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diff --git a/old/mfrnd10.txt b/old/mfrnd10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a7ac28a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mfrnd10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,41005 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext of Our Mutual Friend, by Charles Dickens +#22 in our series by Charles Dickens + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Association/Carnegie-Mellon + University" within the 60 days following each + date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) + your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, +scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty +free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution +you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg +Association / Carnegie-Mellon University". + +*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +Prepared by: +Donald Lainson +charlie@idirect.com + + + + + +OUR MUTUAL FRIEND + +Charles Dickens + + + +CONTENTS + + + +Book the First + +THE CUP AND THE LIP + + +1. ON THE LOOK OUT +2. THE MAN FROM SOMEWHERE +3. ANOTHER MAN +4. THE R. WILFER FAMILY +5. BOFFIN'S BOWER +6. CUT ADRIFT +7. MR WEGG LOOKS AFTER HIMSELF +8. MR BOFFIN IN CONSULTATION +9. MR AND MRS BOFFIN IN CONSULTATION +10. A MARRIAGE CONTRACT +11. PODSNAPPERY +12. THE SWEAT OF AN HONEST MAN'S BROW +13. TRACKING THE BIRD OF PREY +14. THE BIRD OF PREY BROUGHT DOWN +15. TWO NEW SERVANTS +16. MINDERS AND RE-MINDERS +17. A DISMAL SWAMP + + + +Book the Second + +BIRDS OF A FEATHER + + +1. OF AN EDUCATIONAL CHARACTER +2. STILL EDUCATIONAL +3. A PIECE OF WORK +4. CUPID PROMPTED +5. MERCURY PROMPTING +6. A RIDDLE WITHOUT AN ANSWER +7. IN WHICH A FRIENDLY MOVE IS ORIGINATED +8. IN WHICH AN INNOCENT ELOPEMENT OCCURS +9. IN WHICH THE ORPHAN MAKES HIS WILL +10. A SUCCESSOR +11. SOME AFFAIRS OF THE HEART +12. MORE BIRDS OF PREY +13. A SOLO AND A DUETT +14. STRONG OF PURPOSE +15. THE WHOLE CASE SO FAR +16. AN ANNIVERSARY OCCASION + + + +Book the Third + +A LONG LANE + + +1. LODGERS IN QUEER STREET +2. A RESPECTED FRIEND IN A NEW ASPECT +3. THE SAME RESPECTED FRIEND IN MORE ASPECTS THAN ONE +4. A HAPPY RETURN OF THE DAY +5. THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN FALLS INTO BAD COMPANY +6. THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN FALLS INTO WORSE COMPANY +7. THE FRIENDLY MOVE TAKES UP A STRONG POSITION +8. THE END OF A LONG JOURNEY +9. SOMEBODY BECOMES THE SUBJECT OF A PREDICTION +10. SCOUTS OUT +11. IN THE DARK +12. MEANING MISCHIEF +13. GIVE A DOG A BAD NAME, AND HANG HIM +14. MR WEGG PREPARES A GRINDSTONE FOR MR BOFFIN'S NOSE +15. THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN AT HIS WORST +16. THE FEAST OF THE THREE HOBGOBLINS +17. A SOCIAL CHORUS + + + +Book the Fourth + +A TURNING + + +1. SETTING TRAPS +2. THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN RISES A LITTLE +3. THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN SINKS AGAIN +4. A RUNAWAY MATCH +5. CONCERNING THE MENDICANT'S BRIDE +6. A CRY FOR HELP +7. BETTER TO BE ABEL THAN CAIN +8. A FEW GRAINS OF PEPPER +9. TWO PLACES VACATED +10. THE DOLLS' DRESSMAKER DISCOVERS A WORD +11. EFFECT IS GIVEN TO THE DOLLS' DRESSMAKER'S DISCOVERY +12. THE PASSING SHADOW +13. SHOWING HOW THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN HELPED TO SCATTER DUST +14. CHECKMATE TO THE FRIENDLY MOVE +15. WHAT WAS CAUGHT IN THE TRAPS THAT WERE SET +16. PERSONS AND THINGS IN GENERAL +17. THE VOICE OF SOCIETY + + +POSTSCRIPT, IN LIEU OF PREFACE + + + + +BOOK THE FIRST + + + + +THE CUP AND THE LIP + + + +Chapter 1 + +ON THE LOOK OUT + + +In these times of ours, though concerning the exact year there is no +need to be precise, a boat of dirty and disreputable appearance, +with two figures in it, floated on the Thames, between Southwark +bridge which is of iron, and London Bridge which is of stone, as an +autumn evening was closing in. + +The figures in this boat were those of a strong man with ragged +grizzled hair and a sun-browned face, and a dark girl of nineteen or +twenty, sufficiently like him to be recognizable as his daughter. +The girl rowed, pulling a pair of sculls very easily; the man, with +the rudder-lines slack in his hands, and his hands loose in his +waistband, kept an eager look out. He had no net, hook, or line, +and he could not be a fisherman; his boat had no cushion for a +sitter, no paint, no inscription, no appliance beyond a rusty +boathook and a coil of rope, and he could not be a waterman; his +boat was too crazy and too small to take in cargo for delivery, and +he could not be a lighterman or river-carrier; there was no clue to +what he looked for, but he looked for something, with a most intent +and searching gaze. The tide, which had turned an hour before, +was running down, and his eyes watched every little race and eddy +in its broad sweep, as the boat made slight head-way against it, or +drove stern foremost before it, according as he directed his +daughter by a movement of his head. She watched his face as +earnestly as he watched the river. But, in the intensity of her look +there was a touch of dread or horror. + +Allied to the bottom of the river rather than the surface, by reason +of the slime and ooze with which it was covered, and its sodden +state, this boat and the two figures in it obviously were doing +something that they often did, and were seeking what they often +sought. Half savage as the man showed, with no covering on his +matted head, with his brown arms bare to between the elbow and +the shoulder, with the loose knot of a looser kerchief lying low on +his bare breast in a wilderness of beard and whisker, with such +dress as he wore seeming to be made out of the mud that begrimed +his boat, still there was a business-like usage in his steady gaze. +So with every lithe action of the girl, with every turn of her wrist, +perhaps most of all with her look of dread or horror; they were +things of usage. + +'Keep her out, Lizzie. Tide runs strong here. Keep her well afore +the sweep of it.' + +Trusting to the girl's skill and making no use of the rudder, he eyed +the coming tide with an absorbed attention. So the girl eyed him. +But, it happened now, that a slant of light from the setting sun +glanced into the bottom of the boat, and, touching a rotten stain +there which bore some resemblance to the outline of a muffled +human form, coloured it as though with diluted blood. This caught +the girl's eye, and she shivered. + +'What ails you?' said the man, immediately aware of it, though so +intent on the advancing waters; 'I see nothing afloat.' + +The red light was gone, the shudder was gone, and his gaze, which +had come back to the boat for a moment, travelled away again. +Wheresoever the strong tide met with an impediment, his gaze +paused for an instant. At every mooring-chain and rope, at every +stationery boat or barge that split the current into a broad- +arrowhead, at the offsets from the piers of Southwark Bridge, at the +paddles of the river steamboats as they beat the filthy water, at the +floating logs of timber lashed together lying off certain wharves, +his shining eyes darted a hungry look. After a darkening hour or +so, suddenly the rudder-lines tightened in his hold, and he steered +hard towards the Surrey shore. + +Always watching his face, the girl instantly answered to the action +in her sculling; presently the boat swung round, quivered as from a +sudden jerk, and the upper half of the man was stretched out over +the stern. + +The girl pulled the hood of a cloak she wore, over her head and +over her face, and, looking backward so that the front folds of this +hood were turned down the river, kept the boat in that direction +going before the tide. Until now, the boat had barely held her own, +and had hovered about one spot; but now, the banks changed +swiftly, and the deepening shadows and the kindling lights of +London Bridge were passed, and the tiers of shipping lay on either +hand. + +It was not until now that the upper half of the man came back into +the boat. His arms were wet and dirty, and he washed them over +the side. In his right hand he held something, and he washed that +in the river too. It was money. He chinked it once, and he blew +upon it once, and he spat upon it once,--'for luck,' he hoarsely said +--before he put it in his pocket. + +'Lizzie!' + +The girl turned her face towards him with a start, and rowed in +silence. Her face was very pale. He was a hook-nosed man, and +with that and his bright eyes and his ruffled head, bore a certain +likeness to a roused bird of prey. + +'Take that thing off your face.' + +She put it back. + +'Here! and give me hold of the sculls. I'll take the rest of the spell.' + +'No, no, father! No! I can't indeed. Father!--I cannot sit so near it!' + +He was moving towards her to change places, but her terrified +expostulation stopped him and he resumed his seat. + +'What hurt can it do you?' + +'None, none. But I cannot bear it.' + +'It's my belief you hate the sight of the very river.' + +'I--I do not like it, father.' + +'As if it wasn't your living! As if it wasn't meat and drink to you!' + +At these latter words the girl shivered again, and for a moment +paused in her rowing, seeming to turn deadly faint. It escaped his +attention, for he was glancing over the stern at something the boat +had in tow. + +'How can you be so thankless to your best friend, Lizzie? The very +fire that warmed you when you were a babby, was picked out of +the river alongside the coal barges. The very basket that you slept +in, the tide washed ashore. The very rockers that I put it upon to +make a cradle of it, I cut out of a piece of wood that drifted from +some ship or another.' + +Lizzie took her right hand from the scull it held, and touched her +lips with it, and for a moment held it out lovingly towards him: +then, without speaking, she resumed her rowing, as another boat of +similar appearance, though in rather better trim, came out from a +dark place and dropped softly alongside. + +'In luck again, Gaffer?' said a man with a squinting leer, who +sculled her and who was alone, 'I know'd you was in luck again, by +your wake as you come down.' + +'Ah!' replied the other, drily. 'So you're out, are you?' + +'Yes, pardner.' + +There was now a tender yellow moonlight on the river, and the +new comer, keeping half his boat's length astern of the other boat +looked hard at its track. + +'I says to myself,' he went on, 'directly you hove in view, yonder's +Gaffer, and in luck again, by George if he ain't! Scull it is, +pardner--don't fret yourself--I didn't touch him.' This was in +answer to a quick impatient movement on the part of Gaffer: the +speaker at the same time unshipping his scull on that side, and +laying his hand on the gunwale of Gaffer's boat and holding to it. + +'He's had touches enough not to want no more, as well as I make +him out, Gaffer! Been a knocking about with a pretty many tides, +ain't he pardner? Such is my out-of-luck ways, you see! He must +have passed me when he went up last time, for I was on the +lookout below bridge here. I a'most think you're like the wulturs, +pardner, and scent 'em out.' + +He spoke in a dropped voice, and with more than one glance at +Lizzie who had pulled on her hood again. Both men then looked +with a weird unholy interest in the wake of Gaffer's boat. + +'Easy does it, betwixt us. Shall I take him aboard, pardner?' + +'No,' said the other. In so surly a tone that the man, after a blank +stare, acknowledged it with the retort: + +'--Arn't been eating nothing as has disagreed with you, have you, +pardner?' + +'Why, yes, I have,' said Gaffer. 'I have been swallowing too much +of that word, Pardner. I am no pardner of yours.' + +'Since when was you no pardner of mine, Gaffer Hexam Esquire?' + +'Since you was accused of robbing a man. Accused of robbing a +live man!' said Gaffer, with great indignation. + +'And what if I had been accused of robbing a dead man, Gaffer?' + +'You COULDN'T do it.' + +'Couldn't you, Gaffer?' + +'No. Has a dead man any use for money? Is it possible for a dead +man to have money? What world does a dead man belong to? +'Tother world. What world does money belong to? This world. +How can money be a corpse's? Can a corpse own it, want it, spend +it, claim it, miss it? Don't try to go confounding the rights and +wrongs of things in that way. But it's worthy of the sneaking spirit +that robs a live man.' + +'I'll tell you what it is--.' + +'No you won't. I'll tell you what it is. You got off with a short time +of it for putting you're hand in the pocket of a sailor, a live sailor. +Make the most of it and think yourself lucky, but don't think after +that to come over ME with your pardners. We have worked +together in time past, but we work together no more in time present +nor yet future. Let go. Cast off!' + +'Gaffer! If you think to get rid of me this way--.' + +'If I don't get rid of you this way, I'll try another, and chop you over +the fingers with the stretcher, or take a pick at your head with the +boat-hook. Cast off! Pull you, Lizzie. Pull home, since you won't +let your father pull.' + +Lizzie shot ahead, and the other boat fell astern. Lizzie's father, +composing himself into the easy attitude of one who had asserted +the high moralities and taken an unassailable position, slowly +lighted a pipe, and smoked, and took a survey of what he had in +tow. What he had in tow, lunged itself at him sometimes in an +awful manner when the boat was checked, and sometimes seemed +to try to wrench itself away, though for the most part it followed +submissively. A neophyte might have fancied that the ripples +passing over it were dreadfully like faint changes of expression on +a sightless face; but Gaffer was no neophyte and had no fancies. + + + +Chapter 2 + +THE MAN FROM SOMEWHERE + + +Mr and Mrs Veneering were bran-new people in a bran-new house +in a bran-new quarter of London. Everything about the Veneerings +was spick and span new. All their furniture was new, all their +friends were new, all their servants were new, their plate was new, +their carriage was new, their harness was new, their horses were +new, their pictures were new, they themselves were new, they were +as newly married as was lawfully compatible with their having a +bran-new baby, and if they had set up a great-grandfather, he +would have come home in matting from the Pantechnicon, without +a scratch upon him, French polished to the crown of his head. + +For, in the Veneering establishment, from the hall-chairs with the +new coat of arms, to the grand pianoforte with the new action, and +upstairs again to the new fire-escape, all things were in a state of +high varnish and polish. And what was observable in the +furniture, was observable in the Veneerings--the surface smelt a +little too much of the workshop and was a trifle sticky. + +There was an innocent piece of dinner-furniture that went upon +easy castors and was kept over a livery stable-yard in Duke Street, +Saint James's, when not in use, to whom the Veneerings were a +source of blind confusion. The name of this article was Twemlow. +Being first cousin to Lord Snigsworth, he was in frequent +requisition, and at many houses might be said to represent the +dining-table in its normal state. Mr and Mrs Veneering, for +example, arranging a dinner, habitually started with Twemlow, +and then put leaves in him, or added guests to him. Sometimes, +the table consisted of Twemlow and half a dozen leaves; +sometimes, of Twemlow and a dozen leaves; sometimes, Twemlow +was pulled out to his utmost extent of twenty leaves. Mr and Mrs +Veneering on occasions of ceremony faced each other in the centre +of the board, and thus the parallel still held; for, it always +happened that the more Twemlow was pulled out, the further he +found himself from the center, and nearer to the sideboard at one +end of the room, or the window-curtains at the other. + +But, it was not this which steeped the feeble soul of Twemlow in +confusion. This he was used to, and could take soundings of. The +abyss to which he could find no bottom, and from which started +forth the engrossing and ever-swelling difficulty of his life, was the +insoluble question whether he was Veneering's oldest friend, or +newest friend. To the excogitation of this problem, the harmless +gentleman had devoted many anxious hours, both in his lodgings +over the livery stable-yard, and in the cold gloom, favourable to +meditation, of Saint James's Square. Thus. Twemlow had first +known Veneering at his club, where Veneering then knew nobody +but the man who made them known to one another, who seemed to +be the most intimate friend he had in the world, and whom he had +known two days--the bond of union between their souls, the +nefarious conduct of the committee respecting the cookery of a +fillet of veal, having been accidentally cemented at that date. +Immediately upon this, Twemlow received an invitation to dine +with Veneering, and dined: the man being of the party. +Immediately upon that, Twemlow received an invitation to dine +with the man, and dined: Veneering being of the party. At the +man's were a Member, an Engineer, a Payer-off of the National +Debt, a Poem on Shakespeare, a Grievance, and a Public Office, +who all seem to be utter strangers to Veneering. And yet +immediately after that, Twemlow received an invitation to dine at +Veneerings, expressly to meet the Member, the Engineer, the +Payer-off of the National Debt, the Poem on Shakespeare, the +Grievance, and the Public Office, and, dining, discovered that all of +them were the most intimate friends Veneering had in the world, +and that the wives of all of them (who were all there) were the +objects of Mrs Veneering's most devoted affection and tender +confidence. + +Thus it had come about, that Mr Twemlow had said to himself in +his lodgings, with his hand to his forehead: 'I must not think of +this. This is enough to soften any man's brain,'--and yet was +always thinking of it, and could never form a conclusion. + +This evening the Veneerings give a banquet. Eleven leaves in the +Twemlow; fourteen in company all told. Four pigeon-breasted +retainers in plain clothes stand in line in the hall. A fifth retainer, +proceeding up the staircase with a mournful air--as who should +say, 'Here is another wretched creature come to dinner; such is +life!'--announces, 'Mis-ter Twemlow!' + +Mrs Veneering welcomes her sweet Mr Twemlow. Mr Veneering +welcomes his dear Twemlow. Mrs Veneering does not expect that +Mr Twemlow can in nature care much for such insipid things as +babies, but so old a friend must please to look at baby. 'Ah! You +will know the friend of your family better, Tootleums,' says Mr +Veneering, nodding emotionally at that new article, 'when you +begin to take notice.' He then begs to make his dear Twemlow +known to his two friends, Mr Boots and Mr Brewer--and clearly +has no distinct idea which is which. + +But now a fearful circumstance occurs. + +'Mis-ter and Mis-sus Podsnap!' + +'My dear,' says Mr Veneering to Mrs Veneering, with an air of +much friendly interest, while the door stands open, 'the Podsnaps.' + +A too, too smiling large man, with a fatal freshness on him, +appearing with his wife, instantly deserts his wife and darts at +Twemlow with: + +'How do you do? So glad to know you. Charming house you have +here. I hope we are not late. So glad of the opportunity, I am sure!' + +When the first shock fell upon him, Twemlow twice skipped back +in his neat little shoes and his neat little silk stockings of a bygone +fashion, as if impelled to leap over a sofa behind him; but the large +man closed with him and proved too strong. + +'Let me,' says the large man, trying to attract the attention of his +wife in the distance, 'have the pleasure of presenting Mrs Podsnap +to her host. She will be,' in his fatal freshness he seems to find +perpetual verdure and eternal youth in the phrase, 'she will be so +glad of the opportunity, I am sure!' + +In the meantime, Mrs Podsnap, unable to originate a mistake on +her own account, because Mrs Veneering is the only other lady +there, does her best in the way of handsomely supporting her +husband's, by looking towards Mr Twemlow with a plaintive +countenance and remarking to Mrs Veneering in a feeling manner, +firstly, that she fears he has been rather bilious of late, and, +secondly, that the baby is already very like him. + +It is questionable whether any man quite relishes being mistaken +for any other man; but, Mr Veneering having this very evening set +up the shirt-front of the young Antinous in new worked cambric +just come home, is not at all complimented by being supposed to +be Twemlow, who is dry and weazen and some thirty years older. +Mrs Veneering equally resents the imputation of being the wife of +Twemlow. As to Twemlow, he is so sensible of being a much +better bred man than Veneering, that he considers the large man an +offensive ass. + +In this complicated dilemma, Mr Veneering approaches the large +man with extended hand and, smilingly assures that incorrigible +personage that he is delighted to see him: who in his fatal +freshness instantly replies: + +'Thank you. I am ashamed to say that I cannot at this moment +recall where we met, but I am so glad of this opportunity, I am +sure!' + +Then pouncing upon Twemlow, who holds back with all his feeble +might, he is haling him off to present him, as Veneering, to Mrs +Podsnap, when the arrival of more guests unravels the mistake. +Whereupon, having re-shaken hands with Veneering as Veneering, +he re-shakes hands with Twemlow as Twemlow, and winds it all +up to his own perfect satisfaction by saying to the last-named, +'Ridiculous opportunity--but so glad of it, I am sure!' + +Now, Twemlow having undergone this terrific experience, having +likewise noted the fusion of Boots in Brewer and Brewer in Boots, +and having further observed that of the remaining seven guests +four discrete characters enter with wandering eyes and wholly +declined to commit themselves as to which is Veneering, until +Veneering has them in his grasp;--Twemlow having profited by +these studies, finds his brain wholesomely hardening as he +approaches the conclusion that he really is Veneering's oldest +friend, when his brain softens again and all is lost, through his +eyes encountering Veneering and the large man linked together as +twin brothers in the back drawing-room near the conservatory +door, and through his ears informing him in the tones of Mrs +Veneering that the same large man is to be baby's godfather. + +'Dinner is on the table!' + +Thus the melancholy retainer, as who should say, 'Come down and +be poisoned, ye unhappy children of men!' + +Twemlow, having no lady assigned him, goes down in the rear, +with his hand to his forehead. Boots and Brewer, thinking him +indisposed, whisper, 'Man faint. Had no lunch.' But he is only +stunned by the unvanquishable difficulty of his existence. + +Revived by soup, Twemlow discourses mildly of the Court +Circular with Boots and Brewer. Is appealed to, at the fish stage of +the banquet, by Veneering, on the disputed question whether his +cousin Lord Snigsworth is in or out of town? Gives it that his +cousin is out of town. 'At Snigsworthy Park?' Veneering inquires. +'At Snigsworthy,' Twemlow rejoins. Boots and Brewer regard this +as a man to be cultivated; and Veneering is clear that he is a +renumerative article. Meantime the retainer goes round, like a +gloomy Analytical Chemist: always seeming to say, after 'Chablis, +sir?'--'You wouldn't if you knew what it's made of.' + +The great looking-glass above the sideboard, reflects the table and +the company. Reflects the new Veneering crest, in gold and eke in +silver, frosted and also thawed, a camel of all work. The Heralds' +College found out a Crusading ancestor for Veneering who bore a +camel on his shield (or might have done it if he had thought of it), +and a caravan of camels take charge of the fruits and flowers and +candles, and kneel down be loaded with the salt. Reflects +Veneering; forty, wavy-haired, dark, tending to corpulence, sly, +mysterious, filmy--a kind of sufficiently well-looking veiled- +prophet, not prophesying. Reflects Mrs Veneering; fair, aquiline- +nosed and fingered, not so much light hair as she might have, +gorgeous in raiment and jewels, enthusiastic, propitiatory, +conscious that a corner of her husband's veil is over herself. +Reflects Podsnap; prosperously feeding, two little light-coloured +wiry wings, one on either side of his else bald head, looking as like +his hairbrushes as his hair, dissolving view of red beads on his +forehead, large allowance of crumpled shirt-collar up behind. +Reflects Mrs Podsnap; fine woman for Professor Owen, quantity of +bone, neck and nostrils like a rocking-horse, hard features, +majestic head-dress in which Podsnap has hung golden offerings. +Reflects Twemlow; grey, dry, polite, susceptible to east wind, +First-Gentleman-in-Europe collar and cravat, cheeks drawn in as if +he had made a great effort to retire into himself some years ago, +and had got so far and had never got any farther. Reflects mature +young lady; raven locks, and complexion that lights up well when +well powdered--as it is--carrying on considerably in the captivation +of mature young gentleman; with too much nose in his face, too +much ginger in his whiskers, too much torso in his waistcoat, too +much sparkle in his studs, his eyes, his buttons, his talk, and his +teeth. Reflects charming old Lady Tippins on Veneering's right; +with an immense obtuse drab oblong face, like a face in a +tablespoon, and a dyed Long Walk up the top of her head, as a +convenient public approach to the bunch of false hair behind, +pleased to patronize Mrs Veneering opposite, who is pleased to be +patronized. Reflects a certain 'Mortimer', another of Veneering's +oldest friends; who never was in the house before, and appears not +to want to come again, who sits disconsolate on Mrs Veneering's +left, and who was inveigled by Lady Tippins (a friend of his +boyhood) to come to these people's and talk, and who won't talk. +Reflects Eugene, friend of Mortimer; buried alive in the back of his +chair, behind a shoulder--with a powder-epaulette on it--of the +mature young lady, and gloomily resorting to the champagne +chalice whenever proffered by the Analytical Chemist. Lastly, the +looking-glass reflects Boots and Brewer, and two other stuffed +Buffers interposed between the rest of the company and possible +accidents. + +The Veneering dinners are excellent dinners--or new people +wouldn't come--and all goes well. Notably, Lady Tippins has +made a series of experiments on her digestive functions, so +extremely complicated and daring, that if they could be published +with their results it might benefit the human race. Having taken in +provisions from all parts of the world, this hardy old cruiser has +last touched at the North Pole, when, as the ice-plates are being +removed, the following words fall from her: + +'I assure you, my dear Veneering--' + +(Poor Twemlow's hand approaches his forehead, for it would seem +now, that Lady Tippins is going to be the oldest friend.) + +'I assure you, my dear Veneering, that it is the oddest affair! Like +the advertising people, I don't ask you to trust me, without offering +a respectable reference. Mortimer there, is my reference, and +knows all about it.' + +Mortimer raises his drooping eyelids, and slightly opens his +mouth. But a faint smile, expressive of 'What's the use!' passes +over his face, and he drops his eyelids and shuts his mouth. + +'Now, Mortimer,' says Lady Tippins, rapping the sticks of her +closed green fan upon the knuckles of her left hand--which is +particularly rich in knuckles, 'I insist upon your telling all that is to +be told about the man from Jamaica.' + +'Give you my honour I never heard of any man from Jamaica, +except the man who was a brother,' replies Mortimer. + +'Tobago, then.' + +'Nor yet from Tobago.' + +'Except,' Eugene strikes in: so unexpectedly that the mature young +lady, who has forgotten all about him, with a start takes the +epaulette out of his way: 'except our friend who long lived on rice- +pudding and isinglass, till at length to his something or other, his +physician said something else, and a leg of mutton somehow ended +in daygo.' + +A reviving impression goes round the table that Eugene is coming +out. An unfulfilled impression, for he goes in again. + +'Now, my dear Mrs Veneering,' quoth Lady Tippins, I appeal to +you whether this is not the basest conduct ever known in this +world? I carry my lovers about, two or three at a time, on +condition that they are very obedient and devoted; and here is my +oldest lover-in-chief, the head of all my slaves, throwing off his +allegiance before company! And here is another of my lovers, a +rough Cymon at present certainly, but of whom I had most hopeful +expectations as to his turning out well in course of time, pretending +that he can't remember his nursery rhymes! On purpose to annoy +me, for he knows how I doat upon them!' + +A grisly little fiction concerning her lovers is Lady Tippins's point. +She is always attended by a lover or two, and she keeps a little list +of her lovers, and she is always booking a new lover, or striking +out an old lover, or putting a lover in her black list, or promoting a +lover to her blue list, or adding up her lovers, or otherwise posting +her book. Mrs Veneering is charmed by the humour, and so is +Veneering. Perhaps it is enhanced by a certain yellow play in Lady +Tippins's throat, like the legs of scratching poultry. + +'I banish the false wretch from this moment, and I strike him out of +my Cupidon (my name for my Ledger, my dear,) this very night. +But I am resolved to have the account of the man from Somewhere, +and I beg you to elicit it for me, my love,' to Mrs Veneering, 'as I +have lost my own influence. Oh, you perjured man!' This to +Mortimer, with a rattle of her fan. + +'We are all very much interested in the man from Somewhere,' +Veneering observes. + +Then the four Buffers, taking heart of grace all four at once, say: + +'Deeply interested!' + +'Quite excited!' + +'Dramatic!' + +'Man from Nowhere, perhaps!' + +And then Mrs Veneering--for the Lady Tippins's winning wiles are +contagious--folds her hands in the manner of a supplicating child, +turns to her left neighbour, and says, 'Tease! Pay! Man from +Tumwhere!' At which the four Buffers, again mysteriously moved +all four at once, explain, 'You can't resist!' + +'Upon my life,' says Mortimer languidly, 'I find it immensely +embarrassing to have the eyes of Europe upon me to this extent, +and my only consolation is that you will all of you execrate Lady +Tippins in your secret hearts when you find, as you inevitably will, +the man from Somewhere a bore. Sorry to destroy romance by +fixing him with a local habitation, but he comes from the place, the +name of which escapes me, but will suggest itself to everybody +else here, where they make the wine.' + +Eugene suggests 'Day and Martin's.' + +'No, not that place,' returns the unmoved Mortimer, 'that's where +they make the Port. My man comes from the country where they +make the Cape Wine. But look here, old fellow; its not at all +statistical and it's rather odd.' + +It is always noticeable at the table of the Veneerings, that no man +troubles himself much about the Veneerings themselves, and that +any one who has anything to tell, generally tells it to anybody else +in preference. + +'The man,' Mortimer goes on, addressing Eugene, 'whose name is +Harmon, was only son of a tremendous old rascal who made his +money by Dust.' + +'Red velveteens and a bell?' the gloomy Eugene inquires. + +'And a ladder and basket if you like. By which means, or by +others, he grew rich as a Dust Contractor, and lived in a hollow in +a hilly country entirely composed of Dust. On his own small estate +the growling old vagabond threw up his own mountain range, like +an old volcano, and its geological formation was Dust. Coal-dust, +vegetable-dust, bone-dust, crockery dust, rough dust and sifted +dust,--all manner of Dust.' + +A passing remembrance of Mrs Veneering, here induces Mortimer +to address his next half-dozen words to her; after which he +wanders away again, tries Twemlow and finds he doesn't answer, +ultimately takes up with the Buffers who receive him +enthusiastically. + +'The moral being--I believe that's the right expression--of this +exemplary person, derived its highest gratification from +anathematizing his nearest relations and turning them out of doors. +Having begun (as was natural) by rendering these attentions to the +wife of his bosom, he next found himself at leisure to bestow a +similar recognition on the claims of his daughter. He chose a +husband for her, entirely to his own satisfaction and not in the least +to hers, and proceeded to settle upon her, as her marriage portion, I +don't know how much Dust, but something immense. At this +stage of the affair the poor girl respectfully intimated that she was +secretly engaged to that popular character whom the novelists and +versifiers call Another, and that such a marriage would make Dust +of her heart and Dust of her life--in short, would set her up, on a +very extensive scale, in her father's business. Immediately, the +venerable parent--on a cold winter's night, it is said-- +anathematized and turned her out.' + +Here, the Analytical Chemist (who has evidently formed a very low +opinion of Mortimer's story) concedes a little claret to the Buffers; +who, again mysteriously moved all four at once, screw it slowly +into themselves with a peculiar twist of enjoyment, as they cry in +chorus, 'Pray go on.' + +'The pecuniary resources of Another were, as they usually are, of a +very limited nature. I believe I am not using too strong an +expression when I say that Another was hard up. However, he +married the young lady, and they lived in a humble dwelling, +probably possessing a porch ornamented with honeysuckle and +woodbine twining, until she died. I must refer you to the Registrar +of the District in which the humble dwelling was situated, for the +certified cause of death; but early sorrow and anxiety may have had +to do with it, though they may not appear in the ruled pages and +printed forms. Indisputably this was the case with Another, for he +was so cut up by the loss of his young wife that if he outlived her a +year it was as much as he did.' + +There is that in the indolent Mortimer, which seems to hint that if +good society might on any account allow itself to be impressible, +he, one of good society, might have the weakness to be impressed +by what he here relates. It is hidden with great pains, but it is in +him. The gloomy Eugene too, is not without some kindred touch; +for, when that appalling Lady Tippins declares that if Another had +survived, he should have gone down at the head of her list of +lovers--and also when the mature young lady shrugs her epaulettes, +and laughs at some private and confidential comment from the +mature young gentleman--his gloom deepens to that degree that he +trifles quite ferociously with his dessert-knife. + +Mortimer proceeds. + +'We must now return, as novelists say, and as we all wish they +wouldn't, to the man from Somewhere. Being a boy of fourteen, +cheaply educated at Brussels when his sister's expulsion befell, it +was some little time before he heard of it--probably from herself, +for the mother was dead; but that I don't know. Instantly, he +absconded, and came over here. He must have been a boy of spirit +and resource, to get here on a stopped allowance of five sous a +week; but he did it somehow, and he burst in on his father, and +pleaded his sister's cause. Venerable parent promptly resorts to +anathematization, and turns him out. Shocked and terrified boy +takes flight, seeks his fortune, gets aboard ship, ultimately turns up +on dry land among the Cape wine: small proprietor, farmer, +grower--whatever you like to call it.' + +At this juncture, shuffling is heard in the hall, and tapping is heard +at the dining-room door. Analytical Chemist goes to the door, +confers angrily with unseen tapper, appears to become mollified by +descrying reason in the tapping, and goes out. + +'So he was discovered, only the other day, after having been +expatriated about fourteen years.' + +A Buffer, suddenly astounding the other three, by detaching +himself, and asserting individuality, inquires: 'How discovered, +and why?' + +'Ah! To be sure. Thank you for reminding me. Venerable parent +dies.' + +Same Buffer, emboldened by success, says: 'When?' + +'The other day. Ten or twelve months ago.' + +Same Buffer inquires with smartness, 'What of?' But herein +perishes a melancholy example; being regarded by the three other +Buffers with a stony stare, and attracting no further attention from +any mortal. + +'Venerable parent,' Mortimer repeats with a passing remembrance +that there is a Veneering at table, and for the first time addressing +him--'dies.' + +The gratified Veneering repeats, gravely, 'dies'; and folds his arms, +and composes his brow to hear it out in a judicial manner, when he +finds himself again deserted in the bleak world. + +'His will is found,' said Mortimer, catching Mrs Podsnap's rocking- +horse's eye. 'It is dated very soon after the son's flight. It leaves +the lowest of the range of dust-mountains, with some sort of a +dwelling-house at its foot, to an old servant who is sole executor, +and all the rest of the property--which is very considerable--to the +son. He directs himself to be buried with certain eccentric +ceremonies and precautions against his coming to life, with which +I need not bore you, and that's all--except--' and this ends the story. + +The Analytical Chemist returning, everybody looks at him. Not +because anybody wants to see him, but because of that subtle +influence in nature which impels humanity to embrace the slightest +opportunity of looking at anything, rather than the person who +addresses it. + +'--Except that the son's inheriting is made conditional on his +marrying a girl, who at the date of the will, was a child of four or +five years old, and who is now a marriageable young woman. +Advertisement and inquiry discovered the son in the man from +Somewhere, and at the present moment, he is on his way home +from there--no doubt, in a state of great astonishment--to succeed +to a very large fortune, and to take a wife.' + +Mrs Podsnap inquires whether the young person is a young person +of personal charms? Mortimer is unable to report. + +Mr Podsnap inquires what would become of the very large fortune, +in the event of the marriage condition not being fulfilled? +Mortimer replies, that by special testamentary clause it would then +go to the old servant above mentioned, passing over and excluding +the son; also, that if the son had not been living, the same old +servant would have been sole residuary legatee. + +Mrs Veneering has just succeeded in waking Lady Tippins from a +snore, by dexterously shunting a train of plates and dishes at her +knuckles across the table; when everybody but Mortimer himself +becomes aware that the Analytical Chemist is, in a ghostly +manner, offering him a folded paper. Curiosity detains Mrs +Veneering a few moments. + +Mortimer, in spite of all the arts of the chemist, placidly refreshes +himself with a glass of Madeira, and remains unconscious of the +Document which engrosses the general attention, until Lady +Tippins (who has a habit of waking totally insensible), having +remembered where she is, and recovered a perception of +surrounding objects, says: 'Falser man than Don Juan; why don't +you take the note from the commendatore?' Upon which, the +chemist advances it under the nose of Mortimer, who looks round +at him, and says: + +'What's this?' + +Analytical Chemist bends and whispers. + +'WHO?' Says Mortimer. + +Analytical Chemist again bends and whispers. + +Mortimer stares at him, and unfolds the paper. Reads it, reads it +twice, turns it over to look at the blank outside, reads it a third +time. + +'This arrives in an extraordinarily opportune manner,' says +Mortimer then, looking with an altered face round the table: 'this is +the conclusion of the story of the identical man.' + +'Already married?' one guesses. + +'Declines to marry?' another guesses. + +'Codicil among the dust?' another guesses. + +'Why, no,' says Mortimer; 'remarkable thing, you are all wrong. +The story is completer and rather more exciting than I supposed. +Man's drowned!' + + + +Chapter 3 + +ANOTHER MAN + + +As the disappearing skirts of the ladies ascended the Veneering +staircase, Mortimer, following them forth from the dining-room, +turned into a library of bran-new books, in bran-new bindings +liberally gilded, and requested to see the messenger who had +brought the paper. He was a boy of about fifteen. Mortimer looked +at the boy, and the boy looked at the bran-new pilgrims on the +wall, going to Canterbury in more gold frame than procession, and +more carving than country. + +'Whose writing is this?' + +'Mine, sir.' + +'Who told you to write it?' + +'My father, Jesse Hexam.' + +'Is it he who found the body?' + +'Yes, sir.' + +'What is your father?' + +The boy hesitated, looked reproachfully at the pilgrims as if they +had involved him in a little difficulty, then said, folding a plait in +the right leg of his trousers, 'He gets his living along-shore.' + +'Is it far?' + +'Is which far?' asked the boy, upon his guard, and again upon the +road to Canterbury. + +'To your father's?' + +'It's a goodish stretch, sir. I come up in a cab, and the cab's +waiting to be paid. We could go back in it before you paid it, if +you liked. I went first to your office, according to the direction of +the papers found in the pockets, and there I see nobody but a chap +of about my age who sent me on here.' + +There was a curious mixture in the boy, of uncompleted savagery, +and uncompleted civilization. His voice was hoarse and coarse, +and his face was coarse, and his stunted figure was coarse; but he +was cleaner than other boys of his type; and his writing, though +large and round, was good; and he glanced at the backs of the +books, with an awakened curiosity that went below the binding. +No one who can read, ever looks at a book, even unopened on a +shelf, like one who cannot. + +'Were any means taken, do you know, boy, to ascertain if it was +possible to restore life?' Mortimer inquired, as he sought for his +hat. + +'You wouldn't ask, sir, if you knew his state. Pharaoh's multitude +that were drowned in the Red Sea, ain't more beyond restoring to +life. If Lazarus was only half as far gone, that was the greatest of +all the miracles.' + +'Halloa!' cried Mortimer, turning round with his hat upon his head, +'you seem to be at home in the Red Sea, my young friend?' + +'Read of it with teacher at the school,' said the boy. + +'And Lazarus?' + +'Yes, and him too. But don't you tell my father! We should have +no peace in our place, if that got touched upon. It's my sister's +contriving.' + +'You seem to have a good sister.' + +'She ain't half bad,' said the boy; 'but if she knows her letters it's +the most she does--and them I learned her.' + +The gloomy Eugene, with his hands in his pockets, had strolled in +and assisted at the latter part of the dialogue; when the boy spoke +these words slightingly of his sister, he took him roughly enough +by the chin, and turned up his face to look at it. + +'Well, I'm sure, sir!' said the boy, resisting; 'I hope you'll know me +again.' + +Eugene vouchsafed no answer; but made the proposal to Mortimer, +'I'll go with you, if you like?' So, they all three went away together +in the vehicle that had brought the boy; the two friends (once boys +together at a public school) inside, smoking cigars; the messenger +on the box beside the driver. + +'Let me see,' said Mortimer, as they went along; 'I have been, +Eugene, upon the honourable roll of solicitors of the High Court of +Chancery, and attorneys at Common Law, five years; and--except +gratuitously taking instructions, on an average once a fortnight, for +the will of Lady Tippins who has nothing to leave--I have had no +scrap of business but this romantic business.' + +'And I,' said Eugene, 'have been "called" seven years, and have had +no business at all, and never shall have any. And if I had, I +shouldn't know how to do it.' + +'I am far from being clear as to the last particular,' returned +Mortimer, with great composure, 'that I have much advantage over +you.' + +'I hate,' said Eugene, putting his legs up on the opposite seat, 'I +hate my profession.' + +'Shall I incommode you, if I put mine up too?' returned Mortimer. +'Thank you. I hate mine.' + +'It was forced upon me,' said the gloomy Eugene, 'because it was +understood that we wanted a barrister in the family. We have got a +precious one.' + +'It was forced upon me,' said Mortimer, 'because it was understood +that we wanted a solicitor in the family. And we have got a +precious one.' + +'There are four of us, with our names painted on a door-post in +right of one black hole called a set of chambers,' said Eugene; 'and +each of us has the fourth of a clerk--Cassim Baba, in the robber's +cave--and Cassim is the only respectable member of the party.' + +'I am one by myself, one,' said Mortimer, 'high up an awful +staircase commanding a burial-ground, and I have a whole clerk to +myself, and he has nothing to do but look at the burial-ground, and +what he will turn out when arrived at maturity, I cannot conceive. +Whether, in that shabby rook's nest, he is always plotting wisdom, +or plotting murder; whether he will grow up, after so much solitary +brooding, to enlighten his fellow-creatures, or to poison them; is +the only speck of interest that presents itself to my professional +view. Will you give me a light? Thank you.' + +'Then idiots talk,' said Eugene, leaning back, folding his arms, +smoking with his eyes shut, and speaking slightly through his +nose, 'of Energy. If there is a word in the dictionary under any +letter from A to Z that I abominate, it is energy. It is such a +conventional superstition, such parrot gabble! What the deuce! +Am I to rush out into the street, collar the first man of a wealthy +appearance that I meet, shake him, and say, "Go to law upon the +spot, you dog, and retain me, or I'll be the death of you"? Yet that +would be energy.' + +'Precisely my view of the case, Eugene. But show me a good +opportunity, show me something really worth being energetic +about, and I'll show you energy.' + +'And so will I,' said Eugene. + +And it is likely enough that ten thousand other young men, within +the limits of the London Post-office town delivery, made the same +hopeful remark in the course of the same evening. + +The wheels rolled on, and rolled down by the Monument and by +the Tower, and by the Docks; down by Ratcliffe, and by +Rotherhithe; down by where accumulated scum of humanity +seemed to be washed from higher grounds, like so much moral +sewage, and to be pausing until its own weight forced it over the +bank and sunk it in the river. In and out among vessels that +seemed to have got ashore, and houses that seemed to have got +afloat--among bow-splits staring into windows, and windows +staring into ships--the wheels rolled on, until they stopped at a +dark corner, river-washed and otherwise not washed at all, where +the boy alighted and opened the door. + +'You must walk the rest, sir; it's not many yards.' He spoke in the +singular number, to the express exclusion of Eugene. + +'This is a confoundedly out-of-the-way place,' said Mortimer, +slipping over the stones and refuse on the shore, as the boy turned +the corner sharp. + +'Here's my father's, sir; where the light is.' + +The low building had the look of having once been a mill. There +was a rotten wart of wood upon its forehead that seemed to +indicate where the sails had been, but the whole was very +indistinctly seen in the obscurity of the night. The boy lifted the +latch of the door, and they passed at once into a low circular room, +where a man stood before a red fire, looking down into it, and a +girl sat engaged in needlework. The fire was in a rusty brazier, not +fitted to the hearth; and a common lamp, shaped like a hyacinth- +root, smoked and flared in the neck of a stone bottle on the table. +There was a wooden bunk or berth in a corner, and in another +corner a wooden stair leading above--so clumsy and steep that it +was little better than a ladder. Two or three old sculls and oars +stood against the wall, and against another part of the wall was a +small dresser, making a spare show of the commonest articles of +crockery and cooking-vessels. The roof of the room was not +plastered, but was formed of the flooring of the room above. This, +being very old, knotted, seamed, and beamed, gave a lowering +aspect to the chamber; and roof, and walls, and floor, alike +abounding in old smears of flour, red-lead (or some such stain +which it had probably acquired in warehousing), and damp, alike +had a look of decomposition. + +'The gentleman, father.' + +The figure at the red fire turned, raised its ruffled head, and looked +like a bird of prey. + +'You're Mortimer Lightwood Esquire; are you, sir?' + +'Mortimer Lightwood is my name. What you found,' said Mortimer, +glancing rather shrinkingly towards the bunk; 'is it here?' + +''Tain't not to say here, but it's close by. I do everything reg'lar. +I've giv' notice of the circumstarnce to the police, and the police +have took possession of it. No time ain't been lost, on any hand. +The police have put into print already, and here's what the print +says of it.' + +Taking up the bottle with the lamp in it, he held it near a paper on +the wall, with the police heading, BODY FOUND. The two +friends read the handbill as it stuck against the wall, and Gaffer +read them as he held the light. + +'Only papers on the unfortunate man, I see,' said Lightwood, +glancing from the description of what was found, to the finder. + +'Only papers.' + +Here the girl arose with her work in her hand, and went out at the +door. + +'No money,' pursued Mortimer; 'but threepence in one of the skirt- +pockets.' + +'Three. Penny. Pieces,' said Gaffer Hexam, in as many sentences. + +'The trousers pockets empty, and turned inside out.' + +Gaffer Hexam nodded. 'But that's common. Whether it's the wash +of the tide or no, I can't say. Now, here,' moving the light to +another similar placard, 'HIS pockets was found empty, and turned +inside out. And here,' moving the light to another, 'HER pocket +was found empty, and turned inside out. And so was this one's. +And so was that one's. I can't read, nor I don't want to it, for I +know 'em by their places on the wall. This one was a sailor, with +two anchors and a flag and G. F. T. on his arm. Look and see if he +warn't.' + +'Quite right.' + +'This one was the young woman in grey boots, and her linen +marked with a cross. Look and see if she warn't.' + +'Quite right.' + +'This is him as had a nasty cut over the eye. This is them two +young sisters what tied themselves together with a handkecher. +This the drunken old chap, in a pair of list slippers and a nightcap, +wot had offered--it afterwards come out--to make a hole in the +water for a quartern of rum stood aforehand, and kept to his word +for the first and last time in his life. They pretty well papers the +room, you see; but I know 'em all. I'm scholar enough!' + +He waved the light over the whole, as if to typify the light of his +scholarly intelligence, and then put it down on the table and stood +behind it looking intently at his visitors. He had the special +peculiarity of some birds of prey, that when he knitted his brow, +his ruffled crest stood highest. + +'You did not find all these yourself; did you?' asked Eugene. + +To which the bird of prey slowly rejoined, 'And what might YOUR +name be, now?' + +'This is my friend,' Mortimer Lightwood interposed; 'Mr Eugene +Wrayburn.' + +'Mr Eugene Wrayburn, is it? And what might Mr Eugene Wrayburn +have asked of me?' + +'I asked you, simply, if you found all these yourself?' + +'I answer you, simply, most on 'em.' + +'Do you suppose there has been much violence and robbery, +beforehand, among these cases?' + +'I don't suppose at all about it,' returned Gaffer. 'I ain't one of the +supposing sort. If you'd got your living to haul out of the river +every day of your life, you mightn't be much given to supposing. +Am I to show the way?' + +As he opened the door, in pursuance of a nod from Lightwood, an +extremely pale and disturbed face appeared in the doorway--the +face of a man much agitated. + +'A body missing?' asked Gaffer Hexam, stopping short; 'or a body +found? Which?' + +'I am lost!' replied the man, in a hurried and an eager manner. + +'Lost?' + +'I--I--am a stranger, and don't know the way. I--I--want to find the +place where I can see what is described here. It is possible I may +know it.' He was panting, and could hardly speak; but, he showed +a copy of the newly-printed bill that was still wet upon the wall. +Perhaps its newness, or perhaps the accuracy of his observation of +its general look, guided Gaffer to a ready conclusion. + +'This gentleman, Mr Lightwood, is on that business.' + +'Mr Lightwood?' + +During a pause, Mortimer and the stranger confronted each other. +Neither knew the other. + +'I think, sir,' said Mortimer, breaking the awkward silence with his +airy self-possession, 'that you did me the honour to mention my +name?' + +'I repeated it, after this man.' + +'You said you were a stranger in London?' + +'An utter stranger.' + +'Are you seeking a Mr Harmon?' + +'No.' + +'Then I believe I can assure you that you are on a fruitless errand, +and will not find what you fear to find. Will you come with us?' + +A little winding through some muddy alleys that might have been +deposited by the last ill-savoured tide, brought them to the wicket- +gate and bright lamp of a Police Station; where they found the +Night-Inspector, with a pen and ink, and ruler, posting up his +books in a whitewashed office, as studiously as if he were in a +monastery on top of a mountain, and no howling fury of a drunken +woman were banging herself against a cell-door in the back-yard at +his elbow. With the same air of a recluse much given to study, he +desisted from his books to bestow a distrustful nod of recognition +upon Gaffer, plainly importing, 'Ah! we know all about YOU, and +you'll overdo it some day;' and to inform Mr Mortimer Lightwood +and friends, that he would attend them immediately. Then, he +finished ruling the work he had in hand (it might have been +illuminating a missal, he was so calm), in a very neat and +methodical manner, showing not the slightest consciousness of the +woman who was banging herself with increased violence, and +shrieking most terrifically for some other woman's liver. + +'A bull's-eye,' said the Night-Inspector, taking up his keys. Which +a deferential satellite produced. 'Now, gentlemen.' + +With one of his keys, he opened a cool grot at the end of the yard, +and they all went in. They quickly came out again, no one +speaking but Eugene: who remarked to Mortimer, in a whisper, +'Not MUCH worse than Lady Tippins.' + +So, back to the whitewashed library of the monastery--with that +liver still in shrieking requisition, as it had been loudly, while they +looked at the silent sight they came to see--and there through the +merits of the case as summed up by the Abbot. No clue to how +body came into river. Very often was no clue. Too late to know +for certain, whether injuries received before or after death; one +excellent surgical opinion said, before; other excellent surgical +opinion said, after. Steward of ship in which gentleman came +home passenger, had been round to view, and could swear to +identity. Likewise could swear to clothes. And then, you see, you +had the papers, too. How was it he had totally disappeared on +leaving ship, 'till found in river? Well! Probably had been upon +some little game. Probably thought it a harmless game, wasn't up +to things, and it turned out a fatal game. Inquest to-morrow, and +no doubt open verdict. + +'It appears to have knocked your friend over--knocked him +completely off his legs,' Mr Inspector remarked, when he had +finished his summing up. 'It has given him a bad turn to be sure!' +This was said in a very low voice, and with a searching look (not +the first he had cast) at the stranger. + +Mr Lightwood explained that it was no friend of his. + +'Indeed?' said Mr Inspector, with an attentive ear; 'where did you +pick him up?' + +Mr Lightwood explained further. + +Mr Inspector had delivered his summing up, and had added these +words, with his elbows leaning on his desk, and the fingers and +thumb of his right hand, fitting themselves to the fingers and +thumb of his left. Mr Inspector moved nothing but his eyes, as he +now added, raising his voice: + +'Turned you faint, sir! Seems you're not accustomed to this kind of +work?' + +The stranger, who was leaning against the chimneypiece with +drooping head, looked round and answered, 'No. It's a horrible +sight!' + +'You expected to identify, I am told, sir?' + +'Yes.' + +'HAVE you identified?' + +'No. It's a horrible sight. O! a horrible, horrible sight!' + +'Who did you think it might have been?' asked Mr Inspector. 'Give +us a description, sir. Perhaps we can help you.' + +'No, no,' said the stranger; 'it would be quite useless. Good-night.' + +Mr Inspector had not moved, and had given no order; but, the +satellite slipped his back against the wicket, and laid his left arm +along the top of it, and with his right hand turned the bull's-eye he +had taken from his chief--in quite a casual manner--towards the +stranger. + +'You missed a friend, you know; or you missed a foe, you know; or +you wouldn't have come here, you know. Well, then; ain't it +reasonable to ask, who was it?' Thus, Mr Inspector. + +'You must excuse my telling you. No class of man can understand +better than you, that families may not choose to publish their +disagreements and misfortunes, except on the last necessity. I do +not dispute that you discharge your duty in asking me the question; +you will not dispute my right to withhold the answer. Good-night.' + +Again he turned towards the wicket, where the satellite, with his +eye upon his chief, remained a dumb statue. + +'At least,' said Mr Inspector, 'you will not object to leave me your +card, sir?' + +'I should not object, if I had one; but I have not.' He reddened and +was much confused as he gave the answer. + +'At least,' said Mr Inspector, with no change of voice or manner, +'you will not object to write down your name and address?' + +'Not at all.' + +Mr Inspector dipped a pen in his inkstand, and deftly laid it on a +piece of paper close beside him; then resumed his former attitude. +The stranger stepped up to the desk, and wrote in a rather +tremulous hand--Mr Inspector taking sidelong note of every hair of +his head when it was bent down for the purpose--'Mr Julius +Handford, Exchequer Coffee House, Palace Yard, Westminster.' + +'Staying there, I presume, sir?' + +'Staying there.' + +'Consequently, from the country?' + +'Eh? Yes--from the country.' + +'Good-night, sir.' + +The satellite removed his arm and opened the wicket, and Mr +Julius Handford went out. + +'Reserve!' said Mr Inspector. 'Take care of this piece of paper, keep +him in view without giving offence, ascertain that he IS staying +there, and find out anything you can about him.' + +The satellite was gone; and Mr Inspector, becoming once again the +quiet Abbot of that Monastery, dipped his pen in his ink and +resumed his books. The two friends who had watched him, more +amused by the professional manner than suspicious of Mr Julius +Handford, inquired before taking their departure too whether he +believed there was anything that really looked bad here? + +The Abbot replied with reticence, couldn't say. If a murder, +anybody might have done it. Burglary or pocket-picking wanted +'prenticeship. Not so, murder. We were all of us up to that. Had +seen scores of people come to identify, and never saw one person +struck in that particular way. Might, however, have been Stomach +and not Mind. If so, rum stomach. But to be sure there were rum +everythings. Pity there was not a word of truth in that superstition +about bodies bleeding when touched by the hand of the right +person; you never got a sign out of bodies. You got row enough +out of such as her--she was good for all night now (referring here +to the banging demands for the liver), 'but you got nothing out of +bodies if it was ever so.' + +There being nothing more to be done until the Inquest was held +next day, the friends went away together, and Gaffer Hexam and +his son went their separate way. But, arriving at the last corner, +Gaffer bade his boy go home while he turned into a red-curtained +tavern, that stood dropsically bulging over the causeway, 'for a +half-a-pint.' + +The boy lifted the latch he had lifted before, and found his sister +again seated before the fire at her work. Who raised her head upon +his coming in and asking: + +'Where did you go, Liz?' + +'I went out in the dark.' + +'There was no necessity for that. It was all right enough.' + +'One of the gentlemen, the one who didn't speak while I was there, +looked hard at me. And I was afraid he might know what my face +meant. But there! Don't mind me, Charley! I was all in a tremble +of another sort when you owned to father you could write a little.' + +'Ah! But I made believe I wrote so badly, as that it was odds if any +one could read it. And when I wrote slowest and smeared but with +my finger most, father was best pleased, as he stood looking over +me.' + +The girl put aside her work, and drawing her seat close to his seat +by the fire, laid her arm gently on his shoulder. + +'You'll make the most of your time, Charley; won't you?' + +'Won't I? Come! I like that. Don't I?' + +'Yes, Charley, yes. You work hard at your learning, I know. And +I work a little, Charley, and plan and contrive a little (wake out of +my sleep contriving sometimes), how to get together a shilling +now, and a shilling then, that shall make father believe you are +beginning to earn a stray living along shore.' + +'You are father's favourite, and can make him believe anything.' + +'I wish I could, Charley! For if I could make him believe that +learning was a good thing, and that we might lead better lives, I +should be a'most content to die.' + +'Don't talk stuff about dying, Liz.' + +She placed her hands in one another on his shoulder, and laying +her rich brown cheek against them as she looked down at the fire, +went on thoughtfully: + +'Of an evening, Charley, when you are at the school, and father's--' + +'At the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters,' the boy struck in, with a +backward nod of his head towards the public-house. + +'Yes. Then as I sit a-looking at the fire, I seem to see in the +burning coal--like where that glow is now--' + +'That's gas, that is,' said the boy, 'coming out of a bit of a forest +that's been under the mud that was under the water in the days of +Noah's Ark. Look here! When I take the poker--so--and give it a +dig--' + +'Don't disturb it, Charley, or it'll be all in a blaze. It's that dull +glow near it, coming and going, that I mean. When I look at it of +an evening, it comes like pictures to me, Charley.' + +'Show us a picture,' said the boy. 'Tell us where to look.' + +'Ah! It wants my eyes, Charley.' + +'Cut away then, and tell us what your eyes make of it.' + +'Why, there are you and me, Charley, when you were quite a baby +that never knew a mother--' + +'Don't go saying I never knew a mother,' interposed the boy, 'for I +knew a little sister that was sister and mother both.' + +The girl laughed delightedly, and here eyes filled with pleasant +tears, as he put both his arms round her waist and so held her. + +'There are you and me, Charley, when father was away at work and +locked us out, for fear we should set ourselves afire or fall out of +window, sitting on the door-sill, sitting on other door-steps, sitting +on the bank of the river, wandering about to get through the time. +You are rather heavy to carry, Charley, and I am often obliged to +rest. Sometimes we are sleepy and fall asleep together in a corner, +sometimes we are very hungry, sometimes we are a little +frightened, but what is oftenest hard upon us is the cold. You +remember, Charley?' + +'I remember,' said the boy, pressing her to him twice or thrice, 'that +I snuggled under a little shawl, and it was warm there.' + +'Sometimes it rains, and we creep under a boat or the like of that: +sometimes it's dark, and we get among the gaslights, sitting +watching the people as they go along the streets. At last, up comes +father and takes us home. And home seems such a shelter after out +of doors! And father pulls my shoes off, and dries my feet at the +fire, and has me to sit by him while he smokes his pipe long after +you are abed, and I notice that father's is a large hand but never a +heavy one when it touches me, and that father's is a rough voice +but never an angry one when it speaks to me. So, I grow up, and +little by little father trusts me, and makes me his companion, and, +let him be put out as he may, never once strikes me.' + +The listening boy gave a grunt here, as much as to say 'But he +strikes ME though!' + +'Those are some of the pictures of what is past, Charley.' + +'Cut away again,' said the boy, 'and give us a fortune-telling one; a +future one.' + +'Well! There am I, continuing with father and holding to father, +because father loves me and I love father. I can't so much as read a +book, because, if I had learned, father would have thought I was +deserting him, and I should have lost my influence. I have not the +influence I want to have, I cannot stop some dreadful things I try to +stop, but I go on in the hope and trust that the time will come. In +the meanwhile I know that I am in some things a stay to father, +and that if I was not faithful to him he would--in revenge-like, or in +disappointment, or both--go wild and bad.' + +'Give us a touch of the fortune-telling pictures about me.' + +'I was passing on to them, Charley,' said the girl, who had not +changed her attitude since she began, and who now mournfully +shook her head; 'the others were all leading up. There are you--' + +'Where am I, Liz?' + +'Still in the hollow down by the flare.' + +'There seems to be the deuce-and-all in the hollow down by the +flare,' said the boy, glancing from her eyes to the brazier, which +had a grisly skeleton look on its long thin legs. + +'There are you, Charley, working your way, in secret from father, at +the school; and you get prizes; and you go on better and better; and +you come to be a--what was it you called it when you told me +about that?' + +'Ha, ha! Fortune-telling not know the name!' cried the boy, +seeming to be rather relieved by this default on the part of the +hollow down by the flare. 'Pupil-teacher.' + +'You come to be a pupil-teacher, and you still go on better and +better, and you rise to be a master full of learning and respect. But +the secret has come to father's knowledge long before, and it has +divided you from father, and from me.' + +'No it hasn't!' + +'Yes it has, Charley. I see, as plain as plain can be, that your way +is not ours, and that even if father could be got to forgive your +taking it (which he never could be), that way of yours would be +darkened by our way. But I see too, Charley--' + +'Still as plain as plain can be, Liz?' asked the boy playfully. + +'Ah! Still. That it is a great work to have cut you away from +father's life, and to have made a new and good beginning. So there +am I, Charley, left alone with father, keeping him as straight as I +can, watching for more influence than I have, and hoping that +through some fortunate chance, or when he is ill, or when--I don't +know what--I may turn him to wish to do better things.' + +'You said you couldn't read a book, Lizzie. Your library of books +is the hollow down by the flare, I think.' + +'I should be very glad to be able to read real books. I feel my want +of learning very much, Charley. But I should feel it much more, if +I didn't know it to be a tie between me and father.--Hark! Father's +tread!' + +It being now past midnight, the bird of prey went straight to roost. +At mid-day following he reappeared at the Six Jolly Fellowship +Porters, in the character, not new to him, of a witness before a +Coroner's Jury. + +Mr Mortimer Lightwood, besides sustaining the character of one of +the witnesses, doubled the part with that of the eminent solicitor +who watched the proceedings on behalf of the representatives of +the deceased, as was duly recorded in the newspapers. Mr +Inspector watched the proceedings too, and kept his watching +closely to himself. Mr Julius Handford having given his right +address, and being reported in solvent circumstances as to his bill, +though nothing more was known of him at his hotel except that his +way of life was very retired, had no summons to appear, and was +merely present in the shades of Mr Inspector's mind. + +The case was made interesting to the public, by Mr Mortimer +Lightwood's evidence touching the circumstances under which the +deceased, Mr John Harmon, had returned to England; exclusive +private proprietorship in which circumstances was set up at dinner- +tables for several days, by Veneering, Twemlow, Podsnap, and all +the Buffers: who all related them irreconcilably with one another, +and contradicted themselves. It was also made interesting by the +testimony of Job Potterson, the ship's steward, and one Mr Jacob +Kibble, a fellow-passenger, that the deceased Mr John Harmon did +bring over, in a hand-valise with which he did disembark, the sum +realized by the forced sale of his little landed property, and that the +sum exceeded, in ready money, seven hundred pounds. It was +further made interesting, by the remarkable experiences of Jesse +Hexam in having rescued from the Thames so many dead bodies, +and for whose behoof a rapturous admirer subscribing himself 'A +friend to Burial' (perhaps an undertaker), sent eighteen postage +stamps, and five 'Now Sir's to the editor of the Times. + +Upon the evidence adduced before them, the Jury found, That the +body of Mr John Harmon had been discovered floating in the +Thames, in an advanced state of decay, and much injured; and that +the said Mr John Harmon had come by his death under highly +suspicious circumstances, though by whose act or in what precise +manner there was no evidence before this Jury to show. And they +appended to their verdict, a recommendation to the Home Office +(which Mr Inspector appeared to think highly sensible), to offer a +reward for the solution of the mystery. Within eight-and-forty +hours, a reward of One Hundred Pounds was proclaimed, together +with a free pardon to any person or persons not the actual +perpetrator or perpetrators, and so forth in due form. + +This Proclamation rendered Mr Inspector additionally studious, +and caused him to stand meditating on river-stairs and causeways, +and to go lurking about in boats, putting this and that together. +But, according to the success with which you put this and that +together, you get a woman and a fish apart, or a Mermaid in +combination. And Mr Inspector could turn out nothing better than +a Mermaid, which no Judge and Jury would believe in. + +Thus, like the tides on which it had been borne to the knowledge of +men, the Harmon Murder--as it came to be popularly called--went +up and down, and ebbed and flowed, now in the town, now in the +country, now among palaces, now among hovels, now among lords +and ladies and gentlefolks, now among labourers and hammerers +and ballast-heavers, until at last, after a long interval of slack +water it got out to sea and drifted away. + + + +Chapter 4 + +THE R. WILFER FAMILY + + +Reginald Wilfer is a name with rather a grand sound, suggesting +on first acquaintance brasses in country churches, scrolls in +stained-glass windows, and generally the De Wilfers who came +over with the Conqueror. For, it is a remarkable fact in genealogy +that no De Any ones ever came over with Anybody else. + +But, the Reginald Wilfer family were of such commonplace +extraction and pursuits that their forefathers had for generations +modestly subsisted on the Docks, the Excise Office, and the +Custom House, and the existing R. Wilfer was a poor clerk. So +poor a clerk, though having a limited salary and an unlimited +family, that he had never yet attained the modest object of his +ambition: which was, to wear a complete new suit of clothes, hat +and boots included, at one time. His black hat was brown before +he could afford a coat, his pantaloons were white at the seams and +knees before he could buy a pair of boots, his boots had worn out +before he could treat himself to new pantaloons, and, by the time +he worked round to the hat again, that shining modern article +roofed-in an ancient ruin of various periods. + +If the conventional Cherub could ever grow up and be clothed, he +might be photographed as a portrait of Wilfer. His chubby, +smooth, innocent appearance was a reason for his being always +treated with condescension when he was not put down. A stranger +entering his own poor house at about ten o'clock P.M. might have +been surprised to find him sitting up to supper. So boyish was he +in his curves and proportions, that his old schoolmaster meeting +him in Cheapside, might have been unable to withstand the +temptation of caning him on the spot. In short, he was the +conventional cherub, after the supposititious shoot just mentioned, +rather grey, with signs of care on his expression, and in decidedly +insolvent circumstances. + +He was shy, and unwilling to own to the name of Reginald, as +being too aspiring and self-assertive a name. In his signature he +used only the initial R., and imparted what it really stood for, to +none but chosen friends, under the seal of confidence. Out of this, +the facetious habit had arisen in the neighbourhood surrounding +Mincing Lane of making christian names for him of adjectives and +participles beginning with R. Some of these were more or less +appropriate: as Rusty, Retiring, Ruddy, Round, Ripe, Ridiculous, +Ruminative; others, derived their point from their want of +application: as Raging, Rattling, Roaring, Raffish. But, his +popular name was Rumty, which in a moment of inspiration had +been bestowed upon him by a gentleman of convivial habits +connected with the drug-markets, as the beginning of a social +chorus, his leading part in the execution of which had led this +gentleman to the Temple of Fame, and of which the whole +expressive burden ran: + + 'Rumty iddity, row dow dow, + Sing toodlely, teedlely, bow wow wow.' + +Thus he was constantly addressed, even in minor notes on +business, as 'Dear Rumty'; in answer to which, he sedately signed +himself, 'Yours truly, R. Wilfer.' + +He was clerk in the drug-house of Chicksey, Veneering, and +Stobbles. Chicksey and Stobbles, his former masters, had both +become absorbed in Veneering, once their traveller or commission +agent: who had signalized his accession to supreme power by +bringing into the business a quantity of plate-glass window and +French-polished mahogany partition, and a gleaming and +enormous doorplate. + +R. Wilfer locked up his desk one evening, and, putting his bunch +of keys in his pocket much as if it were his peg-top, made for +home. His home was in the Holloway region north of London, and +then divided from it by fields and trees. Between Battle Bridge +and that part of the Holloway district in which he dwelt, was a +tract of suburban Sahara, where tiles and bricks were burnt, bones +were boiled, carpets were beat, rubbish was shot, dogs were +fought, and dust was heaped by contractors. Skirting the border of +this desert, by the way he took, when the light of its kiln-fires made +lurid smears on the fog, R. Wilfer sighed and shook his head. + +'Ah me!' said he, 'what might have been is not what is!' + +With which commentary on human life, indicating an experience +of it not exclusively his own, he made the best of his way to the +end of his journey. + +Mrs Wilfer was, of course, a tall woman and an angular. Her lord +being cherubic, she was necessarily majestic, according to the +principle which matrimonially unites contrasts. She was much +given to tying up her head in a pocket-handkerchief, knotted under +the chin. This head-gear, in conjunction with a pair of gloves worn +within doors, she seemed to consider as at once a kind of armour +against misfortune (invariably assuming it when in low spirits or +difficulties), and as a species of full dress. It was therefore with +some sinking of the spirit that her husband beheld her thus +heroically attired, putting down her candle in the little hall, and +coming down the doorsteps through the little front court to open +the gate for him. + +Something had gone wrong with the house-door, for R. Wilfer +stopped on the steps, staring at it, and cried: + +'Hal-loa?' + +'Yes,' said Mrs Wilfer, 'the man came himself with a pair of +pincers, and took it off, and took it away. He said that as he had +no expectation of ever being paid for it, and as he had an order for +another LADIES' SCHOOL door-plate, it was better (burnished +up) for the interests of all parties.' + +'Perhaps it was, my dear; what do you think?' + +'You are master here, R. W.,' returned his wife. 'It is as you think; +not as I do. Perhaps it might have been better if the man had taken +the door too?' + +'My dear, we couldn't have done without the door.' + +'Couldn't we?' + +'Why, my dear! Could we?' + +'It is as you think, R. W.; not as I do.' With those submissive +words, the dutiful wife preceded him down a few stairs to a little +basement front room, half kitchen, half parlour, where a girl of +about nineteen, with an exceedingly pretty figure and face, but with +an impatient and petulant expression both in her face and in her +shoulders (which in her sex and at her age are very expressive of +discontent), sat playing draughts with a younger girl, who was the +youngest of the House of Wilfer. Not to encumber this page by +telling off the Wilfers in detail and casting them up in the gross, it +is enough for the present that the rest were what is called 'out in the +world,' in various ways, and that they were Many. So many, +that when one of his dutiful children called in to see him, R. Wilfer +generally seemed to say to himself, after a little mental arithmetic, +'Oh! here's another of 'em!' before adding aloud, 'How de do, John,' +or Susan, as the case might be. + +'Well Piggywiggies,' said R. W., 'how de do to-night? What I was +thinking of, my dear,' to Mrs Wilfer already seated in a corner with +folded gloves, 'was, that as we have let our first floor so well, and +as we have now no place in which you could teach pupils even if +pupils--' + +'The milkman said he knew of two young ladies of the highest +respectability who were in search of a suitable establishment, and +he took a card,' interposed Mrs Wilfer, with severe monotony, as if +she were reading an Act of Parliament aloud. 'Tell your father +whether it was last Monday, Bella.' + +'But we never heard any more of it, ma,' said Bella, the elder girl. + +'In addition to which, my dear,' her husband urged, 'if you have no +place to put two young persons into--' + +'Pardon me,' Mrs Wilfer again interposed; 'they were not young +persons. Two young ladies of the highest respectability. Tell your +father, Bella, whether the milkman said so.' + +'My dear, it is the same thing.' + +'No it is not,' said Mrs Wilfer, with the same impressive monotony. +'Pardon me!' + +'I mean, my dear, it is the same thing as to space. As to space. If +you have no space in which to put two youthful fellow-creatures, +however eminently respectable, which I do not doubt, where are +those youthful fellow-creatures to be accommodated? I carry it no +further than that. And solely looking at it,' said her husband, +making the stipulation at once in a conciliatory, complimentary, +and argumentative tone--'as I am sure you will agree, my love-- +from a fellow-creature point of view, my dear.' + +'I have nothing more to say,' returned Mrs Wilfer, with a meek +renunciatory action of her gloves. 'It is as you think, R. W.; +not as I do.' + +Here, the huffing of Miss Bella and the loss of three of her men at a +swoop, aggravated by the coronation of an opponent, led to that +young lady's jerking the draught-board and pieces off the table: +which her sister went down on her knees to pick up. + +'Poor Bella!' said Mrs Wilfer. + +'And poor Lavinia, perhaps, my dear?' suggested R. W. + +'Pardon me,' said Mrs Wilfer, 'no!' + +It was one of the worthy woman's specialities that she had an +amazing power of gratifying her splenetic or worldly-minded +humours by extolling her own family: which she thus proceeded, in +the present case, to do. + +'No, R. W. Lavinia has not known the trial that Bella has known. +The trial that your daughter Bella has undergone, is, perhaps, +without a parallel, and has been borne, I will say, Nobly. When +you see your daughter Bella in her black dress, which she alone of +all the family wears, and when you remember the circumstances +which have led to her wearing it, and when you know how those +circumstances have been sustained, then, R. W., lay your head +upon your pillow and say, "Poor Lavinia!"' + +Here, Miss Lavinia, from her kneeling situation under the table, +put in that she didn't want to be 'poored by pa', or anybody else. + +'I am sure you do not, my dear,' returned her mother, 'for you have +a fine brave spirit. And your sister Cecilia has a fine brave spirit of +another kind, a spirit of pure devotion, a beau-ti-ful spirit! The +self-sacrifice of Cecilia reveals a pure and womanly character, very +seldom equalled, never surpassed. I have now in my pocket a +letter from your sister Cecilia, received this morning--received +three months after her marriage, poor child!--in which she tells me +that her husband must unexpectedly shelter under their roof his +reduced aunt. "But I will be true to him, mamma," she touchingly +writes, "I will not leave him, I must not forget that he is my +husband. Let his aunt come!" If this is not pathetic, if this is not +woman's devotion--!' The good lady waved her gloves in a sense +of the impossibility of saying more, and tied the pocket- +handkerchief over her head in a tighter knot under her chin. + +Bella, who was now seated on the rug to warm herself, with her +brown eyes on the fire and a handful of her brown curls in her +mouth, laughed at this, and then pouted and half cried. + +'I am sure,' said she, 'though you have no feeling for me, pa, I am +one of the most unfortunate girls that ever lived. You know how +poor we are' (it is probable he did, having some reason to know +it!), 'and what a glimpse of wealth I had, and how it melted away, +and how I am here in this ridiculous mourning--which I hate!--a +kind of a widow who never was married. And yet you don't feel +for me.--Yes you do, yes you do.' + +This abrupt change was occasioned by her father's face. She +stopped to pull him down from his chair in an attitude highly +favourable to strangulation, and to give him a kiss and a pat or two +on the cheek. + +'But you ought to feel for me, you know, pa.' + +'My dear, I do.' + +'Yes, and I say you ought to. If they had only left me alone and +told me nothing about it, it would have mattered much less. But +that nasty Mr Lightwood feels it his duty, as he says, to write and +tell me what is in reserve for me, and then I am obliged to get rid +of George Sampson.' + +Here, Lavinia, rising to the surface with the last draughtman +rescued, interposed, 'You never cared for George Sampson, Bella.' + +'And did I say I did, miss?' Then, pouting again, with the curls in +her mouth; 'George Sampson was very fond of me, and admired me +very much, and put up with everything I did to him.' + +'You were rude enough to him,' Lavinia again interposed. + +'And did I say I wasn't, miss? I am not setting up to be sentimental +about George Sampson. I only say George Sampson was better +than nothing.' + +'You didn't show him that you thought even that,' Lavinia again +interposed. + +'You are a chit and a little idiot,' returned Bella, 'or you wouldn't +make such a dolly speech. What did you expect me to do? Wait +till you are a woman, and don't talk about what you don't +understand. You only show your ignorance!' Then, whimpering +again, and at intervals biting the curls, and stopping to look how +much was bitten off, 'It's a shame! There never was such a hard +case! I shouldn't care so much if it wasn't so ridiculous. It was +ridiculous enough to have a stranger coming over to marry me, +whether he liked it or not. It was ridiculous enough to know what +an embarrassing meeting it would be, and how we never could +pretend to have an inclination of our own, either of us. It was +ridiculous enough to know I shouldn't like him--how COULD I +like him, left to him in a will, like a dozen of spoons, with +everything cut and dried beforehand, like orange chips. Talk of +orange flowers indeed! I declare again it's a shame! Those +ridiculous points would have been smoothed away by the money, +for I love money, and want money--want it dreadfully. I hate to be +poor, and we are degradingly poor, offensively poor, miserably +poor, beastly poor. But here I am, left with all the ridiculous parts +of the situation remaining, and, added to them all, this ridiculous +dress! And if the truth was known, when the Harmon murder was +all over the town, and people were speculating on its being suicide, +I dare say those impudent wretches at the clubs and places made +jokes about the miserable creature's having preferred a watery +grave to me. It's likely enough they took such liberties; I shouldn't +wonder! I declare it's a very hard case indeed, and I am a most +unfortunate girl. The idea of being a kind of a widow, and never +having been married! And the idea of being as poor as ever after +all, and going into black, besides, for a man I never saw, and +should have hated--as far as HE was concerned--if I had seen!' + +The young lady's lamentations were checked at this point by a +knuckle, knocking at the half-open door of the room. The knuckle +had knocked two or three times already, but had not been heard. + +'Who is it?' said Mrs Wilfer, in her Act-of-Parliament manner. +'Enter!' + +A gentleman coming in, Miss Bella, with a short and sharp +exclamation, scrambled off the hearth-rug and massed the bitten +curls together in their right place on her neck. + +'The servant girl had her key in the door as I came up, and directed +me to this room, telling me I was expected. I am afraid I should +have asked her to announce me.' + +'Pardon me,' returned Mrs Wilfer. 'Not at all. Two of my +daughters. R. W., this is the gentleman who has taken your first- +floor. He was so good as to make an appointment for to-night, +when you would be at home.' + +A dark gentleman. Thirty at the utmost. An expressive, one might +say handsome, face. A very bad manner. In the last degree +constrained, reserved, diffident, troubled. His eyes were on Miss +Bella for an instant, and then looked at the ground as he addressed +the master of the house. + +'Seeing that I am quite satisfied, Mr Wilfer, with the rooms, and +with their situation, and with their price, I suppose a memorandum +between us of two or three lines, and a payment down, will bind +the bargain? I wish to send in furniture without delay.' + +Two or three times during this short address, the cherub addressed +had made chubby motions towards a chair. The gentleman now +took it, laying a hesitating hand on a corner of the table, and with +another hesitating hand lifting the crown of his hat to his lips, and +drawing it before his mouth. + +'The gentleman, R. W.,' said Mrs Wilfer, 'proposes to take your +apartments by the quarter. A quarter's notice on either side.' + +'Shall I mention, sir,' insinuated the landlord, expecting it to be +received as a matter of course, 'the form of a reference?' + +'I think,' returned the gentleman, after a pause, 'that a reference is +not necessary; neither, to say the truth, is it convenient, for I am a +stranger in London. I require no reference from you, and perhaps, +therefore, you will require none from me. That will be fair on both +sides. Indeed, I show the greater confidence of the two, for I will +pay in advance whatever you please, and I am going to trust my +furniture here. Whereas, if you were in embarrassed +circumstances--this is merely supposititious--' + +Conscience causing R. Wilfer to colour, Mrs Wilfer, from a corner +(she always got into stately corners) came to the rescue with a +deep-toned 'Per-fectly.' + +'--Why then I--might lose it.' + +'Well!' observed R. Wilfer, cheerfully, 'money and goods are +certainly the best of references.' + +'Do you think they ARE the best, pa?' asked Miss Bella, in a low +voice, and without looking over her shoulder as she warmed her +foot on the fender. + +'Among the best, my dear.' + +'I should have thought, myself, it was so easy to add the usual kind +of one,' said Bella, with a toss of her curls. + +The gentleman listened to her, with a face of marked attention, +though he neither looked up nor changed his attitude. He sat, still +and silent, until his future landlord accepted his proposals, and +brought writing materials to complete the business. He sat, still +and silent, while the landlord wrote. + +When the agreement was ready in duplicate (the landlord having +worked at it like some cherubic scribe, in what is conventionally +called a doubtful, which means a not at all doubtful, Old Master), +it was signed by the contracting parties, Bella looking on as +scornful witness. The contracting parties were R. Wilfer, and John +Rokesmith Esquire. + +When it came to Bella's turn to sign her name, Mr Rokesmith, who +was standing, as he had sat, with a hesitating hand upon the table, +looked at her stealthily, but narrowly. He looked at the pretty +figure bending down over the paper and saying, 'Where am I to go, +pa? Here, in this corner?' He looked at the beautiful brown hair, +shading the coquettish face; he looked at the free dash of the +signature, which was a bold one for a woman's; and then they +looked at one another. + +'Much obliged to you, Miss Wilfer.' + +'Obliged?' + +'I have given you so much trouble.' + +'Signing my name? Yes, certainly. But I am your landlord's +daughter, sir.' + +As there was nothing more to do but pay eight sovereigns in +earnest of the bargain, pocket the agreement, appoint a time for the +arrival of his furniture and himself, and go, Mr Rokesmith did that +as awkwardly as it might be done, and was escorted by his +landlord to the outer air. When R. Wilfer returned, candlestick in +hand, to the bosom of his family, he found the bosom agitated. + +'Pa,' said Bella, 'we have got a Murderer for a tenant.' + +'Pa,' said Lavinia, 'we have got a Robber.' + +'To see him unable for his life to look anybody in the face!' said +Bella. 'There never was such an exhibition.' + +'My dears,' said their father, 'he is a diffident gentleman, and I +should say particularly so in the society of girls of your age.' + +'Nonsense, our age!' cried Bella, impatiently. 'What's that got to do +with him?' + +'Besides, we are not of the same age:--which age?' demanded +Lavinia. + +'Never YOU mind, Lavvy,' retorted Bella; 'you wait till you are of +an age to ask such questions. Pa, mark my words! Between Mr +Rokesmith and me, there is a natural antipathy and a deep distrust; +and something will come of it!' + +'My dear, and girls,' said the cherub-patriarch, 'between Mr +Rokesmith and me, there is a matter of eight sovereigns, and +something for supper shall come of it, if you'll agree upon the +article.' + +This was a neat and happy turn to give the subject, treats being +rare in the Wilfer household, where a monotonous appearance of +Dutch-cheese at ten o'clock in the evening had been rather +frequently commented on by the dimpled shoulders of Miss Bella. +Indeed, the modest Dutchman himself seemed conscious of his +want of variety, and generally came before the family in a state of +apologetic perspiration. After some discussion on the relative +merits of veal-cutlet, sweetbread, and lobster, a decision was +pronounced in favour of veal-cutlet. Mrs Wilfer then solemnly +divested herself of her handkerchief and gloves, as a preliminary +sacrifice to preparing the frying-pan, and R. W. himself went out to +purchase the viand. He soon returned, bearing the same in a fresh +cabbage-leaf, where it coyly embraced a rasher of ham. Melodious +sounds were not long in rising from the frying-pan on the fire, or in +seeming, as the firelight danced in the mellow halls of a couple of +full bottles on the table, to play appropriate dance-music. + +The cloth was laid by Lavvy. Bella, as the acknowledged +ornament of the family, employed both her hands in giving her hair +an additional wave while sitting in the easiest chair, and +occasionally threw in a direction touching the supper: as, 'Very +brown, ma;' or, to her sister, 'Put the saltcellar straight, miss, and +don't be a dowdy little puss.' + +Meantime her father, chinking Mr Rokesmith's gold as he sat +expectant between his knife and fork, remarked that six of those +sovereigns came just in time for their landlord, and stood them in a +little pile on the white tablecloth to look at. + +'I hate our landlord!' said Bella. + +But, observing a fall in her father's face, she went and sat down by +him at the table, and began touching up his hair with the handle of +a fork. It was one of the girl's spoilt ways to be always arranging +the family's hair--perhaps because her own was so pretty, and +occupied so much of her attention. + +'You deserve to have a house of your own; don't you, poor pa?' + +'I don't deserve it better than another, my dear.' + +'At any rate I, for one, want it more than another,' said Bella, +holding him by the chin, as she stuck his flaxen hair on end, 'and I +grudge this money going to the Monster that swallows up so much, +when we all want--Everything. And if you say (as you want to say; +I know you want to say so, pa) "that's neither reasonable nor +honest, Bella," then I answer, "Maybe not, pa--very likely--but it's +one of the consequences of being poor, and of thoroughly hating +and detesting to be poor, and that's my case." Now, you look +lovely, pa; why don't you always wear your hair like that? And +here's the cutlet! If it isn't very brown, ma, I can't eat it, and must +have a bit put back to be done expressly.' + +However, as it was brown, even to Bella's taste, the young lady +graciously partook of it without reconsignment to the frying-pan, +and also, in due course, of the contents of the two bottles: whereof +one held Scotch ale and the other rum. The latter perfume, with +the fostering aid of boiling water and lemon-peel, diffused itself +throughout the room, and became so highly concentrated around +the warm fireside, that the wind passing over the house roof must +have rushed off charged with a delicious whiff of it, after buzzing +like a great bee at that particular chimneypot. + +'Pa,' said Bella, sipping the fragrant mixture and warming her +favourite ankle; 'when old Mr Harmon made such a fool of me (not +to mention himself, as he is dead), what do you suppose he did it +for?' + +'Impossible to say, my dear. As I have told you time out of number +since his will was brought to light, I doubt if I ever exchanged a +hundred words with the old gentleman. If it was his whim to +surprise us, his whim succeeded. For he certainly did it.' + +'And I was stamping my foot and screaming, when he first took +notice of me; was I?' said Bella, contemplating the ankle before +mentioned. + +'You were stamping your little foot, my dear, and screaming with +your little voice, and laying into me with your little bonnet, which +you had snatched off for the purpose,' returned her father, as if the +remembrance gave a relish to the rum; 'you were doing this one +Sunday morning when I took you out, because I didn't go the exact +way you wanted, when the old gentleman, sitting on a seat near, +said, "That's a nice girl; that's a VERY nice girl; a promising girl!" +And so you were, my dear.' + +'And then he asked my name, did he, pa?' + +'Then he asked your name, my dear, and mine; and on other +Sunday mornings, when we walked his way, we saw him again, +and--and really that's all.' + +As that was all the rum and water too, or, in other words, as R. W. +delicately signified that his glass was empty, by throwing back his +head and standing the glass upside down on his nose and upper +lip, it might have been charitable in Mrs Wilfer to suggest +replenishment. But that heroine briefly suggesting 'Bedtime' +instead, the bottles were put away, and the family retired; she +cherubically escorted, like some severe saint in a painting, or +merely human matron allegorically treated. + +'And by this time to-morrow,' said Lavinia when the two girls were +alone in their room, 'we shall have Mr Rokesmith here, and shall +be expecting to have our throats cut.' + +'You needn't stand between me and the candle for all that,' retorted +Bella. 'This is another of the consequences of being poor! The +idea of a girl with a really fine head of hair, having to do it by one +flat candle and a few inches of looking-glass!' + +'You caught George Sampson with it, Bella, bad as your means of +dressing it are.' + +'You low little thing. Caught George Sampson with it! Don't talk +about catching people, miss, till your own time for catching--as +you call it--comes.' + +'Perhaps it has come,' muttered Lavvy, with a toss of her head. + +'What did you say?' asked Bella, very sharply. 'What did you say, +miss?' + +Lavvy declining equally to repeat or to explain, Bella gradually +lapsed over her hair-dressing into a soliloquy on the miseries of +being poor, as exemplified in having nothing to put on, nothing to +go out in, nothing to dress by, only a nasty box to dress at instead +of a commodious dressing-table, and being obliged to take in +suspicious lodgers. On the last grievance as her climax, she laid +great stress--and might have laid greater, had she known that if Mr +Julius Handford had a twin brother upon earth, Mr John +Rokesmith was the man. + + + +Chapter 5 + +BOFFIN'S BOWER + + +Over against a London house, a corner house not far from +Cavendish Square, a man with a wooden leg had sat for some years, +with his remaining foot in a basket in cold weather, picking +up a living on this wise:--Every morning at eight o'clock, he +stumped to the corner, carrying a chair, a clothes-horse, a pair of +trestles, a board, a basket, and an umbrella, all strapped together. +Separating these, the board and trestles became a counter, the +basket supplied the few small lots of fruit and sweets that he +offered for sale upon it and became a foot-warmer, the unfolded +clothes-horse displayed a choice collection of halfpenny ballads +and became a screen, and the stool planted within it became his +post for the rest of the day. All weathers saw the man at the post. +This is to be accepted in a double sense, for he contrived a back to +his wooden stool, by placing it against the lamp-post. When the +weather was wet, he put up his umbrella over his stock in trade, +not over himself; when the weather was dry, he furled that faded +article, tied it round with a piece of yarn, and laid it cross-wise +under the trestles: where it looked like an unwholesomely-forced +lettuce that had lost in colour and crispness what it had gained in +size. + +He had established his right to the corner, by imperceptible +prescription. He had never varied his ground an inch, but had in +the beginning diffidently taken the corner upon which the side of +the house gave. A howling corner in the winter time, a dusty +corner in the summer time, an undesirable corner at the best of +times. Shelterless fragments of straw and paper got up revolving +storms there, when the main street was at peace; and the water- +cart, as if it were drunk or short-sighted, came blundering and +jolting round it, making it muddy when all else was clean. + +On the front of his sale-board hung a little placard, like a kettle- +holder, bearing the inscription in his own small text: + + Errands gone + On with fi + Delity By + Ladies and Gentlemen + I remain + Your humble Servt: + Silas Wegg + +He had not only settled it with himself in course of time, that he +was errand-goer by appointment to the house at the corner (though +he received such commissions not half a dozen times in a year, and +then only as some servant's deputy), but also that he was one of the +house's retainers and owed vassalage to it and was bound to leal +and loyal interest in it. For this reason, he always spoke of it as +'Our House,' and, though his knowledge of its affairs was mostly +speculative and all wrong, claimed to be in its confidence. On +similar grounds he never beheld an inmate at any one of its +windows but he touched his hat. Yet, he knew so little about the +inmates that he gave them names of his own invention: as 'Miss +Elizabeth', 'Master George', 'Aunt Jane', 'Uncle Parker '--having no +authority whatever for any such designations, but particularly the +last--to which, as a natural consequence, he stuck with great obstinacy. + +Over the house itself, he exercised the same imaginary power as +over its inhabitants and their affairs. He had never been in it, the +length of a piece of fat black water-pipe which trailed itself over +the area-door into a damp stone passage, and had rather the air of a +leech on the house that had 'taken' wonderfully; but this was no +impediment to his arranging it according to a plan of his own. It +was a great dingy house with a quantity of dim side window and +blank back premises, and it cost his mind a world of trouble so to +lay it out as to account for everything in its external appearance. +But, this once done, was quite satisfactory, and he rested +persuaded, that he knew his way about the house blindfold: from +the barred garrets in the high roof, to the two iron extinguishers +before the main door--which seemed to request all lively visitors to +have the kindness to put themselves out, before entering. + +Assuredly, this stall of Silas Wegg's was the hardest little stall of +all the sterile little stalls in London. It gave you the face-ache to +look at his apples, the stomach-ache to look at his oranges, the +tooth-ache to look at his nuts. Of the latter commodity he had +always a grim little heap, on which lay a little wooden measure +which had no discernible inside, and was considered to represent +the penn'orth appointed by Magna Charta. Whether from too +much east wind or no--it was an easterly corner--the stall, the +stock, and the keeper, were all as dry as the Desert. Wegg was a +knotty man, and a close-grained, with a face carved out of very +hard material, that had just as much play of expression as a +watchman's rattle. When he laughed, certain jerks occurred in it, +and the rattle sprung. Sooth to say, he was so wooden a man that +he seemed to have taken his wooden leg naturally, and rather +suggested to the fanciful observer, that he might be expected--if his +development received no untimely check--to be completely set up +with a pair of wooden legs in about six months. + +Mr Wegg was an observant person, or, as he himself said, 'took a +powerful sight of notice'. He saluted all his regular passers-by +every day, as he sat on his stool backed up by the lamp-post; and +on the adaptable character of these salutes he greatly plumed +himself. Thus, to the rector, he addressed a bow, compounded of +lay deference, and a slight touch of the shady preliminary +meditation at church; to the doctor, a confidential bow, as to a +gentleman whose acquaintance with his inside he begged +respectfully to acknowledge; before the Quality he delighted to +abase himself; and for Uncle Parker, who was in the army (at least, +so he had settled it), he put his open hand to the side of his hat, +in a military manner which that angry-eyed buttoned-up +inflammatory-faced old gentleman appeared but imperfectly to +appreciate. + +The only article in which Silas dealt, that was not hard, was +gingerbread. On a certain day, some wretched infant having +purchased the damp gingerbread-horse (fearfully out of condition), +and the adhesive bird-cage, which had been exposed for the day's sale, +he had taken a tin box from under his stool to produce a relay +of those dreadful specimens, and was going to look in at the lid, +when he said to himself, pausing: 'Oh! Here you are again!' + +The words referred to a broad, round-shouldered, one-sided old +fellow in mourning, coming comically ambling towards the corner, +dressed in a pea over-coat, and carrying a large stick. He wore +thick shoes, and thick leather gaiters, and thick gloves like a +hedger's. Both as to his dress and to himself, he was of an +overlapping rhinoceros build, with folds in his cheeks, and his +forehead, and his eyelids, and his lips, and his ears; but with +bright, eager, childishly-inquiring, grey eyes, under his ragged +eyebrows, and broad-brimmed hat. A very odd-looking old fellow +altogether. + +'Here you are again,' repeated Mr Wegg, musing. 'And what are +you now? Are you in the Funns, or where are you? Have you +lately come to settle in this neighbourhood, or do you own to +another neighbourhood? Are you in independent circumstances, or +is it wasting the motions of a bow on you? Come! I'll speculate! +I'll invest a bow in you.' + +Which Mr Wegg, having replaced his tin box, accordingly did, as +he rose to bait his gingerbread-trap for some other devoted infant. +The salute was acknowledged with: + +'Morning, sir! Morning! Morning!' + +('Calls me Sir!' said Mr Wegg, to himself; 'HE won't answer. A +bow gone!') + +'Morning, morning, morning!' + +'Appears to be rather a 'arty old cock, too,' said Mr Wegg, as +before; 'Good morning to YOU, sir.' + +'Do you remember me, then?' asked his new acquaintance, +stopping in his amble, one-sided, before the stall, and speaking in +a pounding way, though with great good-humour. + +'I have noticed you go past our house, sir, several times in the +course of the last week or so.' + +'Our house,' repeated the other. 'Meaning--?' + +'Yes,' said Mr Wegg, nodding, as the other pointed the clumsy +forefinger of his right glove at the corner house. + +'Oh! Now, what,' pursued the old fellow, in an inquisitive manner, +carrying his knotted stick in his left arm as if it were a baby, 'what +do they allow you now?' + +'It's job work that I do for our house,' returned Silas, drily, and with +reticence; 'it's not yet brought to an exact allowance.' + +'Oh! It's not yet brought to an exact allowance? No! It's not yet +brought to an exact allowance. Oh!--Morning, morning, morning!' + +'Appears to be rather a cracked old cock,' thought Silas, qualifying +his former good opinion, as the other ambled off. But, in a +moment he was back again with the question: + +'How did you get your wooden leg?' + +Mr Wegg replied, (tartly to this personal inquiry), 'In an accident.' + +'Do you like it?' + +'Well! I haven't got to keep it warm,' Mr Wegg made answer, in a +sort of desperation occasioned by the singularity of the question. + +'He hasn't,' repeated the other to his knotted stick, as he gave it a +hug; 'he hasn't got--ha!--ha!--to keep it warm! Did you ever hear of +the name of Boffin?' + +'No,' said Mr Wegg, who was growing restive under this +examination. 'I never did hear of the name of Boffin.' + +'Do you like it?' + +'Why, no,' retorted Mr Wegg, again approaching desperation; 'I +can't say I do.' + +'Why don't you like it?' + +'I don't know why I don't,' retorted Mr Wegg, approaching frenzy, +'but I don't at all.' + +'Now, I'll tell you something that'll make you sorry for that,' said +the stranger, smiling. 'My name's Boffin.' + +'I can't help it!' returned Mr Wegg. Implying in his manner the +offensive addition, 'and if I could, I wouldn't.' + +'But there's another chance for you,' said Mr Boffin, smiling still, +'Do you like the name of Nicodemus? Think it over. Nick, or +Noddy.' + +'It is not, sir,' Mr Wegg rejoined, as he sat down on his stool, with +an air of gentle resignation, combined with melancholy candour; it +is not a name as I could wish any one that I had a respect for, to +call ME by; but there may be persons that would not view it with +the same objections.--I don't know why,' Mr Wegg added, +anticipating another question. + +'Noddy Boffin,' said that gentleman. 'Noddy. That's my name. +Noddy--or Nick--Boffin. What's your name?' + +'Silas Wegg.--I don't,' said Mr Wegg, bestirring himself to take the +same precaution as before, 'I don't know why Silas, and I don't +know why Wegg.' + +'Now, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, hugging his stick closer, 'I want to +make a sort of offer to you. Do you remember when you first see +me?' + +The wooden Wegg looked at him with a meditative eye, and also +with a softened air as descrying possibility of profit. 'Let me think. +I ain't quite sure, and yet I generally take a powerful sight of +notice, too. Was it on a Monday morning, when the butcher-boy +had been to our house for orders, and bought a ballad of me, +which, being unacquainted with the tune, I run it over to him?' + +'Right, Wegg, right! But he bought more than one.' + +'Yes, to be sure, sir; he bought several; and wishing to lay out his +money to the best, he took my opinion to guide his choice, and we +went over the collection together. To be sure we did. Here was +him as it might be, and here was myself as it might be, and there +was you, Mr Boffin, as you identically are, with your self-same +stick under your very same arm, and your very same back towards +us. To--be--sure!' added Mr Wegg, looking a little round Mr +Boffin, to take him in the rear, and identify this last extraordinary +coincidence, 'your wery self-same back!' + +'What do you think I was doing, Wegg?' + +'I should judge, sir, that you might be glancing your eye down the +street.' + +'No, Wegg. I was a listening.' + +'Was you, indeed?' said Mr Wegg, dubiously. + +'Not in a dishonourable way, Wegg, because you was singing to +the butcher; and you wouldn't sing secrets to a butcher in the +street, you know.' + +'It never happened that I did so yet, to the best of my +remembrance,' said Mr Wegg, cautiously. 'But I might do it. A +man can't say what he might wish to do some day or another.' +(This, not to release any little advantage he might derive from Mr +Boffin's avowal.) + +'Well,' repeated Boffin, 'I was a listening to you and to him. And +what do you--you haven't got another stool, have you? I'm rather +thick in my breath.' + +'I haven't got another, but you're welcome to this,' said Wegg, +resigning it. 'It's a treat to me to stand.' + +'Lard!' exclaimed Mr Boffin, in a tone of great enjoyment, as he +settled himself down, still nursing his stick like a baby, 'it's a +pleasant place, this! And then to be shut in on each side, with +these ballads, like so many book-leaf blinkers! Why, its +delightful!' + +'If I am not mistaken, sir,' Mr Wegg delicately hinted, resting a +hand on his stall, and bending over the discursive Boffin, 'you +alluded to some offer or another that was in your mind?' + +'I'm coming to it! All right. I'm coming to it! I was going to say +that when I listened that morning, I listened with hadmiration +amounting to haw. I thought to myself, "Here's a man with a +wooden leg--a literary man with--"' + +'N--not exactly so, sir,' said Mr Wegg. + +'Why, you know every one of these songs by name and by tune, +and if you want to read or to sing any one on 'em off straight, +you've only to whip on your spectacles and do it!' cried Mr Boffin. +'I see you at it!' + +'Well, sir,' returned Mr Wegg, with a conscious inclination of the +head; 'we'll say literary, then.' + +'"A literary man--WITH a wooden leg--and all Print is open to +him!" That's what I thought to myself, that morning,' pursued Mr +Boffin, leaning forward to describe, uncramped by the +clotheshorse, as large an arc as his right arm could make; '"all +Print is open to him!" And it is, ain't it?' + +'Why, truly, sir,' Mr Wegg admitted, with modesty; 'I believe you +couldn't show me the piece of English print, that I wouldn't be +equal to collaring and throwing.' + +'On the spot?' said Mr Boffin. + +'On the spot.' + +'I know'd it! Then consider this. Here am I, a man without a +wooden leg, and yet all print is shut to me.' + +'Indeed, sir?' Mr Wegg returned with increasing self-complacency. +'Education neglected?' + +'Neg--lected!' repeated Boffin, with emphasis. 'That ain't no word +for it. I don't mean to say but what if you showed me a B, I could +so far give you change for it, as to answer Boffin.' + +'Come, come, sir,' said Mr Wegg, throwing in a little +encouragement, 'that's something, too.' + +'It's something,' answered Mr Boffin, 'but I'll take my oath it ain't +much.' + +'Perhaps it's not as much as could be wished by an inquiring mind, +sir,' Mr Wegg admitted. + +'Now, look here. I'm retired from business. Me and Mrs Boffin-- +Henerietty Boffin--which her father's name was Henery, and her +mother's name was Hetty, and so you get it--we live on a +compittance, under the will of a diseased governor.' + +'Gentleman dead, sir?' + +'Man alive, don't I tell you? A diseased governor? Now, it's too +late for me to begin shovelling and sifting at alphabeds and +grammar-books. I'm getting to be a old bird, and I want to take it +easy. But I want some reading--some fine bold reading, some +splendid book in a gorging Lord-Mayor's-Show of wollumes' +(probably meaning gorgeous, but misled by association of ideas); +'as'll reach right down your pint of view, and take time to go by +you. How can I get that reading, Wegg? By,' tapping him on the +breast with the head of his thick stick, 'paying a man truly qualified +to do it, so much an hour (say twopence) to come and do it.' + +'Hem! Flattered, sir, I am sure,' said Wegg, beginning to regard +himself in quite a new light. 'Hew! This is the offer you +mentioned, sir?' + +'Yes. Do you like it?' + +'I am considering of it, Mr Boffin.' + +'I don't,' said Boffin, in a free-handed manner, 'want to tie a literary +man--WITH a wooden leg--down too tight. A halfpenny an hour +shan't part us. The hours are your own to choose, after you've done +for the day with your house here. I live over Maiden-Lane way-- +out Holloway direction--and you've only got to go East-and-by- +North when you've finished here, and you're there. Twopence +halfpenny an hour,' said Boffin, taking a piece of chalk from his +pocket and getting off the stool to work the sum on the top of it in +his own way; 'two long'uns and a short'un--twopence halfpenny; +two short'uns is a long'un and two two long'uns is four long'uns-- +making five long'uns; six nights a week at five long'uns a night,' +scoring them all down separately, 'and you mount up to thirty +long'uns. A round'un! Half a crown!' + +Pointing to this result as a large and satisfactory one, Mr Boffin +smeared it out with his moistened glove, and sat down on the +remains. + +'Half a crown,' said Wegg, meditating. 'Yes. (It ain't much, sir.) +Half a crown.' + +'Per week, you know.' + +'Per week. Yes. As to the amount of strain upon the intellect now. +Was you thinking at all of poetry?' Mr Wegg inquired, musing. + +'Would it come dearer?' Mr Boffin asked. + +'It would come dearer,' Mr Wegg returned. 'For when a person +comes to grind off poetry night after night, it is but right he should +expect to be paid for its weakening effect on his mind.' + +'To tell you the truth Wegg,' said Boffin, 'I wasn't thinking of +poetry, except in so fur as this:--If you was to happen now and then +to feel yourself in the mind to tip me and Mrs Boffin one of your +ballads, why then we should drop into poetry.' + +'I follow you, sir,' said Wegg. 'But not being a regular musical +professional, I should be loath to engage myself for that; and +therefore when I dropped into poetry, I should ask to be considered +so fur, in the light of a friend.' + +At this, Mr Boffin's eyes sparkled, and he shook Silas earnestly by +the hand: protesting that it was more than he could have asked, +and that he took it very kindly indeed. + +'What do you think of the terms, Wegg?' Mr Boffin then +demanded, with unconcealed anxiety. + +Silas, who had stimulated this anxiety by his hard reserve of +manner, and who had begun to understand his man very well, +replied with an air; as if he were saying something extraordinarily +generous and great: + +'Mr Boffin, I never bargain.' + +'So I should have thought of you!' said Mr Boffin, admiringly. 'No, +sir. I never did 'aggle and I never will 'aggle. Consequently I meet +you at once, free and fair, with--Done, for double the money!' + +Mr Boffin seemed a little unprepared for this conclusion, but +assented, with the remark, 'You know better what it ought to be +than I do, Wegg,' and again shook hands with him upon it. + +'Could you begin to night, Wegg?' he then demanded. + +'Yes, sir,' said Mr Wegg, careful to leave all the eagerness to him. +'I see no difficulty if you wish it. You are provided with the +needful implement--a book, sir?' + +'Bought him at a sale,' said Mr Boffin. 'Eight wollumes. Red and +gold. Purple ribbon in every wollume, to keep the place where you +leave off. Do you know him?' + +'The book's name, sir?' inquired Silas. + +'I thought you might have know'd him without it,' said Mr Boffin +slightly disappointed. 'His name is Decline-And-Fall-Off-The- +Rooshan-Empire.' (Mr Boffin went over these stones slowly and +with much caution.) + +'Ay indeed!' said Mr Wegg, nodding his head with an air of +friendly recognition. + +'You know him, Wegg?' + +'I haven't been not to say right slap through him, very lately,' Mr +Wegg made answer, 'having been otherways employed, Mr Boffin. +But know him? Old familiar declining and falling off the +Rooshan? Rather, sir! Ever since I was not so high as your stick. +Ever since my eldest brother left our cottage to enlist into the army. +On which occasion, as the ballad that was made about it describes: + + 'Beside that cottage door, Mr Boffin, + A girl was on her knees; + She held aloft a snowy scarf, Sir, + Which (my eldest brother noticed) fluttered in the breeze. + She breathed a prayer for him, Mr Boffin; + A prayer he coold not hear. + And my eldest brother lean'd upon his sword, Mr Boffin, + And wiped away a tear.' + +Much impressed by this family circumstance, and also by the +friendly disposition of Mr Wegg, as exemplified in his so soon +dropping into poetry, Mr Boffin again shook hands with that +ligneous sharper, and besought him to name his hour. Mr Wegg +named eight. + +'Where I live,' said Mr Boffin, 'is called The Bower. Boffin's +Bower is the name Mrs Boffin christened it when we come into it +as a property. If you should meet with anybody that don't know it +by that name (which hardly anybody does), when you've got nigh +upon about a odd mile, or say and a quarter if you like, up Maiden +Lane, Battle Bridge, ask for Harmony Jail, and you'll be put right. +I shall expect you, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, clapping him on the +shoulder with the greatest enthusiasm, 'most joyfully. I shall have +no peace or patience till you come. Print is now opening ahead of +me. This night, a literary man--WITH a wooden leg--' he +bestowed an admiring look upon that decoration, as if it greatly +enhanced the relish of Mr Wegg's attainments--'will begin to lead +me a new life! My fist again, Wegg. Morning, morning, morning!' + +Left alone at his stall as the other ambled off, Mr Wegg subsided +into his screen, produced a small pocket-handkerchief of a +penitentially-scrubbing character, and took himself by the nose +with a thoughtful aspect. Also, while he still grasped that feature, +he directed several thoughtful looks down the street, after the +retiring figure of Mr Boffin. But, profound gravity sat enthroned +on Wegg's countenance. For, while he considered within himself +that this was an old fellow of rare simplicity, that this was an +opportunity to be improved, and that here might be money to be +got beyond present calculation, still he compromised himself by no +admission that his new engagement was at all out of his way, or +involved the least element of the ridiculous. Mr Wegg would even +have picked a handsome quarrel with any one who should have +challenged his deep acquaintance with those aforesaid eight +volumes of Decline and Fall. His gravity was unusual, portentous, +and immeasurable, not because he admitted any doubt of himself +but because he perceived it necessary to forestall any doubt of +himself in others. And herein he ranged with that very numerous +class of impostors, who are quite as determined to keep up +appearances to themselves, as to their neighbours. + +A certain loftiness, likewise, took possession of Mr Wegg; a +condescending sense of being in request as an official expounder of +mysteries. It did not move him to commercial greatness, but rather +to littleness, insomuch that if it had been within the possibilities of +things for the wooden measure to hold fewer nuts than usual, it +would have done so that day. But, when night came, and with her +veiled eyes beheld him stumping towards Boffin's Bower, he was +elated too. + +The Bower was as difficult to find, as Fair Rosamond's without the +clue. Mr Wegg, having reached the quarter indicated, inquired for +the Bower half a dozen times without the least success, until he +remembered to ask for Harmony Jail. This occasioned a quick +change in the spirits of a hoarse gentleman and a donkey, whom he +had much perplexed. + +'Why, yer mean Old Harmon's, do yer?' said the hoarse gentleman, +who was driving his donkey in a truck, with a carrot for a whip. +'Why didn't yer niver say so? Eddard and me is a goin' by HIM! +Jump in.' + +Mr Wegg complied, and the hoarse gentleman invited his attention +to the third person in company, thus; + +'Now, you look at Eddard's ears. What was it as you named, agin? +Whisper.' + +Mr Wegg whispered, 'Boffin's Bower.' + +'Eddard! (keep yer hi on his ears) cut away to Boffin's Bower!' + +Edward, with his ears lying back, remained immoveable. + +'Eddard! (keep yer hi on his ears) cut away to Old Harmon's.' +Edward instantly pricked up his ears to their utmost, and rattled off +at such a pace that Mr Wegg's conversation was jolted out of him +in a most dislocated state. + +'Was-it-Ev-verajail?' asked Mr Wegg, holding on. + +'Not a proper jail, wot you and me would get committed to,' +returned his escort; 'they giv' it the name, on accounts of Old +Harmon living solitary there.' + +'And-why-did-they-callitharm-Ony?' asked Wegg. + +'On accounts of his never agreeing with nobody. Like a speeches +of chaff. Harmon's Jail; Harmony Jail. Working it round like.' + +'Doyouknow-Mist-Erboff-in?' asked Wegg. + +'I should think so! Everybody do about here. Eddard knows him. +(Keep yer hi on his ears.) Noddy Boffin, Eddard!' + +The effect of the name was so very alarming, in respect of causing +a temporary disappearance of Edward's head, casting his hind +hoofs in the air, greatly accelerating the pace and increasing the +jolting, that Mr Wegg was fain to devote his attention exclusively +to holding on, and to relinquish his desire of ascertaining whether +this homage to Boffin was to be considered complimentary or the +reverse. + +Presently, Edward stopped at a gateway, and Wegg discreetly lost +no time in slipping out at the back of the truck. The moment he +was landed, his late driver with a wave of the carrot, said 'Supper, +Eddard!' and he, the hind hoofs, the truck, and Edward, all seemed +to fly into the air together, in a kind of apotheosis. + +Pushing the gate, which stood ajar, Wegg looked into an enclosed +space where certain tall dark mounds rose high against the sky, +and where the pathway to the Bower was indicated, as the +moonlight showed, between two lines of broken crockery set in +ashes. A white figure advancing along this path, proved to be +nothing more ghostly than Mr Boffin, easily attired for the pursuit +of knowledge, in an undress garment of short white smock-frock. +Having received his literary friend with great cordiality, he +conducted him to the interior of the Bower and there presented him +to Mrs Boffin:--a stout lady of a rubicund and cheerful aspect, +dressed (to Mr Wegg's consternation) in a low evening-dress of +sable satin, and a large black velvet hat and feathers. + +'Mrs Boffin, Wegg,' said Boffin, 'is a highflyer at Fashion. And +her make is such, that she does it credit. As to myself I ain't yet as +Fash'nable as I may come to be. Henerietty, old lady, this is the +gentleman that's a going to decline and fall off the Rooshan +Empire.' + +'And I am sure I hope it'll do you both good,' said Mrs Boffin. + +It was the queerest of rooms, fitted and furnished more like a +luxurious amateur tap-room than anything else within the ken of +Silas Wegg. There were two wooden settles by the fire, one on +either side of it, with a corresponding table before each. On one of +these tables, the eight volumes were ranged flat, in a row, like a +galvanic battery; on the other, certain squat case-bottles of inviting +appearance seemed to stand on tiptoe to exchange glances with Mr +Wegg over a front row of tumblers and a basin of white sugar. On +the hob, a kettle steamed; on the hearth, a cat reposed. Facing the +fire between the settles, a sofa, a footstool, and a little table, +formed a centrepiece devoted to Mrs Boffin. They were garish in +taste and colour, but were expensive articles of drawing-room +furniture that had a very odd look beside the settles and the flaring +gaslight pendent from the ceiling. There was a flowery carpet on +the floor; but, instead of reaching to the fireside, its glowing +vegetation stopped short at Mrs Boffin's footstool, and gave place +to a region of sand and sawdust. Mr Wegg also noticed, with +admiring eyes, that, while the flowery land displayed such hollow +ornamentation as stuffed birds and waxen fruits under glass- +shades, there were, in the territory where vegetation ceased, +compensatory shelves on which the best part of a large pie and +likewise of a cold joint were plainly discernible among other +solids. The room itself was large, though low; and the heavy +frames of its old-fashioned windows, and the heavy beams in its +crooked ceiling, seemed to indicate that it had once been a house of +some mark standing alone in the country. + +'Do you like it, Wegg?' asked Mr Boffin, in his pouncing manner. + +'I admire it greatly, sir,' said Wegg. 'Peculiar comfort at this +fireside, sir.' + +'Do you understand it, Wegg?' + +'Why, in a general way, sir,' Mr Wegg was beginning slowly and +knowingly, with his head stuck on one side, as evasive people do +begin, when the other cut him short: + +'You DON'T understand it, Wegg, and I'll explain it. These +arrangements is made by mutual consent between Mrs Boffin and +me. Mrs Boffin, as I've mentioned, is a highflyer at Fashion; at +present I'm not. I don't go higher than comfort, and comfort of the +sort that I'm equal to the enjoyment of. Well then. Where would +be the good of Mrs Boffin and me quarrelling over it? We never +did quarrel, before we come into Boffin's Bower as a property; why +quarrel when we HAVE come into Boffin's Bower as a property? +So Mrs Boffin, she keeps up her part of the room, in her way; I +keep up my part of the room in mine. In consequence of which we +have at once, Sociability (I should go melancholy mad without Mrs +Boffin), Fashion, and Comfort. If I get by degrees to be a higher- +flyer at Fashion, then Mrs Boffin will by degrees come for'arder. If +Mrs Boffin should ever be less of a dab at Fashion than she is at +the present time, then Mrs Boffin's carpet would go back'arder. If +we should both continny as we are, why then HERE we are, and +give us a kiss, old lady.' + +Mrs Boffin who, perpetually smiling, had approached and drawn +her plump arm through her lord's, most willingly complied. +Fashion, in the form of her black velvet hat and feathers, tried to +prevent it; but got deservedly crushed in the endeavour. + +'So now, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, wiping his mouth with an air of +much refreshment, 'you begin to know us as we are. This is a +charming spot, is the Bower, but you must get to apprechiate it by +degrees. It's a spot to find out the merits of; little by little, and a +new'un every day. There's a serpentining walk up each of the +mounds, that gives you the yard and neighbourhood changing +every moment. When you get to the top, there's a view of the +neighbouring premises, not to be surpassed. The premises of Mrs +Boffin's late father (Canine Provision Trade), you look down into, +as if they was your own. And the top of the High Mound is +crowned with a lattice-work Arbour, in which, if you don't read out +loud many a book in the summer, ay, and as a friend, drop many a +time into poetry too, it shan't be my fault. Now, what'll you read +on?' + +'Thank you, sir,' returned Wegg, as if there were nothing new in his +reading at all. 'I generally do it on gin and water.' + +'Keeps the organ moist, does it, Wegg?' asked Mr Boffin, with +innocent eagerness. + +'N-no, sir,' replied Wegg, coolly, 'I should hardly describe it so, sir. +I should say, mellers it. Mellers it, is the word I should employ, +Mr Boffin.' + +His wooden conceit and craft kept exact pace with the delighted +expectation of his victim. The visions rising before his mercenary +mind, of the many ways in which this connexion was to be turned +to account, never obscured the foremost idea natural to a dull +overreaching man, that he must not make himself too cheap. + +Mrs Boffin's Fashion, as a less inexorable deity than the idol +usually worshipped under that name, did not forbid her mixing for +her literary guest, or asking if he found the result to his liking. On +his returning a gracious answer and taking his place at the literary +settle, Mr Boffin began to compose himself as a listener, at the +opposite settle, with exultant eyes. + +'Sorry to deprive you of a pipe, Wegg,' he said, filling his own, 'but +you can't do both together. Oh! and another thing I forgot to name! +When you come in here of an evening, and look round you, and +notice anything on a shelf that happens to catch your fancy, +mention it.' + +Wegg, who had been going to put on his spectacles, immediately +laid them down, with the sprightly observation: + +'You read my thoughts, sir. DO my eyes deceive me, or is that +object up there a--a pie? It can't be a pie.' + +'Yes, it's a pie, Wegg,' replied Mr Boffin, with a glance of some +little discomfiture at the Decline and Fall. + +'HAVE I lost my smell for fruits, or is it a apple pie, sir?' asked +Wegg. + +'It's a veal and ham pie,' said Mr Boffin. + +'Is it indeed, sir? And it would be hard, sir, to name the pie that is +a better pie than a weal and hammer,' said Mr Wegg, nodding his +head emotionally. + +'Have some, Wegg?' + +'Thank you, Mr Boffin, I think I will, at your invitation. I wouldn't +at any other party's, at the present juncture; but at yours, sir!--And +meaty jelly too, especially when a little salt, which is the case +where there's ham, is mellering to the organ, is very mellering to +the organ.' Mr Wegg did not say what organ, but spoke with a +cheerful generality. + +So, the pie was brought down, and the worthy Mr Boffin exercised +his patience until Wegg, in the exercise of his knife and fork, had +finished the dish: only profiting by the opportunity to inform Wegg +that although it was not strictly Fashionable to keep the contents of +a larder thus exposed to view, he (Mr Boffin) considered it +hospitable; for the reason, that instead of saying, in a +comparatively unmeaning manner, to a visitor, 'There are such and +such edibles down stairs; will you have anything up?' you took the +bold practical course of saying, 'Cast your eye along the shelves, +and, if you see anything you like there, have it down.' + +And now, Mr Wegg at length pushed away his plate and put on his +spectacles, and Mr Boffin lighted his pipe and looked with +beaming eyes into the opening world before him, and Mrs Boffin +reclined in a fashionable manner on her sofa: as one who would be +part of the audience if she found she could, and would go to sleep +if she found she couldn't. + +'Hem!' began Wegg, 'This, Mr Boffin and Lady, is the first chapter +of the first wollume of the Decline and Fall off--' here he looked +hard at the book, and stopped. + +'What's the matter, Wegg?' + +'Why, it comes into my mind, do you know, sir,' said Wegg with +an air of insinuating frankness (having first again looked hard at +the book), 'that you made a little mistake this morning, which I had +meant to set you right in, only something put it out of my head. I +think you said Rooshan Empire, sir?' + +'It is Rooshan; ain't it, Wegg?' + +'No, sir. Roman. Roman.' + +'What's the difference, Wegg?' + +'The difference, sir?' Mr Wegg was faltering and in danger of +breaking down, when a bright thought flashed upon him. 'The +difference, sir? There you place me in a difficulty, Mr Boffin. +Suffice it to observe, that the difference is best postponed to some +other occasion when Mrs Boffin does not honour us with her +company. In Mrs Boffin's presence, sir, we had better drop it.' + +Mr Wegg thus came out of his disadvantage with quite a +chivalrous air, and not only that, but by dint of repeating with a +manly delicacy, 'In Mrs Boffin's presence, sir, we had better drop +it!' turned the disadvantage on Boffin, who felt that he had +committed himself in a very painful manner. + +Then, Mr Wegg, in a dry unflinching way, entered on his task; +going straight across country at everything that came before him; +taking all the hard words, biographical and geographical; getting +rather shaken by Hadrian, Trajan, and the Antonines; stumbling at +Polybius (pronounced Polly Beeious, and supposed by Mr Boffin to +be a Roman virgin, and by Mrs Boffin to be responsible for that +necessity of dropping it); heavily unseated by Titus Antoninus +Pius; up again and galloping smoothly with Augustus; finally, +getting over the ground well with Commodus: who, under the +appellation of Commodious, was held by Mr Boffin to have been +quite unworthy of his English origin, and 'not to have acted up to +his name' in his government of the Roman people. With the death +of this personage, Mr Wegg terminated his first reading; long +before which consummation several total eclipses of Mrs Boffin's +candle behind her black velvet disc, would have been very +alarming, but for being regularly accompanied by a potent smell of +burnt pens when her feathers took fire, which acted as a restorative +and woke her. Mr Wegg, having read on by rote and attached as +few ideas as possible to the text, came out of the encounter fresh; +but, Mr Boffin, who had soon laid down his unfinished pipe, and +had ever since sat intently staring with his eyes and mind at the +confounding enormities of the Romans, was so severely punished +that he could hardly wish his literary friend Good-night, and +articulate 'Tomorrow.' + +'Commodious,' gasped Mr Boffin, staring at the moon, after +letting Wegg out at the gate and fastening it: 'Commodious fights +in that wild-beast-show, seven hundred and thirty-five times, in +one character only! As if that wasn't stunning enough, a hundred +lions is turned into the same wild-beast-show all at once! As if +that wasn't stunning enough, Commodious, in another character, +kills 'em all off in a hundred goes! As if that wasn't stunning +enough, Vittle-us (and well named too) eats six millions' worth, +English money, in seven months! Wegg takes it easy, but upon- +my-soul to a old bird like myself these are scarers. And even now +that Commodious is strangled, I don't see a way to our bettering +ourselves.' Mr Boffin added as he turned his pensive steps towards +the Bower and shook his head, 'I didn't think this morning there +was half so many Scarers in Print. But I'm in for it now!' + + + +Chapter 6 + +CUT ADRIFT + + +The Six Jolly Fellowship Porters, already mentioned as a tavern of +a dropsical appearance, had long settled down into a state of hale +infirmity. In its whole constitution it had not a straight floor, and +hardly a straight line; but it had outlasted, and clearly would yet +outlast, many a better-trimmed building, many a sprucer public- +house. Externally, it was a narrow lopsided wooden jumble of +corpulent windows heaped one upon another as you might heap as +many toppling oranges, with a crazy wooden verandah impending +over the water; indeed the whole house, inclusive of the +complaining flag-staff on the roof, impended over the water, but +seemed to have got into the condition of a faint-hearted diver who +has paused so long on the brink that he will never go in at all. + +This description applies to the river-frontage of the Six Jolly +Fellowship Porters. The back of the establishment, though the +chief entrance was there, so contracted that it merely represented in +its connexion with the front, the handle of a flat iron set upright on +its broadest end. This handle stood at the bottom of a wilderness +of court and alley: which wilderness pressed so hard and close +upon the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters as to leave the hostelry not +an inch of ground beyond its door. For this reason, in combination +with the fact that the house was all but afloat at high water, when +the Porters had a family wash the linen subjected to that operation +might usually be seen drying on lines stretched across the +reception-rooms and bed-chambers. + +The wood forming the chimney-pieces, beams, partitions, floors +and doors, of the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters, seemed in its old +age fraught with confused memories of its youth. In many places it +had become gnarled and riven, according to the manner of old +trees; knots started out of it; and here and there it seemed to twist +itself into some likeness of boughs. In this state of second +childhood, it had an air of being in its own way garrulous about its +early life. Not without reason was it often asserted by the regular +frequenters of the Porters, that when the light shone full upon the +grain of certain panels, and particularly upon an old corner +cupboard of walnut-wood in the bar, you might trace little forests +there, and tiny trees like the parent tree, in full umbrageous leaf. + +The bar of the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters was a bar to soften the +human breast. The available space in it was not much larger than +a hackney-coach; but no one could have wished the bar bigger, that +space was so girt in by corpulent little casks, and by cordial-bottles +radiant with fictitious grapes in bunches, and by lemons in nets, +and by biscuits in baskets, and by the polite beer-pulls that made +low bows when customers were served with beer, and by the +cheese in a snug corner, and by the landlady's own small table in a +snugger corner near the fire, with the cloth everlastingly laid. This +haven was divided from the rough world by a glass partition and a +half-door, with a leaden sill upon it for the convenience of resting +your liquor; but, over this half-door the bar's snugness so gushed +forth that, albeit customers drank there standing, in a dark and +draughty passage where they were shouldered by other customers +passing in and out, they always appeared to drink under an +enchanting delusion that they were in the bar itself. + +For the rest, both the tap and parlour of the Six Jolly Fellowship +Porters gave upon the river, and had red curtains matching the +noses of the regular customers, and were provided with +comfortable fireside tin utensils, like models of sugar-loaf hats, +made in that shape that they might, with their pointed ends, seek +out for themselves glowing nooks in the depths of the red coals, +when they mulled your ale, or heated for you those delectable +drinks, Purl, Flip, and Dog's Nose. The first of these humming +compounds was a speciality of the Porters, which, through an +inscription on its door-posts, gently appealed to your feelings as, +'The Early Purl House'. For, it would seem that Purl must always +be taken early; though whether for any more distinctly stomachic +reason than that, as the early bird catches the worm, so the early +purl catches the customer, cannot here be resolved. It only remains +to add that in the handle of the flat iron, and opposite the bar, was +a very little room like a three-cornered hat, into which no direct ray +of sun, moon, or star, ever penetrated, but which was +superstitiously regarded as a sanctuary replete with comfort and +retirement by gaslight, and on the door of which was therefore +painted its alluring name: Cosy. + +Miss Potterson, sole proprietor and manager of the Fellowship +Porters, reigned supreme on her throne, the Bar, and a man must +have drunk himself mad drunk indeed if he thought he could +contest a point with her. Being known on her own authority as +Miss Abbey Potterson, some water-side heads, which (like the +water) were none of the clearest, harboured muddled notions that, +because of her dignity and firmness, she was named after, or in +some sort related to, the Abbey at Westminster. But, Abbey was +only short for Abigail, by which name Miss Potterson had been +christened at Limehouse Church, some sixty and odd years before. + +'Now, you mind, you Riderhood,' said Miss Abbey Potterson, with +emphatic forefinger over the half-door, 'the Fellowship don't want +you at all, and would rather by far have your room than your +company; but if you were as welcome here as you are not, you +shouldn't even then have another drop of drink here this night, after +this present pint of beer. So make the most of it.' + +'But you know, Miss Potterson,' this was suggested very meekly +though, 'if I behave myself, you can't help serving me, miss.' + +'CAN'T I!' said Abbey, with infinite expression. + +'No, Miss Potterson; because, you see, the law--' + +'I am the law here, my man,' returned Miss Abbey, 'and I'll soon +convince you of that, if you doubt it at all.' + +'I never said I did doubt it at all, Miss Abbey.' + +'So much the better for you.' + +Abbey the supreme threw the customer's halfpence into the till, +and, seating herself in her fireside-chair, resumed the newspaper +she had been reading. She was a tall, upright, well-favoured +woman, though severe of countenance, and had more of the air of a +schoolmistress than mistress of the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters. +The man on the other side of the half-door, was a waterside-man +with a squinting leer, and he eyed her as if he were one of her +pupils in disgrace. + +'You're cruel hard upon me, Miss Potterson.' + +Miss Potterson read her newspaper with contracted brows, and +took no notice until he whispered: + +'Miss Potterson! Ma'am! Might I have half a word with you?' + +Deigning then to turn her eyes sideways towards the suppliant, +Miss Potterson beheld him knuckling his low forehead, and +ducking at her with his head, as if he were asking leave to fling +himself head foremost over the half-door and alight on his feet in +the bar. + +'Well?' said Miss Potterson, with a manner as short as she herself +was long, 'say your half word. Bring it out.' + +'Miss Potterson! Ma'am! Would you 'sxcuse me taking the liberty +of asking, is it my character that you take objections to?' + +'Certainly,' said Miss Potterson. + +'Is it that you're afraid of--' + +'I am not afraid OF YOU,' interposed Miss Potterson, 'if you mean +that.' + +'But I humbly don't mean that, Miss Abbey.' + +'Then what do you mean?' + +'You really are so cruel hard upon me! What I was going to make +inquiries was no more than, might you have any apprehensions-- +leastways beliefs or suppositions--that the company's property +mightn't be altogether to be considered safe, if I used the house too +regular?' + +'What do you want to know for?' + +'Well, Miss Abbey, respectfully meaning no offence to you, it +would be some satisfaction to a man's mind, to understand why the +Fellowship Porters is not to be free to such as me, and is to be free +to such as Gaffer.' + +The face of the hostess darkened with some shadow of perplexity, +as she replied: 'Gaffer has never been where you have been.' + +'Signifying in Quod, Miss? Perhaps not. But he may have merited +it. He may be suspected of far worse than ever I was.' + +'Who suspects him?' + +'Many, perhaps. One, beyond all doubts. I do.' + +'YOU are not much,' said Miss Abbey Potterson, knitting her +brows again with disdain. + +'But I was his pardner. Mind you, Miss Abbey, I was his pardner. +As such I know more of the ins and outs of him than any person +living does. Notice this! I am the man that was his pardner, and I +am the man that suspects him.' + +'Then,' suggested Miss Abbey, though with a deeper shade of +perplexity than before, 'you criminate yourself.' + +'No I don't, Miss Abbey. For how does it stand? It stands this +way. When I was his pardner, I couldn't never give him +satisfaction. Why couldn't I never give him satisfaction? Because +my luck was bad; because I couldn't find many enough of 'em. +How was his luck? Always good. Notice this! Always good! Ah! +There's a many games, Miss Abbey, in which there's chance, but +there's a many others in which there's skill too, mixed along with it.' + +'That Gaffer has a skill in finding what he finds, who doubts, +man?' asked Miss Abbey. + +'A skill in purwiding what he finds, perhaps,' said Riderhood, +shaking his evil head. + +Miss Abbey knitted her brow at him, as he darkly leered at her. 'If +you're out upon the river pretty nigh every tide, and if you want to +find a man or woman in the river, you'll greatly help your luck, +Miss Abbey, by knocking a man or woman on the head aforehand +and pitching 'em in.' + +'Gracious Lud!' was the involuntary exclamation of Miss Potterson. + +'Mind you!' returned the other, stretching forward over the half +door to throw his words into the bar; for his voice was as if the +head of his boat's mop were down his throat; 'I say so, Miss +Abbey! And mind you! I'll follow him up, Miss Abbey! And +mind you! I'll bring him to hook at last, if it's twenty year hence, I +will! Who's he, to be favoured along of his daughter? Ain't I got a +daughter of my own!' + +With that flourish, and seeming to have talked himself rather more +drunk and much more ferocious than he had begun by being, Mr +Riderhood took up his pint pot and swaggered off to the taproom. + +Gaffer was not there, but a pretty strong muster of Miss Abbey's +pupils were, who exhibited, when occasion required, the greatest +docility. On the clock's striking ten, and Miss Abbey's appearing +at the door, and addressing a certain person in a faded scarlet +jacket, with 'George Jones, your time's up! I told your wife you +should be punctual,' Jones submissively rose, gave the company +good-night, and retired. At half-past ten, on Miss Abbey's looking +in again, and saying, 'William Williams, Bob Glamour, and +Jonathan, you are all due,' Williams, Bob, and Jonathan with +similar meekness took their leave and evaporated. Greater wonder +than these, when a bottle-nosed person in a glazed hat had after +some considerable hesitation ordered another glass of gin and +water of the attendant potboy, and when Miss Abbey, instead of +sending it, appeared in person, saying, 'Captain Joey, you have had +as much as will do you good,' not only did the captain feebly rub +his knees and contemplate the fire without offering a word of +protest, but the rest of the company murmured, 'Ay, ay, Captain! +Miss Abbey's right; you be guided by Miss Abbey, Captain.' Nor, +was Miss Abbey's vigilance in anywise abated by this submission, +but rather sharpened; for, looking round on the deferential faces of +her school, and descrying two other young persons in need of +admonition, she thus bestowed it: 'Tom Tootle, it's time for a +young fellow who's going to be married next month, to be at home +and asleep. And you needn't nudge him, Mr Jack Mullins, for I +know your work begins early tomorrow, and I say the same to you. +So come! Good-night, like good lads!' Upon which, the blushing +Tootle looked to Mullins, and the blushing Mullins looked to +Tootle, on the question who should rise first, and finally both rose +together and went out on the broad grin, followed by Miss Abbey; +in whose presence the company did not take the liberty of grinning +likewise. + +In such an establishment, the white-aproned pot-boy with his shirt- +sleeves arranged in a tight roll on each bare shoulder, was a mere +hint of the possibility of physical force, thrown out as a matter of +state and form. Exactly at the closing hour, all the guests who +were left, filed out in the best order: Miss Abbey standing at the +half door of the bar, to hold a ceremony of review and dismissal. +All wished Miss Abbey good-night and Miss Abbey wished good- +night to all, except Riderhood. The sapient pot-boy, looking on +officially, then had the conviction borne in upon his soul, that the +man was evermore outcast and excommunicate from the Six Jolly +Fellowship Porters. + +'You Bob Gliddery,' said Miss Abbey to this pot-boy, 'run round to +Hexam's and tell his daughter Lizzie that I want to speak to her.' + +With exemplary swiftness Bob Gliddery departed, and returned. +Lizzie, following him, arrived as one of the two female domestics +of the Fellowship Porters arranged on the snug little table by the +bar fire, Miss Potterson's supper of hot sausages and mashed +potatoes. + +'Come in and sit ye down, girl,' said Miss Abbey. 'Can you eat a +bit?' + +'No thank you, Miss. I have had my supper.' + +'I have had mine too, I think,' said Miss Abbey, pushing away the +untasted dish, 'and more than enough of it. I am put out, Lizzie.' + +'I am very sorry for it, Miss.' + +'Then why, in the name of Goodness,' quoth Miss Abbey, sharply, +'do you do it?' + +'I do it, Miss!' + +'There, there. Don't look astonished. I ought to have begun with a +word of explanation, but it's my way to make short cuts at things. I +always was a pepperer. You Bob Gliddery there, put the chain +upon the door and get ye down to your supper.' + +With an alacrity that seemed no less referable to the pepperer fact +than to the supper fact, Bob obeyed, and his boots were heard +descending towards the bed of the river. + +'Lizzie Hexam, Lizzie Hexam,' then began Miss Potterson, 'how +often have I held out to you the opportunity of getting clear of your +father, and doing well?' + +'Very often, Miss.' + +'Very often? Yes! And I might as well have spoken to the iron +funnel of the strongest sea-going steamer that passes the +Fellowship Porters.' + +'No, Miss,' Lizzie pleaded; 'because that would not be thankful, +and I am.' + +'I vow and declare I am half ashamed of myself for taking such an +interest in you,' said Miss Abbey, pettishly, 'for I don't believe I +should do it if you were not good-looking. Why ain't you ugly?' + +Lizzie merely answered this difficult question with an apologetic +glance. + +'However, you ain't,' resumed Miss Potterson, 'so it's no use going +into that. I must take you as I find you. Which indeed is what I've +done. And you mean to say you are still obstinate?' + +'Not obstinate, Miss, I hope.' + +'Firm (I suppose you call it) then?' + +'Yes, Miss. Fixed like.' + +'Never was an obstinate person yet, who would own to the word!' +remarked Miss Potterson, rubbing her vexed nose; 'I'm sure I +would, if I was obstinate; but I am a pepperer, which is different. +Lizzie Hexam, Lizzie Hexam, think again. Do you know the worst +of your father?' + +'Do I know the worst of father!' she repeated, opening her eyes. 'Do +you know the suspicions to which your father makes himself +liable? Do you know the suspicions that are actually about, +against him?' + +The consciousness of what he habitually did, oppressed the girl +heavily, and she slowly cast down her eyes. + +'Say, Lizzie. Do you know?' urged Miss Abbey. + +'Please to tell me what the suspicions are, Miss,' she asked after a +silence, with her eyes upon the ground. + +'It's not an easy thing to tell a daughter, but it must be told. It is +thought by some, then, that your father helps to their death a few of +those that he finds dead.' + +The relief of hearing what she felt sure was a false suspicion, in +place of the expected real and true one, so lightened Lizzie's breast +for the moment, that Miss Abbey was amazed at her demeanour. +She raised her eyes quickly, shook her head, and, in a kind of +triumph, almost laughed. + +'They little know father who talk like that!' + +('She takes it,' thought Miss Abbey, 'very quietly. She takes it with +extraordinary quietness!') + +'And perhaps,' said Lizzie, as a recollection flashed upon her, 'it is +some one who has a grudge against father; some one who has +threatened father! Is it Riderhood, Miss?' + +'Well; yes it is.' + +'Yes! He was father's partner, and father broke with him, and now +he revenges himself. Father broke with him when I was by, and he +was very angry at it. And besides, Miss Abbey!--Will you never, +without strong reason, let pass your lips what I am going to say?' + +She bent forward to say it in a whisper. + +'I promise,' said Miss Abbey. + +'It was on the night when the Harmon murder was found out, +through father, just above bridge. And just below bridge, as we +were sculling home, Riderhood crept out of the dark in his boat. +And many and many times afterwards, when such great pains were +taken to come to the bottom of the crime, and it never could be +come near, I thought in my own thoughts, could Riderhood himself +have done the murder, and did he purposely let father find the +body? It seemed a'most wicked and cruel to so much as think such +a thing; but now that he tries to throw it upon father, I go back to it +as if it was a truth. Can it be a truth? That was put into my mind +by the dead?' + +She asked this question, rather of the fire than of the hostess of the +Fellowship Porters, and looked round the little bar with troubled +eyes. + +But, Miss Potterson, as a ready schoolmistress accustomed to bring +her pupils to book, set the matter in a light that was essentially of +this world. + +'You poor deluded girl,' she said, 'don't you see that you can't open +your mind to particular suspicions of one of the two, without +opening your mind to general suspicions of the other? They had +worked together. Their goings-on had been going on for some +time. Even granting that it was as you have had in your thoughts, +what the two had done together would come familiar to the mind +of one.' + +'You don't know father, Miss, when you talk like that. Indeed, +indeed, you don't know father.' + +'Lizzie, Lizzie,' said Miss Potterson. 'Leave him. You needn't +break with him altogether, but leave him. Do well away from him; +not because of what I have told you to-night--we'll pass no +judgment upon that, and we'll hope it may not be--but because of +what I have urged on you before. No matter whether it's owing to +your good looks or not, I like you and I want to serve you. Lizzie, +come under my direction. Don't fling yourself away, my girl, but +be persuaded into being respectable and happy.' + +In the sound good feeling and good sense of her entreaty, Miss +Abbey had softened into a soothing tone, and had even drawn her +arm round the girl's waist. But, she only replied, 'Thank you, +thank you! I can't. I won't. I must not think of it. The harder +father is borne upon, the more he needs me to lean on.' + +And then Miss Abbey, who, like all hard people when they do +soften, felt that there was considerable compensation owing to her, +underwent reaction and became frigid. + +'I have done what I can,' she said, 'and you must go your way. You +make your bed, and you must lie on it. But tell your father one +thing: he must not come here any more. + +'Oh, Miss, will you forbid him the house where I know he's safe?' + +'The Fellowships,' returned Miss Abbey, 'has itself to look to, as +well as others. It has been hard work to establish order here, and +make the Fellowships what it is, and it is daily and nightly hard +work to keep it so. The Fellowships must not have a taint upon it +that may give it a bad name. I forbid the house to Riderhood, and I +forbid the house to Gaffer. I forbid both, equally. I find from +Riderhood and you together, that there are suspicions against both +men, and I'm not going to take upon myself to decide betwixt +them. They are both tarred with a dirty brush, and I can't have the +Fellowships tarred with the same brush. That's all I know.' + +'Good-night, Miss!' said Lizzie Hexam, sorrowfully. + +'Hah!--Good-night!' returned Miss Abbey with a shake of her head. + +'Believe me, Miss Abbey, I am truly grateful all the same.' + +'I can believe a good deal,' returned the stately Abbey, 'so I'll try to +believe that too, Lizzie.' + +No supper did Miss Potterson take that night, and only half her +usual tumbler of hot Port Negus. And the female domestics--two +robust sisters, with staring black eyes, shining flat red faces, blunt +noses, and strong black curls, like dolls--interchanged the +sentiment that Missis had had her hair combed the wrong way by +somebody. And the pot-boy afterwards remarked, that he hadn't +been 'so rattled to bed', since his late mother had systematically +accelerated his retirement to rest with a poker. + +The chaining of the door behind her, as she went forth, +disenchanted Lizzie Hexam of that first relief she had felt. The +night was black and shrill, the river-side wilderness was +melancholy, and there was a sound of casting-out, in the rattling of +the iron-links, and the grating of the bolts and staples under Miss +Abbey's hand. As she came beneath the lowering sky, a sense of +being involved in a murky shade of Murder dropped upon her; and, +as the tidal swell of the river broke at her feet without her seeing +how it gathered, so, her thoughts startled her by rushing out of an +unseen void and striking at her heart. + +Of her father's being groundlessly suspected, she felt sure. Sure. +Sure. And yet, repeat the word inwardly as often as she would, the +attempt to reason out and prove that she was sure, always came +after it and failed. Riderhood had done the deed, and entrapped +her father. Riderhood had not done the deed, but had resolved in +his malice to turn against her father, the appearances that were +ready to his hand to distort. Equally and swiftly upon either +putting of the case, followed the frightful possibility that her father, +being innocent, yet might come to be believed guilty. She had +heard of people suffering Death for bloodshed of which they were +afterwards proved pure, and those ill-fated persons were not, first, +in that dangerous wrong in which her father stood. Then at the +best, the beginning of his being set apart, whispered against, and +avoided, was a certain fact. It dated from that very night. And as +the great black river with its dreary shores was soon lost to her +view in the gloom, so, she stood on the river's brink unable to see +into the vast blank misery of a life suspected, and fallen away from +by good and bad, but knowing that it lay there dim before her, +stretching away to the great ocean, Death. + +One thing only, was clear to the girl's mind. Accustomed from her +very babyhood promptly to do the thing that could be done-- +whether to keep out weather, to ward off cold, to postpone hunger, +or what not--she started out of her meditation, and ran home. + +The room was quiet, and the lamp burnt on the table. In the bunk +in the corner, her brother lay asleep. She bent over him softly, +kissed him, and came to the table. + +'By the time of Miss Abbey's closing, and by the run of the tide, it +must be one. Tide's running up. Father at Chiswick, wouldn't +think of coming down, till after the turn, and that's at half after +four. I'll call Charley at six. I shall hear the church-clocks strike, +as I sit here.' + +Very quietly, she placed a chair before the scanty fire, and sat +down in it, drawing her shawl about her. + +'Charley's hollow down by the flare is not there now. Poor +Charley!' + +The clock struck two, and the clock struck three, and the clock +struck four, and she remained there, with a woman's patience and +her own purpose. When the morning was well on between four +and five, she slipped off her shoes (that her going about, might not +wake Charley), trimmed the fire sparingly, put water on to boil, +and set the table for breakfast. Then she went up the ladder, lamp +in hand, and came down again, and glided about and about, +making a little bundle. Lastly, from her pocket, and from the +chimney-piece, and from an inverted basin on the highest shelf she +brought halfpence, a few sixpences, fewer shillings, and fell to +laboriously and noiselessly counting them, and setting aside one +little heap. She was still so engaged, when she was startled by: + +'Hal-loa!' From her brother, sitting up in bed. + +'You made me jump, Charley.' + +'Jump! Didn't you make ME jump, when I opened my eyes a +moment ago, and saw you sitting there, like the ghost of a girl +miser, in the dead of the night.' + +'It's not the dead of the night, Charley. It's nigh six in the +morning.' + +'Is it though? But what are you up to, Liz?' + +'Still telling your fortune, Charley.' + +'It seems to be a precious small one, if that's it,' said the boy. +'What are you putting that little pile of money by itself for?' + +'For you, Charley.' + +'What do you mean?' + +'Get out of bed, Charley, and get washed and dressed, and then I'll +tell you.' + +Her composed manner, and her low distinct voice, always had an +influence over him. His head was soon in a basin of water, and out +of it again, and staring at her through a storm of towelling. + +'I never,' towelling at himself as if he were his bitterest enemy, +'saw such a girl as you are. What IS the move, Liz?' + +'Are you almost ready for breakfast, Charley?' + +'You can pour it out. Hal-loa! I say? And a bundle?' + +'And a bundle, Charley.' + +'You don't mean it's for me, too?' + +'Yes, Charley; I do; indeed.' + +More serious of face, and more slow of action, than he had been, +the boy completed his dressing, and came and sat down at the little +breakfast-table, with his eyes amazedly directed to her face. + +'You see, Charley dear, I have made up my mind that this is the +right time for your going away from us. Over and above all the +blessed change of by-and-bye, you'll be much happier, and do +much better, even so soon as next month. Even so soon as next +week.' + +'How do you know I shall?' + +'I don't quite know how, Charley, but I do.' In spite of her +unchanged manner of speaking, and her unchanged appearance of +composure, she scarcely trusted herself to look at him, but kept her +eyes employed on the cutting and buttering of his bread, and on the +mixing of his tea, and other such little preparations. 'You must +leave father to me, Charley--I will do what I can with him--but you +must go.' + +'You don't stand upon ceremony, I think,' grumbled the boy, +throwing his bread and butter about, in an ill-humour. + +She made him no answer. + +'I tell you what,' said the boy, then, bursting out into an angry +whimpering, 'you're a selfish jade, and you think there's not enough +for three of us, and you want to get rid of me.' + +'If you believe so, Charley,--yes, then I believe too, that I am a +selfish jade, and that I think there's not enough for three of us, and +that I want to get rid of you.' + +It was only when the boy rushed at her, and threw his arms round +her neck, that she lost her self-restraint. But she lost it then, and +wept over him. + +'Don't cry, don't cry! I am satisfied to go, Liz; I am satisfied to go. +I know you send me away for my good.' + +'O, Charley, Charley, Heaven above us knows I do!' + +'Yes yes. Don't mind what I said. Don't remember it. Kiss me.' + +After a silence, she loosed him, to dry her eyes and regain her +strong quiet influence. + +'Now listen, Charley dear. We both know it must be done, and I +alone know there is good reason for its being done at once. Go +straight to the school, and say that you and I agreed upon it--that +we can't overcome father's opposition--that father will never +trouble them, but will never take you back. You are a credit to the +school, and you will be a greater credit to it yet, and they will help +you to get a living. Show what clothes you have brought, and what +money, and say that I will send some more money. If I can get +some in no other way, I will ask a little help of those two +gentlemen who came here that night.' + +'I say!' cried her brother, quickly. 'Don't you have it of that chap +that took hold of me by the chin! Don't you have it of that +Wrayburn one!' + +Perhaps a slight additional tinge of red flushed up into her face and +brow, as with a nod she laid a hand upon his lips to keep him +silently attentive. + +'And above all things mind this, Charley! Be sure you always +speak well of father. Be sure you always give father his full due. +You can't deny that because father has no learning himself he is set +against it in you; but favour nothing else against him, and be sure +you say--as you know--that your sister is devoted to him. And if +you should ever happen to hear anything said against father that is +new to you, it will not be true. Remember, Charley! It will not be +true.' + +The boy looked at her with some doubt and surprise, but she went +on again without heeding it. + +'Above all things remember! It will not be true. I have nothing +more to say, Charley dear, except, be good, and get learning, and +only think of some things in the old life here, as if you had +dreamed them in a dream last night. Good-bye, my Darling!' + +Though so young, she infused in these parting words a love that +was far more like a mother's than a sister's, and before which the +boy was quite bowed down. After holding her to his breast with a +passionate cry, he took up his bundle and darted out at the door, +with an arm across his eyes. + +The white face of the winter day came sluggishly on, veiled in a +frosty mist; and the shadowy ships in the river slowly changed to +black substances; and the sun, blood-red on the eastern marshes +behind dark masts and yards, seemed filled with the ruins of a +forest it had set on fire. Lizzie, looking for her father, saw him +coming, and stood upon the causeway that he might see her. + +He had nothing with him but his boat, and came on apace. A knot +of those amphibious human-creatures who appear to have some +mysterious power of extracting a subsistence out of tidal water by +looking at it, were gathered together about the causeway. As her +father's boat grounded, they became contemplative of the mud, and +dispersed themselves. She saw that the mute avoidance had +begun. + +Gaffer saw it, too, in so far as that he was moved when he set foot +on shore, to stare around him. But, he promptly set to work to haul +up his boat, and make her fast, and take the sculls and rudder and +rope out of her. Carrying these with Lizzie's aid, he passed up to +his dwelling. + +'Sit close to the fire, father, dear, while I cook your breakfast. It's +all ready for cooking, and only been waiting for you. You must be +frozen.' + +'Well, Lizzie, I ain't of a glow; that's certain. And my hands seem +nailed through to the sculls. See how dead they are!' Something +suggestive in their colour, and perhaps in her face, struck him as +he held them up; he turned his shoulder and held them down to the +fire. + +'You were not out in the perishing night, I hope, father?' + +'No, my dear. Lay aboard a barge, by a blazing coal-fire.--Where's +that boy?' + +'There's a drop of brandy for your tea, father, if you'll put it in while +I turn this bit of meat. If the river was to get frozen, there would be +a deal of distress; wouldn't there, father?' + +'Ah! there's always enough of that,' said Gaffer, dropping the liquor +into his cup from a squat black bottle, and dropping it slowly that +it might seem more; 'distress is for ever a going about, like sut in +the air--Ain't that boy up yet?' + +'The meat's ready now, father. Eat it while it's hot and +comfortable. After you have finished, we'll turn round to the fire +and talk.' + +But, he perceived that he was evaded, and, having thrown a hasty +angry glance towards the bunk, plucked at a corner of her apron +and asked: + +'What's gone with that boy?' + +'Father, if you'll begin your breakfast, I'll sit by and tell you.' He +looked at her, stirred his tea and took two or three gulps, then cut +at his piece of hot steak with his case-knife, and said, eating: + +'Now then. What's gone with that boy?' + +'Don't be angry, dear. It seems, father, that he has quite a gift of +learning.' + +'Unnat'ral young beggar!' said the parent, shaking his knife in the +air. + +'And that having this gift, and not being equally good at other +things, he has made shift to get some schooling.' + +'Unnat'ral young beggar!' said the parent again, with his former +action. + +'--And that knowing you have nothing to spare, father, and not +wishing to be a burden on you, he gradually made up his mind to +go seek his fortune out of learning. He went away this morning, +father, and he cried very much at going, and he hoped you would +forgive him.' + +'Let him never come a nigh me to ask me my forgiveness,' said the +father, again emphasizing his words with the knife. 'Let him never +come within sight of my eyes, nor yet within reach of my arm. His +own father ain't good enough for him. He's disowned his own +father. His own father therefore, disowns him for ever and ever, as +a unnat'ral young beggar.' + +He had pushed away his plate. With the natural need of a strong +rough man in anger, to do something forcible, he now clutched his +knife overhand, and struck downward with it at the end of every +succeeding sentence. As he would have struck with his own +clenched fist if there had chanced to be nothing in it. + +'He's welcome to go. He's more welcome to go than to stay. But +let him never come back. Let him never put his head inside that +door. And let you never speak a word more in his favour, or you'll +disown your own father, likewise, and what your father says of him +he'll have to come to say of you. Now I see why them men yonder +held aloof from me. They says to one another, "Here comes the +man as ain't good enough for his own son!" Lizzie--!' + +But, she stopped him with a cry. Looking at her he saw her, with a +face quite strange to him, shrinking back against the wall, with her +hands before her eyes. + +'Father, don't! I can't bear to see you striking with it. Put it down!' + +He looked at the knife; but in his astonishment still held it. + +'Father, it's too horrible. O put it down, put it down!' + +Confounded by her appearance and exclamation, he tossed it away, +and stood up with his open hands held out before him. + +'What's come to you, Liz? Can you think I would strike at you +with a knife?' + +'No, father, no; you would never hurt me.' + +'What should I hurt?' + +'Nothing, dear father. On my knees, I am certain, in my heart and +soul I am certain, nothing! But it was too dreadful to bear; for it +looked--' her hands covering her face again, 'O it looked--' + +'What did it look like?' + +The recollection of his murderous figure, combining with her trial +of last night, and her trial of the morning, caused her to drop at his +feet, without having answered. + +He had never seen her so before. He raised her with the utmost +tenderness, calling her the best of daughters, and 'my poor pretty +creetur', and laid her head upon his knee, and tried to restore her. +But failing, he laid her head gently down again, got a pillow and +placed it under her dark hair, and sought on the table for a spoonful +of brandy. There being none left, he hurriedly caught up the empty +bottle, and ran out at the door. + +He returned as hurriedly as he had gone, with the bottle still empty. +He kneeled down by her, took her head on his arm, and moistened +her lips with a little water into which he dipped his fingers: saying, +fiercely, as he looked around, now over this shoulder, now over +that: + +'Have we got a pest in the house? Is there summ'at deadly sticking +to my clothes? What's let loose upon us? Who loosed it?' + + + +Chapter 7 + +MR WEGG LOOKS AFTER HIMSELF + + +Silas Wegg, being on his road to the Roman Empire, approaches it +by way of Clerkenwell. The time is early in the evening; the +weather moist and raw. Mr Wegg finds leisure to make a little +circuit, by reason that he folds his screen early, now that he +combines another source of income with it, and also that he feels it +due to himself to be anxiously expected at the Bower. 'Boffin will +get all the eagerer for waiting a bit,' says Silas, screwing up, as he +stumps along, first his right eye, and then his left. Which is +something superfluous in him, for Nature has already screwed both +pretty tight. + +'If I get on with him as I expect to get on,' Silas pursues, stumping +and meditating, 'it wouldn't become me to leave it here. It wouldn't +he respectable.' Animated by this reflection, he stumps faster, and +looks a long way before him, as a man with an ambitious project in +abeyance often will do. + +Aware of a working-jeweller population taking sanctuary about the +church in Clerkenwell, Mr Wegg is conscious of an interest in, and +a respect for, the neighbourhood. But, his sensations in this regard +halt as to their strict morality, as he halts in his gait; for, they +suggest the delights of a coat of invisibility in which to walk off +safely with the precious stones and watch-cases, but stop short of +any compunction for the people who would lose the same. + +Not, however, towards the 'shops' where cunning artificers work in +pearls and diamonds and gold and silver, making their hands so +rich, that the enriched water in which they wash them is bought for +the refiners;--not towards these does Mr Wegg stump, but towards +the poorer shops of small retail traders in commodities to eat and +drink and keep folks warm, and of Italian frame-makers, and of +barbers, and of brokers, and of dealers in dogs and singing-birds. +From these, in a narrow and a dirty street devoted to such callings, +Mr Wegg selects one dark shop-window with a tallow candle +dimly burning in it, surrounded by a muddle of objects vaguely +resembling pieces of leather and dry stick, but among which +nothing is resolvable into anything distinct, save the candle itself in +its old tin candlestick, and two preserved frogs fighting a small- +sword duel. Stumping with fresh vigour, he goes in at the dark +greasy entry, pushes a little greasy dark reluctant side-door, and +follows the door into the little dark greasy shop. It is so dark that +nothing can be made out in it, over a little counter, but another +tallow candle in another old tin candlestick, close to the face of a +man stooping low in a chair. + +Mr Wegg nods to the face, 'Good evening.' + +The face looking up is a sallow face with weak eyes, surmounted +by a tangle of reddish-dusty hair. The owner of the face has no +cravat on, and has opened his tumbled shirt-collar to work with the +more ease. For the same reason he has no coat on: only a loose +waistcoat over his yellow linen. His eyes are like the over-tried +eyes of an engraver, but he is not that; his expression and stoop are +like those of a shoemaker, but he is not that. + +'Good evening, Mr Venus. Don't you remember?' + +With slowly dawning remembrance, Mr Venus rises, and holds his +candle over the little counter, and holds it down towards the legs, +natural and artificial, of Mr Wegg. + +'To be SURE!' he says, then. 'How do you do?' + +'Wegg, you know,' that gentleman explains. + +'Yes, yes,' says the other. 'Hospital amputation?' + +'Just so,' says Mr Wegg. + +'Yes, yes,' quoth Venus. 'How do you do? Sit down by the fire, +and warm your--your other one.' + +'The little counter being so short a counter that it leaves the +fireplace, which would have been behind it if it had been longer, +accessible, Mr Wegg sits down on a box in front of the fire, and +inhales a warm and comfortable smell which is not the smell of the +shop. 'For that,' Mr Wegg inwardly decides, as he takes a +corrective sniff or two, 'is musty, leathery, feathery, cellary, gluey, +gummy, and,' with another sniff, 'as it might be, strong of old pairs +of bellows.' + +'My tea is drawing, and my muffin is on the hob, Mr Wegg; will +you partake?' + +It being one of Mr Wegg's guiding rules in life always to partake, +he says he will. But, the little shop is so excessively dark, is stuck +so full of black shelves and brackets and nooks and corners, that he +sees Mr Venus's cup and saucer only because it is close under the +candle, and does not see from what mysterious recess Mr Venus +produces another for himself until it is under his nose. +Concurrently, Wegg perceives a pretty little dead bird lying on the +counter, with its head drooping on one side against the rim of Mr +Venus's saucer, and a long stiff wire piercing its breast. As if it +were Cock Robin, the hero of the ballad, and Mr Venus were the +sparrow with his bow and arrow, and Mr Wegg were the fly with +his little eye. + +Mr Venus dives, and produces another muffin, yet untoasted; +taking the arrow out of the breast of Cock Robin, he proceeds to +toast it on the end of that cruel instrument. When it is brown, he +dives again and produces butter, with which he completes his +work. + +Mr Wegg, as an artful man who is sure of his supper by-and-bye, +presses muffin on his host to soothe him into a compliant state of +mind, or, as one might say, to grease his works. As the muffins +disappear, little by little, the black shelves and nooks and corners +begin to appear, and Mr Wegg gradually acquires an imperfect +notion that over against him on the chimney-piece is a Hindoo +baby in a bottle, curved up with his big head tucked under him, as +he would instantly throw a summersault if the bottle were large +enough. + +When he deems Mr Venus's wheels sufficiently lubricated, Mr +Wegg approaches his object by asking, as he lightly taps his hands +together, to express an undesigning frame of mind: + +'And how have I been going on, this long time, Mr Venus?' + +'Very bad,' says Mr Venus, uncompromisingly. + +'What? Am I still at home?' asks Wegg, with an air of surprise. + +'Always at home.' + +This would seem to be secretly agreeable to Wegg, but he veils his +feelings, and observes, 'Strange. To what do you attribute it?' + +'I don't know,' replies Venus, who is a haggard melancholy man, +speaking in a weak voice of querulous complaint, 'to what to +attribute it, Mr Wegg. I can't work you into a miscellaneous one, +no how. Do what I will, you can't be got to fit. Anybody with a +passable knowledge would pick you out at a look, and say,--"No +go! Don't match!"' + +'Well, but hang it, Mr Venus,' Wegg expostulates with some little +irritation, 'that can't be personal and peculiar in ME. It must often +happen with miscellaneous ones.' + +'With ribs (I grant you) always. But not else. When I prepare a +miscellaneous one, I know beforehand that I can't keep to nature, +and be miscellaneous with ribs, because every man has his own +ribs, and no other man's will go with them; but elseways I can be +miscellaneous. I have just sent home a Beauty--a perfect Beauty-- +to a school of art. One leg Belgian, one leg English, and the +pickings of eight other people in it. Talk of not being qualified to +be miscellaneous! By rights you OUGHT to be, Mr Wegg.' + +Silas looks as hard at his one leg as he can in the dim light, and +after a pause sulkily opines 'that it must be the fault of the other +people. Or how do you mean to say it comes about?' he demands +impatiently. + +'I don't know how it comes about. Stand up a minute. Hold the +light.' Mr Venus takes from a corner by his chair, the bones of a +leg and foot, beautifully pure, and put together with exquisite +neatness. These he compares with Mr Wegg's leg; that gentleman +looking on, as if he were being measured for a riding-boot. 'No, I +don't know how it is, but so it is. You have got a twist in that +bone, to the best of my belief. I never saw the likes of you.' + +Mr Wegg having looked distrustfully at his own limb, and +suspiciously at the pattern with which it has been compared, +makes the point: + +'I'll bet a pound that ain't an English one!' + +'An easy wager, when we run so much into foreign! No, it belongs +to that French gentleman.' + +As he nods towards a point of darkness behind Mr Wegg, the +latter, with a slight start, looks round for 'that French gentleman,' +whom he at length descries to be represented (in a very +workmanlike manner) by his ribs only, standing on a shelf in +another corner, like a piece of armour or a pair of stays. + +'Oh!' says Mr Wegg, with a sort of sense of being introduced; 'I +dare say you were all right enough in your own country, but I hope +no objections will be taken to my saying that the Frenchman was +never yet born as I should wish to match.' + +At this moment the greasy door is violently pushed inward, and a +boy follows it, who says, after having let it slam: + +'Come for the stuffed canary.' + +'It's three and ninepence,' returns Venus; 'have you got the money?' + +The boy produces four shillings. Mr Venus, always in exceedingly +low spirits and making whimpering sounds, peers about for the +stuffed canary. On his taking the candle to assist his search, Mr +Wegg observes that he has a convenient little shelf near his knees, +exclusively appropriated to skeleton hands, which have very much +the appearance of wanting to lay hold of him. From these Mr +Venus rescues the canary in a glass case, and shows it to the boy. + +'There!' he whimpers. 'There's animation! On a twig, making up +his mind to hop! Take care of him; he's a lovely specimen.--And +three is four.' + +The boy gathers up his change and has pulled the door open by a +leather strap nailed to it for the purpose, when Venus cries out: + +'Stop him! Come back, you young villain! You've got a tooth +among them halfpence.' + +'How was I to know I'd got it? You giv it me. I don't want none of +your teeth; I've got enough of my own.' So the boy pipes, as he +selects it from his change, and throws it on the counter. + +'Don't sauce ME, in the wicious pride of your youth,' Mr Venus +retorts pathetically.' Don't hit ME because you see I'm down. I'm +low enough without that. It dropped into the till, I suppose. They +drop into everything. There was two in the coffee-pot at breakfast +time. Molars.' + +'Very well, then,' argues the boy, 'what do you call names for?' + +To which Mr Venus only replies, shaking his shock of dusty hair, +and winking his weak eyes, 'Don't sauce ME, in the wicious pride +of your youth; don't hit ME, because you see I'm down. You've no +idea how small you'd come out, if I had the articulating of you.' + +This consideration seems to have its effect on the boy, for he goes +out grumbling. + +'Oh dear me, dear me!' sighs Mr Venus, heavily, snuffing the +candle, 'the world that appeared so flowery has ceased to blow! +You're casting your eye round the shop, Mr Wegg. Let me show +you a light. My working bench. My young man's bench. A Wice. +Tools. Bones, warious. Skulls, warious. Preserved Indian baby. +African ditto. Bottled preparations, warious. Everything within +reach of your hand, in good preservation. The mouldy ones a-top. +What's in those hampers over them again, I don't quite remember. +Say, human warious. Cats. Articulated English baby. Dogs. +Ducks. Glass eyes, warious. Mummied bird. Dried cuticle, +warious. Oh, dear me! That's the general panoramic view.' + +Having so held and waved the candle as that all these +heterogeneous objects seemed to come forward obediently when +they were named, and then retire again, Mr Venus despondently +repeats, 'Oh dear me, dear me!' resumes his seat, and with +drooping despondency upon him, falls to pouring himself out more +tea. + +'Where am I?' asks Mr Wegg. + +'You're somewhere in the back shop across the yard, sir; and +speaking quite candidly, I wish I'd never bought you of the +Hospital Porter.' + +'Now, look here, what did you give for me?' + +'Well,' replies Venus, blowing his tea: his head and face peering +out of the darkness, over the smoke of it, as if he were modernizing +the old original rise in his family: 'you were one of a warious lot, +and I don't know.' + +Silas puts his point in the improved form of 'What will you take +for me?' + +'Well,' replies Venus, still blowing his tea, 'I'm not prepared, at a +moment's notice, to tell you, Mr Wegg.' + +'Come! According to your own account I'm not worth much,' +Wegg reasons persuasively. + +'Not for miscellaneous working in, I grant you, Mr Wegg; but you +might turn out valuable yet, as a--' here Mr Venus takes a gulp of +tea, so hot that it makes him choke, and sets his weak eyes +watering; 'as a Monstrosity, if you'll excuse me.' + +Repressing an indignant look, indicative of anything but a +disposition to excuse him, Silas pursues his point. + +'I think you know me, Mr Venus, and I think you know I never +bargain.' + +Mr Venus takes gulps of hot tea, shutting his eyes at every gulp, +and opening them again in a spasmodic manner; but does not +commit himself to assent. + +'I have a prospect of getting on in life and elevating myself by my +own independent exertions,' says Wegg, feelingly, 'and I shouldn't +like--I tell you openly I should NOT like--under such +circumstances, to be what I may call dispersed, a part of me here, +and a part of me there, but should wish to collect myself like a +genteel person.' + +'It's a prospect at present, is it, Mr Wegg? Then you haven't got the +money for a deal about you? Then I'll tell you what I'll do with +you; I'll hold you over. I am a man of my word, and you needn't be +afraid of my disposing of you. I'll hold you over. That's a promise. +Oh dear me, dear me!' + +Fain to accept his promise, and wishing to propitiate him, Mr +Wegg looks on as he sighs and pours himself out more tea, and +then says, trying to get a sympathetic tone into his voice: + +'You seem very low, Mr Venus. Is business bad?' + +'Never was so good.' + +'Is your hand out at all?' + +'Never was so well in. Mr Wegg, I'm not only first in the trade, but +I'm THE trade. You may go and buy a skeleton at the West End if +you like, and pay the West End price, but it'll be my putting +together. I've as much to do as I can possibly do, with the +assistance of my young man, and I take a pride and a pleasure in +it.' + +Mr Venus thus delivers himself, his right hand extended, his +smoking saucer in his left hand, protesting as though he were +going to burst into a flood of tears. + +'That ain't a state of things to make you low, Mr Venus.' + +'Mr Wegg, I know it ain't. Mr Wegg, not to name myself as a +workman without an equal, I've gone on improving myself in my +knowledge of Anatomy, till both by sight and by name I'm perfect. +Mr Wegg, if you was brought here loose in a bag to be articulated, +I'd name your smallest bones blindfold equally with your largest, +as fast as I could pick 'em out, and I'd sort 'em all, and sort your +wertebrae, in a manner that would equally surprise and charm you.' + +'Well,' remarks Silas (though not quite so readily as last time), +'THAT ain't a state of things to be low about.--Not for YOU to be +low about, leastways.' + +'Mr Wegg, I know it ain't; Mr Wegg, I know it ain't. But it's the +heart that lowers me, it is the heart! Be so good as take and read +that card out loud.' + +Silas receives one from his hand, which Venus takes from a +wonderful litter in a drawer, and putting on his spectacles, reads: + +'"Mr Venus,"' + +'Yes. Go on.' + +'"Preserver of Animals and Birds,"' + +'Yes. Go on.' + +'"Articulator of human bones."' + +'That's it,' with a groan. 'That's it! Mr Wegg, I'm thirty-two, and a +bachelor. Mr Wegg, I love her. Mr Wegg, she is worthy of being +loved by a Potentate!' Here Silas is rather alarmed by Mr Venus's +springing to his feet in the hurry of his spirits, and haggardly +confronting him with his hand on his coat collar; but Mr Venus, +begging pardon, sits down again, saying, with the calmness of +despair, 'She objects to the business.' + +'Does she know the profits of it?' + +'She knows the profits of it, but she don't appreciate the art of it, +and she objects to it. "I do not wish," she writes in her own +handwriting, "to regard myself, nor yet to be regarded, in that +boney light".' + +Mr Venus pours himself out more tea, with a look and in an +attitude of the deepest desolation. + +'And so a man climbs to the top of the tree, Mr Wegg, only to see +that there's no look-out when he's up there! I sit here of a night +surrounded by the lovely trophies of my art, and what have they +done for me? Ruined me. Brought me to the pass of being +informed that "she does not wish to regard herself, nor yet to be +regarded, in that boney light"!' Having repeated the fatal +expressions, Mr Venus drinks more tea by gulps, and offers an +explanation of his doing so. + +'It lowers me. When I'm equally lowered all over, lethargy sets in. +By sticking to it till one or two in the morning, I get oblivion. +Don't let me detain you, Mr Wegg. I'm not company for any one.' + +'It is not on that account,' says Silas, rising, 'but because I've got an +appointment. It's time I was at Harmon's.' + +'Eh?' said Mr Venus. 'Harmon's, up Battle Bridge way?' + +Mr Wegg admits that he is bound for that port. + +'You ought to be in a good thing, if you've worked yourself in +there. There's lots of money going, there.' + +'To think,' says Silas, 'that you should catch it up so quick, and +know about it. Wonderful!' + +'Not at all, Mr Wegg. The old gentleman wanted to know the +nature and worth of everything that was found in the dust; and +many's the bone, and feather, and what not, that he's brought to +me.' + +'Really, now!' + +'Yes. (Oh dear me, dear me!) And he's buried quite in this +neighbourhood, you know. Over yonder.' + +Mr Wegg does not know, but he makes as if he did, by +responsively nodding his head. He also follows with his eyes, the +toss of Venus's head: as if to seek a direction to over yonder. + +'I took an interest in that discovery in the river,' says Venus. (She +hadn't written her cutting refusal at that time.) I've got up there-- +never mind, though.' + +He had raised the candle at arm's length towards one of the dark +shelves, and Mr Wegg had turned to look, when he broke off. + +'The old gentleman was well known all round here. There used to +be stories about his having hidden all kinds of property in those +dust mounds. I suppose there was nothing in 'em. Probably you +know, Mr Wegg?' + +'Nothing in 'em,' says Wegg, who has never heard a word of this +before. + +'Don't let me detain you. Good night!' + +The unfortunate Mr Venus gives him a shake of the hand with a +shake of his own head, and drooping down in his chair, proceeds +to pour himself out more tea. Mr Wegg, looking back over his +shoulder as he pulls the door open by the strap, notices that the +movement so shakes the crazy shop, and so shakes a momentary +flare out of the candle, as that the babies--Hindoo, African, and +British--the 'human warious', the French gentleman, the green +glass-eyed cats, the dogs, the ducks, and all the rest of the +collection, show for an instant as if paralytically animated; while +even poor little Cock Robin at Mr Venus's elbow turns over on his +innocent side. Next moment, Mr Wegg is stumping under the +gaslights and through the mud. + + + +Chapter 8 + +MR BOFFIN IN CONSULTATION + + +Whosoever had gone out of Fleet Street into the Temple at the date +of this history, and had wandered disconsolate about the Temple +until he stumbled on a dismal churchyard, and had looked up at the +dismal windows commanding that churchyard until at the most +dismal window of them all he saw a dismal boy, would in him +have beheld, at one grand comprehensive swoop of the eye, the +managing clerk, junior clerk, common-law clerk, conveyancing +clerk, chancery clerk, every refinement and department of clerk, of +Mr Mortimer Lightwood, erewhile called in the newspapers +eminent solicitor. + +Mr Boffin having been several times in communication with this +clerkly essence, both on its own ground and at the Bower, had no +difficulty in identifying it when he saw it up in its dusty eyrie. To +the second floor on which the window was situated, he ascended, +much pre-occupied in mind by the uncertainties besetting the +Roman Empire, and much regretting the death of the amiable +Pertinax: who only last night had left the Imperial affairs in a state +of great confusion, by falling a victim to the fury of the praetorian +guards. + +'Morning, morning, morning!' said Mr Boffin, with a wave of his +hand, as the office door was opened by the dismal boy, whose +appropriate name was Blight. 'Governor in?' + +'Mr Lightwood gave you an appointment, sir, I think?' + +'I don't want him to give it, you know,' returned Mr Boffin; 'I'll pay +my way, my boy.' + +'No doubt, sir. Would you walk in? Mr Lightwood ain't in at the +present moment, but I expect him back very shortly. Would you +take a seat in Mr Lightwood's room, sir, while I look over our +Appointment Book?' Young Blight made a great show of fetching +from his desk a long thin manuscript volume with a brown paper +cover, and running his finger down the day's appointments, +murmuring, 'Mr Aggs, Mr Baggs, Mr Caggs, Mr Daggs, Mr +Faggs, Mr Gaggs, Mr Boffin. Yes, sir; quite right. You are a little +before your time, sir. Mr Lightwood will be in directly.' + +'I'm not in a hurry,' said Mr Boffin + +'Thank you, sir. I'll take the opportunity, if you please, of entering +your name in our Callers' Book for the day.' Young Blight made +another great show of changing the volume, taking up a pen, +sucking it, dipping it, and running over previous entries before he +wrote. As, 'Mr Alley, Mr Balley, Mr Calley, Mr Dalley, Mr +Falley, Mr Galley, Mr Halley, Mr Lalley, Mr Malley. And Mr +Boffin.' + +'Strict system here; eh, my lad?' said Mr Boffin, as he was booked. + +'Yes, sir,' returned the boy. 'I couldn't get on without it.' + +By which he probably meant that his mind would have been +shattered to pieces without this fiction of an occupation. Wearing +in his solitary confinement no fetters that he could polish, and +being provided with no drinking-cup that he could carve, he had +fallen on the device of ringing alphabetical changes into the two +volumes in question, or of entering vast numbers of persons out of +the Directory as transacting business with Mr Lightwood. It was +the more necessary for his spirits, because, being of a sensitive +temperament, he was apt to consider it personally disgraceful to +himself that his master had no clients. + +'How long have you been in the law, now?' asked Mr Boffin, with +a pounce, in his usual inquisitive way. + +'I've been in the law, now, sir, about three years.' + +'Must have been as good as born in it!' said Mr Boffin, with +admiration. 'Do you like it?' + +'I don't mind it much,' returned Young Blight, heaving a sigh, as if +its bitterness were past. + +'What wages do you get?' + +'Half what I could wish,' replied young Blight. + +'What's the whole that you could wish?' + +'Fifteen shillings a week,' said the boy. + +'About how long might it take you now, at a average rate of going, +to be a Judge?' asked Mr Boffin, after surveying his small stature +in silence. + +The boy answered that he had not yet quite worked out that little +calculation. + +'I suppose there's nothing to prevent your going in for it?' said Mr +Boffin. + +The boy virtually replied that as he had the honour to be a Briton +who never never never, there was nothing to prevent his going in +for it. Yet he seemed inclined to suspect that there might be +something to prevent his coming out with it. + +'Would a couple of pound help you up at all?' asked Mr Boffin. + +On this head, young Blight had no doubt whatever, so Mr Boffin +made him a present of that sum of money, and thanked him for his +attention to his (Mr Boffin's) affairs; which, he added, were now, +he believed, as good as settled. + +Then Mr Boffin, with his stick at his ear, like a Familiar Spirit +explaining the office to him, sat staring at a little bookcase of Law +Practice and Law Reports, and at a window, and at an empty blue +bag, and at a stick of sealing-wax, and a pen, and a box of wafers, +and an apple, and a writing-pad--all very dusty--and at a number of +inky smears and blots, and at an imperfectly-disguised gun-case +pretending to be something legal, and at an iron box labelled +HARMON ESTATE, until Mr Lightwood appeared. + +Mr Lightwood explained that he came from the proctor's, with +whom he had been engaged in transacting Mr Boffin's affairs. + +'And they seem to have taken a deal out of you!' said Mr Boffin, +with commiseration. + +Mr Lightwood, without explaining that his weariness was chronic, +proceeded with his exposition that, all forms of law having been at +length complied with, will of Harmon deceased having been +proved, death of Harmon next inheriting having been proved, &c., +and so forth, Court of Chancery having been moved, &c. and so +forth, he, Mr Lightwood, had now the gratification, honour, and +happiness, again &c. and so forth, of congratulating Mr Boffin on +coming into possession as residuary legatee, of upwards of one +hundred thousand pounds, standing in the books of the Governor +and Company of the Bank of England, again &c. and so forth. + +'And what is particularly eligible in the property Mr Boffin, is, that +it involves no trouble. There are no estates to manage, no rents to +return so much per cent upon in bad times (which is an extremely +dear way of getting your name into the newspapers), no voters to +become parboiled in hot water with, no agents to take the cream off +the milk before it comes to table. You could put the whole in a +cash-box to-morrow morning, and take it with you to--say, to the +Rocky Mountains. Inasmuch as every man,' concluded Mr +Lightwood, with an indolent smile, 'appears to be under a fatal +spell which obliges him, sooner or later, to mention the Rocky +Mountains in a tone of extreme familiarity to some other man, I +hope you'll excuse my pressing you into the service of that gigantic +range of geographical bores.' + +Without following this last remark very closely, Mr Boffin cast his +perplexed gaze first at the ceiling, and then at the carpet. + +'Well,' he remarked, 'I don't know what to say about it, I am sure. I +was a'most as well as I was. It's a great lot to take care of.' + +'My dear Mr Boffin, then DON'T take care of it!' + +'Eh?' said that gentleman. + +'Speaking now,' returned Mortimer, 'with the irresponsible +imbecility of a private individual, and not with the profundity of a +professional adviser, I should say that if the circumstance of its +being too much, weighs upon your mind, you have the haven of +consolation open to you that you can easily make it less. And if +you should be apprehensive of the trouble of doing so, there is the +further haven of consolation that any number of people will take +the trouble off your hands.' + +'Well! I don't quite see it,' retorted Mr Boffin, still perplexed. +'That's not satisfactory, you know, what you're a-saying.' + +'Is Anything satisfactory, Mr Boffin?' asked Mortimer, raising his +eyebrows. + +'I used to find it so,' answered Mr Boffin, with a wistful look. +'While I was foreman at the Bower--afore it WAS the Bower--I +considered the business very satisfactory. The old man was a +awful Tartar (saying it, I'm sure, without disrespect to his memory) +but the business was a pleasant one to look after, from before +daylight to past dark. It's a'most a pity,' said Mr Boffin, rubbing +his ear, 'that he ever went and made so much money. It would +have been better for him if he hadn't so given himself up to it. You +may depend upon it,' making the discovery all of a sudden, 'that +HE found it a great lot to take care of!' + +Mr Lightwood coughed, not convinced. + +'And speaking of satisfactory,' pursued Mr Boffin, 'why, Lord +save us! when we come to take it to pieces, bit by bit, where's the +satisfactoriness of the money as yet? When the old man does right +the poor boy after all, the poor boy gets no good of it. He gets +made away with, at the moment when he's lifting (as one may say) +the cup and sarser to his lips. Mr Lightwood, I will now name to +you, that on behalf of the poor dear boy, me and Mrs Boffin have +stood out against the old man times out of number, till he has +called us every name he could lay his tongue to. I have seen him, +after Mrs Boffin has given him her mind respecting the claims of +the nat'ral affections, catch off Mrs Boffin's bonnet (she wore, in +general, a black straw, perched as a matter of convenience on the +top of her head), and send it spinning across the yard. I have +indeed. And once, when he did this in a manner that amounted to +personal, I should have given him a rattler for himself, if Mrs +Boffin hadn't thrown herself betwixt us, and received flush on the +temple. Which dropped her, Mr Lightwood. Dropped her.' + +Mr Lightwood murmured 'Equal honour--Mrs Boffin's head and +heart.' + +'You understand; I name this,' pursued Mr Boffin, 'to show you, +now the affairs are wound up, that me and Mrs Boffin have ever +stood as we were in Christian honour bound, the children's friend. +Me and Mrs Boffin stood the poor girl's friend; me and Mrs Boffin +stood the poor boy's friend; me and Mrs Boffin up and faced the +old man when we momently expected to be turned out for our +pains. As to Mrs Boffin,' said Mr Boffin lowering his voice, 'she +mightn't wish it mentioned now she's Fashionable, but she went so +far as to tell him, in my presence, he was a flinty-hearted rascal.' + +Mr Lightwood murmured 'Vigorous Saxon spirit--Mrs Boffin's +ancestors--bowmen--Agincourt and Cressy.' + +'The last time me and Mrs Boffin saw the poor boy,' said Mr +Boffin, warming (as fat usually does) with a tendency to melt, 'he +was a child of seven year old. For when he came back to make +intercession for his sister, me and Mrs Boffin were away +overlooking a country contract which was to be sifted before +carted, and he was come and gone in a single hour. I say he was a +child of seven year old. He was going away, all alone and forlorn, +to that foreign school, and he come into our place, situate up the +yard of the present Bower, to have a warm at our fire. There was +his little scanty travelling clothes upon him. There was his little +scanty box outside in the shivering wind, which I was going to +carry for him down to the steamboat, as the old man wouldn't hear +of allowing a sixpence coach-money. Mrs Boffin, then quite a +young woman and pictur of a full-blown rose, stands him by her, +kneels down at the fire, warms her two open hands, and falls to +rubbing his cheeks; but seeing the tears come into the child's eyes, +the tears come fast into her own, and she holds him round the +neck, like as if she was protecting him, and cries to me, "I'd give +the wide wide world, I would, to run away with him!" I don't say +but what it cut me, and but what it at the same time heightened my +feelings of admiration for Mrs Boffin. The poor child clings to her +for awhile, as she clings to him, and then, when the old man calls, +he says "I must go! God bless you!" and for a moment rests his +heart against her bosom, and looks up at both of us, as if it was in +pain--in agony. Such a look! I went aboard with him (I gave him +first what little treat I thought he'd like), and I left him when he +had fallen asleep in his berth, and I came back to Mrs Boffin. But +tell her what I would of how I had left him, it all went for nothing, +for, according to her thoughts, he never changed that look that he +had looked up at us two. But it did one piece of good. Mrs Boffin +and me had no child of our own, and had sometimes wished that +how we had one. But not now. "We might both of us die," says +Mrs Boffin, "and other eyes might see that lonely look in our +child." So of a night, when it was very cold, or when the wind +roared, or the rain dripped heavy, she would wake sobbing, and +call out in a fluster, "Don't you see the poor child's face? O shelter +the poor child!"--till in course of years it gently wore out, as many +things do.' + +'My dear Mr Boffin, everything wears to rags,' said Mortimer, with +a light laugh. + +'I won't go so far as to say everything,' returned Mr Boffin, on +whom his manner seemed to grate, 'because there's some things +that I never found among the dust. Well, sir. So Mrs Boffin and +me grow older and older in the old man's service, living and +working pretty hard in it, till the old man is discovered dead in his +bed. Then Mrs Boffin and me seal up his box, always standing on +the table at the side of his bed, and having frequently heerd tell of +the Temple as a spot where lawyer's dust is contracted for, I come +down here in search of a lawyer to advise, and I see your young +man up at this present elevation, chopping at the flies on the +window-sill with his penknife, and I give him a Hoy! not then +having the pleasure of your acquaintance, and by that means come +to gain the honour. Then you, and the gentleman in the +uncomfortable neck-cloth under the little archway in Saint Paul's +Churchyard--' + +'Doctors' Commons,' observed Lightwood. + +'I understood it was another name,' said Mr Boffin, pausing, 'but +you know best. Then you and Doctor Scommons, you go to work, +and you do the thing that's proper, and you and Doctor S. take +steps for finding out the poor boy, and at last you do find out the +poor boy, and me and Mrs Boffin often exchange the observation, +"We shall see him again, under happy circumstances." But it was +never to be; and the want of satisfactoriness is, that after all the +money never gets to him.' + +'But it gets,' remarked Lightwood, with a languid inclination of the +head, 'into excellent hands.' + +'It gets into the hands of me and Mrs Boffin only this very day and +hour, and that's what I am working round to, having waited for +this day and hour a' purpose. Mr Lightwood, here has been a +wicked cruel murder. By that murder me and Mrs Boffin +mysteriously profit. For the apprehension and conviction of the +murderer, we offer a reward of one tithe of the property--a reward +of Ten Thousand Pound.' + +'Mr Boffin, it's too much.' + +'Mr Lightwood, me and Mrs Boffin have fixed the sum together, +and we stand to it.' + +'But let me represent to you,' returned Lightwood, 'speaking now +with professional profundity, and not with individual imbecility, +that the offer of such an immense reward is a temptation to forced +suspicion, forced construction of circumstances, strained +accusation, a whole tool-box of edged tools.' + +'Well,' said Mr Boffin, a little staggered, 'that's the sum we put o' +one side for the purpose. Whether it shall be openly declared in the +new notices that must now be put about in our names--' + +'In your name, Mr Boffin; in your name.' + +'Very well; in my name, which is the same as Mrs Boffin's, and +means both of us, is to be considered in drawing 'em up. But this +is the first instruction that I, as the owner of the property, give to +my lawyer on coming into it.' + +'Your lawyer, Mr Boffin,' returned Lightwood, making a very short +note of it with a very rusty pen, 'has the gratification of taking the +instruction. There is another?' + +'There is just one other, and no more. Make me as compact a little +will as can be reconciled with tightness, leaving the whole of the +property to "my beloved wife, Henerietty Boffin, sole executrix". +Make it as short as you can, using those words; but make it tight.' + +At some loss to fathom Mr Boffin's notions of a tight will, +Lightwood felt his way. + +'I beg your pardon, but professional profundity must be exact. +When you say tight--' + +'I mean tight,' Mr Boffin explained. + +'Exactly so. And nothing can be more laudable. But is the +tightness to bind Mrs Boffin to any and what conditions?' + +'Bind Mrs Boffin?' interposed her husband. 'No! What are you +thinking of! What I want is, to make it all hers so tight as that her +hold of it can't be loosed.' + +'Hers freely, to do what she likes with? Hers absolutely?' + +'Absolutely?' repeated Mr Boffin, with a short sturdy laugh. 'Hah! +I should think so! It would be handsome in me to begin to bind +Mrs Boffin at this time of day!' + +So that instruction, too, was taken by Mr Lightwood; and Mr +Lightwood, having taken it, was in the act of showing Mr Boffin +out, when Mr Eugene Wrayburn almost jostled him in the door- +way. Consequently Mr Lightwood said, in his cool manner, 'Let +me make you two known to one another,' and further signified that +Mr Wrayburn was counsel learned in the law, and that, partly in +the way of business and partly in the way of pleasure, he had +imparted to Mr Wrayburn some of the interesting facts of Mr +Boffin's biography. + +'Delighted,' said Eugene--though he didn't look so--'to know Mr +Boffin.' + +'Thankee, sir, thankee,' returned that gentleman. 'And how do +YOU like the law?' + +'A--not particularly,' returned Eugene. + +'Too dry for you, eh? Well, I suppose it wants some years of +sticking to, before you master it. But there's nothing like work. +Look at the bees.' + +'I beg your pardon,' returned Eugene, with a reluctant smile, 'but +will you excuse my mentioning that I always protest against being +referred to the bees?' + +'Do you!' said Mr Boffin. + +'I object on principle,' said Eugene, 'as a biped--' + +'As a what?' asked Mr Boffin. + +'As a two-footed creature;--I object on principle, as a two-footed +creature, to being constantly referred to insects and four-footed +creatures. I object to being required to model my proceedings +according to the proceedings of the bee, or the dog, or the spider, or +the camel. I fully admit that the camel, for instance, is an +excessively temperate person; but he has several stomachs to +entertain himself with, and I have only one. Besides, I am not +fitted up with a convenient cool cellar to keep my drink in.' + +'But I said, you know,' urged Mr Boffin, rather at a loss for an +answer, 'the bee.' + +'Exactly. And may I represent to you that it's injudicious to say the +bee? For the whole case is assumed. Conceding for a moment that +there is any analogy between a bee, and a man in a shirt and +pantaloons (which I deny), and that it is settled that the man is to +learn from the bee (which I also deny), the question still remains, +what is he to learn? To imitate? Or to avoid? When your friends +the bees worry themselves to that highly fluttered extent about their +sovereign, and become perfectly distracted touching the slightest +monarchical movement, are we men to learn the greatness of Tuft- +hunting, or the littleness of the Court Circular? I am not clear, Mr +Boffin, but that the hive may be satirical.' + +'At all events, they work,' said Mr Boffin. + +'Ye-es,' returned Eugene, disparagingly, 'they work; but don't you +think they overdo it? They work so much more than they need-- +they make so much more than they can eat--they are so incessantly +boring and buzzing at their one idea till Death comes upon them-- +that don't you think they overdo it? And are human labourers to +have no holidays, because of the bees? And am I never to have +change of air, because the bees don't? Mr Boffin, I think honey +excellent at breakfast; but, regarded in the light of my conventional +schoolmaster and moralist, I protest against the tyrannical humbug +of your friend the bee. With the highest respect for you.' + +'Thankee,' said Mr Boffin. 'Morning, morning!' + +But, the worthy Mr Boffin jogged away with a comfortless +impression he could have dispensed with, that there was a deal of +unsatisfactoriness in the world, besides what he had recalled as +appertaining to the Harmon property. And he was still jogging +along Fleet Street in this condition of mind, when he became aware +that he was closely tracked and observed by a man of genteel +appearance. + +'Now then?' said Mr Boffin, stopping short, with his meditations +brought to an abrupt check, 'what's the next article?' + +'I beg your pardon, Mr Boffin.' + +'My name too, eh? How did you come by it? I don't know you.' + +'No, sir, you don't know me.' + +Mr Boffin looked full at the man, and the man looked full at him. + +'No,' said Mr Boffin, after a glance at the pavement, as if it were +made of faces and he were trying to match the man's, 'I DON'T +know you.' + +'I am nobody,' said the stranger, 'and not likely to be known; but +Mr Boffin's wealth--' + +'Oh! that's got about already, has it?' muttered Mr Boffin. + +'--And his romantic manner of acquiring it, make him conspicuous. +You were pointed out to me the other day.' + +'Well,' said Mr Boffin, 'I should say I was a disappintment to you +when I WAS pinted out, if your politeness would allow you to +confess it, for I am well aware I am not much to look at. What +might you want with me? Not in the law, are you?' + +'No, sir.' + +'No information to give, for a reward?' + +'No, sir.' + +There may have been a momentary mantling in the face of the man +as he made the last answer, but it passed directly. + +'If I don't mistake, you have followed me from my lawyer's and +tried to fix my attention. Say out! Have you? Or haven't you?' +demanded Mr Boffin, rather angry. + +'Yes.' + +'Why have you?' + +'If you will allow me to walk beside you, Mr Boffin, I will tell you. +Would you object to turn aside into this place--I think it is called +Clifford's Inn--where we can hear one another better than in the +roaring street?' + +('Now,' thought Mr Boffin, 'if he proposes a game at skittles, or +meets a country gentleman just come into property, or produces +any article of jewellery he has found, I'll knock him down!' With +this discreet reflection, and carrying his stick in his arms much as +Punch carries his, Mr Boffin turned into Clifford's Inn aforesaid.) + +'Mr Boffin, I happened to be in Chancery Lane this morning, when +I saw you going along before me. I took the liberty of following +you, trying to make up my mind to speak to you, till you went into +your lawyer's. Then I waited outside till you came out.' + +('Don't quite sound like skittles, nor yet country gentleman, nor yet +jewellery,' thought Mr Boffin, 'but there's no knowing.') + +'I am afraid my object is a bold one, I am afraid it has little of the +usual practical world about it, but I venture it. If you ask me, or if +you ask yourself--which is more likely--what emboldens me, I +answer, I have been strongly assured, that you are a man of +rectitude and plain dealing, with the soundest of sound hearts, and +that you are blessed in a wife distinguished by the same qualities.' + +'Your information is true of Mrs Boffin, anyhow,' was Mr Boffin's +answer, as he surveyed his new friend again. There was +something repressed in the strange man's manner, and he walked +with his eyes on the ground--though conscious, for all that, of Mr +Boffin's observation--and he spoke in a subdued voice. But his +words came easily, and his voice was agreeable in tone, albeit +constrained. + +'When I add, I can discern for myself what the general tongue says +of you--that you are quite unspoiled by Fortune, and not uplifted--I +trust you will not, as a man of an open nature, suspect that I mean +to flatter you, but will believe that all I mean is to excuse myself, +these being my only excuses for my present intrusion.' + +('How much?' thought Mr Boffin. 'It must be coming to money. +How much?') + +'You will probably change your manner of living, Mr Boffin, in +your changed circumstances. You will probably keep a larger +house, have many matters to arrange, and be beset by numbers of +correspondents. If you would try me as your Secretary--' + +'As WHAT?' cried Mr Boffin, with his eyes wide open. + +'Your Secretary.' + +'Well,' said Mr Boffin, under his breath, 'that's a queer thing!' + +'Or,' pursued the stranger, wondering at Mr Boffin's wonder, 'if you +would try me as your man of business under any name, I know you +would find me faithful and grateful, and I hope you would find me +useful. You may naturally think that my immediate object is +money. Not so, for I would willingly serve you a year--two years-- +any term you might appoint--before that should begin to be a +consideration between us.' + +'Where do you come from?' asked Mr Boffin. + +'I come,' returned the other, meeting his eye, 'from many countries.' + +Boffin's acquaintances with the names and situations of foreign +lands being limited in extent and somewhat confused in quality, he +shaped his next question on an elastic model. + +'From--any particular place?' + +'I have been in many places.' + +'What have you been?' asked Mr Boffin. + +Here again he made no great advance, for the reply was, 'I have +been a student and a traveller.' + +'But if it ain't a liberty to plump it out,' said Mr Boffin, 'what do +you do for your living?' + +'I have mentioned,' returned the other, with another look at him, +and a smile, 'what I aspire to do. I have been superseded as to +some slight intentions I had, and I may say that I have now to +begin life.' + +Not very well knowing how to get rid of this applicant, and +feeling the more embarrassed because his manner and appearance +claimed a delicacy in which the worthy Mr Boffin feared he +himself might be deficient, that gentleman glanced into the mouldy +little plantation or cat-preserve, of Clifford's Inn, as it was that day, +in search of a suggestion. Sparrows were there, cats were there, +dry-rot and wet-rot were there, but it was not otherwise a +suggestive spot. + +'All this time,' said the stranger, producing a little pocket-book and +taking out a card, 'I have not mentioned my name. My name is +Rokesmith. I lodge at one Mr Wilfer's, at Holloway.' + +Mr Boffin stared again. + +'Father of Miss Bella Wilfer?' said he. + +'My landlord has a daughter named Bella. Yes; no doubt.' + +Now, this name had been more or less in Mr Boffin's thoughts all +the morning, and for days before; therefore he said: + +'That's singular, too!' unconsciously staring again, past all bounds +of good manners, with the card in his hand. 'Though, by-the-bye, I +suppose it was one of that family that pinted me out?' + +'No. I have never been in the streets with one of them.' + +'Heard me talked of among 'em, though?' + +'No. I occupy my own rooms, and have held scarcely any +communication with them.' + +'Odder and odder!' said Mr Boffin. 'Well, sir, to tell you the truth, I +don't know what to say to you.' + +'Say nothing,' returned Mr Rokesmith; 'allow me to call on you in a +few days. I am not so unconscionable as to think it likely that you +would accept me on trust at first sight, and take me out of the very +street. Let me come to you for your further opinion, at your +leisure.' + +'That's fair, and I don't object,' said Mr Boffin; 'but it must be on +condition that it's fully understood that I no more know that I shall +ever be in want of any gentleman as Secretary--it WAS Secretary +you said; wasn't it?' + +'Yes.' + +Again Mr Boffin's eyes opened wide, and he stared at the applicant +from head to foot, repeating 'Queer!--You're sure it was Secretary? +Are you?' + +'I am sure I said so.' + +--'As Secretary,' repeated Mr Boffin, meditating upon the word; 'I +no more know that I may ever want a Secretary, or what not, than I +do that I shall ever be in want of the man in the moon. Me and +Mrs Boffin have not even settled that we shall make any change in +our way of life. Mrs Boffin's inclinations certainly do tend towards +Fashion; but, being already set up in a fashionable way at the +Bower, she may not make further alterations. However, sir, as you +don't press yourself, I wish to meet you so far as saying, by all +means call at the Bower if you like. Call in the course of a week or +two. At the same time, I consider that I ought to name, in addition +to what I have already named, that I have in my employment a +literary man--WITH a wooden leg--as I have no thoughts of +parting from.' + +'I regret to hear I am in some sort anticipated,' Mr Rokesmith +answered, evidently having heard it with surprise; 'but perhaps +other duties might arise?' + +'You see,' returned Mr Boffin, with a confidential sense of dignity, +'as to my literary man's duties, they're clear. Professionally he +declines and he falls, and as a friend he drops into poetry.' + +Without observing that these duties seemed by no means clear to +Mr Rokesmith's astonished comprehension, Mr Boffin went on: + +'And now, sir, I'll wish you good-day. You can call at the Bower +any time in a week or two. It's not above a mile or so from you, +and your landlord can direct you to it. But as he may not know it +by it's new name of Boffin's Bower, say, when you inquire of him, +it's Harmon's; will you?' + +'Harmoon's,' repeated Mr Rokesmith, seeming to have caught the +sound imperfectly, 'Harmarn's. How do you spell it?' + +'Why, as to the spelling of it,' returned Mr Boffin, with great +presence of mind, 'that's YOUR look out. Harmon's is all you've +got to say to HIM. Morning, morning, morning!' And so departed, +without looking back. + + + +Chapter 9 + +MR AND MRS BOFFIN IN CONSULTATION + + +Betaking himself straight homeward, Mr Boffin, without further let +or hindrance, arrived at the Bower, and gave Mrs Boffin (in a +walking dress of black velvet and feathers, like a mourning coach- +horse) an account of all he had said and done since breakfast. + +'This brings us round, my dear,' he then pursued, 'to the question +we left unfinished: namely, whether there's to be any new go-in for +Fashion.' + +'Now, I'll tell you what I want, Noddy,' said Mrs Boffin, smoothing +her dress with an air of immense enjoyment, 'I want Society.' + +'Fashionable Society, my dear?' + +'Yes!' cried Mrs Boffin, laughing with the glee of a child. 'Yes! +It's no good my being kept here like Wax-Work; is it now?' + +'People have to pay to see Wax-Work, my dear,' returned her +husband, 'whereas (though you'd be cheap at the same money) the +neighbours is welcome to see YOU for nothing.' + +'But it don't answer,' said the cheerful Mrs Boffin. 'When we +worked like the neighbours, we suited one another. Now we have +left work off; we have left off suiting one another.' + +'What, do you think of beginning work again?' Mr Boffin hinted. + +'Out of the question! We have come into a great fortune, and we +must do what's right by our fortune; we must act up to it.' + +Mr Boffin, who had a deep respect for his wife's intuitive wisdom, +replied, though rather pensively: 'I suppose we must.' + +'It's never been acted up to yet, and, consequently, no good has +come of it,' said Mrs Boffin. + +'True, to the present time,' Mr Boffin assented, with his former +pensiveness, as he took his seat upon his settle. 'I hope good may +be coming of it in the future time. Towards which, what's your +views, old lady?' + +Mrs Boffin, a smiling creature, broad of figure and simple of +nature, with her hands folded in her lap, and with buxom creases +in her throat, proceeded to expound her views. + +'I say, a good house in a good neighbourhood, good things about +us, good living, and good society. I say, live like our means, +without extravagance, and be happy.' + +'Yes. I say be happy, too,' assented the still pensive Mr Boffin. +'Lor-a-mussy!' exclaimed Mrs Boffin, laughing and clapping her +hands, and gaily rocking herself to and fro, 'when I think of me in a +light yellow chariot and pair, with silver boxes to the wheels--' + +'Oh! you was thinking of that, was you, my dear?' + +'Yes!' cried the delighted creature. 'And with a footman up behind, +with a bar across, to keep his legs from being poled! And with a +coachman up in front, sinking down into a seat big enough for +three of him, all covered with upholstery in green and white! And +with two bay horses tossing their heads and stepping higher than +they trot long-ways! And with you and me leaning back inside, as +grand as ninepence! Oh-h-h-h My! Ha ha ha ha ha!' + +Mrs Boffin clapped her hands again, rocked herself again, beat her +feet upon the floor, and wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. + +'And what, my old lady,' inquired Mr Boffin, when he also had +sympathetically laughed: 'what's your views on the subject of the +Bower?' + +'Shut it up. Don't part with it, but put somebody in it, to keep it.' + +'Any other views?' + +'Noddy,' said Mrs Boffin, coming from her fashionable sofa to his +side on the plain settle, and hooking her comfortable arm through +his, 'Next I think--and I really have been thinking early and late--of +the disappointed girl; her that was so cruelly disappointed, you +know, both of her husband and his riches. Don't you think we +might do something for her? Have her to live with us? Or +something of that sort?' + +'Ne-ver once thought of the way of doing it!' cried Mr Boffin, +smiting the table in his admiration. 'What a thinking steam-ingein +this old lady is. And she don't know how she does it. Neither does +the ingein!' + +Mrs Boffin pulled his nearest ear, in acknowledgment of this piece +of philosophy, and then said, gradually toning down to a motherly +strain: 'Last, and not least, I have taken a fancy. You remember +dear little John Harmon, before he went to school? Over yonder +across the yard, at our fire? Now that he is past all benefit of the +money, and it's come to us, I should like to find some orphan child, +and take the boy and adopt him and give him John's name, and +provide for him. Somehow, it would make me easier, I fancy. Say +it's only a whim--' + +'But I don't say so,' interposed her husband. + +'No, but deary, if you did--' + +'I should be a Beast if I did,' her husband interposed again. + +'That's as much as to say you agree? Good and kind of you, and +like you, deary! And don't you begin to find it pleasant now,' said +Mrs Boffin, once more radiant in her comely way from head to +foot, and once more smoothing her dress with immense enjoyment, +'don't you begin to find it pleasant already, to think that a child will +be made brighter, and better, and happier, because of that poor sad +child that day? And isn't it pleasant to know that the good will be +done with the poor sad child's own money?' + +'Yes; and it's pleasant to know that you are Mrs Boffin,' said her +husband, 'and it's been a pleasant thing to know this many and +many a year!' It was ruin to Mrs Boffin's aspirations, but, having +so spoken, they sat side by side, a hopelessly Unfashionable pair. + +These two ignorant and unpolished people had guided themselves +so far on in their journey of life, by a religious sense of duty and +desire to do right. Ten thousand weaknesses and absurdities might +have been detected in the breasts of both; ten thousand vanities +additional, possibly, in the breast of the woman. But the hard +wrathful and sordid nature that had wrung as much work out of +them as could be got in their best days, for as little money as could +be paid to hurry on their worst, had never been so warped but that +it knew their moral straightness and respected it. In its own +despite, in a constant conflict with itself and them, it had done so. +And this is the eternal law. For, Evil often stops short at itself and +dies with the doer of it; but Good, never. + +Through his most inveterate purposes, the dead Jailer of Harmony +Jail had known these two faithful servants to be honest and true. +While he raged at them and reviled them for opposing him with the +speech of the honest and true, it had scratched his stony heart, and +he had perceived the powerlessness of all his wealth to buy them if +he had addressed himself to the attempt. So, even while he was +their griping taskmaster and never gave them a good word, he had +written their names down in his will. So, even while it was his +daily declaration that he mistrusted all mankind--and sorely indeed +he did mistrust all who bore any resemblance to himself--he was as +certain that these two people, surviving him, would be trustworthy +in all things from the greatest to the least, as he was that he must +surely die. + +Mr and Mrs Boffin, sitting side by side, with Fashion withdrawn +to an immeasurable distance, fell to discussing how they could best +find their orphan. Mrs Boffin suggested advertisement in the +newspapers, requesting orphans answering annexed description to +apply at the Bower on a certain day; but Mr Boffin wisely +apprehending obstruction of the neighbouring thoroughfares by +orphan swarms, this course was negatived. Mrs Boffin next +suggested application to their clergyman for a likely orphan. Mr +Boffin thinking better of this scheme, they resolved to call upon the +reverend gentleman at once, and to take the same opportunity of +making acquaintance with Miss Bella Wilfer. In order that these +visits might be visits of state, Mrs Boffin's equipage was ordered +out. + +This consisted of a long hammer-headed old horse, formerly used +in the business, attached to a four-wheeled chaise of the same +period, which had long been exclusively used by the Harmony Jail +poultry as the favourite laying-place of several discreet hens. An +unwonted application of corn to the horse, and of paint and varnish +to the carriage, when both fell in as a part of the Boffin legacy, had +made what Mr Boffin considered a neat turn-out of the whole; and +a driver being added, in the person of a long hammer-headed +young man who was a very good match for the horse, left nothing +to be desired. He, too, had been formerly used in the business, but +was now entombed by an honest jobbing tailor of the district in a +perfect Sepulchre of coat and gaiters, sealed with ponderous +buttons. + +Behind this domestic, Mr and Mrs Boffin took their seats in the +back compartment of the vehicle: which was sufficiently +commodious, but had an undignified and alarming tendency, in +getting over a rough crossing, to hiccup itself away from the front +compartment. On their being descried emerging from the gates of +the Bower, the neighbourhood turned out at door and window to +salute the Boffins. Among those who were ever and again left +behind, staring after the equipage, were many youthful spirits, who +hailed it in stentorian tones with such congratulations as 'Nod-dy +Bof-fin!' 'Bof-fin's mon-ey!' 'Down with the dust, Bof-fin!' and +other similar compliments. These, the hammer-headed young man +took in such ill part that he often impaired the majesty of the +progress by pulling up short, and making as though he would +alight to exterminate the offenders; a purpose from which he only +allowed himself to be dissuaded after long and lively arguments +with his employers. + +At length the Bower district was left behind, and the peaceful +dwelling of the Reverend Frank Milvey was gained. The Reverend +Frank Milvey's abode was a very modest abode, because his +income was a very modest income. He was officially accessible to +every blundering old woman who had incoherence to bestow upon +him, and readily received the Boffins. He was quite a young man, +expensively educated and wretchedly paid, with quite a young wife +and half a dozen quite young children. He was under the necessity +of teaching and translating from the classics, to eke out his scanty +means, yet was generally expected to have more time to spare than +the idlest person in the parish, and more money than the richest. +He accepted the needless inequalities and inconsistencies of his +life, with a kind of conventional submission that was almost +slavish; and any daring layman who would have adjusted such +burdens as his, more decently and graciously, would have had +small help from him. + +With a ready patient face and manner, and yet with a latent smile +that showed a quick enough observation of Mrs Boffin's dress, Mr +Milvey, in his little book-room--charged with sounds and cries as +though the six children above were coming down through the +ceiling, and the roasting leg of mutton below were coming up +through the floor--listened to Mrs Boffin's statement of her want of +an orphan. + +'I think,' said Mr Milvey, 'that you have never had a child of your +own, Mr and Mrs Boffin?' + +Never. + +'But, like the Kings and Queens in the Fairy Tales, I suppose you +have wished for one?' + +In a general way, yes. + +Mr Milvey smiled again, as he remarked to himself 'Those kings +and queens were always wishing for children.' It occurring to him, +perhaps, that if they had been Curates, their wishes might have +tended in the opposite direction. + +'I think,' he pursued, 'we had better take Mrs Milvey into our +Council. She is indispensable to me. If you please, I'll call her.' + +So, Mr Milvey called, 'Margaretta, my dear!' and Mrs Milvey came +down. A pretty, bright little woman, something worn by anxiety, +who had repressed many pretty tastes and bright fancies, and +substituted in their stead, schools, soup, flannel, coals, and all the +week-day cares and Sunday coughs of a large population, young +and old. As gallantly had Mr Milvey repressed much in himself +that naturally belonged to his old studies and old fellow-students, +and taken up among the poor and their children with the hard +crumbs of life. + +'Mr and Mrs Boffin, my dear, whose good fortune you have heard +of.' + +Mrs Milvey, with the most unaffected grace in the world, +congratulated them, and was glad to see them. Yet her engaging +face, being an open as well as a perceptive one, was not without +her husband's latent smile. + +'Mrs Boffin wishes to adopt a little boy, my dear.' + +Mrs Milvey, looking rather alarmed, her husband added: + +'An orphan, my dear.' + +'Oh!' said Mrs Milvey, reassured for her own little boys. + +'And I was thinking, Margaretta, that perhaps old Mrs Goody's +grandchild might answer the purpose. + +'Oh my DEAR Frank! I DON'T think that would do!' + +'No?' + +'Oh NO!' + +The smiling Mrs Boffin, feeling it incumbent on her to take part in +the conversation, and being charmed with the emphatic little wife +and her ready interest, here offered her acknowledgments and +inquired what there was against him? + +'I DON'T think,' said Mrs Milvey, glancing at the Reverend Frank' +--and I believe my husband will agree with me when he considers it +again--that you could possibly keep that orphan clean from snuff. +Because his grandmother takes so MANY ounces, and drops it +over him.' + +'But he would not be living with his grandmother then, +Margaretta,' said Mr Milvey. + +'No, Frank, but it would be impossible to keep her from Mrs +Boffin's house; and the MORE there was to eat and drink there, the +oftener she would go. And she IS an inconvenient woman. I +HOPE it's not uncharitable to remember that last Christmas Eve +she drank eleven cups of tea, and grumbled all the time. And she +is NOT a grateful woman, Frank. You recollect her addressing a +crowd outside this house, about her wrongs, when, one night after +we had gone to bed, she brought back the petticoat of new flannel +that had been given her, because it was too short.' + +'That's true,' said Mr Milvey. 'I don't think that would do. Would +little Harrison--' + +'Oh, FRANK!' remonstrated his emphatic wife. + +'He has no grandmother, my dear.' + +'No, but I DON'T think Mrs Boffin would like an orphan who +squints so MUCH.' + +'That's true again,' said Mr Milvey, becoming haggard with +perplexity. 'If a little girl would do--' + +'But, my DEAR Frank, Mrs Boffin wants a boy.' + +'That's true again,' said Mr Milvey. 'Tom Bocker is a nice boy' +(thoughtfully). + +'But I DOUBT, Frank,' Mrs Milvey hinted, after a little hesitation, +'if Mrs Boffin wants an orphan QUITE nineteen, who drives a cart +and waters the roads.' + +Mr Milvey referred the point to Mrs Boffin in a look; on that +smiling lady's shaking her black velvet bonnet and bows, he +remarked, in lower spirits, 'that's true again.' + +'I am sure,' said Mrs Boffin, concerned at giving so much trouble, +'that if I had known you would have taken so much pains, sir--and +you too, ma' am--I don't think I would have come.' + +'PRAY don't say that!' urged Mrs Milvey. + +'No, don't say that,' assented Mr Milvey, 'because we are so much +obliged to you for giving us the preference.' Which Mrs Milvey +confirmed; and really the kind, conscientious couple spoke, as if +they kept some profitable orphan warehouse and were personally +patronized. 'But it is a responsible trust,' added Mr Milvey, 'and +difficult to discharge. At the same time, we are naturally very +unwilling to lose the chance you so kindly give us, and if you could +afford us a day or two to look about us,--you know, Margaretta, we +might carefully examine the workhouse, and the Infant School, and +your District.' + +'To be SURE!' said the emphatic little wife. + +'We have orphans, I know,' pursued Mr Milvey, quite with the air +as if he might have added, 'in stock,' and quite as anxiously as if +there were great competition in the business and he were afraid of +losing an order, 'over at the clay-pits; but they are employed by +relations or friends, and I am afraid it would come at last to a +transaction in the way of barter. And even if you exchanged +blankets for the child--or books and firing--it would be impossible +to prevent their being turned into liquor.' + +Accordingly, it was resolved that Mr and Mrs Milvey should +search for an orphan likely to suit, and as free as possible from the +foregoing objections, and should communicate again with Mrs +Boffin. Then, Mr Boffin took the liberty of mentioning to Mr +Milvey that if Mr Milvey would do him the kindness to be +perpetually his banker to the extent of 'a twenty-pound note or so,' +to be expended without any reference to him, he would be heartily +obliged. At this, both Mr Milvey and Mrs Milvey were quite as +much pleased as if they had no wants of their own, but only knew +what poverty was, in the persons of other people; and so the +interview terminated with satisfaction and good opinion on all +sides. + +'Now, old lady,' said Mr Boffin, as they resumed their seats behind +the hammer-headed horse and man: 'having made a very agreeable +visit there, we'll try Wilfer's.' + +It appeared, on their drawing up at the family gate, that to try +Wilfer's was a thing more easily projected than done, on account of +the extreme difficulty of getting into that establishment; three pulls +at the bell producing no external result; though each was attended +by audible sounds of scampering and rushing within. At the fourth +tug--vindictively administered by the hammer-headed young man-- +Miss Lavinia appeared, emerging from the house in an accidental +manner, with a bonnet and parasol, as designing to take a +contemplative walk. The young lady was astonished to find +visitors at the gate, and expressed her feelings in appropriate +action. + +'Here's Mr and Mrs Boffin!' growled the hammer-headed young +man through the bars of the gate, and at the same time shaking it, +as if he were on view in a Menagerie; 'they've been here half an +hour.' + +'Who did you say?' asked Miss Lavinia. + +'Mr and Mrs BOFFIN' returned the young man, rising into a roar. + +Miss Lavinia tripped up the steps to the house-door, tripped down +the steps with the key, tripped across the little garden, and opened +the gate. 'Please to walk in,' said Miss Lavinia, haughtily. 'Our +servant is out.' + +Mr and Mrs Boffin complying, and pausing in the little hall until +Miss Lavinia came up to show them where to go next, perceived +three pairs of listening legs upon the stairs above. Mrs Wilfer's +legs, Miss Bella's legs, Mr George Sampson's legs. + +'Mr and Mrs Boffin, I think?' said Lavinia, in a warning voice. +Strained attention on the part of Mrs Wilfer's legs, of Miss Bella's +legs, of Mr George Sampson's legs. + +'Yes, Miss.' + +'If you'll step this way--down these stairs--I'll let Ma know.' +Excited flight of Mrs Wilfer's legs, of Miss Bella's legs, of Mr +George Sampson's legs. + +After waiting some quarter of an hour alone in the family sitting- +room, which presented traces of having been so hastily arranged +after a meal, that one might have doubted whether it was made tidy +for visitors, or cleared for blindman's buff, Mr and Mrs Boffin +became aware of the entrance of Mrs Wilfer, majestically faint, and +with a condescending stitch in her side: which was her company +manner. + +'Pardon me,' said Mrs Wilfer, after the first salutations, and as soon +as she had adjusted the handkerchief under her chin, and waved +her gloved hands, 'to what am I indebted for this honour?' + +'To make short of it, ma'am,' returned Mr Boffin, 'perhaps you may +be acquainted with the names of me and Mrs Boffin, as having +come into a certain property.' + +'I have heard, sir,' returned Mrs Wilfer, with a dignified bend of +her head, 'of such being the case.' + +'And I dare say, ma'am,' pursued Mr Boffin, while Mrs Boffin +added confirmatory nods and smiles, 'you are not very much +inclined to take kindly to us?' + +'Pardon me,' said Mrs Wilfer. ''Twere unjust to visit upon Mr and +Mrs Boffin, a calamity which was doubtless a dispensation.' These +words were rendered the more effective by a serenely heroic +expression of suffering. + +'That's fairly meant, I am sure,' remarked the honest Mr Boffin; +'Mrs Boffin and me, ma'am, are plain people, and we don't want to +pretend to anything, nor yet to go round and round at anything +because there's always a straight way to everything. Consequently, +we make this call to say, that we shall be glad to have the honour +and pleasure of your daughter's acquaintance, and that we shall be +rejoiced if your daughter will come to consider our house in the +light of her home equally with this. In short, we want to cheer your +daughter, and to give her the opportunity of sharing such pleasures +as we are a going to take ourselves. We want to brisk her up, and +brisk her about, and give her a change.' + +'That's it!' said the open-hearted Mrs Boffin. 'Lor! Let's be +comfortable.' + +Mrs Wilfer bent her head in a distant manner to her lady visitor, +and with majestic monotony replied to the gentleman: + +'Pardon me. I have several daughters. Which of my daughters am +I to understand is thus favoured by the kind intentions of Mr Boffin +and his lady?' + +'Don't you see?' the ever-smiling Mrs Boffin put in. 'Naturally, +Miss Bella, you know.' + +'Oh-h!' said Mrs Wilfer, with a severely unconvinced look. 'My +daughter Bella is accessible and shall speak for herself.' Then +opening the door a little way, simultaneously with a sound of +scuttling outside it, the good lady made the proclamation, 'Send +Miss Bella to me!' which proclamation, though grandly formal, and +one might almost say heraldic, to hear, was in fact enunciated with +her maternal eyes reproachfully glaring on that young lady in the +flesh--and in so much of it that she was retiring with difficulty into +the small closet under the stairs, apprehensive of the emergence of +Mr and Mrs Boffin. + +'The avocations of R. W., my husband,' Mrs Wilfer explained, on +resuming her seat, 'keep him fully engaged in the City at this time +of the day, or he would have had the honour of participating in +your reception beneath our humble roof.' + +'Very pleasant premises!' said Mr Boffin, cheerfully. + +'Pardon me, sir,' returned Mrs Wilfer, correcting him, 'it is the +abode of conscious though independent Poverty.' + +Finding it rather difficult to pursue the conversation down this +road, Mr and Mrs Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs Wilfer sat +silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew +required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history, +until Miss Bella appeared: whom Mrs Wilfer presented, and to +whom she explained the purpose of the visitors. + +'I am much obliged to you, I am sure,' said Miss Bella, coldly +shaking her curls, 'but I doubt if I have the inclination to go out at +all.' + +'Bella!' Mrs Wilfer admonished her; 'Bella, you must conquer this.' + +'Yes, do what your Ma says, and conquer it, my dear,' urged Mrs +Boffin, 'because we shall be so glad to have you, and because you +are much too pretty to keep yourself shut up.' With that, the +pleasant creature gave her a kiss, and patted her on her dimpled +shoulders; Mrs Wilfer sitting stiffly by, like a functionary presiding +over an interview previous to an execution. + +'We are going to move into a nice house,' said Mrs Boffin, who +was woman enough to compromise Mr Boffin on that point, when +he couldn't very well contest it; 'and we are going to set up a nice +carriage, and we'll go everywhere and see everything. And you +mustn't,' seating Bella beside her, and patting her hand, 'you +mustn't feel a dislike to us to begin with, because we couldn't help +it, you know, my dear.' + +With the natural tendency of youth to yield to candour and sweet +temper, Miss Bella was so touched by the simplicity of this address +that she frankly returned Mrs Boffin's kiss. Not at all to the +satisfaction of that good woman of the world, her mother, who +sought to hold the advantageous ground of obliging the Boffins +instead of being obliged. + +'My youngest daughter, Lavinia,' said Mrs Wilfer, glad to make a +diversion, as that young lady reappeared. 'Mr George Sampson, a +friend of the family.' + +The friend of the family was in that stage of tender passion which +bound him to regard everybody else as the foe of the family. He +put the round head of his cane in his mouth, like a stopper, when +he sat down. As if he felt himself full to the throat with affronting +sentiments. And he eyed the Boffins with implacable eyes. + +'If you like to bring your sister with you when you come to stay +with us,' said Mrs Boffin, 'of course we shall be glad. The better +you please yourself, Miss Bella, the better you'll please us.' + +'Oh, my consent is of no consequence at all, I suppose?' cried Miss +Lavinia. + +'Lavvy,' said her sister, in a low voice, 'have the goodness to be +seen and not heard.' + +'No, I won't,' replied the sharp Lavinia. 'I'm not a child, to be taken +notice of by strangers.' + +'You ARE a child.' + +'I'm not a child, and I won't be taken notice of. "Bring your sister," +indeed!' + +'Lavinia!' said Mrs Wilfer. 'Hold! I will not allow you to utter in +my presence the absurd suspicion that any strangers--I care not +what their names--can patronize my child. Do you dare to +suppose, you ridiculous girl, that Mr and Mrs Boffin would enter +these doors upon a patronizing errand; or, if they did, would +remain within them, only for one single instant, while your mother +had the strength yet remaining in her vital frame to request them to +depart? You little know your mother if you presume to think so.' + +'It's all very fine,' Lavinia began to grumble, when Mrs Wilfer +repeated: + +'Hold! I will not allow this. Do you not know what is due to +guests? Do you not comprehend that in presuming to hint that this +lady and gentleman could have any idea of patronizing any +member of your family--I care not which--you accuse them of an +impertinence little less than insane?' + +'Never mind me and Mrs Boffin, ma'am,' said Mr Boffin, +smilingly: 'we don't care.' + +'Pardon me, but I do,' returned Mrs Wilfer. + +Miss Lavinia laughed a short laugh as she muttered, 'Yes, to be +sure.' + +'And I require my audacious child,' proceeded Mrs Wilfer, with a +withering look at her youngest, on whom it had not the slightest +effect, 'to please to be just to her sister Bella; to remember that her +sister Bella is much sought after; and that when her sister Bella +accepts an attention, she considers herself to be conferring qui-i-ite +as much honour,'--this with an indignant shiver,--'as she receives.' + +But, here Miss Bella repudiated, and said quietly, 'I can speak for +myself; you know, ma. You needn't bring ME in, please.' + +'And it's all very well aiming at others through convenient me,' +said the irrepressible Lavinia, spitefully; 'but I should like to ask +George Sampson what he says to it.' + +'Mr Sampson,' proclaimed Mrs Wilfer, seeing that young +gentleman take his stopper out, and so darkly fixing him with her +eyes as that he put it in again: 'Mr Sampson, as a friend of this +family and a frequenter of this house, is, I am persuaded, far too +well-bred to interpose on such an invitation.' + +This exaltation of the young gentleman moved the conscientious +Mrs Boffin to repentance for having done him an injustice in her +mind, and consequently to saying that she and Mr Boffin would at +any time be glad to see him; an attention which he handsomely +acknowledged by replying, with his stopper unremoved, 'Much +obliged to you, but I'm always engaged, day and night.' + +However, Bella compensating for all drawbacks by responding to +the advances of the Boffins in an engaging way, that easy pair were +on the whole well satisfied, and proposed to the said Bella that as +soon as they should be in a condition to receive her in a manner +suitable to their desires, Mrs Boffin should return with notice of +the fact. This arrangement Mrs Wilfer sanctioned with a stately +inclination of her head and wave of her gloves, as who should say, +'Your demerits shall be overlooked, and you shall be mercifully +gratified, poor people.' + +'By-the-bye, ma'am,' said Mr Boffin, turning back as he was +going, 'you have a lodger?' + +'A gentleman,' Mrs Wilfer answered, qualifying the low +expression, 'undoubtedly occupies our first floor.' + +'I may call him Our Mutual Friend,' said Mr Boffin. 'What sort of +a fellow IS Our Mutual Friend, now? Do you like him?' + +'Mr Rokesmith is very punctual, very quiet, a very eligible inmate.' + +'Because,' Mr Boffin explained, 'you must know that I'm not +particularly well acquainted with Our Mutual Friend, for I have +only seen him once. You give a good account of him. Is he at +home?' + +'Mr Rokesmith is at home,' said Mrs Wilfer; 'indeed,' pointing +through the window, 'there he stands at the garden gate. Waiting +for you, perhaps?' + +'Perhaps so,' replied Mr Boffin. 'Saw me come in, maybe.' + +Bella had closely attended to this short dialogue. Accompanying +Mrs Boffin to the gate, she as closely watched what followed. + +'How are you, sir, how are you?' said Mr Boffin. 'This is Mrs +Boffin. Mr Rokesmith, that I told you of; my dear.' + +She gave him good day, and he bestirred himself and helped her to +her seat, and the like, with a ready hand. + +'Good-bye for the present, Miss Bella,' said Mrs Boffin, calling out +a hearty parting. 'We shall meet again soon! And then I hope I +shall have my little John Harmon to show you.' + +Mr Rokesmith, who was at the wheel adjusting the skirts of her +dress, suddenly looked behind him, and around him, and then +looked up at her, with a face so pale that Mrs Boffin cried: + +'Gracious!' And after a moment, 'What's the matter, sir?' + +'How can you show her the Dead?' returned Mr Rokesmith. + +'It's only an adopted child. One I have told her of. One I'm going +to give the name to!' + +'You took me by surprise,' said Mr Rokesmith, 'and it sounded like +an omen, that you should speak of showing the Dead to one so +young and blooming.' + +Now, Bella suspected by this time that Mr Rokesmith admired her. +Whether the knowledge (for it was rather that than suspicion) +caused her to incline to him a little more, or a little less, than she +had done at first; whether it rendered her eager to find out more +about him, because she sought to establish reason for her distrust, +or because she sought to free him from it; was as yet dark to her +own heart. But at most times he occupied a great amount of her +attention, and she had set her attention closely on this incident. + +That he knew it as well as she, she knew as well as he, when they +were left together standing on the path by the garden gate. + +'Those are worthy people, Miss Wilfer.' + +'Do you know them well?' asked Bella. + +He smiled, reproaching her, and she coloured, reproaching herself +--both, with the knowledge that she had meant to entrap him into an +answer not true--when he said 'I know OF them.' + +'Truly, he told us he had seen you but once.' + +'Truly, I supposed he did.' + +Bella was nervous now, and would have been glad to recall her +question. + +'You thought it strange that, feeling much interested in you, I +should start at what sounded like a proposal to bring you into +contact with the murdered man who lies in his grave. I might have +known--of course in a moment should have known--that it could +not have that meaning. But my interest remains.' + +Re-entering the family-room in a meditative state, Miss Bella was +received by the irrepressible Lavinia with: + +'There, Bella! At last I hope you have got your wishes realized--by +your Boffins. You'll be rich enough now--with your Boffins. You +can have as much flirting as you like--at your Boffins. But you +won't take ME to your Boffins, I can tell you--you and your Boffins +too!' + +'If,' quoth Mr George Sampson, moodily pulling his stopper out, +'Miss Bella's Mr Boffin comes any more of his nonsense to ME, I +only wish him to understand, as betwixt man and man, that he +does it at his per--' and was going to say peril; but Miss Lavinia, +having no confidence in his mental powers, and feeling his oration +to have no definite application to any circumstances, jerked his +stopper in again, with a sharpness that made his eyes water. + +And now the worthy Mrs Wilfer, having used her youngest +daughter as a lay-figure for the edification of these Boffins, became +bland to her, and proceeded to develop her last instance of force of +character, which was still in reserve. This was, to illuminate the +family with her remarkable powers as a physiognomist; powers +that terrified R. W. when ever let loose, as being always fraught +with gloom and evil which no inferior prescience was aware of. +And this Mrs Wilfer now did, be it observed, in jealousy of these +Boffins, in the very same moments when she was already reflecting +how she would flourish these very same Boffins and the state they +kept, over the heads of her Boffinless friends. + +'Of their manners,' said Mrs Wilfer, 'I say nothing. Of their +appearance, I say nothing. Of the disinterestedness of their +intentions towards Bella, I say nothing. But the craft, the secrecy, +the dark deep underhanded plotting, written in Mrs Boffin's +countenance, make me shudder.' + +As an incontrovertible proof that those baleful attributes were all +there, Mrs Wilfer shuddered on the spot. + + + +Chapter 10 + +A MARRIAGE CONTRACT + + +There is excitement in the Veneering mansion. The mature young +lady is going to be married (powder and all) to the mature young +gentleman, and she is to be married from the Veneering house, and +the Veneerings are to give the breakfast. The Analytical, who +objects as a matter of principle to everything that occurs on the +premises, necessarily objects to the match; but his consent has +been dispensed with, and a spring-van is delivering its load of +greenhouse plants at the door, in order that to-morrow's feast may +be crowned with flowers. + +The mature young lady is a lady of property. The mature young +gentleman is a gentleman of property. He invests his property. He +goes, in a condescending amateurish way, into the City, attends +meetings of Directors, and has to do with traffic in Shares. As is +well known to the wise in their generation, traffic in Shares is the +one thing to have to do with in this world. Have no antecedents, +no established character, no cultivation, no ideas, no manners; +have Shares. Have Shares enough to be on Boards of Direction in +capital letters, oscillate on mysterious business between London +and Paris, and be great. Where does he come from? Shares. +Where is he going to? Shares. What are his tastes? Shares. Has +he any principles? Shares. What squeezes him into Parliament? +Shares. Perhaps he never of himself achieved success in anything, +never originated anything, never produced anything? Sufficient +answer to all; Shares. O mighty Shares! To set those blaring +images so high, and to cause us smaller vermin, as under the +influence of henbane or opium, to cry out, night and day, 'Relieve +us of our money, scatter it for us, buy us and sell us, ruin us, only +we beseech ye take rank among the powers of the earth, and fatten +on us'! + +While the Loves and Graces have been preparing this torch for +Hymen, which is to be kindled to-morrow, Mr Twemlow has +suffered much in his mind. It would seem that both the mature +young lady and the mature young gentleman must indubitably be +Veneering's oldest friends. Wards of his, perhaps? Yet that can +scarcely be, for they are older than himself. Veneering has been in +their confidence throughout, and has done much to lure them to the +altar. He has mentioned to Twemlow how he said to Mrs +Veneering, 'Anastatia, this must be a match.' He has mentioned to +Twemlow how he regards Sophronia Akershem (the mature young +lady) in the light of a sister, and Alfred Lammle (the mature young +gentleman) in the light of a brother. Twemlow has asked him +whether he went to school as a junior with Alfred? He has +answered, 'Not exactly.' Whether Sophronia was adopted by his +mother? He has answered, 'Not precisely so.' Twemlow's hand +has gone to his forehead with a lost air. + +But, two or three weeks ago, Twemlow, sitting over his +newspaper, and over his dry-toast and weak tea, and over the +stable-yard in Duke Street, St James's, received a highly-perfumed +cocked-hat and monogram from Mrs Veneering, entreating her +dearest Mr T., if not particularly engaged that day, to come like a +charming soul and make a fourth at dinner with dear Mr Podsnap, +for the discussion of an interesting family topic; the last three +words doubly underlined and pointed with a note of admiration. +And Twemlow replying, 'Not engaged, and more than delighted,' +goes, and this takes place: + +'My dear Twemlow,' says Veneering, 'your ready response to +Anastatia's unceremonious invitation is truly kind, and like an old, +old friend. You know our dear friend Podsnap?' + +Twemlow ought to know the dear friend Podsnap who covered him +with so much confusion, and he says he does know him, and +Podsnap reciprocates. Apparently, Podsnap has been so wrought +upon in a short time, as to believe that he has been intimate in the +house many, many, many years. In the friendliest manner he is +making himself quite at home with his back to the fire, executing a +statuette of the Colossus at Rhodes. Twemlow has before noticed +in his feeble way how soon the Veneering guests become infected +with the Veneering fiction. Not, however, that he has the least +notion of its being his own case. + +'Our friends, Alfred and Sophronia,' pursues Veneering the veiled +prophet: 'our friends Alfred and Sophronia, you will be glad to +hear, my dear fellows, are going to be married. As my wife and I +make it a family affair the entire direction of which we take upon +ourselves, of course our first step is to communicate the fact to our +family friends.' + +('Oh!' thinks Twemlow, with his eyes on Podsnap, 'then there are +only two of us, and he's the other.') + +'I did hope,' Veneering goes on, 'to have had Lady Tippins to meet +you; but she is always in request, and is unfortunately engaged.' + +('Oh!' thinks Twemlow, with his eyes wandering, 'then there are +three of us, and SHE'S the other.') + +'Mortimer Lightwood,' resumes Veneering, 'whom you both know, +is out of town; but he writes, in his whimsical manner, that as we +ask him to be bridegroom's best man when the ceremony takes +place, he will not refuse, though he doesn't see what he has to do +with it.' + +('Oh!' thinks Twemlow, with his eyes rolling, 'then there are four of +us, and HE'S the other.') + +'Boots and Brewer,' observes Veneering, 'whom you also know, I +have not asked to-day; but I reserve them for the occasion.' + +('Then,' thinks Twemlow, with his eyes shut, 'there are si--' But +here collapses and does not completely recover until dinner is over +and the Analytical has been requested to withdraw.) + +'We now come,' says Veneering, 'to the point, the real point, of our +little family consultation. Sophronia, having lost both father and +mother, has no one to give her away.' + +'Give her away yourself,' says Podsnap. + +'My dear Podsnap, no. For three reasons. Firstly, because I +couldn't take so much upon myself when I have respected family +friends to remember. Secondly, because I am not so vain as to +think that I look the part. Thirdly, because Anastatia is a little +superstitious on the subject and feels averse to my giving away +anybody until baby is old enough to be married.' + +'What would happen if he did?' Podsnap inquires of Mrs Veneering. + +'My dear Mr Podsnap, it's very foolish I know, but I have an +instinctive presentiment that if Hamilton gave away anybody else +first, he would never give away baby.' Thus Mrs Veneering; with +her open hands pressed together, and each of her eight aquiline +fingers looking so very like her one aquiline nose that the bran-new +jewels on them seem necessary for distinction's sake. + +'But, my dear Podsnap,' quoth Veneering, 'there IS a tried friend of +our family who, I think and hope you will agree with me, Podsnap, +is the friend on whom this agreeable duty almost naturally +devolves. That friend,' saying the words as if the company were +about a hundred and fifty in number, 'is now among us. That +friend is Twemlow.' + +'Certainly!' From Podsnap. + +'That friend,' Veneering repeats with greater firmness, 'is our dear +good Twemlow. And I cannot sufficiently express to you, my dear +Podsnap, the pleasure I feel in having this opinion of mine and +Anastatia's so readily confirmed by you, that other equally familiar +and tried friend who stands in the proud position--I mean who +proudly stands in the position--or I ought rather to say, who places +Anastatia and myself in the proud position of himself standing in +the simple position--of baby's godfather.' And, indeed, Veneering +is much relieved in mind to find that Podsnap betrays no jealousy +of Twemlow's elevation. + +So, it has come to pass that the spring-van is strewing flowers on +the rosy hours and on the staircase, and that Twemlow is surveying +the ground on which he is to play his distinguished part to- +morrow. He has already been to the church, and taken note of the +various impediments in the aisle, under the auspices of an +extremely dreary widow who opens the pews, and whose left hand +appears to be in a state of acute rheumatism, but is in fact +voluntarily doubled up to act as a money-box. + +And now Veneering shoots out of the Study wherein he is +accustomed, when contemplative, to give his mind to the carving +and gilding of the Pilgrims going to Canterbury, in order to show +Twemlow the little flourish he has prepared for the trumpets of +fashion, describing how that on the seventeenth instant, at St +James's Church, the Reverend Blank Blank, assisted by the +Reverend Dash Dash, united in the bonds of matrimony, Alfred +Lammle Esquire, of Sackville Street, Piccadilly, to Sophronia, only +daughter of the late Horatio Akershem, Esquire, of Yorkshire. +Also how the fair bride was married from the house of Hamilton +Veneering, Esquire, of Stucconia, and was given away by Melvin +Twemlow, Esquire, of Duke Street, St James's, second cousin to +Lord Snigsworth, of Snigsworthy Park. While perusing which +composition, Twemlow makes some opaque approach to +perceiving that if the Reverend Blank Blank and the Reverend +Dash Dash fail, after this introduction, to become enrolled in the +list of Veneering's dearest and oldest friends, they will have none +but themselves to thank for it. + +After which, appears Sophronia (whom Twemlow has seen twice +in his lifetime), to thank Twemlow for counterfeiting the late +Horatio Akershem Esquire, broadly of Yorkshire. And after her, +appears Alfred (whom Twemlow has seen once in his lifetime), to +do the same and to make a pasty sort of glitter, as if he were +constructed for candle-light only, and had been let out into daylight +by some grand mistake. And after that, comes Mrs Veneering, in a +pervadingly aquiline state of figure, and with transparent little +knobs on her temper, like the little transparent knob on the bridge +of her nose, 'Worn out by worry and excitement,' as she tells her +dear Mr Twemlow, and reluctantly revived with curacoa by the +Analytical. And after that, the bridesmaids begin to come by rail- +road from various parts of the country, and to come like adorable +recruits enlisted by a sergeant not present; for, on arriving at the +Veneering depot, they are in a barrack of strangers. + +So, Twemlow goes home to Duke Street, St James's, to take a plate +of mutton broth with a chop in it, and a look at the marriage- +service, in order that he may cut in at the right place to-morrow; +and he is low, and feels it dull over the livery stable-yard, and is +distinctly aware of a dint in his heart, made by the most adorable +of the adorable bridesmaids. For, the poor little harmless +gentleman once had his fancy, like the rest of us, and she didn't +answer (as she often does not), and he thinks the adorable +bridesmaid is like the fancy as she was then (which she is not at +all), and that if the fancy had not married some one else for money, +but had married him for love, he and she would have been happy +(which they wouldn't have been), and that she has a tenderness for +him still (whereas her toughness is a proverb). Brooding over the +fire, with his dried little head in his dried little hands, and his dried +little elbows on his dried little knees, Twemlow is melancholy. +'No Adorable to bear me company here!' thinks he. 'No Adorable +at the club! A waste, a waste, a waste, my Twemlow!' And so +drops asleep, and has galvanic starts all over him. + +Betimes next morning, that horrible old Lady Tippins (relict of the +late Sir Thomas Tippins, knighted in mistake for somebody else by +His Majesty King George the Third, who, while performing the +ceremony, was graciously pleased to observe, 'What, what, what? +Who, who, who? Why, why, why?') begins to be dyed and +varnished for the interesting occasion. She has a reputation for +giving smart accounts of things, and she must be at these people's +early, my dear, to lose nothing of the fun. Whereabout in the +bonnet and drapery announced by her name, any fragment of the +real woman may be concealed, is perhaps known to her maid; but +you could easily buy all you see of her, in Bond Street; or you +might scalp her, and peel her, and scrape her, and make two Lady +Tippinses out of her, and yet not penetrate to the genuine article. +She has a large gold eye-glass, has Lady Tippins, to survey the +proceedings with. If she had one in each eye, it might keep that +other drooping lid up, and look more uniform. But perennial youth +is in her artificial flowers, and her list of lovers is full. + +'Mortimer, you wretch,' says Lady Tippins, turning the eyeglass +about and about, 'where is your charge, the bridegroom?' + +'Give you my honour,' returns Mortimer, 'I don't know, and I don't +care.' + +'Miserable! Is that the way you do your duty?' + +'Beyond an impression that he is to sit upon my knee and be +seconded at some point of the solemnities, like a principal at a +prizefight, I assure you I have no notion what my duty is,' returns +Mortimer. + +Eugene is also in attendance, with a pervading air upon him of +having presupposed the ceremony to be a funeral, and of being +disappointed. The scene is the Vestry-room of St James's Church, +with a number of leathery old registers on shelves, that might be +bound in Lady Tippinses. + +But, hark! A carriage at the gate, and Mortimer's man arrives, +looking rather like a spurious Mephistopheles and an +unacknowledged member of that gentleman's family. Whom Lady +Tippins, surveying through her eye-glass, considers a fine man, +and quite a catch; and of whom Mortimer remarks, in the lowest +spirits, as he approaches, 'I believe this is my fellow, confound +him!' More carriages at the gate, and lo the rest of the characters. +Whom Lady Tippins, standing on a cushion, surveying through the +eye-glass, thus checks off. 'Bride; five-and-forty if a day, thirty +shillings a yard, veil fifteen pound, pocket-handkerchief a present. +Bridesmaids; kept down for fear of outshining bride, consequently +not girls, twelve and sixpence a yard, Veneering's flowers, snub- +nosed one rather pretty but too conscious of her stockings, bonnets +three pound ten. Twemlow; blessed release for the dear man if she +really was his daughter, nervous even under the pretence that she +is, well he may be. Mrs Veneering; never saw such velvet, say two +thousand pounds as she stands, absolute jeweller's window, father +must have been a pawnbroker, or how could these people do it? +Attendant unknowns; pokey.' + +Ceremony performed, register signed, Lady Tippins escorted out of +sacred edifice by Veneering, carriages rolling back to Stucconia, +servants with favours and flowers, Veneering's house reached, +drawing-rooms most magnificent. Here, the Podsnaps await the +happy party; Mr Podsnap, with his hair-brushes made the most of; +that imperial rocking-horse, Mrs Podsnap, majestically skittish. +Here, too, are Boots and Brewer, and the two other Buffers; each +Buffer with a flower in his button-hole, his hair curled, and his +gloves buttoned on tight, apparently come prepared, if anything +had happened to the bridegroom, to be married instantly. Here, +too, the bride's aunt and next relation; a widowed female of a +Medusa sort, in a stoney cap, glaring petrifaction at her fellow- +creatures. Here, too, the bride's trustee; an oilcake-fed style of +business-gentleman with mooney spectacles, and an object of +much interest. Veneering launching himself upon this trustee as +his oldest friend (which makes seven, Twemlow thought), and +confidentially retiring with him into the conservatory, it is +understood that Veneering is his co-trustee, and that they are +arranging about the fortune. Buffers are even overheard to whisper +Thir-ty Thou-sand Pou-nds! with a smack and a relish suggestive +of the very finest oysters. Pokey unknowns, amazed to find how +intimately they know Veneering, pluck up spirit, fold their arms, +and begin to contradict him before breakfast. What time Mrs +Veneering, carrying baby dressed as a bridesmaid, flits about +among the company, emitting flashes of many-coloured lightning +from diamonds, emeralds, and rubies. + +The Analytical, in course of time achieving what he feels to be due +to himself in bringing to a dignified conclusion several quarrels he +has on hand with the pastrycook's men, announces breakfast. +Dining-room no less magnificent than drawing-room; tables +superb; all the camels out, and all laden. Splendid cake, covered +with Cupids, silver, and true-lovers' knots. Splendid bracelet, +produced by Veneering before going down, and clasped upon the +arm of bride. Yet nobody seems to think much more of the +Veneerings than if they were a tolerable landlord and landlady +doing the thing in the way of business at so much a head. The +bride and bridegroom talk and laugh apart, as has always been +their manner; and the Buffers work their way through the dishes +with systematic perseverance, as has always been THEIR manner; +and the pokey unknowns are exceedingly benevolent to one another +in invitations to take glasses of champagne; but Mrs Podsnap, +arching her mane and rocking her grandest, has a far more +deferential audience than Mrs Veneering; and Podsnap all but does +the honours. + +Another dismal circumstance is, that Veneering, having the +captivating Tippins on one side of him and the bride's aunt on the +other, finds it immensely difficult to keep the peace. For, Medusa, +besides unmistakingly glaring petrifaction at the fascinating +Tippins, follows every lively remark made by that dear creature, +with an audible snort: which may be referable to a chronic cold in +the head, but may also be referable to indignation and contempt. +And this snort being regular in its reproduction, at length comes to +be expected by the company, who make embarrassing pauses when +it is falling due, and by waiting for it, render it more emphatic +when it comes. The stoney aunt has likewise an injurious way of +rejecting all dishes whereof Lady Tippins partakes: saying aloud +when they are proffered to her, 'No, no, no, not for me. Take it +away!' As with a set purpose of implying a misgiving that if +nourished upon similar meats, she might come to be like that +charmer, which would be a fatal consummation. Aware of her +enemy, Lady Tippins tries a youthful sally or two, and tries the eye- +glass; but, from the impenetrable cap and snorting armour of the +stoney aunt all weapons rebound powerless. + +Another objectionable circumstance is, that the pokey unknowns +support each other in being unimpressible. They persist in not +being frightened by the gold and silver camels, and they are +banded together to defy the elaborately chased ice-pails. They even +seem to unite in some vague utterance of the sentiment that the +landlord and landlady will make a pretty good profit out of this, +and they almost carry themselves like customers. Nor is there +compensating influence in the adorable bridesmaids; for, having +very little interest in the bride, and none at all in one another, those +lovely beings become, each one of her own account, depreciatingly +contemplative of the millinery present; while the bridegroom's +man, exhausted, in the back of his chair, appears to be improving +the occasion by penitentially contemplating all the wrong he has +ever done; the difference between him and his friend Eugene, +being, that the latter, in the back of HIS chair, appears to be +contemplating all the wrong he would like to do--particularly to the +present company. + +In which state of affairs, the usual ceremonies rather droop and +flag, and the splendid cake when cut by the fair hand of the bride +has but an indigestible appearance. However, all the things +indispensable to be said are said, and all the things indispensable +to be done are done (including Lady Tippins's yawning, falling +asleep, and waking insensible), and there is hurried preparation for +the nuptial journey to the Isle of Wight, and the outer air teems +with brass bands and spectators. In full sight of whom, the +malignant star of the Analytical has pre-ordained that pain and +ridicule shall befall him. For he, standing on the doorsteps to +grace the departure, is suddenly caught a most prodigious thump +on the side of his head with a heavy shoe, which a Buffer in the +hall, champagne-flushed and wild of aim, has borrowed on the +spur of the moment from the pastrycook's porter, to cast after the +departing pair as an auspicious omen. + +So they all go up again into the gorgeous drawing-rooms--all of +them flushed with breakfast, as having taken scarlatina sociably-- +and there the combined unknowns do malignant things with their +legs to ottomans, and take as much as possible out of the splendid +furniture. And so, Lady Tippins, quite undetermined whether +today is the day before yesterday, or the day after to-morrow, or the +week after next, fades away; and Mortimer Lightwood and Eugene +fade away, and Twemlow fades away, and the stoney aunt goes +away--she declines to fade, proving rock to the last--and even the +unknowns are slowly strained off, and it is all over. + +All over, that is to say, for the time being. But, there is another +time to come, and it comes in about a fortnight, and it comes to Mr +and Mrs Lammle on the sands at Shanklin, in the Isle of Wight. + +Mr and Mrs Lammle have walked for some time on the Shanklin +sands, and one may see by their footprints that they have not +walked arm in arm, and that they have not walked in a straight +track, and that they have walked in a moody humour; for, the lady +has prodded little spirting holes in the damp sand before her with +her parasol, and the gentleman has trailed his stick after him. As if +he were of the Mephistopheles family indeed, and had walked with +a drooping tail. + +'Do you mean to tell me, then, Sophronia--' + +Thus he begins after a long silence, when Sophronia flashes +fiercely, and turns upon him. + +'Don't put it upon ME, sir. I ask you, do YOU mean to tell me?' + +Mr Lammle falls silent again, and they walk as before. Mrs +Lammle opens her nostrils and bites her under-lip; Mr Lammle +takes his gingerous whiskers in his left hand, and, bringing them +together, frowns furtively at his beloved, out of a thick gingerous +bush. + +'Do I mean to say!' Mrs Lammle after a time repeats, with +indignation. 'Putting it on me! The unmanly disingenuousness!' + +Mr Lammle stops, releases his whiskers, and looks at her. 'The +what?' + +Mrs Lammle haughtily replies, without stopping, and without +looking back. 'The meanness.' + +He is at her side again in a pace or two, and he retorts, 'That is not +what you said. You said disingenuousness.' + +'What if I did?' + +'There is no "if" in the case. You did.' + +'I did, then. And what of it?' + +'What of it?' says Mr Lammle. 'Have you the face to utter the word +to me?' + +'The face, too!' replied Mrs Lammle, staring at him with cold +scorn. 'Pray, how dare you, sir, utter the word to me?' + +'I never did.' + +As this happens to be true, Mrs Lammle is thrown on the feminine +resource of saying, 'I don't care what you uttered or did not utter.' + +After a little more walking and a little more silence, Mr Lammle +breaks the latter. + +'You shall proceed in your own way. You claim a right to ask me +do I mean to tell you. Do I mean to tell you what?' + +'That you are a man of property?' + +'No.' + +'Then you married me on false pretences?' + +'So be it. Next comes what you mean to say. Do you mean to say +you are a woman of property?' + +'No.' + +'Then you married me on false pretences.' + +'If you were so dull a fortune-hunter that you deceived yourself, or +if you were so greedy and grasping that you were over-willing to +be deceived by appearances, is it my fault, you adventurer?' the +lady demands, with great asperity. + +'I asked Veneering, and he told me you were rich.' + +'Veneering!' with great contempt.' And what does Veneering know +about me!' + +'Was he not your trustee?' + +'No. I have no trustee, but the one you saw on the day when you +fraudulently married me. And his trust is not a very difficult one, +for it is only an annuity of a hundred and fifteen pounds. I think +there are some odd shillings or pence, if you are very particular.' + +Mr Lammle bestows a by no means loving look upon the partner of +his joys and sorrows, and he mutters something; but checks +himself. + +'Question for question. It is my turn again, Mrs Lammle. What +made you suppose me a man of property?' + +'You made me suppose you so. Perhaps you will deny that you +always presented yourself to me in that character?' + +'But you asked somebody, too. Come, Mrs Lammle, admission for +admission. You asked somebody?' + +'I asked Veneering.' + +'And Veneering knew as much of me as he knew of you, or as +anybody knows of him.' + +After more silent walking, the bride stops short, to say in a +passionate manner: + +'I never will forgive the Veneerings for this!' + +'Neither will I,' returns the bridegroom. + +With that, they walk again; she, making those angry spirts in the +sand; he, dragging that dejected tail. The tide is low, and seems to +have thrown them together high on the bare shore. A gull comes +sweeping by their heads and flouts them. There was a golden +surface on the brown cliffs but now, and behold they are only damp +earth. A taunting roar comes from the sea, and the far-out rollers +mount upon one another, to look at the entrapped impostors, and to +join in impish and exultant gambols. + +'Do you pretend to believe,' Mrs Lammle resumes, sternly, 'when +you talk of my marrying you for worldly advantages, that it was +within the bounds of reasonable probability that I would have +married you for yourself?' + +'Again there are two sides to the question, Mrs Lammle. What do +you pretend to believe?' + +'So you first deceive me and then insult me!' cries the lady, with a +heaving bosom. + +'Not at all. I have originated nothing. The double-edged question +was yours.' + +'Was mine!' the bride repeats, and her parasol breaks in her angry +hand. + +His colour has turned to a livid white, and ominous marks have +come to light about his nose, as if the finger of the very devil +himself had, within the last few moments, touched it here and +there. But he has repressive power, and she has none. + +'Throw it away,' he coolly recommends as to the parasol; 'you have +made it useless; you look ridiculous with it.' + +Whereupon she calls him in her rage, 'A deliberate villain,' and so +casts the broken thing from her as that it strikes him in falling. +The finger-marks are something whiter for the instant, but he +walks on at her side. + +She bursts into tears, declaring herself the wretchedest, the most +deceived, the worst-used, of women. Then she says that if she had +the courage to kill herself, she would do it. Then she calls him vile +impostor. Then she asks him, why, in the disappointment of his +base speculation, he does not take her life with his own hand, +under the present favourable circumstances. Then she cries again. +Then she is enraged again, and makes some mention of swindlers. +Finally, she sits down crying on a block of stone, and is in all the +known and unknown humours of her sex at once. Pending her +changes, those aforesaid marks in his face have come and gone, +now here now there, like white steps of a pipe on which the +diabolical performer has played a tune. Also his livid lips are +parted at last, as if he were breathless with running. Yet he is not. + +'Now, get up, Mrs Lammle, and let us speak reasonably.' + +She sits upon her stone, and takes no heed of him. + +'Get up, I tell you.' + +Raising her head, she looks contemptuously in his face, and +repeats, 'You tell me! Tell me, forsooth!' + +She affects not to know that his eyes are fastened on her as she +droops her head again; but her whole figure reveals that she knows +it uneasily. + +'Enough of this. Come! Do you hear? Get up.' + +Yielding to his hand, she rises, and they walk again; but this time +with their faces turned towards their place of residence. + +'Mrs Lammle, we have both been deceiving, and we have both +been deceived. We have both been biting, and we have both been +bitten. In a nut-shell, there's the state of the case.' + +'You sought me out--' + +'Tut! Let us have done with that. WE know very well how it was. +Why should you and I talk about it, when you and I can't disguise +it? To proceed. I am disappointed and cut a poor figure.' + +'Am I no one?' + +'Some one--and I was coming to you, if you had waited a moment. +You, too, are disappointed and cut a poor figure.' + +'An injured figure!' + +'You are now cool enough, Sophronia, to see that you can't be +injured without my being equally injured; and that therefore the +mere word is not to the purpose. When I look back, I wonder how +I can have been such a fool as to take you to so great an extent +upon trust.' + +'And when I look back--' the bride cries, interrupting. + +'And when you look back, you wonder how you can have been-- +you'll excuse the word?' + +'Most certainly, with so much reason. + +'--Such a fool as to take ME to so great an extent upon trust. But +the folly is committed on both sides. I cannot get rid of you; you +cannot get rid of me. What follows?' + +'Shame and misery,' the bride bitterly replies. + +'I don't know. A mutual understanding follows, and I think it may +carry us through. Here I split my discourse (give me your arm, +Sophronia), into three heads, to make it shorter and plainer. +Firstly, it's enough to have been done, without the mortification of +being known to have been done. So we agree to keep the fact to +ourselves. You agree?' + +'If it is possible, I do.' + +'Possible! We have pretended well enough to one another. Can't +we, united, pretend to the world? Agreed. Secondly, we owe the +Veneerings a grudge, and we owe all other people the grudge of +wishing them to be taken in, as we ourselves have been taken in. +Agreed?' + +'Yes. Agreed.' + +'We come smoothly to thirdly. You have called me an adventurer, +Sophronia. So I am. In plain uncomplimentary English, so I am. +So are you, my dear. So are many people. We agree to keep our +own secret, and to work together in furtherance of our own +schemes.' + +'What schemes?' + +'Any scheme that will bring us money. By our own schemes, I +mean our joint interest. Agreed?' + +She answers, after a little hesitation, 'I suppose so. Agreed.' + +'Carried at once, you see! Now, Sophronia, only half a dozen +words more. We know one another perfectly. Don't be tempted +into twitting me with the past knowledge that you have of me, +because it is identical with the past knowledge that I have of you, +and in twitting me, you twit yourself, and I don't want to hear you +do it. With this good understanding established between us, it is +better never done. To wind up all:--You have shown temper today, +Sophronia. Don't be betrayed into doing so again, because I have a +Devil of a temper myself.' + +So, the happy pair, with this hopeful marriage contract thus signed, +sealed, and delivered, repair homeward. If, when those infernal +finger-marks were on the white and breathless countenance of +Alfred Lammle, Esquire, they denoted that he conceived the +purpose of subduing his dear wife Mrs Alfred Lammle, by at once +divesting her of any lingering reality or pretence of self-respect, +the purpose would seem to have been presently executed. The +mature young lady has mighty little need of powder, now, for her +downcast face, as he escorts her in the light of the setting sun to +their abode of bliss. + + + +Chapter 11 + +PODSNAPPERY + + +Mr Podsnap was well to do, and stood very high in Mr Podsnap's +opinion. Beginning with a good inheritance, he had married a +good inheritance, and had thriven exceedingly in the Marine +Insurance way, and was quite satisfied. He never could make out +why everybody was not quite satisfied, and he felt conscious that +he set a brilliant social example in being particularly well satisfied +with most things, and, above all other things, with himself. + +Thus happily acquainted with his own merit and importance, Mr +Podsnap settled that whatever he put behind him he put out of +existence. There was a dignified conclusiveness--not to add a +grand convenience--in this way of getting rid of disagreeables +which had done much towards establishing Mr Podsnap in his +lofty place in Mr Podsnap's satisfaction. 'I don't want to know +about it; I don't choose to discuss it; I don't admit it!' Mr Podsnap +had even acquired a peculiar flourish of his right arm in often +clearing the world of its most difficult problems, by sweeping them +behind him (and consequently sheer away) with those words and a +flushed face. For they affronted him. + +Mr Podsnap's world was not a very large world, morally; no, nor +even geographically: seeing that although his business was +sustained upon commerce with other countries, he considered other +countries, with that important reservation, a mistake, and of their +manners and customs would conclusively observe, 'Not English!' +when, PRESTO! with a flourish of the arm, and a flush of the face, +they were swept away. Elsewhere, the world got up at eight, +shaved close at a quarter-past, breakfasted at nine, went to the City +at ten, came home at half-past five, and dined at seven. Mr +Podsnap's notions of the Arts in their integrity might have been +stated thus. Literature; large print, respectfully descriptive of +getting up at eight, shaving close at a quarter past, breakfasting at +nine, going to the City at ten, coming home at half-past five, and +dining at seven. Painting and Sculpture; models and portraits +representing Professors of getting up at eight, shaving close at a +quarter past, breakfasting at nine, going to the City at ten, coming +home at half-past five, and dining at seven. Music; a respectable +performance (without variations) on stringed and wind +instruments, sedately expressive of getting up at eight, shaving +close at a quarter past, breakfasting at nine, going to the City at +ten, coming home at half-past five, and dining at seven. Nothing +else to be permitted to those same vagrants the Arts, on pain of +excommunication. Nothing else To Be--anywhere! + +As a so eminently respectable man, Mr Podsnap was sensible of its +being required of him to take Providence under his protection. +Consequently he always knew exactly what Providence meant. +Inferior and less respectable men might fall short of that mark, but +Mr Podsnap was always up to it. And it was very remarkable (and +must have been very comfortable) that what Providence meant, +was invariably what Mr Podsnap meant. + +These may be said to have been the articles of a faith and school +which the present chapter takes the liberty of calling, after its +representative man, Podsnappery. They were confined within close +bounds, as Mr Podsnap's own head was confined by his shirt- +collar; and they were enunciated with a sounding pomp that +smacked of the creaking of Mr Podsnap's own boots. + +There was a Miss Podsnap. And this young rocking-horse was +being trained in her mother's art of prancing in a stately manner +without ever getting on. But the high parental action was not yet +imparted to her, and in truth she was but an undersized damsel, +with high shoulders, low spirits, chilled elbows, and a rasped +surface of nose, who seemed to take occasional frosty peeps out of +childhood into womanhood, and to shrink back again, overcome by +her mother's head-dress and her father from head to foot--crushed +by the mere dead-weight of Podsnappery. + +A certain institution in Mr Podsnap's mind which he called 'the +young person' may be considered to have been embodied in Miss +Podsnap, his daughter. It was an inconvenient and exacting +institution, as requiring everything in the universe to be filed down +and fitted to it. The question about everything was, would it bring +a blush into the cheek of the young person? And the inconvenience +of the young person was, that, according to Mr Podsnap, she +seemed always liable to burst into blushes when there was no need +at all. There appeared to be no line of demarcation between the +young person's excessive innocence, and another person's guiltiest +knowledge. Take Mr Podsnap's word for it, and the soberest tints +of drab, white, lilac, and grey, were all flaming red to this +troublesome Bull of a young person. + +The Podsnaps lived in a shady angle adjoining Portman Square. +They were a kind of people certain to dwell in the shade, wherever +they dwelt. Miss Podsnap's life had been, from her first +appearance on this planet, altogether of a shady order; for, Mr +Podsnap's young person was likely to get little good out of +association with other young persons, and had therefore been +restricted to companionship with not very congenial older persons, +and with massive furniture. Miss Podsnap's early views of life +being principally derived from the reflections of it in her father's +boots, and in the walnut and rosewood tables of the dim drawing- +rooms, and in their swarthy giants of looking-glasses, were of a +sombre cast; and it was not wonderful that now, when she was on +most days solemnly tooled through the Park by the side of her +mother in a great tall custard-coloured phaeton, she showed above +the apron of that vehicle like a dejected young person sitting up in +bed to take a startled look at things in general, and very strongly +desiring to get her head under the counterpane again. + +Said Mr Podsnap to Mrs Podsnap, 'Georgiana is almost eighteen.' + +Said Mrs Podsnap to Mr Podsnap, assenting, 'Almost eighteen.' + +Said Mr Podsnap then to Mrs Podsnap, 'Really I think we should +have some people on Georgiana's birthday.' + +Said Mrs Podsnap then to Mr Podsnap, 'Which will enable us to +clear off all those people who are due.' + +So it came to pass that Mr and Mrs Podsnap requested the honour +of the company of seventeen friends of their souls at dinner; and +that they substituted other friends of their souls for such of the +seventeen original friends of their souls as deeply regretted that a +prior engagement prevented their having the honour of dining with +Mr and Mrs Podsnap, in pursuance of their kind invitation; and +that Mrs Podsnap said of all these inconsolable personages, as she +checked them off with a pencil in her list, 'Asked, at any rate, and +got rid of;' and that they successfully disposed of a good many +friends of their souls in this way, and felt their consciences much +lightened. + +There were still other friends of their souls who were not entitled to +be asked to dinner, but had a claim to be invited to come and take +a haunch of mutton vapour-bath at half-past nine. For the clearing +off of these worthies, Mrs Podsnap added a small and early +evening to the dinner, and looked in at the music-shop to bespeak a +well-conducted automaton to come and play quadrilles for a carpet +dance. + +Mr and Mrs Veneering, and Mr and Mrs Veneering's bran-new +bride and bridegroom, were of the dinner company; but the +Podsnap establishment had nothing else in common with the +Veneerings. Mr Podsnap could tolerate taste in a mushroom man +who stood in need of that sort of thing, but was far above it +himself. Hideous solidity was the characteristic of the Podsnap +plate. Everything was made to look as heavy as it could, and to +take up as much room as possible. Everything said boastfully, +'Here you have as much of me in my ugliness as if I were only +lead; but I am so many ounces of precious metal worth so much an +ounce;--wouldn't you like to melt me down?' A corpulent +straddling epergne, blotched all over as if it had broken out in an +eruption rather than been ornamented, delivered this address from +an unsightly silver platform in the centre of the table. Four silver +wine-coolers, each furnished with four staring heads, each head +obtrusively carrying a big silver ring in each of its ears, conveyed +the sentiment up and down the table, and handed it on to the pot- +bellied silver salt-cellars. All the big silver spoons and forks +widened the mouths of the company expressly for the purpose of +thrusting the sentiment down their throats with every morsel they +ate. + +The majority of the guests were like the plate, and included several +heavy articles weighing ever so much. But there was a foreign +gentleman among them: whom Mr Podsnap had invited after much +debate with himself--believing the whole European continent to be +in mortal alliance against the young person--and there was a droll +disposition, not only on the part of Mr Podsnap but of everybody +else, to treat him as if he were a child who was hard of hearing. + +As a delicate concession to this unfortunately-born foreigner, Mr +Podsnap, in receiving him, had presented his wife as 'Madame +Podsnap;' also his daughter as 'Mademoiselle Podsnap,' with some +inclination to add 'ma fille,' in which bold venture, however, he +checked himself. The Veneerings being at that time the only other +arrivals, he had added (in a condescendingly explanatory manner), +'Monsieur Vey-nair-reeng,' and had then subsided into English. + +'How Do You Like London?' Mr Podsnap now inquired from his +station of host, as if he were administering something in the nature +of a powder or potion to the deaf child; 'London, Londres, London?' + +The foreign gentleman admired it. + +'You find it Very Large?' said Mr Podsnap, spaciously. + +The foreign gentleman found it very large. + +'And Very Rich?' + +The foreign gentleman found it, without doubt, enormement riche. + +'Enormously Rich, We say,' returned Mr Podsnap, in a +condescending manner. 'Our English adverbs do Not terminate in +Mong, and We Pronounce the "ch" as if there were a "t" before it. +We say Ritch.' + +'Reetch,' remarked the foreign gentleman. + +'And Do You Find, Sir,' pursued Mr Podsnap, with dignity, 'Many +Evidences that Strike You, of our British Constitution in the +Streets Of The World's Metropolis, London, Londres, London?' + +The foreign gentleman begged to be pardoned, but did not +altogether understand. + +'The Constitution Britannique,' Mr Podsnap explained, as if he +were teaching in an infant school.' We Say British, But You Say +Britannique, You Know' (forgivingly, as if that were not his fault). +'The Constitution, Sir.' + +The foreign gentleman said, 'Mais, yees; I know eem.' + +A youngish sallowish gentleman in spectacles, with a lumpy +forehead, seated in a supplementary chair at a corner of the table, +here caused a profound sensation by saying, in a raised voice, +'ESKER,' and then stopping dead. + +'Mais oui,' said the foreign gentleman, turning towards him. 'Est-ce +que? Quoi donc?' + +But the gentleman with the lumpy forehead having for the time +delivered himself of all that he found behind his lumps, spake for +the time no more. + +'I Was Inquiring,' said Mr Podsnap, resuming the thread of his +discourse, 'Whether You Have Observed in our Streets as We +should say, Upon our Pavvy as You would say, any Tokens--' + +The foreign gentleman, with patient courtesy entreated pardon; +'But what was tokenz?' + +'Marks,' said Mr Podsnap; 'Signs, you know, Appearances-- +Traces.' + +'Ah! Of a Orse?' inquired the foreign gentleman. + +'We call it Horse,' said Mr Podsnap, with forbearance. 'In +England, Angleterre, England, We Aspirate the "H," and We Say +"Horse." Only our Lower Classes Say "Orse!"' + +'Pardon,' said the foreign gentleman; 'I am alwiz wrong!' + +'Our Language,' said Mr Podsnap, with a gracious consciousness +of being always right, 'is Difficult. Ours is a Copious Language, +and Trying to Strangers. I will not Pursue my Question.' + +But the lumpy gentleman, unwilling to give it up, again madly +said, 'ESKER,' and again spake no more. + +'It merely referred,' Mr Podsnap explained, with a sense of +meritorious proprietorship, 'to Our Constitution, Sir. We +Englishmen are Very Proud of our Constitution, Sir. It Was +Bestowed Upon Us By Providence. No Other Country is so +Favoured as This Country.' + +'And ozer countries?--' the foreign gentleman was beginning, when +Mr Podsnap put him right again. + +'We do not say Ozer; we say Other: the letters are "T" and "H;" +You say Tay and Aish, You Know; (still with clemency). The +sound is "th"--"th!"' + +'And OTHER countries,' said the foreign gentleman. 'They do +how?' + +'They do, Sir,' returned Mr Podsnap, gravely shaking his head; +'they do--I am sorry to be obliged to say it--AS they do.' + +'It was a little particular of Providence,' said the foreign gentleman, +laughing; 'for the frontier is not large.' + +'Undoubtedly,' assented Mr Podsnap; 'But So it is. It was the +Charter of the Land. This Island was Blest, Sir, to the Direct +Exclusion of such Other Countries as--as there may happen to be. +And if we were all Englishmen present, I would say,' added Mr +Podsnap, looking round upon his compatriots, and sounding +solemnly with his theme, 'that there is in the Englishman a +combination of qualities, a modesty, an independence, a +responsibility, a repose, combined with an absence of everything +calculated to call a blush into the cheek of a young person, which +one would seek in vain among the Nations of the Earth.' + +Having delivered this little summary, Mr Podsnap's face flushed, +as he thought of the remote possibility of its being at all qualified +by any prejudiced citizen of any other country; and, with his +favourite right-arm flourish, he put the rest of Europe and the +whole of Asia, Africa, and America nowhere. + +The audience were much edified by this passage of words; and Mr +Podsnap, feeling that he was in rather remarkable force to-day, +became smiling and conversational. + +'Has anything more been heard, Veneering,' he inquired, 'of the +lucky legatee?' + +'Nothing more,' returned Veneering, 'than that he has come into +possession of the property. I am told people now call him The +Golden Dustman. I mentioned to you some time ago, I think, that +the young lady whose intended husband was murdered is daughter +to a clerk of mine?' + +'Yes, you told me that,' said Podsnap; 'and by-the-bye, I wish you +would tell it again here, for it's a curious coincidence--curious that +the first news of the discovery should have been brought straight to +your table (when I was there), and curious that one of your people +should have been so nearly interested in it. Just relate that, will +you?' + +Veneering was more than ready to do it, for he had prospered +exceedingly upon the Harmon Murder, and had turned the social +distinction it conferred upon him to the account of making several +dozen of bran-new bosom-friends. Indeed, such another lucky hit +would almost have set him up in that way to his satisfaction. So, +addressing himself to the most desirable of his neighbours, while +Mrs Veneering secured the next most desirable, he plunged into +the case, and emerged from it twenty minutes afterwards with a +Bank Director in his arms. In the mean time, Mrs Veneering had +dived into the same waters for a wealthy Ship-Broker, and had +brought him up, safe and sound, by the hair. Then Mrs Veneering +had to relate, to a larger circle, how she had been to see the girl, +and how she was really pretty, and (considering her station) +presentable. And this she did with such a successful display of her +eight aquiline fingers and their encircling jewels, that she happily +laid hold of a drifting General Officer, his wife and daughter, and +not only restored their animation which had become suspended, +but made them lively friends within an hour. + +Although Mr Podsnap would in a general way have highly +disapproved of Bodies in rivers as ineligible topics with reference +to the cheek of the young person, he had, as one may say, a share +in this affair which made him a part proprietor. As its returns were +immediate, too, in the way of restraining the company from +speechless contemplation of the wine-coolers, it paid, and he was +satisfied. + +And now the haunch of mutton vapour-bath having received a +gamey infusion, and a few last touches of sweets and coffee, was +quite ready, and the bathers came; but not before the discreet +automaton had got behind the bars of the piano music-desk, and +there presented the appearance of a captive languishing in a rose- +wood jail. And who now so pleasant or so well assorted as Mr and +Mrs Alfred Lammle, he all sparkle, she all gracious contentment, +both at occasional intervals exchanging looks like partners at cards +who played a game against All England. + +There was not much youth among the bathers, but there was no +youth (the young person always excepted) in the articles of +Podsnappery. Bald bathers folded their arms and talked to Mr +Podsnap on the hearthrug; sleek-whiskered bathers, with hats in +their hands, lunged at Mrs Podsnap and retreated; prowling +bathers, went about looking into ornamental boxes and bowls as if +they had suspicions of larceny on the part of the Podsnaps, and +expected to find something they had lost at the bottom; bathers of +the gentler sex sat silently comparing ivory shoulders. All this +time and always, poor little Miss Podsnap, whose tiny efforts (if +she had made any) were swallowed up in the magnificence of her +mother's rocking, kept herself as much out of sight and mind as +she could, and appeared to be counting on many dismal returns of +the day. It was somehow understood, as a secret article in the state +proprieties of Podsnappery that nothing must be said about the day. +Consequently this young damsel's nativity was hushed up and +looked over, as if it were agreed on all hands that it would have +been better that she had never been born. + +The Lammles were so fond of the dear Veneerings that they could +not for some time detach themselves from those excellent friends; +but at length, either a very open smile on Mr Lammle's part, or a +very secret elevation of one of his gingerous eyebrows--certainly +the one or the other--seemed to say to Mrs Lammle, 'Why don't you +play?' And so, looking about her, she saw Miss Podsnap, and +seeming to say responsively, 'That card?' and to be answered, 'Yes,' +went and sat beside Miss Podsnap. + +Mrs Lammle was overjoyed to escape into a corner for a little quiet +talk. + +It promised to be a very quiet talk, for Miss Podsnap replied in a +flutter, 'Oh! Indeed, it's very kind of you, but I am afraid I DON'T +talk.' + +'Let us make a beginning,' said the insinuating Mrs Lammle, with +her best smile. + +'Oh! I am afraid you'll find me very dull. But Ma talks!' + +That was plainly to be seen, for Ma was talking then at her usual +canter, with arched head and mane, opened eyes and nostrils. + +'Fond of reading perhaps?' + +'Yes. At least I--don't mind that so much,' returned Miss Podsnap. + +'M-m-m-m-music. So insinuating was Mrs Lammle that she got +half a dozen ms into the word before she got it out. + +'I haven't nerve to play even if I could. Ma plays.' + +(At exactly the same canter, and with a certain flourishing +appearance of doing something, Ma did, in fact, occasionally take +a rock upon the instrument.) + +'Of course you like dancing?' + +'Oh no, I don't,' said Miss Podsnap. + +'No? With your youth and attractions? Truly, my dear, you +surprise me!' + +'I can't say,' observed Miss Podsnap, after hesitating considerably, +and stealing several timid looks at Mrs Lammle's carefully +arranged face, 'how I might have liked it if I had been a--you won't +mention it, WILL you?' + +'My dear! Never!' + +'No, I am sure you won't. I can't say then how I should have liked +it, if I had been a chimney-sweep on May-day.' + +'Gracious!' was the exclamation which amazement elicited from +Mrs Lammle. + +'There! I knew you'd wonder. But you won't mention it, will you?' + +'Upon my word, my love,' said Mrs Lammle, 'you make me ten +times more desirous, now I talk to you, to know you well than I +was when I sat over yonder looking at you. How I wish we could +be real friends! Try me as a real friend. Come! Don't fancy me a +frumpy old married woman, my dear; I was married but the other +day, you know; I am dressed as a bride now, you see. About the +chimney-sweeps?' + +'Hush! Ma'll hear.' + +'She can't hear from where she sits.' + +'Don't you be too sure of that,' said Miss Podsnap, in a lower voice. +'Well, what I mean is, that they seem to enjoy it.' + +'And that perhaps you would have enjoyed it, if you had been one +of them?' + +Miss Podsnap nodded significantly. + +'Then you don't enjoy it now?' + +'How is it possible?' said Miss Podsnap. 'Oh it is such a dreadful +thing! If I was wicked enough--and strong enough--to kill +anybody, it should be my partner.' + +This was such an entirely new view of the Terpsichorean art as +socially practised, that Mrs Lammle looked at her young friend in +some astonishment. Her young friend sat nervously twiddling her +fingers in a pinioned attitude, as if she were trying to hide her +elbows. But this latter Utopian object (in short sleeves) always +appeared to be the great inoffensive aim of her existence. + +'It sounds horrid, don't it?' said Miss Podsnap, with a penitential +face. + +Mrs Lammle, not very well knowing what to answer, resolved +herself into a look of smiling encouragement. + +'But it is, and it always has been,' pursued Miss Podsnap, 'such a +trial to me! I so dread being awful. And it is so awful! No one +knows what I suffered at Madame Sauteuse's, where I learnt to +dance and make presentation-curtseys, and other dreadful things-- +or at least where they tried to teach me. Ma can do it.' + +'At any rate, my love,' said Mrs Lammle, soothingly, 'that's over.' + +'Yes, it's over,' returned Miss Podsnap, 'but there's nothing gained +by that. It's worse here, than at Madame Sauteuse's. Ma was +there, and Ma's here; but Pa wasn't there, and company wasn't +there, and there were not real partners there. Oh there's Ma +speaking to the man at the piano! Oh there's Ma going up to +somebody! Oh I know she's going to bring him to me! Oh please +don't, please don't, please don't! Oh keep away, keep away, keep +away!' These pious ejaculations Miss Podsnap uttered with her +eyes closed, and her head leaning back against the wall. + +But the Ogre advanced under the pilotage of Ma, and Ma said, +'Georgiana, Mr Grompus,' and the Ogre clutched his victim and +bore her off to his castle in the top couple. Then the discreet +automaton who had surveyed his ground, played a blossomless +tuneless 'set,' and sixteen disciples of Podsnappery went through +the figures of - 1, Getting up at eight and shaving close at a quarter +past - 2, Breakfasting at nine - 3, Going to the City at ten - 4, +Coming home at half-past five - 5, Dining at seven, and the grand +chain. + +While these solemnities were in progress, Mr Alfred Lammle +(most loving of husbands) approached the chair of Mrs Alfred +Lammle (most loving of wives), and bending over the back of it, +trifled for some few seconds with Mrs Lammle's bracelet. Slightly +in contrast with this brief airy toying, one might have noticed a +certain dark attention in Mrs Lammle's face as she said some +words with her eyes on Mr Lammle's waistcoat, and seemed in +return to receive some lesson. But it was all done as a breath +passes from a mirror. + +And now, the grand chain riveted to the last link, the discreet +automaton ceased, and the sixteen, two and two, took a walk +among the furniture. And herein the unconsciousness of the Ogre +Grompus was pleasantly conspicuous; for, that complacent +monster, believing that he was giving Miss Podsnap a treat, +prolonged to the utmost stretch of possibility a peripatetic account +of an archery meeting; while his victim, heading the procession of +sixteen as it slowly circled about, like a revolving funeral, never +raised her eyes except once to steal a glance at Mrs Lammle, +expressive of intense despair. + +At length the procession was dissolved by the violent arrival of a +nutmeg, before which the drawing-room door bounced open as if it +were a cannon-ball; and while that fragrant article, dispersed +through several glasses of coloured warm water, was going the +round of society, Miss Podsnap returned to her seat by her new +friend. + +'Oh my goodness,' said Miss Podsnap. 'THAT'S over! I hope you +didn't look at me.' + +'My dear, why not?' + +'Oh I know all about myself,' said Miss Podsnap. + +'I'll tell you something I know about you, my dear,' returned Mrs +Lammle in her winning way, 'and that is, you are most +unnecessarily shy.' + +'Ma ain't,' said Miss Podsnap. '--I detest you! Go along!' This +shot was levelled under her breath at the gallant Grompus for +bestowing an insinuating smile upon her in passing. + +'Pardon me if I scarcely see, my dear Miss Podsnap,' Mrs Lammle +was beginning when the young lady interposed. + +'If we are going to be real friends (and I suppose we are, for you +are the only person who ever proposed it) don't let us be awful. It's +awful enough to BE Miss Podsnap, without being called so. Call +me Georgiana.' + +'Dearest Georgiana,' Mrs Lammle began again. + +'Thank you,' said Miss Podsnap. + +'Dearest Georgiana, pardon me if I scarcely see, my love, why your +mamma's not being shy, is a reason why you should be.' + +'Don't you really see that?' asked Miss Podsnap, plucking at her +fingers in a troubled manner, and furtively casting her eyes now on +Mrs Lammle, now on the ground. 'Then perhaps it isn't?' + +'My dearest Georgiana, you defer much too readily to my poor +opinion. Indeed it is not even an opinion, darling, for it is only a +confession of my dullness.' + +'Oh YOU are not dull,' returned Miss Podsnap. 'I am dull, but you +couldn't have made me talk if you were.' + +Some little touch of conscience answering this perception of her +having gained a purpose, called bloom enough into Mrs Lammle's +face to make it look brighter as she sat smiling her best smile on +her dear Georgiana, and shaking her head with an affectionate +playfulness. Not that it meant anything, but that Georgiana +seemed to like it. + +'What I mean is,' pursued Georgiana, 'that Ma being so endowed +with awfulness, and Pa being so endowed with awfulness, and +there being so much awfulness everywhere--I mean, at least, +everywhere where I am--perhaps it makes me who am so deficient +in awfulness, and frightened at it--I say it very badly--I don't know +whether you can understand what I mean?' + +'Perfectly, dearest Georgiana!' Mrs Lammle was proceeding with +every reassuring wile, when the head of that young lady suddenly +went back against the wall again and her eyes closed. + +'Oh there's Ma being awful with somebody with a glass in his eye! +Oh I know she's going to bring him here! Oh don't bring him, +don't bring him! Oh he'll be my partner with his glass in his eye! +Oh what shall I do!' This time Georgiana accompanied her +ejaculations with taps of her feet upon the floor, and was altogether +in quite a desperate condition. But, there was no escape from the +majestic Mrs Podsnap's production of an ambling stranger, with +one eye screwed up into extinction and the other framed and +glazed, who, having looked down out of that organ, as if he +descried Miss Podsnap at the bottom of some perpendicular shaft, +brought her to the surface, and ambled off with her. And then the +captive at the piano played another 'set,' expressive of his mournful +aspirations after freedom, and other sixteen went through the +former melancholy motions, and the ambler took Miss Podsnap for +a furniture walk, as if he had struck out an entirely original +conception. + +In the mean time a stray personage of a meek demeanour, who had +wandered to the hearthrug and got among the heads of tribes +assembled there in conference with Mr Podsnap, eliminated Mr +Podsnap's flush and flourish by a highly unpolite remark; no less +than a reference to the circumstance that some half-dozen people +had lately died in the streets, of starvation. It was clearly ill-timed +after dinner. It was not adapted to the cheek of the young person. +It was not in good taste. + +'I don't believe it,' said Mr Podsnap, putting it behind him. + +The meek man was afraid we must take it as proved, because there +were the Inquests and the Registrar's returns. + +'Then it was their own fault,' said Mr Podsnap. + +Veneering and other elders of tribes commended this way out of it. +At once a short cut and a broad road. + +The man of meek demeanour intimated that truly it would seem +from the facts, as if starvation had been forced upon the culprits in +question--as if, in their wretched manner, they had made their +weak protests against it--as if they would have taken the liberty of +staving it off if they could--as if they would rather not have been +starved upon the whole, if perfectly agreeable to all parties. + +'There is not,' said Mr Podsnap, flushing angrily, 'there is not a +country in the world, sir, where so noble a provision is made for +the poor as in this country.' + +The meek man was quite willing to concede that, but perhaps it +rendered the matter even worse, as showing that there must be +something appallingly wrong somewhere. + +'Where?' said Mr Podsnap. + +The meek man hinted Wouldn't it be well to try, very seriously, to +find out where? + +'Ah!' said Mr Podsnap. 'Easy to say somewhere; not so easy to say +where! But I see what you are driving at. I knew it from the first. +Centralization. No. Never with my consent. Not English.' + +An approving murmur arose from the heads of tribes; as saying, +'There you have him! Hold him!' + +He was not aware (the meek man submitted of himself) that he +was driving at any ization. He had no favourite ization that he +knew of. But he certainly was more staggered by these terrible +occurrences than he was by names, of howsoever so many +syllables. Might he ask, was dying of destitution and neglect +necessarily English? + +'You know what the population of London is, I suppose,' said Mr +Podsnap. + +The meek man supposed he did, but supposed that had absolutely +nothing to do with it, if its laws were well administered. + +'And you know; at least I hope you know;' said Mr Podsnap, with +severity, 'that Providence has declared that you shall have the poor +always with you?' + +The meek man also hoped he knew that. + +'I am glad to hear it,' said Mr Podsnap with a portentous air. 'I am +glad to hear it. It will render you cautious how you fly in the face +of Providence.' + +In reference to that absurd and irreverent conventional phrase, the +meek man said, for which Mr Podsnap was not responsible, he the +meek man had no fear of doing anything so impossible; but-- + +But Mr Podsnap felt that the time had come for flushing and +flourishing this meek man down for good. So he said: + +'I must decline to pursue this painful discussion. It is not pleasant +to my feelings; it is repugnant to my feelings. I have said that I do +not admit these things. I have also said that if they do occur (not +that I admit it), the fault lies with the sufferers themselves. It is not +for ME'--Mr Podsnap pointed 'me' forcibly, as adding by +implication though it may be all very well for YOU--'it is not for +me to impugn the workings of Providence. I know better than that, +I trust, and I have mentioned what the intentions of Providence are. +Besides,' said Mr Podsnap, flushing high up among his hair- +brushes, with a strong consciousness of personal affront, 'the +subject is a very disagreeable one. I will go so far as to say it is an +odious one. It is not one to be introduced among our wives and +young persons, and I--' He finished with that flourish of his arm +which added more expressively than any words, And I remove it +from the face of the earth. + +Simultaneously with this quenching of the meek man's ineffectual +fire; Georgiana having left the ambler up a lane of sofa, in a No +Thoroughfare of back drawing-room, to find his own way out, +came back to Mrs Lammle. And who should be with Mrs +Lammle, but Mr Lammle. So fond of her! + +'Alfred, my love, here is my friend. Georgiana, dearest girl, you +must like my husband next to me. + +Mr Lammle was proud to be so soon distinguished by this special +commendation to Miss Podsnap's favour. But if Mr Lammle were +prone to be jealous of his dear Sophronia's friendships, he would +be jealous of her feeling towards Miss Podsnap. + +'Say Georgiana, darling,' interposed his wife. + +'Towards--shall I?--Georgiana.' Mr Lammle uttered the name, +with a delicate curve of his right hand, from his lips outward. 'For +never have I known Sophronia (who is not apt to take sudden +likings) so attracted and so captivated as she is by--shall I once +more?--Georgiana.' + +The object of this homage sat uneasily enough in receipt of it, and +then said, turning to Mrs Lammle, much embarrassed: + +'I wonder what you like me for! I am sure I can't think.' + +'Dearest Georgiana, for yourself. For your difference from all +around you.' + +'Well! That may be. For I think I like you for your difference from +all around me,' said Georgiana with a smile of relief. + +'We must be going with the rest,' observed Mrs Lammle, rising +with a show of unwillingness, amidst a general dispersal. 'We are +real friends, Georgiana dear?' + +'Real.' + +'Good night, dear girl!' + +She had established an attraction over the shrinking nature upon +which her smiling eyes were fixed, for Georgiana held her hand +while she answered in a secret and half-frightened tone: + +'Don't forget me when you are gone away. And come again soon. +Good night!' + +Charming to see Mr and Mrs Lammle taking leave so gracefully, +and going down the stairs so lovingly and sweetly. Not quite so +charming to see their smiling faces fall and brood as they dropped +moodily into separate corners of their little carriage. But to be sure +that was a sight behind the scenes, which nobody saw, and which +nobody was meant to see. + +Certain big, heavy vehicles, built on the model of the Podsnap +plate, took away the heavy articles of guests weighing ever so +much; and the less valuable articles got away after their various +manners; and the Podsnap plate was put to bed. As Mr Podsnap +stood with his back to the drawing-room fire, pulling up his +shirtcollar, like a veritable cock of the walk literally pluming +himself in the midst of his possessions, nothing would have +astonished him more than an intimation that Miss Podsnap, or any +other young person properly born and bred, could not be exactly +put away like the plate, brought out like the plate, polished like the +plate, counted, weighed, and valued like the plate. That such a +young person could possibly have a morbid vacancy in the heart for +anything younger than the plate, or less monotonous than the plate; +or that such a young person's thoughts could try to scale the region +bounded on the north, south, east, and west, by the plate; was a +monstrous imagination which he would on the spot have flourished +into space. This perhaps in some sort arose from Mr Podsnap's +blushing young person being, so to speak, all cheek; whereas there +is a possibility that there may be young persons of a rather more +complex organization. + +If Mr Podsnap, pulling up his shirt-collar, could only have heard +himself called 'that fellow' in a certain short dialogue, which +passed between Mr and Mrs Lammle in their opposite corners of +their little carriage, rolling home! + +'Sophronia, are you awake?' + +'Am I likely to be asleep, sir?' + +'Very likely, I should think, after that fellow's company. Attend to +what I am going to say.' + +'I have attended to what you have already said, have I not? What +else have I been doing all to-night.' + +'Attend, I tell you,' (in a raised voice) 'to what I am going to say. +Keep close to that idiot girl. Keep her under your thumb. You +have her fast, and you are not to let her go. Do you hear?' + +'I hear you.' + +'I foresee there is money to be made out of this, besides taking that +fellow down a peg. We owe each other money, you know.' + +Mrs Lammle winced a little at the reminder, but only enough to +shake her scents and essences anew into the atmosphere of the +little carriage, as she settled herself afresh in her own dark corner. + + + +Chapter 12 + +THE SWEAT OF AN HONEST MAN'S BROW + + +Mr Mortimer Lightwood and Mr Eugene Wrayburn took a coffee- +house dinner together in Mr Lightwood's office. They had newly +agreed to set up a joint establishment together. They had taken a +bachelor cottage near Hampton, on the brink of the Thames, with a +lawn, and a boat-house; and all things fitting, and were to float +with the stream through the summer and the Long Vacation. + +It was not summer yet, but spring; and it was not gentle spring +ethereally mild, as in Thomson's Seasons, but nipping spring with +an easterly wind, as in Johnson's, Jackson's, Dickson's, Smith's, +and Jones's Seasons. The grating wind sawed rather than blew; +and as it sawed, the sawdust whirled about the sawpit. Every +street was a sawpit, and there were no top-sawyers; every +passenger was an under-sawyer, with the sawdust blinding him +and choking him. + +That mysterious paper currency which circulates in London when +the wind blows, gyrated here and there and everywhere. Whence +can it come, whither can it go? It hangs on every bush, flutters in +every tree, is caught flying by the electric wires, haunts every +enclosure, drinks at every pump, cowers at every grating, shudders +upon every plot of grass, seeks rest in vain behind the legions of +iron rails. In Paris, where nothing is wasted, costly and luxurious +city though it be, but where wonderful human ants creep out of +holes and pick up every scrap, there is no such thing. There, it +blows nothing but dust. There, sharp eyes and sharp stomachs +reap even the east wind, and get something out of it. + +The wind sawed, and the sawdust whirled. The shrubs wrung +their many hands, bemoaning that they had been over-persuaded +by the sun to bud; the young leaves pined; the sparrows repented of +their early marriages, like men and women; the colours of the +rainbow were discernible, not in floral spring, but in the faces of +the people whom it nibbled and pinched. And ever the wind +sawed, and the sawdust whirled. + +When the spring evenings are too long and light to shut out, and +such weather is rife, the city which Mr Podsnap so explanatorily +called London, Londres, London, is at its worst. Such a black +shrill city, combining the qualities of a smoky house and a +scolding wife; such a gritty city; such a hopeless city, with no rent +in the leaden canopy of its sky; such a beleaguered city, invested by +the great Marsh Forces of Essex and Kent. So the two old +schoolfellows felt it to be, as, their dinner done, they turned +towards the fire to smoke. Young Blight was gone, the coffee- +house waiter was gone, the plates and dishes were gone, the wine +was going--but not in the same direction. + +'The wind sounds up here,' quoth Eugene, stirring the fire, 'as if we +were keeping a lighthouse. I wish we were.' + +'Don't you think it would bore us?' Lightwood asked. + +'Not more than any other place. And there would be no Circuit to +go. But that's a selfish consideration, personal to me.' + +'And no clients to come,' added Lightwood. 'Not that that's a +selfish consideration at all personal to ME.' + +'If we were on an isolated rock in a stormy sea,' said Eugene, +smoking with his eyes on the fire, 'Lady Tippins couldn't put off to +visit us, or, better still, might put off and get swamped. People +couldn't ask one to wedding breakfasts. There would be no +Precedents to hammer at, except the plain-sailing Precedent of +keeping the light up. It would be exciting to look out for wrecks.' + +'But otherwise,' suggested Lightwood, 'there might be a degree of +sameness in the life.' + +'I have thought of that also,' said Eugene, as if he really had been +considering the subject in its various bearings with an eye to the +business; 'but it would be a defined and limited monotony. It +would not extend beyond two people. Now, it's a question with +me, Mortimer, whether a monotony defined with that precision and +limited to that extent, might not be more endurable than the +unlimited monotony of one's fellow-creatures.' + +As Lightwood laughed and passed the wine, he remarked, 'We +shall have an opportunity, in our boating summer, of trying the +question.' + +'An imperfect one,' Eugene acquiesced, with a sigh, 'but so we +shall. I hope we may not prove too much for one another.' + +'Now, regarding your respected father,' said Lightwood, bringing +him to a subject they had expressly appointed to discuss: always +the most slippery eel of eels of subjects to lay hold of. + +'Yes, regarding my respected father,' assented Eugene, settling +himself in his arm-chair. 'I would rather have approached my +respected father by candlelight, as a theme requiring a little +artificial brilliancy; but we will take him by twilight, enlivened +with a glow of Wallsend.' + +He stirred the fire again as he spoke, and having made it blaze, +resumed. + +'My respected father has found, down in the parental +neighbourhood, a wife for his not-generally-respected son.' + +'With some money, of course?' + +'With some money, of course, or he would not have found her. My +respected father--let me shorten the dutiful tautology by +substituting in future M. R. F., which sounds military, and rather +like the Duke of Wellington.' + +'What an absurd fellow you are, Eugene!' + +'Not at all, I assure you. M. R. F. having always in the clearest +manner provided (as he calls it) for his children by pre-arranging +from the hour of the birth of each, and sometimes from an earlier +period, what the devoted little victim's calling and course in life +should be, M. R. F. pre-arranged for myself that I was to be the +barrister I am (with the slight addition of an enormous practice, +which has not accrued), and also the married man I am not.' + +'The first you have often told me.' + +'The first I have often told you. Considering myself sufficiently +incongruous on my legal eminence, I have until now suppressed +my domestic destiny. You know M. R. F., but not as well as I do. +If you knew him as well as I do, he would amuse you.' + +'Filially spoken, Eugene!' + +'Perfectly so, believe me; and with every sentiment of affectionate +deference towards M. R. F. But if he amuses me, I can't help it. +When my eldest brother was born, of course the rest of us knew (I +mean the rest of us would have known, if we had been in +existence) that he was heir to the Family Embarrassments--we call +it before the company the Family Estate. But when my second +brother was going to be born by-and-by, "this," says M. R. F., "is a +little pillar of the church." WAS born, and became a pillar of the +church; a very shaky one. My third brother appeared, considerably +in advance of his engagement to my mother; but M. R. F., not at all +put out by surprise, instantly declared him a Circumnavigator. +Was pitch-forked into the Navy, but has not circumnavigated. I +announced myself and was disposed of with the highly satisfactory +results embodied before you. When my younger brother was half +an hour old, it was settled by M. R. F. that he should have a +mechanical genius. And so on. Therefore I say that M. R. F. +amuses me.' + +'Touching the lady, Eugene.' + +'There M. R. F. ceases to be amusing, because my intentions are +opposed to touching the lady.' + +'Do you know her?' + +'Not in the least.' + +'Hadn't you better see her?' + +'My dear Mortimer, you have studied my character. Could I +possibly go down there, labelled "ELIGIBLE. ON VIEW," and +meet the lady, similarly labelled? Anything to carry out M. R. F.'s +arrangements, I am sure, with the greatest pleasure--except +matrimony. Could I possibly support it? I, so soon bored, so +constantly, so fatally?' + +'But you are not a consistent fellow, Eugene.' + +'In susceptibility to boredom,' returned that worthy, 'I assure you I +am the most consistent of mankind.' + +'Why, it was but now that you were dwelling in the advantages of a +monotony of two.' + +'In a lighthouse. Do me the justice to remember the condition. In +a lighthouse.' + +Mortimer laughed again, and Eugene, having laughed too for the +first time, as if he found himself on reflection rather entertaining, +relapsed into his usual gloom, and drowsily said, as he enjoyed his +cigar, 'No, there is no help for it; one of the prophetic deliveries of +M. R. F. must for ever remain unfulfilled. With every disposition +to oblige him, he must submit to a failure.' + +It had grown darker as they talked, and the wind was sawing and +the sawdust was whirling outside paler windows. The underlying +churchyard was already settling into deep dim shade, and the +shade was creeping up to the housetops among which they sat. 'As +if,' said Eugene, 'as if the churchyard ghosts were rising.' + +He had walked to the window with his cigar in his mouth, to exalt +its flavour by comparing the fireside with the outside, when he +stopped midway on his return to his arm-chair, and said: + +'Apparently one of the ghosts has lost its way, and dropped in to be +directed. Look at this phantom!' + +Lightwood, whose back was towards the door, turned his head, +and there, in the darkness of the entry, stood a something in the +likeness of a man: to whom he addressed the not irrelevant inquiry, +'Who the devil are you?' + +'I ask your pardons, Governors,' replied the ghost, in a hoarse +double-barrelled whisper, 'but might either on you be Lawyer +Lightwood?' + +'What do you mean by not knocking at the door?' demanded +Mortimer. + +'I ask your pardons, Governors,' replied the ghost, as before, 'but +probable you was not aware your door stood open.' + +'What do you want?' + +Hereunto the ghost again hoarsely replied, in its double-barrelled +manner, 'I ask your pardons, Governors, but might one on you be +Lawyer Lightwood?' + +'One of us is,' said the owner of that name. + +'All right, Governors Both,' returned the ghost, carefully closing the +room door; ''tickler business.' + +Mortimer lighted the candles. They showed the visitor to be an ill- +looking visitor with a squinting leer, who, as he spoke, fumbled at +an old sodden fur cap, formless and mangey, that looked like a +furry animal, dog or cat, puppy or kitten, drowned and decaying. + +'Now,' said Mortimer, 'what is it?' + +'Governors Both,' returned the man, in what he meant to be a +wheedling tone, 'which on you might be Lawyer Lightwood?' + +'I am.' + +'Lawyer Lightwood,' ducking at him with a servile air, 'I am a man +as gets my living, and as seeks to get my living, by the sweat of my +brow. Not to risk being done out of the sweat of my brow, by any +chances, I should wish afore going further to be swore in.' + +'I am not a swearer in of people, man.' + +The visitor, clearly anything but reliant on this assurance, doggedly +muttered 'Alfred David.' + +'Is that your name?' asked Lightwood. + +'My name?' returned the man. 'No; I want to take a Alfred David.' + +(Which Eugene, smoking and contemplating him, interpreted as +meaning Affidavit.) + +'I tell you, my good fellow,' said Lightwood, with his indolent +laugh, 'that I have nothing to do with swearing.' + +'He can swear AT you,' Eugene explained; 'and so can I. But we +can't do more for you.' + +Much discomfited by this information, the visitor turned the +drowned dog or cat, puppy or kitten, about and about, and looked +from one of the Governors Both to the other of the Governors Both, +while he deeply considered within himself. At length he decided: + +'Then I must be took down.' + +'Where?' asked Lightwood. + +'Here,' said the man. 'In pen and ink.' + +'First, let us know what your business is about.' + +'It's about,' said the man, taking a step forward, dropping his +hoarse voice, and shading it with his hand, 'it's about from five to +ten thousand pound reward. That's what it's about. It's about +Murder. That's what it's about.' + +'Come nearer the table. Sit down. Will you have a glass of wine?' + +'Yes, I will,' said the man; 'and I don't deceive you, Governors.' + +It was given him. Making a stiff arm to the elbow, he poured the +wine into his mouth, tilted it into his right cheek, as saying, 'What +do you think of it?' tilted it into his left cheek, as saying, 'What do +YOU think of it?' jerked it into his stomach, as saying, 'What do +YOU think of it?' To conclude, smacked his lips, as if all three +replied, 'We think well of it.' + +'Will you have another?' + +'Yes, I will,' he repeated, 'and I don't deceive you, Governors.' And +also repeated the other proceedings. + +'Now,' began Lightwood, 'what's your name?' + +'Why, there you're rather fast, Lawyer Lightwood,' he replied, in a +remonstrant manner. 'Don't you see, Lawyer Lightwood? There +you're a little bit fast. I'm going to earn from five to ten thousand +pound by the sweat of my brow; and as a poor man doing justice to +the sweat of my brow, is it likely I can afford to part with so much +as my name without its being took down?' + +Deferring to the man's sense of the binding powers of pen and ink +and paper, Lightwood nodded acceptance of Eugene's nodded +proposal to take those spells in hand. Eugene, bringing them to the +table, sat down as clerk or notary. + +'Now,' said Lightwood, 'what's your name?' + +But further precaution was still due to the sweat of this honest +fellow's brow. + +'I should wish, Lawyer Lightwood,' he stipulated, 'to have that +T'other Governor as my witness that what I said I said. +Consequent, will the T'other Governor be so good as chuck me his +name and where he lives?' + +Eugene, cigar in mouth and pen in hand, tossed him his card. +After spelling it out slowly, the man made it into a little roll, and +tied it up in an end of his neckerchief still more slowly. + +'Now,' said Lightwood, for the third time, 'if you have quite +completed your various preparations, my friend, and have fully +ascertained that your spirits are cool and not in any way hurried, +what's your name?' + +'Roger Riderhood.' + +'Dwelling-place?' + +'Lime'us Hole.' + +'Calling or occupation?' + +Not quite so glib with this answer as with the previous two, Mr +Riderhood gave in the definition, 'Waterside character.' + +'Anything against you?' Eugene quietly put in, as he wrote. + +Rather baulked, Mr Riderhood evasively remarked, with an +innocent air, that he believed the T'other Governor had asked him +summa't. + +'Ever in trouble?' said Eugene. + +'Once.' (Might happen to any man, Mr Riderhood added +incidentally.) + +'On suspicion of--' + +'Of seaman's pocket,' said Mr Riderhood. 'Whereby I was in +reality the man's best friend, and tried to take care of him.' + +'With the sweat of your brow?' asked Eugene. + +'Till it poured down like rain,' said Roger Riderhood. + +Eugene leaned back in his chair, and smoked with his eyes +negligently turned on the informer, and his pen ready to reduce him +to more writing. Lightwood also smoked, with his eyes +negligently turned on the informer. + +'Now let me be took down again,' said Riderhood, when he had +turned the drowned cap over and under, and had brushed it the +wrong way (if it had a right way) with his sleeve. 'I give +information that the man that done the Harmon Murder is Gaffer +Hexam, the man that found the body. The hand of Jesse Hexam, +commonly called Gaffer on the river and along shore, is the hand +that done that deed. His hand and no other.' + +The two friends glanced at one another with more serious faces +than they had shown yet. + +'Tell us on what grounds you make this accusation,' said Mortimer +Lightwood. + +'On the grounds,' answered Riderhood, wiping his face with his +sleeve, 'that I was Gaffer's pardner, and suspected of him many a +long day and many a dark night. On the grounds that I knowed his +ways. On the grounds that I broke the pardnership because I see +the danger; which I warn you his daughter may tell you another +story about that, for anythink I can say, but you know what it'll be +worth, for she'd tell you lies, the world round and the heavens +broad, to save her father. On the grounds that it's well understood +along the cause'ays and the stairs that he done it. On the grounds +that he's fell off from, because he done it. On the grounds that I +will swear he done it. On the grounds that you may take me where +you will, and get me sworn to it. I don't want to back out of the +consequences. I have made up MY mind. Take me anywheres.' + +'All this is nothing,' said Lightwood. + +'Nothing?' repeated Riderhood, indignantly and amazedly. + +'Merely nothing. It goes to no more than that you suspect this man +of the crime. You may do so with some reason, or you may do so +with no reason, but he cannot be convicted on your suspicion.' + +'Haven't I said--I appeal to the T'other Governor as my witness-- +haven't I said from the first minute that I opened my mouth in this +here world-without-end-everlasting chair' (he evidently used that +form of words as next in force to an affidavit), 'that I was willing to +swear that he done it? Haven't I said, Take me and get me sworn +to it? Don't I say so now? You won't deny it, Lawyer Lightwood?' + +'Surely not; but you only offer to swear to your suspicion, and I tell +you it is not enough to swear to your suspicion.' + +'Not enough, ain't it, Lawyer Lightwood?' he cautiously demanded. + +'Positively not.' + +'And did I say it WAS enough? Now, I appeal to the T'other +Governor. Now, fair! Did I say so?' + +'He certainly has not said that he had no more to tell,' Eugene +observed in a low voice without looking at him, 'whatever he +seemed to imply.' + +'Hah!' cried the informer, triumphantly perceiving that the remark +was generally in his favour, though apparently not closely +understanding it. 'Fort'nate for me I had a witness!' + +'Go on, then,' said Lightwood. 'Say out what you have to say. No +after-thought.' + +'Let me be took down then!' cried the informer, eagerly and +anxiously. 'Let me be took down, for by George and the Draggin +I'm a coming to it now! Don't do nothing to keep back from a +honest man the fruits of the sweat of his brow! I give information, +then, that he told me that he done it. Is THAT enough?' + +'Take care what you say, my friend,' returned Mortimer. + +'Lawyer Lightwood, take care, you, what I say; for I judge you'll be +answerable for follering it up!' Then, slowly and emphatically +beating it all out with his open right hand on the palm of his left; +'I, Roger Riderhood, Lime'us Hole, Waterside character, tell you, +Lawyer Lightwood, that the man Jesse Hexam, commonly called +upon the river and along-shore Gaffer, told me that he done the +deed. What's more, he told me with his own lips that he done the +deed. What's more, he said that he done the deed. And I'll swear it!' + +'Where did he tell you so?' + +'Outside,' replied Riderhood, always beating it out, with his head +determinedly set askew, and his eyes watchfully dividing their +attention between his two auditors, 'outside the door of the Six +Jolly Fellowships, towards a quarter after twelve o'clock at +midnight--but I will not in my conscience undertake to swear to so +fine a matter as five minutes--on the night when he picked up the +body. The Six Jolly Fellowships won't run away. If it turns out +that he warn't at the Six Jolly Fellowships that night at midnight, +I'm a liar.' + +'What did he say?' + +'I'll tell you (take me down, T'other Governor, I ask no better). He +come out first; I come out last. I might be a minute arter him; I +might be half a minute, I might be a quarter of a minute; I cannot +swear to that, and therefore I won't. That's knowing the +obligations of a Alfred David, ain't it?' + +'Go on.' + +'I found him a waiting to speak to me. He says to me, "Rogue +Riderhood"--for that's the name I'm mostly called by--not for any +meaning in it, for meaning it has none, but because of its being +similar to Roger.' + +'Never mind that.' + +''Scuse ME, Lawyer Lightwood, it's a part of the truth, and as such +I do mind it, and I must mind it and I will mind it. "Rogue +Riderhood," he says, "words passed betwixt us on the river +tonight." Which they had; ask his daughter! "I threatened you," +he says, "to chop you over the fingers with my boat's stretcher, or +take a aim at your brains with my boathook. I did so on accounts +of your looking too hard at what I had in tow, as if you was +suspicious, and on accounts of your holding on to the gunwale of +my boat." I says to him, "Gaffer, I know it." He says to me, +"Rogue Riderhood, you are a man in a dozen"--I think he said in a +score, but of that I am not positive, so take the lowest figure, for +precious be the obligations of a Alfred David. "And," he says, +"when your fellow-men is up, be it their lives or be it their watches, +sharp is ever the word with you. Had you suspicions?" I says, +"Gaffer, I had; and what's more, I have." He falls a shaking, and +he says, "Of what?" I says, "Of foul play." He falls a shaking +worse, and he says, "There WAS foul play then. I done it for his +money. Don't betray me!" Those were the words as ever he used.' + +There was a silence, broken only by the fall of the ashes in the +grate. An opportunity which the informer improved by smearing +himself all over the head and neck and face with his drowned cap, +and not at all improving his own appearance. + +'What more?' asked Lightwood. + +'Of him, d'ye mean, Lawyer Lightwood?' + +'Of anything to the purpose.' + +'Now, I'm blest if I understand you, Governors Both,' said the +informer, in a creeping manner: propitiating both, though only one +had spoken. 'What? Ain't THAT enough?' + +'Did you ask him how he did it, where he did it, when he did it?' + +'Far be it from me, Lawyer Lightwood! I was so troubled in my +mind, that I wouldn't have knowed more, no, not for the sum as I +expect to earn from you by the sweat of my brow, twice told! I had +put an end to the pardnership. I had cut the connexion. I couldn't +undo what was done; and when he begs and prays, "Old pardner, +on my knees, don't split upon me!" I only makes answer "Never +speak another word to Roger Riderhood, nor look him in the face!" +and I shuns that man.' + +Having given these words a swing to make them mount the higher +and go the further, Rogue Riderhood poured himself out another +glass of wine unbidden, and seemed to chew it, as, with the half- +emptied glass in his hand, he stared at the candles. + +Mortimer glanced at Eugene, but Eugene sat glowering at his +paper, and would give him no responsive glance. Mortimer again +turned to the informer, to whom he said: + +'You have been troubled in your mind a long time, man?' + +Giving his wine a final chew, and swallowing it, the informer +answered in a single word: + +'Hages!' + +'When all that stir was made, when the Government reward was +offered, when the police were on the alert, when the whole country +rang with the crime!' said Mortimer, impatiently. + +'Hah!' Mr Riderhood very slowly and hoarsely chimed in, with +several retrospective nods of his head. 'Warn't I troubled in my +mind then!' + +'When conjecture ran wild, when the most extravagant suspicions +were afloat, when half a dozen innocent people might have been +laid by the heels any hour in the day!' said Mortimer, almost +warming. + +'Hah!' Mr Riderhood chimed in, as before. 'Warn't I troubled in my +mind through it all!' + +'But he hadn't,' said Eugene, drawing a lady's head upon his +writing-paper, and touching it at intervals, 'the opportunity then of +earning so much money, you see.' + +'The T'other Governor hits the nail, Lawyer Lightwood! It was +that as turned me. I had many times and again struggled to relieve +myself of the trouble on my mind, but I couldn't get it off. I had +once very nigh got it off to Miss Abbey Potterson which keeps the +Six Jolly Fellowships--there is the 'ouse, it won't run away,--there +lives the lady, she ain't likely to be struck dead afore you get there-- +ask her!--but I couldn't do it. At last, out comes the new bill with +your own lawful name, Lawyer Lightwood, printed to it, and then I +asks the question of my own intellects, Am I to have this trouble +on my mind for ever? Am I never to throw it off? Am I always to +think more of Gaffer than of my own self? If he's got a daughter, +ain't I got a daughter?' + +'And echo answered--?' Eugene suggested. + +'"You have,"' said Mr Riderhood, in a firm tone. + +'Incidentally mentioning, at the same time, her age?' inquired +Eugene. + +'Yes, governor. Two-and-twenty last October. And then I put it to +myself, "Regarding the money. It is a pot of money." For it IS a +pot,' said Mr Riderhood, with candour, 'and why deny it?' + +'Hear!' from Eugene as he touched his drawing. + +'"It is a pot of money; but is it a sin for a labouring man that +moistens every crust of bread he earns, with his tears--or if not +with them, with the colds he catches in his head--is it a sin for that +man to earn it? Say there is anything again earning it." This I put +to myself strong, as in duty bound; "how can it be said without +blaming Lawyer Lightwood for offering it to be earned?" And was +it for ME to blame Lawyer Lightwood? No.' + +'No,' said Eugene. + +'Certainly not, Governor,' Mr Riderhood acquiesced. 'So I made up +my mind to get my trouble off my mind, and to earn by the sweat +of my brow what was held out to me. And what's more, he added, +suddenly turning bloodthirsty, 'I mean to have it! And now I tell +you, once and away, Lawyer Lightwood, that Jesse Hexam, +commonly called Gaffer, his hand and no other, done the deed, on +his own confession to me. And I give him up to you, and I want +him took. This night!' + +After another silence, broken only by the fall of the ashes in the +grate, which attracted the informer's attention as if it were the +chinking of money, Mortimer Lightwood leaned over his friend, +and said in a whisper: + +'I suppose I must go with this fellow to our imperturbable friend at +the police-station.' + +'I suppose,' said Eugene, 'there is no help for it.' + +'Do you believe him?' + +'I believe him to be a thorough rascal. But he may tell the truth, for +his own purpose, and for this occasion only.' + +'It doesn't look like it.' + +'HE doesn't,' said Eugene. 'But neither is his late partner, whom he +denounces, a prepossessing person. The firm are cut-throat +Shepherds both, in appearance. I should like to ask him one thing.' + +The subject of this conference sat leering at the ashes, trying with +all his might to overhear what was said, but feigning abstraction as +the 'Governors Both' glanced at him. + +'You mentioned (twice, I think) a daughter of this Hexam's,' said +Eugene, aloud. 'You don't mean to imply that she had any guilty +knowledge of the crime?' + +The honest man, after considering--perhaps considering how his +answer might affect the fruits of the sweat of his brow--replied, +unreservedly, 'No, I don't.' + +'And you implicate no other person?' + +'It ain't what I implicate, it's what Gaffer implicated,' was the +dogged and determined answer. 'I don't pretend to know more +than that his words to me was, "I done it." Those was his words.' + +'I must see this out, Mortimer,' whispered Eugene, rising. 'How +shall we go?' + +'Let us walk,' whispered Lightwood, 'and give this fellow time to +think of it.' + +Having exchanged the question and answer, they prepared +themselves for going out, and Mr Riderhood rose. While +extinguishing the candles, Lightwood, quite as a matter of course +took up the glass from which that honest gentleman had drunk, +and coolly tossed it under the grate, where it fell shivering into +fragments. + +'Now, if you will take the lead,' said Lightwood, 'Mr Wrayburn and +I will follow. You know where to go, I suppose?' + +'I suppose I do, Lawyer Lightwood.' + +'Take the lead, then.' + +The waterside character pulled his drowned cap over his ears with +both hands, and making himself more round-shouldered than +nature had made him, by the sullen and persistent slouch with +which he went, went down the stairs, round by the Temple +Church, across the Temple into Whitefriars, and so on by the +waterside streets. + +'Look at his hang-dog air,' said Lightwood, following. + +'It strikes me rather as a hang-MAN air,' returned Eugene. 'He has +undeniable intentions that way.' + +They said little else as they followed. He went on before them as +an ugly Fate might have done, and they kept him in view, and +would have been glad enough to lose sight of him. But on he went +before them, always at the same distance, and the same rate. +Aslant against the hard implacable weather and the rough wind, he +was no more to be driven back than hurried forward, but held on +like an advancing Destiny. There came, when they were about +midway on their journey, a heavy rush of hail, which in a few +minutes pelted the streets clear, and whitened them. It made no +difference to him. A man's life being to be taken and the price of it +got, the hailstones to arrest the purpose must lie larger and deeper +than those. He crashed through them, leaving marks in the fast- +melting slush that were mere shapeless holes; one might have +fancied, following, that the very fashion of humanity had departed +from his feet. + +The blast went by, and the moon contended with the fast-flying +clouds, and the wild disorder reigning up there made the pitiful +little tumults in the streets of no account. It was not that the wind +swept all the brawlers into places of shelter, as it had swept the +hail still lingering in heaps wherever there was refuge for it; but +that it seemed as if the streets were absorbed by the sky, and the +night were all in the air. + +'If he has had time to think of it,' said Eugene, he has not had time +to think better of it--or differently of it, if that's better. There is no +sign of drawing back in him; and as I recollect this place, we must +be close upon the corner where we alighted that night.' + +In fact, a few abrupt turns brought them to the river side, where +they had slipped about among the stones, and where they now +slipped more; the wind coming against them in slants and flaws, +across the tide and the windings of the river, in a furious way. +With that habit of getting under the lee of any shelter which +waterside characters acquire, the waterside character at present in +question led the way to the leeside of the Six Jolly Fellowship +Porters before he spoke. + +'Look round here, Lawyer Lightwood, at them red curtains. It's +the Fellowships, the 'ouse as I told you wouldn't run away. And +has it run away?' + +Not showing himself much impressed by this remarkable +confirmation of the informer's evidence, Lightwood inquired what +other business they had there? + +'I wished you to see the Fellowships for yourself, Lawyer +Lightwood, that you might judge whether I'm a liar; and now I'll +see Gaffer's window for myself, that we may know whether he's at +home.' + +With that, he crept away. + +'He'll come back, I suppose?' murmured Lightwood. + +'Ay! and go through with it,' murmured Eugene. + +He came back after a very short interval indeed. + +'Gaffer's out, and his boat's out. His daughter's at home, sitting a- +looking at the fire. But there's some supper getting ready, so +Gaffer's expected. I can find what move he's upon, easy enough, +presently.' + +Then he beckoned and led the way again, and they came to the +police-station, still as clean and cool and steady as before, saving +that the flame of its lamp--being but a lamp-flame, and only +attached to the Force as an outsider--flickered in the wind. + +Also, within doors, Mr Inspector was at his studies as of yore. He +recognized the friends the instant they reappeared, but their +reappearance had no effect on his composure. Not even the +circumstance that Riderhood was their conductor moved him, +otherwise than that as he took a dip of ink he seemed, by a +settlement of his chin in his stock, to propound to that personage, +without looking at him, the question, 'What have YOU been up to, +last?' + +Mortimer Lightwood asked him, would he be so good as look at +those notes? Handing him Eugene's. + +Having read the first few lines, Mr Inspector mounted to that (for +him) extraordinary pitch of emotion that he said, 'Does either of +you two gentlemen happen to have a pinch of snuff about him?' +Finding that neither had, he did quite as well without it, and read +on. + +'Have you heard these read?' he then demanded of the honest man. + +'No,' said Riderhood. + +'Then you had better hear them.' And so read them aloud, in an +official manner. + +'Are these notes correct, now, as to the information you bring here +and the evidence you mean to give?' he asked, when he had +finished reading. + +'They are. They are as correct,' returned Mr Riderhood, 'as I am. I +can't say more than that for 'em.' + +'I'll take this man myself, sir,' said Mr Inspector to Lightwood. +Then to Riderhood, 'Is he at home? Where is he? What's he +doing? You have made it your business to know all about him, no +doubt.' + +Riderhood said what he did know, and promised to find out in a +few minutes what he didn't know. + +'Stop,' said Mr Inspector; 'not till I tell you: We mustn't look like +business. Would you two gentlemen object to making a pretence +of taking a glass of something in my company at the Fellowships? +Well-conducted house, and highly respectable landlady.' + +They replied that they would be happy to substitute a reality for +the pretence, which, in the main, appeared to be as one with Mr +Inspector's meaning. + +'Very good,' said he, taking his hat from its peg, and putting a pair +of handcuffs in his pocket as if they were his gloves. 'Reserve!' +Reserve saluted. 'You know where to find me?' Reserve again +saluted. 'Riderhood, when you have found out concerning his +coming home, come round to the window of Cosy, tap twice at it, +and wait for me. Now, gentlemen.' + +As the three went out together, and Riderhood slouched off from +under the trembling lamp his separate way, Lightwood asked the +officer what he thought of this? + +Mr Inspector replied, with due generality and reticence, that it was +always more likely that a man had done a bad thing than that he +hadn't. That he himself had several times 'reckoned up' Gaffer, but +had never been able to bring him to a satisfactory criminal total. +That if this story was true, it was only in part true. That the two +men, very shy characters, would have been jointly and pretty +equally 'in it;' but that this man had 'spotted' the other, to save +himself and get the money. + +'And I think,' added Mr Inspector, in conclusion, 'that if all goes +well with him, he's in a tolerable way of getting it. But as this is +the Fellowships, gentlemen, where the lights are, I recommend +dropping the subject. You can't do better than be interested in +some lime works anywhere down about Northfleet, and doubtful +whether some of your lime don't get into bad company as it comes +up in barges.' + +'You hear Eugene?' said Lightwood, over his shoulder. 'You are +deeply interested in lime.' + +'Without lime,' returned that unmoved barrister-at-law, 'my +existence would be unilluminated by a ray of hope.' + + + +Chapter 13 + +TRACKING THE BIRD OF PREY + + +The two lime merchants, with their escort, entered the dominions +of Miss Abbey Potterson, to whom their escort (presenting them +and their pretended business over the half-door of the bar, in a +confidential way) preferred his figurative request that 'a mouthful +of fire' might be lighted in Cosy. Always well disposed to assist +the constituted authorities, Miss Abbey bade Bob Gliddery attend +the gentlemen to that retreat, and promptly enliven it with fire and +gaslight. Of this commission the bare-armed Bob, leading the way +with a flaming wisp of paper, so speedily acquitted himself, that +Cosy seemed to leap out of a dark sleep and embrace them warmly, +the moment they passed the lintels of its hospitable door. + +'They burn sherry very well here,' said Mr Inspector, as a piece of +local intelligence. 'Perhaps you gentlemen might like a bottle?' + +The answer being By all means, Bob Gliddery received his +instructions from Mr Inspector, and departed in a becoming state +of alacrity engendered by reverence for the majesty of the law. + +'It's a certain fact,' said Mr Inspector, 'that this man we have +received our information from,' indicating Riderhood with his +thumb over his shoulder, 'has for some time past given the other +man a bad name arising out of your lime barges, and that the other +man has been avoided in consequence. I don't say what it means +or proves, but it's a certain fact. I had it first from one of the +opposite sex of my acquaintance,' vaguely indicating Miss Abbey +with his thumb over his shoulder, 'down away at a distance, over +yonder.' + +Then probably Mr Inspector was not quite unprepared for their +visit that evening? Lightwood hinted. + +'Well you see,' said Mr Inspector, 'it was a question of making a +move. It's of no use moving if you don't know what your move is. +You had better by far keep still. In the matter of this lime, I +certainly had an idea that it might lie betwixt the two men; I +always had that idea. Still I was forced to wait for a start, and I +wasn't so lucky as to get a start. This man that we have received +our information from, has got a start, and if he don't meet with a +check he may make the running and come in first. There may turn +out to be something considerable for him that comes in second, and +I don't mention who may or who may not try for that place. There's +duty to do, and I shall do it, under any circumstances; to the best of +my judgment and ability.' + +'Speaking as a shipper of lime--' began Eugene. + +'Which no man has a better right to do than yourself, you know,' +said Mr Inspector. + +'I hope not,' said Eugene; 'my father having been a shipper of lime +before me, and my grandfather before him--in fact we having been +a family immersed to the crowns of our heads in lime during +several generations--I beg to observe that if this missing lime +could be got hold of without any young female relative of any +distinguished gentleman engaged in the lime trade (which I cherish +next to my life) being present, I think it might be a more agreeable +proceeding to the assisting bystanders, that is to say, lime-burners.' + +'I also,' said Lightwood, pushing his friend aside with a laugh, +'should much prefer that.' + +'It shall be done, gentlemen, if it can be done conveniently,' said +Mr Inspector, with coolness. 'There is no wish on my part to cause +any distress in that quarter. Indeed, I am sorry for that quarter.' + +'There was a boy in that quarter,' remarked Eugene. 'He is still +there?' + +'No,' said Mr Inspector.' He has quitted those works. He is +otherwise disposed of.' + +'Will she be left alone then?' asked Eugene. + +'She will be left,' said Mr Inspector, 'alone.' + +Bob's reappearance with a steaming jug broke off the conversation. +But although the jug steamed forth a delicious perfume, its +contents had not received that last happy touch which the +surpassing finish of the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters imparted on +such momentous occasions. Bob carried in his left hand one of +those iron models of sugar-loaf hats, before mentioned, into which +he emptied the jug, and the pointed end of which he thrust deep +down into the fire, so leaving it for a few moments while he +disappeared and reappeared with three bright drinking-glasses. +Placing these on the table and bending over the fire, meritoriously +sensible of the trying nature of his duty, he watched the wreaths of +steam, until at the special instant of projection he caught up the +iron vessel and gave it one delicate twirl, causing it to send forth +one gentle hiss. Then he restored the contents to the jug; held over +the steam of the jug, each of the three bright glasses in succession; +finally filled them all, and with a clear conscience awaited the +applause of his fellow-creatures. + +It was bestowed (Mr Inspector having proposed as an appropriate +sentiment 'The lime trade!') and Bob withdrew to report the +commendations of the guests to Miss Abbey in the bar. It may be +here in confidence admitted that, the room being close shut in his +absence, there had not appeared to be the slightest reason for the +elaborate maintenance of this same lime fiction. Only it had been +regarded by Mr Inspector as so uncommonly satisfactory, and so +fraught with mysterious virtues, that neither of his clients had +presumed to question it. + +Two taps were now heard on the outside of the window. Mr +Inspector, hastily fortifying himself with another glass, strolled out +with a noiseless foot and an unoccupied countenance. As one +might go to survey the weather and the general aspect of the +heavenly bodies. + +'This is becoming grim, Mortimer,' said Eugene, in a low voice. 'I +don't like this.' + +'Nor I' said Lightwood. 'Shall we go?' + +'Being here, let us stay. You ought to see it out, and I won't leave +you. Besides, that lonely girl with the dark hair runs in my head. +It was little more than a glimpse we had of her that last time, and +yet I almost see her waiting by the fire to-night. Do you feel like a +dark combination of traitor and pickpocket when you think of that +girl?' + +'Rather,' returned Lightwood. 'Do you?' + +'Very much so.' + +Their escort strolled back again, and reported. Divested of its +various lime-lights and shadows, his report went to the effect that +Gaffer was away in his boat, supposed to be on his old look-out; +that he had been expected last high-water; that having missed it for +some reason or other, he was not, according to his usual habits at +night, to be counted on before next high-water, or it might be an +hour or so later; that his daughter, surveyed through the window, +would seem to be so expecting him, for the supper was not +cooking, but set out ready to be cooked; that it would be high- +water at about one, and that it was now barely ten; that there was +nothing to be done but watch and wait; that the informer was +keeping watch at the instant of that present reporting, but that two +heads were better than one (especially when the second was Mr +Inspector's); and that the reporter meant to share the watch. And +forasmuch as crouching under the lee of a hauled-up boat on a +night when it blew cold and strong, and when the weather was +varied with blasts of hail at times, might be wearisome to +amateurs, the reporter closed with the recommendation that the +two gentlemen should remain, for a while at any rate, in their +present quarters, which were weather-tight and warm. + +They were not inclined to dispute this recommendation, but they +wanted to know where they could join the watchers when so +disposed. Rather than trust to a verbal description of the place, +which might mislead, Eugene (with a less weighty sense of +personal trouble on him than he usually had) would go out with Mr +Inspector, note the spot, and come back. + +On the shelving bank of the river, among the slimy stones of a +causeway--not the special causeway of the Six Jolly Fellowships, +which had a landing-place of its own, but another, a little removed, +and very near to the old windmill which was the denounced man's +dwelling-place--were a few boats; some, moored and already +beginning to float; others, hauled up above the reach of the tide. +Under one of these latter, Eugene's companion disappeared. And +when Eugene had observed its position with reference to the other +boats, and had made sure that he could not miss it, he turned his +eyes upon the building where, as he had been told, the lonely girl +with the dark hair sat by the fire. + +He could see the light of the fire shining through the window. +Perhaps it drew him on to look in. Perhaps he had come out with +the express intention. That part of the bank having rank grass +growing on it, there was no difficulty in getting close, without any +noise of footsteps: it was but to scramble up a ragged face of pretty +hard mud some three or four feet high and come upon the grass +and to the window. He came to the window by that means. + +She had no other light than the light of the fire. The unkindled +lamp stood on the table. She sat on the ground, looking at the +brazier, with her face leaning on her hand. There was a kind of +film or flicker on her face, which at first he took to be the fitful +firelight; but, on a second look, he saw that she was weeping. A +sad and solitary spectacle, as shown him by the rising and the +falling of the fire. + +It was a little window of but four pieces of glass, and was not +curtained; he chose it because the larger window near it was. It +showed him the room, and the bills upon the wall respecting the +drowned people starting out and receding by turns. But he glanced +slightly at them, though he looked long and steadily at her. A deep +rich piece of colour, with the brown flush of her cheek and the +shining lustre of her hair, though sad and solitary, weeping by the +rising and the falling of the fire. + +She started up. He had been so very still that he felt sure it was not +he who had disturbed her, so merely withdrew from the window +and stood near it in the shadow of the wall. She opened the door, +and said in an alarmed tone, 'Father, was that you calling me?' +And again, 'Father!' And once again, after listening, 'Father! I +thought I heard you call me twice before!' + +No response. As she re-entered at the door, he dropped over the +bank and made his way back, among the ooze and near the hiding- +place, to Mortimer Lightwood: to whom he told what he had seen +of the girl, and how this was becoming very grim indeed. + +'If the real man feels as guilty as I do,' said Eugene, 'he is +remarkably uncomfortable.' + +'Influence of secrecy,' suggested Lightwood. + +'I am not at all obliged to it for making me Guy Fawkes in the +vault and a Sneak in the area both at once,' said Eugene. 'Give me +some more of that stuff.' + +Lightwood helped him to some more of that stuff, but it had been +cooling, and didn't answer now. + +'Pooh,' said Eugene, spitting it out among the ashes. 'Tastes like +the wash of the river.' + +'Are you so familiar with the flavour of the wash of the river?' + +'I seem to be to-night. I feel as if I had been half drowned, and +swallowing a gallon of it.' + +'Influence of locality,' suggested Lightwood. + +'You are mighty learned to-night, you and your influences,' +returned Eugene. 'How long shall we stay here?' + +'How long do you think?' + +'If I could choose, I should say a minute,' replied Eugene, 'for the +Jolly Fellowship Porters are not the jolliest dogs I have known. +But I suppose we are best here until they turn us out with the other +suspicious characters, at midnight.' + +Thereupon he stirred the fire, and sat down on one side of it. It +struck eleven, and he made believe to compose himself patiently. +But gradually he took the fidgets in one leg, and then in the other +leg, and then in one arm, and then in the other arm, and then in his +chin, and then in his back, and then in his forehead, and then in his +hair, and then in his nose; and then he stretched himself recumbent +on two chairs, and groaned; and then he started up. + +'Invisible insects of diabolical activity swarm in this place. I am +tickled and twitched all over. Mentally, I have now committed a +burglary under the meanest circumstances, and the myrmidons of +justice are at my heels.' + +'I am quite as bad,' said Lightwood, sitting up facing him, with a +tumbled head; after going through some wonderful evolutions, in +which his head had been the lowest part of him. 'This +restlessness began with me, long ago. All the time you were out, I +felt like Gulliver with the Lilliputians firing upon him.' + +'It won't do, Mortimer. We must get into the air; we must join our +dear friend and brother, Riderhood. And let us tranquillize +ourselves by making a compact. Next time (with a view to our +peace of mind) we'll commit the crime, instead of taking the +criminal. You swear it?' + +'Certainly.' + +'Sworn! Let Tippins look to it. Her life's in danger.' + +Mortimer rang the bell to pay the score, and Bob appeared to +transact that business with him: whom Eugene, in his careless +extravagance, asked if he would like a situation in the lime-trade? + +'Thankee sir, no sir,' said Bob. 'I've a good sitiwation here, sir.' + +'If you change your mind at any time,' returned Eugene, 'come to +me at my works, and you'll always find an opening in the lime- +kiln.' + +'Thankee sir,' said Bob. + +'This is my partner,' said Eugene, 'who keeps the books and attends +to the wages. A fair day's wages for a fair day's work is ever my +partner's motto.' + +'And a very good 'un it is, gentlemen,' said Bob, receiving his fee, +and drawing a bow out of his head with his right hand, very much +as he would have drawn a pint of beer out of the beer engine. + +'Eugene,' Mortimer apostrophized him, laughing quite heartily +when they were alone again, 'how CAN you be so ridiculous?' + +'I am in a ridiculous humour,' quoth Eugene; 'I am a ridiculous +fellow. Everything is ridiculous. Come along!' + +It passed into Mortimer Lightwood's mind that a change of some +sort, best expressed perhaps as an intensification of all that was +wildest and most negligent and reckless in his friend, had come +upon him in the last half-hour or so. Thoroughly used to him as he +was, he found something new and strained in him that was for the +moment perplexing. This passed into his mind, and passed out +again; but he remembered it afterwards. + +'There's where she sits, you see,' said Eugene, when they were +standing under the bank, roared and riven at by the wind. 'There's +the light of her fire.' + +'I'll take a peep through the window,' said Mortimer. + +'No, don't!' Eugene caught him by the arm. 'Best, not make a +show of her. Come to our honest friend.' + +He led him to the post of watch, and they both dropped down and +crept under the lee of the boat; a better shelter than it had seemed +before, being directly contrasted with the blowing wind and the +bare night. + +'Mr Inspector at home?' whispered Eugene. + +'Here I am, sir.' + +'And our friend of the perspiring brow is at the far corner there? +Good. Anything happened?' + +'His daughter has been out, thinking she heard him calling, unless +it was a sign to him to keep out of the way. It might have been.' + +'It might have been Rule Britannia,' muttered Eugene, 'but it +wasn't. Mortimer!' + +'Here!' (On the other side of Mr Inspector.) + +'Two burglaries now, and a forgery!' + +With this indication of his depressed state of mind, Eugene fell +silent. + +They were all silent for a long while. As it got to be flood-tide, +and the water came nearer to them, noises on the river became +more frequent, and they listened more. To the turning of steam- +paddles, to the clinking of iron chain, to the creaking of blocks, to +the measured working of oars, to the occasional violent barking of +some passing dog on shipboard, who seemed to scent them lying +in their hiding-place. The night was not so dark but that, besides +the lights at bows and mastheads gliding to and fro, they could +discern some shadowy bulk attached; and now and then a ghostly +lighter with a large dark sail, like a warning arm, would start up +very near them, pass on, and vanish. At this time of their watch, +the water close to them would be often agitated by some impulsion +given it from a distance. Often they believed this beat and plash to +be the boat they lay in wait for, running in ashore; and again and +again they would have started up, but for the immobility with +which the informer, well used to the river, kept quiet in his place. + +The wind carried away the striking of the great multitude of city +church clocks, for those lay to leeward of them; but there were +bells to windward that told them of its being One--Two--Three. +Without that aid they would have known how the night wore, by +the falling of the tide, recorded in the appearance of an ever- +widening black wet strip of shore, and the emergence of the paved +causeway from the river, foot by foot. + +As the time so passed, this slinking business became a more and +more precarious one. It would seem as if the man had had some +intimation of what was in hand against him, or had taken fright? +His movements might have been planned to gain for him, in +getting beyond their reach, twelve hours' advantage? The honest +man who had expended the sweat of his brow became uneasy, and +began to complain with bitterness of the proneness of mankind to +cheat him--him invested with the dignity of Labour! + +Their retreat was so chosen that while they could watch the river, +they could watch the house. No one had passed in or out, since the +daughter thought she heard the father calling. No one could pass +in or out without being seen. + +'But it will be light at five,' said Mr Inspector, 'and then WE shall +be seen.' + +'Look here,' said Riderhood, 'what do you say to this? He may +have been lurking in and out, and just holding his own betwixt two +or three bridges, for hours back.' + +'What do you make of that?' said Mr Inspector. Stoical, but +contradictory. + +'He may be doing so at this present time.' + +'What do you make of that?' said Mr Inspector. + +'My boat's among them boats here at the cause'ay.' + +'And what do you make of your boat?' said Mr Inspector. + +'What if I put off in her and take a look round? I know his ways, +and the likely nooks he favours. I know where he'd be at such a +time of the tide, and where he'd be at such another time. Ain't I +been his pardner? None of you need show. None of you need stir. +I can shove her off without help; and as to me being seen, I'm +about at all times.' + +'You might have given a worse opinion,' said Mr Inspector, after +brief consideration. 'Try it.' + +'Stop a bit. Let's work it out. If I want you, I'll drop round under +the Fellowships and tip you a whistle.' + +'If I might so far presume as to offer a suggestion to my honourable +and gallant friend, whose knowledge of naval matters far be it +from me to impeach,' Eugene struck in with great deliberation, 'it +would be, that to tip a whistle is to advertise mystery and invite +speculation. My honourable and gallant friend will, I trust, excuse +me, as an independent member, for throwing out a remark which I +feel to be due to this house and the country.' + +'Was that the T'other Governor, or Lawyer Lightwood?' asked +Riderhood. For, they spoke as they crouched or lay, without seeing +one another's faces. + +'In reply to the question put by my honourable and gallant friend,' +said Eugene, who was lying on his back with his hat on his face, +as an attitude highly expressive of watchfulness, 'I can have no +hesitation in replying (it not being inconsistent with the public +service) that those accents were the accents of the T'other +Governor.' + +'You've tolerable good eyes, ain't you, Governor? You've all +tolerable good eyes, ain't you?' demanded the informer. + +All. + +'Then if I row up under the Fellowship and lay there, no need to +whistle. You'll make out that there's a speck of something or +another there, and you'll know it's me, and you'll come down that +cause'ay to me. Understood all?' + +Understood all. + +'Off she goes then!' + +In a moment, with the wind cutting keenly at him sideways, he +was staggering down to his boat; in a few moments he was clear, +and creeping up the river under their own shore. + +Eugene had raised himself on his elbow to look into the darkness +after him. 'I wish the boat of my honourable and gallant friend,' he +murmured, lying down again and speaking into his hat, 'may be +endowed with philanthropy enough to turn bottom-upward and +extinguish him!--Mortimer.' + +'My honourable friend.' + +'Three burglaries, two forgeries, and a midnight assassination.' +Yet in spite of having those weights on his conscience, Eugene +was somewhat enlivened by the late slight change in the +circumstances of affairs. So were his two companions. Its being a +change was everything. The suspense seemed to have taken a new +lease, and to have begun afresh from a recent date. There was +something additional to look for. They were all three more sharply +on the alert, and less deadened by the miserable influences of the +place and time. + +More than an hour had passed, and they were even dozing, when +one of the three--each said it was he, and he had NOT dozed-- +made out Riderhood in his boat at the spot agreed on. They sprang +up, came out from their shelter, and went down to him. When he +saw them coming, he dropped alongside the causeway; so that +they, standing on the causeway, could speak with him in whispers, +under the shadowy mass of the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters fast +asleep. + +'Blest if I can make it out!' said he, staring at them. + +'Make what out? Have you seen him?' + +'No.' + +'What HAVE you seen?' asked Lightwood. For, he was staring at +them in the strangest way. + +'I've seen his boat.' + +'Not empty?' + +'Yes, empty. And what's more,--adrift. And what's more,--with +one scull gone. And what's more,--with t'other scull jammed in the +thowels and broke short off. And what's more,--the boat's drove +tight by the tide 'atwixt two tiers of barges. And what's more,--he's +in luck again, by George if he ain't!' + + + +Chapter 14 + +THE BIRD OF PREY BROUGHT DOWN + + +Cold on the shore, in the raw cold of that leaden crisis in the four- +and-twenty hours when the vital force of all the noblest and +prettiest things that live is at its lowest, the three watchers looked +each at the blank faces of the other two, and all at the blank face of +Riderhood in his boat. + +'Gaffer's boat, Gaffer in luck again, and yet no Gaffer!' So spake +Riderhood, staring disconsolate. + +As if with one accord, they all turned their eyes towards the light +of the fire shining through the window. It was fainter and duller. +Perhaps fire, like the higher animal and vegetable life it helps to +sustain, has its greatest tendency towards death, when the night is +dying and the day is not yet born. + +'If it was me that had the law of this here job in hand,' growled +Riderhood with a threatening shake of his head, 'blest if I wouldn't +lay hold of HER, at any rate!' + +'Ay, but it is not you,' said Eugene. With something so suddenly +fierce in him that the informer returned submissively; 'Well, well, +well, t'other governor, I didn't say it was. A man may speak.' + +'And vermin may be silent,' said Eugene. 'Hold your tongue, you +water-rat!' + +Astonished by his friend's unusual heat, Lightwood stared too, and +then said: 'What can have become of this man?' + +'Can't imagine. Unless he dived overboard.' The informer wiped +his brow ruefully as he said it, sitting in his boat and always +staring disconsolate. + +'Did you make his boat fast?' + +'She's fast enough till the tide runs back. I couldn't make her faster +than she is. Come aboard of mine, and see for your own-selves.' + +There was a little backwardness in complying, for the freight +looked too much for the boat; but on Riderhood's protesting 'that he +had had half a dozen, dead and alive, in her afore now, and she +was nothing deep in the water nor down in the stern even then, to +speak of;' they carefully took their places, and trimmed the crazy +thing. While they were doing so, Riderhood still sat staring +disconsolate. + +'All right. Give way!' said Lightwood. + +'Give way, by George!' repeated Riderhood, before shoving off. 'If +he's gone and made off any how Lawyer Lightwood, it's enough to +make me give way in a different manner. But he always WAS a +cheat, con-found him! He always was a infernal cheat, was Gaffer. +Nothing straightfor'ard, nothing on the square. So mean, so +underhanded. Never going through with a thing, nor carrying it +out like a man!' + +'Hallo! Steady!' cried Eugene (he had recovered immediately on +embarking), as they bumped heavily against a pile; and then in a +lower voice reversed his late apostrophe by remarking ('I wish the +boat of my honourable and gallant friend may be endowed with +philanthropy enough not to turn bottom-upward and extinguish +us!) Steady, steady! Sit close, Mortimer. Here's the hail again. +See how it flies, like a troop of wild cats, at Mr Riderhood's eyes!' + +Indeed he had the full benefit of it, and it so mauled him, though +he bent his head low and tried to present nothing but the mangy +cap to it, that he dropped under the lee of a tier of shipping, and +they lay there until it was over. The squall had come up, like a +spiteful messenger before the morning; there followed in its wake a +ragged tear of light which ripped the dark clouds until they showed +a great grey hole of day. + +They were all shivering, and everything about them seemed to be +shivering; the river itself; craft, rigging, sails, such early smoke as +there yet was on the shore. Black with wet, and altered to the eye +by white patches of hail and sleet, the huddled buildings looked +lower than usual, as if they were cowering, and had shrunk with +the cold. Very little life was to be seen on either bank, windows +and doors were shut, and the staring black and white letters upon +wharves and warehouses 'looked,' said Eugene to Mortimer, 'like +inscriptions over the graves of dead businesses.' + +As they glided slowly on, keeping under the shore and sneaking in +and out among the shipping by back-alleys of water, in a pilfering +way that seemed to be their boatman's normal manner of +progression, all the objects among which they crept were so huge +in contrast with their wretched boat, as to threaten to crush it. Not +a ship's hull, with its rusty iron links of cable run out of hawse- +holes long discoloured with the iron's rusty tears, but seemed to be +there with a fell intention. Not a figure-head but had the menacing +look of bursting forward to run them down. Not a sluice gate, or a +painted scale upon a post or wall, showing the depth of water, but +seemed to hint, like the dreadfully facetious Wolf in bed in +Grandmamma's cottage, 'That's to drown YOU in, my dears!' Not +a lumbering black barge, with its cracked and blistered side +impending over them, but seemed to suck at the river with a thirst +for sucking them under. And everything so vaunted the spoiling +influences of water--discoloured copper, rotten wood, honey- +combed stone, green dank deposit--that the after-consequences of +being crushed, sucked under, and drawn down, looked as ugly to +the imagination as the main event. + +Some half-hour of this work, and Riderhood unshipped his sculls, +stood holding on to a barge, and hand over hand long-wise along +the barge's side gradually worked his boat under her head into a +secret little nook of scummy water. And driven into that nook, and +wedged as he had described, was Gaffer's boat; that boat with the +stain still in it, bearing some resemblance to a muffled human +form. + +'Now tell me I'm a liar!' said the honest man. + +('With a morbid expectation,' murmured Eugene to Lightwood, +'that somebody is always going to tell him the truth.') + +'This is Hexam's boat,' said Mr Inspector. 'I know her well.' + +'Look at the broken scull. Look at the t'other scull gone. NOW tell +me I am a liar!' said the honest man. + +Mr Inspector stepped into the boat. Eugene and Mortimer looked +on. + +'And see now!' added Riderhood, creeping aft, and showing a +stretched rope made fast there and towing overboard. 'Didn't I tell +you he was in luck again?' + +'Haul in,' said Mr Inspector. + +'Easy to say haul in,' answered Riderhood. 'Not so easy done. His +luck's got fouled under the keels of the barges. I tried to haul in +last time, but I couldn't. See how taut the line is!' + +'I must have it up,' said Mr Inspector. 'I am going to take this +boat ashore, and his luck along with it. Try easy now.' + +He tried easy now; but the luck resisted; wouldn't come. + +'I mean to have it, and the boat too,' said Mr Inspector, playing the +line. + +But still the luck resisted; wouldn't come. + +'Take care,' said Riderhood. 'You'll disfigure. Or pull asunder +perhaps.' + +'I am not going to do either, not even to your Grandmother,' said +Mr Inspector; 'but I mean to have it. Come!' he added, at once +persuasively and with authority to the hidden object in the water, +as he played the line again; 'it's no good this sort of game, you +know. You MUST come up. I mean to have you.' + +There was so much virtue in this distinctly and decidedly meaning +to have it, that it yielded a little, even while the line was played. + +'I told you so,' quoth Mr Inspector, pulling off his outer coat, and +leaning well over the stern with a will. 'Come!' + +It was an awful sort of fishing, but it no more disconcerted Mr +Inspector than if he had been fishing in a punt on a summer +evening by some soothing weir high up the peaceful river. After +certain minutes, and a few directions to the rest to 'ease her a little +for'ard,' and 'now ease her a trifle aft,' and the like, he said +composedly, 'All clear!' and the line and the boat came free +together. + +Accepting Lightwood's proffered hand to help him up, he then put +on his coat, and said to Riderhood, 'Hand me over those spare +sculls of yours, and I'll pull this in to the nearest stairs. Go ahead +you, and keep out in pretty open water, that I mayn't get fouled +again.' + +His directions were obeyed, and they pulled ashore directly; two in +one boat, two in the other. + +'Now,' said Mr Inspector, again to Riderhood, when they were all +on the slushy stones; 'you have had more practice in this than I +have had, and ought to be a better workman at it. Undo the tow- +rope, and we'll help you haul in.' + +Riderhood got into the boat accordingly. It appeared as if he had +scarcely had a moment's time to touch the rope or look over the +stern, when he came scrambling back, as pale as the morning, and +gasped out: + +'By the Lord, he's done me!' + +'What do you mean?' they all demanded. + +He pointed behind him at the boat, and gasped to that degree that +he dropped upon the stones to get his breath. + +'Gaffer's done me. It's Gaffer!' + +They ran to the rope, leaving him gasping there. Soon, the form of +the bird of prey, dead some hours, lay stretched upon the shore, +with a new blast storming at it and clotting the wet hair with hail- +stones. + +Father, was that you calling me? Father! I thought I heard you call +me twice before! Words never to be answered, those, upon the +earth-side of the grave. The wind sweeps jeeringly over Father, +whips him with the frayed ends of his dress and his jagged hair, +tries to turn him where he lies stark on his back, and force his face +towards the rising sun, that he may be shamed the more. A lull, +and the wind is secret and prying with him; lifts and lets falls a +rag; hides palpitating under another rag; runs nimbly through his +hair and beard. Then, in a rush, it cruelly taunts him. Father, was +that you calling me? Was it you, the voiceless and the dead? Was +it you, thus buffeted as you lie here in a heap? Was it you, thus +baptized unto Death, with these flying impurities now flung upon +your face? Why not speak, Father? Soaking into this filthy ground +as you lie here, is your own shape. Did you never see such a shape +soaked into your boat? Speak, Father. Speak to us, the winds, the +only listeners left you! + +'Now see,' said Mr Inspector, after mature deliberation: kneeling +on one knee beside the body, when they had stood looking down +on the drowned man, as he had many a time looked down on many +another man: 'the way of it was this. Of course you gentlemen +hardly failed to observe that he was towing by the neck and arms.' + +They had helped to release the rope, and of course not. + +'And you will have observed before, and you will observe now, that +this knot, which was drawn chock-tight round his neck by the +strain of his own arms, is a slip-knot': holding it up for +demonstration. + +Plain enough. + +'Likewise you will have observed how he had run the other end of +this rope to his boat.' + +It had the curves and indentations in it still, where it had been +twined and bound. + +'Now see,' said Mr Inspector, 'see how it works round upon him. +It's a wild tempestuous evening when this man that was,' stooping +to wipe some hailstones out of his hair with an end of his own +drowned jacket, '--there! Now he's more like himself; though he's +badly bruised,--when this man that was, rows out upon the river on +his usual lay. He carries with him this coil of rope. He always +carries with him this coil of rope. It's as well known to me as he +was himself. Sometimes it lay in the bottom of his boat. +Sometimes he hung it loose round his neck. He was a light-dresser +was this man;--you see?' lifting the loose neckerchief over his +breast, and taking the opportunity of wiping the dead lips with it-- +'and when it was wet, or freezing, or blew cold, he would hang +this coil of line round his neck. Last evening he does this. Worse +for him! He dodges about in his boat, does this man, till he gets +chilled. His hands,' taking up one of them, which dropped like a +leaden weight, 'get numbed. He sees some object that's in his way +of business, floating. He makes ready to secure that object. He +unwinds the end of his coil that he wants to take some turns on in +his boat, and he takes turns enough on it to secure that it shan't run +out. He makes it too secure, as it happens. He is a little longer +about this than usual, his hands being numbed. His object drifts +up, before he is quite ready for it. He catches at it, thinks he'll +make sure of the contents of the pockets anyhow, in case he should +be parted from it, bends right over the stern, and in one of these +heavy squalls, or in the cross-swell of two steamers, or in not being +quite prepared, or through all or most or some, gets a lurch, +overbalances and goes head-foremost overboard. Now see! He +can swim, can this man, and instantly he strikes out. But in such +striking-out he tangles his arms, pulls strong on the slip-knot, and +it runs home. The object he had expected to take in tow, floats by, +and his own boat tows him dead, to where we found him, all +entangled in his own line. You'll ask me how I make out about +the pockets? First, I'll tell you more; there was silver in 'em. How +do I make that out? Simple and satisfactory. Because he's got it +here.' The lecturer held up the tightly clenched right hand. + +'What is to be done with the remains?' asked Lightwood. + +'If you wouldn't object to standing by him half a minute, sir,' was +the reply, 'I'll find the nearest of our men to come and take charge +of him;--I still call it HIM, you see,' said Mr Inspector, looking +back as he went, with a philosophical smile upon the force of +habit. + +'Eugene,' said Lightwood and was about to add 'we may wait at a +little distance,' when turning his head he found that no Eugene was +there. + +He raised his voice and called 'Eugene! Holloa!' But no Eugene +replied. + +It was broad daylight now, and he looked about. But no Eugene +was in all the view. + +Mr Inspector speedily returning down the wooden stairs, with a +police constable, Lightwood asked him if he had seen his friend +leave them? Mr Inspector could not exactly say that he had seen +him go, but had noticed that he was restless. + +'Singular and entertaining combination, sir, your friend.' + +'I wish it had not been a part of his singular entertaining +combination to give me the slip under these dreary circumstances +at this time of the morning,' said Lightwood. 'Can we get anything +hot to drink?' + +We could, and we did. In a public-house kitchen with a large fire. +We got hot brandy and water, and it revived us wonderfully. Mr +Inspector having to Mr Riderhood announced his official intention +of 'keeping his eye upon him', stood him in a corner of the +fireplace, like a wet umbrella, and took no further outward and +visible notice of that honest man, except ordering a separate service +of brandy and water for him: apparently out of the public funds. + +As Mortimer Lightwood sat before the blazing fire, conscious of +drinking brandy and water then and there in his sleep, and yet at +one and the same time drinking burnt sherry at the Six Jolly +Fellowships, and lying under the boat on the river shore, and +sitting in the boat that Riderhood rowed, and listening to the +lecture recently concluded, and having to dine in the Temple with +an unknown man, who described himself as M. H. F. Eugene +Gaffer Harmon, and said he lived at Hailstorm,--as he passed +through these curious vicissitudes of fatigue and slumber, arranged +upon the scale of a dozen hours to the second, he became aware of +answering aloud a communication of pressing importance that had +never been made to him, and then turned it into a cough on +beholding Mr Inspector. For, he felt, with some natural +indignation, that that functionary might otherwise suspect him of +having closed his eyes, or wandered in his attention. + +'Here just before us, you see,' said Mr Inspector. + +'I see,' said Lightwood, with dignity. + +'And had hot brandy and water too, you see,' said Mr Inspector, +'and then cut off at a great rate.' + +'Who?' said Lightwood. + +'Your friend, you know.' + +'I know,' he replied, again with dignity. + +After hearing, in a mist through which Mr Inspector loomed vague +and large, that the officer took upon himself to prepare the dead +man's daughter for what had befallen in the night, and generally +that he took everything upon himself, Mortimer Lightwood +stumbled in his sleep to a cab-stand, called a cab, and had entered +the army and committed a capital military offence and been tried +by court martial and found guilty and had arranged his affairs and +been marched out to be shot, before the door banged. + +Hard work rowing the cab through the City to the Temple, for a +cup of from five to ten thousand pounds value, given by Mr Boffin; +and hard work holding forth at that immeasurable length to Eugene +(when he had been rescued with a rope from the running +pavement) for making off in that extraordinary manner! But he +offered such ample apologies, and was so very penitent, that when +Lightwood got out of the cab, he gave the driver a particular charge +to be careful of him. Which the driver (knowing there was no +other fare left inside) stared at prodigiously. + +In short, the night's work had so exhausted and worn out this actor +in it, that he had become a mere somnambulist. He was too tired +to rest in his sleep, until he was even tired out of being too tired, +and dropped into oblivion. Late in the afternoon he awoke, and in +some anxiety sent round to Eugene's lodging hard by, to inquire if +he were up yet? + +Oh yes, he was up. In fact, he had not been to bed. He had just +come home. And here he was, close following on the heels of the +message. + +'Why what bloodshot, draggled, dishevelled spectacle is this!' cried +Mortimer. + +'Are my feathers so very much rumpled?' said Eugene, coolly going +up to the looking-glass. They ARE rather out of sorts. But +consider. Such a night for plumage!' + +'Such a night?' repeated Mortimer. 'What became of you in the +morning?' + +'My dear fellow,' said Eugene, sitting on his bed, 'I felt that we had +bored one another so long, that an unbroken continuance of those +relations must inevitably terminate in our flying to opposite points +of the earth. I also felt that I had committed every crime in the +Newgate Calendar. So, for mingled considerations of friendship +and felony, I took a walk.' + + + +Chapter 15 + +TWO NEW SERVANTS + + +Mr and Mrs Boffin sat after breakfast, in the Bower, a prey to +prosperity. Mr Boffin's face denoted Care and Complication. +Many disordered papers were before him, and he looked at them +about as hopefully as an innocent civilian might look at a crowd of +troops whom he was required at five minutes' notice to manoeuvre +and review. He had been engaged in some attempts to make notes +of these papers; but being troubled (as men of his stamp often are) +with an exceedingly distrustful and corrective thumb, that busy +member had so often interposed to smear his notes, that they were +little more legible than the various impressions of itself; which +blurred his nose and forehead. It is curious to consider, in such a +case as Mr Boffin's, what a cheap article ink is, and how far it may +be made to go. As a grain of musk will scent a drawer for many +years, and still lose nothing appreciable of its original weight, so a +halfpenny-worth of ink would blot Mr Boffin to the roots of his +hair and the calves of his legs, without inscribing a line on the +paper before him, or appearing to diminish in the inkstand. + +Mr Boffin was in such severe literary difficulties that his eyes were +prominent and fixed, and his breathing was stertorous, when, to +the great relief of Mrs Boffin, who observed these symptoms with +alarm, the yard bell rang. + +'Who's that, I wonder!' said Mrs Boffin. + +Mr Boffin drew a long breath, laid down his pen, looked at his +notes as doubting whether he had the pleasure of their +acquaintance, and appeared, on a second perusal of their +countenances, to be confirmed in his impression that he had not, +when there was announced by the hammer-headed young man: + +'Mr Rokesmith.' + +'Oh!' said Mr Boffin. 'Oh indeed! Our and the Wilfers' Mutual +Friend, my dear. Yes. Ask him to come in.' + +Mr Rokesmith appeared. + +'Sit down, sir,' said Mr Boffin, shaking hands with him. 'Mrs +Boffin you're already acquainted with. Well, sir, I am rather +unprepared to see you, for, to tell you the truth, I've been so busy +with one thing and another, that I've not had time to turn your offer +over.' + +'That's apology for both of us: for Mr Boffin, and for me as well,' +said the smiling Mrs Boffin. 'But Lor! we can talk it over now; +can't us?' + +Mr Rokesmith bowed, thanked her, and said he hoped so. + +'Let me see then,' resumed Mr Boffin, with his hand to his chin. 'It +was Secretary that you named; wasn't it?' + +'I said Secretary,' assented Mr Rokesmith. + +'It rather puzzled me at the time,' said Mr Boffin, 'and it rather +puzzled me and Mrs Boffin when we spoke of it afterwards, +because (not to make a mystery of our belief) we have always +believed a Secretary to be a piece of furniture, mostly of mahogany, +lined with green baize or leather, with a lot of little drawers in it. +Now, you won't think I take a liberty when I mention that you +certainly ain't THAT.' + +Certainly not, said Mr Rokesmith. But he had used the word in +the sense of Steward. + +'Why, as to Steward, you see,' returned Mr Boffin, with his hand +still to his chin, 'the odds are that Mrs Boffin and me may never go +upon the water. Being both bad sailors, we should want a Steward +if we did; but there's generally one provided.' + +Mr Rokesmith again explained; defining the duties he sought to +undertake, as those of general superintendent, or manager, or +overlooker, or man of business. + +'Now, for instance--come!' said Mr Boffin, in his pouncing way. 'If +you entered my employment, what would you do?' + +'I would keep exact accounts of all the expenditure you sanctioned, +Mr Boffin. I would write your letters, under your direction. I +would transact your business with people in your pay or +employment. I would,' with a glance and a half-smile at the table, +'arrange your papers--' + +Mr Boffin rubbed his inky ear, and looked at his wife. + +'--And so arrange them as to have them always in order for +immediate reference, with a note of the contents of each outside it.' + +'I tell you what,' said Mr Boffin, slowly crumpling his own blotted +note in his hand; 'if you'll turn to at these present papers, and see +what you can make of 'em, I shall know better what I can make of +you.' + +No sooner said than done. Relinquishing his hat and gloves, Mr +Rokesmith sat down quietly at the table, arranged the open papers +into an orderly heap, cast his eyes over each in succession, folded +it, docketed it on the outside, laid it in a second heap, and, when +that second heap was complete and the first gone, took from his +pocket a piece of string and tied it together with a remarkably +dexterous hand at a running curve and a loop. + +'Good!' said Mr Boffin. 'Very good! Now let us hear what they're +all about; will you be so good?' + +John Rokesmith read his abstracts aloud. They were all about the +new house. Decorator's estimate, so much. Furniture estimate, so +much. Estimate for furniture of offices, so much. Coach-maker's +estimate, so much. Horse-dealer's estimate, so much. Harness- +maker's estimate, so much. Goldsmith's estimate, so much. +Total, so very much. Then came correspondence. Acceptance of +Mr Boffin's offer of such a date, and to such an effect. Rejection of +Mr Boffin's proposal of such a date and to such an effect. +Concerning Mr Boffin's scheme of such another date to such +another effect. All compact and methodical. + +'Apple-pie order!' said Mr Boffin, after checking off each +inscription with his hand, like a man beating time. 'And whatever +you do with your ink, I can't think, for you're as clean as a whistle +after it. Now, as to a letter. Let's,' said Mr Boffin, rubbing his +hands in his pleasantly childish admiration, 'let's try a letter next.' + +'To whom shall it be addressed, Mr Boffin?' + +'Anyone. Yourself.' + +Mr Rokesmith quickly wrote, and then read aloud: + +'"Mr Boffin presents his compliments to Mr John Rokesmith, and +begs to say that he has decided on giving Mr John Rokesmith a +trial in the capacity he desires to fill. Mr Boffin takes Mr John +Rokesmith at his word, in postponing to some indefinite period, +the consideration of salary. It is quite understood that Mr Boffin is +in no way committed on that point. Mr Boffin has merely to add, +that he relies on Mr John Rokesmith's assurance that he will be +faithful and serviceable. Mr John Rokesmith will please enter on +his duties immediately."' + +'Well! Now, Noddy!' cried Mrs Boffin, clapping her hands, 'That +IS a good one!' + +Mr Boffin was no less delighted; indeed, in his own bosom, he +regarded both the composition itself and the device that had given +birth to it, as a very remarkable monument of human ingenuity. + +'And I tell you, my deary,' said Mrs Boffin, 'that if you don't close +with Mr Rokesmith now at once, and if you ever go a muddling +yourself again with things never meant nor made for you, you'll +have an apoplexy--besides iron-moulding your linen--and you'll +break my heart.' + +Mr Boffin embraced his spouse for these words of wisdom, and +then, congratulating John Rokesmith on the brilliancy of his +achievements, gave him his hand in pledge of their new relations. +So did Mrs Boffin. + +'Now,' said Mr Boffin, who, in his frankness, felt that it did not +become him to have a gentleman in his employment five minutes, +without reposing some confidence in him, 'you must be let a little +more into our affairs, Rokesmith. I mentioned to you, when I +made your acquaintance, or I might better say when you made +mine, that Mrs Boffin's inclinations was setting in the way of +Fashion, but that I didn't know how fashionable we might or might +not grow. Well! Mrs Boffin has carried the day, and we're going +in neck and crop for Fashion.' + +'I rather inferred that, sir,' replied John Rokesmith, 'from the scale +on which your new establishment is to be maintained.' + +'Yes,' said Mr Boffin, 'it's to be a Spanker. The fact is, my literary +man named to me that a house with which he is, as I may say, +connected--in which he has an interest--' + +'As property?' inquired John Rokesmith. + +'Why no,' said Mr Boffin, 'not exactly that; a sort of a family tie.' + +'Association?' the Secretary suggested. + +'Ah!' said Mr Boffin. 'Perhaps. Anyhow, he named to me that the +house had a board up, "This Eminently Aristocratic Mansion to be +let or sold." Me and Mrs Boffin went to look at it, and finding it +beyond a doubt Eminently Aristocratic (though a trifle high and +dull, which after all may be part of the same thing) took it. My +literary man was so friendly as to drop into a charming piece of +poetry on that occasion, in which he complimented Mrs Boffin on +coming into possession of--how did it go, my dear?' + +Mrs Boffin replied: + + '"The gay, the gay and festive scene, + The halls, the halls of dazzling light."' + +'That's it! And it was made neater by there really being two halls +in the house, a front 'un and a back 'un, besides the servants'. He +likewise dropped into a very pretty piece of poetry to be sure, +respecting the extent to which he would be willing to put himself +out of the way to bring Mrs Boffin round, in case she should ever +get low in her spirits in the house. Mrs Boffin has a wonderful +memory. Will you repeat it, my dear?' + +Mrs Boffin complied, by reciting the verses in which this obliging +offer had been made, exactly as she had received them. + + '"I'll tell thee how the maiden wept, Mrs Boffin, + When her true love was slain ma'am, + And how her broken spirit slept, Mrs Boffin, + And never woke again ma'am. + I'll tell thee (if agreeable to Mr Boffin) how the steed drew + nigh, + And left his lord afar; + And if my tale (which I hope Mr Boffin might excuse) should + make you sigh, + I'll strike the light guitar."' + +'Correct to the letter!' said Mr Boffin. 'And I consider that the +poetry brings us both in, in a beautiful manner.' + +The effect of the poem on the Secretary being evidently to astonish +him, Mr Boffin was confirmed in his high opinion of it, and was +greatly pleased. + +'Now, you see, Rokesmith,' he went on, 'a literary man--WITH a +wooden leg--is liable to jealousy. I shall therefore cast about for +comfortable ways and means of not calling up Wegg's jealousy, +but of keeping you in your department, and keeping him in his.' + +'Lor!' cried Mrs Boffin. 'What I say is, the world's wide enough for +all of us!' + +'So it is, my dear,' said Mr Boffin, 'when not literary. But when so, +not so. And I am bound to bear in mind that I took Wegg on, at a +time when I had no thought of being fashionable or of leaving the +Bower. To let him feel himself anyways slighted now, would be to +be guilty of a meanness, and to act like having one's head turned +by the halls of dazzling light. Which Lord forbid! Rokesmith, +what shall we say about your living in the house?' + +'In this house?' + +'No, no. I have got other plans for this house. In the new house?' + +'That will be as you please, Mr Boffin. I hold myself quite at your +disposal. You know where I live at present.' + +'Well!' said Mr Boffin, after considering the point; 'suppose you +keep as you are for the present, and we'll decide by-and-by. You'll +begin to take charge at once, of all that's going on in the new +house, will you?' + +'Most willingly. I will begin this very day. Will you give me the +address?' + +Mr Boffin repeated it, and the Secretary wrote it down in his +pocket-book. Mrs Boffin took the opportunity of his being so +engaged, to get a better observation of his face than she had yet +taken. It impressed her in his favour, for she nodded aside to Mr +Boffin, 'I like him.' + +'I will see directly that everything is in train, Mr Boffin.' + +'Thank'ee. Being here, would you care at all to look round the +Bower?' + +'I should greatly like it. I have heard so much of its story.' + +'Come!' said Mr Boffin. And he and Mrs Boffin led the way. + +A gloomy house the Bower, with sordid signs on it of having been, +through its long existence as Harmony Jail, in miserly holding. +Bare of paint, bare of paper on the walls, bare of furniture, bare of +experience of human life. Whatever is built by man for man's +occupation, must, like natural creations, fulfil the intention of its +existence, or soon perish. This old house had wasted--more from +desuetude than it would have wasted from use, twenty years for +one. + +A certain leanness falls upon houses not sufficiently imbued with +life (as if they were nourished upon it), which was very noticeable +here. The staircase, balustrades, and rails, had a spare look--an air +of being denuded to the bone--which the panels of the walls and +the jambs of the doors and windows also bore. The scanty +moveables partook of it; save for the cleanliness of the place, the +dust--into which they were all resolving would have lain thick on +the floors; and those, both in colour and in grain, were worn like +old faces that had kept much alone. + +The bedroom where the clutching old man had lost his grip on life, +was left as he had left it. There was the old grisly four-post +bedstead, without hangings, and with a jail-like upper rim of iron +and spikes; and there was the old patch-work counterpane. There +was the tight-clenched old bureau, receding atop like a bad and +secret forehead; there was the cumbersome old table with twisted +legs, at the bed-side; and there was the box upon it, in which the +will had lain. A few old chairs with patch-work covers, under +which the more precious stuff to be preserved had slowly lost its +quality of colour without imparting pleasure to any eye, stood +against the wall. A hard family likeness was on all these things. + +'The room was kept like this, Rokesmith,' said Mr Boffin, 'against +the son's return. In short, everything in the house was kept exactly +as it came to us, for him to see and approve. Even now, nothing is +changed but our own room below-stairs that you have just left. +When the son came home for the last time in his life, and for the +last time in his life saw his father, it was most likely in this room +that they met.' + +As the Secretary looked all round it, his eyes rested on a side door +in a corner. + +'Another staircase,' said Mr Boffin, unlocking the door, 'leading +down into the yard. We'll go down this way, as you may like to +see the yard, and it's all in the road. When the son was a little +child, it was up and down these stairs that he mostly came and +went to his father. He was very timid of his father. I've seen him +sit on these stairs, in his shy way, poor child, many a time. Mr and +Mrs Boffin have comforted him, sitting with his little book on +these stairs, often.' + +'Ah! And his poor sister too,' said Mrs Boffin. 'And here's the +sunny place on the white wall where they one day measured one +another. Their own little hands wrote up their names here, only +with a pencil; but the names are here still, and the poor dears gone +for ever.' + +'We must take care of the names, old lady,' said Mr Boffin. 'We +must take care of the names. They shan't be rubbed out in our +time, nor yet, if we can help it, in the time after us. Poor little +children!' + +'Ah, poor little children!' said Mrs Boffin. + +They had opened the door at the bottom of the staircase giving on +the yard, and they stood in the sunlight, looking at the scrawl of the +two unsteady childish hands two or three steps up the staircase. +There was something in this simple memento of a blighted +childhood, and in the tenderness of Mrs Boffin, that touched the +Secretary. + +Mr Boffin then showed his new man of business the Mounds, and +his own particular Mound which had been left him as his legacy +under the will before he acquired the whole estate. + +'It would have been enough for us,' said Mr Boffin, 'in case it had +pleased God to spare the last of those two young lives and +sorrowful deaths. We didn't want the rest.' + +At the treasures of the yard, and at the outside of the house, and at +the detached building which Mr Boffin pointed out as the residence +of himself and his wife during the many years of their service, the +Secretary looked with interest. It was not until Mr Boffin had +shown him every wonder of the Bower twice over, that he +remembered his having duties to discharge elsewhere. + +'You have no instructions to give me, Mr Boffin, in reference to +this place?' + +'Not any, Rokesmith. No.' + +'Might I ask, without seeming impertinent, whether you have any +intention of selling it?' + +'Certainly not. In remembrance of our old master, our old master's +children, and our old service, me and Mrs Boffin mean to keep it +up as it stands.' + +The Secretary's eyes glanced with so much meaning in them at the +Mounds, that Mr Boffin said, as if in answer to a remark: + +'Ay, ay, that's another thing. I may sell THEM, though I should be +sorry to see the neighbourhood deprived of 'em too. It'll look but a +poor dead flat without the Mounds. Still I don't say that I'm going +to keep 'em always there, for the sake of the beauty of the +landscape. There's no hurry about it; that's all I say at present. I +ain't a scholar in much, Rokesmith, but I'm a pretty fair scholar in +dust. I can price the Mounds to a fraction, and I know how they +can be best disposed of; and likewise that they take no harm by +standing where they do. You'll look in to-morrow, will you be so +kind?' + +'Every day. And the sooner I can get you into your new house, +complete, the better you will be pleased, sir?' + +'Well, it ain't that I'm in a mortal hurry,' said Mr Boffin; 'only +when you DO pay people for looking alive, it's as well to know +that they ARE looking alive. Ain't that your opinion?' + +'Quite!' replied the Secretary; and so withdrew. + +'Now,' said Mr Boffin to himself; subsiding into his regular series +of turns in the yard, 'if I can make it comfortable with Wegg, my +affairs will be going smooth.' + +The man of low cunning had, of course, acquired a mastery over +the man of high simplicity. The mean man had, of course, got the +better of the generous man. How long such conquests last, is +another matter; that they are achieved, is every-day experience, not +even to be flourished away by Podsnappery itself. The +undesigning Boffin had become so far immeshed by the wily Wegg +that his mind misgave him he was a very designing man indeed in +purposing to do more for Wegg. It seemed to him (so skilful was +Wegg) that he was plotting darkly, when he was contriving to do +the very thing that Wegg was plotting to get him to do. And thus, +while he was mentally turning the kindest of kind faces on Wegg +this morning, he was not absolutely sure but that he might +somehow deserve the charge of turning his back on him. + +For these reasons Mr Boffin passed but anxious hours until +evening came, and with it Mr Wegg, stumping leisurely to the +Roman Empire. At about this period Mr Boffin had become +profoundly interested in the fortunes of a great military leader +known to him as Bully Sawyers, but perhaps better known to fame +and easier of identification by the classical student, under the less +Britannic name of Belisarius. Even this general's career paled in +interest for Mr Boffin before the clearing of his conscience with +Wegg; and hence, when that literary gentleman had according to +custom eaten and drunk until he was all a-glow, and when he took +up his book with the usual chirping introduction, 'And now, Mr +Boffin, sir, we'll decline and we'll fall!' Mr Boffin stopped him. + +'You remember, Wegg, when I first told you that I wanted to make +a sort of offer to you?' + +'Let me get on my considering cap, sir,' replied that gentleman, +turning the open book face downward. 'When you first told me +that you wanted to make a sort of offer to me? Now let me think.' +(as if there were the least necessity) 'Yes, to be sure I do, Mr +Boffin. It was at my corner. To be sure it was! You had first +asked me whether I liked your name, and Candour had compelled +a reply in the negative case. I little thought then, sir, how familiar +that name would come to be!' + +'I hope it will be more familiar still, Wegg.' + +'Do you, Mr Boffin? Much obliged to you, I'm sure. Is it your +pleasure, sir, that we decline and we fall?' with a feint of taking up +the book. + +'Not just yet awhile, Wegg. In fact, I have got another offer to +make you.' + +Mr Wegg (who had had nothing else in his mind for several +nights) took off his spectacles with an air of bland surprise. + +'And I hope you'll like it, Wegg.' + +'Thank you, sir,' returned that reticent individual. 'I hope it may +prove so. On all accounts, I am sure.' (This, as a philanthropic +aspiration.) + +'What do you think,' said Mr Boffin, 'of not keeping a stall, +Wegg?' + +'I think, sir,' replied Wegg, 'that I should like to be shown the +gentleman prepared to make it worth my while!' + +'Here he is,' said Mr Boffin. + +Mr Wegg was going to say, My Benefactor, and had said My +Bene, when a grandiloquent change came over him. + +'No, Mr Boffin, not you sir. Anybody but you. Do not fear, Mr +Boffin, that I shall contaminate the premises which your gold has +bought, with MY lowly pursuits. I am aware, sir, that it would not +become me to carry on my little traffic under the windows of your +mansion. I have already thought of that, and taken my measures. +No need to be bought out, sir. Would Stepney Fields be +considered intrusive? If not remote enough, I can go remoter. In +the words of the poet's song, which I do not quite remember: + + Thrown on the wide world, doom'd to wander and roam, + Bereft of my parents, bereft of a home, + A stranger to something and what's his name joy, + Behold little Edmund the poor Peasant boy. + +--And equally,' said Mr Wegg, repairing the want of direct +application in the last line, 'behold myself on a similar footing!' + +'Now, Wegg, Wegg, Wegg,' remonstrated the excellent Boffin. +'You are too sensitive.' + +'I know I am, sir,' returned Wegg, with obstinate magnanimity. 'I +am acquainted with my faults. I always was, from a child, too +sensitive.' + +'But listen,' pursued the Golden Dustman; 'hear me out, Wegg. +You have taken it into your head that I mean to pension you off.' + +'True, sir,' returned Wegg, still with an obstinate magnanimity. 'I +am acquainted with my faults. Far be it from me to deny them. I +HAVE taken it into my head.' + +'But I DON'T mean it.' + +The assurance seemed hardly as comforting to Mr Wegg, as Mr +Boffin intended it to be. Indeed, an appreciable elongation of his +visage might have been observed as he replied: + +'Don't you, indeed, sir?' + +'No,' pursued Mr Boffin; 'because that would express, as I +understand it, that you were not going to do anything to deserve +your money. But you are; you are.' + +'That, sir,' replied Mr Wegg, cheering up bravely, 'is quite another +pair of shoes. Now, my independence as a man is again elevated. +Now, I no longer + + Weep for the hour, + When to Boffinses bower, + The Lord of the valley with offers came; + Neither does the moon hide her light + From the heavens to-night, + And weep behind her clouds o'er any individual in the present + Company's shame. + +--Please to proceed, Mr Boffin.' + +'Thank'ee, Wegg, both for your confidence in me and for your +frequent dropping into poetry; both of which is friendly. Well, +then; my idea is, that you should give up your stall, and that I +should put you into the Bower here, to keep it for us. It's a +pleasant spot; and a man with coals and candles and a pound a +week might be in clover here.' + +'Hem! Would that man, sir--we will say that man, for the purposes +of argueyment;' Mr Wegg made a smiling demonstration of great +perspicuity here; 'would that man, sir, be expected to throw any +other capacity in, or would any other capacity be considered extra? +Now let us (for the purposes of argueyment) suppose that man to +be engaged as a reader: say (for the purposes of argunyment) in the +evening. Would that man's pay as a reader in the evening, be +added to the other amount, which, adopting your language, we will +call clover; or would it merge into that amount, or clover?' + +'Well,' said Mr Boffin, 'I suppose it would be added.' + +'I suppose it would, sir. You are right, sir. Exactly my own views, +Mr Boffin.' Here Wegg rose, and balancing himself on his wooden +leg, fluttered over his prey with extended hand. 'Mr Boffin, +consider it done. Say no more, sir, not a word more. My stall and +I are for ever parted. The collection of ballads will in future be +reserved for private study, with the object of making poetry +tributary'--Wegg was so proud of having found this word, that he +said it again, with a capital letter--'Tributary, to friendship. Mr +Boffin, don't allow yourself to be made uncomfortable by the pang +it gives me to part from my stock and stall. Similar emotion was +undergone by my own father when promoted for his merits from +his occupation as a waterman to a situation under Government. +His Christian name was Thomas. His words at the time (I was +then an infant, but so deep was their impression on me, that I +committed them to memory) were: + + Then farewell my trim-built wherry, + Oars and coat and badge farewell! + Never more at Chelsea Ferry, + Shall your Thomas take a spell! + +--My father got over it, Mr Boffin, and so shall I.' + +While delivering these valedictory observations, Wegg continually +disappointed Mr Boffin of his hand by flourishing it in the air. He +now darted it at his patron, who took it, and felt his mind relieved +of a great weight: observing that as they had arranged their joint +affairs so satisfactorily, he would now be glad to look into those +of Bully Sawyers. Which, indeed, had been left over-night in a +very unpromising posture, and for whose impending expedition +against the Persians the weather had been by no means favourable +all day. + +Mr Wegg resumed his spectacles therefore. But Sawyers was not +to be of the party that night; for, before Wegg had found his place, +Mrs Boffin's tread was heard upon the stairs, so unusually heavy +and hurried, that Mr Boffin would have started up at the sound, +anticipating some occurrence much out of the common course, +even though she had not also called to him in an agitated tone. + +Mr Boffin hurried out, and found her on the dark staircase, +panting, with a lighted candle in her hand. + +'What's the matter, my dear?' + +'I don't know; I don't know; but I wish you'd come up-stairs.' + +Much surprised, Mr Boffin went up stairs and accompanied Mrs +Boffin into their own room: a second large room on the same floor +as the room in which the late proprietor had died. Mr Boffin +looked all round him, and saw nothing more unusual than various +articles of folded linen on a large chest, which Mrs Boffin had been +sorting. + +'What is it, my dear? Why, you're frightened! YOU frightened?' + +'I am not one of that sort certainly,' said Mrs Boffin, as she sat +down in a chair to recover herself, and took her husband's arm; 'but +it's very strange!' + +'What is, my dear?' + +'Noddy, the faces of the old man and the two children are all over +the house to-night.' + +'My dear?' exclaimed Mr Boffin. But not without a certain +uncomfortable sensation gliding down his back. + +'I know it must sound foolish, and yet it is so.' + +'Where did you think you saw them?' + +'I don't know that I think I saw them anywhere. I felt them.' + +'Touched them?' + +'No. Felt them in the air. I was sorting those things on the chest, +and not thinking of the old man or the children, but singing to +myself, when all in a moment I felt there was a face growing out of +the dark.' + +'What face?' asked her husband, looking about him. + +'For a moment it was the old man's, and then it got younger. For a +moment it was both the children's, and then it got older. For a +moment it was a strange face, and then it was all the faces.' + +'And then it was gone?' + +'Yes; and then it was gone.' + +'Where were you then, old lady?' + +'Here, at the chest. Well; I got the better of it, and went on sorting, +and went on singing to myself. "Lor!" I says, "I'll think of +something else--something comfortable--and put it out of my +head." So I thought of the new house and Miss Bella Wilfer, and +was thinking at a great rate with that sheet there in my hand, when +all of a sudden, the faces seemed to be hidden in among the folds +of it and I let it drop.' + +As it still lay on the floor where it had fallen, Mr Boffin picked it +up and laid it on the chest. + +'And then you ran down stairs?' + +'No. I thought I'd try another room, and shake it off. I says to +myself, "I'll go and walk slowly up and down the old man's room +three times, from end to end, and then I shall have conquered it." I +went in with the candle in my hand; but the moment I came near +the bed, the air got thick with them.' + +'With the faces?' + +'Yes, and I even felt that they were in the dark behind the side- +door, and on the little staircase, floating away into the yard. Then, +I called you.' + +Mr Boffin, lost in amazement, looked at Mrs Boffin. Mrs Boffin, +lost in her own fluttered inability to make this out, looked at Mr +Boffin. + +'I think, my dear,' said the Golden Dustman, 'I'll at once get rid of +Wegg for the night, because he's coming to inhabit the Bower, and +it might be put into his head or somebody else's, if he heard this +and it got about that the house is haunted. Whereas we know +better. Don't we?' + +'I never had the feeling in the house before,' said Mrs Boffin; 'and I +have been about it alone at all hours of the night. I have been in +the house when Death was in it, and I have been in the house when +Murder was a new part of its adventures, and I never had a fright +in it yet.' + +'And won't again, my dear,' said Mr Boffin. 'Depend upon it, it +comes of thinking and dwelling on that dark spot.' + +'Yes; but why didn't it come before?' asked Mrs Boffin. + +This draft on Mr Boffin's philosophy could only be met by that +gentleman with the remark that everything that is at all, must begin +at some time. Then, tucking his wife's arm under his own, that she +might not be left by herself to be troubled again, he descended to +release Wegg. Who, being something drowsy after his plentiful +repast, and constitutionally of a shirking temperament, was well +enough pleased to stump away, without doing what he had come to +do, and was paid for doing. + +Mr Boffin then put on his hat, and Mrs Boffin her shawl; and the +pair, further provided with a bunch of keys and a lighted lantern, +went all over the dismal house--dismal everywhere, but in their +own two rooms--from cellar to cock-loft. Not resting satisfied with +giving that much chace to Mrs Boffin's fancies, they pursued them +into the yard and outbuildings, and under the Mounds. And +setting the lantern, when all was done, at the foot of one of the +Mounds, they comfortably trotted to and fro for an evening walk, to +the end that the murky cobwebs in Mrs Boffin's brain might be +blown away. + +There, my dear!' said Mr Boffin when they came in to supper. +'That was the treatment, you see. Completely worked round, +haven't you?' + +'Yes, deary,' said Mrs Boffin, laying aside her shawl. 'I'm not +nervous any more. I'm not a bit troubled now. I'd go anywhere +about the house the same as ever. But--' + +'Eh!' said Mr Boffin. + +'But I've only to shut my eyes.' + +'And what then?' + +'Why then,' said Mrs Boffin, speaking with her eyes closed, and +her left hand thoughtfully touching her brow, 'then, there they are! +The old man's face, and it gets younger. The two children's faces, +and they get older. A face that I don't know. And then all the +faces!' + +Opening her eyes again, and seeing her husband's face across the +table, she leaned forward to give it a pat on the cheek, and sat +down to supper, declaring it to be the best face in the world. + + + +Chapter 16 + +MINDERS AND RE-MINDERS + + +The Secretary lost no time in getting to work, and his vigilance and +method soon set their mark on the Golden Dustman's affairs. His +earnestness in determining to understand the length and breadth +and depth of every piece of work submitted to him by his employer, +was as special as his despatch in transacting it. He accepted no +information or explanation at second hand, but made himself the +master of everything confided to him. + +One part of the Secretary's conduct, underlying all the rest, might +have been mistrusted by a man with a better knowledge of men +than the Golden Dustman had. The Secretary was as far from +being inquisitive or intrusive as Secretary could be, but nothing +less than a complete understanding of the whole of the affairs +would content him. It soon became apparent (from the knowledge +with which he set out) that he must have been to the office where +the Harmon will was registered, and must have read the will. He +anticipated Mr Boffin's consideration whether he should be +advised with on this or that topic, by showing that he already knew +of it and understood it. He did this with no attempt at +concealment, seeming to be satisfied that it was part of his duty to +have prepared himself at all attainable points for its utmost +discharge. + +This might--let it be repeated--have awakened some little vague +mistrust in a man more worldly-wise than the Golden Dustman. +On the other hand, the Secretary was discerning, discreet, and +silent, though as zealous as if the affairs had been his own. He +showed no love of patronage or the command of money, but +distinctly preferred resigning both to Mr Boffin. If, in his limited +sphere, he sought power, it was the power of knowledge; the +power derivable from a perfect comprehension of his business. + +As on the Secretary's face there was a nameless cloud, so on his +manner there was a shadow equally indefinable. It was not that he +was embarrassed, as on that first night with the Wilfer family; he +was habitually unembarrassed now, and yet the something +remained. It was not that his manner was bad, as on that occasion; +it was now very good, as being modest, gracious, and ready. Yet +the something never left it. It has been written of men who have +undergone a cruel captivity, or who have passed through a terrible +strait, or who in self-preservation have killed a defenceless fellow- +creature, that the record thereof has never faded from their +countenances until they died. Was there any such record here? + +He established a temporary office for himself in the new house, and +all went well under his hand, with one singular exception. He +manifestly objected to communicate with Mr Boffin's solicitor. +Two or three times, when there was some slight occasion for his +doing so, he transferred the task to Mr Boffin; and his evasion of it +soon became so curiously apparent, that Mr Boffin spoke to him on +the subject of his reluctance. + +'It is so,' the Secretary admitted. 'I would rather not.' + +Had he any personal objection to Mr Lightwood? + +'I don't know him.' + +Had he suffered from law-suits? + +'Not more than other men,' was his short answer. + +Was he prejudiced against the race of lawyers? + +'No. But while I am in your employment, sir, I would rather be +excused from going between the lawyer and the client. Of course if +you press it, Mr Boffin, I am ready to comply. But I should take it +as a great favour if you would not press it without urgent occasion.' + +Now, it could not be said that there WAS urgent occasion, for +Lightwood retained no other affairs in his hands than such as still +lingered and languished about the undiscovered criminal, and such +as arose out of the purchase of the house. Many other matters that +might have travelled to him, now stopped short at the Secretary, +under whose administration they were far more expeditiously and +satisfactorily disposed of than they would have been if they had got +into Young Blight's domain. This the Golden Dustman quite +understood. Even the matter immediately in hand was of very little +moment as requiring personal appearance on the Secretary's part, +for it amounted to no more than this:--The death of Hexam +rendering the sweat of the honest man's brow unprofitable, the +honest man had shufflingly declined to moisten his brow for +nothing, with that severe exertion which is known in legal circles +as swearing your way through a stone wall. Consequently, that +new light had gone sputtering out. But, the airing of the old facts +had led some one concerned to suggest that it would be well before +they were reconsigned to their gloomy shelf--now probably for +ever--to induce or compel that Mr Julius Handford to reappear and +be questioned. And all traces of Mr Julius Handford being lost, +Lightwood now referred to his client for authority to seek him +through public advertisement. + +'Does your objection go to writing to Lightwood, Rokesmith?' + +'Not in the least, sir.' + +'Then perhaps you'll write him a line, and say he is free to do what +he likes. I don't think it promises.' + +'I don't think it promises,' said the Secretary. + +'Still, he may do what he likes.' + +'I will write immediately. Let me thank you for so considerately +yielding to my disinclination. It may seem less unreasonable, if I +avow to you that although I don't know Mr Lightwood, I have a +disagreeable association connected with him. It is not his fault; he +is not at all to blame for it, and does not even know my name.' + +Mr Boffin dismissed the matter with a nod or two. The letter was +written, and next day Mr Julius Handford was advertised for. He +was requested to place himself in communication with Mr +Mortimer Lightwood, as a possible means of furthering the ends of +justice, and a reward was offered to any one acquainted with his +whereabout who would communicate the same to the said Mr +Mortimer Lightwood at his office in the Temple. Every day for six +weeks this advertisement appeared at the head of all the +newspapers, and every day for six weeks the Secretary, when he +saw it, said to himself; in the tone in which he had said to his +employer,--'I don't think it promises!' + +Among his first occupations the pursuit of that orphan wanted by +Mrs Boffin held a conspicuous place. From the earliest moment of +his engagement he showed a particular desire to please her, and, +knowing her to have this object at heart, he followed it up with +unwearying alacrity and interest. + +Mr and Mrs Milvey had found their search a difficult one. Either +an eligible orphan was of the wrong sex (which almost always +happened) or was too old, or too young, or too sickly, or too dirty, +or too much accustomed to the streets, or too likely to run away; or, +it was found impossible to complete the philanthropic transaction +without buying the orphan. For, the instant it became known that +anybody wanted the orphan, up started some affectionate relative +of the orphan who put a price upon the orphan's head. The +suddenness of an orphan's rise in the market was not to be +paralleled by the maddest records of the Stock Exchange. He +would be at five thousand per cent discount out at nurse making a +mud pie at nine in the morning, and (being inquired for) would go +up to five thousand per cent premium before noon. The market +was 'rigged' in various artful ways. Counterfeit stock got into +circulation. Parents boldly represented themselves as dead, and +brought their orphans with them. Genuine orphan-stock was +surreptitiously withdrawn from the market. It being announced, by +emissaries posted for the purpose, that Mr and Mrs Milvey were +coming down the court, orphan scrip would be instantly concealed, +and production refused, save on a condition usually stated by the +brokers as 'a gallon of beer'. Likewise, fluctuations of a wild and +South-Sea nature were occasioned, by orphan-holders keeping +back, and then rushing into the market a dozen together. But, the +uniform principle at the root of all these various operations was +bargain and sale; and that principle could not be recognized by Mr +and Mrs Milvey. + +At length, tidings were received by the Reverend Frank of a +charming orphan to be found at Brentford. One of the deceased +parents (late his parishioners) had a poor widowed grandmother in +that agreeable town, and she, Mrs Betty Higden, had carried off the +orphan with maternal care, but could not afford to keep him. + +The Secretary proposed to Mrs Boffin, either to go down himself +and take a preliminary survey of this orphan, or to drive her down, +that she might at once form her own opinion. Mrs Boffin +preferring the latter course, they set off one morning in a hired +phaeton, conveying the hammer-headed young man behind them. + +The abode of Mrs Betty Higden was not easy to find, lying in such +complicated back settlements of muddy Brentford that they left +their equipage at the sign of the Three Magpies, and went in search +of it on foot. After many inquiries and defeats, there was pointed +out to them in a lane, a very small cottage residence, with a board +across the open doorway, hooked on to which board by the armpits +was a young gentleman of tender years, angling for mud with a +headless wooden horse and line. In this young sportsman, +distinguished by a crisply curling auburn head and a bluff +countenance, the Secretary descried the orphan. + +It unfortunately happened as they quickened their pace, that the +orphan, lost to considerations of personal safety in the ardour of the +moment, overbalanced himself and toppled into the street. Being +an orphan of a chubby conformation, he then took to rolling, and +had rolled into the gutter before they could come up. From the +gutter he was rescued by John Rokesmith, and thus the first +meeting with Mrs Higden was inaugurated by the awkward +circumstance of their being in possession--one would say at first +sight unlawful possession--of the orphan, upside down and purple +in the countenance. The board across the doorway too, acting as a +trap equally for the feet of Mrs Higden coming out, and the feet of +Mrs Boffin and John Rokesmith going in, greatly increased the +difficulty of the situation: to which the cries of the orphan imparted +a lugubrious and inhuman character. + +At first, it was impossible to explain, on account of the orphan's +'holding his breath': a most terrific proceeding, super-inducing in +the orphan lead-colour rigidity and a deadly silence, compared +with which his cries were music yielding the height of enjoyment. +But as he gradually recovered, Mrs Boffin gradually introduced +herself; and smiling peace was gradually wooed back to Mrs Betty +Higden's home. + +It was then perceived to be a small home with a large mangle in it, +at the handle of which machine stood a very long boy, with a very +little head, and an open mouth of disproportionate capacity that +seemed to assist his eyes in staring at the visitors. In a corner +below the mangle, on a couple of stools, sat two very little +children: a boy and a girl; and when the very long boy, in an +interval of staring, took a turn at the mangle, it was alarming to see +how it lunged itself at those two innocents, like a catapult designed +for their destruction, harmlessly retiring when within an inch of +their heads. The room was clean and neat. It had a brick floor, +and a window of diamond panes, and a flounce hanging below the +chimney-piece, and strings nailed from bottom to top outside the +window on which scarlet-beans were to grow in the coming season +if the Fates were propitious. However propitious they might have +been in the seasons that were gone, to Betty Higden in the matter +of beans, they had not been very favourable in the matter of coins; +for it was easy to see that she was poor. + +She was one of those old women, was Mrs Betty Higden, who by +dint of an indomitable purpose and a strong constitution fight out +many years, though each year has come with its new knock-down +blows fresh to the fight against her, wearied by it; an active old +woman, with a bright dark eye and a resolute face, yet quite a +tender creature too; not a logically-reasoning woman, but God is +good, and hearts may count in Heaven as high as heads. + +'Yes sure!' said she, when the business was opened, 'Mrs Milvey +had the kindness to write to me, ma'am, and I got Sloppy to read it. +It was a pretty letter. But she's an affable lady.' + +The visitors glanced at the long boy, who seemed to indicate by a +broader stare of his mouth and eyes that in him Sloppy stood +confessed. + +'For I aint, you must know,' said Betty, 'much of a hand at reading +writing-hand, though I can read my Bible and most print. And I +do love a newspaper. You mightn't think it, but Sloppy is a +beautiful reader of a newspaper. He do the Police in different +voices.' + +The visitors again considered it a point of politeness to look at +Sloppy, who, looking at them, suddenly threw back his head, +extended his mouth to its utmost width, and laughed loud and +long. At this the two innocents, with their brains in that apparent +danger, laughed, and Mrs Higden laughed, and the orphan +laughed, and then the visitors laughed. Which was more cheerful +than intelligible. + +Then Sloppy seeming to be seized with an industrious mania or +fury, turned to at the mangle, and impelled it at the heads of the +innocents with such a creaking and rumbling, that Mrs Higden +stopped him. + +'The gentlefolks can't hear themselves speak, Sloppy. Bide a bit, +bide a bit!' + +'Is that the dear child in your lap?' said Mrs Boffin. + +'Yes, ma'am, this is Johnny.' + +'Johnny, too!' cried Mrs Boffin, turning to the Secretary; 'already +Johnny! Only one of the two names left to give him! He's a pretty +boy.' + +With his chin tucked down in his shy childish manner, he was +looking furtively at Mrs Boffin out of his blue eyes, and reaching +his fat dimpled hand up to the lips of the old woman, who was +kissing it by times. + +'Yes, ma'am, he's a pretty boy, he's a dear darling boy, he's the +child of my own last left daughter's daughter. But she's gone the +way of all the rest.' + +'Those are not his brother and sister?' said Mrs Boffin. 'Oh, dear +no, ma'am. Those are Minders.' + +'Minders?' the Secretary repeated. + +'Left to be Minded, sir. I keep a Minding-School. I can take only +three, on account of the Mangle. But I love children, and Four- +pence a week is Four-pence. Come here, Toddles and Poddles.' + +Toddles was the pet-name of the boy; Poddles of the girl. At their +little unsteady pace, they came across the floor, hand-in-hand, as if +they were traversing an extremely difficult road intersected by +brooks, and, when they had had their heads patted by Mrs Betty +Higden, made lunges at the orphan, dramatically representing an +attempt to bear him, crowing, into captivity and slavery. All the +three children enjoyed this to a delightful extent, and the +sympathetic Sloppy again laughed long and loud. When it was +discreet to stop the play, Betty Higden said 'Go to your seats +Toddles and Poddles,' and they returned hand-in-hand across +country, seeming to find the brooks rather swollen by late rains. + +'And Master--or Mister--Sloppy?' said the Secretary, in doubt +whether he was man, boy, or what. + +'A love-child,' returned Betty Higden, dropping her voice; 'parents +never known; found in the street. He was brought up in the--' with +a shiver of repugnance, '--the House.' + +'The Poor-house?' said the Secretary. + +Mrs Higden set that resolute old face of hers, and darkly nodded +yes. + +'You dislike the mention of it.' + +'Dislike the mention of it?' answered the old woman. 'Kill me +sooner than take me there. Throw this pretty child under cart- +horses feet and a loaded waggon, sooner than take him there. +Come to us and find us all a-dying, and set a light to us all where +we lie and let us all blaze away with the house into a heap of +cinders sooner than move a corpse of us there!' + +A surprising spirit in this lonely woman after so many years of +hard working, and hard living, my Lords and Gentlemen and +Honourable Boards! What is it that we call it in our grandiose +speeches? British independence, rather perverted? Is that, or +something like it, the ring of the cant? + +'Do I never read in the newspapers,' said the dame, fondling the +child--'God help me and the like of me!--how the worn-out people +that do come down to that, get driven from post to pillar and pillar +to post, a-purpose to tire them out! Do I never read how they are +put off, put off, put off--how they are grudged, grudged, grudged, +the shelter, or the doctor, or the drop of physic, or the bit of bread? +Do I never read how they grow heartsick of it and give it up, after +having let themselves drop so low, and how they after all die out +for want of help? Then I say, I hope I can die as well as another, +and I'll die without that disgrace.' + +Absolutely impossible my Lords and Gentlemen and Honourable +Boards, by any stretch of legislative wisdom to set these perverse +people right in their logic? + +'Johnny, my pretty,' continued old Betty, caressing the child, and +rather mourning over it than speaking to it, 'your old Granny Betty +is nigher fourscore year than threescore and ten. She never begged +nor had a penny of the Union money in all her life. She paid scot +and she paid lot when she had money to pay; she worked when she +could, and she starved when she must. You pray that your Granny +may have strength enough left her at the last (she's strong for an +old one, Johnny), to get up from her bed and run and hide herself +and swown to death in a hole, sooner than fall into the hands of +those Cruel Jacks we read of that dodge and drive, and worry and +weary, and scorn and shame, the decent poor.' + +A brilliant success, my Lords and Gentlemen and Honourable +Boards to have brought it to this in the minds of the best of the +poor! Under submission, might it be worth thinking of at any odd +time? + +The fright and abhorrence that Mrs Betty Higden smoothed out of +her strong face as she ended this diversion, showed how seriously +she had meant it. + +'And does he work for you?' asked the Secretary, gently bringing +the discourse back to Master or Mister Sloppy. + +'Yes,' said Betty with a good-humoured smile and nod of the head. +'And well too.' + +'Does he live here?' + +'He lives more here than anywhere. He was thought to be no +better than a Natural, and first come to me as a Minder. I made +interest with Mr Blogg the Beadle to have him as a Minder, seeing +him by chance up at church, and thinking I might do something +with him. For he was a weak ricketty creetur then.' + +'Is he called by his right name?' + +'Why, you see, speaking quite correctly, he has no right name. I +always understood he took his name from being found on a Sloppy +night.' + +'He seems an amiable fellow.' + +'Bless you, sir, there's not a bit of him,' returned Betty, 'that's not +amiable. So you may judge how amiable he is, by running your +eye along his heighth.' + +Of an ungainly make was Sloppy. Too much of him longwise, too +little of him broadwise, and too many sharp angles of him angle- +wise. One of those shambling male human creatures, born to be +indiscreetly candid in the revelation of buttons; every button he had +about him glaring at the public to a quite preternatural extent. A +considerable capital of knee and elbow and wrist and ankle, had +Sloppy, and he didn't know how to dispose of it to the best +advantage, but was always investing it in wrong securities, and so +getting himself into embarrassed circumstances. Full-Private +Number One in the Awkward Squad of the rank and file of life, +was Sloppy, and yet had his glimmering notions of standing true to +the Colours. + +'And now,' said Mrs Boffin, 'concerning Johnny.' + +As Johnny, with his chin tucked in and lips pouting, reclined in +Betty's lap, concentrating his blue eyes on the visitors and shading +them from observation with a dimpled arm, old Betty took one of +his fresh fat hands in her withered right, and fell to gently beating +it on her withered left. + +'Yes, ma'am. Concerning Johnny.' + +'If you trust the dear child to me,' said Mrs Boffin, with a face +inviting trust, 'he shall have the best of homes, the best of care, the +best of education, the best of friends. Please God I will be a true +good mother to him!' + +'I am thankful to you, ma'am, and the dear child would be thankful +if he was old enough to understand.' Still lightly beating the little +hand upon her own. 'I wouldn't stand in the dear child's light, not +if I had all my life before me instead of a very little of it. But I +hope you won't take it ill that I cleave to the child closer than +words can tell, for he's the last living thing left me.' + +'Take it ill, my dear soul? Is it likely? And you so tender of him as +to bring him home here!' + +'I have seen,' said Betty, still with that light beat upon her hard +rough hand, 'so many of them on my lap. And they are all gone +but this one! I am ashamed to seem so selfish, but I don't really +mean it. It'll be the making of his fortune, and he'll be a gentleman +when I am dead. I--I--don't know what comes over me. I--try +against it. Don't notice me!' The light beat stopped, the resolute +mouth gave way, and the fine strong old face broke up into +weakness and tears. + +Now, greatly to the relief of the visitors, the emotional Sloppy no +sooner beheld his patroness in this condition, than, throwing back +his head and throwing open his mouth, he lifted up his voice and +bellowed. This alarming note of something wrong instantly +terrified Toddles and Poddles, who were no sooner heard to roar +surprisingly, than Johnny, curving himself the wrong way and +striking out at Mrs Boffin with a pair of indifferent shoes, became +a prey to despair. The absurdity of the situation put its pathos to +the rout. Mrs Betty Higden was herself in a moment, and brought +them all to order with that speed, that Sloppy, stopping short in a +polysyllabic bellow, transferred his energy to the mangle, and had +taken several penitential turns before he could be stopped. + +'There, there, there!' said Mrs Boffin, almost regarding her kind +self as the most ruthless of women. 'Nothing is going to be done. +Nobody need be frightened. We're all comfortable; ain't we, Mrs +Higden?' + +'Sure and certain we are,' returned Betty. + +'And there really is no hurry, you know,' said Mrs Boffin in a lower +voice. 'Take time to think of it, my good creature!' + +'Don't you fear ME no more, ma'am,' said Betty; 'I thought of it for +good yesterday. I don't know what come over me just now, but it'll +never come again.' + +'Well, then, Johnny shall have more time to think of it,' returned +Mrs Boffin; 'the pretty child shall have time to get used to it. And +you'll get him more used to it, if you think well of it; won't you?' + +Betty undertook that, cheerfully and readily. + +'Lor,' cried Mrs Boffin, looking radiantly about her, 'we want to +make everybody happy, not dismal!--And perhaps you wouldn't +mind letting me know how used to it you begin to get, and how it +all goes on?' + +'I'll send Sloppy,' said Mrs Higden. + +'And this gentleman who has come with me will pay him for his +trouble,' said Mrs Boffin. 'And Mr Sloppy, whenever you come to +my house, be sure you never go away without having had a good +dinner of meat, beer, vegetables, and pudding.' + +This still further brightened the face of affairs; for, the highly +sympathetic Sloppy, first broadly staring and grinning, and then +roaring with laughter, Toddles and Poddles followed suit, and +Johnny trumped the trick. T and P considering these favourable +circumstances for the resumption of that dramatic descent upon +Johnny, again came across-country hand-in-hand upon a +buccaneering expedition; and this having been fought out in the +chimney corner behind Mrs Higden's chair, with great valour on +both sides, those desperate pirates returned hand-in-hand to their +stools, across the dry bed of a mountain torrent. + +'You must tell me what I can do for you, Betty my friend,' said Mrs +Boffin confidentially, 'if not to-day, next time.' + +'Thank you all the same, ma'am, but I want nothing for myself. I +can work. I'm strong. I can walk twenty mile if I'm put to it.' Old +Betty was proud, and said it with a sparkle in her bright eyes. + +'Yes, but there are some little comforts that you wouldn't be the +worse for,' returned Mrs Boffin. 'Bless ye, I wasn't born a lady any +more than you.' + +'It seems to me,' said Betty, smiling, 'that you were born a lady, +and a true one, or there never was a lady born. But I couldn't take +anything from you, my dear. I never did take anything from any +one. It ain't that I'm not grateful, but I love to earn it better.' + +'Well, well!' returned Mrs Boffin. 'I only spoke of little things, or I +wouldn't have taken the liberty.' + +Betty put her visitor's hand to her lips, in acknowledgment of the +delicate answer. Wonderfully upright her figure was, and +wonderfully self-reliant her look, as, standing facing her visitor, +she explained herself further. + +'If I could have kept the dear child, without the dread that's always +upon me of his coming to that fate I have spoken of, I could never +have parted with him, even to you. For I love him, I love him, I +love him! I love my husband long dead and gone, in him; I love +my children dead and gone, in him; I love my young and hopeful +days dead and gone, in him. I couldn't sell that love, and look you +in your bright kind face. It's a free gift. I am in want of nothing. +When my strength fails me, if I can but die out quick and quiet, I +shall be quite content. I have stood between my dead and that +shame I have spoken of; and it has been kept off from every one of +them. Sewed into my gown,' with her hand upon her breast, 'is just +enough to lay me in the grave. Only see that it's rightly spent, so +as I may rest free to the last from that cruelty and disgrace, and +you'll have done much more than a little thing for me, and all that +in this present world my heart is set upon.' + +Mrs Betty Higden's visitor pressed her hand. There was no more +breaking up of the strong old face into weakness. My Lords and +Gentlemen and Honourable Boards, it really was as composed as +our own faces, and almost as dignified. + +And now, Johnny was to be inveigled into occupying a temporary +position on Mrs Boffin's lap. It was not until he had been piqued +into competition with the two diminutive Minders, by seeing them +successively raised to that post and retire from it without injury, +that he could be by any means induced to leave Mrs Betty Higden's +skirts; towards which he exhibited, even when in Mrs Boffin's +embrace, strong yearnings, spiritual and bodily; the former +expressed in a very gloomy visage, the latter in extended arms. +However, a general description of the toy-wonders lurking in Mr +Boffin's house, so far conciliated this worldly-minded orphan as to +induce him to stare at her frowningly, with a fist in his mouth, and +even at length to chuckle when a richly-caparisoned horse on +wheels, with a miraculous gift of cantering to cake-shops, was +mentioned. This sound being taken up by the Minders, swelled +into a rapturous trio which gave general satisfaction. + +So, the interview was considered very successful, and Mrs Boffin +was pleased, and all were satisfied. Not least of all, Sloppy, who +undertook to conduct the visitors back by the best way to the Three +Magpies, and whom the hammer-headed young man much +despised. + +This piece of business thus put in train, the Secretary drove Mrs +Boffin back to the Bower, and found employment for himself at the +new house until evening. Whether, when evening came, he took a +way to his lodgings that led through fields, with any design of +finding Miss Bella Wilfer in those fields, is not so certain as that +she regularly walked there at that hour. + +And, moreover, it is certain that there she was. + +No longer in mourning, Miss Bella was dressed in as pretty +colours as she could muster. There is no denying that she was as +pretty as they, and that she and the colours went very prettily +together. She was reading as she walked, and of course it is to be +inferred, from her showing no knowledge of Mr Rokesmith's +approach, that she did not know he was approaching. + +'Eh?' said Miss Bella, raising her eyes from her book, when he +stopped before her. 'Oh! It's you.' + +'Only I. A fine evening!' + +'Is it?' said Bella, looking coldly round. 'I suppose it is, now you +mention it. I have not been thinking of the evening.' + +'So intent upon your book?' + +'Ye-e-es,' replied Bella, with a drawl of indifference. + +'A love story, Miss Wilfer?' + +'Oh dear no, or I shouldn't be reading it. It's more about money +than anything else.' + +'And does it say that money is better than anything?' + +'Upon my word,' returned Bella, 'I forget what it says, but you can +find out for yourself if you like, Mr Rokesmith. I don't want it any +more.' + +The Secretary took the book--she had fluttered the leaves as if it +were a fan--and walked beside her. + +'I am charged with a message for you, Miss Wilfer.' + +'Impossible, I think!' said Bella, with another drawl. + +'From Mrs Boffin. She desired me to assure you of the pleasure +she has in finding that she will be ready to receive you in another +week or two at furthest.' + +Bella turned her head towards him, with her prettily-insolent +eyebrows raised, and her eyelids drooping. As much as to say, +'How did YOU come by the message, pray?' + +'I have been waiting for an opportunity of telling you that I am Mr +Boffin's Secretary.' + +'I am as wise as ever,' said Miss Bella, loftily, 'for I don't know +what a Secretary is. Not that it signifies.' + +'Not at all.' + +A covert glance at her face, as he walked beside her, showed him +that she had not expected his ready assent to that proposition. + +'Then are you going to be always there, Mr Rokesmith?' she +inquired, as if that would be a drawback. + +'Always? No. Very much there? Yes.' + +'Dear me!' drawled Bella, in a tone of mortification. + +'But my position there as Secretary, will be very different from +yours as guest. You will know little or nothing about me. I shall +transact the business: you will transact the pleasure. I shall have +my salary to earn; you will have nothing to do but to enjoy and +attract.' + +'Attract, sir?' said Bella, again with her eyebrows raised, and her +eyelids drooping. 'I don't understand you.' + +Without replying on this point, Mr Rokesmith went on. + +'Excuse me; when I first saw you in your black dress--' + +('There!' was Miss Bella's mental exclamation. 'What did I say to +them at home? Everybody noticed that ridiculous mourning.') + +'When I first saw you in your black dress, I was at a loss to account +for that distinction between yourself and your family. I hope it was +not impertinent to speculate upon it?' + +'I hope not, I am sure,' said Miss Bella, haughtily. 'But you ought +to know best how you speculated upon it.' + +Mr Rokesmith inclined his head in a deprecatory manner, and +went on. + +'Since I have been entrusted with Mr Boffin's affairs, I have +necessarily come to understand the little mystery. I venture to +remark that I feel persuaded that much of your loss may be +repaired. I speak, of course, merely of wealth, Miss Wilfer. The +loss of a perfect stranger, whose worth, or worthlessness, I cannot +estimate--nor you either--is beside the question. But this excellent +gentleman and lady are so full of simplicity, so full of generosity, +so inclined towards you, and so desirous to--how shall I express +it?--to make amends for their good fortune, that you have only to +respond.' + +As he watched her with another covert look, he saw a certain +ambitious triumph in her face which no assumed coldness could +conceal. + +'As we have been brought under one roof by an accidental +combination of circumstances, which oddly extends itself to the +new relations before us, I have taken the liberty of saying these few +words. You don't consider them intrusive I hope?' said the +Secretary with deference. + +'Really, Mr Rokesmith, I can't say what I consider them,' returned +the young lady. 'They are perfectly new to me, and may be founded +altogether on your own imagination.' + +'You will see.' + +These same fields were opposite the Wilfer premises. The discreet +Mrs Wilfer now looking out of window and beholding her +daughter in conference with her lodger, instantly tied up her head +and came out for a casual walk. + +'I have been telling Miss Wilfer,' said John Rokesmith, as the +majestic lady came stalking up, 'that I have become, by a curious +chance, Mr Boffin's Secretary or man of business.' + +'I have not,' returned Mrs Wilfer, waving her gloves in her chronic +state of dignity, and vague ill-usage, 'the honour of any intimate +acquaintance with Mr Boffin, and it is not for me to congratulate +that gentleman on the acquisition he has made.' + +'A poor one enough,' said Rokesmith. + +'Pardon me,' returned Mrs Wilfer, 'the merits of Mr Boffin may be +highly distinguished--may be more distinguished than the +countenance of Mrs Boffin would imply--but it were the insanity of +humility to deem him worthy of a better assistant.' + +'You are very good. I have also been telling Miss Wilfer that she is +expected very shortly at the new residence in town.' + +'Having tacitly consented,' said Mrs Wilfer, with a grand shrug of +her shoulders, and another wave of her gloves, 'to my child's +acceptance of the proffered attentions of Mrs Boffin, I interpose no +objection.' + +Here Miss Bella offered the remonstrance: 'Don't talk nonsense, +ma, please.' + +'Peace!' said Mrs Wilfer. + +'No, ma, I am not going to be made so absurd. Interposing +objections!' + +'I say,' repeated Mrs Wilfer, with a vast access of grandeur, 'that I +am NOT going to interpose objections. If Mrs Boffin (to whose +countenance no disciple of Lavater could possibly for a single +moment subscribe),' with a shiver, 'seeks to illuminate her new +residence in town with the attractions of a child of mine, I am +content that she should be favoured by the company of a child of +mine.' + +'You use the word, ma'am, I have myself used,' said Rokesmith, +with a glance at Bella, 'when you speak of Miss Wilfer's attractions +there.' + +'Pardon me,' returned Mrs Wilfer, with dreadful solemnity, 'but I +had not finished.' + +'Pray excuse me.' + +'I was about to say,' pursued Mrs Wilfer, who clearly had not had +the faintest idea of saying anything more: 'that when I use the term +attractions, I do so with the qualification that I do not mean it in +any way whatever.' + +The excellent lady delivered this luminous elucidation of her views +with an air of greatly obliging her hearers, and greatly +distinguishing herself. Whereat Miss Bella laughed a scornful +little laugh and said: + +'Quite enough about this, I am sure, on all sides. Have the +goodness, Mr Rokesmith, to give my love to Mrs Boffin--' + +'Pardon me!' cried Mrs Wilfer. 'Compliments.' + +'Love!' repeated Bella, with a little stamp of her foot. + +'No!' said Mrs Wilfer, monotonously. 'Compliments.' + +('Say Miss Wilfer's love, and Mrs Wilfer's compliments,' the +Secretary proposed, as a compromise.) + +'And I shall be very glad to come when she is ready for me. The +sooner, the better.' + +'One last word, Bella,' said Mrs Wilfer, 'before descending to the +family apartment. I trust that as a child of mine you will ever be +sensible that it will be graceful in you, when associating with Mr +and Mrs Boffin upon equal terms, to remember that the Secretary, +Mr Rokesmith, as your father's lodger, has a claim on your good +word.' + +The condescension with which Mrs Wilfer delivered this +proclamation of patronage, was as wonderful as the swiftness with +which the lodger had lost caste in the Secretary. He smiled as the +mother retired down stairs; but his face fell, as the daughter +followed. + +'So insolent, so trivial, so capricious, so mercenary, so careless, so +hard to touch, so hard to turn!' he said, bitterly. + +And added as he went upstairs. 'And yet so pretty, so pretty!' + +And added presently, as he walked to and fro in his room. 'And if +she knew!' + +She knew that he was shaking the house by his walking to and fro; +and she declared it another of the miseries of being poor, that you +couldn't get rid of a haunting Secretary, stump--stump--stumping +overhead in the dark, like a Ghost. + + + +Chapter 17 + +A DISMAL SWAMP + + +And now, in the blooming summer days, behold Mr and Mrs +Boffin established in the eminently aristocratic family mansion, +and behold all manner of crawling, creeping, fluttering, and +buzzing creatures, attracted by the gold dust of the Golden +Dustman! + +Foremost among those leaving cards at the eminently aristocratic +door before it is quite painted, are the Veneerings: out of breath, +one might imagine, from the impetuosity of their rush to the +eminently aristocratic steps. One copper-plate Mrs Veneering, +two copper-plate Mr Veneerings, and a connubial copper-plate Mr +and Mrs Veneering, requesting the honour of Mr and Mrs Boffin's +company at dinner with the utmost Analytical solemnities. The +enchanting Lady Tippins leaves a card. Twemlow leaves cards. A +tall custard-coloured phaeton tooling up in a solemn manner leaves +four cards, to wit, a couple of Mr Podsnaps, a Mrs Podsnap, and a +Miss Podsnap. All the world and his wife and daughter leave +cards. Sometimes the world's wife has so many daughters, that her +card reads rather like a Miscellaneous Lot at an Auction; +comprising Mrs Tapkins, Miss Tapkins, Miss Frederica Tapkins, +Miss Antonina Tapkins, Miss Malvina Tapkins, and Miss +Euphemia Tapkins; at the same time, the same lady leaves the card +of Mrs Henry George Alfred Swoshle, NEE Tapkins; also, a card, +Mrs Tapkins at Home, Wednesdays, Music, Portland Place. + +Miss Bella Wilfer becomes an inmate, for an indefinite period, of +the eminently aristocratic dwelling. Mrs Boffin bears Miss Bella +away to her Milliner's and Dressmaker's, and she gets beautifully +dressed. The Veneerings find with swift remorse that they have +omitted to invite Miss Bella Wilfer. One Mrs Veneering and one +Mr and Mrs Veneering requesting that additional honour, instantly +do penance in white cardboard on the hall table. Mrs Tapkins +likewise discovers her omission, and with promptitude repairs it; +for herself; for Miss Tapkins, for Miss Frederica Tapkins, for Miss +Antonina Tapkins, for Miss Malvina Tapkins, and for Miss +Euphemia Tapkins. Likewise, for Mrs Henry George Alfred +Swoshle NEE Tapkins. Likewise, for Mrs Tapkins at Home, +Wednesdays, Music, Portland Place. + +Tradesmen's books hunger, and tradesmen's mouths water, for the +gold dust of the Golden Dustman. As Mrs Boffin and Miss Wilfer +drive out, or as Mr Boffin walks out at his jog-trot pace, the +fishmonger pulls off his hat with an air of reverence founded on +conviction. His men cleanse their fingers on their woollen aprons +before presuming to touch their foreheads to Mr Boffin or Lady. +The gaping salmon and the golden mullet lying on the slab seem to +turn up their eyes sideways, as they would turn up their hands if +they had any, in worshipping admiration. The butcher, though a +portly and a prosperous man, doesn't know what to do with +himself; so anxious is he to express humility when discovered by +the passing Boffins taking the air in a mutton grove. Presents are +made to the Boffin servants, and bland strangers with business- +cards meeting said servants in the street, offer hypothetical +corruption. As, 'Supposing I was to be favoured with an order +from Mr Boffin, my dear friend, it would be worth my while'--to do +a certain thing that I hope might not prove wholly disagreeable to +your feelings. + +But no one knows so well as the Secretary, who opens and reads +the letters, what a set is made at the man marked by a stroke of +notoriety. Oh the varieties of dust for ocular use, offered in +exchange for the gold dust of the Golden Dustman! Fifty-seven +churches to be erected with half-crowns, forty-two parsonage +houses to be repaired with shillings, seven-and-twenty organs to be +built with halfpence, twelve hundred children to be brought up on +postage stamps. Not that a half-crown, shilling, halfpenny, or +postage stamp, would be particularly acceptable from Mr Boffin, +but that it is so obvious he is the man to make up the deficiency. +And then the charities, my Christian brother! And mostly in +difficulties, yet mostly lavish, too, in the expensive articles of print +and paper. Large fat private double letter, sealed with ducal +coronet. 'Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire. My Dear Sir,--Having +consented to preside at the forthcoming Annual Dinner of the +Family Party Fund, and feeling deeply impressed with the +immense usefulness of that noble Institution and the great +importance of its being supported by a List of Stewards that shall +prove to the public the interest taken in it by popular and +distinguished men, I have undertaken to ask you to become a +Steward on that occasion. Soliciting your favourable reply before +the 14th instant, I am, My Dear Sir, Your faithful Servant, +LINSEED. P.S. The Steward's fee is limited to three Guineas.' +Friendly this, on the part of the Duke of Linseed (and thoughtful in +the postscript), only lithographed by the hundred and presenting +but a pale individuality of an address to Nicodemus Boffin, +Esquire, in quite another hand. It takes two noble Earls and a +Viscount, combined, to inform Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire, in an +equally flattering manner, that an estimable lady in the West of +England has offered to present a purse containing twenty pounds, +to the Society for Granting Annuities to Unassuming Members of +the Middle Classes, if twenty individuals will previously present +purses of one hundred pounds each. And those benevolent +noblemen very kindly point out that if Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire, +should wish to present two or more purses, it will not be +inconsistent with the design of the estimable lady in the West of +England, provided each purse be coupled with the name of some +member of his honoured and respected family. + +These are the corporate beggars. But there are, besides, the +individual beggars; and how does the heart of the Secretary fail +him when he has to cope with THEM! And they must be coped +with to some extent, because they all enclose documents (they call +their scraps documents; but they are, as to papers deserving the +name, what minced veal is to a calf), the non-return of which +would be their ruin. That is say, they are utterly ruined now, but +they would be more utterly ruined then. Among these +correspondents are several daughters of general officers, long +accustomed to every luxury of life (except spelling), who little +thought, when their gallant fathers waged war in the Peninsula, +that they would ever have to appeal to those whom Providence, in +its inscrutable wisdom, has blessed with untold gold, and from +among whom they select the name of Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire, +for a maiden effort in this wise, understanding that he has such a +heart as never was. The Secretary learns, too, that confidence +between man and wife would seem to obtain but rarely when virtue +is in distress, so numerous are the wives who take up their pens to +ask Mr Boffin for money without the knowledge of their devoted +husbands, who would never permit it; while, on the other hand, so +numerous are the husbands who take up their pens to ask Mr +Boffin for money without the knowledge of their devoted wives, +who would instantly go out of their senses if they had the least +suspicion of the circumstance. There are the inspired beggars, too. +These were sitting, only yesterday evening, musing over a fragment +of candle which must soon go out and leave them in the dark for +the rest of their nights, when surely some Angel whispered the +name of Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire, to their souls, imparting rays +of hope, nay confidence, to which they had long been strangers! +Akin to these are the suggestively-befriended beggars. They were +partaking of a cold potato and water by the flickering and gloomy +light of a lucifer-match, in their lodgings (rent considerably in +arrear, and heartless landlady threatening expulsion 'like a dog' +into the streets), when a gifted friend happening to look in, said, +'Write immediately to Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire,' and would take +no denial. There are the nobly independent beggars too. These, in +the days of their abundance, ever regarded gold as dross, and have +not yet got over that only impediment in the way of their amassing +wealth, but they want no dross from Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire; +No, Mr Boffin; the world may term it pride, paltry pride if you will, +but they wouldn't take it if you offered it; a loan, sir--for fourteen +weeks to the day, interest calculated at the rate of five per cent per +annum, to be bestowed upon any charitable institution you may +name--is all they want of you, and if you have the meanness to +refuse it, count on being despised by these great spirits. There are +the beggars of punctual business-habits too. These will make an +end of themselves at a quarter to one P.M. on Tuesday, if no Post- +office order is in the interim received from Nicodemus Boffin, +Esquire; arriving after a quarter to one P.M. on Tuesday, it need +not be sent, as they will then (having made an exact memorandum +of the heartless circumstances) be 'cold in death.' There are the +beggars on horseback too, in another sense from the sense of the +proverb. These are mounted and ready to start on the highway to +affluence. The goal is before them, the road is in the best +condition, their spurs are on, the steed is willing, but, at the last +moment, for want of some special thing--a clock, a violin, an +astronomical telescope, an electrifying machine--they must +dismount for ever, unless they receive its equivalent in money from +Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire. Less given to detail are the beggars +who make sporting ventures. These, usually to be addressed in +reply under initials at a country post-office, inquire in feminine +hands, Dare one who cannot disclose herself to Nicodemus Boffin, +Esquire, but whose name might startle him were it revealed, solicit +the immediate advance of two hundred pounds from unexpected +riches exercising their noblest privilege in the trust of a common +humanity? + +In such a Dismal Swamp does the new house stand, and through it +does the Secretary daily struggle breast-high. Not to mention all +the people alive who have made inventions that won't act, and all +the jobbers who job in all the jobberies jobbed; though these may +be regarded as the Alligators of the Dismal Swamp, and are +always lying by to drag the Golden Dustman under. + +But the old house. There are no designs against the Golden +Dustman there? There are no fish of the shark tribe in the Bower +waters? Perhaps not. Still, Wegg is established there, and would +seem, judged by his secret proceedings, to cherish a notion of +making a discovery. For, when a man with a wooden leg lies +prone on his stomach to peep under bedsteads; and hops up +ladders, like some extinct bird, to survey the tops of presses and +cupboards; and provides himself an iron rod which he is always +poking and prodding into dust-mounds; the probability is that he +expects to find something. + + + +BOOK THE SECOND + +BIRDS OF A FEATHER + + + +Chapter 1 + +OF AN EDUCATIONAL CHARACTER + + +The school at which young Charley Hexam had first learned from +a book--the streets being, for pupils of his degree, the great +Preparatory Establishment in which very much that is never +unlearned is learned without and before book--was a miserable +loft in an unsavoury yard. Its atmosphere was oppressive and +disagreeable; it was crowded, noisy, and confusing; half the pupils +dropped asleep, or fell into a state of waking stupefaction; the +other half kept them in either condition by maintaining a +monotonous droning noise, as if they were performing, out of time +and tune, on a ruder sort of bagpipe. The teachers, animated +solely by good intentions, had no idea of execution, and a +lamentable jumble was the upshot of their kind endeavours. + +It was a school for all ages, and for both sexes. The latter were +kept apart, and the former were partitioned off into square +assortments. But, all the place was pervaded by a grimly +ludicrous pretence that every pupil was childish and innocent. +This pretence, much favoured by the lady-visitors, led to the +ghastliest absurdities. Young women old in the vices of the +commonest and worst life, were expected to profess themselves +enthralled by the good child's book, the Adventures of Little +Margery, who resided in the village cottage by the mill; severely +reproved and morally squashed the miller, when she was five and +he was fifty; divided her porridge with singing birds; denied +herself a new nankeen bonnet, on the ground that the turnips did +not wear nankeen bonnets, neither did the sheep who ate them; +who plaited straw and delivered the dreariest orations to all +comers, at all sorts of unseasonable times. So, unwieldy young +dredgers and hulking mudlarks were referred to the experiences of +Thomas Twopence, who, having resolved not to rob (under +circumstances of uncommon atrocity) his particular friend and +benefactor, of eighteenpence, presently came into supernatural +possession of three and sixpence, and lived a shining light ever +afterwards. (Note, that the benefactor came to no good.) Several +swaggering sinners had written their own biographies in the same +strain; it always appearing from the lessons of those very boastful +persons, that you were to do good, not because it WAS good, but +because you were to make a good thing of it. Contrariwise, the +adult pupils were taught to read (if they could learn) out of the +New Testament; and by dint of stumbling over the syllables and +keeping their bewildered eyes on the particular syllables coming +round to their turn, were as absolutely ignorant of the sublime +history, as if they had never seen or heard of it. An exceedingly +and confoundingly perplexing jumble of a school, in fact, where +black spirits and grey, red spirits and white, jumbled jumbled +jumbled jumbled, jumbled every night. And particularly every +Sunday night. For then, an inclined plane of unfortunate infants +would be handed over to the prosiest and worst of all the teachers +with good intentions, whom nobody older would endure. Who, +taking his stand on the floor before them as chief executioner, +would be attended by a conventional volunteer boy as +executioner's assistant. When and where it first became the +conventional system that a weary or inattentive infant in a class +must have its face smoothed downward with a hot hand, or when +and where the conventional volunteer boy first beheld such +system in operation, and became inflamed with a sacred zeal to +administer it, matters not. It was the function of the chief +executioner to hold forth, and it was the function of the acolyte to +dart at sleeping infants, yawning infants, restless infants, +whimpering infants, and smooth their wretched faces; sometimes +with one hand, as if he were anointing them for a whisker; +sometimes with both hands, applied after the fashion of blinkers. +And so the jumble would be in action in this department for a +mortal hour; the exponent drawling on to My Dearert +Childerrenerr, let us say, for example, about the beautiful coming +to the Sepulchre; and repeating the word Sepulchre (commonly +used among infants) five hundred times, and never once hinting +what it meant; the conventional boy smoothing away right and +left, as an infallible commentary; the whole hot-bed of flushed and +exhausted infants exchanging measles, rashes, whooping-cough, +fever, and stomach disorders, as if they were assembled in High +Market for the purpose. + +Even in this temple of good intentions, an exceptionally sharp boy +exceptionally determined to learn, could learn something, and, +having learned it, could impart it much better than the teachers; as +being more knowing than they, and not at the disadvantage in +which they stood towards the shrewder pupils. In this way it had +come about that Charley Hexam had risen in the jumble, taught in +the jumble, and been received from the jumble into a better +school. + +'So you want to go and see your sister, Hexam?' + +'If you please, Mr Headstone.' + +'I have half a mind to go with you. Where does your sister live?' + +'Why, she is not settled yet, Mr Headstone. I'd rather you didn't +see her till she is settled, if it was all the same to you.' + +'Look here, Hexam.' Mr Bradley Headstone, highly certificated +stipendiary schoolmaster, drew his right forefinger through one of +the buttonholes of the boy's coat, and looked at it attentively. 'I +hope your sister may be good company for you?' + +'Why do you doubt it, Mr Headstone?' + +'I did not say I doubted it.' + +'No, sir; you didn't say so.' + +Bradley Headstone looked at his finger again, took it out of the +buttonhole and looked at it closer, bit the side of it and looked at it +again. + +'You see, Hexam, you will be one of us. In good time you are sure +to pass a creditable examination and become one of us. Then the +question is--' + +The boy waited so long for the question, while the schoolmaster +looked at a new side of his finger, and bit it, and looked at it again, +that at length the boy repeated: + +'The question is, sir--?' + +'Whether you had not better leave well alone.' + +'Is it well to leave my sister alone, Mr Headstone?' + +'I do not say so, because I do not know. I put it to you. I ask you +to think of it. I want you to consider. You know how well you +are doing here.' + +'After all, she got me here,' said the boy, with a struggle. + +'Perceiving the necessity of it,' acquiesced the schoolmaster, 'and +making up her mind fully to the separation. Yes.' + +The boy, with a return of that former reluctance or struggle or +whatever it was, seemed to debate with himself. At length he +said, raising his eyes to the master's face: + +'I wish you'd come with me and see her, Mr Headstone, though +she is not settled. I wish you'd come with me, and take her in the +rough, and judge her for yourself.' + +'You are sure you would not like,' asked the schoolmaster, 'to +prepare her?' + +'My sister Lizzie,' said the boy, proudly, 'wants no preparing, Mr +Headstone. What she is, she is, and shows herself to be. There's +no pretending about my sister.' + +His confidence in her, sat more easily upon him than the +indecision with which he had twice contended. It was his better +nature to be true to her, if it were his worse nature to be wholly +selfish. And as yet the better nature had the stronger hold. + +'Well, I can spare the evening,' said the schoolmaster. 'I am ready +to walk with you.' + +'Thank you, Mr Headstone. And I am ready to go.' + +Bradley Headstone, in his decent black coat and waistcoat, and +decent white shirt, and decent formal black tie, and decent +pantaloons of pepper and salt, with his decent silver watch in his +pocket and its decent hair-guard round his neck, looked a +thoroughly decent young man of six-and-twenty. He was never +seen in any other dress, and yet there was a certain stiffness in his +manner of wearing this, as if there were a want of adaptation +between him and it, recalling some mechanics in their holiday +clothes. He had acquired mechanically a great store of teacher's +knowledge. He could do mental arithmetic mechanically, sing at +sight mechanically, blow various wind instruments mechanically, +even play the great church organ mechanically. From his early +childhood up, his mind had been a place of mechanical stowage. +The arrangement of his wholesale warehouse, so that it might be +always ready to meet the demands of retail dealers history here, +geography there, astronomy to the right, political economy to the +left--natural history, the physical sciences, figures, music, the +lower mathematics, and what not, all in their several places--this +care had imparted to his countenance a look of care; while the +habit of questioning and being questioned had given him a +suspicious manner, or a manner that would be better described as +one of lying in wait. There was a kind of settled trouble in the +face. It was the face belonging to a naturally slow or inattentive +intellect that had toiled hard to get what it had won, and that had +to hold it now that it was gotten. He always seemed to be uneasy +lest anything should be missing from his mental warehouse, and +taking stock to assure himself. + +Suppression of so much to make room for so much, had given him +a constrained manner, over and above. Yet there was enough of +what was animal, and of what was fiery (though smouldering), still +visible in him, to suggest that if young Bradley Headstone, when a +pauper lad, had chanced to be told off for the sea, he would not +have been the last man in a ship's crew. Regarding that origin of +his, he was proud, moody, and sullen, desiring it to be forgotten. +And few people knew of it. + +In some visits to the Jumble his attention had been attracted to this +boy Hexam. An undeniable boy for a pupil-teacher; an +undeniable boy to do credit to the master who should bring him +on. Combined with this consideration, there may have been some +thought of the pauper lad now never to be mentioned. Be that +how it might, he had with pains gradually worked the boy into his +own school, and procured him some offices to discharge there, +which were repaid with food and lodging. Such were the +circumstances that had brought together, Bradley Headstone and +young Charley Hexam that autumn evening. Autumn, because +full half a year had come and gone since the bird of prey lay dead +upon the river-shore. + +The schools--for they were twofold, as the sexes--were down in +that district of the flat country tending to the Thames, where Kent +and Surrey meet, and where the railways still bestride the market- +gardens that will soon die under them. The schools were newly +built, and there were so many like them all over the country, that +one might have thought the whole were but one restless edifice +with the locomotive gift of Aladdin's palace. They were in a +neighbourhood which looked like a toy neighbourhood taken in +blocks out of a box by a child of particularly incoherent mind, and +set up anyhow; here, one side of a new street; there, a large +solitary public-house facing nowhere; here, another unfinished +street already in ruins; there, a church; here, an immense new +warehouse; there, a dilapidated old country villa; then, a medley +of black ditch, sparkling cucumber-frame, rank field, richly +cultivated kitchen-garden, brick viaduct, arch-spanned canal, and +disorder of frowziness and fog. As if the child had given the table +a kick, and gone to sleep. + +But, even among school-buildings, school-teachers, and school- +pupils, all according to pattern and all engendered in the light of +the latest Gospel according to Monotony, the older pattern into +which so many fortunes have been shaped for good and evil, +comes out. It came out in Miss Peecher the schoolmistress, +watering her flowers, as Mr Bradley Headstone walked forth. It +came out in Miss Peecher the schoolmistress, watering the flowers +in the little dusty bit of garden attached to her small official +residence, with little windows like the eyes in needles, and little +doors like the covers of school-books. + +Small, shining, neat, methodical, and buxom was Miss Peecher; +cherry-cheeked and tuneful of voice. A little pincushion, a little +housewife, a little book, a little workbox, a little set of tables and +weights and measures, and a little woman, all in one. She could +write a little essay on any subject, exactly a slate long, beginning +at the left-hand top of one side and ending at the right-hand +bottom of the other, and the essay should be strictly according to +rule. If Mr Bradley Headstone had addressed a written proposal +of marriage to her, she would probably have replied in a complete +little essay on the theme exactly a slate long, but would certainly +have replied Yes. For she loved him. The decent hair-guard that +went round his neck and took care of his decent silver watch was +an object of envy to her. So would Miss Peecher have gone round +his neck and taken care of him. Of him, insensible. Because he +did not love Miss Peecher. + +Miss Peecher's favourite pupil, who assisted her in her little +household, was in attendance with a can of water to replenish her +little watering-pot, and sufficiently divined the state of Miss +Peecher's affections to feel it necessary that she herself should +love young Charley Hexam. So, there was a double palpitation +among the double stocks and double wall-flowers, when the +master and the boy looked over the little gate. + +'A fine evening, Miss Peecher,' said the Master. + +'A very fine evening, Mr Headstone,' said Miss Peecher. 'Are you +taking a walk?' + +'Hexam and I are going to take a long walk.' + +'Charming weather,' remarked Miss Peecher, FOR a long walk.' + +'Ours is rather on business than mere pleasure,' said the Master. +Miss Peecher inverting her watering-pot, and very carefully +shaking out the few last drops over a flower, as if there were some +special virtue in them which would make it a Jack's beanstalk +before morning, called for replenishment to her pupil, who had +been speaking to the boy. + +'Good-night, Miss Peecher,' said the Master. + +'Good-night, Mr Headstone,' said the Mistress. + +The pupil had been, in her state of pupilage, so imbued with the +class-custom of stretching out an arm, as if to hail a cab or +omnibus, whenever she found she had an observation on hand to +offer to Miss Peecher, that she often did it in their domestic +relations; and she did it now. + +'Well, Mary Anne?' said Miss Peecher. + +'If you please, ma'am, Hexam said they were going to see his +sister.' + +'But that can't be, I think,' returned Miss Peecher: 'because Mr +Headstone can have no business with HER.' + +Mary Anne again hailed. + +'Well, Mary Anne?' + +'If you please, ma'am, perhaps it's Hexam's business?' + +'That may be,' said Miss Peecher. 'I didn't think of that. Not that +it matters at all.' + +Mary Anne again hailed. + +'Well, Mary Anne?' + +'They say she's very handsome.' + +'Oh, Mary Anne, Mary Anne!' returned Miss Peecher, slightly +colouring and shaking her head, a little out of humour; 'how often +have I told you not to use that vague expression, not to speak in +that general way? When you say THEY say, what do you mean? +Part of speech They?' + +Mary Anne hooked her right arm behind her in her left hand, as +being under examination, and replied: + +'Personal pronoun.' + +'Person, They?' + +'Third person.' + +'Number, They?' + +'Plural number.' + +'Then how many do you mean, Mary Anne? Two? Or more?' + +'I beg your pardon, ma'am,' said Mary Anne, disconcerted now she +came to think of it; 'but I don't know that I mean more than her +brother himself.' As she said it, she unhooked her arm. + +'I felt convinced of it,' returned Miss Peecher, smiling again. 'Now +pray, Mary Anne, be careful another time. He says is very +different from they say, remember. Difference between he says +and they say? Give it me.' + +Mary Anne immediately hooked her right arm behind her in her +left hand--an attitude absolutely necessary to the situation--and +replied: 'One is indicative mood, present tense, third person +singular, verb active to say. Other is indicative mood, present +tense, third person plural, verb active to say.' + +'Why verb active, Mary Anne?' + +'Because it takes a pronoun after it in the objective case, Miss +Peecher.' + +'Very good indeed,' remarked Miss Peecher, with encouragement. +'In fact, could not be better. Don't forget to apply it, another time, +Mary Anne.' This said, Miss Peecher finished the watering of her +flowers, and went into her little official residence, and took a +refresher of the principal rivers and mountains of the world, their +breadths, depths, and heights, before settling the measurements of +the body of a dress for her own personal occupation. + +Bradley Headstone and Charley Hexam duly got to the Surrey +side of Westminster Bridge, and crossed the bridge, and made +along the Middlesex shore towards Millbank. In this region are a +certain little street called Church Street, and a certain little blind +square, called Smith Square, in the centre of which last retreat is a +very hideous church with four towers at the four corners, +generally resembling some petrified monster, frightful and +gigantic, on its back with its legs in the air. They found a tree near +by in a corner, and a blacksmith's forge, and a timber yard, and a +dealer's in old iron. What a rusty portion of a boiler and a great +iron wheel or so meant by lying half-buried in the dealer's fore- +court, nobody seemed to know or to want to know. Like the +Miller of questionable jollity in the song, They cared for Nobody, +no not they, and Nobody cared for them. + +After making the round of this place, and noting that there was a +deadly kind of repose on it, more as though it had taken laudanum +than fallen into a natural rest, they stopped at the point where the +street and the square joined, and where there were some little +quiet houses in a row. To these Charley Hexam finally led the +way, and at one of these stopped. + +'This must be where my sister lives, sir. This is where she came +for a temporary lodging, soon after father's death.' + +'How often have you seen her since?' + +'Why, only twice, sir,' returned the boy, with his former +reluctance; 'but that's as much her doing as mine.' + +'How does she support herself?' + +'She was always a fair needlewoman, and she keeps the stockroom +of a seaman's outfitter.' + +'Does she ever work at her own lodging here?' + +'Sometimes; but her regular hours and regular occupation are at +their place of business, I believe, sir. This is the number.' + +The boy knocked at a door, and the door promptly opened with a +spring and a click. A parlour door within a small entry stood +open, and disclosed a child--a dwarf--a girl--a something--sitting +on a little low old-fashioned arm-chair, which had a kind of little +working bench before it. + +'I can't get up,' said the child, 'because my back's bad, and my legs +are queer. But I'm the person of the house.' + +'Who else is at home?' asked Charley Hexam, staring. + +'Nobody's at home at present,' returned the child, with a glib +assertion of her dignity, 'except the person of the house. What did +you want, young man?' + +'I wanted to see my sister.' + +'Many young men have sisters,' returned the child. 'Give me your +name, young man?' + +The queer little figure, and the queer but not ugly little face, with +its bright grey eyes, were so sharp, that the sharpness of the +manner seemed unavoidable. As if, being turned out of that +mould, it must be sharp. + +'Hexam is my name.' + +'Ah, indeed?' said the person of the house. 'I thought it might be. +Your sister will be in, in about a quarter of an hour. I am very +fond of your sister. She's my particular friend. Take a seat. And +this gentleman's name?' + +'Mr Headstone, my schoolmaster.' + +'Take a seat. And would you please to shut the street door first? I +can't very well do it myself; because my back's so bad, and my +legs are so queer.' + +They complied in silence, and the little figure went on with its +work of gumming or gluing together with a camel's-hair brush +certain pieces of cardboard and thin wood, previously cut into +various shapes. The scissors and knives upon the bench showed +that the child herself had cut them; and the bright scraps of velvet +and silk and ribbon also strewn upon the bench showed that when +duly stuffed (and stuffing too was there), she was to cover them +smartly. The dexterity of her nimble fingers was remarkable, and, +as she brought two thin edges accurately together by giving them a +little bite, she would glance at the visitors out of the corners of her +grey eyes with a look that out-sharpened all her other sharpness. + +'You can't tell me the name of my trade, I'll be bound,' she said, +after taking several of these observations. + +'You make pincushions,' said Charley. + +'What else do I make?' + +'Pen-wipers,' said Bradley Headstone. + +'Ha! ha! What else do I make? You're a schoolmaster, but you +can't tell me.' + +'You do something,' he returned, pointing to a corner of the little +bench, 'with straw; but I don't know what.' + +'Well done you!' cried the person of the house. 'I only make +pincushions and pen-wipers, to use up my waste. But my straw +really does belong to my business. Try again. What do I make +with my straw?' + +'Dinner-mats?' + +'A schoolmaster, and says dinner-mats! I'll give you a clue to my +trade, in a game of forfeits. I love my love with a B because she's +Beautiful; I hate my love with a B because she is Brazen; I took +her to the sign of the Blue Boar, and I treated her with Bonnets; +her name's Bouncer, and she lives in Bedlam.--Now, what do I +make with my straw?' + +'Ladies' bonnets?' + +'Fine ladies',' said the person of the house, nodding assent. 'Dolls'. +I'm a Doll's Dressmaker.' + +'I hope it's a good business?' + +The person of the house shrugged her shoulders and shook her +head. 'No. Poorly paid. And I'm often so pressed for time! I had +a doll married, last week, and was obliged to work all night. And +it's not good for me, on account of my back being so bad and my +legs so queer.' + +They looked at the little creature with a wonder that did not +diminish, and the schoolmaster said: 'I am sorry your fine ladies +are so inconsiderate.' + +'It's the way with them,' said the person of the house, shrugging +her shoulders again. 'And they take no care of their clothes, and +they never keep to the same fashions a month. I work for a doll +with three daughters. Bless you, she's enough to ruin her +husband!' The person of the house gave a weird little laugh here, +and gave them another look out of the corners of her eyes. She +had an elfin chin that was capable of great expression; and +whenever she gave this look, she hitched this chin up. As if her +eyes and her chin worked together on the same wires. + +'Are you always as busy as you are now?' + +'Busier. I'm slack just now. I finished a large mourning order the +day before yesterday. Doll I work for, lost a canary-bird.' The +person of the house gave another little laugh, and then nodded her +head several times, as who should moralize, 'Oh this world, this +world!' + +'Are you alone all day?' asked Bradley Headstone. 'Don't any of +the neighbouring children--?' + +'Ah, lud!' cried the person of the house, with a little scream, as if +the word had pricked her. 'Don't talk of children. I can't bear +children. I know their tricks and their manners.' She said this with +an angry little shake of her tight fist close before her eyes. + +Perhaps it scarcely required the teacher-habit, to perceive that the +doll's dressmaker was inclined to be bitter on the difference +between herself and other children. But both master and pupil +understood it so. + +'Always running about and screeching, always playing and +fighting, always skip-skip-skipping on the pavement and chalking +it for their games! Oh! I know their tricks and their manners!' +Shaking the little fist as before. 'And that's not all. Ever so often +calling names in through a person's keyhole, and imitating a +person's back and legs. Oh! I know their tricks and their manners. +And I'll tell you what I'd do, to punish 'em. There's doors under +the church in the Square--black doors, leading into black vaults. +Well! I'd open one of those doors, and I'd cram 'em all in, and +then I'd lock the door and through the keyhole I'd blow in pepper.' + +'What would be the good of blowing in pepper?' asked Charley +Hexam. + +'To set 'em sneezing,' said the person of the house, 'and make their +eyes water. And when they were all sneezing and inflamed, I'd +mock 'em through the keyhole. Just as they, with their tricks and +their manners, mock a person through a person's keyhole!' + +An uncommonly emphatic shake of her little fist close before her +eyes, seemed to ease the mind of the person of the house; for she +added with recovered composure, 'No, no, no. No children for +me. Give me grown-ups.' + +It was difficult to guess the age of this strange creature, for her +poor figure furnished no clue to it, and her face was at once so +young and so old. Twelve, or at the most thirteen, might be near +the mark. + +'I always did like grown-ups,' she went on, 'and always kept +company with them. So sensible. Sit so quiet. Don't go prancing +and capering about! And I mean always to keep among none but +grown-ups till I marry. I suppose I must make up my mind to +marry, one of these days.' + +She listened to a step outside that caught her ear, and there was a +soft knock at the door. Pulling at a handle within her reach, she +said, with a pleased laugh: 'Now here, for instance, is a grown-up +that's my particular friend!' and Lizzie Hexam in a black dress +entered the room. + +'Charley! You!' + +Taking him to her arms in the old way--of which he seemed a little +ashamed--she saw no one else. + +'There, there, there, Liz, all right my dear. See! Here's Mr +Headstone come with me.' + +Her eyes met those of the schoolmaster, who had evidently +expected to see a very different sort of person, and a murmured +word or two of salutation passed between them. She was a little +flurried by the unexpected visit, and the schoolmaster was not at +his ease. But he never was, quite. + +'I told Mr Headstone you were not settled, Liz, but he was so kind +as to take an interest in coming, and so I brought him. How well +you look!' + +Bradley seemed to think so. + +'Ah! Don't she, don't she?' cried the person of the house, resuming +her occupation, though the twilight was falling fast. 'I believe you +she does! But go on with your chat, one and all: + + You one two three, + My com-pa-nie, + And don't mind me.' + +--pointing this impromptu rhyme with three points of her thin fore- +finger. + +'I didn't expect a visit from you, Charley,' said his sister. 'I +supposed that if you wanted to see me you would have sent to me, +appointing me to come somewhere near the school, as I did last +time. I saw my brother near the school, sir,' to Bradley +Headstone, 'because it's easier for me to go there, than for him to +come here. I work about midway between the two places.' + +'You don't see much of one another,' said Bradley, not improving +in respect of ease. + +'No.' With a rather sad shake of her head. 'Charley always does +well, Mr Headstone?' + +'He could not do better. I regard his course as quite plain before +him.' + +'I hoped so. I am so thankful. So well done of you, Charley dear! +It is better for me not to come (except when he wants me) +between him and his prospects. You think so, Mr Headstone?' + +Conscious that his pupil-teacher was looking for his answer, that +he himself had suggested the boy's keeping aloof from this sister, +now seen for the first time face to face, Bradley Headstone +stammered: + +'Your brother is very much occupied, you know. He has to work +hard. One cannot but say that the less his attention is diverted +from his work, the better for his future. When he shall have +established himself, why then--it will be another thing then.' + +Lizzie shook her head again, and returned, with a quiet smile: 'I +always advised him as you advise him. Did I not, Charley?' + +'Well, never mind that now,' said the boy. 'How are you getting +on?' + +'Very well, Charley. I want for nothing.' + +'You have your own room here?' + +'Oh yes. Upstairs. And it's quiet, and pleasant, and airy.' + +'And she always has the use of this room for visitors,' said the +person of the house, screwing up one of her little bony fists, like +an opera-glass, and looking through it, with her eyes and her chin +in that quaint accordance. 'Always this room for visitors; haven't +you, Lizzie dear?' + +It happened that Bradley Headstone noticed a very slight action of +Lizzie Hexam's hand, as though it checked the doll's dressmaker. +And it happened that the latter noticed him in the same instant; for +she made a double eyeglass of her two hands, looked at him +through it, and cried, with a waggish shake of her head: 'Aha! +Caught you spying, did I?' + +It might have fallen out so, any way; but Bradley Headstone also +noticed that immediately after this, Lizzie, who had not taken off +her bonnet, rather hurriedly proposed that as the room was getting +dark they should go out into the air. They went out; the visitors +saying good-night to the doll's dressmaker, whom they left, leaning +back in her chair with her arms crossed, singing to herself in a +sweet thoughtful little voice. + +'I'll saunter on by the river,' said Bradley. 'You will be glad to talk +together.' + +As his uneasy figure went on before them among the evening +shadows, the boy said to his sister, petulantly: + +'When are you going to settle yourself in some Christian sort of +place, Liz? I thought you were going to do it before now.' + +'I am very well where I am, Charley.' + +'Very well where you are! I am ashamed to have brought Mr +Headstone with me. How came you to get into such company as +that little witch's?' + +'By chance at first, as it seemed, Charley. But I think it must have +been by something more than chance, for that child--You +remember the bills upon the walls at home?' + +'Confound the bills upon the walls at home! I want to forget the +bills upon the walls at home, and it would be better for you to do +the same,' grumbled the boy. 'Well; what of them?' + +'This child is the grandchild of the old man.' + +'What old man?' + +'The terrible drunken old man, in the list slippers and the night- +cap.' + +The boy asked, rubbing his nose in a manner that half expressed +vexation at hearing so much, and half curiosity to hear more: 'How +came you to make that out? What a girl you are!' + +'The child's father is employed by the house that employs me; +that's how I came to know it, Charley. The father is like his own +father, a weak wretched trembling creature, falling to pieces, +never sober. But a good workman too, at the work he does. The +mother is dead. This poor ailing little creature has come to be +what she is, surrounded by drunken people from her cradle--if she +ever had one, Charley.' + +'I don't see what you have to do with her, for all that,' said the boy. + +'Don't you, Charley?' + +The boy looked doggedly at the river. They were at Millbank, and +the river rolled on their left. His sister gently touched him on the +shoulder, and pointed to it. + +'Any compensation--restitution--never mind the word, you know +my meaning. Father's grave.' + +But he did not respond with any tenderness. After a moody +silence he broke out in an ill-used tone: + +'It'll be a very hard thing, Liz, if, when I am trying my best to get +up in the world, you pull me back.' + +'I, Charley?' + +'Yes, you, Liz. Why can't you let bygones be bygones? Why can't +you, as Mr Headstone said to me this very evening about another +matter, leave well alone? What we have got to do, is, to turn our +faces full in our new direction, and keep straight on.' + +'And never look back? Not even to try to make some amends?' + +'You are such a dreamer,' said the boy, with his former petulance. +'It was all very well when we sat before the fire--when we looked +into the hollow down by the flare--but we are looking into the real +world, now.' + +'Ah, we were looking into the real world then, Charley!' + +'I understand what you mean by that, but you are not justified in +it. I don't want, as I raise myself to shake you off, Liz. I want to +carry you up with me. That's what I want to do, and mean to do. +I know what I owe you. I said to Mr Headstone this very evening, +"After all, my sister got me here." Well, then. Don't pull me +back, and hold me down. That's all I ask, and surely that's not +unconscionable.' + +She had kept a steadfast look upon him, and she answered with +composure: + +'I am not here selfishly, Charley. To please myself I could not be +too far from that river.' + +'Nor could you be too far from it to please me. Let us get quit of it +equally. Why should you linger about it any more than I? I give it +a wide berth.' + +'I can't get away from it, I think,' said Lizzie, passing her hand +across her forehead. 'It's no purpose of mine that I live by it still.' + +'There you go, Liz! Dreaming again! You lodge yourself of your +own accord in a house with a drunken--tailor, I suppose--or +something of the sort, and a little crooked antic of a child, or old +person, or whatever it is, and then you talk as if you were drawn +or driven there. Now, do be more practical.' + +She had been practical enough with him, in suffering and striving +for him; but she only laid her hand upon his shoulder--not +reproachfully--and tapped it twice or thrice. She had been used to +do so, to soothe him when she carried him about, a child as heavy +as herself. Tears started to his eyes. + +'Upon my word, Liz,' drawing the back of his hand across them, 'I +mean to be a good brother to you, and to prove that I know what I +owe you. All I say is, that I hope you'll control your fancies a +little, on my account. I'll get a school, and then you must come +and live with me, and you'll have to control your fancies then, so +why not now? Now, say I haven't vexed you.' + +'You haven't, Charley, you haven't.' + +'And say I haven't hurt you.' + +'You haven't, Charley.' But this answer was less ready. + +'Say you are sure I didn't mean to. Come! There's Mr Headstone +stopping and looking over the wall at the tide, to hint that it's time +to go. Kiss me, and tell me that you know I didn't mean to hurt +you.' + +She told him so, and they embraced, and walked on and came up +with the schoolmaster. + +'But we go your sister's way,' he remarked, when the boy told him +he was ready. And with his cumbrous and uneasy action he stiffly +offered her his arm. Her hand was just within it, when she drew it +back. He looked round with a start, as if he thought she had +detected something that repelled her, in the momentary touch. + +'I will not go in just yet,' said Lizzie. 'And you have a distance +before you, and will walk faster without me.' + +Being by this time close to Vauxhall Bridge, they resolved, in +consequence, to take that way over the Thames, and they left her; +Bradley Headstone giving her his hand at parting, and she +thanking him for his care of her brother. + +The master and the pupil walked on, rapidly and silently. They +had nearly crossed the bridge, when a gentleman came coolly +sauntering towards them, with a cigar in his mouth, his coat +thrown back, and his hands behind him. Something in the careless +manner of this person, and in a certain lazily arrogant air with +which he approached, holding possession of twice as much +pavement as another would have claimed, instantly caught the +boy's attention. As the gentleman passed the boy looked at him +narrowly, and then stood still, looking after him. + +'Who is it that you stare after?' asked Bradley. + +'Why!' said the boy, with a confused and pondering frown upon +his face, 'It IS that Wrayburn one!' + +Bradley Headstone scrutinized the boy as closely as the boy had +scrutinized the gentleman. + +'I beg your pardon, Mr Headstone, but I couldn't help wondering +what in the world brought HIM here!' + +Though he said it as if his wonder were past--at the same time +resuming the walk--it was not lost upon the master that he looked +over his shoulder after speaking, and that the same perplexed and +pondering frown was heavy on his face. + +'You don't appear to like your friend, Hexam?' + +'I DON'T like him,' said the boy. + +'Why not?' + +'He took hold of me by the chin in a precious impertinent way, the +first time I ever saw him,' said the boy. + +'Again, why?' + +'For nothing. Or--it's much the same--because something I +happened to say about my sister didn't happen to please him.' + +'Then he knows your sister?' + +'He didn't at that time,' said the boy, still moodily pondering. + +'Does now?' + +The boy had so lost himself that he looked at Mr Bradley +Headstone as they walked on side by side, without attempting to +reply until the question had been repeated; then he nodded and +answered, 'Yes, sir.' + +'Going to see her, I dare say.' + +'It can't be!' said the boy, quickly. 'He doesn't know her well +enough. I should like to catch him at it!' + +When they had walked on for a time, more rapidly than before, +the master said, clasping the pupil's arm between the elbow and +the shoulder with his hand: + +'You were going to tell me something about that person. What did +you say his name was?' + +'Wrayburn. Mr Eugene Wrayburn. He is what they call a +barrister, with nothing to do. The first time he came to our old +place was when my father was alive. He came on business; not +that it was HIS business--HE never had any business--he was +brought by a friend of his.' + +'And the other times?' + +'There was only one other time that I know of. When my father +was killed by accident, he chanced to be one of the finders. He +was mooning about, I suppose, taking liberties with people's chins; +but there he was, somehow. He brought the news home to my +sister early in the morning, and brought Miss Abbey Potterson, a +neighbour, to help break it to her. He was mooning about the +house when I was fetched home in the afternoon--they didn't +know where to find me till my sister could be brought round +sufficiently to tell them--and then he mooned away.' + +'And is that all?' + +'That's all, sir.' + +Bradley Headstone gradually released the boy's arm, as if he were +thoughtful, and they walked on side by side as before. After a +long silence between them, Bradley resumed the talk. + +'I suppose--your sister--' with a curious break both before and +after the words, 'has received hardly any teaching, Hexam?' + +'Hardly any, sir.' + +'Sacrificed, no doubt, to her father's objections. I remember them +in your case. Yet--your sister--scarcely looks or speaks like an +ignorant person.' + +'Lizzie has as much thought as the best, Mr Headstone. Too +much, perhaps, without teaching. I used to call the fire at home, +her books, for she was always full of fancies--sometimes quite +wise fancies, considering--when she sat looking at it.' + +'I don't like that,' said Bradley Headstone. + +His pupil was a little surprised by this striking in with so sudden +and decided and emotional an objection, but took it as a proof of +the master's interest in himself. It emboldened him to say: + +'I have never brought myself to mention it openly to you, Mr +Headstone, and you're my witness that I couldn't even make up +my mind to take it from you before we came out to-night; but it's a +painful thing to think that if I get on as well as you hope, I shall +be--I won't say disgraced, because I don't mean disgraced-but-- +rather put to the blush if it was known--by a sister who has been +very good to me.' + +'Yes,' said Bradley Headstone in a slurring way, for his mind +scarcely seemed to touch that point, so smoothly did it glide to +another, 'and there is this possibility to consider. Some man who +had worked his way might come to admire--your sister--and might +even in time bring himself to think of marrying--your sister--and it +would be a sad drawback and a heavy penalty upon him, if; +overcoming in his mind other inequalities of condition and other +considerations against it, this inequality and this consideration +remained in full force.' + +'That's much my own meaning, sir.' + +'Ay, ay,' said Bradley Headstone, 'but you spoke of a mere +brother. Now, the case I have supposed would be a much stronger +case; because an admirer, a husband, would form the connexion +voluntarily, besides being obliged to proclaim it: which a brother is +not. After all, you know, it must be said of you that you couldn't +help yourself: while it would be said of him, with equal reason, +that he could.' + +'That's true, sir. Sometimes since Lizzie was left free by father's +death, I have thought that such a young woman might soon +acquire more than enough to pass muster. And sometimes I have +even thought that perhaps Miss Peecher--' + +'For the purpose, I would advise Not Miss Peecher,' Bradley +Headstone struck in with a recurrence of his late decision of +manner. + +'Would you be so kind as to think of it for me, Mr Headstone?' + +'Yes, Hexam, yes. I'll think of it. I'll think maturely of it. I'll think +well of it.' + +Their walk was almost a silent one afterwards, until it ended at the +school-house. There, one of neat Miss Peecher's little windows, +like the eyes in needles, was illuminated, and in a corner near it +sat Mary Anne watching, while Miss Peecher at the table stitched +at the neat little body she was making up by brown paper pattern +for her own wearing. N.B. Miss Peecher and Miss Peecher's +pupils were not much encouraged in the unscholastic art of +needlework, by Government. + +Mary Anne with her face to the window, held her arm up. + +'Well, Mary Anne?' + +'Mr Headstone coming home, ma'am.' + +In about a minute, Mary Anne again hailed. + +'Yes, Mary Anne?' + +'Gone in and locked his door, ma'am.' + +Miss Peecher repressed a sigh as she gathered her work together +for bed, and transfixed that part of her dress where her heart +would have been if she had had the dress on, with a sharp, sharp +needle. + + + +Chapter 2 + +STILL EDUCATIONAL + + +The person of the house, doll's dressmaker and manufacturer of +ornamental pincushions and pen-wipers, sat in her quaint little low +arm-chair, singing in the dark, until Lizzie came back. The person +of the house had attained that dignity while yet of very tender +years indeed, through being the only trustworthy person IN the +house. + +'Well Lizzie-Mizzie-Wizzie,' said she, breaking off in her song. +'what's the news out of doors?' + +'What's the news in doors?' returned Lizzie, playfully smoothing +the bright long fair hair which grew very luxuriant and beautiful +on the head of the doll's dressmaker. + +'Let me see, said the blind man. Why the last news is, that I don't +mean to marry your brother.' + +'No?' + +'No-o,' shaking her head and her chin. 'Don't like the boy.' + +'What do you say to his master?' + +'I say that I think he's bespoke.' + +Lizzie finished putting the hair carefully back over the misshapen +shoulders, and then lighted a candle. It showed the little parlour +to be dingy, but orderly and clean. She stood it on the +mantelshelf, remote from the dressmaker's eyes, and then put the +room door open, and the house door open, and turned the little +low chair and its occupant towards the outer air. It was a sultry +night, and this was a fine-weather arrangement when the day's +work was done. To complete it, she seated herself in a chair by +the side of the little chair, and protectingly drew under her arm the +spare hand that crept up to her. + +'This is what your loving Jenny Wren calls the best time in the day +and night,' said the person of the house. Her real name was Fanny +Cleaver; but she had long ago chosen to bestow upon herself the +appellation of Miss Jenny Wren. + +'I have been thinking,' Jenny went on, 'as I sat at work to-day, +what a thing it would be, if I should be able to have your company +till I am married, or at least courted. Because when I am courted, +I shall make Him do some of the things that you do for me. He +couldn't brush my hair like you do, or help me up and down stairs +like you do, and he couldn't do anything like you do; but he could +take my work home, and he could call for orders in his clumsy +way. And he shall too. I'LL trot him about, I can tell him!' + +Jenny Wren had her personal vanities--happily for her--and no +intentions were stronger in her breast than the various trials and +torments that were, in the fulness of time, to be inflicted upon +'him.' + +'Wherever he may happen to be just at present, or whoever he +may happen to be,' said Miss Wren, 'I know his tricks and his +manners, and I give him warning to look out.' + +'Don't you think you are rather hard upon him?' asked her friend, +smiling, and smoothing her hair. + +'Not a bit,' replied the sage Miss Wren, with an air of vast +experience. 'My dear, they don't care for you, those fellows, if +you're NOT hard upon 'em. But I was saying If I should be able to +have your company. Ah! What a large If! Ain't it?' + +'I have no intention of parting company, Jenny.' + +'Don't say that, or you'll go directly.' + +'Am I so little to be relied upon?' + +'You're more to be relied upon than silver and gold.' As she said +it, Miss Wren suddenly broke off, screwed up her eyes and her +chin, and looked prodigiously knowing. 'Aha! + + Who comes here? + A Grenadier. + What does he want? + A pot of beer. + +And nothing else in the world, my dear!' + +A man's figure paused on the pavement at the outer door. 'Mr +Eugene Wrayburn, ain't it?' said Miss Wren. + +'So I am told,' was the answer. + +'You may come in, if you're good.' + +'I am not good,' said Eugene, 'but I'll come in.' + +He gave his hand to Jenny Wren, and he gave his hand to Lizzie, +and he stood leaning by the door at Lizzie's side. He had been +strolling with his cigar, he said, (it was smoked out and gone by +this time,) and he had strolled round to return in that direction that +he might look in as he passed. Had she not seen her brother to- +night? + +'Yes,' said Lizzie, whose manner was a little troubled. + +Gracious condescension on our brother's part! Mr Eugene +Wrayburn thought he had passed my young gentleman on the +bridge yonder. Who was his friend with him? + +'The schoolmaster.' + +'To be sure. Looked like it.' + +Lizzie sat so still, that one could not have said wherein the fact of +her manner being troubled was expressed; and yet one could not +have doubted it. Eugene was as easy as ever; but perhaps, as she +sat with her eyes cast down, it might have been rather more +perceptible that his attention was concentrated upon her for +certain moments, than its concentration upon any subject for any +short time ever was, elsewhere. + +'I have nothing to report, Lizzie,' said Eugene. 'But, having +promised you that an eye should be always kept on Mr Riderhood +through my friend Lightwood, I like occasionally to renew my +assurance that I keep my promise, and keep my friend up to the +mark.' + +'I should not have doubted it, sir.' + +'Generally, I confess myself a man to be doubted,' returned +Eugene, coolly, 'for all that.' + +'Why are you?' asked the sharp Miss Wren. + +'Because, my dear,' said the airy Eugene, 'I am a bad idle dog.' + +'Then why don't you reform and be a good dog?' inquired Miss +Wren. + +'Because, my dear,' returned Eugene, 'there's nobody who makes it +worth my while. Have you considered my suggestion, Lizzie?' +This in a lower voice, but only as if it were a graver matter; not at +all to the exclusion of the person of the house. + +'I have thought of it, Mr Wrayburn, but I have not been able to +make up my mind to accept it.' + +'False pride!' said Eugene. + +'I think not, Mr Wrayburn. I hope not.' + +'False pride!' repeated Eugene. 'Why, what else is it? The thing is +worth nothing in itself. The thing is worth nothing to me. What +can it be worth to me? You know the most I make of it. I propose +to be of some use to somebody--which I never was in this world, +and never shall be on any other occasion--by paying some +qualified person of your own sex and age, so many (or rather so +few) contemptible shillings, to come here, certain nights in the +week, and give you certain instruction which you wouldn't want if +you hadn't been a self-denying daughter and sister. You know +that it's good to have it, or you would never have so devoted +yourself to your brother's having it. Then why not have it: +especially when our friend Miss Jenny here would profit by it too? +If I proposed to be the teacher, or to attend the lessons--obviously +incongruous!--but as to that, I might as well be on the other side of +the globe, or not on the globe at all. False pride, Lizzie. Because +true pride wouldn't shame, or be shamed by, your thankless +brother. True pride wouldn't have schoolmasters brought here, +like doctors, to look at a bad case. True pride would go to work +and do it. You know that, well enough, for you know that your +own true pride would do it to-morrow, if you had the ways and +means which false pride won't let me supply. Very well. I add no +more than this. Your false pride does wrong to yourself and does +wrong to your dead father.' + +'How to my father, Mr Wrayburn?' she asked, with an anxious +face. + +'How to your father? Can you ask! By perpetuating the +consequences of his ignorant and blind obstinacy. By resolving +not to set right the wrong he did you. By determining that the +deprivation to which he condemned you, and which he forced +upon you, shall always rest upon his head.' + +It chanced to be a subtle string to sound, in her who had so spoken +to her brother within the hour. It sounded far more forcibly, +because of the change in the speaker for the moment; the passing +appearance of earnestness, complete conviction, injured +resentment of suspicion, generous and unselfish interest. All these +qualities, in him usually so light and careless, she felt to be +inseparable from some touch of their opposites in her own breast. +She thought, had she, so far below him and so different, rejected +this disinterestedness, because of some vain misgiving that he +sought her out, or heeded any personal attractions that he might +descry in her? The poor girl, pure of heart and purpose, could not +bear to think it. Sinking before her own eyes, as she suspected +herself of it, she drooped her head as though she had done him +some wicked and grievous injury, and broke into silent tears. + +'Don't be distressed,' said Eugene, very, very kindly. 'I hope it is +not I who have distressed you. I meant no more than to put the +matter in its true light before you; though I acknowledge I did it +selfishly enough, for I am disappointed.' + +Disappointed of doing her a service. How else COULD he be +disappointed? + +'It won't break my heart,' laughed Eugene; 'it won't stay by me +eight-and-forty hours; but I am genuinely disappointed. I had set +my fancy on doing this little thing for you and for our friend Miss +Jenny. The novelty of my doing anything in the least useful, had +its charms. I see, now, that I might have managed it better. I +might have affected to do it wholly for our friend Miss J. I might +have got myself up, morally, as Sir Eugene Bountiful. But upon +my soul I can't make flourishes, and I would rather be +disappointed than try.' + +If he meant to follow home what was in Lizzie's thoughts, it was +skilfully done. If he followed it by mere fortuitous coincidence, it +was done by an evil chance. + +'It opened out so naturally before me,' said Eugene. 'The ball +seemed so thrown into my hands by accident! I happen to be +originally brought into contact with you, Lizzie, on those two +occasions that you know of. I happen to be able to promise you +that a watch shall be kept upon that false accuser, Riderhood. I +happen to be able to give you some little consolation in the +darkest hour of your distress, by assuring you that I don't believe +him. On the same occasion I tell you that I am the idlest and least +of lawyers, but that I am better than none, in a case I have noted +down with my own hand, and that you may be always sure of my +best help, and incidentally of Lightwood's too, in your efforts to +clear your father. So, it gradually takes my fancy that I may help +you--so easily!--to clear your father of that other blame which I +mentioned a few minutes ago, and which is a just and real one. I +hope I have explained myself; for I am heartily sorry to have +distressed you. I hate to claim to mean well, but I really did mean +honestly and simply well, and I want you to know it.' + +'I have never doubted that, Mr Wrayburn,' said Lizzie; the more +repentant, the less he claimed. + +'I am very glad to hear it. Though if you had quite understood my +whole meaning at first, I think you would not have refused. Do +you think you would?' + +'I--don't know that I should, Mr Wrayburn.' + +'Well! Then why refuse now you do understand it?' + +'It's not easy for me to talk to you,' returned Lizzie, in some +confusion, 'for you see all the consequences of what I say, as soon +as I say it.' + +'Take all the consequences,' laughed Eugene, 'and take away my +disappointment. Lizzie Hexam, as I truly respect you, and as I am +your friend and a poor devil of a gentleman, I protest I don't even +now understand why you hesitate.' + +There was an appearance of openness, trustfulness, unsuspecting +generosity, in his words and manner, that won the poor girl over; +and not only won her over, but again caused her to feel as though +she had been influenced by the opposite qualities, with vanity at +their head. + +'I will not hesitate any longer, Mr Wrayburn. I hope you will not +think the worse of me for having hesitated at all. For myself and +for Jenny--you let me answer for you, Jenny dear?' + +The little creature had been leaning back, attentive, with her +elbows resting on the elbows of her chair, and her chin upon her +hands. Without changing her attitude, she answered, 'Yes!' so +suddenly that it rather seemed as if she had chopped the +monosyllable than spoken it. + +'For myself and for Jenny, I thankfully accept your kind offer.' + +'Agreed! Dismissed!' said Eugene, giving Lizzie his hand before +lightly waving it, as if he waved the whole subject away. 'I hope it +may not be often that so much is made of so little!' + +Then he fell to talking playfully with Jenny Wren. 'I think of +setting up a doll, Miss Jenny,' he said. + +'You had better not,' replied the dressmaker. + +'Why not?' + +'You are sure to break it. All you children do.' + +'But that makes good for trade, you know, Miss Wren,' returned +Eugene. 'Much as people's breaking promises and contracts and +bargains of all sorts, makes good for MY trade.' + +'I don't know about that,' Miss Wren retorted; 'but you had better +by half set up a pen-wiper, and turn industrious, and use it.' + +'Why, if we were all as industrious as you, little Busy-Body, we +should begin to work as soon as we could crawl, and there would +be a bad thing!' + +'Do you mean,' returned the little creature, with a flush suffusing +her face, 'bad for your backs and your legs?' + +'No, no, no,' said Eugene; shocked--to do him justice--at the +thought of trifling with her infirmity. 'Bad for business, bad for +business. If we all set to work as soon as we could use our hands, +it would be all over with the dolls' dressmakers.' + +'There's something in that,' replied Miss Wren; 'you have a sort of +an idea in your noddle sometimes.' Then, in a changed tone; +'Talking of ideas, my Lizzie,' they were sitting side by side as they +had sat at first, 'I wonder how it happens that when I am work, +work, working here, all alone in the summer-time, I smell flowers.' + +'As a commonplace individual, I should say,' Eugene suggested +languidly--for he was growing weary of the person of the house-- +'that you smell flowers because you DO smell flowers.' + +'No I don't,' said the little creature, resting one arm upon the elbow +of her chair, resting her chin upon that hand, and looking vacantly +before her; 'this is not a flowery neighbourhood. It's anything but +that. And yet as I sit at work, I smell miles of flowers. I smell +roses, till I think I see the rose-leaves lying in heaps, bushels, on +the floor. I smell fallen leaves, till I put down my hand--so--and +expect to make them rustle. I smell the white and the pink May in +the hedges, and all sorts of flowers that I never was among. For I +have seen very few flowers indeed, in my life.' + +'Pleasant fancies to have, Jenny dear!' said her friend: with a +glance towards Eugene as if she would have asked him whether +they were given the child in compensation for her losses. + +'So I think, Lizzie, when they come to me. And the birds I hear! +Oh!' cried the little creature, holding out her hand and looking +upward, 'how they sing!' + +There was something in the face and action for the moment, quite +inspired and beautiful. Then the chin dropped musingly upon the +hand again. + +'I dare say my birds sing better than other birds, and my flowers +smell better than other flowers. For when I was a little child,' in a +tone as though it were ages ago, 'the children that I used to see +early in the morning were very different from any others that I +ever saw. They were not like me; they were not chilled, anxious, +ragged, or beaten; they were never in pain. They were not like the +children of the neighbours; they never made me tremble all over, +by setting up shrill noises, and they never mocked me. Such +numbers of them too! All in white dresses, and with something +shining on the borders, and on their heads, that I have never been +able to imitate with my work, though I know it so well. They used +to come down in long bright slanting rows, and say all together, +"Who is this in pain! Who is this in pain!" When I told them who +it was, they answered, "Come and play with us!" When I said "I +never play! I can't play!" they swept about me and took me up, +and made me light. Then it was all delicious ease and rest till they +laid me down, and said, all together, "Have patience, and we will +come again." Whenever they came back, I used to know they +were coming before I saw the long bright rows, by hearing them +ask, all together a long way off, "Who is this in pain! Who is this +in pain!" And I used to cry out, "O my blessed children, it's poor +me. Have pity on me. Take me up and make me light!"' + +By degrees, as she progressed in this remembrance, the hand was +raised, the late ecstatic look returned, and she became quite +beautiful. Having so paused for a moment, silent, with a listening +smile upon her face, she looked round and recalled herself. + +'What poor fun you think me; don't you, Mr Wrayburn? You may +well look tired of me. But it's Saturday night, and I won't detain +you.' + +'That is to say, Miss Wren,' observed Eugene, quite ready to profit +by the hint, 'you wish me to go?' + +'Well, it's Saturday night,' she returned, and my child's coming +home. And my child is a troublesome bad child, and costs me a +world of scolding. I would rather you didn't see my child.' + +'A doll?' said Eugene, not understanding, and looking for an +explanation. + +But Lizzie, with her lips only, shaping the two words, 'Her father,' +he delayed no longer. He took his leave immediately. At the +corner of the street he stopped to light another cigar, and possibly +to ask himself what he was doing otherwise. If so, the answer was +indefinite and vague. Who knows what he is doing, who is +careless what he does! + +A man stumbled against him as he turned away, who mumbled +some maudlin apology. Looking after this man, Eugene saw him +go in at the door by which he himself had just come out. + +On the man's stumbling into the room, Lizzie rose to leave it. + +'Don't go away, Miss Hexam,' he said in a submissive manner, +speaking thickly and with difficulty. 'Don't fly from unfortunate +man in shattered state of health. Give poor invalid honour of your +company. It ain't--ain't catching.' + +Lizzie murmured that she had something to do in her own room, +and went away upstairs. + +'How's my Jenny?' said the man, timidly. 'How's my Jenny Wren, +best of children, object dearest affections broken-hearted invalid?' + +To which the person of the house, stretching out her arm in an +attitude of command, replied with irresponsive asperity: 'Go along +with you! Go along into your corner! Get into your corner +directly!' + +The wretched spectacle made as if he would have offered some +remonstrance; but not venturing to resist the person of the house, +thought better of it, and went and sat down on a particular chair of +disgrace. + +'Oh-h-h!' cried the person of the house, pointing her little finger, +'You bad old boy! Oh-h-h you naughty, wicked creature! WHAT +do you mean by it?' + +The shaking figure, unnerved and disjointed from head to foot, put +out its two hands a little way, as making overtures of peace and +reconciliation. Abject tears stood in its eyes, and stained the +blotched red of its cheeks. The swollen lead-coloured under lip +trembled with a shameful whine. The whole indecorous +threadbare ruin, from the broken shoes to the prematurely-grey +scanty hair, grovelled. Not with any sense worthy to be called a +sense, of this dire reversal of the places of parent and child, but in +a pitiful expostulation to be let off from a scolding. + +'I know your tricks and your manners,' cried Miss Wren. 'I know +where you've been to!' (which indeed it did not require +discernment to discover). 'Oh, you disgraceful old chap!' + +The very breathing of the figure was contemptible, as it laboured +and rattled in that operation, like a blundering clock. + +'Slave, slave, slave, from morning to night,' pursued the person of +the house, 'and all for this! WHAT do you mean by it?' + +There was something in that emphasized 'What,' which absurdly +frightened the figure. As often as the person of the house worked +her way round to it--even as soon as he saw that it was coming-- +he collapsed in an extra degree. + +'I wish you had been taken up, and locked up,' said the person of +the house. 'I wish you had been poked into cells and black holes, +and run over by rats and spiders and beetles. I know their tricks +and their manners, and they'd have tickled you nicely. Ain't you +ashamed of yourself?' + +'Yes, my dear,' stammered the father. + +'Then,' said the person of the house, terrifying him by a grand +muster of her spirits and forces before recurring to the emphatic +word, 'WHAT do you mean by it?' + +'Circumstances over which had no control,' was the miserable +creature's plea in extenuation. + +'I'LL circumstance you and control you too,' retorted the person of +the house, speaking with vehement sharpness, 'if you talk in that +way. I'll give you in charge to the police, and have you fined five +shillings when you can't pay, and then I won't pay the money for +you, and you'll be transported for life. How should you like to be +transported for life?' + +'Shouldn't like it. Poor shattered invalid. Trouble nobody long,' +cried the wretched figure. + +'Come, come!' said the person of the house, tapping the table near +her in a business-like manner, and shaking her head and her chin; +'you know what you've got to do. Put down your money this +instant.' + +The obedient figure began to rummage in its pockets. + +'Spent a fortune out of your wages, I'll be bound!' said the person +of the house. 'Put it here! All you've got left! Every farthing!' + +Such a business as he made of collecting it from his dogs'-eared +pockets; of expecting it in this pocket, and not finding it; of not +expecting it in that pocket, and passing it over; of finding no +pocket where that other pocket ought to be! + +'Is this all?' demanded the person of the house, when a confused +heap of pence and shillings lay on the table. + +'Got no more,' was the rueful answer, with an accordant shake of +the head. + +'Let me make sure. You know what you've got to do. Turn all +your pockets inside out, and leave 'em so!' cried the person of the +house. + +He obeyed. And if anything could have made him look more +abject or more dismally ridiculous than before, it would have been +his so displaying himself. + +'Here's but seven and eightpence halfpenny!' exclaimed Miss +Wren, after reducing the heap to order. 'Oh, you prodigal old son! +Now you shall be starved.' + +'No, don't starve me,' he urged, whimpering. + +'If you were treated as you ought to be,' said Miss Wren, 'you'd be +fed upon the skewers of cats' meat;--only the skewers, after the +cats had had the meat. As it is, go to bed.' + +When he stumbled out of the corner to comply, he again put out +both his hands, and pleaded: 'Circumstances over which no +control--' + +'Get along with you to bed!' cried Miss Wren, snapping him up. +'Don't speak to me. I'm not going to forgive you. Go to bed this +moment!' + +Seeing another emphatic 'What' upon its way, he evaded it by +complying and was heard to shuffle heavily up stairs, and shut his +door, and throw himself on his bed. Within a little while +afterwards, Lizzie came down. + +'Shall we have our supper, Jenny dear?' + +'Ah! bless us and save us, we need have something to keep us +going,' returned Miss Jenny, shrugging her shoulders. + +Lizzie laid a cloth upon the little bench (more handy for the +person of the house than an ordinary table), and put upon it such +plain fare as they were accustomed to have, and drew up a stool +for herself. + +'Now for supper! What are you thinking of, Jenny darling?' + +'I was thinking,' she returned, coming out of a deep study, 'what I +would do to Him, if he should turn out a drunkard.' + +'Oh, but he won't,' said Lizzie. 'You'll take care of that, +beforehand.' + +'I shall try to take care of it beforehand, but he might deceive me. +Oh, my dear, all those fellows with their tricks and their manners +do deceive!' With the little fist in full action. 'And if so, I tell you +what I think I'd do. When he was asleep, I'd make a spoon red +hot, and I'd have some boiling liquor bubbling in a saucepan, and +I'd take it out hissing, and I'd open his mouth with the other hand-- +or perhaps he'd sleep with his mouth ready open--and I'd pour it +down his throat, and blister it and choke him.' + +'I am sure you would do no such horrible thing,' said Lizzie. + +'Shouldn't I? Well; perhaps I shouldn't. But I should like to!' + +'I am equally sure you would not.' + +'Not even like to? Well, you generally know best. Only you +haven't always lived among it as I have lived--and your back isn't +bad and your legs are not queer.' + +As they went on with their supper, Lizzie tried to bring her round +to that prettier and better state. But, the charm was broken. The +person of the house was the person of a house full of sordid +shames and cares, with an upper room in which that abased figure +was infecting even innocent sleep with sensual brutality and +degradation. The doll's dressmaker had become a little quaint +shrew; of the world, worldly; of the earth, earthy. + +Poor doll's dressmaker! How often so dragged down by hands +that should have raised her up; how often so misdirected when +losing her way on the eternal road, and asking guidance! Poor, +poor little doll's dressmaker! + + + +Chapter 3 + +A PIECE OF WORK + + +Britannia, sitting meditating one fine day (perhaps in the attitude +in which she is presented on the copper coinage), discovers all of +a sudden that she wants Veneering in Parliament. It occurs to her +that Veneering is 'a representative man'--which cannot in these +times be doubted--and that Her Majesty's faithful Commons are +incomplete without him. So, Britannia mentions to a legal +gentleman of her acquaintance that if Veneering will 'put down' +five thousand pounds, he may write a couple of initial letters after +his name at the extremely cheap rate of two thousand five +hundred per letter. It is clearly understood between Britannia and +the legal gentleman that nobody is to take up the five thousand +pounds, but that being put down they will disappear by magical +conjuration and enchantment. + +The legal gentleman in Britannia's confidence going straight from +that lady to Veneering, thus commissioned, Veneering declares +himself highly flattered, but requires breathing time to ascertain +'whether his friends will rally round him.' Above all things, he +says, it behoves him to be clear, at a crisis of this importance, +'whether his friends will rally round him.' The legal gentleman, in +the interests of his client cannot allow much time for this purpose, +as the lady rather thinks she knows somebody prepared to put +down six thousand pounds; but he says he will give Veneering +four hours. + +Veneering then says to Mrs Veneering, 'We must work,' and +throws himself into a Hansom cab. Mrs Veneering in the same +moment relinquishes baby to Nurse; presses her aquiline hands +upon her brow, to arrange the throbbing intellect within; orders +out the carriage; and repeats in a distracted and devoted manner, +compounded of Ophelia and any self-immolating female of +antiquity you may prefer, 'We must work.' + +Veneering having instructed his driver to charge at the Public in +the streets, like the Life-Guards at Waterloo, is driven furiously to +Duke Street, Saint James's. There, he finds Twemlow in his +lodgings, fresh from the hands of a secret artist who has been +doing something to his hair with yolks of eggs. The process +requiring that Twemlow shall, for two hours after the application, +allow his hair to stick upright and dry gradually, he is in an +appropriate state for the receipt of startling intelligence; looking +equally like the Monument on Fish Street Hill, and King Priam on +a certain incendiary occasion not wholly unknown as a neat point +from the classics. + +'My dear Twemlow,' says Veneering, grasping both his hands, as +the dearest and oldest of my friends--' + +('Then there can be no more doubt about it in future,' thinks +Twemlow, 'and I AM!') + +'--Are you of opinion that your cousin, Lord Snigsworth, would +give his name as a Member of my Committee? I don't go so far as +to ask for his lordship; I only ask for his name. Do you think he +would give me his name?' + +In sudden low spirits, Twemlow replies, 'I don't think he would.' + +'My political opinions,' says Veneering, not previously aware of +having any, 'are identical with those of Lord Snigsworth, and +perhaps as a matter of public feeling and public principle, Lord +Snigsworth would give me his name.' + +'It might be so,' says Twemlow; 'but--' And perplexedly scratching +his head, forgetful of the yolks of eggs, is the more discomfited by +being reminded how stickey he is. + +'Between such old and intimate friends as ourselves,' pursues +Veneering, 'there should in such a case be no reserve. Promise me +that if I ask you to do anything for me which you don't like to do, +or feel the slightest difficulty in doing, you will freely tell me so.' + +This, Twemlow is so kind as to promise, with every appearance of +most heartily intending to keep his word. + +'Would you have any objection to write down to Snigsworthy +Park, and ask this favour of Lord Snigsworth? Of course if it were +granted I should know that I owed it solely to you; while at the +same time you would put it to Lord Snigsworth entirely upon +public grounds. Would you have any objection?' + +Says Twemlow, with his hand to his forehead, 'You have exacted +a promise from me.' + +'I have, my dear Twemlow.' + +'And you expect me to keep it honourably.' + +'I do, my dear Twemlow.' + +'ON the whole, then;--observe me,' urges Twemlow with great +nicety, as if; in the case of its having been off the whole, he would +have done it directly--'ON the whole, I must beg you to excuse me +from addressing any communication to Lord Snigsworth.' + +'Bless you, bless you!' says Veneering; horribly disappointed, but +grasping him by both hands again, in a particularly fervent +manner. + +It is not to be wondered at that poor Twemlow should decline to +inflict a letter on his noble cousin (who has gout in the temper), +inasmuch as his noble cousin, who allows him a small annuity on +which he lives, takes it out of him, as the phrase goes, in extreme +severity; putting him, when he visits at Snigsworthy Park, under a +kind of martial law; ordaining that he shall hang his hat on a +particular peg, sit on a particular chair, talk on particular subjects +to particular people, and perform particular exercises: such as +sounding the praises of the Family Varnish (not to say Pictures), +and abstaining from the choicest of the Family Wines unless +expressly invited to partake. + +'One thing, however, I CAN do for you,' says Twemlow; 'and that +is, work for you.' + +Veneering blesses him again. + +'I'll go,' says Twemlow, in a rising hurry of spirits, 'to the club;--let +us see now; what o'clock is it?' + +'Twenty minutes to eleven.' + +'I'll be,' says Twemlow, 'at the club by ten minutes to twelve, and +I'll never leave it all day.' + +Veneering feels that his friends are rallying round him, and says, +'Thank you, thank you. I knew I could rely upon you. I said to +Anastatia before leaving home just now to come to you--of course +the first friend I have seen on a subject so momentous to me, my +dear Twemlow--I said to Anastatia, "We must work."' + +'You were right, you were right,' replies Twemlow. 'Tell me. Is +SHE working?' + +'She is,' says Veneering. + +'Good!' cries Twemlow, polite little gentleman that he is. 'A +woman's tact is invaluable. To have the dear sex with us, is to +have everything with us.' + +'But you have not imparted to me,' remarks Veneering, 'what you +think of my entering the House of Commons?' + +'I think,' rejoins Twemlow, feelingly, 'that it is the best club in +London.' + +Veneering again blesses him, plunges down stairs, rushes into his +Hansom, and directs the driver to be up and at the British Public, +and to charge into the City. + +Meanwhile Twemlow, in an increasing hurry of spirits, gets his +hair down as well as he can--which is not very well; for, after +these glutinous applications it is restive, and has a surface on it +somewhat in the nature of pastry--and gets to the club by the +appointed time. At the club he promptly secures a large window, +writing materials, and all the newspapers, and establishes himself; +immoveable, to be respectfully contemplated by Pall Mall. +Sometimes, when a man enters who nods to him, Twemlow says, +'Do you know Veneering?' Man says, 'No; member of the club?' +Twemlow says, 'Yes. Coming in for Pocket-Breaches.' Man says, +'Ah! Hope he may find it worth the money!' yawns, and saunters +out. Towards six o'clock of the afternoon, Twemlow begins to +persuade himself that he is positively jaded with work, and thinks +it much to be regretted that he was not brought up as a +Parliamentary agent. + +From Twemlow's, Veneering dashes at Podsnap's place of +business. Finds Podsnap reading the paper, standing, and inclined +to be oratorical over the astonishing discovery he has made, that +Italy is not England. Respectfully entreats Podsnap's pardon for +stopping the flow of his words of wisdom, and informs him what is +in the wind. Tells Podsnap that their political opinions are +identical. Gives Podsnap to understand that he, Veneering, +formed his political opinions while sitting at the feet of him, +Podsnap. Seeks earnestly to know whether Podsnap 'will rally +round him?' + +Says Podsnap, something sternly, 'Now, first of all, Veneering, do +you ask my advice?' + +Veneering falters that as so old and so dear a friend-- + +'Yes, yes, that's all very well,' says Podsnap; 'but have you made +up your mind to take this borough of Pocket-Breaches on its own +terms, or do you ask my opinion whether you shall take it or leave +it alone?' + +Veneering repeats that his heart's desire and his soul's thirst are, +that Podsnap shall rally round him. + +'Now, I'll be plain with you, Veneering,' says Podsnap, knitting his +brows. 'You will infer that I don't care about Parliament, from the +fact of my not being there?' + +Why, of course Veneering knows that! Of course Veneering +knows that if Podsnap chose to go there, he would be there, in a +space of time that might be stated by the light and thoughtless as a +jiffy. + +'It is not worth my while,' pursues Podsnap, becoming handsomely +mollified, 'and it is the reverse of important to my position. But it +is not my wish to set myself up as law for another man, differently +situated. You think it IS worth YOUR while, and IS important to +YOUR position. Is that so?' + +Always with the proviso that Podsnap will rally round him, +Veneering thinks it is so. + +'Then you don't ask my advice,' says Podsnap. 'Good. Then I +won't give it you. But you do ask my help. Good. Then I'll work +for you.' + +Veneering instantly blesses him, and apprises him that Twemlow is +already working. Podsnap does not quite approve that anybody +should be already working--regarding it rather in the light of a +liberty--but tolerates Twemlow, and says he is a well-connected +old female who will do no harm. + +'I have nothing very particular to do to-day,' adds Podsnap, 'and +I'll mix with some influential people. I had engaged myself to +dinner, but I'll send Mrs Podsnap and get off going myself; and I'll +dine with you at eight. It's important we should report progress +and compare notes. Now, let me see. You ought to have a couple +of active energetic fellows, of gentlemanly manners, to go about.' + +Veneering, after cogitation, thinks of Boots and Brewer. + +'Whom I have met at your house,' says Podsnap. 'Yes. They'll do +very well. Let them each have a cab, and go about.' + +Veneering immediately mentions what a blessing he feels it, to +possess a friend capable of such grand administrative suggestions, +and really is elated at this going about of Boots and Brewer, as an +idea wearing an electioneering aspect and looking desperately like +business. Leaving Podsnap, at a hand-gallop, he descends upon +Boots and Brewer, who enthusiastically rally round him by at +once bolting off in cabs, taking opposite directions. Then +Veneering repairs to the legal gentleman in Britannia's confidence, +and with him transacts some delicate affairs of business, and +issues an address to the independent electors of Pocket-Breaches, +announcing that he is coming among them for their suffrages, as +the mariner returns to the home of his early childhood: a phrase +which is none the worse for his never having been near the place +in his life, and not even now distinctly knowing where it is. + +Mrs Veneering, during the same eventful hours, is not idle. No +sooner does the carriage turn out, all complete, than she turns into +it, all complete, and gives the word 'To Lady Tippins's.' That +charmer dwells over a staymaker's in the Belgravian Borders, with +a life-size model in the window on the ground floor of a +distinguished beauty in a blue petticoat, stay-lace in hand, looking +over her shoulder at the town in innocent surprise. As well she +may, to find herself dressing under the circumstances. + +Lady Tippins at home? Lady Tippins at home, with the room +darkened, and her back (like the lady's at the ground-floor +window, though for a different reason) cunningly turned towards +the light. Lady Tippins is so surprised by seeing her dear Mrs +Veneering so early--in the middle of the night, the pretty creature +calls it--that her eyelids almost go up, under the influence of that +emotion. + +To whom Mrs Veneering incoherently communicates, how that +Veneering has been offered Pocket-Breaches; how that it is the +time for rallying round; how that Veneering has said 'We must +work'; how that she is here, as a wife and mother, to entreat Lady +Tippins to work; how that the carriage is at Lady Tippins's +disposal for purposes of work; how that she, proprietress of said +bran new elegant equipage, will return home on foot--on bleeding +feet if need be--to work (not specifying how), until she drops by +the side of baby's crib. + +'My love,' says Lady Tippins, 'compose yourself; we'll bring him +in.' And Lady Tippins really does work, and work the Veneering +horses too; for she clatters about town all day, calling upon +everybody she knows, and showing her entertaining powers and +green fan to immense advantage, by rattling on with, My dear +soul, what do you think? What do you suppose me to be? You'll +never guess. I'm pretending to be an electioneering agent. And +for what place of all places? Pocket-Breaches. And why? +Because the dearest friend I have in the world has bought it. And +who is the dearest friend I have in the world? A man of the name +of Veneering. Not omitting his wife, who is the other dearest +friend I have in the world; and I positively declare I forgot their +baby, who is the other. And we are carrying on this little farce to +keep up appearances, and isn't it refreshing! Then, my precious +child, the fun of it is that nobody knows who these Veneerings +are, and that they know nobody, and that they have a house out of +the Tales of the Genii, and give dinners out of the Arabian Nights. +Curious to see 'em, my dear? Say you'll know 'em. Come and +dine with 'em. They shan't bore you. Say who shall meet you. +We'll make up a party of our own, and I'll engage that they shall +not interfere with you for one single moment. You really ought to +see their gold and silver camels. I call their dinner-table, the +Caravan. Do come and dine with my Veneerings, my own +Veneerings, my exclusive property, the dearest friends I have in +the world! And above all, my dear, be sure you promise me your +vote and interest and all sorts of plumpers for Pocket-Breaches; +for we couldn't think of spending sixpence on it, my love, and can +only consent to be brought in by the spontaneous thingummies of +the incorruptible whatdoyoucallums. + +Now, the point of view seized by the bewitching Tippins, that this +same working and rallying round is to keep up appearances, may +have something in it, but not all the truth. More is done, or +considered to be done--which does as well--by taking cabs, and +'going about,' than the fair Tippins knew of. Many vast vague +reputations have been made, solely by taking cabs and going +about. This particularly obtains in all Parliamentary affairs. +Whether the business in hand be to get a man in, or get a man out, +or get a man over, or promote a railway, or jockey a railway, or +what else, nothing is understood to be so effectual as scouring +nowhere in a violent hurry--in short, as taking cabs and going +about. + +Probably because this reason is in the air, Twemlow, far from +being singular in his persuasion that he works like a Trojan, is +capped by Podsnap, who in his turn is capped by Boots and +Brewer. At eight o'clock when all these hard workers assemble to +dine at Veneering's, it is understood that the cabs of Boots and +Brewer mustn't leave the door, but that pails of water must be +brought from the nearest baiting-place, and cast over the horses' +legs on the very spot, lest Boots and Brewer should have instant +occasion to mount and away. Those fleet messengers require the +Analytical to see that their hats are deposited where they can be +laid hold of at an instant's notice; and they dine (remarkably well +though) with the air of firemen in charge of an engine, expecting +intelligence of some tremendous conflagration. + +Mrs Veneering faintly remarks, as dinner opens, that many such +days would be too much for her. + +'Many such days would be too much for all of us,' says Podsnap; +'but we'll bring him in!' + +'We'll bring him in,' says Lady Tippins, sportively waving her +green fan. 'Veneering for ever!' + +'We'll bring him in!' says Twemlow. + +'We'll bring him in!' say Boots and Brewer. + +Strictly speaking, it would be hard to show cause why they should +not bring him in, Pocket-Breaches having closed its little bargain, +and there being no opposition. However, it is agreed that they +must 'work' to the last, and that if they did not work, something +indefinite would happen. It is likewise agreed that they are all so +exhausted with the work behind them, and need to be so fortified +for the work before them, as to require peculiar strengthening +from Veneering's cellar. Therefore, the Analytical has orders to +produce the cream of the cream of his binns, and therefore it falls +out that rallying becomes rather a trying word for the occasion; +Lady Tippins being observed gamely to inculcate the necessity of +rearing round their dear Veneering; Podsnap advocating roaring +round him; Boots and Brewer declaring their intention of reeling +round him; and Veneering thanking his devoted friends one and +all, with great emotion, for rarullarulling round him. + +In these inspiring moments, Brewer strikes out an idea which is +the great hit of the day. He consults his watch, and says (like Guy +Fawkes), he'll now go down to the House of Commons and see +how things look. + +'I'll keep about the lobby for an hour or so,' says Brewer, with a +deeply mysterious countenance, 'and if things look well, I won't +come back, but will order my cab for nine in the morning.' + +'You couldn't do better,' says Podsnap. + +Veneering expresses his inability ever to acknowledge this last +service. Tears stand in Mrs Veneering's affectionate eyes. Boots +shows envy, loses ground, and is regarded as possessing a second- +rate mind. They all crowd to the door, to see Brewer off. Brewer +says to his driver, 'Now, is your horse pretty fresh?' eyeing the +animal with critical scrutiny. Driver says he's as fresh as butter. +'Put him along then,' says Brewer; 'House of Commons.' Driver +darts up, Brewer leaps in, they cheer him as he departs, and Mr +Podsnap says, 'Mark my words, sir. That's a man of resource; +that's a man to make his way in life.' + +When the time comes for Veneering to deliver a neat and +appropriate stammer to the men of Pocket-Breaches, only +Podsnap and Twemlow accompany him by railway to that +sequestered spot. The legal gentleman is at the Pocket-Breaches +Branch Station, with an open carriage with a printed bill +'Veneering for ever' stuck upon it, as if it were a wall; and they +gloriously proceed, amidst the grins of the populace, to a feeble +little town hall on crutches, with some onions and bootlaces under +it, which the legal gentleman says are a Market; and from the +front window of that edifice Veneering speaks to the listening +earth. In the moment of his taking his hat off, Podsnap, as per +agreement made with Mrs Veneering, telegraphs to that wife and +mother, 'He's up.' + +Veneering loses his way in the usual No Thoroughfares of speech, +and Podsnap and Twemlow say Hear hear! and sometimes, when +he can't by any means back himself out of some very unlucky No +Thoroughfare, 'He-a-a-r He-a-a-r!' with an air of facetious +conviction, as if the ingenuity of the thing gave them a sensation +of exquisite pleasure. But Veneering makes two remarkably good +points; so good, that they are supposed to have been suggested to +him by the legal gentleman in Britannia's confidence, while briefly +conferring on the stairs. + +Point the first is this. Veneering institutes an original comparison +between the country, and a ship; pointedly calling the ship, the +Vessel of the State, and the Minister the Man at the Helm. +Veneering's object is to let Pocket-Breaches know that his friend +on his right (Podsnap) is a man of wealth. Consequently says he, +'And, gentlemen, when the timbers of the Vessel of the State are +unsound and the Man at the Helm is unskilful, would those great +Marine Insurers, who rank among our world-famed merchant- +princes--would they insure her, gentlemen? Would they +underwrite her? Would they incur a risk in her? Would they have +confidence in her? Why, gentlemen, if I appealed to my +honourable friend upon my right, himself among the greatest and +most respected of that great and much respected class, he would +answer No!' + +Point the second is this. The telling fact that Twemlow is related +to Lord Snigsworth, must be let off. Veneering supposes a state of +public affairs that probably never could by any possibility exist +(though this is not quite certain, in consequence of his picture +being unintelligible to himself and everybody else), and thus +proceeds. 'Why, gentlemen, if I were to indicate such a +programme to any class of society, I say it would be received with +derision, would be pointed at by the finger of scorn. If I indicated +such a programme to any worthy and intelligent tradesman of your +town--nay, I will here be personal, and say Our town--what would +he reply? He would reply, "Away with it!" That's what HE would +reply, gentlemen. In his honest indignation he would reply, +"Away with it!" But suppose I mounted higher in the social scale. +Suppose I drew my arm through the arm of my respected friend +upon my left, and, walking with him through the ancestral woods +of his family, and under the spreading beeches of Snigsworthy +Park, approached the noble hall, crossed the courtyard, entered by +the door, went up the staircase, and, passing from room to room, +found myself at last in the august presence of my friend's near +kinsman, Lord Snigsworth. And suppose I said to that venerable +earl, "My Lord, I am here before your lordship, presented by your +lordship's near kinsman, my friend upon my left, to indicate that +programme;" what would his lordship answer? Why, he would +answer, "Away with it!" That's what he would answer, gentlemen. +"Away with it!" Unconsciously using, in his exalted sphere, the +exact language of the worthy and intelligent tradesman of our +town, the near and dear kinsman of my friend upon my left would +answer in his wrath, "Away with it!"' + +Veneering finishes with this last success, and Mr Podsnap +telegraphs to Mrs Veneering, 'He's down.' + +Then, dinner is had at the Hotel with the legal gentleman, and then +there are in due succession, nomination, and declaration. Finally +Mr Podsnap telegraphs to Mrs Veneering, 'We have brought him +in.' + +Another gorgeous dinner awaits them on their return to the +Veneering halls, and Lady Tippins awaits them, and Boots and +Brewer await them. There is a modest assertion on everybody's +part that everybody single-handed 'brought him in'; but in the main +it is conceded by all, that that stroke of business on Brewer's part, +in going down to the house that night to see how things looked, +was the master-stroke. + +A touching little incident is related by Mrs Veneering, in the +course of the evening. Mrs Veneering is habitually disposed to be +tearful, and has an extra disposition that way after her late +excitement. Previous to withdrawing from the dinner-table with +Lady Tippins, she says, in a pathetic and physically weak manner: + +'You will all think it foolish of me, I know, but I must mention it. +As I sat by Baby's crib, on the night before the election, Baby was +very uneasy in her sleep.' + +The Analytical chemist, who is gloomily looking on, has diabolical +impulses to suggest 'Wind' and throw up his situation; but +represses them. + +'After an interval almost convulsive, Baby curled her little hands +in one another and smiled.' + +Mrs Veneering stopping here, Mr Podsnap deems it incumbent on +him to say: 'I wonder why!' + +'Could it be, I asked myself,' says Mrs Veneering, looking about +her for her pocket-handkerchief, 'that the Fairies were telling +Baby that her papa would shortly be an M. P.?' + +So overcome by the sentiment is Mrs Veneering, that they all get +up to make a clear stage for Veneering, who goes round the table +to the rescue, and bears her out backward, with her feet +impressively scraping the carpet: after remarking that her work +has been too much for her strength. Whether the fairies made any +mention of the five thousand pounds, and it disagreed with Baby, +is not speculated upon. + +Poor little Twemlow, quite done up, is touched, and still continues +touched after he is safely housed over the livery-stable yard in +Duke Street, Saint James's. But there, upon his sofa, a tremendous +consideration breaks in upon the mild gentleman, putting all softer +considerations to the rout. + +'Gracious heavens! Now I have time to think of it, he never saw +one of his constituents in all his days, until we saw them together!' + +After having paced the room in distress of mind, with his hand to +his forehead, the innocent Twemlow returns to his sofa and +moans: + +'I shall either go distracted, or die, of this man. He comes upon +me too late in life. I am not strong enough to bear him!' + + + +Chapter 4 + +CUPID PROMPTED + + +To use the cold language of the world, Mrs Alfred Lammle rapidly +improved the acquaintance of Miss Podsnap. To use the warm +language of Mrs Lammle, she and her sweet Georgiana soon +became one: in heart, in mind, in sentiment, in soul. + +Whenever Georgiana could escape from the thraldom of +Podsnappery; could throw off the bedclothes of the custard- +coloured phaeton, and get up; could shrink out of the range of her +mother's rocking, and (so to speak) rescue her poor little frosty +toes from being rocked over; she repaired to her friend, Mrs +Alfred Lammle. Mrs Podsnap by no means objected. As a +consciously 'splendid woman,' accustomed to overhear herself so +denominated by elderly osteologists pursuing their studies in +dinner society, Mrs Podsnap could dispense with her daughter. +Mr Podsnap, for his part, on being informed where Georgiana +was, swelled with patronage of the Lammles. That they, when +unable to lay hold of him, should respectfully grasp at the hem of +his mantle; that they, when they could not bask in the glory of him +the sun, should take up with the pale reflected light of the watery +young moon his daughter; appeared quite natural, becoming, and +proper. It gave him a better opinion of the discretion of the +Lammles than he had heretofore held, as showing that they +appreciated the value of the connexion. So, Georgiana repairing +to her friend, Mr Podsnap went out to dinner, and to dinner, and +yet to dinner, arm in arm with Mrs Podsnap: settling his obstinate +head in his cravat and shirt-collar, much as if he were performing +on the Pandean pipes, in his own honour, the triumphal march, +See the conquering Podsnap comes, Sound the trumpets, beat the +drums! + +It was a trait in Mr Podsnap's character (and in one form or other +it will be generally seen to pervade the depths and shallows of +Podsnappery), that he could not endure a hint of disparagement of +any friend or acquaintance of his. 'How dare you?' he would seem +to say, in such a case. 'What do you mean? I have licensed this +person. This person has taken out MY certificate. Through this +person you strike at me, Podsnap the Great. And it is not that I +particularly care for the person's dignity, but that I do most +particularly care for Podsnap's.' Hence, if any one in his presence +had presumed to doubt the responsibility of the Lammles, he +would have been mightily huffed. Not that any one did, for +Veneering, M.P., was always the authority for their being very +rich, and perhaps believed it. As indeed he might, if he chose, for +anything he knew of the matter. + +Mr and Mrs Lammle's house in Sackville Street, Piccadilly, was +but a temporary residence. It has done well enough, they +informed their friends, for Mr Lammle when a bachelor, but it +would not do now. So, they were always looking at palatial +residences in the best situations, and always very nearly taking or +buying one, but never quite concluding the bargain. Hereby they +made for themselves a shining little reputation apart. People said, +on seeing a vacant palatial residence, 'The very thing for the +Lammles!' and wrote to the Lammles about it, and the Lammles +always went to look at it, but unfortunately it never exactly +answered. In short, they suffered so many disappointments, that +they began to think it would be necessary to build a palatial +residence. And hereby they made another shining reputation; +many persons of their acquaintance becoming by anticipation +dissatisfied with their own houses, and envious of the non-existent +Lammle structure. + +The handsome fittings and furnishings of the house in Sackville +Street were piled thick and high over the skeleton up-stairs, and if +it ever whispered from under its load of upholstery, 'Here I am in +the closet!' it was to very few ears, and certainly never to Miss +Podsnap's. What Miss Podsnap was particularly charmed with, +next to the graces of her friend, was the happiness of her friend's +married life. This was frequently their theme of conversation. + +'I am sure,' said Miss Podsnap, 'Mr Lammle is like a lover. At +least I--I should think he was.' + +'Georgiana, darling!' said Mrs Lammle, holding up a forefinger, +'Take care!' + +'Oh my goodness me!' exclaimed Miss Podsnap, reddening. 'What +have I said now?' + +'Alfred, you know,' hinted Mrs Lammle, playfully shaking her +head. 'You were never to say Mr Lammle any more, Georgiana.' + +'Oh! Alfred, then. I am glad it's no worse. I was afraid I had said +something shocking. I am always saying something wrong to ma.' + +'To me, Georgiana dearest?' + +'No, not to you; you are not ma. I wish you were.' + +Mrs Lammle bestowed a sweet and loving smile upon her friend, +which Miss Podsnap returned as she best could. They sat at lunch +in Mrs Lammle's own boudoir. + +'And so, dearest Georgiana, Alfred is like your notion of a lover?' + +'I don't say that, Sophronia,' Georgiana replied, beginning to +conceal her elbows. 'I haven't any notion of a lover. The dreadful +wretches that ma brings up at places to torment me, are not lovers. +I only mean that Mr--' + +'Again, dearest Georgiana?' + +'That Alfred--' + +'Sounds much better, darling.' + +'--Loves you so. He always treats you with such delicate gallantry +and attention. Now, don't he?' + +'Truly, my dear,' said Mrs Lammle, with a rather singular +expression crossing her face. 'I believe that he loves me, fully as +much as I love him.' + +'Oh, what happiness!' exclaimed Miss Podsnap. + +'But do you know, my Georgiana,' Mrs Lammle resumed +presently, 'that there is something suspicious in your enthusiastic +sympathy with Alfred's tenderness?' + +'Good gracious no, I hope not!' + +'Doesn't it rather suggest,' said Mrs Lammle archly, 'that my +Georgiana's little heart is--' + +'Oh don't!' Miss Podsnap blushingly besought her. 'Please don't! +I assure you, Sophronia, that I only praise Alfred, because he is +your husband and so fond of you.' + +Sophronia's glance was as if a rather new light broke in upon her. +It shaded off into a cool smile, as she said, with her eyes upon her +lunch, and her eyebrows raised: + +'You are quite wrong, my love, in your guess at my meaning. +What I insinuated was, that my Georgiana's little heart was +growing conscious of a vacancy.' + +'No, no, no,' said Georgiana. 'I wouldn't have anybody say +anything to me in that way for I don't know how many thousand +pounds.' + +'In what way, my Georgiana?' inquired Mrs Lammle, still smiling +coolly with her eyes upon her lunch, and her eyebrows raised. + +'YOU know,' returned poor little Miss Podsnap. 'I think I should +go out of my mind, Sophronia, with vexation and shyness and +detestation, if anybody did. It's enough for me to see how loving +you and your husband are. That's a different thing. I couldn't +bear to have anything of that sort going on with myself. I should +beg and pray to--to have the person taken away and trampled +upon.' + +Ah! here was Alfred. Having stolen in unobserved, he playfully +leaned on the back of Sophronia's chair, and, as Miss Podsnap saw +him, put one of Sophronia's wandering locks to his lips, and waved +a kiss from it towards Miss Podsnap. + +'What is this about husbands and detestations?' inquired the +captivating Alfred. + +'Why, they say,' returned his wife, 'that listeners never hear any +good of themselves; though you--but pray how long have you +been here, sir?' + +'This instant arrived, my own.' + +'Then I may go on--though if you had been here but a moment or +two sooner, you would have heard your praises sounded by +Georgiana.' + +'Only, if they were to be called praises at all which I really don't +think they were,' explained Miss Podsnap in a flutter, 'for being so +devoted to Sophronia.' + +'Sophronia!' murmured Alfred. 'My life!' and kissed her hand. In +return for which she kissed his watch-chain. + +'But it was not I who was to be taken away and trampled upon, I +hope?' said Alfred, drawing a seat between them. + +'Ask Georgiana, my soul,' replied his wife. + +Alfred touchingly appealed to Georgiana. + +'Oh, it was nobody,' replied Miss Podsnap. 'It was nonsense.' + +'But if you are determined to know, Mr Inquisitive Pet, as I +suppose you are,' said the happy and fond Sophronia, smiling, 'it +was any one who should venture to aspire to Georgiana.' + +'Sophronia, my love,' remonstrated Mr Lammle, becoming graver, +'you are not serious?' + +'Alfred, my love,' returned his wife, 'I dare say Georgiana was not, +but I am.' + +'Now this,' said Mr Lammle, 'shows the accidental combinations +that there are in things! Could you believe, my Ownest, that I +came in here with the name of an aspirant to our Georgiana on my +lips?' + +'Of course I could believe, Alfred,' said Mrs Lammle, 'anything +that YOU told me.' + +'You dear one! And I anything that YOU told me.' + +How delightful those interchanges, and the looks accompanying +them! Now, if the skeleton up-stairs had taken that opportunity, +for instance, of calling out 'Here I am, suffocating in the closet!' + +'I give you my honour, my dear Sophronia--' + +'And I know what that is, love,' said she. + +'You do, my darling--that I came into the room all but uttering +young Fledgeby's name. Tell Georgiana, dearest, about young +Fledgeby.' + +'Oh no, don't! Please don't!' cried Miss Podsnap, putting her +fingers in her ears. 'I'd rather not.' + +Mrs Lammle laughed in her gayest manner, and, removing her +Georgiana's unresisting hands, and playfully holding them in her +own at arms' length, sometimes near together and sometimes wide +apart, went on: + +'You must know, you dearly beloved little goose, that once upon a +time there was a certain person called young Fledgeby. And this +young Fledgeby, who was of an excellent family and rich, was +known to two other certain persons, dearly attached to one +another and called Mr and Mrs Alfred Lammle. So this young +Fledgeby, being one night at the play, there sees with Mr and Mrs +Alfred Lammle, a certain heroine called--' + +'No, don't say Georgiana Podsnap!' pleaded that young lady +almost in tears. 'Please don't. Oh do do do say somebody else! +Not Georgiana Podsnap. Oh don't, don't, don't!' + +'No other,' said Mrs Lammle, laughing airily, and, full of +affectionate blandishments, opening and closing Georgiana's arms +like a pair of compasses, than my little Georgiana Podsnap. So +this young Fledgeby goes to that Alfred Lammle and says--' + +'Oh ple-e-e-ease don't!' Georgiana, as if the supplication were +being squeezed out of her by powerful compression. 'I so hate +him for saying it!' + +'For saying what, my dear?' laughed Mrs Lammle. + +'Oh, I don't know what he said,' cried Georgiana wildly, 'but I hate +him all the same for saying it.' + +'My dear,' said Mrs Lammle, always laughing in her most +captivating way, 'the poor young fellow only says that he is +stricken all of a heap.' + +'Oh, what shall I ever do!' interposed Georgiana. 'Oh my goodness +what a Fool he must be!' + +'--And implores to be asked to dinner, and to make a fourth at the +play another time. And so he dines to-morrow and goes to the +Opera with us. That's all. Except, my dear Georgiana--and what +will you think of this!--that he is infinitely shyer than you, and far +more afraid of you than you ever were of any one in all your +days!' + +In perturbation of mind Miss Podsnap still fumed and plucked at +her hands a little, but could not help laughing at the notion of +anybody's being afraid of her. With that advantage, Sophronia +flattered her and rallied her more successfully, and then the +insinuating Alfred flattered her and rallied her, and promised that +at any moment when she might require that service at his hands, +he would take young Fledgeby out and trample on him. Thus it +remained amicably understood that young Fledgeby was to come +to admire, and that Georgiana was to come to be admired; and +Georgiana with the entirely new sensation in her breast of having +that prospect before her, and with many kisses from her dear +Sophronia in present possession, preceded six feet one of +discontented footman (an amount of the article that always came +for her when she walked home) to her father's dwelling. + +The happy pair being left together, Mrs Lammle said to her +husband: + +'If I understand this girl, sir, your dangerous fascinations have +produced some effect upon her. I mention the conquest in good +time because I apprehend your scheme to be more important to +you than your vanity.' + +There was a mirror on the wall before them, and her eyes just +caught him smirking in it. She gave the reflected image a look of +the deepest disdain, and the image received it in the glass. Next +moment they quietly eyed each other, as if they, the principals, +had had no part in that expressive transaction. + +It may have been that Mrs Lammle tried in some manner to +excuse her conduct to herself by depreciating the poor little victim +of whom she spoke with acrimonious contempt. It may have been +too that in this she did not quite succeed, for it is very difficult to +resist confidence, and she knew she had Georgiana's. + +Nothing more was said between the happy pair. Perhaps +conspirators who have once established an understanding, may +not be over-fond of repeating the terms and objects of their +conspiracy. Next day came; came Georgiana; and came +Fledgeby. + +Georgiana had by this time seen a good deal of the house and its +frequenters. As there was a certain handsome room with a billiard +table in it--on the ground floor, eating out a backyard--which +might have been Mr Lammle's office, or library, but was called by +neither name, but simply Mr Lammle's room, so it would have +been hard for stronger female heads than Georgiana's to determine +whether its frequenters were men of pleasure or men of business. +Between the room and the men there were strong points of +general resemblance. Both were too gaudy, too slangey, too +odorous of cigars, and too much given to horseflesh; the latter +characteristic being exemplified in the room by its decorations, +and in the men by their conversation. High-stepping horses +seemed necessary to all Mr Lammle's friends--as necessary as +their transaction of business together in a gipsy way at untimely +hours of the morning and evening, and in rushes and snatches. +There were friends who seemed to be always coming and going +across the Channel, on errands about the Bourse, and Greek and +Spanish and India and Mexican and par and premium and discount +and three quarters and seven eighths. There were other friends +who seemed to be always lolling and lounging in and out of the +City, on questions of the Bourse, and Greek and Spanish and India +and Mexican and par and premium and discount and three +quarters and seven eighths. They were all feverish, boastful, and +indefinably loose; and they all ate and drank a great deal; and +made bets in eating and drinking. They all spoke of sums of +money, and only mentioned the sums and left the money to be +understood; as 'five and forty thousand Tom,' or 'Two hundred and +twenty-two on every individual share in the lot Joe.' They seemed +to divide the world into two classes of people; people who were +making enormous fortunes, and people who were being +enormously ruined. They were always in a hurry, and yet seemed +to have nothing tangible to do; except a few of them (these, +mostly asthmatic and thick-lipped) who were for ever +demonstrating to the rest, with gold pencil-cases which they could +hardly hold because of the big rings on their forefingers, how +money was to be made. Lastly, they all swore at their grooms, +and the grooms were not quite as respectful or complete as other +men's grooms; seeming somehow to fall short of the groom point +as their masters fell short of the gentleman point. + +Young Fledgeby was none of these. Young Fledgeby had a +peachy cheek, or a cheek compounded of the peach and the red +red red wall on which it grows, and was an awkward, sandy- +haired, small-eyed youth, exceeding slim (his enemies would have +said lanky), and prone to self-examination in the articles of +whisker and moustache. While feeling for the whisker that he +anxiously expected, Fledgeby underwent remarkable fluctuations +of spirits, ranging along the whole scale from confidence to +despair. There were times when he started, as exclaiming 'By +Jupiter here it is at last!' There were other times when, being +equally depressed, he would be seen to shake his head, and give +up hope. To see him at those periods leaning on a chimneypiece, +like as on an urn containing the ashes of his ambition, with the +cheek that would not sprout, upon the hand on which that cheek +had forced conviction, was a distressing sight. + +Not so was Fledgeby seen on this occasion. Arrayed in superb +raiment, with his opera hat under his arm, he concluded his self- +examination hopefully, awaited the arrival of Miss Podsnap, and +talked small-talk with Mrs Lammle. In facetious homage to the +smallness of his talk, and the jerky nature of his manners, +Fledgeby's familiars had agreed to confer upon him (behind his +back) the honorary title of Fascination Fledgeby. + +'Warm weather, Mrs Lammle,' said Fascination Fledgeby. Mrs +Lammle thought it scarcely as warm as it had been yesterday. +'Perhaps not,' said Fascination Fledgeby, with great quickness of +repartee; 'but I expect it will be devilish warm to-morrow.' + +He threw off another little scintillation. 'Been out to-day, Mrs +Lammle?' + +Mrs Lammle answered, for a short drive. + +'Some people,' said Fascination Fledgeby, 'are accustomed to take +long drives; but it generally appears to me that if they make 'em +too long, they overdo it.' + +Being in such feather, he might have surpassed himself in his next +sally, had not Miss Podsnap been announced. Mrs Lammle flew +to embrace her darling little Georgy, and when the first transports +were over, presented Mr Fledgeby. Mr Lammle came on the +scene last, for he was always late, and so were the frequenters +always late; all hands being bound to be made late, by private +information about the Bourse, and Greek and Spanish and India +and Mexican and par and premium and discount and three +quarters and seven eighths. + +A handsome little dinner was served immediately, and Mr Lammle +sat sparkling at his end of the table, with his servant behind his +chair, and HIS ever-lingering doubts upon the subject of his wages +behind himself. Mr Lammle's utmost powers of sparkling were in +requisition to-day, for Fascination Fledgeby and Georgiana not +only struck each other speechless, but struck each other into +astonishing attitudes; Georgiana, as she sat facing Fledgeby, +making such efforts to conceal her elbows as were totally +incompatible with the use of a knife and fork; and Fledgeby, as he +sat facing Georgiana, avoiding her countenance by every possible +device, and betraying the discomposure of his mind in feeling for +his whiskers with his spoon, his wine glass, and his bread. + +So, Mr and Mrs Alfred Lammle had to prompt, and this is how +they prompted. + +'Georgiana,' said Mr Lammle, low and smiling, and sparkling all +over, like a harlequin; 'you are not in your usual spirits. Why are +you not in your usual spirits, Georgiana?' + +Georgiana faltered that she was much the same as she was in +general; she was not aware of being different. + +'Not aware of being different!' retorted Mr Alfred Lammle. 'You, +my dear Georgiana! Who are always so natural and +unconstrained with us! Who are such a relief from the crowd that +are all alike! Who are the embodiment of gentleness, simplicity, +and reality!' + +Miss Podsnap looked at the door, as if she entertained confused +thoughts of taking refuge from these compliments in flight. + +'Now, I will be judged,' said Mr Lammle, raising his voice a little, +'by my friend Fledgeby.' + +'Oh DON'T!' Miss Podsnap faintly ejaculated: when Mrs Lammle +took the prompt-book. + +'I beg your pardon, Alfred, my dear, but I cannot part with Mr +Fledgeby quite yet; you must wait for him a moment. Mr +Fledgeby and I are engaged in a personal discussion.' + +Fledgeby must have conducted it on his side with immense art, for +no appearance of uttering one syllable had escaped him. + +'A personal discussion, Sophronia, my love? What discussion? +Fledgeby, I am jealous. What discussion, Fledgeby?' + +'Shall I tell him, Mr Fledgeby?' asked Mrs Lammle. + +Trying to look as if he knew anything about it, Fascination replied, +'Yes, tell him.' + +'We were discussing then,' said Mrs Lammle, 'if you MUST know, +Alfred, whether Mr Fledgeby was in his usual flow of spirits.' + +'Why, that is the very point, Sophronia, that Georgiana and I were +discussing as to herself! What did Fledgeby say?' + +'Oh, a likely thing, sir, that I am going to tell you everything, and +be told nothing! What did Georgiana say?' + +'Georgiana said she was doing her usual justice to herself to-day, +and I said she was not.' + +'Precisely,' exclaimed Mrs Lammle, 'what I said to Mr Fledgeby.' +Still, it wouldn't do. They would not look at one another. No, not +even when the sparkling host proposed that the quartette should +take an appropriately sparkling glass of wine. Georgiana looked +from her wine glass at Mr Lammle and at Mrs Lammle; but +mightn't, couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't, look at Mr Fledgeby. +Fascination looked from his wine glass at Mrs Lammle and at Mr +Lammle; but mightn't, couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't, look at +Georgiana. + +More prompting was necessary. Cupid must be brought up to the +mark. The manager had put him down in the bill for the part, and +he must play it. + +'Sophronia, my dear,' said Mr Lammle, 'I don't like the colour of +your dress.' + +'I appeal,' said Mrs Lammle, 'to Mr Fledgeby.' + +'And I,' said Mr Lammle, 'to Georgiana.' + +'Georgy, my love,' remarked Mrs Lammle aside to her dear girl, 'I +rely upon you not to go over to the opposition. Now, Mr +Fledgeby.' + +Fascination wished to know if the colour were not called rose- +colour? Yes, said Mr Lammle; actually he knew everything; it +was really rose-colour. Fascination took rose-colour to mean the +colour of roses. (In this he was very warmly supported by Mr and +Mrs Lammle.) Fascination had heard the term Queen of Flowers +applied to the Rose. Similarly, it might be said that the dress was +the Queen of Dresses. ('Very happy, Fledgeby!' from Mr +Lammle.) Notwithstanding, Fascination's opinion was that we all +had our eyes--or at least a large majority of us--and that--and--and +his farther opinion was several ands, with nothing beyond them. + +'Oh, Mr Fledgeby,' said Mrs Lammle, 'to desert me in that way! +Oh, Mr Fledgeby, to abandon my poor dear injured rose and +declare for blue!' + +'Victory, victory!' cried Mr Lammle; 'your dress is condemned, my +dear.' + +'But what,' said Mrs Lammle, stealing her affectionate hand +towards her dear girl's, 'what does Georgy say?' + +'She says,' replied Mr Lammle, interpreting for her, 'that in her +eyes you look well in any colour, Sophronia, and that if she had +expected to be embarrassed by so pretty a compliment as she has +received, she would have worn another colour herself. Though I +tell her, in reply, that it would not have saved her, for whatever +colour she had worn would have been Fledgeby's colour. But +what does Fledgeby say?' + +'He says,' replied Mrs Lammle, interpreting for him, and patting +the back of her dear girl's hand, as if it were Fledgeby who was +patting it, 'that it was no compliment, but a little natural act of +homage that he couldn't resist. And,' expressing more feeling as if +it were more feeling on the part of Fledgeby, 'he is right, he is +right!' + +Still, no not even now, would they look at one another. Seeming +to gnash his sparkling teeth, studs, eyes, and buttons, all at once, +Mr Lammle secretly bent a dark frown on the two, expressive of +an intense desire to bring them together by knocking their heads +together. + +'Have you heard this opera of to-night, Fledgeby?' he asked, +stopping very short, to prevent himself from running on into +'confound you.' + +'Why no, not exactly,' said Fledgeby. 'In fact I don't know a note +of it.' + +'Neither do you know it, Georgy?' said Mrs Lammle. 'N-no,' +replied Georgiana, faintly, under the sympathetic coincidence. + +'Why, then,' said Mrs Lammle, charmed by the discovery which +flowed from the premises, 'you neither of you know it! How +charming!' + +Even the craven Fledgeby felt that the time was now come when +he must strike a blow. He struck it by saying, partly to Mrs +Lammle and partly to the circumambient air, 'I consider myself +very fortunate in being reserved by--' + +As he stopped dead, Mr Lammle, making that gingerous bush of +his whiskers to look out of, offered him the word 'Destiny.' + +'No, I wasn't going to say that,' said Fledgeby. 'I was going to say +Fate. I consider it very fortunate that Fate has written in the book +of--in the book which is its own property--that I should go to that +opera for the first time under the memorable circumstances of +going with Miss Podsnap.' + +To which Georgiana replied, hooking her two little fingers in one +another, and addressing the tablecloth, 'Thank you, but I generally +go with no one but you, Sophronia, and I like that very much.' + +Content perforce with this success for the time, Mr Lammle let +Miss Podsnap out of the room, as if he were opening her cage +door, and Mrs Lammle followed. Coffee being presently served +up stairs, he kept a watch on Fledgeby until Miss Podsnap's cup +was empty, and then directed him with his finger (as if that young +gentleman were a slow Retriever) to go and fetch it. This feat he +performed, not only without failure, but even with the original +embellishment of informing Miss Podsnap that green tea was +considered bad for the nerves. Though there Miss Podsnap +unintentionally threw him out by faltering, 'Oh, is it indeed? How +does it act?' Which he was not prepared to elucidate. + +The carriage announced, Mrs Lammle said; 'Don't mind me, Mr +Fledgeby, my skirts and cloak occupy both my hands, take Miss +Podsnap.' And he took her, and Mrs Lammle went next, and Mr +Lammle went last, savagely following his little flock, like a drover. + +But he was all sparkle and glitter in the box at the Opera, and +there he and his dear wife made a conversation between Fledgeby +and Georgiana in the following ingenious and skilful manner. +They sat in this order: Mrs Lammle, Fascination Fledgeby, +Georgiana, Mr Lammle. Mrs Lammle made leading remarks to +Fledgeby, only requiring monosyllabic replies. Mr Lammle did +the like with Georgiana. At times Mrs Lammle would lean +forward to address Mr Lammle to this purpose. + +'Alfred, my dear, Mr Fledgeby very justly says, apropos of the last +scene, that true constancy would not require any such stimulant as +the stage deems necessary.' To which Mr Lammle would reply, +'Ay, Sophronia, my love, but as Georgiana has observed to me, the +lady had no sufficient reason to know the state of the gentleman's +affections.' To which Mrs Lammle would rejoin, 'Very true, +Alfred; but Mr Fledgeby points out,' this. To which Alfred would +demur: 'Undoubtedly, Sophronia, but Georgiana acutely remarks,' +that. Through this device the two young people conversed at +great length and committed themselves to a variety of delicate +sentiments, without having once opened their lips, save to say yes +or no, and even that not to one another. + +Fledgeby took his leave of Miss Podsnap at the carriage door, and +the Lammles dropped her at her own home, and on the way Mrs +Lammle archly rallied her, in her fond and protecting manner, by +saying at intervals, 'Oh little Georgiana, little Georgiana!' Which +was not much; but the tone added, 'You have enslaved your +Fledgeby.' + +And thus the Lammles got home at last, and the lady sat down +moody and weary, looking at her dark lord engaged in a deed of +violence with a bottle of soda-water as though he were wringing +the neck of some unlucky creature and pouring its blood down his +throat. As he wiped his dripping whiskers in an ogreish way, he +met her eyes, and pausing, said, with no very gentle voice: + +'Well?' + +'Was such an absolute Booby necessary to the purpose?' + +'I know what I am doing. He is no such dolt as you suppose.' + +'A genius, perhaps?' + +'You sneer, perhaps; and you take a lofty air upon yourself +perhaps! But I tell you this:--when that young fellow's interest is +concerned, he holds as tight as a horse-leech. When money is in +question with that young fellow, he is a match for the Devil.' + +'Is he a match for you?' + +'He is. Almost as good a one as you thought me for you. He has +no quality of youth in him, but such as you have seen to-day. +Touch him upon money, and you touch no booby then. He really +is a dolt, I suppose, in other things; but it answers his one purpose +very well.' + +'Has she money in her own right in any case?' + +'Ay! she has money in her own right in any case. You have done +so well to-day, Sophronia, that I answer the question, though you +know I object to any such questions. You have done so well to- +day, Sophronia, that you must be tired. Get to bed.' + + + +Chapter 5 + +MERCURY PROMPTING + + +Fledgeby deserved Mr Alfred Lammle's eulogium. He was the +meanest cur existing, with a single pair of legs. And instinct (a +word we all clearly understand) going largely on four legs, and +reason always on two, meanness on four legs never attains the +perfection of meanness on two. + +The father of this young gentleman had been a money-lender, who +had transacted professional business with the mother of this young +gentleman, when he, the latter, was waiting in the vast dark ante- +chambers of the present world to be born. The lady, a widow, +being unable to pay the money-lender, married him; and in due +course, Fledgeby was summoned out of the vast dark ante- +chambers to come and be presented to the Registrar-General. +Rather a curious speculation how Fledgeby would otherwise have +disposed of his leisure until Doomsday. + +Fledgeby's mother offended her family by marrying Fledgeby's +father. It is one of the easiest achievements in life to offend your +family when your family want to get rid of you. Fledgeby's +mother's family had been very much offended with her for being +poor, and broke with her for becoming comparatively rich. +Fledgeby's mother's family was the Snigsworth family. She had +even the high honour to be cousin to Lord Snigsworth--so many +times removed that the noble Earl would have had no +compunction in removing her one time more and dropping her +clean outside the cousinly pale; but cousin for all that. + +Among her pre-matrimonial transactions with Fledgeby's father, +Fledgeby's mother had raised money of him at a great +disadvantage on a certain reversionary interest. The reversion +falling in soon after they were married, Fledgeby's father laid hold +of the cash for his separate use and benefit. This led to subjective +differences of opinion, not to say objective interchanges of boot- +jacks, backgammon boards, and other such domestic missiles, +between Fledgeby's father and Fledgeby's mother, and those led to +Fledgeby's mother spending as much money as she could, and to +Fledgeby's father doing all he couldn't to restrain her. Fledgeby's +childhood had been, in consequence, a stormy one; but the winds +and the waves had gone down in the grave, and Fledgeby +flourished alone. + +He lived in chambers in the Albany, did Fledgeby, and maintained +a spruce appearance. But his youthful fire was all composed of +sparks from the grindstone; and as the sparks flew off, went out, +and never warmed anything, be sure that Fledgeby had his tools at +the grindstone, and turned it with a wary eye. + +Mr Alfred Lammle came round to the Albany to breakfast with +Fledgeby. Present on the table, one scanty pot of tea, one scanty +loaf, two scanty pats of butter, two scanty rashers of bacon, two +pitiful eggs, and an abundance of handsome china bought a +secondhand bargain. + +'What did you think of Georgiana?' asked Mr Lammle. + +'Why, I'll tell you,' said Fledgeby, very deliberately. + +'Do, my boy.' + +'You misunderstand me,' said Fledgeby. 'I don't mean I'll tell you +that. I mean I'll tell you something else.' + +'Tell me anything, old fellow!' + +'Ah, but there you misunderstand me again,' said Fledgeby. 'I +mean I'll tell you nothing.' + +Mr Lammle sparkled at him, but frowned at him too. + +'Look here,' said Fledgeby. 'You're deep and you're ready. +Whether I am deep or not, never mind. I am not ready. But I can +do one thing, Lammle, I can hold my tongue. And I intend always +doing it.' + +'You are a long-headed fellow, Fledgeby.' + +'May be, or may not be. If I am a short-tongued fellow, it may +amount to the same thing. Now, Lammle, I am never going to +answer questions.' + +'My dear fellow, it was the simplest question in the world.' + +'Never mind. It seemed so, but things are not always what they +seem. I saw a man examined as a witness in Westminster Hall. +Questions put to him seemed the simplest in the world, but turned +out to be anything rather than that, after he had answered 'em. +Very well. Then he should have held his tongue. If he had held +his tongue he would have kept out of scrapes that he got into.' + +'If I had held my tongue, you would never have seen the subject of +my question,' remarked Lammle, darkening. + +'Now, Lammle,' said Fascination Fledgeby, calmly feeling for his +whisker, 'it won't do. I won't be led on into a discussion. I can't +manage a discussion. But I can manage to hold my tongue.' + +'Can?' Mr Lammle fell back upon propitiation. 'I should think you +could! Why, when these fellows of our acquaintance drink and +you drink with them, the more talkative they get, the more silent +you get. The more they let out, the more you keep in.' + +'I don't object, Lammle,' returned Fledgeby, with an internal +chuckle, 'to being understood, though I object to being questioned. +That certainly IS the way I do it.' + +'And when all the rest of us are discussing our ventures, none of us +ever know what a single venture of yours is!' + +'And none of you ever will from me, Lammle,' replied Fledgeby, +with another internal chuckle; 'that certainly IS the way I do it.' + +'Why of course it is, I know!' rejoined Lammle, with a flourish of +frankness, and a laugh, and stretching out his hands as if to show +the universe a remarkable man in Fledgeby. 'If I hadn't known it +of my Fledgeby, should I have proposed our little compact of +advantage, to my Fledgeby?' + +'Ah!' remarked Fascination, shaking his head slyly. 'But I am not +to be got at in that way. I am not vain. That sort of vanity don't +pay, Lammle. No, no, no. Compliments only make me hold my +tongue the more.' + +Alfred Lammle pushed his plate away (no great sacrifice under +the circumstances of there being so little in it), thrust his hands in +his pockets, leaned back in his chair, and contemplated Fledgeby +in silence. Then he slowly released his left hand from its pocket, +and made that bush of his whiskers, still contemplating him in +silence. Then he slowly broke silence, and slowly said: 'What-- +the--Dev-il is this fellow about this morning?' + +'Now, look here, Lammle,' said Fascination Fledgeby, with the +meanest of twinkles in his meanest of eyes: which were too near +together, by the way: 'look here, Lammle; I am very well aware +that I didn't show to advantage last night, and that you and your +wife--who, I consider, is a very clever woman and an agreeable +woman--did. I am not calculated to show to advantage under that +sort of circumstances. I know very well you two did show to +advantage, and managed capitally. But don't you on that account +come talking to me as if I was your doll and puppet, because I am +not. + +'And all this,' cried Alfred, after studying with a look the meanness +that was fain to have the meanest help, and yet was so mean as to +turn upon it: 'all this because of one simple natural question!' + +'You should have waited till I thought proper to say something +about it of myself. I don't like your coming over me with your +Georgianas, as if you was her proprietor and mine too.' + +'Well, when you are in the gracious mind to say anything about it +of yourself,' retorted Lammle, 'pray do.' + +'I have done it. I have said you managed capitally. You and your +wife both. If you'll go on managing capitally, I'll go on doing my +part. Only don't crow.' + +'I crow!' exclaimed Lammle, shrugging his shoulders. + +'Or,' pursued the other--'or take it in your head that people are +your puppets because they don't come out to advantage at the +particular moments when you do, with the assistance of a very +clever and agreeable wife. All the rest keep on doing, and let Mrs +Lammle keep on doing. Now, I have held my tongue when I +thought proper, and I have spoken when I thought proper, and +there's an end of that. And now the question is,' proceeded +Fledgeby, with the greatest reluctance, 'will you have another +egg?' + +'No, I won't,' said Lammle, shortly. + +'Perhaps you're right and will find yourself better without it,' +replied Fascination, in greatly improved spirits. 'To ask you if +you'll have another rasher would be unmeaning flattery, for it +would make you thirsty all day. Will you have some more bread +and butter?' + +'No, I won't,' repeated Lammle. + +'Then I will,' said Fascination. And it was not a mere retort for the +sound's sake, but was a cheerful cogent consequence of the +refusal; for if Lammle had applied himself again to the loaf, it +would have been so heavily visited, in Fledgeby's opinion, as to +demand abstinence from bread, on his part, for the remainder of +that meal at least, if not for the whole of the next. + +Whether this young gentleman (for he was but three-and-twenty) +combined with the miserly vice of an old man, any of the open- +handed vices of a young one, was a moot point; so very +honourably did he keep his own counsel. He was sensible of the +value of appearances as an investment, and liked to dress well; but +he drove a bargain for every moveable about him, from the coat +on his back to the china on his breakfast-table; and every bargain +by representing somebody's ruin or somebody's loss, acquired a +peculiar charm for him. It was a part of his avarice to take, within +narrow bounds, long odds at races; if he won, he drove harder +bargains; if he lost, he half starved himself until next time. Why +money should be so precious to an Ass too dull and mean to +exchange it for any other satisfaction, is strange; but there is no +animal so sure to get laden with it, as the Ass who sees nothing +written on the face of the earth and sky but the three letters L. S. +D.--not Luxury, Sensuality, Dissoluteness, which they often stand +for, but the three dry letters. Your concentrated Fox is seldom +comparable to your concentrated Ass in money-breeding. + +Fascination Fledgeby feigned to be a young gentleman living on +his means, but was known secretly to be a kind of outlaw in the +bill-broking line, and to put money out at high interest in various +ways. His circle of familiar acquaintance, from Mr Lammle +round, all had a touch of the outlaw, as to their rovings in the +merry greenwood of Jobbery Forest, lying on the outskirts of the +Share-Market and the Stock Exchange. + +'I suppose you, Lammle,' said Fledgeby, eating his bread and +butter, 'always did go in for female society?' + +'Always,' replied Lammle, glooming considerably under his late +treatment. + +'Came natural to you, eh?' said Fledgeby. + +'The sex were pleased to like me, sir,' said Lammle sulkily, but +with the air of a man who had not been able to help himself. + +'Made a pretty good thing of marrying, didn't you?' asked +Fledgeby. + +The other smiled (an ugly smile), and tapped one tap upon his +nose. + +'My late governor made a mess of it,' said Fledgeby. 'But Geor--is +the right name Georgina or Georgiana?' + +'Georgiana.' + +'I was thinking yesterday, I didn't know there was such a name. I +thought it must end in ina. + +'Why?' + +'Why, you play--if you can--the Concertina, you know,' replied +Fledgeby, meditating very slowly. 'And you have--when you +catch it--the Scarlatina. And you can come down from a balloon +in a parach--no you can't though. Well, say Georgeute--I mean +Georgiana.' + +'You were going to remark of Georgiana--?' Lammle moodily +hinted, after waiting in vain. + +'I was going to remark of Georgiana, sir,' said Fledgeby, not at all +pleased to be reminded of his having forgotten it, 'that she don't +seem to be violent. Don't seem to be of the pitching-in order.' + +'She has the gentleness of the dove, Mr Fledgeby.' + +'Of course you'll say so,' replied Fledgeby, sharpening, the moment +his interest was touched by another. 'But you know, the real look- +out is this:--what I say, not what you say. I say having my late +governor and my late mother in my eye--that Georgiana don't +seem to be of the pitching-in order.' + +The respected Mr Lammle was a bully, by nature and by usual +practice. Perceiving, as Fledgeby's affronts cumulated, that +conciliation by no means answered the purpose here, he now +directed a scowling look into Fledgeby's small eyes for the effect +of the opposite treatment. Satisfied by what he saw there, he +burst into a violent passion and struck his hand upon the table, +making the china ring and dance. + +'You are a very offensive fellow, sir,' cried Mr Lammle, rising. +'You are a highly offensive scoundrel. What do you mean by this +behaviour?' + +'I say!' remonstrated Fledgeby. 'Don't break out.' + +'You are a very offensive fellow sir,' repeated Mr Lammle. 'You +are a highly offensive scoundrel!' + +'I SAY, you know!' urged Fledgeby, quailing. + +'Why, you coarse and vulgar vagabond!' said Mr Lammle, looking +fiercely about him, 'if your servant was here to give me sixpence +of your money to get my boots cleaned afterwards--for you are +not worth the expenditure--I'd kick you.' + +'No you wouldn't,' pleaded Fledgeby. 'I am sure you'd think better +of it.' + +'I tell you what, Mr Fledgeby,' said Lammle advancing on him. +'Since you presume to contradict me, I'll assert myself a little. +Give me your nose!' + +Fledgeby covered it with his hand instead, and said, retreating, 'I +beg you won't!' + +'Give me your nose, sir,' repeated Lammle. + +Still covering that feature and backing, Mr Fledgeby reiterated +(apparently with a severe cold in his head), 'I beg, I beg, you +won't.' + +'And this fellow,' exclaimed Lammle, stopping and making the +most of his chest--'This fellow presumes on my having selected +him out of all the young fellows I know, for an advantageous +opportunity! This fellow presumes on my having in my desk +round the corner, his dirty note of hand for a wretched sum +payable on the occurrence of a certain event, which event can +only be of my and my wife's bringing about! This fellow, +Fledgeby, presumes to be impertinent to me, Lammle. Give me +your nose sir!' + +'No! Stop! I beg your pardon,' said Fledgeby, with humility. + +'What do you say, sir?' demanded Mr Lammle, seeming too +furious to understand. + +'I beg your pardon,' repeated Fledgeby. + +'Repeat your words louder, sir. The just indignation of a +gentleman has sent the blood boiling to my head. I don't hear +you.' + +'I say,' repeated Fledgeby, with laborious explanatory politeness, 'I +beg your pardon.' + +Mr Lammle paused. 'As a man of honour,' said he, throwing +himself into a chair, 'I am disarmed.' + +Mr Fledgeby also took a chair, though less demonstratively, and +by slow approaches removed his hand from his nose. Some +natural diffidence assailed him as to blowing it, so shortly after its +having assumed a personal and delicate, not to say public, +character; but he overcame his scruples by degrees, and modestly +took that liberty under an implied protest. + +'Lammle,' he said sneakingly, when that was done, 'I hope we are +friends again?' + +'Mr Fledgeby,' returned Lammle, 'say no more.' + +'I must have gone too far in making myself disagreeable,' said +Fledgeby, 'but I never intended it.' + +'Say no more, say no more!' Mr Lammle repeated in a magnificent +tone. 'Give me your'--Fledgeby started--'hand.' + +They shook hands, and on Mr Lammle's part, in particular, there +ensued great geniality. For, he was quite as much of a dastard as +the other, and had been in equal danger of falling into the second +place for good, when he took heart just in time, to act upon the +information conveyed to him by Fledgeby's eye. + +The breakfast ended in a perfect understanding. Incessant +machinations were to be kept at work by Mr and Mrs Lammle; +love was to be made for Fledgeby, and conquest was to be insured +to him; he on his part very humbly admitting his defects as to the +softer social arts, and entreating to be backed to the utmost by his +two able coadjutors. + +Little recked Mr Podsnap of the traps and toils besetting his +Young Person. He regarded her as safe within the Temple of +Podsnappery, hiding the fulness of time when she, Georgiana, +should take him, Fitz-Podsnap, who with all his worldly goods +should her endow. It would call a blush into the cheek of his +standard Young Person to have anything to do with such matters +save to take as directed, and with worldly goods as per settlement +to be endowed. Who giveth this woman to be married to this +man? I, Podsnap. Perish the daring thought that any smaller +creation should come between! + +It was a public holiday, and Fledgeby did not recover his spirits or +his usual temperature of nose until the afternoon. Walking into +the City in the holiday afternoon, he walked against a living +stream setting out of it; and thus, when he turned into the +precincts of St Mary Axe, he found a prevalent repose and quiet +there. A yellow overhanging plaster-fronted house at which he +stopped was quiet too. The blinds were all drawn down, and the +inscription Pubsey and Co. seemed to doze in the counting-house +window on the ground-floor giving on the sleepy street. + +Fledgeby knocked and rang, and Fledgeby rang and knocked, but +no one came. Fledgeby crossed the narrow street and looked up +at the house-windows, but nobody looked down at Fledgeby. He +got out of temper, crossed the narrow street again, and pulled the +housebell as if it were the house's nose, and he were taking a hint +from his late experience. His ear at the keyhole seemed then, at +last, to give him assurance that something stirred within. His eye +at the keyhole seemed to confirm his ear, for he angrily pulled the +house's nose again, and pulled and pulled and continued to pull, +until a human nose appeared in the dark doorway. + +'Now you sir!' cried Fledgeby. 'These are nice games!' + +He addressed an old Jewish man in an ancient coat, long of skirt, +and wide of pocket. A venerable man, bald and shining at the top +of his head, and with long grey hair flowing down at its sides and +mingling with his beard. A man who with a graceful Eastern +action of homage bent his head, and stretched out his hands with +the palms downward, as if to deprecate the wrath of a superior. + +'What have you been up to?' said Fledgeby, storming at him. + +'Generous Christian master,' urged the Jewish man, 'it being +holiday, I looked for no one.' + +'Holiday he blowed!' said Fledgeby, entering. 'What have YOU +got to do with holidays? Shut the door.' + +With his former action the old man obeyed. In the entry hung his +rusty large-brimmed low-crowned hat, as long out of date as his +coat; in the corner near it stood his staff--no walking-stick but a +veritable staff. Fledgeby turned into the counting-house, perched +himself on a business stool, and cocked his hat. There were light +boxes on shelves in the counting-house, and strings of mock beads +hanging up. There were samples of cheap clocks, and samples of +cheap vases of flowers. Foreign toys, all. + +Perched on the stool with his hat cocked on his head and one of +his legs dangling, the youth of Fledgeby hardly contrasted to +advantage with the age of the Jewish man as he stood with his +bare head bowed, and his eyes (which he only raised in speaking) +on the ground. His clothing was worn down to the rusty hue of +the hat in the entry, but though he looked shabby he did not look +mean. Now, Fledgeby, though not shabby, did look mean. + +'You have not told me what you were up to, you sir,' said +Fledgeby, scratching his head with the brim of his hat. + +'Sir, I was breathing the air.' + +'In the cellar, that you didn't hear?' + +'On the house-top.' + +'Upon my soul! That's a way of doing business.' + +'Sir,' the old man represented with a grave and patient air, 'there +must be two parties to the transaction of business, and the holiday +has left me alone.' + +'Ah! Can't be buyer and seller too. That's what the Jews say; ain't +it?' + +'At least we say truly, if we say so,' answered the old man with a +smile. + +'Your people need speak the truth sometimes, for they lie enough,' +remarked Fascination Fledgeby. + +'Sir, there is,' returned the old man with quiet emphasis, 'too much +untruth among all denominations of men.' + +Rather dashed, Fascination Fledgeby took another scratch at his +intellectual head with his hat, to gain time for rallying. + +'For instance,' he resumed, as though it were he who had spoken +last, 'who but you and I ever heard of a poor Jew?' + +'The Jews,' said the old man, raising his eyes from the ground with +his former smile. 'They hear of poor Jews often, and are very +good to them.' + +'Bother that!' returned Fledgeby. 'You know what I mean. You'd +persuade me if you could, that you are a poor Jew. I wish you'd +confess how much you really did make out of my late governor. I +should have a better opinion of you.' + +The old man only bent his head, and stretched out his hands as +before. + +'Don't go on posturing like a Deaf and Dumb School,' said the +ingenious Fledgeby, 'but express yourself like a Christian--or as +nearly as you can.' + +'I had had sickness and misfortunes, and was so poor,' said the old +man, 'as hopelessly to owe the father, principal and interest. The +son inheriting, was so merciful as to forgive me both, and place +me here.' + +He made a little gesture as though he kissed the hem of an +imaginary garment worn by the noble youth before him. It was +humbly done, but picturesquely, and was not abasing to the doer. + +'You won't say more, I see,' said Fledgeby, looking at him as if he +would like to try the effect of extracting a double-tooth or two, +'and so it's of no use my putting it to you. But confess this, Riah; +who believes you to be poor now?' + +'No one,' said the old man. + +'There you're right,' assented Fledgeby. + +'No one,' repeated the old man with a grave slow wave of his +head. 'All scout it as a fable. Were I to say "This little fancy +business is not mine";' with a lithe sweep of his easily-turning +hand around him, to comprehend the various objects on the +shelves; '"it is the little business of a Christian young gentleman +who places me, his servant, in trust and charge here, and to whom +I am accountable for every single bead," they would laugh. +When, in the larger money-business, I tell the borrowers--' + +'I say, old chap!' interposed Fledgeby, 'I hope you mind what you +DO tell 'em?' + +'Sir, I tell them no more than I am about to repeat. When I tell +them, "I cannot promise this, I cannot answer for the other, I must +see my principal, I have not the money, I am a poor man and it +does not rest with me," they are so unbelieving and so impatient, +that they sometimes curse me in Jehovah's name.' + +'That's deuced good, that is!' said Fascination Fledgeby. + +'And at other times they say, "Can it never be done without these +tricks, Mr Riah? Come, come, Mr Riah, we know the arts of your +people"--my people!--"If the money is to be lent, fetch it, fetch it; +if it is not to be lent, keep it and say so." They never believe me.' + +'THAT'S all right,' said Fascination Fledgeby. + +'They say, "We know, Mr Riah, we know. We have but to look at +you, and we know."' + +'Oh, a good 'un are you for the post,' thought Fledgeby, 'and a +good 'un was I to mark you out for it! I may be slow, but I am +precious sure.' + +Not a syllable of this reflection shaped itself in any scrap of Mr +Fledgeby's breath, lest it should tend to put his servant's price up. +But looking at the old man as he stood quiet with his head bowed +and his eyes cast down, he felt that to relinquish an inch of his +baldness, an inch of his grey hair, an inch of his coat-skirt, an inch +of his hat-brim, an inch of his walking-staff, would be to relinquish +hundreds of pounds. + +'Look here, Riah,' said Fledgeby, mollified by these self-approving +considerations. 'I want to go a little more into buying-up queer +bills. Look out in that direction.' + +'Sir, it shall be done.' + +'Casting my eye over the accounts, I find that branch of business +pays pretty fairly, and I am game for extending it. I like to know +people's affairs likewise. So look out.' + +'Sir, I will, promptly.' + +'Put it about in the right quarters, that you'll buy queer bills by the +lump--by the pound weight if that's all--supposing you see your +way to a fair chance on looking over the parcel. And there's one +thing more. Come to me with the books for periodical inspection +as usual, at eight on Monday morning.' + +Riah drew some folding tablets from his breast and noted it down. + +'That's all I wanted to say at the present time,' continued Fledgeby +in a grudging vein, as he got off the stool, 'except that I wish you'd +take the air where you can hear the bell, or the knocker, either +one of the two or both. By-the-by how DO you take the air at the +top of the house? Do you stick your head out of a chimney-pot?' + +'Sir, there are leads there, and I have made a little garden there.' + +'To bury your money in, you old dodger?' + +'A thumbnail's space of garden would hold the treasure I bury, +master,' said Riah. 'Twelve shillings a week, even when they are +an old man's wages, bury themselves.' + +'I should like to know what you really are worth,' returned +Fledgeby, with whom his growing rich on that stipend and +gratitude was a very convenient fiction. 'But come! Let's have a +look at your garden on the tiles, before I go!' + +The old man took a step back, and hesitated. + +'Truly, sir, I have company there.' + +'Have you, by George!' said Fledgeby; 'I suppose you happen to +know whose premises these are?' + +'Sir, they are yours, and I am your servant in them.' + +'Oh! I thought you might have overlooked that,' retorted Fledgeby, +with his eyes on Riah's beard as he felt for his own; 'having +company on my premises, you know!' + +'Come up and see the guests, sir. I hope for your admission that +they can do no harm.' + +Passing him with a courteous reverence, specially unlike any +action that Mr Fledgeby could for his life have imparted to his +own head and hands, the old man began to ascend the stairs. As +he toiled on before, with his palm upon the stair-rail, and his long +black skirt, a very gaberdine, overhanging each successive step, +he might have been the leader in some pilgrimage of devotional +ascent to a prophet's tomb. Not troubled by any such weak +imagining, Fascination Fledgeby merely speculated on the time of +life at which his beard had begun, and thought once more what a +good 'un he was for the part. + +Some final wooden steps conducted them, stooping under a low +penthouse roof, to the house-top. Riah stood still, and, turning to +his master, pointed out his guests. + +Lizzie Hexam and Jenny Wren. For whom, perhaps with some old +instinct of his race, the gentle Jew had spread a carpet. Seated on +it, against no more romantic object than a blackened chimney- +stack over which some bumble creeper had been trained, they +both pored over one book; both with attentive faces; Jenny with +the sharper; Lizzie with the more perplexed. Another little book +or two were lying near, and a common basket of common fruit, +and another basket full of strings of beads and tinsel scraps. A +few boxes of humble flowers and evergreens completed the +garden; and the encompassing wilderness of dowager old +chimneys twirled their cowls and fluttered their smoke, rather as if +they were bridling, and fanning themselves, and looking on in a +state of airy surprise. + +Taking her eyes off the book, to test her memory of something in +it, Lizzie was the first to see herself observed. As she rose, Miss +Wren likewise became conscious, and said, irreverently +addressing the great chief of the premises: 'Whoever you are, I +can't get up, because my back's bad and my legs are queer.' + +'This is my master,' said Riah, stepping forward. + +('Don't look like anybody's master,' observed Miss Wren to +herself, with a hitch of her chin and eyes.) + +'This, sir,' pursued the old man, 'is a little dressmaker for little +people. Explain to the master, Jenny.' + +'Dolls; that's all,' said Jenny, shortly. 'Very difficult to fit too, +because their figures are so uncertain. You never know where to +expect their waists.' + +'Her friend,' resumed the old man, motioning towards Lizzie; 'and +as industrious as virtuous. But that they both are. They are busy +early and late, sir, early and late; and in bye-times, as on this +holiday, they go to book-learning.' + +'Not much good to be got out of that,' remarked Fledgeby. + +'Depends upon the person!' quoth Miss Wren, snapping him up. + +'I made acquaintance with my guests, sir,' pursued the Jew, with +an evident purpose of drawing out the dressmaker, 'through their +coming here to buy of our damage and waste for Miss Jenny's +millinery. Our waste goes into the best of company, sir, on her +rosy-cheeked little customers. They wear it in their hair, and on +their ball-dresses, and even (so she tells me) are presented at +Court with it.' + +'Ah!' said Fledgeby, on whose intelligence this doll-fancy made +rather strong demands; 'she's been buying that basketful to-day, I +suppose?' + +'I suppose she has,' Miss Jenny interposed; 'and paying for it too, +most likely!' + +'Let's have a look at it,' said the suspicious chief. Riah handed it +to him. 'How much for this now?' + +'Two precious silver shillings,' said Miss Wren. + +Riah confirmed her with two nods, as Fledgeby looked to him. A +nod for each shilling. + +'Well,' said Fledgeby, poking into the contents of the basket with +his forefinger, 'the price is not so bad. You have got good +measure, Miss What-is-it.' + +'Try Jenny,' suggested that young lady with great calmness. + +'You have got good measure, Miss Jenny; but the price is not so +bad.--And you,' said Fledgeby, turning to the other visitor, 'do you +buy anything here, miss?' + +'No, sir.' + +'Nor sell anything neither, miss?' + +'No, sir.' + +Looking askew at the questioner, Jenny stole her hand up to her +friend's, and drew her friend down, so that she bent beside her on +her knee. + +'We are thankful to come here for rest, sir,' said Jenny. 'You see, +you don't know what the rest of this place is to us; does he, +Lizzie? It's the quiet, and the air.' + +'The quiet!' repeated Fledgeby, with a contemptuous turn of his +head towards the City's roar. 'And the air!' with a 'Poof!' at the +smoke. + +'Ah!' said Jenny. 'But it's so high. And you see the clouds rushing +on above the narrow streets, not minding them, and you see the +golden arrows pointing at the mountains in the sky from which the +wind comes, and you feel as if you were dead.' + +The little creature looked above her, holding up her slight +transparent hand. + +'How do you feel when you are dead?' asked Fledgeby, much +perplexed. + +'Oh, so tranquil!' cried the little creature, smiling. 'Oh, so peaceful +and so thankful! And you hear the people who are alive, crying, +and working, and calling to one another down in the close dark +streets, and you seem to pity them so! And such a chain has fallen +from you, and such a strange good sorrowful happiness comes +upon you!' + +Her eyes fell on the old man, who, with his hands folded, quietly +looked on. + +'Why it was only just now,' said the little creature, pointing at him, +'that I fancied I saw him come out of his grave! He toiled out at +that low door so bent and worn, and then he took his breath and +stood upright, and looked all round him at the sky, and the wind +blew upon him, and his life down in the dark was over!--Till he +was called back to life,' she added, looking round at Fledgeby with +that lower look of sharpness. 'Why did you call him back?' + +'He was long enough coming, anyhow,' grumbled Fledgeby. + +'But you are not dead, you know,' said Jenny Wren. 'Get down to +life!' + +Mr Fledgeby seemed to think it rather a good suggestion, and with +a nod turned round. As Riah followed to attend him down the +stairs, the little creature called out to the Jew in a silvery tone, +'Don't be long gone. Come back, and be dead!' And still as they +went down they heard the little sweet voice, more and more +faintly, half calling and half singing, 'Come back and be dead, +Come back and be dead!' + +When they got down into the entry, Fledgeby, pausing under the +shadow of the broad old hat, and mechanically poising the staff, +said to the old man: + +'That's a handsome girl, that one in her senses.' + +'And as good as handsome,' answered Riah. + +'At all events,' observed Fledgeby, with a dry whistle, 'I hope she +ain't bad enough to put any chap up to the fastenings, and get the +premises broken open. You look out. Keep your weather eye +awake and don't make any more acquaintances, however +handsome. Of course you always keep my name to yourself?' + +'Sir, assuredly I do.' + +'If they ask it, say it's Pubsey, or say it's Co, or say it's anything +you like, but what it is.' + +His grateful servant--in whose race gratitude is deep, strong, and +enduring--bowed his head, and actually did now put the hem of +his coat to his lips: though so lightly that the wearer knew nothing +of it. + +Thus, Fascination Fledgeby went his way, exulting in the artful +cleverness with which he had turned his thumb down on a Jew, +and the old man went his different way up-stairs. As he mounted, +the call or song began to sound in his ears again, and, looking +above, he saw the face of the little creature looking down out of a +Glory of her long bright radiant hair, and musically repeating to +him, like a vision: + +'Come up and be dead! Come up and be dead!' + + + +Chapter 6 + +A RIDDLE WITHOUT AN ANSWER + + +Again Mr Mortimer Lightwood and Mr Eugene Wrayburn sat +together in the Temple. This evening, however, they were not +together in the place of business of the eminent solicitor, but in +another dismal set of chambers facing it on the same second-floor; +on whose dungeon-like black outer-door appeared the legend: + + PRIVATE + + MR EUGENE WRAYBURN + + MR MORTIMER LIGHTWOOD + + (Mr Lightwood's Offices opposite.) + +Appearances indicated that this establishment was a very recent +institution. The white letters of the inscription were extremely +white and extremely strong to the sense of smell, the complexion +of the tables and chairs was (like Lady Tippins's) a little too +blooming to be believed in, and the carpets and floorcloth seemed +to rush at the beholder's face in the unusual prominency of their +patterns. But the Temple, accustomed to tone down both the still +life and the human life that has much to do with it, would soon get +the better of all that. + +'Well!' said Eugene, on one side of the fire, 'I feel tolerably +comfortable. I hope the upholsterer may do the same.' + +'Why shouldn't he?' asked Lightwood, from the other side of the +fire. + +'To be sure,' pursued Eugene, reflecting, 'he is not in the secret of +our pecuniary affairs, so perhaps he may be in an easy frame of +mind.' + +'We shall pay him,' said Mortimer. + +'Shall we, really?' returned Eugene, indolently surprised. 'You +don't say so!' + +'I mean to pay him, Eugene, for my part,' said Mortimer, in a +slightly injured tone. + +'Ah! I mean to pay him too,' retorted Eugene. 'But then I mean so +much that I--that I don't mean.' + +'Don't mean?' + +'So much that I only mean and shall always only mean and nothing +more, my dear Mortimer. It's the same thing.' + +His friend, lying back in his easy chair, watched him lying back in +his easy chair, as he stretched out his legs on the hearth-rug, and +said, with the amused look that Eugene Wrayburn could always +awaken in him without seeming to try or care: + +'Anyhow, your vagaries have increased the bill.' + +'Calls the domestic virtues vagaries!' exclaimed Eugene, raising his +eyes to the ceiling. + +'This very complete little kitchen of ours,' said Mortimer, 'in which +nothing will ever be cooked--' + +'My dear, dear Mortimer,' returned his friend, lazily lifting his head +a little to look at him, 'how often have I pointed out to you that its +moral influence is the important thing?' + +'Its moral influence on this fellow!' exclaimed Lightwood, +laughing. + +'Do me the favour,' said Eugene, getting out of his chair with much +gravity, 'to come and inspect that feature of our establishment +which you rashly disparage.' With that, taking up a candle, he +conducted his chum into the fourth room of the set of chambers--a +little narrow room--which was very completely and neatly fitted +as a kitchen. 'See!' said Eugene, 'miniature flour-barrel, rolling- +pin, spice-box, shelf of brown jars, chopping-board, coffee-mill, +dresser elegantly furnished with crockery, saucepans and pans, +roasting jack, a charming kettle, an armoury of dish-covers. The +moral influence of these objects, in forming the domestic virtues, +may have an immense influence upon me; not upon you, for you +are a hopeless case, but upon me. In fact, I have an idea that I +feel the domestic virtues already forming. Do me the favour to +step into my bedroom. Secretaire, you see, and abstruse set of +solid mahogany pigeon-holes, one for every letter of the alphabet. +To what use do I devote them? I receive a bill--say from Jones. I +docket it neatly at the secretaire, JONES, and I put it into +pigeonhole J. It's the next thing to a receipt and is quite as +satisfactory to ME. And I very much wish, Mortimer,' sitting on +his bed, with the air of a philosopher lecturing a disciple, 'that my +example might induce YOU to cultivate habits of punctuality and +method; and, by means of the moral influences with which I have +surrounded you, to encourage the formation of the domestic +virtues.' + +Mortimer laughed again, with his usual commentaries of 'How +CAN you be so ridiculous, Eugene!' and 'What an absurd fellow +you are!' but when his laugh was out, there was something serious, +if not anxious, in his face. Despite that pernicious assumption of +lassitude and indifference, which had become his second nature, +he was strongly attached to his friend. He had founded himself +upon Eugene when they were yet boys at school; and at this hour +imitated him no less, admired him no less, loved him no less, than +in those departed days. + +'Eugene,' said he, 'if I could find you in earnest for a minute, I +would try to say an earnest word to you.' + +'An earnest word?' repeated Eugene. 'The moral influences are +beginning to work. Say on.' + +'Well, I will,' returned the other, 'though you are not earnest yet.' + +'In this desire for earnestness,' murmured Eugene, with the air of +one who was meditating deeply, 'I trace the happy influences of +the little flour-barrel and the coffee-mill. Gratifying.' + +'Eugene,' resumed Mortimer, disregarding the light interruption, +and laying a hand upon Eugene's shoulder, as he, Mortimer, stood +before him seated on his bed, 'you are withholding something from +me.' + +Eugene looked at him, but said nothing. + +'All this past summer, you have been withholding something from +me. Before we entered on our boating vacation, you were as bent +upon it as I have seen you upon anything since we first rowed +together. But you cared very little for it when it came, often +found it a tie and a drag upon you, and were constantly away. +Now it was well enough half-a-dozen times, a dozen times, twenty +times, to say to me in your own odd manner, which I know so well +and like so much, that your disappearances were precautions +against our boring one another; but of course after a short while I +began to know that they covered something. I don't ask what it is, +as you have not told me; but the fact is so. Say, is it not?' + +'I give you my word of honour, Mortimer,' returned Eugene, after +a serious pause of a few moments, 'that I don't know.' + +'Don't know, Eugene?' + +'Upon my soul, don't know. I know less about myself than about +most people in the world, and I don't know.' + +'You have some design in your mind?' + +'Have I? I don't think I have.' + +'At any rate, you have some subject of interest there which used +not to be there?' + +'I really can't say,' replied Eugene, shaking his head blankly, after +pausing again to reconsider. 'At times I have thought yes; at other +times I have thought no. Now, I have been inclined to pursue +such a subject; now I have felt that it was absurd, and that it tired +and embarrassed me. Absolutely, I can't say. Frankly and +faithfully, I would if I could.' + +So replying, he clapped a hand, in his turn, on his friend's +shoulder, as he rose from his seat upon the bed, and said: + +'You must take your friend as he is. You know what I am, my +dear Mortimer. You know how dreadfully susceptible I am to +boredom. You know that when I became enough of a man to find +myself an embodied conundrum, I bored myself to the last degree +by trying to find out what I meant. You know that at length I gave +it up, and declined to guess any more. Then how can I possibly +give you the answer that I have not discovered? The old nursery +form runs, "Riddle-me-riddle-me-ree, p'raps you can't tell me what +this may be?" My reply runs, "No. Upon my life, I can't."' + +So much of what was fantastically true to his own knowledge of +this utterly careless Eugene, mingled with the answer, that +Mortimer could not receive it as a mere evasion. Besides, it was +given with an engaging air of openness, and of special exemption +of the one friend he valued, from his reckless indifference. + +'Come, dear boy!' said Eugene. 'Let us try the effect of smoking. +If it enlightens me at all on this question, I will impart +unreservedly.' + +They returned to the room they had come from, and, finding it +heated, opened a window. Having lighted their cigars, they leaned +out of this window, smoking, and looking down at the moonlight, +as it shone into the court below. + +'No enlightenment,' resumed Eugene, after certain minutes of +silence. 'I feel sincerely apologetic, my dear Mortimer, but +nothing comes.' + +'If nothing comes,' returned Mortimer, 'nothing can come from it. +So I shall hope that this may hold good throughout, and that there +may be nothing on foot. Nothing injurious to you, Eugene, or--' + +Eugene stayed him for a moment with his hand on his arm, while +he took a piece of earth from an old flowerpot on the window-sill +and dexterously shot it at a little point of light opposite; having +done which to his satisfaction, he said, 'Or?' + +'Or injurious to any one else.' + +'How,' said Eugene, taking another little piece of earth, and +shooting it with great precision at the former mark, 'how injurious +to any one else?' + +'I don't know.' + +'And,' said Eugene, taking, as he said the word, another shot, 'to +whom else?' + +'I don't know.' + +Checking himself with another piece of earth in his hand, Eugene +looked at his friend inquiringly and a little suspiciously. There +was no concealed or half-expressed meaning in his face. + +'Two belated wanderers in the mazes of the law,' said Eugene, +attracted by the sound of footsteps, and glancing down as he +spoke, 'stray into the court. They examine the door-posts of +number one, seeking the name they want. Not finding it at +number one, they come to number two. On the hat of wanderer +number two, the shorter one, I drop this pellet. Hitting him on the +hat, I smoke serenely, and become absorbed in contemplation of +the sky.' + +Both the wanderers looked up towards the window; but, after +interchanging a mutter or two, soon applied themselves to the +door-posts below. There they seemed to discover what they +wanted, for they disappeared from view by entering at the +doorway. 'When they emerge,' said Eugene, 'you shall see me +bring them both down'; and so prepared two pellets for the +purpose. + +He had not reckoned on their seeking his name, or Lightwood's. +But either the one or the other would seem to be in question, for +now there came a knock at the door. 'I am on duty to-night,' said +Mortimer, 'stay you where you are, Eugene.' Requiring no +persuasion, he stayed there, smoking quietly, and not at all curious +to know who knocked, until Mortimer spoke to him from within +the room, and touched him. Then, drawing in his head, he found +the visitors to be young Charley Hexam and the schoolmaster; +both standing facing him, and both recognized at a glance. + +'You recollect this young fellow, Eugene?' said Mortimer. + +'Let me look at him,' returned Wrayburn, coolly. 'Oh, yes, yes. I +recollect him!' + +He had not been about to repeat that former action of taking him +by the chin, but the boy had suspected him of it, and had thrown +up his arm with an angry start. Laughingly, Wrayburn looked to +Lightwood for an explanation of this odd visit. + +'He says he has something to say.' + +'Surely it must be to you, Mortimer.' + +'So I thought, but he says no. He says it is to you.' + +'Yes, I do say so,' interposed the boy. 'And I mean to say what I +want to say, too, Mr Eugene Wrayburn!' + +Passing him with his eyes as if there were nothing where he stood, +Eugene looked on to Bradley Headstone. With consummate +indolence, he turned to Mortimer, inquiring: 'And who may this +other person be?' + +'I am Charles Hexam's friend,' said Bradley; 'I am Charles +Hexam's schoolmaster.' + +'My good sir, you should teach your pupils better manners,' +returned Eugene. + +Composedly smoking, he leaned an elbow on the chimneypiece, at +the side of the fire, and looked at the schoolmaster. It was a cruel +look, in its cold disdain of him, as a creature of no worth. The +schoolmaster looked at him, and that, too, was a cruel look, +though of the different kind, that it had a raging jealousy and fiery +wrath in it. + +Very remarkably, neither Eugene Wrayburn nor Bradley +Headstone looked at all at the boy. Through the ensuing dialogue, +those two, no matter who spoke, or whom was addressed, looked +at each other. There was some secret, sure perception between +them, which set them against one another in all ways. + +'In some high respects, Mr Eugene Wrayburn,' said Bradley, +answering him with pale and quivering lips, 'the natural feelings of +my pupils are stronger than my teaching.' + +'In most respects, I dare say,' replied Eugene, enjoying his cigar, +'though whether high or low is of no importance. You have my +name very correctly. Pray what is yours?' + +'It cannot concern you much to know, but--' + +'True,' interposed Eugene, striking sharply and cutting him short at +his mistake, 'it does not concern me at all to know. I can say +Schoolmaster, which is a most respectable title. You are right, +Schoolmaster.' + +It was not the dullest part of this goad in its galling of Bradley +Headstone, that he had made it himself in a moment of incautious +anger. He tried to set his lips so as to prevent their quivering, but +they quivered fast. + +'Mr Eugene Wrayburn,' said the boy, 'I want a word with you. I +have wanted it so much, that we have looked out your address in +the book, and we have been to your office, and we have come +from your office here.' + +'You have given yourself much trouble, Schoolmaster,' observed +Eugene, blowing the feathery ash from his cigar. 'I hope it may +prove remunerative.' + +'And I am glad to speak,' pursued the boy, 'in presence of Mr +Lightwood, because it was through Mr Lightwood that you ever +saw my sister.' + +For a mere moment, Wrayburn turned his eyes aside from the +schoolmaster to note the effect of the last word on Mortimer, who, +standing on the opposite side of the fire, as soon as the word was +spoken, turned his face towards the fire and looked down into it. + +'Similarly, it was through Mr Lightwood that you ever saw her +again, for you were with him on the night when my father was +found, and so I found you with her on the next day. Since then, +you have seen my sister often. You have seen my sister oftener +and oftener. And I want to know why?' + +'Was this worth while, Schoolmaster?' murmured Eugene, with the +air of a disinterested adviser. 'So much trouble for nothing? You +should know best, but I think not.' + +'I don't know, Mr Wrayburn,' answered Bradley, with his passion +rising, 'why you address me--' + +'Don't you? said Eugene. 'Then I won't.' + +He said it so tauntingly in his perfect placidity, that the +respectable right-hand clutching the respectable hair-guard of the +respectable watch could have wound it round his throat and +strangled him with it. Not another word did Eugene deem it worth +while to utter, but stood leaning his head upon his hand, smoking, +and looking imperturbably at the chafing Bradley Headstone with +his clutching right-hand, until Bradley was wellnigh mad. + +'Mr Wrayburn,' proceeded the boy, 'we not only know this that I +have charged upon you, but we know more. It has not yet come +to my sister's knowledge that we have found it out, but we have. +We had a plan, Mr Headstone and I, for my sister's education, and +for its being advised and overlooked by Mr Headstone, who is a +much more competent authority, whatever you may pretend to +think, as you smoke, than you could produce, if you tried. Then, +what do we find? What do we find, Mr Lightwood? Why, we +find that my sister is already being taught, without our knowing it. +We find that while my sister gives an unwilling and cold ear to our +schemes for her advantage--I, her brother, and Mr Headstone, the +most competent authority, as his certificates would easily prove, +that could be produced--she is wilfully and willingly profiting by +other schemes. Ay, and taking pains, too, for I know what such +pains are. And so does Mr Headstone! Well! Somebody pays for +this, is a thought that naturally occurs to us; who pays? We apply +ourselves to find out, Mr Lightwood, and we find that your friend, +this Mr Eugene Wrayburn, here, pays. Then I ask him what right +has he to do it, and what does he mean by it, and how comes he to +be taking such a liberty without my consent, when I am raising +myself in the scale of society by my own exertions and Mr +Headstone's aid, and have no right to have any darkness cast upon +my prospects, or any imputation upon my respectability, through +my sister?' + +The boyish weakness of this speech, combined with its great +selfishness, made it a poor one indeed. And yet Bradley +Headstone, used to the little audience of a school, and unused to +the larger ways of men, showed a kind of exultation in it. + +'Now I tell Mr Eugene Wrayburn,' pursued the boy, forced into +the use of the third person by the hopelessness of addressing him +in the first, 'that I object to his having any acquaintance at all with +my sister, and that I request him to drop it altogether. He is not to +take it into his head that I am afraid of my sister's caring for HIM--' + +(As the boy sneered, the Master sneered, and Eugene blew off the +feathery ash again.) + +--'But I object to it, and that's enough. I am more important to +my sister than he thinks. As I raise myself, I intend to raise her; +she knows that, and she has to look to me for her prospects. Now +I understand all this very well, and so does Mr Headstone. My +sister is an excellent girl, but she has some romantic notions; not +about such things as your Mr Eugene Wrayburns, but about the +death of my father and other matters of that sort. Mr Wrayburn +encourages those notions to make himself of importance, and so +she thinks she ought to be grateful to him, and perhaps even likes +to be. Now I don't choose her to be grateful to him, or to be +grateful to anybody but me, except Mr Headstone. And I tell Mr +Wrayburn that if he don't take heed of what I say, it will be worse +for her. Let him turn that over in his memory, and make sure of it. +Worse for her!' + +A pause ensued, in which the schoolmaster looked very awkward. + +'May I suggest, Schoolmaster,' said Eugene, removing his fast- +waning cigar from his lips to glance at it, 'that you can now take +your pupil away.' + +'And Mr Lightwood,' added the boy, with a burning face, under +the flaming aggravation of getting no sort of answer or attention, 'I +hope you'll take notice of what I have said to your friend, and of +what your friend has heard me say, word by word, whatever he +pretends to the contrary. You are bound to take notice of it, Mr +Lightwood, for, as I have already mentioned, you first brought +your friend into my sister's company, and but for you we never +should have seen him. Lord knows none of us ever wanted him, +any more than any of us will ever miss him. Now Mr Headstone, +as Mr Eugene Wrayburn has been obliged to hear what I had to +say, and couldn't help himself, and as I have said it out to the last +word, we have done all we wanted to do, and may go.' + +'Go down-stairs, and leave me a moment, Hexam,' he returned. +The boy complying with an indignant look and as much noise as +he could make, swung out of the room; and Lightwood went to +the window, and leaned there, looking out. + +'You think me of no more value than the dirt under your feet,' said +Bradley to Eugene, speaking in a carefully weighed and measured +tone, or he could not have spoken at all. + +'I assure you, Schoolmaster,' replied Eugene, 'I don't think about +you.' + +'That's not true,' returned the other; 'you know better.' + +'That's coarse,' Eugene retorted; 'but you DON'T know better.' + +'Mr Wrayburn, at least I know very well that it would be idle to +set myself against you in insolent words or overbearing manners. +That lad who has just gone out could put you to shame in half-a- +dozen branches of knowledge in half an hour, but you can throw +him aside like an inferior. You can do as much by me, I have no +doubt, beforehand.' + +'Possibly,' remarked Eugene. + +'But I am more than a lad,' said Bradley, with his clutching hand, +'and I WILL be heard, sir.' + +'As a schoolmaster,' said Eugene, 'you are always being heard. +That ought to content you.' + +'But it does not content me,' replied the other, white with passion. +'Do you suppose that a man, in forming himself for the duties I +discharge, and in watching and repressing himself daily to +discharge them well, dismisses a man's nature?' + +'I suppose you,' said Eugene, 'judging from what I see as I look at +you, to be rather too passionate for a good schoolmaster.' As he +spoke, he tossed away the end of his cigar. + +'Passionate with you, sir, I admit I am. Passionate with you, sir, I +respect myself for being. But I have not Devils for my pupils.' + +'For your Teachers, I should rather say,' replied Eugene. + +'Mr Wrayburn.' + +'Schoolmaster.' + +'Sir, my name is Bradley Headstone.' + +'As you justly said, my good sir, your name cannot concern me. +Now, what more?' + +'This more. Oh, what a misfortune is mine,' cried Bradley, +breaking off to wipe the starting perspiration from his face as he +shook from head to foot, 'that I cannot so control myself as to +appear a stronger creature than this, when a man who has not felt +in all his life what I have felt in a day can so command himself!' +He said it in a very agony, and even followed it with an errant +motion of his hands as if he could have torn himself. + +Eugene Wrayburn looked on at him, as if he found him beginning +to be rather an entertaining study. + +'Mr Wrayburn, I desire to say something to you on my own part.' + +'Come, come, Schoolmaster,' returned Eugene, with a languid +approach to impatience as the other again struggled with himself; +'say what you have to say. And let me remind you that the door is +standing open, and your young friend waiting for you on the +stairs.' + +'When I accompanied that youth here, sir, I did so with the +purpose of adding, as a man whom you should not be permitted to +put aside, in case you put him aside as a boy, that his instinct is +correct and right.' Thus Bradley Headstone, with great effort and +difficulty. + +'Is that all?' asked Eugene. + +'No, sir,' said the other, flushed and fierce. 'I strongly support him +in his disapproval of your visits to his sister, and in his objection to +your officiousness--and worse--in what you have taken upon +yourself to do for her.' + +'Is THAT all?' asked Eugene. + +'No, sir. I determined to tell you that you are not justified in these +proceedings, and that they are injurious to his sister.' + +'Are you her schoolmaster as well as her brother's?--Or perhaps +you would like to be?' said Eugene. + +It was a stab that the blood followed, in its rush to Bradley +Headstone's face, as swiftly as if it had been dealt with a dagger. +'What do you mean by that?' was as much as he could utter. + +'A natural ambition enough,' said Eugene, coolly. Far be it from +me to say otherwise. The sister who is something too much upon +your lips, perhaps--is so very different from all the associations to +which she had been used, and from all the low obscure people +about her, that it is a very natural ambition.' + +'Do you throw my obscurity in my teeth, Mr Wrayburn?' + +'That can hardly be, for I know nothing concerning it, +Schoolmaster, and seek to know nothing.' + +'You reproach me with my origin,' said Bradley Headstone; 'you +cast insinuations at my bringing-up. But I tell you, sir, I have +worked my way onward, out of both and in spite of both, and +have a right to be considered a better man than you, with better +reasons for being proud.' + +'How I can reproach you with what is not within my knowledge, +or how I can cast stones that were never in my hand, is a problem +for the ingenuity of a schoolmaster to prove,' returned Eugene. 'Is +THAT all?' + +'No, sir. If you suppose that boy--' + +'Who really will be tired of waiting,' said Eugene, politely. + +'If you suppose that boy to be friendless, Mr Wrayburn, you +deceive yourself. I am his friend, and you shall find me so.' + +'And you will find HIM on the stairs,' remarked Eugene. + +'You may have promised yourself, sir, that you could do what you +chose here, because you had to deal with a mere boy, +inexperienced, friendless, and unassisted. But I give you warning +that this mean calculation is wrong. You have to do with a man +also. You have to do with me. I will support him, and, if need be, +require reparation for him. My hand and heart are in this cause, +and are open to him.' + +'And--quite a coincidence--the door is open,' remarked Eugene. + +'I scorn your shifty evasions, and I scorn you,' said the +schoolmaster. 'In the meanness of your nature you revile me with +the meanness of my birth. I hold you in contempt for it. But if +you don't profit by this visit, and act accordingly, you will find me +as bitterly in earnest against you as I could be if I deemed you +worth a second thought on my own account.' + +With a consciously bad grace and stiff manner, as Wrayburn +looked so easily and calmly on, he went out with these words, and +the heavy door closed like a furnace-door upon his red and white +heats of rage. + +'A curious monomaniac,' said Eugene. 'The man seems to believe +that everybody was acquainted with his mother!' + +Mortimer Lightwood being still at the window, to which he had in +delicacy withdrawn, Eugene called to him, and he fell to slowly +pacing the room. + +'My dear fellow,' said Eugene, as he lighted another cigar, 'I fear +my unexpected visitors have been troublesome. If as a set-off +(excuse the legal phrase from a barrister-at-law) you would like to +ask Tippins to tea, I pledge myself to make love to her.' + +'Eugene, Eugene, Eugene,' replied Mortimer, still pacing the room, +'I am sorry for this. And to think that I have been so blind!' + +'How blind, dear boy?' inquired his unmoved friend. + +'What were your words that night at the river-side public-house?' +said Lightwood, stopping. 'What was it that you asked me? Did I +feel like a dark combination of traitor and pickpocket when I +thought of that girl?' + +'I seem to remember the expression,' said Eugene. + +'How do YOU feel when you think of her just now?' + +His friend made no direct reply, but observed, after a few whiffs +of his cigar, 'Don't mistake the situation. There is no better girl in +all this London than Lizzie Hexam. There is no better among my +people at home; no better among your people.' + +'Granted. What follows?' + +'There,' said Eugene, looking after him dubiously as he paced +away to the other end of the room, 'you put me again upon +guessing the riddle that I have given up.' + +'Eugene, do you design to capture and desert this girl?' + +'My dear fellow, no.' + +'Do you design to marry her?' + +'My dear fellow, no.' + +'Do you design to pursue her?' + +'My dear fellow, I don't design anything. I have no design +whatever. I am incapable of designs. If I conceived a design, I +should speedily abandon it, exhausted by the operation.' + +'Oh Eugene, Eugene!' + +'My dear Mortimer, not that tone of melancholy reproach, I +entreat. What can I do more than tell you all I know, and +acknowledge my ignorance of all I don't know! How does that +little old song go, which, under pretence of being cheerful, is by +far the most lugubrious I ever heard in my life? + + "Away with melancholy, + Nor doleful changes ring + On life and human folly, + But merrily merrily sing + Fal la!" + +Don't let us sing Fal la, my dear Mortimer (which is comparatively +unmeaning), but let us sing that we give up guessing the riddle +altogether.' + +'Are you in communication with this girl, Eugene, and is what +these people say true?' + +'I concede both admissions to my honourable and learned friend.' + +'Then what is to come of it? What are you doing? Where are you +going?' + +'My dear Mortimer, one would think the schoolmaster had left +behind him a catechizing infection. You are ruffled by the want +of another cigar. Take one of these, I entreat. Light it at mine, +which is in perfect order. So! Now do me the justice to observe +that I am doing all I can towards self-improvement, and that you +have a light thrown on those household implements which, when +you only saw them as in a glass darkly, you were hastily--I must +say hastily--inclined to depreciate. Sensible of my deficiencies, I +have surrounded myself with moral influences expressly meant to +promote the formation of the domestic virtues. To those +influences, and to the improving society of my friend from +boyhood, commend me with your best wishes.' + +'Ah, Eugene!' said Lightwood, affectionately, now standing near +him, so that they both stood in one little cloud of smoke; 'I would +that you answered my three questions! What is to come of it? +What are you doing? Where are you going?' + +'And my dear Mortimer,' returned Eugene, lightly fanning away +the smoke with his hand for the better exposition of his frankness +of face and manner, 'believe me, I would answer them instantly if +I could. But to enable me to do so, I must first have found out the +troublesome conundrum long abandoned. Here it is. Eugene +Wrayburn.' Tapping his forehead and breast. 'Riddle-me, riddle- +me-ree, perhaps you can't tell me what this may be?--No, upon my +life I can't. I give it up!' + + + +Chapter 7 + +IN WHICH A FRIENDLY MOVE IS ORIGINATED + + +The arrangement between Mr Boffin and his literary man, Mr +Silas Wegg, so far altered with the altered habits of Mr Boffin's +life, as that the Roman Empire usually declined in the morning +and in the eminently aristocratic family mansion, rather than in the +evening, as of yore, and in Boffin's Bower. There were occasions, +however, when Mr Boffin, seeking a brief refuge from the +blandishments of fashion, would present himself at the Bower +after dark, to anticipate the next sallying forth of Wegg, and +would there, on the old settle, pursue the downward fortunes of +those enervated and corrupted masters of the world who were by +this time on their last legs. If Wegg had been worse paid for his +office, or better qualified to discharge it, he would have +considered these visits complimentary and agreeable; but, holding +the position of a handsomely-remunerated humbug, he resented +them. This was quite according to rule, for the incompetent +servant, by whomsoever employed, is always against his +employer. Even those born governors, noble and right honourable +creatures, who have been the most imbecile in high places, have +uniformly shown themselves the most opposed (sometimes in +belying distrust, sometimes in vapid insolence) to THEIR +employer. What is in such wise true of the public master and +servant, is equally true of the private master and servant all the +world over. + +When Mr Silas Wegg did at last obtain free access to 'Our House', +as he had been wont to call the mansion outside which he had sat +shelterless so long, and when he did at last find it in all particulars +as different from his mental plans of it as according to the nature +of things it well could be, that far-seeing and far-reaching +character, by way of asserting himself and making out a case for +compensation, affected to fall into a melancholy strain of musing +over the mournful past; as if the house and he had had a fall in life +together. + +'And this, sir,' Silas would say to his patron, sadly nodding his head +and musing, 'was once Our House! This, sir, is the building from +which I have so often seen those great creatures, Miss Elizabeth, +Master George, Aunt Jane, and Uncle Parker'--whose very names +were of his own inventing--'pass and repass! And has it come to +this, indeed! Ah dear me, dear me!' + +So tender were his lamentations, that the kindly Mr Boffin was +quite sorry for him, and almost felt mistrustful that in buying the +house he had done him an irreparable injury. + +Two or three diplomatic interviews, the result of great subtlety on +Mr Wegg's part, but assuming the mask of careless yielding to a +fortuitous combination of circumstances impelling him towards +Clerkenwell, had enabled him to complete his bargain with Mr +Venus. + +'Bring me round to the Bower,' said Silas, when the bargain was +closed, 'next Saturday evening, and if a sociable glass of old +Jamaikey warm should meet your views, I am not the man to +begrudge it.' + +'You are aware of my being poor company, sir,' replied Mr Venus, +'but be it so.' + +It being so, here is Saturday evening come, and here is Mr Venus +come, and ringing at the Bower-gate. + +Mr Wegg opens the gate, descries a sort of brown paper truncheon +under Mr Venus's arm, and remarks, in a dry tone: 'Oh! I thought +perhaps you might have come in a cab.' + +'No, Mr Wegg,' replies Venus. 'I am not above a parcel.' + +'Above a parcel! No!' says Wegg, with some dissatisfaction. But +does not openly growl, 'a certain sort of parcel might be above +you.' + +'Here is your purchase, Mr Wegg,' says Venus, politely handing it +over, 'and I am glad to restore it to the source from whence it-- +flowed.' + +'Thankee,' says Wegg. 'Now this affair is concluded, I may +mention to you in a friendly way that I've my doubts whether, if I +had consulted a lawyer, you could have kept this article back from +me. I only throw it out as a legal point.' + +'Do you think so, Mr Wegg? I bought you in open contract.' + +'You can't buy human flesh and blood in this country, sir; not +alive, you can't,' says Wegg, shaking his head. 'Then query, bone?' + +'As a legal point?' asks Venus. + +'As a legal point.' + +'I am not competent to speak upon that, Mr Wegg,' says Venus, +reddening and growing something louder; 'but upon a point of fact +I think myself competent to speak; and as a point of fact I would +have seen you--will you allow me to say, further?' + +'I wouldn't say more than further, if I was you,' Mr Wegg suggests, +pacifically. + +--'Before I'd have given that packet into your hand without being +paid my price for it. I don't pretend to know how the point of law +may stand, but I'm thoroughly confident upon the point of fact.' + +As Mr Venus is irritable (no doubt owing to his disappointment in +love), and as it is not the cue of Mr Wegg to have him out of +temper, the latter gentleman soothingly remarks, 'I only put it as a +little case; I only put it ha'porthetically.' + +'Then I'd rather, Mr Wegg, you put it another time, penn'orth- +etically,' is Mr Venus's retort, 'for I tell you candidly I don't like +your little cases.' + +Arrived by this time in Mr Wegg's sitting-room, made bright on +the chilly evening by gaslight and fire, Mr Venus softens and +compliments him on his abode; profiting by the occasion to +remind Wegg that he (Venus) told him he had got into a good +thing. + +'Tolerable,' Wegg rejoins. 'But bear in mind, Mr Venus, that +there's no gold without its alloy. Mix for yourself and take a seat +in the chimbley-corner. Will you perform upon a pipe, sir?' + +'I am but an indifferent performer, sir,' returns the other; 'but I'll +accompany you with a whiff or two at intervals.' + +So, Mr Venus mixes, and Wegg mixes; and Mr Venus lights and +puffs, and Wegg lights and puffs. + +'And there's alloy even in this metal of yours, Mr Wegg, you was +remarking?' + +'Mystery,' returns Wegg. 'I don't like it, Mr Venus. I don't like to +have the life knocked out of former inhabitants of this house, in +the gloomy dark, and not know who did it.' + +'Might you have any suspicions, Mr Wegg?' + +'No,' returns that gentleman. 'I know who profits by it. But I've +no suspicions.' + +Having said which, Mr Wegg smokes and looks at the fire with a +most determined expression of Charity; as if he had caught that +cardinal virtue by the skirts as she felt it her painful duty to depart +from him, and held her by main force. + +'Similarly,' resumes Wegg, 'I have observations as I can offer upon +certain points and parties; but I make no objections, Mr Venus. +Here is an immense fortune drops from the clouds upon a person +that shall be nameless. Here is a weekly allowance, with a certain +weight of coals, drops from the clouds upon me. Which of us is +the better man? Not the person that shall be nameless. That's an +observation of mine, but I don't make it an objection. I take my +allowance and my certain weight of coals. He takes his fortune. +That's the way it works.' + +'It would be a good thing for me, if I could see things in the calm +light you do, Mr Wegg.' + +'Again look here,' pursues Silas, with an oratorical flourish of his +pipe and his wooden leg: the latter having an undignified tendency +to tilt him back in his chair; 'here's another observation, Mr Venus, +unaccompanied with an objection. Him that shall be nameless is +liable to be talked over. He gets talked over. Him that shall be +nameless, having me at his right hand, naturally looking to be +promoted higher, and you may perhaps say meriting to be +promoted higher--' + +(Mr Venus murmurs that he does say so.) + +'--Him that shall be nameless, under such circumstances passes me +by, and puts a talking-over stranger above my head. Which of us +two is the better man? Which of us two can repeat most poetry? +Which of us two has, in the service of him that shall be nameless, +tackled the Romans, both civil and military, till he has got as +husky as if he'd been weaned and ever since brought up on +sawdust? Not the talking-over stranger. Yet the house is as free +to him as if it was his, and he has his room, and is put upon a +footing, and draws about a thousand a year. I am banished to the +Bower, to be found in it like a piece of furniture whenever +wanted. Merit, therefore, don't win. That's the way it works. I +observe it, because I can't help observing it, being accustomed to +take a powerful sight of notice; but I don't object. Ever here +before, Mr Venus?' + +'Not inside the gate, Mr Wegg.' + +'You've been as far as the gate then, Mr Venus?' + +'Yes, Mr Wegg, and peeped in from curiosity.' + +'Did you see anything?' + +'Nothing but the dust-yard.' + +Mr Wegg rolls his eyes all round the room, in that ever unsatisfied +quest of his, and then rolls his eyes all round Mr Venus; as if +suspicious of his having something about him to be found out. + +'And yet, sir,' he pursues, 'being acquainted with old Mr Harmon, +one would have thought it might have been polite in you, too, to +give him a call. And you're naturally of a polite disposition, you +are.' This last clause as a softening compliment to Mr Venus. + +'It is true, sir,' replies Venus, winking his weak eyes, and running +his fingers through his dusty shock of hair, 'that I was so, before a +certain observation soured me. You understand to what I allude, +Mr Wegg? To a certain written statement respecting not wishing +to be regarded in a certain light. Since that, all is fled, save gall.' + +'Not all,' says Mr Wegg, in a tone of sentimental condolence. + +'Yes, sir,' returns Venus, 'all! The world may deem it harsh, but I'd +quite as soon pitch into my best friend as not. Indeed, I'd sooner!' + +Involuntarily making a pass with his wooden leg to guard himself +as Mr Venus springs up in the emphasis of this unsociable +declaration, Mr Wegg tilts over on his back, chair and all, and is +rescued by that harmless misanthrope, in a disjointed state and +ruefully rubbing his head. + +'Why, you lost your balance, Mr Wegg,' says Venus, handing him +his pipe. + +'And about time to do it,' grumbles Silas, 'when a man's visitors, +without a word of notice, conduct themselves with the sudden +wiciousness of Jacks-in-boxes! Don't come flying out of your +chair like that, Mr Venus!' + +'I ask your pardon, Mr Wegg. I am so soured.' + +'Yes, but hang it,' says Wegg argumentatively, 'a well-governed +mind can be soured sitting! And as to being regarded in lights, +there's bumpey lights as well as bony. IN which,' again rubbing +his head, 'I object to regard myself.' + +'I'll bear it in memory, sir.' + +'If you'll be so good.' Mr Wegg slowly subdues his ironical tone +and his lingering irritation, and resumes his pipe. 'We were talking +of old Mr Harmon being a friend of yours.' + +'Not a friend, Mr Wegg. Only known to speak to, and to have a +little deal with now and then. A very inquisitive character, Mr +Wegg, regarding what was found in the dust. As inquisitive as +secret.' + +'Ah! You found him secret?' returns Wegg, with a greedy relish. + +'He had always the look of it, and the manner of it.' + +'Ah!' with another roll of his eyes. 'As to what was found in the +dust now. Did you ever hear him mention how he found it, my +dear friend? Living on the mysterious premises, one would like to +know. For instance, where he found things? Or, for instance, how +he set about it? Whether he began at the top of the mounds, or +whether he began at the bottom. Whether he prodded'; Mr +Wegg's pantomime is skilful and expressive here; 'or whether he +scooped? Should you say scooped, my dear Mr Venus; or should +you as a man--say prodded?' + +'I should say neither, Mr Wegg.' + +'As a fellow-man, Mr Venus--mix again--why neither?' + +'Because I suppose, sir, that what was found, was found in the +sorting and sifting. All the mounds are sorted and sifted?' + +'You shall see 'em and pass your opinion. Mix again.' + +On each occasion of his saying 'mix again', Mr Wegg, with a hop +on his wooden leg, hitches his chair a little nearer; more as if he +were proposing that himself and Mr Venus should mix again, than +that they should replenish their glasses. + +'Living (as I said before) on the mysterious premises,' says Wegg +when the other has acted on his hospitable entreaty, 'one likes to +know. Would you be inclined to say now--as a brother--that he +ever hid things in the dust, as well as found 'em?' + +'Mr Wegg, on the whole I should say he might.' + +Mr Wegg claps on his spectacles, and admiringly surveys Mr +Venus from head to foot. + +'As a mortal equally with myself, whose hand I take in mine for +the first time this day, having unaccountably overlooked that act +so full of boundless confidence binding a fellow-creetur TO a +fellow creetur,' says Wegg, holding Mr Venus's palm out, flat and +ready for smiting, and now smiting it; 'as such--and no other--for I +scorn all lowlier ties betwixt myself and the man walking with his +face erect that alone I call my Twin--regarded and regarding in +this trustful bond--what do you think he might have hid?' + +'It is but a supposition, Mr Wegg.' + +'As a Being with his hand upon his heart,' cries Wegg; and the +apostrophe is not the less impressive for the Being's hand being +actually upon his rum and water; 'put your supposition into +language, and bring it out, Mr Venus!' + +'He was the species of old gentleman, sir,' slowly returns that +practical anatomist, after drinking, 'that I should judge likely to +take such opportunities as this place offered, of stowing away +money, valuables, maybe papers.' + +'As one that was ever an ornament to human life,' says Mr Wegg, +again holding out Mr Venus's palm as if he were going to tell his +fortune by chiromancy, and holding his own up ready for smiting +it when the time should come; 'as one that the poet might have +had his eye on, in writing the national naval words: + + Helm a-weather, now lay her close, + Yard arm and yard arm she lies; + Again, cried I, Mr Venus, give her t'other dose, + Man shrouds and grapple, sir, or she flies! + +--that is to say, regarded in the light of true British Oak, for such +you are explain, Mr Venus, the expression "papers"!' + +'Seeing that the old gentleman was generally cutting off some near +relation, or blocking out some natural affection,' Mr Venus rejoins, +'he most likely made a good many wills and codicils.' + +The palm of Silas Wegg descends with a sounding smack upon the +palm of Venus, and Wegg lavishly exclaims, 'Twin in opinion +equally with feeling! Mix a little more!' + +Having now hitched his wooden leg and his chair close in front of +Mr Venus, Mr Wegg rapidly mixes for both, gives his visitor his +glass, touches its rim with the rim of his own, puts his own to his +lips, puts it down, and spreading his hands on his visitor's knees +thus addresses him: + +'Mr Venus. It ain't that I object to being passed over for a +stranger, though I regard the stranger as a more than doubtful +customer. It ain't for the sake of making money, though money is +ever welcome. It ain't for myself, though I am not so haughty as +to be above doing myself a good turn. It's for the cause of the +right.' + +Mr Venus, passively winking his weak eyes both at once, +demands: 'What is, Mr Wegg?' + +'The friendly move, sir, that I now propose. You see the move, +sir?' + +'Till you have pointed it out, Mr Wegg, I can't say whether I do or +not.' + +'If there IS anything to be found on these premises, let us find it +together. Let us make the friendly move of agreeing to look for it +together. Let us make the friendly move of agreeing to share the +profits of it equally betwixt us. In the cause of the right.' Thus +Silas assuming a noble air. + +'Then,' says Mr Venus, looking up, after meditating with his hair +held in his hands, as if he could only fix his attention by fixing his +head; 'if anything was to be unburied from under the dust, it would +be kept a secret by you and me? Would that be it, Mr Wegg?' + +'That would depend upon what it was, Mr Venus. Say it was +money, or plate, or jewellery, it would be as much ours as +anybody else's.' + +Mr Venus rubs an eyebrow, interrogatively. + +'In the cause of the right it would. Because it would be +unknowingly sold with the mounds else, and the buyer would get +what he was never meant to have, and never bought. And what +would that be, Mr Venus, but the cause of the wrong?' + +'Say it was papers,' Mr Venus propounds. + +'According to what they contained we should offer to dispose of +'em to the parties most interested,' replies Wegg, promptly. + +'In the cause of the right, Mr Wegg?' + +'Always so, Mr Venus. If the parties should use them in the cause +of the wrong, that would be their act and deed. Mr Venus. I have +an opinion of you, sir, to which it is not easy to give mouth. Since +I called upon you that evening when you were, as I may say, +floating your powerful mind in tea, I have felt that you required to +be roused with an object. In this friendly move, sir, you will have +a glorious object to rouse you.' + +Mr Wegg then goes on to enlarge upon what throughout has been +uppermost in his crafty mind:--the qualifications of Mr Venus for +such a search. He expatiates on Mr Venus's patient habits and +delicate manipulation; on his skill in piecing little things together; +on his knowledge of various tissues and textures; on the likelihood +of small indications leading him on to the discovery of great +concealments. 'While as to myself,' says Wegg, 'I am not good at +it. Whether I gave myself up to prodding, or whether I gave +myself up to scooping, I couldn't do it with that delicate touch so +as not to show that I was disturbing the mounds. Quite different +with YOU, going to work (as YOU would) in the light of a fellow- +man, holily pledged in a friendly move to his brother man.' Mr +Wegg next modestly remarks on the want of adaptation in a +wooden leg to ladders and such like airy perches, and also hints at +an inherent tendency in that timber fiction, when called into +action for the purposes of a promenade on an ashey slope, to stick +itself into the yielding foothold, and peg its owner to one spot. +Then, leaving this part of the subject, he remarks on the special +phenomenon that before his installation in the Bower, it was from +Mr Venus that he first heard of the legend of hidden wealth in the +Mounds: 'which', he observes with a vaguely pious air, 'was surely +never meant for nothing.' Lastly, he returns to the cause of the +right, gloomily foreshadowing the possibility of something being +unearthed to criminate Mr Boffin (of whom he once more +candidly admits it cannot be denied that he profits by a murder), +and anticipating his denunciation by the friendly movers to +avenging justice. And this, Mr Wegg expressly points out, not at +all for the sake of the reward--though it would be a want of +principle not to take it. + +To all this, Mr Venus, with his shock of dusty hair cocked after +the manner of a terrier's ears, attends profoundly. When Mr +Wegg, having finished, opens his arms wide, as if to show Mr +Venus how bare his breast is, and then folds them pending a reply, +Mr Venus winks at him with both eyes some little time before +speaking. + +'I see you have tried it by yourself, Mr Wegg,' he says when he +does speak. 'You have found out the difficulties by experience.' + +'No, it can hardly be said that I have tried it,' replies Wegg, a little +dashed by the hint. 'I have just skimmed it. Skimmed it.' + +'And found nothing besides the difficulties?' + +Wegg shakes his head. + +'I scarcely know what to say to this, Mr Wegg,' observes Venus, +after ruminating for a while. + +'Say yes,' Wegg naturally urges. + +'If I wasn't soured, my answer would be no. But being soured, Mr +Wegg, and driven to reckless madness and desperation, I suppose +it's Yes.' + +Wegg joyfully reproduces the two glasses, repeats the ceremony +of clinking their rims, and inwardly drinks with great heartiness to +the health and success in life of the young lady who has reduced +Mr Venus to his present convenient state of mind. + +The articles of the friendly move are then severally recited and +agreed upon. They are but secrecy, fidelity, and perseverance. +The Bower to be always free of access to Mr Venus for his +researches, and every precaution to be taken against their +attracting observation in the neighbourhood. + +'There's a footstep!' exclaims Venus. + +'Where?' cries Wegg, starting. + +'Outside. St!' + +They are in the act of ratifying the treaty of friendly move, by +shaking hands upon it. They softly break off, light their pipes +which have gone out, and lean back in their chairs. No doubt, a +footstep. It approaches the window, and a hand taps at the glass. +'Come in!' calls Wegg; meaning come round by the door. But the +heavy old-fashioned sash is slowly raised, and a head slowly looks +in out of the dark background of night. + +'Pray is Mr Silas Wegg here? Oh! I see him!' + +The friendly movers might not have been quite at their ease, even +though the visitor had entered in the usual manner. But, leaning +on the breast-high window, and staring in out of the darkness, they +find the visitor extremely embarrassing. Especially Mr Venus: +who removes his pipe, draws back his head, and stares at the +starer, as if it were his own Hindoo baby come to fetch him home. + +'Good evening, Mr Wegg. The yard gate-lock should be looked +to, if you please; it don't catch.' + +'Is it Mr Rokesmith?' falters Wegg. + +'It is Mr Rokesmith. Don't let me disturb you. I am not coming in. +I have only a message for you, which I undertook to deliver on my +way home to my lodgings. I was in two minds about coming +beyond the gate without ringing: not knowing but you might have +a dog about.' + +'I wish I had,' mutters Wegg, with his back turned as he rose from +his chair. St! Hush! The talking-over stranger, Mr Venus.' + +'Is that any one I know?' inquires the staring Secretary. + +'No, Mr Rokesmith. Friend of mine. Passing the evening with +me.' + +'Oh! I beg his pardon. Mr Boffin wishes you to know that he does +not expect you to stay at home any evening, on the chance of his +coming. It has occurred to him that he may, without intending it, +have been a tie upon you. In future, if he should come without +notice, he will take his chance of finding you, and it will be all the +same to him if he does not. I undertook to tell you on my way. +That's all.' + +With that, and 'Good night,' the Secretary lowers the window, and +disappears. They listen, and hear his footsteps go back to the +gate, and hear the gate close after him. + +'And for that individual, Mr Venus,' remarks Wegg, when he is +fully gone, 'I have been passed over! Let me ask you what you +think of him?' + +Apparently, Mr Venus does not know what to think of him, for he +makes sundry efforts to reply, without delivering himself of any +other articulate utterance than that he has 'a singular look'. + +'A double look, you mean, sir,' rejoins Wegg, playing bitterly upon +the word. 'That's HIS look. Any amount of singular look for me, +but not a double look! That's an under-handed mind, sir.' + +'Do you say there's something against him?' Venus asks. + +'Something against him?' repeats Wegg. 'Something? What would +the relief be to my feelings--as a fellow-man--if I wasn't the slave +of truth, and didn't feel myself compelled to answer, Everything!' + +See into what wonderful maudlin refuges, featherless ostriches +plunge their heads! It is such unspeakable moral compensation to +Wegg, to be overcome by the consideration that Mr Rokesmith +has an underhanded mind! + +'On this starlight night, Mr Venus,' he remarks, when he is showing +that friendly mover out across the yard, and both are something +the worse for mixing again and again: 'on this starlight night to +think that talking-over strangers, and underhanded minds, can go +walking home under the sky, as if they was all square!' + +'The spectacle of those orbs,' says Mr Venus, gazing upward with +his hat tumbling off; 'brings heavy on me her crushing words that +she did not wish to regard herself nor yet to be regarded in that--' + +'I know! I know! You needn't repeat 'em,' says Wegg, pressing +his hand. 'But think how those stars steady me in the cause of the +right against some that shall be nameless. It isn't that I bear +malice. But see how they glisten with old remembrances! Old +remembrances of what, sir?' + +Mr Venus begins drearily replying, 'Of her words, in her own +handwriting, that she does not wish to regard herself, nor yet--' +when Silas cuts him short with dignity. + +'No, sir! Remembrances of Our House, of Master George, of Aunt +Jane, of Uncle Parker, all laid waste! All offered up sacrifices to +the minion of fortune and the worm of the hour!' + + + +Chapter 8 + +IN WHICH AN INNOCENT ELOPEMENT OCCURS + + +The minion of fortune and the worm of the hour, or in less cutting +language, Nicodemus Boffin, Esquire, the Golden Dustman, had +become as much at home in his eminently aristocratic family +mansion as he was likely ever to be. He could not but feel that, +like an eminently aristocratic family cheese, it was much too large +for his wants, and bred an infinite amount of parasites; but he was +content to regard this drawback on his property as a sort of +perpetual Legacy Duty. He felt the more resigned to it, forasmuch +as Mrs Boffin enjoyed herself completely, and Miss Bella was +delighted. + +That young lady was, no doubt, and acquisition to the Boffins. +She was far too pretty to be unattractive anywhere, and far too +quick of perception to be below the tone of her new career. +Whether it improved her heart might be a matter of taste that was +open to question; but as touching another matter of taste, its +improvement of her appearance and manner, there could be no +question whatever. + +And thus it soon came about that Miss Bella began to set Mrs +Boffin right; and even further, that Miss Bella began to feel ill at +ease, and as it were responsible, when she saw Mrs Boffin going +wrong. Not that so sweet a disposition and so sound a nature +could ever go very wrong even among the great visiting authorities +who agreed that the Boffins were 'charmingly vulgar' (which for +certain was not their own case in saying so), but that when she +made a slip on the social ice on which all the children of +Podsnappery, with genteel souls to be saved, are required to skate +in circles, or to slide in long rows, she inevitably tripped Miss +Bella up (so that young lady felt), and caused her to experience +great confusion under the glances of the more skilful performers +engaged in those ice-exercises. + +At Miss Bella's time of life it was not to be expected that she +should examine herself very closely on the congruity or stability +of her position in Mr Boffin's house. And as she had never been +sparing of complaints of her old home when she had no other to +compare it with, so there was no novelty of ingratitude or disdain +in her very much preferring her new one. + +'An invaluable man is Rokesmith,' said Mr Boffin, after some two +or three months. 'But I can't quite make him out.' + +Neither could Bella, so she found the subject rather interesting. + +'He takes more care of my affairs, morning, noon, and night,' said +Mr Boffin, 'than fifty other men put together either could or +would; and yet he has ways of his own that are like tying a +scaffolding-pole right across the road, and bringing me up short +when I am almost a-walking arm in arm with him.' + +'May I ask how so, sir?' inquired Bella. + +'Well, my dear,' said Mr Boffin, 'he won't meet any company here, +but you. When we have visitors, I should wish him to have his +regular place at the table like ourselves; but no, he won't take it.' + +'If he considers himself above it,' said Miss Bella, with an airy toss +of her head, 'I should leave him alone.' + +'It ain't that, my dear,' replied Mr Boffin, thinking it over. 'He +don't consider himself above it.' + +'Perhaps he considers himself beneath it,' suggested Bella. 'If so, +he ought to know best.' + +'No, my dear; nor it ain't that, neither. No,' repeated Mr Boffin, +with a shake of his head, after again thinking it over; 'Rokesmith's +a modest man, but he don't consider himself beneath it.' + +'Then what does he consider, sir?' asked Bella. + +'Dashed if I know!' said Mr Boffin. 'It seemed that first as if it was +only Lightwood that he objected to meet. And now it seems to be +everybody, except you.' + +Oho! thought Miss Bella. 'In--deed! That's it, is it!' For Mr +Mortimer Lightwood had dined there two or three times, and she +had met him elsewhere, and he had shown her some attention. +'Rather cool in a Secretary--and Pa's lodger--to make me the +subject of his jealousy!' + +That Pa's daughter should be so contemptuous of Pa's lodger was +odd; but there were odder anomalies than that in the mind of the +spoilt girl: spoilt first by poverty, and then by wealth. Be it this +history's part, however, to leave them to unravel themselves. + +'A little too much, I think,' Miss Bella reflected scornfully, 'to have +Pa's lodger laying claim to me, and keeping eligible people off! A +little too much, indeed, to have the opportunities opened to me by +Mr and Mrs Boffin, appropriated by a mere Secretary and Pa's +lodger!' + +Yet it was not so very long ago that Bella had been fluttered by +the discovery that this same Secretary and lodger seem to like her. +Ah! but the eminently aristocratic mansion and Mrs Boffin's +dressmaker had not come into play then. + +In spite of his seemingly retiring manners a very intrusive person, +this Secretary and lodger, in Miss Bella's opinion. Always a light +in his office-room when we came home from the play or Opera, +and he always at the carriage-door to hand us out. Always a +provoking radiance too on Mrs Boffin's face, and an abominably +cheerful reception of him, as if it were possible seriously to +approve what the man had in his mind! + +'You never charge me, Miss Wilfer,' said the Secretary, +encountering her by chance alone in the great drawing-room, 'with +commissions for home. I shall always be happy to execute any +commands you may have in that direction.' + +'Pray what may you mean, Mr Rokesmith?' inquired Miss Bella, +with languidly drooping eyelids. + +'By home? I mean your father's house at Holloway.' + +She coloured under the retort--so skilfully thrust, that the words +seemed to be merely a plain answer, given in plain good faith--and +said, rather more emphatically and sharply: + +'What commissions and commands are you speaking of?' + +'Only little words of remembrance as I assume you sent somehow +or other,' replied the Secretary with his former air. 'It would be a +pleasure to me if you would make me the bearer of them. As you +know, I come and go between the two houses every day.' + +'You needn't remind me of that, sir.' + +She was too quick in this petulant sally against 'Pa's lodger'; and +she felt that she had been so when she met his quiet look. + +'They don't send many--what was your expression?--words of +remembrance to me,' said Bella, making haste to take refuge in ill- +usage. + +'They frequently ask me about you, and I give them such slight +intelligence as I can.' + +'I hope it's truly given,' exclaimed Bella. + +'I hope you cannot doubt it, for it would be very much against +you, if you could.' + +'No, I do not doubt it. I deserve the reproach, which is very just +indeed. I beg your pardon, Mr Rokesmith.' + +'I should beg you not to do so, but that it shows you to such +admirable advantage,' he replied with earnestness. 'Forgive me; I +could not help saying that. To return to what I have digressed +from, let me add that perhaps they think I report them to you, +deliver little messages, and the like. But I forbear to trouble you, +as you never ask me.' + +'I am going, sir,' said Bella, looking at him as if he had reproved +her, 'to see them tomorrow.' + +'Is that,' he asked, hesitating, 'said to me, or to them?' + +'To which you please.' + +'To both? Shall I make it a message?' + +'You can if you like, Mr Rokesmith. Message or no message, I am +going to see them tomorrow.' + +'Then I will tell them so.' + +He lingered a moment, as though to give her the opportunity of +prolonging the conversation if she wished. As she remained silent, +he left her. Two incidents of the little interview were felt by Miss +Bella herself, when alone again, to be very curious. The first was, +that he unquestionably left her with a penitent air upon her, and a +penitent feeling in her heart. The second was, that she had not an +intention or a thought of going home, until she had announced it to +him as a settled design. + +'What can I mean by it, or what can he mean by it?' was her +mental inquiry: 'He has no right to any power over me, and how +do I come to mind him when I don't care for him?' + +Mrs Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's +expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs +Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities +and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on +beholding the chariot from the window at which they were +secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the +door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the +neighbours. Then they repaired to the usual family room, to +receive Miss Bella with a becoming show of indifference. + +The family room looked very small and very mean, and the +downward staircase by which it was attained looked very narrow +and very crooked. The little house and all its arrangements were a +poor contrast to the eminently aristocratic dwelling. 'I can hardly +believe, thought Bella, that I ever did endure life in this place!' + +Gloomy majesty on the part of Mrs Wilfer, and native pertness on +the part of Lavvy, did not mend the matter. Bella really stood in +natural need of a little help, and she got none. + +'This,' said Mrs Wilfer, presenting a cheek to be kissed, as +sympathetic and responsive as the back of the bowl of a spoon, 'is +quite an honour! You will probably find your sister Lavvy grown, +Bella.' + +'Ma,' Miss Lavinia interposed, 'there can be no objection to your +being aggravating, because Bella richly deserves it; but I really +must request that you will not drag in such ridiculous nonsense as +my having grown when I am past the growing age.' + +'I grew, myself,' Mrs Wilfer sternly proclaimed, 'after I was +married.' + +'Very well, Ma,' returned Lavvy, 'then I think you had much better +have left it alone.' + +The lofty glare with which the majestic woman received this +answer, might have embarrassed a less pert opponent, but it had +no effect upon Lavinia: who, leaving her parent to the enjoyment +of any amount of glaring at she might deem desirable under the +circumstances, accosted her sister, undismayed. + +'I suppose you won't consider yourself quite disgraced, Bella, if I +give you a kiss? Well! And how do you do, Bella? And how are +your Boffins?' + +'Peace!' exclaimed Mrs Wilfer. 'Hold! I will not suffer this tone of +levity.' + +'My goodness me! How are your Spoffins, then?' said Lavvy, +'since Ma so very much objects to your Boffins.' + +'Impertinent girl! Minx!' said Mrs Wilfer, with dread severity. + +'I don't care whether I am a Minx, or a Sphinx,' returned Lavinia, +coolly, tossing her head; 'it's exactly the same thing to me, and I'd +every bit as soon be one as the other; but I know this--I'll not grow +after I'm married!' + +'You will not? YOU will not?' repeated Mrs Wilfer, solemnly. + +'No, Ma, I will not. Nothing shall induce me.' + +Mrs Wilfer, having waved her gloves, became loftily pathetic. + +'But it was to be expected;' thus she spake. 'A child of mine +deserts me for the proud and prosperous, and another child of +mine despises me. It is quite fitting.' + +'Ma,' Bella struck in, 'Mr and Mrs Boffin are prosperous, no +doubt; but you have no right to say they are proud. You must +know very well that they are not.' + +'In short, Ma,' said Lavvy, bouncing over to the enemy without a +word of notice, you must know very well--or if you don't, more +shame for you!--that Mr and Mrs Boffin are just absolute +perfection.' + +'Truly,' returned Mrs Wilfer, courteously receiving the deserter, it +would seem that we are required to think so. And this, Lavinia, is +my reason for objecting to a tone of levity. Mrs Boffin (of whose +physiognomy I can never speak with the composure I would +desire to preserve), and your mother, are not on terms of intimacy. +It is not for a moment to be supposed that she and her husband +dare to presume to speak of this family as the Wilfers. I cannot +therefore condescend to speak of them as the Boffins. No; for +such a tone--call it familiarity, levity, equality, or what you will-- +would imply those social interchanges which do not exist. Do I +render myself intelligible?' + +Without taking the least notice of this inquiry, albeit delivered in +an imposing and forensic manner, Lavinia reminded her sister, +'After all, you know, Bella, you haven't told us how your +Whatshisnames are.' + +'I don't want to speak of them here,' replied Bella, suppressing +indignation, and tapping her foot on the floor. 'They are much too +kind and too good to be drawn into these discussions.' + +'Why put it so?' demanded Mrs Wilfer, with biting sarcasm. 'Why +adopt a circuitous form of speech? It is polite and it is obliging; +but why do it? Why not openly say that they are much too kind +and too good for US? We understand the allusion. Why disguise +the phrase?' + +'Ma,' said Bella, with one beat of her foot, 'you are enough to +drive a saint mad, and so is Lavvy.' + +'Unfortunate Lavvy!' cried Mrs Wilfer, in a tone of commiseration. +'She always comes for it. My poor child!' But Lavvy, with the +suddenness of her former desertion, now bounced over to the other +enemy: very sharply remarking, 'Don't patronize ME, Ma, because +I can take care of myself.' + +'I only wonder,' resumed Mrs Wilfer, directing her observations to +her elder daughter, as safer on the whole than her utterly +unmanageable younger, 'that you found time and inclination to +tear yourself from Mr and Mrs Boffin, and come to see us at all. I +only wonder that our claims, contending against the superior +claims of Mr and Mrs Boffin, had any weight. I feel I ought to be +thankful for gaining so much, in competition with Mr and Mrs +Boffin.' (The good lady bitterly emphasized the first letter of the +word Boffin, as if it represented her chief objection to the owners +of that name, and as if she could have born Doffin, Moffin, or +Poffin much better.) + +'Ma,' said Bella, angrily, 'you force me to say that I am truly sorry +I did come home, and that I never will come home again, except +when poor dear Pa is here. For, Pa is too magnanimous to feel +envy and spite towards my generous friends, and Pa is delicate +enough and gentle enough to remember the sort of little claim they +thought I had upon them and the unusually trying position in +which, through no act of my own, I had been placed. And I +always did love poor dear Pa better than all the rest of you put +together, and I always do and I always shall!' + +Here Bella, deriving no comfort from her charming bonnet and her +elegant dress, burst into tears. + +'I think, R.W.,' cried Mrs Wilfer, lifting up her eyes and +apostrophising the air, 'that if you were present, it would be a trial +to your feelings to hear your wife and the mother of your family +depreciated in your name. But Fate has spared you this, R.W., +whatever it may have thought proper to inflict upon her!' + +Here Mrs Wilfer burst into tears. + +'I hate the Boffins!' protested Miss Lavinia. I don't care who +objects to their being called the Boffins. I WILL call 'em the +Boffins. The Boffins, the Boffins, the Boffins! And I say they are +mischief-making Boffins, and I say the Boffins have set Bella +against me, and I tell the Boffins to their faces:' which was not +strictly the fact, but the young lady was excited: 'that they are +detestable Boffins, disreputable Boffins, odious Boffins, beastly +Boffins. There!' + +Here Miss Lavinia burst into tears. + +The front garden-gate clanked, and the Secretary was seen coming +at a brisk pace up the steps. 'Leave Me to open the door to him,' +said Mrs Wilfer, rising with stately resignation as she shook her +head and dried her eyes; 'we have at present no stipendiary girl to +do so. We have nothing to conceal. If he sees these traces of +emotion on our cheeks, let him construe them as he may.' + +With those words she stalked out. In a few moments she stalked +in again, proclaiming in her heraldic manner, 'Mr Rokesmith is the +bearer of a packet for Miss Bella Wilfer.' + +Mr Rokesmith followed close upon his name, and of course saw +what was amiss. But he discreetly affected to see nothing, and +addressed Miss Bella. + +'Mr Boffin intended to have placed this in the carriage for you this +morning. He wished you to have it, as a little keepsake he had +prepared--it is only a purse, Miss Wilfer--but as he was +disappointed in his fancy, I volunteered to come after you with it.' + +Bella took it in her hand, and thanked him. + +'We have been quarrelling here a little, Mr Rokesmith, but not +more than we used; you know our agreeable ways among +ourselves. You find me just going. Good-bye, mamma. Good- +bye, Lavvy!' and with a kiss for each Miss Bella turned to the +door. The Secretary would have attended her, but Mrs Wilfer +advancing and saying with dignity, 'Pardon me! Permit me to +assert my natural right to escort my child to the equipage which is +in waiting for her,' he begged pardon and gave place. It was a +very magnificent spectacle indeed, too see Mrs Wilfer throw open +the house-door, and loudly demand with extended gloves, 'The +male domestic of Mrs Boffin!' To whom presenting himself, she +delivered the brief but majestic charge, 'Miss Wilfer. Coming out!' +and so delivered her over, like a female Lieutenant of the Tower +relinquishing a State Prisoner. The effect of this ceremonial was +for some quarter of an hour afterwards perfectly paralyzing on the +neighbours, and was much enhanced by the worthy lady airing +herself for that term in a kind of splendidly serene trance on the +top step. + +When Bella was seated in the carriage, she opened the little +packet in her hand. It contained a pretty purse, and the purse +contained a bank note for fifty pounds. 'This shall be a joyful +surprise for poor dear Pa,' said Bella, 'and I'll take it myself into +the City!' + +As she was uninformed respecting the exact locality of the place +of business of Chicksey Veneering and Stobbles, but knew it to be +near Mincing Lane, she directed herself to be driven to the corner +of that darksome spot. Thence she despatched 'the male domestic +of Mrs Boffin,' in search of the counting-house of Chicksey +Veneering and Stobbles, with a message importing that if R. +Wilfer could come out, there was a lady waiting who would be +glad to speak with him. The delivery of these mysterious words +from the mouth of a footman caused so great an excitement in the +counting-house, that a youthful scout was instantly appointed to +follow Rumty, observe the lady, and come in with his report. Nor +was the agitation by any means diminished, when the scout rushed +back with the intelligence that the lady was 'a slap-up gal in a +bang-up chariot.' + +Rumty himself, with his pen behind his ear under his rusty hat, +arrived at the carriage-door in a breathless condition, and had +been fairly lugged into the vehicle by his cravat and embraced +almost unto choking, before he recognized his daughter. 'My dear +child!' he then panted, incoherently. 'Good gracious me! What a +lovely woman you are! I thought you had been unkind and +forgotten your mother and sister.' + +'I have just been to see them, Pa dear.' + +'Oh! and how--how did you find your mother?' asked R. W., +dubiously. + +'Very disagreeable, Pa, and so was Lavvy.' + +'They are sometimes a little liable to it,' observed the patient +cherub; 'but I hope you made allowances, Bella, my dear?' + +'No. I was disagreeable too, Pa; we were all of us disagreeable +together. But I want you to come and dine with me somewhere, +Pa.' + +'Why, my dear, I have already partaken of a--if one might mention +such an article in this superb chariot--of a--Saveloy,' replied R. +Wilfer, modestly dropping his voice on the word, as he eyed the +canary-coloured fittings. + +'Oh! That's nothing, Pa!' + +'Truly, it ain't as much as one could sometimes wish it to be, my +dear,' he admitted, drawing his hand across his mouth. 'Still, when +circumstances over which you have no control, interpose +obstacles between yourself and Small Germans, you can't do +better than bring a contented mind to hear on'--again dropping his +voice in deference to the chariot--'Saveloys!' + +'You poor good Pa! Pa, do, I beg and pray, get leave for the rest +of the day, and come and pass it with me!' + +'Well, my dear, I'll cut back and ask for leave.' + +'But before you cut back,' said Bella, who had already taken him +by the chin, pulled his hat off, and begun to stick up his hair in her +old way, 'do say that you are sure I am giddy and inconsiderate, +but have never really slighted you, Pa.' + +'My dear, I say it with all my heart. And might I likewise observe,' +her father delicately hinted, with a glance out at window, 'that +perhaps it might be calculated to attract attention, having one's +hair publicly done by a lovely woman in an elegant turn-out in +Fenchurch Street?' + +Bella laughed and put on his hat again. But when his boyish +figure bobbed away, its shabbiness and cheerful patience smote +the tears out of her eyes. 'I hate that Secretary for thinking it of +me,' she said to herself, 'and yet it seems half true!' + +Back came her father, more like a boy than ever, in his release +from school. 'All right, my dear. Leave given at once. Really +very handsomely done!' + +'Now where can we find some quiet place, Pa, in which I can wait +for you while you go on an errand for me, if I send the carriage +away?' + +It demanded cogitation. 'You see, my dear,' he explained, 'you +really have become such a very lovely woman, that it ought to be +a very quiet place.' At length he suggested, 'Near the garden up +by the Trinity House on Tower Hill.' So, they were driven there, +and Bella dismissed the chariot; sending a pencilled note by it to +Mrs Boffin, that she was with her father. + +'Now, Pa, attend to what I am going to say, and promise and vow +to be obedient.' + +'I promise and vow, my dear.' + +'You ask no questions. You take this purse; you go to the nearest +place where they keep everything of the very very best, ready +made; you buy and put on, the most beautiful suit of clothes, the +most beautiful hat, and the most beautiful pair of bright boots +(patent leather, Pa, mind!) that are to be got for money; and you +come back to me.' + +'But, my dear Bella--' + +'Take care, Pa!' pointing her forefinger at him, merrily. 'You have +promised and vowed. It's perjury, you know.' + +There was water in the foolish little fellow's eyes, but she kissed +them dry (though her own were wet), and he bobbed away again. +After half an hour, he came back, so brilliantly transformed, that +Bella was obliged to walk round him in ecstatic admiration twenty +times, before she could draw her arm through his, and delightedly +squeeze it. + +'Now, Pa,' said Bella, hugging him close, 'take this lovely woman +out to dinner.' + +'Where shall we go, my dear?' + +'Greenwich!' said Bella, valiantly. 'And be sure you treat this +lovely woman with everything of the best.' + +While they were going along to take boat, 'Don't you wish, my +dear,' said R. W., timidly, 'that your mother was here?' + +'No, I don't, Pa, for I like to have you all to myself to-day. I was +always your little favourite at home, and you were always mine. +We have run away together often, before now; haven't we, Pa?' + +'Ah, to be sure we have! Many a Sunday when your mother was-- +was a little liable to it,' repeating his former delicate expression +after pausing to cough. + +'Yes, and I am afraid I was seldom or never as good as I ought to +have been, Pa. I made you carry me, over and over again, when +you should have made me walk; and I often drove you in harness, +when you would much rather have sat down and read your news- +paper: didn't I?' + +'Sometimes, sometimes. But Lor, what a child you were! What a +companion you were!' + +'Companion? That's just what I want to be to-day, Pa.' + +'You are safe to succeed, my love. Your brothers and sisters have +all in their turns been companions to me, to a certain extent, but +only to a certain extent. Your mother has, throughout life, been a +companion that any man might--might look up to--and--and +commit the sayings of, to memory--and--form himself upon--if he--' + +'If he liked the model?' suggested Bella. + +'We-ell, ye-es,' he returned, thinking about it, not quite satisfied +with the phrase: 'or perhaps I might say, if it was in him. +Supposing, for instance, that a man wanted to be always marching, +he would find your mother an inestimable companion. But if he +had any taste for walking, or should wish at any time to break into +a trot, he might sometimes find it a little difficult to keep step with +your mother. Or take it this way, Bella,' he added, after a +moment's reflection; 'Supposing that a man had to go through life, +we won't say with a companion, but we'll say to a tune. Very +good. Supposing that the tune allotted to him was the Dead +March in Saul. Well. It would be a very suitable tune for +particular occasions--none better--but it would be difficult to keep +time with in the ordinary run of domestic transactions. For +instance, if he took his supper after a hard day, to the Dead March +in Saul, his food might be likely to sit heavy on him. Or, if he was +at any time inclined to relieve his mind by singing a comic song or +dancing a hornpipe, and was obliged to do it to the Dead March in +Saul, he might find himself put out in the execution of his lively +intentions.' + +'Poor Pa!' thought Bella, as she hung upon his arm. + +'Now, what I will say for you, my dear,' the cherub pursued mildly +and without a notion of complaining, 'is, that you are so adaptable. +So adaptable.' + +'Indeed I am afraid I have shown a wretched temper, Pa. I am +afraid I have been very complaining, and very capricious. I +seldom or never thought of it before. But when I sat in the +carriage just now and saw you coming along the pavement, I +reproached myself.' + +'Not at all, my dear. Don't speak of such a thing.' + +A happy and a chatty man was Pa in his new clothes that day. +Take it for all in all, it was perhaps the happiest day he had ever +known in his life; not even excepting that on which his heroic +partner had approached the nuptial altar to the tune of the Dead +March in Saul. + +The little expedition down the river was delightful, and the little +room overlooking the river into which they were shown for dinner +was delightful. Everything was delightful. The park was +delightful, the punch was delightful, the dishes of fish were +delightful, the wine was delightful. Bella was more delightful than +any other item in the festival; drawing Pa out in the gayest +manner; making a point of always mentioning herself as the lovely +woman; stimulating Pa to order things, by declaring that the lovely +woman insisted on being treated with them; and in short causing +Pa to be quite enraptured with the consideration that he WAS the +Pa of such a charming daughter. + +And then, as they sat looking at the ships and steamboats making +their way to the sea with the tide that was running down, the +lovely woman imagined all sorts of voyages for herself and Pa. +Now, Pa, in the character of owner of a lumbering square-sailed +collier, was tacking away to Newcastle, to fetch black diamonds +to make his fortune with; now, Pa was going to China in that +handsome threemasted ship, to bring home opium, with which he +would for ever cut out Chicksey Veneering and Stobbles, and to +bring home silks and shawls without end for the decoration of his +charming daughter. Now, John Harmon's disastrous fate was all a +dream, and he had come home and found the lovely woman just +the article for him, and the lovely woman had found him just the +article for her, and they were going away on a trip, in their gallant +bark, to look after their vines, with streamers flying at all points, a +band playing on deck and Pa established in the great cabin. Now, +John Harmon was consigned to his grave again, and a merchant of +immense wealth (name unknown) had courted and married the +lovely woman, and he was so enormously rich that everything you +saw upon the river sailing or steaming belonged to him, and he +kept a perfect fleet of yachts for pleasure, and that little impudent +yacht which you saw over there, with the great white sail, was +called The Bella, in honour of his wife, and she held her state +aboard when it pleased her, like a modern Cleopatra. Anon, there +would embark in that troop-ship when she got to Gravesend, a +mighty general, of large property (name also unknown), who +wouldn't hear of going to victory without his wife, and whose wife +was the lovely woman, and she was destined to become the idol of +all the red coats and blue jackets alow and aloft. And then again: +you saw that ship being towed out by a steam-tug? Well! where +did you suppose she was going to? She was going among the coral +reefs and cocoa-nuts and all that sort of thing, and she was +chartered for a fortunate individual of the name of Pa (himself on +board, and much respected by all hands), and she was going, for +his sole profit and advantage, to fetch a cargo of sweet-smelling +woods, the most beautiful that ever were seen, and the most +profitable that ever were heard of; and her cargo would be a great +fortune, as indeed it ought to be: the lovely woman who had +purchased her and fitted her expressly for this voyage, being +married to an Indian Prince, who was a Something-or-Other, and +who wore Cashmere shawls all over himself and diamonds and +emeralds blazing in his turban, and was beautifully coffee- +coloured and excessively devoted, though a little too jealous. +Thus Bella ran on merrily, in a manner perfectly enchanting to Pa, +who was as willing to put his head into the Sultan's tub of water as +the beggar-boys below the window were to put THEIR heads in +the mud. + +'I suppose, my dear,' said Pa after dinner, 'we may come to the +conclusion at home, that we have lost you for good?' + +Bella shook her head. Didn't know. Couldn't say. All she was +able to report was, that she was most handsomely supplied with +everything she could possibly want, and that whenever she hinted +at leaving Mr and Mrs Boffin, they wouldn't hear of it. + +'And now, Pa,' pursued Bella, 'I'll make a confession to you. I am +the most mercenary little wretch that ever lived in the world.' + +'I should hardly have thought it of you, my dear,' returned her +father, first glancing at himself; and then at the dessert. + +'I understand what you mean, Pa, but it's not that. It's not that I +care for money to keep as money, but I do care so much for what +it will buy!' + +'Really I think most of us do,' returned R. W. + +'But not to the dreadful extent that I do, Pa. O-o!' cried Bella, +screwing the exclamation out of herself with a twist of her +dimpled chin. 'I AM so mercenary!' + +With a wistful glance R. W. said, in default of having anything +better to say: 'About when did you begin to feel it coming on, my +dear?' + +'That's it, Pa. That's the terrible part of it. When I was at home, +and only knew what it was to be poor, I grumbled but didn't so +much mind. When I was at home expecting to be rich, I thought +vaguely of all the great things I would do. But when I had been +disappointed of my splendid fortune, and came to see it from day +to day in other hands, and to have before my eyes what it could +really do, then I became the mercenary little wretch I am.' + +'It's your fancy, my dear.' + +'I can assure you it's nothing of the sort, Pa!' said Bella, nodding at +him, with her very pretty eyebrows raised as high as they would +go, and looking comically frightened. 'It's a fact. I am always +avariciously scheming.' + +'Lor! But how?' + +'I'll tell you, Pa. I don't mind telling YOU, because we have +always been favourites of each other's, and because you are not +like a Pa, but more like a sort of a younger brother with a dear +venerable chubbiness on him. And besides,' added Bella, laughing +as she pointed a rallying finger at his face, 'because I have got you +in my power. This is a secret expedition. If ever you tell of me, +I'll tell of you. I'll tell Ma that you dined at Greenwich.' + +'Well; seriously, my dear,' observed R. W., with some trepidation +of manner, 'it might be as well not to mention it.' + +'Aha!' laughed Bella. 'I knew you wouldn't like it, sir! So you +keep my confidence, and I'll keep yours. But betray the lovely +woman, and you shall find her a serpent. Now, you may give me +a kiss, Pa, and I should like to give your hair a turn, because it has +been dreadfully neglected in my absence.' + +R. W. submitted his head to the operator, and the operator went +on talking; at the same time putting separate locks of his hair +through a curious process of being smartly rolled over her two +revolving forefingers, which were then suddenly pulled out of it in +opposite lateral directions. On each of these occasions the patient +winced and winked. + +'I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I +can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I +must marry it.' + +R. W. cast up his eyes towards her, as well as he could under the +operating circumstances, and said in a tone of remonstrance, 'My +de-ar Bella!' + +'Have resolved, I say, Pa, that to get money I must marry money. +In consequence of which, I am always looking out for money to +captivate.' + +'My de-a-r Bella!' + +'Yes, Pa, that is the state of the case. If ever there was a +mercenary plotter whose thoughts and designs were always in her +mean occupation, I am the amiable creature. But I don't care. I +hate and detest being poor, and I won't be poor if I can marry +money. Now you are deliciously fluffy, Pa, and in a state to +astonish the waiter and pay the bill.' + +'But, my dear Bella, this is quite alarming at your age.' + +'I told you so, Pa, but you wouldn't believe it,' returned Bella, with +a pleasant childish gravity. 'Isn't it shocking?' + +'It would be quite so, if you fully knew what you said, my dear, or +meant it.' + +'Well, Pa, I can only tell you that I mean nothing else. Talk to me +of love!' said Bella, contemptuously: though her face and figure +certainly rendered the subject no incongruous one. 'Talk to me of +fiery dragons! But talk to me of poverty and wealth, and there +indeed we touch upon realities.' + +'My De-ar, this is becoming Awful--' her father was emphatically +beginning: when she stopped him. + +'Pa, tell me. Did you marry money?' + +'You know I didn't, my dear.' + +Bella hummed the Dead March in Saul, and said, after all it +signified very little! But seeing him look grave and downcast, she +took him round the neck and kissed him back to cheerfulness +again. + +'I didn't mean that last touch, Pa; it was only said in joke. Now +mind! You are not to tell of me, and I'll not tell of you. And more +than that; I promise to have no secrets from you, Pa, and you may +make certain that, whatever mercenary things go on, I shall +always tell you all about them in strict confidence.' + +Fain to be satisfied with this concession from the lovely woman, +R. W. rang the bell, and paid the bill. 'Now, all the rest of this, +Pa,' said Bella, rolling up the purse when they were alone again, +hammering it small with her little fist on the table, and cramming it +into one of the pockets of his new waistcoat, 'is for you, to buy +presents with for them at home, and to pay bills with, and to +divide as you like, and spend exactly as you think proper. Last of +all take notice, Pa, that it's not the fruit of any avaricious scheme. +Perhaps if it was, your little mercenary wretch of a daughter +wouldn't make so free with it!' + +After which, she tugged at his coat with both hands, and pulled +him all askew in buttoning that garment over the precious +waistcoat pocket, and then tied her dimples into her bonnet-strings +in a very knowing way, and took him back to London. Arrived at +Mr Boffin's door, she set him with his back against it, tenderly +took him by the ears as convenient handles for her purpose, and +kissed him until he knocked muffled double knocks at the door +with the back of his head. That done, she once more reminded +him of their compact and gaily parted from him. + +Not so gaily, however, but that tears filled her eyes as he went +away down the dark street. Not so gaily, but that she several +times said, 'Ah, poor little Pa! Ah, poor dear struggling shabby +little Pa!' before she took heart to knock at the door. Not so gaily, +but that the brilliant furniture seemed to stare her out of +countenance as if it insisted on being compared with the dingy +furniture at home. Not so gaily, but that she fell into very low +spirits sitting late in her own room, and very heartily wept, as she +wished, now that the deceased old John Harmon had never made +a will about her, now that the deceased young John Harmon had +lived to marry her. 'Contradictory things to wish,' said Bella, 'but +my life and fortunes are so contradictory altogether that what can +I expect myself to be!' + + + +Chapter 9 + +IN WHICH THE ORPHAN MAKES HIS WILL + + +The Secretary, working in the Dismal Swamp betimes next +morning, was informed that a youth waited in the hall who gave +the name of Sloppy. The footman who communicated this +intelligence made a decent pause before uttering the name, to +express that it was forced on his reluctance by the youth in +question, and that if the youth had had the good sense and good +taste to inherit some other name it would have spared the feelings +of him the bearer. + +'Mrs Boffin will be very well pleased,' said the Secretary in a +perfectly composed way. 'Show him in.' + +Mr Sloppy being introduced, remained close to the door: revealing +in various parts of his form many surprising, confounding, and +incomprehensible buttons. + +'I am glad to see you,' said John Rokesmith, in a cheerful tone of +welcome. 'I have been expecting you.' + +Sloppy explained that he had meant to come before, but that the +Orphan (of whom he made mention as Our Johnny) had been +ailing, and he had waited to report him well. + +'Then he is well now?' said the Secretary. + +'No he ain't,' said Sloppy. + +Mr Sloppy having shaken his head to a considerable extent, +proceeded to remark that he thought Johnny 'must have took 'em +from the Minders.' Being asked what he meant, he answered, +them that come out upon him and partickler his chest. Being +requested to explain himself, he stated that there was some of 'em +wot you couldn't kiver with a sixpence. Pressed to fall back upon +a nominative case, he opined that they wos about as red as ever +red could be. 'But as long as they strikes out'ards, sir,' continued +Sloppy, 'they ain't so much. It's their striking in'ards that's to be +kep off.' + +John Rokesmith hoped the child had had medical attendance? Oh +yes, said Sloppy, he had been took to the doctor's shop once. And +what did the doctor call it? Rokesmith asked him. After some +perplexed reflection, Sloppy answered, brightening, 'He called it +something as wos wery long for spots.' Rokesmith suggested +measles. 'No,' said Sloppy with confidence, 'ever so much longer +than THEM, sir!' (Mr Sloppy was elevated by this fact, and +seemed to consider that it reflected credit on the poor little +patient.) + +'Mrs Boffin will be sorry to hear this,' said Rokesmith. + +'Mrs Higden said so, sir, when she kep it from her, hoping as Our +Johnny would work round.' + +'But I hope he will?' said Rokesmith, with a quick turn upon the +messenger. + +'I hope so,' answered Sloppy. 'It all depends on their striking +in'ards.' He then went on to say that whether Johnny had 'took +'em' from the Minders, or whether the Minders had 'took em from +Johnny, the Minders had been sent home and had 'got em. +Furthermore, that Mrs Higden's days and nights being devoted to +Our Johnny, who was never out of her lap, the whole of the +mangling arrangements had devolved upon himself, and he had +had 'rayther a tight time'. The ungainly piece of honesty beamed +and blushed as he said it, quite enraptured with the remembrance +of having been serviceable. + +'Last night,' said Sloppy, 'when I was a-turning at the wheel pretty +late, the mangle seemed to go like Our Johnny's breathing. It +begun beautiful, then as it went out it shook a little and got +unsteady, then as it took the turn to come home it had a rattle-like +and lumbered a bit, then it come smooth, and so it went on till I +scarce know'd which was mangle and which was Our Johnny. Nor +Our Johnny, he scarce know'd either, for sometimes when the +mangle lumbers he says, "Me choking, Granny!" and Mrs Higden +holds him up in her lap and says to me "Bide a bit, Sloppy," and +we all stops together. And when Our Johnny gets his breathing +again, I turns again, and we all goes on together.' + +Sloppy had gradually expanded with his description into a stare +and a vacant grin. He now contracted, being silent, into a half- +repressed gush of tears, and, under pretence of being heated, drew +the under part of his sleeve across his eyes with a singularly +awkward, laborious, and roundabout smear. + +'This is unfortunate,' said Rokesmith. 'I must go and break it to +Mrs Boffin. Stay you here, Sloppy.' + +Sloppy stayed there, staring at the pattern of the paper on the wall, +until the Secretary and Mrs Boffin came back together. And with +Mrs Boffin was a young lady (Miss Bella Wilfer by name) who +was better worth staring at, it occurred to Sloppy, than the best of +wall-papering. + +'Ah, my poor dear pretty little John Harmon!' exclaimed Mrs +Boffin. + +'Yes mum,' said the sympathetic Sloppy. + +'You don't think he is in a very, very bad way, do you?' asked the +pleasant creature with her wholesome cordiality. + +Put upon his good faith, and finding it in collision with his +inclinations, Sloppy threw back his head and uttered a mellifluous +howl, rounded off with a sniff. + +'So bad as that!' cried Mrs Boffin. 'And Betty Higden not to tell +me of it sooner!' + +'I think she might have been mistrustful, mum,' answered Sloppy, +hesitating. + +'Of what, for Heaven's sake?' + +'I think she might have been mistrustful, mum,' returned Sloppy +with submission, 'of standing in Our Johnny's light. There's so +much trouble in illness, and so much expense, and she's seen such +a lot of its being objected to.' + +'But she never can have thought,' said Mrs Boffin, 'that I would +grudge the dear child anything?' + +'No mum, but she might have thought (as a habit-like) of its +standing in Johnny's light, and might have tried to bring him +through it unbeknownst.' + +Sloppy knew his ground well. To conceal herself in sickness, like +a lower animal; to creep out of sight and coil herself away and die; +had become this woman's instinct. To catch up in her arms the +sick child who was dear to her, and hide it as if it were a criminal, +and keep off all ministration but such as her own ignorant +tenderness and patience could supply, had become this woman's +idea of maternal love, fidelity, and duty. The shameful accounts +we read, every week in the Christian year, my lords and +gentlemen and honourable boards, the infamous records of small +official inhumanity, do not pass by the people as they pass by us. +And hence these irrational, blind, and obstinate prejudices, so +astonishing to our magnificence, and having no more reason in +them--God save the Queen and Confound their politics--no, than +smoke has in coming from fire! + +'It's not a right place for the poor child to stay in,' said Mrs Boffin. +'Tell us, dear Mr Rokesmith, what to do for the best.' + +He had already thought what to do, and the consultation was very +short. He could pave the way, he said, in half an hour, and then +they would go down to Brentford. 'Pray take me,' said Bella. +Therefore a carriage was ordered, of capacity to take them all, and +in the meantime Sloppy was regaled, feasting alone in the +Secretary's room, with a complete realization of that fairy vision-- +meat, beer, vegetables, and pudding. In consequence of which his +buttons became more importunate of public notice than before, +with the exception of two or three about the region of the +waistband, which modestly withdrew into a creasy retirement. + +Punctual to the time, appeared the carriage and the Secretary. He +sat on the box, and Mr Sloppy graced the rumble. So, to the Three +Magpies as before: where Mrs Boffin and Miss Bella were handed +out, and whence they all went on foot to Mrs Betty Higden's. + +But, on the way down, they had stopped at a toy-shop, and had +bought that noble charger, a description of whose points and +trappings had on the last occasion conciliated the then worldly- +minded orphan, and also a Noah's ark, and also a yellow bird with +an artificial voice in him, and also a military doll so well dressed +that if he had only been of life-size his brother-officers in the +Guards might never have found him out. Bearing these gifts, they +raised the latch of Betty Higden's door, and saw her sitting in the +dimmest and furthest corner with poor Johnny in her lap. + +'And how's my boy, Betty?' asked Mrs Boffin, sitting down beside +her. + +'He's bad! He's bad!' said Betty. 'I begin to be afeerd he'll not be +yours any more than mine. All others belonging to him have gone +to the Power and the Glory, and I have a mind that they're +drawing him to them--leading him away.' + +'No, no, no,' said Mrs Boffin. + +'I don't know why else he clenches his little hand as if it had hold +of a finger that I can't see. Look at it,' said Betty, opening the +wrappers in which the flushed child lay, and showing his small +right hand lying closed upon his breast. 'It's always so. It don't +mind me.' + +'Is he asleep?' + +'No, I think not. You're not asleep, my Johnny?' + +'No,' said Johnny, with a quiet air of pity for himself; and without +opening his eyes. + +'Here's the lady, Johnny. And the horse.' + +Johnny could bear the lady, with complete indifference, but not +the horse. Opening his heavy eyes, he slowly broke into a smile +on beholding that splendid phenomenon, and wanted to take it in +his arms. As it was much too big, it was put upon a chair where +he could hold it by the mane and contemplate it. Which he soon +forgot to do. + +But, Johnny murmuring something with his eyes closed, and Mrs +Boffin not knowing what, old Betty bent her ear to listen and took +pains to understand. Being asked by her to repeat what he had +said, he did so two or three times, and then it came out that he +must have seen more than they supposed when he looked up to +see the horse, for the murmur was, 'Who is the boofer lady?' +Now, the boofer, or beautiful, lady was Bella; and whereas this +notice from the poor baby would have touched her of itself; it was +rendered more pathetic by the late melting of her heart to her poor +little father, and their joke about the lovely woman. So, Bella's +behaviour was very tender and very natural when she kneeled on +the brick floor to clasp the child, and when the child, with a child's +admiration of what is young and pretty, fondled the boofer lady. + +'Now, my good dear Betty,' said Mrs Boffin, hoping that she saw +her opportunity, and laying her hand persuasively on her arm; 'we +have come to remove Johnny from this cottage to where he can be +taken better care of.' + +Instantly, and before another word could be spoken, the old +woman started up with blazing eyes, and rushed at the door with +the sick child. + +'Stand away from me every one of ye!' she cried out wildly. 'I see +what ye mean now. Let me go my way, all of ye. I'd sooner kill +the Pretty, and kill myself!' + +'Stay, stay!' said Rokesmith, soothing her. 'You don't understand.' + +'I understand too well. I know too much about it, sir. I've run +from it too many a year. No! Never for me, nor for the child, +while there's water enough in England to cover us!' + +The terror, the shame, the passion of horror and repugnance, firing +the worn face and perfectly maddening it, would have been a +quite terrible sight, if embodied in one old fellow-creature alone. +Yet it 'crops up'--as our slang goes--my lords and gentlemen and +honourable boards, in other fellow-creatures, rather frequently! + +'It's been chasing me all my life, but it shall never take me nor +mine alive!' cried old Betty. 'I've done with ye. I'd have fastened +door and window and starved out, afore I'd ever have let ye in, if I +had known what ye came for!' + +But, catching sight of Mrs Boffin's wholesome face, she relented, +and crouching down by the door and bending over her burden to +hush it, said humbly: 'Maybe my fears has put me wrong. If they +have so, tell me, and the good Lord forgive me! I'm quick to take +this fright, I know, and my head is summ'at light with wearying +and watching.' + +'There, there, there!' returned Mrs Boffin. 'Come, come! Say no +more of it, Betty. It was a mistake, a mistake. Any one of us +might have made it in your place, and felt just as you do.' + +'The Lord bless ye!' said the old woman, stretching out her hand. + +'Now, see, Betty,' pursued the sweet compassionate soul, holding +the hand kindly, 'what I really did mean, and what I should have +begun by saying out, if I had only been a little wiser and handier. +We want to move Johnny to a place where there are none but +children; a place set up on purpose for sick children; where the +good doctors and nurses pass their lives with children, talk to none +but children, touch none but children, comfort and cure none but +children.' + +'Is there really such a place?' asked the old woman, with a gaze of +wonder. + +'Yes, Betty, on my word, and you shall see it. If my home was a +better place for the dear boy, I'd take him to it; but indeed indeed +it's not.' + +'You shall take him,' returned Betty, fervently kissing the +comforting hand, 'where you will, my deary. I am not so hard, but +that I believe your face and voice, and I will, as long as I can see +and hear.' + +This victory gained, Rokesmith made haste to profit by it, for he +saw how woefully time had been lost. He despatched Sloppy to +bring the carriage to the door; caused the child to be carefully +wrapped up; bade old Betty get her bonnet on; collected the toys, +enabling the little fellow to comprehend that his treasures were to +be transported with him; and had all things prepared so easily that +they were ready for the carriage as soon as it appeared, and in a +minute afterwards were on their way. Sloppy they left behind, +relieving his overcharged breast with a paroxysm of mangling. + +At the Children's Hospital, the gallant steed, the Noah's ark, +yellow bird, and the officer in the Guards, were made as welcome +as their child-owner. But the doctor said aside to Rokesmith, 'This +should have been days ago. Too late!' + +However, they were all carried up into a fresh airy room, and +there Johnny came to himself, out of a sleep or a swoon or +whatever it was, to find himself lying in a little quiet bed, with a +little platform over his breast, on which were already arranged, to +give him heart and urge him to cheer up, the Noah's ark, the noble +steed, and the yellow bird; with the officer in the Guards doing +duty over the whole, quite as much to the satisfaction of his +country as if he had been upon Parade. And at the bed's head was +a coloured picture beautiful to see, representing as it were another +Johnny seated on the knee of some Angel surely who loved little +children. And, marvellous fact, to lie and stare at: Johnny had +become one of a little family, all in little quiet beds (except two +playing dominoes in little arm-chairs at a little table on the hearth): +and on all the little beds were little platforms whereon were to be +seen dolls' houses, woolly dogs with mechanical barks in them not +very dissimilar from the artificial voice pervading the bowels of +the yellow bird, tin armies, Moorish tumblers, wooden tea things, +and the riches of the earth. + +As Johnny murmured something in his placid admiration, the +ministering women at his bed's head asked him what he said. It +seemed that he wanted to know whether all these were brothers +and sisters of his? So they told him yes. It seemed then, that he +wanted to know whether God had brought them all together there? +So they told him yes again. They made out then, that he wanted +to know whether they would all get out of pain? So they +answered yes to that question likewise, and made him understand +that the reply included himself. + +Johnny's powers of sustaining conversation were as yet so very +imperfectly developed, even in a state of health, that in sickness +they were little more than monosyllabic. But, he had to be +washed and tended, and remedies were applied, and though those +offices were far, far more skilfully and lightly done than ever +anything had been done for him in his little life, so rough and +short, they would have hurt and tired him but for an amazing +circumstance which laid hold of his attention. This was no less +than the appearance on his own little platform in pairs, of All +Creation, on its way into his own particular ark: the elephant +leading, and the fly, with a diffident sense of his size, politely +bringing up the rear. A very little brother lying in the next bed +with a broken leg, was so enchanted by this spectacle that his +delight exalted its enthralling interest; and so came rest and sleep. + +'I see you are not afraid to leave the dear child here, Betty,' +whispered Mrs Boffin. + +'No, ma'am. Most willingly, most thankfully, with all my heart and +soul.' + +So, they kissed him, and left him there, and old Betty was to come +back early in the morning, and nobody but Rokesmith knew for +certain how that the doctor had said, 'This should have been days +ago. Too late!' + +But, Rokesmith knowing it, and knowing that his bearing it in +mind would be acceptable thereafter to that good woman who had +been the only light in the childhood of desolate John Harmon dead +and gone, resolved that late at night he would go back to the +bedside of John Harmon's namesake, and see how it fared with +him. + +The family whom God had brought together were not all asleep, +but were all quiet. From bed to bed, a light womanly tread and a +pleasant fresh face passed in the silence of the night. A little head +would lift itself up into the softened light here and there, to be +kissed as the face went by--for these little patients are very loving +--and would then submit itself to be composed to rest again. The +mite with the broken leg was restless, and moaned; but after a +while turned his face towards Johnny's bed, to fortify himself with +a view of the ark, and fell asleep. Over most of the beds, the toys +were yet grouped as the children had left them when they last laid +themselves down, and, in their innocent grotesqueness and +incongruity, they might have stood for the children's dreams. + +The doctor came in too, to see how it fared with Johnny. And he +and Rokesmith stood together, looking down with compassion on +him. + +'What is it, Johnny?' Rokesmith was the questioner, and put an +arm round the poor baby as he made a struggle. + +'Him!' said the little fellow. 'Those!' + +The doctor was quick to understand children, and, taking the +horse, the ark, the yellow bird, and the man in the Guards, from +Johnny's bed, softly placed them on that of his next neighbour, the +mite with the broken leg. + +With a weary and yet a pleased smile, and with an action as if he +stretched his little figure out to rest, the child heaved his body on +the sustaining arm, and seeking Rokesmith's face with his lips, +said: + +'A kiss for the boofer lady.' + +Having now bequeathed all he had to dispose of, and arranged his +affairs in this world, Johnny, thus speaking, left it. + + + +Chapter 10 + +A SUCCESSOR + + +Some of the Reverend Frank Milvey's brethren had found +themselves exceedingly uncomfortable in their minds, because +they were required to bury the dead too hopefully. But, the +Reverend Frank, inclining to the belief that they were required to +do one or two other things (say out of nine-and-thirty) calculated +to trouble their consciences rather more if they would think as +much about them, held his peace. + +Indeed, the Reverend Frank Milvey was a forbearing man, who +noticed many sad warps and blights in the vineyard wherein he +worked, and did not profess that they made him savagely wise. +He only learned that the more he himself knew, in his little limited +human way, the better he could distantly imagine what +Omniscience might know. + +Wherefore, if the Reverend Frank had had to read the words that +troubled some of his brethren, and profitably touched innumerable +hearts, in a worse case than Johnny's, he would have done so out +of the pity and humility of his soul. Reading them over Johnny, he +thought of his own six children, but not of his poverty, and read +them with dimmed eyes. And very seriously did he and his bright +little wife, who had been listening, look down into the small grave +and walk home arm-in-arm. + +There was grief in the aristocratic house, and there was joy in the +Bower. Mr Wegg argued, if an orphan were wanted, was he not +an orphan himself; and could a better be desired? And why go +beating about Brentford bushes, seeking orphans forsooth who +had established no claims upon you and made no sacrifices for +you, when here was an orphan ready to your hand who had given +up in your cause, Miss Elizabeth, Master George, Aunt Jane, and +Uncle Parker? + +Mr Wegg chuckled, consequently, when he heard the tidings. +Nay, it was afterwards affirmed by a witness who shall at present +be nameless, that in the seclusion of the Bower he poked out his +wooden leg, in the stage-ballet manner, and executed a taunting or +triumphant pirouette on the genuine leg remaining to him. + +John Rokesmith's manner towards Mrs Boffin at this time, was +more the manner of a young man towards a mother, than that of a +Secretary towards his employer's wife. It had always been marked +by a subdued affectionate deference that seemed to have sprung +up on the very day of his engagement; whatever was odd in her +dress or her ways had seemed to have no oddity for him; he had +sometimes borne a quietly-amused face in her company, but still it +had seemed as if the pleasure her genial temper and radiant nature +yielded him, could have been quite as naturally expressed in a tear +as in a smile. The completeness of his sympathy with her fancy +for having a little John Harmon to protect and rear, he had shown +in every act and word, and now that the kind fancy was +disappointed, he treated it with a manly tenderness and respect for +which she could hardly thank him enough. + +'But I do thank you, Mr Rokesmith,' said Mrs Boffin, 'and I thank +you most kindly. You love children.' + +'I hope everybody does.' + +'They ought,' said Mrs Boffin; 'but we don't all of us do what we +ought, do us?' + +John Rokesmith replied, 'Some among us supply the short-comings +of the rest. You have loved children well, Mr Boffin has told me.' + +Not a bit better than he has, but that's his way; he puts all the good +upon me. You speak rather sadly, Mr Rokesmith.' + +'Do I?' + +'It sounds to me so. Were you one of many children?' He shook +his head. + +'An only child?' + +'No there was another. Dead long ago.' + +'Father or mother alive?' + +'Dead.'-- + +'And the rest of your relations?' + +'Dead--if I ever had any living. I never heard of any.' + +At this point of the dialogue Bella came in with a light step. She +paused at the door a moment, hesitating whether to remain or +retire; perplexed by finding that she was not observed. + +'Now, don't mind an old lady's talk,' said Mrs Boffin, 'but tell me. +Are you quite sure, Mr Rokesmith, that you have never had a +disappointment in love?' + +'Quite sure. Why do you ask me?' + +'Why, for this reason. Sometimes you have a kind of kept-down +manner with you, which is not like your age. You can't be thirty?' + +'I am not yet thirty.' + +Deeming it high time to make her presence known, Bella coughed +here to attract attention, begged pardon, and said she would go, +fearing that she interrupted some matter of business. + +'No, don't go,' rejoined Mrs Boffin, 'because we are coming to +business, instead of having begun it, and you belong to it as much +now, my dear Bella, as I do. But I want my Noddy to consult with +us. Would somebody be so good as find my Noddy for me?' + +Rokesmith departed on that errand, and presently returned +accompanied by Mr Boffin at his jog-trot. Bella felt a little vague +trepidation as to the subject-matter of this same consultation, until +Mrs Boffin announced it. + +'Now, you come and sit by me, my dear,' said that worthy soul, +taking her comfortable place on a large ottoman in the centre of +the room, and drawing her arm through Bella's; 'and Noddy, you +sit here, and Mr Rokesmith you sit there. Now, you see, what I +want to talk about, is this. Mr and Mrs Milvey have sent me the +kindest note possible (which Mr Rokesmith just now read to me +out aloud, for I ain't good at handwritings), offering to find me +another little child to name and educate and bring up. Well. This +has set me thinking.' + +('And she is a steam-ingein at it,' murmured Mr Boffin, in an +admiring parenthesis, 'when she once begins. It mayn't be so easy +to start her; but once started, she's a ingein.') + +'--This has set me thinking, I say,' repeated Mrs Boffin, cordially +beaming under the influence of her husband's compliment, 'and I +have thought two things. First of all, that I have grown timid of +reviving John Harmon's name. It's an unfortunate name, and I +fancy I should reproach myself if I gave it to another dear child, +and it proved again unlucky.' + +'Now, whether,' said Mr Boffin, gravely propounding a case for his +Secretary's opinion; 'whether one might call that a superstition?' + +'It is a matter of feeling with Mrs Boffin,' said Rokesmith, gently. +'The name has always been unfortunate. It has now this new +unfortunate association connected with it. The name has died out. +Why revive it? Might I ask Miss Wilfer what she thinks?' + +'It has not been a fortunate name for me,' said Bella, colouring--'or +at least it was not, until it led to my being here--but that is not the +point in my thoughts. As we had given the name to the poor child, +and as the poor child took so lovingly to me, I think I should feel +jealous of calling another child by it. I think I should feel as if the +name had become endeared to me, and I had no right to use it so.' + +'And that's your opinion?' remarked Mr Boffin, observant of the +Secretary's face and again addressing him. + +'I say again, it is a matter of feeling,' returned the Secretary. 'I +think Miss Wilfer's feeling very womanly and pretty.' + +'Now, give us your opinion, Noddy,' said Mrs Boffin. + +'My opinion, old lady,' returned the Golden Dustman, 'is your +opinion.' + +'Then,' said Mrs Boffin, 'we agree not to revive John Harmon's +name, but to let it rest in the grave. It is, as Mr Rokesmith says, a +matter of feeling, but Lor how many matters ARE matters of +feeling! Well; and so I come to the second thing I have thought +of. You must know, Bella, my dear, and Mr Rokesmith, that +when I first named to my husband my thoughts of adopting a little +orphan boy in remembrance of John Harmon, I further named to +my husband that it was comforting to think that how the poor boy +would be benefited by John's own money, and protected from +John's own forlornness.' + +'Hear, hear!' cried Mr Boffin. 'So she did. Ancoar!' + +'No, not Ancoar, Noddy, my dear,' returned Mrs Boffin, 'because I +am going to say something else. I meant that, I am sure, as I much +as I still mean it. But this little death has made me ask myself the +question, seriously, whether I wasn't too bent upon pleasing +myself. Else why did I seek out so much for a pretty child, and a +child quite to my liking? Wanting to do good, why not do it for its +own sake, and put my tastes and likings by?' + +'Perhaps,' said Bella; and perhaps she said it with some little +sensitiveness arising out of those old curious relations of hers +towards the murdered man; 'perhaps, in reviving the name, you +would not have liked to give it to a less interesting child than the +original. He interested you very much.' + +'Well, my dear,' returned Mrs Boffin, giving her a squeeze, 'it's +kind of you to find that reason out, and I hope it may have been +so, and indeed to a certain extent I believe it was so, but I am +afraid not to the whole extent. However, that don't come in +question now, because we have done with the name.' + +'Laid it up as a remembrance,' suggested Bella, musingly. + +'Much better said, my dear; laid it up as a remembrance. Well +then; I have been thinking if I take any orphan to provide for, let it +not be a pet and a plaything for me, but a creature to be helped for +its own sake.' + +'Not pretty then?' said Bella. + +'No,' returned Mrs Boffin, stoutly. + +'Nor prepossessing then?' said Bella. + +'No,' returned Mrs Boffin. 'Not necessarily so. That's as it may +happen. A well-disposed boy comes in my way who may be even +a little wanting in such advantages for getting on in life, but is +honest and industrious and requires a helping hand and deserves +it. If I am very much in earnest and quite determined to be +unselfish, let me take care of HIM.' + +Here the footman whose feelings had been hurt on the former +occasion, appeared, and crossing to Rokesmith apologetically +announced the objectionable Sloppy. + +The four members of Council looked at one another, and paused. +'Shall he be brought here, ma'am?' asked Rokesmith. + +'Yes,' said Mrs Boffin. Whereupon the footman disappeared, +reappeared presenting Sloppy, and retired much disgusted. + +The consideration of Mrs Boffin had clothed Mr Sloppy in a suit +of black, on which the tailor had received personal directions from +Rokesmith to expend the utmost cunning of his art, with a view to +the concealment of the cohering and sustaining buttons. But, so +much more powerful were the frailties of Sloppy's form than the +strongest resources of tailoring science, that he now stood before +the Council, a perfect Argus in the way of buttons: shining and +winking and gleaming and twinkling out of a hundred of those +eyes of bright metal, at the dazzled spectators. The artistic taste +of some unknown hatter had furnished him with a hatband of +wholesale capacity which was fluted behind, from the crown of +his hat to the brim, and terminated in a black bunch, from which +the imagination shrunk discomfited and the reason revolted. Some +special powers with which his legs were endowed, had already +hitched up his glossy trousers at the ankles, and bagged them at +the knees; while similar gifts in his arms had raised his coat- +sleeves from his wrists and accumulated them at his elbows. Thus +set forth, with the additional embellishments of a very little tail to +his coat, and a yawning gulf at his waistband, Sloppy stood +confessed. + +'And how is Betty, my good fellow?' Mrs Boffin asked him. + +'Thankee, mum,' said Sloppy, 'she do pretty nicely, and sending +her dooty and many thanks for the tea and all faviours and +wishing to know the family's healths.' + +'Have you just come, Sloppy?' + +'Yes, mum.' + +'Then you have not had your dinner yet?' + +'No, mum. But I mean to it. For I ain't forgotten your handsome +orders that I was never to go away without having had a good 'un +off of meat and beer and pudding--no: there was four of 'em, for I +reckoned 'em up when I had 'em; meat one, beer two, vegetables +three, and which was four?--Why, pudding, HE was four!' Here +Sloppy threw his head back, opened his mouth wide, and laughed +rapturously. + +'How are the two poor little Minders?' asked Mrs Boffin. + +'Striking right out, mum, and coming round beautiful.' + +Mrs Boffin looked on the other three members of Council, and +then said, beckoning with her finger: + +'Sloppy.' + +'Yes, mum.' + +'Come forward, Sloppy. Should you like to dine here every day?' + +'Off of all four on 'em, mum? O mum!' Sloppy's feelings obliged +him to squeeze his hat, and contract one leg at the knee. + +'Yes. And should you like to be always taken care of here, if you +were industrious and deserving?' + +'Oh, mum!--But there's Mrs Higden,' said Sloppy, checking himself +in his raptures, drawing back, and shaking his head with very +serious meaning. 'There's Mrs Higden. Mrs Higden goes before +all. None can ever be better friends to me than Mrs Higden's +been. And she must be turned for, must Mrs Higden. Where +would Mrs Higden be if she warn't turned for!' At the mere +thought of Mrs Higden in this inconceivable affliction, Mr +Sloppy's countenance became pale, and manifested the most +distressful emotions. + +'You are as right as right can be, Sloppy,' said Mrs Boffin 'and far +be it from me to tell you otherwise. It shall be seen to. If Betty +Higden can be turned for all the same, you shall come here and be +taken care of for life, and be made able to keep her in other ways +than the turning.' + +'Even as to that, mum,' answered the ecstatic Sloppy, 'the turning +might be done in the night, don't you see? I could be here in the +day, and turn in the night. I don't want no sleep, I don't. Or even +if I any ways should want a wink or two,' added Sloppy, after a +moment's apologetic reflection, 'I could take 'em turning. I've took +'em turning many a time, and enjoyed 'em wonderful!' + +On the grateful impulse of the moment, Mr Sloppy kissed Mrs +Boffin's hand, and then detaching himself from that good creature +that he might have room enough for his feelings, threw back his +head, opened his mouth wide, and uttered a dismal howl. It was +creditable to his tenderness of heart, but suggested that he might +on occasion give some offence to the neighbours: the rather, as +the footman looked in, and begged pardon, finding he was not +wanted, but excused himself; on the ground 'that he thought it was +Cats.' + + + +Chapter 11 + +SOME AFFAIRS OF THE HEART + + +Little Miss Peecher, from her little official dwelling-house, with its +little windows like the eyes in needles, and its little doors like the +covers of school-books, was very observant indeed of the object +of her quiet affections. Love, though said to be afflicted with +blindness, is a vigilant watchman, and Miss Peecher kept him on +double duty over Mr Bradley Headstone. It was not that she was +naturally given to playing the spy--it was not that she was at all +secret, plotting, or mean--it was simply that she loved the +irresponsive Bradley with all the primitive and homely stock of +love that had never been examined or certificated out of her. If +her faithful slate had had the latent qualities of sympathetic paper, +and its pencil those of invisible ink, many a little treatise +calculated to astonish the pupils would have come bursting +through the dry sums in school-time under the warming influence +of Miss Peecher's bosom. For, oftentimes when school was not, +and her calm leisure and calm little house were her own, Miss +Peecher would commit to the confidential slate an imaginary +description of how, upon a balmy evening at dusk, two figures +might have been observed in the market-garden ground round the +corner, of whom one, being a manly form, bent over the other, +being a womanly form of short stature and some compactness, and +breathed in a low voice the words, 'Emma Peecher, wilt thou be +my own?' after which the womanly form's head reposed upon the +manly form's shoulder, and the nightingales tuned up. Though all +unseen, and unsuspected by the pupils, Bradley Headstone even +pervaded the school exercises. Was Geography in question? He +would come triumphantly flying out of Vesuvius and Aetna ahead +of the lava, and would boil unharmed in the hot springs of Iceland, +and would float majestically down the Ganges and the Nile. Did +History chronicle a king of men? Behold him in pepper-and-salt +pantaloons, with his watch-guard round his neck. Were copies to +be written? In capital B's and H's most of the girls under Miss +Peecher's tuition were half a year ahead of every other letter in +the alphabet. And Mental Arithmetic, administered by Miss +Peecher, often devoted itself to providing Bradley Headstone with +a wardrobe of fabulous extent: fourscore and four neck-ties at two +and ninepence-halfpenny, two gross of silver watches at four +pounds fifteen and sixpence, seventy-four black hats at eighteen +shillings; and many similar superfluities. + +The vigilant watchman, using his daily opportunities of turning his +eyes in Bradley's direction, soon apprized Miss Peecher that +Bradley was more preoccupied than had been his wont, and more +given to strolling about with a downcast and reserved face, turning +something difficult in his mind that was not in the scholastic +syllabus. Putting this and that together--combining under the head +'this,' present appearances and the intimacy with Charley Hexam, +and ranging under the head 'that' the visit to his sister, the +watchman reported to Miss Peecher his strong suspicions that the +sister was at the bottom of it. + +'I wonder,' said Miss Peecher, as she sat making up her weekly +report on a half-holiday afternoon, 'what they call Hexam's sister?' + +Mary Anne, at her needlework, attendant and attentive, held her +arm up. + +'Well, Mary Anne?' + +'She is named Lizzie, ma'am.' + +'She can hardly be named Lizzie, I think, Mary Anne,' returned +Miss Peecher, in a tunefully instructive voice. 'Is Lizzie a +Christian name, Mary Anne?' + +Mary Anne laid down her work, rose, hooked herself behind, as +being under catechization, and replied: 'No, it is a corruption, Miss +Peecher.' + +'Who gave her that name?' Miss Peecher was going on, from the +mere force of habit, when she checked herself; on Mary Anne's +evincing theological impatience to strike in with her godfathers +and her godmothers, and said: 'I mean of what name is it a +corruption?' + +'Elizabeth, or Eliza, Miss Peecher.' + +'Right, Mary Anne. Whether there were any Lizzies in the early +Christian Church must be considered very doubtful, very +doubtful.' Miss Peecher was exceedingly sage here. 'Speaking +correctly, we say, then, that Hexam's sister is called Lizzie; not +that she is named so. Do we not, Mary Anne?' + +'We do, Miss Peecher.' + +'And where,' pursued Miss Peecher, complacent in her little +transparent fiction of conducting the examination in a semiofficial +manner for Mary Anne's benefit, not her own, 'where does this +young woman, who is called but not named Lizzie, live? Think, +now, before answering.' + +'In Church Street, Smith Square, by Mill Bank, ma'am.' + +'In Church Street, Smith Square, by Mill Bank,' repeated Miss +Peecher, as if possessed beforehand of the book in which it was +written. Exactly so. And what occupation does this young +woman pursue, Mary Anne? Take time.' + +'She has a place of trust at an outfitter's in the City, ma'am.' + +'Oh!' said Miss Peecher, pondering on it; but smoothly added, in a +confirmatory tone, 'At an outfitter's in the City. Ye-es?' + +'And Charley--' Mary Anne was proceeding, when Miss Peecher +stared. + +'I mean Hexam, Miss Peecher.' + +'I should think you did, Mary Anne. I am glad to hear you do. +And Hexam--' + +'Says,' Mary Anne went on, 'that he is not pleased with his sister, +and that his sister won't be guided by his advice, and persists in +being guided by somebody else's; and that--' + +'Mr Headstone coming across the garden!' exclaimed Miss +Peecher, with a flushed glance at the looking-glass. 'You have +answered very well, Mary Anne. You are forming an excellent +habit of arranging your thoughts clearly. That will do.' + +The discreet Mary Anne resumed her seat and her silence, and +stitched, and stitched, and was stitching when the schoolmaster's +shadow came in before him, announcing that he might be instantly +expected. + +'Good evening, Miss Peecher,' he said, pursuing the shadow, and +taking its place. + +'Good evening, Mr Headstone. Mary Anne, a chair.' + +'Thank you,' said Bradley, seating himself in his constrained +manner. 'This is but a flying visit. I have looked in, on my way, to +ask a kindness of you as a neighbour.' + +'Did you say on your way, Mr Headstone?' asked Miss Peecher. + +'On my way to--where I am going.' + +'Church Street, Smith Square, by Mill Bank,' repeated Miss +Peecher, in her own thoughts. + +'Charley Hexam has gone to get a book or two he wants, and will +probably be back before me. As we leave my house empty, I took +the liberty of telling him I would leave the key here. Would you +kindly allow me to do so?' + +'Certainly, Mr Headstone. Going for an evening walk, sir?' + +'Partly for a walk, and partly for--on business.' + +'Business in Church Street, Smith Square, by Mill Bank,' repeated +Miss Peecher to herself. + +'Having said which,' pursued Bradley, laying his door-key on the +table, 'I must be already going. There is nothing I can do for you, +Miss Peecher?' + +'Thank you, Mr Headstone. In which direction?' + +'In the direction of Westminster.' + +'Mill Bank,' Miss Peecher repeated in her own thoughts once +again. 'No, thank you, Mr Headstone; I'll not trouble you.' + +'You couldn't trouble me,' said the schoolmaster. + +'Ah!' returned Miss Peecher, though not aloud; 'but you can +trouble ME!' And for all her quiet manner, and her quiet smile, +she was full of trouble as he went his way. + +She was right touching his destination. He held as straight a +course for the house of the dolls' dressmaker as the wisdom of his +ancestors, exemplified in the construction of the intervening +streets, would let him, and walked with a bent head hammering at +one fixed idea. It had been an immoveable idea since he first set +eyes upon her. It seemed to him as if all that he could suppress in +himself he had suppressed, as if all that he could restrain in +himself he had restrained, and the time had come--in a rush, in a +moment--when the power of self-command had departed from +him. Love at first sight is a trite expression quite sufficiently +discussed; enough that in certain smouldering natures like this +man's, that passion leaps into a blaze, and makes such head as fire +does in a rage of wind, when other passions, but for its mastery, +could be held in chains. As a multitude of weak, imitative natures +are always lying by, ready to go mad upon the next wrong idea +that may be broached--in these times, generally some form of +tribute to Somebody for something that never was done, or, if ever +done, that was done by Somebody Else--so these less ordinary +natures may lie by for years, ready on the touch of an instant to +burst into flame. + +The schoolmaster went his way, brooding and brooding, and a +sense of being vanquished in a struggle might have been pieced +out of his worried face. Truly, in his breast there lingered a +resentful shame to find himself defeated by this passion for +Charley Hexam's sister, though in the very self-same moments he +was concentrating himself upon the object of bringing the passion +to a successful issue. + +He appeared before the dolls' dressmaker, sitting alone at her +work. 'Oho!' thought that sharp young personage, 'it's you, is it? I +know your tricks and your manners, my friend!' + +'Hexam's sister,' said Bradley Headstone, 'is not come home yet?' + +'You are quite a conjuror,' returned Miss Wren. + +'I will wait, if you please, for I want to speak to her.' + +'Do you?' returned Miss Wren. 'Sit down. I hope it's mutual.' +Bradley glanced distrustfully at the shrewd face again bending +over the work, and said, trying to conquer doubt and hesitation: + +'I hope you don't imply that my visit will be unacceptable to +Hexam's sister?' + +'There! Don't call her that. I can't bear you to call her that,' +returned Miss Wren, snapping her fingers in a volley of impatient +snaps, 'for I don't like Hexam.' + +'Indeed?' + +'No.' Miss Wren wrinkled her nose, to express dislike. 'Selfish. +Thinks only of himself. The way with all of you.' + +'The way with all of us? Then you don't like ME?' + +'So-so,' replied Miss Wren, with a shrug and a laugh. 'Don't know +much about you.' + +'But I was not aware it was the way with all of us,' said Bradley, +returning to the accusation, a little injured. 'Won't you say, some +of us?' + +'Meaning,' returned the little creature, 'every one of you, but you. +Hah! Now look this lady in the face. This is Mrs Truth. The +Honourable. Full-dressed.' + +Bradley glanced at the doll she held up for his observation--which +had been lying on its face on her bench, while with a needle and +thread she fastened the dress on at the back--and looked from it to +her. + +'I stand the Honourable Mrs T. on my bench in this corner against +the wall, where her blue eyes can shine upon you,' pursued Miss +Wren, doing so, and making two little dabs at him in the air with +her needle, as if she pricked him with it in his own eyes; 'and I +defy you to tell me, with Mrs T. for a witness, what you have +come here for.' + +'To see Hexam's sister.' + +'You don't say so!' retorted Miss Wren, hitching her chin. 'But on +whose account?' + +'Her own.' + +'O Mrs T.!' exclaimed Miss Wren. 'You hear him!' + +'To reason with her,' pursued Bradley, half humouring what was +present, and half angry with what was not present; 'for her own +sake.' + +'Oh Mrs T.!' exclaimed the dressmaker. + +'For her own sake,' repeated Bradley, warming, 'and for her +brother's, and as a perfectly disinterested person.' + +'Really, Mrs T.,' remarked the dressmaker, 'since it comes to this, +we must positively turn you with your face to the wall.' She had +hardly done so, when Lizzie Hexam arrived, and showed some +surprise on seeing Bradley Headstone there, and Jenny shaking +her little fist at him close before her eyes, and the Honourable Mrs +T. with her face to the wall. + +'Here's a perfectly disinterested person, Lizzie dear,' said the +knowing Miss Wren, 'come to talk with you, for your own sake +and your brother's. Think of that. I am sure there ought to be no +third party present at anything so very kind and so very serious; +and so, if you'll remove the third party upstairs, my dear, the third +party will retire.' + +Lizzie took the hand which the dolls' dressmaker held out to her +for the purpose of being supported away, but only looked at her +with an inquiring smile, and made no other movement. + +'The third party hobbles awfully, you know, when she's left to +herself;' said Miss Wren, 'her back being so bad, and her legs so +queer; so she can't retire gracefully unless you help her, Lizzie.' + +'She can do no better than stay where she is,' returned Lizzie, +releasing the hand, and laying her own lightly on Miss Jenny's +curls. And then to Bradley: 'From Charley, sir?' + +In an irresolute way, and stealing a clumsy look at her, Bradley +rose to place a chair for her, and then returned to his own. + +'Strictly speaking,' said he, 'I come from Charley, because I left +him only a little while ago; but I am not commissioned by Charley. +I come of my own spontaneous act.' + +With her elbows on her bench, and her chin upon her hands, Miss +Jenny Wren sat looking at him with a watchful sidelong look. +Lizzie, in her different way, sat looking at him too. + +'The fact is,' began Bradley, with a mouth so dry that he had some +difficulty in articulating his words: the consciousness of which +rendered his manner still more ungainly and undecided; 'the truth +is, that Charley, having no secrets from me (to the best of my +belief), has confided the whole of this matter to me.' + +He came to a stop, and Lizzie asked: 'what matter, sir?' + +'I thought,' returned the schoolmaster, stealing another look at her, +and seeming to try in vain to sustain it; for the look dropped as it +lighted on her eyes, 'that it might be so superfluous as to be almost +impertinent, to enter upon a definition of it. My allusion was to +this matter of your having put aside your brother's plans for you, +and given the preference to those of Mr--I believe the name is Mr +Eugene Wrayburn.' + +He made this point of not being certain of the name, with another +uneasy look at her, which dropped like the last. + +Nothing being said on the other side, he had to begin again, and +began with new embarrassment. + +'Your brother's plans were communicated to me when he first had +them in his thoughts. In point of fact he spoke to me about them +when I was last here--when we were walking back together, and +when I--when the impression was fresh upon me of having seen +his sister.' + +There might have been no meaning in it, but the little dressmaker +here removed one of her supporting hands from her chin, and +musingly turned the Honourable Mrs T. with her face to the +company. That done, she fell into her former attitude. + +'I approved of his idea,' said Bradley, with his uneasy look +wandering to the doll, and unconsciously resting there longer than +it had rested on Lizzie, 'both because your brother ought naturally +to be the originator of any such scheme, and because I hoped to +be able to promote it. I should have had inexpressible pleasure, I +should have taken inexpressible interest, in promoting it. +Therefore I must acknowledge that when your brother was +disappointed, I too was disappointed. I wish to avoid reservation +or concealment, and I fully acknowledge that.' + +He appeared to have encouraged himself by having got so far. At +all events he went on with much greater firmness and force of +emphasis: though with a curious disposition to set his teeth, and +with a curious tight-screwing movement of his right hand in the +clenching palm of his left, like the action of one who was being +physically hurt, and was unwilling to cry out. + +'I am a man of strong feelings, and I have strongly felt this +disappointment. I do strongly feel it. I don't show what I feel; +some of us are obliged habitually to keep it down. To keep it +down. But to return to your brother. He has taken the matter so +much to heart that he has remonstrated (in my presence he +remonstrated) with Mr Eugene Wrayburn, if that be the name. He +did so, quite ineffectually. As any one not blinded to the real +character of Mr--Mr Eugene Wrayburn--would readily suppose.' + +He looked at Lizzie again, and held the look. And his face turned +from burning red to white, and from white back to burning red, +and so for the time to lasting deadly white. + +'Finally, I resolved to come here alone, and appeal to you. I +resolved to come here alone, and entreat you to retract the course +you have chosen, and instead of confiding in a mere stranger--a +person of most insolent behaviour to your brother and others--to +prefer your brother and your brother's friend.' + +Lizzie Hexam had changed colour when those changes came over +him, and her face now expressed some anger, more dislike, and +even a touch of fear. But she answered him very steadily. + +'I cannot doubt, Mr Headstone, that your visit is well meant. You +have been so good a friend to Charley that I have no right to +doubt it. I have nothing to tell Charley, but that I accepted the +help to which he so much objects before he made any plans for +me; or certainly before I knew of any. It was considerately and +delicately offered, and there were reasons that had weight with me +which should be as dear to Charley as to me. I have no more to +say to Charley on this subject.' + +His lips trembled and stood apart, as he followed this repudiation +of himself; and limitation of her words to her brother. + +'I should have told Charley, if he had come to me,' she resumed, as +though it were an after-thought, 'that Jenny and I find our teacher +very able and very patient, and that she takes great pains with us. +So much so, that we have said to her we hope in a very little while +to be able to go on by ourselves. Charley knows about teachers, +and I should also have told him, for his satisfaction, that ours +comes from an institution where teachers are regularly brought +up.' + +'I should like to ask you,' said Bradley Headstone, grinding his +words slowly out, as though they came from a rusty mill; 'I should +like to ask you, if I may without offence, whether you would have +objected--no; rather, I should like to say, if I may without offence, +that I wish I had had the opportunity of coming here with your +brother and devoting my poor abilities and experience to your +service.' + +'Thank you, Mr Headstone.' + +'But I fear,' he pursued, after a pause, furtively wrenching at the +seat of his chair with one hand, as if he would have wrenched the +chair to pieces, and gloomily observing her while her eyes were +cast down, 'that my humble services would not have found much +favour with you?' + +She made no reply, and the poor stricken wretch sat contending +with himself in a heat of passion and torment. After a while he +took out his handkerchief and wiped his forehead and hands. + +'There is only one thing more I had to say, but it is the most +important. There is a reason against this matter, there is a +personal relation concerned in this matter, not yet explained to +you. It might--I don't say it would--it might--induce you to think +differently. To proceed under the present circumstances is out of +the question. Will you please come to the understanding that +there shall be another interview on the subject?' + +'With Charley, Mr Headstone?' + +'With--well,' he answered, breaking off, 'yes! Say with him too. +Will you please come to the understanding that there must be +another interview under more favourable circumstances, before +the whole case can be submitted?' + +'I don't,' said Lizzie, shaking her head, 'understand your meaning, +Mr Headstone.' + +'Limit my meaning for the present,' he interrupted, 'to the whole +case being submitted to you in another interview.' + +'What case, Mr Headstone? What is wanting to it?' + +'You--you shall be informed in the other interview.' Then he said, +as if in a burst of irrepressible despair, 'I--I leave it all incomplete! +There is a spell upon me, I think!' And then added, almost as if he +asked for pity, 'Good-night!' + +He held out his hand. As she, with manifest hesitation, not to say +reluctance, touched it, a strange tremble passed over him, and his +face, so deadly white, was moved as by a stroke of pain. Then he +was gone. + +The dolls' dressmaker sat with her attitude unchanged, eyeing the +door by which he had departed, until Lizzie pushed her bench +aside and sat down near her. Then, eyeing Lizzie as she had +previously eyed Bradley and the door, Miss Wren chopped that +very sudden and keen chop in which her jaws sometimes indulged, +leaned back in her chair with folded arms, and thus expressed +herself: + +'Humph! If he--I mean, of course, my dear, the party who is +coming to court me when the time comes--should be THAT sort of +man, he may spare himself the trouble. HE wouldn't do to be +trotted about and made useful. He'd take fire and blow up while +he was about it. + +'And so you would be rid of him,' said Lizzie, humouring her. + +'Not so easily,' returned Miss Wren. 'He wouldn't blow up alone. +He'd carry me up with him. I know his tricks and his manners.' + +'Would he want to hurt you, do you mean?' asked Lizzie. + +'Mightn't exactly want to do it, my dear,' returned Miss Wren; 'but +a lot of gunpowder among lighted lucifer-matches in the next +room might almost as well be here.' + +'He is a very strange man,' said Lizzie, thoughtfully. + +'I wish he was so very strange a man as to be a total stranger,' +answered the sharp little thing. + +It being Lizzie's regular occupation when they were alone of an +evening to brush out and smooth the long fair hair of the dolls' +dressmaker, she unfastened a ribbon that kept it back while the +little creature was at her work, and it fell in a beautiful shower +over the poor shoulders that were much in need of such adorning +rain. 'Not now, Lizzie, dear,' said Jenny; 'let us have a talk by the +fire.' With those words, she in her turn loosened her friend's dark +hair, and it dropped of its own weight over her bosom, in two rich +masses. Pretending to compare the colours and admire the +contrast, Jenny so managed a mere touch or two of her nimble +hands, as that she herself laying a cheek on one of the dark folds, +seemed blinded by her own clustering curls to all but the fire, +while the fine handsome face and brow of Lizzie were revealed +without obstruction in the sombre light. + +'Let us have a talk,' said Jenny, 'about Mr Eugene Wrayburn.' + +Something sparkled down among the fair hair resting on the dark +hair; and if it were not a star--which it couldn't be--it was an eye; +and if it were an eye, it was Jenny Wren's eye, bright and watchful +as the bird's whose name she had taken. + +'Why about Mr Wrayburn?' Lizzie asked. + +'For no better reason than because I'm in the humour. I wonder +whether he's rich!' + +'No, not rich.' + +'Poor?' + +'I think so, for a gentleman.' + +'Ah! To be sure! Yes, he's a gentleman. Not of our sort; is he?' +A shake of the head, a thoughtful shake of the head, and the +answer, softly spoken, 'Oh no, oh no!' + +The dolls' dressmaker had an arm round her friend's waist. +Adjusting the arm, she slyly took the opportunity of blowing at her +own hair where it fell over her face; then the eye down there, +under lighter shadows sparkled more brightly and appeared more +watchful. + +'When He turns up, he shan't be a gentleman; I'll very soon send +him packing, if he is. However, he's not Mr Wrayburn; I haven't +captivated HIM. I wonder whether anybody has, Lizzie!' + +'It is very likely.' + +'Is it very likely? I wonder who!' + +'Is it not very likely that some lady has been taken by him, and +that he may love her dearly?' + +'Perhaps. I don't know. What would you think of him, Lizzie, if +you were a lady?' + +'I a lady!' she repeated, laughing. 'Such a fancy!' + +'Yes. But say: just as a fancy, and for instance.' + +'I a lady! I, a poor girl who used to row poor father on the river. +I, who had rowed poor father out and home on the very night +when I saw him for the first time. I, who was made so timid by his +looking at me, that I got up and went out!' + +('He did look at you, even that night, though you were not a lady!' +thought Miss Wren.) + +'I a lady!' Lizzie went on in a low voice, with her eyes upon the +fire. 'I, with poor father's grave not even cleared of undeserved +stain and shame, and he trying to clear it for me! I a lady!' + +'Only as a fancy, and for instance,' urged Miss Wren. + +'Too much, Jenny, dear, too much! My fancy is not able to get +that far.' As the low fire gleamed upon her, it showed her smiling, +mournfully and abstractedly. + +'But I am in the humour, and I must be humoured, Lizzie, because +after all I am a poor little thing, and have had a hard day with my +bad child. Look in the fire, as I like to hear you tell how you used +to do when you lived in that dreary old house that had once been +a windmill. Look in the--what was its name when you told +fortunes with your brother that I DON'T like?' + +'The hollow down by the flare?' + +'Ah! That's the name! You can find a lady there, I know.' + +'More easily than I can make one of such material as myself, +Jenny.' + +The sparkling eye looked steadfastly up, as the musing face +looked thoughtfully down. 'Well?' said the dolls' dressmaker, 'We +have found our lady?' + +Lizzie nodded, and asked, 'Shall she be rich?' + +'She had better be, as he's poor.' + +'She is very rich. Shall she be handsome?' + +'Even you can be that, Lizzie, so she ought to be.' + +'She is very handsome.' + +'What does she say about him?' asked Miss Jenny, in a low voice: +watchful, through an intervening silence, of the face looking down +at the fire. + +'She is glad, glad, to be rich, that he may have the money. She is +glad, glad, to be beautiful, that he may be proud of her. Her poor +heart--' + +'Eh? Her poor hear?' said Miss Wren. + +'Her heart--is given him, with all its love and truth. She would +joyfully die with him, or, better than that, die for him. She knows +he has failings, but she thinks they have grown up through his +being like one cast away, for the want of something to trust in, and +care for, and think well of. And she says, that lady rich and +beautiful that I can never come near, "Only put me in that empty +place, only try how little I mind myself, only prove what a world +of things I will do and bear for you, and I hope that you might +even come to be much better than you are, through me who am so +much worse, and hardly worth the thinking of beside you."' + +As the face looking at the fire had become exalted and forgetful in +the rapture of these words, the little creature, openly clearing +away her fair hair with her disengaged hand, had gazed at it with +earnest attention and something like alarm. Now that the speaker +ceased, the little creature laid down her head again, and moaned, +'O me, O me, O me!' + +'In pain, dear Jenny?' asked Lizzie, as if awakened. + +'Yes, but not the old pain. Lay me down, lay me down. Don't go +out of my sight to-night. Lock the door and keep close to me. +Then turning away her face, she said in a whisper to herself, 'My +Lizzie, my poor Lizzie! O my blessed children, come back in the +long bright slanting rows, and come for her, not me. She wants +help more than I, my blessed children!' + +She had stretched her hands up with that higher and better look, +and now she turned again, and folded them round Lizzie's neck, +and rocked herself on Lizzie's breast. + + + +Chapter 12 + +MORE BIRDS OF PREY + + +Rogue Riderhood dwelt deep and dark in Limehouse Hole, among +the riggers, and the mast, oar and block makers, and the boat- +builders, and the sail-lofts, as in a kind of ship's hold stored full of +waterside characters, some no better than himself, some very +much better, and none much worse. The Hole, albeit in a general +way not over nice in its choice of company, was rather shy in +reference to the honour of cultivating the Rogue's acquaintance; +more frequently giving him the cold shoulder than the warm hand, +and seldom or never drinking with him unless at his own expense. +A part of the Hole, indeed, contained so much public spirit and +private virtue that not even this strong leverage could move it to +good fellowship with a tainted accuser. But, there may have been +the drawback on this magnanimous morality, that its exponents +held a true witness before Justice to be the next unneighbourly +and accursed character to a false one. + +Had it not been for the daughter whom he often mentioned, Mr +Riderhood might have found the Hole a mere grave as to any +means it would yield him of getting a living. But Miss Pleasant +Riderhood had some little position and connection in Limehouse +Hole. Upon the smallest of small scales, she was an unlicensed +pawnbroker, keeping what was popularly called a Leaving Shop, +by lending insignificant sums on insignificant articles of property +deposited with her as security. In her four-and-twentieth year of +life, Pleasant was already in her fifth year of this way of trade. +Her deceased mother had established the business, and on that +parent's demise she had appropriated a secret capital of fifteen +shillings to establishing herself in it; the existence of such capital +in a pillow being the last intelligible confidential communication +made to her by the departed, before succumbing to dropsical +conditions of snuff and gin, incompatible equally with coherence +and existence. + +Why christened Pleasant, the late Mrs Riderhood might possibly +have been at some time able to explain, and possibly not. Her +daughter had no information on that point. Pleasant she found +herself, and she couldn't help it. She had not been consulted on +the question, any more than on the question of her coming into +these terrestrial parts, to want a name. Similarly, she found +herself possessed of what is colloquially termed a swivel eye +(derived from her father), which she might perhaps have declined +if her sentiments on the subject had been taken. She was not +otherwise positively ill-looking, though anxious, meagre, of a +muddy complexion, and looking as old again as she really was. + +As some dogs have it in the blood, or are trained, to worry certain +creatures to a certain point, so--not to make the comparison +disrespectfully--Pleasant Riderhood had it in the blood, or had +been trained, to regard seamen, within certain limits, as her prey. +Show her a man in a blue jacket, and, figuratively speaking, she +pinned him instantly. Yet, all things considered, she was not of an +evil mind or an unkindly disposition. For, observe how many +things were to be considered according to her own unfortunate +experience. Show Pleasant Riderhood a Wedding in the street, +and she only saw two people taking out a regular licence to +quarrel and fight. Show her a Christening, and she saw a little +heathen personage having a quite superfluous name bestowed +upon it, inasmuch as it would be commonly addressed by some +abusive epithet: which little personage was not in the least wanted +by anybody, and would be shoved and banged out of everybody's +way, until it should grow big enough to shove and bang. Show her +a Funeral, and she saw an unremunerative ceremony in the nature +of a black masquerade, conferring a temporary gentility on the +performers, at an immense expense, and representing the only +formal party ever given by the deceased. Show her a live father, +and she saw but a duplicate of her own father, who from her +infancy had been taken with fits and starts of discharging his duty +to her, which duty was always incorporated in the form of a fist or +a leathern strap, and being discharged hurt her. All things +considered, therefore, Pleasant Riderhood was not so very, very +bad. There was even a touch of romance in her--of such romance +as could creep into Limehouse Hole--and maybe sometimes of a +summer evening, when she stood with folded arms at her shop- +door, looking from the reeking street to the sky where the sun was +setting, she may have had some vaporous visions of far-off islands +in the southern seas or elsewhere (not being geographically +particular), where it would be good to roam with a congenial +partner among groves of bread-fruit, waiting for ships to be wafted +from the hollow ports of civilization. For, sailors to be got the +better of, were essential to Miss Pleasant's Eden. + +Not on a summer evening did she come to her little shop-door, +when a certain man standing over against the house on the +opposite side of the street took notice of her. That was on a cold +shrewd windy evening, after dark. Pleasant Riderhood shared +with most of the lady inhabitants of the Hole, the peculiarity that +her hair was a ragged knot, constantly coming down behind, and +that she never could enter upon any undertaking without first +twisting it into place. At that particular moment, being newly +come to the threshold to take a look out of doors, she was winding +herself up with both hands after this fashion. And so prevalent +was the fashion, that on the occasion of a fight or other +disturbance in the Hole, the ladies would be seen flocking from all +quarters universally twisting their back-hair as they came along, +and many of them, in the hurry of the moment, carrying their +back-combs in their mouths. + +It was a wretched little shop, with a roof that any man standing in +it could touch with his hand; little better than a cellar or cave, +down three steps. Yet in its ill-lighted window, among a flaring +handkerchief or two, an old peacoat or so, a few valueless +watches and compasses, a jar of tobacco and two crossed pipes, a +bottle of walnut ketchup, and some horrible sweets these creature +discomforts serving as a blind to the main business of the Leaving +Shop--was displayed the inscription SEAMAN'S BOARDING-HOUSE. + +Taking notice of Pleasant Riderhood at the door, the man crossed +so quickly that she was still winding herself up, when he stood +close before her. + +'Is your father at home?' said he. + +'I think he is,' returned Pleasant, dropping her arms; 'come in.' + +It was a tentative reply, the man having a seafaring appearance. +Her father was not at home, and Pleasant knew it. 'Take a seat by +the fire,' were her hospitable words when she had got him in; 'men +of your calling are always welcome here.' + +'Thankee,' said the man. + +His manner was the manner of a sailor, and his hands were the +hands of a sailor, except that they were smooth. Pleasant had an +eye for sailors, and she noticed the unused colour and texture of +the hands, sunburnt though they were, as sharply as she noticed +their unmistakable looseness and suppleness, as he sat himself +down with his left arm carelessly thrown across his left leg a little +above the knee, and the right arm as carelessly thrown over the +elbow of the wooden chair, with the hand curved, half open and +half shut, as if it had just let go a rope. + +'Might you be looking for a Boarding-House?' Pleasant inquired, +taking her observant stand on one side of the fire. + +'I don't rightly know my plans yet,' returned the man. + +'You ain't looking for a Leaving Shop?' + +'No,' said the man. + +'No,' assented Pleasant, 'you've got too much of an outfit on you +for that. But if you should want either, this is both.' + +'Ay, ay!' said the man, glancing round the place. 'I know. I've +been here before.' + +'Did you Leave anything when you were here before?' asked +Pleasant, with a view to principal and interest. + +'No.' The man shook his head. + +'I am pretty sure you never boarded here?' + +'No.' The man again shook his head. + +'What DID you do here when you were here before?' asked +Pleasant. 'For I don't remember you.' + +'It's not at all likely you should. I only stood at the door, one +night--on the lower step there--while a shipmate of mine looked in +to speak to your father. I remember the place well.' Looking very +curiously round it. + +'Might that have been long ago?' + +'Ay, a goodish bit ago. When I came off my last voyage.' + +'Then you have not been to sea lately?' + +'No. Been in the sick bay since then, and been employed ashore.' + +'Then, to be sure, that accounts for your hands.' + +The man with a keen look, a quick smile, and a change of manner, +caught her up. 'You're a good observer. Yes. That accounts for +my hands.' + +Pleasant was somewhat disquieted by his look, and returned it +suspiciously. Not only was his change of manner, though very +sudden, quite collected, but his former manner, which he resumed, +had a certain suppressed confidence and sense of power in it that +were half threatening. + +'Will your father be long?' he inquired. + +'I don't know. I can't say.' + +'As you supposed he was at home, it would seem that he has just +gone out? How's that?' + +'I supposed he had come home,' Pleasant explained. + +'Oh! You supposed he had come home? Then he has been some +time out? How's that?' + +'I don't want to deceive you. Father's on the river in his boat.' + +'At the old work?' asked the man. + +'I don't know what you mean,' said Pleasant, shrinking a step back. +'What on earth d'ye want?' + +'I don't want to hurt your father. I don't want to say I might, if I +chose. I want to speak to him. Not much in that, is there? There +shall be no secrets from you; you shall be by. And plainly, Miss +Riderhood, there's nothing to be got out of me, or made of me. I +am not good for the Leaving Shop, I am not good for the +Boarding-House, I am not good for anything in your way to the +extent of sixpenn'orth of halfpence. Put the idea aside, and we +shall get on together.' + +'But you're a seafaring man?' argued Pleasant, as if that were a +sufficient reason for his being good for something in her way. + +'Yes and no. I have been, and I may be again. But I am not for +you. Won't you take my word for it?' + +The conversation had arrived at a crisis to justify Miss Pleasant's +hair in tumbling down. It tumbled down accordingly, and she +twisted it up, looking from under her bent forehead at the man. In +taking stock of his familiarly worn rough-weather nautical clothes, +piece by piece, she took stock of a formidable knife in a sheath at +his waist ready to his hand, and of a whistle hanging round his +neck, and of a short jagged knotted club with a loaded head that +peeped out of a pocket of his loose outer jacket or frock. He sat +quietly looking at her; but, with these appendages partially +revealing themselves, and with a quantity of bristling oakum- +coloured head and whisker, he had a formidable appearance. + +'Won't you take my word for it?' he asked again. + +Pleasant answered with a short dumb nod. He rejoined with +another short dumb nod. Then he got up and stood with his arms +folded, in front of the fire, looking down into it occasionally, as +she stood with her arms folded, leaning against the side of the +chimney-piece. + +'To wile away the time till your father comes,' he said,--'pray is +there much robbing and murdering of seamen about the water-side +now?' + +'No,' said Pleasant. + +'Any?' + +'Complaints of that sort are sometimes made, about Ratcliffe and +Wapping and up that way. But who knows how many are true?' + +'To be sure. And it don't seem necessary.' + +'That's what I say,' observed Pleasant. 'Where's the reason for it? +Bless the sailors, it ain't as if they ever could keep what they have, +without it.' + +'You're right. Their money may be soon got out of them, without +violence,' said the man. + +'Of course it may,' said Pleasant; 'and then they ship again and get +more. And the best thing for 'em, too, to ship again as soon as +ever they can be brought to it. They're never so well off as when +they're afloat.' + +'I'll tell you why I ask,' pursued the visitor, looking up from the +fire. 'I was once beset that way myself, and left for dead.' + +'No?' said Pleasant. 'Where did it happen?' + +'It happened,' returned the man, with a ruminative air, as he drew +his right hand across his chin, and dipped the other in the pocket +of his rough outer coat, 'it happened somewhere about here as I +reckon. I don't think it can have been a mile from here.' + +'Were you drunk?' asked Pleasant. + +'I was muddled, but not with fair drinking. I had not been +drinking, you understand. A mouthful did it.' + +Pleasant with a grave look shook her head; importing that she +understood the process, but decidedly disapproved. + +'Fair trade is one thing,' said she, 'but that's another. No one has a +right to carry on with Jack in THAT way.' + +'The sentiment does you credit,' returned the man, with a grim +smile; and added, in a mutter, 'the more so, as I believe it's not +your father's.--Yes, I had a bad time of it, that time. I lost +everything, and had a sharp struggle for my life, weak as I was.' + +'Did you get the parties punished?' asked Pleasant. + +'A tremendous punishment followed,' said the man, more +seriously; 'but it was not of my bringing about.' + +'Of whose, then?' asked Pleasant. + +The man pointed upward with his forefinger, and, slowly +recovering that hand, settled his chin in it again as he looked at the +fire. Bringing her inherited eye to bear upon him, Pleasant +Riderhood felt more and more uncomfortable, his manner was so +mysterious, so stern, so self-possessed. + +'Anyways,' said the damsel, 'I am glad punishment followed, and I +say so. Fair trade with seafaring men gets a bad name through +deeds of violence. I am as much against deeds of violence being +done to seafaring men, as seafaring men can be themselves. I am +of the same opinion as my mother was, when she was living. Fair +trade, my mother used to say, but no robbery and no blows.' In +the way of trade Miss Pleasant would have taken--and indeed did +take when she could--as much as thirty shillings a week for board +that would be dear at five, and likewise conducted the Leaving +business upon correspondingly equitable principles; yet she had +that tenderness of conscience and those feelings of humanity, that +the moment her ideas of trade were overstepped, she became the +seaman's champion, even against her father whom she seldom +otherwise resisted. + +But, she was here interrupted by her father's voice exclaiming +angrily, 'Now, Poll Parrot!' and by her father's hat being heavily +flung from his hand and striking her face. Accustomed to such +occasional manifestations of his sense of parental duty, Pleasant +merely wiped her face on her hair (which of course had tumbled +down) before she twisted it up. This was another common +procedure on the part of the ladies of the Hole, when heated by +verbal or fistic altercation. + +'Blest if I believe such a Poll Parrot as you was ever learned to +speak!' growled Mr Riderhood, stooping to pick up his hat, and +making a feint at her with his head and right elbow; for he took +the delicate subject of robbing seamen in extraordinary dudgeon, +and was out of humour too. 'What are you Poll Parroting at now? +Ain't you got nothing to do but fold your arms and stand a Poll +Parroting all night?' + +'Let her alone,' urged the man. 'She was only speaking to me.' + +'Let her alone too!' retorted Mr Riderhood, eyeing him all over. +'Do you know she's my daughter?' + +'Yes.' + +'And don't you know that I won't have no Poll Parroting on the +part of my daughter? No, nor yet that I won't take no Poll +Parroting from no man? And who may YOU be, and what may +YOU want?' + +'How can I tell you until you are silent?' returned the other +fiercely. + +'Well,' said Mr Riderhood, quailing a little, 'I am willing to be +silent for the purpose of hearing. But don't Poll Parrot me.' + +'Are you thirsty, you?' the man asked, in the same fierce short +way, after returning his look. + +'Why nat'rally,' said Mr Riderhood, 'ain't I always thirsty!' +(Indignant at the absurdity of the question.) + +'What will you drink?' demanded the man. + +'Sherry wine,' returned Mr Riderhood, in the same sharp tone, 'if +you're capable of it.' + +The man put his hand in his pocket, took out half a sovereign, and +begged the favour of Miss Pleasant that she would fetch a bottle. +'With the cork undrawn,' he added, emphatically, looking at her +father. + +'I'll take my Alfred David,' muttered Mr Riderhood, slowly +relaxing into a dark smile, 'that you know a move. Do I know +YOU? N--n--no, I don't know you.' + +The man replied, 'No, you don't know me.' And so they stood +looking at one another surlily enough, until Pleasant came back. + +'There's small glasses on the shelf,' said Riderhood to his daughter. +'Give me the one without a foot. I gets my living by the sweat of +my brow, and it's good enough for ME.' This had a modest self- +denying appearance; but it soon turned out that as, by reason of +the impossibility of standing the glass upright while there was +anything in it, it required to be emptied as soon as filled, Mr +Riderhood managed to drink in the proportion of three to one. + +With his Fortunatus's goblet ready in his hand, Mr Riderhood sat +down on one side of the table before the fire, and the strange man +on the other: Pleasant occupying a stool between the latter and the +fireside. The background, composed of handkerchiefs, coats, +shirts, hats, and other old articles 'On Leaving,' had a general dim +resemblance to human listeners; especially where a shiny black +sou'wester suit and hat hung, looking very like a clumsy mariner +with his back to the company, who was so curious to overhear, +that he paused for the purpose with his coat half pulled on, and his +shoulders up to his ears in the uncompleted action. + +The visitor first held the bottle against the light of the candle, and +next examined the top of the cork. Satisfied that it had not been +tampered with, he slowly took from his breastpocket a rusty clasp- +knife, and, with a corkscrew in the handle, opened the wine. That +done, he looked at the cork, unscrewed it from the corkscrew, laid +each separately on the table, and, with the end of the sailor's knot +of his neckerchief, dusted the inside of the neck of the bottle. All +this with great deliberation. + +At first Riderhood had sat with his footless glass extended at arm's +length for filling, while the very deliberate stranger seemed +absorbed in his preparations. But, gradually his arm reverted +home to him, and his glass was lowered and lowered until he +rested it upside down upon the table. By the same degrees his +attention became concentrated on the knife. And now, as the man +held out the bottle to fill all round, Riderhood stood up, leaned +over the table to look closer at the knife, and stared from it to him. + +'What's the matter?' asked the man. + +'Why, I know that knife!' said Riderhood. + +'Yes, I dare say you do.' + +He motioned to him to hold up his glass, and filled it. Riderhood +emptied it to the last drop and began again. + +'That there knife--' + +'Stop,' said the man, composedly. 'I was going to drink to your +daughter. Your health, Miss Riderhood.' + +'That knife was the knife of a seaman named George Radfoot.' + +'It was.' + +'That seaman was well beknown to me.' + +'He was.' + +'What's come to him?' + +'Death has come to him. Death came to him in an ugly shape. He +looked,' said the man, 'very horrible after it.' + +'Arter what?' said Riderhood, with a frowning stare. + +'After he was killed.' + +'Killed? Who killed him?' + +Only answering with a shrug, the man filled the footless glass, and +Riderhood emptied it: looking amazedly from his daughter to his +visitor. + +'You don't mean to tell a honest man--' he was recommencing with +his empty glass in his hand, when his eye became fascinated by +the stranger's outer coat. He leaned across the table to see it +nearer, touched the sleeve, turned the cuff to look at the sleeve- +lining (the man, in his perfect composure, offering not the least +objection), and exclaimed, 'It's my belief as this here coat was +George Radfoot's too!' + +'You are right. He wore it the last time you ever saw him, and the +last time you ever will see him--in this world.' + +'It's my belief you mean to tell me to my face you killed him!' +exclaimed Riderhood; but, nevertheless, allowing his glass to be +filled again. + +The man only answered with another shrug, and showed no +symptom of confusion. + +'Wish I may die if I know what to be up to with this chap!' said +Riderhood, after staring at him, and tossing his last glassful down +his throat. 'Let's know what to make of you. Say something +plain.' + +'I will,' returned the other, leaning forward across the table, and +speaking in a low impressive voice. 'What a liar you are!' + +The honest witness rose, and made as though he would fling his +glass in the man's face. The man not wincing, and merely shaking +his forefinger half knowingly, half menacingly, the piece of +honesty thought better of it and sat down again, putting the glass +down too. + +'And when you went to that lawyer yonder in the Temple with that +invented story,' said the stranger, in an exasperatingly comfortable +sort of confidence, 'you might have had your strong suspicions of +a friend of your own, you know. I think you had, you know.' + +'Me my suspicions? Of what friend?' + +'Tell me again whose knife was this?' demanded the man. + +'It was possessed by, and was the property of--him as I have made +mention on,' said Riderhood, stupidly evading the actual mention +of the name. + +'Tell me again whose coat was this?' + +'That there article of clothing likeways belonged to, and was wore +by--him as I have made mention on,' was again the dull Old Bailey +evasion. + +'I suspect that you gave him the credit of the deed, and of keeping +cleverly out of the way. But there was small cleverness in HIS +keeping out of the way. The cleverness would have been, to have +got back for one single instant to the light of the sun.' + +'Things is come to a pretty pass,' growled Mr Riderhood, rising to +his feet, goaded to stand at bay, 'when bullyers as is wearing dead +men's clothes, and bullyers as is armed with dead men's knives, is +to come into the houses of honest live men, getting their livings by +the sweats of their brows, and is to make these here sort of +charges with no rhyme and no reason, neither the one nor yet the +other! Why should I have had my suspicions of him?' + +'Because you knew him,' replied the man; 'because you had been +one with him, and knew his real character under a fair outside; +because on the night which you had afterwards reason to believe +to be the very night of the murder, he came in here, within an hour +of his having left his ship in the docks, and asked you in what +lodgings he could find room. Was there no stranger with him?' + +'I'll take my world-without-end everlasting Alfred David that you +warn't with him,' answered Riderhood. 'You talk big, you do, but +things look pretty black against yourself, to my thinking. You +charge again' me that George Radfoot got lost sight of, and was no +more thought of. What's that for a sailor? Why there's fifty such, +out of sight and out of mind, ten times as long as him--through +entering in different names, re-shipping when the out'ard voyage is +made, and what not--a turning up to light every day about here, +and no matter made of it. Ask my daughter. You could go on Poll +Parroting enough with her, when I warn't come in: Poll Parrot a +little with her on this pint. You and your suspicions of my +suspicions of him! What are my suspicions of you? You tell me +George Radfoot got killed. I ask you who done it and how you +know it. You carry his knife and you wear his coat. I ask you +how you come by 'em? Hand over that there bottle!' Here Mr +Riderhood appeared to labour under a virtuous delusion that it +was his own property. 'And you,' he added, turning to his +daughter, as he filled the footless glass, 'if it warn't wasting good +sherry wine on you, I'd chuck this at you, for Poll Parroting with +this man. It's along of Poll Parroting that such like as him gets +their suspicions, whereas I gets mine by argueyment, and being +nat'rally a honest man, and sweating away at the brow as a honest +man ought.' Here he filled the footless goblet again, and stood +chewing one half of its contents and looking down into the other +as he slowly rolled the wine about in the glass; while Pleasant, +whose sympathetic hair had come down on her being +apostrophised, rearranged it, much in the style of the tail of a +horse when proceeding to market to be sold. + +'Well? Have you finished?' asked the strange man. + +'No,' said Riderhood, 'I ain't. Far from it. Now then! I want to +know how George Radfoot come by his death, and how you come +by his kit?' + +'If you ever do know, you won't know now.' + +'And next I want to know,' proceeded Riderhood 'whether you +mean to charge that what-you-may-call-it-murder--' + +'Harmon murder, father,' suggested Pleasant. + +'No Poll Parroting!' he vociferated, in return. 'Keep your mouth +shut!--I want to know, you sir, whether you charge that there +crime on George Radfoot?' + +'If you ever do know, you won't know now.' + +'Perhaps you done it yourself?' said Riderhood, with a threatening +action. + +'I alone know,' returned the man, sternly shaking his head, 'the +mysteries of that crime. I alone know that your trumped-up story +cannot possibly be true. I alone know that it must be altogether +false, and that you must know it to be altogether false. I come +here to-night to tell you so much of what I know, and no more.' + +Mr Riderhood, with his crooked eye upon his visitor, meditated +for some moments, and then refilled his glass, and tipped the +contents down his throat in three tips. + +'Shut the shop-door!' he then said to his daughter, putting the glass +suddenly down. 'And turn the key and stand by it! If you know +all this, you sir,' getting, as he spoke, between the visitor and the +door, 'why han't you gone to Lawyer Lightwood?' + +'That, also, is alone known to myself,' was the cool answer. + +'Don't you know that, if you didn't do the deed, what you say you +could tell is worth from five to ten thousand pound?' asked +Riderhood. + +'I know it very well, and when I claim the money you shall share it.' + +The honest man paused, and drew a little nearer to the visitor, and +a little further from the door. + +'I know it,' repeated the man, quietly, 'as well as I know that you +and George Radfoot were one together in more than one dark +business; and as well as I know that you, Roger Riderhood, +conspired against an innocent man for blood-money; and as well +as I know that I can--and that I swear I will!--give you up on both +scores, and be the proof against you in my own person, if you defy +me!' + +'Father!' cried Pleasant, from the door. 'Don't defy him! Give +way to him! Don't get into more trouble, father!' + +'Will you leave off a Poll Parroting, I ask you?' cried Mr +Riderhood, half beside himself between the two. Then, +propitiatingly and crawlingly: 'You sir! You han't said what you +want of me. Is it fair, is it worthy of yourself, to talk of my +defying you afore ever you say what you want of me?' + +'I don't want much,' said the man. 'This accusation of yours must +not be left half made and half unmade. What was done for the +blood-money must be thoroughly undone.' + +'Well; but Shipmate--' + +'Don't call me Shipmate,' said the man. + +'Captain, then,' urged Mr Riderhood; 'there! You won't object to +Captain. It's a honourable title, and you fully look it. Captain! +Ain't the man dead? Now I ask you fair. Ain't Gaffer dead?' + +'Well,' returned the other, with impatience, 'yes, he is dead. What +then?' + +'Can words hurt a dead man, Captain? I only ask you fair.' + +'They can hurt the memory of a dead man, and they can hurt his +living children. How many children had this man?' + +'Meaning Gaffer, Captain?' + +'Of whom else are we speaking?' returned the other, with a +movement of his foot, as if Rogue Riderhood were beginning to +sneak before him in the body as well as the spirit, and he spurned +him off. 'I have heard of a daughter, and a son. I ask for +information; I ask YOUR daughter; I prefer to speak to her. What +children did Hexam leave?' + +Pleasant, looking to her father for permission to reply, that honest +man exclaimed with great bitterness: + +'Why the devil don't you answer the Captain? You can Poll Parrot +enough when you ain't wanted to Poll Parrot, you perwerse jade!' + +Thus encouraged, Pleasant explained that there were only Lizzie, +the daughter in question, and the youth. Both very respectable, +she added. + +'It is dreadful that any stigma should attach to them,' said the +visitor, whom the consideration rendered so uneasy that he rose, +and paced to and fro, muttering, 'Dreadful! Unforeseen? How +could it be foreseen!' Then he stopped, and asked aloud: 'Where +do they live?' + +Pleasant further explained that only the daughter had resided with +the father at the time of his accidental death, and that she had +immediately afterwards quitted the neighbourhood. + +'I know that,' said the man, 'for I have been to the place they dwelt +in, at the time of the inquest. Could you quietly find out for me +where she lives now?' + +Pleasant had no doubt she could do that. Within what time, did +she think? Within a day. The visitor said that was well, and he +would return for the information, relying on its being obtained. To +this dialogue Riderhood had attended in silence, and he now +obsequiously bespake the Captain. + +'Captain! Mentioning them unfort'net words of mine respecting +Gaffer, it is contrairily to be bore in mind that Gaffer always were +a precious rascal, and that his line were a thieving line. Likeways +when I went to them two Governors, Lawyer Lightwood and the +t'other Governor, with my information, I may have been a little +over-eager for the cause of justice, or (to put it another way) a +little over-stimilated by them feelings which rouses a man up, +when a pot of money is going about, to get his hand into that pot +of money for his family's sake. Besides which, I think the wine of +them two Governors was--I will not say a hocussed wine, but fur +from a wine as was elthy for the mind. And there's another thing +to be remembered, Captain. Did I stick to them words when +Gaffer was no more, and did I say bold to them two Governors, +"Governors both, wot I informed I still inform; wot was took down +I hold to"? No. I says, frank and open--no shuffling, mind you, +Captain!--"I may have been mistook, I've been a thinking of it, it +mayn't have been took down correct on this and that, and I won't +swear to thick and thin, I'd rayther forfeit your good opinions than +do it." And so far as I know,' concluded Mr Riderhood, by way of +proof and evidence to character, 'I HAVE actiwally forfeited the +good opinions of several persons--even your own, Captain, if I +understand your words--but I'd sooner do it than be forswore. +There; if that's conspiracy, call me conspirator.' + +'You shall sign,' said the visitor, taking very little heed of this +oration, 'a statement that it was all utterly false, and the poor girl +shall have it. I will bring it with me for your signature, when I +come again.' + +'When might you be expected, Captain?' inquired Riderhood, +again dubiously getting between him and door. + +'Quite soon enough for you. I shall not disappoint you; don't be +afraid.' + +'Might you be inclined to leave any name, Captain?' + +'No, not at all. I have no such intention.' + +'"Shall" is summ'at of a hard word, Captain,' urged Riderhood, still +feebly dodging between him and the door, as he advanced. 'When +you say a man "shall" sign this and that and t'other, Captain, you +order him about in a grand sort of a way. Don't it seem so to +yourself?' + +The man stood still, and angrily fixed him with his eyes. + +'Father, father!' entreated Pleasant, from the door, with her +disengaged hand nervously trembling at her lips; 'don't! Don't get +into trouble any more!' + +'Hear me out, Captain, hear me out! All I was wishing to mention, +Captain, afore you took your departer,' said the sneaking Mr +Riderhood, falling out of his path, 'was, your handsome words +relating to the reward.' + +'When I claim it,' said the man, in a tone which seemed to leave +some such words as 'you dog,' very distinctly understood, 'you +shall share it.' + +Looking stedfastly at Riderhood, he once more said in a low +voice, this time with a grim sort of admiration of him as a perfect +piece of evil, 'What a liar you are!' and, nodding his head twice or +thrice over the compliment, passed out of the shop. But, to +Pleasant he said good-night kindly. + +The honest man who gained his living by the sweat of his brow +remained in a state akin to stupefaction, until the footless glass +and the unfinished bottle conveyed themselves into his mind. +From his mind he conveyed them into his hands, and so conveyed +the last of the wine into his stomach. When that was done, he +awoke to a clear perception that Poll Parroting was solely +chargeable with what had passed. Therefore, not to be remiss in +his duty as a father, he threw a pair of sea-boots at Pleasant, +which she ducked to avoid, and then cried, poor thing, using her +hair for a pocket-handkerchief. + + + +Chapter 13 + +A SOLO AND A DUETT + + +The wind was blowing so hard when the visitor came out at the +shop-door into the darkness and dirt of Limehouse Hole, that it +almost blew him in again. Doors were slamming violently, lamps +were flickering or blown out, signs were rocking in their frames, +the water of the kennels, wind-dispersed, flew about in drops like +rain. Indifferent to the weather, and even preferring it to better +weather for its clearance of the streets, the man looked about him +with a scrutinizing glance. 'Thus much I know,' he murmured. 'I +have never been here since that night, and never was here before +that night, but thus much I recognize. I wonder which way did we +take when we came out of that shop. We turned to the right as I +have turned, but I can recall no more. Did we go by this alley? +Or down that little lane?' + +He tried both, but both confused him equally, and he came +straying back to the same spot. 'I remember there were poles +pushed out of upper windows on which clothes were drying, and I +remember a low public-house, and the sound flowing down a +narrow passage belonging to it of the scraping of a fiddle and the +shuffling of feet. But here are all these things in the lane, and here +are all these things in the alley. And I have nothing else in my +mind but a wall, a dark doorway, a flight of stairs, and a room.' + +He tried a new direction, but made nothing of it; walls, dark +doorways, flights of stairs and rooms, were too abundant. And, +like most people so puzzled, he again and again described a circle, +and found himself at the point from which he had begun. 'This is +like what I have read in narratives of escape from prison,' said he, +'where the little track of the fugitives in the night always seems to +take the shape of the great round world, on which they wander; as +if it were a secret law.' + +Here he ceased to be the oakum-headed, oakum-whiskered man +on whom Miss Pleasant Riderhood had looked, and, allowing for +his being still wrapped in a nautical overcoat, became as like that +same lost wanted Mr Julius Handford, as never man was like +another in this world. In the breast of the coat he stowed the +bristling hair and whisker, in a moment, as the favouring wind +went with him down a solitary place that it had swept clear of +passengers. Yet in that same moment he was the Secretary also, +Mr Boffin's Secretary. For John Rokesmith, too, was as like that +same lost wanted Mr Julius Handford as never man was like +another in this world. + +'I have no clue to the scene of my death,' said he. 'Not that it +matters now. But having risked discovery by venturing here at all, +I should have been glad to track some part of the way.' With +which singular words he abandoned his search, came up out of +Limehouse Hole, and took the way past Limehouse Church. At +the great iron gate of the churchyard he stopped and looked in. +He looked up at the high tower spectrally resisting the wind, and +he looked round at the white tombstones, like enough to the dead +in their winding-sheets, and he counted the nine tolls of the clock- +bell. + +'It is a sensation not experienced by many mortals,' said he, 'to be +looking into a churchyard on a wild windy night, and to feel that I +no more hold a place among the living than these dead do, and +even to know that I lie buried somewhere else, as they lie buried +here. Nothing uses me to it. A spirit that was once a man could +hardly feel stranger or lonelier, going unrecognized among +mankind, than I feel. + +'But this is the fanciful side of the situation. It has a real side, so +difficult that, though I think of it every day, I never thoroughly +think it out. Now, let me determine to think it out as I walk home. +I know I evade it, as many men--perhaps most men--do evade +thinking their way through their greatest perplexity. I will try to +pin myself to mine. Don't evade it, John Harmon; don't evade it; +think it out! + + +'When I came to England, attracted to the country with which I +had none but most miserable associations, by the accounts of my +fine inheritance that found me abroad, I came back, shrinking +from my father's money, shrinking from my father's memory, +mistrustful of being forced on a mercenary wife, mistrustful of my +father's intention in thrusting that marriage on me, mistrustful that +I was already growing avaricious, mistrustful that I was slackening +in gratitude to the two dear noble honest friends who had made +the only sunlight in my childish life or that of my heartbroken +sister. I came back, timid, divided in my mind, afraid of myself +and everybody here, knowing of nothing but wretchedness that +my father's wealth had ever brought about. Now, stop, and so far +think it out, John Harmon. Is that so? That is exactly so. + +'On board serving as third mate was George Radfoot. I knew +nothing of him. His name first became known to me about a week +before we sailed, through my being accosted by one of the ship- +agent's clerks as "Mr Radfoot." It was one day when I had gone +aboard to look to my preparations, and the clerk, coming behind +me as I stood on deck, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, "Mr +Rad-foot, look here," referring to some papers that he had in his +hand. And my name first became known to Radfoot, through +another clerk within a day or two, and while the ship was yet in +port, coming up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder and +beginning, "I beg your pardon, Mr Harmon--." I believe we were +alike in bulk and stature but not otherwise, and that we were not +strikingly alike, even in those respects, when we were together +and could be compared. + +'However, a sociable word or two on these mistakes became an +easy introduction between us, and the weather was hot, and he +helped me to a cool cabin on deck alongside his own, and his first +school had been at Brussels as mine had been, and he had learnt +French as I had learnt it, and he had a little history of himself to +relate--God only knows how much of it true, and how much of it +false--that had its likeness to mine. I had been a seaman too. So +we got to be confidential together, and the more easily yet, +because he and every one on board had known by general rumour +what I was making the voyage to England for. By such degrees +and means, he came to the knowledge of my uneasiness of mind, +and of its setting at that time in the direction of desiring to see and +form some judgment of my allotted wife, before she could +possibly know me for myself; also to try Mrs Boffin and give her a +glad surprise. So the plot was made out of our getting common +sailors' dresses (as he was able to guide me about London), and +throwing ourselves in Bella Wilfer's neighbourhood, and trying to +put ourselves in her way, and doing whatever chance might favour +on the spot, and seeing what came of it. If nothing came of it, I +should be no worse off, and there would merely be a short delay +in my presenting myself to Lightwood. I have all these facts right? +Yes. They are all accurately right. + +'His advantage in all this was, that for a time I was to be lost. It +might be for a day or for two days, but I must be lost sight of on +landing, or there would be recognition, anticipation, and failure. +Therefore, I disembarked with my valise in my hand--as Potterson +the steward and Mr Jacob Kibble my fellow-passenger afterwards +remembered--and waited for him in the dark by that very +Limehouse Church which is now behind me. + +'As I had always shunned the port of London, I only knew the +church through his pointing out its spire from on board. Perhaps I +might recall, if it were any good to try, the way by which I went to +it alone from the river; but how we two went from it to +Riderhood's shop, I don't know--any more than I know what turns +we took and doubles we made, after we left it. The way was +purposely confused, no doubt. + +'But let me go on thinking the facts out, and avoid confusing them +with my speculations. Whether he took me by a straight way or a +crooked way, what is that to the purpose now? Steady, John +Harmon. + +'When we stopped at Riderhood's, and he asked that scoundrel a +question or two, purporting to refer only to the lodging-houses in +which there was accommodation for us, had I the least suspicion +of him? None. Certainly none until afterwards when I held the +clue. I think he must have got from Riderhood in a paper, the +drug, or whatever it was, that afterwards stupefied me, but I am +far from sure. All I felt safe in charging on him to-night, was old +companionship in villainy between them. Their undisguised +intimacy, and the character I now know Riderhood to bear, made +that not at all adventurous. But I am not clear about the drug. +Thinking out the circumstances on which I found my suspicion, +they are only two. One: I remember his changing a small folded +paper from one pocket to another, after we came out, which he +had not touched before. Two: I now know Riderhood to have +been previously taken up for being concerned in the robbery of an +unlucky seaman, to whom some such poison had been given. + +'It is my conviction that we cannot have gone a mile from that +shop, before we came to the wall, the dark doorway, the flight of +stairs, and the room. The night was particularly dark and it rained +hard. As I think the circumstances back, I hear the rain splashing +on the stone pavement of the passage, which was not under cover. +The room overlooked the river, or a dock, or a creek, and the tide +was out. Being possessed of the time down to that point, I know +by the hour that it must have been about low water; but while the +coffee was getting ready, I drew back the curtain (a dark-brown +curtain), and, looking out, knew by the kind of reflection below, +of the few neighbouring lights, that they were reflected in tidal +mud. + +'He had carried under his arm a canvas bag, containing a suit of +his clothes. I had no change of outer clothes with me, as I was to +buy slops. "You are very wet, Mr Harmon,"--I can hear him +saying--"and I am quite dry under this good waterproof coat. Put +on these clothes of mine. You may find on trying them that they +will answer your purpose to-morrow, as well as the slops you +mean to buy, or better. While you change, I'll hurry the hot +coffee." When he came back, I had his clothes on, and there was +a black man with him, wearing a linen jacket, like a steward, who +put the smoking coffee on the table in a tray and never looked at +me. I am so far literal and exact? Literal and exact, I am certain. + +'Now, I pass to sick and deranged impressions; they are so strong, +that I rely upon them; but there are spaces between them that I +know nothing about, and they are not pervaded by any idea of +time. + +'I had drank some coffee, when to my sense of sight he began to +swell immensely, and something urged me to rush at him. We had +a struggle near the door. He got from me, through my not +knowing where to strike, in the whirling round of the room, and +the flashing of flames of fire between us. I dropped down. Lying +helpless on the ground, I was turned over by a foot. I was dragged +by the neck into a corner. I heard men speak together. I was +turned over by other feet. I saw a figure like myself lying dressed +in my clothes on a bed. What might have been, for anything I +knew, a silence of days, weeks, months, years, was broken by a +violent wrestling of men all over the room. The figure like myself +was assailed, and my valise was in its hand. I was trodden upon +and fallen over. I heard a noise of blows, and thought it was a +wood-cutter cutting down a tree. I could not have said that my +name was John Harmon--I could not have thought it--I didn't +know it--but when I heard the blows, I thought of the wood-cutter +and his axe, and had some dead idea that I was lying in a forest. + +'This is still correct? Still correct, with the exception that I cannot +possibly express it to myself without using the word I. But it was +not I. There was no such thing as I, within my knowledge. + +'It was only after a downward slide through something like a tube, +and then a great noise and a sparkling and crackling as of fires, +that the consciousness came upon me, "This is John Harmon +drowning! John Harmon, struggle for your life. John Harmon, +call on Heaven and save yourself!" I think I cried it out aloud in a +great agony, and then a heavy horrid unintelligible something +vanished, and it was I who was struggling there alone in the water. + +'I was very weak and faint, frightfully oppressed with drowsiness, +and driving fast with the tide. Looking over the black water, I saw +the lights racing past me on the two banks of the river, as if they +were eager to be gone and leave me dying in the dark. The tide +was running down, but I knew nothing of up or down then. When, +guiding myself safely with Heaven's assistance before the fierce +set of the water, I at last caught at a boat moored, one of a tier of +boats at a causeway, I was sucked under her, and came up, only +just alive, on the other side. + +'Was I long in the water? Long enough to be chilled to the heart, +but I don't know how long. Yet the cold was merciful, for it was +the cold night air and the rain that restored me from a swoon on +the stones of the causeway. They naturally supposed me to have +toppled in, drunk, when I crept to the public-house it belonged to; +for I had no notion where I was, and could not articulate--through +the poison that had made me insensible having affected my +speech--and I supposed the night to be the previous night, as it +was still dark and raining. But I had lost twenty-four hours. + +'I have checked the calculation often, and it must have been two +nights that I lay recovering in that public-house. Let me see. Yes. +I am sure it was while I lay in that bed there, that the thought +entered my head of turning the danger I had passed through, to the +account of being for some time supposed to have disappeared +mysteriously, and of proving Bella. The dread of our being forced +on one another, and perpetuating the fate that seemed to have +fallen on my father's riches--the fate that they should lead to +nothing but evil--was strong upon the moral timidity that dates +from my childhood with my poor sister. + +'As to this hour I cannot understand that side of the river where I +recovered the shore, being the opposite side to that on which I +was ensnared, I shall never understand it now. Even at this +moment, while I leave the river behind me, going home, I cannot +conceive that it rolls between me and that spot, or that the sea is +where it is. But this is not thinking it out; this is making a leap to +the present time. + +'I could not have done it, but for the fortune in the waterproof belt +round my body. Not a great fortune, forty and odd pounds for the +inheritor of a hundred and odd thousand! But it was enough. +Without it I must have disclosed myself. Without it, I could never +have gone to that Exchequer Coffee House, or taken Mrs Wilfer's +lodgings. + +'Some twelve days I lived at that hotel, before the night when I +saw the corpse of Radfoot at the Police Station. The inexpressible +mental horror that I laboured under, as one of the consequences of +the poison, makes the interval seem greatly longer, but I know it +cannot have been longer. That suffering has gradually weakened +and weakened since, and has only come upon me by starts, and I +hope I am free from it now; but even now, I have sometimes to +think, constrain myself, and stop before speaking, or I could not +say the words I want to say. + +'Again I ramble away from thinking it out to the end. It is not so +far to the end that I need be tempted to break off. Now, on +straight! + +'I examined the newspapers every day for tidings that I was +missing, but saw none. Going out that night to walk (for I kept +retired while it was light), I found a crowd assembled round a +placard posted at Whitehall. It described myself, John Harmon, as +found dead and mutilated in the river under circumstances of +strong suspicion, described my dress, described the papers in my +pockets, and stated where I was lying for recognition. In a wild +incautious way I hurried there, and there--with the horror of the +death I had escaped, before my eyes in its most appalling shape, +added to the inconceivable horror tormenting me at that time +when the poisonous stuff was strongest on me--I perceived that +Radfoot had been murdered by some unknown hands for the +money for which he would have murdered me, and that probably +we had both been shot into the river from the same dark place into +the same dark tide, when the stream ran deep and strong. + +'That night I almost gave up my mystery, though I suspected no +one, could offer no information, knew absolutely nothing save that +the murdered man was not I, but Radfoot. Next day while I +hesitated, and next day while I hesitated, it seemed as if the whole +country were determined to have me dead. The Inquest declared +me dead, the Government proclaimed me dead; I could not listen +at my fireside for five minutes to the outer noises, but it was borne +into my ears that I was dead. + +'So John Harmon died, and Julius Handford disappeared, and John +Rokesmith was born. John Rokesmith's intent to-night has been to +repair a wrong that he could never have imagined possible, +coming to his ears through the Lightwood talk related to him, and +which he is bound by every consideration to remedy. In that +intent John Rokesmith will persevere, as his duty is. + +'Now, is it all thought out? All to this time? Nothing omitted? +No, nothing. But beyond this time? To think it out through the +future, is a harder though a much shorter task than to think it out +through the past. John Harmon is dead. Should John Harmon +come to life? + +'If yes, why? If no, why?' + +'Take yes, first. To enlighten human Justice concerning the +offence of one far beyond it who may have a living mother. To +enlighten it with the lights of a stone passage, a flight of stairs, a +brown window-curtain, and a black man. To come into possession +of my father's money, and with it sordidly to buy a beautiful +creature whom I love--I cannot help it; reason has nothing to do +with it; I love her against reason--but who would as soon love me +for my own sake, as she would love the beggar at the corner. +What a use for the money, and how worthy of its old misuses! + +'Now, take no. The reasons why John Harmon should not come to +life. Because he has passively allowed these dear old faithful +friends to pass into possession of the property. Because he sees +them happy with it, making a good use of it, effacing the old rust +and tarnish on the money. Because they have virtually adopted +Bella, and will provide for her. Because there is affection enough +in her nature, and warmth enough in her heart, to develop into +something enduringly good, under favourable conditions. Because +her faults have been intensified by her place in my father's will, +and she is already growing better. Because her marriage with +John Harmon, after what I have heard from her own lips, would +be a shocking mockery, of which both she and I must always be +conscious, and which would degrade her in her mind, and me in +mine, and each of us in the other's. Because if John Harmon +comes to life and does not marry her, the property falls into the +very hands that hold it now. + +'What would I have? Dead, I have found the true friends of my +lifetime still as true as tender and as faithful as when I was alive, +and making my memory an incentive to good actions done in my +name. Dead, I have found them when they might have slighted +my name, and passed greedily over my grave to ease and wealth, +lingering by the way, like single-hearted children, to recall their +love for me when I was a poor frightened child. Dead, I have +heard from the woman who would have been my wife if I had +lived, the revolting truth that I should have purchased her, caring +nothing for me, as a Sultan buys a slave. + +'What would I have? If the dead could know, or do know, how +the living use them, who among the hosts of dead has found a +more disinterested fidelity on earth than I? Is not that enough for +me? If I had come back, these noble creatures would have +welcomed me, wept over me, given up everything to me with joy. +I did not come back, and they have passed unspoiled into my +place. Let them rest in it, and let Bella rest in hers. + +'What course for me then? This. To live the same quiet Secretary +life, carefully avoiding chances of recognition, until they shall +have become more accustomed to their altered state, and until the +great swarm of swindlers under many names shall have found +newer prey. By that time, the method I am establishing through +all the affairs, and with which I will every day take new pains to +make them both familiar, will be, I may hope, a machine in such +working order as that they can keep it going. I know I need but +ask of their generosity, to have. When the right time comes, I will +ask no more than will replace me in my former path of life, and +John Rokesmith shall tread it as contentedly as he may. But John +Harmon shall come back no more. + +'That I may never, in the days to come afar off, have any weak +misgiving that Bella might, in any contingency, have taken me for +my own sake if I had plainly asked her, I WILL plainly ask her: +proving beyond all question what I already know too well. And +now it is all thought out, from the beginning to the end, and my +mind is easier.' + + +So deeply engaged had the living-dead man been, in thus +communing with himself, that he had regarded neither the wind +nor the way, and had resisted the former instinctively as he had +pursued the latter. But being now come into the City, where there +was a coach-stand, he stood irresolute whether to go to his +lodgings, or to go first to Mr Boffin's house. He decided to go +round by the house, arguing, as he carried his overcoat upon his +arm, that it was less likely to attract notice if left there, than if +taken to Holloway: both Mrs Wilfer and Miss Lavinia being +ravenously curious touching every article of which the lodger +stood possessed. + +Arriving at the house, he found that Mr and Mrs Boffin were out, +but that Miss Wilfer was in the drawing-room. Miss Wilfer had +remained at home, in consequence of not feeling very well, and +had inquired in the evening if Mr Rokesmith were in his room. + +'Make my compliments to Miss Wilfer, and say I am here now.' + +Miss Wilfer's compliments came down in return, and, if it were +not too much trouble, would Mr Rokesmith be so kind as to come +up before he went? + +It was not too much trouble, and Mr Rokesmith came up. + +Oh she looked very pretty, she looked very, very pretty! If the +father of the late John Harmon had but left his money +unconditionally to his son, and if his son had but lighted on this +loveable girl for himself, and had the happiness to make her loving +as well as loveable! + +'Dear me! Are you not well, Mr Rokesmith?' + +'Yes, quite well. I was sorry to hear, when I came in, that YOU +were not.' + +'A mere nothing. I had a headache--gone now--and was not quite +fit for a hot theatre, so I stayed at home. I asked you if you were +not well, because you look so white.' + +'Do I? I have had a busy evening.' + +She was on a low ottoman before the fire, with a little shining +jewel of a table, and her book and her work, beside her. Ah! what +a different life the late John Harmon's, if it had been his happy +privilege to take his place upon that ottoman, and draw his arm +about that waist, and say, 'I hope the time has been long without +me? What a Home Goddess you look, my darling!' + +But, the present John Rokesmith, far removed from the late John +Harmon, remained standing at a distance. A little distance in +respect of space, but a great distance in respect of separation. + +'Mr Rokesmith,' said Bella, taking up her work, and inspecting it +all round the corners, 'I wanted to say something to you when I +could have the opportunity, as an explanation why I was rude to +you the other day. You have no right to think ill of me, sir.' + +The sharp little way in which she darted a look at him, half +sensitively injured, and half pettishly, would have been very much +admired by the late John Harmon. + +'You don't know how well I think of you, Miss Wilfer.' + +'Truly, you must have a very high opinion of me, Mr Rokesmith, +when you believe that in prosperity I neglect and forget my old +home.' + +'Do I believe so?' + +'You DID, sir, at any rate,' returned Bella. + +'I took the liberty of reminding you of a little omission into which +you had fallen--insensibly and naturally fallen. It was no more +than that.' + +'And I beg leave to ask you, Mr Rokesmith,' said Bella, 'why you +took that liberty?--I hope there is no offence in the phrase; it is +your own, remember.' + +'Because I am truly, deeply, profoundly interested in you, Miss +Wilfer. Because I wish to see you always at your best. Because +I--shall I go on?' + +'No, sir,' returned Bella, with a burning face, 'you have said more +than enough. I beg that you will NOT go on. If you have any +generosity, any honour, you will say no more.' + +The late John Harmon, looking at the proud face with the down- +cast eyes, and at the quick breathing as it stirred the fall of bright +brown hair over the beautiful neck, would probably have +remained silent. + +'I wish to speak to you, sir,' said Bella, 'once for all, and I don't +know how to do it. I have sat here all this evening, wishing to +speak to you, and determining to speak to you, and feeling that I +must. I beg for a moment's time.' + +He remained silent, and she remained with her face averted, +sometimes making a slight movement as if she would turn and +speak. At length she did so. + +'You know how I am situated here, sir, and you know how I am +situated at home. I must speak to you for myself, since there is no +one about me whom I could ask to do so. It is not generous in +you, it is not honourable in you, to conduct yourself towards me +as you do.' + +'Is it ungenerous or dishonourable to be devoted to you; fascinated +by you?' + +'Preposterous!' said Bella. + +The late John Harmon might have thought it rather a +contemptuous and lofty word of repudiation. + +'I now feel obliged to go on,' pursued the Secretary, 'though it +were only in self-explanation and self-defence. I hope, Miss +Wilfer, that it is not unpardonable--even in me--to make an honest +declaration of an honest devotion to you.' + +'An honest declaration!' repeated Bella, with emphasis. + +'Is it otherwise?' + +'I must request, sir,' said Bella, taking refuge in a touch of timely +resentment, 'that I may not be questioned. You must excuse me if +I decline to be cross-examined.' + +'Oh, Miss Wilfer, this is hardly charitable. I ask you nothing but +what your own emphasis suggests. However, I waive even that +question. But what I have declared, I take my stand by. I cannot +recall the avowal of my earnest and deep attachment to you, and I +do not recall it.' + +'I reject it, sir,' said Bella. + +'I should be blind and deaf if I were not prepared for the reply. +Forgive my offence, for it carries its punishment with it.' + +'What punishment?' asked Bella. + +'Is my present endurance none? But excuse me; I did not mean to +cross-examine you again.' + +'You take advantage of a hasty word of mine,' said Bella with a +little sting of self-reproach, 'to make me seem--I don't know what. +I spoke without consideration when I used it. If that was bad, I +am sorry; but you repeat it after consideration, and that seems to +me to be at least no better. For the rest, I beg it may be +understood, Mr Rokesmith, that there is an end of this between us, +now and for ever.' + +'Now and for ever,' he repeated. + +'Yes. I appeal to you, sir,' proceeded Bella with increasing spirit, +'not to pursue me. I appeal to you not to take advantage of your +position in this house to make my position in it distressing and +disagreeable. I appeal to you to discontinue your habit of making +your misplaced attentions as plain to Mrs Boffin as to me.' + +'Have I done so?' + +'I should think you have,' replied Bella. 'In any case it is not your +fault if you have not, Mr Rokesmith.' + +'I hope you are wrong in that impression. I should be very sorry to +have justified it. I think I have not. For the future there is no +apprehension. It is all over.' + +'I am much relieved to hear it,' said Bella. 'I have far other views +in life, and why should you waste your own?' + +'Mine!' said the Secretary. 'My life!' + +His curious tone caused Bella to glance at the curious smile with +which he said it. It was gone as he glanced back. 'Pardon me, +Miss Wilfer,' he proceeded, when their eyes met; 'you have used +some hard words, for which I do not doubt you have a justification +in your mind, that I do not understand. Ungenerous and +dishonourable. In what?' + +'I would rather not be asked,' said Bella, haughtily looking down. + +'I would rather not ask, but the question is imposed upon me. +Kindly explain; or if not kindly, justly.' + +'Oh, sir!' said Bella, raising her eyes to his, after a little struggle to +forbear, 'is it generous and honourable to use the power here +which your favour with Mr and Mrs Boffin and your ability in +your place give you, against me?' + +'Against you?' + +'Is it generous and honourable to form a plan for gradually +bringing their influence to bear upon a suit which I have shown +you that I do not like, and which I tell you that I utterly reject?' + +The late John Harmon could have borne a good deal, but he would +have been cut to the heart by such a suspicion as this. + +'Would it be generous and honourable to step into your place--if +you did so, for I don't know that you did, and I hope you did not-- +anticipating, or knowing beforehand, that I should come here, and +designing to take me at this disadvantage?' + +'This mean and cruel disadvantage,' said the Secretary. + +'Yes,' assented Bella. + +The Secretary kept silence for a little while; then merely said, +'You are wholly mistaken, Miss Wilfer; wonderfully mistaken. I +cannot say, however, that it is your fault. If I deserve better +things of you, you do not know it.' + +'At least, sir,' retorted Bella, with her old indignation rising, 'you +know the history of my being here at all. I have heard Mr Boffin +say that you are master of every line and word of that will, as you +are master of all his affairs. And was it not enough that I should +have been willed away, like a horse, or a dog, or a bird; but must +you too begin to dispose of me in your mind, and speculate in me, +as soon as I had ceased to be the talk and the laugh of the town? +Am I for ever to be made the property of strangers?' + +'Believe me,' returned the Secretary, 'you are wonderfully +mistaken.' + +'I should be glad to know it,' answered Bella. + +'I doubt if you ever will. Good-night. Of course I shall be careful +to conceal any traces of this interview from Mr and Mrs Boffin, as +long as I remain here. Trust me, what you have complained of is +at an end for ever.' + +'I am glad I have spoken, then, Mr Rokesmith. It has been painful +and difficult, but it is done. If I have hurt you, I hope you will +forgive me. I am inexperienced and impetuous, and I have been a +little spoilt; but I really am not so bad as I dare say I appear, or as +you think me.' + +He quitted the room when Bella had said this, relenting in her +wilful inconsistent way. Left alone, she threw herself back on her +ottoman, and said, 'I didn't know the lovely woman was such a +Dragon!' Then, she got up and looked in the glass, and said to her +image, 'You have been positively swelling your features, you little +fool!' Then, she took an impatient walk to the other end of the +room and back, and said, 'I wish Pa was here to have a talk about +an avaricious marriage; but he is better away, poor dear, for I +know I should pull his hair if he WAS here.' And then she threw +her work away, and threw her book after it, and sat down and +hummed a tune, and hummed it out of tune, and quarrelled with it. + +And John Rokesmith, what did he? + +He went down to his room, and buried John Harmon many +additional fathoms deep. He took his hat, and walked out, and, as +he went to Holloway or anywhere else--not at all minding where-- +heaped mounds upon mounds of earth over John Harmon's grave. +His walking did not bring him home until the dawn of day. And so +busy had he been all night, piling and piling weights upon weights +of earth above John Harmon's grave, that by that time John +Harmon lay buried under a whole Alpine range; and still the +Sexton Rokesmith accumulated mountains over him, lightening his +labour with the dirge, 'Cover him, crush him, keep him down!' + + + +Chapter 14 + +STRONG OF PURPOSE + + +The sexton-task of piling earth above John Harmon all night long, +was not conducive to sound sleep; but Rokesmith had some +broken morning rest, and rose strengthened in his purpose. It was +all over now. No ghost should trouble Mr and Mrs Boffin's peace; +invisible and voiceless, the ghost should look on for a little while +longer at the state of existence out of which it had departed, and +then should for ever cease to haunt the scenes in which it had no +place. + +He went over it all again. He had lapsed into the condition in +which he found himself, as many a man lapses into many a +condition, without perceiving the accumulative power of its +separate circumstances. When in the distrust engendered by his +wretched childhood and the action for evil--never yet for good +within his knowledge then--of his father and his father's wealth on +all within their influence, he conceived the idea of his first +deception, it was meant to be harmless, it was to last but a few +hours or days, it was to involve in it only the girl so capriciously +forced upon him and upon whom he was so capriciously forced, +and it was honestly meant well towards her. For, if he had found +her unhappy in the prospect of that marriage (through her heart +inclining to another man or for any other cause), he would +seriously have said: 'This is another of the old perverted uses of +the misery-making money. I will let it go to my and my sister's +only protectors and friends.' When the snare into which he fell so +outstripped his first intention as that he found himself placarded +by the police authorities upon the London walls for dead, he +confusedly accepted the aid that fell upon him, without +considering how firmly it must seem to fix the Boffins in their +accession to the fortune. When he saw them, and knew them, and +even from his vantage-ground of inspection could find no flaw in +them, he asked himself, 'And shall I come to life to dispossess +such people as these?' There was no good to set against the +putting of them to that hard proof. He had heard from Bella's own +lips when he stood tapping at the door on that night of his taking +the lodgings, that the marriage would have been on her part +thoroughly mercenary. He had since tried her, in his own +unknown person and supposed station, and she not only rejected +his advances but resented them. Was it for him to have the shame +of buying her, or the meanness of punishing her? Yet, by coming +to life and accepting the condition of the inheritance, he must do +the former; and by coming to life and rejecting it, he must do the +latter. + +Another consequence that he had never foreshadowed, was the +implication of an innocent man in his supposed murder. He would +obtain complete retraction from the accuser, and set the wrong +right; but clearly the wrong could never have been done if he had +never planned a deception. Then, whatever inconvenience or +distress of mind the deception cost him, it was manful repentantly +to accept as among its consequences, and make no complaint. + +Thus John Rokesmith in the morning, and it buried John Harmon +still many fathoms deeper than he had been buried in the night. + +Going out earlier than he was accustomed to do, he encountered +the cherub at the door. The cherub's way was for a certain space +his way, and they walked together. + +It was impossible not to notice the change in the cherub's +appearance. The cherub felt very conscious of it, and modestly +remarked: + +'A present from my daughter Bella, Mr Rokesmith.' + +The words gave the Secretary a stroke of pleasure, for he +remembered the fifty pounds, and he still loved the girl. No doubt +it was very weak--it always IS very weak, some authorities hold-- +but he loved the girl. + +'I don't know whether you happen to have read many books of +African Travel, Mr Rokesmith?' said R. W. + +'I have read several.' + +'Well, you know, there's usually a King George, or a King Boy, or +a King Sambo, or a King Bill, or Bull, or Rum, or Junk, or +whatever name the sailors may have happened to give him.' + +'Where?' asked Rokesmith. + +'Anywhere. Anywhere in Africa, I mean. Pretty well everywhere, +I may say; for black kings are cheap--and I think'--said R. W., +with an apologetic air, 'nasty'. + +'I am much of your opinion, Mr Wilfer. You were going to say--?' + +'I was going to say, the king is generally dressed in a London hat +only, or a Manchester pair of braces, or one epaulette, or an +uniform coat with his legs in the sleeves, or something of that +kind.' + +'Just so,' said the Secretary. + +'In confidence, I assure you, Mr Rokesmith,' observed the cheerful +cherub, 'that when more of my family were at home and to be +provided for, I used to remind myself immensely of that king. +You have no idea, as a single man, of the difficulty I have had in +wearing more than one good article at a time.' + +'I can easily believe it, Mr Wilfer.' + +'I only mention it,' said R. W. in the warmth of his heart, 'as a +proof of the amiable, delicate, and considerate affection of my +daughter Bella. If she had been a little spoilt, I couldn't have +thought so very much of it, under the circumstances. But no, not +a bit. And she is so very pretty! I hope you agree with me in +finding her very pretty, Mr Rokesmith?' + +'Certainly I do. Every one must.' + +'I hope so,' said the cherub. 'Indeed, I have no doubt of it. This is +a great advancement for her in life, Mr Rokesmith. A great +opening of her prospects?' + +'Miss Wilfer could have no better friends than Mr and Mrs Boffin.' + +'Impossible!' said the gratified cherub. 'Really I begin to think +things are very well as they are. If Mr John Harmon had lived--' + +'He is better dead,' said the Secretary. + +'No, I won't go so far as to say that,' urged the cherub, a little +remonstrant against the very decisive and unpitying tone; 'but he +mightn't have suited Bella, or Bella mightn't have suited him, or +fifty things, whereas now I hope she can choose for herself.' + +'Has she--as you place the confidence in me of speaking on the +subject, you will excuse my asking--has she--perhaps--chosen?' +faltered the Secretary. + +'Oh dear no!' returned R. W. + +'Young ladies sometimes,' Rokesmith hinted, 'choose without +mentioning their choice to their fathers.' + +'Not in this case, Mr Rokesmith. Between my daughter Bella and +me there is a regular league and covenant of confidence. It was +ratified only the other day. The ratification dates from--these,' +said the cherub, giving a little pull at the lappels of his coat and +the pockets of his trousers. 'Oh no, she has not chosen. To be +sure, young George Sampson, in the days when Mr John Harmon--' + +'Who I wish had never been born!' said the Secretary, with a +gloomy brow. + +R. W. looked at him with surprise, as thinking he had contracted +an unaccountable spite against the poor deceased, and continued: +'In the days when Mr John Harmon was being sought out, young +George Sampson certainly was hovering about Bella, and Bella let +him hover. But it never was seriously thought of, and it's still less +than ever to be thought of now. For Bella is ambitious, Mr +Rokesmith, and I think I may predict will marry fortune. This +time, you see, she will have the person and the property before +her together, and will be able to make her choice with her eyes +open. This is my road. I am very sorry to part company so soon. +Good morning, sir!' + +The Secretary pursued his way, not very much elevated in spirits +by this conversation, and, arriving at the Boffin mansion, found +Betty Higden waiting for him. + +'I should thank you kindly, sir,' said Betty, 'if I might make so bold +as have a word or two wi' you.' + +She should have as many words as she liked, he told her; and took +her into his room, and made her sit down. + +''Tis concerning Sloppy, sir,' said Betty. 'And that's how I come +here by myself. Not wishing him to know what I'm a-going to say +to you, I got the start of him early and walked up.' + +'You have wonderful energy,' returned Rokesmith. 'You are as +young as I am.' + +Betty Higden gravely shook her head. 'I am strong for my time of +life, sir, but not young, thank the Lord!' + +'Are you thankful for not being young?' + +'Yes, sir. If I was young, it would all have to be gone through +again, and the end would be a weary way off, don't you see? But +never mind me; 'tis concerning Sloppy.' + +'And what about him, Betty?' + +''Tis just this, sir. It can't be reasoned out of his head by any +powers of mine but what that he can do right by your kind lady +and gentleman and do his work for me, both together. Now he +can't. To give himself up to being put in the way of arning a good +living and getting on, he must give me up. Well; he won't.' + +'I respect him for it,' said Rokesmith. + +'DO ye, sir? I don't know but what I do myself. Still that don't +make it right to let him have his way. So as he won't give me up, +I'm a-going to give him up.' + +'How, Betty?' + +'I'm a-going to run away from him.' + +With an astonished look at the indomitable old face and the bright +eyes, the Secretary repeated, 'Run away from him?' + +'Yes, sir,' said Betty, with one nod. And in the nod and in the firm +set of her mouth, there was a vigour of purpose not to be doubted. + +'Come, come!' said the Secretary. 'We must talk about this. Let +us take our time over it, and try to get at the true sense of the case +and the true course, by degrees.' + +'Now, lookee here, by dear,' returned old Betty--'asking your +excuse for being so familiar, but being of a time of life a'most to +be your grandmother twice over. Now, lookee, here. 'Tis a poor +living and a hard as is to be got out of this work that I'm a doing +now, and but for Sloppy I don't know as I should have held to it +this long. But it did just keep us on, the two together. Now that +I'm alone--with even Johnny gone--I'd far sooner be upon my feet +and tiring of myself out, than a sitting folding and folding by the +fire. And I'll tell you why. There's a deadness steals over me at +times, that the kind of life favours and I don't like. Now, I seem to +have Johnny in my arms--now, his mother--now, his mother's +mother--now, I seem to be a child myself, a lying once again in the +arms of my own mother--then I get numbed, thought and sense, +till I start out of my seat, afeerd that I'm a growing like the poor +old people that they brick up in the Unions, as you may sometimes +see when they let 'em out of the four walls to have a warm in the +sun, crawling quite scared about the streets. I was a nimble girl, +and have always been a active body, as I told your lady, first time +ever I see her good face. I can still walk twenty mile if I am put to +it. I'd far better be a walking than a getting numbed and dreary. +I'm a good fair knitter, and can make many little things to sell. +The loan from your lady and gentleman of twenty shillings to fit +out a basket with, would be a fortune for me. Trudging round the +country and tiring of myself out, I shall keep the deadness off, and +get my own bread by my own labour. And what more can I +want?' + +'And this is your plan,' said the Secretary, 'for running away?' + +'Show me a better! My deary, show me a better! Why, I know +very well,' said old Betty Higden, 'and you know very well, that +your lady and gentleman would set me up like a queen for the rest +of my life, if so be that we could make it right among us to have it +so. But we can't make it right among us to have it so. I've never +took charity yet, nor yet has any one belonging to me. And it +would be forsaking of myself indeed, and forsaking of my children +dead and gone, and forsaking of their children dead and gone, to +set up a contradiction now at last.' + +'It might come to be justifiable and unavoidable at last,' the +Secretary gently hinted, with a slight stress on the word. + +'I hope it never will! It ain't that I mean to give offence by being +anyways proud,' said the old creature simply, 'but that I want to be +of a piece like, and helpful of myself right through to my death.' + +'And to be sure,' added the Secretary, as a comfort for her, 'Sloppy +will be eagerly looking forward to his opportunity of being to you +what you have been to him.' + +'Trust him for that, sir!' said Betty, cheerfully. 'Though he had +need to be something quick about it, for I'm a getting to be an old +one. But I'm a strong one too, and travel and weather never hurt +me yet! Now, be so kind as speak for me to your lady and +gentleman, and tell 'em what I ask of their good friendliness to let +me do, and why I ask it.' + +The Secretary felt that there was no gainsaying what was urged by +this brave old heroine, and he presently repaired to Mrs Boffin +and recommended her to let Betty Higden have her way, at all +events for the time. 'It would be far more satisfactory to your kind +heart, I know,' he said, 'to provide for her, but it may be a duty to +respect this independent spirit.' Mrs Boffin was not proof against +the consideration set before her. She and her husband had worked +too, and had brought their simple faith and honour clean out of +dustheaps. If they owed a duty to Betty Higden, of a surety that +duty must be done. + +'But, Betty,' said Mrs Boffin, when she accompanied John +Rokesmith back to his room, and shone upon her with the light of +her radiant face, 'granted all else, I think I wouldn't run away'. + +''Twould come easier to Sloppy,' said Mrs Higden, shaking her +head. ''Twould come easier to me too. But 'tis as you please.' + +'When would you go?' + +'Now,' was the bright and ready answer. 'To-day, my deary, to- +morrow. Bless ye, I am used to it. I know many parts of the +country well. When nothing else was to be done, I have worked +in many a market-garden afore now, and in many a hop-garden +too.' + +'If I give my consent to your going, Betty--which Mr Rokesmith +thinks I ought to do--' + +Betty thanked him with a grateful curtsey. + +'--We must not lose sight of you. We must not let you pass out of +our knowledge. We must know all about you.' + +'Yes, my deary, but not through letter-writing, because letter- +writing--indeed, writing of most sorts hadn't much come up for +such as me when I was young. But I shall be to and fro. No fear +of my missing a chance of giving myself a sight of your reviving +face. Besides,' said Betty, with logical good faith, 'I shall have a +debt to pay off, by littles, and naturally that would bring me back, +if nothing else would.' + +'MUST it be done?' asked Mrs Boffin, still reluctant, of the +Secretary. + +'I think it must.' + +After more discussion it was agreed that it should be done, and +Mrs Boffin summoned Bella to note down the little purchases that +were necessary to set Betty up in trade. 'Don't ye be timorous for +me, my dear,' said the stanch old heart, observant of Bella's face: +when I take my seat with my work, clean and busy and fresh, in a +country market-place, I shall turn a sixpence as sure as ever a +farmer's wife there.' + +The Secretary took that opportunity of touching on the practical +question of Mr Sloppy's capabilities. He would have made a +wonderful cabinet-maker, said Mrs Higden, 'if there had been the +money to put him to it.' She had seen him handle tools that he had +borrowed to mend the mangle, or to knock a broken piece of +furniture together, in a surprising manner. As to constructing toys +for the Minders, out of nothing, he had done that daily. And once +as many as a dozen people had got together in the lane to see the +neatness with which he fitted the broken pieces of a foreign +monkey's musical instrument. 'That's well,' said the Secretary. 'It +will not be hard to find a trade for him.' + +John Harmon being buried under mountains now, the Secretary +that very same day set himself to finish his affairs and have done +with him. He drew up an ample declaration, to be signed by +Rogue Riderhood (knowing he could get his signature to it, by +making him another and much shorter evening call), and then +considered to whom should he give the document? To Hexam's +son, or daughter? Resolved speedily, to the daughter. But it +would be safer to avoid seeing the daughter, because the son had +seen Julius Handford, and--he could not be too careful--there +might possibly be some comparison of notes between the son and +daughter, which would awaken slumbering suspicion, and lead to +consequences. 'I might even,' he reflected, 'be apprehended as +having been concerned in my own murder!' Therefore, best to +send it to the daughter under cover by the post. Pleasant +Riderhood had undertaken to find out where she lived, and it was +not necessary that it should be attended by a single word of +explanation. So far, straight. + +But, all that he knew of the daughter he derived from Mrs Boffin's +accounts of what she heard from Mr Lightwood, who seemed to +have a reputation for his manner of relating a story, and to have +made this story quite his own. It interested him, and he would like +to have the means of knowing more--as, for instance, that she +received the exonerating paper, and that it satisfied her--by +opening some channel altogether independent of Lightwood: who +likewise had seen Julius Handford, who had publicly advertised +for Julius Handford, and whom of all men he, the Secretary, most +avoided. 'But with whom the common course of things might +bring me in a moment face to face, any day in the week or any +hour in the day.' + +Now, to cast about for some likely means of opening such a +channel. The boy, Hexam, was training for and with a +schoolmaster. The Secretary knew it, because his sister's share in +that disposal of him seemed to be the best part of Lightwood's +account of the family. This young fellow, Sloppy, stood in need of +some instruction. If he, the Secretary, engaged that schoolmaster +to impart it to him, the channel might be opened. The next point +was, did Mrs Boffin know the schoolmaster's name? No, but she +knew where the school was. Quite enough. Promptly the +Secretary wrote to the master of that school, and that very +evening Bradley Headstone answered in person. + +The Secretary stated to the schoolmaster how the object was, to +send to him for certain occasional evening instruction, a youth +whom Mr and Mrs Boffin wished to help to an industrious and +useful place in life. The schoolmaster was willing to undertake the +charge of such a pupil. The Secretary inquired on what terms? +The schoolmaster stated on what terms. Agreed and disposed of. + +'May I ask, sir,' said Bradley Headstone, 'to whose good opinion I +owe a recommendation to you?' + +'You should know that I am not the principal here. I am Mr +Boffin's Secretary. Mr Boffin is a gentleman who inherited a +property of which you may have heard some public mention; the +Harmon property.' + +'Mr Harmon,' said Bradley: who would have been a great deal +more at a loss than he was, if he had known to whom he spoke: +'was murdered and found in the river.' + +'Was murdered and found in the river.' + +'It was not--' + +'No,' interposed the Secretary, smiling, 'it was not he who +recommended you. Mr Boffin heard of you through a certain Mr +Lightwood. I think you know Mr Lightwood, or know of him?' + +'I know as much of him as I wish to know, sir. I have no +acquaintance with Mr Lightwood, and I desire none. I have no +objection to Mr Lightwood, but I have a particular objection to +some of Mr Lightwood's friends--in short, to one of Mr +Lightwood's friends. His great friend.' + +He could hardly get the words out, even then and there, so fierce +did he grow (though keeping himself down with infinite pains of +repression), when the careless and contemptuous bearing of +Eugene Wrayburn rose before his mind. + +The Secretary saw there was a strong feeling here on some sore +point, and he would have made a diversion from it, but for +Bradley's holding to it in his cumbersome way. + +'I have no objection to mention the friend by name,' he said, +doggedly. 'The person I object to, is Mr Eugene Wrayburn.' + +The Secretary remembered him. In his disturbed recollection of +that night when he was striving against the drugged drink, there +was but a dim image of Eugene's person; but he remembered his +name, and his manner of speaking, and how he had gone with +them to view the body, and where he had stood, and what he had +said. + +'Pray, Mr Headstone, what is the name,' he asked, again trying to +make a diversion, 'of young Hexam's sister?' + +'Her name is Lizzie,' said the schoolmaster, with a strong +contraction of his whole face. + +'She is a young woman of a remarkable character; is she not?' + +'She is sufficiently remarkable to be very superior to Mr Eugene +Wrayburn--though an ordinary person might be that,' said the +schoolmaster; 'and I hope you will not think it impertinent in me, +sir, to ask why you put the two names together?' + +'By mere accident,' returned the Secretary. 'Observing that Mr +Wrayburn was a disagreeable subject with you, I tried to get away +from it: though not very successfully, it would appear.' + +'Do you know Mr Wrayburn, sir?' + +'No.' + +'Then perhaps the names cannot be put together on the authority +of any representation of his?' + +'Certainly not.' + +'I took the liberty to ask,' said Bradley, after casting his eyes on +the ground, 'because he is capable of making any representation, +in the swaggering levity of his insolence. I--I hope you will not +misunderstand me, sir. I--I am much interested in this brother and +sister, and the subject awakens very strong feelings within me. +Very, very, strong feelings.' With a shaking hand, Bradley took +out his handkerchief and wiped his brow. + +The Secretary thought, as he glanced at the schoolmaster's face, +that he had opened a channel here indeed, and that it was an +unexpectedly dark and deep and stormy one, and difficult to +sound. All at once, in the midst of his turbulent emotions, Bradley +stopped and seemed to challenge his look. Much as though he +suddenly asked him, 'What do you see in me?' + +'The brother, young Hexam, was your real recommendation here,' +said the Secretary, quietly going back to the point; 'Mr and Mrs +Boffin happening to know, through Mr Lightwood, that he was +your pupil. Anything that I ask respecting the brother and sister, +or either of them, I ask for myself out of my own interest in the +subject, and not in my official character, or on Mr Boffin's behalf. +How I come to be interested, I need not explain. You know the +father's connection with the discovery of Mr Harmon's body.' + +'Sir,' replied Bradley, very restlessly indeed, 'I know all the +circumstances of that case.' + +'Pray tell me, Mr Headstone,' said the Secretary. 'Does the sister +suffer under any stigma because of the impossible accusation-- +groundless would be a better word--that was made against the +father, and substantially withdrawn?' + +'No, sir,' returned Bradley, with a kind of anger. + +'I am very glad to hear it.' + +'The sister,' said Bradley, separating his words over-carefully, and +speaking as if he were repeating them from a book, 'suffers under +no reproach that repels a man of unimpeachable character who +had made for himself every step of his way in life, from placing +her in his own station. I will not say, raising her to his own +station; I say, placing her in it. The sister labours under no +reproach, unless she should unfortunately make it for herself. +When such a man is not deterred from regarding her as his equal, +and when he has convinced himself that there is no blemish on +her, I think the fact must be taken to be pretty expressive.' + +'And there is such a man?' said the Secretary. + +Bradley Headstone knotted his brows, and squared his large lower +jaw, and fixed his eyes on the ground with an air of determination +that seemed unnecessary to the occasion, as he replied: 'And there +is such a man.' + +The Secretary had no reason or excuse for prolonging the +conversation, and it ended here. Within three hours the oakum- +headed apparition once more dived into the Leaving Shop, and +that night Rogue Riderhood's recantation lay in the post office, +addressed under cover to Lizzie Hexam at her right address. + +All these proceedings occupied John Rokesmith so much, that it +was not until the following day that he saw Bella again. It seemed +then to be tacitly understood between them that they were to be +as distantly easy as they could, without attracting the attention of +Mr and Mrs Boffin to any marked change in their manner. The +fitting out of old Betty Higden was favourable to this, as keeping +Bella engaged and interested, and as occupying the general +attention. + +'I think,' said Rokesmith, when they all stood about her, while she +packed her tidy basket--except Bella, who was busily helping on +her knees at the chair on which it stood; 'that at least you might +keep a letter in your pocket, Mrs Higden, which I would write for +you and date from here, merely stating, in the names of Mr and +Mrs Boffin, that they are your friends;--I won't say patrons, +because they wouldn't like it.' + +'No, no, no,' said Mr Boffin; 'no patronizing! Let's keep out of +THAT, whatever we come to.' + +'There's more than enough of that about, without us; ain't there, +Noddy?' said Mrs Boffin. + +'I believe you, old lady!' returned the Golden Dustman. +'Overmuch indeed!' + +'But people sometimes like to be patronized; don't they, sir?' asked +Bella, looking up. + +'I don't. And if THEY do, my dear, they ought to learn better,' +said Mr Boffin. 'Patrons and Patronesses, and Vice-Patrons and +Vice-Patronesses, and Deceased Patrons and Deceased +Patronesses, and Ex-Vice-Patrons and Ex-Vice-Patronesses, what +does it all mean in the books of the Charities that come pouring in +on Rokesmith as he sits among 'em pretty well up to his neck! If +Mr Tom Noakes gives his five shillings ain't he a Patron, and if +Mrs Jack Styles gives her five shillings ain't she a Patroness? +What the deuce is it all about? If it ain't stark staring impudence, +what do you call it?' + +'Don't be warm, Noddy,' Mrs Boffin urged. + +'Warm!' cried Mr Boffin. 'It's enough to make a man smoking hot. +I can't go anywhere without being Patronized. I don't want to be +Patronized. If I buy a ticket for a Flower Show, or a Music Show, +or any sort of Show, and pay pretty heavy for it, why am I to be +Patroned and Patronessed as if the Patrons and Patronesses +treated me? If there's a good thing to be done, can't it be done on +its own merits? If there's a bad thing to be done, can it ever be +Patroned and Patronessed right? Yet when a new Institution's +going to be built, it seems to me that the bricks and mortar ain't +made of half so much consequence as the Patrons and +Patronesses; no, nor yet the objects. I wish somebody would tell +me whether other countries get Patronized to anything like the +extent of this one! And as to the Patrons and Patronesses +themselves, I wonder they're not ashamed of themselves. They +ain't Pills, or Hair-Washes, or Invigorating Nervous Essences, to +be puffed in that way!' + +Having delivered himself of these remarks, Mr Boffin took a trot, +according to his usual custom, and trotted back to the spot from +which he had started. + +'As to the letter, Rokesmith,' said Mr Boffin, 'you're as right as a +trivet. Give her the letter, make her take the letter, put it in her +pocket by violence. She might fall sick. You know you might fall +sick,' said Mr Boffin. 'Don't deny it, Mrs Higden, in your +obstinacy; you know you might.' + +Old Betty laughed, and said that she would take the letter and be +thankful. + +'That's right!' said Mr Boffin. 'Come! That's sensible. And don't +be thankful to us (for we never thought of it), but to Mr +Rokesmith.' + +The letter was written, and read to her, and given to her. + +'Now, how do you feel?' said Mr Boffin. 'Do you like it?' + +'The letter, sir?' said Betty. 'Ay, it's a beautiful letter!' + +'No, no, no; not the letter,' said Mr Boffin; 'the idea. Are you sure +you're strong enough to carry out the idea?' + +'I shall be stronger, and keep the deadness off better, this way, +than any way left open to me, sir.' + +'Don't say than any way left open, you know,' urged Mr Boffin; +'because there are ways without end. A housekeeper would be +acceptable over yonder at the Bower, for instance. Wouldn't you +like to see the Bower, and know a retired literary man of the name +of Wegg that lives there--WITH a wooden leg?' + +Old Betty was proof even against this temptation, and fell to +adjusting her black bonnet and shawl. + +'I wouldn't let you go, now it comes to this, after all,' said Mr +Boffin, 'if I didn't hope that it may make a man and a workman of +Sloppy, in as short a time as ever a man and workman was made +yet. Why, what have you got there, Betty? Not a doll?' + +It was the man in the Guards who had been on duty over Johnny's +bed. The solitary old woman showed what it was, and put it up +quietly in her dress. Then, she gratefully took leave of Mrs +Boffin, and of Mr Boffin, and of Rokesmith, and then put her old +withered arms round Bella's young and blooming neck, and said, +repeating Johnny's words: 'A kiss for the boofer lady.' + +The Secretary looked on from a doorway at the boofer lady thus +encircled, and still looked on at the boofer lady standing alone +there, when the determined old figure with its steady bright eyes +was trudging through the streets, away from paralysis and +pauperism. + + + +Chapter 15 + +THE WHOLE CASE SO FAR + + +Bradley Headstone held fast by that other interview he was to +have with Lizzie Hexam. In stipulating for it, he had been +impelled by a feeling little short of desperation, and the feeling +abided by him. It was very soon after his interview with the +Secretary, that he and Charley Hexam set out one leaden evening, +not unnoticed by Miss Peecher, to have this desperate interview +accomplished. + +'That dolls' dressmaker,' said Bradley, 'is favourable neither to me +nor to you, Hexam.' + +'A pert crooked little chit, Mr Headstone! I knew she would put +herself in the way, if she could, and would be sure to strike in with +something impertinent. It was on that account that I proposed our +going to the City to-night and meeting my sister.' + +'So I supposed,' said Bradley, getting his gloves on his nervous +hands as he walked. 'So I supposed.' + +'Nobody but my sister,' pursued Charley, 'would have found out +such an extraordinary companion. She has done it in a ridiculous +fancy of giving herself up to another. She told me so, that night +when we went there.' + +'Why should she give herself up to the dressmaker?' asked +Bradley. + +'Oh!' said the boy, colouring. 'One of her romantic ideas! I tried +to convince her so, but I didn't succeed. However, what we have +got to do, is, to succeed to-night, Mr Headstone, and then all the +rest follows.' + +'You are still sanguine, Hexam.' + +'Certainly I am, sir. Why, we have everything on our side.' + +'Except your sister, perhaps,' thought Bradley. But he only +gloomily thought it, and said nothing. + +'Everything on our side,' repeated the boy with boyish confidence. +'Respectability, an excellent connexion for me, common sense, +everything!' + +'To be sure, your sister has always shown herself a devoted sister,' +said Bradley, willing to sustain himself on even that low ground of +hope. + +'Naturally, Mr Headstone, I have a good deal of influence with +her. And now that you have honoured me with your confidence +and spoken to me first, I say again, we have everything on our +side.' + +And Bradley thought again, 'Except your sister, perhaps.' + +A grey dusty withered evening in London city has not a hopeful +aspect. The closed warehouses and offices have an air of death +about them, and the national dread of colour has an air of +mourning. The towers and steeples of the many house- +encompassed churches, dark and dingy as the sky that seems +descending on them, are no relief to the general gloom; a sun-dial +on a church-wall has the look, in its useless black shade, of having +failed in its business enterprise and stopped payment for ever; +melancholy waifs and strays of housekeepers and porter sweep +melancholy waifs and strays of papers and pins into the kennels, +and other more melancholy waifs and strays explore them, +searching and stooping and poking for anything to sell. The set of +humanity outward from the City is as a set of prisoners departing +from gaol, and dismal Newgate seems quite as fit a stronghold for +the mighty Lord Mayor as his own state-dwelling. + +On such an evening, when the city grit gets into the hair and eyes +and skin, and when the fallen leaves of the few unhappy city trees +grind down in corners under wheels of wind, the schoolmaster and +the pupil emerged upon the Leadenhall Street region, spying +eastward for Lizzie. Being something too soon in their arrival, +they lurked at a corner, waiting for her to appear. The best- +looking among us will not look very well, lurking at a corner, and +Bradley came out of that disadvantage very poorly indeed. + +'Here she comes, Mr Headstone! Let us go forward and meet her.' + +As they advanced, she saw them coming, and seemed rather +troubled. But she greeted her brother with the usual warmth, and +touched the extended hand of Bradley. + +'Why, where are you going, Charley, dear?' she asked him then. + +'Nowhere. We came on purpose to meet you.' + +'To meet me, Charley?' + +'Yes. We are going to walk with you. But don't let us take the +great leading streets where every one walks, and we can't hear +ourselves speak. Let us go by the quiet backways. Here's a large +paved court by this church, and quiet, too. Let us go up here.' + +'But it's not in the way, Charley.' + +'Yes it is,' said the boy, petulantly. 'It's in my way, and my way is +yours.' + +She had not released his hand, and, still holding it, looked at him +with a kind of appeal. He avoided her eyes, under pretence of +saying, 'Come along, Mr Headstone.' Bradley walked at his side-- +not at hers--and the brother and sister walked hand in hand. The +court brought them to a churchyard; a paved square court, with a +raised bank of earth about breast high, in the middle, enclosed by +iron rails. Here, conveniently and healthfully elevated above the +level of the living, were the dead, and the tombstones; some of the +latter droopingly inclined from the perpendicular, as if they were +ashamed of the lies they told. + +They paced the whole of this place once, in a constrained and +uncomfortable manner, when the boy stopped and said: + +'Lizzie, Mr Headstone has something to say to you. I don't wish to +be an interruption either to him or to you, and so I'll go and take a +little stroll and come back. I know in a general way what Mr +Headstone intends to say, and I very highly approve of it, as I +hope--and indeed I do not doubt--you will. I needn't tell you, +Lizzie, that I am under great obligations to Mr Headstone, and that +I am very anxious for Mr Headstone to succeed in all he +undertakes. As I hope--and as, indeed, I don't doubt--you must +be.' + +'Charley,' returned his sister, detaining his hand as he withdrew it, +'I think you had better stay. I think Mr Headstone had better not +say what he thinks of saying.' + +'Why, how do you know what it is?' returned the boy. + +'Perhaps I don't, but--' + +'Perhaps you don't? No, Liz, I should think not. If you knew what +it was, you would give me a very different answer. There; let go; +be sensible. I wonder you don't remember that Mr Headstone is +looking on.' + +She allowed him to separate himself from her, and he, after +saying, 'Now Liz, be a rational girl and a good sister,' walked +away. She remained standing alone with Bradley Headstone, and +it was not until she raised her eyes, that he spoke. + +'I said,' he began, 'when I saw you last, that there was something +unexplained, which might perhaps influence you. I have come +this evening to explain it. I hope you will not judge of me by my +hesitating manner when I speak to you. You see me at my +greatest disadvantage. It is most unfortunate for me that I wish +you to see me at my best, and that I know you see me at my +worst.' + +She moved slowly on when he paused, and he moved slowly on +beside her. + +'It seems egotistical to begin by saying so much about myself,' he +resumed, 'but whatever I say to you seems, even in my own ears, +below what I want to say, and different from what I want to say. I +can't help it. So it is. You are the ruin of me.' + +She started at the passionate sound of the last words, and at the +passionate action of his hands, with which they were +accompanied. + +'Yes! you are the ruin--the ruin--the ruin--of me. I have no +resources in myself, I have no confidence in myself, I have no +government of myself when you are near me or in my thoughts. +And you are always in my thoughts now. I have never been quit +of you since I first saw you. Oh, that was a wretched day for me! +That was a wretched, miserable day!' + +A touch of pity for him mingled with her dislike of him, and she +said: 'Mr Headstone, I am grieved to have done you any harm, but +I have never meant it.' + +'There!' he cried, despairingly. 'Now, I seem to have reproached +you, instead of revealing to you the state of my own mind! Bear +with me. I am always wrong when you are in question. It is my +doom.' + +Struggling with himself, and by times looking up at the deserted +windows of the houses as if there could be anything written in +their grimy panes that would help him, he paced the whole +pavement at her side, before he spoke again. + +'I must try to give expression to what is in my mind; it shall and +must be spoken. Though you see me so confounded--though you +strike me so helpless--I ask you to believe that there are many +people who think well of me; that there are some people who +highly esteem me; that I have in my way won a Station which is +considered worth winning.' + +'Surely, Mr Headstone, I do believe it. Surely I have always +known it from Charley.' + +'I ask you to believe that if I were to offer my home such as it is, +my station such as it is, my affections such as they are, to any one +of the best considered, and best qualified, and most distinguished, +among the young women engaged in my calling, they would +probably be accepted. Even readily accepted.' + +'I do not doubt it,' said Lizzie, with her eyes upon the ground. + +'I have sometimes had it in my thoughts to make that offer and to +settle down as many men of my class do: I on the one side of a +school, my wife on the other, both of us interested in the same +work.' + +'Why have you not done so?' asked Lizzie Hexam. 'Why do you +not do so?' + +'Far better that I never did! The only one grain of comfort I have +had these many weeks,' he said, always speaking passionately, +and, when most emphatic, repeating that former action of his +hands, which was like flinging his heart's blood down before her in +drops upon the pavement-stones; 'the only one grain of comfort I +have had these many weeks is, that I never did. For if I had, and +if the same spell had come upon me for my ruin, I know I should +have broken that tie asunder as if it had been thread.' + +She glanced at him with a glance of fear, and a shrinking gesture. +He answered, as if she had spoken. + +'No! It would not have been voluntary on my part, any more than +it is voluntary in me to be here now. You draw me to you. If I +were shut up in a strong prison, you would draw me out. I should +break through the wall to come to you. If I were lying on a sick +bed, you would draw me up--to stagger to your feet and fall there.' + +The wild energy of the man, now quite let loose, was absolutely +terrible. He stopped and laid his hand upon a piece of the coping +of the burial-ground enclosure, as if he would have dislodged the +stone. + +'No man knows till the time comes, what depths are within him. +To some men it never comes; let them rest and be thankful! To +me, you brought it; on me, you forced it; and the bottom of this +raging sea,' striking himself upon the breast, 'has been heaved up +ever since.' + +'Mr Headstone, I have heard enough. Let me stop you here. It +will be better for you and better for me. Let us find my brother.' + +'Not yet. It shall and must be spoken. I have been in torments +ever since I stopped short of it before. You are alarmed. It is +another of my miseries that I cannot speak to you or speak of you +without stumbling at every syllable, unless I let the check go +altogether and run mad. Here is a man lighting the lamps. He will +be gone directly. I entreat of you let us walk round this place +again. You have no reason to look alarmed; I can restrain myself, +and I will.' + +She yielded to the entreaty--how could she do otherwise!--and +they paced the stones in silence. One by one the lights leaped up +making the cold grey church tower more remote, and they were +alone again. He said no more until they had regained the spot +where he had broken off; there, he again stood still, and again +grasped the stone. In saying what he said then, he never looked at +her; but looked at it and wrenched at it. + +'You know what I am going to say. I love you. What other men +may mean when they use that expression, I cannot tell; what I +mean is, that I am under the influence of some tremendous +attraction which I have resisted in vain, and which overmasters +me. You could draw me to fire, you could draw me to water, you +could draw me to the gallows, you could draw me to any death, +you could draw me to anything I have most avoided, you could +draw me to any exposure and disgrace. This and the confusion of +my thoughts, so that I am fit for nothing, is what I mean by your +being the ruin of me. But if you would return a favourable answer +to my offer of myself in marriage, you could draw me to any +good--every good--with equal force. My circumstances are quite +easy, and you would want for nothing. My reputation stands quite +high, and would be a shield for yours. If you saw me at my work, +able to do it well and respected in it, you might even come to take +a sort of pride in me;--I would try hard that you should. Whatever +considerations I may have thought of against this offer, I have +conquered, and I make it with all my heart. Your brother favours +me to the utmost, and it is likely that we might live and work +together; anyhow, it is certain that he would have my best +influence and support. I don't know what I could say more if I +tried. I might only weaken what is ill enough said as it is. I only +add that if it is any claim on you to be in earnest, I am in thorough +earnest, dreadful earnest.' + +The powdered mortar from under the stone at which he wrenched, +rattled on the pavement to confirm his words. + +'Mr Headstone--' + +'Stop! I implore you, before you answer me, to walk round this +place once more. It will give you a minute's time to think, and me +a minute's time to get some fortitude together.' + +Again she yielded to the entreaty, and again they came back to the +same place, and again he worked at the stone. + +'Is it,' he said, with his attention apparently engrossed by it, 'yes, or +no?' + +'Mr Headstone, I thank you sincerely, I thank you gratefully, and +hope you may find a worthy wife before long and be very happy. +But it is no.' + +'Is no short time necessary for reflection; no weeks or days?' he +asked, in the same half-suffocated way. + +'None whatever.' + +'Are you quite decided, and is there no chance of any change in +my favour?' + +'I am quite decided, Mr Headstone, and I am bound to answer I +am certain there is none.' + +'Then,' said he, suddenly changing his tone and turning to her, and +bringing his clenched hand down upon the stone with a force that +laid the knuckles raw and bleeding; 'then I hope that I may never +kill him!' + +The dark look of hatred and revenge with which the words broke +from his livid lips, and with which he stood holding out his +smeared hand as if it held some weapon and had just struck a +mortal blow, made her so afraid of him that she turned to run +away. But he caught her by the arm. + +'Mr Headstone, let me go. Mr Headstone, I must call for help!' + +'It is I who should call for help,' he said; 'you don't know yet how +much I need it.' + +The working of his face as she shrank from it, glancing round for +her brother and uncertain what to do, might have extorted a cry +from her in another instant; but all at once he sternly stopped it +and fixed it, as if Death itself had done so. + +'There! You see I have recovered myself. Hear me out.' + +With much of the dignity of courage, as she recalled her self- +reliant life and her right to be free from accountability to this man, +she released her arm from his grasp and stood looking full at him. +She had never been so handsome, in his eyes. A shade came over +them while he looked back at her, as if she drew the very light out +of them to herself. + +'This time, at least, I will leave nothing unsaid,' he went on, folding +his hands before him, clearly to prevent his being betrayed into +any impetuous gesture; 'this last time at least I will not be tortured +with after-thoughts of a lost opportunity. Mr Eugene Wrayburn.' + +'Was it of him you spoke in your ungovernable rage and violence?' +Lizzie Hexam demanded with spirit. + +He bit his lip, and looked at her, and said never a word. + +'Was it Mr Wrayburn that you threatened?' + +He bit his lip again, and looked at her, and said never a word. + +'You asked me to hear you out, and you will not speak. Let me +find my brother.' + +'Stay! I threatened no one.' + +Her look dropped for an instant to his bleeding hand. He lifted it +to his mouth, wiped it on his sleeve, and again folded it over the +other. 'Mr Eugene Wrayburn,' he repeated. + +'Why do you mention that name again and again, Mr Headstone?' + +'Because it is the text of the little I have left to say. Observe! +There are no threats in it. If I utter a threat, stop me, and fasten it +upon me. Mr Eugene Wrayburn.' + +A worse threat than was conveyed in his manner of uttering the +name, could hardly have escaped him. + +'He haunts you. You accept favours from him. You are willing +enough to listen to HIM. I know it, as well as he does.' + +'Mr Wrayburn has been considerate and good to me, sir,' said +Lizzie, proudly, 'in connexion with the death and with the memory +of my poor father.' + +'No doubt. He is of course a very considerate and a very good +man, Mr Eugene Wrayburn.' + +'He is nothing to you, I think,' said Lizzie, with an indignation she +could not repress. + +'Oh yes, he is. There you mistake. He is much to me.' + +'What can he be to you?' + +'He can be a rival to me among other things,' said Bradley. + +'Mr Headstone,' returned Lizzie, with a burning face, 'it is +cowardly in you to speak to me in this way. But it makes me able +to tell you that I do not like you, and that I never have liked you +from the first, and that no other living creature has anything to do +with the effect you have produced upon me for yourself.' + +His head bent for a moment, as if under a weight, and he then +looked up again, moistening his lips. 'I was going on with the little +I had left to say. I knew all this about Mr Eugene Wrayburn, all +the while you were drawing me to you. I strove against the +knowledge, but quite in vain. It made no difference in me. With +Mr Eugene Wrayburn in my mind, I went on. With Mr Eugene +Wrayburn in my mind, I spoke to you just now. With Mr Eugene +Wrayburn in my mind, I have been set aside and I have been cast +out.' + +'If you give those names to my thanking you for your proposal and +declining it, is it my fault, Mr Headstone?' said Lizzie, +compassionating the bitter struggle he could not conceal, almost as +much as she was repelled and alarmed by it. + +'I am not complaining,' he returned, 'I am only stating the case. I +had to wrestle with my self-respect when I submitted to be drawn +to you in spite of Mr Wrayburn. You may imagine how low my +self-respect lies now.' + +She was hurt and angry; but repressed herself in consideration of +his suffering, and of his being her brother's friend. + +'And it lies under his feet,' said Bradley, unfolding his hands in +spite of himself, and fiercely motioning with them both towards +the stones of the pavement. 'Remember that! It lies under that +fellow's feet, and he treads upon it and exults above it.' + +'He does not!' said Lizzie. + +'He does!' said Bradley. 'I have stood before him face to face, and +he crushed me down in the dirt of his contempt, and walked over +me. Why? Because he knew with triumph what was in store for +me to-night.' + +'O, Mr Headstone, you talk quite wildly.' + +'Quite collectedly. I know what I say too well. Now I have said +all. I have used no threat, remember; I have done no more than +show you how the case stands;--how the case stands, so far.' + +At this moment her brother sauntered into view close by. She +darted to him, and caught him by the hand. Bradley followed, and +laid his heavy hand on the boy's opposite shoulder. + +'Charley Hexam, I am going home. I must walk home by myself +to-night, and get shut up in my room without being spoken to. +Give me half an hour's start, and let me be, till you find me at my +work in the morning. I shall be at my work in the morning just as +usual.' + +Clasping his hands, he uttered a short unearthly broken cry, and +went his way. The brother and sister were left looking at one +another near a lamp in the solitary churchyard, and the boy's face +clouded and darkened, as he said in a rough tone: 'What is the +meaning of this? What have you done to my best friend? Out +with the truth!' + +'Charley!' said his sister. 'Speak a little more considerately!' + +'I am not in the humour for consideration, or for nonsense of any +sort,' replied the boy. 'What have you been doing? Why has Mr +Headstone gone from us in that way?' + +'He asked me--you know he asked me--to be his wife, Charley.' + +'Well?' said the boy, impatiently. + +'And I was obliged to tell him that I could not be his wife.' + +'You were obliged to tell him,' repeated the boy angrily, between +his teeth, and rudely pushing her away. 'You were obliged to tell +him! Do you know that he is worth fifty of you?' + +'It may easily be so, Charley, but I cannot marry him.' + +'You mean that you are conscious that you can't appreciate him, +and don't deserve him, I suppose?' + +'I mean that I do not like him, Charley, and that I will never marry +him.' + +'Upon my soul,' exclaimed the boy, 'you are a nice picture of a +sister! Upon my soul, you are a pretty piece of disinterestedness! +And so all my endeavours to cancel the past and to raise myself in +the world, and to raise you with me, are to be beaten down by +YOUR low whims; are they?' + +'I will not reproach you, Charley.' + +'Hear her!' exclaimed the boy, looking round at the darkness. 'She +won't reproach me! She does her best to destroy my fortunes and +her own, and she won't reproach me! Why, you'll tell me, next, +that you won't reproach Mr Headstone for coming out of the +sphere to which he is an ornament, and putting himself at YOUR +feet, to be rejected by YOU!' + +'No, Charley; I will only tell you, as I told himself, that I thank him +for doing so, that I am sorry he did so, and that I hope he will do +much better, and be happy.' + +Some touch of compunction smote the boy's hardening heart as he +looked upon her, his patient little nurse in infancy, his patient +friend, adviser, and reclaimer in boyhood, the self-forgetting sister +who had done everything for him. His tone relented, and he drew +her arm through his. + +'Now, come, Liz; don't let us quarrel: let us be reasonable and talk +this over like brother and sister. Will you listen to me?' + +'Oh, Charley!' she replied through her starting tears; 'do I not listen +to you, and hear many hard things!' + +'Then I am sorry. There, Liz! I am unfeignedly sorry. Only you +do put me out so. Now see. Mr Headstone is perfectly devoted to +you. He has told me in the strongest manner that he has never +been his old self for one single minute since I first brought him to +see you. Miss Peecher, our schoolmistress--pretty and young, and +all that--is known to be very much attached to him, and he won't +so much as look at her or hear of her. Now, his devotion to you +must be a disinterested one; mustn't it? If he married Miss +Peecher, he would be a great deal better off in all worldly +respects, than in marrying you. Well then; he has nothing to get +by it, has he?' + +'Nothing, Heaven knows!' + +'Very well then,' said the boy; 'that's something in his favour, and a +great thing. Then I come in. Mr Headstone has always got me on, +and he has a good deal in his power, and of course if he was my +brother-in-law he wouldn't get me on less, but would get me on +more. Mr Headstone comes and confides in me, in a very delicate +way, and says, "I hope my marrying your sister would be +agreeable to you, Hexam, and useful to you?" I say, "There's +nothing in the world, Mr Headstone, that I could be better pleased +with." Mr Headstone says, "Then I may rely upon your intimate +knowledge of me for your good word with your sister, Hexam?" +And I say, "Certainly, Mr Headstone, and naturally I have a good +deal of influence with her." So I have; haven't I, Liz?' + +'Yes, Charley.' + +'Well said! Now, you see, we begin to get on, the moment we +begin to be really talking it over, like brother and sister. Very +well. Then YOU come in. As Mr Headstone's wife you would be +occupying a most respectable station, and you would be holding a +far better place in society than you hold now, and you would at +length get quit of the river-side and the old disagreeables +belonging to it, and you would be rid for good of dolls' +dressmakers and their drunken fathers, and the like of that. Not +that I want to disparage Miss Jenny Wren: I dare say she is all +very well in her way; but her way is not your way as Mr +Headstone's wife. Now, you see, Liz, on all three accounts--on +Mr Headstone's, on mine, on yours--nothing could be better or +more desirable.' + +They were walking slowly as the boy spoke, and here he stood +still, to see what effect he had made. His sister's eyes were fixed +upon him; but as they showed no yielding, and as she remained +silent, he walked her on again. There was some discomfiture in +his tone as he resumed, though he tried to conceal it. + +'Having so much influence with you, Liz, as I have, perhaps I +should have done better to have had a little chat with you in the +first instance, before Mr Headstone spoke for himself. But really +all this in his favour seemed so plain and undeniable, and I knew +you to have always been so reasonable and sensible, that I didn't +consider it worth while. Very likely that was a mistake of mine. +However, it's soon set right. All that need be done to set it right, is +for you to tell me at once that I may go home and tell Mr +Headstone that what has taken place is not final, and that it will all +come round by-and-by.' + +He stopped again. The pale face looked anxiously and lovingly at +him, but she shook her head. + +'Can't you speak?' said the boy sharply. + +'I am very unwilling to speak, Charley. If I must, I must. I cannot +authorize you to say any such thing to Mr Headstone: I cannot +allow you to say any such thing to Mr Headstone. Nothing +remains to be said to him from me, after what I have said for good +and all, to-night.' + +'And this girl,' cried the boy, contemptuously throwing her off +again, 'calls herself a sister!' + +'Charley, dear, that is the second time that you have almost struck +me. Don't be hurt by my words. I don't mean--Heaven forbid!-- +that you intended it; but you hardly know with what a sudden +swing you removed yourself from me.' + +'However!' said the boy, taking no heed of the remonstrance, and +pursuing his own mortified disappointment, 'I know what this +means, and you shall not disgrace me.' + +'It means what I have told you, Charley, and nothing more.' + +'That's not true,' said the boy in a violent tone, 'and you know it's +not. It means your precious Mr Wrayburn; that's what it means.' + +'Charley! If you remember any old days of ours together, +forbear!' + +'But you shall not disgrace me,' doggedly pursued the boy. 'I am +determined that after I have climbed up out of the mire, you shall +not pull me down. You can't disgrace me if I have nothing to do +with you, and I will have nothing to do with you for the future.' + +'Charley! On many a night like this, and many a worse night, I +have sat on the stones of the street, hushing you in my arms. +Unsay those words without even saying you are sorry for them, +and my arms are open to you still, and so is my heart.' + +'I'll not unsay them. I'll say them again. You are an inveterately +bad girl, and a false sister, and I have done with you. For ever, I +have done with you!' + +He threw up his ungrateful and ungracious hand as if it set up a +barrier between them, and flung himself upon his heel and left her. +She remained impassive on the same spot, silent and motionless, +until the striking of the church clock roused her, and she turned +away. But then, with the breaking up of her immobility came the +breaking up of the waters that the cold heart of the selfish boy had +frozen. And 'O that I were lying here with the dead!' and 'O +Charley, Charley, that this should be the end of our pictures in the +fire!' were all the words she said, as she laid her face in her hands +on the stone coping. + +A figure passed by, and passed on, but stopped and looked round +at her. It was the figure of an old man with a bowed head, +wearing a large brimmed low-crowned hat, and a long-skirted +coat. After hesitating a little, the figure turned back, and, +advancing with an air of gentleness and compassion, said: + +'Pardon me, young woman, for speaking to you, but you are under +some distress of mind. I cannot pass upon my way and leave you +weeping here alone, as if there was nothing in the place. Can I +help you? Can I do anything to give you comfort?' + +She raised her head at the sound of these kind words, and +answered gladly, 'O, Mr Riah, is it you?' + +'My daughter,' said the old man, 'I stand amazed! I spoke as to a +stranger. Take my arm, take my arm. What grieves you? Who +has done this? Poor girl, poor girl!' + +'My brother has quarrelled with me,' sobbed Lizzie, 'and +renounced me.' + +'He is a thankless dog,' said the Jew, angrily. 'Let him go.' Shake +the dust from thy feet and let him go. Come, daughter! Come +home with me--it is but across the road--and take a little time to +recover your peace and to make your eyes seemly, and then I will +bear you company through the streets. For it is past your usual +time, and will soon be late, and the way is long, and there is much +company out of doors to-night.' + +She accepted the support he offered her, and they slowly passed +out of the churchyard. They were in the act of emerging into the +main thoroughfare, when another figure loitering discontentedly +by, and looking up the street and down it, and all about, started +and exclaimed, 'Lizzie! why, where have you been? Why, what's +the matter?' + +As Eugene Wrayburn thus addressed her, she drew closer to the +Jew, and bent her head. The Jew having taken in the whole of +Eugene at one sharp glance, cast his eyes upon the ground, and +stood mute. + +'Lizzie, what is the matter?' + +'Mr Wrayburn, I cannot tell you now. I cannot tell you to-night, if +I ever can tell you. Pray leave me.' + +'But, Lizzie, I came expressly to join you. I came to walk home +with you, having dined at a coffee-house in this neighbourhood +and knowing your hour. And I have been lingering about,' added +Eugene, 'like a bailiff; or,' with a look at Riah, 'an old clothesman.' + +The Jew lifted up his eyes, and took in Eugene once more, at +another glance. + +'Mr Wrayburn, pray, pray, leave me with this protector. And one +thing more. Pray, pray be careful of yourself.' + +'Mysteries of Udolpho!' said Eugene, with a look of wonder. 'May +I be excused for asking, in the elderly gentleman's presence, who +is this kind protector?' + +'A trustworthy friend,' said Lizzie. + +'I will relieve him of his trust,' returned Eugene. 'But you must tell +me, Lizzie, what is the matter?' + +'Her brother is the matter,' said the old man, lifting up his eyes +again. + +'Our brother the matter?' returned Eugene, with airy contempt. +'Our brother is not worth a thought, far less a tear. What has our +brother done?' + +The old man lifted up his eyes again, with one grave look at +Wrayburn, and one grave glance at Lizzie, as she stood looking +down. Both were so full of meaning that even Eugene was +checked in his light career, and subsided into a thoughtful +'Humph!' + +With an air of perfect patience the old man, remaining mute and +keeping his eyes cast down, stood, retaining Lizzie's arm, as +though in his habit of passive endurance, it would be all one to +him if he had stood there motionless all night. + +'If Mr Aaron,' said Eugene, who soon found this fatiguing, 'will be +good enough to relinquish his charge to me, he will be quite free +for any engagement he may have at the Synagogue. Mr Aaron, +will you have the kindness?' + +But the old man stood stock still. + +'Good evening, Mr Aaron,' said Eugene, politely; 'we need not +detain you.' Then turning to Lizzie, 'Is our friend Mr Aaron a little +deaf?' + +'My hearing is very good, Christian gentleman,' replied the old +man, calmly; 'but I will hear only one voice to-night, desiring me +to leave this damsel before I have conveyed her to her home. If +she requests it, I will do it. I will do it for no one else.' + +'May I ask why so, Mr Aaron?' said Eugene, quite undisturbed in +his ease. + +'Excuse me. If she asks me, I will tell her,' replied the old man. 'I +will tell no one else.' + +'I do not ask you,' said Lizzie, 'and I beg you to take me home. Mr +Wrayburn, I have had a bitter trial to-night, and I hope you will +not think me ungrateful, or mysterious, or changeable. I am +neither; I am wretched. Pray remember what I said to you. Pray, +pray, take care.' + +'My dear Lizzie,' he returned, in a low voice, bending over her on +the other side; 'of what? Of whom?' + +'Of any one you have lately seen and made angry.' + +He snapped his fingers and laughed. 'Come,' said he, 'since no +better may be, Mr Aaron and I will divide this trust, and see you +home together. Mr Aaron on that side; I on this. If perfectly +agreeable to Mr Aaron, the escort will now proceed.' + +He knew his power over her. He knew that she would not insist +upon his leaving her. He knew that, her fears for him being +aroused, she would be uneasy if he were out of her sight. For all +his seeming levity and carelessness, he knew whatever he chose to +know of the thoughts of her heart. + +And going on at her side, so gaily, regardless of all that had been +urged against him; so superior in his sallies and self-possession to +the gloomy constraint of her suitor and the selfish petulance of her +brother; so faithful to her, as it seemed, when her own stock was +faithless; what an immense advantage, what an overpowering +influence, were his that night! Add to the rest, poor girl, that she +had heard him vilified for her sake, and that she had suffered for +his, and where the wonder that his occasional tones of serious +interest (setting off his carelessness, as if it were assumed to calm +her), that his lightest touch, his lightest look, his very presence +beside her in the dark common street, were like glimpses of an +enchanted world, which it was natural for jealousy and malice and +all meanness to be unable to bear the brightness of, and to gird at +as bad spirits might. + +Nothing more being said of repairing to Riah's, they went direct to +Lizzie's lodging. A little short of the house-door she parted from +them, and went in alone. + +'Mr Aaron,' said Eugene, when they were left together in the +street, 'with many thanks for your company, it remains for me +unwillingly to say Farewell.' + +'Sir,' returned the other, 'I give you good night, and I wish that you +were not so thoughtless.' + +'Mr Aaron,' returned Eugene, 'I give you good night, and I wish +(for you are a little dull) that you were not so thoughtful.' + +But now, that his part was played out for the evening, and when in +turning his back upon the Jew he came off the stage, he was +thoughtful himself. 'How did Lightwood's catechism run?' he +murmured, as he stopped to light his cigar. 'What is to come of it? +What are you doing? Where are you going? We shall soon know +now. Ah!' with a heavy sigh. + +The heavy sigh was repeated as if by an echo, an hour afterwards, +when Riah, who had been sitting on some dark steps in a corner +over against the house, arose and went his patient way; stealing +through the streets in his ancient dress, like the ghost of a departed +Time. + + + +Chapter 16 + +AN ANNIVERSARY OCCASION + + +The estimable Twemlow, dressing himself in his lodgings over the +stable-yard in Duke Street, Saint James's, and hearing the horses at +their toilette below, finds himself on the whole in a +disadvantageous position as compared with the noble animals at +livery. For whereas, on the one hand, he has no attendant to slap +him soundingly and require him in gruff accents to come up and +come over, still, on the other hand, he has no attendant at all; and +the mild gentleman's finger-joints and other joints working rustily +in the morning, he could deem it agreeable even to be tied up by +the countenance at his chamber-door, so he were there skilfully +rubbed down and slushed and sluiced and polished and clothed, +while himself taking merely a passive part in these trying +transactions. + +How the fascinating Tippins gets on when arraying herself for the +bewilderment of the senses of men, is known only to the Graces +and her maid; but perhaps even that engaging creature, though not +reduced to the self-dependence of Twemlow could dispense with +a good deal of the trouble attendant on the daily restoration of her +charms, seeing that as to her face and neck this adorable divinity +is, as it were, a diurnal species of lobster--throwing off a shell +every forenoon, and needing to keep in a retired spot until the new +crust hardens. + +Howbeit, Twemlow doth at length invest himself with collar and +cravat and wristbands to his knuckles, and goeth forth to +breakfast. And to breakfast with whom but his near neighbours, +the Lammles of Sackville Street, who have imparted to him that +he will meet his distant kinsman, Mr Fledgely. The awful +Snigsworth might taboo and prohibit Fledgely, but the peaceable +Twemlow reasons, If he IS my kinsman I didn't make him so, and +to meet a man is not to know him.' + +It is the first anniversary of the happy marriage of Mr and Mrs +Lammle, and the celebration is a breakfast, because a dinner on +the desired scale of sumptuosity cannot be achieved within less +limits than those of the non-existent palatial residence of which so +many people are madly envious. So, Twemlow trips with not a +little stiffness across Piccadilly, sensible of having once been more +upright in figure and less in danger of being knocked down by +swift vehicles. To be sure that was in the days when he hoped for +leave from the dread Snigsworth to do something, or be +something, in life, and before that magnificent Tartar issued the +ukase, 'As he will never distinguish himself, he must be a poor +gentleman-pensioner of mine, and let him hereby consider himself +pensioned.' + +Ah! my Twemlow! Say, little feeble grey personage, what +thoughts are in thy breast to-day, of the Fancy--so still to call her +who bruised thy heart when it was green and thy head brown--and +whether it be better or worse, more painful or less, to believe in +the Fancy to this hour, than to know her for a greedy armour- +plated crocodile, with no more capacity of imagining the delicate +and sensitive and tender spot behind thy waistcoat, than of going +straight at it with a knitting-needle. Say likewise, my Twemlow, +whether it be the happier lot to be a poor relation of the great, or +to stand in the wintry slush giving the hack horses to drink out of +the shallow tub at the coach-stand, into which thou has so nearly +set thy uncertain foot. Twemlow says nothing, and goes on. + +As he approaches the Lammles' door, drives up a little one-horse +carriage, containing Tippins the divine. Tippins, letting down the +window, playfully extols the vigilance of her cavalier in being in +waiting there to hand her out. Twemlow hands her out with as +much polite gravity as if she were anything real, and they proceed +upstairs. Tippins all abroad about the legs, and seeking to express +that those unsteady articles are only skipping in their native +buoyancy. + +And dear Mrs Lammle and dear Mr Lammle, how do you do, and +when are you going down to what's-its-name place--Guy, Earl of +Warwick, you know--what is it?--Dun Cow--to claim the flitch of +bacon? And Mortimer, whose name is for ever blotted out from +my list of lovers, by reason first of fickleness and then of base +desertion, how do YOU do, wretch? And Mr Wrayburn, YOU +here! What can YOU come for, because we are all very sure +before-hand that you are not going to talk! And Veneering, M.P., +how are things going on down at the house, and when will you +turn out those terrible people for us? And Mrs Veneering, my +dear, can it positively be true that you go down to that stifling +place night after night, to hear those men prose? Talking of +which, Veneering, why don't you prose, for you haven't opened +your lips there yet, and we are dying to hear what you have got to +say to us! Miss Podsnap, charmed to see you. Pa, here? No! +Ma, neither? Oh! Mr Boots! Delighted. Mr Brewer! This IS a +gathering of the clans. Thus Tippins, and surveys Fledgeby and +outsiders through golden glass, murmuring as she turns about and +about, in her innocent giddy way, Anybody else I know? No, I +think not. Nobody there. Nobody THERE. Nobody anywhere! + +Mr Lammle, all a-glitter, produces his friend Fledgeby, as dying +for the honour of presentation to Lady Tippins. Fledgeby +presented, has the air of going to say something, has the air of +going to say nothing, has an air successively of meditation, of +resignation, and of desolation, backs on Brewer, makes the tour of +Boots, and fades into the extreme background, feeling for his +whisker, as if it might have turned up since he was there five +minutes ago. + +But Lammle has him out again before he has so much as +completely ascertained the bareness of the land. He would seem +to be in a bad way, Fledgeby; for Lammle represents him as dying +again. He is dying now, of want of presentation to Twemlow. + +Twemlow offers his hand. Glad to see him. 'Your mother, sir, +was a connexion of mine.' + +'I believe so,' says Fledgeby, 'but my mother and her family were +two.' + +'Are you staying in town?' asks Twemlow. + +'I always am,' says Fledgeby. + +'You like town,' says Twemlow. But is felled flat by Fledgeby's +taking it quite ill, and replying, No, he don't like town. Lammle +tries to break the force of the fall, by remarking that some people +do not like town. Fledgeby retorting that he never heard of any +such case but his own, Twemlow goes down again heavily. + +'There is nothing new this morning, I suppose?' says Twemlow, +returning to the mark with great spirit. + +Fledgeby has not heard of anything. + +'No, there's not a word of news,' says Lammle. + +'Not a particle,' adds Boots. + +'Not an atom,' chimes in Brewer. + +Somehow the execution of this little concerted piece appears to +raise the general spirits as with a sense of duty done, and sets the +company a going. Everybody seems more equal than before, to +the calamity of being in the society of everybody else. Even +Eugene standing in a window, moodily swinging the tassel of a +blind, gives it a smarter jerk now, as if he found himself in better +case. + +Breakfast announced. Everything on table showy and gaudy, but +with a self-assertingly temporary and nomadic air on the +decorations, as boasting that they will be much more showy and +gaudy in the palatial residence. Mr Lammle's own particular +servant behind his chair; the Analytical behind Veneering's chair; +instances in point that such servants fall into two classes: one +mistrusting the master's acquaintances, and the other mistrusting +the master. Mr Lammle's servant, of the second class. Appearing +to be lost in wonder and low spirits because the police are so long +in coming to take his master up on some charge of the first +magnitude. + +Veneering, M.P., on the right of Mrs Lammle; Twemlow on her +left; Mrs Veneering, W.M.P. (wife of Member of Parliament), and +Lady Tippins on Mr Lammle's right and left. But be sure that well +within the fascination of Mr Lammle's eye and smile sits little +Georgiana. And be sure that close to little Georgiana, also under +inspection by the same gingerous gentleman, sits Fledgeby. + +Oftener than twice or thrice while breakfast is in progress, Mr +Twemlow gives a little sudden turn towards Mrs Lammle, and +then says to her, 'I beg your pardon!' This not being Twemlow's +usual way, why is it his way to-day? Why, the truth is, Twemlow +repeatedly labours under the impression that Mrs Lammle is going +to speak to him, and turning finds that it is not so, and mostly that +she has her eyes upon Veneering. Strange that this impression so +abides by Twemlow after being corrected, yet so it is. + +Lady Tippins partaking plentifully of the fruits of the earth +(including grape-juice in the category) becomes livelier, and +applies herself to elicit sparks from Mortimer Lightwood. It is +always understood among the initiated, that that faithless lover +must be planted at table opposite to Lady Tippins, who will then +strike conversational fire out of him. In a pause of mastication +and deglutition, Lady Tippins, contemplating Mortimer, recalls +that it was at our dear Veneerings, and in the presence of a party +who are surely all here, that he told them his story of the man +from somewhere, which afterwards became so horribly interesting +and vulgarly popular. + +'Yes, Lady Tippins,' assents Mortimer; 'as they say on the stage, +"Even so!" + +'Then we expect you,' retorts the charmer, 'to sustain your +reputation, and tell us something else.' + +'Lady Tippins, I exhausted myself for life that day, and there is +nothing more to be got out of me.' + +Mortimer parries thus, with a sense upon him that elsewhere it is +Eugene and not he who is the jester, and that in these circles +where Eugene persists in being speechless, he, Mortimer, is but +the double of the friend on whom he has founded himself. + +'But,' quoth the fascinating Tippins, 'I am resolved on getting +something more out of you. Traitor! what is this I hear about +another disappearance?' + +'As it is you who have heard it,' returns Lightwood, 'perhaps you'll +tell us.' + +'Monster, away!' retorts Lady Tippins. 'Your own Golden +Dustman referred me to you.' + +Mr Lammle, striking in here, proclaims aloud that there is a sequel +to the story of the man from somewhere. Silence ensues upon the +proclamation. + +'I assure you,' says Lightwood, glancing round the table, 'I have +nothing to tell.' But Eugene adding in a low voice, 'There, tell it, +tell it!' he corrects himself with the addition, 'Nothing worth +mentioning.' + +Boots and Brewer immediately perceive that it is immensely +worth mentioning, and become politely clamorous. Veneering is +also visited by a perception to the same effect. But it is +understood that his attention is now rather used up, and difficult to +hold, that being the tone of the House of Commons. + +'Pray don't be at the trouble of composing yourselves to listen,' +says Mortimer Lightwood, 'because I shall have finished long +before you have fallen into comfortable attitudes. It's like--' + +'It's like,' impatiently interrupts Eugene, 'the children's narrative: + + "I'll tell you a story + Of Jack a Manory, + And now my story's begun; + I'll tell you another + Of Jack and his brother, + And now my story is done." + +--Get on, and get it over!' + +Eugene says this with a sound of vexation in his voice, leaning +back in his chair and looking balefully at Lady Tippins, who nods +to him as her dear Bear, and playfully insinuates that she (a self- +evident proposition) is Beauty, and he Beast. + +'The reference,' proceeds Mortimer, 'which I suppose to be made +by my honourable and fair enslaver opposite, is to the following +circumstance. Very lately, the young woman, Lizzie Hexam, +daughter of the late Jesse Hexam, otherwise Gaffer, who will be +remembered to have found the body of the man from somewhere, +mysteriously received, she knew not from whom, an explicit +retraction of the charges made against her father, by another +water-side character of the name of Riderhood. Nobody believed +them, because little Rogue Riderhood--I am tempted into the +paraphrase by remembering the charming wolf who would have +rendered society a great service if he had devoured Mr +Riderhood's father and mother in their infancy--had previously +played fast and loose with the said charges, and, in fact, +abandoned them. However, the retraction I have mentioned +found its way into Lizzie Hexam's hands, with a general flavour on +it of having been favoured by some anonymous messenger in a +dark cloak and slouched hat, and was by her forwarded, in her +father's vindication, to Mr Boffin, my client. You will excuse the +phraseology of the shop, but as I never had another client, and in +all likelihood never shall have, I am rather proud of him as a +natural curiosity probably unique.' + +Although as easy as usual on the surface, Lightwood is not quite +as easy as usual below it. With an air of not minding Eugene at +all, he feels that the subject is not altogether a safe one in that +connexion. + +'The natural curiosity which forms the sole ornament of my +professional museum,' he resumes, 'hereupon desires his +Secretary--an individual of the hermit-crab or oyster species, and +whose name, I think, is Chokesmith--but it doesn't in the least +matter--say Artichoke--to put himself in communication with +Lizzie Hexam. Artichoke professes his readiness so to do, +endeavours to do so, but fails.' + +'Why fails?' asks Boots. + +'How fails?' asks Brewer. + +'Pardon me,' returns Lightwood,' I must postpone the reply for one +moment, or we shall have an anti-climax. Artichoke failing +signally, my client refers the task to me: his purpose being to +advance the interests of the object of his search. I proceed to put +myself in communication with her; I even happen to possess some +special means,' with a glance at Eugene, 'of putting myself in +communication with her; but I fail too, because she has vanished.' + +'Vanished!' is the general echo. + +'Disappeared,' says Mortimer. 'Nobody knows how, nobody +knows when, nobody knows where. And so ends the story to +which my honourable and fair enslaver opposite referred.' + +Tippins, with a bewitching little scream, opines that we shall every +one of us be murdered in our beds. Eugene eyes her as if some of +us would be enough for him. Mrs Veneering, W.M.P., remarks +that these social mysteries make one afraid of leaving Baby. +Veneering, M.P., wishes to be informed (with something of a +second-hand air of seeing the Right Honourable Gentleman at the +head of the Home Department in his place) whether it is intended +to be conveyed that the vanished person has been spirited away or +otherwise harmed? Instead of Lightwood's answering, Eugene +answers, and answers hastily and vexedly: 'No, no, no; he doesn't +mean that; he means voluntarily vanished--but utterly-- +completely.' + +However, the great subject of the happiness of Mr and Mrs +Lammle must not be allowed to vanish with the other +vanishments--with the vanishing of the murderer, the vanishing of +Julius Handford, the vanishing of Lizzie Hexam,--and therefore +Veneering must recall the present sheep to the pen from which +they have strayed. Who so fit to discourse of the happiness of Mr +and Mrs Lammle, they being the dearest and oldest friends he has +in the world; or what audience so fit for him to take into his +confidence as that audience, a noun of multitude or signifying +many, who are all the oldest and dearest friends he has in the +world? So Veneering, without the formality of rising, launches +into a familiar oration, gradually toning into the Parliamentary +sing-song, in which he sees at that board his dear friend Twemlow +who on that day twelvemonth bestowed on his dear friend +Lammle the fair hand of his dear friend Sophronia, and in which +he also sees at that board his dear friends Boots and Brewer +whose rallying round him at a period when his dear friend Lady +Tippins likewise rallied round him--ay, and in the foremost rank-- +he can never forget while memory holds her seat. But he is free to +confess that he misses from that board his dear old friend +Podsnap, though he is well represented by his dear young friend +Georgiana. And he further sees at that board (this he announces +with pomp, as if exulting in the powers of an extraordinary +telescope) his friend Mr Fledgeby, if he will permit him to call him +so. For all of these reasons, and many more which he right well +knows will have occurred to persons of your exceptional +acuteness, he is here to submit to you that the time has arrived +when, with our hearts in our glasses, with tears in our eyes, with +blessings on our lips, and in a general way with a profusion of +gammon and spinach in our emotional larders, we should one and +all drink to our dear friends the Lammles, wishing them many +years as happy as the last, and many many friends as congenially +united as themselves. And this he will add; that Anastatia +Veneering (who is instantly heard to weep) is formed on the same +model as her old and chosen friend Sophronia Lammle, in respect +that she is devoted to the man who wooed and won her, and nobly +discharges the duties of a wife. + +Seeing no better way out of it, Veneering here pulls up his +oratorical Pegasus extremely short, and plumps down, clean over +his head, with: 'Lammle, God bless you!' + +Then Lammle. Too much of him every way; pervadingly too +much nose of a coarse wrong shape, and his nose in his mind and +his manners; too much smile to be real; too much frown to be +false; too many large teeth to be visible at once without suggesting +a bite. He thanks you, dear friends, for your kindly greeting, and +hopes to receive you--it may be on the next of these delightful +occasions--in a residence better suited to your claims on the rites +of hospitality. He will never forget that at Veneering's he first saw +Sophronia. Sophronia will never forget that at Veneering's she +first saw him. 'They spoke of it soon after they were married, and +agreed that they would never forget it. In fact, to Veneering they +owe their union. They hope to show their sense of this some day +('No, no, from Veneering)--oh yes, yes, and let him rely upon it, +they will if they can! His marriage with Sophronia was not a +marriage of interest on either side: she had her little fortune, he +had his little fortune: they joined their little fortunes: it was a +marriage of pure inclination and suitability. Thank you! +Sophronia and he are fond of the society of young people; but he +is not sure that their house would be a good house for young +people proposing to remain single, since the contemplation of its +domestic bliss might induce them to change their minds. He will +not apply this to any one present; certainly not to their darling +little Georgiana. Again thank you! Neither, by-the-by, will he +apply it to his friend Fledgeby. He thanks Veneering for the +feeling manner in which he referred to their common friend +Fledgeby, for he holds that gentleman in the highest estimation. +Thank you. In fact (returning unexpectedly to Fledgeby), the +better you know him, the more you find in him that you desire to +know. Again thank you! In his dear Sophronia's name and in his +own, thank you! + +Mrs Lammle has sat quite still, with her eyes cast down upon the +table-cloth. As Mr Lammle's address ends, Twemlow once more +turns to her involuntarily, not cured yet of that often recurring +impression that she is going to speak to him. This time she really +is going to speak to him. Veneering is talking with his other next +neighbour, and she speaks in a low voice. + +'Mr Twemlow.' + +He answers, 'I beg your pardon? Yes?' Still a little doubtful, +because of her not looking at him. + +'You have the soul of a gentleman, and I know I may trust you. +Will you give me the opportunity of saying a few words to you +when you come up stairs?' + +'Assuredly. I shall be honoured.' + +'Don't seem to do so, if you please, and don't think it inconsistent +if my manner should be more careless than my words. I may be +watched.' + +Intensely astonished, Twemlow puts his hand to his forehead, and +sinks back in his chair meditating. Mrs Lammle rises. All rise. +The ladies go up stairs. The gentlemen soon saunter after them. +Fledgeby has devoted the interval to taking an observation of +Boots's whiskers, Brewer's whiskers, and Lammle's whiskers, and +considering which pattern of whisker he would prefer to produce +out of himself by friction, if the Genie of the cheek would only +answer to his rubbing. + +In the drawing-room, groups form as usual. Lightwood, Boots, +and Brewer, flutter like moths around that yellow wax candle-- +guttering down, and with some hint of a winding-sheet in it--Lady +Tippins. Outsiders cultivate Veneering, M P., and Mrs Veneering, +W.M.P. Lammle stands with folded arms, Mephistophelean in a +corner, with Georgiana and Fledgeby. Mrs Lammle, on a sofa by +a table, invites Mr Twemlow's attention to a book of portraits in +her hand. + +Mr Twemlow takes his station on a settee before her, and Mrs +Lammle shows him a portrait. + +'You have reason to be surprised,' she says softly, 'but I wish you +wouldn't look so.' + +Disturbed Twemlow, making an effort not to look so, looks much +more so. + +'I think, Mr Twemlow, you never saw that distant connexion of +yours before to-day?' + +'No, never.' + +'Now that you do see him, you see what he is. You are not proud +of him?' + +'To say the truth, Mrs Lammle, no.' + +'If you knew more of him, you would be less inclined to +acknowledge him. Here is another portrait. What do you think of +it?' + +Twemlow has just presence of mind enough to say aloud: 'Very +like! Uncommonly like!' + +'You have noticed, perhaps, whom he favours with his attentions? +You notice where he is now, and how engaged?' + +'Yes. But Mr Lammle--' + +She darts a look at him which he cannot comprehend, and shows +him another portrait. + +'Very good; is it not?' + +'Charming!' says Twemlow. + +'So like as to be almost a caricature?--Mr Twemlow, it is +impossible to tell you what the struggle in my mind has been, +before I could bring myself to speak to you as I do now. It is only +in the conviction that I may trust you never to betray me, that I +can proceed. Sincerely promise me that you never will betray my +confidence--that you will respect it, even though you may no +longer respect me,--and I shall be as satisfied as if you had sworn +it.' + +'Madam, on the honour of a poor gentleman--' + +'Thank you. I can desire no more. Mr Twemlow, I implore you to +save that child!' + +'That child?' + +'Georgiana. She will be sacrificed. She will be inveigled and +married to that connexion of yours. It is a partnership affair, a +money-speculation. She has no strength of will or character to +help herself and she is on the brink of being sold into +wretchedness for life.' + +'Amazing! But what can I do to prevent it?' demands Twemlow, +shocked and bewildered to the last degree. + +'Here is another portrait. And not good, is it?' + +Aghast at the light manner of her throwing her head back to look +at it critically, Twemlow still dimly perceives the expediency of +throwing his own head back, and does so. Though he no more +sees the portrait than if it were in China. + +'Decidedly not good,' says Mrs Lammle. 'Stiff and exaggerated!' + +'And ex--' But Twemlow, in his demolished state, cannot +command the word, and trails off into '--actly so.' + +'Mr Twemlow, your word will have weight with her pompous, +self-blinded father. You know how much he makes of your +family. Lose no time. Warn him.' + +'But warn him against whom?' + +'Against me.' + +By great good fortune Twemlow receives a stimulant at this +critical instant. The stimulant is Lammle's voice. + +'Sophronia, my dear, what portraits are you showing Twemlow?' + +'Public characters, Alfred.' + +'Show him the last of me.' + +'Yes, Alfred.' + +She puts the book down, takes another book up, turns the leaves, +and presents the portrait to Twemlow. + +'That is the last of Mr Lammle. Do you think it good?--Warn her +father against me. I deserve it, for I have been in the scheme from +the first. It is my husband's scheme, your connexion's, and mine. +I tell you this, only to show you the necessity of the poor little +foolish affectionate creature's being befriended and rescued. You +will not repeat this to her father. You will spare me so far, and +spare my husband. For, though this celebration of to-day is all a +mockery, he is my husband, and we must live.--Do you think it +like?' + +Twemlow, in a stunned condition, feigns to compare the portrait in +his hand with the original looking towards him from his +Mephistophelean corner. + +'Very well indeed!' are at length the words which Twemlow with +great difficulty extracts from himself. + +'I am glad you think so. On the whole, I myself consider it the +best. The others are so dark. Now here, for instance, is another +of Mr Lammle--' + +'But I don't understand; I don't see my way,' Twemlow stammers, +as he falters over the book with his glass at his eye. 'How warn +her father, and not tell him? Tell him how much? Tell him how +little? I--I--am getting lost.' + +'Tell him I am a match-maker; tell him I am an artful and +designing woman; tell him you are sure his daughter is best out of +my house and my company. Tell him any such things of me; they +will all be true. You know what a puffed-up man he is, and how +easily you can cause his vanity to take the alarm. Tell him as +much as will give him the alarm and make him careful of her, and +spare me the rest. Mr Twemlow, I feel my sudden degradation in +your eyes; familiar as I am with my degradation in my own eyes, I +keenly feel the change that must have come upon me in yours, in +these last few moments. But I trust to your good faith with me as +implicitly as when I began. If you knew how often I have tried to +speak to you to-day, you would almost pity me. I want no new +promise from you on my own account, for I am satisfied, and I +always shall be satisfied, with the promise you have given me. I +can venture to say no more, for I see that I am watched. If you +would set my mind at rest with the assurance that you will +interpose with the father and save this harmless girl, close that +book before you return it to me, and I shall know what you mean, +and deeply thank you in my heart.--Alfred, Mr Twemlow thinks +the last one the best, and quite agrees with you and me.' + +Alfred advances. The groups break up. Lady Tippins rises to go, +and Mrs Veneering follows her leader. For the moment, Mrs +Lammle does not turn to them, but remains looking at Twemlow +looking at Alfred's portrait through his eyeglass. The moment +past, Twemlow drops his eyeglass at its ribbon's length, rises, and +closes the book with an emphasis which makes that fragile +nursling of the fairies, Tippins, start. + +Then good-bye and good-bye, and charming occasion worthy of +the Golden Age, and more about the flitch of bacon, and the like +of that; and Twemlow goes staggering across Piccadilly with his +hand to his forehead, and is nearly run down by a flushed +lettercart, and at last drops safe in his easy-chair, innocent good +gentleman, with his hand to his forehead still, and his head in a +whirl. + + + +BOOK THE THIRD + +A LONG LANE + + + +Chapter 1 + +LODGERS IN QUEER STREET + + +It was a foggy day in London, and the fog was heavy and dark. +Animate London, with smarting eyes and irritated lungs, was +blinking, wheezing, and choking; inanimate London was a sooty +spectre, divided in purpose between being visible and invisible, +and so being wholly neither. Gaslights flared in the shops with a +haggard and unblest air, as knowing themselves to be night- +creatures that had no business abroad under the sun; while the sun +itself when it was for a few moments dimly indicated through +circling eddies of fog, showed as if it had gone out and were +collapsing flat and cold. Even in the surrounding country it was a +foggy day, but there the fog was grey, whereas in London it was, at +about the boundary line, dark yellow, and a little within it brown, +and then browner, and then browner, until at the heart of the City-- +which call Saint Mary Axe--it was rusty-black. From any point of +the high ridge of land northward, it might have been discerned that +the loftiest buildings made an occasional struggle to get their heads +above the foggy sea, and especially that the great dome of Saint +Paul's seemed to die hard; but this was not perceivable in the +streets at their feet, where the whole metropolis was a heap of +vapour charged with muffled sound of wheels, and enfolding a +gigantic catarrh. + +At nine o'clock on such a morning, the place of business of Pubsey +and Co. was not the liveliest object even in Saint Mary Axe--which +is not a very lively spot--with a sobbing gaslight in the counting- +house window, and a burglarious stream of fog creeping in to +strangle it through the keyhole of the main door. But the light +went out, and the main door opened, and Riah came forth with a +bag under his arm. + +Almost in the act of coming out at the door, Riah went into the fog, +and was lost to the eyes of Saint Mary Axe. But the eyes of this +history can follow him westward, by Cornhill, Cheapside, Fleet +Street, and the Strand, to Piccadilly and the Albany. Thither he +went at his grave and measured pace, staff in hand, skirt at heel; +and more than one head, turning to look back at his venerable +figure already lost in the mist, supposed it to be some ordinary +figure indistinctly seen, which fancy and the fog had worked into +that passing likeness. + +Arrived at the house in which his master's chambers were on the +second floor, Riah proceeded up the stairs, and paused at +Fascination Fledgeby's door. Making free with neither bell nor +knocker, he struck upon the door with the top of his staff, and, +having listened, sat down on the threshold. It was characteristic of +his habitual submission, that he sat down on the raw dark +staircase, as many of his ancestors had probably sat down in +dungeons, taking what befell him as it might befall. + +After a time, when he had grown so cold as to be fain to blow upon +his fingers, he arose and knocked with his staff again, and listened +again, and again sat down to wait. Thrice he repeated these +actions before his listening ears were greeted by the voice of +Fledgeby, calling from his bed, 'Hold your row!--I'll come and open +the door directly!' But, in lieu of coming directly, he fell into a +sweet sleep for some quarter of an hour more, during which added +interval Riah sat upon the stairs and waited with perfect patience. + +At length the door stood open, and Mr Fledgeby's retreating +drapery plunged into bed again. Following it at a respectful +distance, Riah passed into the bed-chamber, where a fire had been +sometime lighted, and was burning briskly. + +'Why, what time of night do you mean to call it?' inquired +Fledgeby, turning away beneath the clothes, and presenting a +comfortable rampart of shoulder to the chilled figure of the old +man. + +'Sir, it is full half-past ten in the morning.' + +'The deuce it is! Then it must be precious foggy?' + +'Very foggy, sir.' + +'And raw, then?' + +'Chill and bitter,' said Riah, drawing out a handkerchief, and +wiping the moisture from his beard and long grey hair as he stood +on the verge of the rug, with his eyes on the acceptable fire. + +With a plunge of enjoyment, Fledgeby settled himself afresh. + +'Any snow, or sleet, or slush, or anything of that sort?' he asked. + +'No, sir, no. Not quite so bad as that. The streets are pretty clean.' + +'You needn't brag about it,' returned Fledgeby, disappointed in his +desire to heighten the contrast between his bed and the streets. +'But you're always bragging about something. Got the books +there?' + +'They are here, sir.' + +'All right. I'll turn the general subject over in my mind for a +minute or two, and while I'm about it you can empty your bag and +get ready for me.' + +With another comfortable plunge, Mr Fledgeby fell asleep again. +The old man, having obeyed his directions, sat down on the edge of +a chair, and, folding his hands before him, gradually yielded to the +influence of the warmth, and dozed. He was roused by Mr +Fledgeby's appearing erect at the foot of the bed, in Turkish +slippers, rose-coloured Turkish trousers (got cheap from somebody +who had cheated some other somebody out of them), and a gown +and cap to correspond. In that costume he would have left nothing +to be desired, if he had been further fitted out with a bottomless +chair, a lantern, and a bunch of matches. + +'Now, old 'un!' cried Fascination, in his light raillery, 'what dodgery +are you up to next, sitting there with your eyes shut? You ain't +asleep. Catch a weasel at it, and catch a Jew!' + +'Truly, sir, I fear I nodded,' said the old man. + +'Not you!' returned Fledgeby, with a cunning look. 'A telling move +with a good many, I dare say, but it won't put ME off my guard. +Not a bad notion though, if you want to look indifferent in driving +a bargain. Oh, you are a dodger!' + +The old man shook his head, gently repudiating the imputation, +and suppressed a sigh, and moved to the table at which Mr +Fledgeby was now pouring out for himself a cup of steaming and +fragrant coffee from a pot that had stood ready on the hob. It was +an edifying spectacle, the young man in his easy chair taking his +coffee, and the old man with his grey head bent, standing awaiting +his pleasure. + +'Now!' said Fledgeby. 'Fork out your balance in hand, and prove +by figures how you make it out that it ain't more. First of all, light +that candle.' + +Riah obeyed, and then taking a bag from his breast, and referring +to the sum in the accounts for which they made him responsible, +told it out upon the table. Fledgeby told it again with great care, +and rang every sovereign. + +'I suppose,' he said, taking one up to eye it closely, 'you haven't +been lightening any of these; but it's a trade of your people's, you +know. YOU understand what sweating a pound means, don't +you?' + +'Much as you do, sir,' returned the old man, with his hands under +opposite cuffs of his loose sleeves, as he stood at the table, +deferentially observant of the master's face. 'May I take the liberty +to say something?' + +'You may,' Fledgeby graciously conceded. + +'Do you not, sir--without intending it--of a surety without intending +it--sometimes mingle the character I fairly earn in your +employment, with the character which it is your policy that I +should bear?' + +'I don't find it worth my while to cut things so fine as to go into the +inquiry,' Fascination coolly answered. + +'Not in justice?' + +'Bother justice!' said Fledgeby. + +'Not in generosity?' + +'Jews and generosity!' said Fledgeby. 'That's a good connexion! +Bring out your vouchers, and don't talk Jerusalem palaver.' + +The vouchers were produced, and for the next half-hour Mr +Fledgeby concentrated his sublime attention on them. They and +the accounts were all found correct, and the books and the papers +resumed their places in the bag. + +'Next,' said Fledgeby, 'concerning that bill-broking branch of the +business; the branch I like best. What queer bills are to be bought, +and at what prices? You have got your list of what's in the +market?' + +'Sir, a long list,' replied Riah, taking out a pocket-book, and +selecting from its contents a folded paper, which, being unfolded, +became a sheet of foolscap covered with close writing. + +'Whew!' whistled Fledgeby, as he took it in his hand. 'Queer Street +is full of lodgers just at present! These are to be disposed of in +parcels; are they?' + +'In parcels as set forth,' returned the old man, looking over his +master's shoulder; 'or the lump.' + +'Half the lump will be waste-paper, one knows beforehand,' said +Fledgeby. 'Can you get it at waste-paper price? That's the +question.' + +Riah shook his head, and Fledgeby cast his small eyes down the +list. They presently began to twinkle, and he no sooner became +conscious of their twinkling, than he looked up over his shoulder at +the grave face above him, and moved to the chimney-piece. +Making a desk of it, he stood there with his back to the old man, +warming his knees, perusing the list at his leisure, and often +returning to some lines of it, as though they were particularly +interesting. At those times he glanced in the chimney-glass to see +what note the old man took of him. He took none that could be +detected, but, aware of his employer's suspicions, stood with his +eyes on the ground. + +Mr Fledgeby was thus amiably engaged when a step was heard at +the outer door, and the door was heard to open hastily. 'Hark! +That's your doing, you Pump of Israel,' said Fledgeby; 'you can't +have shut it.' Then the step was heard within, and the voice of Mr +Alfred Lammle called aloud, 'Are you anywhere here, Fledgeby?' +To which Fledgeby, after cautioning Riah in a low voice to take his +cue as it should be given him, replied, 'Here I am!' and opened his +bedroom door. + +'Come in!' said Fledgeby. 'This gentleman is only Pubsey and Co. +of Saint Mary Axe, that I am trying to make terms for an +unfortunate friend with in a matter of some dishonoured bills. But +really Pubsey and Co. are so strict with their debtors, and so hard +to move, that I seem to be wasting my time. Can't I make ANY +terms with you on my friend's part, Mr Riah?' + +'I am but the representative of another, sir,' returned the Jew in a +low voice. 'I do as I am bidden by my principal. It is not my +capital that is invested in the business. It is not my profit that +arises therefrom.' + +'Ha ha!' laughed Fledgeby. 'Lammle?' + +'Ha ha!' laughed Lammle. 'Yes. Of course. We know.' + +'Devilish good, ain't it, Lammle?' said Fledgeby, unspeakably +amused by his hidden joke. + +'Always the same, always the same!' said Lammle. 'Mr--' + +'Riah, Pubsey and Co. Saint Mary Axe,' Fledgeby put in, as he +wiped away the tears that trickled from his eyes, so rare was his +enjoyment of his secret joke. + +'Mr Riah is bound to observe the invaRiahle forms for such cases +made and provided,' said Lammle. + +'He is only the representative of another!' cried Fledgeby. 'Does as +he is told by his principal! Not his capital that's invested in the +business. Oh, that's good! Ha ha ha ha!' Mr Lammle joined in the +laugh and looked knowing; and the more he did both, the more +exquisite the secret joke became for Mr Fledgeby. + +'However,' said that fascinating gentleman, wiping his eyes again, +'if we go on in this way, we shall seem to be almost making game +of Mr Riah, or of Pubsey and Co. Saint Mary Axe, or of somebody: +which is far from our intention. Mr Riah, if you would have the +kindness to step into the next room for a few moments while I +speak with Mr Lammle here, I should like to try to make terms +with you once again before you go.' + +The old man, who had never raised his eyes during the whole +transaction of Mr Fledgeby's joke, silently bowed and passed out +by the door which Fledgeby opened for him. Having closed it on +him, Fledgeby returned to Lammle, standing with his back to the +bedroom fire, with one hand under his coat-skirts, and all his +whiskers in the other. + +'Halloa!' said Fledgeby. 'There's something wrong!' + +'How do you know it?' demanded Lammle. + +'Because you show it,' replied Fledgeby in unintentional rhyme. + +'Well then; there is,' said Lammle; 'there IS something wrong; the +whole thing's wrong.' + +'I say!' remonstrated Fascination very slowly, and sitting down +with his hands on his knees to stare at his glowering friend with +his back to the fire. + +'I tell you, Fledgeby,' repeated Lammle, with a sweep of his right +arm, 'the whole thing's wrong. The game's up.' + +'What game's up?' demanded Fledgeby, as slowly as before, and +more sternly. + +'THE game. OUR game. Read that.' + +Fledgeby took a note from his extended hand and read it aloud. +'Alfred Lammle, Esquire. Sir: Allow Mrs Podsnap and myself to +express our united sense of the polite attentions of Mrs Alfred +Lammle and yourself towards our daughter, Georgiana. Allow us +also, wholly to reject them for the future, and to communicate our +final desire that the two families may become entire strangers. I +have the honour to be, Sir, your most obedient and very humble +servant, JOHN PODSNAP.' Fledgeby looked at the three blank +sides of this note, quite as long and earnestly as at the first +expressive side, and then looked at Lammle, who responded with +another extensive sweep of his right arm. + +'Whose doing is this?' said Fledgeby. + +'Impossible to imagine,' said Lammle. + +'Perhaps,' suggested Fledgeby, after reflecting with a very +discontented brow, 'somebody has been giving you a bad +character.' + +'Or you,' said Lammle, with a deeper frown. + +Mr Fledgeby appeared to be on the verge of some mutinous +expressions, when his hand happened to touch his nose. A certain +remembrance connected with that feature operating as a timely +warning, he took it thoughtfully between his thumb and forefinger, +and pondered; Lammle meanwhile eyeing him with furtive eyes. + +'Well!' said Fledgeby. 'This won't improve with talking about. If +we ever find out who did it, we'll mark that person. There's +nothing more to be said, except that you undertook to do what +circumstances prevent your doing.' + +'And that you undertook to do what you might have done by this +time, if you had made a prompter use of circumstances,' snarled +Lammle. + +'Hah! That,' remarked Fledgeby, with his hands in the Turkish +trousers, 'is matter of opinion.' + +'Mr Fledgeby,' said Lammle, in a bullying tone, 'am I to understand +that you in any way reflect upon me, or hint dissatisfaction with +me, in this affair?' + +'No,' said Fledgeby; 'provided you have brought my promissory +note in your pocket, and now hand it over.' + +Lammle produced it, not without reluctance. Fledgeby looked at it, +identified it, twisted it up, and threw it into the fire. They both +looked at it as it blazed, went out, and flew in feathery ash up the +chimney. + +'NOW, Mr Fledgeby,' said Lammle, as before; 'am I to understand +that you in any way reflect upon me, or hint dissatisfaction with +me, in this affair?' + +'No,' said Fledgeby. + +'Finally and unreservedly no?' + +'Yes.' + +'Fledgeby, my hand.' + +Mr Fledgeby took it, saying, 'And if we ever find out who did this, +we'll mark that person. And in the most friendly manner, let me +mention one thing more. I don't know what your circumstances +are, and I don't ask. You have sustained a loss here. Many men +are liable to be involved at times, and you may be, or you may not +be. But whatever you do, Lammle, don't--don't--don't, I beg of +you--ever fall into the hands of Pubsey and Co. in the next room, +for they are grinders. Regular flayers and grinders, my dear +Lammle,' repeated Fledgeby with a peculiar relish, 'and they'll skin +you by the inch, from the nape of your neck to the sole of your foot, +and grind every inch of your skin to tooth-powder. You have seen +what Mr Riah is. Never fall into his hands, Lammle, I beg of you +as a friend!' + +Mr Lammle, disclosing some alarm at the solemnity of this +affectionate adjuration, demanded why the devil he ever should fall +into the hands of Pubsey and Co.? + +'To confess the fact, I was made a little uneasy,' said the candid +Fledgeby, 'by the manner in which that Jew looked at you when he +heard your name. I didn't like his eye. But it may have been the +heated fancy of a friend. Of course if you are sure that you have no +personal security out, which you may not be quite equal to +meeting, and which can have got into his hands, it must have been +fancy. Still, I didn't like his eye.' + +The brooding Lammle, with certain white dints coming and going +in his palpitating nose, looked as if some tormenting imp were +pinching it. Fledgeby, watching him with a twitch in his mean +face which did duty there for a smile, looked very like the +tormentor who was pinching. + +'But I mustn't keep him waiting too long,' said Fledgeby, 'or he'll +revenge it on my unfortunate friend. How's your very clever and +agreeable wife? She knows we have broken down?' + +'I showed her the letter.' + +'Very much surprised?' asked Fledgeby. + +'I think she would have been more so,' answered Lammle, 'if there +had been more go in YOU?' + +'Oh!--She lays it upon me, then?' + +'Mr Fledgeby, I will not have my words misconstrued.' + +'Don't break out, Lammle,' urged Fledgeby, in a submissive tone, +'because there's no occasion. I only asked a question. Then she +don't lay it upon me? To ask another question.' + +'No, sir.' + +'Very good,' said Fledgeby, plainly seeing that she did. 'My +compliments to her. Good-bye!' + +They shook hands, and Lammle strode out pondering. Fledgeby +saw him into the fog, and, returning to the fire and musing with his +face to it, stretched the legs of the rose-coloured Turkish trousers +wide apart, and meditatively bent his knees, as if he were going +down upon them. + +'You have a pair of whiskers, Lammle, which I never liked,' +murmured Fledgeby, 'and which money can't produce; you are +boastful of your manners and your conversation; you wanted to +pull my nose, and you have let me in for a failure, and your wife +says I am the cause of it. I'll bowl you down. I will, though I have +no whiskers,' here he rubbed the places where they were due, 'and +no manners, and no conversation!' + +Having thus relieved his noble mind, he collected the legs of the +Turkish trousers, straightened himself on his knees, and called out +to Riah in the next room, 'Halloa, you sir!' At sight of the old man +re-entering with a gentleness monstrously in contrast with the +character he had given him, Mr Fledgeby was so tickled again, that +he exclaimed, laughing, 'Good! Good! Upon my soul it is +uncommon good!' + +'Now, old 'un,' proceeded Fledgeby, when he had had his laugh +out, 'you'll buy up these lots that I mark with my pencil--there's a +tick there, and a tick there, and a tick there--and I wager two-pence +you'll afterwards go on squeezing those Christians like the Jew you +are. Now, next you'll want a cheque--or you'll say you want it, +though you've capital enough somewhere, if one only knew where, +but you'd be peppered and salted and grilled on a gridiron before +you'd own to it--and that cheque I'll write.' + +When he had unlocked a drawer and taken a key from it to open +another drawer, in which was another key that opened another +drawer, in which was another key that opened another drawer, in +which was the cheque book; and when he had written the cheque; +and when, reversing the key and drawer process, he had placed his +cheque book in safety again; he beckoned the old man, with the +folded cheque, to come and take it. + +'Old 'un,' said Fledgeby, when the Jew had put it in his +pocketbook, and was putting that in the breast of his outer +garment; 'so much at present for my affairs. Now a word about +affairs that are not exactly mine. Where is she?' + +With his hand not yet withdrawn from the breast of his garment, +Riah started and paused. + +'Oho!' said Fledgeby. 'Didn't expect it! Where have you hidden +her?' + +Showing that he was taken by surprise, the old man looked at his +master with some passing confusion, which the master highly +enjoyed. + +'Is she in the house I pay rent and taxes for in Saint Mary Axe?' +demanded Fledgeby. + +'No, sir.' + +'Is she in your garden up atop of that house--gone up to be dead, or +whatever the game is?' asked Fledgeby. + +'No, sir.' + +'Where is she then?' + +Riah bent his eyes upon the ground, as if considering whether he +could answer the question without breach of faith, and then silently +raised them to Fledgeby's face, as if he could not. + +'Come!' said Fledgeby. 'I won't press that just now. But I want to +know this, and I will know this, mind you. What are you up to?' + +The old man, with an apologetic action of his head and hands, as +not comprehending the master's meaning, addressed to him a look +of mute inquiry. + +'You can't be a gallivanting dodger,' said Fledgeby. 'For you're a +"regular pity the sorrows", you know--if you DO know any +Christian rhyme--"whose trembling limbs have borne him to"--et +cetrer. You're one of the Patriarchs; you're a shaky old card; and +you can't be in love with this Lizzie?' + +'O, sir!' expostulated Riah. 'O, sir, sir, sir!' + +'Then why,' retorted Fledgeby, with some slight tinge of a blush, +'don't you out with your reason for having your spoon in the soup at +all?' + +'Sir, I will tell you the truth. But (your pardon for the stipulation) it +is in sacred confidence; it is strictly upon honour.' + +'Honour too!' cried Fledgeby, with a mocking lip. 'Honour among +Jews. Well. Cut away.' + +'It is upon honour, sir?' the other still stipulated, with respectful +firmness. + +'Oh, certainly. Honour bright,' said Fledgeby. + +The old man, never bidden to sit down, stood with an earnest hand +laid on the back of the young man's easy chair. The young man sat +looking at the fire with a face of listening curiosity, ready to check +him off and catch him tripping. + +'Cut away,' said Fledgeby. 'Start with your motive.' + +'Sir, I have no motive but to help the helpless.' + +Mr Fledgeby could only express the feelings to which this +incredible statement gave rise in his breast, by a prodigiously long +derisive sniff. + +'How I came to know, and much to esteem and to respect, this +damsel, I mentioned when you saw her in my poor garden on the +house-top,' said the Jew. + +'Did you?' said Fledgeby, distrustfully. 'Well. Perhaps you did, +though.' + +'The better I knew her, the more interest I felt in her fortunes. They +gathered to a crisis. I found her beset by a selfish and ungrateful +brother, beset by an unacceptable wooer, beset by the snares of a +more powerful lover, beset by the wiles of her own heart.' + +'She took to one of the chaps then?' + +'Sir, it was only natural that she should incline towards him, for he +had many and great advantages. But he was not of her station, and +to marry her was not in his mind. Perils were closing round her, +and the circle was fast darkening, when I--being as you have said, +sir, too old and broken to be suspected of any feeling for her but a +father's--stepped in, and counselled flight. I said, "My daughter, +there are times of moral danger when the hardest virtuous +resolution to form is flight, and when the most heroic bravery is +flight." She answered, she had had this in her thoughts; but +whither to fly without help she knew not, and there were none to +help her. I showed her there was one to help her, and it was I. +And she is gone.' + +'What did you do with her?' asked Fledgeby, feeling his cheek. + +'I placed her,' said the old man, 'at a distance;' with a grave smooth +outward sweep from one another of his two open hands at arm's +length; 'at a distance--among certain of our people, where her +industry would serve her, and where she could hope to exercise it, +unassailed from any quarter.' + +Fledgeby's eyes had come from the fire to notice the action of his +hands when he said 'at a distance.' Fledgeby now tried (very +unsuccessfully) to imitate that action, as he shook his head and +said, 'Placed her in that direction, did you? Oh you circular old +dodger!' + +With one hand across his breast and the other on the easy chair, +Riah, without justifying himself, waited for further questioning. +But, that it was hopeless to question him on that one reserved +point, Fledgeby, with his small eyes too near together, saw full +well. + +'Lizzie,' said Fledgeby, looking at the fire again, and then looking +up. 'Humph, Lizzie. You didn't tell me the other name in your +garden atop of the house. I'll be more communicative with you. +The other name's Hexam.' + +Riah bent his head in assent. + +'Look here, you sir,' said Fledgeby. 'I have a notion I know +something of the inveigling chap, the powerful one. Has he +anything to do with the law?' + +'Nominally, I believe it his calling.' + +'I thought so. Name anything like Lightwood?' + +'Sir, not at all like.' + +'Come, old 'un,' said Fledgeby, meeting his eyes with a wink, 'say +the name.' + +'Wrayburn.' + +'By Jupiter!' cried Fledgeby. 'That one, is it? I thought it might be +the other, but I never dreamt of that one! I shouldn't object to your +baulking either of the pair, dodger, for they are both conceited +enough; but that one is as cool a customer as ever I met with. Got +a beard besides, and presumes upon it. Well done, old 'un! Go on +and prosper!' + +Brightened by this unexpected commendation, Riah asked were +there more instructions for him? + +'No,' said Fledgeby, 'you may toddle now, Judah, and grope about +on the orders you have got.' Dismissed with those pleasing words, +the old man took his broad hat and staff, and left the great +presence: more as if he were some superior creature benignantly +blessing Mr Fledgeby, than the poor dependent on whom he set his +foot. Left alone, Mr Fledgeby locked his outer door, and came +back to his fire. + +'Well done you!' said Fascination to himself. 'Slow, you may be; +sure, you are!' This he twice or thrice repeated with much +complacency, as he again dispersed the legs of the Turkish trousers +and bent the knees. + +'A tidy shot that, I flatter myself,' he then soliloquised. 'And a Jew +brought down with it! Now, when I heard the story told at +Lammle's, I didn't make a jump at Riah. Not a hit of it; I got at +him by degrees.' Herein he was quite accurate; it being his habit, +not to jump, or leap, or make an upward spring, at anything in life, +but to crawl at everything. + +'I got at him,' pursued Fledgeby, feeling for his whisker, 'by +degrees. If your Lammles or your Lightwoods had got at him +anyhow, they would have asked him the question whether he +hadn't something to do with that gal's disappearance. I knew a +better way of going to work. Having got behind the hedge, and put +him in the light, I took a shot at him and brought him down plump. +Oh! It don't count for much, being a Jew, in a match against ME!' + +Another dry twist in place of a smile, made his face crooked here. + +'As to Christians,' proceeded Fledgeby, 'look out, fellow- +Christians, particularly you that lodge in Queer Street! I have got +the run of Queer Street now, and you shall see some games there. +To work a lot of power over you and you not know it, knowing as +you think yourselves, would be almost worth laying out money +upon. But when it comes to squeezing a profit out of you into the +bargain, it's something like!' + +With this apostrophe Mr Fledgeby appropriately proceeded to +divest himself of his Turkish garments, and invest himself with +Christian attire. Pending which operation, and his morning +ablutions, and his anointing of himself with the last infallible +preparation for the production of luxuriant and glossy hair upon the +human countenance (quacks being the only sages he believed in +besides usurers), the murky fog closed about him and shut him up +in its sooty embrace. If it had never let him out any more, the +world would have had no irreparable loss, but could have easily +replaced him from its stock on hand. + + + +Chapter 2 + +A RESPECTED FRIEND IN A NEW ASPECT + + +In the evening of this same foggy day when the yellow window- +blind of Pubsey and Co. was drawn down upon the day's work, +Riah the Jew once more came forth into Saint Mary Axe. But this +time he carried no bag, and was not bound on his master's affairs. +He passed over London Bridge, and returned to the Middlesex +shore by that of Westminster, and so, ever wading through the fog, +waded to the doorstep of the dolls' dressmaker. + +Miss Wren expected him. He could see her through the window +by the light of her low fire--carefully banked up with damp cinders +that it might last the longer and waste the less when she was out-- +sitting waiting for him in her bonnet. His tap at the glass roused +her from the musing solitude in which she sat, and she came to the +door to open it; aiding her steps with a little crutch-stick. + +'Good evening, godmother!' said Miss Jenny Wren. + +The old man laughed, and gave her his arm to lean on. + +'Won't you come in and warm yourself, godmother?' asked Miss +Jenny Wren. + +'Not if you are ready, Cinderella, my dear.' + +'Well!' exclaimed Miss Wren, delighted. 'Now you ARE a clever +old boy! If we gave prizes at this establishment (but we only keep +blanks), you should have the first silver medal, for taking me up so +quick.' As she spake thus, Miss Wren removed the key of the +house-door from the keyhole and put it in her pocket, and then +bustlingly closed the door, and tried it as they both stood on the +step. Satisfied that her dwelling was safe, she drew one hand +through the old man's arm and prepared to ply her crutch-stick +with the other. But the key was an instrument of such gigantic +proportions, that before they started Riah proposed to carry it. + +'No, no, no! I'll carry it myself,' returned Miss Wren. 'I'm awfully +lopsided, you know, and stowed down in my pocket it'll trim the +ship. To let you into a secret, godmother, I wear my pocket on my +high side, o' purpose.' + +With that they began their plodding through the fog. + +'Yes, it was truly sharp of you, godmother,' resumed Miss Wren +with great approbation, 'to understand me. But, you see, you ARE +so like the fairy godmother in the bright little books! You look so +unlike the rest of people, and so much as if you had changed +yourself into that shape, just this moment, with some benevolent +object. Boh!' cried Miss Jenny, putting her face close to the old +man's. 'I can see your features, godmother, behind the beard.' + +'Does the fancy go to my changing other objects too, Jenny?' + +'Ah! That it does! If you'd only borrow my stick and tap this piece +of pavement--this dirty stone that my foot taps--it would start up a +coach and six. I say! Let's believe so!' + +'With all my heart,' replied the good old man. + +'And I'll tell you what I must ask you to do, godmother. I must ask +you to be so kind as give my child a tap, and change him +altogether. O my child has been such a bad, bad child of late! It +worries me nearly out of my wits. Not done a stroke of work these +ten days. Has had the horrors, too, and fancied that four copper- +coloured men in red wanted to throw him into a fiery furnace.' + +'But that's dangerous, Jenny.' + +'Dangerous, godmother? My child is always dangerous, more or +less. He might'--here the little creature glanced back over her +shoulder at the sky--'be setting the house on fire at this present +moment. I don't know who would have a child, for my part! It's +no use shaking him. I have shaken him till I have made myself +giddy. "Why don't you mind your Commandments and honour +your parent, you naughty old boy?" I said to him all the time. But +he only whimpered and stared at me.' + +'What shall be changed, after him?' asked Riah in a compassionately +playful voice. + +'Upon my word, godmother, I am afraid I must be selfish next, and +get you to set me right in the back and the legs. It's a little thing to +you with your power, godmother, but it's a great deal to poor weak +aching me.' + +There was no querulous complaining in the words, but they were +not the less touching for that. + +'And then?' + +'Yes, and then--YOU know, godmother. We'll both jump up into +the coach and six and go to Lizzie. This reminds me, godmother, +to ask you a serious question. You are as wise as wise can be +(having been brought up by the fairies), and you can tell me this: Is +it better to have had a good thing and lost it, or never to have had +it?' + +'Explain, god-daughter.' + +'I feel so much more solitary and helpless without Lizzie now, than +I used to feel before I knew her.' (Tears were in her eyes as she +said so.) + +'Some beloved companionship fades out of most lives, my dear,' +said the Jew,--'that of a wife, and a fair daughter, and a son of +promise, has faded out of my own life--but the happiness was.' + +'Ah!' said Miss Wren thoughtfully, by no means convinced, and +chopping the exclamation with that sharp little hatchet of hers; +'then I tell you what change I think you had better begin with, +godmother. You had better change Is into Was and Was into Is, +and keep them so.' + +'Would that suit your case? Would you not be always in pain +then?' asked the old man tenderly. + +'Right!' exclaimed Miss Wren with another chop. 'You have +changed me wiser, godmother.--Not,' she added with the quaint +hitch of her chin and eyes, 'that you need be a very wonderful +godmother to do that deed.' + +Thus conversing, and having crossed Westminster Bridge, they +traversed the ground that Riah had lately traversed, and new +ground likewise; for, when they had recrossed the Thames by way +of London Bridge, they struck down by the river and held their still +foggier course that way. + +But previously, as they were going along, Jenny twisted her +venerable friend aside to a brilliantly-lighted toy-shop window, and +said: 'Now look at 'em! All my work!' + +This referred to a dazzling semicircle of dolls in all the colours of +the rainbow, who were dressed for presentation at court, for going +to balls, for going out driving, for going out on horseback, for +going out walking, for going to get married, for going to help other +dolls to get married, for all the gay events of life.' + +'Pretty, pretty, pretty!' said the old man with a clap of his hands. +'Most elegant taste!' + +'Glad you like 'em,' returned Miss Wren, loftily. 'But the fun is, +godmother, how I make the great ladies try my dresses on. Though +it's the hardest part of my business, and would be, even if my back +were not bad and my legs queer.' + +He looked at her as not understanding what she said. + +'Bless you, godmother,' said Miss Wren, 'I have to scud about town +at all hours. If it was only sitting at my bench, cutting out and +sewing, it would be comparatively easy work; but it's the trying-on +by the great ladies that takes it out of me.' + +'How, the trying-on?' asked Riah. + +'What a mooney godmother you are, after all!' returned Miss Wren. +'Look here. There's a Drawing Room, or a grand day in the Park, +or a Show, or a Fete, or what you like. Very well. I squeeze +among the crowd, and I look about me. When I see a great lady +very suitable for my business, I say "You'll do, my dear!" and I take +particular notice of her, and run home and cut her out and baste +her. Then another day, I come scudding back again to try on, and +then I take particular notice of her again. Sometimes she plainly +seems to say, 'How that little creature is staring!' and sometimes +likes it and sometimes don't, but much more often yes than no. All +the time I am only saying to myself, "I must hollow out a bit here; I +must slope away there;" and I am making a perfect slave of her, +with making her try on my doll's dress. Evening parties are severer +work for me, because there's only a doorway for a full view, and +what with hobbling among the wheels of the carriages and the legs +of the horses, I fully expect to be run over some night. However, +there I have 'em, just the same. When they go bobbing into the +hall from the carriage, and catch a glimpse of my little +physiognomy poked out from behind a policeman's cape in the +rain, I dare say they think I am wondering and admiring with all +my eyes and heart, but they little think they're only working for my +dolls! There was Lady Belinda Whitrose. I made her do double +duty in one night. I said when she came out of the carriage, +"YOU'll do, my dear!" and I ran straight home and cut her out and +basted her. Back I came again, and waited behind the men that +called the carriages. Very bad night too. At last, "Lady Belinda +Whitrose's carriage! Lady Belinda Whitrose coming down!" And +I made her try on--oh! and take pains about it too--before she got +seated. That's Lady Belinda hanging up by the waist, much too +near the gaslight for a wax one, with her toes turned in.' + +When they had plodded on for some time nigh the river, Riah +asked the way to a certain tavern called the Six Jolly Fellowship +Porters. Following the directions he received, they arrived, after +two or three puzzled stoppages for consideration, and some +uncertain looking about them, at the door of Miss Abbey +Potterson's dominions. A peep through the glass portion of the +door revealed to them the glories of the bar, and Miss Abbey +herself seated in state on her snug throne, reading the newspaper. +To whom, with deference, they presented themselves. + +Taking her eyes off her newspaper, and pausing with a suspended +expression of countenance, as if she must finish the paragraph in +hand before undertaking any other business whatever, Miss Abbey +demanded, with some slight asperity: 'Now then, what's for you?' + +'Could we see Miss Potterson?' asked the old man, uncovering his +head. + +'You not only could, but you can and you do,' replied the hostess. + +'Might we speak with you, madam?' + +By this time Miss Abbey's eyes had possessed themselves of the +small figure of Miss Jenny Wren. For the closer observation of +which, Miss Abbey laid aside her newspaper, rose, and looked +over the half-door of the bar. The crutch-stick seemed to entreat +for its owner leave to come in and rest by the fire; so, Miss Abbey +opened the half-door, and said, as though replying to the crutch- +stick: + +'Yes, come in and rest by the fire.' + +'My name is Riah,' said the old man, with courteous action, 'and +my avocation is in London city. This, my young companion--' + +'Stop a bit,' interposed Miss Wren. 'I'll give the lady my card.' She +produced it from her pocket with an air, after struggling with the +gigantic door-key which had got upon the top of it and kept it +down. Miss Abbey, with manifest tokens of astonishment, took +the diminutive document, and found it to run concisely thus:-- + + + MISS JENNY WREN + + DOLLS' DRESSMAKER. + + Dolls attended at their own residences. + + +'Lud!' exclaimed Miss Potterson, staring. And dropped the card. + +'We take the liberty of coming, my young companion and I, +madam,' said Riah, 'on behalf of Lizzie Hexam.' + +Miss Potterson was stooping to loosen the bonnet-strings of the +dolls' dressmaker. She looked round rather angrily, and said: +'Lizzie Hexam is a very proud young woman.' + +'She would be so proud,' returned Riah, dexterously, 'to stand well +in your good opinion, that before she quitted London for--' + +'For where, in the name of the Cape of Good Hope?' asked Miss +Potterson, as though supposing her to have emigrated. + +'For the country,' was the cautious answer,--'she made us promise +to come and show you a paper, which she left in our hands for that +special purpose. I am an unserviceable friend of hers, who began +to know her after her departure from this neighbourhood. She has +been for some time living with my young companion, and has been +a helpful and a comfortable friend to her. Much needed, madam,' +he added, in a lower voice. 'Believe me; if you knew all, much +needed.' + +'I can believe that,' said Miss Abbey, with a softening glance at the +little creature. + +'And if it's proud to have a heart that never hardens, and a temper +that never tires, and a touch that never hurts,' Miss Jenny struck in, +flushed, 'she is proud. And if it's not, she is NOT.' + +Her set purpose of contradicting Miss Abbey point blank, was so +far from offending that dread authority, as to elicit a gracious +smile. 'You do right, child,' said Miss Abbey, 'to speak well of +those who deserve well of you.' + +'Right or wrong,' muttered Miss Wren, inaudibly, with a visible +hitch of her chin, 'I mean to do it, and you may make up your mind +to THAT, old lady.' + +'Here is the paper, madam,' said the Jew, delivering into Miss +Potterson's hands the original document drawn up by Rokesmith, +and signed by Riderhood. 'Will you please to read it?' + +'But first of all,' said Miss Abbey, '-- did you ever taste shrub, +child?' + +Miss Wren shook her head. + +'Should you like to?' + +'Should if it's good,' returned Miss Wren. + +'You shall try. And, if you find it good, I'll mix some for you with +hot water. Put your poor little feet on the fender. It's a cold, cold +night, and the fog clings so.' As Miss Abbey helped her to turn her +chair, her loosened bonnet dropped on the floor. 'Why, what lovely +hair!' cried Miss Abbey. 'And enough to make wigs for all the +dolls in the world. What a quantity!' + +'Call THAT a quantity?' returned Miss Wren. 'Poof! What do you +say to the rest of it?' As she spoke, she untied a band, and the +golden stream fell over herself and over the chair, and flowed down +to the ground. Miss Abbey's admiration seemed to increase her +perplexity. She beckoned the Jew towards her, as she reached +down the shrub-bottle from its niche, and whispered: + +'Child, or woman?' + +'Child in years,' was the answer; 'woman in self-reliance and trial.' + +'You are talking about Me, good people,' thought Miss Jenny, +sitting in her golden bower, warming her feet. 'I can't hear what +you say, but I know your tricks and your manners!' + +The shrub, when tasted from a spoon, perfectly harmonizing with +Miss Jenny's palate, a judicious amount was mixed by Miss +Potterson's skilful hands, whereof Riah too partook. After this +preliminary, Miss Abbey read the document; and, as often as she +raised her eyebrows in so doing, the watchful Miss Jenny +accompanied the action with an expressive and emphatic sip of the +shrub and water. + +'As far as this goes,' said Miss Abbey Potterson, when she had +read it several times, and thought about it, 'it proves (what didn't +much need proving) that Rogue Riderhood is a villain. I have my +doubts whether he is not the villain who solely did the deed; but I +have no expectation of those doubts ever being cleared up now. I +believe I did Lizzie's father wrong, but never Lizzie's self; because +when things were at the worst I trusted her, had perfect confidence +in her, and tried to persuade her to come to me for a refuge. I am +very sorry to have done a man wrong, particularly when it can't be +undone. Be kind enough to let Lizzie know what I say; not +forgetting that if she will come to the Porters, after all, bygones +being bygones, she will find a home at the Porters, and a friend at +the Porters. She knows Miss Abbey of old, remind her, and she +knows what-like the home, and what-like the friend, is likely to +turn out. I am generally short and sweet--or short and sour, +according as it may be and as opinions vary--' remarked Miss +Abbey, 'and that's about all I have got to say, and enough too.' + +But before the shrub and water was sipped out, Miss Abbey +bethought herself that she would like to keep a copy of the paper +by her. 'It's not long, sir,' said she to Riah, 'and perhaps you +wouldn't mind just jotting it down.' The old man willingly put on +his spectacles, and, standing at the little desk in the corner where +Miss Abbey filed her receipts and kept her sample phials +(customers' scores were interdicted by the strict administration of +the Porters), wrote out the copy in a fair round character. As he +stood there, doing his methodical penmanship, his ancient +scribelike figure intent upon the work, and the little dolls' +dressmaker sitting in her golden bower before the fire, Miss Abbey +had her doubts whether she had not dreamed those two rare figures +into the bar of the Six Jolly Fellowships, and might not wake with +a nod next moment and find them gone. + +Miss Abbey had twice made the experiment of shutting her eyes +and opening them again, still finding the figures there, when, +dreamlike, a confused hubbub arose in the public room. As she +started up, and they all three looked at one another, it became a +noise of clamouring voices and of the stir of feet; then all the +windows were heard to be hastily thrown up, and shouts and cries +came floating into the house from the river. A moment more, and +Bob Gliddery came clattering along the passage, with the noise of +all the nails in his boots condensed into every separate nail. + +'What is it?' asked Miss Abbey. + +'It's summut run down in the fog, ma'am,' answered Bob. 'There's +ever so many people in the river.' + +'Tell 'em to put on all the kettles!' cried Miss Abbey. 'See that the +boiler's full. Get a bath out. Hang some blankets to the fire. Heat +some stone bottles. Have your senses about you, you girls down +stairs, and use 'em.' + +While Miss Abbey partly delivered these directions to Bob--whom +she seized by the hair, and whose head she knocked against the +wall, as a general injunction to vigilance and presence of mind-- +and partly hailed the kitchen with them--the company in the public +room, jostling one another, rushed out to the causeway, and the +outer noise increased. + +'Come and look,' said Miss Abbey to her visitors. They all three +hurried to the vacated public room, and passed by one of the +windows into the wooden verandah overhanging the river. + +'Does anybody down there know what has happened?' demanded +Miss Abbey, in her voice of authority. + +'It's a steamer, Miss Abbey,' cried one blurred figure in the fog. + +'It always IS a steamer, Miss Abbey,' cried another. + +'Them's her lights, Miss Abbey, wot you see a-blinking yonder,' +cried another. + +'She's a-blowing off her steam, Miss Abbey, and that's what makes +the fog and the noise worse, don't you see?' explained another. + +Boats were putting off, torches were lighting up, people were +rushing tumultuously to the water's edge. Some man fell in with a +splash, and was pulled out again with a roar of laughter. The +drags were called for. A cry for the life-buoy passed from mouth to +mouth. It was impossible to make out what was going on upon the +river, for every boat that put off sculled into the fog and was lost to +view at a boat's length. Nothing was clear but that the unpopular +steamer was assailed with reproaches on all sides. She was the +Murderer, bound for Gallows Bay; she was the Manslaughterer, +bound for Penal Settlement; her captain ought to be tried for his +life; her crew ran down men in row-boats with a relish; she +mashed up Thames lightermen with her paddles; she fired property +with her funnels; she always was, and she always would be, +wreaking destruction upon somebody or something, after the +manner of all her kind. The whole bulk of the fog teemed with +such taunts, uttered in tones of universal hoarseness. All the +while, the steamer's lights moved spectrally a very little, as she lay- +to, waiting the upshot of whatever accident had happened. Now, +she began burning blue-lights. These made a luminous patch +about her, as if she had set the fog on fire, and in the patch--the +cries changing their note, and becoming more fitful and more +excited--shadows of men and boats could be seen moving, while +voices shouted: 'There!' 'There again!' 'A couple more strokes a- +head!' 'Hurrah!' 'Look out!' 'Hold on!' 'Haul in!' and the like. Lastly, +with a few tumbling clots of blue fire, the night closed in dark +again, the wheels of the steamer were heard revolving, and her +lights glided smoothly away in the direction of the sea. + +It appeared to Miss Abbey and her two companions that a +considerable time had been thus occupied. There was now as +eager a set towards the shore beneath the house as there had been +from it; and it was only on the first boat of the rush coming in that +it was known what had occurred. + +'If that's Tom Tootle,' Miss Abbey made proclamation, in her most +commanding tones, 'let him instantly come underneath here.' + +The submissive Tom complied, attended by a crowd. + +'What is it, Tootle?' demanded Miss Abbey. + +'It's a foreign steamer, miss, run down a wherry.' + +'How many in the wherry?' + +'One man, Miss Abbey.' + +'Found?' + +'Yes. He's been under water a long time, Miss; but they've +grappled up the body.' + +'Let 'em bring it here. You, Bob Gliddery, shut the house-door and +stand by it on the inside, and don't you open till I tell you. Any +police down there?' + +'Here, Miss Abbey,' was official rejoinder. + +'After they have brought the body in, keep the crowd out, will you? +And help Bob Gliddery to shut 'em out.' + +'All right, Miss Abbey.' + +The autocratic landlady withdrew into the house with Riah and +Miss Jenny, and disposed those forces, one on either side of her, +within the half-door of the bar, as behind a breastwork. + +'You two stand close here,' said Miss Abbey, 'and you'll come to no +hurt, and see it brought in. Bob, you stand by the door.' + +That sentinel, smartly giving his rolled shirt-sleeves an extra and a +final tuck on his shoulders, obeyed. + +Sound of advancing voices, sound of advancing steps. Shuffle and +talk without. Momentary pause. Two peculiarly blunt knocks or +pokes at the door, as if the dead man arriving on his back were +striking at it with the soles of his motionless feet. + +'That's the stretcher, or the shutter, whichever of the two they are +carrying,' said Miss Abbey, with experienced ear. 'Open, you Bob!' + +Door opened. Heavy tread of laden men. A halt. A rush. +Stoppage of rush. Door shut. Baffled boots from the vexed souls +of disappointed outsiders. + +'Come on, men!' said Miss Abbey; for so potent was she with her +subjects that even then the bearers awaited her permission. 'First +floor.' + +The entry being low, and the staircase being low, they so took up +the burden they had set down, as to carry that low. The recumbent +figure, in passing, lay hardly as high as the half door. + +Miss Abbey started back at sight of it. 'Why, good God!' said she, +turning to her two companions, 'that's the very man who made the +declaration we have just had in our hands. That's Riderhood!' + + + +Chapter 3 + +THE SAME RESPECTED FRIEND IN MORE ASPECTS THAN ONE + + +In sooth, it is Riderhood and no other, or it is the outer husk and +shell of Riderhood and no other, that is borne into Miss Abbey's +first-floor bedroom. Supple to twist and turn as the Rogue has ever +been, he is sufficiently rigid now; and not without much shuffling +of attendant feet, and tilting of his bier this way and that way, and +peril even of his sliding off it and being tumbled in a heap over the +balustrades, can he be got up stairs. + +'Fetch a doctor,' quoth Miss Abbey. And then, 'Fetch his daughter.' +On both of which errands, quick messengers depart. + +The doctor-seeking messenger meets the doctor halfway, coming +under convoy of police. Doctor examines the dank carcase, and +pronounces, not hopefully, that it is worth while trying to +reanimate the same. All the best means are at once in action, and +everybody present lends a hand, and a heart and soul. No one has +the least regard for the man; with them all, he has been an object of +avoidance, suspicion, and aversion; but the spark of life within him +is curiously separable from himself now, and they have a deep +interest in it, probably because it IS life, and they are living and +must die. + +In answer to the doctor's inquiry how did it happen, and was +anyone to blame, Tom Tootle gives in his verdict, unavoidable +accident and no one to blame but the sufferer. 'He was slinking +about in his boat,' says Tom, 'which slinking were, not to speak ill +of the dead, the manner of the man, when he come right athwart +the steamer's bows and she cut him in two.' Mr Tootle is so far +figurative, touching the dismemberment, as that he means the boat, +and not the man. For, the man lies whole before them. + +Captain Joey, the bottle-nosed regular customer in the glazed hat, +is a pupil of the much-respected old school, and (having insinuated +himself into the chamber, in the execution of the important service +of carrying the drowned man's neck-kerchief) favours the doctor +with a sagacious old-scholastic suggestion that the body should be +hung up by the heels, 'sim'lar', says Captain Joey, 'to mutton in a +butcher's shop,' and should then, as a particularly choice +manoeuvre for promoting easy respiration, be rolled upon casks. +These scraps of the wisdom of the captain's ancestors are received +with such speechless indignation by Miss Abbey, that she instantly +seizes the Captain by the collar, and without a single word ejects +him, not presuming to remonstrate, from the scene. + +There then remain, to assist the doctor and Tom, only those three +other regular customers, Bob Glamour, William Williams, and +Jonathan (family name of the latter, if any, unknown to man-kind), +who are quite enough. Miss Abbey having looked in to make sure +that nothing is wanted, descends to the bar, and there awaits the +result, with the gentle Jew and Miss Jenny Wren. + +If you are not gone for good, Mr Riderhood, it would be something +to know where you are hiding at present. This flabby lump of +mortality that we work so hard at with such patient perseverance, +yields no sign of you. If you are gone for good, Rogue, it is very +solemn, and if you are coming back, it is hardly less so. Nay, in +the suspense and mystery of the latter question, involving that of +where you may be now, there is a solemnity even added to that of +death, making us who are in attendance alike afraid to look on you +and to look off you, and making those below start at the least +sound of a creaking plank in the floor. + +Stay! Did that eyelid tremble? So the doctor, breathing low, and +closely watching, asks himself. + +No. + +Did that nostril twitch? + +No. + +This artificial respiration ceasing, do I feel any faint flutter under +my hand upon the chest? + +No. + +Over and over again No. No. But try over and over again, +nevertheless. + +See! A token of life! An indubitable token of life! The spark may +smoulder and go out, or it may glow and expand, but see! The four +rough fellows, seeing, shed tears. Neither Riderhood in this world, +nor Riderhood in the other, could draw tears from them; but a +striving human soul between the two can do it easily. + +He is struggling to come back. Now, he is almost here, now he is +far away again. Now he is struggling harder to get back. And yet-- +like us all, when we swoon--like us all, every day of our lives +when we wake--he is instinctively unwilling to be restored to the +consciousness of this existence, and would be left dormant, if he +could. + +Bob Gliddery returns with Pleasant Riderhood, who was out when +sought for, and hard to find. She has a shawl over her head, and +her first action, when she takes it off weeping, and curtseys to Miss +Abbey, is to wind her hair up. + +'Thank you, Miss Abbey, for having father here.' + +'I am bound to say, girl, I didn't know who it was,' returns Miss +Abbey; 'but I hope it would have been pretty much the same if I +had known.' + +Poor Pleasant, fortified with a sip of brandy, is ushered into the +first-floor chamber. She could not express much sentiment about +her father if she were called upon to pronounce his funeral oration, +but she has a greater tenderness for him than he ever had for her, +and crying bitterly when she sees him stretched unconscious, asks +the doctor, with clasped hands: 'Is there no hope, sir? O poor +father! Is poor father dead?' + +To which the doctor, on one knee beside the body, busy and +watchful, only rejoins without looking round: 'Now, my girl, unless +you have the self-command to be perfectly quiet, I cannot allow +you to remain in the room.' + +Pleasant, consequently, wipes her eyes with her back-hair, which is +in fresh need of being wound up, and having got it out of the way, +watches with terrified interest all that goes on. Her natural +woman's aptitude soon renders her able to give a little help. +Anticipating the doctor's want of this or that, she quietly has it +ready for him, and so by degrees is intrusted with the charge of +supporting her father's head upon her arm. + +It is something so new to Pleasant to see her father an object of +sympathy and interest, to find any one very willing to tolerate his +society in this world, not to say pressingly and soothingly +entreating him to belong to it, that it gives her a sensation she +never experienced before. Some hazy idea that if affairs could +remain thus for a long time it would be a respectable change, floats +in her mind. Also some vague idea that the old evil is drowned out +of him, and that if he should happily come back to resume his +occupation of the empty form that lies upon the bed, his spirit will +be altered. In which state of mind she kisses the stony lips, and +quite believes that the impassive hand she chafes will revive a +tender hand, if it revive ever. + +Sweet delusion for Pleasant Riderhood. But they minister to him +with such extraordinary interest, their anxiety is so keen, their +vigilance is so great, their excited joy grows so intense as the signs +of life strengthen, that how can she resist it, poor thing! And now +he begins to breathe naturally, and he stirs, and the doctor declares +him to have come back from that inexplicable journey where he +stopped on the dark road, and to be here. + +Tom Tootle, who is nearest to the doctor when he says this, grasps +the doctor fervently by the hand. Bob Glamour, William Williams, +and Jonathan of the no surname, all shake hands with one another +round, and with the doctor too. Bob Glamour blows his nose, and +Jonathan of the no surname is moved to do likewise, but lacking a +pocket handkerchief abandons that outlet for his emotion. Pleasant +sheds tears deserving her own name, and her sweet delusion is at +its height. + +There is intelligence in his eyes. He wants to ask a question. He +wonders where he is. Tell him. + +'Father, you were run down on the river, and are at Miss Abbey +Potterson's.' + +He stares at his daughter, stares all around him, closes his eyes, +and lies slumbering on her arm. + +The short-lived delusion begins to fade. The low, bad, +unimpressible face is coming up from the depths of the river, or +what other depths, to the surface again. As he grows warm, the +doctor and the four men cool. As his lineaments soften with life, +their faces and their hearts harden to him. + +'He will do now,' says the doctor, washing his hands, and looking +at the patient with growing disfavour. + +'Many a better man,' moralizes Tom Tootle with a gloomy shake of +the head, 'ain't had his luck.' + +'It's to be hoped he'll make a better use of his life,' says Bob +Glamour, 'than I expect he will.' + +'Or than he done afore,' adds William Williams. + +'But no, not he!' says Jonathan of the no surname, clinching the +quartette. + +They speak in a low tone because of his daughter, but she sees that +they have all drawn off, and that they stand in a group at the other +end of the room, shunning him. It would be too much to suspect +them of being sorry that he didn't die when he had done so much +towards it, but they clearly wish that they had had a better subject +to bestow their pains on. Intelligence is conveyed to Miss Abbey +in the bar, who reappears on the scene, and contemplates from a +distance, holding whispered discourse with the doctor. The spark +of life was deeply interesting while it was in abeyance, but now +that it has got established in Mr Riderhood, there appears to be a +general desire that circumstances had admitted of its being +developed in anybody else, rather than that gentleman. + +'However,' says Miss Abbey, cheering them up, 'you have done +your duty like good and true men, and you had better come down +and take something at the expense of the Porters.' + +This they all do, leaving the daughter watching the father. To +whom, in their absence, Bob Gliddery presents himself. + +'His gills looks rum; don't they?' says Bob, after inspecting the +patient. + +Pleasant faintly nods. + +'His gills'll look rummer when he wakes; won't they?' says Bob. + +Pleasant hopes not. Why? + +'When he finds himself here, you know,' Bob explains. 'Cause +Miss Abbey forbid him the house and ordered him out of it. But +what you may call the Fates ordered him into it again. Which is +rumness; ain't it?' + +'He wouldn't have come here of his own accord,' returns poor +Pleasant, with an effort at a little pride. + +'No,' retorts Bob. 'Nor he wouldn't have been let in, if he had.' + +The short delusion is quite dispelled now. As plainly as she sees +on her arm the old father, unimproved, Pleasant sees that +everybody there will cut him when he recovers consciousness. 'I'll +take him away ever so soon as I can,' thinks Pleasant with a sigh; +'he's best at home.' + +Presently they all return, and wait for him to become conscious that +they will all be glad to get rid of him. Some clothes are got +together for him to wear, his own being saturated with water, and +his present dress being composed of blankets. + +Becoming more and more uncomfortable, as though the prevalent +dislike were finding him out somewhere in his sleep and +expressing itself to him, the patient at last opens his eyes wide, and +is assisted by his daughter to sit up in bed. + +'Well, Riderhood,' says the doctor, 'how do you feel?' + +He replies gruffly, 'Nothing to boast on.' Having, in fact, returned +to life in an uncommonly sulky state. + +'I don't mean to preach; but I hope,' says the doctor, gravely +shaking his head, 'that this escape may have a good effect upon +you, Riderhood.' + +The patient's discontented growl of a reply is not intelligible; his +daughter, however, could interpret, if she would, that what he says +is, he 'don't want no Poll-Parroting'. + +Mr Riderhood next demands his shirt; and draws it on over his +head (with his daughter's help) exactly as if he had just had a +Fight. + +'Warn't it a steamer?' he pauses to ask her. + +'Yes, father.' + +'I'll have the law on her, bust her! and make her pay for it.' + +He then buttons his linen very moodily, twice or thrice stopping to +examine his arms and hands, as if to see what punishment he has +received in the Fight. He then doggedly demands his other +garments, and slowly gets them on, with an appearance of great +malevolence towards his late opponent and all the spectators. He +has an impression that his nose is bleeding, and several times +draws the back of his hand across it, and looks for the result, in a +pugilistic manner, greatly strengthening that incongruous +resemblance. + +'Where's my fur cap?' he asks in a surly voice, when he has +shuffled his clothes on. + +'In the river,' somebody rejoins. + +'And warn't there no honest man to pick it up? O' course there was +though, and to cut off with it arterwards. You are a rare lot, all on +you!' + +Thus, Mr Riderhood: taking from the hands of his daughter, with +special ill-will, a lent cap, and grumbling as he pulls it down over +his ears. Then, getting on his unsteady legs, leaning heavily upon +her, and growling, 'Hold still, can't you? What! You must be a +staggering next, must you?' he takes his departure out of the ring in +which he has had that little turn-up with Death. + + + +Chapter 4 + +A HAPPY RETURN OF THE DAY + + +Mr and Mrs Wilfer had seen a full quarter of a hundred more +anniversaries of their wedding day than Mr and Mrs Lammle had +seen of theirs, but they still celebrated the occasion in the bosom of +their family. Not that these celebrations ever resulted in anything +particularly agreeable, or that the family was ever disappointed by +that circumstance on account of having looked forward to the +return of the auspicious day with sanguine anticipations of +enjoyment. It was kept morally, rather as a Fast than a Feast, +enabling Mrs Wilfer to hold a sombre darkling state, which +exhibited that impressive woman in her choicest colours. + +The noble lady's condition on these delightful occasions was one +compounded of heroic endurance and heroic forgiveness. Lurid +indications of the better marriages she might have made, shone +athwart the awful gloom of her composure, and fitfully revealed the +cherub as a little monster unaccountably favoured by Heaven, who +had possessed himself of a blessing for which many of his +superiors had sued and contended in vain. So firmly had this his +position towards his treasure become established, that when the +anniversary arrived, it always found him in an apologetic state. It +is not impossible that his modest penitence may have even gone +the length of sometimes severely reproving him for that he ever +took the liberty of making so exalted a character his wife. + +As for the children of the union, their experience of these festivals +had been sufficiently uncomfortable to lead them annually to wish, +when out of their tenderest years, either that Ma had married +somebody else instead of much-teased Pa, or that Pa had married +somebody else instead of Ma. When there came to be but two +sisters left at home, the daring mind of Bella on the next of these +occasions scaled the height of wondering with droll vexation 'what +on earth Pa ever could have seen in Ma, to induce him to make +such a little fool of himself as to ask her to have him.' + +The revolving year now bringing the day round in its orderly +sequence, Bella arrived in the Boffin chariot to assist at the +celebration. It was the family custom when the day recurred, to +sacrifice a pair of fowls on the altar of Hymen; and Bella had sent a +note beforehand, to intimate that she would bring the votive +offering with her. So, Bella and the fowls, by the united energies +of two horses, two men, four wheels, and a plum-pudding carriage +dog with as uncomfortable a collar on as if he had been George the +Fourth, were deposited at the door of the parental dwelling. They +were there received by Mrs Wilfer in person, whose dignity on this, +as on most special occasions, was heightened by a mysterious +toothache. + +'I shall not require the carriage at night,' said Bella. 'I shall walk +back.' + +The male domestic of Mrs Boffin touched his hat, and in the act of +departure had an awful glare bestowed upon him by Mrs Wilfer, +intended to carry deep into his audacious soul the assurance that, +whatever his private suspicions might be, male domestics in livery +were no rarity there. + +'Well, dear Ma,' said Bella, 'and how do you do?' + +'I am as well, Bella,' replied Mrs Wilfer, 'as can be expected.' + +'Dear me, Ma,' said Bella; 'you talk as if one was just born!' + +'That's exactly what Ma has been doing,' interposed Lavvy, over +the maternal shoulder, 'ever since we got up this morning. It's all +very well to laugh, Bella, but anything more exasperating it is +impossible to conceive.' + +Mrs Wilfer, with a look too full of majesty to be accompanied by +any words, attended both her daughters to the kitchen, where the +sacrifice was to be prepared. + +'Mr Rokesmith,' said she, resignedly, 'has been so polite as to place +his sitting-room at our disposal to-day. You will therefore, Bella, +be entertained in the humble abode of your parents, so far in +accordance with your present style of living, that there will be a +drawing-room for your reception as well as a dining-room. Your +papa invited Mr Rokesmith to partake of our lowly fare. In +excusing himself on account of a particular engagement, he offered +the use of his apartment.' + +Bella happened to know that he had no engagement out of his own +room at Mr Boffin's, but she approved of his staying away. 'We +should only have put one another out of countenance,' she thought, +'and we do that quite often enough as it is.' + +Yet she had sufficient curiosity about his room, to run up to it with +the least possible delay, and make a close inspection of its +contents. It was tastefully though economically furnished, and +very neatly arranged. There were shelves and stands of books, +English, French, and Italian; and in a portfolio on the writing-table +there were sheets upon sheets of memoranda and calculations in +figures, evidently referring to the Boffin property. On that table +also, carefully backed with canvas, varnished, mounted, and rolled +like a map, was the placard descriptive of the murdered man who +had come from afar to be her husband. She shrank from this +ghostly surprise, and felt quite frightened as she rolled and tied it +up again. Peeping about here and there, she came upon a print, a +graceful head of a pretty woman, elegantly framed, hanging in the +corner by the easy chair. 'Oh, indeed, sir!' said Bella, after +stopping to ruminate before it. 'Oh, indeed, sir! I fancy I can guess +whom you think THAT'S like. But I'll tell you what it's much +more like--your impudence!' Having said which she decamped: +not solely because she was offended, but because there was +nothing else to look at. + +'Now, Ma,' said Bella, reappearing in the kitchen with some +remains of a blush, 'you and Lavvy think magnificent me fit for +nothing, but I intend to prove the contrary. I mean to be Cook +today.' + +'Hold!' rejoined her majestic mother. 'I cannot permit it. Cook, in +that dress!' + +'As for my dress, Ma,' returned Bella, merrily searching in a +dresser-drawer, 'I mean to apron it and towel it all over the front; +and as to permission, I mean to do without.' + +'YOU cook?' said Mrs Wilfer. 'YOU, who never cooked when you +were at home?' + +'Yes, Ma,' returned Bella; 'that is precisely the state of the case.' + +She girded herself with a white apron, and busily with knots and +pins contrived a bib to it, coming close and tight under her chin, as +if it had caught her round the neck to kiss her. Over this bib her +dimples looked delightful, and under it her pretty figure not less so. +'Now, Ma,' said Bella, pushing back her hair from her temples +with both hands, 'what's first?' + +'First,' returned Mrs Wilfer solemnly, 'if you persist in what I +cannot but regard as conduct utterly incompatible with the +equipage in which you arrived--' + +('Which I do, Ma.') + +'First, then, you put the fowls down to the fire.' + +'To--be--sure!' cried Bella; 'and flour them, and twirl them round, +and there they go!' sending them spinning at a great rate. 'What's +next, Ma?' + +'Next,' said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of +abdication under protest from the culinary throne, 'I would +recommend examination of the bacon in the saucepan on the fire, +and also of the potatoes by the application of a fork. Preparation of +the greens will further become necessary if you persist in this +unseemly demeanour.' + +'As of course I do, Ma.' + +Persisting, Bella gave her attention to one thing and forgot the +other, and gave her attention to the other and forgot the third, and +remembering the third was distracted by the fourth, and made +amends whenever she went wrong by giving the unfortunate fowls +an extra spin, which made their chance of ever getting cooked +exceedingly doubtful. But it was pleasant cookery too. Meantime +Miss Lavinia, oscillating between the kitchen and the opposite +room, prepared the dining-table in the latter chamber. This office +she (always doing her household spiriting with unwillingness) +performed in a startling series of whisks and bumps; laying the +table-cloth as if she were raising the wind, putting down the +glasses and salt-cellars as if she were knocking at the door, and +clashing the knives and forks in a skirmishing manner suggestive +of hand-to-hand conflict. + +'Look at Ma,' whispered Lavinia to Bella when this was done, and +they stood over the roasting fowls. 'If one was the most dutiful +child in existence (of course on the whole one hopes one is), isn't +she enough to make one want to poke her with something wooden, +sitting there bolt upright in a corner?' + +'Only suppose,' returned Bella, 'that poor Pa was to sit bolt upright +in another corner.' + +'My dear, he couldn't do it,' said Lavvy. 'Pa would loll directly. +But indeed I do not believe there ever was any human creature who +could keep so bolt upright as Ma, 'or put such an amount of +aggravation into one back! What's the matter, Ma? Ain't you well, +Ma?' + +'Doubtless I am very well,' returned Mrs Wilfer, turning her eyes +upon her youngest born, with scornful fortitude. 'What should be +the matter with Me?' + +'You don't seem very brisk, Ma,' retorted Lavvy the bold. + +'Brisk?' repeated her parent, 'Brisk? Whence the low expression, +Lavinia? If I am uncomplaining, if I am silently contented with my +lot, let that suffice for my family.' + +'Well, Ma,' returned Lavvy, 'since you will force it out of me, I +must respectfully take leave to say that your family are no doubt +under the greatest obligations to you for having an annual +toothache on your wedding day, and that it's very disinterested in +you, and an immense blessing to them. Still, on the whole, it is +possible to be too boastful even of that boon.' + +'You incarnation of sauciness,' said Mrs Wilfer, 'do you speak like +that to me? On this day, of all days in the year? Pray do you know +what would have become of you, if I had not bestowed my hand +upon R. W., your father, on this day?' + +'No, Ma,' replied Lavvy, 'I really do not; and, with the greatest +respect for your abilities and information, I very much doubt if you +do either.' + +Whether or no the sharp vigour of this sally on a weak point of Mrs +Wilfer's entrenchments might have routed that heroine for the time, +is rendered uncertain by the arrival of a flag of truce in the person +of Mr George Sampson: bidden to the feast as a friend of the +family, whose affections were now understood to be in course of +transference from Bella to Lavinia, and whom Lavinia kept-- +possibly in remembrance of his bad taste in having overlooked her +in the first instance--under a course of stinging discipline. + +'I congratulate you, Mrs Wilfer,' said Mr George Sampson, who +had meditated this neat address while coming along, 'on the day.' +Mrs Wilfer thanked him with a magnanimous sigh, and again +became an unresisting prey to that inscrutable toothache. + +'I am surprised,' said Mr Sampson feebly, 'that Miss Bella +condescends to cook.' + +Here Miss Lavinia descended on the ill-starred young gentleman +with a crushing supposition that at all events it was no business of +his. This disposed of Mr Sampson in a melancholy retirement of +spirit, until the cherub arrived, whose amazement at the lovely +woman's occupation was great. + +However, she persisted in dishing the dinner as well as cooking it, +and then sat down, bibless and apronless, to partake of it as an +illustrious guest: Mrs Wilfer first responding to her husband's +cheerful 'For what we are about to receive--'with a sepulchral +Amen, calculated to cast a damp upon the stoutest appetite. + +'But what,' said Bella, as she watched the carving of the fowls, +'makes them pink inside, I wonder, Pa! Is it the breed?' + +'No, I don't think it's the breed, my dear,' returned Pa. 'I rather +think it is because they are not done.' + +'They ought to be,' said Bella. + +'Yes, I am aware they ought to be, my dear,' rejoined her father, +'but they--ain't.' + +So, the gridiron was put in requisition, and the good-tempered +cherub, who was often as un-cherubically employed in his own +family as if he had been in the employment of some of the Old +Masters, undertook to grill the fowls. Indeed, except in respect of +staring about him (a branch of the public service to which the +pictorial cherub is much addicted), this domestic cherub +discharged as many odd functions as his prototype; with the +difference, say, that he performed with a blacking-brush on the +family's boots, instead of performing on enormous wind +instruments and double-basses, and that he conducted himself with +cheerful alacrity to much useful purpose, instead of foreshortening +himself in the air with the vaguest intentions. + +Bella helped him with his supplemental cookery, and made him +very happy, but put him in mortal terror too by asking him when +they sat down at table again, how he supposed they cooked fowls +at the Greenwich dinners, and whether he believed they really were +such pleasant dinners as people said? His secret winks and nods +of remonstrance, in reply, made the mischievous Bella laugh until +she choked, and then Lavinia was obliged to slap her on the back, +and then she laughed the more. + +But her mother was a fine corrective at the other end of the table; to +whom her father, in the innocence of his good-fellowship, at +intervals appealed with: 'My dear, I am afraid you are not enjoying +yourself?' + +'Why so, R. W.?' she would sonorously reply. + +'Because, my dear, you seem a little out of sorts.' + +'Not at all,' would be the rejoinder, in exactly the same tone. + +'Would you take a merry-thought, my dear?' + +'Thank you. I will take whatever you please, R. W.' + +'Well, but my dear, do you like it?' + +'I like it as well as I like anything, R. W.' The stately woman +would then, with a meritorious appearance of devoting herself to +the general good, pursue her dinner as if she were feeding +somebody else on high public grounds. + +Bella had brought dessert and two bottles of wine, thus shedding +unprecedented splendour on the occasion. Mrs Wilfer did the +honours of the first glass by proclaiming: 'R. W. I drink to you. + +'Thank you, my dear. And I to you.' + +'Pa and Ma!' said Bella. + +'Permit me,' Mrs Wilfer interposed, with outstretched glove. 'No. I +think not. I drank to your papa. If, however, you insist on +including me, I can in gratitude offer no objection.' + +'Why, Lor, Ma,' interposed Lavvy the bold, 'isn't it the day that +made you and Pa one and the same? I have no patience!' + +'By whatever other circumstance the day may be marked, it is not +the day, Lavinia, on which I will allow a child of mine to pounce +upon me. I beg--nay, command!--that you will not pounce. R. W., +it is appropriate to recall that it is for you to command and for me +to obey. It is your house, and you are master at your own table. +Both our healths!' Drinking the toast with tremendous stiffness. + +'I really am a little afraid, my dear,' hinted the cherub meekly, 'that +you are not enjoying yourself?' + +'On the contrary,' returned Mrs Wilfer, 'quite so. Why should I +not?' + +'I thought, my dear, that perhaps your face might--' + +'My face might be a martyrdom, but what would that import, or +who should know it, if I smiled?' + +And she did smile; manifestly freezing the blood of Mr George +Sampson by so doing. For that young gentleman, catching her +smiling eye, was so very much appalled by its expression as to cast +about in his thoughts concerning what he had done to bring it +down upon himself. + +'The mind naturally falls,' said Mrs Wilfer, 'shall I say into a +reverie, or shall I say into a retrospect? on a day like this.' + +Lavvy, sitting with defiantly folded arms, replied (but not audibly), +'For goodness' sake say whichever of the two you like best, Ma, +and get it over.' + +'The mind,' pursued Mrs Wilfer in an oratorical manner, 'naturally +reverts to Papa and Mamma--I here allude to my parents--at a +period before the earliest dawn of this day. I was considered tall; +perhaps I was. Papa and Mamma were unquestionably tall. I have +rarely seen a finer women than my mother; never than my father.' + +The irrepressible Lavvy remarked aloud, 'Whatever grandpapa +was, he wasn't a female.' + +'Your grandpapa,' retorted Mrs Wilfer, with an awful look, and in +an awful tone, 'was what I describe him to have been, and would +have struck any of his grandchildren to the earth who presumed to +question it. It was one of mamma's cherished hopes that I should +become united to a tall member of society. It may have been a +weakness, but if so, it was equally the weakness, I believe, of King +Frederick of Prussia.' These remarks being offered to Mr George +Sampson, who had not the courage to come out for single combat, +but lurked with his chest under the table and his eyes cast down, +Mrs Wilfer proceeded, in a voice of increasing sternness and +impressiveness, until she should force that skulker to give himself +up. 'Mamma would appear to have had an indefinable foreboding +of what afterwards happened, for she would frequently urge upon +me, "Not a little man. Promise me, my child, not a little man. +Never, never, never, marry a little man!" Papa also would remark +to me (he possessed extraordinary humour), "that a family of +whales must not ally themselves with sprats." His company was +eagerly sought, as may be supposed, by the wits of the day, and our +house was their continual resort. I have known as many as three +copper-plate engravers exchanging the most exquisite sallies and +retorts there, at one time.' (Here Mr Sampson delivered himself +captive, and said, with an uneasy movement on his chair, that three +was a large number, and it must have been highly entertaining.) +'Among the most prominent members of that distinguished circle, +was a gentleman measuring six feet four in height. HE was NOT +an engraver.' (Here Mr Sampson said, with no reason whatever, +Of course not.) 'This gentleman was so obliging as to honour me +with attentions which I could not fail to understand.' (Here Mr +Sampson murmured that when it came to that, you could always +tell.) 'I immediately announced to both my parents that those +attentions were misplaced, and that I could not favour his suit. +They inquired was he too tall? I replied it was not the stature, but +the intellect was too lofty. At our house, I said, the tone was too +brilliant, the pressure was too high, to be maintained by me, a mere +woman, in every-day domestic life. I well remember mamma's +clasping her hands, and exclaiming "This will end in a little man!"' +(Here Mr Sampson glanced at his host and shook his head with +despondency.) 'She afterwards went so far as to predict that it +would end in a little man whose mind would be below the average, +but that was in what I may denominate a paroxysm of maternal +disappointment. Within a month,' said Mrs Wilfer, deepening her +voice, as if she were relating a terrible ghost story, 'within a-month, +I first saw R. W. my husband. Within a year, I married him. It is +natural for the mind to recall these dark coincidences on the +present day.' + +Mr Sampson at length released from the custody of Mrs Wilfer's +eye, now drew a long breath, and made the original and striking +remark that there was no accounting for these sort of +presentiments. R. W. scratched his head and looked apologetically +all round the table until he came to his wife, when observing her as +it were shrouded in a more sombre veil than before, he once more +hinted, 'My dear, I am really afraid you are not altogether enjoying +yourself?' To which she once more replied, 'On the contrary, R. W. +Quite so.' + +The wretched Mr Sampson's position at this agreeable entertainment +was truly pitiable. For, not only was he exposed defenceless +to the harangues of Mrs Wilfer, but he received the utmost +contumely at the hands of Lavinia; who, partly to show Bella that +she (Lavinia) could do what she liked with him, and partly to pay +him off for still obviously admiring Bella's beauty, led him +the life of a dog. Illuminated on the one hand by the stately +graces of Mrs Wilfer's oratory, and shadowed on the other by the +checks and frowns of the young lady to whom he had devoted +himself in his destitution, the sufferings of this young gentleman +were distressing to witness. If his mind for the moment reeled +under them, it may be urged, in extenuation of its weakness, that it +was constitutionally a knock-knee'd mind and never very strong +upon its legs. + +The rosy hours were thus beguiled until it was time for Bella to +have Pa's escort back. The dimples duly tied up in the bonnet- +strings and the leave-taking done, they got out into the air, and the +cherub drew a long breath as if he found it refreshing. + +'Well, dear Pa,' said Bella, 'the anniversary may be considered +over.' + +'Yes, my dear,' returned the cherub, 'there's another of 'em gone.' + +Bella drew his arm closer through hers as they walked along, and +gave it a number of consolatory pats. 'Thank you, my dear,' he +said, as if she had spoken; 'I am all right, my dear. Well, and how +do you get on, Bella?' + +'I am not at all improved, Pa.' + +'Ain't you really though?' + +'No, Pa. On the contrary, I am worse.' + +'Lor!' said the cherub. + +'I am worse, Pa. I make so many calculations how much a year I +must have when I marry, and what is the least I can manage to do +with, that I am beginning to get wrinkles over my nose. Did you +notice any wrinkles over my nose this evening, Pa?' + +Pa laughing at this, Bella gave him two or three shakes. + +'You won't laugh, sir, when you see your lovely woman turning +haggard. You had better be prepared in time, I can tell you. I shall +not be able to keep my greediness for money out of my eyes long, +and when you see it there you'll be sorry, and serve you right for +not being warned in time. Now, sir, we entered into a bond of +confidence. Have you anything to impart?' + +'I thought it was you who was to impart, my love.' + +'Oh! did you indeed, sir? Then why didn't you ask me, the moment +we came out? The confidences of lovely women are not to be +slighted. However, I forgive you this once, and look here, Pa; +that's'--Bella laid the little forefinger of her right glove on her lip, +and then laid it on her father's lip--'that's a kiss for you. And now I +am going seriously to tell you--let me see how many--four secrets. +Mind! Serious, grave, weighty secrets. Strictly between +ourselves.' + +'Number one, my dear?' said her father, settling her arm +comfortably and confidentially. + +'Number one,' said Bella, 'will electrify you, Pa. Who do you think +has'--she was confused here in spite of her merry way of beginning +'has made an offer to me?' + +Pa looked in her face, and looked at the ground, and looked in her +face again, and declared he could never guess. + +'Mr Rokesmith.' + +'You don't tell me so, my dear!' + +'Mis--ter Roke--smith, Pa,' said Bella separating the syllables for +emphasis. 'What do you say to THAT?' + +Pa answered quietly with the counter-question, 'What did YOU say +to that, my love?' + +'I said No,' returned Bella sharply. 'Of course.' + +'Yes. Of course,' said her father, meditating. + +'And I told him why I thought it a betrayal of trust on his part, and +an affront to me,' said Bella. + +'Yes. To be sure. I am astonished indeed. I wonder he committed +himself without seeing more of his way first. Now I think of it, I +suspect he always has admired you though, my dear.' + +'A hackney coachman may admire me,' remarked Bella, with a +touch of her mother's loftiness. + +'It's highly probable, my love. Number two, my dear?' + +'Number two, Pa, is much to the same purpose, though not so +preposterous. Mr Lightwood would propose to me, if I would let +him.' + +'Then I understand, my dear, that you don't intend to let him?' + +Bella again saying, with her former emphasis, 'Why, of course not!' +her father felt himself bound to echo, 'Of course not.' + +'I don't care for him,' said Bella. + +'That's enough,' her father interposed. + +'No, Pa, it's NOT enough,' rejoined Bella, giving him another +shake or two. 'Haven't I told you what a mercenary little wretch I +am? It only becomes enough when he has no money, and no +clients, and no expectations, and no anything but debts.' + +'Hah!' said the cherub, a little depressed. 'Number three, my dear?' + +'Number three, Pa, is a better thing. A generous thing, a noble +thing, a delightful thing. Mrs Boffin has herself told me, as a +secret, with her own kind lips--and truer lips never opened or +closed in this life, I am sure--that they wish to see me well +married; and that when I marry with their consent they will portion +me most handsomely.' Here the grateful girl burst out crying very +heartily. + +'Don't cry, my darling,' said her father, with his hand to his eyes; +'it's excusable in me to be a little overcome when I find that my +dear favourite child is, after all disappointments, to be so provided +for and so raised in the world; but don't YOU cry, don't YOU cry. +I am very thankful. I congratulate you with all my heart, my dear.' +The good soft little fellow, drying his eyes, here, Bella put her arms +round his neck and tenderly kissed him on the high road, +passionately telling him he was the best of fathers and the best of +friends, and that on her wedding-morning she would go down on +her knees to him and beg his pardon for having ever teased him or +seemed insensible to the worth of such a patient, sympathetic, +genial, fresh young heart. At every one of her adjectives she +redoubled her kisses, and finally kissed his hat off, and then +laughed immoderately when the wind took it and he ran after it. + +When he had recovered his hat and his breath, and they were going +on again once more, said her father then: 'Number four, my dear?' + +Bella's countenance fell in the midst of her mirth. 'After all, +perhaps I had better put off number four, Pa. Let me try once +more, if for never so short a time, to hope that it may not really be +so.' + +The change in her, strengthened the cherub's interest in number +four, and he said quietly: 'May not be so, my dear? May not be +how, my dear?' + +Bella looked at him pensively, and shook her head. + +'And yet I know right well it is so, Pa. I know it only too well.' + +'My love,' returned her father, 'you make me quite uncomfortable. +Have you said No to anybody else, my dear?' + +'No, Pa.' + +'Yes to anybody?' he suggested, lifting up his eyebrows. + +'No, Pa.' + +'Is there anybody else who would take his chance between Yes and +No, if you would let him, my dear?' + +'Not that I know of, Pa.' + +'There can't be somebody who won't take his chance when you +want him to?' said the cherub, as a last resource. + +'Why, of course not, Pa, said Bella, giving him another shake or +two. + +'No, of course not,' he assented. 'Bella, my dear, I am afraid I must +either have no sleep to-night, or I must press for number four.' + +'Oh, Pa, there is no good in number four! I am so sorry for it, I am +so unwilling to believe it, I have tried so earnestly not to see it, that +it is very hard to tell, even to you. But Mr Boffin is being spoilt by +prosperity, and is changing every day.' + +'My dear Bella, I hope and trust not.' + +'I have hoped and trusted not too, Pa; but every day he changes for +the worse, and for the worse. Not to me--he is always much the +same to me--but to others about him. Before my eyes he grows +suspicious, capricious, hard, tyrannical, unjust. If ever a good man +were ruined by good fortune, it is my benefactor. And yet, Pa, +think how terrible the fascination of money is! I see this, and hate +this, and dread this, and don't know but that money might make a +much worse change in me. And yet I have money always in my +thoughts and my desires; and the whole life I place before myself is +money, money, money, and what money can make of life!' + + + +Chapter 5 + +THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN FALLS INTO BAD COMPANY + + +Were Bella Wilfer's bright and ready little wits at fault, or was the +Golden Dustman passing through the furnace of proof and coming +out dross? Ill news travels fast. We shall know full soon. + +On that very night of her return from the Happy Return, something +chanced which Bella closely followed with her eyes and ears. +There was an apartment at the side of the Boffin mansion, known +as Mr Boffin's room. Far less grand than the rest of the house, it +was far more comfortable, being pervaded by a certain air of +homely snugness, which upholstering despotism had banished to +that spot when it inexorably set its face against Mr Boffin's appeals +for mercy in behalf of any other chamber. Thus, although a room +of modest situation--for its windows gave on Silas Wegg's old +corner--and of no pretensions to velvet, satin, or gilding, it had got +itself established in a domestic position analogous to that of an +easy dressing-gown or pair of slippers; and whenever the family +wanted to enjoy a particularly pleasant fireside evening, they +enjoyed it, as an institution that must be, in Mr Boffin's room. + +Mr and Mrs Boffin were reported sitting in this room, when Bella +got back. Entering it, she found the Secretary there too; in official +attendance it would appear, for he was standing with some papers +in his hand by a table with shaded candles on it, at which Mr +Boffin was seated thrown back in his easy chair. + +'You are busy, sir,' said Bella, hesitating at the door. + +'Not at all, my dear, not at all. You're one of ourselves. We never +make company of you. Come in, come in. Here's the old lady in +her usual place.' + +Mrs Boffin adding her nod and smile of welcome to Mr Boffin's +words, Bella took her book to a chair in the fireside corner, by Mrs +Boffin's work-table. Mr Boffin's station was on the opposite side. + +'Now, Rokesmith,' said the Golden Dustman, so sharply rapping +the table to bespeak his attention as Bella turned the leaves of her +book, that she started; 'where were we?' + +'You were saying, sir,' returned the Secretary, with an air of some +reluctance and a glance towards those others who were present, +'that you considered the time had come for fixing my salary.' + +'Don't be above calling it wages, man,' said Mr Boffin, testily. +'What the deuce! I never talked of any salary when I was in +service.' + +'My wages,' said the Secretary, correcting himself. + +'Rokesmith, you are not proud, I hope?' observed Mr Boffin, eyeing +him askance. + +'I hope not, sir.' + +'Because I never was, when I was poor,' said Mr Boffin. 'Poverty +and pride don't go at all well together. Mind that. How can they +go well together? Why it stands to reason. A man, being poor, has +nothing to be proud of. It's nonsense.' + +With a slight inclination of his head, and a look of some surprise, +the Secretary seemed to assent by forming the syllables of the word +'nonsense' on his lips. + +'Now, concerning these same wages,' said Mr Boffin. 'Sit down.' + +The Secretary sat down. + +'Why didn't you sit down before?' asked Mr Boffin, distrustfully. 'I +hope that wasn't pride? But about these wages. Now, I've gone +into the matter, and I say two hundred a year. What do you think +of it? Do you think it's enough?' + +'Thank you. It is a fair proposal.' + +'I don't say, you know,' Mr Boffin stipulated, 'but what it may be +more than enough. And I'll tell you why, Rokesmith. A man of +property, like me, is bound to consider the market-price. At first I +didn't enter into that as much as I might have done; but I've got +acquainted with other men of property since, and I've got +acquainted with the duties of property. I mustn't go putting the +market-price up, because money may happen not to be an object +with me. A sheep is worth so much in the market, and I ought to +give it and no more. A secretary is worth so much in the market, +and I ought to give it and no more. However, I don't mind +stretching a point with you.' + +'Mr Boffin, you are very good,' replied the Secretary, with an effort. + +'Then we put the figure,' said Mr Boffin, 'at two hundred a year. +Then the figure's disposed of. Now, there must be no +misunderstanding regarding what I buy for two hundred a year. If +I pay for a sheep, I buy it out and out. Similarly, if I pay for a +secretary, I buy HIM out and out.' + +'In other words, you purchase my whole time?' + +'Certainly I do. Look here,' said Mr Boffin, 'it ain't that I want to +occupy your whole time; you can take up a book for a minute or +two when you've nothing better to do, though I think you'll a'most +always find something useful to do. But I want to keep you in +attendance. It's convenient to have you at all times ready on the +premises. Therefore, betwixt your breakfast and your supper,--on +the premises I expect to find you.' + +The Secretary bowed. + +'In bygone days, when I was in service myself,' said Mr Boffin, 'I +couldn't go cutting about at my will and pleasure, and you won't +expect to go cutting about at your will and pleasure. You've rather +got into a habit of that, lately; but perhaps it was for want of a right +specification betwixt us. Now, let there be a right specification +betwixt us, and let it be this. If you want leave, ask for it.' + +Again the Secretary bowed. His manner was uneasy and +astonished, and showed a sense of humiliation. + +'I'll have a bell,' said Mr Boffin, 'hung from this room to yours, and +when I want you, I'll touch it. I don't call to mind that I have +anything more to say at the present moment.' + +The Secretary rose, gathered up his papers, and withdrew. Bella's +eyes followed him to the door, lighted on Mr Boffin complacently +thrown back in his easy chair, and drooped over her book. + +'I have let that chap, that young man of mine,' said Mr Boffin, +taking a trot up and down the room, get above his work. It won't +do. I must have him down a peg. A man of property owes a duty +to other men of property, and must look sharp after his inferiors.' + +Bella felt that Mrs Boffin was not comfortable, and that the eyes of +that good creature sought to discover from her face what attention +she had given to this discourse, and what impression it had made +upon her. For which reason Bella's eyes drooped more engrossedly +over her book, and she turned the page with an air of profound +absorption in it. + +'Noddy,' said Mrs Boffin, after thoughtfully pausing in her work. + +'My dear,' returned the Golden Dustman, stopping short in his trot. + +'Excuse my putting it to you, Noddy, but now really! Haven't you +been a little strict with Mr Rokesmith to-night? Haven't you been +a little--just a little little--not quite like your old self?' + +'Why, old woman, I hope so,' returned Mr Boffin, cheerfully, if not +boastfully. + +'Hope so, deary?' + +'Our old selves wouldn't do here, old lady. Haven't you found that +out yet? Our old selves would be fit for nothing here but to be +robbed and imposed upon. Our old selves weren't people of +fortune; our new selves are; it's a great difference.' + +'Ah!' said Mrs Boffin, pausing in her work again, softly to draw a +long breath and to look at the fire. 'A great difference.' + +'And we must be up to the difference,' pursued her husband; 'we +must be equal to the change; that's what we must be. We've got to +hold our own now, against everybody (for everybody's hand is +stretched out to be dipped into our pockets), and we have got to +recollect that money makes money, as well as makes everything +else.' + +'Mentioning recollecting,' said Mrs Boffin, with her work +abandoned, her eyes upon the fire, and her chin upon her hand, 'do +you recollect, Noddy, how you said to Mr Rokesmith when he first +came to see us at the Bower, and you engaged him--how you said +to him that if it had pleased Heaven to send John Harmon to his +fortune safe, we could have been content with the one Mound +which was our legacy, and should never have wanted the rest?' + +'Ay, I remember, old lady. But we hadn't tried what it was to have +the rest then. Our new shoes had come home, but we hadn't put +'em on. We're wearing 'em now, we're wearing 'em, and must step +out accordingly.' + +Mrs Boffin took up her work again, and plied her needle in silence. + +'As to Rokesmith, that young man of mine,' said Mr Boffin, +dropping his voice and glancing towards the door with an +apprehension of being overheard by some eavesdropper there, 'it's +the same with him as with the footmen. I have found out that you +must either scrunch them, or let them scrunch you. If you ain't +imperious with 'em, they won't believe in your being any better +than themselves, if as good, after the stories (lies mostly) that they +have heard of your beginnings. There's nothing betwixt stiffening +yourself up, and throwing yourself away; take my word for that, +old lady.' + +Bella ventured for a moment to look stealthily towards him under +her eyelashes, and she saw a dark cloud of suspicion, +covetousness, and conceit, overshadowing the once open face. + +'Hows'ever,' said he, 'this isn't entertaining to Miss Bella. Is it, +Bella?' + +A deceiving Bella she was, to look at him with that pensively +abstracted air, as if her mind were full of her book, and she had not +heard a single word! + +'Hah! Better employed than to attend to it,' said Mr Boffin. 'That's +right, that's right. Especially as you have no call to be told how to +value yourself, my dear.' + +Colouring a little under this compliment, Bella returned, 'I hope +sir, you don't think me vain?' + +'Not a bit, my dear,' said Mr Boffin. 'But I think it's very creditable +in you, at your age, to be so well up with the pace of the world, and +to know what to go in for. You are right. Go in for money, my +love. Money's the article. You'll make money of your good looks, +and of the money Mrs Boffin and me will have the pleasure of +settling upon you, and you'll live and die rich. That's the state to +live and die in!' said Mr Boffin, in an unctuous manner. R--r-- +rich!' + +There was an expression of distress in Mrs Boffin's face, as, after +watching her husband's, she turned to their adopted girl, and said: + +'Don't mind him, Bella, my dear.' + +'Eh?' cried Mr Boffin. 'What! Not mind him?' + +'I don't mean that,' said Mrs Boffin, with a worried look, 'but I +mean, don't believe him to be anything but good and generous, +Bella, because he is the best of men. No, I must say that much, +Noddy. You are always the best of men.' + +She made the declaration as if he were objecting to it: which +assuredly he was not in any way. + +'And as to you, my dear Bella,' said Mrs Boffin, still with that +distressed expression, 'he is so much attached to you, whatever he +says, that your own father has not a truer interest in you and can +hardly like you better than he does.' + +'Says too!' cried Mr Boffin. 'Whatever he says! Why, I say so, +openly. Give me a kiss, my dear child, in saying Good Night, and +let me confirm what my old lady tells you. I am very fond of you, +my dear, and I am entirely of your mind, and you and I will take +care that you shall be rich. These good looks of yours (which you +have some right to be vain of; my dear, though you are not, you +know) are worth money, and you shall make money of 'em. The +money you will have, will be worth money, and you shall make +money of that too. There's a golden ball at your feet. Good night, +my dear.' + +Somehow, Bella was not so well pleased with this assurance and +this prospect as she might have been. Somehow, when she put her +arms round Mrs Boffin's neck and said Good Night, she derived a +sense of unworthiness from the still anxious face of that good +woman and her obvious wish to excuse her husband. 'Why, what +need to excuse him?' thought Bella, sitting down in her own room. +'What he said was very sensible, I am sure, and very true, I am +sure. It is only what I often say to myself. Don't I like it then? No, +I don't like it, and, though he is my liberal benefactor, I disparage +him for it. Then pray,' said Bella, sternly putting the question to +herself in the looking-glass as usual, 'what do you mean by this, +you inconsistent little Beast?' + +The looking-glass preserving a discreet ministerial silence when +thus called upon for explanation, Bella went to bed with a +weariness upon her spirit which was more than the weariness of +want of sleep. And again in the morning, she looked for the cloud, +and for the deepening of the cloud, upon the Golden Dustman's +face. + +She had begun by this time to be his frequent companion in his +morning strolls about the streets, and it was at this time that he +made her a party to his engaging in a curious pursuit. Having been +hard at work in one dull enclosure all his life, he had a child's +delight in looking at shops. It had been one of the first novelties +and pleasures of his freedom, and was equally the delight of his +wife. For many years their only walks in London had been taken +on Sundays when the shops were shut; and when every day in the +week became their holiday, they derived an enjoyment from the +variety and fancy and beauty of the display in the windows, which +seemed incapable of exhaustion. As if the principal streets were a +great Theatre and the play were childishly new to them, Mr and +Mrs Boffin, from the beginning of Bella's intimacy in their house, +had been constantly in the front row, charmed with all they saw +and applauding vigorously. But now, Mr Boffin's interest began to +centre in book-shops; and more than that--for that of itself would +not have been much--in one exceptional kind of book. + +'Look in here, my dear,' Mr Boffin would say, checking Bella's arm +at a bookseller's window; 'you can read at sight, and your eyes are +as sharp as they're bright. Now, look well about you, my dear, and +tell me if you see any book about a Miser.' + +If Bella saw such a book, Mr Boffin would instantly dart in and +buy it. And still, as if they had not found it, they would seek out +another book-shop, and Mr Boffin would say, 'Now, look well all +round, my dear, for a Life of a Miser, or any book of that sort; any +Lives of odd characters who may have been Misers.' + +Bella, thus directed, would examine the window with the greatest +attention, while Mr Boffin would examine her face. The moment +she pointed out any book as being entitled Lives of eccentric +personages, Anecdotes of strange characters, Records of +remarkable individuals, or anything to that purpose, Mr Boffin's +countenance would light up, and he would instantly dart in and +buy it. Size, price, quality, were of no account. Any book that +seemed to promise a chance of miserly biography, Mr Boffin +purchased without a moment's delay and carried home. Happening +to be informed by a bookseller that a portion of the Annual +Register was devoted to 'Characters', Mr Boffin at once bought a +whole set of that ingenious compilation, and began to carry it home +piecemeal, confiding a volume to Bella, and bearing three himself. +The completion of this labour occupied them about a fortnight. +When the task was done, Mr Boffin, with his appetite for Misers +whetted instead of satiated, began to look out again. + +It very soon became unnecessary to tell Bella what to look for, and +an understanding was established between her and Mr Boffin that +she was always to look for Lives of Misers. Morning after +morning they roamed about the town together, pursuing this +singular research. Miserly literature not being abundant, the +proportion of failures to successes may have been as a hundred to +one; still Mr Boffin, never wearied, remained as avaricious for +misers as he had been at the first onset. It was curious that Bella +never saw the books about the house, nor did she ever hear from +Mr Boffin one word of reference to their contents. He seemed to +save up his Misers as they had saved up their money. As they had +been greedy for it, and secret about it, and had hidden it, so he was +greedy for them, and secret about them, and hid them. But beyond +all doubt it was to be noticed, and was by Bella very clearly +noticed, that, as he pursued the acquisition of those dismal records +with the ardour of Don Quixote for his books of chivalry, he began +to spend his money with a more sparing hand. And often when he +came out of a shop with some new account of one of those +wretched lunatics, she would almost shrink from the sly dry +chuckle with which he would take her arm again and trot away. It +did not appear that Mrs Boffin knew of this taste. He made no +allusion to it, except in the morning walks when he and Bella were +always alone; and Bella, partly under the impression that he took +her into his confidence by implication, and partly in remembrance +of Mrs Boffin's anxious face that night, held the same reserve. + +While these occurrences were in progress, Mrs Lammle made the +discovery that Bella had a fascinating influence over her. The +Lammles, originally presented by the dear Veneerings, visited the +Boffins on all grand occasions, and Mrs Lammle had not +previously found this out; but now the knowledge came upon her +all at once. It was a most extraordinary thing (she said to Mrs +Boffin); she was foolishly susceptible of the power of beauty, but it +wasn't altogether that; she never had been able to resist a natural +grace of manner, but it wasn't altogether that; it was more than +that, and there was no name for the indescribable extent and degree +to which she was captivated by this charming girl. + +This charming girl having the words repeated to her by Mrs Boffin +(who was proud of her being admired, and would have done +anything to give her pleasure), naturally recognized in Mrs +Lammle a woman of penetration and taste. Responding to the +sentiments, by being very gracious to Mrs Lammle, she gave that +lady the means of so improving her opportunity, as that the +captivation became reciprocal, though always wearing an +appearance of greater sobriety on Bella's part than on the +enthusiastic Sophronia's. Howbeit, they were so much together +that, for a time, the Boffin chariot held Mrs Lammle oftener than +Mrs Boffin: a preference of which the latter worthy soul was not in +the least jealous, placidly remarking, 'Mrs Lammle is a younger +companion for her than I am, and Lor! she's more fashionable.' + +But between Bella Wilfer and Georgiana Podsnap there was this +one difference, among many others, that Bella was in no danger of +being captivated by Alfred. She distrusted and disliked him. +Indeed, her perception was so quick, and her observation so sharp, +that after all she mistrusted his wife too, though with her giddy +vanity and wilfulness she squeezed the mistrust away into a corner +of her mind, and blocked it up there. + +Mrs Lammle took the friendliest interest in Bella's making a good +match. Mrs Lammle said, in a sportive way, she really must show +her beautiful Bella what kind of wealthy creatures she and Alfred +had on hand, who would as one man fall at her feet enslaved. +Fitting occasion made, Mrs Lammle accordingly produced the +most passable of those feverish, boastful, and indefinably loose +gentlemen who were always lounging in and out of the City on +questions of the Bourse and Greek and Spanish and India and +Mexican and par and premium and discount and three-quarters and +seven-eighths. Who in their agreeable manner did homage to +Bella as if she were a compound of fine girl, thorough-bred horse, +well-built drag, and remarkable pipe. But without the least effect, +though even Mr Fledgeby's attractions were cast into the scale. + +'I fear, Bella dear,' said Mrs Lammle one day in the chariot, 'that +you will be very hard to please.' + +'I don't expect to be pleased, dear,' said Bella, with a languid turn +of her eyes. + +'Truly, my love,' returned Sophronia, shaking her head, and smiling +her best smile, 'it would not be very easy to find a man worthy of +your attractions.' + +'The question is not a man, my dear,' said Bella, coolly, 'but an +establishment.' + +'My love,' returned Mrs Lammle, 'your prudence amazes me-- +where DID you study life so well!--you are right. In such a case as +yours, the object is a fitting establishment. You could not descend +to an inadequate one from Mr Boffin's house, and even if your +beauty alone could not command it, it is to be assumed that Mr and +Mrs Boffin will--' + +'Oh! they have already,' Bella interposed. + +'No! Have they really?' + +A little vexed by a suspicion that she had spoken precipitately, and +withal a little defiant of her own vexation, Bella determined not to +retreat. + +'That is to say,' she explained, 'they have told me they mean to +portion me as their adopted child, if you mean that. But don't +mention it.' + +'Mention it!' replied Mrs Lammle, as if she were full of awakened +feeling at the suggestion of such an impossibility. 'Men-tion it!' + +'I don't mind telling you, Mrs Lammle--' Bella began again. + +'My love, say Sophronia, or I must not say Bella.' + +With a little short, petulant 'Oh!' Bella complied. 'Oh!--Sophronia +then--I don't mind telling you, Sophronia, that I am convinced I +have no heart, as people call it; and that I think that sort of thing is +nonsense.' + +'Brave girl!' murmured Mrs Lammle. + +'And so,' pursued Bella, 'as to seeking to please myself, I don't; +except in the one respect I have mentioned. I am indifferent +otherwise.' + +'But you can't help pleasing, Bella,' said Mrs Lammle, rallying her +with an arch look and her best smile, 'you can't help making a +proud and an admiring husband. You may not care to please +yourself, and you may not care to please him, but you are not a free +agent as to pleasing: you are forced to do that, in spite of yourself, +my dear; so it may be a question whether you may not as well +please yourself too, if you can.' + +Now, the very grossness of this flattery put Bella upon proving that +she actually did please in spite of herself. She had a misgiving that +she was doing wrong--though she had an indistinct foreshadowing +that some harm might come of it thereafter, she little thought what +consequences it would really bring about--but she went on with her +confidence. + +'Don't talk of pleasing in spite of one's self, dear,' said Bella. 'I +have had enough of that.' + +'Ay?' cried Mrs Lammle. 'Am I already corroborated, Bella?' + +'Never mind, Sophronia, we will not speak of it any more. Don't +ask me about it.' + +This plainly meaning Do ask me about it, Mrs Lammle did as she +was requested. + +'Tell me, Bella. Come, my dear. What provoking burr has been +inconveniently attracted to the charming skirts, and with difficulty +shaken off?' + +'Provoking indeed,' said Bella, 'and no burr to boast of! But don't +ask me.' + +'Shall I guess?' + +'You would never guess. What would you say to our Secretary?' + +'My dear! The hermit Secretary, who creeps up and down the back +stairs, and is never seen!' + +'I don't know about his creeping up and down the back stairs,' said +Bella, rather contemptuously, 'further than knowing that he does no +such thing; and as to his never being seen, I should be content +never to have seen him, though he is quite as visible as you are. +But I pleased HIM (for my sins) and he had the presumption to tell +me so.' + +'The man never made a declaration to you, my dear Bella!' + +'Are you sure of that, Sophronia?' said Bella. 'I am not. In fact, I +am sure of the contrary.' + +'The man must be mad,' said Mrs Lammle, with a kind of resignation. + +'He appeared to be in his senses,' returned Bella, tossing her head, +'and he had plenty to say for himself. I told him my opinion of his +declaration and his conduct, and dismissed him. Of course this +has all been very inconvenient to me, and very disagreeable. It has +remained a secret, however. That word reminds me to observe, +Sophronia, that I have glided on into telling you the secret, and that +I rely upon you never to mention it.' + +'Mention it!' repeated Mrs Lammle with her former feeling. 'Men- +tion it!' + +This time Sophronia was so much in earnest that she found it +necessary to bend forward in the carriage and give Bella a kiss. A +Judas order of kiss; for she thought, while she yet pressed Bella's +hand after giving it, 'Upon your own showing, you vain heartless +girl, puffed up by the doting folly of a dustman, I need have no +relenting towards YOU. If my husband, who sends me here, +should form any schemes for making YOU a victim, I should +certainly not cross him again.' In those very same moments, Bella +was thinking, 'Why am I always at war with myself? Why have I +told, as if upon compulsion, what I knew all along I ought to have +withheld? Why am I making a friend of this woman beside me, in +spite of the whispers against her that I hear in my heart?' + +As usual, there was no answer in the looking-glass when she got +home and referred these questions to it. Perhaps if she had +consulted some better oracle, the result might have been more +satisfactory; but she did not, and all things consequent marched the +march before them. + +On one point connected with the watch she kept on Mr Boffin, she +felt very inquisitive, and that was the question whether the +Secretary watched him too, and followed the sure and steady +change in him, as she did? Her very limited intercourse with Mr +Rokesmith rendered this hard to find out. Their communication +now, at no time extended beyond the preservation of commonplace +appearances before Mr and Mrs Boffin; and if Bella and the +Secretary were ever left alone together by any chance, he +immediately withdrew. She consulted his face when she could do +so covertly, as she worked or read, and could make nothing of it. +He looked subdued; but he had acquired a strong command of +feature, and, whenever Mr Boffin spoke to him in Bella's presence, +or whatever revelation of himself Mr Boffin made, the Secretary's +face changed no more than a wall. A slightly knitted brow, that +expressed nothing but an almost mechanical attention, and a +compression of the mouth, that might have been a guard against a +scornful smile--these she saw from morning to night, from day to +day, from week to week, monotonous, unvarying, set, as in a piece +of sculpture. + +The worst of the matter was, that it thus fell out insensibly--and +most provokingly, as Bella complained to herself, in her impetuous +little manner--that her observation of Mr Boffin involved a +continual observation of Mr Rokesmith. 'Won't THAT extract a +look from him?'--'Can it be possible THAT makes no impression +on him?' Such questions Bella would propose to herself, often as +many times in a day as there were hours in it. Impossible to know. +Always the same fixed face. + +'Can he be so base as to sell his very nature for two hundred a +year?' Bella would think. And then, 'But why not? It's a mere +question of price with others besides him. I suppose I would sell +mine, if I could get enough for it.' And so she would come round +again to the war with herself. + +A kind of illegibility, though a different kind, stole over Mr +Boffin's face. Its old simplicity of expression got masked by a +certain craftiness that assimilated even his good-humour to itself. +His very smile was cunning, as if he had been studying smiles +among the portraits of his misers. Saving an occasional burst of +impatience, or coarse assertion of his mastery, his good-humour +remained to him, but it had now a sordid alloy of distrust; and +though his eyes should twinkle and all his face should laugh, he +would sit holding himself in his own arms, as if he had an +inclination to hoard himself up, and must always grudgingly stand +on the defensive. + +What with taking heed of these two faces, and what with feeling +conscious that the stealthy occupation must set some mark on her +own, Bella soon began to think that there was not a candid or a +natural face among them all but Mrs Boffin's. None the less +because it was far less radiant than of yore, faithfully reflecting in +its anxiety and regret every line of change in the Golden +Dustman's. + +'Rokesmith,' said Mr Boffin one evening when they were all in his +room again, and he and the Secretary had been going over some +accounts, 'I am spending too much money. Or leastways, you are +spending too much for me.' + +'You are rich, sir.' + +'I am not,' said Mr Boffin. + +The sharpness of the retort was next to telling the Secretary that he +lied. But it brought no change of expression into the set face. + +'I tell you I am not rich,' repeated Mr Boffin, 'and I won't have it.' + +'You are not rich, sir?' repeated the Secretary, in measured words. + +'Well,' returned Mr Boffin, 'if I am, that's my business. I am not +going to spend at this rate, to please you, or anybody. You +wouldn't like it, if it was your money.' + +'Even in that impossible case, sir, I--' + +'Hold your tongue!' said Mr Boffin. 'You oughtn't to like it in any +case. There! I didn't mean to be rude, but you put me out so, and +after all I'm master. I didn't intend to tell you to hold your tongue. +I beg your pardon. Don't hold your tongue. Only, don't contradict. +Did you ever come across the life of Mr Elwes?' referring to his +favourite subject at last. + +'The miser?' + +'Ah, people called him a miser. People are always calling other +people something. Did you ever read about him?' + +'I think so.' + +'He never owned to being rich, and yet he might have bought me +twice over. Did you ever hear of Daniel Dancer?' + +'Another miser? Yes.' + +'He was a good 'un,' said Mr Boffin, 'and he had a sister worthy of +him. They never called themselves rich neither. If they HAD +called themselves rich, most likely they wouldn't have been so.' + +'They lived and died very miserably. Did they not, sir?' + +'No, I don't know that they did,' said Mr Boffin, curtly. + +'Then they are not the Misers I mean. Those abject wretches--' + +'Don't call names, Rokesmith,' said Mr Boffin. + +'--That exemplary brother and sister--lived and died in the foulest +and filthiest degradation.' + +'They pleased themselves,' said Mr Boffin, 'and I suppose they +could have done no more if they had spent their money. But +however, I ain't going to fling mine away. Keep the expenses +down. The fact is, you ain't enough here, Rokesmith. It wants +constant attention in the littlest things. Some of us will be dying in +a workhouse next.' + +'As the persons you have cited,' quietly remarked the Secretary, +'thought they would, if I remember, sir.' + +'And very creditable in 'em too,' said Mr Boffin. 'Very independent +in 'em! But never mind them just now. Have you given notice to +quit your lodgings?' + +'Under your direction, I have, sir.' + +'Then I tell you what,' said Mr Boffin; 'pay the quarter's rent--pay +the quarter's rent, it'll be the cheapest thing in the end--and come +here at once, so that you may be always on the spot, day and night, +and keep the expenses down. You'll charge the quarter's rent to +me, and we must try and save it somewhere. You've got some +lovely furniture; haven't you?' + +'The furniture in my rooms is my own.' + +'Then we shan't have to buy any for you. In case you was to think +it,' said Mr Boffin, with a look of peculiar shrewdness, 'so +honourably independent in you as to make it a relief to your mind, +to make that furniture over to me in the light of a set-off against the +quarter's rent, why ease your mind, ease your mind. I don't ask it, +but I won't stand in your way if you should consider it due to +yourself. As to your room, choose any empty room at the top of the +house.' + +'Any empty room will do for me,' said the Secretary. + +'You can take your pick,' said Mr Boffin, 'and it'll be as good as +eight or ten shillings a week added to your income. I won't deduct +for it; I look to you to make it up handsomely by keeping the +expenses down. Now, if you'll show a light, I'll come to your +office-room and dispose of a letter or two.' + +On that clear, generous face of Mrs Boffin's, Bella had seen such +traces of a pang at the heart while this dialogue was being held, +that she had not the courage to turn her eyes to it when they were +left alone. Feigning to be intent on her embroidery, she sat plying +her needle until her busy hand was stopped by Mrs Boffin's hand +being lightly laid upon it. Yielding to the touch, she felt her hand +carried to the good soul's lips, and felt a tear fall on it. + +'Oh, my loved husband!' said Mrs Boffin. 'This is hard to see and +hear. But my dear Bella, believe me that in spite of all the change +in him, he is the best of men.' + +He came back, at the moment when Bella had taken the hand +comfortingly between her own. + +'Eh?' said he, mistrustfully looking in at the door. 'What's she +telling you?' + +'She is only praising you, sir,' said Bella. + +'Praising me? You are sure? Not blaming me for standing on my +own defence against a crew of plunderers, who could suck me dry +by driblets? Not blaming me for getting a little hoard together?' + +He came up to them, and his wife folded her hands upon his +shoulder, and shook her head as she laid it on her hands. + +'There, there, there!' urged Mr Boffin, not unkindly. 'Don't take on, +old lady.' + +'But I can't bear to see you so, my dear.' + +'Nonsense! Recollect we are not our old selves. Recollect, we +must scrunch or be scrunched. Recollect, we must hold our own. +Recollect, money makes money. Don't you be uneasy, Bella, my +child; don't you be doubtful. The more I save, the more you shall +have.' + +Bella thought it was well for his wife that she was musing with her +affectionate face on his shoulder; for there was a cunning light in +his eyes as he said all this, which seemed to cast a disagreeable +illumination on the change in him, and make it morally uglier. + + + +Chapter 6 + +THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN FALLS INTO WORSE COMPANY + + +It had come to pass that Mr Silas Wegg now rarely attended the +minion of fortune and the worm of the hour, at his (the worm's and +minion's) own house, but lay under general instructions to await +him within a certain margin of hours at the Bower. Mr Wegg took +this arrangement in great dudgeon, because the appointed hours +were evening hours, and those he considered precious to the +progress of the friendly move. But it was quite in character, he +bitterly remarked to Mr Venus, that the upstart who had trampled +on those eminent creatures, Miss Elizabeth, Master George, Aunt +Jane, and Uncle Parker, should oppress his literary man. + +The Roman Empire having worked out its destruction, Mr Boffin +next appeared in a cab with Rollin's Ancient History, which +valuable work being found to possess lethargic properties, broke +down, at about the period when the whole of the army of +Alexander the Macedonian (at that time about forty thousand +strong) burst into tears simultaneously, on his being taken with a +shivering fit after bathing. The Wars of the Jews, likewise +languishing under Mr Wegg's generalship, Mr Boffin arrived in +another cab with Plutarch: whose Lives he found in the sequel +extremely entertaining, though he hoped Plutarch might not expect +him to believe them all. What to believe, in the course of his +reading, was Mr Boffin's chief literary difficulty indeed; for some +time he was divided in his mind between half, all, or none; at +length, when he decided, as a moderate man, to compound with +half, the question still remained, which half? And that stumbling- +block he never got over. + +One evening, when Silas Wegg had grown accustomed to the +arrival of his patron in a cab, accompanied by some profane +historian charged with unutterable names of incomprehensible +peoples, of impossible descent, waging wars any number of years +and syllables long, and carrying illimitable hosts and riches about, +with the greatest ease, beyond the confines of geography--one +evening the usual time passed by, and no patron appeared. After +half an hour's grace, Mr Wegg proceeded to the outer gate, and +there executed a whistle, conveying to Mr Venus, if perchance +within hearing, the tidings of his being at home and disengaged. +Forth from the shelter of a neighbouring wall, Mr Venus then +emerged. + +'Brother in arms,' said Mr Wegg, in excellent spirits, 'welcome!' + +In return, Mr Venus gave him a rather dry good evening. + +'Walk in, brother,' said Silas, clapping him on the shoulder, 'and +take your seat in my chimley corner; for what says the ballad? + + "No malice to dread, sir, + And no falsehood to fear, + But truth to delight me, Mr Venus, + And I forgot what to cheer. + Li toddle de om dee. + And something to guide, + My ain fireside, sir, + My ain fireside."' + +With this quotation (depending for its neatness rather on the spirit +than the words), Mr Wegg conducted his guest to his hearth. + +'And you come, brother,' said Mr Wegg, in a hospitable glow, 'you +come like I don't know what--exactly like it--I shouldn't know you +from it--shedding a halo all around you.' + +'What kind of halo?' asked Mr Venus. + +''Ope sir,' replied Silas. 'That's YOUR halo.' + +Mr Venus appeared doubtful on the point, and looked rather +discontentedly at the fire. + +'We'll devote the evening, brother,' exclaimed Wegg, 'to prosecute +our friendly move. And arterwards, crushing a flowing wine-cup-- +which I allude to brewing rum and water--we'll pledge one +another. For what says the Poet? + + "And you needn't Mr Venus be your black bottle, + For surely I'll be mine, + And we'll take a glass with a slice of lemon in it to which + you're partial, + For auld lang syne."' + +This flow of quotation and hospitality in Wegg indicated his +observation of some little querulousness on the part of Venus. + +'Why, as to the friendly move,' observed the last-named gentleman, +rubbing his knees peevishly, 'one of my objections to it is, that it +DON'T move.' + +'Rome, brother,' returned Wegg: 'a city which (it may not be +generally known) originated in twins and a wolf; and ended in +Imperial marble: wasn't built in a day.' + +'Did I say it was?' asked Venus. + +'No, you did not, brother. Well-inquired.' + +'But I do say,' proceeded Venus, 'that I am taken from among my +trophies of anatomy, am called upon to exchange my human +warious for mere coal-ashes warious, and nothing comes of it. I +think I must give up.' + +'No, sir!' remonstrated Wegg, enthusiastically. 'No, Sir! + + "Charge, Chester, charge, + On, Mr Venus, on!" + +Never say die, sir! A man of your mark!' + +'It's not so much saying it that I object to,' returned Mr Venus, 'as +doing it. And having got to do it whether or no, I can't afford to +waste my time on groping for nothing in cinders.' + +'But think how little time you have given to the move, sir, after all,' +urged Wegg. 'Add the evenings so occupied together, and what do +they come to? And you, sir, harmonizer with myself in opinions, +views, and feelings, you with the patience to fit together on wires +the whole framework of society--I allude to the human skelinton-- +you to give in so soon!' + +'I don't like it,' returned Mr Venus moodily, as he put his head +between his knees and stuck up his dusty hair. 'And there's no +encouragement to go on.' + +'Not them Mounds without,' said Mr Wegg, extending his right +hand with an air of solemn reasoning, 'encouragement? Not them +Mounds now looking down upon us?' + +'They're too big,' grumbled Venus. 'What's a scratch here and a +scrape there, a poke in this place and a dig in the other, to them. +Besides; what have we found?' + +'What HAVE we found?' cried Wegg, delighted to be able to +acquiesce. 'Ah! There I grant you, comrade. Nothing. But on the +contrary, comrade, what MAY we find? There you'll grant me. +Anything.' + +'I don't like it,' pettishly returned Venus as before. 'I came into it +without enough consideration. And besides again. Isn't your own +Mr Boffin well acquainted with the Mounds? And wasn't he well +acquainted with the deceased and his ways? And has he ever +showed any expectation of finding anything?' + +At that moment wheels were heard. + +'Now, I should be loth,' said Mr Wegg, with an air of patient +injury, 'to think so ill of him as to suppose him capable of coming +at this time of night. And yet it sounds like him.' + +A ring at the yard bell. + +'It is him,' said Mr Wegg, 'and he is capable of it. I am sorry, +because I could have wished to keep up a little lingering fragment +of respect for him.' + +Here Mr Boffin was heard lustily calling at the yard gate, 'Halloa! +Wegg! Halloa!' + +'Keep your seat, Mr Venus,' said Wegg. 'He may not stop.' And +then called out, 'Halloa, sir! Halloa! I'm with you directly, sir! +Half a minute, Mr Boffin. Coming, sir, as fast as my leg will bring +me!' And so with a show of much cheerful alacrity stumped out to +the gate with a light, and there, through the window of a cab, +descried Mr Boffin inside, blocked up with books. + +'Here! lend a hand, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin excitedly, 'I can't get out +till the way is cleared for me. This is the Annual Register, Wegg, +in a cab-full of wollumes. Do you know him?' + +'Know the Animal Register, sir?' returned the Impostor, who had +caught the name imperfectly. 'For a trifling wager, I think I could +find any Animal in him, blindfold, Mr Boffin.' + +'And here's Kirby's Wonderful Museum,' said Mr Boffin, 'and +Caulfield's Characters, and Wilson's. Such Characters, Wegg, +such Characters! I must have one or two of the best of 'em to- +night. It's amazing what places they used to put the guineas in, +wrapped up in rags. Catch hold of that pile of wollumes, Wegg, or +it'll bulge out and burst into the mud. Is there anyone about, to +help?' + +'There's a friend of mine, sir, that had the intention of spending the +evening with me when I gave you up--much against my will--for +the night.' + +'Call him out,' cried Mr Boffin in a bustle; 'get him to bear a hand. +Don't drop that one under your arm. It's Dancer. Him and his +sister made pies of a dead sheep they found when they were out a +walking. Where's your friend? Oh, here's your friend. Would you +be so good as help Wegg and myself with these books? But don't +take Jemmy Taylor of Southwark, nor yet Jemmy Wood of +Gloucester. These are the two Jemmys. I'll carry them myself.' + +Not ceasing to talk and bustle, in a state of great excitement, Mr +Boffin directed the removal and arrangement of the books, +appearing to be in some sort beside himself until they were all +deposited on the floor, and the cab was dismissed. + +'There!' said Mr Boffin, gloating over them. 'There they are, like +the four-and-twenty fiddlers--all of a row. Get on your spectacles, +Wegg; I know where to find the best of 'em, and we'll have a taste +at once of what we have got before us. What's your friend's name?' + +Mr Wegg presented his friend as Mr Venus. + +'Eh?' cried Mr Boffin, catching at the name. 'Of Clerkenwell?' + +'Of Clerkenwell, sir,' said Mr Venus. + +'Why, I've heard of you,' cried Mr Boffin, 'I heard of you in the old +man's time. You knew him. Did you ever buy anything of him?' +With piercing eagerness. + +'No, sir,' returned Venus. + +'But he showed you things; didn't he?' + +Mr Venus, with a glance at his friend, replied in the affirmative. + +'What did he show you?' asked Mr Boffin, putting his hands +behind him, and eagerly advancing his head. 'Did he show you +boxes, little cabinets, pocket-books, parcels, anything locked or +sealed, anything tied up?' + +Mr Venus shook his head. + +'Are you a judge of china?' + +Mr Venus again shook his head. + +'Because if he had ever showed you a teapot, I should be glad to +know of it,' said Mr Boffin. And then, with his right hand at his +lips, repeated thoughtfully, 'a Teapot, a Teapot', and glanced over +the books on the floor, as if he knew there was something +interesting connected with a teapot, somewhere among them. + +Mr Wegg and Mr Venus looked at one another wonderingly: and +Mr Wegg, in fitting on his spectacles, opened his eyes wide, over +their rims, and tapped the side of his nose: as an admonition to +Venus to keep himself generally wide awake. + +'A Teapot,' repeated Mr Boffin, continuing to muse and survey the +books; 'a Teapot, a Teapot. Are you ready, Wegg?' + +'I am at your service, sir,' replied that gentleman, taking his usual +seat on the usual settle, and poking his wooden leg under the table +before it. 'Mr Venus, would you make yourself useful, and take a +seat beside me, sir, for the conveniency of snuffing the candles?' + +Venus complying with the invitation while it was yet being given, +Silas pegged at him with his wooden leg, to call his particular +attention to Mr Boffin standing musing before the fire, in the space +between the two settles. + +'Hem! Ahem!' coughed Mr Wegg to attract his employer's +attention. 'Would you wish to commence with an Animal, sir-- +from the Register?' + +'No,' said Mr Boffin, 'no, Wegg.' With that, producing a little book +from his breast-pocket, he handed it with great care to the literary +gentlemen, and inquired, 'What do you call that, Wegg?' + +'This, sir,' replied Silas, adjusting his spectacles, and referring to +the title-page, 'is Merryweather's Lives and Anecdotes of Misers. +Mr Venus, would you make yourself useful and draw the candles a +little nearer, sir?' This to have a special opportunity of bestowing a +stare upon his comrade. + +'Which of 'em have you got in that lot?' asked Mr Boffin. 'Can you +find out pretty easy?' + +'Well, sir,' replied Silas, turning to the table of contents and slowly +fluttering the leaves of the book, 'I should say they must be pretty +well all here, sir; here's a large assortment, sir; my eye catches +John Overs, sir, John Little, sir, Dick Jarrel, John Elwes, the +Reverend Mr Jones of Blewbury, Vulture Hopkins, Daniel Dancer--' + +'Give us Dancer, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin. + +With another stare at his comrade, Silas sought and found the +place. + +'Page a hundred and nine, Mr Boffin. Chapter eight. Contents of +chapter, "His birth and estate. His garments and outward +appearance. Miss Dancer and her feminine graces. The Miser's +Mansion. The finding of a treasure. The Story of the Mutton Pies. +A Miser's Idea of Death. Bob, the Miser's cur. Griffiths and his +Master. How to turn a penny. A substitute for a Fire. The +Advantages of keeping a Snuff-box. The Miser dies without a +Shirt. The Treasures of a Dunghill--"' + +'Eh? What's that?' demanded Mr Boffin. + +'"The Treasures," sir,' repeated Silas, reading very distinctly, '"of a +Dunghill." Mr Venus, sir, would you obleege with the snuffers?' +This, to secure attention to his adding with his lips only, 'Mounds!' + +Mr Boffin drew an arm-chair into the space where he stood, and +said, seating himself and slyly rubbing his hands: + +'Give us Dancer.' + +Mr Wegg pursued the biography of that eminent man through its +various phases of avarice and dirt, through Miss Dancer's death on +a sick regimen of cold dumpling, and through Mr Dancer's keeping +his rags together with a hayband, and warming his dinner by +sitting upon it, down to the consolatory incident of his dying naked +in a sack. After which he read on as follows: + +'"The house, or rather the heap of ruins, in which Mr Dancer lived, +and which at his death devolved to the right of Captain Holmes, +was a most miserable, decayed building, for it had not been +repaired for more than half a century."' + +(Here Mr Wegg eyes his comrade and the room in which they sat: +which had not been repaired for a long time.) + +'"But though poor in external structure, the ruinous fabric was very +rich in the interior. It took many weeks to explore its whole +contents; and Captain Holmes found it a very agreeable task to +dive into the miser's secret hoards."' + +(Here Mr Wegg repeated 'secret hoards', and pegged his comrade +again.) + +'"One of Mr Dancer's richest escretoires was found to be a +dungheap in the cowhouse; a sum but little short of two thousand +five hundred pounds was contained in this rich piece of manure; +and in an old jacket, carefully tied, and strongly nailed down to the +manger, in bank notes and gold were found five hundred pounds +more."' + +(Here Mr Wegg's wooden leg started forward under the table, and +slowly elevated itself as he read on.) + +'"Several bowls were discovered filled with guineas and half- +guineas; and at different times on searching the corners of the +house they found various parcels of bank notes. Some were +crammed into the crevices of the wall"'; + +(Here Mr Venus looked at the wall.) + +'"Bundles were hid under the cushions and covers of the chairs"'; + +(Here Mr Venus looked under himself on the settle.) + +'"Some were reposing snugly at the back of the drawers; and notes +amounting to six hundred pounds were found neatly doubled up in +the inside of an old teapot. In the stable the Captain found jugs +full of old dollars and shillings. The chimney was not left +unsearched, and paid very well for the trouble; for in nineteen +different holes, all filled with soot, were found various sums of +money, amounting together to more than two hundred pounds."' + +On the way to this crisis Mr Wegg's wooden leg had gradually +elevated itself more and more, and he had nudged Mr Venus with +his opposite elbow deeper and deeper, until at length the +preservation of his balance became incompatible with the two +actions, and he now dropped over sideways upon that gentleman, +squeezing him against the settle's edge. Nor did either of the two, +for some few seconds, make any effort to recover himself; both +remaining in a kind of pecuniary swoon. + +But the sight of Mr Boffin sitting in the arm-chair hugging himself, +with his eyes upon the fire, acted as a restorative. Counterfeiting a +sneeze to cover their movements, Mr Wegg, with a spasmodic +'Tish-ho!' pulled himself and Mr Venus up in a masterly manner. + +'Let's have some more,' said Mr Boffin, hungrily. + +'John Elwes is the next, sir. Is it your pleasure to take John +Elwes?' + +'Ah!' said Mr Boffin. 'Let's hear what John did.' + +He did not appear to have hidden anything, so went off rather +flatly. But an exemplary lady named Wilcocks, who had stowed +away gold and silver in a pickle-pot in a clock-case, a canister-full +of treasure in a hole under her stairs, and a quantity of money in an +old rat-trap, revived the interest. To her succeeded another lady, +claiming to be a pauper, whose wealth was found wrapped up in +little scraps of paper and old rag. To her, another lady, apple- +woman by trade, who had saved a fortune of ten thousand pounds +and hidden it 'here and there, in cracks and corners, behind bricks +and under the flooring.' To her, a French gentleman, who had +crammed up his chimney, rather to the detriment of its drawing +powers, 'a leather valise, containing twenty thousand francs, gold +coins, and a large quantity of precious stones,' as discovered by a +chimneysweep after his death. By these steps Mr Wegg arrived at +a concluding instance of the human Magpie: + +'Many years ago, there lived at Cambridge a miserly old couple of +the name of Jardine: they had two sons: the father was a perfect +miser, and at his death one thousand guineas were discovered +secreted in his bed. The two sons grew up as parsimonious as +their sire. When about twenty years of age, they commenced +business at Cambridge as drapers, and they continued there until +their death. The establishment of the Messrs Jardine was the most +dirty of all the shops in Cambridge. Customers seldom went in to +purchase, except perhaps out of curiosity. The brothers were most +disreputable-looking beings; for, although surrounded with gay +apparel as their staple in trade, they wore the most filthy rags +themselves. It is said that they had no bed, and, to save the +expense of one, always slept on a bundle of packing-cloths under +the counter. In their housekeeping they were penurious in the +extreme. A joint of meat did not grace their board for twenty years. +Yet when the first of the brothers died, the other, much to his +surprise, found large sums of money which had been secreted even +from him.' + +'There!' cried Mr Boffin. 'Even from him, you see! There was only +two of 'em, and yet one of 'em hid from the other.' + +Mr Venus, who since his introduction to the French gentleman, +had been stooping to peer up the chimney, had his attention +recalled by the last sentence, and took the liberty of repeating it. + +'Do you like it?' asked Mr Boffin, turning suddenly. + +'I beg your pardon, sir?' + +'Do you like what Wegg's been a-reading?' + +Mr Venus answered that he found it extremely interesting. + +'Then come again,' said Mr Boffin, 'and hear some more. Come +when you like; come the day after to-morrow, half an hour sooner. +There's plenty more; there's no end to it.' + +Mr Venus expressed his acknowledgments and accepted the +invitation. + +'It's wonderful what's been hid, at one time and another,' said Mr +Boffin, ruminating; 'truly wonderful.' + +'Meaning sir,' observed Wegg, with a propitiatory face to draw him +out, and with another peg at his friend and brother, 'in the way of +money?' + +'Money,' said Mr Boffin. 'Ah! And papers.' + +Mr Wegg, in a languid transport, again dropped over on Mr +Venus, and again recovering himself, masked his emotions with a +sneeze. + +'Tish-ho! Did you say papers too, sir? Been hidden, sir?' + +'Hidden and forgot,' said Mr Boffin. 'Why the bookseller that sold +me the Wonderful Museum--where's the Wonderful Museum?' He +was on his knees on the floor in a moment, groping eagerly among +the books. + +'Can I assist you, sir?' asked Wegg. + +'No, I have got it; here it is,' said Mr Boffin, dusting it with the +sleeve of his coat. 'Wollume four. I know it was the fourth +wollume, that the bookseller read it to me out of. Look for it, +Wegg.' + +Silas took the book and turned the leaves. + +'Remarkable petrefaction, sir?' + +'No, that's not it,' said Mr Boffin. 'It can't have been a petrefaction.' + +'Memoirs of General John Reid, commonly called The Walking +Rushlight, sir? With portrait?' + +'No, nor yet him,' said Mr Boffin. + +'Remarkable case of a person who swallowed a crown-piece, sir?' + +'To hide it?' asked Mr Boffin. + +'Why, no, sir,' replied Wegg, consulting the text, 'it appears to have +been done by accident. Oh! This next must be it. "Singular +discovery of a will, lost twenty-one years."' + +'That's it!' cried Mr Boffin. 'Read that.' + +'"A most extraordinary case,"' read Silas Wegg aloud, '"was tried at +the last Maryborough assizes in Ireland. It was briefly this. +Robert Baldwin, in March 1782, made his will, in which he +devised the lands now in question, to the children of his youngest +son; soon after which his faculties failed him, and he became +altogether childish and died, above eighty years old. The +defendant, the eldest son, immediately afterwards gave out that his +father had destroyed the will; and no will being found, he entered +into possession of the lands in question, and so matters remained +for twenty-one years, the whole family during all that time +believing that the father had died without a will. But after twenty- +one years the defendant's wife died, and he very soon afterwards, at +the age of seventy-eight, married a very young woman: which +caused some anxiety to his two sons, whose poignant expressions +of this feeling so exasperated their father, that he in his resentment +executed a will to disinherit his eldest son, and in his fit of anger +showed it to his second son, who instantly determined to get at it, +and destroy it, in order to preserve the property to his brother. +With this view, he broke open his father's desk, where he found-- +not his father's will which he sought after, but the will of his +grandfather, which was then altogether forgotten in the family."' + +'There!' said Mr Boffin. 'See what men put away and forget, or +mean to destroy, and don't!' He then added in a slow tone, 'As-- +ton--ish--ing!' And as he rolled his eyes all round the room, Wegg +and Venus likewise rolled their eyes all round the room. And then +Wegg, singly, fixed his eyes on Mr Boffin looking at the fire again; +as if he had a mind to spring upon him and demand his thoughts or +his life. + +'However, time's up for to-night,' said Mr Boffin, waving his hand +after a silence. 'More, the day after to-morrow. Range the books +upon the shelves, Wegg. I dare say Mr Venus will be so kind as +help you.' + +While speaking, he thrust his hand into the breast of his outer coat, +and struggled with some object there that was too large to be got +out easily. What was the stupefaction of the friendly movers when +this object at last emerging, proved to be a much-dilapidated dark +lantern! + +Without at all noticing the effect produced by this little instrument, +Mr Boffin stood it on his knee, and, producing a box of matches, +deliberately lighted the candle in the lantern, blew out the kindled +match, and cast the end into the fire. 'I'm going, Wegg,' he then +announced, 'to take a turn about the place and round the yard. I +don't want you. Me and this same lantern have taken hundreds-- +thousands--of such turns in our time together.' + +'But I couldn't think, sir--not on any account, I couldn't,'--Wegg +was politely beginning, when Mr Boffin, who had risen and was +going towards the door, stopped: + +'I have told you that I don't want you, Wegg.' + +Wegg looked intelligently thoughtful, as if that had not occurred to +his mind until he now brought it to bear on the circumstance. He +had nothing for it but to let Mr Boffin go out and shut the door +behind him. But, the instant he was on the other side of it, Wegg +clutched Venus with both hands, and said in a choking whisper, as +if he were being strangled: + +'Mr Venus, he must be followed, he must be watched, he mustn't +be lost sight of for a moment.' + +'Why mustn't he?' asked Venus, also strangling. + +'Comrade, you might have noticed I was a little elewated in spirits +when you come in to-night. I've found something.' + +'What have you found?' asked Venus, clutching him with both +hands, so that they stood interlocked like a couple of preposterous +gladiators. + +'There's no time to tell you now. I think he must have gone to look +for it. We must have an eye upon him instantly.' + +Releasing each other, they crept to the door, opened it softly, and +peeped out. It was a cloudy night, and the black shadow of the +Mounds made the dark yard darker. 'If not a double swindler,' +whispered Wegg, 'why a dark lantern? We could have seen what +he was about, if he had carried a light one. Softly, this way.' + +Cautiously along the path that was bordered by fragments of +crockery set in ashes, the two stole after him. They could hear him +at his peculiar trot, crushing the loose cinders as he went. 'He +knows the place by heart,' muttered Silas, 'and don't need to turn +his lantern on, confound him!' But he did turn it on, almost in that +same instant, and flashed its light upon the first of the Mounds. + +'Is that the spot?' asked Venus in a whisper. + +'He's warm,' said Silas in the same tone. 'He's precious warm. +He's close. I think he must be going to look for it. What's that he's +got in his hand?' + +'A shovel,' answered Venus. 'And he knows how to use it, +remember, fifty times as well as either of us.' + +'If he looks for it and misses it, partner,' suggested Wegg, 'what +shall we do?' + +'First of all, wait till he does,' said Venus. + +Discreet advice too, for he darkened his lantern again, and the +mound turned black. After a few seconds, he turned the light on +once more, and was seen standing at the foot of the second mound, +slowly raising the lantern little by little until he held it up at arm's +length, as if he were examining the condition of the whole surface. + +'That can't be the spot too?' said Venus. + +'No,' said Wegg, 'he's getting cold.' + +'It strikes me,' whispered Venus, 'that he wants to find out whether +any one has been groping about there.' + +'Hush!' returned Wegg, 'he's getting colder and colder.--Now he's +freezing!' + +This exclamation was elicited by his having turned the lantern off +again, and on again, and being visible at the foot of the third +mound. + +'Why, he's going up it!' said Venus. + +'Shovel and all!' said Wegg. + +At a nimbler trot, as if the shovel over his shoulder stimulated him +by reviving old associations, Mr Boffin ascended the 'serpentining +walk', up the Mound which he had described to Silas Wegg on the +occasion of their beginning to decline and fall. On striking into it +he turned his lantern off. The two followed him, stooping low, so +that their figures might make no mark in relief against the sky +when he should turn his lantern on again. Mr Venus took the lead, +towing Mr Wegg, in order that his refractory leg might be +promptly extricated from any pitfalls it should dig for itself. They +could just make out that the Golden Dustman stopped to breathe. +Of course they stopped too, instantly. + +'This is his own Mound,' whispered Wegg, as he recovered his +wind, 'this one. + +'Why all three are his own,' returned Venus. + +'So he thinks; but he's used to call this his own, because it's the one +first left to him; the one that was his legacy when it was all he took +under the will.' + +'When he shows his light,' said Venus, keeping watch upon his +dusky figure all the time, 'drop lower and keep closer.' + +He went on again, and they followed again. Gaining the top of the +Mound, he turned on his light--but only partially--and stood it on +the ground. A bare lopsided weatherbeaten pole was planted in the +ashes there, and had been there many a year. Hard by this pole, his +lantern stood: lighting a few feet of the lower part of it and a little +of the ashy surface around, and then casting off a purposeless little +clear trail of light into the air. + +'He can never be going to dig up the pole!' whispered Venus as +they dropped low and kept close. + +'Perhaps it's holler and full of something,' whispered Wegg. + +He was going to dig, with whatsoever object, for he tucked up his +cuffs and spat on his hands, and then went at it like an old digger +as he was. He had no design upon the pole, except that he +measured a shovel's length from it before beginning, nor was it his +purpose to dig deep. Some dozen or so of expert strokes sufficed. +Then, he stopped, looked down into the cavity, bent over it, and +took out what appeared to be an ordinary case-bottle: one of those +squat, high-shouldered, short-necked glass bottles which the +Dutchman is said to keep his Courage in. As soon as he had done +this, he turned off his lantern, and they could hear that he was +filling up the hole in the dark. The ashes being easily moved by a +skilful hand, the spies took this as a hint to make off in good time. +Accordingly, Mr Venus slipped past Mr Wegg and towed him +down. But Mr Wegg's descent was not accomplished without +some personal inconvenience, for his self-willed leg sticking into +the ashes about half way down, and time pressing, Mr Venus took +the liberty of hauling him from his tether by the collar: which +occasioned him to make the rest of the journey on his back, with +his head enveloped in the skirts of his coat, and his wooden leg +coming last, like a drag. So flustered was Mr Wegg by this mode +of travelling, that when he was set on the level ground with his +intellectual developments uppermost, he was quite unconscious of +his bearings, and had not the least idea where his place of +residence was to be found, until Mr Venus shoved him into it. +Even then he staggered round and round, weakly staring about +him, until Mr Venus with a hard brush brushed his senses into him +and the dust out of him. + +Mr Boffin came down leisurely, for this brushing process had been +well accomplished, and Mr Venus had had time to take his breath, +before he reappeared. That he had the bottle somewhere about him +could not be doubted; where, was not so clear. He wore a large +rough coat, buttoned over, and it might be in any one of half a +dozen pockets. + +'What's the matter, Wegg?' said Mr Boffin. 'You are as pale as a +candle.' + +Mr Wegg replied, with literal exactness, that he felt as if he had +had a turn. + +'Bile,' said Mr Boffin, blowing out the light in the lantern, shutting +it up, and stowing it away in the breast of his coat as before. 'Are +you subject to bile, Wegg?' + +Mr Wegg again replied, with strict adherence to truth, that he +didn't think he had ever had a similar sensation in his head, to +anything like the same extent. + +'Physic yourself to-morrow, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, 'to be in order +for next night. By-the-by, this neighbourhood is going to have a +loss, Wegg.' + +'A loss, sir?' + +'Going to lose the Mounds.' + +The friendly movers made such an obvious effort not to look at one +another, that they might as well have stared at one another with all +their might. + +'Have you parted with them, Mr Boffin?' asked Silas. + +'Yes; they're going. Mine's as good as gone already.' + +'You mean the little one of the three, with the pole atop, sir.' + +'Yes,' said Mr Boffin, rubbing his ear in his old way, with that new +touch of craftiness added to it. 'It has fetched a penny. It'll begin +to be carted off to-morrow.' + +'Have you been out to take leave of your old friend, sir?' asked +Silas, jocosely. + +'No,' said Mr Boffin. 'What the devil put that in your head?' + +He was so sudden and rough, that Wegg, who had been hovering +closer and closer to his skirts, despatching the back of his hand on +exploring expeditions in search of the bottle's surface, retired two +or three paces. + +'No offence, sir,' said Wegg, humbly. 'No offence.' + +Mr Boffin eyed him as a dog might eye another dog who wanted +his bone; and actually retorted with a low growl, as the dog might +have retorted. + +'Good-night,' he said, after having sunk into a moody silence, with +his hands clasped behind him, and his eyes suspiciously +wandering about Wegg.--'No! stop there. I know the way out, and +I want no light.' + +Avarice, and the evening's legends of avarice, and the +inflammatory effect of what he had seen, and perhaps the rush of +his ill-conditioned blood to his brain in his descent, wrought Silas +Wegg to such a pitch of insatiable appetite, that when the door +closed he made a swoop at it and drew Venus along with him. + +'He mustn't go,' he cried. 'We mustn't let him go? He has got that +bottle about him. We must have that bottle.' + +'Why, you wouldn't take it by force?' said Venus, restraining him. + +'Wouldn't I? Yes I would. I'd take it by any force, I'd have it at +any price! Are you so afraid of one old man as to let him go, you +coward?' + +'I am so afraid of you, as not to let YOU go,' muttered Venus, +sturdily, clasping him in his arms. + +'Did you hear him?' retorted Wegg. 'Did you hear him say that he +was resolved to disappoint us? Did you hear him say, you cur, that +he was going to have the Mounds cleared off, when no doubt the +whole place will be rummaged? If you haven't the spirit of a +mouse to defend your rights, I have. Let me go after him.' + +As in his wildness he was making a strong struggle for it, Mr +Venus deemed it expedient to lift him, throw him, and fall with +him; well knowing that, once down, he would not be up again +easily with his wooden leg. So they both rolled on the floor, and, +as they did so, Mr Boffin shut the gate. + + + +Chapter 7 + +THE FRIENDLY MOVE TAKES UP A STRONG POSITION + + +The friendly movers sat upright on the floor, panting and eyeing +one another, after Mr Boffin had slammed the gate and gone away. +In the weak eyes of Venus, and in every reddish dust-coloured hair +in his shock of hair, there was a marked distrust of Wegg and an +alertness to fly at him on perceiving the smallest occasion. In the +hard-grained face of Wegg, and in his stiff knotty figure (he looked +like a German wooden toy), there was expressed a politic +conciliation, which had no spontaneity in it. Both were flushed, +flustered, and rumpled, by the late scuffle; and Wegg, in coming to +the ground, had received a humming knock on the back of his +devoted head, which caused him still to rub it with an air of having +been highly--but disagreeably--astonished. Each was silent for +some time, leaving it to the other to begin. + +'Brother,' said Wegg, at length breaking the silence, 'you were +right, and I was wrong. I forgot myself.' + +Mr Venus knowingly cocked his shock of hair, as rather thinking +Mr Wegg had remembered himself, in respect of appearing +without any disguise. + +'But comrade,' pursued Wegg, 'it was never your lot to know Miss +Elizabeth, Master George, Aunt Jane, nor Uncle Parker.' + +Mr Venus admitted that he had never known those distinguished +persons, and added, in effect, that he had never so much as desired +the honour of their acquaintance. + +'Don't say that, comrade!' retorted Wegg: 'No, don't say that! +Because, without having known them, you never can fully know +what it is to be stimilated to frenzy by the sight of the Usurper.' + +Offering these excusatory words as if they reflected great credit on +himself, Mr Wegg impelled himself with his hands towards a chair +in a corner of the room, and there, after a variety of awkward +gambols, attained a perpendicular position. Mr Venus also rose. + +'Comrade,' said Wegg, 'take a seat. Comrade, what a speaking +countenance is yours!' + +Mr Venus involuntarily smoothed his countenance, and looked at +his hand, as if to see whether any of its speaking properties came +off. + +'For clearly do I know, mark you,' pursued Wegg, pointing his +words with his forefinger, 'clearly do I know what question your +expressive features puts to me.' + +'What question?' said Venus. + +'The question,' returned Wegg, with a sort of joyful affability, 'why +I didn't mention sooner, that I had found something. Says your +speaking countenance to me: "Why didn't you communicate that, +when I first come in this evening? Why did you keep it back till +you thought Mr Boffin had come to look for the article?" Your +speaking countenance,' said Wegg, 'puts it plainer than language. +Now, you can't read in my face what answer I give?' + +'No, I can't,' said Venus. + +'I knew it! And why not?' returned Wegg, with the same joyful +candour. 'Because I lay no claims to a speaking countenance. +Because I am well aware of my deficiencies. All men are not +gifted alike. But I can answer in words. And in what words? +These. I wanted to give you a delightful sap--pur--IZE!' + +Having thus elongated and emphasized the word Surprise, Mr +Wegg shook his friend and brother by both hands, and then +clapped him on both knees, like an affectionate patron who +entreated him not to mention so small a service as that which it +had been his happy privilege to render. + +'Your speaking countenance,' said Wegg, 'being answered to its +satisfaction, only asks then, "What have you found?" Why, I hear +it say the words!' + +'Well?' retorted Venus snappishly, after waiting in vain. 'If you +hear it say the words, why don't you answer it?' + +'Hear me out!' said Wegg. 'I'm a-going to. Hear me out! Man and +brother, partner in feelings equally with undertakings and actions, I +have found a cash-box.' + +'Where?' + +'--Hear me out!' said Wegg. (He tried to reserve whatever he could, +and, whenever disclosure was forced upon him, broke into a +radiant gush of Hear me out.) 'On a certain day, sir--' + +'When?' said Venus bluntly. + +'N--no,' returned Wegg, shaking his head at once observantly, +thoughtfully, and playfully. 'No, sir! That's not your expressive +countenance which asks that question. That's your voice; merely +your voice. To proceed. On a certain day, sir, I happened to be +walking in the yard--taking my lonely round--for in the words of a +friend of my own family, the author of All's Well arranged as a +duett: + + "Deserted, as you will remember Mr Venus, by the waning + moon, + When stars, it will occur to you before I mention it, proclaim + night's cheerless noon, + On tower, fort, or tented ground, + The sentry walks his lonely round, + The sentry walks:" + +--under those circumstances, sir, I happened to be walking in the +yard early one afternoon, and happened to have an iron rod in my +hand, with which I have been sometimes accustomed to beguile +the monotony of a literary life, when I struck it against an object +not necessary to trouble you by naming--' + +'It is necessary. What object?' demanded Venus, in a wrathful +tone. + +'--Hear me out!' said Wegg. 'The Pump.--When I struck it against +the Pump, and found, not only that the top was loose and opened +with a lid, but that something in it rattled. That something, +comrade, I discovered to be a small flat oblong cash-box. Shall I +say it was disappintingly light?' + +'There were papers in it,' said Venus. + +'There your expressive countenance speaks indeed!' cried Wegg. +'A paper. The box was locked, tied up, and sealed, and on the +outside was a parchment label, with the writing, "MY WILL, +JOHN HARMON, TEMPORARILY DEPOSITED HERE."' + +'We must know its contents,' said Venus. + +'--Hear me out!' cried Wegg. 'I said so, and I broke the box open. + +'Without coming to me!' exclaimed Venus. + +'Exactly so, sir!' returned Wegg, blandly and buoyantly. 'I see I +take you with me! Hear, hear, hear! Resolved, as your +discriminating good sense perceives, that if you was to have a +sap--pur--IZE, it should be a complete one! Well, sir. And so, as you +have honoured me by anticipating, I examined the document. +Regularly executed, regularly witnessed, very short. Inasmuch as +he has never made friends, and has ever had a rebellious family, +he, John Harmon, gives to Nicodemus Boffin the Little Mound, +which is quite enough for him, and gives the whole rest and +residue of his property to the Crown.' + +'The date of the will that has been proved, must be looked to,' +remarked Venus. 'It may be later than this one.' + +'--Hear me out!' cried Wegg. 'I said so. I paid a shilling (never +mind your sixpence of it) to look up that will. Brother, that will is +dated months before this will. And now, as a fellow-man, and as a +partner in a friendly move,' added Wegg, benignantly taking him +by both hands again, and clapping him on both knees again, 'say +have I completed my labour of love to your perfect satisfaction, and +are you sap--pur--IZED?' + +Mr Venus contemplated his fellow-man and partner with doubting +eyes, and then rejoined stiffly: + +'This is great news indeed, Mr Wegg. There's no denying it. But I +could have wished you had told it me before you got your fright to- +night, and I could have wished you had ever asked me as your +partner what we were to do, before you thought you were dividing +a responsibility.' + +'--Hear me out!' cried Wegg. 'I knew you was a-going to say so. +But alone I bore the anxiety, and alone I'll bear the blame!' This +with an air of great magnanimity. + +'No,' said Venus. 'Let's see this will and this box.' + +'Do I understand, brother,' returned Wegg with considerable +reluctance, 'that it is your wish to see this will and this--?' + +Mr Venus smote the table with his hand. + +'--Hear me out!' said Wegg. 'Hear me out! I'll go and fetch 'em.' + +After being some time absent, as if in his covetousness he could +hardly make up his mind to produce the treasure to his partner, he +returned with an old leathern hat-box, into which he had put the +other box, for the better preservation of commonplace appearances, +and for the disarming of suspicion. 'But I don't half like opening it +here,' said Silas in a low voice, looking around: 'he might come +back, he may not be gone; we don't know what he may be up to, +after what we've seen.' + +'There's something in that,' assented Venus. 'Come to my place.' + +Jealous of the custody of the box, and yet fearful of opening it +under the existing circumstances, Wegg hesitated. 'Come, I tell +you,' repeated Venus, chafing, 'to my place.' Not very well seeing +his way to a refusal, Mr Wegg then rejoined in a gush, '--Hear me +out!--Certainly.' So he locked up the Bower and they set forth: Mr +Venus taking his arm, and keeping it with remarkable tenacity. + +They found the usual dim light burning in the window of Mr +Venus's establishment, imperfectly disclosing to the public the +usual pair of preserved frogs, sword in hand, with their point of +honour still unsettled. Mr Venus had closed his shop door on +coming out, and now opened it with the key and shut it again as +soon as they were within; but not before he had put up and barred +the shutters of the shop window. 'No one can get in without being +let in,' said he then, 'and we couldn't be more snug than here.' So +he raked together the yet warm cinders in the rusty grate, and made +a fire, and trimmed the candle on the little counter. As the fire cast +its flickering gleams here and there upon the dark greasy walls; the +Hindoo baby, the African baby, the articulated English baby, the +assortment of skulls, and the rest of the collection, came starting to +their various stations as if they had all been out, like their master +and were punctual in a general rendezvous to assist at the secret. +The French gentleman had grown considerably since Mr Wegg last +saw him, being now accommodated with a pair of legs and a head, +though his arms were yet in abeyance. To whomsoever the head +had originally belonged, Silas Wegg would have regarded it as a +personal favour if he had not cut quite so many teeth. + +Silas took his seat in silence on the wooden box before the fire, and +Venus dropping into his low chair produced from among his +skeleton hands, his tea-tray and tea-cups, and put the kettle on. +Silas inwardly approved of these preparations, trusting they might +end in Mr Venus's diluting his intellect. + +'Now, sir,' said Venus, 'all is safe and quiet. Let us see this +discovery.' + +With still reluctant hands, and not without several glances towards +the skeleton hands, as if he mistrusted that a couple of them might +spring forth and clutch the document, Wegg opened the hat-box +and revealed the cash-box, opened the cash-box and revealed the +will. He held a corner of it tight, while Venus, taking hold of +another corner, searchingly and attentively read it. + +'Was I correct in my account of it, partner?' said Mr Wegg at +length. + +'Partner, you were,' said Mr Venus. + +Mr Wegg thereupon made an easy, graceful movement, as though +he would fold it up; but Mr Venus held on by his corner. + +'No, sir,' said Mr Venus, winking his weak eyes and shaking his +head. 'No, partner. The question is now brought up, who is going +to take care of this. Do you know who is going to take care of this, +partner?' + +'I am,' said Wegg. + +'Oh dear no, partner,' retorted Venus. 'That's a mistake. I am. +Now look here, Mr Wegg. I don't want to have any words with +you, and still less do I want to have any anatomical pursuits with +you.' + +'What do you mean?' said Wegg, quickly. + +'I mean, partner,' replied Venus, slowly, 'that it's hardly possible +for a man to feel in a more amiable state towards another man than +I do towards you at this present moment. But I am on my own +ground, I am surrounded by the trophies of my art, and my tools is +very handy.' + +'What do you mean, Mr Venus?' asked Wegg again. + +'I am surrounded, as I have observed,' said Mr Venus, placidly, 'by +the trophies of my art. They are numerous, my stock of human +warious is large, the shop is pretty well crammed, and I don't just +now want any more trophies of my art. But I like my art, and I +know how to exercise my art.' + +'No man better,' assented Mr Wegg, with a somewhat staggered +air. + +'There's the Miscellanies of several human specimens,' said Venus, +'(though you mightn't think it) in the box on which you're sitting. +There's the Miscellanies of several human specimens, in the lovely +compo-one behind the door'; with a nod towards the French +gentleman. 'It still wants a pair of arms. I DON'T say that I'm in +any hurry for 'em.' + +'You must be wandering in your mind, partner,' Silas remonstrated. + +'You'll excuse me if I wander,' returned Venus; 'I am sometimes +rather subject to it. I like my art, and I know how to exercise my +art, and I mean to have the keeping of this document.' + +'But what has that got to do with your art, partner?' asked Wegg, in +an insinuating tone. + +Mr Venus winked his chronically-fatigued eyes both at once, and +adjusting the kettle on the fire, remarked to himself, in a hollow +voice, 'She'll bile in a couple of minutes.' + +Silas Wegg glanced at the kettle, glanced at the shelves, glanced at +the French gentleman behind the door, and shrank a little as he +glanced at Mr Venus winking his red eyes, and feeling in his +waistcoat pocket--as for a lancet, say--with his unoccupied hand. +He and Venus were necessarily seated close together, as each held +a corner of the document, which was but a common sheet of paper. + +'Partner,' said Wegg, even more insinuatingly than before, 'I +propose that we cut it in half, and each keep a half.' + +Venus shook his shock of hair, as he replied, 'It wouldn't do to +mutilate it, partner. It might seem to be cancelled.' + +'Partner,' said Wegg, after a silence, during which they had +contemplated one another, 'don't your speaking countenance say +that you're a-going to suggest a middle course?' + +Venus shook his shock of hair as he replied, 'Partner, you have +kept this paper from me once. You shall never keep it from me +again. I offer you the box and the label to take care of, but I'll take +care of the paper.' + +Silas hesitated a little longer, and then suddenly releasing his +corner, and resuming his buoyant and benignant tone, exclaimed, +'What's life without trustfulness! What's a fellow-man without +honour! You're welcome to it, partner, in a spirit of trust and +confidence.' + +Continuing to wink his red eyes both together--but in a self- +communing way, and without any show of triumph--Mr Venus +folded the paper now left in his hand, and locked it in a drawer +behind him, and pocketed the key. He then proposed 'A cup of tea, +partner?' To which Mr Wegg returned, 'Thank'ee, partner,' and the +tea was made and poured out. + +'Next,' said Venus, blowing at his tea in his saucer, and looking +over it at his confidential friend, 'comes the question, What's the +course to be pursued?' + +On this head, Silas Wegg had much to say. Silas had to say That, +he would beg to remind his comrade, brother, and partner, of the +impressive passages they had read that evening; of the evident +parallel in Mr Boffin's mind between them and the late owner of +the Bower, and the present circumstances of the Bower; of the +bottle; and of the box. That, the fortunes of his brother and +comrade, and of himself were evidently made, inasmuch as they +had but to put their price upon this document, and get that price +from the minion of fortune and the worm of the hour: who now +appeared to be less of a minion and more of a worm than had been +previously supposed. That, he considered it plain that such price +was stateable in a single expressive word, and that the word was, +'Halves!' That, the question then arose when 'Halves!' should be +called. That, here he had a plan of action to recommend, with a +conditional clause. That, the plan of action was that they should +lie by with patience; that, they should allow the Mounds to be +gradually levelled and cleared away, while retaining to themselves +their present opportunity of watching the process--which would be, +he conceived, to put the trouble and cost of daily digging and +delving upon somebody else, while they might nightly turn such +complete disturbance of the dust to the account of their own private +investigations--and that, when the Mounds were gone, and they +had worked those chances for their own joint benefit solely, they +should then, and not before, explode on the minion and worm. But +here came the conditional clause, and to this he entreated the +special attention of his comrade, brother, and partner. It was not to +be borne that the minion and worm should carry off any of that +property which was now to be regarded as their own property. +When he, Mr Wegg, had seen the minion surreptitiously making +off with that bottle, and its precious contents unknown, he had +looked upon him in the light of a mere robber, and, as such, would +have despoiled him of his ill-gotten gain, but for the judicious +interference of his comrade, brother, and partner. Therefore, the +conditional clause he proposed was, that, if the minion should +return in his late sneaking manner, and if, being closely watched, +he should be found to possess himself of anything, no matter what, +the sharp sword impending over his head should be instantly +shown him, he should be strictly examined as to what he knew or +suspected, should be severely handled by them his masters, and +should be kept in a state of abject moral bondage and slavery until +the time when they should see fit to permit him to purchase his +freedom at the price of half his possessions. If, said Mr Wegg by +way of peroration, he had erred in saying only 'Halves!' he trusted +to his comrade, brother, and partner not to hesitate to set him right, +and to reprove his weakness. It might be more according to the +rights of things, to say Two-thirds; it might be more according to +the rights of things, to say Three-fourths. On those points he was +ever open to correction. + +Mr Venus, having wafted his attention to this discourse over three +successive saucers of tea, signified his concurrence in the views +advanced. Inspirited hereby, Mr Wegg extended his right hand, +and declared it to be a hand which never yet. Without entering into +more minute particulars. Mr Venus, sticking to his tea, briefly +professed his belief as polite forms required of him, that it WAS a +hand which never yet. But contented himself with looking at it, +and did not take it to his bosom. + +'Brother,' said Wegg, when this happy understanding was +established, 'I should like to ask you something. You remember +the night when I first looked in here, and found you floating your +powerful mind in tea?' + +Still swilling tea, Mr Venus nodded assent. + +'And there you sit, sir,' pursued Wegg with an air of thoughtful +admiration, 'as if you had never left off! There you sit, sir, as if you +had an unlimited capacity of assimilating the flagrant article! +There you sit, sir, in the midst of your works, looking as if you'd +been called upon for Home, Sweet Home, and was obleeging the +company! + + "A exile from home splendour dazzles in vain, + O give you your lowly Preparations again, + The birds stuffed so sweetly that can't be expected to come at + your call, + Give you these with the peace of mind dearer than all. + Home, Home, Home, sweet Home!" + +--Be it ever,' added Mr Wegg in prose as he glanced about the +shop, 'ever so ghastly, all things considered there's no place like it.' + +'You said you'd like to ask something; but you haven't asked it,' +remarked Venus, very unsympathetic in manner. + +'Your peace of mind,' said Wegg, offering condolence, 'your peace +of mind was in a poor way that night. HOW'S it going on? IS it +looking up at all?' + +'She does not wish,' replied Mr Venus with a comical mixture of +indignant obstinacy and tender melancholy, 'to regard herself, nor +yet to be regarded, in that particular light. There's no more to be +said.' + +'Ah, dear me, dear me!' exclaimed Wegg with a sigh, but eyeing +him while pretending to keep him company in eyeing the fire, 'such +is Woman! And I remember you said that night, sitting there as I +sat here--said that night when your peace of mind was first laid +low, that you had taken an interest in these very affairs. Such is +coincidence!' + +'Her father,' rejoined Venus, and then stopped to swallow more tea, +'her father was mixed up in them.' + +'You didn't mention her name, sir, I think?' observed Wegg, +pensively. 'No, you didn't mention her name that night.' + +'Pleasant Riderhood.' + +'In--deed!' cried Wegg. 'Pleasant Riderhood. There's something +moving in the name. Pleasant. Dear me! Seems to express what +she might have been, if she hadn't made that unpleasant remark-- +and what she ain't, in consequence of having made it. Would it at +all pour balm into your wounds, Mr Venus, to inquire how you +came acquainted with her?' + +'I was down at the water-side,' said Venus, taking another gulp of +tea and mournfully winking at the fire--'looking for parrots'--taking +another gulp and stopping. + +Mr Wegg hinted, to jog his attention: 'You could hardly have been +out parrot-shooting, in the British climate, sir?' + +'No, no, no,' said Venus fretfully. 'I was down at the water-side, +looking for parrots brought home by sailors, to buy for stuffing.' + +'Ay, ay, ay, sir!' + +'--And looking for a nice pair of rattlesnakes, to articulate for a +Museum--when I was doomed to fall in with her and deal with her. +It was just at the time of that discovery in the river. Her father had +seen the discovery being towed in the river. I made the popularity +of the subject a reason for going back to improve the acquaintance, +and I have never since been the man I was. My very bones is +rendered flabby by brooding over it. If they could be brought to me +loose, to sort, I should hardly have the face to claim 'em as mine. +To such an extent have I fallen off under it.' + +Mr Wegg, less interested than he had been, glanced at one +particular shelf in the dark. + +'Why I remember, Mr Venus,' he said in a tone of friendly +commiseration '(for I remember every word that falls from you, +sir), I remember that you said that night, you had got up there--and +then your words was, "Never mind."' + +'--The parrot that I bought of her,' said Venus, with a despondent +rise and fall of his eyes. 'Yes; there it lies on its side, dried up; +except for its plumage, very like myself. I've never had the heart to +prepare it, and I never shall have now.' + +With a disappointed face, Silas mentally consigned this parrot to +regions more than tropical, and, seeming for the time to have lost +his power of assuming an interest in the woes of Mr Venus, fell to +tightening his wooden leg as a preparation for departure: its +gymnastic performances of that evening having severely tried its +constitution. + +After Silas had left the shop, hat-box in hand, and had left Mr +Venus to lower himself to oblivion-point with the requisite weight +of tea, it greatly preyed on his ingenuous mind that he had taken +this artist into partnership at all. He bitterly felt that he had +overreached himself in the beginning, by grasping at Mr Venus's +mere straws of hints, now shown to be worthless for his purpose. +Casting about for ways and means of dissolving the connexion +without loss of money, reproaching himself for having been +betrayed into an avowal of his secret, and complimenting himself +beyond measure on his purely accidental good luck, he beguiled +the distance between Clerkenwell and the mansion of the Golden +Dustman. + +For, Silas Wegg felt it to be quite out of the question that he could +lay his head upon his pillow in peace, without first hovering over +Mr Boffin's house in the superior character of its Evil Genius. +Power (unless it be the power of intellect or virtue) has ever the +greatest attraction for the lowest natures; and the mere defiance of +the unconscious house-front, with his power to strip the roof off the +inhabiting family like the roof of a house of cards, was a treat +which had a charm for Silas Wegg. + +As he hovered on the opposite side of the street, exulting, the +carriage drove up. + +'There'll shortly be an end of YOU,' said Wegg, threatening it with +the hat-box. 'YOUR varnish is fading.' + +Mrs Boffin descended and went in. + +'Look out for a fall, my Lady Dustwoman,' said Wegg. + +Bella lightly descended, and ran in after her. + +'How brisk we are!' said Wegg. 'You won't run so gaily to your old +shabby home, my girl. You'll have to go there, though.' + +A little while, and the Secretary came out. + +'I was passed over for you,' said Wegg. 'But you had better provide +yourself with another situation, young man.' + +Mr Boffin's shadow passed upon the blinds of three large windows +as he trotted down the room, and passed again as he went back. + +'Yoop!' cried Wegg. 'You're there, are you? Where's the bottle? +You would give your bottle for my box, Dustman!' + +Having now composed his mind for slumber, he turned homeward. +Such was the greed of the fellow, that his mind had shot beyond +halves, two-thirds, three-fourths, and gone straight to spoliation of +the whole. 'Though that wouldn't quite do,' he considered, growing +cooler as he got away. 'That's what would happen to him if he +didn't buy us up. We should get nothing by that.' + +We so judge others by ourselves, that it had never come into his +head before, that he might not buy us up, and might prove honest, +and prefer to be poor. It caused him a slight tremor as it passed; +but a very slight one, for the idle thought was gone directly. + +'He's grown too fond of money for that,' said Wegg; 'he's grown too +fond of money.' The burden fell into a strain or tune as he stumped +along the pavements. All the way home he stumped it out of the +rattling streets, PIANO with his own foot, and FORTE with his +wooden leg, 'He's GROWN too FOND of MONEY for THAT, he's +GROWN too FOND of MONEY.' + +Even next day Silas soothed himself with this melodious strain, +when he was called out of bed at daybreak, to set open the yard- +gate and admit the train of carts and horses that came to carry off +the little Mound. And all day long, as he kept unwinking watch on +the slow process which promised to protract itself through many +days and weeks, whenever (to save himself from being choked +with dust) he patrolled a little cinderous beat he established for the +purpose, without taking his eyes from the diggers, he still stumped +to the tune: He's GROWN too FOND of MONEY for THAT, he's +GROWN too FOND of MONEY.' + + + +Chapter 8 + +THE END OF A LONG JOURNEY + + +The train of carts and horses came and went all day from dawn to +nightfall, making little or no daily impression on the heap of ashes, +though, as the days passed on, the heap was seen to be slowly +melting. My lords and gentlemen and honourable boards, when +you in the course of your dust-shovelling and cinder-raking have +piled up a mountain of pretentious failure, you must off with your +honourable coats for the removal of it, and fall to the work with the +power of all the queen's horses and all the queen's men, or it will +come rushing down and bury us alive. + +Yes, verily, my lords and gentlemen and honourable boards, +adapting your Catechism to the occasion, and by God's help so you +must. For when we have got things to the pass that with an +enormous treasure at disposal to relieve the poor, the best of the +poor detest our mercies, hide their heads from us, and shame us by +starving to death in the midst of us, it is a pass impossible of +prosperity, impossible of continuance. It may not be so written in +the Gospel according to Podsnappery; you may not 'find these +words' for the text of a sermon, in the Returns of the Board of +Trade; but they have been the truth since the foundations of the +universe were laid, and they will be the truth until the foundations +of the universe are shaken by the Builder. This boastful handiwork +of ours, which fails in its terrors for the professional pauper, the +sturdy breaker of windows and the rampant tearer of clothes, +strikes with a cruel and a wicked stab at the stricken sufferer, and +is a horror to the deserving and unfortunate. We must mend it, +lords and gentlemen and honourable boards, or in its own evil hour +it will mar every one of us. + +Old Betty Higden fared upon her pilgrimage as many ruggedly +honest creatures, women and men, fare on their toiling way along +the roads of life. Patiently to earn a spare bare living, and quietly +to die, untouched by workhouse hands--this was her highest +sublunary hope. + +Nothing had been heard of her at Mr Boffin's house since she +trudged off. The weather had been hard and the roads had been +bad, and her spirit was up. A less stanch spirit might have been +subdued by such adverse influences; but the loan for her little outfit +was in no part repaid, and it had gone worse with her than she had +foreseen, and she was put upon proving her case and maintaining +her independence. + +Faithful soul! When she had spoken to the Secretary of that +'deadness that steals over me at times', her fortitude had made too +little of it. Oftener and ever oftener, it came stealing over her; +darker and ever darker, like the shadow of advancing Death. That +the shadow should be deep as it came on, like the shadow of an +actual presence, was in accordance with the laws of the physical +world, for all the Light that shone on Betty Higden lay beyond +Death. + +The poor old creature had taken the upward course of the river +Thames as her general track; it was the track in which her last +home lay, and of which she had last had local love and knowledge. +She had hovered for a little while in the near neighbourhood of her +abandoned dwelling, and had sold, and knitted and sold, and gone +on. In the pleasant towns of Chertsey, Walton, Kingston, and +Staines, her figure came to be quite well known for some short +weeks, and then again passed on. + +She would take her stand in market-places, where there were such +things, on market days; at other times, in the busiest (that was +seldom very busy) portion of the little quiet High Street; at still +other times she would explore the outlying roads for great houses, +and would ask leave at the Lodge to pass in with her basket, and +would not often get it. But ladies in carriages would frequently +make purchases from her trifling stock, and were usually pleased +with her bright eyes and her hopeful speech. In these and her clean +dress originated a fable that she was well to do in the world: one +might say, for her station, rich. As making a comfortable provision +for its subject which costs nobody anything, this class of fable has +long been popular. + +In those pleasant little towns on Thames, you may hear the fall of +the water over the weirs, or even, in still weather, the rustle of the +rushes; and from the bridge you may see the young river, dimpled +like a young child, playfully gliding away among the trees, +unpolluted by the defilements that lie in wait for it on its course, +and as yet out of hearing of the deep summons of the sea. It were +too much to pretend that Betty Higden made out such thoughts; no; +but she heard the tender river whispering to many like herself, +'Come to me, come to me! When the cruel shame and terror you +have so long fled from, most beset you, come to me! I am the +Relieving Officer appointed by eternal ordinance to do my work; I +am not held in estimation according as I shirk it. My breast is +softer than the pauper-nurse's; death in my arms is peacefuller than +among the pauper-wards. Come to me!' + +There was abundant place for gentler fancies too, in her untutored +mind. Those gentlefolks and their children inside those fine +houses, could they think, as they looked out at her, what it was to +be really hungry, really cold? Did they feel any of the wonder +about her, that she felt about them? Bless the dear laughing +children! If they could have seen sick Johnny in her arms, would +they have cried for pity? If they could have seen dead Johnny on +that little bed, would they have understood it? Bless the dear +children for his sake, anyhow! So with the humbler houses in the +little street, the inner firelight shining on the panes as the outer +twilight darkened. When the families gathered in-doors there, for +the night, it was only a foolish fancy to feel as if it were a little +hard in them to close the shutter and blacken the flame. So with +the lighted shops, and speculations whether their masters and +mistresses taking tea in a perspective of back-parlour--not so far +within but that the flavour of tea and toast came out, mingled with +the glow of light, into the street--ate or drank or wore what they +sold, with the greater relish because they dealt in it. So with the +churchyard on a branch of the solitary way to the night's sleeping- +place. 'Ah me! The dead and I seem to have it pretty much to +ourselves in the dark and in this weather! But so much the better +for all who are warmly housed at home.' The poor soul envied no +one in bitterness, and grudged no one anything. + +But, the old abhorrence grew stronger on her as she grew weaker, +and it found more sustaining food than she did in her wanderings. +Now, she would light upon the shameful spectacle of some +desolate creature--or some wretched ragged groups of either sex, or +of both sexes, with children among them, huddled together like the +smaller vermin for a little warmth--lingering and lingering on a +doorstep, while the appointed evader of the public trust did his +dirty office of trying to weary them out and so get rid of them. +Now, she would light upon some poor decent person, like herself, +going afoot on a pilgrimage of many weary miles to see some +worn-out relative or friend who had been charitably clutched off to +a great blank barren Union House, as far from old home as the +County Jail (the remoteness of which is always its worst +punishment for small rural offenders), and in its dietary, and in its +lodging, and in its tending of the sick, a much more penal +establishment. Sometimes she would hear a newspaper read out, +and would learn how the Registrar General cast up the units that +had within the last week died of want and of exposure to the +weather: for which that Recording Angel seemed to have a regular +fixed place in his sum, as if they were its halfpence. All such +things she would hear discussed, as we, my lords and gentlemen +and honourable boards, in our unapproachable magnificence never +hear them, and from all such things she would fly with the wings +of raging Despair. + +This is not to be received as a figure of speech. Old Betty Higden +however tired, however footsore, would start up and be driven +away by her awakened horror of falling into the hands of Charity. +It is a remarkable Christian improvement, to have made a pursuing +Fury of the Good Samaritan; but it was so in this case, and it is a +type of many, many, many. + +Two incidents united to intensify the old unreasoning abhorrence-- +granted in a previous place to be unreasoning, because the people +always are unreasoning, and invariably make a point of producing +all their smoke without fire. + +One day she was sitting in a market-place on a bench outside an +inn, with her little wares for sale, when the deadness that she +strove against came over her so heavily that the scene departed +from before her eyes; when it returned, she found herself on the +ground, her head supported by some good-natured market-women, +and a little crowd about her. + +'Are you better now, mother?' asked one of the women. 'Do you +think you can do nicely now?' + +'Have I been ill then?' asked old Betty. + +'You have had a faint like,' was the answer, 'or a fit. It ain't that +you've been a-struggling, mother, but you've been stiff and +numbed.' + +'Ah!' said Betty, recovering her memory. 'It's the numbness. Yes. +It comes over me at times.' + +Was it gone? the women asked her. + +'It's gone now,' said Betty. 'I shall be stronger than I was afore. +Many thanks to ye, my dears, and when you come to be as old as I +am, may others do as much for you!' + +They assisted her to rise, but she could not stand yet, and they +supported her when she sat down again upon the bench. + +'My head's a bit light, and my feet are a bit heavy,' said old Betty, +leaning her face drowsily on the breast of the woman who had +spoken before. 'They'll both come nat'ral in a minute. There's +nothing more the matter.' + +'Ask her,' said some farmers standing by, who had come out from +their market-dinner, 'who belongs to her.' + +'Are there any folks belonging to you, mother?' said the woman. + +'Yes sure,' answered Betty. 'I heerd the gentleman say it, but I +couldn't answer quick enough. There's plenty belonging to me. +Don't ye fear for me, my dear.' + +'But are any of 'em near here? 'said the men's voices; the women's +voices chiming in when it was said, and prolonging the strain. + +'Quite near enough,' said Betty, rousing herself. 'Don't ye be afeard +for me, neighbours.' + +'But you are not fit to travel. Where are you going?' was the next +compassionate chorus she heard. + +'I'm a going to London when I've sold out all,' said Betty, rising +with difficulty. 'I've right good friends in London. I want for +nothing. I shall come to no harm. Thankye. Don't ye be afeard for +me.' + +A well-meaning bystander, yellow-legginged and purple-faced, +said hoarsely over his red comforter, as she rose to her feet, that +she 'oughtn't to be let to go'. + +'For the Lord's love don't meddle with me!' cried old Betty, all her +fears crowding on her. 'I am quite well now, and I must go this +minute.' + +She caught up her basket as she spoke and was making an +unsteady rush away from them, when the same bystander checked +her with his hand on her sleeve, and urged her to come with him +and see the parish-doctor. Strengthening herself by the utmost +exercise of her resolution, the poor trembling creature shook him +off, almost fiercely, and took to flight. Nor did she feel safe until +she had set a mile or two of by-road between herself and the +marketplace, and had crept into a copse, like a hunted animal, to +hide and recover breath. Not until then for the first time did she +venture to recall how she had looked over her shoulder before +turning out of the town, and had seen the sign of the White Lion +hanging across the road, and the fluttering market booths, and the +old grey church, and the little crowd gazing after her but not +attempting to follow her. + +The second frightening incident was this. She had been again as +bad, and had been for some days better, and was travelling along +by a part of the road where it touched the river, and in wet seasons +was so often overflowed by it that there were tall white posts set up +to mark the way. A barge was being towed towards her, and she +sat down on the bank to rest and watch it. As the tow-rope was +slackened by a turn of the stream and dipped into the water, such a +confusion stole into her mind that she thought she saw the forms of +her dead children and dead grandchildren peopling the barge, and +waving their hands to her in solemn measure; then, as the rope +tightened and came up, dropping diamonds, it seemed to vibrate +into two parallel ropes and strike her, with a twang, though it was +far off. When she looked again, there was no barge, no river, no +daylight, and a man whom she had never before seen held a candle +close to her face. + +'Now, Missis,' said he; 'where did you come from and where are +you going to?' + +The poor soul confusedly asked the counter-question where she +was? + +'I am the Lock,' said the man. + +'The Lock?' + +'I am the Deputy Lock, on job, and this is the Lock-house. (Lock +or Deputy Lock, it's all one, while the t'other man's in the hospital.) +What's your Parish?' + +'Parish!' She was up from the truckle-bed directly, wildly feeling +about her for her basket, and gazing at him in affright. + +'You'll be asked the question down town,' said the man. 'They +won't let you be more than a Casual there. They'll pass you on to +your settlement, Missis, with all speed. You're not in a state to be +let come upon strange parishes 'ceptin as a Casual.' + +''Twas the deadness again!' murmured Betty Higden, with her hand +to her head. + +'It was the deadness, there's not a doubt about it,' returned the man. +'I should have thought the deadness was a mild word for it, if it +had been named to me when we brought you in. Have you got any +friends, Missis?' + +'The best of friends, Master.' + +'I should recommend your looking 'em up if you consider 'em game +to do anything for you,' said the Deputy Lock. 'Have you got any +money?' + +'Just a morsel of money, sir.' + +'Do you want to keep it?' + +'Sure I do!' + +'Well, you know,' said the Deputy Lock, shrugging his shoulders +with his hands in his pockets, and shaking his head in a sulkily +ominous manner, 'the parish authorities down town will have it out +of you, if you go on, you may take your Alfred David.' + +'Then I'll not go on.' + +'They'll make you pay, as fur as your money will go,' pursued the +Deputy, 'for your relief as a Casual and for your being passed to +your Parish.' + +'Thank ye kindly, Master, for your warning, thank ye for your +shelter, and good night.' + +'Stop a bit,' said the Deputy, striking in between her and the door. +'Why are you all of a shake, and what's your hurry, Missis?' + +'Oh, Master, Master,' returned Betty Higden, I've fought against the +Parish and fled from it, all my life, and I want to die free of it!' + +'I don't know,' said the Deputy, with deliberation, 'as I ought to let +you go. I'm a honest man as gets my living by the sweat of my +brow, and I may fall into trouble by letting you go. I've fell into +trouble afore now, by George, and I know what it is, and it's made +me careful. You might be took with your deadness again, half a +mile off--or half of half a quarter, for the matter of that--and then it +would be asked, Why did that there honest Deputy Lock, let her +go, instead of putting her safe with the Parish? That's what a man +of his character ought to have done, it would be argueyfied,' said +the Deputy Lock, cunningly harping on the strong string of her +terror; 'he ought to have handed her over safe to the Parish. That +was to be expected of a man of his merits.' + +As he stood in the doorway, the poor old careworn wayworn +woman burst into tears, and clasped her hands, as if in a very +agony she prayed to him. + +'As I've told you, Master, I've the best of friends. This letter will +show how true I spoke, and they will be thankful for me.' + +The Deputy Lock opened the letter with a grave face, which +underwent no change as he eyed its contents. But it might have +done, if he could have read them. + +'What amount of small change, Missis,' he said, with an abstracted +air, after a little meditation, 'might you call a morsel of money?' + +Hurriedly emptying her pocket, old Betty laid down on the table, a +shilling, and two sixpenny pieces, and a few pence. + +'If I was to let you go instead of handing you over safe to the +Parish,' said the Deputy, counting the money with his eyes, 'might +it be your own free wish to leave that there behind you?' + +'Take it, Master, take it, and welcome and thankful!' + +'I'm a man,' said the Deputy, giving her back the letter, and +pocketing the coins, one by one, 'as earns his living by the sweat of +his brow;' here he drew his sleeve across his forehead, as if this +particular portion of his humble gains were the result of sheer hard +labour and virtuous industry; 'and I won't stand in your way. Go +where you like.' + +She was gone out of the Lock-house as soon as he gave her this +permission, and her tottering steps were on the road again. But, +afraid to go back and afraid to go forward; seeing what she fled +from, in the sky-glare of the lights of the little town before her, and +leaving a confused horror of it everywhere behind her, as if she had +escaped it in every stone of every market-place; she struck off by +side ways, among which she got bewildered and lost. That night +she took refuge from the Samaritan in his latest accredited form, +under a farmer's rick; and if--worth thinking of, perhaps, my +fellow-Christians--the Samaritan had in the lonely night, 'passed +by on the other side', she would have most devoutly thanked High +Heaven for her escape from him. + +The morning found her afoot again, but fast declining as to the +clearness of her thoughts, though not as to the steadiness of her +purpose. Comprehending that her strength was quitting her, and +that the struggle of her life was almost ended, she could neither +reason out the means of getting back to her protectors, nor even +form the idea. The overmastering dread, and the proud stubborn +resolution it engendered in her to die undegraded, were the two +distinct impressions left in her failing mind. Supported only by a +sense that she was bent on conquering in her life-long fight, she +went on. + +The time was come, now, when the wants of this little life were +passing away from her. She could not have swallowed food, +though a table had been spread for her in the next field. The day +was cold and wet, but she scarcely knew it. She crept on, poor +soul, like a criminal afraid of being taken, and felt little beyond the +terror of falling down while it was yet daylight, and being found +alive. She had no fear that she would live through another night. + +Sewn in the breast of her gown, the money to pay for her burial +was still intact. If she could wear through the day, and then lie +down to die under cover of the darkness, she would die +independent. If she were captured previously, the money would be +taken from her as a pauper who had no right to it, and she would +be carried to the accursed workhouse. Gaining her end, the letter +would be found in her breast, along with the money, and the +gentlefolks would say when it was given back to them, 'She prized +it, did old Betty Higden; she was true to it; and while she lived, she +would never let it be disgraced by falling into the hands of those +that she held in horror.' Most illogical, inconsequential, and light- +headed, this; but travellers in the valley of the shadow of death are +apt to be light-headed; and worn-out old people of low estate have +a trick of reasoning as indifferently as they live, and doubtless +would appreciate our Poor Law more philosophically on an income +of ten thousand a year. + +So, keeping to byways, and shunning human approach, this +troublesome old woman hid herself, and fared on all through the +dreary day. Yet so unlike was she to vagrant hiders in general, that +sometimes, as the day advanced, there was a bright fire in her eyes, +and a quicker beating at her feeble heart, as though she said +exultingly, 'The Lord will see me through it!' + +By what visionary hands she was led along upon that journey of +escape from the Samaritan; by what voices, hushed in the grave, +she seemed to be addressed; how she fancied the dead child in her +arms again, and times innumerable adjusted her shawl to keep it +warm; what infinite variety of forms of tower and roof and steeple +the trees took; how many furious horsemen rode at her, crying, +'There she goes! Stop! Stop, Betty Higden!' and melted away as +they came close; be these things left untold. Faring on and hiding, +hiding and faring on, the poor harmless creature, as though she +were a Murderess and the whole country were up after her, wore +out the day, and gained the night. + +'Water-meadows, or such like,' she had sometimes murmured, on +the day's pilgrimage, when she had raised her head and taken any +note of the real objects about her. There now arose in the darkness, +a great building, full of lighted windows. Smoke was issuing from +a high chimney in the rear of it, and there was the sound of a +water-wheel at the side. Between her and the building, lay a piece +of water, in which the lighted windows were reflected, and on its +nearest margin was a plantation of trees. 'I humbly thank the +Power and the Glory,' said Betty Higden, holding up her withered +hands, 'that I have come to my journey's end!' + +She crept among the trees to the trunk of a tree whence she could +see, beyond some intervening trees and branches, the lighted +windows, both in their reality and their reflection in the water. She +placed her orderly little basket at her side, and sank upon the +ground, supporting herself against the tree. It brought to her mind +the foot of the Cross, and she committed herself to Him who died +upon it. Her strength held out to enable her to arrange the letter in +her breast, so as that it could be seen that she had a paper there. It +had held out for this, and it departed when this was done. + +'I am safe here,' was her last benumbed thought. 'When I am +found dead at the foot of the Cross, it will be by some of my own +sort; some of the working people who work among the lights +yonder. I cannot see the lighted windows now, but they are there. +I am thankful for all!' + + +The darkness gone, and a face bending down. + +'It cannot be the boofer lady?' + +'I don't understand what you say. Let me wet your lips again with +this brandy. I have been away to fetch it. Did you think that I was +long gone?' + +It is as the face of a woman, shaded by a quantity of rich dark hair. +It is the earnest face of a woman who is young and handsome. But +all is over with me on earth, and this must be an Angel. + +'Have I been long dead?' + +'I don't understand what you say. Let me wet your lips again. I +hurried all I could, and brought no one back with me, lest you +should die of the shock of strangers.' + +'Am I not dead?' + +'I cannot understand what you say. Your voice is so low and +broken that I cannot hear you. Do you hear me?' + +'Yes.' + +'Do you mean Yes?' + +'Yes.' + +'I was coming from my work just now, along the path outside (I +was up with the night-hands last night), and I heard a groan, and +found you lying here.' + +'What work, deary?' + +'Did you ask what work? At the paper-mill.' + +'Where is it?' + +'Your face is turned up to the sky, and you can't see it. It is close +by. You can see my face, here, between you and the sky?' + +'Yes.' + +'Dare I lift you?' + +'Not yet.' + +'Not even lift your head to get it on my arm? I will do it by very +gentle degrees. You shall hardly feel it.' + +'Not yet. Paper. Letter.' + +'This paper in your breast?' + +'Bless ye!' + +'Let me wet your lips again. Am I to open it? To read it?' + +'Bless ye!' + +She reads it with surprise, and looks down with a new expression +and an added interest on the motionless face she kneels beside. + +'I know these names. I have heard them often.' + +'Will you send it, my dear?' + +'I cannot understand you. Let me wet your lips again, and your +forehead. There. O poor thing, poor thing!' These words through +her fast-dropping tears. 'What was it that you asked me? Wait till +I bring my ear quite close.' + +'Will you send it, my dear?' + +'Will I send it to the writers? Is that your wish? Yes, certainly.' + +'You'll not give it up to any one but them?' + +'No.' + +'As you must grow old in time, and come to your dying hour, my +dear, you'll not give it up to any one but them?' + +'No. Most solemnly.' + +'Never to the Parish!' with a convulsed struggle. + +'No. Most solemnly.' + +'Nor let the Parish touch me, not yet so much as look at me!' with +another struggle. + +'No. Faithfully.' + +A look of thankfulness and triumph lights the worn old face. + +The eyes, which have been darkly fixed upon the sky, turn with +meaning in them towards the compassionate face from which the +tears are dropping, and a smile is on the aged lips as they ask: + +'What is your name, my dear?' + +'My name is Lizzie Hexam.' + +'I must be sore disfigured. Are you afraid to kiss me?' + +The answer is, the ready pressure of her lips upon the cold but +smiling mouth. + +'Bless ye! NOW lift me, my love.' + +Lizzie Hexam very softly raised the weather-stained grey head, and +lifted her as high as Heaven. + + + +Chapter 9 + +SOMEBODY BECOMES THE SUBJECT OF A PREDICTION + + +'"We give thee hearty thanks for that it hath pleased thee to +deliver this our sister out of the miseries of this sinful world."' +So read the Reverend Frank Milvey in a not untroubled voice, +for his heart misgave him that all was not quite right between +us and our sister--or say our sister in Law--Poor Law--and that +we sometimes read these words in an awful manner, over our Sister +and our Brother too. + +And Sloppy--on whom the brave deceased had never turned her +back until she ran away from him, knowing that otherwise he +would not be separated from her--Sloppy could not in his +conscience as yet find the hearty thanks required of it. Selfish in +Sloppy, and yet excusable, it may be humbly hoped, because our +sister had been more than his mother. + +The words were read above the ashes of Betty Higden, in a corner +of a churchyard near the river; in a churchyard so obscure that there +was nothing in it but grass-mounds, not so much as one single +tombstone. It might not be to do an unreasonably great deal for the +diggers and hewers, in a registering age, if we ticketed their graves +at the common charge; so that a new generation might know which +was which: so that the soldier, sailor, emigrant, coming home, +should be able to identify the resting-place of father, mother, playmate, +or betrothed. For, we turn up our eyes and say that we are all +alike in death, and we might turn them down and work the saying +out in this world, so far. It would be sentimental, perhaps? But +how say ye, my lords and gentleman and honourable boards, shall +we not find good standing-room left for a little sentiment, if we +look into our crowds? + +Near unto the Reverend Frank Milvey as he read, stood his little +wife, John Rokesmith the Secretary, and Bella Wilfer. These, over +and above Sloppy, were the mourners at the lowly grave. Not a +penny had been added to the money sewn in her dress: what her +honest spirit had so long projected, was fulfilled. + +'I've took it in my head,' said Sloppy, laying it, inconsolable, +against the church door, when all was done: I've took it in my +wretched head that I might have sometimes turned a little harder +for her, and it cuts me deep to think so now.' + +The Reverend Frank Milvey, comforting Sloppy, expounded to him +how the best of us were more or less remiss in our turnings at our +respective Mangles--some of us very much so--and how we were +all a halting, failing, feeble, and inconstant crew. + +'SHE warn't, sir,' said Sloppy, taking this ghostly counsel rather ill, +in behalf of his late benefactress. 'Let us speak for ourselves, sir. +She went through with whatever duty she had to do. She went +through with me, she went through with the Minders, she went +through with herself, she went through with everythink. O Mrs +Higden, Mrs Higden, you was a woman and a mother and a +mangler in a million million!' + +With those heartfelt words, Sloppy removed his dejected head from +the church door, and took it back to the grave in the corner, and +laid it down there, and wept alone. 'Not a very poor grave,' said +the Reverend Frank Milvey, brushing his hand across his eyes, +'when it has that homely figure on it. Richer, I think, than it could +be made by most of the sculpture in Westminster Abbey!' + +They left him undisturbed, and passed out at the wicket-gate. The +water-wheel of the paper-mill was audible there, and seemed to +have a softening influence on the bright wintry scene. They had +arrived but a little while before, and Lizzie Hexam now told them +the little she could add to the letter in which she had enclosed Mr +Rokesmith's letter and had asked for their instructions. This was +merely how she had heard the groan, and what had afterwards +passed, and how she had obtained leave for the remains to be +placed in that sweet, fresh, empty store-room of the mill from +which they had just accompanied them to the churchyard, and how +the last requests had been religiously observed. + +'I could not have done it all, or nearly all, of myself,' said Lizzie. 'I +should not have wanted the will; but I should not have had the +power, without our managing partner.' + +'Surely not the Jew who received us?' said Mrs Milvey. + +('My dear,' observed her husband in parenthesis, 'why not?') + +'The gentleman certainly is a Jew,' said Lizzie, 'and the lady, his +wife, is a Jewess, and I was first brought to their notice by a Jew. +But I think there cannot be kinder people in the world.' + +'But suppose they try to convert you!' suggested Mrs Milvey, +bristling in her good little way, as a clergyman's wife. + +'To do what, ma'am?' asked Lizzie, with a modest smile. + +'To make you change your religion,' said Mrs Milvey. + +Lizzie shook her head, still smiling. 'They have never asked me +what my religion is. They asked me what my story was, and I told +them. They asked me to be industrious and faithful, and I +promised to be so. They most willingly and cheerfully do their +duty to all of us who are employed here, and we try to do ours to +them. Indeed they do much more than their duty to us, for they are +wonderfully mindful of us in many ways. + +'It is easy to see you're a favourite, my dear,' said little Mrs Milvey, +not quite pleased. + +'It would be very ungrateful in me to say I am not,' returned Lizzie, +'for I have been already raised to a place of confidence here. But +that makes no difference in their following their own religion and +leaving all of us to ours. They never talk of theirs to us, and they +never talk of ours to us. If I was the last in the mill, it would be +just the same. They never asked me what religion that poor thing +had followed.' + +'My dear,' said Mrs Milvey, aside to the Reverend Frank, 'I wish +you would talk to her.' + +'My dear,' said the Reverend Frank aside to his good little wife, 'I +think I will leave it to somebody else. The circumstances are +hardly favourable. There are plenty of talkers going about, my +love, and she will soon find one.' + +While this discourse was interchanging, both Bella and the +Secretary observed Lizzie Hexam with great attention. Brought +face to face for the first time with the daughter of his supposed +murderer, it was natural that John Harmon should have his own +secret reasons for a careful scrutiny of her countenance and +manner. Bella knew that Lizzie's father had been falsely accused +of the crime which had had so great an influence on her own life +and fortunes; and her interest, though it had no secret springs, like +that of the Secretary, was equally natural. Both had expected to +see something very different from the real Lizzie Hexam, and thus +it fell out that she became the unconscious means of bringing them +together. + +For, when they had walked on with her to the little house in the +clean village by the paper-mill, where Lizzie had a lodging with an +elderly couple employed in the establishment, and when Mrs +Milvey and Bella had been up to see her room and had come down, +the mill bell rang. This called Lizzie away for the time, and left the +Secretary and Bella standing rather awkwardly in the small street; +Mrs Milvey being engaged in pursuing the village children, and +her investigations whether they were in danger of becoming +children of Israel; and the Reverend Frank being engaged--to say +the truth--in evading that branch of his spiritual functions, and +getting out of sight surreptitiously. + +Bella at length said: + +'Hadn't we better talk about the commission we have undertaken, +Mr Rokesmith?' + +'By all means,' said the Secretary. + +'I suppose,' faltered Bella, 'that we ARE both commissioned, or we +shouldn't both be here?' + +'I suppose so,' was the Secretary's answer. + +'When I proposed to come with Mr and Mrs Milvey,' said Bella, +'Mrs Boffin urged me to do so, in order that I might give her my +small report--it's not worth anything, Mr Rokesmith, except for it's +being a woman's--which indeed with you may be a fresh reason for +it's being worth nothing--of Lizzie Hexam.' + +'Mr Boffin,' said the Secretary, 'directed me to come for the same +purpose.' + +As they spoke they were leaving the little street and emerging on +the wooded landscape by the river. + +'You think well of her, Mr Rokesmith?' pursued Bella, conscious +of making all the advances. + +'I think highly of her.' + +'I am so glad of that! Something quite refined in her beauty, is +there not?' + +'Her appearance is very striking.' + +'There is a shade of sadness upon her that is quite touching. At +least I--I am not setting up my own poor opinion, you know, Mr +Rokesmith,' said Bella, excusing and explaining herself in a pretty +shy way; 'I am consulting you.' + +'I noticed that sadness. I hope it may not,' said the Secretary in a +lower voice, 'be the result of the false accusation which has been +retracted.' + +When they had passed on a little further without speaking, Bella, +after stealing a glance or two at the Secretary, suddenly said: + +'Oh, Mr Rokesmith, don't be hard with me, don't be stern with me; +be magnanimous! I want to talk with you on equal terms.' + +The Secretary as suddenly brightened, and returned: 'Upon my +honour I had no thought but for you. I forced myself to be +constrained, lest you might misinterpret my being more natural. +There. It's gone.' + +'Thank you,' said Bella, holding out her little hand. 'Forgive me.' + +'No!' cried the Secretary, eagerly. 'Forgive ME!' For there were +tears in her eyes, and they were prettier in his sight (though they +smote him on the heart rather reproachfully too) than any other +glitter in the world. + +When they had walked a little further: + +'You were going to speak to me,' said the Secretary, with the +shadow so long on him quite thrown off and cast away, 'about +Lizzie Hexam. So was I going to speak to you, if I could have +begun.' + +'Now that you CAN begin, sir,' returned Bella, with a look as if she +italicized the word by putting one of her dimples under it, 'what +were you going to say?' + +'You remember, of course, that in her short letter to Mrs Boffin-- +short, but containing everything to the purpose--she stipulated that +either her name, or else her place of residence, must be kept strictly +a secret among us.' + +Bella nodded Yes. + +'It is my duty to find out why she made that stipulation. I have it in +charge from Mr Boffin to discover, and I am very desirous for +myself to discover, whether that retracted accusation still leaves +any stain upon her. I mean whether it places her at any +disadvantage towards any one, even towards herself.' + +'Yes,' said Bella, nodding thoughtfully; 'I understand. That seems +wise, and considerate.' + +'You may not have noticed, Miss Wilfer, that she has the same +kind of interest in you, that you have in her. Just as you are +attracted by her beaut--by her appearance and manner, she is +attracted by yours.' + +'I certainly have NOT noticed it,' returned Bella, again italicizing +with the dimple, 'and I should have given her credit for--' + +The Secretary with a smile held up his hand, so plainly interposing +'not for better taste', that Bella's colour deepened over the little +piece of coquetry she was checked in. + +'And so,' resumed the Secretary, 'if you would speak with her alone +before we go away from here, I feel quite sure that a natural and +easy confidence would arise between you. Of course you would +not be asked to betray it; and of course you would not, if you were. +But if you do not object to put this question to her--to ascertain for +us her own feeling in this one matter--you can do so at a far greater +advantage than I or any else could. Mr Boffin is anxious on the +subject. And I am,' added the Secretary after a moment, 'for a +special reason, very anxious.' + +'I shall be happy, Mr Rokesmith,' returned Bella, 'to be of the least +use; for I feel, after the serious scene of to-day, that I am useless +enough in this world.' + +'Don't say that,' urged the Secretary. + +'Oh, but I mean that,' said Bella, raising her eyebrows. + +'No one is useless in this world,' retorted the Secretary, 'who +lightens the burden of it for any one else.' + +'But I assure you I DON'T, Mr Rokesmith,' said Bella, half-crying. + +'Not for your father?' + +'Dear, loving, self-forgetting, easily-satisfied Pa! Oh, yes! He +thinks so.' + +'It is enough if he only thinks so,' said the Secretary. 'Excuse the +interruption: I don't like to hear you depreciate yourself.' + +'But YOU once depreciated ME, sir,' thought Bella, pouting, 'and I +hope you may be satisfied with the consequences you brought upon +your head!' However, she said nothing to that purpose; she even +said something to a different purpose. + +'Mr Rokesmith, it seems so long since we spoke together naturally, +that I am embarrassed in approaching another subject. Mr Boffin. +You know I am very grateful to him; don't you? You know I feel a +true respect for him, and am bound to him by the strong ties of his +own generosity; now don't you?' + +'Unquestionably. And also that you are his favourite companion.' + +'That makes it,' said Bella, 'so very difficult to speak of him. But--. +Does he treat you well?' + +'You see how he treats me,' the Secretary answered, with a patient +and yet proud air. + +'Yes, and I see it with pain,' said Bella, very energetically. + +The Secretary gave her such a radiant look, that if he had thanked +her a hundred times, he could not have said as much as the look +said. + +'I see it with pain,' repeated Bella, 'and it often makes me +miserable. Miserable, because I cannot bear to be supposed to +approve of it, or have any indirect share in it. Miserable, because I +cannot bear to be forced to admit to myself that Fortune is spoiling +Mr Boffin.' + +'Miss Wilfer,' said the Secretary, with a beaming face, 'if you could +know with what delight I make the discovery that Fortune isn't +spoiling YOU, you would know that it more than compensates me +for any slight at any other hands.' + +'Oh, don't speak of ME,' said Bella, giving herself an impatient +little slap with her glove. 'You don't know me as well as--' + +'As you know yourself?' suggested the Secretary, finding that she +stopped. 'DO you know yourself?' + +'I know quite enough of myself,' said Bella, with a charming air of +being inclined to give herself up as a bad job, 'and I don't improve +upon acquaintance. But Mr Boffin.' + +'That Mr Boffin's manner to me, or consideration for me, is not +what it used to be,' observed the Secretary, 'must be admitted. It is +too plain to be denied.' + +'Are you disposed to deny it, Mr Rokesmith?' asked Bella, with a +look of wonder. + +'Ought I not to be glad to do so, if I could: though it were only for +my own sake?' + +'Truly,' returned Bella, 'it must try you very much, and--you must +please promise me that you won't take ill what I am going to add, +Mr Rokesmith?' + +'I promise it with all my heart.' + +'--And it must sometimes, I should think,' said Bella, hesitating, 'a +little lower you in your own estimation?' + +Assenting with a movement of his head, though not at all looking +as if it did, the Secretary replied: + +'I have very strong reasons, Miss Wilfer, for bearing with the +drawbacks of my position in the house we both inhabit. Believe +that they are not all mercenary, although I have, through a series of +strange fatalities, faded out of my place in life. If what you see +with such a gracious and good sympathy is calculated to rouse my +pride, there are other considerations (and those you do not see) +urging me to quiet endurance. The latter are by far the stronger.' + +'I think I have noticed, Mr Rokesmith,' said Bella, looking at him +with curiosity, as not quite making him out, 'that you repress +yourself, and force yourself, to act a passive part.' + +'You are right. I repress myself and force myself to act a part. It is +not in tameness of spirit that I submit. I have a settled purpose.' + +'And a good one, I hope,' said Bella. + +'And a good one, I hope,' he answered, looking steadily at her. + +'Sometimes I have fancied, sir,' said Bella, turning away her eyes, +'that your great regard for Mrs Boffin is a very powerful motive +with you.' + +'You are right again; it is. I would do anything for her, bear +anything for her. There are no words to express how I esteem that +good, good woman.' + +'As I do too! May I ask you one thing more, Mr Rokesmith?' + +'Anything more.' + +'Of course you see that she really suffers, when Mr Boffin shows +how he is changing?' + +'I see it, every day, as you see it, and am grieved to give her pain.' + +'To give her pain?' said Bella, repeating the phrase quickly, with +her eyebrows raised. + +'I am generally the unfortunate cause of it.' + +'Perhaps she says to you, as she often says to me, that he is the best +of men, in spite of all.' + +'I often overhear her, in her honest and beautiful devotion to him, +saying so to you,' returned the Secretary, with the same steady +look, 'but I cannot assert that she ever says so to me.' + +Bella met the steady look for a moment with a wistful, musing +little look of her own, and then, nodding her pretty head several +times, like a dimpled philosopher (of the very best school) who +was moralizing on Life, heaved a little sigh, and gave up things in +general for a bad job, as she had previously been inclined to give +up herself. + +But, for all that, they had a very pleasant walk. The trees were +bare of leaves, and the river was bare of water-lilies; but the sky +was not bare of its beautiful blue, and the water reflected it, and a +delicious wind ran with the stream, touching the surface crisply. +Perhaps the old mirror was never yet made by human hands, +which, if all the images it has in its time reflected could pass +across its surface again, would fail to reveal some scene of horror +or distress. But the great serene mirror of the river seemed as if it +might have reproduced all it had ever reflected between those +placid banks, and brought nothing to the light save what was +peaceful, pastoral, and blooming. + +So, they walked, speaking of the newly filled-up grave, and of +Johnny, and of many things. So, on their return, they met brisk +Mrs Milvey coming to seek them, with the agreeable intelligence +that there was no fear for the village children, there being a +Christian school in the village, and no worse Judaical interference +with it than to plant its garden. So, they got back to the village as +Lizzie Hexam was coming from the paper-mill, and Bella detached +herself to speak with her in her own home. + +'I am afraid it is a poor room for you,' said Lizzie, with a smile of +welcome, as she offered the post of honour by the fireside. + +'Not so poor as you think, my dear,' returned Bella, 'if you knew +all.' Indeed, though attained by some wonderful winding narrow +stairs, which seemed to have been erected in a pure white chimney, +and though very low in the ceiling, and very rugged in the floor, +and rather blinking as to the proportions of its lattice window, it +was a pleasanter room than that despised chamber once at home, +in which Bella had first bemoaned the miseries of taking lodgers. + +The day was closing as the two girls looked at one another by the +fireside. The dusky room was lighted by the fire. The grate might +have been the old brazier, and the glow might have been the old +hollow down by the flare. + +'It's quite new to me,' said Lizzie, 'to be visited by a lady so nearly +of my own age, and so pretty, as you. It's a pleasure to me to look +at you.' + +'I have nothing left to begin with,' returned Bella, blushing, +'because I was going to say that it was a pleasure to me to look at +you, Lizzie. But we can begin without a beginning, can't we?' + +Lizzie took the pretty little hand that was held out in as pretty a +little frankness. + +'Now, dear,' said Bella, drawing her chair a little nearer, and taking +Lizzie's arm as if they were going out for a walk, 'I am +commissioned with something to say, and I dare say I shall say it +wrong, but I won't if I can help it. It is in reference to your letter to +Mr and Mrs Boffin, and this is what it is. Let me see. Oh yes! +This is what it is.' + +With this exordium, Bella set forth that request of Lizzie's touching +secrecy, and delicately spoke of that false accusation and its +retraction, and asked might she beg to be informed whether it had +any bearing, near or remote, on such request. 'I feel, my dear,' said +Bella, quite amazing herself by the business-like manner in which +she was getting on, 'that the subject must be a painful one to you, +but I am mixed up in it also; for--I don't know whether you may +know it or suspect it--I am the willed-away girl who was to have +been married to the unfortunate gentleman, if he had been pleased +to approve of me. So I was dragged into the subject without my +consent, and you were dragged into it without your consent, and +there is very little to choose between us.' + +'I had no doubt,' said Lizzie, 'that you were the Miss Wilfer I have +often heard named. Can you tell me who my unknown friend is?' + +'Unknown friend, my dear?' said Bella. + +'Who caused the charge against poor father to be contradicted, and +sent me the written paper.' + +Bella had never heard of him. Had no notion who he was. + +'I should have been glad to thank him,' returned Lizzie. 'He has +done a great deal for me. I must hope that he will let me thank him +some day. You asked me has it anything to do--' + +'It or the accusation itself,' Bella put in. + +'Yes. Has either anything to do with my wishing to live quite +secret and retired here? No.' + +As Lizzie Hexam shook her head in giving this reply and as her +glance sought the fire, there was a quiet resolution in her folded +hands, not lost on Bella's bright eyes. + +'Have you lived much alone?' asked Bella. + +'Yes. It's nothing new to me. I used to be always alone many +hours together, in the day and in the night, when poor father was +alive.' + +'You have a brother, I have been told?' + +'I have a brother, but he is not friendly with me. He is a very good +boy though, and has raised himself by his industry. I don't +complain of him.' + +As she said it, with her eyes upon the fire-glow, there was an +instantaneous escape of distress into her face. Bella seized the +moment to touch her hand. + +'Lizzie, I wish you would tell me whether you have any friend of +your own sex and age.' + +'I have lived that lonely kind of life, that I have never had one,' was +the answer. + +'Nor I neither,' said Bella. 'Not that my life has been lonely, for I +could have sometimes wished it lonelier, instead of having Ma +going on like the Tragic Muse with a face-ache in majestic corners, +and Lavvy being spiteful--though of course I am very fond of them +both. I wish you could make a friend of me, Lizzie. Do you think +you could? I have no more of what they call character, my dear, +than a canary-bird, but I know I am trustworthy.' + +The wayward, playful, affectionate nature, giddy for want of the +weight of some sustaining purpose, and capricious because it was +always fluttering among little things, was yet a captivating one. To +Lizzie it was so new, so pretty, at once so womanly and so +childish, that it won her completely. And when Bella said again, +'Do you think you could, Lizzie?' with her eyebrows raised, her +head inquiringly on one side, and an odd doubt about it in her own +bosom, Lizzie showed beyond all question that she thought she +could. + +'Tell me, my dear,' said Bella, 'what is the matter, and why you live +like this.' + +Lizzie presently began, by way of prelude, 'You must have many +lovers--' when Bella checked her with a little scream of +astonishment. + +'My dear, I haven't one!' + +'Not one?' + +'Well! Perhaps one,' said Bella. 'I am sure I don't know. I HAD +one, but what he may think about it at the present time I can't say. +Perhaps I have half a one (of course I don't count that Idiot, George +Sampson). However, never mind me. I want to hear about you.' + +'There is a certain man,' said Lizzie, 'a passionate and angry man, +who says he loves me, and who I must believe does love me. He is +the friend of my brother. I shrank from him within myself when +my brother first brought him to me; but the last time I saw him he +terrified me more than I can say.' There she stopped. + +'Did you come here to escape from him, Lizzie?' + +'I came here immediately after he so alarmed me.' + +'Are you afraid of him here?' + +'I am not timid generally, but I am always afraid of him. I am +afraid to see a newspaper, or to hear a word spoken of what is done +in London, lest he should have done some violence.' + +'Then you are not afraid of him for yourself, dear?' said Bella, after +pondering on the words. + +'I should be even that, if I met him about here. I look round for +him always, as I pass to and fro at night.' + +'Are you afraid of anything he may do to himself in London, my +dear?' + +'No. He might be fierce enough even to do some violence to +himself, but I don't think of that.' + +'Then it would almost seem, dear,' said Bella quaintly, 'as if there +must be somebody else?' + +Lizzie put her hands before her face for a moment before replying: +'The words are always in my ears, and the blow he struck upon a +stone wall as he said them is always before my eyes. I have tried +hard to think it not worth remembering, but I cannot make so little +of it. His hand was trickling down with blood as he said to me, +"Then I hope that I may never kill him!" + +Rather startled, Bella made and clasped a girdle of her arms round +Lizzie's waist, and then asked quietly, in a soft voice, as they both +looked at the fire: + +'Kill him! Is this man so jealous, then?' + +'Of a gentleman,' said Lizzie. '--I hardly know how to tell you--of a +gentleman far above me and my way of life, who broke father's +death to me, and has shown an interest in me since.' + +'Does he love you?' + +Lizzie shook her head. + +'Does he admire you?' + +Lizzie ceased to shake her head, and pressed her hand upon her +living girdle. + +'Is it through his influence that you came here?' + +'O no! And of all the world I wouldn't have him know that I am +here, or get the least clue where to find me.' + +'Lizzie, dear! Why?' asked Bella, in amazement at this burst. But +then quickly added, reading Lizzie's face: 'No. Don't say why. +That was a foolish question of mine. I see, I see.' + +There was silence between them. Lizzie, with a drooping head, +glanced down at the glow in the fire where her first fancies had +been nursed, and her first escape made from the grim life out of +which she had plucked her brother, foreseeing her reward. + +'You know all now,' she said, raising her eyes to Bella's. 'There is +nothing left out. This is my reason for living secret here, with the +aid of a good old man who is my true friend. For a short part of +my life at home with father, I knew of things--don't ask me what-- +that I set my face against, and tried to better. I don't think I could +have done more, then, without letting my hold on father go; but +they sometimes lie heavy on my mind. By doing all for the best, I +hope I may wear them out.' + +'And wear out too,' said Bella soothingly, 'this weakness, Lizzie, in +favour of one who is not worthy of it.' + +'No. I don't want to wear that out,' was the flushed reply, 'nor do I +want to believe, nor do I believe, that he is not worthy of it. What +should I gain by that, and how much should I lose!' + +Bella's expressive little eyebrows remonstrated with the fire for +some short time before she rejoined: + +'Don't think that I press you, Lizzie; but wouldn't you gain in +peace, and hope, and even in freedom? Wouldn't it be better not to +live a secret life in hiding, and not to be shut out from your natural +and wholesome prospects? Forgive my asking you, would that be +no gain?' + +'Does a woman's heart that--that has that weakness in it which you +have spoken of,' returned Lizzie, 'seek to gain anything?' + +The question was so directly at variance with Bella's views in life, +as set forth to her father, that she said internally, 'There, you little +mercenary wretch! Do you hear that? Ain't you ashamed of your +self?' and unclasped the girdle of her arms, expressly to give +herself a penitential poke in the side. + +'But you said, Lizzie,' observed Bella, returning to her subject +when she had administered this chastisement, 'that you would lose, +besides. Would you mind telling me what you would lose, Lizzie?' + +'I should lose some of the best recollections, best encouragements, +and best objects, that I carry through my daily life. I should lose +my belief that if I had been his equal, and he had loved me, I +should have tried with all my might to make him better and +happier, as he would have made me. I should lose almost all the +value that I put upon the little learning I have, which is all owing +to him, and which I conquered the difficulties of, that he might not +think it thrown away upon me. I should lose a kind of picture of +him--or of what he might have been, if I had been a lady, and he +had loved me--which is always with me, and which I somehow +feel that I could not do a mean or a wrong thing before. I should +leave off prizing the remembrance that he has done me nothing but +good since I have known him, and that he has made a change +within me, like--like the change in the grain of these hands, which +were coarse, and cracked, and hard, and brown when I rowed on +the river with father, and are softened and made supple by this new +work as you see them now.' + +They trembled, but with no weakness, as she showed them. + +'Understand me, my dear;' thus she went on. I have never dreamed +of the possibility of his being anything to me on this earth but the +kind picture that I know I could not make you understand, if the +understanding was not in your own breast already. I have no more +dreamed of the possibility of MY being his wife, than he ever has-- +and words could not be stronger than that. And yet I love him. I +love him so much, and so dearly, that when I sometimes think my +life may be but a weary one, I am proud of it and glad of it. I am +proud and glad to suffer something for him, even though it is of no +service to him, and he will never know of it or care for it.' + +Bella sat enchained by the deep, unselfish passion of this girl or +woman of her own age, courageously revealing itself in the +confidence of her sympathetic perception of its truth. And yet she +had never experienced anything like it, or thought of the existence +of anything like it. + +'It was late upon a wretched night,' said Lizzie, 'when his eyes first +looked at me in my old river-side home, very different from this. +His eyes may never look at me again. I would rather that they +never did; I hope that they never may. But I would not have the +light of them taken out of my life, for anything my life can give me. +I have told you everything now, my dear. If it comes a little +strange to me to have parted with it, I am not sorry. I had no +thought of ever parting with a single word of it, a moment before +you came in; but you came in, and my mind changed.' + +Bella kissed her on the cheek, and thanked her warmly for her +confidence. 'I only wish,' said Bella, 'I was more deserving of it.' + +'More deserving of it?' repeated Lizzie, with an incredulous smile. + +'I don't mean in respect of keeping it,' said Bella, 'because any one +should tear me to bits before getting at a syllable of it--though +there's no merit in that, for I am naturally as obstinate as a Pig. +What I mean is, Lizzie, that I am a mere impertinent piece of +conceit, and you shame me.' + +Lizzie put up the pretty brown hair that came tumbling down, +owing to the energy with which Bella shook her head; and she +remonstrated while thus engaged, 'My dear!' + +'Oh, it's all very well to call me your dear,' said Bella, with a +pettish whimper, 'and I am glad to be called so, though I have +slight enough claim to be. But I AM such a nasty little thing!' + +'My dear!' urged Lizzie again. + +'Such a shallow, cold, worldly, Limited little brute!' said Bella, +bringing out her last adjective with culminating force. + +'Do you think,' inquired Lizzie with her quiet smile, the hair being +now secured, 'that I don't know better?' + +'DO you know better though?' said Bella. 'Do you really believe +you know better? Oh, I should be so glad if you did know better, +but I am so very much afraid that I must know best!' + +Lizzie asked her, laughing outright, whether she ever saw her own +face or heard her own voice? + +'I suppose so,' returned Bella; 'I look in the glass often enough, and +I chatter like a Magpie.' + +'I have seen your face, and heard your voice, at any rate,' said +Lizzie, 'and they have tempted me to say to you--with a certainty of +not going wrong--what I thought I should never say to any one. +Does that look ill?' + +'No, I hope it doesn't,' pouted Bella, stopping herself in something +between a humoured laugh and a humoured sob. + +'I used once to see pictures in the fire,' said Lizzie playfully, 'to +please my brother. Shall I tell you what I see down there where the +fire is glowing?' + +They had risen, and were standing on the hearth, the time being +come for separating; each had drawn an arm around the other to +take leave. + +'Shall I tell you,' asked Lizzie, 'what I see down there?' + +'Limited little b?' suggested Bella with her eyebrows raised. + +'A heart well worth winning, and well won. A heart that, once +won, goes through fire and water for the winner, and never +changes, and is never daunted.' + +'Girl's heart?' asked Bella, with accompanying eyebrows. Lizzie +nodded. 'And the figure to which it belongs--' + +Is yours,' suggested Bella. + +'No. Most clearly and distinctly yours.' + +So the interview terminated with pleasant words on both sides, and +with many reminders on the part of Bella that they were friends, +and pledges that she would soon come down into that part of the +country again. There with Lizzie returned to her occupation, and +Bella ran over to the little inn to rejoin her company. + +'You look rather serious, Miss Wilfer,' was the Secretary's first +remark. + +'I feel rather serious,' returned Miss Wilfer. + +She had nothing else to tell him but that Lizzie Hexam's secret had +no reference whatever to the cruel charge, or its withdrawal. Oh +yes though! said Bella; she might as well mention one other thing; +Lizzie was very desirous to thank her unknown friend who had +sent her the written retractation. Was she, indeed? observed the +Secretary. Ah! Bella asked him, had he any notion who that +unknown friend might be? He had no notion whatever. + +They were on the borders of Oxfordshire, so far had poor old Betty +Higden strayed. They were to return by the train presently, and, the +station being near at hand, the Reverend Frank and Mrs Frank, and +Sloppy and Bella and the Secretary, set out to walk to it. Few +rustic paths are wide enough for five, and Bella and the Secretary +dropped behind. + +'Can you believe, Mr Rokesmith,' said Bella, 'that I feel as if whole +years had passed since I went into Lizzie Hexam's cottage?' + +'We have crowded a good deal into the day,' he returned, 'and you +were much affected in the churchyard. You are over-tired.' + +'No, I am not at all tired. I have not quite expressed what I mean. +I don't mean that I feel as if a great space of time had gone by, but +that I feel as if much had happened--to myself, you know.' + +'For good, I hope?' + +'I hope so,' said Bella. + +'You are cold; I felt you tremble. Pray let me put this wrapper of +mine about you. May I fold it over this shoulder without injuring +your dress? Now, it will be too heavy and too long. Let me carry +this end over my arm, as you have no arm to give me.' + +Yes she had though. How she got it out, in her muffled state, +Heaven knows; but she got it out somehow--there it was--and +slipped it through the Secretary's. + +'I have had a long and interesting talk with Lizzie, Mr Rokesmith, +and she gave me her full confidence.' + +'She could not withhold it,' said the Secretary. + +'I wonder how you come,' said Bella, stopping short as she glanced +at him, 'to say to me just what she said about it!' + +'I infer that it must be because I feel just as she felt about it.' + +'And how was that, do you mean to say, sir?' asked Bella, moving +again. + +'That if you were inclined to win her confidence--anybody's +confidence--you were sure to do it.' + +The railway, at this point, knowingly shutting a green eye and +opening a red one, they had to run for it. As Bella could not run +easily so wrapped up, the Secretary had to help her. When she +took her opposite place in the carriage corner, the brightness in her +face was so charming to behold, that on her exclaiming, 'What +beautiful stars and what a glorious night!' the Secretary said 'Yes,' +but seemed to prefer to see the night and the stars in the light of her +lovely little countenance, to looking out of window. + +O boofer lady, fascinating boofer lady! If I were but legally +executor of Johnny's will! If I had but the right to pay your legacy +and to take your receipt!--Something to this purpose surely +mingled with the blast of the train as it cleared the stations, all +knowingly shutting up their green eyes and opening their red ones +when they prepared to let the boofer lady pass. + + + +Chapter 10 + +SCOUTS OUT + + +'And so, Miss Wren,' said Mr Eugene Wrayburn, 'I cannot +persuade you to dress me a doll?' + +'No,' replied Miss Wren snappishly; 'if you want one, go and buy +one at the shop.' + +'And my charming young goddaughter,' said Mr Wrayburn +plaintively, 'down in Hertfordshire--' + +('Humbugshire you mean, I think,' interposed Miss Wren.) + +'--is to be put upon the cold footing of the general public, and is to +derive no advantage from my private acquaintance with the Court +Dressmaker?' + +'If it's any advantage to your charming godchild--and oh, a +precious godfather she has got!'--replied Miss Wren, pricking at +him in the air with her needle, 'to be informed that the Court +Dressmaker knows your tricks and your manners, you may tell her +so by post, with my compliments.' + +Miss Wren was busy at her work by candle-light, and Mr +Wrayburn, half amused and half vexed, and all idle and shiftless, +stood by her bench looking on. Miss Wren's troublesome child +was in the corner in deep disgrace, and exhibiting great +wretchedness in the shivering stage of prostration from drink. + +'Ugh, you disgraceful boy!' exclaimed Miss Wren, attracted by the +sound of his chattering teeth, 'I wish they'd all drop down your +throat and play at dice in your stomach! Boh, wicked child! Bee- +baa, black sheep!' + +On her accompanying each of these reproaches with a threatening +stamp of the foot, the wretched creature protested with a whine. + +'Pay five shillings for you indeed!' Miss Wren proceeded; 'how +many hours do you suppose it costs me to earn five shillings, you +imfamous boy?--Don't cry like that, or I'll throw a doll at you. Pay +five shillings fine for you indeed. Fine in more ways than one, I +think! I'd give the dustman five shillings, to carry you off in the +dust cart.' + +'No, no,' pleaded the absurd creature. 'Please!' + +'He's enough to break his mother's heart, is this boy,' said Miss +Wren, half appealing to Eugene. 'I wish I had never brought him +up. He'd be sharper than a serpent's tooth, if he wasn't as dull as +ditch water. Look at him. There's a pretty object for a parent's +eyes!' + +Assuredly, in his worse than swinish state (for swine at least fatten +on their guzzling, and make themselves good to eat), he was a +pretty object for any eyes. + +'A muddling and a swipey old child,' said Miss Wren, rating him +with great severity, 'fit for nothing but to be preserved in the liquor +that destroys him, and put in a great glass bottle as a sight for other +swipey children of his own pattern,--if he has no consideration for +his liver, has he none for his mother?' + +'Yes. Deration, oh don't!' cried the subject of these angry remarks. + +'Oh don't and oh don't,' pursued Miss Wren. 'It's oh do and oh do. +And why do you?' + +'Won't do so any more. Won't indeed. Pray!' + +'There!' said Miss Wren, covering her eyes with her hand. 'I can't +bear to look at you. Go up stairs and get me my bonnet and shawl. +Make yourself useful in some way, bad boy, and let me have your +room instead of your company, for one half minute.' + +Obeying her, he shambled out, and Eugene Wrayburn saw the +tears exude from between the little creature's fingers as she kept +her hand before her eyes. He was sorry, but his sympathy did not +move his carelessness to do anything but feel sorry. + +'I'm going to the Italian Opera to try on,' said Miss Wren, taking +away her hand after a little while, and laughing satirically to hide +that she had been crying; 'I must see your back before I go, Mr +Wrayburn. Let me first tell you, once for all, that it's of no use your +paying visits to me. You wouldn't get what you want, of me, no, +not if you brought pincers with you to tear it out.' + +'Are you so obstinate on the subject of a doll's dress for my +godchild?' + +'Ah!' returned Miss Wren with a hitch of her chin, 'I am so +obstinate. And of course it's on the subject of a doll's dress--or +ADdress--whichever you like. Get along and give it up!' + +Her degraded charge had come back, and was standing behind her +with the bonnet and shawl. + +'Give 'em to me and get back into your corner, you naughty old +thing!' said Miss Wren, as she turned and espied him. 'No, no, I +won't have your help. Go into your corner, this minute!' + +The miserable man, feebly rubbing the back of his faltering hands +downward from the wrists, shuffled on to his post of disgrace; but +not without a curious glance at Eugene in passing him, +accompanied with what seemed as if it might have been an action +of his elbow, if any action of any limb or joint he had, would have +answered truly to his will. Taking no more particular notice of him +than instinctively falling away from the disagreeable contact, +Eugene, with a lazy compliment or so to Miss Wren, begged leave +to light his cigar, and departed. + +'Now you prodigal old son,' said Jenny, shaking her head and her +emphatic little forefinger at her burden, 'you sit there till I come +back. You dare to move out of your corner for a single instant +while I'm gone, and I'll know the reason why.' + +With this admonition, she blew her work candles out, leaving him +to the light of the fire, and, taking her big door-key in her pocket +and her crutch-stick in her hand, marched off. + +Eugene lounged slowly towards the Temple, smoking his cigar, +but saw no more of the dolls' dressmaker, through the accident of +their taking opposite sides of the street. He lounged along +moodily, and stopped at Charing Cross to look about him, with as +little interest in the crowd as any man might take, and was +lounging on again, when a most unexpected object caught his eyes. +No less an object than Jenny Wren's bad boy trying to make up his +mind to cross the road. + +A more ridiculous and feeble spectacle than this tottering wretch +making unsteady sallies into the roadway, and as often staggering +back again, oppressed by terrors of vehicles that were a long way +off or were nowhere, the streets could not have shown. Over and +over again, when the course was perfectly clear, he set out, got half +way, described a loop, turned, and went back again; when he +might have crossed and re-crossed half a dozen times. Then, he +would stand shivering on the edge of the pavement, looking up the +street and looking down, while scores of people jostled him, and +crossed, and went on. Stimulated in course of time by the sight of +so many successes, he would make another sally, make another +loop, would all but have his foot on the opposite pavement, would +see or imagine something coming, and would stagger back again. +There, he would stand making spasmodic preparations as if for a +great leap, and at last would decide on a start at precisely the +wrong moment, and would be roared at by drivers, and would +shrink back once more, and stand in the old spot shivering, with +the whole of the proceedings to go through again. + +'It strikes me,' remarked Eugene coolly, after watching him for +some minutes, 'that my friend is likely to be rather behind time if +he has any appointment on hand.' With which remark he strolled +on, and took no further thought of him. + +Lightwood was at home when he got to the Chambers, and had +dined alone there. Eugene drew a chair to the fire by which he was +having his wine and reading the evening paper, and brought a +glass, and filled it for good fellowship's sake. + +'My dear Mortimer, you are the express picture of contented +industry, reposing (on credit) after the virtuous labours of the day.' + +'My dear Eugene, you are the express picture of discontented +idleness not reposing at all. Where have you been?' + +'I have been,' replied Wrayburn, '--about town. I have turned up at +the present juncture, with the intention of consulting my highly +intelligent and respected solicitor on the position of my affairs.' + +'Your highly intelligent and respect solicitor is of opinion that your +affairs are in a bad way, Eugene.' + +'Though whether,' said Eugene thoughtfully, 'that can be +intelligently said, now, of the affairs of a client who has nothing to +lose and who cannot possibly be made to pay, may be open to +question.' + +'You have fallen into the hands of the Jews, Eugene.' + +'My dear boy,' returned the debtor, very composedly taking up his +glass, 'having previously fallen into the hands of some of the +Christians, I can bear it with philosophy.' + +'I have had an interview to-day, Eugene, with a Jew, who seems +determined to press us hard. Quite a Shylock, and quite a +Patriarch. A picturesque grey-headed and grey-bearded old Jew, in +a shovel-hat and gaberdine.' + +'Not,' said Eugene, pausing in setting down his glass, 'surely not +my worthy friend Mr Aaron?' + +'He calls himself Mr Riah.' + +'By-the-by,' said Eugene, 'it comes into my mind that--no doubt +with an instinctive desire to receive him into the bosom of our +Church--I gave him the name of Aaron!' + +'Eugene, Eugene,' returned Lightwood, 'you are more ridiculous +than usual. Say what you mean.' + +'Merely, my dear fellow, that I have the honour and pleasure of a +speaking acquaintance with such a Patriarch as you describe, and +that I address him as Mr Aaron, because it appears to me Hebraic, +expressive, appropriate, and complimentary. Notwithstanding +which strong reasons for its being his name, it may not be his +name.' + +'I believe you are the absurdest man on the face of the earth,' said +Lightwood, laughing. + +'Not at all, I assure you. Did he mention that he knew me?' + +'He did not. He only said of you that he expected to be paid by +you.' + +'Which looks,' remarked Eugene with much gravity, 'like NOT +knowing me. I hope it may not be my worthy friend Mr Aaron, +for, to tell you the truth, Mortimer, I doubt he may have a +prepossession against me. I strongly suspect him of having had a +hand in spiriting away Lizzie.' + +'Everything,' returned Lightwood impatiently, 'seems, by a fatality, +to bring us round to Lizzie. "About town" meant about Lizzie, just +now, Eugene.' + +'My solicitor, do you know,' observed Eugene, turning round to the +furniture, 'is a man of infinite discernment!' + +'Did it not, Eugene?' + +'Yes it did, Mortimer.' + +'And yet, Eugene, you know you do not really care for her.' + +Eugene Wrayburn rose, and put his hands in his pockets, and stood +with a foot on the fender, indolently rocking his body and looking +at the fire. After a prolonged pause, he replied: 'I don't know that. +I must ask you not to say that, as if we took it for granted.' + +'But if you do care for her, so much the more should you leave her +to herself.' + +Having again paused as before, Eugene said: 'I don't know that, +either. But tell me. Did you ever see me take so much trouble +about anything, as about this disappearance of hers? I ask, for +information.' + +'My dear Eugene, I wish I ever had!' + +'Then you have not? Just so. You confirm my own impression. +Does that look as if I cared for her? I ask, for information.' + +'I asked YOU for information, Eugene,' said Mortimer +reproachfully. + +'Dear boy, I know it, but I can't give it. I thirst for information. +What do I mean? If my taking so much trouble to recover her does +not mean that I care for her, what does it mean? "If Peter Piper +picked a peck of pickled pepper, where's the peck," &c.?' + +Though he said this gaily, he said it with a perplexed and +inquisitive face, as if he actually did not know what to make of +himself. 'Look on to the end--' Lightwood was beginning to +remonstrate, when he caught at the words: + +'Ah! See now! That's exactly what I am incapable of doing. How +very acute you are, Mortimer, in finding my weak place! When we +were at school together, I got up my lessons at the last moment, +day by day and bit by bit; now we are out in life together, I get up +my lessons in the same way. In the present task I have not got +beyond this:--I am bent on finding Lizzie, and I mean to find her, +and I will take any means of finding her that offer themselves. Fair +means or foul means, are all alike to me. I ask you--for +information--what does that mean? When I have found her I may +ask you--also for information--what do I mean now? But it would +be premature in this stage, and it's not the character of my mind.' + +Lightwood was shaking his head over the air with which his friend +held forth thus--an air so whimsically open and argumentative as +almost to deprive what he said of the appearance of evasion--when +a shuffling was heard at the outer door, and then an undecided +knock, as though some hand were groping for the knocker. 'The +frolicsome youth of the neighbourhood,' said Eugene, 'whom I +should be delighted to pitch from this elevation into the churchyard +below, without any intermediate ceremonies, have probably turned +the lamp out. I am on duty to-night, and will see to the door.' + +His friend had barely had time to recall the unprecedented gleam of +determination with which he had spoken of finding this girl, and +which had faded out of him with the breath of the spoken words, +when Eugene came back, ushering in a most disgraceful shadow of +a man, shaking from head to foot, and clothed in shabby grease +and smear. + +'This interesting gentleman,' said Eugene, 'is the son--the +occasionally rather trying son, for he has his failings--of a lady of +my acquaintance. My dear Mortimer--Mr Dolls.' Eugene had no +idea what his name was, knowing the little dressmaker's to be +assumed, but presented him with easy confidence under the first +appellation that his associations suggested. + +'I gather, my dear Mortimer,' pursued Eugene, as Lightwood stared +at the obscene visitor, 'from the manner of Mr Dolls--which is +occasionally complicated--that he desires to make some +communication to me. I have mentioned to Mr Dolls that you and +I are on terms of confidence, and have requested Mr Dolls to +develop his views here.' + +The wretched object being much embarrassed by holding what +remained of his hat, Eugene airily tossed it to the door, and put him +down in a chair. + +'It will be necessary, I think,' he observed, 'to wind up Mr Dolls, +before anything to any mortal purpose can be got out of him. +Brandy, Mr Dolls, or--?' + +'Threepenn'orth Rum,' said Mr Dolls. + +A judiciously small quantity of the spirit was given him in a wine- +glass, and he began to convey it to his mouth, with all kinds of +falterings and gyrations on the road. + +'The nerves of Mr Dolls,' remarked Eugene to Lightwood, 'are +considerably unstrung. And I deem it on the whole expedient to +fumigate Mr Dolls.' + +He took the shovel from the grate, sprinkled a few live ashes on it, +and from a box on the chimney-piece took a few pastiles, which he +set upon them; then, with great composure began placidly waving +the shovel in front of Mr Dolls, to cut him off from his company. + +'Lord bless my soul, Eugene!' cried Lightwood, laughing again, +'what a mad fellow you are! Why does this creature come to see +you?' + +'We shall hear,' said Wrayburn, very observant of his face withal. +'Now then. Speak out. Don't be afraid. State your business, +Dolls.' + +'Mist Wrayburn!' said the visitor, thickly and huskily. '--'TIS Mist +Wrayburn, ain't?' With a stupid stare. + +'Of course it is. Look at me. What do you want?' + +Mr Dolls collapsed in his chair, and faintly said 'Threepenn'orth +Rum.' + +'Will you do me the favour, my dear Mortimer, to wind up Mr +Dolls again?' said Eugene. 'I am occupied with the fumigation.' + +A similar quantity was poured into his glass, and he got it to his +lips by similar circuitous ways. Having drunk it, Mr Dolls, with +an evident fear of running down again unless he made haste, +proceeded to business. + +'Mist Wrayburn. Tried to nudge you, but you wouldn't. You want +that drection. You want t'know where she lives. DO you Mist +Wrayburn?' + +With a glance at his friend, Eugene replied to the question sternly, +'I do.' + +'I am er man,' said Mr Dolls, trying to smite himself on the breast, +but bringing his hand to bear upon the vicinity of his eye, 'er do it. +I am er man er do it.' + +'What are you the man to do?' demanded Eugene, still sternly. + +'Er give up that drection.' + +'Have you got it?' + +With a most laborious attempt at pride and dignity, Mr Dolls +rolled his head for some time, awakening the highest expectations, +and then answered, as if it were the happiest point that could +possibly be expected of him: 'No.' + +'What do you mean then?' + +Mr Dolls, collapsing in the drowsiest manner after his late +intellectual triumph, replied: 'Threepenn'orth Rum.' + +'Wind him up again, my dear Mortimer,' said Wrayburn; 'wind him +up again.' + +'Eugene, Eugene,' urged Lightwood in a low voice, as he complied, +'can you stoop to the use of such an instrument as this?' + +'I said,' was the reply, made with that former gleam of +determination, 'that I would find her out by any means, fair or foul. +These are foul, and I'll take them--if I am not first tempted to break +the head of Mr Dolls with the fumigator. Can you get the +direction? Do you mean that? Speak! If that's what you have +come for, say how much you want.' + +'Ten shillings--Threepenn'orths Rum,' said Mr Dolls. + +'You shall have it.' + +'Fifteen shillings--Threepenn'orths Rum,' said Mr Dolls, making an +attempt to stiffen himself. + +'You shall have it. Stop at that. How will you get the direction you +talk of?' + +'I am er man,' said Mr Dolls, with majesty, 'er get it, sir.' + +'How will you get it, I ask you?' + +'I am ill-used vidual,' said Mr Dolls. 'Blown up morning t'night. +Called names. She makes Mint money, sir, and never stands +Threepenn'orth Rum.' + +'Get on,' rejoined Eugene, tapping his palsied head with the fire- +shovel, as it sank on his breast. 'What comes next?' + +Making a dignified attempt to gather himself together, but, as it +were, dropping half a dozen pieces of himself while he tried in vain +to pick up one, Mr Dolls, swaying his head from side to side, +regarded his questioner with what he supposed to be a haughty +smile and a scornful glance. + +'She looks upon me as mere child, sir. I am NOT mere child, sir. +Man. Man talent. Lerrers pass betwixt 'em. Postman lerrers. +Easy for man talent er get drection, as get his own drection.' + +'Get it then,' said Eugene; adding very heartily under his breath, +'--You Brute! Get it, and bring it here to me, and earn the money for +sixty threepenn'orths of rum, and drink them all, one a top of +another, and drink yourself dead with all possible expedition.' The +latter clauses of these special instructions he addressed to the fire, +as he gave it back the ashes he had taken from it, and replaced the +shovel. + +Mr Dolls now struck out the highly unexpected discovery that he +had been insulted by Lightwood, and stated his desire to 'have it +out with him' on the spot, and defied him to come on, upon the +liberal terms of a sovereign to a halfpenny. Mr Dolls then fell a +crying, and then exhibited a tendency to fall asleep. This last +manifestation as by far the most alarming, by reason of its +threatening his prolonged stay on the premises, necessitated +vigorous measures. Eugene picked up his worn-out hat with the +tongs, clapped it on his head, and, taking him by the collar--all this +at arm's length--conducted him down stairs and out of the precincts +into Fleet Street. There, he turned his face westward, and left him. + +When he got back, Lightwood was standing over the fire, brooding +in a sufficiently low-spirited manner. + +'I'll wash my hands of Mr Dolls physically--' said Eugene, 'and be +with you again directly, Mortimer.' + +'I would much prefer,' retorted Mortimer, 'your washing your hands +of Mr Dolls, morally, Eugene.' + +'So would I,' said Eugene; 'but you see, dear boy, I can't do without +him.' + +In a minute or two he resumed his chair, as perfectly unconcerned +as usual, and rallied his friend on having so narrowly escaped the +prowess of their muscular visitor. + +'I can't be amused on this theme,' said Mortimer, restlessly. 'You +can make almost any theme amusing to me, Eugene, but not this.' + +'Well!' cried Eugene, 'I am a little ashamed of it myself, and +therefore let us change the subject.' + +'It is so deplorably underhanded,' said Mortimer. 'It is so unworthy +of you, this setting on of such a shameful scout.' + +'We have changed the subject!' exclaimed Eugene, airily. 'We have +found a new one in that word, scout. Don't be like Patience on a +mantelpiece frowning at Dolls, but sit down, and I'll tell you +something that you really will find amusing. Take a cigar. Look +at this of mine. I light it--draw one puff--breathe the smoke out-- +there it goes--it's Dolls!--it's gone--and being gone you are a man +again.' + +'Your subject,' said Mortimer, after lighting a cigar, and +comforting himself with a whiff or two, 'was scouts, Eugene.' + +'Exactly. Isn't it droll that I never go out after dark, but I find +myself attended, always by one scout, and often by two?' + +Lightwood took his cigar from his lips in surprise, and looked at +his friend, as if with a latent suspicion that there must be a jest or +hidden meaning in his words. + +'On my honour, no,' said Wrayburn, answering the look and +smiling carelessly; 'I don't wonder at your supposing so, but on my +honour, no. I say what I mean. I never go out after dark, but I find +myself in the ludicrous situation of being followed and observed at +a distance, always by one scout, and often by two.' + +'Are you sure, Eugene?' + +'Sure? My dear boy, they are always the same.' + +'But there's no process out against you. The Jews only threaten. +They have done nothing. Besides, they know where to find you, +and I represent you. Why take the trouble?' + +'Observe the legal mind!' remarked Eugene, turning round to the +furniture again, with an air of indolent rapture. 'Observe the dyer's +hand, assimilating itself to what it works in,--or would work in, if +anybody would give it anything to do. Respected solicitor, it's not +that. The schoolmaster's abroad.' + +'The schoolmaster?' + +'Ay! Sometimes the schoolmaster and the pupil are both abroad. +Why, how soon you rust in my absence! You don't understand yet? +Those fellows who were here one night. They are the scouts I +speak of, as doing me the honour to attend me after dark.' + +'How long has this been going on?' asked Lightwood, opposing a +serious face to the laugh of his friend. + +'I apprehend it has been going on, ever since a certain person went +off. Probably, it had been going on some little time before I +noticed it: which would bring it to about that time.' + +'Do you think they suppose you to have inveigled her away?' + +'My dear Mortimer, you know the absorbing nature of my +professional occupations; I really have not had leisure to think +about it.' + +'Have you asked them what they want? Have you objected?' + +'Why should I ask them what they want, dear fellow, when I am +indifferent what they want? Why should I express objection, when +I don't object?' + +'You are in your most reckless mood. But you called the situation +just now, a ludicrous one; and most men object to that, even those +who are utterly indifferent to everything else.' + +'You charm me, Mortimer, with your reading of my weaknesses. +(By-the-by, that very word, Reading, in its critical use, always +charms me. An actress's Reading of a chambermaid, a dancer's +Reading of a hornpipe, a singer's Reading of a song, a marine +painter's Reading of the sea, the kettle-drum's Reading of an +instrumental passage, are phrases ever youthful and delightful.) I +was mentioning your perception of my weaknesses. I own to the +weakness of objecting to occupy a ludicrous position, and therefore +I transfer the position to the scouts.' + +'I wish, Eugene, you would speak a little more soberly and plainly, +if it were only out of consideration for my feeling less at ease than +you do.' + +'Then soberly and plainly, Mortimer, I goad the schoolmaster to +madness. I make the schoolmaster so ridiculous, and so aware of +being made ridiculous, that I see him chafe and fret at every pore +when we cross one another. The amiable occupation has been the +solace of my life, since I was baulked in the manner unnecessary to +recall. I have derived inexpressible comfort from it. I do it thus: I +stroll out after dark, stroll a little way, look in at a window and +furtively look out for the schoolmaster. Sooner or later, I perceive +the schoolmaster on the watch; sometimes accompanied by his +hopeful pupil; oftener, pupil-less. Having made sure of his +watching me, I tempt him on, all over London. One night I go +east, another night north, in a few nights I go all round the +compass. Sometimes, I walk; sometimes, I proceed in cabs, +draining the pocket of the schoolmaster who then follows in cabs. +I study and get up abstruse No Thoroughfares in the course of the +day. With Venetian mystery I seek those No Thoroughfares at +night, glide into them by means of dark courts, tempt the +schoolmaster to follow, turn suddenly, and catch him before he can +retreat. Then we face one another, and I pass him as unaware of +his existence, and he undergoes grinding torments. Similarly, I +walk at a great pace down a short street, rapidly turn the corner, +and, getting out of his view, as rapidly turn back. I catch him +coming on post, again pass him as unaware of his existence, and +again he undergoes grinding torments. Night after night his +disappointment is acute, but hope springs eternal in the scholastic +breast, and he follows me again to-morrow. Thus I enjoy the +pleasures of the chase, and derive great benefit from the healthful +exercise. When I do not enjoy the pleasures of the chase, for +anything I know he watches at the Temple Gate all night.' + +'This is an extraordinary story,' observed Lightwood, who had +heard it out with serious attention. 'I don't like it.' + +'You are a little hipped, dear fellow,' said Eugene; 'you have been +too sedentary. Come and enjoy the pleasures of the chase.' + +'Do you mean that you believe he is watching now?' + +'I have not the slightest doubt he is.' + +'Have you seen him to-night?' + +'I forgot to look for him when I was last out,' returned Eugene with +the calmest indifference; 'but I dare say he was there. Come! Be a +British sportsman and enjoy the pleasures of the chase. It will do +you good.' + +Lightwood hesitated; but, yielding to his curiosity, rose. + +'Bravo!' cried Eugene, rising too. 'Or, if Yoicks would be in better +keeping, consider that I said Yoicks. Look to your feet, Mortimer, +for we shall try your boots. When you are ready, I am--need I say +with a Hey Ho Chivey, and likewise with a Hark Forward, Hark +Forward, Tantivy?' + +'Will nothing make you serious?' said Mortimer, laughing through +his gravity. + +'I am always serious, but just now I am a little excited by the +glorious fact that a southerly wind and a cloudy sky proclaim a +hunting evening. Ready? So. We turn out the lamp and shut the +door, and take the field.' + +As the two friends passed out of the Temple into the public street, +Eugene demanded with a show of courteous patronage in which +direction Mortimer would you like the run to be? 'There is a rather +difficult country about Bethnal Green,' said Eugene, 'and we have +not taken in that direction lately. What is your opinion of Bethnal +Green?' Mortimer assented to Bethnal Green, and they turned +eastward. 'Now, when we come to St Paul's churchyard,' pursued +Eugene, 'we'll loiter artfully, and I'll show you the schoolmaster.' +But, they both saw him, before they got there; alone, and stealing +after them in the shadow of the houses, on the opposite side of the +way. + +'Get your wind,' said Eugene, 'for I am off directly. Does it occur +to you that the boys of Merry England will begin to deteriorate in +an educational light, if this lasts long? The schoolmaster can't +attend to me and the boys too. Got your wind? I am off!' + +At what a rate he went, to breathe the schoolmaster; and how he +then lounged and loitered, to put his patience to another kind of +wear; what preposterous ways he took, with no other object on +earth than to disappoint and punish him; and how he wore him out +by every piece of ingenuity that his eccentric humour could devise; +all this Lightwood noted, with a feeling of astonishment that so +careless a man could be so wary, and that so idle a man could take +so much trouble. At last, far on in the third hour of the pleasures +of the chase, when he had brought the poor dogging wretch round +again into the City, he twisted Mortimer up a few dark entries, +twisted him into a little square court, twisted him sharp round +again, and they almost ran against Bradley Headstone. + +'And you see, as I was saying, Mortimer,' remarked Eugene aloud +with the utmost coolness, as though there were no one within +hearing by themselves: 'and you see, as I was saying--undergoing +grinding torments.' + +It was not too strong a phrase for the occasion. Looking like the +hunted and not the hunter, baffled, worn, with the exhaustion of +deferred hope and consuming hate and anger in his face, white- +lipped, wild-eyed, draggle-haired, seamed with jealousy and anger, +and torturing himself with the conviction that he showed it all and +they exulted in it, he went by them in the dark, like a haggard head +suspended in the air: so completely did the force of his expression +cancel his figure. + +Mortimer Lightwood was not an extraordinarily impressible man, +but this face impressed him. He spoke of it more than once on the +remainder of the way home, and more than once when they got +home. + +They had been abed in their respective rooms two or three hours, +when Eugene was partly awakened by hearing a footstep going +about, and was fully awakened by seeing Lightwood standing at +his bedside. + +'Nothing wrong, Mortimer?' + +'No.' + +'What fancy takes you, then, for walking about in the night?' + +'I am horribly wakeful.' + +'How comes that about, I wonder!' + +'Eugene, I cannot lose sight of that fellow's face.' + +'Odd!' said Eugene with a light laugh, 'I can.' And turned over, +and fell asleep again. + + + +Chapter 11 + +IN THE DARK + + +There was no sleep for Bradley Headstone on that night when +Eugene Wrayburn turned so easily in his bed; there was no sleep +for little Miss Peecher. Bradley consumed the lonely hours, and +consumed himself in haunting the spot where his careless rival lay +a dreaming; little Miss Peecher wore them away in listening for the +return home of the master of her heart, and in sorrowfully +presaging that much was amiss with him. Yet more was amiss +with him than Miss Peecher's simply arranged little work-box of +thoughts, fitted with no gloomy and dark recesses, could hold. +For, the state of the man was murderous. + +The state of the man was murderous, and he knew it. More; he +irritated it, with a kind of perverse pleasure akin to that which a +sick man sometimes has in irritating a wound upon his body. Tied +up all day with his disciplined show upon him, subdued to the +performance of his routine of educational tricks, encircled by a +gabbling crowd, he broke loose at night like an ill-tamed wild +animal. Under his daily restraint, it was his compensation, not his +trouble, to give a glance towards his state at night, and to the +freedom of its being indulged. If great criminals told the truth-- +which, being great criminals, they do not--they would very rarely +tell of their struggles against the crime. Their struggles are +towards it. They buffet with opposing waves, to gain the bloody +shore, not to recede from it. This man perfectly comprehended that +he hated his rival with his strongest and worst forces, and that if he +tracked him to Lizzie Hexam, his so doing would never serve +himself with her, or serve her. All his pains were taken, to the end +that he might incense himself with the sight of the detested figure +in her company and favour, in her place of concealment. And he +knew as well what act of his would follow if he did, as he knew +that his mother had borne him. Granted, that he may not have held +it necessary to make express mention to himself of the one familiar +truth any more than of the other. + +He knew equally well that he fed his wrath and hatred, and that he +accumulated provocation and self-justification, by being made the +nightly sport of the reckless and insolent Eugene. Knowing all +this,--and still always going on with infinite endurance, pains, and +perseverance, could his dark soul doubt whither he went? + +Baffled, exasperated, and weary, he lingered opposite the Temple +gate when it closed on Wrayburn and Lightwood, debating with +himself should he go home for that time or should he watch longer. +Possessed in his jealousy by the fixed idea that Wrayburn was in +the secret, if it were not altogether of his contriving, Bradley was +as confident of getting the better of him at last by sullenly sticking +to him, as he would have been--and often had been--of mastering +any piece of study in the way of his vocation, by the like slow +persistent process. A man of rapid passions and sluggish +intelligence, it had served him often and should serve him again. + +The suspicion crossed him as he rested in a doorway with his eyes +upon the Temple gate, that perhaps she was even concealed in that +set of Chambers. It would furnish another reason for Wrayburn's +purposeless walks, and it might be. He thought of it and thought +of it, until he resolved to steal up the stairs, if the gatekeeper would +let him through, and listen. So, the haggard head suspended in the +air flitted across the road, like the spectre of one of the many heads +erst hoisted upon neighbouring Temple Bar, and stopped before the +watchman. + +The watchman looked at it, and asked: 'Who for?' + +'Mr Wrayburn.' + +'It's very late.' + +'He came back with Mr Lightwood, I know, near upon two hours +ago. But if he has gone to bed, I'll put a paper in his letter-box. I +am expected.' + +The watchman said no more, but opened the gate, though rather +doubtfully. Seeing, however, that the visitor went straight and fast +in the right direction, he seemed satisfied. + +The haggard head floated up the dark staircase, and softly +descended nearer to the floor outside the outer door of the +chambers. The doors of the rooms within, appeared to be standing +open. There were rays of candlelight from one of them, and there +was the sound of a footstep going about. There were two voices. +The words they uttered were not distinguishable, but they were +both the voices of men. In a few moments the voices were silent, +and there was no sound of footstep, and the inner light went out. If +Lightwood could have seen the face which kept him awake, staring +and listening in the darkness outside the door as he spoke of it, he +might have been less disposed to sleep, through the remainder of +the night. + +'Not there,' said Bradley; 'but she might have been.' The head +arose to its former height from the ground, floated down the stair- +case again, and passed on to the gate. A man was standing there, +in parley with the watchman. + +'Oh!' said the watchman. 'Here he is!' + +Perceiving himself to be the antecedent, Bradley looked from the +watchman to the man. + +'This man is leaving a letter for Mr Lightwood,' the watchman +explained, showing it in his hand; 'and I was mentioning that a +person had just gone up to Mr Lightwood's chambers. It might be +the same business perhaps?' + +'No,' said Bradley, glancing at the man, who was a stranger to him. + +'No,' the man assented in a surly way; 'my letter--it's wrote by my +daughter, but it's mine--is about my business, and my business +ain't nobody else's business.' + +As Bradley passed out at the gate with an undecided foot, he heard +it shut behind him, and heard the footstep of the man coming after +him. + +''Scuse me,' said the man, who appeared to have been drinking and +rather stumbled at him than touched him, to attract his attention: +'but might you be acquainted with the T'other Governor?' + +'With whom?' asked Bradley. + +'With,' returned the man, pointing backward over his right shoulder +with his right thumb, 'the T'other Governor?' + +'I don't know what you mean.' + +'Why look here,' hooking his proposition on his left-hand fingers +with the forefinger of his right. 'There's two Governors, ain't there? +One and one, two--Lawyer Lightwood, my first finger, he's one, +ain't he? Well; might you be acquainted with my middle finger, +the T'other?' + +'I know quite as much of him,' said Bradley, with a frown and a +distant look before him, 'as I want to know.' + +'Hooroar!' cried the man. 'Hooroar T'other t'other Governor. +Hooroar T'otherest Governor! I am of your way of thinkin'.' + +'Don't make such a noise at this dead hour of the night. What are +you talking about?' + +'Look here, T'otherest Governor,' replied the man, becoming +hoarsely confidential. 'The T'other Governor he's always joked his +jokes agin me, owing, as I believe, to my being a honest man as +gets my living by the sweat of my brow. Which he ain't, and he +don't.' + +'What is that to me?' + +'T'otherest Governor,' returned the man in a tone of injured +innocence, 'if you don't care to hear no more, don't hear no more. +You begun it. You said, and likeways showed pretty plain, as you +warn't by no means friendly to him. But I don't seek to force my +company nor yet my opinions on no man. I am a honest man, +that's what I am. Put me in the dock anywhere--I don't care where +--and I says, "My Lord, I am a honest man." Put me in the witness- +box anywhere--I don't care where--and I says the same to his +lordship, and I kisses the book. I don't kiss my coat-cuff; I kisses +the book.' + +It was not so much in deference to these strong testimonials to +character, as in his restless casting about for any way or help +towards the discovery on which he was concentrated, that Bradley +Headstone replied: 'You needn't take offence. I didn't mean to stop +you. You were too--loud in the open street; that was all.' + +''Totherest Governor,' replied Mr Riderhood, mollified and +mysterious, 'I know wot it is to be loud, and I know wot it is to be +soft. Nat'rally I do. It would be a wonder if I did not, being by the +Chris'en name of Roger, which took it arter my own father, which +took it from his own father, though which of our fam'ly fust took it +nat'ral I will not in any ways mislead you by undertakin' to say. +And wishing that your elth may be better than your looks, which +your inside must be bad indeed if it's on the footing of your out.' + +Startled by the implication that his face revealed too much of his +mind, Bradley made an effort to clear his brow. It might be worth +knowing what this strange man's business was with Lightwood, or +Wrayburn, or both, at such an unseasonable hour. He set himself +to find out, for the man might prove to be a messenger between +those two. + +'You call at the Temple late,' he remarked, with a lumbering show +of ease. + +'Wish I may die,' cried Mr Riderhood, with a hoarse laugh, 'if I +warn't a goin' to say the self-same words to you, T'otherest +Governor!' + +'It chanced so with me,' said Bradley, looking disconcertedly about +him. + +'And it chanced so with me,' said Riderhood. 'But I don't mind +telling you how. Why should I mind telling you? I'm a Deputy +Lock-keeper up the river, and I was off duty yes'day, and I shall be +on to-morrow.' + +'Yes?' + +'Yes, and I come to London to look arter my private affairs. My +private affairs is to get appinted to the Lock as reg'lar keeper at fust +hand, and to have the law of a busted B'low-Bridge steamer which +drownded of me. I ain't a goin' to be drownded and not paid for it!' + +Bradley looked at him, as though he were claiming to be a Ghost. + +'The steamer,' said Mr Riderhood, obstinately, 'run me down and +drownded of me. Interference on the part of other parties brought +me round; but I never asked 'em to bring me round, nor yet the +steamer never asked 'em to it. I mean to be paid for the life as the +steamer took.' + +'Was that your business at Mr Lightwood's chambers in the middle +of the night?' asked Bradley, eyeing him with distrust. + +'That and to get a writing to be fust-hand Lock Keeper. A +recommendation in writing being looked for, who else ought to +give it to me? As I says in the letter in my daughter's hand, with +my mark put to it to make it good in law, Who but you, Lawyer +Lightwood, ought to hand over this here stifficate, and who but you +ought to go in for damages on my account agin the Steamer? For +(as I says under my mark) I have had trouble enough along of you +and your friend. If you, Lawyer Lightwood, had backed me good +and true, and if the T'other Governor had took me down correct (I +says under my mark), I should have been worth money at the +present time, instead of having a barge-load of bad names chucked +at me, and being forced to eat my words, which is a unsatisfying +sort of food wotever a man's appetite! And when you mention the +middle of the night, T'otherest Governor,' growled Mr Riderhood, +winding up his monotonous summary of his wrongs, 'throw your +eye on this here bundle under my arm, and bear in mind that I'm a +walking back to my Lock, and that the Temple laid upon my line of +road.' + +Bradley Headstone's face had changed during this latter recital, and +he had observed the speaker with a more sustained attention. + +'Do you know,' said he, after a pause, during which they walked on +side by side, 'that I believe I could tell you your name, if I tried?' + +'Prove your opinion,' was the answer, accompanied with a stop and +a stare. 'Try.' + +'Your name is Riderhood.' + +'I'm blest if it ain't,' returned that gentleman. 'But I don't know +your'n.' + +'That's quite another thing,' said Bradley. 'I never supposed you +did.' + +As Bradley walked on meditating, the Rogue walked on at his side +muttering. The purport of the muttering was: 'that Rogue +Riderhood, by George! seemed to be made public property on, +now, and that every man seemed to think himself free to handle his +name as if it was a Street Pump.' The purport of the meditating +was: 'Here is an instrument. Can I use it?' + +They had walked along the Strand, and into Pall Mall, and had +turned up-hill towards Hyde Park Corner; Bradley Headstone +waiting on the pace and lead of Riderhood, and leaving him to +indicate the course. So slow were the schoolmaster's thoughts, and +so indistinct his purposes when they were but tributary to the one +absorbing purpose or rather when, like dark trees under a stormy +sky, they only lined the long vista at the end of which he saw those +two figures of Wrayburn and Lizzie on which his eyes were fixed-- +that at least a good half-mile was traversed before he spoke again. +Even then, it was only to ask: + +'Where is your Lock?' + +'Twenty mile and odd--call it five-and-twenty mile and odd, if you +like--up stream,' was the sullen reply. + +'How is it called?' + +'Plashwater Weir Mill Lock.' + +'Suppose I was to offer you five shillings; what then?' + +'Why, then, I'd take it,' said Mr Riderhood. + +The schoolmaster put his hand in his pocket, and produced two +half-crowns, and placed them in Mr Riderhood's palm: who +stopped at a convenient doorstep to ring them both, before +acknowledging their receipt. + +'There's one thing about you, T'otherest Governor,' said Riderhood, +faring on again, 'as looks well and goes fur. You're a ready money +man. Now;' when he had carefully pocketed the coins on that side +of himself which was furthest from his new friend; 'what's this for?' + +'For you.' + +'Why, o' course I know THAT,' said Riderhood, as arguing +something that was self-evident. 'O' course I know very well as no +man in his right senses would suppose as anythink would make +me give it up agin when I'd once got it. But what do you want for it?' + +'I don't know that I want anything for it. Or if I do want anything +for it, I don't know what it is.' Bradley gave this answer in a stolid, +vacant, and self-communing manner, which Mr Riderhood found +very extraordinary. + +'You have no goodwill towards this Wrayburn,' said Bradley, +coming to the name in a reluctant and forced way, as if he were +dragged to it. + +'No.' + +'Neither have I.' + +Riderhood nodded, and asked: 'Is it for that?' + +'It's as much for that as anything else. It's something to be agreed +with, on a subject that occupies so much of one's thoughts.' + +'It don't agree with YOU,' returned Mr Riderhood, bluntly. 'No! It +don't, T'otherest Governor, and it's no use a lookin' as if you +wanted to make out that it did. I tell you it rankles in you. It +rankles in you, rusts in you, and pisons you.' + +'Say that it does so,' returned Bradley with quivering lips; 'is there +no cause for it?' + +'Cause enough, I'll bet a pound!' cried Mr Riderhood. + +'Haven't you yourself declared that the fellow has heaped +provocations, insults, and affronts on you, or something to that +effect? He has done the same by me. He is made of venomous +insults and affronts, from the crown of his head to the sole of his +foot. Are you so hopeful or so stupid, as not to know that he and +the other will treat your application with contempt, and light their +cigars with it?' + +'I shouldn't wonder if they did, by George!' said Riderhood, turning +angry. + +'If they did! They will. Let me ask you a question. I know +something more than your name about you; I knew something +about Gaffer Hexam. When did you last set eyes upon his +daughter?' + +'When did I last set eyes upon his daughter, T'otherest Governor?' +repeated Mr Riderhood, growing intentionally slower of +comprehension as the other quickened in his speech. + +'Yes. Not to speak to her. To see her--anywhere?' + +The Rogue had got the clue he wanted, though he held it with a +clumsy hand. Looking perplexedly at the passionate face, as if he +were trying to work out a sum in his mind, he slowly answered: + +'I ain't set eyes upon her--never once--not since the day of Gaffer's +death.' + +'You know her well, by sight?' + +'I should think I did! No one better.' + +'And you know him as well?' + +'Who's him?' asked Riderhood, taking off his hat and rubbing his +forehead, as he directed a dull look at his questioner. + +'Curse the name! Is it so agreeable to you that you want to hear it +again?' + +'Oh! HIM!' said Riderhood, who had craftily worked the +schoolmaster into this corner, that he might again take note of his +face under its evil possession. 'I'd know HIM among a thousand.' + +'Did you--' Bradley tried to ask it quietly; but, do what he might +with his voice, he could not subdue his face;--'did you ever see +them together?' + +(The Rogue had got the clue in both hands now.) + +'I see 'em together, T'otherest Governor, on the very day when +Gaffer was towed ashore.' + +Bradley could have hidden a reserved piece of information from the +sharp eyes of a whole inquisitive class, but he could not veil from +the eyes of the ignorant Riderhood the withheld question next in +his breast. 'You shall put it plain if you want it answered,' thought +the Rogue, doggedly; 'I ain't a-going a wolunteering.' + +'Well! was he insolent to her too?' asked Bradley after a struggle. +'Or did he make a show of being kind to her?' + +'He made a show of being most uncommon kind to her,' said +Riderhood. 'By George! now I--' + +His flying off at a tangent was indisputably natural. Bradley +looked at him for the reason. + +'Now I think of it,' said Mr Riderhood, evasively, for he was +substituting those words for 'Now I see you so jealous,' which was +the phrase really in his mind; 'P'r'aps he went and took me down +wrong, a purpose, on account o' being sweet upon her!' + +The baseness of confirming him in this suspicion or pretence of +one (for he could not have really entertained it), was a line's +breadth beyond the mark the schoolmaster had reached. The +baseness of communing and intriguing with the fellow who would +have set that stain upon her, and upon her brother too, was +attained. The line's breadth further, lay beyond. He made no reply, +but walked on with a lowering face. + +What he might gain by this acquaintance, he could not work out in +his slow and cumbrous thoughts. The man had an injury against +the object of his hatred, and that was something; though it was less +than he supposed, for there dwelt in the man no such deadly rage +and resentment as burned in his own breast. The man knew her, +and might by a fortunate chance see her, or hear of her; that was +something, as enlisting one pair of eyes and ears the more. The +man was a bad man, and willing enough to be in his pay. That +was something, for his own state and purpose were as bad as bad +could be, and he seemed to derive a vague support from the +possession of a congenial instrument, though it might never be +used. + +Suddenly he stood still, and asked Riderhood point-blank if he +knew where she was? Clearly, he did not know. He asked +Riderhood if he would be willing, in case any intelligence of her, +or of Wrayburn as seeking her or associating with her, should fall +in his way, to communicate it if it were paid for? He would be +very willing indeed. He was 'agin 'em both,' he said with an oath, +and for why? 'Cause they had both stood betwixt him and his +getting his living by the sweat of his brow. + +'It will not be long then,' said Bradley Headstone, after some more +discourse to this effect, 'before we see one another again. Here is +the country road, and here is the day. Both have come upon me by +surprise.' + +'But, T'otherest Governor,' urged Mr Riderhood, 'I don't know +where to find you.' + +'It is of no consequence. I know where to find you, and I'll come to +your Lock.' + +'But, T'otherest Governor,' urged Mr Riderhood again, 'no luck +never come yet of a dry acquaintance. Let's wet it, in a mouth-fill +of rum and milk, T'otherest Governor.' + +Bradley assenting, went with him into an early public-house, +haunted by unsavoury smells of musty hay and stale straw, where +returning carts, farmers' men, gaunt dogs, fowls of a beery breed, +and certain human nightbirds fluttering home to roost, were +solacing themselves after their several manners; and where not one +of the nightbirds hovering about the sloppy bar failed to discern at +a glance in the passion-wasted nightbird with respectable feathers, +the worst nightbird of all. + +An inspiration of affection for a half-drunken carter going his way +led to Mr Riderhood's being elevated on a high heap of baskets on +a waggon, and pursuing his journey recumbent on his back with +his head on his bundle. Bradley then turned to retrace his steps, +and by-and-by struck off through little-traversed ways, and by-and- +by reached school and home. Up came the sun to find him washed +and brushed, methodically dressed in decent black coat and +waistcoat, decent formal black tie, and pepper-and-salt pantaloons, +with his decent silver watch in its pocket, and its decent hair-guard +round his neck: a scholastic huntsman clad for the field, with his +fresh pack yelping and barking around him. + +Yet more really bewitched than the miserable creatures of the +much-lamented times, who accused themselves of impossibilities +under a contagion of horror and the strongly suggestive influences +of Torture, he had been ridden hard by Evil Spirits in the night that +was newly gone. He had been spurred and whipped and heavily +sweated. If a record of the sport had usurped the places of the +peaceful texts from Scripture on the wall, the most advanced of the +scholars might have taken fright and run away from the master. + + + +Chapter 12 + +MEANING MISCHIEF + + +Up came the sun, steaming all over London, and in its glorious +impartiality even condescending to make prismatic sparkles in the +whiskers of Mr Alfred Lammle as he sat at breakfast. In need of +some brightening from without, was Mr Alfred Lammle, for he +had the air of being dull enough within, and looked grievously +discontented. + +Mrs Alfred Lammle faced her lord. The happy pair of swindlers, +with the comfortable tie between them that each had swindled the +other, sat moodily observant of the tablecloth. Things looked so +gloomy in the breakfast-room, albeit on the sunny side of Sackville +Street, that any of the family tradespeople glancing through the +blinds might have taken the hint to send in his account and press +for it. But this, indeed, most of the family tradespeople had already +done, without the hint. + +'It seems to me,' said Mrs Lammle, 'that you have had no money at +all, ever since we have been married.' + +'What seems to you,' said Mr Lammle, 'to have been the case, may +possibly have been the case. It doesn't matter.' + +Was it the speciality of Mr and Mrs Lammle, or does it ever obtain +with other loving couples? In these matrimonial dialogues they +never addressed each other, but always some invisible presence +that appeared to take a station about midway between them. +Perhaps the skeleton in the cupboard comes out to be talked to, on +such domestic occasions? + +'I have never seen any money in the house,' said Mrs Lammle to +the skeleton, 'except my own annuity. That I swear.' + +'You needn't take the trouble of swearing,' said Mr Lammle to the +skeleton; 'once more, it doesn't matter. You never turned your +annuity to so good an account.' + +'Good an account! In what way?' asked Mrs Lammle. + +'In the way of getting credit, and living well,' said Mr Lammle. +Perhaps the skeleton laughed scornfully on being intrusted with +this question and this answer; certainly Mrs Lammle did, and Mr +Lammle did. + +'And what is to happen next?' asked Mrs Lammle of the skeleton. + +'Smash is to happen next,' said Mr Lammle to the same authority. + +After this, Mrs Lammle looked disdainfully at the skeleton--but +without carrying the look on to Mr Lammle--and drooped her eyes. +After that, Mr Lammle did exactly the same thing, and drooped +HIS eyes. A servant then entering with toast, the skeleton retired +into the closet, and shut itself up. + +'Sophronia,' said Mr Lammle, when the servant had withdrawn. +And then, very much louder: 'Sophronia!' + +'Well?' + +'Attend to me, if you please.' He eyed her sternly until she did +attend, and then went on. 'I want to take counsel with you. Come, +come; no more trifling. You know our league and covenant. We +are to work together for our joint interest, and you are as knowing a +hand as I am. We shouldn't be together, if you were not. What's to +be done? We are hemmed into a corner. What shall we do?' + +'Have you no scheme on foot that will bring in anything?' + +Mr Lammle plunged into his whiskers for reflection, and came out +hopeless: 'No; as adventurers we are obliged to play rash games for +chances of high winnings, and there has been a run of luck against +us.' + +She was resuming, 'Have you nothing--' when he stopped her. + +'We, Sophronia. We, we, we.' + +'Have we nothing to sell?' + +'Deuce a bit. I have given a Jew a bill of sale on this furniture, and +he could take it to-morrow, to-day, now. He would have taken it +before now, I believe, but for Fledgeby.' + +'What has Fledgeby to do with him?' + +'Knew him. Cautioned me against him before I got into his claws. +Couldn't persuade him then, in behalf of somebody else.' + +'Do you mean that Fledgeby has at all softened him towards you?' + +'Us, Sophronia. Us, us, us.' + +'Towards us?' + +'I mean that the Jew has not yet done what he might have done, +and that Fledgeby takes the credit of having got him to hold his +hand.' + +'Do you believe Fledgeby?' + +'Sophronia, I never believe anybody. I never have, my dear, since I +believed you. But it looks like it.' + +Having given her this back-handed reminder of her mutinous +observations to the skeleton, Mr Lammle rose from table--perhaps, +the better to conceal a smile, and a white dint or two about his +nose--and took a turn on the carpet and came to the hearthrug. + +'If we could have packed the brute off with Georgiana;--but +however; that's spilled milk.' + +As Lammle, standing gathering up the skirts of his dressing-gown +with his back to the fire, said this, looking down at his wife, she +turned pale and looked down at the ground. With a sense of +disloyalty upon her, and perhaps with a sense of personal danger-- +for she was afraid of him--even afraid of his hand and afraid of his +foot, though he had never done her violence--she hastened to put +herself right in his eyes. + +'If we could borrow money, Alfred--' + +'Beg money, borrow money, or steal money. It would be all one to +us, Sophronia,' her husband struck in. + +'--Then, we could weather this?' + +'No doubt. To offer another original and undeniable remark, +Sophronia, two and two make four.' + +But, seeing that she was turning something in her mind, he +gathered up the skirts of his dressing-gown again, and, tucking +them under one arm, and collecting his ample whiskers in his other +hand, kept his eye upon her, silently. + +'It is natural, Alfred,' she said, looking up with some timidity into +his face, 'to think in such an emergency of the richest people we +know, and the simplest.' + +'Just so, Sophronia.' + +'The Boffins.' + +'Just so, Sophronia.' + +'Is there nothing to be done with them?' + +'What is there to be done with them, Sophronia?' + +She cast about in her thoughts again, and he kept his eye upon her +as before. + +'Of course I have repeatedly thought of the Boffins, Sophronia,' he +resumed, after a fruitless silence; 'but I have seen my way to +nothing. They are well guarded. That infernal Secretary stands +between them and--people of merit.' + +'If he could be got rid of?' said she, brightening a little, after more +casting about. + +'Take time, Sophronia,' observed her watchful husband, in a +patronizing manner. + +'If working him out of the way could be presented in the light of a +service to Mr Boffin?' + +'Take time, Sophronia.' + +'We have remarked lately, Alfred, that the old man is turning very +suspicious and distrustful.' + +'Miserly too, my dear; which is far the most unpromising for us. +Nevertheless, take time, Sophronia, take time.' + +She took time and then said: + +'Suppose we should address ourselves to that tendency in him of +which we have made ourselves quite sure. Suppose my +conscience--' + +'And we know what a conscience it is, my soul. Yes?' + +'Suppose my conscience should not allow me to keep to myself any +longer what that upstart girl told me of the Secretary's having made +a declaration to her. Suppose my conscience should oblige me to +repeat it to Mr Boffin.' + +'I rather like that,' said Lammle. + +'Suppose I so repeated it to Mr Boffin, as to insinuate that my +sensitive delicacy and honour--' + +'Very good words, Sophronia.' + +'--As to insinuate that OUR sensitive delicacy and honour,' she +resumed, with a bitter stress upon the phrase, 'would not allow us +to be silent parties to so mercenary and designing a speculation on +the Secretary's part, and so gross a breach of faith towards his +confiding employer. Suppose I had imparted my virtuous +uneasiness to my excellent husband, and he had said, in his +integrity, "Sophronia, you must immediately disclose this to Mr +Boffin."' + +'Once more, Sophronia,' observed Lammle, changing the leg on +which he stood, 'I rather like that.' + +'You remark that he is well guarded,' she pursued. 'I think so too. +But if this should lead to his discharging his Secretary, there would +be a weak place made.' + +'Go on expounding, Sophronia. I begin to like this very much.' + +'Having, in our unimpeachable rectitude, done him the service of +opening his eyes to the treachery of the person he trusted, we shall +have established a claim upon him and a confidence with him. +Whether it can be made much of, or little of, we must wait-- +because we can't help it--to see. Probably we shall make the most +of it that is to be made.' + +'Probably,' said Lammle. + +'Do you think it impossible,' she asked, in the same cold plotting +way, 'that you might replace the Secretary?' + +'Not impossible, Sophronia. It might be brought about. At any +rate it might be skilfully led up to.' + +She nodded her understanding of the hint, as she looked at the fire. +'Mr Lammle,' she said, musingly: not without a slight ironical +touch: 'Mr Lammle would be so delighted to do anything in his +power. Mr Lammle, himself a man of business as well as a +capitalist. Mr Lammle, accustomed to be intrusted with the most +delicate affairs. Mr Lammle, who has managed my own little +fortune so admirably, but who, to be sure, began to make his +reputation with the advantage of being a man of property, above +temptation, and beyond suspicion.' + +Mr Lammle smiled, and even patted her on the head. In his +sinister relish of the scheme, as he stood above her, making it the +subject of his cogitations, he seemed to have twice as much nose +on his face as he had ever had in his life. + +He stood pondering, and she sat looking at the dusty fire without +moving, for some time. But, the moment he began to speak again +she looked up with a wince and attended to him, as if that double- +dealing of hers had been in her mind, and the fear were revived in +her of his hand or his foot. + +'It appears to me, Sophronia, that you have omitted one branch of +the subject. Perhaps not, for women understand women. We +might oust the girl herself?' + +Mrs Lammle shook her head. 'She has an immensely strong hold +upon them both, Alfred. Not to be compared with that of a paid +secretary. + +'But the dear child,' said Lammle, with a crooked smile, 'ought to +have been open with her benefactor and benefactress. The darling +love ought to have reposed unbounded confidence in her benefactor +and benefactress.' + +Sophronia shook her head again. + +'Well! Women understand women,' said her husband, rather +disappointed. 'I don't press it. It might be the making of our +fortune to make a clean sweep of them both. With me to manage +the property, and my wife to manage the people--Whew!' + +Again shaking her head, she returned: 'They will never quarrel +with the girl. They will never punish the girl. We must accept the +girl, rely upon it.' + +'Well!' cried Lammle, shrugging his shoulders, 'so be it: only +always remember that we don't want her.' + +'Now, the sole remaining question is,' said Mrs Lammle, 'when +shall I begin?' + +'You cannot begin too soon, Sophronia. As I have told you, the +condition of our affairs is desperate, and may be blown upon at any +moment.' + +'I must secure Mr Boffin alone, Alfred. If his wife was present, she +would throw oil upon the waters. I know I should fail to move him +to an angry outburst, if his wife was there. And as to the girl +herself--as I am going to betray her confidence, she is equally out +of the question.' + +'It wouldn't do to write for an appointment?' said Lammle. + +'No, certainly not. They would wonder among themselves why I +wrote, and I want to have him wholly unprepared.' + +'Call, and ask to see him alone?' suggested Lammle. + +'I would rather not do that either. Leave it to me. Spare me the +little carriage for to-day, and for to-morrow (if I don't succeed to- +day), and I'll lie in wait for him.' + +It was barely settled when a manly form was seen to pass the +windows and heard to knock and ring. 'Here's Fledgeby,' said +Lammle. 'He admires you, and has a high opinion of you. I'll be +out. Coax him to use his influence with the Jew. His name is +Riah, of the House of Pubsey and Co.' Adding these words under +his breath, lest he should be audible in the erect ears of Mr +Fledgeby, through two keyholes and the hall, Lammle, making +signals of discretion to his servant, went softly up stairs. + +'Mr Fledgeby,' said Mrs Lammle, giving him a very gracious +reception, 'so glad to see you! My poor dear Alfred, who is greatly +worried just now about his affairs, went out rather early. Dear Mr +Fledgeby, do sit down.' + +Dear Mr Fledgeby did sit down, and satisfied himself (or, judging +from the expression of his countenance, DISsatisfied himself) that +nothing new had occurred in the way of whisker-sprout since he +came round the corner from the Albany. + +'Dear Mr Fledgeby, it was needless to mention to you that my poor +dear Alfred is much worried about his affairs at present, for he has +told me what a comfort you are to him in his temporary difficulties, +and what a great service you have rendered him.' + +'Oh!' said Mr Fledgeby. + +'Yes,' said Mrs Lammle. + +'I didn't know,' remarked Mr Fledgeby, trying a new part of his +chair, 'but that Lammle might be reserved about his affairs.' + +'Not to me,' said Mrs Lammle, with deep feeling. + +'Oh, indeed?' said Fledgeby. + +'Not to me, dear Mr Fledgeby. I am his wife.' + +'Yes. I--I always understood so,' said Mr Fledgeby. + +'And as the wife of Alfred, may I, dear Mr Fledgeby, wholly +without his authority or knowledge, as I am sure your discernment +will perceive, entreat you to continue that great service, and once +more use your well-earned influence with Mr Riah for a little more +indulgence? The name I have heard Alfred mention, tossing in his +dreams, IS Riah; is it not?' + +'The name of the Creditor is Riah,' said Mr Fledgeby, with a rather +uncompromising accent on his noun-substantive. 'Saint Mary Axe. +Pubsey and Co.' + +'Oh yes!' exclaimed Mrs Lammle, clasping her hands with a certain +gushing wildness. 'Pubsey and Co.!' + +'The pleading of the feminine--' Mr Fledgeby began, and there +stuck so long for a word to get on with, that Mrs Lammle offered +him sweetly, 'Heart?' + +'No,' said Mr Fledgeby, 'Gender--is ever what a man is bound to +listen to, and I wish it rested with myself. But this Riah is a nasty +one, Mrs Lammle; he really is.' + +'Not if YOU speak to him, dear Mr Fledgeby.' + +'Upon my soul and body he is!' said Fledgeby. + +'Try. Try once more, dearest Mr Fledgeby. What is there you +cannot do, if you will!' + +'Thank you,' said Fledgeby, 'you're very complimentary to say so. +I don't mind trying him again, at your request. But of course I +can't answer for the consequences. Riah is a tough subject, and +when he says he'll do a thing, he'll do it.' + +'Exactly so,' cried Mrs Lammle, 'and when he says to you he'll +wait, he'll wait.' + +('She is a devilish clever woman,' thought Fledgeby. 'I didn't see +that opening, but she spies it out and cuts into it as soon as it's +made. ') + +'In point of fact, dear Mr Fledgeby,' Mrs Lammle went on in a very +interesting manner, 'not to affect concealment of Alfred's hopes, +to you who are so much his friend, there is a distant break in his +horizon.' + +This figure of speech seemed rather mysterious to Fascination +Fledgeby, who said, 'There's a what in his--eh?' + +'Alfred, dear Mr Fledgeby, discussed with me this very morning +before he went out, some prospects he has, which might entirely +change the aspect of his present troubles.' + +'Really?' said Fledgeby. + +'O yes!' Here Mrs Lammle brought her handkerchief into play. +'And you know, dear Mr Fledgeby--you who study the human +heart, and study the world--what an affliction it would be to lose +position and to lose credit, when ability to tide over a very short +time might save all appearances.' + +'Oh!' said Fledgeby. 'Then you think, Mrs Lammle, that if Lammle +got time, he wouldn't burst up?--To use an expression,' Mr +Fledgeby apologetically explained, 'which is adopted in the Money +Market.' + +'Indeed yes. Truly, truly, yes!' + +'That makes all the difference,' said Fledgeby. 'I'll make a point of +seeing Riah at once.' + +'Blessings on you, dearest Mr Fledgeby!' + +'Not at all,' said Fledgeby. She gave him her hand. 'The hand,' +said Mr Fledgeby, 'of a lovely and superior-minded female is ever +the repayment of a--' + +'Noble action!' said Mrs Lammle, extremely anxious to get rid of +him. + +'It wasn't what I was going to say,' returned Fledgeby, who never +would, under any circumstances, accept a suggested expression, +'but you're very complimentary. May I imprint a--a one--upon it? +Good morning!' + +'I may depend upon your promptitude, dearest Mr Fledgeby?' + +Said Fledgeby, looking back at the door and respectfully kissing +his hand, 'You may depend upon it.' + +In fact, Mr Fledgeby sped on his errand of mercy through the +streets, at so brisk a rate that his feet might have been winged by +all the good spirits that wait on Generosity. They might have taken +up their station in his breast, too, for he was blithe and merry. +There was quite a fresh trill in his voice, when, arriving at the +counting-house in St Mary Axe, and finding it for the moment +empty, he trolled forth at the foot of the staircase: 'Now, Judah, +what are you up to there?' + +The old man appeared, with his accustomed deference. + +'Halloa!' said Fledgeby, falling back, with a wink. 'You mean +mischief, Jerusalem!' + +The old man raised his eyes inquiringly. + +'Yes you do,' said Fledgeby. 'Oh, you sinner! Oh, you dodger! +What! You're going to act upon that bill of sale at Lammle's, are +you? Nothing will turn you, won't it? You won't be put off for +another single minute, won't you?' + +Ordered to immediate action by the master's tone and look, the old +man took up his hat from the little counter where it lay. + +'You have been told that he might pull through it, if you didn't go +in to win, Wide-Awake; have you?' said Fledgeby. 'And it's not +your game that he should pull through it; ain't it? You having got +security, and there being enough to pay you? Oh, you Jew!' + +The old man stood irresolute and uncertain for a moment, as if +there might be further instructions for him in reserve. + +'Do I go, sir?' he at length asked in a low voice. + +'Asks me if he is going!' exclaimed Fledgeby. 'Asks me, as if he +didn't know his own purpose! Asks me, as if he hadn't got his hat +on ready! Asks me, as if his sharp old eye--why, it cuts like a +knife--wasn't looking at his walking-stick by the door!' + +'Do I go, sir?' + +'Do you go?' sneered Fledgeby. 'Yes, you do go. Toddle, Judah!' + + + +Chapter 13 + +GIVE A DOG A BAD NAME, AND HANG HIM + + +Fascination Fledgeby, left alone in the counting-house, strolled +about with his hat on one side, whistling, and investigating the +drawers, and prying here and there for any small evidences of his +being cheated, but could find none. 'Not his merit that he don't +cheat me,' was Mr Fledgeby's commentary delivered with a wink, +'but my precaution.' He then with a lazy grandeur asserted his +rights as lord of Pubsey and Co. by poking his cane at the stools +and boxes, and spitting in the fireplace, and so loitered royally to +the window and looked out into the narrow street, with his small +eyes just peering over the top of Pubsey and Co.'s blind. As a +blind in more senses than one, it reminded him that he was alone +in the counting-house with the front door open. He was moving +away to shut it, lest he should be injudiciously identified with the +establishment, when he was stopped by some one coming to the +door. + +This some one was the dolls' dressmaker, with a little basket on +her arm, and her crutch stick in her hand. Her keen eyes had +espied Mr Fledgeby before Mr Fledgeby had espied her, and he +was paralysed in his purpose of shutting her out, not so much by +her approaching the door, as by her favouring him with a shower of +nods, the instant he saw her. This advantage she improved by +hobbling up the steps with such despatch that before Mr Fledgeby +could take measures for her finding nobody at home, she was face +to face with him in the counting-house. + +'Hope I see you well, sir,' said Miss Wren. 'Mr Riah in?' + +Fledgeby had dropped into a chair, in the attitude of one waiting +wearily. 'I suppose he will be back soon,' he replied; 'he has cut +out and left me expecting him back, in an odd way. Haven't I seen +you before?' + +'Once before--if you had your eyesight,' replied Miss Wren; the +conditional clause in an under-tone. + +'When you were carrying on some games up at the top of the +house. I remember. How's your friend?' + +'I have more friends than one, sir, I hope,' replied Miss Wren. +'Which friend?' + +'Never mind,' said Mr Fledgeby, shutting up one eye, 'any of your +friends, all your friends. Are they pretty tolerable?' + +Somewhat confounded, Miss Wren parried the pleasantry, and sat +down in a corner behind the door, with her basket in her lap. By- +and-by, she said, breaking a long and patient silence: + +'I beg your pardon, sir, but I am used to find Mr Riah at this time, +and so I generally come at this time. I only want to buy my poor +little two shillings' worth of waste. Perhaps you'll kindly let me +have it, and I'll trot off to my work.' + +'I let you have it?' said Fledgeby, turning his head towards her; for +he had been sitting blinking at the light, and feeling his cheek. +'Why, you don't really suppose that I have anything to do with the +place, or the business; do you?' + +'Suppose?' exclaimed Miss Wren. 'He said, that day, you were the +master!' + +'The old cock in black said? Riah said? Why, he'd say anything.' + +'Well; but you said so too,' returned Miss Wren. 'Or at least you +took on like the master, and didn't contradict him.' + +'One of his dodges,' said Mr Fledgeby, with a cool and +contemptuous shrug. 'He's made of dodges. He said to me, +"Come up to the top of the house, sir, and I'll show you a +handsome girl. But I shall call you the master." So I went up to +the top of the house and he showed me the handsome girl (very +well worth looking at she was), and I was called the master. I +don't know why. I dare say he don't. He loves a dodge for its own +sake; being,' added Mr Fledgeby, after casting about for an +expressive phrase, 'the dodgerest of all the dodgers.' + +'Oh my head!' cried the dolls' dressmaker, holding it with both her +hands, as if it were cracking. 'You can't mean what you say.' + +'I can, my little woman, retorted Fledgeby, 'and I do, I assure you. + +This repudiation was not only an act of deliberate policy on +Fledgeby's part, in case of his being surprised by any other caller, +but was also a retort upon Miss Wren for her over-sharpness, and a +pleasant instance of his humour as regarded the old Jew. 'He has +got a bad name as an old Jew, and he is paid for the use of it, and +I'll have my money's worth out of him.' This was Fledgeby's +habitual reflection in the way of business, and it was sharpened +just now by the old man's presuming to have a secret from him: +though of the secret itself, as annoying somebody else whom he +disliked, he by no means disapproved. + +Miss Wren with a fallen countenance sat behind the door looking +thoughtfully at the ground, and the long and patient silence had +again set in for some time, when the expression of Mr Fledgeby's +face betokened that through the upper portion of the door, which +was of glass, he saw some one faltering on the brink of the +counting-house. Presently there was a rustle and a tap, and then +some more rustling and another tap. Fledgeby taking no notice, +the door was at length softly opened, and the dried face of a mild +little elderly gentleman looked in. + +'Mr Riah?' said this visitor, very politely. + +'I am waiting for him, sir,' returned Mr Fledgeby. 'He went out and +left me here. I expect him back every minute. Perhaps you had +better take a chair.' + +The gentleman took a chair, and put his hand to his forehead, as if +he were in a melancholy frame of mind. Mr Fledgeby eyed him +aside, and seemed to relish his attitude. + +'A fine day, sir,' remarked Fledgeby. + +The little dried gentleman was so occupied with his own depressed +reflections that he did not notice the remark until the sound of Mr +Fledgeby's voice had died out of the counting-house. Then he +started, and said: 'I beg your pardon, sir. I fear you spoke to me?' + +'I said,' remarked Fledgeby, a little louder than before, 'it was a +fine day.' + +'I beg your pardon. I beg your pardon. Yes.' + +Again the little dried gentleman put his hand to his forehead, and +again Mr Fledgeby seemed to enjoy his doing it. When the +gentleman changed his attitude with a sigh, Fledgeby spake with a +grin. + +'Mr Twemlow, I think?' + +The dried gentleman seemed much surprised. + +'Had the pleasure of dining with you at Lammle's,' said Fledgeby. +'Even have the honour of being a connexion of yours. An +unexpected sort of place this to meet in; but one never knows, +when one gets into the City, what people one may knock up +against. I hope you have your health, and are enjoying yourself.' + +There might have been a touch of impertinence in the last words; +on the other hand, it might have been but the native grace of Mr +Fledgeby's manner. Mr Fledgeby sat on a stool with a foot on the +rail of another stool, and his hat on. Mr Twemlow had uncovered +on looking in at the door, and remained so. Now the conscientious +Twemlow, knowing what he had done to thwart the gracious +Fledgeby, was particularly disconcerted by this encounter. He was +as ill at ease as a gentleman well could be. He felt himself bound +to conduct himself stiffly towards Fledgeby, and he made him a +distant bow. Fledgeby made his small eyes smaller in taking +special note of his manner. The dolls' dressmaker sat in her corner +behind the door, with her eyes on the ground and her hands folded +on her basket, holding her crutch-stick between them, and +appearing to take no heed of anything. + +'He's a long time,' muttered Mr Fledgeby, looking at his watch. +'What time may you make it, Mr Twemlow?' + +Mr Twemlow made it ten minutes past twelve, sir. + +'As near as a toucher,' assented Fledgeby. 'I hope, Mr Twemlow, +your business here may be of a more agreeable character than +mine.' + +'Thank you, sir,' said Mr Twemlow. + +Fledgeby again made his small eyes smaller, as he glanced with +great complacency at Twemlow, who was timorously tapping the +table with a folded letter. + +'What I know of Mr Riah,' said Fledgeby, with a very disparaging +utterance of his name, 'leads me to believe that this is about the +shop for disagreeable business. I have always found him the +bitingest and tightest screw in London.' + +Mr Twemlow acknowledged the remark with a little distant bow. +It evidently made him nervous. + +'So much so,' pursued Fledgeby, 'that if it wasn't to be true to a +friend, nobody should catch me waiting here a single minute. But +if you have friends in adversity, stand by them. That's what I say +and act up to.' + +The equitable Twemlow felt that this sentiment, irrespective of the +utterer, demanded his cordial assent. 'You are very right, sir,' he +rejoined with spirit. 'You indicate the generous and manly course. + +'Glad to have your approbation,' returned Fledgeby. 'It's a +coincidence, Mr Twemlow;' here he descended from his perch, and +sauntered towards him; 'that the friends I am standing by to-day +are the friends at whose house I met you! The Lammles. She's a +very taking and agreeable woman?' + +Conscience smote the gentle Twemlow pale. 'Yes,' he said. 'She is.' + +'And when she appealed to me this morning, to come and try what +I could do to pacify their creditor, this Mr Riah--that I certainly +have gained some little influence with in transacting business for +another friend, but nothing like so much as she supposes--and +when a woman like that spoke to me as her dearest Mr Fledgeby, +and shed tears--why what could I do, you know?' + +Twemlow gasped 'Nothing but come.' + +'Nothing but come. And so I came. But why,' said Fledgeby, +putting his hands in his pockets and counterfeiting deep +meditation, 'why Riah should have started up, when I told him that +the Lammles entreated him to hold over a Bill of Sale he has on all +their effects; and why he should have cut out, saying he would be +back directly; and why he should have left me here alone so long; I +cannot understand.' + +The chivalrous Twemlow, Knight of the Simple Heart, was not in a +condition to offer any suggestion. He was too penitent, too +remorseful. For the first time in his life he had done an +underhanded action, and he had done wrong. He had secretly +interposed against this confiding young man, for no better real +reason than because the young man's ways were not his ways. + +But, the confiding young man proceeded to heap coals of fire on +his sensitive head. + +'I beg your pardon, Mr Twemlow; you see I am acquainted with +the nature of the affairs that are transacted here. Is there anything I +can do for you here? You have always been brought up as a +gentleman, and never as a man of business;' another touch of +possible impertinence in this place; 'and perhaps you are but a +poor man of business. What else is to be expected!' + +'I am even a poorer man of business than I am a man, sir,' returned +Twemlow, 'and I could hardly express my deficiency in a stronger +way. I really do not so much as clearly understand my position in +the matter on which I am brought here. But there are reasons +which make me very delicate of accepting your assistance. I am +greatly, greatly, disinclined to profit by it. I don't deserve it.' + +Good childish creature! Condemned to a passage through the +world by such narrow little dimly-lighted ways, and picking up so +few specks or spots on the road! + +'Perhaps,' said Fledgeby, 'you may be a little proud of entering on +the topic,--having been brought up as a gentleman.' + +'It's not that, sir,' returned Twemlow, 'it's not that. I hope I +distinguish between true pride and false pride.' + +'I have no pride at all, myself,' said Fledgeby, 'and perhaps I don't +cut things so fine as to know one from t'other. But I know this is a +place where even a man of business needs his wits about him; and +if mine can be of any use to you here, you're welcome to them.' + +'You are very good,' said Twemlow, faltering. 'But I am most +unwilling--' + +'I don't, you know,' proceeded Fledgeby with an ill-favoured +glance, 'entertain the vanity of supposing that my wits could be of +any use to you in society, but they might be here. You cultivate +society and society cultivates you, but Mr Riah's not society. In +society, Mr Riah is kept dark; eh, Mr Twemlow?' + +Twemlow, much disturbed, and with his hand fluttering about his +forehead, replied: 'Quite true.' + +The confiding young man besought him to state his case. The +innocent Twemlow, expecting Fledgeby to be astounded by what +he should unfold, and not for an instant conceiving the possibility +of its happening every day, but treating of it as a terrible +phenomenon occurring in the course of ages, related how that he +had had a deceased friend, a married civil officer with a family, +who had wanted money for change of place on change of post, and +how he, Twemlow, had 'given him his name,' with the usual, but in +the eyes of Twemlow almost incredible result that he had been left +to repay what he had never had. How, in the course of years, he +had reduced the principal by trifling sums, 'having,' said +Twemlow, 'always to observe great economy, being in the +enjoyment of a fixed income limited in extent, and that depending +on the munificence of a certain nobleman,' and had always pinched +the full interest out of himself with punctual pinches. How he had +come, in course of time, to look upon this one only debt of his life +as a regular quarterly drawback, and no worse, when 'his name' +had some way fallen into the possession of Mr Riah, who had sent +him notice to redeem it by paying up in full, in one plump sum, or +take tremendous consequences. This, with hazy remembrances of +how he had been carried to some office to 'confess judgment' (as +he recollected the phrase), and how he had been carried to another +office where his life was assured for somebody not wholly +unconnected with the sherry trade whom he remembered by the +remarkable circumstance that he had a Straduarius violin to +dispose of, and also a Madonna, formed the sum and substance of +Mr Twemlow's narrative. Through which stalked the shadow of +the awful Snigsworth, eyed afar off by money-lenders as Security +in the Mist, and menacing Twemlow with his baronial truncheon. + +To all, Mr Fledgeby listened with the modest gravity becoming a +confiding young man who knew it all beforehand, and, when it +was finished, seriously shook his head. 'I don't like, Mr +Twemlow,' said Fledgeby, 'I don't like Riah's calling in the +principal. If he's determined to call it in, it must come.' + +'But supposing, sir,' said Twemlow, downcast, 'that it can't come?' + +'Then,' retorted Fledgeby, 'you must go, you know.' + +'Where?' asked Twemlow, faintly. + +'To prison,' returned Fledgeby. Whereat Mr Twemlow leaned his +innocent head upon his hand, and moaned a little moan of distress +and disgrace. + +'However,' said Fledgeby, appearing to pluck up his spirits, 'we'll +hope it's not so bad as that comes to. If you'll allow me, I'll +mention to Mr Riah when he comes in, who you are, and I'll tell +him you're my friend, and I'll say my say for you, instead of your +saying it for yourself; I may be able to do it in a more business-like +way. You won't consider it a liberty?' + +'I thank you again and again, sir,' said Twemlow. 'I am strong, +strongly, disinclined to avail myself of your generosity, though my +helplessness yields. For I cannot but feel that I--to put it in the +mildest form of speech--that I have done nothing to deserve it.' + +'Where CAN he be?' muttered Fledgeby, referring to his watch +again. 'What CAN he have gone out for? Did you ever see him, +Mr Twemlow?' + +'Never.' + +'He is a thorough Jew to look at, but he is a more thorough Jew to +deal with. He's worst when he's quiet. If he's quiet, I shall take it +as a very bad sign. Keep your eye upon him when he comes in, +and, if he's quiet, don't be hopeful. Here he is!--He looks quiet.' + +With these words, which had the effect of causing the harmless +Twemlow painful agitation, Mr Fledgeby withdrew to his former +post, and the old man entered the counting-house. + +'Why, Mr Riah,' said Fledgeby, 'I thought you were lost!' + +The old man, glancing at the stranger, stood stock-still. He +perceived that his master was leading up to the orders he was to +take, and he waited to understand them. + +'I really thought,' repeated Fledgeby slowly, 'that you were lost, Mr +Riah. Why, now I look at you--but no, you can't have done it; no, +you can't have done it!' + +Hat in hand, the old man lifted his head, and looked distressfully at +Fledgeby as seeking to know what new moral burden he was to +bear. + +'You can't have rushed out to get the start of everybody else, and +put in that bill of sale at Lammle's?' said Fledgeby. 'Say you +haven't, Mr Riah.' + +'Sir, I have,' replied the old man in a low voice. + +'Oh my eye!' cried Fledgeby. 'Tut, tut, tut! Dear, dear, dear! Well! +I knew you were a hard customer, Mr Riah, but I never thought +you were as hard as that.' + +'Sir,' said the old man, with great uneasiness, 'I do as I am +directed. I am not the principal here. I am but the agent of a +superior, and I have no choice, no power.' + +'Don't say so,' retorted Fledgeby, secretly exultant as the old man +stretched out his hands, with a shrinking action of defending +himself against the sharp construction of the two observers. 'Don't +play the tune of the trade, Mr Riah. You've a right to get in your +debts, if you're determined to do it, but don't pretend what every +one in your line regularly pretends. At least, don't do it to me. +Why should you, Mr Riah? You know I know all about you.' + +The old man clasped the skirt of his long coat with his disengaged +hand, and directed a wistful look at Fledgeby. + +'And don't,' said Fledgeby, 'don't, I entreat you as a favour, Mr +Riah, be so devilish meek, for I know what'll follow if you are. +Look here, Mr Riah. This gentleman is Mr Twemlow.' + +The Jew turned to him and bowed. That poor lamb bowed in +return; polite, and terrified. + +'I have made such a failure,' proceeded Fledgeby, 'in trying to do +anything with you for my friend Lammle, that I've hardly a hope of +doing anything with you for my friend (and connexion indeed) Mr +Twemlow. But I do think that if you would do a favour for +anybody, you would for me, and I won't fail for want of trying, and +I've passed my promise to Mr Twemlow besides. Now, Mr Riah, +here is Mr Twemlow. Always good for his interest, always +coming up to time, always paying his little way. Now, why should +you press Mr Twemlow? You can't have any spite against Mr +Twemlow! Why not be easy with Mr Twemlow?' + +The old man looked into Fledgeby's little eyes for any sign of leave +to be easy with Mr Twemlow; but there was no sign in them. + +'Mr Twemlow is no connexion of yours, Mr Riah,' said Fledgeby; +'you can't want to be even with him for having through life gone in +for a gentleman and hung on to his Family. If Mr Twemlow has a +contempt for business, what can it matter to you?' + +'But pardon me,' interposed the gentle victim, 'I have not. I +should consider it presumption.' + +'There, Mr Riah!' said Fledgeby, 'isn't that handsomely said? +Come! Make terms with me for Mr Twemlow.' + +The old man looked again for any sign of permission to spare the +poor little gentleman. No. Mr Fledgeby meant him to be racked. + +'I am very sorry, Mr Twemlow,' said Riah. 'I have my +instructions. I am invested with no authority for diverging from +them. The money must be paid.' + +'In full and slap down, do you mean, Mr Riah?' asked Fledgeby, to +make things quite explicit. + +'In full, sir, and at once,' was Riah's answer. + +Mr Fledgeby shook his head deploringly at Twemlow, and mutely +expressed in reference to the venerable figure standing before him +with eyes upon the ground: 'What a Monster of an Israelite this is!' + +'Mr Riah,' said Fledgeby. + +The old man lifted up his eyes once more to the little eyes in Mr +Fledgeby's head, with some reviving hope that the sign might be +coming yet. + +'Mr Riah, it's of no use my holding back the fact. There's a certain +great party in the background in Mr Twemlow's case, and you +know it. + +'I know it,' the old man admitted. + +'Now, I'll put it as a plain point of business, Mr Riah. Are you +fully determined (as a plain point of business) either to have that +said great party's security, or that said great party's money?' + +'Fully determined,' answered Riah, as he read his master's face, +and learnt the book. + +'Not at all caring for, and indeed as it seems to me rather enjoying,' +said Fledgeby, with peculiar unction, 'the precious kick-up and row +that will come off between Mr Twemlow and the said great party?' + +This required no answer, and received none. Poor Mr Twemlow, +who had betrayed the keenest mental terrors since his noble +kinsman loomed in the perspective, rose with a sigh to take his +departure. 'I thank you very much, sir,' he said, offering Fledgeby +his feverish hand. 'You have done me an unmerited service. +Thank you, thank you!' + +'Don't mention it,' answered Fledgeby. 'It's a failure so far, but I'll +stay behind, and take another touch at Mr Riah.' + +'Do not deceive yourself Mr Twemlow,' said the Jew, then +addressing him directly for the first time. 'There is no hope for +you. You must expect no leniency here. You must pay in full, and +you cannot pay too promptly, or you will be put to heavy charges. +Trust nothing to me, sir. Money, money, money.' When he had +said these words in an emphatic manner, he acknowledged Mr +Twemlow's still polite motion of his head, and that amiable little +worthy took his departure in the lowest spirits. + +Fascination Fledgeby was in such a merry vein when the counting- +house was cleared of him, that he had nothing for it but to go to the +window, and lean his arms on the frame of the blind, and have his +silent laugh out, with his back to his subordinate. When he turned +round again with a composed countenance, his subordinate still +stood in the same place, and the dolls' dressmaker sat behind the +door with a look of horror. + +'Halloa!' cried Mr Fledgeby, 'you're forgetting this young lady, Mr +Riah, and she has been waiting long enough too. Sell her her +waste, please, and give her good measure if you can make up your +mind to do the liberal thing for once.' + +He looked on for a time, as the Jew filled her little basket with +such scraps as she was used to buy; but, his merry vein coming on +again, he was obliged to turn round to the window once more, and +lean his arms on the blind. + +'There, my Cinderella dear,' said the old man in a whisper, and +with a worn-out look, 'the basket's full now. Bless you! And get +you gone!' + +'Don't call me your Cinderella dear,' returned Miss Wren. 'O you +cruel godmother!' + +She shook that emphatic little forefinger of hers in his face at +parting, as earnestly and reproachfully as she had ever shaken it at +her grim old child at home. + +'You are not the godmother at all!' said she. 'You are the Wolf in +the Forest, the wicked Wolf! And if ever my dear Lizzie is sold +and betrayed, I shall know who sold and betrayed her!' + + + +Chapter 14 + +MR WEGG PREPARES A GRINDSTONE FOR MR BOFFIN'S NOSE + + +Having assisted at a few more expositions of the lives of Misers, +Mr Venus became almost indispensable to the evenings at the +Bower. The circumstance of having another listener to the +wonders unfolded by Wegg, or, as it were, another calculator to +cast up the guineas found in teapots, chimneys, racks and mangers, +and other such banks of deposit, seemed greatly to heighten Mr +Boffin's enjoyment; while Silas Wegg, for his part, though of a +jealous temperament which might under ordinary circumstances +have resented the anatomist's getting into favour, was so very +anxious to keep his eye on that gentleman--lest, being too much +left to himself, he should be tempted to play any tricks with the +precious document in his keeping--that he never lost an +opportunity of commending him to Mr Boffin's notice as a third +party whose company was much to be desired. Another friendly +demonstration towards him Mr Wegg now regularly gratified. +After each sitting was over, and the patron had departed, Mr Wegg +invariably saw Mr Venus home. To be sure, he as invariably +requested to be refreshed with a sight of the paper in which he was +a joint proprietor; but he never failed to remark that it was the great +pleasure he derived from Mr Venus's improving society which had +insensibly lured him round to Clerkenwell again, and that, finding +himself once more attracted to the spot by the social powers of Mr +V., he would beg leave to go through that little incidental +procedure, as a matter of form. 'For well I know, sir,' Mr Wegg +would add, 'that a man of your delicate mind would wish to be +checked off whenever the opportunity arises, and it is not for me to +baulk your feelings.' + +A certain rustiness in Mr Venus, which never became so +lubricated by the oil of Mr Wegg but that he turned under the +screw in a creaking and stiff manner, was very noticeable at about +this period. While assisting at the literary evenings, he even went +so far, on two or three occasions, as to correct Mr Wegg when he +grossly mispronounced a word, or made nonsense of a passage; +insomuch that Mr Wegg took to surveying his course in the day, +and to making arrangements for getting round rocks at night +instead of running straight upon them. Of the slightest anatomical +reference he became particularly shy, and, if he saw a bone ahead, +would go any distance out of his way rather than mention it by +name. + +The adverse destinies ordained that one evening Mr Wegg's +labouring bark became beset by polysyllables, and embarrassed +among a perfect archipelago of hard words. It being necessary to +take soundings every minute, and to feel the way with the greatest +caution, Mr Wegg's attention was fully employed. Advantage was +taken of this dilemma by Mr Venus, to pass a scrap of paper into +Mr Boffin's hand, and lay his finger on his own lip. + +When Mr Boffin got home at night he found that the paper +contained Mr Venus's card and these words: 'Should be glad to be +honoured with a call respecting business of your own, about dusk +on an early evening.' + +The very next evening saw Mr Boffin peeping in at the preserved +frogs in Mr Venus's shop-window, and saw Mr Venus espying Mr +Boffin with the readiness of one on the alert, and beckoning that +gentleman into his interior. Responding, Mr Boffin was invited to +seat himself on the box of human miscellanies before the fire, and +did so, looking round the place with admiring eyes. The fire being +low and fitful, and the dusk gloomy, the whole stock seemed to be +winking and blinking with both eyes, as Mr Venus did. The +French gentleman, though he had no eyes, was not at all behind- +hand, but appeared, as the flame rose and fell, to open and shut his +no eyes, with the regularity of the glass-eyed dogs and ducks and +birds. The big-headed babies were equally obliging in lending +their grotesque aid to the general effect. + +'You see, Mr Venus, I've lost no time,' said Mr Boffin. 'Here I am.' + +'Here you are, sir,' assented Mr Venus. + +'I don't like secrecy,' pursued Mr Boffin--'at least, not in a general +way I don't--but I dare say you'll show me good reason for being +secret so far.' + +'I think I shall, sir,' returned Venus. + +'Good,' said Mr Boffin. 'You don't expect Wegg, I take it for +granted?' + +'No, sir. I expect no one but the present company.' + +Mr Boffin glanced about him, as accepting under that inclusive +denomination the French gentleman and the circle in which he +didn't move, and repeated, 'The present company.' + +'Sir,' said Mr Venus, 'before entering upon business, I shall have to +ask you for your word and honour that we are in confidence.' + +'Let's wait a bit and understand what the expression means,' +answered Mr Boffin. 'In confidence for how long? In confidence +for ever and a day?' + +'I take your hint, sir,' said Venus; 'you think you might consider +the business, when you came to know it, to be of a nature +incompatible with confidence on your part?' + +'I might,' said Mr Boffin with a cautious look. + +'True, sir. Well, sir,' observed Venus, after clutching at his dusty +hair, to brighten his ideas, 'let us put it another way. I open the +business with you, relying upon your honour not to do anything in +it, and not to mention me in it, without my knowledge.' + +'That sounds fair,' said Mr Boffin. 'I agree to that.' + +'I have your word and honour, sir?' + +'My good fellow,' retorted Mr Boffin, 'you have my word; and how +you can have that, without my honour too, I don't know. I've +sorted a lot of dust in my time, but I never knew the two things go +into separate heaps.' + +This remark seemed rather to abash Mr Venus. He hesitated, and +said, 'Very true, sir;' and again, 'Very true, sir,' before resuming the +thread of his discourse. + +'Mr Boffin, if I confess to you that I fell into a proposal of which +you were the subject, and of which you oughtn't to have been the +subject, you will allow me to mention, and will please take into +favourable consideration, that I was in a crushed state of mind at +the time.' + +The Golden Dustman, with his hands folded on the top of his stout +stick, with his chin resting upon them, and with something leering +and whimsical in his eyes, gave a nod, and said, 'Quite so, Venus.' + +'That proposal, sir, was a conspiring breach of your confidence, to +such an extent, that I ought at once to have made it known to you. +But I didn't, Mr Boffin, and I fell into it.' + +Without moving eye or finger, Mr Boffin gave another nod, and +placidly repeated, 'Quite so, Venus.' + +'Not that I was ever hearty in it, sir,' the penitent anatomist went +on, 'or that I ever viewed myself with anything but reproach for +having turned out of the paths of science into the paths of--' he was +going to say 'villany,' but, unwilling to press too hard upon +himself, substituted with great emphasis--'Weggery.' + +Placid and whimsical of look as ever, Mr Boffin answered: + +'Quite so, Venus.' + +'And now, sir,' said Venus, 'having prepared your mind in the +rough, I will articulate the details.' With which brief professional +exordium, he entered on the history of the friendly move, and truly +recounted it. One might have thought that it would have extracted +some show of surprise or anger, or other emotion, from Mr Boffin, +but it extracted nothing beyond his former comment: + +'Quite so, Venus.' + +'I have astonished you, sir, I believe?' said Mr Venus, pausing +dubiously. + +Mr Boffin simply answered as aforesaid: 'Quite so, Venus.' + +By this time the astonishment was all on the other side. It did not, +however, so continue. For, when Venus passed to Wegg's +discovery, and from that to their having both seen Mr Boffin dig up +the Dutch bottle, that gentleman changed colour, changed his +attitude, became extremely restless, and ended (when Venus +ended) by being in a state of manifest anxiety, trepidation, and +confusion. + +'Now, sir,' said Venus, finishing off; 'you best know what was in +that Dutch bottle, and why you dug it up, and took it away. I don't +pretend to know anything more about it than I saw. All I know is +this: I am proud of my calling after all (though it has been attended +by one dreadful drawback which has told upon my heart, and +almost equally upon my skeleton), and I mean to live by my +calling. Putting the same meaning into other words, I do not mean +to turn a single dishonest penny by this affair. As the best amends +I can make you for having ever gone into it, I make known to you, +as a warning, what Wegg has found out. My opinion is, that +Wegg is not to be silenced at a modest price, and I build that +opinion on his beginning to dispose of your property the moment +he knew his power. Whether it's worth your while to silence him +at any price, you will decide for yourself, and take your measures +accordingly. As far as I am concerned, I have no price. If I am +ever called upon for the truth, I tell it, but I want to do no more +than I have now done and ended.' + +'Thank'ee, Venus!' said Mr Boffin, with a hearty grip of his hand; +'thank'ee, Venus, thank'ee, Venus!' And then walked up and down +the little shop in great agitation. 'But look here, Venus,' he by- +and-by resumed, nervously sitting down again; 'if I have to buy +Wegg up, I shan't buy him any cheaper for your being out of it. +Instead of his having half the money--it was to have been half, I +suppose? Share and share alike?' + +'It was to have been half, sir,' answered Venus. + +'Instead of that, he'll now have all. I shall pay the same, if not +more. For you tell me he's an unconscionable dog, a ravenous +rascal.' + +'He is,' said Venus. + +'Don't you think, Venus,' insinuated Mr Boffin, after looking at the +fire for a while--'don't you feel as if--you might like to pretend to be +in it till Wegg was bought up, and then ease your mind by handing +over to me what you had made believe to pocket?' + +'No I don't, sir,' returned Venus, very positively. + +'Not to make amends?' insinuated Mr Boffin. + +'No, sir. It seems to me, after maturely thinking it over, that the +best amends for having got out of the square is to get back into the +square.' + +'Humph!' mused Mr Boffin. 'When you say the square, you mean--' + +'I mean,' said Venus, stoutly and shortly, 'the right.' + +'It appears to me,' said Mr Boffin, grumbling over the fire in an +injured manner, 'that the right is with me, if it's anywhere. I have +much more right to the old man's money than the Crown can ever +have. What was the Crown to him except the King's Taxes? +Whereas, me and my wife, we was all in all to him.' + +Mr Venus, with his head upon his hands, rendered melancholy by +the contemplation of Mr Boffin's avarice, only murmured to steep +himself in the luxury of that frame of mind: 'She did not wish so to +regard herself, nor yet to be so regarded.' + +'And how am I to live,' asked Mr Boffin, piteously, 'if I'm to be +going buying fellows up out of the little that I've got? And how am +I to set about it? When am I to get my money ready? When am I +to make a bid? You haven't told me when he threatens to drop +down upon me.' + +Venus explained under what conditions, and with what views, the +dropping down upon Mr Boffin was held over until the Mounds +should be cleared away. Mr Boffin listened attentively. 'I +suppose,' said he, with a gleam of hope, 'there's no doubt about the +genuineness and date of this confounded will?' + +'None whatever,' said Mr Venus. + +'Where might it be deposited at present?' asked Mr Boffin, in a +wheedling tone. + +'It's in my possession, sir.' + +'Is it?' he cried, with great eagerness. 'Now, for any liberal sum of +money that could be agreed upon, Venus, would you put it in the +fire?' + +'No, sir, I wouldn't,' interrupted Mr Venus. + +'Nor pass it over to me?' + +'That would be the same thing. No, sir,' said Mr Venus. + +The Golden Dustman seemed about to pursue these questions, +when a stumping noise was heard outside, coming towards the +door. 'Hush! here's Wegg!' said Venus. 'Get behind the young +alligator in the corner, Mr Boffin, and judge him for yourself. I +won't light a candle till he's gone; there'll only be the glow of the +fire; Wegg's well acquainted with the alligator, and he won't take +particular notice of him. Draw your legs in, Mr Boffin, at present I +see a pair of shoes at the end of his tail. Get your head well behind +his smile, Mr Boffin, and you'll lie comfortable there; you'll find +plenty of room behind his smile. He's a little dusty, but he's very +like you in tone. Are you right, sir?' + +Mr Boffin had but whispered an affirmative response, when +Wegg came stumping in. 'Partner,' said that gentleman in a +sprightly manner, 'how's yourself?' + +'Tolerable,' returned Mr Venus. 'Not much to boast of.' + +'In-deed!' said Wegg: 'sorry, partner, that you're not picking up +faster, but your soul's too large for your body, sir; that's where it is. +And how's our stock in trade, partner? Safe bind, safe find, +partner? Is that about it?' + +'Do you wish to see it?' asked Venus. + +'If you please, partner,' said Wegg, rubbing his hands. 'I wish to +see it jintly with yourself. Or, in similar words to some that was +set to music some time back: + + "I wish you to see it with your eyes, + And I will pledge with mine."' + +Turning his back and turning a key, Mr Venus produced the +document, holding on by his usual corner. Mr Wegg, holding on +by the opposite corner, sat down on the seat so lately vacated by +Mr Boffin, and looked it over. 'All right, sir,' he slowly and +unwillingly admitted, in his reluctance to loose his hold, 'all right!' +And greedily watched his partner as he turned his back again, and +turned his key again. + +'There's nothing new, I suppose?' said Venus, resuming his low +chair behind the counter. + +'Yes there is, sir,' replied Wegg; 'there was something new this +morning. That foxey old grasper and griper--' + +'Mr Boffin?' inquired Venus, with a glance towards the alligator's +yard or two of smile. + +'Mister be blowed!' cried Wegg, yielding to his honest indignation. +'Boffin. Dusty Boffin. That foxey old grunter and grinder, sir, +turns into the yard this morning, to meddle with our property, a +menial tool of his own, a young man by the name of Sloppy. Ecod, +when I say to him, "What do you want here, young man? This is a +private yard," he pulls out a paper from Boffin's other blackguard, +the one I was passed over for. "This is to authorize Sloppy to +overlook the carting and to watch the work." That's pretty strong, I +think, Mr Venus?' + +'Remember he doesn't know yet of our claim on the property,' +suggested Venus. + +'Then he must have a hint of it,' said Wegg, 'and a strong one that'll +jog his terrors a bit. Give him an inch, and he'll take an ell. Let +him alone this time, and what'll he do with our property next? I +tell you what, Mr Venus; it comes to this; I must be overbearing +with Boffin, or I shall fly into several pieces. I can't contain myself +when I look at him. Every time I see him putting his hand in his +pocket, I see him putting it into my pocket. Every time I hear him +jingling his money, I hear him taking liberties with my money. +Flesh and blood can't bear it. No,' said Mr Wegg, greatly +exasperated, 'and I'll go further. A wooden leg can't bear it!' + +'But, Mr Wegg,' urged Venus, 'it was your own idea that he should +not be exploded upon, till the Mounds were carted away.' + +'But it was likewise my idea, Mr Venus,' retorted Wegg, 'that if he +came sneaking and sniffing about the property, he should be +threatened, given to understand that he has no right to it, and be +made our slave. Wasn't that my idea, Mr Venus?' + +'It certainly was, Mr Wegg.' + +'It certainly was, as you say, partner,' assented Wegg, put into a +better humour by the ready admission. 'Very well. I consider his +planting one of his menial tools in the yard, an act of sneaking and +sniffing. And his nose shall be put to the grindstone for it.' + +'It was not your fault, Mr Wegg, I must admit,' said Venus, 'that he +got off with the Dutch bottle that night.' + +'As you handsomely say again, partner! No, it was not my fault. +I'd have had that bottle out of him. Was it to be borne that he +should come, like a thief in the dark, digging among stuff that was +far more ours than his (seeing that we could deprive him of every +grain of it, if he didn't buy us at our own figure), and carrying off +treasure from its bowels? No, it was not to be borne. And for that, +too, his nose shall be put to the grindstone.' + +'How do you propose to do it, Mr Wegg?' + +'To put his nose to the grindstone? I propose,' returned that +estimable man, 'to insult him openly. And, if looking into this eye +of mine, he dares to offer a word in answer, to retort upon him +before he can take his breath, "Add another word to that, you dusty +old dog, and you're a beggar."' + +'Suppose he says nothing, Mr Wegg?' + +'Then,' replied Wegg, 'we shall have come to an understanding +with very little trouble, and I'll break him and drive him, Mr +Venus. I'll put him in harness, and I'll bear him up tight, and I'll +break him and drive him. The harder the old Dust is driven, sir, +the higher he'll pay. And I mean to be paid high, Mr Venus, I +promise you.' + +'You speak quite revengefully, Mr Wegg.' + +'Revengefully, sir? Is it for him that I have declined and falled, +night after night? Is it for his pleasure that I've waited at home of +an evening, like a set of skittles, to be set up and knocked over, set +up and knocked over, by whatever balls--or books--he chose to +bring against me? Why, I'm a hundred times the man he is, sir; +five hundred times!' + +Perhaps it was with the malicious intent of urging him on to his +worst that Mr Venus looked as if he doubted that. + +'What? Was it outside the house at present ockypied, to its +disgrace, by that minion of fortune and worm of the hour,' said +Wegg, falling back upon his strongest terms of reprobation, and +slapping the counter, 'that I, Silas Wegg, five hundred times the +man he ever was, sat in all weathers, waiting for a errand or a +customer? Was it outside that very house as I first set eyes upon +him, rolling in the lap of luxury, when I was selling halfpenny +ballads there for a living? And am I to grovel in the dust for HIM +to walk over? No!' + +There was a grin upon the ghastly countenance of the French +gentleman under the influence of the firelight, as if he were +computing how many thousand slanderers and traitors array +themselves against the fortunate, on premises exactly answering +to those of Mr Wegg. One might have fancied that the big-headed +babies were toppling over with their hydrocephalic attempts to +reckon up the children of men who transform their benefactors into +their injurers by the same process. The yard or two of smile on the +part of the alligator might have been invested with the meaning, +'All about this was quite familiar knowledge down in the depths of +the slime, ages ago.' + +'But,' said Wegg, possibly with some slight perception to the +foregoing effect, 'your speaking countenance remarks, Mr Venus, +that I'm duller and savager than usual. Perhaps I HAVE allowed +myself to brood too much. Begone, dull Care! 'Tis gone, sir. I've +looked in upon you, and empire resumes her sway. For, as the +song says--subject to your correction, sir-- + + "When the heart of a man is depressed with cares, + The mist is dispelled if Venus appears. + Like the notes of a fiddle, you sweetly, sir, sweetly, + Raises our spirits and charms our ears." + +Good-night, sir.' + +'I shall have a word or two to say to you, Mr Wegg, before long,' +remarked Venus, 'respecting my share in the project we've been +speaking of.' + +'My time, sir,' returned Wegg, 'is yours. In the meanwhile let it be +fully understood that I shall not neglect bringing the grindstone to +bear, nor yet bringing Dusty Boffin's nose to it. His nose once +brought to it, shall be held to it by these hands, Mr Venus, till the +sparks flies out in showers.' + +With this agreeable promise Wegg stumped out, and shut the +shop-door after him. 'Wait till I light a candle, Mr Boffin,' said +Venus, 'and you'll come out more comfortable.' So, he lighting a +candle and holding it up at arm's length, Mr Boffin disengaged +himself from behind the alligator's smile, with an expression of +countenance so very downcast that it not only appeared as if the +alligator had the whole of the joke to himself, but further as if it +had been conceived and executed at Mr Boffin's expense. + +'That's a treacherous fellow,' said Mr Boffin, dusting his arms and +legs as he came forth, the alligator having been but musty +company. 'That's a dreadful fellow.' + +'The alligator, sir?' said Venus. + +'No, Venus, no. The Serpent.' + +'You'll have the goodness to notice, Mr Boffin,' remarked Venus, +'that I said nothing to him about my going out of the affair +altogether, because I didn't wish to take you anyways by surprise. +But I can't be too soon out of it for my satisfaction, Mr Boffin, and +I now put it to you when it will suit your views for me to retire?' + +'Thank'ee, Venus, thank'ee, Venus; but I don't know what to say,' +returned Mr Boffin, 'I don't know what to do. He'll drop down on +me any way. He seems fully determined to drop down; don't he?' + +Mr Venus opined that such was clearly his intention. + +'You might be a sort of protection for me, if you remained in it,' +said Mr Boffin; 'you might stand betwixt him and me, and take the +edge off him. Don't you feel as if you could make a show of +remaining in it, Venus, till I had time to turn myself round?' + +Venus naturally inquired how long Mr Boffin thought it might take +him to turn himself round? + +'I am sure I don't know,' was the answer, given quite at a loss. +'Everything is so at sixes and sevens. If I had never come into the +property, I shouldn't have minded. But being in it, it would be very +trying to be turned out; now, don't you acknowledge that it would, +Venus?' + +Mr Venus preferred, he said, to leave Mr Boffin to arrive at his +own conclusions on that delicate question. + +'I am sure I don't know what to do,' said Mr Boffin. 'If I ask +advice of any one else, it's only letting in another person to be +bought out, and then I shall be ruined that way, and might as well +have given up the property and gone slap to the workhouse. If I +was to take advice of my young man, Rokesmith, I should have to +buy HIM out. Sooner or later, of course, he'd drop down upon me, +like Wegg. I was brought into the world to be dropped down +upon, it appears to me.' + +Mr Venus listened to these lamentations in silence, while Mr +Boffin jogged to and fro, holding his pockets as if he had a pain in +them. + +'After all, you haven't said what you mean to do yourself, Venus. +When you do go out of it, how do you mean to go?' + +Venus replied that as Wegg had found the document and handed it +to him, it was his intention to hand it back to Wegg, with the +declaration that he himself would have nothing to say to it, or do +with it, and that Wegg must act as he chose, and take the +consequences. + +'And then he drops down with his whole weight upon ME!' cried +Mr Boffin, ruefully. 'I'd sooner be dropped upon by you than by +him, or even by you jintly, than by him alone!' + +Mr Venus could only repeat that it was his fixed intention to +betake himself to the paths of science, and to walk in the same all +the days of his life; not dropping down upon his fellow-creatures +until they were deceased, and then only to articulate them to the +best of his humble ability. + +'How long could you be persuaded to keep up the appearance of +remaining in it?' asked Mr Boffin, retiring on his other idea. +'Could you be got to do so, till the Mounds are gone?' + +No. That would protract the mental uneasiness of Mr Venus too +long, he said. + +'Not if I was to show you reason now?' demanded Mr Boffin; 'not if +I was to show you good and sufficient reason?' + +If by good and sufficient reason Mr Boffin meant honest and +unimpeachable reason, that might weigh with Mr Venus against +his personal wishes and convenience. But he must add that he saw +no opening to the possibility of such reason being shown him. + +'Come and see me, Venus,' said Mr Boffin, 'at my house.' + +'Is the reason there, sir?' asked Mr Venus, with an incredulous +smile and blink. + +'It may be, or may not be,' said Mr Boffin, 'just as you view it. But +in the meantime don't go out of the matter. Look here. Do this. +Give me your word that you won't take any steps with Wegg, +without my knowledge, just as I have given you my word that I +won't without yours.' + +'Done, Mr Boffin!' said Venus, after brief consideration. + +'Thank'ee, Venus, thank'ee, Venus! Done!' + +'When shall I come to see you, Mr Boffin.' + +'When you like. The sooner the better. I must be going now. +Good-night, Venus.' + +'Good-night, sir.' + +'And good-night to the rest of the present company,' said Mr +Boffin, glancing round the shop. 'They make a queer show, Venus, +and I should like to be better acquainted with them some day. +Good-night, Venus, good-night! Thankee, Venus, thankee, +Venus!' With that he jogged out into the street, and jogged upon +his homeward way. + +'Now, I wonder,' he meditated as he went along, nursing his stick, +'whether it can be, that Venus is setting himself to get the better of +Wegg? Whether it can be, that he means, when I have bought +Wegg out, to have me all to himself and to pick me clean to the +bones!' + +It was a cunning and suspicious idea, quite in the way of his +school of Misers, and he looked very cunning and suspicious as he +went jogging through the streets. More than once or twice, more +than twice or thrice, say half a dozen times, he took his stick from +the arm on which he nursed it, and hit a straight sharp rap at the +air with its head. Possibly the wooden countenance of Mr Silas +Wegg was incorporeally before him at those moments, for he hit +with intense satisfaction. + +He was within a few streets of his own house, when a little private +carriage, coming in the contrary direction, passed him, turned +round, and passed him again. It was a little carriage of eccentric +movement, for again he heard it stop behind him and turn round, +and again he saw it pass him. Then it stopped, and then went on, +out of sight. But, not far out of sight, for, when he came to the +corner of his own street, there it stood again. + +There was a lady's face at the window as he came up with this +carriage, and he was passing it when the lady softly called to him +by his name. + +'I beg your pardon, Ma'am?' said Mr Boffin, coming to a stop. + +'It is Mrs Lammle,' said the lady. + +Mr Boffin went up to the window, and hoped Mrs Lammle was +well. + +'Not very well, dear Mr Boffin; I have fluttered myself by being-- +perhaps foolishly--uneasy and anxious. I have been waiting for +you some time. Can I speak to you?' + +Mr Boffin proposed that Mrs Lammle should drive on to his house, +a few hundred yards further. + +'I would rather not, Mr Boffin, unless you particularly wish it. I +feel the difficulty and delicacy of the matter so much that I would +rather avoid speaking to you at your own home. You must think +this very strange?' + +Mr Boffin said no, but meant yes. + +'It is because I am so grateful for the good opinion of all my +friends, and am so touched by it, that I cannot bear to run the risk +of forfeiting it in any case, even in the cause of duty. I have asked +my husband (my dear Alfred, Mr Boffin) whether it is the cause of +duty, and he has most emphatically said Yes. I wish I had asked +him sooner. It would have spared me much distress.' + +('Can this be more dropping down upon me!' thought Mr Boffin, +quite bewildered.) + +'It was Alfred who sent me to you, Mr Boffin. Alfred said, "Don't +come back, Sophronia, until you have seen Mr Boffin, and told him +all. Whatever he may think of it, he ought certainly to know it." +Would you mind coming into the carriage?' + +Mr Boffin answered, 'Not at all,' and took his seat at Mrs Lammle's +side. + +'Drive slowly anywhere,' Mrs Lammle called to her coachman, 'and +don't let the carriage rattle.' + +'It MUST be more dropping down, I think,' said Mr Boffin to +himself. 'What next?' + + + +Chapter 15 + +THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN AT HIS WORST + + +The breakfast table at Mr Boffin's was usually a very pleasant one, +and was always presided over by Bella. As though he began each +new day in his healthy natural character, and some waking hours +were necessary to his relapse into the corrupting influences of his +wealth, the face and the demeanour of the Golden Dustman were +generally unclouded at that meal. It would have been easy to +believe then, that there was no change in him. It was as the day +went on that the clouds gathered, and the brightness of the +morning became obscured. One might have said that the shadows +of avarice and distrust lengthened as his own shadow lengthened, +and that the night closed around him gradually. + +But, one morning long afterwards to be remembered, it was black +midnight with the Golden Dustman when he first appeared. His +altered character had never been so grossly marked. His bearing +towards his Secretary was so charged with insolent distrust and +arrogance, that the latter rose and left the table before breakfast +was half done. The look he directed at the Secretary's retiring +figure was so cunningly malignant, that Bella would have sat +astounded and indignant, even though he had not gone the length +of secretly threatening Rokesmith with his clenched fist as he +closed the door. This unlucky morning, of all mornings in the year, +was the morning next after Mr Boffin's interview with Mrs +Lammle in her little carriage. + +Bella looked to Mrs Boffin's face for comment on, or explanation +of, this stormy humour in her husband, but none was there. An +anxious and a distressed observation of her own face was all she +could read in it. When they were left alone together--which was +not until noon, for Mr Boffin sat long in his easy-chair, by turns +jogging up and down the breakfast-room, clenching his fist and +muttering--Bella, in consternation, asked her what had happened, +what was wrong? 'I am forbidden to speak to you about it, Bella +dear; I mustn't tell you,' was all the answer she could get. And +still, whenever, in her wonder and dismay, she raised her eyes to +Mrs Boffin's face, she saw in it the same anxious and distressed +observation of her own. + +Oppressed by her sense that trouble was impending, and lost in +speculations why Mrs Boffin should look at her as if she had any +part in it, Bella found the day long and dreary. It was far on in the +afternoon when, she being in her own room, a servant brought her +a message from Mr Boffin begging her to come to his. + +Mrs Boffin was there, seated on a sofa, and Mr Boffin was jogging +up and down. On seeing Bella he stopped, beckoned her to him, +and drew her arm through his. 'Don't be alarmed, my dear,' he +said, gently; 'I am not angry with you. Why you actually tremble! +Don't be alarmed, Bella my dear. I'll see you righted.' + +'See me righted?' thought Bella. And then repeated aloud in a tone +of astonishment: 'see me righted, sir?' + +'Ay, ay!' said Mr Boffin. 'See you righted. Send Mr Rokesmith +here, you sir.' + +Bella would have been lost in perplexity if there had been pause +enough; but the servant found Mr Rokesmith near at hand, and he +almost immediately presented himself. + +'Shut the door, sir!' said Mr Boffin. 'I have got something to say to +you which I fancy you'll not be pleased to hear.' + +'I am sorry to reply, Mr Boffin,' returned the Secretary, as, having +closed the door, he turned and faced him, 'that I think that very +likely.' + +'What do you mean?' blustered Mr Boffin. + +'I mean that it has become no novelty to me to hear from your lips +what I would rather not hear.' + +'Oh! Perhaps we shall change that,' said Mr Boffin with a +threatening roll of his head. + +'I hope so,' returned the Secretary. He was quiet and respectful; +but stood, as Bella thought (and was glad to think), on his +manhood too. + +'Now, sir,' said Mr Boffin, 'look at this young lady on my arm. + +Bella involuntarily raising her eyes, when this sudden reference +was made to herself, met those of Mr Rokesmith. He was pale +and seemed agitated. Then her eyes passed on to Mrs Boffin's, and +she met the look again. In a flash it enlightened her, and she +began to understand what she had done. + +'I say to you, sir,' Mr Boffin repeated, 'look at this young lady on +my arm. + +'I do so,' returned the Secretary. + +As his glance rested again on Bella for a moment, she thought +there was reproach in it. But it is possible that the reproach was +within herself. + +'How dare you, sir,' said Mr Boffin, 'tamper, unknown to me, with +this young lady? How dare you come out of your station, and your +place in my house, to pester this young lady with your impudent +addresses?' + +'I must decline to answer questions,' said the Secretary, 'that are +so offensively asked.' + +'You decline to answer?' retorted Mr Boffin. 'You decline to +answer, do you? Then I'll tell you what it is, Rokesmith; I'll +answer for you. There are two sides to this matter, and I'll take 'em +separately. The first side is, sheer Insolence. That's the first side.' + +The Secretary smiled with some bitterness, as though he would +have said, 'So I see and hear.' + +'It was sheer Insolence in you, I tell you,' said Mr Boffin, 'even to +think of this young lady. This young lady was far above YOU. +This young lady was no match for YOU. This young lady was +lying in wait (as she was qualified to do) for money, and you had +no money.' + +Bella hung her head and seemed to shrink a little from Mr Boffin's +protecting arm. + +'What are you, I should like to know,' pursued Mr Boffin, 'that you +were to have the audacity to follow up this young lady? This +young lady was looking about the market for a good bid; she +wasn't in it to be snapped up by fellows that had no money to lay +out; nothing to buy with.' + +'Oh, Mr Boffin! Mrs Boffin, pray say something for me!' +murmured Bella, disengaging her arm, and covering her face with +her hands. + +'Old lady,' said Mr Boffin, anticipating his wife, 'you hold your +tongue. Bella, my dear, don't you let yourself be put out. I'll right +you.' + +'But you don't, you don't right me!' exclaimed Bella, with great +emphasis. 'You wrong me, wrong me!' + +'Don't you be put out, my dear,' complacently retorted Mr Boffin. +'I'll bring this young man to book. Now, you Rokesmith! You +can't decline to hear, you know, as well as to answer. You hear me +tell you that the first side of your conduct was Insolence--Insolence +and Presumption. Answer me one thing, if you can. Didn't this +young lady tell you so herself?' + +'Did I, Mr Rokesmith?' asked Bella with her face still covered. 'O +say, Mr Rokesmith! Did I?' + +'Don't be distressed, Miss Wilfer; it matters very little now.' + +'Ah! You can't deny it, though!' said Mr Boffin, with a knowing +shake of his head. + +'But I have asked him to forgive me since,' cried Bella; 'and I +would ask him to forgive me now again, upon my knees, if it +would spare him!' + +Here Mrs Boffin broke out a-crying. + +'Old lady,' said Mr Boffin, 'stop that noise! Tender-hearted in +you, Miss Bella; but I mean to have it out right through with this +young man, having got him into a corner. Now, you Rokesmith. I +tell you that's one side of your conduct--Insolence and +Presumption. Now, I'm a-coming to the other, which is much +worse. This was a speculation of yours.' + +'I indignantly deny it.' + +'It's of no use your denying it; it doesn't signify a bit whether you +deny it or not; I've got a head upon my shoulders, and it ain't a +baby's. What!' said Mr Boffin, gathering himself together in his +most suspicious attitude, and wrinkling his face into a very map of +curves and corners. 'Don't I know what grabs are made at a man +with money? If I didn't keep my eyes open, and my pockets +buttoned, shouldn't I be brought to the workhouse before I knew +where I was? Wasn't the experience of Dancer, and Elwes, and +Hopkins, and Blewbury Jones, and ever so many more of 'em, +similar to mine? Didn't everybody want to make grabs at what +they'd got, and bring 'em to poverty and ruin? Weren't they forced +to hide everything belonging to 'em, for fear it should be snatched +from 'em? Of course they was. I shall be told next that they didn't +know human natur!' + +'They! Poor creatures,' murmured the Secretary. + +'What do you say?' asked Mr Boffin, snapping at him. 'However, +you needn't be at the trouble of repeating it, for it ain't worth +hearing, and won't go down with ME. I'm a-going to unfold your +plan, before this young lady; I'm a-going to show this young lady +the second view of you; and nothing you can say will stave it off. +(Now, attend here, Bella, my dear.) Rokesmith, you're a needy +chap. You're a chap that I pick up in the street. Are you, or ain't +you?' + +'Go on, Mr Boffin; don't appeal to me.' + +'Not appeal to YOU,' retorted Mr Boffin as if he hadn't done so. +'No, I should hope not! Appealing to YOU, would be rather a rum +course. As I was saying, you're a needy chap that I pick up in the +street. You come and ask me in the street to take you for a +Secretary, and I take you. Very good.' + +'Very bad,' murmured the Secretary. + +'What do you say?' asked Mr Boffin, snapping at him again. + +He returned no answer. Mr Boffin, after eyeing him with a +comical look of discomfited curiosity, was fain to begin afresh. + +'This Rokesmith is a needy young man that I take for my Secretary +out of the open street. This Rokesmith gets acquainted with my +affairs, and gets to know that I mean to settle a sum of money on +this young lady. "Oho!" says this Rokesmith;' here Mr Boffin +clapped a finger against his nose, and tapped it several times with +a sneaking air, as embodying Rokesmith confidentially +confabulating with his own nose; '"This will be a good haul; I'll go +in for this!" And so this Rokesmith, greedy and hungering, begins +a-creeping on his hands and knees towards the money. Not so bad +a speculation either: for if this young lady had had less spirit, or +had had less sense, through being at all in the romantic line, by +George he might have worked it out and made it pay! But +fortunately she was too many for him, and a pretty figure he cuts +now he is exposed. There he stands!' said Mr Boffin, addressing +Rokesmith himself with ridiculous inconsistency. 'Look at him!' + +'Your unfortunate suspicions, Mr Boffin--' began the Secretary. + +'Precious unfortunate for you, I can tell you,' said Mr Boffin. + +'--are not to be combated by any one, and I address myself to no +such hopeless task. But I will say a word upon the truth.' + +'Yah! Much you care about the truth,' said Mr Boffin, with a snap +of his fingers. + +'Noddy! My dear love!' expostulated his wife. + +'Old lady,' returned Mr Boffin, 'you keep still. I say to this +Rokesmith here, much he cares about the truth. I tell him again, +much he cares about the truth.' + +'Our connexion being at an end, Mr Boffin,' said the Secretary, 'it +can be of very little moment to me what you say.' + +'Oh! You are knowing enough,' retorted Mr Boffin, with a sly +look, 'to have found out that our connexion's at an end, eh? But +you can't get beforehand with me. Look at this in my hand. This +is your pay, on your discharge. You can only follow suit. You +can't deprive me of the lead. Let's have no pretending that you +discharge yourself. I discharge you.' + +'So that I go,' remarked the Secretary, waving the point aside with +his hand, 'it is all one to me.' + +'Is it?' said Mr Boffin. 'But it's two to me, let me tell you. +Allowing a fellow that's found out, to discharge himself, is one +thing; discharging him for insolence and presumption, and +likewise for designs upon his master's money, is another. One and +one's two; not one. (Old lady, don't you cut in. You keep still.)' + +'Have you said all you wish to say to me?' demanded the Secretary. + +'I don't know whether I have or not,' answered Mr Boffin. 'It +depends.' + +'Perhaps you will consider whether there are any other strong +expressions that you would like to bestow upon me?' + +'I'll consider that,' said Mr Boffin, obstinately, 'at my convenience, +and not at yours. You want the last word. It may not be suitable +to let you have it.' + +'Noddy! My dear, dear Noddy! You sound so hard!' cried poor +Mrs Boffin, not to be quite repressed. + +'Old lady,' said her husband, but without harshness, 'if you cut in +when requested not, I'll get a pillow and carry you out of the room +upon it. What do you want to say, you Rokesmith?' + +'To you, Mr Boffin, nothing. But to Miss Wilfer and to your good +kind wife, a word.' + +'Out with it then,' replied Mr Boffin, 'and cut it short, for we've +had enough of you.' + +'I have borne,' said the Secretary, in a low voice, 'with my false +position here, that I might not be separated from Miss Wilfer. To +be near her, has been a recompense to me from day to day, even for +the undeserved treatment I have had here, and for the degraded +aspect in which she has often seen me. Since Miss Wilfer rejected +me, I have never again urged my suit, to the best of my belief, with +a spoken syllable or a look. But I have never changed in my +devotion to her, except--if she will forgive my saying so--that it is +deeper than it was, and better founded.' + +'Now, mark this chap's saying Miss Wilfer, when he means L.s.d.!' +cried Mr Boffin, with a cunning wink. 'Now, mark this chap's +making Miss Wilfer stand for Pounds, Shillings, and Pence!' + +'My feeling for Miss Wilfer,' pursued the Secretary, without +deigning to notice him, 'is not one to be ashamed of. I avow it. I +love her. Let me go where I may when I presently leave this house, +I shall go into a blank life, leaving her.' + +'Leaving L.s.d. behind me,' said Mr Boffin, by way of commentary, +with another wink. + +'That I am incapable,' the Secretary went on, still without heeding +him, 'of a mercenary project, or a mercenary thought, in connexion +with Miss Wilfer, is nothing meritorious in me, because any prize +that I could put before my fancy would sink into insignificance +beside her. If the greatest wealth or the highest rank were hers, it +would only be important in my sight as removing her still farther +from me, and making me more hopeless, if that could be. Say,' +remarked the Secretary, looking full at his late master, 'say that +with a word she could strip Mr Boffin of his fortune and take +possession of it, she would be of no greater worth in my eyes than +she is.' + +'What do you think by this time, old lady,' asked Mr Boffin, +turning to his wife in a bantering tone, 'about this Rokesmith here, +and his caring for the truth? You needn't say what you think, my +dear, because I don't want you to cut in, but you can think it all the +same. As to taking possession of my property, I warrant you he +wouldn't do that himself if he could.' + +'No,' returned the Secretary, with another full look. + +'Ha, ha, ha!' laughed Mr Boffin. 'There's nothing like a good 'un +while you ARE about it.' + +'I have been for a moment,' said the Secretary, turning from him +and falling into his former manner, 'diverted from the little I have +to say. My interest in Miss Wilfer began when I first saw her; +even began when I had only heard of her. It was, in fact, the cause +of my throwing myself in Mr Boffin's way, and entering his +service. Miss Wilfer has never known this until now. I mention it +now, only as a corroboration (though I hope it may be needless) of +my being free from the sordid design attributed to me.' + +'Now, this is a very artful dog,' said Mr Boffin, with a deep look. +'This is a longer-headed schemer than I thought him. See how +patiently and methodically he goes to work. He gets to know about +me and my property, and about this young lady, and her share in +poor young John's story, and he puts this and that together, and he +says to himself, "I'll get in with Boffin, and I'll get in with this +young lady, and I'll work 'em both at the same time, and I'll bring +my pigs to market somewhere." I hear him say it, bless you! I +look at him, now, and I see him say it!' + +Mr Boffin pointed at the culprit, as it were in the act, and hugged +himself in his great penetration. + +'But luckily he hadn't to deal with the people he supposed, Bella, +my dear!' said Mr Boffin. 'No! Luckily he had to deal with you, +and with me, and with Daniel and Miss Dancer, and with Elwes, +and with Vulture Hopkins, and with Blewbury Jones and all the +rest of us, one down t'other come on. And he's beat; that's what he +is; regularly beat. He thought to squeeze money out of us, and he +has done for himself instead, Bella my dear!' + +Bella my dear made no response, gave no sign of acquiescence. +When she had first covered her face she had sunk upon a chair +with her hands resting on the back of it, and had never moved +since. There was a short silence at this point, and Mrs Boffin +softly rose as if to go to her. But, Mr Boffin stopped her with a +gesture, and she obediently sat down again and stayed where she +was. + +'There's your pay, Mister Rokesmith,' said the Golden Dustman, +jerking the folded scrap of paper he had in his hand, towards his +late Secretary. 'I dare say you can stoop to pick it up, after what +you have stooped to here.' + +'I have stooped to nothing but this,' Rokesmith answered as he +took it from the ground; 'and this is mine, for I have earned it by +the hardest of hard labour.' + +'You're a pretty quick packer, I hope,' said Mr Boffin; 'because the +sooner you are gone, bag and baggage, the better for all parties.' + +'You need have no fear of my lingering.' + +'There's just one thing though,' said Mr Boffin, 'that I should like to +ask you before we come to a good riddance, if it was only to show +this young lady how conceited you schemers are, in thinking that +nobody finds out how you contradict yourselves.' + +'Ask me anything you wish to ask,' returned Rokesmith, 'but use +the expedition that you recommend.' + +'You pretend to have a mighty admiration for this young lady?' said +Mr Boffin, laying his hand protectingly on Bella's head without +looking down at her. + +'I do not pretend.' + +'Oh! Well. You HAVE a mighty admiration for this young lady-- +since you are so particular?' + +'Yes.' + +'How do you reconcile that, with this young lady's being a weak- +spirited, improvident idiot, not knowing what was due to herself, +flinging up her money to the church-weathercocks, and racing off +at a splitting pace for the workhouse?' + +'I don't understand you.' + +'Don't you? Or won't you? What else could you have made this +young lady out to be, if she had listened to such addresses as +yours?' + +'What else, if I had been so happy as to win her affections and +possess her heart?' + +'Win her affections,' retorted Mr Boffin, with ineffable contempt, +'and possess her heart! Mew says the cat, Quack-quack says the +duck, Bow-wow-wow says the dog! Win her affections and +possess her heart! Mew, Quack-quack, Bow-wow!' + +John Rokesmith stared at him in his outburst, as if with some faint +idea that he had gone mad. + +'What is due to this young lady,' said Mr Boffin, 'is Money, and +this young lady right well knows it.' + +'You slander the young lady.' + +'YOU slander the young lady; you with your affections and hearts +and trumpery,' returned Mr Boffin. 'It's of a piece with the rest of +your behaviour. I heard of these doings of yours only last night, or +you should have heard of 'em from me, sooner, take your oath of it. +I heard of 'em from a lady with as good a headpiece as the best, +and she knows this young lady, and I know this young lady, and +we all three know that it's Money she makes a stand for--money, +money, money--and that you and your affections and hearts are a +Lie, sir!' + +'Mrs Boffin,' said Rokesmith, quietly turning to her, 'for your +delicate and unvarying kindness I thank you with the warmest +gratitude. Good-bye! Miss Wilfer, good-bye!' + +'And now, my dear,' said Mr Boffin, laying his hand on Bella's +head again, 'you may begin to make yourself quite comfortable, +and I hope you feel that you've been righted.' + +But, Bella was so far from appearing to feel it, that she shrank +from his hand and from the chair, and, starting up in an incoherent +passion of tears, and stretching out her arms, cried, 'O Mr +Rokesmith, before you go, if you could but make me poor again! +O! Make me poor again, Somebody, I beg and pray, or my heart +will break if this goes on! Pa, dear, make me poor again and take +me home! I was bad enough there, but I have been so much worse +here. Don't give me money, Mr Boffin, I won't have money. Keep +it away from me, and only let me speak to good little Pa, and lay +my head upon his shoulder, and tell him all my griefs. Nobody +else can understand me, nobody else can comfort me, nobody else +knows how unworthy I am, and yet can love me like a little child. +I am better with Pa than any one--more innocent, more sorry, more +glad!' So, crying out in a wild way that she could not bear this, +Bella drooped her head on Mrs Boffin's ready breast. + +John Rokesmith from his place in the room, and Mr Boffin from +his, looked on at her in silence until she was silent herself. Then +Mr Boffin observed in a soothing and comfortable tone, 'There, my +dear, there; you are righted now, and it's ALL right. I don't +wonder, I'm sure, at your being a little flurried by having a scene +with this fellow, but it's all over, my dear, and you're righted, and +it's--and it's ALL right!' Which Mr Boffin repeated with a highly +satisfied air of completeness and finality. + +'I hate you!' cried Bella, turning suddenly upon him, with a stamp +of her little foot--'at least, I can't hate you, but I don't like you!' + +'HUL--LO!' exclaimed Mr Boffin in an amazed under-tone. + +'You're a scolding, unjust, abusive, aggravating, bad old creature!' +cried Bella. 'I am angry with my ungrateful self for calling you +names; but you are, you are; you know you are!' + +Mr Boffin stared here, and stared there, as misdoubting that he +must be in some sort of fit. + +'I have heard you with shame,' said Bella. 'With shame for myself, +and with shame for you. You ought to be above the base tale- +bearing of a time-serving woman; but you are above nothing now.' + +Mr Boffin, seeming to become convinced that this was a fit, rolled +his eyes and loosened his neckcloth. + +'When I came here, I respected you and honoured you, and I soon +loved you,' cried Bella. 'And now I can't bear the sight of you. At +least, I don't know that I ought to go so far as that--only you're a-- +you're a Monster!' Having shot this bolt out with a great +expenditure of force, Bella hysterically laughed and cried together. + +'The best wish I can wish you is,' said Bella, returning to the +charge, 'that you had not one single farthing in the world. If any +true friend and well-wisher could make you a bankrupt, you would +be a Duck; but as a man of property you are a Demon!' + +After despatching this second bolt with a still greater expenditure +of force, Bella laughed and cried still more. + +'Mr Rokesmith, pray stay one moment. Pray hear one word from +me before you go! I am deeply sorry for the reproaches you have +borne on my account. Out of the depths of my heart I earnestly and +truly beg your pardon.' + +As she stepped towards him, he met her. As she gave him her +hand, he put it to his lips, and said, 'God bless you!' No laughing +was mixed with Bella's crying then; her tears were pure and +fervent. + +'There is not an ungenerous word that I have heard addressed to +you--heard with scorn and indignation, Mr Rokesmith--but it has +wounded me far more than you, for I have deserved it, and you +never have. Mr Rokesmith, it is to me you owe this perverted +account of what passed between us that night. I parted with the +secret, even while I was angry with myself for doing so. It was +very bad in me, but indeed it was not wicked. I did it in a moment +of conceit and folly--one of my many such moments--one of my +many such hours--years. As I am punished for it severely, try to +forgive it!' + +'I do with all my soul.' + +'Thank you. O thank you! Don't part from me till I have said one +other word, to do you justice. The only fault you can be truly +charged with, in having spoken to me as you did that night--with +how much delicacy and how much forbearance no one but I can +know or be grateful to you for--is, that you laid yourself open to be +slighted by a worldly shallow girl whose head was turned, and +who was quite unable to rise to the worth of what you offered her. +Mr Rokesmith, that girl has often seen herself in a pitiful and poor +light since, but never in so pitiful and poor a light as now, when +the mean tone in which she answered you--sordid and vain girl that +she was--has been echoed in her ears by Mr Boffin.' + +He kissed her hand again. + +'Mr Boffin's speeches were detestable to me, shocking to me,' said +Bella, startling that gentleman with another stamp of her little foot. +'It is quite true that there was a time, and very lately, when I +deserved to be so "righted," Mr Rokesmith; but I hope that I shall +never deserve it again!' + +He once more put her hand to his lips, and then relinquished it, and +left the room. Bella was hurrying back to the chair in which she +had hidden her face so long, when, catching sight of Mrs Boffin by +the way, she stopped at her. 'He is gone,' sobbed Bella indignantly, +despairingly, in fifty ways at once, with her arms round Mrs +Boffin's neck. 'He has been most shamefully abused, and most +unjustly and most basely driven away, and I am the cause of it!' + +All this time, Mr Boffin had been rolling his eyes over his loosened +neckerchief, as if his fit were still upon him. Appearing now to +think that he was coming to, he stared straight before him for a +while, tied his neckerchief again, took several long inspirations, +swallowed several times, and ultimately exclaimed with a deep +sigh, as if he felt himself on the whole better: 'Well!' + +No word, good or bad, did Mrs Boffin say; but she tenderly took +care of Bella, and glanced at her husband as if for orders. Mr +Boffin, without imparting any, took his seat on a chair over against +them, and there sat leaning forward, with a fixed countenance, his +legs apart, a hand on each knee, and his elbows squared, until +Bella should dry her eyes and raise her head, which in the fulness +of time she did. + +'I must go home,' said Bella, rising hurriedly. 'I am very grateful +to you for all you have done for me, but I can't stay here.' + +'My darling girl!' remonstrated Mrs Boffin. + +'No, I can't stay here,' said Bella; 'I can't indeed.--Ugh! you vicious +old thing!' (This to Mr Boffin.) + +'Don't be rash, my love,' urged Mrs Boffin. 'Think well of what +you do.' + +'Yes, you had better think well,' said Mr Boffin. + +'I shall never more think well of YOU,' cried Bella, cutting him +short, with intense defiance in her expressive little eyebrows, and +championship of the late Secretary in every dimple. 'No! Never +again! Your money has changed you to marble. You are a hard- +hearted Miser. You are worse than Dancer, worse than Hopkins, +worse than Blackberry Jones, worse than any of the wretches. And +more!' proceeded Bella, breaking into tears again, 'you were wholly +undeserving of the Gentleman you have lost.' + +'Why, you don't mean to say, Miss Bella,' the Golden Dustman +slowly remonstrated, 'that you set up Rokesmith against me?' + +'I do!' said Bella. 'He is worth a Million of you.' + +Very pretty she looked, though very angry, as she made herself as +tall as she possibly could (which was not extremely tall), and +utterly renounced her patron with a lofty toss of her rich brown +head. + +'I would rather he thought well of me,' said Bella, 'though he swept +the street for bread, than that you did, though you splashed the +mud upon him from the wheels of a chariot of pure gold.--There!' + +'Well I'm sure!' cried Mr Boffin, staring. + +'And for a long time past, when you have thought you set yourself +above him, I have only seen you under his feet,' said Bella--'There! +And throughout I saw in him the master, and I saw in you the +man--There! And when you used him shamefully, I took his part +and loved him--There! I boast of it!' + +After which strong avowal Bella underwent reaction, and cried to +any extent, with her face on the back of her chair. + +'Now, look here,' said Mr Boffin, as soon as he could find an +opening for breaking the silence and striking in. 'Give me your +attention, Bella. I am not angry.' + +'I AM!' said Bella. + +'I say,' resumed the Golden Dustman, 'I am not angry, and I mean +kindly to you, and I want to overlook this. So you'll stay where you +are, and we'll agree to say no more about it.' + +'No, I can't stay here,' cried Bella, rising hurriedly again; 'I can't +think of staying here. I must go home for good.' + +'Now, don't be silly,' Mr Boffin reasoned. 'Don't do what you can't +undo; don't do what you're sure to be sorry for.' + +'I shall never be sorry for it,' said Bella; 'and I should always be +sorry, and should every minute of my life despise myself if I +remained here after what has happened.' + +'At least, Bella,' argued Mr Boffin, 'let there be no mistake about it. +Look before you leap, you know. Stay where you are, and all's +well, and all's as it was to be. Go away, and you can never come +back.' + +'I know that I can never come back, and that's what I mean,' said +Bella. + +'You mustn't expect,' Mr Boffin pursued, 'that I'm a-going to settle +money on you, if you leave us like this, because I am not. No, +Bella! Be careful! Not one brass farthing.' + +'Expect!' said Bella, haughtily. 'Do you think that any power on +earth could make me take it, if you did, sir?' + +But there was Mrs Boffin to part from, and, in the full flush of her +dignity, the impressible little soul collapsed again. Down upon her +knees before that good woman, she rocked herself upon her breast, +and cried, and sobbed, and folded her in her arms with all her +might. + +'You're a dear, a dear, the best of dears!' cried Bella. 'You're the +best of human creatures. I can never be thankful enough to you, +and I can never forget you. If I should live to be blind and deaf I +know I shall see and hear you, in my fancy, to the last of my dim +old days!' + +Mrs Boffin wept most heartily, and embraced her with all +fondness; but said not one single word except that she was her dear +girl. She said that often enough, to be sure, for she said it over and +over again; but not one word else. + +Bella broke from her at length, and was going weeping out of the +room, when in her own little queer affectionate way, she half +relented towards Mr Boffin. + +'I am very glad,' sobbed Bella, 'that I called you names, sir, +because you richly deserved it. But I am very sorry that I called +you names, because you used to be so different. Say good-bye!' + +'Good-bye,' said Mr Boffin, shortly. + +'If I knew which of your hands was the least spoilt, I would ask +you to let me touch it,' said Bella, 'for the last time. But not +because I repent of what I have said to you. For I don't. It's true!' + +'Try the left hand,' said Mr Boffin, holding it out in a stolid +manner; 'it's the least used.' + +'You have been wonderfully good and kind to me,' said Bella, 'and +I kiss it for that. You have been as bad as bad could be to Mr +Rokesmith, and I throw it away for that. Thank you for myself, +and good-bye!' + +'Good-bye,' said Mr Boffin as before. + +Bella caught him round the neck and kissed him, and ran out for +ever. + +She ran up-stairs, and sat down on the floor in her own room, and +cried abundantly. But the day was declining and she had no time +to lose. She opened all the places where she kept her dresses; +selected only those she had brought with her, leaving all the rest; +and made a great misshapen bundle of them, to be sent for +afterwards. + +'I won't take one of the others,' said Bella, tying the knots of the +bundle very tight, in the severity of her resolution. 'I'll leave all the +presents behind, and begin again entirely on my own account.' +That the resolution might be thoroughly carried into practice, she +even changed the dress she wore, for that in which she had come to +the grand mansion. Even the bonnet she put on, was the bonnet +that had mounted into the Boffin chariot at Holloway. + +'Now, I am complete,' said Bella. 'It's a little trying, but I have +steeped my eyes in cold water, and I won't cry any more. You have +been a pleasant room to me, dear room. Adieu! We shall never +see each other again.' + +With a parting kiss of her fingers to it, she softly closed the door +and went with a light foot down the great staircase, pausing and +listening as she went, that she might meet none of the household. +No one chanced to be about, and she got down to the hall in quiet. +The door of the late Secretary's room stood open. She peeped in as +she passed, and divined from the emptiness of his table, and the +general appearance of things, that he was already gone. Softly +opening the great hall door, and softly closing it upon herself, she +turned and kissed it on the outside--insensible old combination of +wood and iron that it was!--before she ran away from the house at +a swift pace. + +'That was well done!' panted Bella, slackening in the next street, +and subsiding into a walk. 'If I had left myself any breath to cry +with, I should have cried again. Now poor dear darling little Pa, +you are going to see your lovely woman unexpectedly.' + + + +Chapter 16 + +THE FEAST OF THE THREE HOBGOBLINS + + +The City looked unpromising enough, as Bella made her way +along its gritty streets. Most of its money-mills were slackening +sail, or had left off grinding for the day. The master-millers had +already departed, and the journeymen were departing. There was a +jaded aspect on the business lanes and courts, and the very +pavements had a weary appearance, confused by the tread of a +million of feet. There must be hours of night to temper down the +day's distraction of so feverish a place. As yet the worry of the +newly-stopped whirling and grinding on the part of the money- +mills seemed to linger in the air, and the quiet was more like the +prostration of a spent giant than the repose of one who was +renewing his strength. + +If Bella thought, as she glanced at the mighty Bank, how agreeable +it would be to have an hour's gardening there, with a bright copper +shovel, among the money, still she was not in an avaricious vein. +Much improved in that respect, and with certain half-formed +images which had little gold in their composition, dancing before +her bright eyes, she arrived in the drug-flavoured region of +Mincing Lane, with the sensation of having just opened a drawer +in a chemist's shop. + +The counting-house of Chicksey, Veneering, and Stobbles was +pointed out by an elderly female accustomed to the care of offices, +who dropped upon Bella out of a public-house, wiping her mouth, +and accounted for its humidity on natural principles well known to +the physical sciences, by explaining that she had looked in at the +door to see what o'clock it was. The counting-house was a wall- +eyed ground floor by a dark gateway, and Bella was considering, +as she approached it, could there be any precedent in the City for +her going in and asking for R. Wilfer, when whom should she see, +sitting at one of the windows with the plate-glass sash raised, but +R. Wilfer himself, preparing to take a slight refection. + +On approaching nearer, Bella discerned that the refection had the +appearance of a small cottage-loaf and a pennyworth of milk. +Simultaneously with this discovery on her part, her father +discovered her, and invoked the echoes of Mincing Lane to exclaim +'My gracious me!' + +He then came cherubically flying out without a hat, and embraced +her, and handed her in. 'For it's after hours and I am all alone, my +dear,' he explained, 'and am having--as I sometimes do when they +are all gone--a quiet tea.' + +Looking round the office, as if her father were a captive and this +his cell, Bella hugged him and choked him to her heart's content. + +'I never was so surprised, my dear!' said her father. 'I couldn't +believe my eyes. Upon my life, I thought they had taken to lying! +The idea of your coming down the Lane yourself! Why didn't you +send the footman down the Lane, my dear?' + +'I have brought no footman with me, Pa.' + +'Oh indeed! But you have brought the elegant turn-out, my love?' + +'No, Pa.' + +'You never can have walked, my dear?' + +'Yes, I have, Pa.' + +He looked so very much astonished, that Bella could not make up +her mind to break it to him just yet. + +'The consequence is, Pa, that your lovely woman feels a little faint, +and would very much like to share your tea.' + +The cottage loaf and the pennyworth of milk had been set forth on +a sheet of paper on the window-seat. The cherubic pocket-knife, +with the first bit of the loaf still on its point, lay beside them where +it had been hastily thrown down. Bella took the bit off, and put it +in her mouth. 'My dear child,' said her father, 'the idea of your +partaking of such lowly fare! But at least you must have your own +loaf and your own penn'orth. One moment, my dear. The Dairy +is just over the way and round the corner.' + +Regardless of Bella's dissuasions he ran out, and quickly returned +with the new supply. 'My dear child,' he said, as he spread it on +another piece of paper before her, 'the idea of a splendid--!' and +then looked at her figure, and stopped short. + +'What's the matter, Pa?' + +'--of a splendid female,' he resumed more slowly, 'putting up with +such accommodation as the present!--Is that a new dress you have +on, my dear?' + +'No, Pa, an old one. Don't you remember it?' + +'Why, I THOUGHT I remembered it, my dear!' + +'You should, for you bought it, Pa.' + +'Yes, I THOUGHT I bought it my dear!' said the cherub, giving +himself a little shake, as if to rouse his faculties. + +'And have you grown so fickle that you don't like your own taste, +Pa dear?' + +'Well, my love,' he returned, swallowing a bit of the cottage loaf +with considerable effort, for it seemed to stick by the way: 'I should +have thought it was hardly sufficiently splendid for existing +circumstances.' + +'And so, Pa,' said Bella, moving coaxingly to his side instead of +remaining opposite, 'you sometimes have a quiet tea here all alone? +I am not in the tea's way, if I draw my arm over your shoulder like +this, Pa?' + +'Yes, my dear, and no, my dear. Yes to the first question, and +Certainly Not to the second. Respecting the quiet tea, my dear, +why you see the occupations of the day are sometimes a little +wearing; and if there's nothing interposed between the day and +your mother, why SHE is sometimes a little wearing, too.' + +'I know, Pa.' + +'Yes, my dear. So sometimes I put a quiet tea at the window here, +with a little quiet contemplation of the Lane (which comes +soothing), between the day, and domestic--' + +'Bliss,' suggested Bella, sorrowfully. + +'And domestic Bliss,' said her father, quite contented to accept the +phrase. + +Bella kissed him. 'And it is in this dark dingy place of captivity, +poor dear, that you pass all the hours of your life when you are not +at home?' + +'Not at home, or not on the road there, or on the road here, my love. +Yes. You see that little desk in the corner?' + +'In the dark corner, furthest both from the light and from the +fireplace? The shabbiest desk of all the desks?' + +'Now, does it really strike you in that point of view, my dear?' said +her father, surveying it artistically with his head on one side: 'that's +mine. That's called Rumty's Perch.' + +'Whose Perch?' asked Bella with great indignation. + +'Rumty's. You see, being rather high and up two steps they call it +a Perch. And they call ME Rumty.' + +'How dare they!' exclaimed Bella. + +'They're playful, Bella my dear; they're playful. They're more or +less younger than I am, and they're playful. What does it matter? +It might be Surly, or Sulky, or fifty disagreeable things that I really +shouldn't like to be considered. But Rumty! Lor, why not Rumty?' + +To inflict a heavy disappointment on this sweet nature, which had +been, through all her caprices, the object of her recognition, love, +and admiration from infancy, Bella felt to be the hardest task of her +hard day. 'I should have done better,' she thought, 'to tell him at +first; I should have done better to tell him just now, when he had +some slight misgiving; he is quite happy again, and I shall make +him wretched.' + +He was falling back on his loaf and milk, with the pleasantest +composure, and Bella stealing her arm a little closer about him, +and at the same time sticking up his hair with an irresistible +propensity to play with him founded on the habit of her whole life, +had prepared herself to say: 'Pa dear, don't be cast down, but I +must tell you something disagreeable!' when he interrupted her in +an unlooked-for manner. + +'My gracious me!' he exclaimed, invoking the Mincing Lane +echoes as before. 'This is very extraordinary!' + +'What is, Pa?' + +'Why here's Mr Rokesmith now!' + +'No, no, Pa, no,' cried Bella, greatly flurried. 'Surely not.' + +'Yes there is! Look here!' + +Sooth to say, Mr Rokesmith not only passed the window, but came +into the counting-house. And not only came into the counting- +house, but, finding himself alone there with Bella and her father, +rushed at Bella and caught her in his arms, with the rapturous +words 'My dear, dear girl; my gallant, generous, disinterested, +courageous, noble girl!' And not only that even, (which one might +have thought astonishment enough for one dose), but Bella, after +hanging her head for a moment, lifted it up and laid it on his +breast, as if that were her head's chosen and lasting resting-place! + +'I knew you would come to him, and I followed you,' said +Rokesmith. 'My love, my life! You ARE mine?' + +To which Bella responded, 'Yes, I AM yours if you think me worth +taking!' And after that, seemed to shrink to next to nothing in the +clasp of his arms, partly because it was such a strong one on his +part, and partly because there was such a yielding to it on hers. + +The cherub, whose hair would have done for itself under the +influence of this amazing spectacle, what Bella had just now done +for it, staggered back into the window-seat from which he had +risen, and surveyed the pair with his eyes dilated to their utmost. + +'But we must think of dear Pa,' said Bella; 'I haven't told dear Pa; +let us speak to Pa.' Upon which they turned to do so. + +'I wish first, my dear,' remarked the cherub faintly, 'that you'd have +the kindness to sprinkle me with a little milk, for I feel as if I was-- +Going.' + +In fact, the good little fellow had become alarmingly limp, and his +senses seemed to be rapidly escaping, from the knees upward. +Bella sprinkled him with kisses instead of milk, but gave him a +little of that article to drink; and he gradually revived under her +caressing care. + +'We'll break it to you gently, dearest Pa,' said Bella. + +'My dear,' returned the cherub, looking at them both, 'you broke so +much in the first--Gush, if I may so express myself--that I think I +am equal to a good large breakage now.' + +'Mr Wilfer,' said John Rokesmith, excitedly and joyfully, 'Bella +takes me, though I have no fortune, even no present occupation; +nothing but what I can get in the life before us. Bella takes me!' + +'Yes, I should rather have inferred, my dear sir,' returned the +cherub feebly, 'that Bella took you, from what I have within these +few minutes remarked.' + +'You don't know, Pa,' said Bella, 'how ill I have used him!' + +'You don't know, sir,' said Rokesmith, 'what a heart she has!' + +'You don't know, Pa,' said Bella, 'what a shocking creature I was +growing, when he saved me from myself!' + +'You don't know, sir,' said Rokesmith, 'what a sacrifice she has +made for me!' + +'My dear Bella,' replied the cherub, still pathetically scared, 'and +my dear John Rokesmith, if you will allow me so to call you--' + +'Yes do, Pa, do!' urged Bella. 'I allow you, and my will is his law. +Isn't it--dear John Rokesmith?' + +There was an engaging shyness in Bella, coupled with an engaging +tenderness of love and confidence and pride, in thus first calling +him by name, which made it quite excusable in John Rokesmith to +do what he did. What he did was, once more to give her the +appearance of vanishing as aforesaid. + +'I think, my dears,' observed the cherub, 'that if you could make it +convenient to sit one on one side of me, and the other on the other, +we should get on rather more consecutively, and make things +rather plainer. John Rokesmith mentioned, a while ago, that he +had no present occupation.' + +'None,' said Rokesmith. + +'No, Pa, none,' said Bella. + +'From which I argue,' proceeded the cherub, 'that he has left Mr +Boffin?' + +'Yes, Pa. And so--' + +'Stop a bit, my dear. I wish to lead up to it by degrees. And that +Mr Boffin has not treated him well?' + +'Has treated him most shamefully, dear Pa!' cried Bella with a +flashing face. + +'Of which,' pursued the cherub, enjoining patience with his hand, 'a +certain mercenary young person distantly related to myself, could +not approve? Am I leading up to it right?' + +'Could not approve, sweet Pa,' said Bella, with a tearful laugh and +a joyful kiss. + +'Upon which,' pursued the cherub, 'the certain mercenary young +person distantly related to myself, having previously observed and +mentioned to myself that prosperity was spoiling Mr Boffin, felt +that she must not sell her sense of what was right and what was +wrong, and what was true and what was false, and what was just +and what was unjust, for any price that could be paid to her by any +one alive? Am I leading up to it right?' + +With another tearful laugh Bella joyfully kissed him again. + +'And therefore--and therefore,' the cherub went on in a glowing +voice, as Bella's hand stole gradually up his waistcoat to his neck, +'this mercenary young person distantly related to myself, refused +the price, took off the splendid fashions that were part of it, put on +the comparatively poor dress that I had last given her, and trusting +to my supporting her in what was right, came straight to me. Have +I led up to it?' + +Bella's hand was round his neck by this time, and her face was on +it. + +'The mercenary young person distantly related to myself,' said her +good father, 'did well! The mercenary young person distantly +related to myself, did not trust to me in vain! I admire this +mercenary young person distantly related to myself, more in this +dress than if she had come to me in China silks, Cashmere shawls, +and Golconda diamonds. I love this young person dearly. I say to +the man of this young person's heart, out of my heart and with all +of it, "My blessing on this engagement betwixt you, and she brings +you a good fortune when she brings you the poverty she has +accepted for your sake and the honest truth's!"' + +The stanch little man's voice failed him as he gave John Rokesmith +his hand, and he was silent, bending his face low over his +daughter. But, not for long. He soon looked up, saying in a +sprightly tone: + +'And now, my dear child, if you think you can entertain John +Rokesmith for a minute and a half, I'll run over to the Dairy, and +fetch HIM a cottage loaf and a drink of milk, that we may all have +tea together.' + +It was, as Bella gaily said, like the supper provided for the three +nursery hobgoblins at their house in the forest, without their +thunderous low growlings of the alarming discovery, 'Somebody's +been drinking MY milk!' It was a delicious repast; by far the most +delicious that Bella, or John Rokesmith, or even R. Wilfer had ever +made. The uncongenial oddity of its surroundings, with the two +brass knobs of the iron safe of Chicksey, Veneering, and Stobbles +staring from a corner, like the eyes of some dull dragon, only made +it the more delightful. + +'To think,' said the cherub, looking round the office with +unspeakable enjoyment, 'that anything of a tender nature should +come off here, is what tickles me. To think that ever I should have +seen my Bella folded in the arms of her future husband, HERE, +you know!' + +It was not until the cottage loaves and the milk had for some time +disappeared, and the foreshadowings of night were creeping over +Mincing Lane, that the cherub by degrees became a little nervous, +and said to Bella, as he cleared his throat: + +'Hem!--Have you thought at all about your mother, my dear?' + +'Yes, Pa.' + +'And your sister Lavvy, for instance, my dear?' + +'Yes, Pa. I think we had better not enter into particulars at home. I +think it will be quite enough to say that I had a difference with Mr +Boffin, and have left for good.' + +'John Rokesmith being acquainted with your Ma, my love,' said +her father, after some slight hesitation, 'I need have no delicacy in +hinting before him that you may perhaps find your Ma a little +wearing.' + +'A little, patient Pa?' said Bella with a tuneful laugh: the tunefuller +for being so loving in its tone. + +'Well! We'll say, strictly in confidence among ourselves, wearing; +we won't qualify it,' the cherub stoutly admitted. 'And your +sister's temper is wearing.' + +'I don't mind, Pa.' + +'And you must prepare yourself you know, my precious,' said her +father, with much gentleness, 'for our looking very poor and +meagre at home, and being at the best but very uncomfortable, +after Mr Boffin's house.' + +'I don't mind, Pa. I could bear much harder trials--for John.' + +The closing words were not so softly and blushingly said but that +John heard them, and showed that he heard them by again +assisting Bella to another of those mysterious disappearances. + +'Well!' said the cherub gaily, and not expressing disapproval, 'when +you--when you come back from retirement, my love, and reappear +on the surface, I think it will be time to lock up and go.' + +If the counting-house of Chicksey, Veneering, and Stobbles had +ever been shut up by three happier people, glad as most people +were to shut it up, they must have been superlatively happy indeed. +But first Bella mounted upon Rumty's Perch, and said, 'Show me +what you do here all day long, dear Pa. Do you write like this?' +laying her round cheek upon her plump left arm, and losing sight +of her pen in waves of hair, in a highly unbusiness-like manner. +Though John Rokesmith seemed to like it. + +So, the three hobgoblins, having effaced all traces of their feast, +and swept up the crumbs, came out of Mincing Lane to walk to +Holloway; and if two of the hobgoblins didn't wish the distance +twice as long as it was, the third hobgoblin was much mistaken. +Indeed, that modest spirit deemed himself so much in the way of +their deep enjoyment of the journey, that he apologetically +remarked: 'I think, my dears, I'll take the lead on the other side of +the road, and seem not to belong to you.' Which he did, +cherubically strewing the path with smiles, in the absence of +flowers. + +It was almost ten o'clock when they stopped within view of Wilfer +Castle; and then, the spot being quiet and deserted, Bella began a +series of disappearances which threatened to last all night. + +'I think, John,' the cherub hinted at last, 'that if you can spare me +the young person distantly related to myself, I'll take her in.' + +'I can't spare her,' answered John, 'but I must lend her to you.'--My +Darling!' A word of magic which caused Bella instantly to +disappear again. + +'Now, dearest Pa,' said Bella, when she became visible, 'put your +hand in mine, and we'll run home as fast as ever we can run, and +get it over. Now, Pa. Once!--' + +'My dear,' the cherub faltered, with something of a craven air, 'I +was going to observe that if your mother--' + +'You mustn't hang back, sir, to gain time,' cried Bella, putting out +her right foot; 'do you see that, sir? That's the mark; come up to the +mark, sir. Once! Twice! Three times and away, Pa!' Off she +skimmed, bearing the cherub along, nor ever stopped, nor suffered +him to stop, until she had pulled at the bell. 'Now, dear Pa,' said +Bella, taking him by both ears as if he were a pitcher, and +conveying his face to her rosy lips, 'we are in for it!' + +Miss Lavvy came out to open the gate, waited on by that attentive +cavalier and friend of the family, Mr George Sampson. 'Why, it's +never Bella!' exclaimed Miss Lavvy starting back at the sight. And +then bawled, 'Ma! Here's Bella!' + +This produced, before they could get into the house, Mrs Wilfer. +Who, standing in the portal, received them with ghostly gloom, +and all her other appliances of ceremony. + +'My child is welcome, though unlooked for,' said she, at the time +presenting her cheek as if it were a cool slate for visitors to enrol +themselves upon. 'You too, R. W., are welcome, though late. +Does the male domestic of Mrs Boffin hear me there?' This deep- +toned inquiry was cast forth into the night, for response from the +menial in question. + +'There is no one waiting, Ma, dear,' said Bella. + +'There is no one waiting?' repeated Mrs Wilfer in majestic accents. + +'No, Ma, dear.' + +A dignified shiver pervaded Mrs Wilfer's shoulders and gloves, as +who should say, 'An Enigma!' and then she marched at the head of +the procession to the family keeping-room, where she observed: + +'Unless, R. W.': who started on being solemnly turned upon: 'you +have taken the precaution of making some addition to our frugal +supper on your way home, it will prove but a distasteful one to +Bella. Cold neck of mutton and a lettuce can ill compete with the +luxuries of Mr Boffin's board.' + +'Pray don't talk like that, Ma dear,' said Bella; 'Mr Boffin's board is +nothing to me.' + +But, here Miss Lavinia, who had been intently eyeing Bella's +bonnet, struck in with 'Why, Bella!' + +'Yes, Lavvy, I know.' + +The Irrepressible lowered her eyes to Bella's dress, and stooped to +look at it, exclaiming again: 'Why, Bella!' + +'Yes, Lavvy, I know what I have got on. I was going to tell Ma +when you interrupted. I have left Mr Boffin's house for good, Ma, +and I have come home again.' + +Mrs Wilfer spake no word, but, having glared at her offspring for a +minute or two in an awful silence, retired into her corner of state +backward, and sat down: like a frozen article on sale in a Russian +market. + +'In short, dear Ma,' said Bella, taking off the depreciated bonnet +and shaking out her hair, 'I have had a very serious difference with +Mr Boffin on the subject of his treatment of a member of his +household, and it's a final difference, and there's an end of all.' + +'And I am bound to tell you, my dear,' added R. W., submissively, +'that Bella has acted in a truly brave spirit, and with a truly right +feeling. And therefore I hope, my dear, you'll not allow yourself to +be greatly disappointed.' + +'George!' said Miss Lavvy, in a sepulchral, warning voice, founded +on her mother's; 'George Sampson, speak! What did I tell you +about those Boffins?' + +Mr Sampson perceiving his frail bark to be labouring among +shoals and breakers, thought it safest not to refer back to any +particular thing that he had been told, lest he should refer back to +the wrong thing. With admirable seamanship he got his bark into +deep water by murmuring 'Yes indeed.' + +'Yes! I told George Sampson, as George Sampson tells you, said +Miss Lavvy, 'that those hateful Boffins would pick a quarrel with +Bella, as soon as her novelty had worn off. Have they done it, or +have they not? Was I right, or was I wrong? And what do you say +to us, Bella, of your Boffins now?' + +'Lavvy and Ma,' said Bella, 'I say of Mr and Mrs Boffin what I +always have said; and I always shall say of them what I always +have said. But nothing will induce me to quarrel with any one to- +night. I hope you are not sorry to see me, Ma dear,' kissing her; +'and I hope you are not sorry to see me, Lavvy,' kissing her too; +'and as I notice the lettuce Ma mentioned, on the table, I'll make +the salad.' + +Bella playfully setting herself about the task, Mrs Wilfer's +impressive countenance followed her with glaring eyes, presenting +a combination of the once popular sign of the Saracen's Head, with +a piece of Dutch clock-work, and suggesting to an imaginative +mind that from the composition of the salad, her daughter might +prudently omit the vinegar. But no word issued from the majestic +matron's lips. And this was more terrific to her husband (as +perhaps she knew) than any flow of eloquence with which she +could have edified the company. + +'Now, Ma dear,' said Bella in due course, 'the salad's ready, and it's +past supper-time.' + +Mrs Wilfer rose, but remained speechless. 'George!' said Miss +Lavinia in her voice of warning, 'Ma's chair!' Mr Sampson flew to +the excellent lady's back, and followed her up close chair in hand, +as she stalked to the banquet. Arrived at the table, she took her +rigid seat, after favouring Mr Sampson with a glare for himself, +which caused the young gentleman to retire to his place in much +confusion. + +The cherub not presuming to address so tremendous an object, +transacted her supper through the agency of a third person, as +'Mutton to your Ma, Bella, my dear'; and 'Lavvy, I dare say your +Ma would take some lettuce if you were to put it on her plate.' +Mrs Wilfer's manner of receiving those viands was marked by +petrified absence of mind; in which state, likewise, she partook of +them, occasionally laying down her knife and fork, as saying +within her own spirit, 'What is this I am doing?' and glaring at one +or other of the party, as if in indignant search of information. A +magnetic result of such glaring was, that the person glared at could +not by any means successfully pretend to be ignorant of the fact: +so that a bystander, without beholding Mrs Wilfer at all, must have +known at whom she was glaring, by seeing her refracted from the +countenance of the beglared one. + +Miss Lavinia was extremely affable to Mr Sampson on this special +occasion, and took the opportunity of informing her sister why. + +'It was not worth troubling you about, Bella, when you were in a +sphere so far removed from your family as to make it a matter in +which you could be expected to take very little interest,' said +Lavinia with a toss of her chin; 'but George Sampson is paying his +addresses to me.' + +Bella was glad to hear it. Mr Sampson became thoughtfully red, +and felt called upon to encircle Miss Lavinia's waist with his arm; +but, encountering a large pin in the young lady's belt, scarified a +finger, uttered a sharp exclamation, and attracted the lightning of +Mrs Wilfer's glare. + +'George is getting on very well,' said Miss Lavinia which might +not have been supposed at the moment--'and I dare say we shall be +married, one of these days. I didn't care to mention it when you +were with your Bof--' here Miss Lavinia checked herself in a +bounce, and added more placidly, 'when you were with Mr and +Mrs Boffin; but now I think it sisterly to name the circumstance.' + +'Thank you, Lavvy dear. I congratulate you.' + +'Thank you, Bella. The truth is, George and I did discuss whether I +should tell you; but I said to George that you wouldn't be much +interested in so paltry an affair, and that it was far more likely you +would rather detach yourself from us altogether, than have him +added to the rest of us.' + +'That was a mistake, dear Lavvy,' said Bella. + +'It turns out to be,' replied Miss Lavinia; 'but circumstances have +changed, you know, my dear. George is in a new situation, and his +prospects are very good indeed. I shouldn't have had the courage +to tell you so yesterday, when you would have thought his +prospects poor, and not worth notice; but I feel quite bold tonight.' + +'When did you begin to feel timid, Lavvy? inquired Bella, with a +smile. + +'I didn't say that I ever felt timid, Bella,' replied the Irrepressible. +'But perhaps I might have said, if I had not been restrained by +delicacy towards a sister's feelings, that I have for some time felt +independent; too independent, my dear, to subject myself to have +my intended match (you'll prick yourself again, George) looked +down upon. It is not that I could have blamed you for looking +down upon it, when you were looking up to a rich and great match, +Bella; it is only that I was independent.' + +Whether the Irrepressible felt slighted by Bella's declaration that +she would not quarrel, or whether her spitefulness was evoked by +Bella's return to the sphere of Mr George Sampson's courtship, or +whether it was a necessary fillip to her spirits that she should come +into collision with somebody on the present occasion,--anyhow she +made a dash at her stately parent now, with the greatest +impetuosity. + +'Ma, pray don't sit staring at me in that intensely aggravating +manner! If you see a black on my nose, tell me so; if you don't, +leave me alone.' + +'Do you address Me in those words?' said Mrs Wilfer. 'Do you +presume?' + +'Don't talk about presuming, Ma, for goodness' sake. A girl who is +old enough to be engaged, is quite old enough to object to be stared +at as if she was a Clock.' + +'Audacious one!' said Mrs Wilfer. 'Your grandmamma, if so +addressed by one of her daughters, at any age, would have insisted +on her retiring to a dark apartment.' + +'My grandmamma,' returned Lavvy, folding her arms and leaning +back in her chair, 'wouldn't have sat staring people out of +countenance, I think.' + +'She would!' said Mrs Wilfer. + +'Then it's a pity she didn't know better,' said Lavvy. 'And if my +grandmamma wasn't in her dotage when she took to insisting on +people's retiring to dark apartments, she ought to have been. A +pretty exhibition my grandmamma must have made of herself! I +wonder whether she ever insisted on people's retiring into the ball +of St Paul's; and if she did, how she got them there!' + +'Silence!' proclaimed Mrs Wilfer. 'I command silence!' + +'I have not the slightest intention of being silent, Ma,' returned +Lavinia coolly, 'but quite the contrary. I am not going to be eyed as +if I had come from the Boffins, and sit silent under it. I am not +going to have George Sampson eyed as if HE had come from the +Boffins, and sit silent under it. If Pa thinks proper to be eyed as if +HE had come from the Boffins also, well and good. I don't choose +to. And I won't!' + +Lavinia's engineering having made this crooked opening at Bella, +Mrs Wilfer strode into it. + +'You rebellious spirit! You mutinous child! Tell me this, Lavinia. +If in violation of your mother's sentiments, you had condescended +to allow yourself to be patronized by the Boffins, and if you had +come from those halls of slavery--' + +'That's mere nonsense, Ma,' said Lavinia. + +'How!' exclaimed Mrs Wilfer, with sublime severity. + +'Halls of slavery, Ma, is mere stuff and nonsense,' returned the +unmoved Irrepressible. + +'I say, presumptuous child, if you had come from the +neighbourhood of Portland Place, bending under the yoke of +patronage and attended by its domestics in glittering garb to visit +me, do you think my deep-seated feelings could have been +expressed in looks?' + +'All I think about it, is,' returned Lavinia, 'that I should wish them +expressed to the right person.' + +'And if,' pursued her mother, 'if making light of my warnings that +the face of Mrs Boffin alone was a face teeming with evil, you had +clung to Mrs Boffin instead of to me, and had after all come home +rejected by Mrs Boffin, trampled under foot by Mrs Boffin, and +cast out by Mrs Boffin, do you think my feelings could have been +expressed in looks?' + +Lavinia was about replying to her honoured parent that she might +as well have dispensed with her looks altogether then, when Bella +rose and said, 'Good night, dear Ma. I have had a tiring day, and +I'll go to bed.' This broke up the agreeable party. Mr George +Sampson shortly afterwards took his leave, accompanied by Miss +Lavinia with a candle as far as the hall, and without a candle as far +as the garden gate; Mrs Wilfer, washing her hands of the Boffins, +went to bed after the manner of Lady Macbeth; and R. W. was left +alone among the dilapidations of the supper table, in a melancholy +attitude. + +But, a light footstep roused him from his meditations, and it was +Bella's. Her pretty hair was hanging all about her, and she had +tripped down softly, brush in hand, and barefoot, to say good-night +to him. + +'My dear, you most unquestionably ARE a lovely woman,' said the +cherub, taking up a tress in his hand. + +'Look here, sir,' said Bella; 'when your lovely woman marries, you +shall have that piece if you like, and she'll make you a chain of it. +Would you prize that remembrance of the dear creature?' + +'Yes, my precious.' + +'Then you shall have it if you're good, sir. I am very, very sorry, +dearest Pa, to have brought home all this trouble.' + +'My pet,' returned her father, in the simplest good faith, 'don't +make yourself uneasy about that. It really is not worth mentioning, +because things at home would have taken pretty much the same +turn any way. If your mother and sister don't find one subject to +get at times a little wearing on, they find another. We're never out +of a wearing subject, my dear, I assure you. I am afraid you find +your old room with Lavvy, dreadfully inconvenient, Bella?' + +'No I don't, Pa; I don't mind. Why don't I mind, do you think, Pa?' + +'Well, my child, you used to complain of it when it wasn't such a +contrast as it must be now. Upon my word, I can only answer, +because you are so much improved.' + +'No, Pa. Because I am so thankful and so happy!' + +Here she choked him until her long hair made him sneeze, and +then she laughed until she made him laugh, and then she choked +him again that they might not be overheard. + +'Listen, sir,' said Bella. 'Your lovely woman was told her fortune +to night on her way home. It won't be a large fortune, because if +the lovely woman's Intended gets a certain appointment that he +hopes to get soon, she will marry on a hundred and fifty pounds a +year. But that's at first, and even if it should never be more, the +lovely woman will make it quite enough. But that's not all, sir. In +the fortune there's a certain fair man--a little man, the fortune-teller +said--who, it seems, will always find himself near the lovely +woman, and will always have kept, expressly for him, such a +peaceful corner in the lovely woman's little house as never was. +Tell me the name of that man, sir.' + +'Is he a Knave in the pack of cards?' inquired the cherub, with a +twinkle in his eyes. + +'Yes!' cried Bella, in high glee, choking him again. 'He's the +Knave of Wilfers! Dear Pa, the lovely woman means to look +forward to this fortune that has been told for her, so delightfully, +and to cause it to make her a much better lovely woman than she +ever has been yet. What the little fair man is expected to do, sir, is +to look forward to it also, by saying to himself when he is in +danger of being over-worried, "I see land at last!" + +'I see land at last!' repeated her father. + +'There's a dear Knave of Wilfers!' exclaimed Bella; then putting out +her small white bare foot, 'That's the mark, sir. Come to the mark. +Put your boot against it. We keep to it together, mind! Now, sir, +you may kiss the lovely woman before she runs away, so thankful +and so happy. O yes, fair little man, so thankful and so happy!' + + + +Chapter 17 + +A SOCIAL CHORUS + + +Amazement sits enthroned upon the countenances of Mr and Mrs +Alfred Lammle's circle of acquaintance, when the disposal of their +first-class furniture and effects (including a Billiard Table in +capital letters), 'by auction, under a bill of sale,' is publicly +announced on a waving hearthrug in Sackville Street. But, nobody +is half so much amazed as Hamilton Veneering, Esquire, M.P. for +Pocket-Breaches, who instantly begins to find out that the +Lammles are the only people ever entered on his soul's register, +who are NOT the oldest and dearest friends he has in the world. +Mrs Veneering, W.M.P. for Pocket-Breaches, like a faithful wife +shares her husband's discovery and inexpressible astonishment. +Perhaps the Veneerings twain may deem the last unutterable +feeling particularly due to their reputation, by reason that once +upon a time some of the longer heads in the City are whispered to +have shaken themselves, when Veneering's extensive dealings and +great wealth were mentioned. But, it is certain that neither Mr nor +Mrs Veneering can find words to wonder in, and it becomes +necessary that they give to the oldest and dearest friends they have +in the world, a wondering dinner. + +For, it is by this time noticeable that, whatever befals, the +Veneerings must give a dinner upon it. Lady Tippins lives in a +chronic state of invitation to dine with the Veneerings, and in a +chronic state of inflammation arising from the dinners. Boots and +Brewer go about in cabs, with no other intelligible business on +earth than to beat up people to come and dine with the Veneerings. +Veneering pervades the legislative lobbies, intent upon entrapping +his fellow-legislators to dinner. Mrs Veneering dined with five- +and-twenty bran-new faces over night; calls upon them all to day; +sends them every one a dinner-card to-morrow, for the week after +next; before that dinner is digested, calls upon their brothers and +sisters, their sons and daughters, their nephews and nieces, their +aunts and uncles and cousins, and invites them all to dinner. And +still, as at first, howsoever, the dining circle widens, it is to be +observed that all the diners are consistent in appearing to go to the +Veneerings, not to dine with Mr and Mrs Veneering (which would +seem to be the last thing in their minds), but to dine with one +another. + +Perhaps, after all,--who knows?--Veneering may find this dining, +though expensive, remunerative, in the sense that it makes +champions. Mr Podsnap, as a representative man, is not alone in +caring very particularly for his own dignity, if not for that of his +acquaintances, and therefore in angrily supporting the +acquaintances who have taken out his Permit, lest, in their being +lessened, he should be. The gold and silver camels, and the ice- +pails, and the rest of the Veneering table decorations, make a +brilliant show, and when I, Podsnap, casually remark elsewhere +that I dined last Monday with a gorgeous caravan of camels, I find +it personally offensive to have it hinted to me that they are broken- +kneed camels, or camels labouring under suspicion of any sort. 'I +don't display camels myself, I am above them: I am a more solid +man; but these camels have basked in the light of my countenance, +and how dare you, sir, insinuate to me that I have irradiated any +but unimpeachable camels?' + +The camels are polishing up in the Analytical's pantry for the +dinner of wonderment on the occasion of the Lammles going to +pieces, and Mr Twemlow feels a little queer on the sofa at his +lodgings over the stable yard in Duke Street, Saint James's, in +consequence of having taken two advertised pills at about mid-day, +on the faith of the printed representation accompanying the box +(price one and a penny halfpenny, government stamp included), +that the same 'will be found highly salutary as a precautionary +measure in connection with the pleasures of the table.' To whom, +while sickly with the fancy of an insoluble pill sticking in his +gullet, and also with the sensation of a deposit of warm gum +languidly wandering within him a little lower down, a servant +enters with the announcement that a lady wishes to speak with +him. + +'A lady!' says Twemlow, pluming his ruffled feathers. 'Ask the +favour of the lady's name.' + +The lady's name is Lammle. The lady will not detain Mr +Twemlow longer than a very few minutes. The lady is sure that +Mr Twemlow will do her the kindness to see her, on being told that +she particularly desires a short interview. The lady has no doubt +whatever of Mr Twemlow's compliance when he hears her name. +Has begged the servant to be particular not to mistake her name. +Would have sent in a card, but has none. + +'Show the lady in.' Lady shown in, comes in. + +Mr Twemlow's little rooms are modestly furnished, in an old- +fashioned manner (rather like the housekeeper's room at +Snigsworthy Park), and would be bare of mere ornament, were it +not for a full-length engraving of the sublime Snigsworth over the +chimneypiece, snorting at a Corinthian column, with an enormous +roll of paper at his feet, and a heavy curtain going to tumble down +on his head; those accessories being understood to represent the +noble lord as somehow in the act of saving his country. + +'Pray take a seat, Mrs Lammle.' Mrs Lammle takes a seat and +opens the conversation. + +'I have no doubt, Mr Twemlow, that you have heard of a reverse of +fortune having befallen us. Of course you have heard of it, for no +kind of news travels so fast--among one's friends especially.' + +Mindful of the wondering dinner, Twemlow, with a little twinge, +admits the imputation. + +'Probably it will not,' says Mrs Lammle, with a certain hardened +manner upon her, that makes Twemlow shrink, 'have surprised you +so much as some others, after what passed between us at the house +which is now turned out at windows. I have taken the liberty of +calling upon you, Mr Twemlow, to add a sort of postscript to what +I said that day.' + +Mr Twemlow's dry and hollow cheeks become more dry and +hollow at the prospect of some new complication. + +'Really,' says the uneasy little gentleman, 'really, Mrs Lammle, I +should take it as a favour if you could excuse me from any further +confidence. It has ever been one of the objects of my life--which, +unfortunately, has not had many objects--to be inoffensive, and to +keep out of cabals and interferences.' + +Mrs Lammle, by far the more observant of the two, scarcely finds it +necessary to look at Twemlow while he speaks, so easily does she +read him. + +'My postscript--to retain the term I have used'--says Mrs Lammle, +fixing her eyes on his face, to enforce what she says herself-- +'coincides exactly with what you say, Mr Twemlow. So far from +troubling you with any new confidence, I merely wish to remind +you what the old one was. So far from asking you for interference, +I merely wish to claim your strict neutrality.' + +Twemlow going on to reply, she rests her eyes again, knowing her +ears to be quite enough for the contents of so weak a vessel. + +'I can, I suppose,' says Twemlow, nervously, 'offer no reasonable +objection to hearing anything that you do me the honour to wish to +say to me under those heads. But if I may, with all possible +delicacy and politeness, entreat you not to range beyond them, I--I +beg to do so.' + +'Sir,' says Mrs Lammle, raising her eyes to his face again, and +quite daunting him with her hardened manner, 'I imparted to you a +certain piece of knowledge, to be imparted again, as you thought +best, to a certain person.' + +'Which I did,' says Twemlow. + +'And for doing which, I thank you; though, indeed, I scarcely know +why I turned traitress to my husband in the matter, for the girl is a +poor little fool. I was a poor little fool once myself; I can find no +better reason.' Seeing the effect she produces on him by her +indifferent laugh and cold look, she keeps her eyes upon him as +she proceeds. 'Mr Twemlow, if you should chance to see my +husband, or to see me, or to see both of us, in the favour or +confidence of any one else--whether of our common acquaintance +or not, is of no consequence--you have no right to use against us +the knowledge I intrusted you with, for one special purpose which +has been accomplished. This is what I came to say. It is not a +stipulation; to a gentleman it is simply a reminder.' + +Twemlow sits murmuring to himself with his hand to his forehead. + +'It is so plain a case,' Mrs Lammle goes on, 'as between me (from +the first relying on your honour) and you, that I will not waste +another word upon it.' She looks steadily at Mr Twemlow, until, +with a shrug, he makes her a little one-sided bow, as though saying +'Yes, I think you have a right to rely upon me,' and then she +moistens her lips, and shows a sense of relief. + +'I trust I have kept the promise I made through your servant, that I +would detain you a very few minutes. I need trouble you no +longer, Mr Twemlow.' + +'Stay!' says Twemlow, rising as she rises. 'Pardon me a moment. I +should never have sought you out, madam, to say what I am going +to say, but since you have sought me out and are here, I will throw +it off my mind. Was it quite consistent, in candour, with our +taking that resolution against Mr Fledgeby, that you should +afterwards address Mr Fledgeby as your dear and confidential +friend, and entreat a favour of Mr Fledgeby? Always supposing +that you did; I assert no knowledge of my own on the subject; it +has been represented to me that you did.' + +'Then he told you?' retorts Mrs Lammle, who again has saved her +eyes while listening, and uses them with strong effect while +speaking. + +'Yes.' + +'It is strange that he should have told you the truth,' says Mrs +Lammle, seriously pondering. 'Pray where did a circumstance so +very extraordinary happen?' + +Twemlow hesitates. He is shorter than the lady as well as weaker, +and, as she stands above him with her hardened manner and her +well-used eyes, he finds himself at such a disadvantage that he +would like to be of the opposite sex. + +'May I ask where it happened, Mr Twemlow? In strict +confidence?' + +'I must confess,' says the mild little gentleman, coming to his +answer by degrees, 'that I felt some compunctions when Mr +Fledgeby mentioned it. I must admit that I could not regard myself +in an agreeable light. More particularly, as Mr Fledgeby did, with +great civility, which I could not feel that I deserved from him, +render me the same service that you had entreated him to render +you. + +It is a part of the true nobility of the poor gentleman's soul to say +this last sentence. 'Otherwise,' he has reflected, 'I shall assume the +superior position of having no difficulties of my own, while I know +of hers. Which would be mean, very mean. + +'Was Mr Fledgeby's advocacy as effectual in your case as in ours?' +Mrs Lammle demands. + +'As ineffectual.' + +'Can you make up your mind to tell me where you saw Mr +Fledgeby, Mr Twemlow?' + +'I beg your pardon. I fully intended to have done so. The +reservation was not intentional. I encountered Mr Fledgeby, quite +by accident, on the spot.--By the expression, on the spot, I mean at +Mr Riah's in Saint Mary Axe.' + +'Have you the misfortune to be in Mr Riah's hands then?' + +'Unfortunately, madam,' returns Twemlow, 'the one money +obligation to which I stand committed, the one debt of my life (but +it is a just debt; pray observe that I don't dispute it), has fallen into +Mr Riah's hands.' + +'Mr Twemlow,' says Mrs Lammle, fixing his eyes with hers: which +he would prevent her doing if he could, but he can't; 'it has fallen +into Mr Fledgeby's hands. Mr Riah is his mask. It has fallen into +Mr Fledgeby's hands. Let me tell you that, for your guidance. The +information may be of use to you, if only to prevent your credulity, +in judging another man's truthfulness by your own, from being +imposed upon.' + +'Impossible!' cries Twemlow, standing aghast. 'How do you +know it?' + +'I scarcely know how I know it. The whole train of circumstances +seemed to take fire at once, and show it to me.' + +'Oh! Then you have no proof.' + +'It is very strange,' says Mrs Lammle, coldly and boldly, and with +some disdain, 'how like men are to one another in some things, +though their characters are as different as can be! No two men can +have less affinity between them, one would say, than Mr Twemlow +and my husband. Yet my husband replies to me "You have no +proof," and Mr Twemlow replies to me with the very same words!' + +'But why, madam?' Twemlow ventures gently to argue. 'Consider +why the very same words? Because they state the fact. Because +you HAVE no proof.' + +'Men are very wise in their way,' quoth Mrs Lammle, glancing +haughtily at the Snigsworth portrait, and shaking out her dress +before departing; 'but they have wisdom to learn. My husband, +who is not over-confiding, ingenuous, or inexperienced, sees this +plain thing no more than Mr Twemlow does--because there is no +proof! Yet I believe five women out of six, in my place, would see +it as clearly as I do. However, I will never rest (if only in +remembrance of Mr Fledgeby's having kissed my hand) until my +husband does see it. And you will do well for yourself to see it +from this time forth, Mr Twemlow, though I CAN give you no +proof.' + +As she moves towards the door, Mr Twemlow, attending on her, +expresses his soothing hope that the condition of Mr Lammle's +affairs is not irretrievable. + +'I don't know,' Mrs Lammle answers, stopping, and sketching out +the pattern of the paper on the wall with the point of her parasol; 'it +depends. There may be an opening for him dawning now, or there +may be none. We shall soon find out. If none, we are bankrupt +here, and must go abroad, I suppose.' + +Mr Twemlow, in his good-natured desire to make the best of it, +remarks that there are pleasant lives abroad. + +'Yes,' returns Mrs Lammle, still sketching on the wall; 'but I doubt +whether billiard-playing, card-playing, and so forth, for the means +to live under suspicion at a dirty table-d'hote, is one of them.' + +It is much for Mr Lammle, Twemlow politely intimates (though +greatly shocked), to have one always beside him who is attached to +him in all his fortunes, and whose restraining influence will +prevent him from courses that would be discreditable and ruinous. +As he says it, Mrs Lammle leaves off sketching, and looks at him. + +'Restraining influence, Mr Twemlow? We must eat and drink, and +dress, and have a roof over our heads. Always beside him and +attached in all his fortunes? Not much to boast of in that; what can +a woman at my age do? My husband and I deceived one another +when we married; we must bear the consequences of the +deception--that is to say, bear one another, and bear the burden of +scheming together for to-day's dinner and to-morrow's breakfast-- +till death divorces us.' + +With those words, she walks out into Duke Street, Saint James's. +Mr Twemlow returning to his sofa, lays down his aching head on +its slippery little horsehair bolster, with a strong internal conviction +that a painful interview is not the kind of thing to be taken after the +dinner pills which are so highly salutary in connexion with the +pleasures of the table. + +But, six o'clock in the evening finds the worthy little gentleman +getting better, and also getting himself into his obsolete little silk +stockings and pumps, for the wondering dinner at the Veneerings. +And seven o'clock in the evening finds him trotting out into Duke +Street, to trot to the corner and save a sixpence in coach-hire. + +Tippins the divine has dined herself into such a condition by this +time, that a morbid mind might desire her, for a blessed change, to +sup at last, and turn into bed. Such a mind has Mr Eugene +Wrayburn, whom Twemlow finds contemplating Tippins with the +moodiest of visages, while that playful creature rallies him on +being so long overdue at the woolsack. Skittish is Tippins with +Mortimer Lightwood too, and has raps to give him with her fan for +having been best man at the nuptials of these deceiving what's- +their-names who have gone to pieces. Though, indeed, the fan is +generally lively, and taps away at the men in all directions, with +something of a grisly sound suggestive of the clattering of Lady +Tippins's bones. + +A new race of intimate friends has sprung up at Veneering's since +he went into Parliament for the public good, to whom Mrs +Veneering is very attentive. These friends, like astronomical +distances, are only to be spoken of in the very largest figures. +Boots says that one of them is a Contractor who (it has been +calculated) gives employment, directly and indirectly, to five +hundred thousand men. Brewer says that another of them is a +Chairman, in such request at so many Boards, so far apart, that he +never travels less by railway than three thousand miles a week. +Buffer says that another of them hadn't a sixpence eighteen months +ago, and, through the brilliancy of his genius in getting those +shares issued at eighty-five, and buying them all up with no money +and selling them at par for cash, has now three hundred and +seventy-five thousand pounds--Buffer particularly insisting on the +odd seventy-five, and declining to take a farthing less. With +Buffer, Boots, and Brewer, Lady Tippins is eminently facetious on +the subject of these Fathers of the Scrip-Church: surveying them +through her eyeglass, and inquiring whether Boots and Brewer and +Buffer think they will make her fortune if she makes love to them? +with other pleasantries of that nature. Veneering, in his different +way, is much occupied with the Fathers too, piously retiring with +them into the conservatory, from which retreat the word +'Committee' is occasionally heard, and where the Fathers instruct +Veneering how he must leave the valley of the piano on his left, +take the level of the mantelpiece, cross by an open cutting at the +candelabra, seize the carrying-traffic at the console, and cut up the +opposition root and branch at the window curtains. + +Mr and Mrs Podsnap are of the company, and the Fathers descry in +Mrs Podsnap a fine woman. She is consigned to a Father--Boots's +Father, who employs five hundred thousand men--and is brought +to anchor on Veneering's left; thus affording opportunity to the +sportive Tippins on his right (he, as usual, being mere vacant +space), to entreat to be told something about those loves of +Navvies, and whether they really do live on raw beefsteaks, and +drink porter out of their barrows. But, in spite of such little +skirmishes it is felt that this was to be a wondering dinner, and that +the wondering must not be neglected. Accordingly, Brewer, as the +man who has the greatest reputation to sustain, becomes the +interpreter of the general instinct. + +'I took,' says Brewer in a favourable pause, 'a cab this morning, +and I rattled off to that Sale.' + +Boots (devoured by envy) says, 'So did I.' + +Buffer says, 'So did I'; but can find nobody to care whether he did +or not. + +'And what was it like?' inquires Veneering. + +'I assure you,' replies Brewer, looking about for anybody else to +address his answer to, and giving the preference to Lightwood; 'I +assure you, the things were going for a song. Handsome things +enough, but fetching nothing.' + +'So I heard this afternoon,' says Lightwood. + +Brewer begs to know now, would it be fair to ask a professional +man how--on--earth--these--people--ever--did--come--TO--such-- +A--total smash? (Brewer's divisions being for emphasis.) + +Lightwood replies that he was consulted certainly, but could give +no opinion which would pay off the Bill of Sale, and therefore +violates no confidence in supposing that it came of their living +beyond their means. + +'But how,' says Veneering, 'CAN people do that!' + +Hah! That is felt on all hands to be a shot in the bull's eye. How +CAN people do that! The Analytical Chemist going round with +champagne, looks very much as if HE could give them a pretty +good idea how people did that, if he had a mind. + +'How,' says Mrs Veneering, laying down her fork to press her +aquiline hands together at the tips of the fingers, and addressing +the Father who travels the three thousand miles per week: 'how a +mother can look at her baby, and know that she lives beyond her +husband's means, I cannot imagine.' + +Eugene suggests that Mrs Lammle, not being a mother, had no +baby to look at. + +'True,' says Mrs Veneering, 'but the principle is the same.' + +Boots is clear that the principle is the same. So is Buffer. It is the +unfortunate destiny of Buffer to damage a cause by espousing it. +The rest of the company have meekly yielded to the proposition +that the principle is the same, until Buffer says it is; when instantly +a general murmur arises that the principle is not the same. + +'But I don't understand,' says the Father of the three hundred and +seventy-five thousand pounds, '--if these people spoken of, +occupied the position of being in society--they were in society?' + +Veneering is bound to confess that they dined here, and were even +married from here. + +'Then I don't understand,' pursues the Father, 'how even their living +beyond their means could bring them to what has been termed a +total smash. Because, there is always such a thing as an +adjustment of affairs, in the case of people of any standing at all.' + +Eugene (who would seem to be in a gloomy state of +suggestiveness), suggests, 'Suppose you have no means and live +beyond them?' + +This is too insolvent a state of things for the Father to entertain. It +is too insolvent a state of things for any one with any self-respect to +entertain, and is universally scouted. But, it is so amazing how +any people can have come to a total smash, that everybody feels +bound to account for it specially. One of the Fathers says, 'Gaming +table.' Another of the Fathers says, 'Speculated without knowing +that speculation is a science.' Boots says 'Horses.' Lady Tippins +says to her fan, 'Two establishments.' Mr Podsnap, saying +nothing, is referred to for his opinion; which he delivers as follows; +much flushed and extremely angry: + +'Don't ask me. I desire to take no part in the discussion of these +people's affairs. I abhor the subject. It is an odious subject, an +offensive subject, a subject that makes me sick, and I--' And with +his favourite right-arm flourish which sweeps away everything and +settles it for ever, Mr Podsnap sweeps these inconveniently +unexplainable wretches who have lived beyond their means and +gone to total smash, off the face of the universe. + +Eugene, leaning back in his chair, is observing Mr Podsnap with +an irreverent face, and may be about to offer a new suggestion, +when the Analytical is beheld in collision with the Coachman; the +Coachman manifesting a purpose of coming at the company with a +silver salver, as though intent upon making a collection for his wife +and family; the Analytical cutting him off at the sideboard. The +superior stateliness, if not the superior generalship, of the +Analytical prevails over a man who is as nothing off the box; and +the Coachman, yielding up his salver, retires defeated. + +Then, the Analytical, perusing a scrap of paper lying on the salver, +with the air of a literary Censor, adjusts it, takes his time about +going to the table with it, and presents it to Mr Eugene Wrayburn. +Whereupon the pleasant Tippins says aloud, 'The Lord Chancellor +has resigned!' + +With distracting coolness and slowness--for he knows the curiosity +of the Charmer to be always devouring--Eugene makes a pretence +of getting out an eyeglass, polishing it, and reading the paper with +difficulty, long after he has seen what is written on it. What is +written on it in wet ink, is: + +'Young Blight.' + +'Waiting?' says Eugene over his shoulder, in confidence, with the +Analytical. + +'Waiting,' returns the Analytical in responsive confidence. + +Eugene looks 'Excuse me,' towards Mrs Veneering, goes out, and +finds Young Blight, Mortimer's clerk, at the hall-door. + +'You told me to bring him, sir, to wherever you was, if he come +while you was out and I was in,' says that discreet young +gentleman, standing on tiptoe to whisper; 'and I've brought him.' + +'Sharp boy. Where is he?' asks Eugene. + +'He's in a cab, sir, at the door. I thought it best not to show him, +you see, if it could be helped; for he's a-shaking all over, like-- +Blight's simile is perhaps inspired by the surrounding dishes of +sweets--'like Glue Monge.' + +'Sharp boy again,' returns Eugene. 'I'll go to him.' + +Goes out straightway, and, leisurely leaning his arms on the open +window of a cab in waiting, looks in at Mr Dolls: who has brought +his own atmosphere with him, and would seem from its odour to +have brought it, for convenience of carriage, in a rum-cask. + +'Now Dolls, wake up!' + +'Mist Wrayburn? Drection! Fifteen shillings!' + +After carefully reading the dingy scrap of paper handed to him, and +as carefully tucking it into his waistcoat pocket, Eugene tells out +the money; beginning incautiously by telling the first shilling into +Mr Dolls's hand, which instantly jerks it out of window; and +ending by telling the fifteen shillings on the seat. + +'Give him a ride back to Charing Cross, sharp boy, and there get +rid of him.' + +Returning to the dining-room, and pausing for an instant behind +the screen at the door, Eugene overhears, above the hum and +clatter, the fair Tippins saying: 'I am dying to ask him what he +was called out for!' + +'Are you?' mutters Eugene, 'then perhaps if you can't ask him, +you'll die. So I'll be a benefactor to society, and go. A stroll and a +cigar, and I can think this over. Think this over.' Thus, with a +thoughtful face, he finds his hat and cloak, unseen of the +Analytical, and goes his way. + + + +BOOK THE FOURTH + +A TURNING + + + +Chapter 1 + +SETTING TRAPS + + +Plashwater Weir Mill Lock looked tranquil and pretty on an +evening in the summer time. A soft air stirred the leaves of the +fresh green trees, and passed like a smooth shadow over the river, +and like a smoother shadow over the yielding grass. The voice of +the falling water, like the voices of the sea and the wind, were as +an outer memory to a contemplative listener; but not particularly so +to Mr Riderhood, who sat on one of the blunt wooden levers of his +lock-gates, dozing. Wine must be got into a butt by some agency +before it can be drawn out; and the wine of sentiment never having +been got into Mr Riderhood by any agency, nothing in nature +tapped him. + +As the Rogue sat, ever and again nodding himself off his balance, +his recovery was always attended by an angry stare and growl, as +if, in the absence of any one else, he had aggressive inclinations +towards himself. In one of these starts the cry of 'Lock, ho! Lock!' +prevented his relapse into a doze. Shaking himself as he got up +like the surly brute he was, he gave his growl a responsive twist at +the end, and turned his face down-stream to see who hailed. + +It was an amateur-sculler, well up to his work though taking it +easily, in so light a boat that the Rogue remarked: 'A little less on +you, and you'd a'most ha' been a Wagerbut'; then went to work at +his windlass handles and sluices, to let the sculler in. As the latter +stood in his boat, holding on by the boat-hook to the woodwork at +the lock side, waiting for the gates to open, Rogue Riderhood +recognized his 'T'other governor,' Mr Eugene Wrayburn; who was, +however, too indifferent or too much engaged to recognize him. + +The creaking lock-gates opened slowly, and the light boat passed +in as soon as there was room enough, and the creaking lock-gates +closed upon it, and it floated low down in the dock between the +two sets of gates, until the water should rise and the second gates +should open and let it out. When Riderhood had run to his second +windlass and turned it, and while he leaned against the lever of +that gate to help it to swing open presently, he noticed, lying to rest +under the green hedge by the towing-path astern of the Lock, a +Bargeman. + +The water rose and rose as the sluice poured in, dispersing the +scum which had formed behind the lumbering gates, and sending +the boat up, so that the sculler gradually rose like an apparition +against the light from the bargeman's point of view. Riderhood +observed that the bargeman rose too, leaning on his arm, and +seemed to have his eyes fastened on the rising figure. + +But, there was the toll to be taken, as the gates were now +complaining and opening. The T'other governor tossed it ashore, +twisted in a piece of paper, and as he did so, knew his man. + +'Ay, ay? It's you, is it, honest friend?' said Eugene, seating himself +preparatory to resuming his sculls. 'You got the place, then?' + +'I got the place, and no thanks to you for it, nor yet none to Lawyer +Lightwood,' gruffly answered Riderhood. + +'We saved our recommendation, honest fellow,' said Eugene, 'for +the next candidate--the one who will offer himself when you are +transported or hanged. Don't be long about it; will you be so +good?' + +So imperturbable was the air with which he gravely bent to his +work that Riderhood remained staring at him, without having +found a retort, until he had rowed past a line of wooden objects by +the weir, which showed like huge teetotums standing at rest in the +water, and was almost hidden by the drooping boughs on the left +bank, as he rowed away, keeping out of the opposing current. It +being then too late to retort with any effect--if that could ever have +been done--the honest man confined himself to cursing and +growling in a grim under-tone. Having then got his gates shut, he +crossed back by his plank lock-bridge to the towing-path side of +the river. + +If, in so doing, he took another glance at the bargeman, he did it by +stealth. He cast himself on the grass by the Lock side, in an +indolent way, with his back in that direction, and, having gathered +a few blades, fell to chewing them. The dip of Eugene Wrayburn's +sculls had become hardly audible in his ears when the bargeman +passed him, putting the utmost width that he could between them, +and keeping under the hedge. Then, Riderhood sat up and took a +long look at his figure, and then cried: 'Hi--I--i! Lock, ho! Lock! +Plashwater Weir Mill Lock!' + +The bargeman stopped, and looked back. + +'Plashwater Weir Mill Lock, T'otherest gov--er--nor--or--or--or!' +cried Mr Riderhood, with his hands to his mouth. + +The bargeman turned back. Approaching nearer and nearer, the +bargeman became Bradley Headstone, in rough water-side second- +hand clothing. + +'Wish I may die,' said Riderhood, smiting his right leg, and +laughing, as he sat on the grass, 'if you ain't ha' been a imitating +me, T'otherest governor! Never thought myself so good-looking +afore!' + +Truly, Bradley Headstone had taken careful note of the honest +man's dress in the course of that night-walk they had had together. +He must have committed it to memory, and slowly got it by heart. +It was exactly reproduced in the dress he now wore. And whereas, +in his own schoolmaster clothes, he usually looked as if they were +the clothes of some other man, he now looked, in the clothes of +some other man or men, as if they were his own. + +'THIS your Lock?' said Bradley, whose surprise had a genuine air; +'they told me, where I last inquired, it was the third I should come +to. This is only the second.' + +'It's my belief, governor,' returned Riderhood, with a wink and +shake of his head, 'that you've dropped one in your counting. It +ain't Locks as YOU'VE been giving your mind to. No, no!' + +As he expressively jerked his pointing finger in the direction the +boat had taken, a flush of impatience mounted into Bradley's face, +and he looked anxiously up the river. + +'It ain't Locks as YOU'VE been a reckoning up,' said Riderhood, +when the schoolmaster's eyes came back again. 'No, no!' + +'What other calculations do you suppose I have been occupied +with? Mathematics?' + +'I never heerd it called that. It's a long word for it. Hows'ever, +p'raps you call it so,' said Riderhood, stubbornly chewing his grass. + +'It. What?' + +'I'll say them, instead of it, if you like,' was the coolly growled +reply. 'It's safer talk too.' + +'What do you mean that I should understand by them?' + +'Spites, affronts, offences giv' and took, deadly aggrawations, such +like,' answered Riderhood. + +Do what Bradley Headstone would, he could not keep that former +flush of impatience out of his face, or so master his eyes as to +prevent their again looking anxiously up the river. + +'Ha ha! Don't be afeerd, T'otherest,' said Riderhood. 'The T'other's +got to make way agin the stream, and he takes it easy. You can +soon come up with him. But wot's the good of saying that to you! +YOU know how fur you could have outwalked him betwixt +anywheres about where he lost the tide--say Richmond--and this, if +you had a mind to it.' + +'You think I have been following him?' said Bradley. + +'I KNOW you have,' said Riderhood. + +'Well! I have, I have,' Bradley admitted. 'But,' with another +anxious look up the river, 'he may land.' + +'Easy you! He won't be lost if he does land,' said Riderhood. 'He +must leave his boat behind him. He can't make a bundle or a +parcel on it, and carry it ashore with him under his arm.' + +'He was speaking to you just now,' said Bradley, kneeling on one +knee on the grass beside the Lock-keeper. 'What did he say?' + +'Cheek,' said Riderhood. + +'What?' + +'Cheek,' repeated Riderhood, with an angry oath; 'cheek is what he +said. He can't say nothing but cheek. I'd ha' liked to plump down +aboard of him, neck and crop, with a heavy jump, and sunk him.' + +Bradley turned away his haggard face for a few moments, and then +said, tearing up a tuft of grass: + +'Damn him!' + +'Hooroar!' cried Riderhood. 'Does you credit! Hooroar! I cry +chorus to the T'otherest.' + +'What turn,' said Bradley, with an effort at self-repression that +forced him to wipe his face, 'did his insolence take to-day?' + +'It took the turn,' answered Riderhood, with sullen ferocity, 'of +hoping as I was getting ready to be hanged.' + +'Let him look to that,' cried Bradley. 'Let him look to that! It will +be bad for him when men he has injured, and at whom he has +jeered, are thinking of getting hanged. Let HIM get ready for HIS +fate, when that comes about. There was more meaning in what he +said than he knew of, or he wouldn't have had brains enough to say +it. Let him look to it; let him look to it! When men he has +wronged, and on whom he has bestowed his insolence, are getting +ready to be hanged, there is a death-bell ringing. And not for +them.' + +Riderhood, looking fixedly at him, gradually arose from his +recumbent posture while the schoolmaster said these words with +the utmost concentration of rage and hatred. So, when the words +were all spoken, he too kneeled on one knee on the grass, and the +two men looked at one another. + +'Oh!' said Riderhood, very deliberately spitting out the grass he had +been chewing. 'Then, I make out, T'otherest, as he is a-going to +her?' + +'He left London,' answered Bradley, 'yesterday. I have hardly a +doubt, this time, that at last he is going to her.' + +'You ain't sure, then?' + +'I am as sure here,' said Bradley, with a clutch at the breast of his +coarse shirt, 'as if it was written there;' with a blow or a stab at the +sky. + +'Ah! But judging from the looks on you,' retorted Riderhood, +completely ridding himself of his grass, and drawing his sleeve +across his mouth, 'you've made ekally sure afore, and have got +disapinted. It has told upon you.' + +'Listen,' said Bradley, in a low voice, bending forward to lay his +hand upon the Lock-keeper's shoulder. 'These are my holidays.' + +'Are they, by George!' muttered Riderhood, with his eyes on the +passion-wasted face. 'Your working days must be stiff 'uns, if +these is your holidays.' + +'And I have never left him,' pursued Bradley, waving the +interruption aside with an impatient hand, 'since they began. And +I never will leave him now, till I have seen him with her.' + +'And when you have seen him with her?' said Riderhood. + +'--I'll come back to you.' + +Riderhood stiffened the knee on which he had been resting, got up, +and looked gloomily at his new friend. After a few moments they +walked side by side in the direction the boat had taken, as if by +tacit consent; Bradley pressing forward, and Riderhood holding +back; Bradley getting out his neat prim purse into his hand (a +present made him by penny subscription among his pupils); and +Riderhood, unfolding his arms to smear his coat-cuff across his +mouth with a thoughtful air. + +'I have a pound for you,' said Bradley. + +'You've two,' said Riderhood. + +Bradley held a sovereign between his fingers. Slouching at his +side with his eyes upon the towing-path, Riderhood held his left +hand open, with a certain slight drawing action towards himself. +Bradley dipped in his purse for another sovereign, and two chinked +in Riderhood's hand, the drawing action of which, promptly +strengthening, drew them home to his pocket. + +'Now, I must follow him,' said Bradley Headstone. 'He takes this +river-road--the fool!--to confuse observation, or divert attention, if +not solely to baffle me. But he must have the power of making +himself invisible before he can shake Me off.' + +Riderhood stopped. 'If you don't get disapinted agin, T'otherest, +maybe you'll put up at the Lock-house when you come back?' + +'I will.' + +Riderhood nodded, and the figure of the bargeman went its way +along the soft turf by the side of the towing-path, keeping near the +hedge and moving quickly. They had turned a point from which a +long stretch of river was visible. A stranger to the scene might +have been certain that here and there along the line of hedge a +figure stood, watching the bargeman, and waiting for him to come +up. So he himself had often believed at first, until his eyes became +used to the posts, bearing the dagger that slew Wat Tyler, in the +City of London shield. + +Within Mr Riderhood's knowledge all daggers were as one. Even +to Bradley Headstone, who could have told to the letter without +book all about Wat Tyler, Lord Mayor Walworth, and the King, +that it is dutiful for youth to know, there was but one subject living +in the world for every sharp destructive instrument that summer +evening. So, Riderhood looking after him as he went, and he with +his furtive hand laid upon the dagger as he passed it, and his eyes +upon the boat, were much upon a par. + +The boat went on, under the arching trees, and over their tranquil +shadows in the water. The bargeman skulking on the opposite +bank of the stream, went on after it. Sparkles of light showed +Riderhood when and where the rower dipped his blades, until, +even as he stood idly watching, the sun went down and the +landscape was dyed red. And then the red had the appearance of +fading out of it and mounting up to Heaven, as we say that blood, +guiltily shed, does. + +Turning back towards his Lock (he had not gone out of view of it), +the Rogue pondered as deeply as it was within the contracted +power of such a fellow to do. 'Why did he copy my clothes? He +could have looked like what he wanted to look like, without that.' +This was the subject-matter in his thoughts; in which, too, there +came lumbering up, by times, like any half floating and half +sinking rubbish in the river, the question, Was it done by accident? +The setting of a trap for finding out whether it was accidentally +done, soon superseded, as a practical piece of cunning, the +abstruser inquiry why otherwise it was done. And he devised a +means. + +Rogue Riderhood went into his Lock-house, and brought forth, into +the now sober grey light, his chest of clothes. Sitting on the grass +beside it, he turned out, one by one, the articles it contained, until +he came to a conspicuous bright red neckerchief stained black here +and there by wear. It arrested his attention, and he sat pausing +over it, until he took off the rusty colourless wisp that he wore +round his throat, and substituted the red neckerchief, leaving the +long ends flowing. 'Now,' said the Rogue, 'if arter he sees me in +this neckhankecher, I see him in a sim'lar neckhankecher, it won't +be accident!' Elated by his device, he carried his chest in again and +went to supper. + +'Lock ho! Lock!' It was a light night, and a barge coming down +summoned him out of a long doze. In due course he had let the +barge through and was alone again, looking to the closing of his +gates, when Bradley Headstone appeared before him, standing on +the brink of the Lock. + +'Halloa!' said Riderhood. 'Back a' ready, T'otherest?' + +'He has put up for the night, at an Angler's Inn,' was the fatigued +and hoarse reply. 'He goes on, up the river, at six in the morning. I +have come back for a couple of hours' rest.' + +'You want 'em,' said Riderhood, making towards the schoolmaster +by his plank bridge. + +'I don't want them,' returned Bradley, irritably, 'because I would +rather not have them, but would much prefer to follow him all +night. However, if he won't lead, I can't follow. I have been +waiting about, until I could discover, for a certainty, at what time +he starts; if I couldn't have made sure of it, I should have stayed +there.--This would be a bad pit for a man to be flung into with his +hands tied. These slippery smooth walls would give him no +chance. And I suppose those gates would suck him down?' + +'Suck him down, or swaller him up, he wouldn't get out,' said +Riderhood. 'Not even, if his hands warn't tied, he wouldn't. Shut +him in at both ends, and I'd give him a pint o' old ale ever to come +up to me standing here.' + +Bradley looked down with a ghastly relish. 'You run about the +brink, and run across it, in this uncertain light, on a few inches +width of rotten wood,' said he. 'I wonder you have no thought of +being drowned.' + +'I can't be!' said Riderhood. + +'You can't be drowned?' + +'No!' said Riderhood, shaking his head with an air of thorough +conviction, 'it's well known. I've been brought out o' drowning, +and I can't be drowned. I wouldn't have that there busted +B'lowbridger aware on it, or her people might make it tell agin' the +damages I mean to get. But it's well known to water-side +characters like myself, that him as has been brought out o +drowning, can never be drowned.' + +Bradley smiled sourly at the ignorance he would have corrected in +one of his pupils, and continued to look down into the water, as if +the place had a gloomy fascination for him. + +'You seem to like it,' said Riderhood. + +He took no notice, but stood looking down, as if he had not heard +the words. There was a very dark expression on his face; an +expression that the Rogue found it hard to understand. It was +fierce, and full of purpose; but the purpose might have been as +much against himself as against another. If he had stepped back +for a spring, taken a leap, and thrown himself in, it would have +been no surprising sequel to the look. Perhaps his troubled soul, +set upon some violence, did hover for the moment between that +violence and another. + +'Didn't you say,' asked Riderhood, after watching him for a while +with a sidelong glance, 'as you had come back for a couple o' +hours' rest?' But, even then he had to jog him with his elbow +before he answered. + +'Eh? Yes.' + +'Hadn't you better come in and take your couple o' hours' rest?' + +'Thank you. Yes.' + +With the look of one just awakened, he followed Riderhood into +the Lock-house, where the latter produced from a cupboard some +cold salt beef and half a loaf, some gin in a bottle, and some water +in a jug. The last he brought in, cool and dripping, from the river. + +'There, T'otherest,' said Riderhood, stooping over him to put it on +the table. 'You'd better take a bite and a sup, afore you takes your +snooze.' The draggling ends of the red neckerchief caught the +schoolmaster's eyes. Riderhood saw him look at it. + +'Oh!' thought that worthy. 'You're a-taking notice, are you? +Come! You shall have a good squint at it then.' With which +reflection he sat down on the other side of the table, threw open his +vest, and made a pretence of re-tying the neckerchief with much +deliberation. + +Bradley ate and drank. As he sat at his platter and mug, +Riderhood saw him, again and yet again, steal a look at the +neckerchief, as if he were correcting his slow observation and +prompting his sluggish memory. 'When you're ready for your +snooze,' said that honest creature, 'chuck yourself on my bed in +the corner, T'otherest. It'll be broad day afore three. I'll call you +early.' + +'I shall require no calling,' answered Bradley. And soon +afterwards, divesting himself only of his shoes and coat, laid +himself down. + +Riderhood, leaning back in his wooden arm-chair with his arms +folded on his breast, looked at him lying with his right hand +clenched in his sleep and his teeth set, until a film came over his +own sight, and he slept too. He awoke to find that it was daylight, +and that his visitor was already astir, and going out to the river- +side to cool his head:--'Though I'm blest,' muttered Riderhood at +the Lock-house door, looking after him, 'if I think there's water +enough in all the Thames to do THAT for you!' Within five +minutes he had taken his departure, and was passing on into the +calm distance as he had passed yesterday. Riderhood knew when +a fish leaped, by his starting and glancing round. + +'Lock ho! Lock!' at intervals all day, and 'Lock ho! Lock!' thrice in +the ensuing night, but no return of Bradley. The second day was +sultry and oppressive. In the afternoon, a thunderstorm came up, +and had but newly broken into a furious sweep of rain when he +rushed in at the door, like the storm itself. + +'You've seen him with her!' exclaimed Riderhood, starting up. + +'I have.' + +'Where?' + +'At his journey's end. His boat's hauled up for three days. I heard +him give the order. Then, I saw him wait for her and meet her. I +saw them'--he stopped as though he were suffocating, and began +again--'I saw them walking side by side, last night.' + +'What did you do?' + +'Nothing.' + +'What are you going to do?' + +He dropped into a chair, and laughed. Immediately afterwards, a +great spirt of blood burst from his nose. + +'How does that happen?' asked Riderhood. + +'I don't know. I can't keep it back. It has happened twice--three +times--four times--I don't know how many times--since last night. +I taste it, smell it, see it, it chokes me, and then it breaks out like +this.' + +He went into the pelting rain again with his head bare, and, +bending low over the river, and scooping up the water with his two +hands, washed the blood away. All beyond his figure, as +Riderhood looked from the door, was a vast dark curtain in solemn +movement towards one quarter of the heavens. He raised his head +and came back, wet from head to foot, but with the lower parts of +his sleeves, where he had dipped into the river, streaming water. + +'Your face is like a ghost's,' said Riderhood. + +'Did you ever see a ghost?' was the sullen retort. + +'I mean to say, you're quite wore out.' + +'That may well be. I have had no rest since I left here. I don't +remember that I have so much as sat down since I left here.' + +'Lie down now, then,' said Riderhood. + +'I will, if you'll give me something to quench my thirst first.' + +The bottle and jug were again produced, and he mixed a weak +draught, and another, and drank both in quick succession. 'You +asked me something,' he said then. + +'No, I didn't,' replied Riderhood. + +'I tell you,' retorted Bradley, turning upon him in a wild and +desperate manner, 'you asked me something, before I went out to +wash my face in the river. + +'Oh! Then?' said Riderhood, backing a little. 'I asked you wot you +wos a-going to do.' + +'How can a man in this state know?' he answered, protesting with +both his tremulous hands, with an action so vigorously angry that +he shook the water from his sleeves upon the floor, as if he had +wrung them. 'How can I plan anything, if I haven't sleep?' + +'Why, that's what I as good as said,' returned the other. 'Didn't I +say lie down?' + +'Well, perhaps you did.' + +'Well! Anyways I says it again. Sleep where you slept last; the +sounder and longer you can sleep, the better you'll know arterwards +what you're up to.' + +His pointing to the truckle bed in the corner, seemed gradually to +bring that poor couch to Bradley's wandering remembrance. He +slipped off his worn down-trodden shoes, and cast himself heavily, +all wet as he was, upon the bed. + +Riderhood sat down in his wooden arm-chair, and looked through +the window at the lightning, and listened to the thunder. But, his +thoughts were far from being absorbed by the thunder and the +lightning, for again and again and again he looked very curiously +at the exhausted man upon the bed. The man had turned up the +collar of the rough coat he wore, to shelter himself from the storm, +and had buttoned it about his neck. Unconscious of that, and of +most things, he had left the coat so, both when he had laved his +face in the river, and when he had cast himself upon the bed; +though it would have been much easier to him if he had +unloosened it. + +The thunder rolled heavily, and the forked lightning seemed to +make jagged rents in every part of the vast curtain without, as +Riderhood sat by the window, glancing at the bed. Sometimes, he +saw the man upon the bed, by a red light; sometimes, by a blue; +sometimes, he scarcely saw him in the darkness of the storm; +sometimes he saw nothing of him in the blinding glare of +palpitating white fire. Anon, the rain would come again with a +tremendous rush, and the river would seem to rise to meet it, and a +blast of wind, bursting upon the door, would flutter the hair and +dress of the man, as if invisible messengers were come around the +bed to carry him away. From all these phases of the storm, +Riderhood would turn, as if they were interruptions--rather striking +interruptions possibly, but interruptions still--of his scrutiny of the +sleeper. + +'He sleeps sound,' he said within himself; 'yet he's that up to me +and that noticing of me that my getting out of my chair may wake +him, when a rattling peal won't; let alone my touching of him.' + +He very cautiously rose to his feet. 'T'otherest,' he said, in a low, +calm voice, 'are you a lying easy? There's a chill in the air, +governor. Shall I put a coat over you?' + +No answer. + +'That's about what it is a'ready, you see,' muttered Riderhood in a +lower and a different voice; 'a coat over you, a coat over you!' + +The sleeper moving an arm, he sat down again in his chair, and +feigned to watch the storm from the window. It was a grand +spectacle, but not so grand as to keep his eyes, for half a minute +together, from stealing a look at the man upon the bed. + +It was at the concealed throat of the sleeper that Riderhood so often +looked so curiously, until the sleep seemed to deepen into the +stupor of the dead-tired in mind and body. Then, Riderhood came +from the window cautiously, and stood by the bed. + +'Poor man!' he murmured in a low tone, with a crafty face, and a +very watchful eye and ready foot, lest he should start up; 'this here +coat of his must make him uneasy in his sleep. Shall I loosen it for +him, and make him more comfortable? Ah! I think I ought to do +it, poor man. I think I will.' + +He touched the first button with a very cautious hand, and a step +backward. But, the sleeper remaining in profound +unconsciousness, he touched the other buttons with a more assured +hand, and perhaps the more lightly on that account. Softly and +slowly, he opened the coat and drew it back. + +The draggling ends of a bright-red neckerchief were then disclosed, +and he had even been at the pains of dipping parts of it in some +liquid, to give it the appearance of having become stained by wear. +With a much-perplexed face, Riderhood looked from it to the +sleeper, and from the sleeper to it, and finally crept back to his +chair, and there, with his hand to his chin, sat long in a brown +study, looking at both. + + + +Chapter 2 + +THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN RISES A LITTLE + + +Mr and Mrs Lammle had come to breakfast with Mr and Mrs +Boffin. They were not absolutely uninvited, but had pressed +themselves with so much urgency on the golden couple, that +evasion of the honour and pleasure of their company would have +been difficult, if desired. They were in a charming state of mind, +were Mr and Mrs Lammle, and almost as fond of Mr and Mrs +Boffin as of one another. + +'My dear Mrs Boffin,' said Mrs Lammle, 'it imparts new life to me, +to see my Alfred in confidential communication with Mr Boffin. +The two were formed to become intimate. So much simplicity +combined with so much force of character, such natural sagacity +united to such amiability and gentleness--these are the +distinguishing characteristics of both.' + +This being said aloud, gave Mr Lammle an opportunity, as he +came with Mr Boffin from the window to the breakfast table, of +taking up his dear and honoured wife. + +'My Sophronia,' said that gentleman, 'your too partial estimate of +your husband's character--' + +'No! Not too partial, Alfred,' urged the lady, tenderly moved; +'never say that.' + +'My child, your favourable opinion, then, of your husband--you +don't object to that phrase, darling?' + +'How can I, Alfred?' + +'Your favourable opinion then, my Precious, does less than justice +to Mr Boffin, and more than justice to me.' + +'To the first charge, Alfred, I plead guilty. But to the second, oh +no, no!' + +'Less than justice to Mr Boffin, Sophronia,' said Mr Lammle, +soaring into a tone of moral grandeur, 'because it represents Mr +Boffin as on my lower level; more than justice to me, Sophronia, +because it represents me as on Mr Boffin's higher level. Mr Boffin +bears and forbears far more than I could.' + +'Far more than you could for yourself, Alfred?' + +'My love, that is not the question.' + +'Not the question, Lawyer?' said Mrs Lammle, archly. + +'No, dear Sophronia. From my lower level, I regard Mr Boffin as +too generous, as possessed of too much clemency, as being too +good to persons who are unworthy of him and ungrateful to him. +To those noble qualities I can lay no claim. On the contrary, they +rouse my indignation when I see them in action.' + +'Alfred!' + +'They rouse my indignation, my dear, against the unworthy +persons, and give me a combative desire to stand between Mr +Boffin and all such persons. Why? Because, in my lower nature I +am more worldly and less delicate. Not being so magnanimous as +Mr Boffin, I feel his injuries more than he does himself, and feel +more capable of opposing his injurers.' + +It struck Mrs Lammle that it appeared rather difficult this morning +to bring Mr and Mrs Boffin into agreeable conversation. Here had +been several lures thrown out, and neither of them had uttered a +word. Here were she, Mrs Lammle, and her husband discoursing +at once affectingly and effectively, but discoursing alone. +Assuming that the dear old creatures were impressed by what they +heard, still one would like to be sure of it, the more so, as at least +one of the dear old creatures was somewhat pointedly referred to. +If the dear old creatures were too bashful or too dull to assume +their required places in the discussion, why then it would seem +desirable that the dear old creatures should be taken by their heads +and shoulders and brought into it. + +'But is not my husband saying in effect,' asked Mrs Lammle, +therefore, with an innocent air, of Mr and Mrs Boffin, 'that he +becomes unmindful of his own temporary misfortunes in his +admiration of another whom he is burning to serve? And is not +that making an admission that his nature is a generous one? I am +wretched in argument, but surely this is so, dear Mr and Mrs +Boffin?' + +Still, neither Mr and Mrs Boffin said a word. He sat with his eyes +on his plate, eating his muffins and ham, and she sat shyly looking +at the teapot. Mrs Lammle's innocent appeal was merely thrown +into the air, to mingle with the steam of the urn. Glancing towards +Mr and Mrs Boffin, she very slightly raised her eyebrows, as +though inquiring of her husband: 'Do I notice anything wrong +here?' + +Mr Lammle, who had found his chest effective on a variety of +occasions, manoeuvred his capacious shirt front into the largest +demonstration possible, and then smiling retorted on his wife, +thus: + +'Sophronia, darling, Mr and Mrs Boffin will remind you of the old +adage, that self-praise is no recommendation.' + +'Self-praise, Alfred? Do you mean because we are one and the +same?' + +'No, my dear child. I mean that you cannot fail to remember, if you +reflect for a single moment, that what you are pleased to +compliment me upon feeling in the case of Mr Boffin, you have +yourself confided to me as your own feeling in the case of Mrs +Boffin.' + +('I shall be beaten by this Lawyer,' Mrs Lammle gaily whispered to +Mrs Boffin. 'I am afraid I must admit it, if he presses me, for it's +damagingly true.') + +Several white dints began to come and go about Mr Lammle's +nose, as he observed that Mrs Boffin merely looked up from the +teapot for a moment with an embarrassed smile, which was no +smile, and then looked down again. + +'Do you admit the charge, Sophronia?' inquired Alfred, in a +rallying tone. + +'Really, I think,' said Mrs Lammle, still gaily, 'I must throw myself +on the protection of the Court. Am I bound to answer that +question, my Lord?' To Mr Boffin. + +'You needn't, if you don't like, ma'am,' was his answer. 'It's not of +the least consequence.' + +Both husband and wife glanced at him, very doubtfully. His +manner was grave, but not coarse, and derived some dignity from a +certain repressed dislike of the tone of the conversation. + +Again Mrs Lammle raised her eyebrows for instruction from her +husband. He replied in a slight nod, 'Try 'em again.' + +'To protect myself against the suspicion of covert self-laudation, +my dear Mrs Boffin,' said the airy Mrs Lammle therefore, 'I must +tell you how it was.' + +'No. Pray don't,' Mr Boffin interposed. + +Mrs Lammle turned to him laughingly. 'The Court objects?' + +'Ma'am,' said Mr Boffin, 'the Court (if I am the Court) does object. +The Court objects for two reasons. First, because the Court don't +think it fair. Secondly, because the dear old lady, Mrs Court (if I +am Mr) gets distressed by it.' + +A very remarkable wavering between two bearings--between her +propitiatory bearing there, and her defiant bearing at Mr +Twemlow's--was observable on the part of Mrs Lammle as she +said: + +'What does the Court not consider fair?' + +'Letting you go on,' replied Mr Boffin, nodding his head +soothingly, as who should say, We won't be harder on you than we +can help; we'll make the best of it. 'It's not above-board and it's not +fair. When the old lady is uncomfortable, there's sure to be good +reason for it. I see she is uncomfortable, and I plainly see this is +the good reason wherefore. HAVE you breakfasted, ma'am.' + +Mrs Lammle, settling into her defiant manner, pushed her plate +away, looked at her husband, and laughed; but by no means gaily. + +'Have YOU breakfasted, sir?' inquired Mr Boffin. + +'Thank you,' replied Alfred, showing all his teeth. 'If Mrs Boffin +will oblige me, I'll take another cup of tea.' + +He spilled a little of it over the chest which ought to have been so +effective, and which had done so little; but on the whole drank it +with something of an air, though the coming and going dints got +almost as large, the while, as if they had been made by pressure of +the teaspoon. 'A thousand thanks,' he then observed. 'I have +breakfasted.' + +'Now, which,' said Mr Boffin softly, taking out a pocket-book, +'which of you two is Cashier?' + +'Sophronia, my dear,' remarked her husband, as he leaned back in +his chair, waving his right hand towards her, while he hung his left +hand by the thumb in the arm-hole of his waistcoat: 'it shall be +your department.' + +'I would rather,' said Mr Boffin, 'that it was your husband's, +ma'am, because--but never mind, because. I would rather have to +do with him. However, what I have to say, I will say with as little +offence as possible; if I can say it without any, I shall be heartily +glad. You two have done me a service, a very great service, in +doing what you did (my old lady knows what it was), and I have +put into this envelope a bank note for a hundred pound. I consider +the service well worth a hundred pound, and I am well pleased to +pay the money. Would you do me the favour to take it, and +likewise to accept my thanks?' + +With a haughty action, and without looking towards him, Mrs +Lammle held out her left hand, and into it Mr Boffin put the little +packet. When she had conveyed it to her bosom, Mr Lammle had +the appearance of feeling relieved, and breathing more freely, as +not having been quite certain that the hundred pounds were his, +until the note had been safely transferred out of Mr Boffin's +keeping into his own Sophronia's. + +'It is not impossible,' said Mr Boffin, addressing Alfred, 'that you +have had some general idea, sir, of replacing Rokesmith, in course +of time?' + +'It is not,' assented Alfred, with a glittering smile and a great deal +of nose, 'not impossible.' + +'And perhaps, ma'am,' pursued Mr Boffin, addressing Sophronia, +'you have been so kind as to take up my old lady in your own mind, +and to do her the honour of turning the question over whether you +mightn't one of these days have her in charge, like? Whether you +mightn't be a sort of Miss Bella Wilfer to her, and something +more?' + +'I should hope,' returned Mrs Lammle, with a scornful look and in +a loud voice, 'that if I were anything to your wife, sir, I could +hardly fail to be something more than Miss Bella Wilfer, as you +call her.' + +'What do YOU call her, ma'am?' asked Mr Boffin. + +Mrs Lammle disdained to reply, and sat defiantly beating one foot +on the ground. + +'Again I think I may say, that's not impossible. Is it, sir?' asked Mr +Boffin, turning to Alfred. + +'It is not,' said Alfred, smiling assent as before, 'not impossible.' + +'Now,' said Mr Boffin, gently, 'it won't do. I don't wish to say a +single word that might be afterwards remembered as unpleasant; +but it won't do.' + +'Sophronia, my love,' her husband repeated in a bantering manner, +'you hear? It won't do.' + +'No,' said Mr Boffin, with his voice still dropped, 'it really won't. +You positively must excuse us. If you'll go your way, we'll go +ours, and so I hope this affair ends to the satisfaction of all parties.' + +Mrs Lammle gave him the look of a decidedly dissatisfied party +demanding exemption from the category; but said nothing. + +'The best thing we can make of the affair,' said Mr Boffin, 'is a +matter of business, and as a matter of business it's brought to a +conclusion. You have done me a great service, a very great +service, and I have paid for it. Is there any objection to the price?' + +Mr and Mrs Lammle looked at one another across the table, but +neither could say that there was. Mr Lammle shrugged his +shoulders, and Mrs Lammle sat rigid. + +'Very good,' said Mr Boffin. 'We hope (my old lady and me) that +you'll give us credit for taking the plainest and honestest short-cut +that could be taken under the circumstances. We have talked it +over with a deal of care (my old lady and me), and we have felt +that at all to lead you on, or even at all to let you go on of your own +selves, wouldn't be the right thing. So, I have openly given you to +understand that--' Mr Boffin sought for a new turn of speech, but +could find none so expressive as his former one, repeated in a +confidential tone, '--that it won't do. If I could have put the case +more pleasantly I would; but I hope I haven't put it very +unpleasantly; at all events I haven't meant to. So,' said Mr Boffin, +by way of peroration, 'wishing you well in the way you go, we now +conclude with the observation that perhaps you'll go it.' + +Mr Lammle rose with an impudent laugh on his side of the table, +and Mrs Lammle rose with a disdainful frown on hers. At this +moment a hasty foot was heard on the staircase, and Georgiana +Podsnap broke into the room, unannounced and in tears. + +'Oh, my dear Sophronia,' cried Georgiana, wringing her hands as +she ran up to embrace her, 'to think that you and Alfred should be +ruined! Oh, my poor dear Sophronia, to think that you should have +had a Sale at your house after all your kindness to me! Oh, Mr and +Mrs Boffin, pray forgive me for this intrusion, but you don't know +how fond I was of Sophronia when Pa wouldn't let me go there any +more, or what I have felt for Sophronia since I heard from Ma of +her having been brought low in the world. You don't, you can't, +you never can, think, how I have lain awake at night and cried for +my good Sophronia, my first and only friend!' + +Mrs Lammle's manner changed under the poor silly girl's +embraces, and she turned extremely pale: directing one appealing +look, first to Mrs Boffin, and then to Mr Boffin. Both understood +her instantly, with a more delicate subtlety than much better +educated people, whose perception came less directly from the +heart, could have brought to bear upon the case. + +'I haven't a minute,' said poor little Georgiana, 'to stay. I am out +shopping early with Ma, and I said I had a headache and got Ma to +leave me outside in the phaeton, in Piccadilly, and ran round to +Sackville Street, and heard that Sophronia was here, and then Ma +came to see, oh such a dreadful old stony woman from the country +in a turban in Portland Place, and I said I wouldn't go up with Ma +but would drive round and leave cards for the Boffins, which is +taking a liberty with the name; but oh my goodness I am +distracted, and the phaeton's at the door, and what would Pa say if +he knew it!' + +'Don't ye be timid, my dear,' said Mrs Boffin. 'You came in to see +us.' + +'Oh, no, I didn't,' cried Georgiana. 'It's very impolite, I know, but I +came to see my poor Sophronia, my only friend. Oh! how I felt the +separation, my dear Sophronia, before I knew you were brought +low in the world, and how much more I feel it now!' + +There were actually tears in the bold woman's eyes, as the soft- +headed and soft-hearted girl twined her arms about her neck. + +'But I've come on business,' said Georgiana, sobbing and drying +her face, and then searching in a little reticule, 'and if I don't +despatch it I shall have come for nothing, and oh good gracious! +what would Pa say if he knew of Sackville Street, and what would +Ma say if she was kept waiting on the doorsteps of that dreadful +turban, and there never were such pawing horses as ours unsettling +my mind every moment more and more when I want more mind +than I have got, by pawing up Mr Boffin's street where they have +no business to be. Oh! where is, where is it? Oh! I can't find it!' +All this time sobbing, and searching in the little reticule. + +'What do you miss, my dear?' asked Mr Boffin, stepping forward. + +'Oh! it's little enough,' replied Georgiana, 'because Ma always +treats me as if I was in the nursery (I am sure I wish I was!), but I +hardly ever spend it and it has mounted up to fifteen pounds, +Sophronia, and I hope three five-pound notes are better than +nothing, though so little, so little! And now I have found that--oh, +my goodness! there's the other gone next! Oh no, it isn't, here it is!' + +With that, always sobbing and searching in the reticule, Georgiana +produced a necklace. + +'Ma says chits and jewels have no business together,' pursued +Georgiana, 'and that's the reason why I have no trinkets except this, +but I suppose my aunt Hawkinson was of a different opinion, +because she left me this, though I used to think she might just as +well have buried it, for it's always kept in jewellers' cotton. +However, here it is, I am thankful to say, and of use at last, and +you'll sell it, dear Sophronia, and buy things with it.' + +'Give it to me,' said Mr Boffin, gently taking it. 'I'll see that it's +properly disposed of.' + +'Oh! are you such a friend of Sophronia's, Mr Boffin?' cried +Georgiana. 'Oh, how good of you! Oh, my gracious! there was +something else, and it's gone out of my head! Oh no, it isn't, I +remember what it was. My grandmamma's property, that'll come +to me when I am of age, Mr Boffin, will be all my own, and neither +Pa nor Ma nor anybody else will have any control over it, and what +I wish to do it so make some of it over somehow to Sophronia and +Alfred, by signing something somewhere that'll prevail on +somebody to advance them something. I want them to have +something handsome to bring them up in the world again. Oh, my +goodness me! Being such a friend of my dear Sophronia's, you +won't refuse me, will you?' + +'No, no,' said Mr Boffin, 'it shall be seen to.' + +'Oh, thank you, thank you!' cried Georgiana. 'If my maid had a +little note and half a crown, I could run round to the pastrycook's +to sign something, or I could sign something in the Square if +somebody would come and cough for me to let 'em in with the key, +and would bring a pen and ink with 'em and a bit of blotting-paper. +Oh, my gracious! I must tear myself away, or Pa and Ma will both +find out! Dear, dear Sophronia, good, good-bye!' + +The credulous little creature again embraced Mrs Lammle most +affectionately, and then held out her hand to Mr Lammle. + +'Good-bye, dear Mr Lammle--I mean Alfred. You won't think after +to-day that I have deserted you and Sophronia because you have +been brought low in the world, will you? Oh me! oh me! I have +been crying my eyes out of my head, and Ma will be sure to ask me +what's the matter. Oh, take me down, somebody, please, please, +please!' + +Mr Boffin took her down, and saw her driven away, with her poor +little red eyes and weak chin peering over the great apron of the +custard-coloured phaeton, as if she had been ordered to expiate +some childish misdemeanour by going to bed in the daylight, and +were peeping over the counterpane in a miserable flutter of +repentance and low spirits. Returning to the breakfast-room, he +found Mrs Lammle still standing on her side of the table, and Mr +Lammle on his. + +'I'll take care,' said Mr Boffin, showing the money and the +necklace, 'that these are soon given back.' + +Mrs Lammle had taken up her parasol from a side table, and stood +sketching with it on the pattern of the damask cloth, as she had +sketched on the pattern of Mr Twemlow's papered wall. + +'You will not undeceive her I hope, Mr Boffin?' she said, turning +her head towards him, but not her eyes. + +'No,' said Mr Boffin. + +'I mean, as to the worth and value of her friend,' Mrs Lammle +explained, in a measured voice, and with an emphasis on her last +word. + +'No,' he returned. 'I may try to give a hint at her home that she is in +want of kind and careful protection, but I shall say no more than +that to her parents, and I shall say nothing to the young lady +herself.' + +'Mr and Mrs Boffin,' said Mrs Lammle, still sketching, and +seeming to bestow great pains upon it, 'there are not many people, +I think, who, under the circumstances, would have been so +considerate and sparing as you have been to me just now. Do you +care to be thanked?' + +'Thanks are always worth having,' said Mrs Boffin, in her ready +good nature. + +'Then thank you both.' + +'Sophronia,' asked her husband, mockingly, 'are you sentimental?' + +'Well, well, my good sir,' Mr Boffin interposed, 'it's a very good +thing to think well of another person, and it's a very good thing to +be thought well of BY another person. Mrs Lammle will be none +the worse for it, if she is.' + +'Much obliged. But I asked Mrs Lammle if she was.' + +She stood sketching on the table-cloth, with her face clouded and +set, and was silent. + +'Because,' said Alfred, 'I am disposed to be sentimental myself, +on your appropriation of the jewels and the money, Mr Boffin. As +our little Georgiana said, three five-pound notes are better than +nothing, and if you sell a necklace you can buy things with the +produce.' + +'IF you sell it,' was Mr Boffin's comment, as he put it in his pocket. + +Alfred followed it with his looks, and also greedily pursued the +notes until they vanished into Mr Boffin's waistcoat pocket. Then +he directed a look, half exasperated and half jeering, at his wife. +She still stood sketching; but, as she sketched, there was a struggle +within her, which found expression in the depth of the few last +lines the parasol point indented into the table-cloth, and then some +tears fell from her eyes. + +'Why, confound the woman,' exclaimed Lammle, 'she IS +sentimental! + +She walked to the window, flinching under his angry stare, looked +out for a moment, and turned round quite coldly. + +'You have had no former cause of complaint on the sentimental +score, Alfred, and you will have none in future. It is not worth +your noticing. We go abroad soon, with the money we have earned +here?' + +'You know we do; you know we must.' + +'There is no fear of my taking any sentiment with me. I should +soon be eased of it, if I did. But it will be all left behind. It IS all +left behind. Are you ready, Alfred?' + +'What the deuce have I been waiting for but you, Sophronia?' + +'Let us go then. I am sorry I have delayed our dignified departure.' + +She passed out and he followed her. Mr and Mrs Boffin had the +curiosity softly to raise a window and look after them as they went +down the long street. They walked arm-in-arm, showily enough, +but without appearing to interchange a syllable. It might have +been fanciful to suppose that under their outer bearing there was +something of the shamed air of two cheats who were linked +together by concealed handcuffs; but, not so, to suppose that they +were haggardly weary of one another, of themselves, and of all this +world. In turning the street corner they might have turned out of +this world, for anything Mr and Mrs Boffin ever saw of them to the +contrary; for, they set eyes on the Lammles never more. + + + +Chapter 3 + +THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN SINKS AGAIN + + +The evening of that day being one of the reading evenings at the +Bower, Mr Boffin kissed Mrs Boffin after a five o'clock dinner, +and trotted out, nursing his big stick in both arms, so that, as of +old, it seemed to be whispering in his ear. He carried so very +attentive an expression on his countenance that it appeared as if the +confidential discourse of the big stick required to be followed +closely. Mr Boffin's face was like the face of a thoughtful listener +to an intricate communication, and, in trotting along, he +occasionally glanced at that companion with the look of a man +who was interposing the remark: 'You don't mean it!' + +Mr Boffin and his stick went on alone together, until they arrived +at certain cross-ways where they would be likely to fall in with any +one coming, at about the same time, from Clerkenwell to the +Bower. Here they stopped, and Mr Boffin consulted his watch. + +'It wants five minutes, good, to Venus's appointment,' said he. 'I'm +rather early.' + +But Venus was a punctual man, and, even as Mr Boffin replaced +his watch in its pocket, was to be descried coming towards him. +He quickened his pace on seeing Mr Boffin already at the place of +meeting, and was soon at his side. + +'Thank'ee, Venus,' said Mr Boffin. 'Thank'ee, thank'ee, thank'ee!' + +It would not have been very evident why he thanked the anatomist, +but for his furnishing the explanation in what he went on to say. + +'All right, Venus, all right. Now, that you've been to see me, and +have consented to keep up the appearance before Wegg of +remaining in it for a time, I have got a sort of a backer. All right, +Venus. Thank'ee, Venus. Thank'ee, thank'ee, thank'ee!' + +Mr Venus shook the proffered hand with a modest air, and they +pursued the direction of the Bower. + +'Do you think Wegg is likely to drop down upon me to-night, +Venus?' inquired Mr Boffin, wistfully, as they went along. + +'I think he is, sir.' + +'Have you any particular reason for thinking so, Venus?' + +'Well, sir,' returned that personage, 'the fact is, he has given me +another look-in, to make sure of what he calls our stock-in-trade +being correct, and he has mentioned his intention that he was not +to be put off beginning with you the very next time you should +come. And this,' hinted Mr Venus, delicately, 'being the very next +time, you know, sir--' + +--'Why, therefore you suppose he'll turn to at the grindstone, eh, +Wegg?' said Mr Boffin. + +'Just so, sir.' + +Mr Boffin took his nose in his hand, as if it were already +excoriated, and the sparks were beginning to fly out of that feature. +'He's a terrible fellow, Venus; he's an awful fellow. I don't know +how ever I shall go through with it. You must stand by me, Venus +like a good man and true. You'll do all you can to stand by me, +Venus; won't you?' + +Mr Venus replied with the assurance that he would; and Mr +Boffin, looking anxious and dispirited, pursued the way in silence +until they rang at the Bower gate. The stumping approach of +Wegg was soon heard behind it, and as it turned upon its hinges he +became visible with his hand on the lock. + +'Mr Boffin, sir?' he remarked. 'You're quite a stranger!' + +'Yes. I've been otherwise occupied, Wegg.' + +'Have you indeed, sir?' returned the literary gentleman, with a +threatening sneer. 'Hah! I've been looking for you, sir, rather what +I may call specially.' + +'You don't say so, Wegg?' + +'Yes, I do say so, sir. And if you hadn't come round to me tonight, +dash my wig if I wouldn't have come round to you tomorrow. +Now! I tell you!' + +'Nothing wrong, I hope, Wegg?' + +'Oh no, Mr Boffin,' was the ironical answer. 'Nothing wrong! +What should be wrong in Boffinses Bower! Step in, sir.' + + '"If you'll come to the Bower I've shaded for you, + Your bed shan't be roses all spangled with doo: + Will you, will you, will you, will you, come to the Bower? + Oh, won't you, won't you, won't you, won't you, come to the Bower?"' + +An unholy glare of contradiction and offence shone in the eyes of +Mr Wegg, as he turned the key on his patron, after ushering him +into the yard with this vocal quotation. Mr Boffin's air was +crestfallen and submissive. Whispered Wegg to Venus, as they +crossed the yard behind him: 'Look at the worm and minion; he's +down in the mouth already.' Whispered Venus to Wegg: 'That's +because I've told him. I've prepared the way for you.' + +Mr Boffin, entering the usual chamber, laid his stick upon the +settle usually reserved for him, thrust his hands into his pockets, +and, with his shoulders raised and his hat drooping back upon +them, looking disconsolately at Wegg. 'My friend and partner, Mr +Venus, gives me to understand,' remarked that man of might, +addressing him, 'that you are aware of our power over you. Now, +when you have took your hat off, we'll go into that pint.' + +Mr Boffin shook it off with one shake, so that it dropped on the +floor behind him, and remained in his former attitude with his +former rueful look upon him. + +'First of all, I'm a-going to call you Boffin, for short,' said Wegg. +'If you don't like it, it's open to you to lump it.' + +'I don't mind it, Wegg,' Mr Boffin replied. + +'That's lucky for you, Boffin. Now, do you want to be read to?' + +'I don't particularly care about it to-night, Wegg.' + +'Because if you did want to,' pursued Mr Wegg, the brilliancy of +whose point was dimmed by his having been unexpectedly +answered: 'you wouldn't be. I've been your slave long enough. I'm +not to be trampled under-foot by a dustman any more. With the +single exception of the salary, I renounce the whole and total +sitiwation.' + +'Since you say it is to be so, Wegg,' returned Mr Boffin, with +folded hands, 'I suppose it must be.' + +'I suppose it must be,' Wegg retorted. 'Next (to clear the ground +before coming to business), you've placed in this yard a skulking, a +sneaking, and a sniffing, menial.' + +'He hadn't a cold in his head when I sent him here,' said Mr Boffin. + +'Boffin!' retorted Wegg, 'I warn you not to attempt a joke with me!' + +Here Mr Venus interposed, and remarked that he conceived Mr +Boffin to have taken the description literally; the rather, forasmuch +as he, Mr Venus, had himself supposed the menial to have +contracted an affliction or a habit of the nose, involving a serious +drawback on the pleasures of social intercourse, until he had +discovered that Mr Wegg's description of him was to be accepted +as merely figurative. + +'Anyhow, and every how,' said Wegg, 'he has been planted here, +and he is here. Now, I won't have him here. So I call upon Boffin, +before I say another word, to fetch him in and send him packing to +the right-about.' + +The unsuspecting Sloppy was at that moment airing his many +buttons within view of the window. Mr Boffin, after a short +interval of impassive discomfiture, opened the window and +beckoned him to come in. + +'I call upon Boffin,' said Wegg, with one arm a-kimbo and his +head on one side, like a bullying counsel pausing for an answer +from a witness, 'to inform that menial that I am Master here!' + +In humble obedience, when the button-gleaming Sloppy entered +Mr Boffin said to him: 'Sloppy, my fine fellow, Mr Wegg is Master +here. He doesn't want you, and you are to go from here.' + +'For good!' Mr Wegg severely stipulated. + +'For good,' said Mr Boffin. + +Sloppy stared, with both his eyes and all his buttons, and his +mouth wide open; but was without loss of time escorted forth by +Silas Wegg, pushed out at the yard gate by the shoulders, and +locked out. + +'The atomspear,' said Wegg, stumping back into the room again, a +little reddened by his late exertion, 'is now freer for the purposes of +respiration. Mr Venus, sir, take a chair. Boffin, you may sit +down.' + +Mr Boffin, still with his hands ruefully stuck in his pockets, sat on +the edge of the settle, shrunk into a small compass, and eyed the +potent Silas with conciliatory looks. + +'This gentleman,' said Silas Wegg, pointing out Venus, 'this +gentleman, Boffin, is more milk and watery with you than I'll be. +But he hasn't borne the Roman yoke as I have, nor yet he hasn't +been required to pander to your depraved appetite for miserly +characters.' + +'I never meant, my dear Wegg--' Mr Boffin was beginning, when +Silas stopped him. + +'Hold your tongue, Boffin! Answer when you're called upon to +answer. You'll find you've got quite enough to do. Now, you're +aware--are you--that you're in possession of property to which +you've no right at all? Are you aware of that?' + +'Venus tells me so,' said Mr Boffin, glancing towards him for any +support he could give. + +'I tell you so,' returned Silas. 'Now, here's my hat, Boffin, and +here's my walking-stick. Trifle with me, and instead of making a +bargain with you, I'll put on my hat and take up my walking-stick, +and go out, and make a bargain with the rightful owner. Now, +what do you say?' + +'I say,' returned Mr Boffin, leaning forward in alarmed appeal, +with his hands on his knees, 'that I am sure I don't want to trifle. +Wegg. I have said so to Venus.' + +'You certainly have, sir,' said Venus. + +'You're too milk and watery with our friend, you are indeed,' +remonstrated Silas, with a disapproving shake of his wooden head. +Then at once you confess yourself desirous to come to terms, do +you Boffin? Before you answer, keep this hat well in your mind +and also this walking-stick.' + +'I am willing, Wegg, to come to terms.' + +'Willing won't do, Boffin. I won't take willing. Are you desirous +to come to terms? Do you ask to be allowed as a favour to come to +terms?' Mr Wegg again planted his arm, and put his head on one +side. + +'Yes.' + +'Yes what?' said the inexorable Wegg: 'I won't take yes. I'll have it +out of you in full, Boffin.' + +'Dear me!' cried that unfortunate gentleman. 'I am so worrited! I +ask to be allowed to come to terms, supposing your document is all +correct.' + +'Don't you be afraid of that,' said Silas, poking his head at him. +'You shall be satisfied by seeing it. Mr Venus will show it you, +and I'll hold you the while. Then you want to know what the terms +are. Is that about the sum and substance of it? Will you or won't +you answer, Boffin?' For he had paused a moment. + +'Dear me!' cried that unfortunate gentleman again, 'I am worrited +to that degree that I'm almost off my head. You hurry me so. Be +so good as name the terms, Wegg.' + +'Now, mark, Boffin,' returned Silas: 'Mark 'em well, because +they're the lowest terms and the only terms. You'll throw your +Mound (the little Mound as comes to you any way) into the general +estate, and then you'll divide the whole property into three parts, +and you'll keep one and hand over the others.' + +Mr Venus's mouth screwed itself up, as Mr Boffin's face +lengthened itself, Mr Venus not having been prepared for such a +rapacious demand. + +'Now, wait a bit, Boffin,' Wegg proceeded, 'there's something +more. You've been a squandering this property--laying some of it +out on yourself. THAT won't do. You've bought a house. You'll +be charged for it.' + +'I shall be ruined, Wegg!' Mr Boffin faintly protested. + +'Now, wait a bit, Boffin; there's something more. You'll leave me +in sole custody of these Mounds till they're all laid low. If any +waluables should be found in 'em, I'll take care of such waluables. +You'll produce your contract for the sale of the Mounds, that we +may know to a penny what they're worth, and you'll make out +likewise an exact list of all the other property. When the Mounds +is cleared away to the last shovel-full, the final diwision will come +off.' + +'Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful! I shall die in a workhouse!' cried the +Golden Dustman, with his hands to his head. + +'Now, wait a bit, Boffin; there's something more. You've been +unlawfully ferreting about this yard. You've been seen in the act of +ferreting about this yard. Two pair of eyes at the present moment +brought to bear upon you, have seen you dig up a Dutch bottle.' + +'It was mine, Wegg,' protested Mr Boffin. 'I put it there myself.' + +'What was in it, Boffin?' inquired Silas. + +'Not gold, not silver, not bank notes, not jewels, nothing that you +could turn into money, Wegg; upon my soul!' + +'Prepared, Mr Venus,' said Wegg, turning to his partner with a +knowing and superior air, 'for an ewasive answer on the part of our +dusty friend here, I have hit out a little idea which I think will meet +your views. We charge that bottle against our dusty friend at a +thousand pound.' + +Mr Boffin drew a deep groan. + +'Now, wait a bit, Boffin; there's something more. In your +employment is an under-handed sneak, named Rokesmith. It +won't answer to have HIM about, while this business of ours is +about. He must be discharged.' + +'Rokesmith is already discharged,' said Mr Boffin, speaking in a +muffled voice, with his hands before his face, as he rocked himself +on the settle. + +'Already discharged, is he?' returned Wegg, surprised. 'Oh! Then, +Boffin, I believe there's nothing more at present.' + +The unlucky gentleman continuing to rock himself to and fro, and +to utter an occasional moan, Mr Venus besought him to bear up +against his reverses, and to take time to accustom himself to the +thought of his new position. But, his taking time was exactly the +thing of all others that Silas Wegg could not be induced to hear of. +'Yes or no, and no half measures!' was the motto which that +obdurate person many times repeated; shaking his fist at Mr +Boffin, and pegging his motto into the floor with his wooden leg, +in a threatening and alarming manner. + +At length, Mr Boffin entreated to be allowed a quarter of an hour's +grace, and a cooling walk of that duration in the yard. With some +difficulty Mr Wegg granted this great favour, but only on condition +that he accompanied Mr Boffin in his walk, as not knowing what +he might fraudulently unearth if he were left to himself. A more +absurd sight than Mr Boffin in his mental irritation trotting very +nimbly, and Mr Wegg hopping after him with great exertion, eager +to watch the slightest turn of an eyelash, lest it should indicate a +spot rich with some secret, assuredly had never been seen in the +shadow of the Mounds. Mr Wegg was much distressed when the +quarter of an hour expired, and came hopping in, a very bad +second. + +'I can't help myself!' cried Mr Boffin, flouncing on the settle in a +forlorn manner, with his hands deep in his pockets, as if his +pockets had sunk. 'What's the good of my pretending to stand out, +when I can't help myself? I must give in to the terms. But I should +like to see the document.' + +Wegg, who was all for clinching the nail he had so strongly driven +home, announced that Boffin should see it without an hour's delay. +Taking him into custody for that purpose, or overshadowing him as +if he really were his Evil Genius in visible form, Mr Wegg clapped +Mr Boffin's hat upon the back of his head, and walked him out by +the arm, asserting a proprietorship over his soul and body that was +at once more grim and more ridiculous than anything in Mr +Venus's rare collection. That light-haired gentleman followed +close upon their heels, at least backing up Mr Boffin in a literal +sense, if he had not had recent opportunities of doing so spiritually; +while Mr Boffin, trotting on as hard as he could trot, involved Silas +Wegg in frequent collisions with the public, much as a pre- +occupied blind man's dog may be seen to involve his master. + +Thus they reached Mr Venus's establishment, somewhat heated by +the nature of their progress thither. Mr Wegg, especially, was in a +flaming glow, and stood in the little shop, panting and mopping +his head with his pocket-handkerchief, speechless for several +minutes. + +Meanwhile, Mr Venus, who had left the duelling frogs to fight it +out in his absence by candlelight for the public delectation, put the +shutters up. When all was snug, and the shop-door fastened, he +said to the perspiring Silas: 'I suppose, Mr Wegg, we may now +produce the paper?' + +'Hold on a minute, sir,' replied that discreet character; 'hold on a +minute. Will you obligingly shove that box--which you mentioned +on a former occasion as containing miscellanies--towards me in the +midst of the shop here?' + +Mr Venus did as he was asked. + +'Very good,' said Silas, looking about: 've--ry good. Will you +hand me that chair, sir, to put a-top of it?' + +Venus handed him the chair. + +'Now, Boffin,' said Wegg, 'mount up here and take your seat, will +you?' + +Mr Boffin, as if he were about to have his portrait painted, or to be +electrified, or to be made a Freemason, or to be placed at any other +solitary disadvantage, ascended the rostrum prepared for him. + +'Now, Mr Venus,' said Silas, taking off his coat, 'when I catches +our friend here round the arms and body, and pins him tight to the +back of the chair, you may show him what he wants to see. If +you'll open it and hold it well up in one hand, sir, and a candle in +the other, he can read it charming.' + +Mr Boffin seemed rather inclined to object to these precautionary +arrangements, but, being immediately embraced by Wegg, +resigned himself. Venus then produced the document, and Mr +Boffin slowly spelt it out aloud: so very slowly, that Wegg, who +was holding him in the chair with the grip of a wrestler, became +again exceedingly the worse for his exertions. 'Say when you've +put it safe back, Mr Venus,' he uttered with difficulty, 'for the +strain of this is terrimenjious.' + +At length the document was restored to its place; and Wegg, +whose uncomfortable attitude had been that of a very persevering +man unsuccessfully attempting to stand upon his head, took a seat +to recover himself. Mr Boffin, for his part, made no attempt to +come down, but remained aloft disconsolate. + +'Well, Boffin!' said Wegg, as soon as he was in a condidon to +speak. 'Now, you know.' + +'Yes, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, meekly. 'Now, I know.' + +'You have no doubts about it, Boffin.' + +'No, Wegg. No, Wegg. None,' was the slow and sad reply. + +'Then, take care, you,' said Wegg, 'that you stick to your conditions. +Mr Venus, if on this auspicious occasion, you should happen to +have a drop of anything not quite so mild as tea in the 'ouse, I think +I'd take the friendly liberty of asking you for a specimen of it.' + +Mr Venus, reminded of the duties of hospitality, produced some +rum. In answer to the inquiry, 'Will you mix it, Mr Wegg?' that +gentleman pleasantly rejoined, 'I think not, sir. On so auspicious +an occasion, I prefer to take it in the form of a Gum-Tickler.' + +Mr Boffin, declining rum, being still elevated on his pedestal, was +in a convenient position to be addressed. Wegg having eyed him +with an impudent air at leisure, addressed him, therefore, while +refreshing himself with his dram. + +'Bof--fin!' + +'Yes, Wegg,' he answered, coming out of a fit of abstraction, with a +sigh. + +'I haven't mentioned one thing, because it's a detail that comes of +course. You must be followed up, you know. You must be kept +under inspection.' + +'I don't quite understand,' said Mr Boffin. + +'Don't you?' sneered Wegg. 'Where's your wits, Boffin? Till the +Mounds is down and this business completed, you're accountable +for all the property, recollect. Consider yourself accountable to me. +Mr Venus here being too milk and watery with you, I am the boy +for you.' + +'I've been a-thinking,' said Mr Boffin, in a tone of despondency, +'that I must keep the knowledge from my old lady.' + +'The knowledge of the diwision, d'ye mean?' inquired Wegg, +helping himself to a third Gum-Tickler--for he had already taken a +second. + +'Yes. If she was to die first of us two she might then think all her +life, poor thing, that I had got the rest of the fortune still, and was +saving it.' + +'I suspect, Boffin,' returned Wegg, shaking his head sagaciously, +and bestowing a wooden wink upon him, 'that you've found out +some account of some old chap, supposed to be a Miser, who got +himself the credit of having much more money than he had. +However, I don't mind.' + +'Don't you see, Wegg?' Mr Boffin feelingly represented to him: +'don't you see? My old lady has got so used to the property. It +would be such a hard surprise.' + +'I don't see it at all,' blustered Wegg. 'You'll have as much as I +shall. And who are you?' + +'But then, again,' Mr Boffin gently represented; 'my old lady has +very upright principles.' + +'Who's your old lady,' returned Wegg, 'to set herself up for having +uprighter principles than mine?' + +Mr Boffin seemed a little less patient at this point than at any other +of the negotiations. But he commanded himself, and said tamely +enough: 'I think it must be kept from my old lady, Wegg.' + +'Well,' said Wegg, contemptuously, though, perhaps, perceiving +some hint of danger otherwise, 'keep it from your old lady. I ain't +going to tell her. I can have you under close inspection without +that. I'm as good a man as you, and better. Ask me to dinner. +Give me the run of your 'ouse. I was good enough for you and your +old lady once, when I helped you out with your weal and hammers. +Was there no Miss Elizabeth, Master George, Aunt Jane, and +Uncle Parker, before YOU two?' + +'Gently, Mr Wegg, gently,' Venus urged. + +'Milk and water-erily you mean, sir,' he returned, with some little +thickness of speech, in consequence of the Gum-Ticklers having +tickled it. 'I've got him under inspection, and I'll inspect him. + + "Along the line the signal ran + England expects as this present man + Will keep Boffin to his duty." + +--Boffin, I'll see you home.' + +Mr Boffin descended with an air of resignation, and gave himself +up, after taking friendly leave of Mr Venus. Once more, Inspector +and Inspected went through the streets together, and so arrived at +Mr Boffin's door. + +But even there, when Mr Boffin had given his keeper good-night, +and had let himself in with his key, and had softly closed the door, +even there and then, the all-powerful Silas must needs claim +another assertion of his newly-asserted power. + +'Bof--fin!' he called through the keyhole. + +'Yes, Wegg,' was the reply through the same channel. + +'Come out. Show yourself again. Let's have another look at you!' +Mr Boffin--ah, how fallen from the high estate of his honest +simplicity!--opened the door and obeyed. + +'Go in. You may get to bed now,' said Wegg, with a grin. + +The door was hardly closed, when he again called through the +keyhole: 'Bof--fin!' + +'Yes, Wegg.' + +This time Silas made no reply, but laboured with a will at turning +an imaginary grindstone outside the keyhole, while Mr Boffin +stooped at it within; he then laughed silently, and stumped home. + + + +Chapter 4 + +A RUNAWAY MATCH + + +Cherubic Pa arose with as little noise as possible from beside +majestic Ma, one morning early, having a holiday before him. Pa +and the lovely woman had a rather particular appointment to keep. + +Yet Pa and the lovely woman were not going out together. Bella +was up before four, but had no bonnet on. She was waiting at the +foot of the stairs--was sitting on the bottom stair, in fact--to receive +Pa when he came down, but her only object seemed to be to get Pa +well out of the house. + +'Your breakfast is ready, sir,' whispered Bella, after greeting him +with a hug, 'and all you have to do, is, to eat it up and drink it up, +and escape. How do you feel, Pa?' + +'To the best of my judgement, like a housebreaker new to the +business, my dear, who can't make himself quite comfortable till +he is off the premises.' + +Bella tucked her arm in his with a merry noiseless laugh, and they +went down to the kitchen on tiptoe; she stopping on every separate +stair to put the tip of her forefinger on her rosy lips, and then lay it +on his lips, according to her favourite petting way of kissing Pa. + +'How do YOU feel, my love?' asked R. W., as she gave him his +breakfast. + +'I feel as if the Fortune-teller was coming true, dear Pa, and the fair +little man was turning out as was predicted.' + +'Ho! Only the fair little man?' said her father. + +Bella put another of those finger-seals upon his lips, and then said, +kneeling down by him as he sat at table: 'Now, look here, sir. If +you keep well up to the mark this day, what do you think you +deserve? What did I promise you should have, if you were good, +upon a certain occasion?' + +'Upon my word I don't remember, Precious. Yes, I do, though. +Wasn't it one of these beau--tiful tresses?' with his caressing hand +upon her hair. + +'Wasn't it, too!' returned Bella, pretending to pout. 'Upon my word! +Do you know, sir, that the Fortune-teller would give five thousand +guineas (if it was quite convenient to him, which it isn't) for the +lovely piece I have cut off for you? You can form no idea, sir, of +the number of times he kissed quite a scrubby little piece--in +comparison--that I cut off for HIM. And he wears it, too, round his +neck, I can tell you! Near his heart!' said Bella, nodding. 'Ah! very +near his heart! However, you have been a good, good boy, and you +are the best of all the dearest boys that ever were, this morning, +and here's the chain I have made of it, Pa, and you must let me put +it round your neck with my own loving hands.' + +As Pa bent his head, she cried over him a little, and then said (after +having stopped to dry her eyes on his white waistcoat, the +discovery of which incongruous circumstance made her laugh): +'Now, darling Pa, give me your hands that I may fold them +together, and do you say after me:--My little Bella.' + +'My little Bella,' repeated Pa. + +'I am very fond of you.' + +'I am very fond of you, my darling,' said Pa. + +'You mustn't say anything not dictated to you, sir. You daren't do +it in your responses at Church, and you mustn't do it in your +responses out of Church.' + +'I withdraw the darling,' said Pa. + +'That's a pious boy! Now again:--You were always--' + +'You were always,' repeated Pa. + +'A vexatious--' + +'No you weren't,' said Pa. + +'A vexatious (do you hear, sir?), a vexatious, capricious, thankless, +troublesome, Animal; but I hope you'll do better in the time to +come, and I bless you and forgive you!' Here, she quite forgot that +it was Pa's turn to make the responses, and clung to his neck. +'Dear Pa, if you knew how much I think this morning of what you +told me once, about the first time of our seeing old Mr Harmon, +when I stamped and screamed and beat you with my detestable +little bonnet! I feel as if I had been stamping and screaming and +beating you with my hateful little bonnet, ever since I was born, +darling!' + +'Nonsense, my love. And as to your bonnets, they have always +been nice bonnets, for they have always become you--or you have +become them; perhaps it was that--at every age.' + +'Did I hurt you much, poor little Pa?' asked Bella, laughing +(notwithstanding her repentance), with fantastic pleasure in the +picture, 'when I beat you with my bonnet?' + +'No, my child. Wouldn't have hurt a fly!' + +'Ay, but I am afraid I shouldn't have beat you at all, unless I had +meant to hurt you,' said Bella. 'Did I pinch your legs, Pa?' + +'Not much, my dear; but I think it's almost time I--' + +'Oh, yes!' cried Bella. 'If I go on chattering, you'll be taken alive. +Fly, Pa, fly!' + +So, they went softly up the kitchen stairs on tiptoe, and Bella with +her light hand softly removed the fastenings of the house door, and +Pa, having received a parting hug, made off. When he had gone a +little way, he looked back. Upon which, Bella set another of those +finger seals upon the air, and thrust out her little foot expressive of +the mark. Pa, in appropriate action, expressed fidelity to the mark, +and made off as fast as he could go. + +Bella walked thoughtfully in the garden for an hour and more, and +then, returning to the bedroom where Lavvy the Irrepressible still +slumbered, put on a little bonnet of quiet, but on the whole of sly +appearance, which she had yesterday made. 'I am going for a +walk, Lavvy,' she said, as she stooped down and kissed her. The +Irrepressible, with a bounce in the bed, and a remark that it wasn't +time to get up yet, relapsed into unconsciousness, if she had come +out of it. + +Behold Bella tripping along the streets, the dearest girl afoot under +the summer sun! Behold Pa waiting for Bella behind a pump, at +least three miles from the parental roof-tree. Behold Bella and Pa +aboard an early steamboat for Greenwich. + +Were they expected at Greenwich? Probably. At least, Mr John +Rokesmith was on the pier looking out, about a couple of hours +before the coaly (but to him gold-dusty) little steamboat got her +steam up in London. Probably. At least, Mr John Rokesmith +seemed perfectly satisfied when he descried them on board. +Probably. At least, Bella no sooner stepped ashore than she took +Mr John Rokesmith's arm, without evincing surprise, and the two +walked away together with an ethereal air of happiness which, as it +were, wafted up from the earth and drew after them a gruff and +glum old pensioner to see it out. Two wooden legs had this gruff +and glum old pensioner, and, a minute before Bella stepped out of +the boat, and drew that confiding little arm of hers through +Rokesmith's, he had had no object in life but tobacco, and not +enough of that. Stranded was Gruff and Glum in a harbour of +everlasting mud, when all in an instant Bella floated him, and +away he went. + +Say, cherubic parent taking the lead, in what direction do we steer +first? With some such inquiry in his thoughts, Gruff and Glum, +stricken by so sudden an interest that he perked his neck and +looked over the intervening people, as if he were trying to stand on +tiptoe with his two wooden legs, took an observation of R. W. +There was no 'first' in the case, Gruff and Glum made out; the +cherubic parent was bearing down and crowding on direct for +Greenwich church, to see his relations. + +For, Gruff and Glum, though most events acted on him simply as +tobacco-stoppers, pressing down and condensing the quids within +him, might be imagined to trace a family resemblance between the +cherubs in the church architecture, and the cherub in the white +waistcoat. Some remembrance of old Valentines, wherein a +cherub, less appropriately attired for a proverbially uncertain +climate, had been seen conducting lovers to the altar, might have +been fancied to inflame the ardour of his timber toes. Be it as it +might, he gave his moorings the slip, and followed in chase. + +The cherub went before, all beaming smiles; Bella and John +Rokesmith followed; Gruff and Glum stuck to them like wax. For +years, the wings of his mind had gone to look after the legs of his +body; but Bella had brought them back for him per steamer, and +they were spread again. + +He was a slow sailer on a wind of happiness, but he took a cross +cut for the rendezvous, and pegged away as if he were scoring +furiously at cribbage. When the shadow of the church-porch +swallowed them up, victorious Gruff and Glum likewise presented +himself to be swallowed up. And by this time the cherubic parent +was so fearful of surprise, that, but for the two wooden legs on +which Gruff and Glum was reassuringly mounted, his conscience +might have introduced, in the person of that pensioner, his own +stately lady disguised, arrived at Greenwich in a car and griffins, +like the spiteful Fairy at the christenings of the Princesses, to do +something dreadful to the marriage service. And truly he had a +momentary reason to be pale of face, and to whisper to Bella, 'You +don't think that can be your Ma; do you, my dear?' on account of a +mysterious rustling and a stealthy movement somewhere in the +remote neighbourhood of the organ, though it was gone directly +and was heard no more. Albeit it was heard of afterwards, as will +afterwards be read in this veracious register of marriage. + +Who taketh? I, John, and so do I, Bella. Who giveth? I, R. W. +Forasmuch, Gruff and Glum, as John and Bella have consented +together in holy wedlock, you may (in short) consider it done, and +withdraw your two wooden legs from this temple. To the +foregoing purport, the Minister speaking, as directed by the +Rubric, to the People, selectly represented in the present instance +by G. and G. above mentioned. + +And now, the church-porch having swallowed up Bella Wilfer for +ever and ever, had it not in its power to relinquish that young +woman, but slid into the happy sunlight, Mrs John Rokesmith +instead. And long on the bright steps stood Gruff and Glum, +looking after the pretty bride, with a narcotic consciousness of +having dreamed a dream. + +After which, Bella took out from her pocket a little letter, and read +it aloud to Pa and John; this being a true copy of the same. + + +'DEAREST MA, + +I hope you won't be angry, but I am most happily married to Mr +John Rokesmith, who loves me better than I can ever deserve, +except by loving him with all my heart. I thought it best not to +mention it beforehand, in case it should cause any little difference +at home. Please tell darling Pa. With love to Lavvy, + +Ever dearest Ma, +Your affectionate daughter, +BELLA +(P.S.--Rokesmith).' + + +Then, John Rokesmith put the queen's countenance on the letter-- +when had Her Gracious Majesty looked so benign as on that +blessed morning!--and then Bella popped it into the post-office, +and said merrily, 'Now, dearest Pa, you are safe, and will never be +taken alive!' + +Pa was, at first, in the stirred depths of his conscience, so far from +sure of being safe yet, that he made out majestic matrons lurking in +ambush among the harmless trees of Greenwich Park, and seemed +to see a stately countenance tied up in a well-known pocket- +handkerchief glooming down at him from a window of the +Observatory, where the Familiars of the Astronomer Royal nightly +outwatch the winking stars. But, the minutes passing on and no +Mrs Wilfer in the flesh appearing, he became more confident, and +so repaired with good heart and appetite to Mr and Mrs John +Rokesmith's cottage on Blackheath, where breakfast was ready. + +A modest little cottage but a bright and a fresh, and on the snowy +tablecloth the prettiest of little breakfasts. In waiting, too, like an +attendant summer breeze, a fluttering young damsel, all pink and +ribbons, blushing as if she had been married instead of Bella, and +yet asserting the triumph of her sex over both John and Pa, in an +exulting and exalted flurry: as who should say, 'This is what you +must all come to, gentlemen, when we choose to bring you to +book.' This same young damsel was Bella's serving-maid, and +unto her did deliver a bunch of keys, commanding treasures in the +way of dry-saltery, groceries, jams and pickles, the investigation of +which made pastime after breakfast, when Bella declared that 'Pa +must taste everything, John dear, or it will never be lucky,' and +when Pa had all sorts of things poked into his mouth, and didn't +quite know what to do with them when they were put there. + +Then they, all three, out for a charming ride, and for a charming +stroll among heath in bloom, and there behold the identical Gruff +and Glum with his wooden legs horizontally disposed before him, +apparently sitting meditating on the vicissitudes of life! To whom +said Bella, in her light-hearted surprise: 'Oh! How do you do +again? What a dear old pensioner you are!' To which Gruff and +Glum responded that he see her married this morning, my Beauty, +and that if it warn't a liberty he wished her ji and the fairest of fair +wind and weather; further, in a general way requesting to know +what cheer? and scrambling up on his two wooden legs to salute, +hat in hand, ship-shape, with the gallantry of a man-of-warsman +and a heart of oak. + +It was a pleasant sight, in the midst of the golden bloom, to see +this salt old Gruff and Glum, waving his shovel hat at Bella, while +his thin white hair flowed free, as if she had once more launched +him into blue water again. 'You are a charming old pensioner,' +said Bella, 'and I am so happy that I wish I could make you happy, +too.' Answered Gruff and Glum, 'Give me leave to kiss your hand, +my Lovely, and it's done!' So it was done to the general +contentment; and if Gruff and Glum didn't in the course of the +afternoon splice the main brace, it was not for want of the means of +inflicting that outrage on the feelings of the Infant Bands of Hope. + +But, the marriage dinner was the crowning success, for what had +bride and bridegroom plotted to do, but to have and to hold that +dinner in the very room of the very hotel where Pa and the lovely +woman had once dined together! Bella sat between Pa and John, +and divided her attentions pretty equally, but felt it necessary (in +the waiter's absence before dinner) to remind Pa that she was HIS +lovely woman no longer. + +'I am well aware of it, my dear,' returned the cherub, 'and I resign +you willingly.' + +'Willingly, sir? You ought to be brokenhearted.' + +'So I should be, my dear, if I thought that I was going to lose you.' + +'But you know you are not; don't you, poor dear Pa? You know +that you have only made a new relation who will be as fond of you +and as thankful to you--for my sake and your own sake both--as I +am; don't you, dear little Pa? Look here, Pa!' Bella put her finger +on her own lip, and then on Pa's, and then on her own lip again, +and then on her husband's. 'Now, we are a partnership of three, +dear Pa.' + +The appearance of dinner here cut Bella short in one of her +disappearances: the more effectually, because it was put on under +the auspices of a solemn gentleman in black clothes and a white +cravat, who looked much more like a clergyman than THE +clergyman, and seemed to have mounted a great deal higher in the +church: not to say, scaled the steeple. This dignitary, conferring in +secrecy with John Rokesmith on the subject of punch and wines, +bent his head as though stooping to the Papistical practice of +receiving auricular confession. Likewise, on John's offering a +suggestion which didn't meet his views, his face became overcast +and reproachful, as enjoining penance. + +What a dinner! Specimens of all the fishes that swim in the sea, +surely had swum their way to it, and if samples of the fishes of +divers colours that made a speech in the Arabian Nights (quite a +ministerial explanation in respect of cloudiness), and then jumped +out of the frying-pan, were not to be recognized, it was only +because they had all become of one hue by being cooked in batter +among the whitebait. And the dishes being seasoned with Bliss-- +an article which they are sometimes out of, at Greenwich--were of +perfect flavour, and the golden drinks had been bottled in the +golden age and hoarding up their sparkles ever since. + +The best of it was, that Bella and John and the cherub had made a +covenant that they would not reveal to mortal eyes any appearance +whatever of being a wedding party. Now, the supervising +dignitary, the Archbishop of Greenwich, knew this as well as if he +had performed the nuptial ceremony. And the loftiness with which +his Grace entered into their confidence without being invited, and +insisted on a show of keeping the waiters out of it, was the +crowning glory of the entertainment. + +There was an innocent young waiter of a slender form and with +weakish legs, as yet unversed in the wiles of waiterhood, and but +too evidently of a romantic temperament, and deeply (it were not +too much to add hopelessly) in love with some young female not +aware of his merit. This guileless youth, descrying the position of +affairs, which even his innocence could not mistake, limited his +waiting to languishing admiringly against the sideboard when +Bella didn't want anything, and swooping at her when she did. +Him, his Grace the Archbishop perpetually obstructed, cutting him +out with his elbow in the moment of success, despatching him in +degrading quest of melted butter, and, when by any chance he got +hold of any dish worth having, bereaving him of it, and ordering +him to stand back. + +'Pray excuse him, madam,' said the Archbishop in a low stately +voice; 'he is a very young man on liking, and we DON'T like him.' + +This induced John Rokesmith to observe--by way of making the +thing more natural--'Bella, my love, this is so much more +successful than any of our past anniversaries, that I think we must +keep our future anniversaries here.' + +Whereunto Bella replied, with probably the least successful +attempt at looking matronly that ever was seen: 'Indeed, I think so, +John, dear.' + +Here the Archbishop of Greenwich coughed a stately cough to +attract the attention of three of his ministers present, and staring at +them, seemed to say: 'I call upon you by your fealty to believe this!' + +With his own hands he afterwards put on the dessert, as remarking +to the three guests, 'The period has now arrived at which we can +dispense with the assistance of those fellows who are not in our +confidence,' and would have retired with complete dignity but for a +daring action issuing from the misguided brain of the young man +on liking. He finding, by ill-fortune, a piece of orange flower +somewhere in the lobbies now approached undetected with the +same in a finger-glass, and placed it on Bella's right hand. The +Archbishop instantly ejected and excommunicated him; but the +thing was done. + +'I trust, madam,' said his Grace, returning alone, 'that you will have +the kindness to overlook it, in consideration of its being the act of a +very young man who is merely here on liking, and who will never +answer.' + +With that, he solemnly bowed and retired, and they all burst into +laughter, long and merry. 'Disguise is of no use,' said Bella; 'they +all find me out; I think it must be, Pa and John dear, because I look +so happy!' + +Her husband feeling it necessary at this point to demand one of +those mysterious disappearances on Bella's part, she dutifully +obeyed; saying in a softened voice from her place of concealment: + +'You remember how we talked about the ships that day, Pa?' + +'Yes, my dear.' + +'Isn't it strange, now, to think that there was no John in all the +ships, Pa?' + +'Not at all, my dear.' + +'Oh, Pa! Not at all?' + +'No, my dear. How can we tell what coming people are aboard the +ships that may be sailing to us now from the unknown seas!' + +Bella remaining invisible and silent, her father remained at his +dessert and wine, until he remembered it was time for him to get +home to Holloway. 'Though I positively cannot tear myself away,' +he cherubically added, '--it would be a sin--without drinking to +many, many happy returns of this most happy day.' + +'Here! ten thousand times!' cried John. 'I fill my glass and my +precious wife's.' + +'Gentlemen,' said the cherub, inaudibly addressing, in his Anglo- +Saxon tendency to throw his feelings into the form of a speech, the +boys down below, who were bidding against each other to put their +heads in the mud for sixpence: 'Gentlemen--and Bella and John-- +you will readily suppose that it is not my intention to trouble you +with many observations on the present occasion. You will also at +once infer the nature and even the terms of the toast I am about to +propose on the present occasion. Gentlemen--and Bella and John-- +the present occasion is an occasion fraught with feelings that I +cannot trust myself to express. But gentlemen--and Bella and +John--for the part I have had in it, for the confidence you have +placed in me, and for the affectionate good-nature and kindness +with which you have determined not to find me in the way, when I +am well aware that I cannot be otherwise than in it more or less, I +do most heartily thank you. Gentlemen--and Bella and John--my +love to you, and may we meet, as on the present occasion, on many +future occasions; that is to say, gentlemen--and Bella and John--on +many happy returns of the present happy occasion.' + +Having thus concluded his address, the amiable cherub embraced +his daughter, and took his flight to the steamboat which was to +convey him to London, and was then lying at the floating pier, +doing its best to bump the same to bits. But, the happy couple +were not going to part with him in that way, and before he had +been on board two minutes, there they were, looking down at him +from the wharf above. + +'Pa, dear!' cried Bella, beckoning him with her parasol to approach +the side, and bending gracefully to whisper. + +'Yes, my darling.' + +'Did I beat you much with that horrid little bonnet, Pa?' + +'Nothing to speak of; my dear.' + +'Did I pinch your legs, Pa?' + +'Only nicely, my pet.' + +'You are sure you quite forgive me, Pa? Please, Pa, please, forgive +me quite!' Half laughing at him and half crying to him, Bella +besought him in the prettiest manner; in a manner so engaging and +so playful and so natural, that her cherubic parent made a coaxing +face as if she had never grown up, and said, 'What a silly little +Mouse it is!' + +'But you do forgive me that, and everything else; don't you, Pa?' + +'Yes, my dearest.' + +'And you don't feel solitary or neglected, going away by yourself; +do you, Pa?' + +'Lord bless you! No, my Life!' + +'Good-bye, dearest Pa. Good-bye!' + +'Good-bye, my darling! Take her away, my dear John. Take her home!' + +So, she leaning on her husband's arm, they turned homeward by a +rosy path which the gracious sun struck out for them in its setting. +And O there are days in this life, worth life and worth death. And +O what a bright old song it is, that O 'tis love, 'tis love, 'tis love +that makes the world go round! + + + +Chapter 5 + +CONCERNING THE MENDICANT'S BRIDE + + +The impressive gloom with which Mrs Wilfer received her +husband on his return from the wedding, knocked so hard at the +door of the cherubic conscience, and likewise so impaired the +firmness of the cherubic legs, that the culprit's tottering condition +of mind and body might have roused suspicion in less occupied +persons that the grimly heroic lady, Miss Lavinia, and that +esteemed friend of the family, Mr George Sampson. But, the +attention of all three being fully possessed by the main fact of the +marriage, they had happily none to bestow on the guilty +conspirator; to which fortunate circumstance he owed the escape +for which he was in nowise indebted to himself. + +'You do not, R. W.' said Mrs Wilfer from her stately corner, +'inquire for your daughter Bella.' + +'To be sure, my dear,' he returned, with a most flagrant assumption +of unconsciousness, 'I did omit it. How--or perhaps I should +rather say where--IS Bella?' + +'Not here,' Mrs Wilfer proclaimed, with folded arms. + +The cherub faintly muttered something to the abortive effect of 'Oh, +indeed, my dear!' + +'Not here,' repeated Mrs Wilfer, in a stern sonorous voice. 'In a +word, R. W., you have no daughter Bella.' + +'No daughter Bella, my dear?' + +'No. Your daughter Bella,' said Mrs Wilfer, with a lofty air of +never having had the least copartnership in that young lady: of +whom she now made reproachful mention as an article of luxury +which her husband had set up entirely on his own account, and in +direct opposition to her advice: '--your daughter Bella has +bestowed herself upon a Mendicant.' + +'Good gracious, my dear!' + +'Show your father his daughter Bella's letter, Lavinia,' said Mrs +Wilfer, in her monotonous Act of Parliament tone, and waving her +hand. 'I think your father will admit it to be documentary proof of +what I tell him. I believe your father is acquainted with his +daughter Bella's writing. But I do not know. He may tell you he is +not. Nothing will surprise me.' + +'Posted at Greenwich, and dated this morning,' said the +Irrepressible, flouncing at her father in handing him the evidence. +'Hopes Ma won't be angry, but is happily married to Mr John +Rokesmith, and didn't mention it beforehand to avoid words, and +please tell darling you, and love to me, and I should like to know +what you'd have said if any other unmarried member of the family +had done it!' + +He read the letter, and faintly exclaimed 'Dear me!' + +'You may well say Dear me!' rejoined Mrs Wilfer, in a deep tone. +Upon which encouragement he said it again, though scarcely with +the success he had expected; for the scornful lady then remarked, +with extreme bitterness: 'You said that before.' + +'It's very surprising. But I suppose, my dear,' hinted the cherub, as +he folded the letter after a disconcerting silence, 'that we must +make the best of it? Would you object to my pointing out, my +dear, that Mr John Rokesmith is not (so far as I am acquainted +with him), strictly speaking, a Mendicant.' + +'Indeed?' returned Mrs Wilfer, with an awful air of politeness. +'Truly so? I was not aware that Mr John Rokesmith was a +gentleman of landed property. But I am much relieved to hear it.' + +'I doubt if you HAVE heard it, my dear,' the cherub submitted with +hesitation. + +'Thank you,' said Mrs Wilfer. 'I make false statements, it appears? +So be it. If my daughter flies in my face, surely my husband may. +The one thing is not more unnatural than the other. There seems a +fitness in the arrangement. By all means!' Assuming, with a +shiver of resignation, a deadly cheerfulness. + +But, here the Irrepressible skirmished into the conflict, dragging +the reluctant form of Mr Sampson after her. + +'Ma,' interposed the young lady, 'I must say I think it would be +much better if you would keep to the point, and not hold forth +about people's flying into people's faces, which is nothing more nor +less than impossible nonsense.' + +'How!' exclaimed Mrs Wilfer, knitting her dark brows. + +'Just im-possible nonsense, Ma,' returned Lavvy, 'and George +Sampson knows it is, as well as I do.' + +Mrs Wilfer suddenly becoming petrified, fixed her indignant eyes +upon the wretched George: who, divided between the support due +from him to his love, and the support due from him to his love's +mamma, supported nobody, not even himself. + +'The true point is,' pursued Lavinia, 'that Bella has behaved in a +most unsisterly way to me, and might have severely compromised +me with George and with George's family, by making off and +getting married in this very low and disreputable manner--with +some pew-opener or other, I suppose, for a bridesmaid--when she +ought to have confided in me, and ought to have said, "If, Lavvy, +you consider it due to your engagement with George, that you +should countenance the occasion by being present, then Lavvy, I +beg you to BE present, keeping my secret from Ma and Pa." As of +course I should have done.' + +'As of course you would have done? Ingrate!' exclaimed Mrs +Wilfer. 'Viper!' + +'I say! You know ma'am. Upon my honour you mustn't,' Mr +Sampson remonstrated, shaking his head seriously, 'With the +highest respect for you, ma'am, upon my life you mustn't. No +really, you know. When a man with the feelings of a gentleman +finds himself engaged to a young lady, and it comes (even on the +part of a member of the family) to vipers, you know!--I would +merely put it to your own good feeling, you know,' said Mr +Sampson, in rather lame conclusion. + +Mrs Wilfer's baleful stare at the young gentleman in +acknowledgment of his obliging interference was of such a nature +that Miss Lavinia burst into tears, and caught him round the neck +for his protection. + +'My own unnatural mother,' screamed the young lady, 'wants to +annihilate George! But you shan't be annihilated, George. I'll die +first!' + +Mr Sampson, in the arms of his mistress, still struggled to shake +his head at Mrs Wilfer, and to remark: 'With every sentiment of +respect for you, you know, ma'am--vipers really doesn't do you +credit.' + +'You shall not be annihilated, George!' cried Miss Lavinia. 'Ma +shall destroy me first, and then she'll be contented. Oh, oh, oh! +Have I lured George from his happy home to expose him to this! +George, dear, be free! Leave me, ever dearest George, to Ma and to +my fate. Give my love to your aunt, George dear, and implore her +not to curse the viper that has crossed your path and blighted your +existence. Oh, oh, oh!' The young lady who, hysterically speaking, +was only just come of age, and had never gone off yet, here fell into +a highly creditable crisis, which, regarded as a first performance, +was very successful; Mr Sampson, bending over the body +meanwhile, in a state of distraction, which induced him to address +Mrs Wilfer in the inconsistent expressions: 'Demon--with the +highest respect for you--behold your work!' + +The cherub stood helplessly rubbing his chin and looking on, but +on the whole was inclined to welcome this diversion as one in +which, by reason of the absorbent properties of hysterics, the +previous question would become absorbed. And so, indeed, it +proved, for the Irrepressible gradually coming to herself; and +asking with wild emotion, 'George dear, are you safe?' and further, +'George love, what has happened? Where is Ma?' Mr Sampson, +with words of comfort, raised her prostrate form, and handed her to +Mrs Wilfer as if the young lady were something in the nature of +refreshments. Mrs Wilfer with dignity partaking of the +refreshments, by kissing her once on the brow (as if accepting an +oyster), Miss Lavvy, tottering, returned to the protection of Mr +Sampson; to whom she said, 'George dear, I am afraid I have been +foolish; but I am still a little weak and giddy; don't let go my hand, +George!' And whom she afterwards greatly agitated at intervals, +by giving utterance, when least expected, to a sound between a sob +and a bottle of soda water, that seemed to rend the bosom of her +frock. + +Among the most remarkable effects of this crisis may be +mentioned its having, when peace was restored, an inexplicable +moral influence, of an elevating kind, on Miss Lavinia, Mrs +Wilfer, and Mr George Sampson, from which R. W. was +altogether excluded, as an outsider and non-sympathizer. Miss +Lavinia assumed a modest air of having distinguished herself; Mrs +Wilfer, a serene air of forgiveness and resignation; Mr Sampson, +an air of having been improved and chastened. The influence +pervaded the spirit in which they returned to the previous question. + +'George dear,' said Lavvy, with a melancholy smile, 'after what has +passed, I am sure Ma will tell Pa that he may tell Bella we shall all +be glad to see her and her husband.' + +Mr Sampson said he was sure of it too; murmuring how eminently +he respected Mrs Wilfer, and ever must, and ever would. Never +more eminently, he added, than after what had passed. + +'Far be it from me,' said Mrs Wilfer, making deep proclamation +from her corner, 'to run counter to the feelings of a child of mine, +and of a Youth,' Mr Sampson hardly seemed to like that word, +'who is the object of her maiden preference. I may feel--nay, +know--that I have been deluded and deceived. I may feel--nay, +know--that I have been set aside and passed over. I may feel--nay, +know--that after having so far overcome my repugnance towards +Mr and Mrs Boffin as to receive them under this roof, and to +consent to your daughter Bella's,' here turning to her husband, +'residing under theirs, it were well if your daughter Bella,' again +turning to her husband, 'had profited in a worldly point of view by +a connection so distasteful, so disreputable. I may feel--nay, +know--that in uniting herself to Mr Rokesmith she has united +herself to one who is, in spite of shallow sophistry, a Mendicant. +And I may feel well assured that your daughter Bella,' again +turning to her husband, 'does not exalt her family by becoming a +Mendicant's bride. But I suppress what I feel, and say nothing of +it.' + +Mr Sampson murmured that this was the sort of thing you might +expect from one who had ever in her own family been an example +and never an outrage. And ever more so (Mr Sampson added, with +some degree of obscurity,) and never more so, than in and through +what had passed. He must take the liberty of adding, that what +was true of the mother was true of the youngest daughter, and that +he could never forget the touching feelings that the conduct of both +had awakened within him. In conclusion, he did hope that there +wasn't a man with a beating heart who was capable of something +that remained undescribed, in consequence of Miss Lavinia's +stopping him as he reeled in his speech. + +'Therefore, R. W.' said Mrs Wilfer, resuming her discourse and +turning to her lord again, 'let your daughter Bella come when she +will, and she will be received. So,' after a short pause, and an air +of having taken medicine in it, 'so will her husband.' + +'And I beg, Pa,' said Lavinia, 'that you will not tell Bella what I +have undergone. It can do no good, and it might cause her to +reproach herself.' + +'My dearest girl,' urged Mr Sampson, 'she ought to know it.' + +'No, George,' said Lavinia, in a tone of resolute self-denial. 'No, +dearest George, let it be buried in oblivion.' + +Mr Sampson considered that, 'too noble.' + +'Nothing is too noble, dearest George,' returned Lavinia. 'And Pa, I +hope you will be careful not to refer before Bella, if you can help it, +to my engagement to George. It might seem like reminding her of +her having cast herself away. And I hope, Pa, that you will think it +equally right to avoid mentioning George's rising prospects, when +Bella is present. It might seem like taunting her with her own poor +fortunes. Let me ever remember that I am her younger sister, and +ever spare her painful contrasts, which could not but wound her +sharply.' + +Mr Sampson expressed his belief that such was the demeanour of +Angels. Miss Lavvy replied with solemnity, 'No, dearest George, I +am but too well aware that I am merely human.' + +Mrs Wilfer, for her part, still further improved the occasion by +sitting with her eyes fastened on her husband, like two great black +notes of interrogation, severely inquiring, Are you looking into +your breast? Do you deserve your blessings? Can you lay your +hand upon your heart and say that you are worthy of so hysterical a +daughter? I do not ask you if you are worthy of such a wife--put +Me out of the question--but are you sufficiently conscious of, and +thankful for, the pervading moral grandeur of the family spectacle +on which you are gazing? These inquiries proved very harassing to +R. W. who, besides being a little disturbed by wine, was in +perpetual terror of committing himself by the utterance of stray +words that would betray his guilty foreknowledge. However, the +scene being over, and--all things considered--well over, he sought +refuge in a doze; which gave his lady immense offence. + +'Can you think of your daughter Bella, and sleep?' she disdainfully +inquired. + +To which he mildly answered, 'Yes, I think I can, my dear.' + +'Then,' said Mrs Wilfer, with solemn indignation, 'I would +recommend you, if you have a human feeling, to retire to bed.' + +'Thank you, my dear,' he replied; 'I think it IS the best place for +me.' And with these unsympathetic words very gladly withdrew. + +Within a few weeks afterwards, the Mendicant's bride (arm-in-arm +with the Mendicant) came to tea, in fulfilment of an engagement +made through her father. And the way in which the Mendicant's +bride dashed at the unassailable position so considerately to be +held by Miss Lavy, and scattered the whole of the works in all +directions in a moment, was triumphant. + +'Dearest Ma,' cried Bella, running into the room with a radiant +face, 'how do you do, dearest Ma?' And then embraced her, +joyously. 'And Lavvy darling, how do YOU do, and how's George +Sampson, and how is he getting on, and when are you going to be +married, and how rich are you going to grow? You must tell me +all about it, Lavvy dear, immediately. John, love, kiss Ma and +Lavvy, and then we shall all be at home and comfortable.' + +Mrs Wilfer stared, but was helpless. Miss Lavinia stared, but was +helpless. Apparently with no compunction, and assuredly with no +ceremony, Bella tossed her bonnet away, and sat down to make the +tea. + +'Dearest Ma and Lavvy, you both take sugar, I know. And Pa (you +good little Pa), you don't take milk. John does. I didn't before I +was married; but I do now, because John does. John dear, did you +kiss Ma and Lavvy? Oh, you did! Quite correct, John dear; but I +didn't see you do it, so I asked. Cut some bread and butter, John; +that's a love. Ma likes it doubled. And now you must tell me, +dearest Ma and Lavvy, upon your words and honours! Didn't you +for a moment--just a moment--think I was a dreadful little wretch +when I wrote to say I had run away?' + +Before Mrs Wilfer could wave her gloves, the Mendicant's bride in +her merriest affectionate manner went on again. + +'I think it must have made you rather cross, dear Ma and Lavvy, +and I know I deserved that you should be very cross. But you see I +had been such a heedless, heartless creature, and had led you so to +expect that I should marry for money, and so to make sure that I +was incapable of marrying for love, that I thought you couldn't +believe me. Because, you see, you didn't know how much of Good, +Good, Good, I had learnt from John. Well! So I was sly about it, +and ashamed of what you supposed me to be, and fearful that we +couldn't understand one another and might come to words, which +we should all be sorry for afterwards, and so I said to John that if +he liked to take me without any fuss, he might. And as he did like, +I let him. And we were married at Greenwich church in the +presence of nobody--except an unknown individual who dropped +in,' here her eyes sparkled more brightly, 'and half a pensioner. +And now, isn't it nice, dearest Ma and Lavvy, to know that no +words have been said which any of us can be sorry for, and that we +are all the best of friends at the pleasantest of teas!' + +Having got up and kissed them again, she slipped back to her chair +(after a loop on the road to squeeze her husband round the neck) +and again went on. + +'And now you will naturally want to know, dearest Ma and Lavvy, +how we live, and what we have got to live upon. Well! And so we +live on Blackheath, in the charm--ingest of dolls' houses, de-- +lightfully furnished, and we have a clever little servant who is de-- +cidedly pretty, and we are economical and orderly, and do +everything by clockwork, and we have a hundred and fifty pounds +a year, and we have all we want, and more. And lastly, if you +would like to know in confidence, as perhaps you may, what is my +opinion of my husband, my opinion is--that I almost love him!' + +'And if you would like to know in confidence, as perhaps you may,' +said her husband, smiling, as he stood by her side, without her +having detected his approach, 'my opinion of my wife, my opinion +is--.' But Bella started up, and put her hand upon his lips. + +'Stop, Sir! No, John, dear! Seriously! Please not yet a while! I +want to be something so much worthier than the doll in the doll's +house.' + +'My darling, are you not?' + +'Not half, not a quarter, so much worthier as I hope you may some +day find me! Try me through some reverse, John--try me through +some trial--and tell them after THAT, what you think of me.' + +'I will, my Life,' said John. 'I promise it.' + +'That's my dear John. And you won't speak a word now; will you?' + +'And I won't,' said John, with a very expressive look of admiration +around him, 'speak a word now!' + +She laid her laughing cheek upon his breast to thank him, and said, +looking at the rest of them sideways out of her bright eyes: 'I'll go +further, Pa and Ma and Lavvy. John don't suspect it--he has no +idea of it--but I quite love him!' + +Even Mrs Wilfer relaxed under the influence of her married +daughter, and seemed in a majestic manner to imply remotely that +if R. W. had been a more deserving object, she too might have +condescended to come down from her pedestal for his beguilement. +Miss Lavinia, on the other hand, had strong doubts of the policy of +the course of treatment, and whether it might not spoil Mr +Sampson, if experimented on in the case of that young gentleman. +R. W. himself was for his part convinced that he was father of one +of the most charming of girls, and that Rokesmith was the most +favoured of men; which opinion, if propounded to him, Rokesmith +would probably not have contested. + +The newly-married pair left early, so that they might walk at +leisure to their starting-place from London, for Greenwich. At +first they were very cheerful and talked much; but after a while, +Bella fancied that her husband was turning somewhat thoughtful. +So she asked him: + +'John dear, what's the matter?' + +'Matter, my love?' + +'Won't you tell me,' said Bella, looking up into his face, 'what you +are thinking of?' + +'There's not much in the thought, my soul. I was thinking +whether you wouldn't like me to be rich?' + +'You rich, John?' repeated Bella, shrinking a little. + +'I mean, really rich. Say, as rich as Mr Boffin. You would like +that?' + +'I should be almost afraid to try, John dear. Was he much the +better for his wealth? Was I much the better for the little part I +once had in it?' + +'But all people are not the worse for riches, my own.' + +'Most people?' Bella musingly suggested with raised eyebrows. + +'Nor even most people, it may be hoped. If you were rich, for +instance, you would have a great power of doing good to others.' + +'Yes, sir, for instance,' Bella playfully rejoined; 'but should I +exercise the power, for instance? And again, sir, for instance; +should I, at the same time, have a great power of doing harm to +myself?' + +Laughing and pressing her arm, he retorted: 'But still, again for +instance; would you exercise that power?' + +'I don't know,' said Bella, thoughtfully shaking her head. 'I hope +not. I think not. But it's so easy to hope not and think not, without +the riches.' + +'Why don't you say, my darling--instead of that phrase--being +poor?' he asked, looking earnestly at her. + +'Why don't I say, being poor! Because I am not poor. Dear John, +it's not possible that you suppose I think we are poor?' + +'I do, my love.' + +'Oh John!' + +'Understand me, sweetheart. I know that I am rich beyond all +wealth in having you; but I think OF you, and think FOR you. In +such a dress as you are wearing now, you first charmed me, and in +no dress could you ever look, to my thinking, more graceful or +more beautiful. But you have admired many finer dresses this very +day; and is it not natural that I wish I could give them to you?' + +'It's very nice that you should wish it, John. It brings these tears of +grateful pleasure into my eyes, to hear you say so with such +tenderness. But I don't want them.' + +'Again,' he pursued, 'we are now walking through the muddy +streets. I love those pretty feet so dearly, that I feel as if I could not +bear the dirt to soil the sole of your shoe. Is it not natural that I +wish you could ride in a carriage?' + +'It's very nice,' said Bella, glancing downward at the feet in +question, 'to know that you admire them so much, John dear, and +since you do, I am sorry that these shoes are a full size too large. +But I don't want a carriage, believe me.' + +'You would like one if you could have one, Bella?' + +'I shouldn't like it for its own sake, half so well as such a wish for +it. Dear John, your wishes are as real to me as the wishes in the +Fairy story, that were all fulfilled as soon as spoken. Wish me +everything that you can wish for the woman you dearly love, and I +have as good as got it, John. I have better than got it, John!' + +They were not the less happy for such talk, and home was not the +less home for coming after it. Bella was fast developing a perfect +genius for home. All the loves and graces seemed (her husband +thought) to have taken domestic service with her, and to help her to +make home engaging. + +Her married life glided happily on. She was alone all day, for, +after an early breakfast her husband repaired every morning to the +City, and did not return until their late dinner hour. He was 'in a +China house,' he explained to Bella: which she found quite +satisfactory, without pursuing the China house into minuter details +than a wholesale vision of tea, rice, odd-smelling silks, carved +boxes, and tight-eyed people in more than double-soled shoes, with +their pigtails pulling their heads of hair off, painted on transparent +porcelain. She always walked with her husband to the railroad, +and was always there again to meet him; her old coquettish ways a +little sobered down (but not much), and her dress as daintily +managed as if she managed nothing else. But, John gone to +business and Bella returned home, the dress would be laid aside, +trim little wrappers and aprons would be substituted, and Bella, +putting back her hair with both hands, as if she were making the +most business-like arrangements for going dramatically distracted, +would enter on the household affairs of the day. Such weighing +and mixing and chopping and grating, such dusting and washing +and polishing, such snipping and weeding and trowelling and +other small gardening, such making and mending and folding and +airing, such diverse arrangements, and above all such severe study! +For Mrs J. R., who had never been wont to do too much at home as +Miss B. W., was under the constant necessity of referring for +advice and support to a sage volume entitled The Complete British +Family Housewife, which she would sit consulting, with her +elbows on the table and her temples on her hands, like some +perplexed enchantress poring over the Black Art. This, principally +because the Complete British Housewife, however sound a Briton +at heart, was by no means an expert Briton at expressing herself +with clearness in the British tongue, and sometimes might have +issued her directions to equal purpose in the Kamskatchan +language. In any crisis of this nature, Bella would suddenly +exclaim aloud, 'Oh you ridiculous old thing, what do you mean by +that? You must have been drinking!' And having made this +marginal note, would try the Housewife again, with all her dimples +screwed into an expression of profound research. + +There was likewise a coolness on the part of the British Housewife, +which Mrs John Rokesmith found highly exasperating. She would +say, 'Take a salamander,' as if a general should command a private +to catch a Tartar. Or, she would casually issue the order, 'Throw in +a handful--' of something entirely unattainable. In these, the +Housewife's most glaring moments of unreason, Bella would shut +her up and knock her on the table, apostrophising her with the +compliment, 'O you ARE a stupid old Donkey! Where am I to get +it, do you think?' + +Another branch of study claimed the attention of Mrs John +Rokesmith for a regular period every day. This was the mastering +of the newspaper, so that she might be close up with John on +general topics when John came home. In her desire to be in all +things his companion, she would have set herself with equal zeal +to master Algebra, or Euclid, if he had divided his soul between +her and either. Wonderful was the way in which she would store +up the City Intelligence, and beamingly shed it upon John in the +course of the evening; incidentally mentioning the commodities +that were looking up in the markets, and how much gold had been +taken to the Bank, and trying to look wise and serious over it until +she would laugh at herself most charmingly and would say, kissing +him: 'It all comes of my love, John dear.' + +For a City man, John certainly did appear to care as little as might +be for the looking up or looking down of things, as well as for the +gold that got taken to the Bank. But he cared, beyond all +expression, for his wife, as a most precious and sweet commodity +that was always looking up, and that never was worth less than all +the gold in the world. And she, being inspired by her affection, +and having a quick wit and a fine ready instinct, made amazing +progress in her domestic efficiency, though, as an endearing +creature, she made no progress at all. This was her husband's +verdict, and he justified it by telling her that she had begun her +married life as the most endearing creature that could possibly be. + +'And you have such a cheerful spirit!' he said, fondly. 'You are like +a bright light in the house.' + +'Am I truly, John?' + +'Are you truly? Yes, indeed. Only much more, and much better.' + +'Do you know, John dear,' said Bella, taking him by a button of his +coat, 'that I sometimes, at odd moments--don't laugh, John, +please.' + +Nothing should induce John to do it, when she asked him not to do +it. + +'--That I sometimes think, John, I feel a little serious.' + +'Are you too much alone, my darling?' + +'O dear, no, John! The time is so short that I have not a moment +too much in the week.' + +'Why serious, my life, then? When serious?' + +'When I laugh, I think,' said Bella, laughing as she laid her head +upon his shoulder. 'You wouldn't believe, sir, that I feel serious +now? But I do.' And she laughed again, and something glistened +in her eyes. + +'Would you like to be rich, pet?' he asked her coaxingly. + +'Rich, John! How CAN you ask such goose's questions?' + +'Do you regret anything, my love?' + +'Regret anything? No!' Bella confidently answered. But then, +suddenly changing, she said, between laughing and glistening: +'Oh yes, I do though. I regret Mrs Boffin.' + +'I, too, regret that separation very much. But perhaps it is only +temporary. Perhaps things may so fall out, as that you may +sometimes see her again--as that we may sometimes see her again.' +Bella might be very anxious on the subject, but she scarcely +seemed so at the moment. With an absent air, she was +investigating that button on her husband's coat, when Pa came in +to spend the evening. + +Pa had his special chair and his special corner reserved for him on +all occasions, and--without disparagement of his domestic joys-- +was far happier there, than anywhere. It was always pleasantly +droll to see Pa and Bella together; but on this present evening her +husband thought her more than usually fantastic with him. + +'You are a very good little boy,' said Bella, 'to come unexpectedly, +as soon as you could get out of school. And how have they used +you at school to-day, you dear?' + +'Well, my pet,' replied the cherub, smiling and rubbing his hands +as she sat him down in his chair, 'I attend two schools. There's the +Mincing Lane establishment, and there's your mother's Academy. +Which might you mean, my dear?' + +'Both,' said Bella. + +'Both, eh? Why, to say the truth, both have taken a little out of me +to-day, my dear, but that was to be expected. There's no royal road +to learning; and what is life but learning!' + +'And what do you do with yourself when you have got your +learning by heart, you silly child?' + +'Why then, my dear,' said the cherub, after a little consideration, 'I +suppose I die.' + +'You are a very bad boy,' retorted Bella, 'to talk about dismal things +and be out of spirits.' + +'My Bella,' rejoined her father, 'I am not out of spirits. I am as gay +as a lark.' Which his face confirmed. + +'Then if you are sure and certain it's not you, I suppose it must be +I,' said Bella; 'so I won't do so any more. John dear, we must give +this little fellow his supper, you know.' + +'Of course we must, my darling.' + +'He has been grubbing and grubbing at school,' said Bella, looking +at her father's hand and lightly slapping it, 'till he's not fit to be +seen. O what a grubby child!' + +'Indeed, my dear,' said her father, 'I was going to ask to be allowed +to wash my hands, only you find me out so soon.' + +'Come here, sir!' cried Bella, taking him by the front of his coat, +'come here and be washed directly. You are not to be trusted to do +it for yourself. Come here, sir!' + +The cherub, to his genial amusement, was accordingly conducted +to a little washing-room, where Bella soaped his face and rubbed +his face, and soaped his hands and rubbed his hands, and splashed +him and rinsed him and towelled him, until he was as red as beet- +root, even to his very ears: 'Now you must be brushed and combed, +sir,' said Bella, busily. 'Hold the light, John. Shut your eyes, sir, +and let me take hold of your chin. Be good directly, and do as you +are told!' + +Her father being more than willing to obey, she dressed his hair in +her most elaborate manner, brushing it out straight, parting it, +winding it over her fingers, sticking it up on end, and constantly +falling back on John to get a good look at the effect of it. Who +always received her on his disengaged arm, and detained her, +while the patient cherub stood waiting to be finished. + +'There!' said Bella, when she had at last completed the final +touches. 'Now, you are something like a genteel boy! Put your +jacket on, and come and have your supper.' + +The cherub investing himself with his coat was led back to his +corner--where, but for having no egotism in his pleasant nature, he +would have answered well enough for that radiant though self- +sufficient boy, Jack Horner--Bella with her own hands laid a cloth +for him, and brought him his supper on a tray. 'Stop a moment,' +said she, 'we must keep his little clothes clean;' and tied a napkin +under his chin, in a very methodical manner. + +While he took his supper, Bella sat by him, sometimes +admonishing him to hold his fork by the handle, like a polite child, +and at other times carving for him, or pouring out his drink. +Fantastic as it all was, and accustomed as she ever had been to +make a plaything of her good father, ever delighted that she should +put him to that account, still there was an occasional something on +Bella's part that was new. It could not be said that she was less +playful, whimsical, or natural, than she always had been; but it +seemed, her husband thought, as if there were some rather graver +reason than he had supposed for what she had so lately said, and +as if throughout all this, there were glimpses of an underlying +seriousness. + +It was a circumstance in support of this view of the case, that when +she had lighted her father's pipe, and mixed him his glass of grog, +she sat down on a stool between her father and her husband, +leaning her arm upon the latter, and was very quiet. So quiet, that +when her father rose to take his leave, she looked round with a +start, as if she had forgotten his being there. + +'You go a little way with Pa, John?' + +'Yes, my dear. Do you?' + +'I have not written to Lizzie Hexam since I wrote and told her that +I really had a lover--a whole one. I have often thought I would like +to tell her how right she was when she pretended to read in the live +coals that I would go through fire and water for him. I am in the +humour to tell her so to-night, John, and I'll stay at home and do it.' + +'You are tired.' + +'Not at all tired, John dear, but in the humour to write to Lizzie. +Good night, dear Pa. Good night, you dear, good, gentle Pa!' + +Left to herself she sat down to write, and wrote Lizzie a long letter. +She had but completed it and read it over, when her husband came +back. 'You are just in time, sir,' said Bella; 'I am going to give you +your first curtain lecture. It shall be a parlour-curtain lecture. You +shall take this chair of mine when I have folded my letter, and I +will take the stool (though you ought to take it, I can tell you, sir, if +it's the stool of repentance), and you'll soon find yourself taken to +task soundly.' + +Her letter folded, sealed, and directed, and her pen wiped, and her +middle finger wiped, and her desk locked up and put away, and +these transactions performed with an air of severe business +sedateness, which the Complete British Housewife might have +assumed, and certainly would not have rounded off and broken +down in with a musical laugh, as Bella did: she placed her +husband in his chair, and placed herself upon her stool. + +'Now, sir! To begin at the beginning. What is your name?' + +A question more decidedly rushing at the secret he was keeping +from her, could not have astounded him. But he kept his +countenance and his secret, and answered, 'John Rokesmith, my +dear.' + +'Good boy! Who gave you that name?' + +With a returning suspicion that something might have betrayed +him to her, he answered, interrogatively, 'My godfathers and my +godmothers, dear love?' + +'Pretty good!' said Bella. 'Not goodest good, because you hesitate +about it. However, as you know your Catechism fairly, so far, I'll +let you off the rest. Now, I am going to examine you out of my +own head. John dear, why did you go back, this evening, to the +question you once asked me before--would I like to be rich?' + +Again, his secret! He looked down at her as she looked up at him, +with her hands folded on his knee, and it was as nearly told as +ever secret was. + +Having no reply ready, he could do no better than embrace her. + +'In short, dear John,' said Bella, 'this is the topic of my lecture: I +want nothing on earth, and I want you to believe it.' + +'If that's all, the lecture may be considered over, for I do.' + +'It's not all, John dear,' Bella hesitated. 'It's only Firstly. There's a +dreadful Secondly, and a dreadful Thirdly to come--as I used to say +to myself in sermon-time when I was a very small-sized sinner at +church.' + +'Let them come, my dearest.' + +'Are you sure, John dear; are you absolutely certain in your +innermost heart of hearts--?' + +'Which is not in my keeping,' he rejoined. + +'No, John, but the key is.--Are you absolutely certain that down at +the bottom of that heart of hearts, which you have given to me as I +have given mine to you, there is no remembrance that I was once +very mercenary?' + +'Why, if there were no remembrance in me of the time you speak +of,' he softly asked her with his lips to hers, 'could I love you quite +as well as I do; could I have in the Calendar of my life the brightest +of its days; could I whenever I look at your dear face, or hear your +dear voice, see and hear my noble champion? It can never have +been that which made you serious, darling?' + +'No John, it wasn't that, and still less was it Mrs Boffin, though I +love her. Wait a moment, and I'll go on with the lecture. Give me +a moment, because I like to cry for joy. It's so delicious, John dear, +to cry for joy.' + +She did so on his neck, and, still clinging there, laughed a little +when she said, 'I think I am ready now for Thirdly, John.' + +'I am ready for Thirdly,' said John, 'whatever it is.' + +'I believe, John,' pursued Bella, 'that you believe that I believe--' + +'My dear child,' cried her husband gaily, 'what a quantity of +believing!' + +'Isn't there?' said Bella, with another laugh. 'I never knew such a +quantity! It's like verbs in an exercise. But I can't get on with less +believing. I'll try again. I believe, dear John, that you believe that +I believe that we have as much money as we require, and that we +want for nothing.' + +'It is strictly true, Bella.' + +'But if our money should by any means be rendered not so much--if +we had to stint ourselves a little in purchases that we can afford to +make now--would you still have the same confidence in my being +quite contented, John?' + +'Precisely the same confidence, my soul.' + +'Thank you, John dear, thousands upon thousands of times. And I +may take it for granted, no doubt,' with a little faltering, 'that you +would be quite as contented yourself John? But, yes, I know I +may. For, knowing that I should be so, how surely I may know +that you would be so; you who are so much stronger, and firmer, +and more reasonable and more generous, than I am.' + +'Hush!' said her husband, 'I must not hear that. You are all wrong +there, though otherwise as right as can be. And now I am brought +to a little piece of news, my dearest, that I might have told you +earlier in the evening. I have strong reason for confidently +believing that we shall never be in the receipt of a smaller income +than our present income.' + +She might have shown herself more interested in the intelligence; +but she had returned to the investigation of the coat-button that had +engaged her attention a few hours before, and scarcely seemed to +heed what he said. + +'And now we have got to the bottom of it at last,' cried her +husband, rallying her, 'and this is the thing that made you serious?' + +'No dear,' said Bella, twisting the button and shaking her head, 'it +wasn't this.' + +'Why then, Lord bless this little wife of mine, there's a Fourthly!' +exclaimed John. + +'This worried me a little, and so did Secondly,' said Bella, occupied +with the button, 'but it was quite another sort of seriousness--a +much deeper and quieter sort of seriousness--that I spoke of John +dear.' + +As he bent his face to hers, she raised hers to meet it, and laid her +little right hand on his eyes, and kept it there. + +'Do you remember, John, on the day we were married, Pa's +speaking of the ships that might be sailing towards us from the +unknown seas?' + +'Perfectly, my darling!' + +'I think...among them...there is a ship upon the +ocean...bringing...to you and me...a little baby, John.' + + + +Chapter 6 + +A CRY FOR HELP + + +The Paper Mill had stopped work for the night, and the paths and +roads in its neighbourhood were sprinkled with clusters of people +going home from their day's labour in it. There were men, women, +and children in the groups, and there was no want of lively colour +to flutter in the gentle evening wind. The mingling of various +voices and the sound of laughter made a cheerful impression upon +the ear, analogous to that of the fluttering colours upon the eye. +Into the sheet of water reflecting the flushed sky in the foreground +of the living picture, a knot of urchins were casting stones, and +watching the expansion of the rippling circles. So, in the rosy +evening, one might watch the ever-widening beauty of the +landscape--beyond the newly-released workers wending home-- +beyond the silver river--beyond the deep green fields of corn, so +prospering, that the loiterers in their narrow threads of pathway +seemed to float immersed breast-high--beyond the hedgerows and +the clumps of trees--beyond the windmills on the ridge--away to +where the sky appeared to meet the earth, as if there were no +immensity of space between mankind and Heaven. + +It was a Saturday evening, and at such a time the village dogs, +always much more interested in the doings of humanity than in the +affairs of their own species, were particularly active. At the +general shop, at the butcher's and at the public-house, they evinced +an inquiring spirit never to be satiated. Their especial interest in +the public-house would seem to imply some latent rakishness in +the canine character; for little was eaten there, and they, having no +taste for beer or tobacco (Mrs Hubbard's dog is said to have +smoked, but proof is wanting), could only have been attracted by +sympathy with loose convivial habits. Moreover, a most wretched +fiddle played within; a fiddle so unutterably vile, that one lean +long-bodied cur, with a better ear than the rest, found himself +under compulsion at intervals to go round the corner and howl. +Yet, even he returned to the public-house on each occasion with +the tenacity of a confirmed drunkard. + +Fearful to relate, there was even a sort of little Fair in the village. +Some despairing gingerbread that had been vainly trying to dispose +of itself all over the country, and had cast a quantity of dust upon +its head in its mortification, again appealed to the public from an +infirm booth. So did a heap of nuts, long, long exiled from +Barcelona, and yet speaking English so indifferently as to call +fourteen of themselves a pint. A Peep-show which had originally +started with the Battle of Waterloo, and had since made it every +other battle of later date by altering the Duke of Wellington's nose, +tempted the student of illustrated history. A Fat Lady, perhaps in +part sustained upon postponed pork, her professional associate +being a Learned Pig, displayed her life-size picture in a low dress +as she appeared when presented at Court, several yards round. +All this was a vicious spectacle as any poor idea of amusement on +the part of the rougher hewers of wood and drawers of water in this +land of England ever is and shall be. They MUST NOT vary the +rheumatism with amusement. They may vary it with fever and +ague, or with as many rheumatic variations as they have joints; but +positively not with entertainment after their own manner. + +The various sounds arising from this scene of depravity, and +floating away into the still evening air, made the evening, at any +point which they just reached fitfully, mellowed by the distance, +more still by contrast. Such was the stillness of the evening to +Eugene Wrayburn, as he walked by the river with his hands behind +him. + +He walked slowly, and with the measured step and preoccupied air +of one who was waiting. He walked between the two points, an +osier-bed at this end and some floating lilies at that, and at each +point stopped and looked expectantly in one direction. + +'It is very quiet,' said he. + +It was very quiet. Some sheep were grazing on the grass by the +river-side, and it seemed to him that he had never before heard the +crisp tearing sound with which they cropped it. He stopped idly, +and looked at them. + +'You are stupid enough, I suppose. But if you are clever enough to +get through life tolerably to your satisfaction, you have got the +better of me, Man as I am, and Mutton as you are!' + +A rustle in a field beyond the hedge attracted his attention. 'What's +here to do?' he asked himself leisurely going towards the gate and +looking over. 'No jealous paper-miller? No pleasures of the chase +in this part of the country? Mostly fishing hereabouts!' + +The field had been newly mown, and there were yet the marks of +the scythe on the yellow-green ground, and the track of wheels +where the hay had been carried. Following the tracks with his +eyes, the view closed with the new hayrick in a corner. + +Now, if he had gone on to the hayrick, and gone round it? But, say +that the event was to be, as the event fell out, and how idle are such +suppositions! Besides, if he had gone; what is there of warning in +a Bargeman lying on his face? + +'A bird flying to the hedge,' was all he thought about it; and came +back, and resumed his walk. + +'If I had not a reliance on her being truthful,' said Eugene, after +taking some half-dozen turns, 'I should begin to think she had +given me the slip for the second time. But she promised, and she +is a girl of her word.' + +Turning again at the water-lilies, he saw her coming, and advanced +to meet her. + +'I was saying to myself, Lizzie, that you were sure to come, though +you were late.' + +'I had to linger through the village as if I had no object before me, +and I had to speak to several people in passing along, Mr +Wrayburn.' + +'Are the lads of the village--and the ladies--such scandal-mongers?' +he asked, as he took her hand and drew it through his arm. + +She submitted to walk slowly on, with downcast eyes. He put her +hand to his lips, and she quietly drew it away. + +'Will you walk beside me, Mr Wrayburn, and not touch me?' For, +his arm was already stealing round her waist. + +She stopped again, and gave him an earnest supplicating look. +'Well, Lizzie, well!' said he, in an easy way though ill at ease with +himself 'don't be unhappy, don't be reproachful.' + +'I cannot help being unhappy, but I do not mean to be reproachful. +Mr Wrayburn, I implore you to go away from this neighbourhood, +to-morrow morning.' + +'Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie!' he remonstrated. 'As well be reproachful as +wholly unreasonable. I can't go away.' + +'Why not?' + +'Faith!' said Eugene in his airily candid manner. 'Because you +won't let me. Mind! I don't mean to be reproachful either. I don't +complain that you design to keep me here. But you do it, you do +it.' + +'Will you walk beside me, and not touch me;' for, his arm was +coming about her again; 'while I speak to you very seriously, Mr +Wrayburn?' + +'I will do anything within the limits of possibility, for you, Lizzie,' +he answered with pleasant gaiety as he folded his arms. 'See here! +Napoleon Buonaparte at St Helena.' + +'When you spoke to me as I came from the Mill the night before +last,' said Lizzie, fixing her eyes upon him with the look of +supplication which troubled his better nature, 'you told me that you +were much surprised to see me, and that you were on a solitary +fishing excursion. Was it true?' + +'It was not,' replied Eugene composedly, 'in the least true. I came +here, because I had information that I should find you here.' + +'Can you imagine why I left London, Mr Wrayburn?' + +'I am afraid, Lizzie,' he openly answered, 'that you left London to +get rid of me. It is not flattering to my self-love, but I am afraid +you did.' + +'I did.' + +'How could you be so cruel?' + +'O Mr Wrayburn,' she answered, suddenly breaking into tears, 'is +the cruelty on my side! O Mr Wrayburn, Mr Wrayburn, is there no +cruelty in your being here to-night!' + +'In the name of all that's good--and that is not conjuring you in my +own name, for Heaven knows I am not good'--said Eugene, 'don't +be distressed!' + +'What else can I be, when I know the distance and the difference +between us? What else can I be, when to tell me why you came +here, is to put me to shame!' said Lizzie, covering her face. + +He looked at her with a real sentiment of remorseful tenderness +and pity. It was not strong enough to impell him to sacrifice +himself and spare her, but it was a strong emotion. + +'Lizzie! I never thought before, that there was a woman in the +world who could affect me so much by saying so little. But don't +be hard in your construction of me. You don't know what my state +of mind towards you is. You don't know how you haunt me and +bewilder me. You don't know how the cursed carelessness that is +over-officious in helping me at every other turning of my life, +WON'T help me here. You have struck it dead, I think, and I +sometimes almost wish you had struck me dead along with it.' + +She had not been prepared for such passionate expressions, and +they awakened some natural sparks of feminine pride and joy in +her breast. To consider, wrong as he was, that he could care so +much for her, and that she had the power to move him so! + +'It grieves you to see me distressed, Mr Wrayburn; it grieves me to +see you distressed. I don't reproach you. Indeed I don't reproach +you. You have not felt this as I feel it, being so different from me, +and beginning from another point of view. You have not thought. +But I entreat you to think now, think now!' + +'What am I to think of?' asked Eugene, bitterly. + +'Think of me.' + +'Tell me how NOT to think of you, Lizzie, and you'll change me +altogether.' + +'I don't mean in that way. Think of me, as belonging to another +station, and quite cut off from you in honour. Remember that I +have no protector near me, unless I have one in your noble heart. +Respect my good name. If you feel towards me, in one particular, +as you might if I was a lady, give me the full claims of a lady upon +your generous behaviour. I am removed from you and your family +by being a working girl. How true a gentleman to be as +considerate of me as if I was removed by being a Queen!' + +He would have been base indeed to have stood untouched by her +appeal. His face expressed contrition and indecision as he asked: + +'Have I injured you so much, Lizzie?' + +'No, no. You may set me quite right. I don't speak of the past, Mr +Wrayburn, but of the present and the future. Are we not here now, +because through two days you have followed me so closely where +there are so many eyes to see you, that I consented to this +appointment as an escape?' + +'Again, not very flattering to my self-love,' said Eugene, moodily; +'but yes. Yes. Yes.' + +'Then I beseech you, Mr Wrayburn, I beg and pray you, leave this +neighbourhood. If you do not, consider to what you will drive me.' + +He did consider within himself for a moment or two, and then +retorted, 'Drive you? To what shall I drive you, Lizzie?' + +'You will drive me away. I live here peacefully and respected, and +I am well employed here. You will force me to quit this place as I +quitted London, and--by following me again--will force me to quit +the next place in which I may find refuge, as I quitted this.' + +'Are you so determined, Lizzie--forgive the word I am going to use, +for its literal truth--to fly from a lover?' + +'I am so determined,' she answered resolutely, though trembling, 'to +fly from such a lover. There was a poor woman died here but a +little while ago, scores of years older than I am, whom I found by +chance, lying on the wet earth. You may have heard some account +of her?' + +'I think I have,' he answered, 'if her name was Higden.' + +'Her name was Higden. Though she was so weak and old, she +kept true to one purpose to the very last. Even at the very last, she +made me promise that her purpose should be kept to, after she was +dead, so settled was her determination. What she did, I can do. +Mr Wrayburn, if I believed--but I do not believe--that you could be +so cruel to me as to drive me from place to place to wear me out, +you should drive me to death and not do it.' + +He looked full at her handsome face, and in his own handsome +face there was a light of blended admiration, anger, and reproach, +which she--who loved him so in secret whose heart had long been +so full, and he the cause of its overflowing--drooped before. She +tried hard to retain her firmness, but he saw it melting away under +his eyes. In the moment of its dissolution, and of his first full +knowledge of his influence upon her, she dropped, and he caught +her on his arm. + +'Lizzie! Rest so a moment. Answer what I ask you. If I had not +been what you call removed from you and cut off from you, would +you have made this appeal to me to leave you?' + +'I don't know, I don't know. Don't ask me, Mr Wrayburn. Let me +go back.' + +'I swear to you, Lizzie, you shall go directly. I swear to you, you +shall go alone. I'll not accompany you, I'll not follow you, if you +will reply.' + +'How can I, Mr Wrayburn? How can I tell you what I should have +done, if you had not been what you are?' + +'If I had not been what you make me out to be,' he struck in, +skilfully changing the form of words, 'would you still have hated +me?' + +'O Mr Wrayburn,' she replied appealingly, and weeping, 'you +know me better than to think I do!' + +'If I had not been what you make me out to be, Lizzie, would you +still have been indifferent to me?' + +'O Mr Wrayburn,' she answered as before, 'you know me better +than that too!' + +There was something in the attitude of her whole figure as he +supported it, and she hung her head, which besought him to be +merciful and not force her to disclose her heart. He was not +merciful with her, and he made her do it. + +'If I know you better than quite to believe (unfortunate dog though I +am!) that you hate me, or even that you are wholly indifferent to +me, Lizzie, let me know so much more from yourself before we +separate. Let me know how you would have dealt with me if you +had regarded me as being what you would have considered on +equal terms with you.' + +'It is impossible, Mr Wrayburn. How can I think of you as being +on equal terms with me? If my mind could put you on equal terms +with me, you could not be yourself. How could I remember, then, +the night when I first saw you, and when I went out of the room +because you looked at me so attentively? Or, the night that passed +into the morning when you broke to me that my father was dead? +Or, the nights when you used to come to see me at my next home? +Or, your having known how uninstructed I was, and having caused +me to be taught better? Or, my having so looked up to you and +wondered at you, and at first thought you so good to be at all +mindful of me?' + +'Only "at first" thought me so good, Lizzie? What did you think +me after "at first"? So bad?' + +'I don't say that. I don't mean that. But after the first wonder and +pleasure of being noticed by one so different from any one who had +ever spoken to me, I began to feel that it might have been better if I +had never seen you.' + +'Why?' + +'Because you WERE so different,' she answered in a lower voice. +'Because it was so endless, so hopeless. Spare me!' + +'Did you think for me at all, Lizzie?' he asked, as if he were a little +stung. + +'Not much, Mr Wrayburn. Not much until to-night.' + +'Will you tell me why?' + +'I never supposed until to-night that you needed to be thought for. +But if you do need to be; if you do truly feel at heart that you have +indeed been towards me what you have called yourself to-night, +and that there is nothing for us in this life but separation; then +Heaven help you, and Heaven bless you!' + +The purity with which in these words she expressed something of +her own love and her own suffering, made a deep impression on +him for the passing time. He held her, almost as if she were +sanctified to him by death, and kissed her, once, almost as he +might have kissed the dead. + +'I promised that I would not accompany you, nor follow you. Shall +I keep you in view? You have been agitated, and it's growing +dark.' + +'I am used to be out alone at this hour, and I entreat you not to do +so.' + +'I promise. I can bring myself to promise nothing more tonight, +Lizzie, except that I will try what I can do.' + +'There is but one means, Mr Wrayburn, of sparing yourself and of +sparing me, every way. Leave this neighbourhood to-morrow +morning.' + +'I will try.' + +As he spoke the words in a grave voice, she put her hand in his, +removed it, and went away by the river-side. + +'Now, could Mortimer believe this?' murmured Eugene, still +remaining, after a while, where she had left him. 'Can I even +believe it myself?' + +He referred to the circumstance that there were tears upon his +hand, as he stood covering his eyes. 'A most ridiculous position +this, to be found out in!' was his next thought. And his next struck +its root in a little rising resentment against the cause of the tears. + +'Yet I have gained a wonderful power over her, too, let her be as +much in earnest as she will!' + +The reflection brought back the yielding of her face and form as +she had drooped under his gaze. Contemplating the reproduction, +he seemed to see, for the second time, in the appeal and in the +confession of weakness, a little fear. + +'And she loves me. And so earnest a character must be very +earnest in that passion. She cannot choose for herself to be strong +in this fancy, wavering in that, and weak in the other. She must go +through with her nature, as I must go through with mine. If mine +exacts its pains and penalties all round, so must hers, I suppose.' + +Pursuing the inquiry into his own nature, he thought, 'Now, if I +married her. If, outfacing the absurdity of the situation in +correspondence with M. R. F., I astonished M. R. F. to the utmost +extent of his respected powers, by informing him that I had +married her, how would M. R. F. reason with the legal mind? +"You wouldn't marry for some money and some station, because +you were frightfully likely to become bored. Are you less +frightfully likely to become bored, marrying for no money and no +station? Are you sure of yourself?" Legal mind, in spite of +forensic protestations, must secretly admit, "Good reasoning on +the part of M. R. F. NOT sure of myself."' + +In the very act of calling this tone of levity to his aid, he felt it to be +profligate and worthless, and asserted her against it. + +'And yet,' said Eugene, 'I should like to see the fellow (Mortimer +excepted) who would undertake to tell me that this was not a real +sentiment on my part, won out of me by her beauty and her worth, +in spite of myself, and that I would not be true to her. I should +particularly like to see the fellow to-night who would tell me so, or +who would tell me anything that could be construed to her +disadvantage; for I am wearily out of sorts with one Wrayburn who +cuts a sorry figure, and I would far rather be out of sorts with +somebody else. "Eugene, Eugene, Eugene, this is a bad business." +Ah! So go the Mortimer Lightwood bells, and they sound +melancholy to-night.' + +Strolling on, he thought of something else to take himself to task +for. 'Where is the analogy, Brute Beast,' he said impatiently, +'between a woman whom your father coolly finds out for you and a +woman whom you have found out for yourself, and have ever +drifted after with more and more of constancy since you first set +eyes upon her? Ass! Can you reason no better than that?' + +But, again he subsided into a reminiscence of his first full +knowledge of his power just now, and of her disclosure of her +heart. To try no more to go away, and to try her again, was the +reckless conclusion it turned uppermost. And yet again, 'Eugene, +Eugene, Eugene, this is a bad business!' And, 'I wish I could stop +the Lightwood peal, for it sounds like a knell.' + +Looking above, he found that the young moon was up, and that the +stars were beginning to shine in the sky from which the tones of +red and yellow were flickering out, in favour of the calm blue of a +summer night. He was still by the river-side. Turning suddenly, +he met a man, so close upon him that Eugene, surprised, stepped +back, to avoid a collision. The man carried something over his +shoulder which might have been a broken oar, or spar, or bar, and +took no notice of him, but passed on. + +'Halloa, friend!' said Eugene, calling after him, 'are you blind?' + +The man made no reply, but went his way. + +Eugene Wrayburn went the opposite way, with his hands behind +him and his purpose in his thoughts. He passed the sheep, and +passed the gate, and came within hearing of the village sounds, +and came to the bridge. The inn where he stayed, like the village +and the mill, was not across the river, but on that side of the stream +on which he walked. However, knowing the rushy bank and the +backwater on the other side to be a retired place, and feeling out of +humour for noise or company, he crossed the bridge, and sauntered +on: looking up at the stars as they seemed one by one to be kindled +in the sky, and looking down at the river as the same stars seemed +to be kindled deep in the water. A landing-place overshadowed by +a willow, and a pleasure-boat lying moored there among some +stakes, caught his eye as he passed along. The spot was in such +dark shadow, that he paused to make out what was there, and then +passed on again. + +The rippling of the river seemed to cause a correspondent stir in his +uneasy reflections. He would have laid them asleep if he could, +but they were in movement, like the stream, and all tending one +way with a strong current. As the ripple under the moon broke +unexpectedly now and then, and palely flashed in a new shape and +with a new sound, so parts of his thoughts started, unbidden, from +the rest, and revealed their wickedness. 'Out of the question to +marry her,' said Eugene, 'and out of the question to leave her. The +crisis!' + +He had sauntered far enough. Before turning to retrace his steps, +he stopped upon the margin, to look down at the reflected night. In +an instant, with a dreadful crash, the reflected night turned +crooked, flames shot jaggedly across the air, and the moon and +stars came bursting from the sky. + +Was he struck by lightning? With some incoherent half-formed +thought to that effect, he turned under the blows that were blinding +him and mashing his life, and closed with a murderer, whom he +caught by a red neckerchief--unless the raining down of his own +blood gave it that hue. + +Eugene was light, active, and expert; but his arms were broken, or +he was paralysed, and could do no more than hang on to the man, +with his head swung back, so that he could see nothing but the +heaving sky. After dragging at the assailant, he fell on the bank +with him, and then there was another great crash, and then a +splash, and all was done. + +Lizzie Hexam, too, had avoided the noise, and the Saturday +movement of people in the straggling street, and chose to walk +alone by the water until her tears should be dry, and she could so +compose herself as to escape remark upon her looking ill or +unhappy on going home. The peaceful serenity of the hour and +place, having no reproaches or evil intentions within her breast to +contend against, sank healingly into its depths. She had meditated +and taken comfort. She, too, was turning homeward, when she +heard a strange sound. + +It startled her, for it was like a sound of blows. She stood still, and +listened. It sickened her, for blows fell heavily and cruelly on the +quiet of the night. As she listened, undecided, all was silent. As +she yet listened, she heard a faint groan, and a fall into the river. + +Her old bold life and habit instantly inspired her. Without vain +waste of breath in crying for help where there were none to hear, +she ran towards the spot from which the sounds had come. It lay +between her and the bridge, but it was more removed from her than +she had thought; the night being so very quiet, and sound +travelling far with the help of water. + +At length, she reached a part of the green bank, much and newly +trodden, where there lay some broken splintered pieces of wood +and some torn fragments of clothes. Stooping, she saw that the +grass was bloody. Following the drops and smears, she saw that +the watery margin of the bank was bloody. Following the current +with her eyes, she saw a bloody face turned up towards the moon, +and drifting away. + +Now, merciful Heaven be thanked for that old time, and grant, O +Blessed Lord, that through thy wonderful workings it may turn to +good at last! To whomsoever the drifting face belongs, be it man's +or woman's, help my humble hands, Lord God, to raise it from +death and restore it to some one to whom it must be dear! + +It was thought, fervently thought, but not for a moment did the +prayer check her. She was away before it welled up in her mind, +away, swift and true, yet steady above all--for without steadiness it +could never be done--to the landing-place under the willow-tree, +where she also had seen the boat lying moored among the stakes. + +A sure touch of her old practised hand, a sure step of her old +practised foot, a sure light balance of her body, and she was in the +boat. A quick glance of her practised eye showed her, even +through the deep dark shadow, the sculls in a rack against the red- +brick garden-wall. Another moment, and she had cast off (taking +the line with her), and the boat had shot out into the moonlight, +and she was rowing down the stream as never other woman rowed +on English water. + +Intently over her shoulder, without slackening speed, she looked +ahead for the driving face. She passed the scene of the struggle-- +yonder it was, on her left, well over the boat's stern--she passed on +her right, the end of the village street, a hilly street that almost +dipped into the river; its sounds were growing faint again, and she +slackened; looking as the boat drove, everywhere, everywhere, for +the floating face. + +She merely kept the boat before the stream now, and rested on her +oars, knowing well that if the face were not soon visible, it had +gone down, and she would overshoot it. An untrained sight would +never have seen by the moonlight what she saw at the length of a +few strokes astern. She saw the drowning figure rise to the +surface, slightly struggle, and as if by instinct turn over on its back +to float. Just so had she first dimly seen the face which she now +dimly saw again. + +Firm of look and firm of purpose, she intently watched its coming +on, until it was very near; then, with a touch unshipped her sculls, +and crept aft in the boat, between kneeling and crouching. Once, +she let the body evade her, not being sure of her grasp. Twice, and +she had seized it by its bloody hair. + +It was insensible, if not virtually dead; it was mutilated, and +streaked the water all about it with dark red streaks. As it could +not help itself, it was impossible for her to get it on board. She +bent over the stern to secure it with the line, and then the river and +its shores rang to the terrible cry she uttered. + +But, as if possessed by supernatural spirit and strength, she lashed +it safe, resumed her seat, and rowed in, desperately, for the nearest +shallow water where she might run the boat aground. Desperately, +but not wildly, for she knew that if she lost distinctness of +intention, all was lost and gone. + +She ran the boat ashore, went into the water, released him from the +line, and by main strength lifted him in her arms and laid him in +the bottom of the boat. He had fearful wounds upon him, and she +bound them up with her dress torn into strips. Else, supposing him +to be still alive, she foresaw that he must bleed to death before he +could be landed at his inn, which was the nearest place for +succour. + +This done very rapidly, she kissed his disfigured forehead, looked +up in anguish to the stars, and blessed him and forgave him, 'if +she had anything to forgive.' It was only in that instant that she +thought of herself, and then she thought of herself only for him. + +Now, merciful Heaven be thanked for that old time, enabling me, +without a wasted moment, to have got the boat afloat again, and to +row back against the stream! And grant, O Blessed Lord God, that +through poor me he may be raised from death, and preserved to +some one else to whom he may be dear one day, though never +dearer than to me! + +She rowed hard--rowed desperately, but never wildly--and seldom +removed her eyes from him in the bottom of the boat. She had so +laid him there, as that she might see his disfigured face; it was so +much disfigured that his mother might have covered it, but it was +above and beyond disfigurement in her eyes. + +The boat touched the edge of the patch of inn lawn, sloping gently +to the water. There were lights in the windows, but there chanced +to be no one out of doors. She made the boat fast, and again by +main strength took him up, and never laid him down until she laid +him down in the house. + +Surgeons were sent for, and she sat supporting his head. She had +oftentimes heard in days that were gone, how doctors would lift the +hand of an insensible wounded person, and would drop it if the +person were dead. She waited for the awful moment when the +doctors might lift this hand, all broken and bruised, and let it fall. + +The first of the surgeons came, and asked, before proceeding to his +examination, 'Who brought him in?' + +'I brought him in, sir,' answered Lizzie, at whom all present +looked. + +'You, my dear? You could not lift, far less carry, this weight.' + +'I think I could not, at another time, sir; but I am sure I did.' + +The surgeon looked at her with great attention, and with some +compassion. Having with a grave face touched the wounds upon +the head, and the broken arms, he took the hand. + +O! would he let it drop? + +He appeared irresolute. He did not retain it, but laid it gently +down, took a candle, looked more closely at the injuries on the +head, and at the pupils of the eyes. That done, he replaced the +candle and took the hand again. Another surgeon then coming in, +the two exchanged a whisper, and the second took the hand. +Neither did he let it fall at once, but kept it for a while and laid it +gently down. + +'Attend to the poor girl,' said the first surgeon then. 'She is quite +unconscious. She sees nothing and hears nothing. All the better +for her! Don't rouse her, if you can help it; only move her. Poor +girl, poor girl! She must be amazingly strong of heart, but it is +much to be feared that she has set her heart upon the dead. Be +gentle with her.' + + + +Chapter 7 + +BETTER TO BE ABEL THAN CAIN + + +Day was breaking at Plashwater Weir Mill Lock. Stars were yet +visible, but there was dull light in the east that was not the light of +night. The moon had gone down, and a mist crept along the banks +of the river, seen through which the trees were the ghosts of trees, +and the water was the ghost of water. This earth looked spectral, +and so did the pale stars: while the cold eastern glare, +expressionless as to heat or colour, with the eye of the firmament +quenched, might have been likened to the stare of the dead. + +Perhaps it was so likened by the lonely Bargeman, standing on the +brink of the lock. For certain, Bradley Headstone looked that way, +when a chill air came up, and when it passed on murmuring, as if +it whispered something that made the phantom trees and water +tremble--or threaten--for fancy might have made it either. + +He turned away, and tried the Lock-house door. It was fastened on +the inside. + +'Is he afraid of me?' he muttered, knocking. + +Rogue Riderhood was soon roused, and soon undrew the bolt and +let him in. + +'Why, T'otherest, I thought you had been and got lost! Two nights +away! I a'most believed as you'd giv' me the slip, and I had as +good as half a mind for to advertise you in the newspapers to come +for'ard.' + +Bradley's face turned so dark on this hint, that Riderhood deemed +it expedient to soften it into a compliment. + +'But not you, governor, not you,' he went on, stolidly shaking his +head. 'For what did I say to myself arter having amused myself +with that there stretch of a comic idea, as a sort of a playful game? +Why, I says to myself; "He's a man o' honour." That's what I says +to myself. "He's a man o' double honour."' + +Very remarkably, Riderhood put no question to him. He had +looked at him on opening the door, and he now looked at him +again (stealthily this time), and the result of his looking was, that +he asked him no question. + +'You'll be for another forty on 'em, governor, as I judges, afore you +turns your mind to breakfast,' said Riderhood, when his visitor sat +down, resting his chin on his hand, with his eyes on the ground. +And very remarkably again: Riderhood feigned to set the scanty +furniture in order, while he spoke, to have a show of reason for not +looking at him. + +'Yes. I had better sleep, I think,' said Bradley, without changing +his position. + +'I myself should recommend it, governor,' assented Riderhood. +'Might you be anyways dry?' + +'Yes. I should like a drink,' said Bradley; but without appearing to +attend much. + +Mr Riderhood got out his bottle, and fetched his jug-full of water, +and administered a potation. Then, he shook the coverlet of his +bed and spread it smooth, and Bradley stretched himself upon it in +the clothes he wore. Mr Riderhood poetically remarking that he +would pick the bones of his night's rest, in his wooden chair, sat in +the window as before; but, as before, watched the sleeper narrowly +until he was very sound asleep. Then, he rose and looked at him +close, in the bright daylight, on every side, with great minuteness. +He went out to his Lock to sum up what he had seen. + +'One of his sleeves is tore right away below the elber, and the +t'other's had a good rip at the shoulder. He's been hung on to, +pretty tight, for his shirt's all tore out of the neck-gathers. He's +been in the grass and he's been in the water. And he's spotted, and +I know with what, and with whose. Hooroar!' + +Bradley slept long. Early in the afternoon a barge came down. +Other barges had passed through, both ways, before it; but the +Lock-keeper hailed only this particular barge, for news, as if he +had made a time calculation with some nicety. The men on board +told him a piece of news, and there was a lingering on their part to +enlarge upon it. + +Twelve hours had intervened since Bradley's lying down, when he +got up. 'Not that I swaller it,' said Riderhood, squinting at his +Lock, when he saw Bradley coming out of the house, 'as you've +been a sleeping all the time, old boy!' + +Bradley came to him, sitting on his wooden lever, and asked what +o'clock it was? Riderhood told him it was between two and three. + +'When are you relieved?' asked Bradley. + +'Day arter to-morrow, governor.' + +'Not sooner?' + +'Not a inch sooner, governor.' + +On both sides, importance seemed attached to this question of +relief. Riderhood quite petted his reply; saying a second time, and +prolonging a negative roll of his head, 'n--n--not a inch sooner, +governor.' + +'Did I tell you I was going on to-night?' asked Bradley. + +'No, governor,' returned Riderhood, in a cheerful, affable, and +conversational manner, 'you did not tell me so. But most like you +meant to it and forgot to it. How, otherways, could a doubt have +come into your head about it, governor?' + +'As the sun goes down, I intend to go on,' said Bradley. + +'So much the more necessairy is a Peck,' returned Riderhood. +'Come in and have it, T'otherest.' + +The formality of spreading a tablecloth not being observed in Mr +Riderhood's establishment, the serving of the 'peck' was the affair +of a moment; it merely consisting in the handing down of a +capacious baking dish with three-fourths of an immense meat pie +in it, and the production of two pocket-knives, an earthenware +mug, and a large brown bottle of beer. + +Both ate and drank, but Riderhood much the more abundantly. In +lieu of plates, that honest man cut two triangular pieces from the +thick crust of the pie, and laid them, inside uppermost, upon the +table: the one before himself, and the other before his guest. Upon +these platters he placed two goodly portions of the contents of the +pie, thus imparting the unusual interest to the entertainment that +each partaker scooped out the inside of his plate, and consumed it +with his other fare, besides having the sport of pursuing the clots of +congealed gravy over the plain of the table, and successfully taking +them into his mouth at last from the blade of his knife, in case of +their not first sliding off it. + +Bradley Headstone was so remarkably awkward at these exercises, +that the Rogue observed it. + +'Look out, T'otherest!' he cried, 'you'll cut your hand!' + +But, the caution came too late, for Bradley gashed it at the instant. +And, what was more unlucky, in asking Riderhood to tie it up, and +in standing close to him for the purpose, he shook his hand under +the smart of the wound, and shook blood over Riderhood's dress. + +When dinner was done, and when what remained of the platters +and what remained of the congealed gravy had been put back into +what remained of the pie, which served as an economical +investment for all miscellaneous savings, Riderhood filled the mug +with beer and took a long drink. And now he did look at Bradley, +and with an evil eye. + +'T'otherest!' he said, hoarsely, as he bent across the table to touch +his arm. 'The news has gone down the river afore you.' + +'What news?' + +'Who do you think,' said Riderhood, with a hitch of his head, as if +he disdainfully jerked the feint away, 'picked up the body? Guess.' + +'I am not good at guessing anything.' + +'She did. Hooroar! You had him there agin. She did.' + +The convulsive twitching of Bradley Headstone's face, and the +sudden hot humour that broke out upon it, showed how grimly the +intelligence touched him. But he said not a single word, good or +bad. He only smiled in a lowering manner, and got up and stood +leaning at the window, looking through it. Riderhood followed +him with his eyes. Riderhood cast down his eyes on his own +besprinkled clothes. Riderhood began to have an air of being +better at a guess than Bradley owned to being. + +'I have been so long in want of rest,' said the schoolmaster, 'that +with your leave I'll lie down again.' + +'And welcome, T'otherest!' was the hospitable answer of his host. +He had laid himself down without waiting for it, and he remained +upon the bed until the sun was low. When he arose and came out +to resume his journey, he found his host waiting for him on the +grass by the towing-path outside the door. + +'Whenever it may be necessary that you and I should have any +further communication together,' said Bradley, 'I will come back. +Good-night!' + +'Well, since no better can be,' said Riderhood, turning on his heel, +'Good-night!' But he turned again as the other set forth, and added +under his breath, looking after him with a leer: 'You wouldn't be +let to go like that, if my Relief warn't as good as come. I'll catch +you up in a mile.' + +In a word, his real time of relief being that evening at sunset, his +mate came lounging in, within a quarter of an hour. Not staying to +fill up the utmost margin of his time, but borrowing an hour or so, +to be repaid again when he should relieve his reliever, Riderhood +straightway followed on the track of Bradley Headstone. + +He was a better follower than Bradley. It had been the calling of +his life to slink and skulk and dog and waylay, and he knew his +calling well. He effected such a forced march on leaving the Lock +House that he was close up with him--that is to say, as close up +with him as he deemed it convenient to be--before another Lock +was passed. His man looked back pretty often as he went, but got +no hint of him. HE knew how to take advantage of the ground, +and where to put the hedge between them, and where the wall, and +when to duck, and when to drop, and had a thousand arts beyond +the doomed Bradley's slow conception. + +But, all his arts were brought to a standstill, like himself when +Bradley, turning into a green lane or riding by the river-side--a +solitary spot run wild in nettles, briars, and brambles, and +encumbered with the scathed trunks of a whole hedgerow of felled +trees, on the outskirts of a little wood--began stepping on these +trunks and dropping down among them and stepping on them +again, apparently as a schoolboy might have done, but assuredly +with no schoolboy purpose, or want of purpose. + +'What are you up to?' muttered Riderhood, down in the ditch, and +holding the hedge a little open with both hands. And soon his +actions made a most extraordinary reply. 'By George and the +Draggin!' cried Riderhood, 'if he ain't a going to bathe!' + +He had passed back, on and among the trunks of trees again, and +has passed on to the water-side and had begun undressing on the +grass. For a moment it had a suspicious look of suicide, arranged +to counterfeit accident. 'But you wouldn't have fetched a bundle +under your arm, from among that timber, if such was your game!' +said Riderhood. Nevertheless it was a relief to him when the +bather after a plunge and a few strokes came out. 'For I shouldn't,' +he said in a feeling manner, 'have liked to lose you till I had made +more money out of you neither.' + +Prone in another ditch (he had changed his ditch as his man had +changed his position), and holding apart so small a patch of the +hedge that the sharpest eyes could not have detected him, Rogue +Riderhood watched the bather dressing. And now gradually came +the wonder that he stood up, completely clothed, another man, and +not the Bargeman. + +'Aha!' said Riderhood. 'Much as you was dressed that night. I see. +You're a taking me with you, now. You're deep. But I knows a +deeper.' + +When the bather had finished dressing, he kneeled on the grass, +doing something with his hands, and again stood up with his +bundle under his arm. Looking all around him with great +attention, he then went to the river's edge, and flung it in as far, +and yet as lightly as he could. It was not until he was so decidedly +upon his way again as to be beyond a bend of the river and for the +time out of view, that Riderhood scrambled from the ditch. + +'Now,' was his debate with himself 'shall I foller you on, or shall I +let you loose for this once, and go a fishing?' The debate +continuing, he followed, as a precautionary measure in any case, +and got him again in sight. 'If I was to let you loose this once,' said +Riderhood then, still following, 'I could make you come to me +agin, or I could find you out in one way or another. If I wasn't to +go a fishing, others might.--I'll let you loose this once, and go a +fishing!' With that, he suddenly dropped the pursuit and turned. + +The miserable man whom he had released for the time, but not for +long, went on towards London. Bradley was suspicious of every +sound he heard, and of every face he saw, but was under a spell +which very commonly falls upon the shedder of blood, and had no +suspicion of the real danger that lurked in his life, and would have +it yet. Riderhood was much in his thoughts--had never been out of +his thoughts since the night-adventure of their first meeting; but +Riderhood occupied a very different place there, from the place of +pursuer; and Bradley had been at the pains of devising so many +means of fitting that place to him, and of wedging him into it, that +his mind could not compass the possibility of his occupying any +other. And this is another spell against which the shedder of blood +for ever strives in vain. There are fifty doors by which discovery +may enter. With infinite pains and cunning, he double locks and +bars forty-nine of them, and cannot see the fiftieth standing wide +open. + +Now, too, was he cursed with a state of mind more wearing and +more wearisome than remorse. He had no remorse; but the +evildoer who can hold that avenger at bay, cannot escape the +slower torture of incessantly doing the evil deed again and doing it +more efficiently. In the defensive declarations and pretended +confessions of murderers, the pursuing shadow of this torture may +be traced through every lie they tell. If I had done it as alleged, is +it conceivable that I would have made this and this mistake? If I +had done it as alleged, should I have left that unguarded place +which that false and wicked witness against me so infamously +deposed to? The state of that wretch who continually finds the +weak spots in his own crime, and strives to strengthen them when +it is unchangeable, is a state that aggravates the offence by doing +the deed a thousand times instead of once; but it is a state, too, that +tauntingly visits the offence upon a sullen unrepentant nature with +its heaviest punishment every time. + +Bradley toiled on, chained heavily to the idea of his hatred and his +vengeance, and thinking how he might have satiated both in many +better ways than the way he had taken. The instrument might have +been better, the spot and the hour might have been better chosen. +To batter a man down from behind in the dark, on the brink of a +river, was well enough, but he ought to have been instantly +disabled, whereas he had turned and seized his assailant; and so, to +end it before chance-help came, and to be rid of him, he had been +hurriedly thrown backward into the river before the life was fully +beaten out of him. Now if it could be done again, it must not be so +done. Supposing his head had been held down under water for a +while. Supposing the first blow had been truer. Supposing he had +been shot. Supposing he had been strangled. Suppose this way, +that way, the other way. Suppose anything but getting unchained +from the one idea, for that was inexorably impossible. + +The school reopened next day. The scholars saw little or no +change in their master's face, for it always wore its slowly +labouring expression. But, as he heard his classes, he was always +doing the deed and doing it better. As he paused with his piece of +chalk at the black board before writing on it, he was thinking of the +spot, and whether the water was not deeper and the fall straighter, +a little higher up, or a little lower down. He had half a mind to +draw a line or two upon the board, and show himself what he +meant. He was doing it again and improving on the manner, at +prayers, in his mental arithmetic, all through his questioning, all +through the day. + +Charley Hexam was a master now, in another school, under +another head. It was evening, and Bradley was walking in his +garden observed from behind a blind by gentle little Miss Peecher, +who contemplated offering him a loan of her smelling salts for +headache, when Mary Anne, in faithful attendance, held up her +arm. + +'Yes, Mary Anne?' + +'Young Mr Hexam, if you please, ma'am, coming to see Mr +Headstone.' + +'Very good, Mary Anne.' + +Again Mary Anne held up her arm. + +'You may speak, Mary Anne?' + +'Mr Headstone has beckoned young Mr Hexam into his house, +ma'am, and he has gone in himself without waiting for young Mr +Hexam to come up, and now HE has gone in too, ma'am, and has +shut the door.' + +'With all my heart, Mary Anne.' + +Again Mary Anne's telegraphic arm worked. + +'What more, Mary Anne?' + +'They must find it rather dull and dark, Miss Peecher, for the +parlour blind's down, and neither of them pulls it up.' + +'There is no accounting,' said good Miss Peecher with a little sad +sigh which she repressed by laying her hand on her neat +methodical boddice, 'there is no accounting for tastes, Mary Anne.' + +Charley, entering the dark room, stopped short when he saw his +old friend in its yellow shade. + +'Come in, Hexam, come in.' + +Charley advanced to take the hand that was held out to him; but +stopped again, short of it. The heavy, bloodshot eyes of the +schoolmaster, rising to his face with an effort, met his look of +scrutiny. + +'Mr Headstone, what's the matter?' + +'Matter? Where?' + +'Mr Headstone, have you heard the news? This news about the +fellow, Mr Eugene Wrayburn? That he is killed?' + +'He is dead, then!' exclaimed Bradley. + +Young Hexam standing looking at him, he moistened his lips with +his tongue, looked about the room, glanced at his former pupil, and +looked down. 'I heard of the outrage,' said Bradley, trying to +constrain his working mouth, 'but I had not heard the end of it.' + +'Where were you,' said the boy, advancing a step as he lowered his +voice, 'when it was done? Stop! I don't ask that. Don't tell me. If +you force your confidence upon me, Mr Headstone, I'll give up +every word of it. Mind! Take notice. I'll give up it, and I'll give +up you. I will!' + +The wretched creature seemed to suffer acutely under this +renunciation. A desolate air of utter and complete loneliness fell +upon him, like a visible shade. + +'It's for me to speak, not you,' said the boy. 'If you do, you'll do it at +your peril. I am going to put your selfishness before you, Mr +Headstone--your passionate, violent, and ungovernable selfishness +--to show you why I can, and why I will, have nothing more to do +with you.' + +He looked at young Hexam as if he were waiting for a scholar to go +on with a lesson that he knew by heart and was deadly tired of. +But he had said his last word to him. + +'If you had any part--I don't say what--in this attack,' pursued the +boy; 'or if you know anything about it--I don't say how much--or if +you know who did it--I go no closer--you did an injury to me that's +never to be forgiven. You know that I took you with me to his +chambers in the Temple when I told him my opinion of him, and +made myself responsible for my opinion of you. You know that I +took you with me when I was watching him with a view to +recovering my sister and bringing her to her senses; you know that +I have allowed myself to be mixed up with you, all through this +business, in favouring your desire to marry my sister. And how do +you know that, pursuing the ends of your own violent temper, you +have not laid me open to suspicion? Is that your gratitude to me, +Mr Headstone?' + +Bradley sat looking steadily before him at the vacant air. As often +as young Hexam stopped, he turned his eyes towards him, as if he +were waiting for him to go on with the lesson, and get it done. As +often as the boy resumed, Bradley resumed his fixed face. + +'I am going to be plain with you, Mr Headstone,' said young +Hexam, shaking his head in a half-threatening manner, 'because +this is no time for affecting not to know things that I do know-- +except certain things at which it might not be very safe for you, to +hint again. What I mean is this: if you were a good master, I was a +good pupil. I have done you plenty of credit, and in improving my +own reputation I have improved yours quite as much. Very well +then. Starting on equal terms, I want to put before you how you +have shown your gratitude to me, for doing all I could to further +your wishes with reference to my sister. You have compromised +me by being seen about with me, endeavouring to counteract this +Mr Eugene Wrayburn. That's the first thing you have done. If my +character, and my now dropping you, help me out of that, Mr +Headstone, the deliverance is to be attributed to me, and not to you. +No thanks to you for it!' + +The boy stopping again, he moved his eyes again. + +'I am going on, Mr Headstone, don't you be afraid. I am going on +to the end, and I have told you beforehand what the end is. Now, +you know my story. You are as well aware as I am, that I have had +many disadvantages to leave behind me in life. You have heard +me mention my father, and you are sufficiently acquainted with the +fact that the home from which I, as I may say, escaped, might have +been a more creditable one than it was. My father died, and then it +might have been supposed that my way to respectability was pretty +clear. No. For then my sister begins.' + +He spoke as confidently, and with as entire an absence of any tell- +tale colour in his cheek, as if there were no softening old time +behind him. Not wonderful, for there WAS none in his hollow +empty heart. What is there but self, for selfishness to see behind +it? + +'When I speak of my sister, I devoutly wish that you had never seen +her, Mr Headstone. However, you did see her, and that's useless +now. I confided in you about her. I explained her character to you, +and how she interposed some ridiculous fanciful notions in the +way of our being as respectable as I tried for. You fell in love with +her, and I favoured you with all my might. She could not be +induced to favour you, and so we came into collision with this Mr +Eugene Wrayburn. Now, what have you done? Why, you have +justified my sister in being firmly set against you from first to last, +and you have put me in the wrong again! And why have you done +it? Because, Mr Headstone, you are in all your passions so selfish, +and so concentrated upon yourself that you have not bestowed one +proper thought on me.' + +The cool conviction with which the boy took up and held his +position, could have been derived from no other vice in human +nature. + +'It is,' he went on, actually with tears, 'an extraordinary +circumstance attendant on my life, that every effort I make towards +perfect respectability, is impeded by somebody else through no +fault of mine! Not content with doing what I have put before you, +you will drag my name into notoriety through dragging my sister's +--which you are pretty sure to do, if my suspicions have any +foundation at all--and the worse you prove to be, the harder it will +be for me to detach myself from being associated with you in +people's minds.' + +When he had dried his eyes and heaved a sob over his injuries, he +began moving towards the door. + +'However, I have made up my mind that I will become respectable +in the scale of society, and that I will not be dragged down by +others. I have done with my sister as well as with you. Since she +cares so little for me as to care nothing for undermining my +respectability, she shall go her way and I will go mine. My +prospects are very good, and I mean to follow them alone. Mr +Headstone, I don't say what you have got upon your conscience, for +I don't know. Whatever lies upon it, I hope you will see the justice +of keeping wide and clear of me, and will find a consolation in +completely exonerating all but yourself. I hope, before many years +are out, to succeed the master in my present school, and the +mistress being a single woman, though some years older than I am, +I might even marry her. If it is any comfort to you to know what +plans I may work out by keeping myself strictly respectable in the +scale of society, these are the plans at present occurring to me. In +conclusion, if you feel a sense of having injured me, and a desire to +make some small reparation, I hope you will think how respectable +you might have been yourself and will contemplate your blighted +existence.' + +Was it strange that the wretched man should take this heavily to +heart? Perhaps he had taken the boy to heart, first, through some +long laborious years; perhaps through the same years he had found +his drudgery lightened by communication with a brighter and more +apprehensive spirit than his own; perhaps a family resemblance of +face and voice between the boy and his sister, smote him hard in +the gloom of his fallen state. For whichsoever reason, or for all, he +drooped his devoted head when the boy was gone, and shrank +together on the floor, and grovelled there, with the palms of his +hands tight-clasping his hot temples, in unutterable misery, and +unrelieved by a single tear. + + +Rogue Riderhood had been busy with the river that day. He had +fished with assiduity on the previous evening, but the light was +short, and he had fished unsuccessfully. He had fished again that +day with better luck, and had carried his fish home to Plashwater +Weir Mill Lock-house, in a bundle. + + + +Chapter 8 + +A FEW GRAINS OF PEPPER + + +The dolls' dressmaker went no more to the business-premises of +Pubsey and Co. in St Mary Axe, after chance had disclosed to her +(as she supposed) the flinty and hypocritical character of Mr Riah. +She often moralized over her work on the tricks and the manners of +that venerable cheat, but made her little purchases elsewhere, and +lived a secluded life. After much consultation with herself, she +decided not to put Lizzie Hexam on her guard against the old man, +arguing that the disappointment of finding him out would come +upon her quite soon enough. Therefore, in her communication +with her friend by letter, she was silent on this theme, and +principally dilated on the backslidings of her bad child, who every +day grew worse and worse. + +'You wicked old boy,' Miss Wren would say to him, with a +menacing forefinger, 'you'll force me to run away from you, after +all, you will; and then you'll shake to bits, and there'll be nobody to +pick up the pieces!' + +At this foreshadowing of a desolate decease, the wicked old boy +would whine and whimper, and would sit shaking himself into the +lowest of low spirits, until such time as he could shake himself out +of the house and shake another threepennyworth into himself. But +dead drunk or dead sober (he had come to such a pass that he was +least alive in the latter state), it was always on the conscience of +the paralytic scarecrow that he had betrayed his sharp parent for +sixty threepennyworths of rum, which were all gone, and that her +sharpness would infallibly detect his having done it, sooner or +later. All things considered therefore, and addition made of the +state of his body to the state of his mind, the bed on which Mr +Dolls reposed was a bed of roses from which the flowers and +leaves had entirely faded, leaving him to lie upon the thorns and +stalks. + +On a certain day, Miss Wren was alone at her work, with the +house-door set open for coolness, and was trolling in a small sweet +voice a mournful little song which might have been the song of the +doll she was dressing, bemoaning the brittleness and meltability of +wax, when whom should she descry standing on the pavement, +looking in at her, but Mr Fledgeby. + +'I thought it was you?' said Fledgeby, coming up the two steps. + +'Did you?' Miss Wren retorted. 'And I thought it was you, young +man. Quite a coincidence. You're not mistaken, and I'm not +mistaken. How clever we are!' + +'Well, and how are you?' said Fledgeby. + +'I am pretty much as usual, sir,' replied Miss Wren. 'A very +unfortunate parent, worried out of my life and senses by a very bad +child.' + +Fledgeby's small eyes opened so wide that they might have passed +for ordinary-sized eyes, as he stared about him for the very young +person whom he supposed to be in question. + +'But you're not a parent,' said Miss Wren, 'and consequently it's of +no use talking to you upon a family subject.--To what am I to +attribute the honour and favour?' + +'To a wish to improve your acquaintance,' Mr Fledgeby replied. + +Miss Wren, stopping to bite her thread, looked at him very +knowingly. + +'We never meet now,' said Fledgeby; 'do we?' + +'No,' said Miss Wren, chopping off the word. + +'So I had a mind,' pursued Fledgeby, 'to come and have a talk with +you about our dodging friend, the child of Israel.' + +'So HE gave you my address; did he?' asked Miss Wren. + +'I got it out of him,' said Fledgeby, with a stammer. + +'You seem to see a good deal of him,' remarked Miss Wren, with +shrewd distrust. 'A good deal of him you seem to see, considering.' + +'Yes, I do,' said Fledgeby. 'Considering.' + +'Haven't you,' inquired the dressmaker, bending over the doll on +which her art was being exercised, 'done interceding with him yet?' + +'No,' said Fledgeby, shaking his head. + +'La! Been interceding with him all this time, and sticking to him +still?' said Miss Wren, busy with her work. + +'Sticking to him is the word,' said Fledgeby. + +Miss Wren pursued her occupation with a concentrated air, and +asked, after an interval of silent industry: + +'Are you in the army?' + +'Not exactly,' said Fledgeby, rather flattered by the question. + +'Navy?' asked Miss Wren. + +'N--no,' said Fledgeby. He qualified these two negatives, as if he +were not absolutely in either service, but was almost in both. + +'What are you then?' demanded Miss Wren. + +'I am a gentleman, I am,' said Fledgeby. + +'Oh!' assented Jenny, screwing up her mouth with an appearance of +conviction. 'Yes, to be sure! That accounts for your having so +much time to give to interceding. But only to think how kind and +friendly a gentleman you must be!' + +Mr Fledgeby found that he was skating round a board marked +Dangerous, and had better cut out a fresh track. 'Let's get back to +the dodgerest of the dodgers,' said he. 'What's he up to in the case +of your friend the handsome gal? He must have some object. +What's his object?' + +'Cannot undertake to say, sir, I am sure!' returned Miss Wren, +composedly. + +'He won't acknowledge where she's gone,' said Fledgeby; 'and I +have a fancy that I should like to have another look at her. Now I +know he knows where she is gone.' + +'Cannot undertake to say, sir, I am sure!' Miss Wren again +rejoined. + +'And you know where she is gone,' hazarded Fledgeby. + +'Cannot undertake to say, sir, really,' replied Miss Wren. + +The quaint little chin met Mr Fledgeby's gaze with such a baffling +hitch, that that agreeable gentleman was for some time at a loss +how to resume his fascinating part in the dialogue. At length he +said: + +'Miss Jenny!--That's your name, if I don't mistake?' + +'Probably you don't mistake, sir,' was Miss Wren's cool answer; +'because you had it on the best authority. Mine, you know.' + +'Miss Jenny! Instead of coming up and being dead, let's come out +and look alive. It'll pay better, I assure you,' said Fledgeby, +bestowing an inveigling twinkle or two upon the dressmaker. +'You'll find it pay better.' + +'Perhaps,' said Miss Jenny, holding out her doll at arm's length, +and critically contemplating the effect of her art with her scissors +on her lips and her head thrown back, as if her interest lay there, +and not in the conversation; 'perhaps you'll explain your meaning, +young man, which is Greek to me.--You must have another touch +of blue in your trimming, my dear.' Having addressed the last +remark to her fair client, Miss Wren proceeded to snip at some +blue fragments that lay before her, among fragments of all colours, +and to thread a needle from a skein of blue silk. + +'Look here,' said Fledgeby.--'Are you attending?' + +'I am attending, sir,' replied Miss Wren, without the slightest +appearance of so doing. 'Another touch of blue in your trimming, +my dear.' + +'Well, look here,' said Fledgeby, rather discouraged by the +circumstances under which he found himself pursuing the +conversation. 'If you're attending--' + +('Light blue, my sweet young lady,' remarked Miss Wren, in a +sprightly tone, 'being best suited to your fair complexion and your +flaxen curls.') + +'I say, if you're attending,' proceeded Fledgeby, 'it'll pay better in +this way. It'll lead in a roundabout manner to your buying damage +and waste of Pubsey and Co. at a nominal price, or even getting it +for nothing.' + +'Aha!' thought the dressmaker. 'But you are not so roundabout, +Little Eyes, that I don't notice your answering for Pubsey and Co. +after all! Little Eyes, Little Eyes, you're too cunning by half.' + +'And I take it for granted,' pursued Fledgeby, 'that to get the most +of your materials for nothing would be well worth your while, Miss +Jenny?' + +'You may take it for granted,' returned the dressmaker with many +knowing nods, 'that it's always well worth my while to make +money.' + +'Now,' said Fledgeby approvingly, 'you're answering to a sensible +purpose. Now, you're coming out and looking alive! So I make so +free, Miss Jenny, as to offer the remark, that you and Judah were +too thick together to last. You can't come to be intimate with such +a deep file as Judah without beginning to see a little way into him, +you know,' said Fledgeby with a wink. + +'I must own,' returned the dressmaker, with her eyes upon her +work, 'that we are not good friends at present.' + +'I know you're not good friends at present,' said Fledgeby. 'I know +all about it. I should like to pay off Judah, by not letting him have +his own deep way in everything. In most things he'll get it by hook +or by crook, but--hang it all!--don't let him have his own deep way +in everything. That's too much.' Mr Fledgeby said this with some +display of indignant warmth, as if he was counsel in the cause for +Virtue. + +'How can I prevent his having his own way?' began the +dressmaker. + +'Deep way, I called it,' said Fledgeby. + +'--His own deep way, in anything?' + +'I'll tell you,' said Fledgeby. 'I like to hear you ask it, because it's +looking alive. It's what I should expect to find in one of your +sagacious understanding. Now, candidly.' + +'Eh?' cried Miss Jenny. + +'I said, now candidly,' Mr Fledgeby explained, a little put out. + +'Oh-h!' + +'I should be glad to countermine him, respecting the handsome +gal, your friend. He means something there. You may depend +upon it, Judah means something there. He has a motive, and of +course his motive is a dark motive. Now, whatever his motive is, +it's necessary to his motive'--Mr Fledgeby's constructive powers +were not equal to the avoidance of some tautology here--'that it +should be kept from me, what he has done with her. So I put it to +you, who know: What HAS he done with her? I ask no more. +And is that asking much, when you understand that it will pay?' + +Miss Jenny Wren, who had cast her eyes upon the bench again +after her last interruption, sat looking at it, needle in hand but not +working, for some moments. She then briskly resumed her work, +and said with a sidelong glance of her eyes and chin at Mr +Fledgeby: + +'Where d'ye live?' + +'Albany, Piccadilly,' replied Fledgeby. + +'When are you at home?' + +'When you like.' + +'Breakfast-time?' said Jenny, in her abruptest and shortest manner. + +'No better time in the day,' said Fledgeby. + +'I'll look in upon you to-morrow, young man. Those two ladies,' +pointing to dolls, 'have an appointment in Bond Street at ten +precisely. When I've dropped 'em there, I'll drive round to you. +With a weird little laugh, Miss Jenny pointed to her crutch-stick as +her equipage. + +'This is looking alive indeed!' cried Fledgeby, rising. + +'Mark you! I promise you nothing,' said the dolls' dressmaker, +dabbing two dabs at him with her needle, as if she put out both his +eyes. + +'No no. I understand,' returned Fledgeby. 'The damage and waste +question shall be settled first. It shall be made to pay; don't you be +afraid. Good-day, Miss Jenny.' + +'Good-day, young man.' + +Mr Fledgeby's prepossessing form withdrew itself; and the little +dressmaker, clipping and snipping and stitching, and stitching and +snipping and clipping, fell to work at a great rate; musing and +muttering all the time. + +'Misty, misty, misty. Can't make it out. Little Eyes and the wolf in +a conspiracy? Or Little Eyes and the wolf against one another? +Can't make it out. My poor Lizzie, have they both designs against +you, either way? Can't make it out. Is Little Eyes Pubsey, and the +wolf Co? Can't make it out. Pubsey true to Co, and Co to Pubsey? +Pubsey false to Co, and Co to Pubsey? Can't make it out. What +said Little Eyes? "Now, candidly?" Ah! However the cat jumps, +HE'S a liar. That's all I can make out at present; but you may go to +bed in the Albany, Piccadilly, with THAT for your pillow, young +man!' Thereupon, the little dressmaker again dabbed out his eyes +separately, and making a loop in the air of her thread and deftly +catching it into a knot with her needle, seemed to bowstring him +into the bargain. + +For the terrors undergone by Mr Dolls that evening when his little +parent sat profoundly meditating over her work, and when he +imagined himself found out, as often as she changed her attitude, +or turned her eyes towards him, there is no adequate name. +Moreover it was her habit to shake her head at that wretched old +boy whenever she caught his eye as he shivered and shook. What +are popularly called 'the trembles' being in full force upon him that +evening, and likewise what are popularly called 'the horrors,' he +had a very bad time of it; which was not made better by his being +so remorseful as frequently to moan 'Sixty threepennorths.' This +imperfect sentence not being at all intelligible as a confession, but +sounding like a Gargantuan order for a dram, brought him into +new difficulties by occasioning his parent to pounce at him in a +more than usually snappish manner, and to overwhelm him with +bitter reproaches. + +What was a bad time for Mr Dolls, could not fail to be a bad time +for the dolls' dressmaker. However, she was on the alert next +morning, and drove to Bond Street, and set down the two ladies +punctually, and then directed her equipage to conduct her to the +Albany. Arrived at the doorway of the house in which Mr +Fledgeby's chambers were, she found a lady standing there in a +travelling dress, holding in her hand--of all things in the world--a +gentleman's hat. + +'You want some one?' said the lady in a stern manner. + +'I am going up stairs to Mr Fledgeby's.' + +'You cannot do that at this moment. There is a gentleman with +him. I am waiting for the gentleman. His business with Mr +Fledgeby will very soon be transacted, and then you can go up. +Until the gentleman comes down, you must wait here.' + +While speaking, and afterwards, the lady kept watchfully between +her and the staircase, as if prepared to oppose her going up, by +force. The lady being of a stature to stop her with a hand, and +looking mightily determined, the dressmaker stood still. + +'Well? Why do you listen?' asked the lady. + +'I am not listening,' said the dressmaker. + +'What do you hear?' asked the lady, altering her phrase. + +'Is it a kind of a spluttering somewhere?' said the dressmaker, with +an inquiring look. + +'Mr Fledgeby in his shower-bath, perhaps,' remarked the lady, +smiling. + +'And somebody's beating a carpet, I think?' + +'Mr Fledgeby's carpet, I dare say,' replied the smiling lady. + +Miss Wren had a reasonably good eye for smiles, being well +accustomed to them on the part of her young friends, though their +smiles mostly ran smaller than in nature. But she had never seen +so singular a smile as that upon this lady's face. It twitched her +nostrils open in a remarkable manner, and contracted her lips and +eyebrows. It was a smile of enjoyment too, though of such a fierce +kind that Miss Wren thought she would rather not enjoy herself +than do it in that way. + +'Well!' said the lady, watching her. 'What now?' + +'I hope there's nothing the matter!' said the dressmaker. + +'Where?' inquired the lady. + +'I don't know where,' said Miss Wren, staring about her. 'But I +never heard such odd noises. Don't you think I had better call +somebody?' + +'I think you had better not,' returned the lady with a significant +frown, and drawing closer. + +On this hint, the dressmaker relinquished the idea, and stood +looking at the lady as hard as the lady looked at her. Meanwhile +the dressmaker listened with amazement to the odd noises which +still continued, and the lady listened too, but with a coolness in +which there was no trace of amazement. + +Soon afterwards, came a slamming and banging of doors; and then +came running down stairs, a gentleman with whiskers, and out of +breath, who seemed to be red-hot. + +'Is your business done, Alfred?' inquired the lady. + +'Very thoroughly done,' replied the gentleman, as he took his hat +from her. + +'You can go up to Mr Fledgeby as soon as you like,' said the lady, +moving haughtily away. + +'Oh! And you can take these three pieces of stick with you,' added +the gentleman politely, 'and say, if you please, that they come from +Mr Alfred Lammle, with his compliments on leaving England. Mr +Alfred Lammle. Be so good as not to forget the name.' + +The three pieces of stick were three broken and frayed fragments of +a stout lithe cane. Miss Jenny taking them wonderingly, and the +gentleman repeating with a grin, 'Mr Alfred Lammle, if you'll be +so good. Compliments, on leaving England,' the lady and +gentleman walked away quite deliberately, and Miss Jenny and her +crutch-stick went up stairs. 'Lammle, Lammle, Lammle?' Miss +Jenny repeated as she panted from stair to stair, 'where have I +heard that name? Lammle, Lammle? I know! Saint Mary Axe!' + +With a gleam of new intelligence in her sharp face, the dolls' +dressmaker pulled at Fledgeby's bell. No one answered; but, from +within the chambers, there proceeded a continuous spluttering +sound of a highly singular and unintelligible nature. + +'Good gracious! Is Little Eyes choking?' cried Miss Jenny. + +Pulling at the bell again and getting no reply, she pushed the outer +door, and found it standing ajar. No one being visible on her +opening it wider, and the spluttering continuing, she took the +liberry of opening an inner door, and then beheld the +extraordinary spectacle of Mr Fledgeby in a shirt, a pair of +Turkish trousers, and a Turkish cap, rolling over and over on his +own carpet, and spluttering wonderfully. + +'Oh Lord!' gasped Mr Fledgeby. 'Oh my eye! Stop thief! I am +strangling. Fire! Oh my eye! A glass of water. Give me a glass +of water. Shut the door. Murder! Oh Lord!' And then rolled and +spluttered more than ever. + +Hurrying into another room, Miss Jenny got a glass of water, and +brought it for Fledgeby's relief: who, gasping, spluttering, and +rattling in his throat betweenwhiles, drank some water, and laid +his head faintly on her arm. + +'Oh my eye!' cried Fledgeby, struggling anew. 'It's salt and snuff. +It's up my nose, and down my throat, and in my wind-pipe. Ugh! +Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah--h--h--h!' And here, crowing fearfully, with his +eyes starting out of his head, appeared to be contending with every +mortal disease incidental to poultry. + +'And Oh my Eye, I'm so sore!' cried Fledgeby, starting, over on his +back, in a spasmodic way that caused the dressmaker to retreat to +the wall. 'Oh I smart so! Do put something to my back and arms, +and legs and shoulders. Ugh! It's down my throat again and can't +come up. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah--h--h--h! Oh I smart so!' Here Mr +Fledgeby bounded up, and bounded down, and went rolling over +and over again. + +The dolls' dressmaker looked on until he rolled himself into a +corner with his Turkish slippers uppermost, and then, resolving in +the first place to address her ministration to the salt and snuff, gave +him more water and slapped his back. But, the latter application +was by no means a success, causing Mr Fledgeby to scream, and to +cry out, 'Oh my eye! don't slap me! I'm covered with weales and I +smart so!' + +However, he gradually ceased to choke and crow, saving at +intervals, and Miss Jenny got him into an easy-chair: where, with +his eyes red and watery, with his features swollen, and with some +half-dozen livid bars across his face, he presented a most rueful +sight. + +'What ever possessed you to take salt and snuff, young man?' +inquired Miss Jenny. + +'I didn't take it,' the dismal youth replied. 'It was crammed into my +mouth.' + +'Who crammed it?' asked Miss Jenny. + +'He did,' answered Fledgeby. 'The assassin. Lammle. He rubbed +it into my mouth and up my nose and down my throat--Ow! Ow! +Ow! Ah--h--h--h! Ugh!--to prevent my crying out, and then +cruelly assaulted me.' + +'With this?' asked Miss Jenny, showing the pieces of cane. + +'That's the weapon,' said Fledgeby, eyeing it with the air of an +acquaintance. 'He broke it over me. Oh I smart so! How did you +come by it?' + +'When he ran down stairs and joined the lady he had left in the hall +with his hat'--Miss Jenny began. + +'Oh!' groaned Mr Fledgeby, writhing, 'she was holding his hat, was +she? I might have known she was in it.' + +'When he came down stairs and joined the lady who wouldn't let +me come up, he gave me the pieces for you, and I was to say, +"With Mr Alfred Lammle's compliments on his leaving England."' +Miss Jenny said it with such spiteful satisfaction, and such a hitch +of her chin and eyes as might have added to Mr Fledgeby's +miseries, if he could have noticed either, in his bodily pain with his +hand to his head. + +'Shall I go for the police?' inquired Miss Jenny, with a nimble start +towards the door. + +'Stop! No, don't!' cried Fledgeby. 'Don't, please. We had better +keep it quiet. Will you be so good as shut the door? Oh I do smart +so!' + +In testimony of the extent to which he smarted, Mr Fledgeby came +wallowing out of the easy-chair, and took another roll on the +carpet. + +Now the door's shut,' said Mr Fledgeby, sitting up in anguish, with +his Turkish cap half on and half off, and the bars on his face +getting bluer, 'do me the kindness to look at my back and +shoulders. They must be in an awful state, for I hadn't got my +dressing-gown on, when the brute came rushing in. Cut my shirt +away from the collar; there's a pair of scissors on that table. Oh!' +groaned Mr Fledgeby, with his hand to his head again. 'How I do +smart, to be sure!' + +'There?' inquired Miss Jenny, alluding to the back and shoulders. + +'Oh Lord, yes!' moaned Fledgeby, rocking himself. 'And all over! +Everywhere!' + +The busy little dressmaker quickly snipped the shirt away, and laid +bare the results of as furious and sound a thrashing as even Mr +Fledgeby merited. 'You may well smart, young man!' exclaimed +Miss Jenny. And stealthily rubbed her little hands behind him, +and poked a few exultant pokes with her two forefingers over the +crown of his head. + +'What do you think of vinegar and brown paper?' inquired the +suffering Fledgeby, still rocking and moaning. 'Does it look as if +vinegar and brown paper was the sort of application?' + +'Yes,' said Miss Jenny, with a silent chuckle. 'It looks as if it ought +to be Pickled.' + +Mr Fledgeby collapsed under the word 'Pickled,' and groaned +again. 'My kitchen is on this floor,' he said; 'you'll find brown +paper in a dresser-drawer there, and a bottle of vinegar on a shelf. +Would you have the kindness to make a few plasters and put 'em +on? It can't be kept too quiet.' + +'One, two--hum--five, six. You'll want six,' said the dress-maker. + +'There's smart enough,' whimpered Mr Fledgeby, groaning and +writhing again, 'for sixty.' + +Miss Jenny repaired to the kitchen, scissors in hand, found the +brown paper and found the vinegar, and skilfully cut out and +steeped six large plasters. When they were all lying ready on the +dresser, an idea occurred to her as she was about to gather them +up. + +'I think,' said Miss Jenny with a silent laugh, 'he ought to have a +little pepper? Just a few grains? I think the young man's tricks +and manners make a claim upon his friends for a little pepper?' + +Mr Fledgeby's evil star showing her the pepper-box on the +chimneypiece, she climbed upon a chair, and got it down, and +sprinkled all the plasters with a judicious hand. She then went +back to Mr Fledgeby, and stuck them all on him: Mr Fledgeby +uttering a sharp howl as each was put in its place. + +'There, young man!' said the dolls' dressmaker. 'Now I hope you +feel pretty comfortable?' + +Apparently, Mr Fledgeby did not, for he cried by way of answer, +'Oh--h how I do smart!' + +Miss Jenny got his Persian gown upon him, extinguished his eyes +crookedly with his Persian cap, and helped him to his bed: upon +which he climbed groaning. 'Business between you and me being +out of the question to-day, young man, and my time being +precious,' said Miss Jenny then, 'I'll make myself scarce. Are you +comfortable now?' + +'Oh my eye!' cried Mr Fledgeby. 'No, I ain't. Oh--h--h! how I do +smart!' + +The last thing Miss Jenny saw, as she looked back before closing +the room door, was Mr Fledgeby in the act of plunging and +gambolling all over his bed, like a porpoise or dolphin in its native +element. She then shut the bedroom door, and all the other doors, +and going down stairs and emerging from the Albany into the busy +streets, took omnibus for Saint Mary Axe: pressing on the road all +the gaily-dressed ladies whom she could see from the window, and +making them unconscious lay-figures for dolls, while she mentally +cut them out and basted them. + + + +Chapter 9 + +TWO PLACES VACATED + + +Set down by the omnibus at the corner of Saint Mary Axe, and +trusting to her feet and her crutch-stick within its precincts, the +dolls' dressmaker proceeded to the place of business of Pubsey and +Co. All there was sunny and quiet externally, and shady and quiet +internally. Hiding herself in the entry outside the glass door, she +could see from that post of observation the old man in his +spectacles sitting writing at his desk. + +'Boh!' cried the dressmaker, popping in her head at the glass-door. +'Mr Wolf at home?' + +The old man took his glasses off, and mildly laid them down +beside him. 'Ah Jenny, is it you? I thought you had given me up.' + +'And so I had given up the treacherous wolf of the forest,' she +replied; 'but, godmother, it strikes me you have come back. I am +not quite sure, because the wolf and you change forms. I want to +ask you a question or two, to find out whether you are really +godmother or really wolf. May I?' + +'Yes, Jenny, yes.' But Riah glanced towards the door, as if he +thought his principal might appear there, unseasonably. + +'If you're afraid of the fox,' said Miss Jenny, 'you may dismiss all +present expectations of seeing that animal. HE won't show +himself abroad, for many a day.' + +'What do you mean, my child?' + +'I mean, godmother,' replied Miss Wren, sitting down beside the +Jew, 'that the fox has caught a famous flogging, and that if his skin +and bones are not tingling, aching, and smarting at this present +instant, no fox did ever tingle, ache, and smart.' Therewith Miss +Jenny related what had come to pass in the Albany, omitting the +few grains of pepper. + +'Now, godmother,' she went on, 'I particularly wish to ask you +what has taken place here, since I left the wolf here? Because I +have an idea about the size of a marble, rolling about in my little +noddle. First and foremost, are you Pubsey and Co., or are you +either? Upon your solemn word and honour.' + +The old man shook his head. + +'Secondly, isn't Fledgeby both Pubsey and Co.?' + +The old man answered with a reluctant nod. + +'My idea,' exclaimed Miss Wren, 'is now about the size of an +orange. But before it gets any bigger, welcome back, dear +godmother!' + +The little creature folded her arms about the old man's neck with +great earnestness, and kissed him. 'I humbly beg your forgiveness, +godmother. I am truly sorry. I ought to have had more faith in +you. But what could I suppose when you said nothing for yourself, +you know? I don't mean to offer that as a justification, but what +could I suppose, when you were a silent party to all he said? It did +look bad; now didn't it?' + +'It looked so bad, Jenny,' responded the old man, with gravity, 'that +I will straightway tell you what an impression it wrought upon me. +I was hateful in mine own eyes. I was hateful to myself, in being +so hateful to the debtor and to you. But more than that, and worse +than that, and to pass out far and broad beyond myself--I reflected +that evening, sitting alone in my garden on the housetop, that I was +doing dishonour to my ancient faith and race. I reflected--clearly +reflected for the first time--that in bending my neck to the yoke I +was willing to wear, I bent the unwilling necks of the whole +Jewish people. For it is not, in Christian countries, with the Jews +as with other peoples. Men say, 'This is a bad Greek, but there are +good Greeks. This is a bad Turk, but there are good Turks.' Not +so with the Jews. Men find the bad among us easily enough-- +among what peoples are the bad not easily found?--but they take +the worst of us as samples of the best; they take the lowest of us as +presentations of the highest; and they say "All Jews are alike." If, +doing what I was content to do here, because I was grateful for the +past and have small need of money now, I had been a Christian, I +could have done it, compromising no one but my individual self. +But doing it as a Jew, I could not choose but compromise the Jews +of all conditions and all countries. It is a little hard upon us, but it +is the truth. I would that all our people remembered it! Though I +have little right to say so, seeing that it came home so late to me.' + +The dolls' dressmaker sat holding the old man by the hand, and +looking thoughtfully in his face. + +'Thus I reflected, I say, sitting that evening in my garden on the +housetop. And passing the painful scene of that day in review +before me many times, I always saw that the poor gentleman +believed the story readily, because I was one of the Jews--that you +believed the story readily, my child, because I was one of the Jews-- +that the story itself first came into the invention of the originator +thereof, because I was one of the Jews. This was the result of my +having had you three before me, face to face, and seeing the thing +visibly presented as upon a theatre. Wherefore I perceived that the +obligation was upon me to leave this service. But Jenny, my dear,' +said Riah, breaking off, 'I promised that you should pursue your +questions, and I obstruct them.' + +'On the contrary, godmother; my idea is as large now as a +pumpkin--and YOU know what a pumpkin is, don't you? So you +gave notice that you were going? Does that come next?' asked +Miss Jenny with a look of close attention. + +'I indited a letter to my master. Yes. To that effect.' + +'And what said Tingling-Tossing-Aching-Screaming- +Scratching-Smarter?' asked Miss Wren with an unspeakable +enjoyment in the utterance of those honourable titles and in the +recollection of the pepper. + +'He held me to certain months of servitude, which were his lawful +term of notice. They expire to-morrow. Upon their expiration--not +before--I had meant to set myself right with my Cinderella.' + +'My idea is getting so immense now,' cried Miss Wren, clasping +her temples, 'that my head won't hold it! Listen, godmother; I am +going to expound. Little Eyes (that's Screaming-Scratching- +Smarter) owes you a heavy grudge for going. Little Eyes casts +about how best to pay you off. Little Eyes thinks of Lizzie. Little +Eyes says to himself, 'I'll find out where he has placed that girl, +and I'll betray his secret because it's dear to him.' Perhaps Little +Eyes thinks, "I'll make love to her myself too;" but that I can't +swear--all the rest I can. So, Little Eyes comes to me, and I go to +Little Eyes. That's the way of it. And now the murder's all out, I'm +sorry,' added the dolls' dressmaker, rigid from head to foot with +energy as she shook her little fist before her eyes, 'that I didn't give +him Cayenne pepper and chopped pickled Capsicum!' + +This expression of regret being but partially intelligible to Mr +Riah, the old man reverted to the injuries Fledgeby had received, +and hinted at the necessity of his at once going to tend that beaten +cur. + +'Godmother, godmother, godmother!' cried Miss Wren irritably, 'I +really lose all patience with you. One would think you believed in +the Good Samaritan. How can you be so inconsistent?' + +'Jenny dear,' began the old man gently, 'it is the custom of our +people to help--' + +'Oh! Bother your people!' interposed Miss Wren, with a toss of her +head. 'If your people don't know better than to go and help Little +Eyes, it's a pity they ever got out of Egypt. Over and above that,' +she added, 'he wouldn't take your help if you offered it. Too much +ashamed. Wants to keep it close and quiet, and to keep you out of +the way.' + +They were still debating this point when a shadow darkened the +entry, and the glass door was opened by a messenger who brought +a letter unceremoniously addressed, 'Riah.' To which he said there +was an answer wanted. + +The letter, which was scrawled in pencil uphill and downhill and +round crooked corners, ran thus: + + +'OLD RIAH, + +Your accounts being all squared, go. Shut up the place, turn out +directly, and send me the key by bearer. Go. You are an +unthankful dog of a Jew. Get out. + +F.' + + +The dolls' dressmaker found it delicious to trace the screaming and +smarting of Little Eyes in the distorted writing of this epistle. She +laughed over it and jeered at it in a convenient corner (to the great +astonishment of the messenger) while the old man got his few +goods together in a black bag. That done, the shutters of the upper +windows closed, and the office blind pulled down, they issued +forth upon the steps with the attendant messenger. There, while +Miss Jenny held the bag, the old man locked the house door, and +handed over the key to him; who at once retired with the same. + +'Well, godmother,' said Miss Wren, as they remained upon the +steps together, looking at one another. 'And so you're thrown upon +the world!' + +'It would appear so, Jenny, and somewhat suddenly.' + +'Where are you going to seek your fortune?' asked Miss Wren. + +The old man smiled, but looked about him with a look of having +lost his way in life, which did not escape the dolls' dressmaker. + +'Verily, Jenny,' said he, 'the question is to the purpose, and more +easily asked than answered. But as I have experience of the ready +goodwill and good help of those who have given occupation to +Lizzie, I think I will seek them out for myself.' + +'On foot?' asked Miss Wren, with a chop. + +'Ay!' said the old man. 'Have I not my staff?' + +It was exactly because he had his staff, and presented so quaint an +aspect, that she mistrusted his making the journey. + +'The best thing you can do,' said Jenny, 'for the time being, at all +events, is to come home with me, godmother. Nobody's there but +my bad child, and Lizzie's lodging stands empty.' The old man +when satisfied that no inconvenience could be entailed on any one +by his compliance, readily complied; and the singularly-assorted +couple once more went through the streets together. + +Now, the bad child having been strictly charged by his parent to +remain at home in her absence, of course went out; and, being in +the very last stage of mental decrepitude, went out with two +objects; firstly, to establish a claim he conceived himself to have +upon any licensed victualler living, to be supplied with +threepennyworth of rum for nothing; and secondly, to bestow some +maudlin remorse on Mr Eugene Wrayburn, and see what profit +came of it. Stumblingly pursuing these two designs--they both +meant rum, the only meaning of which he was capable--the +degraded creature staggered into Covent Garden Market and there +bivouacked, to have an attack of the trembles succeeded by an +attack of the horrors, in a doorway. + +This market of Covent Garden was quite out of the creature's line +of road, but it had the attraction for him which it has for the worst +of the solitary members of the drunken tribe. It may be the +companionship of the nightly stir, or it may be the companionship +of the gin and beer that slop about among carters and hucksters, or +it may be the companionship of the trodden vegetable refuse which +is so like their own dress that perhaps they take the Market for a +great wardrobe; but be it what it may, you shall see no such +individual drunkards on doorsteps anywhere, as there. Of dozing +women-drunkards especially, you shall come upon such specimens +there, in the morning sunlight, as you might seek out of doors in +vain through London. Such stale vapid rejected cabbage-leaf and +cabbage-stalk dress, such damaged-orange countenance, such +squashed pulp of humanity, are open to the day nowhere else. So, +the attraction of the Market drew Mr Dolls to it, and he had out his +two fits of trembles and horrors in a doorway on which a woman +had had out her sodden nap a few hours before. + +There is a swarm of young savages always flitting about this same +place, creeping off with fragments of orange-chests, and mouldy +litter--Heaven knows into what holes they can convey them, having +no home!--whose bare feet fall with a blunt dull softness on the +pavement as the policeman hunts them, and who are (perhaps for +that reason) little heard by the Powers that be, whereas in top-boots +they would make a deafening clatter. These, delighting in the +trembles and the horrors of Mr Dolls, as in a gratuitous drama, +flocked about him in his doorway, butted at him, leaped at him, +and pelted him. Hence, when he came out of his invalid retirement +and shook off that ragged train, he was much bespattered, and in +worse case than ever. But, not yet at his worst; for, going into a +public-house, and being supplied in stress of business with his +rum, and seeking to vanish without payment, he was collared, +searched, found penniless, and admonished not to try that again, by +having a pail of dirty water cast over him. This application +superinduced another fit of the trembles; after which Mr Dolls, as +finding himself in good cue for making a call on a professional +friend, addressed himself to the Temple. + +There was nobody at the chambers but Young Blight. That +discreet youth, sensible of a certain incongruity in the association +of such a client with the business that might be coming some day, +with the best intentions temporized with Dolls, and offered a +shilling for coach-hire home. Mr Dolls, accepting the shilling, +promptly laid it out in two threepennyworths of conspiracy against +his life, and two threepennyworths of raging repentance. +Returning to the Chambers with which burden, he was descried +coming round into the court, by the wary young Blight watching +from the window: who instantly closed the outer door, and left the +miserable object to expend his fury on the panels. + +The more the door resisted him, the more dangerous and imminent +became that bloody conspiracy against his life. Force of police +arriving, he recognized in them the conspirators, and laid about +him hoarsely, fiercely, staringly, convulsively, foamingly. A +humble machine, familiar to the conspirators and called by the +expressive name of Stretcher, being unavoidably sent for, he was +rendered a harmless bundle of torn rags by being strapped down +upon it, with voice and consciousness gone out of him, and life fast +going. As this machine was borne out at the Temple gate by four +men, the poor little dolls' dressmaker and her Jewish friend were +coming up the street. + +'Let us see what it is,' cried the dressmaker. 'Let us make haste and +look, godmother.' + +The brisk little crutch-stick was but too brisk. 'O gentlemen, +gentlemen, he belongs to me!' + +'Belongs to you?' said the head of the party, stopping it. + +'O yes, dear gentlemen, he's my child, out without leave. My poor +bad, bad boy! and he don't know me, he don't know me! O what +shall I do,' cried the little creature, wildly beating her hands +together, 'when my own child don't know me!' + +The head of the party looked (as well he might) to the old man for +explanation. He whispered, as the dolls' dressmaker bent over the +exhausted form and vainly tried to extract some sign of recognition +from it: 'It's her drunken father.' + +As the load was put down in the street, Riah drew the head of the +party aside, and whispered that he thought the man was dying. +'No, surely not?' returned the other. But he became less confident, +on looking, and directed the bearers to 'bring him to the nearest +doctor's shop.' + +Thither he was brought; the window becoming from within, a wall +of faces, deformed into all kinds of shapes through the agency of +globular red bottles, green bottles, blue bottles, and other coloured +bottles. A ghastly light shining upon him that he didn't need, the +beast so furious but a few minutes gone, was quiet enough now, +with a strange mysterious writing on his face, reflected from one of +the great bottles, as if Death had marked him: 'Mine.' + +The medical testimony was more precise and more to the purpose +than it sometimes is in a Court of Justice. 'You had better send for +something to cover it. All's over.' + +Therefore, the police sent for something to cover it, and it was +covered and borne through the streets, the people falling away. +After it, went the dolls' dressmaker, hiding her face in the Jewish +skirts, and clinging to them with one hand, while with the other +she plied her stick. It was carried home, and, by reason that the +staircase was very narrow, it was put down in the parlour--the little +working-bench being set aside to make room for it--and there, in +the midst of the dolls with no speculation in their eyes, lay Mr +Dolls with no speculation in his. + +Many flaunting dolls had to be gaily dressed, before the money +was in the dressmaker's pocket to get mourning for Mr Dolls. As +the old man, Riah, sat by, helping her in such small ways as he +could, he found it difficult to make out whether she really did +realize that the deceased had been her father. + +'If my poor boy,' she would say, 'had been brought up better, he +might have done better. Not that I reproach myself. I hope I have +no cause for that.' + +'None indeed, Jenny, I am very certain.' + +'Thank you, godmother. It cheers me to hear you say so. But you +see it is so hard to bring up a child well, when you work, work, +work, all day. When he was out of employment, I couldn't always +keep him near me. He got fractious and nervous, and I was +obliged to let him go into the streets. And he never did well in the +streets, he never did well out of sight. How often it happens with +children!' + +'Too often, even in this sad sense!' thought the old man. + +'How can I say what I might have turned out myself, but for my +back having been so bad and my legs so queer, when I was young!' +the dressmaker would go on. 'I had nothing to do but work, and +so I worked. I couldn't play. But my poor unfortunate child could +play, and it turned out the worse for him.' + +'And not for him alone, Jenny.' + +'Well! I don't know, godmother. He suffered heavily, did my +unfortunate boy. He was very, very ill sometimes. And I called +him a quantity of names;' shaking her head over her work, and +dropping tears. 'I don't know that his going wrong was much the +worse for me. If it ever was, let us forget it.' + +'You are a good girl, you are a patient girl.' + +'As for patience,' she would reply with a shrug, 'not much of that, +godmother. If I had been patient, I should never have called him +names. But I hope I did it for his good. And besides, I felt my +responsibility as a mother, so much. I tried reasoning, and +reasoning failed. I tried coaxing, and coaxing failed. I tried +scolding and scolding failed. But I was bound to try everything, +you know, with such a charge upon my hands. Where would have +been my duty to my poor lost boy, if I had not tried everything!' + +With such talk, mostly in a cheerful tone on the part of the +industrious little creature, the day-work and the night-work were +beguiled until enough of smart dolls had gone forth to bring into +the kitchen, where the working-bench now stood, the sombre stuff +that the occasion required, and to bring into the house the other +sombre preparations. 'And now,' said Miss Jenny, 'having +knocked off my rosy-cheeked young friends, I'll knock off my +white-cheeked self.' This referred to her making her own dress, +which at last was done. 'The disadvantage of making for yourself,' +said Miss Jenny, as she stood upon a chair to look at the result in +the glass, 'is, that you can't charge anybody else for the job, and the +advantage is, that you haven't to go out to try on. Humph! Very +fair indeed! If He could see me now (whoever he is) I hope he +wouldn't repent of his bargain!' + +The simple arrangements were of her own making, and were stated +to Riah thus: + +'I mean to go alone, godmother, in my usual carriage, and you'll be +so kind as keep house while I am gone. It's not far off. And when +I return, we'll have a cup of tea, and a chat over future +arrangements. It's a very plain last house that I have been able to +give my poor unfortunate boy; but he'll accept the will for the deed +if he knows anything about it; and if he doesn't know anything +about it,' with a sob, and wiping her eyes, 'why, it won't matter to +him. I see the service in the Prayer-book says, that we brought +nothing into this world and it is certain we can take nothing out. It +comforts me for not being able to hire a lot of stupid undertaker's +things for my poor child, and seeming as if I was trying to smuggle +'em out of this world with him, when of course I must break down +in the attempt, and bring 'em all back again. As it is, there'll be +nothing to bring back but me, and that's quite consistent, for I +shan't be brought back, some day!' + +After that previous carrying of him in the streets, the wretched old +fellow seemed to be twice buried. He was taken on the shoulders +of half a dozen blossom-faced men, who shuffled with him to the +churchyard, and who were preceded by another blossom-faced +man, affecting a stately stalk, as if he were a Policeman of the +D(eath) Division, and ceremoniously pretending not to know his +intimate acquaintances, as he led the pageant. Yet, the spectacle of +only one little mourner hobbling after, caused many people to turn +their heads with a look of interest. + +At last the troublesome deceased was got into the ground, to be +buried no more, and the stately stalker stalked back before the +solitary dressmaker, as if she were bound in honour to have no +notion of the way home. Those Furies, the conventionalities, being +thus appeased, he left her. + +'I must have a very short cry, godmother, before I cheer up for +good,' said the little creature, coming in. 'Because after all a child +is a child, you know.' + +It was a longer cry than might have been expected. Howbeit, it +wore itself out in a shadowy corner, and then the dressmaker came +forth, and washed her face, and made the tea. 'You wouldn't mind +my cutting out something while we are at tea, would you?' she +asked her Jewish friend, with a coaxing air. + +'Cinderella, dear child,' the old man expostulated, 'will you never +rest?' + +'Oh! It's not work, cutting out a pattern isn't,' said Miss Jenny, +with her busy little scissors already snipping at some paper. 'The +truth is, godmother, I want to fix it while I have it correct in my +mind.' + +'Have you seen it to-day then?' asked Riah. + +'Yes, godmother. Saw it just now. It's a surplice, that's what it is. +Thing our clergymen wear, you know,' explained Miss Jenny, in +consideration of his professing another faith. + +'And what have you to do with that, Jenny?' + +'Why, godmother,' replied the dressmaker, 'you must know that we +Professors who live upon our taste and invention, are obliged to +keep our eyes always open. And you know already that I have +many extra expenses to meet just now. So, it came into my head +while I was weeping at my poor boy's grave, that something in my +way might be done with a clergyman.' + +'What can be done?' asked the old man. + +'Not a funeral, never fear!' returned Miss Jenny, anticipating his +objection with a nod. 'The public don't like to be made +melancholy, I know very well. I am seldom called upon to put my +young friends into mourning; not into real mourning, that is; Court +mourning they are rather proud of. But a doll clergyman, my dear, +--glossy black curls and whiskers--uniting two of my young friends +in matrimony,' said Miss Jenny, shaking her forefinger, 'is quite +another affair. If you don't see those three at the altar in Bond +Street, in a jiffy, my name's Jack Robinson!' + +With her expert little ways in sharp action, she had got a doll into +whitey-brown paper orders, before the meal was over, and was +displaying it for the edification of the Jewish mind, when a knock +was heard at the street-door. Riah went to open it, and presently +came back, ushering in, with the grave and courteous air that sat so +well upon him, a gentleman. + +The gentleman was a stranger to the dressmaker; but even in the +moment of his casting his eyes upon her, there was something in +his manner which brought to her remembrance Mr Eugene +Wrayburn. + +'Pardon me,' said the gentleman. 'You are the dolls' dressmaker?' + +'I am the dolls' dressmaker, sir.' + +'Lizzie Hexam's friend?' + +'Yes, sir,' replied Miss Jenny, instantly on the defensive. 'And +Lizzie Hexam's friend.' + +'Here is a note from her, entreating you to accede to the request of +Mr Mortimer Lightwood, the bearer. Mr Riah chances to know +that I am Mr Mortimer Lightwood, and will tell you so.' + +Riah bent his head in corroboration. + +'Will you read the note?' + +'It's very short,' said Jenny, with a look of wonder, when she had +read it. + +'There was no time to make it longer. Time was so very precious. +My dear friend Mr Eugene Wrayburn is dying.' + +The dressmaker clasped her hands, and uttered a little piteous cry. + +'Is dying,' repeated Lightwood, with emotion, 'at some distance +from here. He is sinking under injuries received at the hands of a +villain who attacked him in the dark. I come straight from his +bedside. He is almost always insensible. In a short restless +interval of sensibility, or partial sensibility, I made out that he +asked for you to be brought to sit by him. Hardly relying on my +own interpretation of the indistinct sounds he made, I caused +Lizzie to hear them. We were both sure that he asked for you.' + +The dressmaker, with her hands still clasped, looked affrightedly +from the one to the other of her two companions. + +'If you delay, he may die with his request ungratified, with his last +wish--intrusted to me--we have long been much more than +brothers--unfulfilled. I shall break down, if I try to say more. + +In a few moments the black bonnet and the crutch-stick were on +duty, the good Jew was left in possession of the house, and the +dolls' dressmaker, side by side in a chaise with Mortimer +Lightwood, was posting out of town. + + + +Chapter 10 + +THE DOLLS' DRESSMAKER DISCOVERS A WORD + + +A darkened and hushed room; the river outside the windows +flowing on to the vast ocean; a figure on the bed, swathed and +bandaged and bound, lying helpless on its back, with its two +useless arms in splints at its sides. Only two days of usage so +familiarized the little dressmaker with this scene, that it held the +place occupied two days ago by the recollections of years. + +He had scarcely moved since her arrival. Sometimes his eyes were +open, sometimes closed. When they were open, there was no +meaning in their unwinking stare at one spot straight before them, +unless for a moment the brow knitted into a faint expression of +anger, or surprise. Then, Mortimer Lightwood would speak to +him, and on occasions he would be so far roused as to make an +attempt to pronounce his friend's name. But, in an instant +consciousness was gone again, and no spirit of Eugene was in +Eugene's crushed outer form. + +They provided Jenny with materials for plying her work, and she +had a little table placed at the foot of his bed. Sitting there, with +her rich shower of hair falling over the chair-back, they hoped she +might attract his notice. With the same object, she would sing, +just above her breath, when he opened his eyes, or she saw his +brow knit into that faint expression, so evanescent that it was like a +shape made in water. But as yet he had not heeded. The 'they' +here mentioned were the medical attendant; Lizzie, who was there +in all her intervals of rest; and Lightwood, who never left him. + +The two days became three, and the three days became four. At +length, quite unexpectedly, he said something in a whisper. + +'What was it, my dear Eugene?' + +'Will you, Mortimer--' + +'Will I--? + +--'Send for her?' + +'My dear fellow, she is here.' + +Quite unconscious of the long blank, he supposed that they were +still speaking together. + +The little dressmaker stood up at the foot of the bed, humming her +song, and nodded to him brightly. 'I can't shake hands, Jenny,' +said Eugene, with something of his old look; 'but I am very glad to +see you.' + +Mortimer repeated this to her, for it could only be made out by +bending over him and closely watching his attempts to say it. In a +little while, he added: + +'Ask her if she has seen the children.' + +Mortimer could not understand this, neither could Jenny herself, +until he added: + +'Ask her if she has smelt the flowers.' + +'Oh! I know!' cried Jenny. 'I understand him now!' Then, +Lightwood yielded his place to her quick approach, and she said, +bending over the bed, with that better look: 'You mean my long +bright slanting rows of children, who used to bring me ease and +rest? You mean the children who used to take me up, and make +me light?' + +Eugene smiled, 'Yes.' + +'I have not seen them since I saw you. I never see them now, but I +am hardly ever in pain now.' + +'It was a pretty fancy,' said Eugene. + +'But I have heard my birds sing,' cried the little creature, 'and I +have smelt my flowers. Yes, indeed I have! And both were most +beautiful and most Divine!' + +'Stay and help to nurse me,' said Eugene, quietly. 'I should like +you to have the fancy here, before I die.' + +She touched his lips with her hand, and shaded her eyes with that +same hand as she went back to her work and her little low song. +He heard the song with evident pleasure, until she allowed it +gradually to sink away into silence. + +'Mortimer.' + +'My dear Eugene.' + +'If you can give me anything to keep me here for only a few +minutes--' + +To keep you here, Eugene?' + +'To prevent my wandering away I don't know where--for I begin to +be sensible that I have just come back, and that I shall lose myself +again--do so, dear boy!' + +Mortimer gave him such stimulants as could be given him with +safety (they were always at hand, ready), and bending over him +once more, was about to caution him, when he said: + +'Don't tell me not to speak, for I must speak. If you knew the +harassing anxiety that gnaws and wears me when I am wandering +in those places--where are those endless places, Mortimer? They +must be at an immense distance!' + +He saw in his friend's face that he was losing himself; for he added +after a moment: 'Don't be afraid--I am not gone yet. What was it?' + +'You wanted to tell me something, Eugene. My poor dear fellow, +you wanted to say something to your old friend--to the friend who +has always loved you, admired you, imitated you, founded himself +upon you, been nothing without you, and who, God knows, would +be here in your place if he could!' + +'Tut, tut!' said Eugene with a tender glance as the other put his +hand before his face. 'I am not worth it. I acknowledge that I like +it, dear boy, but I am not worth it. This attack, my dear Mortimer; +this murder--' + +His friend leaned over him with renewed attention, saying: 'You +and I suspect some one.' + +'More than suspect. But, Mortimer, while I lie here, and when I lie +here no longer, I trust to you that the perpetrator is never brought to +justice.' + +'Eugene?' + +'Her innocent reputation would be ruined, my friend. She would be +punished, not he. I have wronged her enough in fact; I have +wronged her still more in intention. You recollect what pavement +is said to be made of good intentions. It is made of bad intentions +too. Mortimer, I am lying on it, and I know!' + +'Be comforted, my dear Eugene.' + +'I will, when you have promised me. Dear Mortimer, the man +must never be pursued. If he should be accused, you must keep +him silent and save him. Don't think of avenging me; think only of +hushing the story and protecting her. You can confuse the case, +and turn aside the circumstances. Listen to what I say to you. It +was not the schoolmaster, Bradley Headstone. Do you hear me? +Twice; it was not the schoolmaster, Bradley Headstone. Do you +hear me? Three times; it was not the schoolmaster, Bradley +Headstone.' + +He stopped, exhausted. His speech had been whispered, broken, +and indistinct; but by a great effort he had made it plain enough to +be unmistakeable. + +'Dear fellow, I am wandering away. Stay me for another moment, +if you can.' + +Lightwood lifted his head at the neck, and put a wine-glass to his +lips. He rallied. + +'I don't know how long ago it was done, whether weeks, days, or +hours. No matter. There is inquiry on foot, and pursuit. Say! Is +there not?' + +'Yes.' + +'Check it; divert it! Don't let her be brought in question. Shield +her. The guilty man, brought to justice, would poison her name. +Let the guilty man go unpunished. Lizzie and my reparation before +all! Promise me!' + +'Eugene, I do. I promise you!' + +In the act of turning his eyes gratefully towards his friend, he +wandered away. His eyes stood still, and settled into that former +intent unmeaning stare. + +Hours and hours, days and nights, he remained in this same +condition. There were times when he would calmly speak to his +friend after a long period of unconsciousness, and would say he +was better, and would ask for something. Before it could be given +him, he would be gone again. + +The dolls' dressmaker, all softened compassion now, watched him +with an earnestness that never relaxed. She would regularly +change the ice, or the cooling spirit, on his head, and would keep +her ear at the pillow betweenwhiles, listening for any faint words +that fell from him in his wanderings. It was amazing through how +many hours at a time she would remain beside him, in a crouching +attitude, attentive to his slightest moan. As he could not move a +hand, he could make no sign of distress; but, through this close +watching (if through no secret sympathy or power) the little +creature attained an understanding of him that Lightwood did not +possess. Mortimer would often turn to her, as if she were an +interpreter between this sentient world and the insensible man; and +she would change the dressing of a wound, or ease a ligature, or +turn his face, or alter the pressure of the bedclothes on him, with an +absolute certainty of doing right. The natural lightness and +delicacy of touch which had become very refined by practice in her +miniature work, no doubt was involved in this; but her perception +was at least as fine. + +The one word, Lizzie, he muttered millions of times. In a certain +phase of his distressful state, which was the worst to those who +tended him, he would roll his head upon the pillow, incessantly +repeating the name in a hurried and impatient manner, with the +misery of a disturbed mind, and the monotony of a machine. +Equally, when he lay still and staring, he would repeat it for hours +without cessation, but then, always in a tone of subdued warning +and horror. Her presence and her touch upon his breast or face +would often stop this, and then they learned to expect that he +would for some time remain still, with his eyes closed, and that he +would be conscious on opening them. But, the heavy +disappointment of their hope--revived by the welcome silence of +the room--was, that his spirit would glide away again and be lost, +in the moment of their joy that it was there. + +This frequent rising of a drowning man from the deep, to sink +again, was dreadful to the beholders. But, gradually the change +stole upon him that it became dreadful to himself. His desire to +impart something that was on his mind, his unspeakable yearning +to have speech with his friend and make a communication to him, +so troubled him when he recovered consciousness, that its term +was thereby shortened. As the man rising from the deep would +disappear the sooner for fighting with the water, so he in his +desperate struggle went down again. + +One afternoon when he had been lying still, and Lizzie, +unrecognized, had just stolen out of the room to pursue her +occupation, he uttered Lightwood's name. + +'My dear Eugene, I am here.' + +'How long is this to last, Mortimer?' + +Lightwood shook his head. 'Still, Eugene, you are no worse than +you were.' + +'But I know there's no hope. Yet I pray it may last long enough for +you to do me one last service, and for me to do one last action. +Keep me here a few moments, Mortimer. Try, try!' + +His friend gave him what aid he could, and encouraged him to +believe that he was more composed, though even then his eyes +were losing the expression they so rarely recovered. + +'Hold me here, dear fellow, if you can. Stop my wandering away. +I am going!' + +'Not yet, not yet. Tell me, dear Eugene, what is it I shall do?' + +'Keep me here for only a single minute. I am going away again. +Don't let me go. Hear me speak first. Stop me--stop me!' + +'My poor Eugene, try to be calm.' + +'I do try. I try so hard. If you only knew how hard! Don't let me +wander till I have spoken. Give me a little more wine.' + +Lightwood complied. Eugene, with a most pathetic struggle +against the unconsciousness that was coming over him, and with a +look of appeal that affected his friend profoundly, said: + +'You can leave me with Jenny, while you speak to her and tell her +what I beseech of her. You can leave me with Jenny, while you are +gone. There's not much for you to do. You won't be long away.' + +'No, no, no. But tell me what it is that I shall do, Eugene!' + +'I am going! You can't hold me.' + +'Tell me in a word, Eugene!' + +His eyes were fixed again, and the only word that came from his +lips was the word millions of times repeated. Lizzie, Lizzie, +Lizzie. + +But, the watchful little dressmaker had been vigilant as ever in her +watch, and she now came up and touched Lightwood's arm as he +looked down at his friend, despairingly. + +'Hush!' she said, with her finger on her lips. 'His eyes are closing. +He'll be conscious when he next opens them. Shall I give you a +leading word to say to him?' + +'O Jenny, if you could only give me the right word!' + +'I can. Stoop down.' + +He stooped, and she whispered in his ear. She whispered in his ear +one short word of a single syllable. Lightwood started, and looked +at her. + +'Try it,' said the little creature, with an excited and exultant face. +She then bent over the unconscious man, and, for the first time, +kissed him on the cheek, and kissed the poor maimed hand that +was nearest to her. Then, she withdrew to the foot of the bed. + +Some two hours afterwards, Mortimer Lightwood saw his consciousness +come back, and instantly, but very tranquilly, bent over him. + +'Don't speak, Eugene. Do no more than look at me, and listen to +me. You follow what I say.' + +He moved his head in assent. + +'I am going on from the point where we broke off. Is the word we +should soon have come to--is it--Wife?' + +'O God bless you, Mortimer!' + +'Hush! Don't be agitated. Don't speak. Hear me, dear Eugene. +Your mind will be more at peace, lying here, if you make Lizzie +your wife. You wish me to speak to her, and tell her so, and +entreat her to be your wife. You ask her to kneel at this bedside +and be married to you, that your reparation may be complete. Is +that so?' + +'Yes. God bless you! Yes.' + +'It shall be done, Eugene. Trust it to me. I shall have to go away +for some few hours, to give effect to your wishes. You see this is +unavoidable?' + +'Dear friend, I said so.' + +'True. But I had not the clue then. How do you think I got it?' + +Glancing wistfully around, Eugene saw Miss Jenny at the foot of +the bed, looking at him with her elbows on the bed, and her head +upon her hands. There was a trace of his whimsical air upon him, +as he tried to smile at her. + +'Yes indeed,' said Lightwood, 'the discovery was hers. Observe my +dear Eugene; while I am away you will know that I have +discharged my trust with Lizzie, by finding her here, in my present +place at your bedside, to leave you no more. A final word before I +go. This is the right course of a true man, Eugene. And I solemnly +believe, with all my soul, that if Providence should mercifully +restore you to us, you will be blessed with a noble wife in the +preserver of your life, whom you will dearly love.' + +'Amen. I am sure of that. But I shall not come through it, +Mortimer.' + +'You will not be the less hopeful or less strong, for this, Eugene.' + +'No. Touch my face with yours, in case I should not hold out till +you come back. I love you, Mortimer. Don't be uneasy for me +while you are gone. If my dear brave girl will take me, I feel +persuaded that I shall live long enough to be married, dear fellow.' + +Miss Jenny gave up altogether on this parting taking place between +the friends, and sitting with her back towards the bed in the bower +made by her bright hair, wept heartily, though noiselessly. +Mortimer Lightwood was soon gone. As the evening light +lengthened the heavy reflections of the trees in the river, another +figure came with a soft step into the sick room. + +'Is he conscious?' asked the little dressmaker, as the figure took its +station by the pillow. For, Jenny had given place to it immediately, +and could not see the sufferer's face, in the dark room, from her +new and removed position. + +'He is conscious, Jenny,' murmured Eugene for himself. 'He knows +his wife.' + + + +Chapter 11 + +EFFECT IS GIVEN TO THE DOLLS' DRESSMAKER'S DISCOVERY + + +Mrs John Rokesmith sat at needlework in her neat little room, +beside a basket of neat little articles of clothing, which presented +so much of the appearance of being in the dolls' dressmaker's way +of business, that one might have supposed she was going to set up +in opposition to Miss Wren. Whether the Complete British Family +Housewife had imparted sage counsel anent them, did not appear, +but probably not, as that cloudy oracle was nowhere visible. For +certain, however, Mrs John Rokesmith stitched at them with so +dexterous a hand, that she must have taken lessons of somebody. +Love is in all things a most wonderful teacher, and perhaps love +(from a pictorial point of view, with nothing on but a thimble), had +been teaching this branch of needlework to Mrs John Rokesmith. + +It was near John's time for coming home, but as Mrs John was +desirous to finish a special triumph of her skill before dinner, she +did not go out to meet him. Placidly, though rather +consequentially smiling, she sat stitching away with a regular +sound, like a sort of dimpled little charming Dresden-china clock +by the very best maker. + +A knock at the door, and a ring at the bell. Not John; or Bella +would have flown out to meet him. Then who, if not John? Bella +was asking herself the question, when that fluttering little fool of a +servant fluttered in, saying, 'Mr Lightwood!' + +Oh good gracious! + +Bella had but time to throw a handkerchief over the basket, when +Mr Lightwood made his bow. There was something amiss with +Mr Lightwood, for he was strangely grave and looked ill. + +With a brief reference to the happy time when it had been his +privilege to know Mrs Rokesmith as Miss Wilfer, Mr Lightwood +explained what was amiss with him and why he came. He came +bearing Lizzie Hexam's earnest hope that Mrs John Rokesmith +would see her married. + +Bella was so fluttered by the request, and by the short narrative he +had feelingly given her, that there never was a more timely +smelling-bottle than John's knock. 'My husband,' said Bella; 'I'll +bring him in.' + +But, that turned out to be more easily said than done; for, the +instant she mentioned Mr Lightwood's name, John stopped, with +his hand upon the lock of the room door. + +'Come up stairs, my darling.' + +Bella was amazed by the flush in his face, and by his sudden +turning away. 'What can it mean?' she thought, as she +accompanied him up stairs. + +'Now, my life,' said John, taking her on his knee, 'tell me all about +it.' + +All very well to say, 'Tell me all about it;' but John was very much +confused. His attention evidently trailed off, now and then, even +while Bella told him all about it. Yet she knew that he took a great +interest in Lizzie and her fortunes. What could it mean? + +'You will come to this marriage with me, John dear?' + +'N--no, my love; I can't do that.' + +'You can't do that, John?' + +'No, my dear, it's quite out of the question. Not to be thought of.' + +'Am I to go alone, John?' + +'No, my dear, you will go with Mr Lightwood.' + +'Don't you think it's time we went down to Mr Lightwood, John +dear?' Bella insinuated. + +'My darling, it's almost time you went, but I must ask you to +excuse me to him altogether.' + +'You never mean, John dear, that you are not going to see him? +Why, he knows you have come home. I told him so.' + +'That's a little unfortunate, but it can't be helped. Unfortunate or +fortunate, I positively cannot see him, my love.' + +Bella cast about in her mind what could be his reason for this +unaccountable behaviour; as she sat on his knee looking at him in +astonishment and pouting a little. A weak reason presented itself. + +'John dear, you never can be jealous of Mr Lightwood?' + +'Why, my precious child,' returned her husband, laughing outright: +'how could I be jealous of him? Why should I be jealous of him?' + +'Because, you know, John,' pursued Bella, pouting a little more, +'though he did rather admire me once, it was not my fault.' + +'It was your fault that I admired you,' returned her husband, with a +look of pride in her, 'and why not your fault that he admired you? +But, I jealous on that account? Why, I must go distracted for life, +if I turned jealous of every one who used to find my wife beautiful +and winning!' + +'I am half angry with you, John dear,' said Bella, laughing a little, +'and half pleased with you; because you are such a stupid old +fellow, and yet you say nice things, as if you meant them. Don't be +mysterious, sir. What harm do you know of Mr Lightwood?' + +'None, my love.' + +'What has he ever done to you, John?' + +'He has never done anything to me, my dear. I know no more +against him than I know against Mr Wrayburn; he has never done +anything to me; neither has Mr Wrayburn. And yet I have exactly +the same objection to both of them.' + +'Oh, John!' retorted Bella, as if she were giving him up for a bad +job, as she used to give up herself. 'You are nothing better than a +sphinx! And a married sphinx isn't a--isn't a nice confidential +husband,' said Bella, in a tone of injury. + +'Bella, my life,' said John Rokesmith, touching her cheek, with a +grave smile, as she cast down her eyes and pouted again; 'look at +me. I want to speak to you.' + +'In earnest, Blue Beard of the secret chamber?' asked Bella, +clearing her pretty face. + +'In earnest. And I confess to the secret chamber. Don't you +remember that you asked me not to declare what I thought of your +higher qualities until you had been tried?' + +'Yes, John dear. And I fully meant it, and I fully mean it.' + +'The time will come, my darling--I am no prophet, but I say so,-- +when you WILL be tried. The time will come, I think, when you +will undergo a trial through which you will never pass quite +triumphantly for me, unless you can put perfect faith in me.' + +'Then you may be sure of me, John dear, for I can put perfect faith +in you, and I do, and I always, always will. Don't judge me by a +little thing like this, John. In little things, I am a little thing +myself--I always was. But in great things, I hope not; I don't +mean to boast, John dear, but I hope not!' + +He was even better convinced of the truth of what she said than she +was, as he felt her loving arms about him. If the Golden +Dustman's riches had been his to stake, he would have staked them +to the last farthing on the fidelity through good and evil of her +affectionate and trusting heart. + +'Now, I'll go down to, and go away with, Mr Lightwood,' said +Bella, springing up. 'You are the most creasing and tumbling +Clumsy-Boots of a packer, John, that ever was; but if you're quite +good, and will promise never to do so any more (though I don't +know what you have done!) you may pack me a little bag for a +night, while I get my bonnet on.' + +He gaily complied, and she tied her dimpled chin up, and shook +her head into her bonnet, and pulled out the bows of her bonnet- +strings, and got her gloves on, finger by finger, and finally got +them on her little plump hands, and bade him good-bye and went +down. Mr Lightwood's impatience was much relieved when he +found her dressed for departure. + +'Mr Rokesmith goes with us?' he said, hesitating, with a look +towards the door. + +'Oh, I forgot!' replied Bella. 'His best compliments. His face is +swollen to the size of two faces, and he is to go to bed directly, +poor fellow, to wait for the doctor, who is coming to lance him.' + +'It is curious,' observed Lightwood, 'that I have never yet seen Mr +Rokesmith, though we have been engaged in the same affairs.' + +'Really?' said the unblushing Bella. + +'I begin to think,' observed Lightwood, 'that I never shall see him.' + +'These things happen so oddly sometimes,' said Bella with a steady +countenance, 'that there seems a kind of fatality in them. But I am +quite ready, Mr Lightwood.' + +They started directly, in a little carriage that Lightwood had +brought with him from never-to-be-forgotten Greenwich; and +from Greenwich they started directly for London; and in London +they waited at a railway station until such time as the Reverend +Frank Milvey, and Margaretta his wife, with whom Mortimer +Lightwood had been already in conference, should come and join +them. + +That worthy couple were delayed by a portentous old parishioner of +the female gender, who was one of the plagues of their lives, and +with whom they bore with most exemplary sweetness and good- +humour, notwithstanding her having an infection of absurdity +about her, that communicated itself to everything with which, and +everybody with whom, she came in contact. She was a member of +the Reverend Frank's congregation, and made a point of +distinguishing herself in that body, by conspicuously weeping at +everything, however cheering, said by the Reverend Frank in his +public ministration; also by applying to herself the various +lamentations of David, and complaining in a personally injured +manner (much in arrear of the clerk and the rest of the respondents) +that her enemies were digging pit-falls about her, and breaking her +with rods of iron. Indeed, this old widow discharged herself of that +portion of the Morning and Evening Service as if she were lodging +a complaint on oath and applying for a warrant before a magistrate. +But this was not her most inconvenient characteristic, for that took +the form of an impression, usually recurring in inclement weather +and at about daybreak, that she had something on her mind and +stood in immediate need of the Reverend Frank to come and take it +off. Many a time had that kind creature got up, and gone out to +Mrs Sprodgkin (such was the disciple's name), suppressing a +strong sense of her comicality by his strong sense of duty, and +perfectly knowing that nothing but a cold would come of it. +However, beyond themselves, the Reverend Frank Milvey and Mrs +Milvey seldom hinted that Mrs Sprodgkin was hardly worth the +trouble she gave; but both made the best of her, as they did of all +their troubles. + +This very exacting member of the fold appeared to be endowed +with a sixth sense, in regard of knowing when the Reverend Frank +Milvey least desired her company, and with promptitude appearing +in his little hall. Consequently, when the Reverend Frank had +willingly engaged that he and his wife would accompany +Lightwood back, he said, as a matter of course: 'We must make +haste to get out, Margaretta, my dear, or we shall be descended on +by Mrs Sprodgkin.' To which Mrs Milvey replied, in her +pleasantly emphatic way, 'Oh YES, for she IS such a marplot, +Frank, and DOES worry so!' Words that were scarcely uttered +when their theme was announced as in faithful attendance below, +desiring counsel on a spiritual matter. The points on which Mrs +Sprodgkin sought elucidation being seldom of a pressing nature +(as Who begat Whom, or some information concerning the +Amorites), Mrs Milvey on this special occasion resorted to the +device of buying her off with a present of tea and sugar, and a loaf +and butter. These gifts Mrs Sprodgkin accepted, but still insisted +on dutifully remaining in the hall, to curtsey to the Reverend Frank +as he came forth. Who, incautiously saying in his genial manner, +'Well, Sally, there you are!' involved himself in a discursive +address from Mrs Sprodgkin, revolving around the result that she +regarded tea and sugar in the light of myrrh and frankincense, and +considered bread and butter identical with locusts and wild honey. +Having communicated this edifying piece of information, Mrs +Sprodgkin was left still unadjourned in the hall, and Mr and Mrs +Milvey hurried in a heated condition to the railway station. All of +which is here recorded to the honour of that good Christian pair, +representatives of hundreds of other good Christian pairs as +conscientious and as useful, who merge the smallness of their +work in its greatness, and feel in no danger of losing dignity when +they adapt themselves to incomprehensible humbugs. + +'Detained at the last moment by one who had a claim upon me,' +was the Reverend Frank's apology to Lightwood, taking no thought +of himself. To which Mrs Milvey added, taking thought for him, +like the championing little wife she was; 'Oh yes, detained at the +last moment. But AS to the claim, Frank, I MUST say that I DO +think you are OVER-considerate sometimes, and allow THAT to +be a LITTLE abused.' + +Bella felt conscious, in spite of her late pledge for herself, that her +husband's absence would give disagreeable occasion for surprise to +the Milveys. Nor could she appear quite at her ease when Mrs +Milvey asked: + +'HOW is Mr Rokesmith, and IS he gone before us, or DOES he +follow us?' + +It becoming necessary, upon this, to send him to bed again and +hold him in waiting to be lanced again, Bella did it. But not half +as well on the second occasion as on the first; for, a twice-told +white one seems almost to become a black one, when you are not +used to it. + +'Oh DEAR!' said Mrs Milvey, 'I am SO sorry! Mr Rokesmith took +SUCH an interest in Lizzie Hexam, when we were there before. +And if we had ONLY known of his face, we COULD have given +him something that would have kept it down long enough for so +SHORT a purpose.' + +By way of making the white one whiter, Bella hastened to stipulate +that he was not in pain. Mrs Milvey was SO glad of it. + +'I don't know HOW it is,' said Mrs Milvey, 'and I am SURE you +don't, Frank, but the clergy and their wives seem to CAUSE +swelled faces. Whenever I take notice of a child in the school, it +seems to me as if its face swelled INSTANTLY. Frank NEVER +makes acquaintance with a new old woman, but she gets the face- +ache. And another thing is, we DO make the poor children sniff +so. I don't know HOW we do it, and I should be so glad not to; but +the MORE we take notice of them, the MORE they sniff. Just as +they do when the text is given out.--Frank, that's a schoolmaster. I +have seen him somewhere.' + +The reference was to a young man of reserved appearance, in a coat +and waistcoat of black, and pantaloons of pepper and salt. He had +come into the office of the station, from its interior, in an unsettled +way, immediately after Lightwood had gone out to the train; and he +had been hurriedly reading the printed hills and notices on the +wall. He had had a wandering interest in what was said among the +people waiting there and passing to and fro. He had drawn nearer, +at about the time when Mrs Milvey mentioned Lizzie Hexam, and +had remained near, since: though always glancing towards the +door by which Lightwood had gone out. He stood with his back +towards them, and his gloved hands clasped behind him. There +was now so evident a faltering upon him, expressive of indecision +whether or no he should express his having heard himself referred +to, that Mr Milvey spoke to him. + +'I cannot recall your name,' he said, 'but I remember to have seen +you in your school.' + +'My name is Bradley Headstone, sir,' he replied, backing into a +more retired place. + +'I ought to have remembered it,' said Mr Milvey, giving him his +hand. 'I hope you are well? A little overworked, I am afraid?' + +'Yes, I am overworked just at present, sir.' + +'Had no play in your last holiday time?' + +'No, sir.' + +'All work and no play, Mr Headstone, will not make dulness, in +your case, I dare say; but it will make dyspepsia, if you don't take +care.' + +'I will endeavour to take care, sir. Might I beg leave to speak to +you, outside, a moment?' + +'By all means.' + +It was evening, and the office was well lighted. The schoolmaster, +who had never remitted his watch on Lightwood's door, now +moved by another door to a corner without, where there was more +shadow than light; and said, plucking at his gloves: + +'One of your ladies, sir, mentioned within my hearing a name that I +am acquainted with; I may say, well acquainted with. The name of +the sister of an old pupil of mine. He was my pupil for a long time, +and has got on and gone upward rapidly. The name of Hexam. +The name of Lizzie Hexam.' He seemed to be a shy man, +struggling against nervousness, and spoke in a very constrained +way. The break he set between his last two sentences was quite +embarrassing to his hearer. + +'Yes,' replied Mr Milvey. 'We are going down to see her.' + +'I gathered as much, sir. I hope there is nothing amiss with the +sister of my old pupil? I hope no bereavement has befallen her. I +hope she is in no affliction? Has lost no--relation?' + +Mr Milvey thought this a man with a very odd manner, and a dark +downward look; but he answered in his usual open way. + +'I am glad to tell you, Mr Headstone, that the sister of your old +pupil has not sustained any such loss. You thought I might be +going down to bury some one?' + +'That may have been the connexion of ideas, sir, with your clerical +character, but I was not conscious of it.--Then you are not, sir?' + +A man with a very odd manner indeed, and with a lurking look +that was quite oppressive. + +'No. In fact,' said Mr Milvey, 'since you are so interested in the +sister of your old pupil, I may as well tell you that I am going +down to marry her.' + +The schoolmaster started back. + +'Not to marry her, myself,' said Mr Milvey, with a smile, 'because I +have a wife already. To perform the marriage service at her +wedding.' + +Bradley Headstone caught hold of a pillar behind him. If Mr +Milvey knew an ashy face when he saw it, he saw it then. + +'You are quite ill, Mr Headstone!' + +'It is not much, sir. It will pass over very soon. I am accustomed +to be seized with giddiness. Don't let me detain you, sir; I stand in +need of no assistance, I thank you. Much obliged by your sparing +me these minutes of your time.' + +As Mr Milvey, who had no more minutes to spare, made a suitable +reply and turned back into the office, he observed the schoolmaster +to lean against the pillar with his hat in his hand, and to pull at his +neckcloth as if he were trying to tear it off. The Reverend Frank +accordingly directed the notice of one of the attendants to him, by +saying: 'There is a person outside who seems to be really ill, and to +require some help, though he says he does not.' + +Lightwood had by this time secured their places, and the departure- +bell was about to be rung. They took their seats, and were +beginning to move out of the station, when the same attendant +came running along the platform, looking into all the carriages. + +'Oh! You are here, sir!' he said, springing on the step, and holding +the window-frame by his elbow, as the carriage moved. 'That +person you pointed out to me is in a fit.' + +'I infer from what he told me that he is subject to such attacks. He +will come to, in the air, in a little while.' + +He was took very bad to be sure, and was biting and knocking +about him (the man said) furiously. Would the gentleman give +him his card, as he had seen him first? The gentleman did so, with +the explanation that he knew no more of the man attacked than that +he was a man of a very respectable occupation, who had said he +was out of health, as his appearance would of itself have indicated. +The attendant received the card, watched his opportunity for +sliding down, slid down, and so it ended. + +Then, the train rattled among the house-tops, and among the +ragged sides of houses torn down to make way for it, and over the +swarming streets, and under the fruitful earth, until it shot across +the river: bursting over the quiet surface like a bomb-shell, and +gone again as if it had exploded in the rush of smoke and steam +and glare. A little more, and again it roared across the river, a +great rocket: spurning the watery turnings and doublings with +ineffable contempt, and going straight to its end, as Father Time +goes to his. To whom it is no matter what living waters run high +or low, reflect the heavenly lights and darknesses, produce their +little growth of weeds and flowers, turn here, turn there, are noisy +or still, are troubled or at rest, for their course has one sure +termination, though their sources and devices are many. + +Then, a carriage ride succeeded, near the solemn river, stealing +away by night, as all things steal away, by night and by day, so +quietly yielding to the attraction of the loadstone rock of Eternity; +and the nearer they drew to the chamber where Eugene lay, the +more they feared that they might find his wanderings done. At last +they saw its dim light shining out, and it gave them hope: though +Lightwood faltered as he thought: 'If he were gone, she would still +be sitting by him.' + +But he lay quiet, half in stupor, half in sleep. Bella, entering with a +raised admonitory finger, kissed Lizzie softly, but said not a word. +Neither did any of them speak, but all sat down at the foot of the +bed, silently waiting. And now, in this night-watch, mingling with +the flow of the river and with the rush of the train, came the +questions into Bella's mind again: What could be in the depths of +that mystery of John's? Why was it that he had never been seen by +Mr Lightwood, whom he still avoided? When would that trial +come, through which her faith in, and her duty to, her dear +husband, was to carry her, rendering him triumphant? For, that +had been his term. Her passing through the trial was to make the +man she loved with all her heart, triumphant. Term not to sink out +of sight in Bella's breast. + +Far on in the night, Eugene opened his eyes. He was sensible, and +said at once: 'How does the time go? Has our Mortimer come +back?' + +Lightwood was there immediately, to answer for himself. 'Yes, +Eugene, and all is ready.' + +'Dear boy!' returned Eugene with a smile, 'we both thank you +heartily. Lizzie, tell them how welcome they are, and that I would +be eloquent if I could.' + +'There is no need,' said Mr Milvey. 'We know it. Are you better, +Mr Wrayburn?' + +'I am much happier,' said Eugene. + +'Much better too, I hope?' + +Eugene turned his eyes towards Lizzie, as if to spare her, and +answered nothing. + +Then, they all stood around the bed, and Mr Milvey, opening his +book, began the service; so rarely associated with the shadow of +death; so inseparable in the mind from a flush of life and gaiety +and hope and health and joy. Bella thought how different from her +own sunny little wedding, and wept. Mrs Milvey overflowed with +pity, and wept too. The dolls' dressmaker, with her hands before +her face, wept in her golden bower. Reading in a low clear voice, +and bending over Eugene, who kept his eyes upon him, Mr Milvey +did his office with suitable simplicity. As the bridegroom could +not move his hand, they touched his fingers with the ring, and so +put it on the bride. When the two plighted their troth, she laid her +hand on his and kept it there. When the ceremony was done, and +all the rest departed from the room, she drew her arm under his +head, and laid her own head down upon the pillow by his side. + +'Undraw the curtains, my dear girl,' said Eugene, after a while, 'and +let us see our wedding-day.' + +The sun was rising, and his first rays struck into the room, as she +came back, and put her lips to his. 'I bless the day!' said Eugene. +'I bless the day!' said Lizzie. + +'You have made a poor marriage of it, my sweet wife,' said +Eugene. 'A shattered graceless fellow, stretched at his length here, +and next to nothing for you when you are a young widow.' + +'I have made the marriage that I would have given all the world to +dare to hope for,' she replied. + +'You have thrown yourself away,' said Eugene, shaking his head. +'But you have followed the treasure of your heart. My justification +is, that you had thrown that away first, dear girl!' + +'No. I had given it to you.' + +'The same thing, my poor Lizzie!' + +'Hush! hush! A very different thing.' + +There were tears in his eyes, and she besought him to close them. +'No,' said Eugene, again shaking his head; 'let me look at you, +Lizzie, while I can. You brave devoted girl! You heroine!' + +Her own eyes filled under his praises. And when he mustered +strength to move his wounded head a very little way, and lay it on +her bosom, the tears of both fell. + +'Lizzie,' said Eugene, after a silence: 'when you see me wandering +away from this refuge that I have so ill deserved, speak to me by +my name, and I think I shall come back.' + +'Yes, dear Eugene.' + +'There!' he exclaimed, smiling. 'I should have gone then, but for +that!' + +A little while afterwards, when he appeared to be sinking into +insensibility, she said, in a calm loving voice: 'Eugene, my dear +husband!' He immediately answered: 'There again! You see how +you can recall me!' And afterwards, when he could not speak, he +still answered by a slight movement of his head upon her bosom. + +The sun was high in the sky, when she gently disengaged herself to +give him the stimulants and nourishment he required. The utter +helplessness of the wreck of him that lay cast ashore there, now +alarmed her, but he himself appeared a little more hopeful. + +'Ah, my beloved Lizzie!' he said, faintly. 'How shall I ever pay all +I owe you, if I recover!' + +'Don't be ashamed of me,' she replied, 'and you will have more than +paid all.' + +'It would require a life, Lizzie, to pay all; more than a life.' + +'Live for that, then; live for me, Eugene; live to see how hard I will +try to improve myself, and never to discredit you.' + +'My darling girl,' he replied, rallying more of his old manner than +he had ever yet got together. 'On the contrary, I have been thinking +whether it is not the best thing I can do, to die.' + +'The best thing you can do, to leave me with a broken heart?' + +'I don't mean that, my dear girl. I was not thinking of that. What I +was thinking of was this. Out of your compassion for me, in this +maimed and broken state, you make so much of me--you think so +well of me--you love me so dearly.' + +'Heaven knows I love you dearly!' + +'And Heaven knows I prize it! Well. If I live, you'll find me out.' + +'I shall find out that my husband has a mine of purpose and energy, +and will turn it to the best account?' + +'I hope so, dearest Lizzie,' said Eugene, wistfully, and yet +somewhat whimsically. 'I hope so. But I can't summon the vanity +to think so. How can I think so, looking back on such a trifling +wasted youth as mine! I humbly hope it; but I daren't believe it. +There is a sharp misgiving in my conscience that if I were to live, I +should disappoint your good opinion and my own--and that I ought +to die, my dear!' + + + +Chapter 12 + +THE PASSING SHADOW + + +The winds and tides rose and fell a certain number of times, the +earth moved round the sun a certain number of times, the ship +upon the ocean made her voyage safely, and brought a baby-Bella +home. Then who so blest and happy as Mrs John Rokesmith, +saving and excepting Mr John Rokesmith! + +'Would you not like to be rich NOW, my darling?' + +'How can you ask me such a question, John dear? Am I not rich?' + +These were among the first words spoken near the baby Bella as +she lay asleep. She soon proved to be a baby of wonderful +intelligence, evincing the strongest objection to her grandmother's +society, and being invariably seized with a painful acidity of the +stomach when that dignified lady honoured her with any attention. + +It was charming to see Bella contemplating this baby, and finding +out her own dimples in that tiny reflection, as if she were looking +in the glass without personal vanity. Her cherubic father justly +remarked to her husband that the baby seemed to make her +younger than before, reminding him of the days when she had a pet +doll and used to talk to it as she carried it about. The world might +have been challenged to produce another baby who had such a +store of pleasant nonsense said and sung to it, as Bella said and +sung to this baby; or who was dressed and undressed as often in +four-and-twenty hours as Bella dressed and undressed this baby; or +who was held behind doors and poked out to stop its father's way +when he came home, as this baby was; or, in a word, who did half +the number of baby things, through the lively invention of a gay +and proud young mother, that this inexhaustible baby did. + +The inexhaustible baby was two or three months old, when Bella +began to notice a cloud upon her husband's brow. Watching it, she +saw a gathering and deepening anxiety there, which caused her +great disquiet. More than once, she awoke him muttering in his +sleep; and, though he muttered nothing worse than her own name, +it was plain to her that his restlessness originated in some load of +care. Therefore, Bella at length put in her claim to divide this +load, and hear her half of it. + +'You know, John dear,' she said, cheerily reverting to their former +conversation, 'that I hope I may safely be trusted in great things. +And it surely cannot be a little thing that causes you so much +uneasiness. It's very considerate of you to try to hide from me that +you are uncomfortable about something, but it's quite impossible to +be done, John love.' + +'I admit that I am rather uneasy, my own.' + +'Then please to tell me what about, sir.' + +But no, he evaded that. 'Never mind!' thought Bella, resolutely. +'John requires me to put perfect faith in him, and he shall not be +disappointed.' + +She went up to London one day, to meet him, in order that they +might make some purchases. She found him waiting for her at her +journey's end, and they walked away together through the streets. +He was in gay spirits, though still harping on that notion of their +being rich; and he said, now let them make believe that yonder fine +carriage was theirs, and that it was waiting to take them home to a +fine house they had; what would Bella, in that case, best like to +find in the house? Well! Bella didn't know: already having +everything she wanted, she couldn't say. But, by degrees she was +led on to confess that she would like to have for the inexhaustible +baby such a nursery as never was seen. It was to be 'a very +rainbow for colours', as she was quite sure baby noticed colours; +and the staircase was to be adorned with the most exquisite +flowers, as she was absolutely certain baby noticed flowers; and +there was to be an aviary somewhere, of the loveliest little birds, as +there was not the smallest doubt in the world that baby noticed +birds. Was there nothing else? No, John dear. The predilections +of the inexhaustible baby being provided for, Bella could think of +nothing else. + +They were chatting on in this way, and John had suggested, 'No +jewels for your own wear, for instance?' and Bella had replied +laughing. O! if he came to that, yes, there might be a beautiful +ivory case of jewels on her dressing-table; when these pictures +were in a moment darkened and blotted out. + +They turned a corner, and met Mr Lightwood. + +He stopped as if he were petrified by the sight of Bella's husband, +who in the same moment had changed colour. + +'Mr Lightwood and I have met before,' he said. + +'Met before, John?' Bella repeated in a tone of wonder. 'Mr +Lightwood told me he had never seen you.' + +'I did not then know that I had,' said Lightwood, discomposed on +her account. I believed that I had only heard of--Mr Rokesmith.' +With an emphasis on the name. + +'When Mr Lightwood saw me, my love,' observed her husband, not +avoiding his eye, but looking at him, 'my name was Julius +Handford.' + +Julius Handford! The name that Bella had so often seen in old +newspapers, when she was an inmate of Mr Boffin's house! Julius +Handford, who had been publicly entreated to appear, and for +intelligence of whom a reward had been publicly offered! + +'I would have avoided mentioning it in your presence,' said +Lightwood to Bella, delicately; 'but since your husband mentions it +himself, I must confirm his strange admission. I saw him as Mr +Julius Handford, and I afterwards (unquestionably to his +knowledge) took great pains to trace him out.' + +'Quite true. But it was not my object or my interest,' said +Rokesmith, quietly, 'to be traced out.' + +Bella looked from the one to the other, in amazement. + +'Mr Lightwood,' pursued her husband, 'as chance has brought us +face to face at last--which is not to be wondered at, for the wonder +is, that, in spite of all my pains to the contrary, chance has not +confronted us together sooner--I have only to remind you that you +have been at my house, and to add that I have not changed my +residence.' + +'Sir' returned Lightwood, with a meaning glance towards Bella, +'my position is a truly painful one. I hope that no complicity in a +very dark transaction may attach to you, but you cannot fail to +know that your own extraordinary conduct has laid you under +suspicion.' + +'I know it has,' was all the reply. + +'My professional duty,' said Lightwood hesitating, with another +glance towards Bella, 'is greatly at variance with my personal +inclination; but I doubt, Mr Handford, or Mr Rokesmith, whether I +am justified in taking leave of you here, with your whole course +unexplained.' + +Bella caught her husband by the hand. + +'Don't be alarmed, my darling. Mr Lightwood will find that he is +quite justified in taking leave of me here. At all events,' added +Rokesmith, 'he will find that I mean to take leave of him here.' + +'I think, sir,' said Lightwood, 'you can scarcely deny that when I +came to your house on the occasion to which you have referred, +you avoided me of a set purpose.' + +'Mr Lightwood, I assure you I have no disposition to deny it, or +intention to deny it. I should have continued to avoid you, in +pursuance of the same set purpose, for a short time longer, if we +had not met now. I am going straight home, and shall remain at +home to-morrow until noon. Hereafter, I hope we may be better +acquainted. Good-day.' + +Lightwood stood irresolute, but Bella's husband passed him in the +steadiest manner, with Bella on his arm; and they went home +without encountering any further remonstrance or molestation from +any one. + +When they had dined and were alone, John Rokesmith said to his +wife, who had preserved her cheerfulness: 'And you don't ask me, +my dear, why I bore that name?' + +'No, John love. I should dearly like to know, of course;' (which her +anxious face confirmed;) 'but I wait until you can tell me of your +own free will. You asked me if I could have perfect faith in you, +and I said yes, and I meant it.' + +It did not escape Bella's notice that he began to look triumphant. +She wanted no strengthening in her firmness; but if she had had +need of any, she would have derived it from his kindling face. + +'You cannot have been prepared, my dearest, for such a discovery +as that this mysterious Mr Handford was identical with your +husband?' + +'No, John dear, of course not. But you told me to prepare to be +tried, and I prepared myself.' + +He drew her to nestle closer to him, and told her it would soon be +over, and the truth would soon appear. 'And now,' he went on, 'lay +stress, my dear, on these words that I am going to add. I stand in +no kind of peril, and I can by possibility be hurt at no one's hand.' + +'You are quite, quite sure of that, John dear?' + +'Not a hair of my head! Moreover, I have done no wrong, and have +injured no man. Shall I swear it?' + +'No, John!' cried Bella, laying her hand upon his lips, with a proud +look. 'Never to me!' + +'But circumstances,' he went on '--I can, and I will, disperse them +in a moment--have surrounded me with one of the strangest +suspicions ever known. You heard Mr Lightwood speak of a dark +transaction?' + +'Yes, John.' + +'You are prepared to hear explicitly what he meant?' + +'Yes, John.' + +'My life, he meant the murder of John Harmon, your allotted +husband.' + +With a fast palpitating heart, Bella grasped him by the arm. 'You +cannot be suspected, John?' + +'Dear love, I can be--for I am!' + +There was silence between them, as she sat looking in his face, +with the colour quite gone from her own face and lips. 'How dare +they!' she cried at length, in a burst of generous indignation. 'My +beloved husband, how dare they!' + +He caught her in his arms as she opened hers, and held her to his +heart. 'Even knowing this, you can trust me, Bella?' + +'I can trust you, John dear, with all my soul. If I could not trust +you, I should fall dead at your feet.' + +The kindling triumph in his face was bright indeed, as he looked +up and rapturously exclaimed, what had he done to deserve the +blessing of this dear confiding creature's heart! Again she put her +hand upon his lips, saying, 'Hush!' and then told him, in her own +little natural pathetic way, that if all the world were against him, +she would be for him; that if all the world repudiated him, she +would believe him; that if he were infamous in other eyes, he +would be honoured in hers; and that, under the worst unmerited +suspicion, she could devote her life to consoling him, and +imparting her own faith in him to their little child. + +A twilight calm of happiness then succeeding to their radiant noon, +they remained at peace, until a strange voice in the room startled +them both. The room being by that time dark, the voice said, +'Don't let the lady be alarmed by my striking a light,' and +immediately a match rattled, and glimmered in a hand. The hand +and the match and the voice were then seen by John Rokesmith to +belong to Mr Inspector, once meditatively active in this chronicle. + +'I take the liberty,' said Mr Inspector, in a business-like manner, 'to +bring myself to the recollection of Mr Julius Handford, who gave +me his name and address down at our place a considerable time +ago. Would the lady object to my lighting the pair of candles on +the chimneypiece, to throw a further light upon the subject? No? +Thank you, ma'am. Now, we look cheerful.' + +Mr Inspector, in a dark-blue buttoned-up frock coat and +pantaloons, presented a serviceable, half-pay, Royal Arms kind of +appearance, as he applied his pocket handkerchief to his nose and +bowed to the lady. + +'You favoured me, Mr Handford,' said Mr Inspector, 'by writing +down your name and address, and I produce the piece of paper on +which you wrote it. Comparing the same with the writing on the +fly-leaf of this book on the table--and a sweet pretty volume it is--I +find the writing of the entry, "Mrs John Rokesmith. From her +husband on her birthday"--and very gratifying to the feelings such +memorials are--to correspond exactly. Can I have a word with +you?' + +'Certainly. Here, if you please,' was the reply. + +'Why,' retorted Mr Inspector, again using his pocket handkerchief, +'though there's nothing for the lady to be at all alarmed at, still, +ladies are apt to take alarm at matters of business--being of that +fragile sex that they're not accustomed to them when not of a +strictly domestic character--and I do generally make it a rule to +propose retirement from the presence of ladies, before entering +upon business topics. Or perhaps,' Mr Inspector hinted, 'if the lady +was to step up-stairs, and take a look at baby now!' + +'Mrs Rokesmith,'--her husband was beginning; when Mr Inspector, +regarding the words as an introduction, said, 'Happy I am sure, to +have the honour.' And bowed, with gallantry. + +'Mrs Rokesmith,' resumed her husband, 'is satisfied that she can +have no reason for being alarmed, whatever the business is.' + +'Really? Is that so?' said Mr Inspector. 'But it's a sex to live and +learn from, and there's nothing a lady can't accomplish when she +once fully gives her mind to it. It's the case with my own wife. +Well, ma'am, this good gentleman of yours has given rise to a +rather large amount of trouble which might have been avoided if he +had come forward and explained himself. Well you see! He +DIDN'T come forward and explain himself. Consequently, now +that we meet, him and me, you'll say--and say right--that there's +nothing to be alarmed at, in my proposing to him TO come +forward--or, putting the same meaning in another form, to come +along with me--and explain himself.' + +When Mr Inspector put it in that other form, 'to come along with +me,' there was a relishing roll in his voice, and his eye beamed +with an official lustre. + +'Do you propose to take me into custody?' inquired John +Rokesmith, very coolly. + +'Why argue?' returned Mr Inspector in a comfortable sort of +remonstrance; 'ain't it enough that I propose that you shall come +along with me?' + +'For what reason?' + +Lord bless my soul and body!' returned Mr Inspector, 'I wonder at +it in a man of your education. Why argue?' + +'What do you charge against me?' + +'I wonder at you before a lady,' said Mr Inspector, shaking his +head reproachfully: 'I wonder, brought up as you have been, you +haven't a more delicate mind! I charge you, then, with being some +way concerned in the Harmon Murder. I don't say whether before, +or in, or after, the fact. I don't say whether with having some +knowledge of it that hasn't come out.' + +'You don't surprise me. I foresaw your visit this afternoon.' + +'Don't!' said Mr Inspector. 'Why, why argue? It's my duty to +inform you that whatever you say, will be used against you.' + +'I don't think it will.' + +'But I tell you it will,' said Mr Inspector. 'Now, having received +the caution, do you still say that you foresaw my visit this +afternoon?' + +'Yes. And I will say something more, if you will step with me into +the next room.' + +With a reassuring kiss on the lips of the frightened Bella, her +husband (to whom Mr Inspector obligingly offered his arm), took +up a candle, and withdrew with that gentleman. They were a full +half-hour in conference. When they returned, Mr Inspector +looked considerably astonished. + +'I have invited this worthy officer, my dear,' said John, 'to make a +short excursion with me in which you shall be a sharer. He will +take something to eat and drink, I dare say, on your invitation, +while you are getting your bonnet on.' + +Mr Inspector declined eating, but assented to the proposal of a +glass of brandy and water. Mixing this cold, and pensively +consuming it, he broke at intervals into such soliloquies as that he +never did know such a move, that he never had been so gravelled, +and that what a game was this to try the sort of stuff a man's +opinion of himself was made of! Concurrently with these +comments, he more than once burst out a laughing, with the half- +enjoying and half-piqued air of a man, who had given up a good +conundrum, after much guessing, and been told the answer. Bella +was so timid of him, that she noted these things in a half- +shrinking, half-perceptive way, and similarly noted that there was +a great change in his manner towards John. That coming-along- +with-him deportment was now lost in long musing looks at John +and at herself and sometimes in slow heavy rubs of his hand +across his forehead, as if he were ironing cut the creases which his +deep pondering made there. He had had some coughing and +whistling satellites secretly gravitating towards him about the +premises, but they were now dismissed, and he eyed John as if he +had meant to do him a public service, but had unfortunately been +anticipated. Whether Bella might have noted anything more, if she +had been less afraid of him, she could not determine; but it was all +inexplicable to her, and not the faintest flash of the real state of the +case broke in upon her mind. Mr Inspector's increased notice of +herself and knowing way of raising his eyebrows when their eyes +by any chance met, as if he put the question 'Don't you see?' +augmented her timidity, and, consequently, her perplexity. For all +these reasons, when he and she and John, at towards nine o'clock +of a winter evening went to London, and began driving from +London Bridge, among low-lying water-side wharves and docks +and strange places, Bella was in the state of a dreamer; perfectly +unable to account for her being there, perfectly unable to forecast +what would happen next, or whither she was going, or why; certain +of nothing in the immediate present, but that she confided in John, +and that John seemed somehow to be getting more triumphant. +But what a certainty was that! + +They alighted at last at the corner of a court, where there was a +building with a bright lamp and wicket gate. Its orderly +appearance was very unlike that of the surrounding neighbourhood, +and was explained by the inscription POLICE STATION. + +'We are not going in here, John?' said Bella, clinging to him. + +'Yes, my dear; but of our own accord. We shall come out again as +easily, never fear.' + +The whitewashed room was pure white as of old, the methodical +book-keeping was in peaceful progress as of old, and some distant +howler was banging against a cell door as of old. The sanctuary +was not a permanent abiding-place, but a kind of criminal +Pickford's. The lower passions and vices were regularly ticked off +in the books, warehoused in the cells, carted away as per +accompanying invoice, and left little mark upon it. + +Mr Inspector placed two chairs for his visitors, before the fire, and +communed in a low voice with a brother of his order (also of a +half-pay, and Royal Arms aspect), who, judged only by his +occupation at the moment, might have been a writing-master, +setting copies. Their conference done, Mr Inspector returned to the +fireplace, and, having observed that he would step round to the +Fellowships and see how matters stood, went out. He soon came +back again, saying, 'Nothing could be better, for they're at supper +with Miss Abbey in the bar;' and then they all three went out +together. + +Still, as in a dream, Bella found herself entering a snug old- +fashioned public-house, and found herself smuggled into a little +three-cornered room nearly opposite the bar of that establishment. +Mr Inspector achieved the smuggling of herself and John into this +queer room, called Cosy in an inscription on the door, by entering +in the narrow passage first in order, and suddenly turning round +upon them with extended arms, as if they had been two sheep. The +room was lighted for their reception. + +'Now,' said Mr Inspector to John, turning the gas lower; 'I'll mix +with 'em in a casual way, and when I say Identification, perhaps +you'll show yourself.' + +John nodded, and Mr Inspector went alone to the half-door of the +bar. From the dim doorway of Cosy, within which Bella and her +husband stood, they could see a comfortable little party of three +persons sitting at supper in the bar, and could hear everything that +was said. + +The three persons were Miss Abbey and two male guests. To +whom collectively, Mr Inspector remarked that the weather was +getting sharp for the time of year. + +'It need be sharp to suit your wits, sir,' said Miss Abbey. 'What +have you got in hand now?' + +'Thanking you for your compliment: not much, Miss Abbey,' was +Mr Inspector's rejoinder. + +'Who have you got in Cosy?' asked Miss Abbey. + +'Only a gentleman and his wife, Miss.' + +'And who are they? If one may ask it without detriment to your +deep plans in the interests of the honest public?' said Miss Abbey, +proud of Mr Inspector as an administrative genius. + +'They are strangers in this part of the town, Miss Abbey. They are +waiting till I shall want the gentleman to show himself +somewhere, for half a moment.' + +'While they're waiting,' said Miss Abbey, 'couldn't you join us?' + +Mr Inspector immediately slipped into the bar, and sat down at the +side of the half-door, with his back towards the passage, and +directly facing the two guests. 'I don't take my supper till later in +the night,' said he, 'and therefore I won't disturb the compactness +of the table. But I'll take a glass of flip, if that's flip in the jug in +the fender.' + +'That's flip,' replied Miss Abbey, 'and it's my making, and if even +you can find out better, I shall be glad to know where.' Filling +him, with hospitable hands, a steaming tumbler, Miss Abbey +replaced the jug by the fire; the company not having yet arrived at +the flip-stage of their supper, but being as yet skirmishing with +strong ale. + +'Ah--h!' cried Mr Inspector. 'That's the smack! There's not a +Detective in the Force, Miss Abbey, that could find out better stuff +than that.' + +'Glad to hear you say so,' rejoined Miss Abbey. 'You ought to +know, if anybody does.' + +'Mr Job Potterson,' Mr Inspector continued, 'I drink your health. +Mr Jacob Kibble, I drink yours. Hope you have made a prosperous +voyage home, gentlemen both.' + +Mr Kibble, an unctuous broad man of few words and many +mouthfuls, said, more briefly than pointedly, raising his ale to his +lips: 'Same to you.' Mr Job Potterson, a semi-seafaring man of +obliging demeanour, said, 'Thank you, sir.' + +'Lord bless my soul and body!' cried Mr Inspector. 'Talk of trades, +Miss Abbey, and the way they set their marks on men' (a subject +which nobody had approached); 'who wouldn't know your brother +to be a Steward! There's a bright and ready twinkle in his eye, +there's a neatness in his action, there's a smartness in his figure, +there's an air of reliability about him in case you wanted a basin, +which points out the steward! And Mr Kibble; ain't he Passenger, +all over? While there's that mercantile cut upon him which would +make you happy to give him credit for five hundred pound, don't +you see the salt sea shining on him too?' + +'YOU do, I dare say,' returned Miss Abbey, 'but I don't. And as for +stewarding, I think it's time my brother gave that up, and took his +House in hand on his sister's retiring. The House will go to pieces +if he don't. I wouldn't sell it for any money that could be told out, +to a person that I couldn't depend upon to be a Law to the Porters, +as I have been.' + +'There you're right, Miss,' said Mr Inspector. 'A better kept house +is not known to our men. What do I say? Half so well a kept +house is not known to our men. Show the Force the Six Jolly +Fellowship Porters, and the Force--to a constable--will show you a +piece of perfection, Mr Kibble.' + +That gentleman, with a very serious shake of his head, subscribed +the article. + +'And talk of Time slipping by you, as if it was an animal at rustic +sports with its tail soaped,' said Mr Inspector (again, a subject +which nobody had approached); 'why, well you may. Well you +may. How has it slipped by us, since the time when Mr Job +Potterson here present, Mr Jacob Kibble here present, and an +Officer of the Force here present, first came together on a matter of +Identification!' + +Bella's husband stepped softly to the half-door of the bar, and stood +there. + +'How has Time slipped by us,' Mr Inspector went on slowly, with +his eyes narrowly observant of the two guests, 'since we three very +men, at an Inquest in this very house--Mr Kibble? Taken ill, sir?' + +Mr Kibble had staggered up, with his lower jaw dropped, catching +Potterson by the shoulder, and pointing to the half-door. He now +cried out: 'Potterson! Look! Look there!' Potterson started up, +started back, and exclaimed: 'Heaven defend us, what's that!' +Bella's husband stepped back to Bella, took her in his arms (for she +was terrified by the unintelligible terror of the two men), and shut +the door of the little room. A hurry of voices succeeded, in which +Mr Inspector's voice was busiest; it gradually slackened and sank; +and Mr Inspector reappeared. 'Sharp's the word, sir!' he said, +looking in with a knowing wink. 'We'll get your lady out at once.' +Immediately, Bella and her husband were under the stars, making +their way back, alone, to the vehicle they had kept in waiting. + +All this was most extraordinary, and Bella could make nothing of +it but that John was in the right. How in the right, and how +suspected of being in the wrong, she could not divine. Some +vague idea that he had never really assumed the name of Handford, +and that there was a remarkable likeness between him and that +mysterious person, was her nearest approach to any definite +explanation. But John was triumphant; that much was made +apparent; and she could wait for the rest. + +When John came home to dinner next day, he said, sitting down on +the sofa by Bella and baby-Bella: 'My dear, I have a piece of news +to tell you. I have left the China House.' + +As he seemed to like having left it, Bella took it for granted that +there was no misfortune in the case. + +'In a word, my love,' said John, 'the China House is broken up and +abolished. There is no such thing any more.' + +'Then, are you already in another House, John?' + +'Yes, my darling. I am in another way of business. And I am +rather better off.' + +The inexhaustible baby was instantly made to congratulate him, +and to say, with appropriate action on the part of a very limp arm +and a speckled fist: 'Three cheers, ladies and gemplemorums. +Hoo--ray!' + +'I am afraid, my life,' said John, 'that you have become very much +attached to this cottage?' + +'Afraid I have, John? Of course I have.' + +'The reason why I said afraid,' returned John, 'is, because we must +move.' + +'O John!' + +'Yes, my dear, we must move. We must have our head-quarters in +London now. In short, there's a dwelling-house rent-free, attached +to my new position, and we must occupy it.' + +'That's a gain, John.' + +'Yes, my dear, it is undoubtedly a gain.' + +He gave her a very blithe look, and a very sly look. Which +occasioned the inexhaustible baby to square at him with the +speckled fists, and demand in a threatening manner what he +meant? + +'My love, you said it was a gain, and I said it was a gain. A very +innocent remark, surely.' + +'I won't,' said the inexhaustible baby, '--allow--you--to--make-- +game--of--my--venerable--Ma.' At each division administering a +soft facer with one of the speckled fists. + +John having stooped down to receive these punishing visitations, +Bella asked him, would it be necessary to move soon? Why yes, +indeed (said John), he did propose that they should move very +soon. Taking the furniture with them, of course? (said Bella). +Why, no (said John), the fact was, that the house was--in a sort of +a kind of a way--furnished already. + +The inexhaustible baby, hearing this, resumed the offensive, and +said: 'But there's no nursery for me, sir. What do you mean, +marble-hearted parent?' To which the marble-hearted parent +rejoined that there was a--sort of a kind of a--nursery, and it might +be 'made to do'. 'Made to do?' returned the Inexhaustible, +administering more punishment, 'what do you take me for?' And +was then turned over on its back in Bella's lap, and smothered with +kisses. + +'But really, John dear,' said Bella, flushed in quite a lovely manner +by these exercises, 'will the new house, just as it stands, do for +baby? That's the question.' + +'I felt that to be the question,' he returned, 'and therefore I arranged +that you should come with me and look at it, to-morrow morning.' +Appointment made, accordingly, for Bella to go up with him to- +morrow morning; John kissed; and Bella delighted. + +When they reached London in pursuance of their little plan, they +took coach and drove westward. Not only drove westward, but +drove into that particular westward division, which Bella had seen +last when she turned her face from Mr Boffin's door. Not only +drove into that particular division, but drove at last into that very +street. Not only drove into that very street, but stopped at last at +that very house. + +'John dear!' cried Bella, looking out of window in a flutter. 'Do you +see where we are?' + +'Yes, my love. The coachman's quite right.' + +The house-door was opened without any knocking or ringing, and +John promptly helped her out. The servant who stood holding the +door, asked no question of John, neither did he go before them or +follow them as they went straight up-stairs. It was only her +husband's encircling arm, urging her on, that prevented Bella from +stopping at the foot of the staircase. As they ascended, it was seen +to be tastefully ornamented with most beautiful flowers. + +'O John!' said Bella, faintly. 'What does this mean?' + +'Nothing, my darling, nothing. Let us go on.' + +Going on a little higher, they came to a charming aviary, in which +a number of tropical birds, more gorgeous in colour than the +flowers, were flying about; and among those birds were gold and +silver fish, and mosses, and water-lilies, and a fountain, and all +manner of wonders. + +'O my dear John!' said Bella. 'What does this mean?' + +'Nothing, my darling, nothing. Let us go on.' + +They went on, until they came to a door. As John put out his hand +to open it, Bella caught his hand. + +'I don't know what it means, but it's too much for me. Hold me, +John, love.' + +John caught her up in his arm, and lightly dashed into the room +with her. + +Behold Mr and Mrs Boffin, beaming! Behold Mrs Boffin clapping +her hands in an ecstacy, running to Bella with tears of joy pouring +down her comely face, and folding her to her breast, with the +words: 'My deary deary, deary girl, that Noddy and me saw +married and couldn't wish joy to, or so much as speak to! My +deary, deary, deary, wife of John and mother of his little child! My +loving loving, bright bright, Pretty Pretty! Welcome to your house +and home, my deary!' + + + +Chapter 13 + +SHOWING HOW THE GOLDEN DUSTMAN HELPED TO SCATTER DUST + + +In all the first bewilderment of her wonder, the most bewilderingly +wonderful thing to Bella was the shining countenance of Mr +Boffin. That his wife should be joyous, open-hearted, and genial, +or that her face should express every quality that was large and +trusting, and no quality that was little or mean, was accordant with +Bella's experience. But, that he, with a perfectly beneficent air and +a plump rosy face, should be standing there, looking at her and +John, like some jovial good spirit, was marvellous. For, how had +he looked when she last saw him in that very room (it was the +room in which she had given him that piece of her mind at +parting), and what had become of all those crooked lines of +suspicion, avarice, and distrust, that twisted his visage then? + +Mrs Boffin seated Bella on the large ottoman, and seated herself +beside her, and John her husband seated himself on the other side +of her, and Mr Boffin stood beaming at every one and everything +he could see, with surpassing jollity and enjoyment. Mrs Boffin +was then taken with a laughing fit of clapping her hands, and +clapping her knees, and rocking herself to and fro, and then with +another laughing fit of embracing Bella, and rocking her to and +fro--both fits, of considerable duration. + +'Old lady, old lady,' said Mr Boffin, at length; 'if you don't begin +somebody else must.' + +'I'm a going to begin, Noddy, my dear,' returned Mrs Boffin. 'Only +it isn't easy for a person to know where to begin, when a person is +in this state of delight and happiness. Bella, my dear. Tell me, +who's this?' + +'Who is this?' repeated Bella. 'My husband.' + +'Ah! But tell me his name, deary!' cried Mrs Boffin. + +'Rokesmith.' + +'No, it ain't!' cried Mrs Boffin, clapping her hands, and shaking her +head. 'Not a bit of it.' + +'Handford then,' suggested Bella. + +'No, it ain't!' cried Mrs Boffin, again clapping her hands and +shaking her head. 'Not a bit of it.' + +'At least, his name is John, I suppose?' said Bella. + +'Ah! I should think so, deary!' cried Mrs Boffin. 'I should hope so! +Many and many is the time I have called him by his name of John. +But what's his other name, his true other name? Give a guess, my +pretty!' + +'I can't guess,' said Bella, turning her pale face from one to +another. + +'I could,' cried Mrs Boffin, 'and what's more, I did! I found him +out, all in a flash as I may say, one night. Didn't I, Noddy?' + +'Ay! That the old lady did!' said Mr Boffin, with stout pride in the +circumstance. + +'Harkee to me, deary,' pursued Mrs Boffin, taking Bella's hands +between her own, and gently beating on them from time to time. 'It +was after a particular night when John had been disappointed--as +he thought--in his affections. It was after a night when John had +made an offer to a certain young lady, and the certain young lady +had refused it. It was after a particular night, when he felt himself +cast-away-like, and had made up his mind to go seek his fortune. +It was the very next night. My Noddy wanted a paper out of his +Secretary's room, and I says to Noddy, "I am going by the door, +and I'll ask him for it." I tapped at his door, and he didn't hear me. +I looked in, and saw him a sitting lonely by his fire, brooding over +it. He chanced to look up with a pleased kind of smile in my +company when he saw me, and then in a single moment every +grain of the gunpowder that had been lying sprinkled thick about +him ever since I first set eyes upon him as a man at the Bower, +took fire! Too many a time had I seen him sitting lonely, when he +was a poor child, to be pitied, heart and hand! Too many a time +had I seen him in need of being brightened up with a comforting +word! Too many and too many a time to be mistaken, when that +glimpse of him come at last! No, no! I just makes out to cry, "I +know you now! You're John!" And he catches me as I drops.--So +what,' says Mrs Boffin, breaking off in the rush of her speech to +smile most radiantly, 'might you think by this time that your +husband's name was, dear?' + +'Not,' returned Bella, with quivering lips; 'not Harmon? That's not +possible?' + +'Don't tremble. Why not possible, deary, when so many things are +possible?' demanded Mrs Boffin, in a soothing tone. + +'He was killed,' gasped Bella. + +'Thought to be,' said Mrs Boffin. 'But if ever John Harmon drew +the breath of life on earth, that is certainly John Harmon's arm +round your waist now, my pretty. If ever John Harmon had a wife +on earth, that wife is certainly you. If ever John Harmon and his +wife had a child on earth, that child is certainly this.' + +By a master-stroke of secret arrangement, the inexhaustible baby +here appeared at the door, suspended in mid-air by invisible +agency. Mrs Boffin, plunging at it, brought it to Bella's lap, where +both Mrs and Mr Boffin (as the saying is) 'took it out of' the +Inexhaustible in a shower of caresses. It was only this timely +appearance that kept Bella from swooning. This, and her +husband's earnestness in explaining further to her how it had come +to pass that he had been supposed to be slain, and had even been +suspected of his own murder; also, how he had put a pious fraud +upon her which had preyed upon his mind, as the time for its +disclosure approached, lest she might not make full allowance for +the object with which it had originated, and in which it had fully +developed. + +'But bless ye, my beauty!' cried Mrs Boffin, taking him up short at +this point, with another hearty clap of her hands. 'It wasn't John +only that was in it. We was all of us in it.' + +'I don't,' said Bella, looking vacantly from one to another, 'yet +understand--' + +'Of course you don't, my deary,' exclaimed Mrs Boffin. 'How can +you till you're told! So now I am a going to tell you. So you put +your two hands between my two hands again,' cried the +comfortable creature, embracing her, 'with that blessed little picter +lying on your lap, and you shall be told all the story. Now, I'm a +going to tell the story. Once, twice, three times, and the horses is +off. Here they go! When I cries out that night, "I know you now, +you're John! "--which was my exact words; wasn't they, John?' + +'Your exact words,' said John, laying his hand on hers. + +'That's a very good arrangement,' cried Mrs Boffin. 'Keep it there, +John. And as we was all of us in it, Noddy you come and lay yours +a top of his, and we won't break the pile till the story's done.' + +Mr Boffin hitched up a chair, and added his broad brown right +hand to the heap. + +'That's capital!' said Mrs Boffin, giving it a kiss. 'Seems quite a +family building; don't it? But the horses is off. Well! When I +cries out that night, "I know you now! you're John!" John catches +of me, it is true; but I ain't a light weight, bless ye, and he's forced +to let me down. Noddy, he hears a noise, and in he trots, and as +soon as I anyways comes to myself I calls to him, "Noddy, well I +might say as I did say, that night at the Bower, for the Lord be +thankful this is John!" On which he gives a heave, and down he +goes likewise, with his head under the writing-table. This brings +me round comfortable, and that brings him round comfortable, and +then John and him and me we all fall a crying for joy.' + +'Yes! They cry for joy, my darling,' her husband struck in. 'You +understand? These two, whom I come to life to disappoint and +dispossess, cry for joy!' + +Bella looked at him confusedly, and looked again at Mrs Boffin's +radiant face. + +'That's right, my dear, don't you mind him,' said Mrs Boffin, 'stick +to me. Well! Then we sits down, gradually gets cool, and holds a +confabulation. John, he tells us how he is despairing in his mind +on accounts of a certain fair young person, and how, if I hadn't +found him out, he was going away to seek his fortune far and wide, +and had fully meant never to come to life, but to leave the property +as our wrongful inheritance for ever and a day. At which you +never see a man so frightened as my Noddy was. For to think that +he should have come into the property wrongful, however innocent, +and--more than that--might have gone on keeping it to his dying +day, turned him whiter than chalk.' + +'And you too,' said Mr Boffin. + +'Don't you mind him, neither, my deary,' resumed Mrs Boffin; +'stick to me. This brings up a confabulation regarding the certain +fair young person; when Noddy he gives it as his opinion that she +is a deary creetur. "She may be a leetle spoilt, and nat'rally spoilt," +he says, "by circumstances, but that's only the surface, and I lay my +life," he says, "that she's the true golden gold at heart." + +'So did you,' said Mr Boffin. + +'Don't you mind him a single morsel, my dear,' proceeded Mrs +Boffin, 'but stick to me. Then says John, O, if he could but prove +so! Then we both of us ups and says, that minute, "Prove so!"' + +With a start, Bella directed a hurried glance towards Mr Boffin. +But, he was sitting thoughtfully smiling at that broad brown hand +of his, and either didn't see it, or would take no notice of it. + +'"Prove it, John!" we says,' repeated Mrs Boffin. '"Prove it and +overcome your doubts with triumph, and be happy for the first time +in your life, and for the rest of your life." This puts John in a state, +to be sure. Then we says, "What will content you? If she was to +stand up for you when you was slighted, if she was to show herself +of a generous mind when you was oppressed, if she was to be +truest to you when you was poorest and friendliest, and all this +against her own seeming interest, how would that do?" "Do?" says +John, "it would raise me to the skies." "Then," says my Noddy, +"make your preparations for the ascent, John, it being my firm +belief that up you go!"' + +Bella caught Mr Boffin's twinkling eye for half an instant; but he +got it away from her, and restored it to his broad brown hand. + +'From the first, you was always a special favourite of Noddy's,' said +Mrs Boffin, shaking her head. 'O you were! And if I had been +inclined to be jealous, I don't know what I mightn't have done to +you. But as I wasn't--why, my beauty,' with a hearty laugh and an +embrace, 'I made you a special favourite of my own too. But the +horses is coming round the corner. Well! Then says my Noddy, +shaking his sides till he was fit to make 'em ache again: "Look out +for being slighted and oppressed, John, for if ever a man had a +hard master, you shall find me from this present time to be such to +you." And then he began!' cried Mrs Boffin, in an ecstacy of +admiration. 'Lord bless you, then he began! And how he DID +begin; didn't he!' + +Bella looked half frightened, and yet half laughed. + +'But, bless you,' pursued Mrs Boffin, 'if you could have seen him of +a night, at that time of it! The way he'd sit and chuckle over +himself! The way he'd say "I've been a regular brown bear to-day," +and take himself in his arms and hug himself at the thoughts of the +brute he had pretended. But every night he says to me: "Better +and better, old lady. What did we say of her? She'll come through +it, the true golden gold. This'll be the happiest piece of work we +ever done." And then he'd say, "I'll be a grislier old growler to- +morrow!" and laugh, he would, till John and me was often forced +to slap his back, and bring it out of his windpipes with a little +water.' + +Mr Boffin, with his face bent over his heavy hand, made no sound, +but rolled his shoulders when thus referred to, as if he were vastly +enjoying himself. + +'And so, my good and pretty,' pursued Mrs Boffin, 'you was +married, and there was we hid up in the church-organ by this +husband of yours; for he wouldn't let us out with it then, as was +first meant. "No," he says, "she's so unselfish and contented, that +I can't afford to be rich yet. I must wait a little longer." Then, +when baby was expected, he says, "She is such a cheerful, glorious +housewife that I can't afford to be rich yet. I must wait a little +longer." Then when baby was born, he says, "She is so much +better than she ever was, that I can't afford to be rich yet. I must +wait a little longer." And so he goes on and on, till I says outright, +"Now, John, if you don't fix a time for setting her up in her own +house and home, and letting us walk out of it, I'll turn Informer." +Then he says he'll only wait to triumph beyond what we ever +thought possible, and to show her to us better than even we ever +supposed; and he says, "She shall see me under suspicion of +having murdered myself, and YOU shall see how trusting and how +true she'll be." Well! Noddy and me agreed to that, and he was +right, and here you are, and the horses is in, and the story is done, +and God bless you my Beauty, and God bless us all!' + +The pile of hands dispersed, and Bella and Mrs Boffin took a good +long hug of one another: to the apparent peril of the inexhaustible +baby, lying staring in Bella's lap. + +'But IS the story done?' said Bella, pondering. 'Is there no more of +it?' + +'What more of it should there be, deary?' returned Mrs Boffin, full +of glee. + +'Are you sure you have left nothing out of it?' asked Bella. + +'I don't think I have,' said Mrs Boffin, archly. + +'John dear,' said Bella, 'you're a good nurse; will you please hold +baby?' Having deposited the Inexhaustible in his arms with those +words, Bella looked hard at Mr Boffin, who had moved to a table +where he was leaning his head upon his hand with his face turned +away, and, quietly settling herself on her knees at his side, and +drawing one arm over his shoulder, said: 'Please I beg your pardon, +and I made a small mistake of a word when I took leave of you +last. Please I think you are better (not worse) than Hopkins, better +(not worse) than Dancer, better (not worse) than Blackberry Jones, +better (not worse) than any of them! Please something more!' cried +Bella, with an exultant ringing laugh as she struggled with him +and forced him to turn his delighted face to hers. 'Please I have +found out something not yet mentioned. Please I don't believe you +are a hard-hearted miser at all, and please I don't believe you ever +for one single minute were!' + +At this, Mrs Boffin fairly screamed with rapture, and sat beating +her feet upon the floor, clapping her hands, and bobbing herself +backwards and forwards, like a demented member of some +Mandarin's family. + +'O, I understand you now, sir!' cried Bella. 'I want neither you nor +any one else to tell me the rest of the story. I can tell it to YOU, +now, if you would like to hear it.' + +'Can you, my dear?' said Mr Boffin. 'Tell it then.' + +'What?' cried Bella, holding him prisoner by the coat with both +hands. 'When you saw what a greedy little wretch you were the +patron of, you determined to show her how much misused and +misprized riches could do, and often had done, to spoil people; did +you? Not caring what she thought of you (and Goodness knows +THAT was of no consequence!) you showed her, in yourself, the +most detestable sides of wealth, saying in your own mind, "This +shallow creature would never work the truth out of her own weak +soul, if she had a hundred years to do it in; but a glaring instance +kept before her may open even her eyes and set her thinking." That +was what you said to yourself, was it, sir?' + +'I never said anything of the sort,' Mr Boffin declared in a state of +the highest enjoyment. + +'Then you ought to have said it, sir,' returned Bella, giving him two +pulls and one kiss, 'for you must have thought and meant it. You +saw that good fortune was turning my stupid head and hardening +my silly heart--was making me grasping, calculating, insolent, +insufferable--and you took the pains to be the dearest and kindest +fingerpost that ever was set up anywhere, pointing out the road +that I was taking and the end it led to. Confess instantly!' + +'John,' said Mr Boffin, one broad piece of sunshine from head to +foot, 'I wish you'd help me out of this.' + +'You can't be heard by counsel, sir,' returned Bella. 'You must +speak for yourself. Confess instantly!' + +'Well, my dear,' said Mr Boffin, 'the truth is, that when we did go +in for the little scheme that my old lady has pinted out, I did put it +to John, what did he think of going in for some such general +scheme as YOU have pinted out? But I didn't in any way so word +it, because I didn't in any way so mean it. I only said to John, +wouldn't it be more consistent, me going in for being a reg'lar +brown bear respecting him, to go in as a reg'lar brown bear all +round?' + +'Confess this minute, sir,' said Bella, 'that you did it to correct and +amend me!' + +'Certainly, my dear child,' said Mr Boffin, 'I didn't do it to harm +you; you may be sure of that. And I did hope it might just hint a +caution. Still, it ought to be mentioned that no sooner had my old +lady found out John, than John made known to her and me that he +had had his eye upon a thankless person by the name of Silas +Wegg. Partly for the punishment of which Wegg, by leading him +on in a very unhandsome and underhanded game that he was +playing, them books that you and me bought so many of together +(and, by-the-by, my dear, he wasn't Blackberry Jones, but +Blewberry) was read aloud to me by that person of the name of +Silas Wegg aforesaid.' + +Bella, who was still on her knees at Mr Boffin's feet, gradually +sank down into a sitting posture on the ground, as she meditated +more and more thoughtfully, with her eyes upon his beaming face. + +'Still,' said Bella, after this meditative pause, 'there remain two +things that I cannot understand. Mrs Boffin never supposed any +part of the change in Mr Boffin to be real; did she?--You never did; +did you?' asked Bella, turning to her. + +'No!' returned Mrs Boffin, with a most rotund and glowing +negative. + +'And yet you took it very much to heart,' said Bella. 'I remember +its making you very uneasy, indeed.' + +'Ecod, you see Mrs John has a sharp eye, John!' cried Mr Boffin, +shaking his head with an admiring air. 'You're right, my dear. +The old lady nearly blowed us into shivers and smithers, many +times.' + +'Why?' asked Bella. 'How did that happen, when she was in your +secret?' + +'Why, it was a weakness in the old lady,' said Mr Boffin; 'and yet, +to tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I'm rather +proud of it. My dear, the old lady thinks so high of me that she +couldn't abear to see and hear me coming out as a reg'lar brown +one. Couldn't abear to make-believe as I meant it! In consequence +of which, we was everlastingly in danger with her.' + +Mrs Boffin laughed heartily at herself; but a certain glistening in +her honest eyes revealed that she was by no means cured of that +dangerous propensity. + +'I assure you, my dear,' said Mr Boffin, 'that on the celebrated day +when I made what has since been agreed upon to be my grandest +demonstration--I allude to Mew says the cat, Quack quack says the +duck, and Bow-wow-wow says the dog--I assure you, my dear, +that on that celebrated day, them flinty and unbeliving words hit +my old lady so hard on my account, that I had to hold her, to +prevent her running out after you, and defending me by saying I +was playing a part.' + +Mrs Boffin laughed heartily again, and her eyes glistened again, +and it then appeared, not only that in that burst of sarcastic +eloquence Mr Boffin was considered by his two fellow- +conspirators to have outdone himself, but that in his own opinion it +was a remarkable achievement. 'Never thought of it afore the +moment, my dear!' he observed to Bella. 'When John said, if he +had been so happy as to win your affections and possess your +heart, it come into my head to turn round upon him with "Win her +affections and possess her heart! Mew says the cat, Quack quack +says the duck, and Bow-wow-wow says the dog." I couldn't tell +you how it come into my head or where from, but it had so much +the sound of a rasper that I own to you it astonished myself. I was +awful nigh bursting out a laughing though, when it made John +stare!' + +'You said, my pretty,' Mrs Boffin reminded Bella, 'that there was +one other thing you couldn't understand.' + +'O yes!' cried Bella, covering her face with her hands; 'but that I +never shall be able to understand as long as I live. It is, how John +could love me so when I so little deserved it, and how you, Mr and +Mrs Boffin, could be so forgetful of yourselves, and take such +pains and trouble, to make me a little better, and after all to help +him to so unworthy a wife. But I am very very grateful.' + +It was John Harmon's turn then--John Harmon now for good, and +John Rokesmith for nevermore--to plead with her (quite +unnecessarily) in behalf of his deception, and to tell her, over and +over again, that it had been prolonged by her own winning graces +in her supposed station of life. This led on to many interchanges of +endearment and enjoyment on all sides, in the midst of which the +Inexhaustible being observed staring, in a most imbecile manner, +on Mrs Boffin's breast, was pronounced to be supernaturally +intelligent as to the whole transaction, and was made to declare to +the ladies and gemplemorums, with a wave of the speckled fist +(with difficulty detached from an exceedingly short waist), 'I have +already informed my venerable Ma that I know all about it!' + +Then, said John Harmon, would Mrs John Harmon come and see +her house? And a dainty house it was, and a tastefully beautiful; +and they went through it in procession; the Inexhaustible on Mrs +Boffin's bosom (still staring) occupying the middle station, and +Mr Boffin bringing up the rear. And on Bella's exquisite toilette +table was an ivory casket, and in the casket were jewels the like of +which she had never dreamed of, and aloft on an upper floor was a +nursery garnished as with rainbows; 'though we were hard put to +it,' said John Harmon, 'to get it done in so short a time. + +The house inspected, emissaries removed the Inexhaustible, who +was shortly afterwards heard screaming among the rainbows; +whereupon Bella withdrew herself from the presence and +knowledge of gemplemorums, and the screaming ceased, and +smiling Peace associated herself with that young olive branch. + +'Come and look in, Noddy!' said Mrs Boffin to Mr Boffin. + +Mr Boffin, submitting to be led on tiptoe to the nursery door, +looked in with immense satisfaction, although there was nothing to +see but Bella in a musing state of happiness, seated in a little low +chair upon the hearth, with her child in her fair young arms, and +her soft eyelashes shading her eyes from the fire. + +'It looks as if the old man's spirit had found rest at last; don't it?' +said Mrs Boffin. + +'Yes, old lady.' + +'And as if his money had turned bright again, after a long long rust +in the dark, and was at last a beginning to sparkle in the sunlight?' + +'Yes, old lady.' + +'And it makes a pretty and a promising picter; don't it?' + +'Yes, old lady.' + +But, aware at the instant of a fine opening for a point, Mr Boffin +quenched that observation in this--delivered in the grisliest +growling of the regular brown bear. 'A pretty and a hopeful picter? +Mew, Quack quack, Bow-wow!' And then trotted silently +downstairs, with his shoulders in a state of the liveliest +commotion. + + + +Chapter 14 + +CHECKMATE TO THE FRIENDLY MOVE + + +Mr and Mrs John Harmon had so timed their taking possession of +their rightful name and their London house, that the event befel on +the very day when the last waggon-load of the last Mound was +driven out at the gates of Boffin's Bower. As it jolted away, Mr +Wegg felt that the last load was correspondingly removed from his +mind, and hailed the auspicious season when that black sheep, +Boffin, was to be closely sheared. + +Over the whole slow process of levelling the Mounds, Silas had +kept watch with rapacious eyes. But, eyes no less rapacious had +watched the growth of the Mounds in years bygone, and had +vigilantly sifted the dust of which they were composed. No +valuables turned up. How should there be any, seeing that the old +hard jailer of Harmony Jail had coined every waif and stray into +money, long before? + +Though disappointed by this bare result, Mr Wegg felt too sensibly +relieved by the close of the labour, to grumble to any great extent. +A foreman-representative of the dust contractors, purchasers of the +Mounds, had worn Mr Wegg down to skin and bone. This +supervisor of the proceedings, asserting his employers' rights to +cart off by daylight, nightlight, torchlight, when they would, must +have been the death of Silas if the work had lasted much longer. +Seeming never to need sleep himself, he would reappear, with a +tied-up broken head, in fantail hat and velveteen smalls, like an +accursed goblin, at the most unholy and untimely hours. Tired out +by keeping close ward over a long day's work in fog and rain, +Silas would have just crawled to bed and be dozing, when a +horrid shake and rumble under his pillow would announce an +approaching train of carts, escorted by this Demon of Unrest, to +fall to work again. At another time, he would be rumbled up out of +his soundest sleep, in the dead of the night; at another, would be +kept at his post eight-and-forty hours on end. The more his +persecutor besought him not to trouble himself to turn out, the +more suspicious was the crafty Wegg that indications had been +observed of something hidden somewhere, and that attempts were +on foot to circumvent him. So continually broken was his rest +through these means, that he led the life of having wagered to keep +ten thousand dog-watches in ten thousand hours, and looked +piteously upon himself as always getting up and yet never going to +bed. So gaunt and haggard had he grown at last, that his wooden +leg showed disproportionate, and presented a thriving appearance +in contrast with the rest of his plagued body, which might almost +have been termed chubby. + +However, Wegg's comfort was, that all his disagreeables were now +over, and that he was immediately coming into his property. Of +late, the grindstone did undoubtedly appear to have been whirling +at his own nose rather than Boffin's, but Boffin's nose was now to +be sharpened fine. Thus far, Mr Wegg had let his dusty friend off +lightly, having been baulked in that amiable design of frequently +dining with him, by the machinations of the sleepless dustman. He +had been constrained to depute Mr Venus to keep their dusty +friend, Boffin, under inspection, while he himself turned lank and +lean at the Bower. + +To Mr Venus's museum Mr Wegg repaired when at length the +Mounds were down and gone. It being evening, he found that +gentleman, as he expected, seated over his fire; but did not find +him, as he expected, floating his powerful mind in tea. + +'Why, you smell rather comfortable here!' said Wegg, seeming to +take it ill, and stopping and sniffing as he entered. + +'I AM rather comfortable, sir,' said Venus. + +'You don't use lemon in your business, do you?' asked Wegg, +sniffing again. + +'No, Mr Wegg,' said Venus. 'When I use it at all, I mostly use it in +cobblers' punch.' + +'What do you call cobblers' punch?' demanded Wegg, in a worse +humour than before. + +'It's difficult to impart the receipt for it, sir,' returned Venus, +'because, however particular you may be in allotting your +materials, so much will still depend upon the individual gifts, and +there being a feeling thrown into it. But the groundwork is gin.' + +'In a Dutch bottle?' said Wegg gloomily, as he sat himself down. + +'Very good, sir, very good!' cried Venus. 'Will you partake, sir?' + +'Will I partake?' returned Wegg very surlily. 'Why, of course I +will! WILL a man partake, as has been tormented out of his five +senses by an everlasting dustman with his head tied up! WILL he, +too! As if he wouldn't!' + +'Don't let it put you out, Mr Wegg. You don't seem in your usual +spirits.' + +'If you come to that, you don't seem in your usual spirits,' growled +Wegg. 'You seem to be setting up for lively.' + +This circumstance appeared, in his then state of mind, to give Mr +Wegg uncommon offence. + +'And you've been having your hair cut!' said Wegg, missing the +usual dusty shock. + +'Yes, Mr Wegg. But don't let that put you out, either.' + +'And I am blest if you ain't getting fat!' said Wegg, with +culminating discontent. 'What are you going to do next?' + +'Well, Mr Wegg,' said Venus, smiling in a sprightly manner, 'I +suspect you could hardly guess what I am going to do next.' + +'I don't want to guess,' retorted Wegg. 'All I've got to say is, that +it's well for you that the diwision of labour has been what it has +been. It's well for you to have had so light a part in this business, +when mine has been so heavy. You haven't had YOUR rest broke, +I'll be bound.' + +'Not at all, sir,' said Venus. 'Never rested so well in all my life, I +thank you.' + +'Ah!' grumbled Wegg, 'you should have been me. If you had been +me, and had been fretted out of your bed, and your sleep, and your +meals, and your mind, for a stretch of months together, you'd have +been out of condition and out of sorts.' + +'Certainly, it has trained you down, Mr Wegg,' said Venus, +contemplating his figure with an artist's eye. 'Trained you down +very low, it has! So weazen and yellow is the kivering upon your +bones, that one might almost fancy you had come to give a look-in +upon the French gentleman in the corner, instead of me.' + +Mr Wegg, glancing in great dudgeon towards the French +gentleman's corner, seemed to notice something new there, which +induced him to glance at the opposite corner, and then to put on his +glasses and stare at all the nooks and corners of the dim shop in +succession. + +'Why, you've been having the place cleaned up!' he exclaimed. + +'Yes, Mr Wegg. By the hand of adorable woman.' + +'Then what you're going to do next, I suppose, is to get married?' + +'That's it, sir.' + +Silas took off his glasses again--finding himself too intensely +disgusted by the sprightly appearance of his friend and partner to +bear a magnified view of him and made the inquiry: + +'To the old party?' + +'Mr Wegg!' said Venus, with a sudden flush of wrath. 'The lady in +question is not a old party.' + +'I meant,' exclaimed Wegg, testily, 'to the party as formerly +objected?' + +'Mr Wegg,' said Venus, 'in a case of so much delicacy, I must +trouble you to say what you mean. There are strings that must not +be played upon. No sir! Not sounded, unless in the most +respectful and tuneful manner. Of such melodious strings is Miss +Pleasant Riderhood formed.' + +'Then it IS the lady as formerly objected?' said Wegg. + +'Sir,' returned Venus with dignity, 'I accept the altered phrase. It is +the lady as formerly objected.' + +'When is it to come off?' asked Silas. + +'Mr Wegg,' said Venus, with another flush. 'I cannot permit it to +be put in the form of a Fight. I must temperately but firmly call +upon you, sir, to amend that question.' + +'When is the lady,' Wegg reluctantly demanded, constraining his ill +temper in remembrance of the partnership and its stock in trade, +'a going to give her 'and where she has already given her 'art?' + +'Sir,' returned Venus, 'I again accept the altered phrase, and with +pleasure. The lady is a going to give her 'and where she has +already given her 'art, next Monday.' + +'Then the lady's objection has been met?' said Silas. + +'Mr Wegg,' said Venus, 'as I did name to you, I think, on a former +occasion, if not on former occasions--' + +'On former occasions,' interrupted Wegg. + +'--What,' pursued Venus, 'what the nature of the lady's objection +was, I may impart, without violating any of the tender confidences +since sprung up between the lady and myself, how it has been met, +through the kind interference of two good friends of mine: one, +previously acquainted with the lady: and one, not. The pint was +thrown out, sir, by those two friends when they did me the great +service of waiting on the lady to try if a union betwixt the lady and +me could not be brought to bear--the pint, I say, was thrown out by +them, sir, whether if, after marriage, I confined myself to the +articulation of men, children, and the lower animals, it might not +relieve the lady's mind of her feeling respecting being as a lady-- +regarded in a bony light. It was a happy thought, sir, and it took +root.' + +'It would seem, Mr Venus,' observed Wegg, with a touch of +distrust, 'that you are flush of friends?' + +'Pretty well, sir,' that gentleman answered, in a tone of placid +mystery. 'So-so, sir. Pretty well.' + +'However,' said Wegg, after eyeing him with another touch of +distrust, 'I wish you joy. One man spends his fortune in one way, +and another in another. You are going to try matrimony. I mean to +try travelling.' + +'Indeed, Mr Wegg?' + +'Change of air, sea-scenery, and my natural rest, I hope may bring +me round after the persecutions I have undergone from the +dustman with his head tied up, which I just now mentioned. The +tough job being ended and the Mounds laid low, the hour is come +for Boffin to stump up. Would ten to-morrow morning suit you, +partner, for finally bringing Boffin's nose to the grindstone?' + +Ten to-morrow morning would quite suit Mr Venus for that +excellent purpose. + +'You have had him well under inspection, I hope?' said Silas. + +Mr Venus had had him under inspection pretty well every day. + +'Suppose you was just to step round to-night then, and give him +orders from me--I say from me, because he knows I won't be +played with--to be ready with his papers, his accounts, and his +cash, at that time in the morning?' said Wegg. 'And as a matter of +form, which will be agreeable to your own feelings, before we go +out (for I'll walk with you part of the way, though my leg gives +under me with weariness), let's have a look at the stock in trade.' + +Mr Venus produced it, and it was perfectly correct; Mr Venus +undertook to produce it again in the morning, and to keep tryst +with Mr Wegg on Boffin's doorstep as the clock struck ten. At a +certain point of the road between Clerkenwell and Boffin's house +(Mr Wegg expressly insisted that there should be no prefix to the +Golden Dustman's name) the partners separated for the night. + +It was a very bad night; to which succeeded a very bad morning. +The streets were so unusually slushy, muddy, and miserable, in the +morning, that Wegg rode to the scene of action; arguing that a man +who was, as it were, going to the Bank to draw out a handsome +property, could well afford that trifling expense. + +Venus was punctual, and Wegg undertook to knock at the door, +and conduct the conference. Door knocked at. Door opened. + +'Boffin at home?' + +The servant replied that MR Boffin was at home. + +'He'll do,' said Wegg, 'though it ain't what I call him.' + +The servant inquired if they had any appointment? + +'Now, I tell you what, young fellow,' said Wegg, 'I won't have it. +This won't do for me. I don't want menials. I want Boffin.' + +They were shown into a waiting-room, where the all-powerful +Wegg wore his hat, and whistled, and with his forefinger stirred up +a clock that stood upon the chimneypiece, until he made it strike. +In a few minutes they were shown upstairs into what used to be +Boffin's room; which, besides the door of entrance, had folding- +doors in it, to make it one of a suite of rooms when occasion +required. Here, Boffin was seated at a library-table, and here Mr +Wegg, having imperiously motioned the servant to withdraw, drew +up a chair and seated himself, in his hat, close beside him. Here, +also, Mr Wegg instantly underwent the remarkable experience of +having his hat twitched off his head and thrown out of a window, +which was opened and shut for the purpose. + +'Be careful what insolent liberties you take in that gentleman's +presence,' said the owner of the hand which had done this, 'or I will +throw you after it.' + +Wegg involuntarily clapped his hand to his bare head, and stared +at the Secretary. For, it was he addressed him with a severe +countenance, and who had come in quietly by the folding-doors. + +'Oh!' said Wegg, as soon as he recovered his suspended power of +speech. 'Very good! I gave directions for YOU to be dismissed. +And you ain't gone, ain't you? Oh! We'll look into this presently. +Very good!' + +'No, nor I ain't gone,' said another voice. + +Somebody else had come in quietly by the folding-doors. Turning +his head, Wegg beheld his persecutor, the ever-wakeful dustman, +accoutred with fantail hat and velveteen smalls complete. Who, +untying his tied-up broken head, revealed a head that was whole, +and a face that was Sloppy's. + +'Ha, ha, ha, gentlemen!' roared Sloppy in a peal of laughter, and +with immeasureable relish. 'He never thought as I could sleep +standing, and often done it when I turned for Mrs Higden! He +never thought as I used to give Mrs Higden the Police-news in +different voices! But I did lead him a life all through it, gentlemen, +I hope I really and truly DID!' Here, Mr Sloppy opening his mouth +to a quite alarming extent, and throwing back his head to peal +again, revealed incalculable buttons. + +'Oh!' said Wegg, slightly discomfited, but not much as yet: 'one +and one is two not dismissed, is it? Bof--fin! Just let me ask a +question. Who set this chap on, in this dress, when the carting +began? Who employed this fellow?' + +'I say!' remonstrated Sloppy, jerking his head forward. 'No fellows, +or I'll throw you out of winder!' + +Mr Boffin appeased him with a wave of his hand, and said: 'I +employed him, Wegg.' + +'Oh! You employed him, Boffin? Very good. Mr Venus, we raise +our terms, and we can't do better than proceed to business. Bof-- +fin! I want the room cleared of these two scum.' + +'That's not going to be done, Wegg,' replied Mr Boffin, sitting +composedly on the library-table, at one end, while the Secretary sat +composedly on it at the other. + +'Bof--fin! Not going to be done?' repeated Wegg. 'Not at your +peril?' + +'No, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, shaking his head good-humouredly. +'Not at my peril, and not on any other terms.' + +Wegg reflected a moment, and then said: 'Mr Venus, will you be +so good as hand me over that same dockyment?' + +'Certainly, sir,' replied Venus, handing it to him with much +politeness. 'There it is. Having now, sir, parted with it, I wish to +make a small observation: not so much because it is anyways +necessary, or expresses any new doctrine or discovery, as because +it is a comfort to my mind. Silas Wegg, you are a precious old +rascal.' + +Mr Wegg, who, as if anticipating a compliment, had been beating +time with the paper to the other's politeness until this unexpected +conclusion came upon him, stopped rather abruptly. + +'Silas Wegg,' said Venus, 'know that I took the liberty of taking Mr +Boffin into our concern as a sleeping partner, at a very early period +of our firm's existence. + +'Quite true,' added Mr Boffin; 'and I tested Venus by making him a +pretended proposal or two; and I found him on the whole a very +honest man, Wegg.' + +'So Mr Boffin, in his indulgence, is pleased to say,' Venus +remarked: 'though in the beginning of this dirt, my hands were not, +for a few hours, quite as clean as I could wish. But I hope I made +early and full amends.' + +'Venus, you did,' said Mr Boffin. 'Certainly, certainly, certainly.' + +Venus inclined his head with respect and gratitude. 'Thank you, +sir. I am much obliged to you, sir, for all. For your good opinion +now, for your way of receiving and encouraging me when I first +put myself in communication with you, and for the influence since +so kindly brought to bear upon a certain lady, both by yourself and +by Mr John Harmon.' To whom, when thus making mention of +him, he also bowed. + +Wegg followed the name with sharp ears, and the action with +sharp eyes, and a certain cringing air was infusing itself into his +bullying air, when his attention was re-claimed by Venus. + +'Everything else between you and me, Mr Wegg,' said Venus, 'now +explains itself, and you can now make out, sir, without further +words from me. But totally to prevent any unpleasantness or +mistake that might arise on what I consider an important point, to +be made quite clear at the close of our acquaintance, I beg the leave +of Mr Boffin and Mr John Harmon to repeat an observation which +I have already had the pleasure of bringing under your notice. You +are a precious old rascal!' + +'You are a fool,' said Wegg, with a snap of his fingers, 'and I'd +have got rid of you before now, if I could have struck out any way +of doing it. I have thought it over, I can tell you. You may go, and +welcome. You leave the more for me. Because, you know,' said +Wegg, dividing his next observation between Mr Boffin and Mr +Harmon, 'I am worth my price, and I mean to have it. This getting +off is all very well in its way, and it tells with such an anatomical +Pump as this one,' pointing out Mr Venus, 'but it won't do with a +Man. I am here to be bought off, and I have named my figure. +Now, buy me, or leave me.' + +'I'll leave you, Wegg, said Mr Boffin, laughing, 'as far as I am +concerned.' + +'Bof--fin!' replied Wegg, turning upon him with a severe air, 'I +understand YOUR new-born boldness. I see the brass underneath +YOUR silver plating. YOU have got YOUR nose out of joint. +Knowing that you've nothing at stake, you can afford to come the +independent game. Why, you're just so much smeary glass to see +through, you know! But Mr Harmon is in another sitiwation. +What Mr Harmon risks, is quite another pair of shoes. Now, I've +heerd something lately about this being Mr Harmon--I make out +now, some hints that I've met on that subject in the newspaper-- +and I drop you, Bof--fin, as beneath my notice. I ask Mr Harmon +whether he has any idea of the contents of this present paper?' + +'It is a will of my late father's, of more recent date than the will +proved by Mr Boffin (address whom again, as you have addressed +him already, and I'll knock you down), leaving the whole of his +property to the Crown,' said John Harmon, with as much +indifference as was compatible with extreme sternness. + +'Bight you are!' cried Wegg. 'Then,' screwing the weight of his +body upon his wooden leg, and screwing his wooden head very +much on one side, and screwing up one eye: 'then, I put the +question to you, what's this paper worth?' + +'Nothing,' said John Harmon. + +Wegg had repeated the word with a sneer, and was entering on +some sarcastic retort, when, to his boundless amazement, he found +himself gripped by the cravat; shaken until his teeth chattered; +shoved back, staggering, into a corner of the room; and pinned +there. + +'You scoundrel!' said John Harmon, whose seafaring hold was like +that of a vice. + +'You're knocking my head against the wall,' urged Silas faintly. + +'I mean to knock your head against the wall,' returned John +Harmon, suiting his action to his words, with the heartiest good +will; 'and I'd give a thousand pounds for leave to knock your brains +out. Listen, you scoundrel, and look at that Dutch bottle.' + +Sloppy held it up, for his edification. + +'That Dutch bottle, scoundrel, contained the latest will of the many +wills made by my unhappy self-tormenting father. That will gives +everything absolutely to my noble benefactor and yours, Mr Boffin, +excluding and reviling me, and my sister (then already dead of a +broken heart), by name. That Dutch bottle was found by my noble +benefactor and yours, after he entered on possession of the estate. +That Dutch bottle distressed him beyond measure, because, though +I and my sister were both no more, it cast a slur upon our memory +which he knew we had done nothing in our miserable youth, to +deserve. That Dutch bottle, therefore, he buried in the Mound +belonging to him, and there it lay while you, you thankless wretch, +were prodding and poking--often very near it, I dare say. His +intention was, that it should never see the light; but he was afraid +to destroy it, lest to destroy such a document, even with his great +generous motive, might be an offence at law. After the discovery +was made here who I was, Mr Boffin, still restless on the subject, +told me, upon certain conditions impossible for such a hound as +you to appreciate, the secret of that Dutch bottle. I urged upon him +the necessity of its being dug up, and the paper being legally +produced and established. The first thing you saw him do, and the +second thing has been done without your knowledge. +Consequently, the paper now rattling in your hand as I shake you-- +and I should like to shake the life out of you--is worth less than the +rotten cork of the Dutch bottle, do you understand?' + +Judging from the fallen countenance of Silas as his head wagged +backwards and forwards in a most uncomfortable manner, he did +understand. + +Now, scoundrel,' said John Harmon, taking another sailor-like turn +on his cravat and holding him in his corner at arms' length, 'I shall +make two more short speeches to you, because I hope they will +torment you. Your discovery was a genuine discovery (such as it +was), for nobody had thought of looking into that place. Neither +did we know you had made it, until Venus spoke to Mr Boffin, +though I kept you under good observation from my first appearance +here, and though Sloppy has long made it the chief occupation and +delight of his life, to attend you like your shadow. I tell you this, +that you may know we knew enough of you to persuade Mr Boffin +to let us lead you on, deluded, to the last possible moment, in order +that your disappointment might be the heaviest possible +disappointment. That's the first short speech, do you understand?' + +Here, John Harmon assisted his comprehension with another +shake. + +'Now, scoundrel,' he pursued, 'I am going to finish. You supposed +me just now, to be the possessor of my father's property.--So I am. +But through any act of my father's, or by any right I have? No. +Through the munificence of Mr Boffin. The conditions that he +made with me, before parting with the secret of the Dutch bottle, +were, that I should take the fortune, and that he should take his +Mound and no more. I owe everything I possess, solely to the +disinterestedness, uprightness, tenderness, goodness (there are no +words to satisfy me) of Mr and Mrs Boffin. And when, knowing +what I knew, I saw such a mud-worm as you presume to rise in +this house against this noble soul, the wonder is,' added John +Harmon through his clenched teeth, and with a very ugly turn +indeed on Wegg's cravat, 'that I didn't try to twist your head off, +and fling THAT out of window! So. That's the last short speech, +do you understand?' + +Silas, released, put his hand to his throat, cleared it, and looked as +if he had a rather large fishbone in that region. Simultaneously +with this action on his part in his corner, a singular, and on the +surface an incomprehensible, movement was made by Mr Sloppy: +who began backing towards Mr Wegg along the wall, in the +manner of a porter or heaver who is about to lift a sack of flour or +coals. + +'I am sorry, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, in his clemency, 'that my old +lady and I can't have a better opinion of you than the bad one we +are forced to entertain. But I shouldn't like to leave you, after all +said and done, worse off in life than I found you. Therefore say in +a word, before we part, what it'll cost to set you up in another +stall.' + +'And in another place,' John Harmon struck in. 'You don't come +outside these windows.' + +'Mr Boffin,' returned Wegg in avaricious humiliation: 'when I first +had the honour of making your acquaintance, I had got together a +collection of ballads which was, I may say, above price.' + +'Then they can't be paid for,' said John Harmon, 'and you had better +not try, my dear sir.' + +'Pardon me, Mr Boffin,' resumed Wegg, with a malignant glance in +the last speaker's direction, 'I was putting the case to you, who, if +my senses did not deceive me, put the case to me. I had a very +choice collection of ballads, and there was a new stock of +gingerbread in the tin box. I say no more, but would rather leave it +to you.' + +'But it's difficult to name what's right,' said Mr Boffin uneasily, +with his hand in his pocket, 'and I don't want to go beyond what's +right, because you really have turned out such a very bad fellow. +So artful, and so ungrateful you have been, Wegg; for when did I +ever injure you?' + +'There was also,' Mr Wegg went on, in a meditative manner, 'a +errand connection, in which I was much respected. But I would +not wish to be deemed covetous, and I would rather leave it to you, +Mr Boffin.' + +'Upon my word, I don't know what to put it at,' the Golden +Dustman muttered. + +'There was likewise,' resumed Wegg, 'a pair of trestles, for which +alone a Irish person, who was deemed a judge of trestles, offered +five and six--a sum I would not hear of, for I should have lost by it-- +and there was a stool, a umbrella, a clothes-horse, and a tray. But +I leave it to you, Mr Boffin.' + +The Golden Dustman seeming to be engaged in some abstruse +calculation, Mr Wegg assisted him with the following additional +items. + +'There was, further, Miss Elizabeth, Master George, Aunt Jane, +and Uncle Parker. Ah! When a man thinks of the loss of such +patronage as that; when a man finds so fair a garden rooted up by +pigs; he finds it hard indeed, without going high, to work it into +money. But I leave it wholly to you, sir.' + +Mr Sloppy still continued his singular, and on the surface his +incomprehensible, movement. + +'Leading on has been mentioned,' said Wegg with a melancholy +air, 'and it's not easy to say how far the tone of my mind may have +been lowered by unwholesome reading on the subject of Misers, +when you was leading me and others on to think you one yourself, +sir. All I can say is, that I felt my tone of mind a lowering at the +time. And how can a man put a price upon his mind! There was +likewise a hat just now. But I leave the ole to you, Mr Boffin.' + +'Come!' said Mr Boffin. 'Here's a couple of pound.' + +'In justice to myself, I couldn't take it, sir.' + +The words were but out of his mouth when John Harmon lifted his +finger, and Sloppy, who was now close to Wegg, backed to Wegg's +back, stooped, grasped his coat collar behind with both hands, and +deftly swung him up like the sack of flour or coals before +mentioned. A countenance of special discontent and amazement +Mr Wegg exhibited in this position, with his buttons almost as +prominently on view as Sloppy's own, and with his wooden leg in +a highly unaccommodating state. But, not for many seconds was +his countenance visible in the room; for, Sloppy lightly trotted out +with him and trotted down the staircase, Mr Venus attending to +open the street door. Mr Sloppy's instructions had been to deposit +his burden in the road; but, a scavenger's cart happening to stand +unattended at the corner, with its little ladder planted against the +wheel, Mr S. found it impossible to resist the temptation of +shooting Mr Silas Wegg into the cart's contents. A somewhat +difficult feat, achieved with great dexterity, and with a prodigious +splash. + + + +Chapter 15 + +WHAT WAS CAUGHT IN THE TRAPS THAT WERE SET + + +How Bradley Headstone had been racked and riven in his mind +since the quiet evening when by the river-side he had risen, as it +were, out of the ashes of the Bargeman, none but he could have +told. Not even he could have told, for such misery can only be felt. + +First, he had to bear the combined weight of the knowledge of +what he had done, of that haunting reproach that he might have +done it so much better, and of the dread of discovery. This was +load enough to crush him, and he laboured under it day and night. +It was as heavy on him in his scanty sleep, as in his red-eyed +waking hours. It bore him down with a dread unchanging +monotony, in which there was not a moment's variety. The +overweighted beast of burden, or the overweighted slave, can for +certain instants shift the physical load, and find some slight respite +even in enforcing additional pain upon such a set of muscles or +such a limb. Not even that poor mockery of relief could the +wretched man obtain, under the steady pressure of the infernal +atmosphere into which he had entered. + +Time went by, and no visible suspicion dogged him; time went by, +and in such public accounts of the attack as were renewed at +intervals, he began to see Mr Lightwood (who acted as lawyer for +the injured man) straying further from the fact, going wider of the +issue, and evidently slackening in his zeal. By degrees, a +glimmering of the cause of this began to break on Bradley's sight. +Then came the chance meeting with Mr Milvey at the railway +station (where he often lingered in his leisure hours, as a place +where any fresh news of his deed would be circulated, or any +placard referring to it would be posted), and then he saw in the +light what he had brought about. + +For, then he saw that through his desperate attempt to separate +those two for ever, he had been made the means of uniting them. +That he had dipped his hands in blood, to mark himself a +miserable fool and tool. That Eugene Wrayburn, for his wife's +sake, set him aside and left him to crawl along his blasted course. +He thought of Fate, or Providence, or be the directing Power what +it might, as having put a fraud upon him--overreached him--and in +his impotent mad rage bit, and tore, and had his fit. + +New assurance of the truth came upon him in the next few +following days, when it was put forth how the wounded man had +been married on his bed, and to whom, and how, though always in +a dangerous condition, he was a shade better. Bradley would far +rather have been seized for his murder, than he would have read +that passage, knowing himself spared, and knowing why. + +But, not to be still further defrauded and overreached--which he +would be, if implicated by Riderhood, and punished by the law for +his abject failure, as though it had been a success--he kept close in +his school during the day, ventured out warily at night, and went +no more to the railway station. He examined the advertisements in +the newspapers for any sign that Riderhood acted on his hinted +threat of so summoning him to renew their acquaintance, but found +none. Having paid him handsomely for the support and +accommodation he had had at the Lock House, and knowing him +to be a very ignorant man who could not write, he began to doubt +whether he was to be feared at all, or whether they need ever meet +again. + +All this time, his mind was never off the rack, and his raging sense +of having been made to fling himself across the chasm which +divided those two, and bridge it over for their coming together, +never cooled down. This horrible condition brought on other fits. +He could not have said how many, or when; but he saw in the faces +of his pupils that they had seen him in that state, and that they +were possessed by a dread of his relapsing. + +One winter day when a slight fall of snow was feathering the sills +and frames of the schoolroom windows, he stood at his black +board, crayon in hand, about to commence with a class; when, +reading in the countenances of those boys that there was something +wrong, and that they seemed in alarm for him, he turned his eyes +to the door towards which they faced. He then saw a slouching +man of forbidding appearance standing in the midst of the school, +with a bundle under his arm; and saw that it was Riderhood. + +He sat down on a stool which one of his boys put for him, and he +had a passing knowledge that he was in danger of falling, and that +his face was becoming distorted. But, the fit went off for that time, +and he wiped his mouth, and stood up again. + +'Beg your pardon, governor! By your leave!' said Riderhood, +knuckling his forehead, with a chuckle and a leer. 'What place +may this be?' + +'This is a school.' + +'Where young folks learns wot's right?' said Riderhood, gravely +nodding. 'Beg your pardon, governor! By your leave! But who +teaches this school?' + +'I do.' + +'You're the master, are you, learned governor?' + +'Yes. I am the master.' + +'And a lovely thing it must be,' said Riderhood, 'fur to learn young +folks wot's right, and fur to know wot THEY know wot you do it. +Beg your pardon, learned governor! By your leave!--That there +black board; wot's it for?' + +'It is for drawing on, or writing on.' + +'Is it though!' said Riderhood. 'Who'd have thought it, from the +looks on it! WOULD you be so kind as write your name upon it, +learned governor?' (In a wheedling tone.) + +Bradley hesitated for a moment; but placed his usual signature, +enlarged, upon the board. + +'I ain't a learned character myself,' said Riderhood, surveying the +class, 'but I do admire learning in others. I should dearly like to +hear these here young folks read that there name off, from the +writing.' + +The arms of the class went up. At the miserable master's nod, the +shrill chorus arose: 'Bradley Headstone!' + +'No?' cried Riderhood. 'You don't mean it? Headstone! Why, +that's in a churchyard. Hooroar for another turn!' + +Another tossing of arms, another nod, and another shrill chorus: + +'Bradley Headstone!' + +'I've got it now!' said Riderhood, after attentively listening, and +internally repeating: 'Bradley. I see. Chris'en name, Bradley +sim'lar to Roger which is my own. Eh? Fam'ly name, Headstone, +sim'lar to Riderhood which is my own. Eh?' + +Shrill chorus. 'Yes!' + +'Might you be acquainted, learned governor,' said Riderhood, 'with +a person of about your own heighth and breadth, and wot 'ud pull +down in a scale about your own weight, answering to a name +sounding summat like Totherest?' + +With a desperation in him that made him perfectly quiet, though +his jaw was heavily squared; with his eyes upon Riderhood; and +with traces of quickened breathing in his nostrils; the schoolmaster +replied, in a suppressed voice, after a pause: 'I think I know the +man you mean.' + +'I thought you knowed the man I mean, learned governor. I want +the man.' + +With a half glance around him at his pupils, Bradley returned: + +'Do you suppose he is here?' + +'Begging your pardon, learned governor, and by your leave,' said +Riderhood, with a laugh, 'how could I suppose he's here, when +there's nobody here but you, and me, and these young lambs wot +you're a learning on? But he is most excellent company, that man, +and I want him to come and see me at my Lock, up the river.' + +'I'll tell him so.' + +'D'ye think he'll come?' asked Riderhood. + +'I am sure he will.' + +'Having got your word for him,' said Riderhood, 'I shall count +upon him. P'raps you'd so fur obleege me, learned governor, as tell +him that if he don't come precious soon, I'll look him up.' + +'He shall know it.' + +'Thankee. As I says a while ago,' pursued Riderhood, changing his +hoarse tone and leering round upon the class again, 'though not a +learned character my own self, I do admire learning in others, to be +sure! Being here and having met with your kind attention, Master, +might I, afore I go, ask a question of these here young lambs of +yourn?' + +'If it is in the way of school,' said Bradley, always sustaining his +dark look at the other, and speaking in his suppressed voice, 'you +may.' + +'Oh! It's in the way of school!' cried Riderhood. 'I'll pound it, +Master, to be in the way of school. Wot's the diwisions of water, +my lambs? Wot sorts of water is there on the land?' + +Shrill chorus: 'Seas, rivers, lakes, and ponds.' + +'Seas, rivers, lakes, and ponds,' said Riderhood. 'They've got all +the lot, Master! Blowed if I shouldn't have left out lakes, never +having clapped eyes upon one, to my knowledge. Seas, rivers, +lakes, and ponds. Wot is it, lambs, as they ketches in seas, rivers, +lakes, and ponds?' + +Shrill chorus (with some contempt for the ease of the question): + +'Fish!' + +'Good a-gin!' said Riderhood. 'But wot else is it, my lambs, as they +sometimes ketches in rivers?' + +Chorus at a loss. One shrill voice: 'Weed!' + +'Good agin!' cried Riderhood. 'But it ain't weed neither. You'll +never guess, my dears. Wot is it, besides fish, as they sometimes +ketches in rivers? Well! I'll tell you. It's suits o' clothes.' + +Bradley's face changed. + +'Leastways, lambs,' said Riderhood, observing him out of the +corners of his eyes, 'that's wot I my own self sometimes ketches in +rivers. For strike me blind, my lambs, if I didn't ketch in a river +the wery bundle under my arm!' + +The class looked at the master, as if appealing from the irregular +entrapment of this mode of examination. The master looked at the +examiner, as if he would have torn him to pieces. + +'I ask your pardon, learned governor,' said Riderhood, smearing his +sleeve across his mouth as he laughed with a relish, 'tain't fair to +the lambs, I know. It wos a bit of fun of mine. But upon my soul I +drawed this here bundle out of a river! It's a Bargeman's suit of +clothes. You see, it had been sunk there by the man as wore it, and +I got it up.' + +'How do you know it was sunk by the man who wore it?' asked +Bradley. + +'Cause I see him do it,' said Riderhood. + +They looked at each other. Bradley, slowly withdrawing his eyes, +turned his face to the black board and slowly wiped his name out. + +'A heap of thanks, Master,' said Riderhood, 'for bestowing so much +of your time, and of the lambses' time, upon a man as hasn't got no +other recommendation to you than being a honest man. Wishing to +see at my Lock up the river, the person as we've spoke of, and as +you've answered for, I takes my leave of the lambs and of their +learned governor both.' + +With those words, he slouched out of the school, leaving the +master to get through his weary work as he might, and leaving the +whispering pupils to observe the master's face until he fell into the +fit which had been long impending. + +The next day but one was Saturday, and a holiday. Bradley rose +early, and set out on foot for Plashwater Weir Mill Lock. He rose +so early that it was not yet light when he began his journey. Before +extinguishing the candle by which he had dressed himself, he +made a little parcel of his decent silver watch and its decent guard, +and wrote inside the paper: 'Kindly take care of these for me.' He +then addressed the parcel to Miss Peecher, and left it on the most +protected corner of the little seat in her little porch. + +It was a cold hard easterly morning when he latched the garden +gate and turned away. The light snowfall which had feathered his +schoolroom windows on the Thursday, still lingered in the air, and +was falling white, while the wind blew black. The tardy day did +not appear until he had been on foot two hours, and had traversed a +greater part of London from east to west. Such breakfast as he +had, he took at the comfortless public-house where he had parted +from Riderhood on the occasion of their night-walk. He took it, +standing at the littered bar, and looked loweringly at a man who +stood where Riderhood had stood that early morning. + +He outwalked the short day, and was on the towing-path by the +river, somewhat footsore, when the night closed in. Still two or +three miles short of the Lock, he slackened his pace then, but went +steadily on. The ground was now covered with snow, though +thinly, and there were floating lumps of ice in the more exposed +parts of the river, and broken sheets of ice under the shelter of the +banks. He took heed of nothing but the ice, the snow, and the +distance, until he saw a light ahead, which he knew gleamed from +the Lock House window. It arrested his steps, and he looked all +around. The ice, and the snow, and he, and the one light, had +absolute possession of the dreary scene. In the distance before +him, lay the place where he had struck the worse than useless +blows that mocked him with Lizzie's presence there as Eugene's +wife. In the distance behind him, lay the place where the children +with pointing arms had seemed to devote him to the demons in +crying out his name. Within there, where the light was, was the +man who as to both distances could give him up to ruin. To these +limits had his world shrunk. + +He mended his pace, keeping his eyes upon the light with a strange +intensity, as if he were taking aim at it. When he approached it so +nearly as that it parted into rays, they seemed to fasten themselves +to him and draw him on. When he struck the door with his hand, +his foot followed so quickly on his hand, that he was in the room +before he was bidden to enter. + +The light was the joint product of a fire and a candle. Between the +two, with his feet on the iron fender, sat Riderhood, pipe in mouth. + +He looked up with a surly nod when his visitor came in. His +visitor looked down with a surly nod. His outer clothing removed, +the visitor then took a seat on the opposite side of the fire. + +'Not a smoker, I think?' said Riderhood, pushing a bottle to him +across the table. + +'No.' + +They both lapsed into silence, with their eyes upon the fire. + +'You don't need to be told I am here,' said Bradley at length. 'Who +is to begin?' + +'I'll begin,' said Riderhood, 'when I've smoked this here pipe out.' + +He finished it with great deliberation, knocked out the ashes on the +hob, and put it by. + +'I'll begin,' he then repeated, 'Bradley Headstone, Master, if you +wish it.' + +'Wish it? I wish to know what you want with me.' + +'And so you shall.' Riderhood had looked hard at his hands and +his pockets, apparently as a precautionary measure lest he should +have any weapon about him. But, he now leaned forward, turning +the collar of his waistcoat with an inquisitive finger, and asked, +'Why, where's your watch?' + +'I have left it behind.' + +'I want it. But it can be fetched. I've took a fancy to it.' + +Bradley answered with a contemptuous laugh. + +'I want it,' repeated Riderhood, in a louder voice, 'and I mean to +have it.' + +'That is what you want of me, is it?' + +'No,' said Riderhood, still louder; 'it's on'y part of what I want of +you. I want money of you.' + +'Anything else?' + +'Everythink else!' roared Riderhood, in a very loud and furious +way. 'Answer me like that, and I won't talk to you at all.' + +Bradley looked at him. + +'Don't so much as look at me like that, or I won't talk to you at all,' +vociferated Riderhood. 'But, instead of talking, I'll bring my hand +down upon you with all its weight,' heavily smiting the table with +great force, 'and smash you!' + +'Go on,' said Bradley, after moistening his lips. + +'O! I'm a going on. Don't you fear but I'll go on full-fast enough +for you, and fur enough for you, without your telling. Look here, +Bradley Headstone, Master. You might have split the T'other +governor to chips and wedges, without my caring, except that I +might have come upon you for a glass or so now and then. Else +why have to do with you at all? But when you copied my clothes, +and when you copied my neckhankercher, and when you shook +blood upon me after you had done the trick, you did wot I'll be +paid for and paid heavy for. If it come to be throw'd upon you, you +was to be ready to throw it upon me, was you? Where else but in +Plashwater Weir Mill Lock was there a man dressed according as +described? Where else but in Plashwater Weir Mill Lock was +there a man as had had words with him coming through in his +boat? Look at the Lock-keeper in Plashwater Weir Mill Lock, in +them same answering clothes and with that same answering red +neckhankercher, and see whether his clothes happens to be bloody +or not. Yes, they do happen to be bloody. Ah, you sly devil!' + +Bradley, very white, sat looking at him in silence. + +'But two could play at your game,' said Riderhood, snapping his +fingers at him half a dozen times, 'and I played it long ago; long +afore you tried your clumsy hand at it; in days when you hadn't +begun croaking your lecters or what not in your school. I know to +a figure how you done it. Where you stole away, I could steal +away arter you, and do it knowinger than you. I know how you +come away from London in your own clothes, and where you +changed your clothes, and hid your clothes. I see you with my own +eyes take your own clothes from their hiding-place among them +felled trees, and take a dip in the river to account for your dressing +yourself, to any one as might come by. I see you rise up Bradley +Headstone, Master, where you sat down Bargeman. I see you pitch +your Bargeman's bundle into the river. I hooked your Bargeman's +bundle out of the river. I've got your Bargeman's clothes, tore this +way and that way with the scuffle, stained green with the grass, +and spattered all over with what bust from the blows. I've got +them, and I've got you. I don't care a curse for the T'other +governor, alive or dead, but I care a many curses for my own self. +And as you laid your plots agin me and was a sly devil agin me, I'll +be paid for it--I'll be paid for it--I'll be paid for it--till I've drained +you dry!' + +Bradley looked at the fire, with a working face, and was silent for a +while. At last he said, with what seemed an inconsistent +composure of voice and feature: + +'You can't get blood out of a stone, Riderhood.' + +'I can get money out of a schoolmaster though.' + +'You can't get out of me what is not in me. You can't wrest from +me what I have not got. Mine is but a poor calling. You have had +more than two guineas from me, already. Do you know how long +it has taken me (allowing for a long and arduous training) to earn +such a sum?' + +'I don't know, nor I don't care. Yours is a 'spectable calling. To +save your 'spectability, it's worth your while to pawn every article +of clothes you've got, sell every stick in your house, and beg and +borrow every penny you can get trusted with. When you've done +that and handed over, I'll leave you. Not afore.' + +'How do you mean, you'll leave me?' + +'I mean as I'll keep you company, wherever you go, when you go +away from here. Let the Lock take care of itself. I'll take care of +you, once I've got you.' + +Bradley again looked at the fire. Eyeing him aside, Riderhood took +up his pipe, refilled it, lighted it, and sat smoking. Bradley leaned +his elbows on his knees, and his head upon his hands, and looked +at the fire with a most intent abstraction. + +'Riderhood,' he said, raising himself in his chair, after a long +silence, and drawing out his purse and putting it on the table. 'Say +I part with this, which is all the money I have; say I let you have +my watch; say that every quarter, when I draw my salary, I pay you +a certain portion of it.' + +'Say nothink of the sort,' retorted Riderhood, shaking his head as +he smoked. 'You've got away once, and I won't run the chance +agin. I've had trouble enough to find you, and shouldn't have +found you, if I hadn't seen you slipping along the street overnight, +and watched you till you was safe housed. I'll have one settlement +with you for good and all.' + +'Riderhood, I am a man who has lived a retired life. I have no +resources beyond myself. I have absolutely no friends.' + +'That's a lie,' said Riderhood. 'You've got one friend as I knows of; +one as is good for a Savings-Bank book, or I'm a blue monkey!' + +Bradley's face darkened, and his hand slowly closed on the purse +and drew it back, as he sat listening for what the other should go +on to say. + +'I went into the wrong shop, fust, last Thursday,' said Riderhood. +'Found myself among the young ladies, by George! Over the young +ladies, I see a Missis. That Missis is sweet enough upon you, +Master, to sell herself up, slap, to get you out of trouble. Make her +do it then.' + +Bradley stared at him so very suddenly that Riderhood, not quite +knowing how to take it, affected to be occupied with the encircling +smoke from his pipe; fanning it away with his hand, and blowing +it off. + +'You spoke to the mistress, did you?' inquired Bradley, with that +former composure of voice and feature that seemed inconsistent, +and with averted eyes. + +'Poof! Yes,' said Riderhood, withdrawing his attention from the +smoke. 'I spoke to her. I didn't say much to her. She was put in a +fluster by my dropping in among the young ladies (I never did set +up for a lady's man), and she took me into her parlour to hope as +there was nothink wrong. I tells her, "O no, nothink wrong. The +master's my wery good friend." But I see how the land laid, and +that she was comfortable off.' + +Bradley put the purse in his pocket, grasped his left wrist with his +right hand, and sat rigidly contemplating the fire. + +'She couldn't live more handy to you than she does,' said +Riderhood, 'and when I goes home with you (as of course I am a +going), I recommend you to clean her out without loss of time. +You can marry her, arter you and me have come to a settlement. +She's nice-looking, and I know you can't be keeping company with +no one else, having been so lately disapinted in another quarter.' + +Not one other word did Bradley utter all that night. Not once did +he change his attitude, or loosen his hold upon his wrist. Rigid +before the fire, as if it were a charmed flame that was turning him +old, he sat, with the dark lines deepening in his face, its stare +becoming more and more haggard, its surface turning whiter and +whiter as if it were being overspread with ashes, and the very +texture and colour of his hair degenerating. + +Not until the late daylight made the window transparent, did this +decaying statue move. Then it slowly arose, and sat in the window +looking out. + +Riderhood had kept his chair all night. In the earlier part of the +night he had muttered twice or thrice that it was bitter cold; or that +the fire burnt fast, when he got up to mend it; but, as he could elicit +from his companion neither sound nor movement, he had +afterwards held his peace. He was making some disorderly +preparations for coffee, when Bradley came from the window and +put on his outer coat and hat. + +'Hadn't us better have a bit o' breakfast afore we start?' said +Riderhood. 'It ain't good to freeze a empty stomach, Master.' + +Without a sign to show that he heard, Bradley walked out of the +Lock House. Catching up from the table a piece of bread, and +taking his Bargeman's bundle under his arm, Riderhood +immediately followed him. Bradley turned towards London. +Riderhood caught him up, and walked at his side. + +The two men trudged on, side by side, in silence, full three miles. +Suddenly, Bradley turned to retrace his course. Instantly, +Riderhood turned likewise, and they went back side by side. + +Bradley re-entered the Lock House. So did Riderhood. Bradley sat +down in the window. Riderhood warmed himself at the fire. After +an hour or more, Bradley abruptly got up again, and again went +out, but this time turned the other way. Riderhood was close after +him, caught him up in a few paces, and walked at his side. + +This time, as before, when he found his attendant not to be shaken +off, Bradley suddenly turned back. This time, as before, Riderhood +turned back along with him. But, not this time, as before, did they +go into the Lock House, for Bradley came to a stand on the snow- +covered turf by the Lock, looking up the river and down the river. +Navigation was impeded by the frost, and the scene was a mere +white and yellow desert. + +'Come, come, Master,' urged Riderhood, at his side. 'This is a dry +game. And where's the good of it? You can't get rid of me, except +by coming to a settlement. I am a going along with you wherever +you go.' + +Without a word of reply, Bradley passed quickly from him over +the wooden bridge on the lock gates. 'Why, there's even less sense +in this move than t'other,' said Riderhood, following. 'The Weir's +there, and you'll have to come back, you know.' + +Without taking the least notice, Bradley leaned his body against a +post, in a resting attitude, and there rested with his eyes cast down. +'Being brought here,' said Riderhood, gruffly, 'I'll turn it to some +use by changing my gates.' With a rattle and a rush of water, he +then swung-to the lock gates that were standing open, before +opening the others. So, both sets of gates were, for the moment, +closed. + +'You'd better by far be reasonable, Bradley Headstone, Master,' +said Riderhood, passing him, 'or I'll drain you all the dryer for it, +when we do settle.--Ah! Would you!' + +Bradley had caught him round the body. He seemed to be girdled +with an iron ring. They were on the brink of the Lock, about +midway between the two sets of gates. + +'Let go!' said Riderhood, 'or I'll get my knife out and slash you +wherever I can cut you. Let go!' + +Bradley was drawing to the Lock-edge. Riderhood was drawing +away from it. It was a strong grapple, and a fierce struggle, arm +and leg. Bradley got him round, with his back to the Lock, and +still worked him backward. + +'Let go!' said Riderhood. 'Stop! What are you trying at? You can't +drown Me. Ain't I told you that the man as has come through +drowning can never be drowned? I can't be drowned.' + +'I can be!' returned Bradley, in a desperate, clenched voice. 'I am +resolved to be. I'll hold you living, and I'll hold you dead. Come +down!' + +Riderhood went over into the smooth pit, backward, and Bradley +Headstone upon him. When the two were found, lying under the +ooze and scum behind one of the rotting gates, Riderhood's hold +had relaxed, probably in falling, and his eyes were staring upward. +But, he was girdled still with Bradley's iron ring, and the rivets of +the iron ring held tight. + + + +Chapter 16 + +PERSONS AND THINGS IN GENERAL + + +Mr and Mrs John Harmon's first delightful occupation was, to set +all matters right that had strayed in any way wrong, or that might, +could, would, or should, have strayed in any way wrong, while +their name was in abeyance. In tracing out affairs for which John's +fictitious death was to be considered in any way responsible, they +used a very broad and free construction; regarding, for instance, the +dolls' dressmaker as having a claim on their protection, because of +her association with Mrs Eugene Wrayburn, and because of Mrs +Eugene's old association, in her turn, with the dark side of the +story. It followed that the old man, Riah, as a good and +serviceable friend to both, was not to be disclaimed. Nor even Mr +Inspector, as having been trepanned into an industrious hunt on a +false scent. It may be remarked, in connexion with that worthy +officer, that a rumour shortly afterwards pervaded the Force, to the +effect that he had confided to Miss Abbey Potterson, over a jug of +mellow flip in the bar of the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters, that he +'didn't stand to lose a farthing' through Mr Harmon's coming to +life, but was quite as well satisfied as if that gentleman had been +barbarously murdered, and he (Mr Inspector) had pocketed the +government reward. + +In all their arrangements of such nature, Mr and Mrs John Harmon +derived much assistance from their eminent solicitor, Mr Mortimer +Lightwood; who laid about him professionally with such unwonted +despatch and intention, that a piece of work was vigorously +pursued as soon as cut out; whereby Young Blight was acted on as +by that transatlantic dram which is poetically named An Eye- +Opener, and found himself staring at real clients instead of out of +window. The accessibility of Riah proving very useful as to a few +hints towards the disentanglement of Eugene's affairs, Lightwood +applied himself with infinite zest to attacking and harassing Mr +Fledgeby: who, discovering himself in danger of being blown into +the air by certain explosive transactions in which he had been +engaged, and having been sufficiently flayed under his beating, +came to a parley and asked for quarter. The harmless Twemlow +profited by the conditions entered into, though he little thought it. +Mr Riah unaccountably melted; waited in person on him over the +stable yard in Duke Street, St James's, no longer ravening but mild, +to inform him that payment of interest as heretofore, but henceforth +at Mr Lightwood's offices, would appease his Jewish rancour; and +departed with the secret that Mr John Harmon had advanced the +money and become the creditor. Thus, was the sublime +Snigsworth's wrath averted, and thus did he snort no larger amount +of moral grandeur at the Corinthian column in the print over the +fireplace, than was normally in his (and the British) constitution. + + +Mrs Wilfer's first visit to the Mendicant's bride at the new abode of +Mendicancy, was a grand event. Pa had been sent for into the +City, on the very day of taking possession, and had been stunned +with astonishment, and brought-to, and led about the house by +one ear, to behold its various treasures, and had been enraptured +and enchanted. Pa had also been appointed Secretary, and had +been enjoined to give instant notice of resignation to Chicksey, +Veneering, and Stobbles, for ever and ever. But Ma came later, +and came, as was her due, in state. + +The carriage was sent for Ma, who entered it with a bearing worthy +of the occasion, accompanied, rather than supported, by Miss +Lavinia, who altogether declined to recognize the maternal +majesty. Mr George Sampson meekly followed. He was received +in the vehicle, by Mrs Wilfer, as if admitted to the honour of +assisting at a funeral in the family, and she then issued the order, +'Onward!' to the Mendicant's menial. + +'I wish to goodness, Ma,' said Lavvy, throwing herself back among +the cushions, with her arms crossed, 'that you'd loll a little.' + +'How!' repeated Mrs Wilfer. 'Loll!' + +'Yes, Ma.' + +'I hope,' said the impressive lady, 'I am incapable of it.' + +'I am sure you look so, Ma. But why one should go out to dine +with one's own daughter or sister, as if one's under-petticoat was +a blackboard, I do NOT understand.' + +'Neither do I understand,' retorted Mrs Wilfer, with deep scorn, +'how a young lady can mention the garment in the name of which +you have indulged. I blush for you.' + +'Thank you, Ma,' said Lavvy, yawning, 'but I can do it for myself, I +am obliged to you, when there's any occasion.' + +Here, Mr Sampson, with the view of establishing harmony, which +he never under any circumstances succeeded in doing, said with an +agreeable smile: 'After all, you know, ma'am, we know it's there.' +And immediately felt that he had committed himself. + +'We know it's there!' said Mrs Wilfer, glaring. + +'Really, George,' remonstrated Miss Lavinia, 'I must say that I don't +understand your allusions, and that I think you might be more +delicate and less personal.' + +'Go it!' cried Mr Sampson, becoming, on the shortest notice, a prey +to despair. 'Oh yes! Go it, Miss Lavinia Wilfer!' + +'What you may mean, George Sampson, by your omnibus-driving +expressions, I cannot pretend to imagine. Neither,' said Miss +Lavinia, 'Mr George Sampson, do I wish to imagine. It is enough +for me to know in my own heart that I am not going to--' having +imprudently got into a sentence without providing a way out of it, +Miss Lavinia was constrained to close with 'going to it'. A weak +conclusion which, however, derived some appearance of strength +from disdain. + +'Oh yes!' cried Mr Sampson, with bitterness. 'Thus it ever is. I +never--' + +'If you mean to say,' Miss Lavvy cut him short, that you never +brought up a young gazelle, you may save yourself the trouble, +because nobody in this carriage supposes that you ever did. We +know you better.' (As if this were a home-thrust.) + +'Lavinia,' returned Mr Sampson, in a dismal vein, I did not mean to +say so. What I did mean to say, was, that I never expected to retain +my favoured place in this family, after Fortune shed her beams +upon it. Why do you take me,' said Mr Sampson, 'to the glittering +halls with which I can never compete, and then taunt me with my +moderate salary? Is it generous? Is it kind?' + +The stately lady, Mrs Wilfer, perceiving her opportunity of +delivering a few remarks from the throne, here took up the +altercation. + +'Mr Sampson,' she began, 'I cannot permit you to misrepresent the +intentions of a child of mine.' + +'Let him alone, Ma,' Miss Lavvy interposed with haughtiness. 'It +is indifferent to me what he says or does.' + +'Nay, Lavinia,' quoth Mrs Wilfer, 'this touches the blood of the +family. If Mr George Sampson attributes, even to my youngest +daughter--' + +('I don't see why you should use the word "even", Ma,' Miss Lavvy +interposed, 'because I am quite as important as any of the others.') + +'Peace!' said Mrs Wilfer, solemnly. 'I repeat, if Mr George +Sampson attributes, to my youngest daughter, grovelling motives, +he attributes them equally to the mother of my youngest daughter. +That mother repudiates them, and demands of Mr George +Sampson, as a youth of honour, what he WOULD have? I may be +mistaken--nothing is more likely--but Mr George Sampson,' +proceeded Mrs Wilfer, majestically waving her gloves, 'appears to +me to be seated in a first-class equipage. Mr George Sampson +appears to me to be on his way, by his own admission, to a +residence that may be termed Palatial. Mr George Sampson +appears to me to be invited to participate in the--shall I say the-- +Elevation which has descended on the family with which he is +ambitious, shall I say to Mingle? Whence, then, this tone on Mr +Sampson's part?' + +'It is only, ma'am,' Mr Sampson explained, in exceedingly low +spirits, 'because, in a pecuniary sense, I am painfully conscious of +my unworthiness. Lavinia is now highly connected. Can I hope +that she will still remain the same Lavinia as of old? And is it not +pardonable if I feel sensitive, when I see a disposition on her part +to take me up short?' + +'If you are not satisfied with your position, sir,' observed Miss +Lavinia, with much politeness, 'we can set you down at any turning +you may please to indicate to my sister's coachman.' + +'Dearest Lavinia,' urged Mr Sampson, pathetically, 'I adore you.' + +'Then if you can't do it in a more agreeable manner,' returned the +young lady, 'I wish you wouldn't.' + +'I also,' pursued Mr Sampson, 'respect you, ma'am, to an extent +which must ever be below your merits, I am well aware, but still +up to an uncommon mark. Bear with a wretch, Lavinia, bear with +a wretch, ma'am, who feels the noble sacrifices you make for him, +but is goaded almost to madness,' Mr Sampson slapped his +forehead, 'when he thinks of competing with the rich and +influential.' + +'When you have to compete with the rich and influential, it will +probably be mentioned to you,' said Miss Lavvy, 'in good time. At +least, it will if the case is MY case.' + +Mr Sampson immediately expressed his fervent Opinion that this +was 'more than human', and was brought upon his knees at Miss +Lavinia's feet. + +It was the crowning addition indispensable to the full enjoyment of +both mother and daughter, to bear Mr Sampson, a grateful captive, +into the glittering halls he had mentioned, and to parade him +through the same, at once a living witness of their glory, and a +bright instance of their condescension. Ascending the staircase, +Miss Lavinia permitted him to walk at her side, with the air of +saying: 'Notwithstanding all these surroundings, I am yours as yet, +George. How long it may last is another question, but I am yours +as yet.' She also benignantly intimated to him, aloud, the nature of +the objects upon which he looked, and to which he was +unaccustomed: as, 'Exotics, George,' 'An aviary, George,' 'An +ormolu clock, George,' and the like. While, through the whole of +the decorations, Mrs Wilfer led the way with the bearing of a +Savage Chief, who would feel himself compromised by +manifesting the slightest token of surprise or admiration. + +Indeed, the bearing of this impressive woman, throughout the day, +was a pattern to all impressive women under similar +circumstances. She renewed the acquaintance of Mr and Mrs +Boffin, as if Mr and Mrs Boffin had said of her what she had said +of them, and as if Time alone could quite wear her injury out. She +regarded every servant who approached her, as her sworn enemy, +expressly intending to offer her affronts with the dishes, and to +pour forth outrages on her moral feelings from the decanters. She +sat erect at table, on the right hand of her son-in-law, as half +suspecting poison in the viands, and as bearing up with native +force of character against other deadly ambushes. Her carriage +towards Bella was as a carriage towards a young lady of good +position, whom she had met in society a few years ago. Even +when, slightly thawing under the influence of sparkling +champagne, she related to her son-in-law some passages of +domestic interest concerning her papa, she infused into the +narrative such Arctic suggestions of her having been an +unappreciated blessing to mankind, since her papa's days, and also +of that gentleman's having been a frosty impersonation of a frosty +race, as struck cold to the very soles of the feet of the hearers. The +Inexhaustible being produced, staring, and evidently intending a +weak and washy smile shortly, no sooner beheld her, than it was +stricken spasmodic and inconsolable. When she took her leave at +last, it would have been hard to say whether it was with the air of +going to the scaffold herself, or of leaving the inmates of the house +for immediate execution. Yet, John Harmon enjoyed it all merrily, +and told his wife, when he and she were alone, that her natural +ways had never seemed so dearly natural as beside this foil, and +that although he did not dispute her being her father's daughter, he +should ever remain stedfast in the faith that she could not be her +mother's. + + +This visit was, as has been said, a grand event. Another event, not +grand but deemed in the house a special one, occurred at about the +same period; and this was, the first interview between Mr Sloppy +and Miss Wren. + +The dolls' dressmaker, being at work for the Inexhaustible upon a +full-dressed doll some two sizes larger than that young person, Mr +Sloppy undertook to call for it, and did so. + +'Come in, sir,' said Miss Wren, who was working at her bench. +'And who may you be?' + +Mr Sloppy introduced himself by name and buttons. + +'Oh indeed!' cried Jenny. 'Ah! I have been looking forward to +knowing you. I heard of your distinguishing yourself.' + +'Did you, Miss?' grinned Sloppy. 'I am sure I am glad to hear it, +but I don't know how.' + +'Pitching somebody into a mud-cart,' said Miss Wren. + +'Oh! That way!' cried Sloppy. 'Yes, Miss.' And threw back his +head and laughed. + +'Bless us!' exclaimed Miss Wren, with a start. 'Don't open your +mouth as wide as that, young man, or it'll catch so, and not shut +again some day.' + +Mr Sloppy opened it, if possible, wider, and kept it open until his +laugh was out. + +'Why, you're like the giant,' said Miss Wren, 'when he came home +in the land of Beanstalk, and wanted Jack for supper.' + +'Was he good-looking, Miss?' asked Sloppy. + +'No,' said Miss Wren. 'Ugly.' + +Her visitor glanced round the room--which had many comforts in it +now, that had not been in it before--and said: 'This is a pretty +place, Miss.' + +'Glad you think so, sir,' returned Miss Wren. 'And what do you +think of Me?' + +The honesty of Mr Sloppy being severely taxed by the question, he +twisted a button, grinned, and faltered. + +'Out with it!' said Miss Wren, with an arch look. 'Don't you think +me a queer little comicality?' In shaking her head at him after +asking the question, she shook her hair down. + +'Oh!' cried Sloppy, in a burst of admiration. 'What a lot, and what +a colour!' + +Miss Wren, with her usual expressive hitch, went on with her +work. But, left her hair as it was; not displeased by the effect it +had made. + +'You don't live here alone; do you, Miss?' asked Sloppy. + +'No,' said Miss Wren, with a chop. 'Live here with my fairy +godmother.' + +'With;' Mr Sloppy couldn't make it out; 'with who did you say, +Miss?' + +'Well!' replied Miss Wren, more seriously. 'With my second father. +Or with my first, for that matter.' And she shook her head, and +drew a sigh. 'If you had known a poor child I used to have here,' +she added, 'you'd have understood me. But you didn't, and you +can't. All the better!' + +'You must have been taught a long time,' said Sloppy, glancing at +the array of dolls in hand, 'before you came to work so neatly, +Miss, and with such a pretty taste.' + +'Never was taught a stitch, young man!' returned the dress-maker, +tossing her head. 'Just gobbled and gobbled, till I found out how +to do it. Badly enough at first, but better now.' + +'And here have I,' said Sloppy, in something of a self-reproachful +tone, 'been a learning and a learning, and here has Mr Boffin been +a paying and a paying, ever so long!' + +'I have heard what your trade is,' observed Miss Wren; 'it's +cabinet-making.' + +Mr Sloppy nodded. 'Now that the Mounds is done with, it is. I'll +tell you what, Miss. I should like to make you something.' + +'Much obliged. But what?' + +'I could make you,' said Sloppy, surveying the room, 'I could make +you a handy set of nests to lay the dolls in. Or I could make you a +handy little set of drawers, to keep your silks and threads and +scraps in. Or I could turn you a rare handle for that crutch-stick, if +it belongs to him you call your father.' + +'It belongs to me,' returned the little creature, with a quick flush of +her face and neck. 'I am lame.' + +Poor Sloppy flushed too, for there was an instinctive delicacy +behind his buttons, and his own hand had struck it. He said, +perhaps, the best thing in the way of amends that could be said. 'I +am very glad it's yours, because I'd rather ornament it for you than +for any one else. Please may I look at it?' + +Miss Wren was in the act of handing it to him over her bench, +when she paused. 'But you had better see me use it,' she said, +sharply. 'This is the way. Hoppetty, Kicketty, Pep-peg-peg. Not +pretty; is it?' + +'It seems to me that you hardly want it at all,' said Sloppy. + +The little dressmaker sat down again, and gave it into his hand, +saying, with that better look upon her, and with a smile: 'Thank +you!' + +'And as concerning the nests and the drawers,' said Sloppy, after +measuring the handle on his sleeve, and softly standing the stick +aside against the wall, 'why, it would be a real pleasure to me. I've +heerd tell that you can sing most beautiful; and I should be better +paid with a song than with any money, for I always loved the likes +of that, and often giv' Mrs Higden and Johnny a comic song +myself, with "Spoken" in it. Though that's not your sort, I'll +wager.' + +'You are a very kind young man,' returned the dressmaker; 'a really +kind young man. I accept your offer.--I suppose He won't mind,' +she added as an afterthought, shrugging her shoulders; 'and if he +does, he may!' + +'Meaning him that you call your father, Miss,' asked Sloppy. + +'No, no,' replied Miss Wren. 'Him, Him, Him!' + +'Him, him, him?' repeated Sloppy; staring about, as if for Him. + +'Him who is coming to court and marry me,' returned Miss Wren. +'Dear me, how slow you are!' + +'Oh! HIM!' said Sloppy. And seemed to turn thoughtful and a little +troubled. 'I never thought of him. When is he coming, Miss?' + +'What a question!' cried Miss Wren. 'How should I know!' + +'Where is he coming from, Miss?' + +'Why, good gracious, how can I tell! He is coming from +somewhere or other, I suppose, and he is coming some day or +other, I suppose. I don't know any more about him, at present.' + +This tickled Mr Sloppy as an extraordinarily good joke, and he +threw back his head and laughed with measureless enjoyment. At +the sight of him laughing in that absurd way, the dolls' dressmaker +laughed very heartily indeed. So they both laughed, till they were +tired. + +'There, there, there!' said Miss Wren. 'For goodness' sake, stop, +Giant, or I shall be swallowed up alive, before I know it. And to +this minute you haven't said what you've come for.' + +'I have come for little Miss Harmonses doll,' said Sloppy. + +'I thought as much,' remarked Miss Wren, 'and here is little Miss +Harmonses doll waiting for you. She's folded up in silver paper, +you see, as if she was wrapped from head to foot in new Bank +notes. Take care of her, and there's my hand, and thank you again.' + +'I'll take more care of her than if she was a gold image,' said +Sloppy, 'and there's both MY hands, Miss, and I'll soon come back +again.' + + +But, the greatest event of all, in the new life of Mr and Mrs John +Harmon, was a visit from Mr and Mrs Eugene Wrayburn. Sadly +wan and worn was the once gallant Eugene, and walked resting on +his wife's arm, and leaning heavily upon a stick. But, he was daily +growing stronger and better, and it was declared by the medical +attendants that he might not be much disfigured by-and-by. It was +a grand event, indeed, when Mr and Mrs Eugene Wrayburn came +to stay at Mr and Mrs John Harmon's house: where, by the way, +Mr and Mrs Boffin (exquisitely happy, and daily cruising about, to +look at shops,) were likewise staying indefinitely. + +To Mr Eugene Wrayburn, in confidence, did Mrs John Harmon +impart what she had known of the state of his wife's affections, in +his reckless time. And to Mrs John Harmon, in confidence, did Mr +Eugene Wrayburn impart that, please God, she should see how his +wife had changed him! + +'I make no protestations,' said Eugene; '--who does, who means +them!--I have made a resolution.' + +'But would you believe, Bella,' interposed his wife, coming to +resume her nurse's place at his side, for he never got on well +without her: 'that on our wedding day he told me he almost +thought the best thing he could do, was to die?' + +'As I didn't do it, Lizzie,' said Eugene, 'I'll do that better thing you +suggested--for your sake.' + +That same afternoon, Eugene lying on his couch in his own room +upstairs, Lightwood came to chat with him, while Bella took his +wife out for a ride. 'Nothing short of force will make her go, +Eugene had said; so, Bella had playfully forced her. + +'Dear old fellow,' Eugene began with Lightwood, reaching up his +hand, 'you couldn't have come at a better time, for my mind is full, +and I want to empty it. First, of my present, before I touch upon +my future. M. R. F., who is a much younger cavalier than I, and a +professed admirer of beauty, was so affable as to remark the other +day (he paid us a visit of two days up the river there, and much +objected to the accommodation of the hotel), that Lizzie ought to +have her portrait painted. Which, coming from M. R. F., may be +considered equivalent to a melodramatic blessing.' + +'You are getting well,' said Mortimer, with a smile. + +'Really,' said Eugene, 'I mean it. When M. R. F. said that, and +followed it up by rolling the claret (for which he called, and I +paid), in his mouth, and saying, "My dear son, why do you drink +this trash?" it was tantamount in him--to a paternal benediction +on our union, accompanied with a gush of tears. The coolness of +M. R. F. is not to be measured by ordinary standards.' + +'True enough,' said Lightwood. + +'That's all,' pursued Eugene, 'that I shall ever hear from M. R. F. +on the subject, and he will continue to saunter through the world +with his hat on one side. My marriage being thus solemnly +recognized at the family altar, I have no further trouble on that +score. Next, you really have done wonders for me, Mortimer, in +easing my money-perplexities, and with such a guardian and +steward beside me, as the preserver of my life (I am hardly strong +yet, you see, for I am not man enough to refer to her without a +trembling voice--she is so inexpressibly dear to me, Mortimer!), +the little that I can call my own will be more than it ever has been. +It need be more, for you know what it always has been in my +hands. Nothing.' + +'Worse than nothing, I fancy, Eugene. My own small income (I +devoutly wish that my grandfather had left it to the Ocean rather +than to me!) has been an effective Something, in the way of +preventing me from turning to at Anything. And I think yours has +been much the same.' + +'There spake the voice of wisdom,' said Eugene. 'We are shepherds +both. In turning to at last, we turn to in earnest. Let us say no +more of that, for a few years to come. Now, I have had an idea, +Mortimer, of taking myself and my wife to one of the colonies, and +working at my vocation there.' + +'I should be lost without you, Eugene; but you may be right.' + +'No,' said Eugene, emphatically. 'Not right. Wrong!' + +He said it with such a lively--almost angry--flash, that Mortimer +showed himself greatly surprised. + +'You think this thumped head of mine is excited?' Eugene went on, +with a high look; 'not so, believe me. I can say to you of the +healthful music of my pulse what Hamlet said of his. My blood is +up, but wholesomely up, when I think of it. Tell me! Shall I turn +coward to Lizzie, and sneak away with her, as if I were ashamed of +her! Where would your friend's part in this world be, Mortimer, if +she had turned coward to him, and on immeasurably better +occasion?' + +'Honourable and stanch,' said Lightwood. 'And yet, Eugene--' + +'And yet what, Mortimer?' + +'And yet, are you sure that you might not feel (for her sake, I say +for her sake) any slight coldness towards her on the part of-- +Society?' + +'O! You and I may well stumble at the word,' returned Eugene, +laughing. 'Do we mean our Tippins?' + +'Perhaps we do,' said Mortimer, laughing also. + +'Faith, we DO!' returned Eugene, with great animation. 'We may +hide behind the bush and beat about it, but we DO! Now, my wife +is something nearer to my heart, Mortimer, than Tippins is, and I +owe her a little more than I owe to Tippins, and I am rather +prouder of her than I ever was of Tippins. Therefore, I will fight it +out to the last gasp, with her and for her, here, in the open field. +When I hide her, or strike for her, faint-heartedly, in a hole or a +corner, do you whom I love next best upon earth, tell me what I +shall most righteously deserve to be told:--that she would have +done well to turn me over with her foot that night when I lay +bleeding to death, and spat in my dastard face.' + +The glow that shone upon him as he spoke the words, so irradiated +his features that he looked, for the time, as though he had never +been mutilated. His friend responded as Eugene would have had +him respond, and they discoursed of the future until Lizzie came +back. After resuming her place at his side, and tenderly touching +his hands and his head, she said: + +'Eugene, dear, you made me go out, but I ought to have stayed with +you. You are more flushed than you have been for many days. +What have you been doing?' + +'Nothing,' replied Eugene, 'but looking forward to your coming +back.' + +'And talking to Mr Lightwood,' said Lizzie, turning to him with a +smile. 'But it cannot have been Society that disturbed you.' + +'Faith, my dear love!' retorted Eugene, in his old airy manner, as he +laughed and kissed her, 'I rather think it WAS Society though!' + +The word ran so much in Mortimer Lightwood's thoughts as he +went home to the Temple that night, that he resolved to take a look +at Society, which he had not seen for a considerable period. + + + +Chapter 17 + +THE VOICE OF SOCIETY + + +Behoves Mortimer Lightwood, therefore, to answer a dinner card +from Mr and Mrs Veneering requesting the honour, and to signify +that Mr Mortimer Lightwood will be happy to have the other +honour. The Veneerings have been, as usual, indefatigably dealing +dinner cards to Society, and whoever desires to take a hand had +best be quick about it, for it is written in the Books of the Insolvent +Fates that Veneering shall make a resounding smash next week. +Yes. Having found out the clue to that great mystery how people +can contrive to live beyond their means, and having over-jobbed +his jobberies as legislator deputed to the Universe by the pure +electors of Pocket-Breaches, it shall come to pass next week that +Veneering will accept the Chiltern Hundreds, that the legal +gentleman in Britannia's confidence will again accept the Pocket- +Breaches Thousands, and that the Veneerings will retire to Calais, +there to live on Mrs Veneering's diamonds (in which Mr +Veneering, as a good husband, has from time to time invested +considerable sums), and to relate to Neptune and others, how that, +before Veneering retired from Parliament, the House of Commons +was composed of himself and the six hundred and fifty-seven +dearest and oldest friends he had in the world. It shall likewise +come to pass, at as nearly as possible the same period, that Society +will discover that it always did despise Veneering, and distrust +Veneering, and that when it went to Veneering's to dinner it +always had misgivings--though very secretly at the time, it would +seem, and in a perfectly private and confidential manner. + +The next week's books of the Insolvent Fates, however, being not +yet opened, there is the usual rush to the Veneerings, of the people +who go to their house to dine with one another and not with them. +There is Lady Tippins. There are Podsnap the Great, and Mrs +Podsnap. There is Twemlow. There are Buffer, Boots, and +Brewer. There is the Contractor, who is Providence to five +hundred thousand men. There is the Chairman, travelling three +thousand miles per week. There is the brilliant genius who turned +the shares into that remarkably exact sum of three hundred and +seventy five thousand pounds, no shillings, and nopence. + +To whom, add Mortimer Lightwood, coming in among them with +a reassumption of his old languid air, founded on Eugene, and +belonging to the days when he told the story of the man from +Somewhere. + +That fresh fairy, Tippins, all but screams at sight of her false +swain. She summons the deserter to her with her fan; but the +deserter, predetermined not to come, talks Britain with Podsnap. +Podsnap always talks Britain, and talks as if he were a sort of +Private Watchman employed, in the British interests, against the +rest of the world. 'We know what Russia means, sir,' says +Podsnap; 'we know what France wants; we see what America is up +to; but we know what England is. That's enough for us.' + +However, when dinner is served, and Lightwood drops into his old +place over against Lady Tippins, she can be fended off no longer. +'Long banished Robinson Crusoe,' says the charmer, exchanging +salutations, 'how did you leave the Island?' + +'Thank you,' says Lightwood. 'It made no complaint of being in +pain anywhere.' + +'Say, how did you leave the savages?' asks Lady Tippins. + +'They were becoming civilized when I left Juan Fernandez,' says +Lightwood. 'At least they were eating one another, which looked +like it.' + +'Tormentor!' returns the dear young creature. 'You know what I +mean, and you trifle with my impatience. Tell me something, +immediately, about the married pair. You were at the wedding.' + +'Was I, by-the-by?' Mortimer pretends, at great leisure, to consider. +'So I was!' + +'How was the bride dressed? In rowing costume?' + +Mortimer looks gloomy, and declines to answer. + +'I hope she steered herself, skiffed herself, paddled herself, +larboarded and starboarded herself, or whatever the technical term +may be, to the ceremony?' proceeds the playful Tippins. + +'However she got to it, she graced it,' says Mortimer. + +Lady Tippins with a skittish little scream, attracts the general +attention. 'Graced it! Take care of me if I faint, Veneering. He +means to tell us, that a horrid female waterman is graceful!' + +'Pardon me. I mean to tell you nothing, Lady Tippins,' replies +Lightwood. And keeps his word by eating his dinner with a show +of the utmost indifference. + +'You shall not escape me in this way, you morose +backwoodsman,' retorts Lady Tippins. 'You shall not evade the +question, to screen your friend Eugene, who has made this +exhibition of himself. The knowledge shall be brought home to +you that such a ridiculous affair is condemned by the voice of +Society. My dear Mrs Veneering, do let us resolve ourselves into +a Committee of the whole House on the subject.' + +Mrs Veneering, always charmed by this rattling sylph, cries. 'Oh +yes! Do let us resolve ourselves into a Committee of the whole +House! So delicious!' Veneering says, 'As many as are of that +opinion, say Aye,--contrary, No--the Ayes have it.' But nobody +takes the slightest notice of his joke. + +'Now, I am Chairwoman of Committees!' cries Lady Tippins. + +('What spirits she has!' exclaims Mrs Veneering; to whom likewise +nobody attends.) + +'And this,' pursues the sprightly one, 'is a Committee of the whole +House to what-you-may-call-it--elicit, I suppose--the voice of +Society. The question before the Committee is, whether a young +man of very fair family, good appearance, and some talent, makes +a fool or a wise man of himself in marrying a female waterman, +turned factory girl.' + +'Hardly so, I think,' the stubborn Mortimer strikes in. 'I take the +question to be, whether such a man as you describe, Lady Tippins, +does right or wrong in marrying a brave woman (I say nothing of +her beauty), who has saved his life, with a wonderful energy and +address; whom he knows to be virtuous, and possessed of +remarkable qualities; whom he has long admired, and who is +deeply attached to him.' + +'But, excuse me,' says Podsnap, with his temper and his shirt-collar +about equally rumpled; 'was this young woman ever a female +waterman?' + +'Never. But she sometimes rowed in a boat with her father, I +believe.' + +General sensation against the young woman. Brewer shakes his +head. Boots shakes his head. Buffer shakes his head. + +'And now, Mr Lightwood, was she ever,' pursues Podsnap, with +his indignation rising high into those hair-brushes of his, 'a factory +girl?' + +'Never. But she had some employment in a paper mill, I believe.' + +General sensation repeated. Brewer says, 'Oh dear!' Boots says, +'Oh dear!' Buffer says, 'Oh dear!' All, in a rumbling tone of +protest. + +'Then all I have to say is,' returns Podsnap, putting the thing away +with his right arm, 'that my gorge rises against such a marriage-- +that it offends and disgusts me--that it makes me sick--and that I +desire to know no more about it.' + +('Now I wonder,' thinks Mortimer, amused, 'whether YOU are the +Voice of Society!') + +'Hear, hear, hear!' cries Lady Tippins. 'Your opinion of this +MESALLIANCE, honourable colleagues of the honourable +member who has just sat down?' + +Mrs Podsnap is of opinion that in these matters there should be an +equality of station and fortune, and that a man accustomed to +Society should look out for a woman accustomed to Society and +capable of bearing her part in it with--an ease and elegance of +carriage--that.' Mrs Podsnap stops there, delicately intimating +that every such man should look out for a fine woman as nearly +resembling herself as he may hope to discover. + +('Now I wonder,' thinks Mortimer, 'whether you are the Voice!') + +Lady Tippins next canvasses the Contractor, of five hundred +thousand power. It appears to this potentate, that what the man in +question should have done, would have been, to buy the young +woman a boat and a small annuity, and set her up for herself. +These things are a question of beefsteaks and porter. You buy the +young woman a boat. Very good. You buy her, at the same time, +a small annuity. You speak of that annuity in pounds sterling, but +it is in reality so many pounds of beefsteaks and so many pints of +porter. On the one hand, the young woman has the boat. On the +other hand, she consumes so many pounds of beefsteaks and so +many pints of porter. Those beefsteaks and that porter are the fuel +to that young woman's engine. She derives therefrom a certain +amount of power to row the boat; that power will produce so much +money; you add that to the small annuity; and thus you get at the +young woman's income. That (it seems to the Contractor) is the +way of looking at it. + +The fair enslaver having fallen into one of her gentle sleeps during +the last exposition, nobody likes to wake her. Fortunately, she +comes awake of herself, and puts the question to the Wandering +Chairman. The Wanderer can only speak of the case as if it were +his own. If such a young woman as the young woman described, +had saved his own life, he would have been very much obliged to +her, wouldn't have married her, and would have got her a berth in +an Electric Telegraph Office, where young women answer very +well. + +What does the Genius of the three hundred and seventy-five +thousand pounds, no shillings, and nopence, think? He can't say +what he thinks, without asking: Had the young woman any +money? + +'No,' says Lightwood, in an uncompromising voice; 'no money.' + +'Madness and moonshine,' is then the compressed verdict of the +Genius. 'A man may do anything lawful, for money. But for no +money!--Bosh!' + +What does Boots say? + +Boots says he wouldn't have done it under twenty thousand pound. + +What does Brewer say? + +Brewer says what Boots says. + +What does Buffer say? + +Buffer says he knows a man who married a bathing-woman, and +bolted. + +Lady Tippins fancies she has collected the suffrages of the whole +Committee (nobody dreaming of asking the Veneerings for their +opinion), when, looking round the table through her eyeglass, she +perceives Mr Twemlow with his hand to his forehead. + +Good gracious! My Twemlow forgotten! My dearest! My own! +What is his vote? + +Twemlow has the air of being ill at ease, as he takes his hand from +his forehead and replies. + +'I am disposed to think,' says he, 'that this is a question of the +feelings of a gentleman.' + +'A gentleman can have no feelings who contracts such a marriage,' +flushes Podsnap. + +'Pardon me, sir,' says Twemlow, rather less mildly than usual, 'I +don't agree with you. If this gentleman's feelings of gratitude, of +respect, of admiration, and affection, induced him (as I presume +they did) to marry this lady--' + +'This lady!' echoes Podsnap. + +'Sir,' returns Twemlow, with his wristbands bristling a little, 'YOU +repeat the word; I repeat the word. This lady. What else would +you call her, if the gentleman were present?' + +This being something in the nature of a poser for Podsnap, he +merely waves it away with a speechless wave. + +'I say,' resumes Twemlow, 'if such feelings on the part of this +gentleman, induced this gentleman to marry this lady, I think he is +the greater gentleman for the action, and makes her the greater +lady. I beg to say, that when I use the word, gentleman, I use it in +the sense in which the degree may be attained by any man. The +feelings of a gentleman I hold sacred, and I confess I am not +comfortable when they are made the subject of sport or general +discussion.' + +'I should like to know,' sneers Podsnap, 'whether your noble +relation would be of your opinion.' + +'Mr Podsnap,' retorts Twemlow, 'permit me. He might be, or he +might not be. I cannot say. But, I could not allow even him to +dictate to me on a point of great delicacy, on which I feel very +strongly.' + +Somehow, a canopy of wet blanket seems to descend upon the +company, and Lady Tippins was never known to turn so very +greedy or so very cross. Mortimer Lightwood alone brightens. +He has been asking himself, as to every other member of the +Committee in turn, 'I wonder whether you are the Voice!' But he +does not ask himself the question after Twemlow has spoken, and +he glances in Twemlow's direction as if he were grateful. When +the company disperse--by which time Mr and Mrs Veneering have +had quite as much as they want of the honour, and the guests have +had quite as much as THEY want of the other honour--Mortimer +sees Twemlow home, shakes hands with him cordially at parting, +and fares to the Temple, gaily. + + + +POSTSCRIPT + +IN LIEU OF PREFACE + + +When I devised this story, I foresaw the likelihood that a class of +readers and commentators would suppose that I was at great pains +to conceal exactly what I was at great pains to suggest: namely, +that Mr John Harmon was not slain, and that Mr John Rokesmith +was he. Pleasing myself with the idea that the supposition might +in part arise out of some ingenuity in the story, and thinking it +worth while, in the interests of art, to hint to an audience that an +artist (of whatever denomination) may perhaps be trusted to know +what he is about in his vocation, if they will concede him a little +patience, I was not alarmed by the anticipation. + +To keep for a long time unsuspected, yet always working itself out, +another purpose originating in that leading incident, and turning it +to a pleasant and useful account at last, was at once the most +interesting and the most difficult part of my design. Its difficulty +was much enhanced by the mode of publication; for, it would be +very unreasonable to expect that many readers, pursuing a story in +portions from month to month through nineteen months, will, until +they have it before them complete, perceive the relations of its finer +threads to the whole pattern which is always before the eyes of the +story-weaver at his loom. Yet, that I hold the advantages of the +mode of publication to outweigh its disadvantages, may be easily +believed of one who revived it in the Pickwick Papers after long +disuse, and has pursued it ever since. + +There is sometimes an odd disposition in this country to dispute as +improbable in fiction, what are the commonest experiences in fact. +Therefore, I note here, though it may not be at all necessary, that +there are hundreds of Will Cases (as they are called), far more +remarkable than that fancied in this book; and that the stores of the +Prerogative Office teem with instances of testators who have made, +changed, contradicted, hidden, forgotten, left cancelled, and left +uncancelled, each many more wills than were ever made by the +elder Mr Harmon of Harmony Jail. + +In my social experiences since Mrs Betty Higden came upon the +scene and left it, I have found Circumlocutional champions +disposed to be warm with me on the subject of my view of the Poor +Law. Mr friend Mr Bounderby could never see any difference +between leaving the Coketown 'hands' exactly as they were, and +requiring them to be fed with turtle soup and venison out of gold +spoons. Idiotic propositions of a parallel nature have been freely +offered for my acceptance, and I have been called upon to admit +that I would give Poor Law relief to anybody, anywhere, anyhow. +Putting this nonsense aside, I have observed a suspicious tendency +in the champions to divide into two parties; the one, contending +that there are no deserving Poor who prefer death by slow +starvation and bitter weather, to the mercies of some Relieving +Officers and some Union Houses; the other, admitting that there +are such Poor, but denying that they have any cause or reason for +what they do. The records in our newspapers, the late exposure by +THE LANCET, and the common sense and senses of common +people, furnish too abundant evidence against both defences. But, +that my view of the Poor Law may not be mistaken or +misrepresented, I will state it. I believe there has been in England, +since the days of the STUARTS, no law so often infamously +administered, no law so often openly violated, no law habitually so +ill-supervised. In the majority of the shameful cases of disease +and death from destitution, that shock the Public and disgrace the +country, the illegality is quite equal to the inhumanity--and known +language could say no more of their lawlessness. + +On Friday the Ninth of June in the present year, Mr and Mrs +Boffin (in their manuscript dress of receiving Mr and Mrs Lammle +at breakfast) were on the South Eastern Railway with me, in a +terribly destructive accident. When I had done what I could to help +others, I climbed back into my carriage--nearly turned over a +viaduct, and caught aslant upon the turn--to extricate the worthy +couple. They were much soiled, but otherwise unhurt. The same +happy result attended Miss Bella Wilfer on her wedding day, and +Mr Riderhood inspecting Bradley Headstone's red neckerchief as +he lay asleep. I remember with devout thankfulness that I can +never be much nearer parting company with my readers for ever, +than I was then, until there shall be written against my life, the two +words with which I have this day closed this book:--THE END. + +September 2nd, 1865. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg Etext of Our Mutual Friend, by Charles Dickens + |