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diff --git a/8389.txt b/8389.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a9ca9f7 --- /dev/null +++ b/8389.txt @@ -0,0 +1,13128 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Lectures of Col. R. G. Ingersoll - Latest, by +Robert Green Ingersoll + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Lectures of Col. R. G. Ingersoll - Latest + +Author: Robert Green Ingersoll + +Posting Date: January 15, 2009 [EBook #8389] +Release Date: June, 2005 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INGERSOLL LECTURES--LATEST *** + + + + +Produced by Jake Jaqua. HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + + + + +Lectures of Col. R. G. Ingersoll--Latest + + + + +Contents + + Thomas Paine + Liberty of Man, Woman and Child + Orthodoxy + Blasphemy + Some Reasons Why + Intellectual Development + Human Rights + Talmagian Theology (Second Lecture) + Talmagian Theology (Third Lecture) + Religious Intolerance + Hereafter + Review of His Reviewers + How the Gods Grow + The Religion of our Day + Heretics And Heresies + The Bible + Voltaire + Myth and Miracle + Ingersoll's Letter, on The Chinese God + Ingersoll's Letter, Is Suicide a Sin? + Ingersoll's Letter, The Right To One's Life + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Thomas Paine--Delivered in Central Music Hall, +Chicago, January 29, 1880 (From the Chicago Times, Verbatim Report) + + +Ladies and Gentlemen:--It so happened that the first speech--the very +first public speech I ever made--took occasion to defend the memory of +Thomas Paine. + +I did it because I had read a little something of the history of my +country. I did it because I felt indebted to him for the liberty I +then enjoyed--and whatever religion may be true, ingratitude is the +blackest of crimes. And whether there is any God or not, in every star +that shines, gratitude is a virtue. + +The man who will tell the truth about the dead is a good man, and for +one, about this man, I intend to tell just as near the truth as I can. + +Most history consists in giving the details of things that never +happened--most biography is usually the lie coming from the mouth of +flattery, or the slander coming from the lips of malice, and whoever +attacks the religion of a country will, in his turn, be attacked. +Whoever attacks a superstition will find that superstition defended by +all the meanness of ingenuity. Whoever attacks a superstition will +find that there is still one weapon left in the arsenal of +Jehovah--slander. + +I was reading, yesterday, a poem called the "Light of Asia," and I read +in that how a Boodh seeing a tigress perishing of thirst, with her +mouth upon the dry stone of a stream, with her two cubs sucking at her +dry and empty dugs, this Boodh took pity upon this wild and famishing +beast, and, throwing from himself the Yellowrobe of his order, and +stepping naked before this tigress, said: "Here is meat for you and +your cubs." In one moment the crooked daggers of her claws ran riot in +his flesh, and in another he was devoured. Such, during nearly all the +history of this world, has been the history of every man who has stood +in front of superstition. + +Thomas Paine, as has been so eloquently said by the gentleman who +introduced me, was a friend of man, and whoever is a friend of man is +also a friend of God--if there is one. But God has had many friends +who were the enemies of their fellow-men. There is but one test by +which to measure any man who has lived. Did he leave this world better +than he found it? Did he leave in this world more liberty? Did he +leave in this world more goodness, more humanity, than when he was +born? That is the test. And whatever may have been the faults of +Thomas Paine, no American who appreciates liberty, no American who +believes in true democracy and pure republicanism, should ever breathe +one word against his name. Every American, with the divine mantle of +charity, should cover all his faults, and with a never-tiring tongue +should recount his virtues. + +He was a common man. He did not belong to the aristocracy. Upon the +head of his father God had never poured the divine petroleum of +authority. He had not the misfortune to belong to the upper classes. +He had the fortune to be born among the poor and to feel against his +great heart the throb of the toiling and suffering masses. Neither was +it his misfortune to have been educated at Oxford. What little sense +he had was not squeezed out at Westminster. He got his education from +books. He got his education from contact with fellow-men, and he +thought, and a man is worth just what nature impresses upon him. A man +standing by the sea, or in a forest, or looking at a flower, or hearing +a poem, or looking in the eyes of the woman he loves, receives all that +he is capable of receiving--and if he is a great man the impression is +great, and he uses it for the purpose of benefiting his fellow-man. + +Thomas Paine was not rich, he was poor, and his father before him was +poor, and he was raised a sailmaker, a very lowly profession, and yet +that man became one of the mainstays of liberty in this world. At one +time he was an excise man, like Burns. Burns was once--speak it +softly--a gauger--and yet he wrote poems that will wet the cheek of +humanity with tears as long as the world travels in its orb around the +sun. + +Poverty was his brother, necessity his master. He had more brains than +books; more courage than politeness; more strength than polish. He had +no veneration for old mistakes, no admiration for ancient lies. He +loved the truth for truth's sake and for man's sake. He saw oppression +on every hand, injustice everywhere, hypocrisy at the altar, venality +on the bench, tyranny on the throne, and with a splendid courage he +espoused the cause of the weak against the strong, of the enslaved many +against the titled few. + +In England he was nothing. He belonged to the lower classes--that is, +the useful people. England depended for her prosperity upon her +mechanics and her thinkers, her sailors and her workers, and they are +the only men in Europe who are not gentlemen. The only obstacles in +the way of progress in Europe were the nobility and the priests, and +they are the only gentlemen. + +This, and his native genius, constituted his entire capital, and he +needed no more. He found the colonies clamoring for justice; whining +about their grievances; upon their knees at the foot of the throne, +imploring that mixture of idiocy and insanity, George III., by the +grace of God, for a restoration of their ancient privileges. They were +not endeavoring to become free men, but were trying to soften the heart +of their master. They were perfectly willing to make brick if Pharaoh +would furnish the straw. The colonists wished for, hoped for, and +prayed for reconciliation. They did not dream of independence. + +Paine gave to the world his "Common Sense." It was the first argument +for separation; the first assault upon the British form of government; +the first blow for a republic, and it aroused our fathers like a +trumpet's blast. He was the first to perceive the destiny of the new +world. No other pamphlet ever accomplished such wonderful results. It +was filled with arguments, reasons, persuasions, and unanswerable +logic. It opened a new world. It filled the present with hope and the +future with honor. Everywhere the people responded, and in a few months +the Continental Congress declared the colonies free and independent +states. A new nation was born. + +It is simple justice to say that Paine did more to cause the +Declaration of Independence than any other man. Neither should it be +forgotten that his attacks upon Great Britain were also attacks upon +monarchy, and while he convinced the people that the colonies ought to +separate from the mother country, he also proved to them that a free +government is the best that can be instituted among men. + +In my judgment Thomas Paine was the best political writer that ever +lived. "What he wrote was pure nature, and his soul and his pen ever +went together." Ceremony, pageantry, and all the paraphernalia of +power had no effect upon him. He examined into the why and wherefore +of things. He was perfectly radical in his mode of thought. Nothing +short of the bed-rock satisfied him. His enthusiasm for what he +believed to be right knew no bounds. During all the dark scenes of the +revolution never for a moment did he despair. Year after year his +brave words were ringing through the land, and by the bivouac fires the +weary soldiers read the inspiring words of "Common Sense," filled with +ideas sharper than their swords, and consecrated themselves anew to the +cause of freedom. + +Paine was not content with having aroused the spirit of independence, +but he gave every energy of his soul to keep that spirit alive. He was +with the army. He shared its defeats, its dangers, and its glory. +When the situation became desperate, when gloom settled upon all, he +gave them the "Crisis." It was a cloud by day and a pillar of fire +by night, leading the way to freedom, honor, and glory. He shouted to +them "These are the times that try men's souls." The summer soldier +and the sunshine patriot, will, in this crisis, shrink from the service +of his country; but he that stands it now deserves the love and thanks +of man and woman. + +To those who wished to put the war off to some future day, with a lofty +and touching spirit of self-sacrifice, he said: "Every generous parent +should say: 'If there must be war, let it be in my day, that my child +may have peace'." To the cry that Americans were rebels, he replied: +"He that rebels against reason is a real rebel; but he that in defense +of reason rebels against tyranny, has a better title to 'Defender of +the Faith' than George III." + +Some said it was to the interest of the colonies to be free. Paine +answered this by saying: "To know whether it be the interest of the +continent to be independent, we need ask only this simple, easy +question: 'Is it the interest of man to be a boy all his life?"' He +found many who would listen to nothing, and to them he said: "That to +argue with a man who has renounced his reason is like giving medicine +to the dead." This sentiment ought to adorn the walls of every +orthodox church. + +There is a world of political wisdom in this: "England lost her liberty +in a long chain of right reasoning from wrong principles;" and there +is real discrimination in saying: "The Greeks and Romans were strongly +possessed of the spirit of liberty, but not the principles, for at the +time they were determined not to be slaves themselves, they employed +their power to enslave the rest of mankind." + +In his letter to the British people, in which he tried to convince them +that war was not to their interest, occurs the following passage +brimful of common sense: "War never can be the interest of a trading +nation any more than quarreling can be profitable to a man in business. +But to make war with those who trade with us is like setting a bull-dog +upon a customer at the shop door." + +The Writings of Paine fairly glitter with simple, compact, logical +statements that carry conviction to the dullest and most prejudicial. +He had the happiest possible way of putting the case, in asking +questions in such a way that they answer themselves, and in stating his +premises so clearly that the deduction could not be avoided. + +Day and night he labored for America. Month after month, year after +year, he gave himself to the great cause, until there was "a government +of the people and for the people," and until the banner of the stars +floated over a continent redeemed and consecrated to the happiness of +mankind. + +At the close of the Revolution no one stood higher in America than +Thomas Paine. The best, the wisest, the most patriotic were his +friends and admirers; and had he been thinking only of his own good he +might have rested from his toils and spent the remainder of his life in +comfort and in ease. He could have been what the world is pleased to +call "respectable." He would have died surrounded by clergymen, +warriors, and statesmen, and at his death there would have been an +imposing funeral, miles of carriages, civic societies, salvos of +artillery, a Nation in mourning, and, above all, a splendid monument +covered with lies. He choose rather to benefit mankind. At that time +the seeds sown by the great infidels were beginning to bear fruit in +France. The eighteenth century was crowning its gray hairs with the +wreath of progress. + +On every hand science was bearing testimony against the church. +Voltaire had filled Europe with light. D'Holbach was giving to the +elite of Paris the principles contained in his "System of Nature." The +encyclopaedists had attacked superstition with information for the +masses. The foundation of things began to be examined. A few had the +courage to keep their shoes on and let the bush burn. Miracles began +to get scarce. Everywhere the people began to inquire. America had +set an example to the world. The word liberty was in the mouths of +men, and they began to wipe the dust from their superstitious knees. +The dawn of a new day had appeared. Thomas Paine went to France. +Into the new movement he threw all his energies. His fame had gone +before him, and he was welcomed as a friend of the human race and as a +champion of free government. + +He had never relinquished his intention of pointing out to his +countrymen the defects, absurdities, and abuse of the English +government. For this purpose; he composed and published his greatest +political work. "The Rights of Man." This work should be read by every +man and woman. It is concise, accurate, rational, convincing, and +unanswerable. It shows great thought, an intimate knowledge of the +various forms of government, deep insight into the very springs of +human action, and a courage that compels respect and admiration. The +most difficult political problems are solved in a few sentences. The +venerable arguments in favor of wrong are refuted with a +question--answered with a word. For forcible illustration, apt +comparison, accuracy and clearness of statement, and absolute +thoroughness, it has never been excelled. + +The fears of the administration were aroused, and Paine was prosecuted +for libel, and found guilty; and yet there is not a sentiment in the +entire work that will not challenge the admiration of every civilized +man. It is a magazine of political wisdom, an arsenal of ideas, and an +honor not only to Thomas Paine, but to nature itself. It could have +been written only by the man who had the generosity, the exalted +patriotism, the goodness to say: "The world is my country, and to do +good my religion." + +There is in all the utterances of the world no grander, no sublimer +sentiment. There is no creed that can be compared with it for a +moment. It should be wrought in gold, adorned with jewels, and +impressed upon every human heart: "The world is my country, and to do +good my religion." + +In 1792, Paine was elected by the department of Calais as their +representative in the National Assembly. So great was his popularity +in France, that he was selected about the same time by the people of no +less than four departments. + +Upon taking his place in the assembly, he was appointed as one of a +committee to draft a constitution for France. Had the French people +taken the advice of Thomas Paine, there would have been no "reign of +terror." The streets of Paris would not have been filled with blood in +that reign of terror. There were killed in the City of Paris not less, +I think, than seventeen thousand people--and on one night, in the +massacre of St. Bartholomew, there were killed, by assassination, over +sixty thousand souls--men, women, and children. The revolution would +have been the grandest success of the world. The truth is that Paine +was too conservative to suit the leaders of the French revolution. +They, to a great extent, were carried away by hatred and a desire to +destroy. They had suffered so long, they had borne so much, that it was +impossible for them to be moderate in the hour of victory. + +Besides all this, the French people had been so robbed by the +government, so degraded by the church, that they were not fit material +with which to construct a republic. Many of the leaders longed to +establish a beneficent and just government, but the people asked for +revenge. Paine was filled with a real love for mankind. His +philanthropy was boundless. He wished to destroy monarchy--not the +monarch. He voted for the destruction of tyranny, and against the +death of the tyrant. He wished to establish a government on a new +basis--one that would forget the past; one that would give privileges +to none, and protection to all. + +In the assembly, where all were demanding the execution of the +king,--where to differ with the majority was to be suspected, and where +to be suspected was almost certain death--Thomas Paine had the courage, +the goodness, and the justice to vote against death. To vote against +the execution of the king was a vote against his own life. This was +the sublimity of devotion to principle. For this he was arrested, +imprisoned, and doomed to death. There is not a theologian who has +ever maligned Thomas Paine that has the courage to do this thing. When +Louis Capet was on trial for his life before the French convention, +Thomas Paine had the courage to speak and vote against the sentence of +death. In his speech I find the following splendid sentiments: + + +"My contempt and hatred for monarchical governments are sufficiently +well known, and my compassion for the unfortunate, friends or enemies, +is equally profound. + +I have voted to put Louis Capet upon trial, because it was necessary to +prove to the world the perfidy, the corruption, and the horror of the +monarchical system. + +To follow the trade of a king destroys all morality, just as the trade +of a jailer deadens all sensibility. + +Make a man a king today and tomorrow he will be a brigand. + +Had Louis Capet been a farmer, he might have been held in esteem by his +neighbors, and his wickedness results from his position rather than +from his nature. + +Let the French nation purge its territory of kings without soiling +itself with their impure blood. + +Let the United States be the asylum of Louis Capet, where, in spite of +the overshadowing miseries and crimes of a royal life, he will learn by +the continual contemplation of the general prosperity that the true +system of government is not that of kings, but of the people. + +I am an enemy of kings, but I can not forget that they belong to the +human race. + +It is always delightful to pursue that course where policy and humanity +are united. + +As France has been the first of all the nations of Europe to destroy +royalty, let it be the first to abolish the penalty of death. + +As a true republican, I consider kings as more the objects of contempt +than of vengeance." + + +Search the records of the world and you will find but few sublimer acts +than that of Thomas Paine voting against the king's death. He, the +hater of despotism, the abhorer of monarchy, the champion of the rights +of man, the republican, accepting death to save the life of a deposed +tyrant--of a throneless king! This was the last grand act of his +political life--the sublime conclusion of his political career. + +All his life he had been the disinterested friend of man. He had +labored not for money, not for fame, but for the general good. He had +aspired to no office. He had no recognition of his services, but had +ever been content to labor as a common soldier in the army of progress, +confining his efforts to no country, looking upon the world as his +field of action. Filled with a genuine love for the right, he found +himself imprisoned by the very people he had striven to save. + +Had his enemies succeeded in bringing him to the block, he would have +escaped the calumnies and the hatred of the Christian world. And let me +tell you how neat they came getting him to the block. He was in prison, +there was a door to his cell--it had two doors, a door that opened in +and an iron door that opened out. It was a dark passage, and whenever +they concluded to cut a man's head off the next day, an agent went +along and made a chalk mark upon the door where the poor prisoner was +bound. Mr. Barlow, the American minister, happened to be with him and +the outer door was shut, that is, open against the wall, and the inner +door was shut, and when the man came along whose business it was to +mark the door for death, he marked this door where Thomas Paine was, +but he marked the door that was against the wall, so when it was shut +the mark was inside, and the messenger of death passed by on the next +day. If that had happened in favor of some Methodist preacher, they +would have clearly seen, not simply the hand of God, but both hands. +In this country, at least, he would have ranked with the proudest +names. On the anniversary of the Declaration, his name would have been +upon the lips of all orators, and his memory in the hearts of all the +people. + +Thomas Paine had not finished his career. He had spent his life thus +far in destroying the power of kings, and now turned his attention to +the priests. He knew that every abuse had been embalmed in +scripture--that every outrage was in partnership with some holy text. +He knew that the throne skulked behind the altar, and both behind a +pretended revelation of God. By this time he had found that it was of +little use to free the body and leave the mind in chains. He had +explored the foundations of despotism, and had found them infinitely +rotten. He had dug under the throne, and it occurred to him that he +would take a look behind the altar. The result of this investigation +was given to the world in the "Age of Reason." From the moment of its +publication he became infamous. He was calumniated beyond measure. +To slander him was to secure the thanks of the church. All his +services were instantly forgotten, disparaged, or denied. He was +shunned as though he had been a pestilence. Most of his old friends +forsook him. He was regarded as a moral plague, and at the bare +mention of his name the bloody hands of the church were raised in +horror. He was denounced as the most despicable of men. + +Not content with following him to his grave, they pursued him after +death with redoubled fury, and recounted with infinite gusto and +satisfaction the supposed horrors of his death-bed: gloried in the fact +that he was forlorn and friendless, and gloated like fiends over what +they supposed to be the agonizing remorse of his lonely death. + +It is wonderful that all his services are thus forgotten. It is +amazing that one kind word did not fall from some pulpit; that some one +did not accord to him, at least--honesty. Strange that in the general +denunciation some one did not remember his labor for liberty, his +devotion to principle, his zeal for the rights of his fellow-men. He +had, by brave and splendid effort, associated his name with the cause +of progress. He had made it impossible to write the history of +political freedom with his name left out. He was one of the creators +of light, one of the heralds of the dawn. He hated tyranny in the name +of kings, and in the name of God, with every drop of his noble blood. +He believed in liberty and justice, and in the sacred doctrine of human +equality. Under these divine banners he fought the battle of his life. +In both worlds he offered his blood for the good of man. In the +wilderness of America, in the French assembly, in the sombre cell +waiting for death, he was the same unflinching, unwavering friend of +his race; the same undaunted champion of universal freedom. And for +this he has been hated; for this the church has violated even his grave. + +This is enough to make one believe that nothing is more natural than +for men to devour their benefactors. The people in all ages have +crucified and glorified. Whoever lifts his voice against abuses, +whoever arraigns the past at the bar of the present, whoever asks the +king to show his commission, or question the authority of the priest, +will be denounced as the enemy of man and God. In all ages reason has +been regarded as the enemy of religion. Nothing has been considered so +pleasing to the Deity as a total denial of the authority of your own +mind. Self-reliance has been thought deadly sin; and the idea of living +and dying without the aid and consolation of superstition has always +horrified the church. By some unaccountable infatuation, belief has +been and still is considered of immense importance. All religions have +been based upon the idea that God will forever reward the true +believer, and eternally damn the man who doubts or denies. Belief is +regarded as the one essential thing. To practice justice, to love +mercy, is not enough; you must believe in some incomprehensible creed. +You must say: "Once one is three, and three times one is one." The man +who practiced every virtue, but failed to believe, was execrated. +Nothing so outrages the feelings of the church as a moral unbeliever, +nothing so horrible as a charitable atheist. + +When Paine was born the world was religious, the pulpit was the real +throne, and the churches were making every effort to crush out of the +brain the idea that it had the right to think. He again made up his +mind to sacrifice himself. He commenced with the assertion "That any +system of religion that had anything in it that shocks the mind of a +child can not be a true system." What a beautiful, what a tender +sentiment! No wonder the church began to hate him. He believed in one +God, and no more. After his life he hoped for happiness. He believed +that true religion consisted in doing justice, loving mercy; in +endeavoring to make our fellow-creatures happy, and in offering to God +the fruit of the heart. He denied the inspiration of the scriptures. +This was his crime. + +He contended that it is a contradiction in terms to call anything a +revelation that comes to us at secondhand, either verbally or in +writing. He asserted that revelation is necessarily limited to the +first communication, and that after that it is only an account of +something which another person says was a revelation to him. We have +only his word for it, as it was never made to us. This argument never +had been, and probably never will be answered. He denied the divine +origin of Christ and showed conclusively that the pretended prophecies +of the Old Testament lead no reference to Him whatever. And yet he +believed that Christ was a virtuous and amiable man; that the morality +he taught and practiced was of the most benevolent and elevated +character, and that it had not been exceeded by any. Upon this point +he entertained the same sentiments now held by the Unitarians, and in +fact by all the most enlightened Christians. + +In his time the church believed and taught that every word in the Bible +was absolutely true. Since his day it has been proven false in its +cosmogony, false in its astronomy, false in its chronology and geology, +false in its history, so far as the Old Testament is concerned, false +in almost everything. There are but few, if any, scientific men, who +apprehend that the Bible is literally true. Who on earth at this day +would pretend to settle any scientific question by a text from the +Bible? The old belief is confined to the ignorant and zealous. The +church itself will before long be driven to occupy the position of +Thomas Paine. The best minds of the orthodox world, today, are +endeavoring to prove the existence of a personal Deity. All other +questions occupy a minor place. You are no longer asked to swallow the +Bible whole, whale, Jonah and all; you are simply required to believe +in God and pay your pew-rent. + +There is not now an enlightened minister in the world who will +seriously contend that Sampson's strength was in his hair, or that the +necromancers of Egypt could turn water into blood, and pieces of wood +into serpents. These follies have passed away, and the only reason +that the religious world can now have for disliking Paine, is that they +have been forced to adopt so many of his opinions. + +Paine thought the barbarities of the Old Testament inconsistent with +what he deemed the real character of God. He believed the murder, +massacre, and indiscriminate slaughter had never been commanded by the +Deity. He regarded much of the Bible as childish, unimportant and +foolish. The scientific world entertains the same opinion. Paine +attacked the Bible precisely in the same spirit in which he had +attacked the pretensions of the kings. He used the same weapons. All +the pomp in the world could not make him cower. His reason knew no +"Holy of Holies," except the abode of truth. The sciences were then in +their infancy. The attention of the really learned had not been +directed to an impartial examination of our pretended revelation. It +was accepted by most as a matter of course. + +The church was all-powerful, and no one else, unless thoroughly imbued +with the spirit of self-sacrifice, thought for a moment of disputing +the fundamental doctrines of Christianity. The infamous doctrine that +salvation depends upon belief, upon a mere intellectual conviction, was +then believed and preached. To doubt was to secure the damnation of +your soul. This absurd and devilish doctrine shocked the common sense +of Thomas Paine, and he denounced it with the fervor of honest +indignation. This doctrine, although infinitely ridiculous, has been +nearly universal, and has been as hurtful as senseless. For the +overthrow of this infamous tenet, Paine exerted all his strength. He +left few arguments to be used by those who should come after him, and +he used none that have been refuted. + +The combined wisdom and genius of all mankind can not possibly conceive +of an argument against liberty of thought. Neither can they show why +anyone should be punished, either in this world or another, for acting +honestly in accordance with reason; and yet a doctrine with every +possible argument against it has been, and still is, believed and +defended by the entire orthodox world. Can it be possible that we have +been endowed with reason simply that our souls may be caught in its +toils and snares, that we may be led by its false and delusive glare +out of the narrow path that leads to joy into the broad way of +everlasting death? Is it possible that we have been given reason +simply that we may through faith ignore its deductions and avoid its +conclusions? Ought the sailor to throw away his compass and depend +entirely upon the fog? If reason is not to be depended upon in matters +of religion, that is to say, in respect to our duties to the Deity, why +should it be relied upon in matters respecting the rights of our +fellows? Why should we throw away the law given to Moses by God +Himself, and have the audacity to make some of our own? How dare we +drown the thunders of Sinai by calling the ayes and naes in a petty +legislature? If reason can determine what is merciful, what is just, +the duties of man to man, what more do we want either in time or +eternity? + +Down, forever down, with any religion that requires upon its ignorant +altar its sacrifice of the goddess Reason; that compels her to abdicate +forever the shining throne of the soul, strips from her form the +imperial purple, snatches from her hand the sceptre of thought and +makes her the bond-woman of senseless faith. + +If a man should tell you he had the most beautiful painting in the +world, and after taking you where it was should insist upon having your +eyes shut, you would likely suspect either that he had no painting or +that it was some pitiful daub. Should he tell you that he was a most +excellent performer on the violin, and yet refused to play unless your +ears were stopped, you would think, to say the least of it, that he had +an odd way of convincing you of his musical ability. But would this +conduct be any more wonderful than that of a religionist who asks that +before examining his creed you will have the kindness to throw away +your reason? The first gentleman says: "Keep your eyes shut; my +picture will bear everything but being seen. Keep your ears stopped; +my music objects to nothing but being heard." The last says: "Away +with your reason; my religion dreads nothing but being understood." + +So far as I am concerned, I most cheerfully admit that most Christians +are honest and most ministers sincere. We do not attack them; we +attack their creed. We accord to them the same rights that we ask for +ourselves. We believe that their doctrines are hurtful, and I am going +to do what I can against them. We believe that the frightful text, "He +that believes shall be saved, and he that believeth not shall be +damned," has covered the earth with blood. You might as well say that +all that have red hair shall be damned. It has filled the heart with +arrogance, cruelty, and murder. It has caused the religious wars; +bound hundreds of thousands to the stake; founded inquisitions; filled +dungeons; invented instruments of torture; taught the mother to hate +her child; imprisoned the mind; filled the world with ignorance; +persecuted the lovers of wisdom; built the monasteries and convents; +made happiness a crime, investigation a sin, and self-reliance a +blasphemy. It has poisoned the springs of learning; misdirected the +energies of the world; filled all countries with want; housed the +people in hovels; fed them with famine; and but for the efforts of a +few brave infidels, it would have taken the world back to the midnight +of barbarism, and left the heavens without a star. + +The maligners of Paine say that he had no right to attack this +doctrine, because he was unacquainted with the dead languages, and, for +this reason, it was a piece of pure impudence to investigate the +scriptures. + +Is it necessary to understand Hebrew in order to know that cruelty is +not a virtue, that murder is inconsistent with infinite goodness, and +that eternal punishment can be inflicted upon man only by an eternal +fiend? Is it really essential to conjugate the Greek verbs before you +can make up your mind as to the probability of dead people getting out +of their graves? Must one be versed in Latin before he is entitled to +express his opinion as to the genuiness of a pretended revelation from +God? Common sense belongs exclusively to no tongue. Logic is not +confirmed to, nor has it been buried with, the dead languages. Paine +attacked the Bible as it is translated. If the translation is wrong, +let its defenders correct it. + +The Christianity of Paine's day is not the Christianity of our time. +There has been a great improvement since then. It is better now +because there is less of it. One hundred and fifty years ago the +foremost preachers of our time--that gentleman who preaches in this +magnificent hall--would have perished at the stake. Lord, Lord, how +John Calvin would have liked to have roasted this man, and the perfume +of his burning flesh would have filled heaven with joy. A Universalist +would have been torn to pieces in England, Scotland, and America. +Unitarians would have found themselves in the stocks, pelted by the +rabble with dead cats, after which their ears would have been cut off, +their tongues bored, and their foreheads branded. Less than one +hundred and fifty years ago the following law was in force in Maryland: + + +"Be it enacted by the right honorable, the lord proprietor, by and with +the advice and consent of his lordship's governor, and the upper and +lower houses of the assembly, and the authority of the same: That if +any person shall hereafter, within this province, willingly, +maliciously, and advisedly, by writing or speaking, blaspheme or curse +God, or deny our Savior, Jesus Christ, to be the son of God, or shall +deny the Holy Trinity, the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost, or the +God-head of any of the three persons, or the unity of the God-head, or +shall utter any profane words concerning the Holy Trinity, or the +persons thereof and shall therefore be convicted by verdict, shall, for +the first offense, be bored through the tongue, and fined L20, to be +levied on his body. As for the second offense, the offender shall be +stigmatized by burning in the forehead the letter B, and fined L40. +And that for the third offense, the offender shall suffer death without +the benefit of clergy." + + +The strange thing about this law is, that it has never been repealed, +and was in force in the District of Columbia up to 1875. Laws like +this were in force in most of the colonies and in all countries where +the church had power. + +In the Old Testament the death penalty was attached hundreds of +offenses. It has been the same in all Christian countries. Today, in +civilized governments, the death penalty is attached only to murder and +treason; and in some it has been entirely abolished. What a commentary +upon the divine systems of the World! + +In the days of Thomas Paine the church was ignorant, bloody, and +relentless. In Scotland the "kirk" was at the summit of its power. It +was a full sister of the Spanish Inquisition. It waged war upon human +nature. It was the enemy of happiness, the hater of joy, and the +despiser of liberty. It taught parents to murder their children rather +than to allow them to propagate error. If the mother held opinions of +which the infamous "kirk" disapproved, her children were taken from her +arms, her babe from her very bosom, and she was not allowed to see +them, or write them a word. It would not allow ship-wrecked sailors to +be rescued from drowning on Sunday. + +Oh, you have no idea what a muss it kicks up in heaven to have anybody +swim on Sunday. It fills all the wheeling worlds with sadness to see a +boy in a boat, and the attention of the recording secretary is called +to it. In a voice of thunder they say, "Upset him!" It sought to +annihilate pleasure, to pollute the heart by filling it with religious +cruelty and gloom, and to change mankind into a vast horde of pious, +heartless fiends. One of the most famous Scotch divines said: "The +kirk holds that religious toleration is not far from blasphemy." And +this same Scotch kirk denounced, beyond measure, the man who had the +moral grandeur to say, "The world is my country, and to do good my +religion." And this same kirk abhorred the man who said, "Any system +of religion that shocks the mind of a child can not be a true system." + +At that time nothing so delighted the church as the beauties of endless +torment, and listening to the weak wailing of damned infants struggling +in the slimy coils and poison folds of the worm that never dies. + +About the beginning of the nineteenth century a boy by the name of +Thomas Aikenhead was indicted and tried at Edinburgh for having denied +the inspiration of the scriptures, and for having, on several +occasions, when cold, wished himself in hell that he might get warm. +Notwithstanding the poor boy recanted and begged for mercy, he was +found guilty and hanged. His body was thrown in a hole at the foot of +the scaffold and covered with stones, and though his mother came with +her face covered with tears, begging for the corpse, she was denied and +driven away in the name of charity. That is religion, and in the +velvet of their politeness there lurks the claws of the tiger. Just +give them the power and see how quick I would leave this part of the +country. They know I am going to be burned forever; they know I am +going to hell, but that don't satisfy them. They want to give me a +little foretaste here. + +Prosecutions and executions like these were common in every Christian +country, and all of them based upon the belief that an intellectual +conviction is a crime. No wonder the church hated and traduced the +author of the "Age of Reason." England was filled with Puritan gloom +and Episcopal ceremony. The ideas of crazy fanatics and extravagant +poets were taken as sober facts. Milton had clothed Christianity in the +soiled and faded finery of the gods--had added to the story of Christ +the fables of mythology. He gave to the Protestant church the most +outrageously material ideas of the Deity. He turned all the angels +into soldiers--made heaven a battle-field, put Christ in uniform, and +described God as a militia-general. His works were considered by the +Protestants nearly as sacred as the Bible itself, and the imagination +of the people was thoroughly polluted by the horrible imagery, the +sublime absurdity of the blind Milton. + +Heaven and hell were realities--the judgment-day was expected--books of +accounts would be opened. Every man would hear the charges against him +read. God was supposed to sit upon a golden throne, surrounded by the +tallest angels, with harps in their hands and crowns on their heads. +The goats would be thrust into eternal fire on the left, while the +orthodox sheep, on the right, were to gambol on sunny slopes forever +and ever. So all the priests were willing to save the sheep for half +the wool. + +The nation was profoundly ignorant, and consequently extremely +religious, so far as belief was concerned. In Europe liberty was lying +chained up in the inquisition, her white bosom stained with blood. In +the new world the Puritans had been hanging and burning in the name of +God, and selling white Quaker children into slavery in the name of +Christ, who said, "Suffer little children to come unto Me." + +Under such conditions progress was impossible. Some one had to lead +the way. The church is and always has been, incapable of a forward +movement. Religion always looks back. The church has already reduced +Spain to a guitar, Italy to a hand-organ, and Ireland to exile. + +Some one, not connected with the church, had to attack the monster that +was eating out the heart of the world. Some one had to sacrifice +himself for the good of all. The people were in the most abject +slavery; their manhood had been taken from them by pomp, by pageantry, +and power. + +Progress is born of doubt and inquiry. The church never doubts--never +inquires. To doubt is heresy--to inquire is to admit that you do not +know--the church does neither. + +More than a century ago Catholicism, wrapped in robes red with the +innocent blood of millions, holding in her frantic clutch crowns and +scepters, honors and gold, the keys of heaven and hell, tramping +beneath her feet the liberties of nations, in the proud movement of +almost universal dominion, felt within her heartless breast the deadly +dagger of Voltaire. From that blow the church can never recover. +Livid with hatred she launched her eternal anathema at the great +destroyer, and ignorant Protestants have echoed the curse of Rome. + +In our country the church was all-powerful, and, although divided into +many sects, would instantly unite to repel a common foe. Paine did for +Protestantism what Voltaire did for Catholicism. Paine struck the +first blow. + +The "Age of Reason" did more to undermine the power of the Protestant +church than all other books then known. It furnished an immense amount +of food for thought. It was written for the average mind, and is a +straightforward, honest investigation of the Bible, and of the +Christian System. + +Paine did not falter from the first page to the last. He gives you his +candid thought, and candid thoughts are always valuable. + +The "Age of Reason" has liberalized us all. It put arguments in the +mouths of the people; it put the church on the defensive, it enabled +somebody in every village to corner the parson; it made the world wiser +and the church better; it took power from the pulpit and divided it +among the pews. Just in proportion that the human race has advanced, +the church has lost its power. There is no exception to this rule. No +nation ever materially advanced that held strictly to the religion of +its founders. No nation ever gave itself wholly to the control of the +church without losing its power, its honor, and existence. + +Every church pretends to have found the exact truth. This is the end +of progress. Why pursue that which you have? Why investigate when you +know. Every creed is a rock in running water; humanity sweeps by it. +Every creed cries to the universe, "Halt!" A creed is the ignorant +past bullying the enlightened present. + +The ignorant are not satisfied with what can be demonstrated. Science +is too slow for them, and so they invent creeds. They demand +completeness. A sublime segment, a grand fragment, are of no value to +them. They demand the complete circle--the entire structure. + +In music they want a melody with a recurring accent at measured +periods. In religion they insist upon immediate answers to the +questions of creation and destiny. The alpha and omega of all things +must be in the alphabet of their superstition. A religion that can not +answer every question, and guess every conundrum, is in their +estimation, worse than worthless. They desire a kind of theological +dictionary--a religious ready reckoner, together with guide-boards at +all crossings and turns. They mistake impudence for authority, +solemnity for wisdom, and pathos for inspiration. The beginning and the +end are what they demand. The grand flight of the eagle is nothing to +them. They want the nest in which he was hatched, and especially the +dry limb upon which he roosts. Anything that can be learned is hardly +worth knowing. The present is considered of no value in itself. +Happiness must not be expected this side of the clouds, and can only be +attained by self-denial and faith; not self-denial for the good of +others, but for the salvation of your own sweet self. + +Paine denied the authority of Bibles and creeds; this was his crime, +and for this the world shut the door in his face and emptied its slops +upon him from the windows. + +I challenge the world to show that Thomas Paine ever wrote one line, +one word in favor of tyranny--in favor of immorality; one line, one +word against what he believed to be for the highest and best interest +of mankind; one line, one word against justice, charity, or liberty, +and yet he has been pursued as though he had been a fiend from hell. +His memory had been execrated as though he had murdered some Uriah for +his wife; driven some Hagar into the desert to starve with his child +upon her bosom; defiled his own daughters; ripped open with the sword +the sweet bodies of loving and innocent women; advised one brother to +assassinate another; kept a harem with seven hundred wives and three +hundred concubines, or had persecuted Christians even unto strange +cities. + +The church has pursued Paine to deter others. The church used +painting, music, and architecture simply to degrade mankind. But there +are men that nothing can awe. There have been at all times brave +spirits that dared even the gods. Some proud head has always been +above the waves. Old Diogenes, with his mantle upon him, stiff and +trembling with age, caught a small animal bred upon people, went into +the Pantheon, the temple of the gods, and took the animal upon his +thumb nail, and, pressing it with the other, "he sacrificed Diogenes to +all the gods." Just as good as anything! In every age some Diogenes +has sacrificed to all the gods. True genius never cowers, and there is +always some Samson feeling for the pillars of authority. + +Cathedrals and domes, and chimes and chants, temples frescoed and +grained and carved, and gilded with gold, altars and tapers, and +paintings of virgin and babe, censer and chalice, chasuble, paten and +alb, organs, and anthems and incense rising to the winged and blest, +maniple, anice and stole, crosses and crosiers, tiaras, and crowns, +mitres and missals and masses, rosaries, relics and robes, martyrs and +saints, and windows stained as with the blood of Christ, never, never +for one moment awed the brave, proud spirit of the infidel. He knew +that all the pomp and glitter had been purchased with liberty, that +priceless jewel of the soul. In looking at the cathedral he remembered +the dungeon. The music of the organ was not loud enough to drown the +clank of fetters. He could not forget that the taper had lighted the +fagot. He knew that the cross adorned the hilt of the sword, and so +where others worshiped, he wept and scorned. He knew that across the +open Bible lay the sword of war, and so where others worshiped he +looked with scorn and wept. And so it has been through all the ages +gone. + +The doubter, the investigator, the infidel, have been the saviors of +liberty. The truth is beginning to be realized, and the truly +intellectual are honoring the brave thinker of the past. But the +church is as unforgiving as ever, and still wonders why any infidel +should be wicked enough to attempt to destroy her power. I will tell +the church why I hate it. + +You have imprisoned the human mind; you have been the enemy of liberty; +you have burned us at the stake, roasted us before slow fires, torn our +flesh with irons; you have covered us with chains, treated us as +outcasts; you have filled the world With fear; you have taken our wives +and children from our arms; you have confiscated our property; you have +denied us the right to testify in courts of justice; you have branded +us with infamy; you have torn out our tongues; you have refused us +burial. In the name of your religion you have robbed us of every +right; and after having inflicted upon us every evil that can be +inflicted in this world, you have fallen upon your knees, and with +clasped hands implored your God to finish the holy work in hell. + +Can you wonder that we hate your doctrines; that we despise your +creeds; that we feel proud to know that we are beyond your power; that +we are free in spite of you; that we can express our honest thought, +and that the whole world is gradually rising into the blessed light? +Can you wonder that we point with pride to the fact that infidelity has +ever been found battling for the rights of man, for the liberty of +conscience, and for the happiness of all? Can you wonder that we are +proud to know that we have always been disciples of reason and soldiers +of freedom; that we have denounced tyranny and superstition, and have +kept our hands unstained with human blood? + +I deny that religion is the end or object of this life. When it is so +considered it becomes destructive of happiness. The real end of life +is, happiness. It becomes a hydra-headed monster, reaching in terrible +coils from the heavens, and thrusting its thousand fangs into the +bleeding, quivering hearts of men. It devours their substance, builds +palaces for God (who dwells not in temples made with hands), and allows +His children to die in huts and hovels. It fills the earth with +mourning, heaven with hatred, the present with fear, and all the future +with fear and despair. Virtue is a subordination of the passion of the +intellect. It is to act in accordance with your highest convictions. +It does not consist in believing, but in doing. This is the sublime +truth that the infidels in all ages have uttered. They have handed the +torch from one to the other through all the years that have fled. Upon +the altar of reason they have kept the sacred fire, and through the +long midnight of faith they fed the divine flame. Infidelity is +liberty; all superstition is slavery. In every creed man is the slave +of God, woman is the slave of man, and the sweet children are the +slaves of all. We do not want creeds; we want some knowledge. We want +happiness. And yet we are told by the church that we have accomplished +nothing; that we are simply destroyers; that we tear down without +building again. + +Is it nothing to free the mind? Is it nothing to civilize mankind? Is +it nothing to fill the world with light, with discovery, with science? +Is it nothing to dignify man and exalt the intellect. Is it nothing to +grope your way into the dreary prisons, the damp and dropping dungeons, +the dark and silent cells of superstition, where the souls of men are +chained to floors of stone; to greet them like a ray of light, like the +song of a bird, the murmur of a stream, to see the dull eyes open and +grow slowly bright; to feel yourself grasped by the shrunken and unused +hands, and hear yourself thanked by a strange and hollow voice? Is it +nothing to conduct these souls gradually into the blessed light of +day--to let them see again the happy fields, the sweet, green earth, +and hear the everlasting music of the waves? Is it nothing to make men +wipe the dust from their swollen knees, the tears from their blanched +and furrowed cheeks? Is it a small thing to reave the heavens of an +insatiate monster and write upon the eternal dome, glittering with +stars, the grand word liberty? Is it a small thing to quench the +thirst of hell with the holy tears of piety, break all the chains, put +out the fires of civil war, stay the sword of the fanatic, and tear the +bloody hands of the church from the white throat of progress? Is it a +small thing to make men truly free, to destroy the dogmas of ignorance, +prejudice, and power, the poisoned fables of superstition, and drive +from the beautiful face of the earth the fiend of fear? + +It does seem as though the most zealous Christians must at times +entertain some doubt as to the divine origin of his religion. For +eighteen hundred years the doctrine has been preached. For more than a +thousand years the church had, to a great extent, the control of the +civilized world, and what has been the result? Are the Christian +nations patterns of charity and forbearance? On the contrary, their +principal business is to destroy each other. More than five millions +of Christians are trained and educated and drilled to murder their +fellow-Christians. Every nation is groaning under a vast debt incurred +in carrying on war against other Christians, or defending itself from +Christian assault. The world is covered with forts to protect +Christians from Christians, and every sea is covered with iron monsters +ready to blow Christian brains into eternal froth. Millions upon +millions are annually expended in the effort to construct still more +deadly and terrible engines of death. Industry is crippled, honest +toil is robbed, and even beggary is taxed to defray the expenses of +Christian murder. There must be some other way to reform this world. +We have tried creed and dogma, and fable, and they have failed--and +they have failed in all the nations dead. + +Nothing but education--scientific education--can benefit mankind. We +must find out the laws of nature and conform to them. We need free +bodies and free minds, free labor and free thought, chainless hands and +fetterless brains. Free labor will give us wealth. Free thought will +give us truth. We need men with moral courage to speak and write their +real thoughts, and to stand by their convictions, even to the very +death. We need have no fear of being too radical. The future will +verify all grand and brave predictions. Paine was splendidly in +advance of his time, but he was orthodox compared to the infidels of +today. + +Science, the great iconoclast, has been very busy since 1809, and by +the highway of progress are the broken images of the past. On every +hand the people advance. The vicar of God has been pushed from the +throne of the Caesars, and upon the roofs of the Eternal city falls +once more the shadow of the eagle. All has been accomplished by the +heroic few. The men of science have explored heaven and earth, and +with infinite patience have furnished the facts. The brave thinkers +have aided them. The gloomy caverns of superstition have been +transformed into temples of thought, and the demons of the past are the +angels of today. + +Science took a handful of sand, constructed a telescope, and with it +explored the starry depths of heaven. Science wrested from the gods +their thunderbolts; and now, the electric spark freighted with thought +and love, flashes under all the waves of the sea. Science took a tear +from the cheek of unpaid labor, converted it into steam, and created a +giant that turns with tireless arm the countless wheels of toil. + +Thomas Paine was one of the intellectual heroes, one of the men to whom +we are indebted. His name is associated forever with the great +republic. He lived a long, laborious, and useful life. The world is +better for his having lived. For the sake of truth he accepted hatred +and reproach for his portion. He ate the bitter bread of neglect and +sorrow. His friends were untrue to him because he was true to himself +and true to them. He lost the respect of what is called society, but +kept his own. His life is what the world calls failure, and what +history calls success. + +If to love your fellow-men more than self is goodness, Thomas Paine was +good. If to be in advance of your time, to be a pioneer in the +direction of right, is greatness, Thomas Paine was great. If to avow +your principles and discharge your duty in the presence of death is +heroic, Thomas Paine was a hero. + +At the age of 73, death touched his tired heart. He died in the land +his genius defended, under the flag he gave to the skies. Slander can +not touch him now; hatred can not reach him more. He sleeps in the +sanctuary of the tomb, beneath the quiet of the stars. A few more +years, a few more brave men, a few more rays of light, and mankind will +venerate the memory of him who said: + +"Any system of religion that shocks the mind of a child can not be a +true system. The world is my country, and to do good my religion." + +The next question is: Did Thomas Paine recant? Mr. Paine had +prophesied that fanatics would crawl and cringe around him during his +last moments. He believed that they would put a lie in the mouth of +death. When the shadow of the coming dissolution was upon him, two +clergymen, Messrs. Milledollar and Cunningham, called to annoy the +dying man. Mr. Cunningham had the politeness to say: "You have now a +full view of death; you can not live long; whoever does not believe in +the Lord Jesus Christ, will assuredly be damned." Mr. Paine replied: +"Let me have none of your popish stuff. Get away with you. Good +morning." On another occasion a Methodist minister obtruded himself. +Mr. Willet Hicks was present. The minister declared to Mr. Paine that +"unless he repented of his unbelief he would be damned." Paine, +although at the door of death, rose in his bed and indignantly +requested the clergyman to leave the room. On another occasion, two +brothers by the name of Pigott sought to convert him. He was +displeased, and requested their departure. Afterward, Thomas Nixon and +Capt. Daniel Pelton visited him for the express purpose of ascertaining +whether he had, in any manner, changed his religious opinions. They +were assured, by the dying man that he still held the principles he had +expressed in his writings. + +Afterward, these gentlemen, hearing that William Cobbet was about to +write a life of Paine, sent him the following note: I must tell you +now that it is of great importance to find out whether Paine recanted. +If he recanted, then the Bible is true--you can rest assured that a +spring of water gushed out of a dead dry bone. If Paine recanted, +there is not the slightest doubt about that donkey making that speech +to Mr. Baalam--not the slightest--and if Paine did not recant, then the +whole thing is a mistake. I want to show that Thomas Paine died as he +has lived, a friend of man and without superstition, and if you will +stay here I will do it. + + +"New York, April 21, 1818.--Sir: Having been informed that you have a +design to write a history of the life and writings of Thomas Paine, if +you have been furnished with materials in respect to his religious +opinions, or rather of his recantation of his former opinions before +his death, all you have heard of his recanting is false. Being aware +that such reports would be raised after his death by fanatics who +infested his house at the time it was expected he would die, we, the +subscribers, intimate acquaintances of Thomas Paine since the year +1776, went to his house. He was sitting up in a chair, and apparently +in full vigor and use of all his mental faculties. We interrogated him +upon his religious opinions, and if he had changed his mind, or +repented of anything he had said or wrote on that subject. He +answered, "Not at all," and appeared rather offended at our supposition +that any change should take place in his mind. We took down in writing +the questions put to him and his answers thereto, before a number of +persons then in his room, among whom were his doctor, Mrs. Bonneville, +etc. This paper is mislaid and can not be found at present, but the +above is the substance, which can be attested by many living +witnesses.--Thomas Nixon, Daniel Pelton" + + +Mr. Jarvis, the artist, saw Mr. Paine one or two days before his death. +To Mr. Jarvis he expressed his belief in his written opinions upon the +subject of religion. B.F. Haskin, an attorney of the City of New York, +also visited him, and inquired as to his religious opinions. Paine was +then upon the threshold of death, but he did not tremble, he was not a +coward. He expressed his firm and unshaken belief in the religious +ideas he had given to the world. + +Dr. Manly was with him when he spoke his last words. Dr. Manly asked +the dying man, and Dr. Manly was a Christian, if he did not wish to +believe that Jesus was the Son of God, and the dying philosopher +answered: "I have no wish to believe on that subject." Amasa +Woodsworth sat up with Thomas Paine the night before his death. In +1839 Gilbert Vale, hearing that Woodsworth was living in or near +Boston, visited him for the purpose of getting his statement, and the +statement was published in The Beacon of June 5, 1830, and here it is: + + +"We have just returned from Boston. One object of our visit to that +city was to see Mr. Amasa Woodsworth, an engineer, now retired in a +handsome cottage and garden at East Cambridge, Boston. This gentleman +owned the house occupied by Paine at his death, while he lived next +door. As an act of kindness, Mr. Woodsworth visited Mr. Paine every +day for six weeks before his death. He frequently sat up with him and +did so on the last two nights of his life. He was always there with +Dr. Manly, the physician, and assisted in removing Mr. Paine while his +bed was prepared. He was present when Dr. Manly asked Mr. Paine if he +wished to believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God. He said that +lying on his back he used some action and with much emphasis replied: +'I have no wish to believe on that subject.' He lived some time after +this, but was not known to speak, for he died tranquilly. He accounts +for the insinuating style of Dr. Manly's letter by stating that that +gentleman, just after its publication, joined a church. He informs us +that he has openly proved the doctor for the falsity contained in the +spirit of that letter, boldly declaring before Dr. Manly, who is still +living, that nothing which he saw justified the insinuations. Mr. +Woodsworth assures us that he neither heard nor saw anything to justify +the belief of any mental change in the opinions of Mr. Paine previous +to his death; but that being very ill and in pain, chiefly arising from +the skin being removed in some parts by long lying, he was generally +too uneasy to enjoy conversation on abstract subjects. This, then, is +the best evidence that can be procured on this subject, and we publish +it while the contravening parties are yet alive, and with the authority +of Mr. Woodsworth.--Gilbert Vale" + + +A few weeks ago I received the following letter, which confirms the +statement of Mr. Vale: + + +"Near Stockton, Cal., Greenwood Cottage, July 9. 1877.--Col. Ingersoll: +In 1812 I talked with a gentleman in Boston. I have forgotten his +name; but he was then an engineer of the Charleston navy yard. I am +thus particular so that you can find his name on the books. He told me +that he nursed Thomas Paine in his last illness and closed his eyes +when dead. I asked him if he recanted and called upon God to save him. +He replied: No; he died as he had taught. He had a sore upon his +side, and when we turned him it was very painful, and he would cry out, +'O God!' or something like that. 'But,' said the narrator, 'that was +nothing, for he believed in a God.' I told him that I had often heard +it asserted from the pulpit that Mr. Paine had recanted in his last +moment. The gentleman said that it was not true, and he appeared to be +an intelligent, truthful man. With respect, I remain, etc., Philip +Graves, M.D." + + +The next witness is Willet Hicks, a Quaker preacher. He says that +during the last illness of Mr. Paine he visited him almost daily, and +that Paine died firmly convinced of the truth of the religious opinions +that he had given to his fellow-men. It was to this same Willet Hicks +that Paine applied for permission to be buried in the cemetery of the +Quakers. Permission was refused. This refusal settles the question of +recantation. If he had recanted, of course there would have been no +objection to his body being buried by the side of the best hypocrites +in the earth. If Paine recanted, why should he denied "a little earth +for charity?" Had he recanted, it would have been regarded as a vast +and splendid triumph for the gospel. It would, with much noise and +pomp and ostentation, have been heralded about the world. + +Here is another letter: + +"Peoria, Ill., Oct. 8, 1877.--Robert G. Ingersoll--Esteemed Friend: My +parents were Friends (Quakers). My father died when I was very young. +The elderly and middle-aged Friends visited at my mother's house. We +lived in the City of New York. Among the number I distinctly remember +Elias Hicks, Willet Hicks, and a Mr. -- Day, who was a bookseller in +Pearl St. There were many others whose names I do not now remember. +The subject of the recantation of Thomas Paine of his views about the +Bible in his last illness, or any other time, was discussed by them in +my presence at different times. I learned from them that some of them +had attended upon Thomas Paine in his last sickness, and ministered to +his wants up to the time of his death. And upon the question of +whether he did recant there was but one expression. They all said that +he did not recant in any manner. I often heard them say they wished he +had recanted. In fact, according to them, the nearer he approached +death the more positive he appeared to be in his convictions. These +conversations were from 1820 to 1822. I was at that time from ten to +twelve years old, but these conversations impressed themselves upon me +because many thoughtless people then blamed the society of Friends for +their kindness to that "arch-infidel," Thomas Paine. Truly yours, A.C. +Hankenson" + + +A few days ago I received the following: + + +"Albany, N.Y., Sept. 27, 1877.--Dear Sir: It is over twenty years ago +that, professionally, I made the acquaintance of John Hogeboom, a +justice of the peace of the County Rensselaer, New York. He was then +over seventy years of age, and had the reputation of being a man of +candor and integrity. He was a great admirer of Paine. He told me he +was personally acquainted with him, and used to see him frequently +during the last years of his life in the City of New York, where +Hogeboom then resided. I asked him if there was any truth in the +charge that Paine was in the habit of getting drunk. He said that +it was utterly false; that he never heard of such a thing during the +lifetime of Mr. Paine, and did not believe anyone else did. I asked +him about the recantation of his religious opinions on his deathbed, +and the revolting deathbed scenes that the world heard so much about. +He said there was no truth in them; that he had received his +information from persons who attended Paine in his last illness, and +that he passed peacefully, as we may say, in the sunshine of a great +soul. Yours truly, W.J. Hilton" + + +The witnesses by whom I substantiate the fact that Thomas Paine did not +recant, and that he died holding the religious opinions he had +published are: + +1. Thomas Nixon, Capt. Daniel Pelton, B.F. Haskin. These gentlemen +visited him during his last illness for the purpose of ascertaining +whether he had, in any respect, changed his views upon religion. He +told them that he had not. + +2. James Cheetham. This man was the most malicious enemy Mr. Paine +had, and yet he admits that "Thomas Paine died placidly, and almost +without a struggle."--Life of Thomas Paine, by James Cheetham. + +3. The ministers, Milledollar and Cunningham. These gentleman told +Mr. Paine that if he died without believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, +he would be damned, and Paine replied: "Let me have none of your +popish stuff. Good morning."--Sherwin's Life of Paine, page 220. + +4. Mrs. Hedden. She told these same preachers, when they attempted to +obtrude themselves upon Mr. Paine again, that the attempt to convert +Mr. Paine was useless; "that if God did not change his mind, no human +power could." + +5. Andrew A. Dean. This man lived upon Paine's farm, at New Rochelle, +and corresponded with him upon religious subjects.--Paine's Theological +Works, page 308. + +6. Mr. Jarvis, the artist with whom Paine lived. He gives an account +of an old lady coming to Paine, and telling him that God Almighty had +sent her to tell him that unless he repented and believed in the +blessed savior he would be damned. Paine replied that God would not +send such a foolish old woman with such an impertinent message.--Clio +Rickman's Life of Paine. + +7. William Carver, with whom Paine boarded. Mr. Carver said again and +again that Paine did not recant. He knew him well, and had every +opportunity of knowing.--Life of Paine, by Vale. + +8. Dr. Manly, who attended him in his last sickness, and to whom Paine +spoke his last words. Dr. Manly asked him if he did not wish to +believe in Jesus Christ. and he replied: "I have no wish to believe on +that subject." + +9. Willet Hicks and Elias Hicks, who were with him frequently during +his last sickness, and both of whom tried to persuade him to recant. +According to their testimony Mr. Paine died as he lived--a believer in +God and a friend to man. Willet Hicks was offered money to say +something false against Paine. He was even offered money to remain +silent, and allow others to slander the dead. Mr. Hicks, speaking of +Thomas Paine, said: "He was a good man. Thomas Paine was an honest +man." + +10. Amasa Woodsworth, who was with him every day for some six weeks +immediately preceding his death, and sat up with him the last two +nights of his life. This man declares that Paine did not recant, and +that he died tranquilly. The evidence of Mr. Woodsworth is conclusive. + +11. Thomas Paine himself. The will of Mr. Paine, written by himself, +commences as follows: "The last will and testament of me, the +subscriber, Thomas Paine, reposing confidence in my Creator, God, and +in no other being, for I know of no other, nor believe in any other," +and closes with these words: "I have lived an honest and useful life +to mankind. My time has been spent in doing good, and I die in perfect +composure and resignation to the will of my Creator, God." + +12. If Thomas Paine recanted, why do you pursue him? If he recanted +he died in your belief. For what reason, then, do you denounce his +death as cowardly? If upon his death-bed he renounced the opinions he +had published, the business of defaming him should be done by infidels, +not by Christians. I ask Christians if it is honest to throw away the +testimony of his friends, the evidence of fair and honorable men, and +take the putrid words of avowed and malignant enemies? When Thomas +Paine was dying he was infested by fanatics, by the snaky spies of +bigotry. In the shadows of death were the unclean birds of prey +waiting to tear, with beak and claw, the corpse of him who wrote the +"Rights of Man," and there lurking and crouching in the darkness, were +the jackals and hyenas of superstition, ready to violate his grave. +These birds of prey--these unclean beasts--are the witnesses produced +and relied upon to malign the memory of Thomas Paine. One by one the +instruments of torture have been wrenched from the cruel clutch of the +church, until within the armory of orthodoxy there remains but one +weapon--Slander. + +Against the witnesses that I have produced there can be brought just +two--Mary Roscoe and Mary Hinsdale. The first is referred to in the +memoir of Stephen Grellet. She had once been a servant in his house. +Grellet tells what happened between this girl and Paine. According to +this account, Paine asked her if she had ever read any of his writings, +and on being told that she had read very little of them, he inquired +what she thought of them, adding that from such an one as she he +expected a correct answer. + +Let us examine this falsehood. Why would Paine expect a correct answer +about his writings from one who read very little of them? Does not such +a statement devour itself? This young lady further said that the "Age +of Reason" was put in her hands, and that the more she read in it, the +more dark and distressed she felt, and that she threw the book into the +fire. Whereupon Mr. Paine remarked: "I wish all had done as you did, +for if the devil ever had any agency in any work, he had in my writing +that book." + +The next is Mary Hinsdale. She was a servant in the family of Willet +Hicks. The church is always proving something by a nurse. She, like +Mary Roscoe, was sent to carry some delicacy to Mr. Paine. To this +young lady Paine, according to his account, said precisely the same +that he did to Mary Roscoe, and she said the same thing to Mr. Paine. + +My own opinion is that Mary Roscoe and Mary Hinsdale are one and the +same person, or the same story has been, by mistake, put in the mouths +of both. It is not possible that the identical conversation should +have taken place between Paine and Mary Roscoe and between him and Mary +Hinsdale. Mary Hinsdale lived with Willet Hicks, and he pronounced her +story a pious fraud and fabrication. + +Another thing about this witness. A woman by the name of Mary +Lockwood, a Hicksite Quaker, died. Mary Hinsdale met her brother about +that time and told him that his sister had recanted, and wanted her to +say so at her funeral. This turned out to be a lie. + +It has been claimed that Mary Hinsdale made her statement to Charles +Collins. Long after the alleged occurrence Gilbert Vale, one of the +biographers of Paine, had a conversation with Collins concerning Mary +Hinsdale. Vale asked him what he thought of her. He replied that some +of the Friends believed that she used opiates, and that they did not +give credit to her statements. He also said that he believed what the +Friends said, but thought that when a young Roman she might have told +the truth. + +In 1818 William Cobbett came to New York. He began collecting material +for a life of Thomas Paine. In this way he became acquainted with Mary +Hinsdale and Charles Collins. Mr. Cobbett gave a full account of what +happened in a letter addressed to The Norwich Mercury in 1819. From +this account it seems that Charles Collins told Cobbett that Paine had +recanted. Cobbett called for the testimony, and told Mr. Collins that +he must give time, place, and circumstances. He finally brought a +statement that he stated had been made by Mary Hinsdale. Armed with +this document, Cobbett, in October of that year, called upon the said +Mary Hinsdale, at No. 10 Anthony Street, New York, and showed her the +statement. Upon being questioned by Mr. Cobbett she said that it was +so long ago that she could not speak positively to any part of the +matter; that she would not say that any part of the paper was true; +that she had never seen the paper, and that she had never given Charles +Collins authority to say anything about the matter in her name. And so +in the month of October, in the year of grace 1818, in the mist of fog +and forgetfulness, disappeared forever one Mary Hinsdale, the last and +only witness against the intellectual honesty of Thomas Paine. + +A letter was written to the editor of The New York World by the Rev. +A.W. Cornell, in which he says: + + +"Sir: I see by your paper that Bob Ingersoll discredits Mary Hinsdale's +story of the scenes which occurred at the death bed of Thomas Paine. +No one who knew that good old lady would for one moment doubt her +veracity, or question her testimony. Both she and her husband were +Quaker preachers, and well known and respected inhabitants of New York +City. + +"Ingersoll is right in his conjecture that Mary Roscoe and Mary +Hinsdale were the same person. Her maiden name was Roscoe and she +married Henry Hinsdale. My mother was a Roscoe, a niece of Mary +Roscoe, and lived with her for some time.--Rev. A.W. Cornell, +Harpersville, N.Y." + + +The editor of the New York Observer took up the challenge that I had +thrown down. I offered $1000 in gold to any minister who would prove, +or to any person who would prove that Thomas Paine recanted in his last +hours. The New York Observer accepted the wager, and then told a +falsehood about it. But I kept after the gentlemen until I forced +them, in their paper, published on the 1st of November, 1877; to print +these words: + + +"We have never stated in any form, nor have we ever supposed, that +Paine actually renounced his infidelity. The accounts agree in stating +that he died a blaspheming infidel." + + +This, I hope, for all coming time will refute the slanders of the +churches yet to be. + +The next charge they make is that Thomas Paine died in destitution and +want. That, of course, would show that he was wrong. They boast that +the founder of their religion had not whereon to lay his head, but when +they found a man who stood for the rights of man, when they say that he +did, that is an evidence that this doctrine was a lie. Won't do! Did +Thomas Paine die in destitution and want? The charge has been made +over and over again that Thomas Paine died in want and destitution; +that he was an abandoned pauper--an outcast, without friends and +without money. This charge is just as false as the rest. Upon his +return to this country, in 1802, he was worth $30,000, according to his +own statement, made at that time in the following letter, and addressed +to Clio Rickman: + + +"My dear friend, Mr. Monroe, who is appointed minister extraordinary to +France, takes charge of this, to be delivered to Mr. Este, banker, in +Paris, to be forwarded to you. + +"I arrived in Baltimore, 30th of October, and you can have no idea of +the agitation which my arrival occasioned. From New Hampshire to +Georgia (an extent of 1,500 miles), every newspaper was filled with +applause or abuse. + +"My property in this country has been taken care of by my friends, and +is now worth six thousand pounds sterling, which, put in the funds, +will bring about L400 sterling a year. + +"Remember me in affection and friendship to your wife and family, and +in the circle of your friends.--Thomas Paine" + + +A man in those days worth $30,000 was not a pauper. That amount would +bring an income of at least $2,000. Two thousand dollars then would be +fully equal to $5,000 now. On the 12th of July, 1809, the year in +which he died, Mr. Paine made his will. From this instrument we learn +that he was the owner of a valuable farm within twenty miles of New +York. He was also owner of thirty shares in the New York Phoenix +Insurance Company, worth upward of $1,500. Besides this, some personal +property and ready money. By his will he gave to Walter Morton and +Thomas Addis Emmet, a brother of Robert Emmet, $200 each, and $100 to +the widow of Elihu Palmer. Is it possible that this will was made by a +pauper, by a destitute outcast, by a man who suffered for the ordinary +necessities of life? + +But suppose, for the sake of argument, that he was poor, and that he +died a beggar, does that tend to show that the Bible is an inspired +book, and that Calvin did not burn Servetus? Do you really regard +poverty as a crime? If Paine had died a millionaire, would Christians +have accepted his religious opinions? If Paine had drank nothing but +cold water, would Christians have repudiated the five cardinal points +of Calvinism? Does an argument depend for its force upon the pecuniary +condition of the person making it? As a matter of fact, most +reformers--most men and women of genius--have been acquainted with +poverty. Beneath a covering of rags have been found some of the +tenderest and bravest hearts. Owing to the attitude of the churches +for the last fifteen hundred years, truth telling has not been a very +lucrative business. As a rule, hypocrisy has worn the robes, and +honesty the rags. That day is passing away. You can not now answer a +man by pointing at the holes in his coat. Thomas Paine attacked the +church when it was powerful; when it had what is called honors to +bestow; when it was the keeper of the public conscience; when it was +strong and cruel. The church waited till he was dead, and then attacked +his reputation and his clothes. Once upon a time a donkey kicked a +lion. The lion was dead. You just don't know how happy I am tonight +that justice so long delayed at last is going to be done, and to see so +many splendid looking people come here out of deference to the memory +of Thomas Paine. I am glad to be here. + +The next thing is: Did Thomas Paine live the life of a drunken beast, +and did he die a drunken, cowardly, and beastly death? Well, we will +see. Upon you rests the burden of substantiating these infamous +charges. The Christians have, I suppose, produced the best evidence in +their possession, and that evidence I will now proceed to examine. +Their first witness is Grant Thorburn. He made three charges against +Thomas Paine: + +1. That his wife obtained a divorce from him in England for cruelty +and neglect. + +2. That he was a defaulter and fled from England to America. + +3. That he was a drunkard. + +These three charges stand upon the same evidence--the word of Grant +Thorburn. If they are not all true, Mr. Thorburn stands impeached. +The charge that Mrs. Paine obtained a divorce on account of the cruelty +and neglect of her husband is utterly false. There is no such record +in the world, and never was. Paine and his wife separated by mutual +consent. Each respected the other. They remained friends. This charge +is without any foundation. In fact, I challenge the Christian world to +produce the record of this decree of divorce. According to Mr. +Thorburn, it was granted in England. In that country public records +are kept of all such decrees. I will give $1,000 if they will produce +a decree, showing that it was given on account of cruelty, or admit +that Mr. Thorburn was mistaken. + +Thomas Paine was a just man. Although separated from his wife, he +always spoke of her with tenderness and respect, and frequently lent +her money without letting her know the source from whence it came. Was +this the conduct of a drunken beast? + +The next is that he was a defaulter, and fled from England to America. +As I told you in the first place, he was an exciseman; if he was a +defaulter, that fact is upon the records of Great Britain. I will give +$1,000 in gold to any man who will show, by the records of England, +that he was a defaulter of a single, solitary cent. Let us bring these +gentlemen to Limerick. + +And they charge that he was a drunkard. That is another falsehood. He +drank liquor in his day, as did the preachers. It was no unusual thing +for a preacher going home to stop in a tavern and take a drink of hot +rum with a deacon, and it was no unusual thing for the deacon to help +the preacher home. You have no idea how they loved the sacrament in +those days. They had communion pretty much all the time. + +Thorburn says that in 1802 Paine was an "old remnant of mortality, +drunk, bloated, and half asleep." Can anyone believe this to be a true +account of the personal appearance of Mr. Paine in 1802? He had just +returned from France. He had been welcomed home by Thomas Jefferson, +who had said that he was entitled to the hospitality of every American. +In 1802 Mr. Paine was honored with a public dinner in the City of New +York. He was called upon and treated with kindness and respect by such +men as De Witt Clinton. In 1806 Mr. Paine wrote a letter to Andrew A. +Dean upon the subject of religion. Read that letter and then say that +the writer of it was an old remnant of mortality, drunk, bloated, and +half asleep. Search the files of Christian papers, from the first +issue to the last, and you will find nothing superior to this letter. +In 1803 Mr. Paine wrote a letter of considerable length, and of great +force to his friend Samuel Adams. Such letters are not written by +drunken beasts, nor by remnants of old mortality, nor by drunkards. It +was about the same time that he wrote his "Remarks on Robert Hall's +Sermons." These "Remarks" were not written by a drunken beast, but by +a clear-headed and thoughtful man. + +In 1804 he published an essay on the invasion of England and a treatise +on gun-boats, full of valuable maritime information; in 1805 a treatise +on yellow fever, suggesting modes of prevention. In short, he was an +industrious and thoughtful man. He sympathized with the poor and +oppressed of all lands. He looked upon monarchy as a species of +physical slavery. He had the goodness to attack that form of +government. He regarded the religion of his day as a kind of mental +slavery. He had the courage to give his reasons for his opinion. His +reasons filled the churches with hatred. Instead of answering his +arguments they attacked him. Men who were not fit to blacken his shoes +blackened his character. There is too much religious cant in the +statement of Mr. Thorburn. He exhibits too much anxiety to tell what +Grant Thorburn said to Thomas Paine. He names Thomas Jefferson as one +of the disreputable men who welcomed Paine with open arms. The +testimony of a man who regarded Thomas Jefferson as a disreputable +person, as to the character of anybody, is utterly without value. + +Now, Grant Thorburn--this gentleman who was "four feet and a half high, +and who weighed ninety-eight pounds three and one-half ounces"--says +that he used to sit nights at Carver's, in New York, with Thomas Paine. +Mrs. Ferguson, the daughter of William Carver, says that she knew +Thorburn when she saw him, but that she never saw him in her father's +house. The denial of Mrs. Ferguson enraged Thorburn, and he at once +wrote a few falsehoods about her. Thereupon a suit was commenced by +Mrs. Ferguson and her husband against Thorburn, the writer, and +Fanshaw, the publisher, of the libel. Thorburn ran away to +Connecticut. Fanshaw wrote him for evidence of what he had written. +Thorburn replied that what he had written about Mrs. Ferguson could not +be proved. Fanshaw then settled with the Fergusons, paying them the +amount demanded. + +In 1859 the Fergusons lived at 148 Duane Street, New York. In The +Commercial Advertiser of New York, in 1830, appeared the written +acknowledgement of this same little Grant Thorburn that he did, on the +22d of August, 1830, at half-past 6 in the morning, take four bottles +of cider from the cellar of Mr. Comstock. + +Mr. Comstock says that Thorburn was arrested, and that when brought +before him he pleaded guilty and threw himself upon his (Comstock's) +mercy. + +The Philadelphia Tract Society gave Thorburn $100 to write his +recollections of Thomas Paine. + +Let us dispose of this four feet and a half of wretch. In October, +1877, I received the following letter from James Parton: + + +"Newburyport, Mass., Oct 27, 1877.--My dear Sir: Touching Grant +Thorburn, I personally knew him to have been a liar. At the age of 92 +he copied with trembling hand a piece from a newspaper and brought it +to the office of The Rome Journal as his own. It was I who received it +and detected the deliberate forgery..... James Parton" + + +So much for Grant Thorburn. In my judgment, the testimony of Mr. +Thorburn should be thrown aside as utterly unworthy of belief. + +The next witness is the Rev. J.D. Wickham, D.D., who tells what an +elder in his church said. This elder said that Paine passed his last +days on his farm at New Rochelle, with a solitary female attendant. +This is not true. He did not pass his last days at New Rochelle, +consequently, this pious elder did not see him during his last days at +that place. Upon this elder we prove an alibi. Mr. Paine passed his +last days in the City of New York, in a house upon Columbia Street. +The story of the Rev. J.D. Wickham, D.D., is simply false. + +The next competent false witness was the Rev. Charles Hawley, D.D., who +proceeds to state that the story of the Rev. J.D. Wickham, D. D., is +corroborated by older citizens of New Rochelle. The names of these +ancient residents are withheld. According to these unknown witnesses, +the account given by the deceased elder was entirely correct. But as +the particulars of Mr. Paine's conduct "were too loathsome to be +described in print," we are left entirely in the dark as to what he +really did. + +While at New Rochelle, Mr. Paine lived with Mr. Purdy, Mr. Dean, with +Capt. Pelton, and with Mr. Staple. It is worthy of note that all of +these gentlemen give the lie direct to the statements of "older +residents" and ancient citizens spoken of by the Rev. Charles Hawley, +D.D., and leave him with the "loathsome particulars" existing only in +his own mind. + +The next gentleman brought upon the stand is W.H. Ladd, who quotes from +the memoirs of Stephen Grellett. This gentleman also has the +misfortune to be dead. According to his account, Mr. Paige made his +recantation to a servant girl of his by the name of Mary Roscoe. Mr. +Paine uttered the wish that all who read his book had burned it. I +believe there is a mistake in the name of this girl. Her name was +probably Mary Hinsdale, as it was once claimed that Paine made the same +remark to her. + +These are the witnesses of the church, and the only ones you bring +forward to support your charge that Thomas Paine lived a drunken and +beastly life, and died a drunken, cowardly, and beastly death. All +these calumnies are found in a life of Paine by James Cheetham, the +convicted libeler already referred to. Mr. Cheetham was an enemy of the +man whose life he pretended to write. In order to show you the +estimation in which this libeler was held by Mr. Paine, I will give you +a copy of a letter that throws light upon this point: + + +"Oct. 27, 1807.--Mr. Cheethan: Unless you make a public apology for +the abuse and falsehood in your paper of Tuesday, Oct. 27, respecting +me, I will prosecute you for lying.--Thomas Paine" + + +In another letter, speaking of this same man, Mr. Paine says: "If an +unprincipled bully can not be reformed, he can be punished." Cheetham +has been so long in the habit of giving false information, that truth +is to him like a foreign language. Mr. Cheetham wrote the life of Mr. +Paine to gratify his malice and to support religion. He was prosecuted +for libel--was convicted and fined. Yet the life of Paine, written by +this liar, is referred to by the Christian world as the highest +authority. + +As to the personal habits of Mr. Paine, we have the testimony of +William Carver; with whom he lived; of Mr. Jarvis, the artist, with +whom he lived; of Mr. Purdy, who was a tenant of Paine's; of Mr. Buyer, +with whom he was intimate; of Thomas Nixon and Capt. Daniel Pelton, +both of whom knew him well; of Amasa Woodsworth, who was with him when +he died; of John Fellows, who boarded at the same house; of James +Wilburn, with whom he boarded; of B.F. Haskins, a lawyer, who was well +acquainted with him, and called upon him during h is last illness; of +Walter Morton, President of the Phoenix Insurance Company; of Clio +Rickman, who had known him for many years; of Willet and Elias Hicks, +Quakers, who knew him intimately and well; of Judge Hertell, H. +Margary, Elihu Palmer and many others. All these testified to the fact +that Mr. Paige was a temperate man. In those days nearly everybody +used spirituous liquors. Paine was not an exception, but he did not +drink to excess. Mr. Lovett, who kept the City Hotel, where Paine +stopped, in a note to Caleb Bingham declared that Paine drank less than +any boarder he had. + +Against all this evidence Christians produce the story of Grant +Thorburn, the story of the Rev. J.D. Wickham, that an elder in his +church told him that Paine was a drunkard, corroborated by the Rev. +Charles Hawley, and an extract from Lossing's history to the same +effect. The evidence is overwhelmingly against them. Will you have the +fairness to admit it? Their witnesses are merely the repeaters of the +falsehoods of James Cheetham, the convicted libeler. + +After all, drinking is not as bad as lying. An honest drunkard is +better than a calumniator of the dead. "A remnant of old mortality +drunk, bloated, and half-asleep," is better than a perfectly sober +defender of human slavery. To become drunk is a virtue compared with +stealing a babe from the breast of its mother. Drunkenness is one of +the beatitudes, compared with editing a religious paper devoted to the +defense of slavery upon the ground that it is a divine institution. Do +you think that Paine was a drunken beast when he wrote "Common Sense," +a pamphlet that aroused three millions of people, as people were never +aroused by words before? Was he a drunken beast when he wrote the +"Crisis?" Was it to a drunken beast that the following letter was +addressed: + + +"Rocky Hill, September 10, 1783.--I have learned, since I have been at +this place, that you are at Bordentown. Whether for the sake of +retirement or economy, I know not. Be it for either, or both, or +whatever it may, if you will come to this place and partake with me, I +shall be exceedingly happy to see you at it. Your presence may remind +Congress of your past services to this country; and if it is in my +power to impress them, command my best exertions with freedom, as they +will be rendered cheerfully by one who entertains a lively sense of the +importance of your works, and who, with much pleasure, subscribes +himself your sincere friend.--George Washington" + + +Do you think that Paine was a drunken beast when the following letters +were received by him: + + +"You express a wish in your letter to return to America in a national +ship. Mr. Dawson, who brings over the treaty, and who will present you +with this letter, is charged with orders to the Captain of the Maryland +to receive and accommodate you back, if you can be ready to depart at +such a short warning. You will, in general, find us returned to +sentiments worthy of former times; in these it will be your glory to +have steadily labored, and with as much effect as any man living. That +you may live long to continue your useful labors, and reap the reward +in the thankfulness of nations, is my sincere prayer. Accept the +assurances of my high esteem and affectionate attachment.--Thomas +Jefferson" + + +"It has been very generally propagated through the continent that I +wrote the pamphlet "Common Sense." I could not have written anything +in so manly and striking a style.--John Adams" + + +"A few more such flaming arguments as were exhibited at Falmouth and +Norfolk, added to the sound doctrine and unanswerable reasoning +contained in the pamphlet "Common Sense," will not leave numbers at a +loss to decide on the propriety of a separation.--George Washington" + + +"It is not necessary for me to tell you how much all your countrymen--I +speak of the great mass of the people--are interested in your welfare. +They have not forgotten the history of their own revolution, and the +difficult scenes through which they passed; nor do they review its +several stages without reviving in their bosoms a due sensibility of +the merits of those who served them in that great and arduous conflict. +The crime of ingratitude has not yet stained, and I trust never will +stain, our national character. You are considered by them as not only +having rendered important services in our revolution, but as being on a +more extensive scale the friend of human right and a distinguished and +able advocate in favor of public liberty. To the welfare of Thomas +Paine, the Americans are not, nor can they be, indifferent.--James +Monroe" + + +"No writer has exceeded Paine in ease and familiarity of style, in +perspicuity of expression, happiness of elucidation, and in simple and +unassuming language.--Thomas Jefferson" + + +Was it in consideration of the services of a drunken beast that the +Legislature of Pennsylvania presented Thomas Paine with L500 sterling? +Did the State of New York feel indebted to a drunken beast, and confer +upon Thomas Paine an estate of several hundred acres? Did the Congress +of the United States thank him for his services because he had lived a +drunken and beastly life? Was he elected a member of the French +convention because he was a drunken beast? Was it the act of a drunken +beast to put his own life in jeopardy by voting against the death of +the King? Was it because he was a drunken beast that he opposed the +"Reign of Terror "--that he endeavored to stop the shedding of blood, +and did all in his power to protect even his own enemies? Do the +following extracts sound like the words of a drunken beast: + + +"I believe in the equality of man, and I believe that religious duties +consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavoring to make our +fellow creatures happy. + +"My own mind is my own church. + +"It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful +to himself. + +"Any system of religion that shocks the mind of a child can not be a +true system. + +"The work of God is the creation which we behold. + +"The age of ignorance commenced with the Christian system. + +"It is with a pious fraud as with a bad action--it begets a calamitous +necessity of going on. + +"To read the Bible without horror, we must undo everything that is +tender, sympathizing, and benevolent in the heart of man. + +"The man does not exist who can say I have persecuted him, or that I +have, in any case, returned evil for evil. + +"Of all the tyrants that afflict mankind, tyranny in religion is the +worst. + +"The belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man. + +"My own opinion is, that those whose lives have been spent in doing +good, and endeavoring to make their fellow-mortals happy, will be happy +hereafter. + +"The intellectual part of religion is a private affair between every +man and his Maker, and in which no third party has any right to +interfere. The practical part consists in our doing good to each other. + +"No man ought to make a living by religion. One person can not act +religion for another--every person must act for himself. + +"One good school-master is of more use than a hundred priests. Let us +propagate morality, unfettered by superstition. + +"God is the power, or first cause; nature is the law, and matter is the +subject acted upon. + +"I believe in one God and no more, and I hope for happiness beyond this +life. + +"The key of happiness is not in the keeping of any sect, nor ought the +road to it to be obstructed by any. + +"My religion, and the whole of it, is the fear and love of the Deity, +and universal philanthropy. + +"I have yet, I believe, some years in store, for I have a good state of +health and a happy mind. I take care of both, by nourishing the first +with temperance and the latter with abundance. + +"He lives immured within the Bastille of a word." + + +How perfectly that sentence describes the orthodox. The Bastille in +which they are immured is the word "Calvinism." + +"Man has no property in man." + +"The world is my country, to do good my religion." + +I ask again whether these splendid utterances came from the lips of a +drunken beast? + +"Man has no property in man." + +What a splendid motto that would make for the religious newspapers of +this country thirty years ago. I ask, again, whether these splendid +utterances came from the lips of a drunken beast? + +Only a little while ago--two or three days--I read a report of an +address made by Bishop Doane, an Episcopal Bishop in apostolic +succession--regular line from Jesus Christ down to Bishop Doane. The +Bishop was making a speech to young preachers--the sprouts, the +theological buds. He took it upon him to advise them all against early +marriages. Let us look at it. Do you believe there is any duty that +man owes to God that will prevent a man marrying the woman he loves? +Is there some duty that I owe to the clouds that will prevent me from +marrying some good, sweet woman? Now, just think of that! I tell you, +young man, you marry as soon as you can find her and support her. I +had rather have one woman that I know than any amount of gods that I am +not acquainted with. If there is any revelation from God to man, a +good woman is the best revelation he has ever made; and I will admit +that that revelation was inspired. + +Now, on the subject of marriage, let me offset the speech of Bishop +Doane by a word from this "wretched infidel:" + + +"Though I appear a sorry wanderer, the marriage state has not a +sincerer friend than I. It is the harbor of human life, and is, with +respect to the things of this world, what the next world is to this. +It is home, and that one word conveys more than any other word can +express. For a few years we may glide along the tide of a single life, +but it is a tide that flows but once, and, what is still worse, it ebbs +faster than it flows, and leaves many a hapless voyager aground. I am +one, you see, that has experienced the fall I am describing. I have +lost my tide; it passed by while every throb of my heart was on the +wing for the salvation of America, and I have now, as contentedly as I +can, made myself a little tower of walls on that shore that has the +solitary resemblance of home." + + +I just want you to know what this dreadful infidel thought of home. I +just wanted you to know what Thomas Paine thought of home. Then here +is another letter that Thomas Paine wrote to congress on the 21st day +of January, 1808, and I wanted you to know those two. + +It is only a short one: + + +"To the Honorable Senate of the United States: The purport of this +address is to state a claim I feel myself entitled to make on the +United States, leaving it to their representatives in congress to +decide on its worth and its merits. The case is as follows: + +"Toward the latter end of the year 1780 the continental money had +become depreciated--the paper dollar being then not more than a +cent--that it seemed next to impossible to continue the war. As the +United States was then in alliance with France it became necessary to +make France acquainted with our real situation. I therefore drew up a +letter to the Count De Vergennes, stating undisguisedly the whole case, +and concluding with a request whether France could not, either as a +subsidy of a loan, supply the United States with a million pounds +sterling, and continue that supply, annually, during the war. "I +showed this letter to Mr. Morbois, secretary of the French minister. +His remark upon it was that a million sent out of the nation exhausted +it more than ten millions spent in it. I then showed it to Mr. Ralph +Izard, member of congress from South Carolina. He borrowed the letter +of me and said: 'We will endeavor to do something about it in +congress.' Accordingly, congress then appointed John A. Laurens to go +to France and make representation for the purpose of obtaining +assistance. Col. Laurens wished to decline the mission, and asked that +congress would appoint Col. Hamilton, who did not choose to do it. +Col. Laurens then came and stated the case to me, and said that he was +well enough acquainted with the military difficulties of the army, but +he was not acquainted with political affairs, or with the resources of +the country, to undertake such a mission. Said he, 'If you will go +with me I will accept the mission.' This I agreed to do, and did do. +We sailed from Boston in the Alliance frigate February, 1781, and +arrived in France in the beginning of March. The aid obtained from +France was six millions of livres, as at present, and ten millions as a +loan, borrowed in Holland on the security of France. We sailed from +Brest in the French frigate Resolue the 1st of June, and arrived at +Boston on the 25th of August, bringing with us two millions and a half +in silver, and conveying a chip and a brig laden with clothing and +military stores. + +"The money was transported with sixteen ox teams to the National bank +at Philadelphia, which enabled our army to move to Yorktown to attack +in conjunction with the French army under Rochambeau, the British army +under Cornwallis. + +"As I never had a single cent for these services, I felt myself +entitled, as the country is now in a state of prosperity, to state the +case to congress. + +"As to my political works, beginning with the pamphlet 'Common Sense,' +published the beginning of January 1776, which awakened America to a +declaration of independence as the president and vice-president both +know, as they were works done from principle I can not dishonor that +principle by ever asking any reward for them. The country has been +benefited by them, and I make myself happy in the knowledge of that +benefit. It is, however, proper for me to add that the mere +independence of America, were it to have been followed by a system of +government modeled after the corrupt system of the English government, +would not have interested me with the unabated ardor it did. It was to +bring forward and establish a representative system of government. As +the work itself will show, that was the leading principle with me in +writing that work, and all my other works during the progress of the +revolution, and I followed the same principle in writing in English the +'Rights of Man.' + +"After the failure of the 5 percent duty recommended by congress to pay +the interest of the loan to be borrowed in Holland, I wrote to +Chancellor Livingston, then minister for foreign affairs, and Robert +Morris, minister of finance, and proposed a method for getting over the +difficulty at once, which was by adding a continental legislature which +should be empowered to make laws for the whole union instead of +recommending them. So the method proposed met with their future +probation. I held myself in reserve to take a step up whenever a +direct occasion occurred. + +"In a conversation afterward with Gov. Clinton, of New York, now +vice-president, it was judged that for the purpose of my going fully +into the subject, and to prevent any misconstruction of my motive or +object, it would be best that I received nothing from congress, but to +leave it to the states individually to make the what acknowledgement +they pleased. The State of New York presented me with a farm which +since my return to America, I have found it necessary to sell, and the +State of Pennsylvania voted me L500 of their currency, but none of the +states to the east of New York, or the south of Pennsylvania, have made +me the least acknowledgment. They had received benefits from me which +they accepted, and there the matter ended. This story will not tell +well in history. All the civilized world knows I have been of great +service to the United States, and have generously given away that which +would easily have made me a fortune. I much question if an instance is +to be found in ancient or modern times of a man who had no personal +interest in the case to take up that of the establishment of a +representative government and who sought neither place nor office after +it was established; that pursued the same undeviating principles that I +had for more than thirty years, and that in spite of dangers, +difficulties, and inconveniences of which I have had my share.--Thomas +Paine" + + +An old man in Pennsylvania told me once that his father hired a old +revolutionary soldier by the name of Thomas Martin to work for him. +Martin was then quite an old man; and there was an old Presbyterian +preacher used to come there, by the name of Crawford, and he sat down +by the fire and he got to talking one night, among other things about +Thomas Paine--what a wretched, infamous dog he was; and while he was in +the midst of this conversation the old soldier rose from the fireplace, +and he walked over to the preacher, and he said to him "Did you ever +see Thomas Paine?" "No." "Well," he says, "I have; I saw him at +Valley Forge. I heard read at the head of every regiment and company +the letters of Thomas Paine. I heard them read the 'Crisis,' and I saw +Thomas Paine writing on the head of a drum, sitting at the bivouac +fire, those simple words that inspired every patriot's bosom, and I +want to tell you Mr. Preacher, that Thomas Paine did more for liberty +than any priest that ever lived in this world." + +"And yet they say he was afraid to die! Afraid of what? Is there any +God in heaven that hates a patriot? If there is Thomas Paine ought to +be afraid to die. Is there any God that would damn a man for helping +to free three millions of people? If Thomas Paine was in hell tonight, +and could get God's attention long enough to point him to the old +banner of the stars floating over America, God would have to let him +out. What would he be afraid of? Had he ever burned anybody? No. +Had he ever put anybody in the inquisition? No. Ever put the +thumb-screw on anybody? No. Ever put anybody in prison so that some +poor wife and mother would come and hold her little babe up at the +grated window that the man bound to the floor might get one glimpse of +his blue-eyed babe? Did he ever do that?" + +"Did he ever light a fagot? Did he ever tear human flesh? Why, what +had he to be afraid of? He had helped to make the world free. He had +helped create the only republic then on the earth. What was he afraid +of? Was God a tory? It won't do." + +One would think from the persistence with which the orthodox have +charged for the last seventy years that Thomas Paine recanted, that +there must be some evidence of some kind to support these charges. +Even with my ideas of the average honor of the believers in +superstition, the average truthfulness of the disciples of fear, I did +not believe that all those infamies rested solely upon poorly-attested +falsehoods. I had charity enough to suppose that something had been +said or done by Thomas Paine capable of being tortured into a +foundation of all these calumnies. What crime had Thomas Paine +committed that he should have feared to die? The only answer you can +give is that he denied the inspiration of the scriptures. If that is +crime, the civilized world is filled with criminals. The pioneers of +human thought, the intellectual leaders of this world, the foremost men +in every science, the kings of literature and art, those who stand in +the front of investigation, the men who are civilizing and elevating +and refining mankind, are all unbelievers in the ignorant dogma of +inspiration. + +Why should we think Thomas Paine was afraid to die? and why should the +American people malign the memory of that great man? He was the first +to advocate the separation from the mother country. He was the first +to write these words: "The United States of America." Think of +maligning that man! He was the first to lift his voice against human +slavery, and while hundreds and thousands of ministers all over the +United States not only believed in slavery, but bought and sold women +and babes in the name of Jesus Christ, this infidel, this wretch who is +now burning in the flames of hell, lifted his voice against human +slavery and said: "It is robbery, and a slaveholder is a thief; the +whipper of women is a barbarian; the seller of a child is a savage." +No wonder that the thieving hypocrite of his day hated him! I have no +love for any man who ever pretended to own a human being. I have no +love for a man that would sell a babe from the mother's throbbing, +heaving, agonized breast. I have no respect for a man who considered a +lash on the naked back as a legal tender for labor performed. So write +it down, Thomas Paine was the first great abolitionist of America. + +Now let me tell you another thing. He was the first man to raise his +voice for the abolition of the death penalty in the French convention. +What more did he do? He was the first to suggest a federal +constitution for the United States. He saw that the old articles of +confederation were nothing; that they were ropes of water and chains of +mist, and he said, "We want a federal constitution so that when you +pass a law raising 5 percent you can make the states pay it." Let us +give him his due. What were all these preachers doing at that time? + +He hated superstition; he loved the truth. He hated tyranny; he loved +liberty. He was the friend of the human race. He lived a brave and +thoughtful life. He was a good and true and generous man, and "he died +as he lived." Like a great and peaceful river with green and shaded +banks, without a murmur, without a ripple, he flowed into the waveless +ocean of eternal peace. I love him; I love every man who gave me, or +helped to give me the liberty I enjoy tonight; I love every man who +helped me put our flag in heaven. I love every man who has lifted his +voice in any age for liberty, for a chainless body and a fetterless +brain. I love everyman who has given to every other human being every +right that he claimed for himself. I love every man who has thought +more of principle than he has of position. I love the men who have +trampled crowns beneath their feet that they might do something for +mankind, and for that reason I love Thomas Paine. + +I thank you all, ladies and gentlemen, every one--every one, for the +attention you have given me this evening. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Liberty of Man, Woman and Child + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: In my judgment slavery is the child of +ignorance. Liberty is born of intelligence. Only a few years ago there +was a great awakening in the human mind. Men began to inquire, By what +right does a crowned robber make me work for him? The man who asked +this question was called a traitor. Others said, by what right does a +robed priest rob me? That man was called an infidel. And whenever he +asked a question of that kind, the clergy protested. When they found +that the earth was round, the clergy protested; when they found that +the stars were not made out of the scraps that were left over on the +sixth day of creation, but were really great, shining, wheeling worlds, +the clergy protested and said: "When is this spirit of investigation +to stop?" They said then, and they say now, that it is dangerous for +the mind of man to be free. I deny it. Out on the intellectual sea +there is room for every sail. In the intellectual air, there is space +enough for every wing. And the man who does not do his own thinking is +a slave, and does not do his duty to his fellow men. For one, I expect +to do my own thinking. And I will take my own oath this minute that I +will express what thoughts I have, honestly and sincerely. I am the +slave of no man and of no organization. I stand under the blue sky and +the stars, under the infinite flag of nature, the peer of every human +being. Standing as I do in the presence of the Unknown, I have the +same right to guess as though I had been through five theological +seminary. I have as much interest in the great absorbing questions of +origin and destiny as though I had D.D., L. L. D. at the end of my name. + +All I claim, all I plead is simple liberty of thought. That is all. I +do not pretend to tell what is true and all the truth. I do not claim +that I have floated level with the heights of thought, or that I have +descended to the depths of things; I simply claim that what idea I have +I have a right to express, and any man that denies it to me is an +intellectual thief and robber. That is all. I say, take those chains +off from the human soul; I say, break these orthodox fetters, and if +there are wings to the spirit let them be spread. That is all I say. +And I ask you if I have not the same right to think that any other +human has? If I have no right to think, why have I such a thing as a +thinker. Why have I a brain? And if I have no right to think, who has? +If I have lost my right, Mr. Smith, where did you find yours? If I +have no right, have three or four men or 300 or 400, who get together +and sign a card and build a house and put a steeple on it with a bell +in it--have they any more right to think than they had before? That is +the question. And I am sick of the whip and lash in the region of mind +and intellect. And I say to these men, "Let us alone. Do your own +thinking; express your own thoughts." And I want to say tonight that I +claim no right that I am not willing to give to every other human being +beneath the stars--none whatever. And I will fight tonight for the +right of those who disagree with me to express their thoughts just as +soon as I will fight for my own right to express mine. + +In the good old times, our fathers had an idea that they could make +people believe to suit them. Our ancestors in the ages that are gone +really believed that by force you could convince a man. You cannot +change the conclusion of the brain by force, but I will tell you what +you can do by force, and what you have done by force. You can make +hypocrites by the million. You can make a man say that he has changed +his mind, but he remains of the same opinion still. Put fetters all +over him; crush his feet in iron boots; lash him to the stock; burn him +if you please, but his ashes are of the same opinion still. I say our +fathers, in the good old times--and the best thing I can say about them +is, they are dead--they had an idea they could force men to think their +way, and do you know that idea is still prevalent even in this country? +Do you know they think they can make a man think their way if they say, +"We will not trade with that man; we won't vote for that man; we won't +hire him, if he is a lawyer; we will die before we take his medicine, +if he is a doctor, we won't invite him; we will socially ostracize him; +he must come to our church; he must think our way or he is not a +gentleman." There is much of that even in this blessed country--not +excepting the city of Albany itself. + +Now in the old times of which I have spoken, they said, "We can make +all men think alike." All the mechanical ingenuity of this earth +cannot make two clocks run alike, and how are you going to make +millions of people of different quantities and qualities and amount of +brain, clad in this living robe of passionate flesh--how are you going +to make millions of them think alike? If the infinite God, if there is +one, who made us, wished us to think alike, why did he give a spoonful +of brains to one man, and a bushel to another? Why is it that we have +all degrees of humanity, from the idiot to the genius, if it was +intended that all should think alike? I say our fathers concluded they +would do this by force, and I used to read in books how they persecuted +mankind, and do you know I never appreciated it; I did not. I read it, +but it did not burn itself, as it were, into my very soul what infamies +had been committed in the name of religion, and I never fully +appreciated it until a little while ago I saw the iron arguments our +fathers used to use. I tell you the reason we are through that, is +because we have better brains than our fathers had. Since that day we +have become intellectually developed, and there is more real brain and +real good sense in the world today than in any other period of its +history, and that is the reason we have more liberty, that is the +reason we have more kindness. But I say I saw these iron arguments our +fathers used to use. I saw here the thumb-screw--two little innocent +looking pieces of iron, armed on the inner surface with protuberances +to prevent their slipping--and when some man denied the efficacy of +baptism, or maybe said, "I do not believe that the whale ever swallowed +a man to keep him from drowning," then they put these pieces of iron +upon his thumb, and there was a screw at each end, and then, in the +name of love and forgiveness, they began screwing these pieces of iron +together. A great many men, when they commenced, would say, "I +recant." I expect I would have been one of them. I would have said, +"Now you just stop that; I will admit anything on earth that you want. +I will admit there is one god or a million, one hell or a billion; suit +yourselves, but stop that." But I want to say, the thumbscrew having +got out of the way, I am going to have my say. + +There was now and then some man who wouldn't turn Judas Iscariot to his +own soul; there was now and then a man willing to die for his +conviction, and if it were not for such men we would be savages +tonight. Had it not been for a few brave and heroic souls in every age, +we would have been naked savages this moment, with pictures of wild +beasts tattooed upon our naked breasts, dancing around a dried snake +fetish; and I tonight thank every good and noble man who stood up in +the face of opposition, and hatred, and death for what he believed to +be right. And then they screwed this thumbscrew down as far as they +could and threw him into some dungeon, where, in throbbing misery and +the darkness of night, he dreams of the damned; but that was done in +the name of universal love. + +I saw there at the same time what they called the "collar of torture." +Imagine a circle of iron, and on the inside of that more than a hundred +points as sharp as needles. This being fastened upon the throat, the +sufferer could not sit down, he could not walk, he could not stir +without being punctured by those needles, and in a little while the +throat would begin to swell, and finally suffocation would end the +agonies of that man, when may be the only crime he had committed was to +say, with tears upon his sublime cheeks, "I do not believe that God, +the father of us all, will damn to eternal punishment any of the +children of men." Think of it! And I saw there at the same time +another instrument, called "the scavenger's daughter," which resembles +a pair of shears, with handles where handles ought to be, but at the +points as well. And just above the pivot that fastens the blades, a +circle of iron through which the hands would be placed, into the lower +circles the feet, and into the center circle the head would be pushed, +and in that position he would be thrown prone upon the earth, and kept +there until the strain upon the muscles produced such agony that +insanity and death would end his pain. And that was done in the name +of "Whosoever smiteth thee upon one cheek, turn him the other also." +Think of it! + +And I saw also the rack, with the windlass and chains, upon which the +sufferer was laid. About his ankles were fastened chains, and about +his wrists also, and then priests began turning this windlass, and they +kept turning until the ankles, the shoulders and the wrists were all +dislocated, and the sufferer was wet with the sweat of agony. And they +had standing by a physician to feel his pulse. What for? To save his +life? Yes. What for? In mercy? No. Simply that they might preserve +his life, that they might rack him once again. And this was +done--recollect it--it was done in the name of civilization, it was +done in the name of law and order, it was done in the name of morality, +it was done in the name of religion, it was done in the name of God. + +Sometimes when I get to reading about it, and when I get to thinking +about it, it seems to me that I have suffered all these horrors myself, +as though I had stood upon the shore of exile and gazed with a +tear-filled eye toward home and native land; as though my nails had +been torn from my hands, and into my throat the sharp needles had been +thrust; as though my feet had been crushed in iron boots; as though I +had been chained in the cells of the Inquisition, and had watched and +waited in the interminable darkness to hear the words of release; as +though I had been taken from my fireside, from my wife and children, +and taken to the public square, chained, and fagots had been piled +around me; as though the flames had played around my limbs, and +scorched the sight from my eyes; as though my ashes had been scattered +to the four winds by the hands of hatred; as though I had stood upon +the scaffold and felt the glittering ax fall upon me. And while I feel +and see all this, I swear that while I live I will do what little I can +to augment the liberty of man, woman and child. + +My friends, it is all a question of sense; it is all a question of +honesty. If there is a man in this house who is not willing to give to +everybody else what he claims for himself he is just so much nearer to +the barbarian than I am. It is a simple question of honesty; and the +man who is not willing to give to every other human being the same +intellectual rights he claims himself is a rascal, and you know it. It +is a simple question, I say, of intellectual development and of +honesty. And I want to say it now, so you will see it. You show me the +narrow, contracted man; you show me the man who claims everything for +himself and leaves nothing for others, and that man has got a distorted +and deformed brain. That is the matter with him. He has no sense; not +a bit. Let me show you. + +A little while ago I saw models of everything man has made for his use +and for his convenience. I saw all the models of all the watercraft, +from the dug-out, in which floated a naked savage--one of our +ancestors--a naked savage, with teeth two inches long, with a spoonful +of brains in the back of his head; I saw the watercraft of the world, +from that dug-out up to a man-of-war that carries a hundred guns and +miles of canvas; from that dug-out to the steamship that turns its +brave prow from the port of New York through 3,000 miles of billows, +with a compass like a conscience, that does not miss throb or beat of +its mighty iron heart from one shore to the other. I saw at the same +time the weapons that man has made, from a rude club, such as was +grasped by that savage when he crawled from his den, from his hole in +the ground, and hunted a snake for his dinner--from that club to the +boomerang, to the sword, to the cross-bow, to the blunderbuss, to the +flint-lock, to the cap-lock, to the needle-gun, up to the cannon cast +by Krupp, capable of hurling a ball of 2,000 pounds through eighteen +inches of solid steel. I saw, too, the armor from the turtle-shell +that our ancestor lashed upon his skin when he went out to fight for +his country, to the skin of the porcupine, with the quills all +bristling, which he pulled over his orthodox head to defend himself +from his enemies--I mean, of course, the orthodox head of that day--up +to the shirts of mail that were worn in the middle ages, capable of +resisting the edge of the sword and the point of the spear; up to the +iron-clad, to the monitor completely clad in steel, capable only a few +years ago of defying the navies of the globe. + +I saw at the same time the musical instruments, from the tomtom, which +is a hoop with a couple of strings of rawhide drawn across it--from +that tomtom up to the instruments we have today, which make the common +air blossom with melody. I saw, too, the paintings, from the daub of +yellow mud up to the pieces which adorn the galleries of the world. +And the sculpture, from the rude gods, with six legs and a half dozen +arms, and the rows of ears, up to the sculpture of now, wherein the +marble is clad with such loveliness that it seems almost a sacrilege to +touch it; and in addition I saw there ideas of books--books written +upon skins of wild beasts, books written upon shoulder-blades of sheep; +books written upon leaves, upon bark, up to the splendid volumes that +adorn the libraries of our time. When I think of libraries, I think of +the remark of Plato, "The house that has a library in it has a soul." + +I saw there all these things, and also the implements of agriculture, +from a crooked stick up to the plow which makes it possible for a man +to cultivate the soil without being an ignoramus. I saw at the same +time a row of skulls, from the lowest skull that has ever been found; +skulls from the central portion of Africa, skulls from the bushmen of +Australia, up to the best skulls of the last generation. + +And I notice that there was the same difference between those skulls +that there is between the products of those skulls. And I said to +myself: "It is all a question of intellectual development. It is a +question of brain and sinew." I noticed that there was the same +difference between those skulls that there was between that dug-out, +and that man-of-war and that steamship. That skull was low. It had +not a forehead a quarter of an inch high. But shortly after, the +skulls became doming and crowning, and getting higher and grander. +That skull was a den in which crawled the base and meaner instincts of +mankind, and this skull was a temple in which dwelt joy, liberty and +love. So said I: "This is all a question of brain, and anything that +tends to develop, intellectually, mankind, is the gospel we want." + +Now I want to be honest with you. Honor bright! Nothing like it in +the world! No matter what I believe. Now, let us be honest. Suppose a +king, if there was a king at the time this gentleman floated in the +dugout and charmed his ears with the music of the tomtom; suppose the +king at that time, if there was one, and the priest, if there was one, +had said: "That dug-out is the best boat that ever can be built. The +pattern of that came from on high, and any man who says he can improve +it, by putting a log or a stick in the bottom of it, with a rag on the +end, is an infidel." Honor bright, what, in your judgment, would have +been the effect upon the circumnavigation of the globe? That is the +question. Suppose the king, if there was one, and the priest, if there +was one--and I presume there was, because it was a very ignorant +age--suppose they had said: "That tomtom is the most miraculous +instrument of music that any man can conceive of; that is the kind of +music they have in heaven. An angel, sitting upon the golden edge of a +fleecy cloud, playing upon that tomtom became so enraptured, so +entranced with her own music, that she dropped it, and that is how we +got it--and any man that says that it can be improved by putting a back +and front to it, and four strings and a bridge on it, and getting some +horsehair and resin, is no better than one of the weak and +unregenerate." + +I ask you what effect would that have had upon music? I ask you, honor +bright, if that course had been pursued, would the human ears ever have +been enriched with the divine symphonies of Beethoven? That is the +question. And suppose the king, if there was one, and the priest had +said: "That crooked stick is the best plow we can ever have invented. +The pattern of that plow was given to a pious farmer in a holy dream, +and that twisted straw is the ne plus ultra of all twisted things; and +any man who says he can make an improvement, we will twist him." Honor +bright, what, in your judgment, would have been the effect upon the +agricultural world? + +Now, you see, the people said, "We want better weapons with which to +kill our enemies;" so the people said, "we want better plows;" the +people said, "we want better music;" the people said, "we want better +paintings;" and they said, "whoever will give us better plows, and +better arms, and better paintings, and better music, we will give him +honor; we will crown him with glory; we will robe him in the garments +of wealth;" and every incentive has been held out to every human being +to improve something in every direction. And that is the reason the +club is a cannon; that the reason the dugout is a steamship; that the +reason the daub is a painting, and that is the reason that that piece +of stone has finally become a glorified statue. + +Now, then, this fellow in the dug-out had a religion. That fellow was +orthodox. He had no doubt; he was settled in his mind. He did not +wish to be insulted. He wanted the bark of his soul to lie at the +wharf of orthodoxy, and rot in the sun. He wanted to hear the sails of +old opinions flap against the mast of old creeds. He wanted to see the +joints in the sides open and gape, as though thirsty for water, and he +said: "Now don't disturb my opinions; you'll get my mind unsettled; I +have got it all made up, and I don't want to hear any infidelity, +either." As far as I am concerned, I want to be out on the high sea; I +Want to take my chance with wind and wave and star; and I had rather go +down in the glory and grandeur of the storm than to rot at any orthodox +wharf. Of course I mean by orthodoxy all that don't agree with my +doxy. Do you understand? + +Now this man had a religion. That fellow believed in hell. Yes, sir; +and he thought he would be happier in heaven if he could just lean over +and see certain people that he disliked, broiled. That fellow has had a +great many intellectual descendents. It is an unhappy fact in nature +that the ignorant multiply much faster than the intellectual. This +fellow believed in the devil, and his devil had a cloven hoof. (Many +people think I have the same kind of footing.) He had a long tail, +armed with a fiery dart, and he breathed brimstone. And do you know +there has not been a patentable improvement made on that devil for +4,000 years? That fellow believed that God was a tyrant. That fellow +believed that the earth was flat. That fellow believed, as I told you, +in a literal burning, seething lake of fire and brimstone. That is +what he believed in. That fellow, too, had his idea of politics, and +his idea was, "Might makes right." And it will take thousands of years +before the world will believingly say, "Right makes might." Now all I +ask is the same privilege of improving on that gentleman's theology as +upon his musical instrument; the same right to improve upon his +politics as upon his dug-out. That is all. I ask for the human soul +the same liberty in every direction. And that is all. That is the +only crime that I have committed. That is all. I say, let us have a +chance. Let us think, and let each one express his thoughts. Let us +become investigators, not followers; not cringers and crawlers. If +there is in heaven an infinite being, he never will be satisfied with +the worship of cowards and hypocrites. Honest unbelief will be a +perfume in heaven when hypocrisy, no matter however religious it may be +outwardly, will be a stench. That is my doctrine. That is all there +is to it; give every other human being all the chance you claim for +yourself. To keep your mind open to the voices of nature, to new +ideas, to new thoughts, and to improve upon your doctrine whenever you +can; that is my doctrine. + +Do you know we are improving all the time? Do you know that the most +orthodox people in this town today, three hundred years ago would have +been burned for heresy? Do you know some ministers who denounce me +would have been in the Inquisition themselves two hundred years ago? +Do you know where once burned and blazed the bivouac fires of the army +of progress, the altars of the church glow today? Do you know that the +church today occupies about the same ground that unbelievers did one +hundred years ago? Do you know that while they have followed this army +of progress, protesting and denouncing, they have had to keep within +protesting and denouncing distance, but they have followed it? They +have been the men, let me say, in the valley; the men in swamps, +shouting to and cursing the pioneers on the hills; the men upon whose +forehead was the light of the coming dawn, the coming day--but they +have advanced. In spite of themselves, they have advanced! If they had +not, I would not speak here to night. If they had not, not a solitary +one of you could have expressed your real and honest thought. But we +are advancing, and we are beginning to hold all kinds of slavery in +utter contempt; do you know that? And we are beginning to question +wealth and power; we are questioning all creeds and all dogmas; and we +are not bowing down, as we used to, to a man simply because he is in +the robe of a clergyman, and we are not bowing down to a man now simply +because he is a king. No! We are not bowing down simply because he is +rich. We used to worship the golden calves, but we do not now. The +worst you can say of an American, is, he worships the gold of the calf, +not the calf; and even the calves are beginning to see this distinction. + +It no longer fills the ambition of a man to be emperor or king. The +last Napoleon was not satisfied with being Emperor of the French; he +was not satisfied with having a circlet of gold about his head; he +wanted some evidence that he had something within his head, so he wrote +the life of Julius Caesar, that he might become a member of the French +Academy. Compare, for instance, in the German Empire, King William and +Bismarck. King William is the one anointed of the most high, as they +claim--the one upon whose head has been poured the divine petroleum of +authority. Compare him with Bismarck, who towers, an intellectual +Colossus, above this man. Go into England and compare George Eliot +with Queen Victoria--Queen Victoria, clothed in the garments given to +her by blind fortune and by chance. George Elliot, robed in garments +of glory, woven in the loom of her own genius. Which does the world +pay respect to? I tell you we are advancing! The pulpit does not do +all the thinking; the pews do it; nearly all of it. The world is +advancing, and we question the authority of those men who simply say +"it is so." Down upon your knees and admit it! When I think of how +much this world has suffered, I am amazed. When I think of how long +our fathers were slaves, I am amazed. Why, just think of it! This +world has only been fit for a gentleman to live in fifty years. No, it +has not. It was not until the year 1808 that Great Britain abolished +the slave trade. Up to that time her judge, sitting upon the bench in +the name of justice; her priests, occupying the pulpit in the name of +universal love, owned stock in slave ships and luxuriated in the +profits of piracy and murder. It was not until the year 1808 that the +United States abolished the slave trade between this and other +countries, but preserved it as between the States. It was not until +the 28th day of August, 1833, that Great Britain abolished human +slavery in her colonies; and it was not until the 1st day of January, +1863, that Abraham Lincoln wiped from our flag the stigma of disgrace. +Abraham Lincoln--in my judgment, the grandest man ever president of the +United States, and upon whose monument these words could truthfully be +written: "Here lies the only man in the history of the world who, +having been clothed with almost absolute power, never abused it except +on the side of mercy." + +Think, I say, how long we clung to the institution of human slavery; +how long lashes upon the naked back were the legal tender for labor +performed! Think of it! when the pulpit of this country deliberately +and willfully changed the Cross of Christ into the whipping-post. +Think of it! And tell me then if I am right when I say this world has +only been fit for a gentleman to live in fifty years. I hate with +every drop of my blood every form of tyranny. I hate every form of +slavery. I hate dictation--I want something like liberty; and what do +I mean by that? The right to do anything that does not interfere with +the happiness of another, physically. Liberty of thought includes the +right to think right and the right to think wrong. Why? Because that +is the means by which we arrive at truth; for if we knew the truth +before, we needn't think. Those men who mistake their ignorance for +facts, never do think. You may say to me, "How far is it across this +room?" I say 100 feet. Suppose it is 105; have I committed any crime? +I made the best guess I could. You ask me about any thing; I examine it +honestly, and when I get through, what should I tell you--what I think +or what you think? What should I do? + +There is a book put in my hands. They say "That is the Koran; that was +written by inspiration; read it." I read it. Chapter VII, entitled +"The Cow," chapter IX, entitled "The Bee," and so on. I read it. When +I get through with it, suppose I think in my heart and in my brain, "I +don't believe a word of it;" and you ask me, "What do you think of +it?" Now, admitting that I live in Turkey, and have a chance to get an +office, what should I say? Now, honor bright, should I just make a +clean breast of it and say "Upon my honor, I don't believe it?" Then +is it right for you to say "That fellow will steal--that fellow is a +dangerous man--he is a robber?" Now, suppose I read the book called +the bible (and I read it, honor bright), and when I get through with it +I make up my mind that book was written by men; and along comes the +preacher of my church, and he says "Did you read that book?" "I did." +"Do you think it is divinely inspired?" I say to myself, "Now if I say +it is not, they will never send me to Congress from this district on +earth." Now, honor bright, what ought I to do? Ought I to say, "I +have read it. I have been honest about it; don't believe it?" Now, +ought I to say that, if that is a real transcript of my mind, or ought +I to commence hemming and hawing and pretend that I do believe it, and +go away with the respect of that man, hating myself for a cringing +coward? Now which? For my part I would rather a man would tell me what +he honestly thinks, and he will preserve his manhood. I had rather be +a manly unbeliever than an unmanly believer. I think I will stand +higher at the judgment day, if there is one, and stand with as good a +chance to get my case dismissed without costs as a man who sneaks +through life pretending he believes what he does not. I tell you one +thing; there is going to be one free fellow in this world. I am going +to say my say, I tell you. I am going to do it kindly, I am going to +do it distinctly, but I am going to do it. + +Now, if men have been slaves, what about women? Women have been the +slaves of slaves; and that's a pretty hard position to occupy for life. +They have been the slaves of slaves; and in my judgment it took +millions of ages for women to come from the condition of abject slavery +up to the institution of marriage. Let me say right here, tonight, I +regard marriage as the holiest institution among men. Without the +fireside there is no human advancement; without the family relation, +there is no life worth living. Every good government is made up of +good families. The unit of government is family, and anything that +tends to destroy the family is perfectly devilish and infamous. I +believe in marriage, and I hold in utter contempt the opinions of +long-haired men and short-haired women who denounce the institution of +marriage. Let me say right here--and I have thought a good deal about +it--let me say right here, the grandest ambition that any man can +possibly have is to so live and so improve himself in heart and brain +as to be worthy of the love of some splendid woman; and the grandest +ambition of any girl is to make herself worthy of the love and +adoration of some magnificent man. That is my idea, and there is no +success in life without it. If you are the grand emperor of the world, +you had better be the grand emperor of one loving and tender heart, and +she the grand empress of yours. The man who has really won the love of +one good woman in this world, I do not care if he dies in the ditch a +beggar, his life has been a success. + +I say it took millions of years to come from the condition of abject +slavery up to the condition of marriage. Ladies, the ornaments you +bear upon your person tonight are but the souvenirs of your mothers' +bondage. The chains around your necks and the bracelets clasped upon +your wrists by the thrilling hand of love, have been changed by the +wand of civilization from iron to shining, glittering gold. But nearly +every religion has accounted for the devilment in this world by the +crime of woman. What a gallant thing that is! And if it is true, I had +rather live with the woman I love in a world full of trouble, than to +live in heaven with nobody but men. + +I say that nearly every religion has accounted for all the trouble in +this world by the crime of woman. I read in a book--and I will say now +that I cannot give the exact language; my memory does not retain the +words--but I can give the substance. I read in a book that the supreme +being concluded to make a world and one man; that he took some nothing +and made a world and one man, and put this man in a garden: but he +noticed that he got lonesome; he wandered around as if he was waiting +for a train; there was nothing to interest him; no news; no papers; no +politics; no policy; and as the devil had not yet made his appearance, +there was no chance for reconciliation; not even for civil service +reform. Well, he would wander about this garden in this condition +until finally the supreme being made up his mind to make him a +companion; and having used up all the nothing he originally took in +making the world and one man, he had to take a part of the man to start +a woman with, and so he caused a deep sleep to fall upon this man--now, +understand me. I didn't say this story is true. After the sleep fell +upon this man, he took a rib, or, as the French would call it, a cutlet +out of this man, and from that he made a woman; and considering the raw +material, I look upon it as the most successful job ever performed. +Well, after He got the woman done, she was brought to the man; not to +see how she liked him, but to see how he liked her. He liked her, and +they started housekeeping; and they were told of certain things they +might do, and one thing they could not do--and of course they did it. +I would have done it in fifteen minutes, and I know it. There wouldn't +have been an apple on that tree half an hour from date, and the limbs +could have been full of clubs. And then they were turned out of the +park, and an extra force was put on to keep them from getting back. +Then devilment commenced. The mumps, and the measles, and the whooping +cough and the scarlet fever started in their race for man, and they +began to have the toothache, the roses began to have thorns, and snakes +began to have poisoned teeth, and people began to divide about religion +and politics; and the world has been full of trouble from that day to +this. Now, nearly all of the religions of this world account for the +existence of evil by such a story as that. + +I read in another book what appeared to be an account of the same +transaction. It was written about 4,000 years before the other; but +all commentators agree that the one that was written last was the +original, and that the one that was written first was copied from the +one that was written last; but I would advise you all not to allow your +creed to be disturbed by a little matter of four or five thousand +years. In this other story the Supreme Brahma made up his mind to make +the world and man and woman; and he made the world, and he made the man +and he made the woman, and he put them on the island of Ceylon; and +according to the account, it was the most beautiful island of which man +can conceive. Such birds, such songs, such flowers and such verdure! +And the branches of the trees were so arranged that when the wind swept +through them every tree was a thousand aeolian harps. The Supreme +Brahma when he put them there said, "Let them have a period of +courtship, for it is my desire and will that true love should forever +precede marriage." When I read that, it was so much more beautiful and +lofty than the other, that I said to myself, "If either one of these +stories ever turns out to be true, I hope it will be this one." + +Then they had their courtship, with the nightingales singing and the +stars shining and the flowers blooming, and they fell in love. Imagine +the courtship! No prospective fathers or mothers in law; no prying and +gossiping neighbors, nobody to say, "Young man, how do you expect to +support her?" Nothing of that kind. They were married by the Supreme +Brahma, and he said to them: "Remain here; you must never leave this +island." Well, after a little while the man--and his name was Amend, +and the woman's name was Heva--and the man said to Heva: "I believe +I'll look about a little;" and he went to the northern extremity of +the island, where there was a little, narrow neck of land connecting it +with the mainland; and the devil, who is always playing pranks with us, +got up a mirage, and when he looked over to the mainland, such hills +and dells, vales and dales; such mountains, crowned with silver; such +cataracts, clad in robes of beauty, did he see there, that he went back +and told Heva: "The country over there is a thousand times better than +this; let us migrate." She, like every other woman that ever lived, +said: "Let well enough alone; we have all we want; let us stay here." +But he said, "No, let us go;" so she followed him, and when they came +to this narrow neck of land he took her on his back like a gentleman +and carried her over. But the moment they got over they heard a crash, +and, looking back, discovered that this narrow neck of land had fallen +into the sea, with the exception of now and then a rock, and the mirage +had disappeared and there was naught but rocks and sand; and then a +voice called out, cursing them. Then it was that the man spoke up--and +I have liked him ever since for it--"Curse me, but curse not her; it +was not her fault, it was mine." That's the kind of man to start a +world with. The Supreme Brahma said, "I will save her but not thee." +She spoke up out of her feelings of love, out of a heart in which there +was love enough to make all of her daughters rich in holy affection, +and said, "If thou wilt not spare him, spare neither me; I do not wish +to live without him; I love him." Then the Supreme Brahma said--and I +have liked him first-rate ever since I read it--"I will spare you both +and watch over you." + +Honor bright, isn't that the better story? + +And from that same book I want to show you what ideas some of these +miserable heathen had--the heathen we are trying to convert. We send +missionaries over yonder to convert heathen there, and we send soldiers +out on the plains to kill heathen there. If we can convert the +heathen, why not convert those nearest home? Why not convert those we +can get at? Why not convert those who have the immense advantage of +the example of the average pioneer? But to show you the men we are +trying to convert--in this book it says: "Man is strength, woman is +beauty; man is courage, woman is love. When the one man loves the one +woman and the one woman loves the one man, the very angels leave heaven +and come and sit in that house and sing for joy." They are the men we +are converting. Think of it! I tell you when I read these things I +begin to say, "Love is not of any country; nobility does not belong +exclusively here;" and through all the ages there have been a few +great and tender souls lifted far above their fellows. + +Now, my friends, it seems to me that the woman is the equal of the man. +She has all the rights I have, and one more, and that is the right to +be protected. That's my doctrine. You are married; try and make the +woman you love happy; try and make the man you love happy. Whoever +marries simply for himself will make a mistake; but whoever loves a +woman so well that he says "I will make her happy," makes no mistake; +and so with the woman who says "I will make him happy." There is only +one way to be happy, and that is to make somebody else so, and you +can't be happy cross-lots; you have got to go the regular turnpike road. + +If there is any man I detest, it is the man who thinks he is the head +of the family--the man who thinks he is "boss". That fellow in the +dug-out used that word "boss;" that was one of his favorite +expressions--that he was "boss". Imagine a young man and a young woman +courting, walking out in the moonlight, and the nightingale singing a +song of pain and love, as though the thorn touched her heart--imagine +them stopping there in the moonlight and starlight and song, and saying +"Now here, let's settle who's boss!" I tell you it is an infamous +word, and an infamous feeling--a man who is "boss," who is going to +govern his family, and when he speaks let all the rest of them be +still--some mighty idea is about to be launched from his mouth. Do you +know I dislike this man unspeakably; and a cross man I hate above all +things. + +What right has he to murder the sunshine of the day? What right has he +to assassinate the joy of life? Where you go home you ought to feel +the light there is in the house; if it is in the night it will burst +out of doors and windows and illuminate the darkness. It is just as +well to go home a ray of sunshine as an old sour, cross curmudgeon, who +thinks he is the head of the family. Wise men think their mighty +brains have been in a turmoil; they have been thinking about who will +be alderman from the fifth ward; they have been thinking about +politics; great and mighty questions have been engaging their minds; +they have bought calico at 8 cents, or 6, and want to sell it for 7. +Think of the intellectual strain that must have been upon a man, and +when he gets home everybody else in the house must look out for his +comfort. A woman who has only taken care of five or six children, and +one or two of them may be sick; has been nursing them and singing to +them, and taking care of them, and trying to make one yard of cloth do +the work of two--she, of course, is fresh and fine, and ready to wait +upon this great gentleman--the head of the family I don't like him a +bit! + +Do you know another thing? I despise a stingy man. I don't see how it +is possible for a man to die worth fifty millions of dollars, or ten +millions of dollars, in a city full of want, when he meets almost every +day the withered hand of beggary and the white lips of famine. How a +man can withstand all that, and hold in the clutch of his greed twenty +or thirty millions of dollars, is past my comprehension. I do not see +how he can do it. I should not think he could do it any more than he +could keep a pile of lumber where hundreds and thousands of men were +drowning in the sea. I should not think he could do it. + +Do you know I have known men who would trust their wives with their +hearts and their honor, but not with their pocketbook; not with a +dollar. When I see a man of that kind I always think he knows which of +these articles is the most valuable. Think of making your wife a +beggar! Think of her having to ask you every day for a dollar, or for +two dollars, or for fifty cents! "What did you do with that dollar I +gave you last week?" Think of having a wife that was afraid of you! +What kind of children do you expect to have with a beggar and a coward +for their mother? Oh, I tell you, if you have but a dollar in the +world, and you have got to spend it, spend it like a king; spend it as +though it were a dry leaf and you the owner of unbounded forests! +That's the way to spend it! I had rather be a beggar and spend my last +dollar like a king, than be a king and spend my money like a beggar. +If it's got to go, let it go. + +Get the best you can for your family--try to look as well as you can +yourself. When you used to go courting, how nice you looked! Ah, your +eye was bright, your step was light, and you just put on the very best +look you could. Do you know that it is insufferable egotism in you to +suppose that a woman is going to love you always looking as bad as you +can? Think of it! Any woman on earth will be true to you forever when +you do your level best. Some people tell me, "Your doctrine about +loving, and wives, and all that is splendid for the rich, but it won't +do for the poor." I tell you tonight there is on the average more love +in the homes of the poor than in the palaces of the rich; and the +meanest but with love in it is fit for the gods, and a palace without +love is a den only fit for wild beasts. That's my doctrine! + +You can't be so poor but that you can help somebody. Good nature is +the cheapest commodity in the world; and love is the only thing that +will pay 10 percent to borrower and lender both. Don't tell me that you +have got to be rich! We have all a false standard of greatness in the +United States. We think here that a man to be great, must be +notorious; must be extremely wealthy, or his name must be between the +lips of rumor. It is all nonsense! It is not necessary to be rich to +be great, or to be powerful to be happy; and the happy man is the +successful man. Happiness is the legal tender of the soul. Joy is +wealth. + +A little while ago I stood by the grave of the old Napoleon, a +magnificent tomb, fit for a dead deity almost, and gazed into the great +circle at the bottom of it. In the sarcophagus, of black Egyptian +marble, at last rest the ashes of that restless man. I looked over the +balustrade, and I thought about the career of Napoleon. I could see +him walking upon the banks of the Seine contemplating suicide. I saw +him at Toulon. I saw him putting down the mob in the streets of Paris. +I saw him at the head of the army of Italy. I saw him crossing the +bridge at Lodi. I saw him in Egypt, fighting the battle of the +pyramids. I saw him cross the Alps, and mingle the eagles of France +with the eagles of the crags. I saw him at Austerlitz. I saw him with +his army scattered and dispersed before the blast. I saw him at +Leipsic when his army was defeated and he was taken captive. I saw him +escape. I saw him land again upon French soil, and retake an empire by +the force of his own genius. I saw him captured once more, and again +at St. Helena, with his arms behind him, gazing out upon the sad and +solemn sea; and I thought of the orphans and Widows he had made. + +I thought of the tears that had been shed for his glory. I thought of +the only woman who ever loved him, who had been pushed from his heart +by the cold hand of ambition; and as I looked at the sarcophagus, I +said, "I would rather have been a French peasant and worn wooden shoes; +I would rather have lived in a hut, with a vine growing over the door, +and the grapes growing and ripening in the autumn sun; I would rather +have been that peasant, with my wife by my side and my children upon my +knees, twining their arms of affection about me; I would rather have +been that poor French peasant, and gone down at last to the eternal +promiscuity of the dust, followed by those who loved me; I would a +thousand times rather have been that French peasant than that imperial +personative of force and murder." And so I would, ten thousand times. + +It is not necessary to be great to be happy; it is not necessary to be +rich to be just and generous, and to have a heart filled with divine +affection. No matter whether you are rich or poor, use your wife as +though she were a splendid creation, and she will fill your life with +perfume and joy. And do you know, it is a splendid thing for me to +think that the woman you really love will never grow old to you? +Through the wrinkles of time, through the music of years, if you really +love her, you will always see the face you loved and won. And a woman +who really loves a man, does not see that he grows older; he is not +decrepit; he does not tremble; he is not old; she always sees the same +gallant gentleman who won her hand and heart. I like to think of it in +that way. I like to think of all passions; love is eternal, and, as +Shakespeare says, "Although Time, with his sickle, can rob ruby lips +and sparkling eyes, let him reach as far as he can, he cannot quite +touch love; that reaches even to the end of the tomb." And to love in +that way, and then go down the hill of life together, and as you go +down hear, perhaps, the laughter of grandchildren--the birds of joy and +love sing once more in the leafless branches of age. I believe in the +fireside. I believe in the democracy of home. I believe in the +republicanism of the family. I believe in liberty and equality with +those we love. + +If women have been slaves, what shall I say of children; of the little +children in the alleys and sub-cellars; the little children who turn +pale when they hear their father's footsteps; little children who run +away when they only hear their names called by the lips of another; +little children--the children of poverty, the children of crime, the +children of brutality wherever you are--flotsam and jetsam upon the +wild, mad sea of life, my heart goes out to you, one and all. I tell +you the children have the same rights that we have, and we ought to +treat them as though they were human beings; and they should be reared +by love, by kindness, by tenderness, and not by brutality. That is my +idea of children. When your little child tells a lie, don't rush at +him as though the world were about to go into bankruptcy. Be honest +with him. A tyrant father will have liars for children; do you know +that? A lie is born of tyranny upon the one hand and weakness upon the +other, and when you rush at a poor little boy with a club in your hand, +of course he lies. I thank Mother Nature that she has put ingenuity +enough in the breast of a child, when attacked by a brutal parent, to +throw up a little breastwork in the shape of a lie. When one of your +children tells a lie, be honest with him; tell him you have told +hundreds of them yourself. Tell him it is not the best way; you have +tried it. Tell him, as the man did in Maine when his boy left home: +"John, honesty is the best policy; I have tried both." Just be honest +with him. Imagine now; you are about to whip a child five years of +age. What is the child to do? Suppose a man, as much larger than you +are larger than a child five years old, should come at you with +liberty-pole in hand, and in a voice of thunder shout, "Who broke the +plate?" There is not a solitary one of you who wouldn't swear you +never saw it, or that it was cracked when you found it. Why not be +honest with these children? Just imagine a man who deals in stocks +putting false rumors afloat! + +Think of a lawyer beating his own flesh and blood for evading the +truth, when he makes half of his own living that way! Think of a +minister punishing his child for not telling all he thinks! Just think +of it! When your child commits a wrong, take it in your arms; let it +feel your heart beat against its heart; let the child know that you +really and truly and sincerely love it. Yet some Christians, good +Christians, when a child commits a fault, drive it from the door, and +say, "Never do you darken this house again." Think of that! And then +these same people will get down on their knees and ask God to take care +of the child they have driven from home. I will never ask God to take +care of my children unless I am doing my level best in that same +direction. But I will tell you what I say to my children: "Go where +you will; commit what crime you may; fall to what depth of degradation +you may; you can never commit any crime that will shut my door, my +arms, my heart to you; as long as I live you shall have no more sincere +friend." + +Do you know, I have seen some people who acted as though they thought +when the Savior said, "Suffer little children to come unto me, for such +is the Kingdom of Heaven," that he had a rawhide under his mantle and +made that remark to get the children within striking distance. I don't +believe in the government of the lash. If any one of you ever expect +to whip your children again after you hear me, I want you to have a +photograph taken of yourself when you are in the act, with your face +red with vulgar anger; and then the face of the little child, with eyes +swimming in tears, and the little chin dimpled with fear, like a piece +of water struck by a sudden, cold wind. Have the picture taken. If +that little child should die, I cannot find a sweeter way to spend an +autumn afternoon than to go out to the cemetery, when the maples are +clad in bright colors, and little scarlet runners are coming, like +poems of regret, from the sad heart of the earth--than to go out to the +cemetery and sit down upon the grave and look at this photograph, and +think of the flesh, now dust, that you beat. + +I tell you it is wrong; it is no way to raise children! Make your home +happy. Be honest with them, divide fairly with them in everything. +Give them a little liberty, and you cannot drive them out of the house. +They will want to stay there. Make home pleasant. Let them play any +game they want to. Don't be so foolish as to say: "You may roll balls +on the ground, but you must not roll them on green cloth. You may +knock them with a mallet, but you must not push them with a cue. You +may play with little pieces of paper which have 'Authors' written on +them, but you must not have 'keerds.'" Think of it! "You may go to a +minstrel show, where people blacken themselves up and degrade +themselves, and imitate humanity below themselves, but you must not go +to the theater and see the characters of immortal genius put upon the +stage." Why? Well, I can't think of any reason in the world except +"minstrel" is a word of two syllables and theater has three. Let +children have some daylight at home if you want to keep them there, and +don't commence at the cradle and yell, "Don't!" "Don't!" "Stop!" +That is nearly all that is said to a young one from the cradle until he +is twenty one years old, and when he comes of age other people begin +saying "Don't!" And the church says "Don't!" And the party that he +belongs to says "Don't!" I despise that way of going through this +world. Let us have a little liberty--just a little bit. There is +another thing. In old times, you know, they thought some days were too +good for a child to enjoy himself in. When I was a boy Sunday was +considered altogether too good to be happy in; and Sunday used to +commence then when the sun went down Saturday night. That was to get +good ready--a kind of running jump; and when the sun went down, a +darkness ten thousand times deeper than that of night fell on that +house. Nobody said a word then; nobody laughed; and the child that +looked the sickest was regarded the most pious. You couldn't crack +hickory nuts; you couldn't chew gum; and if you laughed, it was only +another evidence of the total depravity of man. That was a solemn +night; and the next morning everybody looked sad, mournful, +dyspeptic--and thousands of people think they have religion when they +have only got dyspepsia--thousands! But there is nothing in this world +that would break up the old orthodox churches as quick as some specific +for dyspepsia--some sure cure. + +Then we went to church, and the minister was up in a pulpit about +twenty feet high, with a little sounding-board over him, and he +commenced with Firstly and went on to about twenty-thirdly, and then +around by way of application, and then divided it off again once or +twice, and after having put in about two hours, he got to Revelations. +We were not allowed to have any fire, even if it was in the winter. It +was thought to be outrageous to be comfortable while you are thanking +the Lord, and the first church that ever had a stove put in it in New +England was broken up on that account. Then we went a-nooning, and +then came the catechism, the chief end of man. We went through that; +and then this same sermon was preached, commencing at the other end, +and going back. After that was over we started for home, solemn and +sad--"not a soldier discharged his farewell shot;" not a word was +said--and when we got home, if we had been good boys, they would take +us up to the graveyard to cheer us up a little. + +It did cheer me! When I looked at those tombs the comforting +reflection came to my mind that this kind of thing couldn't last +always. Then we had some certain books that we read just by way of +cheerfulness. There was Milner's "History of the Wilderness," Baxter's +"Call to the Unconverted," and Jenkins' "On the Atonement." I used to +read Jenkins' "On the Atonement;" and I have often thought the +atonement would have to be very broad in its provisions to cover the +case of a man who would write a book like that for a boy to read. +Well, you know, the Sunday had to go at last; and the moment the sun +went down Sunday night we were free. About 4 or 5 o'clock we would go +to see how the sun was coming out. Sometimes it seemed to me that it +was just stopping from pure cussedness; but finally it had to go down, +and when the last rim of light sank below the horizon, out would come +our traps, and we would give three cheers for liberty once more. In +those times it was thought wrong for a child to laugh on Sunday. Think +of that! A little child--a little boy--could go out in the garden, and +there would be a tree laden with blossoms, and this little fellow would +lean up against the tree, and there would be a bird singing and +swinging, and thinking about four little speckled eggs, warmed by the +breast of its mate--singing and swinging, and the music coming rippling +out of its throat, and the flowers blossoming and the air full of +perfume, and the great white clouds floating in the sky; and that +little boy would lean up against that trunk, and think of hell. + +That's true! I have heard them preach when I sat in the pew, and my +feet didn't come within eighteen inches of the floor, about that hell. +And they said, "Suppose that once in a million years a bird would come +from some far distant planet, and carry in its bill a grain of sand, +the time would finally come when the last atom composing this earth +would be carried away;" and the old preacher said, in order to impress +upon the boys the length of time they would have to stay, "it wouldn't +be sun-up in hell yet." + +Think of that to preach to children! I tell you, my friends, no day +can be so sacred but that the laugh of a little child will make it +holier still--no day! And yet, at that time, the minds of children +were polluted by this infamous doctrine of eternal punishment; and I +denounce it today as an infamous doctrine beyond the power of language +to express. Where did that doctrine of eternal punishment for the +children of men come from? It came from that wretch in the dug-out. +Where did he get it? It was a souvenir from the animals, and the +doctrine of eternal punishment was born in the eyes of snakes when they +hung in fearful coils watching for their prey. It was a doctrine born +of the howling and barking and growling of wild beasts; it was born in +the grin of the hyenas, and of the depraved chatter of the baboons; and +I despise it with every drop of my blood. Tell me there is a God in +the serene heaven that will damn his children for the expression of an +honest belief! + +There have been more men who died in their sins, according to your +orthodox religion, than there are leaves on all the forests of this +world ten thousand times over. Tell me they are in hell! Tell me they +are to be punished for ever and ever! I denounce it as an infamous lie! + +And when the great ship containing the hope and aspiration of the +world, when the great ship freighted with mankind goes down in the +night of death and disaster, I will go down with the ship. I don't +want to paddle off in any orthodox canoe. I will go down with the +ship; and if there is a God who will damn his children forever I had +rather go to hell than to go to heaven and keep the society of such an +infamous Deity. I make my choice now. I despise that doctrine, and +I'll tell you why. It has covered the cheeks of this world with tears. +It has polluted the heart of children. It has been a pain and terror +to every man that ever believed it. It has filled the good with horror +and fear, but it has had no effect upon the infamous and base. I tell +you it is a bad doctrine. I read in the papers today what Henry Ward +Beecher, whom I regard as the most intellectual preacher in the pulpit +of the United States--I will read from the paper what he said +yesterday, and you will see an abstract of it in the New York Times of +today. He has had the courage, and he has had the magnificent manhood, +to say: + +"I say to you, and I swear to you, by the wounds in the hands of +Christ--I swear to you by the wounds in the body and feet of Christ, +that this doctrine of eternal hell is a most infamous nightmare of +theology! It never should be preached again." + +What right have you, sir; you, minister, as you are, to stand at the +portal of eternity, or the portal of the tomb, and fill the future with +horror and with fear? You have no right to do it. I don't believe it, +and neither do you. You would not sleep one night. Any man who +believes it, who has got a decent heart in his bosom, will go insane. +Yes, sir, a man that really believes that doctrine and does not go +insane, has got the conscience of a snake and the intellect of a hyena. +O! I thank my stars that you do not believe it. You cannot believe it, +and you never will believe it. Old Jonathan Edwards, the dear old +soul, he is in heaven I suppose, said: "Can the believing husband in +heaven be happy with his unbelieving wife in hell? Can the believing +father in heaven be happy with his unbelieving children in hell? Can +the loving wife in heaven be happy with her unbelieving husband in +hell? I tell you yea. Such will be their sense of justice that it +will increase rather than diminish their happiness." + +Think of these infamous doctrines that have been taught in the name of +religion! Do not stuff these things into the minds of your children. +Give them a chance. Let them read. Let them think. Do not treat your +children like posts, to be set in the orthodox road, but like trees, +that need light and sun and air. Be honest with them. Be fair with +them. In old times they used to make all children go to bed when they +were not sleepy, and all of them got up when they were sleepy. I say +let them go to bed--when they are sleepy and get up when they are not. +But they say that will do for the rich, but not for the poor. Well, if +the poor have to wake their children early in the morning, it is as +easy to wake them with a kiss as with a club. I believe in letting +children commence at which end of the dinner they want to. + +Let them eat what they want. It is their business. They know what +they want to eat. And if they have had their liberty from the first, +they can beat any doctor in the world. All the improvement that has +ever been made in medicine has been made by the recklessness of +patients. Yes, sir. Thousands and thousands of years the doctors +wouldn't let a man have water in fever. Every now and then some fellow +got reckless and said: "I will die, I am so thirsty," and drank two or +three quarts of water and got well. And they kept that up until +finally the doctors said, "that is the best thing for a fever you can +do." + +I have more confidence to agree with nature about these things than any +of the conclusions of the schools. Just let your children have +freedom, and they will fall right into your ways and do just as you do. +But you try to make them, and there is some magnificent, splendid thing +in the human heart that will not be driven. And do you know it is the +luckiest thing for this world that ever happened that people are so. +What would we have been if the people in any age of the world had done +just as the doctors told them? They would have been all dead. What +would we have done if, at any age of the world, we had followed +implicitly the direction of the church? We would have been all idiots, +every one. + +It is a splendid thing that there is always some fellow who won't mind, +and will think for himself. And I believe in letting children think +for themselves. I believe in having a family like a democracy. If +there is anything splendid in this world it is a home of that kind. +They used to tell us, "Let your victuals close your mouth." We used to +eat as though it was a religious performance. I like to see the +children about, and every one telling what he has seen and heard. I +like to hear the clatter of the knives and spoons mingling with the +laughter of their voices. I had rather hear it than any opera that has +ever been put upon the boards. Let them have liberty; let them have +freedom, and I tell you your children will love you to death. + +Now, I have some excuses to offer for the race to which I belong. I +have two. My first excuse is that this is not a very good world to +raise folks in anyway. It is not very well adapted to raising +magnificent people. There's only a quarter of it land to start with. +It is three times better fitted for raising fish than folks, and in +that one quarter of land there is not a tenth part fit to raise people +on. You can't raise people without a good climate. You have got to +have the right kind of climate, and you have got to have certain +elements in the soil, or you can't raise good people. Do you know that +there is only a little zig-zag strip around the world within which have +been produced all men of genius? + +The southern hemisphere has never produced a man of genius, never; and +never will until civilization, fighting the heat that way and the cold +this, widens this portion of the earth until it is capable of producing +great men and great women. It is the same with men that it is with +vegetation; you go into a garden, and find there flowers growing. And +as you go up the mountain, the birch and the hemlock and the spruce are +to be found. And as you go toward the top, you find little, stunted +trees getting a miserable subsistence out of the crevices of the rocks, +and you go on up and up and up, until finally you find at the top +little moss-like freckles. You might as well try to raise flowers +where those freckles grow as to raise great men and women where you +haven't got the soil. + +I don't believe man ever came to any high station without woman. There +has got to be some restraint, something to make you prudent, something +to make you industrious. And in a country where you don't need any bed +quilt but a cloud, revolution is the normal condition of the people. +You have got to have the fireside; you have got to have the home, and +there by the fireside will grow and bloom the fruits of the human race. +I recollect a while ago I was in Washington when they were trying to +annex Santo Domingo. They said: "We want to take in Santo Domingo." +Said I: "We don't want it." "Why," said they, "it is the best +climate the earth can produce. There is everything you want." "Yes," +said I, "but it won't produce men. We don't want it. We have got soil +enough now. Take 5,000 ministers from New England, 5,000 presidents of +colleges, and 5,000 solid business men, and their families, and take +them to Santo Domingo; and then you will see the effect of climate. The +second generation, you will see barefooted boys riding bareback on a +mule, with their hair sticking out of the top of their sombreros, with +a rooster under each arm, going to a cock-fight on Sunday." + +You have got to have the soil; you have got to have the climate, and +you have got to have another thing--you have got to have the fireside. +That is one excuse I have for us. + +The next excuse is that I think we came up from the lower animals. +Else how can you account for all this snake and hyena and jackal in +man? Now, when I first heard that doctrine, I didn't like it. I felt +sorry for people who had nothing but ancestors to be proud of. It +touched my heart to think that they would have to go back to the Duke +Orangutan or the Duchess Chimpanzee. I was sorry, and I hated to +believe it. I don't know that it is the truth now. I am not satisfied +upon that question; I stand about eight to seven. I thought it over. +I read about it. I read about these rudimentary bones and muscles. I +didn't like that. I read that everybody had rudimentary muscles coming +from the ear right down here (indicating); that the most intellectual +people in the world have got them. I say, "What are they?" +"Rudimentary muscles." "What kind of muscles?" "Muscles that your +ancestors used to have fully developed." "What for?" "To flap their +ears with." + +Well, whether we ever had them or not, I know of lots of men who ought +to have them yet. And finally I said, "Well, I guess we came up from +the lower animals." I thought it all over; the best I could, and I +said, "I guess we did." And after a while I began to like it, and I +like it better now than I did before. + +Do you know that I would rather belong to a race that started with +skull-less vertebrae in the dim Laurentian seas, wiggling without +knowing why they wiggled, swimming without knowing where they were +going; but kept developing and getting a little further up and a little +further up, all through the animal world, and finally striking this +chap in the dug-out. A getting a little bigger, and this fellow +calling that fellow a heretic, and that fellow calling the other an +infidel, and so on. For in the history of the world, the man who has +been ahead has always been called a heretic. Recollect this! I would +rather come from a race that started from that skull-less vertebrae, +and came up and up and up, and finally produced Shakespeare, who found +the human intellect wallowing in a hut, and touched it with a wand of +his genius, and it became a palace--dome and pinnacle. I would rather +belong to a race that commenced then, and produced Shakespeare, with +the eternal hope of an infinite future for the children of progress +leading from the far horizon, beckoning men forward--forward and onward +forever. I had rather belong to this race, and commence there, with +that hope, than to have sprung from a perfect pair on which the Lord +has lost money every day since. + +These are the excuses I have for my race. + +Now, my friends, let me say another thing. I do not pretend to have +floated even with the heights of thought; I do not pretend to have +fathomed the abyss. All I pretend is to give simply my honest thought. +Every creed that we have today has upon it the mark of whip and chain +and fagot. I do not want it. Free labor will give us wealth, and has +given us wealth, and why? Because a free brain goes into partnership +with a free hand. That is why. And when a man works for his wife and +children, the problem of liberty is, how to do the most work in the +shortest space of time; but the problem of slavery is, how to do the +least work in the longest space of time. Slavery is poverty; liberty +is wealth. + +It is the same in thought. Free thought will give us truth; and the +man who is not in favor of free thought occupies the same relation to +those he can govern that the slaveholder occupied to his slaves, +exactly. Free thought will give us wealth. There has not been a +generation of free thought yet. + +It will be time to write a creed when there have been a few generations +of free-brained men and splendid women in this world. I don't know what +the future may bring forth; I don't know what inventions are in the +brain of the future; I don't know what garments may be woven, with the +years to come; but I do know, coming from the infinite sea of the +future, there will never touch this "bank and shoal of time" a greater +blessing, a grander glory, than liberty for man, woman and child. + +Oh, liberty! Float not forever in the far horizon! Remain not forever +in the dream of the enthusiast and the poet and the philanthropist! +But come and take up thine abode with the children of men forever! + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on "Orthodoxy" + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: It is utterly inconceivable that any man +believing in the truth of the Christian religion could publicly deny +it, because he who believes in that religion would believe that, by a +public denial, he would peril the eternal salvation of his soul. It is +conceivable, and without any great effort of the mind, that millions +who don't believe in the Christian religion should openly say that they +did. In a country where religion is supposed to be in power--where it +has rewards for pretense, where it pays a premium upon hypocrisy, where +it at least is willing to purchase silence--it is easily conceivable +that millions pretend to believe what they do not. And yet I believe +it has been charged against myself, not only that I was insincere, but +that I took the side I am on for the sake of popularity; and the +audience tonight goes far toward justifying the accusation. + +It gives me immense pleasure to say to this immense audience that +orthodox religion is dying out of the civilized world. It is a sick +man. It has been attacked with two diseases--softening of the brain +and ossification of the heart. It is a religion that no longer +satisfies the intelligence of this county; a religion that no longer +satisfies the brain; a religion against which the heart of every +civilized man and woman protests. It is a religion that gives hope +only to a few; a religion that puts a shadow upon the cradle; a +religion that wraps the coffin in darkness and fills the future of +mankind with flame and fear. It is a religion that I am going to do +what little I can while I live to destroy; and in its place I want +humanity, I want good-fellowship, I want a brain without a chain, I +want a religion that every good heart will cheerfully applaud. + +We must remember that this is a world of progress, a world of change. +There is perpetual death and there is perpetual birth. By the grave of +the old forever stands youth and joy; and, when an old religion dies, a +better one is born. When we find out that an assertion is a falsehood, +a shining truth takes its place, and we need not fear the destruction +of the false. The more false we destroy the more room there will be +for the true. There was a time when the astrologer sought to read in +the stars the fate of men and nations. The astrologer has faded from +the world, but the astronomer has taken his place. There was a time +when the poor alchemist, bent and wrinkled and old, over his crucible, +endeavored to find some secret by which he could change the baser +metals into purest gold. The alchemist is gone; the chemist took his +place; and, although he finds nothing to change metals into gold, he +finds something that covers the earth with wealth. There was a time +when the soothsayer and auger flourished, and after them came the +parson and the priest; and the parson and priest must go. The preacher +must go, and in his place must come the teacher--that real interpreter +of nature. We are done with the supernatural. We are through with the +miraculous and the wonderful. There was once a prophet who pretended +to read in the book of the future. His place was taken by the +philosopher, who reasons from cause to effect--a man who finds the +facts by which he is surrounded and endeavors to reason from these +premises, and to tell what in all probability will happen in the +future. The prophet is gone, the philosopher is here. There was a +time when man sought aid entirely from heaven--when he prayed to the +deaf sky. There was a time when the world depended upon the +supernaturalist. That time in Christendom has passed. We now depend +upon the naturalist--not upon the disciple of faith, but upon the +discoverer of facts--upon the demonstrator of truth. At last we are +beginning to build upon a solid foundation, and just as we progress the +supernatural must die. + +Religion of the supernatural kind will fade from this world, and in its +place we will have reason. In the place of the worship of something we +know not of, will be the religion of mutual love and assistance--the +great religion of reciprocity. Superstition must go. Science will +remain. The church, however, dies a little hard. The brain of the +world is not yet developed. There are intellectual diseases the same +as diseases of the body. Intellectual mumps and measles still afflict +mankind. Whenever the new comes, the old protests, and the old fights +for its place as long as it has a particle of power. And we are now +having the same warfare between superstition and science that there was +between the stagecoach and the locomotive. But the stage-coach had to +go. It had its day of glory and power, but it is gone. It went West. +In a little while it will be driven into the Pacific, with the last +Indian aboard. So we find that there is the same conflict between the +different sects and the different schools, not only of philosophy, but +of medicine. Recollect that everything except the demonstrated truth +is liable to die. That is the order of nature. Words die. Every +language has a cemetery. Every now and then a word dies and a +tombstone is erected, and across it is written the word "obsolete." +New words are continually being born. There is a cradle in which a +word is rocked. A thought is molded to a sound, and the child-word is +born. And then comes a time when the word gets old, and wrinkled, and +expressionless, and is carried mournfully to the grave, and that is the +end of it. So in the schools of medicine. You can remember, so can I, +when the old alopathists reigned supreme. If there was anything the +matter with a man, they let out his blood. Called to the bedside, they +took him to the edge of eternity with medicine, and then practiced all +their art to bring him back to life. One can hardly imagine how +perfect a constitution it took a few years ago to stand the assault of +a doctor. And long after it was found to be a mistake, hundreds and +thousands of the old physicians clung to it, carried around with them, +in one pocket, a bottle of jalap, and in the other a rusty lancet, +sorry that they couldn't find some patient idiotic enough to allow the +experiment to be made again. + +So these schools, and these theories, and these religions die hard. +What else can they do? Like the paintings of the old masters, they are +kept alive because so much money has been invested in them. Think of +the amount of money that has been invested in superstition! Think of +the schools that have been founded for the more general diffusion of +useless knowledge! Think of the colleges wherein men are taught that it +is dangerous to think, and that they must never use their brains except +in an act of faith! Think of the millions and billions of dollars that +have been expended in churches, in temples and in cathedrals! Think of +the thousands and thousands of men who depend for their living upon the +ignorance of mankind! Think of those who grow rich on credulity and +who fatten on faith! Do you suppose they are going to die without a +struggle? They will die if they don't struggle. What are they to do? +From the bottom of my heart I sympathize with the poor clergyman that +has had all his common sense educated out of him, and is now to be +thrown out upon the cold and uncharitable world. His prayers are not +answered; he gets no help from on high, and the pews are beginning to +criticize the pulpit. What is the man to do? If he suddenly change, +he is gone. If he preaches what he really believes, he will get notice +to quit. And yet if he and the congregation would come together and be +perfectly honest, they would all admit they didn't believe anything of +it. + +Only a little while ago a couple of ladies were riding together from a +revival in a carriage late at night, and one said to the other; as they +rode along: "I am going to say something that will shock you, and I +beg of you never to tell it to anybody else. I am going to tell it to +you." "Well, What is it?" Says she: "I don't believe in the bible." +The other replied: "Neither do I." I have often thought how splendid +it would be if the ministers could but come together and say: "Now let +us be honest. Let us tell each other, honor bright--like Dr. Currie +did in the meeting here the other day--let us tell just what we +believe." They tell a story that in the old time a lot of people, +about twenty, were in Texas in a little hotel, and one fellow got up +before the fire, put his hands behind him, and says he: "Boys, let us +all tell our real names." If the ministers and the congregations would +only tell their real thoughts they would find that they are nearly as +bad as I am, and that they believe just about as little. + +Now, I have been talking a great deal about the orthodox religion; and, +after having delivered a lecture, I would meet some good, religious +person, and he would say to me: "You don't tell it as we believe it." +"Well, but I tell it as you have it written in your creed." "Oh, +well," he says, "we don't mind that any more." "Well, why don't you +change it?" "Oh, well," he says, "we understand it." Possibly the +creed is in the best possible condition for them now. There is a tacit +understanding that they don't believe it. There is a tacit +understanding that they have got some way to get around it, that they +read between the lines; and if they should meet now to form a creed, +they might fail to agree; and the creed is now so that they can say as +they please, except in public. Whenever they do so in public, the +church, in self-defense, must try them; and I believe in trying every +minister that doesn't preach the doctrine as he agrees to. I have not +the slightest sympathy with a Presbyterian preacher who endeavors to +preach infidelity from his pulpit and receive Presbyterian money. When +he changes his views, he should step down and out like a man, and say: +"I don't believe your doctrine, and I will not preach it. You must +hire some bigger fool than I am." + +But I find that I get the creed very nearly right. Today there was put +into my hands the new Congregational creed. I have just read it, and I +thought I would call your attention to it tonight, to find whether the +church has made any advance; to find whether it has been affected by +the light of science; to find whether the sun of knowledge has risen in +the heavens in vain; whether they are still the children of +intellectual darkness; whether they still consider it necessary for you +to believe something that you by no possibility, can understand, in +order to be a winged angel forever. Now, let us see what their creed +is. I will read a little of it. They commence by saying that they +"believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven, and of +earth, and of all things visible and invisible." I am perfectly +willing that He should make the invisible, if they want Him to. They +say, now, that there is this one personal God; that He is the maker of +the universe, and its ruler. I again ask the old question: of what +did He make it? If matter has not existed through eternity, then this +God made it. Of what did He make it? What did He use for the purpose? +There was nothing in the universe except this God. What had the God +been doing for the eternity He had been living? He had made +nothing--called nothing into existence; never had had an idea, because +it is impossible to have an idea unless there is something to excite an +idea. What had He been doing? Why doesn't the Congregational Church +tell us? How do they know about this infinite being? And if He is +infinite, how can they comprehend Him? What good is it to believe +something that you don't understand--that you never can understand? In +the old creeds they described this God as a being without body and +parts or passions. Think of that! Something without body and parts or +passions. I defy any man in the world to write a letter descriptive of +nothing. You can not conceive of a finer word-painting of a vacuum +than a something without body and parts or passions. And yet this God, +without passions, is angry at the wicked every day; this God, without +passions, is a jealous God, whose anger burneth to the lowest hell. +This God, without passions, loves the whole human race, and this God, +without passions, damns a large majority of the same. So, too, He is +the ruler of the world, and I find here that we find His providence in +the government of the nations. What nations? What evidence can you +find, if you are absolutely honest and not frightened, in the history +of nations, that this universe is presided over by an infinitely wise +and good God? How do you account for Russia? How do you account for +Siberia? How do you account for the fact that whole races of men toiled +beneath the master's lash for ages without recompense and without +reward? How do you account for the fact that babes were sold from the +arms of mothers--arms that had been reached toward God in supplication? +How do you account for it? How do you account for the existence of +martyrs? How do you account for the fact that this God allows people +to be burned simply for loving Him? How do you account for the fact +that justice doesn't always triumph? How do you account for the fact +that innocence is not a perfect shield? How do you account for the fact +that the world has been filled with pain, and grief, and tears? How do +you account for the fact that people have been swallowed by volcanoes, +swept from the earth by storms, dying by famine, if there is above us a +ruler who is infinitely good and infinitely powerful? + +I don't say there is none. I don't know. As I have said before, this +is the only planet I was ever on. I live in one of the rural districts +of the universe. I know not about these things as much as the clergy. +And if they know no more about the other world than they do about this, +it is not worth mentioning. How do they answer all this? They say +that God "permits it." What would you say to me if I stood by and saw +a ruffian beat out the brains of a child, when I had full and perfect +power to prevent it? You would say truthfully that I was as bad as the +murderer. That is what you would say. Is it possible for this God to +prevent it? Then, if He doesn't, He is a fiend; He is not good. But +they say He "permits it." What for? So we may have freedom of choice. +What for? So that God may find, I suppose, who are good and who are +bad. Didn't He know that when He made us? Did He not know exactly +just what He was making? Why should He make those whom He knew would +be criminals? If I should make a machine that would walk your streets +and commit murder, you would hang me. Why not? And if God made a man +whom He knew would commit murder, then God is guilty of that murder. +If God made a man, knowing he would beat his wife, that he would starve +his children, that he would strew on either side of his path of life +the wrecks of ruined homes, then, I say, the being who called that +wretch into existence is directly responsible. And yet we are to find +the providence of God in the history of nations. What little I have +read shows me that when man has been helped, man had to do it; when the +chains of slavery have been broken, they have been broken by man; when +something bad has been done in the government of mankind, it is easy to +trace it to man, and to fix the responsibility upon human beings. You +will not look to the sky; you need throw neither praise nor blame; you +can find the efficient causes nearer home--right here. + +What is the next thing I find in this creed? "We believe that man was +made in the image of God, that he might know, love and obey God, and +enjoy Him for ever." I don't believe that anybody ever did love God, +because nobody ever knew anything about Him. We love each other. We +love something that we know. We love something that our experience +tells us is good and great, and good and beautiful. We cannot by any +possibility love the unknown. We can love truth, because truth adds to +human happiness. We can love justice, because it preserves human joy. +We can love charity. We can love every form of goodness that we know, +or of which we can conceive, but we cannot love the infinitely unknown. +And how can we be made in the image of something that has neither body +and parts nor passions? + +"That our first parents, by disobedience, fell under the condemnation +of God, and that all men are so alienated from God that there is no +salvation from the guilt and power of sin except through God's +redeeming power." Is there an intelligent man or woman now in the +world who believes in the Garden of Eden story? If there is, strike +here (tapping his forehead) and you will hear an echo. Something is +for rent. Does any human being now believe that God made man of dust +and a woman of a rib, and put them in a garden, and put a tree in the +middle of it? Wasn't there room outside of the garden to put His tree, +if He didn't want people to eat His apple? If I didn't want a man to +eat my fruit I would not put him in my orchard. + +Does anybody now believe in the snake story? I pity any man or woman +who, in this nineteenth century, believes in that childish fable. Why +did they disobey? Why, they were tempted. Who by? The devil. Who +made the devil? What did He make him for? Why didn't He tell Adam and +Eve about this fellow? Why didn't he watch the devil instead of +watching Adam and Eve? Instead of turning them out, why didn't He keep +him from getting in? Why didn't He have His flood first and drown the +devil, before He made man and woman? + +And yet people who call themselves intelligent--professors in colleges +and presidents of venerable institutions--teach children, and young men +who ought to be children, that the Garden of Eden story is an absolute, +historical fact! Well, I guess it will not be long until that will +fade from the imagination of men. I defy any man to think of a more +childish thing. This God waiting around there, knowing all the while +what would happen, made them on purpose so it would happen; and then +what does he do? Holds all of us responsible; and we were not there. +Here is a representative before the constituency had been born. Before +I am bound by a representative, I want a chance to vote for or against +him; and if I had been there, and known all the circumstances, I should +have voted against him. And yet, I am held responsible. + +What did Adam do? I cannot see that it amounted to much anyway. A god +that can create something out of nothing ought not to have complained +of the loss of an apple. I can hardly have the patience to speak upon +such a subject. Now, that absurdity gave birth to another--that, while +we could be rightfully charged with the rascality of somebody else, we +could also be credited with the virtues of somebody else; and the +atonement is the absurdity which offsets the other absurdity of the +fall of man. Let us leave them both out; it reads a great deal better +with both of them out; it makes better sense. + +Now, in consequence of that, everybody is alienated from God. How? +Why? Oh, we are all depraved, you know; we all want to do wrong. Well, +why? Is that because we are depraved? No. Why do we make so many +mistakes? Because there is only one right way, and there is an almost +infinite number of wrong ones; and as long as we are not perfect in our +intellects we must make mistakes. There is no darkness but ignorance; +and alienation, as they call it, from God, is simply a lack of +intellect upon our part. Why were we not given better brains? That +may account for the alienation. But the church teaches that every soul +that finds its way to the shore of this world is against God--naturally +hates God; that the little dimpled child in the cradle is simply a +chunk of depravity. Everybody against God! It is a libel upon the +human race; it is a libel upon all the men who have worked for wife and +child; it is a libel upon all the wives who have suffered and labored, +wept and worked for children; it is a libel upon all the men who have +died for their country; it is a libel upon all who have fought for +human liberty; it is a libel upon the human race. Leave out the +history of the church, and there is nothing in this world to prove the +depravity of man left. + +Everybody that comes is against God. Every soul, they think, is like +the wrecked Irishman. He was wrecked in the sea and drifted to an +unknown island, and as he climbed up the shore he saw a man, and said +to him, "Have you a government here?" The man said, "We have." +"Well," said he, "I am agin it!" The church teaches us that that is +the attitude of every soul in the universe of God. Ought a god to take +any credit to himself for making depraved people? A god that cannot +make a soul that is not totally depraved, I respectfully suggest, +should retire from the business. And if a god has made us, knowing +that we would be totally depraved, why should we go to the same being +for repairs? + +What is the next? "That all men are so alienated from God that there +is no salvation from the guilt and power of his sin except through +God's redeeming grace." + +Reformation is not enough. If the man who steals becomes perfectly +honest, that is not enough; if the man who hates his fellow-man changes +and loves his fellowman, that is not enough; he must go through the +mysterious thing called the second birth; he must be born again. That +is not enough unless he has faith; he must believe something that he +does not understand. Reformation is not enough; there must be what they +call conversion. I deny it. According to the church, nothing so +excites the wrath of God--nothing so corrugates the brows of Jehovah +with revenge--as a man relying on his own good works. He must admit +that he ought to be damned, and that of the two he prefers it, before +God will consent to save him. I saw a man the other day, and he said +to me, "I am a Unitarian Universalist; that is what I am." Said I, +"What do you mean by that?" "Well," said he, "here is what I mean: +the Unitarian thinks he is too good to be damned, and the Universalist +thinks God is too good to damn him, and I believe them both." + +What is the next thing in this great creed? + +"We believe that the scriptures of the old and new testaments are the +records of God's revelation of Himself in the work of redemption; that +they are written by men, under the special guidance of the Holy Spirit, +and that they constitute an authoritative standard by which religious +teaching and human conduct are to be regulated and judged." + +This is the creed of the Congregational Church; that is, it is the +result of the high-joint commission appointed to draw up a creed for +churches; and there we have the statement that the bible was written +"by men, under the special guidance of the Holy Spirit." What part of +the bible? All of it; all of it; and yet what is this old testament +that was written by an infinitely good God? The being who wrote it did +not know the shape of the world He had made. The being who wrote it +knew nothing of human nature; He commands men to love Him, as if one +could love upon command. The same God upheld the institution of human +slavery; and the church says the bible that upholds that institution +was written by men under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Then I +disagree with the Holy Ghost upon that institution. + +The church tells us that men, under the guidance of the Holy Ghost, +upheld the institution of polygamy--I deny it; that under the guidance +of the Holy Ghost these men upheld wars of extermination and +conquest--I deny it; that under the guidance of the Holy Ghost these +men wrote that it was right for a man to destroy the life of his wife +if she happened to differ with him on the subject of religion--I deny +it. And yet that is the book now upheld in this creed of the +Congregational Church. If the devil had written upon the subject of +slavery, which side would he have taken? Let every minister answer, +honor bright. If you knew the devil had written a little work on human +slavery, in your judgment would he uphold slavery or denounce it? +Would you regard it as any evidence that he ever wrote it if he upheld +slavery? And yet, here you have a work upholding slavery, and you say +that it was written by an infinitely good, wise and beneficent God! If +the devil upheld polygamy would you be surprised? If the devil wanted +to kill somebody for differing with him would you be surprised? If the +devil told a man to kill his wife, would you be astonished? And yet, +you say, that is exactly what the God of us all did. If there be a +God, then that creed is blasphemy. That creed is a libel upon Him who +sits upon heaven's throne. I want--if there be a God--I want Him to +write in the book of his eternal remembrance that I denied these lies +for Him. + +I do not believe in a slave-holding God; I do not worship a polygamous +Holy Ghost; I do not get upon my knees before any being who commands a +husband to slay his wife because she expresses her honest thought. + +Did it ever occur to you that if God wrote the old testament, and told +the Jews to crucify or kill anybody that disagreed with them on +religion, and that God afterward took upon Himself flesh and came to +Jerusalem, and taught a different religion, and the Jews killed +Him--did it ever occur to you that He reaped exactly what he had sown? +Did it ever occur to you that He fell a victim to His own tyranny, and +was destroyed by His own law! Of course I do not believe that any God +ever was the author of the bible, or that any God was ever crucified, +or that any God was ever killed or ever will be, but I want to ask you +that question. + +Take this old testament, then, with all its stories of murder and +massacre; with all its foolish and cruel fables; with all its infamous +doctrines; with its spirit of caste; with its spirit of hatred, and +tell me whether it was written by a good God. Why, if you will read the +maledictions and curses of that book, you would think that God, like +Lear, had divided heaven among his daughters, and then, in the insanity +of despair, had launched his curses upon the human race. + +And yet, I must say--I must admit--that the old testament is better +than the new. In the old testament, when God got a man dead, He let +him alone. When He saw him quietly in his grave He was satisfied. The +muscles relaxed, and a smile broke over the Divine face. But in the +new testament the trouble commences just at death. In the new +testament God is to wreak His revenge forever and ever. It was +reserved for one who said, "Love your enemies," to tear asunder the +veil between time and eternity and fix the horrified gaze of men upon +the gulfs of eternal fire. The new testament is just as much worse than +the old, as hell is worse than sleep; just as much worse as infinite +cruelty is worse than annihilation; and yet, the new testament is +pointed to as a gospel of love and peace. + +But "more of that hereafter," as the ministers say. + +"We believe that Jesus Christ came to establish among men the Kingdom +of God, the reign of truth and love, of righteousness and peace." + +Well, that may have been the object of Jesus Christ. I do not deny it. +But what was the result? The Christian world has caused more war than +all the rest of the world besides; all the cunning instruments of death +have been devised by Christians; all the wonderful machinery by which +the brains are blown out of a man, by which nations are conquered and +subdued--all these machines have been born in Christian brains. And +yet He came to bring peace, they say. But the testament says +otherwise: "I came not to bring peace, but a sword." And the sword +was brought. What are the Christian nations doing today in Europe? Is +there a solitary Christian nation that will trust any other? How many +millions of Christians are in the uniform of everlasting forgiveness, +loving their enemies? There was an old Spaniard upon the bed of death, +and he sent for a priest, and the priest told him that he would have to +forgive his enemies before he died. He says, "I have not any." "What! +no enemies?" "Not one," said the dying man, "I killed the last one +three weeks ago." + +How many millions of Christians are now armed and equipped to destroy +their fellow-Christians? Who are the men in Europe crying out against +war? Who wishes to have the nations disarmed? Is it the church? No; +it is the men who do not believe in what they call this religion of +peace. When there is a war, and when they make a few thousand widows +and orphans, when they strew the plain with dead patriots, then +Christians assemble in their churches and sing "Te Deum Laudamus" to +God. Why? Because He has enabled a few of His children to kill some +others of His children. This is the religion of peace--the religion +that invented the Krupp gun, that will hurl a bullet weighing 2,000 +pounds through twenty-four inches of solid steel. This is the religion +of peace, that covers the sea with men-of-war, clad in mail, all in the +name of universal forgiveness. + +What effect had this religion upon the nations of the earth? What have +the nations been fighting about? What was the Thirty Years' War in +Europe for? What was the war in Holland for? Why was it that England +persecuted Scotland? Why is it that England persecutes Ireland even +unto this day? At the bottom of every one of these conflicts you will +find a religious question. The religion of Jesus Christ, as preached +by His church, causes war, bloodshed, hatred, and all uncharitableness; +and why? Because they say a certain belief is necessary to salvation. +They do not say, if you behave yourself pretty well you will get there; +they do not say, if you pay your debts and love your wife, and love +your children, and are good to your friends, and your neighbors, and +your country, you will get there; that will do you no good; you have +got to believe a certain thing. Oh, yes, no matter how bad you are, +you can instantly be forgiven then; and no matter how good you are, if +you fail to believe that, the moment you get to the day of judgment +nothing is left but to damn you forever, and all the angels will shout +"Hallelujah!" + +What do they teach today? Every murderer goes to heaven; there is only +one step from the gallows to God; only one jerk between the halter and +heaven. That is taught by this same church. I believe there ought to +be a law to prevent the slightest religious consolation being given to +any man who has been guilty of murder. Let a Catholic understand that +if he imbrues his hands in his brother's blood, he can have no extreme +unction; let it be understood that he can have no forgiveness through +the church; and let the Protestant understand that when he has +committed that crime, the community will not pray him into heaven. Let +him go with his victim. The victim, you know, dying in his sins, goes +to hell, and the murderer has the happiness of seeing him there. And +if heaven grows dull and monotonous, the murderer can again give life +to the nerve of pleasure by watching the agony of his victim. I am +opposed to that kind of forgiveness. And yet that is the religion of +universal peace to everybody. + +Now, what is the next thing that I wish to call your attention to? + +"We believe in the ultimate prevalence of the Kingdom of Christ over +all the earth." + +What makes you? Do you judge from the manner in which you are getting +along now? How many people are being born a year? About fifty +millions. How many are you converting a year; really, truthfully? Five +or six thousand. I think I have overestimated the number. Is orthodox +Christianity on the increase? No. There are a hundred times as many +unbelievers in orthodox Christianity as there were ten years ago. What +are you doing in the missionary World? How long is it since you +converted a Chinaman? A fine missionary religion, to send +missionaries, with their bibles and tracts, to China, but if a Chinaman +comes here, mob him, simply to show him the difference between the +practical and theoretical workings of the Christian religion. How long +since you have had a convert in India? In my judgment, never; there +never has been an intelligent Hindoo converted from the time the first +missionary put his foot upon that soil; and never, in my judgment, has +an intelligent Chinaman been converted since the first missionary +touched that shore. Where are they? We hear nothing of them, except in +the reports. They get money from poor old ladies, trembling on the +edge of the grave, and go and tell them stories how hungry the average +Chinaman is for a copy of the new testament, and paint the sad +condition of a gentleman in the interior of Africa, without the work of +Dr. McCosh, longing for a copy of the Princeton Review. In my +judgment, it is a book that would suit a savage. Thus money is scared +from the dying and frightened from the old and feeble. About how long +is it before this kingdom is to be established? + +What is the next thing here? They all also believe in the resurrection +of the dead, and in their confession of faith hereto attached I find +they also believe in the resurrection of the body. Does anybody +believe that, that has ever thought? Here is a man, for instance, that +weighs 200 pounds, and gets sick and dies weighing 120; how much will +he weigh in the morning of the resurrection? Here is a cannibal, who +eats another man; and we know that the atoms that you eat go into your +body and become a part of you. After the cannibal has eaten the +missionary, and appropriated his atoms to himself, and then he dies, +who will the atoms belong to in the morning of the resurrection in an +action of replevin brought by the missionary against the cannibal? It +has been demonstrated again and again that there is no creation in +nature, and no destruction in nature. It has been demonstrated again +and again that the atoms that are in us have been in millions of other +beings; grown in the forest, in the grass, blossomed in the flowers, +been in the metals; in other words, there are atoms in each one of us +that have been in millions of others, and when we die these atoms +return to the earth, and again spring in vegetation, taken up in the +leaves of the trees, turned into wood. And yet we have a church, in +the nineteenth century, getting up this doctrine, presided over by +professors, by presidents of colleges, and by theologians, who tell us +that they believe in the resurrection of the body. + +They know better. There is not one so ignorant but what knows better. + +And what is the next thing? "And in a final judgment." It will be a +set day. All of us will be there, and the thousands, and millions, and +billions, and trillions, and quadrillions that have died will be there. +It will be the day of judgment, and the books will be opened and our +case will be called. Does anybody believe in that now that has got the +slightest sense?--one who knows enough to chew gum without a string?" + +"The issues of which are everlasting punishment for the wicked and +everlasting life for the redeemed. "That is the doctrine today of the +Congregational church, and that is the doctrine that I oppose. That is +the doctrine that I defy and deny. + +But I must hasten on. Now this comes to us after all the discussion +that has been, and we are told that this religion is finally to conquer +this world. This is the same religion that failed to successfully meet +the hordes of Mohammed. Mohammed wrested from the disciples of the +cross the fairest part of Europe. It was known that he was an +impostor. They knew he was because the people of Mecca said so, and +they knew that Christ was not because the people of Jerusalem said he +was. This impostor wrested from the disciples of Christ the fairest +part of Europe, and that fact sowed the seeds of distrust and +infidelity in the minds of the Christian world. And the next was an +effort to rescue from the infidels the empty sepulchre of Christ. That +commenced in the eleventh century and ended in 1291. Europe was almost +depopulated. For every man owed a debt, the debt was discharged if he +put a cross upon his breast and joined the Crusades. No matter what +crime he had committed the doors of the prison were open for him to +join the Crusades. And what was the result? They believed that God +would give them victory over the infidel, and they carried in front of +the first Crusade a goat and a goose, believing that both those animals +had been blessed by the indwelling of the Holy Ghost. And I may say +that those same animals are in the lead today in the orthodox world. +Until 1291 they endeavored to get that sepulchre, until finally the +hosts of Christ were driven back, baffled, beaten, and demoralized--a +poor, miserable religious rabble. They were driven back, and that fact +sowed the seeds of distrust in Christendom. You know at that time the +world believed in trial by battle--that God would take the side of +right--and there had been a trial by battle between the Cross and +Mohammed, and Mohammed had been victorious. + +Well, what was the next? You know when Christianity came into power it +destroyed every statue it could lay its ignorant hands upon. It +defaced and obliterated every painting; it destroyed every beautiful +building; it destroyed the manuscripts, both Greek and Latin; it +destroyed all the history, all the poetry, all the philosophy it could +find, and burned every library that it could reach with its torch. And +the result was the night of the middle ages fell upon the human race. +But by accident, by chance, by oversight, a few of the manuscripts +escaped the fury of religious zeal; a few statues had been buried; and +the result was, that these manuscripts became the seed, the fruit of +which is our civilization of today. A few forms of beauty were dug +from the earth that had protected them, and now the civilized world is +filled with art, with painting, and with statuary, in spite of the rage +of the early church. + +What is the next blow that that this church received? The discovery of +America. That is the next. The Holy Ghost, who inspired a man to +write the bible, did not know of the existence of this continent, never +dreamed of it; the result was that His bible never spoke of it. He did +not dream that the earth is round. He believed it was flat, although +He made it Himself, and at that time heaven was just up there beyond +the clouds. There was where the gods lived, there was where the angels +were, and it was against that heaven that Jacob's ladder was that the +angels ascended and descended. It was to that heaven that Christ +ascended after His resurrection. It was up there where the New +Jerusalem was, with its streets of gold, and under this earth was +perdition; there was where the devils lived; there was where a pit was +dug for all unbelievers, and for men who had brains, and I say that for +this reason: That just in proportion that you have brains, just in that +proportion your chances for eternal joy are lessened, according to this +religion. And just in proportion that you lack brains, your chances are +increased. They believe, under there that they discovered America. They +found that the earth is round. It was circumnavigated by Magellan. In +1519 that brave man set sail. The church told him: "The earth is flat, +my friend; don't go off. You will go off the edge." Magellan said: "I +have seen the shadow of the earth upon the moon, and I have more +confidence in the shadow even than I have in the church." The ship +went round. The earth was circumnavigated. Science passed its hand +above it and beneath it, and where was the heaven, and where was the +hell? Vanished forever! And they dwell now only in the religion of +superstition. We found there was no place for Jacob's ladder to lean +against; no place there for the gods and angels to live; no place there +to empty the waters of the deluge; no place there to which Christ could +have ascended; and the foundations of the New Jerusalem crumbled, and +the towers and domes fell and became simply space--space sown with an +infinite number of stars; not with New Jerusalems, but with +constellations. + +Then man began to grow great, and with that you know came astronomy. +Now just see what they did in that. In 1473 Copernicus was born. In +1543 his great work. In 1616 the system of Copernicus was condemned by +the pope, by the infallible Catholic church, and the church is about as +near right upon that subject as upon any other. The system of +Copernicus was denounced. And how long do you suppose the church +fought that? Let me tell you. It was revoked by Pius VII. in the year +of grace 1821. For 205 years after the death of Copernicus the church +insisted that that system was false, and that the old idea was true. +Astronomy is the first help that we ever received from heaven. Then +came Kepler in 1609, and you may almost date the birth of science from +the night that Kepler discovered his first law. That was the dawn of +the day of intelligence--his first law, that the planets do not move in +circles; his second law, that they described equal spaces in equal +times; his third law, that there was a direct relation between weight +and velocity. That man gave us a key to heaven. That man opened its +infinite book, and we now read it, and he did more good than all the +theologians that ever lived. I have not time to speak of the +others--of Galileo, of Leonardo da Vinci, and of hundreds of others +that I could mention. + +The next thing that gave this church a blow was statistics. Away went +special providence. We found by taking statistics that we could tell +the average length of human life; that this human life did not depend +upon infinite caprice; that it depended upon conditions, circumstances, +laws and facts, and that those conditions, circumstances, and facts +were ever active. And now you will see the man who depends entirely +upon special providence gets his life insured. He has more confidence +even in one of these companies than he has in the whole Trinity. We +found by statistics that there were just so many crimes on an average +committed; just so many crimes of one kind and so many of another; just +so many suicides, so many deaths by drowning; just so many accidents on +an average; just so many men marrying women, for instance, older than +themselves; just so many murders of a particular kind; just the same +number of accidents; and I say tonight statistics utterly demolish the +idea of special providence. Only the other day a gentleman was telling +me of a case of special providence. He knew it. He had been the +subject of it. Yes, sir! A few years ago he was about to go on a ship +when he was detained; he didn't go, and the ship was lost and all on +board. Yes! I said, "Do you think the fellows that were drowned +believed in special providence?" Think of the infinite egotism of such +a doctrine. Here is a man that fails to go upon a ship with 500 +passengers, and they go down to the bottom of the sea--fathers, +mothers, children, and loving husbands, and wives waiting upon the +shores of expectation. Here is one poor little wretch that didn't +happen to go! And he thinks that God, the infinite being, interfered in +his poor little withered behalf and let the rest all go. That is +special providence! + +You know we have a custom every year of issuing a proclamation of +thanksgiving. We say to God, "Although You have afflicted all the +other countries, although You have sent war, and desolation, and famine +on everybody else, we have been such good children that you have been +kind to us, and we hope you will keep on." It don't make a bit of +difference whether we have good times or not--not a bit; the +thanksgiving is always exactly the same. I remember a few years ago a +governor of Iowa got out a proclamation of that kind. He went on to +tell how thankful the people were, how prosperous the State had been; +and there was a young fellow in the State who got out another +proclamation, saying: "Fearing that the Lord might be misled by +official correspondence," he went on to say that the governor's +proclamation was entirely false; that the State was not prosperous; +that the crops had been an almost entire failure; that nearly every +farm in the state was mortgaged; that if the Lord did not believe him, +all he asked was He would send some angel in whom he had confidence to +look the matter over for himself. + +Of course I have not time to recount the enemies of the church. Every +fact is an enemy of superstition. Every fact is a heretic. Every +demonstration is an infidel. Everything that ever happened testified +against the supernatural. I have only spoken of a few of the blows +that shattered the shield and shivered the lance of superstition. Here +is another one--the doctrine of Charles Darwin. This century will be +called Darwin's century, one of the greatest men who ever touched this +globe. He has explained more of the phenomena of life than all of the +religious teachers. Write the name of Charles Darwin there (on the one +hand) and the name of every theologian that ever lived there (on the +other hand), and from that name has come more light to the world than +from all those. His doctrine of evolution, his doctrine of the +survival of the fittest, his doctrine of the origin of species, has +removed in every thinking mind the last vestige of orthodox +Christianity. He has not only stated, but he has demonstrated, that +the inspired writer knew nothing of this world, nothing of the origin +of man, nothing of geology, nothing of astronomy, nothing of nature; +that the bible is a book written by ignorance--by the instigation of +fear! Think of the man who replied to him. Only a few years ago there +was no parson too ignorant to successfully answer Charles Darwin; and +the more ignorant he was the more cheerfully he undertook the task. He +was held up to the ridicule, the scorn, and the contempt of the +Christian world, and yet when he died England was proud to put his dust +with that of her noblest and her grandest. + +Charles Darwin conquered the intellectual world, and the doctrine of +evolution is now an accepted fact. His light has broken in on some of +the early clergy, and the greatest man who today occupies the pulpit is +a believer in the evolution theory of Charles Darwin--and that is Henry +Ward Beecher--a man of more brains than the entire clergy of that +entire church put together. And yet we are told in this little creed +that orthodox religion is about to conquer the world. It will be +driven to the wilds of Africa. It must go to some savage country; it +has lost its hold upon civilization, and I tell you it is unfortunate +to have a religion that cannot be accepted by the intellect of a +nation. It is unfortunate to have a religion against which every good +and noble heart protests. Let us have a good one or none. O! my pity +has been excited by seeing these ministers endeavor to warp and twist +the passages of scripture to fit some demonstration in science. These +pious evasions! These solemn pretenses! When they are caught in one +way they give a different meaning to the words and say the world was +not made in seven days. They say "good whiles"--epochs. And in this +same confession here of faith and creeds they believe the Lord's day is +holy--every seventh day. Suppose you lived near the north pole, where +the day is three months long. Then which day will you keep? Suppose +you could get to the north pole, you could prevent Sunday from ever +overtaking you. You could walk around the other way faster than the +world could revolve. How would you keep Sunday then? Suppose we ever +invent any thing that can go 1,000 miles an hour? We can just chase +Sunday clear around the globe. Is there anything that can be more +perfectly absurd than that a space of time can be holy! You might as +well talk about a pious vacuum. These pious evasions. I heard the +other night of an old man. He was not very well educated, you know, +and he got into the notion that he must have reading of the bible and +have family worship; and there was a bad boy in the family--a pretty +smart boy--and they were reading the bible by course, and in the +fifteenth chapter of Corinthians is this passage: "Behold, brethren, I +show you a mystery; we shall not all die, but we shall be changed." +And this boy rubbed out the "c" in the "changed." So next night the +old man got on his specs and got down his bible and said: "Behold, +brethren, I show you a mystery; we shall not all die, but we shall be +hanged." The old lady said, "Father, I don't think it reads that way." +He says, "Who is reading this?" "Yes, mother, it says be hanged, and, +more than that, I see the sense of it. Pride is the besetting sin of +the human heart, and if there is anything calculated to take the pride +out of a man it is hanging." + +I keep going back to this book; I keep going back to the miracles, to +the prophecies, to the fables, and people ask me, if I take away the +bible, what are we going to do? How can we get along without the +revelation that no one understands? What are we going to do if we have +no bible to quarrel about? What are we to do without hell? What are +we going to do with our enemies? What are we going to do with the +people we love but don't like? They tell me that there never would have +been any civilization if it had not been for this bible. Um! The Jews +had a bible; the Romans had not. Which had the greater and the grander +government? Let us be honest. Which of those nations produced the +greatest poets, the greatest soldiers, the greatest orators, the +greatest statesmen, the greatest sculptors? Rome had no bible. God +cared nothing for the Roman Empire. He let the men come up by chance. +His time was taken up by the Jewish people. And yet Rome conquered the +world, and even conquered God's chosen people. The people that had the +bible were defeated by the people who had not. How was it possible for +Lucretius to get along without the bible? How did the great and +glorious of that empire? And what shall we say of Greece? No bible. +Compare Athens with Jerusalem. From Athens comes the beauty and +intellectual grace of the world. Compare the mythology of Greece with +the mythology of Judea. One covering the earth with beauty, and the +other filling heaven with hatred and injustice. The Hindoos had no +bible; they had been forsaken by the creator, and yet they became the +greatest metaphysicians of the world. Egypt had no bible. Compare +even Egypt with Judea. What are we to do without the bible? What +became of the Jews who had no bible; their temple was destroyed and +their city was taken; and, as I said before, they never found real +prosperity until their God deserted them. Do without the bible? + +Now I come again to the new testament. There are a few things in +there, I give you my word, I cannot believe. I cannot--I cannot +believe in the miraculous origin of Jesus Christ. I believe He was the +son of Joseph and Mary; that Joseph and Mary had been duly and legally +married; that He was the legitimate offspring of that marriage, and +nobody ever believed the contrary until He had been dead 150 years. +Neither Matthew, Mark nor Luke ever dreamed that He was of divine +origin. He did not say to either Matthew, Mark or Luke, or to any one +in their hearing, that He was the son of God, or that He was +miraculously conceived. He did not say it. The angel Gabriel, who, +they say, brought the news, never wrote a word upon the subject. His +mother never wrote a word upon the subject. His father never wrote a +word upon the subject. We are lacking in the matter of witnesses. I +would not believe it now! I cannot believe it then. I would not +believe people I know, much less would I believe people I don't know. +I say that at that time Matthew, Mark and Luke believed that He was the +son of Joseph and Mary. And why? They say He descended from the blood +of David, and in order to show that He was of the blood of David they +gave the genealogy of Joseph. And if Joseph was not his father, why +not give the genealogy of Pontius Pilate or Herod? Could they, by +giving the genealogy of Joseph, show that He was of the blood of David +if Joseph was in no way related to David; and yet that is the position +into which the Christian world is now driven. It says the son of +Joseph, and then interpolated the words "as was supposed." Why, then, +do they give a supposed genealogy. It will not do. And that is a +thing that cannot in any way, by any human testimony, be established; +and if it is important for us to know that He was the Son of God, I say +then that it devolves upon God to give us evidence. Let Him write it +across the face of the heavens, in every language of mankind. If it is +necessary for us to believe it, let it grow on every leaf next year. +No man should be damned for not believing unless the evidence is +overwhelming. And he ought not to be made to depend upon say-so. He +should have it directly for himself. A man says God told him so and +so, and he tells me, and I haven't anyone's word but that fellow's. He +may have been deceived. If God has a message for me He ought to tell +it to me, and not somebody that has been dead 4,000 or 5,000 years, and +in another language; God may have changed His mind on many things; He +has on slavery at least, and polygamy; and yet His church now wants to +go out here and destroy polygamy in Utah with a sword. Why don't they +send missionaries there with copies of the old testament? By reading +the lives of Abraham, and Isaac, and Lot, and a few other fellows that +ought to have been in the penitentiary, they can soften their hearts. + +Now, there is another miracle I do not believe. I want to speak about +it as we would about any ordinary transaction in the world. In the +first place, I do not believe that any miracle was ever performed, and +if there was, you can't prove it. Why? Because it is altogether more +reasonable that the people lied about it than that it happened. And +why? Because, according to human experience, we know that people will +not always tell the truth, and we never saw a miracle, and we have got +to be governed by our experience, and if we go by our experience, it is +in favor that the thing never happened; that the man is mistaken. Now, +I want you to remember it. Here is a man that comes into Jerusalem, +and the first thing he does he cures the blind. He lets the light of +day visit the darkness of blindness. The eyes are opened and the whole +world is again pictured upon the brain. Another man is clothed with +leprosy. He touches him, and the disease falls from him, and he stands +pure, and clean, and whole. Another man is deformed, wrinkled, bent. +He touches him and throws upon him again the garment of youth. A man +is in his grave, and He says, "Come forth!" and he again walks in life, +feeling his heart throb and beat, and his blood going joyously through +his veins. They say that happened. I don't know. There is one +wonderful thing about the dead people that were raised--we don't hear +of them any more. What became of them? Why, if there was a man in +this town that had been raised from the dead, I would go to see him +tonight. I would say, "Where were you when you got the notice to come +back? What kind of country is it? What kind of opening there for a +young man? How did you like it?" But nobody ever paid the slightest +attention to them there. They didn't even excite interest when they +died the second time. Nobody said, "Why, that man isn't afraid. He has +been there." Not a word. They pass away quietly. You see I don't +believe it. There is something wrong somewhere about that business. +And then there is another trouble in my mind. Now, you know I may +suffer eternal punishment for all this. + +Here is a man that does all these things, and thereupon they crucify +Him. Now, then, let us be honest. Suppose a man came into Chicago and +he should meet a funeral procession, and he should say, "Who is dead?" +and they should say, "The son of a widow; her only support," and he +should say to the procession, "Halt!" And to the undertaker, "Take out +that coffin, unscrew that lid." "Young man, I say unto thee, arise!" +And the latter should step from the coffin, and in one moment after +hold his mother in his arms. Suppose he should go to your cemetery and +should find some woman holding a little child in each hand, while the +tears fell upon a new-made grave, and he should say to her, "Who lies +buried here?" and she should reply, "My husband," and he should say, "I +say unto thee, oh grave, give up thy dead," and the husband should rise +and in a moment after have his lips upon his wife's, and the little +children with their arms around his neck. Suppose that it is so. Do +you think that the people of Chicago would kill him? Do you think any +one would wish to crucify him? Do you not rather believe that every +one who had a loved one out in that cemetery would go to him, even upon +their knees, and beg him and implore him to give back their dead? Do +you believe that any man was ever crucified who was the master of +death? Let me tell you tonight if there shall ever appear on this earth +the master, the monarch of death, all human knees will touch the earth; +he will not be crucified, he will not be touched. All the living who +fear death; all the living who have lost a loved one will stand and +cling to him. And yet we are told that this worker of miracles, this +worker of wonders, this man who could clothe the dead in the throbbing +flesh of life, was crucified by the Jewish people. It was never +dreamed that he did a miracle until 100 years after he was dead. + +There is another miracle I do not believe, I cannot believe it, and +that is the resurrection. And why? If it was the fact, if the dead +got out of the grave, why did He not show himself to his enemies? Why +did He not again visit Pontius Pilate? Why did He not call upon +Caiaphas, the high priest? Why did He not make another triumphal entry +into Jerusalem? Why did He not again enter the temple and dispute with +the doctors? Why didn't He say to the multitude: "Here are the wounds +in My feet, and in My hands, and in My side. I am the one you +endeavored to kill, but Death is My slave." Why didn't He? Simply +because the thing never happened. I cannot believe it. But recollect, +it makes no difference with its teachings. They are exactly as good +whether He wrought miracles or not. Twice two are four; that needs no +miracle. Twice two are five--a miracle would not help that. Christ's +teachings are worth their effect upon the human race. It makes no +difference about miracle or about wonder, but you must remember in that +day every one believed in miracles. Nobody had any standing as a +teacher, a philosopher, a governor, or a king, about whom there was not +a something miraculous. The earth was then covered with the sons and +daughters of the gods and goddesses. That was believed in Greece, in +Rome, in Egypt, in Hindustan; everybody, nearly, believed in such +things. + +Then there is another miracle that I cannot believe in, and that is the +ascension--the bodily ascension of Jesus Christ. Where was He going? +Since the telescope has been pointed at the stars, where was He going? +The New Jerusalem is not there. The abode of the gods is not there. +Where was He going? Which way did He go? That depends upon the time +of day that He left. If He left in the night He went exactly the +opposite way from what He would in the day. Who saw this miracle? +They say the disciples. Let us see what they say about it. Matthew +did not think it was worth mentioning. He doesn't speak of it at all. +On the contrary, he says that the last words of Christ were: "Lo, I am +with you always, even unto the end of the world." That is what he +says. Mark, he saw it. "So, then, after the Lord had spoken unto them +He was received up into heaven and sat on the right hand of God." That +is all he has to say about the most wonderful thing that ever blessed +human vision--about a miracle great enough to have stuffed credulity to +bursting; and yet we have one poor, little meagre verse. So, then, +after He had quit speaking, He was caught up and sat on the right hand +of God. How does he know He was on the right hand? Did he see Him +after He had sat down? Luke says: "And it came to pass while He +blessed them He was parted from them and was carried up into heaven." +But John does not mention it. He gives as His last words this address +to Peter: "Follow thou Me." Of course He did not say that as He +ascended. In the Acts we have another account. A conversation is +given not spoken of in any of the others, and we find there two men +clad in white apparel, who said: "Men of Galilee, why stand ye here +gazing up into heaven? This same Jesus that was taken up into heaven +shall so come in like manner as ye have seen Him go up into Heaven." +Matthew didn't see that; Mark forgot it; Luke didn't think it was worth +mentioning, and John didn't believe it; and yet upon that evidence we +are led to believe that the most miraculous of all miracles actually +occurred. I cannot believe it. + +I may be mistaken; but the church is now trying to parry, and when they +come to the little miracles of the new testament all they say is: +"Christ didn't cast out devils; these men had fits." He cured fits. +Then I read in another place about the fits talking. Christ held a +dialogue with the fits, and the fits told Him his name, and the fits at +that time were in a crazy man. And the fits made a contract that they +would go out of the man provided they would be permitted to go into +swine. How can fits that attack a man take up a residence in swine? +The church must not give up the devil. He is the right bower. No +devil, no hell; no hell, no preacher; no fire, no insurance. I read +another miracle--that this devil took Christ and put him on the +pinnacle of a temple. Was that fits, too? Why is not the theological +world honest? Why do they not come up and admit what they know the +book means? They have not the courage. Now, their next doctrine is +the absolute necessity of belief. That depends upon this: Can a man +believe as he wants to? Can you? Can anybody? Does belief depend at +all upon the evidence? I think it does somewhat in some cases. How is +it that when a jury is sworn to try a case, hearing all the +evidence--hearing both sides, hearing the charge of the judge, hearing +the law, and upon their oaths, are equally divided, six for the +plaintiff and six for the defendant? It is because evidence does not +have the same effect upon all people. Why? Our brains are not +alike--not the same shape; we have not the same intelligence or the +same experience, the same sense. And yet I am held accountable for my +belief. I must believe in the Trinity--three times one is one, once +one is three--and my soul is to be eternally damned for failing to +guess an arithmetical conundrum. And that is the poison part of +Christianity--that salvation depends upon belief--that is the poison +part, and until that dogma is discarded religion will be nothing but +superstition. No man can control his belief. If I hear certain +evidence I will believe a certain thing. If I fail to hear it I may +never believe it. If it is adapted to my mind I may accept it; if it +is not, I reject it. And what am I to go by? My brain. That is the +only light I have from nature, and if there be a God, it is the only +torch that this God has given me by which to find my way through the +darkness and the night called life. I do not depend upon hearsay for +that. I do not have to take the word of any other man, nor get upon my +knees before a book. Here, in the temple of the mind, I go and consult +the God--that is to say, my reason--and the oracle speaks to me, and I +obey the oracle. What should I obey? Another man's oracle? Shall I +take another man's word and not what he thinks, but what God said to +him? + +I would not know a god if I should see one. I have said before, and I +say again, the brain thinks in spite of me, and I am not responsible +for my thought. No more can I control the beating of my heart, the +expansion and contraction of my lungs for a moment; no more can I stop +the blood that flows through the rivers of the veins. And yet I am +held responsible for my belief. Then why does not the God give me the +evidence? They say He has. In what? In an inspired book. But I do +not understand it as they do. Must I be false to my understanding? +They say: "When you come to die you will be sorry you did not." Will +I be sorry when I come to die that I did not live a hypocrite? Will I +be sorry I did not say I was a Christian when I was not? Will the fact +that I was honest put a thorn in the pillow of death? God cannot +forgive me for that. They say when He was in Jerusalem, He forgave His +murderers. Now He won't forgive an honest man for differing with Him +on the subject of the Trinity. They say that God says to me, "Forgive +your enemies." I say, "All right, I do;" but he says, "I will damn +mine." God should be consistent. If He wants me to forgive my enemies, +He should forgive His. I am asked to forgive enemies who can hurt me. +God is only asked to forgive enemies who cannot hurt Him. He certainly +ought to be as generous as He asks us to be. And I want no God to +forgive me unless I do forgive others. All I ask, if that be true, is +that this God should live according to His own doctrine. If I am to +forgive my enemies I ask Him to forgive His. That is justice, that is +right. Here are these millions today who say: "We are to be saved by +belief, by faith; but what are we to believe?" + +In St. Louis last Sunday I read an interview with a Christian +minister--one who is now holding a revival. They call him the boy +preacher--a name that he has borne for fifty or sixty years. The +question was whether in these revivals, when they were trying to rescue +souls from eternal torture, they would allow colored people to occupy +seats with white people, and that revivalist, preaching the +unsearchable richness of Christ, said he would not allow the colored +people to sit with white people; they must go to the back of the +church. The same people go and sit right next to them in heaven, swap +harps with them, and yet this man, believing as he says he does, that +if he did not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ he would eternally +perish, was not willing that the colored man should sit by a white man +while he heard the gospel of everlasting peace. He was not willing +that the colored man should get into the lifeboat of Christ, although +those white men might be totally depraved, and if they had justice done +them, according to his doctrine. would be eternally damned--and yet he +has the impudence to put on airs, although he ought to be eternally +damned, and go and sit by the colored man. His doctrine of religion, +the color line, has not my respect. I believe in the religion of +humanity, and it is far better to love our fellow-men than to love God, +because we can help them, and we cannot help Him. You had better do +what you can than to be always pretending to do what you cannot. + +Now I come to the last part of the bible--this creed--and that is, +eternal punishment, and I have concluded; and I have said I will never +deliver a lecture that I do not give the full benefit of its name. +That part of the Congregational creed would disgrace the lowest savage +that crouches and crawls in the jungles of Africa. The man who now, in +the nineteenth century, preaches the doctrine of eternal punishment, +the doctrine of eternal hell, has lived in vain. Think of that +doctrine! The eternity of punishment! Why, I find in that same creed +that Christ is finally going to triumph in this world and establish His +kingdom; but if their doctrine is true, He will never triumph in the +other world. He will have billions in hell forever. In this world we +never will be perfectly civilized as long as a gallows casts its shadow +upon the earth. As long as there is a penitentiary, behind the walls +of which a human being is immured, we are not a civilized people. We +will never be perfectly civilized until we do away with crime and +criminals. And yet, according to this Christian religion, God is to +have an eternal penitentiary; He is to be an everlasting jailor, an +everlasting turnkey, a warden of an infinite dungeon, and He is going +to keep prisoners there, not for the purpose of reforming them--because +they are never going to get any better, only getting worse--just for +the purpose of punishing them. And what for? For something they did +in this world; born in ignorance, educated it may be in poverty, and +yet responsible through the countless ages of eternity. No man can +think of a greater horror; no man can think of a greater absurdity. +For the growth of that doctrine, ignorance was soil and fear was rain. +That doctrine came from the fanged mouths of wild beasts, and yet it is +the "glad tidings of great joy." + +"God so loved the world" He is going to damn most everybody, and, if +this Christian religion be true, some of the greatest, and grandest, +and best who ever lived upon this earth, are suffering its torments +tonight. It don't appear to make much difference, however, with this +church. They go right on enjoying themselves as well as ever. If +their doctrine is true, Benjamin Franklin, one of the wisest, and best +of men, who did so much to give us here a free government, is suffering +the tyranny of God tonight, while he endeavored to establish freedom +among men. If the churches were honest, their preachers would tell +their hearts, "Benjamin Franklin is in hell, and we warn any and all +the youth not to imitate Benjamin Franklin. Thomas Jefferson, the +author of the Declaration of Independence, with its self-evident +truths, has been damned these many years." That is what all the +ministers ought to have the courage to say. Talk as you believe. Stand +by your creed or change it. I want to impress it upon your mind, +because the thing I wish to do in this world is to put out the fires of +hell I want to keep at it just as long as there is one little coal red +in the bottomless pit. As long as the ashes are warm, I shall denounce +this infamous doctrine. + +I want you to know that the men who founded this great and glorious +government are there. The most of the men who fought in the +Revolutionary War and wrested from the clutch of Great Britain this +continent; have been rewarded by the eternal wrath of God. The old +Revolutionary soldiers are in hell by the thousands. Let the preachers +have the courage to say so. The men who fought in 1812, and gave to +the United States the freedom of the seas, nearly all of them have been +damned since 1815--all that were killed. The greatest of heroes, they +are there. The greatest of poets, the greatest scientists, the men who +have made the world beautiful and grand, they are all, I tell you, +among the damned, if this creed is true. Humboldt, who shed light, and +who added to the intellectual wealth of mankind, Goethe, and Schiller, +and Lessing, who almost created the German language--all gone! All +suffering the wrath of God tonight, and every time an angel thinks of +one of those men he gives his harp an extra twang. + +La Place, who read the heaven like an open book--he is there. Robert +Burns, the poet of human love--he is there because he wrote the "Prayer +of Holy Willie;" because he fastened upon the cross the Presbyterian +creed, and made a lingering crucifixion. And yet that man added to the +tenderness of human heart. Dickens, who put a shield of pity before the +flesh of childhood God is getting even with him. Our own Ralph Waldo +Emerson, although he had a thousand opportunities to hear Methodist +clergymen, scorned the means of grace, and the Holy Ghost is delighted +that he is in hell tonight. + +Longfellow refined hundreds and thousands of homes, but he did not +believe in the miraculous origin of the Savior. No, sir; he doubted +the report of Gabriel. He loved his fellow-men; he did what he could +to free the slaves; he did what he could to make mankind happy; but God +was just waiting for him. He had His constable right there. Thomas +Paine, the author of the "Rights of Man," offering his life in both +hemispheres for the freedom of the human race, and one of the founders +of the Republic--it has often seemed to me that if we could get God's +attention long enough to point Him to the American flag, He would let +him out. Compte, the author of the "Positive Philosophy," who loved his +fellow-men to that degree that he made of humanity a God, who wrote his +great work in poverty, with his face covered with tears--they are +getting their revenge on him now. Voltaire, who abolished torture in +France; who did more for human liberty than any other man, living or +dead; who was the assassin of superstition, and whose dagger still +rusts in the heart of Catholicism--all the priests who have been +translated have their happiness increased by looking at Voltaire. +Glorious country where the principal occupation is watching the +miseries of the lost. Geordani Bruno, Benedict Spinoza, Diderot, the +encyclopedist, who endeavored to get all knowledge in a small compass +so that he could put the peasant on an equality with the prince +intellectually; the man who wished to sow all over the world the seeds +of knowledge; who loved to labor for mankind. While the priests wanted +to burn, he did all he could to put out the fire--he has been lost +long, long ago. His cry for water has, become so common that his voice +is now recognized through all the realms of hell, and they say to one +another, "That is Diderot." David Hume, the philosopher, he is there +with the rest. + +Beethoven, the Shakespeare of music, he has been lost, and Wagner, the +master of melody, and who has made the air of this world rich forever, +he is there, and they have better music in hell than in heaven. + +Shelley, whose soul, like his own skylark, was a winged joy--he has +been damned for many, many years; and Shakespeare, the greatest of the +human race, who has done more to elevate mankind than all the priests +who ever lived and died--he is there; and all the founders of +Inquisitions, the builders of dungeons, the makers of chains, the +inventors of instruments of torture, tearers, and burners, and branders +of human flesh, stealers of babes and sellers of husbands, and wives, +and children, the drawers of the swords, of persecution, and they who +kept the horizon lurid with the fagot's flame for a thousand +years--they are in heaven tonight. Well, I wish heaven joy of such +company. + +And that is the doctrine with which we are polluting the souls of +children. That is the doctrine that puts a fiend by their dying bed +and a prophesy of hell over every cradle. That is "glad tidings of +great joy." Only a little while ago, when the great flood came upon +the Ohio, sent by him who is ruling in the world and paying particular +attention to the affairs of nations, just in the gray of the morning +they saw a house floating down, and on its top a human being; and a few +men went out to the rescue in a little boat, and they found there a +mother, a woman, and they wanted to rescue her, and she said: "No, I +am going to stay where I am. I have three dead babes in this house." +Think of a love so limitless, stronger and deeper than despair and +death, and yet the Christian religion says that if that woman did not +happen to believe in their creed, God would send that mother's soul to +eternal fire. If there is another world, and if in heaven they wear +hats, when such a woman climbs up the opposite bank of the Jordan, +Christ should lift His to her. + +That is the trouble I had with this Christian religion--its infinite +heartlessness; and I cannot tell them too often that during our last +war Christians who knew that if they were shot they would go right to +heaven, went and hired wicked men to take their places, perfectly +willing the men should go to hell, provided they could stay at home. +You see they are not honest in it; they do not believe it, or, as the +people say, "They don't sense it;" they have not religion enough to +conceive what it is they believe and what a terrific falsehood they +assert. And I beg of every one who hears me tonight, I beg, I implore, +I beseech you never give another dollar to build a church in which that +lie is preached. Never give another cent to send a missionary with his +mouth stuffed with that falsehood to a foreign land. Why, they say, +the heathen will go to heaven anyway if you let them alone; what is the +use of sending them to hell by enlightening them. Let them alone. The +idea of going and telling a man a thing that if he does not believe he +will be damned, when the chances are ten to one that he won't believe +it. Don't tell him, and as quick as he gets to the other world and +finds it necessary to believe, he will say "yes." Give him a chance. + +My objection to the Christian religion is that it destroys human love, +and tells you and me that the love of your dear-ones is not necessary +in this world to make a heaven in the next. No matter about your wife, +your children, your brother, your sister--no matter about all the +affections of the human heart--when you get there you will be alone +with the angels. I don't know whether I would like the angels. I +don't know whether the angels would like me. I would rather stand by +the folks who have loved me and whom I know; and I can conceive of no +heaven without the love of this earth. That is the trouble with the +Christian religion; leave your father, leave your mother, leave your +wife, leave your children, leave everything and follow Jesus Christ. I +will not. I will stay with the folks. I will not sacrifice on the +altar of a selfish fear all the grandest and noblest promptings of my +heart. You do away with human love, and what are we without it? What +would we be in another world, and what would we be here without it? +Can any one conceive of music without human love? Human love builds +every home--human love is the author of all the beauty in this world. +Love paints every picture, and chisels every statue; love, I tell you, +builds every fireside. What would heaven be without love? And yet +that is what we are promised--a heaven with your wife lost, your mother +lost, some of your children gone. And you expect to be made happy by +falling in with some angel. + +Such a religion is demoralizing; and how are you to get there? On the +efforts of another. You are to be perpetually a heavenly pauper, and +you will have to admit through all eternity that you never would have +got here if you hadn't got frightened. "I am here," you will say, "I +have these wings, I have this musical instrument, because I was +scared." What a glorious world; and then think of it! No reformation +in the next world--not the slightest. If you die in Arkansas that is +the end of you. At the end you will be told that being born in +Arkansas you had a fair chance. Think of telling a boy in the next +world, who lived and died in Delaware, that he had a fair show! Can +anything be more infamous? All on an equality--the rich and the poor, +those with parents loving them, those with every opportunity for +education, on an equality with the poor, the abject, and the +ignorant--and the little ray called life, this little moment with a +shadow and a tear, this little space between your mother's arms and the +grave, that balances an entire eternity. And God can do nothing for +you when you get there. A little Methodist preacher can do no more for +the soul here than its creator can when you get there. The soul goes +to heaven, where there is nothing but good society; no bad examples; +and they are all there, Father, Son and Holy Ghost, and yet they can do +nothing for that poor unfortunate except to damn him. Is there any +sense in that? Why should this be a period of probation? It says in +the bible, I believe, "Now is the accepted time." When does that mean? +That means whenever the passage is pronounced. Now is the accepted +time. It will be the same tomorrow, won't it? And just as appropriate +then as today, and if appropriate at any time, appropriate through all +eternity. What I say is this: There is no world--there can be no +world--in which every human being will not have an opportunity of doing +right. That is my objection to this Christian religion, and if the +love of earth is not the love of heaven, if those who love us here are +to be separated there, then I want eternal sleep. Give me a good cold +grave rather than the furnace of Jehovah's wrath. Gabriel, don't blow! +Let me alone! If, when the grave bursts, I am not to meet faces that +have been my sunshine in this life, let me sleep on. Rather than that +the doctrine of endless punishment should be tried, I would like to see +the fabric of our civilization crumble and fall to unmeaning chaos and +to formless dust, where oblivion broods and where even memory forgets. +I would rather a Samson of some unprisoned force, released by chance, +should so wreck and strain the mighty world that man in stress and +strain of want and fear should shudderingly crawl back to savage and +barbaric night. I would rather that every planet would in its orbit +wheel a barren star rather than that the Christian religion should be +true. + +I think it is better to love your children than to love God, a thousand +times better, because you can help them, and I am inclined to think +that God can get along without you. I believe in the religion of the +family. I believe that the roof-tree is sacred from the smallest fibre +held in the soft, moist clasp of the earth to the little blossom on the +topmost bough that gives its fragrance to the happy air. The family +where virtue dwells with love is like a lily with a heart of fire--the +fairest flower in all this world. And I tell you God cannot afford to +damn a man in the next world who has made a happy family in this. God +cannot afford to cast over the battlements of heaven the man who has +built a happy home here. God cannot afford to be unpitying to a human +heart capable of pity. God cannot clothe with fire the man who has +clothed the naked here; and God cannot send to eternal pain a man who +has done something toward improving the condition of his fellow-man. +If he can, I had rather go to hell than to heaven and keep the company +of such a God. + +They tell me the next terrible thing I do is to take away the hope of +immortality. I do not, I would not, I could not. Immortality was first +dreamed of by human love, and yet the church is going to take human +love out of immortality. We love it; therefore we wish to love. A +loved ones dies, and we wish to meet again, and from the affection of +the human heart grew the great oak of the hope of immortality. And +around that oak has climbed the poisonous vine, superstition. +Theologians, pretenders, soothsayers, parsons, priests, popes, bishops, +have taken all that hope, and they have had the impudence to stand by +the grave and prophesy a future of pain. They have erected their +toll-gates on the highway to the other world, and have collected money +from the poor people on the way, and they have collected it from their +fear. The church did not give us the idea of immortality; the bible +did not give us the idea of immortality. Let me tell you now that the +old testament tells you how you lost immortality; it does not say +another word about another world from the first mistake in Genesis to +the last curse in Malachi. There is not in the old testament one burial +service. + +No man in the old testament stands by the bed and says, "I will meet +them again"--not one word. From the top of Sinai came no hope of +another world. And when we get to the new testament, what do we find +there? Have thy heart counted worthy to obtain that world and the +resurrection of the dead. As though some would be counted unworthy to +obtain the resurrection of the dead. And, in another place: "Seek for +honor, glory, immortality." If you have got it, why seek for it? And +in another place: "God, who alone hath immortality;" and yet they +tell us that we get our ideas of immortality from the bible. I deny +it. If Christ was in fact God, why didn't He plainly say there was +another life? Why didn't He tell us something about it? Why didn't He +turn the tear-stained hope of immortality into the glad knowledge of +another life? Why did He go dumbly to his death, and leave the world +in darkness and in doubt? Why? Because He was a man and didn't know. +I would not destroy the smallest star of human hope, but I deny that we +got our idea of immortality from the bible. It existed long before +Moses existed. We find it symbolized through all Egypt, through all +India. Wherever man has lived, his religion has made another world in +which to meet the lost. It is not born of the bible. The idea of +immortality, like the great sea, has ebbed and flowed in the human +heart, beating with its countless waves against the rocks and sands of +fate and time. It was not born of the bible. It was born of the human +heart, and it will continue to ebb and flow beneath the mists and +clouds of doubt and darkness as long as love kisses the lips of death. +We do not know. We do not prophesy a life of pain. We leave the dead +with nature, the mother of us all, under a seven-hued bow of hope. +Under the seven-hued arch let the dead sleep. "Ah, but you take the +consolation of religion." What consolation has religion for the widow +of the unbeliever, the widow of a good, brave, kind man who lies dead? +What can the orthodox ministers say to relieve the bursting heart of +that woman? What can the orthodox ministers say to relieve the aching +hearts of the little orphans as they kneel by the grave of that father, +if that father didn't happen to be an orthodox Christian? What +consolation have they? I find that when a Christian loses a friend the +tears spring from his eyes as quickly as from the eyes of others. +Their tears are as bitter as ours. Why? The echo of the promises +spoken eighteen hundred years ago is so low, and the sound of the clods +upon the coffin so loud, the promises are so far away, and the dead are +so near. That is the reason. And they find no consolation there. I +say honestly we do not know; we cannot say. We cannot say whether +death is a wall or a door; the beginning or end of a day; the spreading +of pinions too soar or the folding forever of wings; whether it is the +rising or the setting of sun, or an endless life that brings rapture +and love to every one--we do not know; we can not say. + +There is an old fable of Orpheus and Eurydice: Eurydice had been +captured and taken to the infernal regions, and Orpheus went after her, +taking with him his harp and playing as he went; and when he came to +the infernal regions he began to play, and Sysiphus sat down upon the +stone that he had been heaving up the side of the mountain so many +years, and which continually rolled back upon him. Ixion paused upon +his wheel of fire; Tantalus ceased in his vain efforts for water; the +daughters of the Danaidae left off trying to fill their sieves with +water; Pluto smiled, and for the first time in the history of hell the +cheeks of the Furies were wet with tears; monsters relented and they +said, "Eurydice may go with you, but you must not look back." So he +again threaded the caverns, playing as he went, and as he again reached +the light he failed to hear the footsteps of Eurydice, and he looked +back and in a moment she was gone. This old fable gives to us the idea +of the perpetual effort to rescue truth from the churches of monsters. +Some time Orpheus will not look back. Some day Eurydice will reach +the blessed light, and at some time there will fade from the memory of +men the superstition of religion. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on "Blasphemy" + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: There is an old story of a missionary trying to +convert an Indian. The Indian made a little circle in the sand and +said, "That is what the Indian knows." Then he made another circle a +little larger and said, "that is what missionary knows; but outside +there the Indian knows just as much as missionary." + +I am going to talk mostly outside that circle tonight. + +First, what is the origin of the crime known as blasphemy? It is the +belief in a God who is cruel, revengeful, quick tempered and +capricious; a God who punishes the innocent for the guilty; a God who +listens with delight to the shrieks of the tortured and gazes +enraptured on their spurting blood. You must hold this belief before +you can believe in the doctrine of blasphemy. You must believe that +this God loves ceremonies, that this God knows certain men to whom He +has told all His will. It then follows that, if this God loves +ceremonies and has certain men to teach His will and perform these +ceremonies, these men must have a place to live in. This place was +called a temple, and it was sacred. And the pots and pans and kettles +and all in it were sacred too. No one but the priests must touch them. +Then the God wrote a book in which He told His covenants to men, and +gave this book to priests to interpret. While it was sacrilege to +touch with the hands the pots and pans of the temple, it was blasphemy +to doubt or question anything in the book. And then the right to think +was gone, and the right to use the brain that God had given was taken +away, and religion was entrenched behind that citadel called blasphemy. + +God was a kind of juggler. He did not wish man to be impudent or +curious about how He did things. You must sit in audience and watch +the tricks and ask no questions. In front of every fact He has hung +the impenetrable curtain of blasphemy. Now, then, all the little +reason that poor man had is useless. To say anything against the +priest was blasphemy and to say anything against God was blasphemy--to +ask a question was blasphemy. Finally we sank to the level of +fetishism. We began to worship inanimate things. If you will read your +bible you will find that the Jews had a sacred box. In it were the rod +of Aaron and a piece of manna and the tables of stone. To touch this +box was a crime. You remember that one time when a careless Jew thought +the box was going to tip he held it. God killed him. What a warning +to baggage smashers of the present day. + +We find also that God concocted a hair oil and threatened death to any +one who imitated it. And we see that He also made a certain perfume +and it was death to make anything that smelt like it. It seems to me +this is carrying protection too far. It always has been blasphemy to +say "I do not know whether God exists or not." In all Catholic +countries it is blasphemy to doubt the bible, to doubt the sacredness +of the relics. It always has been blasphemy to laugh at a priest, to +ask questions, to investigate the Trinity. In a world of superstition, +reason is blasphemy. In a world of ignorance, facts are blasphemy. In +a world of cruelty, sympathy is a crime, and in a world of lies, truth +is blasphemy. Who are the real blasphemers? Webster offers the +definition; blasphemy is an insult offered to God by attributing to Him +a nature and qualities differing from His real nature and qualities, +and dishonoring Him. A very good definition, if you only know what His +nature and qualities are. But that is not revealed; for, studying Him +through the medium of the bible, we find Him illimitably contradictory. +He commands us not to work on the Sabbath day, because it is holy. Yet +God works himself on the Sabbath day. The sun, moon and stars swing +round in their orbits, and all the creation attributed to this God goes +on as on other days. He says: "Honor thy father and mother," and yet +this God, in the person of Christ, offered honors, and glory, and +happiness a hundred fold to any who would desert their father and +mother for Him. Thou shalt not kill, yet God killed the first-born of +Egypt, and he commanded Joshua to kill all His enemies, not sparing old +or young, man, woman or child, even an unborn child. "Thou shalt not +commit adultery," he says, and yet this God gave the wives of defeated +enemies to His soldiers of Joshua's army. Then again He says, "Thou +shalt not steal." By this command He protected the inanimate property +and the cattle of one man against the hand of another, and yet this God +who said "Thou shalt not steal," established human slavery. The +products of industry were not to be interfered with, but the producer +might be stolen as often as possible. "Thou shalt not bear false +witness against thy neighbor." And yet the God who said this said +also, "I have sent lying spirits unto Ahab." The only commandment He +really kept was, "Thou shalt have none other gods but Me." + +Is it blasphemous to describe this God as malicious? You know that +laughter is a good index of the character of a man. You like and +rejoice with the man whose laugh is free and joyous and full of good +will. You fear and dislike him of the sneering laugh. How does God +laugh? He says, "I will laugh at their calamity and mock at their +misfortune," speaking of some who have sinned. Think of the malice and +malignity of that in an infinite God when speaking of the sufferings He +is going to impose upon His children. You know that it is said of a +Roman emperor that he wrote laws very finely, and posted them so high +on the walls that no one could read them, and then he punished the +people who disobeyed the laws. That is the acme of tyranny: to +provide a punishment for breach of laws the existence of which were +unknown. Now we all know that there is sin against the Holy Ghost +which will not be forgiven in this world nor in the world to come. +Hundreds of thousands of people have been driven to the lunatic asylum +by the thought that they had committed this unpardonable sin. Every +educated minister knows that that part of the bible is an +interpolation, but they all preach it. What that sin against the Holy +Ghost is, is not specified. I say, "Oh, but my good God, tell me what +this sin is." And He answers, "Maybe now asking is the crime. Keep +quiet." So I keep quiet and go about tortured with the fear that I +have committed that sin. Is it blasphemy to describe God as needing +assistance from the Legislature? Calling for the aid of a mob to +enforce His will here, compare that God with a man, even with Henry +Bergh. See what Mr. Bergh has done to awaken pity in our people and +call sympathy to the rescue of suffering animals. And yet our God was a +torturer of dumb brutes. + +It is blasphemy to say that our God sent the famine and dried the +mother's breast from her infant's withered lips? Is it blasphemy to +say that He is the author of the pestilence; that He ordered some of +His children to consume others with fire and sword? Is it blasphemy to +believe what we read in the 109th Psalm? If these things are not +blasphemy, then there is no blasphemy. If there be a God I desire Him +to write in the book of judgment opposite my name that I denied these +lies for Him. + +Let us take another step; let us examine the Presbyterian confession of +faith. If it be possible to commit blasphemy, then I contend that the +Presbyterian creed is most blasphemous, for, according to that, God is +a cruel, unrelenting, revengeful, malignant and utterly unreasonable +tyrant. I propose now to pay a little attention to the creed. First, +it confesses that there is such a thing as a light of nature. It is +sufficient to make man inexcusable, but not sufficient for salvation; +just light enough to lead man to hell. Now imagine a man who will put +a false light on a hilltop to lure a ship to destruction. What would +we say of that man? What can we say of a God who gives this false +light of nature which, if its lessons are followed, results in hell? +That is the Presbyterian God. I don't like Him. Now it occurred to +God that the light of nature was somewhat weak, and He thought He'd +light another burner. Therefore He made His book and gave it to His +servants, the priests, that they might give it to men. It was to be +accepted, not on the authority of Moses, or any other writer, but +because it was the word of God. How do you know it's the word of God? +You're not to take the word of Moses, or David, or Jeremiah, or Isaiah, +or any other man, because the authenticity of their work has nothing to +do with the matter; this creed expressly lets them out. How are you to +know that it is God's word? Because it is God's word. Why is it God's +word? What proof have we that it is God's word? Because it is God's +word. + +Now, then, I find that the next thing in this wonderful confession of +faith of the Presbyterians is the decree of predestination. [Reads the +decree.] I am pleased to assure you that it is not necessary to +understand this. You have only to believe it. You see that by the +decree of God some men and angels are predestinated to heaven and +others to eternal hell, and you observe that their number is so certain +and definite that it can neither be changed nor altered. You are asked +to believe that billions of years ago this God knew the names of all +the men and women whom He was going to save. Had 'em in His book, that +being the only thing except Himself that then existed. He had chosen +the names by the aid of the secret council. The reason they called it +secret was because they knew all about it. + +In making His choice, God was not at all bigoted. He did not choose +John Smith because He foresaw that Smith was to be a Presbyterian, and +was to possess a loving nature, was to be honest and true and noble in +all his ways, doing good himself and encouraging others in the same. +Oh, no! He was quite as likely to pick Brown, in spite of the fact +that He knew long before that Brown would be a wicked wretch. You see +He was just as apt to send Smith to the devil and take Brown to +heaven--and all for "His glory." This God also blinds and hardens--ah! +he's a peculiar God. If sinners persevere, He will blind and harden +and give them over at last to their own wickedness instead of trying to +reclaim and save them. + +Now we come to the comforting doctrine of the total depravity of man, +and this leads us to consider how he came that way. Can any person +read the first chapters of Genesis and believe them unless his logic +was assassinated in the cradle? We read that our first parents were +placed in a pleasant garden; that they were given the full run of the +place and only forbidden to meddle with the orchard; that they were +tempted as God knew they were to be tempted; that they fell as God knew +they would fall, and that for this fall, which He knew would happen +before He made them, He fixed the curse of original sin upon them, to +be continued to all their children. Why didn't He stop right there? +Why didn't He kill Adam and Eve and make another pair who didn't like +apples? Then when He brought His flood why did He rescue eight people +if their descendants were to be so totally depraved and wicked? Why +didn't He have His flood first, and then drown the devil? That would +have solved the problem, and He could then have tried experiments +unmolested. + +The Presbyterian confession says this corruption was in all men. It was +born with them, it lived through their life, and after death survived +in the children. Well, can't man help himself? No, I'll show you, +God's got him. Listen to this. [Reads extracts.] So that a natural +man is not only dead in sin and unable to accomplish salvation, but he +is also incapable of preparing himself therefore. Absolutely incapable +of taking a trick. He is saved, if at all, completely by the mercy of +God. If that's the case, then why doesn't He convert us all? Oh, He +doesn't. He wishes to send the most of us to hell--to show His justice. +Elect infants dying in infancy are regenerate. So also are all persons +incapable of unbelief. That includes insane persons and idiots, +because an idiot is incapable of unbelief. Idiots are the only fellows +who've got the dead wood on God. Then according to this, the man who +has lived according to the light of nature, doing the best he knew how +to make this earth happy, will be damned by God because he never heard +of His son. Whose fault is it that an infinite God does not advertise? +Something wrong about that. I am inclined to think that the +Presbyterian church is wrong. I find here how utterly unpardonable sin +is. There is no sin so small but it is punished with hell, and away +you go straight to the deepest burning pit unless your heart has been +purified by this confession of faith--unless this snake has crawled in +there and made itself a nest. Why should we help religion? I would +like people to ask themselves that question. An infinite God, by +practicing a reasonable economy, can get along without assistance. +Loudly this confession proclaims that salvation comes from Christ +alone. What, then, becomes of the savage who, having never known the +name of Christ, has lived according to the light of nature, kind and +heroic and generous, and possessed of and cultivating all the natural +virtues? He goes to hell. God, you see, loves us. If He had not +loved us what would He have done? The light of nature then shows that +God is good and therefore to be feared--on account of his goodness, to +be served and honored without ceasing. And yet this creed says that on +the last day God will damn anyone who has walked according to this +light. It's blasphemy to walk by the light of nature. + +The next great doctrine is on the preservation of the saints. Now, +there are peculiarities about saints. They are saints without their +own knowledge or free will; they may even be down on saints, but its no +good. God has got a rolling hitch on them, and they have to come into +the kingdom sooner or later. It all depends on whether they have been +elected or not. God could have made me a saint just as easy as not, +but He passed me by. Now you know the Presbyterians say I trample on +holy things. They believe in hell and I come and say there is no hell. +I hurt their hearts, they say, and they add that I am going to hell +myself. I thank them for that; but now let's see what these tender +Presbyterians say of other churches. Here it is: + +This confession of faith calls the pope of Rome anti-Christ and a son +of perdition. Now there are forty Roman Catholics to one Presbyterian +on this earth. Do not the Presbyterians rather trample on the things +that are holy to the Roman Catholics, and do they respect their +feelings? But the Presbyterians have a pope themselves, composed of the +presbyters and preachers. This confession attributes to them the keys +of heaven and hell and the power to forgive sins. [Here extracts are +read.] Therefore these men must be infallible, for God would never be +so foolish as to entrust fallible men with the keys of heaven and hell. +I care nothing for their keys, nor for any world these keys would open +or lock; I prefer the country. + +We are told by this faith that at the last day all the men and women +and children who have ever lived on the earth will appear in the self +same bodies they have had when on earth. Everyone who knows anything +knows the constant exchange which is going on between the vegetable and +animal kingdom. The millions of atoms which compose one of our bodies +have all come from animals and vegetables, and they in their turn drew +them from animals and vegetables which preceded them. The same atoms +which are now in our bodies have previously been in the bodies of our +ancestors. The negro from Central Africa has many times been mahogany +and the mahogany has many times been negro. A missionary goes to the +cannibal islands and a cannibal eats him and dies. The atoms which +composed the missionary's body now compose in great part the cannibal's +body. To whom will these atoms belong on the morning of the +resurrection? + +How did the devil, who had always lived in heaven among the best +society, ever happen to become bad? If a man surrounded by angels +could become bad, why cannot a man surrounded by devils become good? + +Here is the last Presbyterian joy: At the day of judgment the +righteous shall be caught up to heaven and shall stand at the right +hand of Christ and share with Him in judging the wicked. Then the +Presbyterian husband may have the ineffable pleasure of judging his +wife and condemning her to eternal hell, and the boy will say to his +mother, echoing the command of God: "Depart, thou accursed, into +everlasting torment!" Here will come a man who has not believed in +God. He was a soldier who took up arms to free the slaves and who +rotted to death in Andersonville prison rather than accept the offer of +his captors to fight against freedom. He loved his wife and his +children and his Home and his native country and all mankind, and did +all the good he knew. God will say to the Presbyterians, "What shall +We do to this man?"; and they will answer, "Throw him into hell." + +Last night there was a fire in Philadelphia, and at a window fifty feet +above the ground Mr. King stood amid flame and smoke and pressed his +children to his breast one after the other, kissed them, and threw them +to the rescuers with a prayer. That was man. At the last day God +takes His children with a curse and hurls them into eternal fire. +That's your God as the Presbyterians describe Him. Do you believe that +God--if there is one--will ever damn me for thinking Him better than He +is? If this creed be true, God is the insane keeper of a mad house. + +We have in this city a clergyman who contends that this creed gives a +correct picture of God, and furthermore says that God has the right to +do with us what He pleases--because He made us. If I could change this +lamp into a human being, that would not give me the right to torture +him, and if I did torture him and he cried out, "Why torturest thou +me?" and I replied, "Because I made you," he would be right in +replying, "You made me, therefore you are responsible for my +happiness." No God has a right to add to the sum of human misery. And +yet this minister believes an honest thought blasphemy. No doubt he is +perfectly honest. Otherwise he would have too much intellectual pride +to take the position he does. He says that the bible offers the only +restraint to the savage passions of man. In lands where there has been +no bible there have been mild and beneficent philosophers, like Buddha +and Confucius. Is it possible that the bible is the only restraint, +and yet the nations among whom these men lived have been as moral as +we? In Brooklyn and New York you have the bible, yet do you find that +the restraint is a great success? Is there a city on the globe which +lacks more in certain directions than some in Christendom, or even the +United States? What are the natural virtues of man? Honesty, +hospitality, mercy in the hour of victory, generosity--do we not find +these virtues among some savages? Do we find them among all +Christians? I am also told by these gentlemen that the time will come +when the infidel will be silenced by society. Why that time came long +ago. Society gave the hemlock to Socrates, society in Jerusalem cried +out for Barabbas and crucified Jesus. In every Christian country +society has endeavored to crush the infidel. + +Blasphemy is a padlock which hypocrisy tries to put on the lips of all +honest men. At one time Christianity succeeded in silencing the +infidel, and then came the dark ages, when all rule was ecclesiastical, +when the air was filled with devils and spooks, when birth was a +misfortune, life a prolonged misery of fear and torment, and death a +horrible nightmare. They crushed the infidels, Galileo, Kepler, +Copernicus, wherever a ray of light appeared in the ecclesiastical +darkness. But I want to tell this minister tonight, and all others +like him, that that day is passed. All the churches in the United +States can not even crush me. The day for that has gone, never to +return. If they think they can crush free thought in this country, let +them try it. What must this minister think of you and the citizens of +this republic when he says, "Take the fear of hell out of men's hearts +and a majority of them will become ungovernably wicked." Oh, think of +an angel in heaven having to allow that he was scared there. + +This minister calls for my arrest. He thinks his God needs help, and +would like to see the police crush the infidel. I would advise Mr. +Talmage (hisses) to furnish his God with a rattle, so that when he is +in danger again he can summon the police immediately. + +I'll tell you what is blasphemy. It is blasphemy to live on the fruits +of other men's labor, to prevent the growth of the human mind, to +persecute for opinion's sake, to abuse your wife and children, to +increase in any manner the sum of human misery. + +I'll tell you what is sacred. Our bodies are sacred, our rights are +sacred, justice and liberty are sacred. I'll tell you what is the true +bible. It is the sum of all actual knowledge of man, and every man who +discovers a new fact adds a new verse to this bible. It is different +from the other bible, because that is the sum of all that its writers +and readers do not know. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture entitled "Some Reasons Why" + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: The history of the world shows that religion has +made enemies instead of friends. That one word "religion" paints the +horizon of the past with every form of agony and torture, and when one +pronounces the name of "religion" we think of 1,500 years of +persecution, of 6,000 years of hatred, slander and vituperation. +Strange, but true, that those who have loved God most have loved men +least; strange that in countries where there has been the most religion +there has been the most agony; and that is one reason why I am opposed +to what is known as religion. By religion I mean the duties that men +are supposed to owe to God; by religion I mean, not what man owes to +man, but what we owe to some invisible, infinite and supreme being. +The question arises, Can any relation exist between finite man and +infinite being? An infinite being is absolutely conditional. An +infinite being can not walk, cannot receive, and a finite being cannot +give to the infinite. Can I increase his happiness or decrease his +misery? Does he need my strength or my life? What can I do for him? +I say, nothing. + +For one, I do not believe there is any God who gives rain or sunshine +for praying. For one, I do not believe there is any being who helps +man simply because he kneels. I may be mistaken, but that is my +doctrine--that the finite cannot by any possibility help the infinite, +or the infinite be indebted to the finite; that the finite cannot by +any possibility assist a being who is all in all. What can we do? We +can help man; we can help clothe the naked, feed the hungry; we can +help break the chains of the slave; we can help weave a garment of joy +that will finally cover this world. That is all that man can do. +Wherever he has endeavored to do more he has simply increased the +misery of his fellows. I can find out nothing of these things myself +by my unaided reasoning. If there is an infinite God and I have not +reason enough to comprehend His universe, whose fault is it? I am told +that we have the inspired will of God. I do not know exactly what they +mean by inspired. Not two sects agree on that word. Some tell me that +every great work is inspired; that Shakespeare is inspired. I would be +less apt to dispute that than a similar remark about any other book on +this earth. If Jehovah had wanted to have a book written, the +inspiration of which should not be disputed, He should have waited +until Shakespeare lived. + +Whatever they mean by inspiration, they at least mean that it is true. +If it is true, it does not need to be inspired. The truth will take +care of itself. Nothing except a falsehood needs inspiration. What is +inspiration? A man looks at the sea, and the sea says something to +him. Another man looks at the same sea, and the sea tells another story +to him. The sea cannot tell the same story to any two human beings. +There is not a thing in nature, from a pebble to a constellation, that +tells the same story to any two human beings. It depends upon the +man's experience, his intellectual development, and what chord of +memory it touches. One looks upon the sea and is filled with grief; +another looks upon it and laughs. + +Last year, riding in the cars from Boston to Portsmouth, sat opposite +me a lady and gentleman. As we reached the latter place the woman, for +the first time in her life, caught a burst of the sea, and she looked +and said to her husband "Isn't that beautiful!" And he looked and +said: "I'll bet you can dig clams right there." + +Another illustration: A little while ago a gentleman was walking with +another in South Carolina, at Charleston--one who had been upon the +other side. Said the Northerner to the Southerner, "Did you ever see +such a night as this; did you ever in your life see such a moon?" "Oh, +my God," said he, "you ought to have seen that moon before the War!" + +I simply say these things to convince you that everything in nature has +a different story to tell every human being. So the bible tells a +different story to every man that reads it. History proves what I say. +Why so many sects? Why so much persecution? Simply because two people +couldn't understand it exactly alike. You may reply that God intended +it should be so understood, and that is the real revelation that God +intended. + +For instance, I write a letter to Smith. I want to convey to him +certain thoughts. If I am honest I will use the words which will +convey to him my thoughts, but not being infinite, I don't know exactly +how Smith will understand my words; but if I were infinite I would be +bound to use the words that I know Smith would get my exact idea from. +If God intended to make a revelation to me He has to make it to me +through my brain and my reasoning. He cannot make a revelation to +another man for me. That other man will have God's word for it but I +will only have that man's word for it. As that man has been dead for +several thousand years, and as I don't know what his reputation was for +truth and veracity in the neighborhood in which he lived, I will wait +for the Lord to speak again. + +Suppose when I read it, the revelation to me, through the bible, is +that it is not true, and God knew that I would know that when I did +read it, and knew, if I did not say it, I would be dishonest. Is it +possible that He would damn me for being honest, and give me wings if I +would play the hypocrite? + +The inspiration of the bible depends upon the ignorance of the +gentleman who reads it. Yet they tell me this book was written by the +creator of every shining star. Now let us see. I want to be honest +and candid. I have just as much at stake in the way of soul as any +doctor of divinity that ever lived, and more than some I have met. +According to this book, the first attempt at peopling this world was a +failure. God had to destroy all but eight. He saved some of the same +kind to start again, which I think was a mistake. After that, the +people still getting worse, he selected from the wide world a few of +the tribe of Abraham. He had no time to waste with everybody. He had +no time to throw away on Egypt. It had at that time a vast and +splendid civilization, in which there were free schools; in which the +one man married the one wife; where there were courts of law; where +there were codes of laws. + +Neither could He give attention to India, that had at that time a +literature as splendid almost as ours, a language as perfect; that had +produced poets, philosophers, statesmen. He had no time to waste with +them, but took a few of the tribe of Abraham, and He did His best to +civilize these people. He was their governor, their executive, their +supreme court. He established a despotism, and from Mount Sinai He +proclaimed His laws. They didn't pay much attention to them. He +wrought thousands of miracles to convince them that He was God. + +Isn't it perfectly wonderful that the priest of one religion never +believes the miracles told by the priest of another? Is it possible +that they know each other? I heard a story the other day. A gentleman +was telling a very remarkable circumstance that happened to himself, +and all the listeners except one said, "Is it possible; did you ever +hear such a wonderful thing in all your life?" They noticed that this +one man didn't appear to take a vivid interest in the story, so one +said to him, "You don't express much astonishment at the story?" "No," +says he, "I am a liar myself." + +I find by reading this book that a worse government was never +established than that established by Jehovah; that the Jews were the +most unfortunate people who lived upon the globe. Let us compare this +book. In all civilized countries it is not only admitted, but +passionately asserted, that slavery is an infamous crime; that a war of +extermination is murder; that polygamy enslaves woman, degrades man and +destroys home; that nothing is more infamous than the slaughter of +decrepit men and helpless women, and of prattling babes; that the +captured maiden should not be given to her captors; that wives should +not be stoned to death for differing in religion from their husbands. +We know there was a time in the history of most nations when all these +crimes were regarded as divine institutions. Nations entertaining +these views today are called savage, and with the exception of the +Feejee islanders, some tribes in Central Africa, and a few citizens of +Delaware, no human being can be found degraded enough to agree upon +those subjects with Jehovah. + +Today, the fact that a nation has abolished and abandoned those things +is the only evidence that it can offer to show that it is not still +barbarous; but a believer in the inspiration of the bible is compelled +to say there was a time when slavery was right, when polygamy was the +highest form of virtue, when wars of extermination were waged with the +sword of mercy, and when the creator of the whole world commanded the +soldier to sheathe the dagger of murder in the dimpled breast of +infancy. The believer of inspiration of the bible is compelled to say +there was a time when it was right for a husband to murder his wife +because they differed upon subjects of religion. I deny that such a +time ever was. If I knew the real God said it, I would still deny it. + +Four thousand years ago, if the bible is true, God was in favor of +slavery, polygamy, wars of extermination and religious persecution. +Now we are told the devil is in favor of all those things, and God is +opposed to them; in other words, the devil stands now where God stood +4,000 years ago; yet they tell me God is just as good now as he was +then, and the devil just as bad now as God was then. Other nations +believed in slavery, polygamy, and war and persecution without ever +having received one ray of light from heaven. That shows that a +special revelation is not necessary to teach a man to do wrong. Other +nations did no worse without the bible than the Jews did with it. + +Suppose the devil had inspired a book. In what respect would he have +differed from God on the subject of slavery, polygamy, wars of +extermination, and religious persecution? Suppose we knew that after +God had finished his book the devil had gotten possession of it, and +written a few passages to suit himself. Which passages, O Christian, +would you pick out now as having probably been written by the devil? +Which of these two, "Love thy neighbor as thyself," or "Kill all the +males among the little ones, and kill every man, but all the women and +girls keep alive for yourselves"--which of those two passages would +they select as having been written by the devil? + +If God wrote the last, there is no need of a devil. Is there a +Christian in the wide world who does not wish that God, from the +thunder and lightning of Sinai, had said: "You shall not enslave your +fellow-man!" I am opposed to any man who is in favor of slavery. If +revolution is needed at all it is to prevent man enslaving his +fellow-man. + +But they say God did the best He could; that the Jews were so bad that +He had to come up kind of slow. If He had told them suddenly they must +not murder and steal, they would not have paid any respect to the ten +commandments. Suppose you go to the Cannibal Islands to prevent the +gentlemen there from eating missionaries, and you found they ate them +raw. The first move is to induce them to cook them. After you get +them to eat cooked missionaries, you will then, without their knowing +it, occasionally slip in a little mutton. We will go on gradually +decreasing missionaries and increasing mutton until finally the last +will be so cultivated that they will prefer the sheep to the priest, I +think the missionaries would object to that mode, of course. + +I know this was written by the Jews themselves. If they were to write +it now, it would be different. Today they are a civilized people. I +do not wish it understood that a word I say tonight touches the +slightest prejudice in any man's mind against the Jewish people. They +are as good a people as live today. I will say right here, they never +had any luck until Jehovah abandoned them. + +Now we come to the new testament. They tell me that is better than the +old, I say it is worse. The great objection to the old testament is +that it is cruel; but in the old testament the revenge of God stopped +with the portals of the tomb. He never threatened punishment after +death. He never threatened one thing beyond the grave. It was +reserved for the new testament to make known the doctrine of eternal +punishment. + +Is the new testament inspired? I have not time to give many reasons, +but I will give some. In the first place, they tell me the very fact +that the witnesses disagree in minor matters shows that they have not +conspired to tell the same story. Good. And I say in every lawsuit +where four or five witnesses testify, or endeavor to testify, to the +same transaction, it is natural that they should differ on minor +points. Why? Because no two occupy exactly the same position; no two +see exactly alike; no two remember precisely the same, and their +disagreement is due to and accounted for by the imperfection of human +nature, and the fact that they did not all have an equal opportunity to +know. But if you admit or say that the four witnesses were inspired by +an infinite being who did see it all, then they should remember all the +same, because inspiration does not depend on memory. + +That brings me to another point. Why were there four gospels? What is +the use of more than one correct account of anything? If you want to +spread it, send copies. No human being has got the ingenuity to tell +me why there were four gospels, when one correct gospel would have been +enough. Why should there have been four original multiplication +tables? One is enough, and if anybody has got any use for it he can +copy that one. The very fact that we have got four gospels shows that +it is not an inspired book. + +The next point is that, according to the new testament, the salvation +of the world depended upon the atonement. Only one of the books in the +new testament says anything about that, and that is John. The church +followed John, and they ought to follow John, because the church wrote +that book called John. According to that, the whole world was to be +damned on account of the sins of one man; and that absurdity was the +father and mother of another absurdity--that the whole world could be +saved on account of the virtue of another man. I deny both +propositions. No man can sin for me; no man can be virtuous for me; I +must reap what I sow. But they say the law must be satisfied. What +kind of a law is it that would demand punishment of the innocent? Just +think of it. Here is a man about to be hanged, and another comes up +and says: "That man has got a family, and I have not; that man is in +good health and I am not well, and I will be hung in his place." And +the governor says: "All right; a murder has been committed, and we +have got to have a hanging--we don't care who." Under the Mosaic +dispensation there was no remission of sins without the shedding of +blood. If a man committed a murder he brought a pair of doves or a +sheep to the priest, and the priest laid his hands on the animal, and +the sins of the man were transferred to the animal. You see how that +could be done easy enough. Then they killed the animal, and sprinkled +its blood on the altar. That let the man off. And why did God demand +the sacrifice of a sheep? I will tell you; because priests love mutton. + +To make the innocent suffer is the greatest crime. I don't wish to go +to heaven on the virtues of somebody else. If I can't settle by the +books and go, I don't wish to go. I don't want to feel as if I was +there on sufferance--that I was in the poorhouse of the universe, +supported by the town. + +They tell us Judas betrayed Christ. Well, if Christ had not been +betrayed, no atonement would have been made, and then every human soul +would have been damned, and heaven would have been for rent. + +Supposing that Judas knew the Christian system, then perhaps he thought +that by betraying Christ he could get forgiven, not only for the sins +that he had already committed but for the sin of betrayal, and if, on +the way to Calvary, and later, some brave, heroic soul had rescued +Christ from the mob, he would have made his own damnation sure. It +won't do. There is no logic in that. + +They say God tried to civilize the Jews. If He had succeeded, +according to the Christian system, we all would have been damned, +because if the Jews had been civilized they would not have crucified +Christ. They would have believed in the freedom of speech, and as a +result the world would have been lost for two thousand years. The +Christian world has been trying to explain the atonement, and they have +always ended by failing to explain it. + +Now I come to the second objection, which is that certain belief is +necessary to salvation. I will believe according to the evidence. In +my mind are certain scales, which weigh everything, and my integrity +stands there and knows which side goes up and which side goes down. If +I am an honest man I will report the weights like an honest man. They +say I must believe a certain thing or I will be eternally damned. They +tell me that to believe is the safer way. I deny it. The safest thing +you can do is to be honest. No man, when the shadows of the last hours +were gathering around him, ever wished that he had lived the life of a +hypocrite. If I find at the Day of Judgment that I have been mistaken, +I will say so, like a man. If God tells me then that he is the author +of the old testament I will admit that he is worse than I thought He +was, and when He comes to pronounce sentence upon me, I will say to +Him: "Do unto others as You would that others should do unto You." I +have a right to think; I cannot control my belief; my brain is my +castle, and if I don't defend it, my soul becomes a slave and a serf. + +If you throw away your reason, your soul is not worth saving. Salvation +depends, not upon belief but upon deed--upon kindness, upon justice, +upon mercy. Your own deeds are your savior, and you can be saved in no +other way. I am told in this testament to love my enemies. I cannot; +I will not. I don't hate enemies; I don't wish to injure enemies, but +I don't care about seeing them. I don't like them. I love my friends, +and the man who loves enemies and friends loves me. The doctrine of +non-resistance is born of weakness. The man that first said it, said +it because it was the best he could do under the circumstances. While +the church said, "love your enemies," in her sacred vestments gleamed +the daggers of assassination. With her cunning hand, she wore the +purple for hypocrisy, and placed the crown upon the brow of crime. + +For more than one thousand years larceny held the scales of justice, +and hypocrisy wore the mitre, and the tiara of Christ was in fact God. +He knew of the future. He knew what crimes and horrors would be +committed in His name. He knew the fires of persecution would climb +around the limbs of countless martyrs; that brave men and women would +languish in dungeons and darkness; that the church would use +instruments of torture; that in His name His followers would trade in +human flesh; that cradles would be robbed and women's breasts unbabed +for gold, and yet He died with voiceless lips. If Christ was God, why +did He not tell His disciples, and through them, the world, "Man shall +not persecute his fellow-man?" Why didn't He say, "I am God?" Why +didn't He explain the doctrine of the Trinity? Why didn't He tell what +manner of baptism was pleasing to Him? Why didn't He say the old +testament is true? Why didn't He write His testament himself? Why did +He leave His words to accident, to ignorance, to malice, and to chance? +Why didn't He say something positive, definite, satisfactory, about +another world? Why did He not turn the tear-stained hope of +immortality to the glad knowledge of another life? Why did he go +dumbly to His death, leaving the world to misery and to doubt? Because +He was a man. + +[Colonel Ingersoll read several extracts from the bible, which he said +originated with Zoroaster, Buddha, Cicero, Epictetus, Pythagoras and +other ancient writers, and he read extracts from various pagan writers, +which he claimed compared favorably with the best things in the bible. +He continued:] + +No God has a right to create a man who is to be eternally damned. +Infinite wisdom has no right to make a failure, and a man who is to be +eternally damned is not a conspicuous success. Infinite Wisdom has no +right to make an instrument that will not finally pay a dividend. No +God has a right to add to the agony of this universe, and yet around +the angels of immortality Christianity has coiled this serpent of +eternal pain. Upon love's breast the church has placed that asp, and +yet people talk to me about the consolations of religion. + +A few days ago the bark Tiger was found upon the wide sea 126 days from +Liverpool. For nine days not a mouthful of food or a drop of water was +to be had. There was on board the captain, mate, and eleven men. When +they had been out 117 days they killed the captain's dog. Nine days +more--no food, no water, and Captain Kruger stood upon the deck in the +presence of his starving crew. With a revolver in his hand, put it +upon his temple, and said, "Boys, this can't last much longer; I am +willing to die to save the rest of you." The mate grasped the revolver +from his hand, and said, "Wait;" and the next day upon the horizon of +despair was the smoke of the ship which rescued them. Do you tell me +tonight if Captain Kruger was not a Christian and he had sent that ball +crashing through his generous brain that there was an Almighty waiting +to clutch his naked soul that He might damn him forever? It won't do. + +Ah, but they tell me "You have no right to pick the bad things out of +the bible." I say, an infinite God has no right to put bad things into +His bible. Does anybody believe if God was going to write a book now +He would uphold slavery; that He would favor polygamy; that He would +say kill the heathen, stab the women, dash out the brains of the +children? We have civilized him. We make our own God, and we make Him +better day by day. + +Some honest people really believe that in some wonderful way we are +indebted to Moses for geology, to Joshua for astronomy and military +tactics, to Samson for weapons of war, to Daniel for holy curses, to +Solomon for the art of cross-examination, to Jonah for the science of +navigation, to Saint Paul for steamships and locomotives, to the four +Gospels for telegraphs and sewing-machines, to the Apocalypse; for +looms, saw-mills, and telephones; and that to the sermon on the mount +we are indebted for mortars and Krupp guns. We are told that no nation +has ever been civilized without a bible. The Jews had one, and yet +they crucified a perfectly innocent man. They couldn't have done much +worse without a bible. + +God must have known 6,000 years ago that it was impossible to civilize +people without a bible just as well as they know it now. Why did He +ever allow a nation to be Without a bible? Why didn't He give a few +leaves to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? Take from the bible the +miracles, and I admit that the good passages are true. If they are +true they don't need to be inspired. Miracles are the children of +mendacity. Nothing can be more wonderful than the majestic, sublime, +and eternal march of cause and effect. Reason must be the final +arbiter. An inspired book cannot stand against a demonstrated fact. +Is a man to be rewarded eternally for believing without evidence or +against evidence? Do you tell me that the less brain a man has the +better chance he has for heaven? Think of a heaven filled with men who +never thought. Better that all that is should cease to be; better that +God had never been; better that all the springs and seeds of things +should fall and wither in great nature's realm; better that causes and +effects should lose relation; better that every life should change to +breathless death and voiceless blank, and every star to blind oblivion +and moveless naught, than that this religion should be true. + +The religion of the future is humanity. The religion of the future +will say to every man, "You have the right to think and investigate for +yourself." Liberty is my religion--everything that is true, every good +thought, every beautiful thing, every self-denying action--all these +make my bible. Every bubble, every star, are passages in my bible. A +constellation is a chapter. Every shining world is a part of it. You +cannot interpolate it; you cannot change it. It is the same forever. +My bible is all that speaks to man. Every violet, every blade of +grass, every tree, every mountain crowned with snow, every star that +shines, every throb of love, every honest act, all that is good and +true combined, make my bible; and upon that book I stand. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Intellectual Development + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: In the first place I want to admit that there +are a great many good people, quite pious people, who don't agree with +me and all that proves in the world is, that I don't agree with them. +I am not endeavoring to force my ideas or notions upon other people, +but I am saying what little I can to induce everybody in the world to +grant to every other person every right he claims for himself. I +claim, standing under the flag of nature, under the blue and the stars, +that I am the peer of any other man, and have the right to think and +express my thoughts. I claim that in the presence of the unknown, and +upon a subject that nobody knows anything about, and never did, I have +as good a right to guess as anybody else. The gentlemen who hold views +against mine, if they had any evidence, would have no fears--not the +slightest. + +If a man has a diamond that has been examined by the lapidaries of the +world, and some ignorant stonecutter tells him that it is nothing but +an ordinary rock, he laughs at him; but if it has not been examined by +lapidaries, and he is a little suspicious himself that it is not +genuine, it makes him mad. Any doctrine that will not bear +investigation is not a fit tenant for the mind of an honest man. Any +man who is afraid to have his doctrine investigated is not only a +coward but a hypocrite. Now, all I ask is simply an opportunity to say +my say. I will give that right to everybody else in the world. I +understand that owing to my success in the lecture field several +clergymen have taken it into their heads to lecture--some of them, I +believe, this evening. I say all that I claim is the right I give to +others, and any man who will not give that right is a dishonest man, no +matter what church he may belong to or not belong to--if he does not +freely accord to all others the right to think, he is not an honest +man. I said some time ago that if there was any being who would +eternally damn one of his children for the expression of an honest +opinion that he was not a God, but that he was a demon; and from that +they have said first, that I did not believe in any God, and, secondly, +that I called Him a demon. If I did not believe in Him how could I +call Him anything? These things hardly hang together. But that makes +no difference; I expect to be maligned; I expect to be slandered; I +expect to have my reputation blackened by gentlemen who are not fit to +blacken my shoes. + +But letting that pass--I simply believe in liberty; that is my +religion; that is the altar where I worship; that is my shrine--that +every human being shall have every right that I have--that is my +religion. I am going to live up to it and going to say what little I +can to make the American people brave enough and generous enough and +kind enough to give everybody else the rights they have themselves. +Can there ever be any progress in this world to amount to anything +until we have liberty? The thoughts of a man who is not free are not +worth much. A man who thinks with the club of a creed above his head--a +man who thinks casting his eye askance at the flames of hell, is not +apt to have very good thoughts. And for my part, I would not care to +have any status or social position even in heaven if I had to admit +that I never would have been there only I got scared. When we are +frightened we do not think very well. If you want to get at the honest +thoughts of a man he must be free. If he is not free you will not get +his honest thought. You won't trade with a merchant, if he is free; you +won't employ him if he is a lawyer, if he is free; you won't call him +if he is a doctor, if he is free; and what are you going to get out of +him but hypocrisy. Force will not make thinkers, but hypocrites. A +minister told me awhile ago, "Ingersoll," he says, "if you do not +believe the bible you ought not to say so." Says I, "Do you believe +the bible?" He says, "I do." I says, "I don't know whether you do or +not; maybe you are following the advice you gave me; how shall I know +whether you believe it or not?" Now, I shall die without knowing +whether that man believed the bible or not. There is no way that I can +possibly find out, because he said that even if he did not believe it +he would not say so. Now, I read, for instance, a book. Now, let us +be honest. Suppose that a clergyman and I were on an island--nobody +but us two--and I were to read a book, and I honestly believed it +untrue, and he asked me about it--what ought I to say? Ought I to say +I believed it, and be lying, or ought I to say I did not?--that is the +question; and the church can take its choice between honest men, who +differ, and hypocrites, who differ, but say they do not--you can have +your choice, all of you.* + +[* "These black-coats are the only persons of my acquaintance who +resemble the chameleon, in being able to keep one eye directed upwards +to heaven, and the other downwards to the good things of this +world."--Alex. von Humboldt] + +If you give to us liberty, you will have in this country a splendid +diversity of individuality; but if on the contrary you say men shall +think so and so, you will have the sameness of stupid nonsense. In my +judgment, it is the duty of every man to think and express his +thoughts; but at the same time do not make martyrs of yourselves. + +Those people that are not willing you should be honest, are not worth +dying for; they are not worth being a martyr for; and if you are afraid +you cannot support your wife and children in this town and express your +honest thought, why keep it to yourself, but if there is such a man +here he is a living certificate of the meanness of the community in +which he lives. Go right along, if you are afraid it will take food +from the mouths of your dear babes--if you are afraid you cannot clothe +your wife and children, go along with them to church, say amen in as +near the right place as you can, if you happen to be awake, and I will +do your talking for you. + +I will say my say, and the time will come when every man in the country +will be astonished that there ever was a time that everybody had not +the right to speak his honest thoughts. If there is a man here or in +this town, preacher or otherwise, who is not willing that I should +think and speak, he is just so much nearer a barbarian than I am. +Civilization is liberty, slavery is barbarism; civilization is +intelligence, slavery is ignorance; and if we are any nearer free than +were our fathers, it is because we have got better heads and more +brains in them--that is the reason. Every man who has invented +anything for the use and convenience of man has helped raise his +fellow-man, and all we have found out of the laws and forces of nature +so that we are finally enabled to bring these forces of nature into +subjection, to give us better houses, better food, better +clothes--these are the real civilizers of our race; and the men who +stand up as prophets and predict hell to their fellow-man, they are not +the civilizers of our race; the men who cut each other's throats +because they fell out about baptism--they are not the civilizers of my +race; the men who built the inquisitions and put into dungeons all the +grand and honest men they could find--they are not the civilizers of my +race. + +The men who have corrupted the imaginations and hearts of men by their +infamous dogma of hell--they are not the civilizers of my race. The +men who have been predicting good for mankind, the men who have found +some way to get us better homes and better houses and better education, +the men who have allowed us to make slaves of the blind forces of +nature--they have made this world fit to live in. + +I want to prove to you if I can that this is all a question of +intellectual development, a question of sense, and the more a man knows +the more liberal he is; the less a man knows the more bigoted he is. +The less a man knows the more certain he is that he knows it, and the +more a man knows the better satisfied he is that he is entirely +ignorant. Great knowledge is philosophic, and little, narrow, +contemptible knowledge is bigoted and hateful. I want to prove it to +you. I saw a little while ago models of nearly everything man has made +for his use--nearly everything. I saw models of all the watercraft; +from the rude dug-out, in which paddled the naked savage, with his +forehead about half as high as his teeth were long--all the water craft +from that dug-out up to a man of war that carries a hundred guns and +miles of canvas; from that rude dug-out to a steamship that turns its +brave prow from the port of New York, with three thousand miles of +foaming billows before it, not missing a throb or beat of its mighty +iron heart from one shore to the other. I saw their ideas of weapons, +from the rude club, such as was seized by that same barbarian as he +emerged from his den in the morning, hunting a snake for his dinner; +from that club to the boomerang, to the dagger, to the sword, to the +blunderbuss, to the old flintlock, to the cap-lock, to the needle-gun, +to the cannon invented by Krupp, capable of hurling a ball weighing two +thousand pounds through eighteen inches of solid steel. + +I saw their ideas of defensive armor, from the turtle shell which one +of these gentlemen lashed upon his breast preparatory to going to war, +or the skin of a porcupine, dried with the quills on, that he pulled on +his orthodox head before he sallied forth. By "orthodox" I mean man who +has quit growing; not simply in religion, but it everything; whenever a +man is done, he is orthodox whenever he thinks he has found out all, he +is orthodox whenever he becomes a drag on the swift car of progress, he +is orthodox. I saw their defensive armor, from the turtle-shell and +the porcupine skin to the shirts of mail of the middle ages, that +defied the edge of the sword and the point of the spear. I saw their +ideas of agricultural implements, from the crooked stick that was +attached to the horn of an ox by some twisted straw, to the +agricultural implements of today, that make it possible for a man to +cultivate the soil without being an ignoramus. When they had none of +these agricultural implements--when they depended upon one crop--they +were superstitious, for if the frosts struck one crop they thought the +gods were angry with them. + +Now, with the implements, machinery and knowledge of mechanics of +today, people have found out that no man can be good enough nor bad +enough to cause a frost. After having found out these things are +contrary to the laws of nature, they began to raise more than one kind +of crop. If the frost strikes one they have the other; if it happens +to strike all in that locality there is a surplus somewhere else, and +that surplus is distributed by railways and steamers and by the +thousand ways that we have to distribute these things; and as a +consequence the agriculturist begins to think and reason, and now for +the first time in the history of the world the agriculturist begins to +stand upon a level with the mechanic and with the man who has +confidence in the laws and facts of nature. + +I saw there their musical instruments, from the tomtom (that is a hoop +with two strings of rawhide drawn across it) to the instruments we have +that make the common air blossom with melody. I saw their ideas on +ornaments, from a string of the claws of a wild beast that once +ornamented the dusky bosom of some savage belle, to the rubies and +sapphires and diamonds with which civilization today is familiar. I +saw the books, written upon the shoulder-blades of sheep, upon the bark +of trees, down to the illustrated volumes that are now in the libraries +of the world. I saw their ideas of paintings, from the rude daubs of +yellow mud, to the grand pictures we see in the art galleries of today. +I saw their ideas of sculpture, from a monster god with several legs, a +good many noses, a great many eyes, and one little, contemptible, +brainless head, to the sculpture that we have, where the marble is +clothed with such personality that it seems almost impudence to touch +it without an introduction. I saw all these things, and how men had +gradually improved through the generations that are dead. And I saw at +the same time a row of men's skulls--skulls from the Bushmen of +Australia, skulls from the center of Africa, skulls from the farthest +islands of the Pacific, skulls from this country--from the aborigines +of America, skulls of the Aztecs, up to the best skulls, or many of the +best of the last generation; and I noticed there was the same +difference between the skulls as between the products of the skulls, +the same between that skull and that, as between the dugout and the +man-of-war, as between the dugout and the steamship, as between the +tomtom and an opera of Verdi, as between those ancient agricultural +implements and ours, as between that yellow daub and that landscape, as +between that stone god and a statue of today; and I said to myself, +"This is a question of intellectual development; this is a question of +brain." The man has advanced just in proportion as he has mingled his +thoughts with his labor, and just in proportion that his brain has +gotten into partnership with his hand. Man has advanced just as he has +developed intellectually, and no other way. That skull was a low den +in which crawled and groped the meaner and baser instincts of mankind, +and this was a temple in which dwelt love, liberty and joy. + +Why is it that we have advanced in the arts? It is because every +incentive has been held out to the world; because we want better clubs +or better cannons with which to kill our fellow Christians; we want +better music, we want better houses, and any man who will invent them, +and any man who will give them to us we will clothe him in gold and +glory; we will crown him with honor. That gentleman in his dugout not +only had his ideas of mechanics, but he was a politician. His idea of +politics was, "Might makes right;" and it will take thousands of years +before the world will be willing to say that, "Right makes might." That +was his idea of politics, and he had another idea--that all power came +from the clouds, and that every armed thief that lived upon the honest +labor of mankind had had poured out upon his head the divine oil of +authority. He didn't believe the power to govern came from the people; +he did not believe that the great mass of people had any right +whatever, or that the great mass of people could be allowed the liberty +of thought--and we have thousands of such today. + +They say thought is dangerous--don't investigate;* don't inquire; just +believe; shut your eyes, and then you are safe. You trust not hear this +man or that man or some other man, or our dear doctrines will be +overturned, and we have nobody on our side except a large majority; we +have nobody on our side except the wealth and respectability of the +world; we have nobody on our side except the infinite God, and we are +afraid that one man, in one or two hours, will beat the whole party. + +[* There is no method of reasoning more common, or more blamable, than +in philosophical disputes, to endeavor the refutation of any +hypothesis, by a pretense of its dangerous consequences to religion and +morality."--David Hume] + +This man in the dugout also had his ideas of religion--that fellow was +orthodox, and any man who differed with him he called an infidel, an +atheist, an outcast, and warned everybody against him. He had his +religion--he believed in hell; he was glad of it; he enjoyed it; it was +a great source of comfort to him to think when he didn't like people +that he would have the pleasure of looking over and seeing them squirm +upon the gridiron. When any man said he didn't believe there was a +hell this gentleman got up in his pulpit and called him a hyena. That +fellow believed in a devil too; that lowest skull was a devil +factory--he believed in him. He believed he had a long tail adorned +with a fiery dart; he believed he had wings like a bat, and had a +pleasant habit of breathing sulphur; and he believed he had a cloven +foot--such as most of your clergymen think I am blessed with myself. +They are shepherds of the sheep. The people are the sheep--that is all +they are, they have to be watched and guarded by these shepherds and +protected from the wolf who wants to reason with them. That is the +doctrine. Now, all I claim is the same right to improve on that +gentleman's politics, as on the dug-out, and the same right to improve +upon his religion as upon his plough, or the musical instrument known +as the tomtom--that is all. + +Now, suppose the king and priest, if there was one, and there probably +was one, as the farther you go back the more ignorant you find mankind +and the thicker you find these gentlemen--suppose the king and priest +had said: "That boat is the best boat that ever can be built; we got +the model of that from Neptune, the god of the seas, and I guess the +god of the water knows how to build a boat, and any man that says he +can improve it by putting a stick in the middle with a rag on the end +of it, and has any talk about the wind blowing this way, and that, he +is a heretic--he is a blasphemer." Honor bright, what, in your +judgment, would have been the effect upon the circumnavigation of the +globe? I think we would have been on the other side yet. Suppose the +king and priests had said: "That plow is the best that ever can be +invented; the model of that was given to a pious farmer in a holy +dream, and that twisted straw is the ne plus ultra of all twisted +things, and any man who says he can out-twist it, we will twist him." +Suppose the king and priests had said: "That tomtom is the finest +instrument of music in the world--that is the kind of music found in +heaven. An angel sat upon the edge of a glorified cloud playing upon +that tomtom and became so entranced with the music that in a kind of +ecstasy she dropped it and that is how we got it, and any man who talks +about putting any improvement on that, he is not fit to live." Let me +ask you--do you believe if that had been done that the human ears ever +would have been enriched with the divine symphonies of Beethoven? + +All I claim is the same right to improve upon this barbarian's ideas of +politics and religion as upon everything else, and whether it is an +improvement or not, I have a right to suggest it--that is my doctrine. +They say to me, "God will punish you forever, if you do these things." +Very well. I will settle with Him. I had rather settle with Him than +any one of His agents. I do not like them very well. In theology I am +a granger--I do not believe in middle-men, what little business I have +with heaven I will attend to thyself. Our fathers thought, just as +many now think, that you could force men to think your way and if they +failed to do it by reason, they tried it another way. I used to read +about it when I was a boy--it did not seem to me that these things were +true; it did not seem to me that there ever was such heartless bigotry +in the heart of man, but there was and is tonight. I used to read +about it--I did not appreciate it. I never appreciated it until I saw +the arguments of those gentlemen. They used to use just such arguments +as that man in the dug-out would have used to the next man ahead of +him. This low, miserable skull--this next man was a little higher, and +this fellow behind called him a heretic, and the next was still a +little higher, and he was called an infidel. And, so it went on +through the whole row--always calling the man who was ahead an infidel +and a heretic. No man was ever called so who was behind the army of +progress. It has always been the man ahead that has been called the +heretic. Heresy is the last and best thought always. Heresy extends +the hospitality of the brain to a new idea; that is what the rotting +says to the growing; that is what the dweller in the swamp says to the +man on the sun-lit hill; that is what the man in the darkness cries out +to the grand man upon whose forehead is shining the dawn of a grander +day; that is what the coffin says to the cradle. Orthodoxy is a kind +of shroud, and heresy is a banner--orthodoxy is a frog and heresy a +star shining forever above the cradle of truth. I do not mean simply +in religion, I mean in everything, and the idea I wish to impress upon +you is that you should keep your minds open to all the influences of +nature; you should keep your minds open to reason. Hear what a man has +to say, and do not let the turtle-shell of bigotry grow above your +brain. Give everybody a chance and an opportunity; that is all. + +I saw the arguments that those gentlemen have used on each other +through all the ages. I saw a little bit of thumbscrew not more than +so long (illustrating), and attached to each end was a screw, and the +inner surface vas trimmed with little protuberances to prevent their +slipping; and when some man doubted--when a man had an idea--then those +that did not have an idea put the thumbscrew upon him who did. He had +doubted something. For instance, they told him, "Christ says you must +love your enemies;" he says, "I do not know about that;" then they +said, "We will show you!" "Do unto others as you would be done by," +they said is the doctrine. He doubted. "We will show you that it is!" +So they put this screw on; and in the name of universal love and +universal forgiveness--"pray for those who despitefully use you"--they +began screwing these pieces of iron into him--always done in the name +of religion--always. It never was done in the name of reason, never was +done in the name of science--never. No man was ever persecuted in +defense of a truth--never. No man was ever persecuted except in defense +of a lie--never. + +This man had fallen out with them about something; he did not +understand it as they did. For instance he said, "I do not believe +there ever was a man whose strength was in his hair." They said: "You +don't? We'll show you!" "I do not believe," he says, "that a fish +ever swallowed a man to save his life." "You don't? Well, we'll show +you!" And so they put this on, and generally the man would recant and +say, "Well, I'll take it back." Well I think I should. Such men are +not worth dying for. The idea of dying for a man that would tear the +flesh of another on account of an honest difference of opinion--such a +man is not worth dying for; he is not worth living for, and if I was in +a position that I could not send a bullet through his brain, I would +recant. I would say: "You write it down and I will sign it--I will +admit that there is one God, or a million--suit yourself; one hell or a +billion; you just write it--only stop this screw. You are not worth +suffering for, you are not worth dying for and I am never going to take +the part of any Lord that won't take my part--you just write it down +and I'll sign it." + +But there was now and then a man who would not do that. He said, "No, +I believe I am right, and I will die for it," and I suppose we owe what +little progress we have made to a few men in all ages of the world who +really stood by their convictions. The men who stood by the truth and +the men who stood by a fact, they are the men that have helped raise +this world, and in every age there has been some sublime and tender +soul who was true to his convictions, and who really lived to make men +better. In every age some men carried the torch of progress and handed +it to some other, and it has been carried through all the dark ages of +barbarism, and had it not been for such men we would have been naked +and uncivilized tonight, with pictures of wild beasts tattooed on our +skins, dancing around some dried snake fetish. + +When a man would not recant, these men, in the name of the love of the +Lord, screwed them down to the last thread of agony and threw them into +some dungeon, where, in the throbbing silence of darkness, they +suffered the pangs of the fabled damned; and this was done in the name +of civilization, love and order, and in the name of the most merciful +Christ. There are no thumbscrews now; they are rusting away; but every +man in this town who is not willing that another shall do his own +thinking and will try to prevent it, has in him the same hellish spirit +that made and used that very instrument of torture, and the only reason +he does not use it today is because he cannot. The reason that I speak +here tonight is because they cannot help it. + +I saw at the same time a beautiful little instrument for the +propagation of kindness, called "The Scavenger's Daughter." (The +lecturer here described and illustrated construction of the +instrument.) The victim would be thrown upon that instrument and the +strain upon the muscles was such that insanity would sometimes come to +his relief. See what we owe to the civilizing influence of the +gentlemen who have made a certain idea in metaphysics necessary to +salvation--see what we owe to them. + +I saw a collar of torture which they put about the neck of their +victim, and inside of that there were a hundred points; so that the +victim could not stir without the skin being punctured with these +points, and after a little while the throat would swell and suffocation +would end the agony, and they would have that done in the presence of +his wife and weeping children. That was all done so that finally +everybody would love everybody else as his brother. I saw a rack. +Imagine a wagon with a windlass on each end, and each windlass armed +with leather bands, and a ratchet that prevented slipping. The victim +was placed upon this. + +Maybe he had denied something that some idiot said was true; may be he +had a discussion--a division of opinion with a man, like John Calvin. +John Calvin said Christ was the Eternal Son of God and Michael Servetus +said that Christ was the son of the Eternal God. That was the only +difference of opinion. Think of it! What an important thing it was! +How it would have affected the price of food! "Christ is the Eternal +Son of God," said one; "No," said the other, "Christ is the Son of +Eternal God"--that was all, and for that difference of opinion Michael +Servetus was burned at a slow fire of green wood, and the wind +happening to blow the flames from him instead of towards him; he was in +the most terrible agony, writhing for minutes and minutes, and hours +and hours, and finally he begged and implored those wretches to move +him so that the wind would blow the flames against him and destroy him +without such hellish agony, but they were so filled with the doctrine +of "love your enemies" that they would not do it. I never will, for my +part, depend upon any religion that has ever shed a drop of human +blood.* + +[* Speaking of the Inquisition, Prof. Draper says: "With such savage +alacrity did it carry out its object of protecting the interests of +religion, that between 1480 and 1808 it had punished 340,000 persons, +and of these nearly 32,000 had been burnt!"--Conflict between Religion +and Science] + +Upon this rack I have described, this victim was placed, and those +chains were attached to his ankles and then to his waist, and +clergymen--good men! pious men! men that were shocked at the immorality +of their day! They talked about playing cards and the horrible crime +of dancing! Oh, how such things shocked them; men going to theaters and +seeing a play written by the grandest genius the world ever has +produced. How it shocked their sublime and tender souls! But then +commenced turning this machine, and they kept on turning until the +ankles, knees, hips, elbows, shoulders and wrists were all dislocated +and the victim was red with the sweat of agony, and they had standing +by a physician to feel the pulse, so that the last faint flutter of +life would not leave his veins. Did they wish to save his life? Yes. +In mercy? No! Simply that they might have the pleasure of racking him +once again. That is the spirit, and it is a spirit born of the +doctrine that there is upon the throne of the universe a being who will +eternally damn his children, and they said: "If God is going to have +the supreme happiness of burning them forever, certainly he ought not +to begrudge to us the joy of burning them for an hour or two." That +was their doctrine, and when I read these things it seems to me that I +have suffered them myself. When I look upon those instruments I look +upon them as though I had suffered all these tortures myself. It seems +to me as though I had stood upon the shore an exile and looking with +tear-filled eyes toward home and native land. It seems as though my +nails had been plucked out and into bleeding flesh needles had been +thrust; as though my eyelids had been torn away and I had been set out +in the ardent rays of the sun; as though I had been set out upon the +sands of the sea and drowned by the inexorable tide; as though I had +been in the dungeon waiting for the coming footsteps of relief; as +though I had been upon the scaffold arid seen the glittering axe +falling upon me; and seen bending above me the white faces of hypocrite +priests; as though I had been taken from my wife and children to the +public square, where faggots had been piled around me and the flames +had climbed around my limbs and scorched my eyes to blindness; as +though my ashes had been scattered by all the hands of hatred; and I +feel like saying, that while I live I will do what little I can to +preserve and augment the rights of men, women arid children; while I +live I will do a little something so that they who come after me shall +have the right to think and express that thought. The trouble is those +who oppose us pretend they are better than we are. They are more +mortal, they are kinder, they are more generous. I deny it. They are +not. And if they are the ones that are to be saved in another world, +and if those who simply think they are honest, and express that honest +thought, are to be damned, there will be but little originality, to say +the least of it, in heaven. They say they are better than we are--and +to show you how much better they are I have got at home copies of some +letters that passed between gentlemen high in the church several +hundred years ago, and the question was this: "Ought we to cut out the +tongues of blasphemers before we burn them?" And they finally decided +that they ought to do so, and I will tell you the reason they gave: +They said if they were not cut out that while they were being burned, +they might, by their heresies, scandalize the gentleman who would bring +the wood; they were too good to hear these things and they might be +injured; and the same idea appears to prevail in this world now that +they are too good and they must not be shocked. + +They say to us: "You must not shock us, and when you say there is no +hell we are shocked. You must not say that." When I go to church and +they tell me there is a hell I must not get shocked; and if they tell +me that there is not only a hell, but that I am going to it, I must not +be shocked. Even if they take the next step and act as though they +would be glad to see me there, still I must not be shocked. I will +agree to keep from being shocked as long as anybody in the world--they +can say what they please; I will not get shocked, but let me say it. +You send missionaries to Turkey and tell them that the Koran is a lie. +You shock them. You tell them that Mahomet was not a prophet. You +shock them. It is too bad to shock them. You go to India and you tell +them that Vishnu was nothing, Puranas was nothing, that Buddha was +nobody, and your Brahma, he is nothing. Why do you shock these people? +You should not do that; you ought not to hurt their feelings. I tell +you no man on earth has a right to be shocked at the expression of an +honest opinion when it is kindly done, and I don't believe there is any +God in the universe who has put a curtain over the fact and made it a +crime for the honest hand of investigation to endeavor to draw that +curtain. + +This world has not been fit to live in fifty years. There is no +liberty in it--very little. Why, it is only a few years ago that all +the Christian nations were engaged in the slave trade. It was not until +1808, that England abolished the slave trade, and up to that time her +priests in her churches, and her judges on her benches, owned stock in +slave ships, and luxuriated on the profits of piracy and murder; and +when a man stood up and denounced it, they mobbed him as though he had +been a common burglar or a horse thief. Think of it! It was not until +the 28th day of August, 1833, that England abolished slavery in her +colonies; and it was not until the first day of January, 1863, that +Abraham Lincoln, by direction of the entire North, wiped that infamy +out of this country; and I never speak of Abraham Lincoln but I want to +say that he was, in my judgment, in many respects the grandest man ever +president of the United States. I say that upon his tomb there ought +to be this line--and I know of no other man deserving it so well as he: +"Here lies one who, having been clothed with almost absolute power, +never abused it except on the side of mercy." + +Just think of it! Our churches and best people, as they call +themselves, defending the institution of slavery. When I was a little +boy I used to see steamers go down the Mississippi river with hundreds +of men and women chained hand to hand, and even children, and men +standing about them with whips in their hands and pistols in their +pockets in the name of liberty, in the name of civilization and in the +name of religion! I used to hear them preach to these slaves in the +South and the only text they ever took was "Servants, be obedient unto +your masters." That was the salutation of the most merciful God to a +man whose back was bleeding, that was the salutation of the most +merciful God to the slave mother bending over an empty cradle, to the +woman from whose breast a child had been stolen--"Servants, be obedient +unto you masters." That was what they said to a man running for his +life and for his liberty through tangled swamps and listening to the +baying of bloodhounds, and when he listened for them the voice came +from heaven: "Servants, be obedient unto your masters." + +That is civilization. Think what slaves we have been! Think how we +have crouched and cringed before wealth even! How they used to cringe +in old times before a man who was rich--there are so many of them gone +into bankruptcy lately that we are losing a little of our fear. + +We used to worship the golden calf, and the worst you can say of us +now, is, we worship the gold of the calf, and even the calves are +beginning to see this distinction. We used to go down on our knees to +every man that held office; now he must fill it if he wishes any +respect. We care nothing for the rich, except what will they do with +their money? Do they benefit mankind? That is the question. You say +this man holds an office. How does he fill it?--that is the question. +And there is rapidly growing up in the world an aristocracy of heart +and brain--the only aristocracy that has a right to exist. We are +getting free. We are thinking in every direction. We are +investigating with the microscope and the telescope. We are digging +into the earth and finding souvenirs of all the ages. We are finding +out something about the laws of health and disease. We are adding +years to the span of human life and we are making the world fit to live +in. That is what we are doing, and every man that has an honest thought +and expresses it, helps, and every man that tries to keep honest +thought from being expressed is an obstruction and a hindrance. + +Now if men have been slaves what shall we say of women? They have been +the slaves of slaves. The meaner a man is, the better he thinks he is +than a woman. As a rule, you take an ignorant, brutal man--don't talk +to him about a woman governing him, he don't believe it--not he; and +nearly every religion of this world has been gallant enough to account +for all the trouble and misfortune we have had by the crime of woman. + +Even if it is true, I do not care; I had rather live in a world full of +trouble with the woman I love than in heaven with nobody but men. +Nearly every religion accounts for all the trouble we have ever had by +the crime of woman. I recollect one book where I read an account of +what is called the creation--I am not giving the exact words, I will +give the substance of it. The supreme being thought best to make a +world and one man--never thought about making a woman at that time; +making a woman was a second thought, and I am free to admit that second +thoughts as a rule are best. He made this world and one man, and put +this man in a park, or garden, or public square, or whatever you might +call it, to dress and keep it. The man had nothing to do. He moped +around there as though he was waiting for a train. And the supreme +being noticed that he got lonesome--I am glad He did! It occurred to +Him that he would make a companion, and having made the world and one +man out of nothing, and having used up all the nothing, He had to take +a part of the man to start the woman with--I am not giving the exact +language, neither do I say this story is true. I do not know. I would +not want to deceive anybody. + +So sleep fell upon this man, and they took from his side a rib--the +French would call it a cutlet. And out of that they made a woman, and +taking into consideration the amount and quality of the raw material +used, I look upon it as the most successful job ever accomplished in +this world. I am giving just a rough outline of this story. After He +got the woman done she was brought to the man--not to see how she liked +him, but to see how he liked her. He liked her and they went to +keeping house. Before she was made there was really nothing to do; +there was no news, no politics, no religion, not even civil service +reform. And as the devil had not yet put in an appearance, there was no +chance to conciliate him. They started in the housekeeping business, +and they were told they could do anything they liked except eat an +apple. Of course they ate it. I would have done it myself I know. I +am satisfied I would have had an apple off that tree, if I had been +there, in fifteen minutes. They were caught at it, and they were +turned out, and there was an extra police force put on to keep them +from coming in again. And then measles, and whooping-cough, mumps, +etc., started in the race of man, roses began to have thorns and snakes +began to have teeth, and people began to fight about religion and +politics, and they have been fighting and scratching each other's eyes +out from that day to this. + +I read in another book an account of the same transaction. They tell +us the Supreme Brahma made up his mind to make a man, a woman, and a +world; and that he put this man and woman in the island of Ceylon. +According to the description, it was the most beautiful isle that ever +existed; it beggared the description of a Chicago land agent +completely. It was delightful; the branches of the trees were so +arranged that when the wind swept through them they seemed like a +thousand aeolian harps, and the man was named Adami, and the Woman's +name was Heva. This book was written about three or four thousand +years before the other one, and all the commentators in this country +agree that the story that was written first was copied from the one +that was written last. I hope you will not let a matter of three or +four thousand years interfere with your ideas on the subject. The +Supreme Brahma said: "Let them have a period of courtship, because it +is my desire that true love always should precede marriage"--and that +was so much better than lugging her up to him and saying, "Do you like +her?" that upon my word I said when I read it, "If either one of these +stories turn out to be true, I hope it will be this one." + +They had a courtship in the starlight and moonlight, and perfume-laden +air, with the nightingale singing his song of joy, and they got in +love. There was nobody to bother them, no prospective fathers or +mothers-in-law, no gossiping neighbors, nobody to say "Young man, how +do you propose to support her"--they got in love and they were married, +and they started keeping house, and the Supreme Brahma said to them: +"You must not leave this island." After awhile the man got +uneasy--wanted to go west. He went to the western extremity of the +island, and there the devil got up, and when he looked over on the +mainland he saw such hills and valleys and torrents, and such mountains +crowned with snow; such cataracts, robed in glory, that he went right +back to Heva. Says he: "Come over here; it is a thousand times +better;" says he: "let us emigrate." She said, like another woman: +"No, let well enough alone; we have no rent to pay, and no taxes; we +are doing very well now, let us stay where we are." But he insisted, +and so she went with him, and when he got to this western extremity, +where there was a little neck of land leading to this better land, he +took her on his back and walked over, and the moment he got over he +heard a crash, and he looked back and this narrow neck of land had sunk +into the sea, leaving here and there a rock (and those rocks are called +even unto this day the footsteps of Adami), and when he looked back +this beautiful mirage had disappeared. + +Instead of verdure and flowers there was naught but rocks and sand, and +then he heard the voice of the Supreme Brahma crying out cursing them +both to the lowest hell, and then it was that Adami said: "Curse me, +if you choose, but not her; it was not her fault, it was mine; curse +me." That is the kind of a man to start a world with. And the Supreme +Brahma said "I will spare her, but I will not spare you." Then she +spoke, out of a breast so full of affection that she has left a legacy +of love to all her daughters: "If thou wilt not spare him, spare +neither me, because I love him." Then the Supreme Brahma said--and I +have liked him ever since--"I will spare both, and watch over you and +your children forever." Now, really this story appears to me better +than the other one. It is loftier; there is more in it than I can +admire. In order to show you that humanity does not belong to any +particular nation, and that there are great and tender souls +everywhere, let me tell you a little more that is in this book. +"Blessed is that man, and beloved of all the gods who is afraid of no +man, and of whom no man is afraid." Think of that kind of character! +Another: "Man is strength, woman is beauty; man is courage, woman is +love; and where the one man loves the one woman the very angels leave +heaven and come and sit in that house and sing for joy." I think that +is nearly equal to this: "If you do not want your wife, give her a +writing of divorcement," and make the mother of your children a +houseless wanderer and a vagrant--nearly as good as that. + +I believe that marriage should be a perfect partnership; that woman +should have all the rights that man has, and one more--the right to be +protected. I believe in marriage. It took hundreds and thousands of +years for woman to get from a state of abject slavery up to the height +even of marriage. I have not the slightest respect for the ideas of +those short-haired women and long-haired men who denounce the +institution of the family, who denounce the institution of marriage; +but I hold in greater contempt the husband who would enslave his wife. +I hold in greater contempt the man who is anything in his family except +love and tenderness, and kindness. I say it took hundreds of years for +woman to come from a state of slavery to marriage; and ladies, the +chains that are upon your necks and the bracelets that are put upon +your arms were iron, and they have been changed by the touch of the +wand of civilization to shining, glittering gold. Woman came from a +condition of abject slavery and thousands and thousands of them are in +that condition now. I believe marriage should be a perfect and equal +partnership. I do not like a man who thinks he is boss. That fellow +in the dug-out was always talking about being boss. I do not like a +man who thinks he is the head of the family. I do not like a man who +thinks he has got authority and that the woman belongs to him--that +wants for his wife a slave. I would not have a slave for my wife. I +would not want the love of a woman that is not great enough, grand +enough, and splendid enough to be free. I will never give to any woman +my heart upon whom I afterwards would put chains. + +Do you know sometimes I think generosity is about the only virtue there +is. How I do hate a man that has to be begged and importuned every +minute for a few cents by his wife. "Give me a dollar?" "What did you +do with that fifty cents I gave you last Christmas?" If you make your +wife a perpetual beggar, what kind of children do you expect to raise +with a beggar for their mother? If you want great children, if you +want to people this world with great and grand men and women they must +be born of love and liberty. I have known men that would trust a woman +with their heart--if you call that thing which pushes their blood +around a heart; and with their honor--if you call that fear, of getting +into the penitentiary, honor; I have known men that would trust that +heart and that honor with a woman, but not their pocket-book--not a +dollar bill. When I see a man of that kind, I think they know better +than I do which of these three articles is the most valuable. I +believe if you have got a dollar in the world and you have got to spend +it, spend it like a man; spend it like a king, like a prince. If you +have to spend it, spend it as though it was a dried leaf, and you were +the owner of unbounded forests. I had rather be a beggar and spend my +last dollar like a king than be a king and spend my money like a +beggar. What is it worth compared with the love of a splendid woman? + +People tell me that is very good doctrine for rich folks, but it won't +do for poor folks. I tell you that there is more love in the huts and +homes of the poor, than in the mansions of the rich, and the meanest +but with love in it is a palace fit for the gods, and a palace without +that, is a den only fit for wild beasts. The man who has the love of +one splendid woman is a rich man. Joy is wealth, and love is the legal +tender of the soul! Love is the only thing that will pay ten percent +to borrower and lender both; and if some men were as ashamed of +appearing cross in public as they are of appearing tender at home, this +world would be infinitely better. I think you can make your home a +heaven if you want to--you can make up your minds to that. When a man +comes home let him come home like a ray of light in the night bursting +through the doors and illuminating the darkness. What right has a man +to assassinate joy, and murder happiness in the sanctuary of love--to +be a cross man, a peevish man--is that the way he courted? Was there +always something ailing him? Was he too nervous to hear her speak? +When I see a man of that kind I am always sorry that doctors know so +much about preserving life as they do. + +It is not necessary to be rich, nor powerful, nor great to be a +success; and neither is it necessary to have your name between the +putrid lips of rumor to be great. We have had a false standard of +success. In the years when I was a little boy we read in our books +that no fellow was a success that did not make a fortune or get a big +office, and he generally was a man that slept about three hours a +night. They never put down in the books the names of those gentlemen +that succeeded in life that slept all they wanted to; and we all +thought that we could not sleep to exceed three or four hours if we +ever expected to be anything in this world. We have had a wrong +standard. The happy man is the successful man; and the man who makes +somebody else happy, is a happy man. The man that has gained the love +of one good, splendid, pure woman, his life has been a success, no +matter if he dies in the ditch; and if he gets to be a crowned monarch +of the world, and never had the love of one splendid heart, his life +has been an ashen vapor. + +A little while ago I stood by the tomb of the first Napoleon, a +magnificent tomb of gilt and gold, fit almost for a dead deity, and +here was a great circle, and in the bottom there, in a sarcophagus, +rested at last the ashes of that restless man. I looked at that tomb, +and I thought about the career of the greatest soldier of the modern +world. As I looked, in imagination I could see him walking up and down +the banks of the Seine contemplating suicide. I could see him at +Toulon; I could see him at Paris, putting down the mob; I could see him +at the head of the army of Italy; I could see him crossing the bridge +of Lodi, with the tri-color in his hand; I saw him in Egypt, fighting +battles under the shadow of the Pyramids; I saw him returning; I saw +him conquer the Alps, and mingle the eagles of France with the eagles +of Italy; I saw him at Marengo, I saw him at Austerlitz; I saw him in +Russia, where the infantry of the snow and the blast smote his legions, +when death rode the icy winds of winter. I saw him at Leipsic; hurled +back upon Paris, banished; and I saw him escape from Elba and retake an +empire by the force of his genius. I saw him at the field of Waterloo, +where fate and chance combined to wreck the fortune of their former +king. I saw him at St. Helena, with his hands behind his back, gazing +out upon the sad and solemn sea, and I thought of all the widows he had +made, of all the orphans, of all the tears that had been shed for his +glory; and I thought of the woman, the only woman who ever loved him, +pushed from his heart by the cold hand of ambition and I said to +myself, as I gazed, "I would rather have been a French peasant and worn +wooden shoes, and lived in a little hut but with a vine running over +the door and the purple grapes growing red in the amorous kisses of the +autumn sun--I would rather have been that poor French peasant, to sit +in my door, with my wife knitting by my side and my children upon my +knees with their arms around my neck--I would rather have lived and +died unnoticed and unknown except by those who loved me, and gone down +to the voiceless silence of the dreamless dust--I would rather have +been that French peasant than to have been that imperial impersonation +of force and murder who covered Europe with blood and tears." + +I tell you I had rather make somebody happy, I would rather have the +love of somebody; I would rather go to the forest, far away, and build +me a little cabin--build it myself and daub it with mud, and live there +with my wife and children; I had rather go there and live by +myself--our little family--and have a little path that led down to the +spring, where the water bubbled out day and night like a little poem +from the heart of the earth; a little hut with some hollyhocks at the +corner, with their bannered bosoms open to the sun, and with the thrush +in the air, like a song of joy in the morning; I would rather live +there and have some lattice work across the window, so that the +sunlight would fall checkered on the baby in the cradle; I would rather +live there and have my soul erect and free, than to live in a palace of +gold and wear the crown of imperial power and know that my soul was +slimy with hypocrisy. It is not necessary to be rich and great and +powerful in order to be happy. If you will treat your wife like a +splendid flower, she will fill your life with a perfume and with joy. + +I believe in the democracy of the fireside, I believe in the +republicism of home, in the equality of man and woman, in the equality +of husband and wife, and for this I am denounced by the sentinels upon +the walls of Zion. + +They say there must be a head to the family. I say no--equal rights +for man and wife, and where there is really love there is liberty, and +where the idea of authority comes in you will find that love has spread +its pinions and flown forever. It is a splendid thing for me to think +that when a woman really loves a man he never grows old in her eyes; +she always sees the gallant gentleman that won her hand and heart; and +when a man really and truly loves a woman she does not grow old to him; +through the wrinkles of years he sees the face he loved and won. That +is all there is in this world--all the rest amounts to nothing--it is a +tale told by an idiot signifying nothing. You take from the family +love, and nothing is left. There must be equality; there must be no +master; there must be no servant. There must be equality and kindness. +The man should be infinitely tender towards the woman--and +why?--because she cannot go at hard work, she cannot make her own +living. She has squandered her wealth of beauty and youth upon him. + +Now, if women have been slaves, what do you say about children? +Children have been the slaves of the slaves. I know children that turn +pale with fright when they hear their mother's voice; children of +property; children of crime, children of sub-cellars; children of the +narrow streets, the flotsam and jetsam upon the wild, rude sea of +life--my heart goes out to them one and all; I say they have all the +rights we have and one more--the right to be protected. I believe in +governing children by kindness, by love, by tenderness. If a child +commits a fault take it in your arms, let your heart beat against its +heart; don't go and talk to it about hell and the bankruptcy of the +universe. If your child tells a lie--what of it? Be honest with the +child, tell him you have told hundreds of them yourself. Then your +child will not be afraid to tell you when it commits a fault; it will +not regard you as old perfection, until it gets a few years older, and +finds you are an old hypocrite--and you cannot put a thick enough veil +upon you but what the eyes of childhood will peep through it; they will +see; they will find out; and when your child tells a lie, examine +yourself, and in all probability you will find you have been a tyrant. +A tyrant father will have liars for his children. A liar is born of +tyranny on the one hand and fear on the other. Truth comes from the +lips of courage. It is born in confidence and honor. If you want a +child to tell you the truth you want to be a faithful man yourself. +You go at your little child, five or six years old, with a stick in +your hand--what is he to do? Tell the truth? Then he will get whipped. +What is he to do? I thank Mother Nature for putting ingenuity in the +mind of a little child so that when it is attacked by a brutal parent +it throws up a little breastwork in the shape of a lie. That being +done by nations it is called strategy, and many a general wears his +honors for having practiced it; and will you deny it to little children +to protect themselves from brutal parents. Supposing a man as much +larger than we are, larger than child would come at us with a +liberty-pole in his hand and would shout in tones of thunder, "Who +broke that plate?" Every one of us--including myself--would just stand +right up and swear either that we never saw that plate, or that it was +cracked when we got it. Give a child a chance; there is no other way +to have children tell the truth--tell the truth to them--keep your +contracts with your children the same as you would to your banker. + +I was up at Grand Rapids, Michigan, the other day. There was a +gentleman there, and his wife, who had promised to take their little +boy for a ride every night for ten days, or every day for ten days, but +they did not do it. They slipped out to the barn and they went without +him. The day before I was there they played the same game on him again. +He is a nice little boy, an American boy, a boy with brains, one of +those boys that don't take the hatchet-story as a fact; he had his own +ideas. They fooled him again, and they came around the corner as big as +life, man and wife. The little fellow was standing on the door step +with his nurse, and he looked at them, and he made this remark: "There +go the two damndest liars in Grand Rapids." I merely tell you this +story to show you that children have level heads; they understand this +business. + +Teach your children to tell you the truth--tell them the truth. If +there is one here that ever intends to whip his child I have a favor to +ask. Have your photograph taken when you are in the act, with your red +and vulgar face, your brow corrugated, pretending you would rather be +whipped yourself. Have the child's photograph taken too, with his eyes +streaming with tears, and his chin dimpled with fear, as a little sheet +of water struck by a sudden cold wind; and if your child should die I +cannot think of a sweeter way to spend an afternoon than to go to the +graveyard in the autumn, when the maples are clad in pink and gold, +when the little scarlet runners come like poems out of the breast of +the earth--go there and sit down and look at that photograph and think +of the flesh, now dust, and how you caned it to writhe in pain and +agony. + +I will tell you what I am doing; I am doing what little I can to save +the flesh of children. You have no right to whip them. It is not the +way; and yet some Christians drive their children from their doors if +they do wrong, especially if it is a sweet, tender girl--I believe +there is no instance on record of any veal being given for the return +of a girl--some Christians drive them from their doors and then go down +upon their knees and ask God to take care of their children! I will +never ask God to take care of my children unless I am doing my level +best in that same direction. Some Christians act as though they +thought when the Lord said, "Suffer little children to come unto me" +that he had a raw-hide under His mantle--they act as if they thought +so. That is all wrong. I tell yon my children this: Go where you +may, commit what crime you may, fall to what depths of degradation you +may, I can never shut my arms, my heart or my door to you. As long as +I live you shall have one sincere friend; do not be afraid to tell +anything wrong you have done; ten to one if I have not done the same +thing. I am not perfection, and if it is necessary to sin in order to +have sympathy, I am glad I have committed sin enough to have sympathy. +The sternness of perfection I do not want. I am going to live so that +my children can come to my grave and truthfully say, "He who sleeps +here never gave us one moment of pain." Whether you call that religion +or infidelity, suit yourselves; that is the way I intend to do it. + +When I was a little fellow most everybody thought that some days were +too sacred for the young ones to enjoy themselves in. That was the +general idea. Sunday used to commence Saturday night at sundown, under +the old text, "The evening and the morning were the first day." They +commenced then, I think, to get a good ready. When the sun went down +Saturday night, darkness ten thousand times deeper than ordinary night +fell upon the house. The boy that looked the sickest was regarded as +the most pious. You could not crack hickory nuts that night, and if you +were caught chewing gum it was another evidence of the total depravity +of the human heart. It was a very solemn evening. We would sometimes +sing "Another Day has Passed." Everybody looked as though they had the +dyspepsia--you know lots of people think they are pious, just because +they are bilious, as Mr. Hood says. It was a solemn night, and the next +morning the solemnity had increased. Then we went to church, and the +minister was in a pulpit about twenty feet high. If it was in the +winter there was no fire; it was not thought proper to be comfortable +while you were thanking the Lord. The minister commenced at firstly +and ran up to about twenty-fourthly, and then he divided it up again; +and then he made some concluding remarks, and then he said lastly, and +when he said lastly he was about half through. Then we had what we +called the catechism--the chief end of man. I think that has a +tendency to make a boy kind of bubble up cheerfully. + +We sat along on a bench with our feet about eight inches from the +floor. The minister said, "Boys, do you know what becomes of the +wicked?" We all answered as cheerfully as grasshoppers sing in +Minnesota, "Yes, sir." "Do you know, boys, that you all ought to go to +hell?" "Yes, sir." As a final test: "Boys, would you be willing to +go to hell if it was God's will?" And every little liar said, "Yes, +sir." The dear old minister used to try to impress upon our minds +about how long we would stay there after we got there, and he used to +say in an awful tone of voice--do you know I think that is what gives +them the bronchitis--that tone--you never heard of an auctioneer having +it--"Suppose that once in a billion of years a bird were to come from +some far, distant clime and carry off in its bill a grain of sand, when +the time came when the last animal matter of which this mundane sphere +is composed would be carried away," said he, "boys, by that time in +hell it would not be sun up." We had this sermon in the morning and +the same one in the afternoon, only he commenced at the other end. +Then we started home full of doctrine--we went sadly and sole solemnly +back. If it was in the summer and the weather was good and we had been +good boys, they used to take us down to the graveyard, and to cheer us +up we had a little conversation about coffins, and shrouds, and worms, +and bones, and dust, and I must admit that it did cheer me up when I +looked at those sunken graves those stones, those names half effaced +with the decay of years. I felt cheered, for I said, "This thing can't +last always." Then we had to read a good deal. We were not allowed to +read joke books or anything of that kind. We read Baxter's "Call to +the Unconverted;" Fox's "Book of Martyrs;" Milton's "History of the +Waldenses," and "Jenkins on the Atonement." I generally read Jenkins; +and I have often thought that the atonement ought to be pretty broad in +its provisions to cover the case of a man that would write a book like +that for a boy. + +Then we used to go and see how the sun was getting on--when the sun was +down the thing was over. I would sit three or four hours reading +Jenkins, and then go out and the sun would not have gone down +perceptibly. I used to think it stuck there out of simple, pure +cussedness. But it went down at last, it had to; that was a part of +the plan, and as the last rim of light would sink below the horizon, +off would go our hats and we would give three cheers for liberty once +again. I do not believe in making Sunday hateful for children. I +believe in allowing them to be happy, and no day can be so sacred but +that the laugh of a child will make it holier still. There is no God +in the heavens that is pleased at the sadness of childhood. You cannot +make me believe that. You fill their poor, little, sweet hearts with +the fearful doctrine of hell. A little child goes out into the garden; +there is a tree covered with a glory of blossoms and the child leans +against it, and there is a little bird on the bough singing and +swinging, and the waves of melody run out of its tiny throat, thinking +about four little speckled eggs in the nest, warmed by the breast of +its mate, and the air is filled with perfume, and that little child +leans against that tree and thinks about hell and the worm that never +dies; think of filling the mind of a child with that infamous dogma! + +Where was that doctrine of hell born? Where did it come from? It came +from that gentleman in the dug-out; it was a souvenir from the lower +animal. I honestly believe that the doctrine of hell was born in the +glittering eyes of snakes that run in frightful coils watching for +their prey. I believe it was born in the yelping and howling and +growling and snarling of wild beasts, I believe it was born in the grin +of hyenas and in the malicious chatter of depraved apes, I despise it, +I defy it and hate it; and when the great ship freighted with the world +goes down in the night of death, chaos and disaster, I will not be +guilty of the ineffable meanness of pushing from my breast my wife and +children and padding off in some orthodox canoe. I will go down with +those I love and with those who love me. I will go down with the ship +and with my race. I will go where there is sympathy. I will go with +those I love. Nothing can make me believe that there is any being that +is going to burn and torment and damn his children forever. No, sir! +You will never make me believe you can divide the world up into saints +and sinners, and that the saints are all going to heaven and the others +to hell. I don't believe that you can draw the line. + +You are sometimes in the presence of a great disaster; there is a fire; +at the fourth story window you see the white face of a woman with a +child in her arms, and humanity calls out for somebody to go to the +rescue through that smoke and flame, maybe death. They don't call for +a Baptist, nor a Presbyterian, nor a Methodist, but humanity calls for +a man. And all at once, out steps somebody that nobody ever did think +was much, not a very good man, and yet he springs up the ladder and is +lost in the smoke, and a moment afterward he emerges, and the cruel +serpents of fire climb and hiss around his brave form, but he goes on +and you see that woman and child in his arms, and you see them come +down and they are handed to the bystanders, and he has fainted, maybe, +and the crowd stand hushed, as they always do, in the presence of a +grand action, and a moment after the air is rent with a cheer. Tell me +that that man is going to hell, who is willing to lose his life merely +to keep a woman and child from the torment of a moment's flame--tell me +that he is going to hell; I tell you that it is a falsehood, and if +anybody says so he is mistaken. + +I have seen upon the battlefield a boy sixteen years of age struck by +the fragment of a shell and life oozing slowly from the ragged lips of +his death-wound, and I have heard him and seen him die with a curse +upon his lips, and he had the face of his mother in his heart. Do you +tell me that that boy left that field where he died that the flag of +his country might wave forever in the air--do you tell me that he went +from that field, where he lost his life in defense of the liberties of +men, to an eternal hell? I tell you it is infamous!--and such a +doctrine as that would tarnish the reputation of a hyena and smirch the +fair fame of an anaconda. + +Let us see whether we are to believe it or not. We had a war a little +while ago and there was a draft made, and there was many a good +Christian hired another fellow to take his place, hired one that was +wicked, hired a sinner to go to hell in his place for five hundred +dollars! While if he was killed he would go to heaven. Think of that. +Think of a man willing to do that for five hundred dollars! I tell you +when you come right down to it they have got too much heart to believe +it; they say they do, but they do not appreciate it. They do not +believe it. They would go crazy if they did. They would go insane. +If a woman believed it, looking upon her little dimpled darling in the +cradle, and said, "Nineteen chances in twenty I am raising fuel for +hell," she would go crazy. They don't believe it, and can't believe +it. The old doctrine was that the angels in heaven would become happier +as they looked upon those in hell. That is not the doctrine now; we +have civilized it. That is not the doctrine. What is the doctrine +now? The doctrine is that those in heaven can look upon the agonies of +those in hell, whether it is a fire or whatever it is, without having +the happiness of those in heaven decreased--that is the doctrine. + +That is preached today in every orthodox pulpit in Harrisburg. Let me +put one case and I will be through with this branch of the subject. A +husband and wife love each other. The husband is a good fellow and the +wife a splendid woman. They live and love each other and all at once +he is taken sick, and they watch day after day and night after night +around his bedside until their property is wasted and finally she has +to go to work, and she works through eyes blinded with tears, and the +sentinel of love watches at the bedside of her prince, and at the least +breath or the least motion she is awake; and she attends him night +after night and day after day for years, and finally he dies, and she +has him in her arms and covers his wasted face with the tears of agony +and love. He is a believer and she is not. He dies, and she buries +him and puts flowers above his grave, and she goes there in the +twilight of evening and she takes her children, and tells her little +boys and girls through her tears how brave and how true and how tender +their father was, and finally she dies and she goes to hell, because +she was not a believer; and he goes to the battlements of heaven and +looks over and sees the woman who loved him with all the wealth of her +love, and whose tears made his dead face holy and sacred, and he looks +upon her in the agonies of hell without having his happiness diminished +in the least. + +With all due respect to everybody, I say, damn any such doctrine as +that. It is infamous! It never ought to be preached; it never ought +to be believed. We ought to be true to our hearts, and the best +revelation of the infinite is the human heart. + +Now, I come back to where I started from. They used to think that a +certain day was too good for a child to be happy in, so they filled the +imagination of this child with these horrors of hell. I said, and I +say again, no day can be so sacred but that the laugh of a child will +make the holiest day more sacred still. Strike with hand of fire, oh, +weird musician, thy harp, strung with Apollo's golden hair; fill the +vast cathedral aisles with symphonies sweet and dim, deft toucher of +the organ keys; blow bugler, blow, until thy silver notes do touch the +skies, with moonlit waves, and charm the lovers wandering on the +vine-clad hills; but know, your sweetest strains are discords all, +compared with childhood's happy laugh, the laugh that fills the eyes +with light and every heart with joy; oh, rippling river of life, thou +art the blessed boundary-line between the beasts and man, and every +wayward wave of thine doth drown some fiend of care; oh, laughter, +divine daughter of joy, make dimples enough in the cheeks of the world +to catch and hold and glorify all the tears of grief. + +I am opposed to any religion that makes them melancholy, that makes +children sad, and that fills the human heart with shadow. + +Give a child a chance. When I was a boy we always went to bed when we +were not sleepy, and we always got up when we were sleepy. Let a child +commence at which end of the day they please, that is their business; +they know more about it than all the doctors in the world. The voice +of nature when a man is free, is the voice of right, but when his +passions have been damned up by custom, the moment that is withdrawn, +he rushes to some excess. Let him be free from the first. Let your +children grow in the free air and they will fill your house with +perfume. Do not create a child to be a post set in an orthodox row; +raise investigators and thinkers, not disciples and followers; +cultivate reason, not faith; cultivate investigation, not superstition; +and if you have any doubt yourself about a thing being so, tell them +about it; don't tell them the world was made in six days--if you think +six days means six good whiles, tell them six good whiles. If you have +any doubts about anybody being in a furnace and not being burnt, or +even getting uncomfortably warm, tell them so--be honest about it. If +you look upon the jaw-bone of a donkey as not a good weapon, say so. +Give a child a chance. If you think a man never went to sea in a fish, +tell them so, it won't make them any worse. Be honest--that is all; +don't cram their heads with things that will take them years and years +to unlearn; tell them facts--it is just as easy. It is as easy to find +out botany, and astronomy, and geology, and history--it is as easy to +find out all these things as to cram their minds with things you know +nothing about,* and where a child knows what the name of a flower is +when it sees it, the name of a bird and all those things, the world +becomes interesting everywhere, and they do not pass by the +flowers--they are not deaf to all the songs of birds, simply because +they are walking along thinking about hell. + +[* "We know of no difference between matter and spirit, because we know +nothing with certainty about either. Why trouble ourselves about +matters of which, however important they may be we do know nothing and +can know nothing?"--Huxley] + +I tell you, this is a pretty good world if we only love somebody in it, +if we only make somebody happy, if we are only honor-bright in it, if +we have no fear. That is my doctrine. I like to hear children at the +table telling what big things they have seen during the day; I like to +hear their merry voices mingling with the clatter of knives and forks. +I had rather hear that than any opera that was ever put on the stage. +I hate this idea of authority. I hate dignity. I never saw a +dignified man that was not after all an old idiot. Dignity is a mask; +a dignified man is afraid that you will know he does not know +everything. A man of sense and argument is always willing to admit what +he don't know--why?--because there is so much that he does know; and +that is the first step towards learning anything--willingness to admit +what you don't know and when you don't understand a thing, ask--no +matter how small and silly it may look to other people--ask, and after +that you know. A man never is in a state of mind that he can learn +until he gets that dignified nonsense out of him, and so, I say let us +treat our children with perfect kindness and tenderness. + +Now, then, I believe in absolute intellectual liberty; that a man has a +right to think, and think wrong, provided he does the best he can to +think right--that is all. I have no right to say that Mr. Smith shall +not think; Mr. Smith has no right to say I shall not think; I have no +right to go and pull a clergyman out of his pulpit and say: "You shall +not preach that doctrine," but I have just as much right as he has to +say my say. I have no right to lie about a clergyman, and with great +modesty I claim--and with some timidity--that he has no right to +slander me--that is all. + +I claim that every man and wife are equal, except that she has a right +to be protected; that there is nothing like the democracy of the home +and the republicism of the fire-side, and that a man should study to +make his wife's life one perpetual poem of joy; that there should be +nothing but kindness and goodness; and then I say that children should +be governed by love, by kindness, by tenderness, and by the sympathy of +love, kindness and tenderness. That is the religion I have got, and it +is good enough for me whether it suits anybody else in the world or +not. I think it is altogether more important to believe in my wife than +it is to believe in the master; I think it is altogether more important +to love my children than the twelve apostles--that is my doctrine. I +may be wrong, but that is it. I think more of the living than I do of +the dead. This world is for the living. The grave is not a throne, +and a corpse is not a king. The living have a right to control this +world. I think a good deal more of today than I do of yesterday, and I +think more of tomorrow than I do of this day; because it is nearly +gone--that is the way I feel, and this my creed. The time to be happy +is now; the way to be happy is to make somebody else happy; and the +place to be happy is here. I never will consent to drink skim milk +here with the promise of cream somewhere else. + +Now, my friends, I have some excuses to offer for the race to which I +belong. In the first place, this world is not very well adapted to +raising good people; there is but one-quarter of it land to start with; +it is three times as well adapted to fish-culture as it is to man, and +of that one-quarter there is but a small belt where they raise men of +genius. There is one strip from which all the men and women of genius +come. When you go too far north yon find no brain; when you go too far +south you find no genius, and there never has been a high degree of +civilization except where there is winter. I say that winter is the +father and mother of the fireside, the family of nations; and around +that fireside blossom the fruits of our race. In a country where they +don't need any bed-clothes except the clouds, revolution is the normal +condition not much civilization there. When in the winter I go by a +house where the curtain is a little bit drawn, and I look in there and +see children poking the fire and wishing they had as many dollars or +knives or something else as there are sparks; when I see the old man +smoking and the smoke curling above his head like incense from the +altar of domestic peace, the other children reading or doing something, +and the old lady with her needle and shears--I never pass such a scene +that I do not feel a little ache of joy in my heart. + +Awhile ago they were talking about annexing San Domingo. They said it +was the finest soil in the world, and so on. Says I, "It don't raise +the right kind of folks; you take five thousand of the best people in +the world and let them settle there and you will see the second +generation barefooted, with the hair sticking out of the top of their +sombreros; you will see them riding barebacked, with a rooster under +each arm, going to a cockfight on Sunday." That is one excuse I have. + +Another is, I think we came from the lower animals, I am not dead sure +of it. On that question I stand about eight to seven. If there is +nothing of the snake, or hyena, or jackal in man, why would he cut his +brother's throat for a difference of belief? Why would he build +dungeons and burn the flesh of his brother man with red hot irons? I +think we came from the lower animals. When I first heard that doctrine +I did not like it. I felt sorry for our English friends, who would +have to trace their pedigree back to the Duke of Orangutan, or the Earl +of Chimpanzee. But I have read so much about rudimentary bones and +rudimentary muscles that I began to doubt about it. Says I: "What do +you mean by rudimentary muscles?" They say: "A muscle that has gone +into bankruptcy--" "Was it a large muscle?" "Yes." "What did our +forefathers use it for?" They say: "To flap their ears with." After I +found that out I was astonished to find that they had become +rudimentary; I know so many people for whom it would be handy today, so +many people where that would have been on an exact level with their +intellectual development. So after while I began to like it, and says +I to myself: "You have got to come to it." I thought after all I had +rather belong to a race of people that came from skull-less vertebrae +in the dim Laurentian period, that wiggled without knowing they were +wiggling, that began to develop and came up by a gradual development +until they struck this gentleman in the dug-out; coming up +slowly--up-up-up--until, for instance, they produced such a man as +Shakespeare--he who harvested all the fields of dramatic thought, and +after whom all others have been only gleaners of straw, he who found +the human intellect dwelling in a hut, touched it with the wand of his +genius and it became a palace--producing him and hundreds of others I +might mention--with the angels of progress leaning over the far horizon +beckoning this race of work and thought--I had rather belong to a race +commencing at the skull-less vertebrae producing the gentleman in the +dug-out and so on up, than to have descended from a perfect pair upon +which the Lord has lost money from that day to this. I had rather +belong to a race that is going up than to one that is going down. I +would rather belong to one that commenced at the skull-less vertebrae +and started for perfection, than to belong to one, that started from +perfection and started for the skull-less vertebrae. + +These are the excuses I have for my race, and taking everything into +consideration, I think we have done extremely well. + +Let us have more liberty and free thought. Free thought will give us +truth. It is too early in the history of the world to write a creed. +Our fathers were intellectual slaves; our fathers were intellectual +serfs. There never has been a free generation on the globe. Every +creed you have got bears the mark of whip, and chain, and fagot. There +has been no creed written by a free brain. Wait until we have had two +or three generations of liberty and it will then be time enough to +seize the swift horse of progress by the bridle and say--thus far and +no farther; and in the meantime let us be kind to each other; let us +be decent towards each other. We are all travelers on the great plain +we call life and there is nobody quite sure, what road to take--not +just dead sure, you known. There are lots of guide-boards on the plain +and you find thousands of people swearing today that their guide-board +is the only board that shows the right direction. I go and talk to +them and they say: "You go that way, or you will be damned." I go to +another and they say: "You go this way, or you will be damned." I +find them all fighting and quarreling and beating each other, and then +I say: "Let us cut down all these guide-boards." "What," they say, +"leave us without any guide-boards?" I say: "Yes. Let every man take +the road he thinks is right; and let everybody else wish him a happy +journey; let us part friends." + +I say to you tonight, my friends, that I have no malice upon this +subject--not a particle; I simply wish to express my thoughts. The +world has grown better just in proportion as it is happier; the world +has grown better just in proportion as it has lost superstition; the +world has grown better just in the proportion that the sacerdotal class +has lost influence--just exactly; the world has grown better just in +proportion that secular ideas have taken possession of the world. The +world has grown better just in proportion that it has ceased talking +about the visions of the clouds, and talked about the realities of the +earth. The world has grown better just in the proportion that it has +grown free, and I want to do what little I can in my feeble way to add +another flame to the torch of progress. I do not know, of course, what +will come, but if I have said anything tonight that will make a husband +love his wife better, I am satisfied; if I have said anything, that +will make a wife love her husband better, I am satisfied; if I have +said anything that will add one more ray of joy to life, I am +satisfied; if I have said anything that will save the tender flesh of a +child from a blow, I am satisfied; if I have said anything that will +make us more willing to extend to others the right we claim for +ourselves, I am satisfied. + +I do not know what inventions are in the brain of the future; I do not +know what garments of glory may be woven for the world in the loom of +the years to be; we are just on the edge of the great ocean of +discovery. I do not know what is to be discovered; I do not know what +science will do for us. I do know that science did just take a handful +of sand and make the telescope, and with it read all the starry leaves +of heaven; I know that science took the thunderbolts from the hands of +Jupiter, and now the electric spark, freighted with thought and love, +flashes under waves of the sea. I know that science stole a tear from +the cheek of unpaid labor, converted it into steam, and created a giant +that turns with tireless arms the countless wheels of toil; I know that +science broke the chains from human limbs and gave us instead the +forces of nature for our slaves; I know that we have made the +attraction of gravitation work for us; we have made the lightnings our +messengers; we have taken advantage of fire and flames and wind and +sea; these slaves have no backs to be whipped; they have no hearts to +be lacerated; they have no children to be stolen, no cradles to be +violated. I know that science has given us better houses; I know it +has given us better pictures and better books; I know it has given us +better wives and better husbands, and more beautiful children. I know +it has enriched a thousand-fold our lives; and for that reason I am in +favor of intellectual liberty. + +I know not, I say, what discoveries may lead the world to glory; but I +do know that from the infinite sea of the future never a greater or +grander blessing will strike this bank and shoal of time than liberty +for man, woman and child. + +Ladies and gentlemen, I have delivered this lecture a great many times; +clergymen have attended, and editors of religious newspapers, and they +have gone away and written in their papers and declared in their +pulpits that in this lecture I advocated universal adultery; they have +gone away and said it was obscene and disgusting. Between me and my +clerical maligners, between me and my religious slanderers, I leave +you, ladies and gentlemen, to judge. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Human Rights + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: I suppose that man, from the most grotesque +savage up to Heckle, has had a philosophy by which he endeavored to +account for all the phenomena of nature he may have observed. From +that mankind may have got their ideas of right and wrong. Now, where +there are no rights there can be no duties. Let us always remember +that only as a man becomes free can he by any possibility become good +or great. As I said, every savage has had his philosophy, and by it +accounted for everything he observed. He had an idea of rain and +rainbow, and he had an idea of a controlling power. One said there is +a being who presides over our world, and who will destroy us unless we +do right. Others had many of these beings, but they were invariably +like themselves. The most fruitful imagination cannot make more than a +man, though it may make infinite powers and attributes out of the +powers and attributes of man. You can't build a God unless you start +with a human being. The savage said, when there was a storm, "Somebody +is angry." When lightning leaped from the lurid cloud, he thought, +"What have I been doing?" and when he couldn't think of any wrong he +had been doing, he tried to think of some wrong his neighbor had been +doing. + +I may as well state here that I believe man has come up from the lowest +orders of creation, and may have not come up very far; still, I believe +we are doing very well, considering. + +But, speaking of man's early philosophy, his morality was founded first +on self-defense. When gathered together in tribes, he held that this +infinite being would hold the tribe responsible for the actions of any +individual who had angered him. They imagined this being got angry. +Just imagine the serenity of an infinite being being disturbed, and a +God breaking into a passion because some poor wretch had neglected to +bring two turtle doves to a priest! + +Then they sought out this poor offending individual, to punish him and +appease the wroth of this being. And here commenced religious +persecution. + +Now, I do not say there is no God, but what I do say is that I do not +know. The only difference between me and the theologian is that I am +honest. There may or there may not be an infinite being, but I do not +know it, and until I do I cannot conceive of any obedience I owe to any +unknown being. + +As soon as men began to imagine they would be held responsible for the +act of any other person, came the necessity for some one to teach them +how to keep from offending the being. Some called him medicine man, +some called him priest; now, we call him theologian. These men set out +to teach men how to keep from offending this being, and they laid down +certain laws to regulate the conduct of men. First of all it was +necessary to believe in this power. To disbelieve in him was the worst +offense of all. To have some human being, dressed in the skin of a wild +beast, deny the existence of this infinite being, was more than the +infinite being could stand. The first thing, therefore, was to believe +in this power, the next to support this gentleman standing between you +and the supreme wrath. These gentlemen were the lobbyists with the +power, and sometimes succeeded in getting the veto used in favor of +their clients. + +For ages, as mankind slowly came through the savage state, the world +was filled with infinite fear. They accounted for everything bad that +happened as the wrath of this supreme being. But they went from +savagery to barbarism--a step in improvement--and then began to build +temples to, and make images of, this being. Then man began to believe +he could influence this being by prayer, by getting on his knees to the +image he had made. + +Nothing, I suppose astonishes a missionary more than to see a savage in +Central Africa on his knees before a stone praying for luck in hunting +or in fighting. And yet it strikes me--we have our army chaplains +before a battle praying for the success of our side. They don't pray +for assistance if our cause is just, but they pray, "Lord help us!" I +can't see the difference between the two. + +But there is this said in favor of prayer that, whether successful or +not, it is a sort of intellectual exercise. Like a man trying to lift +himself, he may not succeed, but he gets a good deal of exercise. + +But as man proceeds, he begins to help himself and to take advantage of +mechanical powers to assist him, and he begins to see he can help +himself a little, and exactly in the proportion he helps himself he +comes to rely less on the power of priest or prayer to help him. Just +to the extent we are helpless, to that extent do we rely upon the +unknown. + +As religion developed itself, keeping pace with the belief in theology, +came the belief in demonology. They gave one being all the credit of +doing all the good things, and must give some one credit for the bad +things, and so they created a devil. At one time it was as +disreputable to deny the existence of a devil as to deny the existence +of a God; to deny the existence of a hell, with its fire and brimstone, +as to deny the existence of a heaven with its harp and love. + +With the development of religion came the idea that no man should be +allowed to bring the wrath of God on a nation by his transgressions, +and this idea permeates the Christian world today. Now what does this +prove? Simply that our religion is founded on fear, and when you are +afraid you cannot think. Fear drops on its knees and believes. It is +only courage that can think. It was the idea that man's actions could +do something, outside of any effect his mechanical works might have, to +change the order of nature; that he might commit some offense to bring +on an earthquake, but he can't do it. You can't be bad enough to cause +an earthquake; neither can you be good enough to stop one. Out of that +wretched doctrine and infamous mistake that man's belief could have any +effect upon nature grew all these inquisitions, racks and collars of +torture, and all the blood that was ever shed by religious persecution. + +In Europe the country was divided between kings and priests. The king +held that he got the power from the unknown; so did the priests. They +could not say that they got it from the people; the people would deny +it; the unknown could not deny it. And thus the altar and throne stand +side by side. And republicanism was a thing unknown. + +It has been said that the pilgrim fathers came to this country to +establish religious liberty. They did no such thing. They were not in +favor of it. They came with the Testament in their hands, and with it +they could have no idea of religious liberty. When they had +established thirteen colonies here, and had struggled for and obtained +their independence, they established federal government, but did they +seek after religious liberty? No! When they formed a federal +government each church and each colony was jealous of the other. They +said to the general government, "You can't have any religion in the +constitution," but each state could make its own religion, and they +made them. + +Here the speaker read copious extracts from the statutes of the +different states in reference to the qualifications for the exercise of +citizenship--the religious belief necessary; and, on concluding, asked, +"Had they (the members who drew up these state constitutions) any idea +of religious liberty." + +Continuing, he said: "Now, my friends, there's a party started in this +country with the object of giving every man, woman and child the rights +they are entitled to. Now every one of us has the same rights. I have +the right to labor and to have the products of my labor. I have the +right to think, and furthermore, to express my thoughts, because +expression is the reward of my intellectual labor. And yet in the +United States there are states where men of my ideas would not be +allowed to testify in a court of justice. Is that right? There are +states in this country where, if the law had been enforced, I would +have been sent to the penitentiary for lecturing. All such laws are +enacted by barbarians, and our country will not be free until they are +wiped from the statute books of every state. + +Does an infinite being need to be protected by a State Legislature? If +the bible is inspired, does the author of it need the support of the +law to command respect? We don't need any law to make mankind respect +Shakespeare. We come to the altar of that great man and cover it with +our gratitude without a statute. Think of a law to govern tastes! +Think of a law to govern mind, or any question whatever! Think of the +way in which they have supported the bible! They've terrorized the old +with laws, and captured the dear, little innocent children and poisoned +their minds with their false stories until, when they have reached the +age of manhood, they have been afraid to think for themselves. Let us +see what the laws are now, by which they guard their bible and their +God. + +[Here the speaker read extracts from the statutes of several states in +reference to blasphemy and profanation of the Sabbath, commenting on +each as he ran them through:] Pursuing the thread of his discourse, he +said: Every American should see to it that all these laws are done +away with once and forever. + +There has been a reaction of late years. This country has begun to be +prosperous. We don't think much of religion; 'tis only when hard times +come we turn our attention toward it. There are people in this country +who say we are getting too irreligious, too scientific. Now, is it not +a fact that we are happier today than at any period in our history? +You live in a great country, though perhaps you do not know it. But +live in any other country for a while, and you'll find it out. See, +then, what we've got by looking a little to the affairs of the world! +The bible can't stand today without the support of the civil power. No +religion ever flourished except by the support of the sword, and no +religion like this could have been established except by brute force. + +At one time we thought a great deal of clergymen, but now we have got +to thinking they ain't of as much importance as a man that has invented +something. The church seeing this has made up its mind that it is +necessary to do something, and so got up a plan to be acknowledged by +law. Here's what they wish to do: [Here the speaker read some +extracts from the constitution of the National Reform Association.] +Continuing he said: Our fathers, in 1776, building better than they +knew, retired the gods from politics. I do not believe Jesus Christ is +the ruler of nations. If he is the ruler of one he is the ruler of all. +Why does he not then rule one as well as another? If you give him +credit for the good things of one you must denounce him for the tyranny +and despotism of others. The revealed word of God is not the standing +of civil justice in this country! The bible is not the standard of +right and wrong or of decency in this country. + +You can't put God in the constitution, because if you do there would be +no room for the folks. Whatever you put in the constitution you must +enforce by the sword, and you can't go to war with any man for not +believing in your God. God has no business there, and any man that is +in favor of putting him there is an enemy to the interests of American +institutions. + +Now for the purpose of preventing the name of God being put in the +constitution, there's another little party has been started and these +are its doctrines: We want an absolute divorce between church and +state. We demand that church property should not be exempt from +taxation. If you are going to exempt anything, exempt the homesteads +of the poor. Don't exempt a rich corporation, and make men pay taxes +to support a religion in which they do not believe. But they say +churches do good. I don't know whether they do or not. Do you see +such a wonderful difference between a member of a church and the man +who does not believe in it? Do church members pay their debts any +better than any others? Do they treat their families any better? Did +you ever hear of any man coming into a town broke and inquire where the +deacon of a Presbyterian church lived? Has not the church opposed +every science from the first ray of light until now? Didn't they damn +into eternal flames the man who discovered the world was round? Didn't +they damn into eternal flames the man who discovered the movement of +the earth in its orbit? Didn't they persecute the astronomers? Didn't +they even try to put down life insurance by saying it was sinful to bet +on the time God has given you to live? Science built the Academy, +superstition the Inquisition. Science constructed the telescope, +religion the rack; science made us happy here, and says if there's +another life we'll all stand an equal chance there; religion made us +miserable here, and says a large majority will be eternally miserable +there. Should we, therefore, exempt it from taxation for any good it +has done? + +The next thing we ask is a perfect divorce between church and school. +We say that every school should be secular, because its just to +everybody. If I was an Israelite I wouldn't want to be taxed to have +my children taught that his ancestors had murdered a supreme being. +Let us teach, not the doctrines of the past, but the discoveries of the +present; not the five points of Calvinism, but geology and geography. +Education is the lever to raise mankind, and superstition is the enemy +of intelligence. + +We demand, next, that woman shall be put upon an equality with man. +Why not? Why shouldn't men be decent enough in the management of the +politics of the country for women to mingle with them? It is an +outrage that anyone should live in this country for sixty or seventy +years and be forced to obey the laws without having any voice in making +them. Let us give woman the opportunity to care for herself, since men +are not decent enough to seek to care for her. The time will come when +we'll treat a woman that works and takes care of two or three children +as well as a woman dressed in diamonds who does nothing. The time will +come when we'll not tell our domestic we expect to meet her in heaven, +and yet not be willing to have her speak to us in the drawing room. + +Ignorance is a poor pedestal to set virtue upon and mock-modesty should +not have the right to prevent people from knowing themselves. Every +child has a right to be well-born, and ignorance has no right to people +the world with scrofula and consumption. When we come to the +conclusion that God is not taking care of us and that we have to take +care of ourselves, then we'll begin to have something in the world +worth living for. + +I would wish there was seated upon the throne of the universe one who +would see to it that justice did always prevail. I do not propose to +give up the little world I live in for the unknown. + +I would wish that the friends who bid us "good night" in this world +might meet us with "good morning" there. Just as long as we love one +another we'll hope for another world; just as long as love kisses the +lips of death will we believe and hope for a future reunion. I would +not take one hope away from the human heart or one joy from the human +soul, but I hold in contempt the gentlemen who keep heaven on sale; I +look with contempt on him who keeps it on draught; I look with pitying +contempt on him who endeavors to prohibit honest thought by promising a +reward in another world. If there is another world we'll find when we +come there that no one has done enough good to be eternally rewarded, +no one has done enough harm to meet with an unending, eternal pain and +agony. We'll find that there is no being that ever hindered a man from +exercising his reason. Now, while we are here, no matter what happens +to us hereafter, let us cultivate strength of heart and brain to stand +the inevitable. No creed can help you there. When the heart is touched +with agony nothing but time can heal it. + +I want, if I can, to do a little to increase the rights of men, to put +every human being on an equality, to sweep away the clouds of +superstition, to make people think more of what happens today than what +somebody said happened 3,000 years ago. This is all I want: To do +what little I can to clutch one-seventh of our time from superstition, +to give our Sundays to rest and recreation. I want a day of enjoyment, +a day to read old books, to meet old friends, and get acquainted with +one's wife and children. I want a day to gather strength to meet the +toils of the next. I want to get that day away from the church, away +from superstition and the contemplation of hell, to be the best and +sweetest and brightest of all the days in the week. The best way to +make a day sacred is to fill it up with useful labor. That day is best +on which most good is done for the human race. I hope to see the time +when we'll have a day for the opera, the play--good plays--for they do +good. You never saw the villain foiled in a play where the audience +did not applaud. You never saw them applaud when the rascal was +successful in his villainy. If you could go to a theater and see put +upon the stage the scenes of the old testament, with its butcheries and +rapes and deeds of violence, you would detest it all the days of your +life. I'd like to have every horror of the old testament set on this +stage, to have somebody represent the being as he is represented there, +giving his brutal orders, and let the orthodox see their God as he +really is. + +I want to have us all do what little we can to secularize this +government--take it from the control of savagery and give it to +science, take it from the government of the past and give it to the +enlightened present, and in this government let us uphold every man and +woman in their rights, that everyone, after he or she comes to the age +of discretion, may have a choice in the affairs of the nation. + +Do this, and we'll grow in grandeur and splendor every day, and the +time will come when every man and every woman shall have the same +rights as every other man and every other woman has. I believe, we are +growing better. I don't believe the wail of want shall be heard +forever; that the prison and gallows will always curse the ground. The +time will come when liberty and law and love, like the rings of Saturn, +will surround the world; when the world will cease making these +mistakes; when every man will be judged according to his worth and +intelligence. I want to do all I can to hasten that day. + + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Talmagian Theology (Second Lecture) + + + +Col. Ingersoll began, "Only a few years ago the pulpit was almost +supreme. The palace was almost in the shadow of the cathedral, and the +power behind every throne was a priest. Man was held in physical +slavery by kings, and in a mental prison by the church. He was allowed +to hold no opinions as to where he came from, nor as to where he was +going. It was sufficient for him to do the labor and believe the kings +would do the governing and the priests the thinking--and, my God, what +thinking! If the world had obeyed the priests we would all be idiots +tonight. The eagle of intellect would have given way to the blind bat +of faith. They were the rack, the faggot, the thumbscrew in this world, +and hell in the next. Only a few years ago no man could express an +honest thought unless he agreed with the church. The church has been a +perpetual beggar. It has never plowed, it never sowed, it never spun, +yet Solomon in all his glory was not so arrayed. Thanks to modern +thought, the brain of the nineteenth century, to Voltaire, Paine, Hume, +to all the free men, that beggar--the church--is no longer upon +horseback; and it fills me with joy to state that even its walking is +not now good. Only a little while ago a priest was thought more than +human. Nobody dared contradict the minister. Now there are other +learned professions. There are doctors, lawyers, writers, books, +newspapers, and the priest has hundreds of rivals. + +The priest grew jealous, hateful; he was always thankful for an +epidemic or pestilence, so that people would turn to him in despair. +In our country all the men of intellect were in the pulpit once. Now +there are so many avenues to distinction the men of brain, heart and +red blood have left the pulpit and gone to useful things. I do not say +all. There are still some men of mind in the pulpit, but they are +nearer infidels than any others. Where do we get our ministers? A +young man, without constitution enough to be wicked, without health +enough to enjoy the things of this world, naturally, fixes his gaze on +high. He is educated, sent to a university where he is taught that it +is criminal to think. Stuffed with a creed, he comes out a shepherd. +Most of them are intellectual shreds and patches, mental ravelings, +selvage. Every pulpit is a pillory in which stands a convict; every +member of the church stands over him with a club, called a creed. He +is an intellectual slave, and dare not preach his honest thought. +There are thousands of good men in the pulpit, honest men. I am simply +describing the average shepherd; they tell me "they've been called," +that Almighty God selected them. He looked all over the world and said: +"Now, there's a man I want!" And what selections! Shakespeare was not +called. Yet he has done more for this world than all the ministers who +have ever lived in it. Beethoven! He was not called. Raphael was not +called. He was all an accident. All the inventors, discoverers, +poets--God never called one of them; he turned his attention to popes, +cardinals, priests, exhorters; and what selections he has made! It's +astonishing. + +In the United States a great many ministers have been good enough to +take me for a text. Among others the Rev. Mr. Talmage, of Brooklyn. I +have nothing to say about his reputation. It has nothing to do with +the question. Some ministers think he has more gesticulation than +grace. Some call him a pious pantaloon, a Christian clown; but such +remarks, I think, are born of envy. He is the only Presbyterian +minister in the United States who can draw an audience. He stands at +the head of the denomination, and I answer him. He's a strange man. I +believe he's orthodox, or intellectual pride would prevent his saying +these things. He believes in a literal resurrection of the dead; that +we shall see countless bones flying through the air. He has some +charges against me, and he has denied some of my statements. He has +produced what he calls arguments, and I am going to answer some of the +charges. Next Sunday afternoon, at 2 o'clock; in this place, I shall +have a matinee, and answer his arguments. He says I am the champion +blasphemer. What is blasphemy? To contradict a priest? to have a +mind of your own? Whoever takes a step in advance is a blasphemer. +Blasphemy is what a last year's leaf says to a this year's bud. To +deny that Mohammed is the prophet of God is not blasphemy in New York. +It is in Constantinople. It is a question, then, largely of Geography. +It depends on where you are. The missionary who laughs at a modern God +is a blasphemer. In a Catholic country whoever says Mary is not the +mother of God is a blasphemer. In a Protestant country to say she is +the mother of God is blasphemy. Everything has been blasphemy. My +doctrine is this: He is a blasphemer who refuses to tell his honest +thought; who is not true to himself; who enslaves his fellow man; who +charges that God was once in favor of slavery. If there is any God, +that man is a blasphemer. They're afraid we'll injure God. How? Is +infinite goodness and mercy to become livid with wrath because a finite +being expresses an opinion? I cannot help the infinite. That man only +is the good man who helps his fellow man. I know then who would do +anything for God, who doesn't need it, but nothing for men, who do need +it. Why should God be so particular about my believing his book? It's +no more his work than the stars of gravitation. Yet I may declare that +the earth is flat, and he'll not damn me for that. But if I make a +mistake about that book I'm gone. I can blaspheme the multiplication +table and deify the power of the wedge--in fact, the less I know the +better my chance will be. I say that book is not inspired, and there +is no infinitely good God who will damn one human soul. At the +judgment, if I am mistaken I own up--I am here, I do not know where I +came from, nor where I am going--I'll be honest about it. I am on a +ship and not on speaking terms with the captain, but I propose to have +a happy voyage, and the best way is to do what you can to make your +fellow passengers happy. If we run into a good port, I'll be as happy +an angel as you'll meet that day. Blasphemy is the cry of a defeated +priest--the black flag of theology--it shows where argument stops and +slander and persecution begin. I am told by Mr. Talmage that whoever +contradicts this word is a fool, a howling wolf, one of the assassins +of God. I presume the gentleman is honest. Take Mr. Talmage, now, he +is a good man. Mr. Humboldt, he was another good man. What Humboldt +knew and what Talmage didn't know would make a library. + +The next charge is that I have said the universe was made of nothing, +according to the bible. False in one thing, false in all, he says. +Think of that rule. Let us apply that to man. If the world was +created, what was it make of? and who made that? If the Lord created +it, what did He make it of? Nothing. That's all He had. No sides, no +top, nothing. Yet God had lived there forever. What did He think +about? What did He do? Nothing. Nothing had ever happened. All at +once He made something. What did He make it of? Mr. Talmage explains. + +He says if I knew anything I would know that God made this world out of +His omnipotence. He might just as well made it out of His memory. +What is omnipotence? Is it a raw material? The weakest man in the +world can lift as much nothing as God. Yet He made this world out of +His omnipotence. It is so stated by a doctor of divinity, and I should +think such divinity would need a doctor! I don't believe this. I +believe this universe has existed throughout all eternity--everything. +All that is, is God. I do not give to that universe a personality that +wants man to get his knees into dust and his fingers in holy water; +that wants some body to ring a bell or eat a wafer. I am a part of +this universe, and I believe all there is, is all the God there is. I +may be mistaken; I don't know. I just give my best opinion. If +there's any heaven, I'll give it there. But there'll be no discussion +in heaven. Hell is the only place where mental improvement will be +possible. + +I have said, it is charged, that the bible says the world was made in +six days. He says I don't understand Hebrew. The bible says the world +was made in six days. God didn't work nights--evening and morning were +the first day. God rested on the seventh day, and sanctified it. +That, they say, didn't mean days; it meant good whiles. He made the +world in six good whiles. Adam was made, I think along about Saturday. +If the account is correct, it's only 6,000 years since man made his +appearance. We know that to be false. A few years ago a gentleman who +was going to California in the cars met a minister. They came to the +place called the Sink of the Humboldt, the most desolate place in the +world. Just imagine perdition with the fire out. The traveler asked +the minister whether God made the earth in six days, and the minister +said he did. Then don't you think, said he, He could have put in +another day's work to great advantage right here? I am charged, too, +with saying that the sun was not made till the fourth day, whereas, +according to the bible, vegetation began on the third day, before there +was any light. But Mr. Talmage says there was light without the sun. +They got light, he says, from the crystallization of rocks. A nice +thing to raise a crop of corn by. There may have been volcanoes, he +says. How'd you like to farm it, and depend on volcanic glare to raise +a crop? That's what they call religious science. God won't damn a man +for things like that. What else? The aurora borealis! A great +cucumber country! It's strange He never thought of glow worms! +Imagine it! a Presbyterian divine gravely saying vegetation could grow +by the light of the crystallization of rocks--by the light of volcanoes +in other worlds, probably now extinct. + +He says of me, too in his pulpit, that I was in favor of the +circulation of immoral literature. Let me tell you the truth. Several +gentlemen, so-called, were trying to exclude from the mails, books +called infidel. I said the law should be modified. It is impossible for +anybody to reach the depth of one who will print or circulate obscene +books. One of my objections to the bible is that it contains obscene +stories. Any book, couched in decent language, should have the liberty +of the United States mails. Where books are immoral and obscene, I +say, burn them, and have always said it. Mr. Talmage said what he knew +to be untrue. He said it out of hatred, and because he cannot answer +the arguments I have urged. I believe in pure books and pure +literature. But when a God writes there is no excuse for Him. In +Shakespeare we say obscene things are impure--we do not say they are +inspired. That I have falsified the records of the bible showing the +period of Jewish slavery, is another of the charges against me. That +slavery extended over a period of 215 years; and he proceeded to +substantiate this statement by being through a long and somewhat +complicated genealogical table. If I made any misstatement I was +misled by the new testament. Mr. Talmage may settle with St. Paul. If +you can depend on what my friend Paul says, the Jews, in 215 years, +increased from seventy persons till they had 600,000 men of war. I +know it isn't so, and so does any man who knows anything. For such an +increase as this each woman must have borne somewhat over fifty-seven +children, and every child lived. + +The next charge is that I have laughed at holy things. Holy things! +The priest always says: "Now don't laugh; look solemn; this is no +laughing matter." There's nothing a priest hates like mirthfulness. He +despises a smile. I read in the bible that God gave a recipe to Aaron +for making hair-oil and said if anybody made any like it, kill him. +Well, I don't believe it. The penalty for infringing on that patent +was death. Do you believe an infinite God gave a recipe for hair-oil? +Is it possible for absurdity to go beyond that? That's what they call +a holy thing. And water for baptism! Do you believe God will look for +this water-mark on the soul? + +The next charge is that I misquote the scriptures. That's because I +don't know Hebrew. Why didn't He write to me in English? If He wishes +to hold a gentleman responsible, why doesn't He address him in his +native tongue? Why write His word in such a way that hundreds of +thousands make their living explaining it? If I'd only understood +Hebrew I would have known God didn't make Eve out of a rib. He made +her out of Adam's side. How did He get it out? Well, I suppose He cut +it out with a kind of a splinter of His omnipotence! Then our mother +was made from a rib. When you consider the material used it was the +most successful job ever done. There's even a serpent in the bible +that knows a language. It won't do. Sin, how did it come into the +world? Where did the serpent come from? He was wicked. Adam's sin did +not make him bad. Then there was sin in the world before Adam. +There's no sense in it--not a particle. Then Talmage touches me upon +the flood. His flood didn't come to America, because America was not +discovered then. He says it was a partial flood. Then why did they +have to take any birds in the ark? How did Noah get the animals in the +ark? Talmage says it was through the instinct to get out of the rain. +According to the bible they went in before the rain began. Dr. Scott +says the angels helped carry them in. Imagine an angel with an animal +under each wing. It must have rained 800 feet a day for forty days. +Why does Talmage try to explain a miracle? The beauty of a miracle is +it cannot be explained. The moment the church begins to explain the +church is gone. All it's got to do is swear it is so. The ark landed +on Ararat, which is 17,000 feet high. There was only one window, +twenty-two inches square. Talmage says the window ran clear around the +ark. The bible doesn't say so. That's Brooklyn; that's no bible. + +If the bible account is true the ark must have struck bottom on the top +of a mountain. Would any but a God of mercy and kindness people a +world, and then drown them all? A God cruel enough to drown His own +children ought not to have the impudence to tell me how to bring up +mine. Why did He save eight of the same kind of people to take a fresh +start? Why didn't He make a fresh lot, kill His snake, and give His +children a fair show? It won't do. + +Talmage says the bible does not favor polygamy and slavery. There was +room enough on the table of stone for saying man should only have one +wife and no slaves. If not, God might have written it on the other +side. David and Solomon were pursued of God, but they had a pretty +good time of it. Most anybody would be willing to be pursued that way. +There is not a word in the old testament against slavery or polygamy. +Frederick Douglas, a slave in Maryland, is the greatest man that state +ever produced. He was enslaved by Christians. Why did God pay so much +attention to blasphemers, and so little to slaveholders and robbers? I +am opposed to any God that was ever in favor of slavery. The bible +upholds polygamy, and that's the reason I don't uphold the bible. The +most glorious temple ever erected is the home--that's my church. I've +misquoted the story of Jonah, Talmage says. When somebody had been +guilty of blasphemy the winds rose; they tried to get Jonah ashore, but +couldn't do it. The sea waxed. He was swallowed by a whale. The +people of Minerva wrapped all their cattle up in sack-cloth, and if +anything would have pleased God I should think that would. Jonah sat +under a gourd, and God made a worm out of some omnipotence he had left +over, and set it work on the ground. Talmage doesn't think Jonah was +in the whale's belly--he said in his mouth. Well, judging from the +doctor's photograph, that explanation would be quite natural to him. +He says he might have been in the whale's stomach, and avoided the +action of the gastric juice by walking up and down. Imagine Jonah, +sitting on a back tooth, leaning against the upper jaw, longingly +looking through the open mouth for signs of land! But that's scripture +and you've got to believe it or be damned. Let me say his brother +preachers will not thank Talmage for his explanations. I don't believe +it, and if I am to be damned for it, I'll accept it cheerfully. + +They say I was defeated for Governor of Illinois because I was an +infidel, and that I am an infidel because I was defeated. That's +logic. Now I'll tell you. They asked me whether I was an infidel, and +I said I was! I was defeated. I preserved my manhood and lost an +office. If everybody were as frank as I was, some men now in office +would be private citizens. I would rather be what I am than hold any +office in the world and be a slimy hypocrite. + +Next they say I slandered my parents because I do not believe what they +believed. My father at one time believed the bible to be the inspired +word of God. He was an honorable man, and told me to read the bible +for myself and be honest. He lived long enough to believe that the old +testament was not the word of God. He had not in his life as much +happiness as I have in one year. I hope my children will dishonor me by +being nearer right than I am. If I have made a mistake, I want my +children to correct it. My mother died when I was 2 years old. Were +she living tonight, or if she does live, she would say, be absolutely +true to yourself and preserve your manhood. If Talmage had been born +in Constantinople he would have been a dervish. He is what he is +because he can't help it. His head is just that shape. I am taking +away the hope and consolation of the world, he says. His consolation +is that ninety-nine out of every hundred are going to hell. His church +was founded by John Calvin, a murderer. Better have no heaven than a +hell. I would rather God would commit suicide this minute than that a +single soul should go to hell. I want no Presbyterian consolation, I +want no fore-ordination, no consolation, no damnation. + +[Col. Ingersoll concluded with a few remarks about the bible women, +saying that women today are as true to the gallows as Mary Magdalene +was to the cross.] + +Wherever there are women there are heroines. Shakespeare's women are +vastly superior to the bible women. I am accused of putting out the +light-houses on the shores of the other world. The Christians are +trimming invisible wicks and pouring in allegorical oil. The Christian +is willing wife, children and parents shall burn if only he can sing +and have a harp. Mr. Talmage can see countless millions burn in hell +without decreasing the length of his orthodox smile. + + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Talmagian Theology (Third lecture) + + + +We must judge people somewhat by their creeds. Mr. Talmage is a +Calvinist, and he therefore regards every human being who has been born +only once as totally depraved. He thinks that God never made a single +creature that didn't deserve to be damned the minute He finished him. +So every one who opposes Mr. Talmage is infamous. The generosity of an +agnostic is meanness, his honesty is larceny and his love is hate. +Talmage is a consistent follower of Calvin and Knox, and a consistent +worshiper of the Jehovah of the ancient Jews. I oppose not him, but +his creed, because it tends to crush out the natural tendencies in men +to joyousness and goodness. There is something good in every human +being, and there is something bad. There are no perfect saints and no +totally bad persons. There is the seed of goodness in every human +heart and the capacity for improvement in every human soul. Isn't it +possible for a man who acts like Christ to be saved, whatever be his +belief? Cannot a soul be infinitely generous? And can any God damn +such a soul? If Mr. Talmage's creed be true, nearly all the great and +glorious men of the past are burning today. If it be true, the +greatest man England has produced in 100 years is in hell. The world +is poorer since I spoke here last, for Darwin has passed away. He was +a true child of nature--one who knew more about his mother than any +other child she had. Yet he was not a Calvinist. He did not get his +inspiration from any book, but from every star in the heavens, from the +insect in the sunbeam, from the flowers in the meadows, and from the +everlasting rocks. + +If the doctrine of the Calvinists is true, what right had any one to +ask an unbeliever to fight for his country in the civil war? What right +has a believer to buy an unbelieving substitute, when some day he will +look over the edge of heaven, and pointing downward, would say to a +friend, "that is my substitute blistering there"? + +Mr. Talmage says that my mind is poisoned, and that the reason why all +infidels' minds are poisoned is that they don't believe the Jew bible. +Let us see whether it is worth believing. I deny that an infinitely +merciful God would protect slavery or would uphold polygamy, which +pollutes the sweetest words in language. I will not believe that God +told men to exterminate their fellow-men, to plunge the sword into +women's breasts and into the hearts of tender babes. I am opposed to +the Jew bible because it is bad. I don't deny that there are many good +passages in it, nor that among all the thorns there are some roses. I +admit that many Christians are doing all they can to idealize the +frightful things in the old testament. It is the protest of human +nature. Now, they tell me that this book is inspired. Let us see what +inspired means. If it means anything, it is that the thoughts of God, +through the instrumentality of men, constitute this Jew bible, and that +these thoughts were written. Now just suppose that some voice +whispered in your ear, how would you know it was God's? How did these +gentlemen of old know it was God who was talking to them? If anyone +now told you that God whispered in his ear, you wouldn't believe him. +Why? Because you know him. Why are we asked to believe those ancient +gentlemen? Because we don't know them. Another reason, according to +Mr. Talmage, why the Jew bible is inspired, is that prophecies in it +have been fulfilled. How do we know that the prophecies were not +fulfilled before they were written? They are so vague that you can't +tell what was prophesied. If you will read the Jew bible carefully, +you will see that there was not a line, not a word, prophesying the +coming of Christ. Catholics were right in saying that if the Jew bible +was to be kept in awe it must be kept from the people. Protestants are +wrong in letting the people read it. + +Another argument of Mr. Talmage for the inspiration of the bible is +that the Jews have been kept as a wandering, persecuted race to fulfill +the prophecies of the old testament. I don't believe an infinitely +merciful God would persecute a race for thousands of years to use them +as witnesses. Christian hate has not allowed the Jews to earn a +[living?] or at least to practice a profession, and now, by a kind of +poetic justice, the Jews control the money of the world. Emperors go +to their bankers with hats in hand and beg them to discount their +notes. This is because God has cursed the Jews. Only a little while +ago Christians have robbed Hebrews, stripped them naked, turned them +into the streets, and pointed to them as a fulfillment of divine +prophecy. If you want to know the difference between some Jews and +some Christians compare the address of Felix Adler with the sermon of +the Rev. Dr. Talmage. Mr. Talmage thinks that the light of every +burning Jewish home in Russia throws light upon the gospel. Every +wound in a Jewish breast is to him a mouth to proclaim the divine +inspiration of the bible. Every Jewish maiden violated is another +fulfillment of God's holy word. What do these horrid persecutions +prove, except the barbarity of Christians? Next it is said that martyrs +prove the truth of the bible. Mr. Talmage affirms that no man ever +died cheerfully for a lie. Why, men have gone cheerfully to their +death for believing that a wafer was God's flesh. Thousands have died +for their belief in Mohammed. Men have died because they believed in +immersion. Either Mr. Talmage is a Catholic, a Mohammedan, a Baptist, +or else he believes that these thousands died for lies. Every religion +has had its martyrs, and every religion cannot be true. Then it is +said that miracles prove the inspiration of the bible. But it is +impossible by the human senses to establish a violation of nature's +laws. When the Hebrews threw down sticks before Pharaoh, and they +became snakes, did he believe? No; because he was there. After the +Jews had been lead through the desert and had been fed with bread +rained from heaven, had been clothed in indestructible pantaloons, and +had quenched their thirst with water that followed them over mountains +and through sands; when they saw Jehovah wrapped in the smoke of Sinai +they still had more faith in a calf that they could make than anything +Jehovah could give them. It was so with the miracles of Christ. Not +twenty people were converted by one of them. In fact, human testimony +cannot substantiate a miracle. Take the miracle about the bears which +ate the children who laughed at the bald-headed old prophet. What do +you suppose Mr. Talmage would say that meant? Why, first, that +children ought to respect preachers, and second, that God is kind to +animals. Nearly every miracle in the old testament is wrought in the +interest of slavery, polygamy, creed or lust. I wish by denying them +to rescue the reputation of Jehovah from the assaults of the bible. + +Who are the witnesses to the truth of the narratives of the Jews' +bible? Eusebius was one. He lived in the reign of Constantine, and +said that the tracks of Pharaoh's chariots could be seen--perfectly +preserved in the sands of the Red sea. He was the man who forged the +passage in Josephus which speaks about the coming of Christ. Good +witness, isn't he. Another one was Polycarp. We don't know much about +him. He suffered martyrdom in the reign of Marcus Aurelius, and when +the fire wouldn't burn and he looked like gold through it, a heathen +was so mad about it that he ran his sword through Polycarp. The blood +gushed out and quenched the fire, while the martyr's soul flew up to +heaven in the form of a dove. And that's all we know about Polycarp. +To know how much reliance should be placed upon the judgment of such +trustworthy witnesses, we should look at what some of their beliefs +were. They thought that the world was flat; that the phoenix story was +true; that the stars had souls and sinned; and one said there were four +gospels because there were four winds and four corners of the earth. +He might have added that it was also because a donkey has four legs. + +So far as the argument drawn from the sufferings of the martyrs is +concerned, the speaker said that thousands upon thousands of men had +died as cheerfully in defense of the koran as Christians had died in +defense of the bible. Their heroic suffering simply proved that they +were sinners in their beliefs, not that those beliefs were true. This +argument, as advanced by Mr. Talmage, proves too much. Every religion +on the face of the globe has had its martyrs, but all religions cannot +be true. Men do die cheerfully for falsehoods when they believe them +to be true. + +[The question of miracles was discussed at some length, and Col. +Ingersoll declared it was impossible to establish by any human evidence +that a miracle had ever been performed.] + +Pharaoh was not convinced by the alleged miracle performed by Aaron, of +turning a stick into a serpent. Why? Because he was there, and no +such miracle was ever done. No twenty people were convinced by the +reported miracles of Christ, and yet people of the nineteenth century +were coolly asked to be convinced on hearsay by miracles which those +who are supposed to have seen them refuse to credit. It won't do. The +laws of nature never have been interrupted, and they never will be. +All the books in the universe will never convince a thinking man that +miracles have been performed. + +[The lecture was sprinkled throughout with the satirical wit for which +Col. Ingersoll is famous, and concluded by the enumeration of a long +list of "unscientific" facts and events recorded in the bible.] + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Religious Intolerance + + + +"How anybody ever came to the conclusion that there was any God who +demanded that you should feel sorrowful and miserable and bleak +one-seventh of the time is beyond my comprehension. Neither can I +conceive how they can say that one-seventh of time is holy. That day +is the most sacred day on which the most good has been done for +mankind. Now, there was a time among the Jews, when, if a man violated +the Sabbath, they would kill him. They said God told them to do it. I +think they were mistaken. If not, if any God did tell them to kill +him, then I think he was mistaken. I hope the time will come when +every man can spend the Sabbath just as he pleases, provided he does +not interfere with the happiness of others. I would fight just as +earnestly that the Christian may go to church as that the infidel may +have the right to spend the Sabbath as he wishes. Are the people who +go to church the only good people? Are there not a great many bad +people who go to church? Not a bank in Pittsburgh will lend a dollar +to the man who belongs to the church, without security, quicker than to +the man who don't go to church. Now, I believe that all laws upon the +statute-book should be enforced. I do not blame anybody in this town. +I am perfectly willing that every preacher in this town should preach. +They are employed to preach, and to preach a certain doctrine, and if +they don't preach that doctrine they will be turned out. I have no +objection to that. But I want the same privilege to express my views, +and what is the difference whether the man pays the day he goes in, or +pays for it the week before by subscription. + +What would the church people think if the theatrical people should +attempt to suppress the churches? What harm would it do to have an +opera here tonight? It would elevate us more than to hear ten thousand +sermons on the world that never dies. There is more practical wisdom +in one of the plays of Shakespeare than in all the sacred books ever +written. What wrong would there be to see one of those grand plays on +Sunday? There was a time when the church would not allow you to cook +on Sunday. You had to eat your victuals cold. There was a time they +thought the more miserable you feel the better God feels. There are +sixty odd thousand preachers in the United States. Some people regard +them as a necessary evil; some as an unnecessary evil. There are sixty +odd thousand churches in the United States; and it does seem to me that +with all the wealth on their side; with all the good people on their +side; with Providence on their side; with all these advantages they +ought to let us at least have the right to speak our thoughts. + +The history of the world shows me that the right has not always +prevailed. When you see innocent men chained to the stake and the +flames licking their flesh, it is natural to ask, why does God permit +this? If you see a man in prison with the chains eating into his flesh +simply for loving God, you've got to ask why does not a just God +interfere? You've got to meet this; it won't do to say that it will +all come out for the best. That may do very well for God, but it's +awful hard on the man. Where was the God that permitted slavery for +two hundred years in these United States? The history of the world +shows that when a mean thing was done, man did it; when a good thing +was done, man did it. + +But there was a time when there was a drought, and this tribe of +savages with their false notions of religion says somebody has been +wicked. Somebody has been lecturing on Sunday. Then the tribe hunted +out the wicked man. They said you've got to stop. We cannot allow you +to continue your wickedness, which brings punishment upon the whole of +us. What is the reason they allow me to speak tonight. Because the +Christians are not as firm in their belief now as they were a thousand +years ago. The luke warmness and hypocrisy of Christians now permit me +to speak tonight. If they felt as they did a thousand years ago they +would kill me. So religious persecution was born of the instinct of +self-defense. Is there any duty we owe to God? Can we help him, can +we add to his glory or happiness? They tell me this God is infinitely +wise, I cannot add to his wisdom; infinitely happy--I cannot add to his +happiness. What can I do? Maybe he wants me to make prayers that +won't be answered. I cannot see any relation that can exist between +the finite and the infinite. I acknowledge that I am under obligations +to my fellow man. We owe duties to our fellow man. And what? Simply +to make them happy. + +The only good, is happiness; and the only evil, is misery, or +unhappiness. Only those things are right that tend to increase the +happiness of man; only those things are wrong which tend to increase +the misery of man. That is the basis of right and wrong. There never +would have been the idea of wrong except that man can inflict +sufferings upon others. Utility, then, is the basis of the idea of +right and wrong. + +The church tells us that this world is a school to prepare us for +another, that it is a place to build up character. Well, if that is +the only way character can be developed it is bad for children who die +before they get any character. What would you think of a school-master +who would kill half his pupils the first day? + +Now, I read the bible, and I find that God so loved this world that He +made up His mind to damn the most of us. I have read this book, and +what shall I say of it? I believe it is generally better to be honest. +Now, I don't believe the bible. Had I not better say so? They say +that if you do you will regret it when you come to die. If that be +true, I know a great many religious people who will have no cause to +regret it--they don't tell their honest convictions about the bible. +There are two great arguments of the church--the great man argument and +the death-bed. They say the religion of your fathers is good enough. +Why should your father object to your inventing a better plow than he +had. They say to one, do you know more than all the theologians dead? +Being a perfectly modest man I say I think I do. Now we have come to +the conclusion that every man has a right to think. Would God give a +bird wings and make it a crime to fly? Would he give me brains and +make it a crime to think? Any God that would damn one of his children +for the expression of his honest thought wouldn't make a decent thief. +When I read a book and don't believe it, I ought to say so. I will do +so and take the consequence like a man. And so I object to paying for +the support of another man's belief. I am in favor of the taxation of +all church property. If that property belongs to God, He is able to +pay the tax. If we exempt anything, let us exempt the home of the widow +and orphan. + +[A voice here interrupted the speaker. + +Col. Ingersoll--What did the gentleman say? A voice--O, he's drunk. + +Col. Ingersoll--I didn't think any Christian ought to get drunk and +come here to disturb us. + +The speaker resumed:] + +The church has today $600,000,000 or $700,000,000 of property in this +country. It must cost $2,000,000 a week, that is to say $500 a minute, +to run these churches. You give me this money and if I don't do more +good with it than four times as many churches I'll resign. Let them +make the churches attractive and they'll get more hearers. They will +have less empty pews if they have less empty heads in the pulpit. The +time will come when the preacher will become a teacher. + +Admitting that the bible is the book of God, is that His only good job? +Will not a man be damned as quick for denying the equator as denying +the bible? Will he not be damned as quick for denying geology as for +denying the scheme of salvation? When the bible was first written it +was not believed. Had they known as much about science as we know now +that bible would not have been written. + + +Col. Ingersoll next gave his views of the Puritans, declared they left +Holland to escape persecution and came came here to persecute others. +He referred to the persecutions heaped upon those of other religious +belief by the Puritans, paid the Catholics the compliment to say that +Maryland, which they ruled, was the first colony to enact a law +tolerating religious views not held by themselves, and went on to +explain that God was never mentioned in the constitution of the United +States because each colony had a different religious belief, and each +sect preferred to have God not mentioned at all than to having another +religious belief than their own recognized. + +"In 1876," said the speaker, "our forefathers retired God from +politics. They said all power comes from the people. They kept God out +of the constitution and allowed each state to settle the question for +itself." + +The present laws of different states were neatly reviewed, so far as +they relate to the prevention of infidels giving testimony and to +religious intolerance in any way, and these features were all branded +and discussed as a gigantic evil. + +The lecture was attentively listened to by the immense audience from +beginning to the end, and the speaker's most blasphemous fights were +the most loudly applauded. + + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Hereafter + + + +My Friends: I tell you tonight, as I have probably told many of you +dozens of times, that the orthodox doctrine of eternal punishment in +the hereafter is an infamous one! I have no respect for the man who +preaches it, or pretends to you he believes it. Neither have I any +respect for the man who will pollute the imagination of innocent +childhood with that infamous lie! And I have no respect for the man +who will deliberately add to the sorrows of this world with this +terrible dogma; no respect for the man who endeavors to put that +infinite cloud and shadow over the heart of humanity. I will be frank +with you and say, I hate the doctrine; I despise it, I defy it; I +loathe it--and what man of sense does not. The idea of a hell was born +of revenge and brutality on the one side, and arrant cowardice on the +other. In my judgment the American people are too brave, too generous, +too magnanimous, too humane to believe in that outrageous doctrine of +eternal damnation. + +For a great many years the learned intellects of Christendom have been +examining into the religions of other countries and other ages, in the +world--the religions of the myriads who have passed away. They +examined into the religions of Egypt, the religion of Greece, that of +Rome and the Scandinavian countries. In the presence of the ruins of +those religions, the learned men of Christendom insisted that those +religions were baseless, false and fraudulent. But they have all +passed away. + +Now, while this examination was being made, the Christianity of our day +applauded, and when the learned men got through with the religion of +other countries, they turned their attention to our religion, and by +the same methods, by the same mode of reasoning and the same +arrangements that they used with the old religions they were +overturning the religion of our day. How is that? Because every +religion in this world is the work of man. Every book that was ever +written was written by man. Man existed before books. If otherwise, +we might reasonably admit that there was such a thing as a sacred bible. + +I wish to call your attention to another thing. Man never had an +original idea, and he never will have one, except it be supplied to him +by his surroundings. Nature gave man every idea that he ever had in +the world; and nature will continue to give man his ideas so long as he +exists. No man can conceive of anything, the hint of which he has not +received from the surroundings. And there is nothing on this earth, +coming from any other sphere whatever. + +As I have before said, man has produced every religion in the world. +Why is this? Because each generation sends forth the knowledge and +belief of the people at the time it was made, and in no book is there +any knowledge formed, except just at the time it was written. +Barbarians have produced barbarian religions, and always will produce +them. They have produced, and always will produce, ideas and belief in +harmony with their surroundings, and all the religions of the past were +produced by barbarians. We are making religions every day; that is to +say, we are constantly changing them, adapting them to our purposes, +and the religion of today is not the religion of a few months or a year +ago. Well, what changes these religions? Science does it, education +does it; the growing heart of man does it. Some men have nothing else +to do but produce religions; science is constantly changing them. If +we are cursed with such barbarian religions today--for our religions +are really barbarous--what will they be an hundred or a thousand years +hence? + +But, friends, we are making inroads upon orthodoxy that orthodox +Christians are painfully aware of, and what think you will be left of +their fearful doctrines fifty or a hundred years from tonight? What +will become of their endless hell--their doctrine of the future anguish +of the soul; their doctrine of the eternal burning and never-ending +gnashing of teeth. Man will discard the idea of such a future--because +there is now a growing belief in the justice of a Supreme Being. + +Do you not know that every religion in the world has declared every +other religion a fraud? Yes, we all know it. That is the time all +religions tell the truth--each of the other. + +Now, do you want to know why this is: Suppose Mr. Johnson should tell +Mr. Jones that he saw a corpse rise from the grave, and that when he +first saw it, it was covered with loathsome worms, and that while he +was looking at it, it suddenly was re-clothed in healthy, beautiful +flesh. And then, suppose Jones should say to Johnson, "Well, now, I saw +that same thing myself. I was in a graveyard once, and I saw a dead +man rise and walk away as if nothing had ever happened to him!" +Johnson opens wide his eyes and says to Jones, "Jones, you are a +confounded liar!" And Jones says to Johnson, "You are an unmitigated +liar!" "No, I'm not; you lie yourself." "No! I say you lie!" Each +knew the other lied, because each man knew he lied himself. Thus when +a man says: "I was upon Mount Sinai for the benefit of my health, and +there I met God, who said to me, "Stand aside, you, and let me drown +these people;" and the other man says to him, "I was upon a mountain, +and there I met the Supreme Brahma." And Moses steps in and says, +"That is not true!" and contends that the other man never did see +Brahma, and the other man swears that Moses never saw God; and each man +utters a deliberate falsehood, and immediately after speaks truth. + +Therefore, each religion has charged every other religion with having +been an unmitigated fraud. Still, if any man had ever seen a miracle +himself, he would be prepared to believe that another man had seen the +same or a similar thing. Whenever a man claims to have been cognizant +of, or to have seen a miracle, he either utters a falsehood, or he is +an idiot. Truth relies upon the unerring course of the laws of nature, +and upon reason. Observe, we have a religion--that is, many people +have. I make no pretensions to having a religion myself--possibly you +do not. I believe in living for this beautiful world--in living for the +present, today; living for this very hour, and while I do live to make +everybody happy that I can. I cannot afford to squander my short +life--and what little talent I am blessed with in studying up and +projecting schemes to avoid that seething lake of fire and brimstone. +Let the future take care of itself, and when I am required to pass over +"on the other side," I am ready and willing to stand my chances with +you howling Christians. + +We have in this country a religion which men have preached for about +eighteen hundred years, and men have grown wicked just in proportion as +their belief in that religion has grown strong; and just in proportion +as they have ceased to believe in it, men have become just, humane and +charitable. And if they believed in it tonight as they believed, for +instance, at the time of the immaculate Puritan fathers, I would not be +permitted to talk here in the city of New York. It is from the +coldness and infidelity of the churches that I get my right to preach; +and I thank them for it, and I say it to their credit. + +As I have said, we have a religion. What is it? In the first place, +they say this vast universe was created by a God. I don't know, and +you don't know, whether it was or not. Also, if it had not been for +the first sin of Adam, they say there would never have been any Devil, +in this world, and if there had been no Devil, there would have been no +sin, and if no sin, no death. As for myself I am glad there is death +in the world, for that gives me a chance. Somebody has to die to give +me room, and when my turn comes I am willing to let some one else take +my place. But if there is a Being who gave me this life, I thank Him +from the bottom of my heart--because this life has been a joy and a +pleasure to me. Further, because of this first sin of Adam, they say, +all men are consigned to eternal perdition! But, in order to save man +from that frightful hell of the hereafter, Christ came to this world +and took upon himself flesh, and in order that we might know the road +to eternal salvation. He gave us a book called the bible, and wherever +that bible has been read men have immediately commenced throttling each +other; and wherever that bible has been circulated they have invented +inquisitions and instruments of torture, and commenced hating each +other with all their hearts. Then we are told that this bible is the +foundation of civilization, but I say it is the foundation of hell and +damnation!, and we never shall get rid of that dogma until we get rid +of the idea that the book is inspired. Now, what does the bible teach? +I am not going to ask this preacher or that preacher what the bible +teaches; but the question is, "Ought a man be sent to an eternal hell +for not believing this bible to be the work of a merciful God?" A very +few people read it now; perhaps they should read it, and perhaps not; +if I wanted to believe it, I should never read a word of it--never look +upon its pages, I would let it lie on its shelf, until it rotted! +Still, perhaps, we ought to read it in order to see what is read in +schools that our children might become charitable and good; to be read +to our children that they may get ideas of mercy, charity humanity and +justice! Oh, yes! Now read: + +"I will make mine arrows drunk with blood and my sword shall devour +flesh."--Deut. xxxii, 42. + +Very good for a merciful God! + +"That thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies, and the +tongue of the dogs in the same."--Psalms lxviii, 24. + +Merciful Being! I will quote several more choice bits from this +inspired book, although I have several times made use of them. + +"But the Lord thy God shall deliver them unto thee, and shall destroy +them with a mighty destruction, until they be destroyed. + +"And he shall deliver their kings into thine hand, and thou shalt +destroy their name from under heaven; there shall no man be able to +stand before thee, until thou have destroyed them."--Deut. vii, 23, 24. + +"And Joshua did unto them as the Lord bade him; he houghed their +horses, and burnt their chariots with fire. And Joshua at that time +turned back, and took Hazor, and smote the king thereof with the sword; +for Hazor beforetime was the head of all those kingdoms. + +"And all the cities of those kings, and all the kings of them, did +Joshua take, and smote them with the edge of the sword, and he utterly +destroyed them, as Moses, the servant of the Lord, commanded. + +"And they smote all the souls that were therein with the edge of the +sword, utterly destroying them; there was not any left to breathe; and +he burnt Hazor with fire." + +(Do not forget that these things were done by the command of God!) + +"But as for the cities that stood still in their strength, Israel burnt +none of them, save Hazor only, that did Joshua burn. + +"And all the spoil of those cities and the cattle, the children of +Israel took for a prey unto themselves; but every man they smote with +the edge of the sword, until they had destroyed them, neither left they +any to breathe." (As the moral and just God had commanded them.) + +"As the Lord commanded Moses His servant, so did Moses command Joshua, +and so did Joshua; he left nothing undone of all that the Lord had +commanded Joshua. + +"So Joshua took all that land, the hills, and all the south country, +and all the land of Goshen, and the valley, and the plain and mountain +of Israel, and the valley of the same; + +"Even from the Mount Halak, that goeth up to Seir, even unto Baalgad in +the valley of Lebanon under Mount Hermon; and all their kings he took, +and smote theme and slew them. + +"Joshua made war a long time on all those kings. There was not a city +that made peace with the children of Israel, save the Hivites, the +inhabitants of Gibeon; all the others they took in battle. + +"So Joshua took the whole land, according to all that the Lord said +unto Moses; and Joshua gave it for an inheritance unto Israel, +according to their divisions by their tribes. And the land rested from +war."--Josh. xi, 7-23. + +"When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim +peace unto it. + +"And it shall be, if it make thee answer of peace, and open unto thee, +then it shall be that all the people that is found therein shall be +tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee. + +"And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against +thee, then thou shalt besiege it. + +"And when the Lord thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou +shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword. + +"But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in +the city, even all the spoil thereof, shaft thou take unto thyself; and +thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the Lord thy God hath +given thee. + +"Thus shalt thou do unto all the cities which are very far off from +thee, which are not of the cities of those nations. + +"But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give +thee for an inheritance, thou shaft save alive nothing that breatheth. + +"But thou shalt utterly destroy them." + +(Neither the old man nor the woman, nor the beautiful maiden, nor the +sweet dimpled babe, smiling upon the lap of its mother.) + +"And He said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel (a merciful +God, indeed), put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out +from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, +and every man his neighbor."--Es. xxxii, 29. + +(Now recollect, these instructions were given to an army of invasion, +and the people who were slayed were guilty of the crime of fighting for +their homes and their firesides. Oh, most merciful God! The old +testament is full of curses, vengeance, jealousy and hatred, and of +barbarity and brutality. Now, do you for one moment believe that these +words were written by the most merciful God? Don't pluck from the +heart the sweet flower of piety and crush it by superstition. Do not +believe that God ever ordered the murder of innocent women and helpless +babes. Do not let this superstition turn our heart into stone. When +anything is said to have been written by the most merciful God, and the +thing is not merciful, that I deny it, and say He never wrote it. I +will live by the standard of reason, and if thinking in accordance with +reason takes me to perdition, then I will go to hell with my reason, +rather than to heaven without it.) + +Now, does this bible teach political freedom; or does it teach +political tyranny? Does it teach a man to resist oppression? Does it +teach a man to tear from the throne of tyranny the crowned thing and +robber called king. Let us see. + +"Let every soul be subject to the higher powers; For there is no power +but God: the powers that be are ordained of God."--Rom. xiii, I. + +"Therefore to must needs be subject not only for wrath, but also for +conscience sake."--Rom. viii, 4, 4. + +(I deny this wretched doctrine. Wherever the sword of rebellion is +drawn to protect the rights of man, I am a rebel. Wherever the sword +of rebellion is drawn to give men liberty, to clothe him in all his +just rights, I am on the side of that rebellion.) + +Does the bible give woman her rights? Does it treat woman as she ought +to be treated, or is it barbarian? We will see: + +"Let woman learn in silence with all subjection."--I Tim. ii, 11 + +(If a woman should know anything let her ask her husband. Imagine the +ignorance of a lady who had only that source of information.) + +"But suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, +but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. (Indeed!) + +"And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, was in the +transgression." (Poor woman!) + +Here is something from the old testament: + +"When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy +God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them +captives; + +"And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto +her, that thou wouldst have her to be thy wife; + +"Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her +head, and pare her nails."--Deut. xxi, 10, 11, 12. + +(That is self-defense, I suppose!) + +I need not go further in bible quotations to show that woman, +throughout the old testament, is a degraded being, having no rights +which her husband, father, brother, or uncle is bound to respect. +Still, that is bible doctrine, and that bible is the word of a just and +omniscient God! + +Does the bible teach the existence of devils? Of course it does. Yes, +it teaches not only the existence of a good being, but a bad being. +This good being has to have a home; that home was heaven. This bad +being had to have a home; and that home was hell. This hell is +supposed to be nearer to earth than I would care to have it, and to be +peopled with spirits, spooks, hobgoblins, and all the fiery shapes with +which the imagination of ignorance and fear could people that horrible +place; and the bible teaches the existence of hell and this big devil +and all these little devils. The bible teaches the doctrine of +witchcraft and makes us believe that there are sorcerers and witches, +and that the dead could be raised by the power of sorcery. Does +anybody believe it now? + +"Then said Saul unto his servants, seek me a woman that hath a familiar +spirit, that I may go to her and inquire of her. And his servants said +to him, Behold, there is a woman that hath a familiar spirit at Endor." + +In another place he declares that witchcraft is an abomination unto the +Lord. He wants no rivals in this business. Now what does the new +testament teach: + +"Then was Jesus lead up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted +of the devil. + +"And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward +a-hungered. + +"And when the tempter came to him, he said if thou be the Son of God, +command these stones to be made bread. + +"But He answered and said it is written, man shall not live by bread +alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. + +"Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city and setteth him on a +pinnacle of the temple; + +"And saith unto him. If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down, for +it is written, He shall give His angels charge concerning thee; and in +their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy +foot against a stone. + +"Jesus said unto him, it is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the +Lord, thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve."--Matt. iv, 1-7. + +(Is it possible that anyone can believe that the devil absolutely took +God Almighty, and put him upon the pinnacle of the temple, and +endeavored to persuade him to jump down? Is it possible?) + +"Again, the devil taketh him into an exceedingly high mountain, and +showeth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; + +"And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt +fall down and worship me. + +"Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan, for it is written, +Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou +serve."--Matthew iv, 8-11. + +(Now only the devil must have known at that time that He was God, and +God at that time must have known that the other was the devil, who had +the impudence to promise God a world in which he did not have a +tax-title to an inch of land.) + +Now, what of the Sabbath--the Lord's day? Why is Sunday the Lord's +day? If Sunday alone is the Lord's day, whose day is Monday, Tuesday, +Friday, etc.? No matter! The idea, that God hates to hear your +children laugh on Sunday! On Sunday let your children play games. I +see a poor man who hasn't money enough to go to a big church, and he +has too much independence to go to the little church which the big +church built for charity. If he enters the portals of the big church +with poor clothes on, the usher approaches him with a severe face, and +"Brother, I'm sorry, but only high-toned servants of the living God +congregate in this church for worship, and with that seedy suit on they +cannot admit you. All the seats in this magnificent edifice are owned +and represented by 'solid' men, by men of capital. We pay our pastor +$5,000 a year--the annual eight weeks vacation thrown in--and it would +not be profitable for us to seriously encourage the attendance of so +insignificant a person as yourself. Just around the corner there is a +little cheap church with a little cheap pastor, where they can dish up +hell to you in an approved style--in a style more suitable to your +needs and condition; and the dish will not be as expensive to you, +either!" + +If I had chanced to be that poor man in the seedy garments, and had +been endeavoring to serve my Maker for even half a century, I would +have felt like muttering audibly, "You go to hell!" (I am not much +given to profanity, but when I am sorely aggravated and vexed in +spirit, I declare to you that it is such a relief to me, such a solace +to my troubled soul, and gives me such heavenly peace, to now and then +allow a word or phrase to escape my lips which can serve the no other +earthly purpose, seemingly, than to render emphatic my otherwise mildly +expressed ideas. I make this confession parenthetically, and in a +whisper, my friends, trusting you will not allow it to go further.) + +Now, I tell you, if you don't want to go to church, go to the woods and +take your wife and children and a lunch with you, and sit down upon the +old log and let the children gather flowers, and hear the leaves +whispering poems like memories of long ago! and when the sun is about +going down, kissing the summits of the distant hills, go home with your +hearts filled with throbs of joy and gladness, and the cheeks of your +little ones covered with the rose-blushes of health! There is more +recreation and solid enjoyment in that than putting on your Sunday +clothes and going to a canal-boat with a steeple on top of it and +listening to a man tell you that your chances are about ninety-nine +thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine to one for being eternally damned! + +Oh, strike with a hand of fire, weird musician, thy harp, strung with +Apollo's golden hair! Fill the vast cathedral aisles with symphonies +sweet and dim, deft toucher of the organ's keys! Blow, bugler, blow, +until thy silver notes do touch and kiss the moonlit waves, and charm +the lovers wandering mid the vine-clad hills!--but know your sweetest +strains are but discord compared with childhood's happy laugh--the +laugh that fills the eyes with light and every heart with joy! O, +rippling river of laughter; thou art the blessed boundary line between +beasts and men, and every wayward wave of thine doth drown some fretful +fiend of care. O, Laughter, rose-lipped daughter of joy, there are +dimples enough in thy cheek to catch and hold and glorify all the tears +of grief! + +Do not make slaves of your children on Sunday. Don't place them in +long, straight rows, like fence-posts, and "Sh! children, it's Sunday!" +when by chance you hear a sound or rustle. Let winsome Johnny have +light and air, and let him grow beautiful; let him laugh until his +little sides ache, if he feels like it; let him pinch the cat's tail +until the house is in an uproar with his yells--let him do anything +that will make him happy. When I was a little boy, children went to +bed when they were not sleepy, and always got up when they were? I +would like to see that changed--we may see it some day. It is really +easier to wake a child with a kiss than a blow; with kind words than +with harshness and a curse. Another thing: let the children eat what +they want to. Let them commence at whichever end of the dinner they +please. They know what they want much better than you do. Nature knows +perfectly well what she is about, and if you go a-fooling with her you +may get into trouble. The crime charged to me is this: I insist that +the bible is not the word of God; that we should not whip our children; +that we should treat our wives as loving equals; that God never upheld +polygamy and slavery; deny that God ever commanded his generals to +slaughter innocent babes and tear and rip open women with the sword of +war; that God ever turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt (although +she might have deserved that fate); that God ever made a woman out of a +man's, or any other animal's rib! And I emphatically deny that God +ever signed or sealed a commission appointing his satanic majesty +governor-general over an extensive territory popularly styled hell, +with absolute power to torture, burn, maim, boil, or roast at his +pleasure the victims of his master's displeasure! I deny these things, +and for that I am assailed by the clergy throughout the United States. +Now, you have read the bible romance of the fall of Adam? Yes, well, +you know that nearly or quite all the religions of this world account +for the existence of evil by such a story as that! Adam, the miserable +coward, informed God that his wife was at the bottom of the whole +business! "She did tempt me and I did eat!" And then commenced a row, +and we have been engaged in it ever since! You know what happened to +Adam and his wife for her transgressions? + +In another account of what is said to have been the same +transaction--which is the most sensible account of the two--the Supreme +Brahma concluded, as he had a little leisure, that he would make a +world, and a man and woman. He made the world, the man, and then the +woman, and then placed the pair on the Island of Ceylon. (Bear in +mind, there were no ribs used in this affair.) This island is said to +be the most beautiful that the mind of man can conceive of. Such birds +you never saw, such songs you never heard! and then such flowers, such +verdure! The branches of the trees were so arranged that when the +winds swept through, there floated out from every tree melodious +strains of music from a thousand! Aeolian harps! After Brahma put +them there, he said: "Let them have a period of courtship, for it is my +desire and will that true love should forever precede marriage." And +with the nightingale singing, and the stars twinkling, and the little +brooklets murmuring, and the flowers blooming, and the gentle breezes +fanning their brows, they courted, and loved! What a sweet courtship. +Then Brahma married the happy pair, and remarked: "Remain here; you +can be happy on this island, and it is my will that you never leave +it." Well, after a little while the man became uneasy, and said to the +wife of his youth, "I believe I'll look about a little." He determined +to seek greener pastures. He proceeded to the western extremity of the +island, and discovered a little narrow neck of land connecting the +island with the mainland, and the devil--they had a genuine devil in +those days, too, it seems, who is always "playing the devil" with +us--produced a mirage, and over on the mainland were such hills and +vales, such dells and dales, such lofty mountains crowned with +perpetual snow, such cataracts clad in bows of glory, that he rushed +breathlessly back to his wife, exclaiming:--"O, Heva! the country over +there is a thousand times better and lovelier than this; let us +migrate." She, woman-like, said "Adami, we must let well enough alone; +we have all we want; let us stay here." But he said: "No, we will +go." She followed him, and when they came to this narrow neck of land, +he took her upon his back and carried her across. But at the instant +he put her down there was a crash, and looking back they discovered +that this narrow neck of land had fallen into the sea. The mirage had +disappeared, and there was nothing but rocks and sand, and the Supreme +Brahma cursed them to the lowest hell. Then Adami spoke--and it showed +him to be every inch a man--"Curse me, but curse not her; it was not +her fault, it was mine." (Our Adam says, with a pusillanimous +whine,--Curse her, for it is her fault: she tempted me and I did eat!" +The world, today, is teeming with just such cowards!) Then said +Brahma, "I will save her, but not thee." And then spoke his wife, out +of the fullness of the love of a heart in which there was enough to +make all her daughters rich in holy affection, "If thou wilt not spare +him, spare neither me; I do not wish to live without him. I love him." +Then magnanimously said the Supreme Brahma, "I will spare you both, and +watch over you and your children forever!" + +Now, tell me truly, which is the grander story? The book containing +this story is full of good things; and yet Christians style as heathens +those who have adopted this book as their guide, and spend thousands of +dollars annually in sending missionaries to convert them! + +It has been too often conceded that because the new testament contains, +in many passages, a lofty and terse expression of love as the highest +duty of man, Christianity must have a tendency to ennoble his nature. +But Christianity is like sweetened whisky and water--it perverts and +destroys that which it should nourish and strengthen. + +Christianity makes an often fatal attack on a man's morality--if he +happens to be blessed with any--by substituting for the sentiments of +love and duty to our neighbors, a sense of obligation of blind +obedience to an infinite, mysterious, revengeful, tyrannical God! The +real principle of Christian morality, is servile obedience to a +dangerous Power! Dispute the assertions of even your priest as to the +requirements, dislikes, desires and wishes of the Almighty, and you +might as well count yourself as lost, sulphurically lost! If you are +one of God's chosen, or in other words, have been saved, and are even +so fortunate as to attain to the glories and joys of the gold-paved +streets of heaven, you are expected, in looking over the banisters of +heaven down into the abyss of eternal torture, to view with complacency +the agonized features of your mother, sister, brother, or infant +child--who are writhing in hell--and laugh at their calamity! You are +not allowed to carry them a drop of water to cool their parched tongue! +And if you are a Christian, you at this moment believe you will enjoy +the situation! + +If a man in a quarrel cuts down his neighbor in his sins, the poor, +miserable victim goes directly to hell! The murderer may reasonably +count on a lease of a few weeks of life, interviews his pastor, +confesses the crime, repents, accepts the grace of God, is forgiven, +and then smoothly and gently slides from the rudely-constructed +scaffold into a haven of joy and bliss, there to sing the praises of +the Lamb of God forever and forever! Poor, unfortunate victim! Happy +murderer! + +Ah, what a beautiful religion humanitarianism and charity* might become! + +[* The following incident, showing Col. Ingersoll's disposition to +practice what he preaches whenever the opportunity presents itself, we +have never before seen in print. One day, during the winter of 1863-4, +when the colonel had a law office in Peoria. Ill.--and before the close +of the late war of the rebellion--a thinly clad, middle-aged, lady-like +woman came into his office and asked assistance, "My good woman, why do +you ask it?" "Sir, my husband is a private in the --th Illinois +infantry, and stationed somewhere in Virginia, but I do not know where +as I have not heard from him for nearly six months, although previous +to that time I seldom failed to get a letter from him as often as once +a week, and whenever he received his pay the most of his money came to +me. To tell the truth, I do not know whether he is living or not. But +one thing I do know, I do not hear from him. I have seven children to +provide for, but no money in the house, not a particle of bread in the +pantry, nor a lump of coal in the shed, and the landlord threatening to +turn us out in the storm. This city pledged itself to give wives a +certain sum monthly, providing they consented to their husband's +responding to the call of the President for troops, but, disregarding +these pledges, we and our children are left to starve and freeze, and +to be turned out of our houses and homes by relentless landlords. Now, +sir, can you tell me what I am to do? + +The Colonel drew his bandanna from his great coat pocket, lightly +touched his eyes with it, and rising to his feet, pointed to a +chair--"Sit down, madame, and remain till I return. I will be back in +a few minutes." He picked up a half-sheet of legal-cap and a pencil, +and departed for the law and other offices of the building--of which +there were several. Entering the first that appeared, "Good morning, +Smith, give me half-a-dollar." "Well, now, colonel, you are--" "Never +mind if I am--I must have it!" It came. He entered another. "Hello! +colonel, what's new?" "I want a half-dollar from you!" "What for?" +"None of your business--I want the money." He got it. He entered a +third. "Hello, Bob! Anything new on eter--" "Never mind, I must have +fifty cents!" "But--" "But nothing, Jones, give me what I ask for." +Of course he got what he asked for. So on through fourteen offices, +from which he obtained $7. Returning to his office, he put his hand in +his own pocket and drew forth a $5 note, and handed the woman $12. +"Take this, my good woman, and make it go as far as you can. If you +obtain relief from no other source, call on me again and I will do the +best I can for you!" And still Col. Ingersoll is styled by hell-fire +advocates an infidel, atheist, dog!] + +To do so sweet a thing as to love our neighbors as we love ourselves; +to strive to attain to as perfect a spirit as a Golden Rule would bring +us into; to make virtue lovely by living it, grandly and nobly and +patiently the outgrowth of a brotherhood not possible in this world +where men are living away from themselves, and trampling justice and +mercy and forgiveness under their feet! + +Speaking of the different religions, of course they are represented by +the different churches; and the best hold of the churches, and the +surest way of giving totally depraved humanity a realizing sense of +their utterly lost condition, is to talk and preach hell with all its +horrible, terrible concomitants. True, the different priests advocate +the doctrine, only when they see that it is the only thing to rouse the +sinners from their lethargy; for where is the man who will not accept +the grace of Jesus Christ, if he becomes convinced that his state in +the hereafter is a terrible one! The ministers of the different +churches know full well which side of their bread is buttered. A +priest is a divinity among his people--a man around whom his +parishioners throw a glamour of sanctity, and one who can do no wrong; +albeit, his chief and growing characteristics are tyranny, arrogancy, +self-conceit, deception, bigotry and superstition! Tyrannical do I +call them? Most assuredly! Suppose, for example, the Methodist, or +Presbyterian church had the power to decide whether you, or I, or any +other man, should be a Methodist or Presbyterian, and we should decline +to follow the path pointed out to us, or either of us, what I solemnly +and candidly ask you, would be the result? Our fate would be more +terrible than their endless hell! The inquisition would rise again in +all its horrid blackness! Instruments of torture would darken our +vision on every hand! But, thank God--not that terrible being whom +Christians would have us believe is our Maker--this is a free +land--free as the air we breathe; and you and I can partake of the +orthodox waters of life freely, or we can let them alone! When I see a +man perched upon a pedestal called a "pulpit" a man who is one of +nature's noblemen, physically, and fully able to breast the storms of +life and earn his honest living--telling his hearers with perspiring +brow and all his might and main of the terrors of the seething cauldron +of hell, and how certain it is that they are to be unceremoniously +dumped therein to be boiled through all ages, yet never boiled +done--unless they seek salvation--when I look upon that man, honor +bright, I pity him, for I cannot help comparing him with the lower +animals! Then there is a reaction, and I feel an utter contempt for +him, for he may know, when he declares hell is a reality, that he is +lying! + +Now, of the deception of the preacher. At the close of a sermon in an +orthodox church, Rev. Mr. Solemnface steps to the side of Bro. +Everbright, who has been absent from the brimstone-mill for several +months: + +"Ah, Bro. Everbright, how do you do? Long time since I have seen you; +how's your family? Quite well? Is it well with thee today? Rather +lukewarm, eh? Sorry, sorry. Well, brother, can you do something for +us financially, today? Our people think my pulpit is too common, and +say a couple hundred will put it in good shape, and make it desirable +and attractive. Can you contribute a few dollars to the fund?" + +"Well, Bro. Solemnface, for four long months I have been ill; not a +day's work have I done, and not a cent of money have I that I can call +my own. Next year I trust I can do something for the cause of my +Maker." + +"Ah-h-h-h-h-h!" and Bro. S.'s face assumes a terrible look of +disappointment, and he is gone in a moment. Out upon such a fraud! +The pulpits of the land are full of them. The world is cursed with +them! They possess all the elements of vagabonds, dead-beats, +falsifiers, beggars, vultures, hyenas and jackals! + +In past ages the cross has been in partnership with the sword, and the +religion of Christ was established by murderers, tyrants and +hypocrites. I want you to know that the church carried the black flag, +and I ask you what must have been the civilizing influence of such a +religion? Of all the selfish things in this world, it is one man +wanting to get to heaven, caring nothing what becomes of the rest of +mankind, saying: "If I can only get my little soul in!" I have always +noticed that the people who have the smallest souls make the most fuss +about getting them saved. Here is what we are taught by the church of +today. We are taught by them that fathers and mothers can all be happy +in heaven, no matter who may be in hell; that the husband could be +happy there, with the wife that would have died for him at any moment +of his life, in hell. But they say, "Hell, we don't believe in fire. +I don't think you understand me. What we believe in now is remorse." +What will you have remorse for? For the mean things you have done when +you are in hell? Will you have any remorse for the mean things you have +done when you are in heaven? Or will you be so good then that you +won't care how you used to be? I tell you today, that no matter in +what heaven you may be, no matter in what star you are spending the +summer; if you meet another man whom you have wronged, you will drop a +little behind in the tune. And, no matter in what part of hell you +are, you will meet some one who has suffered, whose nakedness you have +clothed, and the fire will cool up a little. According to this +Christian doctrine, you won't care how mean you were once. Is it a +compliment to an infinite God to say that every being He ever made +deserved to be damned the minute He had got him done, and that He will +damn everybody He has not had a chance to make over? Is it possible +that somebody else can be good for me, and that this doctrine of the +atonement is the only anchor for the human soul? + +We sit by the fireside and see the flames and sparks fly up the +chimney--everybody happy, and the cold wind and sleet beating on the +window, and out on the doorstep a mother with a child on her breast +freezing. How happy it makes a fire, that beautiful contrast. And we +say God is good, and there we sit, and there she sits and moans, not +one night, but forever. Or we are sitting at the table with our wives +and children, everybody eating, happy and delighted, and Famine comes +and pushes out its shriveled palms, and, with hungry eyes, implores us +for a crust; how that would increase the appetite! And that is the +Christian heaven. Don't you see that these infamous doctrines petrify +the human heart? And I would have every one who hears me swear that he +will never contribute another dollar to build another church, in which +is taught such infamous lies. Let every man try to make every day a +joy, and God cannot afford to damn such a man. Consequently humanity is +the only real religion. + +"Man's inhumanity to man Makes countless millions mourn." + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on the Review of His Reviewers + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: "What have I said?" "What has been my offense? +I have been spoken of as if I were a wolf endeavoring to devour the +entire fold of sheep in the absence of the shepherd." I believe in the +trinity of observation, reason and science; the trinity of man, woman +and child; the trinity of love, joy and hope; and thought that every +man has a right to think for himself, and no other man has the right to +debar him of this privilege by torture, by social ostracism, or any of +the numerous other expedients resorted to by the enemies of +advancement. I ask: "Does God wish the lip-worship of a slave? a +sneak? of the man that dares not reason? If I were the infinite God, I +would rather have the worship of one good man of brains than a world of +such men. I am told that I am in danger of everlasting fire, and that +I shall burn forever in hell: I tell you, my friends, if I were going +to hell tonight I would take an overcoat with me. Do not tell me that +the eternal future of a man may depend upon his belief, I deny it. +That a man should be punished for having come to an honest conclusion, +the honest production of his brain; that an honest conclusion should be +deemed a crime and so declared, it is an infamous, monstrous assertion, +and I would rather go to hell than to keep the company of a God who +would damn his child for an honest belief. + +"Next, I 'preached' that a woman was the equal of man, entitled to +everything that he is entitled to, to be his partner, and to be +cherished and respected because she is the weaker, to be treated as a +splendid flower. I said that man should not be cross to her, but fill +the house that she is in with such joy that it would burst out at the +window. I have said that matrimony is the holiest of sacraments, and I +have said that the bible took woman up thousands of years ago and +handed her down to man as a slave, and I have said that the bible is a +barbarous book for teaching that she is a slave, and I repeat it, and +will prove later what I have said. I have pleaded for the right of +man, of wife, and of the little child; I have said we can govern +children by love and affection; I have asked for tender treatment for +the child of crime; I have asked mothers to cease beating their +children and take them to their hearts; and for this I am denounced by +the religious press and men in the pulpits as a demon and a monster of +heresy, who should be driven out from among you as an unclean thing. + +"But I should not complain. Only a few years ago I should have been +compelled to look at my denouncers through flame and smoke; but they +dare not treat me so now or they would. One hundred years ago I should +have been burned for claiming the right of reason; fifty years ago I +should have been imprisoned and my wife and children would have been +torn away from me, and twenty-five years ago I could not have made a +living in the United States in my profession--the law. But I live now +and can see through it all, and all is light. I delivered another +lecture, on "Ghosts," in which I sought to show that man had been +controlled in the past by phantoms created by his own imagination; in +which the pencil of fear had drawn pictures for him on the canvass of +superstition, and that men had groveled in they dirt before their own +superstitious creations. I endeavored to show that man had received +nothing from these ghosts but hatred, blood, ignorance and unhappiness, +and that they had filled our world with woe and tears. This is what I +endeavored to show--no more. Now, every one has as much right to +differ with me as I with them, but it does not make the slightest +difference for the purpose of argument whether I am a good man or a +bad, whether I am ugly or handsome--although I would not object to +resting my case on that issue; the only thing to be considered and +discussed is, is what I have said true, or is it untrue? + +"Now, I said that the bible came from the ghosts, and that they gave us +the doctrine of immortality of the soul, which I deny. Now, the +immortality of the soul, if there is such a thing, is a fact, and +therefore no book could make it. If I am immortal, I am; if not, no +book can make me so. The doctrine of immortality is based in the hope +of the human heart, and is not derived from any book or creed. It has +its origin in the ebb and flow of the human affections, and will +continue as long as affection, and is the rainbow in the sky of hope. +It does not depend on a book, on ghosts, superstition of any kind; it +is a flower of the human heart. I did say that these ghosts, or the +book, taught that human slavery was right, that most monstrous of all +crimes, that makes miserable the victim and debases the master, for a +slave can have all the virtues while the master can not. I did say +that it riveted the chains upon the oppressed, and that it counseled +the robbing of that most precious of all boons--Liberty. I add that +the book upheld all this, that it sustained and sanctified the +institution of human slavery. I did also assert that this same book, +which my critics claim was inspired by God, inculcated the doctrine of +witchcraft, for which people, through its teaching were hanged and +burned for bringing disease upon the regal persons of kings, and for +souring beer. I did say that this book upheld that most of all +infamies, polygamy, and that it did not teach political liberty or +religious toleration, but political slavery and the most wretched +intolerance. I did try to prove that these ghosts knew less than +nothing about medicine, politics, legislation, astronomy, geology and +astrology, but I am also aware that in saving these things I have done +what my censors think I ought not to have done. But the victor ought +not to feel malice, and I shall have none. As soon as I had said all +these things, some gentlemen felt called upon to answer them, which +they had a right to do. Now, I like fairness, am enamored with it, +probably because I get so little of it. I can say a great many mean +things, for I have read all the religious papers, and I ought to be +able to account for every motive in a mean manner after. + +"The first gentleman whom I shall call your attention to is the Rev. +Dr. Woodbridge. It seems that when I delivered my lectures the +conclusion had come to "that man does not believe in anything but +matter and force--that man does not believe in spirit." Why not? If +by spirit you mean that which thinks, I am one of them myself. If you +mean by spirit that which hopes and reasons and loves and aspires, why, +then, I am a believer in spirits; but whatever spirit there is in this +universe I will take my oath is a natural product and not superimposed +upon this world. All I will say is that whatever is, is natural, and +there is as much goodness in my judgment, as much spirit here in this +world as in any other, and you are just as near the heart of the +universe here as you ever can be. + +But, they say, "there is matter and force, and there is force and there +is spirit." Well, what of it? There is no matter without force. What +would keep it together unless there was force? Can you imagine matter +without force? Honor bright, can you conceive of force without +matter? And what is spirit? They say spirit is the first thing that +ever was. It seems to me sometimes as though spirit was the blossom +and fruit of all, and not the commencement. But they say spirit was +first. What would that spirit do? No force--no matter--a spirit living +in an infinite vacuum without side, edge or bottom. This spirit +created the world; and if this spirit did, there must have been a time +when it commenced to create, and back of that an eternity spent in +absolute idleness. Can a spirit exist without matter or without force? +I honestly say I do not know what matter is, what force is, what spirit +is; but if you mean by matter anything that I can touch, or by force +anything that we can overcome then I believe in them. If you mean by +spirit anything that can think and love, I believe in spirits. + +"The next critic who assailed me was the Rev. Mr. Kalloch. I am not +going to show you what I can withstand. I am not going to say a word +about the reputation of this man, although he took some liberties with +mine. This gentleman says negation is a poor thing to die by. I would +just as lief die by that as the opposite. He spoke of the last hours +of Paine and Voltaire and the terrors of their death-beds; but the +question arises, is there a word of truth in all he said? I have +observed that the murderer dies with courage and firmness in many +instances, but that does not make me think that it sanctified his +crime; in fact, it makes no impression upon me one way or the other. +When a man through old age or infirmity approaches death the +intellectual faculties are dimmed, his senses become less and less, and +as he loses these he goes back to his old superstition. Old age brings +back the memories of childhood. And the great bard gave in the corrupt +and besotted Falstaff--who prattled of babbling brooks and green +fields--an instance of the retracing steps taken by the memory at the +last gasp. It has been said that the bible was sanctified by our +mothers. Every superstition in the world, from the beginning of all +time, has had such a sanctification. The Turk dying on the Russian +battlefield, pressing the Koran to his bosom, breathes his last +thinking of the loving adjuration of his mother to guard it. Every +superstition has been rendered sacred by the love of a mother. I know +what it has cost the noble and the brave to throw to the winds these +superstitions. Since the death of Voltaire, who was innocent of all +else than a desire to shake off the superstitions of the past, the +curse of Rome has pursued him, and ignorant protestants have echoed +that curse. I like Voltaire. Whenever I think of him it is as a plumed +knight coming from the fray with victory shining upon his brow. He was +once in the Bastille, and while there he changed his name from Francis +Marie Aloysius to Voltaire; and when the Bastille was torn down +"Voltaire" was the battle cry of those who did it. He did more to +bring about religious toleration than any man in the galaxy of those +who strove for the privilege of free thought. He was always on the +side of justice. He was full of faults and had many virtues. His +doctrines have never brought unhappiness to any country. He died as +serenely as anyone could. Speaking to his servant, he said, "Farewell +my faithful friend." Could he have done a more noble act than to +recognize him who had served him faithfully as a man? What more could +he wished? And now let me say here, I will give a $1,000 in gold to +any clergyman who can substantiate that the death of Voltaire was not +as peaceful as the dawn. And of Thomas Paine, whom they assert died in +fear and agony, frightened by the clanking chains of devils, in fact, +frightened to death by God--I will give $1,000 likewise to anyone who +can substantiate this absurd story--a story without a word of truth in +it. And let me ask, who dies in the most fear, the man who, like the +saint, exclaims: "My God, my God! why hast thou forsaken me?" or +Voltaire, who peacefully and quietly bade his servant farewell? The +question is not who died right, but who lived right. I look upon death +as the most unimportant moment of life, and believe that not half the +responsibility is attached to dying that is to living properly. This +Rev. Mr. Kalloch is a baptist. He has a right to be a baptist. The +first baptist, though was a heretic; but it is among the wonders that +when a heretic gets fifteen or twenty to join him he suddenly begins to +be orthodox. Roger Williams was a baptist, but how he, or anyone not +destitute of good sense, could be one, passes my comprehension. Let me +illustrate: + +Suppose it was the Day of Judgment tonight and we were all assembled, +as the ghosts say we will be, to be judged, and God should ask a man: + +"Have you been a good man?" + +"Yes." + +"Have you loved your wife and children?" + +"Yes." + +"Have you taken good care of them and made them happy?" + +"Yes." + +"Have you tried to do right by your neighbors?" + +"Yes." + +"Paid all your debts?" + +"Yes." + +And then cap the climax by asking: + +"Were you ever baptized?" + +Could a solitary being hear that question without laughing? I think +not. I once happened to be in the company of six or seven baptist +elders (I never have been able to understand since how I got into such +bad company), and they wanted to know what I thought of baptism. I +answered that I had not given the matter any attention, in fact I had +no special opinion upon the subject. But they pressed me and finally I +told them that I thought, with soap baptism was a good thing. + +The Rev. Mr. Guard has attacked me, and has described me, among other +things, as a dog barking at a train. Of course he was the train. He +said, first, the bible is not an immoral book, because I swore upon it +when I joined the Free and Accepted Masons. That settles the question. +Secondly, he says that Solomon had softening of the brain and fatty +degeneration of the heart; thirdly, that the Hebrews had the right to +slay all the inhabitants of Canaan according to the doctrine of the +survival of the fittest. He says that the destruction of these +Canaanites, the ripping open by the bloody sword of women with child +was an act of sublime mercy. Think of that! He says that the +Canaanites should have been driven from their homes, and not only +driven, but that the men who simply were guilty of the crime of +fighting for their native land--the old men with gray hairs; the old +mothers, the young mothers, the little dimpled, prattling child--that +it was an act of sublime mercy to plunge the sword of religious +persecution into old and young. If that is mercy, let us have +injustice. If there is that kind of a God I am sorry that I exist. +Fourthly, Mr. Guard said God has the right to do as he pleases with the +beings he has created; and, fifthly, that God, by choosing the Jews and +governing them personally, spoiled them to that degree that they +crucified Him the first opportunity they had. That shows what a good +administration will do. Sixthly, He says polygamy is not a bad thing +when compared with the picture of Anthony and Cleopatra, now on +exhibition in this city. I will just say one word about art. I think +this is one of the most beautiful words in our language, and do you +know, it never seemed to me necessary for art to go into partnership +with a rag? I like the paintings of Angelo, of Raphael--I like those +splendid souls that are put upon canvas--all there is of human beauty. +There are brave souls in every land who worship nature grand and nude, +and who, with swift, indignant hand, tear off the fig leaves of the +prude. Seventhly, it may be said that the bible sanctions slavery, but +that it is not an immoral book if it does. Mr. Guard playfully says +that he is a puppy nine days old; that he was only eight days old when +I came here. I'm inclined to think he has over stated his age. I +account for his argument precisely as he did for the sin of Solomon, +softening of the brain, or fatty degeneration of the heart. It does +seem to me that if I were a good Christian and knew that another man +was going down to the bottomless pit to be miserable and in agony +forever, I would try to stop him, and instead of filling my mouth with +epithet and invective, and drawing the lips of malice back from the +teeth of hatred, my eyes would be filled with tears, and I would do +what I could to reclaim him and take him up in the arms of my affection. + +The next gentleman is the Rev. Mr. Robinson, who delivered a sermon +entitled 'Ghost against God, or Ingersoll against Honesty.' Of course +he was honest. He apologized for attending an infidel lecture upon the +ground that he hated to contribute to the support of a materialistic +showman. I am willing to trade fagots for epithets, and the rack for +anything that may be said in his sermon. I am willing to trade the +instrument of torture with which they could pull the nails from my +fingers for anything which the ingenuity of orthodoxy can invent. +When I saw that report--although I do not know that I ought to tell +it--I felt bad. I knew that man's conscience must be rankling like a +snake in his bosom, that he had contributed a dollar to the support of +a man as bad as I. I wrote him a letter, in which I said: "The Rev. +Samuel Robinson, My Dear Sir. In order to relieve your conscience of +the stigma of having contributed to the support of an unbeliever in +Ghosts, I herewith enclose the dollar you paid to attend my lecture." +I then gave him a little good advice to be charitable, and regretted +exceedingly that any man could listen to me for an hour and a half and +not go away satisfied that other men had the same right to think that +he had. + +The speaker went on to answer the argument of Mr. Robinson with regard +to persecution, contending that protestants had been guilty of it no +less than catholics; and showing that the first people to pass an act +of toleration in the new world were the catholics in Maryland. The +reverend gentleman has stated also that infidelity has done nothing for +the world in the development of art and science. Has he ever heard of +Darwin, of Tyndall, of Huxley, of John W. Draper, of Auguste Comte, of +Descartes, Laplace, Spinoza, or any man who has taken a step in advance +of his time? Orthodoxy never advances, when it does advance, it ceases +to be orthodoxy. + +A reply to certain strictures in the Occident led the lecturer up to +another ministerial critic, namely, the Rev. W.E. Ijams. + +I want to say that, so far as I can see, in his argument this gentleman +has treated me in a kind and considerate spirit. He makes two or three +mistakes, but I suppose they are the fault of the report from which he +quoted. I am made to say in his sermon that there is no sacred place +in the universe. What I did say was: There is no sacred place in all +the universe of thought; there is nothing too holy to be investigated, +nothing too sacred to be understood, and I said that the fields of +thought were fenceless, that they should be without a wall. I say so +tonight. He further said that I said that a man had not only the right +to do right, but to do wrong. What I did say, was: "Liberty is the +right to do right, and the right to think right, and the right to think +wrong," not the right to do wrong. That is all I have to say in regard +to that gentleman, except that, so far as I could see, he was perfectly +fair, and treated me as though I was a human being as well as he. + +The speaker sarcastically referred to the slurs thrown upon him by his +reviewers, who have claimed that his theories have no foundation, his +arguments no reason, and that his utterances are vapid, blasphemous, +and unworthy a reply. He said that their statements and their actions +were sadly at variance, for, while declaring him a senseless idiot, +they spent hours in striving to prove themselves not idiots; in other +words, in one breath they declare that his views were absolutely +without point, and needed no explaining away; while in direct rebuttal +of this declaration, they devoted time and labor in attempts to +disprove the very things they called self-evident absurdities. + +Turning from this subject, Mr. Ingersoll read numerous extracts from +the bible, with interpolated comments. He claimed that the bible +authorized slavery, and that many devoted believers in that book had +turned the cross of Christ into a whipping post. He did not wish it +understood that he could find no good in believers in creeds; far from +it, for some of his dearest friends were most orthodox in their +religious ideas, and there had been hundreds of thousands of good men +among both clergy and laymen. History has shown no people more nobly +self-sacrificing than the Jesuit Fathers who first visited this country +to proselyte among the Indians. But these men and their like were +better than their creeds; better than the book in which their faith was +centered. The bible tells us distinctly that the world was made in six +days--not periods, but actual, bona fide days--a statement which it +iterates and reiterates. It also tells us that God lengthened the day +for the benefit of a gentleman named Joshua, in other words, that he +stopped the rotary motion of the earth. Motion is changed into heat by +stoppage, and the world turns with such velocity that its sudden +stoppage would create a heat of intensity beyond the wildest flight of +our imagination, and yet this impossible feat was performed that Joshua +might have longer time to expend in slaying a handful of Amorites. The +bible also upholds the doctrines of witchcraft and spiritualism, for +Saul visited the witch of Endor, and she, after preparing the cabinet, +trotted out the spirit of Samuel, said spirit kindly joining in +conversation with Saul, without requiring the aid of a trance medium. +The speaker then quoted at length from Leviticus concerning wizards and +evil spirits, described the temptation of Christ by Satan, and the +driving of devils from man into swine. He sneered at the rights of +children as biblically described, citing the law which sentenced them +to be stoned to death for disobedience to parents, the almost sacrifice +of Isaac by his father, and the actual murder of Jephthah's daughter, +asking if a God who could demand such worship was worthy the love of +man. He next referred to the conversation between God and Satan +concerning the man Job, and of the reward given to the latter for his +long continued patience. His three daughters and his seven sons had +been taken from him merely to test his patience, and the merciful God +gave him in exchange three other daughters and seven sons, but they +were not the children whom he had loved and lost. The bible represents +woman as vastly inferior to man, while he believed, with Robbie Burns, +that God made man with a prentice-hand, and woman after He had learned +the trade. Polygamy, also, was a doctrine supported by this pure and +pious work; a doctrine so foul that language is not strong enough to +express its infamy. The bible taught, as a religious creed, that if +your wife, your sister, your brother, your dearest friend, tempted you +to change from the religion of your fathers, your duty to God demanded +that you should at once strike a blow at the life of your tempter. Let +us suppose, then, that in truth God went to Palestine and selected the +scanty tribes of Israel as his chosen people, and supposing that he +afterward came to Jerusalem in the shape of a man and taught a +different doctrine from the one prescribed by their book and their +clergy, and that the chosen people, in obedience to the education he +had prepared for them, struck at the life of him who tempted them. +Were they to be cursed by God and man because the former had reaped the +harvest of his own sowing? + + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on "How the Gods Grow" + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: Priests have invented a crime called blasphemy. +That crime is the breastwork behind which ignorance, superstition and +hypocrisy have crouched for thousands of years, and shot their poisoned +arrows at the pioneers of human thought. Priests tell us that there is +a God somewhere in heaven who objects to a human being, thinking and +expressing his thought. Priests tell us that there is a God somewhere +who takes care of the people of this world; a God somewhere who watches +over the widow and the orphan; a God somewhere who releases the slave; +a God somewhere who visits the innocent man in prison; the same God +that has allowed men for thousands of years to burn to ashes human +beings simply for loving that God. We have been taught that it is +dangerous to reason upon these subjects--extremely dangerous--and that +of all crimes in the world, the greatest is to deny the existence of +that God. + +Redden your hands in innocent blood; steal the bread of the orphan, +deceive, ruin and desert the beautiful girl who has loved and trusted +you, and for all this you may be forgiven; for all this you can have +the clear writ of that bankrupt court of the gospel. But deny the +existence of one of these gods, and the tearful face of mercy becomes +lurid with eternal hate; the gates of heaven are shut against you, and +you, with an infinite curse ringing in your ears, commence your +wanderings as an immortal vagrant, as a deathless convict, as an +eternal outcast. And we have been taught that the infinite has become +enraged at the finite simply when the finite said: "I don't know!" +Why, imagine it. Suppose Mr. Smith should hear a couple of small bugs +in his front yard discussing the question as to the existence of Smith; +and suppose one little red bug swore on the honor of a bug that, in his +judgment, no such man as Smith lived. What would you think of Mr. +Smith if he fell into a rage, and brought his heel down on this little +atheist bug and said: "I will teach you that Smith is a diabolical +fact!" And yet if there is an infinite God, there is infinitely a +greater difference between that God and a human being than between +Shakespeare and the smallest bug that ever crawled. It cannot be; +there is something wrong in this thing somewhere. + +I am told, also, that this being watches over us, takes care of us. +And the other day I read a sermon (you will hardly believe it, but I +did); I had nothing else to. I had read everything in that paper, +including the advertisements; so I read the sermon. It was a sermon by +Rev. Mr. Moody on prayer, in which he took the ground that our prayer +should be "Thy will be done;" and he seemed to believe that if we +prayed that prayer often enough we could induce God to have his own +way. He gives an instance of a woman in Illinois who had a sick child, +and she prayed that God would not take from her arms that babe. She +did not pray "Thy will be done," but she prayed, according to Mr. +Moody, almost a prayer of rebellion, and said: "I cannot give up my +babe." God heard her prayer, and the child got well; and Mr. Moody +says it was an idiot when it got well. For fifteen years that woman +watched over and took care of that idiotic child; and Mr. Moody says +how much better would it have been if she had allowed God to have had +his own way. Think of a God who would punish a mother for speaking to +Him from an agonizing heart and saying, "I cannot give up my babe," and +making the child an idiot. What would the devil have done under the +same circumstances? That is the God we are expected to worship. I +range myself with the opposition. The next day I read another sermon +preached by the Rev. De Witt Talmage, a man of not much fancy, but of +great judgment. He preached a sermon on dreams, and went on to say +that God often visited us in dreams, and that He often convinces men of +His existence in that way. So far as I am concerned I had rather see +something in the light. And, according to that sermon, there was a +poor woman in England, a pauper who had the rheumatism, and there was +another pauper who had not the rheumatism; and the pauper who had not +the rheumatism used to take food to the pauper that had. After a while +the pauper without rheumatism died, and then the pauper with the +rheumatism began to think in her own mind, who will bring me food? +That night God appeared to her in a dream. He did not cure her +rheumatism though. He appeared to her in a dream, and he took her out +of the house and pointed on the right hand to an immense mountain of +bread, and on the left hand to an immense mountain of butter. And when +I read that I said to myself, my Lord, what a place that would be to +start a political party. And he said to her: "These belong to your +father; do you think that he will allow one of his children to starve? +What a place would Ireland be with that mountain of bread and butter! +Until I read these two sermons I hardly believed that in this day and +generation anybody believed that God would make a child an idiot simply +because the mother had prayed for its sweet dear life, or that God's +visits are only in dreams. But so it is. + +Orthodoxy has not advanced upon the religion of the Fiji Islander. It +is the same yesterday, today and forever. Now we are told that there +is a god; and nearly every nation has had a god; generally a good many +of them. You see the raw material was so cheap, and Gods were +manufactured so easily, that heaven has always been crammed with the +phantoms of these monsters. But they say there is a god, and every +savage tribe believes in a God. It is an argument made to me every +day. I concede to you that fact; I concede to you that all savages +agree with you. I admit it takes a certain amount of civilization, a +certain amount of thought, to rise above the idea that some personal +being, for his own ends, for his own glory, made and governs this +universe. I admit that it takes some thought to see the universe is +good and all that is good, and every star that shines is a part of God, +and I am something, no matter how little, and that the infinite cannot +exist without me, and that therefore I am a part of the infinite. I +admit that it takes a little civilization to get to that point. + +Now every nation has made a god, and every man that has made a god has +used himself for a pattern; and men have put into the mouth of their +god all their mistakes in astronomy, in geography, in philosophy, in +morality, and the god is never wiser or better than his creators. If +they believe in slavery, so did he; if they believe in eating human +flesh, he wanted his share; if they were polygamous, so was he; if they +were cruel, so was he. And just to the extent that man has become +civilized, he has civilized his god. You can hardly imagine the +progress that our God has made in four thousand years. + +Four thousand years ago He was a barbarian; tonight He is quite an +educated gentleman. Four thousand years ago He believed in killing and +butchering little babes at the breasts of their mothers; He has +reformed. Four thousand years ago He did not believe in taking +prisoners of war. He said, kill the old men; mingle their blood with +the white hair. Kill the women. But what shall we do, O God, with the +maidens? Give them to satisfy the lust of the soldiers and of the +priests! If there is anywhere in the serene heaven a real God. I want +him to write in the book of His eternal remembrance, opposite my name, +that I deny that lie for Him. + +Four thousand years ago our God was in favor of slavery; four thousand +years ago our God would have a man beaten to death with rugged rocks +for expressing his honest thought; four thousand years ago our God told +the husband to kill his wife if she disagreed with him upon the +important subject of religion; four thousand years ago our God was a +monster; and if He is any better now, it is simply because we have made +Him so. I am talking about the God of the Christian world. There may +be, for aught I know, upon the shore of the eternal vast, some being +whose very thought is the constellation of those numberless stars. I +do not know; but if there is he has never written a bible; he has never +been in favor of slavery; he has never advocated polygamy, and he never +told the murderer to sheathe his dagger in the dimpled breast of a +babe. But they say to me, our God has written a book. I am glad he +did, and it is by that book that I propose to judge them. I find in +that book that it was a crime to eat of the tree of knowledge. I find +that the church has always been the enemy of education, and I find that +the church still carries the flaming sword of ignorance and bigotry +over the tree of knowledge. + +And if that story is true, ought we not after all to thank the devil? +He was the first school master; he was the first to whisper liberty in +our ears; he was the author of modesty. He was the author of ambition +and progress. And as for me, give me the storm and tempest of thought +and action rather than the dead calm of ignorance and faith. Punish me +when and how you will, but first let me eat of the fruit of the tree of +knowledge. And there is one peculiar thing I might as well speak of +here. While the world has made gods, it has also made devils; and as a +rule the devils have been better friends to man than the gods. It was +not a devil that drowned the world; it was not a devil that covered +with the multitudinous waves of an infinite sea the corpses of men, +women and children. + +That was the good god. The devil never sent pestilence and famine; the +devil never starved women and children; that was the good God. The +meanest thing recorded of the devil is what happened concerning my +servant Job. According to that book God met the devil and said: +"Where have you been?" "Oh, been walking up and down." "Have you +noticed my man Job; nobody like him!" "Well, who wouldn't be; you have +given him everything; but take away what he has, and he will curse you +to your face." And so the devil went to work and tried it. It was a +mean thing. And that was all done to decide what you might call a wager +on a difference of opinion between the serene highnesses. He took away +his property, but Job didn't sin; and when God met the devil, he said: +"Well, what did I tell you, smarty?" "Ah," he said, "that is all very +well, but you touch his flesh and he will curse you; and he did, but +Job didn't curse him. And then what did God do to help him! He gave +him some other children better looking than the first ones. What kind +of an idea is that for a God to kill our children and then give us +better looking ones! If you have loved a child, I don't care if it is +deformed, if you have held it in your arms and covered its face with +kisses, you want that child back and no other. + +I find in this bible that there was an old gentleman a little short of +the article of hair. And as he was going through the town a number of +little children cried out to him "Go up, thou bald head!" And this man +of God turned and cursed them. A real good-humored old fellow! And +two bears came out of the woods and tore in pieces forty-two children! +How did the bears get there? Elisha could not control the bears. +Nobody but God could control the bears in that way. Now just think of +an infinite God making a shining star, having his attention attracted +by hearing some children saying to an old gentlemen, "Go up, thou bald +head!" and then speaking to his secretary or somebody else, "Bring in a +couple of bears now!" What a magnificent God! What would the devil +have done under the same circumstances? And yet that is the God they +want to put into the constitution in order to make our children gentle +and kind and loving. + +You hate a God like that. I do; I despise him. And yet little +children in the Sabbath-school are taught that infamous lie. Why, I +have very little respect for an old man that will get mad about such a +thing, anyway. What would the Christian world say of me if I should +have a few children torn to pieces if they should make that remark in +my face? What would the devil have done under the same circumstances? +I tell you, I cannot worship a God who is no better than the devil! I +cannot do it. And if you will just read the old testament with the +bandage off your eyes and the cloud of fear from your heart, you will +come to the conclusion that it was written not only by men, but by +barbarians, by savages, and that it is totally unworthy of a civilized +age. I believe in no God who believes in slavery. I will worship no +God who ever said that one of His children should own another of His +children. But they say to me, there must be a God somewhere! Well, I +say I don't know. There may be. I hope there is more than one--one is +so lonesome. Just think of an old bachelor, always alone! I want more +than one. And they say, somebody must have made this! Well, I say I +don't know. But it strikes me that the indestructible cannot be +created. What would you make it of? "Oh, nothing!" Well, it strikes +me that nothing, considered in the light of a raw material, is a +decided failure. For my part, I cannot conceive of force apart from +matter, and I cannot conceive of matter apart from force. I cannot +conceive of force somewhere without acting upon something; because +force must be active, or it is not force; and if it has no matter to +act upon, it ceases to be force. I cannot conceive of the smallest +atom of matter staying together without force. Beside, if some god made +all this, there must have been some morning when he commenced! And if +he has existed always, there is an eternity back of that when he never +did anything; when he lived in an infinite hole, without side, top or +bottom! He did not think, for there was nothing to think about. +Certainly he did not remember, for nothing had ever happened. Now I +cannot conceive of this! I do not say it is not so. I may be damned +for my smartness, yet--I simply say I cannot conceive of it, that is +all. But men tell me, you cannot conceive of eternity! That is just +what I can conceive of. I cannot conceive of its stopping. They say I +cannot conceive of infinite space! That is just what I can conceive +of; because, let me imagine all I can, my imagination will stand upon +the verge and see infinite space beyond. Infinite space is a necessity +of the mind, because I cannot think of enough matter to fill it. +Eternity is a necessity of the mind, because I cannot dream of the +cessation of time. But they say there is a design in the world, +consequently there must be a designer. Well, I don't know. + +Paley says that the more wonderful a thing is, the greater the +necessity for creation; that a watch is a wonderful thing, and that it +must have had a creator; that the watchmaker is more wonderful than the +watch, therefore he must have had a creator. Then we come to God; He is +altogether more wonderful than the watchmaker, therefore He had no +creator. There is a link out somewhere; I don't pretend to understand +it. And so I say, that had the world been any other way, you would +have seen the same evidence of design, precisely. We grow up with our +conditions, and you cannot imagine of a first cause. Why? Every cause +has an effect. + +Strike your hands together; they feel warm. The effect becomes a cause +instantly, and that cause produces another effect, and the effect +another cause; and there could not have been a cause until there was an +effect. Because until there was an effect, nothing had been caused; +until something had been caused, I am positive there was no cause. Now +you cannot conceive of a lost effect, because the lost effect of which +you can think, will in turn become a cause and that cause produce +another effect. And as you cannot think of a lost effect, you cannot +think of a first cause; it is not thinkable by the human mind. + +They say God governs this world. Why does He not govern Russia as well +as He does Massachusetts? Why does He allow the Czar to send beautiful +girls of sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, simply for saying a word in +favor of human liberty, to mines in Siberia, where they draw carts with +knees bruised and bleeding, with hands scarred and swollen? What is +that God worth that allows such things in the world He governs? Did He +govern this country when it had four millions of slaves?--when it +turned the cross of Christ into a whipping-post--when the holy bible +was an auction-block on which the mother stood while her babe was sold +from her breast?--when bloodhounds were considered apostles? Was God +governing the world when the prisoners were confined in the Bastille? +It seems to me, if there is a God, and someone would repeat the word +"Bastille." it would cover almost his face with the blood of shame. +But they say heaven will balance all the ills of life. Let us see: A +large majority of us are sinners--at least a large majority with whom I +am acquainted; and a majority of the Christians with whom I am +acquainted are worse than sinners. And if their doctrine is true, you +will be astonished at the gentlemen you will see in hell that day. You +will know by the cast of their countenance that they used to preach +here. They say that it may be that the sinners here have a very good +time, and that the Christians don't have a very good time; that it is +awful hard work to serve the Lord, and that you carry a cross when you +deny yourself the delights of murder and forgery, and all manner of +rascality that fills life with delight. But they say that while the +rascals are having a good time, they will catch it in the other world. +But, according to their account, ninety-nine out of a hundred will be +damned, and I think it will be a close call for the hundredth. Like +that dear old Scotch woman, when she was talking about the Presbyterian +faith, some one said to her: "My dear woman, if your doctrine is true, +nobody but you and your husband will be saved." "Ah," said she, "I'm +na' sae sure about John." About one in a hundred will be saved, and +the other ninety-nine will be in misery. So that on the average there +will not be half as much happiness in the next world as in this. So, +instead of God's plan getting better, it gets worse; and throughout all +the ages of eternity there will be less happiness than in this world. +This world is a school; this world is where we develop moral muscle. +It may be that we are here simply because men cannot advance only +through agony and pain. If it is necessary to have pain and agony to +advance morally, then nobody can advance in heaven. Hell will be the +only place offering opportunities to any gentleman who wishes to +increase his moral muscle. + +A gentleman once asked me if I could suggest any improvement on the +present order of things, if I had the power. Well, said I, in the +first place, I would make good health catching instead of disease. +There will be no humanity until we get the orthodox God out of our +religion. I want to do what little I can to put another one in God's +name, so that we will worship a supreme human god, so that we will +worship mercy, justice, love and truth, and not have the idea that we +must sacrifice our brother upon the altar of fear to please some +imaginary phantom. See what Christianity has done for the world! It +has reduced Spain to a guitar, Italy to a hand organ and Ireland to +exile. That is what religion has done. Take every country in the +whole world, and the country that has got the least religion is the +most prosperous, and the country that has got the most religion is in +the worst condition. + +In the vast cemetery, called the past, are most of the religions of men +and there, too, are nearly all their gods. + +The sacred temples of India were ruins long ago. Over column and +cornice; over the painted and pictured walls, cling and creep the +trailing vines. Brahma, the golden, with four heads and four arms; +Vishnu, the sombre, the punisher of the wicked, with his three eyes, +his crescent, and his necklace of skulls; Siva, the destroyer, red with +seas of blood; Kali, the goddess; Draupadi, the white-armed, and +Chrishna, the Christ, all passed away and left the thrones of heaven +desolate. Along the banks of the sacred Nile, Iris no longer wandering +weeps, searching for the dead Osiris. The shadow of Typhon's scowl +falls no more upon the waves. The sun rises as of yore, and his golden +beams still smite the lips of Memnon, but Memnon is as voiceless as the +Sphinx. The sacred fanes are lost in desert sands; the dusty mummies +are still waiting for the resurrection promised by their priests, and +the old beliefs wrought in curiously sculptured stone, sleep in the +mystery of a language lost and dead Odin, the author of life and soul, +Vili and Ve, and the mighty giant Ymir, strode long ago from the ice +halls of the North; and Thor, with iron glove and glittering hammer, +dashes mountains to the earth no more. + +Broken are the circles and the cromlechs of the ancient Druids; fallen +upon the summits of the hills, and covered with the centuries' moss are +the sacred cairns. The divine fires of Persia and of the Aztecs have +died out in the ashes of the past, and there is none to rekindle, and +none to feed the holy flames. The harp of Orpheus is still; the drained +cup of Bacchus has been thrown aside; Venus lies dead in stone, and her +white bosom heaves no more with love. The streams still murmur, but no +naiads bathe; the trees still wave, but in the forest aisles no dryads +dance. The gods have flown from high Olympus. Not even the beautiful +women can lure them back, and Danae lies unnoticed, naked to the stars. +Hushed forever are the thunders of Sinai; lost are the voices of the +prophets, and the lard once flowing with milk and honey is but a desert +waste. One by one the myths have faded from the clouds; one by one the +phantom host has disappeared, and, one by one, facts, truths and +realities have taken their places. The supernatural has almost gone, +but man is the natural remains. The gods have fled, but man is here. +Nations, like individuals, have their periods of youth, of manhood and +decay. Religions are the same. The same inexorable destiny awaits +them all. The gods created with the nations must perish with their +creators. They were created by men, and, like men, they must pass away. +The deities of one age are the by-words of the next. The religion of +our day, and country, is no more exempt from the sneer of the future +than others have been. When India was supreme, Brahma sat upon the +world's throne. When the sceptre passed to Egypt, Isis and Osiris +received the homage of mankind. Greece, with her fierce valor, swept +to empire, and Zeus put on the purple of authority. The earth trembled +with the tread of Rome's intrepid sons, and Jove grasped with mailed +hand the thunderbolts of heaven. Rome fell, and Christians from her +territory, with the red sword of war, carved out the ruling nations of +the world, and now Jehovah sits upon the old throne. Who will be His +successor? + + + + + + +Ingersoll's lecture on The Religion of Our Day + + +Ladies and Gentlemen:--I am glad that I have lived long enough to see +one gentleman in the pulpit brave enough to say that God would not be +offended at one who speaks according to the dictates of his conscience; +who does not believe that God will give wings to a bird, and then damn +the bird for flying. I thank the pastor and I thank the church for +allowing its pastor to be so brave. + +I admit that thousands and thousands of church people, with their +pastors and the deacons, are today advocating religious principles that +they deem right and good. I honor these men, but I do not believe that +their method is a good one. I do not want these people to forgive me +for the views I entertain, but I want them so to act that I will not +have to forgive them. I am the friend of every one who preaches the +gospel of absolute intellectual liberty, and that man is my friend. + +Is there a God who says that if man does so and so He will damn him? +Can there be such a fiend? I am not responsible to man unless I injure +him; nor to God unless I injure Him, but one cannot injure God, for "He +is infinite." + +When I was young I was told that the bible was inspired, written by +God, that even the lids of the book were inspired. They say He is a +personal God; if so, He has not revealed Himself to me. There may be +many gods. As I look around I see that justice does not prevail, that +innocence is not always effectual and a perfect shield. If there be a +God these things could not be. If God made us all, why did He not make +us all equally well. He had the power of an infinite god. Why did God +people the earth with so many idiots? I admit that orthodoxy could not +exist without them, but why did God make them? If we believe the bible +then He should have made us all idiots, for the orthodox Christian says +the idiots will not be damned, simply transplanted, while the sensible +man, who believeth not, will be sent to eternal damnation? If there is +any God that made us, what right had He to make idiots? Is a man with +a head like a pin under any obligation to thank God? Is the black man, +born in slavery, under any obligation to thank God for his badge of +servitude? + +What kind of a God is it that will allow men and women to be put in +dungeons and chains simply because they loved Him and prayed to Him? +And what kind of a God is it that will allow such men and women to be +burned at the stake? If God won't love such men and women, then under +what circumstances will he love? + +Famine stalks over the land and millions die, not only the bad but the +good, and there in the heavens above sits an infinite God who can do +anything, can change the rocks and the stones, and yet these millions +die. I do not say there is no God, but I do ask, what is God doing? +Look at the agony, and wretchedness and woe all over the land. Is +there goodness, is there mercy in this? I do not say there is not, but +I want to know, and I want to know if a man is to be damned for asking +the question? + +(He eloquently recited the agonies that clustered around the French +Bastille, where great men and heroic women suffered and died for loving +liberty, and said: If there is a God, I think that one word, Bastille, +would bring the blush of shame to His face.) + +I find that the men who have received revelation are the worst; and +that where the bible goes there go the sword and the fagot. If an +infinite God makes a revelation to me He knows how I will understand +it. If God wrote the bible he knew that no two people would understand +it alike. + +When I read the bible I found that God in His infinite wisdom couldn't +control the people He had created and that He had to drown them. If I +had infinite power and couldn't make a people that I could control and +had to drown them, why I'd resign. + +Then I read in the bible such cruel things, and I do not believe that +God can be cruel. Such cruelty may make one afraid, but cannot inspire +love. I can't love a god that will inflict pain and sorrow, and I +won't. + +The preachers say all unbelievers will go to hell--tidings of great +joy. When I confront them they--say I'm taking away their consolation. +The old bible does not mention hell or heaven. Now God should have +notified Adam and Cain of hell, but He didn't. When He came to drown +all those people He didn't tell a single one that He would drown him. +He talked all about water--nothing about fire. When He came down on +Mount Sinai, and told Moses how to cut out clothes for a priest, He +never said one word on the subject. When God gave Moses the ten +commandments, engraved on stone, there He said not one word about hell. +There was plenty of room on the stone; why did He not add: "If you +don't keep these commandments you will be damned." Through all these +ages, when God was talking all the time, and when every howling prophet +had His ear, not one word did He utter of hell or heaven. For 4,000 +years God got along without mentioning those places or even hinting of +them. It seems to me that we ought to have been notified by Him. + +(Here the orator recalled many stories from the old bible and subjected +them to keen irony and ridicule. Reciting the story wherein the she +bears came out of the woods and tore to pieces the forty children who +mocked the prophet, he asked: If God did that, what would the devil +have done under the same circumstances? Why; he said, did not God give +a sure cure for leprosy, unless He wanted to have His chosen people to +have that frightful disease?) + +Do you believe that God ever told a widow if her brother-in-law refused +to marry her to spit in his face? Do you believe any such nonsense +from a god? I call that courting under difficulties. (Then Colonel +Ingersoll dwelt pathetically on the sweet, innocent babes eaten up by +the lions in the den, after Daniel was rescued from their jaws, and +asked the question, what kind of a god was it that allowed such +horrible deeds?) + +They say that I pick out all the bad things in the bible. Well, God +ought not to have put bad things in the book. If you only read the +bible you will not believe it. Why, it is such a bad book that it has +to be supported by legislation. In Maine and elsewhere they will send +you to jail for two years if you deny the bible or the judgment day. + +No, we are told we must not only believe in the God we have been +talking about, but must also believe in another one. + +Let us look at the church today. The orthodox church--that is, all but +the Universalist. He is trying to be orthodox, but he can't get in. +The God of the Universalists, to say the least, is a gentleman. + +Now, what is this religion? To believe certain things that we may be +saved, that we won't be damned. What are they? First, that the old and +new testament are inspired. No matter how kind, how just a man may be, +unless he believes in the inspiration, he will be damned. + +Second, he must believe in the trinity. That there are three in one. +That father and son are precisely of the same age, the son, possibly, a +little mite older; that three times one is one, and that once one is +three. It is a mercy you don't know how to understand it, but you must +believe it or be damned. Therein you see the mercy of the Lord. This +trinity doctrine was announced several hundred years after Christ was +born: Do you believe such a doctrine will make a man good or honest? +Will it make him more just? Is the man that believes any better than +the man who does not believe? How is it with nations? Look at Spain, +the last slave-holder in the civilized world; she's christian, she +believes in the trinity! And Italy, the beggar of the world. Under the +rule of priestcraft money streamed in from every land and yet she did +not advance. Today she is reduced to a hand-organ. Take poor Ireland, +groaning under the heel of British oppression; could she cast off her +priests she would soon be one with America in freedom. + +Protestantism is better than Catholicism, because there is less of it. +Both dread education. They say they brought the arts and sciences out +of the dark ages; why, they made the dark ages and what did they +preserve? Nothing of value, only an account of events that never +happened. What did they teach the world! Slavery! + +The best country the sun ever shown upon is the northern part of the +United States, and there you will find less religion than anywhere else +on the face of the earth. You will find here more people that don't +believe the bible, and you will find better husbands, better wives, +happier homes, where the women are most respected and where the +children get less blows and more huggings and kissings. We have +improved just as we lost this religion and this superstition. + +Great Britain is the religious nation par excellence, and there you +will find the most cant and most hypocrisy. They are always thanking +God that they have killed somebody. Look at the opium war with China. +They forced the Chinese to open their ports and receive the deadly +drug, and then had the impudence to send a lot of driveling idiots of +missionaries into China. + +Go around the world, and where you find the least superstition, there +you will find the best men, the best women, the best children. Two +powerful levers are at work; love and intelligence. The true test of a +man is generosity, that covers a multitude of sins. + +They have got so now they damn a man on a technicality. You must be +baptized by immersion, sprinkling or pouring. If you come to the day +of judgment and can't show the watermark, you're damned! + +What more: That a fellow named Adam, whom you don't know and never +voted for, is your representative. You are charged with his sins. +Equally abused is the doctrine of atonement, that you are created with +the sacrifice of another. If Christ had more virtue than Adam had +meanness, then you are ahead. + +Atonement is the corner-stone of the Christian religion. But there is +one great objection. It saves the wrong man, and it is not honest. +(In holding up the atonement to ridicule the orator said: "If Judas +had failed to betray Christ, the mother of Christ would be in hell +today." Then he ridiculed the miracles recorded in the new testament, +pronounced them absurdities. He said that the four apostolic writers +were very contradictory in their statements, and did not even agree as +to the last word of this great man.) + +The ascension was the most striking, the grandest of the miracles, if +true, yet the ascension is only recorded by two of these writers. If +He was God, I know he will forgive somebody for not believing the +miracles, unless convinced. + +Another contradiction in the book: in one gospel the condition of +salvation is "whosoever believeth shall not be damned," and in another +we are promised that if we forgive our enemies God will forgive us--and +there's sense in this last promise. The first I believe a lie--it was +never spoken by God. + +Christ said: Love your enemies. Nobody can do that. The doctrine of +Confucius is sound--to love one's friends and to do justice to one's +enemies without any mixture of revenge. + +If Christ was God, did He not know on His cross what crimes would be +done in His name? Why didn't He settle all disputes about the trinity +and about baptism? Why didn't He post His disciples? Because He could +no more see into the future than I can. Only in this way can you +acquit him of the crimes committed in His name. The way to save our own +souls is to save another soul. God can't turn into hell a man who +makes on this earth a little heaven for himself, wife and babes. + +Any minister who preaches the doctrine of hell ought to be ashamed. I +want, if I can while I live, to put an end to all belief in this +infamous doctrine. That doctrine has done incalculable harm, wrought +incalculable injury. I despise it, and I defy it. + +The orthodox church says that religion does good; that it restrains +crime. It restrains a man from artificial, not from natural crimes. A +man can be made so religious that he will not eat meat on Friday, yet +he will steal. + +Did you ever hear of a tramp coming to town and inquiring where the +deacon of the Presbyterian church lived. + +The bible says consider the lilies. What good would it do a naked man +standing out in the bitter blasts of this night to consider the lilies. + +What is the social position of a man in heaven who through all eternity +remembers that if he had had a grain of courage he would never have +been there. + +The realization of our day does not satisfy the intelligence of the +people--the people have outgrown it. It shocks us and we have got to +have another religion. We must have a religion of charity; one that +will do away with poverty, close the prisons and cover this world with +homes. + + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Heretics and Heresies + +"Liberty, a word without which--All other words are vain." + + +Whoever has an opinion of his own, and honestly expresses it, will be +guilty of heresy. Heresy is what the minority believe; it is a name +given by the powerful to the doctrine of the weak. This word was born +of the hatred, arrogance, and cruelty of those who love their enemies, +and who, when smitten on one cheek, turn the other. This word was born +of intellectual slavery in the feudal ages of thought. It was an +epithet used in the place of argument. From the commencement of the +Christian era, every art has been exhausted, and every conceivable +punishment inflicted to force all people to hold the same religious +opinions. This effort was born of the idea that a certain belief was +necessary to the salvation of the soul. Christ taught, and the church +still teaches, that unbelief is the blackest of crimes. God is +supposed to hate with an infinite and implacable hatred, every heretic +upon the earth, and the heretics who have died are supposed, at this +moment, to be suffering the agonies of the damned. The church +persecutes the living, and her God burns the dead. + +It is claimed that God wrote a book called the bible, and it is +generally admitted that this book is somewhat difficult to understand. +As long as the church had all the copies of this book, and the people +were not allowed to read it, there was comparatively little heresy in +the world; but when it was printed and read, people began honestly to +differ as to its meaning. A few were independent and brave enough to +give the world their real thoughts, and for the extermination of these +men the church used all her power. Protestants and Catholics vied with +each other in the work of enslaving the human mind. For ages they were +rivals in the infamous effort to rid the earth of honest people. They +infested every country, every city, town, hamlet, and family. They +appealed to the worst passions of the human heart. They sowed the +seeds of discord and hatred in every land. Brother denounced brother, +wives informed against their husbands, mothers accused their children, +dungeons were crowded with the innocent; the flesh of the good and true +rotted in the clasp of chains, the flames devoured the heroic, and in +the name of the most merciful God, his children were exterminated with +famine, sword and fire. Over the wild waves of battle rose and fell +the banner of Jesus Christ. For sixteen hundred years the robes of the +church were red with innocent blood. The ingenuity of Christians was +exhausted in devising punishment severe enough to be inflicted upon +other Christians who honestly and sincerely differed with them upon any +point whatever. + +Give any orthodox church the power, and today they would punish heresy +with whip, and chain, and fire. As long as a church deemed a certain +belief essential to salvation, just so long it will kill and burn if it +has the power. Why should the church pity a man whom her God hates? +Why should she show mercy to a kind and noble heretic whom her God will +burn in eternal fire? Why should a Christian be better than his God? +It is impossible for the imagination to conceive of a greater atrocity +than has been perpetrated by the church. Let it be remembered that all +churches have persecuted heretics to the extent of their power. Every +nerve in the human body capable of pain has been sought out and touched +by the church. Toleration has increased only when and where the power +of the church has diminished. From Augustine until now the spirit of +the Christian has remained the same. There has been the same +intolerance, the same undying hatred of all who think for themselves, +the same determination to crush out of the human brain all knowledge +inconsistent with the ignorant creed. + +Every church pretends that it has a revelation from God, and that this +revelation must be given to the people through the church; that the +church acts through its priests, and that ordinary mortals must be +content with a revelation--not from God--but from the church. Had the +people submitted to this preposterous claim, of course there could have +been but one church, and that church never could have advanced. It +might have retrograded, because it is not necessary to think, or +investigate, in order to forget. Without heresy there could have been +no progress. + +The highest type of the orthodox christian does not forget. Neither +does he learn. He neither advances nor recedes. He is a living +fossil, imbedded in that rock called faith. He makes no effort to +better his condition, because all his strength is exhausted in keeping +other people from improving theirs. The supreme desire of his heart is +to force all others to adopt his creed, and in order to accomplish this +object, he denounces all kinds of free thinking as a crime, and this +crime he calls heresy. When he had the power, heresy was the most +terrible and formidable of words. It meant confiscation, exile, +imprisonment, torture, and death. + +In those days the cross and rack were inseparable companions. Across +the open bible lay the sword and fagot. Not content with burning such +heretics as were alive, they even tried the dead, in order that the +church might rob their wives and children. The property of all +heretics was confiscated, and on this account they charged the dead +with being heretical--indicted, as it were, their dust--to the end that +the church might clutch the bread of orphans. Learned divines +discussed propriety of tearing out the tongues of heretics before they +were burned, and the general opinion was that this ought to be done, so +that the heretics should not be able, by uttering blasphemies, to shock +the christians who were burning them. With a mixture of ferocity and +christianity, the priests insisted that heretics ought to be burned at +a slow fire, giving as a reason, that more time was given them for +repentance. + +No wonder that Jesus Christ said, "I came not to bring peace but a +sword!" + +Every priest regarded himself as the agent of God. He answered all +questions by authority, and to treat him with disrespect was an insult +offered to God. No one was asked to think, but all were commanded to +obey. + +In 1208 the inquisition was established. Seven years afterward; the +fourth council of the Lateran enjoined all kings and rulers to swear an +oath that they would exterminate heretics from their dominions. The +sword of the church was unsheathed, and the world was at the mercy of +ignorant and infuriated priests, whose eyes feasted upon the agonies +they inflicted. Acting as they believed, or pretended to believe under +the command of God, stimulated by the hope of infinite reward in +another world--hating heretics with every drop of their bastille +blood--savage beyond description--merciless beyond conception--these +infamous priests in a kind of frenzied joy, leaped upon the helpless +victims of their rage. They crushed their bones in iron boots, tore +their quivering flesh with iron hooks and pinchers, cut off their lips +and eyelids, pulled out their nails, and into the bleeding quick thrust +needles, tore out their tongues, extinguished their eyes, stretched +them upon racks, flayed them alive, crucified them with their head +downward, exposed them to wild beasts, burned them at the stake, mocked +their cries and groans, ravished their wives, robbed their children, +and then prayed God to finish the holy work in hell. + +Millions upon millions were sacrificed upon the altars of bigotry. The +Catholic burned the Lutheran, the Lutheran burned the Catholic; the +Episcopalian tortured the Presbyterian, the Presbyterian tortured the +Episcopalian. Every denomination killed all it could of every other; +and each Christian felt it duty bound to exterminate every other +Christian who denied the smallest fraction of his creed. + +In the reign of Henry the VIII., that pious and moral founder of the +Apostolic Episcopal church, there was passed by the Parliament of +England an act entitled, "An act for abolishing of diversity of +opinion." And in this act was set forth what a good Christian was +obliged to believe. + +First, that in the sacrament was the real body and blood of Jesus +Christ. + +Second, that the body and blood of Jesus Christ was in the bread, and +the blood and body of Jesus Christ was in the wine. + +Third, that priests should not marry. + +Fourth, that vows of chastity were of perpetual obligation. + +Fifth, that private masses ought to be continued. + +And sixth, that auricular confession to a priest must be maintained. + +This creed was made by law, in order that all men might know just what +to believe by simply reading the statute. The church hated to see the +people wearing out their brains in thinking upon these subjects. It +was thought far better that a creed should be made by Parliament, so +that whatever might be lacking in evidence might be made up in force. +The punishment for denying the first article was death by fire. For +the denial of any other article, imprisonment, and for the second +offense--death. + +Your attention is called to these six articles, established during the +reign of Henry VIII, and by the Church of England, simply because not +one of these articles is believed by that church today. If the law +then made by the church could be enforced now, every Episcopalian would +be burned at the stake. + +Similar laws were passed in most Christian countries, as all orthodox +churches firmly believed that mankind could be legislated into heaven. +According to the creed of every church, slavery leads to heaven, +liberty leads to hell. It was claimed that God had founded the church, +and that to deny the authority of the church was to be a traitor to +God, and consequently an ally of the devil. To torture and destroy one +of the soldiers of Satan was a duty no good Christian cared to neglect. +Nothing can be sweeter than to earn the gratitude of God by killing +your own enemies. Such a mingling of profit and revenge, of heaven for +yourself and damnation for those you dislike, is a temptation that your +ordinary Christian never resists. + +According to the theologians, God, the father of us all wrote a letter +to His children. The children have always differed somewhat as to the +meaning of this letter. In consequence of these honest differences, +these brothers began to cut out each other's hearts. In every land, +where this letter from God has been read, the children to whom and for +whom it was written have been filled with hatred and malice. They have +imprisoned and murdered each other, and the wives and children of each +other. In the name of God every possible crime has been committed, +every conceivable outrage has been perpetrated. Brave men, tender and +loving women, beautiful girls, prattling babes have been exterminated +in the name of Jesus Christ. For more than fifty generations the +church has carried the black flag. Her vengeance has been measured +only by her power. During all these years of infamy no heretic has +ever been forgiven. With the heart of a fiend she has hated; with the +clutch of avarice she has grasped; with the jaws of a dragon she has +devoured, pitiless as famine, merciless as fire, with the conscience of +a serpent. Such is the history of the church of God. + +I do not say, and I do not believe, that Christians are as bad as their +creeds. In spite of church and dogma, there have been millions and +millions of men and women true to the loftiest and most generous +promptings of the human heart. They have been true to their +convictions, and with a self-denial and fortitude excelled by none, +have labored and suffered for the salvation of men. Imbued with the +spirit of self-sacrifice, believing that by personal effort they could +rescue at least a few souls from the infinite shadow of hell, they have +cheerfully endured every hardship and scorned danger and death. And +yet, notwithstanding all this, they believed that honest error was a +crime. They knew that the bible so declared, and they believed that +all unbelievers would be eternally lost. They believed that religion +was of God, and all heresy of the devil. They killed heretics in +defense of their own souls and the souls of their children. They +killed them, because, according to their idea, they were the enemies of +God, and because the bible teaches that the blood of the unbeliever is +a most acceptable sacrifice to heaven. + +Nature never prompted a loving mother to throw her child into the +Ganges. Nature never prompted men to exterminate each other for a +difference of opinion concerning the baptism of infants. These crimes +have been produced by religions filled with all that is illogical, +cruel and hideous. These religions were produced for the most part by +ignorance, tyranny, and hypocrisy. Under the impression that the +infinite ruler and creator of the universe had commanded the +destruction of heretics and infidels, the church perpetrated all these +crimes. + +Men and women have been burned for thinking that there was but one God; +that there was none; that the Holy Ghost is younger than God; that God +was somewhat older than his Son; for insisting that good works will +save a man, without faith; that faith will do without good works; for +declaring that a sweet babe will not be barred eternally, because its +parents failed to have its head wet by a priest; for speaking of God as +though He had a nose; for denying that Christ was His own father; for +contending that three persons, rightly added together, make more than +one; for believing in purgatory; for denying the reality of hell; for +pretending that priests can forgive sins; for preaching that God is an +essence; for denying that witches rode through the air on sticks; for +doubting the total depravity of the human heart; for laughing at +irresistible grace, predestination, and particular redemption; for +denying that good bread could be made of the body of a dead man; for +pretending that the Pope was not managing this world for God, and in +place of God, for disputing the efficacy of a vicarious atonement; for +thinking that the Virgin Mary was born like other people; for thinking +that a man's rib was hardly sufficient to make a good sized woman; for +denying that God used His finger for a pen; for asserting that prayers +are not answered, that diseases are not set to punish unbelief; for +denying the authority of the bible; for having a bible in their +possession; for attending mass, and for refusing to attend, for wearing +a surplice; for carrying a cross, and for refusing; for being a +Catholic, and for being a Protestant, for being an Episcopalian, a +Presbyterian, a Baptist, and for being a Quaker. In short, every +virtue has been a crime, and every crime a virtue. The church has +burned honesty and rewarded hypocrisy, and all this she did because it +was commanded by a book--a book that men had been taught implicitly to +believe, long before they knew one word that was in it. They had been +taught that to doubt the truth of this book, to examine it, even, was a +crime of such enormity that it could not be forgiven, either in this +world or in the next. + +The bible was the real persecutor. The bible burned heretics, built +dungeons, founded the Inquisition, and trampled upon all the liberties +of men. + +How long, O how long will mankind worship a book? How long will they +grovel in the dust before the ignorant legends of the barbaric past? +How long, O how long will they pursue phantoms in a darkness deeper +than death? + +Unfortunately for the world, about the beginning of the sixteenth +century a man by the name of Gerard Chauvin was married to Jeanne +Lefranc, and still more unfortunately for the world, the fruit of this +marriage was a son, called John Chauvin, who afterward became famous as +John Calvin, the founder of the Presbyterian church. + +This man forged five fetters for the brain. These fetters he called +points. That is to say, predestination, particular redemption, total +depravity, irresistible grace, and the perseverance of the saints. +About the neck of each follower he put a collar, bristling with these +five iron points. The presence of all these points on the collar is +still the test of orthodoxy in the church he founded. This man, when +in the flush of youth, was elected to the office of preacher in Geneva. +He at once, in union with Farel, drew up a condensed statement of the +Presbyterian doctrine, and all the citizens of Geneva, on pain of +banishment, were compelled to take an oath that they, believed this +statement. Of this proceeding Calvin very innocently remarked, that it +produced great satisfaction. A man by the name of Caroli had the +audacity to dispute with Calvin. For this outrage he was banished. + +To show you what great subjects occupied the attention of Calvin, it is +only necessary to state, that he furiously discussed the question, as +to whether the sacramental bread should be leavened or unleavened. He +drew up laws regulating the cut of the citizens' clothes, and +prescribed their diet, and all whose garments were not in the Calvin +fashion were refused the sacrament. At last, the people becoming tired +of this petty, theological tyranny, banished Calvin. In a few years, +however, he was recalled and received with great enthusiasm. After +this, he was supreme, and the will of Calvin became the law of Geneva. +Under the benign administration of Calvin, James Gruet was beheaded +because he had written some profane verses. The slightest word against +Calvin or his absurd doctrine was punished as a crime. + +In 1553, a man was tried at Vienne by the Catholic church for heresy. +He was convicted and sentenced to death by burning. It was his good +fortune to escape. Pursued by the sleuth hounds of intolerance he fled +to Geneva for protection. A dove flying from hawks, sought safety in +the nest of a vulture. This fugitive from the cruelty of Rome asked +shelter from John Calvin, who had written a book in favor of religious +toleration. Servetus had forgotten that this book was written by +Calvin when in the minority; that it was written in weakness to be +forgotten in power; that it was produced by fear instead of principle. +He did not know that Calvin had caused his arrest at Vienne, in France, +and had sent a copy of his work, which was claimed to be blasphemous to +the archbishop. He did not then know that the Protestant, Calvin, was +acting as one of the detectives of the Catholic church, and had been +instrumental in procuring his conviction for heresy. Ignorant of all +this unspeakable infamy, he put himself in the power of this very +Calvin. The maker of the Presbyterian creed caused the fugitive +Servetus to be arrested for blasphemy. He was tried; Calvin was his +accuser. He was convicted and condemned to death by fire. On the +morning of the fatal day, Calvin saw him; and Servetus, the victim, +asked forgiveness of Calvin, the murderer, for anything he might have +said that had wounded his feelings. Servetus was bound to the stake, +the fagots were lighted. The wind carried the flames somewhat away +from his body, so that he slowly roasted for hours. Vainly he implored +a speedy death. At last the flame climbed around his form; through +smoke and fire his murderers saw a white, heroic face. And there they +watched until a man became a charred and shriveled mass. + +Liberty was banished from Geneva, and nothing but Presbyterianism was +left; honor, justice, mercy, reason and charity were all exiled; but +the five points of predestination, particular redemption, irresistible +grace, total depravity, and the certain perseverance of the saints +remained instead. + +Calvin founded a little theocracy in Geneva, modeled after the old +testament, and succeeded in erecting the most detestable government +that ever existed, except the one from which it was copied. + +Against all this intolerance, one man, a minister, raised his voice. +The name of this man should never be forgotten. It was Castellio. +This brave man had the goodness and the courage to declare the +innocence of honest error. He was the first of the so-called reformers +to take this noble ground. I wish I had the genius to pay a fitting +tribute to his memory. Perhaps it would be impossible to pay him a +grander compliment than to say, Castellio was in all things the +opposite of Calvin. To plead for the right of individual judgment was +considered as a crime, and Castellio was driven from Geneva by John +Calvin. By him he was denounced as a child of the devil, as a dog of +Satan, as a beast from hell, and as one who, by this horrid blasphemy +of the innocence of honest error, crucified Christ afresh, and by him +he was pursued until rescued by the hand of death. + +Upon the name of Castellio, Calvin heaved every epithet, until his +malice was satisfied and his imagination exhausted. It is impossible +to conceive how human nature can become so frightfully perverted as to +pursue a fellow-man with the malignity of a fiend, simply because he is +good, just and generous. + +Calvin was of a pallid, bloodless complexion, thin, sickly, irritable, +gloomy, impatient, egotistic, tyrannical, heartless and infamous. He +was a strange compound of revengeful morality, malicious forgiveness, +ferocious charity, egotistic humility, and a kind of hellish justice. +In other words, he was as near like the God of the old testament as his +Health permitted. + +The best thing, however, about the Presbyterians of Geneva was, that +they denied the power of the Pope, and the best thing about the Pope +was, that he was not a Presbyterian. + +The doctrines of Calvin spread rapidly, and were eagerly accepted by +multitudes on the continent. But Scotland, in a few years, became the +real fortress of Presbyterianism. The Scotch rivaled the adherents of +Calvin, and succeeded in establishing the same kind of theocracy that +flourished in Geneva. The clergy took possession and control of +everybody and everything. It is impossible to exaggerate the slavery, +the mental degradation, the abject superstition of the people of +Scotland during the reign of Presbyterianism. Heretics were hunted and +devoured as though they had been wild beasts. The gloomy insanity of +Presbyterianism took possession of a great majority of the people. +They regarded their ministers as the Jews did Moses and Aaron. They +believed that they were the especial agents of God, and that whatsoever +they bound in Scotland would be bound in heaven. There was not one +particle of intellectual freedom. No one was allowed to differ from +the church, or to even contradict a priest. Had Presbyterianism +maintained its ascendancy, Scotland would have been peopled by savages +today. The revengeful spirit of Calvin took possession of the Puritans +and caused them to redden the soil of the new world with the brave +blood of honest men. Clinging to the five points of Calvin, they, too, +established governments in accordance with the teachings of the old +testament. They, too, attached the penalty of death to the expression +of honest thought. They, too, believed their church supreme, and +exerted all their power to curse this continent with a spiritual +despotism as infamous as it was absurd. They believed with Luther that +universal toleration is universal error, and universal error is +universal hell. Toleration was denounced as a crime. Fortunately for +us, civilization has had a softening effect upon the Presbyterian +church. To the ennobling influence of the arts and science the savage +spirit of Calvinism has, in some slight degree, succumbed. True, the +old creed remains substantially as it was written, but by a kind of +tacit understanding it has come to be regarded as a relic of the past. +The cry of "heresy" has been growing fainter and fainter, and, as a +consequence, the ministers of that denomination have ventured now and +then to express doubts as to the damnation of infants, and the doctrine +of total depravity. The fact is, the old ideas became a little +monotonous to the people. The fall of man, the scheme of redemption +and irresistible grace, began to have a familiar sound. The preachers +told the old stories while the congregation slept. Some of the +ministers became tired of these stories themselves. The five points +grew dull, and they felt that nothing short of irresistible grace could +bear this endless repetition. The outside world was full of progress, +and in every direction men advanced, while the church, anchored to a +creed, idly rotted at the shore. Other denominations, imbued some +little with the spirit of investigation, were springing up on every +side, while the old Presbyterian ark rested on the Ararat of the past, +filled with the theological monsters of another age. + +Lured by the splendors of the outer world, tempted by the achievements +of science, longing to feel the throw and beat of the mighty march of +the human race, a few of the ministers of this conservative +denomination were compelled by irresistible sense, to say a few words +in harmony with the splendid ideas of today. + +These utterances have upon several occasions so nearly awakened some of +the members, that, rubbing their eyes, they have feebly inquired +whether these grand ideas were not somewhat heretical? These ministers +found that just in proportion as their orthodoxy decreased, their +congregations increased. Those who dealt in the pure unadulterated +article, found themselves demonstrating the five points to a less +number of hearers than they had points. Stung to madness by this bitter +truth, this galling contrast, this harassing fact, the really orthodox +have raised the cry of heresy, and expect with this cry to seal the +lips of honest men. One of these ministers, and one who has been +enjoying the luxury of a little honest thought, and the real rapture of +expressing it, has already been indicted, and is about to be tried by +the Presbytery of Illinois. + +He has been charged: + +First. With speaking in an ambiguous language in relation to that dear +old doctrine of the fall of man. With having neglected to preach that +most comforting and consoling truth, the eternal damnation of the soul. + +Surely, that man must be a monster who could wish to blot this blessed +doctrine out and rob earth's wretched children of this blissful hope! + +Who can estimate the misery that has been caused by this most infamous +doctrine of eternal punishment? Think of the lives it has blighted--of +the tears it has caused--of the agony it has produced. Think of the +millions who have been driven to insanity by this most terrible of +dogmas. This doctrine renders God the basest and most cruel being in +the universe. Compared with him, the most frightful deities of the +most barbarous and degraded tribes are miracles of goodness and mercy. +There is nothing more degrading than to worship such a God. Lower than +this the soul can never sink. If the doctrine of eternal damnation is +true, let me have my portion in hell, rather than in heaven with a God +infamous enough to inflict eternal misery upon any of the sons of men. + +Second. With having spoken a few kind words of Robert Collyer and John +Stuart Mill. + +I have the honor of a slight acquaintance with Robert Collyer. I have +read with pleasure some of his exquisite productions. He has a brain +full of the dawn, the head of a philosopher, the imagination of a poet, +and the sincere heart of a child. + +Is a minister to be silenced because he speaks fairly of a noble and +candid adversary? Is it a crime to compliment a lover of justice, an +advocate of liberty; one who devoted his life to the elevation of man, +the discovery of truth, and the promulgation of what he believed to be +right? + +Can that tongue be palsied by a presbytery that praises a self-denying +and heroic life? Is it a sin to speak a charitable word over the grave +of John Stuart Mill? Is it heretical to pay a just and graceful +tribute to departed worth? Must the true Presbyterian violate the +sanctity of the tomb, dig open the grave, and ask his God to curse the +silent dust? Is Presbyterianism so narrow that it conceives of no +excellence, of no purity of intention, of no spiritual and moral +grandeur outside of its barbaric creed? Does it still retain within +its stony heart all the malice of its founder? Is it still warming its +fleshless hands at the flames that consumed Servetus? Does it still +glory in the damnation of infants, and does it still persist in +emptying the cradle in order that perdition may be filled? Is it still +starving the soul and famishing the heart? Is it still trembling and +shivering, crouching and crawling, before its ignorant confession of +faith? Had such men as Robert Collyer and John Stuart Mill been +present at the burning of Servetus, they would have extinguished the +flames with their tears. Had the Presbytery of Chicago been there, +they would have quietly turned their backs, solemnly divided their +coat-tails and warmed themselves. + +Third. With having spoken disparagingly of the doctrine of +predestination. + +If there is any dogma that ought to be protected by law, predestination +is that doctrine. Surely it is a cheerful, joyous thing to one who is +laboring, struggling and suffering in this weary world, to think that +before he existed, before the earth was, before a star had glittered in +the heavens, before a ray of light had left the quiver of the sun, his +destiny had been irrevocably fixed, and that for an eternity before his +birth he had been doomed to bear eternal pain! + +Fourth. With having failed to preach the efficacy of vicarious +sacrifice. + +Suppose a man had been convicted of murder, and was about to be +hanged--the Governor acting as the executioner. And suppose just as +the doomed man was to suffer death, some one in the crowd should step +forward and say, "I am willing to die in the place of that murderer. +He has a family, and I have none." And suppose further that the +Governor should reply, "Come forward, young man, your offer is +accepted. A murder has been committed, and somebody must be hung, and +your death will satisfy the law just as well as the death of the +murderer." What would you then think of the doctrine of vicarious +sacrifice?" + +This doctrine is the consummation of two outrages--forgiving one crime +and committing another. + +Fifth. With having inculcated a phase of the doctrine commonly known +as "Evolution" or "Development." The church believes and teaches the +exact opposite of this doctrine. According to the philosophy of +theology, man has continued to degenerate for six thousand years. To +teach that there is that in Nature which impels to higher forms and +grander ends, is heresy of course. The Deity will damn Spencer and his +"Evolution," Darwin and his "Origin of Species," Bastin and his +"Spontaneous Generation," Huxley and his "Protoplasm," Tyndall and his +"Prayer Guage," and will save those, and those only who declare that +the universe has been cursed from the smallest atom to the grandest +star; that everything tends to evil, and to that only; and that the +only perfect thing in Nature is the Presbyterian confession of faith. + +Sixth. With having intimated that the reception of Socrates and +Penelope at heaven's gate was, to say the least, a trifle more cordial +than that of Catherine II. + +Penelope waiting patiently and trustfully for her lord's return, +delaying her suitors, while sadly weaving and un-weaving the shroud of +Laertes, is the most perfect type of wife and woman produced by the +civilization of Greece. + +Socrates, whose life was above reproach, and whose death was beyond all +praise, stands today, in the estimation of every thoughtful man, at +least the peer of Christ. + +Catharine II assassinated her husband. Stepping upon his corpse, she +mounted the throne. She was the murderess of Prince Ivan, the +grand-nephew of Peter the Great, who was imprisoned for eighteen years, +and who, during all that time, saw the sky but once. Taken all in all, +Catharine was probably one of the most intellectual beasts that ever +wore a crown. + +Catharine, however, was the head of the Greek Church, Socrates was a +heretic, and Penelope lived and died without having once heard of +"particular redemption," or "irresistible grace." + +Seventh. With repudiating the idea of a "call" to ministry, and +pretending that men were "called," to preach as they were to the other +avocations of life. + +If this doctrine is true, God, to say the least of it, is an +exceedingly poor judge of human nature. It is more than a century +since a man of true genius has been found in an orthodox pulpit. Every +minister is heretical just to the extent that his intellect is above +the average. The Lord seems to be satisfied with mediocrity; but the +people are not. + +An old deacon, wishing to get rid of an unpopular preacher, advised him +to give up the ministry, and turn his attention to something else. The +preacher replied that he could not conscientiously desert the pulpit, +as he had a "call" to the ministry. To which the deacon replied, "That +may be so, but it's mighty unfortunate for you that when God called you +to preach, He forgot to call anybody to hear you." + +There is nothing more stupidly egotistic than the claim of the clergy +that they are, in some divine sense, set apart to the service of the +Lord; that they have been chosen and sanctified; that there is an +infinite difference between them and persons employed in secular +affairs. They teach us that all other professions must take care of +themselves; that God allows anybody to be a doctor, a lawyer, +statesman, soldier, or artist; that the Motts and Coopers--the +Mansfields and Marshalls--the Wilberforces and Sumners--the Angelos and +Raphaels--were never honored by a "call." These chose their +professions and won their laurels without the assistance of the Lord. +All these men were left free to follow their own inclinations while God +was busily engaged selecting and "calling" priests, rectors, elders, +ministers and exhorters. + +Eighth. With having doubted that God was the author of the 109th Psalm. + +The portion of that Psalm which carries with it the clearest and most +satisfactory evidences of inspiration, and which has afforded almost +unspeakable consolation to the Presbyterian church, is as follows: + +"Set thou a wicked man over him; and let Satan stand at his right hand. + +"When he shall be judged, let him be condemned; and let his prayer +become sin. + +"Let his days be few; and let another take his office. + +"Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow. + +"Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg; let them seek +their bread also out of their desolate places. + +"Let the extortioner catch all that he hated; and let the strangers +spoil his labor. + +"Let there be none to extend mercy unto him; neither let there be none +to favor his fatherless children. + +"Let his posterity be cut off; and in the generation following let +their name be blotted out. + +"But do thou for me, O God the Lord, for Thy name's sake; because Thy +mercy is good, deliver thou me.... I will greatly praise the Lord with +my mouth." + +Think of a God wicked and malicious enough to inspire this prayer. +Think of one infamous enough to answer it. Had this inspired Psalm +been found in some temple erected for the worship of snakes, or in the +possession of some cannibal king, written with blood upon the dried +skins of babes, there would have been a perfect harmony between its +surroundings and its sentiments. + +No wonder that the author of this inspired Psalm coldly received +Socrates and Penelope, and reserved his sweetest smiles for Catharine +the Second! + +Ninth. With having said that the battles in which the Israelites +engaged with the approval and command of Jehovah surpassed in cruelty +those of Julius Caesar. + +Was it Julius Caesar who said, "And the Lord our God delivered him +before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people. And we +took all his cities, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women and +the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain?" + +Did Julius Caesar send the following report to the Roman Senate? "And +we took all his cities at that time, there was not a city which we took +not from them, three-score city, all the region of Argob, the kingdom +of Og, in Bashan. All these cities were fenced with high walls, gates +and bars; besides unwalled towns a great many. And we utterly +destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon, king of Heshbon, utterly +destroying the men, women, and children of every city." + +Did Caesar take the city of Jericho "and utterly destroy all that was +in the city, both man and woman, young and old?" Did he smite "all the +country of the hills, and of the south, and of the vale, and of the +springs, and all their kings, and leave none remaining that breathed, +as the Lord God had commanded?" + +Search the records of the whole world, find out the history of every +barbarous tribe, and you can find no crime that touched a lower depth +of infamy than those the bible's God commanded and approved. For such +a God I have no words to express my loathing and contempt, and all the +words in all the languages of man would scarcely be sufficient. Away +with such a God! Give me Jupiter rather, with Io and Europa, or even +Siva with his skulls and snakes, or give me none. + +Tenth. With having repudiated the doctrines of total depravity. + +What a precious doctrine is that of the total depravity of the human +heart! How sweet it is to believe that the lives of all the good and +great were continual sins and perpetual crimes; that the love a mother +bears her child is, in the sight of God, a sin; that the gratitude of +the natural heart is simple meanness; that the tears of pity are +impure; that for the unconverted to live and labor for others is an +offense to heaven; that the noblest aspirations of the soul are low and +groveling in the sight of God; that man should fall upon his knees and +ask forgiveness, simply for loving his wife and child, and that even +the act of asking forgiveness is in fact a crime. + +Surely it is a kind of bliss to feel that every woman and child in the +wide world, with the exception of those who believe the five points, or +some other equally cruel creed, and such children as have been +baptized, ought at this very moment to be dashed down to the lowest +glowing gulf of the hell! + +Take from the Christian the history of his own church; leave that +entirely out of the question, and he has no argument left with which to +substantiate the total depravity of man. + +A minister once asked an old lady, a member of his church, what she +thought of the doctrine of total depravity, and the dear old soul +replied that she thought it a mighty good doctrine if the Lord would +only give the people grace enough to live up to it? + +Eleventh. With having doubted the "perseverance of the saints." + +I suppose the real meaning of this doctrine is that Presbyterians are +just as sure of going to heaven as all other folks are of going to +hell. The real idea being, that it all depends upon the will of God, +and not upon the character of the person to be damned or saved; that +God has the weakness to send Presbyterians to Paradise, and the justice +to doom the rest of mankind to eternal fire. + +It is admitted that no unconverted brain can see the least of sense in +this doctrine; that it is abhorrent to all who have not been the +recipients of a "new heart;" that only the perfectly good can justify +the perfectly infamous. + +It is contended that the saints do not persevere of their own free +will--that they are entitled to no credit for persevering; but that God +forces them to persevere; while on the other hand, every crime is +committed in accordance with the secret will of God, who does all +things for His own glory. Compared with this doctrine, there is no +other idea, that has ever been believed by man, that can properly be +called absurd. + +As to the doctrine of the perseverance of the saints, I wish with all +my heart that it may prove to be a fact, I really hope that every +saint, no matter how badly he may break on the first quarter, nor how +many shoes he may cast at the half-mile pole, will foot it bravely down +the long home-stretch, and win eternal heaven by at least a neck. + +Twelfth. With having spoken and written somewhat lightly of the idea +of converting the heathen with doctrinal sermons. + +Of all the failures of which we have any history or knowledge the +missionary effort is the most conspicuous. The whole question has been +decided here, in our own country, and conclusively settled. We have +nearly exterminated the Indians; but we have converted none. From the +days of John Eliot to the execution of the last Modoc, not one Indian +has been the subject of irresistible grace or particular redemption. +The few red men who roam the Western wilderness have no thought or care +concerning the five points of Calvin. They are utterly oblivious to +the great and vital truths contained in the Thirty-nine articles, the +Saybrook platform, and the resolutions of the Evangelical Alliance. No +Indian has ever scalped another on account of his religious belief. +This of itself shows conclusively that the missionaries have had no +effect. + +Why should we convert the heathen of China and kill our own? Why +should we send missionaries across the seas, and soldiers over the +plains? Why should we send bibles to the East and muskets to the West? +If it is impossible to convert Indians who have no religion of their +own; no prejudice for or against the "eternal procession of the Holy +Ghost," how can we expect to convert a heathen who has a religion; who +has plenty of gods and bibles and prophets and Christs, and who has a +religious literature far grander than our own? Can we hope, with the +story of Daniel in the lion's den, to rival the stupendous miracles of +India? Is there anything in our bible as lofty and loving as the +prayer of the Buddhist? Compare your "Confession of Faith" with the +following: + +"Never will I seek nor receive private individual salvation--never +enter into final peace alone; but forever and everywhere will I live +and strive for the universal redemption of every creature throughout +all worlds. Until all are delivered, never will I leave the world of +sin, sorrow and struggle, but will remain where I am." + +Think of sending an average Presbyterian to convert a man who daily +offers this tender, this infinitely generous and incomparable prayer! +Think of reading the 109th Psalm to a heathen who has a bible of his +own, in which is found this passage: "Blessed is that man, and beloved +of all the gods, who is afraid of no man, and of whom no man is afraid!" + +Why should you read even the new testament to a Hindoo, when his own +Chrishna has said: "If a man strike thee, and in striking drop his +staff, pick it up and hand it to him again?" Why send a Presbyterian +to a Sufi, who says: "Better one moment of silent contemplation and +inward love, than seventy thousand years of outward worship?" +"Whosoever would carelessly tread one worm that crawls on earth, that +heartless one is darkly alienate from God; but he that, living, +embraceth all things in his love, to live with him God bursts all +bounds above, below." + +Why should we endeavor to thrust our cruel and heartless theology upon +one who prays this prayer: "O God, show pity toward the wicked; for on +the good thou hast already bestowed thy mercy by having created them +virtuous?" + +Compare this prayer with the curses and cruelties of the old +testament--with the infamies commanded and approved by the being whom +the are taught to worship as a God, and with the following tender +product of Presbyterianism: "It may seem absurd to human wisdom that +God should harden, blind, and deliver up some men to a reprobate sense; +that He should first deliver them over to evil, and then condemn them +for that evil; but the believing spiritual man sees no absurdity in all +this, knowing that God would never be a whit less good, even though He +should destroy all men." + +Of all the religions that have been produced by the egotism, the +malice, the ignorance and ambition of man, Presbyterianism is the most +hideous. + +But what shall I say more? for the time would fail me to tell of +Sabellianism, of a "Model trinity" and the "eternal procession of the +Holy Ghost." + +Upon these charges a minister is to be tried, here in Chicago; in this +city of pluck and progress--this marvel of energy, and this miracle of +nerve. The cry of "heresy" here, sounds like a wail from the Dark +Ages--a shriek from the Inquisition, or a groan from the grave of +Calvin. + +Another effort is being made to enslave a man. It is claimed that +every member of the church has solemnly agreed never to outgrow the +creed; that he has pledged himself to remain an intellectual dwarf. +Upon this condition the church agrees to save his soul, and he hands +over his brains to bind the bargain. Should a fact be found +inconsistent with the creed, he binds himself to deny the fact and +curse the finder. With scraps of dogmas and crumbs of doctrine, he +agrees that his soul shall be satisfied forever. What an intellectual +feast the confession of faith must be! It reminds one of the dinner +described by Sidney Smith, where everything was cold except the water, +and everything sour except the vinegar. + +Every member of a church promises to remain orthodox, that is to +say--stationary. Growth is heresy. Orthodox ideas are the feathers +that have been molted by the eagle of progress. They are the dead +leaves under the majestic palm; while heresy is the bud and blossom at +the top. + +Imagine a vine that grows at one end and decays at the other. The end +that grows is heresy; the end that rots is orthodox. The dead are +orthodox, and your cemetery is the most perfect type of a well +regulated church. No thought, no progress, no heresy there. Slowly +and silently, side by side, the satisfied members peacefully decay. +There is only this difference--the dead do not persecute. + +And what does a trial for heresy mean? It means that the church says +to a heretic, "Believe as I do, or I will withdraw my support; I will +not employ you; I will pursue you until your garments are rags; until +your children cry for bread; until your cheeks are furrowed with tears. +I will hunt you to the very portals of the tomb, and then my God will +do the rest. I will not imprison you. I will not burn you. The law +prevents my doing that. I helped make the law, not, however, to +protect you, nor deprive me of the right to exterminate you, but in +order to keep other churches from exterminating me." + +A trial for heresy means that the spirit of persecution still lingers +in the church; that it still denies the right of private judgment; that +it still thinks more of creed than truth; that it is still determined +to prevent the intellectual growth of man. It means that churches are +shambles in which are bought and sold the souls of men. It means that +the church is still guilty of the barbarity of opposing thought with +force. It means that if it had the power, the mental horizon would be +bounded by a creed, that it would bring again the whips, and chains, +and dungeon keys, the rack and fagot of the past. + +But let me tell the church it lacks the power. There has been, and +still are, too many men who own themselves--too much thought, too much +knowledge for the church to grasp again the sword of power. The church +must abdicate. For the Eglon of superstition, science has a message +from truth. + +The heretics have not thought and suffered and died in vain. Every +heretic has been, and is, a ray of light. Not in vain did Voltaire, +that great man, point from the foot of the Alps, the finger of scorn at +every hypocrite in Europe. Not in vain were the splendid utterances of +the infidels, while beyond all price are the discoveries of science. +The church has impeded, but it has not and it cannot stop the onward +march of the human race. Heresy can not be burned, nor imprisoned, nor +starved. It laughs at presbyteries and synods, at Ecumenical councils +and the impotent thunders of Sinai. Heresy is the eternal dawn, the +morning star, the glittering herald of the day. Heresy is the last and +best thought. It is the perpetual new world; the unknown sea, toward +which the brave all sail. It is the eternal horizon of progress. +Heresy extends the hospitalities of the brain to new thoughts. Heresy +is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin. + +Why should a man be afraid to think, and why should he fear to express +his thoughts? + +Is it possible that an infinite Deity is unwilling that man should +investigate the phenomena by which he is surrounded? + +Is it possible that a God delights in threatening and terrifying men? +What glory, what honor and renown a God must win in such a field! The +ocean raving at a drop; a star envious of a candle; the sun jealous of +a firefly! + +Go on, presbyteries and synods, go on! Thrust the heretics out of the +church. That is to say, throw away your brains--put out your eyes. +The Infidels will thank you. They are willing to adopt your exiles. +Every deserter from your camp is a recruit for the army of progress. +Cling to the ignorant dogmas of the past; read the 109th Psalm; gloat +over the slaughter of mothers and babes; thank God for total depravity; +shower your honors upon hypocrites, and silence every minister who is +touched with that heresy called genius. + +Be true to your history. Turn out the astronomers, the geologists, the +naturalists, the chemists, and all the honest scientists. With a whip +of scorpions, drive them all out. We want them all. Keep the +ignorant, the superstitious, the bigoted, and the writers of charges +and specifications. Keep them, and keep them all. Repeat your pious +platitudes in the drowsy ears of the faithful, and read your bible to +heretics, as kings read some forgotten riot-act to stop and stay the +waves of revolution. You are too weak to excite anger. We forgive +your efforts as the sun forgives a cloud--as the air forgives the +breath you waste. + +How long, O how long will man listen to the threats of God, and shut +his ears to the splendid promises of Nature? How long, O how long will +man remain the cringing slave of a false and cruel creed. + +By this time the whole world should know that the real bible has not +yet been written; but is being written, and that it will never be +finished until the race begins its downward march or ceases to exist. +The real bible is not the work of inspired men, nor prophets, nor +apostles, nor evangelists, nor of Christ. Every man who finds a fact, +adds, as it were, a word to this great book. It is not attested by +prophecy, by miracles or by signs. It makes no appeal to faith, to +ignorance, to credulity of fear. It has no punishment for unbelief, +and no reward for hypocrisy. It appears to men in the name of +demonstration. It has nothing to conceal. It has no fear of being +read, of being investigated and understood. It does not pretend to be +holy or sacred; it simply claims to be true. It challenges the +scrutiny of all, and implores every reader to verify every line for +himself. It is incapable of being blasphemed. This book appeals to +all the surroundings of man. Each thing that exists testifies of its +perfection. The earth with its heart of fire and crowns of snow; with +its forests and plains, its rocks and seas; with its every wave and +cloud; with its every leaf, and bud, and flower, confirms its every +word, and the solemn stars, shining in the infinite abysses, are the +eternal witnesses of its truth. + + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on The Bible + + + +The true bible appeals to man in the name of demonstration. It has +nothing to conceal. It has no fear of being read, of being +contradicted, of being investigated and understood. It does not +pretend to be holy or sacred, it simply claims to be true. It +challenges the scrutiny of all, and implores every reader to verify +every line for himself. It is incapable of being blasphemed. This +book appeals to all the surroundings of man. Each thing that exists +testifies of its perfection. The earth, with its heart of fire and +crowns of snow; with its forests and plains, its rocks and seas; with +its every wave and cloud; with its every leaf and bud and flower, +confirms its every word, and the solemn stars, shining in the infinite +abysses, are the external witnesses of its truth. + +I will tell you what I mean by inspiration. I go and look at the sea, +and the sea says something to me; it makes an impression upon my mind. +That impression depends, first, upon my experience; secondly, upon my +intellectual capacity. Another looks upon the same sea. He has a +different brain, he has had a different experience, he has different +memories and different hopes. The sea may speak to him of joy and to me +of grief and sorrow. The sea cannot tell the same thing to two beings, +because no two human beings have had the same experience. So, when I +look upon a flower, or a star, or a painting, or a statue, the more I +know about sculpture the more that statue speaks to me. The more I have +had of human experience, the more I have read, the greater brain I +have, the more the star says to me. In other words, nature says to me +all that I am capable of understanding. + +Think of a God wicked and malicious enough to inspire this prayer in +the 109th Psalm! Think of one infamous enough to answer it! Had this +inspired Psalm been found in some temple erected for the worship of +snakes, or in the possession of some cannibal king, written with blood +upon the dried skins of babes, there would have been a perfect harmony +between its surroundings and its sentiments. + +Now, I read the bible, and I find that God so loved this world that he +made up his mind to damn the most of us. I have read this book and what +shall I say of it? I believe it is generally better to be honest. Now, +I don't believe the bible. Had I not better say so? They say that if +you do you will regret it when you come to die. If that be true, I know +a great many religious people who will have no cause to regret it--they +don't tell their honest convictions about the bible. + +The bible was the real persecutor. The bible burned heretics, built +dungeons, founded the Inquisition, and trampled upon all the liberties +of men. How long, O how long, will mankind worship a book? How long +will they grovel in the dust before the ignorant legends of the +barbaric past? How long, O how long, will they pursue phantoms in a +darkness deeper than death? + +The believers in the bible are loud in their denunciation of what they +are pleased to call the immoral literature of the world; and yet few +books have been published containing more moral filth than this +inspired word of God. These stories are not redeemed by a single flash +of wit or humor. They never rise above the dull details of stupid vice. +For one, I cannot afford to soil my pages with extracts from them; and +all such portions of the scriptures I leave to be examined, written +upon, and explained by the clergy. Clergymen may know some way by which +they can extract honey from these flowers. Until these passages are +expunged from the old testament, it is not a fit book to be read by +either old or young. It contains pages that no minister in the United +States would read to his congregation for any reward whatever. There +are chapters that no gentleman would read in the presence of a lady. +There are chapters that no father would read to his child. There are +narratives utterly unfit to be told; and the time will come when +mankind will wonder that such a book was ever called inspired. + +But as long as the bible is considered as the work of God, it will be +hard to make all men too good and pure to imitate it; and as long as it +is imitated there will be vile and filthy books. The literature of our +country will not be sweet and clean until the bible ceases to be +regarded as the production of a god. + +In the days of Thomas Paine the church believed and taught that every +word in the bible was absolutely true. Since his day it has been proven +false in its cosmogony, false in its astronomy, false in its +chronology, false in its history, and so far as the old testament is +concerned, false in almost everything. There are but few, if any, +scientific men who apprehend that the bible is literally true. Who on +earth at this day would pretend to settle any scientific question by a +text from the bible? The old belief is confined to the ignorant and +zealous. The church itself will before long be driven to occupy the +position of Thomas Paine! + +I love any man who gave me, or helped to give me, the liberty I enjoy +tonight. I love every man who helped put our flag in heaven. I love +every man who has lifted his voice in all the ages for liberty, for a +chainless body, and a fetterless brain. I love every man who has given +to every other human being every right that he claimed for himself. I +love every man who thought more of principle than he did of position. I +love the men who have trampled crowns beneath their feet that they +might do something for mankind. + +The best minds of the orthodox world, today, are endeavoring to prove +the existence of a personal Deity. All other questions occupy a minor +place. You are no longer asked to swallow the bible whole, whale, Jonah +and all; you are simply required to believe in God, and pay your +pew-rent. There is not now an enlightened minister in the world who +will seriously contend that Samson's strength was in his hair, or that +the necromancers of Egypt could turn water into blood, and pieces of +wood into serpents. These follies have passed away. + +For my part, I would infinitely prefer to know all the results of +scientific investigation than to be inspired as Moses was. Supposing +the bible to be true; why is it any worse or more wicked for +free-thinkers to deny it, than for priests to deny the doctrine of +evolution, or the dynamic theory of heat? Why should we be damned for +laughing at Samson and his foxes, while others, holding the nebular +hypothesis in utter contempt, go straight to heaven? + +Now when I come to a book, for instance, I read the writings of +Shakespeare--Shakespeare, the greatest human being who ever existed +upon this globe. What do I get out of him? All that I have sense enough +to understand. I get my little cup full. Let another read him who knows +nothing of the drama, who knows nothing of the impersonation of +passion; what does he get from him? Very little. In other words, every +man gets from a book, a flower, a star, or the sea, what he is able to +get from his intellectual development and experience. Do you then +believe that the bible is a different book to every human being that +receives it? I do. Can God, then, through the bible, make the same +revelation to two men? He cannot. Why? Because the man who reads is the +man who inspires. Inspiration is in the man and not in the book. + +The real oppressor, enslaver and corrupter of the people is the bible. +That book is the chain that binds, the dungeon that holds the clergy. +That book spreads the pall of superstition over the colleges and +schools. That book puts out the eyes of science, and makes honest +investigation a crime. That book unmans the politician and degrades the +people. That book fills the world with bigotry, hypocrisy and fear. + +Volumes might be written upon the infinite absurdity of this most +incredible, wicked and foolish of all the fables contained in that +repository of the impossible, called the bible. To me it is a matter of +amazement, that it ever was for a moment believed by any intelligent +human being. + +Is it not infinitely more reasonable to say that this book is the work +of man, that it is filled with mingled truth and error, with mistakes +and facts, and reflects, too faithfully perhaps, the "very form and +pressure of its time?" If there are mistakes in the bible, certainly +they were made by man. If there is anything contrary to nature, it was +written by man. If there is anything immoral, cruel, heartless or +infamous, it certainly was never written by a being worthy of the +adoration of mankind. + +It strikes me that God might write a book that would not necessarily +excite the laughter of his children. In fact, I think it would be safe +to say that a real god could produce a work that would excite the +admiration of mankind. + +The man who now regards the old testament as, in any sense, a sacred or +inspired book is, in my judgment, an intellectual and moral deformity. +There is in it so much that is cruel, ignorant and ferocious that it is +to me a matter of amazement that it was ever thought to be the work of +a most merciful deity. + +Admitting that the bible is the book of God, is that His only good job? +Will not a man be damned as quick for denying the equator as denying +the bible? Will he not be damned as quick for denying geology as for +denying the scheme of salvation? When the bible was first written it +was not believed. Had they known as much about science as we know now, +that bible would not have been written. + +Every sect is a certificate that God has not plainly revealed His will +to man. To each reader the bible conveys a different meaning. About the +meaning of this book, called a revelation, there have been ages of war +and centuries of sword and flame. If written by an infinite God, He +must have known that these results must follow; and thus knowing, He +must be responsible for all. + +Paine thought the barbarities of the old testament inconsistent with +what he deemed the real character of God. He believed that murder, +massacre and indiscriminate slaughter had never been commanded by the +Deity. He regarded much of the bible as childish, unimportant and +foolish. The scientific world entertains the same spirit in which he +had attacked the pretensions of kings. He used the same weapons. All +the pomp in the world could not make him cower. His reason knew no +"Holy of Holies," except the abode of Truth. + +Nothing can be clearer than that Moses received from the Egyptians the +principal parts of his narrative, making such changes and additions as +were necessary to satisfy the peculiar superstitions of his own people. + +According to the theologians, God, the Father of us all, wrote a letter +to His children. The children have always differed somewhat as to the +meaning of this letter. In consequence of these honest difficulties, +these brothers began to cut out each other's hearts. In every land, +where this letter from God has been read, the children to whom and for +whom it was written have been filled with hatred and malice. They have +imprisoned and murdered each other, and the wives and children of each +other. In the name of God every possible crime has been committed, +every conceivable outrage has been perpetrated. Brave men, tender and +loving women, beautiful girls and prattling babes have been +exterminated in the name of Jesus Christ. + +The church has burned honesty and rewarded hypocrisy. And all this, +because it was commanded by a book--a book that men had been taught +implicitly to believe, long before they knew one word that was in it. +They had been taught that to doubt the truth of this book--to examine +it, even--was a crime of such enormity that it could not be forgiven, +either in this world or in the next. + +All that is necessary, as it seems to me, to convince any reasonable +person that the bible is simply and purely of human invention--of +barbarian invention--is to read it. Read it as you would any other +book; think of it as you would any other; get the bandage of reverence +from your eyes; drive from your heart the phantom of fear; push from +the throne of you brain the cowled form of superstition--then read the +holy bible, and you will be amazed that you ever, for one moment, +supposed a being of infinite wisdom, goodness and purity, to be the +author of such ignorance and such atrocity. + +Whether the bible is false or true, is of no consequence in comparison +with the mental freedom of the race. Salvation through slavery is +worthless. Salvation from slavery is inestimable. As long as man +believes the bible to be infallible, that book is his master. The +civilization of this century is not the child of faith, but of +unbelief--the result of free thought. + +What man who ever thinks, can believe that blood can appease God? And +yet our entire system of religion is based on that belief. The Jews +pacified Jehovah with the blood of animals, and according to the +christian system, the blood of Jesus softened the heart of God a +little, and rendered possible the salvation of a fortunate few. + +It is hard to conceive how any sane man can read the bible and still +believe in the doctrine of inspiration. + +The bible was originally written in the Hebrew language, and the Hebrew +language at that time had no vowels in writing. It was written entirely +with consonants, and without being divided into chapters and verses, +and there was no system of punctuation whatever. After you go home +to-night write an English sentence or two with only consonants close +together, and you will find that it will take twice as much inspiration +to read it as it did to write it. + +The real bible is not the result of inspired men, nor prophets, nor +evangelists, nor christs. The real bible has not been written, but is +being written. Every man who finds a fact adds a word to this great +book. + +The bad passages in the bible are not inspired. No god ever ordered a +soldier to sheathe his sword in the breast of a mother. No god ever +ordered a warrior to butcher a smiling, prattling babe. No god ever +upheld tyranny. No god ever said, be subject to the powers that be. No +god endeavored to make man a slave and woman a beast of burden. There +are thousands of good passages in the bible. Many of them are true. +There are in it wise laws, good customs, some lofty and splendid +things. And I do not care whether they are inspired or not, so they are +true. But what I do insist upon is that the bad is not inspired. + +There is no hope for you. It is just as bad to deny hell as it is to +deny heaven. Prof. Swing says the bible is a poem. Dr. Ryder says it is +a picture. The Garden of Eden is pictorial; a pictorial snake and a +pictorial woman, I suppose, and a pictorial man, and may be it was a +pictorial sin. And only a pictorial atonement! + +Man must learn to rely on himself. Reading bibles will not protect him +from the blasts of winter, but houses, fire and clothing will. To +prevent famine one plow is worth a million sermons, and even patent +medicines will cure more diseases than all the prayers uttered since +the beginning of the world. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Voltaire + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: The infidels of one age have often been the +aureoled saints of the next. + +The destroyers of the old are the creators of the new. As time sweeps +on the old passes away and the new in its turn becomes of old. + +There is in the intellectual world, as in the physical, decay and +growth, and ever by the grave of buried age stand youth and joy. + +The history of intellectual progress is written in the lives of +infidels. + +Political rights have been preserved by traitors; the liberty of mind +by heretics. + +To attack the king was treason; to dispute the priest was blasphemy. + +For many years the sword and cross were allies. Together they attacked +the rights of man. They defended each other. + +The throne and altar were twins--two vultures from the same egg. + +James I said: "No bishop; no king." He might have added: No cross, +no crown. The king owned the bodies of men; the priest, the souls. One +lived on taxes collected by force, the other on alms collected by +fear--both robbers, both beggars. + +These robbers and these beggars controlled two worlds. The king made +laws, the priest made creeds. Both obtained their authority from God, +both were the agents of the infinite. With bowed backs the people +carried the burdens of one, and with wonder's open mouth received the +dogmas of the other. If the people aspired to be free, they were +crushed by the king, and every priest was a Herod, who slaughtered the +children of the brain. + +The king ruled by force, the priest by fear, and both by both. The king +said to the people: "God made you peasants, and He made me king; He +made you to labor, and me to enjoy; He made rags and hovels for you, +robes and palaces for me. He made you to obey and me to command. Such +is the justice of God," And the priest said: "God made you ignorant +and vile; He made me holy and wise; you are the sheep, I am the +shepherd; your fleeces belong to me. If you do not obey me here, God +will punish you now and torment you forever in another world. Such is +the mercy of God." + +"You must not reason. Reason is a rebel. You must not +contradict--contradiction is born of egotism; you must believe. He that +has ears to hear let him hear. Heaven is a question of ears." + +Fortunately for us, there have been traitors and there have been +heretics, blasphemers, thinkers, investigators, lovers of liberty, men +of genius, who have given their lives to better the condition of their +fellow-men. + +It may be well enough here to ask the question: "What is greatness?" +A great man adds to the sum of knowledge, extends the horizon of +thought, releases souls from the Bastille of fear, crosses unknown and +mysterious seas, gives new islands and new continents to the domain of +thought, new constellations to the firmament of mind. A great man does +not seek applause or place; he seeks for truth; he seeks the road to +happiness, and what he ascertains he gives to others. A great man +throws pearls before swine, and the swine are sometimes changed to men. +If the great had always kept their pearls, vast multitudes would be +barbarians now. + +A great man is a torch in the darkness, a beacon in superstition's +night, an inspiration and a prophecy. Greatness is not the gift of +majorities; it cannot be thrust upon any man; men cannot give it to +another; they can give place and power, but not greatness. The place +does not make the man, nor the sceptre the king. Greatness is from +within. + +The great men are the heroes who have freed the bodies of men; they are +the philosophers and thinkers who have given liberty to the soul; they +are the poets who have transfigured the common and filled the lives of +many millions with love and song. They are the artists who have +covered the bare walls of weary life with the triumphs of genius. They +are the heroes who have slain the monsters of ignorance and fear, who +have outgazed the Gorgon and driven the cruel gods from their thrones. + +They are the inventors, the discoverers, the great mechanics, the kings +of the useful who have civilized this world. + +At the head of this heroic army, foremost of all, stands Voltaire, +whose memory we are honoring tonight. Voltaire! a name that excites +the admiration of men, the malignity of priests. Pronounce that name in +the presence of a clergyman, and you will find that you have made a +declaration of war. Pronounce that name, and from the face of the +priest the mask of meekness will fall, and from the mouth of +forgiveness will pour a Niagara of vituperation and calumny. And yet +Voltaire was the greatest man of his century, and did more for the +human race than ally other of the sons of men. + +On Sunday, the 21st of November, 1694, a babe was born; a babe +exceedingly frail, whose breath hesitated about remaining. This babe +became the greatest man of the eighteenth century. + +When Voltaire came to this "great stage of fools," his country had been +christianized--not civilized--for about fourteen hundred years. For a +thousand years the religion of peace and good will had been supreme. +The laws had been given by christian kings, sanctioned by "wise and +holy men." + +Under the benign reign of universal love, every court had its chamber +of torture, and every priest relied on the thumbscrew and rack. Such +had been the success of the blessed gospel that every science was an +outcast. To speak your honest thoughts, to teach your fellow men, to +investigate for yourself, to seek the truth, these were crimes, and the +"Holy Mother Church" pursued the criminals with sword and flame. + +The believers in a God of love--an infinite father--punished hundreds +of offenses with torture and death. Suspected persons were tortured to +make them confess. Convicted persons were tortured to make them give +the names of their accomplices. Under the leadership of the church +cruelty had become the only reforming power. In this blessed year 1694 +all authors were at the mercy of king and priest. The most of them +were cast into prisons, impoverished by fines and costs, exiled or +executed. The little time that hangmen could snatch from professional +duties was occupied in burning books. The courts of justice were traps +in which the innocent were caught. The judges were almost as malicious +and cruel as though they had been bishops or saints. There was no trial +by jury, and the rules of evidence allowed the conviction of the +supposed criminal by the proof of suspicion or hearsay. The witnesses, +being liable to torture, generally told what the judges wished to hear. + +When Voltaire was born the church ruled and owned France. It was a +period of almost universal corruption. The priests were mostly +libertines, the judges cruel and venal. The royal palace was a house +of prostitution. The nobles were heartless, proud, arrogant and cruel +to the last degree. The common people were treated as beasts. It took +the church a thousand years to bring about this happy condition of +things. + +The seeds of the revolution unconsciously were being scattered by every +noble and by every priest. They were germinating slowly in the hearts +of the wretched; they were being watered by the tears of agony; blows +began to bear interest. There was a faint longing for blood. Workmen, +blackened by the sun, bowed by labor, deformed by want; looked at the +white throats of scornful ladies and thought about cutting them. In +those days the witnesses were cross-examined with instruments of +torture; the church was the arsenal of superstition; miracles, relics, +angels, and devils were as common as lies. + +Voltaire was of the people. In the language of that day, he had no +ancestors. His real name was Francois Marie Arouet. His mother was +Marguerite d'Aumard. This mother died when he was seven years of age. +He had an elder brother, Armand, who was a devotee, very religious and +exceedingly disagreeable. This brother used to present offerings to +the church, hoping to make amends for the unbelief of his brother. So +far as we know none of his ancestors were literary people. The Arouets +had never written a line. The Abbe le Chaulieu was his godfather, and, +although an abbe, was a deist who cared nothing about his religion +except in connection with his salary. Voltaire's father wanted to make +a lawyer of him, but he had no taste for law. At the age of 10 he +entered the college of Louis le Grand. This was a Jesuit school, and +here he remained for seven years, leaving at 17, and never attending +any other school. According to Voltaire he learned nothing at this +school but a little Greek, a good deal of Latin, and a vast amount of +nonsense. + +In this college of Louis le Grand they did not teach geography, +history, mathematics, or any science. This was a Catholic institution, +controlled by the Jesuits. In that day the religion was defended, was +protected, or supported by the state. Behind the entire creed were the +bayonet, the ax, the wheel, the fagot, and the torture chamber. While +Voltaire was attending the college of Louis le Grand the soldiers of +the king were hunting Protestants in the mountains of Cevennes for +magistrates to hang on gibbets, to put to torture, to break on the +wheel or to burn at the stake. + +There is but one use for law, but one excuse for government--the +preservation of liberty--to give to each man his own, to secure to the +farmer what he produces from the soil, the mechanic what he invents and +makes, to the artist what he creates, to the thinker the right to +express his thoughts. Liberty is the breath of progress. In France +the people were the sport of a king's caprice. Everywhere was the +shadow of the Bastille. It fell upon the sunniest field, upon the +happiest home. With the king walked the headsman; back of the throne +was the chamber of torture. The church appealed to the rack, and faith +relied on the fagot. Science was an outcast, and philosophy, +so-called, was the pander of superstition. Nobles and priests were +sacred. Peasants were vermin. Idleness sat at the banquet and industry +gathered the crumbs and crusts. + +At 17 Voltaire determined to devote his life to literature. The father +said, speaking of his two sons, Armand and Francois: "I have a pair of +fools for sons, one in verse and the other in prose." In 1713 +Voltaire, in a small way, became a diplomat. He went to The Hague +attached to the French minister, and there he fell in love. The girl's +mother objected. Voltaire sent his clothes to the young lady that she +might visit him. Everything was discovered and he was dismissed. To +this girl he wrote a letter, and in it you will find the keynote of +Voltaire: "Do not expose yourself to the fury of your mother. You +know what she is capable of. You have experienced it too well. +Dissemble; it is your only chance. Tell her that you have forgotten me, +that you hate me; then after telling her, love me all the more." On +account of this episode Voltaire was formally disinherited by his +father. The father procured an order of arrest and gave his son the +choice of going to prison or beyond the seas. He finally consented to +become a lawyer, and says: "I have already been a week at work in the +office of a solicitor learning the trade of a pettifogger." About this +time he competed for a prize, writing a poem on the king's generosity +in building the new choir in the cathedral Notre Dame. He did not win +it. After being with the solicitor a little while, he hated the law, +he began to write poetry and the outlines of tragedy. Great questions +were then agitating the public mind, questions that throw a flood of +light upon that epoch. + +Louis XIV having died, the regent took possession; and then the prisons +were opened. The regent called for a list of all persons then in the +prisons sent there at the will of the king. He found that, as to many +prisoners, nobody knew any cause why they had been in prison. They had +been forgotten. Many of the prisoners did not know themselves, and +could not guess why they had been arrested. One Italian had been in +the Bastille thirty-three years without ever knowing why. On his +arrival to Paris thirty-three years before he was arrested and sent to +prison. He had grown old. He had survived his family and friends. +When the rest were liberated he asked to remain where he was, and lived +there the rest of his life. + +The old prisoners were pardoned; but in a little while their places +were taken by new ones. At this time Voltaire was not interested in +the great world--knew very little of religion or of government. He was +busy writing poetry, busy thinking of comedies and tragedies. He was +full of life. All his fancies were winged, like moths. He was charged +with having written some cutting epigrams. He was exiled to Tulle, +three hundred miles away. From this place he wrote in the true vein: +"I am at a chateau, a place that would be the most agreeable in the +world if I had not been exiled to it, and where there is nothing +wanting for my perfect happiness except the liberty of leaving. It +would be delicious to remain if I only were allowed to go." At last +the exile was allowed to return. Again he was arrested; this time sent +to the Bastille, where he remained for nearly a year. While in prison +he changed his name from Francois Marie Arouet to Voltaire, and by that +name he has since been known. Voltaire began to think, to doubt, to +inquire. He studied the history of the church of the creed. He found +that the religion of his time rested on the usurpation of the +scriptures--the infallibility of the church--the dreams of insane +hermits--the absurdities of the fathers--the mistakes and falsehoods of +saints--the hysteria of nuns--the cunning of priests and the stupidity +of the people. He found that the Emperor Constantine, who lifted +christianity into power, murdered his wife Fansta and his eldest son +Crispus the same year that he convened the council of Nice to decide +whether Christ was a man or the son of God. The council decided, in +the year 325, that Christ was consubstantial with the Father. He found +that the church was indebted to a husband who assassinated his wife--a +father who murdered his son--for settling the vexed question of the +divinity of the Savior. He found that Theodosius called a council at +Constantinople in 381 by which it was decided that the Holy Ghost +proceeded from the Father--that Theodosius, the younger, assembled a +council at Ephesus in 431 that declared the Virgin Mary to be the +mother of God--that the Emperor Martian called another council at +Chalcedon in 451 that decided that Christ had two wills--that Pognatius +called another in 680 that declared that Christ had two natures to go +with his two wills--and that in 1274, at the council of Lyons, the +important fact was found that the Holy Ghost "proceeded" not only from +the Father, but also from the Son at the same time. + +So Voltaire has been called a mocker! What did he mock? He mocked +kings that were unjust; kings who cared nothing for the sufferings of +their subjects. He mocked the titled fools of his day. He mocked the +corruption of courts; the meanness, the tyranny, and the brutality of +judges. He mocked the absurd and cruel laws, the barbarous customs. +He mocked popes and cardinals, bishops and priests, and all the +hypocrites on the earth. He mocked historians who filled their books +with lies, and philosophers who defended superstition. He mocked the +haters of liberty, the persecutors of their fellow-men. He mocked the +arrogance, the cruelty, the impudence and the unspeakable baseness of +his time. + +He has been blamed because he used the weapon of ridicule. Hypocrisy +has always hated laughter, and always will. Absurdity detests humor +and stupidity despises wit. Voltaire was the master of ridicule. He +ridiculed the absurd, the impossible. He ridiculed the mythologies and +the miracles, the stupid lives and lies of the saints. He found +pretense and mendacity crowned by credulity. He found the ignorant +many controlled by the cunning and cruel few. He found the historian, +saturated with superstition, filling his volumes with the details of +the impossible, and he found the scientists satisfied with "they say." +Voltaire had the instinct of the probable. He knew the law of average; +the sea level; he had the idea of proportion; and so he ridiculed the +mental monstrosities and deformities--the non sequiturs--of his day. +Aristotle said women had more teeth than men. This was repeated again +and again by the Catholic scientists of the eighteenth century. +Voltaire counted the teeth. The rest were satisfied with "they say." + +We may, however, get an idea of the condition of France from the fact +that Voltaire regarded England as the land of liberty. While he was in +England he saw the body of Sir Isaac Newton deposited in Westminster +Abbey. He read the works of this great man and afterward gave to +France the philosophy of the great Englishman. Voltaire was the +apostle of common sense. He knew that there could have been no +primitive or first language from which all other languages had been +formed. He knew that every language had been influenced by the +surroundings of the people. He knew that the language of snow and ice +was not the language of palm and flower. He knew also that there had +been no miracle in language. He knew it was impossible that the story +of the Tower of Babel should be true. That everything in the whole +world had been natural. He was the enemy of alchemy, not only in +language, but in science. One passage from him is enough to show his +philosophy in this regard. He says: "To transmute iron into gold two +things are necessary. First, the annihilation of the iron; second, the +creation of gold." Voltaire was a man of humor, of good nature, of +cheerfulness. He despised with all his heart the philosophy of Calvin, +the creed of the somber, of the severe, of the unnatural. He pitied +those who needed the aid of religion to be honest, to be cheerful. He +had the courage to enjoy the present and the philosophy to bear what +the future might bring. And yet for more than a hundred and fifty +years the Christian world has fought this man and has maligned his +memory. In every christian pulpit his name has been pronounced with +scorn, and every pulpit has been an arsenal of slander. He is one man +of whom no orthodox minister has ever told the truth. He has been +denounced equally by Catholics and Protestants. + +Priests and ministers, bishops and exhorters, presiding elders and +popes have filled the world with slanders, with calm calumnies about +Voltaire. I am amazed that ministers will not or cannot tell the truth +about an enemy of the church. As a matter of fact, for more than 1,000 +years almost every pulpit has been a mint in which slanders were coined. + +For many years this restless man filled Europe with the product of his +brain. Essays, epigrams, epics, comedies, tragedies, histories, poems, +novels, representing every phase and every faculty of the human mind. +At the same time engrossed in business, full of speculation, making +money like a millionaire, busy with the gossip of courts, and even with +the scandals of priests. At the same time alive to all the discoveries +of science and the theories of philosophers, and in this babel never +forgetting for a moment to assail the monster of superstition. Sleeping +and waking he hated the church. With the eyes of Argus he watched, and +with the arms of Briarieius he struck. For sixty years he waged +continuous and unrelenting war, sometimes in the open field, sometimes +striking from the hedges of opportunity, taking care during all this +time to remain independent of all men. He was in the highest sense +successful. He lived like a prince, became one of the powers of +Europe, and in him, for the first time, literature was crowned. +Voltaire, in spite of his surroundings, in spite of almost universal +tyranny and oppression, was a believer in God and in what he was +pleased to call the religion of nature. He attacked the creed of his +time because it was dishonorable to his God. He thought of the Deity +as a father, as the fountain of justice, intelligence and mercy, and +the creed of the Catholic church made him a monster of cruelty and +stupidity. He attacked the bible with all the weapons at his command. +He assailed its geology, its astronomy, its idea of justice, its laws +and customs, its absurd and useless miracles, its foolish wonders, its +ignorance on all subjects, its insane prophecies, its cruel threats, +and its extravagant promises. At the same time he praised the God of +nature, the God who gives us rain and light, and food and flowers, and +health and happiness--he who fills the world with youth and beauty. + +In 1755 came the earthquake at Lisbon. This frightful disaster became +an immense interrogation. The optimist was compelled to ask, "What was +my God doing? Why did the Universal Father crush to shapelessness +thousands of his poor children, even at the moment when they were upon +their knees returning thanks to Him?" What could be done with this +horror? If earthquake there must be, why did it not occur in some +uninhabited desert on some wide waste of sea? This frightful fact +changed the theology of Voltaire. He became convinced that this is not +the best possible of all worlds. He became convinced that evil is evil +here, now and forever. + +Who can establish the existence of an infinite being? It is beyond the +conception--the reason--the imagination of man--probably or +possibly--where the zenith and nadir meet this God can be found. + +Voltaire, attacked on every side, fought with every weapon that wit, +logic, reason, scorn, contempt, laughter, pathos and indignation could +sharpen, form, devise or use. He often apologized, and the apology was +an insult. He often recanted, and the recantation was a thousand times +worse than the thing recanted. He took it back by giving more. In the +name of eulogy he flayed his victim. In his praise there was poison. +He often advanced by retreating, and asserted by retraction. He did +not intend to give priests the satisfaction of seeing him burn or +suffer. Upon this very point of recanting, he wrote: "They say I must +retract. Very willingly. I will declare the Pascal is always right. +That if St. Luke and St. Mark contradict one another it is only another +proof of the truth of religion to those who know how to understand such +things; and that another lovely proof of religion is that it is +unintelligible. I will even avow that all priests are gentle and +disinterested; that Jesuits are honest people; that monks are neither +proud nor given to intrigue, and that their odor is agreeable; that the +Holy Inquisition is the triumph of humanity and tolerance. In a word, +I will say all that may be desired of me, provided they leave me in +repose, and will not prosecute a man who has done harm to none." + +He gave the best years of his wondrous life to succor the oppressed, to +shield the defenseless, to reverse infamous decrees, to rescue the +innocent, to reform the laws of France, to do away with torture, to +soften the hearts of priests, to enlighten judges, to instruct kings, +to civilize the people, and to banish from the heart of man the love +and lust of war. Voltaire was not a saint. He was educated by the +Jesuits. He was never troubled about the salvation of his soul. All +the theological disputes excited his laughter, the creeds his pity, and +the conduct of bigots his contempt. He was much better than a saint. +Most of the Christians in his day kept their religion not for everyday +use but for disaster, as ships carry lifeboats to be used only in the +stress of storm. + +Voltaire believed in the religion of humanity--of good and generous +deeds. For many centuries the church had painted virtue so ugly, sour +and cold that vice was regarded as beautiful. Voltaire taught the +beauty of the useful, the hatefulness and hideousness of superstition. +He was not the greatest of poets, or of dramatists, but he was the +greatest man of his time, the greatest friend of freedom, and the +deadliest foe of superstition. He wrote the best French plays--but +they were not wonderful. He wrote verses polished and perfect in their +way. He filled the air with painted moths--but not with Shakespearean +eagles. + +You may think that I have said too much; that I have placed this man +too high. Let me tell you what Goethe, the great German, said of this +man: "If you wish depth, genius, imagination, taste, reason, +sensibility, philosophy, elevation, originality, nature, intellect, +fancy, rectitude, facility, flexibility, precision, art, abundance, +variety, fertility, warmth, magic, charm, grace, force, an eagle sweep +of vision, vast understanding, instruction rich, tone excellent, +urbanity, suavity, delicacy, correctness, purity, cleanness, eloquence, +harmony, brilliancy, rapidity, gayety, pathos, sublimity, and +universality perfection, indeed, behold Voltaire." + +Even Carlyle, the old Scotch terrier, with the growl of a grizzly bear, +who attacked shams, as I have sometime thought, because he hated +rivals, was forced to admit that Voltaire gave the death stab to modern +superstition. It was the hand of Voltaire that sowed the seeds of +liberty in the heart and brain of Franklin, of Jefferson, and of Thomas +Paine. + +Toulouse was a favored town. It was rich in relics. The people were +as ignorant as wooden images, but they had in their possession the +dried bodies of seven apostles--the bones of many of the infants slain +by Herod--part of a dress of the Virgin Mary, and lots of skulls and +skeletons of the infallible idiots known as saints. + +In this city the people celebrated every year with great joy two holy +events: The expulsion of the Huguenots and the blessed massacre of St. +Bartholomew. The citizens of Toulouse had been educated and civilized +by the church. A few Protestants, mild because in the minority, lived +among these jackals and tigers. One of these Protestants was Jean +Calas--a small dealer in dry goods. For forty years he had been in +this business, and his character was without a stain. He was honest, +kind and agreeable. He had a wife and six children, four sons and two +daughters. One of the sons became a Catholic. The eldest son, Marc +Antoine, disliked his father's business and studied law. He could not +be allowed to practice unless he became a Catholic. He tried to get +his license by concealing that he was a Protestant. He was +discovered--grew morose. Finally he became discouraged and committed +suicide by hanging himself one evening in his father's store. The +bigots of Toulouse started the story that his parents had killed him to +prevent his becoming a Catholic. On this frightful charge the father, +mother, one son, a servant, and one guest at their house were arrested. +The dead son was considered a martyr, the church taking possession of +the body. This happened in 1761. There was what was called a trial. +There was no evidence, not the slightest, except hearsay. All the +facts were in favor of the accused. The united strength of the +defendants could not have done the deed. + +Jean Calas was doomed to torture and to death upon the wheel. This was +on the 9th of March, 1762, and the sentence was to be carried out the +next day. On the morning of the 10th the father was taken to the +torture room. The executioner and his assistants were sworn on the +cross to administer the torture according to the judgment of the court. +They bound him by the wrists to an iron ring in the stone wall four +feet from the ground and his feet to another ring in the floor. Then +they shortened the ropes and chains until every joint in his arms and +legs were dislocated. Then he was questioned. He declared that he was +innocent. Then the ropes were again shortened until life fluttered in +the torn body; but he remained firm. This was called the question +ordinaire. Again the magistrate exhorted the victim to confess, and +again he refused, saying that there was nothing to confess. Then came +the question extraordinaire. Into the mouth of the victim was placed a +horn holding three pints of water. In this way thirty pints of water +were forced into the body of the sufferer. The pain was beyond +description, and yet Jean Calas remained firm. He was then carried to +a scaffold in a tumbril. He was bound to a wooden cross that lay on +the scaffold. The executioner then took a bar of iron, broke each leg +and arm in two places, striking eleven blows in all. He was then left +to die if he could. He lived for two hours, declaring his innocence to +the last. He was slow to die and so the executioner strangled him. +Then his poor lacerated, bleeding and broken body was chained to a +stake and burned. All this was a spectacle--a festival for the savages +of Toulouse. What would they have done if their hearts had not been +softened by the glad tidings of great joy, peace on earth and good will +to men? + +But this was not all. The property of the family was confiscated; the +son was released on condition that he become a Catholic; the servant if +she would enter a convent. The two daughters were consigned to a +convent and the heart-broken widow was allowed to wander where she +would. + +Voltaire heard of this case. In a moment his soul was on fire. He took +one of the sons under his roof. He wrote a history of the case. He +corresponded with kings and queens, with chancellors and lawyers. If +money was needed he advanced it. For years he filled Europe with the +echoes of the groans of Jean Calas. He succeeded. The horrible +judgment was annulled--the poor victim declared innocent and thousands +of dollars raised to support the mother and family. This was the work +of Voltaire. + +Sirven, a Protestant, lived in Languedoc with his wife and three +daughters. The housekeeper of the bishop wanted to make one of the +daughters a Catholic. The law allowed the bishop to take the child of +Protestants from its parents for the sake of its soul. The little girl +was so taken and placed in a convent. She ran away and came back to +her parents. Her poor little body was covered with the marks of the +convent whip. "Suffer little children to come unto me." The child was +out of her mind; suddenly she disappeared; and three days after her +little body was found in a well, three miles from home. The cry was +raised that her folks had murdered her to keep her from becoming a +Catholic. This happened only a little way from the christian city of +Toulouse while Jean Calas was in prison. The Sirvens knew that a trial +would end in conviction. They fled. In their absence they were +convicted, their property confiscated. The parents sentenced to die by +the hangman, the daughters to be under the gallows during the execution +of their mother and then to be exiled. The family fled in the midst of +winter; the married daughter gave birth to a child in the snows of the +Alps; the mother died, and at last the father, reaching Switzerland, +found himself without the means of support. They went to Voltaire. He +espoused their cause. He took care of them, gave them the means to +live, and labored to annul the sentence that had been pronounced +against them for nine long and weary years. He appealed to kings for +money, to Catherine II of Russia, and to hundreds of others. He was +successful. He said of this case:--The Sirvens were tried and +condemned in two hours in January, 1762, and now in January, 1772, +after ten years of effort, they have been restored to their rights." + +This was the work of Voltaire. Why should the worshipers of God hate +the lovers of men? + +Espenasse was a Protestant, of good estate. In 1740 he received into +his house a Protestant clergyman, to whom he gave supper and lodging. +In a country where priests repeated the parable of the "Good Samaritan" +this was a crime. For this crime Espenasse was tried, convicted and +sentenced to the galleys for life. When he had been imprisoned for +twenty-three years his case came to the knowledge of Voltaire, and he +was, through the efforts of Voltaire, released and restored to his +family. + +This was the work of Voltaire. There is not time to tell of the case +of Gen. Lally, of the English Gen. Byng, of the niece of Corneille, of +the Jesuit Adam, of the writers, dramatists, actors, widows and orphans +for whose benefit he gave his influence, his money and his time. + +But I will tell another case: In 1765 at the town of Abbeville an old +wooden cross on a bridge had been mutilated--whittled with a knife--a +terrible crime. Sticks, when crossing each other, were far more sacred +than flesh and blood. Two young men were suspected--the Chevalier de +la Barre and d'Ettalonde. D'Ettallonde fled to Prussia and enlisted as +a common soldier. La Barre remained and stood his trial. He was +convicted without the slightest evidence, and he and d'Ettallonde were +both sentenced: First, to endure the torture, ordinary and +extraordinary; second, to have their tongues torn out by the roots with +pincers of iron; third, to have their right hands cut off at the door +of the church; and fourth, to be bound to stakes by chains of iron and +burned to death by a slow fire. "Forgive us our trespasses as we +forgive those who trespass against us." Remembering this, the judges +mitigated the sentence by providing that their heads should be cut off +before their bodies were given to the flames. The case was appealed to +Paris; heard by a court composed of twenty-five judges learned in law, +and the judgment was confirmed. The sentence was carried out on the +1st day of July, 1766. + +Voltaire had fought with every weapon that genius could devise or use. +He was the greatest of all caricaturists, and he used this wonderful +gift without mercy. For pure crystallized wit he had no equal. The +art of flattery was carried by him to the height of an exact science. +He knew and practiced every subterfuge. He fought the army of +hypocrisy and pretense, the army of faith and falsehood. Voltaire was +annoyed by the meaner and baser spirits of his time, by the cringers +and crawlers, by the fawners and pretenders, by those who wished to +gain the favors of priests, the patronage of nobles. Sometimes he +allowed himself to be annoyed by these scorpions; sometimes he attacked +them. And, but for these attacks, long ago they would have been +forgotten. In the amber of his genius Voltaire preserved these insects, +these tarantulas, these scorpions. + +It is fashionable to say that he was not profound. This is because he +was not stupid. In the presence of absurdity he laughed, and was +called irreverent. He thought God would not damn even a priest +forever. This was regarded as blasphemy. He endeavored to prevent +Christians from murdering each other, and did what he could to civilize +the disciples of Christ. Had he founded a sect, obtained control of +some country, and burned a few heretics at slow fires, he would have +won the admiration, respect and love of the christian world. Had he +only pretended to believe all the fables of antiquity, and had he +mumbled Latin prayers, counted beads, crossed himself, devoured now and +then the flesh of God, and carried fagots to the feet of Philosophy in +the name of Christ, he might have been in heaven this moment, enjoying +a sight of the damned. + +If he had only adopted the creed of his time--if he had asserted that a +God of infinite power and mercy had created millions and billions of +human beings to suffer eternal pain, and all for the sake of his +glorious justice--that he had given his power of attorney to a cunning +and cruel Italian pope, authorizing him to save the soul of his +mistress and send honest wives to hell--if he had given to the nostrils +of this God the odor of burning flesh--the incense of the fagot--if he +had filled his ears with the shrieks of the tortured--the music of the +rack, he would now be known as St. Voltaire. + +Instead of doing these things he willfully closed his eyes to the light +of the gospel, examined the bible for himself, advocated intellectual +liberty, struck from the brain the fetters of an arrogant faith, +assisted the weak, cried out against the torture of man, appealed to +reason, endeavored to establish universal toleration, succored the +indigent, and defended the oppressed. He demonstrated that the origin +of all religions is the same, the same mysteries--the same +miracles--the same impostures--the same temples and ceremonies--the +same kind of founders, apostles and dupes--the same promises and +threats--the same pretense of goodness and forgiveness and the practice +of the same persecution and murder. He proved that religion made +enemies--philosophy, friends--and that above the rites of gods were the +rights of man. These were his crimes. Such a man God would not suffer +to die in peace. If allowed to meet death with a smile, others +might follow his example, until none would be left to light the holy +fires of the auto da fe. It would not do for so great, so successful +an enemy of the church to die without leaving some shriek of fear, some +shudder of remorse, some ghastly prayer of chattered horror, uttered by +lips covered with blood and foam. For many centuries the theologians +have taught that an unbeliever--an infidel--one who spoke or wrote +against their creed, could not meet death with composure; that in his +last moments God would fill his conscience with the serpents of +remorse. For a thousand years the clergy have manufactured the facts +to fit this theory--this infamous conception of the duty of man and the +justice of God. The theologians have insisted that crimes against men +were, and are, as nothing compared with crimes against God. That, +while kings and priests did nothing worse than to make their fellows +wretched, that so long as they only butchered and burnt the innocent +and helpless, God would maintain the strictest neutrality; but when +some honest man, some great and tender soul, expressed a doubt as to +the truth of the scriptures, or prayed to the wrong god, or to the +right one by the wrong name, then the real God leaped like a wounded +tiger upon his victim, and from his quivering flesh tore the wretched +soul. + +There is no recorded instance where the uplifted hand of murder has +been paralyzed--no truthful account in all the literature of the world +of the innocent child being shielded by God. Thousands of crimes are +being committed ever day--men are at this moment lying in wait for +their human prey--wives are whipped and crushed, driven to insanity and +death--little children begging for mercy, lifting imploring, +tear-filled eyes to the brutal faces of fathers and mothers--sweet +girls are deceived, lured and outraged, but God has no time to prevent +these things--no time to defend the good and protect the pure. He is +too busy numbering hairs and watching sparrows. He listens for +blasphemy; looks for persons who laugh at priests; examines baptismal +registers; watches professors in college who begin to doubt the geology +of Moses and the astronomy of Joshua. He does not particularly object +to stealing, if you don't swear. A great many persons have fallen dead +in the act of taking God's name in vain, but millions of men, women and +children have been stolen from their homes and used as beasts of +burden, but no one engaged in this infamy has ever been touched by the +wrathful hand of God. All kinds of criminals, except infidels, meet +death with reasonable serenity. As a rule there is nothing in the +death of a pirate to cast any discredit on his profession. The +murderer upon the scaffold, with a priest on either side, smilingly +exhorts the multitude to meet him in heaven. The man who has succeeded +in making his home a hell meets death without a quiver, provided he has +never expressed any doubt as to the divinity of Christ or the eternal +"procession" of the Holy Ghost. + +Now and then a man of genius, of sense, of intellectual honesty, has +appeared. Such men have denounced the superstition of their day. They +have pitied the multitude. To see priests devour the substance of the +people--priests who made begging one of the learned professions--filled +them with loathing and contempt. These men were honest enough to tell +their thoughts, brave enough to speak the truth. Then they were +denounced, tried, tortured, killed by rack or flame. But some escaped +the fury of the fiends who loved their enemies and died naturally in +their beds. It would not do for the church to admit that they died +peacefully. That would show that religion was essential at the last +moment. Superstition gets its power from the terror of death. It would +not do to have the common people understand that a man could deny the +bible, refuse to kiss the cross; contend that humanity was greater than +Christ, and then die as sweetly as Torquemada did after pouring molten +lead into the ears of an honest man, or as calmly as Calvin after he +had burned Servetus, or as peacefully as King David after advising with +his last breath one son to assassinate another. + +The church has taken great pains to show that the last moments of all +infidels (that Christians did not succeed in burning) were infinitely +wretched and despairing. It was alleged that words could not paint the +horrors that were endured by a dying infidel. Every good Christian was +expected to, and generally did, believe these accounts. They have been +told and retold in every pulpit of the world. Protestant ministers +have repeated the lies invented by Catholic priests, and Catholics, by +a kind of theological comity, have sworn to the lies told by the +Protestants. Upon this point they have always stood together, and will +as long as the same falsehood can be used by both. Upon the death-bed +subject the clergy grew eloquent. When describing the shudderings and +shrieks of the dying unbeliever their eyes glitter with delight. It is +a festival. They are no longer men. They become hyenas. They dig open +graves. They devour the dead. It is a banquet. Unsatisfied still, +they paint the terrors of hell. They gaze at the souls of the infidels +writhing in the coils of the worm that never dies. They see them in +flames--in oceans of fire--in gulfs of pain--in abysses of despair. +They shout with joy. They applaud. + +It is an auto da fe, presided over by God. But let us come back to +Voltaire--to the dying philosopher. He was an old man of 84. He had +been surrounded with the comforts, the luxuries of life. He was a man +of great wealth, the richest writer that the world had known. Among +the literary men of the earth he stood first. He was an intellectual +monarch--one who had built his own throne and had woven the purple of +his own power. He was a man of genius. The Catholic God had allowed +him the appearance of success. His last years were filled with the +intoxication of flattery--of almost worship. He stood at the summit of +his age. The priests became anxious. They began to fear that God would +forget, in a multiplicity of business, to make a terrible example of +Voltaire. Toward the last of May, 1778, it was whispered in Paris that +Voltaire was dying. Upon the fences of expectation gathered the +unclean birds of superstition, impatiently waiting for their prey. Two +days before his death, his nephew went to seek the cure of Saint +Surplice and the Abbe Gautier, and brought them to his uncle's sick +chamber, who, being informed that they were there, said: "Ah, well, +give them my compliments and my thanks." The abbe spoke some words to +him, exhorting him to patience. The cure of Saint Surplice then came +forward, having announced himself, and asked of Voltaire, elevating his +voice, if he acknowledged the divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ. The +sick man pushed one of his hands against the cure's coif, shoving him +back, and cried, turning abruptly to the other side: "Let me die in +peace." The cure seemingly considered his person soiled and his coif +dishonored by the touch of a philosopher. He made the nurse give him a +little brushing and went out with the Abbe Gautier. He expired, says +Wagnierre, on the 30th of May, 1778, at about a quarter past 11 at +night, with the most perfect tranquility. A few moments before his +last breath he took the hand of Morand, his valet de chambee, who was +watching by him, pressed it, and said: "Adieu, my dear Morand, I am +gone." These were his last words. Like a peaceful river, with green +and shaded banks, he flowed without a murmur into the waveless sea, +where life is rest. + +From this death, so simple and serene, so kind, so philosophic and +tender; so natural and peaceful; from these words so utterly destitute +of cant or dramatic touch, all the frightful pictures, all the +despairing utterances have been drawn and made. From these materials, +and from these alone, or rather, in spite of these facts, have been +constructed by priests and clergymen and their dupes all the shameless +lies about the death of this great and wonderful man. A man, compared +with whom all of his calumniators, dead and living, were, and are, but +dust and vermin. Let us be honest. Did all the priests of Rome +increase the mental wealth of man as much as Bruno? Did all the +priests of France do as great a work for the civilization of the world +as Voltaire or Diderot? Did all the ministers of Scotland add as much +to the such of human knowledge as David Hume? Have all the clergymen, +monks, friars, ministers, priests, bishops, cardinals and popes, from +the day of Pentecost to the last election, done as much for human +liberty as Thomas Paine? What would the world be if infidels had never +been? The infidels have been the brave and thoughtful men; the flower +of all the world; the pioneers and heralds of the blessed day of +liberty and love; the generous spirits of the unworthy past; the seers +and prophets of our race; the great chivalric souls, proud victors on +the battlefields of thought, the creditors of all the years to be. + +In those days the philosophers--that is to say, the thinkers--were not +buried in holy ground. It was feared that their principles might +contaminate the ashes of the just. And they also feared that on the +morning of the resurrection they might, in a moment of confusion, slip +into heaven. Some were burned and their ashes scattered; and the +bodies of some were thrown naked to beasts, and others buried in unholy +earth. Voltaire knew the history of Adrienne Le Couvreur, a beautiful +actress, denied burial. After all, we do feel an interest in what is +to become of our bodies. There is a modesty that belongs to death. +Upon this subject Voltaire was infinitely sensitive. It was that he +might be buried that he went through the farce of confession, of +absolution, and of the last sacrament. The priests knew that he was +not in earnest, and Voltaire knew that they would not allow him to be +buried in any of the cemeteries of Paris. His death was kept a secret. +The Abbe Mignot made arrangements for the burial at +Romilli-on-the-Seine, more than 100 miles from Paris. Sunday evening, +on the last day of May, 1778, the body of Voltaire, clad in a dressing +gown, clothed to resemble an invalid, posed to simulate life, was +placed in a carriage; at its side a servant, whose business it was to +keep it in position. To this carriage were attached six horses, so +that people might think a great lord was going to his estates. Another +carriage followed in which were a grand-nephew and two cousins of +Voltaire. All night they traveled, and on the following day arrived at +the courtyard of the abbey. The necessary papers were shown, the mass +was performed in the presence of the body, and Voltaire found burial. +A few moments afterward the prior who "for charity had given a little +earth" received from his bishop a menacing letter forbidding the burial +of Voltaire. It was too late. He could not then be removed, and he +was allowed to remain in peace until 1791. + +Voltaire was dead. The foundations of State and throne had been +sapped. The people were becoming acquainted with the real kings and +with the actual priests. Unknown men born in misery and want, men +whose fathers and mothers had been pavement for the rich, were rising +towards the light and their shadowy faces were emerging from darkness. +Labor and thought became friends. That is, the gutter and the attic +fraternized. The monsters of the night and the angels of dawn--the +first thinking of revenge and the others dreaming of equality, liberty +and fraternity. For 400 years the Bastille had been the outward symbol +of oppression. Within its walls the noblest had perished. It was a +perpetual threat. It was the last and often the first argument of king +and priest. Its dungeons, damp and rayless, its massive towers, its +secret cells, its instruments of torture, denied the existence of God. +In 1789, on the 14th of July, the people, the multitude, frenzied by +suffering, stormed and captured the Bastille. The battlecry was, "Vive +le Voltaire!" + +In 1791 permission was given to place in the Pantheon the ashes of +Voltaire. He had been buried 110 miles from Paris. Buried by stealth +he was to be removed by a nation. A funeral procession of a hundred +miles; every village with its flags and arches in his honor; all the +people anxious to honor the philosopher of France--the savior of +Calas--the destroyer of superstition! On reaching Paris the great +procession moved along the Rue St. Antoine. Here it paused, and for +one night upon the ruins of the Bastille rested the body of +Voltaire--rested in triumph, in glory--rested on fallen wall and broken +arch, on crumbling stone still damp with tears, on rusting chain, and +bar and useless bolt--above the dungeons dark and deep, where light had +faded from the lives of men and hope had died in breaking hearts. The +conqueror resting upon the conquered. Throned upon the Bastille, the +fallen fortress of night, the body of Voltaire, from whose brain had +issued the dawn. + +For a moment his ashes must have felt the Promethean fire, and the old +smile must have illumined once more the face of the dead. + +While the vast multitude were trembling with love and awe, a priest was +heard to cry, "God shall be avenged!" + +The grave of Voltaire was violated. The cry of the priest, "God shall +be avenged!" had borne its fruit. Priests, skulking in the shadows, +with faces sinister as night-ghouls--in the name of the gospel, +desecrated the gave. They carried away the body of Voltaire. The tomb +was empty. God was avenged! The tomb was empty, but the world is +filled with Voltaire's fame. Man has conquered! + +What cardinal, what bishop, what priest raised his voice for the rights +of men? What ecclesiastic, what nobleman, took the side of the +oppressed--of the peasant? Who denounced the frightful criminal code +the torture of suspected persons? What priest pleaded for the liberty +of the citizen? What bishop pitied the victim of the rack? Is there +the grave of a priest in France on which a lover of liberty would now +drop a flower or a tear? Is there a tomb holding the ashes of a saint +from which emerges one ray of light? If there be another life, a day +of judgment, no God can afford to torture in another world a man who +abolished torture in his. If God be the keeper of an eternal +penitentiary, He should not imprison there those who broke the chain of +slavery here. He cannot afford to make eternal convicts of Franklin, +of Jefferson, of Paine, of Voltaire. + +Voltaire was perfectly equipped for his work. A perfect master of the +French language, knowing all its moods, tenses, and declinations, in +fact and in feeling, playing upon it as skillfully, as Paganini on his +violin, finding expression for every thought and fancy, writing on the +most serious subjects with the gayety of a harlequin, plucking jests +from the mouth of death, graceful as the waving of willows, dealing in +double meanings--that covered the asp with flowers and flattery, master +of satire and compliment, mingling them often in the same line, always +interested himself, therefore interesting others, handling thoughts, +questions, subjects, as a juggler does balls, keeping them in the air +with perfect ease, dressing old words in new meanings, charming, +grotesque, pathetic, mingling mirth with tears, wit with wisdom, and +sometimes wickedness, logic, and laughter. With a woman's instinct +knowing the sensitive nerves--just where to touch--hating arrogance of +place, the stupidity of the solemn, snatching masks from priest and +king, knowing the springs of action and ambition's ends, perfectly +familiar with the great world, the intimate of kings and their +favorites, sympathizing with the oppressed and imprisoned, with the +unfortunate and poor, hating tyranny, despising superstition, and +loving liberty with all his heart. Such was Voltaire, writing "Edipus" +at seventeen, "Irene" at eighty-three, and crowding between these two +tragedies, the accomplishment of a thousand lives. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Lecture on Myth and Miracles + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: What, after all, is the object of life? What is +the highest possible aim? The highest aim is to accomplish the only +good. Happiness is the only good of which man by any possibility can +conceive. The object of life is to increase human joy, and that means +intellectual and physical development. The question, then, is: Shall +we rely upon superstition or upon growth? Is intellectual development +the highway of progress or must we depend on the pit of credulity? Must +we rely on belief or credulity, or upon manly virtues, courageous +investigation, thought, and intellectual development? For thousands of +years men have been talking about religious freedom. I am now +contending for the freedom of religion, not religious freedom--for the +freedom which is the only real religion. Only a few years ago our poor +ancestors tried to account for what they saw. Noticing the running +river, the shining star, or the painted flower, they put a spirit in +the river, a spirit in the star, and another in the flower. Something +makes this river run, something makes this star shine, something paints +the blossom of that flower. They were all spirits. That was the first +religion of mankind--fetichism--and in everything that lived, +everything that produced an effect upon them, they said: "This is a +spirit that lives within." That is called the lowest phase of +religious thought, and yet it is quite the highest phase of religious +thought. One by one these little spirits died. One by one nonentities +took their places, and last of all we have one infinite fetich that +takes the place of all others. Now, what makes the river run? We say +the attraction of gravitation, and we know no more about that than we +do about this fetich. What makes the tree grow? The principle of +life--vital forces. These are simply phrases, simply names of +ignorance. Nobody knows what makes the river run, what makes the trees +grow, why the flowers burst and bloom--nobody knows why the stars +shine, and probably nobody ever will know. + +There are two horizons that have never been passed by man--origin and +destiny. All human knowledge is confined to the diameter of that +circle. All religions rest on supposed facts beyond the circumference +of the absolutely known. What next? The next thing that came in the +world--the next man--was the mythmaker. He gave to these little spirits +human passions; he clothed ghosts in flesh; he warmed that flesh with +blood, and in that blood he put desire--motive. And the myths were +born, and were only produced through the fact of the impressions that +nature makes upon the brain of man. They were every one a natural +production, and let me say here, tonight, that what men call +monstrosities are only natural productions. Every religion has grown +just as naturally as the grass; every one, as I said before, and it +cannot be said too often, has been naturally produced. All the +Christs, all the gods and goddesses, all the furies and fairies, all +the mingling of the beastly and human, were all produced by the +impressions of nature upon the brain of man--by the rise of the sun, +the silver dawn, the golden sunset, the birth and death of day, the +change of seasons, the lightning, the storm, the beautiful bow--all +these produced within the brain of man all myths, and they are all +natural productions. + +There have been certain myths universal among men. Gardens of Eden +have been absolutely universal--the golden age, which is absolutely the +same thing. And what was the golden age born of? Any old man in Boston +will tell you that fifty years ago all people were honest. Fifty years +ago all people were sociable--there was no stuck-up aristocracy then. +Neighbors were neighbors. Merchants gave full weight. Everything was +full length; everything was a yard wide and all wool. Now everybody +swindles everybody else, and calls it business. Go back fifty years +and you will find an old man who will tell you that there was a time +when all were honest. Go back another fifty years and you will find +another sage who will tell you the same story. Every man looks back to +his youth, to the golden age, and what is true of the individual is +true of the whole human race. It has its infancy, its manhood, and, +finally, will have an old age. The garden of Eden is not back of us. +There are more honest men, good women, and obedient children in the +world today than ever before. + +The myth of the Elysian fields--universally born of sunsets. When the +golden clouds in the west turned to amethyst, sapphire, and purple, the +poor savage thought it a vision of another land--a land without care or +grief--a world of perpetual joy. This myth was born of the setting of +the sun. A universal myth, all nations have believed in floods. +Savages found everywhere evidences of the sea having been above the +earth, and saw in the shells souvenirs of the ocean's visit. It had +left its cards on the tops of mountains. The savage knew nothing of +the slow rise and sinking of the crust of the earth. He did not dream +of it. We now know that where the mountains lift their granite +foreheads to the sun, the billows once held sway, and that where the +waves dash into white caps of joy, the mountains will stand once more. +Everywhere the land is, the ocean will be; and where the ocean is the +land will be. The Hindoos believed in the flood myth. Their hero, who +lived almost entirely on water, went to the Ganges to perform his +ablutions, and, taking up a little water in his hand, he saw a small +fish that prayed him to save it from the monster of the river, and it +would save him in turn from his enemies. He did so, and put it into +different receptacles until it grew so large that he let it loose in +the sea; then it was large enough to take care of itself. The fish +told him that there was going to be an immense flood, and told him to +gather all kinds of seed and take two of each kind of animals of use to +man, and he would come along with an ark and take them all in. He told +him to pick out seven saints. And the fish towed the ark along tied to +its horns, and took them in and carried them to the top of a mountain, +where he hitched the ark to a tree. When the waters receded, they came +out and followed them down until they reached the plain. There were +the same number--eight--in this ark as there were with Noah. + +I find that the myth of the virgin mother is universal. The virgin +mother is the earth. I find also in countries the idea of a trinity. +In Egypt I find Isis, Osiris, and Horus. This idea prevailed in +Central America among the Aztecs. We find the myth of the judgment +almost universal. I imagine men have seen so much injustice here that +they naturally expect that there must be some day of final judgment +somewhere. Nearly every theist is driven to the necessity of having +another world in which his god may correct the mistakes he has made in +this. We find on the walls of Egyptian temples pictures of the +judgment; the righteous all go on the right hand, and those unworthy on +the left. The myth of the sun god was universal. Agni was the sun god +of the Hindoos. He was called the most generous of all gods, yet he +ate his own father and mother. Baldur was another sun god; he was a +sun myth. Hercules was a sun god, and so was Samson. Jonah, too, was +a sun god, and was swallowed by a fish. So was Hercules, and a +wonderful thing is that they were swallowed in about the same place, +near Joppa. Where did the big fish go? When the sun went down under +the earth, it was thought to be followed by the fish, which was said to +swallow it, and carry it safely through the under world. The sun thus +came to be represented as the body of a woman with the tail of a fish, +and so the mermaid was born. Another strange thing is that all the sun +gods were born near Christmas. The myth of Red Riding Hood, was known +among the Aztecs. The myth of eucharist came from the story of Ceres +and Bacchus. When the cakes made by the product of the field were +eaten, it was the body of Ceres, and when the wine was drank it was the +blood of Bacchus. From this idea the eucharist was born. There is +nothing original in christianity. Holy water! Another myth. The +Hindoos imagined that the water had its source in the throne of God. +The Egyptians thought the Nile sacred. Greece was settled by Egyptian +colonies, and they carried with them the water of the Nile, and when +any one died the water was sprinkled on him. Finally Rome conquered +Greece physically, but Greece conquered Rome intellectually. This is +the myth of holy water, and with it grew up the idea of baptism, and I +presume that that is as old as water and dirt. The cross is another +universal symbol. There was once an ancient people in Italy before the +Romans, before the Etruscans. They faded from the world, and history +does not even know the name of that nation. We find where they buried +the ashes of their dead, and we find chiseled, hundreds of years before +Christ, the cross, a symbol of a hope of another life. We find the +cross in Egypt, in the cylinders from Babylon, and, more than that, we +find them in Central America. On the temples of the Aztecs we find the +cross, and on it a bleeding, dying god. Our cross was built in the +middle ages. + +When Adam was very sick he sent Seth, his son, to the garden of Eden. +He told him he would have no trouble in finding it; all he had to do +was to follow the tracks made by his mother and father when they left +it. He wanted a little balsam from the tree of life that he might not +die. Seth found there a cherub, with flaming sword, who would not let +him pass the door. He moved his wings so that he could see in, and he +saw the tree of life, with its roots running down to hell, and among +them Cain, the murderer. The angel gave Seth three seeds, and told him +to put them in his father's mouth when he was buried and to watch the +effect. The result was that these trees grew up--one pine, one cedar, +and on cypress. Solomon cut down one of these trees to put in the +temple, but it grew through the roof and he threw it into the pool of +Bethesda. When the soldiers went for a beam on which to crucify Christ +they took this tree and made a cross of it. Helen, the mother of +Constantine, went to Jerusalem to find this cross. She found the two +crosses, also, that the thieves were crucified on. They could not tell +which was which, so they called a sick woman who touched them, and when +she touched the right one she was immediately made whole. + +Such is myth and fable. The history of one religion is substantially +the history of all religions. In embryo man lives all lives. The man +of genius knows within himself the history of the human race; he knows +the history of all religions. The man of imagination, genius, having +seen a leaf and a drop of water, can construct the forests, the rivers, +and the seas. In his presence all the cataracts fall and foam, the +mists rise, and the clouds form and float. To really know one fact is +known its kindred and its neighbors. Shakespeare, looking at a coat of +mail, instantly imagined the society, the conditions that produced it, +and what it, in its turn, produced. He saw the castle, the moat, the +drawbridge, the lady in the tower, and the knightly lover spurring over +the plain. He saw the bold baron and the rude retainer, the trampled +serfs, and all the glory and the grief of feudal life. The man of +imagination has lived the life of all people, of all races. He has +been a citizen of Athens in the days of Pericles; listened to the eager +eloquence of the great orator, and has sat upon the cliff, and with the +tragic poet heard "the multitudinous laughter of the sea." He has seen +Socrates thrust the spear of question through the shield and heart of +falsehood--was present when the great man drank hemlock and met the +night of death tranquil as a star meets morning. He has followed the +peripatetic philosophers, and has been puzzled by the sophists. He has +watched Phidias, as he chiseled shapeless stone to forms of love and +awe. He has lived by the slow Nile, amid the vast and monstrous. He +knows the very thought that wrought the form and features of the +Sphinx. He has heard great Memnon's morning song, has laid him down +with the embalmed dead, and felt within their dust the expectation of +another life, mingled with cold and suffocating doubts--the children +born of long delay. He has walked the ways of mighty Rome, has seen +the great Caesar with his legions in the field, has stood with vast and +motley throngs and watched the triumphs given to victorious men, +followed by uncrowned kings, the captured hosts and all the spoils of +ruthless war. He has heard the shout that shook the Coliseum's roofless +walls when from the reeling gladiator's hand the short sword fell, +while from his bosom gushed the stream of wasted life. He has lived +the life of savage men--has trod the forest's silent depths, and in the +desperate name of life or death has matched his thought against the +instinct of the beast. He has sat beneath the bo tree's contemplative +shade, rapt in Buddha's mighty thought, and he has dreamed all dreams +that light, the alchemist, hath wrought from dust and dew and stored +within the slumbrous poppy's subtle blood. He has knelt with awe and +dread at every prayer; has felt the consolation and the shuddering +fear; has seen all the devils; has mocked and worshiped all the gods; +enjoyed all heavens, and felt the pangs of every hell. He has lived +all lives, and through his blood and brain have crept the shadow and +the chill of every death, and his soul, Mazeppa-like, has been lashed +naked to the wild horse of every fear and love and hate. The +imagination hath a stage within the brain, whereon he sets all scenes +that lie between the morn of laughter and the night of tears, and where +his players body forth the false and true, the joys and griefs, the +careless shadows, and the tragic deeps of human life. + +Through with the myth-makers, we now come to the wonder-worker. There +is this difference between the miracle and the myth--a myth is an +idealism of a fact, and a miracle is a counterfeit of a fact. There is +some difference between a myth and a miracle. There is the difference +that there is between fiction and falsehood and poetry and perjury. +Miracles are probably only in the far past or the very remote future. +The present is the property of the natural. You say to a man: "The +dead were raised 4,000 years ago." He says, "Well, that's reasonable." +You say to him, "In 4,000,000 years we shall all be raised." He says, +"That is what I believe." Say to him, "A man was raised from the dead +this morning," and he will say, "What are you giving us?" Miracles +never convince at the time they were said to have been performed. + +John the Baptist was the forerunner of Christ. He was cast into +prison. When Christ heard of it He "departed from that country." +Afterward he returned and heard that John had been beheaded, and he +again departed from that country. There is no possible relation +between the miraculous and the moral. The miracles of the middle ages +are the children of superstition. In the middle ages men told +everything but the truth, and believed everything but the facts. The +middle ages--a trinity of ignorance, mendacity and insanity. There is +one thing about humanity. You see the faults of others, but not your +own. A Catholic in India sees a Hindoo bowing before an idol and +thinks it absurd. Why does he not get him a plaster of paris virgin +and some beads and holy water? Why does the protestant shut his eyes +when he prays? The idea is a souvenir of sun worship. It is the most +natural worship in the world. Religious dogmas have become absurd. The +doctrine of eternal torment today has become absurd, low, groveling, +ignorant, barbaric, savage, devilish and no gentleman would preach it. + +Science, thou art the great magician! Thou alone performest the true +miracles. Thou alone workest the real wonders. Fire is thy servant, +lightning thy messenger. The waves obey thee, and thou knowest the +circuits of the wind. Thou art the great philanthropist. Thou hast +freed the slave and civilized the master. Thou hast taught man to +chain, not his fellow-man, but the forces of nature--forces that have +no backs to be scarred, no limbs for chains to chill and eat--forces +that never know fatigue, that shed no tears--forces that have no hearts +to break. Thou gavest man the plow, the reaper and the loom--thou hast +fed and clothed the world. Thou art the great physician. Thy touch +hath given sight. Thou hast made the lame to leap, the dumb to speak, +and in the pallid cheek thy hand hath set the rose of health. "Thou +hast given thy beloved sleep"--a sleep that wraps in happy dreams the +throbbing nerves of pain. Thou art the perpetual providence of +man--preserver of life and love. Thou art the teacher of every virtue, +and the enemy of every vice. Thou has discovered the true basis of +morals--the origin and office of conscience--and hast revealed the +nature and measure of obligation. Thou hast taught that love is +justice in its highest form, and that even self-love, guided by wisdom, +embraces with loving arms the human race. Thou hast slain the monsters +of the past. Thou hast discovered the one inspired book. Thou hast +read the records of the rocks, written by wind and wave, by frost and +flame--records that even priestcraft cannot change--and in thy wondrous +scales thou hast weighed the atoms and the stars. Thou art the founder +of the only true religion. Thou art the very Christ, the only savior +of mankind! + +Theology has always been in the way of the advance of the human race. +There is this difference between science and theology--science is +modest and merciful, while theology is arrogant and cruel. The hope of +science is the perfection of the human race. The hope of theology is +the salvation of a few and the damnation of almost everybody. As I +told you in the first place, I believe in the religion of freedom. O +liberty! thou art the god of my idolatry. Thou art the only deity that +hates the bended knee. In thy vast and unwalled temple, beneath the +roofless dome, star-gemmed and luminous with suns, thy worshipers stand +erect. They do not bow or cringe or crawl or bend their foreheads to +the earth. Thy dust hast never borne the impress of lips, upon thy +sacred altars mothers do not sacrifice their babes, nor men their +rights. Thou askest naught from man except the things that good men +hate, the whip, the chain, the dungeon key. Thou hast no kings, no +popes, no priests to stand between their fellow-men and thee. Thou +hast no monks, no nuns, who, in the name of duty, murder joy. Thou +carest not for forms nor mumbled prayers. At thy sacred shrine +hypocrisy does not bow, fear does not crouch, virtue does not tremble, +superstition's feeble tapers do not burn, but reason holds aloft her +inextinguishable torch, while on the ever-broadening brow of science +falls the ever coming morning of the ever better day. + + + + + +Ingersoll on The Chinese God + + +Messrs. Wright, Dickey, O'Conner and Murch, of the select committee on +the causes of the present depression of labor, presented the majority +special report upon Chinese immigration. + +These gentlemen are in great fear for the future of our most holy and +perfectly authenticated religion, and have, like faithful watchmen from +the walls and towers of Zion, hastened to give the alarm. They have +informed Congress that "Joss has his temple of worship in the Chinese +quarters, in San Francisco. Within the walls of a dilapidated +structure is exposed to the view of the faithful the god of the +Chinaman, and here are his altars of worship. Here he tears up his +pieces of paper; here he offers up his prayers; here he receives his +religious consolations, and here is his road to the celestial land." +That "Joss is located in a long, narrow room, in a building in a back +alley, upon a kind of altar;" that "he is a wooden image, looking as +much like an alligator as like a human being;" that the Chinese "think +there is such a place as heaven;" that "all classes of Chinamen worship +idols;" that "the temple is open every day at all hours;" that "the +Chinese have no Sunday;" that this heathen god has "huge jaws, a big +red tongue, large white teeth, a half-dozen arms, and big, fiery +eyeballs. About him are placed offerings of meat, and other +eatables--a sacrificial offering." + +No wonder that these members of the committee were shocked at such a +god, knowing as they did that the only true God was correctly described +by the inspired lunatic of Patmos in the following words: + +"And there sat in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks one like +unto the son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt +about the paps with a golden girdle. His head and his hairs were white +like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; and +his feet like unto fine brass as if they burned in a furnace; and his +voice as the sound of many waters. And he had in his right hand seven +stars; and out of his mouth went a sharp, two-edged sword; and his +countenance was as the sun shining in his strength." + +Certainly, a large mouth, filled with white teeth, is preferable to one +used as the scabbard of a sharp, two-edged sword. Why should these +gentlemen object to a god with big fiery eyeballs, when their own Deity +has eyes like a flame of fire? + +Is it not a little late in the day to object to people because they +sacrifice meat and other eatables to their god? We all know that for +thousands of years the "real" God was exceedingly fond of roasted meat; +that He loved the savor of burning flesh, and delighted in the perfume +of fresh, warm blood. + +The following account of the manner in which the "living God" desired +that His people should sacrifice tends to show the degradation and +religious blindness of the Chinese--: + +"Aaron therefore went unto the altar and slew the calf of the +sin-offering which was for himself. And the sons of Aaron brought the +blood unto him. And he dipped his fingers in the blood and put it upon +the horns of the altar, and poured out the blood at the bottom of the +altar; but the fat and the kidneys and the caul above the liver of the +sin-offering he burnt upon the altar, as the Lord commanded Moses, and +the flesh and the hide he burnt with fire without the camp. And he +slew the burnt offering. And Aaron's sons presented unto him the blood +which he sprinkled round about the altar.... And he brought the meat +offering and took a handful thereof and burnt upon the altar..... He +slew also the bullock and the ram for a sacrifice of peace offering, +which was for the people. And Aaron's sons presented unto him the +blood which he sprinkled upon the altar, round about, and the fat of +the bullock and of the ram, the rump and that which covereth the +inwards, and the kidneys, and the caul above the liver, and they put +the fat upon the breasts and he burnt the fat upon the altar. And the +breasts and the right shoulder Aaron waved for a wave-offering before +the Lord, as Moses had commanded." + +If the Chinese only did something like this, we would know that they +worshiped the "living" God. The idea that the supreme head of the +"American system of religion" can be placated with a little meat and +"ordinary eatables," is simply preposterous. He has always asked for +blood, and has always asserted that without the shedding of blood there +is no remission of sin. + +The world is also informed by these gentlemen that "the idolatry of the +Chinese produces a demoralizing effect upon our American youth by +bringing sacred things into disrespect, and making religion a theme of +disgust and contempt." + +In San Francisco there are some three hundred thousand people. Is it +possible that a few Chinese can bring "our holy religion" into disgust +and contempt? In that city there are fifty times as many churches as +joss-houses. Scores of sermons are uttered every week; religious books +and papers are plentiful as leaves in autumn, and somewhat dryer; +thousands of bibles are with in the reach of all. And there, too, is +the example of a Christian city. + +Why should we send missionaries to China if we cannot convert the +heathen when they come here? When missionaries go to a foreign land, +the poor, benighted people have to take their word for the blessings +showered upon a Christian people; but when the heathen come here, they +can see for themselves. What was simply a story becomes a demonstrated +fact. They come in contact with people who love their enemies. They +see that in a Christian land men tell the truth; that they will not +take advantage of strangers; that they are just and patient; kind and +tender; and have no prejudice on account of color, race, or religion; +that they look upon mankind as brethren; that they speak of God as a +universal Father, and are willing to work, and even to suffer, for the +good, not only of their own countrymen, but of the heathen as well. +All this the Chinese see and know, and why they still cling to the +religion of their country is to me a matter of amazement. + +We all know that the disciples of Jesus do unto others as they would +that others should do unto them, and that those of Confucius do not +unto others anything that they would not that others should do unto +them. Surely, such peoples ought to live together in perfect peace. +Rising with the subject, growing heated with a kind of holy +indignation, these Christian representatives of a Christian people most +solemnly declare that anyone who is really endowed with a correct +knowledge of our religious system which acknowledges the existence of a +living God and an accountability to Him, and a future state of reward +and punishment, who feels that he has an apology for this abominable +pagan worship, is not a fit person to be ranked as a good citizen of +the American union. It is absurd to make any apology for its +toleration. It must be abolished, and the sooner the decree goes forth +by the power of this government, the better it will be for the +interests of this land. + +I take this the earliest opportunity to inform these gentlemen +composing a majority of the committee that we have in the United States +no "religious system;" that this is a secular government. That it has +no religious creed; that it does not believe nor disbelieve in a future +state of reward and punishment; that it neither affirms nor denies the +existence of a "living God;" and that the only god, so far as this +government is concerned; is the legally expressed will of a majority of +the people. Under our flag the Chinese have the same right to worship +a wooden god that you have to worship any other. The constitution +protects equally the church of Jehovah and the house of Joss. Whatever +their relative positions may be in heaven, they stand upon a perfect +equality in the United States. This government is an infidel +government. We have a constitution with man put in and God left out; +and it is the glory of this country that we have such a constitution. + +It may be surprising to you that I have an apology for pagan worship, +yet I have. And it is the same one that I have for the writers of this +report. I account for both by the word superstition. Why should we +object to their worshiping God as they please? If the worship is +improper, the protestation should come not from a committee of +congress, but from God himself. If He is satisfied, that is sufficient. + +Our religion can only be brought into contempt by the actions of those +who profess to be governed by its teachings. This report will do more +in that direction than millions of Chinese could do by burning pieces +of paper before a wooden image. If you wish to impress the Chinese +with the value of your religion, of what you are pleased to call "the +American system," show them that Christians are better than heathens. +Prove to them that what you are pleased to call the "living God" +teaches higher and holier things, a grander and purer code of morals, +than can be found upon pagan pages. Excel these wretches in industry, +in honesty, in reverence for parents, in cleanliness, in frugality, and +above all by advocating the absolute liberty of human thought. + +Do not trample upon these people because they have different conception +of things about which even this committee knows nothing. + +Give them the same privilege you enjoy of making a god after their own +fashion, and let them describe him as they will. Would you be willing +to have them remain, if one of their race, thousands of years ago, had +pretended to have seen God, and had written of Him as follows: "There +went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth; coals +were kindled by it.... and he rode upon a cherub and did fly?" Why +should you object to these people on account of their religion? Your +objection has in it the spirit of hate and intolerance. Of that spirit +the inquisition was born. That spirit lighted the fagot, made the +thumbscrew, put chains upon the limbs, and lashes upon the backs of +men. The same spirit bought and sold, captured and kidnapped human +beings; sold babes, and justified all the horrors of slavery. Congress +has nothing to do with the religion of the people. Its members are not +responsible to God for the opinions of their constituents, and it may +tend to the happiness of the constituents for me to state that they are +in no way responsible for the religion of the members. Religion is an +individual not a national matter, and where the nation interferes with +the right of conscience, the liberties of the people are devoured by +the monster, superstition. + +If you wish to drive out the Chinese, do not make a pretext of +religion. Do not pretend that you are trying to do God a favor. +Injustice in His name is doubly detestable. The assassin cannot +sanctify his dagger by falling on his knees, and it does not help a +falsehood if it be uttered as a prayer. Religion, used to intensify +the hatred of men toward men, under the pretense of pleasing God, has +cursed this world. + +A portion of this most remarkable report is Intensely religious. There +is in it almost the odor of sanctity; and when reading it, one is +impressed with the living piety of its authors. But on the +twenty-fifth page, there are a few passages that must pain the hearts +of true believers. Leaving their religious views, the members +immediately betake themselves to philosophy and prediction. Listen: + +"The Chinese race and the American citizen, whether native-born or who +is eligible to our naturalization laws and becomes a citizen, are in a +state of antagonism. They cannot, nor will not, ever meet upon common +ground and occupy together the same so-called level. This is +impossible. The pagan and the Christian travel different paths. This +one believes in a living God; that one in the type of monsters and +worship of wood and stone. Thus in the religion of the two races of +men, they are as wide apart as the poles of the two hemispheres. They +cannot now, nor never [sic] will, approach the same religious altar. +The Christian will not recede to barbarism, nor will the Chinese +advance to the enlightened belt [wherever it is] of civilization.... He +cannot be converted to those modern ideas of religious worship which +have been accepted by Europe, and which crown the American system." + +Christians used to believe that through their religion all the nations +of the earth were finally to be blest. In accordance with that belief +missionaries have been sent to every land, and untold wealth has been +expended for what has been called the spread of the gospel. + +I am almost sure that I have read somewhere that "Christ died for all +men," and that "God is no respecter persons." It was once taught that +it was the duty of Christians to tell to all people the "tidings of +great joy." I have never believed these things myself, but have always +contended that an honest merchant was the best missionary. Commerce +makes friends, religion makes enemies; the one enriches, and the other +impoverishes; the one thrives best where the truth is told, the other +where falsehoods are believed. For myself, I have but little +confidence in any business, or enterprise, or investment, that promises +dividends only after the death of the stockholders. + +But I am astonished that four Christian statesmen, four members of +Congress in the last quarter of the nineteenth century, who seriously +object to people on account of their religious convictions, should +still assert that the very religion in which they believe--and the only +religion established by the living God--head of the American system--is +not adapted to the spiritual needs of one-third of the human race. It +is amazing that these four gentlemen have, in the defense of the +Christian religion, announced the discovery that it is wholly +inadequate for the civilization of mankind that the light of the cross +can never penetrate the darkness of China; "that all the labors of the +missionary, the example of the good, the exalted character of our +civilization, make no impression upon the pagan life of the Chinese;" +and that even the report of this committee will not tend to elevate, +refine and Christianize the yellow heathen of the Pacific Coast. In +the name of religion these gentlemen have denied its power and mocked +at the enthusiasm of its founder. Worse than this, they have predicted +for the Chinese a future of ignorance and idolatry in this world, and, +if the "American system"--of religion us true, hellfire in the next. + +For the benefit of these four philosophers and prophets, I will give a +few extracts from the writings of Confucius that will in my judgment, +compare favorably with the best passages of their report: + +"My doctrine is that man must be true to the principles of his nature, +and the benevolent exercises of them toward others. + +"With coarse rice to eat, with water to drink, and with my bended arm +for a pillow, I still have joy. + +"Riches and honor acquired by injustice are to me but floating clouds. + +"The man who, in view of gain, thinks of righteousness; who, in view of +danger, forgets life, and who remembers an old agreement, however far +back it extends, such a man may be reckoned a complete man. + +"Recompense injury with justice, and kindness with kindness." + +There is one Word which may serve as rule of practice for all one's +life. Reciprocity is that word. + +When the ancestors of the four Christian Congressmen were barbarians, +when they lived in caves, gnawed bones, and worshiped dried snakes, the +infamous Chinese were reading these sublime sentences of Confucius. +When the forefathers of these Christian statesmen were hunting toads to +get the jewels out of their heads to be used as charms, the wretched +Chinese were calculating eclipses and measuring the circumference of +the earth. When the progenitors of these representatives of the +"American system of religion" were burning women charged with nursing +devils, these people, "incapable of being influenced by the exalted +character of our civilization," were building asylums for the insane. + +Neither should it be forgotten that, for thousands of years, the +Chinese have honestly practiced the great principle known as civil +service reform--a something that even the administration of Mr. Hayes +has reached only through the proxy of promise. + +If we wish to prevent the immigration of the Chinese, let us reform our +treaties with the vast empire from whence they came. For thousands of +years the Chinese secluded themselves from the rest of the world. They +did not deem the Christian nations fit to associate with. We forced +ourselves upon them. We called, not with cards, but with cannon. The +English battered down the door in the names of Opium and Christ. This +infamy was regarded as another triumph for the gospel. At last, in +self-defense, the Chinese allowed Christians to touch their shores. +Their wise men, their philosophers protested, and prophesied that time +would show that Christians could not be trusted. This report proves +that the wise men were not only philosophers, but prophets. + +Treat China as you would England. Keep a treaty while it is in force. +Change it if you will, according to the laws of nations, but on no +account excuse a breach of national faith by pretending that we are +dishonest for God's sake. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Letter, Is Suicide a Sin? (Colonel Ingersoll's First Letter) + + +I do not know whether self-killing is on the increase or not. If it +is, then there must be, on the average, more trouble, more sorrow, more +failure, and, consequently, more people are driven to despair. In +civilized life there is a great struggle, great competition, and many +fall. To fail in a great city is like being wrecked at sea. In the +country a man has friends. He can get a little credit, a little help, +but in the city it is different. The man is lost in the multitude. In +the roar of the streets his cry is not heard. Death becomes his only +friend. Death promises release from want, from hunger and pain, and so +the poor wretch lays down his burden, dashes it from his shoulders and +falls asleep. + +To me all this seems very natural. The wonder is that so many endure +and suffer to the natural end, that so many nurse the spark of life in +huts and prisons, keep it and guard it through years of misery and +want; support it by beggary; by eating the crust found in the gutter, +and to whom it only gives days of weariness and nights of fear and +dread. Why should the man, sitting amid the wreck of all he had, the +loved ones dead, friends lost, seek to lengthen, to preserve his life? +What can the future have for him? + +Under many circumstances a man has the right to kill himself. When life +is of no value to him, when he can be of no real assistance to others, +why should a man continue? When he is of no benefit, when he is a +burden to those he loves, why should he remain? The old idea was that +"God" made us and placed us here for a purpose, and that it was our +duty to remain until He called us. The world is outgrowing this +absurdity. What pleasure can it give "God" to see a man devoured by a +cancer? To see the quivering flesh slowly eaten? To see the nerves +throbbing with pain? Is this a festival for "God"? Why should the +poor wretch stay and suffer? A little morphine would give him +sleep--the agony would be forgotten and he would pass unconsciously +from happy dreams to painless death. + +If "God" determines all births and deaths, of what use is medicine, and +why should doctors defy, with pills and powders, the decrees of "God"? +No one, except a few insane, act now according to this childish +superstition. Why should a man, surrounded by flames, in the midst of +a burning building, from which there is no escape, hesitate to put a +bullet through his brain or a dagger in his heart? Would it give "God" +pleasure to see him burn? When did the man lose the right of +self-defense? + +So, when a man has committed some awful crime, why should he stay and +ruin his family and friends? Why should he add to the injury? Why +should he live, filling his days and nights, and the days and nights of +others, with grief and pain, with agony and tears? + +Why should a man sentenced to imprisonment for life hesitate to still +his heart? The grave is better than the cell. Sleep is sweeter than +the ache of toil. The dead have no masters. + +So the poor girl, betrayed and deserted, the door of home closed +against her, the faces of friends averted, no hand that will help, no +eye that will soften with pity, the future an abyss filled with +monstrous shapes of dread and fear, her mind racked by fragments of +thoughts like clouds broken by storm, pursued, surrounded by the +serpents of remorse, flying from horrors too great to bear, rushes with +joy through the welcome door of death. + +Undoubtedly there are many cases of perfectly justifiable +suicide--cases in which not to end life would be a mistake, sometimes +almost a crime. + +As to the necessity of death, each must decide for himself. And if a +man honestly decides that death is best--best for him and others--and +acts upon the decision, why should he be blamed? + +Certainly the man who kills himself is not a physical coward. He may +have lacked moral courage, but not physical. It may be said that some +men fight duels because they are afraid to decline. They are between +two fires--the chance of death and the certainty of dishonor, and they +take the chance of death. So the Christian martyrs were, according to +their belief, between two fires--the flames of the fagot that could +burn but for a few moments and the fires of God, that were eternal. +And they chose the flames of the fagot. + +Men who fear death to that degree that they will bear all the pains and +pangs that nerves can feel rather than die, cannot afford to call the +suicide a coward. It does not seem to me that Brutus was a coward or +that Seneca was. Surely Anthony had nothing left to live for. Cato +was not a craven. He acted on his judgment. So with hundreds of +others who felt that they had reached the end--that the journey was +done, the voyage was over, and, so feeling, stopped. It seems certain +that the man who commits suicide, who "does the thing that stops all +other deeds, that shackles accident and bolts up change," is not +lacking in physical courage. + +If men had the courage they would not linger in prisons, in almshouses, +in hospitals, they would not bear the pangs of incurable disease, the +stains of dishonor, they would not live in filth and want, in poverty +and hunger, neither would they wear the chain of slavery. All this can +be accounted for only by the fear of death or "of something after." + +Seneca, knowing that Nero intended to take his life, had no fear. He +knew that he could defeat the Emperor. He knew that "at the bottom of +every river, in the coil of every rope, on the point of every dagger, +Liberty sat and smiled." He knew that it was his own fault if he +allowed himself to be tortured to death by his enemy. He said, "There +is this blessing, that while life has but one entrance, it has exits +innumerable, and as I choose the house in which I live, the ship in +which I will sail, so will I choose the time and manner of my death." +To me this is not cowardly, but manly and noble. + +Under the Roman law persons found guilty, of certain offenses were not +only destroyed, but their blood was polluted, and their children became +outcasts. If, however, they died before conviction, their children +were saved. Many committed suicide to save their babes. Certainly +they were not cowards. Although guilty of great crimes, they had +enough of honor, of manhood, left to save their innocent children. +This was not cowardice. + +Without doubt many suicides are caused by insanity. Men lose their +property. The fear of the future over powers them. Things lose +proportion, they lose poise and balance, and in a flash, a gleam of +frenzy, kill their selves. The disappointed in love, broken in +heart--the light fading from their lives--seek the refuge of death. +Those who take their lives in painful, barbarous ways--who mangle their +throats with broken glass, dash themselves from towers and roofs, take +poisons that torture like the rack--such persons must be insane. But +those who take the facts into account, who weigh the arguments for and +against, and who decide that death is best--the only good--and then +resort to reasonable means, may be, so far as I can see, in full +possession of their minds. + +Life is not the same to all--to some a blessing, to some a curse, to +some not much in any way. Some leave it with unspeakable regret, some +with the keenest joy, and some with indifference. + +Religion, or the decadence of religion, has a bearing upon the number +of suicides. The fear of "God," of judgment, of eternal pain will stay +the hand, and people so believing will suffer here until relieved by +natural death. A belief in the eternal agony beyond the grave will +cause such believers to suffer the pangs of this life. When there is +no fear of the future, when death is believed to be a dreamless sleep, +men have less hesitation about ending their lives. On the other hand, +orthodox religion has driven millions to insanity. It has caused +parents to murder their children and many thousands to destroy +themselves and others. + +It seems probable that all real, genuine orthodox believers who kill +themselves must be insane, and to such a degree that their belief is +forgotten, "God" and hell are out of their minds. I am satisfied that +many who commit suicide are insane, many are in the twilight or dusk of +insanity, and many are perfectly sane. + +The law we have in this State making it a crime to attempt suicide is +cruel and absurd and calculated to increase the number of successful +suicides. When a man has suffered so much, when he has been so +persecuted and pursued by disaster that he seeks the rest and sleep of +death, why should the State add to the sufferings of that man? A man +seeking death, knowing that he will be punished if he fails, will take +extra pains and precautions to make death certain. + +This law was born of superstition, passed by thoughtlessness and +enforced by ignorance and cruelty. + +When the house of life becomes a prison, when the horizon has shrunk +and narrowed to a cell, and when the convict longs for the liberty of +death, why should the effort to escape be regarded as a crime? + +Of course, I regard life from a natural point of view. I do not take +gods, heavens or hells into account. My horizon is the known, and my +estimate of life is based upon what I know of life here in this world. +People should not suffer for the sake of supernatural beings or for +other worlds or the hopes and fears of some future state. Our joys, +our sufferings and our duties are here. The law of New York about the +attempt to commit suicide and the law as to divorce are about equal. +Both are idiotic. Law cannot prevent suicide. Those who have lost all +fear of death, care nothing for law and its penalties. Death is +liberty, absolute and eternal. + +We should remember that nothing happens but the natural. Back of every +suicide and every attempt to commit suicide is the natural and +efficient cause. Nothing happens by chance. In this world the facts +touch each other. There is no space between--no room for chance. +Given a certain heart and brain, certain conditions, and suicide is the +necessary result. If we wish to prevent suicide we must change +conditions. We must, by education, by invention, by art, by +civilization, add to the value of the average life. We must cultivate +the brain and heart--do away with false pride and false modesty. We +must become generous enough to help our fellows without degrading them. +We must make industry useful work of all kinds--honorable. We must +mingle a little affection with our charity--a little fellowship. We +should allow those who have sinned to really reform. We should not +think only of what the wicked have done, but we should think of what we +have wanted to do. People do not hate the sick. Why should they +despise the mentally weak--the diseased in brain? + +Our actions are the fruit, the result, of circumstances--of +conditions--and we do as we must. This great truth should till the +heart with pity for the failures of our race. + +Sometimes I have wondered that Christians denounce the suicide; that in +old times they buried him where the roads crossed, and drove a stake +through his body. They took his property from his children and gave it +to the State. + +If Christians would only think, they would see the orthodox religion +rests upon suicide--that man was redeemed by suicide, and that without +suicide the whole world would have been lost. + +If Christ were God, then he had the power to protect himself from the +Jews without hurting them. But instead of using his power he allowed +them to take his life. + +If a strong man should allow a few little children to hack him to death +with knives when he could easily have brushed them aside, would we not +say that he committed suicide? + +There is no escape. If Christ were, in fact, God and allowed the Jews +to kill Him, then He consented to His own death--refused, though +perfectly able, to defend and protect Himself, and was, in fact, a +suicide. + +We cannot reform the world by law or by superstition. As long as there +shall be pain and failure, want and sorrow, agony and crime, men and +women will untie life's knot and seeks the peace of death. + +To the hopelessly imprisoned--to the dishonored and despised--to those +who have failed, who have no future, no hope--to the abandoned, the +broken-hearted, to those who are only remnants and fragments of men and +women--how consoling, how enchanting is the thought of death! + +And even to the most fortunate death at last is a welcome deliverer. +Death is as natural and as merciful as life. When we have journeyed +long--when we are weary--when we wish for the twilight, for the dusk, +for the cool kisses of the night--when the senses are dull--when the +pulse is faint and low--when the mists gather on the mirror of +memory--when the past is almost forgotten, the present hardly +perceived--when the future has but empty hands--death is as welcome as +a strain of music. + +After all, death is not so terrible as joyless life. Next to eternal +happiness is to sleep in the soft clasp of the cool earth, disturbed by +no dream, by no thought, by no pain, by no fear, unconscious of all and +forever. + +The wonder is that so many live, that in spite of rags and want, in +spite of tenement and gutter, of filth and pain, they limp and stagger +and crawl beneath their burdens to the natural end. The wonder is that +so few of the miserable are brave enough to die--that so many are +terrified by the "something after death"--by the specters and phantoms +of superstition. + +Most people are in love with life. How they cling to it in the arctic +snows--how they struggle in the waves and currents of the sea--how they +linger in famine--how they fight disaster and despair! On the +crumbling edge of death they keep the flag flying and go down at last +full of hope and courage. + +But many have not such natures. They cannot bear defeat. They are +disheartened by disaster. They lie down on the field of conflict and +give the earth their blood. + +They are our unfortunate brothers and sisters. We should not curse or +blame--we should pity. On their pallid faces our tears should fall. + +One of the best men I ever knew, with an affectionate wife, a charming +and loving daughter, committed suicide. He was a man of generous +impulses. His heart was loving and tender. He was conscientious, and +so sensitive that he blamed himself for having done what at the time he +thought wise and best. He was the victim of his virtues. Let us be +merciful in our judgments. + +All we can say is that the good and the bad, the loving and the +malignant, the conscientious and the vicious, the educated and the +ignorant, actuated by many motives, urged and pushed by circumstances +and conditions sometimes in the calm of judgment, sometimes in +passion's storm and stress, sometimes in whirl and tempest of +insanity--raise their hands against themselves and desperately put out +the light of life. + +Those who attempt suicide should not be punished. If they are insane +they should, if possible be restored to reason; if sane, they should be +reasoned with, calmed and assisted. + + + + + +Ingersoll's Letter, The Right to One's Life Colonel Ingersoll's +Eloquent Reply to His Critics + + +In the article written by me about suicide the ground was taken that +"under many circumstances a man has the right to kill himself." + +This has been attacked with great fury by clergymen, editors and the +writers of letters. These people contend that the right of +self-destruction does not and can not exist. They insist that life is +the gift of God, and that He only has the right to end the days of men; +that it is our duty to beat the sorrows that He sends with grateful +patience. Some have denounced suicide as the worst of crimes--worse +than the murder of another. + +The first question, then, is: + +Has a man under any circumstances the right to kill himself? + +A man is being slowly devoured by a cancer--his agony is intense--his +suffering all that nerves can feel. His life is slowly being taken. +Is this the work of the good God? Did the compassionate God create the +cancer so that it might feed on the quivering flesh of this victim? + +This man, suffering agonies beyond the imagination to conceive, is of +no use to himself. His life is but a succession of pangs. He is of no +use to his wife, his children, his friends or society. Day after day +he is rendered unconscious by drugs that numb the nerves and put the +brain to sleep. Has he the right to render himself unconscious? Is it +proper for him to take refuge in sleep? + +If there be a good God I cannot believe that He takes pleasure in the +sufferings of men--that He gloats over the agonies of His children. If +there be a good God, He will, to the extent of His power, lessen the +evils of life. + +So I insist that the man being eaten by the cancer--a burden to himself +and others, useless in every way--has the right to end his pain and +pass through happy sleep to dreamless rest. + +But those who have answered me would say to this man: "It is your +duty to be devoured. The good God wishes you to suffer. Your life is +the gift of God. You hold it in trust, and you have no right to end +it. The cancer is the creation of God and it is your duty to furnish it +with food." + +Take another case: A man is on a burning ship; the crew and the rest +of the passengers have escaped--gone in the lifeboats--and he is left +alone. In the wide horizon there is no sail, no sign of help. He +cannot swim. If he leaps into the sea he drowns, if he remains on the +ship he burns. In any event he can live but a few moments. + +Those who have answered me, those who insist that under no +circumstances a man has the right to take his life, would say to this +man on the deck, "Remain where you are. It is the desire of your +loving, heavenly father that you be clothed in flame--that you slowly +roast--that your eyes be scorched to blindness and that you die insane +with pain. Your life is not your own, only the agony is yours." + +I would say to this man: "Do as you wish. If you prefer drowning to +burning, leap into the sea. Between inevitable evils you have the +right of choice. You can help no one, not even God, by allowing +yourself to be burned, and you can injure no one, not even God, by +choosing the easier death." + +Let us suppose another case. + +A man has been captured by savages in central Africa. He is about to +be tortured to death. His captors are going to thrust splinters of +pure into his flesh and then set them on fire. He watches them as they +make the preparations. He knows what they are about to do and what he +is about to suffer. There is no hope of rescue, of help. He has a +vial of poison. He knows that he can take it and in one moment pass +beyond their power, leaving to them only the dead body. + +Is this man under obligation to keep his life because God gave it until +the savages by torture take it? Are the savages the agents of the good +God? Are they the servants of the infinite? Is it the duty of this +man to allow them to wrap his body in a garment of flame? Has he no +right to defend himself? Is it the will of God that he die by torture? +What would any man of ordinary intelligence do in a case like this? Is +there room for discussion? + +If the man took the poison, shortened his life a few moments, escaped +the tortures of the savages, is it possible that he would in another +world be tortured forever by an infinite savage? + +Suppose another case. In the good old days, when the inquisition +flourished, when men loved their enemies and murdered their friends, +many frightful and ingenious ways were devised to touch the nerves of +pain. + +Those who loved God, who had been "born twice," would take a fellow-man +who had been convicted of heresy, "lay him upon the floor of a dungeon, +secure his arms and legs with chains, fasten trim to the earth so that +he could not move, put an iron vessel, the opening downward, on his +stomach, place in the vessel several rats, then tie it securely to his +body. Then these worshipers of God would wait until the rats, seeking +food and liberty, would gnaw through the body of the victim. + +Now, if a man about to be subjected to this torture had within his hand +a dagger, would it excite the wrath of the "good God," if with one +quick stroke he found the protection of death? + +To this question there can be but one answer. + +In the cases I have supposed it seems to me that each person would have +the right to destroy himself. It does not seem possible that the man +was under obligation to be devoured by a cancer; to remain upon the +ship and perish in flame; to throw away the poison and be tortured to +death by savages; to drop the dagger and endure the "mercies" of the +church. + +If, in the cases I have supposed, men would have the right to take +their lives, then I was right when I said that "under many +circumstances a man has a right to kill himself." + +Second, I denied that persons who killed themselves were physical +cowards. They may lack moral courage; they may exaggerate their +misfortunes, lose the sense of proportion, but the man who plunges the +dagger in his heart, who sends the bullet through his brain, who leaps +from some roof and dashes himself against the stones beneath, is not +and cannot be a physical coward. + +The basis of cowardice is the fear of injury or the fear of death, and +when that fear is not only gone, but in its place is the desire to die, +no matter by what means, it is impossible that cowardice should exist. +The suicide wants the very thing that a coward fears. He seeks the +very thing that cowardice endeavors to escape. + +So the man, forced to a choice of evils, choosing the less is not a +coward, but a reasonable man. It must be admitted that the suicide is +honest with himself. He is to bear the injury, if it be one. +Certainly there is no hypocrisy, and just as certainly there is no +physical cowardice. + +Is the man who takes morphine rather than be eaten to death by a cancer +a coward? + +Is the man who leaps into the sea rather than be burned a coward? Is +the man that takes poison rather than be tortured to death by savages +or "Christians" a coward? + +Third, I also took the position that some suicides were sane; that they +acted on their best judgment, and that they were in full possession of +their minds. + +Now, if, under some circumstances, a man has the right to take his +life, and if, under such circumstances, he does take his life, then it +cannot be said that he was insane. + +Most of the persons who have tried to answer me have taken the ground +that suicide is not only a crime, but some of them have said that it is +the greatest of crimes. Now, if it be a crime, then the suicide must +have been sane. So all persons who denounce the suicide as a criminal +admit that he was sane. Under the law, an insane person is incapable +of committing a crime. All the clergymen who have answered me, and who +have passionately asserted that suicide is a crime, have by that +assertion admitted that those who killed themselves were sane. + +They agree with me, and not only admit, but assert that "some who have +committed suicide were sane and in the full possession of their minds." + +It seems to me that these three propositions have been demonstrated to +be true: First, that under some circumstances a man has the right to +take his life; second, that the man who commits suicide is not a +physical coward; and, third, that some who have committed suicide were +at the time sane and in full possession of their minds. + +Fourth, I insisted, and still insist, that suicide was and is the +foundation of the Christian religion. + +I still insist that if Christ were God He had the power to protect +Himself without injuring His assailants--that having that power it was +His duty to use it, and that failing to use it He consented to His own +death and was guilty of suicide. To this the clergy answer that it was +self-sacrifice for the redemption of man, that He made an atonement for +the sins of believers. These ideas about redemption and atonement are +born of a belief in the "fall of man," on account of the sins of our +"first parents," and of the declaration that "without the shedding of +blood there is no remission of sin." The foundation has crumbled. No +intelligent person now believes in the "fall of man"--that our first +parents were perfect, and that their descendants grew worse and worse, +at least until the coming of Christ. + +Intelligent men now believe that ages and ages before the dawn of +history man was a poor, naked, cruel, ignorant and degraded savage, +whose language consisted of a few sounds of terror, of hatred and +delight; that he devoured his fellow-man, having all the vices, but not +all the virtues of the beasts; that the journey from the den to the +home, the palace, has been long and painful, through many centuries of +suffering, of cruelty and war; through many ages of discovery, +invention, self-sacrifice and thought. + +Redemption and atonement are left without a fact on which to rest. The +idea that an infinite God, creator of all worlds, came to this grain of +sand, learned the trade of a carpenter, discussed with Pharisees and +scribes, and allowed a few infuriated Hebrews to put Him to death that +He might atone for the sins of men and redeem a few believers from the +consequences of His own wrath, can find no lodgment in a good and +natural brain. + +In no mythology can anything more monstrously Unbelievable be found. + +But if Christ were a man and attacked the religion of His times because +it was cruel and absurd; if He endeavored to found a religion of +kindness, of good deeds, to take the place of heartlessness and +ceremony, and if, rather than to deny what He believed to be right and +true; He suffered death, then He was a noble man--a benefactor of His +race. But if He were God there was no need of this. The Jews did not +wish to kill God. If He had only made himself known, all knees would +have touched the ground. If He were God it required no heroism to die. +He knew that what we call death is but the opening of the gates of +eternal life. If He were God, there was no self-sacrifice. He had no +need to suffer pain. He could have changed the crucifixion to a joy. + +Even the editors of religious weeklies see that there is no escape from +these conclusions--from these arguments--and so, instead of attacking +the arguments, they attack the man who makes them. + +Fifth, I denounced the law of New York that makes an attempt to commit +suicide a crime. + +It seems to me that one who has suffered so much that he passionately +longs for death should be pitied, instead of punished--helped rather +than imprisoned. + +A despairing woman who had vainly sought for leave to toil, a woman +without home, without friends, without bread, with clasped hands, with +tear-filled eyes, with broken words of prayer, in the darkness of night +leaps from the dock, hoping, longing for the tearless sleep of death. +She is rescued by a kind, courageous man, handed over to the +authorities, indicted, tried, convicted, clothed in a convict's garb +and locked in a felon's cell. + +To me this law seems barbarous and absurd, a law that only savages +would enforce. + +Sixth, in this discussion a curious thing has happened. For several +centuries the clergy have declared that while infidelity is a very good +thing to live by, it is a bad support, a wretched consolation, in the +hour of death. They have, in spite of the truth, declared that all the +great unbelievers died trembling with fear, asking God for mercy, +surrounded by fiends, in the torments of despair. Think of the +thousands and thousands of clergymen who have described the last +agonies of Voltaire, who died as peacefully as a happy child smilingly +passes from play to slumber; the final anguish of Hume, who fell into +his last sleep as serenely as a river, running between green and shaded +banks, reaches the sea; the despair of Thomas Paine, one of the +bravest, one of the noblest men, who met the night of death untroubled +as a star that meets the morning. + +At the same time these ministers admitted that the average murderer +could meet death on the scaffold with perfect serenity, and could +smilingly ask the people who had gathered to see him killed meet him in +heaven. + +But the honest man who had expressed his honest thoughts against the +creed of the church in power could not die in peace. God would see to +it that his last moments should be filled with the insanity of +fear--that with his last breath he should utter the shriek of remorse, +the cry for pardon. + +This has all changed, and now the clergy, in their sermons answering +me, declare that the atheists, the free-thinkers, have no fear of +death--that to avoid some little annoyance, a passing inconvenience, +they gladly and cheerfully put out the light of life. It is now said +that infidels believe that death is the end--that it is a dreamless +sleep--that it is without pain--that therefore they have no fear, care +nothing for gods or heavens or hells, nothing for the threats of the +pulpit, nothing for the day of judgment, and that when life becomes a +burden they carelessly throw it down. + +The infidels are so afraid of death that they commit suicide. This +certainly is a great change, and I congratulate myself on having forced +the clergy to contradict themselves. + +Seventh, the clergy take the position that the atheist, the unbeliever, +has no standard of morality--that he can have no real conception of +right and wrong. They are of the opinion that it is impossible for one +to be moral or good unless he believes in some being far above himself. + +In this connection we might ask how God can be moral or good unless he +believes in some being superior to himself. + +What is morality? It is the best thing to do under the circumstances. +What is the best thing to do under the circumstances? That which will +increase the sum of human happiness--or lessen it the least. +Happiness, in its highest, noblest form, is the only good; that which +increases or preserves or creates happiness is moral--that which +decreases it, or puts it in peril, is immoral. + +It is not hard for an atheist--for an unbeliever--to keep his hands out +of the fire. He knows that burning his hands will not increase his +well-being, and he is moral enough to keep them out of the flames. + +So it may be said that each man acts according to his intelligence--so +far as what he considers his own good is concerned. Sometimes he is +swayed by passion, by prejudice, by ignorance, but when he is really +intelligent, master of himself, he does what he believes is best for +him. If he is intelligent enough he knows that what is really good for +him is good for others--for all the world. + +It is impossible for me to see why any belief in the supernatural is +necessary to have a keen perception of right and wrong. Every man who +has the capacity to suffer and enjoy, and has imagination enough to +give the same capacity to others, has within himself the natural basis +of all morality. The idea of morality was born here, in this world, +of the experience, the intelligence of mankind. Morality is not of +supernatural origin. It did not fall from the clouds, and it needs no +belief in the supernatural, no supernatural promises or threats, no +supernatural heavens or hells to give it force and life. Subjects who +are governed by the threats and promises of a king are merely slaves. +They are not governed by the ideal, by noble views of right and wrong. +They are obedient cowards, controlled by fear, or beggars governed by +rewards, by alms. + +Right and wrong exist in the nature of things. Murder was just as +criminal before as after the promulgation of the ten commandments. + +Eighth, many of the clergy, some editors and some writers of letters +who have answered me have said that suicide is the worst of crimes, +that a man had better murder somebody else than himself. One clergyman +gives as a reason for this statement that the suicide dies in an act of +sin, and therefore he had better kill another person. Probably he +would commit a less crime if he would murder his wife or mother. + +I do not see that it is any worse to die than to live in sin. To say +that it is not as wicked to murder another as yourself seems absurd. +The man about to kill himself wishes to die. Why is it better for him +to kill another man, who wishes to live? + +To my mind it seems clear that you had better injure yourself than +another. Better be a spendthrift than thief. Better throw away your +own money than steal the money of another. Better kill yourself if you +wish to die than murder one whose life is full of joy. + +The clergy tell us that God is everywhere, and that it is one of the +greatest possible crimes to rush into His presence. It is wonderful +how much they know about God and how little about their fellow-men. +Wonderful the amount of their information about other worlds and how +limited their knowledge is of this. + +There may or may not be an infinite being. I neither affirm nor deny. +I am honest enough to say that I do not know. I am candid enough to +admit that the question is beyond the limitations of my mind. Yet I +think I know as much on that subject as any human being knows or ever +knew, and that is--nothing. + +I do not say that there is not another world, another life; neither do +I say that there is. I say that I do not know. It seems to me that +every sane and honest man must say the same. But if there is an +infinitely good God and another world, then the infinitely good God +will be just as good to us in that world as he is in this. If this +infinitely good God loves His children in this world, He will love them +in another. If He loves a man when he is alive, He will not hate him +the instant he is dead. If we are the children of an infinitely wise +and powerful God, He knew exactly what we would do--the temptations +that we could and could not withstand--knew exactly the effect that +everything would have upon us, knew under what circumstances we would +take our lives--and produced such circumstances himself. It is +perfectly apparent that there are many people incapable by nature of +bearing the burdens of life, incapable or preserving their mental poise +in stress and strain of disaster, disease and loss, and who by failure, +by misfortune and want, are driven to despair and insanity, in whose +darkened minds there comes like a flash of lightning in the night, the +thought of death, a thought so strong, so vivid, that all fear is lost, +all ties broken, all duties, all obligations, all hopes forgotten, and +naught remains except a fierce and wild desire to die. Thousands and +thousands become moody, melancholy, brood upon loss of money, of +position, of friends, until reason abdicates, and frenzy takes +possession of the soul. If there be an infinitely wise and powerful +God, all this was known to Him from the beginning, and He so created +things, established relations, put in operation causes and effects that +all that has happened was the necessary result of his own acts. + +Ninth, nearly all who have tried to answer what I said have been +exceeding careful to misquote me, and then answer something that I +never uttered. They have declared that I have advised people who were +in trouble, somewhat annoyed, to kill themselves; that I have told men +who have lost their money, who had failed in business, who were not +good in health, to kill themselves at once, without taking into +consideration any duty that they owed to wives, children, friends, or +society. + +No man has a right to leave his wife to fight the battle alone if he is +able to help. No man has a right to desert his children if he can +possibly be of use. As long as he can add to the comfort of those he +loves, as long as he can stand between wife and misery, between child +and want, as long as he can be of use, it is his duty to remain. + +I believe in the cheerful view, in looking at the sunny side of things, +in bearing with fortitude the evils of life, in struggling against +adversity, in finding the fuel of laughter even in disaster, in having +confidence in tomorrow, in finding the pearl of joy among the flints +and shards, and in changing by the alchemy of patience even evil things +to good. I believe in the gospel of cheerfulness, of courage and +good-nature. + +Of the future I have no fear. My fate is the fate of the world, of all +that live. My anxieties are about this life, this world. About the +phantoms called gods and their impossible hells, I have no care, no +fear. + +The existence of God I neither affirm nor deny. I wait. The +immortality of the soul I neither affirm nor deny. I hope, hope for +all of the children of men. I have never denied the existence of +another world, nor the immortality of the soul. For many years I have +said that the idea of immortality, that like a sea has ebbed and flowed +in the human heart, with its countless waves of hope and fear beating +against the shores and rocks of time and fate, was not born of any +book, nor of any creed, nor of any religion. It was born of human +affection, and it will continue to ebb and flow beneath the mists and +clouds of doubt and darkness as long as love kisses the lips of death. + +What I deny is the immortality of pain, the eternity of torture. + +After all, the instinct of self-preservation is strong. People do not +kill themselves on the advice of friends or enemies. All wish to be +happy, to enjoy life; all wish for food and roof and raiment, for +friends, and as long as life gives joy the idea of self-destruction +never enters the human mind. + +The oppressors, the tyrants, those who trample on the rights of others, +the robbers of the poor, those who put wages below the living point, +the ministers who make people insane by preaching the dogma of eternal +pain; these are the men who drive the weak, the suffering and the +helpless down to death. + +It will not do to say that "God" has appointed a time for each to die. +Of this there is, and there can be, no evidence. There is no evidence +that any god takes any interest in the affairs of men--that any sides +with the right or helps the weak, protects the innocent or rescues the +oppressed. Even the clergy admit that their God, through all ages, has +allowed his friends, his worshipers, to be imprisoned, tortured and +murdered by His enemies. Such is the protection of God. Billions of +prayers have been uttered; has one been answered? Who sends plague, +pestilence and famine? Who bids the earthquake devour and the volcano +to overwhelm? + +Tenth, again I say that it is wonderful to me that so many men, so many +women endure and carry their burdens to the natural end; that so many, +in spite of "age, ache and penury," guard with trembling hands the +spark of life; that prisoners for life toil and suffer to the last; +that the helpless wretches in poor-houses and asylums cling to life; +that the exiles in Siberia, loaded with chains, scarred with the knout, +live on; that the incurables, whose every breath is a pang, and for +whom the future has only pain, should fear the merciful touch and clasp +of death. + +It is but a few steps at most from the cradle to the grave; a short +journey. The suicide hastens, shortens the path, loses the afternoon, +the twilight, the dusk of life's day; loses what he does not want, what +he cannot bear. In the tempest of despair, in the blind fury of +madness or in the calm of thought and choice the beleaguered soul finds +the serenity of death. + +Let us leave the dead where nature leaves them. We know nothing of any +realm that lies beyond the horizon of the known, beyond the end of +life. Let us be honest with ourselves and others. Let us pity the +suffering, the despairing, the men and women hunted and pursued by +grief and shame, by misery and want, by chance and fate until their +only friend is death. + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Lectures of Col. R. G. Ingersoll - +Latest, by Robert Green Ingersoll + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INGERSOLL LECTURES--LATEST *** + +***** This file should be named 8389.txt or 8389.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/8/3/8/8389/ + +Produced by Jake Jaqua. 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