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diff --git a/old/ingr110.txt b/old/ingr110.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..24936cf --- /dev/null +++ b/old/ingr110.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11566 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Lectures Of Col. R. G. Ingersoll, Vol. I +by Col. Robert Green Ingersoll + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Lectures Of Col. R. G. Ingersoll, Vol. I + Including His Answers To The Clergy, + His Oration At His Brother's Grave, Etc., Etc. + +Author: Col. Robert Green Ingersoll + +Release Date: May, 2005 [EBook #8140] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 18, 2003] +[Date last updated: May 18, 2004] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LECTURES OF COL. INGERSOLL, V1 *** + + + + +Produced by Mark R. Jaqua + + + + +LECTURES OF COL. R. G. INGERSOLL + + +Including His Answers To The Clergy, His Oration At His Brother's +Grave, Etc., Etc. + + +Complete In Two Volumes + + +Volume I + + + + + +CONTENTS + + Gods + Ghosts + Hell + Individuality + Humboldt + Which Way + The Great Infidels + Talmagian Theology + At a Child's Grave + Ingersoll's Oration at His Brother's Grave + Mistakes of Moses + Skulls and Replies + What Shall We Do To Be Saved? + Ingersoll's Answer To Prof. Swing, Dr. Thomas, And Others + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON GODS + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: An honest god is the noblest work of man. Each +nation has created a god, and the god has always resembled his creators. +He hated and loved what they hated and loved, and he was invariably +found on the side of those in power. Each god was intensely patriotic, +and detested all nations but his own. All these Gods demanded praise, +flattery, and worship. Most of them were pleased with sacrifice, and +the smell of innocent blood has ever been considered a divine perfume. +All these gods have insisted upon having a vast number of priests, and +the priests have always insisted upon being supported by the people, and +the principal business of these priests has been to boast about their +God, and to insist that he could easily vanquish all the other gods put +together. + +These gods have been manufactured after numberless models, and according +to the most grotesque fashions. Some have a thousand arms, some a +hundred heads, some are adorned with necklaces of living snakes, some +are armed with clubs, some with sword and shield, some with bucklers, +and some with wings as a cherub; some were invisible, some would show +themselves entire, and some would only show their backs; some were +jealous, some were foolish, some turned themselves into men, some into +swans, some into bulls, some into doves, and some into holy ghosts, and +made love to the beautiful daughters of men. Some were married--all +ought to have been--and some were considered as old bachelors from all +eternity. Some had children, and the children were turned into gods and +worshiped as their fathers had been. Most of these gods were +revengeful, savage, lustful, and ignorant; as they generally depended +upon their priests for information, their ignorance can hardly excite +our astonishment. + +These gods did not even know the shape of the worlds they had created, +but supposed them perfectly flat. Some thought the day could be +lengthened by stopping the sun, that the blowing of horns could throw +down the walls of a city, and all knew so little of the real nature of +the people they had created, that they commanded the people to love +them. Some were so ignorant as to suppose that man could believe just +as he might desire, or as might command, and to be governed by +observation, reason, and experience was a most foul and damning sin. +None of these gods could give a true account of the creation of this +little earth. All were woefully deficient in geology and astronomy. As +a rule, they were most miserable legislators, and as executives, they +were far inferior to the average of American presidents. + +The deities have demanded the most abject and degrading obedience. In +order to please them, man must lay his very face in the dust. Of course, +they have always been partial to the people who created them, and they +have generally shown their partiality by assisting those people to rob +and destroy others, and to ravish their wives and daughters. Nothing is +so pleasing to these gods as the butchery of unbelievers. Nothing so +enrages them, even now as to have some one deny their existence. + +Few nations have been so poor as to have but one god. Gods were made so +easily, and the raw material cost so little, that generally the god +market was fairly glutted, and heaven crammed with these phantoms. +These gods not only attended to the skies, but were supposed to +interfere in all the affairs of men. They presided over everybody and +everything. They attended to every department. All was supposed to be +under their immediate control. Nothing was too small--nothing too +large; the falling of sparrows and the motions of planets were alike +attended to by these industrious and observing deities. From their +starry thrones they frequently came to the earth for the purpose of +imparting information to man. It is related of one that he came amid +thunderings and lightnings in order to tell the people they should not +cook a kid in its mother's milk. Some left their shining abode to tell +women that they should, or should not, have children, to inform a priest +how to cut and wear his apron, and to give directions as to the proper +manner for cleaning the intestines of a bird. + +When the people failed to worship one of these gods, or failed to feed +and clothe his priests, (which was much the same thing,) he generally +visited them with pestilence and famine. Sometimes he allowed some +other nation to drag them into slavery--to sell their wives and +children; but generally he glutted his vengeance by murdering their +first born. The priests always did their whole duty, not only in +predicting these calamities, but in proving, when they did happen, that +they were brought upon the people because they had not given quite +enough to them. + +These gods differed just as the nations differed; the greatest and most +powerful had the most powerful gods, while the weaker ones were obliged +to content themselves with the very off-scourings of the heavens. Each +of these gods promised happiness here and hereafter to all his slaves, +and threatened to eternally punish all who either disbelieved in his +existence or suspected that some other God might be his superior; but +to deny the existence of all gods was, and is, the crime of crimes. +Redden your hands with human blood; blast by slander the fair fame of +the innocent; strangle the smiling child upon its mother's knees; +deceive, ruin and desert the beautiful girl who loves and trusts you, +and your case is not hopeless. For all this, and for all these, you may +be forgiven. For all this, and for all these, that bankrupt court +established by the gospel, will give you a discharge; but deny the +existence of these divine ghosts, of these gods, and the sweet and +tearful face of Mercy becomes livid with eternal hate. Heaven's golden +gates are shut, and you, with an infinite curse ringing in your ears, +with the brand of infamy upon your brow, commence your endless +wanderings in the lurid gloom of hell--an immortal vagrant--an eternal +outcast--a deathless convict. + +One of these gods, and one who demands our love, our admiration and our +worship, and one who is worshiped, if mere heartless ceremony is +worship, gave to his chosen people for their guidance the following laws +of war: "When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then +proclaim peace unto it. And it shall be if it make thee answer of +peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be that all the people that is +found therein shall be tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee. +And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, +then thou shalt besiege it. And when the Lord thy God hath delivered it +into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of +the sword. But the women and the little ones, and the cattle, and all +that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto +thyself, and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies which the Lord +thy God hath given thee. Thus shalt thou do unto all the cities which +are very far off from thee, which are not of the cities of these +nations. But of the cities of these people which the Lord thy God doth +give thee for an inheritance, thou shall save alive nothing that +breatheth." + +Is it possible for man to conceive of anything more perfectly infamous? +Can you believe that such directions were given by any except an +infinite fiend? Remember that the army receiving these instructions was +one of invasion. Peace was offered on condition that the people +submitting should be the slaves of the invader; but if any should have +the courage to defend their home, to fight for the love of wife and +child, then the sword was to spare none--not even the prattling, dimpled +babe. + +And we are called upon to worship such a god; to get upon our knees and +tell him that he is good, that he is merciful, that he is just, that he +is love. We are asked to stifle every noble sentiment of the soul, and +to trample under foot all the sweet charities of the heart. Because we +refuse to stultify ourselves--refuse to become liars--we are denounced, +hated, traduced and ostracized here, and this same god threatens to +torment us in eternal fire the moment death allows him to fiercely +clutch our naked helpless souls. Let the people hate, let the god +threaten--we will educate them, and we will despise and defy him. + +The book, called the bible, is filled with passages equally horrible, +unjust and atrocious. This is the book to read in schools in order to +make our children loving, kind and gentle! This is the book recognized +in our Constitution as the source of authority and justice! + +Strange that no one has ever been persecuted by the Church for believing +God bad, while hundreds of millions have been destroyed for thinking him +good. The orthodox church never will forgive the Universalist for +saying "God is love." It has always been considered as one of the very +highest evidence of true and undefiled religion to insist that all men, +women and children deserve eternal damnation. It has always been heresy +to say, "God will at last save all." + +We are asked to justify these frightful passages, these infamous laws of +war, because the bible is the word of God. As a matter of fact, there +never was, and there never can be, an argument, even tending to prove +the inspiration of any book whatever. In the absence of positive +evidence, analogy and experience, argument is simply impossible, and at +the very best, can amount only to a useless agitation of the air. The +instant we admit that a book is too sacred to be doubted, or even +reasoned about, we are mental serfs. It is infinitely absurd to suppose +that a god would address a communication to intelligent beings, and yet +make it a crime, to be punished in eternal flames for them to use their +intelligence for the purpose of understanding his communication. If we +have the right to use our reason, we certainly have the right to act in +accordance with it, and no god can have the right to punish us for such +action. + +The doctrine that future happiness depends upon belief is monstrous. It +is the infamy of infamies. The notion that faith in Christ is to be +rewarded by an eternity of bliss, while a dependence upon reason, +observation, and experience merits everlasting pain, is too absurd for +refutation, and can be relieved only by that unhappy mixture of insanity +and ignorance, called "faith." What man, who ever thinks, can believe +that blood can appease God? And yet, our entire system of religion is +based upon that belief. The Jews pacified Jehovah with the blood of +animals, and according to the Christian system, the blood of Jesus +softened the heart of God a little, and rendered possible the salvation +of a fortunate few. It is hard to conceive how the human mind can give +assent to such terrible ideas, or how any sane man can read the bible +and still believe in the doctrine of inspiration. + +Whether the bible is true or false, is of no consequence in comparison +with the mental freedom of the race. + +Salvation through slavery is worthless. Salvation from slavery is +inestimable. + +As long as man believes the bible to be infallible, that is his master. +The civilization of this century is not the child of faith, but of +unbelief--the result of free thought. + +All that is necessary, as it seems to me, to convince any reasonable +person that the bible is simply and purely of human invention--of +barbarian invention--is to read it. Read it as you would any other +book; think of it as you would any other; get the bandage of reverence +from your eyes; drive from your heart the phantom of fear; push from +the throne of your brain the cowled form of superstition--then read the +holy bible, and you will be amazed that you ever, for one moment, +supposed a being of infinite wisdom, goodness and purity to be the +author of such ignorance and of such atrocity. + +Our ancestors not only had their God-factories, but they made devils as +well. These devils were generally disgraced and fallen gods. Some had +headed unsuccessful revolts; some had been caught sweetly reclining in +the shadowy folds of some fleecy clouds, kissing the wife of the God of +gods. These devils generally sympathized with man. There is in regard +to them a most wonderful fact: In nearly all the theologies, mythologic +and religious, the devils have been much more humane and merciful than +the gods. No devil ever gave one of his generals an order to kill +children and to rip open the bodies of pregnant women. Such barbarities +were always ordered by the good gods. The pestilences were sent by the +most merciful gods. The frightful famine, during which the dying child +with pallid lips sucked the withered bosom of a dead mother, was sent by +the loving gods. No devil was ever charged with such fiendish +brutality. + +One of these gods, according to the account, drowned an entire world, +with the exception of eight persons. The old, the young, the beautiful +and the helpless were remorselessly devoured by the shoreless sea. +This, the most fearful tragedy that the imagination of ignorant priests +ever conceived, was the act not of a devil, but of God so-called, whom +men ignorantly worship unto this day. What a stain such an act would +leave upon the character of a devil! One of the prophets of one of +these gods, having in his power a captured king, hewed him in pieces in +the sight of all the people. Was ever any imp of any devil guilty of +such savagery? + +One of these gods is reported to have given the following directions +concerning human slavery: "If thou buy a Hebrew servant six years +shall he serve, and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. If +he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself; if he were married, +then his wife shall go out with him. If his master have given him a +wife, and she have borne him sons or daughters, the wife and her +children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself. And if +the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife and my +children; I will not go out free; then his master shall bring him unto +the judges: he shall also bring him unto the door, or unto the +doorpost; and his Master shall bore his ear with an awl; and he shall +serve him forever." + +According to this, a man was given liberty upon condition that he would +desert forever his wife and children. Did any devil ever force upon a +husband, upon a father, so cruel and so heartless an alternative? Who +can worship such a god? Who can bend the knee to such a monster? Who +can pray to such a fiend? + +All these gods threatened to torment forever the souls of their enemies. +Did any devil ever make so infamous a threat? The basest thing recorded +of the devil, is what he did concerning job and his family, and that was +done by the express permission of one of these gods and to decide a +little difference of opinion between their serene highnesses as to the +character of "my servant Job." + +The first account we have of the devil is found in that purely +scientific book called Genesis, and is as follows: "Now the serpent was +more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made, and +he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, ye shall not eat of the +fruit of the trees of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent. +We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of +the tree which is in the midst of the garden God hath said, Ye shall +not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent +said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die. For God doth know that in +the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened and ye shall be +as gods, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree +was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to +be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof and did eat, +and gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat...... And the +Lord God said, Behold the man has become as one of us, to know good and +evil; and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of +life and eat, and live forever. Therefore the Lord God sent him forth +from the garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken. So +he drove out the man, and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden +cherubims and a flaming sword, which turned every way to keep the way of +the tree of life." + +According to this account the promise of the devil was fulfilled to the +very letter. Adam and Eve did not die, and they did become as gods, +knowing good and evil. The account shows, however, that the gods +dreaded education and knowledge then just as they do now. The church +still faithfully guards the dangerous tree of knowledge, and has exerted +in all ages her utmost power to keep mankind from eating the fruit +thereof. The priests have never ceased repeating the old falsehood and +the old threat: "Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, +lest ye die." From every pulpit comes the same cry, born of the same +fear "Lest they eat and become as gods, knowing good and evil." For +this reason, religion hates science, faith detests reason, theology is +the sworn enemy of philosophy, and the church with its flaming sword +still guards the hated tree, and like its supposed founder, curses to +the lowest depths the brave thinkers who eat and become as gods. + +If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, +to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first +advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper +in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the +author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress +and of civilization. + +Give me the storm and tempest of thought and action, rather than the +dead calm of ignorance and faith. Banish me from Eden when you will; +but first let me eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge! Some +nations have borrowed their gods; of this number, we are compelled to +say, is our own. The Jews having ceased to exist as a nation, and +having no further use for a god, our ancestors appropriated him and +adopted their devil at the same time. This borrowed god is still an +object of some adoration, and this adopted devil still excites the +apprehensions of our people. He is still supposed to be setting his +traps and snares for the purpose of catching our unwary souls, and is +still, with reasonable success, waging the old war against our god. + +To me, it seems easy to account for these ideas concerning gods and +devils. They are a perfectly natural production. Man has created them +all, and under the same circumstances will create them again. Man has +not only created all these gods, but he has created them out of the +materials by which he has been surrounded. Generally he has modeled them +after himself, and has given them hands, heads, feet, eyes, ears, and +organs of speech. Each nation made its gods and devils speak its +language not only, but put in their mouths the same mistakes in history, +geography, astronomy, and in all matters of fact, generally made by the +people. + +No god was ever in advance of the nation that created him. The negroes +represented their deities with black skins and curly hair. The Mongolian +gave to his a yellow complexion and dark almond-shaped eyes. The Jews +were not allowed to paint theirs, or we should have seen Jehovah with a +full beard, an oval face, and an aquiline nose. Zeus was a perfect Greek +and Jove looked as though a member of the Roman senate. The gods of +Egypt had the patient face and placid look of the loving people who made +them. The gods of northern countries were represented warmly clad in +robes of fur; those of the tropics were naked. The gods of India were +often mounted upon elephants, those of some islanders were great +swimmers, and the deities of the Arctic zone were passionately fond of +whale's blubber. Nearly all people have carved or painted +representations of their gods, and these representations were, by the +lower classes generally treated as the real gods, and to these images +and idols they addressed prayers and offered sacrifice. + +In some countries, even at this day, if the people after long praying +do not obtain their desires, they turn their images off as impotent +gods, or upbraid them in a most reproachful manner, loading them with +blows and curses. 'How now, dog of a spirit,' they say, 'we give you +lodging in a magnificent temple, we gild you with gold, feed you with +the choicest food, and offer incense to you; yet, after all this care, +you are so ungrateful as to refuse us what we ask.' Hereupon they will +pull the god down and drag him through the filth of the street. If, in +the meantime, it happens that they obtain their request, then with a +great deal of ceremony, they wash him clean, carry him back and place +him in his temple again, where they fall down and make excuses for what +they have done. 'Of a truth,' they say, 'we were a little too hasty, +and you were a little too long in your grant. Why should you bring this +beating on yourself. But what is done cannot be undone.' Let us not +think of it any more. If you will forget what is past, we will gild you +over brighter again than before. + +Man has never been at a loss for gods. He has worshiped almost +everything, including the vilest and most disgusting beasts. He has +worshiped fire, earth, air, water, light, stars, and for hundreds of +ages, prostrated himself before enormous snakes. Savage tribes often +make gods of articles they get from civilized people. The Todas worship +a cow-bell. The Kotas worship two silver plates, which they regard as +husband and wife, and another tribe manufactured a god out of a king of +hearts. + +Man, having always been the physical superior of woman, accounts for the +fact that most of the high gods have been males. Had woman been the +physical superior, the powers supposed to be the ruler of Nature would +have been woman, and instead of being represented in the apparel of man, +they would have luxuriated in trains, low necked dresses, laces and +back-hair. + +Nothing can be plainer than that each nation gives to its god its +peculiar characteristics, and that every individual gives to his God his +personal peculiarities. + +Man has no ideas, and can have none, except those suggested by his +surroundings. He cannot conceive of anything utterly unlike what he has +seen or felt. He can exaggerate, diminish, combine, separate, deform, +beautify, improve, multiply and compare what he sees, what he feels, +what he hears, and all of which he takes cognizance through the medium +of the senses; but he cannot create. Having seen exhibitions of power, +he can say, omnipotent. Having lived, he can say, immortality. Knowing +something of time, he can say, eternity. Conceiving something of +intelligence, he can say God. Having seen exhibitions of malice, he can +say, devil. A few gleams of happiness having fallen athwart the gloom +of his life, he can say, heaven. Pain, in its numberless forms, having +been experienced, he can say, hell. Yet all these ideas have a +foundation in fact, and only a foundation. The superstructure has been +reared by exaggerating, diminishing, combining, separating, deforming, +beautifying, improving or multiplying realities, so that the edifice or +fabric is but the incongruous grouping of what man has perceived through +the medium of the senses. It is as though we should give to a lion the +wings of an eagle, the hoofs of a bison, the tail of a horse, the pouch +of a kangaroo, and the trunk of an elephant. We have in imagination +created an impossible monster. And yet the various parts of this +monster really exist. So it is with all the gods that man has made. + +Beyond nature man cannot go even in thought--above nature he cannot +rise--below nature he cannot fall. + +Man, in his ignorance, supposed that all phenomena were produced by some +intelligent powers, and with direct reference to him. To preserve +friendly relations with these powers was, and still is, the object of +all religions. Man knelt through fear and to implore assistance, or +through gratitude for some favor which he supposed had been rendered. +He endeavored by supplication to appease some being who, for some +reason, had, as he believed become enraged. The lightning and thunder +terrified him. In the presence of the volcano he sank upon his knees. +The great forests filled with wild and ferocious beasts, the monstrous +serpents crawling in mysterious depths, the boundless sea, the flaming +comets, the sinister eclipses, the awful calmness of the stars, and more +than all, the perpetual presence of death, convinced him that he was the +sport and prey of unseen and malignant powers. The strange and +frightful diseases to which he was subject, the freezings and burnings +of fever, the contortions of epilepsy, the sudden palsies, the darkness +of night, and the wild, terrible and fantastic dreams that filled his +brain, satisfied him that he was haunted and pursued by countless +spirits of evil. For some reason he supposed that these spirits +differed in power--that they were not all alike malevolent--that the +higher controlled the lower, and that his very existence depended upon +gaining the assistance of the more powerful. For this purpose he +resorted to prayer, to flattery, to worship and to sacrifice. These +ideas appear to have been almost universal in savage man. + +For ages all nations supposed that the sick and insane were possessed by +evil spirits. For thousands of years the practice of medicine consisted +in frightening these spirits away. Usually the priests would make the +loudest and most discordant noises possible. They would blow horns, +beat upon rude drums, clash cymbals, and in the meantime utter the most +unearthly yells. If the noise-remedy failed, they would implore the aid +of some more powerful spirit. + +To pacify these spirits was considered of infinite importance. The poor +barbarian, knowing that men could be softened by gifts, gave to these +spirits that which to him seemed of the most value. With bursting heart +he would offer the blood of his dearest child. It was impossible for him +to conceive of a god utterly unlike himself, and he naturally supposed +that these powers of the air would be affected a little at the sight of +so great and so deep a sorrow. It was with the barbarian then as with +the civilized now--one class lived upon and made merchandise of the +fears of another. Certain persons took it upon themselves to appease the +gods, and to instruct the people in their duties to these unseen powers. +This was the origin of the priesthood. The priest pretended to stand +between the wrath of the gods and the helplessness of man. He was man's +attorney at the court of heaven. He carried to the invisible world a +flag of truce, a protest and a request. He came back with a command, +with authority and with power. Man fell upon his knees before his own +servant, and the priest, taking advantage of the awe inspired by his +supposed influence with the gods, made of his fellow-man a cringing +hypocrite and slave. Even Christ, the supposed son of God, taught that +persons were possessed of evil spirits, and frequently, according to the +account, gave proof of his divine origin and mission by frightening +droves of devils out of his unfortunate countrymen. Casting out devils +was his principal employment, and the devils thus banished generally +took occasion to acknowledge him as the true Messiah; which was not +only very kind of them, but quite fortunate for him. The religious +people have always regarded the testimony of these devils as perfectly +conclusive, and the writers of the New Testament quote the words of +these imps of darkness with great satisfaction. + +The fact that Christ could withstand the temptations of the devil was +considered as conclusive evidence that he was assisted by some god, or +at least by some being superior to man. St. Matthew gives an account of +an attempt made by the devil to tempt the supposed son of God; and it +has always excited the wonder of Christians that the temptation was so +nobly and heroically withstood. The account to which I refer is as +follows: + +"Then was Jesus led up of the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted +of the devil. And when the tempter came to him, he said: 'If thou be +the son of God command that these stones be made bread.' But he +answered, and said 'It is written: man shall not live by bread alone, +but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.' Then the +devil taketh him up into the holy city and setteth him upon a pinnacle +of the temple and saith unto him: 'If thou be the son of God, cast +thyself down, for it is written. He shall give his angels charge +concerning thee, lest at any time thou shalt dash thy foot against a +stone.' Jesus said unto him 'It is written again, thou shalt not tempt +the Lord thy God.' Again the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high +mountain and showeth him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory of +them, and saith unto him 'All these will I give thee if thou wilt fall +down and worship me.'" + +The Christians now claim that Jesus was God. If he was God, of course +the devil knew that fact, and yet, according to this account, the devil +took the omnipotent God and placed him upon a pinnacle of the temple, +and endeavored to induce him to dash himself against the earth. Failing +in that, he took the creator, owner and governor of the universe up into +an exceeding high mountain, and offered him this world--this grain of +sand--if he, the God of all the worlds, would fall down and worship him, +a poor devil, without even a tax title to one foot of dirt! Is it +possible the devil was such an idiot? Should any great credit be given +to this deity for not being caught with such chaff? Think of it! The +devil--the prince of sharpers--the king of cunning--the master of +finesse, trying to bribe God with a grain of sand that belonged to God! + +Is there in ail the religious literature of the world any thing more +grossly absurd than this? + +These devils, according to the bible, were various kinds--some could +speak and hear, others were deaf and dumb. All could not be cast out in +the same way. The deaf and dumb spirits were quite difficult to deal +with. St. Mark tells of a gentleman who brought his son to Christ. The +boy, it seems, was possessed of a dumb spirit, over which the disciples +had no control. "Jesus said unto the spirit: 'Thou dumb and deaf +spirit. I charge thee come out of him, and enter no more into him.'" +Whereupon, the deaf spirit having heard what was said, cried out (being +dumb) and immediately vacated the premises. The ease with which Christ +controlled this deaf and dumb spirit excited the wonder of his +disciples, and they asked him privately why they could not cast that +spirit out. To whom he replied: "This kind can come forth by nothing +but prayer and fasting." Is there a Christian in the whole world who +would believe such a story if found in any other book? The trouble is, +these pious people shut up their reason, and then open their bible. + +In the olden times the existence of devils was universally admitted. The +people had no doubt upon that subject, and from such belief it followed +as a matter of course, that a person, in order to vanquish these devils, +had either to be a god, or to be assisted by one. All founders of +religions have established their claims to divine origin by controlling +evil spirits--and suspending the laws of nature. Casting out devils was +a certificate of divinity. A prophet, unable to cope with the powers of +darkness, was regarded with contempt. The utterance of the highest and +noblest sentiments, the most blameless and holy life, commanded but +little respect, unless accompanied by power to work miracles and command +spirits. + +This belief in good and evil powers had its origin in the fact that man +was surrounded by what he was pleased to call good and evil phenomena. +Phenomena affecting man pleasantly were ascribed to good spirits, while +those affecting him unpleasantly or injuriously, were ascribed to evil +spirits. It being admitted that all phenomena were produced by spirits, +the spirits were divided according to the phenomena, and the phenomena +were good or bad as they affected man. Good spirits were supposed to be +the authors of good phenomena, and evil spirits of the evil--so that the +idea of a devil has been as universal as the idea of a god. + +Many writers maintain that an idea to become universal must be true; +that all universal ideas are innate, and that innate ideas cannot be +false. If the fact that an idea has been universal proves that it is +innate, and if the fact that an idea is innate proves that it is +correct, then the believer in innate ideas must admit that the evidence +of a god superior to nature, and of a devil superior to nature, is +exactly the same, and that the existence of such a devil must be as +self-evident as the existence of such a god. The truth is, a god was +inferred from good, and a devil from bad, phenomena. And it is just as +natural and logical to suppose that a devil would cause happiness as to +suppose that a god would produce misery. Consequently, if an +intelligence, infinite and supreme, is the immediate author of all +phenomena, it is difficult to determine whether such intelligence is the +friend or enemy of man. If phenomena were all good, we might say they +were all produced by a perfectly beneficent being. If they were all +bad, we, might say they were produced by a perfectly malevolent power; +but as phenomena are, as they affect man, both good and bad, they must +be produced by different and antagonistic spirits; by one who is +sometimes actuated by kindness, and sometimes by malice; or all must be +produced of necessity, and without reference to their consequences upon +man. + +The foolish doctrine that all phenomena can be traced to the +interference of good and evil spirits, has been, and still is, almost +universal. That most people still believe in some spirit that can +change the natural order of events, is proven by the fact that nearly +all resort to prayer. Thousands, at this very moment, are probably +imploring some supposed power to interfere in their behalf. Some want +health restored; some ask that the loved and absent be watched over and +protected, some pray for riches, some for rain, some want diseases +stayed, some vainly ask for food, some ask for revivals, a few ask for +more wisdom, and now and then one tells the Lord to do as he thinks +best. Thousands ask to be protected from the devil; some, like David, +pray for revenge, and some implore, even God, not to lead them into +temptation. All these prayers rest upon, and are produced by the idea +that some power not only can, but probably will, change the order of the +universe. This belief has been among the great majority of tribes and +nations. All sacred books are filled with the accounts of such +interferences, and our own bible is no exception to this rule. + +If we believe in a power superior to nature, it is perfectly natural to +suppose that such power can and will interfere in the affairs of this +world. If there is no interference, of what practical use can such +power be? The scriptures give us the most wonderful accounts of divine +interference: Animals talk like men; springs gurgle from dry bones; +the sun and moon stop in the heavens in order that General Joshua may +have more time to murder; the shadow on a dial goes back ten degrees to +convince a petty king of a barbarous people that he is not going to die +of a boil; fire refused to burn; water positively declined to seek its +level, but stands up like a wall; grains of sand become lice; common +walking-sticks, to gratify a mere freak, twist themselves into serpents, +and then swallow each other by way of exercise; murmuring streams, +laughing at the attraction of gravitation, run up hill for years, +following wandering tribes from a pure love of frolic; prophecy becomes +altogether easier than history; the sons of God become enamored of the +world's girls; women are changed into salt for the purpose of keeping a +great event fresh in the minds of man; an excellent article of +brimstone is imported from heaven free of duty; clothes refuse to wear +out for forty years, birds keep restaurants and feed wandering prophets +free of expense; bears tear children in pieces for laughing at old men +without wigs; muscular development depends upon the length of one's +hair; dead people come to life, simply to get a joke on their enemies +and heirs; witches and wizards converse freely with the souls of the +departed, and God himself becomes a stone-cutter and engraver, after +having been a tailor and dressmaker. + +The veil between heaven and earth was always rent or lifted. The +shadows of this world, the radiance of heaven, and the glare of hell +mixed and mingled until man became uncertain as to which country he +really inhabited. Man dwelt in an unreal world. He mistook his ideas, +his dream, for real things. His fears became terrible and malicious +monsters. He lived in the midst of furies and fairies, nymphs and +naiads, goblins and ghosts, witches and wizards, sprites and spooks, +deities and devils. The obscure and gloomy depths were filled with claw +and wing--with beak and hoof--with leering look and sneering mouths-- +with the malice of deformity--with the cunning of hatred, and with all +the slimy forms that fear can draw and paint upon the shadowy canvas of +the dark. + +It is enough to make one almost insane with pity to think what man in +the long night has suffered: of the tortures he has endured, +surrounded, as he supposed, by malignant powers and clutched by the +fierce phantoms of the air. No wonder that he fell upon his trembling +knees--that he built altars and reddened them even with his own blood. +No wonder that he implored ignorant priests and impudent magicians for +aid. No wonder that he crawled groveling in the dust to the temple's +door, and there, in the insanity of despair, besought the deaf gods to +hear his bitter cry of agony and fear. + +The savage as he emerges from a state of barbarism, gradually loses +faith in his idols of wood and stone, and in their place puts a +multitude of spirits. As he advances in knowledge, he generally +discards the petty spirits, and in their stead believes in one, whom he +supposes to be infinite and supreme. Supposing this great spirit to be +superior to nature, he offers worship or flattery in exchange for +assistance. At last, finding that he obtains no aid from this supposed +deity--finding that every search after the absolute must of necessity +end in failure--finding that man cannot by any possibility conceive of +the conditionless--he begins to investigate the facts by which he is +surrounded, and to depend upon himself. + +The people are beginning to think, to reason and to investigate. Slowly, +painfully, but surely, the gods are being driven from the earth. Only +upon rare occasions are they, even by the most religious, supposed to +interfere in the affairs of men. In most matters we are at last +supposed to be free. Since the invention of steamships and railways, so +that the products of all countries can be easily interchanged, the gods +have quit the business of producing famine. Now and then they kill a +child because it is idolized by its parents. As a rule they have given +up causing accidents on railroads, exploding boilers, and bursting +kerosene lamps. Cholera, yellow fever, and smallpox are still +considered heavenly weapons; but measles, itch and ague are now +attributed to natural causes. As a general thing, the gods have stopped +drowning children, except as a punishment for violating the Sabbath. +They still pay some attention to the affairs of kings, men of genius and +persons of great wealth: but ordinary people are left to shirk for +themselves as best they may. In wars between great nations, the gods +still interfere; but in prize fights, the best man with an honest +referee, is almost sure to win. + +The church cannot abandon the idea of special providence. To give up +that doctrine is to give up all. The church must insist that prayer is +answered--that some power superior to nature hears and grants the +request of the sincere and humble Christian, and that this same power in +some mysterious way provides for all. + +A devout Clergyman sought every opportunity to impress upon the mind of +his son the fact, that God takes care of all his creatures; that the +falling sparrow attracts his attentions, and that his loving kindness is +over all his works. Happening, one day, to see a crane wading in quest +of food, the good man pointed out to his son the perfect adaptation of +the crane to get his living in that manner. "See," said he, "how his +legs are formed for wading! What a long slender bill he has! Observe +how nicely he folds his feet when putting them in or drawing them out of +the water! He does not cause the slightest ripple. He is thus enabled +to approach the fish without giving them any notice of his arrival." +"My son," said he, "it is impossible to look at that bird without +recognizing the design, as well as the goodness of God, in thus +providing the means of subsistence." "Yes" replied the boy, "I think I +see the goodness of God, at least so far as the crane is concerned: but +after all, father, don't you think the arrangement a little tough on the +fish?" + +Even the advanced religionist, although disbelieving in any great amount +of interference by the gods in this age of the world, still thinks that +in the beginning some god made the laws governing the universe. He +believes that in consequence of these laws a man can lift a greater +weight with than without a lever; that this god so made matter, and so +established the order of things, that--two bodies cannot occupy the same +space at the same time; so that a body once put in motion will keep +moving until it is stopped; so that it is a greater distance around than +across a circle; so that a perfect square has four equal sides, instead +of five or seven. He insists that it took a direct interposition of +providence to make the whole greater than a part, and that had it not +been for this power superior to nature, twice one might have been more +than twice two, and sticks and strings might have had only one end +apiece. Like the old Scotch divine, he thanks God that Sunday comes at +the end instead of in the middle of the week, and that death comes at +the close instead of at the commencement of life, thereby giving us time +to prepare for that holy day and that most solemn event. These religious +people see nothing but design everywhere, and personal, intelligent +interference in everything. They insist that the universe has been +created, and that the adaptation of means to ends is perfectly apparent. +They point us to the sunshine, to the flowers, to the April rain, and to +all there is of beauty and of use in the world. Did it ever occur to +them that a cancer is as beautiful in its development as is the reddest +rose? That what they are pleased to call the adaptation of means to +ends, is as apparent in the cancer as in the April rain? How beautiful +the process of digestion! By what ingenious methods the blood is +poisoned so that the cancer shall have food! By what wonderful +contrivances the entire system of man is made to pay tribute to this +divine and charming cancer! See by what admirable instrumentalities it +feeds itself from the surrounding, quivering, dainty flesh! See how it +gradually but surely expands and grows! By what marvelous mechanism it +is supplied with long and slender roots that reach out to the most +secret nerves of pain for sustenance and life! What beautiful colors it +presents! Seen through the microscope it is a miracle of order and +beauty. All the ingenuity of man cannot stop its growth. Think of the +amount of thought it must have required to invent a way by which the +life of one man might be given to produce one cancer? Is it possible to +look upon it and doubt that there is design in the universe, and that +the inventor of this wonderful cancer must be infinitely powerful, +ingenious and good? + +We are told that the universe was designed and created, and that it is +absurd to suppose that matter has existed from eternity, but that it is +perfectly self-evident that a god has. + +If a god created the universe, then there must have been a time when he +commenced to create. Back of that time there must have been an +eternity, during which there had existed nothing--absolutely nothing-- +except this supposed god. According to this theory, this god spent an +eternity, so to speak, in an infinite vacuum, and in perfect idleness. + +Admitting that a god did create the universe, the question then arises, +of what did he create it? It certainly was not made of nothing. +Nothing, considered in the light of a raw material, is a most decided +failure. It follows, then, that a god must have made the universe out +of himself, he being the only existence. The universe is material, and +if it was made of god, the god must have been material. With this very +thought in his mind, Anaximander of Miletus said: "Creation is the +decomposition of the infinite." + +It has been demonstrated that the earth would fall to the sun, only for +the fact that it is attracted by other worlds, and those worlds must be +attracted by other worlds still beyond them, and so on, without end. +This proves the material universe to be infinite. If an infinite +universe has been made out of an infinite god, how much of the god is +left? + +The idea of a creative deity is gradually being abandoned, and nearly +all truly scientific minds admit that matter must have existed from +eternity. It is indestructible, and the indestructible cannot be +created. It is the crowning glory of our century to have demonstrated +the indestructibility and the eternal persistence of force. Neither +matter nor force can be increased nor diminished. Force cannot exist +apart from matter. Matter exists only in connection with force, and +consequently a force apart from matter, and superior to nature, is a +demonstrated impossibility. + +Force, then, must have also existed from eternity, and could not have +been created. Matter in its countless forms, from dead earth to the +eyes of those we love, and force, in all its manifestations, from simple +motions to the grandest thought, deny creation and defy control. + +Thought is a form of force. We walk with the same force with which we +think. Man is an organism that changes several forms of force into +thought-force. Man is a machine into which we put what we call food, +and produce what we call thought. Think of that wonderful chemistry by +which bread was changed into the divine tragedy of Hamlet! + +A god must not only be material, but he must be an organism, capable of +changing other forms of force into thought-force. This is what we call +eating. Therefore, if the god thinks he must eat, that is to say, he +must of necessity have some means of supplying the force with which to +think. It is impossible to conceive of a being who can eternally impart +force to matter, and yet have no means of supplying the force thus +imparted. + +If neither matter nor force were created, what evidence have we, then, +of the existence of a power superior to nature? The theologian will +probably reply, "We have law and order, cause and effect, and beside +all this, matter could not have put itself in motion." + +Suppose, for the sake of an argument, that there is no being superior to +nature, and that matter and force have existed from eternity. Now +suppose that two atoms should come together, would there be an effect? +Yes. Suppose they came in exactly opposite directions with equal force, +they would be stopped, to say the least. This would be an effect. If +this is so, then you have matter, force and effect without a being +superior to nature. Now suppose that two other atoms, just like the +first two, should come together under precisely the same circumstances, +would not the effect be exactly the same? Yes. Like causes, producing +like effects, is what we mean by law and order. Then we have matter, +force, effect, law and order without a being superior to nature. Now, we +know that every effect must also be a cause, and that every cause must +be an effect. The atoms coming together did produce an effect, and as +every effect must also be a cause, the effect produced by the collision +of the atoms, must, as to something else, have been a cause. Then we +have matter, force, law, order, cause and effect without a being +superior to nature. Nothing is left for the supernatural but empty +space. His throne is a void, and his boasted realm is without matter, +without force, without law, without cause, and without effect. + +But what put all this matter in motion? If matter and force have +existed from eternity, then matter must have always been in motion. +There can be no force without motion. Force is forever active, and +there is, and there can be no cessation. If therefore, matter and force +have existed from eternity, so has motion. In the whole universe there +is not even one atom in a state of rest. + +A deity outside of nature exists in nothing, and is nothing. Nature +embraces with infinite arms all matter and all force. That which is +beyond her grasp is destitute of both, and can hardly be worth the +worship and adoration even of a man. + +There is but one way to demonstrate the existence of a power independent +of and superior to nature, and that is by breaking, if only for one +moment, the continuity of cause and effect. Pluck from the endless +chain of existence one little link; stop for one instant the grand +procession, and you have shown beyond all contradiction that nature has +a master. Change the fact, just for one second, that matter attracts +matter, and a god appears. + +The rudest savage has always known this fact, and for that reason always +demanded the evidence of miracle. The founder of a religion must be +able to turn water into wine--cure with a word the blind and lame, and +raise with a simple touch the dead to life. It was necessary for him to +demonstrate to the satisfaction of his barbarian disciple, that he was +superior to nature. In times of ignorance this was easy to do. The +credulity of the savage was almost boundless. To him the marvelous was +the beautiful, the mysterious was the sublime. Consequently, every +religion has for its foundation a miracle--that is to say, a violation +of nature--that is to say, a falsehood. + +No one, in the world's whole history, ever attempted to substantiate a +truth by a miracle. Truth scorns the assistance of miracle. Nothing but +falsehood ever attested itself by signs and wonders. No miracle ever was +performed, and no sane man ever thought he had performed one, and until +one is performed, there can be no evidence of the existence of any power +superior to, and independent of nature. + +The church wishes us to believe. Let the church, or one of its +intellectual saints, perform a miracle, and we will believe. We are +told that nature has a superior. Let this superior, for one single +instant, control nature, and we will admit the truth of your assertion. + +We have heard talk enough. We have listened to all the drowsy, +idealess, vapid sermons that we wish to hear. We have read your bible +and the works of your best minds. We have heard your prayers, your +solemn groans and your reverential amens. All these amount to less than +nothing. We beg at the doors of your churches for just one little fact. +We pass our hats along your pews and under your pulpits and implore you +for just one fact. We know all about your moldy wonders and your stale +miracles. We want this year's fact. We ask only one. Give us one +fact of charity. Your miracles are too ancient. The witnesses have +been dead for nearly two thousand years. Their reputations for "truth +and veracity" in the neighborhood where they resided is wholly unknown +to us. Give us a new miracle, and substantiate it by witnesses who +still have the cheerful habit of living in this world. Do not send us +to Jericho to hear the winding horns, nor put us in the fire with +Shadrach, Moshech, and Abednego. Do not compel us to navigate the sea +with Captain Jonah, nor dine with Mr. Ezekiel. There is no sort of use +in sending us fox-hunting with Samson. We have positively lost interest +in that little speech so eloquently delivered by Balaam's inspired +donkey. It is worse than useless to show us fishes with money in their +mouths, and call our attention to vast multitudes stuffing themselves +with five crackers and two sardines. We demand a new miracle and we +demand it now. Let the church furnish at least one, or forever after +hold her peace. + +In the olden time, the church, by violating the order of nature, proved +the existence of her God. At that time miracles were performed with the +most astonishing ease. They became so common that the church ordered +her priests to desist. And now this same church--the people having +found so little sense--admits, not only, that she cannot perform a +miracle, but insists--that absence of miracle--the steady, unbroken +march of cause and effect, proves the existence of a power superior to +nature. The fact is, however, that the indissoluble chain of cause and +effect proves exactly the contrary. + +Sir William Hamilton, one of the pillars of modern theology, in +discussing this very subject, uses the following language: "The +phenomena of matter taken by themselves, so far from warranting any +inference to the existence of a god, would on the contrary ground even +an argument to his negation. The phenomena of a material world are +subjected to immutable laws; are produced and reproduced in the same +invariable succession, and manifest only the blind force of mechanical +necessity." + +Nature is but an endless series of efficient causes. She cannot create, +but she eternally transforms. There was no beginning; and there can be +no end. + +The best minds, even in the religious world, admit that in material +nature there is no evidence of what they are pleased to call a god. They +find their evidence in the phenomena of intelligence, and very +innocently assert that intelligence is above, and in fact, opposed to +nature. They insist that man, at least, is a special creation; that he +had somewhere in his brain a divine spark, a little portion of the +"Great First Cause." They say that matter cannot produce thought; but +that thought can produce matter. They tell us that man has +intelligence, and therefore there must be an intelligence greater than +his. Why not say, God has intelligence, therefore there must be an +intelligence greater than his? So far as we know, there is no +intelligence apart from matter. We cannot conceive of thought, except +as produced within a brain. + +The science, by means of which they demonstrate the existence of an +impossible intelligence, and an incomprehensible power, is called +metaphysics or theology. The theologians admit that the phenomena of +matter tend, at least, to disprove the existence of any power superior +to nature, because in such phenomena we see nothing but an endless chain +of efficient causes--nothing but the force of a mechanical necessity. +They therefore appeal to what they denominate the phenomena of mind to +establish this superior power. + +The trouble is, that in the phenomena of mind we find the same endless +chain of efficient causes; the same mechanical necessity. Every thought +must have had an efficient cause. Every motive, every desire, every +fear, hope and dream must have been necessarily produced. There is no +room in the mind of a man for providence or change. The facts and +forces governing thought are as absolute as those governing the motions +of the planets. A poem is produced by the forces of nature, and is as +necessarily and naturally produced as mountains and seas. You will seek +in vain for a thought in man's brain without its efficient cause. Every +mental operation is the necessary result of certain facts and +conditions. Mental phenomena are considered more complicated than those +of matter, and consequently more mysterious. Being more mysterious, +they are considered better evidence of the existence of a god. No one +infers a god from the simple, from the known, from what is understood, +but from the complex, from the unknown and incomprehensible. Our +ignorance is God; what we know is science. + +When we abandon the doctrine that some infinite being created matter and +force, and enacted a code of laws for their government, the idea of +interference will be lost. The real priest will then be, not the mouth- +piece of some pretended deity, but the interpreter of nature. From that +moment the church ceases to exist. The tapers will die out upon the +dusty altar; the moths will eat the fading velvet of pulpit and pew; +the Bible will take its place with the Shastras, Puranas, Vedas, Eddas, +Sagas and Korans, and the fetters of a degrading faith will fall from +the minds of men. + +"But," says the religionist "you cannot explain everything; you cannot +understand everything; and that which you cannot explain, that which +you do not comprehend, is my god." + +We are explaining more every day. We are understanding more every day; +consequently your God is growing smaller every day. + +Nothing daunted, the religionist then insists that nothing can exist +without a cause, except cause, and that this uncaused cause is God. + +To this we again replied: Every cause must produce an effect, because +until it does produce an effect, it is not a cause. Every effect must +in its turn become a cause. Therefore, in the nature of things, there +cannot be a last cause, for the reason that a so-called last cause would +necessarily produce an effect, and that effect must of necessity become +a cause. The converse of these propositions must be true. Every effect +must have had a cause, and every cause must have been an effect. +Therefore, there could have been no first cause. A first cause is just +as impossible as a last effect. + +Beyond the universe there is nothing, and within the universe the +supernatural does not and cannot exist. + +The moment these great truths are understood and admitted, a belief in +general or special providence becomes impossible. From that instant men +will cease their vain efforts to please an imaginary being, and will +give their time and attention to the affairs of this world. They will +abandon the idea of attaining any object by prayer and supplication. +The element of uncertainty will, in a great measure, be removed from the +domain of the future, and man, gathering courage from a succession of +victories over the obstructions of nature, will attain a serene grandeur +unknown to the disciples of any superstition. The plans of mankind will +no longer be interfered with by the finger of a supposed omnipotence, +and no one will believe that nations or individuals are protected or +destroyed by any deity whatever. Science, freed from the chains of +pious custom and evangelical prejudice, will, within her sphere, be +supreme. The mind will investigate without reverence and publish its +conclusions without fear. Agassiz will no longer hesitate to declare +the Mosaic cosmogony utterly inconsistent with the demonstrated truths +of geology, and will cease pretending any reverence for the Jewish +scriptures. The moment science succeeds in rendering the church +powerless for evil, the real thinkers will be outspoken. The little +flags of truce carried by timid philosophers will disappear, and the +cowardly parley will give place to victory lasting and universal. + +If we admit that some infinite being has controlled the destinies of +persons and people, history becomes a most cruel and bloody farce. Age +after age, the strong have trampled upon the weak; the crafty and +heartless have ensnared and enslaved the simple and innocent, and +nowhere, in all the annals of mankind, has any god succored the +oppressed. + +Man should cease to expect aid from on high. By this time he should +know that heaven has no ear to hear, and no hand to help. The present is +the necessary child of all the past. There has been no chance, and +there can be no interference. + +If abuses are destroyed, man must destroy them. If slaves are freed, +man must free them. If new truths are discovered, man must discover +them. If the naked are clothed; if the hungry are fed; if justice is +done; if labor is rewarded; if superstition is driven from the mind, +if the defenseless are protected, and if the right finally triumphs, all +must be the work of man. The grand victories of the future must be won +by man, and by man alone. + +Nature, so far as we can discern, without passion and without intention, +forms, transforms, and retransforms forever. She neither weeps nor +rejoices. She produces man without purpose, and obliterates him without +regret. She knows no distinction between the beneficial and the +hurtful. Poison and nutrition, pain and joy, life and death, smiles and +tears are alike to her. She is neither merciful nor cruel. She cannot +be flattered by worship nor melted by tears. She does not know even the +attitude of prayer. She appreciates no difference between poison in the +fangs of snakes and mercy in the hearts of men. Only through man does +nature take cognizance of the good, the true, and the beautiful; and, +so far as we know, man is the highest intelligence. + +And yet man continues to believe that there is some power independent of +and superior to nature, and still endeavors, by form, ceremony, +supplication, hypocrisy, to obtain its aid. His best energies have been +wasted in the service of this phantom. The horrors of witchcraft were +all born of an ignorant belief in the existence of a totally depraved +being superior to nature, acting in perfect independence of her laws; +and all religious superstition has had for its basis a belief in at +least two beings, one good and the other bad, both of whom could +arbitrarily change the order of the universe. The history of religion +is simply the story of man's efforts in all ages to avoid one of these +powers and to pacify the other. Both powers have inspired little else +than abject fear. The cold, calculating sneer of the devil, and the +frown of God, were equally terrible. In any event, man's fate was to be +arbitrarily fixed forever by an unknown power superior to all law, and +to all fact. Until this belief is thrown aside, man must consider +himself the slave of phantom masters--neither of whom promise liberty in +this world nor in the next. + +Man must learn to rely upon himself. Reading bibles will not protect +him from the blasts of winter, but houses, fires, and clothing will. To +prevent famine, one plow is worth a million sermons, and even patent +medicines will cure more diseases than all the prayers uttered since the +beginning of the world. + +Although many eminent men have endeavored to harmonize necessity and +free will, the existence of evil, and the infinite power and goodness of +God, they have succeeded only in producing learned and ingenious +failures. Immense efforts have been made to reconcile ideas utterly +inconsistent with the facts by which we are surrounded, and all persons +who have failed to perceive the pretended reconciliation, have been +denounced as infidels, atheists and scoffers. The whole power of the +church has been brought to bear against philosophers and scientists in +order to compel a denial of the authority of demonstration,--and to +induce some Judas to betray Reason, one of the saviors of mankind. + +During that frightful period known as the "Dark Ages," Faith reigned, +with scarcely rebellious subject. Her temples were "carpeted with +knees," and the wealth of nations adorned her countless shrines. The +great painters prostituted their genius to immortalize her vagaries, +while the poets enshrined them in song. At her bidding, man covered the +earth with blood. The scales of justice were turned with gold, and for +her use were invented all the cunning instruments of pain. She built +cathedrals for God, and dungeons for men. She peopled the clouds with +angels and the earth with slaves. For centuries the world was retracing +its steps--going steadily back toward, barbaric night! A few infidels-- +a few heretics cried, "Halt!" to the great rabble of ignorant devotion, +and made it possible for the genius of the nineteenth century to +revolutionize the cruel creeds and superstitions of mankind. + +The thoughts of man, in order to be of any real worth, must be free. +Under the influence of fear the brain is paralyzed, and instead of +bravely solving a problem for itself, tremblingly adopts the solution of +another. As long as a majority of men will cringe to the very earth +before some petty prince or king, what must be the infinite abjectness +of their little souls in the presence of their supposed creator and God? +Under such circumstances, what can their thoughts be worth? + +The originality of repetition, and the mental vigor of acquiescence, are +all that we have any right to expect from the Christian world. As long +as every question is answered by the word "God," scientific inquiry is +simply impossible. As fast as phenomena are satisfactorily explained +the domain of the power, supposed to be superior to nature must +decrease, while the horizon of the known must as constantly continue to +enlarge. + +It is no longer satisfactory to account for the fall and rise of nations +by saying, "It is the will of God." Such an explanation puts ignorance +and education upon exact equality, and does away with the idea of really +accounting for anything whatever. + +Will the religionist pretend that the real end of science is to +ascertain how and why God acts? Science, from such a standpoint, would +consist in investigating the law of arbitrary action, and in a grand +endeavor to ascertain the rule necessarily obeyed by infinite caprice. + +From a philosophical point of view, science is knowledge of the laws of +life; of the condition of happiness; of the facts by which we are +surrounded, and the relations we sustain to men and things--by means of +which man, so to speak, subjugates nature and bends the elemental powers +to his will, making blind force the servant of his brain. + +A belief in special providence does away with the spirit of +investigation, and is inconsistent with personal efforts. Why should +man endeavor to thwart the designs of God? "Which of you, with taking +thought, can add to his stature one cubit?" Under the influence of this +belief, man, basking in the sunshine of a delusion, considers the lilies +of the field and refuses to take any thought for the morrow. Believing +himself in the power of an infinite being, who can, at any moment, dash +him to the lowest hell or raise him to the highest heaven, he +necessarily abandons the idea of accomplishing anything by his own +efforts. So long as this belief was general, the world was filled with +ignorance, superstition and misery. The energies of man were wasted in +a vain effort to obtain the aid of this power, supposed to be superior +to nature. For countless ages, even men were sacrificed upon the altar +of this impossible god. To please him, mothers have shed the blood of +their own babies; martyrs have chanted triumphant songs in the midst of +flames; priests have gorged themselves with blood; nuns have forsworn +the ecstasies of love; old men have tremblingly implored; women have +sobbed and entreated; every pain has been endured, and every horror has +been perpetrated. + +Through the dim long years that have fled, humanity has suffered more +than can be conceived. Most of the misery has been endured by the weak, +the loving and the innocent. Women have been treated like poisonous +beasts, and little children trampled upon as though they had been +vermin. Numberless altars have been reddened, even with the blood of +babies; beautiful girls have been given to slimy serpents; whole races +of men doomed to centuries of slavery, everywhere there has been outrage +beyond the power of genius to express. During all these years the +suffering have supplicated; the withered lips of famine have prayed; +the pale victims have implored, and heaven has been deaf and blind. + +Of what use have the gods been to man? + +It is no answer to say that some god created the world, established +certain laws, and then turned his attention to other matters, leaving +his children, weak, ignorant and unaided, to fight the battle of life +alone. It is no solution to declare that in some other world this god +will render a few or even all of his subjects happy. What right have we +to expect that a perfectly wise, good and powerful being will ever do +better than he has done, and is doing? The world is filled with +imperfections. If it was made by an infinite being, what reason have we +for saying that he will render it nearer perfect than it now is? If the +infinite Father allows a majority of his children to live in ignorance +and wretchedness now, what evidence is there that he will ever improve +their condition? Will god have more power? Will he become more +merciful? Will his love for his poor creatures increase? Can the +conduct of infinite wisdom, power and love ever change? Is the infinite +capable of any improvement whatever. + +We are informed by the clergy that this world is a kind of school; that +the evils by which we are surrounded are for the purpose of developing +our souls, and that only by suffering can men become pure, strong, +virtuous and grand. + +Supposing this to be true, what is to become of those who die in +infancy? The little children, according to this philosophy, can never +be developed. They were so unfortunate as to escape the ennobling +influences of pain and misery, and as a consequence, are doomed to an +eternity of mental inferiority. If the clergy are right on this +question, none are so unfortunate as the happy, and we should envy only +the suffering and distressed. If evil is necessary to the development +of man, in this life, how is it possible for the soul to improve in the +perfect joy of paradise? + +Since Paley found his watch, the argument of "design" has been relied +upon as unanswerable. The Church teaches that this world, and all that +it contains, were created substantially as we now see them, that the +grasses, the flowers, the trees, and all animals, including man, were +special creations, and that they sustain no necessary relation to each +other. The most orthodox will admit that some earth has been washed +into the sea, that the sea has encroached a little upon the land, and +that some mountains may be a trifle lower than in the morning of +creation. The theory of gradual development was unknown to our fathers; +the idea of evolution did not occur to them. Our fathers looked upon +the then arrangement of things as the primal arrangement. The earth +appeared to them fresh from the hands of a deity. They knew nothing of +the slow evolutions of countless years, but supposed that the almost +infinite variety of vegetable and animal forms had existed from the +first. + +Suppose that upon some island we should find a man a million years of +age, and suppose that we should find him in the possession of a most +beautiful carriage, constructed upon the most perfect model. And suppose +further, that he should tell us that it was the result of several +hundred thousand years of labor and of thought; that for fifty thousand +years he used as flat a log as he could find, before it occurred to him +that by splitting the log he could have the same surface with only half +the weight; that it took him many thousand years to invent wheels for +this log; that the wheels he first used were solid, and that fifty +thousand years of thought suggested the use of spokes and tire; that +for many centuries he used the wheels without linch-pins: that it took +a hundred thousand years more to think of using four wheels, instead of +two; that for ages he walked behind the carriage, when going down hill, +in order to hold it back, and that only by a lucky chance he invented +the tongue; would we conclude that this man, from the very first, had +been an infinitely ingenious and perfect mechanic? Suppose we found him +living in an elegant mansion, and he should inform us that he lived in +that house for five hundred thousand years before he thought of putting +on a roof, and that he had but recently invented windows and doors; +would we say that from the beginning he had been an infinite +accomplished and scientific architect. + +Does not an improvement in the things created, show the corresponding +improvement in the creator? + +Would an infinitely wise, good and powerful God, intending to produce +man, commence with the lowest possible forms of life; with the simplest +organism that can be imagined, and during immeasurable periods of time, +slowly and almost imperceptibly improve upon the rude beginning, until +man was evolved? Would countless ages thus be wasted in the production +of awkward forms, afterward abandoned? Can the intelligence of man +discover the least wisdom in covering the earth with crawling, creeping +horrors, that live only upon the agonies and pangs of others? Can we +see the propriety of so constructing the earth, that only an +insignificant portion of its surface is capable of producing an +intelligent man? Who can appreciate the mercy of so making the world +that all animals devour animals? so that every mouth is a slaughter- +house, and every stomach a tomb? Is it possible to discover infinite +intelligence and love in universal and eternal carnage? + +What would we think of a father, who should give a farm to his children, +and before giving them possession should plant upon it thousands of +deadly shrubs and vines; should stock it with ferocious beasts; and +poisonous reptiles; should take pains to put a few swamps in the +neighborhood to breed malaria; should so arrange matters, that the +ground would occasionally open and swallow a few of his darlings, and +besides all this, should establish a few volcanoes in the immediate +vicinity, that might at any moment overwhelm his children with rivers of +fire? Suppose that this father neglected to tell his children which of +the plants were deadly; that the reptiles were poisonous; failed to +say anything about the earthquakes, and kept the volcano business a +profound secret; would we pronounce him angel or fiend? + +And yet this is exactly what the orthodox God has done. + +According to the theologians, God prepared this globe expressly for the +habitation of his loved children, and yet he filled the forests with +ferocious beasts; placed serpents in every path; stuffed the world with +earthquakes, and adorned its surface with mountains of flame. + +Notwithstanding all this, we are told that the world is perfect; that it +was created by a perfect being, and is therefore necessarily perfect. +The next moment, these same persons will tell us that the world was +cursed; covered with brambles, thistles and thorns, and that man was +doomed to disease and death, simply because our poor, dear mother ate an +apple contrary to the command of an arbitrary God. + +A very pious friend of mine, having heard that I had said the world was +full of imperfections, asked me if the report was true. Upon being +informed that it was, he expressed great surprise that any one could be +guilty of such presumption. He said that, in his judgment, it was +impossible to point out an imperfection. "Be kind enough," said he, "to +name even one improvement that you could make, if you had the power." +"Well," said I, "I would make good health catching, instead of disease." + +The truth is, it is impossible to harmonize all the ills, and pains, and +agonies of this world with the idea that we were created by, and are +watched over and protected by an infinitely wise, powerful and +beneficent God, who is superior to and independent of nature. + +The clergy, however, balance all the real ills of this life with the +expected joys of the next. We are assured that all is perfection in +heaven--there the skies are cloudless--there all is serenity and peace. +Here empires may be overthrown; dynasties may be extinguished in blood; +millions of slaves may toil 'neath the fierce rays of the sun, and the +cruel strokes of the lash; yet all is happiness in heaven. Pestilence +may strew the earth with corpses of the loved; the survivors may bend +above them in agony--yet the placid bosom of heaven is unruffled. +Children may expire vainly asking for bread; babies may be devoured by +serpents, while the gods sit smiling in the clouds. The innocent may +languish unto death in the obscurity of dungeons; brave men and heroic +women may be changed to ashes at the bigot's stake, while heaven is +filled with song and joy. Out on the wide sea, in darkness and in storm, +the shipwrecked struggle with the cruel waves, while the angels play +upon their golden harps. The streets of the world are filled with the +diseased, the deformed and the helpless; the chambers of pain are +crowded with the pale forms of the suffering, while the angels float and +fly in the happy realms of day. In heaven they are too happy to have +sympathy; too busy singing to aid the imploring and distressed. Their +eyes are blinded; their ears are stopped and their hearts are turned to +stone by the infinite selfishness of joy. The saved mariner is too +happy when he touches the shore to give a moment's thought to his +drowning brothers. With the indifference of happiness, with the +contempt of bliss, heaven barely glances at the miseries of earth. +Cities are devoured by the rushing lava; the earth opens and thousands +perish; women raise their clasped hands towards heaven, but the gods +are too happy to aid their children. The smiles of the deities are +unacquainted with the tears of men. The shouts of heaven drown the sobs +of earth. + +Having shown how man created gods, and how he became the trembling slave +of his own creation, the questions naturally arise: How did he free +himself even a little, from these monarchs of the sky, from these +despots of the clouds, from this aristocracy of the air? How did he, +even to the extent that he has, outgrow his ignorant, abject terror, and +throw off, the yoke of superstition? + +Probably, the first thing that tended to disabuse his mind was the +discovery of order, of regularity, of periodicity in the universe. From +this he began to suspect that everything did not happen purely with +reference to him. He noticed, that whatever he might do, the motions of +the planets were always the same; that eclipses were periodical, and +that even comets came at certain intervals. This convinced him that +eclipses and comets had nothing to do with him, and that his conduct had +nothing to do with them. He perceived that they were not caused for his +benefit or injury. He thus learned to regard them with admiration +instead of fear. He began to suspect that famine was not sent by some +enraged and revengeful deity but resulted often from the neglect and +ignorance of man. He learned that diseases were not produced by evil +spirits. He found that sickness was occasioned by natural causes, and +would be cured by natural means. He demonstrated, to his own +satisfaction at least, that prayer is not a medicine. He found by sad +experience that his gods were of no practical use, as they never +assisted him, except when he was perfectly able to help himself. At +last, he began to discover that his individual action had nothing +whatever to do with strange appearances in the heavens; that it was +impossible for him to be bad enough to cause a whirlwind, or good enough +to stop one. After many centuries of thought, he about half concluded +that making mouths at a priest would not necessarily cause an +earthquake. He noticed, and no doubt with considerable astonishment, +that very good men were occasionally struck by lightning, while very bad +ones escaped. He was frequently forced to the painful conclusion (and +it is the most painful to which any human being ever was forced) that +the right did not always prevail. He noticed that the gods did not +interfere in behalf of the weak and innocent. He was now and then +astonished by seeing an unbeliever in the enjoyment of most excellent +health. He finally ascertained that there could be no possible +connection between an unusually severe winter and his failure to give +sheep to a priest. He began to suspect that the order of the universe +was not constantly being changed to assist him because he repeated a +creed. He observed that some children would steal after having been +regularly baptized. He noticed a vast difference between religions and +justice, and that the worshipers of the same God took delight in cutting +each other's throats. He saw that these religious disputes filled the +world with hatred and slavery. At last be had the courage to suspect, +that no God at any time interferes with the order of events. He learned +a few facts, and these facts positively refused to harmonize with the +ignorant superstitions of his fathers. Finding his sacred books +incorrect and false in some particulars, his faith in their authenticity +began to be shaken; finding his priests ignorant on some points, he +began to lose respect for the cloth. This was the commencement of +intellectual freedom. + +The civilization of man has increased just to the same extent that +religious power has decreased. The intellectual advancement of man +depends upon how often he can exchange an old superstition for a new +truth. The Church never enabled a human being to make even one of these +exchanges; on the contrary, all her power has been used to prevent +them. In spite, however, of the Church, man found that some of his +religious conceptions were wrong. By reading his bible, he found that +the ideas of his God were more cruel and brutal than those of the most +depraved savage. He also discovered that this holy book was filled with +ignorance, and that it must have been written by persons wholly +unacquainted with the nature of the phenomena by which we are +surrounded; and now and then, some man had the goodness and courage to +speak his honest thoughts. In every age some thinker, some doubter, +some investigator, some hater of hypocrisy, some despiser of sham, some +brave lover of the right, has gladly, proudly and heroically braved the +ignorant fury of superstition for the sake of man and truth. These +divine men were generally torn in pieces by the worshipers of the gods. +Socrates was poisoned because he lacked reverence for some of the +deities. Christ was crucified by the religious rabble for the crime of +blasphemy. Nothing is more gratifying to a religionist than to destroy +his enemies at the command of God. Religious persecution springs from a +due admixture of love towards God and hatred towards man. + +The terrible religious wars that inundated the world with blood tended +at least to bring all religion into disgrace and hatred. Thoughtful +people began to question the divine origin of a religion that made its +believers hold the rights of others in absolute contempt. A few began +to compare Christianity with the religions of heathen people, and were +forced to admit that the difference was hardly worth dying for. They +also found that other nations were even happier and more prosperous than +their own. They began to suspect, that their religion, after all, was +not of much real value. + +For three hundred years the Christian world endeavored to rescue from +the "Infidel" the empty sepulchre of Christ. For three hundred years +the armies of the cross were baffled and beaten by the victorious hosts +of an impudent impostor. This immense fact sowed the seeds of distrust +throughout all Christendom, and millions began to lose confidence in a +God who had been vanquished by Mohammed. The people also found that +commerce made friends where religion made enemies, and that religious +zeal was utterly incompatible with peace between nations or individuals. +The discovered that those who loved the gods most were apt to love men +least; that the arrogance of universal forgiveness was amazing; that +the most malicious had the effrontery to pray for their enemies, and +that humility and tyranny were the fruit of the same tree. + +For ages, a deadly conflict has been waged between a few brave men and +women of thought and genius upon the one side, and the great ignorant +religious mass on the other. This is the war between Science and Faith. +The few have appealed to reason, to honor, to law, to freedom, to the +known, and to happiness here in this world. The many have appealed to +prejudice, to fear, to miracle, to slavery, to the unknown, and to +misery hereafter. The few have said, "Think!" The many have said, +"Believe!" + +The first doubt was the womb and cradle of progress, and from the first +doubt, man has continued to advance. Men began to investigate, and the +church began to oppose. The astronomer scanned the heavens, while the +church branded his grand forehead with the word, "Infidel"; and now, not +a glittering star in all the vast expanse bears a Christian name. In +spite of all religion, the geologist penetrated the earth, read her +history in books of stone, and found hidden within her bosom, souvenirs +of all the ages. Old ideas perished in the retort of the chemist, +useful truths took their places. One by one religious conceptions have +been placed in the crucible of science, and thus far, nothing but dross +has been found. A new world has been discovered by the microscope; +everywhere has been found the infinite; in every direction man has +investigated and explored, and nowhere, in earth or stars, has been +found the footstep of any being superior to or independent of nature. +Nowhere has been discovered the slightest evidence of any interference +from without. These are the sublime truths that enable man to throw off +the yoke of superstition. These are the splendid facts that snatched +the sceptre of authority from the hands of priests. + +In the vast cemetery called the past are most of the religions of men, +and there, too, are nearly all their gods. The sacred temples of India +were ruins long ago. Over column and cornice; over the painted and +pictured walls, cling and creep the trailing vines. Brahma, the golden, +with four heads and four arms; Vishnu, the sombre, the punisher of the +wicked, with his three eyes, his crescent, and his necklace of skulls; +Siva, the destroyer, red with seas of blood; Kali, the goddess; +Draupadi, the white-armed, and Chrishna, the Christ, all passed away and +left the thrones of heaven desolate. Along the banks of the sacred +Nile, Isis no longer wandering weeps, searching for the dead Osiris. +The shadow of Typhon's scowl falls no more upon the waves. The sun +rises as of yore, and his golden beams still smite the lips of Memnon, +but Memnon is as voiceless as the Sphinx. The sacred fanes are lost in +desert sands; the dusty mummies are still waiting for the resurrection +promised by their priests, and the old beliefs, wrought in curiously +sculptured stone, sleep in the mystery of a language lost and dead. +Odin, the author of life and soul, Vili and Ve, and the mighty giant +Ymir, strode long ago from the icy halls of the North; and Thor, with +iron glove and glittering hammer, dashes mountains to the earth no more. +Broken are the circles and cromlechs of the ancient Druids; fallen upon +the summits of the hills, and covered with the centuries' moss, are the +sacred cairns. The divine fires of Persia and of the Aztecs, have died +out in the ashes of the past, and there is none to rekindle, and none to +feed the holy flames. The harp of Orpheus is still; the drained cup of +Bacchus has been thrown aside; Venus lies dead in stone, and her white +bosom heaves no more with love. The streams still murmur, but no naiads +bathe; the trees still wave, but in the forest aisles no dryads dance. +The gods have flown from high Olympus. Not even the beautiful women can +lure them back, and Danee lies unnoticed, naked to the stars. Hushed +forever are the thunders of Sinai; lost are the voices of the prophets, +and the land once flowing with milk and honey is but a desert and waste. + +One by one, the myths have faded from the clouds; one by one, the +phantom host has disappeared, and one by one facts, truths and realities +have taken their places. The supernatural has almost gone, but the +natural remains. The gods have fled, but man is here. + +Nations, like individuals, have their periods of youth, of manhood and +decay. Religions are the same. The same inexorable destiny awaits them +all. The gods created by the nations must perish with their creators. +They were created by men, and like men, they must pass away. The +deities of one age are the by-words of the next. The religion of one day +and country, is no more exempt from the sneer of the future than others +have been. When India was supreme, Brahma sat upon the world's throne. +When the scepter passed to Egypt, Isis and Osiris received the homage of +mankind. Greece, with her fierce valor, swept to empire, and Zeus put +on the purple of authority. The earth trembled with the tread of Rome's +intrepid sons, and Jove grasped with mailed hand the thunderbolts of +heaven. Rome fell, and Christians from her territory, with the red sword +of war, carved out the ruling nations of the world, and now Christ sits +upon the old throne. Who will be his successor? + +Day by day, religious conceptions grow less and less intense. Day by +day, the old spirit dies out of book and creed. The burning enthusiasm, +the quenchless zeal of the early church have gone, never, never to +return. The ceremonies remain, but the ancient faith is fading out of +the human heart. The worn out arguments fail to convince, and +denunciations that once blanched the faces of a race, excite in us only +derision and disgust. As time rolls on, the miracles grow mean and +small, and the evidences our fathers thought conclusive utterly fail to +satisfy us. There is an "irrepressible conflict" between religion and +science, and they cannot peaceably occupy the same brain nor the same +world. + +While utterly discarding all creeds, and denying the truth of all +religions, there is neither in my heart nor upon my lips a sneer for the +hopeful, loving and tender souls who believe that from all this discord +will result a perfect harmony; that every evil will in some mysterious +way become a good, and that above and over all there is a being who, in +some way, will reclaim and glorify everyone of the children of men; but +for those who heartlessly try to prove that salvation is almost +impossible; that damnation is almost certain; that the highway of the +universe leads to hell; who fill life with fear and death with horror; +who curse the cradle and mock the tomb, it is impossible to entertain +other than feelings of pity, contempt and scorn. + +Reason, Observation and Experience--the Holy Trinity of Science--have +taught us that happiness is the only good; that the time to be happy is +now, and the way to be happy is to make others so. This is enough for +us. In this belief we are content to live and die. If by any +possibility the existence of a power superior to, and independent of, +nature shall be demonstrated, there will then be time enough to kneel. +Until then, let us stand erect. + +Notwithstanding the fact that infidels in all ages have battled for the +rights of man, and have at all times been the fearless advocates of +liberty and justice, we are constantly charged by the Church with +tearing down without building again. The Church should by this time +know that it is utterly impossible to rob men of their opinions. The +history of religious persecutions fully establishes the fact that the +mind necessarily resists and defies every attempt to control it by +violence. The mind necessarily clings to old ideas until prepared for +the new. The moment we comprehend the truth, all erroneous ideas are of +necessity cast aside. + +A surgeon once called upon a poor cripple and kindly offered to render +him any assistance in his power. The surgeon began to discourse very +learnedly upon the nature and origin of disease; of the curative +properties of certain medicines; of the advantages of exercise, air and +light, and of the various ways in which health and strength could be +restored. These remarks were so full of good sense, and discovered so +much profound thought and accurate knowledge, that the cripple, becoming +thoroughly alarmed, cried out, "Do not, I pray you, take away my +crutches. They are my only support, and without them, I should be +miserable, indeed." "I am not going," said the surgeon, "to take away +your crutches. I am going to cure you, and then you will throw the +crutches away yourself." + +For the vagaries of the clouds, the infidels propose to substitute the +realities of the earth; for superstition, the splendid demonstrations +and achievements of science; and for the theological tyranny, the +chainless liberty of thought. + +We do not say we have discovered all; that our doctrines are the all in +all in truth. We know of no end to the development of man. We cannot +unravel the infinite complications of matter and force. The history of +one monad is as unknown as that of the universe; one drop of water is as +wonderful as all the seas; one leaf, as all the forests; and one grain +of sand, as all the stars. + +We are not endeavoring to chain the future, but to free the present. We +are not forgoing fetters for our children, but we are breaking those our +fathers made for us. We are the advocates of inquiry, of investigation +and thought. This of itself, is an admission that we are not perfectly +satisfied with all our conclusions. Philosophy has not the egotism of +faith. While superstition builds walls and creates obstructions, +science opens all the highways of thought. We do not pretend to have +circumnavigated everything, and to have solved all difficulties, but we +do believe that it is better to love men than to fear gods, that it is +grander and nobler to think and investigate for yourself than to repeat +a creed. We are satisfied that there can be but little liberty on earth +while men worship a tyrant in heaven. We do not expect to accomplish +everything in our day; but we want to do what good we can, and to +render all the service possible in the holy cause of human progress. We +know that doing away with gods and supernatural persons and powers is +not an end. It is a means to an end; the real end being the happiness +of man. + +Felling forests is not the end of agriculture. Driving pirates from the +sea is not all there is of commerce. + +We are laying the foundations of a grand temple of the future--not the +temple of all the gods, but of all the people--wherein, with appropriate +rites, will be celebrated the religion of Humanity. We are doing what +little we can to hasten the coming of the day when society shall cease +producing millionaires and mendicants--gorged indolence and famished +industry--truth in rags, and superstition robed and crowned. We are +looking for the time when the useful shall be the honorable; and when +REASON, throned upon the world's brain, shall be the King of Kings, and +God of Gods. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON GHOSTS. + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: In the first place, allow me to tender my sincere +thanks to the clergy of this city. I feel that I am greatly indebted to +them for this magnificent audience. It has been said, and I believe it +myself, that there is a vast amount of intolerance in the church of +today, but when twenty-four clergymen, three of whom, I believe, are +bishops, act as my advance agents, without expecting any remuneration, +or reward in this world, I must admit that perhaps I was mistaken on the +question of intolerance. And I will say, further, that against those +men I have not the slightest feeling in the world; every man is the +product of his own surroundings; he is the product of every +circumstance that has ever touched him; he is the product to a certain +degree of the religion and creed of his day, and when men show the +slightest intolerance I blame the creed, I blame the religion, I blame +the superstition that forced them to do so. I do not blame those men. + +Allow me to say, further, that this world is not, in my judgment, yet +perfect. I am doing, in a very feeble way, to be sure, but I am still +endeavoring, according to my Idea, to make this world just a little +better; to give a little more liberty to men, a little more liberty to +women. I believe in the government of kindness; I believe in truth, in +investigation, in free thought. I do not believe that the hand of want +will be eternally extended in the world; I do not believe that the +prison will forever scar the ground; I do not believe that the shadow +of the gallows will forever curse the earth; I do not believe that it +will always be true that the men who do the most work will have the +least to wear and the least to eat. I do believe that the time will +come when liberty and morality and justice, like the rings of Saturn, +will surround the world; that the world will be better, and every true +man and every free man will do what he can to hasten the coming of the +religion of human advancement. + +I understand that for the thousands and thousands of years that have +gone by, all questions have been settled by religion. I understand that +during all this time the people have gotten their information from the +sacerdotal class--from priests. I know that when India was supreme they +worshipped Brahma and Vishnu, and that when Rome held in its hand the +red sword of war they worshipped Jove, and I know now that our religion +has swept to the top. Any man living in India a few hundred or thousand +years ago would have said, this is the only true religion. Why? +Because here is the only true civilization. A man afterward living in +Egypt would have said, this is the only true religion, because we have +the best civilization; a Greek in Athens would have said this is the only +true religion, and a Roman would have said we have the true religion, +and now those religions all having died, although they were all true +religions, we say ours is the only religion, because we are the greatest +commercial nation in the world. + +There will come other nations; there will come other religions. Man has +made every religion in this world, in my judgment, and the religion, has +been good or bad according as the men who made it were good or bad. If +they were savages and barbarians, they made a God like the Jehovah of +the Jews; if they were civilized, if they were kind and tender, they +filled the heavens with kindness and love. Every man makes his own God. +Show me the God a man worships, and I will tell you what kind of a man +he is. Every one makes his own God, every one worships his own God; and +if you are a civilized man you will have a civilized God, and we have +been civilizing ours for hundreds and hundreds of years. He is getting +better every day. + +I am going to tell you tonight just exactly what I think. The other +lecture I delivered here was my conservative lecture; this is my +radical one! We even hear it suggested that our religion, our Bible, +has given us all we have of prosperity and greatness and grandeur. I +deny it! We have become civilized in spite of it, and I will show you +tonight that the obstruction that every science has had is what we have +been pleased to call our religion--or superstition. I had a +conversation with a gentleman once--and these gentlemen are always +mistaking something that goes along with a thing for the cause of the +thing--and he stated to me that his particular religion was the cause of +all advancement. I said to him: "No, Sir; the causes of all +advancement, in my judgment, are plug hats and suspenders." And I said +to him: "You go to Turkey, where they are semi-barbarians, and you +won't find a pair of suspenders or a plug hat in all that country; you +go to Russia, and you will find now and then a pair of suspenders at +Moscow or St. Petersburg; you go on down till you strike Austria, and +black hats begin; then you go on to Paris, Berlin and New York, and you +will find everybody wears suspenders and everybody wears black hats. +Wherever you find education and music there you will find black hats and +suspenders." He said that any man who said to him that plug hats and +suspenders had done more for mankind than the Bible and religion he +would not talk to. + +As a matter of fact, we are controlled today by men who do not exist. We +are controlled today by phenomena that never did exist. We are +controlled by ghosts and dead men, and in the grasp of death is a +scepter that controls the living present. I propose that we shall +govern ourselves! I propose that we shall let the past go, and let the +dead past bury the dead past. I believe the American people have brains +enough, and nerve enough, and courage enough, to control and govern +themselves, without any assistance from dust or ghosts. That is my +doctrine, and I am going to do what I can while I live to increase that +feeling of independence and manhood in the American people.--We can +control ourselves. I believe in the gospel of this world; I believe in +happiness right here; I do not believe in drinking skim milk all my +life with the expectation of butter beyond the clouds. I believe in the +gospel, I say, in this world. This is a mighty good world. There are +plenty of good people in this world. There is lots of happiness in this +world and, I say, let us, in every way we can, increase it. I envy +every man who is content with his lot, whether he is poor or whether he +is rich. I tell you, the man that tries to make somebody else happy, +and who owns his own soul, nobody having a mortgage or deed of trust +upon his manhood or liberty--this world is a pretty good world for such +a man. I do not care: I am going to say my say, whether I make money +or grow poor; no matter whether I get high office or walk along the +dusty highway of the common. I am going to say my say, and I had rather +be a farmer and live on forty acres of land--live in a log cabin that I +built myself, and have a little grassy path going down to the spring, so +that I can go there and hear the waters gurgling, and know that it is +coming out from the lips of the earth, like a poem, whispering to the +white pebbles--I would rather live there, and have some hollyhocks at +the corner of the house, and the larks singing and swinging in the +trees, and some lattice over the window, so that the sunlight can fall +checkered on the babe in the cradle. I had rather live there, and have +the freedom of my own brain; I had rather do that than live in a palace +of gold, and crawl, a slimy hypocrite, through this world. Superstition +has done enough harm already; every religion, nearly, suspects +everything that is pleasant, everything that is joyous, and they always +have a notion that God feels best when we feel worst. They have chained +the Andromeda of joy to the cold rock of ignorance and fear, there to be +devoured by the dragon of superstition. Church and State are two +vultures that have fed upon the heart of chained Prometheus. I say, let +the human race have a chance let every man think for himself and express +that thought. There is no wrath in the serene heavens; there is no +scowl in the blue of the sky. Upon the throne of the universe tyranny +does not sit as a king. + +The speaker here took from his pocket a pair of spectacles, and adjusted +them, saying: I am sorry to admit it; I have got to come to it. I +hate to put on a pair of spectacles, but the other day, as I was putting +them on, a thought struck me. I see progress in this. To progress is +to overcome the obstacles of nature, and in order to overcome this +obstacle of the loss of sight man invented spectacles. Spectacles led +men to the telescope, with which he read all the starry heavens; and +had it not been for the failure of sight we wouldn't have seen a +millionth part that we have. In the first place, we owe nothing but +truth to the dead. I am going to tell the truth about them. There are +three theories by which men account for all phenomena--for everything +that happens: First, the supernatural. In the olden time, everything +that happened some deity produced, some spirit, some devil, some +hobgoblin, some dryad, some fairy, some spook, something except nature. +First, then, the supernatural; and a barbarian, looking at the wide, +mysterious sea, wandering through the depths of the forest, encountering +the wild beasts, troubled by strange dreams, accounted for everything by +the action of spirits, good and bad. Second, the supernatural and +natural. There is where the religious world is today--a mingling of the +supernatural and natural, the idea being that God created the world and +imposed upon men certain laws, and then let them run, and if they ever +got into any trouble then he would do a miracle, and accomplish any good +that he desired to do. Third--and that is the grand theory--the +natural. Between these theories there has been from the dawn of +civilization a conflict. In this great war nearly all the soldiers have +been in the ranks of the supernatural. The believers in the +supernatural insist that matter is controlled and directed entirely by +powers from without. The naturalists maintain that nature acts from +within; that nature is not acted upon; that the universe is all there +is; that nature, with infinite arms, embraces everything that exists, +and that the supposed powers beyond the limits of the materially real +are simply ghosts. + +You say, ah! this is materialism! this is the doctrine of matter! What +is matter? I take a handful of earth in my hands, and into that dust I +put seeds, and arrows from the eternal quiver of the sun smite it, and +the seeds grow and bud and blossom, and fill the air with perfume in my +sight. Do you understand that? Do you understand how this dust and +these seeds and that light and this moisture produced that bud and that +flower and that perfume? Do you understand that any better than you do +the production of thought? Do you understand that any better than you +do a dream? Do you understand that any better than you do the thoughts +of love that you see in the eyes of the one you adore? Can you explain +it? Can you tell what matter is? Have you the slightest conception? Yet +you talk about matter as though you were acquainted with its origin; as +though you had compelled, with clenched hands, the very rocks to give up +the secret of existence? Do you know what force is? Can you account +for molecular action? Are you familiar with chemistry? Can you account +for the loves and the hatreds of the atoms? Is there not something in +matter that forever excludes you? Can you tell what matter really is? +Before you cry materialism, you had better find what matter is. Can you +tell of anything without a material basis? Is it possible to imagine +the annihilation of a single atom? Is it possible for you to conceive +of the creation of a single atom? Can you have a thought that is not +suggested to you by what you call matter? Did any man or woman or child +ever have a solitary thought, dream or conception, that was not +suggested to them by something they had seen in nature? Can you conceive +of anything the different parts of which have been suggested to you by +nature? You can conceive of an animal with the hoofs of a bison, with +the pouch of a kangaroo, with the head of a buffalo, with the tail of a +lion, with the scales of a fish, with the wings of a bird, and yet every +part of this impossible monster has been suggested to you by nature. +You say time, therefore you can think eternity. You say pain, therefore +you can think hell. You say strength, therefore you can think +omnipotence. You say wisdom, therefore you can think infinite wisdom. +Everything you see, everything you can dream of or think of, has been +suggested to you by your surroundings, by nature. Man cannot rise above +nature; below nature man cannot fall. Imagine, if you please, the +creation of a single atom. Can any one here imagine the creation out of +nothing of one atom? Can any one here imagine the destruction of one +atom? Can you imagine an atom being changed to nothing? Can you +imagine nothing being changed to an atom? There is not a solitary +person here with an imagination strong enough to think either of the +creation of an atom or of the annihilation of an atom. + +Matter and the universe are the same yesterday, today and forever. There +is just as much matter in the universe today as there ever was, and as +there ever will be; there is just as much force and just as much energy +as there ever was or ever will be; but it is continually taking +different shapes and forms; one day it is a man, another day it is +animal, another day it is earth, another day it is metal, another day it +is gas, it gains nothing and it loses nothing. Our fathers denounced +materialism and accounted for all phenomena how? By the caprice of gods +and devils. For thousands of years it was believed that ghosts, good +ghosts, bad ghosts, benevolent and malevolent, in some mysterious way +produced all phenomena; that disease and health, happiness and misery, +fortune and misfortune, peace and war, life and death, success and +failure, were but arrows shot by those ghosts or shadowy phantoms, to +reward or punish mankind; that they were displeased or pleased by our +actions, that they blessed the earth with harvest or cursed it with +famine; that they fed or starved the children of men; that they +crowned or uncrowned kings; that they controlled war; that they gave +prosperous voyages, allowing the brave mariner to meet his wife and +children inside the harbor bar, or strewed the sad shore with wrecks of +ships and the bodies of men. Formerly these ghosts were believed to be +almost innumerable. Earth, air and water were filled with these +phantoms, but in modern times they have greatly decreased in number, +because the second proposition that I stated, the supernatural and the +natural, has generally been adopted, but the remaining ghosts are +supposed to perform the same functions as of yore. + +Let me say right here that the object of every religion ever made by man +has been to get on the good side of supposed powers; has been to +petition the gods to stop the earthquakes, to stop famine, to stop +pestilence. It has always been something that man should do to prevent +being punished by the powers of the air or to get from them some favors. +It has always been believed that these ghosts could in some way be +appeased; that they could be bettered by sacrifices, by prayer, by +fasting, by the building of temples and cathedrals, by shedding the +blood of men and beasts, by forms, by ceremonies, by kneelings, by +prostrations and flagellations, by living alone in the wild desert, by +the practice of celibacy, by inventing instruments of torture, by +destroying men, women and children, by covering the earth with dungeons, +by burning unbelievers and by putting chains upon the thoughts and +manacles upon the lips of men, by believing things without evidence, by +believing things against evidence, by disbelieving and denying +demonstrations, by despising facts, by hating reason, by discouraging +investigation, by making an idiot of yourself--all these have been done +to appease the winged monsters of the air. + +In the history of our poor world no horror has been omitted, no infamy +has been left undone by believers in ghosts, and all the shadows were +born of cowardice and malignity; they were painted by the pencil of +fear upon the canvas of ignorance by that artist called Superstition. +From these ghosts our fathers received their information. These ghosts +were the schoolmasters of our ancestors. They were the scientists, the +philosophers, the geologists, the legislators, the astronomers, the +physicians, the metaphysicians and historians of the past. + +Let me give you my definition of metaphysics, that is to say, the +science of the unknown, the science of guessing. Metaphysics is where +two fools get together, and each one admits that neither can prove, and +both say, "Hence we infer." That is the science of metaphysics. For +this these ghosts were supposed to have the only experience and real +knowledge; they inspired men to write books, and the books were sacred. +If facts were found to be inconsistent with these books, so much the +worse for the facts, and especially for the discoverers of these facts. +It was then and still is believed that these sacred books are the basis +of the idea of immortality, to give up the idea that these books were +inspired is and to renounce the idea of immortal life. I deny it! Men +existed before books; and all the books that were ever written were +written, in my judgment, by men, and the idea of immortality was not +born of a book, but was born of the man who wrote the book. The idea of +immortality, like the great sea, has ebbed and flowed in the human +heart, beating its countless waves of hope and joy against the shores of +time, and was not born of any book, nor of any religion, nor of any +creed; it was born of human affection, and it will continue to ebb and +flow beneath the clouds and mists of doubt and darkness as long as love +kisses the lips of death. It is the rainbow of hope shining upon the +tears of grief. We love, therefore we wish to live, and the foundation +of the idea of immortality is human affection and human love, and I have +a thousand times more confidence in the affections of the human heart, +in the deep and splendid feelings of the human soul than I have in any +book that ever was or ever can be written by mortal man. + +From the books written by those ghosts we have at least ascertained that +they knew nothing whatever of the world in which we live. Did they know +anything about any other? Upon every point where contradiction is +possible, the ghosts have been contradicted. By these ghosts, by these +citizens of the air, by this aristocracy of the clouds the affairs of +government were administered all authority to govern came from them. +The emperors, kings and potentates, every one of them, had the divine +petroleum poured upon his head, the kerosene of authority. + +The emperors, king and potentates had communications from the phantoms. +Man was not considered as the source of power; to rebel against the +king was to rebel against the ghosts, and nothing less than the blood of +the offenders could appease the invisible phantoms and by the authority +of the ghosts man was crushed and slayed and plundered. Many toiled +wearily in the sun and storm that a few favorites of the ghosts might +live in idleness, and many lived in huts and caves and dens that the few +might dwell in palaces, and many clothed themselves with rags that a few +might robe themselves in purple and gold, and many crept and cringed and +crawled that a few might tread upon their necks with feet of iron. From +the ghosts men received not only authority but information. They told us +the form of the earth; they informed us that eclipses were caused by +the sins of man, especially the failure to pay tithes that the universe +was made in six days; that gazing at the sky with a telescope was +dangerous; that trying to be wise beyond what they had written was born +of a rebellious and irreverent spirit; they told us there was no virtue +like belief; no crime like doubt, that investigation was simply +impudence, and the punishment therefore violent torment; they not only +told us all about this world but about two others, and if their +statements about the other two are as true as they were about this, no +one can estimate the value of their information. + +For countless ages the world was governed by ghosts, and they spared no +pains to change the eagle of the human intellect into a bat of darkness. +To accomplish this infamous purpose, to drive the love of truth from the +human heart; to prevent the advancement of mankind to shut out from the +world every ray of intellectual light to pollute every mind with +superstition, the power of kings, the cunning and cruelty of priests, +and the wealth of nations were used. + +In order to show you the information we got from the ghosts, and the +condition of the world when the ghosts were the kings, let me call your +attention to this: During these years of persecution, ignorance, +superstition and slavery, nearly all the people, the kings, lawyers and +doctors, learned and unlearned, believed in that frightful production of +ignorance, of fear and faith, called witchcraft. Witchcraft today is +religion carried out. They believed that man was the sport and prey of +devils; that the very air was thick with these enemies of man, and, +with few exceptions, this hideous belief was universal. Under these +conditions progress was almost impossible. Fear paralyzed the brain. + +Progress is born of courage. Fear believes, courage doubts. Fear falls +upon the earth and prays; courage stands erect and thinks. Fear +retreats; courage advances. Fear is barbarism, courage is +civilization. Fear believes in witchcraft; courage in science and in +eternal law. The facts upon which this terrible belief rested were +proved over and over again in nearly every court in Europe. Thousands +confessed themselves guilty, admitted they had sold themselves to the +devil. They gave the particulars of the sale; told what they said and +what the devil replied. They confessed themselves guilty when they knew +that confession was death; knew that their property would be +confiscated and their children left to beg their bread. This is one of +the miracles of history, one of the strangest contradictions of the +human mind. Without doubt they really believed themselves guilty. + +In the first place, they believed in witchcraft as a fact, and when +charged with it, they became insane. They had read the account of the +witch of Endor calling up the dead body of Samuel. He is an old man; he +has his mantle on. They had read the account of Saul stooping to the +earth and conversing with the spirit that had been called from the +region of space by a witch. They had read a command from the Almighty, +"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live," and they believed the world was +full of witches, or else the Almighty Would not have made a law against +them. They believed in witchcraft, and when they were charged with it, +they probably became insane, and in their insanity they confessed their +guilt. They found themselves abhorred and deserted, charged with a crime +they could not disprove. Like a man in quicksand, every effort only +sunk them deeper. Caught in this frightful web, at the mercy of the +devotees of superstition, hope fled and nothing remained but the +insanity of confession. + +The whole world appeared insane. In the time of James I, a man was +burned for causing a storm at sea, with the intention of drowning one of +the royal family, but I do not think it would have been much of a crime +if he had been really guilty. How could he disprove it? How could he +show that he did not cause a storm at sea? All storms were at that time +supposed to be inspired by the devil; the people believed that all +storms were caused by him, or by persons whom he assisted. I implore +you to remember that the men who believed these things wrote our creeds +and our confessions of faith, and it is by their dust that I am asked to +kneel and pay implicit homage, instead of investigating; and I implore +you to recollect that they wrote our creeds. + +A woman was tried and convicted before Sir Matthew Hale, one of the +greatest judges and lawyers of England, for having caused children to +vomit crooked pins. Think of that! The learned judge charged the +intelligent jury that there was no doubt as to the existence of witches, +that it was established by all history and expressly taught by the +Bible. The woman was hung and her body was burned. Sir Thomas Moore +declared that to give up witchcraft was to throw away the sacred +scriptures. John Wesley, too, was a firm believer in ghosts, and +insisted upon their existence after all laws upon the subject had been +repealed in England, and I beg of you to remember that John Wesley was +the founder of the Methodist Church. In New England a woman was charged +with being a witch and with having changed herself into a fox; while in +that condition she was attacked and bitten by some dogs, and a committee +of three men was ordered by the Court to examine this woman. They +removed her clothing, and searched for what they were pleased to call +witch-spots--that is to say, spots into which a needle could be thrust +without giving pain; they reported to the Court that such spots were +found. She denied that she had ever changed herself into a fox. On the +report of the committee she was found guilty, and she was actually +executed by our Puritan fathers, the gentlemen who braved the danger of +the deep for the sake of worshiping God and persecuting their fellow +men. I belong to their blood, and the best thing I can say about them, +and that which rises like a white shaft to their eternal honor, is that +they were in favor of education. + +A man was attacked by a wolf; he defended himself and succeeded in +cutting off one of the animal's paws, and the wolf ran away; he put it +in his pocket and carried it home; there he found his wife with one of +her hands gone, and he took that paw from his pocket and put it upon her +arm, and it assumed the appearance of a human hand, and he charged his +wife with being a witch. She was tried, she confessed her guilt, and +she was hung and her body was burned! My! is it possible? Did not +somebody say something against such an infamous proceeding? Yes, they +did! There was a Young Men's Association who invited a man to come and +give his ideas upon the subject. + +He denounced it. He said it was outrageous, that it was nonsensical, +that it was infamous and the moment he went away the young men met and +passed a resolution that he had deceived them; and the clergy at that +time protested and said, of course, let the man think, if you call that +kind of stuff thinking. + +But there was one man belonging to this Association who had the courage +to stand by the truth. + +Whether he believed in what the speaker said or not, he had that +manliness; and I take this opportunity to thank from the bottom of my +heart a man. I have no idea he agrees with me except in this: Whatever +you do, do it like a man and be honest about it. + +People were burned for causing frost in summer; for destroying crops +with hail; for causing storms--for making cows go dry; for souring +beer; for putting the devil in emptyings so that they would not rise. +The life of no one was secure. To be charged was to be convicted. +Every man was at the mercy of every other. This infamous belief was so +firmly seated in the minds of the people, that, to express a doubt as to +its existence was to be suspected yourself. They believed that animals +were often taken possession of by devils, and they believed that the +killing of the animal would destroy the devil. They absolutely tried, +convicted and executed dumb beasts. + +At Vail, in 1470, a rooster was tried upon the charge of having laid an +egg, and the clergy said they had no doubt of it. Rooster eggs were +used only in making witch-ointment. This everybody knew. The rooster +was convicted, and with all due solemnity, he was burned in the public +square. + +So a hog and six pig died for having killed and partially eaten a child. +The hog was convicted, but the pigs, on account of their extreme youth, +were acquitted. + +As late as 1740, a cow, charged with being possessed of a devil, was +tried and was convicted. They used to exorcise rats, snakes and vermin; +they used to go through the alleys and streets and fields and warn them +to leave within a certain number of days, and if they did not leave, +they threatened them with certain pains and penalties which they +proceeded to recount. + +But let us be careful how we laugh about those things; let us not pride +ourselves too much on the progress of our age. We must not forget that +some of our people are yet in the same intelligent business. Only a +little while ago the Governor of Minnesota appointed a day of fasting +and prayer to see if the Lord could not be induced to kill the +grasshoppers--or send them into some other State. + +About the close of the fifteenth century was the excitement in regard to +witchcraft, and Pope Innocent the Eighth issued a bull directing the +inquisitors to be vigilant in searching out and punishing all guilty of +this crime. Forms for the crime were regularly issued. For two hundred +and fifty years the church was busy in punishing the impossible crime of +witchcraft by burning, hanging and torturing men, women and little +children. + +Protestants were as active as Catholics; and in Geneva five hundred +witches were burned at the stake in three months, and one thousand were +executed in one year in the diocese of Couro; at least one hundred +thousand victims suffered in Germany, the last execution being in +Galesburgh, and taking place in 1794, and the last in Switzerland, 1780. +In England statutes were passed from Henry VI to James I, defining the +crime and punishment, and the last act passed in the British Parliament +was when Lord Bacon was a member of the house. + +In 1716 Mrs. Hicks and daughter, nine years of age, were hung for +selling their souls to the devil; and raising a storm at sea by pulling +off their stockings and making a lather of soap. In England it has been +estimated that at least 30,000 were hung or burned. The last victim +executed in Scotland was 1722. She was an innocent old woman who had so +little idea of her condition, that she rejoiced at the sight of the fire +destined to consume her to ashes. She had a daughter, lame in her +hands, a circumstance accounted for from the fact that the witch had +been used to transfer her daughter into a pony and get her shod by the +devil! Intelligent ancestors! + +In 1692 nineteen persons were executed in Salem, Massachusetts, for the +crime of witchcraft. It was thought in those days that men and women +made contracts with the devil, and those contracts were confirmed at a +meeting of witches and ghosts, over which the devil presided; these +contracts in some cases were for a few years, others for life. General +assemblages of witches were held once a year. To these they rode from +great distances on brooms and dogs, and there they did homage to the +prince of hell and offered him sacrifices. + +In 1836 the populace of Holland plunged into the sea a woman reputed to +be a sorceress, and as the miserable woman persisted in rising to the +surface, she was pronounced guilty, and was beaten to death. It was +believed that the devil could transform people into any shape he +pleased, and whoever denounced this idea was denounced as an Infidel; +that the believers in witchcraft appealed to the devil; that with the +devil were associated innumerable spirits, who ranged over the world +endeavoring to torment mankind; that these spirits possessed a power +and wisdom transcending the limits of human faculties. They believed +the devil could carry persons hundreds of miles in a few seconds; they +believed this because they knew that Christ had been carried by the +devil, in the same manner, into a high mountain, and placed upon a +pinnacle. According to their account, the prince of the air had +absolutely taken the God of this infinite Universe, the Creator of all +its shining, wheeling stars--he had been absolutely taken by the devil +to a pinnacle of the temple, and there had been tempted by the devil to +cast himself to the earth. + +Take from the church itself the threat and fear of hell and it becomes +an extinct volcano. With the doctrine of hell taken from the Church, +that is the end of the fall of man, that is the end of the scheme of +atonement. Take from them the idea of an eternal place of torment, and +the Church is thrown back simply upon facts. + +And Dean Stanley, the leading ecclesiastic of Great Britain, only the +other day in Winchester Abbey, said science will be the only theology of +the future. Morality is the only religion of the years to come. Not +withstanding all the infamous things laid to the charge of the Church, +we are told that the civilization of today is the child of what we are +pleased to call superstition. Let me call your attention to what they +received from their fears of these ghosts. Let me give you an outline +of the sciences as taught by those philosophers. There is one thing +that a man is interested in, if he is in anything, and that is in the +science of medicine. A doctor is, so to speak, in partnership with +Nature. He is a preserver if he is worthy of the name. And now I want +to show what they have gotten from these ghosts upon the science of +medicine. + +According to them, all of the diseases were produced as a punishment by +the good ghosts, or out of pure malignity by the bad ones. There were, +properly speaking, no diseases; the sick were simply possessed by +ghosts. The science of medicine consisted in knowing how to persuade +these ghosts to vacate the premises and for thousands of years all +diseases were treated with incantations, hideous noises, with the +beating of drums and gongs; everything was done to make the position of +a ghost as unpleasant as possible; and they generally succeeded in +making things so disagreeable that if the ghost did not leave, the +patient died. These ghosts were supposed to be different in rank, power +and dignity. Now, then, a man pretended to have won the favor of some +powerful ghost who gave him power over the little ones. Such a man +became a very great physician. It was found that a certain kind of +smoke was exceedingly offensive to the nostrils of your ordinary ghost. +With this smoke the sick room would be filled until the ghost vanished +or the patient died. It was also believed that certain words, when +properly pronounced, were the most effective weapons, for it was for a +long time supposed that Latin words were the best, I suppose because +Latin was a dead language. For thousands of years medicine consisted in +driving the devils out of men. In some instances bargains and promises +were made with the ghosts. One case is given where a multitude of +devils traded a man off for a herd of swine. In this transaction the +devils were the losers, the swine having immediately drowned themselves +in the sea. This idea of disease appears to have been almost universal +and is not yet extinct. The contortions of the epileptic, the strange +twitching of those afflicted with cholera, were all seized as proof that +the bodies of men were filled with vile and malignant spirits. Whoever +endeavored to account for these things by natural causes; whoever +endeavored to cure disease by natural means was denounced as an Infidel. +To explain anything was a crime. It was to the interest of the +sacerdotal class that all things should be accounted for by the will and +power of God and the devil. The moment it is admitted that all +phenomena are within the domain of the natural, and that all the prayers +in the world cannot change one solitary fact, the necessity for the +priest disappears. Religion breathes the idea of miracles. Take from +the minds of men the idea of the supernatural, and superstition ceases +to exist; for this reason the Church has always despised the man who +explains the wonderful. The moment that it began to be apparent that +prayer could do nothing for the body, the priest shifted his ground and +began praying for the soul. + +After the devil was substantially abandoned in the practice of medicine, +and when it was admitted that God had nothing to do with ordinary coughs +and colds, it was still believed that all the diseases were sent by Him +as punishment for the people; it was thought to be a kind of blasphemy +to even stay the ravages of pestilence. Formerly, when a pestilence +fell upon a people, the arguments of the priest were boundless. He told +the people that they had refused to pay their tithes, and they had +doubted some of the doctrines of the church, that in their hearts they +had contempt for some of the priests of the Lord, and God was now taking +his revenge, and the people, for the most part, believed this issue of +falsehood, and hastened to fall upon their knees and to pour out their +wealth upon the altars of hypocrisy. + +The Church never wanted disease to be absolutely under the control of +man. Timothy Dwight, president of Yale College, preached a sermon +against vaccination. His idea was that if God had decreed that through +all eternity certain men should die of small pox, it was a frightful sin +to endeavor to prevent it; that plagues and pestilence were instruments +in the hands of God with which to gain the love and worship of mankind; +to find the cure for the disease was to take the punishment from the +Church. No one tries to cure the ague with prayer because quinine has +been found to be altogether more reliable. Just as soon as a specific +is found for a disease, that disease is left out of the list of prayer. +The number of diseases with which God from time to time afflicts mankind +is continually decreasing, because the number of diseases that man can +cure is continually increasing. In a few years all diseases will be +under the control of man. The science of medicine has but one enemy-- +superstition. Man was afraid to save his body for fear he would lose +his soul. Is it any wonder that the people in those days believed in +and taught the infamous doctrine of eternal punishment, that makes God a +heartless monster and man a slimy hypocrite and slave? + +The ghosts were also historians, and wrote the grossest absurdities. +They wrote as though they had been eye witnesses of every occurrence. +They told all the past, they predicted all the future, with an impudence +that amounted to sublimity. They said that the Tartars originally came +from hell, and that they were called Tartars because that was one of the +names of hell. These gentlemen accounted for the red on the breasts of +robins from the fact that those birds used to carry water to the unhappy +infants in hell. Other eminent historians say that Nero was in the +habit of vomiting frogs. When I read that, I said some of the croakers +of the present day would be better for such a vomit. Others say that +the walls of a city fell down in answer to prayer. They tell us that +King Arthur was not born like other mortals; that he had great luck in +killing giants; that one of the giants that he killed wore clothes +woven from the beards of kings that he had slain, and, to cap the +climax, the authors of this history were rewarded for having written the +only reliable history of their country. These are the men from whom we +get our creeds and our confessions of faith. + +In all the histories of those days there is hardly a truth. Facts were +not considered of any importance. They wrote, and the people believed +that the tracks of Pharaoh's chariot were still visible upon the sands +of the Red Sea, and that they had been miraculously preserved as +perpetual witnesses of the miracles that had been performed, and they +said to any man who denied it, "Go there and you will find the tracks +still upon the sand." They accounted for everything as the work of good +and evil spirits; with cause and effect they had nothing to do. Facts +were in no way related to each other. God, governed by infinite +caprice, filled the world with miracles and disconnected events, and +from his quiver came the arrows of pestilence and death. The moment the +idea is abandoned that everything in this universe is natural--that all +phenomena are the necessary links in the endless chain of being--the +conception of history becomes impossible that the ghost of the present +is not the child of the past; the present is not the mother of the +future. In the domain of superstition all is accident and caprice; and +do not, I pray you, forget that the writers of our creeds and +confessions of faith believed this to be a world of chance. Nothing +happens by accident; nothing happens by chance. In the wide universe +everything is necessarily produced, every effect has behind it a cause, +every effect is in its turn a cause, and there is in the wide domain of +the infinite not room enough for a miracle. + +When I say this, I mean this is my idea. I may be wrong, but that is my +idea. It was believed by our intelligent ancestors that all law derived +its greatness and force from the fact that it had been communicated to +man by ghosts. Of course, it is not pretended that the ghosts told +everybody the law, but they told it to a few, and the few told it to the +people, and the people, as a rule, paid them exceedingly well for the +trouble. It was a long time before the people commenced making laws for +themselves, and, strange as it may appear, most of their laws are vastly +superior to the ghost article. Through the web and woof of human +legislation gradually began to run and shine and glitter the golden +thread of justice. + +During these years of darkness it was believed that, rather than see an +act of injustice done, rather than see the guilty triumph, some ghost +would interfere and I do wish, from the bottom of my heart, that that +was the truth. There never was forced upon my heart a more frightful +conviction than this--the right does not always prevail; there never +was forced upon my mind a more cruel conclusion than this--innocence is +not always a sufficient shield. I wish it was. I wish, too, that man +suffered nothing but that which he brings upon himself and yet I find +that in nine districts in India, between the 1st day of last January and +the 1st day of June, 2,800,000 people starved to death, and that little +children, with their lips upon the breasts of famine, died, wasted away. +And why, simply because a little while before the wind did not veer the +one hundredth part of a degree, and send clouds over the country, +freighted with rain, freighted with love and joy. But if that wind had +just turned that way there would have been happy men, women and +children, all clad in the garments of health. I wish that I could know +in my heart that there was some power that would see to it that men and +women got exact justice somewhere. I do wish that I knew--the right +would prevail--that innocence was an infinite shield. + +During these years it was believed that rather than see an act of +injustice done some ghost would interfere. This belief, as a rule, gave +great satisfaction to the victorious party, and, as the other man was +dead, no complaint was ever made by him. This doctrine was a +sanctification of brute force and chance. Prisoners were made to grasp +hot irons, and if it burned them their guilt was established. Others +were tied hands and feet and cast into the sea, and if they sank, the +verdict of guilt was unanimous; if they did not sink then they said +water is such a pure element that it refuses to take a guilty person, +and consequently he is a witch or wizard. Why, in England, persons +accused of crime could appeal to the cross, and to a piece of +sacramental bread. If he could swallow this without choking he was +acquitted. And this practice was continued until the time of King +Edward, who was choked to death; after which it was discontinued. + +Ghosts and their followers always took delight in torturing with unusual +pain any infraction of their laws, and generally death was the penalty. +Sometimes, when a man committed only murder, he was permitted to flee to +a place of refuge--murder being only a crime against man--but for saying +certain words, or denying certain doctrines, or for worshiping wrong +ghosts, or for failing to pray to the right one, or for laughing at a +priest, or for saying that wine was not blood, or bread was not flesh, +or for failing to regard rams' horns as artillery, or for saying that a +raven as a rule, was a poor landlord, death, produced by all the ways +that ingenuity or hatred could devise, was the penalty suffered by these +men. I tell you tonight law is a growth; law is a science. Right and +wrong exist in the nature of things. Things are not right because they +are commanded; they are not wrong because they are prohibited. They +are prohibited because we believe them wrong; they are commended because +we believe them right. There are real crimes enough without creating +artificial ones. All progress in legislation for a thousand years has +consisted in repealing the laws of the ghosts. The idea of right and +wrong is born of man's capacity to enjoy and suffer. If man could not +suffer, if he could not inflict injury upon his brother, if he could +neither feel nor inflict punishment, the idea of law, the idea of right, +the idea of wrong, never could have entered into his brain. If man +could not suffer, if he could not inflict suffering, the word conscience +never would have passed the lips of man. There is one good--happiness. +There is one sin--selfishness. All laws should be for the preservation +of the one and the destruction of the other. Under the regime of the +ghosts the laws were not understood to exist in the nature of things; +they were supposed to be irresponsible commands, and these commands were +not supposed to rest upon reason; they were simply the product of +arbitrary will. These penalties for the violations of those laws were +as cruel as the penalties were absurd. There were over two hundred +offenses for which man was punished with death. Think of it! And these +laws are said to have come from a most merciful God. And yet we have +become civilized to that degree in this country that in the State of New +York there is only one crime punishable with death. Think of it! Did I +not tell you that we were now civilizing our gods? The tendency of +those horrible laws, the tendency of those frightful penalties, was to +blot the idea of justice from the human soul. Now, I want to show you +how perfectly every department of human knowledge, or rather of +ignorance, was saturated with superstition. I will for a moment refer +to the science of language. + +It was thought by our fathers that Hebrew was the original language; +that it was taught to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden by the Almighty +himself. Every fact inconsistent with that idea was thrown away. +According to the ghosts, the trouble at the Tower of Babel accounted for +the fact that all the people did not speak the Hebrew language. The +Babel question settled all questions in the science of language. After +a time so many facts were found to be so inconsistent with the Hebrew +idea that it began to fall into disrepute, and other languages began to +be used. Andrew Kent published a work on the science of language, in +which he stated that God spoke to Adam, and Adam answered, in Hebrew, +and that the serpent probably spoke to Eve in French. In 1580 another +celebrated work was published at Antwerp, in which the whole matter was +put at rest, showing beyond a doubt that the language spoken in Paradise +was neither more nor less than plain Holland Dutch. Another celebrated +writer, a contemporary of Sir Isaac Newton, discouraged the idea that +all languages could be traced to one; he maintained that language was +of natural growth; that we speak as naturally as we grow; we talk as +naturally as sings a bird, or as blooms and blossoms a flower. +Experience teaches us that this be so; words are continually dying and +continually may being born--words are the garments of thought. Through +the lapse of time some were as rude as the skins of wild beasts, and +others pleasing and cultured like silk and gold. Words have been born +of hatred and revenge, of love and self sacrifice and fear, of agony and +joy the stars have fashioned them, and in them mingled the darkness and +the dawn. + +Every word that we get from the past is, so to speak, a mummy robed in +the linen of the grave. They are the crystallizations of human history, +of all that man enjoyed, of all that man has suffered, his victories and +defeats, all that he has lost and won. Words are the shadows of all +that has been; they are the mirrors of all that is. The ghosts also +enlightened our fathers in astronomy and geology. According to them the +world was made out of nothing, and a little more nothing having been +taken than was used in the construction of the world, the stars were +made out of the scraps that were left over. Cosmos, in the sixth +century, taught that the stars were impelled by angels, who carried them +upon their shoulders, rolled them in front of them, or drew them after. +He also taught that each angel who pushed a star took great pains to +observe what the other angels were doing, so that the relative distances +between the stars might always remain the same. + +He stated that this world was a vast body of water, with a strip of land +on the outside; that Adam and Eve lived on the outer strip; that their +descendants were drowned on the outer strip, all except Noah and his +family; he accounted for night and day by saying that on the outer +strip of land was a mountain, around which the sun revolved, producing +darkness when it was hidden from sight, and daylight when it emerged; +he also declared the earth to be flat. This he proved by many passages +from the Bible; among other reasons for believing the earth to be flat +he referred to a passage in the New Testament, which says that Christ +shall come again in glory and power, and every eye shall see him, and +said, now, if the world is round how are the people on the other side +going to see Christ when he comes? That settled the question, and the +church not only indorsed this book but declared that whoever believed +either less or more was a heretic and would be dealt with as such. + +In those blessed days ignorance was a king and science was an outcast. +The church knew that the moment the earth ceased to be the center of the +universe, and became a mere speck in the starry sphere of existence, +every religion would become a thing of the past. In the name and by the +authority of the ghosts, men enslaved their fellowmen; they trampled +upon the rights of women and children. In the name and by the authority +of ghosts, they bought and sold each other. They filled heaven with +tyrants and the earth with slaves. They filled the present with +intolerance and the future with horror. In the name and by the authority +of the ghosts, they declared superstition to be the real religion. In +the name and by the authority of the ghosts, they imprisoned the human +mind; they polluted the conscience, they subverted justice, and they +sainted hypocrisy. I have endeavored in some degree to show you what +has been and always will be when men are governed by superstition. + +When they destroy the sublime standard of reason; when they take the +words of others and do not investigate them themselves, even the great +men of those days appear nearly as weak as the most ignorant. One of +the greatest men of the world, an astronomer second to none, discoverer +of the three great laws that explain the solar system, was an astrologer +and believed that he could predict the career of a man by finding what +star was in the ascendant at his birth. He believed in what is called +the music of the spheres, and he ascribed the qualities of the music-- +alto, bass, tenor and treble--to certain of the planets. Another man +kept an idiot, whose words he put down and then put them together in +such a manner as to make promises, and waited patiently to see that they +were fulfilled. Luther believed he had actually seen the devil and +discussed points of theology with him. The human mind was enchained. +Every idea, almost, was a mystery. Facts were looked upon as worthless; +only the wonderful was worth preserving. Devils were thought to be the +most industrious beings in the universe, and with these imps every +occurrence of an unusual character was connected. There was no order, +certainty; everything depended upon ghosts and phantoms, and man, for +the most part, considered himself at the mercy of malevolent spirits. +He protected himself as best he could with holy water, and with tapers, +and wafers, and cathedrals. He made noises to frighten the ghosts and +music to charm them; he fasted when he was hungry and he feasted when +he was not; he believed everything unreasonable; he humbled himself; +he crawled in the dust; he shut the doors and windows; and excluded +every ray of light from his soul; and he delayed not a day to repair +the walls of his own prison; and from the garden of the human heart +they plucked and trampled into the bloody dust the flowers and blossoms; +they denounced man as totally depraved; they made reason blasphemy; +they made pity a crime; nothing so delighted them as painting the +torments and tortures of the damned. Over the worm that never dies they +grew poetic. According to them, the cries ascending from hell were the +perfume of heaven. + +They divided the world into saints and sinners, and all the saints were +going to heaven, and all the sinners yonder. Now, then, you stand in +the presence of a great disaster. A house is on fire, and there is seen +at a window the frightened face of a woman with a babe in her arms, +appealing for help; humanity cries out: "Will someone go to the +rescue?" They do not ask for a Methodist, a Baptist, or a Catholic; +they ask for a man; all at once there starts from the crowd one that +nobody ever suspected of being a saint; one may be, with a bad +reputation; but he goes up the ladder and is lost in the smoke and +flame; and a moment after he emerges, and the great circles of flame +hiss around him; in a moment more he has reached the window; in +another moment, with the woman and child in his arms, he reaches the +ground and gives his fainting burden to the bystanders and the people +all stand hushed for a moment, as they always do at such times, and then +the air is rent with acclamations. Tell me that that man is going to be +sent to hell, to eternal flames, who is willing to risk his life rather +than a woman and child should suffer from the fire one moment! I +despise that doctrine of hell! Any man that believes in eternal hell is +afflicted with at least two diseases--petrifaction of the heart and +petrifaction of the brain. + +I have seen upon the field of battle a boy sixteen years of age struck +by a fragment of a shell; I have seen him fall; I have seen him die +with a curse upon his lips and the face of his mother in his heart. +Tell me that his soul will be hurled from the field of battle where he +lost his life that his country might live--where he lost his life for +the liberties of man--tell me that he will be hurled from that field to +eternal torment! I pronounce it an infamous lie. And yet, according to +these gentlemen, that is to be the fate of nearly all the splendid +fellows in this world. + +I had in my possession a little while ago a piece of fresco that used to +adorn a church at Stratford-on-Avon, the place where Shakespeare +lived, and there was a picture representing the morning of the +resurrection and people were getting out of their graves and devils were +grabbing them by their heels. And there was an immense monster, with +jaws open so wide that a man could walk down its throat, and the flames +were issuing therefrom, and there were devils driving people in droves +down the throat of this monster; and there was an immense kettle in +which they had put these men, and the fire was being stirred under it, +and hot pitch was being poured on top, and little devils were setting it +on fire and then on the walls there were hundreds hung up by their +tongues to hooks and nails; and then the saved--there were some five or +six saved--upon the horizon, and they had a most self-satisfied grin of +"I told you so." + +At the risk of being tiresome, I have said that I have to show the +direction of the human mind in slavery, the effects of widespread +ignorance, and the result of fear. I want to convince you that every +form of slavery, physical or mental, is a viper that will finally fill +with poison the breast of any man alive. I want to show you that there +should be republicanism in the domain of thought as well as in civil +government. The first step toward progress is for man to cease to be +the slave of the creatures of his creation. Men found at last that the +event is more valuable than the prophecy, especially if it never comes +to pass. They found that diseases were not produced by spirits; that +they could not be cured by frightening them away. They found that death +was as natural as life. They began to study the anatomy and chemistry +of the human body, and they found that all was natural, and the conjurer +and the sorcerer were dismissed, and the physician and surgeon were +employed. They learned that being born under a star or planet had +nothing to do with their luck; the astrologer was discharged and the +astronomer took his place. They found that the world had swept through +the constellation for millions of ages. They found that diseases were +produced as easily as grass, and were not sent as punishment on men for +failing to believe a creed. They found that man, through intelligence, +could take advantage of the affairs of nature; that he could make the +waves, the winds, the flames, and the lightnings slaves at his bidding +to administer to his wants; they found the ghosts knew nothing of +benefit to man; that they were entirely ignorant of history; that they +were bad doctors and worse surgeons; that they knew nothing of the law +and less of justice that they were poor politicians; that they were +tyrants, and that they were without brains and utterly destitute of +hearts. + +The condition of this world during the dark ages shows exactly the +result of enslaving the souls of men. In those days there was no +liberty. Liberty was despised, and the laborer was considered but +little above the beast. Ignorance, like a vast cowl, covered the brain +of the world; superstition ran riot, and credulity sat upon the throne +of the soul. Murder and hypocrisy were the companions of man, and +industry was a slave. Every country maintained that it was no robbery +to take the property of Mohammedans by force, and no murder to kill the +owner. Lord Bacon was the first man who maintained that a Christian +country was bound to keep its plighted faith with a Mohammedan nation. +Every man who could read or write was suspected of being a heretic in +those days. Only one person in 40,000 could read or write. All thought +was discouraged. The whole earth was ruled by the mitre and sceptre, by +the altar and throne, by fear and force, by ignorance and faith, by +ghouls and ghosts. In the 15th century the following law was in force +in England: "Whosoever reads the Scripture in the mother tongue shall +forfeit land, cattle, life and goods, for themselves and their heirs +forever, and should be condemned for heretics to God, enemies to the +crown, and traitors to the land." + +During the period this law was in force, thirty-nine were hanged and +their bodies burned. In the 16th century men were burned because they +failed to kneel to a procession of monks. Even the Reformers, so +called, had no idea of liberty only when in the minority; the moment +they were clothed with power, they began to exterminate with fire and +sword. Castillo--and I want you to recollect it--was the first minister +in the world that declared in favor of universal toleration. Castillo +was pursued by John Calvin like a wild beast. Calvin said that such a +monstrous doctrine he crucified Christ afresh, and they pursued that man +until he died; recollect it! They can't do that now-a-days! You don't +know how splendid I feel about the liberty I have. The horizon is +filled with glory and the air is filled with wings. If there are any in +this world who think they had better not tell what they really think +because it will take bread from their little children, because it will +take clothing from their families--don't do it! don't make martyrs of +yourselves! I don't believe in martyrdom! Go right along with them; go +to church and say amen as near the right place as you can. I will do +your talking for you. They can't take the bread away from me. I will +talk. Bodemus, a lawyer of France, wrote a few words in favor of +freedom of conscience. Montaigne was the first to raise his voice +against torture in France; but what was the voice of one man against the +terrible cry of ignorant, infatuated, malevolent millions! I intend to +do what little I can, and I am going to do it kindly. I am going to +appeal to reason and to charity, to justice, to science, and to the +future. For my part, I glory in the fact that in the New World, in the +United States, liberty of conscience was first granted to man, and that +the Constitution of the United States was the first great decree entered +in the high court of human equity forever divorcing Church and State. +It is the grandest step ever taken by the human race and the Declaration +of Independence was the first document that retired ghosts from +politics. It is the first document that said authority does not come +from the phantoms of the air; authority is not from that direction; it +comes from the people themselves. The Declaration of Independence +enthroned man and dethroned the phantoms. You will ask what has caused +this change in three hundred years. I answer, the inventions and +discoveries of the few; the brave thoughts and heroic utterances of the +few; the acquisition of a few facts; getting acquainted with our +mother, Nature. Besides this, you must remember that every wrong in +some way, tends to abolish itself. It is hard to make a lie last +always. A lie will not fit the truth; it will only fit another lie told +on purpose to fit it. Nothing but truth lives. + +The nobles and the kings quarreled; the priests began to dispute, and +the millions began to get their rights. In 1441 printing was +discovered. At that time the past was a vast cemetery, without an +epitaph. The ideas of men had mostly perished in the brains that had +produced them. Printing gives an opening for thought; it preserves +ideas; it made it possible for a man to bequeath to the world the +wealth of his thoughts. About the same time, or a little before, the +Moors had gone into Europe, and it can be truthfully said that science +was thrust into the brain of Europe upon the point of a Moorish lance. +They gave us paper, and what is printing without paper? + +A bird without wings. I tell you paper has been a splendid thing. + +The discovery of America, whose shores were trod by the restless feet of +adventure and the people of every nation--out of this strange mingling +of facts and fancies came the great Republic. Every fact has pushed a +superstition from the brain and a ghost from the cloud. Every +mechanical art is an educator; every loom, every reaper, every mower, +every steamboat, every locomotive, every engine, every press, every +telegraph is a missionary of science and an apostle of progress; every +mill, every furnace with its wheels and levers, in which something is +made for the convenience, for the use and the comfort and the well-being +of man, is my kind of church, and every schoolhouse is a temple. +Education is the most radical thing in this world. To teach the +alphabet is to inaugurate a revolution; to build a schoolhouse is to +construct a fort; every library is an arsenal filled with the weapons +and ammunition of progress; every fact is a monitor with sides of iron +and a turret of steel. I thank the inventors and discoverers. I thank +Columbus and Magellan. I thank Locke and Hume, Bacon and Shakespeare. +I thank Fulton and Watt, Franklin and Morse, who made lightning the +messenger of man. I thank Luther for protesting against the abuses of +the Church, but denounce him because he was an enemy of liberty. I thank +Calvin for writing a book in favor of religious freedom, but I abhor him +because he burned Servetus. I thank the Puritans for saying that +resistance to tyrants is obedience to God, and yet I am compelled to +admit that they were tyrants themselves. I thank Thomas Paine because +he was a believer in liberty. I thank Voltaire, that great man who for +half a century was the intellectual monarch of Europe, and who, from his +throne at the foot of the Alps, pointed the finger of scorn at every +hypocrite in Christendom. I thank the inventors, I thank the +discoverers, the thinkers and the scientists, and I thank the honest +millions who have toiled. I thank the brave men with brave thoughts. +They are the Atlases upon whose broad and mighty shoulders rests the +grand fabric of civilization; they are the men who have broken, and are +still breaking, the chains of superstition. + +We are beginning to learn that to swap off a superstition for a fact, to +ascertain the real, is to progress. All that gives us better bodies and +minds and clothes and food and pictures, grander music, better heads, +better hearts, and that makes us better husbands and wives and better +citizens, all these things combined produce what we call the progress of +the human race. Man advances only as he overcomes the obstacles of +nature. It is done by labor and thought. Labor is the foundation. +Without great labor it is impossible to progress. Without labor on the +part of those who conduct all great industries of life, of those who +battle with the obstacles of the sea, on the part of the inventors, the +discoverers, and the brave, heroic thinkers, no surplus is produced; +and from the surplus produced by labor, spring the schools and +universities, the painters, the sculptors, the poets, the hopes, the +loves and the aspirations of the world. + +The surplus has given us the books. It has given us all there is of +beauty and eloquence. I am aware there is a vast difference of opinion +as to what progress is, and that many denounce my ideas. I know there +are many worshipers of the past. They see no beauty in anything from +which they do not blow the dust of ages with the breath of praise. They +see nothing like the ancients; no orators, poets or statesmen like +those who have been dust for thousands of years. + +In a sermon on a certain evening, some time ago, the Rev. Dr. Magee of +Albany, N. Y., stated that Colonel Ingersoll, referring to Jesus Christ, +called him a "dirty little Jew." I denounce that as a dirty little lie. + +I have as much reverence for any man who ever did what he believed was +right, and died in order to benefit mankind, as any man in this world. +Do they treat an opponent with fairness? Are they investigating? Do +they pull forward or do they hold back? Is science indebted to the +Church for a single fact? Let us know what it is. What church has been +the asylum for a persecuted truth? What reform has been inaugurated by +the Church? Did the Church abolish slavery? No. Who commenced it? +Such men as Garrison and Pillsbury and Wendel Phillips. They were the +titans that attacked the monster, and not a solitary one of them ever +belonged to a church. Has the Church raised its voice against war? No. +Are men restrained by superstition? Are men restrained by what you call +religion? I used to think they were not; now I admit they are. No man +has ever been restrained from the commission of a real crime, but from +an artificial one he has. There was a man who committed murder. They +got the evidence, but he confessed that he did it. "What did you do it +for?" "Money." "Did you get any money?" "Yes." "How much?" +"Fifteen cents." "What kind of a man was he?" "A laboring man I +killed." "What did you do with the money?" "I bought liquor with it." +"Did he have anything else?" "I think he had some meat and bread." +"What did you do with that?" "I ate the bread and threw away the meat; +it was Friday." So you see it will restrain in some things. + +Just to the extent that man has freed himself from the dominion of +ghosts he has advanced; to that extent he has freed himself from the +tyrant's poison. Man has found that he must give liberty to others in +order to have it himself. He has found that a master is a slave; that +a tyrant is also a slave. He has found that governments should be +administered by men for men; that the rights of all are to be +protected; that woman is at least the equal for man; that men existed +before books; that all creeds were made by men; that the few have a +right to contradict what the pulpit asserts; that man is responsible to +himself and to others. True religion must be free; without liberty the +brain is a dungeon and the mind the convict. The slave may bow and +cringe and crawl, but he cannot worship, he cannot adore. True religion +is the perfume of the free and grateful air. True religion is the +subordination of the passions to the intellect. It is not a creed; it +is a life. The theory that is afraid of investigation is not deserving +of a place in the human mind. + +I do not pretend to tell what all the truth is. I do not pretend to +have fathomed the abyss, nor to have floated on outstretched wings level +with the heights of thought. I simply plead for freedom. I denounce the +cruelties and horrors of slavery. I ask for light and air for the souls +of men. I say, take off those chains--break those manacles--free those +limbs--release that brain. I plead for the right to think--to reason-- +to investigate. I ask that the future may be enriched with the honest +thoughts of men. I implore every human being to be a soldier in the +army of progress. I will not invade the rights of others. You have no +right to erect your toll-gates upon the highways of thought. You have +no right to leap from the hedges of superstition and strike down the +pioneers of the human race. You have no right to sacrifice the +liberties of man upon the altars of ghosts. Believe what you may; +preach what you desire; have all the forms and ceremonies you please; +exercise your liberties in your own way, and extend to all others the +same right. + +I attack the monsters, the phantoms of imagination that have ruled the +world. I attack slavery. I ask for room--room for the human mind. + +Why should we sacrifice a real world that we have for one we know not +of? Why should we enslave ourselves? Why should we forge fetters for +our own hands? Why should we be the slaves of phantoms--phantoms that +we create ourselves? The darkness of barbarism was the womb of these +shadows. In the light of science they cannot cloud the sky forever. +They have reddened the hands of man with innocent blood. They made the +cradle a curse, and the grave a place of torment. + +They blinded the eyes and stopped the ears of the human race. They +subverted all the ideas of justice by promising infinite rewards for +finite virtues, and threatening infinite punishment for finite offenses. + +I plead for light, for air, for opportunity. I plead for individual +independence. I plead for the rights of labor and of thought. I plead +for a chainless future. Let the ghosts go--justice remains. Let them +disappear--men, women and children are left. Let the monster fade away +--the world remains, with its hills and seas and plains, with its seasons +of smiles and frowns, its Springs of leaf and bud, its Summer of shade +and flower, its Autumn with the laden boughs, when + + The withered banners of the corn are still, + And gathered fields are growing strangely wan, + While Death, poetic Death, with hands that color + Whate'er they touch, weaves in the Autumn wood + Her tapestries of gold and brown. + +The world remains, with its Winters and homes and firesides, where grow +and bloom the virtues of our race. All these are left; and music, with +its sad and thrilling voice, and all there is of art and song and hope, +and love and aspiration high. All these remain. Let the ghosts go--we +will worship them no more. + +Man is greater than these phantoms. Humanity is grander than all the +creeds, than all the books. Humanity is the great sea, and these +creeds and books and religions are but the waves of a day. Humanity is +the sky, and these religions and dogmas and theories are but the mists +and clouds, changing continually, destined finally to melt away. + +Let the ghosts go. We will worship them no more. Let them cover their +eyeless sockets with their fleshless hands, and fade forever from the +imaginations of men. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON HELL + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: The idea of a hell was born of revenge and +brutality on the one side, and cowardice on the other. In my judgment +the American people are too brave, too charitable, too generous, too +magnanimous to believe in the infamous dogma of an eternal hell. I have +no respect for any human being who believes in it. I have no respect for +the man who will pollute the imagination of childhood with that infamous +lie. I have no respect for the man who will add to the sorrows of this +world with the frightful dogma. I have no respect for any man who +endeavors to put that infinite cloud, that infinite shadow, over the +heart of humanity. I want to be frank with you. I dislike this doctrine, +I hate it, I despise it; I defy this doctrine. For a good many years the +learned intellects of christendom have been examining into the religions +of other countries in the world, the religions of the thousands that +have passed away. They examined into the religions of Egypt, the +religion of Greece, the religion of Rome and of the Scandinavian +countries. In the presence of the ruins of those religions the learned +men of christendom insisted that those religions were baseless, that +they are fraudulent. But they have all passed away. While this was being +done the christianity of our day applauded, and when the learned men got +through with the religions of other countries they turned their +attention to our religion. By the same mode of reasoning, by the same +methods, by the same arguments that they used with the old religions, +they were overturning the religion of our day. Why? Every religion in +this world is the work of man. Every one! Every book has been written by +man. Men existed before the books. If books had existed before man, I +might admit there was such a thing as a sacred volume. + +In my judgment man has made every religion and made every book. There is +another thing to which I wish to call your attention. Man never had an +idea; man will never have an idea, except those supplied to him by his +surroundings. Every idea in the world that man has, came to him by +nature. Man cannot conceive of anything the hint of which you have not +received from your surroundings. You can imagine an animal with the hoof +of a bison, with the pouch of the kangaroo, with the wings of an eagle, +with the beak of a bird, and with the tail of the lion; and yet every +point of this monster you borrowed from nature. Every thing you can +think of--every thing you can dream of, is borrowed from your +surroundings--everything. And there is nothing on this earth coming from +any other sphere whatever. Man has produced every religion in the world. +And why? Because each generation bodes forth the knowledge and the +belief of the people at the time it was made, and in no book is there +any knowledge found, except that of the people who wrote it. In no book +is there found any knowledge, except that of the time in which it was +written. Barbarians have produced, and always will produce barbarian +religions. Barbarians have produced, and always will produce ideas in +harmony with their surroundings, and all the religions of the past were +produced by barbarians--every one of them. We are making religions +today. We are making religions to-night. That is to say, we are changing +them, and the religion of to-day is not the religion of one year ago. +What changed it? Science has done it; education and the growing heart of +man has done it. We are making these religions every day, and just to +the extent that we become civilized ourselves will we improve the +religion of our fathers. If the religion of one hundred years ago, +compared with the religion of to-day is so low, what will it be in one +thousand years? + +If we continue making the inroads upon orthodoxy which we have been +making during the last twenty-five years, what will it be fifty years +from to-night? It will have to be remonetized by that time, or else it +will not be legal tender. In my judgment, every religion that stands by +appealing to miracles is dishonor. [sic] Every religion in the world +has denounced every other religion as a fraud. That proves to me that +they all tell the truth--about others. Why? Suppose Mr. Smith should +tell Mr. Brown that he--Smith--saw a corpse get out of the grave, and +that when he first saw it, it was covered with the worm's of death, and +that in his presence it was reclothed in healthy, beautiful flesh. And +then suppose Mr. Brown should tell Mr. Smith, "I saw the same thing +myself. I was in a graveyard once, and I saw a dead man rise." Suppose +then that Smith should say to Brown, "You're a liar," and Brown should +reply to Smith, "And you're a liar," what would you think? It would +simply be because Smith, never having seen it himself, didn't believe +Brown; and Brown, never having seen it, didn't believe Smith had. Now, +if Smith had really seen it, and Brown told him he had seen it too, then +Smith would regard it as a corroboration of his story, and he would +regard Brown as one of his principal witnesses. But, on the contrary, he +says, "You never saw it." So, when man says, "I was upon Mount Sinai, +and there I met God, and he told me, 'Stand aside and let me drown these +people';" and another man says to him, "I was upon a mountain, and there +I met the Supreme Brahma," and Moses says, "That's not true," and +contends that the other man never did see Brahma, and he contends that +Moses never did see God, that is in my judgment proof that they both +speak truly. + +Every religion, then, has charged every other religion with having been +an unmitigated fraud; and yet, if any man had ever seen the miracle +himself, his mind would be prepared to believe that another man had seen +the same thing. Whenever a man appeals to a miracle he tells what is not +true. Truth relies upon reason, and the undeviating course of all the +laws of nature. + +Now, we have a religion--that is, some people have. I do not pretend to +have religion myself. I believe in living for this world--that's my +doctrine--in living here, now, to-day, to-night--that's my doctrine, to +make everybody happy that you can. Now, let the future take care of +itself and if I ever touch the shores of another world I will be just as +ready and anxious to get into some remunerative employment as anybody +else. Now, we have got in this country a religion which men have +preached for about eighteen hundred years, and just in proportion as +their belief in that religion has grown great, men have grown mean and +wicked; just in proportion as they have ceased to believe it, men have +become just and charitable. And if they believe it to-night as they +once believed it, I wouldn't be allowed to speak in the city of New +York. It is from the coldness and infidelity of the churches that I get +my right to preach; and I say it to their credit. Now we have a +religion. What is it? They say in the first place that all this vast +universe was created by a deity. I don't know whether it was or not. +They say, too, that had it not been for the first sin of Adam there +would never have been any devil in this world, and if there had been no +devil there would have been no sin, and if there had been no sin there +never would have been any death. For my part I am glad there was +Somebody had to die to give me room, and when my turn comes I'll be +willing to let somebody else take my place. But whether there is another +life or not, if there is any being who gave me this, I shall thank him +from the bottom of my heart, because, upon the whole, my life has been a +joy. Now they say, because of this first sin all men were consigned to +eternal hell. And this because Adam was our representative. Well, I +always had an idea that my representative ought to live somewhere about +the same time I do. I always had an idea that I should have some voice +in choosing my representative. And if I had a voice I never should have +voted for the old gentleman called Adam. Now in order to regain man from +the frightful hell of eternity, Christ himself came to this world and +took upon himself flesh, and in order that we might know the road to +eternal salvation he gave us a book, and that book is called the Bible, +and whenever that Bible has been read men have immediately commenced +cutting each others' throats. Wherever that Bible has been circulated, +they have invented inquisitions and instruments of torture, and they +commenced hating each other with all their hearts. But I am told now, we +are all told that this Bible is the foundation of civilization, but I +say that this Bible is the foundation of Hell, and we never shall get +rid of the dogma of hell until we get rid of the idea that it is an +inspired book. Now, what does the Bible teach? I am not going to talk +about what this minister or that minister says it teaches; the question +is "ought a man to be sent to eternal hell for not believing this Bible +to be the work of a Merciful Father?" and the only way to find out is to +read it; and a very few people do read it now. I will read a few +passages. This is the book to be read in the schools, in order to make +our children charitable and good; this is the book that we must read in +order that our children may have ideas of mercy, charity and justice. +Does the Bible teach mercy? Now be honest, I read: "I will make mine +arrows drunk with blood; and the sword shall devour flesh." (Deut. xxxii, +42.) Pretty good start for a merciful God! "That thy foot may be dipped +in the blood of thine enemies and the tongue of thy dogs in the same." +(Ps. ixviii, 23.) Again: "And the Lord thy God will put out those +nations before thee by little and little; thou mayest not consume them +at once, lest the beasts of the field increase upon thee." (Deut. vii, +22.) + +"But the Lord thy God shall deliver them unto thee, and shall destroy +them with a mighty destruction, until they be destroyed. + +"And he shall deliver their kings into thine hand, and thou shalt +destroy their name from under heaven; there shall no man be able to +stand before thee, until thou have destroyed them." (Deut. vii, 23, 24.) + +"So Joshua came, and all the people of war with him, against them by +waters of Merom suddenly; and they fell upon them. + +"And the lord delivered them into the hand of Israel, who smote them, +and chased them unto great Zidon, and unto Misrephothimaim, and unto the +valley of Mizpeh eastward; and they smote them, until they left them +none remaining. + +"And Joshua did unto them as the Lord bade him; he houghed their horses, +and burnt their chariots with fire. + +"And Joshua at that time turned back, and took Hazor, and smote the king +thereof with the sword; for Hazor beforetime was the head of all those +kingdoms. + +"And they smote all the souls that were therein with the edge of the +sword, utterly destroying them: there was not any left to breathe; and +he burnt Hazor with fire. + +"And all the cities of those kings, and all the kings of them, did +Joshua take, and smote them with the edge of the sword, and he utterly +destroyed them, as Moses the servant of the Lord commanded. + +"But as for the cities that stood still in their strength, Israel burnt +none of them, save Hazor only; that did Joshua burn. + +"And all the spoil of these cities and the cattle, the children of Israel +took for a prey unto themselves, but every man they smote with the edge +of the sword [Brave!] until they had destroyed them, neither left they +any to breathe. [As the moral god had commanded them.] + +"As the Lord commanded Moses, his servant, so did Moses command Joshua, +and so did Joshua; he left nothing undone of all that the Lord commanded +Moses. + +"So Joshua took all that land, the hills, and all the south country, and +all the land of Goshen, and the valley of the same. + +"Even from the mount Halak, that goeth up to Seir; even unto Baalgad in +the valley of Lebanon under mount Hermon; and all their kings he took, +and smote them, and slew them. + +"Joshua made war a long time with all those kings. + +"There was not a city that made peace with the children of Israel, save +the Hivites, the inhabitants of Gideon; all other they took in battle. + +"For it was of the Lord to harden their hearts, that they should come +against Israel in battle, that he might destroy them utterly, and that +they might have no favor, but that he might destroy them, as the Lord +commanded Moses. + +"And at that time came Joshua, and cut off the Anakims from the +mountains, from Hebron, for Debit, from Anab, and from all the mountains +of Judah, and from all the mountains of Israel; Joshua destroyed them +utterly with their cities. + +"There was none of the Anakims left in the land of the children of +Israel, only in Gaza, in Gath, and in Ashdod there remained. + +"So Joshua took the whole land, according to all that the Lord said unto +Moses; and Joshua gave it for an inheritance unto Israel according to +their divisions by their tribes. And the land rested from war." (Josh. +xi, 7 to 23.) + +"When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim +peace unto it. + +"And it shall be, if it make thee answer of peace, and open unto thee, +then it shall be that all the people that is found therein shall be +tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee. + +"And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, +then thou shalt besiege it. + +"And when the Lord thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou +shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword. + +"But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in +the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and +thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the Lord thy God hath +given thee. + +"Thus shalt thou do unto all the cities which are very far off from +thee, which are not of the cities of these nations. + +"But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give +thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: + +"But thou shalt utterly destroy them." (Deut. xx, 10-17.) + +Neither the old men nor the women, nor the maidens, nor the sweet- +dimpled babe, smiling upon the lap of his mother, were to be spared. + +"And he said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel [a merciful +god indeed]. Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out +from gate to gate through-out the camp, and slay every man his brother, +and every man his companion, and every man his neighbor." (Exod. xxxii, +27.) + +Now recollect, these instructions were given to an army of invasion, and +the people who were slayed were guilty of the crime of fighting for +their homes. Oh, most merciful God! The old testament is full of curses, +vengeance, jealousy and hatred, and of barbarity and brutality. Now do +you not for one moment believe that these words were written by the most +merciful God. Don't pluck from the heart the sweet flowers of piety and +crush them by superstition. Do not believe that God ever ordered the +murder of innocent women and helpless babes. Do not let this supposition +turn your hearts into stone. When anything is said to have been written +by the most merciful God, and the thing is not merciful, then I deny it, +and say he never wrote it. I will live by the standard of reason, and if +thinking in accordance with reason takes me to perdition, then I will go +to hell with my reason rather that to heaven without it. + +Now does this bible teach political freedom, or does it teach political +tyranny? Does it teach a man to resist oppression? Does it teach a man +to tear from the throne of tyranny the crowned thing and robber called a +king? Let us see [Reading:] + +"Let every soul be subject to the higher powers: For there is no power +but of God, the powers that are ordained of God." (Rom. xii, 1.) + +All the kings, and princes, and governors, and thieves and robbers that +happened to be in authority were placed there by the infinite father of +all! + +"Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of +God." + +And when George Washington resisted the power of George the Third he +resisted the power of God. And when our fathers said, "Resistance to +tyrants is obedience to God," they falsified the bible itself. + +"For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that +which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain; for he +is the minister of God, revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth +evil. + +"Wherefore ye must needs be subject not only for wrath, but also for +conscience sake." (Rom. xiii, 4, 5.) + +I deny this wretched doctrine. Wherever the sword of rebellion is drawn +to protect the rights of man, I am a rebel. Wherever the sword of +rebellion is drawn to give man liberty, to clothe him in all his just +rights, I am on the side of that rebellion. I deny that the rulers are +crowned by the Most High; the rulers are the people, and the presidents +and others are but the servants of the people. All authority comes from +the people, and not from the aristocracy of the air. Upon these texts of +scripture which I have just read rest the thrones of Europe, and these +are the voices that are repeated from age to age by brainless kings and +heartless kings. + +Does the bible give woman her rights? Is this bible humane? Does it +treat woman as she ought to be treated, or is it barbarian? Let us see. + +"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection." (1 Timothy ii, +11.) + + +If a woman would know anything let her ask her husband. Imagine the +ignorance of a lady who had only that source of information! + +"But I suffer not a woman to teach, not to usurp authority over the +man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. [What +magnificent reason!]" + +"And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, was in the +transgression." [Splendid!] + +"But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ; and the +head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." That is to +say, there is as much difference between the woman and man as there is +between Christ and man. This is the liberty of woman. + +"For the man is not of the woman, but the woman is of the man." It was +the man's cut till that was taken, not the woman's. "Neither was the man +created for the woman." Well, what was he created for? "But the woman +was created for the man. Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as +unto the Lord." There's Liberty! + +"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of +the church; and he is the savior of the body. + +"Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to +their own husbands in everything." + +Good again! Even the savior didn't put man and woman upon an equality. +The man could divorce the wife, but the wife could not divorce the +husband, and according to the old testament, the mother had to ask for +forgiveness for being the mother of babes. Splendid! + +Here is something from the old testament: "When thou goest forth to war +against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into +thine hands, and thou has taken them captive. + +"And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and has a desire unto +her, that thou wouldst have her to thy wife. + +"Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her +head, and pare her nails." (Deut. xxi, 10-12.) + +That is in self-defense, I suppose! + +This sacred book, this foundation of human liberty, of morality, does +it teach concubinage and polygamy? Read the thirty-first chapter of +Numbers, read the twenty-first chapter of Deuteronomy, read the blessed +lives of Abraham, of David or of Solomon, and then tell me that the +sacred scripture does not teach polygamy and concubinage! All the +language of the world is not sufficient to express the infamy of +polygamy; it makes man a beast and woman a stone. It destroys the +fireside and makes virtue an outcast. And yet it is the doctrine of the +bible--the doctrine defended by Luther and Melanchthon! It takes from +our language those sweetest words, father, husband, wife, and mother, +and takes us back to barbarism, and fills our hearts with the crawling, +slimy serpents of loathsome lust. + +Does the bible teach the existence of devils? Of course it does. Yes, it +teaches not only the existence of a good being, but a bad being. This +good being had to have a home; that home was heaven. This bad being had +to have a home; and that home was hell. This hell is supposed to be +nearer to earth than I would care to have it, and to be peopled with +spirits, spooks, hobgoblins, and all the fiery shapes with which the +imagination of ignorance and fear could people that horrible place; and +the bible teaches the existence of hell and this big devil and all these +little devils. The bible teaches the doctrine of witchcraft and makes us +believe that there are sorcerers and witches, and that the dead could be +raised by the power of sorcery. Does anybody believe it now? + +"Then said Saul unto his servants, Seek me a woman that hath a +familiar spirit, that I may go to her, and inquire of her. And his +servants said to him, Behold, there is a woman that hath a familiar +spirit at Endor. + +"And Saul disguised himself and put on other raiment, and he went, and +two men with him, and they came to the woman by night; and he said, I +pray thee, divine unto me by the familiar spirit, and bring me him up +whom I shall name unto thee. [That was a pretty good spiritual seance.] + +"And the woman said unto him, Behold, thou knowest what Saul hath done, +how he hath cut off those that have familiar spirits, and the wizards, +out of the land; wherefore then layest thou a snare for my life to cause +me to die? + +"And Saul sware to her by the Lord, saying, As the Lord liveth there +shall no punishment happen to thee for this thing. + +"Then said the woman, Whom shall I bring up unto thee? And he said, +Bring me up Samuel. + +"And when the woman saw Samuel, she cried with a loud voice; and the +woman spake to Saul, saying, Why hast thou deceived me? for thou art +Saul. + +"And the king said unto her, Be not afraid; for what sawest thou? And +the woman said unto Saul, I saw gods ascending out of the earth. + +"And he said unto her, What form is he of? And she said, An old man +cometh up; and he is covered with a mantle. And Saul perceived that it +was Samuel, and he stooped with his face to the ground, and bowed +himself." (1 Saml. xxviii, 7-14.) + +In another place he declares that witchcraft is an abomination unto the +Lord. He wanted no rivals in this business. Now what does the new +testament teach? + +"Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be +tempted of the devil. + +"And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an +hungered. [sic] + +"And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, +command that these stones be made bread. + +"But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread +alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. + +"Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a +pinnacle of the temple, + +"And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, Hell cast thyself down, +for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee; and +in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy +foot against a stone. + +"Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord +thy God." (Matt. iv, 1 7.) + +Is it possible that anyone can believe that the devil absolutely took +God almighty, and put him on the pinnacle of the temple, and endeavored +to persuade him to jump down? Is it possible? + +"Again the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain and +showeth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; + +"And Saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou will +fall down and worship me. + +"Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan, for it is written, +Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve." +(Matt. iv, 8-10.) + +Now, the devil must have known at that time that he was God, and God at +that time must have known that the other was the devil. How could the +latter be conceived to have the impudence to promise God a world in +which he did not have a tax-title to an inch of land? + +"Then the devil leaveth him; and, behold, angels came and ministered +unto him." (Matt. iv, 11.) + +"And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of +the Gadarines. + +"And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of +the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, + +"Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, +not with chains, + +"Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the +chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in +pieces; neither could any man tame him, + +"And always, night and day, he was in the mountains and tombs, crying +and cutting himself with stones. + +"But when he saw Jesus afar off, he came and worshiped him. + +"And cried with a loud voice and said, What have I to do with thee, +Jesus, thou Son of the Most High God? I adjure thee by God, that thou +torment me not. + +"(For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit.) + +"And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered saying, My name is +Legion: for we are many. + +"And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the +country. + +"Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine +feeding. + +"And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine that we +may enter into them. + +"And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, +and entered into the swine; and the herd ran violently down a steep +place into the sea (they were about two thousand), and were choked in +the sea." (Mark v, 1-13.) + +Now I will ask a question: Should reasonable men, in the nineteenth +century in the United States of America, believe that that was an actual +occurrence? If my salvation depends upon believing that, I am lost. I +have never experienced the signs by which it is said a believer may be +known. I deny all the witch stories in this world. These fables of +devils have covered the world with blood; they have filled the world +with fear, and I am going to do what I can to free the world of these +insatiate monsters, small and great; they have filled the world with +monsters, they have made the world a synonym of liar and ferocity. And +it is this book that ought to be read in all the schools--this book that +teaches man to enslave his brother! If it is larceny to steal the result +of labor, how much more is it larceny to steal the laborer himself? + +"Moreover, of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among +you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, +which they begat in your land; and they shall be your possession. + +"And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, +to inherit them for a possession; they shall be your bondmen forever; +but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one +over another with rigor." (Lev. xxv, 45, 46.) + +Why? Because they are not as good as you will buy of the heathen +roundabout. + +Now these are the judgments which thou shalt set before them. + +"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve; and in the +seventh he shall go out free for nothing. + +"If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself; if he were +married, then his wife shall go out with him. + +"If his master have given him a wife, and she have borne him sons or +daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall +go out by himself. + +"And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my +children; I will not go out free. + +"Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring +him to the door, or unto the door-post; and his master shall bore his +ear through with an awl; and he shall serve him forever." (Exod. xxi, +1-6.) + +This is the doctrine which has ever lent itself to the chains of +slavery, and makes a man imprison himself rather than desert his wife +and children. I hate it. + +Now, listen to the new testament, the tidings of great joy for all +people! + +"Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the +flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto +Christ. + +"Not with eye-service, as men pleasers; but as the servants of Christ, +doing the will of God from the heart." (Eph. vi, 5, 6.) trembling, in +singleness of your heart, as unto Christ. + +"Not with eye-service, as men pleasers; but as the servants of Christ, +doing the will of God from the heart." (Eph. vi, 5,6.) Splendid +doctrine. + +"Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the +good and gentle, but also to the froward. + +"For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure +grief, suffering wrongfully." (1 Peter ii, 18, 19.) + +"Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh." + +He was afraid they might not work all the time, so he adds: + +"Not with the eye-service, as men pleasers, but in the singleness of +heart fearing God." + +Read the twenty-first chapter of Exodus, 7 to 11. + +"And if a man sell his daughter to be a maid servant, she shall not go +out as the men-servants do. + +"If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then +shall he let her be redeemed; to sell her unto a strange nation he shall +have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her. And if he have +betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of +daughters. + +"If he take him another wife, her food, her raiment and her duty of +marriage shall he not diminish. + +"And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free +without money." + +"Servants, be obedient to your masters," is the salutation of the most +merciful God to one who works for nothing and who receives upon his +naked back the lash, as legal tender for service performed. + +"Servants, be obedient to your masters," is the salutation of the most +merciful God to the slave-mother bending over her infant's grave. + +"Servants, be obedient to your masters," is the salutation to a man +endeavoring to escape pursuit, followed by savage blood-hounds, and with +his eye fixed upon the northern star. This book ought to be read in the +schools, so that our children will love liberty. + +What does this same book say of the rights of little children? Let us +see how they are treated by the "most merciful God." + +"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the +voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that when they +have chastened him, will not hearken unto them. + +"Then shall his father and his mother lay hold of him, and bring him out +unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place. + +"And they shall say unto the elders of his city, this our son is +stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice, he is a glutton, +and a drunkard. + +"And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die; +so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear +and fear." (Deut. xxi, 18-21.) + +Abraham was commanded to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice, and he +intended to obey. The boy was not consulted. + +Did you ever hear the story of Jephthah's daughter? Returning him +Jephthah said: + +"And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the Lord, and said, if thou shalt +without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, + +"Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my +house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon +shall surely be the Lord's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering. + +"So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against +them; and the Lord delivered them into his hands. + +"And he smote them from Aroer, even till thou come to Minnith, even +twenty cities, and unto the plain of the vineyards with a very great +slaughter. Thus the children of Ammon were subdued before the children +of Israel. + +"And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter +came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances; and she was his only +child: besides her he had neither son nor daughter. + +"And it came to pass when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and +said, Alas, my daughter! thou has brought me very low, and thou art one +of them that trouble me; for I have opened my mouth unto the Lord, and I +cannot go back. + +"And she said unto him, My father, if thou has opened thy mouth unto the +Lord, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; +forasmuch as the Lord hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, +even to the children of Ammon. + +"And she said unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me +alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and +bewail my virginity, I and my fellows. + +"And he said, Go. And he sent her away for two months, and she went with +her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains. + +"And it came to pass at the end of two months that she returned unto her +father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed." + +Is there in the history of the world a sadder story than this? Can a god +who would accept such a sacrifice be worthy of the worship of civilized +men? I believe in the rights of children. I plead for the republic of +home, for the democracy of the fireside, and for this I am called a +heathen and a devil by those who believe in the cheerful and comforting +doctrine of eternal damnation. + +Read the book of Job; read that God met the devil and asked him where he +had been, and he said, "Walking up and down the country;" and the Lord +said to him, "Have you noticed my man Job over here, how good he is?" +And the devil said, "Of course he's good, you give him everything he +wants. Just take away his property and he'll curse you. You just try +it." And he did try it, and took away his goods, but Job still remained +good. The devil laughed and said that he had not been tried enough. Then +the Lord touched his flesh, but he was still true. Then he took away his +children, but he remained faithful, and in the end, to show how much Job +made by his fidelity, his property was all doubled, and he had more +children than ever. If you have a child, and you love it, would you be +satisfied with a god who would destroy it, and endeavor to make it up by +giving you another that was better looking? No, you want that one; you +want no other, and yet this is the idea of the love of children taught +in the bible. + +Does the bible teach you freedom of religion? To day we say that every +man has a right to worship God or not, to worship him as he pleases. Is +it the doctrine of the bible? Let us see. + +"If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or +the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, +entice thee secretly, saying. Let us go and serve other gods, which thou +has not known, thou, nor thy fathers; + +"Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto +thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the +other end of the earth; + +"Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall +thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal +him; + +"But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to +put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. + +"And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he has +sought to thrust thee away from the Lord thy God, which brought thee out +of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage." (Deut. xiii, 6-10.) + +And do you know, according to that, if your wife--your wife that you +love as your own soul--if you had lived in Palestine, and your wife had +said to you, "Let us worship a sun whose golden beams clothe the world +in glory; let us worship the sun, let us bow to that great luminary; I +love the sun because it gave me your face; because it gave me the +features of my babe; let us worship the sun," it was then your duty to +lay your hands upon her, your eye must not pity her, but it was your +duty to cast the first stone against that tender and loving breast! I +hate such doctrine! I hate such books! I hate gods that will write such +books! I tell you that it is infamous! + +"If there be found among you, within any of thy gates which the Lord +thy God giveth thee, man or woman that hath wrought wickedness in the +sight of the Lord thy God, in transgressing his covenant, + +"And hath gone and served other gods, and worshiped them, either the +sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded; + +"And it be told thee, and thou hast heard of it, and inquired +diligently, and behold, it be true, and the thing certain, that such +abomination is wrought in Israel; + +"Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have +committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates even that man or that woman, +and shalt stone them with stones till they die." (Deut. xvii, 2-5.) + +That is the religious liberty of the bible--that's it. And this god +taught that doctrine to the Jews, and said to them, "Any one that +teaches a different religion, kill him!" Now, let me ask, and I want to +do it reverently, if, as is contended, God gave these frightful laws to +the flesh, and come among the Jews, and taught a different religion, and +these Jews, in accordance with the laws which this same God gave them, +crucified him, did he not reap what he had sown? The mercy of all this +comes in what is called "the plan of salvation." What is that plan? +According to this great plan, the innocent suffer for the guilty to +satisfy a law. + +What sort of a law must it be that would be satisfied with the suffering +of innocence? According to this plan, the salvation of the whole world +depends upon the bigotry of the Jews and the treachery of Judas. +According to the same plan, we all would have gone to eternal hell. +According to the same plan, there would have been no death in the world +if there had been no sin, and if there had been no death you and I would +not have been called into existence, and if we did not exist we could +not have been saved, so we owe our salvation to the bigotry of the Jews +and the treachery of Judas, and we are indebted to the devil for our +existence. I speak this reverently. It strikes me that what they call +the atonement is a kind of moral bankruptcy. Under its merciful +provisions man is allowed the privilege of sinning credit, and whenever +he is guilty of a mean action he says, "Charge it." In my judgment, this +kind of bookkeeping breeds extravagance in sin. Suppose we had a law in +New York that every merchant should give credit to every man who asked +it, under pain and penitentiary, and that every man should take the +benefit of the bankruptcy statute any Saturday night? Doesn't the credit +system in morals breed extravagance in sin? That's the question. Who's +afraid of punishment which is so far away? Whom does the doctrine of +hell stop? The great, the rich, the powerful? No; the poor, the weak, +the despised, the mean. Did you ever hear of a man going to hell who +died in New York worth a million of dollars, or with an income of +twenty-five thousand a year? Did you? Did you ever hear of a man going +to hell who rode in a carriage? Never. They are the gentlemen who talk +about their assets, and who say: "Hell is not for me; it is for the +poor. I have all the luxuries I want, give that to the poor." Who goes +to hell? Tramps! + +Let me tell you a story. There was once a frightful rain, and all the +animals held a convention, to see whose fault it was, and the fox +nominated the lion for chairman. The wolf seconded the motion, and the +hyena said "that suits." When the convention was called to order the fox +was called upon to confess his sins. He stated, however, that it would +be much more appropriate for the lion to commence first. Thereupon the +lion said: "I am not conscious of having committed evil. It is true I +have devoured a few men, but for what other purpose were men made?" And +they all cheered, and were satisfied. The fox gave his views upon the +goose question, and the wolf admitted that he had devoured sheep, and +occasionally had killed a shepherd, "but all acquainted with the history +of my family will bear me out when I say that shepherds have been the +enemies of my family from the beginning of the world." Then way in the +rear there arose a simple donkey, with a kind of Abrahamic countenance. +He said: "I expect it's me. I had eaten nothing for three days except +three thistles. I was passing a monastery, the monks were at mass. The +gates were open leading to a yard full of sweet clover. I knew it was +wrong but I did slip in and I took a mouthful, but my conscience smote +me and I went out;" and all the animals shouted, "He's the fellow!" and +in two minutes they had his hide on the fence. That's the kind of people +that go to hell. + +Now this doctrine of hell, that has been such a comfort to my race, +which so many ministers are pleading for, has been defended for ages by +the fathers of the church. Your preacher says that the sovereignty of +God implies that He has an absolute, unlimited and independent right to +dispose of His creatures as He will, because He made them. Has He? +Suppose I take this book and change it immediately into a servient human +being. Would I have a right to torture it because I made it? No; on the +contrary, I would say, having brought you into existence, it is my duty +to do the best for you I can. They say God has a right to damn me +because He made me. I deny it. Another one says God is not obliged to +save even those who believe in Christ, and that he can either bestow +salvation upon his children or retain it without any diminution of his +glory. Another one says God may save any sinner whatsoever, consistently +with his justice. Let a natural person--and I claim to be one--moral or +immoral, wise or unwise; let him be as just as he can, no matter what +his prayers may be, what pains he may have taken to be saved, or +whatever circumstances he may be in. God, according to this writer, can +deny him salvation, without the least disparagement of His glory. His +glories will not be in the least obscured--there is no natural man, be +his character what it may, but God may cast down to hell without being +charged with unfair dealing in any respect with regard to that man. +Theologians tell us that God's design in the creation was simply to +glorify himself. Magnificent object! + +"The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured +out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be +tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, +and in the presence of the Lamb." (Rev. xiv, 1-10.) + +Do you know nobody would have had an idea of hell in this world if it +hadn't been for volcanoes? They were looked upon as the chimneys of +hell. The idea of eternal fire never would have polluted the imagination +of man but for them. An eminent theologian, describing hell, says: +"There is no recounting the millions of ages the damned shall suffer. +All arithmetic ends here"--and all sense, too! "They shall have nothing +to do in passing away this eternity but to conflict with torments. God +shall have no other use or employment for them." These words were said +by gentlemen who died Christians, and who are now in the harp business +in the world to come. Another declares there is nothing to keep any man +or Christian out of hell except the mere pleasure of God, and their +pains never grow any easier by their becoming accustomed to them. It is +also declared that the devil goes about like a lion, ready to doom the +wicked. Did it never occur to you what a contradiction it is to say that +the devil will persecute his own friends? He wants all the recruits he +can get; why then should he persecute his friends? In my judgment he +should give them the best hell affords. + +It is in the very nature of things that torments inflicted have no +tendency to bring a wicked man to repentance. Then why torment him if it +will not do him good? It is simply unadulterated revenge. All the +punishment in the world will not reform a man, unless he knows that he +who inflicts it upon him does it for the sake of reformation, and really +and truly loves him, and has his good at heart. Punishment inflicted for +gratifying the appetite makes man afraid, but debases him. + +Various reasons are given for punishing the wicked; first, that God will +vindicate his injured majesty. Well, I am glad of that! Second, He will +glorify his justice--think of that. Third, He will show and glorify his +grace. Every time the saved shall look upon the damned in hell it will +cause in them a lively and admiring sense of the grace of God. Every +look upon the damned will double the ardor and the joy of the saints in +heaven. Can the believing husband in heaven look down upon the torments +of the unbelieving wife in hell and then feel a thrill of joy? That's +the old doctrine--not of our days; we are too civilized for that. O, but +it is the doctrine that if you saw your wife in hell--the wife you love, +who, in your last sickness, nursed you, that, perhaps supported you by +her needle when you were ill; the wife who watched by your couch night +and day, and held your corpse in her loving arms when you were dead--the +sight would give you great joy. That doctrine is not preached to-day. +They do not preach that the sight would give you joy; but they do preach +that it will not diminish your happiness. That is the doctrine of every +orthodox minister in New York, and I repeat that I have no respect for +men who preach such doctrines. The sight of the torments of the damned +in hell will increase the ecstasy of the saints forever! On this +principle man never enjoys a good dinner so much as when a fellow- +creature is dying of famine before his eyes, or he never enjoys the +cheerful warmth of his own fireside so greatly as when a poor and +abandoned wretch is dying on his doorstep. The saints enjoy the ecstasy +and the groans of the tormented are music to them. I say here to-night +that you cannot commit a sin against an infinite being. I can sin +against my brother or my neighbor, because I can injure them. There can +be no sin where there is no injury. Neither can a finite being commit +infinite sin. + +An old saint believed that hell was in the interior of the earth, and +that the rotation of the earth was caused by the souls trying to get +away from the fire. The old church at Stratford-on-Avon, Shakespeare's +home, in adorned with pictures of hell and the like. One of the pictures +represents resurrection morning. People are getting out of their graves, +and devils are catching hold of their heels. In one place there is a +huge brass monster, and devils are driving scores of lost souls into his +mouth. Over hot fires hang caldrons with fifty or sixty people in each, +and devils are poking the fires. People are hung up on hooks by their +tongues, and devils are lashing them. Up in the right hand corner are +some of the saved, with grins on their faces stretching from ear to ear. +They seem to say: "Aha, what did I tell you?" + +Some of the old saints--gentlemen who died in the odor of sanctity, and +are now in the harp business--insisted that heaven and hell would be +plainly in view of each other. Only a few years ago, Rev. J. Furness (an +appropriate name) published a little pamphlet called "A Sight in Hell." +I remember when I first read that. My little child, seven years old, was +ill and in bed. I thought she would not hear me, and I read some of it +aloud. She arose and asked, "Who says that?" I answered, "That's what +they preach in some of the churches." "I never will enter a church as +long as I live!" she said, and she never has. + +The doctrine of orthodox Christianity is that the damned shall suffer +torment forever and forever. And if you were a wanderer, footsore, +weary, with parched tongue, dying for a drop of water, and you met one +who divided his poor portion with you, and died as he saw you reviving-- +if he was an unbeliever and you a believer, and you died and went to +heaven, and he called to you from hell for a draught of water, it would +be your duty to laugh at him. + +Rev. Mr. Spurgeon says that everywhere in hell will be written the words +"for ever." They will be branded on every wave of flame, they will be +forged in every link of every chain, they will be seen in every lurid +flash of brimstone--everywhere will be those words "for ever." Everybody +will be yelling and screaming them. Just think of that picture of the +mercy and justice of the eternal Father of us all. If these words are +necessary why are they not written now everywhere in the world, on every +tree, and every field, and on every blade of grass? I say I am entitled +to have it so. I say that it is God's duty to furnish me with the +evidence. Here is another good book read in every Sunday-school--a +splendid book--Pollok's "Course of Time." Every copy in the world of +such books as that ought to be burned. Well, the author pretends to have +gone to hell, and I think that he ought to have stopped there. + +[The lecturer read the passage from the work descriptive of the torments +of the damned, and proceeded:] And that book is put into the hands of +children in order that they may love and worship the most merciful God. +In old time they had to find a place for hell and they found a hundred +places for it. One says that it was under Lake Avernus, but the +Christians thought differently. One divine tells us that it must be +below the earth because Christ descended into hell. Another gives it as +his opinion that hell is in the sun, and he tells us that nobody, +without an express revelation from God, can prove that it is not there. +Most likely. Well, he had the idea at all events of utilizing the damned +as fuel to warm the earth. But I will quote from another poet--if it is +lawful to call him a poet. I mean Tupper. + +[Colonel Ingersoll quoted from that orthodox author, and continued:] +Another divine preached a sermon no further back than 1876, in which he +said that the damned will grow worse; and the same divine says that the +devil was the first Universalist. Then I am on the side of the devil. + +The fact is, that you have got not merely to believe the bible; but you +must also believe in a certain interpretation of it, and, mind you, you +must also believe in the doctrine of the trinity. I want to explain what +that is, so that you may never have an excuse for not knowing it. + +I quote from the best theologian that ever wrote. [Then he went on to +give in substance the Athanasian definition of the trinity, winding up +with a long string of adjectives, culminating in the description +"entirely incomprehensible."] If you don't understand it after that, it +is you own fault. Now, you must believe in that doctrine. If you do not, +all the orthodox churches agree in condemning you to everlasting flames. +We have got to burn through all our lives simply with the view of making +them happy. We are taught to love our enemies, to pray for those that +persecute us, to forgive. Should not the merciful God practice what he +preaches? I say that reverently. Why should he say, "Forgive your +enemies," if he will not himself forgive? Why should he say "Pray for +those that despise and persecute you," but if they refuse to believe his +doctrine he will burn them forever? I cannot believe it. Here is a +little child, residing in the purlieus of the city--some boy who is +taught that it is his duty to steal by his mother, who applauds his +success and pats him on the head and calls him a good boy--would it be +just to condemn him to an eternity of torture? Suppose there is a God; +let us bring to this question some common sense. + +I care nothing about the doctrines of religions or creeds of the past. +Let us come to the bar of the nineteenth century and judge matter by +what we know, by what we think, by what we love. But they say to us, "If +you throw away the Bible what are we to depend on then?" But no two +persons in the world agree as to what the Bible is, what they are to +believe, or what they are not to believe. It is like a guidepost that +has been thrown down in some time of disaster, and has been put up the +wrong way. Nobody can accept its guidance, for nobody knows where it +would direct him. I say, "Tear down the useless guidepost," but they +answer, "Oh, do not do that or we will have nothing to go by." I would +say, "Old Church, you take that road and I will take this." Another +minister has said that the Bible is the great town-clock, at which we +all may set our watches. But I have said to a friend of that minister: +"Suppose we all should set our watches by that town-clock, there would +be many persons to tell you that in old times the long hand was the hour +hand, and besides, the clock hasn't been wound up for a long time." I +say let us wait till the sun rises and set our watches by nature. For my +part, I am willing to give up heaven to get rid of hell. I had rather +there should be no heaven than that any solitary soul should be +condemned to suffer forever and ever. But they tell me that the Bible is +the good book. Now, in the Old Testament there is not in my judgment a +single reference to another life. Is there a burial service mentioned in +it in which a word of hope is spoken at the grave of the dead? The idea +of eternal life was not born of any book. That wave of hope and joy ebbs +and flows, and will continue to ebb and flow as long as love kisses the +lips of death. + +Let me tell you a tale of the Persian religion of a man who, having +done good for long years of his life, presented himself at the gates of +Paradise, but the gates remained closed against him. He went back and +followed up his good works for seven years longer, and the gates of +Paradise still remaining shut against him, he toiled in works of charity +until at last they were opened unto him. Think of that, pursued the +lecturer, and send out your missionaries among those people. There is no +religion but goodness, but justice, but charity. Religion is not theory; +it is life. It is not intellectual conviction; it is divine humanity, +and nothing else. Colonel Ingersoll here told another tale from the +Hindoo, of a man who refused to enter Paradise without a faithful dog, +urging that ingratitude was the blackest of all sins. "And the God," he +said, "admitted him, dog and all." Compare that religion with the +orthodox tenets of the city of New York. + +There is a prayer which every Brahmin prays, in which he declares that +he will never enter into a final state of bliss alone, but that +everywhere he will strive for universal redemption; that never will he +leave the world of sin and sorrow, but remain suffering and striving and +sorrowing after universal salvation. Compare that with the orthodox +idea, and send out your missionaries to the benighted Hindoos. + +The doctrine of hell is infamous beyond all power to express. I wish +there were words mean enough to express my feelings of loathing on this +subject. What harm has it not done? What waste places has it not made? +It has planted misery and wretchedness in this world; it peoples the +future with selfish joys and lurid abysses of eternal flame. But we are +getting more sense every day. We begin to despise those monstrous +doctrines. If you want to better men and women, change their conditions +here. Don't promise them something somewhere else. One biscuit will do +more good than all the tracts that were ever peddled in the world. Give +them more whitewash, more light, more air. You have to change men +physically before you change them intellectually. I believe the time +will come when every criminal will be treated as we now treat the +diseased and sick, when every penitentiary will become a reformatory, +and that if criminals go to them with hatred in their bosoms, they will +leave them without feelings of revenge. Let me tell you the story of +Orpheus and Eurydice. Eurydice had been carried away by the god of hell, +and Orpheus, her lover, went in quest of her. He took with him his lyre, +and played such exquisite music that all hell was amazed. Ixion forgot +his labors at the wheel, the daughters of Danaus ceased from their +hopeless task, Tantalus forgot his thirst, even Pluto smiled, and, for +the first time in the history of hell, the eyes of the Furies were wet +with tears. As it was with the lyre of Orpheus, so it is to-day with the +great harmonies of Science, which are rescuing from the prisons of +superstition the torn and bleeding heart of man. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON INDIVIDUALITY, AN ARRAIGNMENT OF THE CHURCH. + +"His soul was like a star and dwelt apart." + + +On every hand are the enemies of individuality, and mental freedom. +Custom meets us at the cradle,--and leaves us only at the tomb. Our +first questions are answered by ignorance, and our last by superstition. +We are pushed and dragged by countless hands along the beaten track, and +our entire training can be summed up in the word "suppression." Our +desire to have a thing or to do a thing is considered as conclusive +evidence that we ought to do it. At every turn we run not to have it, +and ought not against a cherubim and a flaming sword, guarding some +entrance to the Eden of our desire. We are allowed to investigate all +subjects in which we feel no particular interest, and to express the +opinions of the majority with the utmost freedom. We are taught that +liberty of speech should never be carried to the extent of contradicting +the dead witnesses of a popular superstition. Society offers continual +rewards for self-betrayal, and they are nearly all earned and claimed, +and some are paid. + +We have all read accounts of Christian gentlemen remarking when about to +be hanged, how much better it would have been for them if they had only +followed a mother's advice! But, after all, how fortunate it is for the +world that the maternal advice has not been followed! How lucky it is +for us all that it is somewhat unnatural for a human being to obey! +Universal obedience is universal stagnation; disobedience is one of the +conditions of progress. Select any age of the world and tell me what +would have been the effect of implicit obedience. Suppose the church +had had absolute control of the human mind at any time, would not the +word liberty and progress have been blotted from the human speech? In +defiance of advice, the world has advanced. + +Suppose the astronomers had controlled the science of astronomy; suppose +the doctors had controlled the science of medicine; suppose kings had +been left to fix the form of government! Suppose our fathers had taken +the advice of Paul, who was subject to the powers that be, "because they +are ordained of God;" suppose the church could control the world today, +we would go back to chaos and old night. Philosophy would be branded as +infamous; science would again press its pale and thoughtful face +against the prison bars; and round the limbs of liberty would climb the +bigot's flame. + +It is a blessed thing that in every age some one has had individuality +enough and courage enough to stand by his own convictions; some one who +had the grit to say his say. I believe it was Magellan who said, "the +church says the earth is flat; but I have seen its shadow on the moon, +and I have more confidence even in a shadow than in the church." On the +prow of his ship were disobedience, defiance, scorn and success. + +The trouble with most people is that they bow to what is called +authority; they have a certain reverence for the old because it is old. +They think a man is better for being dead, especially if he has been +dead a long time, and that the forefathers of their nation were the +greatest and best of all mankind. All these things they implicitly +believe because it is popular and patriotic, and because they were told +so when very small, and remember distinctly of hearing mother read it +out of a book, and they are all willing to swear that mother was a good +woman. It is hard to overestimate the influence of early training--in +the direction of superstition. You first teach children that a certain +book is true--that it was written by God himself--that to question its +truth is sin, that to deny it is a crime, and that should they die +without believing that book they will be forever damned without benefit +of clergy; the consequence is that before they read that book they +believe it to be true. When they do read, their minds are wholly +unfitted to investigate its claim. They accept it as a matter of +course. + +In this way the reason is overcome, the sweet instincts of humanity are +blotted from the heart, and while reading its infamous pages even +justice throws aside her scales, shrieking for revenge; and charity, +with bloody hands, applauds a deed of murder. In this way we are taught +that the revenge of man is the justice of God, that mercy is not the +same everywhere. In this way the ideas of our race have been subverted. +In this way we have made tyrants, bigots, and inquisitors. In this way +the brain of man has become a kind of palimpsest upon which, and over +the writings of Nature, superstition has scribbled her countless lies. +Our great trouble is that most teachers are dishonest. They teach as +certainties those things concerning which they entertain doubts. They +do not say, "We think this is so." but "We know this is so." They do +not appeal to the reason of the pupil, but they command his faith. They +keep all doubts to themselves; they do not explain, they assert. All +this is infamous. In this way you make Christians, but you cannot make +men; you cannot make women. You can make followers but no leaders; +disciples, but no Christs. You may promise power, honor, and happiness +to all those who will blindly follow, but you cannot keep your promise. + +An eastern monarch said to a hermit, "Come with me and I will give you +power." "I have all the power that I know how to use," replied the +hermit. "Come," said the king, "I will give you wealth." "I have no +wants that money can supply." "I will give you honor." "Ah! honor +cannot be given; it must be earned." "Come," said the king, making a +last appeal, "and I will give you happiness." "No," said the man of +solitude; "there is no happiness without liberty, and he who follows +cannot be free." "You shall have liberty too." "Then I will stay." And +all the king's courtiers thought the hermit a fool. + +Now and then somebody examines, and, in spite of all, keeps up his +manhood and has courage to follow where his reason leads. Then the +pious get together and repeat wise saws and exchange knowing nods and +most prophetic winks. The stupidly wise sit owl-like on the dead limbs +of the tree of knowledge, and solemnly, hoot. Wealth sneers, and +fashion laughs, and respectability passes on the other side, and scorn +points with all her skinny fingers, and, like the snakes of +superstition, writhe and hiss, and slander lends her tongue, and infamy +her brand, perjury her oath, and the law its power; and bigotry +tortures and the church kills. + +The church hates a thinker precisely for the same reason that a robber +dislikes a sheriff, or that a thief despises the prosecuting witness. +Tyranny likes courtiers, flatterers, followers, fawners, and +superstition wants believers, disciples, zealots, hypocrites, and +subscribers. The church demands worship, the very thing that man should +give to no being, human or divine. To worship another is to degrade +yourself. Worship is awe, and dread, and vague fear, and blind hope. +It is the spirit of worship that elevates the one and degrades the many; +and manacles even its own hands. The spirit of worship is the spirit of +tyranny. The worshiper always regrets that he is not the worshiped. We +should all remember that the intellect has no knees, and that whatever +the attitude of the body may be, the brave soul is always found erect. +Whoever worships, abdicates. Whoever believes, at the commands of +power, tramples his own individuality beneath his feet, and voluntarily +robs himself of all that renders man superior to brute. + +The despotism of faith is justified upon the ground that Christian +countries are the grandest and most prosperous of the world. At one +time the same thing could have been truly said in India, in Egypt, in +Greece, in Rome, and in every country that has in the history of the +world, swept to empire. This argument proves too much not only, but the +assumption upon which it is based is utterly false. Numberless +circumstances and countless conditions have produced the prosperity of +the Christian world. The truth is that we have advanced in spite of +religious zeal, ignorance, and opposition. The church has won no +victories for the rights of man. Over every fortress of tyranny has +waved, and still waves, the banner of the church. Wherever brave blood +has been shed the sword of the church has been wet. On every chain has +been the sign of the cross. The alter and the throne have leaned +against and supported each other. Who can appreciate the infinite +impudence of one man assuming to think for others? Who can imagine the +impudence of a church that threatens to inflict eternal punishment upon +those who honestly reject its claims and scorn its pretensions? In the +presence of the unknown we have all an equal right to guess. + +Over the vast plain called life we are all travelers, and not one +traveler is perfectly certain that he is going in the right direction. +True it is that no other plain is so well supplied with guideboards. At +every turn and crossing you find them, and upon each one is written the +exact direction and distance. One great trouble is, however, that these +boards are all different, and the result is that most travelers are +confused in proportion to the number they read. Thousands of people are +around each of these signs, and each one is doing his best to convince +the traveler that his particular board is the only one upon which the +least reliance can be placed, and that if his road is taken the reward +for so doing will be infinite and eternal, while all the other roads are +said to lead to hell, and all the makers of the other guideboards are +declared to be heretics, hypocrites, and liars. "Well," says a traveler +"you may be right in what you say, but allow me at least to read some of +the other directions and examine a little into their claims. I wish to +rely a little upon my own judgment in a matter of such great +importance." "No sir!" shouts the zealot; "that is the very thing you +are not allowed to do. You must go my way, without investigation or you +are as good as damned already." "Well," says the traveler, "if that is +so, I believe I had better go your way." And so most of them go along, +taking the word of those who know as little as themselves. Now and then +comes one who, in spite of all threats, calmly examines the claims of +all, and as calmly rejects them all. These travelers take roads of +their own, and are denounced by all the others as infidels and atheists. + +In my judgment every human being should take a road of his own. Every +mind should be true to itself; should think, investigate and conclude +for itself. This is a duty alike incumbent upon pauper and prince. +Every soul should repel dictation and tyranny, no matter from what +source they come--from earth or heaven, from men or gods. Besides, every +traveler upon this vast plain should give to every other traveler his +best idea as to the road that should be taken. Each is entitled to the +honest opinion of all. And there is but one way to get an honest +opinion upon any subject whatever. The person giving the opinion must +be free from fear. The merchant must not fear to lose his custom, the +doctor his practice, nor the preacher his pulpit. There can be no +advance without liberty. Suppression of honest inquiry is retrogression, +and must end in intellectual night. The tendency of orthodox religion +today is towards mental slavery and barbarism. Not one of the orthodox +ministers dare preach what he thinks if he knows that a majority of his +congregation think otherwise. He knows that every member of his church +stands guard over his brain with a creed, like a club, in his hand. He +knows that he is not expected to search after the truth, but that he is +employed to defend the creed. Every pulpit is a pillory in which stands +a hired culprit, defending the justice of his own imprisonment. + +Is it desirable that all should be exactly alike in their religious +convictions? Is any such thing possible? Do we not know that there are +no two persons alike in the whole world? No two trees, no two leaves, +no two anythings that are alike? Infinite diversity is the law. +Religion tries to force all minds into one mold. Knowing that all +cannot believe, the church endeavors to make all say that they believe. +She longs for the unity of hypocrisy, and detests the splendid diversity +of individuality and freedom. + +Nearly all people stand in great horror of annihilation, and yet to give +up your individuality is to annihilate yourself. Mental slavery is +mental death, and every man who has given up his intellectual freedom is +the living coffin of his dead soul. In this sense every church is a +cemetery and every creed an epitaph. We should all remember that to be +like other folks is to be unlike ourselves, and that nothing can be more +detestable in character than servile imitation. The great trouble with +imitation is that we are apt to ape those who are in reality far below +us. After all, the poorest bargain that a human being can make is to +trade off his individuality for what is called respectability. + +There is no saying more degrading than this: "It is better to be the +tail of a lion than the head of a dog." It is a responsibility to think +and act for yourself. Most people hate responsibility; therefore they +join something and become the tail of some lion. They say, "My party can +act for me--my church can do my thinking. It is enough for me to pay +taxes and obey the lion to which I belong without troubling myself about +the right, the wrong, or the why or the wherefore of anything whatever." +These people are respectable. They hate reformers, and dislike +exceedingly to have their minds disturbed. They regard convictions as +very disagreeable things to have. They love forms, and enjoy, beyond +everything else, telling what a splendid tail their lion has, and what a +troublesome dog their neighbor is. Besides this natural inclination to +avoid personal responsibility is and always has been the fact that every +religionist has warned men against the presumption and wickedness of +thinking for themselves. The reason has been denounced by all +Christendom as the only unsafe guide. The church has left nothing +undone to prevent, man following the logic of his brain. The plainest +facts have been covered with the mantle of mystery. The grossest +absurdities have been declared to be self-evident facts. The order of +nature has been, as it were, reversed, in order that the hypocritical +few might govern the honest many. The man who stood by the conclusion +of his reason was denounced as a scorner and hater of God and his holy +church. From the organization of the first church until this moment +every member has borne the marks of collar and chain, and whip. No man +ever seriously attempted to reform a church without being cast out and +hunted down by the hounds of hypocrisy. The highest crime against a +creed is to change it. Reformation is treason. + +Thousands of young men are being educated at this moment by the various +churches. What for? In order that they may be prepared to investigate +the phenomena by which we are surrounded? No! The object, and the only +object, is that they may be prepared to defend a creed. That they may +learn the arguments of their respective churches and repeat them in the +dull ears of a thoughtless congregation. If one after being thus +trained at the expense of the Methodists turns Presbyterian or Baptist, +he is denounced as an ungrateful wretch. Honest investigation is +utterly impossible within the pale of any church, for the reason that if +you think the church is right you will not investigate, and if you think +it wrong, the church will investigate you. The consequence of this is +that most of the theological literature is the result of suppression, of +fear, of tyranny, and hypocrisy. + +Every orthodox writer necessarily said to himself, "If I write that, my +wife and children may want for bread, I will be covered with shame and +branded with infamy, but if I write this, I will gain position, power +and honor. My church rewards defenders and burns reformers." Under +these conditions, all your Scotts, Henrys and McKnights have written; +and weighed in these scales what are their commentaries worth? They are +not the ideas and decisions of honest judges, but the sophisms of the +paid attorneys of superstition. Who can tell what the world has lost by +this infamous system of suppression? How many grand thinkers died with +the mailed hand of superstition on their lips? How many splendid ideas +have perished in the cradle of the brain, strangled in the poisonous +coils of that python, the church! + +For thousands of years a thinker was hunted down like an escaped +convict. To him, who had braved the church, every door was shut, every +knife was open. To shelter him from the wild storm, to give him a crust +of bread when dying, to put a cup of water to his cracked and bleeding +lips; these were all crimes, not one of which the church ever did +forgive; and with the justice taught of God his helpless children were +exterminated as scorpions and vipers. + +Who at the present day can imagine the courage, the devotion to +principle, the intellectual and moral grandeur it once required to be an +infidel, to brave the church, her racks, her fagots, her dungeons, her +tongues of fire--to defy and scorn her heaven and her devil and her God? +They were the noblest sons of earth. They were the real saviors of our +race, the destroyers of superstition and the creators of science. They +were the real Titans who bared their grand foreheads to all the +thunderbolts of all the gods. The church has been, and still is, the +great robber. She has rifled not only the pockets but the brains of the +world. She is the stone at the sepulcher of liberty; the upas tree in +whose shade the intellect of man has withered; the gorgon beneath whose +gaze the human heart has turned to stone. + +Under her influence even the Protestant mother expects to be in heaven, +while her brave boy, who is fighting for the rights of man, shall writhe +in hell. It is said that some of the Indian tribes place the heads of +their children between pieces of bark until the form of the skull is +permanently changed. To us this seems a most shocking custom, and yet, +after all, is it as bad as to put the souls of our children in the +straight-jacket of a creed, to so utterly deform their minds that they +regard the God of the bible as a being of infinite mercy, and really +consider it a virtue to believe a thing just because it seems +unreasonable? Every child in the Christian world has uttered its +wondering protest against this outrage. All the machinery of the church +is constantly employed in thus corrupting the reason of children. In +every possible way they are robbed of their own thoughts and forced to +accept the statements of others. Every Sunday-school has for its object +the crushing out of every germ of individuality. The poor children are +taught that nothing can be more acceptable to God than unreasoning +obedience and eyeless faith, and that to believe that God did an +impossible act is far better than to do a good one yourself. They are +told that all the religions have been simply the John the Baptist of +ours; that all the gods of antiquity have withered and sunken into the +Jehovah of the Jews; that all the longings and aspirations of the race +are realized in the motto of the Evangelical Alliance, "Liberty in non- +essentials;" that all there is, or ever was of religion can be found in +the apostle's creed; that there is nothing left to be discovered; that +all the thinkers are dead, and all the living should simply be +believers; that we have only to repeat the epitaph found on the grave of +wisdom; that graveyards are the best possible universities, and that the +children must be forever beaten with the bones of the fathers. + +It has always seemed absurd to suppose that a God would choose for his +companions during all eternity the dear souls whose highest and only +ambition is to obey. He certainly would now and then be tempted to make +the same remark made by an English gentleman to his poor guest. This +gentleman had invited a man in humble circumstances to dine with him. +The man was so overcome with honor that to everything the gentleman said +he replied, "Yes." Tired at last with the monotony of acquiescence, the +gentleman cried out, "For God's sake, my good man, say 'No' just once, +so there will be two of us." + +Is it possible that an infinite God created this world simply to be the +dwelling-place of slaves and serfs? Simply for the purpose of raising +orthodox Christians; that he did a few miracles to astonish them; that +all the evils of life are simply his punishments, and that he is finally +going to turn heaven into a kind of religious museum, filled with +Baptist barnacles, petrified Presbyterians, and Methodist mummies? I +want no heaven for which I must give my reason; no happiness in exchange +for my liberty, and no immortality that demands the surrender of my +individuality. Better rot in the windowless tomb to which there is no +door but the red mouth of the pallid worm, than wear the jeweled collar +even of a God. + +Religion does not and cannot contemplate man as free. She accepts only +the homage of the prostrate, and scorns the offerings of those who stand +erect. She cannot tolerate the liberty of thought. The wide and sunny +fields belong not to her domain. The star-lit heights of genius and +individuality are above and beyond her appreciation and power. Her +subjects cringe at her feet covered with the dust of obedience. They +are not athletes standing posed by rich life and brave endeavor like the +antique statues, but shriveled deformities studying with furtive glance +the cruel face of power. + +No religionist seems capable of comprehending this plain truth. There is +this difference between thought and action: For our actions we are +responsible to ourselves and to those injuriously affected; for +thoughts there can, in the nature of things, be no responsibility to +gods or men, here or hereafter. And yet the Protestant has vied with +the Catholic in denouncing freedom of thought, and while I was taught to +hate Catholicism with every drop of my blood, it is only justice to say +that in all essential particulars it is precisely the same as every +other religion. Luther denounced mental liberty with all the coarse and +brutal vigor of his nature; Calvin despised from the very bottom of his +petrified heart anything that even looked like religious toleration, and +solemnly declared to advocate it was to crucify Christ afresh. All the +founders of all the orthodox churches have advocated the same infamous +tenet. The truth is that what is called religion is necessarily +inconsistent with free thought. + +A believer is a songless bird in a cage, a freethinker is an eagle +parting the clouds with tireless wings. + +At present, owing to the inroads that have been made by liberals and +infidels, most of the churches pretend to be in favor of religious +liberty. Of these churches we will ask this question: "How can a man +who conscientiously believes in religious liberty worship a God who does +not?" They say to us: "We will not imprison you on account of your +belief, but our God will. We will not burn you because you throw away +the sacred scriptures; but their Author will," "We think it an infamous +crime to persecute our brethren for opinion's sake; but the God whom we +ignorantly worship will on that account damn his own children forever." +Why is it that these Christians do not only detest the infidels, but so +cordially despise each other? Why do they refuse to worship in the +temples of each other? Why do they care so little for the damnation of +men, and so much for the baptism of children? Why will they adorn their +churches with the money of thieves, and flatter vice for the sake of +subscription? Why will they attempt to bribe science to certify to the +writings of God? Why do they torture the words of the great into an +acknowledgment of the truth of Christianity? Why do they stand with hat +in hand before presidents, kings, emperors and scientists, begging like +Lazarus for a few crumbs of religious comfort? Why are they so +delighted to find an allusion to providence in the message of Lincoln? +Why are they so afraid that some one will find out that Paley wrote an +essay in favor of the Epicurean philosophy, and that Sir Isaac Newton +was once an infidel? Why are they so anxious to show that Voltaire +recanted, that Paine died palsied with fear; that the Emperor Julian +cried out, "Galilean, thou hast conquered;" that Gibbon died a +Catholic; that Agassiz had a little confidence in Moses; that the old +Napoleon was once complimentary enough to say that he thought Christ +greater than himself or Caesar; that Washington was caught on his knees +at Valley Forge; that blunt old Ethan Allen told his child to believe +the religion of her mother; that Franklin said, "Don't unchain the +tiger;" that Volney got frightened in a storm at sea, and that Oakes +Ames was a wholesale liar? + +Is it because the foundation of their temple is crumbling, because the +walls are cracked, the pillars leaning, the great dome swaying to its +fall, and because science has written over the high altar its mene, +mene, tekel, upharsin, the old words destined to be the epitaph of all +religions? + +Every assertion of individual independence has been a step towards +infidelity. Luther started toward Humboldt, Wesley toward Bradlaugh. To +really reform the church is to destroy it. Every new religion has a +little less superstition than the old, so that the religion of science +is but a question of time. I will not say the church has been an +unmitigated evil in all respects. Its history is infamous and glorious. +It has delighted in the production of extremes. It has furnished +murderers for its own martyrs. It has sometimes fed the body, but has +always starved the soul. It has been a charitable highwayman, a +generous pirate. It has produced some angels and a multitude of devils. +It has built more prisons than asylums. It made a hundred orphans while +it cared for one. In one hand it carried the alms-dish, and in the other +a sword. It has founded schools and endowed universities for the purpose +of destroying true learning. It filled the world with hypocrites and +zealots, and upon the cross of its own Christ it crucified the +individuality of man. It has sought to destroy the independence of the +soul, and put the world upon its knees. This is its crime. The +commission of this crime was necessary to its existence. In order to +compel obedience it declared that it had the truth and all the truth; +that God had made it the keeper of all his secrets; his agent and his +vice-agent. It declared that all other religions were false and +infamous. It rendered all compromises impossible, and all thought +superfluous. Thought was an enemy, obedience was its friend. +Investigation was fraught with danger; therefore investigation was +suppressed. The holy of holies was behind the curtain. All this was +upon the principle that forgers hate to have the signature examined by +an expert, and that imposture detests curiosity. + +"He that hath ears to hear let him hear," has always been one of the +favorite texts of the church. + +In short, Christianity has always opposed every forward movement of the +human race. Across the highway of progress it has always been building +breastworks of bibles, tracts, commentaries, prayerbooks, creeds, dogmas +and platforms, and at every advance the Christians have gathered behind +these heaps of rubbish and shot the poisoned arrows of malice at the +soldiers of freedom. + +And even the liberal Christian of today has his holy of holies, and in +the niche of the temple of his heart has his idol. He still clings to a +part of the old superstition, and all the pleasant memories of the old +belief linger in the horizon of his thoughts like a sunset. We +associate the memory of those we love with the religion of our +childhood. It seems almost a sacrilege to rudely destroy the idols that +our fathers worshiped, and turn their sacred and beautiful truths into +the silly fables of barbarism. Some throw away the old testament and +cling to the new, while others give up everything except the idea that +there is a personal God, and that in some wonderful way we are the +objects of His care. + +Even this, in my opinion, as science, the great iconoclast, marches +onward, will have to be abandoned with the rest. The great ghost will +surely share the fate of the little ones. They fled at the first +appearance of the dawn, and the other will vanish with the perfect day. +Until then, the independence of man is little more than a dream. +Overshadowed by an immense personality--in the presence of the +irresponsible and the infinite, the individuality of man is lost, and he +falls prostrate in the very dust of fear. Beneath the frown of the +absolute, man stands a wretched, trembling slave--beneath his smile be +is at best only a fortunate serf. Governed by a being whose arbitrary +will is law, chained to the chariot of power, his destiny rests in the +pleasure of the unknown. Under these circumstances what wretched object +can he have in lengthening out his aimless life? + +And yet, in most minds, there is a vague fear of what the gods may do, +and the safe side is considered the best side. + +A gentleman walking among the ruins of Athens came upon a fallen statue +of Jupiter. Making an exceedingly low bow, he said: "Jupiter, I salute +thee." He then added: "Should you ever get up in the world again, do +not forget, I pray you, that I treated you politely while you were +prostrate." + +We have all been taught by the church that nothing is so well calculated +to excite the ire of Deity as to express a doubt as to His existence, +and that to deny it is an unpardonable sin. Numerous well-attested +instances were referred to, of atheists being struck dead for denying +the existence of God. According to these religious people, God is +infinitely above us in every respect, infinitely merciful, and yet He +cannot bear to hear a poor finite man honestly question His existence. +Knowing as He does that His children are groping in darkness and +struggling with doubt and fear; knowing that He could enlighten them if +He would, He still holds the expression of a sincere doubt as to His +existence the most infamous of crimes. + +According to the orthodox logic, God having furnished us with imperfect +minds has a right to demand a perfect result. Suppose Mr. Smith should +overhear a couple of small bugs holding a discussion as to the existence +of Mr. Smith, and suppose one should have the temerity to declare upon +the honor of a bug that he had examined the whole question to the best +of his ability, including the argument based upon design, and had come +to the conclusion that no man by the name of Smith had ever lived. +Think then of Mr. Smith flying into an ecstasy of rage, crushing the +atheist bug beneath his iron heel, while he exclaimed, "I will teach +you, blasphemous wretch, that Smith is a diabolical fact!" What then +can we think of God who would open the artillery of heaven upon one of +his own children for simply expressing his honest thought? And what +man, who really thinks, can help repeating the words of Aeneas, "If +there are gods they certainly pay no attention to the affairs of man." + +In religious ideas and conceptions there has been for ages a slow and +steady development. At the bottom of the ladder (speaking of modern +times) is Catholicism, and at the top are atheism and science. The +intermediate rounds of this ladder are occupied by the various sects, +whose name is legion. + +But whatever may be the truth on any subject has nothing to do with our +right to investigate that subject, and express any opinion we may form. +All that I ask is the right I freely accord to all others. + +A few years ago a Methodist clergyman took it upon himself to give me a +piece of friendly advice. "Although you may disbelieve the bible," said +he, "you ought not to say so. That you should keep to yourself." "Do you +believe the bible?" said I. He replied, "Most assuredly." To which I +retorted, "Your answer conveys no information to me. You may be +following your own advice. You told me to suppress my opinions. Of +course a man who will advise others to dissimulate will not always be +particular about telling the truth himself." + +It is the duty of each and every one to maintain his individuality. +"This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the +night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." It is a +magnificent thing to be the sole proprietor of yourself. It is a +terrible thing to wake up at night and say: "There is nobody in this +bed!" It is humiliating to know that your ideas are all borrowed, and +that you are indebted to your memory for your principles, that your +religion is simply one of your habits, and that you would have +convictions if they were only contagious. It is mortifying to feel that +you belong to a mental mob and cry "crucify him" because the others do. +That you reap what the great and brave have sown, and that you can +benefit the world only by leaving it. + +Surely every human being ought to attain to the dignity of the unit. +Surely it is worth something to be one and to feel that the census of +the universe would not be complete without counting you. + +Surely there is grandeur in knowing that in the realm of thought, at +least, you are without a chain; that you have the right to explore all +heights and all depths; that there are no walls, fences, prohibited +places, nor sacred corners in all the vast expanse of thought; that +your intellect owes no allegiance to any being, human or divine; that +you hold all in fee and upon no condition and by no tenure whatever; +that in the world of mind you are relieved from all personal dictation, +and from the ignorant tyranny of majorities. + +Surely it is worth something to feel that there are no priests, no +popes, no parties, no governments, no kings, no gods to whom your +intellect can be compelled to pay a reluctant homage. + +Surely it is a joy to know that all the cruel ingenuity of bigotry can +devise no prison, no lock, no cell, in which for one instant to confine +a thought; that ideas cannot be dislocated by racks, nor crushed in +iron boots, nor burned with fire. + +Surely it is sublime to think that the brain is a castle, and that +within its curious bastions and winding halls the soul, in spite of all +worlds and all beings, is the supreme sovereign of itself. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON HUMBOLDT + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: Great minds seem to be a part of the infinite. +Those possessing them seem to be brothers of the mountains and the seas. + +Humboldt was one of these. He was one of the few great enough to rise +above the superstition and prejudice of his time, and to know that +experience, observation and reason are the only basis of knowledge. + +He became one of the greatest of men in spite of having been born rich +and noble--in spite of position. I say in spite of these things, +because wealth and position are generally the enemies of genius, and the +destroyers of talent. + +It is often said of this or that man that he is a self-made man--that he +was born of the poorest and humblest parents, and that with every +obstacle to overcome he became great. This is a mistake. Poverty is +generally an advantage. Most of the intellectual giants of the world +have been nursed at the sad but loving breast of poverty. Most of those +who have climbed highest on the shining ladder of fame commenced at the +lowest round. They were reared in the straw-thatched cottages of +Europe, in the log-houses of America, in the factories of the great +cities, in the midst of toil, in the smoke and din of labor, and on the +verge of want. They were rocked by the feet of mothers whose hands, at +the same time, were busy with the needle or the wheel. + +It is hard for the rich to resist the thousand allurements of pleasure, +and so I say that Humboldt, in spite of having been born to wealth and +high social position, became truly and grandly great. + +In the antiquated and romantic castle of Tegel, by the side of the pine +forest, on the shore of the charming lake, near the beautiful city of +Berlin, the great Humboldt, one hundred years ago to-day, was born, and +there he was educated after the method suggested by Rousseau--Campe, the +philologist and critic, and the intellectual Kunth being his tutors. +There he received the impressions that determined his career; there the +great idea that the universe is governed by law took possession of his +mind, and there he dedicated his life to the demonstration of this +sublime truth. + +He came to the conclusion that the source of man's unhappiness is his +ignorance of nature. + +He longed to give a physical description of the universe--a grand +picture of nature; to account for all phenomena; to discover the laws +governing the world; to do away with that splendid delusion called +special-providence, and to establish the fact that the universe is +governed by law. + +To establish this truth was, and is, of infinite importance to mankind. +That fact is the death-knell of superstition; it gives liberty to every +soul, annihilates fear, and ushers in the Age of Reason. + +The object of this illustrious man was to comprehend the phenomena of +physical objects in their general connection, and to represent nature as +one great whole, moved and animated by internal forces. + +For this purpose he turned his attention to descriptive botany, +traversing distant lands and mountain ranges to ascertain with certainty +the geographical distribution of plants. He investigated the laws +regulating the differences of temperature and climate, and the changes +of the atmosphere. He studied the formation of the earth's crust, +explored the deepest mines, ascended the highest mountains, and wandered +through the craters of extinct volcanoes. + +He became thoroughly acquainted with chemistry, with astronomy, with +terrestrial magnetism; and as the investigation of one subject leads to +all others, for the reason that there is a mutual dependence and a +necessary connection between all facts, so Humboldt became acquainted +with all the known sciences. + +His fame does not depend so much upon his discoveries (although he +discovered enough to make hundreds of reputations) as upon his vast and +splendid generalizations. + +He was to science what Shakespeare was to the drama. + +He found, so to speak, the world full of unconnected facts, all portions +of a vast system--parts of a great machine; he discovered the +connection that each bears to all, put them together, and demonstrated +beyond all contradiction that the earth is governed by law. + +He knew that to discover the connection of phenomena is the primary aim +of all natural investigation. He was infinitely practical. + +Origin and destiny were questions with which he had nothing to do. + +His surroundings made him what he was. + +In accordance with a law not fully comprehended, he was a production of +his time. + +Great men do not live alone; they are surrounded by the great; they are +the instruments used to accomplish the tendencies of their generation; +they fulfill the prophecies of their age. + +Nearly all of the scientific men of the eighteenth century had the same +idea entertained by Humboldt, but most of them in a dim and confused +way. There was, however, a general belief among the intelligent that +the world is governed by law, and that there really exists a connection +between all facts, or that all facts are simply the different aspects of +a general fact, and that the task of science is to discover this +connection; to comprehend this general fact or to announce the laws of +things. + +Germany was full of thought, and her universities swarmed with +philosophers and grand thinkers in every department of knowledge. + +Humboldt was the friend and companion of the greatest poets, historians, +philologists, artists, statesmen, critics and logicians of his time. + +He was the companion of Schiller, who believed that man would be +regenerated through the influence of the beautiful; of Goethe, the +grand patriarch of German literature; of Wieland, who has been called +the Voltaire of Germany; of Herder, who wrote the outlines of a +philosophical history of man; of Kotzebue, who lived in the world of +romance; of Schleiermacher, the pantheist; of Schlegel, who gave to his +country the enchanted realm of Shakespeare--of the sublime Kant, author +of the first work published in Germany on Pure Reason; of Fichte, the +infinite idealist; of Schopenhauer, the European Buddhist who followed +the great Gautama to the painless and dreamless Nirvana, and of hundreds +of others whose names are familiar to and honored by the scientific +world. + +The German mind had been grandly roused from the long lethargy of the +dark ages of ignorance, fear and faith. Guided by the holy light of +reason, every department of knowledge was investigated, enriched and +illustrated. + +Humboldt breathed the atmosphere of investigation; old ideas were +abandoned; old creeds, hallowed by centuries, were thrown aside; +thought became courageous; the athlete, Reason, challenged to mortal +combat the monsters of superstition. + +No wonder that under these influences Humboldt formed the great purpose +of presenting to the world a picture of nature, in order that men might, +for the first time, behold the face of their Mother. + +Europe becoming too small for his genius, he visited the tropics in the +new world, where, in the most circumscribed limits, he could find the +greatest number of plants, of animals, and the greatest diversity of +climate, that he might ascertain the laws governing the production and +distribution of plants, animals and men, and the effects of climate upon +them all. He sailed along the gigantic Amazon--the mysterious Orinoco-- +traversed the Pampas--climbed the Andes until he stood upon the crags of +Chimborazo, more than eighteen thousand feet above the level of the sea, +and climbed on until blood flowed from his eyes and lips. For nearly +five years he pursued his investigations in the new world, accompanied +by the intrepid Bonpland. Nothing escaped his attention. He was the +best intellectual organ of these new revelations of science. He was +calm, reflective and eloquent; filled with a sense of the beautiful, +and the love of truth. His collections were immense, and valuable +beyond calculation to every science. He endured innumerable hardships, +braved countless dangers in unknown and savage lands, and exhausted his +fortune for the advancement of true learning. + +Upon his return to Europe he was hailed as the second Columbus; as the +scientific discoverer of America; as the revealer of a new world; as +the great demonstrator of the sublime truth that universe is governed by +law. + +I have seen a picture of the old man, sitting upon a mountain side-- +above him the eternal snow; below, smiling valley of the tropics, +filled with vine and palm. His chin upon his breast, his eyes deep, +thoughtful and calm, his forehead majestic--grander than the mountain +upon which he sat. "Crowned with the snow of his whitened hair," he +looked the intellectual autocrat of this world. + +Not satisfied with his discoveries in America, he crossed the steppes of +Asia, the wastes of Siberia, the great Ural range, adding to the +knowledge of mankind at every step. His energy acknowledged no +obstacle, his life knew no leisure; every day was filled with labor and +with thought. He was one of the apostles of science, and he served his +divine master with a self-sacrificing zeal that knew no abatement--with +an ardor that constantly increased, and with a devotion unwavering and +constant as the polar star. + +In order that the people at large might have the benefit of his numerous +discoveries, and his vast knowledge, he delivered at Berlin a course of +lectures, consisting of sixty-one free addresses, upon the following +subjects: + +Five upon the nature and limits of physical geography. + +Three were devoted to a history of science. + +Two to inducements to a study of natural science. + +Sixteen on the heavens. + +Five on the form, density, latent heat, and magnetic power of the earth, +and to the polar light. + +Four were on the nature of the crust of the earth, on hot springs, +earthquakes and volcanoes. + +Two on mountains, and the type of their formation. + +Two on the form of the earth's surface, on the connection of continents, +and the elevation of soil over ravines. + +Three on the sea as a globular fluid surrounding the earth. + +Ten on the atmosphere--as an elastic fluid surrounding the earth, and on +the distribution of heat. + +One on the geographic distribution of organized matter in general, + +Three on the geography of plants. + +Three on the geography of animals; and + +Two on the races of men. + +These lectures are what is known as the Cosmos, and present a scientific +picture of the world--of infinite diversity in unity; of ceaseless +motion in the eternal grasp of law. + +These lectures contain the result of his investigation, observation and +experience; they furnish the connection between phenomena; they +disclose some of the changes through which the earth has passed in the +countless ages; the history of vegetation, animals and men; the effects +of climate upon individuals and nations; the relation we sustain to +other worlds, and demonstrate that all phenomena, whether insignificant +or grand, exist in accordance with inexorable law. + +There are some truths, however, that we never should forget: +Superstition has always been the relentless enemy of science; faith has +been a hater of demonstration; hypocrisy has been sincere only in its +dread of truth, and all religions are inconsistent with mental freedom. + +Since the murder of Hypatia in the fifth century, when the polished +blade of Greek philosophy was broken by the club of ignorant +Catholicism, until today, superstition has detested every effort of +reason. + +It is almost impossible to conceive of the completeness of the victory +that the church achieved over philosophy. For ages science was utterly +ignored; thought was a poor slave; an ignorant priest was master of +the world; faith put out the eyes of the soul; the reason was a +trembling coward; the imagination was set on fire of hell; every human +feeling was sought to be suppressed; love was considered infinitely +sinful; pleasure was the road to eternal fire, and God was supposed to +be happy only when his children were miserable. The world was governed +by an Almighty's whim; prayers could change the order of things, halt +the grand procession of nature; could produce rain, avert pestilence, +famine, and death in all its forms. There was no idea of the certain; +all depended upon divine pleasure--or displeasure, rather; heaven was +full of inconsistent malevolence, and earth of ignorance. Everything +was done to appease the divine wrath; every public calamity was caused +by the sins of the people; by a failure to pay tithes, or for having, +even in secret, felt a disrespect for a priest. To the poor multitude +the earth was a kind of enchanted forest, full of demons ready to +devour, and theological serpents lurking, with infinite power, to +fascinate and torture the unhappy and impotent soul. Life to them was a +dim and mysterious labyrinth, in which they wandered weary, and lost, +guided by priests as bewildered as themselves, without knowing that at +every step the Ariadne of reason offered them the long lost clue. + +The very heavens were full of death; the lightning was regarded as the +glittering vengeance of God, and the earth was thick with snares for the +unwary feet of man. The soul was supposed to be crowded with the wild +beasts of desire; the heart to be totally corrupt, prompting only to +crime; virtues were regarded as deadly sins in disguise; there was a +continual warfare being waged between the Deity and the devil for the +possession of every soul, the latter generally being considered +victorious. The flood, the tornado, the volcano, were all evidences of +the displeasure of heaven and the sinfulness of man. The blight that +withered, the frost that blackened, the earthquake that devoured, were +the messengers of the creator. + +The world was governed by fear. + +Against all the evils of nature there was known only the defense of +prayer, of fasting, of credulity, and devotion. Man, in his +helplessness, endeavored to soften the heart of God. The faces of the +multitude were blanched with fear, and wet with tears; they were the +prey of hypocrites, kings and priests. + +My heart bleeds when I contemplate the sufferings endured by the +millions now dead; of those who lived when the world appeared to be +insane; when the heavens were filled with an infinite HORROR, who +snatched babes, with dimpled hands and rosy cheeks, from the white +breasts of mothers and dashed them into an abyss of eternal flame. + +Slowly, beautifully, like the coming of the dawn, came the grand truth +that the universe is governed by law--that disease fastens itself upon +the good and upon the bad; that the tornado cannot be stopped by +counting beads; that the rushing lava pauses not for bended knees, the +lightning for clasped and uplifted hands, nor the cruel waves of the sea +for prayer; that paying tithes causes rather than prevents famine; +that pleasure is not sin; that happiness is the only good; that demons +and gods exist only in the imagination; that faith is a lullaby, sung +to put the soul to sleep; that devotion is a bribe that fear offers to +supposed power; that offering rewards in another world for obedience in +this, is simply buying a soul on credit; that knowledge consists in +ascertaining the laws of nature, and that wisdom is the science of +happiness. Slowly, grandly, beautifully, these truths are dawning upon +mankind. + +From Copernicus we learned that this earth is only a grain of sand on +the infinite shore of the universe; that everywhere we are surrounded +by shining worlds vastly greater than our own, all moving and existing +in accordance with law. True, the earth began to grow small, but man +began to grow great. + +The moment the fact was established that other worlds are governed by +law, it was only natural to conclude that our little world was also +under its dominion. The old theological method of accounting for +physical phenomena by the pleasure and displeasure of the Deity was, by +the intellectual, abandoned. They found: that disease, death, life, +thought, heat, cold, the seasons, the winds, the dreams of man, the +instinct of animals--in short, that all physical and mental phenomena +are governed by law, absolute, eternal and inexorable. + +Let it be understood by the term Law is meant the same invariable +relations of succession and resemblance predicated of all facts +springing from like conditions. Law is a fact--not a cause. It is a +fact that like conditions produce like results; this fact is LAW. When +we say that the universe is governed by law, we mean that this fact, +called law, is incapable of change; that it is, has been, and forever +will be, the same inexorable, immutable FACT, inseparable from all +phenomena. Law, in this sense, was not enacted or made. It could not +have been otherwise than as it is. That which necessarily exists has no +creator. + +Only a few years ago this earth was considered the real center of the +universe; all the stars were supposed to revolve around this +insignificant atom. The German mind, more than any other, has done away +with this piece of egotism. Purbach and Mullerus, in the fifteenth +century, contributed most to the advancement of astronomy in their day. +To the latter the world is indebted for the introduction of decimal +fractions, which completed our arithmetical notation, and formed the +second of the three steps by which, in modern times, the science of +numbers has been so greatly improved; and yet both of these men +believed in the most childish absurdities--at least in enough of them to +die without their orthodoxy having ever been questioned. + +Next came the great Copernicus, and he stands at the head of the heroic +thinkers of his time, who had the courage and the mental strength to +break the chains of prejudice, custom and authority, and to establish +truth on the basis of experience, observation and reason. He removed +the earth, so to speak, from the center of the universe, and ascribed to +it a twofold motion, and demonstrated the true position which it +occupies in the solar system. + +At his bidding the earth began to revolve. At the command of his genius +it commenced its grand flight amid the eternal constellations around the +sun. For fifty years his discoveries were disregarded. All at once, by +the exertions of Galileo, they were kindled into so grand a +conflagration as to consume the philosophy of Aristotle, to alarm the +hierarchy of Rome, and to threaten the existence of every opinion not +founded upon experience, observation and reason. + +The earth was no longer considered a universe governed by the caprices +of some revengeful Deity, who had made the stars out of what he had left +after completing the world, and had stuck them in the sky simply to +adorn the night. + +I have said this much concerning astronomy because it was the first +splendid step forward! The first sublime blow that shattered the lance +and shivered the shield of superstition; the first real help that man +received from heaven. Because it was the first great lever placed +beneath the altar of a false religion; the first revelation of the +infinite to man, the first authoritative declaration that the universe +is governed by law; the first science that gave the lie direct to the +cosmogony of barbarism; and because it is the sublimest victory that +reason has achieved. + +In speaking of astronomy I have confined myself to the discoveries made +since the revival of learning. Long ago, on the banks of the Ganges, +ages before Copernicus lived, Aryabhatta taught that the earth is a +sphere and revolves on its own axis. This, however, does not detract +from the glory of the great German. The discovery of the Hindoo had +been lost in the midnight of Europe--in the age of faith--and Copernicus +was as much a discoverer as though Aryabhatta had never lived. + +In this short address there is no time to speak of other sciences, and +to point out the particular evidence furnished by each to establish the +dominion of law, nor to more than mention the name of Descartes, the +first who undertook to give an explanation of the celestial motions, or +who formed the vast and philosophic conception of reducing all the +phenomena of the universe to the same law; of Montaigne, one of the +heroes of common sense; of Galvani, whose experiments gave the +telegraph to the world; of Voltaire, who contributed more than any +other of the sons of men to the destruction of religious intolerance; +of August Comte, whose genius erected to itself a monument that still +touches the stars; of Guttenberg, Watt, Stephenson, Arkwright, all +soldiers of science in the grand army of the dead kings. + +The glory of science is that it is freeing the soul-breaking the mental +manacles--getting the brain out of bondage--giving courage to thought-- +filling the world with mercy, justice and joy. + +Science found agriculture plowing with a stick--reaping with a sickle-- +commerce at the mercy of the treacherous waves and the inconstant winds +--a world without books--without schools--man denying the authority of +reason, employing his ingenuity in the manufacture of instruments of +torture--in building inquisitions and cathedrals. It found the land +filled with malicious monks--with persecuting Protestants, and the +burners of men. It found a world full of fear, ignorance upon its +knees; credulity the greatest virtue; women treated like beasts, of +burden; cruelty the only means of reformation. It found the world at +the mercy of disease and famine; men trying to read their fates in the +stars, and to tell their fortunes by signs and wonders; generals +thinking to conquer their enemies by making the sign of the cross, or by +telling a rosary. It found all history full of petty and ridiculous +falsehood, and the Almighty was supposed to spend most of his time +turning sticks into snakes, drowning boys for swimming on Sunday, and +killing little children for the purpose of converting their parents. It +found the earth filled with slaves and tyrants, the people in all +countries downtrodden, half naked, half starved, without hope, and +without reason in the world. + +Such was the condition of man when the morning of science dawned upon +his brain, and before he bad heard the sublime declaration that the +universe is governed by law. + +For the change that has taken place we are indebted solely to science-- +the only lever capable of raising mankind. Abject faith is barbarism; +reason is civilization. To obey is slavish; to act from a sense of +obligation perceived by the reason is noble. Ignorance worships mystery; +reason explains it--the one grovels, the other soars. + +No wonder that fable is the enemy of knowledge. A man with a false +diamond shuns the society of lapidaries, and it is upon this principle +that superstition abhors science. + +In all ages the people have honored those who dishonored them. The have +worshiped their destroyers--they have canonized the most gigantic liars, +and buried the great thieves in marble and gold. Under the loftiest +monuments sleeps the dust of murder. + +Imposture has always worn a crown. + +The world is beginning to change because the people are beginning to +think. To think is to advance. Everywhere the great minds are +investigating the creeds and the superstitions of men--the phenomena of +nature, and the laws of things. At the head of this great army of +investigators stood Humboldt--the serene leader of an intellectual host +--a king by the suffrage of science, and the divine right of genius. + +And today we are not honoring some butcher called a soldier--some wily +politician called a statesman--some robber called a king--nor some +malicious metaphysician called a saint. We are honoring the grand +Humboldt, whose victories were all achieved in the arena of thought; +who destroyed prejudice, ignorance and error--not men: who shed light-- +not blood, and who contributed to the knowledge, the wealth and the +happiness of all mankind. + +His life was pure, his aims lofty, his learning varied and profound, and +his achievements vast. + +We honor him because he has ennobled our race, because he has +contributed as much as any man living or dead to the real prosperity of +the world. We honor him because he honored us--because he labored for +others--because he was the most learned man of the most learned nation-- +because he left a legacy of glory to every human being. For these +reasons he is honored throughout the world. Millions are doing homage +to his genius at this moment, and millions are pronouncing his name with +reverence, and recounting what he accomplished. + +We associate the name of Humboldt with oceans, continents mountains and +volcanoes--with the great plains--the wide deserts--the snow-lipped +craters of the Andes--with primeval forests and European capitals--with +wildernesses and universities--with savages and savants--with the lonely +rivers of unpeopled wastes--with peaks and pampas, and steppes, and +cliffs and crags--with the progress of the world--with every science +known to man, and with every star glittering in the immensity of space. + +Humboldt adopted none of the soul-shrinking creeds of his day; wasted +none of his time in the stupidities, inanities and contradictions of +theological metaphysics; he did not endeavor to harmonize the astronomy +and geology of a barbarous people with the science of the nineteenth +century. Never, for one moment, did he abandon the sublime standard of +truth; he investigated, he studied, he thought, he separated the gold +from the dross in the crucible of his grand brain. He was never found +on his knees before the altar of superstition. He stood erect by the +grand, tranquil column of reason. He was an admirer, a lover, an adorer +of nature, and at the age of ninety, bowed by the weight of nearly a +century, covered with the insignia of honor, loved by a nation, +respected by a world, with kings for his servants, he laid his weary +head upon her bosom--upon the bosom of the universal mother--and with +her loving arms around him, sank into that slumber called death. + +History added another name to the starry scroll of the immortals. + +The world is his monument; upon the eternal granite of her hills he +inscribed his name, and there, upon everlasting stone, his genius wrote +this, the sublimest of truths: + +"THE UNIVERSE IS GOVERNED BY LAW!" + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON WHICH WAY? + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: For thousands of years men have been asking the +questions: "How shall we civilize the world? How shall we protect +life, liberty, property and reputations? How shall we do away with +crime and poverty? How clothe, and feed, and educate, and civilize +mankind?" These are the questions that are asked by thoughtful men and +thoughtful women. The question with them is not, "What will we do in +some other world?" Time enough to ask that when we get there. The +business we will attend to now is, how are, we to civilize the world? +What priest shall I ask? What sacred volume shall I search? What +oracle can I consult? At what shrine must I bow to find out what is to +be done? Each church has a different answer; each has a different +recipe for the salvation of the people, but not while they are in this +world. All that is to be done in this world is to get ready for the +next. + +In the first place I am met by the theological world. Have I the right +to inquire? They say, "Certainly; it is your duty to inquire." Each +church has a recipe for the salvation of this world, but not while you +are in this world--afterward. They treat time as a kind of pier--a kind +of wharf running out into the great ocean of eternity; and they treat +us all as though we were waiting there, sitting on our trunks, for the +gospel ship. + +I want to know what to do here. Have I the right to inquire? Yes. If I +have the right to inquire, then I have the right to investigate. If I +have the right to investigate, I have the right to accept. If I have the +right to accept, I have the right to reject. And what religion have I +the right to reject? That which does not conform with my reason, with +my standard of truth, with my standard of common sense. Millions of men +have been endeavoring to govern this world by means of the supernatural. +Thousands and thousands of churches exist, thousands of cathedrals and +temples have been built, millions of men have been engaged to preach +this gospel; and what has been the result in this world? Will one +church have any sympathy with another? Does the religion of one country +have any respect for that of another? Or does not each religion claim +to be the only one? And does not the priest of every religion, with +infinite impudence, consign the disciples of all others to eternal fire? + +Why is it the churches have failed to civilize this world? Why is it +that the Christian countries are no better than any other countries? +Why is it that Christian men are no better than any other men? Why is +it that ministers as a class are no better than doctors, or lawyers, or +merchants, or mechanics, or locomotive engineers? And a locomotive +engineer is a thousand times more useful. Give me a good engineer and a +bad preacher to go through this world with rather than a bad engineer +and a good preacher; and there is this curious fact about the believers +in the supernatural: The priests of one church have no confidence in +the miracles and wonders told by the priests of the other churches. +Maybe they know each other. A Christian missionary will tell the Hindoo +of the miracles of the bible; the Hindoo smiles. The Hindoo tells the +Christian missionary of the miracles of his sacred books; and the +missionary looks upon him with pity and contempt. No priest takes the +word of another. + +I heard once a little story that illustrates this point: A gentleman in +a little party was telling of a most wonderful occurrence, and when he +had finished everybody said: "Is it possible? Why, did you ever hear +anything like that?" All united in a kind of wondering chorus except +one man. He said nothing. He was perfectly still and unmoved; and one +who had been greatly astonished by the story said to him: "Did you hear +that story?" "Yes." "Well, you don't appear to be excited." "Well +no," he said; "I am a liar myself." + +There is another trouble with the supernatural. It has no honesty; it +is consumed by egotism; it does not think--it knows; consequently it +has no patience with the honest doubter. And how has the church treated +the honest doubter? He has been answered by force, by authority, by +popes, by cardinals and bishops, and councils, and, above all, by mobs. +In that way the honest doubter has been answered. There is this +difference between the minister, the church, the clergy, and the men who +believe in this world. I might as well state the question--I may go +further than you. The real question is this: Are we to be governed by +a supernatural being, or are we to govern ourselves? That is the +question. Is God the source of power, or does all authority spring, in +governing, from the consent of the governed? That is the question. In +other words, is the universe a monarchy, a despotism, or a democracy? I +take the democratic side, not in a political sense. The question is, +whether this world should be governed by God or by man; and when I say +"God" I mean the being that these gentlemen have treated and enthroned +upon the ignorance of mankind. + +Now let us admit, for the sake of argument, that the bible is true. Let +us admit, for the sake of argument, that God once governed this world-- +not that He did, but let us admit it, and I intend to speak of no god +but our God, because we all insist that of all the gods ours is the +best, and if He is not good we need not trouble ourselves about the +others. Let them take care of themselves. + +Now, the first question is, whether this world shall be governed by God +or man. Admitting that the being spoken of in the bible is God, He +governed this world once. There was a theocracy at the start. That was +the first government of the world. Now, how do you judge of a man? The +best test of a man is, how does he use power? That is the supreme test +of manhood. How does he treat those within his control? The greater +the man, the grander the man, the more careful he is in the use of +power--the tenderer he is, the nearer just, the greater, the more +merciful, the grander, the more charitable. Tell me how a man treats +his wife or his children, his poor debtors, his servants, and I will +tell you what manner of a man he be. That, I say, is the supreme test, +and we know tonight how a good and great man treats his inferiors. We +know that. And a man endeavoring to raise his fellow-men higher in the +scale of civilization--what will that man appeal to? Will he appeal to +the lowest or to the highest that is in man? Let us be honest. Will he +appeal to prejudice--the fortress, the armor, the sword and shield of +ignorance? Will he appeal to credulity--the ring in the nose by which +priests lead stupidity? Will he appeal to the cowardly man? Will he +play upon his fears--fear, the capital stock of imposture, the lever and +fulcrum of hypocrisy? Will he appeal to the selfishness and all the +slimy serpents that crawl in the den of savagery? Or will he appeal to +reason, the torch of the mind? Will he appeal to justice? Will he +appeal to charity, which is justice in blossom? Will he appeal to +liberty and love? These are the questions. What will he do? What did +our God do? Let us see. The first thing we know of Him is in the Garden +of Eden. How did He endeavor to make His children great, and strong, and +good, and free? Did He say anything to Adam and Eve about the sacred +relation of marriage? Did He say anything to them about loving +children? Did He say anything to them about learning anything under +heaven? Did He say one word about intellectual liberty? Did he say one +word about reason or about justice? Did He make the slightest effort to +improve them? All that He did in the world was to give them one poor +little miserable, barren command, "Thou shalt not eat of a certain +fruit." That's all that amounted to anything; and, when they sinned, +did this great God take them in the arms of His love and endeavor to +reform them? No; He simply put upon them a curse. When they were +expelled He said to the woman: "I will greatly multiply thy sorrow. In +sorrow shalt thou bring forth children. Thy husband shall rule over +thee." God made every mother a criminal, and placed a perpetual penalty +of pain upon human love. Our God made wives slaves--slaves of their +husbands. Our God corrupted the marriage relation and paralyzed the +firesides of this world. That is what our God did. And what did He say +to poor Adam? "Cursed be the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou +eat of it all the days of thy life; thorns and thistles shall it bring +forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field, and in the +sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread." Did He say one word calculated +to make him a better man? Did He put in the horizon of the future one +star of hope? Let us be honest, and see what this God did, and we will +judge of Him simply by ordinary common sense. + +After a while Cain murdered his brother, and he was detected by this +God. And what did this God say to him? Did He say one word of the +crime of shedding human blood? Not a word. Did He say one word +calculated to excite in the breast of Cain the slightest real sorrow for +his deed? Not the slightest. Did He tell him anything about where Abel +was? Nothing. Did He endeavor to make him a better man? Not a bit. +What had He ever taught him before on that subject? Nothing. And so +Cain went out to the other sons and daughters of Adam, according to the +bible, and they multiplied and increased until they covered the earth. +God gave them no code of laws. God never built them a schoolhouse. God +never sent a teacher. God never said a word to them about a future +state. God never held up before their gaze that dazzling reward of +heaven; never spoke about the lurid gulfs of hell; kept divine +punishment a perfect secret, and without having given them the slightest +opportunity, simply drowned the world. Splendid administration! +Cleveland will do better than that. And, after the waters had gone +away, then He gave them some commandments. I suppose that He saw by +that time that they needed guidance. + +And here are the commandments: + +1. You may eat all kinds of birds, beasts and fishes. + +2. You must not eat blood; if you do, I will kill you. + +3. Whosoever sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed. + +Nothing more. No good advice; not a word about government; not a word +about the rights of man or woman, or children; not a word about any law +of nature; not a word about any science--nothing, not even arithmetic. + +Nothing. And so He let them go on, and in a little while they came to +the same old state; and began building the Tower of Babel; and he went +there and confounded, as they said, their languages. Never said a word +to them; never told them how foolish it was to try and reach heaven +that way. And the next we find Him talking to Abraham, and with Abraham +He makes a contract. And how did He do it? "I will bless them that +bless thee, and curse them that curse thee." Fine contract for a God. +And thereupon He made certain promises to Abraham--promised to give him +the whole world, all the nations round about, and that his seed should +be as the sands of the sea. Never kept one of His promises--not one. +He made the same promises to Isaac, and broke every one. Then He made +them all over to Jacob, and broke every one; made them again to Moses, +and broke them all. Never said a word about anybody behaving +themselves--not a word. Finally, these people whom He had taken under +His special care became slaves in the land of Egypt. How ashamed God +must have been! Finally He made up His mind to rescue them from that +servitude, and He sent Moses and Aaron. He never said a word to Moses +or Aaron that Pharaoh was wrong. He never said a word to them about how +the women felt when their male children were taken and destroyed. He +simply sent Moses before Pharaoh with a cane in his hand that he could +turn into a serpent; and, when Pharaoh called in magicians and they did +the same, Pharaoh laughed. And then they made frogs; and Pharaoh sent +for his magicians, and they did the same, and Pharaoh still laughed. +And this God had infinite power, but Pharaoh defeated Him at every +point! + +It puts me in mind of the story that great Fenian told when the great +excitement was about Ireland. An Irishman was telling about the +condition of Ireland. He said: "We have got in Ireland now over +300,000 soldiers, all equipped. Every man of them has got a musket and +ammunition. They are ready to march at a minute's notice." "But," said +the other man, "why don't they march?" "Why," said the other man, "the +police won't let them." How admirable! Imagine the infinite God +endeavoring to liberate the Hebrews, and prevented by a king, who would +not let the children of Israel go until he had done some little miracles +with sticks! Think of it! But, said Christians, "you must wait a little +while if you wish to find the foundation of law." + +Christians now assert that from Sinai came to this world all knowledge +of right and wrong, and that from its flaming top we received the first +ideas of law and justice. Let us look at those ten commandments. Which +of those ten commandments were new, and which of those ten commandments +were old? "Thou shalt not kill." That was as old as life. Murder has +been a crime; also, because men object to being murdered. If you read +the same bible you will find that Moses, seeing an Israelite and an +Egyptian contending together, smote the Egyptian and hid his body in the +sand. After he had committed that crime Moses fled from the land. Why? +Simply because there was a law against murder. That is all. "Honor thy +father and thy mother." That is as old as birth. "Thou shalt not +commit adultery." That is as old as sex. "Thou shalt not steal." That +is as old as work, and as old as property. "Thou shalt not bear false +witness against thy neighbor." That is as old as the earth. Never was +there a nation, never was there a tribe on the earth that did not have +substantially, those commandments. What, then, were new? First, "Thou +shalt worship no other God; thou shalt have no other God." Why? +"Because I am a jealous God." Second, "Thou shalt not make any graven +image." Third, "Thou shalt not take My name in vain." Fourth, "Thou +shalt not work on the Sabbath day." What use were these commandments? +None--not the slightest. How much better it would have been if God from +Sinai, instead of the commandments, had said: "Thou shalt not enslave +thy fellow-man; no human being is entitled to the results of another's +labor." Suppose He had said: "Thou shalt not persecute for opinion's +sake; thought and speech must be forever free." Suppose He had said, +instead of "Thou shalt not work on the Sabbath day," "A man shall have +but one wife; a woman shall have but one husband; husbands shall love +their wives; wives shall love their husbands and their children with +all their hearts and as themselves"--how much better it would have been +for this world. + +Long before Moses was born the Egyptians taught one God; but +afterwards, I believe, in their weakness, they degenerated into a belief +in the Trinity. They taught the divine origin of the soul, and taught +judgment after death. They taught as a reward for belief in their +doctrine eternal joy, and as a punishment for non-belief eternal pain. +Egypt, as a matter of fact, was far better governed than Palestine. The +laws of Egypt were better than the laws of God. In Egypt woman was equal +with man. Long before Moses was born there were queens upon the +Egyptian throne. Long before Moses was born they had a written code of +laws, and their laws were administered by courts and judges. They had +rules of evidence. They understood the philosophy of damages. Long +before Moses was born they had asylums for the insane and hospitals for +the sick. Long before God appeared on Sinai there were schools in +Egypt, and the highest office next to the throne was opened to the +successful scholar. The Egyptian married but one wife. His wife was +called the lady of the house. Women were not secluded; and, above all +and over all, the people of Egypt were not divided into castes, and were +infinitely better governed than God ever thought of. I am speaking of +the God of this bible. If Moses had remembered more of what he saw in +Egypt his government would have been far better than it was. Long before +these commandments were given, Zoroaster taught the Hindoos that there +was one infinite and supreme God. They had a code of laws, and their +laws were administered by judges in their courts. By those laws, at the +death of a father, the unmarried daughter received twice as much of his +property as his son. Compare those laws with the laws of Moses. + +So, too, the Romans had their code of laws. The Romans were the +greatest lawyers the world produced. The Romans had a code of civil +laws, and that code today is the foundation of all law in the civilized +world. The Romans built temples to Truth, to Faith, to Valor, to +Concord, to Modesty, to Charity and to Chastity. And so with the +Grecians. And yet you will find Christian ministers today contending +that all ideas of law, of justice and of right came from Sinai, from the +ten commandments, from the Mosaic laws. No lawyer who understands his +profession will claim that is so. No lawyer who has studied the history +of law will claim it. No man who knows history itself will claim it. +No man will claim it but an ignorant zealot. + +Let us go another step--let us compare the ideas of this God with the +ideas of uninspired men. I am making this long preface because I want +to get it out of your minds that the bible is inspired. + +Now let us go along a little and see what is God's opinion of liberty. +Nothing is of more value in this world today than liberty--liberty of +body and liberty of mind. Without liberty, the universe would be as a +dungeon into which human beings are flung like poor and miserable +convicts. Intellectual liberty is the air of the soul, the sunshine of +the mind. Without it we should be in darkness. Now, Jehovah commanded +the Jewish people to take captives the strangers and sojourners amongst +them, and ordered that they and their children should be bondsmen and +bondswomen for ever. + +Now let us compare Jehovah to Epictetus--a man to whom no revelation was +ever made--a man to whom this God did not appear. Let us listen to him: +"Remember your servants are to be treated as your own brothers--children +of the same God." On the subject of liberty is not Epictetus a better +authority than Jehovah, who told the Jews to make bondsmen and +bondswomen of the heathen round about? And He said they were to make +them their bondsmen and bondswomen forever. Why? Because they were +heathen. Why? Because they were not children of the Jews. He was the +God of the Jews and not of the rest of mankind. So He said to His +chosen people: "Pillage upon the enemy and destroy the people of other +gods. Buy the heathen round about." Yet Cicero, a poor pagan lawyer, +said this--and he had not even read the old testament--had not even had +the advantage of being enlightened by the prophets: "They who say that +we should love our fellow-citizens, and not foreigners, destroy the +universal brotherhood of mankind, and with it benevolence and justice +would perish forever." Is not Cicero greater than Jehovah? The bible, +inspired by Jehovah, says: "If a man smite his servant with a rod and +he die under his hand he shall be punished. It he continue a day or two +and then die, he shall not be punished." Zeno, the founder of the +stoics, who had never heard of Jehovah, and never read a word of Moses, +said this: "No man can be the, owner of another, and the title is bad. +Whether the slave became a slave by conquest or by purchase, the title +is bad." Let us come and see whether Jehovah has any humanity in Him. +Jehovah ordered the Jewish general to make war, and this was the order: +"And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee, thou shalt +smite them and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with +them, nor show mercy unto them." And yet Epictetus, whom I have already +quoted, said: "Treat those in thy power as thou wouldst have thy +superiors treat thee." + +I am on the side of the pagan. Is it possible that a being of infinite +goodness said: "I will heap mischief upon them; I will send My arrows +upon them. They shall be burned with hunger; they shall be devoured +with burning heat and with bitter destruction. I will also send the +teeth of locusts upon them, with the poisonous serpent of the desert. +The sound without and the terror within, shall destroy both the young +men and the virgins, the sucklings also, and the men with gray hairs." +While Seneca, a poor uninspired Roman, said: "A wise man will not +pardon any crime that ought to be punished, but will accomplish in other +way all that is sought. He will spare some; he will pardon and watch +over some because of their youth; he will pardon these on account of +their ignorance. His clemency will not fail what is sought by justice, +but his clemency will fulfill justice." That was said by Seneca. Can +we believe that this Jehovah said: "Let his children be fatherless and +his wife a widow. Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg. +Let them seek their bread out of desolate places. Let the extortioner +catch all that he hath, and let the stranger spoil his labor. Let no +one extend mercy unto them, neither let any favor his fatherless +children." Did Jehovah say this? Surely He had never heard this line-- +this plaintive music from the Hindoo: "Sweet is the lute to those who +have not heard the voices of their own children." Let us see the +generosity of Jehovah out of the cloud of darkness on Mount Sinai. He +said to the Jews: "Thou shalt have no other God before Me. Thou shalt +not bow down to any other gods, for the Lord thy God is a jealous God, +visiting the iniquities of the fathers upon the children to the third an +fourth generation of them that hate Me." Just think of God saying to +people: "If you do not love Me I will damn you." Contrast this with +the words put by the Hindoo poet into the mouth of Brahma: "I am the +same to all mankind. The who honestly worship other gods involuntarily +worship me. I am he that partaketh of all worship. I am the reward of +worship." How perfectly sublime! Let me read it to you again: "I am +the same to all mankind. They who honestly worship other gods +involuntarily worship me. I am he that partaketh of all worship. I am +the reward of worship." Compare these passages. The first is a dungeon, +which crude hands have digged with jealous slime. The other is like the +dome of the firmament, inlaid with constellations. Is it possible God +ever said: "If a prophet deceive when he hath spoken a thing, I, the +Lord, hath deceived that prophet?" Compare that passage with the poet, a +pagan: "Better remain silent the remainder of life than speak falsely." + +Can we believe a being of infinite mercy gave this command: "Put every +man his sword by his side; go from the gate throughout the camp, and +slay every man his brother, every man his companion, and every man his +neighbor. Consecrate it, yourselves this day. Let every man lay his +sword even upon his son, upon his brother, that he bestow blessing upon +Me this day." Surely that was not the outcome of a great, magnanimous +spirit, like that of the Roman emperor, who declared: "I had rather +keep a single Roman citizen alive than slay a thousand enemies." +Compare the last command given to the children of Israel with the words +of Marcus Aurelius: "I have formed an ideal of the State, in which +there is the same law for all, and equal rights and equal liberty of +speech established for all--an Empire where nothing is honored so much +as the freedom of the citizens." I am on the side of the Roman emperor. + +What is more beautiful than the old story from Sufi? There was a man +who for seven years did every act of good, every kind of charity, and at +the end of the seven years he mounted the steps to the gate of heaven +and knocked. A voice cried, "Who is there?" He cried, "Thy servant, O +Lord;" and the gates were shut. Seven other years he did every good +work, and again mounted the steps to heaven and knocked. The voice +cried, "Who is there?" He answered, "Thy slave, O God;" and the gates +were shut. Seven other years he did every good deed, and again mounted +the steps to heaven, and the voice said: "Who is there?" He replied +"Thyself, O God;" and the gates wide open flew. Is there anything in +our religion so warm or so beautiful as that? Compare that story from a +pagan with the Presbyterian religion. + +Take this story of Endesthora, who was a king of Egypt, and started for +the place where the horizon touched the earth, where he was to meet God. +With him followed Argune and Bemis and Traubation. They were taught +that, when any man started after God in that way, if he had been guilty +of any crime he would fall by the way. Endesthora walked at the head +and suddenly he missed Argune. He said, "He was not always merciful in +the hour of victory." A little while after he missed Bemis, and said, +"He fought not so much for the rights of man as for his own glory." A +little farther on he missed Traubation. He said, "My God, I know no +reason for his failing to reach the place where the horizon touches the +earth;" and the god Ram appeared to him, and opening the curtains of the +sky, said to him: "Enter." And Endesthora said: "But where are my +brethren? Where are Argune and Beinis and Traubation?" And the god +said: "They sinned in their time, and they are condemned to suffer +below." Then said Endestbora: "I do not wish to enter into your heaven +without my friends. If they are below, then I will join them." But the +god said: "They are here before you; I simply said this to try your +soul." Endesthora simply turned and said: "But what of my dog?" The +god said, "Thou knowest that if the shadow of a dog fall upon the +sacrifice, it is unclean. How, then, can a dog enter heaven?" And +Endesthora replies: "I know that, and I know another thing; that +ingratitude is the blackest of crimes, whether it be to man or beast. +That dog has been my faithful friend. He has followed me and I will not +desert even him." And the god said: "Let the dog follow." Compare +that with the bible stories. + +Long before the advent of Christ, Aristotle said: "We should conduct +ourselves toward others as we would have them conduct themselves toward +us." Seneca said: "Do not to your neighbor what you would not have +your neighbor do to you." Socrates said: "Act toward others as you +would have others act toward you. Forgive your enemies, render good for +evil, and kiss even the hand that is upraised to smite." Krishna said: +"Cease to do evil; aim to do well; love your enemies. It is the law +of love that virtue is the only thing that has strength." Poor, +miserable pagans! Did you ever hear anything like this? Is it possible +that one of the authors of the new testament was inspired when he said +that man was not created for woman, but woman for man? Epictetus said: +"What is more delightful than to be so dear to your wife as to be on her +account dearer even to yourself?" Compare that with St. Paul: "But I +would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head +of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. Wives, submit +yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord." That was inspiration. +This was written by a poor, despised heathen: "In whatever house the +husband is contented with the wife and the wife with the husband, in +that house will fortune dwell. In the house where the woman is not +honored, let the curse be pronounced. Where the wife is honored, there +God is truly worshiped." I wish Jehovah had said something like that +from Sinai. Is there anything as beautiful as this in the new +testament: "Shall I tell you where nature is more blest and fair? It +is where those we love abide. Though the space be small, it is ample as +earth; though it be a desert, through it run the rivers of Paradise." + +Compare these things with the curses pronounced in the old testament, +where you read of the heathen being given over to butchery and death, +and the women and babes to destruction; and, after you have read them, +read the chapters of horrors in the new testament, threatening eternal +fire and flame; and then read this, the greatest thought uttered by the +greatest of human beings: + +The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain +from heaven Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed: It blesseth +him that gives and him that takes; 'Tis mightiest in the mighty; It +becomes the throned monarch better this his crown. + +Compare that with your doctrine of the new testament! If Jehovah was an +infinite God and knew things from the beginning, He knew that His bible +would be a breast-work behind which tyranny and hypocrisy would crouch, +and knew His bible would be the auction-block on which the mother would +stand while her babe was sold from her, because He knew His bible would +be quoted by tyrants; that it would be quoted in defense of robbers +called kings, and by hypocrites called priests. He knew that He had +taught the Jewish people; He knew that He had found them free and left +them slaves; He knew that He had broken every single promise made to +them; He knew that, while other nations advanced in knowledge, in art, +in science, His chosen people were subjects still. He promised them the +world; He gave them a desert. He promised them liberty, and made them +slaves. He promised them power; He gave them exile, and any one who +reads the old testament is compelled to say that nothing could add to +their misery. + +Let us be honest. How do you account for this religion? This world; +where did it come from? You hear every minister say that man is a +religious animal--that religion is natural. While man is an ignorant +animal man will be a theological animal, and no longer. Where did we get +this religion? The savage knew but little of nature, but thought that +everything happened in reference to him. He thought his sins caused +earthquakes, and that his virtues made the sunshine. + +Nothing is so egotistical as ignorance. You know, and so do I, that if +no human being existed, the sun would shine, and that tempests would now +and then devastate the earth; violets would spread their velvet bosoms +to the sun, daisies would grow, roses would fill the air with perfume, +and now and then volcanoes would illuminate the horizon with their lurid +glare; the grass would grow, the waters would run, and so far as nature +is concerned, everything would be as joyous as though the earth were +filled with happy homes. We know the barbarian savage thinks that all +this was on his account. He thinks that there dwelt two very powerful +deities; that there was a good one, because he knows good things happen +to him; and that there was a bad one, because he knows bad things +happen to him. Behind the evil influence he puts a devil, and behind +the good, an intention of God; and then he imagines both these beings +are in opposition, and that, between them, they struggle for the +possession of his ignorant soul. He also thinks that the place where +the good deity lives is heaven, and that the place where the other deity +keeps himself is a place of torture and punishment. And about that time +other barbarians have chosen too keep the ignorant ones in subjection by +means of the doctrine of fear and punishment. + +There is no reforming power in fear. You can scare a man, maybe, so bad +that he won't do a thing, but you can't scare him so bad he won't want +to do it. There is no reforming power in punishment or brute force; +but our barbarians rather imagined that every being would punish in +accordance with his power, and his dignity, and that God would subject +them to torture in the same way as those who made Him angry. They knew +the king would inflict torments upon one in his power, and they supposed +that God would inflict torture according to His power. They knew the +worst torture was a slow, burning fire; added to it the idea of +eternity, and hell was produced. That was their idea. All meanness, +revenge, selfishness, cruelty, and hatred of which men here are capable +burst into blossom and bore fruit in that one word, "Hell." + +In this way a God of infinite wisdom experimented with man, keeping him +between an outstretched abyss beneath and a heaven above; and in time +the man came to believe that he could please God by having read a few +sacred books, could count beads, could sprinkle water, eat little square +pieces of bread, and that he could shut his eyes and say words to the +clouds; but the moment he left this world nothing remained except to +damn him. He was to be kept miserable one day in seven, and he could +slander and persecute other men all the other days in the week. That +was the chance that God gave a man here, but the moment he left this +world that settled it. He would go to eternal pain or else to eternal +joy. That was the way that the supernatural governed this world-- +through fear, through terror, through eternity of punishment; and that +government, I say tonight, has failed. How has it been kept alive so +long? It was born in ignorance. Let me tell you, whoever attacks a +creed will be confronted with a list of great men who have believed in +it. Probably their belief in that creed was the only weakness they had. +But he will be asked, "So you know more than all the great men who have +taught and all the respectable men who have believed in that faith?" +For the church is always going about to get a certificate from some +governor, or even perhaps members of the Legislature, and you are told, +because so-and-so believed all these things, and you have no more +talents than they, that you should believe the same thing. But I +contend, as against this argument, that you should not take the +testimony of these men unless you are willing to take at the same time +all their beliefs on other subjects. Then, again, they tell you that +the rich people are all on their side, and I say so, too. The churches +today seek the rich, and poverty unwillingly seeks them. Light thrown +from diamonds adorns the repentant here. We are told that the rich, the +fortunate, and the holders of place are Christians now; and yet +ministers grow eloquent over the poverty of Christ, who was born in a +manger, and say that the Holy Ghost passed the titled ladies of the +world and selected the wife of a poor mechanic for the mother of God. +Such is the difference between theory and practice. The church condemns +the men of Jerusalem who held positions and who held the pretensions of +the Savior in contempt. They admit that He was so little known that +they had to bribe a man to point Him out to the soldiers. They assert +that He performed miracles; yet He remained absolutely unknown, hidden +in the depth of obscurity. No one knew Him, and one of His disciples +had to be bribed to point Him out. Surely He and His disciples could +have met the arguments which were urged against their religion at that +time. + +So long as the church honored philosophers she kept her great men in the +majority. How is it now? I say tonight that no man of genius in the +world is in the orthodox pulpit, so far as I know. Where are they? +Where are the orthodox great men? I challenge the Christian church to +produce a man like Alexander Humboldt. I challenge the world to produce +a naturalist like Haeckel. I challenge the Christian world to produce a +man like Darwin. Where in the ranks of orthodoxy are historians like +Draper and Buckle? Where are the naturalists like Tyndall, philosophers +like Mills and Spencer, and women like George Eliot and Harriet +Martineau? You may get tired of the great-men argument; but the names +of the great thinkers, and naturalists and scientists of our time cannot +be matched by the supernatural world. + +What is the next argument they will bring forward? The father and +mother argument. You must not disgrace your parents. How did Christ +come to leave the religion of His mother? That argument proves too +much. There is one way every man can honor his mother--that is by +finding out more than she knew. There is one way a man can honor his +father--by correcting the old man's errors. + +Most people imagine that the creed we have came from the brain and heart +of Christ. They have no idea how it was made. They think it was all +made at one time. They don't understand that it was a slow growth. +They don't understand that theology is a science made up of mistakes, +prejudices and falsehoods. Let me tell you a few facts: The Emperor +Constantine, who lifted the Christian religion into power, murdered his +wife and his eldest son the very year that he convened the Council of +Nice to decide whether Jesus Christ was man or God; and that was not +decided until the year of grace 325. Then Theodosius called a council +at Constantinople in 381, and this council decided that the Holy Ghost +proceeded from the Father. You see, there was a little doubt on that +question before this was done. Then another council was called later to +determine who the Virgin Mary really was, and it was solemnly decided +that she was the mother of Christ. In 431, and then in 451, a council +was held in Chalcedon, by the Emperor Marcian, and that decided that +Christ had two natures--a human and a divine. In 680 another council +was held at Constantinople; and in 1274 at Lyons, it was decided that +the Holy Ghost proceeded not only from the Father but from the Son; and +when you take into consideration the fact that a belief in the Trinity +is absolutely essential to salvation, you see how important it was that +these doctrines should have been established in 1274, when millions of +people had dropped into hell in the interim solely because they had +forgotten that question. At last we know how religions are made. We +know how miracles are manufactured. We know the history of relics, and +bones, and pieces of the true cross. And at last we understand +apostolic succession. At last we have examined other religions, and we +find them all the same, and we are beginning to suspect that ours is +like the rest. I think we understand it. + +I read a little story, a short time ago, from the Japanese, that throws +light upon the question. There was an old priest at a monastery. This +monastery was built over the bones of what he called a saint, and people +came there and were cured of many diseases. This priest had an +assistant. After the assistant grew up and got quite to understand his +business, the old priest gave him a little donkey, and told him that +henceforth he was to take care of himself. The young priest started out +with his little donkey, and asked alms of those he met. Few gave to +him. Finally he got very poor. He could not raise money enough to feed +the donkey. Finally the donkey died; he was about to bury it when a +thought occurred to him. He buried the donkey and sat down on the +grave, and to the next stranger that passed he said: "Will you not give +a little money to erect a shrine over the bones of a sinless one?" +Thereupon a man gave money. Others followed his example, a shrine was +raised, and in a little while a monastery was built over the bones of +the sinless one. Down in the grave the young priest made an orifice, so +that persons afflicted with any disease could reach down and touch the +bones of the sinless one. Hundreds were thus cured, and persons left +their crutches as testimonials to the miraculous power of the bones of +the sinless one. Finally the priest became so rich that he thought he +would visit his old master. He went to the old monastery with a fine +retinue. His old master asked him how he became so rich and prosperous. +He replied: "Old age is stupid, but youth has thought." Later on he +explained to the old priest how the donkey had died, and how he had +raised a monastery over the bones of the sinless one; and again +reminded him that old age is stupid, but youth has thought. The old +priest exclaimed: "Not quite so fast, young man; not quite so fast. +Don't imagine you worked out anything new. This shrine of mine is built +over the bones of the mother of your little donkey." + +We have now reached a point in the history of the world when we know +that theocracy as a form of government is a failure, and we see that +theology as a foundation of government is an absolute failure. We can +see that theocracy and theology created, not liberty, but despotism. We +know enough of the history of the churches in this world to know that +they never can civilize mankind; that they are not imbued with the +spirit of progress; that they are not imbued with the spirit of justice +and mercy. What I ask you tonight is: What has the church done to +civilize mankind? What has the church done for us? How has it added to +the prosperity of this world? Has it ever produced anything? Nothing. +Why, they say, it has been charitable. How can a beggar be charitable? +A beggar produces nothing. The church has been an eternal and +everlasting pauper. It is not charitable. It is an object of charity, +and yet it claims to be charitable. The giver is the charitable one. +Somebody who has made something, somebody who has by his labor produced +something, he alone can be charitable. + +And let me say another thing: The church is always on the wrong side. +Let us take, first, the Episcopal church--if you call that a church. Let +me tell you one thing about that church. You know what is called the +rebellion in England in 1688? Do you know what caused it? I will tell +you. King James was a Catholic, and notwithstanding that fact, he +issued an edict of toleration for the Dissenters and Catholics. And +what next did he do? He ordered all the bishops to have this edict of +toleration read in the Episcopal churches. They refused to do it--most +of them. You recollect that trial of the seven bishops? That is what +it was all about; they would not read the edict of toleration. Then +what happened? A strange thing to say, and it is one of the miracles of +this world: The Dissenters, in whose favor that edict was issued, +joined hands with the Episcopalians, and raised the rebellion against +the king, because he wanted to give the Dissenters liberty, and these +Dissenters and these Episcopalians, on account of toleration, drove King +James into exile. This is the history of the first rebellion the Church +of England ever raised against the king, simply because he issued an +edict of toleration and the poor, miserable wretches in whose favor the +edict was issued joined hands with their oppressors. I want to show you +how much the Church of England has done for England. I get it from good +authority. Let me read it to you to show how little influence the +Christian church, the Church of England, had with the government of that +country. Let me tell you that up to the reign of George I. there were +in that country sixty-seven offenses punishable with death. There is +not a lawyer in this city who can think of those offenses and write them +down in one day. Think of it! Sixty-seven offenses punishable with +death! Now, between the accession of George I. and the termination of +the reign of George III. there were added 156 new crimes punishable with +death, making in all 223 crimes in England punishable with death. There +is no lawyer in this State who can think of that many crimes in a week. +Now, during all those years the government was becoming more and more +cruel; more and more barbarous; and we do not find, and we have not +found, that the Church of England, with its 15,000 or 20,000 Ministers, +with its more than a score of bishops in the House of Lords, has ever +raised its voice or perfected any organization in favor of a more +merciful code, or in condemnation of the enormous cruelty which the laws +were continually inflicting. And was not Voltaire justified in saying +that "The English were a people who murdered by law?" Now, that is an +extract from a speech made by John Bright in May, 1883. That shows what +the Church of England did. Two hundred and twenty-three offenses in +England punishable with death, and no minister, no bishop, no church +organization raising his or its voice, against the monstrous cruelty. +And why? Even then it was better than the law of Jehovah. + +And the Protestants were as bad as the Catholics. You remember the time +of Henry IV. in France, when the edict of Nantes was issued simply to +give the Protestants the right to worship God according to the dictates +of their conscience. Just as soon as that edict was issued the +Protestants themselves, in the cities where they had the power, +prevented the Catholics from worshiping their God according to the +dictates of their conscience, and it was on account of the refusal of +those Protestants to allow the Catholics to worship God as they desired +that there was a civil war lasting for seven years in France. Richelieu +came into authority about the second or third year of that war. He made +no difference between Protestants and Catholics; and it was owing to +Richelieu that the Thirty Years' War terminated. It was owing to +Richelieu that the peace of Westphalia was made in 1643, although I +believe he had been dead a year before that time; but it was owing to +him, and it was the first peace ever made between nations on a secular +basis, with everything religious left out, and it was the last great +religious war. + +You may ask me what I want. Well, in the first place I want to get +theology out of government. It has no business there. Man gets his +authority from man, and is responsible only to man. I want to get +theology out of politics. Our ancestors in 1776 retired God from +politics, because of the jealousies among the churches, and the result +has been splendid for mankind. I want to get theology out of education. +Teach the children what somebody knows, not what somebody guesses. I +want to get theology out of morality, and out of charity. Don't give +for God's sake, but for man's sake. + +I want you to know another thing; that neither Protestants nor +Catholics are fit to govern this world. They are not fit to govern +themselves. How could you elect a minister of any religion president of +the United States. Could you elect a bishop of the Catholic church, or +a Methodist bishop, or Episcopal minister, or one of the elders? No. +And why? We are afraid of the ecclesiastic spirit. We are afraid to +trust the liberties of men in the hands of people who acknowledge that +they are bound by a standard different from that of the welfare of +mankind. + +The history of Italy, France, Spain, Portugal, Cuba, and Brazil all show +that slavery existed where Catholicism was a power. I would suggest an +education that would rule theology out of the government, and teach +people to rely more on themselves and less on providence. There are two +ways of living--the broad way of life lived for others, and the narrow +theological way. It is wise to so live that death can be serenely +faced, and then, if there is another world, the best way to prepare for +it is to make the best of this; and if there be no other world, the +best way to live here is to so live as to be happy and make everybody +else happy. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON THE GREAT INFIDELS + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: There is nothing grander in this world than to +rescue from the leprosy of slander a great and splendid name. There is +nothing nobler than to benefit our benefactors. The infidels of one age +have been the aureole saints of the next. The destroyers of the old +have always been the creators of the new. The old passes away and the +new becomes old. There is in the intellectual world, as in the +material, decay and growth; and even by the sunken grave of age stand +youth and joy. The history of progress is written in the lives of +infidels. Political rights have been preserved by traitors; +intellectual rights by infidels. + +To attack the kings was treason; to dispute the priests blasphemy. The +sword and cross have always been allies; they defended each other. The +throne and altar are twins--vultures born of the same egg. It was James +I. who said: "No king, no bishop; no church, no crown; no tyrant in +heaven, no tyrant on earth." Every monarchy that has disgraced the +world, every despotism that has covered the cheeks of men with fear has +been copied after the supposed despotism of hell. The king owned the +bodies and the priest owned the souls; one lived on taxes and the +other on alms; one was a robber and the other a beggar. + +The history of the world will not show you one charitable beggar. He +who lives on charity never has anything to give away. The robbers and +beggars controlled not only this world, but the next. The king made +laws, the priest made creeds; with bowed backs the people received and +bore the burdens of the one, and with the open mouth of wonder the creed +of the other. If any aspired to be free they were crushed by the king, +and every priest was a hero who slaughtered the children of the brave. +The king ruled by force, the priest by fear and by the bible. The king +said to the people: "God made you peasants and me a king; He clothed +you in rags and housed you in hovels; upon me He put robes and gave me +a palace." Such is the justice of God. The priest said to the people: +"God made you ignorant and vile, me holy and wise; obey me, or God will +punish you here and hereafter." Such is the mercy of God. + +Infidels are the intellectual discoverers. Infidels have sailed the +unknown sea and have discovered the isles and continents in the vast +realms of thought. What would the world have been had infidels never +existed? What the infidel is in religion the inventor is in mechanics. +What the infidel is in religion the man willing to fight the hosts of +tyranny is in the political world. An infidel is a gentleman who has +discovered a fact and is not afraid to tell about it. There has been +for many thousands of years an idea prevalent that in some way you can +prove whether the theories defended or advanced by a man are right or +wrong by showing what kind of a man he was, what kind of a life he +lived, and what manner of death he died. There is nothing to this. It +makes no difference what the character of the man was who made the first +multiplication table. It is absolutely true, and whenever you find an +absolute fact, it makes no difference who discovered it. The golden +rule would have been just as good if it had first been whispered by the +devil. + +It is good for what it contains, not because a certain man said it. Gold +is just as good in the hands of crime as in the hands of virtue. +Whatever it may be, it is gold. A statement made by a great man is not +necessarily true. A man entertains certain opinions, and then he is +proscribed because he refuses to change his mind. He is burned to +ashes, and in the midst of the flames he cries out that he is of the +same opinion still. Hundreds then say that he has sealed his testimony +with his blood, and that his doctrines must be true. All the martyrs in +the history of the world are not sufficient to establish the correctness +of any one opinion. Martyrdom as a rule establishes the sincerity of +the martyr, not the correctness of his thought. Things are true or +false independently of the man who entertains them. Truth cannot be +affected by opinion; an error cannot be believed sincerely enough to +make it the truth. No Christian will admit that any amount of heroism +displayed by a Mormon is sufficient to show that Joseph Smith was an +inspired prophet. All the courage and culture, all the poetry and art +of ancient Greece do not even tend to establish the truth of any myth. + +The testimony of the dying concerning some other world, or in regard to +the supernatural, cannot be any better than that of the living. In the +early days of Christian experience an intrepid faith was regarded as a +testimony in favor of the church. No doubt, in the arms of death, many +a one went back and died in the lay of the old faith. After awhile +Christians got to dying and clinging to their faith; and then it was +that Christians began to say: "No man can die serenely without clinging +to the cross." According to the theologians, God has always punished +the dying who did not happen to believe in Him. As long as men did +nothing except to render their fellowmen wretched, God maintained the +strictest neutrality, but when some honest man expressed a doubt as to +the Jewish scriptures, or prayed to the wrong god, or to the right God +by the wrong man, then the real God leaped like a wounded tiger upon +this dying man, and from his body tore his wretched soul. + +There is no recorded instance where the uplifted hand of murder has been +paralyzed, or the innocent have been shielded by God. Thousands of +crimes are committed every day, and God has no time to prevent them. He +is too busy numbering hairs and matching sparrows; He is listening for +blasphemy; He is looking for persons who laugh at priests; He is +examining baptismal registers; He is watching professors in colleges +who begin to doubt the geology of Moses or the astronomy of Joshua. All +kinds of criminals, except infidels, meet death with reasonable +serenity. As a rule, there is nothing in the death of a pirate to cast +discredit upon his profession. The murderer upon the scaffold smilingly +exhorts the multitude to meet him in heaven. The Emperor Constantine, +who lifted Christianity into power, murdered his wife and oldest son. + +Now and then, in the history of the world, there has been a man of +genius, a man of intellectual honesty. These men have denounced the +superstition of their day. They were honest enough to tell their +thoughts. Some of them died naturally in their beds, but it would not +do for the church to admit that they died peaceably; that would show +that religion was not necessary in the last moments. The first grave, +the first cathedral; the first corpse was the first priest. If there was +no death in the world there would be no superstition. The church has +taken great pains to show that the last moments of all infidels have +been infinitely wretched. Upon this point, Catholics and Protestants +have always stood together. They are no longer men; they become hyenas, +they dig open graves. They devour the dead. It is an auto da fe +presided over by God and his angels. These men believed in the +accountability of men in the practice of virtue and justice. They +believed in liberty, but they did not believe in the inspiration of the +bible. That was their crime. In order to show that infidels died +overwhelmed with remorse and fear they have generally selected from all +the infidels since the days of Christ until now five men--the Emperor +Julian, Bruno, Diderot, David Hume and Thomas Paine. + +They forget that Christ himself was not a Christian, that He did what He +could to tear down the religion of His day; that He held the temple in +contempt. I like Him because He held the old Jewish religion in +contempt; because He had sense enough to say that doctrine was not +true. In vain have their calumniators been called upon to prove their +statements. They simply charge it, they simply relate it, but that is +no evidence. The Emperor Julian did what he could to prevent Christians +destroying each other. He held pomp and pride in contempt. In battle +with the Persians he was mortally wounded. Feeling that he had but a +short time to live, he spent his last hours in discussing with his +friends the immortality of the soul. He declared that he was satisfied +with his conduct, and that he had no remorse to express for any act he +had ever done. + +The first great infidel was Giordano Bruno. He was born in the year of +grace 1550. He was a Dominican friar--Catholic--and afterwards he +changed his mind. + +The reason he changed was because he had a mind. He was a lover of +nature, and said to the poor hermits in their caves, to the poor monks +in their monasteries, to the poor nuns in their cells: "Come out in the +glad fields; come and breathe the fresh, free air; come and enjoy all +the beauty there is in the world. There is no God who can be made +happier by you being miserable; there is no God who delights to see +upon the human face the tears of pain, of grief, of agony. Come out and +enjoy all there is of human life; enjoy progress, enjoy thought, enjoy +being somebody and belonging to yourself." + +He revolted at the idea of transubstantiation; he revolted at the idea +that the eternal God could be in a wafer. He revolted at the idea that +you could make the Trinity out of dough--bake God in an oven as you +would a biscuit. I should think he would have revolted. The idea of a +man devouring the creator of the universe by swallowing a piece of +bread. And yet that is just as sensible as any of it. Those who, when +smitten on one cheek turn the other, threatened to kill this man. He +fled from his native land and was a vagabond in nearly every nation of +Europe. He declared that he fought not what men really believed, but +what they pretended to believe. And, do you know, that is the business +I am in? I am simply saying what other people think; I am furnishing +clothes for their children, I am putting on exhibition their offspring, +and they like to hear it, they like to see it. We have passed midnight +in the history of the world. Bruno was driven from his native country +because he taught the rotation of the earth; you can see what a +dangerous man he must have been in a well regulated monarchy. You see +he had found a fact, and a fact has the same effect upon religion that +dynamite has upon a Russian czar. A fellow with a new fact was +suspected and arrested, and they always thought they could destroy it by +burning him, but they never did. All the fires of martyrdom never +destroyed one truth; all the churches of the world have never made one +lie true. Germany and France would not tolerate Bruno. According to the +Christian system, this world was the center of everything. The stars +were made out of what little God happened to have left when He got the +world done. God lived up in the sky, and they said this earth must rest +upon something, and finally science passed its hand clear under, and +there was nothing. It was self-existent in infinite space. Then the +church began to say they didn't say it was flat--not so awful flat--it +was kind of rounding. According to the ancient Christians God lived +from all eternity, and never worked but six days in His whole life, and +then had the impudence to tell us to be industrious. I heard of a man +going to California over the plains, and, there was a clergyman on +board, and he had a great deal to say, and finally he fell in +conversation with the '49-er, and the latter said to the clergyman: "Do +you believe that God made this world in six days?" "Yes, I do." They +were then going along the Humboldt. Says he: "Don't you think He could +put in another day to advantage right around here?" + +Bruno went to England and delivered lectures at Oxford. He found that +there was nothing taught there but superstition, and so called Oxford +the "wisdom of learning." Then they told him they didn't want him any +more. He went back to Italy, where there was a kind of fascination that +threw him back to the very doors of the Inquisition. He was arrested +for teaching that there were other worlds, and that stars are suns +around which revolve other planets. He was in prison for six years. +(During those six years Galileo was teaching mathematics.) Six years in +a dungeon; and then he was tried, denounced by the Inquisition, +excommunicated, condemned by brute force, pushed upon his knees while he +received the benediction of the church, and on the 16th of February, in +the year of our Lord 1600, he was burned at the stake. + +He believed that the world is animated by an intelligent soul, the cause +of force but not of matter; that matter and force have existed from +eternity; that this force lives in all things, even in such as appear +not to live--in the rock as much as in the man; that matter is the +mother of forms and the grace of forms; that the matter and force +together constitute God. He was a pantheist--that is to say, he was an +atheist. He had the courage to die for what he believed to be right. +The murder of Bruno will never, in my judgment, be completely and +perfectly revenged until from the city of Rome shall be swept every +vestige of priests and pope--until from the shapeless ruins of St. +Peter's, the crumbled Vatican and the fallen cross of Rome, rises a +monument sacred to the philosopher, the benefactor and the martyr-- +Bruno. + +Voltaire was born in 1694. When he was born, the natural was about the +only thing that the church did not believe in. Monks sold amulets, and +the priests cured in the name of the church. The worship of the devil +was actually established, which today is the religion of China. They +say: "God is good; He won't bother you; Joss is the one." They offer +him gifts, and try and soften his heart;--so, in the middle ages, the +poor people tried to see if they could not get a short cut, and trade +directly with the devil, instead of going round-about through the +church. In these days witnesses were cross-examined with instruments of +torture. Voltaire did more for human liberty than any other man who +ever lived or died. He appealed to the common sense of mankind--he held +up the great contradictions of the sacred scriptures in a way that no +man, once having read him, could forget. For one, I thank Voltaire for +the liberty I am enjoying this moment. How small a man a priest looked +when he pointed his finger at him; how contemptible a king. + +Toward the last of May, 1778, it was whispered in Paris that Voltaire +was dying. He expired with the most perfect tranquility. There have +been constructed most shameless lies about the death of this great and +wonderful man, compared with whom all his calumniators, living or dead, +were but dust and vermin. From his throne at the foot of the Alps he +pointed the finger of scorn at every hypocrite in Europe. He was the +pioneer of his century. + +In 1771, in Scotland, David Hume was born. Scotch Presbyterianism is +the worst form of religion that has ever been produced. The Scotch Kirk +had all the faults of the Church of Rome, without a redeeming feature. +The church hated music, despised painting, abhorred statuary, and held +architecture in contempt. Anything touched with humanity, with the +weakness of love, with the dimple of joy, was detested by the Scotch +Kirk. God was to be feared; God was infinitely practical; no nonsense +about God. They used to preach four times a day. They preached on +Friday before the Sunday upon which they partook of the sacrament, and +then on Saturday; four sermons on Sunday, and two or three on Monday to +sober up on. They were bigoted and heartless. One case will +illustrate. In the beginning of this nineteenth century a boy seventeen +years of age was indicted at Edinburgh for blasphemy. He had given it as +his opinion that Moses had learned magic in Egypt, and had fooled the +Jews. They proved that on two or three occasions, when he was real +cold, he jocularly remarked that he wished he was in hell, so that he +could warm up. He was tried, convicted, and sentenced to be hanged. He +recanted; he even wrote that he believed the whole business; and that +he just said it for pure devilment. It made no difference. They hung +him, and his bruised and bleeding corpse was denied to his own mother, +who came and besought them to let her take her boy home. That was +Scotch Presbyterianism. If the devil had been let loose in Scotland he +would have improved that country at that time. + +David Hume was one of the few Scotchmen who was not owned by the church. +He had the courage to examine things for himself, and to give his +conclusion to the world. His life was unstained by an unjust act. He +did not, like Abraham, turn a woman from his door with his child in her +arms. He did not, like King David, murder a man that he might steal his +wife. He didn't believe in Scotch Presbyterianism. I don't see how any +good man ever did. Just think of going to the day of judgment, if there +is one, and standing up before God and admitting, without a blush, that +you have lived and died a Scotch Presbyterian. I would expect the next +sentence would be, "Depart ye cursed in everlasting fire." Hume took +the ground that a miracle could not be used as evidence until you had +proved the miracle. Of course that excited the church. Why? Because +they could not prove one of them. How are you going to prove a miracle? +Who saw it, and who would know a devil if he did see him? Hume insisted +that at the bottom of all good is something useful; that after all, +human happiness was the great object, end, and aim of life; that virtue +was not a termagant, with sunken cheeks and frightful eyes, but was the +most beautiful thing in the world, and would strew your path with +flowers from the cradle to the grave. When he died they gave an account +of how he had suffered. They knew that the horrors of death would fall +upon him, and that God would get his revenge. But his attending +physician said that his death was the most serene and most perfectly +tranquil of any he had ever seen. Adam Smith said he was as near +perfect as the frailty incident to humanity would allow human being to +be. + +The next is Benedict Spinoza, a Jew, born at Amsterdam in 1768. He +studied theology, and asked the rabbis too many questions, and talked +too much about what he called reason, and finally he was excommunicated +from the synagogue, and became an outcast at the age of twenty-four, +without friends. Cursed, anathematized, bearing upon his forehead the +mark of Cain, he undertook to solve the problem of the universe. To him +the universe was one. The infinite embraced the all. That all was God. +He was right; the universe is all there is, and if God does not exist +in the universe He exists nowhere. The idea of putting some little +Jewish jehovah outside the universe, as if to say that from an eternity +of idleness he woke up one morning and thought he would make something. + +The propositions of Spinoza are as luminous as the stars, and his +demonstrations, each one of them, is a Gibraltar, behind which logic +sits laughing at all the sophistries of theological thought. In every +relation of life he was just, true, gentle, patient, loving, +affectionate. He died in 1812. In his life of forty-four years he had +climbed to the very highest alpine of human thought. He was a great and +splendid man, an intellectual hero, one of the benefactors, one of the +Titans of our race. + +And now I will say a few words about our infidels. We had three, to say +the least of them--Paine, Franklin and Jefferson. In their day the +colonies were filled with superstition, and the Puritans with the spirit +of persecution. Law, savage, ignorant and malignant, had been passed in +every colony for the purpose of destroying intellectual liberty. Manly +freedom was unknown. The toleration act of Maryland tolerated only +chickens, not thinkers, not investigators. It tolerated faith, not +brains. The charity of Roger Williams was not extended to one who +denied the bible. Let me show you how we have advanced. Suppose you +took every man and woman out of the Penitentiary in New England and +shipped them to a new country where man before had never trod, and told +them to make a government, and constitution, and a code of laws for +themselves. I say tonight that they would make a better constitution and +a better code of laws than any that were made in any of the original +thirteen colonies of the United States. + +Not that they are better men, not that they are more honest, but that +they have got more sense. They have been touched with the dawn of the +eternal day of liberty that will finally come to this world. They would +have more respect for others' rights than they had at that time. But +the churches were jealous of each other, and we got a constitution +without religion in it from the mutual jealousies of the church, and +from the genius of men like Paine, Franklin and Jefferson. We are +indebted to them for a constitution without a God in it. They knew that +if you put God in there, an infinite God, there wouldn't be any room for +the people. Our fathers retired Jehovah from politics. Our fathers, +under the directions and leadership of those infidels, said, "All power +comes from the consent of the governed." George Washington wanted to +establish a church by law in Virginia. Thomas Jefferson prevented it. +Under the guaranty of liberty of conscience which was given, our +legislation has improved, and it will not be many years before all laws +touching liberty of conscience, excepting it may be in the State of +Delaware, will be blotted out, and when that time comes we or our +children may thank the infidels of 1776. The church never pretended +that Franklin died in fear. Franklin wrote no books against the bible. +He thought it useless to cast the pearls of thought before the swine of +his generation. + +Jefferson was a statesman. He was the author of the Declaration of +Independence, founder of a university, father of a political body, +president of the United States, a statesman, and a philosopher. He was +too powerful for the churches of his day. Paine attacked the Trinity +and the bible both. He had done these things openly--His arguments were +so good that his reputation got bad. I want you to recollect tonight +that he was the first man who wrote these words: "The United States of +America." I want you to know tonight that he was the first man who +suggested the Federal Constitution. I want you to know that he did more +for the actual separation from Great Britain than any man that ever +lived. I want you to know that he did as much for liberty with his pen +as any soldier did with his sword. I want you to know that during the +Revolution his "Crisis" was the pillar of fire by night and a cloud by +day. I want you to know that his "Common Sense" was the one star in +the horizon of despotism. I want you to know that he did as much as any +living man to give our free flag to the free air. He was not content to +waste all his energies here. When the volcano covered Europe with the +shreds of robes and the broken fragments of thrones, Paine went to +France. He was elected by four constituencies. He had the courage to +vote against the death of Louis, and was imprisoned. He wrote to +Washington, the president, and asked him to interfere. Washington threw +the letter in the wastebasket of forgetfulness. When Paine was finally +released he gave his opinion of George Washington, and, under such +circumstances, I say a man can be pardoned for having said even unjust +things. The eighteenth century was crowning its gray hairs with the +wreaths of progress, and Thomas Paine said: "I will do something to +liberate mankind from superstition." He wrote the "Age of Reason." For +his good, he wrote it too soon; for ours, not a day too quick. From +that moment he was a despised and calumniated man. When he came back to +this country he could not safely walk the streets for fear of being +mobbed. Under the Constitution he had suggested, his rights were not +safe; under the flag that he had helped give to heaven, with which he +had enriched the air, his liberty was not safe. Is it not a disgrace to +us that all the lies that have been told about him, and will be told +about him, are a perpetual disgrace? I tell you that upon the grave of +Thomas Paine the churches of America have sacrificed their reputation +for veracity. Who can hate a man with a creed: + +"I believe in one God and no more, and I hope for immortality; I +believe in the equality of man, and that religious duty consists in +doing justice, in doing mercy, and in endeavoring to make our fellow- +creatures happy. It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be +faithful to himself. One good schoolmaster is worth a thousand priests. +Man has no property in man, and the key of heaven is in the keeping of +no saint." + +Grand, splendid, brave man!--with some faults, with many virtues; the +world is better because he lived; and if Thomas Paine had not lived I +could not have delivered this lecture here tonight. + +Did all the priests of Rome increase the mental wealth of man as much as +Bruno? Did all the priests of France do as great a work for the +civilization of this world as Diderot and Voltaire? Did all the +ministers of Scotland add as much to the sum of human knowledge as David +Hume? Have all the clergymen, monks, friars, ministers, priests, +bishops, cardinals and popes from the day of Pentecost to the last +election done as much for human liberty as Thomas Paine? What would the +world be now if infidels had never been? Infidels have been the flower +of all this world. Recollect, by infidels I mean every man who has made +an intellectual advance. By orthodox I mean a gentleman who is petrified +in his mind, whopping around intellectually, simply to save the funeral +expenses of his soul. Infidels are the creditors of all the years to +come. They have made this world fit to live in, and without them the +human brain would be as empty as the Chronicles soon will be. Unless +they preach something that the people want to hear, it is not a crime to +benefit our fellow-man intellectually. The churches point to their +decayed saints and their crumbled popes and say, "Do you know more than +all the ministers that ever lived?" And, without the slightest egotism +or blush, I say, "Yes; and the name of Humboldt outweighs them all." The +men who stand in the front rank, the men who know most of the secrets of +nature, the men who know most are today the advanced infidels of this +world. I have lived long enough to see the brand of intellectual +inferiority on every orthodox brain. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON TALMAGIAN THEOLOGY. + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: Nothing can be more certain than that no human +being can by any possibility control his thought. We are in this world +--we see, we hear, we feel, we taste; and everything in nature makes an +impression upon the brain, and that wonderful something, enthroned there +with these materials, weaves what we call thought, and the brain can no +more help thinking than the heart can help beating. The blood pursues +its old accustomed round without our will. The heart beats without +asking leave of us, and the brain thinks in spite of all that we can do. +This being true, no human being can justly be held responsible for his +thought any more than for the beating of his heart, any more than for +the course pursued by the blood, any more than for breathing air. And +yet for thousands of years thought has been thought to be a crime, and +thousands and millions have threatened us with eternal fire if we give +the product of that brain. Each brain, in my judgment, is a field where +nature sows the seeds of thought, and thought is the crop that man +reaps, and it certainly cannot be a crime to gather; it certainly +cannot be a crime to tell it, which simply amounts to the right to sell +your crop or to exchange your product for the product of some other +man's brain. That is all it is. Most brains--at least some--are rather +poor fields, and the orthodox worst of all. That field produces mostly +sorrel and mullin, while there are fields which, like the tropic world, +are filled with growth, and where you find the vine and palm, royal +children of the sun and brain. I then stand simply for absolute freedom +of thought--absolute; and I don't believe, if there be a God, that it +will be or can be pleasing to Him to see one of His children afraid to +express what he thinks. And, if I were God, I never would cease making +men until I succeeded in making one grand enough to tell his honest +opinion. + +Now there has been a struggle, you know, a long time between the +believers in the natural and the supernatural--between gentlemen who are +going to reward us in another world and those who propose to make life +worth living here and now. In all ages the priest, the medicine man, +the magician, the astrologer, in other words, gentlemen who have traded +upon the fear and ignorance of their fellow-man in all countries--they +have sought to, make their living out of others. There was a time when +a God presided over every department of human interest, when a man about +to take a voyage bribed the priest of Neptune so that he might have a +safe journey, and when he came back, he paid more, telling the priest +that he was infinitely obliged to him; that he had kept waves from the +sea and storms in their caves. And so, when one was sick he went to a +priest; when one was about to take a journey he visited the priest of +Mercury; if he were going to war he consulted the representative of +Mars. We have gone along. When the poor agriculturist plowed his +ground and put in the seed he went to the priest of some god and paid +him to keep off the frost. And the priest said he would do it; "but," +added the priest, "you must have faith." If the frost came early he +said, "You didn't have faith." And besides all that he says to him: +"Anything that has happened badly, after all, was for your good." Well, +we found out, day by day, that a good boat for the purpose of navigating +the sea was better than prayers, better than the influence of priests; +and you had better have a good captain attending to business than +thousands of priests ashore praying. + +We also found that we could cure some diseases, and just as soon as we +found that we could cure diseases we dismissed the priest. We have left +him out now of all of them, except it may be cholera and smallpox. When +visited by a plague some people get frightened enough to go back to the +old idea--go back to the priest, and the priest says: "It has been sent +as a punishment." Well, sensible people began to look about; they saw +that the good died as readily as the bad; they saw that this disease +would attack the dimpled child in the cradle and allow the murderer to +go unpunished; and so they began to think in time that it was not sent +as a punishment; that it was a natural result; and so the priest +stepped out of medicine. + +In agriculture we need him no longer; he has nothing to do with the +crops. All the clergymen in this world can never get one drop of rain +out of the sky; and all the clergymen in the civilized world could not +save one human life if they tried it. + +Oh, but they say, "We do not expect a direct answer to prayer; it is the +reflex action we are after." It is like a man endeavoring to lift +himself up by the straps of his boots; he will never do it, but he will +get a great deal of useful exercise. + +The missionary goes to some pagan land, and there he finds a man praying +to a god of stone, and it excites the wrath of the missionary. I ask you +tonight, does not that stone god answer prayer just as well as ours? +Does he not cause rain? Does he not delay frost? Does he not snatch +the ones that we love from the grasp of death precisely the same as +ours? Yet we have ministers that are still engaged in that business. +They tell us that they have been "called;" that they do not go at their +profession as other people do, but they are "called;" that God, looking +over the world, carefully selects His priests, His ministers, and His +exhorters. + +I don't know. They say their calling is sacred. I say to you tonight +that every kind of business that is honest that a man engages in for the +purpose of feeding his wife and children, for the purpose of building up +his home, for the purpose of feeding and clothing the ones he loves-- +that business is sacred. They tell us that statesmen and poets, +philosophers, heroes, and scientists and inventors come by chance; that +all other departments depend entirely upon luck; but when God wants +exhorters He selects. + +They also tell us that it is infinitely wicked to attack the Christian +religion, and when I speak of the Christian religion I do not refer +especially to the Christianity of the new testament; I refer to the +Christianity of the orthodox church, and when I refer to the clergy I +refer to the clergy of the orthodox church. There was a time when men +of genius were in the pulpits of the orthodox church; that time is +past. When you find a man with brains now occupying an orthodox pulpit +you will find him touched with heresy--every one of them. + +How do they get most of these ministers? There will be a man in the +neighborhood not very well--not having constitution enough to be wicked, +and it instantly suggests itself to everybody who sees him that he would +make an excellent minister. There are so many other professions, so +many cities to be built, so many railways to be constructed, so many +poems to be sung, so much music to be composed, so many papers to edit, +so many books to read, so many splendid things, so many avenues to +distinction and glory, so many things beckoning from the horizon of the +future to every great and splendid man that the pulpit has to put up +with the leavings--ravelings, selvage. + +These preachers say, "How can any man be wicked and infamous enough to +attack our religion and take from the world the solace of orthodox +Christianity?" What is that solace? Let us be honest. What is it? If +the Christian religion be true, the grandest, greatest, noblest of the +world are now in hell, and the narrowest and meanest are now in heaven. +Humboldt, the Shakespeare of science, the most learned man of the most +learned nation, with a mind grand enough to grasp not simply this globe, +but this constellation--a man who shed light upon the whole earth--a man +who honored human nature, and who won all his victories on the field of +thought--that man, pure and upright, noble beyond description, if +Christianity be true, is in hell this moment. That is what they call +"solace"--"tidings of great joy." LaPlace, who read the heavens like an +open book, who enlarged the horizon of human thought, is there too. +Beethoven, Master of melody and harmony, who added to the joy of human +life, and who has borne upon the wings of harmony and melody millions of +spirits to the height of joy, with his heart still filled with melody-- +he is in hell today. Robert Burns, poet of love and liberty, and from +his heart, like a spring gurgling and running down the highways, his +poems have filled the world with music. They have added luster to human +love. That man who, in four lines, gave all the philosophy of life-- + + To make a happy fireside clime + For weans and wife + Is the true pathos and + Sublime Of human life + +--he is there with the rest. + +Charles Dickens, whose genius will be a perpetual shield, saving +thousands and millions of children from blows, who did more to make us +tender with children than any other writer that ever touched a pen--he +is there with the rest, according to our Christian religion. A little +while ago there died in this country a philosopher--Ralph Waldo Emerson +--a man of the loftiest ideal, a perfect model of integrity, whose mind +was like a placid lake and reflected truths like stars. If the +Christian religion be true, he is in perdition today. And yet he sowed +the seeds of thought, and raised the whole world intellectually. And +Longfellow, whose poems, tender as the dawn, have gone into millions of +homes, not an impure, not a stained word in them all; but he was not a +Christian. He did not believe in the "tidings of great joy." He didn't +believe that God so loved the world that He intended to damn most +everybody. And now he has gone to his reward. And Charles Darwin--a +child of nature--one who knew more about his mother than any other child +she ever had. What is philosophy? It is to account for phenomena by +which we are surrounded--that is, to find the hidden cord that unites +everything. Charles Darwin threw more light upon the problem of human +existence than all the priests who ever lived from Melchisedec to the +last exhorter. He would have traversed this globe on foot had it been +possible to have found one new fact or to have corrected one error that +he had made. No nobler man has lived--no man who has studied with more +reverence (and by reverence I mean simply one who lives and studies for +the truth)--no man who studied with more reverence than he. And yet, +according to orthodox religion, Charles Darwin is in hell. Consolation! + +So, if Christianity be true, Shakespeare, the greatest man who ever +touched this planet, within whose brain were the fruits of all thought +past, the seeds of all to be--Shakespeare, who was an intellectual ocean +toward which all rivers ran, and from which now the isles and continents +of thought received their dew and rain--that man who has added more to +the intelligence of the world than any other who ever lived--that man, +whose creations will live as long as man has imagination, and who has +given more happiness upon the stage and more instruction than has flown +from all the pulpits of this earth--that man is in hell, too. And +Harriet Martineau, who did as much for English liberty as any man, brave +and free--she is there. "George Eliot," the greatest woman the English- +speaking people ever produced--she is with the rest. And this is called +"Tidings of great joy." + +Who are in heaven? How could there be much of a heaven without the men +I have mentioned--the great men that have endeavored to make the world +grander--such men as Voltaire, such men as Diderot, such men as the +encyclopedists, such men as Hume, such men as Bruno, such men as Thomas +Paine? If Christianity is true, that man who spent his life in breaking +chains is now wearing the chains of God; that man who wished to break +down the prison walls of tyranny is now in the prison of the most +merciful Christ. It will not do. I can hardly express to you today my +contempt for such a doctrine; and if it be true, I make my choice +today, and I prefer hell. + +Who is in heaven? John Calvin! John Knox! Jonathan Edwards! +Torquemada--the builders of dungeons, the men who have obstructed the +march of the human race. These are the men who are in heaven; and who +else? Those who never had brain enough to harbor a doubt. And they ask +me: How can you be wicked enough to attack the Christian religion?" + +"Oh," but they say, "God will never forgive you if you attack the +orthodox religion." Now, when I read the history of this world, and +when I think of the experience of my fellow-men, when I think of the +millions living in poverty, and when I know that in the very air we +breathe and in the sunlight that visits our homes there lurks an +assassin ready to take our lives, and even when we believe we are in the +fullness health and joy, they are undermining us with their contagion-- +when I know that we are surrounded by all these evils, and when I think +of what man has suffered, I do not wonder if God can forgive man, but I +often ask myself, "Can man forgive God?" + +There is another thing. Some of these ministers have talked about me, +and have made it their business to say unpleasant things. Among others +the Rev. Mr. Talmage, of Brooklyn--a man of not much imagination, but of +most excellent judgment--charges that I am a "blasphemer." A frightful +charge! Terrible, if true! What is blasphemy? It is a sin, as I +understand, against God. Is God infinite? He is, so they say; He is +infinite; absolutely conditionless? Can I injure the conditionless? +No. Can I sin against anything that I cannot injure? No. That is a +perfectly plain proposition. I can injure my fellow-man, because he is +a conditioned being, and I can help to change those conditions. He must +have air; he must have food, he must have clothing; he must have +shelter; but God is conditionless, and I cannot by any possibility +affect Him. Consequently I cannot sin against Him. But I can sin +against my fellow-man, so that I ought to be a thousand times more +careful of doing injustice than of uttering blasphemy. There is no +blasphemy but injustice, and there is no worship except the practice of +justice. It is a thousand times more important that we should love our +fellow-men than that we should love God. It is better to love wife and +children than to love Jesus Christ, He is dead; they are alive. I can +make their lives happy and fill all their hours with the fullness of +joy. That is my religion; and the holiest temple ever erected beneath +the stars is the home; the holiest altar is the fireside. + +What is this blasphemy? First, it is a geographical question. There +was a time when it was blasphemy in Jerusalem to say that Christ was +God. In this country it is now blasphemy to say that He was not. It is +blasphemy in Constantinople to deny that Mahomet was the Prophet of God; +it is blasphemy here to say that he was. It is a geographical question; +you cannot tell whether it is blasphemy or not without looking at the +map. What is blasphemy? It is what the mistake says about the fact. +It is what the last year's leaf says about this year's bud. It is the +last cry of the defeated priest. Blasphemy is the little breast-work +behind which hypocrisy hides; behind which mental impotency feels safe. +There is no blasphemy but the avowal of thought, and he who speaks what +he thinks blasphemes. + +That I have had the hardihood--it doesn't take much--to attack the +sacred scriptures. I have simply given my opinion; and yet they tell +me that that book is holy--that you can take rags, make pulp, put ink +on it, bind it in leather, and make something holy. The Catholics have +a man for a pope; the Protestants have a book. The Catholics have the +best of it. If they elect an idiot he will not live forever, and it is +impossible for us to get rid of the barbarisms in our book. The +Catholics said, "We will not let the common people read the bible." +That was right. If it is necessary to believe it in order to get to +heaven no man should run the risk of reading it. To allow a man to read +the bible on such conditions is to set a trap for his soul. The right +way is never to open it, and when you get to the day of judgment, and +they ask you if you believe it say "Yes, I have never read it." The +Protestant gives the book to a poor man and says: "Read it. You are at +liberty to read it." "Well, suppose I don't believe it, when I get +through?" "Then you will be damned." No man should be allowed to read it +on those conditions. And yet Protestants have done that infinitely +cruel thing. If I thought it was necessary to believe it I would say +never read another line in it but just believe it and stick to it. And +yet these people really think that there is something miraculous about +the book. They regard it as a fetish--a kind of amulet--a something +charmed, that will keep off evil spirits, or bad luck, stop bullets, and +do a thousand handy-things for the preservation of life. + +I heard a story upon that subject. You know that thousands of them are +printed in the Sunday-school books. Here is one they don't print. There +was a poor man who had belonged to the church, but he got cold, and he +rather neglected it, and he had bad luck in his business, and he went +down and down and down until he hadn't a dollar--not a thing to eat; +and his wife said to him, "John, this comes of you having abandoned the +church, this comes of your having done away with family worship. Now, I +beg of you, let's go back." Well, John said it wouldn't do any harm to +try. So he took down the bible, blew the dust off it, read a little +from a chapter, and had family worship. As he was putting it up he +opened it again, and there was a $10 bill between the leaves. He rushed +out to the butcher's and bought meat, to the grocer's and bought tea and +bread, and butter and eggs, and rushed back home and got them cooked, +and the house was filled with the perfume of food; and he sat down at +the table, tears in every eye and a smile on every face. She said, "What +did I tell you?" Just then there was a knock on the door, and in came a +constable, who arrested him for passing a $10 counterfeit bill. + +They tell me that I ought not to attack the bible--that I have +misrepresented it, and among other things that I have said that, +according to the bible, the world was made of nothing. Well, what was +it made of? They say God created everything. Consequently, there must +have been nothing when He commenced. If he didn't make it of nothing, +what did he make it of? Where there was, nothing, He made something. +Yes; out of what? I don't know. This doctor of divinity, and I should +think such a divinity would need a doctor, says that God made the +universe out of His omnipotence. Why not out of His omniscience, or His +omnipresence? Omnipotence is not a raw material. It is the something +to work raw material with. Omnipotence is simply all powerful, and what +good would strength do with nothing? The weakest man ever born could +lift as much nothing as God. And he could do as much with it after he +got it lifted. And yet a doctor of divinity tells me that this world was +made of omnipotence. And right here let me say I find even in the mind +of the clergymen the seeds of infidelity. He is trying to explain +things. That is a bad symptom. The greater the miracle the greater the +reward for believing it. God cannot afford to reward a man for +believing anything reasonable. Why, even the scribes and Pharisees +would believe a reasonable thing. Do you suppose God is to crown you +with eternal joy and give you a musical instrument for believing +something where the evidence is clear? No, sir. The larger the miracle +the more grace. And let me advise the ministers of Chicago and of this +country, never to explain a miracle; it cannot be explained. If you +succeed in explaining it, the miracle is gone. If you fail you are gone. +My advice to the clergy is, use assertion; just say "it is so," and the +larger the miracle the greater the glory reaped by the eternal. And yet +this man is trying to explain, pretending that He had some raw material +of some kind on hand. And then I objected to the fact that He didn't +make the sun until the fourth day, and that, consequently, the grass +could not have grown--could not have thrown its mantle of green over the +shoulders of the hill--and that the trees would not blossom and cast +their shade upon the sod without some sunshine; and what does this man +say? Why, that the rocks, when they crystallized, emitted light, even +enough to raise a crop by. And he says "vegetation might have depended +on the glare of volcanoes in the moon." What do you think would be the +fate of agriculture depending on the "glare of volcanoes in the moon?" +Then he says "the aurora borealis." Why, you couldn't raise cucumbers +by the aurora borealis. And he says "liquid rivers of molten granite." +I would like to have a farm on that stream. He guesses everything of +the kind except lightning-bugs and foxfire. Now, think of that +explanation in the last half of the nineteenth century by a minister. +The truth is, the gentleman who wrote the account knew nothing of +astronomy--knew as little as the modern preacher does--just about the +same; and if they don't know more about the next world than they do +about this, it is hardly worth while talking with them on the subject. +There was a time, you know, when the minister was the educated man in +the country, and when, if you wanted to know anything, you asked him. +Now you do if you don't. So I find this man expounding the flood, and +he says it was not very wet. He begins to doubt whether God had water +enough to cover the whole earth. Why not stand by his book? He says +that some of the animals got into the ark to keep out of the wet. I +believe that is the way the Democrats got to the polls last Tuesday. + +Another divine says that God would have drowned them all, but it was +purely for the sake of economy that He saved any of them. Just think of +that! According to this Christian religion all the people in the world +were totally depraved through the fall, and God found he could not do +anything with them, so he drowned them. Now, if God wanted to get up a +flood big enough to drown sin, why did He not get up a flood big enough +to drown the snake? That was His mistake. Now, these people say that +if Jonah had walked rapidly up and down the whale's belly he would have +avoided the action of its gastric-juice. Imagine Jonah sitting in the +whale's mouth, on the back of a molar-tooth; and yet this doctor of +divinity would have us believe that the infinite God of the universe was +sitting under his gourd and made the worm that was at the root of +Jonah's vine. Great business. + +David is said to have been a man after God's own heart, and if you will +read the twenty-eighth chapter of Chronicles you will find that David +died full of years and honors. So I find in the great book of prophecy, +concerning Solomon: "He shall reign in peace and quietness, he shall be +my son, and I shall be his father, and I will preserve his Kingdom." +Was that true? + +It won't do. But they say God couldn't do away with slavery suddenly, +nor with polygamy all at once--that He had to do it gradually--that if +He had told this man you mustn't have slaves, and one man that he must +have one wife, and one wife that she must have one husband, He would +have lost the control over them notwithstanding all the miraculous +power. Is it not wonderful that when they did all these miracles nobody +paid any attention to them? Isn't it wonderful that, in Egypt, when +they performed these wonders--when the waters were turned into blood, +when the people were smitten with disease and covered with the horrible +animals--isn't it wonderful that it had no influence on them? Do you +know why all these miracles didn't affect the Egyptians? They were +there at the time. Isn't it wonderful, too, that the Jews who had been +brought from bondage--had followed a cloud by day and a pillar of fire +by night--who had been miraculously fed, and for whose benefit water had +leaked from the rocks and followed them up and down hill through all +their journeying--isn't it wonderful, when they had seen the earth open +and their companions swallowed, when they had seen God Himself write in +robes of flames from Sinai's crags, when they had seen Him talking face +to face with Moses--isn't it a little wonderful that He had no more +influence over them? They were there at the time. And that is the +reason they didn't mind it--they were there. And yet, with all these +miracles, this God could not prevent polygamy and slavery. Was there no +room on the two tables of stone to put two more commandments? Better +have written them on the back, then. Better have left the others all +off and put these two on. Man shall not enslave his brother, (you shall +not live on unpaid labor), and the one man shall have the one wife. If +these two had been written and the other ten left off, it would have +been a thousand times better for this world. + +But, they say, God works gradually. No hurry about it. He is not +gradual about keeping Sunday, because, if He met a man picking up +sticks, He killed Him; but in other things He is gradual. Suppose we +wanted now to break certain cannibals of eating missionaries--wanted to +stop them from eating them raw? Of course we would not tell them, in +the first place, it was wrong. That would not do. We would induce them +to cook them. That would be the first step toward civilization. We +would have them stew them. We would not say it is wrong to eat +missionary, but it is wrong to eat missionary raw. Then, after they +began stewing them, we would put in a little mutton--not enough to +excite suspicion but just a little, and so, day by day, we would put in +a little more mutton and a little less missionary until, in about what +the bible calls "the fullness of time," we would have clear mutton and +no missionary. That is God's way. The next great charge against me is +that I have disgraced my parents by expressing my honest thoughts. No +man can disgrace his parents that way. I want my children to express +their real opinions, whether they agree with mine or not. I want my +children to find out more than I have found, and I would be gratified to +have them discover the errors I have made. And if my father and mother +were still alive I feel and know that I am pursuing a course of which +they would approve. I am true to my manhood. But think of it! Suppose +the father of Dr. Talmage had been a Methodist and his mother an +infidel. Then what. Would he have to disgrace them both to be a +Presbyterian. The disciples of Christ, according to this doctrine, +disgraced their parents. The founder of every new religion, according +to this doctrine, was a disgrace to his father and mother. Now there +must have been a time when a Talmage was not a Presbyterian, and the one +that left something else to join that church disgraced his father and +mother. Why, if this doctrine be true why do you send missionaries to +other lands and ask those people to disgrace their parents? If this +doctrine be true nobody has religious liberty except foundlings, and it +should be written over every Foundling Hospital: "Home for Religious +Liberty." It won't do. + +What is the next thing I have said? I have taken the ground, and I take +it again today, that the bible has only words of humiliation for woman. +The bible treats woman as the slave, the serf of man, and wherever that +book is believed in thoroughly woman is a slave. It is the infidelity in +the church that gives her what liberty she has today. Oh! but, says +the gentleman, think of the heroines in the bible. How could a book be +opposed to woman which has pictured such heroines? Well, that is a good +argument. Let's answer it. Who are the heroines? He tells us. The +first is Esther. Who was she? Esther is a very peculiar book, and the +story is about this: Ahasaerus was a king. His wife's name was Vashti. +She didn't please him. He divorced her, and advertised for another. A +gentleman by the name of Mordecai had a good looking niece, and he took +her to market. Her name was Esther. I don't feel like reading the +whole of the second chapter. It is sufficient to say she was selected. +After a time there was a gentleman by the name of Haman who, I should +think, was in the cabinet, according to the story. And this man +Mordecai began to put on considerable style because his niece was the +king's wife, and he would not bow, or he would not rise, or he would not +meet this gentleman with marks of distinguished consideration, so he +made up his mind to have him hung. Then they got out an order to kill +the Jews, and this Esther went to see the king. In those days they +believed in the Bismarkian style of government--all power came from the +king, not from the people; if anybody went to see this king without an +invitation, and he failed to hold out his sceptre to him, the person was +killed just to preserve the dignity of the monarch. When Esther arrived +he held out the sceptre, and there-upon she induced him to send out +another order for the fellows who were to kill the Jews, and they killed +75,000 or 80,000 of them. And they came back and said, "Kill Haman and +his ten sons," and they hung the family up. That is all there is to the +story. And yet this Esther is held up as a model of womanly grace and +tenderness, and there is not a more infamous story in the literature of +the world. + +The next heroine is Ruth. I admit, that is a very pretty story. But +Ruth was guilty of more things that would be deemed indiscreet than any +girl in Brooklyn. That is all there is about Ruth. The next heroine is +Hannah. And what do you suppose was the matter with her? She made a coat +for her boy; that's all. I have known a woman make a whole suit! The +next heroine was Abigail. She was the wife of Natal. King David had a +few soldiers with him, and he called at the house of Natal, and asked if +he could not get food for his men. Abigail went down to give him +something to eat, and she was very much struck with David, David +evidently fancied her. Natal died within a week. I think he was +poisoned. David and Abigail were married. If that had happened in +Chicago there would have been a coroner's jury, and an inquest; but +that is all there was to that. + +The next is Dorcas. She was in the new testament. She was real good to +the ministers. Those ladies have always stood well with the church. She +was real good to the poor. She died one day, and you never hear of her +again. + +Then there was that person that was raised from the dead. I would like +to know from a person that had recently been raised from the dead, where +he was when he was wanted, what he was traveling about, and what he was +engaged in. I cannot imagine a more interesting person than one that +has just been raised from the dead. Lazarus comes from the tomb, and I +think sometimes that there must be a mistake about it, because when they +come to die again thousands of people would say, "Why, he knows all +about it!" Would it not be noted if a man had two funerals? + +Now, then, these are all the heroines, to show you how little they +thought of woman in that day. In the days of the old testament they did +not even tell us when the mother of us all (Eve) died, nor where she is +buried, nor anything about it. They do not even tell us where the +mother of Christ sleeps, nor when she died. Never is she spoken of +after the morning of the resurrection. He who descended from the cross +went not to see her; and the son had no word for the broken-hearted +mother. + +The story is not true. I believe Christ was a great and good man, but +He had nothing about Him miraculous except the courage to tell what he +thought about the religion of His day. The new testament, in relating +what occurred between Christ and his mother, mentions three instances; +once, when they thought He had been lost in Jerusalem, when He said to +them, "Wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" Next, at +the marriage of Cana, when He said to the woman, "What have I to do with +thee?"--words which He never said; and again from the cross, "Mother, +behold Thy Son;" and to the disciple, "Behold thy Mother!" So of Mary +Magdalene. In some respects there is no character in the new testament +that so appeals to us as loving Christ--first at the sepulchre--and yet +when He meets her after the resurrection He had for her the comfort only +of the chilling words, "Touch me not!" I don't believe it. There were +thousands of heroic women then. There are heroic women now. Think of +the women who cling to fallen and disgraced husbands day by day, until +they reach the gutter, and who stoop down to lift them from that +position, and raise them up to be men once more! Every country is +civilized in proportion as it honors woman. There are women in England +working in mines, deformed by labor, that would become wild beasts were +it not for the love they bear for home. Can you find among the women of +the new testament any women that can equal the women born of +Shakespeare's brain? You can find no woman like Isabella, where reason +and purity blend into perfect truth; no woman like Juliet, where +passion and purity meet like red and white within the bosom of a flower; +no woman like Imogen, who said, "What is it to be false?" No woman like +Cordelia, that would not show her wealth of love in hope of gain; nor +like Hermione, who bore the cross of shame for years; nor like Miranda, +who told her love as the flower exposes its bosom to the sun; nor like +Desdemona, who was so pure that she could not suspect that another could +suspect her of a crime. + +And we are told that woman sinned first and man second; that man was +made first and woman not till afterwards. The idea is that we could +have gotten along without the woman well enough, but they never could +have gotten along without us. I tell you that love is better than +piety, love is better than all the ceremonial worship of the world, and +it is better to love something than to believe anything on this globe. +So this minister, seeking a mark to throw an arrow somewhere--trying to +find some little place in the armor--charges me with having disparaged +Queen Victoria. That you know is next to blasphemy. Well, I never did +anything of the kind--never said a word against her in in life, neither +as wife, or mother, or Queen--never doubted but that she is a good woman +enough, and I have always admitted that her reputation was good in the +neighborhood where she resides. I never had any other opinion. All I +said in the world was--I was endeavoring to show that we are now to have +an aristocracy of brain and heart--that is all--and I said, 'speaking of +Louis Napoleon, he was not satisfied with simply being an emperor and +having a little crown on his head, but wanted to prove that he had +something in his head, so he wrote the life of Julius Caesar, and that +made him a member of the French Academy; and speaking of King William, +upon whose head is the divine petroleum of authority, I asked how he +would like to exchange brains with Haeckel, the philosopher. Then I +went over to England, and said "Queen Victoria wears the garment of +power given her by blind fortune, by eyeless chance; 'George Eliot' is +arrayed in robes of glory, woven in the loom of her own genius." +Thereupon I am charged with disparaging a woman. And this priest, in +order to get even with me, digs open the grave of "George Eliot" and +endeavors to stain her unresisting dust. He calls her an adulteress-- +the vilest word in the languages of men--and he does it because she +hated the Presbyterian creed, because she, according to his definition, +was an atheist, because she lived without faith and died without fear, +because she grandly bore the taunts and slanders of the Christian world. +"George Eliot" carried tenderly in her heart the faults and frailties of +her race. She saw the highway of eternal right through all the winding +paths, where folly vainly stalks with thorn-pierced hands, the fading +flowers of selfish joy; and whatever you may think or I may think of +the one mistake in all her sad and loving life, I know and feel that in +the court where her conscience sat as judge she stood acquitted, pure as +light and stainless as a star. "George Eliot" has joined the choir +invisible whose music is the gladness of this world, and her wondrous +lines, her touching poems, will be read hundreds of years after every +sermon in which a priest has sought to stain her name shall have +vanished utterly from human speech. How appropriate here, with some +slight change, the words of Laertes at Ophelia's grave: + +Lay her in the earth; And from her fair and unpolluted flesh May violets +spring; I tell thee, priest and minister, A ministering angel shall this +woman be When thou liest howling. + +I have no words with which to express my loathing hatred and +condemnation of the man who will stain a noble woman's grave. + +The next argument in favor of the "sacred scriptures" is the argument of +numbers; and this minister congratulates himself that the infidels +could not carry a precinct, or a county, or a state in the United +States. Well, I tell you, they can come proportionately near it--just +in proportion that that part of the country is educated. The whole world +doesn't move together in one life. There has to be some man to take a +step forward and the people follow; and when they get where that man +was, some other Titan has taken another step, and you can see him there +on the great mountain of progress. That is why the world moves. There +must be pioneers, and if nobody is right except he who is with the +majority, then we must turn and walk toward the setting sun. He says +"We will settle this by suffrage." The Christian religion was submitted +to a popular vote in Jerusalem, and what was the result? "Crucify Him +"--an infamous result, showing that you can't depend on the vote of +barbarians. But I am told that there are 300,000,000 Christians in the +world. Well, what of it? There are more Buddhists. And they say, what +a number of bibles are printed!--more bibles than any other book. Does +this prove anything? True, because more of them. Suppose you should +find published in the New York Herald something about you, and you +should go to the editor and tell him: "That is a lie;" and he should +say: "That can't be; the Herald has the largest circulation of any +paper in the world." Three hundred millions of Christians, and here are +the nations that prove the truth of Christianity: Russia 80,000,000 +Christians. I am willing to admit it; a country without freedom of +speech, without freedom of press--a country in which every mouth is a +Bastille and every tongue a prisoner for life--a country in which +assassins are the best men in it. They call that Christian. Girls +sixteen years of age, for having spoken in favor of human liberty, are +now working in Siberian mines. That is a Christian country. Only a +little while ago a man shot at the emperor twice. The emperor was +protected by his armor. The man was convicted, and they asked him if he +wished religious consolation. "No." "Do you believe in a God?" "No;" +if there was a God there would be no Russia. Sixteen millions of +Christians in Spain--Spain that never touched a shore except as a +robber--Spain that took the gold and silver of the new world and used it +as an engine of oppression in the old--a country in which cruelty was +worship, in which murder was prayer--a country where flourished the +Inquisition--I admit Spain is a Christian country. If you don't believe +it I do. Read the history of Holland, read the history of South +America, read the history of Mexico--a chapter of cruelty beyond the +power of language to express. I admit that Spain is orthodox. If you +will go there you will find the man who robs you and asks God to forgive +you--a country where infidelity hasn't made much headway, but, thank +God, where there is even yet a dawn, where there are such men as +Castelar and others, who begin to see that one schoolhouse is equal to +three cathedrals and one teacher worth all the priests. + +Italy is another Christian nation, with 28,000,000 Christians. In Italy +lives the only authorized agent of God, the pope. For hundreds of years +Italy was the beggar of the earth, and held out both hands. Gold and +silver flowed from every land into her palms, and she became covered +with nunneries, monasteries, and the pilgrims of the world. Italy was +sacred dust. Her soil was a perpetual blessing, her sky was an eternal +smile. Italy was guilty not simply of the death of the Catholic church, +but Italy was dead and buried and would have been in her grave still had +it not been for Mazzini, Garibaldi, and Cavour. When the prophecy of +Garibaldi shall be fulfilled, when the priests, with spades in their +hands, shall dig ditches to drain the Pontine marshes, when the +monasteries shall be factories, when the whirling wheels of industry +shall drown the drowsy and hypocritical prayers, then and not till then, +will Italy be great and free. Italy is the only instance in our history +and in the history of the world, so far as we know, of the resurrection +of a nation. She is the first fruits of them that sleep. + +Portugal is another Christian country. She made her living in the slave +trade for centuries. I admit that all the blessings that that country +enjoyed flowed naturally from Catholicism, and we believe in the same +scriptures. If you don't believe it, read the history of the +persecution of the Jewish people. I admit that Germany is a Christian +nation; that is, Christians are in power. When the bill was introduced +for the purpose of ameliorating the condition of the Jews, Bismark spoke +against it, and said "Germany is a Christian nation, and therefore, we +cannot pass the bill." Austria is another Christian nation. If you +don't believe it, read the history of Hungary, and, if you still have +doubts, read the history of the partition of Poland. But there is one +good thing in that country. They believe in education, and education is +the enemy of ecclesiasticism. Every thoroughly educated man is his own +church, and his own pope, and his own priest. + +They tell me that the United States--our country--is Christian. I deny +it. It is neither Christian nor pagan; it is human. Our fathers +retired all the gods from politics. Our fathers laid down the doctrine +that the right to govern comes from the consent of the governed, and not +from the clouds. Our fathers knew that if they put an infinite God in +the Constitution there would be no room left for the people. Our +fathers used the language of Lincoln, and they made a government for the +people by the people. This is not a Christian country. Some gentleman +said, "How about Delaware?" I told him there was a man in Washington +some twenty or thirty years ago who came there and said he was a +Revolutionary soldier and wanted a pension. He was so bent and bowed +over that the wind blew his shoestrings into his eyes. They asked him +how old he was, and he said fifty years. "Why, good man, you can't get a +pension, because the war was over before you were born. You mustn't +fool us." "Well," said he, "I'll tell you the truth: I lived sixty +years in Delaware, but I never count it, and hope God won't." And these +Christian nations which have been brought forward as the witnesses of +the truth of the scriptures owe $25,000,000,000, which represents +Christian war, Christian cannon, Christian shot, and Christian shell. +The sum is so great that the imagination is dazed in its contemplation. +That is the result of loving your neighbor as yourself. + +The next great argument brought forward by these gentlemen is the +persecution of the Jews. We are told in the nineteenth century that God +has the Jews persecuted simply for the purpose of establishing the +authenticity of the scriptures, and every Jewish home burned in Russia +throws light on the gospel, and every violated Jewish maiden is another +evidence that God still takes an interest in the holy scriptures. That +is their doctrine. They are "fulfilling prophecy." The Christian grasps +the Jew, strips him, robs him, makes him an outcast, and then points to +him as a fulfillment of prophecy; and we are today laying the +foundation of future persecution--we are teaching our children the +monstrous falsehood that Jews crucified God, and the nation consented. +They crucified a good man. What nation has not? What race has not? +Think of the number killed by the Presbyterians; by the Catholics. +Every sect, with maybe two or three exceptions, have crucified their +fellows, and every race has burned its greatest and its best. And yet +we are filling the minds of children with hatred of the Jewish people. +It is a poor business. "Ah?" but they say, "these people are cursed by +God." I say they never had any good fortune until the Jehovah of the +bible deserted them. Whenever they have had a reasonable chance they +have been the most prosperous people in the world. I never saw one +begging. I never saw one in the criminal dock. For hundreds of years +they were not allowed to own any land, for hundreds of years they were +not allowed to work at any trade; they were driven simply to dealing in +money, and in precious stones, and things of that character, and, by a +kind of poetic justice, they have today the control of the money of the +world. I am glad to see that kings and emperors go to the offices of +the Jews, with their hats in their hands, to have their notes +discounted. And yet I am told by clergymen that all this infamy has +been kept up simply to establish the truth of the gospel. I despise such +doctrine. As long as the liberty of one Jew is unsafe, my liberty is +not secure. Liberty for all, and not until then will the liberty of any +be assured. "Ah"; but says this man, "nobody ever died cheerfully for +a lie. The Jewish people have suffered persecution for 1,600 years, and +they have suffered it cheerfully." If this doctrine is true, then +Judaism must be true and Christianity must be false. But martyrdom +doesn't prove the truth if the martyr knows it. It simply proves the +barbarity of his persecutors, and has no sincerity. That is all it +proves. + +But you must remember that this gentleman who believes in this doctrine +is a Presbyterian, and why should a Presbyterian object? After a few +hundred years of burning he expects to enjoy the eternal auto da fe of +hell--an auto da fe that will be presided over by God and His angels, +and they will be expected to applaud. He is a Presbyterian; and what +is that? It is the worst religion of this earth. I admit that +thousands and millions of Presbyterians are good people, no man ever +being half so bad as his creed. I am not attacking them. I am +attacking their creed. I am attacking what this religion calls "Tidings +of great joy." And, according to that, hundreds of billions and +billions of years ago our fate was irrevocably and forever fixed, and +God in the secret counsels of His own inscrutable will, made up His mind +whom He would save and whom He would damn. When thinking of that God I +always think of the mistake of a Methodist preacher during the war. He +commenced the prayer--and never did one more appropriate for the +Presbyterian God or the Methodist go up--"O, Thou great and unscrupulous +God." This Presbyterian believes that billions of years before that baby +in the cradle--that little dimpled child, basking in the light of a +mother's smile--was born, God had made up His mind to damn it; and when +Talmage looks at one of those children who will probably be damned he is +cheerful about it; he enjoys it. That is Presbyterianism--that God +made man and damned him for His own glory. If there is such a God, I +hate Him with every drop of my blood; and if there is a heaven it must +be where He is not. Now think of that doctrine! Only a little while +ago there was a ship from Liverpool out eighty days with its rudder +washed away; for ten days nothing to eat--nothing but the bare decks +and hunger; and the captain took a revolver in his hand and put it to +his brain and said: "Some of us must die for the others. And it might +as well be I." One of his companions grasped the pistol and said: +"Captain, wait; wait one day more. We can live another day." And the +next morning the horizon was rich with a sail, and they were saved. And +yet if Presbyterianism is true; if that man had put the bullet through +his infinitely generous brain so that his comrades could have eaten of +his flesh and reached their homes and felt about their necks the dimpled +arms of children and the kisses of wives upon their lips--if +Presbyterianism be true, God had a constable ready there to clutch that +soul and thrust it down to eternal hell. Tidings of great joy. And yet +this is religion. Why, if that doctrine be true, every soldier in the +Revolutionary War who died not a Christian has been damned; every one +in the War of 1812, who kept our flag upon the sea, if he died not a +Christian has been damned; and every one in the Civil War who fought to +keep our flag in heaven, not a Christian, and the ones who died in +Andersonville and Libby, not Christians, are now in the prison of God, +where the famine of Andersonville and Libby would be regarded as a joy. +Orthodox Christianity! Why, we have an account in the bible--it comes +from the other world--from both countries--from heaven and from hell-- +let us see what it is. Here is a rich man who dies. The only fault +about him was, he was rich; no other crime was charged against him. We +are told that the rich man died, and when he lifted up his eyes he found +no sympathy, yet even in hell he remembered his five brethren, and +prayed that some one should be sent to them so that they should not come +there. I tell you I had rather be in hell with human sympathy than in +heaven without it. + +The bible is not inspired, and ministers know nothing about another +world. They don't know. I am satisfied there is no world of eternal +pain. If there is a world of joy, so much the better. I have never put +out the faintest star of human hope that ever trembled in the night of +life. There was a time when I was not; after that I was; now I am. +And it is just as probable that I will live again as it was that I could +have lived before I did. Let it go. Ah! but what will life be? The +world will be here. Men and women will be here. The page of history +will be open. The walls of the world will be adorned with art, the +niches with sculpture; music will be here, and all there is of life and +joy. And there will be homes here, and the fireside, and there will be +a common hope without a common fear. Love will be here, and love is the +only bow on life's dark cloud. Love was the first to dream of +immortality. Love is the morning and evening star. It shines upon the +child; it sheds its radiance upon the peaceful tomb. Love is the +mother of beauty--the mother of melody, for music is its voice. Love is +the builder of every hope, the kindler of every fire on every hearth. +Love is the enchanter, the magician that changes worthless things to +joy, and makes right royal kings and queens out of common clay. Love is +the perfume of that wondrous flower the heart. Without that divine +passion, without that divine sway, we are less than beasts, and with it +earth is heaven and we are gods. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S ORATION AT A CHILD'S GRAVE. + + + +In a remote corner of the Congressional Cemetery at Washington, a small +group of people with uncovered heads were ranged around a newly-opened +grave. They included Detective and Mrs. George O. Miller and family and +friends, who had gathered to witness the burial of the former's bright +little son Harry. As the casket rested upon the trestles there was a +painful pause, broken only by the mother's sobs, until the undertaker +advanced toward a stout, florid-complexioned gentleman in the party and +whispered to him, the words being inaudible to the lookers-on. This +gentleman was Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, a friend of the Millers, who had +attended the funeral--at their request. He shook his head when the +undertaker first addressed him, and then said suddenly, "Does Mrs. +Miller desire it?" The undertaker gave an affirmative nod. Mr. Miller +looked appealingly toward the distinguished orator, and then Colonel +Ingersoll advanced to the side of the grave, made a motion denoting a +desire for silence, and, in a voice of exquisite cadence, delivered one +of his characteristic eulogies for the dead. + +The scene was intensely dramatic. A fine drizzling rain was falling, +and every head was bent, and every ear turned to catch the impassioned +words of eloquence and hope that fell from the lips of the famed orator. +Colonel Ingersoll was unprotected by either hat or umbrella. His +invocation thrilled his hearers with awe, each eye that had previously +been bedimmed with tears brightening, and sobs becoming hushed. The +colonel said: + + +My Friends: I know how vain it is to gild a grief with words, and yet I +wish to take from every grave its fear. Here in this world, where life +and death are equal kings, all should be brave enough to meet what all +have met. The future has been filled with fear, stained and polluted by +the heartless past. From the wondrous tree of life the buds and +blossoms fall with ripened fruit, and in the common bed of earth +patriarchs and babes sleep side by side. Why should we fear that which +will come to all that is? We cannot tell. We do not know which is the +greatest blessing, life or death. We cannot say that death is not good. +We do not know whether the grave is the end of this life or the door of +another, or whether the night here is not somewhere else a dawn. +Neither can we tell which is the more fortunate, the child dying in its +mother's arms before its lips have learned to form a word, or he who +journeys all the length of life's uneven road, painfully taking the last +slow steps with staff and crutch. Every cradle asks us "Whence?" and +every coffin "Whither?" The poor barbarian weeping above his dead can +answer the question as intelligently and satisfactorily as the robed +priest of the most authentic creed. The tearful ignorance of the one is +just as consoling as the learned and unmeaning words of the other. No +man standing where the horizon of a life has touched a grave has any +right to prophesy a future filled with pain and tears. It may be that +death gives all there is of worth to life. If those who press and +strain against our hearts could never die, perhaps that love would +wither from the earth. Maybe a common faith treads from out the paths +between our hearts the weeds of selfishness, and I should rather live +and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not. +Another life is naught, unless we know and love again the ones who love +us here. + +They who stand with breaking hearts around this little grave need have +no fear. The largest and the nobler faith in all that is, and is to be, +tells us that death, even at its worst, is only perfect rest. We know +that through the common wants of life, the needs and duties of each +hour, their grief will lessen day by day until at last these graves will +be to them a place of rest and peace--almost of joy. There is for them +this consolation: The dead do not suffer. If they live again their +lives will surely be as good as ours. We have no fear; we are all +children of the same mother and the same fate awaits us all. We, too, +have our religion, and it is this: "Help for the living, hope for the +dead." + + + + + +INGERSOLL AT HIS BROTHER'S GRAVE.--A Most Exquisite, Yet One Of The +Most Sad And Mournful Sermons + + +The funeral of Hon. Ebon C. Ingersoll, brother of Col. Robert G. +Ingersoll, of Illinois, took place at his residence in Washington, D.C., +June 2, 1879. The ceremonies were extremely simple, consisting merely +of viewing the remains by relatives and friends, and a funeral oration +by Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, brother of the deceased. A large number of +distinguished gentlemen were present, including Secretary Sherman, +Assistant Secretary Hawley, Senators Blaine, Vorhees, Paddock, Allison, +Logan, Hon. Thomas Henderson, Gov. Pound, Hon. Wm. M. Morrison, Gen. +Jeffreys, Gen. Williams, Col. James Fishback, and others. The pall- +bearers were Senators Blaine, Vorhees, David Davis, Paddock and Allison, +Col. Ward, H. Lamon, Hon. Jeremiah Wilson of Indiana, and Hon. Thomas A. +Boyd of Illinois. + +Soon after Mr. Ingersoll began to read his eloquent characterization of +the dead, his eyes filled with tears. He tried to hide them behind his +eye-glasses, but he could not do it, and finally he bowed his head upon +the dead man's coffin in uncontrollable grief. It was after some delay +and the greatest efforts of self-mastery, that Col. Ingersoll was able +to finish reading his address, which was as follows: + + +My Friends: I am going to do that which the dead often promised he +would do for me. The loved and loving brother, husband, father, friend, +died where manhood's morning almost touches noon, and while the shadows +still were falling toward the west. He had not passed on life's highway +the stone that marks the highest point, but being weary for a moment he +lay down by the wayside, and, using his burden for a pillow, fell into +that dreamless sleep that kisses down his eyelids still. While yet in +love with life and raptured with the world, he passed to silence and +pathetic dust. Yet, after all, it may be best, just in the happiest, +sunniest hour of all the voyage, while eager winds are kissing every +sail, to dash against the unseen rock, and in an instant hear the +billows roar over a sunken ship. For, whether in mid-sea or among the +breakers of the farther shore, a wreck must mark at last the end of each +and all. And every life, no matter if its every hour is rich with love, +and every moment jeweled with a joy, will, at its close, become a +tragedy, as sad, and deep, and dark as can be woven of the warp and woof +of mystery and death. This brave and tender man in every storm of life +was oak and rock, but in the sunshine he was vine and flower. He was +the friend of all heroic souls. He climbed the heights and left all +superstitions far below, while on his forehead fell the golden dawning +of a grander day. He loved the beautiful and was with color, form and +music touched to tears. He sided with the weak, and with a willing hand +gave alms; with loyal heart and with the purest hand he faithful +discharged all public trusts. He was a worshiper of liberty and a +friend of the oppressed. A thousand times I have heard him quote the +words: "For justice all place a temple and all season summer." He +believed that happiness was the only good, reason the only torch, +justice the only worshiper, humanity the only religion, and love the +priest. + +He added to the sum of human joy, and were every one for whom he did +some loving service to bring a blossom to his grave he would sleep +tonight beneath a wilderness of flowers. Life is a narrow vale between +the cold and barren peaks of two eternities. We strive in vain to look +beyond the heights. We cry aloud, and the only answer is the echo of +our wailing cry. From the voiceless lips of the unreplying dead there +comes no word; but in the night of death hope sees a star and listening +love can hear the rustle of a wing. He who sleeps here, when dying, +mistaking the approach of death for the return of health, whispered with +his latest breath, "I am better now." Let us believe, in spite of +doubts and dogmas and tears and fears that these dear words are true of +all the countless dead. And now, to you who have been chosen from among +the many men he loved to do the last sad office, for the dead, we give +his sacred dust. Speech can not contain our love. There was--there is +--no gentler, stronger, manlier man. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON THE MISTAKES OF MOSES. + + +Now and then some one asks me why I am endeavoring to interfere with the +religious faith of others, and why I try to take from the world the +consolation naturally arising from a belief in eternal fire. And I +answer, I want to do what little I can to make my country truly free. +I want to broaden the intellectual horizon of our people. I want it so +that we can differ upon all those questions, and yet grasp each other's +hands in genuine friendship. I want in the first place to free the +clergy. I am a great friend of theirs, but they don't seem to have +found it out generally. I want it so that every minister will be not a +parrot, not an owl sitting upon the limb of the tree of knowledge and +hooting the hoots that have been hooted for eighteen hundred years. But +I want it so that each one can be an investigator, a thinker; and I +want to make his congregation grand enough so that they will not only +allow him to think, but will demand that he shall think, and give to +them the honest truth of his thought. As it is now, ministers are +employed like attorneys--for the plaintiff or the defendant. If a few +people know of a young man in the neighborhood maybe who has not a good +constitution,--he may not be healthy enough to be wicked--a young man +who has shown no decided talent--it occurs to them to make him a +minister. They contribute and send him to some school. If it turns out +that that young man has more of the man in him than they thought, and he +changes his opinion, everyone who contributed will feel himself +individually swindled--and they will follow that young man to the grave +with the poisoned shafts of malice and slander. I want it so that every +one will be free--so that a pulpit will not be a pillory. They have in +Massachusetts, at a place called Andover, a kind of minister factory; +and every professor in that factory takes an oath once in every five +years--that is as long as an oath will last--that not only has he not +during the last five years, but so help him God, he will not during the +next five years intellectually advance; and probably there is no oath +he could easier keep. Since the foundation of that institution there +has not been one case of perjury. They believe the same creed they +first taught when the foundation stone was laid, and now when they send +out a minister they brand him as hardware from Sheffield and Birmingham. +And every man who knows where he was educated knows his creed, knows +every argument of his creed, every book that he reads, and just what he +amounts to intellectually, and knows he will shrink and shrivel, and +become solemnly stupid day after day until he meets with death. It is +all wrong; it is cruel. Those men should be allowed to grow. They +should have the air of liberty and the sunshine of thought. + +I want to free the schools of our country. I want it so that when a +professor in a college finds some fact inconsistent with Moses, he will +not hide the fact. I wish to see an eternal divorce and separation +between church and schools. The common school is the bread of life, but +there should be nothing taught except what somebody knows; and anything +else should not be maintained by a system of general taxation. I want +its professors so that they will tell everything they find; that they +will be free to investigate in every direction, and will not be +trammeled by the superstitions of our day. What has religion to do with +facts? Nothing. Is there any such thing as Methodist mathematics, +Presbyterian botany, Catholic astronomy or Baptist biology? What has +any form of superstition or religion to do with a fact or with any +science? Nothing but to hinder, delay or embarrass. I want, then, to +free the schools; and I want to free the politicians, so that a man +will not have to pretend he is a Methodist, or his wife a Baptist, or +his grandmother a Catholic; so that he can go through a campaign, and +when he gets through will find none of the dust of hypocrisy on his +knees. + +I want the people splendid enough that when they desire men to make laws +for them, they will take one who knows something, who has brains enough +to prophesy the destiny of the American Republic, no matter what his +opinions may be upon any religious subject. Suppose we are in a storm +out at sea, and the billows are washing over our ship, and it is +necessary that some one should reef the topsail, and a man presents +himself. Would you stop him at the foot of the mast to find out his +opinion on the five points of Calvinism? What has that to do with it? +Congress has nothing to do with baptism or any particular creed, and +from what little experience I have had in Washington, very little to do +with any kind of religion whatever. Now I hope, this afternoon, this +magnificent and splendid audience will forget that they are Baptists or +Methodists, and remember that they are men and women. These are the +highest titles humanity can bear--and every title you add, belittles +them. Man is the highest; woman is the highest. Let us remember that +our views depend largely upon the country in which we happen to live. +Suppose we were born in Turkey most of us would have been Mohammedans; +and when we read in the book that when Mohammed visited heaven he became +acquainted with an angel named Gabriel, who was so broad between his +eyes that it would take a smart camel three hundred days to make the +journey, we probably would have believed it. If we did not, people +would say: "That young man is dangerous; he is trying to tear down the +fabric of our religion. What do you propose to give us instead of that +angel? We cannot afford to trade off an angel of that size for nothing." +Or if we had been born in India, we would have believed in a god with +three heads. Now we believe in three gods with one head. And so we +might make a tour of the world and see that every superstition that +could be imagined by the brain of man has been in some place held to be +sacred. + +Now some one says, "The religion of my father and mother is good enough +for me." Suppose we all said that, where would be the progress of the +world? We would have the rudest and most barbaric religion--religion +which no one could believe. I do not believe that it is showing real +respect to our parents to believe something simply because they did. +Every good father and every good mother wish their children to find out +more than they knew every good father wants his son to overcome some +obstacle that he could not grapple with and if you wish to reflect +credit on your father and mother, do it by accomplishing more than they +did, because you live in a better time. Every nation has had what you +call a sacred record, and the older the more sacred, the more +contradictory and the more inspired is the record. We, of course, are +not an exception, and I propose to talk a little about what is called +the Pentateuch, a book, or a collection of books, said to have been +written by Moses. And right here in the commencement let me say that +Moses never wrote one word of the Pentateuch--not one word was written +until he had been dust and ashes for hundreds of years. But as the +general opinion is that Moses wrote these books, I have entitled this +lecture "The Mistakes of Moses." For the sake of this lecture, we will +admit that he wrote it. Nearly every maker of religion has commenced by +making the world; and it is one of the safest things to do, because no +one can contradict as having been present, and it gives free scope to +the imagination. These books, in times when there was a vast difference +between the educated and the ignorant, became inspired and people bowed +down and worshiped them. + +I saw a little while ago a Bible with immense oaken covers, with hasps +and clasps large enough almost for a penitentiary, and I can imagine how +that book would be regarded by barbarians in Europe when not more than +one person in a dozen could read and write. In imagination I saw it +carried into the cathedral, heard the chant of the priest, saw the +swinging of the censer and the smoke rising; and when that Bible was put +on the altar I can imagine the barbarians looking at it and wondering +what influence that book could have on their lives and future. I do not +wonder that they imagined it was inspired. None of them could write a +book, and consequently when they saw it they adored it; they were +stricken with awe; and rascals took advantage of that awe. + +Now they say that the book is inspired. I do not care whether it is or +not; the question is: Is it true? If it is true it doesn't need to be +inspired. Nothing needs inspiration except a falsehood or a mistake. A +fact never went into partnership with a miracle. Truth scorns the +assistance of wonders. A fact will fit every other fact in the +universe, and that is how you can tell--whether it is or not a fact. A +lie will not fit anything except a lie made for the express purpose; +and, finally, some one gets tired of lying, and the last lie will not +fit the next fact, and then there is a chance for inspiration. Right +then and there a miracle is needed. The real question is, in the light +of science, in the light of the brain and heart of the nineteenth +century, is this book true? The gentleman who wrote it begins by +telling us that God made the universe out of nothing. That I cannot +conceive; it may be so, but I cannot conceive it. Nothing in the light +of raw material, is, to my mind, a decided and disastrous failure. I +cannot imagine of nothing being made into something, any more than I can +of something being changed back into nothing. I cannot conceive of +force aside from matter, because force to be force must be active, and +unless there is matter there is nothing for force to act upon, and +consequently it cannot be active. So I simply say I cannot comprehend +it. I cannot believe it. I may roast for this, but it is my honest +opinion. The next thing he proceeds to tell us is that God divided the +darkness from the light, and right here let me say when I speak about +God I simply mean the being described by the Jews. There may be in +immensity a being beneath whose wing the universe exists, whose every +thought is a glittering star, but I know nothing about Him,--not the +slightest,--and this afternoon I am simply talking about the being +described by the Jewish people. When I say God, I mean Him. Moses +describes God dividing the light from the darkness. I suppose that at +that time they must have been mixed. You can readily see how light and +darkness can get mixed. They must have been entities. The reason I +think so is because in that same book I find that darkness overspread +Egypt so thick that it could be felt, and they used to have on +exhibition in Rome a bottle of the darkness that once overspread Egypt. +The gentleman who wrote this in imagination saw God dividing light from +the darkness. I am sure the man who wrote it, believed darkness to be +an entity, a something, a tangible thing that can be mixed with light. + +The next thing that he informs us is that God divided the waters above +the firmament from those below the firmament. The man who wrote that +believed the firmament to be a solid affair. And that is what the gods +did. You recollect the gods came down and made love to the daughters of +men--and I never blamed them for it. I have never read a description of +any heaven I would not leave on the same errand. That is where the gods +lived. There is where they kept the water. It was solid. That is the +reason the people prayed for rain. They believed that an angel could +take a lever, raise a window and let out the desired quantity. I find +in the Psalms that "He bowed the heavens and came down;" and we read +that the children of men built a tower to reach the heavens and climb +into the abode of the gods. The man who wrote that believed the +firmament to be solid. He knew nothing about the laws of evaporation. +He did not know that the sun wooed with amorous kiss the waves of the +sea, and that, disappointed, their vaporous sighs changed to tears and +fell again as rain. The next thing he tells us is that the grass began +to grow; and the branches of the trees laughed into blossom, and the +grass ran up the shoulder of the hills, and yet not a solitary ray of +light had left the eternal quiver of the sun. Not a blade of grass had +ever been touched by a gleam of light. And I do not think that grass +will grow to hurt without a gleam of sunshine. I think the man who +wrote that simply made a mistake, and is excusable to a certain degree. +The next day he made the sun and moon--the sun to rule the day and the +moon to rule the night. Do you think the man who wrote that knew +anything about the size of the sun? I think he thought it was about +three feet in diameter, because I find in some book that the sun was +stopped a whole day, to give a general named Joshua time to kill a few +more Amalekites; and the moon was stopped also. Now it seems to me +that the sun would give light enough without stopping the moon; but as +they were in the stopping business they did it just for devilment. At +another time, we read, the sun was turned ten degrees backward to +convince Hezekiah that he was not going to die of a boil. How much +easier it would have been to cure the boil. The man who wrote that +thought the sun was two or three feet in diameter, and could be stopped +and pulled around like the sun and moon in a theatre. Do you know that +the sun throws out every second of time as much heat as could be +generated by burning eleven thousand millions tons of coal? I don't +believe he knew that, or that he knew the motion of the earth. I don't +believe he knew that it was turning on its axis at the rate of a +thousand miles an hour, because if he did, he would have understood the +immensity of heat that would have been generated by stopping the world. +It has been calculated by one of the best mathematicians and astronomers +that to stop the world would cause as much heat as it would take to burn +a lump of solid coal three times as big as the globe. And yet we find +in that book that the sun was not only stopped, but turned back ten +degrees, simply to convince a gentleman that he was not going to die of +a boil. They will say I will be damned if I do not believe that, and I +tell them I will if I do. + +Then he gives us the history of astronomy, and he gives it to us in five +words: "He made the stars also." He came very near forgetting the +stars. Do you believe that the man who wrote that knew that there are +stars as much larger than this earth as this earth is larger than the +apple which Adam and Eve are said to have eaten. Do you believe that he +knew that this world is but a speck in the shining, glittering universe +of existence? I would gather from that that he made the stars after he +got the world done. The telescope, in reading the infinite leaves of +the heavens, has ascertained that light travels at the rate of 192,000 +miles per second, and it would require millions of years to come from +some of the stars to this earth. Yet the beams of those stars mingle in +our atmosphere, so that if those distant orbs were fashioned when this +world began, we must have been whirling in space not six thousand, but +many millions of years. Do you believe the man who wrote that as a +history of astronomy really knew that this world was but a speck +compared with millions of sparkling orbs? I do not. He then proceeds +to tell us that God made fish and cattle, and that man and woman were +created male and female. The first account stops at the second verse of +the second chapter. You see, the Bible originally was not divided into +chapters; the first Bible that was ever divided into chapters in our +language was made in the year of grace 1550. The Bible was originally +written in the Hebrew language, and the Hebrew language at that time had +no vowels in writing. It was written with consonants, and without being +divided into chapters or into verses, and there was no system of +punctuation whatever. After you go home tonight write an English +sentence or two with only consonants close together, and you will find +that it will take twice as much inspiration to read it as it did to +write it. When the Bible was divided into verses and chapters, the +divisions were not always correct, and so the division between the first +and second chapter of Genesis is not in the right place. The second +account of the creation commences at the third verse and it differs from +the first in two essential points. In the first account man is the last +made; in the second man is made before the beasts. In the first +account, man is made "male and female"; in the second only a male is +made, and there is no intention of making a woman whatever. + +You will find by reading that second chapter that God tried to palm off +on Adam a beast as his helpmeet. Everybody talks about the Bible and +nobody reads it; that is the reason it is so generally believed. I am +probably the only man in the United States who has read the Bible +through this year. I have wasted that time, but I had a purpose in +view. Just read it, and you will find, about the twenty-third verse, +that God caused all the animals to walk before Adam in order that he +might name them. And the animals came like a menagerie into town, and +as Adam looked at all the crawlers, jumpers and creepers, this God stood +by to see what he would call them. After this procession passed, it was +pathetically remarked, "Yet was there not found any helpmeet for Adam." +Adam didn't see anything that he could fancy. And I am glad he didn't. +If he had, there would not have been a free-thinker in this world; we +should have all died orthodox. And finding Adam was so particular, God +had to make him a helpmeet, and having used up the nothing, he was +compelled to take part of the man to make the woman with, and he took +from the man a rib. How did he get it? And then imagine a God with a +bone in his hand, and about to start a woman, trying to make up his mind +whether to make a blonde or a brunette. + +Right here it is only proper that I should warn you of the consequences +of laughing at any story in the Bible. When you come to die, your +laughing at this story will be a thorn in your pillow. As you look back +upon the record of your life, no matter how many men you have wrecked +and ruined, and no matter how many women you have deceived and deserted +--all that may be forgiven you but if you recollect that you have laughed +at God's book you will see through the shadows of death, the leering +looks of fiends and the forked tongues of devils. Let me show you how +it will be. For instance it is the day of judgment. When the man is +called up by the recording secretary, or whoever does the cross- +examining, he says to his soul "Where are you from?" "I am from the +world." "Yes sir. What kind of a man were you?" "Well, I don't like +to talk about myself." "But you have to. What kind of a man were you?" +"Well, I was a good fellow; I loved my wife, I loved my children. My +home was my heaven; my fire-side was my paradise, and to sit there and +see the lights and shadows falling on the faces of those I love, that to +me was a perpetual joy. I never gave one of them a solitary moment of +pain. I don't owe a dollar in the world and I left enough to pay my +funeral expenses and keep the wolf of want from the door of the house I +loved. That is the kind of a man I am." "Did you belong to any church?" +"I did not. They were too narrow for me. They were always expecting to +be happy simply because somebody else was to be damned." + +"Well, did you believe that rib story?" "What rib story--Do you mean +that Adam and Eve business? No, I did not. To tell you the God's +truth, that was a little more than I could swallow." "To hell with him. +Next. Where are you from?" "I'm from the world, too. Do you belong to +any church?" "Yes, sir, and to the Young Men's Christian Association." +"What is your business?" "Cashier in a bank." "Did you ever run off +with any money? I don't like to tell, Sir." "Well, you have to." +"Yes, Sir I did." "What kind of a bank did you have?" "A savings bank." +"How much did you run off with?" "One hundred thousand dollars." "Did +you take anything else along with you?" "Yes Sir." "What?" "I took my +neighbor's wife." "Did you have a wife and children of your own?" +"Yes, Sir." "And you deserted them?" "Oh, yes; but such was my +confidence in God that I believed he would take care of them." "Have +you heard of them since?" "No, Sir. Did you believe that rib story?" +"Ah, bless your soul, yes! I believe all of it, Sir; I often used to +be sorry that there were not harder stories yet in the Bible, so that I +could show what my faith could do." "You believed it, did you?" "Yes, +with all my heart." "Give him a harp." + +I simply wanted to show you how important it is to believe these +stories. Of all the authors in the world God hates a critic the worst. +Having got this woman done he brought her to the man, and they started +house-keeping, and a few minutes afterward a snake came through a crack +in the fence and commenced to talk with her on the subject of fruit. +She was not acquainted in the neighborhood, and she did not know whether +snakes talked or not, or whether they knew anything about the apples or +not. Well, she was misled, and the husband ate some of those apples and +laid it all on his wife; and there is where the mistake was made. God +ought to have rubbed him out at once. He might have known that no good +could come of starting the world with a man like that. They were turned +out. Then the trouble commenced, and people got worse and worse. God, +you must recollect, was holding the reins of government, but He did +nothing for them. He allowed them to live six hundred and sixty-nine +years without knowing their A. B. C. He never started a school, not +even a Sunday school. He didn't even keep His own boys at home. And +the world got worse every day, and finally he concluded to drown them. +Yet that same God has the impudence to tell me how to raise my own +children. What would you think of a neighbor, who had just killed his +babes giving you his views on domestic economy? God found that he could +do nothing with them and He said: "I will drown them all except a few." +And he picked out a fellow by the name of Noah, that had been a bachelor +for five hundred years. If I had to drown anybody, I would have drowned +him. I believe that Noah had then been married something like one +hundred years. God told him to build a boat, and he built one five +hundred feet long, eighty or ninety feet broad and fifty-five feet high, +with one door shutting on the outside, and one window twenty-two inches +square. If Noah had any hobby in the world it was ventilation. Then +into this ark he put a certain number of all the animals in the world. +Naturalists have ascertained that at that time there were at least +eleven hundred thousand insects necessary to go into the ark, about +forty thousand mammalia, sixteen hundred reptiles, to say nothing of the +mastodon, the elephant and the animalcule, of which thousands live upon +a single leaf and which cannot be seen by the naked eye. Noah had no +microscope, and yet he had pick them out by pairs. You have no idea the +trouble that man had. Some say that the flood was not universal, that +it was partial. Why then did God say "I will destroy every living thing +beneath the heavens." If it was partial why did Noah save the birds? An +ordinary bird, tending strictly to business, can beat a partial flood. +Why did he put the birds in there--the eagles, the vultures, the +condors--if it was only a partial flood? And how did he get them in +there? Were they inspired to go there, or did he drive them up? Did the +polar bear leave his home of ice and start for the tropic inquiring for +Noah; or could the kangaroo come from Australia unless he was inspired, +or somebody was behind him? Then there are animals on this hemisphere +not on that. How did he get them across? And there are some animals +which would be very unpleasant in an ark unless the ventilation was very +perfect. + +When he got the animals in the ark, God shut the door and Noah pulled +down the window. And then it began to rain, and it kept on raining +until the water went twenty nine feet over the highest mountain. +Chimborazo, then as now, lifted its head above the clouds, and then as +now, there sat the condor. And yet the waters rose and rose over every +mountain in the world--twenty-nine feet above the highest peaks, covered +with snow and ice. How deep were these waters? About five and a half +miles. How long did it rain? Forty days. How much did it have to rain +a day? About eight hundred feet. How is that for dampness? No wonder +they said the windows of the heavens were open. If I had been there I +would have said the whole side of the house was out. How long were they +in this ark? A year and ten days, floating around with no rudder, no +sail, nobody on the outside at all. The window was shut, and there was +no door, except the one that shut on the outside. Who ran this ark--who +took care of it? Finally it came down on Mount Ararat, a peak seventeen +thousand feet above the level of the sea, with about three thousand feet +of snow, and it stopped there simply to give the animals from the +tropics a chance. Then Noah opened the window and got a breath of fresh +air, and let out all the animals; and then Noah took a drink, and God +made a bargain with him that He would not drown us any more, and He put +a rainbow in the clouds and said: "When I see that I will recollect +that I have promised not to drown you." Because if it was not for that +He is apt to drown us at any moment. Now can anybody believe that that +is the origin of the rainbow? Are you not all familiar with the natural +causes which bring those beautiful arches before our eyes? Then the +people started out again, and they were as bad as before. Here let me +ask why God did not make Noah in the first place? He knew He would have +to drown Adam and Eve and all his family. Then another thing, why did +He want to drown the animals? What had they done? What crime had they +committed? It is very hard to answer these questions--that is, for a +man who has only been born once. After a while they tried to build a +tower to get into heaven, and the gods heard about it and said "Let's go +down and see what man is up to." They came, and found things a great +deal worse than they thought, and thereupon He confounded the language +to prevent them succeeding, so that the fellow up above could not shout +down "mortar" or "brick" to the one below, and they had to give it up. +Is it possible that any one believes that that is the reason why we have +the variety of languages in the world? Do you know that language is +born of human experience, and is a physical science? Do you know that +every word has been suggested in some way by the feelings or +observations of man--that there are words as tender as the dawn, as +serene as the stars, and others as wild as the beasts? Do you know that +language is dying and being born continually--that every language has +its cemetery and its cradle, its bud and blossom, and withered leaf? +Man has loved, enjoyed and suffered, and language is simply the +expression he gives those experiences. + +Then the world began to divide, and the Jewish nation was started. Now I +want to say that at one time your ancestors, like mine, were barbarians. +If the Jewish people had to write these books now they would be +civilized books, and I do not hold them responsible for what their +ancestors did. We find the Jewish people first in Canaan, and there +were seventy of them, counting Joseph and his children already in Egypt. +They lived two hundred and fifteen years, and they then went down into +Egypt and stayed there two hundred and fifteen years they were four +hundred and thirty years in Canaan and Egypt. How many did they have +when they went to Egypt? Seventy. How many were they at the end of two +hundred and fifteen years? Three millions. That is a good many. We had +at the time of the Revolution in this country three millions of people. +Since that time there have been four doubles, until we have forty-eight +millions today. How many would the Jews number at the same ratio in two +hundred and fifteen years? Call it eight doubles and we have forty +thousand. But instead of forty thousand they had three millions. How +do I know they had three millions? Because they had six hundred +thousand men of war. For every honest voter in the State of Illinois +there will be five other people, and there are always more voters than +men of war. They must have had at the lowest possible estimate three +millions of people. Is that true? Is there a minister in the city of +Chicago that will testify to his own idiocy by claiming that they could +have increased to three millions by that time? If there is, let him say +so. Do not let him talk about the civilizing influence of a lie. + +When they got into the desert they took a census to see how man first- +born children there were. They found they had twenty-thousand two +hundred and seventy-three first-born males. It is reasonable to suppose +there was about the same number of first-born girls, or forty-five +thousand first-born children. There must have been about as many +mothers as first-born children. Dividing three millions by forty-five +thousand mothers, and you will find that the women in Israel had to have +on the average sixty-eight children apiece. Some stories are too thin. +This is too thick. Now, we know that among three million people there +will be about three hundred births a day; and according to the Old +Testament, whenever a child was born the mother had to make a sacrifice +--a sin-offering for the crime of having been a mother. If there is in +this universe anything that is infinitely pure, it is a mother with her +child in her arms. Every woman had to have a sacrifice of a couple of +pigeons, and the priests had to eat those pigeons in the most holy +place. At that time there were at least three hundred births a day, and +the priests had to cook and eat these pigeons in the most holy place; +and at that time there were only three priests. Two hundred birds +apiece per day! I look upon them as the champion bird-eaters of the +world. + +Then where were these Jews? They were upon the desert of Sinai; and +Sahara compared to that is a garden. Imagine an ocean of lava, torn by +storm and vexed by tempest, suddenly gazed at by a Gorgon and changed to +stone. Such was the desert of Sinai. The whole supplies of the world +could not maintain three millions of people on the desert of Sinai for +forty years. It would cost one hundred thousand millions of dollars, +and would bankrupt Christendom. And yet there they were with flocks and +herds--so many that they sacrificed over one hundred and fifty thousand +first-born lambs at one time. + +It would require millions of acres to support these flocks, and yet +there was no blade of grass, and there is no account of it raining baled +hay. They sacrificed one hundred and fifty thousand lambs, and the +blood had all to be sprinkled on the altar within two hours, and there, +were only three priests. They would have to sprinkle the blood of +twelve hundred and fifty lambs per minute. Then all the people gathered +in front of the tabernacle eighteen feet deep. Three millions of people +would make a column six miles long. Some reverend gentlemen say they +were ninety feet deep. Well, that would make a column of over a mile. + +Where were these people going? They were going to the Holy Land. How +large was it? Twelve thousand square miles--one-fifth the size of +Illinois--a frightful country, covered with rocks and desolation. There +never was a land agent in the city of Chicago that would not have +blushed with shame to have described that land as flowing with milk and +honey. Do you believe that God Almighty ever went into partnership with +hornets? Is it necessary unto salvation? God said to the Jews "I will +send hornets before you, to drive out the Canaanites." How would a +hornet know a Canaanite? Is it possible that God inspired the hornets-- +that he granted letters of marque and reprisal to hornets? I am willing +to admit that nothing in the world would be better calculated to make a +man leave his native country than a few hornets attending strictly to +business. God said "Kill the Canaanites slowly." Why? "Lest the +beasts of the field increase upon you." How many Jews were there? +Three millions. Going to a country, how large? Twelve thousand square +miles. But were there nations already in this Holy Land? Yes, there +were seven nations "mightier than the Jews." Say there would be twenty- +one millions when they got there, or twenty-four millions with +themselves. Yet they were told to kill them slowly, lest the beasts of +the field increase upon them. Is there a man in Chicago that believes +that! Then what does he teach it to little children for? Let him tell +the truth. + +So the same God went into partnership with snakes. The children of +Israel lived on manna--one account says all the time, and another only a +little while. That is the reason there is a chance for commentaries, +and you can exercise faith. If the book was reasonable everybody could +get to heaven in a moment. But whenever it looks as if it could not be +that way and you believe, you are almost a saint, and when you know it +is not that way and believe, you are a saint. He fed them on manna. Now +manna is very peculiar stuff. It would melt in the sun, and yet they +used to cook it by seething and baking. I would as soon think of frying +snow and boiling icicles. But this manna had other peculiar qualities. +It shrank to an omer, no matter how much they gathered, and swelled up +to an omer, no matter how little they gathered. What a magnificent +thing manna would be for the currency, shrinking and swelling according +to the volume of business! There was not a change in the bill of fare +for forty years, and they knew that God could just as well give them +three square meals a day. They remembered about the cucumbers, and the +melons, and the leeks and the onions of Egypt, and they said: "Our +souls abhorreth this light bread." Then this God got mad--you know +cooks are always touchy--and thereupon He sent snakes to bite the men, +women and children. He also sent them quails in wrath and anger, and +while they had the flesh between their teeth, he struck thousands of +them dead. He always acted in that way, all of a sudden. People had no +chance to explain--no chance to move for a new trial--nothing. I want to +know if it is reasonable He should kill people for asking for one change +of diet in forty years. Suppose you had been boarding with an old lady +for forty years, and she never had a solitary thing on her table but +hash, and one morning you said: "My soul abhorreth hash!" What would +you say if she let a basketful of rattlesnakes upon you? Now is it +possible for people to believe this? The Bible says their clothes did +not wax old, they did not get shiny at the knees or elbows; and their +shoes did not wear out. They grew right along with them. The little +boy starting out with his first pants grew up and his pants grew with +him. Some commentators have insisted that angels attended to their +wardrobes. I never could believe it. Just think of one angel hunting +another and saying: "There goes another button." I cannot believe it. + +There must be a mistake somewhere or somehow. Do you believe the real +God--if there is one--ever killed a man for making hair-oil? And yet you +find in the Pentateuch that God gave Moses a recipe for making hair-oil +to grease Aaron's beard; and said if anybody made the same hair-oil he +should be killed. And He gave him a formula for making ointment, and He +said if anybody made ointment like that he should be killed. I think +that is carrying patent-laws to excess. There must be some mistake about +it. I cannot imagine the infinite Creator of all the shining worlds +giving a recipe for hair-oil. Do you believe that the real God came +down to Mount Sinai with a lot of patterns for making a tabernacle- +patterns for tongs, for snuffers, and such things? Do you believe that +God came down on that mountain and told Moses how to cut a coat, and how +it should be trimmed? What would an infinite God care on which side he +cut the breast, what color the fringe was, or how the buttons were +placed? Do you believe God told Moses to make curtains of fine linen? +Where did they get their flax in the desert? How did they weave it? +Did He tell him to make things of gold, silver and precious stones, when +they hadn't them? Is it possible that God told them not to eat any +fruit until after the fourth year of planting the trees? You see all +these things were written hundreds of years afterwards, and the priests, +in order to collect the tithes, dated the laws back. They did not say, +"This is our law," but, "Thus said God to Moses in the wilderness." +Now, can you believe that? Imagine a scene: The eternal God tells +Moses "Here is the way I want you to consecrate my priests. Catch a +sheep and cut his throat." I never could understand why God wanted a +sheep killed just because a man had done a mean trick; perhaps it was +because his priests were fond of mutton. He tells Moses further to take +some of the blood and put it on his right thumb, a little on his right +ear, and a little on his right big toe? Do you believe God ever gave +such instructions for the consecration of His priests? If you should +see the South Sea Islanders going through such a performance you could +not keep your face straight. And will you tell me that it had to be +done in order to consecrate a man to the service of the infinite God? +Supposing the blood got on the left toe? + +Then we find in this book how God went to work to make the Egyptians let +the Israelites go. Suppose we wish to make a treaty with the mikado of +Japan, and Mr. Hayes sent a commissioner there; and suppose he should +employ Hermann, the wonderful German, to go along with him; and when +they came in the presence of the mikado Herman threw down an umbrella, +which changed into a turtle, and the commissioner said: "This is my +certificate." You would say the country is disgraced. You would say the +president of a republic like this disgraces himself with jugglery. Yet +we are told God sent Moses and Aaron before Pharaoh, and when they got +there Moses threw down a stick which turned into a snake. That God is a +juggler--he is the infinite prestidigitator. Is that possible? Was +that really a snake, or was it the appearance of a snake? If it was the +appearance of a snake, it was a fraud. Then the necromancers of Egypt +were sent for, and they threw down sticks, which turned into snakes, but +those were not so large as Moses' snakes, which swallowed them. I +maintain that it is just as hard to make small snakes as it is to make +large ones; the only difference is that to make large snakes either +larger sticks or more practice is required. + +Do you believe that God rained hail on innocent cattle, killing them in +the highways and in the field? Why should he inflict punishment on +cattle for something their owners had done? I could never have any +respect for a God that would so inflict pain upon a brute beast simply +on account of the crime of its owner. Is it possible that God worked +miracles to convince Pharaoh that slavery was wrong? Why did he not +tell Pharaoh that any nation founded on slavery could not stand? Why +did he not tell him, "Your government is founded on slavery, and it will +go down, and the sands of the desert will hide from the view of man your +temples, your altars, and your fanes?" Why did he not speak about the +infamy of slavery? Because he believed in the infamy of slavery +himself. Can we believe that God will allow a man to give his wife the +right of divorcement and make the mother of his children a wanderer and +a vagrant. There is not one word about woman in the Old Testament +except the word of shame and humiliation. The God of the Bible does not +think woman is as good as man. She never was worth mentioning. It did +not take the pains to recount the death of the mother of us all. I have +no respect for any book that does not treat woman as the equal of man. +And if there is any God in this universe who thinks more of me than he +thinks of my wife, he is not well acquainted with both of us. And yet +they say that that was done on account of the hardness of their hearts; +and that was done in a community where the law was so fierce that it +stoned a man to death for picking up sticks on Sunday. Would it not +have been better to stone to death every man who abused his wife and +allowed them to pick up sticks on account of the hardness of their +hearts? If God wanted to take those Jews from Egypt to the land of +Canaan, why didn't He do it instantly? If He was going to do a miracle +why didn't He do one worth talking about? + +After God had killed all the first-born in Egypt, after He had killed +all the cattle, still Egypt could raise an army that could put to flight +six hundred thousand men. And because this God overwhelmed the Egyptian +army, he bragged about it for a thousand years, repeatedly calling the +attention of the Jews to the fact that he overthrew Pharaoh and his +hosts. Did he help much with their six-hundred thousand men? We find +by the records of the day that the Egyptian standing army at that time +was never more than one hundred thousand men. Must we believe all these +stories in order to get to Heaven when we die? Must we judge of a man's +character by the number of stories he believes? Are we to get to Heaven +by creed or by deed? That is the question. Shall we reason, or shall +we simply believe? Ah, but they say the Bible is not inspired about +those little things. The Bible says the rabbit and the hare chew the +cud. But they do not. They have a tremulous motion of the lip. But +the Being that made them says they chew the cud. The Bible, therefore, +is not inspired in natural history. Is it inspired in its astrology? +No. Well, what is it inspired in? In its law? Thousands of people say +that if it had not been for the ten commandments we would not have known +any better than to rob and steal. Suppose a man planted an acre of +potatoes, hoed them all summer, and dug them in the fall; and suppose a +man had sat upon the fence all the time and watched him? Do you believe +it would be necessary for that man to read the ten commandments to find +out who, in his judgment had a right to take those potatoes? All laws +against larceny have been made by industry to protect the fruits of its +labor. Why is there a law against murder? Simply because a large +majority of people object to being murdered. That is all. And all +these laws were in force thousands of years before that time. + +One of the commandments said they should not make any graven images, and +that was the death of art in Palestine. No sculptor has ever enriched +stone with the divine forms of beauty in that country; and any +commandment that is the death of art is not a good commandment. But they +say the Bible is morally inspired; and they tell me there is no +civilization without this Bible. Then God knows that just as well as +you do. God always knew it, and if you can't civilize a nation without +a Bible, why didn't God give every nation just one Bible to start with? +Why did God allow hundreds of thousands and billions of billions to go +down to hell just for the lack of a Bible? They say that it is morally +inspired. Well, let us examine it. I want to be fair about this thing, +because I am willing to stake my salvation or damnation upon this +question--whether the Bible is true or not. I say it is not and upon +that I am willing to wager my soul. Is there a woman here who believes +in the institution of polygamy? Is there a man here who believes in that +infamy? You say: "No, we do not." Then you are better than your God +was four thousand years ago. Four thousand years ago he believed in it, +taught it and upheld it. I pronounce it and denounce it the infamy of +infamies. It robs our language of every sweet and tender word in it. +It takes the fire-side away forever. It takes the meaning out of the +words father, mother, sister, brother, and turns the temple of love into +a vile den where crawl the slimy snakes of lust and hatred. I was in +Utah a little while ago, and was on the mountain where God used to talk +to Brigham Young. He never said anything to me. I said that it was +just as reasonable that God in the nineteenth century should talk to a +polygamist in Utah as it was that four thousand years ago, on Mount +Sinai, he talked to Moses upon that hellish and damnable question. + +I have no love for any God who believes in polygamy. There is no heaven +on this earth save where the one woman loves the one man and the one man +loves the one woman. I guess it is not inspired on the polygamy +question. May be it is inspired about religious liberty. God says if +anybody differs with you about religion, "kill him." He told His +peculiar people, "If any one teaches a different religion, kill him!" +He did not say, "Try and convince him that he is wrong," but "kill him." +He did not say, "I am in the miracle business, and I will convince him," +but "kill him." He said to every husband, "If your wife, that you love +as you love your own soul, says, 'let us go and worship other gods,' +then 'Thy hand shall be first upon her and she shall be stoned with +stones until she dies.'" Well, now, I hate a God of that kind, and I +cannot think of being nearer heaven than to be away from Him. A God +tells a man to kill his wife simply because she differs with him on +religion! If the real God were to tell me to kill my wife, I would not +do it. If you had lived in Palestine at that time, and your wife--the +mother of your children--had woke up at night and said "I am tired of +Jehovah. He is always turning up that board-bill. He is always telling +about whipping the Egyptians. He is always killing somebody. I am +tired of Him. Let us worship the sun. The sun has clothed the world in +beauty; it has covered the earth with green and flowers; by its divine +light I first saw your face; its light has enabled me to look into the +eyes of my beautiful babe. Let us worship the sun, father and mother of +light and love and joy." Then what would it be your duty to do--kill +her? Do you believe a real God ever did that? Your hand should be +first upon her, and when you took up some ragged rock and hurled it +against the white bosom filled with love for you, and saw running away +the red current of her sweet life, then you would look up to heaven and +receive the congratulations of the infinite fiend whose commandments you +had to obey. I guess the Bible was not inspired about religious +liberty. Let me ask you right here: Suppose, as a matter of fact, God +gave those laws to the Jews and told them "whenever a man preaches a +different religion, kill him," and suppose that afterwards the same God +took upon Himself flesh, and came to the world and taught and preached a +different religion, and the Jews crucified Him--did He not reap exactly +what He sowed? + +May be this book is inspired about war. God told the Israelites to +overrun that country, and kill every man, woman and child for defending +their native land. Kill the old men? Yes. Kill the women? Certainly. +And the little dimpled babes in the cradle, that smile and coo in the +face of murder--dash out their brains; that is the will of God. Will +you tell me that any God ever commanded such infamy? Kill the men and +the women, and the young men and the babes! "What shall we do with the +maidens?" "Give them to the rabble murderers!" Do you believe that God +ever allowed the roses of love and the violets of modesty that shed +their perfume in the heart of a maiden to be trampled beneath the brutal +feet of lust? If there is any God, I pray Him to write in the book of +eternal remembrance opposite to my name, that I denied that lie. + +Whenever a woman reads a Bible and comes to that passage, she ought to +throw the book from her in contempt and scorn. Do you tell me that any +decent god would do that? What would the devil have done under the same +circumstances? Just think of it, and yet that is the God that we want +to get into the Constitution. That is the God we teach our children +about so that they will be sweet and tender, amiable and kind! That +monster--that fiend--I guess the Bible is not inspired about religious +liberty, nor about war. + +Then, if it is not inspired about these things, may be it is inspired +about slavery. God tells the Jews to buy up the children of the heathen +round about and they should be servants for them. What is a "servant?" +If they struck a "servant" and he died immediately, punishment was to +follow; but if the injured man should linger a while, there was no +punishment, because the servant represented their money! Do you believe +that it is right--that God made one man to work for another and to +receive pay in rations? Do you believe God said that a whip on the +naked back was the legal tender for labor performed? Is it possible that +the real God ever gave such infamous, blood-thirsty laws? What more +does He say? When the time of a married slave expired, he could not +take his wife and children with him. Then if the slave did not wish to +desert his family, he had his ears pierced with an awl, and became his +master's property forever. Do you believe that God ever turned the +dimpled cheeks of little children into iron chains to hold a man in +slavery? Do you know that a God like that would not make a respectable +devil? I want none of his mercy. I want no part and no lot in the +heaven of such a God. I will go to perdition, where there is human +sympathy. The only voice we have ever had from either of those other +worlds came from hell. There was a rich man who prayed his brothers to +attend to Lazarus so that they might "not come to this place." That is +the only instance, so far as we know, of souls across the river having +any sympathy. And I would rather be in hell, asking for water, than in +heaven denying that petition. Well, what is this book inspired about? +Where does the inspiration come from? Why was it that so many animals +were killed? It was simply to make atonement for man--that is all. +They killed something that had not committed a crime, in order that the +one who had committed the crime might be acquitted. Based upon that +idea is the atonement of the Christian religion. That is the reason I +attack this book--because it is the basis of another infamy, viz: that +one man can be good for another, or that one man can sin for another. I +deny it. You have got to be good for yourself; you have got to sin for +yourself. The trouble about the atonement is, that it saves the wrong +man. For instance, I kill some one. He is a good man. He loves his +wife and children and tries to make them happy; but he is not a +Christian, and he goes to hell. Just as soon as I am convicted and +cannot get a pardon I get religion, and I go to heaven. The hand of +mercy cannot reach down through the shadows of hell to my victim. + +There is no atonement for the saint--only for the sinner and the +criminal. The atonement saves the wrong man. I have said that I would +never make a lecture at all without attacking this doctrine. I did not +care what I started out on. I was always going to attack this doctrine. +And in my conclusion I want to draw you a few pictures of the Christian +heaven. But before I do that I want to say the rest I have to say about +Moses. I want you to understand that the Bible was never printed until +1488. I want you to know that up to that time it was in manuscript, in +possession of those who could change it if they wished; and they did +change it, because no two ever agreed. Much of it was in the waste +basket of credulity, in the open mouth of tradition, and in the dull ear +of memory. I want you also to know that the Jews themselves never +agreed as to what books were inspired, and that there were a lot of +books written that were not incorporated in the Old Testament. I want +you to know that two or three years before Christ, the Hebrew manuscript +was translated into Greek, and that the original from which the +translation was made, has never been seen since. Some Latin Bibles were +found in Africa but no two agreed; and then they translated the +Septuagint into the languages of Europe, and no two agreed. Henry VIII. +took a little time between murdering his wives to see that the Word of +God was translated correctly. You must recollect that we are indebted +to murderers for our Bibles and our creeds. Constantine, who helped on +the good work in its early stage, murdered his wife and child, mingling +their blood with the blood of the Savior. + +The Bible that Henry VIII. got up did not suit, and then his daughter, +the murderess of Mary, Queen of Scots, got up another edition, which +also did not suit; and finally, that philosophical idiot, King James, +prepared the edition which we now have. There are at least one hundred +thousand errors in the Old Testament, but everybody sees that it is not +enough to invalidate its claim to infallibility. But these errors are +gradually being fixed, and hereafter the prophet will be fed by Arabs +instead of "ravens," and Samson's three hundred foxes will be three +hundred "sheaves" already bound, which were fired and thrown into the +standing wheat. I want you all to know that there was no +contemporaneous literature at the time the Bible was composed, and that +the Jews were infinitely ignorant in their day and generation--that they +were isolated by bigotry and wickedness from the rest of the world. I +want you to know that there are fourteen hundred millions of people in +the world; and that with all the talk and work of the societies, only +one hundred and twenty millions have got Bibles. I want you to +understand that not one person in one hundred in this world ever read +the Bible, and no two ever understood it alike who did read it, and that +no one person probably ever understood it aright. I want you to +understand that where this Bible has been, man has hated his brother-- +there have been dungeons, racks, thumbscrews, and the sword. I want you +to know that the cross has been in partnership with the sword, and that +the religion of Jesus Christ was established by murderers, tyrants and +hypocrites. I want you to know that the church carried the black flag. +Then talk about the civilizing influence of this religion! + +Now, I want to give an idea or two in regard to the Christian's heaven. +Of all the selfish things in this world, it is one man wanting to get to +heaven, caring nothing what becomes of the rest of mankind. "If I can +only get my little soul in." I have always noticed that the people who +have the smallest souls make the most fuss about getting them saved. +Here is what we are taught by the church today. We are taught by it +that fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters can all be happy in +heaven, no matter who may be in hell; that the husband can be happy +there with the wife that would have died for him at any moment of his +life, in hell. But they say, "We don't believe in fire. What we believe +in now is remorse." What will you have remorse for? For the mean things +you have done when you are in hell? Will you have any remorse for the +mean things you have done when you are in heaven? Or will you be so good +then that you won't care how you used to be? Don't you see what an +infinitely mean belief that is? I tell you today that, no matter in +what heaven you may be, no matter in what star you are spending the +summer, if you meet another man whom you have wronged you will drop a +little behind in the tune. And, no matter in what part of hell you are, +and you meet some one whom you have succored, whose nakedness you have +clothed, and whose famine you have fed, the fire will cool up a little. +According to this Christian doctrine, when you are in heaven you won't +care how mean you were once. What must be the social condition of a +gentleman in heaven who will admit that he never would have been there +if he had not got scared? What must be the social position of an angel +who will always admit that if another had not pitied him he ought to +have been damned? Is it a compliment to an infinite God to say that +every being He ever made deserved to be damned the minute He got him +done, and that He will damn everybody He has not had a chance to make +over. Is it possible that somebody else can be good for me, and that +this doctrine of the atonement is the only anchor for the human soul? + +For instance: here is a man seventy years of age, who has been a +splendid fellow and lived according to the laws of nature. He has got +about him splendid children whom he has loved and cared for with all his +heart. But he did not happen to believe in this Bible; he did not +believe in the Pentateuch. He did not believe that because some +children made fun of a gentleman who was short of hair, God sent two +bears and tore the little darlings to pieces. He had a tender heart, +and he thought about the mothers who would take the pieces, the bloody +fragments of the children, and press them to their bosom in a frenzy of +grief; he thought about their wails and lamentations, and could not +believe that God was such an infinite monster. That was all he thought, +but he went to Hell. Then, there is another man who made a hell on +earth for his wife, who had to be taken to the insane asylum, and his +children were driven from home and were wanderers and vagrants in the +world. But just between the last sin and the last breath, this fellow +got religion, and he never did another thing except to take his +medicine. He never did a solitary human being a favor, and he died and +went to heaven. Don't you think he would be astonished to see that +other man in hell, and say to himself, "Is it possible that such a +splendid character should bear such fruit, and that all my rascality at +last has brought me next to God?" + +Or, let us put another case. You were once alone in the desert--no +provisions, no water, no hope, just when your life was at its lowest ebb +a man appeared, gave you water and food and brought you safely out. How +you would bless that man. Time rolls on. You die and go to heaven; +and one day you see through the black night of hell, the friend who +saved your life, begging for a drop of water to cool his parched lips. +He cries to you, "Remember what I did in the desert--give me to drink." +How mean, how contemptible you would feel to see his suffering and be +unable to relieve him. But this is the Christian heaven. We sit by the +fireside and see the flames and the sparks fly up the chimney--everybody +happy, and the cold wind and sleet are beating on the window, and out on +the doorstep is a mother with a child on her breast freezing. How happy +it makes a fireside, that beautiful contrast. And we say, "God is +good," and there we sit, and she sits and moans, not one night but +forever. Or we are sitting at the table with our wives and children, +everybody eating, happy and delighted; and Famine comes and pushes out +its shriveled palms, and, with hungry eyes, implores us for a crust. +How that would increase the appetite! And yet that is the Christian +heaven. Don't you see that these infamous doctrines petrify the human +heart? And I would have everyone who hears me, swear that he will never +contribute another dollar to build another church in which is taught +such infamous lies. I want everyone of you to say, that you never will, +directly or indirectly, give a dollar to any man to preach that +falsehood. It has done harm enough. It has covered the world with +blood. It has filled the asylums for the insane. It has cast a shadow +in the heart, in the sunlight of every good and tender man and woman. I +say let us rid the heavens of this monster, and write upon the dome +"Liberty, love and law." + +No matter what may come to me or what may come to you, let us do exactly +what we believe to be right, and let us give the exact thought in our +brains. Rather than have this Christianity true, I would rather all the +gods would destroy themselves this morning. I would rather the whole +universe would go to nothing, if such a thing were possible, this +instant. Rather than have the glittering dome of pleasure reared on the +eternal abyss of pain, I would see the utter and eternal destruction of +this universe. I would rather see the shining fabric of our universe +crumble to unmeaning chaos, and take itself where oblivion broods and +memory forgets. I would rather the blind Samson of some imprisoned +force, released by thoughtless chance, should so rack and strain this +world that man in stress and strain, in astonishment and fear, should +suddenly fall back to savagery and barbarity. I would rather that this +thrilled and thrilling globe, shorn of all life, should in its cycles +rub the wheel, the parent star, on which the light should fall as +fruitlessly as falls the gaze of love on death, than to have this +infamous doctrine of eternal punishment true; rather than have this +infamous selfishness of a heaven for a few and a hell for the many +established as the word of God. + +One world at a time is my doctrine. Let us make some one happy here. +Happiness is the interest that a decent action draws, and the more +decent actions you do, the larger your income will be. Let every man +try to make his wife happy, his children happy. Let every man try to +make every day a joy, and God cannot afford to damn such a man. I cannot +help God; I cannot injure God. I can help people; I can injure +people. Consequently humanity is the only real religion. + +I cannot better close this lecture than by quoting four lines from +Robert Burns" + + "To make a happy fireside clime + To weans and wife-- + That's the true pathos and sublime + Of human life." + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON SKULLS,--And His Replies To Prof. Swing, Dr. +Collyer, And Other Critics--Reprinted from "The Chicago Times." + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: Man advances just in the proportion that he +mingles his thoughts with his labor--just in the proportion that he +takes advantage of the forces of nature; just in proportion as he loses +superstition and gains confidence in himself. Man advances as he ceases +to fear the gods and learns to love his fellow-men. It is all, in my +judgment, a question of intellectual development. Tell me the religion +of any man and I will tell you the degree he marks on the intellectual +thermometer of the world. It is a simple question of brain. Those +among us who are the nearest barbarism have a barbarian religion. Those +who are nearest civilization have the least superstition. It is, I say, +a simple question of brain, and I want, in the first place, to lay the +foundation to prove that assertion. + +A little while ago I saw models of nearly everything that man has made. +I saw models of all the water craft, from the rude dug-out in which +floated a naked savage--one of our ancestors--a naked savage, with teeth +twice as long as his forehead was high, with a spoonful of brains in the +back of his orthodox head--I saw models of all the water craft of the +world, from that dug-out up to a man-of-war that carries a hundred guns +and miles of canvas; from that dug-out to the steamship that turns its +brave prow from the port of New York with a compass like a conscience, +crossing three thousand miles of billows without missing a throb or beat +of its mighty iron heart from shore to shore. And I saw at the same +time the paintings of the world, from the rude daub of yellow mud to the +landscapes that enrich palaces and adorn houses of what were once called +the common people. I saw also their sculpture, from the rude god with +four legs, a half dozen arms, several noses, and two or three rows of +ears, and one little, contemptible, brainless head, up to the figures of +today,--to the marbles that genius has clad in such a personality that +it seems almost impudent to touch them without an introduction. I saw +their books--books written upon the skins of wild beasts--upon shoulder- +blades of sheep--books written upon leaves, upon bark, up to the +splendid volumes that enrich the libraries of our day. When I speak of +libraries I think of the remark of Plato: "A house that has a library +in it has a soul." + +I saw at the same time the offensive weapons that man has made, from a +club, such as was grasped by that same savage when he crawled from his +den in the ground and hunted a snake for his dinner; from that club to +the boomerang, to the sword, to the cross-bow, to the blunderbuss, to +the flintlock, to the caplock, to the needle-gun, up to a cannon cast by +Krupp, capable of hurling a ball weighing two thousand pounds through +eighteen inches of solid steel. I saw too, the armor from the shell of +a turtle that one of our brave ancestors lashed upon his breast when he +went to fight for his country, the skin of a porcupine, dried with the +quills on, which this same savage pulled over his orthodox head, up to +the shirts of mail that were worn in the middle ages, that laughed at +the edge of the sword and defied the point of the spear; up to a +monitor clad in complete steel. And I say orthodox not only in the +matter of religion, but in everything. Whoever has quit growing, he is +orthodox, whether in art, politics, religion, philosophy--no matter +what. Whoever thinks he has found it all out he is orthodox. Orthodoxy +is that which rots, and heresy is that which grows forever. Orthodoxy +is the night of the past, full of the darkness of superstition, and +heresy is the eternal coming day, the light of which strikes the grand +foreheads of the intellectual pioneers of the world. I saw their +implements of agriculture, from the plow made of a crooked stick, +attached to the horn of an ox by some twisted straw, with which our +ancestors scraped the earth, and from that to the agricultural +implements of this generation, that make it possible for a man to +cultivate the soil without being an ignoramus. + +In the old time there was but one crop; and when the rain did not come +in answer to the prayer of hypocrites a famine came and people fell upon +their knees. At that time they were full of superstition. They were +frightened all the time for fear that some god would be enraged at his +poor, hapless, feeble and starving children. But now, instead of +depending upon one crop they have several, and if there is not rain +enough for one there may be enough for another. And if the frosts kill +all, we have railroads and steamship--enough to bring what we need from +some other part of the world. Since man has found out something about +agriculture, the gods have retired from the business of producing +famines. + +I saw at the same time their musical instruments, from the tomtom--that +is, a hoop with a couple of strings of rawhide drawn across it--from +that tom-tom, up to the instruments we have today, that make the common +air blossom with melody, and I said to myself there is a regular +advancement. I saw at the same time a row of human skulls, from the +lowest skull that has been found, the Neanderthal skull--skulls from +Central Africa, skulls from the bushmen of Australia--skulls from the +farthest isles of the Pacific Sea--up to the best skulls of the last +generation--and I noticed that there was the same difference between +those skulls that there was between the products of those skulls, and I +said to myself: "After all, it is a simple question of intellectual +development." There was the same difference between those skulls, the +lowest and highest skulls, that there was between the dug-out and the +man-of-war and the steamship, between the club and the Krupp gun, +between the yellow daub and the landscape, between the tom-tom and an +opera by Verdi. The first and lowest skull in this row was the den in +which crawled the base and meaner instincts of mankind, and the last was +a temple in which dwelt joy, liberty and love. And I said to myself, it +is all a question of intellectual development. + +Man has advanced just as he has mingled his thought with his labor. As +he has grown he has taken advantage of the forces of nature; first of +the moving wind, then of the falling water and finally of steam. From +one step to another he has obtained better houses, better clothes, and +better books, and he has done it by holding out every incentive to the +ingenious to produce them. The world has said, give us better clubs and +guns and cannons with which to kill our fellow Christians. And whoever +will give us better weapons and better music, and better houses to live +in, we will robe him in wealth crown him in honor, and render his name +deathless. Every incentive was held out to every human being to improve +these things, and that is the reason we have advanced in all mechanical +arts. But that gentleman in the dugout not only had his ideas about +politics, mechanics, and agriculture; he had his ideas also about +religion. His idea about politics was "Might makes right." It will be +thousands of years, may be, before mankind will believe in the saying +that "right makes might." He had his religion. That low skull was a +devil factory. He believed in Hell, and the belief was a consolation to +him. He could see the waves of God's wrath dashing against the rocks of +dark damnation. He could see tossing in the whitecaps the faces of +women, and stretching above the crests the dimpled hands of children; +and he regarded these things as the justice and mercy of God. And all +today who believe in this eternal punishment are the barbarians of the +nineteenth century. That man believed in a devil, that had a long tail +terminating with a fiery dart; that had wings like a bat--a devil that +had a cheerful habit of breathing brimstone, that had a cloven foot, +such as some orthodox clergymen seem to think I have. And there has not +been a patentable improvement made upon that devil in all the years +since. The moment you drive the devil out of theology, there is nothing +left worth speaking of. The moment they drop the devil, away goes +atonement. The moment they kill the devil, their whole scheme of +salvation has lost all of its interest for mankind. You must keep the +devil and, you must keep Hell. You must keep the devil, because with no +devil no priest is necessary. Now, all I ask is this--the same privilege +to improve upon his religion as upon his dug-out, and that is what I am +going to do, the best I can. No matter what church you belong to, or +what church belongs to us. Let us be honor bright and fair. + +I want to ask you: Suppose the king, if there was one, and the priest +if there was one at that time, had told these gentlemen in the dug-out: +"That dug-out is the best boat that can be built by man; the pattern of +that came from on high, from the great God of storm and flood, and any +man who says he can improve it by putting a stick in the middle of it +and a rag on the stick, is an infidel, and shall be burned at the +stake;" what, in your judgment--honor bright--would have been the +effect upon the circumnavigation of the globe? Suppose the king, if +there was one, and the priest, if there was one--and I presume there was +a priest, because it was a very ignorant age--suppose the king and +priest had said: "The tomtom is the most beautiful instrument of music +of which any man can conceive; that is the kind of music they have in +Heaven; an angel sitting upon the edge of a glorified cloud, golden in +the setting sun, playing upon that tom-tom, became so enraptured, so +entranced with her own music, that in a kind of ecstasy she dropped it-- +that is how we obtained it; and any man who says it can be improved by +putting a back and front to it, and four strings, and a bridge, and +getting a bow of hair with rosin, is a blaspheming wretch, and shall die +the death,"--I ask you, what effect would that have had upon music? If +that course had been pursued, would the human ears, in your judgment, +ever have been enriched with the divine symphonies of Beethoven? +Suppose the king, if there was one, and the priest, had said "That +crooked stick is the best plow that can be invented, the pattern of that +plow was given to a pious farmer in an exceedingly holy dream, and that +twisted straw is the ne plus ultra of all twisted things, and any man +who says he can make an improvement upon that plow, is an atheist;" +what, in your judgment, would have been the effect upon the science of +agriculture? + +Now, all I ask is the same privilege to improve upon his religion as +upon his mechanical arts. Why don't we go back to that period to get +the telegraph? Because they were barbarians. And shall we go to +barbarians to get our religion? What is religion? Religion simply +embraces the duty of man to man. Religion is simply the science of +human duty and the duty of man to man--that is what it is. It is the +highest science of all. And all other sciences are as nothing, except +as they contribute to the happiness of man. The science of religion is +the highest of all, embracing all others. And shall we go to the +barbarians to learn the science of sciences? The nineteenth century +knows more about religion than all the centuries dead. There is more +real charity in the world today than ever before. There is more thought +today than ever before. Woman is glorified today as she never was +before in the history of the world. There are more happy families now +than ever before--more children treated as though they were tender +blossoms than as though they were brutes than in any other time or +nation. Religion is simply the duty a man owes to man; and when you +fall upon your knees and pray for something you know not of, you neither +benefit the one you pray for nor yourself. One ounce of restitution is +worth a million of repentances anywhere, and a man will get along faster +by helping himself a minute than by praying ten years for somebody to +help him. Suppose you were coming along the street, and found a party +of men and women on their knees praying to a bank, and you asked them, +"Have any of you borrowed any money of this bank?" "No, but our +fathers, they, too, prayed to this bank." "Did they ever get any?" +"No, not that we ever heard of." I would tell them to get up. It is +easier to earn it, and it is far more manly. + +Our fathers in the "good old times,"--and the best that I can say of the +"good old times" is that they are gone, and the best I can say of the +good old people that lived in them is that they are gone, too--believed +that you made a man think your way by force. Well, you can't do it. +There is a splendid something in man that says: "I won't; I won't be +driven." But our fathers thought men could be driven. They tried it in +the "good old times." I used to read about the manner in which the +early Christians made converts--how they impressed upon the world the +idea that God loved them. I have read it, but it didn't burn into my +soul. I didn't think much about it--I heard so much about being fried +forever in Hell that it didn't seem so bad to burn a few minutes. I +love liberty and I hate all persecutions in the name of God. I never +appreciated the infamies that have been committed in the name of +religion until I saw the iron arguments that Christians used. I saw, +for instance, the thumb-screw, two little innocent looking pieces of +iron, armed with some little protuberances on the inner side to keep it +from slipping down, and through each end a screw, and when some man had +made some trifling remark, for instance, that he never believed that God +made a fish swallow a man to keep him from drowning, or something like +that, or, for instance, that he didn't believe in baptism. You know +that is very wrong. You can see for yourself the justice of damning a +man if his parents happened to baptize him in the wrong way--God cannot +afford to break a rule or two to save all the men in the world. I +happened to be in the company of some Baptist ministers once--you may +wonder how I happened to be in such company as that--and one of them +asked me what I thought about baptism. Well, I told them I hadn't +thought much about it--that I had never sat up nights on that question. +I said: "Baptism--with soap--is a good institution." Now, when some man +had said some trifling thing like that, they put this thumb-screw on +him, and in the name of universal benevolence and for the love of God-- +man has never persecuted man for the love of man; man has never +persecuted another for the love of charity--it is always for the love of +something he calls God, and every man's idea of God is his own idea. If +there is an infinite God, and there may be--I don't know--there may be a +million for all I know--I hope there is more than one--one seems so +lonesome. They kept turning this down, and when this was done, most men +would say: "I will recant." I think, I would. There is not much of +the martyr about me. I would have told them: "Now you write it down, +and I will sign it. You may have one God or a million, one Hell or a +million. You stop that--I am tired." + +Do you know, sometimes I have thought that all the hypocrites in the +world are not worth one drop of honest blood. I am sorry that any good +man ever died for religion. I would rather let them advance a little +easier. It is too bad to see a good man sacrificed for a lot of wild +beasts and cattle. But there is now and then a man who would not swerve +the breadth of a hair. There was now and then a sublime heart willing +to die for an intellectual conviction, and had it not been for these men +we would have been wild beasts and savages today. There were some men +who would not take it back, and had it not been for a few such brave, +heroic souls in every age we would have been cannibals, with pictures of +wild beasts tattooed upon our breasts, dancing around some dried-snake +fetish. And so they turned it down to the last thread of agony, and +threw the victim into some dungeon, where, in the throbbing silence and +darkness, he might suffer the agonies of the fabled damned. This was +done in the name of love, in the name of mercy, in the name of the +compassionate Christ. And the men that did it are the men that made our +Bible for us. + +I saw, too, at the same time, the Collar of torture. Imagine a circle +of iron, and on the inside a hundred points almost as sharp as needles. +This argument was fastened about the throat of the sufferer. Then he +could not walk nor sit down, nor stir without the neck being punctured +by these points. In a little while the throat would begin to swell, and +suffocation would end the agonies of that man. This man, it may be, had +committed the crime of saying, with tears upon his cheeks, "I do not +believe that God, the father of us all, will damn to eternal perdition +any of the children of men." And that was done to convince the world +that God so loved the world that He died for us. That was in order that +people might hear the glad tidings of great joy to all people. + +I saw another instrument, called the scavenger's daughter. Imagine a +pair of shears with handles, not only where they now are, but at the +points as well and just above the pivot that unites the blades a circle +of iron. In the upper handles the hands would be placed; in the lower, +the feet; and through the iron ring, at the centre, the head of the +victim would be forced, and in that position the man would be thrown +upon the earth, and the strain upon the muscle would produce such agony +that insanity took pity. And this was done to keep people from going to +Hell--to convince that man that he had made a mistake in his logic--and +it was done, too, by Protestants--Protestants that persecuted to the +extent of their power, and that is as much as Catholicism ever did. +They would persecute now if they had the power. There is not a man in +this vast audience who will say that the church should have temporal +power. There is not one of you but what believes in the eternal divorce +of church and state. Is it possible that the only people who are fit to +go to heaven are the only people not fit to rule mankind? + +I saw at the same time the rack. This was a box like the bed of a +wagon, with a windlass at each end, and ratchets to prevent slipping. +Over each windlass went chains, and when some man had, for instance, +denied the doctrine of the trinity, a doctrine it is necessary to +believe in order to get to Heaven--but, thank the Lord, you don't have +to understand it. This man merely denied that three times one was one, +or maybe he denied that there was ever any Son in the world exactly as +old as his father, or that there ever was a boy eternally older than his +mother--then they put that man on the rack. Nobody had ever been +persecuted for calling God bad--it has always been for calling him +good. When I stand here to say that, if there is a Hell, God is a +fiend, they say that is very bad. They say I am trying to tear down the +institutions of public virtue. But let me tell you one thing: there is +no reformation in fear--you can scare a man so that he won't do it +sometimes, but I will swear you can't scare him so bad that he won't +want to do it. Then they put this man on the rack and priests began +turning these levers, and kept turning until the ankles, the hips, the +shoulders, the elbows, the wrists, and all the joints of the victim were +dislocated, and he was wet with agony, and standing by was a physician +to feel his pulse. What for? To save his life? Yes. In mercy? No. +But in order that they might have the pleasure of racking him once more. +And this was the Christian spirit. This was done in the name of +civilization, in the name of religion, and all these wretches who did it +died in peace. There is not an orthodox preacher in the city that has +not a respect for every one of them. As, for instance, for John Calvin, +who was a murderer and nothing but a murderer, who would have disgraced +an ordinary gallows by being hanged upon it. These men when they came +to die were not frightened. God did not send any devils into their +death-rooms to make mouths at them. He reserved them for Voltaire, who +brought religious liberty to France. He reserved them for Thomas Paine, +who did more for liberty than all the churches. But all the inquisitors +died with the white hands of peace folded over the breast of piety. And +when they died, the room was filled with the rustle of the wings of +angels, waiting to bear the wretches to Heaven. + +When I read these frightful books it seems to me sometimes as though I +had suffered all these things myself. It seems sometimes as though I +had stood upon the shore of exile, and gazed with tearful eyes toward +home and native land; it seems to me as though I had been staked out +upon the sands of the sea, and drowned by the inexorable, advancing +tide; as though my nails had been torn from my hands, and into the +bleeding quick needles had been thrust; as though my feet had been +crushed in iron boots; as though I had been chained in the cell of +Inquisition, and listened with dying ears for the coming footsteps of +release; as though I had stood upon the scaffold and saw the glittering +axe fall upon me; as though I had been upon the rack and had seen, +bending above me, the white faces of hypocrite priests; as though I had +been taken from my fireside, from my wife and children, taken to the +public square, chained; as though fagots had been piled about me; as +though the flames had climbed around my limbs and scorched my eyes to +blindness, and as though my ashes had been scattered to the four winds +by all the countless hands of hate. And, while I so feel, I swear that +while I live I will do what little I can to augment the liberties of +man, woman and child. I denounce slavery and superstition everywhere. +I believe in liberty, and happiness, and love, and joy in this world. I +am amazed that any man ever had the impudence to try and do another +man's thinking. I have just as good a right to talk theology as a +minister. If they all agreed I might admit it was a science, but as all +disagree, and the more they study the wider they get apart, I may be +permitted to suggest, it is not a science. When no two will tell you +the road to Heaven,--that is, giving you the same route--and if you +would inquire of them all, you would just give up trying to go there, +and say I may as well stay where I am, and let the Lord come to me. + +Do you know that this world has not been fit for a lady and gentleman to +live in for twenty-five years, just on account of slavery. It was not +until the year 1808 that Great Britain abolished the slave trade, and up +to that time her judges, her priests occupying her pulpits, the members +of the royal family, owned stock in the slave ships, and luxuriated upon +the profits of piracy and murder. It was not until the same year that +the United States of America abolished the slave trade between this and +other countries, but carefully preserved it as between the states. It +was not until the 28th day of August, 1833, that Great Britain abolished +human slavery in her colonies; and it was not until the 1st day of +January, 1863, that Abraham Lincoln, sustained by the sublime and heroic +North, rendered our flag pure as the sky in which it floats. Abraham +Lincoln was, in my judgment, in many respects, the grandest man ever +president of the United States. Upon his monument these words should be +written: "Here sleeps the only man in the history of the world, who, +having been clothed with almost absolute power, never abused it, except +upon the side of mercy." + +For two hundred years the Christians of the United States deliberately +turned the cross of Christ into a whipping-post. Christians bred hounds +to catch other Christians. Let me show you what the Bible has done for +mankind: "Servants, be obedient to your masters." The only word coming +from that sweet Heaven was, "Servants, obey your masters." Frederick +Douglas told me that he had lectured upon the subject of freedom twenty +years before he was permitted to set his foot in a church. I tell you +the world has not been fit to live in for twenty-five years. Then all +the people used to cringe and crawl to preachers. Mr. Buckle, in his +history of civilization, shows that men were even struck dead for +speaking impolitely to a priest. God would not stand it. See how they +used to crawl before cardinals, bishops and popes. It is not so now. +Before wealth they bowed to the very earth, and in the presence of +titles they became abject. All this is slowly, but surely changing. We +no longer bow to men simply because they are rich. Our fathers worshiped +the golden calf. The worst you can say of an American now is, he +worships the gold of the calf. Even the calf is beginning to see this +distinction. + +The time will come when no matter how much money a man has, he will not +be respected unless he is using it for the benefit of his fellow-men. +It will soon be here. It no longer satisfies the ambition of a great +man to be king or emperor. The last Napoleon was not satisfied with +being the emperor of the French. He was not satisfied with having a +circlet of gold about his head. He wanted some evidence that he had +something of value within his head. So he wrote the life of Julius +Caesar, that he might become a member of the French academy. The +emperors, the kings, the popes, no longer tower above their fellows. +Compare, for instance, King William and Helmholtz. The king is one of +the anointed by the Most High, as they claim--one upon whose head has +been poured the divine petroleum of authority. Compare this king with +Helmholtz, who towers an intellectual Colossus above the crowned +mediocrity. Compare George Eliot with Queen Victoria. The queen is +clothed in garments given her by blind fortune and unreasoning chance, +while George Eliot wears robes of glory woven in the loom of her own +genius. And so it is the world over. The time is coming when a man +will be rated at his real worth, and that by his brain and heart. We +care nothing now about an officer unless he fills his place. No matter +if he is president, if he rattles in the place nobody cares anything +about him. I might give you an instance in point, but I won't. The +world is getting better and grander and nobler every day. + +Now, if men have been slaves, if they have crawled in the dust before +one another, what shall I say of women? They have been the slaves of +men. It took thousands of ages to bring women from abject slavery up to +the divine height of marriage. I believe in marriage. If there is any +Heaven upon earth, it is in the family by the fireside and the family +is a unit of government. Without the family relation that is tender, +pure and true, civilization is impossible. Ladies, the ornaments you +wear upon your persons tonight are but the souvenirs of your mother's +bondage. The chains around your necks; and the bracelets clasped upon +your white arms by the thrilled hand of love, have been changed by the +wand of civilization from iron to shining, glittering gold. Nearly +every civilization in this world accounts for the devilment in it by the +crimes of woman. They say woman brought all the trouble into the world. +I don't care if she did. I would rather live in a world full of trouble +with the women I love, than to live in Heaven with nobody but men. I +read in a book an account of the creation of the world. The book I have +taken pains to say was not written by any God. And why do I say so? +Because I can write a far better book myself. Because it is full of +barbarism. Several ministers in this city have undertaken to answer me-- +notably those who don't believe the Bible themselves. I want to ask +these men one thing. I want them to be fair. + +Every minister in the City of Chicago that answers me, and those who +have answered me had better answer me again--I want them to say, and +without any sort of evasion--without resorting to any pious tricks--I +want them to say whether they believe that the Eternal God of this +universe ever upheld the crime of polygamy. Say it square and fair. +Don't begin to talk about that being a peculiar time, and that God was +easy on the prejudices of those old fellows. I want them to answer that +question and to answer it squarely, which they haven't done. Did this +God, which you pretend to worship, ever sanction the institution of +human slavery? Now, answer fair. Don't slide around it. Don't begin +and answer what a bad man I am, nor what a good man Moses was. Stick to +the text. Do you believe in a God that allowed a man to be sold from +his children? Do you worship such an infinite monster? And if you do, +tell your congregation whether you are not ashamed to admit it. Let +every minister who answers me again tell whether he believes God +commanded his general to kill the little dimpled babe in the cradle. +Let him answer it. Don't say that those were very bad times. Tell +whether He did it or not, and then your people will know whether to hate +that God or not. Be honest. Tell them whether that God in war captured +young maidens and turned them over to the soldiers; and then ask the +wives and sweet girls of your congregation to get down on their knees +and worship the infinite fiend that did that thing. Answer! It is your +God I am talking about, and if that is what God did, please tell your +congregation what, under the same circumstances, the devil would have +done. Don't tell your people that is a poem. Don't tell your people +that is pictorial. That won't do. Tell your people whether it is true +or false. That is what I want you to do. + +In this book I read about God's making the world and one man. That is +all He intended to make. The making of woman was a second thought, +though I am willing to admit that as a rule second thoughts are best. +This God made a man and put him in a public park. In a little while He +noticed that the man got lonesome; then He found He had made a mistake, +and that He would have to make somebody to keep him company. But having +used up all the nothing He originally used in making the world and one +man, He had to take a part of a man to start a woman with. So He causes +sleep to fall on this man--now understand me, I do not say this story is +true. After the sleep had fallen on this man the Supreme Being took a +rib, or, as the French would call it, a cutlet, out of him, and from +that He made a woman; and I am willing to swear, taking into account +the amount and quality of the raw material used, this was the most +magnificent job ever accomplished in this world. Well, after He got the +woman done she was brought to the man, not to see how she liked him, but +to see how he liked her. He liked her and they started housekeeping, and +they were told of certain things they might do and of one thing they +could not do--and of course they did it. I would have done it in +fifteen minutes, I know it. There wouldn't have been an apple on that +tree half an hour from date, and the limbs would have been full of +clubs. And then they were turned out of the park and extra policemen +were put on to keep them from getting back. And then trouble commenced +and we have been at it ever since. Nearly all the religions of this +world account for the existence of evil by such a story as that. + +Well, I read in another book what appeared to be an account of the same +transaction. It was written about four thousand years before the other. +All commentators agree that the one that was written last was the +original, and the one that was written first was copied from the one +that was written last. But I would advise you all not to allow your +creed to be disturbed by a little matter of four or five thousand years. +It is a great deal better to be mistaken in dates than to go to the +devil. In this other account the Supreme Brahma made up his mind to +make the world and a man and woman. He made the world and he made the +man and then the woman, and put them on the Island of Ceylon. According +to the account it was the most beautiful island of which man can +conceive. Such birds, such songs, such flowers, and such verdure! And +the branches of the trees were so arranged that when the wind swept +through them every tree was a thousand aeolian harps. Brahma, when he +put them there, said: "Let them have a period of courtship, for it is +my desire and will that true love should forever precede marriage." +When I read that, it was so much more beautiful and lofty than the +other, that I said to myself: "If either one of these stories ever turns +out to be true, I hope it will be this one." + +Then they had their courtship, with the nightingale singing and the +stars shining and the flowers blooming, and they fell in love. Imagine +that courtship! No prospective fathers or mothers-in-law; no prying and +gossiping neighbors; nobody to say, "Young man, how do you expect to +support her?" Nothing of that kind, nothing but the nightingale singing +its song of joy and pain, as though the thorn already touched its heart. +They were married by the Supreme Brahma, and he said to them, "Remain +here; you must never leave this island." Well, after a little while the +man--and his name was Adami, and the woman's name was Heva--said to +Heva: "I believe I'll look about a little." He wanted to go West. He +went to the western extremity of the island where there was a little +narrow neck of land connecting it with the mainland, and the devil, who +is always playing pranks with us, produced a mirage, and when he looked +over to the mainland, such hills and vales, such dells and dales, such +mountains crowned with snow, such cataracts clad in bows of glory did he +see there, that he went back and told Heva: "The country over there is +a thousand times better than this, let us migrate." She, like every +other woman that ever lived, said: "Let well enough alone we have all +we want; let us stay here." But he said: "No, let us go;" so she +followed him, and when they came to this narrow neck of land, he took +her on his back like a gentleman, and carried her over. But the moment +they got over, they heard a crash, and, looking back, discovered that +this narrow neck of land had fallen into the sea. The mirage had +disappeared, and there was naught but rocks and sand, and the Supreme +Brahma cursed them both to the lowest Hell. + +Then it was that the man spoke--and I have liked him ever since for it-- +"Curse me, but curse not her; it was not her fault, it was mine." +That's the kind of a man to start a world with. The Supreme Brahma +said: "I will save her but not thee." And she spoke out of her +fullness of love, out of a heart in which there was love enough to make +all her daughters rich in holy affection, and said: "If thou wilt not +spare him, spare neither me. I do not wish to live without him, I love +him." Then the Supreme Brahma said--and I have liked him ever since I +read it--"I will spare you both, and watch over you and your children +forever." Honor bright, is that not the better and grander story? + +And in that same book I find this "Man is strength, woman is beauty; man +is courage, woman is love. When the one man loves the one woman, and +the one woman loves the one man, the very angels leave Heaven, and come +and sit in that house, and sing for joy." In the same book this: +"Blessed is that man, and beloved of all the gods, who is afraid of no +man, and of whom no man is afraid." Magnificent character! A +missionary certainly ought to talk to that man. And I find this: "Never +will I accept private, individual salvation, but rather will I stay and +work, strive and suffer, until every soul from every star has been +brought home to God." Compare that with the Christian that expects to +go to Heaven while the world is rolling over Niagara to an eternal and +unending Hell. So I say that religion lays all the crime and troubles +of this world at the beautiful feet of woman. And then the church has +the impudence to say that it has exalted women. I believe that marriage +is a perfect partnership; that woman has every right that man has--and +one more--the right to be protected. Above all men in the world I hate a +stingy man--a man that will make his wife beg for money. "What did you +do with the dollar I gave you last week? And what are you going to do +with this?" It is vile. No gentleman will ever be satisfied with the +love of a beggar and a slave--no gentleman will ever be satisfied except +with the love of an equal. What kind of children does a man expect to +have with a beggar for their mother? A man can not be so poor but that +he can be generous, and if you only have one dollar in the word and you +have got to spend it, spend it like a lord--spend it as though it were a +dry leaf, and you the owner of unbounded forests--spend it as though you +had a wilderness of your own. That's the way to spend it. + +I had rather be a beggar and spend my last dollar like a king, than be a +king and spend my money like a beggar. If it has got to go, let it go. +And this is my advice to the poor. For you can never be so poor that +whatever you do you can't do in a grand and manly way. I hate a cross +man. What right has a man to assassinate the joy of life? When you go +home you ought to go like a ray of light--so that it will, even in the +night, burst out of the doors and windows and illuminate the darkness. +Some men think their mighty brains have been in a turmoil; they have +been thinking about who will be Alderman from the Fifth Ward; they have +been thinking about politics, great and mighty questions have been +engaging their minds, they have bought calico at five cents or six, and +want to sell it for seven. Think of the intellectual strain that must +have been upon that man, and when he gets home everybody else in the +house must look out for his comfort. A woman who has only taken care of +five or six children, and one or two of them sick, has been nursing them +and singing to them, and trying to make one yard of cloth do the work of +two, she, of course, is fresh and fine and ready to wait upon this +gentleman--the head of the family--the boss. I was reading the other +day of an apparatus invented for the ejecting of gentlemen who subsist +upon free lunches. It is so arranged that when the fellow gets both +hands into the victuals, a large hand descends upon him, jams his hat +over his eyes--he is seized, turned toward the door, and just in the +nick of time an immense boot comes from the other side, kicks him in +italics, sends him out over the sidewalk and lands him rolling in the +gutter. I never hear of such a man--a boss--that I don't feel as though +that machine ought to be brought into requisition for his benefit. + +Love is the only thing that will pay ten per cent of interest on the +outlay. Love is the only thing in which the height of extravagance is +the last degree of economy. It is the only thing, I tell you. Joy is +wealth. Love is the legal tender of the soul--and you need not be rich +to be happy. We have all been raised on success in this country. +Always been talked with about being successful, and have never thought +ourselves very rich unless we were the possessors of some magnificent +mansion, and unless our names have been between the putrid lips of rumor +we could not be happy. Every little boy is striving to be this and be +that. I tell you the happy man is the successful man. The man that has +won the love of one good woman is a successful man. The man that has +been the emperor of one good heart, and that heart embraced all his, has +been a success. If another has been the emperor of the round world and +has never loved and been loved, his life is a failure. It won't do. +Let us teach our children the other way, that the happy man is the +successful man, and he who is a happy man is the one who always tries to +make some one else happy. + +The man who marries a woman to make her happy; that marries her as much +for her own sake as for his own; not the man that thinks his wife is +his property, who thinks that the title to her belongs to him--that the +woman is the property of the man; wretches who get mad at their wives +and then shoot them down in the street because they think the woman is +their property. I tell you it is not necessary to be rich and great and +powerful to be happy. + +A little while ago I stood by the grave of the old Napoleon--a +magnificent tomb of gilt and gold, fit almost for a dead deity--and +gazed upon the sarcophagus of black Egyptian marble, where rest at last +the ashes of the restless man. I leaned over the balustrade and thought +about the career of the greatest soldier of the modern world. I saw him +walk upon the banks of the Seine, contemplating suicide--I saw him at +Toulon--I saw him putting down the mob in the streets of Paris--I saw +him at the head of the army of Italy--I saw him crossing the bridge of +Lodi with the tri-color in his hand--I saw him in Egypt in the shadows +of the pyramids--I saw him conquer the Alps and mingle the eagles of +France with the eagles of the crags. I saw him at Marengo--at Ulm and +Austerlitz. I saw him in Russia, where the infantry of the snow and the +cavalry of the wild blast scattered his legions like Winter's withered +leaves. I saw him at Leipzig in defeat and disaster--driven by a +million bayonets back upon Paris--clutched like a wild beast--banished +to Elba. I saw him escape and retake an empire by the force of his +genius. I saw him upon the frightful field of Waterloo, where chance +and fate combined to wreck the fortunes of their former king. And I saw +him at St. Helena, with his hands crossed behind him, gazing out upon +the sad and solemn sea. I thought of the orphans and widows he had +made--of the tears that had been shed for his glory, and of the only +woman who ever loved him, pushed from his heart by the cold hand of +ambition. And I said I would rather have been a French peasant and worn +wooden shoes. I would rather have lived in a hut with a vine growing +over the door, and the grapes growing purple in the kisses of the Autumn +sun; I would rather have been that poor peasant with my loving wife by +my side, knitting as the day died out of the sky, with my children upon +my knees and their arms about me; I would rather have been that man and +gone down to the tongueless silence of the dreamless dust than to have +been that imperial impersonation of force and murder, known as Napoleon +the Great. It is not necessary to be rich in order to be happy. It is +only necessary to be in love. Thousands of men go to college and get a +certificate that they have an education, and that certificate is in +Latin and they stop studying, and in two years, to save their life, they +couldn't read the certificate they got. + +It is mostly so in marrying. They stop courting when they get married. +They think, we have won her and that is enough. Ah! the difference +before and after! How well they look! How bright their eyes! How +light their steps, and how full they were of generosity and laughter! I +tell you a man should consider himself in good luck if a woman loves him +when he is doing his level best! Good luck! Good luck! And another +thing that is the cause of much trouble is that people don't count +fairly. They do what they call putting their best foot forward. That +means lying a little. I say put your worst foot forward. If you have +got any faults admit them. If you drink say so and quit it. If you +chew and smoke and swear, say so. If some of your kindred are not very +good people, say so. If you have had two or three that died on the +gallows, or that ought to have died there, say so. Tell all your faults +and if after she knows your faults she says she will have you, you have +got the dead wood on that woman forever. I claim that there should be +perfect equality in the home, and I can not think of anything nearer +Heaven than a home where there is true republicanism and true democracy +at the fireside. All are equal. + +And then, do you know, I like to think that love is eternal; that if +you really love the woman, for her sake, you will love her no matter +what she may do; that if she really loves you, for your sake, the same; +that love does not look at alterations, through the wrinkles of time, +through the mask of years--if you really love her you will always see +the face you loved and won. And I like to think of it. If a man loves a +woman she does not ever grow old to him. And the woman who really loves +a man does not see that he is growing older. He is not decrepit to her. +He is not tremulous. He is not old. He is not bowed. She always sees +the same gallant fellow that won her hand and heart. I like to think of +it in that way, and as Shakespeare says: "Let Time reach with his +sickle as far as ever he can; although he can reach ruddy cheeks and +ripe lips, and flashing eyes, he can not quite reach love." I like to +think of it. We will go down the hill of life together, and enter the +shadow one with the other, and as we go down we may hear the ripple of +the laughter of our grandchildren, and the birds, and spring, and youth, +and love will sing once more upon the leafless branches of the tree of +age. I love to think of it in that way--absolute equals, happy, happy, +and free, all our own. + +But some people say: "Would you allow a woman to vote?" Yes, if she +wants to; that is her business, not mine. If a woman wants to vote, I +am too much of a gentleman to say she shall not. But, they say, woman +has not sense enough to vote. It don't take much. But it seems to me +there are some questions, as for instance, the question of peace or war, +that a woman should be allowed to vote upon. A woman that has sons to +be offered on the altar of that Moloch, it seems to me that such a woman +should have as much right to vote upon the question of peace and war as +some thrice-besotted sot that reels to the ballot box and deposits his +vote for war. But if women have been slaves, what shall we say of the +little children, born in the sub-cellars, children of poverty, children +of crime, children of wealth, children that are afraid when they hear +their names pronounced by the lips of their mother, children that cower +in fear when they hear the footsteps of their brutal father, the flotsam +and jetsam upon the rude sea of life, my heart goes out to them one and +all. + +Children have all the rights that we have and one more, and that is to +be protected. Treat your children in that way. Suppose your child +tells a lie. Don't pretend that the whole world is going into +bankruptcy. Don't pretend that that is the first lie ever told. Tell +them, like an honest man, that you have told hundreds of lies yourself, +and tell the dear little darling that it is not the best way; that it +soils the soul. Think of the man that deals in stocks whipping his +children for putting false rumors afloat! Think of an orthodox minister +whipping his own flesh and blood, for not telling all it thinks! Think +of that! Think of a lawyer for beating his child for avoiding the +truth! when the old man makes about half his living that way. A lie is +born of weakness on one side and tyranny on the other. That is what it +is. Think of a great big man coming at a little bit of a child with a +club in his hand! What is the little darling to do? Lie, of course. I +think that mother Nature put that ingenuity into the mind of the child, +when attacked by a parent, to throw up a little breastwork in the shape +of a lie to defend itself. When a great general wins a battle by what +they call strategy, we build monuments to him. What is strategy? Lies. +Suppose a man as much larger than we are as we are larger than a child +five years of age, should come at us with a liberty pole in his hand, +and in tones of thunder want to know "who broke that plate," there isn't +one of us, not excepting myself, that wouldn't swear that we never had +seen that plate in our lives, or that it was cracked when we got it. + +Another good way to make children tell the truth is to tell it yourself. +Keep your word with your child the same as you would with your banker. +If you tell a child you will do anything, either do it or give the child +the reason why. Truth is born of confidence. It comes from the lips of +love and liberty. I was over in Michigan the other day. There was a boy +over there at Grand Rapids about five or six years old, a nice, smart +boy, as you will see from the remark he made--what you might call a +nineteenth century boy. His father and mother had promised to take him +out riding. They had promised to take him out riding for about three +weeks, and they would slip off and go without him. Well, after while +that got kind of played out with the little boy, and the day before I +was there they played the trick on him again. They went out and got the +carriage, and went away, and as they rode away from the front of the +house, he happened to be standing there with his nurse, and he saw them. +The whole thing flashed on him in a moment. He took in the situation, +and turned to his nurse and said, pointing to his father and mother, +"There go the two d--t liars in the State of Michigan!" When you go +home fill the house with joy, so that the light of it will stream out +the windows and doors, and illuminate even the darkness. It is just as +easy that way as any in the world. + +I want to tell you tonight that you can not get the robe of hypocrisy on +you so thick that the sharp eye of childhood will not see through every +veil, and if you pretend to your children that you are the best man that +ever lived--the bravest man that ever lived--they will find you out +every time. They will not have the same opinion of father when they +grow up that they used to have. They will have to be in mighty bad luck +if they ever do meaner things than you have done. When your child +confesses to you that it has committed a fault, take that child in your +arms, and let it feel your heart beat against its heart, and raise your +children in the sunlight of love, and they will be sunbeams to you along +the pathway of life. Abolish the club and the whip from the house, +because, if the civilized use a whip, the ignorant and the brutal will +use a club, and they will use it because you use the whip. + +Every little while some door is thrown open in some orphan asylum, and +there we see the bleeding back of a child whipped beneath the roof that +was raised by love. It is infamous, and a man that can't raise a child +without the whip ought not to have a child. If there is one of you here +that ever expect to whip your child again, let me ask you something. +Have your photograph taken at the time and let it show your face red +with vulgar anger, and the face of the little one with eyes swimming in +tears, and the little chin dimpled with fear, looking like a piece of +water struck by a sudden cold wind. If that little child should die, I +can not think of a sweeter way to spend an Autumn afternoon than to take +that photograph and go to the cemetery, when the maples are clad in +tender gold, and when little scarlet runners are coming from the sad +heart of the earth, and sit down upon that mound, and look upon that +photograph, and think of the flesh, now dust, that you beat. Just think +of it. I could not bear to die in the arms of a child that I had +whipped. I could not bear to feel upon my lips, when they were withered +beneath the touch of death, the kiss of one that I had struck. Some +Christians act as though they really thought that when Christ said, +"Suffer little children to come unto me," He had a rawhide under His +coat. They act as though they really thought that He made that remark +simply to get the children within striking distance. + +I have known Christians to turn their children from their doors, +especially a daughter, and then get down on their knees and pray to God +to watch over them and help them. I will never ask God to help my +children unless I am doing my level best in that same wretched line. I +will tell you what I say to my girls: "Go where you will; do what crime +you may; fall to what depth of degradation you may; in all the storms +and winds and earthquakes of life, no matter what you do, you never can +commit any crime that will shut my door, my arms or my heart to you. As +long as I live you have one sincere friend." Call me an atheist; call +me an infidel because I hate the God of the Jew--which I do. I intend +so to live that when I die my children can come to my grave and +truthfully say: "He who sleeps here never gave us one moment of pain." + +When I was a boy there was one day in each week too good for a child to +be happy in. In these good old times Sunday commenced when the sun went +down on Saturday night and closed when the sun went down on Sunday +night. We commenced Saturday to get a good ready. And when the sun +went down Saturday night there was a gloom deeper than midnight that +fell upon the house. You could not crack hickory nuts then. And if you +were caught chewing gum, it was only another evidence of the total +depravity of the human heart. Well, after a while we got to bed sadly +and sorrowfully after having heard Heaven thanked that we were not all +in Hell. And I sometimes used to wonder how the mercy of God lasted as +long as it did, because I recollected that on several occasions I had +not been at school, when I was supposed to be there. Why I was not +burned to a crisp was a mystery to me. The next morning we got ready +for church--all solemn, and when we got there the minister was up in the +pulpit, about twenty feet high, and he commenced at Genesis about "The +fall of man," and he went on to about twenty thirdly; then he struck +the second application, and when he struck the application I knew he was +about half way through. And then he went on to show the scheme how the +Lord was satisfied by punishing the wrong man. Nobody but a God would +have thought of that ingenious way. Well, when he got through that, +then came the catechism--the chief end of man. Then my turn came, and +we sat along on a little bench where our feet came within about fifteen +inches of the floor, and the dear old minister used to ask us: + +"Boys, do you know that you ought to be in Hell?" + +And we answered up as cheerfully as could be expected under the +circumstances. + +"Yes, sir." + +"Well, boys, do you know that you would go to Hell if you died in your +sins?" + +And we said: "Yes, sir." + +And then came the great test: + +"Boys"--I can't get the tone, you know. And do you know that is how the +preachers get the bronchitis. You never heard of an auctioneer getting +the bronchitis, nor the second mate on a steamboat--never. What gives +it to the minister is talking solemnly when they don't feel that way, +and it has the same influence upon the organs of speech that it would +have upon the cords of the calves of your legs to walk on your tip-toes, +and so I call bronchitis "parsonitis." And if the ministers would all +tell exactly what they think they would all get well, but keeping back a +part of the truth is what gives them bronchitis. + +Well the old man--the dear old minister--used to try and show us how +long we would be in Hell if we would only locate there. But to finish +the other. The grand test question was: + +"Boys, if it was God's will that you should go to Hell, would you be +willing to go?" + +And every little liar said: + +"Yes, sir." + +Then, in order to tell how long we would stay there, he used to say: + +"Suppose once in a billion ages a bird should come from a far distant +clime and carry off in its bill one little grain of sand, the time would +finally come when the last grain of sand would be carried away. Do you +understand?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Boys, by that time it would not be sun-up in Hell." + +Where did that doctrine of Hell come from? I will tell you; from that +fellow in the dug-out. Where did he get it? It was a souvenir from the +wild beasts. Yes, I tell you he got it from the wild beasts, from the +glittering eye of the serpent, from the coiling, twisting snakes with +their fangs mouths; and it came from the bark, growl and howl of wild +beasts; it was born of a laugh of the hyena and got it from the +depraved chatter of malicious apes. And I despise it with every drop of +my blood and defy it. If there is any God in this universe who will +damn his children for an expression of an honest thought I wish to go to +Hell. I would rather go there than go to heaven and keep the company of +a God that would thus damn his children. Oh it is an infamous doctrine +to teach that to little children, to put a shadow in the heart of a +child to fill the insane asylums with that miserable, infamous lie. I +see now and then a little girl--a dear little darling, with a face like +the light, and eyes of joy, a human blossom, and I think, "is it +possible that little girl will ever grow up to be a Presbyterian?" Is +it possible, my goodness, that that flower will finally believe in the +five points of Calvinism or in the eternal damnation of man? Is it +possible that that little fairy will finally believe that she could be +happy in Heaven with her baby in Hell? Think of it! Think of it! And +that is the Christian religion! + +We cry out against the Indian mother that throws her child into the +Ganges, to be devoured by the alligator or crocodile, but that is joy in +comparison with the Christian mother's hope, that she may be in +salvation while her brave boy is in Hell. + +I tell you I want to kick the doctrine about Hell--I want to kick it out +every time I go by it. I want to get Americans in this country placed +so they will be ashamed to preach it. I want to get the congregations +so that they won't listen to it. We cannot divide the world off into +saints and sinners in that way. There is a little girl, fair as a +flower, and she grows up until she is twelve, thirteen, or fourteen +years old. Are you going to damn her in the fifteenth, sixteenth or +seventeenth year, when the arrow from Cupid's bow touches her heart and +she is glorified--are you going to damn her now? She marries and loves, +and holds in her arms a beautiful child? Are you going to damn her now? +When are you going to damn her? Because she has listened to some +Methodist minister and after all that flood of light failed to believe? +Are you going to damn her then? I tell you God can not afford to damn +such a woman. + +A woman in the State of Indiana forty or fifty years ago who carded the +wool and made rolls and spun them, and made the cloth and cut out the +clothes for the children, and nursed them, and sat up with them nights +and--gave them medicine, and held them in her arms and wept over them-- +cried for joy and wept for fear, and finally raised ten or eleven good +men and women with the ruddy glow of health upon their cheeks, and she +would have died for any one of them any moment of her life, and finally +she, bowed with age and bent with care and labor, dies, and at the +moment the magical touch of death is upon her face, she looks as though +she never had had a care, and her children burying her cover her face +with tears. Do you tell me God can afford to damn that kind of a woman? +One such act of injustice would turn Heaven itself into Hell. If there +is any God, sitting above him in infinite serenity we have the figure of +justice. Even a God must do justice; even a God must worship justice; +and any form of superstition that destroys justice is infamous! Just +think of teaching that doctrine to little children! A little child +would go out into the garden, and there would be a little tree laden +with blossoms, and the little fellow would lean against it, and there +would be a bird on one of the boughs, singing and swinging, and thinking +about four little speckled eggs, warmed by the breast of its mate--and +singing and swinging, and the music in in happy waves rippling out of +the tiny throat, and the flowers blossoming, the air filled with +perfume, and the great white clouds floating in the sky, and the little +boy would lean up against the tree and think about Hell and the worm +that never dies. Oh! the idea there can be any day too good for a child +to be happy in! + +Well, after we got over the catechism, then came the sermon in the +afternoon, and it was exactly like the one in the forenoon, except the +other end to. Then we started for home--a solemn march--"not a soldier +discharged his farewell shot"--and when we got home, if we had been +really good boys, we used to be taken up to the cemetery to cheer us up, +and it always did cheer me, those sunken graves, those leaning stones, +those gloomy epitaphs covered with the moss of years always cheered me. +When I looked at them I said: "Well, this kind of thing can't last +always." Then we came back home, and we had books to read which were +very eloquent and amusing. We had Josephus, and the "History of the +Waldenses," and Fox's "Book of Martyrs," Baxter's "Saint's Rest," and +"Jenkyn on the Atonement." I used to read Jenkyn with a good deal of +pleasure, and I often thought that the atonement would have to be very +broad in its provisions to cover the case of a man that would I write +such a book for boys. Then I would look to see how the sun was getting +on, and sometimes I thought it had stuck from pure cussedness. Then I +would go back and try Jenkyn's again. Well, but it had to go down, and +when the last rim of light sank below the horizon, off would go our hats +and we would give three cheers for liberty once again. + +I tell you, don't make slaves of your children on Sunday. + +The idea that there is any God that hates to hear a child laugh! Let +your children play games on Sunday. Here is a poor man that hasn't +money enough to go to a big church and he has too much independence to +go to a little church that the big church built for charity. He doesn't +want to slide into Heaven that way. I tell you don't come to church, +but go to the woods and take your family and a lunch with you, and sit +down upon the old log and let the children gather flowers and hear the +leaves whispering poems like memories of long ago, and when the sun is +about going down, kissing the summits of far hills, go home with your +hearts filled with throbs of joy. There is more recreation and joy in +that than going to a dry goods box with a steeple on top of it and +hearing a man tell you that your chances are about ninety-nine to one +for being eternally damned. Let us make this Sunday a day of splendid +pleasure, not to excess, but to everything that makes man purer and +grander and nobler. I would like to see now something like this: +Instead of so many churches, a vast cathedral that would hold twenty or +thirty thousands of people, and I would like to see an opera produced in +it that would make the souls of men have higher and grander and nobler +aims. I would like to see the walls covered with pictures and the +niches rich with statuary; I would like to see something put there that +you could use in this world now, and I do not believe in sacrificing the +present to the future; I do not believe in drinking skimmed milk here +with the promise of butter beyond the clouds. Space or time can not be +holy any more than a vacuum can be pious. Not a bit, not a bit; and no +day can be so holy but what the laugh of a child will make it holier +still. + +Strike with hand of fire, on, weird musician, thy harp, strung with +Apollo's golden hair! Fill the vast cathedral aisles with symphonies +sweet and dim, deft toucher of the organ's keys; blow, bugler, blow +until thy silver notes do touch and kiss the moonlit waves, and charm +the lovers wandering 'mid the vine-clad hills. But know your sweetest +strains are discords all compared with childhood's happy laugh--the +laugh that fills the eyes with light and every heart with joy! O, +rippling river of laughter, thou art the blessed boundary line between +the beasts and men, and every wayward wave of thine doth drown some +fretful fiend of care. O Laughter, rose lipped daughter of joy, there +are dimples enough in thy cheeks to catch and hold and glorify all the +tears of grief. + +Don't plant your children in long, straight rows like posts. Let them +have light and air and let them grow beautiful as palms. When I was a +little boy children went to bed when they were not sleepy, and always +got up when they were. I would like to see that changed, but they say +we are too poor, some of us, to do it. Well, all right. It is as easy +to wake a child with a kiss as with a blow; with kindness as with +curse. And, another thing; let the children eat what they want to. +Let them commence at whichever end of the dinner they desire. That is +my doctrine. They know what they want much better than you do. Nature +is a great deal smarter than you ever were. + +All the advance that has been made in the science of medicine, has been +made by the recklessness of patients. I can recollect when they +wouldn't give a man water in a fever--not a drop. Now and then some +fellow would get so thirsty he would say "Well, I'll die any way, so +I'll drink it," and thereupon he would drink a gallon of water, and +thereupon he would burst into a generous perspiration, and get well--and +the next morning when the doctor would come to see him they would tell +him about the man drinking the water, and he would say: + +"How much?" + +"Well, he swallowed two pitchers full." + +"Is he alive?" + +"Yes." + +So they would go into the room and the doctor would feel his pulse and +ask him: + +"Did you drink two pitchers of water?" + +"Yes." + +"My God! what a constitution you have got." + +I tell you there is something splendid in man that will not always mind. +Why, if we had done as the kings told us five hundred years ago, we +would all have been slaves. If we had done as the priests told us we +would all have been idiots. If we had done as the doctors told us we +would all have been dead. We have been saved by disobedience. We have +been saved by that splendid thing called independence, and I want to see +more of it, day after day, and I want to see children raised so they +will have it. That is my doctrine. Give the children a chance. Be +perfectly honor bright with them, and they will be your friends when you +are old. Don't try to teach them something they can never learn. Don't +insist upon their pursuing some calling they have no sort of faculty +for. Don't make that poor girl play ten years on a piano when she has +no ear for music, and when she has practiced until she can play +"Bonaparte crossing the Alps," and you can't tell after she has played +it whether Bonaparte ever got across or not. Men are oaks, women are +vines, children are flowers, and if there is any Heaven in this world, +it is in the family. It is where the wife loves the husband, and the +husband loves the wife, and where the dimpled arms of children are about +the necks of both. That is Heaven, if there is any--and I do not want +any better Heaven in another world than that, and if in another world I +can not live with the ones I loved here, then I would rather not be +there. I would rather resign. + +Well, my friends, I have some excuses to make for the race to which I +belong. In the first place, this world is not very well adapted to +raising good men and good women. It is three times better adapted to +the cultivation of fish than of people. There is one little narrow belt +running zigzag around the world, in which men and women of genius can be +raised, and that is all. It is with man as it is with vegetation. In +the valley you find the oak and elm tossing their branches defiantly to +the storm, and as you advance up the mountain side the hemlock, the +pine, the birch, the spruce, the fir, and finally you come to little +dwarfed trees, that look like other trees seen through a telescope +reversed--every limb twisted as through pain--getting a scanty +subsistence from the miserly crevices of the rocks. You go on and on, +until at last the highest crag is freckled with a kind of moss, and +vegetation ends. You might as well try to raise oaks and elms where the +mosses grow, as to raise great men and women where their surroundings +are unfavorable. You must have the proper climate and soil. There +never has been a man or woman of genius from the southern hemisphere, +because the Lord didn't allow the right climate to fall upon the land. +It falls upon the water. There never was much civilization except where +there has been snow, and ordinarily decent Winter. You can't have +civilization without it. Where man needs no bedclothes but clouds, +revolution is the normal condition of such a people. It is the Winter +that gives us the home; it is the Winter that gives us the fireside and +the family relation and all the beautiful flowers of love that adorn +that relation. Civilization, liberty, justice, charity and intellectual +advancement are all flowers that bloom in the drifted snow. You can't +have them anywhere else, and that is the reason we of the north are +civilized, and that is the reason that civilization has always been with +Winter. That is the reason that philosophy has been here, and, in spite +of all our superstitions, we have advanced beyond some of the other +races, because we have had this assistance of nature, that drove us into +the family relation, that made us prudent; that made us lay up at one +time for another season of the year. So there is one excuse I have for +my race. + +I have got another. I think we came from the lower animals. I am not +dead sure of it, but think so. When I first read about it I didn't like +it. My heart was filled with sympathy for those people who have nothing +to be proud of except ancestors. I thought how terrible it will be upon +the nobility of the old world. Think of their being forced to trace +their ancestry back to the Duke Orang-Outang or to the Princess +Chimpanzee. After thinking it all over I came to the conclusion that I +liked that doctrine. I became convinced in spite of myself. I read +about rudimentary bones and muscles. I was told that everybody had +rudimentary muscles extending from the ear into the cheek. I asked: +"What are they?" I was told: "They are the remains of muscles; that +they became rudimentary from the lack of use." They went into +bankruptcy. They are the muscles with which your ancestors used to flap +their ears. Well, at first, I was greatly astonished, and afterward I +was more astonished to find they had become rudimentary. How can you +account for John Calvin unless we came up from the lower animals? How +could you account for a man that would use the extremes of torture +unless you admit that there is in man the elements of a snake, of a +vulture, a hyena, and a jackal? How can you account for the religious +creeds of today? How can you account for that infamous doctrine of +Hell, except with an animal origin? How can you account for your +conception of a God that would sell women and babes into slavery? + +Well, I thought that thing over and I began to like it after a while, +and I said: "It is not so much difference who my father was as who his +son is." And I finally said I would rather belong to a race that +commenced with the skull-less vertebrates in the dim Laurentian seas, +that wriggled without knowing why they wriggled, swimming without +knowing where they were going, that come along up by degrees through +millions of ages, through all that crawls, and swims, and floats, and +runs, and growls, and barks, and howls, until it struck this fellow in +the dug-out. And then that fellow in the dugout getting a little +grander, and each one below calling every one above him a heretic, +calling every one who had made a little advance an infidel or an +atheist, and finally the heads getting a little higher and looming up a +little grander and more splendidly, and finally produced Shakespeare, +who harvested all the field of dramatic thought and from whose day until +now there have been none but gleaners of chaff and straw. Shakespeare +was an intellectual ocean whose waves touched all the shores of human +thought, within which were all the tides and currents and pulses upon +which lay all the lights and shadows, and over which brooded all the +calms, and swept all the storms and tempests of which the soul is +capable. I would rather belong to that race that commenced with that +skull-less vertebrate; that produced Shakespeare, a race that has +before it an infinite future, with the angel of progress leaning from +the far horizon, beckoning men forward and upward forever. I would +rather belong to that race than to have descended from a perfect pair +upon which the Lord has lost money every moment from that day to this. + +Now, my crime has been this: I have insisted that the Bible is not the +word of God. I have insisted that we should not whip our children. I +have insisted that we should treat our wives as loving equals. I have +denied that God--if there is any God--ever upheld polygamy and slavery. +I have denied that that God ever told his generals to kill innocent +babes and tear and rip open women with the sword of war. I have denied +that and for that I have been assailed by the clergy of the United +States. They tell me I have misquoted; and I owe it to you, and maybe +I owe it to myself, to read one or two words to you upon this subject. +In order to do that I shall have to put on my glasses; and that brings +me back to where I started--that man has advanced just in proportion as +his thought has mingled with his labor. If man's eyes hadn't failed he +would never have made any spectacles, he would never have had the +telescope, and he would never have been able to read the leaves of +Heaven. + + + + + +COL. INGERSOLL'S REPLY TO DR. COLLYER. + + + +Now, they tell me--and there are several gentlemen who have spoken on +this subject--the Rev. Mr. Collyer, a gentleman standing as high as +anybody, and I have nothing to say against him--because I denounced God +who upheld murder, and slavery and polygamy, he said that what I said +was slang. I would like to have it compared with any sermon that ever +issued from the lips of that gentleman. And before he gets through he +admits that the Old Testament is a rotten tree that will soon fall into +the earth and act as a fertilizer for his doctrine. + +Is it honest in that man to assail my motive? Let him answer my +argument! Is it honest and fair in him to say I am doing a certain +thing because it is popular? Has it got to this, that, in this +Christian country, where they have preached every day hundreds and +thousands of sermons--has it got to this that infidelity is so popular +in the United States? + +If it has, I take courage. And I not only see the dawn of a brighter +day, but the day is here. Think of it! A minister tells me in this +year of grace, 1879, that a man is an infidel simply that he may be +popular. I am glad of it. Simply that he may make money. Is it +possible that we can make more money tearing up churches than in +building them up? Is it possible that we can make more money denouncing +the God of slavery than we can praising the God that took liberty from +man? If so, I am glad. + +I call publicly upon Robert Collyer--a man for whom I have great +respect--I call publicly upon Robert Collyer to state to the people of +this city whether he believes the Old Testament was inspired. I call +upon him to state whether he believes that God ever upheld these +institutions; whether God was a polygamist; whether he believes that +God commanded Moses or Joshua or any one else to slay little children in +the cradle. Do you believe that Robert Collyer would obey such an +order? Do you believe that he would rush to the cradle and drive the +knife of theological hatred to the tender heart of a dimpled child? And +yet when I denounce a God that will give such a hellish order, he says +it is slang. + +I want him to answer; and when he answers he will say he does not +believe the Bible is inspired. That is what he will say, and he holds +these old worthies in the same contempt that I do. Suppose he should +act like Abraham. Suppose he should send some woman out into the +wilderness with his child in her arms to starve, would he think that +mankind ought to hold up his name forever, for reverence. + +Robert Collyer says that we should read and scan every word of the Old +Testament with reverence; that we should take this book up with +reverential hands. I deny it. We should read it as we do every other +book, and everything good in it, keep it and everything that shocks the +brain and shocks the heart, throw it away. Let us be honest. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S REPLY TO PROF. SWING + + + +Prof. Swing has made a few remarks on this subject, and I say the spirit +he has exhibited has been as gentle and as sweet as the perfume of a +flower. He was too good a man to stay in the Presbyterian church. He +was a rose among thistles. He was a dove among vultures and they hunted +him out, and I am glad he came out. I tell all the churches to drive +all such men out, and when he comes I want him to state just what he +thinks. I want him to tell the people of Chicago whether he believes +the Bible is inspired in any sense except that in which Shakespeare was +inspired. Honor bright, I tell you that all the sweet and beautiful +things in the Bible would not make one play of Shakespeare; all the +philosophy in the world would not make one scene in Hamlet; all the +beauties of the Bible would not make one scene in the Midsummer Night's +Dream; all the beautiful things about woman in the Bible would not +begin to create such a character as Perditu or Imogene or Miranda. Not +one. + +I want him to tell whether he believes the Bible was inspired in any +other way than Shakespeare was inspired. I want him to pick out +something as beautiful and tender as Burns' poem to Mary in Heaven. I +want him to tell whether he believes the story about the bears eating up +children; whether that is inspired. I want him to tell whether he +considers that a poem or not. I want to know if the same God made those +bears that devoured the children because they laughed at an old man out +of hair. I want to know if the same God that did that is the same God +who said, "Suffer little children to come unto me, for such is the +kingdom of Heaven." I want him to answer it, and answer it fairly. +That is all I ask. I want just the fair thing. + +Now, sometimes Mr. Swing talks as though he believed the Bible, and then +he talks to me as though he didn't believe the Bible. The day he made +this sermon I think he did, just a little, believe it. He is like the +man that passed a ten dollar counterfeit bill. He was arrested and his +father went to see him and said, "John, how could you commit such a +crime? How could you bring my gray hairs in sorrow to the grave?" +"Well," he says, "father, I'll tell you. I got this bill and some days +I thought it was bad and some days I thought it was good, and one day +when I thought it was good I passed it." + +I want it distinctly understood that I have the greatest respect for +Prof. Swing, but I want him to tell whether the 109th psalm is inspired. +I want him to tell whether the passages I shall afterward read in this +book are inspired. That is what I want. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S REPLY TO BROOKE HERFORD, D.D. + + + +Then there is another gentleman here. His name is Herford. He says it +is not fair to apply the test of truth to the Bible--I don't think it is +myself. He says although Moses upheld slavery, that he improved it. +They were not quite so bad as they were before, and Heaven justified +slavery at that time. Do you believe that God ever turned the arms of +children into chains of slavery? Do you believe that God ever said to a +man: "You can't have your wife unless you will be a slave? You can not +have your children unless you will lose your liberty; and unless you +are willing to throw them from your heart forever, you can not be free?" +I want Mr. Herford to state whether he loves such a God. Be honor +bright about it. Don't begin to talk about civilization or what the +church has done or will do. Just walk right up to the rack and say +whether you love and worship a God that established slavery. Honest! +And love and worship a God that would allow a little babe to be torn +from the breast of its mother and sold into slavery. Now tell it fair, +Mr. Herford, I want you to tell the ladies in your congregation that you +believe in a God that allowed women to be given to the soldiers. Tell +them that, and then if you say it was not the God of Moses, then don't +praise Moses any more. Don't do it. Answer these questions. + + + + + +INGERSOLL GATLING GUN TURNED ON DR. RYDER + + + +Then here is another gentleman, Mr. Ryder, the Rev. Mr. Ryder, and he +says that Calvinism is rejected by a majority of Christendom. He is +mistaken. There is what they call the Evangelical Alliance. They met +in this country in 1875 or 1876, and there were present representatives +of all the evangelical churches in the world, and they adopted a creed, +and that creed is that man is totally depraved. That creed is that there +is an eternal, universal Hell, and that every man that does not believe +in a certain way is bound to be damned forever, and that there is only +one way to be saved, and that is by faith, and by faith alone; and they +would not allow anybody to be represented there that did not believe +that, and they would not allow a Unitarian there, and would not have +allowed Dr. Ryder there, because he takes away from the Christian world +the consolation naturally arising from the belief in Hell. + +Dr. Ryder is mistaken. All the orthodox religion of the day is +Calvinism. It believes in the fall of man. It believes in the +atonement. It believes in the eternity of Hell, and it believes in +salvation by faith; that is to say, by credulity. + +That is what they believe, and he is mistaken; and I want to tell Dr. +Kyder today, if there is a God, and He wrote the Old Testament, there is +a Hell. The God that wrote the Old Testament will have a Hell. And I +want to tell Dr. Ryder another thing, that the Bible teaches an eternity +of punishment. I want to tell him that the Bible upholds the doctrine +of Hell. I want to tell Him that if there is no Hell, somebody ought to +have said so, and Jesus Christ should not have said: "I will at the last +day say: 'Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire prepared for +the devil and his angels.'" If there was not such a place, Christ would +not have said: "Depart from me, ye cursed, and these shall go hence +into everlasting fire." And if you, Dr. Ryder, are depending for +salvation on the God that wrote the Old Testament, you will inevitably +be eternally damned. + +There is no hope for you. It is just as bad to deny Hell as it is to +deny Heaven. It is just as much blasphemy to deny the devil as to deny +God, according to the orthodox creed. He admits that the Jews were +polygamists, but, he says, how was it they finally quit it? I can tell +you--the soil was so poor they couldn't afford it. Prof. Swing says the +Bible is a poem, Dr. Ryder says it is a picture. The Garden of Eden is +pictorial; a pictorial snake and a pictorial woman, I suppose, and a +pictorial man, and maybe it was a pictorial sin. And only a pictorial +atonement. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S REPLY TO RABBI BIEN + + +Then there is another gentleman, and he a rabbi, a Rabbi Bien, or Bean, +or whatever his name is, and he comes to the defense of the Great Law- +giver. There was another rabbi who attacked me in Cincinnati, and I +couldn't help but think of the old saying that a man got off when he +said the tallest man he ever knew, his name was Short. And the fattest +man he ever saw, his name was Lean. And it is only necessary for me to +add that this rabbi in Cincinnati was Wise. + +The rabbi here, I will not answer him, and I will tell you why. Because +he has taken himself outside of all the limits of a gentleman; because +he has taken it upon himself to traduce American women in language the +beastliest I ever read; and any man who says that the American women +are not just as good women as any God can make and pick his mud today, +is an unappreciative barbarian. + +I will let him alone because he denounced all the men in this country, +all the members of Congress, all the members of the Senate, and all the +judges upon the Bench; in his lecture he denounced them as thieves and +robbers. That won't do. I want to remind him that in this country the +Jews were first admitted to the privileges of citizens; that in this +country they were first given all their rights, and I am as much in +favor of their having their rights as I am in favor of having my own. +But when a rabbi so far forgets himself as to traduce the women and men +of this country, I pronounce him a vulgar falsifier, and let him alone. + +Strange, that nearly every man that has answered me has answered me +mostly on the same side. Strange, that nearly every man that thought +himself called upon to defend the Bible was one who did not believe in +it himself. Isn't it strange? They are like some suspected people, +always anxious to show their marriage certificate. They want at least +to convince the world that they are not as bad as I am. + +Now, I want to read you just one or two things, and then I am going to +let you go. I want to see if I have said such awful things, and whether +I have got any scripture to stand by me. I will read only two or three +verses. Does the Bible teach man to enslave his brother? If it does, it +is not the word of God, unless God is a slaveholder. + +"Moreover, all the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, +of them shall ye buy of their families which are with you, which they +beget in your land, and they shall be your possession. Ye shall take +them as an inheritance for your children after you to inherit them. They +shall be your bondsmen forever."--(Old Testament.) + +Upon the limbs of unborn babes this fiendish God put the chains of +slavery. I hate him. + +"Both thy bondmen and bondwomen shall be of the heathen round about thee +and them shall ye buy, bondmen and bondwomen." + +Now let us read what the New Testament has. I could read a great deal +more, but that is enough. + +"Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters, according to the +flesh in fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto +Christ." + +This is putting the dirty thief that steals your labor on an equality +with God. + +"Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the +good and gentle but also to the froward." + +"For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure +grief, suffering wrongfully." + +The idea of a man on account of conscience toward God stealing another +man, or allowing him nothing but lashes on his back as legal-tender for +labor performed. + +"Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own masters +worthy of all honor, that the name of God and His doctrine be not +blasphemed." + +How can you blaspheme the name of God by asserting your independence? +How can you blaspheme the name of a God by striking fetters from the limbs +of men? I wish some of your ministers would tell you that. "And they +that have believing masters let them not despise them." That is to say, +a good Christian could own another believer in Jesus Christ; could own +a woman and her children, and could sell the child away from its mother. +That is a sweet belief. O, hypocrisy! + +"Let them not despise them because they are brethren, but rather do them +service because they are faithful and beloved, partakers of the +benefit." + +Oh, what slush! Here is what they will tell the poor slave, so that he +will serve the man that stole his wife and children from him: + +"For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry +nothing out. Having food and raiment let us be therewith content." + +Don't you think that it would do just as well to preach that to the +thieving man as to the suffering slave? I think so. Then this same +Bible teaches witchcraft, that spirits go into the bodies of the man, +and pigs, and that God himself made a trade with the devil, and the +devil traded him off--a man for a certain number of swine, and the devil +lost money because the hogs ran right down into the sea. He got a +corner on that deal. + +Now let us see how they believed in the rights of children: + +"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son which will not obey the +voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they +have chastened him, will not harken unto them, then shall his father and +his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his +city, and unto the gate of his place. And they shall say unto the +elders of his city, 'This, our son, is stubborn and rebellious, he will +not obey our voice, he is a glutton and a drunkard.' And all the men of +this city shall stone him with stones, that he die, so shalt thou put +evil away." + +That is a very good way to raise children. Here is the story of +Jephthah. He went off and he asked the Lord to let him whip some +people, and he told the Lord if He would let him whip them, he would +sacrifice to the Lord the first thing that met him on his return; and +the first thing that met him was his own beautiful daughter, and he +sacrificed her. Is there a sadder story in all history than that? What +do you think of a man that would sacrifice his own daughter? What do you +think of a God that would receive that sacrifice? Now, then, they come +to women in this blessed gospel, and let us see what the gospel says +about women. Then you ought all to go to church, girls, next Sunday and +hear it. "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection; but I +suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man, but to +be in silence for Adam was formed first, not Eve." + +Don't you see? + +"And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the +transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in child-bearing if +they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety." (That is +Mr. Timothy.) "But I would have you know that the head of every man is +Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is +God." + +I suppose that every old maid is acephalous. + +"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, for as much as he is the +image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man. For the +man is not of the woman, but woman of the man. Neither was the man +created for the woman, but the woman for the man." "Wives, submit +yourselves unto your own husband as unto the Lord, for the husband is +the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church." + +Do you hear that? You didn't know how much we were above you. When you +go back to the old testament, to the great law-giver, you find that the +woman has to ask forgiveness for having borne a child. If it was a boy, +thirty-three days she was unclean; if it was a girl, sixty-six. Nice +laws! Good laws! If there is a pure thing in this world, if there is a +picture of perfect purity, it is a mother with her child in her arms. +Yes, I think more of a good woman and a child than I do of all the gods +I have ever heard these people tell about. Just think of this: + +"When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy +God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them +captive, and seest among the captives a beautiful woman and hast a +desire unto her that thou wouldst have her to thy wife, then thou shalt +bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare +her nails." + +Wherefore, ye must needs be subject not only for wrath but for +conscience sake. "For this cause pay you tribute also, for they are +God's ministers." + +I despise this wretched doctrine. Wherever the sword of rebellion is +drawn in favor of the right, I am a rebel. I suppose Alexander, czar of +Russia, was put there by the order of God, was he? I am sorry he was +not removed by the nihilist that shot at him the other day. + +I tell you, in a country like that, where there are hundreds of girls +not 16 years of age prisoners in Siberia, simply for giving their ideas +about liberty, and we telegraphed to that country, congratulating that +wretch that he was not killed, my heart goes into the prison, my heart +goes with the poor girl working as a miner in the mines, crawling on her +hands and knees getting the precious ore out of the mines, and my +sympathies go with her, and my sympathies cluster around the point of +the dagger. + +Does the bible describe a god of mercy? Let me read you a verse or two: + +"I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour +flesh." "Thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies, and the +tongue of thy dogs in the same." + +"And the Lord thy God will put out those nations before thee by little +and little; thou mayest not consume them at once, lest the beasts of +the field increase upon thee. + +"But the Lord thy God shall deliver them unto thee, and shall destroy +them with a mighty destruction, until they be destroyed." + +"And he shall deliver their kings into thine hand, and thou shalt +destroy their name from under heaven; there shall no man be able to +stand before thee, until thou have destroyed them." + +I can see what he had her nails pared for. Does the bible teach +polygamy? The Rev. Dr. Newman, consul general to all the world--had a +discussion with Elder Heber of Kimball, or some such wretch in Utah-- +whether the bible sustains polygamy, and the Mormons have printed that +discussion as a campaign document. Read the order of Moses in the 31st +chapter of Numbers. A great many chapters I dare not read to you. They +are too filthy. I leave all that to the clergy. Read the 31st chapter +of Exodus, the 31st chapter of Deuteronomy, the life of Abraham, and the +life of David, and the life of Solomon, and then tell me that the bible +does not uphold polygamy and concubinage! + +Let them answer. Then I said that the bible upheld tyranny. Let me +read you a little: "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. +For there is no power but of God. The powers that be are ordained of +God." + +George III was king by the grace of God, and when our fathers rose in +rebellion, according to this doctrine, they rose against the power of +God; and if they did they were successful. + +And so it goes on, telling of all the cities that were destroyed, and of +the great-hearted men, that they dashed their brains out, and all the +little babes, and all the sweet women that they killed and plundered-- +all in the name of a most merciful God. Well, think of it! The Old +Testament is filled with anathemas, and with curses, and with words of +revenge, and jealousy, and hatred, and meanness, and brutality. Have I +read enough to show that what I said is so? I think I have. I wish I +had time to read to you further of what the dear old fathers of the +church said about woman--wait a minute, and I will read you a little. +We have got them running. St. Augustine in his 22d book says: "A woman +ought to serve her husband as unto God, affirming that woman ought to be +braced and bridled betimes, if she aspire to any dominion, alleging that +dangerous and perilous it is to suffer her to precede, although it be in +temporal and corporeal things. How can woman be in the image of God, +seeing she is subject to man, and hath no authority to teach, neither to +be a witness, neither to judge, much less to rule or bear the rod of +empire." + +Oh, he is a good one. These are the very words of Augustine. Let me +read some more. "Woman shall be subject unto man as unto Christ." That +is St. Augustine, and this sentence of Augustine ought to be noted of +all women, for in it he plainly affirms that women are all the more +subject to man. And now, St. Ambrose, he is a good boy. "Adam was +deceived by Eve--called Heva--and not Heva by Adam, and therefore just +it is that woman receive and acknowledge him for governor whom she +called sin, lest that again she slip and fall with womanly facility. +Don't you see that woman has sinned once, and man never? If you give +woman an opportunity, she will sin again, whereas if you give it to man, +who never, never betrayed his trust in the world, nothing bad can +happen. Let women be subject to their own husbands as unto the Lord, +for man is the head of woman, and Christ is the head of the +congregation." They are all real good men, all of them. "It is not +permitted to woman to speak; let her be in silence; as the law said: +unto thy husband shalt thou ever be, and he shall bear dominion over +thee." + +So St. Chrysostom. He is another good man. "Woman," he says, "was put +under the power of man, and man was pronounced lord over her; that she +should obey man, that the head should not follow the feet. False +priests do commonly deceive women, because they are easily persuaded to +any opinion,--especially if it be again given, and because they lack +prudence and right reason to judge the things that be spoken; which +should not be the nature of those that are appointed to govern others. +For they should be constant, stable, prudent, and doing everything with +discretion and reason, which virtues woman can not have in equality with +man." + +I tell you women are more prudent than men. I tell you, as a rule, +women are more truthful than men. I tell you that women are more +faithful than men--ten times as faithful as man. I never saw a man +pursue his wife into the very ditch and dust of degradation and take her +in his arms. I never saw a man stand at the shore where she had been +morally wrecked, waiting for the waves to bring back even her corpse to +his arms but I have seen woman do it. I have seen woman with her white +arms lift man from the mire of degradation, and hold him to her bosom as +though he were an angel. + +And these men thought woman not fit to be held as pure in the sight of +God as man. I never saw a man that pretended that he didn't love a +woman; that pretended that he loved God better than he did a woman, +that he didn't look hateful to me, hateful and unclean. I could read +you twenty others, but I haven't time to do it. They are all to the +same effect exactly. They hate woman, and say man is as much above her +as God is above man. I am a believer in absolute equality. I am a +believer in absolute liberty between man and wife. I believe in liberty, +and I say, "Oh, liberty, float not forever in the far horizon--remain +not forever in the dream of the enthusiast, the philanthropist and poet; +but come and make thy home among the children of men." + +I know not what discoveries, what inventions, what thoughts may leap +from the brain of the world. I know not what garments of glory may be +woven by the years to come. I can not dream of the victories to be won. +I do know that, coming upon the field of thought; but down the infinite +sea of the future, there will never touch this "bank and shoal of time" +a richer gift, a rarer blessing than liberty for man, woman and child. + +I never addressed a more magnificent audience in my life, and I thank +you, I thank you a thousand times over. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S CATECHISM AND BIBLE-CLASS + + + +Nothing is more gratifying than to see ideas that were received with +scorn, flourishing in the sunshine of approval. Only a few weeks ago I +stated that the Bible was not inspired; that Moses was mistaken, that +the "flood" was a foolish myth; that the Tower of Babel existed only in +credulity; that God did not create the universe from nothing, that He +did not start the first woman with a rib; that He never upheld slavery; +that He was not a polygamist; that He did not kill people for making +hair-oil, that He did not order His Generals to kill the dimpled babes; +that He did not allow the roses of love and the violets of modesty to be +trodden under the brutal feet of lust; that the Hebrew language was +written without vowels; that the Bible was composed of many books +written by unknown men; that all translations differed from each other, +and that this book had filled the world with agony and crime. + +At that time I had not the remotest idea that the most learned clergymen +in Chicago would substantially agree with me--in public. I have read the +replies of the Rev. Robert Collyer, Dr. Thomas, Rabbi Kohler, Rev. +Brooke Herford, Prof. Swing, and Dr. Ryder, and will now ask them a few +questions, answering them in their own words. + + +First, REV. ROBERT COLLYER: + +Question. What is your opinion of the Bible? Answer. "It is a +splendid book. It makes the noblest type of Catholics and the meanest +bigots. Through this book men give their hearts for good to God, or for +evil to the Devil. The best argument for the intrinsic greatness of the +book is that it can touch such wide extremes, and seem to maintain us in +the most unparalleled cruelty, as well as the most tender mercy; that +it can inspire purity like that of the great saints and afford arguments +in favor of polygamy. The Bible is the text book of ironclad Calvinism +and sunny Universalism. It makes the Quaker quiet and the Millerite +crazy. It inspired the Union soldier to live and grandly die for the +right, and Stonewall Jackson to live nobly and die grandly for the +wrong." + +Q. But, Mr. Collyer, do you really think that a book with as many +passages in favor of wrong as right, is inspired? A. I look upon the +Old Testament as a rotting tree. When it falls it will fertilize a bank +of violets. + +Q. Do you believe that God upheld slavery and polygamy? Do you +believe that He ordered the killing of babes and the violation of +maidens? A. "There is three-fold inspiration in the Bible, the first +peerless and perfect, the Word of God to man;--the second simply and +purely human, and then below this again, there is an inspiration born of +an evil heart, ruthless and savage there and then as anything well can +be. A three-fold inspiration, of Heaven first, then of the Earth, and +then of Hell, all in the same book, all sometimes in the same chapter, +and then, besides, a great many things that need no inspiration." + +Q. Then, after all, you do not pretend that the Scriptures are really +inspired? A. "The Scriptures make no such claim for themselves as the +Church make's for them. They leave me free to say this is false, or +this is true. The truth even within the Bible dies and lives, makes on +this side and loses on that." + +Q. What do you say to the last verse in the Bible, where a curse is +threatened to any man who takes from or adds to the book? A. "I have +but one answer to this question, and it is: Let who will have written +this, I can not for an instant believe that it was written by a divine +inspiration. Such dogmas and threats as these are not of God, but of +man, and not of any man of a free spirit and heart eager for the truth, +but a narrow man who would cripple and confine the human soul in its +quest after the whole truth of God, and back those who have done the +shameful things in the name of the Most High." + +Q. Do you not regard such talk as slang? + +(Supposed) Answer. If an infidel had said that the writer of +Revelations was narrow and bigoted, I might have denounced his discourse +as "slang," but I think that Unitarian ministers can do so with the +greatest propriety. + +Q. Do you believe in the stories of the Bible, about Jael, and the sun +standing still, and the walls falling at the blowing of horns? A. "They +may be legends, myths, poems, or what they will, but they are not the +Word of God. So I say again, it was not the God and Father of us all +who inspired the woman to drive that nail crashing through the king's +temple after she had given him that bowl of milk and bid him sleep in +safety, but a very mean Devil of hatred and revenge that I should hardly +expect to find in a squaw on the plains. It was not the ram's horns and +the shouting before which the walls fell flat. If they went down at +all, it was through good solid pounding. And not for an instant did the +steady sun stand still or let his planet stand still while barbarian +fought barbarian. He kept just the time then he keeps now. They might +believe it who made the record. I do not. And since the whole +Christian world might believe it, still we do not who gather in this +church. A free and reasonable mind stands right in our way. Newton +might believe it as a Christian and disbelieve it as a philosopher. We +stand then with the philosopher against the Christian, for we must +believe what is true to us in the last test, and these things are not +true." + + +SECOND, REV. DR. THOMAS. + +Question. What is your opinion of the Old Testament? Answer. "My +opinion is that it is not one book, but many--thirty-nine books bound up +in one. The date and authorship of most of these books are wholly +unknown. The Hebrews wrote without vowels and without dividing the +letters into syllables, words or sentences. The books were gathered up +by Ezra. At that time only two of the Jewish tribes remained. All +progress had ceased. In gathering up the sacred book, copyists +exercised great liberty in making changes and additions." + +Q. Yes, we know all that, but is the Old Testament inspired? A. "There +maybe the inspiration of art, of poetry, or oratory; of patriotism--and +there are such inspirations. There are moments when great truths and +principles come to men. They seek the man and not the man them." + +Q. Yes, we will admit that, but is the Bible inspired? A. "But still +I know of no way to convince any one of spirit and inspiration and God +only as His reason may take hold of these things." + +Q. Do you think the Old Testament true? A. "The story of Eden may be +an allegory; the history of the children of Israel may have mistakes." + +Q. Must inspiration claim infallibility? A. "It is a mistake to say +that if you believe one part of the Bible you must believe all. Some of +the thirty-nine books may be inspired, others not; or there may be +degrees of inspiration." + +Q. Do you believe that God commanded the soldiers to kill the children +and the married women and save for themselves the maidens, as recorded +in Numbers 31:2? Do you believe that God upheld slavery? Do you +believe that God upheld polygamy? A. "The Bible may be wrong in some +statements. God and right can not be wrong. We must not exalt the +Bible above God. It may be that we have claimed too much for the Bible, +and thereby given not a little occasion for such men as Mr. Ingersoll to +appear at the other extreme, denying too much." + +Q. What then shall be done? A. "We must take a middle ground. It is +not necessary to believe that the bears devoured the forty-two children, +nor that Jonah was swallowed by the whale." + + +THIRD, REV. DR. KOHLER. + +Question. What is your opinion about the Old Testament? Answer. "I +will not make futile attempts of artificially interpreting the letter of +the Bible so as to make it reflect the philosophical, moral and +scientific views of our time. The Bible is a sacred record of +humanity's childhood." + +Q. Are you an orthodox Christian? A. "No. Orthodoxy, with its face +turned backward to a ruined temple or a dead Messiah, is fast becoming +like Lot's wife, a pillar of salt." + +Q. Do you really believe the Old Testament was inspired? A. "I +greatly acknowledge our indebtedness to men like Voltaire and Thomas +Paine, whose bold denial and cutting wit were so instrumental in +bringing about this glorious era of freedom, so congenial and blissful, +particularly to the long-abused Jewish race." + +Q. Do you believe in the inspiration of the Bible? A. "Of course +there is a destructive ax needed to strike down the old building in +order to make room for the grander new. The divine origin claimed by +the Hebrews for their national literature was claimed by all nations for +their old records and laws as preserved by the priesthood. As Moses-- +the Hebrew law giver, is represented as having received the law from God +on the holy mountains, so is Zoroaster, the Persian, Manu, the Hindoo, +Minos, the Cretan, Lycurgus, the Spartan, and Numa, the Roman." + +Q. Do you believe all the stories in the Bible? A. "All that can and +must be said against them is that they have been too long retained +around the arms and limbs of grown-up manhood to check the spiritual +progress of religion; that by Jewish ritualism and Christian dogmatism +they became fetters unto the soul, turning the light of heaven into a +misty haze to blind the eye, and even into a Hell fire of fanaticism to +consume souls." + +Q. Is the Bible inspired? A. "True, the Bible is not free from +errors, nor is any work of man and time. It abounds in childish views +and offensive matters. I trust it will, in a time not far off, be +presented for common use in families, schools, synagogues and churches, +in a refined shape, cleansed from all dross and chaff, and stumbling- +blocks on which the scoffer delights to dwell." + + +FOURTH, REV. MR. HERFORD. + +Question. Is the Bible true? Answer. "Ingersoll is very fond of +saying 'The question is not, is the Bible inspired, but is it true?' +That sounds very plausible, but you know as applied to any ancient book +it is simply nonsense." + +Q. Do you think the stories in the Bible exaggerated? A. "I dare say +the numbers are immensely exaggerated." + +Q. Do you think that God upheld polygamy? A. "The truth of which +simply is, that four thousand years ago polygamy existed among the Jews, +as everywhere else on earth then, and even their prophets did not come +to the idea of its being wrong. But what is there to be indignant about +in that? And so you really wonder why any man should be indignant at +the idea that God upheld and sanctioned that beastliness called +polygamy? What is there to be indignant about in that?" + + +FIFTH, PROF. SWING. + +Question. What is your idea of the Bible? Answer. "I think it a +poem." + + +SIXTH, REV. DR. RYDER. + +Question. And what is your idea of the sacred Scriptures? Answer. +"Like other nations, the Hebrews had their patriotic, descriptive, +didactic and lyrical poems in the same varieties as other nations; but +with them, unlike other nations, whatever may be the form of their +poetry, it always possesses the characteristic of religion." + +Q. I suppose you fully appreciate the religious characteristics of the +Song of Solomon? No answer. + +Q. Does the Bible uphold polygamy? A. "The law of Moses did not +forbid it, but contained many provisions against its worst abuses, and +such as were intended to restrict it within narrow limits." + +Q. So you think God corrected some of the worst abuses of polygamy, but +preserved the institution itself? + +I might question many others, but have concluded not to consider those +as members of my Bible class who deal in calumnies and epithets. From +the so-called "replies" of such ministers it appears that, while +Christianity changes the heart, it does not improve the manners, and +one can get into Heaven in the next world without having been a +gentleman in this. + +It is difficult for me to express the deep and thrilling satisfaction I +have experienced in reading the admissions of the clergy of Chicago. +Surely the battle of intellectual liberty is almost won when ministers +admit that the Bible is filled with ignorant and cruel mistakes; that +each man has the right to think for himself, and that it is not +necessary to believe the Scriptures in order to be saved. + +From the bottom of my heart, I congratulate my pupils on the advance +they have made, and hope soon to meet them on the serene heights of +perfect freedom. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S NEW DEPARTURE--His Lecture Entitled "What Shall We do to be +Saved?"--Delivered in McVicker's Theatre, Chicago, Sept. 19, 1880 [From +the Chicago Times. Verbatim Report.] + + + +Ladies and Gentlemen: Fear is the dungeon of the mind, and superstition +is a dagger with which hypocrisy assassinates the soul. Courage is +liberty. I am in favor of absolute freedom of thought. In the realm of +the mind every one is monarch. Every one is robed, sceptered, and +crowned, and every one wears the purple of authority. I belong to the +republic of intellectual liberty, and only those are good citizens of +that republic who depend upon reason and upon persuasion, and only those +are traitors who resort to brute force. + +Now, I beg of you all to forget just for a few moments that you are +Methodists, or Baptists, or Catholics, or Presbyterians, and let us for +an hour or two remember only that we are men and women. And allow me to +say "man" and "woman" are the highest titles that can be bestowed upon +humanity. "Man" and "woman." And let us if possible banish all fear +from the mind. Do not imagine that there is some being in the infinite +expanse who is not willing that every man and woman should think for +himself and herself. Do not imagine that there is any being who would +give to his children the holy torch of reason and then damn them for +following where the holy light led. Let us have courage. + +Priests have invented a crime called "blasphemy," and behind that crime +hypocrisy has crouched for thousands of years. There is but one +blasphemy, and that is injustice. There is but one worship, and that is +justice. + +You need not fear the anger of a God whom you cannot injure. Rather +fear to injure your fellow-men. Do not be afraid of a crime you cannot +commit. Rather be afraid of the one that you may commit. + +There was a Jewish gentleman went into a restaurant to get his dinner, +and the devil of temptation whispered in his ear: "Eat some bacon." + +He knew if there was anything in the universe calculated to excite the +wrath of the Infinite Being, who made every shining star, it was to see +a gentleman eating bacon. He knew it, and He knew the Infinite Being +was looking, and that he was the Infinite Eaves-dropper of the universe. +But his appetite got the better of his conscience, as it often has with +us all, and he ate that bacon. He knew it was wrong. When he went into +that restaurant the weather was delightful, the sky was as blue as June, +and when he came out the sky was covered with angry clouds, the +lightning leaping from one to the other, and the earth shaking beneath +the voice of the thunder. He went back into that restaurant with a face +as white as milk, and he said to one of the keepers: + +"My God, did you ever hear such a fuss about a little piece of bacon?" + +As long as we harbor such opinions of Infinity; as long as we imagine +the heavens to be filled with such tyranny, so long the sons of men will +be cringing, intellectual cowards. Let us think, and let us honestly +express our thought. + +Do not imagine for a moment that I think people who disagree with me are +bad people. I admit, and I cheerfully admit, that a very large +proportion of mankind and a very large majority, a vast number, are +reasonably honest. I believe that most Christians believe what they +teach; that most ministers are endeavoring to make this world better. +I do not pretend to be better than they are. It is an intellectual +question. It is a question, first, of intellectual liberty, and after +that, a question to be settled at the bar of human reason. I do not +pretend to be better than the are. Probably I am a good deal worse than +many of them, but that is not the question. The question is "Bad as I +am, have I a right to think?" And I think I have, for two reasons. + +First, I can't help it. And secondly, I like it. The whole question is +right at a point. If I have not a right to express my thoughts, who +has? + +"Oh," they say, "we will allow you, we will not burn you." + +"All right; why won't you burn me?" + +"Because we think a decent man will allow others to think and express +his thought." + +"Then the reason you do not persecute me for my thought is that you +believe it would be infamous in you!" + +"Yes." + +"And yet you worship a God who will, all you declare, punish me +forever." + +The next question then is: Can I commit a sin against God by thinking? +If God did not intend I should think, why did He give me a "thinker." +Now, then, we have got what they call the Christian system of religion, +and thousands of people wonder how I can be wicked enough to attack that +system. + +There are many good things about it, and I shall never attack anything +that I believe to be good! I shall never fear to attack anything I +honestly believe to be wrong. We have, I say, what they call the +Christian religion, and, I find, just in proportion that nations have +been religious, just in the proportion they have gone back to barbarism. +I find that Spain, Portugal, Italy are the three worst nations in +Europe; I find that the nation nearest infidel is the most prosperous +France. And so I say there can be no danger in the exercise of absolute +intellectual freedom. I find among ourselves the men who think at least +as good as those who do not. We have, I say, a Christian system, and +that is founded upon what they are pleased to call system the "New +Testament." Who wrote the New Testament? I don't know. Who does know? +Nobody! + +We have found some fifty-two manuscripts containing portions of the New +Testament. Some of those manuscripts leave out five or six books--many +of them. Others more others less. No two of these manuscripts agree. +Nobody knows who wrote these manuscripts. They are all written in +Greek; the disciples of Christ knew only Hebrew. Nobody ever saw, so +far as we know, one of the original Hebrew manuscripts. Nobody ever saw +anybody who had seen anybody who had heard of anybody that had seen +anybody that had ever seen one of the original Hebrew manuscripts. No +doubt the clergy of your city have told you these facts thousands of +times, and they will be obliged to me for having repeated them once +more. These manuscripts are written in what are called capital Greek +letters. They are called Uncial characters; and the New Testament was +not divided into chapters and verses, even, until the year of grace +1551. Recollect it. + +In the original the manuscripts and gospels are signed by nobody. The +epistles are addressed to nobody; and they are signed by the same +person. All the addresses, all the pretended earmarks showing to whom +they are written and by whom they are written are simply interpolations, +and everybody who has studied the subject knows it. + +It is further admitted that even these manuscripts have not been +properly translated, and they have a syndicate now making a new +translation; and I suppose that I cannot tell whether I really believe +the Testament or not until I see that new translation. + +You must remember, also, one other thing. Christ never wrote a solitary +word of the New Testament--not one word. There is an account that He +once stooped and wrote something in the sand, but that has not been +preserved. He never told anybody to write a word. He never said: +"Matthew, remember this. Mark, don't forget to put that down. Luke, be +sure that in your gospel you have this. John, don't forget it." Not +one word. And it has always seemed to me that a Being coming from +another world, with a message of infinite importance to mankind, should +at least have verified that message by his own signature. + +Why was nothing written? I will tell you. In my judgment they expected +the end of the world in a very few days. That generation was not to +pass away until the heavens should be rolled up as a scroll, and until +the earth should melt with fervent heat. That was their belief. They +believed that the world was to be destroyed, and that there was to be +another coming, and that the saints were then to govern the world. And +they even went so far among the Apostles, as we frequently do now before +election, as to divide out the offices in advance. This Testament was +not written for hundreds of years after the Apostles were dust. These +facts lived in the open mouth of credulity. They were in the +wastebaskets of forgetfulness. They depended upon the inaccuracy of +legend, and for centuries these doctrines and stories were blown about +by the inconstant winds. And finally, when reduced to writing, some +gentleman would write by the side of the passage his idea of it, and the +next copyist would put that in as a part of the text. And, finally, +when it was made, and the Church got in trouble, and wanted a passage to +help it out, one was interpolated to order. So that now it is among the +easiest things in the world to pick out at least one hundred +interpolations in the Testament. And I will pick some of them out +before I get through. + +And let me say here, once for all, that for the man Christ I have +infinite respect. Let me say, once for all, that the place where man +has died for man is holy ground; and let me say, once for all, to that +great and serene man I gladly pay the homage of my admiration and my +tears. He was a reformer in His day. He was an infidel in His time. +He was regarded as a blasphemer, and His life was destroyed by +hypocrites, who have, in all ages, done what they could to trample +freedom out of the human mind. Had I lived at that time I would have +been His friend, and should He come again He would not find a better +friend than I will be. + +That is for the man. For the theological creation I have a different +feeling. If He was, in fact, God, He knew that there was no such thing +as death. He knew that what we call death was but the eternal opening +of the golden gates of everlasting joy; and it took no heroism to face +a death that was simply eternal life. + +But when a man, when a poor boy sixteen years of age, goes upon the +field of battle to keep his flag in heaven, not knowing but that death +ends all--not knowing but that, when the shadows creep over him, the +darkness will be eternal--there is heroism. + +And so for the man who, in the darkness, said: "My God, why hast Thou +forsaken Me?"--for that man I have nothing but respect, admiration, and +love. + +A while ago I made up my mind to find out what was necessary for me to +do in order to be saved. If I have got a soul, I want it saved. I do +not wish to lose anything that is of value. For thousands of years the +world has been asking that question "What shall we do to be saved?" + +Saved from poverty? No. Saved from crime? No. Tyranny? No. But +"What shall we do to be saved from the eternal wrath of the God who made +us all?" + +If God made us, He will not destroy us. Infinite wisdom never made a +poor investment. And upon all the works of an infinite God, a dividend +must finally be declared. The pulpit has cast a shadow over even the +cradle. The doctrine of endless punishment has covered the cheeks of +this world with tears. I despise it, and I defy it. + +I made up my mind, I say, to see what I had to do in order to save my +soul according to the Testament, and thereupon I read it. I read the +gospel, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. But I found that the Church had +been deceiving me. I found that the clergy did not understand their own +book. I found that they had been building upon passages that had been +interpolated. I found that they had been building upon passages that +were entirely untrue. And I will tell you why I think so. + +The first of these gospels was written by St. Matthew, according to the +claim. Of course he never wrote a word of it. Never saw it. Never +heard of it. But, for the purpose of this lecture, I will admit that he +wrote it. I will admit that he was with Christ for three years, that he +heard much of His conversation during that time and that he became +impregnated with the doctrines, or dogmas, and the ideas of Jesus +Christ. + +Now let us see what Matthew says we must do in order to be saved. And I +take it that, if this be true, Matthew is as good an authority as any +minister in the world. + +The first thing I find upon the subject of salvation is in the fifth +chapter of Matthew, and is embraced in what is commonly known as the +sermon on the Mount. It is as follows: + +"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." +Good! + +"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Good! Whether +they belonged to any church or not; whether they believed the Bible or +not. + +"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Good! + +"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the +peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are +they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake," (that's me, little) +"for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven." + +In the same sermon he says: "Think not that I am come to destroy the +law or the prophets. I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill." And then +he makes use of this remarkable language, almost as applicable today as +it was then: "For I say unto you that except your righteousness shall +exceed the righteousness of the Scribes and Pharisees ye shall in no +wise enter the kingdom of Heaven." Good! + +In the sixth chapter I find the following, and it comes directly after +the prayer known as the Lord's prayer: "For if you forgive men their +trespasses your Heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if ye forgive +not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your +trespasses." I accept the conditions. There is an offer; I accept it. +If you will forgive men that trespass against you, God will forgive your +trespasses against Him. I accept, and I never will ask any God to treat +me any better than I treat my fellowmen. There is a square promise. +There is a contract. If you will forgive others, God will forgive you. +And it does not say you must believe in the Old Testament, nor be +baptized, nor join the Church, nor keep Sunday. It simply says, if you +forgive others God will forgive you; and it must be true. No God could +afford to damn a forgiving man. (A voice: "Will He forgive +Democrats?") Oh, certainly. Let me say right here that I know lots of +Democrats, great, broad, whole-souled, clever men, and I love them. And +the only bad thing about them is that they vote the Democratic ticket. +And I know lots of Republicans so mean and narrow that the only decent +thing about them is that they vote the Republican ticket. + +Now let me make myself plain upon that subject, perfectly plain. For +instance, I hate Presbyterianism, but I know hundreds of splendid +Presbyterians. Understand me. I hate Methodism, and yet I know +hundreds of splendid Methodists. I dislike a certain set of principles +called Democracy, and yet I know thousands of Democrats that I respect +and like. I like a certain set of principles--that is, most of them,-- +called Republicanism, and yet I know lots of Republicans that are a +disgrace to those principles. + +I do not war against men. I do not war against persons. I war against +certain doctrines that I believe to be wrong. And I give to every other +human being every right that I claim for myself. Of course I did not +intend today to tell what we must do in the election for the purpose of +being saved. + +The next thing that I find is in the seventh chapter and the second +verse: "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with +what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." Good! That +suits me! + +And in the twelfth chapter of Matthew: "For whosoever shall do the will +of my Father that is in Heaven, the same is my brother and sister and +mother. For the Son of Man shall come in the glory of His Father with +His angels, and then He shall reward every man according--" To the +church he belongs to? No. To the manner in which he was baptized? No. +According to his creed? No. "Then he shall reward every man according +to his works." Good! I subscribe to that doctrine. + +And in the sixteenth chapter: "And Jesus called a little child to Him +and stood him in the midst, and said: 'Verily, I say unto you, except +ye become converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter +into the Kingdom of Heaven.'" I do not wonder that a reformer in His +day that met the Scribes and Pharisees and hypocrites, I do not wonder +that at last He turned to children and said: "Except ye become as +little children," I do not wonder. And yet, see what children the +children of God have been. What an interesting dimpled darling John +Calvin was. Think of that prattling babe known as Jonathan Edwards! +Think of the infants that founded the Inquisition, that invented +instruments of torture to tear human flesh. They were the ones who had +become as little children. + +So I find in the nineteenth chapter: "And behold, one came and said +unto Him: 'Good master, what good thing shall I do in order to inherit +eternal life?' And He said unto him, 'why callest thou Me good? There +is none good but one, and that is God, but if thou will enter into +eternal life, keep the commandments,' and he said unto Him, 'Which?'" + +Now, there is a pretty fair issue. Here is a child of God asking God +what is necessary for him to do in order to inherit eternal life. And +God says to him: Keep the commandments. And the child said to the +Almighty: "Which?" Now if there ever had been an opportunity given to +the Almighty to furnish a gentleman with an inquiring mind with the +necessary information upon that subject, here was the opportunity. He +said unto Him, 'which?' And Jesus said: "Thou shalt do no murder; +thou shalt not commit adultery; thou shalt not steal; thou shalt not +bear false witness; honor thy father and mother; and, thou shalt love +thy neighbor as thyself." He did not say to him: "You must believe in +Me--that I am the only begotten Son of the living God." He did not say: +"You must be born again." He did not say: "You must believe the Bible." +He did not say: "You must remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy." +He simply said: "Thou shalt do no murder. Thou shalt not commit +adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness. +Honor thy father and thy mother; and, thou shalt love thy neighbor as +thyself." And thereupon the young man, who I think was a little +"fresh," and probably mistaken, said unto Him: "All these things have I +kept from my youth up." I don't believe that. + +Now comes in an interpolation. In the old times when the Church got a +little scarce for money, they always put in a passage praising poverty. +So they had this young man ask: "What lack I yet?" And Jesus said unto +him: "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast and give it +to the poor, and thou shalt have treasures in heaven." The Church has +always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down. + +And when the next verse was written the Church must have been nearly +dead-broke. "And again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go +through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the +kingdom of God." Did you ever know a wealthy disciple to unload on +account of that verse? + +And then comes another verse, which I believe is an interpolation: "And +every one that has forsaken houses, or brethren or sisters, or father or +mother, or wife or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive +an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life." Christ never said +it. Never. "Whosoever shall forsake father and mother." Why He said +to this man who asked him "What shall I do to inherit eternal life?" +among other things, He said "Honor thy father and thy mother." And we +turn over the page and He says: "If you will desert your father and +your mother you shall have everlasting life." It won't do. If you +desert your wife and your little children, or your lands--the idea of +putting a house and lot on equality with wife and children. Think of +that! I do not accept the terms. I will never desert the one I love +for the promise of any God. + +It is far more important that we shall love our wives than that we shall +love God. And I will tell you why you cannot help Him. You can help +her. You can fill her life with the perfume of perpetual joy. It is +far more important that you love your children than that you love Jesus +Christ.--And why? If He is God you cannot help Him, but you can plant a +little flower of happiness in every footstep of the child, from the +cradle until you die in that child's arms. Let me tell you to-day, it +is far more important to build a home than to erect a church. The +holiest temple beneath the stars is a home that love has built. And the +holiest altar in all the wide world is the fireside around which gather +father and mother and children. + +There was a time when people believed that infamy. There was a time +when they did desert fathers; and mothers, and wives and children. St. +Augustine says to the devotee: "Fly to the desert, and though your wife +put her arms around your neck, tear her hands away; she is a temptation +of the devil. Though your father and mother throw their bodies athwart +your threshold, step over them; and though your children pursue and +with weeping eyes beseech you to return, listen not. It is the +temptation of the evil one. Fly to the desert and save your soul." +Think of such a soul being worth saving. While I live I propose to stand +by the folks. + +Here there is another condition of salvation. I find it in the 25th +chapter: "Then shall the King say unto them on His right hand, 'Come, +ye blessed of my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the +foundation of the world. For I was a hungered and ye gave Me meat; I was +thirsty and ye gave Me drink; I was a stranger and ye took Me in; +naked and ye clothed Me; and I was sick and ye visited Me; and I was +in prison, and ye came unto me." Good! And I tell you tonight that God +will not punish with eternal thirst the man who has put the cup of cold +water to the lips of his neighbor. God will not allow to live in +eternal nakedness of pain the man who has clothed others. + +For instance, here is a shipwreck, and here is some brave sailor stands +aside and allows a woman whom he never saw before to take his place in +the boat, and he stands there, grand and serene as the wide sea, and he +goes down. Do you tell me there is any God who will push the life-boat +from the shore of eternal life, when that man wishes to step in? Do you +tell me that God can be unpitying to the pitiful, that He can be +unforgiving to the forgiving? I deny it; and from the aspersions of +the pulpit I seek to rescue the reputation of the Deity. + +Now, I have read you everything in Matthew on the subject of salvation. +That is all there is. Not one word about believing anything. It is the +gospel of deed, the gospel of charity, the gospel of self-denial; and if +only that gospel had been preached, persecution never would have shed +one drop of blood. Not one. Now, according to the testimony, Matthew +was well acquainted with Christ. According to the testimony, he had +been with Him, and His companion for years, and if it was necessary to +believe anything in order to get to heaven, Matthew should have told us. +But he forgot it. Or he didn't believe it. Or he never heard of it. +You can take your choice. + +The next is Mark. Now let us see what he says. And for the purpose of +this lecture it is sufficient for me to say that Mark agrees, +substantially, with Matthew, that God will be merciful to the merciful; +that He will be kind to the kind that He will pity the pitying. And it +is precisely, or substantially, the same as Matthew until I come to the +16th verse of the 16th chapter, and then I strike an interpolation, put +in by hypocrisy, put in by priests, who longed to grasp with bloody +hands the sceptre of universal authority. + +Let me read it to you. And it is the most infamous passage in the +Bible. Christ never said it. No sensible man ever said it. "And He +said unto them"--that is, unto His disciples--"Go ye into all the world +and preach the gospel to every creature. He that believeth and is +baptized shall be saved, and he that believeth not shall be damned." + +Now, I propose to prove to you that that is an interpolation. Now how +will I do it? In the first place, not one word is said about belief in +Matthew. In the next place, not one word is said about belief in Mark, +until I come to that verse. And when is that said to have been spoken? +According to Mark, it is a part of the last conversation of Jesus +Christ--just before, according to the account, He ascended bodily before +their eyes. If there ever was any important thing happened in this +world, that is one of them. If there was any conversation that people +would be apt to recollect, it would be the last conversation with God +before He rose through the air and seated Himself upon the throne of the +Infinite. We have in this Testament five accounts of the last +conversation happening between Jesus Christ and His apostles. Matthew +gives it. And yet Matthew does not state that in that conversation He +said: "Whoso believeth and is baptized shall be saved, and whoso +believeth not shall be damned." And if He did say those words, they were +the most important that ever fell from His lips. Matthew did not hear +it, or did not believe it, or forgot it. + +Then I turn to Luke, and he gives an account of this same last +conversation, and not one word does he say upon that subject. Now it is +the most important thing, if Christ said it, that He ever said. + +Then I turn to John, and he gives an account of the last conversation, +but not one solitary word on the subject of belief or unbelief. Not one +solitary word on the subject of damnation. Not one. + +Then I turn to the first chapter of the Acts, and there I find an +account of the last conversation; and in that conversation there is not +one word upon this subject. Now, I say, that demonstrates that the +passage in Mark is an interpolation. + +What other reason have I got? That there is not one particle of sense +in it. Why? No man can control his belief. You hear evidence for and +against, and the integrity of the soul stands at the scales and tells +which side rises and which side falls. You cannot believe as you wish. +You must believe as you must. And He might as well have said: "Go into +all the world and preach the gospel, and whosoever has red hair shall be +saved, and whosoever hath not shall be damned." + +I have another reason. I am much obliged to the gentleman who +interpolated these passages. I am much obliged to him that he put in +some more--two, more. Now hear: + +"And these signs shall follow them that believe." Good. + +"In My name shall they cast out devils. They shall speak with new +tongues, and they shall take up serpents and if they drink any deadly +thing it shall not hurt them. They shall lay hands on the sick, and +they shall recover." + +Bring on your believer! Let him cast out a devil. I do not claim a +large one, "just a little one for a cent." Let him take up serpents. +"And if he drink any deadly thing it shall not hurt him." Let me mix up +a dose for the theological believer, and if it does not hurt him I'll +join a church. O, but, "they say those things only lasted through that +apostolic age." Let us see. "Go ye into all the world and preach the +gospel to every creature. He that believeth and is baptized shall be +saved, but he that believeth not shall be damned. And these signs shall +follow them that believe." + +How long? I think at least until they had gone into all the world. +Certainly these signs should follow until all the world had been +visited. And yet if that declaration was in the mouth of Christ, he +then knew that one-half of the world was unknown and that he would be +dead 1,492 years before his disciples would know that there was another +world. And yet he said, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel," +and he knew then that it would be 1,492 years before anybody went. +Well, if it was worth while to have signs follow believers in the old +world, surely it was worth while to have signs follow believers in the +new world. And the very reason that signs should follow would be to +convince the unbeliever, and there are as many unbelievers now as ever, +and the signs are as necessary today as they ever were. I would like a +few myself. + +This frightful declaration, "He that believeth and is baptized shall be +saved, but he that believeth not shall be damned," has filled the world +with agony and crime. + +Every letter of this passage has been sword and fagot; every word has +been dungeon and chain. + +That passage made the sword of persecution drip with innocent blood for +ten centuries. That passage made the horizon of a thousand years lurid +with the flames of fagots. That passage contradicts the sermon on the +mount. That passage travesties the Lord's prayer. That passage turns +the splendid religion of deed and duty into the superstition of creed +and cruelty. I deny it. It is infamous. Christ never said it! Now I +come to Luke, and it is sufficient to say that Luke substantially agrees +with Matthew and with Mark. Substantially agrees, as the evidence is +read. I like it. + +"Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful." Good! + +"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged. Condemn not, and ye shall not +be condemned; forgive and ye shall be forgiven." Good! + +"Give, and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, and +shaken together, and running over." Good! I like it. + +"For with the same measure that ye mete withal, it shall be measured to +you again." + +He agrees substantially with Mark; he agrees substantially with +Matthew; and I come at last to the nineteenth chapter. + +"And Zaccheus stood and said unto the Lord, 'Behold, Lord, the half of +my goods I give to the poor, and if I have taken anything from any man +by false accusation, I restore him four-fold.' And Jesus said unto him, +'This day is salvation come to this house.'" + +That is good doctrine. He didn't ask Zaccheus what he believed. He +didn't ask him, Do you believe in the Bible? Do you believe in the five +points? Have you ever been baptized-sprinkled? Oh! immersed. "Half of +my goods I give to the poor, and if I have taken anything from any man +by false accusation, I restore him four-fold." "And Christ said, 'This +day is salvation come to this house.'" Good! + +I read also in Luke that Christ when upon the cross forgave His +murderers, and that is considered the shining gem in the crown of His +mercy--that He forgave His murderers. That He forgave the men who drove +the nails in His hands, in His feet, that plunged a spear in His side; +the soldier that in the hour of death offered Him in mockery the +bitterness to drink; that He forgave them all freely, and that yet, +although He would forgive them, He will in the nineteenth century damn +to eternal fire an honest man for the expression of his honest thoughts. +That won't do. I find too, in Luke, an account of two thieves that were +crucified at the same time. The other gospels speak of them. One says +they both railed upon Him. Another says nothing about it. In Luke we +are told that one did, but one of the thieves looked and pitied Christ, +and Christ said to that thief: + +"This day shalt thou meet me in Paradise." + +Why did He say that? Because the thief pitied Him. And God cannot +afford to trample beneath the feet of His infinite wrath the smallest +blossom of pity that ever shed its perfume in the human heart! + +Who was this thief? To what church did he belong? I don't know. The +fact that he was a thief throws no light on that question. Who was he? +What did he believe? I don't know. Did he believe in the Old +Testament? In the miracles? I don't know. Did he believe that Christ +was God? I don't know. Why, then, was the promise made to him that he +should meet Christ in Paradise. Simply because he pitied innocence +suffering on the cross. + +God cannot afford to damn any man that is capable of pitying anybody. + +And now we come to John, and that is where the trouble commences. The +other gospels teach that God will be merciful to the merciful, forgiving +to the forgiving, kind to the kind, loving to the loving, just to the +just, merciful to the good. + +Now we come to John, and here is another doctrine. And allow me to say +that John was not written until centuries after the others. This, the +Church got up: + +"And Jesus answered and said unto him: 'Furthermore I say unto thee +that except a man be born again he cannot see the "Kingdom of God."'" + +Why didn't He tell Matthew that? Why didn't He tell Luke that? Why +didn't He tell Mark that? They never heard of it, or forgot it, or they +didn't believe it. + +"Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit he cannot enter into +the Kingdom of God." Why? + +"That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the +spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, 'ye must be born +again.' That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is +born of the spirit is spirit,"--and He might have added that which is +born of water is water. + +"Marvel not that I say unto thee, 'ye must be born again.'" And then +the reason is given, and I admit I did not understand it myself until I +read the reason, and will understand it as well as I do; and here it is: +"The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, +and canst not tell whence it cometh and whither it goeth." So I find in +the book of John the idea of the real presence. + +So I find in the book of John, that in order to be saved we must eat of +the flesh and we must drink of the blood of Jesus Christ, and if that +gospel is true, the Catholic Church is right. But it is not true. I +cannot believe it, and yet for all that it may be true. But I don't +believe it. Neither do I believe there is any God in the universe who +will damn a man simply for expressing his belief. + +"Why," they say to me, "suppose all this should turn out to be true, and +you should come to the day of judgment and find all these things to be +true. What would you do then?" I would walk up like a man, and say, "I +was mistaken." + +"And suppose God was about to pass judgment on you, what would you say?" +I would say to Him, "Do unto others as you would that others should do +unto you." Why not? + +I am told that I must render good for evil. I am told that if smitten +on one cheek I must turn the other. I am told that I must overcome evil +with good. I am told that I must love my enemies; and will it do for +this God who tells me, "Love my enemies," to say, "I will damn mine." +No, it will not do; it will not do. + +In the book of John all this doctrine of regeneration; all this doctrine +that it is necessary to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ; all the +doctrine that salvation depends upon belief--in this book of John all +these doctrines find their warrant; nowhere else. + +Read these three gospels and then read John, and you will agree with me +that the gospels that teach "We must be kind, we must be merciful, we +must be forgiving, and thereupon that God will forgive us," is true, and +then say whether or no that doctrine is not better than the doctrine +that somebody else can be good for you, that somebody else can be bad +for you, and that the only way to get to heaven is to believe something +that you do not understand. + +Now upon these gospels that I have read the churches rest; and out of +those things that I have read they have made their creeds. And the +first Church to make a creed, so far as I know, was the Catholic. I take +it that is the first Church that had any power. That is the Church that +has preserved all these miracles for us. That is the Church that +preserved the manuscripts for us. That is the Church whose word we have +to take. That Church is the first witness that Protestantism brought to +the bar of history to prove miracles that took place eighteen hundred +years ago; and while the witness is there Protestantism takes pains to +say: "You can't believe one word that witness says, now." + +That Church is the only one that keeps up a constant communication with +heaven through the instrumentality of a large number of decayed saints. +That Church is an agent of God on earth. That Church has a person who +stands in the place of Deity; and that Church, according to their +doctrine, is infallible. That Church has persecuted to the exact extent +of her power--and always will. In Spain that Church stands erect, and +that Church is arrogant. In the United States that Church crawls. But +the object in both countries is the same, and that is the destruction of +intellectual liberty. That Church teaches us that we can make God happy +by being miserable ourselves. That Church teaches you that a nun is +holier in the sight of God than a loving mother with a child in her +thrilled and thrilling arms. That Church teaches you that a priest is +better than a father. That Church teaches you that celibacy is better +than that passion of love that has made everything of beauty in this +world. That Church tells the girl of 16 or 18 years of age, with eyes +like dew and light--that girl with the red of health in the white of her +beautiful checks--tells that girl, "Put on the veil woven of death and +night, kneel upon stones, and you will please God." + +I tell you that, by law, no girl should be allowed to take the veil, and +renounce the beauties of the world, until she was at least 25 years of +age. Wait until she knows what she wants. + +I am opposed to allowing these spider-like priests weaving webs to catch +the flies of youth; and there ought to be a law appointing +commissioners to visit such places twice a year, and release every +person who expresses a desire to be released. I don't believe in +keeping penitentiaries for God. No doubt they are honest about it. That +is not the question. + +Now this Church, after a few centuries of thought, made a creed, and +that creed is the foundation of orthodox religion. Let me read it to +you: + +"Whosoever will be saved, before all things it is necessary that he hold +the Catholic faith; which faith, except every one do keep entire and +inviolate, without doubt, he shall everlastingly perish." Now the faith +is this: "That we worship one God in trinity, and trinity in unity." + +Of course you understand how that's done, and there's no need of my +explaining it. Neither confounding the persons nor dividing the +substance. You see what a predicament that would leave the Deity in if +you divided, the substance. + +"For one is the person of the Father, another of the Son, and another of +the Holy Ghost; but the Godhead of the Father, and of the Son, and of +the Holy Ghost is all one "--you know what I mean by Godhead. In glory +equal, and in majesty co-eternal. Such as the Father is, such is the +Son, such is the Holy Ghost. The Father is uncreated, the Son +uncreated, the Holy Ghost uncreated. The Father incomprehensible, the +Son incomprehensible, the Holy Ghost incomprehensible. + +And that is the reason we know so much about the thing. "The Father is +eternal, the Son eternal, the Holy Ghost eternal," and yet there are not +three eternals, only one eternal, as also there are not three uncreated, +nor three incomprehensibles, only one uncreated, one incomprehensible. + +"In like manner, the Father is almighty, the Son almighty, the Holy +Ghost almighty." Yet there are not three almighties, only one Almighty. +So the Father is God, the Son God, the Holy Ghost God, and yet not three +Gods; and so likewise, the Father is Lord, the Son is Lord, the Holy +Ghost is Lord, yet there are not three Lords, for as we are compelled by +the Christian truth to acknowledge every person by himself to be God and +Lord, so we are all forbidden by the Catholic religion to say there are +three Gods, or three Lords. "The Father is made of no one, not created +or begotten. The Son is from the Father alone, not made, nor created, +or begotten. The Holy Ghost is from the Father and the Son, not made +nor begotten, but proceeded--" You know what proceeding is. + +"So there is one Father, not three Fathers." Why should there be three +Fathers, and only one Son? + +"One Son, and not three Sons; one Holy Ghost, not three Holy Ghosts; +and in this Trinity there is nothing before or afterward, nothing +greater or less, but the whole three persons are coeternal with one +another, and coequal, so that in all things the unity is to be worshiped +in Trinity, and the Trinity is to be worshiped in unity, and therefore +we will believe." Those who will be saved must thus think of the +Trinity. Furthermore, it is necessary to everlasting salvation that he +also believe rightly the incarnation of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now the +right of this thing is this: That we believe and confess that our Lord +Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is both God and man. He is God of the +substance of His Father begotten before the world was. That was a good +while before His mother lived. + +"And He is man of the substance of His mother, born in this world, +perfect God and perfect man, and the rational soul in human flesh +subsisting equal to the Father according to His Godhead, but less than +the Father, according to His manhood, who being both God and man is not +two but one--one not by conversion of God into flesh but by the taking +of the manhood into God." + +You see that it is a great deal easier than the other. "One altogether, +not by a confusion of substance, but by unity of person, for as the +rational soul and flesh is one man, so God the man, is one Christ, who +suffered for our salvation, descended into hell, rose again the third +day from the dead, ascended into heaven, and He sitteth at the right +hand of God, the Father Almighty, and He shall come to judge the living +and the dead." + +In order to be saved it is necessary to believe this. What a blessing, +that we do not have to understand it. And in order to compel the human +intellect to get upon its knees, before that infinite absurdity, +thousands and millions have suffered agonies; thousands and millions +have perished in dungeons and in fire; and if all the bones of all the +victims of the Catholic Church could be gathered together, a monument +higher than all the pyramids would rise in our presence, and the eyes +even of priests would be suffused with tears. + +That Church covered Europe with cathedrals and dungeons. That Church +robbed men of the jewel of the soul. That Church had ignorance upon its +knees. That Church went into partnership with the tyrants of the +throne, and between these two vultures, the altar and the throne, the +heart of man was devoured. Of course I have met, and cheerfully admit +that there is thousands of good Catholics; but Catholicism is contrary +to human liberty. Catholicism bases salvation upon belief. Catholicism +teaches man to trample his reason under foot. And for that reason, it +is wrong. + +Now, the next Church that comes along in the way that I wish to speak of +is the Episcopalian. That was founded by Henry VIII., now in heaven. He +cast off Queen Catherine and Catholicism together. And he accepted +Episcopalianism and Annie Boleyn at the same time. That Church, if it +had a few more ceremonies, would be Catholic. If it had a few less, +nothing. We have an Episcopalian Church in this country, and it has all +the imperfection of a poor relation. It is always boasting of a rich +relative. In England the creed is made by law, the same as we pass +statutes here. And when a gentleman dies in England, in order to +determine whether he shall be saved or not, it is necessary for the +power of heaven to read the acts of Parliament. It becomes a question +of law, and sometimes a man is damned on a very nice point. Lost on +demurrer. + +A few years ago, a gentleman by the name of Seabury, Samuel Seabury, +was sent over to England to get some apostolic succession. We hadn't a +drop in the house. It was necessary for the bishops of the English +church to put their hands upon his head. They refused; there was no +act of Parliament justifying--it. He had then to go to the Scotch +Bishops; and, had the Scotch Bishops refused, we never would have had +any apostolic succession in the new world. And God would have been +driven out of half the world; and the true church never could have been +founded. But the Scotch Bishops put their hands on his head, and now we +have an unbroken succession of heads and hands from St. Paul to the last +bishop. + +In this country the Episcopal Church has done some good, and I want to +thank that Church. Having, on an average, less religion than the +others, on an average you have done more good to mankind. You preserved +some of the humanities. You did not hate music, you did not absolutely +despise painting, and you did not altogether abhor architecture, and you +finally admitted that it was no worse to keep time with your feet than +with your hands. And some went so far as to say that people could play +cards, and God would overlook it, or would look the other way. For all +these things accept my thanks. + +When I was a boy, the other Churches looked upon dancing as probably the +mysterious sin against the Holy Ghost; and they used to teach that when +four boys got in a hay-mow, playing seven-up, that the Eternal God stood +whetting the sword of His eternal wrath waiting to strike them down to +the lowest hell. And so that Church has done some good. + +After a while, in England, a couple of gentlemen, or a couple of men by +the name of Wesley and Whitfield, said: "If everybody is going to hell, +nearly, somebody ought to mention it." The Episcopal clergy said: +"Keep still; don't tear your gown." Wesley and Whitfield said: "This +frightful truth ought to be proclaimed from the housetops at every +opportunity, from the highway of every occasion." They were good, honest +men. They believed their doctrine. And they said: "If there is a +hell, and a Niagara of souls pouring over an eternal precipice of +ignorance, somebody ought to say something." They were right; somebody +ought, if such thing was true. Wesley was a believer in the Bible. He +believed in the actual presence of the Almighty. God used to do +miracles for him; used to put off a rain several days to give his +meeting a chance; used to cure his horse of lameness; used to cure Mr. +Wesley's headaches. + +And Mr. Wesley also believed in the actual existence of the devil. He +believed that devils had possession of people. He talked to the devil +when he was in folks, and the devil told him that he was going to leave; +and that he was going into another person; that he would be there at a +certain time; and Wesley went to that other person, and there the devil +was, prompt to the minute. He regarded every conversion as an absolute +warfare between God and this devil for the possession of that human +soul. Honest, no doubt. Mr. Wesley did not believe in human liberty. +Honest, no doubt. Was opposed to the liberty of the colonies. Honestly +so. Mr. Wesley preached a sermon entitled, "The Cause and Cure of +Earthquakes," in which he took the ground that earthquakes were caused +by sin and the only way to stop them was to believe in the Lord Jesus +Christ. No doubt an honest man. + +Wesley and Whitfield fell out on the question of predestination. Wesley +insisted that God invited everybody to the feast. Whitfield said He did +not invite those He knew would not come. Wesley said He did. Whitfield +said: "Well, He didn't put plates for them, anyway." Wesley said He +did. So that, when they were in hell, he could show them that there was +a seat left for them. And that Church that they founded is still +active. And probably no Church in the world has done so much preaching +for as little money as the Methodists. Whitfield believed in slavery and +advocated the slave trade. And it was of Whitfield that Whittier made +the two lines: + +He bade the slave ships speed from coast to coast, Fanned by the wings +of the Holy Ghost. + +We have lately had a meeting of the Methodists, and I find, by their +statistics, that they believe they have converted 130,000 folks in a +year. That in order to do this, they have 26,000 preachers, 226,000 +Sunday-school scholars, and about $1,000,000,000 invested in church +property. I find, in looking over the history of the world, that there +are 40,000,000 or 50,000,000,000 of people born a year, and if they are +saved at the rate of 30,000 a year, about how long will it take that +doctrine to save this world? Good, honest people; they are mistaken. + +In old times they were very simple. Churches used to be like barns. +They used to have them divided--men on that side, and women on this. A +little barbarous. We have advanced since then, and we now find as a +fact, demonstrated by experience, that a man sitting by the woman he +loves can thank God as heartily as though sitting between two men that +he has never been introduced to. + +There is another thing these Methodists should remember, and that is, +that the Episcopalians were the greatest enemies they ever had. And +they should remember that the Free-Thinkers have always treated them +kindly and well. + +There is one thing about the Methodist Church in the North that I like. +But I find that it is not Methodism that does that. I find that the +Methodist Church in the South is as much opposed to liberty as the +Methodist Church North is in favor of liberty. So it is not Methodism +that is in favor of liberty or slavery. They differ a little in their +creed from the rest. They do not believe that God does everything. +They believe that He does His part, and that you must do the rest, and +that getting to heaven is a partnership business. + +The next church is the Presbyterians--in my judgment the worst of all, +as far as creed is concerned. This Church was founded by John Calvin, a +murderer! John Calvin, having power in Geneva, inaugurated human +torture. Voltaire abolished torture in France. The man who abolished +torture, if the Christian religion be true, God is now torturing in +hell; and the man who inaugurated torture, is now a glorified angel in +heaven. It won't do. + +John Knox started this doctrine in Scotland, and there is this +peculiarity about Presbyterianism, it grows best where the soil is +poorest. I read the other day an account of a meeting between John Knox +and John Calvin. Imagine a dialogue between a pestilence and a famine! +Imagine a conversation between a block and an ax! As I read their +conversation it seemed to me as though John Knox and John Calvin were +made for each other; that they fitted each other like the upper and +lower jaws of a wild beast. They believed happiness was a crime; they +looked upon laughter as blasphemy, and they did all they could to +destroy every human feeling, and to fill the mind with the infinite +gloom of predestination and eternal damnation. They taught the doctrine +that God had a right to damn us because He made us. That is just the +reason that He has not a right to damn us. There is some dust. +Unconscious dust! What right has God to change that unconscious dust +into a human being, when He knows that human being will sin; and He +knows that human being will suffer eternal agony? Why not leave him in +the unconscious dust? What right has an infinite God to add to the sum +of human agony? Suppose I knew that I could change that piece of +furniture into a living, sentient human being, and I knew that that +being would suffer untold agony forever. If I did it, I would be a +fiend. I would leave that being in the unconscious dust. And yet we +are told that we must believe such a doctrine, or we are to be eternally +damned! It won't do. + +In 1839 there was a division in this Church, and they had a lawsuit to +see which was the Church of God. And they tried it by a judge and jury, +and the jury decided that the new school was the Church of God, and then +they got a new trial, and the next jury decided that the old school was +the Church of God, and that settled it. That Church teaches that +infinite innocence was sacrificed for me! I don't want it! I don't wish +to go to heaven unless I can settle by the books, and go there because I +ought to go there. I have said, and I say again, I don't want to be a +charity angel. I have no ambition to become a winged pauper of the +skies. + +The other day a young gentleman, a Presbyterian, who had just been +converted, came to me and gave me a tract and he told me he was +perfectly happy. Ugh! Says I: "Do you think a great many people are +going to hell?" "Oh, yes." "And you are perfectly happy?" "Well, he +didn't know as he was quite." "Wouldn't you be happier if they were all +going to heaven?" "O, yes." "Well, then you are not perfectly happy?" +"No, he didn't think he was." Says I: "When you get to heaven, then you +would be perfectly happy?" "Oh, yes." "Now, when we are only going to +hell, you are not quite happy; but when we are in hell, and you in +heaven, then you will be perfectly happy?" You won't be as decent when +you get to be an angel as you are now, will you? "Well," he said, +"that was not exactly it." Said I: "Suppose your mother were in hell, +would you be happy in heaven then?" "Well," he says, "I suppose God +would know the best place for mother." And I thought to myself, then, +if I was a woman, I would like to have five or six boys like that. + +It will not do. Heaven is where are those we love, and those who love +us. And I wish to go to no world unless I can be accompanied by those +who love me here. Talk about the consolations of this infamous +doctrine. The consolations of a doctrine that makes a father say, "I +can be happy with my daughter in hell"; that makes a mother say, "I can +be happy with my generous, brave boy in hell"; that makes a boy say, "I +can enjoy the glory of heaven with the woman who bore me, the woman who +would have died for me, in eternal agony." And they call that tidings of +great joy. + +I have not time to speak of the Baptists,--that Jeremy Taylor said were +as much to be rooted out as anything that is the greatest pest and +nuisance on the earth. Nor of the Quakers, the best of all, and abused +by all. I can not forget that George Fox, in the year of grace 1640, +was put in the pillory and whipped from town to town, scarred, put in a +dungeon, beaten, trampled upon, and what for? Simply because he preached +the doctrine: "Thou shalt not resist evil with evil. Thou shalt love +thy enemies." Think what the Church must have been that day to scar the +flesh of that loving man! Just think of it! I say I have not time to +speak of all these sects. And of the varieties of Presbyterians and +Campbellites. The people who think they must dive in order to go up. +There are hundreds and hundreds of these sects, all founded upon this +creed that I read, differing simply in degree. Ah but they say to me: +"You are fighting something that is dead. Nobody believes this, now." +The preachers do not believe what they preach in the pulpit. The people +in the pews do not believe what they hear preached. And they say to me: +"You are fighting something that is dead. This is all a form, we do not +believe a solitary creed in it. We sign it and swear that we believe +it, but we don't. And none of us do. And all the ministers they say in +private, admit that they do not believe it, not quite." I don't know +whether this is so or not. I take it that they believe what they +preach. I take it that when they meet and solemnly agree to a creed, I +take it they are honest and solemnly believe in that creed. + +The Evangelical Alliance, made up of all orthodox denominations of the +world, met only a few years ago, and here is their creed: They believe +in the divine inspiration, authority, and sufficiency of the Holy +Scriptures; the right and duty of private judgment in the +interpretation of Holy Scriptures, but if you interpret wrong you are +damned. They believe in the unity of the Godhead and the trinity of the +persons therein. They believe in the utter depravity of human nature. +There can be no more infamous doctrine than that. They look upon a +little child as a lump of depravity. I look upon it as a bud of +humanity, that will, under proper circumstances, blossom into rich and +glorious life. + +Total depravity of human nature! Here is a woman whose husband has been +lost at sea; the news comes that he has been drowned by the ever-hungry +waves, and she waits. There is something in her heart that tells her he +is alive. And she waits. And years afterwards as she looks down toward +the little gate, she sees him; he has been given back by the sea, and +she rushes to his arms and covers his face with kisses, and with tears. +And if that infamous doctrine is true, every tear is a crime, and every +kiss a blasphemy. It won't do. According to that doctrine, if a man +steals and repents, and takes back the property, the repentance and the +taking back of the property are two other crimes if he is totally +depraved: It is an infamy. What else do they believe? "The +justification of a sinner by faith alone," without works, just faith. +Believing something that you don't understand. Of course God cannot +afford to reward a man for believing anything that is reasonable. God +rewards only for believing something that is unreasonable, if you +believe something that you know is not so. What else? They believe in +the eternal blessedness of the righteous, and in the eternal punishment +of the wicked. Tidings of great joy! They are so good that they will +not associate with Universalists. They will not associate with +Unitarians. They will not associate with scientists. They will only +associate with those who believed that God so loved the world that He +made up his mind to damn the most of us. Then they say to me: "What do +you propose? You have torn this down; what do you propose to give in +the place of it?" I have not torn the good down. I have only +endeavored to trample out the ignorant, cruel fires of hell. I do not +tear away the passage, "God will be merciful to the merciful." I do not +destroy the promise, "If you will forgive others, God will forgive +you." I would not for anything blot out the faintest stars that shine +in the horizon of human despair, nor in the horizon of human hope; but +I will do what I can to get that infinite shadow out of the heart of +man. + +"What do you propose to put in place of this?" + +Well, in the first place, I propose good fellowship--good friends all +around. No matter what we believe, shake hands and let it go. That is +your opinion. This is mine: "Let us be friends." Science makes +friends, religion--superstition--makes enemies. They say, "Belief is +important." I say no, good actions are important. Judge by deed, not by +creed, good fellowship. We have had too many of these solemn people. +Whenever I see an exceedingly solemn man, I know he is an exceedingly +stupid man. No man of any humor ever founded any religion--never. +Humor sees both sides, while reason is the holy light; humor carries +the lantern and the man with a keen sense of humor is preserved from +the solemn stupidities of superstition. I like a man who has got good +feeling for everybody--good fellowship. One man said to another: + +"Will you take a glass of wine?" + +"I don't drink." + +"Will you smoke a cigar?" + +"I don't smoke." + +"Maybe you will chew something?" + +"I don't chew." + +"Let us eat some hay." + +"I tell you I don't eat hay." + +"Well, then, good-bye; for you are no company for man or beast." + +I believe in the gospel of cheerfulness, the gospel of good nature, the +gospel of good health. Let us pray to our bodies. Take care of our +bodies, and our souls will take care of themselves. Good health! And I +believe that the time will come when the public thought will be so great +and grand that it will be looked upon as infamous to perpetuate disease. +I believe the time will come when man will not fill the future with +consumption and insanity. I believe the time will come when we study +ourselves, and understand the laws of health, that we will say, "We are +under obligation to put the flags of health in the cheeks of our +children." Even if I got to heaven, and had a harp, I would hate to +look back upon my children and grandchildren, and see them diseased, +deformed, crazed, all suffering the penalties of crimes I had committed. + +I, then, believe in the gospel of good health, and I believe in a gospel +of good living. You can not make any God happy by fasting. Let us have +good food, and let us have it well cooked--and it is a thousand times +better to know how to cook it than it is to understand any theology in +the world. I believe in the gospel of good clothes. I believe in the +gospel of good houses, in the gospel of water and soap. I believe in +the gospel of intelligence, in the gospel of education. The school- +house is my cathedral. The universe is my Bible. I believe in that +gospel of justice that we must reap what we sow. + +I do not believe in forgiveness. If I rob Mr. Smith and God forgives +me, how does that help Smith? If I, by slander, cover some poor girl +with the leprosy of some imputed crime, and she withers away like a +blighted flower, and afterward I get forgiveness, how does that help +her? If there is another world we have got to settle. No bankrupt +court there. Pay down. The Christians say, that among the ancient +Jews, if you committed a crime you had to kill a sheep, now they say,-- +"Charge it." "Put it upon the slate." It won't do, for every crime you +commit you must answer to yourself and to the one you injure. And if you +have ever clothed another with unhappiness, as with a garment of pain, +you will never be quite as happy as though you hadn't done that thing. +No forgiveness. Eternal, inexorable, everlasting justice. That is what +I believe in. And if it goes hard with me, I will stand it, and I will +stick to in logic and I will bear it like a man. + +And I believe, too, in the gospel of liberty, in giving to others what +we claim for ourselves. I believe there is room everywhere for thought, +and the more liberty you give away the more you will have. In liberty, +extravagance is economy. Let us be just. Let us be generous to each +other. + +I believe in the gospel of intelligence. That is the only lever capable +of raising mankind. Intelligence must be the savior of this world. +Humanity is the grand religion, and no God can put another in hell in +another world who has made a little heaven in this. God cannot make a +man miserable if that man has made somebody else happy. God cannot hate +anybody who is capable of loving anybody. + +So I believe in this great gospel of generosity. + +"Ah! but," they say, "it won't do. You must believe. I say no. My +gospel of health will bring life. My gospel of intelligence, my gospel +of good living, my gospel of good-fellowship will cover the world with +happy homes. My doctrine will put carpets upon your floors, pictures +upon your walls. My doctrine will put books upon your shelves, ideas in +your minds. My doctrine will rid the world of the abnormal monsters +born of the ignorance of superstition. My doctrine will give us health, +wealth, and happiness. That is what I want. That is what I believe in. +Give us intelligence. In a little while a man may find that he cannot +steal without robbing himself. He will find that he cannot murder +without assassinating his own joy. He will find that every crime is a +mistake. He will find that only that man carries the cross who does +wrong, and that the man who does right the cross turns to wings upon his +shoulders that will bear him upwards forever. He will find that +intelligent self-love embraces within its mighty arms all the human +race. + +"Oh," but they say to me, "you take away immortality." I do not. If we +are immortal it is a fact in nature, and we are not indebted to priests +for it, nor to Bibles for it, and it cannot be destroyed by unbelief. + +As long as we love we will hope to live, and when the one dies that we +love, we will say: "Oh, that we could meet again!" And whether we do +or not, it will not be the work of theology. It will be a fact in +nature. I would not for my life destroy one star of human hope; but I +want it so that when a poor woman rocks the cradle, and sings a lullaby +to the dimpled darling, that she will not be compelled to believe that, +ninety-nine chances in a hundred, she is raising kindling-wood for hell. +One world at a time--that is my doctrine. + +It is said in the Testament, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil +thereof" and I say, sufficient unto each world is the evil thereof. And +suppose, after all, that death does end all, next to eternal joy, next +to being forever with those we love and those who have loved us, next to +that is to be wrapt in the dreamless drapery of eternal peace. + +Next to external life is eternal death. Upon the shadowy shore of death +the sea of trouble casts no wave. Eyes that have been curtained by the +everlasting dark will never know again the touch of tears. Lips that +have been touched by eternal silence will never utter another word of +grief. Hearts of dust do not break; the dead do not weep. And I had +rather think of those I have loved, and those I have lost, as having +returned, as having become a part of the elemental wealth of the world-- +I would rather think of them as unconscious dust--I would rather think +of them as gurgling in the stream, floating in the clouds, bursting in +the foam of light upon the shores of worlds--I would rather think of +them as the inanimate and eternally unconscious, that to have even a +suspicion that their naked souls had been clutched by an orthodox God. + +But for me, I will leave the dead where nature leaves them. And +whatever flower of hope springs up in my heart I will cherish; but I +can not believe that there is any being in this universe who has created +a human soul for eternal pain. And I would rather that every God would +destroy himself; I would rather that we all should go to eternal chaos, +to black and starless night, that that just one soul should suffer +eternal agony. I have made up my mind that if there is a God, he will +be merciful to the merciful. Upon that rock I stand. That he will +forgive the forgiving. Upon that rock I stand. That every man should +be true to himself, and that there is no world, no star, in which +honesty is a crime. And upon that rock I stand. The honest man, the +good, kind, sweet woman, the happy child, has nothing to fear, neither +in this world, nor the world to come. And upon that rock I stand. + + + + + +INGERSOLL'S ANSWER TO PROF. SWING, DR. THOMAS, AND OTHERS + + + +After looking over the replies made to his new lecture, Col. Ingersoll +was asked by a Tribune reporter what he thought of them. He replied as +follows: + +I think they dodge the point. The real point is this: If salvation by +faith is the real doctrine of Christianity, I asked on Sunday before +last, and I still ask, why didn't Matthew tell it? I still insist that +Mark should have remembered it, and I shall always believe that Luke +ought, at least, to have noticed it. I was endeavoring to show that +modern Christianity has for its basis an interpolation. I think I +showed it. The only gospel on the orthodox side is that of John, and +that was certainly not written, or did not appear in its present form, +until long after the others were written. I know very well that the +Catholic Church claimed during the Dark Ages, and still claims, that +references had been made to the gospels by persons living in the first, +second and third centuries; but I believe such manuscripts were +manufactured by the Catholic Church. For many years in Europe there was +not one person in 20,000 who could read and write. During that time the +Church had in its keeping the literature of our world. They +interpolated as they pleased. They created. They destroyed. In other +words, they did whatever in their opinion was necessary to substantiate +the faith. The gentlemen who saw fit to reply did not answer the +question, and I again call upon the clergy to explain to the people why, +if salvation depended upon belief in the Lord Jesus Christ, Matthew did +not mention it. Some one has said that Christ didn't make known this +doctrine of salvation by belief or faith until after His resurrection. +Certainly none of the gospels were written until after His resurrection; +and if He made that doctrine known after His resurrection, and before +His ascension, it should have been in Matthew, Mark, and Luke, as well +as John. + +The replies of the clergy show that they have not investigated the +subject; that they are not well acquainted with the New Testament. In +other words, they have not read it except with the regulation +theological bias. There is one thing I wish to correct here. In an +editorial in the Tribune it was stated that I had admitted that Christ +was beyond and above Buddha, Zoroaster, Confucius, and others. I didn't +say so. Another point was made against me, and those who made it seemed +to think it was a good one. In my lecture I asked why it was that the +Disciples of Christ wrote in Greek, whereas, in fact, they understood +only Hebrew. It is now claimed that Greek was the language of Jerusalem +at that time; that Hebrew had fallen into disuse; that no one +understood it except the literati and the highly educated. If I fell +into an error upon this point it was because I relied upon the New +Testament. I find in the twenty-first chapter of the Acts an account of +Paul having been mobbed in the city of Jerusalem; that he was protected +by a Chief Captain and some soldiers; that, when upon the stairs of the +castle to which he was being taken for protection, he obtained leave +from the Captain to speak unto the people. In the fortieth verse of +that chapter I find the following: + +"And when he had given him license, Paul stood on the stairs and +beckoned with the hand unto the people; and when there was made a great +silence he spake unto them in the Hebrew tongue, saying--" + +And then follows the speech of Paul, wherein he gives an account of his +conversion. It seems a little curious to me that Paul for the purpose +of quieting the mob, would speak to that mob in an unknown language. If +I were mobbed in the city of Chicago, and wished to defend myself with +an explanation, I certainly would not make that explanation in Chocktaw, +even if I understood that tongue. My present opinion is that I would +speak in English; and the reason I would speak in English is, because +that language is generally understood in this city. And so I conclude +from the account in the twenty-first chapter of the Acts that "Hebrew +was the language of Jerusalem at that time, or that Paul would not have +addressed the mob in that tongue." + +"Did you read Mr. Courtney's answer?" + +"I read what Mr. Courtney read from others, and think some of his +quotations very good; and have no doubt that the authors will feel +complimented by being quoted." + +"But what about there being belief in Matthew?" + +"Mr. Courtney says that certain people were cured of diseases on account +of faith. Admitting that mumps, measles, and whooping-cough could be +cured in that way, there is not even a suggestion that salvation +depended upon a like faith. I think he can hardly afford to rely upon +the miracles of the New Testament to prove his doctrine. There is one +instance in which a miracle was performed by Christ without His +knowledge. And I hardly think that even Mr. Courtney would insist that +any faith could have been great enough for that. The fact is, I believe +that all these miracles were ascribed to Christ long after His death, +and that Christ never, at any time or place, pretended to have any +supernatural power whatever. Neither do I believe that He claimed any +supernatural origin. He claimed simply to be a man--no less, no more. +I don't believe Mr. Courtney is satisfied with his own reply." + +"And now as to Prof. Swing?" + +"Mr. Swing has been out of the orthodox church so long that he seems to +have forgotten the reasons for which he left it. I don't believe there +is an orthodox minister in the city of Chicago who will agree with Mr. +Swing that salvation by faith is no longer preached. Prof. Swing seems +to think it of no importance who wrote the Gospel of St. Matthew. In +this I agree with him. Judging from what he said, there is hardly +difference enough of opinion between us to justify a reply on his part. +He, however, makes one mistake. I did not in the lecture say one word +about tearing churches down. I have no objection to people building all +the churches they wish. While I admit that it is a pretty sight to see +children on a morning in June going through the fields to the country +church, I still insist that the beauty of that sight doesn't answer the +question how it is that Matthew forgot to say anything about salvation +through Christ. Prof. Swing is a man of poetic temperament; but this +is not a poetic question." + +"How did the card of Dr. Thomas strike you?" + +"I think the reply of Dr. Thomas in the best possible spirit. I regard +him to day as the best intellect in the Methodist denomination. He seems +to have what is generally understood as a Christian spirit. He has +always treated me with perfect fairness, and I should have said long ago +many grateful things, had I not feared I might hurt with his own people. +He seems to be by nature a perfectly fair man; and I know of no man in +the United States for whom I have a profounder respect. Of course I +don't agree with Mr. Thomas. I think in many things he is mistaken. +But I believe him to be perfectly sincere. There is one trouble about +him,--he is growing; and this fact will no doubt give great trouble to +many of his brethren. Certain Methodist hazelbrush feel a little uneasy +in the shadow of his oak." + +"Are you going to make a formal reply to their sermons." + +"Not unless something better is done than has been. Of course I don't +know what another Sabbath may bring forth. I am waiting. But of one +thing I feel perfectly assured; that no man in the United States, or in +the world, can account for the fact, if we are to be saved only by faith +in Christ, that Matthew forgot it, that Luke said nothing about it, and +that Mark never mentioned it except in two passages written by another +person. Until that is answered, as one grave-digger says to the other +in "Hamlet," I shall say: 'Ay, tell me that and unyoke.' In the +meantime, I wish to keep on the best terms with all parties concerned. +I cannot see why my forgiving spirit fails to gain their sincere +praise." + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Lectures Of Col. R. G. Ingersoll, Vol. +I, by Col. Robert Green Ingersoll + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LECTURES OF COL. INGERSOLL, V1 *** + +This file should be named ingr110.txt or ingr110.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, ingr111.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, ingr110a.txt + +Produced by Mark R. 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