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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f57f44 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text +*.htm text +*.html text +*.png binary +*.jpg binary +*.svg text +*.pdf binary +*.bmp binary +*.zip binary +*.midi binary +*.mp3 binary diff --git a/79399-0.txt b/79399-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..165bb4c --- /dev/null +++ b/79399-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10152 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 79399 *** +Transcriber's notes: Unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed. + +New original cover art included with this eBook is granted to the +public domain. + + + +[Illustration: SHE HEARD A WHIZZ AND A HISS THROUGH THE AIR, + AND A SMALL COIL OF ROPE FELL NEATLY INTO THE BOAT] + + + + A HAPPY WOMAN + + + BY + + AMY LE FEUVRE + + AUTHOR OF "TOMINA IN RETREAT," "THE MENDER," + "DUDLEY NAPIER'S DAUGHTERS," ETC., ETC. + + + _"The joy of the Lord is your strength"_ + + + LONDON + THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY + 4 BOUVERIE STREET, E.C.4 + + + + Made in Great Britain + + + + OTHER BOOKS BY + + AMY LE FEUVRE + ————————————— + + A BIT OF ROUGH ROAD + BRIDGET'S QUARTER-DECK + THE CHISEL + A DAUGHTER OF THE SEA + THE DISCOVERY OF DAMARIS + HEATHER'S MISTRESS + HER HUSBAND'S PROPERTY + JOYCE AND THE RAMBLER + THE MENDER + ODD MADE EVEN + OLIVE TRACEY + TOMINA IN RETREAT + THE MAKING OF A WOMAN + THE CHATEAU BY THE LAKE + DWELL DEEP + ON THE EDGE OF A MOOR + THE CARVED CUPBOARD + + + [Illustration] + + OF ALL BOOKSHOPS + + + + TO + + MY SISTER CHARLOTTE + + + + CONTENTS + + BOOK I + +CHAPTER + + I. HER BROTHER'S NEWS + II. AN UNCOMFORTABLE HOUSE + III. A ROW UPON THE LAKE + IV. SPRINGTIME + V. A DAY OUT + VI. THE SECRET TROUBLE + VII. THE INVALID IMPROVES + VIII. A MAN'S DETERMINATION + IX. A DIFFICULT MEETING + X. GRAHAM'S DEPARTURE + XI. A YOUNG VISITOR + XII. "TOO GOOD TO LAST" + XIII. COUSIN ANNA'S HEIR + XIV. A SUMMONS TO TOWN + + BOOK II + + I. A MOVE TO THE COUNTRY + II. UNWELCOME NEWS + III. MAKING FRIENDS + IV. GRAHAM AND HIS WIFE + V. TROUBLE AT THE HALL + VI. AN EVENING TALK + VII. TOWN LIFE AGAIN + VIII. GRAHAM'S VISIT + IX. A DAY OF SUNSHINE + X. THEIR FUTURE HOME + + + + A HAPPY WOMAN + + BOOK I + +CHAPTER I + +HER BROTHER'S NEWS + +THE fire blazed away cheerfully in the grate, throwing flickers of +light across the dusky room. + +Sara sat in an easy-chair with her feet on the fender. There was a +quiet serenity and grace about her attitude; her needlework was upon +a small table by her side. Just now she was idle; her slender capable +hands were clasped in her lap, but her large heavily fringed grey eyes +were perplexed with busy anxious thought. + +Her surroundings, if not luxurious, were essentially cosy and +homelike. The carpet was a thick Turkey, the leather chairs and large +Chesterfield couch drawn up on the other side of the fire looked made +for comfort. There were two handsome bookcases, a piano, and a large +writing-table between two long narrow windows. But the sporting prints +on the walls, the pipe-racks over the chimney-piece, and the scent of +tobacco in the room were evidences that this was more of a man's room +than a woman's. And yet there were feminine touches in the gracefully +grouped flowers in glass bowls, and in the indescribable woman's +impress on it all. + +Sara herself was an attractive figure—not strictly beautiful, but she +had a bright lovable face, which changed perpetually from grave to +gay; a face that one learnt to watch with increasing interest, for it +mirrored a happy and beautiful soul. She had a way of twinkling her +eyes, and pulling down the corners of her mouth when she was amused, +and Sara had the gift of humour in no small degree. Now she was very +serious, and a wistful look had crept into her soft eyes. + +Outside there was a distant rumble and roar of motors and 'buses. +The street itself was a quiet one, taxis occasionally dashed past +the house, but there was a continual tramp on the pavement. In a few +minutes, she raised her head. + +A taxi had stopped at the door; she heard the click of a latchkey +inserted in the lock, for her door was open; then she heard voices and +steps coming along the hall. For an instant she rose from her chair, +and stood irresolute, then with a quick-caught breath, she reseated +herself. And the next moment a young man and a very pretty girl stood +before her. + +"Here we are, Sara! Give us your blessing!" + +Sara was on her feet again, she held out both hands to the girl; then +stooping, for she was fully a head the taller of the two, she kissed +her warmly. + +"We shall be sisters now, Milly. I am so very glad." + +"And so am I," said Milly, prettily. "I have always admired you so +much; and Arnold and I have been saying that you must always live with +us. I couldn't be happy if I felt that I was turning you out of your +home." + +Sara winced, then she laughed. + +"We need not talk about that," she said, "but I thank you for your +thought of me." + +Then Arnold drew the most comfortable chair towards the fire and seated +Milly in it. + +"We'll have tea down here, eh?" he asked. "Just as we do when we want +to be cosy." + +"I'm afraid Lacy has laid it in the drawing-room with unusual pomp and +splendour. You'll hurt her feelings dreadfully if you make her alter +her arrangements." + +Milly laughed. + +"You're always in such bondage to Lacy; now, in our house, our servants +do what we want; we don't do what they want!" + +Sara looked at the girl reflectively. + +"Yes," she said after a pause, "that's the orthodox way, of course, but +fifteen years of faithful service makes one's heart tender." + +"Oh, well," laughed Arnold, "let us come along up, then. It is in +honour of you, Milly, so we won't grieve the poor old soul!" + +They went upstairs into a pretty drawing-room. A sweet-faced elderly +woman was putting the finishing touches to a round table wheeled up to +the fire. + +"Here, Lacy, is the future Mrs. Arnold Darlington. Don't you think I'm +a lucky man?" + +Lacy looked up and almost made an old-fashioned curtsey. + +"I wish you both well, sir," she said sedately, but she did not look +overwhelmingly glad as she spoke. + +"I'm sure Lacy doesn't approve of me," said Milly, when the old servant +had left the room. "She never did, not from the first day I came to see +Sara here." + +Arnold laughed happily. Lacy's opinion was of small importance to him +at this present moment. + +Sara took her place at the tea-table, and talk flowed on in an easy +fashion. Milly was slightly excited by her new position, and full of +plans for the future. + +"We're going to be married next month," she announced. "We've talked it +all over and settled the day, and my dress, and everything. We've known +each other for two years, and there's nothing to wait for." + +"Nothing in the world," responded Arnold fervently; "and we're going +to make a flying visit to Paris, and then will settle in here straight +away." + +"You take my breath away with such rapidity," said Sara. "And what do +the parents say, Milly?" + +"Arnold is coming to dinner to-night, and then the whole thing will +be settled," said Milly, her eyes roving round the room as she spoke. +"Sara dear, don't you think the curtains rather shabby here? I love +blue in a room. Pale blue Roman satin would be lovely. What do you say, +Arnold?" + +"Anything you like," was the answer of the reckless lover. "I suppose +the house ought to be done up a bit. You'll see to that, eh, Sara?" + +"Oh," said Milly, eagerly, "you must let me have my say in it. I love +getting new furniture and having fresh paint and papers in a house." + +"Yes, it will be your right," said Sara, looking across at the girl +with a friendly smile; "and I can't promise to supervise things, for I +shall be away." + +"Away?" gasped Arnold. "Why, Sara, you've never left me. Where can you +go?" + +"Ah!" said Sara, with a laugh and mysterious nod. "That's 'my' secret!" + +Her brother looked at her wonderingly, but Milly claimed his attention. +She did not seem surprised by Sara's statement, and the young couple +did not stay long after tea. + + +Milly invited Sara to dinner that evening, but she declined the +invitation. + +"It will be better for Arnold to meet your parents alone," she said, +and she saw the relief in Milly's face as she spoke. + +When they had left the house, Sara walked downstairs again to the +smoking-room, and sat down at the writing-table to answer a letter +which had come by the morning post, and which had been in her thoughts +all the day. She sealed it and stamped it, then stood up, and clasping +her hands behind her neck, looked at herself in the low mirror over the +fireplace. + +"You're strong and comfortable looking," she murmured, giving her +reflection a little nod of approval, "not very young or flighty. And +you've learnt, or you ought to have learnt, to have an unlimited amount +of patience and forbearance to draw from when required. And you must +buck up and do what thousands of other women are doing, for you have +most assuredly burnt your boats behind you now." + +Then she added, with a sudden inspiration— + +"I'll run over and see Miss Grafton. I won't sit brooding and mooding, +and fermenting the feeling of injury and neglect!" + +To say was to do with her. She swiftly went upstairs to her bedroom, +and wrapping a fur cloak around her, sped down the stairs out into the +cold foggy street. + +Across the square, she knocked at a house in a terrace. + +The door was opened, and a minute later she was shaking hands with a +bright-faced little old lady upon an invalid couch. + +"My dear Sara! You whirl in like a fresh breeze. Isn't my room very +warm? My dragon will have the windows shut to-night! And the fire is +big enough to roast an ox. Now, what is your news?" + +"What I have expected for a long time. Arnold and Milly are engaged." + +"What fools young men can be!" + +"Now, don't be nasty. She really is devoted to him, and he to her. They +have a lot to learn, but they will learn it like every one else." + +"And when is the wedding coming off?" + +"Almost immediately. In a month's time. There is no reason why they +should wait. Arnold has a handsome income, and she, you know, has +plenty of money." + +"I hope we are not going to lose you." + +"In about three weeks," said Sara, slowly, "I shall be in the wilds of +Westmorland, living with a lonely widow in the capacity of a companion +and help." + +"My dear girl!" + +Little Miss Grafton looked genuinely shocked and disturbed. + +She cast her memory back to the day when the rising young barrister had +come to the opposite house to live with his sister. She had known their +old home in Berkshire; their father had been a small country squire +there. And Sara had hunted with him four days a week during the winter, +and had house-parties of young friends all the summer. She had paid +occasional visits to town after she had been presented at Court, and +had always had plenty of admirers amongst her friends. But since her +father's death, and the break-up of the old home, Sara had withdrawn +herself from much social gaiety. + +Mr. Darlington's affairs were found to be in a shocking state after +his death. The estate had to be sold to pay off the accumulated mass +of debts, and Sara came to live with her brother with only an income +of fifty pounds a year which had come to her through her mother. She +and her brother had been all in all to each other till the usual thing +happened. Millicent Conway had come into their lives; and Arnold had +quickly lost his heart to her. + +"But, my dear girl," said Miss Grafton, slowly, "is it necessary to cut +yourself aloof from your brother? Does he wish it?" + +"I am afraid I do." Sara's head was raised in the air, and a heightened +colour was in her cheeks. "It never does for sisters-in-law to live +together, and Milly and I have hardly a thought in common." + +"But 'anybody'—a shop girl—could become a companion help. It is really +a waste of material for you to sink to that. With your culture and +education you could do so much better. How did you hear of this?" + +"I saw the advertisement in the paper. It attracted me. I don't +know why. I have spent my days in taking care of a helpless man. +I shall miss my vocation if I do not take care of somebody. And I +wanted something at once. And though I answered other advertisements, +this was the only one that had a satisfactory result. She required +one reference, and my clergyman's proved quite sufficient. The +advertisement ran like this—I know it by heart— + + "'Wanted at once by lonely widow; a gentlewoman as companion, also +to help in light household duties. Must be patient, capable, and +resourceful.' + +"I like the word 'resourceful,' don't you? There's an adventurous sound +in it! Well, I answered it, and this is the reply." + +She took a letter out of her pocket— + + "'Mrs. Laird has received Miss Darlington's application, and begs to +say that she requires a young woman of good birth to wait upon her, +as she is a great invalid. Her duties would be light, but though Mrs. +Laird keeps two indoor servants, she expects her companion to bring +her comfort and cheerful society. She does not wish a young or flighty +girl, and she wants some one who is good-tempered and forbearing. If +Miss Darlington is not happy in the country, she had better not come.'" + +Miss Grafton gave a little laugh. + +"It does not sound an attractive post." + +"It does to me. I love making people happy and comfortable. And I want +hard things to tackle. I have been leading a very luxurious lazy life." + +"My dear Sara, you are always busy. You have a district and a Sunday +school class." + +"Yes." + +For an instant Sara's bright face shadowed. + +"I shall feel leaving them. But I am panting for a fuller life, Miss +Grafton. And my opportunity has come." + +"Shut up with a cranky invalid in desolate country," exclaimed Miss +Grafton. "You had much better come and live with me." + +Sara looked at her friend with tenderness in her eyes. + +"What would your dragon say?" she asked lightly. "No, Miss Grafton, you +are too happy and resourceful in yourself to need me. You have taught +me to be happy, I want to pass the teaching on. I don't know why my +heart goes out to the lonely and sad ones of the earth, but it does." + +"And what remuneration do you get for this post? That is, if you think +fit to tell me." + +"Forty pounds a year. A nice little addition to my income. I would have +gone if she had offered me twenty." + +There was silence. Then Miss Grafton said— + +"And what are Lacy's views?" + +"I have not told her yet." + +"Surely you have made all these arrangements very prematurely?" + +"I knew what was coming. I wanted to have my plans ready, because I +cannot stand any discussion and argument about a course which I am +determined to take." + +Miss Grafton gave a funny little shake of her head. + +"A stout heart, and a strong will, are more the characteristics of a +man than a woman." + +Then sudden tears came to Sara's eyes. She knelt down by Miss Grafton's +couch, and kissed her. + +"Oh, you don't know what a wave of homesickness and desolation has come +over me to-day. I'm so alone, so unwanted, a superfluous woman on the +face of the earth. If I can't comfort and help this lonely widow, I +don't know what to do next!" + +Miss Grafton looked at her with moisture in her eyes. Then she said +softly— + +"'The works that I do, shall ye do also.' And those works cannot soon +be finished." + +Sara got up. + +"I must go. And I know this is the time for your evening meal. Shall I +ever be such a little saint as you?" + +She left the room as a tall hard-featured maid entered, the maid who +had lived with Miss Grafton all her life, and who would have laid down +her life for her. + + +When she got home, she went up to the smoking-room again. She had +letters to write, and accounts to make up, but she was not left long in +peace. Lacy came in to make up the fire, and lingered purposely. + +"May I speak to you, ma'am, please?" + +Sara wheeled round her chair. + +"Why, Lacy, what a lugubrious face! What is the matter?" + +"I'm only looking ahead, ma'am, and thinking of the time when a new +mistress will be head of this house. And if you will be going to make +your home elsewhere, I hope you'll take me with you. I've been with you +since you were ten years old, and I can't take to new ways and faces at +my time of life." + +"But, my dear Lacy, you know you dote upon Mr. Arnold, and he will be +the head of the house, not his wife. You must stay with him, you really +must. You look after his comforts like no one else, and I am going to +stay in a house where it would be impossible to have you." + +"But couldn't I be your maid, ma'am? You are going away. I guessed you +would. Ladies always take their maids with them on visits." + +Sara began to laugh at the idea of a "companion help" arriving with her +maid. And then she sobered down, and talked soothingly and persuasively +to Lacy, getting her to promise to think of making no change for the +present. + +When Lacy eventually left her, it was dinnertime. She dined alone, and +her thoughts were sad. She did not wait up for her brother's return, +which she usually did, but went early to bed. And so ended an eventful +day and epoch in Sara's life. + + + +CHAPTER II + +AN UNCOMFORTABLE HOUSE + +IT was pitch dark. The air was cold and frosty. Sara wrapped her fur +coat tightly round her as she stepped out on a tiny platform of a +very deserted-looking railway station. One porter with an oil lamp +swinging in his hand went to the van to get her luggage. She had missed +a connecting train on her journey North, and instead of arriving at +her destination at six o'clock, had arrived three hours later. Very +weary she was, and yet cold and nipping as the air was, she welcomed +it gladly after the long hours of waiting in stuffy waiting-rooms with +coke fires, and being cooped up in carriages with fellow passengers who +insisted upon having the windows shut. + +"Is anybody or anything waiting for me?" she asked the porter. + +"Ay, there'll be a 'mon' outside," was the laconic reply. + +She groped her way through the tiny booking-office to the road beyond. +Through the darkness a high dog-cart with a restive horse could be +dimly seen. + +The driver raised his cap to her. In a few moments, she was perched up +by his side, and the porter hoisted up her luggage behind. Then they +set off at a smart canter along a hard frosty road. + +"Do you want another wrap?" the driver asked her. + +His voice was low and gruff, and Sara hardly caught the words. + +"I am quite warm, thank you. I hope I have not kept you waiting. I +missed my train at the junction. The London train was very late." + +"So I heard." + +The man's independence of manner made Sara resolve on silence. Up and +down hills, passing dark shadowy firs, then out on a lonely bit of +moor, and then they began to climb a steep, wild hillside. The darkness +began to lift; clouds rolled away, and a silvery moon appeared. + +Sara looked about her. The cold clear air exhilarated her. She saw +that they were climbing up round the side of a mountain, a deep ravine +fell away from them on one side; below was the gleam of a shining +winding river. Then suddenly they took a sharp turn, and Sara made an +exclamation of delight. Such a scene of surpassing beauty was before +her that she knew she would remember it for the rest of her life. + +The moon was shining across a lake. The bare brown branches of larches +and firs that bordered its banks were frosted, and looked like delicate +lacework against a silver sky; the hills on the farther side stood like +sentinels guarding a treasure. Wild and weird it was in the moonlight, +almost foreign with the wonderful woodland growth around it. Then a +flock of wild ducks flew across with their shrill cry, and owls hooted +as if in response to their appeal. + +Sara in her excitement touched the driver's arm. + +"Stop, just stop for a moment! I have never seen anything like this!" + +The driver pulled up without a word. In perfect silence Sara gazed +upon the scene below her. She felt as if she had been transported to +another world. The taciturn driver beside her, the steaming horse, the +flickering lights on either side of them from their lamps, and the calm +serene moon making a silver road across the rippling waters of the +lake. Was it only a few hours back that she had left foggy, bustling +London? It seemed impossible. She drew a long breath of enjoyment. + +"Oh," she cried impulsively, "I wish we could stay here for ever! It is +enchanting! Exquisite!" + +Then the driver spoke in tense, short tones. + +"The finest scenery in the world would never content a soul." + +"It would content mine!" said Sara. + +He whipped up the horse; a thick-wooded road soon hid the lake from +their view. + +And Sara began to ponder upon his tone and words. + +"A superior man," she mused, "possibly a friendly farmer. I will try +and find out who he is." + +Presently she asked— + +"How much farther is it? Where does Mrs. Laird live?" + +"We shall have to get round to the other side of the lake, about five +miles yet." + +"And are—are you in her employ?" + +How she could have asked the question Sara afterwards wondered. + +He answered shortly—"I am her son." + +"I beg your pardon. It was very kind of you to come to meet me." + +He made no reply, and Sara relapsed into surprised silence. She asked +no more questions. + +Somehow she had imagined the "lonely widow" to be absolutely without +kith or kin. A son had not entered into her calculations. Soon they +began to go downhill, the road seemed interminable. Sara's back began +to ache, and she was conscious how very tired she was. + +When at last they stopped at a gate, she gave a long sigh of relief. +Her driver gave a peculiar whistle, and in a minute or two an old +man holding a lantern appeared. He opened the gate and walked by the +horse's head up a short drive. It was impossible to see any house. No +lights flickered in the windows. Sara stumbled down with cramped stiff +limbs; she was ushered into a gloomy entrance-hall. One dim and smoky +oil lamp hung from the middle of it. + +A door was pushed open, and Sara found herself in an untidy, +comfortless-looking room. The fire was dying out; the remains of a meal +were on the table. A brown collie rose from the hearthrug, and stuffed +his nose into his master's hand, then he inspected Sara, and after +sniffing all round her, returned to his former position. + +Mr. Laird made an exclamation under his breath, then he strode across +the passage. And Sara heard him say in a peremptory fashion— + +"Where is Mrs. Thwaites? Is there no supper? Do you know the fire is +out? Come and light it at once." + +Then an untidy sleepy-looking girl appeared at the door with an armful +of kindlings. Mr. Laird followed her and said— + +"Will you excuse me, Miss Darlington? I must go up to my mother. She +will not settle to sleep until she has seen me." + +Then he disappeared. Sara threw off her fur cloak, and with it her +weary languor. + +"We are very late," she said to the girl. "I suppose you had given up +expecting us. What is your name?" + +"Izzie. Yes, miss, I dropped right off to sleep. I was up soon after +four this morning. And Mrs. Thwaites went off to bed. She had the +toothache cruel." + +"Now I'll light up that fire. Can you bring us any supper? Is there a +kettle boiling?" + +Down on her knees went Sara, and with some coaxing, and the bellows +to assist, she soon had a cheerful blaze. Izzie left the room, and +returned with a cold ham, a currant loaf, and a hot steak pie, the +latter very much burnt. + +Sara saw her clapping the things down on the table, not attempting to +clear the plates and dishes that were already there. + +"'Twas Mr. Pitt, he came in, and brought two other gen'man to see the +cows what are goin' to be sold," said Izzie in a grumbling tone. "And +I meant to have washed up, but I sot down and went bang off, and never +woke till master called!" + +"Well, look here," said Sara with some spirit; "you go straight off to +bed. I'll see to everything. Run along. It's much too late for you to +be up." + +Izzie looked surprised and delighted. + +"Won't master scold?" + +"No. I will be responsible. Run along." + +The girl went. + +"And now the help begins her work!" murmured Sara to herself. + +She was roused to energetic action. The untidy room had definitely +called to her. Within an incredibly short time, she had swept and +tidied up the hearth, cleared away all the dirty dishes, and laid +the table according to her notions of fitness. She put loose books +into the bookcases, hung upon the pegs in the hall two coats and a +fishing-basket. Then she went into the kitchen, and foraged about till +she found some coffee. The kettles were boiling; she boiled some milk, +made some coffee, and was in the act of putting it upon the table, when +Mr. Laird came back. + +He looked surprised at the altered aspect of the room, and for a moment +he and Sara confronted each other. Both found food for thought in their +respective looks. Sara, in her well-cut tailor brown serge gown, her +soft dark hair coiled loosely over her head, and her bright smiling +face, seemed to have brought already with her a sense of comfort and +cheeriness that had been lacking in this house for many a long day. + +Mr. Laird was an enigma to her. He was a thin wiry man, not very young, +and yet, now his thick overcoat was off, looked alert and singularly +upright. His close-cropped head of hair was already streaked with grey +at the temples. He was dressed in rough, well-cut tweeds, and his +hands—Sara found herself glancing at them were well kept, and those +of a gentleman. If she had seen him in London like this, she would +have taken him for a thorough man about town, he had no signs of a +country rustic in his look or bearing. But when she caught his gaze, +she started, for the look of weary sadness in his eyes she had never +witnessed in a man's face before. + +The house appeared to be a second-rate farmhouse. The man was a +well-born, fastidious gentleman. + +"I am sorry you should have had such a poor welcome," he said, "but +this is how we live. Mrs. Thwaites and Izzie run the house, and they +are both incompetent but good-tempered and faithful." + +"I have sent the poor girl to bed, and Mrs. Thwaites has toothache. You +see, I have begun to interfere already. Do you like coffee? There is +some here." + +They drew their chairs up to the table, and for a few moments there was +silence between them. Sara was really hungry, and the hot coffee warmed +and comforted her. She felt now ready for anything, though it was just +eleven o'clock, and she had been travelling since eight o'clock in the +morning. + +"Will Mrs. Laird want to see me to-night?" + +"Oh no. She has settled off to sleep now. Your room is next to hers, +but she will not disturb you. I am sorry—I ought to have shown you your +room." + +"It does not matter," said Sara, smiling; "I have found my way to the +kitchen, and refreshed myself with some hot water there. Now may I ask +if your mother is ill?" + +"She has had great sorrow in her life," said Mr. Laird slowly; "it +has preyed upon her mind, and she needs rousing, but she will not be +managed—I warn you of that." + +"Is she always upstairs, or does she come about the house?" + +"She was downstairs last year, but caught a bad chill the beginning of +this winter, and has been afraid to venture out of her room since." + +Sara looked sober. She wondered if she were going to spend all her time +shut up in a close and airless bedroom. + +Mr. Laird caught her look, and said— + +"I think I had better tell you that six young women have come and gone +during this winter." + +Sara gave a little nod. + +"You want to put me on my mettle," she said, "but I am not superior to +the average woman. If I can help or comfort your mother in the least +degree, I will stay. If I cannot, I shall give way to another, who may +be more successful." + +No more was said. But after their meal was over, Sara insisted upon +clearing the table. At first Mr. Laird offered to help, but she saw he +was unaccustomed to do it, and she said— + +"This is woman's work." + +"We have two servants," he said; "leave it to them." + +"Is this the only sitting-room?" Sara asked. + +"There is another one, but it is rarely used. I eat and drink and smoke +here—and read when I can." + +"Do smoke now. I am accustomed to sit in my brother's smoking-den." + +"If you don't object, I will." + +He took out his pipe, and sat in the big leather armchair by the fire. +His eyes watched her quick deft movements. + +"I always think a room is so uncomfortable with the food left about," +she said; "and I am sure Izzie will be thankful to have it done for +her." + +She took out the plates and dishes into the kitchen. Then with a few +touches, she gave the room a tidy, comfortable look. + +"Now I will say good night. Don't trouble to come upstairs. I shall +find my way." + +But he insisted upon showing her the way to her room. It faced the +staircase, and was fairly large and comfortable, though the cold was +intense. She noticed a door which evidently led into Mrs. Laird's room, +but it was closed. Just for a moment she felt a wave of homesickness +come over her. She would have given worlds then to find herself in her +own luxurious room, with a blazing fire, and Lacy waiting upon her. + +"When to-morrow comes, I shall feel more comfortable," she assured +herself. + +And kneeling down by her bedside, she held communion with the Master +she loved and served. + +Sleep came to her quickly, and she did not wake till Izzie appeared the +next morning with a large can of hot water and a cup of tea. + +"Me and Mrs. Thwaites were having ours, and I thought I'd bring you +one, because you cleared away the supper last night for me," Izzie said +gratefully. + +"That's very kind of you," said Sara. + +She drank her tea, then slipped on her warm dressing-gown and looked +out of her window. It was grey and cold, the house evidently stood +on an easy slope. At the bottom of a small lawn was a belt of firs, +beyond them a steep descent of wood and undergrowth, and then the lake +stretched away calm and still. The hills in the distance were shrouded +with the morning mist. + +Then her eyes travelled inwards round her room. Her small bed faced the +window, which was broad and low and had a deep window-seat. On one side +was her dressing-table, on the other a writing-table, against which was +drawn up a cushioned wicker chair. There was a curious old-fashioned +bureau in one corner of the room, the upper half of which held some +books behind glass doors. + +Sara inspected these and found them chiefly to consist of theological +and religious works, and a few volumes of Scott's poems. Two of +Dickens's stories were the only books of fiction there. Thick crimson +serge curtains hung from the window, and a crimson drugget was under +foot. The furniture was of good old-fashioned mahogany, the pictures on +the walls were of the early Victorian type. + +"If I had a fire," she thought, "I should be thoroughly comfortable! +But if it remains as cold as this, I shall not stay longer in my +bedroom than I can help." + +She dressed herself quickly, longing to get out of doors and explore. + +Though she had been a Londoner for some years, she had a passionate +love for the country. The sense of quiet free space outside, the +absence of any noise except the twittering of birds, and soughing of +the wind in the trees, filled her soul with delight. It took her memory +back to mornings like this when she had ridden with her father after +the hounds, when the fresh keen morning air came to her like nectar, +and sent the blood rushing through her veins, till she felt ready to do +and dare anything. She came to breakfast with bright eyes. + +Mr. Laird hardly looked at her, he seemed absorbed in thought. And they +had a very silent meal together. + +Sara was feasting her soul upon the view through the low casement +windows. The sun was struggling through dense masses of grey woolly +clouds, and touching the distant hills with streaks of light and +shadow. Then blue sky appeared and reflected itself in the lake below. + +"Oh," thought Sara with joy, "what will it be like when summer is here?" + +Mr. Laird, moving from the table, was almost startled by her vivid +brightness. + +"You have not seen my mother yet?" + +"No, I am waiting till she sends for me. + +"She likes her breakfast taken to her after we have finished ours. She +will tell you the order of things. I shall be out all day to-day and +shall not be home till six or seven." + +Sara thought that his comings and goings would be a matter of +indifference to her. She felt that he considered her an inferior sort +of being to himself, and she rather resented it. + +Taking his hint, she went out to the kitchens and asked for Mrs. +Laird's breakfast tray. Mrs. Thwaites, a fat untidy-looking woman, +looked up. + +"You're the new young lady," she said with a little wheezy sigh. "They +come in streams and generally leave before their month. And I'm fair +sick of telling where everything be! The tray's over there, and the +bread and butter on that table. She'll like a bit of toast made. You +can do that off the dining-room fire, and I'll poach an egg and throw +in a bit of bacon. She takes tea, and you get the cups and saucers from +the chiny pantry on the left of you." + + +About ten minutes later Sara climbed the stairs, tray in hand. She +knocked at the bedroom door next hers, and then opened it. She was +agreeably surprised by the size of the room. Two big windows faced her. +There was a fire in the grate. A big four-post bed stood on one side. +There was a round table with a green cloth in the middle of the room +on which was piled a number of books and papers. And in an easy-chair +by the fire in a warm wrapper sat Mrs. Laird. Her hair was white, +her complexion sallow, and her eyes dark and restless. Yet she was a +handsome woman still, and bore the impress of a gentlewoman. Sara met +her sharp keen gaze with great serenity. + +"Good morning, Mrs. Laird. I hope I am not late with your breakfast, +but the first morning, things are strange to me." + +She had with her quick eyes seen a small round table by the bedside +upon which she placed the tray, then lifted it in front of the invalid. + +"You look strong enough," said Mrs. Laird. "That is one of their +excuses, their health suffers from the climate. I am weary of seeing +fresh faces. The young ones make love to my son; the old ones complain +that the loneliness of this place gets upon their nerves. What will be +your excuse, I wonder." + +"To get away?" queried Sara, with a little laugh. "Oh, I shall go if I +can't do you any good—if I can't make you happy!" + +"Happy!" + +There was unutterable scorn in the tone. + +"Do you think I have engaged you to make me happy? Nobody in the wide +world could do that. Happiness and I are as far apart as the North is +from the South. What could my son have written to make you imagine such +a thing?" + +"I did not know the letter I received was from Mr. Laird, I thought +it was from yourself," said Sara with surprise. She reminded herself +of the "comfort and cheerful society" she was expected to bring, but +wisely said no more. + +Mrs. Laird looked at her breakfast with an invalid's querulousness. + +"I don't feel inclined for anything, but you can leave me now. There is +a bunch of keys over there. Go down to the kitchen and give out from +the store cupboard the stores that will be needed for the day. I never +leave the stores unlocked. It will be in your charge, and you must +replenish the things as needed. + +"Consult with Mrs. Thwaites about meals. I want you to undertake the +housekeeping; she is a very fair cook, but has no head, and prefers to +carry out orders given to her. I will ring when I want you. And you +will have to look after Izzie, she is lazy and careless and not very +clean, but she is Mrs. Thwaites's niece, and an orphan, so we keep her +on." + +Sara departed, glad to have some details of what she was required +to do. And she found a good deal to employ both head and hands that +morning. She went up later to help Mrs. Laird dress, and then she read +the newspaper to her, but she could not persuade her to leave her room. + +In the afternoon, Mrs. Laird had a nap, and for an hour Sara was off +duty. She escaped from the house, and made acquaintance with the garden +and small farmyard attached to it. Old Samuel, the one outdoor servant +kept, was groom and gardener and general farm help. He gave her one +bit of information, and that was that Mr. Laird was agent for a very +big property that lay on the other side of the lake belonging to a Sir +Malcolm Ferris. + + +Mr. Laird came home about half-past six that day. He took off his +outdoor boots, and then, tired as he was, slipped softly up to his +mother's room. + +A strange sound and sight awaited him. The room was in firelight; +his mother sat back in the shadow of a screen placed between her and +the fire. Seated on a low chair in the firelight was Sara, a guitar +was slung round her neck. The scarlet ribbon made a bright spot of +colour. She wore a very simple black velvet gown, but the lace collar +and sleeves were of old Mecklin lace, and she was singing in a sweet +contralto some simple little pathetic songs. There was a rich lilt in +Sara's voice that appealed to all who heard her sing. She had the gift +of bringing to her audience both tears and laughter. + +She was finishing a song now, and her tone was softly gay. + + "So boy and girl sat side by side + Their differences forgotten, + For life is short, and time is sweet + When first love is begotten." + +She laid down her guitar as she finished her little song. + +"We are having some music," she said brightly. + +"So I hear," said Mr. Laird, with great gravity, and Sara slipped out +of the room. + + + +CHAPTER III + +A ROW UPON THE LAKE + +WHEN mother and son were alone, Mrs. Laird said fretfully— + +"She's a very new broom! But they all begin so well." + +Her son shook his head. There was an amused gleam in his eye. + +"No, mother; three have informed me the first morning at breakfast that +it was not what they expected. She has not done that yet. What a pretty +voice she has!" + +"So she seems to think herself. She insisted upon my listening to her. +But so far I must say she knows how to bring the sense of comfort and +order with her. Do you notice how tidy my room is? She wants me to go +into her room to-morrow, whilst she and Izzie have a clean out. She is +full of energy and reform, but it won't last." + +"She has brought you a pretty nosegay of red berries and leaves." + +"Yes, but they give me no pleasure." + +A heavy sigh followed. + +Mother and son had half an hour's chat together. Then a tempting little +supper-tray appeared. Sara brought it. And when a quarter of an hour +later, she came to the dining-room, she found Mr. Laird ready for his +evening meal. + +He had lost his touch of reserve. Both of them chatted together in an +easy unembarrassed manner. Then when Izzie came in and removed the +cloth, Mr. Laird took out his pipe. And when she had left the room, he +said— + +"I wish you could try to get my mother downstairs, Miss Darlington. +There is no reason why she should not venture. The change of atmosphere +would do her good." + +"She speaks as if it were impossible. She seems to imagine she might be +worried with visitors. Have you any?" + +"You can imagine not many!" + +"Is there any real reason why Mrs. Laird should not meet people?" + +He took his pipe out of his mouth, and looked at her. Was this +audacity, or the result of a keen observation, he wondered. He had +never had such a question put to him before. + +Sara quietly waited for his reply. + +"Why do you ask such a question?" he asked. + +"Because I want to help your mother. I see she has something on her +mind; is it a delusion? I was singing a little song of a tiny girl's +talk with her mother about her dead father, and she stopped me with +agony of tone and gesture— + +"'Never mention a girl child to me!' she cried. 'For one moment I +thought I was free from the haunting thought of her!' + +"'I am sorry,' I said. + +"'Sorry!' she cried. 'You sang that song on purpose! You are cruel! Do +you think my punishment is not already greater than I can bear?' + +"Then she saw my astonishment, and said no more." + +"My mother has grown morbid," Mr. Laird said slowly. "She has had a +great sorrow. I have told you so. You must bear patiently with her, and +try to get her from thinking too much." + +"Ah!" said Sara. "That is a hard task. But I will do my best. And now I +think it is time I went up to her. I shall stay with her till she is in +bed; so I shall not come down again. Good night." + +Mr. Laird sprang up, held open the door for her, and when she had gone, +tumbled back into his seat again. + +"She is angry, because I won't tell her," he muttered. "Well, there is +plenty of time. I've never told any of her predecessors. But she is +different to any of them. Can't think why she takes such a post. It's +like old times—to see a woman of that sort opposite one at table." + +Upstairs Sara was finding Mrs. Laird difficult to please. She was very +irritable, and nothing that Sara did was right. + +"I'm tired of trying to train young women to my ways. It's only +Graham's whim that I should have some one about me. Now, don't hurry +me. I suppose you are like the rest of them, wanting to get down and +make yourself pleasant to him." + +For one moment an angry spark shot from Sara's eyes, then she said with +extreme quietness— + +"I wished Mr. Laird good night before I came up. You must not say such +things to me, Mrs. Laird, not until I deserve them. I have been too +much accustomed to men to take any special notice of your son. If we +are to live happily together, you must believe that I am single woman +by choice, and am far too content to be such to ever wish to try to +alter my state." + +"One of these rampant suffragettes, I suppose!" + +"No," said Sara, laughing; "I emphatically am not one of them. And now +will you let me brush your hair?" + +She talked away quite pleasantly. Her gentle deft ways soothed the old +lady. When she was comfortably in bed enjoying what her son called her +"nightcap," Sara said— + +"Would you like me to read you the evening Psalms before I leave you?" + +"Why should you? I burnt my Bible and Prayer-book long ago, and all the +pious books which I possessed. I am not a hypocrite, and if there is a +God, He has treated me so inhumanly that I never wish to see His Face." + +Sara was shocked, but she did not expostulate. + +"I have my Prayer-book in the next room; please let me read to you." + +She opened the door into her room, and came back with the book in her +hand. + +Mrs. Laird said no more. In a soft, reverent voice Sara read the +evening Psalms. She made no comment on them, and Mrs. Laird did not +speak again. + +Then Sara went to her room, and occupied her time by writing a letter +to her brother. + + "MY DEAREST ARNOLD, + + "Here I am as far from town seemingly as Kamschatka is! But oh, the +beauty of the scene from my window! I have just had a peep out. Do you +know we're in the heart of the lake country, a lake is down below me +framed with blue hills, and the moon is on it now, and the hoar frost +makes the woods like fairyland! My dear boy, don't give me a pitying +thought. All my desires and hopes and energies and machinations are +centred in an old lady, who is in the next room to me. I am going to be +her physician, nurse, and friend, all rolled into one. + + "You know how I adore old people, so rest assured I am having a good +time. I am given 'carte blanche' to manage her household, and I have +two very good-natured and inefficient servants to deal with. We live +in a solid square granite house, but it has its redeeming points, +mullioned windows, oak beams across the lower rooms, and is a genuine +fourteenth-century manor house. + + "Mrs. Laird's son, who lives with her, is agent to a big landowner +near us. They are gentle-people, and I am at present quite content with +my enterprise. Good-bye, old boy. I know you live in the clouds, but +Millie will be with you, and I hope that Lacy makes you comfortable. + + "Ever your own sister, + + "SARA." + +She sat for a moment after writing this letter with her cheek in her +hand. Her eyes grew very soft and tender. + +"A soured embittered sorrowful woman," she said to herself, "and more +behind than I am allowed to know. How I hope I may bring her comfort!" + +Comfort of body Sara certainly did bring her employer from the moment +she entered the house. In a few days, her room was a picture of dainty +freshness. + +The whole house was the better for Sara's presence. She did not scold +Izzie for her untidiness and want of thoroughness in her cleaning. She +simply tidied and cleaned herself, until from very shame Izzie learnt +to do better. + +Every evening when dusk fell, Sara played and sang to Mrs. Laird. But +she always laid aside her guitar when Graham Laird entered the room. + +She did not know that he often crept up quietly and sat on the top +stair of the old staircase outside, listening for some time before he +opened the door. + +Except at meal times, they did not meet much; and Mrs. Laird was quite +content that it should be so. Sara read to her and talked to her, and +Sara was a very good talker. She had travelled, and had met a good +many interesting people. She produced some easy fancy-work which she +persuaded Mrs. Laird to work at. She herself began to make chintz +covers for the shabby couch and chairs in the bedroom. + +Shopping by post was a new experience to Mrs. Laird; she began to take +interest in the patterns and parcels, and was almost bright whilst +opening and discussing them. But Sara soon found her black moods of +gloom more frequent, as she became accustomed to her. There were days +when she would not utter one word, and when she could with the greatest +difficulty be persuaded upon to take her meals. + +"Why should I eat?" she exclaimed suddenly one day. "Why should I try +to prolong my miserable life? Am I of any use to any one in the whole +wide world? Would not Graham shut up the house with glee and go back to +his former world feeling like an escaped prisoner if I were only out of +the way? Prisoner! It is I who ought to be a prisoner. I should have +felt better had they made me suffer as I deserved!" + +Sara found the best way was to ignore such speeches as these, but they +made her think. + + +One afternoon she found her way down to the lake. It was a still bright +day in February. To her surprise, she came upon a boat lightly tied to +a post outside a boathouse. She had often rowed on the Thames with her +brother, and seeing the calm stillness of the water, a longing seized +her to go out in it. + +The boat was swaying up and down, the gentle lap of the water against +its sides seemed to invite to her to venture. In another moment, she +had lightly jumped in, unmoored it, and taking the oars, began to row +out with long easy strokes. + +She was absolutely happy, and gave herself up to the enjoyment of +her surroundings. Exercise kept her warm, and the hills with their +wonderful lights and shadows reaching down to the water's edge +fascinated her. Time slipped away, and then suddenly she was aware of a +hoarse shout in the distance. + +She pulled round and saw two men calling to her from the shore. For a +moment she felt guilty, and imagined that she had no right to be in the +boat. Then she looked up and saw a thick roll of black cloud coming +towards her from over the hills. At the same moment, a sudden wind bore +down upon the lake, and in a few minutes more the waves were tossing +her up and down in sudden fury. + +She set her teeth, and turned back in the direction of the shore. She +had heard of these sudden squalls that swept across inland lakes, and +knew she would need all her wits and strength to return in safety. + +Happily the wind was driving her in the direction she wished to go, but +occasionally it would veer round, and to her excited imagination seemed +like some demon determined to upset her. The boat tossed up and down as +if it were on an angry sea. Waves began to wash over the boat and into +it, and at last one broke over her. + +Drenched to the skin, she shipped her oars, then felt under the seat, +and to her relief found a big can, with which she instantly began to +bale out the water. When she could, she took up her oars again. Twice +she thought she was going to be upset. Still, she laboured at her +rowing. The shore seemed to recede instead of becoming nearer. Her +hands were blistered, her breath came in great gasps. Gradually her +strength began to fail her. But Sara's will was strong, and she would +not give in to being beaten. + +She saw the men watching her anxiously; one had a rope ready to fling, +and that gave her fresh courage. As she slowly approached them, she +heard a whizz and a hiss through the air, and a small coil of rope fell +neatly into the boat. She saw that one man had got hold of the other +end. Without any hesitation she made her end of it fast to the painter. +A sense of security came to her, but she did not slacken in her rowing, +and though the waves were now dashing into the boat, she did not stop +to bale out the water. + +And at last, she came to shore driving her boat with a dash against the +rough stone pier. The next moment she was being helped out of it by +Graham Laird, and she sank exhausted to the ground. Another man was by +Graham's side, and it was he who spoke first— + +"Now, don't have hysterics! Don't spoil your courage! I couldn't have +fought through better myself, and Graham and I are accustomed to +squalls!" + +Sara looked up a little indignantly— + +"I am only breathless. You must have mercy!" + +Graham said nothing, he was occupied in fastening the boat to its +moorings. When his task was done, Sara was able to get upon her feet. + +He looked at her. + +"The quicker you get home the better, for you are drenched. It's a +mercy we caught sight of you before you had gone too far out! If you +had asked me, I would have warned you against trusting the weather +to-day. I had better introduce my friend, Colonel Fleming, to you." + +Sara looked at Colonel Fleming with a little laugh. + +He was a square, sturdily built man, with fair hair and blonde +moustache, his face was tanned with an outdoor life, and when Sara +laughed, his eyes twinkled. + +"Have you been accustomed to hysterical women?" she asked. "I am not +one of them. I'm afraid I took out the boat on the impulse of the +moment. I did not know or care who owned it. These wilds make one do +and dare anything!" + +She turned and made her way up the little lane which led to the house. +The men accompanied her, but as they reached the hall door, Graham +turned into the yard to see to something. + +"I am coming in for some tea," said Colonel Fleming; "I hope you are +going to give it to us. Graham Laird and I are very old chums. I moved +up here to be near him. I'm farming my own land—about three miles off, +that's all. You haven't been here long?" + +"No," said Sara with reserve, feeling that Colonel Fleming was oddly +communicative. "You will excuse me, I must change my wet things." + +"Of course, of course. Hope you won't take cold. I'm quite at home. +Don't mind me." + +Sara vanished upstairs. She was feeling shivery and shaken by her +experience. But when she had got into dry clothes, she felt better, and +went into Mrs. Laird's room before going down to tea. She told her of +her misadventures, for she always tried to give the invalid all details +of her walks abroad. + +When Mrs. Laird heard that Colonel Fleming was downstairs, she said— + +"That man is too ridiculous in his adoration for Graham. He worries him +to death by always hanging round." + +"I thought they were friends." + +"So they are, or were, but you can have too much of a good thing." + +"Hasn't he a wife?" + +"He had, but he had to divorce her. I am thankful we have no wives in +the neighborhood. I never have a visitor; and if one did come, I should +not see them. Go downstairs and give those men their tea, and then come +up to me again." + +So Sara went down in her russet-brown serge gown. Her pink colour and +bright eyes made her look unusually fresh and girlish. + +"You are evidently none the worse for your wetting," said Colonel +Fleming. "Do you know that several rash boatmen have been drowned in a +squall like the one we had this afternoon?" + +"I will profit by my experience," said Sara, sedately, "and not venture +boating again until the weather is settled." + +"Tell me when you want to use the boat," said Graham; "and then I shall +be able to tell you whether it is safe to venture. Storms sweep down +very suddenly from our hills." + +"Yes, I was ignorant and foolhardy," acknowledged Sara, "but how +delicious it was down there before the storm came on! You seem framed +in a little world all to yourself, I loved it!" + +"How strange is the variety of human nature!" said Colonel Fleming. "I +should be bored to death unless I were fishing. To row aimlessly about +in a boat would be dull work to me. No object in it!" + +"You are a sportsman, I suppose?" + +"I suppose I am, though I pride myself on being a working man now, +don't I, Graham?" + +They talked away; Graham Laird showing himself in quite a different +light as he and his friend discussed things together. He was brighter +and keener than Sara had ever seen him before. Then a message came to +him from his mother through Izzie saying that she wanted to see him at +once. He left his tea unfinished, as he promptly obeyed the summons. + +Colonel Fleming gave his head a comical little shake as he looked +across at Sara. + +"A man of one idea, he is. It's just his mother. Awfully good son, +isn't he?" + +"Yes," assented Sara. + +"So glad you're a cheerful soul. He wants cheering in this hole! +Personally I believe in cheerfulness—it's essential to body and soul. +I'm a bit of a philosopher in my way. I've knocked about in different +parts of the world, and gone under the hammer as I call it, and +I've learnt this much, that one is bound to be hammered sooner or +later—beaten gold, you know! And bad though the time may be, it passes. +It is bound to pass. The trick is to extract as much enjoyment as you +can. Get the honey out of the dead carcase, like that chap in the +Bible—Samson, wasn't his name? That's what I tell Graham. + +"He's been under the hammer, Miss Darlington, for fifteen years, some +of the best years of his life, and his mother, poor soul, is likely to +give him a good many more years of it still. But he's got to clench +his teeth and be cheerful. I keep him at it! We did some game shooting +when we were out in India together. Did you know he was in the woods +and forests there? A good appointment, but he chucked it and came home +directly his mother was in trouble. And having been boss over a pretty +big district, things go hard with him now when he has to knuckle under +to one of these petty chiefs as I call them. Not that Malcolm Ferris is +a bad chap, but he has rather a swelled head, and imagines his agent a +bailiff." + +He paused for breath. Sara looked thoughtful. Then he went on— + +"So cheer up the old lady, Miss Darlington, and you will cheer him up. +It's his dark time, but it will pass—as I say—it will pass." + +"Yes," said Sara, with shining eyes, "and if we remember Who wields the +hammer as you call it, we ought to do more than simply endure it!" + +"Quite so—my old mother—bless her soul—taught me these things when I +was a boy, soaked me in them—and they've all come back. I've lived to +see them come true. Get him to church, Miss Darlington. It's only three +miles off, quite a nice walk. And the parson's a friend of mine, lives +his religion out—you know what I mean?" + +They heard Graham's approaching step. Colonel Fleming nodded at her. + +"Thought you were a good woman. Do your job thoroughly, and you'll have +the thanks of two people for it!" + +Sara wondered what he meant. Her heart warmed to this short sturdy +little man. She felt glad she knew him. Though he was plain in +features, there was something extremely attractive in his happy eyes +and cheerful voice. + +And when she went up to Mrs. Laird's room, she carried with her +an extra amount of cheeriness. She was stimulated afresh to bring +happiness to this lonely woman. But she very naturally wished to know +what was the nature of her trouble, and how it had taken such complete +and masterful possession of her spirit. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +SPRINGTIME + +THE first Sunday had been so wet that there was no question of church. + +The next week Sara asked at breakfast how far the church was. + +"I should like to go, if I may. It doesn't seem Sunday to me without +church." + +"To tell you the truth, I never like the horse out on Sunday. I give +him one day's rest a week, poor brute! I work him pretty hard the +remaining six." + +"But I'm a good walker, and should enjoy it." + +"You would lose your way, unless you went round by the road, and that +would be a good five miles. It's barely three across the hills." + +"I suppose you wouldn't be able to come too, to show me the way?" + +In another woman this might have been coquetry. But Sara was so frank +and straightforward in everything she said and did that Graham knew she +simply meant what she said. + +"I might possibly," he said, "but I generally sit with my mother on +Sunday morning." + +"Then never mind. Give me a few directions, and I will find my way. But +I should like to go." + +An hour later Sara, wrapped in her thick tweed coat and skirt and furs, +was ready to start. Graham joined her in the hall. She saw he had +changed into a navy blue suit. + +He gave a short little laugh as he met her eyes. + +"I haven't done this for many a year, but my mother has spared me, and +I'll sit with her this afternoon instead. Now then, we shall have to +step out." + +They skirted the grounds, then turned their back to the lake, and +before very long were treading a rough sheep-track over the hills. The +air was fresh and bracing, and the sun was shining. + +Sara's firm easy tread showed that she was, as she said, a good walker. + +"I have been walking-tours with my brother. I love it." + +"How did you know we had a church near us?" + +"Colonel Fleming mentioned it." + +"I guessed as much." + +There was amusement in his tone. + +"Fleming is a queer fellow. He's the last man in the world whom I +should have counted on making a good farmer, but he's quite enamoured +with his farm, and isn't doing badly." + +"I should think he has a happy nature," said Sara, slowly. + +"He's been through trouble. His wife ran off with another man. It was +very dreadful, and the affair has left its mark on him. He's a born +optimist, that's what he is! And he likes to take a hand in everything +going. You'll see him reading the lessons in this small church—he's a +good Churchman." + +"I love to see people take their troubles courageously," said Sara. "It +sends the same thrill through me that gallant fighting does against a +superior foe." + +"I'm afraid you have not much sympathy for my poor mother, then. She is +one of the crushed ones on the earth. Life is very hard on some." + +"Oh, I was not thinking of your mother, indeed I was not! Of course I +do not know her trouble, but she is physically weak in body, and that +always tells against one." + +"Do you think you will be able to stay with her?" + +"I will stay as long as she wants me," said Sara, quietly. + +"I don't feel like giving my mother away to any one who is here to-day +and gone to-morrow, but she seems to have taken an extraordinary liking +to you." + +He smiled a little, and added— + +"She told me to come with you this morning. + +"'I want her to settle down with us,' she said, 'and she won't do it +unless she finds a church. I know her sort!' + +"So I'm to show you the way to-day, and then you can have every Sunday +morning for church-going!" + +"That's very kind of her," said Sara, with twinkling eyes. She wondered +if Mrs. Laird's secret was to be disclosed, but Graham seemed purposely +to wander from the point. + +Then Sara said very gravely— + +"Your mother is right, Mr. Laird, I could not be happy here if I never +went to church. It helps the spiritual part of one's life so much." + +"I have no spiritual part in my composition," said Graham, lightly; "so +it doesn't trouble me. I believe in God as our Creator, but then I take +it that He shows Himself in all His works, and doesn't require to be +imprisoned in a small building to reveal Himself to His creatures." + +"Yes, I know some people believe they can worship by themselves +anywhere, but I can't. The Bible teaches one differently." + +"Do you see that small village tucked away down there?" said Graham, +pointing in front of them to a valley in the indentation of two hills. +"That is Torry Fell, where our church is, and also the nearest shops. +Now look over that line of hills, do you see the smoke rising from +furnaces? That is our nearest town. Have you ever lived so far-away, +before, from all human beings?" + +"No. I do not think I have, but it is a very pleasant change from +London. I am country bred and born, so no wonder my heart goes back to +it." + +She added after a little silence— + +"I think I shall often come up on these hills. I love the short springy +turf, and the boulders of rock with their crannies full of moss and +fern and stonecrop. I suppose the heather comes out in the summer?" + +"There is not much on this hill, but even here it is dangerous, so +don't be too venturesome. Mists come on suddenly, and so do storms. +The lake must have taught you that. It's easy to miss one's way, and +there's a sharp side to most of these hills, where rocks and precipices +abound." + +"I suppose shepherds live on them. What is that odd-looking little hut +tucked under that overhanging rock?" + +"We won't go past it. Old Reuben Cleave lives there with his daughter. +He's a herb doctor—the country folk have great faith in him, and some +of them come tramping out here from the town. He's a queer old man—seen +better days, I fancy. Some say he went through a medical course at one +time." + +"How desolate for his daughter!" + +"She's close on fifty, and lame. They're happy enough. I lend her books +occasionally, but they have a great dislike to strangers, especially +ladies. People do get queer when they live much alone. I'm inclined to +myself. Fleming considers he helps to keep me sane." + +"But you have work," said Sara, feeling touched by this little bit of +confidence; "nobody need be dull or lonely when they have work to do." + +"That's true." + +He caught his breath. + +"That's where my mother is at a disadvantage." + +"Oh," said Sara, briskly, "she and I are going to be very busy. We have +just started making rugs. We shall surprise you by our industry soon." + +"I congratulate you. When the warmer weather comes, you must get her +out. I'm a great believer in fresh air." + +"She seems to have a terrible shrinking from it," said Sara. + +"Yes, every winter she gets worse. But I hope you'll overcome her +dislike." + +They tramped along. Then they wound their steps down to Torry Fell, and +arrived at the church just as the bell had stopped tolling. + +It was a small grey stone building, and had a very fair congregation of +working people in it. + +One sweet-faced woman sat with two children on each side of her, and +Sara rightly conjectured her to be the vicar's wife. The service was +simple and hearty. Colonel Fleming read the lessons and the vicar +preached a sermon on the text, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God." + +He was an earnest and eloquent preacher. The "first thing" in life was +his theme, and when the service was over and Colonel Fleming joined +them in the churchyard, Graham said— + +"I like your parson. He's a man. A pity there are not a few more like +him." + +"There are plenty of them," said the cheerful little Colonel, "only +they're scattered broadcast over the world, and the heathen get some of +the best. Well, Miss Darlington, haven't you enjoyed the walk? I wish +my house was on your way, I'd ask you in to have some refreshment, but +I'm a mile and a half away in the other direction." + +"I came to show Miss Darlington the way," said Graham. + +"Hope you'll show her it another Sunday," said Colonel Fleming. + +Graham made a slight movement of dissent. + +And after a little further talk, he and Sara returned home over the +hills. They had a very silent walk back. Sara was quite happy in +following her own thoughts. + +She started, when Graham said at length— + +"You look very happy. I'm afraid I'm rather unsociable, I have grown +so." + +"Why should we talk if we have nothing to say?" said Sara, laughing. +"Yes, I am happy; the sun and air are delicious. We have been brought +a little nearer our unseen Kingdom this morning, and I haven't a care +in the world! I am glad when I am away from your mother to be able to +bottle up the outside sunshine and take some of it back with me to her +room." + +Then seeing a shadow fall over his face at the mention of his mother, +she added— + +"And I am looking forward to the spring so! I feel sure I shall be able +to get her out. And then she will be brighter, I know." + +"It's to be hoped she will." + +When they reached home, they found Mrs. Laird plunged into one of her +moods of gloom. Not even the company of her son that afternoon removed +it. Sara pitied him when she went upstairs to relieve him, for he +looked careworn and sad, but he was always very silent when his mother +was extra difficult to deal with, and Sara wisely left him alone. + + +The next day Mrs. Laird was a little brighter. + +Sara generally had an hour's walk in the afternoon. When she came back, +Izzie met her in the hall in floods of tears, and when asked what was +the matter said the "Missis" had been so angry with her that she had +terrified her. + +"She rang her bell, and I went up and put more coals on the fire, and +I some'ow stumbled, and caught hold of the manty shelf, and a little +chiny cup and saucer fell off, and broke into smithereens! She got up +out of her chair and sweared at me, and raised her stick to strike at +me. I never seed nobody in such a fury before! She said 'twas the only +things she vallied in the 'ouse. And I telled her I were sorry, but +'twas no good. And then she began to shake and tremble, and then she +give me notice to leave, and I've just comed downstairs!" + +Sara tried to cheer the girl by telling her she would intercede for +her. And then she went upstairs and found Mrs. Laird leaning back in +her chair, looking very white and exhausted. + +She looked up at Sara when she came in, and her eyes were full of a +haunting horror. + +"I've broken out again!" she said, with a pitiful little cry. "After +fifteen years and an eternity of remorse, I find my temper is not yet +under my control. It's just a chance you didn't come in and find Izzie +stretched dead at my feet. I nearly struck her, but I remembered—oh, I +remembered!" + +Sara hardly knew what to say or do. She just knelt down and kissed the +worn and haggard face. + +"Never mind!" she said soothingly. "Izzie is unhurt, and we all lose +our tempers sometimes. What was it she broke?" + +"It was the last thing Dorrie gave me—her last birthday present. And it +is destroyed. I suppose even the comfort of that is to be denied to me! +Oh, I wish I could die, and end it all." + +"I wish you would tell me your trouble," said Sara, softly, "and then +we could talk about it together, and see if some comfort could not be +had." + +Mrs. Laird shook her head. Her brief fit of passion had left her quite +exhausted. + +Sara left her, and soon returned with a tray on which a dainty little +tea had been laid. Mrs. Laird needed some coaxing before she took +anything, but she was persuaded to eat at last, and felt much better +after it. + +Then Sara had to go downstairs and comfort Izzie. Mrs. Thwaites was the +only unruffled one. Nothing ever upset her equanimity. + +"If Izzie did get sharp speaking, 'twill do her good. She's never had a +stick broken across her back, like my feyther did to all of us when we +were children." + +When Graham came home, Sara said nothing to him about the small tempest +that had arisen, but she fancied his mother must have done so, as he +was peculiarly silent and absorbed during the evening meal. + + +Two or three evenings afterwards, Sara was reading the evening Psalms +as usual, when for the first time, Mrs. Laird made a comment upon them. + +"I wonder you're so fond of those Psalms. They're simply Eastern songs +of hate or love." + +"Oh no, no," said Sara, eagerly and earnestly. "They may have been sung +in the Temple worship, but they were the heartfelt experience of one +of the Saints. He poured out his soul in them. I think the one golden +thread that runs through them is the unswerving trust and confidence +in God. David had a terribly sad and difficult life, and he made many +mistakes, but his faith never failed, and God was in all his thoughts." + +"David never sinned beyond forgiveness." + +"None of us can do that, but he did sin grievously. Look how he killed +a man because he coveted his wife!" + +"He never killed him with his own hands," said Mrs. Laird, quickly and +feverishly. "He had no blood-stain upon 'his' hands." + +"I think the way he did it was as bad as it could be, for he acted like +a coward, but he repented and was forgiven." + +Mrs. Laird shook her head rather sadly. + +"Sin brings its own punishment," she said. "It is more than a life for +a life; that would be easy to bear." + +Sara puzzled over these remarks. But for the time she remained +unenlightened. + + +The short days now began to lengthen; the bare brown branches of the +trees swelled with bud. In the garden, a few straggling daffodils +peeped out through the long grass. Sara asked if she might take the +garden in hand. + +Colonel Fleming came in one afternoon, and found her struggling with an +overgrown flower-bed, now a mass of thistles and weeds. + +"That is man's work," he said, shaking hands with her. + +Sara laughed, and took off her straw hat, fanning her heated face with +it. + +"It isn't Samuel's work. I have as good a muscle in my right arm as he +has any day! He told me so yesterday— + +"'The horse and the trap and the 'arness and the cattle, not to speak +of the yards and sheds, and the vegetables to be tilled, is mor'en I +shall manage; flowers is ladies' fancies. If so be as they wants to +grow 'em, why, let 'em do it, says I!' + +"So I'm doing it, you see!" + +"I could send you round a boy who lives at my gate," said the Colonel. +"His mother is looking out for a job for him. Say the word and I will +do it." + +"But I can't do that. I am neither the master nor mistress here." + +"You can do anything you like in this house, I'm pretty sure!" + +Sara shook her head, and Graham joining them at this moment was +appealed to by his friend. + +"Of course if you can send round a lad, I shall be delighted for Miss +Darlington to set him to work. The fact is, I haven't cared for the +garden, and I've let it go. Boy labour is scarce about here." + +"Come over and see him yourself, Miss Darlington," said Colonel +Fleming. "I'll give you tea." + +"Thank you, but I must be here at tea-time. Mrs. Laird expects me to +be. But I could walk over very early in the afternoon if necessary." + +"It isn't necessary at all," Graham said, shortly. "Send him along, +Jack, we'll try him." + +So Ted Cranley appeared the next day, and worked steadily in the flower +garden under Sara's superintendence, until order and beauty reigned +instead of chaos. Sara sent for flower seeds, she talked to Mrs. Laird +about the flower garden she meant to have. + +"And then you will be able to come down and help me enjoy the flowers," +she said to her. + +"No, I cannot leave my room." + +"You don't know what you'll be able to do when the warmer weather +comes. I want to row you out in a boat upon the lake. Don't look so +startled! It's exquisite down there. You have no idea of all the +beautiful places round about you." + +"I came to this wild spot because I needed a refuge," said Mrs. Laird +very solemnly. "I wished to bury myself from everybody and everything." + +"But you choose a most exquisite refuge," persisted Sara; "and you can +be as much alone out of doors as you can indoors. You wait and see." + +She worked away cheerfully in her garden. + + +Graham found her in it when he came home, and she was generally singing +softly to herself. He stood and watched her one day. + +She was pruning a rosebush, and she sang as she worked— + + "All day I wear a flowery crown, + Flowers, only flowers: + At night by flowers I lay me down, + Oh, the sunny hours! + Breath of angels, hues of heaven, + Surely to the flowers are given, + Bring more flowers." + +"I do believe you are happy here!" he said. + +She turned, pruning scissors in hand, for she did not know he was near. + +"Of course I am," she said. "Why should I not be? And the feeling of +spring in the air makes all our pulses beat quicker, and our hearts +throb with hope." + +"I believe it does," he returned; and there was a light in his eye and +a spring in his tread as he went on into the house. + + + +CHAPTER V + +A DAY OUT + +"DOES a companion ever have a 'day out'?" + +This astonishing question was put to Graham the next morning by Sara +herself. + +His startled look made her laugh. + +"I was wondering," she went on. "Izzie had her day out last week. It +made me want to go too." + +"Are you in such bondage, then?" Graham asked. "You know you have only +to express a wish to have it granted." + +"That's nicely put. But I never want to get away from my position. +And if I am not entitled to a day, I won't ask for it. Did any of my +predecessors have a day out?" + +Graham's eyes twinkled. + +"I must think," he said; "the one who stayed longest did. She insisted +upon coming my rounds with me one day in the dog-cart. We had lunch +with Jack Fleming. Would you like to do the same?" + +"No, thank you," said Sara, laughing. "When I go, you won't set eyes on +me from breakfast to nightfall, I want to have my fill of the hills one +day, and to feel that I have leisure to enjoy them, instead of hurrying +back." + +"What did you do in London when you could never gratify such longing?" + +"I used sometimes to run away from my brother," Sara confessed. "I have +picknicked by myself in Richmond Park, and in Kew Gardens, and had a +delicious time." + +"You must choose a day when the mists are not about. I have told you +that our hills hold dangers." + +"I shall be very cautious, I promise you. My only doubt is whether your +mother can spare me." + +"I will ask her to do so. I am sure she will." + + +So it came to pass that one lovely spring morning, Sara set out with +a book, a stout stick in her hand, and a packet of sandwiches in her +pocket. A feeling of exhilaration was in her soul. There was a crisp +freshness in the air, and a warmth in the sun, which sent her on her +way rejoicing. + +When she got out on the hills with the soft springy turf underfoot, +and saw the gorse in full bloom, and watched the upward flight of many +larks carolling their way towards heaven, she forgot all the anxious +thoughts about her poor depressed invalid, and lifted her face in joy +at being alive. One companion she had with her, and that was Graham's +collie, "Snooks." Snooks had attached himself with great pertinacity to +Sara. He laid in wait for her when she came out of the house, and would +trot round the garden after her watching all her performances with the +greatest interest. Now he, like herself, was ecstatic with the sense +of freedom. He bounded here and there, pursued imaginary rabbits, and +barked at the larks. + +Sara let him roam unhindered by whistle or calls; she tramped steadily +upward, and at length turned to look about her. The beauty of the scene +below made her determine to have a rest, so that she would have time to +enjoy it. She lay down on the soft turf and gazed dreamily before her. +In the distance was the lake, looking a brilliant blue this morning, +with deep purple shadows on the farther side where the young larches +lined the banks in their fresh shimmering dress of green. As she +looked, a tiny boat with a white sail shot out from the shore, and took +its way across the calm still water, leaving a streak of silver light +behind it. From this height she could see behind the trees the towers +of Sir Malcolm Ferris's house, and green valleys running up from the +side of the lake through a break in the hills. She caught sight of the +high white road through the pines which she had driven along that first +night of her arrival. And then her thoughts centred on Mrs. Laird. + +"She could be so happy," she mused; "she has an affectionate son, and a +comfortable home, and she has no pains and aches to speak of. Whatever +she has done, and I expect it is extreme morbidness that makes her +think she has done anything, she could have the peace of forgiveness +resting upon her soul, for I am sure her repentance and remorse has +been lasting enough. How I wish she would confide in me! If I only knew +more, I could help her more. I should love to have her up here with me +now. What a world of good it would do her!" + +Sara turned over on her side, the smell of the hot gorse with its +peculiar fragrance came to her, bees buzzed busily round. In the +distance, she heard the sheep bleating to each other. Then her thoughts +began to get hazy. In the warmth of the sun, she slept. + +She awoke with a start. Somebody was prodding her with the end of an +umbrella. She rubbed her eyes, then sat up. An elderly lady in blue +goggles and a big brown straw hat tied down with a veil was standing +by her. The stranger was in short tweed skirt, and had a tin box slung +over her shoulder. She was now leaning on a stout green umbrella, and +she gave a little grunt when Sara rose to her feet. + +"What are you thinking of to go to sleep upon the grass at this time of +year? Are you trying to court rheumatism and ague, and sciatica, and +all the rest of it?" + +"No," said Sara, smiling. "I own I have been unwise, but I was so +comfortable." + +"I thought you'd had a fit at least, seeing you in that ridiculous +position on the ground." + +Sara looked round for Snooks. He was nowhere to be seen. + +"Have you seen a brown collie?" she asked. + +"Of course I have. He was trying to court disaster too, chasing birds +amongst the rocks. I tried to call him off, but he refused to come. He +may get a tumble if he doesn't take care." + +"I must go and find him." + +"Do you know our hills? You look a stranger. I think I had better come +with you. I am out botanizing." + +"Thank you," said Sara, meekly. "I am a stranger. I am staying with +Mrs. Laird." + +The old lady took off her goggles and gazed at Sara with a pair of +bright brown eyes. + +"A relative, I presume?" + +"No, a companion," said Sara with a smile; "and I am having a day out. +Isn't it delicious up here?" + +"I'm Kate Ferris. I come occasionally to stay with my nephew, he is +down here now, and always invites me to the Towers in the spring. I +sit and read and write and knit all the winter in my rooms in town. +When the first breath of spring comes, I'm in the country to greet it. +I've been hunting for a certain little plant which grows and blossoms +on these hills this month. I know Mr. Laird, and he knows me, but he +is always very rude to me—won't allow me to call upon his mother. I +suppose she's a poor hypochondriac." + +She was striding up the hill as she spoke, and Sara wondered at her +strength and activity. She tried to explain that Mrs. Laird received no +visitors. + +"A great pity!" was the sharp reply. "People are not meant to shut +themselves away from their fellow creatures, least of all women, +who are a mass of fads and eccentricities and nerves, when they let +themselves run to seed. We are like plants, which grow in clusters, and +in their natural state like plenty of company." + +Sara turned this over in her mind. + +"There are single specimens," she said diffidently. + +"Men cultured," snapped the old lady; "and if you let these precious +single specimens alone to the state of nature in which God placed +them—what happens?" + +Sara did not answer, for she heard a yelp of pain proceeding from some +rocks a short distance from them, and she ran forward in haste, for she +knew that Snooks was in difficulties. + +She was startled to find herself on a sharp spur of the hill which fell +precipitately down hundreds of feet. About fifteen feet down, Snooks +was struggling frantically to extricate himself from a narrow crevice, +into which he had either tumbled or crept. + +Miss Ferris had been quick to follow Sara. + +"What are you going to do?" she asked. "It's perilous footing where he +is." + +Sara did not reply. In an instant, she was scrambling down to where the +collie was. She found that one of his hind legs was seriously crushed. +Miss Ferris watched from above anxiously. Very deftly and calmly, with +soothing words and touch, did Sara release the poor dog. She was able +to lift up a heavy piece of rock which had fallen on him, and so had +imprisoned him. But having released him, she stood looking up in doubt. + +Miss Ferris seemed unable to suggest anything. + +"Can't he climb himself? You can never lift him?" + +Sara slipped out of her thick tweed coat. She wrapped it round the +dog's body, then took off her long thick scarf, and in five minutes had +him slung across her back, and was climbing up to safety. + +Miss Ferris heaved a long sigh when she was able to grip Sara by the +hand, and see her bring her burden up to the green turf above. + +"Splendidly done, young woman! And what an intelligent tractable dog! +No trouble at all! If he had struggled and borne you down, you and he +might have fallen back, and been dashed to pieces below! I'm quite +breathless with the excitement of the moment." + +"Poor Snooks!" said Sara, laying the collie tenderly down and examining +his hurt. "I'm afraid his leg is broken, or very badly sprained. He +won't let me touch it. I wonder what I had better do? Carry him home, I +suppose." + +"He will be too heavy. No, there's a doctor not far from here—a quack—a +herb doctor, but he's very good with animals. My brother had a sheep up +here doctored by him once, and it was quite a success! Keep the dog in +your jacket and we'll carry him between us. I know the way. It's not so +very far down." + +"I know it too. We'll try." + +With the help of a strap from Miss Ferris's tin box, they managed to +carry the collie carefully between them, but it seemed a long and a +rough way before they reached the little hut. + +"This is another case of unhealthy isolation," said Miss Ferris, as she +tapped peremptorily on the stout wooden door with her walking-stick. + +There was no answer for some time, though they heard somebody moving +about inside. + +Then Miss Ferris said— + +"Mr. Cleave, here is a wounded dog! We want your help. Don't keep us +waiting." + +Then the door was opened sharply; and an old grey-bearded man appeared. +He was dressed in brown corduroy, had leather gaiters, and wore a +shabby green felt hat. Sara thought him singularly handsome, with his +dark piercing eyes and white hair; his features were clear cut and +refined. And when he spoke, though his voice was gruff, his accent +showed that he had had education. + +"Bring him in, madam. A gun-shot wound?" + +"No, we think he has broken his leg," said Sara, gently. "He belongs to +Mr. Laird, and I know he values him." + +"It is Snooks. I know him." + +And Snooks raised his head at once and feebly wagged his tail. + +Whilst the old man was examining his hurt, Sara looked around her. + +It was a low-roofed room, a picture of a tidy farmhouse kitchen. +There were rows of dried bunches of herbs hung from a beam across the +ceiling, an old oak chest, a bright shining kitchen range, and an +oak dresser which held on its shelves rows, and rows of bottles and +glass jars, the latter full of preserved seeds and fruits. There was a +shelf of books in a deep recess, and some quaint foreign curiosities +in a glass cupboard. The floor was stone, and the window was shrouded +with thick net curtains. Everything was beautifully clean, and there +was a shelf of shining copper pans beneath the dresser. The walls +were covered with quaint old wood-cuts. One particularly claimed her +attention. It was of an old monk or hermit standing outside his cell in +a wood. His hands were raised as if in benediction, and underneath was +written: + + "'The profit of the earth is for all: the king himself is served by the +field.'" + +Whilst she was puzzling over this, Miss Ferris was chatting away in a +very friendly fashion to the herb doctor. It seemed that she and he +were great friends, and botany was the link between them. She had in +fact more than once brought him rare herbs which she had discovered, +and which he was desirous to obtain. + +"The bone is not broken, but a ligament. I will dress it and bandage +it. He has bruised himself. I will take care of him for a night. He +wants rest. Mr. Laird can drive over for him to-morrow." + +He spoke curtly. Sara looked troubled. + +"I don't know what Mr. Laird will say. I ought to have looked after him +better. I feel responsible for his accident." + +She knelt down by Snooks, who was lying on a rug in front of the fire, +and stroked his head gently. Snooks looked up at her with affection, +but he made no attempt to move. + +"You couldn't have helped it," said Miss Ferris, briskly. "Dogs will +hunt, and if you had been close to him, he would have done it just the +same. We'll leave him to the good doctor here, he couldn't be in better +hands." + +Then she and the old man began discussing the merits of the little +plant for which she had been searching. + +Sara walked out of the hut, and stood gazing before her deep in +thought. Ought she to return home and report the dog's accident? She +did not want to spoil her day out, but she felt that it would be right +to inform Mr. Laird as soon as possible of what had happened. + +As she was standing there, suddenly a woman came round the corner with +a big brown pitcher of water in her hand. Sara knew in an instant who +she was, from the way she shrank back, and from her limp. + +Impulsively Sara stepped aside. + +"I hope you don't mind, but we have brought a wounded dog to your +father, and he is going to look after him for us." + +The woman looked furtively at Sara from under a big print bonnet. She +had her father's eyes, but her face was white and delicate; she rested +her pitcher on the ground and listened to the voices within. + +"Who is there?" she asked in a deep, quiet voice. + +"Miss Ferris," said Sara; "she met me out of doors. I am staying with +Mrs. Laird. I am her companion, and I came out for a day on the hills, +and have allowed Snooks to meet with an accident." + +The woman stood irresolute; she was unwilling to meet Miss Ferris, +unwilling to talk to Sara; and yet her eyes could not keep away from +Sara's face. Everybody who looked once at Sara always wanted to look +again. There was so much sympathy and feeling in her expression. To the +lame woman's eyes, Sara looked at her as if she had in that moment seen +something that she admired and liked in her. + +As a matter-of-fact there was a wistful sadness in the woman's face +that drew out Sara's compassion and liking. Ever since she had been +quite a child, she had always insisted that she liked sad people better +than gay. + +So now she touched the woman's arm softly— + +"I'm a stranger in these parts," she said, "but I love nature, and I +am sure you do. Will you be my friend? I haven't spoken to any woman +outside the house till to-day, when I met Miss Ferris. May I come and +see you?" + +"I never see visitors." + +"I don't want you to think of me as a visitor. If I come up here and +sit under that old rock over there, will you join me sometimes? I won't +intrude upon your privacy." + +The woman turned away with a little nod. She took her pitcher of water +indoors, and a moment after Miss Ferris came out. + +"That sulky Agnes and I don't get on," she said, "but the father is +a very good sort. I believe it is she who makes him live out in this +wild. Have you heard her story? Of course it has to do with blighted +love, what woman's story has not! Come along out of their hearing and I +will tell you. + +"She wasn't lame when she was young, and she was going to marry the +young blacksmith of her village. But her mother died suddenly, and she +could not make up her mind to leave her father. He used to go off for +tramps by himself and be away three and four days at a time, hunting +about for his plants and herbs. + +"There was another girl in the story, of course, and she was wildly in +love with the blacksmith. One day the two girls met on these hills. +Agnes was waiting for her lover. The other one taunted her with her +laggard lover. They fell to abuse, and finally Agnes was struck by her +rival, and in falling she tumbled over some rocks and broke her thigh. + +"She was laid up for a long time, and left permanently lame. She only +recovered to find that the other girl had improved her opportunities, +had made the smith see that a delicate crippled wife would be no +helpmate to him, and had married him herself. Agnes never got over it. +She was laughed at by some giddy girls for her limping gait one day, +and she then persuaded her father to come out of the village and live +up on these hills. Her trouble soured her, and she has a great dislike +to her own sex. Rather pitiful, isn't it?" + +"Oh, I'm sorry for her!" exclaimed Sara. + +"Yes, so was I. But she's had years to get sweetened up here, with no +neighbours to irritate her; and I don't approve of her sulking still. +After all, don't we most of us have to go through the mills of God? We +don't get our own way, as a rule. I never did. But is that any reason +why we should shut ourselves away from humanity, and narrow down our +circle to our own precious selves? I've no patience with it! Where are +you going now?" + +"Home, I'm afraid," said Sara, a little ruefully. "I must let Mr. Laird +know about his dog." + +"Oh, you needn't trouble! He's coming over to see my brother after +lunch about some business matter, and I'll tell him then. Take your +fill of air and sunshine whilst you can, and then go home and try to +shake old Mrs. Laird out of her morbid melancholy, and get her into +the open, where the wind will blow on her, and the sun shine upon her! +Oh, these petulant rebels! They're just like roses creeping away into +a sheltered corner to escape the pruning and training which they need. +What happens to them? They degenerate into briars. Agnes Cleave is one +briar, your Mrs. Laird is another. Good-bye. Glad to have met you." + +She strode away with an abrupt little nod, and Sara was left alone. + +She wandered up the hill again, but felt ill at ease. The accident to +poor Snooks had spoiled her day. It seemed heartless to go on enjoying +herself whilst he lay in the herb doctor's hut, suffering acutely. Then +she sat down and ate her sandwiches. She was just resolving to return +to the house, when she saw in the distance a rider coming up in her +direction. + +As he came nearer, she recognized Graham Laird, and she hastily went +forward to meet him. + +"Oh," she said, "I was longing to make my confession to you. I am so +glad to have the opportunity. My day out is spoiled. Poor Snooks has +hurt himself badly." + +"I have just met Miss Ferris," he said, "and she has told me the story. +But you couldn't have left him in better hands. I'll just look in at +the hut. I caught sight of you perched on the sky line, and came on to +relieve your mind." + +"I think you must be a wizard," said Sara, laughing; "I was feeling +quite miserable." + +"What are you going to do with yourself now? Perhaps I oughtn't to ask!" + +"Oh yes. I feel quite cheered up, and am ready for anything. I want to +get away to that pine ridge. I love walking amongst pines." + +She pointed to a distant line of firs on the slope of the hill above +her. + +He looked at her and then at the ridge. + +"By the time you reach that, you will be wanting your tea." + +"I dare say I shall," said Sara, laughing, "but I shall do without it." + +"I was going to suggest that you should get it at a small farm close +by. I know Mrs. Gates would be delighted to give it to you. She loves +visitors." + +"Perhaps I shall not get so far, but I will try. I am so sorry about +Snooks." + +They parted. + +For a moment he watched her, as she walked off with her happy easy +stride, then he turned his horse's head, and rode off to the herb +doctor's. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +THE SECRET TROUBLE + +SARA was fond of walking, and she reached the pine ridge in very good +time. But when she saw a small grey house tucked away in the corner, +she followed Graham's advice, and went in for some tea. Mrs. Gates, a +plump, motherly looking woman, gave her a warm welcome. + +"I've heard tell of you, miss. You're with the poor lady at Felstone +Corner—Mrs. Laird. We're very fond of Mr. Laird—my husband and I—he's +so thorough and just in all his dealings, and there's nothing too small +for him to look into! Sir Malcolm has never had an agent like him +before! And when he comes over here on business, he's so good to my +little girls—they just dote on him. But there! We all see what a burden +his mother's illness be to him. I went up to the house when first they +come here just to help them in, and she fair depressed me, she were so +overcome with wretchedness." + +"It is ill health," said Sara. + +Then not wishing to discuss her employer, she asked Mrs. Gates if she +did not feel lonely. + +"Not when I'm busy, and I'm generally that. But just now I have a lady +lodger. She have come up here for the health of her little girl. They +live out in the pine wood most of the day, and when my little girls +come back from school, they and Miss True have rare games together." + +She gave Sara tea in a spotless little kitchen. The home-made loaf of +bread, the currant cake, the honey and golden butter set before her +were all appetizing, and she drank her tea with great relish. After a +little more chat, she went out into the pine wood, rather dreading lest +she should come across the lodgers. + +"It seems to me," she said, smiling at the thought, "that my day out by +myself away from every living creature has been anything but solitary, +for I have done nothing but come across people the whole time." + +She stepped softly upon the pine drift, looking about her with +the greatest appreciation. It took her back to a pine wood in her +childhood's home; the scent of the pines, the stillness and majesty of +their slender trunks, with the far-away sound of the wind swaying their +dark heads, so high above her! + +And then she suddenly longed to do as she and her brother had always +done—to make a fire of the cones and pine-needles! She took a little +silver matchbox from her pocket, and gathering some sticks together, +she soon had a blaze. Then she sat down by it, and taking her book from +her pocket, she began to read. Her back was resting against a tree. She +was so deep in her book that she did not see a little figure stealing +up in her direction. Suddenly she was startled. + +"Please, are you a gipsy?" + +She looked up. Standing in front of her was a tiny, short-frocked girl +with a crop of short curls and a white face, with large dark eyes and +pointed chin. + +Sara's heart always had a warm place in it for children. + +"Let us pretend I am," she said. "Come and sit down by my fire, and +tell me your name." + +"Yes, that will be lovely! My name is True—at least that's what Mummy +calls me, my proper name is Gertrude. Mummy is close by, but I leaves +her when I wants to do adventuring." + +"I expect you are lodging with Mrs. Gates." + +"Now I b'lieve you're a fairy, for I didn't tell you that." + +"Would you rather I was a fairy than a gipsy? I can be anything you +like." + +"Oh, you 'are' glorious!" + +The small creature clasped her hands in ecstasy. + +"Then will you be the wicked witch making spells over a fire, and I'll +be the princess—?" + +"True, what are you doing?" + +The child started, for her mother had come upon the scene. She was very +young, and looked a mere girl in her simple black dress and wide shady +hat. She had a sweet face, very gentle and appealing in its expression, +and her voice was very low in tone. + +"She is not disturbing me," said Sara with a pleasant smile. "We were +just beginning to play together." + +"It is time to go to tea," said the mother, taking her small child by +the hands. Then she looked at Sara with friendly eyes. + +"We were so accustomed to monopolize the wood, that my little girl was +quite curious when she saw the smoke from your fire. We do not see many +people here." + +"No," said Sara. "I have come over from Felstone Corner. I am staying +with Mrs. Laird." + +"Are you really? How extraordinary! I haven't been here long, but I +am a distant cousin of Mrs. Laird's. I used often to stay with her +before—before her trouble. I went over to Felstone Corner once since +they have been there, but Mrs. Laird would not see me, and Graham drove +me back to the station the same day. That was when my husband was +alive. We were staying in Lancaster for a few weeks." + +"Does Mr. Laird know you are here?" asked Sara. + +"I wrote to him a couple of days ago. Our doctor recommended me this +high air for True. She is very delicate." + +Sara wondered to herself that she had not been told of these visitors, +and then took herself to task for expecting to be taken into Graham's +confidence about everything. + +"How is Mrs. Laird?" was the next question put to her. + +"I am hoping she will be better when the warm weather comes." + +"Then you—you nurse her?" + +"I am her companion," said Sara, quickly. + +She saw that the young widow was scrutinizing her closely. Was it fancy +that made Sara think she noticed a certain hardening of lips and smile? + +"I suppose you have not been long with her? No one stays very long, I +hear. It's a terrible life for Graham." + +Sara made no reply. + +Then the young widow passed on, saying with a little bow and smile— + +"I dare say we will meet before long. You can tell them you have seen +me. I wish we were not so far-away, but we are nearer the town than +they are. Felstone Corner seems the other end of nowhere!" + +True kissed her hand. + +"Come another day, when it isn't tea-time," she called out in her +shrill little voice. "Then we'll have time to play all sorts of games!" + +Sara was left alone to her fire and to solitude. She could read no +longer. Her thoughts again centred in Mrs. Laird. + +"I am making no way with her at all; oh, I wish, I wish I could bring +her comfort!" + +She was interested in the widow and her child. And when she at length +turned homewards, she wondered again why Graham Laird had not mentioned +them, when he advised her to have tea at the farm in which they were +lodging. + +She did not arrive home till dusk had set in. She found Graham sitting +with his mother. Contrary to his custom, he did not leave the room when +she came into it. + +"Come and tell the mother of your adventures," he said with a little +smile. "She wants to hear about poor Snooks." + +"How is he?" + +"Doing very well. He'll be about again in a few days. Reuben is +first-rate with animals!" + +Then Sara sat down, and gave Mrs. Laird a very full account of her day. + +When she came to her meeting with the widow and child, Mrs. Laird said +irritably— + +"A cousin of mine? I have no cousins living—" + +"It is Eva, mother. She married, you know, soon after we came here. Her +name is Jeffery now. Her husband died last year. I heard from her the +other day, and have not had time to answer her—" + +"She is not to come into the house," said Mrs. Laird, excitedly. "I +will not see her. I wonder she dares come near us! What is her object?" + +"She told me her little girl was delicate, and wants country air," said +Sara. + +"I can't think why you need have spoken to her," said Mrs. Laird. "I +don't wish you to have anything to do with her." + +"It was quite an accident. In fact I was only thinking as I came home, +how differently my day has been spent from what I intended. I went out +to the hills to have a lovely time of solitude. I have instead been +making acquaintance with six strange people." + +"And you couldn't even get away from me," said Graham with a little +laugh. + +Then he got up to go. Mrs. Laird was strangely restless and upset. + +When she was alone with Sara, she said— + +"Give me your promise you won't speak to that woman again. She has done +untold harm to me in the past." + +"I will try and not meet her, but I never give promises that I am +doubtful about keeping. She might insist upon speaking to me. She looks +such a sweet gentle girl." + +"She's a snake—a snake in the grass," said Mrs. Laird, angrily. + +"Well, don't let us think about her." + +"But I must. I shan't sleep to-night. She'll be getting hold of you and +telling you a lot of falsehoods. A cousin of mine indeed! She's the +stepdaughter of a cousin of mine, and when her mother went abroad, she +came to stay with me. She was only a schoolgirl then, about seventeen, +but she wrought mischief between the ones I loved best, and myself. She +was the cause of it all! I could curse her!" + +Mrs. Laird broke down and sobbed miserably. Sara knelt by her side. + +"Dear Mrs. Laird, do tell me all about it. I can't bear seeing you so +miserable. I wish I could comfort you!" + +Mrs. Laird raised her head, and a fierce light came into her eyes. + +"I will tell you. And you can leave me to-morrow, for you won't want to +stay with me when you hear. But if I don't tell you, she will! She has +followed us here on purpose to rake up the old story. I know her too +well! Lock the door. Come here and listen." + +She took hold of Sara's hands with her hot trembling ones. + +Sara caught her breath. At last she was going to be told the secret. + +"Did you think Graham my only son? I had another, my firstborn, Edmund. +He was in a Government office in London. We lived out of town, half +an hour's run by train. Graham was abroad. Edmund lived with me, but +the day came when he married. She was a nice little thing—his wife. +I had my own rooms in the house, and did not interfere with them. Of +course we had differences occasionally. I'll confess it. I have a quick +passionate temper, and there were times when she exasperated me by her +helpless babyish ways. But we were good friends. We only lived together +a year. She died when her baby was born. Edmund was inconsolable, he +got his chief to send him out abroad on some foreign mission, and he +left his child with me—" + +Mrs. Laird paused, for her voice broke. + +Seeing her agitation, Sara said— + +"Don't tell me any more now, if you would rather not." + +"I shall not stop now I have once begun," Mrs. Laird said sharply. Then +she looked up at Sara with weary pitiful eyes— + +"I loved that child, loved her as I had loved her father. Do you +believe me when I say it? I 'adored' her!" + +"I am sure you did," said Sara gently, seeing a fierce light leap into +the old lady's eyes again. + +"Dorothy, her name was. We called her Dorrie. She slept in a +dressing-room next mine. I taught her myself to read and write. She was +always with me. She was high-spirited, and I suppose I indulged her too +much. Her governesses used to say she was a handful! Then came the time +when Eva Routledge came to stay with us. I had her for her mother's +sake. She was a favourite cousin of mine. Eva was a girl whose rôle in +life was to be popular. She craved and sought for the affection of all +she came across, but she would not share this affection with others. +Dorrie looked up to her as a child of eleven does look up to a girl of +seventeen, and Eva got such an influence over her that she would do +anything for her. + +"Then Edmund came home on leave, and Eva being a born flirt began to +amuse herself with him. She always did, as you say, look quiet and +gentle—but she was very deep. I knew how she acted behind my back—and +I exposed her falseness one day before Edmund. She never forgave me +for it, and systematically tried to turn Dorrie against me. It was her +revenge. I did not realize then how bitterly she felt towards me. But +when Dorrie flouted me to my face, refused to stay with me, and spent +all her time with Eva, I began to see it must be stopped, and I told +Eva her visit must come to an end. + +"I really believe now that she was trying to make Edmund marry her. He +was very near it, and thought me very harsh in the way I talked about +her. I remember the night before he left us—he was going to spend a +fortnight in the country with some friends. + +"'Mother,' he said, 'I think you're very hard on young people. Dorrie +seems frightened of you. Do you find her a trouble? Would she be better +at a boarding-school?' + +"I knew who had been poisoning his mind against me. + +"'When Dorrie and I are alone,' I said, 'we are perfectly happy. Eva is +having a bad influence over her, and I am very glad she is leaving us.' + +"He said no more. He left us the next day, and Eva was to go the day +after." + +Mrs. Laird stopped. She hid her face in her hands. Sara waited. She +felt the sooner the story was told, the better it would be. + +In a few moments, Mrs. Laird looked up, and went on in a cold metallic +tone of voice. + +"I was feeling miserable that day. I hadn't slept, and everything +seemed to get upon my nerves. Eva was packing, and Dorrie spent most of +the day in her room. In the afternoon, I was going to take Dorrie out +to tea somewhere. When the time came, the child sent a message saying +she wasn't coming, she was going to stay with Eva till her cab came. Of +course I ought to have given in. I see now that I ought. If we could +ever foresee the result of some of our actions, how differently we +should behave! I was very angry, and sent for Dorrie to come to me. I +can see her now springing up the stairs, a little slim figure, with her +auburn curls flying, and her dark eyes flashing rather angrily. + +"I came out on the broad landing, and she stood balancing herself on +one leg—it was a trick she had—at the head of the stairs. + +"'I won't come, Granny!' she said passionately. 'Poor Eva is crying. +You've been very unkind to her!' + +"'So you like Eva better than your old Granny!' I said, feeling my +temper rise. + +"'A thousand times better!' cried Dorrie. + +"My passion overcame me. I can't remember what I said. But my words +were enough to make the child shrink back suddenly, as I sprang towards +her. My instinct was to take her by the arm and bring her into my +room and keep her there till Eva had gone. Even now—I can't say for +certain—I go over and over the scene till my brain gets dizzy—but I do +believe that I never laid my hand on her. In any case, the child was +frightened, lost her balance and fell headlong down that steep long +staircase, striking her head with awful force on the stone pavement +below. + +"Eva saw her fall, and told every one that she saw me strike her down. +I could not contradict her. The horror of it all numbed me. I dashed +downstairs and carried her upstairs to my bedroom. A doctor was sent +for, but she never recovered consciousness. She died in my arms two +hours afterwards—I—and no one else had killed her!" + +"You poor—poor soul!" said Sara. And then in a passion of pity and +compassion, she put her arms round the trembling speaker, and kissed +her. + +Mrs. Laird gently pushed her away. + +"Ah—h—h!" she said, with a drawn-out shudder. "I am in God's sight a +murderer. It was my temper which killed my darling! That sting nobody +can take out of my heart. Let me finish, there is not much more to +tell. Edmund was telegraphed for. He came, but got the version of +the story from Eva first. You can imagine how he felt towards me. My +remorse, my grief was nothing to him. He shut himself up away from +me till after the funeral, then he bade me good-bye, and went abroad +again. What do you think his last words were to me? They are burnt into +my soul: + +"'May God forgive you, mother, I cannot. We are best apart, for you +have taken my all from me!' + +"He went, and to add to my punishment, he was attacked by fever a year +later, and died out in India. He passed out of this life without a word +of forgiveness for his mother." + +"And then your other son came home and comforted you," said Sara, +consolingly. + +"Do I look comforted? No. It's a wonder to me now why I was not tried +for murder. Our doctor hushed it up." + +"It was an accident," said Sara, firmly. "You could not have been +thought guilty of murder. You say yourself that you did not think you +touched her." + +"I delude myself with that fancy. I know I did not strike her +downstairs, as that vile girl insinuated. But the fact remains the +same. She met her death through me. A young happy life destroyed at its +outset by a jealous passionate woman! This is my burden. This is why I +will not face my fellow creatures. They say I am morbid, but God has +forsaken me. How I wrestled all that night in my agony beseeching Him +to save her life, and not lay the loss of it to my charge! He would not +listen to me. He took her. And I have never prayed to Him since." + +"But God knows your heart. He knows your sorrow and remorse, and +forgives. I remember a verse in the Bible that brought me great comfort +once, when I had done wrong: + + "'Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon Thee. Thou saidst, +Fear not.' + +"That's how we're received. Do call upon Him. He will comfort and +relieve you, because He knows, as no one else knows, how you feel about +it." + +Mrs. Laird did not speak, her face was turned away. + +"So now," she said coldly, "you know that you are living with a woman +who has been guilty of murder." + +"No," said Sara, emphatically, "that is not true. You may have sinned +by anger, but I don't believe for a moment that your hand touched the +child. Shall we have our evening reading now?" + +"No, I cannot bear it. I am too upset." + +Sara took her trembling hand in hers caressingly. She said no more, she +felt she could not, but she just sat silently by her side, praying for +her. + +Then Mrs. Laird suddenly raised her head, and spoke in an indifferent +tone. + +"You might play and sing to me. I like your music. We will not talk any +more." + +Sara never in her life had felt more disinclined to sing than she did +just now. + +But she went into her room and got her guitar. And then a sudden +impulse came to her. She sat down in the firelight and sang in her +sweet thrilling voice— + + "'Souls of men! why will ye scatter + Like a crowd of frighten'd sheep? + Foolish hearts! why will ye wander + From a love so true and deep?'" + +When she came to the verse— + + "'There is no place where earth's sorrows + Are more felt than up in Heaven; + There is no place where earth's failings + Have such kindly judgment given—'" + +Mrs. Laird heaved a deep sigh, and her lips quivered. Sara went on— + + "'For the love of God is broader + Than the measures of man's mind; + And the Heart of the Eternal + Is most wonderfully kind. + + "'Pining souls! come nearer Jesus, + And oh! come not doubting thus, + But with faith that trusts more bravely + His huge tenderness for us.'" + +Then Mrs. Laird bowed her head in her hands, and tears came. + +Sara finished the hymn, then slipped quietly out of the room, and left +the stricken woman alone. + + + +CHAPTER VII + +THE INVALID IMPROVES + +THE next morning at breakfast, Graham said—"How is my mother this +morning?" + +"She did not sleep very well, but she seems comfortable now. I shan't +let her get up very early." + +"I'm afraid your meeting with Mrs. Jeffery rather agitated her?" + +Sara looked up at him gravely and frankly. + +"Mr. Laird, your mother told me all last night." + +"I am glad she did," he said, after a little pause; "I would rather +you had heard it from her lips than from anybody else's. I suppose you +guessed she had something on her mind?" + +"It ought not to be there," said Sara. "She has distorted and magnified +what happened so much that she refuses to put it away from her." + +"She cannot well do that. Our memories are hard masters." + +"But our failures and mistakes can be blotted out. It is wrong to bind +them upon our shoulders and bear the burden of them." + +"What were you singing to her last night?" + +"A hymn—" + +Graham smiled, and Sara coloured a little. + +"Don't scorn hymns," she said. "This was a very special one." + +"I do not doubt it. But my mother's hurt is too deep to be touched +by hymns. If Mrs. Jeffery does happen to call here, you must not let +her see my mother. I am sorry she is in the neighbourhood. Of course +I was abroad at the time of my mother's trouble. Eva was a young and +foolish girl, but I don't think she was so much to blame as my mother +imagines. It is a very sad story. I have heard both sides. But I would +give a good deal to any one who brought the least bit of comfort to my +mother. She is much too morbid, of course, about her part in it. It was +an accident, pure and simple. And if any soul has punished themselves a +thousand times over for a fit of temper, I am sure my poor mother has." + +"Yes," said Sara, "that is quite true. She will be comforted by and by, +Mr. Laird; I know she will." + +"I shall have to answer Mrs. Jeffery's note," said Graham, musingly. "I +am ashamed of having put it into my pocket and forgotten it. I think I +must ride over and see her, and then I'll have a look at Snooks. Reuben +would like to keep him another day, he said." + + +Sara's day passed very quietly. It seemed like a calm after a storm. + +When Mrs. Laird was dressed, she sat in her chair engrossed in a book +which she was reading. She made no allusion to what had passed the +evening before, but when dusk came on, she sent for Sara. + +"Sing to me," she said. + +Sara sang some of her favourite songs, both grave and gay, then, just +as she was laying aside her guitar, Mrs. Laird said— + +"And now sing me that hymn again. And sing it slowly—make it last!" + +Sara willingly did so. + +Mrs. Laird listened with face screened from view by her book, which she +held between herself and the singer. + +The sweet vibration of Sara's voice accentuated the sweetness of the +words. + +Mrs. Laird thanked her quietly when she had finished, and Sara wisely +made no comment upon it. + +After that, every evening she sang the same hymn, until one night about +ten days afterwards Mrs. Laird said abruptly— + +"You need not sing it any more. I know it now by heart. As I lie in +bed, I hear your voice still singing it." + +Sara bent down and kissed her. + +"I'm so glad you like it," she said. "I have always loved it. You're +going to have the two last lines made good to you." + +Mrs. Laird looked up inquiringly. + +"We'll change one word," said Sara, smiling. + + "And our lives will be all sunshine + In the sweetness of our Lord." + +Mrs. Laird caught hold of her hand with a quick-drawn breath. + +"Oh," she said, "if it could be! It's the first ray of hope I've had +through all these wretched years." + +She was very silent after that. Sara felt her way very carefully. She +knew that words from her were unnecessary, for she believed that Mrs. +Laird was drawing near to the One Who loved her. So she said little and +prayed much. + + +Snooks returned home, and soon regained the use of his leg. + +Sara did not forget the lonely woman who had helped to dress his +wounds. She went up one day, and sat outside the hut according to her +promise. She sat there for half an hour without hearing or seeing any +sign of her. + +Then as she was about to move away, the door slowly opened, and Agnes +came out. She had a jug in her hand as if she were going to the spring, +and she gave a start when she saw Sara, but it was too self-consciously +done to be natural. Sara had a pretty good idea that she had been seen +from the window. + +"I thought you might like to hear how your patient was going on," said +Sara, brightly. "I nearly brought him up with me to-day, only I was +afraid that you had made him so comfortable here that he would want to +return to you." + +"He was a very good patient," Agnes said gravely. "A good deal more +patient than I was when I got my hurt. He and I have reason to remember +these hills." + +Then she looked sharply at Sara. + +"You've heard my story from somebody?" + +"Well, yes, I have," said Sara, gently. "I do feel so sorry for you." + +Agnes shot up her head in the air with a little snort. + +"Oh, you've no cause to be sorry for me. That happened years ago. I've +learnt to bear in silence, but I hate pity." + +Sara made no reply. She just smiled upon her companion in a friendly +fashion, and Agnes's face softened at once. + +"Father and I fit in very well together, for we're both silent. He is +always busy, and so am I." + +"Do you get any time for reading?" + +"No. Father's books don't interest me. They're all on herbs and +medicines. But I crochet and knit. I've crocheted a good many shawls +and now I'm doing a quilt. Does Mrs. Laird work? She'd find it would +soothe her like nothing else if she did." + +"Yes; we work together. I quite agree with you. Work always soothes me." + +Agnes looked at Sara's bright sympathetic face. + +"I shouldn't think you were ever ruffled or disturbed," she said. + +"Sometimes I feel inside like a seething whirlpool," said Sara; +"especially when wrong is being done, and nobody seems able to right +it. But as far as my own affairs go, I have had a happy life." + +"You look like it. Anybody could see you've never known trouble." + +"Oh, I don't know about that," said Sara, gravely. "Trouble comes to us +all. I have twice been rooted up out of a very happy comfortable home, +but I know it must be the very best thing for me, so it doesn't worry +me." + +"Why should it be the very best thing for you?" asked Agnes in surprise. + +"I don't know why. I suppose I shall see the reason for it some day." + +A little silence fell upon them. + +Then Agnes said gloomily— + +"There's no more light and hope for me some future day than there is +now." + +"Oh, isn't there? Don't you look forward to another better life when +this is done? You don't expect to come to an end when you die?" + +"I hate death. I don't trouble about it." + +"I have learnt that it is a golden gate," said Sara. "I remember +hearing a little story long ago. May I tell it to you? + + "It was of three travellers on board ship journeying towards land. One +was a stowaway; he knew he was going to be landed and left to shift for +himself. He looked forward with doubt and uneasiness to the end of his +journey, for he did not know what would become of him. The other was a +criminal who had been detected and discovered since he was on board. He +knew what the end of his journey would mean for him. Trial, punishment, +and most likely death. The third was going home to his father's +house. He had been sent abroad on a mission of some difficulty, and +had suffered a good many hardships in trying to carry it out. But his +mission was done. He had been recalled, and now there was a gladness +in his eye, an eager anticipation in his heart of the welcome he would +receive, of the home that was his. He knew that the end of his journey +would be better than all that had gone before." + +Sara paused. Her eyes were far-away and there was a rapt smile about +her lips. + +Agnes looked at her. Her daily contact with her father, who was an +educated man, had refined her and made her more thoughtful than most +women in her position would have been. + +"I feel like the stowaway," she said. "I don't know what the end of my +journey will be." + +"But you can know. I would never rest if I were you till I did know. +The Bible will tell you." + +Then Sara got up to go. + +"Come and see me soon again," said Agnes. "You are different from other +people." + +Sara promised she would; and Agnes stood watching her light quick steps +retreating into the distance. She went back to the hut. + +"If the Bible could give me her gladness and sureness, it would be +worth reading," she said. "I'll have a try." + + +It was an eventful day when, wrapped up warmly, Sara took Mrs. Laird +round the garden. She leant heavily upon the girl's arm, and at first +would hardly notice the flowers that under Sara's care were blossoming +freely. But as the days grew brighter and warmer, the air and sunshine +worked their way with her, and she began to evince more interest in +things about her. + +And one sunny morning Sara got Graham to help, and between them they +got the old lady down to the lake, and took her out in a boat. + +It was a very successful effort. Mrs. Laird came back to the house with +a light in her eyes which Sara had never seen before. + +Graham was intensely pleased, but also cautious. + +"Don't go too fast, Miss Darlington," he said. "Don't overtax her +strength. I don't know if it is a good sign or not, but my mother is +altering very much. She is softer and gentler in her ways; the shadow +seems lifting from her. I sometimes wonder whether it is a sign that +her hold on life is lessening, that her strength is going. What do you +think?" + +"No," said Sara, slowly, "I think it is something better than that. I +think she is being comforted." + +"She has told me more than once what a comfort you are to her." + +"Oh, Mr. Laird, I am not doing it. Do you think I personally could +bring her out of the shadows?" + +He looked at her in a puzzled sort of way, but said no more. + + +There were still days when Mrs. Laird relapsed into brooding +melancholy, but these came very seldom now, and if she had been +depressed during the day, she would ask Sara to sing her the hymn that +she had learnt to love. + +One evening she had retired early to bed, and Sara ran down into the +garden to water her flowers. She found Colonel Fleming and Graham +pacing the paths together, as they smoked their pipes. + +Colonel Fleming gave her a very hearty greeting. "Haven't seen you for +ages! I hear of you from different quarters. Miss Ferris complains she +has asked you over to dine and you won't go. I hoped to meet you there +last week. Why won't you accept her invitations?" + +"Because I am otherwise employed," said Sara, with a little laugh. "But +I liked Miss Ferris very much." + +"So does every one. Now look here. I'm going to give a party—what do +you ladies call it?—An 'At Home,' isn't it? I shall be at home to my +friends next Thursday. I expect Sir Malcolm and Miss Ferris, I expect +Mrs. Jeffery and her little girl, and I expect you, Miss Darlington. +Laird will drive you over: of course he'll come. I shall have the +parson and his wife, and the doctor and a few local fry. What's +bothering my head is the question of entertainment. My strawberries +will be ripe, but you wouldn't like to be told to pick them, would you? +There will be croquet for a few—but what on earth will the rest do?" + +"Talk," said Graham. "My experience of those sorts of gaieties is that +you stand about a damp lawn, and keep your tongues busy; you refresh +yourself with tea, and you go at it again till you've exhausted every +subject under the sun. And then you're glad enough to see the traps +coming round." + +"Poor dumb dog," said Colonel Fleming. "Does he never talk to you, Miss +Darlington?" + +"Not much," said Sara, laughing. + +"No," said Graham; "Miss Darlington and I think more than we speak. If +we have anything particular to say, we say it, otherwise we hold our +tongues." + +"Well, am I to expect you?" + +"I will see what Mrs. Laird says," said Sara, quietly. "If she cannot +spare me, I shall not come. But I thank you for the invitation." + +"You must bring her, Graham. Don't dare to show your face without her!" + +He departed. + +Sara continued watering her flowers. + +"Here!" said Graham, suddenly, after watching her in an absent-minded +way. "You must let me fill those cans for you. Why do you give yourself +such a lot of trouble? Let the flowers take their chance and wait for +the rain." + +"If you had sown these, and watched their growth from seedlings, you +couldn't see them flag and wither and die for want of a little effort +on your part." + +Graham did not answer. He filled her cans from the garden tap and +carried them backwards and forwards for her. Then, when she expressed +herself satisfied, he said— + +"Now we have earned a rest, come and sit down over here where we can +look down upon the lake." + +She followed him to a favourite nook of hers in the garden. The trees +and shrubs had been cut away, and from a rustic seat the lake in its +beautiful setting of wooded slopes lay before them. She clasped her +hands idly in her lap, and a smile of keen enjoyment came to her lips +as she gazed over the still blue water. + +"I don't think I have ever seen you idle before," said Graham, breaking +a silence of some minutes. "You always have that everlasting knitting +in your hands or some other dull kind of work." + +Sara laughed. + +"How like a man! Women's work is often dull, but it is very useful +nevertheless!" + +"How was it you refused Miss Ferris's invitation? Did my mother know +about it?" + +"No. I did not think it necessary to tell her." + +"But that was hardly fair. There was no reason why you should not have +gone." + +"I had several very good reasons," said Sara, serenely. "The chief one +perhaps was that your mother requires me more towards the end of the +day than any other part of it." + +"But I could have taken your place." + +"Not altogether. You see what a good opinion I have of my services! I +did not come here to enjoy social gaiety." + +"Gaiety! If you only knew what a dull soul is Ferris! His dinners are +heavier to the spirit than to the digestion, and that is saying a good +deal!" + +"Then I haven't missed much," said Sara, laughing. + +He looked at her without speaking for a moment, then he said— + +"You must come to Fleming's to-morrow. We need not stay long. I +can't think how he can consider it worth his while to turn his house +topsy-turvy for such an ineffectual bit of social intercourse. It's +like playing at a game!" + +"Playing games is healthy sometimes. Colonel Fleming strikes me as a +very sociable man. He likes his fellow creatures, doesn't he?" + +A shadow came into Graham's eyes. + +"He used to be one of the most popular officers in the service. I can't +think even now why he stays here. Of course at one time I think I told +you—he had his trouble, but time heals wounds of that sort." + +"He is very fond of you." + +"It's rather astonishing, isn't it?" + +As Sara looked up, she encountered quite a humorous sparkle in Graham's +dark eyes, and she cried impulsively— + +"Oh, I'm so glad you've a sense of humour. Why don't you show it more? +It helps through difficult bits of life as nothing else does." + +And then she rose from her seat. + +"I must go in. Your mother will be expecting me." + +She had turned from him before Graham had recovered from his +astonishment. + +"A sense of humour!" he muttered. "When one is cramped and deadened, +and crushed into a flattened bit of putty, it's hard to have any sense +at all. But she is revolutionizing us! And what a light she is in our +dark dreary house!" + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +A MAN'S DETERMINATION + +SARA went to Colonel Fleming's "At Home." Mrs. Laird said she would +like her to do so. + +It was a very warm afternoon when she started in the high dog-cart +with Graham. She wore a lavender muslin gown, and a shady straw hat. +He glanced at her, as she stood on the steps waiting for the trap to +come round. There was something peculiarly dainty and fresh in her +appearance in spite of the extreme simplicity of her dress. She caught +his gaze and laughed. + +"I hope I am dressed suitably for the occasion." + +"You will want a dust-coat or cloak," said Graham, gravely. + +She held up one with a smile, and he took it out of her hands and +helped her into it. + +Then as they drove off, he said— + +"This is rather different weather to when you last drove with me." + +"Yes," said Sara; "I shall not soon forget my arrival in these parts. +What a strange, eerie, and interesting time it was to me! Do you +remember the mistake I made about you? I took you for an exceedingly +taciturn groom!" + +"I had driven so many ladies backwards and forwards," said Graham +apologetically, "that I felt very depressed that night." + +"You did not think me suitable," said Sara, amusement in her tone. + +"No, I did not, and I do not now." + +"Oh, I am sorry. I hoped I was giving satisfaction." + +"It is a false position for you to be in. And candidly, I wonder that +you stay." + +"But I am very happy, so why should I not? And I am truly fond of your +mother." + +"You are very good and patient with her." + +Sara did not speak for a moment, then she said— + +"Don't you think it one of the good things in this life to be able +to mitigate even in the least degree the sorrows and discomforts of +others? I do. And when your mother's eyes brighten, and a smile hovers +about her lips, I feel as happy as a sandboy! I want to get her out +more. Do you think we could persuade her to drive with you across the +hills? Couldn't you take her to see the old herb doctor?" + +He shook his head. + +"She won't see people just yet. I wish she would. Have you been much +with old people, Miss Darlington?" + +"No, I don't think I have. But I do love them. A little old Miss +Grafton is one of my greatest friends in town. I love their placid +detachment of things and people, and yet their keen interest in all the +little details of life which escape the younger people who are more +self-engrossed." + +They turned then to talk of the country round them. Sara found that +Graham was interested in all nature studies. He told her some of his +experiences in the hills in India, and gave her an account of his +game-hunting there. She felt quite sorry when the drive came to an end. + +Colonel Fleming came out to meet them with a beaming face. + +"Good creatures to be so punctual! I'm actually getting nervous. Miss +Darlington, come and look at my tea-tables. I hope my housekeeper has +provided enough. How do people know how much will be required? It's a +mystery to me." + +Tea had been laid under a group of old elms on the lawn. Sara looked +at the bountiful spread, and assured him that he had enough cakes and +sandwiches for a hundred. + +"You think so? I'm so glad. I made Mrs. Larkins double everything +half an hour ago. You see, I've never gone in for this style of thing +before. And I want to do it well." + +The guests began to arrive, and soon there was a very fair sprinkling +of people scattered about upon the lawn. Colonel Fleming had made a +very pretty garden for himself, and the old farmhouse looked most +picturesque in its setting. Miss Ferris and her brother, Sir Malcolm, +were there, and Sara was introduced to the squire of the district for +the first time. He was a short, stout man with very little powers of +conversation, and Sara found him distinctly heavy. + +Mrs. Jeffery and her little girl were some of the latest arrivals. The +child soon discovered Sara, and followed her about like a shadow. + +Her mother paced a shady shrubbery path for a long time with Graham. +Sara came across them once talking earnestly. The young widow's face +was very sweet and appealing, she seemed to be pleading for something +which Graham, with set frowning face, was denying her. Sara was walking +with Miss Ferris when she met them. Mrs. Jeffery gave her a stiff +little smile of recognition; Graham never lifted his eyes from the +ground. + +"My dear," said Miss Ferris, bluntly, "we have interrupted unadvisedly." + +"Oh, they're cousins," said Sara, indifferently. + +A little later, Colonel Fleming insisted upon taking her over +his house. Little True accompanied them. Sara admired the plain +dark-panelled hall, with its oak table and settle by the fire. It +was essentially a man's room. The dining-room led out of it, and +was furnished in the same severe style. Above the fireplace was the +portrait of a charming girl in riding dress. + +"My mother, God bless her!" said Colonel Fleming. "And painted by a +first-rate artist too. I don't mind telling you, Miss Darlington, but +her eyes looking down upon me when I sit over my wine prevents my +making a—a beast of myself. Do you understand? A man dining alone, with +nobody to keep him company, soon makes a god of his cellar. And she and +I understand each other, and I know when I must draw in. Now then, come +into the drawing-room. It has been aired and trimmed up, but I never +use the room myself. I sit mostly in the hall." + +The drawing-room was appalling in its stiff decorum: chairs against +the wall, shrouded to hide light, windows close shut, curtains and the +crimson damask suite from which holland covers had been removed made +Sara feel hot to look at them. + +"I suppose this room appeals to ladies most," Colonel Fleming said, +with a wistful note in his voice, "but a man doesn't need a state room +like this, so I never use it." + +"I don't think I should use it either," said Sara, thoughtfully; +adding, with a little laugh: "I mean if I were staying as a visitor in +your house." + +"Oh, I would," exclaimed True, dancing up and down as she clung hold of +Sara's hand. "I would have canaries in all the windows, and dogs and +cats about the floor, and then when it got dark, I would light up all +the candles, and get somebody to play the piano, and I would dance to +the music. It would be lovely!" + +"I can see you and the cats and dogs all dancing together," said Sara, +with a merry laugh. + +The child did not laugh. But she looked up into Colonel Fleming's face +gravely. + +"Why don't you get a lady to come and live in this room? If I was +bigger, I might come. But there are lots of ladies who would like a +nice room like this." + +"Ah!" said Colonel Fleming, laughing. "But then they might interfere +with my rooms, and that would never do. Now we'll come back to the +garden and lock this room up. It is too hot and fusty to use to-day." + +"Like Bluebeard's cupboard it is," cried True. + +And then she ran off in search of her mother, whilst Sara was taken +over the rest of the house. + +As they rejoined the company on the lawn, the Colonel said— + +"So glad to get Graham out amongst us to-day. He has been slowly +fossilizing, but you're waking him up at last." + +"Oh, I have very little to say or do with him," said Sara, +indifferently. + +She glanced at Graham, as he stood by Mrs. Jeffery's side. She was +eating an ice which he had brought her, and he was smiling at True's +earnest talk. + +The child was leaning against her mother. + +Then Sara was introduced to a local doctor's wife, and afterwards the +vicar of the parish came up and claimed her attention. + +She did not see Graham to speak to till the guests were departing. They +were the last to leave, for Colonel Fleming had begged them to help him +till the end. + +When the dog-cart came round, the Colonel helped Sara into it and said— + +"I am hoping my party has been a success, but I'll own up to being +confoundedly glad it's over!" + +"You have given pleasure to all of us," said Sara. + +"Get Mr. Laird to follow my example," said Colonel Fleming as they +drove off. "It's your turn to show hospitality next!" + +Graham gave a short laugh. + +"The skies will fall before we go in for entertaining," he said to Sara. + +"Oh, I don't know," she replied. "Your mother may wake up one day, and +want to do it." + +"She is certainly taking more interest in life. Now I want you to get +her to do something. Mrs. Jeffery is most anxious to let bygones be +bygones. She wants to come over to lunch one day, and see my mother. +In fact, I should like her and the child to come to us for a few days +before they leave this neighbourhood. I want my mother to be willing to +receive her." + +"You take my breath away," said Sara. "It was only the other day you +told me if Mrs. Jeffery were to call, that your mother was not to see +her. And now I have heard the story, I think it would be the height of +folly for them to meet at present." + +She felt Graham instantly stiffen, as he sat beside her. + +"I am the best judge of that." + +"No, excuse me, you are not. No man understands a woman. Your mother is +not strong enough either mentally or physically to be put under such an +intense strain. Think how it will reopen all the anguish and remorse! +Why, it is cruelty to think of it! I am fond of dear little True, but +to have a child in the house, in your mother's state, would be madness, +especially as she is the child of Mrs. Jeffery." + +Sara spoke hotly. She felt up in arms against such a proposition. + +But Graham resented her impulsive speech. + +"Miss Darlington," he said in very determined tones, "you may be sure I +have my mother's welfare at heart as much as you. But she is softening, +and I am convinced that were she once to see my cousin, and hear her +speak of the past, she would see it with different eyes. Mrs. Jeffery's +life has been a very unhappy one, and my mother's attitude towards her +has intensified that unhappiness. My mother used to adore children, and +True, I firmly believe, would bring balm and peace to her heart and be +a veritable little peacemaker. We do not want to encourage my mother +in this morbid animosity towards one who has really been an innocent +victim of her dislike. I have promised to have my cousin and her child +the end of next week. And I never break a promise." + +"Oh!" cried Sara. "You are going to undo all my work, and plunge your +mother into the depths again. I must protest! I will! Your cousin ought +to have known better than to make you give her such a promise. You +are vexed with me. You think I have no right to object. But I do. I +shouldn't be human if I did not. And if you still persist in bringing +her to the house, I warn you that I shall circumvent you if I can!" + +Graham compressed his lips but said no more, and the rest of their +drive was taken in constrained silence: Sara in seething rebellion +against his decision, Graham in real annoyance at her attitude. + +When Sara alighted from the trap, she stood with flushed cheeks and a +proud poise of the head. + +"We are angry with each other now," she said, "but do not let your +mother see that we are. And do not, I implore you, touch upon this plan +before her to-night. Let her have some sleep. She needs so much, and +she will have none after she knows." + +"You are exaggerating," said Graham, coldly, "but I have no intention +of saying anything to my mother about the matter to-night." + +Sara heaved a sigh of relief and went upstairs. + +Graham shut himself into the dining-room. As he paced up and down, +with a furrow of anxiety and impatience across his brow, he caught the +sounds of Sara's bright cheerful voice in the room above. Once he heard +his mother's feeble laugh. He knew that a minute account of the garden +party was being given, and a certain regret crept into his heart that +he was not there to join in the talk. Then, he gave himself a mental +shake. + +"A very masterful young woman! She may manage my mother, but she will +not manage me." + +He contrasted her with the sweet plaintive young widow who, with a hand +laid lightly on his arm, had said— + +"Graham, if I could regain your mother's love and friendship, I should +be a happy woman. It is like a heavy burden weighing my spirit to the +ground. Let me only see her, and I know, I know I could make my peace +with her." + +Sara only came downstairs in time for the evening meal, and she talked +as usual upon various subjects. The one topic that was in both their +minds was not touched upon again. + +Graham sat with his mother afterwards, and her improved brightness and +animation only made him more determined than ever to keep his promise +to Mrs. Jeffery. + +"It could not harm her, and Eva is sweetness and gentleness itself. She +will have the tact necessary when seeing her." + +When the next morning came, Sara spoke to him at breakfast. + +"Will you let me plead for a redecision on your part upon having your +cousin here?" + +"No," he said; "I have weighed the matter well, and you are unduly +alarmed. I am convinced it may be the very best course to take with my +mother now. The final touch that will bring her peace and comfort of +mind. She is much better in health now—more reasonable in every way." + +Sara was mute. + +He looked across at her, and his tone softened a little. + +"I will do this if you like. I will invite Mrs. Jeffery over for the +day, and leave it to my mother to decide as to whether she should come +for a few days as our guest." + +"Well," said Sara, drawing a deep breath, "I have lain awake all night +trying to see a gleam of light in your suggestion, and my instinct and, +may I say, my common sense is dead against it. But I will not fight +you. I am here to help your mother, and I will do my best to see her +through it. When are you going to speak to her about the visit?" + +He hesitated. + +"I think you might do that." + +"I am afraid I must refuse." + +He looked at her with a cold smile. + +"I expected a refusal, but I gave you your opportunity. I had better +speak to her at once before I go out." + +Sara made no reply. + +He left the room and went upstairs. + +Sara stepped out into the garden. She found herself gripping the back +of a garden seat, and wondered at her own agitation. + +"If only he had waited a little longer, till she was out in this +beautiful air and sunshine! Oh, I hope he will be gentle and patient +with her!" + +She waited in suspense, then she heard the trap coming round, and +as she turned towards the house, Graham came out and stood upon the +doorstep. + +"It is all right," he said quietly, meeting her anxious gaze. "Mrs. +Jeffery comes to lunch on Friday next." + +She said nothing, but with swift step passed him, and made her way at +once to Mrs. Laird's room. + +The old lady was sitting in her easy-chair by the window. Her breakfast +tray was on the table by her side. + +Her hands were grasping the arms of her chair, but they were trembling, +and her sad, haunting eyes met Sara's with infinite pathos. + +"Come to me. I want you badly." + +Sara knelt down by her side, and spoke with her usual brightness. + +"Isn't it a lovely morning? Shall we have the bath-chair round in an +hour's time, and enjoy the air?" + +"Oh, my dear, my dear, don't you know? Hasn't Graham told you? That +woman is coming here—under our roof—to eat our bread—to force herself +upon me after all these years. How can I bear it? Will you help me? You +are my only help, my son is against his own mother!" + +She leant back in her cushions with a little moaning sigh. + +"Dear Mrs. Laird! I have been told about it, but you need not fret. She +is not worth it. Can you not show her that the past is past, and is not +to be reopened? As you are never down to lunch, you need not see her +for more than a moment or two. She seems—if I may say so—to crave for +your forgiveness and affection. And I will be with you when you see her +if you would like me to be. I will not leave you alone." + +"Yes—yes, you must be with me. I distrust her, I cannot help myself. +And Graham seems distressed to think I can't forgive. He is so +honourable himself, so big-hearted, that he cannot understand a woman's +feelings. Oh, Sara, my dear, I was beginning to have such peace, such +comfort, and now the darkness is coming back." + +"No, no, don't think such a thing for a moment. Ask yourself: Who has +given you this peace? Where does it come from?" + +Mrs. Laird put her trembling hand on Sara's soft brown head. A little +smile came to her lips. + +"You told me it says that no man can take it away from me, but Graham +has been perilously near doing it this morning." + +"He cannot touch your soul. You have given that right away into God's +keeping." + +"So I thought I had, and the past with it. But the past is to be +reopened. She will confront me with the consequence of my evil temper. +Is it blotted out?" Then she added under her breath— + + "'There is plentiful redemption, + In the Blood that has been shed.'" + +Sara smiled, but the quick tears of pity and sympathy were dimming her +eyes. + +"Do you know," she said brightly, "I think you are bravely going to +crush the last of your shadows underfoot. You have always had a secret +dread of meeting Mrs. Jeffery again one day. Now, when you will have +seen her, this dread will leave you. A week hence, you will look back +and smile at your fears. And if you could make up your mind to forgive +her and tell her why you can do it now, it may do her all the good in +the world!" + +"But she has a child!" + +Sudden terror leapt into her eyes. + +"I told Graham she should not torture me by bringing her child here! He +did not press the point. That would be too much for me to bear! You'll +prevent that, Sara! Oh, my head! My head!" + +She sank back exhausted. + +Sara soothed her. But that was a trying morning, and Mrs. Laird was too +upset to go out in her wheel chair. + +Graham came home to lunch. + +Sara met him with no reproaches. She simply said— + +"Would it be possible for Mrs. Jeffery to come to lunch to-morrow? I +think it would be better for your mother if she did." + +"Perhaps she would be able to do so. You mean the sooner she comes the +better?" + +"Yes, the waiting and suspense is very wearing for your mother." + +"I thought she was very calm and reasonable about it when I talked to +her." + +"You must not let True come. I have promised that she shall not." + +He looked at her. And the faintest smile came to his lips. + +"I did not know you could speak so disagreeably," he said. + +"I feel disagreeable," said Sara, meeting his gaze with calmness. "I am +really anxious. And I wonder why men's instincts are so faulty. But we +won't discuss the subject." + +"No, we will not," Graham said. "Are you going out this afternoon?" + +"I don't think I will leave your mother to-day." + +"Then I will ride over myself to the farm. I thought that perhaps you +could have taken a message." + +Sara mentally congratulated herself upon escaping such an errand. + +She spent the afternoon with Mrs. Laird, but persuaded her to come down +and sit in the garden. The old lady was still much perturbed. Sara read +aloud to her, hoping to distract her thoughts from the unhappy past. + +But Mrs. Laird did not 'listen, and at last put her hand on the book. + +"Stop reading, and talk to me. I suppose Graham has gone over to see +Eva?" + +"I think he is going to ask her to come to-morrow." + +"Is it not an extraordinary thing that a woman of her type should make +every one believe in her? And, Sara, the conviction has come to me this +afternoon, that she will follow her former tactics, and turn my only +son against me." + +"Oh no, no. You must not think such a thing. Your son is devoted to +you. Think of all his loving care—" + +"And sacrifice! I know now that he has sacrificed himself for me all +these years. I used not to care, but I do care now. I was struggling +with my selfishness and resolving to fight with my fears, and come out +amongst people again for his sake, but now, oh, I can't think! You have +seen her, you say she is a sweet attractive woman. I know how weak, how +blinded men are! Do you think my cup of sorrow is not yet full? Shall I +be forced to welcome her as a daughter-in-law?" + +"I think you are very wrong in entertaining such a thought. Now, shall +I sing to you? Shall I fetch my guitar?" + +Mrs. Laird sighed heavily. + +"I don't think that even your music could cheer me to-day." + +But Sara made the attempt, and her sweet little songs brought some +relief to Mrs. Laird's brain. + +The weary day was over at last. Sara laid her head upon her pillow with +a prayer that strength and grace would be given for the morrow. + + + +CHAPTER IX + +A DIFFICULT MEETING + +THE next morning Sara was too busy to spend much time in thinking. +Visitors had not been to any meal in the house for years, and Mrs. +Thwaites and Izzie seemed quite unequal to the occasion. Sara was +in the garden gathering flowers, then dusting and arranging the two +sitting-rooms, and finally out in the kitchen helping Mrs. Thwaites, +who was a very indifferent cook, to prepare an appetizing little +luncheon. + +Mrs. Laird was very quiet and resigned. She refused to come down to +lunch, but said she would see Mrs. Jeffery afterwards. The piteous, +nervous look in her eyes haunted Sara. She felt that she would like to +have taken Graham by his two broad shoulders and given him a thorough +good shaking. + +Mrs. Jeffery arrived at half-past twelve, and walked about the garden +with Graham till lunch was ready. She greeted Sara pleasantly, but a +little indifferently. And when they sat down to lunch, confined her +remarks to Graham. + +At last, Mrs. Laird's name was mentioned. + +"I hope it will not distress her to see me," Mrs. Jeffery said in her +sweet plaintive voice. "If she only knew what a longing I have had to +see her again! And she is really much better in health now, is she not? +I dare say time has healed things." + +Then Sara spoke. It was quite unpremeditated, and afterwards she +wondered that she had done so. + +"Mrs. Laird is better, or she would not be able to see you to-day," she +said. "But time has not effaced the past. And of course, your presence +here reopens much. She is agitated and perturbed in consequence. But +I believe you could do much to ease her mind. I hope you will be able +to do it. She is certain to refer to the past. If she does, will you +assure her of the fact that she never laid her hand upon her little +grandchild when her accident happened. She did not touch her, as you +know." + +Graham looked up quickly. + +There was a quiet challenge in Sara's eyes as she faced Mrs. Jeffery +that brought the colour to the young widow's cheeks. + +"No, of course she did not touch her," she said hastily. "I was in the +hall below, and saw the child fall." + +"Just assure Mrs. Laird of that," said Sara, quietly. "Though she +knows the fact herself, in her ill health she has sometimes imagined +otherwise; and it is good for her to be reassured on that point." + +"But—" began Graham. + +Sara flashed such an imperious frowning glance upon him that he stopped +short. + +"Perhaps my mother would rather not talk of the past at all," he said a +little lamely. + +But neither Mrs. Jeffery nor Sara responded to this. + +Half an hour afterwards, Sara was sitting by Mrs. Laird's side, when +Mrs. Jeffery was brought in by Graham. + +It was a tense moment for all, and perhaps Mrs. Jeffery was the one who +saved the situation. + +"Dear Cousin Rachael, thank you for seeing me. Please don't get up. I +have so often wanted to ask your forgiveness for my unwise behaviour in +the past." + +She had both Mrs. Laird's hands in hers as she spoke, and in a pretty +foreign fashion bent her lips to them and kissed them. + +Mrs. Laird made an effort to speak, but could not. + +Graham hurriedly began to make conversation. + +"Eva has been living at a farm on the Fells, mother. Her little girl +is delicate, but she is now going to Brighton with her mother. Do you +remember our first visit to Brighton—when we were boys? We had had the +whooping cough." He stopped. + +The allusion to his brother brought a shadow across his mother's face. +She sank back in her chair. Then she said— + +"Will you wait downstairs, Graham? There are too many of us in the +room. I feel I cannot breathe. No, Sara, do not leave me. You are the +only one I want. Now, Eva, what is it you want to say to me?" + +Sara was surprised at the quiet composure of her tone. + +Mrs. Jeffery looked a little disconcerted. + +"I don't know that I want to say more than I have already said. I want +you to be friends with me again." + +She glanced nervously at Graham as he was leaving the room. She had not +imagined that he would desert her at this juncture. + +"I think," said Sara, slowly, "that you were going to tell Mrs. Laird +that you saw that she did not touch the child when she fell. That she +never laid her hand upon her." + +Mrs. Laird lent forward in her chair. Her dark sad eyes were fixed +intently upon the young widow. "I should like to hear the truth," she +said. + +"Of course, Cousin Rachael, you did not touch her. Why should you +imagine that you did?" + +Mrs. Jeffery spoke feverishly. She had spoken hastily downstairs +without a thought of the consequences of her admission. Now she began +to remember more of the past, and wondered if Mrs. Laird did. She was +not left in doubt. + +"I imagined I might have done so though my heart told me I did not, +when you told my son that you saw me strike her down. But let the past +be past, Eva. May you find, as I have done, the source of peace for +misdeeds of words and acts. You cannot undo what you have done, but you +can be sorry for it. And I am not going to judge you. If you have a +child, train her to guard her lips against hypocrisy and untruths." + +Sara had turned away whilst Mrs. Laird was speaking. She felt +uncomfortable at being forced to be present at this interview, and +stood looking out of the window upon the blue lake and encircling hills +in the distance. + +She heard a little sob come from Mrs. Jeffery. + +"Oh, you are still hard upon me! You never liked me, and I have always +craved for your affection. I am alone in the world now. They say there +is nothing like kinship. I hoped we might draw nearer together." + +"You have your child to live for. I am alone in the world too, but I +have a son, and I am content." + +"I hope you are not angry at my coming to-day?" + +"No, I am not angry. Let us bury the past. The world is large enough +for you and me to live our own lives in it without jarring one another. +Now, as this is my rest time I must say good-bye to you." + +Then Sara turned. + +Without a word Mrs. Jeffery took the hand Mrs. Laird offered her, and +left the room. + +When the door had closed upon her, Mrs. Laird lay back in her chair +with a weary sigh. + +Sara arranged her cushions with loving care. + +"Now I am going to leave you for an hour. Get some sleep if you can. +And we won't think or talk about this visit any more to-day." + +Mrs. Laird smiled at her. + +"You are one of the most tactful people I have ever met. I can't talk. +My heart is so lacerated and hurt. I will try to rest, but sleep is +impossible." + +Then Sara left her and went to her room where she tried to write some +letters. But she was painfully conscious of the young widow pacing up +and down the garden paths with Graham, and talking in low earnest tones +as she did so. + +At last, the dog-cart came round, and Graham drove her away in it. + +Sara purposely did not go down. She knew that Mrs. Jeffery had bitterly +resented her being present at the interview with Mrs. Laird, and had +she known that the old lady would show such force and composure, she +would not have stayed. + +At tea-time she went back to Mrs. Laird, but talked brightly to her on +different topics, and then brought out her guitar and began to sing. + +Graham slipped into the room before she finished. + +And then Sara left mother and son together. She did not see Graham +alone till late in the evening. And then as she came into the +sitting-room, she saw him at his writing-desk, turning over packets of +old letters and carefully reading them through. + +He looked up at her. + +"Well," he said, "I can hardly say my cousin's visit has been a +success, but at least my mother seems none the worse for it in spite of +all your gloomy prognostications!" + +"No," said Sara, quietly. "The relief at finding her instincts true, +after all, has done her good. As I know all the sad story, can I speak?" + +"Of course." + +Graham turned in his chair as Sara took a seat by the open window. + +"Do you realize the tremendous importance to your mother of your +cousin's assertion that she never laid a hand upon the child?" + +"Yes," said Graham, slowly; "and I am trying to find my brother's +letter to me at the time. He misunderstood the facts." + +"He got the facts from your cousin." + +"You speak as bitterly as my mother. I hardly think that is the case. +Or in his grief he must have distorted them. Ah, this is his letter +which he wrote to me at the time." + +For a moment there was silence, whilst Graham unfolded the +foreign-looking letter in his hand. His brows were knitted in +perplexity as he read. He folded it up with a sigh. + +"He says in it that my mother struck the child, that Eva saw her do it. +It is very sad, perplexing, but does it do any good now to rake up all +the past? It was an accident." + +"Yes, let us leave it at that. But your mother knows now that it was +not her actual hand that killed the child, and I am glad for her +sake that that point has been cleared. Is Mrs. Jeffery leaving the +neighbourhood this week?" + +"I do not know exactly. I think she is." + +"You will not bring her over here again?" + +Graham made an impatient movement in his chair. + +"Upon my word, Miss Darlington, you do try to manage us all!" + +Sara rose. "I beg your pardon," she said, and left the room. + +They did not meet again that evening. She felt vexed with him, and he +was angry with her. + + +But the next morning they met at breakfast as if nothing had occurred +to annoy them. Only just as Graham was leaving the table, he spoke to +her— + +"Forgive my hasty words last night, Miss Darlington. I know you have my +mother's interests at heart, and nobody else is of any consequence at +all!" + +He smiled as he finished his sentence, and Sara looked up at him with +her frank pleasant laugh. + +"You are right," she said; "I think of no one but your mother. I want +her to get perfectly happy and well, and would sweep away all the +hindrances to it with a ruthless hand." + +"Shall we take her out upon the lake this afternoon? I shall have a +couple of hours' leisure; and it is a lovely day." + +"It will be delightful if I can manage it." + +So peace was made between them, and Mrs. Jeffery was not mentioned +again. + +What Mrs. Laird had said to her son Sara never knew. She was singularly +calm now that the dreaded visit was over. + +When Sara came to tell her of the proposed boating expedition, she laid +her hand on her arm and said— + +"I will come if Graham wishes it. Sara, cannot you and I make him happy +here?" + +Sara knew what was her underlying thought. She answered lightly— + +"I think he is happy, Mrs. Laird. We all are, are we not?" + +"I never thought I could be," said Mrs. Laird in a low tone, "but the +relief that came to me yesterday has almost made me so. I am not going +to look back at the past. I prayed this morning that as my sins had +been forgiven me, so I might forgive hers. One sinner has no right to +condemn another sinner. And I am not going to fear the future. I am +even anticipating a delightful old age, if what I wish comes to pass." + +Sara did not ask what that wish was. + + +That afternoon, Mrs. Laird was very carefully wheeled down in her chair +to the lake, Graham settled her comfortably in the boat, Sara steered, +and he rowed. + +It was an exquisite afternoon. The hills were purple with heather and +ling, the lake reflected the deep blue sky, and a soft breeze fanned +their faces as they slowly glided along. + +"You're enjoying it, mother?" Graham asked, looking at her with fond +affection. + +"I only wish we three could be always together like this," said Mrs. +Laird with fervour. + +Graham smiled. + +Sara glanced at him. + +With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, in his white boating +flannels, and his straw hat shading his face, he looked this afternoon +ten years younger than he was. There was a briskness and energy about +him, and a brightness in his eyes, that was quite unusual. + +Sara herself irradiated sunshine round her. Her grey eyes were shining +with deep content. And she lapsed into a happy reverie from which she +was roused by Mrs. Laird asking her to sing to them. + +"You promised me to bring your guitar." + +"So I have," said Sara, "but I cannot steer and play at the same time." + +"Oh, I'll manage the boat," said Graham. + +"What shall I sing?" asked Sara. "It must be something bright!" + +Then she broke into a little song which Mrs. Laird loved. + + "Over the water lives my dear love + And I call him when I want him, + Over the water he hies to me + And oftentimes I flaunt him. + + "Over the water he thinks of me + He loves me, oh, so dearly! + His heart is too deep for me to reach, + I'm tired of trying—nearly! + + "Over the water I love him much, + But when he comes to woo me, + I laugh and make light of all he says + For the fear of love goes through me. + + "Over the water my love falls ill, + I die with anxiety—nearly. + Over the water I haste to him, + I love him, oh so dearly!" + +Sara's voice always pourtrayed the words she sang. There was a +tremulous intensity in her last notes that made Graham suddenly raise +his eyes and look at her. + +And she was startled to see a fire and passion in his face that she had +never conceived could be existent beneath his grave cold exterior. For +a moment, it almost took her breath away, she gazed away over the lake, +feeling her pulses throb in an inexplicable fashion. + +Then Mrs. Laird urged her to sing again, and this time she took care +that it should be no love song. + +When she put her guitar down, they were silent for a time, then Graham +began to tell a country legend about a certain headland overlooking the +lake. + +"Sir Malcolm's house was once a monastery, and long ago the abbot there +used to go up to that headland and pray. One moonlight night, he was +startled by a strange hand being placed on his shoulder, but turn as +he would, he could not see the stranger behind him. All he heard was, +'Pray to the one who holds you.' And he knew it was the Devil who +spoke. Then ensued a fearful struggle, for the abbot said he owned only +the Master to Whom he prayed. The Devil tried to hurl him into the +lake, and at last, as the abbot felt his strength departing, he sank to +his knees crying: 'Into Thy Hands, Lord, I commend my spirit.' + +"With a wild cry the Devil fled, the abbot was saved and lived many +years after, but the imprint of his knees, they say, are still to be +seen on the rock over there." + +"That's rather nice," Sara said, then she added, almost under her +breath— + + "'And Satan trembles when he sees + The weakest saint upon his knees.'" + +Mrs. Laird looked at her with a smile. + +"It's true," she said quietly. "Prayer is power." + +"I wish I could believe that," said Graham, looking at his mother +thoughtfully. + +"Sara will make you believe it," said Mrs. Laird, quickly. "She made +me—and I've proved it true. Only prayer, my dear Graham, enabled me to +meet and talk with Eva yesterday. Only prayer makes me able to forgive +her for her false statements so long ago." + +"We won't think of the past," Sara said gaily. "Look at the sun on the +hills! What exquisite colouring!" + +She saw the shadow coming over Mrs. Laird's face again. If she forgave, +she could not forget, and Sara wanted her mind to have a rest. + +They glided on until they nearly reached the opposite side, and then +they found it was time to return. + +Mrs. Laird was much the better for her outing. And when she retired to +rest for the night, she called Sara to her. + +"I keep thinking of the legend Graham told us of. How true it is to +life! I feel I have been in the Devil's grip for all these years, but +you have taught me to pray, and his power over me has gone. I am so +thankful and happy, my dear. And am even glad that I saw Eva yesterday. +She rolled such a weight off me when she told me that I never touched +my darling. If only Edmund had not believed her when she told him the +contrary! But I won't think of it. I am going to try to make up to my +son for all the gloom and crossness and unsociability of these past +years. You will help me, will you not, and don't lose patience if I +sometimes lapse into gloom? God will help me to conquer. I have been a +selfish woman all my life, but I want to serve the One Who has forgiven +me and given me peace." + +Sara kissed her warmly, but could hardly trust herself to speak. Mrs. +Laird was almost like a little child in her simple pathos. She seemed +now to have come out into the clear shining after rain, and Sara could +hardly believe sometimes that she was the same woman as the one who +had greeted her a few months before with such irritable impatience and +scorn. + + + +CHAPTER X + +GRAHAM'S DEPARTURE + +"DO you think you could take care of my mother whilst I go to town for +a few days?" + +"Most certainly," replied Sara, promptly. "We are always happy +together." + +Graham had never before left home for even a night. His request almost +amused Sara; and he was quick to catch the sparkle in her eyes. + +"I suppose you think I don't do much in the way of looking after my +mother? But before you came, she refused to go to bed unless she was +assured that I was close to her." + +"I quite believe it. Now she can spare you easily; and I hope you will +take more than a few days if you can. It will do you a lot of good. +Don't you think we all need change from our surroundings sometimes?" + +"I am content. One learns to adapt one's self to one's circumstances." + +Mrs. Laird offered no objections to her son's proposed visit to town. + +And he left early one morning, saying he would be back in three days' +time. + + +Later that same day Sara went out for a ramble over the hills. The +bracken was already tinged with gold, the heather dying, and the young +gorse beginning to bloom. She took Snooks with her, and paid a visit to +the herb doctor's daughter. + +She found the latter busy taking some honey from her beehives, and Sara +watched the operation with the greatest interest. Then they sat down on +a rough bench outside the little hut, and began to talk. Agnes had by +this time lost all her shyness and reserve; and she and Sara were the +best of friends. + +As Sara looked over the exquisite range of hills and valleys with the +golden sunshine stealing across them, and the shadows of the clouds +above following in its track, she drew a long breath of delight. + +"Oh, I wish I lived up here, Agnes; I don't think I should ever get +tired of looking out over these lovely hills. One feels such rest and +peace in one's soul in lovely scenery like this." + +"I think different people feel different," said Agnes; "I never took +much notice when I was miserable. How is Mrs. Laird?" + +"Very much brighter and happier in every way." + +"I always look upon her and myself as a bit alike in our experience," +said Agnes, slowly. "'Tis strange that you should be friends with both +of us, but I s'pose you go through life hunting out the gloomy." + +"Indeed, I don't," said Sara, smiling. "It was quite by accident we +came across each other." + +Agnes nodded. + +"Yes, I was much put about when I saw you first. But I can't thank you +enough for putting me on to my Bible. I read it in the evenings, and +lately I've been reading a bit here and there to father. It's good to +think of another life to come, when this is such a poor failure." + +"I won't allow that, Agnes. We have our rough bits of road and cloudy +days, but you have a good many years before you yet—at least I hope +you have—and there's no reason why you should not live those years in +sunshine." + +"Oh, miss! How can I?" + +Sara looked at her affectionately. + +"Open your heart to the real Sun, Agnes. The Bible tells you of Him. If +He comes inside you, your life can become a glory!" + +Agnes drew a long breath. + +"Tell me how you feel," she said. "You look as if sunshine be bursting +out of you all over." + +Sara could not help laughing, and her laugh was so infectious that +Agnes joined her. + +"I'm not one for an example," she said, "but I must say I can't help +feeling happy. This summer weather is delicious, and my invalid is +getting cheerier every day, and there's so much to do that wants doing, +and our unseen Friend, Agnes, is so tender and loving, such a Guide and +Protector!" + +"I wish I knew Him as you do." + +Then Sara sat and talked to her of that Friend, and Agnes's heart +quickened and glowed as she listened. + +When Sara at last left her, promising to come again soon, it was +already late in the afternoon. She was hastening downhill when a loud +whistle behind her made her turn round. It was Colonel Fleming. + +He overtook her. + +"Quite breathless with the chase!" he exclaimed. "How you do fly along! +May I come back with you for a cup of tea?" + +"Yes, do. I believe Mrs. Laird will see you. We are going to have it in +the garden." + +"And so the stay-at-home has gone to have his fling! Saw him and Mrs. +Jeffery this morning at the station. They went off together." + +Sara did not show her surprise. + +"He will only be away for a few days. It will be very good for him to +have the change." + +"Won't it just! I say, Miss Darlington, do you think you could persuade +him to come up to Scotland with me in a month's time? I'm going to +shoot with an old pal of ours. I go every year; and last year we did +our utmost to get Graham up there. But his mother is so much better +now, he might be persuaded. Is it rough on you if he goes? Would you be +lonely?" + +"I don't really know the meaning of that word," said Sara, smiling at +his sudden concern for her. "I have been the one woman in the house +ever since I left school, first with my father, then with my brother; +and you know the ways of men!—Always out, and liking their womenkind +always in!" + +"Yes—yes—I believe we do. I hate now coming into an empty house with +nobody to greet me—well—you'll try and do what you can to make Graham +go with me. Wish you'd seen him some years ago—he has fossilized +here—no spring or energy in him, and he used to be a first-class shot +too; Ferris won't preserve—and there's not much shooting about here. My +own is very poor. Lyle—the chap who's asked me to his shooting-box—has +got splendid covers and sport. He and Graham did some game-hunting +together in India and I joined them for a time. It would be like old +times to have Graham with us again." + +"We will try to make him go," said Sara. + +Colonel Fleming talked hard till they reached the house. + +They found Mrs. Laird pacing up and down the garden paths enjoying +Sara's bright flower border. Just for an instant, from long habit, she +began to retire to the house, when she saw that Sara was not alone, but +the Colonel stepped blithely forward— + +"May I have a cup of tea, Mrs. Laird? So glad to hear you're better. +If I'm going to drive you indoors, I'll go—I forced myself upon Miss +Darlington. Graham and I often have tea and a smoke at this time +together." + +"I shall be very glad if you will stay," said Mrs. Laird, seating +herself in an easy-chair under an acacia tree; "my son is away." + +"Yes, so I heard—glad he was able to have a change. Ferris is a beggar +for keeping his agents hard at it. You don't know him, do you, Mrs. +Laird? No loss, I can tell you. He and I had words the other day over +boundary marks. And I said to him,— + +"'Look here, sir, you've your own property, and so have I. It don't +matter whether we possess one acre or a million, but the rights of +owners have to be respected, and I jolly well respect mine, I can tell +you!' + +"The little bounder began to jaw, but I jawed too, and when once my +tongue is loose, I can tell you nobody can get an innings!" + +Colonel Fleming was now leaning back in a garden chair perfectly +at ease, and Sara saw to her delight that Mrs. Laird was quietly +interested in his talk. She poured out tea and took a part in the +conversation. + +And when the Colonel eventually departed, Mrs. Laird said thoughtfully— + +"I can understand Graham's affection for that man. He is his only +friend in these parts, but he's such cheery company." + +"I have never seen him anything but cheerful," said Sara. "He gets +pleasure out of everything." + +"Like yourself. It was a fortunate day when you came to me, Sara. You +have made life very different to me, and to Graham too. He sees the +difference in the house. I wonder what business has taken him to town?" + +Sara was wondering that too. She did not tell Mrs. Laird that Mrs. +Jeffery had gone up to town with him. She hardly knew herself if it +was prearranged or mere coincidence. She hoped the latter, and then +resolutely turned her mind from dwelling upon the subject. + +"It has nothing to do with me. They are cousins, and he has a right to +help her if she needs a man's help." + +But a letter from Graham to his mother, bearing the Brighton postmark, +made her very thoughtful. It arrived two days later, and Sara took it +to Mrs. Laird upon her breakfast tray. Mrs. Laird smiled as she took it +into her hand. + +"You wouldn't believe how few letters I have received from Graham. For +fourteen years he has never been away from me." + +Then she put on her spectacles and began to read it. Her smile soon +faded. She looked up at Sara, with fear in her eyes. + +"Eva has got hold of him. He is with her at Brighton—says she has got +into some legal worry over a furnished house she has taken there, and +has gone down to straighten matters out. Oh, my dear, I fear, I fear +she means to marry him!" + +"Oh no, why should she?" said Sara, trying to speak carelessly. "She +has the whole world to choose from. I think myself, if she marries +again, it will be to somebody who can give her more than your son can. +Forgive my plain speaking." + +"Yes—yes, I know, and Eva always thought a good deal of wealth and +position. He says he may be away a little longer than he intended." + +"It will do him good," Sara said. "We shall get on very well by +ourselves." + +But both she and Mrs. Laird missed Graham a good deal. The absence of a +man in the house made itself felt, and the evenings, which were already +drawing in, seemed very long. + + +A fortnight elapsed before he returned, and then one day he wired, and +arrived a few hours after his wire. + +Sara had planned a surprise for him. The little drawing-room was in +use; a small bright fire burned in the grate; and Mrs. Laird was down, +and sitting in the easy-chair, her work-table at her side. The room was +bright with flowers. + +Graham could at first hardly believe his eyes. His mother stood up and +greeted him. + +"Yes, I am in possession here. Has not Sara made the room pretty? And I +have been dining downstairs for some days now. I have become tired of +my bedroom." + +"It's like old times, mother." + +He said little, but his face glowed. He had returned much brighter in +spirits, and had a good deal to tell them of several old friends he had +come across in town. + +"And Eva?" asked Mrs. Laird, quietly. "How is she?" + +"Not very well. She has been having a lot of worries. I settled the +matter of the house, but she is looking for a good boarding-school for +her child, and it seems to involve a good bit of fatigue and anxiety." + +"True is rather small for a boarding-school," said Sara. + +"I don't know. I think I advised it. Hotel and boarding-house life +isn't good for a small child. And Eva doesn't care for housekeeping. +This furnished house gave her such a lot of trouble that she declares +she will never try another." + +The subject was dropped. When dinner was over, they all returned to the +drawing-room. Graham could not get over the strangeness of having his +mother downstairs again. But before many days had passed, it seemed +perfectly natural. Mrs. Laird still breakfasted in her room, but +appeared to lunch, and was downstairs for the rest of the day. + +And when Colonel Fleming came over, he joined the family circle as +a matter of course. Mrs. Laird was always quiet, but took part in +conversation now, and was increasingly interested in matters concerning +the outside world, from which she had retired for so many years. + +And then Colonel Fleming broached the subject of the Scotch shooting +visit. A letter came from Sir Douglas Lyle urging Graham to accompany +him, and after much persuasion from every one, Graham at last gave way, +and said he would go. + +The night before he went, he talked to Sara about it. + +"Of course it is you who have brought this about," he said, looking at +her with a gleam of amusement in his eyes. "You are longing to boss +the whole show here, and get rid of me. I am convinced that my mother +would never have agreed to it had you not worked upon her feelings in +private. Have you any wicked plans or devices up your sleeve?" + +Sara stood against the fire in the drawing-room as he spoke. One of her +slender feet was on the fender. She was dressed in a plain powder-blue +velveteen gown, a little open at the neck. Very graceful and queenly +she looked, and when she raised her eyes to his they looked rather +wistful than gay, though she spoke as lightly as he. + +"If I had, I would not produce them for your benefit. You must thank +the Colonel and your mutual friend Sir Douglas Lyle for the invitation, +not me! I have nothing to do with it. But we are all agreed that a +change of air and scene will be good for you." + +"Indeed? Am I such a surly brute that you look forward to my absence +with pleasure?" + +"No," said Sara, calmly, "you are not surly now. You were when I first +came. But no man or woman thrives when they are left too long in the +same rut. And this is a very small corner for a man to live his life +in, year in and year out. You must remember circumstances are changing. +You have steeled and trained yourself to a life of restraint and +repression until you were almost becoming mechanical in your ways. Now +we all want to shake you out of that life. The cause and reason of it +is being removed." + +"What a very poor creature I am in your sight." There was bitterness in +his tone. + +"Oh, Mr. Laird, what have I said to make you think that? If you only +knew—why, you are simply a marvel to me! Don't let us misunderstand +each other to-night. But, believe me, your mother herself wants you to +go. It will bring balm to her spirit when she realizes that she is no +longer a tie to you here. And I think you will bring her the greatest +pleasure when you return with all your news. She will be so freshened +up to hear it, so interested in all that you can tell her." + +"I suppose it is egotism on my part, but I should like to feel that I +shall be missed." + +"Oh, we can assure you of that," said Sara, with one of her soft +laughs. "But you will not see us with long faces till you are out of +the house. Would it comfort you to know that we shall feel deadly flat +and depressed when you are really gone?" + +Then Graham smiled in his turn. + +"I hope you will take care of yourselves," he said; "and remember if +anything occurs to make you need a man, send for Fleming or wire for +me." + +Sara nodded, and said no more. + + +Mrs. Laird had a few last words with her son, and there were tears in +her eyes as she wished him good-bye. But when he had driven away, she +put her hand on Sara's arm. + +"I never thought that I could live in this house without him. But you +are such a tower of strength to me! And I realize now that he ought to +see more of his old friends. I have asked him to call upon a cousin +of ours who lives near the Border. She is the only relative of mine +now living. Rather an eccentric woman she used to be, but perhaps you +would not call her so. I remember I thought her very good and very +narrow, but full of good works. She simply lives for the welfare of her +tenants. There is coal on her property, and she treats the colliers in +the most marvellous way. She told me she felt responsible for every +soul amongst them. Can you imagine the sort of woman she is?" + +"A very delightful sort, I should think," said Sara. + +She and Mrs. Laird had a quiet but happy time together. It was a fine +autumn and they spent much of their time out of doors. Sara was very +busy tidying up the garden. She raked and swept the paths, and with +the help of Samuel made big bonfires of weeds and hedge prunings. Mrs. +Laird looked on with great interest, and suggested that they should +look over a bulb catalogue together, and send for a nice supply to +plant at once. + + +One day Sara was surprised by a letter from Colonel Fleming. He wrote, +he said, to ask her if she would mind asking the herb doctor to go and +see one of his dogs. + + "My housekeeper," he wrote, "has told me Trust is ailing and won't eat +her food. When you are rambling over the hills, I know you will not +mind asking him to go over and have a look at her. We're having good +sport here. Graham doesn't know himself amongst so many of his old +pals. And who do you think arrived yesterday? Mrs. Jeffery! There is +quite a big house-party. Mrs. J—, I heard, asked herself. She knows +Lady Lyle, but they are not very intimate. Why is Mrs. J— making such a +dead set at Graham? She's not half good enough for him. And I shall do +my best to frustrate her efforts. This might be a cackle from some old +maid, might it not? Well—so long! My kind regards to Mrs. Laird. You +should both be up here. I'll bring Graham back heart whole if I can. I +don't cotton to Mrs. J—. Never did! + + "Yours, + + "JACK FLEMING." + +Sara did not read this letter to Mrs. Laird, but it depressed her. She +felt annoyed with Colonel Fleming for gossiping, and yet she knew he +must have had good grounds for writing so. She went off to the herb +doctor that same afternoon, but there was a weight on her spirits which +would not lift. + +"Why should it matter to me?" she asked herself impatiently. "If a +man likes a woman well enough to propose to her, nobody can stop him. +Graham won't be her 'victim.' He will do it of set deliberate purpose. +It is Mrs. Laird who will be the chief sufferer! Oh, what fools some +men are! How entirely they judge by the surface! What can he have in +common with Eva Jeffery? And how can a woman of her butterfly tastes +expect a grave-thinking man like Graham Laird to content her for life? +It will be disaster—I know it will!" + +Not even the fresh mountain air could exhilarate her. She went and +returned in the same low spirits, and it was well for her that she +could not brood over her bit of news when in Mrs. Laird's company. +She forced herself to be cheerful then, and, as is often the way, she +succeeded in bringing back a certain amount of brightness into her own +soul, as she was making the effort to brighten another. + + + +CHAPTER XI + +A YOUNG VISITOR + +COLONEL FLEMING was the first one to return, and he came round to see +Mrs. Laird at once. + +"Graham has gone to Dalby," he informed her. "Some relative of yours +there, eh? He'll be following me in a few days' time. His change has +done him a lot of good, Mrs. Laird. He was in first-rate form, and his +shooting took the cake!" + +"We are expecting him in three days' time," said Mrs. Laird. "I hope +you all enjoyed yourselves." + +"Oh, it was great sport. Quite a big house-party. I told you Mrs. +Jeffery turned up." + +"Not Eva?" said Mrs. Laird in astonishment. + +Colonel Fleming gave a little chuckle. + +"Clever young woman she is," he said. + +Sara suddenly frowned at him; and her frowns were so unusual that he +gave an embarrassed cough. + +"Er—well—she's a pretty young woman, Mrs. Laird, eh? And a great +favourite with some of the fellows there. She's not there now, you +know. Left when we did. We travelled part of the way together." + +"How is your farm getting on?" Sara asked. + +Colonel Fleming immediately plunged into a list of delinquencies on the +part of his men in his absence, and Sara kept him busy on that topic +till he went. + +She accompanied him to the hall door, and said then— + +"I do wish you would not mention Mrs. Jeffery in conversation with Mrs. +Laird. Don't you know that she does not like her?" + +"Awfully sorry! But 'pon my word she is a minx! Do you know she's +made Graham her child's sole guardian and trustee? And such a lot of +confidential business she transacts with him! I got hold of her one day +and tried to warn her that he never would be a marrying man. + +"'Such stuff to make him a trustee for your child!' I said to her. 'Why +don't you marry again and let your husband do it? Lots of chaps waiting +for you to encourage them a bit!' + +"And then she looks at me with her big reproachful eyes. 'Graham is the +only relation I have in the world!' she says. 'If I can't turn to him, +whom can I turn to?' + +"'Well,' I said, 'of course he'll be a single unattached man to the end +of his life—told me so the other day—so he'll have more time to give to +the business perhaps.' + +"She gave a little ghost of a smile and walked away. She always walked +away from me, but I put Charlie Carter on her track—told him she had a +fat little income, and was feeling her lonely state. He admired her, +likes womanly women you know, and he haunted her steps, has got her +address at Brighton, and means to turn up there soon. My dear Miss +Darlington, I'd rather see Graham married to your Izzie than to that +young lady! There's something slimy about her! Can't help myself! I +never could cotton to her when she was here, but I dare say that's +because she didn't like me. She has a way of pleasantly ignoring +anybody that won't be of any use to her!" + +"Well," said Sara, laughing, "Mr. Laird is able to look after himself, +I think, and if he is fond of her, you must stand back and let him have +his desire." + +"I never will!" said Colonel Fleming, stamping upon the ground +energetically. "I've looked after him too long. Miss Darlington, Graham +is a chap who lives for other people, not himself. And those sort +want to be protected. If he thought a woman wanted him, he would give +himself away to her out of sheer cussedness of generosity! It wouldn't +matter about his life at all, only about hers. And I'm not going to see +him make a mess of his affairs as—as I've done." + +His tone softened. Sara spoke very quietly. + +"My dear Colonel, Mr. Laird would not be at all likely to desert his +mother or bring a wife into her house whom she would not welcome. +You say yourself that he told you he had no intention of being ever +anything but a bachelor. Does not that content you?" + +"Yes, yes, of course I'm a fool, an old fool. Good-bye, take care of +yourself. You look a little fagged. Had any hill rambles lately?" + +"Not many. I shall when Mr. Laird is home again." + +She went indoors, thinking how good it was to have such a staunch true +friend as Colonel Fleming, and wondering uneasily if there was any +foundation for his fears. She found it difficult to soothe Mrs. Laird +when she joined her again. + +"I am convinced Eva means mischief. She wants to take my son from me, +and she will make him miserable—his life will be a hell on earth with +her! It wasn't a coincidence her being included in that house-party. +She managed it all. I know her!" + +This and more Mrs. Laird poured into Sara's ears, and she listened and +expostulated, but could give little real comfort. + +Mrs. Laird grew feverishly anxious for her son's return, and yet when +he did come, she had actually so worried herself into a sick headache +that she was obliged to go to bed before he arrived. + +But in a quarter of an hour Graham had restored her peace of mind to +her. The very look of him, the calm grave tone of his voice, and the +affectionate inquiries after her health, all brought reassurance to +her. She felt that he had at present no desire to wreck her peace and +spoil their home together. + +"I'm a regular stay-at-home," he said to her, with a little smile +coming to his lips. "Do you know I have been counting the days to get +back to you! Now, I'm not going to talk much to-night. To-morrow I have +a lot to tell you about Cousin Anna. My mind is full of her at present." + +Mrs. Laird turned over on her pillows with a rested heart, and went +sound asleep directly he had left her. + +Sara and Graham dined together downstairs. Their conversation was +mostly on local topics, but towards the end of the meal, he looked +round the room meditatively. + +"We are old and shabby," he said, "but how is it you give such an +atmosphere of bright comfort in the room in which you are? I have felt +nothing like this the whole time I have been away, and yet our quarters +at Lyle's shooting-box were most luxurious!" + +Sara laughed. + +"That is good to hear," she said; "I must tell your mother that. I wish +you had not come home to find her laid up. She and I have had very good +times together, and last Sunday she went to church with me!" + +Graham looked astonished. Then he said quietly— + +"You are a wonderful woman." + +When dinner was over, Sara went upstairs to Mrs. Laird. She soon came +down to the drawing-room, and found Graham reading his newspaper there +before the fire. + +"Now," she said, "we have another surprise for you! Mrs. Laird has gone +to sleep, and I do not want to wake her, but she asked me to show you +the surprise. Will you come this way?" + +She stepped out into the passage and opened the door of what had been a +lumber-room. It was behind the kitchen and looked out into the garden. +Graham could hardly believe his eyes. All the boxes and rubbish had +disappeared. A dark crimson carpet was on the floor, and the same +coloured curtains to the big square window. There was a square table +with a new desk and inkstand, two big leather armchairs. A bureau with +a glass bookcase on top, and a roomy cupboard in a recess. Some old +prints lined the walls which were covered with a grey paper. A small +bright fire flickered in the grate. + +It looked as it was meant to look, a man's room waiting for him to +occupy it. + +"Your mother thought of everything. She was horrified that you +had written, and read, and smoked, and ate in the same room—the +dining-room." + +"It did not seem worth while to move from it," said Graham. "I +really shan't know myself. What a revolutionary person you are, Miss +Darlington!" + +"But it isn't me! It is your mother." + +"Yes—yes—but you have carried out her wishes, and aided and abetted her +all through. I am in luck! Dear little mother!" + +He looked round him as pleased as any boy, and then Sara slipped away. +And Graham sank into one of the big chairs, pulled it close to the +fire, and lighting up his pipe gave himself up to some very pleasant +reflections. + + +The next day he went off early to interview Sir Malcolm, but got home +in time for lunch, and found Mrs. Laird downstairs and quite herself +again. + +At lunch, he began to talk of his visit to Dalby. + +"Cousin Anna was overjoyed to see me," he said. "I found her a pitiful +little creature, overtaxing her brains and strength by multiplicity +of good deeds, and being defrauded right and left by a most obnoxious +rogue of a secretary. She had just begun to find him out, and was +terrified of convicting him of dishonesty. I went to her in the nick +of time, for I spent a good day and night studying his books, and +then gave him the sack on the spot. She is one of the frailest little +creatures I have seen, does a man's work, and does not seem to have +a single capable person about her. The only person I saw who seems +to have any gumption is a sad overworked girl, a kind of companion +to her, I fancy. She, Cousin Anna told me, is her right hand in most +of her charitable objects, and it was she who opened her eyes to the +delinquencies of the secretary." + +"And what about her colliery?" asked Mrs. Laird. "Is she still working +that? Is that in a satisfactory condition?" + +"I should doubt it, for she is always changing her agents. She says +she must have a Christian man at the head of it. And her so-called +Christian men prove failures from a business point of view." + +"Poor Anna, she always was queer from a girl!" said Mrs. Laird. "Have +you been able to find her another secretary?" + +"Not yet. I want to overhaul her accounts a bit first. I have brought a +batch of books away with me, and promised her I will go back for a day +or two, till she gets straight again." + +"You are not going away again?" + +"Not for long, mother. I couldn't leave my work here. I may run up for +a week-end." + +"I don't really see why you should worry over Anna's business affairs. +Can't she engage a lawyer to work for her?" + +Graham smiled. + +"She says she doesn't trust lawyers, and she's a woman who likes +to keep the reins in her own hand. The consequence is that only +inferior and incapable people will work with her. But she has given +me 'carte blanche' to do what I like, provided I pull her out of her +difficulties." + +"How can you be in two places at once?" said Mrs. Laird. "Sir Malcolm +takes up all your time here." + +"Oh, I can do a good deal in a week-end. I should have the whole of +Sunday up there, and could get through a good bit of work in it." + +A sudden silence fell on them. Then Graham began to tell them about his +Scotch visit, and he was more animated than Sara had ever yet seen him. + + +Later in the day, he happened to come through the garden as Sara was +trimming some dead flowers and tying up her chrysanthemums. He stopped +and began to assist her. His help was very welcome, and Sara said as +she thanked him— + +"Your rôle in life seems to be to help us women." + +"It's the least I can do. I feel so sorry for my poor little cousin. +She is too guileless, and is taken in right and left. If she would only +not try to mix up religion with business she would get on much better." + +"I don't agree." + +"No, I know you don't. But the fact is there. These Christian +secretaries and agents are all rogues and hypocrites. They are fleecing +her." + +"Then that proves they are not genuine Christians. There is always the +counterfeit article, is there not?" + +He did not reply for a moment, then he said, abruptly— + +"I saw disapproval stamped upon your face when I mentioned working +for her on Sunday. Now, doesn't your Bible say somewhere that you can +rescue an animal on a Sunday? Is it more wicked to rescue a human +being, especially a little saint? If I don't do something for her, +she'll drift into a regular quagmire of debt." + +"I don't think she will let you work for her on Sunday," said Sara. +"You are a Christian, aren't you? We are all bound to respect the day +of rest." + +"I am bound to nothing. I never go to church, as you know." + +"I am hoping you will go with your mother next Sunday." + +"Why?" + +"It will please her, and will do you good." + +"I wish I could see things as you do. But religion has never +influenced me as a practical thing. And I am essentially practical and +matter-of-fact." + +"True religion is absolutely practical. May I quote St. James? What can +be more practical than his definition of it. + + "'Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To +visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep +himself unspotted from the world.'" + +"The latter condition is very vague." + +Sara shook her head. + +"We won't argue. But has not your mother's altered state of mind proved +that religion is very real and practical?" + +"But I don't put down my mother's improved health to her religious +views. It is your vivid personality that has impressed and changed her. + +"Nothing of the sort," said Sara, emphatically. "I could live with her +for fifty years and never be able to bring her peace of mind. She has +given herself into the keeping of our Master. He brought her into touch +with Himself, and she lives every day of her life now wholly dependent +on Him for strength and guidance." + +"You may fancy that, but it is your—shall I call it mesmeric influence +that plays upon her heart. If you went away, what would happen? Why, +ten chances to one, my mother would lapse into her old depression of +spirit." + +"Not now," said Sara, firmly. + +"Now, Miss Darlington, do you really believe that the Creator of the +Universe would take the trouble to pick out my mother as His special +charge?" + +"Certainly I do. What are we told? + + "'Thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose +name is Holy: I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is +of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, +and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.'" + +"You must know your Bible by heart," said Graham, with a little smile. +"I still maintain that you, rather than our Creator, influence my +mother." + +"I should almost like to go away from her to prove how wrong you are." + +"Oh, please don't do that! What a discussion we are having. I am only +too thankful for my mother's improved health and spirits—whatever may +be the cause!" + +The subject dropped. + + +But the following Sunday, Graham did accompany his mother to church, +and Mrs. Laird was very happy in consequence. He drove her there and +back, but Sara preferred to walk across the hills by herself. + +As Graham and his mother were returning, Mrs. Laird said— + +"I have missed a great deal of happiness all these years; what a +blessing Sara has been to us all!" + +"Would you miss her if she left you?" + +"Very much indeed. She is not thinking of doing so, is she?" + +"Not that I know of, but I suppose she will be wanting a change some +time. Would you be very miserable without her?" + +"My dear boy," and Mrs. Laird put her hand gently on his arm, "I don't +think I shall ever be miserable again. I have new life in my soul. It's +just as we were hearing this morning, 'The Lord guides us continually +and satisfies our souls in drought.' I have Him with me. And though I +have lived most of my life without Him, He has forgiven the past, and +now fills me with joy." + +"Very wonderful," murmured Graham, and he said no more. + +It was not long before he paid another visit to his old cousin. He was +only three or four days away, but he did not spend Sunday there, and +then he made an astonishing proposal to his mother the day before he +returned. + +"May I bring back Cousin Anna's young helper, a Miss Godwin? She has +had an attack of influenza, and is run down and badly needs a change. +Our beautiful hills will soon set her up again, and Cousin Anna is +quite willing to spare her." + +"A strange girl!" exclaimed Mrs. Laird to Sara. "How can we do it? We +never have visitors. There is no spare room. And how can we entertain +her when she comes? I have seen so few people that I am shy of meeting +strangers. If it were Anna herself, it would be different." + +"I think you might manage it," said Sara, persuasively. "There is an +empty room at the top of the house which I could move into, and give +her mine. You wouldn't have to entertain her. I expect it is rest she +needs. She would be quite happy, I am sure, if she were allowed to +amuse herself." + +"I shouldn't like you to turn out of your room at all, for you are +close to me, and I should miss you." + +"Very well, if you give me leave, I am sure I could make that top room +cosy for her." + +Mrs. Laird made no further objections, and Sara took Izzie to help +her, and worked very hard all that day and the next. But the result +fully paid her for her trouble. The little room looked quite fresh and +dainty, and Izzie was wildly excited at the prospect of a strange young +lady coming to stay with them. + +The travellers arrived by an early afternoon train, so that they +reached the house by five o'clock, and there was an abundant tea +waiting for them in the drawing-room. Mrs. Laird was quite composed +when she greeted the stranger; Sara looked at her with real interest. +She was a tall slim girl, with auburn hair, beautiful hazel eyes, and +a small white face and pointed chin. Her complexion was delicate and +transparent. When she got a little flush upon her cheeks from the fire +where she stood to warm herself, Sara thought her very pretty. But her +face in repose lacked animation, and she was very shy. + +Yet once, when Sara laughed, she looked up at her quickly with a flash +of light in her eyes, then in a moment lapsed into her quiet pensive +mood again. + +"Miss Godwin was not in love with our lake, Miss Darlington," said +Graham. "She did not make me pull up, and go into ecstasies over it as +you did." + +"Perhaps Miss Godwin has seen views like it before. You must remember I +came straight from London; and the contrast was very marked." + +The girl looked up quickly. + +"I have never seen anything like it before, but it was eerie and lonely +and desolate; it made me want to cry." + +"You must see it in the sunshine," said Sara, cheerily, "with the blue +sky reflected in it and the birds singing above it. You would want to +sing too!" + +The girl did not answer. She leant back in her chair looking tired and +fragile. And Sara noted with an ache at her heart how very thin she +was. She took her up to her room and did not worry her with talk. + +Graham was talking to his mother about her when Sara returned to the +drawing-room. + +"She is being worked to death, a willing slave, but Cousin Anna does +not realize the strain it is for a young girl to go on year in and year +out without any change or holiday. They are devoted to each other, and +once the doctor told her that Miss Godwin must go away, she was quite +anxious and willing that she should do so." + +"We will soon make her stronger." + +Graham looked at Sara with a grave softness in his eyes. + +"I told Cousin Anna that you would be better than a gallon of doctor's +tonics." + +"Thank you," said Sara, laughing. "I can't promise that, but change of +air and scene are better than a tonic any day." + + +Miss Godwin retired early to bed that evening, and Sara visited her the +last thing with a tumbler of egg and milk beaten up together, which she +insisted that she should take before she went to sleep. + +"I am going to take you in hand," she said, with one of her +irresistible smiles; "you are nothing but a bag of bones at present!" + +The girl flashed a grateful look at her. Then she impulsively put her +hand on Sara's arm. + +"I feel I am in a dream. Will you be my friend and let me talk to you? +And will you call me by my Christian name, which is Ina?" + +"A dear little name," said Sara, and she stooped and kissed her. "You +poor child," she added, "of course, I shall be delighted to be your +friend. Now good night. Sleep well, and then you will be able to talk +to me to-morrow." + +She left her and went downstairs, wondering why this girl had been +brought into the quiet life at Felstone Corner. + +When Sara re-entered the drawing-room, she found Graham still there +talking to his mother. He looked up at her inquiringly. + +"Well, what do you think of her? My mother fancies she may prove an +additional burden to you." + +"I have no burdens in this house," said Sara, happily; "my heart is +full of pity for her, and I'm longing to see her lose her careworn +lines and wrinkles." + +"I have been asking who she is," said Mrs. Laird. + +"And I have been telling my mother that she was the daughter of a +former rector of the parish in which our cousin lives. She was the only +child, and lost both her parents when she was seventeen. Cousin Anna +befriended her, and she has been living with her for the last seven +or eight years. A cold, joyless life, I should say, but you religious +people would say it ought not to be, for she has been entirely devoted +to good works." + +"Good works is a very vague term," said Sara. "In any case, all workers +need relaxation and rest sometimes." + +"I don't believe she has ever had it. Cousin Anna is wiry, and doesn't +like to be absent from her work. She told me she occasionally goes to +the sea, which is twenty miles or so from them, for a week-end. But +when she goes there, she takes all her accounts and reports and keeps +this child well at it for quite half of every day." + +"How will she manage without her?" + +"Quite well. A friend of hers has gone to stay with her. I really +believe if this girl had friends to whom she could have gone, she would +have been sent away before. But that was the difficulty which I tried +to solve." + +"Well," said Mrs. Laird, "she seems very gentle and quiet, and Sara +will know how to amuse her. Now I am going to bed. Good night." + +They separated. Sara's thoughts as she laid her head on her pillow that +night were full of Ina Godwin. She wondered at herself for taking such +an interest in her, for as a rule young girls did not appeal to her as +much as old people. + + + +CHAPTER XII + +"TOO GOOD TO LAST" + +"AND now can we talk?" + +"As much as ever you like." + +Sara was taking the young guest for her first walk across the hills. + +Ina was not as a rule a good walker, but the keen bracing air +invigorated her, and though Sara had to adapt her pace to hers, she was +enjoying her fresh experience of striding through the dead heather and +bracken. It was a still October morning. Curlews swooped and circled +round overhead, there was a fresh moist smell of earth, occasionally +they disturbed the sheep who were cropping the short turf, and Snooks +who was with them darted in and out of the furze bushes in the vain +hopes of putting up a rabbit to chase. + +Ina lifted her head, and drew in long breaths of the sweet pure air. + +"Oh, how I hate chimneys and smoke!" she said suddenly. "How good it is +not to see a sign of either up here!" + +"Tell me about your life," said Sara; and Ina began at once. + +"I love Aunt Anna—she lets me call her 'Aunt,' though I'm no real +niece—but I have got weary of all her work. Is that wicked of me? I +can't tell you how unselfish she is, but I wonder if ever God will be +able to make her rest in heaven. She will never rest here. And she has +had trouble upon trouble. I often wonder why people are allowed to +deceive her so! I have reasoned it out to myself sometimes, and I feel +as if every professing Christian must be a hypocrite! + +"And then I realize that in Aunt Anna's single-heartedness, she +lays traps for impostors. If she engages a servant, she must have a +Christian one, she says, and as she gives good wages, they pretend to +be what they are not, for the sake of the place. She is always getting +hold of reclaimed drunkards and putting them into places of trust and +responsibility, and then they break out, and there is disaster at once. + +"And then Mr. Wylde, her late secretary, he is an arch hypocrite, and +has been behaving in a perfectly shameless way, actually enticing +members of her young men's club to come to his house and play cards and +drink. I can't tell you what we have gone through. She hasn't had one +honest strong man amongst all her dependents. And then Mr. Laird came. +Isn't he wonderful? So quiet and capable and strong, with such keen +quick sight of right judgment. In one day he discovered what Mr. Wylde +was like, and he was sent away in twenty-four hours!" + +Ina paused for breath. Her eyes were glowing. She was quite +enthusiastic. + +Sara listened and sympathized; the girl talked on and told of the busy +life she had had since she had left school. + +"Have you had no young companions of your own age?" + +"I have never been young," said Ina, with a little wistful smile, "not +since I left school. Aunt Anna has some nieces, but they are smart +up-to-date girls who despise her, because she is old-fashioned and +good, and they look upon me as a poor dependent. You see I am always +so busy that I haven't a chance to know young people. I have friends +amongst the colliers, and I see servant girls and shop girls who come +down to our Home of Rest, but I can't exactly make friends of them. I +don't think I care about people much. I never meet anybody who takes +any interest in me. But there is no reason why they should." + +"Isn't there?" said Sara with a smile as she put her hand on her +shoulder. "Why, I was interested in you from the first moment I saw +you!" + +A swift bright colour came into Ina's cheeks. + +"Oh," she said, "you are so kind. I can't tell you what I feel like. +You are all such fascinating people to be with! Mrs. Laird with her +sad eyes and sweet smile, and clinging affection for Mr. Laird and +for yourself, and he—well, I've told you what I think of him, he's +like a chivalrous knight, thinks no trouble too much for a weak +defenceless woman. And you're a princess—I love to watch you moving +about. I watch for your smile and that lovely little laugh of yours: +you're the happiest person I've ever seen! Do you believe in people +distributing their auras around them? You make everybody in the room +with you comfortable and glad. Mr. Laird inspires one with safety and +confidence; you with joy and hope. And when I'm in the room with both +of you, I feel as if I were in heaven!" + +"My dear Ina, what a romantic little person you are!" Sara was much +touched. + +This quiet girl had keen observation as well as imagination. She had +not yet lost her youthful enthusiasms, though she was strangely worn +and old in other ways. + +And then suddenly, as they breasted the summit of the hill on which +they were, they came across Colonel Fleming riding on his stout old +cob. He dismounted at once and came forward in his usual impulsive +genial way. + +"Upon my word, I'm in luck! Was thinking of you, Miss Darlington, and +wondering whether Graham were back!" + +Sara introduced him to Ina. + +He shook hands with her. + +"Don't know who you are from Adam, but you look a good sort. A friend +of Graham's, eh? He seems to have a good many friends when he gets +away. Oh! Do you come from Dalby? Where he has been putting his +finger into a very muddled pie, eh? And what do you think of our +neighbourhood?" + +"I think it is all perfectly lovely!" + +"That's right. Then you'll be happy here. But you look like a wraith! +And I suppose Miss Darlington has trotted you up here to whip some +colour into your cheeks. I'm coming over this afternoon—want to look up +Graham on business! Do you know what I call Miss Darlington behind her +back? Balm. Just Balm. You'll soon find out what a good name it is for +her." + +If Ina was astonished at Colonel Fleming's rapid flow of talk, she +did not show it. But she smiled up at him, the first real smile of +appreciation and pleasure since her arrival. + +And then Sara and Colonel Fleming had a little talk together about +local matters, and presently Ina was addressed again. + +"Do you like horses? Ever ridden?" Ina was quietly stroking the nose of +the Colonel's old cob. + +"Yes, I used to ride when I was a little girl. We had an old pony." + +Sadness came into her eyes at the recollection of her childhood. + +Colonel Fleming looked at her, then at Sara. + +"Look here, will you come out riding with me? I have a quiet old +rocking-horse, who will carry you anywhere. If you've come down here to +get strong, there's nothing like riding over our hills, now is there, +Miss Darlington?" + +"I think it would be delightful for her. Wouldn't you like to ride, +Ina?" + +Ina's face flushed and paled by turns. + +"I think I would," she said. + +"That's good. Now we'll settle it right off. To-morrow afternoon sharp +at half-past two, I shall be at Felstone Corner with a mount for you." + +"But," gasped Ina, "I have no habit—nothing to ride in. And Mrs. Laird +might not like me to do it." + +"Habits be bothered! I've seen women on horseback in shorter skirts +than you're wearing at present, and nobody will see you on these hills. +Make yourself a guy, nobody will care. And as for Mrs. Laird, she'll +let you do any mortal thing you have a mind to, dance on your head if +you care to try!" + +Ina laughed, and Sara joined her. + +And then the girl promised to be ready; and the Colonel mounted his +horse and rode away. + +"I think I'm in a fairy tale," said Ina with sparkling eyes. "I seem to +be in another life altogether." + +She was a different girl when she returned to the house, bright and +animated and interested in everything about her. + + +In the afternoon, Sara made her rest. + +They had a pleasant evening together in the drawing-room. Sara brought +out her guitar and sang to them, and Ina played on the piano. She was +a good musician though she acknowledged that she had never time to +practise. + +And then Graham began to talk to her about his cousin's work. In the +course of conversation, Ina mentioned their new vicar, who had lately +married and settled in a house close to them. + +"Surely," said Sara, "you see something of him and his wife, don't you?" + +"Not much," said Ina. "Aunt Anna doesn't care for his wife. She isn't +a bit like a clergyman's wife. Won't do anything in the parish, and +dresses very smartly and plays golf and bridge. She says she's not +going to be her husband's curate. They don't seem very suited to each +other, they don't care for the same things." + +"And that means tragedy," said Sara, with deep feeling in her tone. + +Graham looked at her. + +"Why?" he asked. "A woman's tastes are different to a man's as a +general rule. But they get on together none the worse for that." + +"Ah, but," said Ina, hesitatingly, "Mrs. Arran despises good people and +parish work, and she laughs at it all, and wants her husband to be a +military chaplain in India, because then she says they would have no +parish." + +"I wonder why she married him," Sara said thoughtfully. "Marriage is so +irrevocable, two people pulling different ways tied together for life! +Oh, it's dreadful to think of! And it's so often done. One with his +hopes in heaven, the other with her hopes on the earth. How can they +live happily together?" + +Graham stirred in his chair. + +"I don't agree," he said, and his tone was rather abrupt and impatient. +"If one of them has an ounce of real religion worth having, he'll +impart it to the other." + +"I've never known that happen," said Sara, sadly, "and I've known +several ill-matched couples. It's generally just the other way. I +don't know why. But the power of evil seems greater than the good. I +know such a nice girl who married an atheist. She thought she would +influence him, and he assured her that she would, but she did not, and +instead, lost her own faith. She's a miserable woman now." + +"Then do you mean to say that no man ought to marry a woman unless he +and she think exactly alike from a religious point of view?" + +Graham's keen eyes were bent on Sara as he spoke. His tone was very +impressive. + +"How can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" quoted Sara, +softly. + +"You good people are very pharisaical!" + +And taking his pipe out of his pocket, Graham got up and left the room. +They heard him go into his smoking-room, and bang the door rather +violently. + +And Sara knew that she had vexed him. + +She did not see him again that night. + +And at breakfast the next morning, he was noticeably stiff in manner +towards her. But no one could resist Sara's sweet gaiety for long, and +he was no exception to the rule. + + +The next day Ina went off for her ride with Colonel Fleming. She was a +little nervous at the thought of it, but Sara encouraged and cheered +her. She lent her a loose covert coat of hers, and some leggings, and +watched her ride off with mixed feelings of envy and delight. She could +not forget the days when she rode out, and Colonel Fleming had never +offered her a mount, much as she would have liked it. + +Ina came back from her ride in glowing spirits. + +"I do like Colonel Fleming. What fun he is! He is just like a +schoolboy. He wants me to go again to-morrow. May I?" + +She appealed to Mrs. Laird, who at once agreed that she could. + +"My dear Sara," she said when the girl had left the room; "it is a +great relief to me to see how easily she is amused and entertained, +and she is very willing and helpful. She tidied out a drawer for me +beautifully this morning. She asked me to give her something to do." + +And before many days had passed, Ina had made herself quite at home. +She adored Sara, and loved nothing better than to work with her in the +garden, or sit sewing with her indoors. She was always ready to wait +upon Mrs. Laird, and showed her many little polite attentions. Graham +had the effect of awing her; she was rather silent when he was in the +room, but she confided in Sara that she thought he was like one of the +strong silent heroes in story books, who worked miracles of strength +and valour, when appearing to be absolutely immovable and passive. + + +One day Colonel Fleming did not come for the ride, but sent a message +that he would like to see Graham. And in the evening, after Ina had +gone to bed, Graham told them the reason of his summons. + +"Poor Fleming has just heard of his wife's death. It has rather upset +him." + +"But he has been divorced from her for years, has he not?" asked Sara. + +"Yes, her death has reopened all the past. He can't regret her, and yet +actually asked me if he ought not to get a black tie." + +"Poor man!" said Mrs. Laird, pityingly. "He can't forget that he was +once happy with her. Shall I write him a note of sympathy?" + +"For goodness' sake, no, mother! He will want no allusions to it. +Perhaps I ought not to have spoken. You must pretend you do not know." + +For a few days Colonel Fleming remained in seclusion, then he appeared +again, and happened to meet Sara in the garden. + +She saw a change upon his cheerful-looking face. There was a softness +and serenity in his eyes that had not been there before. He gripped her +hand silently. + +"I have been down in the valley," he said to her, "but I am up and out +of it now, ready to have a smack and a thrust at Apollyon again, when +he comes my way! How's Miss Godwin? What a good horsewoman she is! And +what a life she is leading with that little tyrannical saint of hers! +Can't you get her out of it? She wants a rescuer. Don't your ears burn +sometimes? You should hear the histories we tell each other of what you +do and say!" + +"I'm sorry you can't find a more interesting topic of conversation," +Sara said, looking at him with her bright smile. "She's a dear little +thing, isn't she? So grateful to every one for giving her pleasure. +I shall be quite sorry when she goes back, but her visit cannot be +prolonged much longer. She is impatient to be back—says she is wanted." + +"Rubbish! Keep her till she gets a little more flesh upon her bones. +She hasn't had a chance as yet." + +Ina happening to come up at this moment, he turned to her. + +"Talk of an angel! Well, did you hear what we were saying? That until +you were more respectably clothed with plump fat we shouldn't let you +stir from Felstone Corner! Have you been wondering at my absence? Joey +is eating his head off in the stable. I've been busy, and distracted +and rather down in the dumps, but I'm as cheery as a cricket now, and +am coming round to-morrow sharp at two, for the days are getting short. +Will you be ready?" + +"Oh yes," was the joyful response. "Thank you so much. I have missed +my rides, but I wonder you can find time to take me out at all, with +all your farm to see to. And do you know that I feel I could ride over +these lovely hills quite alone now? So if you would trust me with Joey +one day, then you need not be dragged away from your work!" + +"Couldn't trust you!" said the Colonel, emphatically. "Why, Joey might +take it into his head to take you near the cliffs: and landslips are +too frequent there for safety. Nobody drags, me, I assure you! I come +off as blithe as a bird!" + +The rides continued, and then one afternoon when Ina was out, a +telegram came for Graham. + + "Miss Harrison very ill—wants you." + +Happily he was in when it arrived. He made all arrangements for leaving +that night. + +Mrs. Laird was very distressed about it. + +"Poor Cousin Anna! I am sorry for her, but you cannot be continually at +her beck and call. She is always having attacks like this. That child +has told me so." + +"This is from her doctor," said Graham, gravely, and he went on +preparing for his journey. + +When Ina came home from her ride, she was told. In an instant, she +decided that she must go too. + +"I must! I must! I'm always with her when she is ill. I know how to +nurse her. She will miss me. Oh, how I wish I had not left her! I shall +never forgive myself if anything happens to her." + +"Graham is going to-night!" said Mrs. Laird, gently. "By the night +train. Men can travel so much easier than women. It would be too great +a rush for you!" + +"A rush! I could pack up in a quarter of an hour. If Aunt Anna is ill, +I would cross the ocean to get to her if necessary. Oh, Mr. Laird, you +won't refuse to take me?" + +"Of course I will not," was the quiet reply. "Pack up your boxes +and have a good meal before you start. I must ride over and see Sir +Malcolm. But I don't think there will be anything to detain me." + +Mrs. Laird, seeing the girl's distress, made no further objections. +Sara helped her to pack, and Ina flung her arms round her neck in +parting. + +"Oh, you've been so good to me! I've never been so happy in my life. I +knew it was too good to last." + +"But you're glad to be going to Miss Harrison?" + +"Oh yes, yes. I feel selfish in enjoying myself here whilst she has +been struggling to keep well. She always goes on till she drops. Her +doctor says she never husbands her strength. Oh, Miss Darlington, will +you pray hard that she may get better? My heart will break if she is +taken from me! I am always so afraid of it! And oh! I do thank you for +all your kindness and goodness to me. I have never been so happy in my +life before." + +She drove away by the side of Graham, looking back at the ugly little +farmhouse with smiles and tears. + +And Sara went indoors wondering what life held for the quiet unselfish +girl who had left them as suddenly as she had come. + +Mrs. Laird called to her. She was sitting knitting by the fire in the +drawing-room. + +Sara went across to her; and Mrs. Laird laid her hand caressingly upon +her arm. + +"You and I are left together, Sara. We shall be very happy, shall we +not? I am learning to give my son up to other women who need him. I +have kept him to myself for so long that I dare not try to do it any +longer." + +Sara kissed her affectionately. + +"He will be a great comfort to his cousin," she said. "Let us hope she +will get better, and then he will soon return to you." + +Mrs. Laird shook her head doubtfully. + +"I have a presentiment that she is not going to live, but if anybody is +ready to leave this world, I should think she must be. Her whole life +has been given to good works, and to real self-denial." + +Mrs. Laird proved right in her surmise. Two days afterwards, she +received a wire saying that her cousin had quietly and peacefully +passed away. + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +COUSIN ANNA'S HEIR + +GRAHAM LAIRD was away a fortnight. He had been left sole trustee to +many of Miss Harrison's charities, and he and her lawyer had a great +deal of business to transact together. Mrs. Laird insisted that Ina +should return with him, and make her house her home for the present, +until she settled what she was going to do. + +And so one wild stormy evening in December they returned together. + +Ina was very quiet and sad that first evening, but seized hold of Sara +when bedtime came. + +"Do come and see me the last thing, will you?" she entreated; and Sara +promptly promised that she would. + +Graham and his mother were talking very earnestly together when Sara +left them. She knew there would be much to discuss, and felt that they +would like to be alone. + +Ina welcomed her rapturously. + +"I can't tell you what it is to be back, I have so much to tell you. +Dear Aunt Anna has left me £500 a year. Just think of it! I can't +believe it. Why, I have never had a penny to call my own! But I +truthfully would rather have aunt back than enjoy her money; and, Miss +Darlington, I don't know what to do, nor where to go! She does not seem +to have expected me to stay on up there, and continue all my work, for +she has left all her philanthropic schemes to different people. Her +People's Clubs to the vicar, and her Rest Homes to her doctor, and I +believe Mr. Laird has been left nearly all the rest." + +"Tell me about her," said Sara, gently; "did she know you?" + +"Yes." + +A flood of colour rose into the girl's cheeks. + +"She was quite conscious, you know, and yet she spoke so strangely. I +hardly like to tell you. Mr. Laird was in the room, she sent for him +and for me together, and then she turned to him: + +"'I leave her in your charge,' she said. + +"And Mr. Laird nodded. Then she looked at me, and then her eyes went +back to him again. + +"'I should like to think that you would both carry on some of my work +together,' she said, 'but Ina cannot live here alone.'" + +"We were both absolutely silent, and she gave a little sigh." + +"'Ah, well, I leave it to God,' she said. 'He will arrange for His own +work and raise up those whom He needs for it.' + +"I did not see her again. She kissed me, and she whispered,— + +"'I hope you will marry, Ina. I would not when I might, and a lonely +woman is sadly crippled in many ways. My work here has needed a man's +hand, and it has not had it.'" + +"Now, don't you think it was strange of her to talk so?" + +Sara did not reply. + +Then Ina said impulsively— + +"It was almost as if she wanted Mr. Laird to marry me. I could laugh at +the idea. She little knew how he worships the ground you tread upon!" + +"Hush!" + +Sara's tone was quick and peremptory. + +"Don't hush me!" + +The girl was sitting up in bed, she took Sara's hand and lifted it to +her lips and kissed it. + +"There!" she said mischievously. "That's what he would give the world +to do, and a good deal more. Why, Miss Darlington, if you're out of +the room, he's always watching for you till you come again. Mrs. Laird +knows it as well as I do, and—and she's glad." + +"I did not come up to you to hear nonsense." + +Sara's head was lifted high. Ina was at once penitent. + +"Forgive me; my tongue has run away with me. And I'm really aching +in my heart for dear Aunt Anna. Death seems to have swept my last +belonging away from me. I suppose, now I have money, I must learn to be +independent and live alone. But the money is a trust, is it not? How +and where shall I use it?" + +"That you will be shown. Good night, dear. You are too tired to stay +awake talking. We shall have plenty of time for that to-morrow." + +Sara left her, but she did not go downstairs at once. She stood on the +staircase looking out of a narrow window overlooking the hills. The +moon was just rising, the sky clear and full of stars. Sara's face +was wrapt and dreamy, she opened the casement window and let the keen +frosty night air fan her hot cheeks. Then after a time, her lips moved. + +"It never could be!" + +A heavy sigh followed; she shut the window quietly and descended the +stairs to the drawing-room. + +Mrs. Laird—not Graham—looked up expectantly— + +"Sara, come here. We must tell you. It may mean a great change in our +lives. My son has been left the whole of my cousin's colliery." + +Sara was surprised. She turned to Graham. + +"May I congratulate you?" she said. + +"It's just as well to be tentative about it," he said looking at +her. "I don't know if it is a subject for congratulation. Though she +has left it to me unconditionally, I know that it has been more of a +burden than a blessing to my cousin. Wealth it may mean, but care and +responsibility, and a life no longer one's own!" + +"You have never had that," said his mother, thoughtfully. + +Her son looked at her quickly, then he gave her one of his rare smiles. + +"My life with the one who loves me best in the world has been good to +live," he said. + +Sara's eyes filled with quick unaccountable tears, as she thought of +the past dreary isolated years—the best of a man's life spent in and +about a sick-room. Then she said, with a little effort— + +"Does it mean that you will have to live on your property?" + +"I am afraid so." + +"And I have told him I am willing to go with him anywhere," said Mrs. +Laird. + +"I don't know why she has left it to me," Graham went on, "but she +tried to explain to me before she died. She would not leave it to her +nieces because she said they would spend the income on themselves and +on gaiety, and neglect her dear people. She would not leave it to Ina, +because she felt she was not strong enough for the burden of it. She +seemed to be looking back upon her own weakness; she said she had been +inefficient, and it needed a man's hand to keep things as they should +be. + +"I tried to tell her that her principles were not mine. And then she +gave me—a text, I believe. Isn't it one, Miss Darlington? Something +like this,— + + "'What does the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love +mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God'? + +"And she said she had loved mercy, but not justice, and she had come to +see that men put that first in the same way that God did. I think that +was about the last thing she said to me—almost!" + +His face softened as he spoke. A certain memory had touched him, but +that memory was sacred to himself and the one who had gone. Sara sat +absolutely silent. And then Mrs. Laird rose, and taking Sara's arm said +she was going to bed. + + +Far into the night Sara lay thinking. This quiet peaceful life was +coming to an end. What did the future hold in store for each one of +them? She thought a good deal of Mrs. Laird, and wondered how she would +bear the transplanting to a large manufacturing centre, to the bustle +and noise of a town life, after so many years of silence and isolation. +And then she thought of Graham. Would he be able to hold the property +given to him in the way that the late owner of it would approve? Did +he mean to spend most of his income—like his cousin—in benefiting the +colliers on his estate? Would he be able to carry on the religious work +connected with it? + +Lastly she thought of herself. If Ina went back with them to Dalby, +surely she would naturally be his right hand in helping him with the +work on the estate, the work in which she had been engaged for so many +years? Surely it was natural that Miss Harrison should have built upon +the possibility of Graham and Ina coming together and taking a joint +part and interest in the property. In this case, would she be wanted? +Would not Mrs. Laird gradually learn to lean upon Ina? They were fond +of each other now. If she were away, they would draw still closer +together. + +"My work is perhaps done. I should be more a hindrance than a help to +Miss Harrison's hopes if I accompanied them to Dalby." + +This was her unspoken thought, and then she turned over on her pillow +with a prayer for guidance. She knew that prayer would be answered. But +she did not know that the answer was already on the way to her. + + +The next day Colonel Fleming came in with Graham to lunch. He had been +told the news, and his cheerful serenity had been somewhat disturbed. +When Sara went out into the garden to cover up her violet frame, he +followed her. + +"I say, I want a talk with you. Can't we get away somewhere together +where we shan't be disturbed?" + +Sara laughed. + +"You sound very mysterious! Come down the lane with me. I want a little +exercise." + +They went down the little winding lane towards the lake. + +"I am struck all of a heap!" said the Colonel. "Do you think this will +answer? I can't fancy Graham owner of a colliery! I suppose he will +play his part there all right; but what about all these philanthropic +and religious bits of work connected with it? I asked him plump if he +was going to work it as it had been worked, and he said he hadn't the +faith of his cousin and wouldn't pretend he had, but as it was a point +of honour that nothing would drop, he hoped that you and Ina would run +the part that he couldn't. What astounds me is Mrs. Laird's placid +assent to being rooted out of her seclusion and planted down close to a +smoky manufacturing town. How will she do it? And then, where do I come +in? Am I to be left here alone? I'm not in love with this bit of the +country, you know, and my farm is a plaything. It doesn't really pay +its way. I'm too easy-going." + +"You'll have to move up there too," said Sara. + +"Upon my word I think I shall! I'm not fond of being alone. And Miss +Ina and I can still have some rides. What a game little creature she +is! And now I hear she's had a fat legacy left her! She deserves it, +I'm sure, but we mustn't let her work herself to skin and bone again. +What do you think about it all? I thought you were wonderfully silent +at lunch. Do you like the idea of the move?" + +"I have not been asked to go yet," said Sara, slowly. "And I with you +have been pondering over all that this change will entail. I suppose it +is necessary to be shaken out of our ruts occasionally. But this has +been a very pleasant and comfortable rut to me, and I shall grieve to +part with my beloved lake, and these invigorating hills." + +"Yes, yes, it won't be a change for the better. I hate factory +smoke—always did—and collieries are depressing. I'm wondering how +Graham will stand it. Old Ferris is in an awful stew over his going! I +met him, after he had been told this morning. He says he's never had +such an agent before, and never will again. But it won't hurt him to +miss Graham. He has been awfully rough on him at times. What do you +mean by being asked to go with them. You don't think that Mrs. Laird +could do without you, do you?" + +"Yes," said Sara, quietly. "Ina is quite capable of taking my place." + +"No, indeed," and the Colonel got quite excited. "She isn't strong +enough mentally or physically to cope with Mrs. Laird in her moods. And +she'll be plunging into all her old work again on the top of it. She +wants a home of her own, that little thing does, and some one to take +care of her." + +Sara was amused at his concern, but dared not remark upon it. And then +after a little more talk they returned to the house. + +Before the Colonel left, he announced his intention of accompanying the +household to Dalby. + +"At least," he added, "if I don't actually come with you, I shall +follow on—can't stay here by myself. I'll look out some diggings up +there a few miles out from the town. Thank goodness there's an open +moor within reach, I know!" + +Graham looked at him affectionately, but he said nothing. He knew that +he and Colonel Fleming were like a David and Jonathan for sticking +to each other; he accompanied him to the gate and there showed him a +little bit of his heart. + +"You've been in dreary seclusion, old chap, all these years to make +life bearable to me. Now it's my turn, when you come up North, to make +it cheery and pleasant for you. And I warn you, I shall need an awful +lot of your time and brain to help me manage my bit of property in the +best way possible!" + + +It was about two hours later that Sara received a telegram. It was from +her brother. + + "Can you come to me? In great trouble. Letter following. + + "ARNOLD." + +Sara spent a miserable evening and a sleepless night. She could not +think what had happened. She did not often hear from her brother, and +she feared that something must have gone wrong with his wife, who was +expecting her first baby in two months' time. It seemed extraordinary +to her at this juncture that she should receive a summons to town. + +Mrs. Laird was as perturbed as she was. + +But Ina, seeing Sara's real distress, came forward bravely— + +"I promise to look after Mrs. Laird and take care of her till you come +back to us," she said; and Sara's face brightened. + + +In the morning the letter came, and Sara received it in her bedroom. +She sat for a time as if stunned by its contents. + +Her brother's wife had died in giving birth to a little boy who arrived +two months before his time. The father was distracted; he turned at +once to the sister who had lived with him and done everything for him +for so many years, and he implored her to come to him and take charge +of his motherless child. + +It seemed to Sara that God's guiding hand was in it all. She was not to +go to Dalby. She had had a strange presentiment that she should not go, +and now that presentiment proved true. Her heart ached for her brother, +but she had not known how strong were the ties that bound her to her +present life, until she was forced to leave it. + +She knelt down and said from her heart,— + + "Thy will be done." + +And then she rose from her knees, if not comforted, at least +strengthened to take the path that stretched out in front of her. + +She broke her news very gently to Mrs. Laird, who burst into tears and +clung hold of her pathetically. + +"Am I to lose you altogether? Don't tell me so! But I must not stand +in your way. Of course an infant, especially a boy with all his +possibilities, is more important than an old woman fast nearing the end +of her journey. But oh, my dear Sara, you have been like a daughter +to me! And I feel that I cannot face a fresh life amongst strangers +without you by my side. What a dreadful blow it is! How shall we manage +the move without you? You see how selfish I am." + +"I can't bear to go," acknowledged Sara, "but does it not seem as if +things have been arranged so as to keep you from missing me too much? +Ina is such a dear helpful girl and so fond of you. And she is very, +very capable, your son has told us that. She will do everything for +you. Dear Mrs. Laird, you will not be alone; you are leaning hard upon +the One Who will never leave or forsake you. You don't know how you +will be helped and guided through all that lies in front of you. And +then you have your son who is always such a tower of strength. Why, in +the face of all these, I am quite a superfluity." + +Sara gave one of her happy laughs as she finished speaking, and Mrs. +Laird's careworn face lightened a little. + +Ina took the news with courage, but there was blank dismay in her eyes. +And when Graham heard of it, he was almost angry in his remonstrances. + +"Your brother can get somebody else to go to him. Why should he summon +you to him when we are all needing you at this time? Are you always to +be at his beck and call? He turned you out of your home, now he wants +you back again. But you are not bound to go!" + +"Oh, Mr. Laird, you must remember he is my only brother. Think of the +helpless baby." + +"What does a widower do who has no sister?" + +He walked away from her as he spoke; he could not trust himself to +speak. + +Sara found it would not be an easy matter to leave this new home of +hers and all who had learnt to value her. She wrote to her brother +saying she would come in a short time. She knew as long as the monthly +nurse stayed in the house there would be no immediate hurry. And then +she set to work to make all her necessary arrangements for the comfort +of Mrs. Laird when she should be gone. + +After the first outcry, every one was very quiet. Mrs. Laird seemed to +be buoyed up by some secret hope. Ina was anxiously learning to take +Sara's place, and do all her little tasks of labour and love for the +old lady's welfare. And Graham was absorbed in winding up his estate +accounts, and in initiating a fresh agent into Sir Malcolm's affairs. + + +A fortnight passed, and then Sara came to her last day. In the +afternoon she went over the hills to say good-bye to Agnes Cleave. + +The poor woman had tears in her eyes when she parted with her. + +"You've brought me new life, miss, since you befriended me. Now I go +to church, and have no shrinking from any of those I used to know. And +I'd like you to know what a treasure my Bible is to me! And even father +listens and enjoys a chapter out of it the last thing every night. You +were quite right. You said the Bible would show me what the end of my +journey could be. And I'm looking forward in glad hope to it now." + +"I'm so glad," said Sara. "And now you will try and instil that same +hope into your father's heart. Or rather ask that God Himself will do +it." + +Agnes nodded. + +"It's an awful blow—your going away! Won't you ever be in these parts +again?" + +"Perhaps we may," said Sara; "who can tell? Will you write to me +sometimes, Agnes, and let me write to you?" + +"I'm no scholar, but I'll be proud to do my best. May God bless you, +miss, for the sunshine you have brought to my soul!" + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +A SUMMONS TO TOWN + +SARA sped down the hill again, with an ache in her heart for all that +she was leaving. And then a longing came over her to pay a last visit +to the lake. She made her way down to it, and gazed dreamily and rather +sadly across its waters. It was a cold grey afternoon, but she always +loved to see its unruffled surface in the stillness of winter-time. The +black branches of birch and elm stood out against the cold silver sky +like delicate lacework; the rich tints of amber and ruddy brown of the +rushes and dead bracken, the brilliant green moss of its banks, and the +soft purple blue of the firs and pines in the background all made a +delightful picture of colour to her eyes. Suddenly she was conscious of +some other person near her, and turning quickly round, she saw Graham +coming towards her. + +"I have followed you here," he said; "all day I have been trying to +speak to you, but you have eluded me. Am I disturbing you now?" + +"No," said Sara, quickly, "I am only saying good-bye to my dear lake. +I don't know why I love it so. I think it's because of its still +aloofness, its unchangeable beauty, and its attitude of patient +waiting." + +He did not speak for a moment, then he said— + +"That was the first spark of warmth that crept into my heart, when +you looked at it as if you loved it. Do you remember our first drive +together?" + +He did not wait for an answer. + +"I expect you will think me a laggard for putting off till to-day what +I have been burning to say to you for months and months. I have grown +so used to sternly repressing my feelings that it is difficult to +make the plunge. You know what a fresh sphere awaits us in the north. +I can go to it gladly and joyfully, and take up all the burdens and +difficulties that I know await me, if you can give me the hope of your +coming to me later. + +"And if you don't feel for me as I feel for you, Sara—I hardly can +hope that you do, for there is little in me to attract a woman of your +sort—will you bear this in mind, that there is work to be done there +which I cannot do, but which you can? I cannot think of anything more +sublime than for you and me to work together, you doing the spiritual +part, teaching and helping and befriending the poor and ignorant, and I +the sterner harder business part of the whole concern. + +"I can't pretend to be what I am not. I am not a religious man. Nor +do I think I ever shall be, but I honour and reverence those who are, +and no woman to my mind fulfils her part in life unless she is. I +shall fail in carrying out my cousin's wishes if I tackle her work +single-handed, but I shall not fail with you by my side. Will you give +me yourself? Will you let me have the right to stand by you and keep +you and guard you through life as the most precious treasure a man can +have given him?" + +It was a strange declaration of love. Perhaps if Graham had put his +passion and love foremost, and his work last, Sara would have been +sorely tempted to yield. As it was, she turned to him very sorrowfully. + +"Oh, Mr. Laird, what can I say? I do thank you for the honour you have +done me. But I fear it cannot be." + +"Why not?" + +He moved closer to her, and his words snapped like steel. + +"I could not live the life you describe to me, I working in a perfectly +different sphere to you, and both of us without any unity or sympathy +with each other in the vital questions of life." + +"We have been living in the same house with each other for a full +year," he said; "and speaking for myself, I have never been so happy +before in my life. Why should we not continue to do the same?" + +"But would it be the same?" + +"No," he said, with a break in his voice; "of course it would not. But +believe me, I could and would make you happy. You would have perfect +liberty to do what you chose or thought best. Oh, Sara—I may call you +so, may I not? Don't answer me in a hurry. If you doubt my sympathy, I +swear here that you would have it in full. And think of my mother's joy +and happiness! It would give her a new lease of life. May I tell you it +has been her crowning desire to have you as her daughter? It will break +her heart, I believe, if you refuse." + +There was silence, then Sara said softly— + +"Your greatest inducements are work and a mother-in-law; a woman wants +more than that. But it is as well that you should put it so, for I feel +it is easier to refuse." + +"You shall not refuse me on that account!" Passion and fire shot from +his eyes. "I have kept my own feelings in the background because until +I had your leave, I was not going to unlock my heart. You know without +my telling you that you are enshrined there. A man who comes to my age +without falling in love with a woman is bitten very deeply when his +time comes. I told my mother long ago you were the one woman in the +world to me. But what had I to offer you! Now I can at least offer +you a comfortable home and a life free from money anxieties. And I +want you, Sara, I want you! I would move heaven and earth to win your +love! Is it quite impossible? Is your heart absolutely indifferent to +me? Do you know that to have you in the same room with me is heaven? +Life itself is darkness without you. Are you going to make religion +the paltry reason for refusing me? Your principles are utterly at +fault, if because I can't feign to believe in all that a woman finds so +easy, you must separate yourself from me. Don't you realize what your +influence has been in our house? If you take it away from me—I will be +personal—shall I be nearer your God and heaven?" + +"What do you believe?" Sara asked desperately. She was walking slowly +along the lake and he paced by her side. + +"I believe in the Creator of the Universe, but I cannot associate Him +with my daily life. I can't believe He manages and guides me in all I +do. I live an upright life—at least I have a try at it—and as far as +the other world goes, nobody knows anything about it. Let theologians +surmise and disagree as they always do, it has nothing to do with +me. You are not going to tell me that this matter of religion is the +obstacle to our union?" + +"I am afraid it is," said Sara, slowly. "If I married a man—and I could +not do that unless I loved him with all my soul—life in this world only +would not content me. I should want to be with him always, and if he +did not attempt to desire to know God in this world, he most certainly +would not care to live in His Presence in the next. And I should never +be able to talk with him of the things I loved best. I should always +have to keep back the thoughts of my heart, and we would drift further +and further apart. You have planned out two separate lives for each of +us, lived in the same house, but as far apart as the north and south +poles. I would be in one life, you in another. You would be bored to +death by hearing any details of mine, I should feel that I had my +province, and must keep in it; and you would keep in yours. No, Mr. +Laird, I have the greatest respect and confidence in you—but we cannot +join our lives together. I grieve to refuse, for you are offering me +much, but I dare not do otherwise. It would mean misery and disaster to +both of us." + +"Then I say, as I said the other day, you good people are Pharisees of +the deepest dye." + +Tears came to Sara's eyes. + +"It sounds so, but if you only saw into my heart, you would think +differently. What can I say? Marriage is bound to be a failure if the +two bound together have not the same aims and objects in life, if they +do not revolve round the same centre." + +"Oh, leave all these theories alone, let your heart speak, not your +head. Love is the foundation for a happy marriage. Do you love me? Look +me in the face, and tell me the truth." + +He had got in front of her, and seizing hold of both of her hands drew +her with a gentle force towards himself. + +Sara stood perfectly still with downcast eyes, but he felt her hands +tremble in his. + +"Look me in the face," he said; but Sara would not. + +Then she gave a weary little sigh. + +"Love is very strong," she said, "but if it is only love for this +life, it is not worth much. What good would love do if you and I +were drowning? Supposing I got safely to a rock, and you were still +struggling in the water, if you refused the rock, would our love be +worth much?" + +He dropped her hands. + +"You are as cold and hard as ice!" he said bitterly. "I will say no +more." + +In silence they retraced their steps to the house. Then just as he +opened the gate for her, Sara put her hand on his arm. It was dusk, but +he saw that tears were in her eyes. + +"Forgive me for having hurt you," she said; "you can have the assurance +that I am if anything more unhappy than you are at present. I would +give a good deal to be able to give you the answer you would like." + +"You are wrapped up in unassailable self-righteousness," was the quick +reply, "too celestial to mate with men on the earth!" + +He had hurt her now, and he knew it, but he was in a seething state of +wild rebellion and bitter disappointment. He went straight off to his +study and stayed there, and Sara shut herself into her room and had a +very miserable hour. + +"I have allowed myself to love him," she moaned; "and now I am dealing +him a real blow. How I long to go straight down to the study and +into his arms! If only he had the one thing! He is so unselfish, so +honourable, so chivalrous and kind to women in need! I could trust him +so utterly and entirely! And yet I know it would spoil his life and +mine if we married each other. He would shunt all the religious work +off on me and never give it a thought. If he has to tackle it alone, +isn't it possible that it may lead him to think more seriously! Oh, I +hope it may, for I feel as if I have now destroyed something in his +soul, and I must, I do, seem a self-righteous prig! How difficult it +is! If he only knew that I am deliberately shutting the gate of golden +romance and love in front of me. I have only now a lonely old age to +look forward to, and I love him. I can't do anything but love him with +all my heart and with all my soul." + +Tears would have been a relief to her, but she fought them bravely, +this was no time for tears. Mrs. Laird was expecting her even now in +the drawing-room to pour out afternoon tea. She must go down, and wear +a bright face as usual. + +She was rather relieved when she did go to find that Ina was out. Mrs. +Laird and she were quite alone. Graham sent in word that he was busy +and did not want any tea. Sara was glad of the message. Not so his +mother. Instinctively she knew something was wrong. She looked across +at Sara in perplexity. + +"Did you not come in together, Sara? Is he upset at your going away? +Has anything passed between you?" + +"A good deal," said Sara, gently; "and we are both unhappy in +consequence. Your son has made me an offer of marriage, dear Mrs. +Laird, and I have refused him." + +Mrs. Laird uttered a little piteous cry. + +"Oh, Sara, it has been the hope of my heart lately. Don't say that you +mean it! I longed for him to speak to you before. He has loved you ever +since the first day that you entered the house; he told me so. But he +has been diffident of himself, and with his rare unselfishness was +afraid of your refusal, and then feared for my sake that his proposal +would drive you away from us. He has been so happy lately. He hoped the +congenial work waiting for you might induce you to look upon him more +favourably. He has such humble ideas of his own power to attract, and +he is so proud and reticent that a refusal from you will be very bitter +to him. Don't you love him, dear? I have seen a look in your eyes +sometimes when he is speaking that makes me think you must." + +Sara knelt down by Mrs. Laird's chair, and tried to speak calmly. + +"Oh, dear Mrs. Laird, I know how I am disappointing you, but much as I +like and admire your son as a friend, I could not make him my husband. +We should not be suited to each other. We should not make each other +happy." + +"Why not? He worships the ground you tread on, he has never given me a +day's anxiety in his life; a good son makes a good husband. Is he not +good enough for you?" + +Tears rose in Sara's eyes, and could not be repressed. + +"I fear you will not understand," she whispered; "I could not marry any +one who did not put God first in his life. I am not a woman who can +marry easily. I am no mere girl, and I have my ideals. No happiness +comes to those who are not absolutely one in the matter of eternal +things." + +Mrs. Laird was speechless. But she stooped and kissed Sara. + +"That will come," she said with conviction; "a mother's prayers will be +answered. Is that your only reason for refusing him?" + +Sara nodded. She could not speak. + +"Never mind, my dear. I have learnt to wait, and I can wait still. You +will pray for him with me." + +Ina came in at this moment, and their talk was interrupted. + +Sara was busy for the rest of the day packing and leaving instructions +for Ina and the servants. + + +The next morning the post was late, and letters were opened at the +breakfast table. Graham made an exclamation as he read one of his. His +mother's quick eyes had seen that it was from Eva. + +"I must go up to town at once," he said. "I was going to drive you to +the station, Miss Darlington. I think now that I shall accompany you to +town if you will allow me." + +Sara murmured that she would be very pleased, though she hardly felt so. + +"Is it business?" asked Mrs. Laird. "You have heard from Eva, have you +not?" + +"Yes, it is her business. She is staying in town and wants to see me. +It is rather important." + +So very shortly afterwards Graham was driving Sara to the station, and +though both were silent, both were thinking of the first drive when +they met each other for the first time. It was a cold foggy day. He was +very particular about her comfort, and when they were settled in the +train, wrapped his own plaid round her knees to keep her warm. Then, +when they were really off, he spoke. + +"A night's rest has made me ashamed of myself," he said; "I want to +apologize for my lack in courtesy yesterday—I promise you I am not +going to refer to the matter again. You have a perfect right to act in +life as you think best. And I bow to your decision. For my mother's +sake there need not be a break in our friendship, need there?" + +Sara looked up at him and smiled. + +"No," she said; "and I shall go away the happier for feeling that there +is no bitterness between us." + +Peace was made. Though they did not talk much, all awkwardness +disappeared between them, and when they arrived at Euston Station, it +was with mutual good will that they parted. + + +And then Sara found herself in her brother's house again, being +welcomed with tears from Lacy, and with real gratitude and affection +from Arnold. He took her straight upstairs to the nursery, and himself +took his baby son out of his cot and put him in her arms. + +"He has suffered, poor mite, from being motherless, and the first days +were torment to me, hearing his incessant wail for her. But now he is +all right, nurse tells me." + +Sara bent down and kissed the tiny puckered face. + +"I will do my best to be a mother to him," she said softly. + +The baby opened his eyes and looked up, then a faint smile came to his +lips. + +"There!" said the old monthly nurse triumphantly. "He has taken you +into his little heart, ma'am." + +And Sara felt that from that moment she had taken him into hers. + + + + BOOK II + +CHAPTER I + +A MOVE TO THE COUNTRY + +"WELL, my dear Sara, and how are you? And the infant? I've come in for +a regular good long gossip. I only got back to town last night, and two +months' absence is an unheard-of thing for me!" + +It was little Miss Grafton who spoke. Sara had been living in her +brother's house for six months, and it was now June. She was sitting +in the upstairs drawing-room by the open window. The balcony outside +was gay with flowers. Inside, the room was fragrant with pots of lilies +of the valley and mignonette. Sara herself always gave her friends the +idea of fresh fragrance. She was in a pale blue linen gown, and she was +sewing some dainty white for the chubby baby, who was sprawling on a +soft rug at her feet. + +"I am always delighted to see you, as you know," she said. "Come and +have my chair. It is very comfortable." + +"So is this one, thank you. I don't want to disturb the pretty picture +before me. Bless me! How the boy has grown!" + +The baby, seeing a stranger, began to whimper. Sara put down her work, +and took him upon her lap. With coaxing words and smiles she comforted +him. And pillowing his head on her arm, he put his thumb in his mouth, +and placidly regarded the old lady in front of him. + +"Isn't he a darling? Nurse had to go out and I am minding him. Well! +We are going along very smoothly. I don't see much of Arnold. He is +out a good deal, and is working very hard at present. He is not the +same man since his wife's death, Miss Grafton. He seems restless and +preoccupied. Yesterday evening he told me he had a chance of going +abroad, and he thought he would take it." + +"And does he want you to go with him?" + +"Oh, dear no! I suppose I shall stay on here." + +"Not through the very hot weather, will you?" + +"It would be nice to take baby to the sea," said Sara, reflectively. "I +must talk to Arnold about it." + +"And how are your friends in the North? Do you hear from them still?" + +"Mrs. Laird is a very regular correspondent. I heard from her this +month. They have quite settled down in their new home. They went +straight into the old cousin's house. I think I told you about her, did +I not? I heard one pleasant bit of news. Ina, the nice girl who is with +Mrs. Laird and who took my place, is just engaged to be married." + +"Oh, ho! To that immaculate son, I suppose. What is his name? Gerald, +isn't it?" + +"Graham. No, not to him, but to his great friend, a Colonel Fleming. +I am so very glad! He is such a cheery delightful little man, and so +good!" + +"And they are going to be married soon? She'll be leaving the old lady. +What a pity she did not marry the other man, and then they could have +still remained the same happy family! Do you know, at one time I was +almost afraid you would have engaged yourself to him. I am sure he must +have adored you." + +Sara looked down at the baby in her arms. His eyes were heavy with +sleep. She altered his position a little, and then was able to meet her +old friend's bright eyes with equanimity. + +"He and I would not have suited each other, Miss Grafton." + +"Ah, Sara, my dear, you must marry! The way you hold that child makes +me know you were meant for a mother. Don't be too fastidious. Don't +drift into a single life as I did, because I was always waiting for an +impossible bird in the bush." + +Sara laughed her low happy laugh, but there was a wistful look in her +eyes, which did not escape Miss Grafton. + +"What a pity they have left that lovely country place by the lake and +mountains!" continued the old lady. "For you and baby could have paid +them a visit. I am sure they would have loved to have you. But as it +is, a colliery town is not the most attractive place in summer." + +"No, I don't think that place would be at all feasible," replied Sara. + +A little silence fell upon them, broken by the entrance of Lacy +ushering in a visitor. + +And the visitor was Colonel Fleming. + +"I took the chance of finding you at home. This is good." + +He came forward in his usual hearty, impetuous fashion, and Sara +welcomed him gladly. + +She introduced him to Miss Grafton. + +"I've never looked her up before," he said to the old lady in a +confidential manner, "but I was up on particular business, and I wanted +her advice. I always admire her taste, and it's a serious matter. +Oh, don't go! I'm an old fogy and ought not to be bashful! It's the +important question of an engagement ring. I've got a lot of them, in my +pocket somewhere—hope I haven't lost them!" + +He was pulling things furiously out of his pockets, talking hard as he +did so. + +"Funny to see you handling a baby! But, whether it's a baby, or sick +bird, or a pot of bulbs, you always do seem made for it! Ever see such +a young person for establishing herself as a protector and caretaker +for every human being she comes across?" + +He had turned to Miss Grafton now, who, much against her inclination, +was rising to go. + +"I'm sure you two will like a good talk together. No, I won't stay. I +only live opposite, and can run in any time. Good-bye, my dear Sara. +And I hope you will be able to give the needed help and advice." + +She was out of the room as briskly as if she had never been an invalid. +In the summer, Miss Grafton always revived in a most marvellous fashion. + +Colonel Fleming found his packet, but there was another interruption in +the entrance of the nurse who took her charge away, and Sara was now +able to give her whole attention to the excited little Colonel. + +"I must give you my warm congratulations," she said. "I have only just +heard the news. I don't know which of you is most to be congratulated." + +"That's very nice of you, but I'm a lucky man. She's so different to +the usual modern girls, now isn't she? Such a thorough home-loving +little soul, as unselfish as they're made! And such cheery company for +an old duffer like myself. Do you think I'm too old for her? She says +she doesn't like young men. And I'll give her a happy time, God helping +me, such as she has never had before!" + +"It's delightful," said Sara. "I hoped you two would come together. She +is a darling, and is so true and constant to those she loves." + +"She's tons too good for me," said Colonel Fleming. + +And then he produced his case of rings, fingering them doubtfully. + +"I came off at once. I was determined to get her a nice one, and then +I thought of you—if old Lambert hadn't known me all his life, he might +have thought I was going to rob him! I caught up this case—told him I +would be back in an hour's time—hailed a taxi in passing, and here I +am! Now, what do you think I ought to give her? Pearls are more her +sort, aren't they? I always think diamonds are vulgarized by the kind +who wear them. But I like this old emerald and diamonds. What do you +think? Will you choose for her?" + +Sara bent her mind to the task. They finally selected a beautiful pearl +ring with a diamond in the centre. That business over, he settled down +to talk. + +"We have missed you, 'pon my word we have. And Ina is quaking now as +to what her duty is. She feels you left Mrs. Laird to her as a trust, +and she at first—would you believe it?—wouldn't listen to me, said Mrs. +Laird had been so good and kind to her that she couldn't leave her. She +got quite distressed, so I let the matter drop, and then got hold of +Graham on the sly, and he told his mother, and she of course made it +all right. I can't get over the change in Mrs. Laird, I really can't! +She isn't the same woman. Why, she's visiting some of the old people +round her and taking the greatest interest in all her neighbours!" + +"I'm so glad! And how is Mr. Laird getting on in his new sphere?" + +The Colonel hesitated. + +"He's not himself at all. Can't make the chap out. Look here, you +and I are chums, you know! You won't take offence. I guessed what +had happened—and Graham let out to me the trouble—and though I see +your point, I'm awfully disappointed—he's such a good fellow—except +perhaps the one thing—but, do you know, I think he poses as being more +indifferent than he really is about religion. He takes his mother to +church now as a regular thing. + +"What I can't understand is the hold Mrs. Jeffery has over him. That +little woman never leaves him alone for a week at a time. She's always +writing to him, or sending for him—and she's moved up to Chester +now—within a few hours' reach of him by train, and the amount of +business she and he do together would appal you! I always told you +that she's after him! And I suppose you don't care. I don't often feel +afraid of women, but she does give me the squirms! If Graham is fool +enough to marry her, he will rue it. His mother and I are kindred +spirits on that point. I can see she is very uneasy." + +"Are you staying in town for long?" Sara asked, wishing to change the +subject. + +"I go to-morrow—am putting up at my club for the night." + +"I have not asked yet where you have settled?" + +"I've got an awfully snug little place—couldn't cotton to the town, +so scoured the suburbs and country round. And one day I found what I +wanted, only two miles out, but it lies in the corner of the moor in +a sheltered hollow—is called Beckdale Hollow. An artist fellow built +it—thatched roof—and a big studio which I have turned into a kind of +hall, and the garden is well-stocked and secluded, and the stables' +yard. I'm going to keep some live stock—a cow and fowls and piggeries, +etcetera, but I'm not going to farm—have had enough of that. I have +taken over a colliers' club and am running it—and on Sundays I go in +and meet them—not as a parson, but a friend—and then I give them a +little Sunday talk, and we have singing. You should hear those chaps +sing! And I do a lot of odd jobs for Graham—quite good for me to keep +me from getting rusty." + +"And soon," said Sara, smiling, "you will have a dear little wife to +take care of, and will no longer be lonely in your home. Oh, I am very, +very glad for you both!" + +"I knew you would be." + +His voice softened— + +"If you only knew the loneliness of the past years! I can hardly +believe in my good fortune! I shall have her love always in my future +now! My cup runs over, doesn't it?" + +"You deserve it." + +He shook his head. + +"Well—I must get back with these rings, or I shall have the police on +my track. Any messages? I've got the picture of you photographed on my +brain—here in this pretty room, in your blue gown, and the sleeping +baby in your arms—a good thing for you to have the interest of him, eh? +You're looking a trifle thin! Miss the keen air on those hills, eh? +London soon takes an outer rim off one!" + +"Give them my dear love," said Sara, the light coming to her eyes; +"and—and Colonel Fleming—I speak plainly like yourself—don't forget Mr. +Laird in your new happiness. He is a lonely man too remember, and a +more difficult nature to understand than—than yours. Don't let him feel +you're not interested in him. Don't drive him into Mrs. Jeffery's arms!" + +Colonel Fleming shot a keen glance at her. + +"I believe he's there already!" he blurted out. "But bless your kind +little soul! Graham and I are old pals. I'll stick to him as I always +have. Wife or no wife. Good-bye—awfully nice seeing you again. May I +look you up when I'm next in town? And I say—remember you're booked for +the wedding. Coming off in September, I believe. Don't you fail us!" + +He was out of the room before he had finished speaking. + +He had brought Sara a whiff of the old life; and the ache at her +heart made itself felt. How she longed to go back with him! But she +resolutely set herself to think of other things. Vain regrets would not +be profitable, she assured herself. She had acted as she felt right; +she must not torture herself now by questioning her decision. She could +only pray and hope that Graham would not rush recklessly into taking a +step that he would afterwards regret. + +And then, as she sat dreaming by the open window, her brother came in, +and claimed her attention. + +"Sara, Talbot Gray is going out to the Rockies for a year. He wants me +to go with him." + +"And are you going?" Sara asked, looking up with a smile. "You told me +last night you might have the chance of going abroad. I suppose this is +it?" + +"Yes. Will you mind? I can't settle to my work. I think a year's break +will do me good. Will you look after my boy?" + +"Assuredly I will. I think you are wise, Arnold. You will come back +fresh and ready for your work again. But now we must talk business. +What about this house? Could we not let it? I have got a little tired +of town life. Baby and I will be better and happier in the country." + +"Really? Surely you would have more friends in town?" + +"I think not, and running this house is an expense, and rather an +unnecessary one. Let me find a small cottage in the country, and take +nurse and another good servant. May I?" + +"If you would prefer it, of course. Sara, why don't you marry?" + +He spoke abruptly, and Sara looked up at him with astonishment in her +eyes. + +"Why should you ask me such a question?" + +"Because you're too good to be wasted," said her brother promptly. +"You're one of the women in the world who have the art of making men +really comfortable. My poor little wife never had it. Things were +always going wrong and worrying her to death. Nothing ever seems to go +wrong when you're in a house, or else you have the art of hiding it +away from us men!" + +Sara laughed merrily— + +"You poor men! You do value a life of comfort, don't you? It won't +hurt you to miss your home comforts, Arnold, for a while! But, joking +apart, I thank you for the compliment paid me. And I assure you that I +am perfectly happy in my single state, and wish nothing better than to +go on making people comfortable. Now then, let us talk about the money +part of this plan of yours. How much will your trip cost? How much can +you afford to leave me?" + +Brother and sister were soon deep in calculation. Sara never made a +fuss about any impending changes. She immediately adapted herself to +her new circumstances. But when she went to bed that night, she did +have a few lonely reflections. + +"I shall miss him dreadfully. To be shut up with a baby and two +servants, and have no sensible intellect with which I can exchange a +few sentiments will be a trial. But, after all, I have the darling boy +to train, and I am not a person without resources. Yes, I think I will +venture upon the country. It will suit us better, especially in the hot +weather coming!" + +Her brother rapidly made his arrangements to leave. + +At the last moment in parting, he looked at his sister with +affectionate scrutinizing eyes. + +"You have been an angel to leave your own life, and come back to me. +And I'm making you a shabby return by going off away from you. But I +felt that you were wasting yourself on some second-rate uninteresting +people, so that made me bold in asking you to leave them." + +"They are not second-rate," said Sara, quickly; "I count them as dear +friends now." + +"Do you want to go back to them?" + +"No, I can never do that." + +"You see, Sara, the fact is I can't settle down. The house reminds me +so of her! I have got to hate every room in it. It has been different +since you came, but I feel still that I must get away. And you are very +fond of my small Oliver, aren't you?" + +"Oliver is a darling!" said Sara, brightly. "He will keep me busy and +occupied, till you come back." + +So her brother went. + + +And Sara and her old friend Miss Grafton were much together whilst she +was arranging to let the house, and trying to find a suitable home for +herself and the baby. + +At last, she settled upon a certain farmhouse in Devon, a farmhouse +which possessed four good airy rooms for letting. She went down herself +to inspect them, and fell in love with the place. + +The house stood on a slope of a hill facing south, and was in a lonely +bit of wooded country. There was an apple orchard in front, and the +four rooms composed a complete wing of the house, two downstairs, one +of which was the kitchen, the other a very comfortable sitting-room, +and two large rooms above. The farmer's wife said she could let a +smaller room as well, if desired, and Sara took this. The baby's nurse +was a staid elderly woman, and the other maid she meant to take with +her was Lacy, who had implored not to be left behind. + +"I am quite a good hand at cooking, and I would gladly be a one-handed +general if only you'll keep me with you. I've endured a lot since you +went away, ma'am. But I've always said to myself, 'Miss Sara will come +back one day, and then she'll want to see me here.' And you've come +now, and you'll let me stay with you for the rest of your days I'm +hoping!" + +"Oh, Lacy, you dear old thing!" said Sara, smiling through sudden +tears. "Of course you shall come, and you and I will study cooking +together. I have told nurse she must be willing to take her meals in +the kitchen with you. She and baby will have a big room upstairs to +themselves, and you must be content with a small room if you come." + +"I'm content with anything," said Lacy, in a satisfied tone. + +And Sara was delighted at the thought of having her, for she knew what +a treasure she would prove. + + +It was the middle of July when they journeyed down to Devon, and Sara +never forgot that first summer evening when they arrived at the farm. +An old-fashioned roomy jingle met them at the station, driven by a very +self-possessed small boy, who informed Sara he was Master Shiplake, and +had left school for good the week before. + +"So I'm helpin' feyther to the farm, an' the hay is out, an' one thing +an' another will kep me busy till winter, an' then I means to have a +try at a writin' clerk's place in Lunnon. I thought as ye were strange +to Rattlecombe, I'd best meet ye instead of old Sam." + +He talked most of the way; the old white pony stepped very leisurely +up the hill. Sara with nurse and baby were inside the jingle. Lacy +preferred to walk. A station luggage-cart brought up the rear. + +They passed along a road arched over with leafy elms; they saw some +red cows sauntering on in front going home to be milked. And then they +turned in at a white gate, and the old yellow cob-walled farmhouse +with its thatched roof lay before them. It was a quite drowsy time of +day, an old sheep dog lay outside the porch door fast asleep. A row +of beehives was along the garden path next the old cob garden wall, a +border of bright hollyhocks, sunflowers, and Madonna lilies were behind +them. + +There were striped holland blinds outside the windows, and a little +breeze was flapping them to and fro. In the orchard beyond the garden +were some turkeys, and fowls strutting up and down; the humming of the +bees hovering over the hollyhocks, the clucking of the hens and turkeys +were the only sounds to disturb the stillness that reigned. Then the +sheep dog suddenly raised his head and barked, and in an instant there +was life and bustle around them. + +Mrs. Shiplake, a good-looking, matronly woman, came to the door. Then +she called a ruddy-checked servant, and the farmer himself came down to +the gate to welcome them. + +When Sara got into her sitting-room, she found an appetizing tea +already prepared, and there was a delicious smell of hot baked bread in +the house. She turned to Lacy with shining eyes. + +"Oh, Lacy, isn't this better than London? Look at this nosegay of +flowers on the table. Did you ever smell anything sweeter than these +old-fashioned cabbage roses?" + +And Lacy smiled, as well pleased as her mistress. + +"I've just slipped into the kitchen, ma'am, and had a squint at the +stove. Quite a nice little oven, and plenty of crockery and cupboards. +I think we shall settle in beautiful!" + +And later on, when Sara wandered out by herself in the dusky orchard +and heard the owls begin to hoot, and the frogs croak in the stream +beyond, she lifted up her face to the starlit heavens, and thanked God +for having brought her to such a peaceful home. + + + +CHAPTER II + +UNWELCOME NEWS + +THE first day at the farm was one of keen enjoyment to Sara. She was +very busy adjusting and arranging things, so as to make every one +comfortable in the simple life to which they had come. Mrs. Shiplake +was a keen brisk worker, and had enough to do in her part of the farm +to keep her busy there all the day. Lacy settled down into her kitchen +with great content. Nurse was the only one who had to be kept in a good +temper, for she was a Londoner, and missed her town comforts. + +Little Oliver was out all day long in his pram or rolling on his +crawling rug. He was a fair bonny boy, sweet-tempered and full of +spirits. Sara grew fonder of him day by day; and he now welcomed her +with a smile and crow of recognition, holding out his dimpled arms to +be taken up whenever he saw her. + +One day of peace Sara had. And then upon the second morning after their +arrival, she got a letter from Mrs. Laird. + + "MY DEAREST SARA, + + "The blow has fallen, and my fears have been justified. Graham came +to me this morning, and told me that he had married Eva quietly in a +church in Chester, where she has been staying for the last two months. +I asked him why he had concealed his engagement. Eva, of course, had +begged him to do so, fearing that I might be upset. I won't write the +bitterness that is in my heart. You will feel for me, but I am going to +pray hard for the grace that I shall need when I have to receive her +as my daughter-in-law. Oh, Sara! I won't reproach you, but it is the +losing you that has made him reckless. And Eva has tightened her hold +of him, and has never let him go, till she has gained her object. And +my son is not happy. There is a harassed look on his face. + + "One thing I am determined upon, and that is to find myself a little +house, where I can live alone. I have told him to-day, and he is vexed +with me, but I mean to be quite firm. He does not like this house and +Eva wants to live in the best part of the town, so perhaps till Ina +marries, she and I will stay on where we are." + +There was a break in the letter here. Then an addition came— + + "She has come over this afternoon. Very sweet and gentle, but that she +always is. She does not look at all well; she is very thin, and looks +ten years older than when I saw her before. I was as kind as I could +be, and I am thankful to say she did not stay long. Her little girl is +still at a boarding-school. She begged me to forgive the secrecy of +their engagement and wedding. 'I wanted to be married very quietly,' +she said; 'I have been worried and depressed lately, but I mean to +take a new lease of life now. Graham and I have planned out lots of +delightful things together.' 'Your husband is a very busy man,' I said; +'this new estate and all the business connected with it entails a lot +of arduous work.' And then she laughed. + + "'I shall make him play!' she said. And I could not help smiling, +though I was nearer tears. Graham is not a man who knows how to take +life lightly, and recreation is always difficult to him. Well, my dear +Sara, this is my news. My heart seems stunned with it, but I have +courage now to face troubles which I could never have faced before. + + "Write and tell me all you are doing. I am very angry with your brother +for going off and leaving you all alone. How I wish I could see you +with your little nephew in your arms! Will you not be photographed and +send me a print? I should love to have one of you. + + "Yours always lovingly, + + "RACHAEL LAIRD." + +Sara sat reading this letter at her breakfast. It was placed for her +on a round table by the window, where she could look out upon the rich +meadowland below her, and feel the sweet scented air fan her cheeks as +it came through the open window. She had been rejoicing in this sunny +summer's morning a moment or two before. Now as she gazed out with +shadowed eyes, there seemed no golden buttercup meadows, no sun sending +flickers of colour across the valley down below, no scent of roses and +pinks in the borders outside her window. It was a grey hard world she +was seeing before her, a dusty monotonous never-ending climb uphill. + +Her hand clenched upon the letter, and her lips took a straight firm +line. She had had to go through troublous times before in her life, but +never yet had any trouble touched her heart as this one was doing now. +Her unspoken thought was— + +"Why am I punished for acting rightly? Why have I brought punishment +and misery upon those I care for, and love? If I had been less +single-hearted, less high-principled, if I had followed my heart's +desire, and taken the sunny easy path, this would not have happened!" + +Then the hard bitterness passed away from her eyes, and they grew misty +with tears. + +"It does not matter about me, but dear Mrs. Laird! I hoped she was +going to enjoy a little sunshine in her old age. It is enough to shake +her faith! Oh, how could he! How could he! He has a home and a mother +who loves him. He has lived for years in a grey clouded atmosphere, and +now that the clouds have gone, he might have been content. I cannot +understand it. Surely he is too self-contained, too sane to act on a +hot angry impulse. I cannot believe it is I who drove him to it! Poor +dear Mrs. Laird! How can I comfort her?" + +"If you please, ma'am, can you have baby?" + +Sara turned. Nurse stood in the doorway with the laughing crowing child +in her arms. + +Sara caught hold of him. The touch of his soft baby fingers in her +hair, the warmth and sweetness of his little body in her arms, brought +a strange comfort to her aching heart. + +"Oh, my little Oliver," she murmured, "will you grow up and bring +trouble upon those you love, I wonder? Is it in you to bring sadness +and tears to one who is weak and helpless and old? But we'll come out +into the sunshine, baby, and put dull care away!" + +No one seeing Sara a few minutes later as she played with her little +nephew upon the sunny grass and pelted him with fallen rose petals, +whilst he kicked and laughed with glee, could have imagined that she +had just received a death knell to her secret hopes. For in her heart +of hearts, Sara had not doubted that sooner or later she and Graham +would come together. She had prayed for him earnestly, she felt that +like the young ruler in the Gospels he was "not far from the Kingdom of +God," but that, like him, he was not willing or ready to cast in his +life and lot with his Saviour, and meekly follow Him day by day. + +Now she knew that Eva's influence would not bring him nearer the life +she coveted for him. And her own life looked bleak and grey before her. + +When her hour with her little nephew was over, she went back to the +sitting-room, and replied to Mrs. Laird as follows:— + + "MY DEAREST MRS. LAIRD, + + "Your news perplexes and astonishes me, but do not let it fill you +with dismay. In life, to use a common platitude, what can't be cured, +must be endured. I love to think that you will not fail your son, and +already your courage has risen to the occasion. His welfare is your +first thought, I know. Do not blame me for this step which he has +taken. Mrs. Jeffery has had a strange hold upon him for a long time. I +think it is her weakness and helplessness that appeal to him. He has +always been ready to lend his strength to the weak, has he not? And I +cannot help feeling that his absolutely unselfish life will mould and +influence her character. She may regret the past. In any case, it is +buried and done with, is it not? Remember, if I had linked my life to +his as you wished, he would not have broken with Eva. Complications +might have ensued, and I might have become a jealous miserable wife. +God, I am sure, has it all in His Hands to work out as He sees fit. My +heart may sometimes misgive me for my decision, my conscience never +does. Now, please let this chapter in my life be buried with the +others. I cannot and will not speak of it again. + + "At present, I am sure you are happy with dear Ina, and when she +marries, do you think you could come and pay me a little visit? I think +I shall be still here if all goes well. It is not like your hill and +lake country, it is like living in one of those pretty pictures we see +depicting rural life. The church is just as picturesque as it should +be, I see its tower peeping through the elm trees which surround it, +and which of course contain a rookery. The rectory is close to it, a +cob-walled house with thatched roof very like our farm. There is a +mill, and a river, and buttercup meadows, and much pasture land about +us. In the distance from my window, I get a glimpse of a stately white +house amongst trees, the Hall, Mr. Shiplake tells me. The Squire is +very typical of his race, I should think. He hunts in the winter, and +is very keen on farming. Mrs. Shiplake tells me he is the cleverest +farmer in the county. He is a widower with a grown-up daughter. His son +is in the Navy. I don't expect I shall see anything of them. + + "I have discovered that there is an old friend of my father's living +near this. An Admiral Burke and his wife. They have a pretty place +about three miles away. But I am quite content to enjoy the country in +solitude. I have books and work, and my darling little Oliver for the +comfort and joy of my heart. You inspire me to be photographed. There +is a country town four miles away. We will borrow the jingle and drive +over one day and see what a country photographer can produce! + + "Oh, dear Mrs. Laird, I am chattering away, but I feel for you, how I +feel for you! And yet I know God has you in His keeping, and He Himself +will guide and cheer you every step of the way. + + "Your loving + + "SARA." + +After sending this cheerful letter, Sara abandoned herself to her +feelings, and she had a very miserable day in consequence. + +The next day was Sunday, and in the quiet peaceful little church she +received the peace of mind and consolation which she so much needed. + +The Rector was a middle-aged man with a careworn face, but when he +preached, his shining eyes and intensely earnest voice made his +congregation realize that his religion was a living vital force within +him. Sara was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice any of the +congregation. She came home with the Rector's text ringing through her +head. + + "'One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and +reaching forth unto those things which are before.'" + +And for the rest of that day a quiet happy light glowed in her grey +eyes, as she thought over some of the things which were "before her." + + +On Monday afternoon Sara was with the baby in the orchard, when Mrs. +Shiplake came hurriedly out to her. + +"The Rector's wife has called, please ma'am. I showed her into your +sitting-room. 'Tisn't often her comes our way. Her 's not one who +favours us workin' folk with her visits. But her went so far as to step +inside my kitchen and say how clean it looked! I was fair inclined to +tell how drab an' dusty I thought her hall when I was left standin' +there when I were after arrangin' for my niece's baby's christening! I—" + +Sara stopped the breathless flow of talk. + +"Will you call nurse, please, Mrs. Shiplake? She is ironing, I believe. +She had better come out here. It is a shame to take baby in." + +And then with a little sigh, Sara went into the house. She was pale +to-day, with dark circles round her eyes, but in her cool linen dress +and with her free easy step, and high lift of her head, Sara could not +but look a very graceful and attractive woman. + +Young Mrs. Peel put out her hand in a very friendly fashion. She looked +a mere girl in her short white skirt, showing a good deal of slim +ankle. She wore a white panama hat, and soft white silk shirt with pale +blue tie. She was a handsome girl, dark-haired and eyed, with warm +colour in her cheeks. + +"How do you do, Miss Darlington? I know all about you, but never +meant to call upon you till I saw you yesterday in church, and then I +suddenly wanted to come." + +"I don't think I saw you," said Sara, smiling upon her in her usual +caressing fashion; "and if I had, I should never have guessed you were +the Rector's wife." + +"No, I'm generally taken for his daughter, but there's only ten years +between us in age. 'An old maid and a baby,' I said to my husband in +disgust when I heard you were coming. Last summer Mrs. Shiplake had two +artists lodging there, and they were great fun! But you're not an old +maid, and you're not a rustic, and in church yesterday, I determined to +get my next hat trimmed like yours!" + +She laughed, and in sheer sympathy, Sara laughed too. + +"That's right. I don't shock you? Of course you'll know without saying +that it was before the service began I was thinking such vain thoughts! +But I'd better tell you at once that I'm not a model rector's wife. And +I told him when I married him that I would not be his curate. If I keep +his house, and give him good food, and see that his clothes are mended, +and cheer him up when he is downhearted, is not that enough? I don't +know why I am running on like this. Now do tell me why you came down to +this quiet spot." + +"For the same reason that other lodgers have come," said Sara, gaily, +"from love of the country, and pure air; and the longing to get out of +smoky foggy London." + +Mrs. Peel settled herself comfortably into the one easy-chair, and +crossed her legs in careless fashion. + +"Yes, that was what I felt once. I was born and brought up in a London +vicarage; and I used to think the country must be a dream of delight. +There were five of us girls. We lived in a high-terraced house, and +a backyard by way of a garden. My husband was my father's curate. He +worked himself to death nearly, and then when he was told he must get +away from town if he wished to live, he was presented with this living, +and he asked me to come with him. I saw a photo of the house and +garden, and that decided me." + +She paused, and looked swiftly across at Sara. + +"I don't know why I am talking of my own affairs like this. You won't +be interested." + +"But indeed I am. I was interested in you the first moment I saw you. +It is sweet of you to be so friendly. Please tell me more." + +Sara looked as interested as she felt. + +The young wife rattled on— + +"Well, I came; we had a delicious honeymoon, and then we took +possession, and for the first six months it seemed one long battle +against dilapidation, bad drains, dry rot, and unwholesome water! Last, +but not least, a batch of bills that would have frightened a Croesus. +Country servants, oil lamps, rats and mice, a mouldy fusty church which +always reeked of damp, and suspicious unfriendly villagers soon cured +me of romance. I've lived here for five years, and I hate and detest +it!" + +She looked frankly rebellious, and yet her youth and beauty and fresh +audacity had a rare charm to Sara. + +"My dear child," she said, "in another five years, you may learn to +love it." + +"Never, never! Why was I ever induced to marry a parson? He is too good +for me, Miss Darlington, miles too good! He thought he would make me +as good as himself, but he couldn't. The continual stream of services +worry me; I am a perpetual thorn in his flesh. He is getting like them +all, a mere mechanical church machine, going round and round on a +treadmill of penance and duty, an austere mystic, and I who am still +flesh and blood tied to him by unbreakable bonds, oh, what am I saying? +I love him still, of course I do. But I hate visiting the poor, I'm +not fit to teach in Sunday school, and there are times when I hate the +sound of the clanging church bell. + +"The only relief to me is to get up to the Hall. May and I are great +friends, but even she thinks I ought to be quite content with my life. +As if I could be! We see no one, we go nowhere. In summer we have a few +clerical garden parties, and if we are invited to the places round, the +county look upon us as quite a different class to themselves. + +"'Who is she?' 'Oh, a parson's wife.' + +"Interest dies away at once. And of course amongst my kind—other +parsons' wives, you know—I'm everything that is shocking. Dear me! I +can't conceive what you must think of me talking to you like this! But +I don't seem able to help myself!" + +She stopped speaking, and looked at Sara with a mixture of defiance and +wistfulness in her eyes. + +"I am so glad to hear it all, glad to think you will let me into a +corner of your life. Now I wish I could help you! But you have youth +and health, and love for your husband. Couldn't you try to find the +only thing that would make your life a joy to you instead of a burden?" + +"What do you mean? What could make stagnation different? Oh, don't let +us talk any more about myself! Tell me a little of your history. Do +you know that this morning a poisonous little reptile of a creature, +a village dressmaker who goes out to work at various parsons' houses, +suggested to me that there might be a mystery about you? Such a +handsome young lady, and single, and an infant baby! Can't you hear +her? I jumped down her throat, and was glad to be able to say that +Admiral Burke was a great friend of yours. Has he called yet? He told +us that you and your brother were a devoted pair before your brother +married. What a sad thing for him to lose his wife and only have this +infant in her stead! I wish—" + +She stopped and thought better of uttering her wish. + +"What are you going to do with yourself here?" + +"Read a great deal," said Sara, smiling at her visitor. "Write some +letters, and fill up my other time with sewing, and playing with baby. +What do you do with yourself? Have you any hobbies?" + +"Yes, one. I paint—but not landscapes—figures and miniatures. I believe +I could have been an artist, if I had not married. Then I should have +been some good. Here I am a failure." + +"You musn't say that to me," said Sara, briskly; "failures are such +miserably depressing things. Why, you have hope and buoyancy in your +face! I should think the villagers love a visit from you, don't they?" + +"I hardly ever go near them. I told you, I hate visiting the poor. We +haven't an idea in common. I did try to paint one of their children +once, and what do you think the mother said after a few sittings? +That she wasn't going to have her child tired out, just to bring more +money to the rich. She said if she wasn't to be paid for it well, she +shouldn't let her come. So I sent the child home at once. I suppose she +thought I was going to paint a picture and sell it. I wonder if you +would let me sketch you one day? You, and the wonderful baby! I saw +you with him in the orchard as I came up the garden. You made quite a +picture!" + +Sara promised to give her a sitting, and she promptly arranged that she +would come over the next day and make a start. Then she got up to go. + +Sara asked her to stay to tea, but she said she had promised her +husband to be back to tea with him. + +"You must come to us. Come to tea with us to-morrow, after I have +started my sketch. You see how unconventional I am; I ought to wait +till you return my call. But I'm lonely and dull, and the very minute +I saw your face, I wanted to know you. And now I'm going, and I've +talked, as usual, of nobody but myself, and I know nothing of your +interests, your life! You must talk to-morrow and I will listen. +Good-bye." + +Sara walked down to the garden gate with her visitor, rather breathless +at the sudden onslaught which had been made upon her time and interest. + +But she had noted the lonely wistful spirit behind the heedless +self-centred talk, and her heart warmed to the young wife. She was glad +that she had called. + +When Mrs. Shiplake came in with the tea, she said— + +"Well-a-day, ma'am, you've had Mrs. Peel a long time. Her don't dress +or talk or act like our Rector's wife should, do her? Her be but a +giddy thoughtless child, an' they say, her leadeth her husband a +terrible life!" + +"I thought she was a very bright pleasant little person," said Sara. +"She is very young certainly, but that is a fault that will mend +itself." + +She would not discuss Mrs. Peel further with Mrs. Shiplake. + +That good woman retired discomfited, but relieved her feelings by +taking Lacy into her confidence. And when that worthy heard a list of +young Mrs. Peel's indiscretions, she quietly said— + +"Then the more she comes here the better, for Miss Darlington will do +her good." + +And Mrs. Shiplake had not a word to say. + + + +CHAPTER III + +MAKING FRIENDS + +SARA was not left without visitors. Besides Mrs. Peel, Admiral Burke +and his wife came over in an old-fashioned pony-chaise to call upon +her, followed by Miss Agnew from the Hall. Sara was delighted to see +the old people. They were an ideal couple, as devoted now to each +other as they had been when lovers, and were determined to show her +hospitality. + +"You must come and spend a long day with us, my dear," said the old +lady; "we have pretty gardens, and I should like to show you an oil +painting presented to us on our marriage by your father. He painted +it himself. We have also a photograph of you and your brother as tiny +children." + +Sara promised she would come, and they had hardly taken their departure +before Miss Agnew was announced. + +Sara looked at the tall slim handsome girl with much interest. She +was dressed in a plain brown holland coat and skirt, and coarse straw +hat. Her face was alive with interest and expectation. She was not so +impulsive, or so confidential as Mrs. Peel had been, and Sara saw at +once that she was of a more thoughtful nature. She told Sara a great +deal about the village and places of local interest, and spoke as if +she loved it all. + +"I have grown up here and never want to leave it. My father and I go to +town once every year, so as to widen our outlook and prevent us from +running in a groove, but I am always glad to get back here again. Don't +you think it is a lovely bit of country?" + +"Indeed I do. It strikes me as such luxuriant rich pasture land! +Everything looks so flourishing and prosperous." + +"Oh, we have our bad times, I assure you, but father farms most of his +land himself. He puts a lot of money into it, and I think he gets its +worth. I'm so glad you appreciate our part. Have you met Nellie Peel? +She's enough to turn a pail of milk sour sometimes." + +"Aren't you two great friends?" + +The girl laughed. + +"In a way I suppose we are. But I hate her grumbling. Why on earth did +she marry a parson if she didn't like his life? She's always trying to +get out of her sphere into another. She's a parson's daughter, so she +ought to be content to be a parson's wife. She's always trying to run +down her own sort. She has a very good time, I consider. Her husband is +a saint; she has no children, nothing to tie her to the house. And our +village is a very pleasant one, and the people happy and well-to-do. +She ought to like visiting them and having meetings and clubs and that +sort of thing. As it is, I take the clothing and coal club off her +shoulders. Nellie is always trying to occupy herself with things that +have nothing to do with the parish." + +"I think you are hard upon her," said Sara, pleasantly. "Young people +are very intolerant sometimes of others' likes and dislikes. She is of +no different flesh and blood to yourself—" + +May Agnew drew her head up proudly at this and Sara saw she did not +like it, but she went on firmly— + +"Parochial work does not come easily to every one. She tells me she +paints. An artistic nature must find its vent in some way. She may not +have been born with that gift of sympathy and interest in her fellow +creatures which you perhaps possess, and what comes easy to you as the +Squire's daughter and, may I say, as Lady Bountiful of the parish, +comes hardly with her. I am a newcomer, and I don't know either of you +yet, but my first impressions are pleasant of you both. I feel sorry +for Mrs. Peel, she is so young, with such great expectations from life; +and those who expect much meet with many disappointments." + +"You think she is a square peg in a round hole? By her own showing +she is. When first she came here, I felt sorry for her, and had her +continually up at the Hall. She comes now, and whenever we have +company, I send for her. But she expects to spend her whole time with +us. And then when I happen not to ask her if anything is going on, she +gets huffy and sulky. Oh, what am I saying? You have bewitched me! What +must you think of me! Sitting up and slanging our Rector's wife in this +fashion!" + +"I will never abuse your confidence," said Sara, quietly. "It is good +of you to have talked so openly with me. Don't be too impatient; life +slowly impresses its lessons on each one. And Mrs. Peel will learn her +lessons like the rest of us." + +May Agnew smiled. + +"You think me a prig, I expect. It is so easy to see the motes in our +neighbours' eyes, is it not? Are you fond of reading? Father has rather +a good library, and he would be flattered if you came up and made use +of it!" + +"How very kind of you! I shall be delighted. A library is always so +attractive! I have so much idle time on my hands now, that reading will +be possible to me, and I do love it." + +When she had gone, Sara mused upon these two girls' lives, running side +by side, and yet with such different outlooks. And though in her heart +she knew that May Agnew was more high-principled and right-minded than +Nellie Peel, her sympathies were most with the latter. + +Nellie came to make the promised sketch. And they had an interesting +talk about art and its different schools and fashions. Sara went to +the Rectory to tea and found Mr. Peel a charming man to talk to. He +was very devoted to his young wife, but the latter chose to be in one +of her flippant moods that day; and more than once Sara saw the Rector +wince at things she said. + +She came away rather sad at heart. The home was picturesque in its +setting, there was no lack of comfort in it, yet the atmosphere seemed +charged with friction. + +The contrast when she went to lunch with Admiral and Mrs. Burke was +very marked. The old couple were delighted to see her, they talked of +the past with many fragrant memories. And Sara told them when she came +away that she had never spent such a happy day anywhere for years, as +she had now with them. + +"My dear," said Mrs. Burke, kissing her, "it is good of a young thing +like you to be interested in the old." + +"I don't feel at all young," said Sara. "I always feel I have much more +in common with those who are getting through their journey than with +those who have just begun it." + +"There are two young people close to you who will be glad of your +advice and help," said Mrs. Burke, gently. "We know them both; and +wonder often how things will go with them. May is a dear girl. She is +her father's right hand—such a useful life she leads—but it makes her a +little hard on the less energetic ones. And she can never forget that +she is the Squire's daughter. I think I may tell you in confidence +that she was engaged to a nephew of ours for six months. He is in the +Horse Artillery, and always spent his leave with us. It was broken off +because she wanted to manage him, and he would not have it. She has +managed everybody since she was twelve years old, when her mother died. +She insisted then, though she had a governess, upon dining with her +father every night; and she would take her seat at the foot of the long +dining-room table opposite him like any old woman." + +"Both Mrs. Peel and Miss Agnew are inclined to be very friendly," said +Sara. "I don't think there is any danger of my feeling dull." + +And there was not. Time slipped rapidly by, the baby Oliver growing +bigger and bonnier every day, and Sara, with her usual aptitude for +making friends and winning confidences, was continually in request by +either the Squire's daughter or the Rector's wife. + +Nellie Peel made a water-colour sketch of her. It was cleverly done, +and she caught the sunshine in Sara's face and eyes, as she sat against +a background of apple-trees, with her small nephew in her arms. + +It was a bright and vivid portrait. + +"The only pity," said Nellie, "is that you aren't the baby's mother. +For nobody would believe that you were not. You have such a motherly +face! I shall call this sketch, 'Sunshine.' Now, would you like to have +it? I should love to give it to you." + +"My dear, I could not take it." + +"Why not? I love painting for painting's sake." + +"If you are really going to make me a present of it, I should like to +send it to an old lady, a very great friend of mine. But I hope I am +not taking advantage of your generosity." + +"I never give away anything unless I want to," said Nellie, carelessly. +Then she looked down upon the sketch on her knee. + +"You're a very happy person, aren't you? I wish I could feel as happy +as you do, but I suppose you have always had your own way, and have +done what you liked." + +"Oh, Nellie dear, that doesn't make a person happy." + +"Yes, it does. It makes me happy, but something or somebody is always +crossing my will, and then I'm angry." + +"I don't think any of us can sail through life without any buffetings +or storms," said Sara. + +For a moment a shadow dimmed her eyes. There was not a day or an +hour that Graham Laird did not figure in her thoughts. She knew he +belonged to another woman now. She tried to think of him in a detached +impersonal way, but she had an intense longing to know if he was happy, +and this longing brought an ache into her heart which stayed there. + +"People say we can't cultivate happiness," Sara went on thoughtfully; +"for the more we think about it, the less we feel it. Happiness is a +very elusive thing, isn't it? But certain habits bring it to us." + +"What habits? I like to hear you talk. Go on. I am just putting the +finishing touches to my sketch." + +"I think the habit of recognizing the good things which we possess is +one. If we take an inventory of our possessions sometimes, we shall +find it is a pretty long one. And the habit of taking an interest +in other people and things outside ourselves is a great help. I was +feeling rather sad the other morning before I came down to breakfast. +But I had two distinct bits of cheer, and thinking of them warmed my +heart up." + +"Do tell me what they are." + +"Don't laugh at my first bit of cheer. It was a mother thrush out +of my window. She was taking a walk with three of her young ones. +Our tabby cat saw her, and came stalking through the long grass. The +mother saw the creature and gave her cry of alarm, and two of her +nestlings fluttered up to the high laurel bush where their nest had +been. The third little bird was either weak on his legs or else he had +entangled himself in the grass. He fluttered his wings but could not +rise. Then the mother flew over the tabby's head and tried to distract +her attention, and after several struggles the little thrush rose +successfully, and joined the others in their refuge. The mother flew +after him, Tabby crept away disappointed, and the little family of +thrushes rejoiced in their safety; I couldn't help rejoicing too." + +"How ridiculous you are! What was the other event?" + +"I knew you would laugh at me! I came down to breakfast, and Mrs. +Shiplake came in with a beaming face— + +"'Oh, ma'am, I've had a piece of luck this morning. I were worritin' +over a new gown for the Flower Show up tu the Hall. I'm that shabby, +I felt like staying at home, an' if I haven't heard from my sister +what married last spring, and she sends me one poun' forward for eggs +an' cream an' chicken she have ordered for a gran' entertainment tu +her part. Her husband be land steward to Sir Philip Baker! An' las' +market-day I saw a nice grey skirt and coat marked up at Taylor's for +nineteen shillings and elevenpence. An' it were my fit jus' as if it +were made for me, but times have been bad, and I didn't have the money. +Now 'tis ready and I'll go straight off to Taylor's this very afternoon +and send off some chickens and eggs at the same time!' + +"You should have seen her face. It was like a round shining sun! I +began my breakfast in quite good spirits." + +"You are an extraordinary person!" + +Nellie had laid her sketch down, and was regarding Sara with puzzled +eyes. + +"Those kind of things would never touch me at all. Do you remember +saying to me the first day I called upon you that I ought to find the +one thing that would make my life a joy instead of a burden? I have +often thought of it since. What did you mean?" + +"Something very real, and deep and lasting," said Sara, quietly. + +"You don't mean anything religious, do you? That sounds like it." + +"Do you dislike everything connected with religion?" + +"Yes, I don't want it in my life. I want to enjoy myself." + +Then Sara said very softly— + +"'Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their +corn and wine increased.'" + +"I never thought you would preach me a sermon!" + +Nellie got up quickly. She put her sketch into Sara's hands. + +"Don't thank me any more. If you're a good person, you're rather a nice +sort, but I don't want any goody talk. I get plenty of that from my +husband." + +She was off and away before Sara could say another word. + + +A few days afterwards, Sara heard from Mrs. Laird, in acknowledgment of +the sketch which she had sent. + + "MY DEAR, DEAR SARA, + + "I cried when I opened the parcel. It is you to the life! Just the +light in your eyes that I always loved to watch. And what a dainty, +delicate bit of work it is! The colouring is so sweet. Your soft blue +dress which matches the sky in the background, and the golden-haired, +happy child. Oh, Sara, Sara, why didn't you marry my son? Excuse my +outburst. But you are wasted where you are. Well, your portrait will +bring sunshine into my room. I shall place it where I can always see it. + + "Graham came in for a moment to-day. He quite started when he saw it. +I put it on the mantelpiece for the time being. He is worn and weary. +This colliery is giving him a great deal of anxiety and trouble, and +Eva is, as I thought, no help to him. She has developed great delicacy +since their marriage, is quite the nervous invalid. She told Ina that +she had a weak heart, but I think it must be fancy. She has never +looked strong, but she has always rushed about from place to place, and +has had far more energy and strength than most. They have settled into +their new house. + + "Eva has insisted upon having a motor, and is very luxurious. I have +been to see her once or twice. She never comes here. Her little girl +has gone to stay with a little schoolfellow for the summer holidays. +Graham says that Eva does not feel strong enough to have her at home. + + "I am looking forward to seeing you in September. You will not +disappoint us, will you? I don't think I must pay you a visit this +summer. When Ina goes, I shall have one or two of her classes to look +after, and I do not give up this house till Christmas. I am happy +when I am busy, so I keep myself always occupied; but my thoughts are +perpetually with you, and with my poor boy. Why did he marry her? I +keep asking myself. For, Sara, he does not love her, he is sorry for +her with his usual wonderful compassion for everybody who is weak and +helpless. And she apparently, even at this early stage of their wedded +life, has lost her love for him. She is entirely self-centred, and +thinks that by day and night he ought to be her willing devoted slave. +She looks ill, but will not speak of her health to me. She has become a +peevish discontented woman. I will not write about her any more. And I +am ready to go to her at any time, should she want me. + + "As I look at your happy smiling face, I feel a warmth in my heart. +We have much in common to make us happy, Sara. I hope this is not a +wail, for I am happy—happier than I have ever been for years. And heart +happiness gets deeper than mere surface enjoyment. Good-bye. May God +bless you! + + "Your loving old friend, + + "RACHAEL LAIRD." + +Sara read this letter over and over again. She hungered for news of her +friends, and longed to know every detail of their daily life. + + +As September drew near, she wondered if it would be wise to go up there +amongst them all again. And then the matter was taken out of her hands. +Little Oliver was taken ill. It was not very serious, but enough to +make and keep her anxious. It began with an internal chill, and then +fever. He soon pulled round, but had lost weight, and was a shadow of +his former self. + +When the time for the wedding drew near, he still wanted the greatest +care and attention, and Sara felt that she could not leave him. She +wrote very regretfully, for she knew that both Mrs. Laird and Ina would +be disappointed, and she herself, now that she was prevented from +going, began to think of all that she would miss. + +But the baby occupied all her time, for which she was thankful. She +heard all about the wedding from Mrs. Laird. Eva was not well enough +to be present, but Graham gave away the bride. And Colonel Fleming was +like a boy in his excitement and delight. + + +Ina wrote to her during her honeymoon. + + "I can hardly believe that I am on earth at all," she finished up with; +"Jack spoils me utterly and entirely. Mrs. Laird used to say I was much +older than he in my talk and behaviour: I feel like a child again now. +He is so gay and cheerful and so full of fun, and then suddenly he gets +quite grave and opens a sacred corner of his heart to me, and I know +then what a really good husband I have got. I have made a resolve that +I will always be his comfort and help, for he never thinks of himself +at all, only of doing good and helping others." + +Sara smiled and sighed. + +"An ideal couple," she murmured, "but then they revolve round the same +Centre. There is no gulf between their respective goals." + + + +CHAPTER IV + +GRAHAM AND HIS WIFE + +IT was a wet wild night the beginning of October. + +Graham, hurrying along the pavements of the town, began to look forward +to the firelight and warmth and comfort of his home. He came to it +at last, a handsome stone house in a quiet street, a small drive and +shrubbery stood between it and the passers-by. He mounted the broad +stone steps with some weariness. Mentally and physically he was tired. + +There was a threatened strike at the colliery; all day he had been +interviewing people. First the masters of several collieries round, +then the miners' representatives, then his agent with several others. +It had been an exhausting day: Graham would never let himself or any +one else rest till he had mastered every technicality, every point of +law connected with the dispute, and he now had it at his finger ends. + +But it had not been a cheering process, and the future loomed black +and frowning before him. He knew himself to be inexperienced; he felt +in honour bound to stand by and with those in the same position as +himself. And yet his keen sense of justice more than once made him put +his finger on a weak spot in some of the masters' arguments. He felt +fettered and bound in the course that was laid down for him to take. He +longed to break with them all, and act on his own responsibility, and +yet he knew at the present juncture of affairs, he dared not do it. + +He let himself into his house with his latchkey. A maid came forward to +meet him in the hall. + +"If you please, sir, the mistress would like to see you at once." + +"Is anything the matter?" he asked quickly, slipping out of his +overcoat as he spoke. + +"The mistress has fainted, sir; she's had two faints, but she is better +now." + +Graham caught his breath, then ran lightly up the stairs, and entered +his wife's room. He did not find her in bed, she was sitting up in a +cushioned chair by the fire. Her fair hair was hanging in two plaits +below her waist. She looked very small, very young as she sat there +gazing into the fire, but upon his approach, she turned her face +towards him, and it was wan and pinched and grey. + +"Oh, Graham, I thought you would never come! You are hours late! I've +had another of my attacks, and I was all alone! You might think of me a +little more! I believe you forget all about me when you go off to that +horrid office every day." + +"My dear, I am sorry, but I could not help myself. I have been delayed. +I suppose you have dined. It is close on nine o'clock." + +"I have been ill, I tell you; don't you care at all?" + +Eva's tone was more than petulant, it was really angry. + +"Indeed, I do care very much. Do you feel better now?" + +His tone was gentleness itself. + +She turned her face away from him, sullenly. + +"I didn't marry you to be left alone in this house day after day with +only servants to speak to." + +He did not answer. Then he said— + +"Was the pain very bad, dear? Don't you think you would be better in +bed?" + +"I don't mean to go to bed. I hate it. I know I shall die in it one +night. And you won't care. You'll be thankful to get rid of me." + +Tears crowded into her eyes, she began to sob hysterically. + +Graham went to a small table near, and poured out a dose from a +medicine bottle. + +"You haven't taken this, I see. Why did you not?" + +"Because you always give it to me after dinner, and you weren't here," +she snapped. + +She took it from him and drank it, then leant her head back amongst her +cushions, and looked up at her husband with frightened despairing eyes. +He stood leaning against the mantelpiece and regarding her with a good +deal of tenderness and pity. + +"Oh, Graham, I'm afraid of going to sleep! Have pity on me! Be kind to +me! I'm afraid of my own thoughts. Come close to me and hold my hands. +I feel safe with you. What shall I do? Every day that passes brings it +nearer. Comfort me! Is there no comfort for me? How can I go through +it?" + +He knelt down by her side, and drew her head to rest against his +shoulder. + +"My dear child, don't be frightened. You have been accustomed to these +faints. You are not worse to-day than you have been, and to-morrow you +will be quite yourself again. You have been alone, and so you've got +down in the dumps." + +"But I oughtn't to be alone!" Eva roused herself and pushed him away. +"It is cruel of you to leave me so! You promised me you would be with +me always, and help me to bear the pain!" + +"You are tired to-night," he said patiently; "and I own I am very +late in coming home, but I could not help it. There is trouble at the +colliery." + +"I hate the colliery and everything belonging to it. It takes up your +time more and more. I might as well have never married you—" + +Graham was silent for a few minutes. He was becoming accustomed to +his wife's continual reproaches, but he never lost his patience. Long +experience with his invalid mother had taught him self-control. His +heart ached for his wife. He knew he could do so little to relieve her +fears and sufferings. + +"I wish you would let my mother come and see you, or Ina. Ina would be +so pleased to know you, and be your friend if you would let her." + +"She is young," said Eva, peevishly; "and we don't care for each other. +Why should we pretend that we do? And you know your mother dislikes me. +She always has, and always will. The doctor said I ought to get out as +much as possible, but you have never time to take me: our motor lies +idle, we hardly ever use it." + +"Well," said Graham, cheerfully, "we will go out to-morrow afternoon. I +will come home to luncheon if it is fine. We will have a spin together, +before it gets dark." + +At this moment, the parlourmaid knocked at the door, and wanted to know +if Graham had dined. + +"No, indeed I have not," he said; "and I had no time for lunch, so I am +pretty hungry." + +He went off to his dressing-room, and soon returned to his wife. + +"Now I'm going downstairs for a short time. Won't you go to bed? I'll +send your maid to you. What is her name? I never can remember. Halkin, +is it?" + +"Yes. Please don't be long. I feel so nervous to-night. And I hardly +touched my dinner." + +"Then you must have a snack of something now. I will send you up +something, and you must promise me to eat it." + +He went downstairs to the empty dining-room and consumed his dinner in +haste. Then he went into his study. His blazing fire and easy-chair +looked inviting. He longed to sit down and smoke a pipe and have a +quiet time to think out various problems that were simmering in his +brain, but he resolutely turned away from the fire. He took up the +evening newspaper and went upstairs to spend the rest of the evening +with his wife. + +This was a sample of many evenings in Graham's life. As he looked back +upon his hasty engagement, and marriage, he wondered now if he had done +well for Eva. She had been in delicate health for some time, and then +some friend in town persuaded her to go to a heart specialist. This was +a man who believed in telling his patients the truth about themselves, +and he told Eva that her heart was diseased, and that he feared she had +not two years of life left to her. It was a tremendous shock. She sent +for Graham, and then in her extremity she poured out her soul before +him, telling him that she had loved him for years, and imploring him to +help and comfort her. + +"I am absolutely alone," she said. "I have two years of suffering in +front of me, and then death. Nobody wants me. Nobody cares for me. I +shall get some chloroform and end my life now! How can I live on day +after day, dragging myself nearer and nearer the grave, without a soul +to speak to? Oh, Graham, pity me! What can I do?" + +And then, tortured by her deep distress, and by her avowal of love for +him, he felt that he could offer her a home with him, for those two +short years. His heart had always been open to women in their need and +weakness, and he knew that he could in a measure soften the dark days +coming upon her. But Eva bound him to secrecy about the state of her +health, not even his mother was to be told. He had faithfully kept the +promise he made to her. + +As it often happens, when Eva had got the desire of her heart, it +seemed to turn to ashes. Graham was of too quiet and grave a nature to +cheer her in her times of depression. He was attention itself, but his +attentions were given with great gravity. He showed her sympathy, and +tenderness, and patience, every day of her life. But Eva longed to be +cheered by a gay laugh and a bright word; and this she felt she would +never get from Graham. She did not realize the strain of his business +life, and the ceaseless thought and toil it gave him. + +And Graham's heart had received a blow from which it could not recover. +He, like Eva, was tempted to ask himself sometimes what incentive he +had to live. It was a blank grey world to him without Sara. He had +had so little sunshine in his life that her presence in the house had +been an ideal experience for him. Now she was gone; and he had no hope +of ever seeing or speaking to her again. It was no wonder he found it +difficult to be cheerful. + +Eva herself had altered greatly. Her sweet pensive smiles and little +graceful speeches were things of the past. She was up against a black +horror which never left her night or day, and she rebelled frantically +against her fate. Now she felt that marriage had not brought her the +ease and comfort she expected; she had really thought that Graham would +act exactly as a trained nurse would, and she resented everything that +took him away from her. + + +They went for a motor ride the next afternoon. Eva was soothed and +refreshed by it at first, but upon their return, they encountered +a crowd of colliers who had just come up from the pits, and were +congregated around one man who was addressing them in fiery language. +The motor had to slow down, for there was hardly room to pass, and +Graham was instantly recognized. + +Some lads began to hoot and hiss. And one hot-tempered little man +sprang to the side of the car and shook his first in Eva's face, +shouting— + +"Ye willna ride us doon, you pampered lass of his'n. A fine lot he +cares for them which work to stow money into his pocket. He'd better'n +be in the office preparin' for the day when the pits shut down. They're +surely comin'!" + +The chauffeur quietly glided through the crowd, and Graham said +nothing, though silence was much against the grain. He knew that +agitation might be fatal to his wife, and, as it was, she was in a +panic of fright. + +"They're savages!" she panted, when they had passed. "Graham, why do +you put up with such insolence? I shall never dare to come out again. +Oh, do take me abroad! Leave this filthy, smoky town, and let us go to +the Riviera before the winter sets in. I feel I should have a fresh +lease of life there." + +This idea seized hold of her; she never gave him any peace day or +night till he had half promised to take her. And then before their +arrangements could be completed, she had another very bad heart attack, +and her doctor refused to let her move. + +"She would never get there alive," he said. "She is wearing herself out +by her fright and agitation about herself. It is a pity she has not a +more placid disposition; she would give herself a better chance then." + +But this nobody could give the sick woman; and Graham looking ahead +could see no ray of light on the path she would have to travel. + +One evening, after a specially trying day, when she had at last gone to +bed, and sunk into an exhausted sleep, Colonel Fleming came to see his +friend. Graham saw him in the smoking-room, and gripped his hand with +real pleasure. + +"We are becoming strangers!" Graham said. "I haven't set eyes on you +for ages. It's being married men, I suppose." + +"So it is! But you're much more married than I am. Ina, bless her +little soul! is as happy as a sandboy alone. She's sent me to look you +up to-night. I've been down town. It's my club night, you know. Lucky +thing your strike didn't come off. But it was touch and go, wasn't it? +I heard that it was you who saved the situation. You got the masters to +give way a bit, didn't you? Well, how's your wife? She's in a poor way, +I hear. I met your doctor just now. He was seeing a chap who got hurt +in the pits, and I was there inquiring for him. We walked a bit of the +way here together. He told me it was serious, and that she couldn't go +abroad. I was glad to hear it. Sick people are best at home, don't you +think so?" + +Graham did not answer. He pulled aside the window curtain and looked +out. Then he turned and faced his friend. + +"Jack, I feel I must have a whiff of pure wholesome air. Will you let +me walk home with you? I must have a turn on the moor. Will you take +anything first?" + +"Not a sip. Come on, we'll start at once. Ripping it will be. The stars +are out, and there's a touch of frost in the air, but there's no wind. +A pity you don't live up our way!" + +They went out of the house together, and talked on various subjects +till they reached the open moor. Graham drew in a breath of the keen +pungent air with relief and pleasure. + +"I never shall get accustomed to this town life. I have a hankering for +our hills at Felstone Corner." + +Then he said abruptly— + +"Look here, Jack, I know at bottom you're a religious chap. What can +be said to smooth my poor wife's path in front of her? Her days are +numbered and she knows it. And she's fighting with her fate, and is +terrified at the prospect of death. She won't see the vicar; she has an +idea it is only dying people who send for parsons, and she won't allow +to herself that she's anything like bad enough for a pastoral visit +just at present. What can you tell her?" + +The Colonel stopped short in growing excitement— + +"Why, man alive, the best of all news—that death is only a dark door +into light! One step will take her through. I should like to have a +talk with her. You must know that our Lord died to take away the sting +of death! Does she read her Bible?" + +"No. I don't think so. But I was thinking of reading to her a verse +or two in the evenings. Women always get comfort from it, don't they? +Honestly I don't know what part to read to her." + +"Read the Gospel of St. John," said Colonel Fleming, quickly. "That +will give you and your wife all you want." + +They walked on in silence. Then Colonel Fleming took Graham's arm. + +"I say, old fellow, you've a rare chance of helping a soul through the +valley. What do you—what don't you believe?" + +"Oh, I don't know." Graham's tone was weary. "I have never formulated +my belief in my own mind. The shadow of death in our home makes things +different. I believe in God. I went to church last Sunday, and I tested +myself with the Creed. I think I do believe all the statements in it." + +"Capital! I always knew you were sounder than you made out! The +forgiveness of sins brings us to the resurrection of the body and the +life everlasting, doesn't it?" + +"That's how it winds up." + +"Well, get your wife to pray. A few words will be enough. Our Master is +quick to hear and quick to save. He'll blot out her sins, and take her +hand through the River if she asks Him. Nothing could be easier. Don't +trouble her head with doctrines. Get her to speak to the One Who can +help her. He's the only One Who can." + +"It sounds simple. I'll have a try. I should like her to get some +comfort and peace of mind. She won't see my mother." + +They were silent again. Presently Colonel Fleming stopped and said— + +"Look up, old chap! Did you ever see such magnificent heavens stretched +out before us? Doesn't it give you an idea of infinity and glory and +power?" + +Graham looked up and heaved a sigh. + +"Yes, yes," he said. "It's bringing conviction to me that all things +are easy to our Creator. But I'm—I'm a poor hand with women, Jack, and +that's a fact!" + + +It was an hour later that he returned home, but hope and fresh courage +were with him. And before he went to bed that night, he took hold of a +Bible and read the whole of the Gospel of St. John through to himself. + +He shut up the Book with a lightened heart. + +"I believe I have got hold of the cure," he said to himself. + +And he went to sleep for the first time since his marriage with peace +and hope creeping into his heart. + + +The next evening, he suggested reading to his wife, and she, after a +little hesitation, consented to listen. Every night after that, he read +about fifteen to twenty verses of the Gospel of St. John. + +Eva never made any remarks. But once she looked at her husband +curiously. + +"You read it as if your life depended on it," she said, with a little +funny laugh. + +He looked up at her with earnest eyes. "Your life does depend upon it," +he said. "I mean the life that matters, the life of your soul." + +She was dumb; the arrow had sped home and pierced the crust of selfish +indifference and distaste to unseen things. + +She said nothing, but he felt she listened in a different spirit +afterwards. + +And then one night she woke him up with a frightened cry— + +"Oh, Graham, I want to get right with God. But I've never properly +served Him. What can I do? I can't sleep. Do comfort me." + +He was ready for her need—and repeated word for word what Colonel +Fleming had said to him. + +"You've only to ask to have your sins forgiven, Eva. Christ died to +do it, we've read about it. He'll come and take your soul into His +keeping. Ask Him now." + +"Oh, let us ask Him together. I've been a worldly, wicked woman, and I +have never thought of these things before." + +So in the dead of night, whilst all the rest of the house lay sleeping, +husband and wife haltingly prayed their way into the Kingdom. + +Graham had been learning slowly from the Master Himself. And when the +dawn broke, it found them both with the peace that no man can give, in +their hearts and souls, the peace that passes understanding. + + + +CHAPTER V + +TROUBLE AT THE HALL + +MAY AGNEW stood in the farmhouse porch listening. It was a rainy day, +but equipped in her macintosh coat and hat, she defied the elements. +She had come over to see Sara, and was spellbound by hearing her sing. + +A simple little song, but accompanied by the guitar, the haunting +melody of it surprised and delighted May. She waited till it ended, +then she stepped inside. + +And a minute later, Sara was greeting her warmly. + +"You never told me you sang, nor that you had a guitar." + +"I am not always in a singing mood," said Sara. "I forgot all about my +guitar till the rain and winds of these last few days drove me indoors, +and baby likes music, so now I play and sing to him." + +"It is impertinence to pronounce an opinion upon your voice, but it is +one of the most delicious that I have ever heard." + +"Thank you," said Sara, laughing, "but I am no musician. I only sing to +amuse myself and others. How are you? I have not seen you lately." + +"I have been busy, and now father is beginning his shoots, they keep me +occupied. I've come over to ask you up to dinner to-morrow night. Will +you excuse a short invitation? And will you be an angel and bring up +your guitar and sing to us? Father is so fond of music." + +"Thank you for asking me. Yes, I will certainly sing to you if you +would like me to do so. Is it a big party?" + +"No, only the men in the house, and one of my aunts is staying with us. +I shall ask Nellie and the Rector up. Then we shall be four ladies to +six men, but I can't help that." + +Baby Oliver, who had been sitting on the floor listening to the music, +now demanded attention. Sara rang the bell and gave him to his nurse. + +"I know you like children," she said, "but I don't want him to bore my +visitors when they come." + +"You don't let him do that as a rule. I love him. I'm so glad you're +staying on here. You won't be going back to town just yet?" + +"No," said Sara, clasping her hands tightly round her knees and gazing +dreamily into the fire. "I have been thinking over it, but the fogs are +very bad there, they say, and nurse seems to have settled down here. +I'm inclined to stay on. You say it is never very cold here." + +"Splendid! It's never cold in our village; we're sheltered from the +north-east winds. You look so cosy here that I should love to stay and +have a good talk, but I'm busy and I must move on. I shall look forward +to seeing you to-morrow." + +She was gone as quickly as she had come, but Sara did not stir from her +seat. Her guitar and the little songs she had been singing had taken +her thoughts back to Felstone Corner where she had sung so often to +Mrs. Laird. She had not heard from her friend lately; and in her quiet +life at the farm, she learnt to look for letters as a real treat. + +She had settled down very comfortably in this small Devonshire village. +She knew most of the villagers by this time. And though May had been +quite right in saying there was no want or poverty amongst her father's +tenants, yet Sara had found a good many sad hearts amongst them. If it +was a model village, the inmates of the pretty cottages were much the +same as other country people. They had their quarrels, their family +troubles, their share of sickness. + +Sara found an old blind man who loved to be read aloud to, and an old +bedridden woman who welcomed every visitor with keen delight. These she +visited regularly every week. The Rector had asked her to do so. She +never found time heavy on her hands, and she was happy, in spite of the +heartache of Graham's marriage, and all that she felt it entailed. + + +The next evening she went up to the Hall. It was not the first time +that she had dined there, and she and the Squire were very good +friends. Sometimes he would come to the farm to have a chat with her, +and to bring her one of his favourite books. For though a farmer and a +sportsman, Mr. Agnew was also a lover of books, and he spent an hour +every day in his library amongst them. + +Sara loved to watch May moving about amongst her guests. She was a +perfect hostess, and on this night was in the brightest spirits. Sara +wondered if the presence of a favourite cousin, a handsome young +soldier, was accountable for this. He paid her great attention, but so +did two other men, one a barrister, who to Sara's surprise knew her +brother, and the other a young neighbouring squire. Nellie Peel looked +very pretty in her soft white satin gown. May was in black and gold. A +gold braid was threaded through her dark hair, and a crimson rose at +her breast. Sara herself wore russet-brown velvet. Rare lace was in +neck and sleeves, and a single row of pearls was the only ornament she +wore. + +Miss Agnew, a tall stout woman with plain features, but with a great +deal of presence and personality about her, said to Sara as they +gathered round the drawing-room fire after dinner was over— + +"I never felt so plain in my life. You three young people quite put me +in the shade. My niece has lost her heart to you, Miss Darlington. I +knew you must be something special, for she is very critical as a rule." + +"She has been very kind to me a stranger," said Sara, "and I am very +fond of her." + +"She ought to marry," her aunt continued, "but I don't know what my +brother would do without her. And he is getting old. I see a great +difference in him this time. I haven't been here for a year. I live in +Bath, and am not fond of moving about. He does too much, I tell him; +and his daughter takes after him that way. A pity that little creature +over there doesn't do more in her husband's parish. What a get-up for a +parson's wife! And yet she is so pretty that one can forgive her a lot!" + +When the gentlemen came in, May begged Sara to sing. + +"And sing that sweet little song you were singing to yourself and the +baby the other afternoon in the twilight." + +"It is very simple," said Sara; "all my songs are. They suit the +guitar, which cannot accomplish much." + +She sat where she was, and as she played and sang, she riveted the +attention of all. Her graceful ease, and the happy, shining light in +her big grey eyes, made the Squire turn to his sister— + +"If I were twenty years younger, Maria, I should have lost my heart to +her." + +And Sara sang— + + "Oh, how can you sing, and why do you sing, + Little Robin with voice so gay? + The snow and the frost have whitened the ground, + Your food has been taken away! + + "I sing because I am sure of my food, + There is always some one to see + That robins have food when the ground is hard. + I'm certain it's coming to me! + + "Oh, how can you sing, and why do you sing, + Gentle thrush with the speckled throat? + The bushes are bare, and the rain beats down; + You have not a sorrowful note! + + "I sing because of the sweet coming spring, + I heed not this dismal wet day. + It will not last, for the sun will shine forth, + The clouds will be driven away! + + "Oh, how can you sing, and why do you sing, + Fair maid in the gloomy black gown? + Alone in the world in a garret small, + And outside—a dull dreary town! + + "I sing because I have joy in my heart, + And my eyes are so far away, + On the hills of gold where my treasures are, + And where I am going one day! + + "Oh, Robin, and Thrush, and Maiden so fair, + With your joy and your faith so sure, + We'll all learn to sing in the darkest time, + We'll sing, and we'll learn to endure!" + +Sara's voice struck a chord in every heart. The Squire brushed his hand +across his eyes. + +"Those simple songs for me," he said. "Can you give us some more?" + +Sara complied with his wish. It was her voice perhaps more than the +words that always reached the hearts of those who listened. If her song +was gay, her hearers became so; if it was full of pathos, tears rose to +their eyes; if it touched on some of the deep things in life, a sweet +and softened expression came over the faces of her audience. + +That was a very pleasant evening at the Hall; and Sara always looked +back to it afterwards as one of her bright times. + +When she left, the Rector and his wife said they would walk home with +her. They were all accustomed to returning from their parties on foot. +Nellie was longer than Sara in equipping herself for her walk home, and +for a moment Sara stood on the broad stone terrace outside the front +door enjoying the beauty of the night. + +The Squire came up to her there, and startled her by putting his hand +on her shoulder. + +"Thank you, my dear, for the pleasure you have given us to-night. Your +songs have brought back to me many sweet memories. I'm glad to think +you're a friend of my girl's. You'll help her. She's a good girl, but +a wee bit too sure of herself. As we get older, we realize how many +mistakes we have made." + +He gave a little sigh, and Sara hardly knew what to say. + +"I'm very fond of May," she said, "and think myself fortunate in being +made so welcome by all of you." + +And then the Rector came up, and they said good-bye to their host and +came away. + +"I wish I could sing like you," Nellie said, taking her arm +affectionately. + +"I wish I could paint like you," said Sara, laughing. "We must be +content with our own gifts, must we not?" + +"We can all sing in our hearts," said the Rector, and he murmured to +himself. "We'll sing, and we'll learn to endure." + +His wife caught the words. + +"I suppose you have to endure me," she said, half-laughing, half-vexed. +"And I consider I have to endure much more from you than you do from +me. Because I let you go your own way, and never interfere with you, +but you won't let me go mine. Fancy, Miss Darlington, they're making a +new golf course at Manstead, and he doesn't want me to become a member! +Now what possible harm can golf do me?" + +"We won't discuss that subject now," said the Rector, uneasily. + +"No," said Sara, quietly; "a third person ought never to be brought +into a discussion between two. It isn't fair, especially if she wants +to remain a friend of those two!" + +Nellie laughed. + +"But you see I want you to take my part. John thinks it right to +deprive me of so many pleasures. I should like to ride out with the +hounds. May has offered to mount me, and I can ride a little, but it is +tabooed. They are going out to-morrow. Would you like to come to the +meet with me? I am going on foot. They meet at Spelding's Cross. It +will be a nice walk—just two miles from here." + +"No, I am afraid I can't go to-morrow," said Sara. "Nurse is having a +day out, so I have the baby." + +"Oh, that blessed baby! Well, I won't say anything against him, for I +know you adore him, and he is a darling. I do allow that." + +Then the Rector began to talk of the Squire's library, and as he and +Sara were both book lovers, they waxed enthusiastic over it, whilst +Nellie laughed at them both. + +As they parted with Sara at the gate, the Rector said— + +"I hope you will bring your guitar over to us one day. I haven't +enjoyed an evening so much as I have to-night for a long while." + +And as they went along the lane, Nellie called out— + +"You were the success of the evening, Miss Darlington. Good night." + +Sara smiled. + +"Ah!" she said to herself. "How little they know what a poor creature I +am at heart! But I will be glad. I have plenty to make me so. Life is +full, and I have found very pleasant friends in this quiet little spot." + + +The next afternoon, she was in her sitting-room trying to soothe her +little nephew who was teething and rather fractious in consequence, +when her door burst open, and Mrs. Shiplake appeared panting with +excitement. + +"Oh, ma'am, what do you think! My Frankie has just run in with the +news. Our poor dear Squire has broken his neck out hunting! It's given +me such a turn, I be tremblin' to where I stand." + +Sara stood up. She could not believe her ears. + +"Not dead!" she cried. "Oh, he can't be dead!" + +"But 'tis Gospel truth, ma'am—he were carried home an hour ago, and two +doctors wired for, and my Frank stayed till he heard the head groom say +'twas all over! What an awful situation for the whole lot of us!" + +Sara felt quite dazed. She recalled the Squire's last words to her on +the previous night. How little she thought that she would never see him +alive again, and then her whole heart went out to May. How would she +bear this awful blow? Had she been with him when the accident occurred, +she wondered. She felt glad that May had her aunt staying with her, but +she knew what a terrible shock it would be to them all. + +Later on she heard further particulars from Frank. It was in taking +a high fence that the Squire's horse came down, and flung his master +against the trunk of a tree. Death was instantaneous, and May riding on +in front was absolutely unconscious of what had occurred. Her cousin +broke the news to her, and every one said her calmness and composure +astonished them all. She walked home by the side of her father's dead +body, and when they arrived at the house issued all necessary orders +with an unfaltering voice. + +Sara knew the reaction would come, but during the next few days, May +was still the ruling spirit in the house. + + +The Rector came over to Sara with a white shaken face. He had been over +to the Hall to see the last of his old friend, and had found May very +cold and grave, very absorbed in necessary business, and not in any +respect broken down with grief at her loss. + +"I cannot understand her," he said to Sara; "her aunt is absolutely ill +with the shock of it, but May talks as if she is arranging a funeral +for some outside stranger. Has she no feelings, do you think?" + +"I am sure she has," said Sara, earnestly; "she and her father were +devoted to each other. She will feel it more by and by. I expect the +shock has for the time stunned her." + +"I asked her if I could do anything to help her, but she said her +cousin, Captain Talbot, was seeing to everything for her. She seems as +if she wants no sympathy from any one. I was allowed to give her no +comfort." + +"The time for that is not just yet," said Sara, thoughtfully. And she +was right. + + +It was not till after the funeral had taken place, and after all the +relatives and friends had left the house, that May began to realize her +loss. + +Her aunt remained with her, but even she got upon May's nerves. She +longed to be quite alone, and at last, frankly told her aunt so. + +Miss Agnew was much hurt, but she herself wanted to get home, and was +glad to have the excuse of leaving her niece. + +"I will come down to you later," she said; "for you are too young to be +left long in this big place alone, and it would not be the thing. But +for the present, if you want to nurse your grief in solitude, you can +do it!" + +Sara had written a little note of sympathy to May, and she had a line +acknowledging it. But she did not see her till three weeks after the +funeral, and then May surprised her one day by walking in whilst she +was at tea. + +Sara was shocked to see how white and ill she looked. But she held her +head high, and spoke much as usual. + +"You always look so cosy here! How is the baby? For once I find you +without him!" + +"He is very well, thank you. He is asleep in the nursery now. I am so +glad to see you. I did not come up to you, because I thought you would +not care to see visitors." + +"I don't count you as a visitor. But I have been frightfully busy, and +Mr. Dane, our lawyer, is still in the house. I suppose you know my aunt +has left me?" + +"I heard she had. Are you sorry?" + +May gave a wintry smile. + +"No, I'm glad; she worried me. I have never been accustomed to have +women fussing over me, and I could not appreciate it. She threatens +to come back to me, says it's improper my living alone! Now, isn't +that very Early Victorian? What do you think? Tell me frankly. I am +expecting my brother back in three months' time. His ship is still +at Hong Kong, but till he comes, I shall keep everything going as it +always has been. Why on earth should I require a chaperon?" + +"It isn't necessary," said Sara, slowly, "but I think it would be +pleasanter for you. It would leave you freer to have your friends at +the house." + +"You don't think I am going to entertain at present, do you? Now, look +here. I want to ask you a favour. I've been thinking over things, and +I suppose I had better not run the risk of having Aunt Maria coming +back just yet. Will you come up and stay with me? I'm perfectly certain +we should get on. You would go your way and I should go mine, and you +never worry nor fuss." + +"My dear! I don't think I can. It is not possible. I should not like to +leave my small nephew down here without me." + +"But, of course, you can bring him with you. There are the old +nurseries. We could make him and his nurse quite comfortable. At all +events, you can stay with me till Alan comes back. Do try to do it. I +won't press you for an answer to-day. There's no hurry; think it over." + +Sara looked at May without speaking for a moment, then she said— + +"I'll do it if I can, if it will be any help to you, I'll come. It is +very generous and good of you to take us all in. Could I bring Lacy as +my maid, do you think?" + +"Of course." + +May was drinking a cup of tea. She put it down hastily, and got up to +go. + +"I can't stay. I have business to do with Mr. Dane before dinner. +Thanks awfully. You don't know how I shall like it." + +She shook hands abruptly with Sara, but when she reached the door, she +turned— + +"Do you know what father said to me before we went to bed that last +evening? I suppose you know how struck he was with your singing. He +said of you,— + +"'That's a most charming woman, May. I should like to see more of her. +One feels the better for having her near one. Couldn't we ask her to +stay in the house?' + +"And I said I was afraid you wouldn't leave the baby." + +She broke off, slipped out of the door, and was gone, leaving her +sentence unfinished. + +Sara understood. She knew that the mention of her father, and the +memory of that last evening of his, had proved too much for her +self-control. + +It was the remembrance of the Squire's words to herself that had made +her accept May's invitation so promptly. + +"He would like it, dear old man!" she thought. "He asked me to be her +friend and help her; and God helping me, I will." + +She knew that there would be difficulties in her way, and she found +that it needed a good deal of talk and persuasion to make both nurse +and Lacy willing to accompany her. Mrs. Shiplake was aggrieved too, for +she had quite looked forward to having her as a permanent lodger all +the winter. However, Sara managed to soothe them all, and a week later +she went up to the Hall. + +Nellie Peel was very excited over the news. + +She met Sara out one afternoon, and told her that she had just heard of +the plan from her father who had been up to the Hall. + +"I do think May might be a little more friendly with me. She hasn't +been near us, and we are quite her oldest friends here. She is so +self-important now. One would think that she was squiress. It all +belongs to her brother, and some people say he is engaged to some girl +out abroad. If he leaves the Navy and comes home and marries, May may +find herself without a home. I wonder how she will like that!" + +"She would bear it as other women have before her," said Sara, quietly. +"We will hope, for her sake, that she will not be turned out of her old +home just yet." + +"I don't wonder that she has sent for you," said Nellie, quickly, not +liking the pained look in Sara's eyes. "If I ever get into a hobble +about anything, I should do the same—I wonder how you will like it up +at the Hall? I always love staying there. It is so luxurious!" + +But the luxury and comfort did not appeal to Sara, who had only one +overwhelming longing, and that was to comfort this sorrowful lonely +girl in the hour of her trouble. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +AN EVENING TALK + +"YOU don't mind sitting up here in the evening, do you?" May asked this +question of Sara after dinner the first evening. + +They were in the library. The Squire's chair was drawn up to the fire +just as when he was there, but Sara noticed that May never sat in it. +In the same way, the chair at the head of the dining-table was always +there, but it was never used. May drew a low chair up to the fire +by Sara's side. It was the first time they had been alone. At May's +suggestion the lamps had not been lighted. Only the wax candles on the +big carved writing-table gave light besides the fire, but the flames +flickered and danced merrily up the wide chimney, and touched with +golden sparkles the books in the bookcases, the pictures on the walls, +and the handsome copper and silver ornaments about the long room. + +"Father and I always sat here after dinner," said May, gently. "And I +like to think that his spirit is here still. You will not laugh at me +if I tell you something. Yesterday, all day long, I was hunting for +an important paper which Mr. Dane wanted. I knew father had had it in +his hand in this room the day before—before his accident. I came up +here, and I searched everywhere for it. I turned out the drawers in the +writing-table, I ransacked the bureau for it, I searched everywhere. +And last night as I was sitting here alone, I felt that father was near +me. I said out loud: + +"'If only you would tell me where you put it!' + +"This morning I came here again and had another hunt, and, do you know, +when I opened his writing-table drawer—there was the paper just doubled +in half on the very top! Now don't you think he came back and put it +there himself?" + +Sara, looking at May's pale earnest face, could not answer her for a +moment, and May, quick to read faces, exclaimed— + +"I see you don't believe it. You will say I hadn't looked properly, +that it was a coincidence. Well, you can think what you like. But I +know, and am perfectly certain, that there was no coincidence about it." + +A little silence fell on them. Then May said, abruptly— + +"Where is he, Miss Darlington? He was taken so suddenly. He was alive +to his finger tips! What an awfully cruel thing death is! How can he +be silent towards me if the best part of him is living still. And what +is he doing? And what is he thinking? Oh, I wish I knew! I don't doubt +where he is! Father was always so very good, though he never talked +much. Do you know, he used to read a chapter out of mother's Bible +every night before he went to sleep? And I shall never forget his +saying to me in this very room the first night after I came home from +school: + +"'My dear, your mother was a good woman, and she isn't here to teach +you. I want you to be like her. Will you always say your prayers and +read your Bible in the quiet of your bedroom every day? I promised your +mother I would do it, and I want you to do it too.' + +"Of course I promised." + +"It is a great comfort to have such memories as that," said Sara with +a little smile. "And I should trust your father to God's own keeping, +dear May. Don't have an anxious or unhappy thought about him. He was +spared a long illness, which is so trying to men." + +"Oh yes," May said listlessly. "I do believe he is all right. It is +not his fate which depresses me, but my own. I have lost everything +with him! He and I enjoyed everything together, now I shall never enjoy +anything without him. I have lost my appetite. Can you understand me? +Nothing interests me now. I try to do everything as I have always +done, and I am struggling to take over a good deal that he did. There +is plenty to keep me occupied, but deep down in my heart is the awful +blank which will never be filled." + +"I think I can understand," said Sara, tenderly. "I have gone through +the same experience myself." + +"Not exactly the same, have you? And I am not brave enough to face my +future. Let me tell you. It is a relief to talk to some one. Shall I +bore you?" + +"My dear child!" + +Sara's little caressing touch on her arm made May exclaim— + +"You're the only person who seems to care a bit about me! I don't +know if you have heard about my brother Alan. He is in the Navy, and +just lately he has become engaged to an old friend of ours, Lilian +Rush. Everything is left to him—house, property, and every penny of +money. I have nothing but three hundred a year left me by my mother. +I suppose father considered that enough, but then he expected that I +shall be dependent on Alan for a home. I know he will retire from his +profession, and settle down here at once. He will marry, of course. I +cannot, and will not, stay here with them, so it means a break-up of +all I value and love. Aren't women at a disadvantage? It seems so cruel +to be turned out of my home and give my place to a stranger, one not of +the same blood, and who can never love the family things as I do? Mr. +Peel talked to me the other day of comfort coming to me. I thought how +little he knew my circumstances to imagine I could 'ever' be comforted." + +She spoke with passion. Clasping her hands round her knees, she looked +into the glowing embers of the fire with gloomy sullen eyes. + +And then Sara spoke. + +"My dear, I don't often talk about myself, but I want you to listen to +me now. I suppose you look upon me as a happy woman?" + +"The personification of happiness!" said May, looking at the sweet +sunny face opposite her. "Everybody says you carry a fund of sunshine +about with you. Though I'm so miserable myself, I felt I couldn't stand +long-faced tearful people about me. That's why I asked you to come to +me. I have been wading through hundreds of letters of consolation, and +there hasn't been one with a spark of brightness in it. Resignation +they all preach, and at present, I am full of resentment." + +"It is some years now since I lost my father," said Sara, slowly and +softly. "Strange to say you and I are much alike in our experience. +I had a country home like you. I hunted with my father, and after my +mother's death did everything with him. Then he died, and not only did +I lose him, but my home went as well. We had to sell the estate, and +my brother and I went to London and had a hard struggle to live whilst +he was an unknown briefless barrister. Then gradually he got on in his +profession, and when I fancied we were settling down to a comfortable +life together, he met a girl whom he liked, and my second home was +broken up. These are just the facts of my life, but I want to tell you +something more. + +"In the early days, when the crash came, and I had to see all our +family belongings sold, when I was leaving my home, and all the people +I cared about, I was like you, rebellious and miserable. I could not, +and would not, see any light for myself anywhere. And then one day, our +Rector preached a sermon. I have never forgotten it. + + "'The joy of the Lord is, your strength.' + +"He told us first of all how joy in the heart carried people on the +crest of the wave in time of storm and stress, how it strengthened and +braced all the weakness in them, how absolutely impossible it was for +them to sink under the biggest trouble that could come to them in this +world if they had joy inside them. He compared it to a life-belt. + +"'Joy won't let you drown,' he said, 'but take care that it is not a +spurious imitation of the genuine article.' + +"And then, having made our mouths water for this wonderful attribute, +he told us how we could get it." + +May looked interested. + +"I never realized you had been through a bad time like mine," she said. +"I suppose you got this joy, and have kept it ever since." + +"You can have it too, dear." + +"Oh, I know! I know! Do you remember your little song? Isn't it an +extraordinary thing you sang that on the eve of our trouble? I remember +father saying he loved it. How did it go? I remember something about a +maid in a black gown who was singing because she had joy in her heart! +But nothing can bring me joy, nothing!" + +"Oh yes, May, you could obtain as I did." + +"How did you get it?" + +"I went down on my knees in church, and again when I got home, and +besought for my poor desolate empty heart to be flooded with the love +and joy that only my Saviour could give me. He came in Himself, and +took possession of me. It's the knowledge of His love that brings the +joy, May. You can bear anything if you lean hard on Him, and realize +that He is with you through it all. If we can't understand the reason +why, He stills our questionings by telling us we shall see the way He +has led us by and by, and acknowledge that it all has worked out for +our good. If you know a person loves you very much, you can't help +trusting him." + +May was silent. She was naturally reserved, and Sara knew that this was +an opportunity that she might not get again. So she went on talking in +her soft happy voice, and at last, her words began to impress May with +an inexplicable conviction of their truth and reality. + +"It may seem a strange thing to be talking about joy to you at this +time," concluded Sara, "but our Lord did it to His disciples in the +darkest hour of their lives, and when His agony was just coming upon +Him. It's one of the Heavenly paradoxes, that when we're full of +trouble, we can be full of joy. And it's such exquisite, unseen joy, +that only we ourselves know about." + +"The knowledge that our Lord was close to me could bring me no joy," +said May, slowly, "for I don't love Him." + +"But He loves you," Sara said quickly; "that's what brings the joy." + +Then they were silent, the firelight flickering upon their faces, upon +May's troubled eyes and hard shut mouth, upon Sara's tender, glowing +gaze. + +When they parted for the night a little latter, May kissed Sara very +warmly. + +"You're a wonderful person!" she said. "As a rule, I hate jaws from +pious people, but with you it seems so simple and natural, a part of +yourself, that nothing jars. You have given me something to think +about. It's rather queer your life altering after hearing that text. +For our Rector quoted it to me when talking about you the other day. He +said he always said to himself when he looked at you, 'The joy of the +Lord is her strength.'" + +"Oh," said Sara with tears in her eyes; "I'm a very poor creature, but +the poorest creatures can be made happy, and can tell others how they +have been made so." + +May said nothing more. She rather avoided another heart-to-heart talk +in the evenings afterwards. And Sara was quite content to leave her +alone. She never forced her views upon any one. And certainly she and +her baby nephew brought brightness into the sad house. + +May would often steal away to the nursery. She was very fond of +children and Baby Oliver was a friendly little soul. He learnt to know +her and look for her, and his chubby arms would be extended at once to +be taken up and amused. They saw very little of outside neighbours. + + +Nellie came up to the Hall occasionally, but as she told Sara when she +met her out one day, she was not good at talking to people when they +were in trouble. + +"I'm jealous of May. She has taken possession of you altogether. I have +nobody to go off to, and pour out all my woes and troubles to now. And +John and I do get so tired of each other. How long are you going to +stay here? Till Captain Agnew comes home?" + +"I think so," replied Sara. + +And then Nellie had laughed and gone off calling out— + +"It will be my turn then to have you." + +Sara at this time was rather taken up with the news that Mrs. Laird was +giving her in her letters. + +Eva's serious illness was a great surprise to her. + +Then one day the following letter came:— + + "MY DEAREST SARA, + + "You will be surprised and pleased to hear that Eva has of her own +accord sent for me to come and see her. I told you, did I not? that +she is in bed now, and too weak to get up. Graham is wonderful. He is +always with her, when he is not at his office, and I do not expect to +see much of him. I went round to Eva this afternoon. She looks very +ill, and has attacks of pain which are distressing to witness. But she +rallies wonderfully from them. She has altered very much. As I looked +at her, and then at my boy, I could not help noticing that there was a +calm peacefulness and serenity about their faces that used not to be +upon them. I suppose they have learnt to fit into each other's ways, +and to love each other. Graham left us together, and Sara, the last bit +of anger and dislike to Eva left me. When she put her hand into mine +and said, 'I want to be quite sure of your forgiveness, Cousin Rachael. +I've had an unhappy past, but God has forgiven me and given me His +peace, and I'm not afraid to go to Him now.' She told me the end might +come in any one of these heart attacks, and she was longing to go. Then +she added: 'I have selfishly made Graham's life very unhappy this last +year, but I am not sorry he married me, and I do not think he will be, +when he remembers what he has done for me.' All her peevishness and +discontent has gone. + + "I came away from her, feeling that a miracle had been performed, and +then I suddenly thought of myself and of what I was like a couple of +years ago, and I began to see that what changed my outlook, has changed +hers. Graham walked home with me. He was very silent, but very dear. +He told me that Eva's little girl was coming home from school for the +holidays, that her mother wanted to see her. I have never seen the +child, but I remember you spoke of her as a dear little thing. I have +a strong feeling that Eva may not be with us at Christmas. God only +knows. This is a dull stupid letter. I get a great longing for you, +Sara, sometimes. When shall we see each other again? + + "Much love, + + "Your loving old friend, + + "RACHAEL LAIRD." + +Sara was hardly surprised to hear a fortnight later of Eva's death. +For a day or two there was a shadow upon her spirit, which impressed +itself upon her face. Even May noticed it, but she asked no questions. +Sara was peculiarly reticent about her life with the Lairds. She rarely +mentioned them; in some way she felt a shrinking from doing so. And yet +now in the time of his trouble, Graham was continually in her thoughts. +She wondered if his faith in God had increased during the time when he +must have gone down for part of the way with his wife into the Valley +of the Shadow of Death. And she longed to be able to send him some bit +of comfort. She could only pray for him, and that she never failed to +do. + + +About Christmas time, she got a long letter from Mrs. Laird— + + "MY DEAREST SARA, + + "It seemed to me that poor Eva's funeral was no sooner over than Graham +came to me to ask me my advice about her child. + + "'I promised Eva I would be a father to her,' he said, 'and I have +written to her, and she must spend her holidays with me. It will be +dull for a small child alone in that big house.' + + "He paused, and, Sara, I knew what he hoped. And I could not bring +myself to say it. I have never had a child in the house since my little +Dorrie died. A child of Eva's, with her mother's nature—well, I will +not write as I felt! The old Adam dies hard, Sara! Then I asked Graham +if he was going to live in that big house by himself. And he sighed and +said he felt he must, until he could let it. 'The child must have a +home, mother,' he said. 'Well,' I said, 'after her holidays, you might +come back to me for a little.' And he smiled. The first smile that has +crossed his lips since Eva died. 'I think I might, mother,' he said. +And my heart kindled at his words. + + "Yesterday the child arrived. He met her at the station and brought +her to see me on their way home. As they passed the house, it seemed +natural to him to do it, but I felt irritated at first—until I saw her. +I was sitting in the big drawing-room. Graham had run upstairs first to +ask me if he could bring her up. I hope he did not see my hesitation. +Then he went back, and a moment afterwards, she softly crept in at the +door and stood looking at me shyly and wistfully. Such a tiny slim +little thing in her deep black!—with big blue eyes and very fair hair. + + "I held out my hand, and she came sedately across to me. I kissed her, +Sara. She did not say one word. I wondered if my face was grim and +set, and if she was frightened of me. Somehow or other a sense of her +loneliness took possession of me. + + "'Have you had a nice journey?' I asked her for want of something +better to say. She looked at me, then clasped her small hands across +her chest. + + "'I felt,' she said, 'like Mummy used to—in a lonely world without +nobody to love me. And Mummy had me, and I have nobody.' + + "Great tears were in her eyes. I was going to put my arms right round +her and take her to my heart, when suddenly her little face became +perfectly radiant, and she sprang towards the table on which your +picture was—the one you sent me with your little nephew in your arms. +'Why!' she cried. 'It's my dearest Miss Darling! Does she live with +you? Mummy told me she had gone away.' + + "'So she has,' I said. But she did not hear me, she was hanging over +the picture in ecstasy. Then she turned to Graham who was following +her in. 'Oh!' she cried. 'My Miss Darling has got a baby! It's the one +thing I mean to have direck'ly I'm growed up. How very kind of God to +send her one.' + + "Graham smiled. + + "'Come along,' he said, 'we mustn't keep the cab waiting.' + + "She turned towards me at once, and put up her face for a good-bye kiss. + + "'Please, what may I call you? And may I, if I'm very good, come to see +Miss Darling's picture another day? She was a very special fren' of +mine, and I lost her so very soon.' + + "I tell you, Sara, I longed to keep the child for good and all. And I +said in a voice that astonished myself—'You may call me Grannie, dear.' + + "'Good night, Grannie dear,' she repeated, softly, and then Graham took +her away. + + "And now, Sara, I have been unpacking a box of Dorrie's books and +playthings, for if she and Graham do not come and live with me, I shall +go and live with them. + + "I can write no more. Much love, + + "Your loving old friend, + + "RACHAEL." + +"Ah!" murmured Sara to herself as she read and re-read this letter. "I +do not feel sorry for Graham if he has little True to share his big +empty house with him. She will cheer both him and his mother!" + +And she wrote a long letter in reply to Mrs. Laird, in which she begged +her to use her influence over the motherless child. + + "True responds so quickly if you talk to her. She has had so little +religious teaching that I always wonder that her faith in God is so +sure and strong." + + +Mrs. Laird acted upon Sara's suggestion. And day by day she and little +True drew nearer to each other, until the old lady was never happy away +from her. + +True said to her stepfather— + +"Grannie and I understand alike about some things, you know. I tell +her about fairyland, and she tells me about Heaven, and I really think +they're the same place, don't you?" + +And Graham looked at the child in amused astonishment. She often +reduced him to helpless silence. + + + +CHAPTER VII + +TOWN LIFE AGAIN + +CHRISTMAS passed; a very sad time at the Hall, and Sara was glad when +it was over. May sometimes seemed to her to be possessed with the fever +of unrest. She never sat still unless at meals; she never opened a +book to read, and rarely a newspaper. Sometimes in the evenings she +would throw herself down in a fit of exhaustion upon the couch in +the library, and ask Sara to read her the news. All day long she was +either shut up in the study conning accounts, and doing business with +her father's bailiff; or else she was going round her father's farms, +trying to keep the reins of each in her hand. + +"Alan will never cope with it," she said to Sara one day. "He is too +easy-going. I expect he will have an agent. Father never had one. +He has kept on John Whiting as his working bailiff, and has always +superintended everything himself." + +"Yes, but, May dear, you are wearing yourself out. No woman can have +the same grip as a man. It is too much for you." + +"I mean to keep everything going without any change till Alan comes +back. And I am happier working hard. I have not so much time to think." + +She and Sara were thoroughly content with each other's company, and +they did not see much of any one else, except occasionally Nellie Peel. + + +One day Nellie wrote a note to Sara, imploring her to come to tea with +her. + +"I shall be quite alone," she wrote; "and I have something of great +importance to tell you. My husband has gone to a clerical meeting and +won't be home till quite late. Don't disappoint me. May has so much of +you that she can well spare you to me this afternoon." + +Sara went, and found Nellie looking very bright and happy, with flushed +cheeks, and an important turn of her head. + +"Come and sit down in this easy-chair. Now then for my news. I don't +believe you would ever guess, and a year ago I should have thought it +bad news. Now I don't. I think it is seeing you with your little nephew +that has made me alter my mind." + +"Ah," said Sara, softly. "If my guess is a right one, I do indeed think +it good news. Is it that you are going to be a mother one day?" + +"Yes," whispered Nellie, "and I am glad. Of course John is delighted. +He has been so nice to me. I thought I must tell you before any one +else." + +"I am so very glad, Nellie dear. It is just what you want. Some little +life to tend and care for and train. You will have no more dull empty +days. And it will bring such a lot of fresh thoughts and ideas to you." + +"It has done that already," said Nellie, gravely. "I mean to turn over +a new leaf, and be a model wife and mother. I do want to be good, Miss +Darlington, but I hate being a long-faced Pharisee. You are not that. +You enjoy life, don't you? It doesn't matter where you are, or what +you are doing, you always look absolutely radiant, and I don't want my +child to think his mother a selfish pig!" + +Sara laughed heartily. But this was a prelude to a very nice little +talk together, and she left the rectory with great content in her +heart, for she knew that Nellie's rather shallow sleepy little soul was +at last waking up to realities. + + +The winter passed, and spring came. Slowly and gradually May was +creeping back to her normal life. She was not averse to seeing visitors +now. Occasionally she returned their calls. She and Sara always enjoyed +their evenings together. They would read and talk, and many long +earnest discussions they had on matters of science and theology, which +always led them to spiritual things. + +One day May heard from her brother on his way home, and strangely +enough, by the same mail, Sara heard from hers. Arnold's friend had +fractured his ankle, and they were returning to England before their +year was over. + +"It seems as if our circumstances are fitting in like a puzzle!" said +Sara, laughing. + +"My brother will want me in town very soon; and you will be wanting me +no longer." + +"Don't say that! I think I shall always want you. But I know what you +mean. Oh, Sara, what shall I do, when I am forced to leave this dear +old house? I have so much to interest and occupy me here. Imagine me +at a loose end in town! I always feel like a fish out of water there. +Where shall I live? What shall I do? You made your plans before your +brother married, but I can't do that. I know he will want help when +he first comes back. He knows nothing of the working of the estate. I +should like to take a cottage in the village and stay on as his agent. +I wonder if I could?" + +"I don't think it would be wise. Your brother would not get to know his +tenants so well if you did, and though it is delightful for you to be +able to look after everything in his absence, it wouldn't be the same +thing if he were here. It would place him in a false position." + +"Yes, I expect you are right. I had better make myself scarce, as soon +as ever he knows his way about." + +"I don't see why you shouldn't live in the neighbourhood still. You +need not separate yourself from them altogether, need you?" + +"The fact is, I know I should not be able to keep from interfering if +things went wrong," said May, laughing. "And Lilian is quite as fond of +managing as you say I am. I am afraid we should not get on if we lived +close to one another; whereas now we are great friends, and I should +always be able to pay them a visit in the summer." + +"I wish you would come and pay me a visit," said Sara. "I shall settle +down in town. My brother will have to be there, and it would be very +nice to have you, before you decided about your future." + +"I should love to come to you. May I really? Now, that makes my way +clear. I shall come straight off to you directly I leave this." + +A heavy sigh followed. May tried valiantly to keep up a brave heart, +but as yet she had not always succeeded. + + +In a very little time her brother arrived. + +Sara liked him, and though May had perhaps the stronger character of +the two, Alan was a clear-headed straightforward young fellow. He told +Sara he was bitterly sorry to leave his profession. He had always had a +passion for the sea from a boy, but his father only let him enter the +Navy on condition that he would leave it, and take possession of the +property when it came to him. + +"And I mean to do my best," he said, "but I shall never run the show +like my father did. He was a born farmer, and loved his land as I love +the sea. I don't know much about farming, but I shall learn, and I mean +to have an agent. It wasn't necessary with my father. It will be with +me." + +Then he spoke of his sister. + +"She's a fine woman, isn't she? A born ruler. I'm sorry she means to +turn out. The house will hold us both, and Lilian and she are very fond +of each other. But I must leave her a free hand. Women can't be coerced +these days, eh, Miss Darlington?" + + +Then came the day for Sara and her little nephew to return to London. +She left the Hall with sincere regret, but looked forward to seeing May +according to her promise later on. + +And when she got back to town, she found her brother awaiting her. He +was delighted at the growth of his baby son, who was now a year old, +and a most intelligent and amusing little mortal. + +Sara, with her usual adaptability, soon settled down in the town house +again, and life went on much the same as it had done before. + +Then one day she heard from Mrs. Laird, asking her if she could ever +spare time to run down to Folkestone and see little True, who had gone +back to school, but who had not been well. + +"Graham tells me I fuss too much over her," she wrote, "but she's +rather a delicate child, and she has had cold upon cold this winter. +I don't think the children are looked after carefully enough at her +school, and I want Graham to take her away and let me have her. There's +a very good day school she could attend here. If you could see her, I +should be so glad, for you could tell me what you thought of her." + +So one sunny day, Sara went down to True's school, and was allowed to +take her out for the whole day. + +The child was white and thin, but full of spirit, and delighted to see +her "Miss Darling" again. + +They went down to the beach, had lunch at a restaurant, and then went +for a drive in the afternoon, and True's little tongue was busy the +whole time. She spoke quite simply and a little sadly of her mother. + +"I never saw her go to Heaven, that's what made me so sorry, she didn't +tell me she was so very ill, and I wanted to wish her good-bye. It's +so dreadful to lose your Mummy, because you can't get another, and I +did love Mummy very much. I used to bother her, she often said so, but +I truefully tried not to. She didn't like having to explain things to +me—and I always feel I must know things; don't you, Miss Darling? And +now I've got two quite new people that I belong to, at least, Dad isn't +quite new. I've always knowed him, since we stayed at the farm near the +beautiful lake, and he says I can call him Dad." + +She paused for breath. + +"I'm sure you will get very fond of him," Sara said. "He will be always +good and kind." + +"Oh, my dear," said True in her old-fashioned way, "him and me are the +greatest fren's. We talk to each other about everything, and I tidy +out his pockets, and fill his pipe, and pour out his tea for him. He +came upstairs and sat with me when I went to bed with the earache, and +we said some hymns together. He likes some hymns and I like others. +And when I couldn't help crying for the pain, he wrapped me up in a +blanket, and set me on his knee by the fire. It was so comforting. He +has such nice big shoulders to rest your head against. I'm sure you +would think so, Miss Darling, if you did it. We used to talk about you +sometimes, and make out what you were doing. I said you were nursing +your baby and singing to it; he said you were making dark places light." + +"And what about Grannie?" asked Sara. + +"Oh, I just adore her!" + +True clasped her hands. + +"She spoils me, Dad says, but you've no idea what things I do with her. +She lets me tidy her boxes and drawers and have bits of ribbon and silk +to make dolls' frocks, and she tells me stories, and I play all sorts +of games with her. And we sit by the fire when it gets dark and see +pictures in the coals, and I tell her stories about them sometimes. I'm +very happy in Dalby, Miss Darling, but I do wish you'd come there too." + +It was hard to say which of them enjoyed that day the most. Sara was +always devoted to children; and she took a peculiar interest in True. +When she took her back to her school, she had a long talk with her +schoolmistress, who frankly said the child would be better at home than +at school. + +"Her brain is too quick and active, she works feverishly and excitedly, +she is always top of her class, and we have to keep her back. I do +not like the headaches she gets. She is too small to have them, and +I find they are the result of a high temperature. Of course whenever +she has one, she is put to bed and kept quiet. I think the necessary +competition in our classes is bad for her." + +Sara wrote this to Mrs. Laird. She hoped that True would be taken away; +she seemed to her much too small and delicate to be at such a big +boarding-school. + + +Then one day when she was sitting at tea, Graham Laird was announced. + +The suddenness of his coming brought a flush to her cheeks, and his +quiet determined handshake discomposed her for a moment. + +"How nice to see you!" she said. "Do sit down and let me give you some +tea. How is Mrs. Laird?" + +"Wonderfully well. I had to come to town on business, and I have come +to take away the child from school. It was good of you to take her out +for the day. A long account was written to me of the joys of that day." + +"She is a darling little thing," said Sara, warmly. "Are you going to +take her away before the Easter holidays? They are very late this year." + +"They are breaking up this week and expect me. My mother and I are +living together again, and she says she would like the charge of her." + +"Are you still going to live right in the town?" asked Sara. + +He looked at her with a little smile. + +"You wonder at our taste," he said. "The fact is houses are difficult +to get. I am keeping my eyes open, for I'm sure the child would be much +better in country air, and my mother would like it too. As I have my +car, I could easily live a few miles out." + +He took his tea from Sara's hands. He was conscious, as he always was +in her presence, of the freshness and fragrance of her atmosphere. + +She was dressed in a blue lavender cloth gown, her soft bright hair +seemed to be touched with sparkles of sunshine, her grey eyes as she +looked at Graham were the same sweet, steadfast ones that he remembered +so well. Her room was full of flowers, her surroundings had that +peculiarly homelike comfortable look which was characteristic of every +room which she occupied. + +And Sara, as she looked at the face that had never left her memory, saw +a change in it. Graham had streaks of grey in his dark hair; his face +was thinner and a little sharper in outline, but there was a serenity +and peacefulness in his eyes that never used to be there. + +"How are you?" he asked. "My mother will ask a good many questions +about you when I return. You must give me all the information that you +can. Are you going to stay in town all this summer?" + +"I am very well, thank you. We are thinking of going down to our farm +in Devonshire—baby and I—when the hot weather sets in." + +"Why don't you come up our way? My mother would enjoy seeing you again." + +Sara did not answer for a moment. The idea was delightful to her, but +hardly feasible. + +"I want your mother to come and see me," she said pleasantly. "She and +little True might like to pay a visit to Devonshire this summer." + +A shadow came into his eyes. + +"Perhaps they might," he said quietly. + +And Sara was vexed with herself for making the suggestion. + +"How is dear Ina?" + +"Very well. She and the Colonel are very busy people. She still keeps +her fingers in some of my pies and so does he. I don't think any of my +cousin's good works have been allowed to drop." + +"How nice!" + +Then he said abruptly—. + +"Do you think the child looking very delicate?" + +"Not particularly, but I do think she would be better at home and not +at school." + +"Yes, and we want to have her with us. She is very good company. She +stayed with me for a couple of weeks, before my mother came to me, and +she seemed perfectly happy and able to take care of herself." + +"I think her mother brought her up to be useful," said Sara; then she +added softly— + +"I was so sorry to hear of your trouble. Was it not very sudden? +Perhaps you would rather I did not speak of it?" + +"No, I would like to tell you. She and I both knew that her days were +numbered when we married. She was very lonely and afraid, and I think +I was able to comfort her—latterly. Her doctor told her he would +give her two years, but he told me that was the possibility, not the +probability." + +He paused. Sara's quick woman's intuition in an instant filled out that +short sketch of his married life. She knew his chivalrous nature; she +realized that Graham had married Eva out of tender compassion, because +he believed that he could help her. She had always known that Eva was +fond of him. + +But she was speechless. + +And after a moment or two, Graham went on— + +"I expect you would like to know that her end was a very peaceful and +happy one. She died in her sleep. But she was absolutely prepared and +ready for death." + +"I am so glad." + +Sara murmured the words. + +"Yes," he said in the same clear grave tone; "and though we were +married such a short time, though one can consider it but an interlude, +I shall never to the end of my life regret the step we took. For it was +then—" + +He was interrupted. Arnold Darlington came into the room. + +Sara introduced the two men, and they chatted together on various +subjects before Graham left. + +He told Sara he was staying in town the following day, which was +Sunday, and going down to Folkestone on the Monday. + +Arnold asked him to lunch, and he accepted the invitation. + + +When he was gone, Arnold looked at his sister with a whimsical smile. + +"So that is Laird with whom you lived in the wilds so long!" + +"I lived with his mother," corrected Sara. + +"It comes to the same thing. I like him. He's a strong able man." + +Sara said nothing. She felt she could not discuss him with her brother. + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +GRAHAM'S VISIT + +GRAHAM came to lunch, had a smoke and chat with Arnold in his study, +and then hearing that Sara was going to the Abbey service, asked if he +might accompany her. They walked across St. James's Park, which was +looking bright with bulbs and spring flowers. + +Sara found conversation rather difficult. Graham was peculiarly silent, +he seemed to her to be in dreams, but in reality every moment of his +time with her was precious to him. If he was in dreams, she formed the +centre of those dreams. + +They reached the Abbey, and managed to get seats in the Choir. The +service was exquisitely rendered, and the anthem that afternoon was, +"Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their +corn and their wine increased." One boy's voice rang out with such +thrilling power and sweetness that tears came to Sara's eyes. + +When they came out, Graham said— + +"I haven't enjoyed a service like that for many years. It seems to lift +one up to the heights." + +"Yes," said Sara; "I've had a very happy hour. I always come here in +the afternoon. I let nurse go out in the evening and stay with my small +nephew then." + +"May I, if we have spare time on our hands, come and see you on our +way home? True is always talking of you. I shall put up at an hotel +to-morrow night and then bring her up to town Tuesday. Will you be in +that afternoon?" + +"I shall make an engagement of it," said Sara with her happy smile. + +Then they talked of some of the philanthropic ventures of Graham's +cousin. He seemed to know all the weak points in them, and had already +remedied a good deal. + +"You are more interested in this part of the work than you were," said +Sara, presently. + +He looked at her. + +"I have had my outlook changed," he said quietly. Then he added— + +"I always used to wonder if your happiness was just a habit, if it was +cultivated, or whether it was spontaneous, the bubbling up of a spring +inside. I know it is the spring overflowing. That anthem explains it, +doesn't it? I'd like you to know that the first bit of it has become my +experience." + +Before Sara could speak, he was holding out his hand. They had come to +her brother's house and he was saying good-bye. + +"No, thank you, I won't come in, but we'll hope to see each other next +Tuesday." + +"Mr. Laird, you 'must' let me say how glad I am!" + +Sara's shining eyes made Graham's heart throb. He was putting great +restraint upon his feelings. + +"I knew you would be," he said simply, and then he turned away. + +And Sara went indoors with unspeakable joy filling her heart. + + +She almost counted the moments to Tuesday, and then took herself to +task for being so glad. + +"Still," she argued to herself, "I am wronging no woman by thinking of +him and loving him, even if he has left off loving me. And I shall see +him once more, and I shall have the memory of it afterwards." + +Tuesday came, and between three and four, Graham came into Sara's +drawing-room leading little True by the hand. + +The child seemed to make the situation easy at once. She flung her arms +round Sara's neck. + +"Isn't it lovely what's happening? Me leaving school and always going +to live with Dad and Grannie! And we've done some shopping. And I +choosed some new gloves for Dad, and we're taking Grannie a beautiful +basket to put her knitting in, with cherries hanging over it." + +"Shopping is a tremendous undertaking with True," said Graham, his +eyes alight with humour: "she thinks that every shopwalker and all the +assistants ought to gather round and witness our purchases." + +"I made Dad get some new gloves," said True, shaking her curls at him +in a motherly fashion. Then she darted to his side, and plunged her +hand into one of his coat pockets. Drawing out a stout, well-worn +leather pair of gloves, she held them up before Sara to see. + +"Now, did you ever see such disgusting, shabby gloves?" she cried. +"Grannie and me has to look him all over to see he is tidy when he +comes to church with us!" + +Sara's laughing eyes met Graham's. + +"Yes," he said; "I'm well managed, I can tell you!" + +He sat down and took True on his knee. The little girl subsided when +her stepfather and Sara began to talk to each other, but at last she +said in suppressed excitement— + +"Miss Darling, may I see your dear little baby? Dad says he hasn't seen +him, but we both know him by his picture. I know you aren't his real +mother now. Grannie explained it to me. I thought you know that—" + +But Sara had hastily risen, and rung the bell. + +"Yes, True darling, you shall see him at once. I will have him brought +down. He is getting quite a big boy now." + +Little Oliver appeared in his nurse's arm. He struggled to get to Sara, +and when in her lap, True advanced to make friends with him. He was +quite willing to be friends, and presently he scrambled down to the +floor, where he crawled very quickly towards Sara's guitar case. + +"Moo, moo, moo!" he called out. + +"There, isn't that clever?" cried Sara in delight. "He's beginning to +talk already. He loves music, and I play and sing to him when he comes +down. Now he quite expects it." + +"Don't disappoint him," said Graham. "True and I would like to hear +you." + +For a moment, Sara hesitated, then she opened her case. The baby sat on +the floor looking up expectantly. + +And then she broke into one of her pretty gay little songs called +"Fairybells." + +The tinkles of the bells were so realistic that True laughed and +clapped her hands, and the baby joined her, beating his hands on the +floor. + +Graham looked on. If this visit was enjoyed by Sara, to him it was a +dream of delight. + +"Ah!" he said. "We must tell Grannie about that song, True." + +He asked Sara to sing again, and she did so, and then tea came in. + +True hardly wanted to have hers. She was so engrossed in playing with +the baby on the floor that she wanted nothing else. And when his +nurse came in to take him away, she parted with him with the greatest +reluctance. + +"I wish you and baby would come and visit us," she said, when at last +she was seated up at the table enjoying some jam sandwiches. + +"Dad, dear, she'd come if you asked her, I expect." + +But Graham shook his head gravely. + +"I have asked her already and she has refused me. And I don't like to +be refused anything that I set my heart upon, True. Perhaps one day I +may ask her again, and then she may say 'Yes.'" + +"And when she comes, we'll never let her go again," cried True, gaily. + +Sara blushed, and she was conscious that Graham noted her blush. + +"Baby's father wants us both," she said in a cheerful tone. "I have my +brother to look after, just as you look after Dad, True." + +"Have you reely? Is he as untidy as Dad? I'm always tidying his +pockets, and his writing-table." + +They talked away, and then Graham carried True off with him to his +hotel. They were going to start for the North early the next morning. + +Good-bye was hard to say, and Sara's voice faltered a little as she +sent love and messages to Mrs. Laird and Ina. + +Graham held her hand in his as if he could not let it go, but his words +were few— + +"Good-bye. If ever I am up in town again, may I come and see you?" + +"Of course. I am always glad to see old friends." + +She could not, and would not, meet his gaze. + +When they had gone, she sat wrapt in dreamy meditation. And it was not +till her brother came in and claimed her attention that she roused +herself. + + +The next few days found her restless and preoccupied. Then, happily for +her, she heard from May, asking her if she could have her for a short +visit, and Sara brightened up again, and prepared to welcome her warmly. + +May arrived late one afternoon. Arnold did not see her till she came +into the drawing-room before dinner. She swept in with her usual +proud graceful carriage. She was clad in a thin, black gown, which +intensified the whiteness of her neck and arms. Her hair was coiled up +on the top of her head. She wore no jewelry of any sort, but she was a +girl who could not fail to be noticed anywhere. And her easy grace, and +clever, amusing talk, made her always a favourite with men. Sara was +not surprised to see her brother fall under her spell. + +May had lost the harassed look of gloom that she had after her father's +death. She gave Sara an amusing account of her brother's efforts to +understand and manage his tenants. + +"I came across him one day haranguing a very uppish farmer. They were +both red in the face, and were going at it hammer and tongs. + +"'I tell you,' Alan was shouting, 'I may not know as much about soil +and mangels as you do, but I do know that you've one of the best farms +on the property, and are putting by more money than most of us about +here. My father knew what a fair rent was, and I'm not going to reduce +it by one penny!' + +"They stopped when I came up. I asked Alan afterwards if it was nice to +show such heat in discussing such matters with a tenant, and he said: + +"'Only to hide my ignorance, my dear. I'm not going to let them +browbeat me! And as to shouting, we all shout at sea, it's second +nature!' + +"Oh, he'll get on with them soon. And I feel that you are right, Sara. +It is best that I should leave him to weather it out alone." + +"Have you made any plans yet?" asked Sara. + +"I want to do something in town. Work of some sort." + +"What a passion you all have for work nowadays!" said Arnold. "Why have +you such abundant energy? Women used not to possess it." + +"I suppose we are stronger, physically," said May, thoughtfully. "And +our schools train us in a wider way, and give us a broader outlook, +and a higher idea of our capabilities. I am not one of those who would +leave home to work. But my home has left me. And I can't sit down with +folded hands and do nothing. I have led a very active life at home, and +I want to be active still." + +"So many girls come to London to find work," said Arnold. "I see scores +of them going about the city. Typewriting and clerking gives them +stooping shoulders and weary-lined faces—old before their time. If I +were your brother, Miss Agnew, I would not allow you to do it." + +"There speaks a despot," said May, laughing; "how could you prevent me?" + +"I have prevented Sara. She had those ideas when we first left home, +but I persuaded her that I was going to the bad living alone in town. +So she swallowed the bait, and settled down with me as meek as Moses!" + +Sara laughed. + +"Yes, he is right in what he says, May. But men are very helpless +without women to look after them; and I have learnt that filling empty +corners and helping those who need help is as much work as anything +else." + +"Yes," said May, her expressive dark eyes shadowing a little, "but then +nobody wants me. I have no empty corner to fill." + +Arnold had been standing at the open window as he talked. He now +stepped out upon the balcony, and gazed with troubled brooding eyes +over the quiet square in front of his house. + +"I wonder," he said to himself, "whether I dare to hope that she might +fill mine." + +May had not been with them a week before her cousin, Captain Talbot, +discovered her, and came round to take her out. She was away the best +part of one day with him, and came back in very low spirits. + +Sara and she were dining alone that evening. Arnold was out. + +When they were in the drawing-room together after dinner, May said— + +"Aren't men tiresome, Sara? I think I must tell you. My cousin asked me +to marry him this afternoon. I have always been very fond of him as a +cousin, but nothing more. Now this spoils everything. I hoped to see a +good deal of him when I was up here. I have other relations, but they +are very gay; I never do care much for incessant amusement, and just +now, of course, I should not go anywhere. I had made up my mind that +Charlie and I would do several little quiet expeditions together, and +now that is all over. I have lost my cousin and my friend." + +"Don't you really care for him?" asked Sara, sympathetically. "I only +saw him that one evening, but I thought he seemed such a delightful +man." + +"Not as a husband. I know him too well. I feel very down to-night, +Sara. Will you sing to me? It is so desolate to be without a home, +isn't it? I feel I can never settle in town. It's far lonelier than the +country. I have absolutely no object in life. If only I had, I should +be happier." + +Sara got up to get her guitar. + +Then she sang very sweetly and softly— + + "I've been to the familiar places, + The dear old ways; + But there were no familiar faces + That met my gaze. + The green woods were too lonely, + I, there alone,—I only. + + "I climbed among the mountain ridges + Beyond the town, + And on its crowded streets and bridges + Looked sadly down. + The mountain was too lonely, + I stood alone,—I only. + + "But looking up, not down, Faith traces + A City Fair, + And sees the dear, familiar faces + That gather there; + None stand deserted, lonely, + Yet still my own,—mine only. + + "And strange! while gazing on that City + New life is found,— + My heart is filled with yearning pity + For men around. + I must not enter lonely, + Nor bring one,—one only. + + "I will go forth, to sinners telling + That Christ has come,— + I will go forth, by love compelling + The wanderers home; + Pointing the lost and lonely + To Christ alone,—Christ only!" * + + * S. L. F., _Lyra Christiana._ + +There was dead silence when the last note died away. + +May sat in a dusky corner of the drawing-room, and she was shading her +eyes with her hand. At last, she broke the silence. + +"I can't think where you get your songs from! You have one suitable for +every occasion." + +Her words were lightly spoken, but there was a little break in her +voice. Then in a gentler tone she added— + +"I do like that immensely, Sara; you live the last verse out, and +I'd like you to know that you haven't pointed in vain as far as I'm +concerned. But I can't imagine myself taking up that role; I know so +little, I am so ignorant. I only know that beneath all the loneliness +and sorrow, I have real deep peace and assurance that I belong to +Christ and that He loves me." + +"Dear May, the rest will follow. You need not try to teach before you +have learnt, but you will soon realize the compelling force of love. I +hoped that you were happier. But I waited till you felt you could tell +me about it." + +"It's intensely comforting," said May, slowly, "but oh, I have such a +longing for father. Sara, do you believe that we can hold no communion +with the dead upon this earth?" + +"Personally I don't believe God wishes us to do so, but may I tell +you what has been a tremendous comfort to me? A few years ago I lost +a very dear school friend. She and I were friends for many years, in +fact we wrote to each other every day. She married and went to India, +but we never stopped writing to each other. She helped me in spiritual +things more than any one else on earth. She died suddenly in India from +fever, and a blank came into my life. I found myself longing to tell +her things. And at last, I seemed to realize that it could not be wrong +when I was praying, to ask that God Himself, if He saw fit, would give +her a message from me, or let her know what I was so anxious she should +know. It is so perfectly easy for Him, is it not? And He loves to have +us pour out our hearts before Him. It must be the better way, rather +than resort to spiritualism as so many do. That, we know from the +Bible, is directly opposed to God's will. If, as we believe, our loved +ones are in God's keeping, surely we can ask Him to speak to them about +anything that we feel they would like to know. I feel that if it is +good for them to know it, they will be told, and if not, we must rest +content with God's will in the matter." + +"That's very interesting," said May, thoughtfully; then she added— + +"You always give me food for thought when we talk together. Now let me +give you an idea of mine. I should like to go and live in a settlement +in the East End for a short time. I should learn a good deal there—be +helped myself, and perhaps be able to help others." + +"I think it would be splendid for you, but I should like you to get +into the right kind of settlement. Some of them are so much more +helpful than others. Don't plunge in anywhere, will you? Let us make +inquiries together first." + +"Yes. I will not be in a hurry. You see, Sara, I am not like you. I +don't think I am sympathetic enough to have any personal influence +amongst people in my own class. I'm not very fond of girls, you know. I +like visiting the poor. I have always done it, and it comes natural to +me." + +Sara did not tell her friend that she would find the London poor rather +different to her father's country tenants. She knew that she must buy +her experience, but as they parted that night for bed, Sara put both +her hands on her shoulders, and said tenderly— + +"Dear May, I shall go to sleep very happy to-night. Doesn't it make +life fuller and deeper to you?" + +"Very much," said May, gravely. "You know I'm not a demonstrative +person, Sara, but I understand as I never understood before how it is +you are such a persistently happy person. And I can never thank you +enough for having shared your wonderful secret with me." + + + +CHAPTER IX + +A DAY OF SUNSHINE + +MAY soon found a settlement in which she promptly established herself. +She came to see Sara as often as she could. Once when she arrived +early in the afternoon, she found Sara out. So she betook herself +to the nursery. Little Oliver dearly loved a romp with her, and May +always had a bewitching way with children. She was in the midst of a +game with him, when the door opened and Arnold appeared. He looked his +astonishment. + +"I came up here to find Sara. I've had tickets for a private view of +pictures in Bond Street, and thought she would like to come with me. +The artist is a friend of mine." + +"She is out," said May, putting her hands up to her hair which Oliver +had loosened in his play. "I was very disappointed to find her gone, so +I came up here and Oliver is consoling me." + +"Would you like to come instead?" + +His tone was eager. + +May looked at him and considered. + +"How long will it take? I have only two hours off. I must be back at +half-past five." + +"Come along. We can do it." + +And off they went together, and when Sara came home, she was amused, +and rather pleased to hear it. It was not the last time that Arnold +took May about town. He gradually lapsed into a very happy comradeship +with her. And May accepted his attentions, but apparently took them as +she had taken her cousin's, and thought nothing of them. + + +In August, Sara took Oliver again to the farm; and there they stayed +for a couple of months. + +May was at the Hall for a part of the time; and it was a very enjoyable +time to all. Nellie Peel was a great deal with Sara. She was much +softer and sweeter in manner, and was full of the little one who was to +arrive two months later. + +Sara heard very often from Mrs. Laird. She seemed happy and well. True +was the delight of her heart. Sara wondered sometimes whether Graham +would ever want anything else in his life than he had at present. He as +well as his mother was devoted to his little stepdaughter. + + +Sara returned to town in the autumn, and May went back to her work. The +winter passed quietly and happily. + +Then one bright afternoon in April, Graham suddenly appeared upon the +scene again. Sara was just going out when he was announced. + +She welcomed him with her usual happy ease. + +"Now I am not going to keep you in this lovely day," he said at once. +"Have you an engagement?" + +"No, I was simply going out for the good of my health," said Sara. + +"Then may I come with you?" + +She assented, and after a little discussion, Graham hailed a taxi, and +they drove off to Kensington Gardens. Then they got out and walked. +The fresh green budding trees and the bright spring flowers were +always a keen delight to Sara, but to-day they seemed to be especially +exhilarating. She was hearing all the Dalby news. + +"I have found a house at last," said Graham. "It has only just become +vacant. A Colonel Dewar has been living in it. He commands the +district, and his time is up, and his successor, an unmarried man, is +going to live in barracks." + +"Do tell me what it is like. Is it in the country?" + +"Yes, close to the moor, but in a sheltered hollow, about a mile and +a half away from Jack Fleming. It is not exactly a pretty-looking +house. My mother says it is not. I never know what women do consider +attractive, but it has a delightful garden, and is enclosed with old +red brick walls, which are for the most part covered with fruit trees." + +"That sounds delicious. What does True say to it?" + +"She's in the seventh heaven of delight. She has planned out all the +rooms. Of course she has chosen one for you. She thinks the size of the +house no disadvantage, because she says the more rooms we have, the +more of our friends we can have to stay with us. The list of True's +friends grows alarmingly! And they are a cosmopolitan crew, from +dustmen and crossing sweepers to shopmen and policemen, and there isn't +a soul with whom we come in contact that True doesn't know. She has +their family histories at her finger ends!" + +"Dear little True! Now describe the house." + +"I have brought you a snapshot. It is a square red brick house covered +with creepers in the summer. I saw it for the first time in the autumn, +and the sun blinds were down over the windows, and I took a snapshot of +it then." + +"Shall we sit down here? It is so warm." + +They took a seat in a very secluded part of the gardens. Only happy +children's voices could be heard in the distance, and a far-away rumble +of traffic that might be the distant roar of the ocean waves. As they +sat there, the trees hid all houses, all disfiguring chimney pots, and +the birds were singing ecstatically in the branches. + +"We might be miles out of London," said Sara. "What a boon these +gardens are! Now may I see your snapshot? Oh, what a sweet old family +house! I should have lost my heart to it. It looks so truly comfortable +and cheerful." + +Then Graham wasted no more time. + +"I have my house, Sara, but unless you become its mistress, it will be +an empty house to me. I am venturing to speak to you again. Will you +give me a kind answer this time?" + +Sara did not look up. She understood now why the gardens had seemed so +full of sunshine to-day. And she knew that this moment was going to be +the most exquisite one of her life. + +She just put her hand over his, and said— + +"I feel I would do anything to make you happy." + +He held her hand tightly, and Sara could feel the throbbing of his +pulses. + +"Then you are going to give yourself to me for good and all? Look up. +Let me see your dear eyes." + +And as Sara raised her head, she saw that Graham's stern face was +illumined with radiance. + +"I can hardly believe my good fortune," he said. "You know my heart +has always been yours from the first day I saw you. I told Eva that. +I would not let her marry me under false pretences. At that time, I +felt you would never relent, that our paths would be apart all our +lives. But later, when in God's infinite goodness, He brought me to the +knowledge of Himself, I began to wonder whether in time I would speak +to you again. And your God is my God now, Sara. There will be nothing +between our spirits, and we shall have all eternity together." + +And then Sara's soft grey eyes suddenly filled with tears. + +"Oh, Graham, I had a hard time after I had sent you away. I can hardly +believe the long waiting time is over. It seems too good to be true. I +have had to stand aside, outside your life—when my heart and soul was +in it." + +Much more they said, and then slowly they retraced their steps home. + +Sara found that her brother had just come in, so she made Graham +accompany her to his smoking-room and they gave him their news +together. He was not surprised. + +"I knew I shouldn't keep her long when you arrived upon the scene last +spring. I only wonder you've taken so long to speak." + +But Sara knew that it was in honour of Eva's memory that Graham had +waited more than a year to come and claim her. + +He surprised her by his impatience now. + +"Why should we not get a special licence and be quietly married in town +within the next few days? There is nothing to wait for. We know each +other through and through. We have lived in the same house together for +over a year!" + +"I cannot do that," said Sara. "What is to become of my small nephew? +You do not realize that I shall be leaving my brother in a very awkward +position. Some women might not feel they could leave him. But I place +you and your wants before him. And I think that he will not be left +alone for very long. But there are many arrangements that I must make!" + +"Then will you do this? I have business that will keep me in town till +the end of the week. Will you come back with me to Dalby for a short +visit? Just to see the house, and give me an idea how you would like +it decorated and furnished. It is to be your home. You have a right to +advise and help me in making it beautiful for you. It will be such joy +to my mother to have you with her again as a visitor." + +"I think I might do that," said Sara, slowly, but light sprang into her +eyes as she spoke. She knew what a joy such a visit would be to her. +Then she added— + +"That is, if I can leave Arnold happy and comfortable without me. +I have the baby to think of, you know, but his nurse is a very +responsible steady person, and would manage perfectly without me for a +week or two." + +Arnold was quite willing to spare his sister. + +And so it came to pass that three days afterwards, Sara was journeying +up North with Graham. She wondered sometimes if she were dreaming. Her +happiness almost felt unreal in its intensity. Graham had not written +telling his mother that she was returning. It was Mrs. Laird's birthday +the following day, and he and Sara had planned her visit as a surprise. + +He and Sara had a compartment to themselves. And they had so much to +say to one another that Sara was quite sorry when the journey was over. + + +When they reached Dalby, Graham was told that his car was waiting for +him. They went outside the station, and there found True sitting up in +state on the front seat of the car. + +"Grannie said I might come and meet you, Dad. It seems years since you +went away." + +Then she caught sight of Sara, and screamed with delight. + +"She's going to be a birthday surprise to Grannie," said Graham. + +"Oh, how loverly! Oh, Miss Darling, let me hug you. What a birthday +Grannie will have! Have you brought your baby?" + +"No, he is staying at home helping to amuse his daddy," said Sara. +"Why, True, you are getting quite fat and rosy!" + +"Ah, you wait and see me when we live in the country!" said the child +dimpling with smiles. "All the wishes of my life are coming true. +It's almost as good as fairyland to me, that house is! There's an +orchard where a swing can be put, and there's a loft and woodshed and +henhouses, and a pond for ducks. And now you've come, couldn't we all +go and see the house to-morrow for a birthday treat for Grannie?" + +"I really think we might," said Graham. "We'll all take a holiday, +True." + +The child clapped her hands. Then she looked thoughtful. + +"Where are you going to hide Miss Darling till to-morrow morning? If +she's a birthday present, she mustn't be given to Grannie till then." + +"Do you think I ought to be made a parcel of?" asked Sara, laughing. +"Wrapped in brown paper and laid on the breakfast table?" + +True did not laugh. + +"There's only one person who could lift you in his arms and carry you, +if you were a parcel, and that is Daddy," she said gravely. + +And then Graham and Sara laughed out together. + +"No," said Graham, presently; "you and I will go and tell Grannie that +her birthday present is waiting outside the door. That it has come +overnight to be sure to be in time." + +"Yes, and Grannie will go outside and find her." + +True was quite excited in thinking about it. + +"My birthday present will be nothing," she said, "'nothing' after this. +I've got Grannie some coloured pockethandkerchers, Miss Darling. Three +lovely ones with pictures on them, there's a boat on a sea on one, and +a man grinding a organ on another, and a boy and a windmill on the +other, and I really don't know which I like the best of them!" + +"I'm sure Grannie will like them all," said Sara, comfortingly. + + +They reached the house. Sara looked at it with interest. Mrs. Laird had +never moved from her cousin's house, and Graham had come back to her +there. There was no garden in front. It faced the street, but it was +at the quiet end of the High Street, and most of the traffic was lower +down. The drawing-room was upstairs. + +True with delighted face crept upstairs on tiptoe. Graham and Sara +followed. + +Then Sara stayed outside in the long narrow passage, whilst the others +went into the room. + +They left the door ajar, and she heard Mrs. Laird's pleased welcome. +She also heard— + +"And did you see my dear Sara in town?" + +Then True's eager little voice— + +"And Daddy's brought you such a big birthday present, Grannie, that we +couldn't carry it in, and it's waiting for you outside the door." + +"Oh, Graham, you have not been wasting your money on me?" + +True burst into giggles of delight. She danced up and down. + +"Go and fetch it in, Grannie! Fetch it in quick, quick!" + +The door opened, and Mrs. Laird appeared with a puzzled smiling face. + +Then she and Sara were in each other's arms. + +"Oh, my dear! My dear! How I have prayed and longed for you!" + +She drew her in, and when True's excitement had subsided a little, she +was sent upstairs to tidy herself for tea. + +Then Graham drew near, and took Sara's hand in his. + +"She has only come for a very short visit now, mother, but she is going +to be your daughter, and coming to us for good and all very soon." + +And then Mrs. Laird was quite overcome, and began to wipe away the +tears of joy that were springing to her eyes. + +"I have felt lately that joy was coming to us," she said. "It has not +been only the lovely spring weather. I had a strange feeling that good +was on the way to us!" + +She sat down in her easy-chair, and held Sara by the hand as if she +could not let her go. + +"Oh, Sara, I have sometimes felt that life has been an effort without +you. How good God is to give you back to us!" + +"Dear Mrs. Laird," whispered Sara, "my heart has been with you all the +time." + +When tea came in, they talked in soberer fashion. Graham sketched out +plans for the next day. A picnic lunch was to be taken in the car, and +eaten in the house that was to become their home. Then they could have +leisure to look over it in every detail, and he would ask his builder +and decorator to come out in the afternoon and discuss all necessary +repairs and alterations. + +Mrs. Laird was as pleased as True with the prospect. Later on, she +carried off Sara to her bedroom, and there they sat and talked till +nearly dinnertime. + +"You are going to make my boy happy at last. If any one deserves you, +I consider he does. And oh, Sara dear, he has so softened since poor +Eva's death. I wonder if he has told you, as he did me, how it was her +pitiful appeals to him that made him marry her? At first, he was very +reticent about it, until one day when we were talking about you, I +said I feared you would consider that Eva had taken your place in his +affections. Then he said, with a hurt look in his eyes— + +"'Oh, mother, if you had seen her stabbed to the heart by a surgeon's +blunt truthfulness, if you had heard her sobs, and realized her +weakness and loneliness and dread of life, lived on without a soul to +cheer or speak to her, you wouldn't have wondered at my consent. She +was unnerved or she would not have let me see her heart. I knew it +would be but a very short time. I couldn't resist her appeals for help +and comfort. And though I felt afterwards that I might have made a +mistake, the time came when I saw that I had not.' + +"He really was led to see things differently, Sara, through reading the +Bible to his wife. You forgive him for that tragic marriage?" + +"Forgive him, dear Mrs. Laird? There is no forgiveness needed. It has +only shown me his chivalrous tenderness to a dying woman. He had no +thought for himself, only for her. I don't believe another man in the +world would have acted so!" + +That was a very happy evening. + +Sara was taken all over the house, and shown the wing which was devoted +to clubrooms and classrooms for the colliers and their wives and +children. + +She asked Graham what he thought of doing with the old house. + +"You will keep on the clubs and classes, will you not?" + +"Most emphatically. My idea is to keep the wing of this house exactly +as it stands, and put a caretaker into it. I can let off the private +part of the house very easily. You see we have a car, and whenever you +or my mother want to come into town, you can do so." + +Then Mrs. Laird said very quietly— + +"Of course we have not discussed everything yet. I am wondering if +you two had not better start your married life alone. A mother and +mother-in-law is not always a success in the house. And I have been +living alone until lately. I can do so again." + +Sara shot a quick look at Graham, who just smiled at her. + +"Dear Mrs. Laird," she said, slipping her hand into Mrs. Laird's arm, +"I will not marry Graham unless you live with us; and if you ask him, +he will say the same. We want the rest of your life to be a blaze of +sunshine. We do not want you to have the slightest shadow across your +path. It will be one of my joys to see you happy. We all love each +other so much, that our lives would be spoiled away from each other." + +"And True and I have chosen a lovely sunny room for Grannie's +sitting-room," said Graham; "so that when she wants quiet and rest, she +can have it." + +Then Mrs. Laird said, smiling through the tears that came so easily +this evening— + +"Don't you think that there will be rest and comfort wherever Sara is? +She has made our happiness in the past, and she wouldn't be Sara if she +does not make it still." + +Graham turned to Sara with a smile. + +"There!" he said. "Those are our sentiments. I can't add more, except +that it will be my part to take care of you, and to try to do it as +well as you take care of others!" + + + +CHAPTER X + +THEIR FUTURE HOME + +MRS. LAIRD'S birthday welcomed her with bright sunshine and a cloudless +blue sky. True was in her bedroom long before breakfast time, +presenting her wonderful handkerchiefs, and chattering gaily about the +delights in front of them. + +"Run away, chatterbox," said Mrs. Laird at length, "or Grannie will be +late for breakfast." + +"I'll go this very minute." + +But her hand on the door handle, she paused. + +"Isn't it a very comfortable feeling, Grannie, that Miss Darling is in +our house? I thought about it direckly I woke." + +"And that was Grannie's first thought too," said Mrs. Laird. + +The car came round very soon after breakfast. The luncheon basket +was packed in, plenty of rugs taken in case it might be chilly, and +then Mrs. Laird, Sara, and True were tucked up comfortably on the +broad seat together. Graham drove himself. They sped away through the +busy streets, past the collieries with their high shafts and smoky +surroundings, along a straight dusty road where the coal dust seemed to +begrime all the fresh green foliage of bush and tree. + +Then they climbed slowly a long, steep hill, and then had a wonderful +glimpse of the moor stretching away in flat marshes and gentle +undulations of heather-covered slopes. The air was fresh and pungent; +they passed a fir wood, then some coverts, and at last turned into a +real country lane which led them slowly down to some tall iron gates +flanked by a high brick wall. Through the gates they sped up a short +avenue of beeches, and then swept round before the old red brick house. + +Very sunny and homey it looked that morning. The lawn in front wanted +mowing, the flower-beds were untidy and overgrown, the drive beginning +to show weeds in great patches over it. But the house stood serene and +sweet. A white jasmine was just coming out and overhung the porch. +Japonica was framing the lower windows, and an ancient magnolia mounted +nearly to the roof on one side of the house. + +Graham had the keys, and unlocked the door himself as there was no +caretaker. + +The hall was broad and roomy, the oak staircase went up from it at the +back. There was a high dado of oak panelling round the hall. Out of it +on one side spread a long drawing-room with five windows. Behind it a +comfortable smoking-room overlooking a side Dutch garden with tiled +paths. On the other side of the hall was the dining-room, a similar +size to the drawing-room, with the same five windows, and behind +that a very pleasant morning-room which opened on one side into a +conservatory, and looked out at the back upon a rose garden. + +Sara was delighted with this room. + +"I know some people do not care to be in a room next to a conservatory, +but I love it. I remember we had a room at my old home like this, and I +remember as a child how I loved the scent of the heliotrope and lemon +verbena that grew in it." + +Then they went out and looked over the kitchen premises which were +rather extensive, but all in good repair. True was anxious to explore +the garden, but Graham said that Sara must see the rest of the house +first. The rooms on the next floor were all sunny and spacious. True +pointed out to Sara the one she had chosen for her. + +"You can see the dear little church and village between the hills out +of the window, and the moor is over there too. Don't you like it, Miss +Darling?" + +"I like every room that I see," said Sara, enthusiastically. + +And then they went to the room which had a western outlook, and which +Graham thought would suit his mother for a sitting-room. She said at +once how much she would like it. The top floor contained the nurseries, +and at the back some servants' rooms. True was delighted with the +nurseries, for they had been papered with a paper illustrating the +Nursery Rhymes, and in one corner cupboard she had found a headless +doll in an old wastepaper basket. + +Mrs. Laird looked about her with a soft, tremulous smile. She was +wondering if a few years hence, pattering feet and baby voices would be +heard up here from her sitting-room below. And Sara walked through the +rooms, her hand on Graham's arm, and her grey eyes misty with dreamy +hope. + +When the house was thoroughly explored, they went downstairs and +brought cushions and rugs in from the car and spread them in the sunny +drawing-room. Then the luncheon basket was unpacked, and they all did +justice to their meal. Afterwards, Mrs. Laird said she would like +to sit and rest there. Graham had found an old garden chair in the +conservatory, and he brought it in and tucked her up so comfortably in +it, that she had quite a long nap. Whilst she was resting, True was +scampering round the old garden, and Sara and Graham paced the paths +together. + +"Do you like our future home?" he asked her gently. "Knowing how fond +you were of the country and of a garden, I could not bear to think +of bringing you into a town house, and when I at last found this, it +seemed to fit you." + +"It is quite palatial," said Sara, laughing, "but I do like it very +much. I always think houses have their atmosphere, and I am sure this +must have had a happy one." + +"In any case you would soon make it a happy one," said Graham. "Shall I +ever forget your first few weeks at Felstone Corner? What a miserable +atmosphere you came into! An ugly house, comfortless rooms, rough +ignorant servants, my poor mother in the depths of woe, and a rough +surly silent man." + +"No," said Sara, quickly, "a weary sad, patient man, content to +think nothing of his own prospects and happiness, wholly absorbed in +ministering to the wants of his invalid mother. Before I had been a +week with you, I admired you from the bottom of my heart!" + +Graham shook his head, then went on— + +"What changes you wrought! How quietly you went to work, how slowly +but surely you brought sunshine into every dark corner of that house! +I don't know which time I loved best, the summer evenings when I came +home to find you in your cool white gown amongst your beloved flowers +tending and watering them with a look of love upon your face, or the +winter nights when I used to steal upstairs and see you sitting by +my mother's side in the firelight, with your guitar upon your knee, +singing those bewitchingly sweet little songs of yours. I was so afraid +that you would stop when you saw me that sometimes I used to slip out +of my boots at the bottom of the stairs and creep up noiselessly and +sit on the top stair outside my mother's room listening to all of it. +How did you manage to content yourself in those first miserable days?" + +"I was always hoping for better times," said Sara; "and I loved the +lake and the hills and the country. And when once your mother began to +get better, how happy I was!" + +"Would you like to go back there again?" asked Graham. + +Sara shook her head. + +"I don't think I should care to live there. It was a desolate bit of +country, wasn't it? Very beautiful, but no friends are there now. Do +you regret leaving it? Tell me truly, Graham. Does this town life suit +you?" + +"I am getting to enjoy the work. I understand the men much better, and +I think they are getting to understand me. And I see now the principles +which were the mainspring of my cousin's good works. I told you once, +Sara, that I would leave all the religious part of the work to you. I +don't want to do that now." + +Sara looked up at him with sweet earnestness. + +"What a difference that will make to me! Don't you see, Graham, that +having the same aim and object in life, you and I will be drawn much +nearer together than if you went your way and I mine?" + +"I see that you were right, as you always are, when you sent me away +from you." + +Then they wandered round the garden. The long sloping lawn in front +of the house, with its group of old cedars at the farthest end, the +herbaceous borders under the old brick walls, the rose garden, and +the small Dutch garden, and the winding walk through a shrubbery of +rhododendrons and azaleas, all were visited in turn. Sara felt as if +she were in a dream. Once Graham referred to her brother. + +"I pity him, when you have to leave him. What will he do?" + +Sara smiled. + +"He will console himself. He is very fond of May Agnew. I told you +about her, and his only fear is that she does not care for him, but +the other day I discovered that she did. And I quite understand men +marrying again. They become accustomed to women and cannot get on +without them." + +Then she stopped. + +"Don't think I am meaning anything personal." + +"I told you," said Graham, quietly, "that I considered my marriage an +interlude. You ought to have been my first and only wife, Sara. You +know that." + +Sara did not reply. She gazed over the old garden dreamily. + +Graham, seeing her sweet wrapt face, asked her to give him her thoughts. + +"I was resolving to make up to you, if I could, for all your lonely +barren years!" + +Graham caught her in his arms and kissed her. + +"One day with you now has more than compensated me for all those bygone +years," he said. + +And then they were interrupted by True, who wanted to show Sara a +squirrel up a tree. They did not get any more time alone, for the +builder arrived and business was done with him for the rest of the +afternoon. They all returned home in the car in time for tea, having +had a very enjoyable day. + + +In the evening, Mrs. Laird asked Sara to sing to them. She willingly +did so, and many of Mrs. Laird's old favourites were asked for. Then +just before Mrs. Laird went to bed she asked for the hymn that had +first touched and quickened her soul. Sara sang it sweetly and softly +as she always did, but with passionate warmth in some parts of it, and +Graham listened entranced. It had new meaning to him now. + + "'Souls of men, why will ye scatter + Like a crowd of frightened sheep? + Foolish hearts, why will ye wander + From a love so true and deep?'" + +When Sara had finished it, he said— + +"We shan't be able to let you go, Sara. I can't think how mother and I +have existed without you all this time." + +"When will you come back?" asked Mrs. Laird. + +"I am going to give her a month to get herself ready: no longer," said +Graham with determination. + +Sara looked up at him with a shake of the head. + +"Give me till June," she said, "the month of June! What do you say to +being married on Midsummer Day? Your builder said he could complete the +repairs and decorations by the beginning of June!" + +"It's too far off." + +"Time will soon remedy that." + +They finally settled upon Sara's date. + +Mrs. Laird retired to bed, and Sara and Graham were alone. + +A little bright fire was in the grate, as the evening was chilly. She +sat in a chair, in unconscious grace, her eyes dreamily and happily +gazing into the red-hot coals. Graham stood warming his back, his dark +eyes fixed upon her. + +Then he spoke slowly— + +"Sara darling, we must get away alone together. I love my mother and +I love the child, but I want you, and you only. I am selfish. I have +always had to see you and talk to you before others, now I want to have +you all to myself. I will not bring you to our home directly after +marriage. Where shall we go?" + +Sara looked up at him and smiled, but her heart beat quickly. + +"I want a honeymoon," he said. + +"Then," said Sara, "let us go back to Felstone, and see the lake once +more. I love it so. And I could see that poor old herb doctor again and +Agnes his daughter." + +"I would want you to see no one but me," said Graham. "I have never +been really with you—never told you half that is in my heart. We will +go back there if you wish. I don't care where it is, as long as we are +together. Do you think I shall make you happy, Sara? Or rather shall I +add to your happiness?" + +His tone was somewhat wistful. + +Sara rose from her seat. Then she turned towards him— + +"You have worked for the happiness of every woman you have come +across," she said with her soft laugh; "do you think that I shall be +your first failure? Oh, Graham, life has had its clouds as well as +sunshine, for both of us, but now that we belong to each other, I feel +that I can weather an eternity of storms if you are by my side." + +And then Graham held her in his strong arms, and was content. + + + + THE END + + + + ————————————————————————————— + PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BY + WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, LONDON AND BECCLES. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 79399 *** diff --git a/79399-h/79399-h.htm b/79399-h/79399-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3973938 --- /dev/null +++ b/79399-h/79399-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10637 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> + <meta charset="UTF-8"> + <title> + A Happy Woman, by Amy Le Feuvre │ Project Gutenberg + </title> + <link rel="icon" href="images/image001.jpg" type="image/cover"> + <style> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + font-size:12.0pt; + font-family:"Verdana"; +} + +p {text-indent: 2em;} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +h2 {font-size: 1.17em;} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: 33.5%; + margin-right: 33.5%; + clear: both; +} + +/* Images */ + +img { + max-width: 100%; + height: auto; +} + +.w100 { + width: auto + } + +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; + page-break-inside: avoid; + max-width: 100%; +} + +p.t1 {text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 125%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t2 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 150%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t3 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 100%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t3b { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 100%; + font-weight: bold; + text-align: center + } + +p.t4 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 80%; + text-align: center + } + +p.letter {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +p.poem { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + padding: 20px 0; + text-align: left; + width: 555px; + } + +p.footnote {text-indent: 0% ; + font-size: 90%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + + </style> +</head> + +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 79399 ***</div> + + +<p>Transcriber's notes: Unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed.</p> + +<p>New original cover art included with this eBook is granted to the +public domain.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image001" style="max-width: 33.8125em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image001.jpg" alt="image001"> +</figure> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image002" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image002.jpg" alt="image002"> +</figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>SHE HEARD A WHIZZ AND A HISS THROUGH</b><br> +<b>THE AIR, AND A SMALL COIL OF ROPE FELL</b><br> +<b>NEATLY INTO THE BOAT</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h1>A HAPPY WOMAN</h1> + +<p><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +BY<br> +</p> + +<p class="t1"> +AMY LE FEUVRE<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="t4"> +AUTHOR OF "TOMINA IN RETREAT," "THE MENDER,"<br> +"DUDLEY NAPIER'S DAUGHTERS," ETC., ETC.<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +<em>"The joy of the Lord is your strength"</em><br> +</p> + +<p><br><br></p> + +<p class="t4"> +LONDON<br> +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY<br> +</p> + +<p class="t4"> +4 BOUVERIE STREET, E.C.4<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t4"> +Made in Great Britain<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<pre> + OTHER BOOKS BY + + AMY LE FEUVRE + ————————————— + + A BIT OF ROUGH ROAD + BRIDGET'S QUARTER-DECK + THE CHISEL + A DAUGHTER OF THE SEA + THE DISCOVERY OF DAMARIS + HEATHER'S MISTRESS + HER HUSBAND'S PROPERTY + JOYCE AND THE RAMBLER + THE MENDER + ODD MADE EVEN + OLIVE TRACEY + TOMINA IN RETREAT + THE MAKING OF A WOMAN + THE CHATEAU BY THE LAKE + DWELL DEEP + ON THE EDGE OF A MOOR + THE CARVED CUPBOARD +</pre> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image003" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image003.jpg" alt="image003"> +</figure> + +<p class="t4"> +OF ALL BOOKSHOPS<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +TO<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="t1"> +MY SISTER CHARLOTTE<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t3b"> +CONTENTS<br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +BOOK I<br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>CHAPTER</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_1">I. HER BROTHER'S NEWS</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_2">II. AN UNCOMFORTABLE HOUSE</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_3">III. A ROW UPON THE LAKE</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_4">IV. SPRINGTIME</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_5">V. A DAY OUT</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_6">VI. THE SECRET TROUBLE</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_7">VII. THE INVALID IMPROVES</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_8">VIII. A MAN'S DETERMINATION</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_9">IX. A DIFFICULT MEETING</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_10">X. GRAHAM'S DEPARTURE</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_11">XI. A YOUNG VISITOR</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_12">XII. "TOO GOOD TO LAST"</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_13">XIII. COUSIN ANNA'S HEIR</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk1_Ch_14">XIV. A SUMMONS TO TOWN</a></p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +BOOK II<br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_1">I. A MOVE TO THE COUNTRY</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_2">II. UNWELCOME NEWS</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_3">III. MAKING FRIENDS</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_4">IV. GRAHAM AND HIS WIFE</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_5">V. TROUBLE AT THE HALL</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_6">VI. AN EVENING TALK</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_7">VII. TOWN LIFE AGAIN</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_8">VIII. GRAHAM'S VISIT</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_9">IX. A DAY OF SUNSHINE</a></p> +<p><a href="#Bk2_Ch_10">X. THEIR FUTURE HOME</a></p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t2"> +<b>A HAPPY WOMAN</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p class="t1"> +BOOK I<br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_1">CHAPTER I</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>HER BROTHER'S NEWS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE fire blazed away cheerfully in the grate, throwing flickers of +light across the dusky room.</p> + +<p>Sara sat in an easy-chair with her feet on the fender. There was a +quiet serenity and grace about her attitude; her needlework was upon +a small table by her side. Just now she was idle; her slender capable +hands were clasped in her lap, but her large heavily fringed grey eyes +were perplexed with busy anxious thought.</p> + +<p>Her surroundings, if not luxurious, were essentially cosy and +homelike. The carpet was a thick Turkey, the leather chairs and large +Chesterfield couch drawn up on the other side of the fire looked made +for comfort. There were two handsome bookcases, a piano, and a large +writing-table between two long narrow windows. But the sporting prints +on the walls, the pipe-racks over the chimney-piece, and the scent of +tobacco in the room were evidences that this was more of a man's room +than a woman's. And yet there were feminine touches in the gracefully +grouped flowers in glass bowls, and in the indescribable woman's +impress on it all.</p> + +<p>Sara herself was an attractive figure—not strictly beautiful, but she +had a bright lovable face, which changed perpetually from grave to +gay; a face that one learnt to watch with increasing interest, for it +mirrored a happy and beautiful soul. She had a way of twinkling her +eyes, and pulling down the corners of her mouth when she was amused, +and Sara had the gift of humour in no small degree. Now she was very +serious, and a wistful look had crept into her soft eyes.</p> + +<p>Outside there was a distant rumble and roar of motors and 'buses. +The street itself was a quiet one, taxis occasionally dashed past +the house, but there was a continual tramp on the pavement. In a few +minutes, she raised her head.</p> + +<p>A taxi had stopped at the door; she heard the click of a latchkey +inserted in the lock, for her door was open; then she heard voices and +steps coming along the hall. For an instant she rose from her chair, +and stood irresolute, then with a quick-caught breath, she reseated +herself. And the next moment a young man and a very pretty girl stood +before her.</p> + +<p>"Here we are, Sara! Give us your blessing!"</p> + +<p>Sara was on her feet again, she held out both hands to the girl; then +stooping, for she was fully a head the taller of the two, she kissed +her warmly.</p> + +<p>"We shall be sisters now, Milly. I am so very glad."</p> + +<p>"And so am I," said Milly, prettily. "I have always admired you so +much; and Arnold and I have been saying that you must always live with +us. I couldn't be happy if I felt that I was turning you out of your +home."</p> + +<p>Sara winced, then she laughed.</p> + +<p>"We need not talk about that," she said, "but I thank you for your +thought of me."</p> + +<p>Then Arnold drew the most comfortable chair towards the fire and seated +Milly in it.</p> + +<p>"We'll have tea down here, eh?" he asked. "Just as we do when we want +to be cosy."</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid Lacy has laid it in the drawing-room with unusual pomp and +splendour. You'll hurt her feelings dreadfully if you make her alter +her arrangements."</p> + +<p>Milly laughed.</p> + +<p>"You're always in such bondage to Lacy; now, in our house, our servants +do what we want; we don't do what they want!"</p> + +<p>Sara looked at the girl reflectively.</p> + +<p>"Yes," she said after a pause, "that's the orthodox way, of course, but +fifteen years of faithful service makes one's heart tender."</p> + +<p>"Oh, well," laughed Arnold, "let us come along up, then. It is in +honour of you, Milly, so we won't grieve the poor old soul!"</p> + +<p>They went upstairs into a pretty drawing-room. A sweet-faced elderly +woman was putting the finishing touches to a round table wheeled up to +the fire.</p> + +<p>"Here, Lacy, is the future Mrs. Arnold Darlington. Don't you think I'm +a lucky man?"</p> + +<p>Lacy looked up and almost made an old-fashioned curtsey.</p> + +<p>"I wish you both well, sir," she said sedately, but she did not look +overwhelmingly glad as she spoke.</p> + +<p>"I'm sure Lacy doesn't approve of me," said Milly, when the old servant +had left the room. "She never did, not from the first day I came to see +Sara here."</p> + +<p>Arnold laughed happily. Lacy's opinion was of small importance to him +at this present moment.</p> + +<p>Sara took her place at the tea-table, and talk flowed on in an easy +fashion. Milly was slightly excited by her new position, and full of +plans for the future.</p> + +<p>"We're going to be married next month," she announced. "We've talked it +all over and settled the day, and my dress, and everything. We've known +each other for two years, and there's nothing to wait for."</p> + +<p>"Nothing in the world," responded Arnold fervently; "and we're going +to make a flying visit to Paris, and then will settle in here straight +away."</p> + +<p>"You take my breath away with such rapidity," said Sara. "And what do +the parents say, Milly?"</p> + +<p>"Arnold is coming to dinner to-night, and then the whole thing will +be settled," said Milly, her eyes roving round the room as she spoke. +"Sara dear, don't you think the curtains rather shabby here? I love +blue in a room. Pale blue Roman satin would be lovely. What do you say, +Arnold?"</p> + +<p>"Anything you like," was the answer of the reckless lover. "I suppose +the house ought to be done up a bit. You'll see to that, eh, Sara?"</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Milly, eagerly, "you must let me have my say in it. I love +getting new furniture and having fresh paint and papers in a house."</p> + +<p>"Yes, it will be your right," said Sara, looking across at the girl +with a friendly smile; "and I can't promise to supervise things, for I +shall be away."</p> + +<p>"Away?" gasped Arnold. "Why, Sara, you've never left me. Where can you +go?"</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said Sara, with a laugh and mysterious nod. "That's 'my' secret!"</p> + +<p>Her brother looked at her wonderingly, but Milly claimed his attention. +She did not seem surprised by Sara's statement, and the young couple +did not stay long after tea.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Milly invited Sara to dinner that evening, but she declined the +invitation.</p> + +<p>"It will be better for Arnold to meet your parents alone," she said, +and she saw the relief in Milly's face as she spoke.</p> + +<p>When they had left the house, Sara walked downstairs again to the +smoking-room, and sat down at the writing-table to answer a letter +which had come by the morning post, and which had been in her thoughts +all the day. She sealed it and stamped it, then stood up, and clasping +her hands behind her neck, looked at herself in the low mirror over the +fireplace.</p> + +<p>"You're strong and comfortable looking," she murmured, giving her +reflection a little nod of approval, "not very young or flighty. And +you've learnt, or you ought to have learnt, to have an unlimited amount +of patience and forbearance to draw from when required. And you must +buck up and do what thousands of other women are doing, for you have +most assuredly burnt your boats behind you now."</p> + +<p>Then she added, with a sudden inspiration—</p> + +<p>"I'll run over and see Miss Grafton. I won't sit brooding and mooding, +and fermenting the feeling of injury and neglect!"</p> + +<p>To say was to do with her. She swiftly went upstairs to her bedroom, +and wrapping a fur cloak around her, sped down the stairs out into the +cold foggy street.</p> + +<p>Across the square, she knocked at a house in a terrace.</p> + +<p>The door was opened, and a minute later she was shaking hands with a +bright-faced little old lady upon an invalid couch.</p> + +<p>"My dear Sara! You whirl in like a fresh breeze. Isn't my room very +warm? My dragon will have the windows shut to-night! And the fire is +big enough to roast an ox. Now, what is your news?"</p> + +<p>"What I have expected for a long time. Arnold and Milly are engaged."</p> + +<p>"What fools young men can be!"</p> + +<p>"Now, don't be nasty. She really is devoted to him, and he to her. They +have a lot to learn, but they will learn it like every one else."</p> + +<p>"And when is the wedding coming off?"</p> + +<p>"Almost immediately. In a month's time. There is no reason why they +should wait. Arnold has a handsome income, and she, you know, has +plenty of money."</p> + +<p>"I hope we are not going to lose you."</p> + +<p>"In about three weeks," said Sara, slowly, "I shall be in the wilds of +Westmorland, living with a lonely widow in the capacity of a companion +and help."</p> + +<p>"My dear girl!"</p> + +<p>Little Miss Grafton looked genuinely shocked and disturbed.</p> + +<p>She cast her memory back to the day when the rising young barrister had +come to the opposite house to live with his sister. She had known their +old home in Berkshire; their father had been a small country squire +there. And Sara had hunted with him four days a week during the winter, +and had house-parties of young friends all the summer. She had paid +occasional visits to town after she had been presented at Court, and +had always had plenty of admirers amongst her friends. But since her +father's death, and the break-up of the old home, Sara had withdrawn +herself from much social gaiety.</p> + +<p>Mr. Darlington's affairs were found to be in a shocking state after +his death. The estate had to be sold to pay off the accumulated mass +of debts, and Sara came to live with her brother with only an income +of fifty pounds a year which had come to her through her mother. She +and her brother had been all in all to each other till the usual thing +happened. Millicent Conway had come into their lives; and Arnold had +quickly lost his heart to her.</p> + +<p>"But, my dear girl," said Miss Grafton, slowly, "is it necessary to cut +yourself aloof from your brother? Does he wish it?"</p> + +<p>"I am afraid I do." Sara's head was raised in the air, and a heightened +colour was in her cheeks. "It never does for sisters-in-law to live +together, and Milly and I have hardly a thought in common."</p> + +<p>"But 'anybody'—a shop girl—could become a companion help. It is really +a waste of material for you to sink to that. With your culture and +education you could do so much better. How did you hear of this?"</p> + +<p>"I saw the advertisement in the paper. It attracted me. I don't +know why. I have spent my days in taking care of a helpless man. +I shall miss my vocation if I do not take care of somebody. And I +wanted something at once. And though I answered other advertisements, +this was the only one that had a satisfactory result. She required +one reference, and my clergyman's proved quite sufficient. The +advertisement ran like this—I know it by heart—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'Wanted at once by lonely widow; a gentlewoman as companion, also +to help in light household duties. Must be patient, capable, and +resourceful.'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"I like the word 'resourceful,' don't you? There's an adventurous sound +in it! Well, I answered it, and this is the reply."</p> + +<p>She took a letter out of her pocket—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'Mrs. Laird has received Miss Darlington's application, and begs to +say that she requires a young woman of good birth to wait upon her, +as she is a great invalid. Her duties would be light, but though Mrs. +Laird keeps two indoor servants, she expects her companion to bring +her comfort and cheerful society. She does not wish a young or flighty +girl, and she wants some one who is good-tempered and forbearing. If +Miss Darlington is not happy in the country, she had better not come.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Miss Grafton gave a little laugh.</p> + +<p>"It does not sound an attractive post."</p> + +<p>"It does to me. I love making people happy and comfortable. And I want +hard things to tackle. I have been leading a very luxurious lazy life."</p> + +<p>"My dear Sara, you are always busy. You have a district and a Sunday +school class."</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>For an instant Sara's bright face shadowed.</p> + +<p>"I shall feel leaving them. But I am panting for a fuller life, Miss +Grafton. And my opportunity has come."</p> + +<p>"Shut up with a cranky invalid in desolate country," exclaimed Miss +Grafton. "You had much better come and live with me."</p> + +<p>Sara looked at her friend with tenderness in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"What would your dragon say?" she asked lightly. "No, Miss Grafton, you +are too happy and resourceful in yourself to need me. You have taught +me to be happy, I want to pass the teaching on. I don't know why my +heart goes out to the lonely and sad ones of the earth, but it does."</p> + +<p>"And what remuneration do you get for this post? That is, if you think +fit to tell me."</p> + +<p>"Forty pounds a year. A nice little addition to my income. I would have +gone if she had offered me twenty."</p> + +<p>There was silence. Then Miss Grafton said—</p> + +<p>"And what are Lacy's views?"</p> + +<p>"I have not told her yet."</p> + +<p>"Surely you have made all these arrangements very prematurely?"</p> + +<p>"I knew what was coming. I wanted to have my plans ready, because I +cannot stand any discussion and argument about a course which I am +determined to take."</p> + +<p>Miss Grafton gave a funny little shake of her head.</p> + +<p>"A stout heart, and a strong will, are more the characteristics of a +man than a woman."</p> + +<p>Then sudden tears came to Sara's eyes. She knelt down by Miss Grafton's +couch, and kissed her.</p> + +<p>"Oh, you don't know what a wave of homesickness and desolation has come +over me to-day. I'm so alone, so unwanted, a superfluous woman on the +face of the earth. If I can't comfort and help this lonely widow, I +don't know what to do next!"</p> + +<p>Miss Grafton looked at her with moisture in her eyes. Then she said +softly—</p> + +<p>"'The works that I do, shall ye do also.' And those works cannot soon +be finished."</p> + +<p>Sara got up.</p> + +<p>"I must go. And I know this is the time for your evening meal. Shall I +ever be such a little saint as you?"</p> + +<p>She left the room as a tall hard-featured maid entered, the maid who +had lived with Miss Grafton all her life, and who would have laid down +her life for her.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>When she got home, she went up to the smoking-room again. She had +letters to write, and accounts to make up, but she was not left long in +peace. Lacy came in to make up the fire, and lingered purposely.</p> + +<p>"May I speak to you, ma'am, please?"</p> + +<p>Sara wheeled round her chair.</p> + +<p>"Why, Lacy, what a lugubrious face! What is the matter?"</p> + +<p>"I'm only looking ahead, ma'am, and thinking of the time when a new +mistress will be head of this house. And if you will be going to make +your home elsewhere, I hope you'll take me with you. I've been with you +since you were ten years old, and I can't take to new ways and faces at +my time of life."</p> + +<p>"But, my dear Lacy, you know you dote upon Mr. Arnold, and he will be +the head of the house, not his wife. You must stay with him, you really +must. You look after his comforts like no one else, and I am going to +stay in a house where it would be impossible to have you."</p> + +<p>"But couldn't I be your maid, ma'am? You are going away. I guessed you +would. Ladies always take their maids with them on visits."</p> + +<p>Sara began to laugh at the idea of a "companion help" arriving with her +maid. And then she sobered down, and talked soothingly and persuasively +to Lacy, getting her to promise to think of making no change for the +present.</p> + +<p>When Lacy eventually left her, it was dinnertime. She dined alone, and +her thoughts were sad. She did not wait up for her brother's return, +which she usually did, but went early to bed. And so ended an eventful +day and epoch in Sara's life.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_2">CHAPTER II</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>AN UNCOMFORTABLE HOUSE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>IT was pitch dark. The air was cold and frosty. Sara wrapped her fur +coat tightly round her as she stepped out on a tiny platform of a +very deserted-looking railway station. One porter with an oil lamp +swinging in his hand went to the van to get her luggage. She had missed +a connecting train on her journey North, and instead of arriving at +her destination at six o'clock, had arrived three hours later. Very +weary she was, and yet cold and nipping as the air was, she welcomed +it gladly after the long hours of waiting in stuffy waiting-rooms with +coke fires, and being cooped up in carriages with fellow passengers who +insisted upon having the windows shut.</p> + +<p>"Is anybody or anything waiting for me?" she asked the porter.</p> + +<p>"Ay, there'll be a 'mon' outside," was the laconic reply.</p> + +<p>She groped her way through the tiny booking-office to the road beyond. +Through the darkness a high dog-cart with a restive horse could be +dimly seen.</p> + +<p>The driver raised his cap to her. In a few moments, she was perched up +by his side, and the porter hoisted up her luggage behind. Then they +set off at a smart canter along a hard frosty road.</p> + +<p>"Do you want another wrap?" the driver asked her.</p> + +<p>His voice was low and gruff, and Sara hardly caught the words.</p> + +<p>"I am quite warm, thank you. I hope I have not kept you waiting. I +missed my train at the junction. The London train was very late."</p> + +<p>"So I heard."</p> + +<p>The man's independence of manner made Sara resolve on silence. Up and +down hills, passing dark shadowy firs, then out on a lonely bit of +moor, and then they began to climb a steep, wild hillside. The darkness +began to lift; clouds rolled away, and a silvery moon appeared.</p> + +<p>Sara looked about her. The cold clear air exhilarated her. She saw +that they were climbing up round the side of a mountain, a deep ravine +fell away from them on one side; below was the gleam of a shining +winding river. Then suddenly they took a sharp turn, and Sara made an +exclamation of delight. Such a scene of surpassing beauty was before +her that she knew she would remember it for the rest of her life.</p> + +<p>The moon was shining across a lake. The bare brown branches of larches +and firs that bordered its banks were frosted, and looked like delicate +lacework against a silver sky; the hills on the farther side stood like +sentinels guarding a treasure. Wild and weird it was in the moonlight, +almost foreign with the wonderful woodland growth around it. Then a +flock of wild ducks flew across with their shrill cry, and owls hooted +as if in response to their appeal.</p> + +<p>Sara in her excitement touched the driver's arm.</p> + +<p>"Stop, just stop for a moment! I have never seen anything like this!"</p> + +<p>The driver pulled up without a word. In perfect silence Sara gazed +upon the scene below her. She felt as if she had been transported to +another world. The taciturn driver beside her, the steaming horse, the +flickering lights on either side of them from their lamps, and the calm +serene moon making a silver road across the rippling waters of the +lake. Was it only a few hours back that she had left foggy, bustling +London? It seemed impossible. She drew a long breath of enjoyment.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she cried impulsively, "I wish we could stay here for ever! It is +enchanting! Exquisite!"</p> + +<p>Then the driver spoke in tense, short tones.</p> + +<p>"The finest scenery in the world would never content a soul."</p> + +<p>"It would content mine!" said Sara.</p> + +<p>He whipped up the horse; a thick-wooded road soon hid the lake from +their view.</p> + +<p>And Sara began to ponder upon his tone and words.</p> + +<p>"A superior man," she mused, "possibly a friendly farmer. I will try +and find out who he is."</p> + +<p>Presently she asked—</p> + +<p>"How much farther is it? Where does Mrs. Laird live?"</p> + +<p>"We shall have to get round to the other side of the lake, about five +miles yet."</p> + +<p>"And are—are you in her employ?"</p> + +<p>How she could have asked the question Sara afterwards wondered.</p> + +<p>He answered shortly—"I am her son."</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon. It was very kind of you to come to meet me."</p> + +<p>He made no reply, and Sara relapsed into surprised silence. She asked +no more questions.</p> + +<p>Somehow she had imagined the "lonely widow" to be absolutely without +kith or kin. A son had not entered into her calculations. Soon they +began to go downhill, the road seemed interminable. Sara's back began +to ache, and she was conscious how very tired she was.</p> + +<p>When at last they stopped at a gate, she gave a long sigh of relief. +Her driver gave a peculiar whistle, and in a minute or two an old +man holding a lantern appeared. He opened the gate and walked by the +horse's head up a short drive. It was impossible to see any house. No +lights flickered in the windows. Sara stumbled down with cramped stiff +limbs; she was ushered into a gloomy entrance-hall. One dim and smoky +oil lamp hung from the middle of it.</p> + +<p>A door was pushed open, and Sara found herself in an untidy, +comfortless-looking room. The fire was dying out; the remains of a meal +were on the table. A brown collie rose from the hearthrug, and stuffed +his nose into his master's hand, then he inspected Sara, and after +sniffing all round her, returned to his former position.</p> + +<p>Mr. Laird made an exclamation under his breath, then he strode across +the passage. And Sara heard him say in a peremptory fashion—</p> + +<p>"Where is Mrs. Thwaites? Is there no supper? Do you know the fire is +out? Come and light it at once."</p> + +<p>Then an untidy sleepy-looking girl appeared at the door with an armful +of kindlings. Mr. Laird followed her and said—</p> + +<p>"Will you excuse me, Miss Darlington? I must go up to my mother. She +will not settle to sleep until she has seen me."</p> + +<p>Then he disappeared. Sara threw off her fur cloak, and with it her +weary languor.</p> + +<p>"We are very late," she said to the girl. "I suppose you had given up +expecting us. What is your name?"</p> + +<p>"Izzie. Yes, miss, I dropped right off to sleep. I was up soon after +four this morning. And Mrs. Thwaites went off to bed. She had the +toothache cruel."</p> + +<p>"Now I'll light up that fire. Can you bring us any supper? Is there a +kettle boiling?"</p> + +<p>Down on her knees went Sara, and with some coaxing, and the bellows +to assist, she soon had a cheerful blaze. Izzie left the room, and +returned with a cold ham, a currant loaf, and a hot steak pie, the +latter very much burnt.</p> + +<p>Sara saw her clapping the things down on the table, not attempting to +clear the plates and dishes that were already there.</p> + +<p>"'Twas Mr. Pitt, he came in, and brought two other gen'man to see the +cows what are goin' to be sold," said Izzie in a grumbling tone. "And +I meant to have washed up, but I sot down and went bang off, and never +woke till master called!"</p> + +<p>"Well, look here," said Sara with some spirit; "you go straight off to +bed. I'll see to everything. Run along. It's much too late for you to +be up."</p> + +<p>Izzie looked surprised and delighted.</p> + +<p>"Won't master scold?"</p> + +<p>"No. I will be responsible. Run along."</p> + +<p>The girl went.</p> + +<p>"And now the help begins her work!" murmured Sara to herself.</p> + +<p>She was roused to energetic action. The untidy room had definitely +called to her. Within an incredibly short time, she had swept and +tidied up the hearth, cleared away all the dirty dishes, and laid +the table according to her notions of fitness. She put loose books +into the bookcases, hung upon the pegs in the hall two coats and a +fishing-basket. Then she went into the kitchen, and foraged about till +she found some coffee. The kettles were boiling; she boiled some milk, +made some coffee, and was in the act of putting it upon the table, when +Mr. Laird came back.</p> + +<p>He looked surprised at the altered aspect of the room, and for a moment +he and Sara confronted each other. Both found food for thought in their +respective looks. Sara, in her well-cut tailor brown serge gown, her +soft dark hair coiled loosely over her head, and her bright smiling +face, seemed to have brought already with her a sense of comfort and +cheeriness that had been lacking in this house for many a long day.</p> + +<p>Mr. Laird was an enigma to her. He was a thin wiry man, not very young, +and yet, now his thick overcoat was off, looked alert and singularly +upright. His close-cropped head of hair was already streaked with grey +at the temples. He was dressed in rough, well-cut tweeds, and his +hands—Sara found herself glancing at them were well kept, and those +of a gentleman. If she had seen him in London like this, she would +have taken him for a thorough man about town, he had no signs of a +country rustic in his look or bearing. But when she caught his gaze, +she started, for the look of weary sadness in his eyes she had never +witnessed in a man's face before.</p> + +<p>The house appeared to be a second-rate farmhouse. The man was a +well-born, fastidious gentleman.</p> + +<p>"I am sorry you should have had such a poor welcome," he said, "but +this is how we live. Mrs. Thwaites and Izzie run the house, and they +are both incompetent but good-tempered and faithful."</p> + +<p>"I have sent the poor girl to bed, and Mrs. Thwaites has toothache. You +see, I have begun to interfere already. Do you like coffee? There is +some here."</p> + +<p>They drew their chairs up to the table, and for a few moments there was +silence between them. Sara was really hungry, and the hot coffee warmed +and comforted her. She felt now ready for anything, though it was just +eleven o'clock, and she had been travelling since eight o'clock in the +morning.</p> + +<p>"Will Mrs. Laird want to see me to-night?"</p> + +<p>"Oh no. She has settled off to sleep now. Your room is next to hers, +but she will not disturb you. I am sorry—I ought to have shown you your +room."</p> + +<p>"It does not matter," said Sara, smiling; "I have found my way to the +kitchen, and refreshed myself with some hot water there. Now may I ask +if your mother is ill?"</p> + +<p>"She has had great sorrow in her life," said Mr. Laird slowly; "it +has preyed upon her mind, and she needs rousing, but she will not be +managed—I warn you of that."</p> + +<p>"Is she always upstairs, or does she come about the house?"</p> + +<p>"She was downstairs last year, but caught a bad chill the beginning of +this winter, and has been afraid to venture out of her room since."</p> + +<p>Sara looked sober. She wondered if she were going to spend all her time +shut up in a close and airless bedroom.</p> + +<p>Mr. Laird caught her look, and said—</p> + +<p>"I think I had better tell you that six young women have come and gone +during this winter."</p> + +<p>Sara gave a little nod.</p> + +<p>"You want to put me on my mettle," she said, "but I am not superior to +the average woman. If I can help or comfort your mother in the least +degree, I will stay. If I cannot, I shall give way to another, who may +be more successful."</p> + +<p>No more was said. But after their meal was over, Sara insisted upon +clearing the table. At first Mr. Laird offered to help, but she saw he +was unaccustomed to do it, and she said—</p> + +<p>"This is woman's work."</p> + +<p>"We have two servants," he said; "leave it to them."</p> + +<p>"Is this the only sitting-room?" Sara asked.</p> + +<p>"There is another one, but it is rarely used. I eat and drink and smoke +here—and read when I can."</p> + +<p>"Do smoke now. I am accustomed to sit in my brother's smoking-den."</p> + +<p>"If you don't object, I will."</p> + +<p>He took out his pipe, and sat in the big leather armchair by the fire. +His eyes watched her quick deft movements.</p> + +<p>"I always think a room is so uncomfortable with the food left about," +she said; "and I am sure Izzie will be thankful to have it done for +her."</p> + +<p>She took out the plates and dishes into the kitchen. Then with a few +touches, she gave the room a tidy, comfortable look.</p> + +<p>"Now I will say good night. Don't trouble to come upstairs. I shall +find my way."</p> + +<p>But he insisted upon showing her the way to her room. It faced the +staircase, and was fairly large and comfortable, though the cold was +intense. She noticed a door which evidently led into Mrs. Laird's room, +but it was closed. Just for a moment she felt a wave of homesickness +come over her. She would have given worlds then to find herself in her +own luxurious room, with a blazing fire, and Lacy waiting upon her.</p> + +<p>"When to-morrow comes, I shall feel more comfortable," she assured +herself.</p> + +<p>And kneeling down by her bedside, she held communion with the Master +she loved and served.</p> + +<p>Sleep came to her quickly, and she did not wake till Izzie appeared the +next morning with a large can of hot water and a cup of tea.</p> + +<p>"Me and Mrs. Thwaites were having ours, and I thought I'd bring you +one, because you cleared away the supper last night for me," Izzie said +gratefully.</p> + +<p>"That's very kind of you," said Sara.</p> + +<p>She drank her tea, then slipped on her warm dressing-gown and looked +out of her window. It was grey and cold, the house evidently stood +on an easy slope. At the bottom of a small lawn was a belt of firs, +beyond them a steep descent of wood and undergrowth, and then the lake +stretched away calm and still. The hills in the distance were shrouded +with the morning mist.</p> + +<p>Then her eyes travelled inwards round her room. Her small bed faced the +window, which was broad and low and had a deep window-seat. On one side +was her dressing-table, on the other a writing-table, against which was +drawn up a cushioned wicker chair. There was a curious old-fashioned +bureau in one corner of the room, the upper half of which held some +books behind glass doors.</p> + +<p>Sara inspected these and found them chiefly to consist of theological +and religious works, and a few volumes of Scott's poems. Two of +Dickens's stories were the only books of fiction there. Thick crimson +serge curtains hung from the window, and a crimson drugget was under +foot. The furniture was of good old-fashioned mahogany, the pictures on +the walls were of the early Victorian type.</p> + +<p>"If I had a fire," she thought, "I should be thoroughly comfortable! +But if it remains as cold as this, I shall not stay longer in my +bedroom than I can help."</p> + +<p>She dressed herself quickly, longing to get out of doors and explore.</p> + +<p>Though she had been a Londoner for some years, she had a passionate +love for the country. The sense of quiet free space outside, the +absence of any noise except the twittering of birds, and soughing of +the wind in the trees, filled her soul with delight. It took her memory +back to mornings like this when she had ridden with her father after +the hounds, when the fresh keen morning air came to her like nectar, +and sent the blood rushing through her veins, till she felt ready to do +and dare anything. She came to breakfast with bright eyes.</p> + +<p>Mr. Laird hardly looked at her, he seemed absorbed in thought. And they +had a very silent meal together.</p> + +<p>Sara was feasting her soul upon the view through the low casement +windows. The sun was struggling through dense masses of grey woolly +clouds, and touching the distant hills with streaks of light and +shadow. Then blue sky appeared and reflected itself in the lake below.</p> + +<p>"Oh," thought Sara with joy, "what will it be like when summer is here?"</p> + +<p>Mr. Laird, moving from the table, was almost startled by her vivid +brightness.</p> + +<p>"You have not seen my mother yet?"</p> + +<p>"No, I am waiting till she sends for me.</p> + +<p>"She likes her breakfast taken to her after we have finished ours. She +will tell you the order of things. I shall be out all day to-day and +shall not be home till six or seven."</p> + +<p>Sara thought that his comings and goings would be a matter of +indifference to her. She felt that he considered her an inferior sort +of being to himself, and she rather resented it.</p> + +<p>Taking his hint, she went out to the kitchens and asked for Mrs. +Laird's breakfast tray. Mrs. Thwaites, a fat untidy-looking woman, +looked up.</p> + +<p>"You're the new young lady," she said with a little wheezy sigh. "They +come in streams and generally leave before their month. And I'm fair +sick of telling where everything be! The tray's over there, and the +bread and butter on that table. She'll like a bit of toast made. You +can do that off the dining-room fire, and I'll poach an egg and throw +in a bit of bacon. She takes tea, and you get the cups and saucers from +the chiny pantry on the left of you."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>About ten minutes later Sara climbed the stairs, tray in hand. She +knocked at the bedroom door next hers, and then opened it. She was +agreeably surprised by the size of the room. Two big windows faced her. +There was a fire in the grate. A big four-post bed stood on one side. +There was a round table with a green cloth in the middle of the room +on which was piled a number of books and papers. And in an easy-chair +by the fire in a warm wrapper sat Mrs. Laird. Her hair was white, +her complexion sallow, and her eyes dark and restless. Yet she was a +handsome woman still, and bore the impress of a gentlewoman. Sara met +her sharp keen gaze with great serenity.</p> + +<p>"Good morning, Mrs. Laird. I hope I am not late with your breakfast, +but the first morning, things are strange to me."</p> + +<p>She had with her quick eyes seen a small round table by the bedside +upon which she placed the tray, then lifted it in front of the invalid.</p> + +<p>"You look strong enough," said Mrs. Laird. "That is one of their +excuses, their health suffers from the climate. I am weary of seeing +fresh faces. The young ones make love to my son; the old ones complain +that the loneliness of this place gets upon their nerves. What will be +your excuse, I wonder."</p> + +<p>"To get away?" queried Sara, with a little laugh. "Oh, I shall go if I +can't do you any good—if I can't make you happy!"</p> + +<p>"Happy!"</p> + +<p>There was unutterable scorn in the tone.</p> + +<p>"Do you think I have engaged you to make me happy? Nobody in the wide +world could do that. Happiness and I are as far apart as the North is +from the South. What could my son have written to make you imagine such +a thing?"</p> + +<p>"I did not know the letter I received was from Mr. Laird, I thought +it was from yourself," said Sara with surprise. She reminded herself +of the "comfort and cheerful society" she was expected to bring, but +wisely said no more.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird looked at her breakfast with an invalid's querulousness.</p> + +<p>"I don't feel inclined for anything, but you can leave me now. There is +a bunch of keys over there. Go down to the kitchen and give out from +the store cupboard the stores that will be needed for the day. I never +leave the stores unlocked. It will be in your charge, and you must +replenish the things as needed.</p> + +<p>"Consult with Mrs. Thwaites about meals. I want you to undertake the +housekeeping; she is a very fair cook, but has no head, and prefers to +carry out orders given to her. I will ring when I want you. And you +will have to look after Izzie, she is lazy and careless and not very +clean, but she is Mrs. Thwaites's niece, and an orphan, so we keep her +on."</p> + +<p>Sara departed, glad to have some details of what she was required +to do. And she found a good deal to employ both head and hands that +morning. She went up later to help Mrs. Laird dress, and then she read +the newspaper to her, but she could not persuade her to leave her room.</p> + +<p>In the afternoon, Mrs. Laird had a nap, and for an hour Sara was off +duty. She escaped from the house, and made acquaintance with the garden +and small farmyard attached to it. Old Samuel, the one outdoor servant +kept, was groom and gardener and general farm help. He gave her one +bit of information, and that was that Mr. Laird was agent for a very +big property that lay on the other side of the lake belonging to a Sir +Malcolm Ferris.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Mr. Laird came home about half-past six that day. He took off his +outdoor boots, and then, tired as he was, slipped softly up to his +mother's room.</p> + +<p>A strange sound and sight awaited him. The room was in firelight; +his mother sat back in the shadow of a screen placed between her and +the fire. Seated on a low chair in the firelight was Sara, a guitar +was slung round her neck. The scarlet ribbon made a bright spot of +colour. She wore a very simple black velvet gown, but the lace collar +and sleeves were of old Mecklin lace, and she was singing in a sweet +contralto some simple little pathetic songs. There was a rich lilt in +Sara's voice that appealed to all who heard her sing. She had the gift +of bringing to her audience both tears and laughter.</p> + +<p>She was finishing a song now, and her tone was softly gay.</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"So boy and girl sat side by side<br> + Their differences forgotten,<br> + For life is short, and time is sweet<br> + When first love is begotten."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>She laid down her guitar as she finished her little song.</p> + +<p>"We are having some music," she said brightly.</p> + +<p>"So I hear," said Mr. Laird, with great gravity, and Sara slipped out +of the room.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_3">CHAPTER III</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A ROW UPON THE LAKE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>WHEN mother and son were alone, Mrs. Laird said fretfully—</p> + +<p>"She's a very new broom! But they all begin so well."</p> + +<p>Her son shook his head. There was an amused gleam in his eye.</p> + +<p>"No, mother; three have informed me the first morning at breakfast that +it was not what they expected. She has not done that yet. What a pretty +voice she has!"</p> + +<p>"So she seems to think herself. She insisted upon my listening to her. +But so far I must say she knows how to bring the sense of comfort and +order with her. Do you notice how tidy my room is? She wants me to go +into her room to-morrow, whilst she and Izzie have a clean out. She is +full of energy and reform, but it won't last."</p> + +<p>"She has brought you a pretty nosegay of red berries and leaves."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but they give me no pleasure."</p> + +<p>A heavy sigh followed.</p> + +<p>Mother and son had half an hour's chat together. Then a tempting little +supper-tray appeared. Sara brought it. And when a quarter of an hour +later, she came to the dining-room, she found Mr. Laird ready for his +evening meal.</p> + +<p>He had lost his touch of reserve. Both of them chatted together in an +easy unembarrassed manner. Then when Izzie came in and removed the +cloth, Mr. Laird took out his pipe. And when she had left the room, he +said—</p> + +<p>"I wish you could try to get my mother downstairs, Miss Darlington. +There is no reason why she should not venture. The change of atmosphere +would do her good."</p> + +<p>"She speaks as if it were impossible. She seems to imagine she might be +worried with visitors. Have you any?"</p> + +<p>"You can imagine not many!"</p> + +<p>"Is there any real reason why Mrs. Laird should not meet people?"</p> + +<p>He took his pipe out of his mouth, and looked at her. Was this +audacity, or the result of a keen observation, he wondered. He had +never had such a question put to him before.</p> + +<p>Sara quietly waited for his reply.</p> + +<p>"Why do you ask such a question?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Because I want to help your mother. I see she has something on her +mind; is it a delusion? I was singing a little song of a tiny girl's +talk with her mother about her dead father, and she stopped me with +agony of tone and gesture—</p> + +<p>"'Never mention a girl child to me!' she cried. 'For one moment I +thought I was free from the haunting thought of her!'</p> + +<p>"'I am sorry,' I said.</p> + +<p>"'Sorry!' she cried. 'You sang that song on purpose! You are cruel! Do +you think my punishment is not already greater than I can bear?'</p> + +<p>"Then she saw my astonishment, and said no more."</p> + +<p>"My mother has grown morbid," Mr. Laird said slowly. "She has had a +great sorrow. I have told you so. You must bear patiently with her, and +try to get her from thinking too much."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said Sara. "That is a hard task. But I will do my best. And now I +think it is time I went up to her. I shall stay with her till she is in +bed; so I shall not come down again. Good night."</p> + +<p>Mr. Laird sprang up, held open the door for her, and when she had gone, +tumbled back into his seat again.</p> + +<p>"She is angry, because I won't tell her," he muttered. "Well, there is +plenty of time. I've never told any of her predecessors. But she is +different to any of them. Can't think why she takes such a post. It's +like old times—to see a woman of that sort opposite one at table."</p> + +<p>Upstairs Sara was finding Mrs. Laird difficult to please. She was very +irritable, and nothing that Sara did was right.</p> + +<p>"I'm tired of trying to train young women to my ways. It's only +Graham's whim that I should have some one about me. Now, don't hurry +me. I suppose you are like the rest of them, wanting to get down and +make yourself pleasant to him."</p> + +<p>For one moment an angry spark shot from Sara's eyes, then she said with +extreme quietness—</p> + +<p>"I wished Mr. Laird good night before I came up. You must not say such +things to me, Mrs. Laird, not until I deserve them. I have been too +much accustomed to men to take any special notice of your son. If we +are to live happily together, you must believe that I am single woman +by choice, and am far too content to be such to ever wish to try to +alter my state."</p> + +<p>"One of these rampant suffragettes, I suppose!"</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, laughing; "I emphatically am not one of them. And now +will you let me brush your hair?"</p> + +<p>She talked away quite pleasantly. Her gentle deft ways soothed the old +lady. When she was comfortably in bed enjoying what her son called her +"nightcap," Sara said—</p> + +<p>"Would you like me to read you the evening Psalms before I leave you?"</p> + +<p>"Why should you? I burnt my Bible and Prayer-book long ago, and all the +pious books which I possessed. I am not a hypocrite, and if there is a +God, He has treated me so inhumanly that I never wish to see His Face."</p> + +<p>Sara was shocked, but she did not expostulate.</p> + +<p>"I have my Prayer-book in the next room; please let me read to you."</p> + +<p>She opened the door into her room, and came back with the book in her +hand.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird said no more. In a soft, reverent voice Sara read the +evening Psalms. She made no comment on them, and Mrs. Laird did not +speak again.</p> + +<p>Then Sara went to her room, and occupied her time by writing a letter +to her brother.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAREST ARNOLD,<br> +<br> + "Here I am as far from town seemingly as Kamschatka is! But oh, the +beauty of the scene from my window! I have just had a peep out. Do you +know we're in the heart of the lake country, a lake is down below me +framed with blue hills, and the moon is on it now, and the hoar frost +makes the woods like fairyland! My dear boy, don't give me a pitying +thought. All my desires and hopes and energies and machinations are +centred in an old lady, who is in the next room to me. I am going to be +her physician, nurse, and friend, all rolled into one.<br> +<br> + "You know how I adore old people, so rest assured I am having a good +time. I am given 'carte blanche' to manage her household, and I have +two very good-natured and inefficient servants to deal with. We live +in a solid square granite house, but it has its redeeming points, +mullioned windows, oak beams across the lower rooms, and is a genuine +fourteenth-century manor house.<br> +<br> + "Mrs. Laird's son, who lives with her, is agent to a big landowner +near us. They are gentle-people, and I am at present quite content with +my enterprise. Good-bye, old boy. I know you live in the clouds, but +Millie will be with you, and I hope that Lacy makes you comfortable.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 10.5em;">"Ever your own sister,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 21em;">"SARA."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>She sat for a moment after writing this letter with her cheek in her +hand. Her eyes grew very soft and tender.</p> + +<p>"A soured embittered sorrowful woman," she said to herself, "and more +behind than I am allowed to know. How I hope I may bring her comfort!"</p> + +<p>Comfort of body Sara certainly did bring her employer from the moment +she entered the house. In a few days, her room was a picture of dainty +freshness.</p> + +<p>The whole house was the better for Sara's presence. She did not scold +Izzie for her untidiness and want of thoroughness in her cleaning. She +simply tidied and cleaned herself, until from very shame Izzie learnt +to do better.</p> + +<p>Every evening when dusk fell, Sara played and sang to Mrs. Laird. But +she always laid aside her guitar when Graham Laird entered the room.</p> + +<p>She did not know that he often crept up quietly and sat on the top +stair of the old staircase outside, listening for some time before he +opened the door.</p> + +<p>Except at meal times, they did not meet much; and Mrs. Laird was quite +content that it should be so. Sara read to her and talked to her, and +Sara was a very good talker. She had travelled, and had met a good +many interesting people. She produced some easy fancy-work which she +persuaded Mrs. Laird to work at. She herself began to make chintz +covers for the shabby couch and chairs in the bedroom.</p> + +<p>Shopping by post was a new experience to Mrs. Laird; she began to take +interest in the patterns and parcels, and was almost bright whilst +opening and discussing them. But Sara soon found her black moods of +gloom more frequent, as she became accustomed to her. There were days +when she would not utter one word, and when she could with the greatest +difficulty be persuaded upon to take her meals.</p> + +<p>"Why should I eat?" she exclaimed suddenly one day. "Why should I try +to prolong my miserable life? Am I of any use to any one in the whole +wide world? Would not Graham shut up the house with glee and go back to +his former world feeling like an escaped prisoner if I were only out of +the way? Prisoner! It is I who ought to be a prisoner. I should have +felt better had they made me suffer as I deserved!"</p> + +<p>Sara found the best way was to ignore such speeches as these, but they +made her think.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>One afternoon she found her way down to the lake. It was a still bright +day in February. To her surprise, she came upon a boat lightly tied to +a post outside a boathouse. She had often rowed on the Thames with her +brother, and seeing the calm stillness of the water, a longing seized +her to go out in it.</p> + +<p>The boat was swaying up and down, the gentle lap of the water against +its sides seemed to invite to her to venture. In another moment, she +had lightly jumped in, unmoored it, and taking the oars, began to row +out with long easy strokes.</p> + +<p>She was absolutely happy, and gave herself up to the enjoyment of +her surroundings. Exercise kept her warm, and the hills with their +wonderful lights and shadows reaching down to the water's edge +fascinated her. Time slipped away, and then suddenly she was aware of a +hoarse shout in the distance.</p> + +<p>She pulled round and saw two men calling to her from the shore. For a +moment she felt guilty, and imagined that she had no right to be in the +boat. Then she looked up and saw a thick roll of black cloud coming +towards her from over the hills. At the same moment, a sudden wind bore +down upon the lake, and in a few minutes more the waves were tossing +her up and down in sudden fury.</p> + +<p>She set her teeth, and turned back in the direction of the shore. She +had heard of these sudden squalls that swept across inland lakes, and +knew she would need all her wits and strength to return in safety.</p> + +<p>Happily the wind was driving her in the direction she wished to go, but +occasionally it would veer round, and to her excited imagination seemed +like some demon determined to upset her. The boat tossed up and down as +if it were on an angry sea. Waves began to wash over the boat and into +it, and at last one broke over her.</p> + +<p>Drenched to the skin, she shipped her oars, then felt under the seat, +and to her relief found a big can, with which she instantly began to +bale out the water. When she could, she took up her oars again. Twice +she thought she was going to be upset. Still, she laboured at her +rowing. The shore seemed to recede instead of becoming nearer. Her +hands were blistered, her breath came in great gasps. Gradually her +strength began to fail her. But Sara's will was strong, and she would +not give in to being beaten.</p> + +<p>She saw the men watching her anxiously; one had a rope ready to fling, +and that gave her fresh courage. As she slowly approached them, she +heard a whizz and a hiss through the air, and a small coil of rope fell +neatly into the boat. She saw that one man had got hold of the other +end. Without any hesitation she made her end of it fast to the painter. +A sense of security came to her, but she did not slacken in her rowing, +and though the waves were now dashing into the boat, she did not stop +to bale out the water.</p> + +<p>And at last, she came to shore driving her boat with a dash against the +rough stone pier. The next moment she was being helped out of it by +Graham Laird, and she sank exhausted to the ground. Another man was by +Graham's side, and it was he who spoke first—</p> + +<p>"Now, don't have hysterics! Don't spoil your courage! I couldn't have +fought through better myself, and Graham and I are accustomed to +squalls!"</p> + +<p>Sara looked up a little indignantly—</p> + +<p>"I am only breathless. You must have mercy!"</p> + +<p>Graham said nothing, he was occupied in fastening the boat to its +moorings. When his task was done, Sara was able to get upon her feet.</p> + +<p>He looked at her.</p> + +<p>"The quicker you get home the better, for you are drenched. It's a +mercy we caught sight of you before you had gone too far out! If you +had asked me, I would have warned you against trusting the weather +to-day. I had better introduce my friend, Colonel Fleming, to you."</p> + +<p>Sara looked at Colonel Fleming with a little laugh.</p> + +<p>He was a square, sturdily built man, with fair hair and blonde +moustache, his face was tanned with an outdoor life, and when Sara +laughed, his eyes twinkled.</p> + +<p>"Have you been accustomed to hysterical women?" she asked. "I am not +one of them. I'm afraid I took out the boat on the impulse of the +moment. I did not know or care who owned it. These wilds make one do +and dare anything!"</p> + +<p>She turned and made her way up the little lane which led to the house. +The men accompanied her, but as they reached the hall door, Graham +turned into the yard to see to something.</p> + +<p>"I am coming in for some tea," said Colonel Fleming; "I hope you are +going to give it to us. Graham Laird and I are very old chums. I moved +up here to be near him. I'm farming my own land—about three miles off, +that's all. You haven't been here long?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara with reserve, feeling that Colonel Fleming was oddly +communicative. "You will excuse me, I must change my wet things."</p> + +<p>"Of course, of course. Hope you won't take cold. I'm quite at home. +Don't mind me."</p> + +<p>Sara vanished upstairs. She was feeling shivery and shaken by her +experience. But when she had got into dry clothes, she felt better, and +went into Mrs. Laird's room before going down to tea. She told her of +her misadventures, for she always tried to give the invalid all details +of her walks abroad.</p> + +<p>When Mrs. Laird heard that Colonel Fleming was downstairs, she said—</p> + +<p>"That man is too ridiculous in his adoration for Graham. He worries him +to death by always hanging round."</p> + +<p>"I thought they were friends."</p> + +<p>"So they are, or were, but you can have too much of a good thing."</p> + +<p>"Hasn't he a wife?"</p> + +<p>"He had, but he had to divorce her. I am thankful we have no wives in +the neighborhood. I never have a visitor; and if one did come, I should +not see them. Go downstairs and give those men their tea, and then come +up to me again."</p> + +<p>So Sara went down in her russet-brown serge gown. Her pink colour and +bright eyes made her look unusually fresh and girlish.</p> + +<p>"You are evidently none the worse for your wetting," said Colonel +Fleming. "Do you know that several rash boatmen have been drowned in a +squall like the one we had this afternoon?"</p> + +<p>"I will profit by my experience," said Sara, sedately, "and not venture +boating again until the weather is settled."</p> + +<p>"Tell me when you want to use the boat," said Graham; "and then I shall +be able to tell you whether it is safe to venture. Storms sweep down +very suddenly from our hills."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I was ignorant and foolhardy," acknowledged Sara, "but how +delicious it was down there before the storm came on! You seem framed +in a little world all to yourself, I loved it!"</p> + +<p>"How strange is the variety of human nature!" said Colonel Fleming. "I +should be bored to death unless I were fishing. To row aimlessly about +in a boat would be dull work to me. No object in it!"</p> + +<p>"You are a sportsman, I suppose?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose I am, though I pride myself on being a working man now, +don't I, Graham?"</p> + +<p>They talked away; Graham Laird showing himself in quite a different +light as he and his friend discussed things together. He was brighter +and keener than Sara had ever seen him before. Then a message came to +him from his mother through Izzie saying that she wanted to see him at +once. He left his tea unfinished, as he promptly obeyed the summons.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming gave his head a comical little shake as he looked +across at Sara.</p> + +<p>"A man of one idea, he is. It's just his mother. Awfully good son, +isn't he?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," assented Sara.</p> + +<p>"So glad you're a cheerful soul. He wants cheering in this hole! +Personally I believe in cheerfulness—it's essential to body and soul. +I'm a bit of a philosopher in my way. I've knocked about in different +parts of the world, and gone under the hammer as I call it, and +I've learnt this much, that one is bound to be hammered sooner or +later—beaten gold, you know! And bad though the time may be, it passes. +It is bound to pass. The trick is to extract as much enjoyment as you +can. Get the honey out of the dead carcase, like that chap in the +Bible—Samson, wasn't his name? That's what I tell Graham.</p> + +<p>"He's been under the hammer, Miss Darlington, for fifteen years, some +of the best years of his life, and his mother, poor soul, is likely to +give him a good many more years of it still. But he's got to clench +his teeth and be cheerful. I keep him at it! We did some game shooting +when we were out in India together. Did you know he was in the woods +and forests there? A good appointment, but he chucked it and came home +directly his mother was in trouble. And having been boss over a pretty +big district, things go hard with him now when he has to knuckle under +to one of these petty chiefs as I call them. Not that Malcolm Ferris is +a bad chap, but he has rather a swelled head, and imagines his agent a +bailiff."</p> + +<p>He paused for breath. Sara looked thoughtful. Then he went on—</p> + +<p>"So cheer up the old lady, Miss Darlington, and you will cheer him up. +It's his dark time, but it will pass—as I say—it will pass."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Sara, with shining eyes, "and if we remember Who wields the +hammer as you call it, we ought to do more than simply endure it!"</p> + +<p>"Quite so—my old mother—bless her soul—taught me these things when I +was a boy, soaked me in them—and they've all come back. I've lived to +see them come true. Get him to church, Miss Darlington. It's only three +miles off, quite a nice walk. And the parson's a friend of mine, lives +his religion out—you know what I mean?"</p> + +<p>They heard Graham's approaching step. Colonel Fleming nodded at her.</p> + +<p>"Thought you were a good woman. Do your job thoroughly, and you'll have +the thanks of two people for it!"</p> + +<p>Sara wondered what he meant. Her heart warmed to this short sturdy +little man. She felt glad she knew him. Though he was plain in +features, there was something extremely attractive in his happy eyes +and cheerful voice.</p> + +<p>And when she went up to Mrs. Laird's room, she carried with her +an extra amount of cheeriness. She was stimulated afresh to bring +happiness to this lonely woman. But she very naturally wished to know +what was the nature of her trouble, and how it had taken such complete +and masterful possession of her spirit.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_4">CHAPTER IV</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>SPRINGTIME</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE first Sunday had been so wet that there was no question of church.</p> + +<p>The next week Sara asked at breakfast how far the church was.</p> + +<p>"I should like to go, if I may. It doesn't seem Sunday to me without +church."</p> + +<p>"To tell you the truth, I never like the horse out on Sunday. I give +him one day's rest a week, poor brute! I work him pretty hard the +remaining six."</p> + +<p>"But I'm a good walker, and should enjoy it."</p> + +<p>"You would lose your way, unless you went round by the road, and that +would be a good five miles. It's barely three across the hills."</p> + +<p>"I suppose you wouldn't be able to come too, to show me the way?"</p> + +<p>In another woman this might have been coquetry. But Sara was so frank +and straightforward in everything she said and did that Graham knew she +simply meant what she said.</p> + +<p>"I might possibly," he said, "but I generally sit with my mother on +Sunday morning."</p> + +<p>"Then never mind. Give me a few directions, and I will find my way. But +I should like to go."</p> + +<p>An hour later Sara, wrapped in her thick tweed coat and skirt and furs, +was ready to start. Graham joined her in the hall. She saw he had +changed into a navy blue suit.</p> + +<p>He gave a short little laugh as he met her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I haven't done this for many a year, but my mother has spared me, and +I'll sit with her this afternoon instead. Now then, we shall have to +step out."</p> + +<p>They skirted the grounds, then turned their back to the lake, and +before very long were treading a rough sheep-track over the hills. The +air was fresh and bracing, and the sun was shining.</p> + +<p>Sara's firm easy tread showed that she was, as she said, a good walker.</p> + +<p>"I have been walking-tours with my brother. I love it."</p> + +<p>"How did you know we had a church near us?"</p> + +<p>"Colonel Fleming mentioned it."</p> + +<p>"I guessed as much."</p> + +<p>There was amusement in his tone.</p> + +<p>"Fleming is a queer fellow. He's the last man in the world whom I +should have counted on making a good farmer, but he's quite enamoured +with his farm, and isn't doing badly."</p> + +<p>"I should think he has a happy nature," said Sara, slowly.</p> + +<p>"He's been through trouble. His wife ran off with another man. It was +very dreadful, and the affair has left its mark on him. He's a born +optimist, that's what he is! And he likes to take a hand in everything +going. You'll see him reading the lessons in this small church—he's a +good Churchman."</p> + +<p>"I love to see people take their troubles courageously," said Sara. "It +sends the same thrill through me that gallant fighting does against a +superior foe."</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid you have not much sympathy for my poor mother, then. She is +one of the crushed ones on the earth. Life is very hard on some."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I was not thinking of your mother, indeed I was not! Of course I +do not know her trouble, but she is physically weak in body, and that +always tells against one."</p> + +<p>"Do you think you will be able to stay with her?"</p> + +<p>"I will stay as long as she wants me," said Sara, quietly.</p> + +<p>"I don't feel like giving my mother away to any one who is here to-day +and gone to-morrow, but she seems to have taken an extraordinary liking +to you."</p> + +<p>He smiled a little, and added—</p> + +<p>"She told me to come with you this morning.</p> + +<p>"'I want her to settle down with us,' she said, 'and she won't do it +unless she finds a church. I know her sort!'</p> + +<p>"So I'm to show you the way to-day, and then you can have every Sunday +morning for church-going!"</p> + +<p>"That's very kind of her," said Sara, with twinkling eyes. She wondered +if Mrs. Laird's secret was to be disclosed, but Graham seemed purposely +to wander from the point.</p> + +<p>Then Sara said very gravely—</p> + +<p>"Your mother is right, Mr. Laird, I could not be happy here if I never +went to church. It helps the spiritual part of one's life so much."</p> + +<p>"I have no spiritual part in my composition," said Graham, lightly; "so +it doesn't trouble me. I believe in God as our Creator, but then I take +it that He shows Himself in all His works, and doesn't require to be +imprisoned in a small building to reveal Himself to His creatures."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I know some people believe they can worship by themselves +anywhere, but I can't. The Bible teaches one differently."</p> + +<p>"Do you see that small village tucked away down there?" said Graham, +pointing in front of them to a valley in the indentation of two hills. +"That is Torry Fell, where our church is, and also the nearest shops. +Now look over that line of hills, do you see the smoke rising from +furnaces? That is our nearest town. Have you ever lived so far-away, +before, from all human beings?"</p> + +<p>"No. I do not think I have, but it is a very pleasant change from +London. I am country bred and born, so no wonder my heart goes back to +it."</p> + +<p>She added after a little silence—</p> + +<p>"I think I shall often come up on these hills. I love the short springy +turf, and the boulders of rock with their crannies full of moss and +fern and stonecrop. I suppose the heather comes out in the summer?"</p> + +<p>"There is not much on this hill, but even here it is dangerous, so +don't be too venturesome. Mists come on suddenly, and so do storms. +The lake must have taught you that. It's easy to miss one's way, and +there's a sharp side to most of these hills, where rocks and precipices +abound."</p> + +<p>"I suppose shepherds live on them. What is that odd-looking little hut +tucked under that overhanging rock?"</p> + +<p>"We won't go past it. Old Reuben Cleave lives there with his daughter. +He's a herb doctor—the country folk have great faith in him, and some +of them come tramping out here from the town. He's a queer old man—seen +better days, I fancy. Some say he went through a medical course at one +time."</p> + +<p>"How desolate for his daughter!"</p> + +<p>"She's close on fifty, and lame. They're happy enough. I lend her books +occasionally, but they have a great dislike to strangers, especially +ladies. People do get queer when they live much alone. I'm inclined to +myself. Fleming considers he helps to keep me sane."</p> + +<p>"But you have work," said Sara, feeling touched by this little bit of +confidence; "nobody need be dull or lonely when they have work to do."</p> + +<p>"That's true."</p> + +<p>He caught his breath.</p> + +<p>"That's where my mother is at a disadvantage."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Sara, briskly, "she and I are going to be very busy. We have +just started making rugs. We shall surprise you by our industry soon."</p> + +<p>"I congratulate you. When the warmer weather comes, you must get her +out. I'm a great believer in fresh air."</p> + +<p>"She seems to have a terrible shrinking from it," said Sara.</p> + +<p>"Yes, every winter she gets worse. But I hope you'll overcome her +dislike."</p> + +<p>They tramped along. Then they wound their steps down to Torry Fell, and +arrived at the church just as the bell had stopped tolling.</p> + +<p>It was a small grey stone building, and had a very fair congregation of +working people in it.</p> + +<p>One sweet-faced woman sat with two children on each side of her, and +Sara rightly conjectured her to be the vicar's wife. The service was +simple and hearty. Colonel Fleming read the lessons and the vicar +preached a sermon on the text, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God."</p> + +<p>He was an earnest and eloquent preacher. The "first thing" in life was +his theme, and when the service was over and Colonel Fleming joined +them in the churchyard, Graham said—</p> + +<p>"I like your parson. He's a man. A pity there are not a few more like +him."</p> + +<p>"There are plenty of them," said the cheerful little Colonel, "only +they're scattered broadcast over the world, and the heathen get some of +the best. Well, Miss Darlington, haven't you enjoyed the walk? I wish +my house was on your way, I'd ask you in to have some refreshment, but +I'm a mile and a half away in the other direction."</p> + +<p>"I came to show Miss Darlington the way," said Graham.</p> + +<p>"Hope you'll show her it another Sunday," said Colonel Fleming.</p> + +<p>Graham made a slight movement of dissent.</p> + +<p>And after a little further talk, he and Sara returned home over the +hills. They had a very silent walk back. Sara was quite happy in +following her own thoughts.</p> + +<p>She started, when Graham said at length—</p> + +<p>"You look very happy. I'm afraid I'm rather unsociable, I have grown +so."</p> + +<p>"Why should we talk if we have nothing to say?" said Sara, laughing. +"Yes, I am happy; the sun and air are delicious. We have been brought +a little nearer our unseen Kingdom this morning, and I haven't a care +in the world! I am glad when I am away from your mother to be able to +bottle up the outside sunshine and take some of it back with me to her +room."</p> + +<p>Then seeing a shadow fall over his face at the mention of his mother, +she added—</p> + +<p>"And I am looking forward to the spring so! I feel sure I shall be able +to get her out. And then she will be brighter, I know."</p> + +<p>"It's to be hoped she will."</p> + +<p>When they reached home, they found Mrs. Laird plunged into one of her +moods of gloom. Not even the company of her son that afternoon removed +it. Sara pitied him when she went upstairs to relieve him, for he +looked careworn and sad, but he was always very silent when his mother +was extra difficult to deal with, and Sara wisely left him alone.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next day Mrs. Laird was a little brighter.</p> + +<p>Sara generally had an hour's walk in the afternoon. When she came back, +Izzie met her in the hall in floods of tears, and when asked what was +the matter said the "Missis" had been so angry with her that she had +terrified her.</p> + +<p>"She rang her bell, and I went up and put more coals on the fire, and +I some'ow stumbled, and caught hold of the manty shelf, and a little +chiny cup and saucer fell off, and broke into smithereens! She got up +out of her chair and sweared at me, and raised her stick to strike at +me. I never seed nobody in such a fury before! She said 'twas the only +things she vallied in the 'ouse. And I telled her I were sorry, but +'twas no good. And then she began to shake and tremble, and then she +give me notice to leave, and I've just comed downstairs!"</p> + +<p>Sara tried to cheer the girl by telling her she would intercede for +her. And then she went upstairs and found Mrs. Laird leaning back in +her chair, looking very white and exhausted.</p> + +<p>She looked up at Sara when she came in, and her eyes were full of a +haunting horror.</p> + +<p>"I've broken out again!" she said, with a pitiful little cry. "After +fifteen years and an eternity of remorse, I find my temper is not yet +under my control. It's just a chance you didn't come in and find Izzie +stretched dead at my feet. I nearly struck her, but I remembered—oh, I +remembered!"</p> + +<p>Sara hardly knew what to say or do. She just knelt down and kissed the +worn and haggard face.</p> + +<p>"Never mind!" she said soothingly. "Izzie is unhurt, and we all lose +our tempers sometimes. What was it she broke?"</p> + +<p>"It was the last thing Dorrie gave me—her last birthday present. And it +is destroyed. I suppose even the comfort of that is to be denied to me! +Oh, I wish I could die, and end it all."</p> + +<p>"I wish you would tell me your trouble," said Sara, softly, "and then +we could talk about it together, and see if some comfort could not be +had."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird shook her head. Her brief fit of passion had left her quite +exhausted.</p> + +<p>Sara left her, and soon returned with a tray on which a dainty little +tea had been laid. Mrs. Laird needed some coaxing before she took +anything, but she was persuaded to eat at last, and felt much better +after it.</p> + +<p>Then Sara had to go downstairs and comfort Izzie. Mrs. Thwaites was the +only unruffled one. Nothing ever upset her equanimity.</p> + +<p>"If Izzie did get sharp speaking, 'twill do her good. She's never had a +stick broken across her back, like my feyther did to all of us when we +were children."</p> + +<p>When Graham came home, Sara said nothing to him about the small tempest +that had arisen, but she fancied his mother must have done so, as he +was peculiarly silent and absorbed during the evening meal.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Two or three evenings afterwards, Sara was reading the evening Psalms +as usual, when for the first time, Mrs. Laird made a comment upon them.</p> + +<p>"I wonder you're so fond of those Psalms. They're simply Eastern songs +of hate or love."</p> + +<p>"Oh no, no," said Sara, eagerly and earnestly. "They may have been sung +in the Temple worship, but they were the heartfelt experience of one +of the Saints. He poured out his soul in them. I think the one golden +thread that runs through them is the unswerving trust and confidence +in God. David had a terribly sad and difficult life, and he made many +mistakes, but his faith never failed, and God was in all his thoughts."</p> + +<p>"David never sinned beyond forgiveness."</p> + +<p>"None of us can do that, but he did sin grievously. Look how he killed +a man because he coveted his wife!"</p> + +<p>"He never killed him with his own hands," said Mrs. Laird, quickly and +feverishly. "He had no blood-stain upon 'his' hands."</p> + +<p>"I think the way he did it was as bad as it could be, for he acted like +a coward, but he repented and was forgiven."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird shook her head rather sadly.</p> + +<p>"Sin brings its own punishment," she said. "It is more than a life for +a life; that would be easy to bear."</p> + +<p>Sara puzzled over these remarks. But for the time she remained +unenlightened.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The short days now began to lengthen; the bare brown branches of the +trees swelled with bud. In the garden, a few straggling daffodils +peeped out through the long grass. Sara asked if she might take the +garden in hand.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming came in one afternoon, and found her struggling with an +overgrown flower-bed, now a mass of thistles and weeds.</p> + +<p>"That is man's work," he said, shaking hands with her.</p> + +<p>Sara laughed, and took off her straw hat, fanning her heated face with +it.</p> + +<p>"It isn't Samuel's work. I have as good a muscle in my right arm as he +has any day! He told me so yesterday—</p> + +<p>"'The horse and the trap and the 'arness and the cattle, not to speak +of the yards and sheds, and the vegetables to be tilled, is mor'en I +shall manage; flowers is ladies' fancies. If so be as they wants to +grow 'em, why, let 'em do it, says I!'</p> + +<p>"So I'm doing it, you see!"</p> + +<p>"I could send you round a boy who lives at my gate," said the Colonel. +"His mother is looking out for a job for him. Say the word and I will +do it."</p> + +<p>"But I can't do that. I am neither the master nor mistress here."</p> + +<p>"You can do anything you like in this house, I'm pretty sure!"</p> + +<p>Sara shook her head, and Graham joining them at this moment was +appealed to by his friend.</p> + +<p>"Of course if you can send round a lad, I shall be delighted for Miss +Darlington to set him to work. The fact is, I haven't cared for the +garden, and I've let it go. Boy labour is scarce about here."</p> + +<p>"Come over and see him yourself, Miss Darlington," said Colonel +Fleming. "I'll give you tea."</p> + +<p>"Thank you, but I must be here at tea-time. Mrs. Laird expects me to +be. But I could walk over very early in the afternoon if necessary."</p> + +<p>"It isn't necessary at all," Graham said, shortly. "Send him along, +Jack, we'll try him."</p> + +<p>So Ted Cranley appeared the next day, and worked steadily in the flower +garden under Sara's superintendence, until order and beauty reigned +instead of chaos. Sara sent for flower seeds, she talked to Mrs. Laird +about the flower garden she meant to have.</p> + +<p>"And then you will be able to come down and help me enjoy the flowers," +she said to her.</p> + +<p>"No, I cannot leave my room."</p> + +<p>"You don't know what you'll be able to do when the warmer weather +comes. I want to row you out in a boat upon the lake. Don't look so +startled! It's exquisite down there. You have no idea of all the +beautiful places round about you."</p> + +<p>"I came to this wild spot because I needed a refuge," said Mrs. Laird +very solemnly. "I wished to bury myself from everybody and everything."</p> + +<p>"But you choose a most exquisite refuge," persisted Sara; "and you can +be as much alone out of doors as you can indoors. You wait and see."</p> + +<p>She worked away cheerfully in her garden.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Graham found her in it when he came home, and she was generally singing +softly to herself. He stood and watched her one day.</p> + +<p>She was pruning a rosebush, and she sang as she worked—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"All day I wear a flowery crown,<br> + Flowers, only flowers:<br> + At night by flowers I lay me down,<br> + Oh, the sunny hours!<br> + Breath of angels, hues of heaven,<br> + Surely to the flowers are given,<br> + Bring more flowers."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"I do believe you are happy here!" he said.</p> + +<p>She turned, pruning scissors in hand, for she did not know he was near.</p> + +<p>"Of course I am," she said. "Why should I not be? And the feeling of +spring in the air makes all our pulses beat quicker, and our hearts +throb with hope."</p> + +<p>"I believe it does," he returned; and there was a light in his eye and +a spring in his tread as he went on into the house.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_5">CHAPTER V</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A DAY OUT</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"DOES a companion ever have a 'day out'?"</p> + +<p>This astonishing question was put to Graham the next morning by Sara +herself.</p> + +<p>His startled look made her laugh.</p> + +<p>"I was wondering," she went on. "Izzie had her day out last week. It +made me want to go too."</p> + +<p>"Are you in such bondage, then?" Graham asked. "You know you have only +to express a wish to have it granted."</p> + +<p>"That's nicely put. But I never want to get away from my position. +And if I am not entitled to a day, I won't ask for it. Did any of my +predecessors have a day out?"</p> + +<p>Graham's eyes twinkled.</p> + +<p>"I must think," he said; "the one who stayed longest did. She insisted +upon coming my rounds with me one day in the dog-cart. We had lunch +with Jack Fleming. Would you like to do the same?"</p> + +<p>"No, thank you," said Sara, laughing. "When I go, you won't set eyes on +me from breakfast to nightfall, I want to have my fill of the hills one +day, and to feel that I have leisure to enjoy them, instead of hurrying +back."</p> + +<p>"What did you do in London when you could never gratify such longing?"</p> + +<p>"I used sometimes to run away from my brother," Sara confessed. "I have +picknicked by myself in Richmond Park, and in Kew Gardens, and had a +delicious time."</p> + +<p>"You must choose a day when the mists are not about. I have told you +that our hills hold dangers."</p> + +<p>"I shall be very cautious, I promise you. My only doubt is whether your +mother can spare me."</p> + +<p>"I will ask her to do so. I am sure she will."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>So it came to pass that one lovely spring morning, Sara set out with +a book, a stout stick in her hand, and a packet of sandwiches in her +pocket. A feeling of exhilaration was in her soul. There was a crisp +freshness in the air, and a warmth in the sun, which sent her on her +way rejoicing.</p> + +<p>When she got out on the hills with the soft springy turf underfoot, +and saw the gorse in full bloom, and watched the upward flight of many +larks carolling their way towards heaven, she forgot all the anxious +thoughts about her poor depressed invalid, and lifted her face in joy +at being alive. One companion she had with her, and that was Graham's +collie, "Snooks." Snooks had attached himself with great pertinacity to +Sara. He laid in wait for her when she came out of the house, and would +trot round the garden after her watching all her performances with the +greatest interest. Now he, like herself, was ecstatic with the sense +of freedom. He bounded here and there, pursued imaginary rabbits, and +barked at the larks.</p> + +<p>Sara let him roam unhindered by whistle or calls; she tramped steadily +upward, and at length turned to look about her. The beauty of the scene +below made her determine to have a rest, so that she would have time to +enjoy it. She lay down on the soft turf and gazed dreamily before her. +In the distance was the lake, looking a brilliant blue this morning, +with deep purple shadows on the farther side where the young larches +lined the banks in their fresh shimmering dress of green. As she +looked, a tiny boat with a white sail shot out from the shore, and took +its way across the calm still water, leaving a streak of silver light +behind it. From this height she could see behind the trees the towers +of Sir Malcolm Ferris's house, and green valleys running up from the +side of the lake through a break in the hills. She caught sight of the +high white road through the pines which she had driven along that first +night of her arrival. And then her thoughts centred on Mrs. Laird.</p> + +<p>"She could be so happy," she mused; "she has an affectionate son, and a +comfortable home, and she has no pains and aches to speak of. Whatever +she has done, and I expect it is extreme morbidness that makes her +think she has done anything, she could have the peace of forgiveness +resting upon her soul, for I am sure her repentance and remorse has +been lasting enough. How I wish she would confide in me! If I only knew +more, I could help her more. I should love to have her up here with me +now. What a world of good it would do her!"</p> + +<p>Sara turned over on her side, the smell of the hot gorse with its +peculiar fragrance came to her, bees buzzed busily round. In the +distance, she heard the sheep bleating to each other. Then her thoughts +began to get hazy. In the warmth of the sun, she slept.</p> + +<p>She awoke with a start. Somebody was prodding her with the end of an +umbrella. She rubbed her eyes, then sat up. An elderly lady in blue +goggles and a big brown straw hat tied down with a veil was standing +by her. The stranger was in short tweed skirt, and had a tin box slung +over her shoulder. She was now leaning on a stout green umbrella, and +she gave a little grunt when Sara rose to her feet.</p> + +<p>"What are you thinking of to go to sleep upon the grass at this time of +year? Are you trying to court rheumatism and ague, and sciatica, and +all the rest of it?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, smiling. "I own I have been unwise, but I was so +comfortable."</p> + +<p>"I thought you'd had a fit at least, seeing you in that ridiculous +position on the ground."</p> + +<p>Sara looked round for Snooks. He was nowhere to be seen.</p> + +<p>"Have you seen a brown collie?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"Of course I have. He was trying to court disaster too, chasing birds +amongst the rocks. I tried to call him off, but he refused to come. He +may get a tumble if he doesn't take care."</p> + +<p>"I must go and find him."</p> + +<p>"Do you know our hills? You look a stranger. I think I had better come +with you. I am out botanizing."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Sara, meekly. "I am a stranger. I am staying with +Mrs. Laird."</p> + +<p>The old lady took off her goggles and gazed at Sara with a pair of +bright brown eyes.</p> + +<p>"A relative, I presume?"</p> + +<p>"No, a companion," said Sara with a smile; "and I am having a day out. +Isn't it delicious up here?"</p> + +<p>"I'm Kate Ferris. I come occasionally to stay with my nephew, he is +down here now, and always invites me to the Towers in the spring. I +sit and read and write and knit all the winter in my rooms in town. +When the first breath of spring comes, I'm in the country to greet it. +I've been hunting for a certain little plant which grows and blossoms +on these hills this month. I know Mr. Laird, and he knows me, but he +is always very rude to me—won't allow me to call upon his mother. I +suppose she's a poor hypochondriac."</p> + +<p>She was striding up the hill as she spoke, and Sara wondered at her +strength and activity. She tried to explain that Mrs. Laird received no +visitors.</p> + +<p>"A great pity!" was the sharp reply. "People are not meant to shut +themselves away from their fellow creatures, least of all women, +who are a mass of fads and eccentricities and nerves, when they let +themselves run to seed. We are like plants, which grow in clusters, and +in their natural state like plenty of company."</p> + +<p>Sara turned this over in her mind.</p> + +<p>"There are single specimens," she said diffidently.</p> + +<p>"Men cultured," snapped the old lady; "and if you let these precious +single specimens alone to the state of nature in which God placed +them—what happens?"</p> + +<p>Sara did not answer, for she heard a yelp of pain proceeding from some +rocks a short distance from them, and she ran forward in haste, for she +knew that Snooks was in difficulties.</p> + +<p>She was startled to find herself on a sharp spur of the hill which fell +precipitately down hundreds of feet. About fifteen feet down, Snooks +was struggling frantically to extricate himself from a narrow crevice, +into which he had either tumbled or crept.</p> + +<p>Miss Ferris had been quick to follow Sara.</p> + +<p>"What are you going to do?" she asked. "It's perilous footing where he +is."</p> + +<p>Sara did not reply. In an instant, she was scrambling down to where the +collie was. She found that one of his hind legs was seriously crushed. +Miss Ferris watched from above anxiously. Very deftly and calmly, with +soothing words and touch, did Sara release the poor dog. She was able +to lift up a heavy piece of rock which had fallen on him, and so had +imprisoned him. But having released him, she stood looking up in doubt.</p> + +<p>Miss Ferris seemed unable to suggest anything.</p> + +<p>"Can't he climb himself? You can never lift him?"</p> + +<p>Sara slipped out of her thick tweed coat. She wrapped it round the +dog's body, then took off her long thick scarf, and in five minutes had +him slung across her back, and was climbing up to safety.</p> + +<p>Miss Ferris heaved a long sigh when she was able to grip Sara by the +hand, and see her bring her burden up to the green turf above.</p> + +<p>"Splendidly done, young woman! And what an intelligent tractable dog! +No trouble at all! If he had struggled and borne you down, you and he +might have fallen back, and been dashed to pieces below! I'm quite +breathless with the excitement of the moment."</p> + +<p>"Poor Snooks!" said Sara, laying the collie tenderly down and examining +his hurt. "I'm afraid his leg is broken, or very badly sprained. He +won't let me touch it. I wonder what I had better do? Carry him home, I +suppose."</p> + +<p>"He will be too heavy. No, there's a doctor not far from here—a quack—a +herb doctor, but he's very good with animals. My brother had a sheep up +here doctored by him once, and it was quite a success! Keep the dog in +your jacket and we'll carry him between us. I know the way. It's not so +very far down."</p> + +<p>"I know it too. We'll try."</p> + +<p>With the help of a strap from Miss Ferris's tin box, they managed to +carry the collie carefully between them, but it seemed a long and a +rough way before they reached the little hut.</p> + +<p>"This is another case of unhealthy isolation," said Miss Ferris, as she +tapped peremptorily on the stout wooden door with her walking-stick.</p> + +<p>There was no answer for some time, though they heard somebody moving +about inside.</p> + +<p>Then Miss Ferris said—</p> + +<p>"Mr. Cleave, here is a wounded dog! We want your help. Don't keep us +waiting."</p> + +<p>Then the door was opened sharply; and an old grey-bearded man appeared. +He was dressed in brown corduroy, had leather gaiters, and wore a +shabby green felt hat. Sara thought him singularly handsome, with his +dark piercing eyes and white hair; his features were clear cut and +refined. And when he spoke, though his voice was gruff, his accent +showed that he had had education.</p> + +<p>"Bring him in, madam. A gun-shot wound?"</p> + +<p>"No, we think he has broken his leg," said Sara, gently. "He belongs to +Mr. Laird, and I know he values him."</p> + +<p>"It is Snooks. I know him."</p> + +<p>And Snooks raised his head at once and feebly wagged his tail.</p> + +<p>Whilst the old man was examining his hurt, Sara looked around her.</p> + +<p>It was a low-roofed room, a picture of a tidy farmhouse kitchen. +There were rows of dried bunches of herbs hung from a beam across the +ceiling, an old oak chest, a bright shining kitchen range, and an +oak dresser which held on its shelves rows, and rows of bottles and +glass jars, the latter full of preserved seeds and fruits. There was a +shelf of books in a deep recess, and some quaint foreign curiosities +in a glass cupboard. The floor was stone, and the window was shrouded +with thick net curtains. Everything was beautifully clean, and there +was a shelf of shining copper pans beneath the dresser. The walls +were covered with quaint old wood-cuts. One particularly claimed her +attention. It was of an old monk or hermit standing outside his cell in +a wood. His hands were raised as if in benediction, and underneath was +written:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'The profit of the earth is for all: the king himself is served by the +field.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Whilst she was puzzling over this, Miss Ferris was chatting away in a +very friendly fashion to the herb doctor. It seemed that she and he +were great friends, and botany was the link between them. She had in +fact more than once brought him rare herbs which she had discovered, +and which he was desirous to obtain.</p> + +<p>"The bone is not broken, but a ligament. I will dress it and bandage +it. He has bruised himself. I will take care of him for a night. He +wants rest. Mr. Laird can drive over for him to-morrow."</p> + +<p>He spoke curtly. Sara looked troubled.</p> + +<p>"I don't know what Mr. Laird will say. I ought to have looked after him +better. I feel responsible for his accident."</p> + +<p>She knelt down by Snooks, who was lying on a rug in front of the fire, +and stroked his head gently. Snooks looked up at her with affection, +but he made no attempt to move.</p> + +<p>"You couldn't have helped it," said Miss Ferris, briskly. "Dogs will +hunt, and if you had been close to him, he would have done it just the +same. We'll leave him to the good doctor here, he couldn't be in better +hands."</p> + +<p>Then she and the old man began discussing the merits of the little +plant for which she had been searching.</p> + +<p>Sara walked out of the hut, and stood gazing before her deep in +thought. Ought she to return home and report the dog's accident? She +did not want to spoil her day out, but she felt that it would be right +to inform Mr. Laird as soon as possible of what had happened.</p> + +<p>As she was standing there, suddenly a woman came round the corner with +a big brown pitcher of water in her hand. Sara knew in an instant who +she was, from the way she shrank back, and from her limp.</p> + +<p>Impulsively Sara stepped aside.</p> + +<p>"I hope you don't mind, but we have brought a wounded dog to your +father, and he is going to look after him for us."</p> + +<p>The woman looked furtively at Sara from under a big print bonnet. She +had her father's eyes, but her face was white and delicate; she rested +her pitcher on the ground and listened to the voices within.</p> + +<p>"Who is there?" she asked in a deep, quiet voice.</p> + +<p>"Miss Ferris," said Sara; "she met me out of doors. I am staying with +Mrs. Laird. I am her companion, and I came out for a day on the hills, +and have allowed Snooks to meet with an accident."</p> + +<p>The woman stood irresolute; she was unwilling to meet Miss Ferris, +unwilling to talk to Sara; and yet her eyes could not keep away from +Sara's face. Everybody who looked once at Sara always wanted to look +again. There was so much sympathy and feeling in her expression. To the +lame woman's eyes, Sara looked at her as if she had in that moment seen +something that she admired and liked in her.</p> + +<p>As a matter-of-fact there was a wistful sadness in the woman's face +that drew out Sara's compassion and liking. Ever since she had been +quite a child, she had always insisted that she liked sad people better +than gay.</p> + +<p>So now she touched the woman's arm softly—</p> + +<p>"I'm a stranger in these parts," she said, "but I love nature, and I +am sure you do. Will you be my friend? I haven't spoken to any woman +outside the house till to-day, when I met Miss Ferris. May I come and +see you?"</p> + +<p>"I never see visitors."</p> + +<p>"I don't want you to think of me as a visitor. If I come up here and +sit under that old rock over there, will you join me sometimes? I won't +intrude upon your privacy."</p> + +<p>The woman turned away with a little nod. She took her pitcher of water +indoors, and a moment after Miss Ferris came out.</p> + +<p>"That sulky Agnes and I don't get on," she said, "but the father is +a very good sort. I believe it is she who makes him live out in this +wild. Have you heard her story? Of course it has to do with blighted +love, what woman's story has not! Come along out of their hearing and I +will tell you.</p> + +<p>"She wasn't lame when she was young, and she was going to marry the +young blacksmith of her village. But her mother died suddenly, and she +could not make up her mind to leave her father. He used to go off for +tramps by himself and be away three and four days at a time, hunting +about for his plants and herbs.</p> + +<p>"There was another girl in the story, of course, and she was wildly in +love with the blacksmith. One day the two girls met on these hills. +Agnes was waiting for her lover. The other one taunted her with her +laggard lover. They fell to abuse, and finally Agnes was struck by her +rival, and in falling she tumbled over some rocks and broke her thigh.</p> + +<p>"She was laid up for a long time, and left permanently lame. She only +recovered to find that the other girl had improved her opportunities, +had made the smith see that a delicate crippled wife would be no +helpmate to him, and had married him herself. Agnes never got over it. +She was laughed at by some giddy girls for her limping gait one day, +and she then persuaded her father to come out of the village and live +up on these hills. Her trouble soured her, and she has a great dislike +to her own sex. Rather pitiful, isn't it?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm sorry for her!" exclaimed Sara.</p> + +<p>"Yes, so was I. But she's had years to get sweetened up here, with no +neighbours to irritate her; and I don't approve of her sulking still. +After all, don't we most of us have to go through the mills of God? We +don't get our own way, as a rule. I never did. But is that any reason +why we should shut ourselves away from humanity, and narrow down our +circle to our own precious selves? I've no patience with it! Where are +you going now?"</p> + +<p>"Home, I'm afraid," said Sara, a little ruefully. "I must let Mr. Laird +know about his dog."</p> + +<p>"Oh, you needn't trouble! He's coming over to see my brother after +lunch about some business matter, and I'll tell him then. Take your +fill of air and sunshine whilst you can, and then go home and try to +shake old Mrs. Laird out of her morbid melancholy, and get her into +the open, where the wind will blow on her, and the sun shine upon her! +Oh, these petulant rebels! They're just like roses creeping away into +a sheltered corner to escape the pruning and training which they need. +What happens to them? They degenerate into briars. Agnes Cleave is one +briar, your Mrs. Laird is another. Good-bye. Glad to have met you."</p> + +<p>She strode away with an abrupt little nod, and Sara was left alone.</p> + +<p>She wandered up the hill again, but felt ill at ease. The accident to +poor Snooks had spoiled her day. It seemed heartless to go on enjoying +herself whilst he lay in the herb doctor's hut, suffering acutely. Then +she sat down and ate her sandwiches. She was just resolving to return +to the house, when she saw in the distance a rider coming up in her +direction.</p> + +<p>As he came nearer, she recognized Graham Laird, and she hastily went +forward to meet him.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, "I was longing to make my confession to you. I am so +glad to have the opportunity. My day out is spoiled. Poor Snooks has +hurt himself badly."</p> + +<p>"I have just met Miss Ferris," he said, "and she has told me the story. +But you couldn't have left him in better hands. I'll just look in at +the hut. I caught sight of you perched on the sky line, and came on to +relieve your mind."</p> + +<p>"I think you must be a wizard," said Sara, laughing; "I was feeling +quite miserable."</p> + +<p>"What are you going to do with yourself now? Perhaps I oughtn't to ask!"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes. I feel quite cheered up, and am ready for anything. I want to +get away to that pine ridge. I love walking amongst pines."</p> + +<p>She pointed to a distant line of firs on the slope of the hill above +her.</p> + +<p>He looked at her and then at the ridge.</p> + +<p>"By the time you reach that, you will be wanting your tea."</p> + +<p>"I dare say I shall," said Sara, laughing, "but I shall do without it."</p> + +<p>"I was going to suggest that you should get it at a small farm close +by. I know Mrs. Gates would be delighted to give it to you. She loves +visitors."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps I shall not get so far, but I will try. I am so sorry about +Snooks."</p> + +<p>They parted.</p> + +<p>For a moment he watched her, as she walked off with her happy easy +stride, then he turned his horse's head, and rode off to the herb +doctor's.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_6">CHAPTER VI</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THE SECRET TROUBLE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>SARA was fond of walking, and she reached the pine ridge in very good +time. But when she saw a small grey house tucked away in the corner, +she followed Graham's advice, and went in for some tea. Mrs. Gates, a +plump, motherly looking woman, gave her a warm welcome.</p> + +<p>"I've heard tell of you, miss. You're with the poor lady at Felstone +Corner—Mrs. Laird. We're very fond of Mr. Laird—my husband and I—he's +so thorough and just in all his dealings, and there's nothing too small +for him to look into! Sir Malcolm has never had an agent like him +before! And when he comes over here on business, he's so good to my +little girls—they just dote on him. But there! We all see what a burden +his mother's illness be to him. I went up to the house when first they +come here just to help them in, and she fair depressed me, she were so +overcome with wretchedness."</p> + +<p>"It is ill health," said Sara.</p> + +<p>Then not wishing to discuss her employer, she asked Mrs. Gates if she +did not feel lonely.</p> + +<p>"Not when I'm busy, and I'm generally that. But just now I have a lady +lodger. She have come up here for the health of her little girl. They +live out in the pine wood most of the day, and when my little girls +come back from school, they and Miss True have rare games together."</p> + +<p>She gave Sara tea in a spotless little kitchen. The home-made loaf of +bread, the currant cake, the honey and golden butter set before her +were all appetizing, and she drank her tea with great relish. After a +little more chat, she went out into the pine wood, rather dreading lest +she should come across the lodgers.</p> + +<p>"It seems to me," she said, smiling at the thought, "that my day out by +myself away from every living creature has been anything but solitary, +for I have done nothing but come across people the whole time."</p> + +<p>She stepped softly upon the pine drift, looking about her with +the greatest appreciation. It took her back to a pine wood in her +childhood's home; the scent of the pines, the stillness and majesty of +their slender trunks, with the far-away sound of the wind swaying their +dark heads, so high above her!</p> + +<p>And then she suddenly longed to do as she and her brother had always +done—to make a fire of the cones and pine-needles! She took a little +silver matchbox from her pocket, and gathering some sticks together, +she soon had a blaze. Then she sat down by it, and taking her book from +her pocket, she began to read. Her back was resting against a tree. She +was so deep in her book that she did not see a little figure stealing +up in her direction. Suddenly she was startled.</p> + +<p>"Please, are you a gipsy?"</p> + +<p>She looked up. Standing in front of her was a tiny, short-frocked girl +with a crop of short curls and a white face, with large dark eyes and +pointed chin.</p> + +<p>Sara's heart always had a warm place in it for children.</p> + +<p>"Let us pretend I am," she said. "Come and sit down by my fire, and +tell me your name."</p> + +<p>"Yes, that will be lovely! My name is True—at least that's what Mummy +calls me, my proper name is Gertrude. Mummy is close by, but I leaves +her when I wants to do adventuring."</p> + +<p>"I expect you are lodging with Mrs. Gates."</p> + +<p>"Now I b'lieve you're a fairy, for I didn't tell you that."</p> + +<p>"Would you rather I was a fairy than a gipsy? I can be anything you +like."</p> + +<p>"Oh, you 'are' glorious!"</p> + +<p>The small creature clasped her hands in ecstasy.</p> + +<p>"Then will you be the wicked witch making spells over a fire, and I'll +be the princess—?"</p> + +<p>"True, what are you doing?"</p> + +<p>The child started, for her mother had come upon the scene. She was very +young, and looked a mere girl in her simple black dress and wide shady +hat. She had a sweet face, very gentle and appealing in its expression, +and her voice was very low in tone.</p> + +<p>"She is not disturbing me," said Sara with a pleasant smile. "We were +just beginning to play together."</p> + +<p>"It is time to go to tea," said the mother, taking her small child by +the hands. Then she looked at Sara with friendly eyes.</p> + +<p>"We were so accustomed to monopolize the wood, that my little girl was +quite curious when she saw the smoke from your fire. We do not see many +people here."</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara. "I have come over from Felstone Corner. I am staying +with Mrs. Laird."</p> + +<p>"Are you really? How extraordinary! I haven't been here long, but I +am a distant cousin of Mrs. Laird's. I used often to stay with her +before—before her trouble. I went over to Felstone Corner once since +they have been there, but Mrs. Laird would not see me, and Graham drove +me back to the station the same day. That was when my husband was +alive. We were staying in Lancaster for a few weeks."</p> + +<p>"Does Mr. Laird know you are here?" asked Sara.</p> + +<p>"I wrote to him a couple of days ago. Our doctor recommended me this +high air for True. She is very delicate."</p> + +<p>Sara wondered to herself that she had not been told of these visitors, +and then took herself to task for expecting to be taken into Graham's +confidence about everything.</p> + +<p>"How is Mrs. Laird?" was the next question put to her.</p> + +<p>"I am hoping she will be better when the warm weather comes."</p> + +<p>"Then you—you nurse her?"</p> + +<p>"I am her companion," said Sara, quickly.</p> + +<p>She saw that the young widow was scrutinizing her closely. Was it fancy +that made Sara think she noticed a certain hardening of lips and smile?</p> + +<p>"I suppose you have not been long with her? No one stays very long, I +hear. It's a terrible life for Graham."</p> + +<p>Sara made no reply.</p> + +<p>Then the young widow passed on, saying with a little bow and smile—</p> + +<p>"I dare say we will meet before long. You can tell them you have seen +me. I wish we were not so far-away, but we are nearer the town than +they are. Felstone Corner seems the other end of nowhere!"</p> + +<p>True kissed her hand.</p> + +<p>"Come another day, when it isn't tea-time," she called out in her +shrill little voice. "Then we'll have time to play all sorts of games!"</p> + +<p>Sara was left alone to her fire and to solitude. She could read no +longer. Her thoughts again centred in Mrs. Laird.</p> + +<p>"I am making no way with her at all; oh, I wish, I wish I could bring +her comfort!"</p> + +<p>She was interested in the widow and her child. And when she at length +turned homewards, she wondered again why Graham Laird had not mentioned +them, when he advised her to have tea at the farm in which they were +lodging.</p> + +<p>She did not arrive home till dusk had set in. She found Graham sitting +with his mother. Contrary to his custom, he did not leave the room when +she came into it.</p> + +<p>"Come and tell the mother of your adventures," he said with a little +smile. "She wants to hear about poor Snooks."</p> + +<p>"How is he?"</p> + +<p>"Doing very well. He'll be about again in a few days. Reuben is +first-rate with animals!"</p> + +<p>Then Sara sat down, and gave Mrs. Laird a very full account of her day.</p> + +<p>When she came to her meeting with the widow and child, Mrs. Laird said +irritably—</p> + +<p>"A cousin of mine? I have no cousins living—"</p> + +<p>"It is Eva, mother. She married, you know, soon after we came here. Her +name is Jeffery now. Her husband died last year. I heard from her the +other day, and have not had time to answer her—"</p> + +<p>"She is not to come into the house," said Mrs. Laird, excitedly. "I +will not see her. I wonder she dares come near us! What is her object?"</p> + +<p>"She told me her little girl was delicate, and wants country air," said +Sara.</p> + +<p>"I can't think why you need have spoken to her," said Mrs. Laird. "I +don't wish you to have anything to do with her."</p> + +<p>"It was quite an accident. In fact I was only thinking as I came home, +how differently my day has been spent from what I intended. I went out +to the hills to have a lovely time of solitude. I have instead been +making acquaintance with six strange people."</p> + +<p>"And you couldn't even get away from me," said Graham with a little +laugh.</p> + +<p>Then he got up to go. Mrs. Laird was strangely restless and upset.</p> + +<p>When she was alone with Sara, she said—</p> + +<p>"Give me your promise you won't speak to that woman again. She has done +untold harm to me in the past."</p> + +<p>"I will try and not meet her, but I never give promises that I am +doubtful about keeping. She might insist upon speaking to me. She looks +such a sweet gentle girl."</p> + +<p>"She's a snake—a snake in the grass," said Mrs. Laird, angrily.</p> + +<p>"Well, don't let us think about her."</p> + +<p>"But I must. I shan't sleep to-night. She'll be getting hold of you and +telling you a lot of falsehoods. A cousin of mine indeed! She's the +stepdaughter of a cousin of mine, and when her mother went abroad, she +came to stay with me. She was only a schoolgirl then, about seventeen, +but she wrought mischief between the ones I loved best, and myself. She +was the cause of it all! I could curse her!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird broke down and sobbed miserably. Sara knelt by her side.</p> + +<p>"Dear Mrs. Laird, do tell me all about it. I can't bear seeing you so +miserable. I wish I could comfort you!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird raised her head, and a fierce light came into her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I will tell you. And you can leave me to-morrow, for you won't want to +stay with me when you hear. But if I don't tell you, she will! She has +followed us here on purpose to rake up the old story. I know her too +well! Lock the door. Come here and listen."</p> + +<p>She took hold of Sara's hands with her hot trembling ones.</p> + +<p>Sara caught her breath. At last she was going to be told the secret.</p> + +<p>"Did you think Graham my only son? I had another, my firstborn, Edmund. +He was in a Government office in London. We lived out of town, half +an hour's run by train. Graham was abroad. Edmund lived with me, but +the day came when he married. She was a nice little thing—his wife. +I had my own rooms in the house, and did not interfere with them. Of +course we had differences occasionally. I'll confess it. I have a quick +passionate temper, and there were times when she exasperated me by her +helpless babyish ways. But we were good friends. We only lived together +a year. She died when her baby was born. Edmund was inconsolable, he +got his chief to send him out abroad on some foreign mission, and he +left his child with me—"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird paused, for her voice broke.</p> + +<p>Seeing her agitation, Sara said—</p> + +<p>"Don't tell me any more now, if you would rather not."</p> + +<p>"I shall not stop now I have once begun," Mrs. Laird said sharply. Then +she looked up at Sara with weary pitiful eyes—</p> + +<p>"I loved that child, loved her as I had loved her father. Do you +believe me when I say it? I 'adored' her!"</p> + +<p>"I am sure you did," said Sara gently, seeing a fierce light leap into +the old lady's eyes again.</p> + +<p>"Dorothy, her name was. We called her Dorrie. She slept in a +dressing-room next mine. I taught her myself to read and write. She was +always with me. She was high-spirited, and I suppose I indulged her too +much. Her governesses used to say she was a handful! Then came the time +when Eva Routledge came to stay with us. I had her for her mother's +sake. She was a favourite cousin of mine. Eva was a girl whose rôle in +life was to be popular. She craved and sought for the affection of all +she came across, but she would not share this affection with others. +Dorrie looked up to her as a child of eleven does look up to a girl of +seventeen, and Eva got such an influence over her that she would do +anything for her.</p> + +<p>"Then Edmund came home on leave, and Eva being a born flirt began to +amuse herself with him. She always did, as you say, look quiet and +gentle—but she was very deep. I knew how she acted behind my back—and +I exposed her falseness one day before Edmund. She never forgave me +for it, and systematically tried to turn Dorrie against me. It was her +revenge. I did not realize then how bitterly she felt towards me. But +when Dorrie flouted me to my face, refused to stay with me, and spent +all her time with Eva, I began to see it must be stopped, and I told +Eva her visit must come to an end.</p> + +<p>"I really believe now that she was trying to make Edmund marry her. He +was very near it, and thought me very harsh in the way I talked about +her. I remember the night before he left us—he was going to spend a +fortnight in the country with some friends.</p> + +<p>"'Mother,' he said, 'I think you're very hard on young people. Dorrie +seems frightened of you. Do you find her a trouble? Would she be better +at a boarding-school?'</p> + +<p>"I knew who had been poisoning his mind against me.</p> + +<p>"'When Dorrie and I are alone,' I said, 'we are perfectly happy. Eva is +having a bad influence over her, and I am very glad she is leaving us.'</p> + +<p>"He said no more. He left us the next day, and Eva was to go the day +after."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird stopped. She hid her face in her hands. Sara waited. She +felt the sooner the story was told, the better it would be.</p> + +<p>In a few moments, Mrs. Laird looked up, and went on in a cold metallic +tone of voice.</p> + +<p>"I was feeling miserable that day. I hadn't slept, and everything +seemed to get upon my nerves. Eva was packing, and Dorrie spent most of +the day in her room. In the afternoon, I was going to take Dorrie out +to tea somewhere. When the time came, the child sent a message saying +she wasn't coming, she was going to stay with Eva till her cab came. Of +course I ought to have given in. I see now that I ought. If we could +ever foresee the result of some of our actions, how differently we +should behave! I was very angry, and sent for Dorrie to come to me. I +can see her now springing up the stairs, a little slim figure, with her +auburn curls flying, and her dark eyes flashing rather angrily.</p> + +<p>"I came out on the broad landing, and she stood balancing herself on +one leg—it was a trick she had—at the head of the stairs.</p> + +<p>"'I won't come, Granny!' she said passionately. 'Poor Eva is crying. +You've been very unkind to her!'</p> + +<p>"'So you like Eva better than your old Granny!' I said, feeling my +temper rise.</p> + +<p>"'A thousand times better!' cried Dorrie.</p> + +<p>"My passion overcame me. I can't remember what I said. But my words +were enough to make the child shrink back suddenly, as I sprang towards +her. My instinct was to take her by the arm and bring her into my +room and keep her there till Eva had gone. Even now—I can't say for +certain—I go over and over the scene till my brain gets dizzy—but I do +believe that I never laid my hand on her. In any case, the child was +frightened, lost her balance and fell headlong down that steep long +staircase, striking her head with awful force on the stone pavement +below.</p> + +<p>"Eva saw her fall, and told every one that she saw me strike her down. +I could not contradict her. The horror of it all numbed me. I dashed +downstairs and carried her upstairs to my bedroom. A doctor was sent +for, but she never recovered consciousness. She died in my arms two +hours afterwards—I—and no one else had killed her!"</p> + +<p>"You poor—poor soul!" said Sara. And then in a passion of pity and +compassion, she put her arms round the trembling speaker, and kissed +her.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird gently pushed her away.</p> + +<p>"Ah—h—h!" she said, with a drawn-out shudder. "I am in God's sight a +murderer. It was my temper which killed my darling! That sting nobody +can take out of my heart. Let me finish, there is not much more to +tell. Edmund was telegraphed for. He came, but got the version of +the story from Eva first. You can imagine how he felt towards me. My +remorse, my grief was nothing to him. He shut himself up away from +me till after the funeral, then he bade me good-bye, and went abroad +again. What do you think his last words were to me? They are burnt into +my soul:</p> + +<p>"'May God forgive you, mother, I cannot. We are best apart, for you +have taken my all from me!'</p> + +<p>"He went, and to add to my punishment, he was attacked by fever a year +later, and died out in India. He passed out of this life without a word +of forgiveness for his mother."</p> + +<p>"And then your other son came home and comforted you," said Sara, +consolingly.</p> + +<p>"Do I look comforted? No. It's a wonder to me now why I was not tried +for murder. Our doctor hushed it up."</p> + +<p>"It was an accident," said Sara, firmly. "You could not have been +thought guilty of murder. You say yourself that you did not think you +touched her."</p> + +<p>"I delude myself with that fancy. I know I did not strike her +downstairs, as that vile girl insinuated. But the fact remains the +same. She met her death through me. A young happy life destroyed at its +outset by a jealous passionate woman! This is my burden. This is why I +will not face my fellow creatures. They say I am morbid, but God has +forsaken me. How I wrestled all that night in my agony beseeching Him +to save her life, and not lay the loss of it to my charge! He would not +listen to me. He took her. And I have never prayed to Him since."</p> + +<p>"But God knows your heart. He knows your sorrow and remorse, and +forgives. I remember a verse in the Bible that brought me great comfort +once, when I had done wrong:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon Thee. Thou saidst, +Fear not.'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"That's how we're received. Do call upon Him. He will comfort and +relieve you, because He knows, as no one else knows, how you feel about +it."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird did not speak, her face was turned away.</p> + +<p>"So now," she said coldly, "you know that you are living with a woman +who has been guilty of murder."</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, emphatically, "that is not true. You may have sinned +by anger, but I don't believe for a moment that your hand touched the +child. Shall we have our evening reading now?"</p> + +<p>"No, I cannot bear it. I am too upset."</p> + +<p>Sara took her trembling hand in hers caressingly. She said no more, she +felt she could not, but she just sat silently by her side, praying for +her.</p> + +<p>Then Mrs. Laird suddenly raised her head, and spoke in an indifferent +tone.</p> + +<p>"You might play and sing to me. I like your music. We will not talk any +more."</p> + +<p>Sara never in her life had felt more disinclined to sing than she did +just now.</p> + +<p>But she went into her room and got her guitar. And then a sudden +impulse came to her. She sat down in the firelight and sang in her +sweet thrilling voice—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Souls of men! why will ye scatter<br> + Like a crowd of frighten'd sheep?<br> + Foolish hearts! why will ye wander<br> + From a love so true and deep?'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>When she came to the verse—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'There is no place where earth's sorrows<br> + Are more felt than up in Heaven;<br> + There is no place where earth's failings<br> + Have such kindly judgment given—'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird heaved a deep sigh, and her lips quivered. Sara went on—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'For the love of God is broader<br> + Than the measures of man's mind;<br> + And the Heart of the Eternal<br> + Is most wonderfully kind.<br> + <br> +"'Pining souls! come nearer Jesus,<br> + And oh! come not doubting thus,<br> + But with faith that trusts more bravely<br> + His huge tenderness for us.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Then Mrs. Laird bowed her head in her hands, and tears came.</p> + +<p>Sara finished the hymn, then slipped quietly out of the room, and left +the stricken woman alone.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_7">CHAPTER VII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THE INVALID IMPROVES</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE next morning at breakfast, Graham said—"How is my mother this +morning?"</p> + +<p>"She did not sleep very well, but she seems comfortable now. I shan't +let her get up very early."</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid your meeting with Mrs. Jeffery rather agitated her?"</p> + +<p>Sara looked up at him gravely and frankly.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Laird, your mother told me all last night."</p> + +<p>"I am glad she did," he said, after a little pause; "I would rather +you had heard it from her lips than from anybody else's. I suppose you +guessed she had something on her mind?"</p> + +<p>"It ought not to be there," said Sara. "She has distorted and magnified +what happened so much that she refuses to put it away from her."</p> + +<p>"She cannot well do that. Our memories are hard masters."</p> + +<p>"But our failures and mistakes can be blotted out. It is wrong to bind +them upon our shoulders and bear the burden of them."</p> + +<p>"What were you singing to her last night?"</p> + +<p>"A hymn—"</p> + +<p>Graham smiled, and Sara coloured a little.</p> + +<p>"Don't scorn hymns," she said. "This was a very special one."</p> + +<p>"I do not doubt it. But my mother's hurt is too deep to be touched +by hymns. If Mrs. Jeffery does happen to call here, you must not let +her see my mother. I am sorry she is in the neighbourhood. Of course +I was abroad at the time of my mother's trouble. Eva was a young and +foolish girl, but I don't think she was so much to blame as my mother +imagines. It is a very sad story. I have heard both sides. But I would +give a good deal to any one who brought the least bit of comfort to my +mother. She is much too morbid, of course, about her part in it. It was +an accident, pure and simple. And if any soul has punished themselves a +thousand times over for a fit of temper, I am sure my poor mother has."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Sara, "that is quite true. She will be comforted by and by, +Mr. Laird; I know she will."</p> + +<p>"I shall have to answer Mrs. Jeffery's note," said Graham, musingly. "I +am ashamed of having put it into my pocket and forgotten it. I think I +must ride over and see her, and then I'll have a look at Snooks. Reuben +would like to keep him another day, he said."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Sara's day passed very quietly. It seemed like a calm after a storm.</p> + +<p>When Mrs. Laird was dressed, she sat in her chair engrossed in a book +which she was reading. She made no allusion to what had passed the +evening before, but when dusk came on, she sent for Sara.</p> + +<p>"Sing to me," she said.</p> + +<p>Sara sang some of her favourite songs, both grave and gay, then, just +as she was laying aside her guitar, Mrs. Laird said—</p> + +<p>"And now sing me that hymn again. And sing it slowly—make it last!"</p> + +<p>Sara willingly did so.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird listened with face screened from view by her book, which she +held between herself and the singer.</p> + +<p>The sweet vibration of Sara's voice accentuated the sweetness of the +words.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird thanked her quietly when she had finished, and Sara wisely +made no comment upon it.</p> + +<p>After that, every evening she sang the same hymn, until one night about +ten days afterwards Mrs. Laird said abruptly—</p> + +<p>"You need not sing it any more. I know it now by heart. As I lie in +bed, I hear your voice still singing it."</p> + +<p>Sara bent down and kissed her.</p> + +<p>"I'm so glad you like it," she said. "I have always loved it. You're +going to have the two last lines made good to you."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird looked up inquiringly.</p> + +<p>"We'll change one word," said Sara, smiling.</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"And our lives will be all sunshine<br> + In the sweetness of our Lord."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird caught hold of her hand with a quick-drawn breath.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, "if it could be! It's the first ray of hope I've had +through all these wretched years."</p> + +<p>She was very silent after that. Sara felt her way very carefully. She +knew that words from her were unnecessary, for she believed that Mrs. +Laird was drawing near to the One Who loved her. So she said little and +prayed much.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Snooks returned home, and soon regained the use of his leg.</p> + +<p>Sara did not forget the lonely woman who had helped to dress his +wounds. She went up one day, and sat outside the hut according to her +promise. She sat there for half an hour without hearing or seeing any +sign of her.</p> + +<p>Then as she was about to move away, the door slowly opened, and Agnes +came out. She had a jug in her hand as if she were going to the spring, +and she gave a start when she saw Sara, but it was too self-consciously +done to be natural. Sara had a pretty good idea that she had been seen +from the window.</p> + +<p>"I thought you might like to hear how your patient was going on," said +Sara, brightly. "I nearly brought him up with me to-day, only I was +afraid that you had made him so comfortable here that he would want to +return to you."</p> + +<p>"He was a very good patient," Agnes said gravely. "A good deal more +patient than I was when I got my hurt. He and I have reason to remember +these hills."</p> + +<p>Then she looked sharply at Sara.</p> + +<p>"You've heard my story from somebody?"</p> + +<p>"Well, yes, I have," said Sara, gently. "I do feel so sorry for you."</p> + +<p>Agnes shot up her head in the air with a little snort.</p> + +<p>"Oh, you've no cause to be sorry for me. That happened years ago. I've +learnt to bear in silence, but I hate pity."</p> + +<p>Sara made no reply. She just smiled upon her companion in a friendly +fashion, and Agnes's face softened at once.</p> + +<p>"Father and I fit in very well together, for we're both silent. He is +always busy, and so am I."</p> + +<p>"Do you get any time for reading?"</p> + +<p>"No. Father's books don't interest me. They're all on herbs and +medicines. But I crochet and knit. I've crocheted a good many shawls +and now I'm doing a quilt. Does Mrs. Laird work? She'd find it would +soothe her like nothing else if she did."</p> + +<p>"Yes; we work together. I quite agree with you. Work always soothes me."</p> + +<p>Agnes looked at Sara's bright sympathetic face.</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't think you were ever ruffled or disturbed," she said.</p> + +<p>"Sometimes I feel inside like a seething whirlpool," said Sara; +"especially when wrong is being done, and nobody seems able to right +it. But as far as my own affairs go, I have had a happy life."</p> + +<p>"You look like it. Anybody could see you've never known trouble."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't know about that," said Sara, gravely. "Trouble comes to us +all. I have twice been rooted up out of a very happy comfortable home, +but I know it must be the very best thing for me, so it doesn't worry +me."</p> + +<p>"Why should it be the very best thing for you?" asked Agnes in surprise.</p> + +<p>"I don't know why. I suppose I shall see the reason for it some day."</p> + +<p>A little silence fell upon them.</p> + +<p>Then Agnes said gloomily—</p> + +<p>"There's no more light and hope for me some future day than there is +now."</p> + +<p>"Oh, isn't there? Don't you look forward to another better life when +this is done? You don't expect to come to an end when you die?"</p> + +<p>"I hate death. I don't trouble about it."</p> + +<p>"I have learnt that it is a golden gate," said Sara. "I remember +hearing a little story long ago. May I tell it to you?</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "It was of three travellers on board ship journeying towards land. One +was a stowaway; he knew he was going to be landed and left to shift for +himself. He looked forward with doubt and uneasiness to the end of his +journey, for he did not know what would become of him. The other was a +criminal who had been detected and discovered since he was on board. He +knew what the end of his journey would mean for him. Trial, punishment, +and most likely death. The third was going home to his father's +house. He had been sent abroad on a mission of some difficulty, and +had suffered a good many hardships in trying to carry it out. But his +mission was done. He had been recalled, and now there was a gladness +in his eye, an eager anticipation in his heart of the welcome he would +receive, of the home that was his. He knew that the end of his journey +would be better than all that had gone before."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara paused. Her eyes were far-away and there was a rapt smile about +her lips.</p> + +<p>Agnes looked at her. Her daily contact with her father, who was an +educated man, had refined her and made her more thoughtful than most +women in her position would have been.</p> + +<p>"I feel like the stowaway," she said. "I don't know what the end of my +journey will be."</p> + +<p>"But you can know. I would never rest if I were you till I did know. +The Bible will tell you."</p> + +<p>Then Sara got up to go.</p> + +<p>"Come and see me soon again," said Agnes. "You are different from other +people."</p> + +<p>Sara promised she would; and Agnes stood watching her light quick steps +retreating into the distance. She went back to the hut.</p> + +<p>"If the Bible could give me her gladness and sureness, it would be +worth reading," she said. "I'll have a try."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It was an eventful day when, wrapped up warmly, Sara took Mrs. Laird +round the garden. She leant heavily upon the girl's arm, and at first +would hardly notice the flowers that under Sara's care were blossoming +freely. But as the days grew brighter and warmer, the air and sunshine +worked their way with her, and she began to evince more interest in +things about her.</p> + +<p>And one sunny morning Sara got Graham to help, and between them they +got the old lady down to the lake, and took her out in a boat.</p> + +<p>It was a very successful effort. Mrs. Laird came back to the house with +a light in her eyes which Sara had never seen before.</p> + +<p>Graham was intensely pleased, but also cautious.</p> + +<p>"Don't go too fast, Miss Darlington," he said. "Don't overtax her +strength. I don't know if it is a good sign or not, but my mother is +altering very much. She is softer and gentler in her ways; the shadow +seems lifting from her. I sometimes wonder whether it is a sign that +her hold on life is lessening, that her strength is going. What do you +think?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, slowly, "I think it is something better than that. I +think she is being comforted."</p> + +<p>"She has told me more than once what a comfort you are to her."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Mr. Laird, I am not doing it. Do you think I personally could +bring her out of the shadows?"</p> + +<p>He looked at her in a puzzled sort of way, but said no more.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>There were still days when Mrs. Laird relapsed into brooding +melancholy, but these came very seldom now, and if she had been +depressed during the day, she would ask Sara to sing her the hymn that +she had learnt to love.</p> + +<p>One evening she had retired early to bed, and Sara ran down into the +garden to water her flowers. She found Colonel Fleming and Graham +pacing the paths together, as they smoked their pipes.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming gave her a very hearty greeting. "Haven't seen you for +ages! I hear of you from different quarters. Miss Ferris complains she +has asked you over to dine and you won't go. I hoped to meet you there +last week. Why won't you accept her invitations?"</p> + +<p>"Because I am otherwise employed," said Sara, with a little laugh. "But +I liked Miss Ferris very much."</p> + +<p>"So does every one. Now look here. I'm going to give a party—what do +you ladies call it?—An 'At Home,' isn't it? I shall be at home to my +friends next Thursday. I expect Sir Malcolm and Miss Ferris, I expect +Mrs. Jeffery and her little girl, and I expect you, Miss Darlington. +Laird will drive you over: of course he'll come. I shall have the +parson and his wife, and the doctor and a few local fry. What's +bothering my head is the question of entertainment. My strawberries +will be ripe, but you wouldn't like to be told to pick them, would you? +There will be croquet for a few—but what on earth will the rest do?"</p> + +<p>"Talk," said Graham. "My experience of those sorts of gaieties is that +you stand about a damp lawn, and keep your tongues busy; you refresh +yourself with tea, and you go at it again till you've exhausted every +subject under the sun. And then you're glad enough to see the traps +coming round."</p> + +<p>"Poor dumb dog," said Colonel Fleming. "Does he never talk to you, Miss +Darlington?"</p> + +<p>"Not much," said Sara, laughing.</p> + +<p>"No," said Graham; "Miss Darlington and I think more than we speak. If +we have anything particular to say, we say it, otherwise we hold our +tongues."</p> + +<p>"Well, am I to expect you?"</p> + +<p>"I will see what Mrs. Laird says," said Sara, quietly. "If she cannot +spare me, I shall not come. But I thank you for the invitation."</p> + +<p>"You must bring her, Graham. Don't dare to show your face without her!"</p> + +<p>He departed.</p> + +<p>Sara continued watering her flowers.</p> + +<p>"Here!" said Graham, suddenly, after watching her in an absent-minded +way. "You must let me fill those cans for you. Why do you give yourself +such a lot of trouble? Let the flowers take their chance and wait for +the rain."</p> + +<p>"If you had sown these, and watched their growth from seedlings, you +couldn't see them flag and wither and die for want of a little effort +on your part."</p> + +<p>Graham did not answer. He filled her cans from the garden tap and +carried them backwards and forwards for her. Then, when she expressed +herself satisfied, he said—</p> + +<p>"Now we have earned a rest, come and sit down over here where we can +look down upon the lake."</p> + +<p>She followed him to a favourite nook of hers in the garden. The trees +and shrubs had been cut away, and from a rustic seat the lake in its +beautiful setting of wooded slopes lay before them. She clasped her +hands idly in her lap, and a smile of keen enjoyment came to her lips +as she gazed over the still blue water.</p> + +<p>"I don't think I have ever seen you idle before," said Graham, breaking +a silence of some minutes. "You always have that everlasting knitting +in your hands or some other dull kind of work."</p> + +<p>Sara laughed.</p> + +<p>"How like a man! Women's work is often dull, but it is very useful +nevertheless!"</p> + +<p>"How was it you refused Miss Ferris's invitation? Did my mother know +about it?"</p> + +<p>"No. I did not think it necessary to tell her."</p> + +<p>"But that was hardly fair. There was no reason why you should not have +gone."</p> + +<p>"I had several very good reasons," said Sara, serenely. "The chief one +perhaps was that your mother requires me more towards the end of the +day than any other part of it."</p> + +<p>"But I could have taken your place."</p> + +<p>"Not altogether. You see what a good opinion I have of my services! I +did not come here to enjoy social gaiety."</p> + +<p>"Gaiety! If you only knew what a dull soul is Ferris! His dinners are +heavier to the spirit than to the digestion, and that is saying a good +deal!"</p> + +<p>"Then I haven't missed much," said Sara, laughing.</p> + +<p>He looked at her without speaking for a moment, then he said—</p> + +<p>"You must come to Fleming's to-morrow. We need not stay long. I +can't think how he can consider it worth his while to turn his house +topsy-turvy for such an ineffectual bit of social intercourse. It's +like playing at a game!"</p> + +<p>"Playing games is healthy sometimes. Colonel Fleming strikes me as a +very sociable man. He likes his fellow creatures, doesn't he?"</p> + +<p>A shadow came into Graham's eyes.</p> + +<p>"He used to be one of the most popular officers in the service. I can't +think even now why he stays here. Of course at one time I think I told +you—he had his trouble, but time heals wounds of that sort."</p> + +<p>"He is very fond of you."</p> + +<p>"It's rather astonishing, isn't it?"</p> + +<p>As Sara looked up, she encountered quite a humorous sparkle in Graham's +dark eyes, and she cried impulsively—</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm so glad you've a sense of humour. Why don't you show it more? +It helps through difficult bits of life as nothing else does."</p> + +<p>And then she rose from her seat.</p> + +<p>"I must go in. Your mother will be expecting me."</p> + +<p>She had turned from him before Graham had recovered from his +astonishment.</p> + +<p>"A sense of humour!" he muttered. "When one is cramped and deadened, +and crushed into a flattened bit of putty, it's hard to have any sense +at all. But she is revolutionizing us! And what a light she is in our +dark dreary house!"</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_8">CHAPTER VIII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A MAN'S DETERMINATION</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>SARA went to Colonel Fleming's "At Home." Mrs. Laird said she would +like her to do so.</p> + +<p>It was a very warm afternoon when she started in the high dog-cart +with Graham. She wore a lavender muslin gown, and a shady straw hat. +He glanced at her, as she stood on the steps waiting for the trap to +come round. There was something peculiarly dainty and fresh in her +appearance in spite of the extreme simplicity of her dress. She caught +his gaze and laughed.</p> + +<p>"I hope I am dressed suitably for the occasion."</p> + +<p>"You will want a dust-coat or cloak," said Graham, gravely.</p> + +<p>She held up one with a smile, and he took it out of her hands and +helped her into it.</p> + +<p>Then as they drove off, he said—</p> + +<p>"This is rather different weather to when you last drove with me."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Sara; "I shall not soon forget my arrival in these parts. +What a strange, eerie, and interesting time it was to me! Do you +remember the mistake I made about you? I took you for an exceedingly +taciturn groom!"</p> + +<p>"I had driven so many ladies backwards and forwards," said Graham +apologetically, "that I felt very depressed that night."</p> + +<p>"You did not think me suitable," said Sara, amusement in her tone.</p> + +<p>"No, I did not, and I do not now."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I am sorry. I hoped I was giving satisfaction."</p> + +<p>"It is a false position for you to be in. And candidly, I wonder that +you stay."</p> + +<p>"But I am very happy, so why should I not? And I am truly fond of your +mother."</p> + +<p>"You are very good and patient with her."</p> + +<p>Sara did not speak for a moment, then she said—</p> + +<p>"Don't you think it one of the good things in this life to be able +to mitigate even in the least degree the sorrows and discomforts of +others? I do. And when your mother's eyes brighten, and a smile hovers +about her lips, I feel as happy as a sandboy! I want to get her out +more. Do you think we could persuade her to drive with you across the +hills? Couldn't you take her to see the old herb doctor?"</p> + +<p>He shook his head.</p> + +<p>"She won't see people just yet. I wish she would. Have you been much +with old people, Miss Darlington?"</p> + +<p>"No, I don't think I have. But I do love them. A little old Miss +Grafton is one of my greatest friends in town. I love their placid +detachment of things and people, and yet their keen interest in all the +little details of life which escape the younger people who are more +self-engrossed."</p> + +<p>They turned then to talk of the country round them. Sara found that +Graham was interested in all nature studies. He told her some of his +experiences in the hills in India, and gave her an account of his +game-hunting there. She felt quite sorry when the drive came to an end.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming came out to meet them with a beaming face.</p> + +<p>"Good creatures to be so punctual! I'm actually getting nervous. Miss +Darlington, come and look at my tea-tables. I hope my housekeeper has +provided enough. How do people know how much will be required? It's a +mystery to me."</p> + +<p>Tea had been laid under a group of old elms on the lawn. Sara looked +at the bountiful spread, and assured him that he had enough cakes and +sandwiches for a hundred.</p> + +<p>"You think so? I'm so glad. I made Mrs. Larkins double everything +half an hour ago. You see, I've never gone in for this style of thing +before. And I want to do it well."</p> + +<p>The guests began to arrive, and soon there was a very fair sprinkling +of people scattered about upon the lawn. Colonel Fleming had made a +very pretty garden for himself, and the old farmhouse looked most +picturesque in its setting. Miss Ferris and her brother, Sir Malcolm, +were there, and Sara was introduced to the squire of the district for +the first time. He was a short, stout man with very little powers of +conversation, and Sara found him distinctly heavy.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Jeffery and her little girl were some of the latest arrivals. The +child soon discovered Sara, and followed her about like a shadow.</p> + +<p>Her mother paced a shady shrubbery path for a long time with Graham. +Sara came across them once talking earnestly. The young widow's face +was very sweet and appealing, she seemed to be pleading for something +which Graham, with set frowning face, was denying her. Sara was walking +with Miss Ferris when she met them. Mrs. Jeffery gave her a stiff +little smile of recognition; Graham never lifted his eyes from the +ground.</p> + +<p>"My dear," said Miss Ferris, bluntly, "we have interrupted unadvisedly."</p> + +<p>"Oh, they're cousins," said Sara, indifferently.</p> + +<p>A little later, Colonel Fleming insisted upon taking her over +his house. Little True accompanied them. Sara admired the plain +dark-panelled hall, with its oak table and settle by the fire. It +was essentially a man's room. The dining-room led out of it, and +was furnished in the same severe style. Above the fireplace was the +portrait of a charming girl in riding dress.</p> + +<p>"My mother, God bless her!" said Colonel Fleming. "And painted by a +first-rate artist too. I don't mind telling you, Miss Darlington, but +her eyes looking down upon me when I sit over my wine prevents my +making a—a beast of myself. Do you understand? A man dining alone, with +nobody to keep him company, soon makes a god of his cellar. And she and +I understand each other, and I know when I must draw in. Now then, come +into the drawing-room. It has been aired and trimmed up, but I never +use the room myself. I sit mostly in the hall."</p> + +<p>The drawing-room was appalling in its stiff decorum: chairs against +the wall, shrouded to hide light, windows close shut, curtains and the +crimson damask suite from which holland covers had been removed made +Sara feel hot to look at them.</p> + +<p>"I suppose this room appeals to ladies most," Colonel Fleming said, +with a wistful note in his voice, "but a man doesn't need a state room +like this, so I never use it."</p> + +<p>"I don't think I should use it either," said Sara, thoughtfully; +adding, with a little laugh: "I mean if I were staying as a visitor in +your house."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I would," exclaimed True, dancing up and down as she clung hold of +Sara's hand. "I would have canaries in all the windows, and dogs and +cats about the floor, and then when it got dark, I would light up all +the candles, and get somebody to play the piano, and I would dance to +the music. It would be lovely!"</p> + +<p>"I can see you and the cats and dogs all dancing together," said Sara, +with a merry laugh.</p> + +<p>The child did not laugh. But she looked up into Colonel Fleming's face +gravely.</p> + +<p>"Why don't you get a lady to come and live in this room? If I was +bigger, I might come. But there are lots of ladies who would like a +nice room like this."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said Colonel Fleming, laughing. "But then they might interfere +with my rooms, and that would never do. Now we'll come back to the +garden and lock this room up. It is too hot and fusty to use to-day."</p> + +<p>"Like Bluebeard's cupboard it is," cried True.</p> + +<p>And then she ran off in search of her mother, whilst Sara was taken +over the rest of the house.</p> + +<p>As they rejoined the company on the lawn, the Colonel said—</p> + +<p>"So glad to get Graham out amongst us to-day. He has been slowly +fossilizing, but you're waking him up at last."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I have very little to say or do with him," said Sara, +indifferently.</p> + +<p>She glanced at Graham, as he stood by Mrs. Jeffery's side. She was +eating an ice which he had brought her, and he was smiling at True's +earnest talk.</p> + +<p>The child was leaning against her mother.</p> + +<p>Then Sara was introduced to a local doctor's wife, and afterwards the +vicar of the parish came up and claimed her attention.</p> + +<p>She did not see Graham to speak to till the guests were departing. They +were the last to leave, for Colonel Fleming had begged them to help him +till the end.</p> + +<p>When the dog-cart came round, the Colonel helped Sara into it and said—</p> + +<p>"I am hoping my party has been a success, but I'll own up to being +confoundedly glad it's over!"</p> + +<p>"You have given pleasure to all of us," said Sara.</p> + +<p>"Get Mr. Laird to follow my example," said Colonel Fleming as they +drove off. "It's your turn to show hospitality next!"</p> + +<p>Graham gave a short laugh.</p> + +<p>"The skies will fall before we go in for entertaining," he said to Sara.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't know," she replied. "Your mother may wake up one day, and +want to do it."</p> + +<p>"She is certainly taking more interest in life. Now I want you to get +her to do something. Mrs. Jeffery is most anxious to let bygones be +bygones. She wants to come over to lunch one day, and see my mother. +In fact, I should like her and the child to come to us for a few days +before they leave this neighbourhood. I want my mother to be willing to +receive her."</p> + +<p>"You take my breath away," said Sara. "It was only the other day you +told me if Mrs. Jeffery were to call, that your mother was not to see +her. And now I have heard the story, I think it would be the height of +folly for them to meet at present."</p> + +<p>She felt Graham instantly stiffen, as he sat beside her.</p> + +<p>"I am the best judge of that."</p> + +<p>"No, excuse me, you are not. No man understands a woman. Your mother is +not strong enough either mentally or physically to be put under such an +intense strain. Think how it will reopen all the anguish and remorse! +Why, it is cruelty to think of it! I am fond of dear little True, but +to have a child in the house, in your mother's state, would be madness, +especially as she is the child of Mrs. Jeffery."</p> + +<p>Sara spoke hotly. She felt up in arms against such a proposition.</p> + +<p>But Graham resented her impulsive speech.</p> + +<p>"Miss Darlington," he said in very determined tones, "you may be sure I +have my mother's welfare at heart as much as you. But she is softening, +and I am convinced that were she once to see my cousin, and hear her +speak of the past, she would see it with different eyes. Mrs. Jeffery's +life has been a very unhappy one, and my mother's attitude towards her +has intensified that unhappiness. My mother used to adore children, and +True, I firmly believe, would bring balm and peace to her heart and be +a veritable little peacemaker. We do not want to encourage my mother +in this morbid animosity towards one who has really been an innocent +victim of her dislike. I have promised to have my cousin and her child +the end of next week. And I never break a promise."</p> + +<p>"Oh!" cried Sara. "You are going to undo all my work, and plunge your +mother into the depths again. I must protest! I will! Your cousin ought +to have known better than to make you give her such a promise. You +are vexed with me. You think I have no right to object. But I do. I +shouldn't be human if I did not. And if you still persist in bringing +her to the house, I warn you that I shall circumvent you if I can!"</p> + +<p>Graham compressed his lips but said no more, and the rest of their +drive was taken in constrained silence: Sara in seething rebellion +against his decision, Graham in real annoyance at her attitude.</p> + +<p>When Sara alighted from the trap, she stood with flushed cheeks and a +proud poise of the head.</p> + +<p>"We are angry with each other now," she said, "but do not let your +mother see that we are. And do not, I implore you, touch upon this plan +before her to-night. Let her have some sleep. She needs so much, and +she will have none after she knows."</p> + +<p>"You are exaggerating," said Graham, coldly, "but I have no intention +of saying anything to my mother about the matter to-night."</p> + +<p>Sara heaved a sigh of relief and went upstairs.</p> + +<p>Graham shut himself into the dining-room. As he paced up and down, +with a furrow of anxiety and impatience across his brow, he caught the +sounds of Sara's bright cheerful voice in the room above. Once he heard +his mother's feeble laugh. He knew that a minute account of the garden +party was being given, and a certain regret crept into his heart that +he was not there to join in the talk. Then, he gave himself a mental +shake.</p> + +<p>"A very masterful young woman! She may manage my mother, but she will +not manage me."</p> + +<p>He contrasted her with the sweet plaintive young widow who, with a hand +laid lightly on his arm, had said—</p> + +<p>"Graham, if I could regain your mother's love and friendship, I should +be a happy woman. It is like a heavy burden weighing my spirit to the +ground. Let me only see her, and I know, I know I could make my peace +with her."</p> + +<p>Sara only came downstairs in time for the evening meal, and she talked +as usual upon various subjects. The one topic that was in both their +minds was not touched upon again.</p> + +<p>Graham sat with his mother afterwards, and her improved brightness and +animation only made him more determined than ever to keep his promise +to Mrs. Jeffery.</p> + +<p>"It could not harm her, and Eva is sweetness and gentleness itself. She +will have the tact necessary when seeing her."</p> + +<p>When the next morning came, Sara spoke to him at breakfast.</p> + +<p>"Will you let me plead for a redecision on your part upon having your +cousin here?"</p> + +<p>"No," he said; "I have weighed the matter well, and you are unduly +alarmed. I am convinced it may be the very best course to take with my +mother now. The final touch that will bring her peace and comfort of +mind. She is much better in health now—more reasonable in every way."</p> + +<p>Sara was mute.</p> + +<p>He looked across at her, and his tone softened a little.</p> + +<p>"I will do this if you like. I will invite Mrs. Jeffery over for the +day, and leave it to my mother to decide as to whether she should come +for a few days as our guest."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Sara, drawing a deep breath, "I have lain awake all night +trying to see a gleam of light in your suggestion, and my instinct and, +may I say, my common sense is dead against it. But I will not fight +you. I am here to help your mother, and I will do my best to see her +through it. When are you going to speak to her about the visit?"</p> + +<p>He hesitated.</p> + +<p>"I think you might do that."</p> + +<p>"I am afraid I must refuse."</p> + +<p>He looked at her with a cold smile.</p> + +<p>"I expected a refusal, but I gave you your opportunity. I had better +speak to her at once before I go out."</p> + +<p>Sara made no reply.</p> + +<p>He left the room and went upstairs.</p> + +<p>Sara stepped out into the garden. She found herself gripping the back +of a garden seat, and wondered at her own agitation.</p> + +<p>"If only he had waited a little longer, till she was out in this +beautiful air and sunshine! Oh, I hope he will be gentle and patient +with her!"</p> + +<p>She waited in suspense, then she heard the trap coming round, and +as she turned towards the house, Graham came out and stood upon the +doorstep.</p> + +<p>"It is all right," he said quietly, meeting her anxious gaze. "Mrs. +Jeffery comes to lunch on Friday next."</p> + +<p>She said nothing, but with swift step passed him, and made her way at +once to Mrs. Laird's room.</p> + +<p>The old lady was sitting in her easy-chair by the window. Her breakfast +tray was on the table by her side.</p> + +<p>Her hands were grasping the arms of her chair, but they were trembling, +and her sad, haunting eyes met Sara's with infinite pathos.</p> + +<p>"Come to me. I want you badly."</p> + +<p>Sara knelt down by her side, and spoke with her usual brightness.</p> + +<p>"Isn't it a lovely morning? Shall we have the bath-chair round in an +hour's time, and enjoy the air?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, my dear, my dear, don't you know? Hasn't Graham told you? That +woman is coming here—under our roof—to eat our bread—to force herself +upon me after all these years. How can I bear it? Will you help me? You +are my only help, my son is against his own mother!"</p> + +<p>She leant back in her cushions with a little moaning sigh.</p> + +<p>"Dear Mrs. Laird! I have been told about it, but you need not fret. She +is not worth it. Can you not show her that the past is past, and is not +to be reopened? As you are never down to lunch, you need not see her +for more than a moment or two. She seems—if I may say so—to crave for +your forgiveness and affection. And I will be with you when you see her +if you would like me to be. I will not leave you alone."</p> + +<p>"Yes—yes, you must be with me. I distrust her, I cannot help myself. +And Graham seems distressed to think I can't forgive. He is so +honourable himself, so big-hearted, that he cannot understand a woman's +feelings. Oh, Sara, my dear, I was beginning to have such peace, such +comfort, and now the darkness is coming back."</p> + +<p>"No, no, don't think such a thing for a moment. Ask yourself: Who has +given you this peace? Where does it come from?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird put her trembling hand on Sara's soft brown head. A little +smile came to her lips.</p> + +<p>"You told me it says that no man can take it away from me, but Graham +has been perilously near doing it this morning."</p> + +<p>"He cannot touch your soul. You have given that right away into God's +keeping."</p> + +<p>"So I thought I had, and the past with it. But the past is to be +reopened. She will confront me with the consequence of my evil temper. +Is it blotted out?" Then she added under her breath—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'There is plentiful redemption,<br> + In the Blood that has been shed.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara smiled, but the quick tears of pity and sympathy were dimming her +eyes.</p> + +<p>"Do you know," she said brightly, "I think you are bravely going to +crush the last of your shadows underfoot. You have always had a secret +dread of meeting Mrs. Jeffery again one day. Now, when you will have +seen her, this dread will leave you. A week hence, you will look back +and smile at your fears. And if you could make up your mind to forgive +her and tell her why you can do it now, it may do her all the good in +the world!"</p> + +<p>"But she has a child!"</p> + +<p>Sudden terror leapt into her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I told Graham she should not torture me by bringing her child here! He +did not press the point. That would be too much for me to bear! You'll +prevent that, Sara! Oh, my head! My head!"</p> + +<p>She sank back exhausted.</p> + +<p>Sara soothed her. But that was a trying morning, and Mrs. Laird was too +upset to go out in her wheel chair.</p> + +<p>Graham came home to lunch.</p> + +<p>Sara met him with no reproaches. She simply said—</p> + +<p>"Would it be possible for Mrs. Jeffery to come to lunch to-morrow? I +think it would be better for your mother if she did."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps she would be able to do so. You mean the sooner she comes the +better?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, the waiting and suspense is very wearing for your mother."</p> + +<p>"I thought she was very calm and reasonable about it when I talked to +her."</p> + +<p>"You must not let True come. I have promised that she shall not."</p> + +<p>He looked at her. And the faintest smile came to his lips.</p> + +<p>"I did not know you could speak so disagreeably," he said.</p> + +<p>"I feel disagreeable," said Sara, meeting his gaze with calmness. "I am +really anxious. And I wonder why men's instincts are so faulty. But we +won't discuss the subject."</p> + +<p>"No, we will not," Graham said. "Are you going out this afternoon?"</p> + +<p>"I don't think I will leave your mother to-day."</p> + +<p>"Then I will ride over myself to the farm. I thought that perhaps you +could have taken a message."</p> + +<p>Sara mentally congratulated herself upon escaping such an errand.</p> + +<p>She spent the afternoon with Mrs. Laird, but persuaded her to come down +and sit in the garden. The old lady was still much perturbed. Sara read +aloud to her, hoping to distract her thoughts from the unhappy past.</p> + +<p>But Mrs. Laird did not 'listen, and at last put her hand on the book.</p> + +<p>"Stop reading, and talk to me. I suppose Graham has gone over to see +Eva?"</p> + +<p>"I think he is going to ask her to come to-morrow."</p> + +<p>"Is it not an extraordinary thing that a woman of her type should make +every one believe in her? And, Sara, the conviction has come to me this +afternoon, that she will follow her former tactics, and turn my only +son against me."</p> + +<p>"Oh no, no. You must not think such a thing. Your son is devoted to +you. Think of all his loving care—"</p> + +<p>"And sacrifice! I know now that he has sacrificed himself for me all +these years. I used not to care, but I do care now. I was struggling +with my selfishness and resolving to fight with my fears, and come out +amongst people again for his sake, but now, oh, I can't think! You have +seen her, you say she is a sweet attractive woman. I know how weak, how +blinded men are! Do you think my cup of sorrow is not yet full? Shall I +be forced to welcome her as a daughter-in-law?"</p> + +<p>"I think you are very wrong in entertaining such a thought. Now, shall +I sing to you? Shall I fetch my guitar?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird sighed heavily.</p> + +<p>"I don't think that even your music could cheer me to-day."</p> + +<p>But Sara made the attempt, and her sweet little songs brought some +relief to Mrs. Laird's brain.</p> + +<p>The weary day was over at last. Sara laid her head upon her pillow with +a prayer that strength and grace would be given for the morrow.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_9">CHAPTER IX</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A DIFFICULT MEETING</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE next morning Sara was too busy to spend much time in thinking. +Visitors had not been to any meal in the house for years, and Mrs. +Thwaites and Izzie seemed quite unequal to the occasion. Sara was +in the garden gathering flowers, then dusting and arranging the two +sitting-rooms, and finally out in the kitchen helping Mrs. Thwaites, +who was a very indifferent cook, to prepare an appetizing little +luncheon.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird was very quiet and resigned. She refused to come down to +lunch, but said she would see Mrs. Jeffery afterwards. The piteous, +nervous look in her eyes haunted Sara. She felt that she would like to +have taken Graham by his two broad shoulders and given him a thorough +good shaking.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Jeffery arrived at half-past twelve, and walked about the garden +with Graham till lunch was ready. She greeted Sara pleasantly, but a +little indifferently. And when they sat down to lunch, confined her +remarks to Graham.</p> + +<p>At last, Mrs. Laird's name was mentioned.</p> + +<p>"I hope it will not distress her to see me," Mrs. Jeffery said in her +sweet plaintive voice. "If she only knew what a longing I have had to +see her again! And she is really much better in health now, is she not? +I dare say time has healed things."</p> + +<p>Then Sara spoke. It was quite unpremeditated, and afterwards she +wondered that she had done so.</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Laird is better, or she would not be able to see you to-day," she +said. "But time has not effaced the past. And of course, your presence +here reopens much. She is agitated and perturbed in consequence. But +I believe you could do much to ease her mind. I hope you will be able +to do it. She is certain to refer to the past. If she does, will you +assure her of the fact that she never laid her hand upon her little +grandchild when her accident happened. She did not touch her, as you +know."</p> + +<p>Graham looked up quickly.</p> + +<p>There was a quiet challenge in Sara's eyes as she faced Mrs. Jeffery +that brought the colour to the young widow's cheeks.</p> + +<p>"No, of course she did not touch her," she said hastily. "I was in the +hall below, and saw the child fall."</p> + +<p>"Just assure Mrs. Laird of that," said Sara, quietly. "Though she +knows the fact herself, in her ill health she has sometimes imagined +otherwise; and it is good for her to be reassured on that point."</p> + +<p>"But—" began Graham.</p> + +<p>Sara flashed such an imperious frowning glance upon him that he stopped +short.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps my mother would rather not talk of the past at all," he said a +little lamely.</p> + +<p>But neither Mrs. Jeffery nor Sara responded to this.</p> + +<p>Half an hour afterwards, Sara was sitting by Mrs. Laird's side, when +Mrs. Jeffery was brought in by Graham.</p> + +<p>It was a tense moment for all, and perhaps Mrs. Jeffery was the one who +saved the situation.</p> + +<p>"Dear Cousin Rachael, thank you for seeing me. Please don't get up. I +have so often wanted to ask your forgiveness for my unwise behaviour in +the past."</p> + +<p>She had both Mrs. Laird's hands in hers as she spoke, and in a pretty +foreign fashion bent her lips to them and kissed them.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird made an effort to speak, but could not.</p> + +<p>Graham hurriedly began to make conversation.</p> + +<p>"Eva has been living at a farm on the Fells, mother. Her little girl +is delicate, but she is now going to Brighton with her mother. Do you +remember our first visit to Brighton—when we were boys? We had had the +whooping cough." He stopped.</p> + +<p>The allusion to his brother brought a shadow across his mother's face. +She sank back in her chair. Then she said—</p> + +<p>"Will you wait downstairs, Graham? There are too many of us in the +room. I feel I cannot breathe. No, Sara, do not leave me. You are the +only one I want. Now, Eva, what is it you want to say to me?"</p> + +<p>Sara was surprised at the quiet composure of her tone.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Jeffery looked a little disconcerted.</p> + +<p>"I don't know that I want to say more than I have already said. I want +you to be friends with me again."</p> + +<p>She glanced nervously at Graham as he was leaving the room. She had not +imagined that he would desert her at this juncture.</p> + +<p>"I think," said Sara, slowly, "that you were going to tell Mrs. Laird +that you saw that she did not touch the child when she fell. That she +never laid her hand upon her."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird lent forward in her chair. Her dark sad eyes were fixed +intently upon the young widow. "I should like to hear the truth," she +said.</p> + +<p>"Of course, Cousin Rachael, you did not touch her. Why should you +imagine that you did?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Jeffery spoke feverishly. She had spoken hastily downstairs +without a thought of the consequences of her admission. Now she began +to remember more of the past, and wondered if Mrs. Laird did. She was +not left in doubt.</p> + +<p>"I imagined I might have done so though my heart told me I did not, +when you told my son that you saw me strike her down. But let the past +be past, Eva. May you find, as I have done, the source of peace for +misdeeds of words and acts. You cannot undo what you have done, but you +can be sorry for it. And I am not going to judge you. If you have a +child, train her to guard her lips against hypocrisy and untruths."</p> + +<p>Sara had turned away whilst Mrs. Laird was speaking. She felt +uncomfortable at being forced to be present at this interview, and +stood looking out of the window upon the blue lake and encircling hills +in the distance.</p> + +<p>She heard a little sob come from Mrs. Jeffery.</p> + +<p>"Oh, you are still hard upon me! You never liked me, and I have always +craved for your affection. I am alone in the world now. They say there +is nothing like kinship. I hoped we might draw nearer together."</p> + +<p>"You have your child to live for. I am alone in the world too, but I +have a son, and I am content."</p> + +<p>"I hope you are not angry at my coming to-day?"</p> + +<p>"No, I am not angry. Let us bury the past. The world is large enough +for you and me to live our own lives in it without jarring one another. +Now, as this is my rest time I must say good-bye to you."</p> + +<p>Then Sara turned.</p> + +<p>Without a word Mrs. Jeffery took the hand Mrs. Laird offered her, and +left the room.</p> + +<p>When the door had closed upon her, Mrs. Laird lay back in her chair +with a weary sigh.</p> + +<p>Sara arranged her cushions with loving care.</p> + +<p>"Now I am going to leave you for an hour. Get some sleep if you can. +And we won't think or talk about this visit any more to-day."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird smiled at her.</p> + +<p>"You are one of the most tactful people I have ever met. I can't talk. +My heart is so lacerated and hurt. I will try to rest, but sleep is +impossible."</p> + +<p>Then Sara left her and went to her room where she tried to write some +letters. But she was painfully conscious of the young widow pacing up +and down the garden paths with Graham, and talking in low earnest tones +as she did so.</p> + +<p>At last, the dog-cart came round, and Graham drove her away in it.</p> + +<p>Sara purposely did not go down. She knew that Mrs. Jeffery had bitterly +resented her being present at the interview with Mrs. Laird, and had +she known that the old lady would show such force and composure, she +would not have stayed.</p> + +<p>At tea-time she went back to Mrs. Laird, but talked brightly to her on +different topics, and then brought out her guitar and began to sing.</p> + +<p>Graham slipped into the room before she finished.</p> + +<p>And then Sara left mother and son together. She did not see Graham +alone till late in the evening. And then as she came into the +sitting-room, she saw him at his writing-desk, turning over packets of +old letters and carefully reading them through.</p> + +<p>He looked up at her.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "I can hardly say my cousin's visit has been a +success, but at least my mother seems none the worse for it in spite of +all your gloomy prognostications!"</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, quietly. "The relief at finding her instincts true, +after all, has done her good. As I know all the sad story, can I speak?"</p> + +<p>"Of course."</p> + +<p>Graham turned in his chair as Sara took a seat by the open window.</p> + +<p>"Do you realize the tremendous importance to your mother of your +cousin's assertion that she never laid a hand upon the child?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Graham, slowly; "and I am trying to find my brother's +letter to me at the time. He misunderstood the facts."</p> + +<p>"He got the facts from your cousin."</p> + +<p>"You speak as bitterly as my mother. I hardly think that is the case. +Or in his grief he must have distorted them. Ah, this is his letter +which he wrote to me at the time."</p> + +<p>For a moment there was silence, whilst Graham unfolded the +foreign-looking letter in his hand. His brows were knitted in +perplexity as he read. He folded it up with a sigh.</p> + +<p>"He says in it that my mother struck the child, that Eva saw her do it. +It is very sad, perplexing, but does it do any good now to rake up all +the past? It was an accident."</p> + +<p>"Yes, let us leave it at that. But your mother knows now that it was +not her actual hand that killed the child, and I am glad for her +sake that that point has been cleared. Is Mrs. Jeffery leaving the +neighbourhood this week?"</p> + +<p>"I do not know exactly. I think she is."</p> + +<p>"You will not bring her over here again?"</p> + +<p>Graham made an impatient movement in his chair.</p> + +<p>"Upon my word, Miss Darlington, you do try to manage us all!"</p> + +<p>Sara rose. "I beg your pardon," she said, and left the room.</p> + +<p>They did not meet again that evening. She felt vexed with him, and he +was angry with her.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>But the next morning they met at breakfast as if nothing had occurred +to annoy them. Only just as Graham was leaving the table, he spoke to +her—</p> + +<p>"Forgive my hasty words last night, Miss Darlington. I know you have my +mother's interests at heart, and nobody else is of any consequence at +all!"</p> + +<p>He smiled as he finished his sentence, and Sara looked up at him with +her frank pleasant laugh.</p> + +<p>"You are right," she said; "I think of no one but your mother. I want +her to get perfectly happy and well, and would sweep away all the +hindrances to it with a ruthless hand."</p> + +<p>"Shall we take her out upon the lake this afternoon? I shall have a +couple of hours' leisure; and it is a lovely day."</p> + +<p>"It will be delightful if I can manage it."</p> + +<p>So peace was made between them, and Mrs. Jeffery was not mentioned +again.</p> + +<p>What Mrs. Laird had said to her son Sara never knew. She was singularly +calm now that the dreaded visit was over.</p> + +<p>When Sara came to tell her of the proposed boating expedition, she laid +her hand on her arm and said—</p> + +<p>"I will come if Graham wishes it. Sara, cannot you and I make him happy +here?"</p> + +<p>Sara knew what was her underlying thought. She answered lightly—</p> + +<p>"I think he is happy, Mrs. Laird. We all are, are we not?"</p> + +<p>"I never thought I could be," said Mrs. Laird in a low tone, "but the +relief that came to me yesterday has almost made me so. I am not going +to look back at the past. I prayed this morning that as my sins had +been forgiven me, so I might forgive hers. One sinner has no right to +condemn another sinner. And I am not going to fear the future. I am +even anticipating a delightful old age, if what I wish comes to pass."</p> + +<p>Sara did not ask what that wish was.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>That afternoon, Mrs. Laird was very carefully wheeled down in her chair +to the lake, Graham settled her comfortably in the boat, Sara steered, +and he rowed.</p> + +<p>It was an exquisite afternoon. The hills were purple with heather and +ling, the lake reflected the deep blue sky, and a soft breeze fanned +their faces as they slowly glided along.</p> + +<p>"You're enjoying it, mother?" Graham asked, looking at her with fond +affection.</p> + +<p>"I only wish we three could be always together like this," said Mrs. +Laird with fervour.</p> + +<p>Graham smiled.</p> + +<p>Sara glanced at him.</p> + +<p>With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, in his white boating +flannels, and his straw hat shading his face, he looked this afternoon +ten years younger than he was. There was a briskness and energy about +him, and a brightness in his eyes, that was quite unusual.</p> + +<p>Sara herself irradiated sunshine round her. Her grey eyes were shining +with deep content. And she lapsed into a happy reverie from which she +was roused by Mrs. Laird asking her to sing to them.</p> + +<p>"You promised me to bring your guitar."</p> + +<p>"So I have," said Sara, "but I cannot steer and play at the same time."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'll manage the boat," said Graham.</p> + +<p>"What shall I sing?" asked Sara. "It must be something bright!"</p> + +<p>Then she broke into a little song which Mrs. Laird loved.</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"Over the water lives my dear love<br> + And I call him when I want him,<br> + Over the water he hies to me<br> + And oftentimes I flaunt him.<br> + <br> +"Over the water he thinks of me<br> + He loves me, oh, so dearly!<br> + His heart is too deep for me to reach,<br> + I'm tired of trying—nearly!<br> + <br> +"Over the water I love him much,<br> + But when he comes to woo me,<br> + I laugh and make light of all he says<br> + For the fear of love goes through me.<br> + <br> +"Over the water my love falls ill,<br> + I die with anxiety—nearly.<br> + Over the water I haste to him,<br> + I love him, oh so dearly!"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara's voice always pourtrayed the words she sang. There was a +tremulous intensity in her last notes that made Graham suddenly raise +his eyes and look at her.</p> + +<p>And she was startled to see a fire and passion in his face that she had +never conceived could be existent beneath his grave cold exterior. For +a moment, it almost took her breath away, she gazed away over the lake, +feeling her pulses throb in an inexplicable fashion.</p> + +<p>Then Mrs. Laird urged her to sing again, and this time she took care +that it should be no love song.</p> + +<p>When she put her guitar down, they were silent for a time, then Graham +began to tell a country legend about a certain headland overlooking the +lake.</p> + +<p>"Sir Malcolm's house was once a monastery, and long ago the abbot there +used to go up to that headland and pray. One moonlight night, he was +startled by a strange hand being placed on his shoulder, but turn as +he would, he could not see the stranger behind him. All he heard was, +'Pray to the one who holds you.' And he knew it was the Devil who +spoke. Then ensued a fearful struggle, for the abbot said he owned only +the Master to Whom he prayed. The Devil tried to hurl him into the +lake, and at last, as the abbot felt his strength departing, he sank to +his knees crying: 'Into Thy Hands, Lord, I commend my spirit.'</p> + +<p>"With a wild cry the Devil fled, the abbot was saved and lived many +years after, but the imprint of his knees, they say, are still to be +seen on the rock over there."</p> + +<p>"That's rather nice," Sara said, then she added, almost under her +breath—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'And Satan trembles when he sees<br> + The weakest saint upon his knees.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird looked at her with a smile.</p> + +<p>"It's true," she said quietly. "Prayer is power."</p> + +<p>"I wish I could believe that," said Graham, looking at his mother +thoughtfully.</p> + +<p>"Sara will make you believe it," said Mrs. Laird, quickly. "She made +me—and I've proved it true. Only prayer, my dear Graham, enabled me to +meet and talk with Eva yesterday. Only prayer makes me able to forgive +her for her false statements so long ago."</p> + +<p>"We won't think of the past," Sara said gaily. "Look at the sun on the +hills! What exquisite colouring!"</p> + +<p>She saw the shadow coming over Mrs. Laird's face again. If she forgave, +she could not forget, and Sara wanted her mind to have a rest.</p> + +<p>They glided on until they nearly reached the opposite side, and then +they found it was time to return.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird was much the better for her outing. And when she retired to +rest for the night, she called Sara to her.</p> + +<p>"I keep thinking of the legend Graham told us of. How true it is to +life! I feel I have been in the Devil's grip for all these years, but +you have taught me to pray, and his power over me has gone. I am so +thankful and happy, my dear. And am even glad that I saw Eva yesterday. +She rolled such a weight off me when she told me that I never touched +my darling. If only Edmund had not believed her when she told him the +contrary! But I won't think of it. I am going to try to make up to my +son for all the gloom and crossness and unsociability of these past +years. You will help me, will you not, and don't lose patience if I +sometimes lapse into gloom? God will help me to conquer. I have been a +selfish woman all my life, but I want to serve the One Who has forgiven +me and given me peace."</p> + +<p>Sara kissed her warmly, but could hardly trust herself to speak. Mrs. +Laird was almost like a little child in her simple pathos. She seemed +now to have come out into the clear shining after rain, and Sara could +hardly believe sometimes that she was the same woman as the one who +had greeted her a few months before with such irritable impatience and +scorn.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_10">CHAPTER X</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>GRAHAM'S DEPARTURE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"DO you think you could take care of my mother whilst I go to town for +a few days?"</p> + +<p>"Most certainly," replied Sara, promptly. "We are always happy +together."</p> + +<p>Graham had never before left home for even a night. His request almost +amused Sara; and he was quick to catch the sparkle in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I suppose you think I don't do much in the way of looking after my +mother? But before you came, she refused to go to bed unless she was +assured that I was close to her."</p> + +<p>"I quite believe it. Now she can spare you easily; and I hope you will +take more than a few days if you can. It will do you a lot of good. +Don't you think we all need change from our surroundings sometimes?"</p> + +<p>"I am content. One learns to adapt one's self to one's circumstances."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird offered no objections to her son's proposed visit to town.</p> + +<p>And he left early one morning, saying he would be back in three days' +time.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Later that same day Sara went out for a ramble over the hills. The +bracken was already tinged with gold, the heather dying, and the young +gorse beginning to bloom. She took Snooks with her, and paid a visit to +the herb doctor's daughter.</p> + +<p>She found the latter busy taking some honey from her beehives, and Sara +watched the operation with the greatest interest. Then they sat down on +a rough bench outside the little hut, and began to talk. Agnes had by +this time lost all her shyness and reserve; and she and Sara were the +best of friends.</p> + +<p>As Sara looked over the exquisite range of hills and valleys with the +golden sunshine stealing across them, and the shadows of the clouds +above following in its track, she drew a long breath of delight.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I wish I lived up here, Agnes; I don't think I should ever get +tired of looking out over these lovely hills. One feels such rest and +peace in one's soul in lovely scenery like this."</p> + +<p>"I think different people feel different," said Agnes; "I never took +much notice when I was miserable. How is Mrs. Laird?"</p> + +<p>"Very much brighter and happier in every way."</p> + +<p>"I always look upon her and myself as a bit alike in our experience," +said Agnes, slowly. "'Tis strange that you should be friends with both +of us, but I s'pose you go through life hunting out the gloomy."</p> + +<p>"Indeed, I don't," said Sara, smiling. "It was quite by accident we +came across each other."</p> + +<p>Agnes nodded.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I was much put about when I saw you first. But I can't thank you +enough for putting me on to my Bible. I read it in the evenings, and +lately I've been reading a bit here and there to father. It's good to +think of another life to come, when this is such a poor failure."</p> + +<p>"I won't allow that, Agnes. We have our rough bits of road and cloudy +days, but you have a good many years before you yet—at least I hope +you have—and there's no reason why you should not live those years in +sunshine."</p> + +<p>"Oh, miss! How can I?"</p> + +<p>Sara looked at her affectionately.</p> + +<p>"Open your heart to the real Sun, Agnes. The Bible tells you of Him. If +He comes inside you, your life can become a glory!"</p> + +<p>Agnes drew a long breath.</p> + +<p>"Tell me how you feel," she said. "You look as if sunshine be bursting +out of you all over."</p> + +<p>Sara could not help laughing, and her laugh was so infectious that +Agnes joined her.</p> + +<p>"I'm not one for an example," she said, "but I must say I can't help +feeling happy. This summer weather is delicious, and my invalid is +getting cheerier every day, and there's so much to do that wants doing, +and our unseen Friend, Agnes, is so tender and loving, such a Guide and +Protector!"</p> + +<p>"I wish I knew Him as you do."</p> + +<p>Then Sara sat and talked to her of that Friend, and Agnes's heart +quickened and glowed as she listened.</p> + +<p>When Sara at last left her, promising to come again soon, it was +already late in the afternoon. She was hastening downhill when a loud +whistle behind her made her turn round. It was Colonel Fleming.</p> + +<p>He overtook her.</p> + +<p>"Quite breathless with the chase!" he exclaimed. "How you do fly along! +May I come back with you for a cup of tea?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, do. I believe Mrs. Laird will see you. We are going to have it in +the garden."</p> + +<p>"And so the stay-at-home has gone to have his fling! Saw him and Mrs. +Jeffery this morning at the station. They went off together."</p> + +<p>Sara did not show her surprise.</p> + +<p>"He will only be away for a few days. It will be very good for him to +have the change."</p> + +<p>"Won't it just! I say, Miss Darlington, do you think you could persuade +him to come up to Scotland with me in a month's time? I'm going to +shoot with an old pal of ours. I go every year; and last year we did +our utmost to get Graham up there. But his mother is so much better +now, he might be persuaded. Is it rough on you if he goes? Would you be +lonely?"</p> + +<p>"I don't really know the meaning of that word," said Sara, smiling at +his sudden concern for her. "I have been the one woman in the house +ever since I left school, first with my father, then with my brother; +and you know the ways of men!—Always out, and liking their womenkind +always in!"</p> + +<p>"Yes—yes—I believe we do. I hate now coming into an empty house with +nobody to greet me—well—you'll try and do what you can to make Graham +go with me. Wish you'd seen him some years ago—he has fossilized +here—no spring or energy in him, and he used to be a first-class shot +too; Ferris won't preserve—and there's not much shooting about here. My +own is very poor. Lyle—the chap who's asked me to his shooting-box—has +got splendid covers and sport. He and Graham did some game-hunting +together in India and I joined them for a time. It would be like old +times to have Graham with us again."</p> + +<p>"We will try to make him go," said Sara.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming talked hard till they reached the house.</p> + +<p>They found Mrs. Laird pacing up and down the garden paths enjoying +Sara's bright flower border. Just for an instant, from long habit, she +began to retire to the house, when she saw that Sara was not alone, but +the Colonel stepped blithely forward—</p> + +<p>"May I have a cup of tea, Mrs. Laird? So glad to hear you're better. +If I'm going to drive you indoors, I'll go—I forced myself upon Miss +Darlington. Graham and I often have tea and a smoke at this time +together."</p> + +<p>"I shall be very glad if you will stay," said Mrs. Laird, seating +herself in an easy-chair under an acacia tree; "my son is away."</p> + +<p>"Yes, so I heard—glad he was able to have a change. Ferris is a beggar +for keeping his agents hard at it. You don't know him, do you, Mrs. +Laird? No loss, I can tell you. He and I had words the other day over +boundary marks. And I said to him,—</p> + +<p>"'Look here, sir, you've your own property, and so have I. It don't +matter whether we possess one acre or a million, but the rights of +owners have to be respected, and I jolly well respect mine, I can tell +you!'</p> + +<p>"The little bounder began to jaw, but I jawed too, and when once my +tongue is loose, I can tell you nobody can get an innings!"</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming was now leaning back in a garden chair perfectly +at ease, and Sara saw to her delight that Mrs. Laird was quietly +interested in his talk. She poured out tea and took a part in the +conversation.</p> + +<p>And when the Colonel eventually departed, Mrs. Laird said thoughtfully—</p> + +<p>"I can understand Graham's affection for that man. He is his only +friend in these parts, but he's such cheery company."</p> + +<p>"I have never seen him anything but cheerful," said Sara. "He gets +pleasure out of everything."</p> + +<p>"Like yourself. It was a fortunate day when you came to me, Sara. You +have made life very different to me, and to Graham too. He sees the +difference in the house. I wonder what business has taken him to town?"</p> + +<p>Sara was wondering that too. She did not tell Mrs. Laird that Mrs. +Jeffery had gone up to town with him. She hardly knew herself if it +was prearranged or mere coincidence. She hoped the latter, and then +resolutely turned her mind from dwelling upon the subject.</p> + +<p>"It has nothing to do with me. They are cousins, and he has a right to +help her if she needs a man's help."</p> + +<p>But a letter from Graham to his mother, bearing the Brighton postmark, +made her very thoughtful. It arrived two days later, and Sara took it +to Mrs. Laird upon her breakfast tray. Mrs. Laird smiled as she took it +into her hand.</p> + +<p>"You wouldn't believe how few letters I have received from Graham. For +fourteen years he has never been away from me."</p> + +<p>Then she put on her spectacles and began to read it. Her smile soon +faded. She looked up at Sara, with fear in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"Eva has got hold of him. He is with her at Brighton—says she has got +into some legal worry over a furnished house she has taken there, and +has gone down to straighten matters out. Oh, my dear, I fear, I fear +she means to marry him!"</p> + +<p>"Oh no, why should she?" said Sara, trying to speak carelessly. "She +has the whole world to choose from. I think myself, if she marries +again, it will be to somebody who can give her more than your son can. +Forgive my plain speaking."</p> + +<p>"Yes—yes, I know, and Eva always thought a good deal of wealth and +position. He says he may be away a little longer than he intended."</p> + +<p>"It will do him good," Sara said. "We shall get on very well by +ourselves."</p> + +<p>But both she and Mrs. Laird missed Graham a good deal. The absence of a +man in the house made itself felt, and the evenings, which were already +drawing in, seemed very long.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>A fortnight elapsed before he returned, and then one day he wired, and +arrived a few hours after his wire.</p> + +<p>Sara had planned a surprise for him. The little drawing-room was in +use; a small bright fire burned in the grate; and Mrs. Laird was down, +and sitting in the easy-chair, her work-table at her side. The room was +bright with flowers.</p> + +<p>Graham could at first hardly believe his eyes. His mother stood up and +greeted him.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I am in possession here. Has not Sara made the room pretty? And I +have been dining downstairs for some days now. I have become tired of +my bedroom."</p> + +<p>"It's like old times, mother."</p> + +<p>He said little, but his face glowed. He had returned much brighter in +spirits, and had a good deal to tell them of several old friends he had +come across in town.</p> + +<p>"And Eva?" asked Mrs. Laird, quietly. "How is she?"</p> + +<p>"Not very well. She has been having a lot of worries. I settled the +matter of the house, but she is looking for a good boarding-school for +her child, and it seems to involve a good bit of fatigue and anxiety."</p> + +<p>"True is rather small for a boarding-school," said Sara.</p> + +<p>"I don't know. I think I advised it. Hotel and boarding-house life +isn't good for a small child. And Eva doesn't care for housekeeping. +This furnished house gave her such a lot of trouble that she declares +she will never try another."</p> + +<p>The subject was dropped. When dinner was over, they all returned to the +drawing-room. Graham could not get over the strangeness of having his +mother downstairs again. But before many days had passed, it seemed +perfectly natural. Mrs. Laird still breakfasted in her room, but +appeared to lunch, and was downstairs for the rest of the day.</p> + +<p>And when Colonel Fleming came over, he joined the family circle as +a matter of course. Mrs. Laird was always quiet, but took part in +conversation now, and was increasingly interested in matters concerning +the outside world, from which she had retired for so many years.</p> + +<p>And then Colonel Fleming broached the subject of the Scotch shooting +visit. A letter came from Sir Douglas Lyle urging Graham to accompany +him, and after much persuasion from every one, Graham at last gave way, +and said he would go.</p> + +<p>The night before he went, he talked to Sara about it.</p> + +<p>"Of course it is you who have brought this about," he said, looking at +her with a gleam of amusement in his eyes. "You are longing to boss +the whole show here, and get rid of me. I am convinced that my mother +would never have agreed to it had you not worked upon her feelings in +private. Have you any wicked plans or devices up your sleeve?"</p> + +<p>Sara stood against the fire in the drawing-room as he spoke. One of her +slender feet was on the fender. She was dressed in a plain powder-blue +velveteen gown, a little open at the neck. Very graceful and queenly +she looked, and when she raised her eyes to his they looked rather +wistful than gay, though she spoke as lightly as he.</p> + +<p>"If I had, I would not produce them for your benefit. You must thank +the Colonel and your mutual friend Sir Douglas Lyle for the invitation, +not me! I have nothing to do with it. But we are all agreed that a +change of air and scene will be good for you."</p> + +<p>"Indeed? Am I such a surly brute that you look forward to my absence +with pleasure?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, calmly, "you are not surly now. You were when I first +came. But no man or woman thrives when they are left too long in the +same rut. And this is a very small corner for a man to live his life +in, year in and year out. You must remember circumstances are changing. +You have steeled and trained yourself to a life of restraint and +repression until you were almost becoming mechanical in your ways. Now +we all want to shake you out of that life. The cause and reason of it +is being removed."</p> + +<p>"What a very poor creature I am in your sight." There was bitterness in +his tone.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Mr. Laird, what have I said to make you think that? If you only +knew—why, you are simply a marvel to me! Don't let us misunderstand +each other to-night. But, believe me, your mother herself wants you to +go. It will bring balm to her spirit when she realizes that she is no +longer a tie to you here. And I think you will bring her the greatest +pleasure when you return with all your news. She will be so freshened +up to hear it, so interested in all that you can tell her."</p> + +<p>"I suppose it is egotism on my part, but I should like to feel that I +shall be missed."</p> + +<p>"Oh, we can assure you of that," said Sara, with one of her soft +laughs. "But you will not see us with long faces till you are out of +the house. Would it comfort you to know that we shall feel deadly flat +and depressed when you are really gone?"</p> + +<p>Then Graham smiled in his turn.</p> + +<p>"I hope you will take care of yourselves," he said; "and remember if +anything occurs to make you need a man, send for Fleming or wire for +me."</p> + +<p>Sara nodded, and said no more.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird had a few last words with her son, and there were tears in +her eyes as she wished him good-bye. But when he had driven away, she +put her hand on Sara's arm.</p> + +<p>"I never thought that I could live in this house without him. But you +are such a tower of strength to me! And I realize now that he ought to +see more of his old friends. I have asked him to call upon a cousin +of ours who lives near the Border. She is the only relative of mine +now living. Rather an eccentric woman she used to be, but perhaps you +would not call her so. I remember I thought her very good and very +narrow, but full of good works. She simply lives for the welfare of her +tenants. There is coal on her property, and she treats the colliers in +the most marvellous way. She told me she felt responsible for every +soul amongst them. Can you imagine the sort of woman she is?"</p> + +<p>"A very delightful sort, I should think," said Sara.</p> + +<p>She and Mrs. Laird had a quiet but happy time together. It was a fine +autumn and they spent much of their time out of doors. Sara was very +busy tidying up the garden. She raked and swept the paths, and with +the help of Samuel made big bonfires of weeds and hedge prunings. Mrs. +Laird looked on with great interest, and suggested that they should +look over a bulb catalogue together, and send for a nice supply to +plant at once.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>One day Sara was surprised by a letter from Colonel Fleming. He wrote, +he said, to ask her if she would mind asking the herb doctor to go and +see one of his dogs.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "My housekeeper," he wrote, "has told me Trust is ailing and won't eat +her food. When you are rambling over the hills, I know you will not +mind asking him to go over and have a look at her. We're having good +sport here. Graham doesn't know himself amongst so many of his old +pals. And who do you think arrived yesterday? Mrs. Jeffery! There is +quite a big house-party. Mrs. J—, I heard, asked herself. She knows +Lady Lyle, but they are not very intimate. Why is Mrs. J— making such a +dead set at Graham? She's not half good enough for him. And I shall do +my best to frustrate her efforts. This might be a cackle from some old +maid, might it not? Well—so long! My kind regards to Mrs. Laird. You +should both be up here. I'll bring Graham back heart whole if I can. I +don't cotton to Mrs. J—. Never did!<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 12.5em;">"Yours,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 14em;">"JACK FLEMING."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara did not read this letter to Mrs. Laird, but it depressed her. She +felt annoyed with Colonel Fleming for gossiping, and yet she knew he +must have had good grounds for writing so. She went off to the herb +doctor that same afternoon, but there was a weight on her spirits which +would not lift.</p> + +<p>"Why should it matter to me?" she asked herself impatiently. "If a +man likes a woman well enough to propose to her, nobody can stop him. +Graham won't be her 'victim.' He will do it of set deliberate purpose. +It is Mrs. Laird who will be the chief sufferer! Oh, what fools some +men are! How entirely they judge by the surface! What can he have in +common with Eva Jeffery? And how can a woman of her butterfly tastes +expect a grave-thinking man like Graham Laird to content her for life? +It will be disaster—I know it will!"</p> + +<p>Not even the fresh mountain air could exhilarate her. She went and +returned in the same low spirits, and it was well for her that she +could not brood over her bit of news when in Mrs. Laird's company. +She forced herself to be cheerful then, and, as is often the way, she +succeeded in bringing back a certain amount of brightness into her own +soul, as she was making the effort to brighten another.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_11">CHAPTER XI</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A YOUNG VISITOR</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>COLONEL FLEMING was the first one to return, and he came round to see +Mrs. Laird at once.</p> + +<p>"Graham has gone to Dalby," he informed her. "Some relative of yours +there, eh? He'll be following me in a few days' time. His change has +done him a lot of good, Mrs. Laird. He was in first-rate form, and his +shooting took the cake!"</p> + +<p>"We are expecting him in three days' time," said Mrs. Laird. "I hope +you all enjoyed yourselves."</p> + +<p>"Oh, it was great sport. Quite a big house-party. I told you Mrs. +Jeffery turned up."</p> + +<p>"Not Eva?" said Mrs. Laird in astonishment.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming gave a little chuckle.</p> + +<p>"Clever young woman she is," he said.</p> + +<p>Sara suddenly frowned at him; and her frowns were so unusual that he +gave an embarrassed cough.</p> + +<p>"Er—well—she's a pretty young woman, Mrs. Laird, eh? And a great +favourite with some of the fellows there. She's not there now, you +know. Left when we did. We travelled part of the way together."</p> + +<p>"How is your farm getting on?" Sara asked.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming immediately plunged into a list of delinquencies on the +part of his men in his absence, and Sara kept him busy on that topic +till he went.</p> + +<p>She accompanied him to the hall door, and said then—</p> + +<p>"I do wish you would not mention Mrs. Jeffery in conversation with Mrs. +Laird. Don't you know that she does not like her?"</p> + +<p>"Awfully sorry! But 'pon my word she is a minx! Do you know she's +made Graham her child's sole guardian and trustee? And such a lot of +confidential business she transacts with him! I got hold of her one day +and tried to warn her that he never would be a marrying man.</p> + +<p>"'Such stuff to make him a trustee for your child!' I said to her. 'Why +don't you marry again and let your husband do it? Lots of chaps waiting +for you to encourage them a bit!'</p> + +<p>"And then she looks at me with her big reproachful eyes. 'Graham is the +only relation I have in the world!' she says. 'If I can't turn to him, +whom can I turn to?'</p> + +<p>"'Well,' I said, 'of course he'll be a single unattached man to the end +of his life—told me so the other day—so he'll have more time to give to +the business perhaps.'</p> + +<p>"She gave a little ghost of a smile and walked away. She always walked +away from me, but I put Charlie Carter on her track—told him she had a +fat little income, and was feeling her lonely state. He admired her, +likes womanly women you know, and he haunted her steps, has got her +address at Brighton, and means to turn up there soon. My dear Miss +Darlington, I'd rather see Graham married to your Izzie than to that +young lady! There's something slimy about her! Can't help myself! I +never could cotton to her when she was here, but I dare say that's +because she didn't like me. She has a way of pleasantly ignoring +anybody that won't be of any use to her!"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Sara, laughing, "Mr. Laird is able to look after himself, +I think, and if he is fond of her, you must stand back and let him have +his desire."</p> + +<p>"I never will!" said Colonel Fleming, stamping upon the ground +energetically. "I've looked after him too long. Miss Darlington, Graham +is a chap who lives for other people, not himself. And those sort +want to be protected. If he thought a woman wanted him, he would give +himself away to her out of sheer cussedness of generosity! It wouldn't +matter about his life at all, only about hers. And I'm not going to see +him make a mess of his affairs as—as I've done."</p> + +<p>His tone softened. Sara spoke very quietly.</p> + +<p>"My dear Colonel, Mr. Laird would not be at all likely to desert his +mother or bring a wife into her house whom she would not welcome. +You say yourself that he told you he had no intention of being ever +anything but a bachelor. Does not that content you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes, of course I'm a fool, an old fool. Good-bye, take care of +yourself. You look a little fagged. Had any hill rambles lately?"</p> + +<p>"Not many. I shall when Mr. Laird is home again."</p> + +<p>She went indoors, thinking how good it was to have such a staunch true +friend as Colonel Fleming, and wondering uneasily if there was any +foundation for his fears. She found it difficult to soothe Mrs. Laird +when she joined her again.</p> + +<p>"I am convinced Eva means mischief. She wants to take my son from me, +and she will make him miserable—his life will be a hell on earth with +her! It wasn't a coincidence her being included in that house-party. +She managed it all. I know her!"</p> + +<p>This and more Mrs. Laird poured into Sara's ears, and she listened and +expostulated, but could give little real comfort.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird grew feverishly anxious for her son's return, and yet when +he did come, she had actually so worried herself into a sick headache +that she was obliged to go to bed before he arrived.</p> + +<p>But in a quarter of an hour Graham had restored her peace of mind to +her. The very look of him, the calm grave tone of his voice, and the +affectionate inquiries after her health, all brought reassurance to +her. She felt that he had at present no desire to wreck her peace and +spoil their home together.</p> + +<p>"I'm a regular stay-at-home," he said to her, with a little smile +coming to his lips. "Do you know I have been counting the days to get +back to you! Now, I'm not going to talk much to-night. To-morrow I have +a lot to tell you about Cousin Anna. My mind is full of her at present."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird turned over on her pillows with a rested heart, and went +sound asleep directly he had left her.</p> + +<p>Sara and Graham dined together downstairs. Their conversation was +mostly on local topics, but towards the end of the meal, he looked +round the room meditatively.</p> + +<p>"We are old and shabby," he said, "but how is it you give such an +atmosphere of bright comfort in the room in which you are? I have felt +nothing like this the whole time I have been away, and yet our quarters +at Lyle's shooting-box were most luxurious!"</p> + +<p>Sara laughed.</p> + +<p>"That is good to hear," she said; "I must tell your mother that. I wish +you had not come home to find her laid up. She and I have had very good +times together, and last Sunday she went to church with me!"</p> + +<p>Graham looked astonished. Then he said quietly—</p> + +<p>"You are a wonderful woman."</p> + +<p>When dinner was over, Sara went upstairs to Mrs. Laird. She soon came +down to the drawing-room, and found Graham reading his newspaper there +before the fire.</p> + +<p>"Now," she said, "we have another surprise for you! Mrs. Laird has gone +to sleep, and I do not want to wake her, but she asked me to show you +the surprise. Will you come this way?"</p> + +<p>She stepped out into the passage and opened the door of what had been a +lumber-room. It was behind the kitchen and looked out into the garden. +Graham could hardly believe his eyes. All the boxes and rubbish had +disappeared. A dark crimson carpet was on the floor, and the same +coloured curtains to the big square window. There was a square table +with a new desk and inkstand, two big leather armchairs. A bureau with +a glass bookcase on top, and a roomy cupboard in a recess. Some old +prints lined the walls which were covered with a grey paper. A small +bright fire flickered in the grate.</p> + +<p>It looked as it was meant to look, a man's room waiting for him to +occupy it.</p> + +<p>"Your mother thought of everything. She was horrified that you +had written, and read, and smoked, and ate in the same room—the +dining-room."</p> + +<p>"It did not seem worth while to move from it," said Graham. "I +really shan't know myself. What a revolutionary person you are, Miss +Darlington!"</p> + +<p>"But it isn't me! It is your mother."</p> + +<p>"Yes—yes—but you have carried out her wishes, and aided and abetted her +all through. I am in luck! Dear little mother!"</p> + +<p>He looked round him as pleased as any boy, and then Sara slipped away. +And Graham sank into one of the big chairs, pulled it close to the +fire, and lighting up his pipe gave himself up to some very pleasant +reflections.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next day he went off early to interview Sir Malcolm, but got home +in time for lunch, and found Mrs. Laird downstairs and quite herself +again.</p> + +<p>At lunch, he began to talk of his visit to Dalby.</p> + +<p>"Cousin Anna was overjoyed to see me," he said. "I found her a pitiful +little creature, overtaxing her brains and strength by multiplicity +of good deeds, and being defrauded right and left by a most obnoxious +rogue of a secretary. She had just begun to find him out, and was +terrified of convicting him of dishonesty. I went to her in the nick +of time, for I spent a good day and night studying his books, and +then gave him the sack on the spot. She is one of the frailest little +creatures I have seen, does a man's work, and does not seem to have +a single capable person about her. The only person I saw who seems +to have any gumption is a sad overworked girl, a kind of companion +to her, I fancy. She, Cousin Anna told me, is her right hand in most +of her charitable objects, and it was she who opened her eyes to the +delinquencies of the secretary."</p> + +<p>"And what about her colliery?" asked Mrs. Laird. "Is she still working +that? Is that in a satisfactory condition?"</p> + +<p>"I should doubt it, for she is always changing her agents. She says +she must have a Christian man at the head of it. And her so-called +Christian men prove failures from a business point of view."</p> + +<p>"Poor Anna, she always was queer from a girl!" said Mrs. Laird. "Have +you been able to find her another secretary?"</p> + +<p>"Not yet. I want to overhaul her accounts a bit first. I have brought a +batch of books away with me, and promised her I will go back for a day +or two, till she gets straight again."</p> + +<p>"You are not going away again?"</p> + +<p>"Not for long, mother. I couldn't leave my work here. I may run up for +a week-end."</p> + +<p>"I don't really see why you should worry over Anna's business affairs. +Can't she engage a lawyer to work for her?"</p> + +<p>Graham smiled.</p> + +<p>"She says she doesn't trust lawyers, and she's a woman who likes +to keep the reins in her own hand. The consequence is that only +inferior and incapable people will work with her. But she has given +me 'carte blanche' to do what I like, provided I pull her out of her +difficulties."</p> + +<p>"How can you be in two places at once?" said Mrs. Laird. "Sir Malcolm +takes up all your time here."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I can do a good deal in a week-end. I should have the whole of +Sunday up there, and could get through a good bit of work in it."</p> + +<p>A sudden silence fell on them. Then Graham began to tell them about his +Scotch visit, and he was more animated than Sara had ever yet seen him.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Later in the day, he happened to come through the garden as Sara was +trimming some dead flowers and tying up her chrysanthemums. He stopped +and began to assist her. His help was very welcome, and Sara said as +she thanked him—</p> + +<p>"Your rôle in life seems to be to help us women."</p> + +<p>"It's the least I can do. I feel so sorry for my poor little cousin. +She is too guileless, and is taken in right and left. If she would only +not try to mix up religion with business she would get on much better."</p> + +<p>"I don't agree."</p> + +<p>"No, I know you don't. But the fact is there. These Christian +secretaries and agents are all rogues and hypocrites. They are fleecing +her."</p> + +<p>"Then that proves they are not genuine Christians. There is always the +counterfeit article, is there not?"</p> + +<p>He did not reply for a moment, then he said, abruptly—</p> + +<p>"I saw disapproval stamped upon your face when I mentioned working +for her on Sunday. Now, doesn't your Bible say somewhere that you can +rescue an animal on a Sunday? Is it more wicked to rescue a human +being, especially a little saint? If I don't do something for her, +she'll drift into a regular quagmire of debt."</p> + +<p>"I don't think she will let you work for her on Sunday," said Sara. +"You are a Christian, aren't you? We are all bound to respect the day +of rest."</p> + +<p>"I am bound to nothing. I never go to church, as you know."</p> + +<p>"I am hoping you will go with your mother next Sunday."</p> + +<p>"Why?"</p> + +<p>"It will please her, and will do you good."</p> + +<p>"I wish I could see things as you do. But religion has never +influenced me as a practical thing. And I am essentially practical and +matter-of-fact."</p> + +<p>"True religion is absolutely practical. May I quote St. James? What can +be more practical than his definition of it.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To +visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep +himself unspotted from the world.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"The latter condition is very vague."</p> + +<p>Sara shook her head.</p> + +<p>"We won't argue. But has not your mother's altered state of mind proved +that religion is very real and practical?"</p> + +<p>"But I don't put down my mother's improved health to her religious +views. It is your vivid personality that has impressed and changed her.</p> + +<p>"Nothing of the sort," said Sara, emphatically. "I could live with her +for fifty years and never be able to bring her peace of mind. She has +given herself into the keeping of our Master. He brought her into touch +with Himself, and she lives every day of her life now wholly dependent +on Him for strength and guidance."</p> + +<p>"You may fancy that, but it is your—shall I call it mesmeric influence +that plays upon her heart. If you went away, what would happen? Why, +ten chances to one, my mother would lapse into her old depression of +spirit."</p> + +<p>"Not now," said Sara, firmly.</p> + +<p>"Now, Miss Darlington, do you really believe that the Creator of the +Universe would take the trouble to pick out my mother as His special +charge?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly I do. What are we told?</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'Thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose +name is Holy: I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is +of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, +and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"You must know your Bible by heart," said Graham, with a little smile. +"I still maintain that you, rather than our Creator, influence my +mother."</p> + +<p>"I should almost like to go away from her to prove how wrong you are."</p> + +<p>"Oh, please don't do that! What a discussion we are having. I am only +too thankful for my mother's improved health and spirits—whatever may +be the cause!"</p> + +<p>The subject dropped.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>But the following Sunday, Graham did accompany his mother to church, +and Mrs. Laird was very happy in consequence. He drove her there and +back, but Sara preferred to walk across the hills by herself.</p> + +<p>As Graham and his mother were returning, Mrs. Laird said—</p> + +<p>"I have missed a great deal of happiness all these years; what a +blessing Sara has been to us all!"</p> + +<p>"Would you miss her if she left you?"</p> + +<p>"Very much indeed. She is not thinking of doing so, is she?"</p> + +<p>"Not that I know of, but I suppose she will be wanting a change some +time. Would you be very miserable without her?"</p> + +<p>"My dear boy," and Mrs. Laird put her hand gently on his arm, "I don't +think I shall ever be miserable again. I have new life in my soul. It's +just as we were hearing this morning, 'The Lord guides us continually +and satisfies our souls in drought.' I have Him with me. And though I +have lived most of my life without Him, He has forgiven the past, and +now fills me with joy."</p> + +<p>"Very wonderful," murmured Graham, and he said no more.</p> + +<p>It was not long before he paid another visit to his old cousin. He was +only three or four days away, but he did not spend Sunday there, and +then he made an astonishing proposal to his mother the day before he +returned.</p> + +<p>"May I bring back Cousin Anna's young helper, a Miss Godwin? She has +had an attack of influenza, and is run down and badly needs a change. +Our beautiful hills will soon set her up again, and Cousin Anna is +quite willing to spare her."</p> + +<p>"A strange girl!" exclaimed Mrs. Laird to Sara. "How can we do it? We +never have visitors. There is no spare room. And how can we entertain +her when she comes? I have seen so few people that I am shy of meeting +strangers. If it were Anna herself, it would be different."</p> + +<p>"I think you might manage it," said Sara, persuasively. "There is an +empty room at the top of the house which I could move into, and give +her mine. You wouldn't have to entertain her. I expect it is rest she +needs. She would be quite happy, I am sure, if she were allowed to +amuse herself."</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't like you to turn out of your room at all, for you are +close to me, and I should miss you."</p> + +<p>"Very well, if you give me leave, I am sure I could make that top room +cosy for her."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird made no further objections, and Sara took Izzie to help +her, and worked very hard all that day and the next. But the result +fully paid her for her trouble. The little room looked quite fresh and +dainty, and Izzie was wildly excited at the prospect of a strange young +lady coming to stay with them.</p> + +<p>The travellers arrived by an early afternoon train, so that they +reached the house by five o'clock, and there was an abundant tea +waiting for them in the drawing-room. Mrs. Laird was quite composed +when she greeted the stranger; Sara looked at her with real interest. +She was a tall slim girl, with auburn hair, beautiful hazel eyes, and +a small white face and pointed chin. Her complexion was delicate and +transparent. When she got a little flush upon her cheeks from the fire +where she stood to warm herself, Sara thought her very pretty. But her +face in repose lacked animation, and she was very shy.</p> + +<p>Yet once, when Sara laughed, she looked up at her quickly with a flash +of light in her eyes, then in a moment lapsed into her quiet pensive +mood again.</p> + +<p>"Miss Godwin was not in love with our lake, Miss Darlington," said +Graham. "She did not make me pull up, and go into ecstasies over it as +you did."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps Miss Godwin has seen views like it before. You must remember I +came straight from London; and the contrast was very marked."</p> + +<p>The girl looked up quickly.</p> + +<p>"I have never seen anything like it before, but it was eerie and lonely +and desolate; it made me want to cry."</p> + +<p>"You must see it in the sunshine," said Sara, cheerily, "with the blue +sky reflected in it and the birds singing above it. You would want to +sing too!"</p> + +<p>The girl did not answer. She leant back in her chair looking tired and +fragile. And Sara noted with an ache at her heart how very thin she +was. She took her up to her room and did not worry her with talk.</p> + +<p>Graham was talking to his mother about her when Sara returned to the +drawing-room.</p> + +<p>"She is being worked to death, a willing slave, but Cousin Anna does +not realize the strain it is for a young girl to go on year in and year +out without any change or holiday. They are devoted to each other, and +once the doctor told her that Miss Godwin must go away, she was quite +anxious and willing that she should do so."</p> + +<p>"We will soon make her stronger."</p> + +<p>Graham looked at Sara with a grave softness in his eyes.</p> + +<p>"I told Cousin Anna that you would be better than a gallon of doctor's +tonics."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Sara, laughing. "I can't promise that, but change of +air and scene are better than a tonic any day."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Miss Godwin retired early to bed that evening, and Sara visited her the +last thing with a tumbler of egg and milk beaten up together, which she +insisted that she should take before she went to sleep.</p> + +<p>"I am going to take you in hand," she said, with one of her +irresistible smiles; "you are nothing but a bag of bones at present!"</p> + +<p>The girl flashed a grateful look at her. Then she impulsively put her +hand on Sara's arm.</p> + +<p>"I feel I am in a dream. Will you be my friend and let me talk to you? +And will you call me by my Christian name, which is Ina?"</p> + +<p>"A dear little name," said Sara, and she stooped and kissed her. "You +poor child," she added, "of course, I shall be delighted to be your +friend. Now good night. Sleep well, and then you will be able to talk +to me to-morrow."</p> + +<p>She left her and went downstairs, wondering why this girl had been +brought into the quiet life at Felstone Corner.</p> + +<p>When Sara re-entered the drawing-room, she found Graham still there +talking to his mother. He looked up at her inquiringly.</p> + +<p>"Well, what do you think of her? My mother fancies she may prove an +additional burden to you."</p> + +<p>"I have no burdens in this house," said Sara, happily; "my heart is +full of pity for her, and I'm longing to see her lose her careworn +lines and wrinkles."</p> + +<p>"I have been asking who she is," said Mrs. Laird.</p> + +<p>"And I have been telling my mother that she was the daughter of a +former rector of the parish in which our cousin lives. She was the only +child, and lost both her parents when she was seventeen. Cousin Anna +befriended her, and she has been living with her for the last seven +or eight years. A cold, joyless life, I should say, but you religious +people would say it ought not to be, for she has been entirely devoted +to good works."</p> + +<p>"Good works is a very vague term," said Sara. "In any case, all workers +need relaxation and rest sometimes."</p> + +<p>"I don't believe she has ever had it. Cousin Anna is wiry, and doesn't +like to be absent from her work. She told me she occasionally goes to +the sea, which is twenty miles or so from them, for a week-end. But +when she goes there, she takes all her accounts and reports and keeps +this child well at it for quite half of every day."</p> + +<p>"How will she manage without her?"</p> + +<p>"Quite well. A friend of hers has gone to stay with her. I really +believe if this girl had friends to whom she could have gone, she would +have been sent away before. But that was the difficulty which I tried +to solve."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Mrs. Laird, "she seems very gentle and quiet, and Sara +will know how to amuse her. Now I am going to bed. Good night."</p> + +<p>They separated. Sara's thoughts as she laid her head on her pillow that +night were full of Ina Godwin. She wondered at herself for taking such +an interest in her, for as a rule young girls did not appeal to her as +much as old people.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_12">CHAPTER XII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>"TOO GOOD TO LAST"</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"AND now can we talk?"</p> + +<p>"As much as ever you like."</p> + +<p>Sara was taking the young guest for her first walk across the hills.</p> + +<p>Ina was not as a rule a good walker, but the keen bracing air +invigorated her, and though Sara had to adapt her pace to hers, she was +enjoying her fresh experience of striding through the dead heather and +bracken. It was a still October morning. Curlews swooped and circled +round overhead, there was a fresh moist smell of earth, occasionally +they disturbed the sheep who were cropping the short turf, and Snooks +who was with them darted in and out of the furze bushes in the vain +hopes of putting up a rabbit to chase.</p> + +<p>Ina lifted her head, and drew in long breaths of the sweet pure air.</p> + +<p>"Oh, how I hate chimneys and smoke!" she said suddenly. "How good it is +not to see a sign of either up here!"</p> + +<p>"Tell me about your life," said Sara; and Ina began at once.</p> + +<p>"I love Aunt Anna—she lets me call her 'Aunt,' though I'm no real +niece—but I have got weary of all her work. Is that wicked of me? I +can't tell you how unselfish she is, but I wonder if ever God will be +able to make her rest in heaven. She will never rest here. And she has +had trouble upon trouble. I often wonder why people are allowed to +deceive her so! I have reasoned it out to myself sometimes, and I feel +as if every professing Christian must be a hypocrite!</p> + +<p>"And then I realize that in Aunt Anna's single-heartedness, she +lays traps for impostors. If she engages a servant, she must have a +Christian one, she says, and as she gives good wages, they pretend to +be what they are not, for the sake of the place. She is always getting +hold of reclaimed drunkards and putting them into places of trust and +responsibility, and then they break out, and there is disaster at once.</p> + +<p>"And then Mr. Wylde, her late secretary, he is an arch hypocrite, and +has been behaving in a perfectly shameless way, actually enticing +members of her young men's club to come to his house and play cards and +drink. I can't tell you what we have gone through. She hasn't had one +honest strong man amongst all her dependents. And then Mr. Laird came. +Isn't he wonderful? So quiet and capable and strong, with such keen +quick sight of right judgment. In one day he discovered what Mr. Wylde +was like, and he was sent away in twenty-four hours!"</p> + +<p>Ina paused for breath. Her eyes were glowing. She was quite +enthusiastic.</p> + +<p>Sara listened and sympathized; the girl talked on and told of the busy +life she had had since she had left school.</p> + +<p>"Have you had no young companions of your own age?"</p> + +<p>"I have never been young," said Ina, with a little wistful smile, "not +since I left school. Aunt Anna has some nieces, but they are smart +up-to-date girls who despise her, because she is old-fashioned and +good, and they look upon me as a poor dependent. You see I am always +so busy that I haven't a chance to know young people. I have friends +amongst the colliers, and I see servant girls and shop girls who come +down to our Home of Rest, but I can't exactly make friends of them. I +don't think I care about people much. I never meet anybody who takes +any interest in me. But there is no reason why they should."</p> + +<p>"Isn't there?" said Sara with a smile as she put her hand on her +shoulder. "Why, I was interested in you from the first moment I saw +you!"</p> + +<p>A swift bright colour came into Ina's cheeks.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, "you are so kind. I can't tell you what I feel like. +You are all such fascinating people to be with! Mrs. Laird with her +sad eyes and sweet smile, and clinging affection for Mr. Laird and +for yourself, and he—well, I've told you what I think of him, he's +like a chivalrous knight, thinks no trouble too much for a weak +defenceless woman. And you're a princess—I love to watch you moving +about. I watch for your smile and that lovely little laugh of yours: +you're the happiest person I've ever seen! Do you believe in people +distributing their auras around them? You make everybody in the room +with you comfortable and glad. Mr. Laird inspires one with safety and +confidence; you with joy and hope. And when I'm in the room with both +of you, I feel as if I were in heaven!"</p> + +<p>"My dear Ina, what a romantic little person you are!" Sara was much +touched.</p> + +<p>This quiet girl had keen observation as well as imagination. She had +not yet lost her youthful enthusiasms, though she was strangely worn +and old in other ways.</p> + +<p>And then suddenly, as they breasted the summit of the hill on which +they were, they came across Colonel Fleming riding on his stout old +cob. He dismounted at once and came forward in his usual impulsive +genial way.</p> + +<p>"Upon my word, I'm in luck! Was thinking of you, Miss Darlington, and +wondering whether Graham were back!"</p> + +<p>Sara introduced him to Ina.</p> + +<p>He shook hands with her.</p> + +<p>"Don't know who you are from Adam, but you look a good sort. A friend +of Graham's, eh? He seems to have a good many friends when he gets +away. Oh! Do you come from Dalby? Where he has been putting his +finger into a very muddled pie, eh? And what do you think of our +neighbourhood?"</p> + +<p>"I think it is all perfectly lovely!"</p> + +<p>"That's right. Then you'll be happy here. But you look like a wraith! +And I suppose Miss Darlington has trotted you up here to whip some +colour into your cheeks. I'm coming over this afternoon—want to look up +Graham on business! Do you know what I call Miss Darlington behind her +back? Balm. Just Balm. You'll soon find out what a good name it is for +her."</p> + +<p>If Ina was astonished at Colonel Fleming's rapid flow of talk, she +did not show it. But she smiled up at him, the first real smile of +appreciation and pleasure since her arrival.</p> + +<p>And then Sara and Colonel Fleming had a little talk together about +local matters, and presently Ina was addressed again.</p> + +<p>"Do you like horses? Ever ridden?" Ina was quietly stroking the nose of +the Colonel's old cob.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I used to ride when I was a little girl. We had an old pony."</p> + +<p>Sadness came into her eyes at the recollection of her childhood.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming looked at her, then at Sara.</p> + +<p>"Look here, will you come out riding with me? I have a quiet old +rocking-horse, who will carry you anywhere. If you've come down here to +get strong, there's nothing like riding over our hills, now is there, +Miss Darlington?"</p> + +<p>"I think it would be delightful for her. Wouldn't you like to ride, +Ina?"</p> + +<p>Ina's face flushed and paled by turns.</p> + +<p>"I think I would," she said.</p> + +<p>"That's good. Now we'll settle it right off. To-morrow afternoon sharp +at half-past two, I shall be at Felstone Corner with a mount for you."</p> + +<p>"But," gasped Ina, "I have no habit—nothing to ride in. And Mrs. Laird +might not like me to do it."</p> + +<p>"Habits be bothered! I've seen women on horseback in shorter skirts +than you're wearing at present, and nobody will see you on these hills. +Make yourself a guy, nobody will care. And as for Mrs. Laird, she'll +let you do any mortal thing you have a mind to, dance on your head if +you care to try!"</p> + +<p>Ina laughed, and Sara joined her.</p> + +<p>And then the girl promised to be ready; and the Colonel mounted his +horse and rode away.</p> + +<p>"I think I'm in a fairy tale," said Ina with sparkling eyes. "I seem to +be in another life altogether."</p> + +<p>She was a different girl when she returned to the house, bright and +animated and interested in everything about her.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>In the afternoon, Sara made her rest.</p> + +<p>They had a pleasant evening together in the drawing-room. Sara brought +out her guitar and sang to them, and Ina played on the piano. She was +a good musician though she acknowledged that she had never time to +practise.</p> + +<p>And then Graham began to talk to her about his cousin's work. In the +course of conversation, Ina mentioned their new vicar, who had lately +married and settled in a house close to them.</p> + +<p>"Surely," said Sara, "you see something of him and his wife, don't you?"</p> + +<p>"Not much," said Ina. "Aunt Anna doesn't care for his wife. She isn't +a bit like a clergyman's wife. Won't do anything in the parish, and +dresses very smartly and plays golf and bridge. She says she's not +going to be her husband's curate. They don't seem very suited to each +other, they don't care for the same things."</p> + +<p>"And that means tragedy," said Sara, with deep feeling in her tone.</p> + +<p>Graham looked at her.</p> + +<p>"Why?" he asked. "A woman's tastes are different to a man's as a +general rule. But they get on together none the worse for that."</p> + +<p>"Ah, but," said Ina, hesitatingly, "Mrs. Arran despises good people and +parish work, and she laughs at it all, and wants her husband to be a +military chaplain in India, because then she says they would have no +parish."</p> + +<p>"I wonder why she married him," Sara said thoughtfully. "Marriage is so +irrevocable, two people pulling different ways tied together for life! +Oh, it's dreadful to think of! And it's so often done. One with his +hopes in heaven, the other with her hopes on the earth. How can they +live happily together?"</p> + +<p>Graham stirred in his chair.</p> + +<p>"I don't agree," he said, and his tone was rather abrupt and impatient. +"If one of them has an ounce of real religion worth having, he'll +impart it to the other."</p> + +<p>"I've never known that happen," said Sara, sadly, "and I've known +several ill-matched couples. It's generally just the other way. I +don't know why. But the power of evil seems greater than the good. I +know such a nice girl who married an atheist. She thought she would +influence him, and he assured her that she would, but she did not, and +instead, lost her own faith. She's a miserable woman now."</p> + +<p>"Then do you mean to say that no man ought to marry a woman unless he +and she think exactly alike from a religious point of view?"</p> + +<p>Graham's keen eyes were bent on Sara as he spoke. His tone was very +impressive.</p> + +<p>"How can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" quoted Sara, +softly.</p> + +<p>"You good people are very pharisaical!"</p> + +<p>And taking his pipe out of his pocket, Graham got up and left the room. +They heard him go into his smoking-room, and bang the door rather +violently.</p> + +<p>And Sara knew that she had vexed him.</p> + +<p>She did not see him again that night.</p> + +<p>And at breakfast the next morning, he was noticeably stiff in manner +towards her. But no one could resist Sara's sweet gaiety for long, and +he was no exception to the rule.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next day Ina went off for her ride with Colonel Fleming. She was a +little nervous at the thought of it, but Sara encouraged and cheered +her. She lent her a loose covert coat of hers, and some leggings, and +watched her ride off with mixed feelings of envy and delight. She could +not forget the days when she rode out, and Colonel Fleming had never +offered her a mount, much as she would have liked it.</p> + +<p>Ina came back from her ride in glowing spirits.</p> + +<p>"I do like Colonel Fleming. What fun he is! He is just like a +schoolboy. He wants me to go again to-morrow. May I?"</p> + +<p>She appealed to Mrs. Laird, who at once agreed that she could.</p> + +<p>"My dear Sara," she said when the girl had left the room; "it is a +great relief to me to see how easily she is amused and entertained, +and she is very willing and helpful. She tidied out a drawer for me +beautifully this morning. She asked me to give her something to do."</p> + +<p>And before many days had passed, Ina had made herself quite at home. +She adored Sara, and loved nothing better than to work with her in the +garden, or sit sewing with her indoors. She was always ready to wait +upon Mrs. Laird, and showed her many little polite attentions. Graham +had the effect of awing her; she was rather silent when he was in the +room, but she confided in Sara that she thought he was like one of the +strong silent heroes in story books, who worked miracles of strength +and valour, when appearing to be absolutely immovable and passive.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>One day Colonel Fleming did not come for the ride, but sent a message +that he would like to see Graham. And in the evening, after Ina had +gone to bed, Graham told them the reason of his summons.</p> + +<p>"Poor Fleming has just heard of his wife's death. It has rather upset +him."</p> + +<p>"But he has been divorced from her for years, has he not?" asked Sara.</p> + +<p>"Yes, her death has reopened all the past. He can't regret her, and yet +actually asked me if he ought not to get a black tie."</p> + +<p>"Poor man!" said Mrs. Laird, pityingly. "He can't forget that he was +once happy with her. Shall I write him a note of sympathy?"</p> + +<p>"For goodness' sake, no, mother! He will want no allusions to it. +Perhaps I ought not to have spoken. You must pretend you do not know."</p> + +<p>For a few days Colonel Fleming remained in seclusion, then he appeared +again, and happened to meet Sara in the garden.</p> + +<p>She saw a change upon his cheerful-looking face. There was a softness +and serenity in his eyes that had not been there before. He gripped her +hand silently.</p> + +<p>"I have been down in the valley," he said to her, "but I am up and out +of it now, ready to have a smack and a thrust at Apollyon again, when +he comes my way! How's Miss Godwin? What a good horsewoman she is! And +what a life she is leading with that little tyrannical saint of hers! +Can't you get her out of it? She wants a rescuer. Don't your ears burn +sometimes? You should hear the histories we tell each other of what you +do and say!"</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry you can't find a more interesting topic of conversation," +Sara said, looking at him with her bright smile. "She's a dear little +thing, isn't she? So grateful to every one for giving her pleasure. +I shall be quite sorry when she goes back, but her visit cannot be +prolonged much longer. She is impatient to be back—says she is wanted."</p> + +<p>"Rubbish! Keep her till she gets a little more flesh upon her bones. +She hasn't had a chance as yet."</p> + +<p>Ina happening to come up at this moment, he turned to her.</p> + +<p>"Talk of an angel! Well, did you hear what we were saying? That until +you were more respectably clothed with plump fat we shouldn't let you +stir from Felstone Corner! Have you been wondering at my absence? Joey +is eating his head off in the stable. I've been busy, and distracted +and rather down in the dumps, but I'm as cheery as a cricket now, and +am coming round to-morrow sharp at two, for the days are getting short. +Will you be ready?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes," was the joyful response. "Thank you so much. I have missed +my rides, but I wonder you can find time to take me out at all, with +all your farm to see to. And do you know that I feel I could ride over +these lovely hills quite alone now? So if you would trust me with Joey +one day, then you need not be dragged away from your work!"</p> + +<p>"Couldn't trust you!" said the Colonel, emphatically. "Why, Joey might +take it into his head to take you near the cliffs: and landslips are +too frequent there for safety. Nobody drags, me, I assure you! I come +off as blithe as a bird!"</p> + +<p>The rides continued, and then one afternoon when Ina was out, a +telegram came for Graham.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Miss Harrison very ill—wants you."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Happily he was in when it arrived. He made all arrangements for leaving +that night.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird was very distressed about it.</p> + +<p>"Poor Cousin Anna! I am sorry for her, but you cannot be continually at +her beck and call. She is always having attacks like this. That child +has told me so."</p> + +<p>"This is from her doctor," said Graham, gravely, and he went on +preparing for his journey.</p> + +<p>When Ina came home from her ride, she was told. In an instant, she +decided that she must go too.</p> + +<p>"I must! I must! I'm always with her when she is ill. I know how to +nurse her. She will miss me. Oh, how I wish I had not left her! I shall +never forgive myself if anything happens to her."</p> + +<p>"Graham is going to-night!" said Mrs. Laird, gently. "By the night +train. Men can travel so much easier than women. It would be too great +a rush for you!"</p> + +<p>"A rush! I could pack up in a quarter of an hour. If Aunt Anna is ill, +I would cross the ocean to get to her if necessary. Oh, Mr. Laird, you +won't refuse to take me?"</p> + +<p>"Of course I will not," was the quiet reply. "Pack up your boxes +and have a good meal before you start. I must ride over and see Sir +Malcolm. But I don't think there will be anything to detain me."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird, seeing the girl's distress, made no further objections. +Sara helped her to pack, and Ina flung her arms round her neck in +parting.</p> + +<p>"Oh, you've been so good to me! I've never been so happy in my life. I +knew it was too good to last."</p> + +<p>"But you're glad to be going to Miss Harrison?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes, yes. I feel selfish in enjoying myself here whilst she has +been struggling to keep well. She always goes on till she drops. Her +doctor says she never husbands her strength. Oh, Miss Darlington, will +you pray hard that she may get better? My heart will break if she is +taken from me! I am always so afraid of it! And oh! I do thank you for +all your kindness and goodness to me. I have never been so happy in my +life before."</p> + +<p>She drove away by the side of Graham, looking back at the ugly little +farmhouse with smiles and tears.</p> + +<p>And Sara went indoors wondering what life held for the quiet unselfish +girl who had left them as suddenly as she had come.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird called to her. She was sitting knitting by the fire in the +drawing-room.</p> + +<p>Sara went across to her; and Mrs. Laird laid her hand caressingly upon +her arm.</p> + +<p>"You and I are left together, Sara. We shall be very happy, shall we +not? I am learning to give my son up to other women who need him. I +have kept him to myself for so long that I dare not try to do it any +longer."</p> + +<p>Sara kissed her affectionately.</p> + +<p>"He will be a great comfort to his cousin," she said. "Let us hope she +will get better, and then he will soon return to you."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird shook her head doubtfully.</p> + +<p>"I have a presentiment that she is not going to live, but if anybody is +ready to leave this world, I should think she must be. Her whole life +has been given to good works, and to real self-denial."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird proved right in her surmise. Two days afterwards, she +received a wire saying that her cousin had quietly and peacefully +passed away.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_13">CHAPTER XIII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>COUSIN ANNA'S HEIR</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>GRAHAM LAIRD was away a fortnight. He had been left sole trustee to +many of Miss Harrison's charities, and he and her lawyer had a great +deal of business to transact together. Mrs. Laird insisted that Ina +should return with him, and make her house her home for the present, +until she settled what she was going to do.</p> + +<p>And so one wild stormy evening in December they returned together.</p> + +<p>Ina was very quiet and sad that first evening, but seized hold of Sara +when bedtime came.</p> + +<p>"Do come and see me the last thing, will you?" she entreated; and Sara +promptly promised that she would.</p> + +<p>Graham and his mother were talking very earnestly together when Sara +left them. She knew there would be much to discuss, and felt that they +would like to be alone.</p> + +<p>Ina welcomed her rapturously.</p> + +<p>"I can't tell you what it is to be back, I have so much to tell you. +Dear Aunt Anna has left me £500 a year. Just think of it! I can't +believe it. Why, I have never had a penny to call my own! But I +truthfully would rather have aunt back than enjoy her money; and, Miss +Darlington, I don't know what to do, nor where to go! She does not seem +to have expected me to stay on up there, and continue all my work, for +she has left all her philanthropic schemes to different people. Her +People's Clubs to the vicar, and her Rest Homes to her doctor, and I +believe Mr. Laird has been left nearly all the rest."</p> + +<p>"Tell me about her," said Sara, gently; "did she know you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>A flood of colour rose into the girl's cheeks.</p> + +<p>"She was quite conscious, you know, and yet she spoke so strangely. I +hardly like to tell you. Mr. Laird was in the room, she sent for him +and for me together, and then she turned to him:</p> + +<p>"'I leave her in your charge,' she said.</p> + +<p>"And Mr. Laird nodded. Then she looked at me, and then her eyes went +back to him again.</p> + +<p>"'I should like to think that you would both carry on some of my work +together,' she said, 'but Ina cannot live here alone.'"</p> + +<p>"We were both absolutely silent, and she gave a little sigh."</p> + +<p>"'Ah, well, I leave it to God,' she said. 'He will arrange for His own +work and raise up those whom He needs for it.'</p> + +<p>"I did not see her again. She kissed me, and she whispered,—</p> + +<p>"'I hope you will marry, Ina. I would not when I might, and a lonely +woman is sadly crippled in many ways. My work here has needed a man's +hand, and it has not had it.'"</p> + +<p>"Now, don't you think it was strange of her to talk so?"</p> + +<p>Sara did not reply.</p> + +<p>Then Ina said impulsively—</p> + +<p>"It was almost as if she wanted Mr. Laird to marry me. I could laugh at +the idea. She little knew how he worships the ground you tread upon!"</p> + +<p>"Hush!"</p> + +<p>Sara's tone was quick and peremptory.</p> + +<p>"Don't hush me!"</p> + +<p>The girl was sitting up in bed, she took Sara's hand and lifted it to +her lips and kissed it.</p> + +<p>"There!" she said mischievously. "That's what he would give the world +to do, and a good deal more. Why, Miss Darlington, if you're out of +the room, he's always watching for you till you come again. Mrs. Laird +knows it as well as I do, and—and she's glad."</p> + +<p>"I did not come up to you to hear nonsense."</p> + +<p>Sara's head was lifted high. Ina was at once penitent.</p> + +<p>"Forgive me; my tongue has run away with me. And I'm really aching +in my heart for dear Aunt Anna. Death seems to have swept my last +belonging away from me. I suppose, now I have money, I must learn to be +independent and live alone. But the money is a trust, is it not? How +and where shall I use it?"</p> + +<p>"That you will be shown. Good night, dear. You are too tired to stay +awake talking. We shall have plenty of time for that to-morrow."</p> + +<p>Sara left her, but she did not go downstairs at once. She stood on the +staircase looking out of a narrow window overlooking the hills. The +moon was just rising, the sky clear and full of stars. Sara's face +was wrapt and dreamy, she opened the casement window and let the keen +frosty night air fan her hot cheeks. Then after a time, her lips moved.</p> + +<p>"It never could be!"</p> + +<p>A heavy sigh followed; she shut the window quietly and descended the +stairs to the drawing-room.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird—not Graham—looked up expectantly—</p> + +<p>"Sara, come here. We must tell you. It may mean a great change in our +lives. My son has been left the whole of my cousin's colliery."</p> + +<p>Sara was surprised. She turned to Graham.</p> + +<p>"May I congratulate you?" she said.</p> + +<p>"It's just as well to be tentative about it," he said looking at +her. "I don't know if it is a subject for congratulation. Though she +has left it to me unconditionally, I know that it has been more of a +burden than a blessing to my cousin. Wealth it may mean, but care and +responsibility, and a life no longer one's own!"</p> + +<p>"You have never had that," said his mother, thoughtfully.</p> + +<p>Her son looked at her quickly, then he gave her one of his rare smiles.</p> + +<p>"My life with the one who loves me best in the world has been good to +live," he said.</p> + +<p>Sara's eyes filled with quick unaccountable tears, as she thought of +the past dreary isolated years—the best of a man's life spent in and +about a sick-room. Then she said, with a little effort—</p> + +<p>"Does it mean that you will have to live on your property?"</p> + +<p>"I am afraid so."</p> + +<p>"And I have told him I am willing to go with him anywhere," said Mrs. +Laird.</p> + +<p>"I don't know why she has left it to me," Graham went on, "but she +tried to explain to me before she died. She would not leave it to her +nieces because she said they would spend the income on themselves and +on gaiety, and neglect her dear people. She would not leave it to Ina, +because she felt she was not strong enough for the burden of it. She +seemed to be looking back upon her own weakness; she said she had been +inefficient, and it needed a man's hand to keep things as they should +be.</p> + +<p>"I tried to tell her that her principles were not mine. And then she +gave me—a text, I believe. Isn't it one, Miss Darlington? Something +like this,—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'What does the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love +mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God'?<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"And she said she had loved mercy, but not justice, and she had come to +see that men put that first in the same way that God did. I think that +was about the last thing she said to me—almost!"</p> + +<p>His face softened as he spoke. A certain memory had touched him, but +that memory was sacred to himself and the one who had gone. Sara sat +absolutely silent. And then Mrs. Laird rose, and taking Sara's arm said +she was going to bed.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Far into the night Sara lay thinking. This quiet peaceful life was +coming to an end. What did the future hold in store for each one of +them? She thought a good deal of Mrs. Laird, and wondered how she would +bear the transplanting to a large manufacturing centre, to the bustle +and noise of a town life, after so many years of silence and isolation. +And then she thought of Graham. Would he be able to hold the property +given to him in the way that the late owner of it would approve? Did +he mean to spend most of his income—like his cousin—in benefiting the +colliers on his estate? Would he be able to carry on the religious work +connected with it?</p> + +<p>Lastly she thought of herself. If Ina went back with them to Dalby, +surely she would naturally be his right hand in helping him with the +work on the estate, the work in which she had been engaged for so many +years? Surely it was natural that Miss Harrison should have built upon +the possibility of Graham and Ina coming together and taking a joint +part and interest in the property. In this case, would she be wanted? +Would not Mrs. Laird gradually learn to lean upon Ina? They were fond +of each other now. If she were away, they would draw still closer +together.</p> + +<p>"My work is perhaps done. I should be more a hindrance than a help to +Miss Harrison's hopes if I accompanied them to Dalby."</p> + +<p>This was her unspoken thought, and then she turned over on her pillow +with a prayer for guidance. She knew that prayer would be answered. But +she did not know that the answer was already on the way to her.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next day Colonel Fleming came in with Graham to lunch. He had been +told the news, and his cheerful serenity had been somewhat disturbed. +When Sara went out into the garden to cover up her violet frame, he +followed her.</p> + +<p>"I say, I want a talk with you. Can't we get away somewhere together +where we shan't be disturbed?"</p> + +<p>Sara laughed.</p> + +<p>"You sound very mysterious! Come down the lane with me. I want a little +exercise."</p> + +<p>They went down the little winding lane towards the lake.</p> + +<p>"I am struck all of a heap!" said the Colonel. "Do you think this will +answer? I can't fancy Graham owner of a colliery! I suppose he will +play his part there all right; but what about all these philanthropic +and religious bits of work connected with it? I asked him plump if he +was going to work it as it had been worked, and he said he hadn't the +faith of his cousin and wouldn't pretend he had, but as it was a point +of honour that nothing would drop, he hoped that you and Ina would run +the part that he couldn't. What astounds me is Mrs. Laird's placid +assent to being rooted out of her seclusion and planted down close to a +smoky manufacturing town. How will she do it? And then, where do I come +in? Am I to be left here alone? I'm not in love with this bit of the +country, you know, and my farm is a plaything. It doesn't really pay +its way. I'm too easy-going."</p> + +<p>"You'll have to move up there too," said Sara.</p> + +<p>"Upon my word I think I shall! I'm not fond of being alone. And Miss +Ina and I can still have some rides. What a game little creature she +is! And now I hear she's had a fat legacy left her! She deserves it, +I'm sure, but we mustn't let her work herself to skin and bone again. +What do you think about it all? I thought you were wonderfully silent +at lunch. Do you like the idea of the move?"</p> + +<p>"I have not been asked to go yet," said Sara, slowly. "And I with you +have been pondering over all that this change will entail. I suppose it +is necessary to be shaken out of our ruts occasionally. But this has +been a very pleasant and comfortable rut to me, and I shall grieve to +part with my beloved lake, and these invigorating hills."</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes, it won't be a change for the better. I hate factory +smoke—always did—and collieries are depressing. I'm wondering how +Graham will stand it. Old Ferris is in an awful stew over his going! I +met him, after he had been told this morning. He says he's never had +such an agent before, and never will again. But it won't hurt him to +miss Graham. He has been awfully rough on him at times. What do you +mean by being asked to go with them. You don't think that Mrs. Laird +could do without you, do you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Sara, quietly. "Ina is quite capable of taking my place."</p> + +<p>"No, indeed," and the Colonel got quite excited. "She isn't strong +enough mentally or physically to cope with Mrs. Laird in her moods. And +she'll be plunging into all her old work again on the top of it. She +wants a home of her own, that little thing does, and some one to take +care of her."</p> + +<p>Sara was amused at his concern, but dared not remark upon it. And then +after a little more talk they returned to the house.</p> + +<p>Before the Colonel left, he announced his intention of accompanying the +household to Dalby.</p> + +<p>"At least," he added, "if I don't actually come with you, I shall +follow on—can't stay here by myself. I'll look out some diggings up +there a few miles out from the town. Thank goodness there's an open +moor within reach, I know!"</p> + +<p>Graham looked at him affectionately, but he said nothing. He knew that +he and Colonel Fleming were like a David and Jonathan for sticking +to each other; he accompanied him to the gate and there showed him a +little bit of his heart.</p> + +<p>"You've been in dreary seclusion, old chap, all these years to make +life bearable to me. Now it's my turn, when you come up North, to make +it cheery and pleasant for you. And I warn you, I shall need an awful +lot of your time and brain to help me manage my bit of property in the +best way possible!"</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It was about two hours later that Sara received a telegram. It was from +her brother.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Can you come to me? In great trouble. Letter following.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 14.5em;">"ARNOLD."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara spent a miserable evening and a sleepless night. She could not +think what had happened. She did not often hear from her brother, and +she feared that something must have gone wrong with his wife, who was +expecting her first baby in two months' time. It seemed extraordinary +to her at this juncture that she should receive a summons to town.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird was as perturbed as she was.</p> + +<p>But Ina, seeing Sara's real distress, came forward bravely—</p> + +<p>"I promise to look after Mrs. Laird and take care of her till you come +back to us," she said; and Sara's face brightened.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>In the morning the letter came, and Sara received it in her bedroom. +She sat for a time as if stunned by its contents.</p> + +<p>Her brother's wife had died in giving birth to a little boy who arrived +two months before his time. The father was distracted; he turned at +once to the sister who had lived with him and done everything for him +for so many years, and he implored her to come to him and take charge +of his motherless child.</p> + +<p>It seemed to Sara that God's guiding hand was in it all. She was not to +go to Dalby. She had had a strange presentiment that she should not go, +and now that presentiment proved true. Her heart ached for her brother, +but she had not known how strong were the ties that bound her to her +present life, until she was forced to leave it.</p> + +<p>She knelt down and said from her heart,—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Thy will be done."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>And then she rose from her knees, if not comforted, at least +strengthened to take the path that stretched out in front of her.</p> + +<p>She broke her news very gently to Mrs. Laird, who burst into tears and +clung hold of her pathetically.</p> + +<p>"Am I to lose you altogether? Don't tell me so! But I must not stand +in your way. Of course an infant, especially a boy with all his +possibilities, is more important than an old woman fast nearing the end +of her journey. But oh, my dear Sara, you have been like a daughter +to me! And I feel that I cannot face a fresh life amongst strangers +without you by my side. What a dreadful blow it is! How shall we manage +the move without you? You see how selfish I am."</p> + +<p>"I can't bear to go," acknowledged Sara, "but does it not seem as if +things have been arranged so as to keep you from missing me too much? +Ina is such a dear helpful girl and so fond of you. And she is very, +very capable, your son has told us that. She will do everything for +you. Dear Mrs. Laird, you will not be alone; you are leaning hard upon +the One Who will never leave or forsake you. You don't know how you +will be helped and guided through all that lies in front of you. And +then you have your son who is always such a tower of strength. Why, in +the face of all these, I am quite a superfluity."</p> + +<p>Sara gave one of her happy laughs as she finished speaking, and Mrs. +Laird's careworn face lightened a little.</p> + +<p>Ina took the news with courage, but there was blank dismay in her eyes. +And when Graham heard of it, he was almost angry in his remonstrances.</p> + +<p>"Your brother can get somebody else to go to him. Why should he summon +you to him when we are all needing you at this time? Are you always to +be at his beck and call? He turned you out of your home, now he wants +you back again. But you are not bound to go!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Mr. Laird, you must remember he is my only brother. Think of the +helpless baby."</p> + +<p>"What does a widower do who has no sister?"</p> + +<p>He walked away from her as he spoke; he could not trust himself to +speak.</p> + +<p>Sara found it would not be an easy matter to leave this new home of +hers and all who had learnt to value her. She wrote to her brother +saying she would come in a short time. She knew as long as the monthly +nurse stayed in the house there would be no immediate hurry. And then +she set to work to make all her necessary arrangements for the comfort +of Mrs. Laird when she should be gone.</p> + +<p>After the first outcry, every one was very quiet. Mrs. Laird seemed to +be buoyed up by some secret hope. Ina was anxiously learning to take +Sara's place, and do all her little tasks of labour and love for the +old lady's welfare. And Graham was absorbed in winding up his estate +accounts, and in initiating a fresh agent into Sir Malcolm's affairs.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>A fortnight passed, and then Sara came to her last day. In the +afternoon she went over the hills to say good-bye to Agnes Cleave.</p> + +<p>The poor woman had tears in her eyes when she parted with her.</p> + +<p>"You've brought me new life, miss, since you befriended me. Now I go +to church, and have no shrinking from any of those I used to know. And +I'd like you to know what a treasure my Bible is to me! And even father +listens and enjoys a chapter out of it the last thing every night. You +were quite right. You said the Bible would show me what the end of my +journey could be. And I'm looking forward in glad hope to it now."</p> + +<p>"I'm so glad," said Sara. "And now you will try and instil that same +hope into your father's heart. Or rather ask that God Himself will do +it."</p> + +<p>Agnes nodded.</p> + +<p>"It's an awful blow—your going away! Won't you ever be in these parts +again?"</p> + +<p>"Perhaps we may," said Sara; "who can tell? Will you write to me +sometimes, Agnes, and let me write to you?"</p> + +<p>"I'm no scholar, but I'll be proud to do my best. May God bless you, +miss, for the sunshine you have brought to my soul!"</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk1_Ch_14">CHAPTER XIV</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A SUMMONS TO TOWN</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>SARA sped down the hill again, with an ache in her heart for all that +she was leaving. And then a longing came over her to pay a last visit +to the lake. She made her way down to it, and gazed dreamily and rather +sadly across its waters. It was a cold grey afternoon, but she always +loved to see its unruffled surface in the stillness of winter-time. The +black branches of birch and elm stood out against the cold silver sky +like delicate lacework; the rich tints of amber and ruddy brown of the +rushes and dead bracken, the brilliant green moss of its banks, and the +soft purple blue of the firs and pines in the background all made a +delightful picture of colour to her eyes. Suddenly she was conscious of +some other person near her, and turning quickly round, she saw Graham +coming towards her.</p> + +<p>"I have followed you here," he said; "all day I have been trying to +speak to you, but you have eluded me. Am I disturbing you now?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, quickly, "I am only saying good-bye to my dear lake. +I don't know why I love it so. I think it's because of its still +aloofness, its unchangeable beauty, and its attitude of patient +waiting."</p> + +<p>He did not speak for a moment, then he said—</p> + +<p>"That was the first spark of warmth that crept into my heart, when +you looked at it as if you loved it. Do you remember our first drive +together?"</p> + +<p>He did not wait for an answer.</p> + +<p>"I expect you will think me a laggard for putting off till to-day what +I have been burning to say to you for months and months. I have grown +so used to sternly repressing my feelings that it is difficult to +make the plunge. You know what a fresh sphere awaits us in the north. +I can go to it gladly and joyfully, and take up all the burdens and +difficulties that I know await me, if you can give me the hope of your +coming to me later.</p> + +<p>"And if you don't feel for me as I feel for you, Sara—I hardly can +hope that you do, for there is little in me to attract a woman of your +sort—will you bear this in mind, that there is work to be done there +which I cannot do, but which you can? I cannot think of anything more +sublime than for you and me to work together, you doing the spiritual +part, teaching and helping and befriending the poor and ignorant, and I +the sterner harder business part of the whole concern.</p> + +<p>"I can't pretend to be what I am not. I am not a religious man. Nor +do I think I ever shall be, but I honour and reverence those who are, +and no woman to my mind fulfils her part in life unless she is. I +shall fail in carrying out my cousin's wishes if I tackle her work +single-handed, but I shall not fail with you by my side. Will you give +me yourself? Will you let me have the right to stand by you and keep +you and guard you through life as the most precious treasure a man can +have given him?"</p> + +<p>It was a strange declaration of love. Perhaps if Graham had put his +passion and love foremost, and his work last, Sara would have been +sorely tempted to yield. As it was, she turned to him very sorrowfully.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Mr. Laird, what can I say? I do thank you for the honour you have +done me. But I fear it cannot be."</p> + +<p>"Why not?"</p> + +<p>He moved closer to her, and his words snapped like steel.</p> + +<p>"I could not live the life you describe to me, I working in a perfectly +different sphere to you, and both of us without any unity or sympathy +with each other in the vital questions of life."</p> + +<p>"We have been living in the same house with each other for a full +year," he said; "and speaking for myself, I have never been so happy +before in my life. Why should we not continue to do the same?"</p> + +<p>"But would it be the same?"</p> + +<p>"No," he said, with a break in his voice; "of course it would not. But +believe me, I could and would make you happy. You would have perfect +liberty to do what you chose or thought best. Oh, Sara—I may call you +so, may I not? Don't answer me in a hurry. If you doubt my sympathy, I +swear here that you would have it in full. And think of my mother's joy +and happiness! It would give her a new lease of life. May I tell you it +has been her crowning desire to have you as her daughter? It will break +her heart, I believe, if you refuse."</p> + +<p>There was silence, then Sara said softly—</p> + +<p>"Your greatest inducements are work and a mother-in-law; a woman wants +more than that. But it is as well that you should put it so, for I feel +it is easier to refuse."</p> + +<p>"You shall not refuse me on that account!" Passion and fire shot from +his eyes. "I have kept my own feelings in the background because until +I had your leave, I was not going to unlock my heart. You know without +my telling you that you are enshrined there. A man who comes to my age +without falling in love with a woman is bitten very deeply when his +time comes. I told my mother long ago you were the one woman in the +world to me. But what had I to offer you! Now I can at least offer +you a comfortable home and a life free from money anxieties. And I +want you, Sara, I want you! I would move heaven and earth to win your +love! Is it quite impossible? Is your heart absolutely indifferent to +me? Do you know that to have you in the same room with me is heaven? +Life itself is darkness without you. Are you going to make religion +the paltry reason for refusing me? Your principles are utterly at +fault, if because I can't feign to believe in all that a woman finds so +easy, you must separate yourself from me. Don't you realize what your +influence has been in our house? If you take it away from me—I will be +personal—shall I be nearer your God and heaven?"</p> + +<p>"What do you believe?" Sara asked desperately. She was walking slowly +along the lake and he paced by her side.</p> + +<p>"I believe in the Creator of the Universe, but I cannot associate Him +with my daily life. I can't believe He manages and guides me in all I +do. I live an upright life—at least I have a try at it—and as far as +the other world goes, nobody knows anything about it. Let theologians +surmise and disagree as they always do, it has nothing to do with +me. You are not going to tell me that this matter of religion is the +obstacle to our union?"</p> + +<p>"I am afraid it is," said Sara, slowly. "If I married a man—and I could +not do that unless I loved him with all my soul—life in this world only +would not content me. I should want to be with him always, and if he +did not attempt to desire to know God in this world, he most certainly +would not care to live in His Presence in the next. And I should never +be able to talk with him of the things I loved best. I should always +have to keep back the thoughts of my heart, and we would drift further +and further apart. You have planned out two separate lives for each of +us, lived in the same house, but as far apart as the north and south +poles. I would be in one life, you in another. You would be bored to +death by hearing any details of mine, I should feel that I had my +province, and must keep in it; and you would keep in yours. No, Mr. +Laird, I have the greatest respect and confidence in you—but we cannot +join our lives together. I grieve to refuse, for you are offering me +much, but I dare not do otherwise. It would mean misery and disaster to +both of us."</p> + +<p>"Then I say, as I said the other day, you good people are Pharisees of +the deepest dye."</p> + +<p>Tears came to Sara's eyes.</p> + +<p>"It sounds so, but if you only saw into my heart, you would think +differently. What can I say? Marriage is bound to be a failure if the +two bound together have not the same aims and objects in life, if they +do not revolve round the same centre."</p> + +<p>"Oh, leave all these theories alone, let your heart speak, not your +head. Love is the foundation for a happy marriage. Do you love me? Look +me in the face, and tell me the truth."</p> + +<p>He had got in front of her, and seizing hold of both of her hands drew +her with a gentle force towards himself.</p> + +<p>Sara stood perfectly still with downcast eyes, but he felt her hands +tremble in his.</p> + +<p>"Look me in the face," he said; but Sara would not.</p> + +<p>Then she gave a weary little sigh.</p> + +<p>"Love is very strong," she said, "but if it is only love for this +life, it is not worth much. What good would love do if you and I +were drowning? Supposing I got safely to a rock, and you were still +struggling in the water, if you refused the rock, would our love be +worth much?"</p> + +<p>He dropped her hands.</p> + +<p>"You are as cold and hard as ice!" he said bitterly. "I will say no +more."</p> + +<p>In silence they retraced their steps to the house. Then just as he +opened the gate for her, Sara put her hand on his arm. It was dusk, but +he saw that tears were in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"Forgive me for having hurt you," she said; "you can have the assurance +that I am if anything more unhappy than you are at present. I would +give a good deal to be able to give you the answer you would like."</p> + +<p>"You are wrapped up in unassailable self-righteousness," was the quick +reply, "too celestial to mate with men on the earth!"</p> + +<p>He had hurt her now, and he knew it, but he was in a seething state of +wild rebellion and bitter disappointment. He went straight off to his +study and stayed there, and Sara shut herself into her room and had a +very miserable hour.</p> + +<p>"I have allowed myself to love him," she moaned; "and now I am dealing +him a real blow. How I long to go straight down to the study and +into his arms! If only he had the one thing! He is so unselfish, so +honourable, so chivalrous and kind to women in need! I could trust him +so utterly and entirely! And yet I know it would spoil his life and +mine if we married each other. He would shunt all the religious work +off on me and never give it a thought. If he has to tackle it alone, +isn't it possible that it may lead him to think more seriously! Oh, I +hope it may, for I feel as if I have now destroyed something in his +soul, and I must, I do, seem a self-righteous prig! How difficult it +is! If he only knew that I am deliberately shutting the gate of golden +romance and love in front of me. I have only now a lonely old age to +look forward to, and I love him. I can't do anything but love him with +all my heart and with all my soul."</p> + +<p>Tears would have been a relief to her, but she fought them bravely, +this was no time for tears. Mrs. Laird was expecting her even now in +the drawing-room to pour out afternoon tea. She must go down, and wear +a bright face as usual.</p> + +<p>She was rather relieved when she did go to find that Ina was out. Mrs. +Laird and she were quite alone. Graham sent in word that he was busy +and did not want any tea. Sara was glad of the message. Not so his +mother. Instinctively she knew something was wrong. She looked across +at Sara in perplexity.</p> + +<p>"Did you not come in together, Sara? Is he upset at your going away? +Has anything passed between you?"</p> + +<p>"A good deal," said Sara, gently; "and we are both unhappy in +consequence. Your son has made me an offer of marriage, dear Mrs. +Laird, and I have refused him."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird uttered a little piteous cry.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Sara, it has been the hope of my heart lately. Don't say that you +mean it! I longed for him to speak to you before. He has loved you ever +since the first day that you entered the house; he told me so. But he +has been diffident of himself, and with his rare unselfishness was +afraid of your refusal, and then feared for my sake that his proposal +would drive you away from us. He has been so happy lately. He hoped the +congenial work waiting for you might induce you to look upon him more +favourably. He has such humble ideas of his own power to attract, and +he is so proud and reticent that a refusal from you will be very bitter +to him. Don't you love him, dear? I have seen a look in your eyes +sometimes when he is speaking that makes me think you must."</p> + +<p>Sara knelt down by Mrs. Laird's chair, and tried to speak calmly.</p> + +<p>"Oh, dear Mrs. Laird, I know how I am disappointing you, but much as I +like and admire your son as a friend, I could not make him my husband. +We should not be suited to each other. We should not make each other +happy."</p> + +<p>"Why not? He worships the ground you tread on, he has never given me a +day's anxiety in his life; a good son makes a good husband. Is he not +good enough for you?"</p> + +<p>Tears rose in Sara's eyes, and could not be repressed.</p> + +<p>"I fear you will not understand," she whispered; "I could not marry any +one who did not put God first in his life. I am not a woman who can +marry easily. I am no mere girl, and I have my ideals. No happiness +comes to those who are not absolutely one in the matter of eternal +things."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird was speechless. But she stooped and kissed Sara.</p> + +<p>"That will come," she said with conviction; "a mother's prayers will be +answered. Is that your only reason for refusing him?"</p> + +<p>Sara nodded. She could not speak.</p> + +<p>"Never mind, my dear. I have learnt to wait, and I can wait still. You +will pray for him with me."</p> + +<p>Ina came in at this moment, and their talk was interrupted.</p> + +<p>Sara was busy for the rest of the day packing and leaving instructions +for Ina and the servants.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next morning the post was late, and letters were opened at the +breakfast table. Graham made an exclamation as he read one of his. His +mother's quick eyes had seen that it was from Eva.</p> + +<p>"I must go up to town at once," he said. "I was going to drive you to +the station, Miss Darlington. I think now that I shall accompany you to +town if you will allow me."</p> + +<p>Sara murmured that she would be very pleased, though she hardly felt so.</p> + +<p>"Is it business?" asked Mrs. Laird. "You have heard from Eva, have you +not?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, it is her business. She is staying in town and wants to see me. +It is rather important."</p> + +<p>So very shortly afterwards Graham was driving Sara to the station, and +though both were silent, both were thinking of the first drive when +they met each other for the first time. It was a cold foggy day. He was +very particular about her comfort, and when they were settled in the +train, wrapped his own plaid round her knees to keep her warm. Then, +when they were really off, he spoke.</p> + +<p>"A night's rest has made me ashamed of myself," he said; "I want to +apologize for my lack in courtesy yesterday—I promise you I am not +going to refer to the matter again. You have a perfect right to act in +life as you think best. And I bow to your decision. For my mother's +sake there need not be a break in our friendship, need there?"</p> + +<p>Sara looked up at him and smiled.</p> + +<p>"No," she said; "and I shall go away the happier for feeling that there +is no bitterness between us."</p> + +<p>Peace was made. Though they did not talk much, all awkwardness +disappeared between them, and when they arrived at Euston Station, it +was with mutual good will that they parted.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>And then Sara found herself in her brother's house again, being +welcomed with tears from Lacy, and with real gratitude and affection +from Arnold. He took her straight upstairs to the nursery, and himself +took his baby son out of his cot and put him in her arms.</p> + +<p>"He has suffered, poor mite, from being motherless, and the first days +were torment to me, hearing his incessant wail for her. But now he is +all right, nurse tells me."</p> + +<p>Sara bent down and kissed the tiny puckered face.</p> + +<p>"I will do my best to be a mother to him," she said softly.</p> + +<p>The baby opened his eyes and looked up, then a faint smile came to his +lips.</p> + +<p>"There!" said the old monthly nurse triumphantly. "He has taken you +into his little heart, ma'am."</p> + +<p>And Sara felt that from that moment she had taken him into hers.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t1"> +BOOK II<br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_1">CHAPTER I</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A MOVE TO THE COUNTRY</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"WELL, my dear Sara, and how are you? And the infant? I've come in for +a regular good long gossip. I only got back to town last night, and two +months' absence is an unheard-of thing for me!"</p> + +<p>It was little Miss Grafton who spoke. Sara had been living in her +brother's house for six months, and it was now June. She was sitting +in the upstairs drawing-room by the open window. The balcony outside +was gay with flowers. Inside, the room was fragrant with pots of lilies +of the valley and mignonette. Sara herself always gave her friends the +idea of fresh fragrance. She was in a pale blue linen gown, and she was +sewing some dainty white for the chubby baby, who was sprawling on a +soft rug at her feet.</p> + +<p>"I am always delighted to see you, as you know," she said. "Come and +have my chair. It is very comfortable."</p> + +<p>"So is this one, thank you. I don't want to disturb the pretty picture +before me. Bless me! How the boy has grown!"</p> + +<p>The baby, seeing a stranger, began to whimper. Sara put down her work, +and took him upon her lap. With coaxing words and smiles she comforted +him. And pillowing his head on her arm, he put his thumb in his mouth, +and placidly regarded the old lady in front of him.</p> + +<p>"Isn't he a darling? Nurse had to go out and I am minding him. Well! +We are going along very smoothly. I don't see much of Arnold. He is +out a good deal, and is working very hard at present. He is not the +same man since his wife's death, Miss Grafton. He seems restless and +preoccupied. Yesterday evening he told me he had a chance of going +abroad, and he thought he would take it."</p> + +<p>"And does he want you to go with him?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, dear no! I suppose I shall stay on here."</p> + +<p>"Not through the very hot weather, will you?"</p> + +<p>"It would be nice to take baby to the sea," said Sara, reflectively. "I +must talk to Arnold about it."</p> + +<p>"And how are your friends in the North? Do you hear from them still?"</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Laird is a very regular correspondent. I heard from her this +month. They have quite settled down in their new home. They went +straight into the old cousin's house. I think I told you about her, did +I not? I heard one pleasant bit of news. Ina, the nice girl who is with +Mrs. Laird and who took my place, is just engaged to be married."</p> + +<p>"Oh, ho! To that immaculate son, I suppose. What is his name? Gerald, +isn't it?"</p> + +<p>"Graham. No, not to him, but to his great friend, a Colonel Fleming. +I am so very glad! He is such a cheery delightful little man, and so +good!"</p> + +<p>"And they are going to be married soon? She'll be leaving the old lady. +What a pity she did not marry the other man, and then they could have +still remained the same happy family! Do you know, at one time I was +almost afraid you would have engaged yourself to him. I am sure he must +have adored you."</p> + +<p>Sara looked down at the baby in her arms. His eyes were heavy with +sleep. She altered his position a little, and then was able to meet her +old friend's bright eyes with equanimity.</p> + +<p>"He and I would not have suited each other, Miss Grafton."</p> + +<p>"Ah, Sara, my dear, you must marry! The way you hold that child makes +me know you were meant for a mother. Don't be too fastidious. Don't +drift into a single life as I did, because I was always waiting for an +impossible bird in the bush."</p> + +<p>Sara laughed her low happy laugh, but there was a wistful look in her +eyes, which did not escape Miss Grafton.</p> + +<p>"What a pity they have left that lovely country place by the lake and +mountains!" continued the old lady. "For you and baby could have paid +them a visit. I am sure they would have loved to have you. But as it +is, a colliery town is not the most attractive place in summer."</p> + +<p>"No, I don't think that place would be at all feasible," replied Sara.</p> + +<p>A little silence fell upon them, broken by the entrance of Lacy +ushering in a visitor.</p> + +<p>And the visitor was Colonel Fleming.</p> + +<p>"I took the chance of finding you at home. This is good."</p> + +<p>He came forward in his usual hearty, impetuous fashion, and Sara +welcomed him gladly.</p> + +<p>She introduced him to Miss Grafton.</p> + +<p>"I've never looked her up before," he said to the old lady in a +confidential manner, "but I was up on particular business, and I wanted +her advice. I always admire her taste, and it's a serious matter. +Oh, don't go! I'm an old fogy and ought not to be bashful! It's the +important question of an engagement ring. I've got a lot of them, in my +pocket somewhere—hope I haven't lost them!"</p> + +<p>He was pulling things furiously out of his pockets, talking hard as he +did so.</p> + +<p>"Funny to see you handling a baby! But, whether it's a baby, or sick +bird, or a pot of bulbs, you always do seem made for it! Ever see such +a young person for establishing herself as a protector and caretaker +for every human being she comes across?"</p> + +<p>He had turned to Miss Grafton now, who, much against her inclination, +was rising to go.</p> + +<p>"I'm sure you two will like a good talk together. No, I won't stay. I +only live opposite, and can run in any time. Good-bye, my dear Sara. +And I hope you will be able to give the needed help and advice."</p> + +<p>She was out of the room as briskly as if she had never been an invalid. +In the summer, Miss Grafton always revived in a most marvellous fashion.</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming found his packet, but there was another interruption in +the entrance of the nurse who took her charge away, and Sara was now +able to give her whole attention to the excited little Colonel.</p> + +<p>"I must give you my warm congratulations," she said. "I have only just +heard the news. I don't know which of you is most to be congratulated."</p> + +<p>"That's very nice of you, but I'm a lucky man. She's so different to +the usual modern girls, now isn't she? Such a thorough home-loving +little soul, as unselfish as they're made! And such cheery company for +an old duffer like myself. Do you think I'm too old for her? She says +she doesn't like young men. And I'll give her a happy time, God helping +me, such as she has never had before!"</p> + +<p>"It's delightful," said Sara. "I hoped you two would come together. She +is a darling, and is so true and constant to those she loves."</p> + +<p>"She's tons too good for me," said Colonel Fleming.</p> + +<p>And then he produced his case of rings, fingering them doubtfully.</p> + +<p>"I came off at once. I was determined to get her a nice one, and then +I thought of you—if old Lambert hadn't known me all his life, he might +have thought I was going to rob him! I caught up this case—told him I +would be back in an hour's time—hailed a taxi in passing, and here I +am! Now, what do you think I ought to give her? Pearls are more her +sort, aren't they? I always think diamonds are vulgarized by the kind +who wear them. But I like this old emerald and diamonds. What do you +think? Will you choose for her?"</p> + +<p>Sara bent her mind to the task. They finally selected a beautiful pearl +ring with a diamond in the centre. That business over, he settled down +to talk.</p> + +<p>"We have missed you, 'pon my word we have. And Ina is quaking now as +to what her duty is. She feels you left Mrs. Laird to her as a trust, +and she at first—would you believe it?—wouldn't listen to me, said Mrs. +Laird had been so good and kind to her that she couldn't leave her. She +got quite distressed, so I let the matter drop, and then got hold of +Graham on the sly, and he told his mother, and she of course made it +all right. I can't get over the change in Mrs. Laird, I really can't! +She isn't the same woman. Why, she's visiting some of the old people +round her and taking the greatest interest in all her neighbours!"</p> + +<p>"I'm so glad! And how is Mr. Laird getting on in his new sphere?"</p> + +<p>The Colonel hesitated.</p> + +<p>"He's not himself at all. Can't make the chap out. Look here, you +and I are chums, you know! You won't take offence. I guessed what +had happened—and Graham let out to me the trouble—and though I see +your point, I'm awfully disappointed—he's such a good fellow—except +perhaps the one thing—but, do you know, I think he poses as being more +indifferent than he really is about religion. He takes his mother to +church now as a regular thing.</p> + +<p>"What I can't understand is the hold Mrs. Jeffery has over him. That +little woman never leaves him alone for a week at a time. She's always +writing to him, or sending for him—and she's moved up to Chester +now—within a few hours' reach of him by train, and the amount of +business she and he do together would appal you! I always told you +that she's after him! And I suppose you don't care. I don't often feel +afraid of women, but she does give me the squirms! If Graham is fool +enough to marry her, he will rue it. His mother and I are kindred +spirits on that point. I can see she is very uneasy."</p> + +<p>"Are you staying in town for long?" Sara asked, wishing to change the +subject.</p> + +<p>"I go to-morrow—am putting up at my club for the night."</p> + +<p>"I have not asked yet where you have settled?"</p> + +<p>"I've got an awfully snug little place—couldn't cotton to the town, +so scoured the suburbs and country round. And one day I found what I +wanted, only two miles out, but it lies in the corner of the moor in +a sheltered hollow—is called Beckdale Hollow. An artist fellow built +it—thatched roof—and a big studio which I have turned into a kind of +hall, and the garden is well-stocked and secluded, and the stables' +yard. I'm going to keep some live stock—a cow and fowls and piggeries, +etcetera, but I'm not going to farm—have had enough of that. I have +taken over a colliers' club and am running it—and on Sundays I go in +and meet them—not as a parson, but a friend—and then I give them a +little Sunday talk, and we have singing. You should hear those chaps +sing! And I do a lot of odd jobs for Graham—quite good for me to keep +me from getting rusty."</p> + +<p>"And soon," said Sara, smiling, "you will have a dear little wife to +take care of, and will no longer be lonely in your home. Oh, I am very, +very glad for you both!"</p> + +<p>"I knew you would be."</p> + +<p>His voice softened—</p> + +<p>"If you only knew the loneliness of the past years! I can hardly +believe in my good fortune! I shall have her love always in my future +now! My cup runs over, doesn't it?"</p> + +<p>"You deserve it."</p> + +<p>He shook his head.</p> + +<p>"Well—I must get back with these rings, or I shall have the police on +my track. Any messages? I've got the picture of you photographed on my +brain—here in this pretty room, in your blue gown, and the sleeping +baby in your arms—a good thing for you to have the interest of him, eh? +You're looking a trifle thin! Miss the keen air on those hills, eh? +London soon takes an outer rim off one!"</p> + +<p>"Give them my dear love," said Sara, the light coming to her eyes; +"and—and Colonel Fleming—I speak plainly like yourself—don't forget Mr. +Laird in your new happiness. He is a lonely man too remember, and a +more difficult nature to understand than—than yours. Don't let him feel +you're not interested in him. Don't drive him into Mrs. Jeffery's arms!"</p> + +<p>Colonel Fleming shot a keen glance at her.</p> + +<p>"I believe he's there already!" he blurted out. "But bless your kind +little soul! Graham and I are old pals. I'll stick to him as I always +have. Wife or no wife. Good-bye—awfully nice seeing you again. May I +look you up when I'm next in town? And I say—remember you're booked for +the wedding. Coming off in September, I believe. Don't you fail us!"</p> + +<p>He was out of the room before he had finished speaking.</p> + +<p>He had brought Sara a whiff of the old life; and the ache at her +heart made itself felt. How she longed to go back with him! But she +resolutely set herself to think of other things. Vain regrets would not +be profitable, she assured herself. She had acted as she felt right; +she must not torture herself now by questioning her decision. She could +only pray and hope that Graham would not rush recklessly into taking a +step that he would afterwards regret.</p> + +<p>And then, as she sat dreaming by the open window, her brother came in, +and claimed her attention.</p> + +<p>"Sara, Talbot Gray is going out to the Rockies for a year. He wants me +to go with him."</p> + +<p>"And are you going?" Sara asked, looking up with a smile. "You told me +last night you might have the chance of going abroad. I suppose this is +it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. Will you mind? I can't settle to my work. I think a year's break +will do me good. Will you look after my boy?"</p> + +<p>"Assuredly I will. I think you are wise, Arnold. You will come back +fresh and ready for your work again. But now we must talk business. +What about this house? Could we not let it? I have got a little tired +of town life. Baby and I will be better and happier in the country."</p> + +<p>"Really? Surely you would have more friends in town?"</p> + +<p>"I think not, and running this house is an expense, and rather an +unnecessary one. Let me find a small cottage in the country, and take +nurse and another good servant. May I?"</p> + +<p>"If you would prefer it, of course. Sara, why don't you marry?"</p> + +<p>He spoke abruptly, and Sara looked up at him with astonishment in her +eyes.</p> + +<p>"Why should you ask me such a question?"</p> + +<p>"Because you're too good to be wasted," said her brother promptly. +"You're one of the women in the world who have the art of making men +really comfortable. My poor little wife never had it. Things were +always going wrong and worrying her to death. Nothing ever seems to go +wrong when you're in a house, or else you have the art of hiding it +away from us men!"</p> + +<p>Sara laughed merrily—</p> + +<p>"You poor men! You do value a life of comfort, don't you? It won't +hurt you to miss your home comforts, Arnold, for a while! But, joking +apart, I thank you for the compliment paid me. And I assure you that I +am perfectly happy in my single state, and wish nothing better than to +go on making people comfortable. Now then, let us talk about the money +part of this plan of yours. How much will your trip cost? How much can +you afford to leave me?"</p> + +<p>Brother and sister were soon deep in calculation. Sara never made a +fuss about any impending changes. She immediately adapted herself to +her new circumstances. But when she went to bed that night, she did +have a few lonely reflections.</p> + +<p>"I shall miss him dreadfully. To be shut up with a baby and two +servants, and have no sensible intellect with which I can exchange a +few sentiments will be a trial. But, after all, I have the darling boy +to train, and I am not a person without resources. Yes, I think I will +venture upon the country. It will suit us better, especially in the hot +weather coming!"</p> + +<p>Her brother rapidly made his arrangements to leave.</p> + +<p>At the last moment in parting, he looked at his sister with +affectionate scrutinizing eyes.</p> + +<p>"You have been an angel to leave your own life, and come back to me. +And I'm making you a shabby return by going off away from you. But I +felt that you were wasting yourself on some second-rate uninteresting +people, so that made me bold in asking you to leave them."</p> + +<p>"They are not second-rate," said Sara, quickly; "I count them as dear +friends now."</p> + +<p>"Do you want to go back to them?"</p> + +<p>"No, I can never do that."</p> + +<p>"You see, Sara, the fact is I can't settle down. The house reminds me +so of her! I have got to hate every room in it. It has been different +since you came, but I feel still that I must get away. And you are very +fond of my small Oliver, aren't you?"</p> + +<p>"Oliver is a darling!" said Sara, brightly. "He will keep me busy and +occupied, till you come back."</p> + +<p>So her brother went.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>And Sara and her old friend Miss Grafton were much together whilst she +was arranging to let the house, and trying to find a suitable home for +herself and the baby.</p> + +<p>At last, she settled upon a certain farmhouse in Devon, a farmhouse +which possessed four good airy rooms for letting. She went down herself +to inspect them, and fell in love with the place.</p> + +<p>The house stood on a slope of a hill facing south, and was in a lonely +bit of wooded country. There was an apple orchard in front, and the +four rooms composed a complete wing of the house, two downstairs, one +of which was the kitchen, the other a very comfortable sitting-room, +and two large rooms above. The farmer's wife said she could let a +smaller room as well, if desired, and Sara took this. The baby's nurse +was a staid elderly woman, and the other maid she meant to take with +her was Lacy, who had implored not to be left behind.</p> + +<p>"I am quite a good hand at cooking, and I would gladly be a one-handed +general if only you'll keep me with you. I've endured a lot since you +went away, ma'am. But I've always said to myself, 'Miss Sara will come +back one day, and then she'll want to see me here.' And you've come +now, and you'll let me stay with you for the rest of your days I'm +hoping!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Lacy, you dear old thing!" said Sara, smiling through sudden +tears. "Of course you shall come, and you and I will study cooking +together. I have told nurse she must be willing to take her meals in +the kitchen with you. She and baby will have a big room upstairs to +themselves, and you must be content with a small room if you come."</p> + +<p>"I'm content with anything," said Lacy, in a satisfied tone.</p> + +<p>And Sara was delighted at the thought of having her, for she knew what +a treasure she would prove.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It was the middle of July when they journeyed down to Devon, and Sara +never forgot that first summer evening when they arrived at the farm. +An old-fashioned roomy jingle met them at the station, driven by a very +self-possessed small boy, who informed Sara he was Master Shiplake, and +had left school for good the week before.</p> + +<p>"So I'm helpin' feyther to the farm, an' the hay is out, an' one thing +an' another will kep me busy till winter, an' then I means to have a +try at a writin' clerk's place in Lunnon. I thought as ye were strange +to Rattlecombe, I'd best meet ye instead of old Sam."</p> + +<p>He talked most of the way; the old white pony stepped very leisurely +up the hill. Sara with nurse and baby were inside the jingle. Lacy +preferred to walk. A station luggage-cart brought up the rear.</p> + +<p>They passed along a road arched over with leafy elms; they saw some +red cows sauntering on in front going home to be milked. And then they +turned in at a white gate, and the old yellow cob-walled farmhouse +with its thatched roof lay before them. It was a quite drowsy time of +day, an old sheep dog lay outside the porch door fast asleep. A row +of beehives was along the garden path next the old cob garden wall, a +border of bright hollyhocks, sunflowers, and Madonna lilies were behind +them.</p> + +<p>There were striped holland blinds outside the windows, and a little +breeze was flapping them to and fro. In the orchard beyond the garden +were some turkeys, and fowls strutting up and down; the humming of the +bees hovering over the hollyhocks, the clucking of the hens and turkeys +were the only sounds to disturb the stillness that reigned. Then the +sheep dog suddenly raised his head and barked, and in an instant there +was life and bustle around them.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Shiplake, a good-looking, matronly woman, came to the door. Then +she called a ruddy-checked servant, and the farmer himself came down to +the gate to welcome them.</p> + +<p>When Sara got into her sitting-room, she found an appetizing tea +already prepared, and there was a delicious smell of hot baked bread in +the house. She turned to Lacy with shining eyes.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Lacy, isn't this better than London? Look at this nosegay of +flowers on the table. Did you ever smell anything sweeter than these +old-fashioned cabbage roses?"</p> + +<p>And Lacy smiled, as well pleased as her mistress.</p> + +<p>"I've just slipped into the kitchen, ma'am, and had a squint at the +stove. Quite a nice little oven, and plenty of crockery and cupboards. +I think we shall settle in beautiful!"</p> + +<p>And later on, when Sara wandered out by herself in the dusky orchard +and heard the owls begin to hoot, and the frogs croak in the stream +beyond, she lifted up her face to the starlit heavens, and thanked God +for having brought her to such a peaceful home.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_2">CHAPTER II</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>UNWELCOME NEWS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE first day at the farm was one of keen enjoyment to Sara. She was +very busy adjusting and arranging things, so as to make every one +comfortable in the simple life to which they had come. Mrs. Shiplake +was a keen brisk worker, and had enough to do in her part of the farm +to keep her busy there all the day. Lacy settled down into her kitchen +with great content. Nurse was the only one who had to be kept in a good +temper, for she was a Londoner, and missed her town comforts.</p> + +<p>Little Oliver was out all day long in his pram or rolling on his +crawling rug. He was a fair bonny boy, sweet-tempered and full of +spirits. Sara grew fonder of him day by day; and he now welcomed her +with a smile and crow of recognition, holding out his dimpled arms to +be taken up whenever he saw her.</p> + +<p>One day of peace Sara had. And then upon the second morning after their +arrival, she got a letter from Mrs. Laird.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAREST SARA,<br> +<br> + "The blow has fallen, and my fears have been justified. Graham came +to me this morning, and told me that he had married Eva quietly in a +church in Chester, where she has been staying for the last two months. +I asked him why he had concealed his engagement. Eva, of course, had +begged him to do so, fearing that I might be upset. I won't write the +bitterness that is in my heart. You will feel for me, but I am going to +pray hard for the grace that I shall need when I have to receive her +as my daughter-in-law. Oh, Sara! I won't reproach you, but it is the +losing you that has made him reckless. And Eva has tightened her hold +of him, and has never let him go, till she has gained her object. And +my son is not happy. There is a harassed look on his face.<br> +<br> + "One thing I am determined upon, and that is to find myself a little +house, where I can live alone. I have told him to-day, and he is vexed +with me, but I mean to be quite firm. He does not like this house and +Eva wants to live in the best part of the town, so perhaps till Ina +marries, she and I will stay on where we are."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>There was a break in the letter here. Then an addition came—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "She has come over this afternoon. Very sweet and gentle, but that she +always is. She does not look at all well; she is very thin, and looks +ten years older than when I saw her before. I was as kind as I could +be, and I am thankful to say she did not stay long. Her little girl is +still at a boarding-school. She begged me to forgive the secrecy of +their engagement and wedding. 'I wanted to be married very quietly,' +she said; 'I have been worried and depressed lately, but I mean to +take a new lease of life now. Graham and I have planned out lots of +delightful things together.' 'Your husband is a very busy man,' I said; +'this new estate and all the business connected with it entails a lot +of arduous work.' And then she laughed.<br> +<br> + "'I shall make him play!' she said. And I could not help smiling, +though I was nearer tears. Graham is not a man who knows how to take +life lightly, and recreation is always difficult to him. Well, my dear +Sara, this is my news. My heart seems stunned with it, but I have +courage now to face troubles which I could never have faced before.<br> +<br> + "Write and tell me all you are doing. I am very angry with your brother +for going off and leaving you all alone. How I wish I could see you +with your little nephew in your arms! Will you not be photographed and +send me a print? I should love to have one of you.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 10em;">"Yours always lovingly,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 14.5em;">"RACHAEL LAIRD."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara sat reading this letter at her breakfast. It was placed for her +on a round table by the window, where she could look out upon the rich +meadowland below her, and feel the sweet scented air fan her cheeks as +it came through the open window. She had been rejoicing in this sunny +summer's morning a moment or two before. Now as she gazed out with +shadowed eyes, there seemed no golden buttercup meadows, no sun sending +flickers of colour across the valley down below, no scent of roses and +pinks in the borders outside her window. It was a grey hard world she +was seeing before her, a dusty monotonous never-ending climb uphill.</p> + +<p>Her hand clenched upon the letter, and her lips took a straight firm +line. She had had to go through troublous times before in her life, but +never yet had any trouble touched her heart as this one was doing now. +Her unspoken thought was—</p> + +<p>"Why am I punished for acting rightly? Why have I brought punishment +and misery upon those I care for, and love? If I had been less +single-hearted, less high-principled, if I had followed my heart's +desire, and taken the sunny easy path, this would not have happened!"</p> + +<p>Then the hard bitterness passed away from her eyes, and they grew misty +with tears.</p> + +<p>"It does not matter about me, but dear Mrs. Laird! I hoped she was +going to enjoy a little sunshine in her old age. It is enough to shake +her faith! Oh, how could he! How could he! He has a home and a mother +who loves him. He has lived for years in a grey clouded atmosphere, and +now that the clouds have gone, he might have been content. I cannot +understand it. Surely he is too self-contained, too sane to act on a +hot angry impulse. I cannot believe it is I who drove him to it! Poor +dear Mrs. Laird! How can I comfort her?"</p> + +<p>"If you please, ma'am, can you have baby?"</p> + +<p>Sara turned. Nurse stood in the doorway with the laughing crowing child +in her arms.</p> + +<p>Sara caught hold of him. The touch of his soft baby fingers in her +hair, the warmth and sweetness of his little body in her arms, brought +a strange comfort to her aching heart.</p> + +<p>"Oh, my little Oliver," she murmured, "will you grow up and bring +trouble upon those you love, I wonder? Is it in you to bring sadness +and tears to one who is weak and helpless and old? But we'll come out +into the sunshine, baby, and put dull care away!"</p> + +<p>No one seeing Sara a few minutes later as she played with her little +nephew upon the sunny grass and pelted him with fallen rose petals, +whilst he kicked and laughed with glee, could have imagined that she +had just received a death knell to her secret hopes. For in her heart +of hearts, Sara had not doubted that sooner or later she and Graham +would come together. She had prayed for him earnestly, she felt that +like the young ruler in the Gospels he was "not far from the Kingdom of +God," but that, like him, he was not willing or ready to cast in his +life and lot with his Saviour, and meekly follow Him day by day.</p> + +<p>Now she knew that Eva's influence would not bring him nearer the life +she coveted for him. And her own life looked bleak and grey before her.</p> + +<p>When her hour with her little nephew was over, she went back to the +sitting-room, and replied to Mrs. Laird as follows:—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAREST MRS. LAIRD,<br> +<br> + "Your news perplexes and astonishes me, but do not let it fill you +with dismay. In life, to use a common platitude, what can't be cured, +must be endured. I love to think that you will not fail your son, and +already your courage has risen to the occasion. His welfare is your +first thought, I know. Do not blame me for this step which he has +taken. Mrs. Jeffery has had a strange hold upon him for a long time. I +think it is her weakness and helplessness that appeal to him. He has +always been ready to lend his strength to the weak, has he not? And I +cannot help feeling that his absolutely unselfish life will mould and +influence her character. She may regret the past. In any case, it is +buried and done with, is it not? Remember, if I had linked my life to +his as you wished, he would not have broken with Eva. Complications +might have ensued, and I might have become a jealous miserable wife. +God, I am sure, has it all in His Hands to work out as He sees fit. My +heart may sometimes misgive me for my decision, my conscience never +does. Now, please let this chapter in my life be buried with the +others. I cannot and will not speak of it again.<br> +<br> + "At present, I am sure you are happy with dear Ina, and when she +marries, do you think you could come and pay me a little visit? I think +I shall be still here if all goes well. It is not like your hill and +lake country, it is like living in one of those pretty pictures we see +depicting rural life. The church is just as picturesque as it should +be, I see its tower peeping through the elm trees which surround it, +and which of course contain a rookery. The rectory is close to it, a +cob-walled house with thatched roof very like our farm. There is a +mill, and a river, and buttercup meadows, and much pasture land about +us. In the distance from my window, I get a glimpse of a stately white +house amongst trees, the Hall, Mr. Shiplake tells me. The Squire is +very typical of his race, I should think. He hunts in the winter, and +is very keen on farming. Mrs. Shiplake tells me he is the cleverest +farmer in the county. He is a widower with a grown-up daughter. His son +is in the Navy. I don't expect I shall see anything of them.<br> +<br> + "I have discovered that there is an old friend of my father's living +near this. An Admiral Burke and his wife. They have a pretty place +about three miles away. But I am quite content to enjoy the country in +solitude. I have books and work, and my darling little Oliver for the +comfort and joy of my heart. You inspire me to be photographed. There +is a country town four miles away. We will borrow the jingle and drive +over one day and see what a country photographer can produce!<br> +<br> + "Oh, dear Mrs. Laird, I am chattering away, but I feel for you, how I +feel for you! And yet I know God has you in His keeping, and He Himself +will guide and cheer you every step of the way.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">"Your loving</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 17em;">"SARA."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>After sending this cheerful letter, Sara abandoned herself to her +feelings, and she had a very miserable day in consequence.</p> + +<p>The next day was Sunday, and in the quiet peaceful little church she +received the peace of mind and consolation which she so much needed.</p> + +<p>The Rector was a middle-aged man with a careworn face, but when he +preached, his shining eyes and intensely earnest voice made his +congregation realize that his religion was a living vital force within +him. Sara was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice any of the +congregation. She came home with the Rector's text ringing through her +head.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and +reaching forth unto those things which are before.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>And for the rest of that day a quiet happy light glowed in her grey +eyes, as she thought over some of the things which were "before her."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>On Monday afternoon Sara was with the baby in the orchard, when Mrs. +Shiplake came hurriedly out to her.</p> + +<p>"The Rector's wife has called, please ma'am. I showed her into your +sitting-room. 'Tisn't often her comes our way. Her 's not one who +favours us workin' folk with her visits. But her went so far as to step +inside my kitchen and say how clean it looked! I was fair inclined to +tell how drab an' dusty I thought her hall when I was left standin' +there when I were after arrangin' for my niece's baby's christening! I—"</p> + +<p>Sara stopped the breathless flow of talk.</p> + +<p>"Will you call nurse, please, Mrs. Shiplake? She is ironing, I believe. +She had better come out here. It is a shame to take baby in."</p> + +<p>And then with a little sigh, Sara went into the house. She was pale +to-day, with dark circles round her eyes, but in her cool linen dress +and with her free easy step, and high lift of her head, Sara could not +but look a very graceful and attractive woman.</p> + +<p>Young Mrs. Peel put out her hand in a very friendly fashion. She looked +a mere girl in her short white skirt, showing a good deal of slim +ankle. She wore a white panama hat, and soft white silk shirt with pale +blue tie. She was a handsome girl, dark-haired and eyed, with warm +colour in her cheeks.</p> + +<p>"How do you do, Miss Darlington? I know all about you, but never +meant to call upon you till I saw you yesterday in church, and then I +suddenly wanted to come."</p> + +<p>"I don't think I saw you," said Sara, smiling upon her in her usual +caressing fashion; "and if I had, I should never have guessed you were +the Rector's wife."</p> + +<p>"No, I'm generally taken for his daughter, but there's only ten years +between us in age. 'An old maid and a baby,' I said to my husband in +disgust when I heard you were coming. Last summer Mrs. Shiplake had two +artists lodging there, and they were great fun! But you're not an old +maid, and you're not a rustic, and in church yesterday, I determined to +get my next hat trimmed like yours!"</p> + +<p>She laughed, and in sheer sympathy, Sara laughed too.</p> + +<p>"That's right. I don't shock you? Of course you'll know without saying +that it was before the service began I was thinking such vain thoughts! +But I'd better tell you at once that I'm not a model rector's wife. And +I told him when I married him that I would not be his curate. If I keep +his house, and give him good food, and see that his clothes are mended, +and cheer him up when he is downhearted, is not that enough? I don't +know why I am running on like this. Now do tell me why you came down to +this quiet spot."</p> + +<p>"For the same reason that other lodgers have come," said Sara, gaily, +"from love of the country, and pure air; and the longing to get out of +smoky foggy London."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Peel settled herself comfortably into the one easy-chair, and +crossed her legs in careless fashion.</p> + +<p>"Yes, that was what I felt once. I was born and brought up in a London +vicarage; and I used to think the country must be a dream of delight. +There were five of us girls. We lived in a high-terraced house, and +a backyard by way of a garden. My husband was my father's curate. He +worked himself to death nearly, and then when he was told he must get +away from town if he wished to live, he was presented with this living, +and he asked me to come with him. I saw a photo of the house and +garden, and that decided me."</p> + +<p>She paused, and looked swiftly across at Sara.</p> + +<p>"I don't know why I am talking of my own affairs like this. You won't +be interested."</p> + +<p>"But indeed I am. I was interested in you the first moment I saw you. +It is sweet of you to be so friendly. Please tell me more."</p> + +<p>Sara looked as interested as she felt.</p> + +<p>The young wife rattled on—</p> + +<p>"Well, I came; we had a delicious honeymoon, and then we took +possession, and for the first six months it seemed one long battle +against dilapidation, bad drains, dry rot, and unwholesome water! Last, +but not least, a batch of bills that would have frightened a Croesus. +Country servants, oil lamps, rats and mice, a mouldy fusty church which +always reeked of damp, and suspicious unfriendly villagers soon cured +me of romance. I've lived here for five years, and I hate and detest +it!"</p> + +<p>She looked frankly rebellious, and yet her youth and beauty and fresh +audacity had a rare charm to Sara.</p> + +<p>"My dear child," she said, "in another five years, you may learn to +love it."</p> + +<p>"Never, never! Why was I ever induced to marry a parson? He is too good +for me, Miss Darlington, miles too good! He thought he would make me +as good as himself, but he couldn't. The continual stream of services +worry me; I am a perpetual thorn in his flesh. He is getting like them +all, a mere mechanical church machine, going round and round on a +treadmill of penance and duty, an austere mystic, and I who am still +flesh and blood tied to him by unbreakable bonds, oh, what am I saying? +I love him still, of course I do. But I hate visiting the poor, I'm +not fit to teach in Sunday school, and there are times when I hate the +sound of the clanging church bell.</p> + +<p>"The only relief to me is to get up to the Hall. May and I are great +friends, but even she thinks I ought to be quite content with my life. +As if I could be! We see no one, we go nowhere. In summer we have a few +clerical garden parties, and if we are invited to the places round, the +county look upon us as quite a different class to themselves.</p> + +<p>"'Who is she?' 'Oh, a parson's wife.'</p> + +<p>"Interest dies away at once. And of course amongst my kind—other +parsons' wives, you know—I'm everything that is shocking. Dear me! I +can't conceive what you must think of me talking to you like this! But +I don't seem able to help myself!"</p> + +<p>She stopped speaking, and looked at Sara with a mixture of defiance and +wistfulness in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I am so glad to hear it all, glad to think you will let me into a +corner of your life. Now I wish I could help you! But you have youth +and health, and love for your husband. Couldn't you try to find the +only thing that would make your life a joy to you instead of a burden?"</p> + +<p>"What do you mean? What could make stagnation different? Oh, don't let +us talk any more about myself! Tell me a little of your history. Do +you know that this morning a poisonous little reptile of a creature, +a village dressmaker who goes out to work at various parsons' houses, +suggested to me that there might be a mystery about you? Such a +handsome young lady, and single, and an infant baby! Can't you hear +her? I jumped down her throat, and was glad to be able to say that +Admiral Burke was a great friend of yours. Has he called yet? He told +us that you and your brother were a devoted pair before your brother +married. What a sad thing for him to lose his wife and only have this +infant in her stead! I wish—"</p> + +<p>She stopped and thought better of uttering her wish.</p> + +<p>"What are you going to do with yourself here?"</p> + +<p>"Read a great deal," said Sara, smiling at her visitor. "Write some +letters, and fill up my other time with sewing, and playing with baby. +What do you do with yourself? Have you any hobbies?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, one. I paint—but not landscapes—figures and miniatures. I believe +I could have been an artist, if I had not married. Then I should have +been some good. Here I am a failure."</p> + +<p>"You musn't say that to me," said Sara, briskly; "failures are such +miserably depressing things. Why, you have hope and buoyancy in your +face! I should think the villagers love a visit from you, don't they?"</p> + +<p>"I hardly ever go near them. I told you, I hate visiting the poor. We +haven't an idea in common. I did try to paint one of their children +once, and what do you think the mother said after a few sittings? +That she wasn't going to have her child tired out, just to bring more +money to the rich. She said if she wasn't to be paid for it well, she +shouldn't let her come. So I sent the child home at once. I suppose she +thought I was going to paint a picture and sell it. I wonder if you +would let me sketch you one day? You, and the wonderful baby! I saw +you with him in the orchard as I came up the garden. You made quite a +picture!"</p> + +<p>Sara promised to give her a sitting, and she promptly arranged that she +would come over the next day and make a start. Then she got up to go.</p> + +<p>Sara asked her to stay to tea, but she said she had promised her +husband to be back to tea with him.</p> + +<p>"You must come to us. Come to tea with us to-morrow, after I have +started my sketch. You see how unconventional I am; I ought to wait +till you return my call. But I'm lonely and dull, and the very minute +I saw your face, I wanted to know you. And now I'm going, and I've +talked, as usual, of nobody but myself, and I know nothing of your +interests, your life! You must talk to-morrow and I will listen. +Good-bye."</p> + +<p>Sara walked down to the garden gate with her visitor, rather breathless +at the sudden onslaught which had been made upon her time and interest.</p> + +<p>But she had noted the lonely wistful spirit behind the heedless +self-centred talk, and her heart warmed to the young wife. She was glad +that she had called.</p> + +<p>When Mrs. Shiplake came in with the tea, she said—</p> + +<p>"Well-a-day, ma'am, you've had Mrs. Peel a long time. Her don't dress +or talk or act like our Rector's wife should, do her? Her be but a +giddy thoughtless child, an' they say, her leadeth her husband a +terrible life!"</p> + +<p>"I thought she was a very bright pleasant little person," said Sara. +"She is very young certainly, but that is a fault that will mend +itself."</p> + +<p>She would not discuss Mrs. Peel further with Mrs. Shiplake.</p> + +<p>That good woman retired discomfited, but relieved her feelings by +taking Lacy into her confidence. And when that worthy heard a list of +young Mrs. Peel's indiscretions, she quietly said—</p> + +<p>"Then the more she comes here the better, for Miss Darlington will do +her good."</p> + +<p>And Mrs. Shiplake had not a word to say.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_3">CHAPTER III</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>MAKING FRIENDS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>SARA was not left without visitors. Besides Mrs. Peel, Admiral Burke +and his wife came over in an old-fashioned pony-chaise to call upon +her, followed by Miss Agnew from the Hall. Sara was delighted to see +the old people. They were an ideal couple, as devoted now to each +other as they had been when lovers, and were determined to show her +hospitality.</p> + +<p>"You must come and spend a long day with us, my dear," said the old +lady; "we have pretty gardens, and I should like to show you an oil +painting presented to us on our marriage by your father. He painted +it himself. We have also a photograph of you and your brother as tiny +children."</p> + +<p>Sara promised she would come, and they had hardly taken their departure +before Miss Agnew was announced.</p> + +<p>Sara looked at the tall slim handsome girl with much interest. She +was dressed in a plain brown holland coat and skirt, and coarse straw +hat. Her face was alive with interest and expectation. She was not so +impulsive, or so confidential as Mrs. Peel had been, and Sara saw at +once that she was of a more thoughtful nature. She told Sara a great +deal about the village and places of local interest, and spoke as if +she loved it all.</p> + +<p>"I have grown up here and never want to leave it. My father and I go to +town once every year, so as to widen our outlook and prevent us from +running in a groove, but I am always glad to get back here again. Don't +you think it is a lovely bit of country?"</p> + +<p>"Indeed I do. It strikes me as such luxuriant rich pasture land! +Everything looks so flourishing and prosperous."</p> + +<p>"Oh, we have our bad times, I assure you, but father farms most of his +land himself. He puts a lot of money into it, and I think he gets its +worth. I'm so glad you appreciate our part. Have you met Nellie Peel? +She's enough to turn a pail of milk sour sometimes."</p> + +<p>"Aren't you two great friends?"</p> + +<p>The girl laughed.</p> + +<p>"In a way I suppose we are. But I hate her grumbling. Why on earth did +she marry a parson if she didn't like his life? She's always trying to +get out of her sphere into another. She's a parson's daughter, so she +ought to be content to be a parson's wife. She's always trying to run +down her own sort. She has a very good time, I consider. Her husband is +a saint; she has no children, nothing to tie her to the house. And our +village is a very pleasant one, and the people happy and well-to-do. +She ought to like visiting them and having meetings and clubs and that +sort of thing. As it is, I take the clothing and coal club off her +shoulders. Nellie is always trying to occupy herself with things that +have nothing to do with the parish."</p> + +<p>"I think you are hard upon her," said Sara, pleasantly. "Young people +are very intolerant sometimes of others' likes and dislikes. She is of +no different flesh and blood to yourself—"</p> + +<p>May Agnew drew her head up proudly at this and Sara saw she did not +like it, but she went on firmly—</p> + +<p>"Parochial work does not come easily to every one. She tells me she +paints. An artistic nature must find its vent in some way. She may not +have been born with that gift of sympathy and interest in her fellow +creatures which you perhaps possess, and what comes easy to you as the +Squire's daughter and, may I say, as Lady Bountiful of the parish, +comes hardly with her. I am a newcomer, and I don't know either of you +yet, but my first impressions are pleasant of you both. I feel sorry +for Mrs. Peel, she is so young, with such great expectations from life; +and those who expect much meet with many disappointments."</p> + +<p>"You think she is a square peg in a round hole? By her own showing +she is. When first she came here, I felt sorry for her, and had her +continually up at the Hall. She comes now, and whenever we have +company, I send for her. But she expects to spend her whole time with +us. And then when I happen not to ask her if anything is going on, she +gets huffy and sulky. Oh, what am I saying? You have bewitched me! What +must you think of me! Sitting up and slanging our Rector's wife in this +fashion!"</p> + +<p>"I will never abuse your confidence," said Sara, quietly. "It is good +of you to have talked so openly with me. Don't be too impatient; life +slowly impresses its lessons on each one. And Mrs. Peel will learn her +lessons like the rest of us."</p> + +<p>May Agnew smiled.</p> + +<p>"You think me a prig, I expect. It is so easy to see the motes in our +neighbours' eyes, is it not? Are you fond of reading? Father has rather +a good library, and he would be flattered if you came up and made use +of it!"</p> + +<p>"How very kind of you! I shall be delighted. A library is always so +attractive! I have so much idle time on my hands now, that reading will +be possible to me, and I do love it."</p> + +<p>When she had gone, Sara mused upon these two girls' lives, running side +by side, and yet with such different outlooks. And though in her heart +she knew that May Agnew was more high-principled and right-minded than +Nellie Peel, her sympathies were most with the latter.</p> + +<p>Nellie came to make the promised sketch. And they had an interesting +talk about art and its different schools and fashions. Sara went to +the Rectory to tea and found Mr. Peel a charming man to talk to. He +was very devoted to his young wife, but the latter chose to be in one +of her flippant moods that day; and more than once Sara saw the Rector +wince at things she said.</p> + +<p>She came away rather sad at heart. The home was picturesque in its +setting, there was no lack of comfort in it, yet the atmosphere seemed +charged with friction.</p> + +<p>The contrast when she went to lunch with Admiral and Mrs. Burke was +very marked. The old couple were delighted to see her, they talked of +the past with many fragrant memories. And Sara told them when she came +away that she had never spent such a happy day anywhere for years, as +she had now with them.</p> + +<p>"My dear," said Mrs. Burke, kissing her, "it is good of a young thing +like you to be interested in the old."</p> + +<p>"I don't feel at all young," said Sara. "I always feel I have much more +in common with those who are getting through their journey than with +those who have just begun it."</p> + +<p>"There are two young people close to you who will be glad of your +advice and help," said Mrs. Burke, gently. "We know them both; and +wonder often how things will go with them. May is a dear girl. She is +her father's right hand—such a useful life she leads—but it makes her a +little hard on the less energetic ones. And she can never forget that +she is the Squire's daughter. I think I may tell you in confidence +that she was engaged to a nephew of ours for six months. He is in the +Horse Artillery, and always spent his leave with us. It was broken off +because she wanted to manage him, and he would not have it. She has +managed everybody since she was twelve years old, when her mother died. +She insisted then, though she had a governess, upon dining with her +father every night; and she would take her seat at the foot of the long +dining-room table opposite him like any old woman."</p> + +<p>"Both Mrs. Peel and Miss Agnew are inclined to be very friendly," said +Sara. "I don't think there is any danger of my feeling dull."</p> + +<p>And there was not. Time slipped rapidly by, the baby Oliver growing +bigger and bonnier every day, and Sara, with her usual aptitude for +making friends and winning confidences, was continually in request by +either the Squire's daughter or the Rector's wife.</p> + +<p>Nellie Peel made a water-colour sketch of her. It was cleverly done, +and she caught the sunshine in Sara's face and eyes, as she sat against +a background of apple-trees, with her small nephew in her arms.</p> + +<p>It was a bright and vivid portrait.</p> + +<p>"The only pity," said Nellie, "is that you aren't the baby's mother. +For nobody would believe that you were not. You have such a motherly +face! I shall call this sketch, 'Sunshine.' Now, would you like to have +it? I should love to give it to you."</p> + +<p>"My dear, I could not take it."</p> + +<p>"Why not? I love painting for painting's sake."</p> + +<p>"If you are really going to make me a present of it, I should like to +send it to an old lady, a very great friend of mine. But I hope I am +not taking advantage of your generosity."</p> + +<p>"I never give away anything unless I want to," said Nellie, carelessly. +Then she looked down upon the sketch on her knee.</p> + +<p>"You're a very happy person, aren't you? I wish I could feel as happy +as you do, but I suppose you have always had your own way, and have +done what you liked."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Nellie dear, that doesn't make a person happy."</p> + +<p>"Yes, it does. It makes me happy, but something or somebody is always +crossing my will, and then I'm angry."</p> + +<p>"I don't think any of us can sail through life without any buffetings +or storms," said Sara.</p> + +<p>For a moment a shadow dimmed her eyes. There was not a day or an +hour that Graham Laird did not figure in her thoughts. She knew he +belonged to another woman now. She tried to think of him in a detached +impersonal way, but she had an intense longing to know if he was happy, +and this longing brought an ache into her heart which stayed there.</p> + +<p>"People say we can't cultivate happiness," Sara went on thoughtfully; +"for the more we think about it, the less we feel it. Happiness is a +very elusive thing, isn't it? But certain habits bring it to us."</p> + +<p>"What habits? I like to hear you talk. Go on. I am just putting the +finishing touches to my sketch."</p> + +<p>"I think the habit of recognizing the good things which we possess is +one. If we take an inventory of our possessions sometimes, we shall +find it is a pretty long one. And the habit of taking an interest +in other people and things outside ourselves is a great help. I was +feeling rather sad the other morning before I came down to breakfast. +But I had two distinct bits of cheer, and thinking of them warmed my +heart up."</p> + +<p>"Do tell me what they are."</p> + +<p>"Don't laugh at my first bit of cheer. It was a mother thrush out +of my window. She was taking a walk with three of her young ones. +Our tabby cat saw her, and came stalking through the long grass. The +mother saw the creature and gave her cry of alarm, and two of her +nestlings fluttered up to the high laurel bush where their nest had +been. The third little bird was either weak on his legs or else he had +entangled himself in the grass. He fluttered his wings but could not +rise. Then the mother flew over the tabby's head and tried to distract +her attention, and after several struggles the little thrush rose +successfully, and joined the others in their refuge. The mother flew +after him, Tabby crept away disappointed, and the little family of +thrushes rejoiced in their safety; I couldn't help rejoicing too."</p> + +<p>"How ridiculous you are! What was the other event?"</p> + +<p>"I knew you would laugh at me! I came down to breakfast, and Mrs. +Shiplake came in with a beaming face—</p> + +<p>"'Oh, ma'am, I've had a piece of luck this morning. I were worritin' +over a new gown for the Flower Show up tu the Hall. I'm that shabby, +I felt like staying at home, an' if I haven't heard from my sister +what married last spring, and she sends me one poun' forward for eggs +an' cream an' chicken she have ordered for a gran' entertainment tu +her part. Her husband be land steward to Sir Philip Baker! An' las' +market-day I saw a nice grey skirt and coat marked up at Taylor's for +nineteen shillings and elevenpence. An' it were my fit jus' as if it +were made for me, but times have been bad, and I didn't have the money. +Now 'tis ready and I'll go straight off to Taylor's this very afternoon +and send off some chickens and eggs at the same time!'</p> + +<p>"You should have seen her face. It was like a round shining sun! I +began my breakfast in quite good spirits."</p> + +<p>"You are an extraordinary person!"</p> + +<p>Nellie had laid her sketch down, and was regarding Sara with puzzled +eyes.</p> + +<p>"Those kind of things would never touch me at all. Do you remember +saying to me the first day I called upon you that I ought to find the +one thing that would make my life a joy instead of a burden? I have +often thought of it since. What did you mean?"</p> + +<p>"Something very real, and deep and lasting," said Sara, quietly.</p> + +<p>"You don't mean anything religious, do you? That sounds like it."</p> + +<p>"Do you dislike everything connected with religion?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I don't want it in my life. I want to enjoy myself."</p> + +<p>Then Sara said very softly—</p> + +<p>"'Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their +corn and wine increased.'"</p> + +<p>"I never thought you would preach me a sermon!"</p> + +<p>Nellie got up quickly. She put her sketch into Sara's hands.</p> + +<p>"Don't thank me any more. If you're a good person, you're rather a nice +sort, but I don't want any goody talk. I get plenty of that from my +husband."</p> + +<p>She was off and away before Sara could say another word.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>A few days afterwards, Sara heard from Mrs. Laird, in acknowledgment of +the sketch which she had sent.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAR, DEAR SARA,<br> +<br> + "I cried when I opened the parcel. It is you to the life! Just the +light in your eyes that I always loved to watch. And what a dainty, +delicate bit of work it is! The colouring is so sweet. Your soft blue +dress which matches the sky in the background, and the golden-haired, +happy child. Oh, Sara, Sara, why didn't you marry my son? Excuse my +outburst. But you are wasted where you are. Well, your portrait will +bring sunshine into my room. I shall place it where I can always see it.<br> +<br> + "Graham came in for a moment to-day. He quite started when he saw it. +I put it on the mantelpiece for the time being. He is worn and weary. +This colliery is giving him a great deal of anxiety and trouble, and +Eva is, as I thought, no help to him. She has developed great delicacy +since their marriage, is quite the nervous invalid. She told Ina that +she had a weak heart, but I think it must be fancy. She has never +looked strong, but she has always rushed about from place to place, and +has had far more energy and strength than most. They have settled into +their new house.<br> +<br> + "Eva has insisted upon having a motor, and is very luxurious. I have +been to see her once or twice. She never comes here. Her little girl +has gone to stay with a little schoolfellow for the summer holidays. +Graham says that Eva does not feel strong enough to have her at home.<br> +<br> + "I am looking forward to seeing you in September. You will not +disappoint us, will you? I don't think I must pay you a visit this +summer. When Ina goes, I shall have one or two of her classes to look +after, and I do not give up this house till Christmas. I am happy +when I am busy, so I keep myself always occupied; but my thoughts are +perpetually with you, and with my poor boy. Why did he marry her? I +keep asking myself. For, Sara, he does not love her, he is sorry for +her with his usual wonderful compassion for everybody who is weak and +helpless. And she apparently, even at this early stage of their wedded +life, has lost her love for him. She is entirely self-centred, and +thinks that by day and night he ought to be her willing devoted slave. +She looks ill, but will not speak of her health to me. She has become a +peevish discontented woman. I will not write about her any more. And I +am ready to go to her at any time, should she want me.<br> +<br> + "As I look at your happy smiling face, I feel a warmth in my heart. +We have much in common to make us happy, Sara. I hope this is not a +wail, for I am happy—happier than I have ever been for years. And heart +happiness gets deeper than mere surface enjoyment. Good-bye. May God +bless you!<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 11.5em;">"Your loving old friend,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 17.5em;">"RACHAEL LAIRD."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara read this letter over and over again. She hungered for news of her +friends, and longed to know every detail of their daily life.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>As September drew near, she wondered if it would be wise to go up there +amongst them all again. And then the matter was taken out of her hands. +Little Oliver was taken ill. It was not very serious, but enough to +make and keep her anxious. It began with an internal chill, and then +fever. He soon pulled round, but had lost weight, and was a shadow of +his former self.</p> + +<p>When the time for the wedding drew near, he still wanted the greatest +care and attention, and Sara felt that she could not leave him. She +wrote very regretfully, for she knew that both Mrs. Laird and Ina would +be disappointed, and she herself, now that she was prevented from +going, began to think of all that she would miss.</p> + +<p>But the baby occupied all her time, for which she was thankful. She +heard all about the wedding from Mrs. Laird. Eva was not well enough +to be present, but Graham gave away the bride. And Colonel Fleming was +like a boy in his excitement and delight.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Ina wrote to her during her honeymoon.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "I can hardly believe that I am on earth at all," she finished up with; +"Jack spoils me utterly and entirely. Mrs. Laird used to say I was much +older than he in my talk and behaviour: I feel like a child again now. +He is so gay and cheerful and so full of fun, and then suddenly he gets +quite grave and opens a sacred corner of his heart to me, and I know +then what a really good husband I have got. I have made a resolve that +I will always be his comfort and help, for he never thinks of himself +at all, only of doing good and helping others."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara smiled and sighed.</p> + +<p>"An ideal couple," she murmured, "but then they revolve round the same +Centre. There is no gulf between their respective goals."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_4">CHAPTER IV</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>GRAHAM AND HIS WIFE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>IT was a wet wild night the beginning of October.</p> + +<p>Graham, hurrying along the pavements of the town, began to look forward +to the firelight and warmth and comfort of his home. He came to it +at last, a handsome stone house in a quiet street, a small drive and +shrubbery stood between it and the passers-by. He mounted the broad +stone steps with some weariness. Mentally and physically he was tired.</p> + +<p>There was a threatened strike at the colliery; all day he had been +interviewing people. First the masters of several collieries round, +then the miners' representatives, then his agent with several others. +It had been an exhausting day: Graham would never let himself or any +one else rest till he had mastered every technicality, every point of +law connected with the dispute, and he now had it at his finger ends.</p> + +<p>But it had not been a cheering process, and the future loomed black +and frowning before him. He knew himself to be inexperienced; he felt +in honour bound to stand by and with those in the same position as +himself. And yet his keen sense of justice more than once made him put +his finger on a weak spot in some of the masters' arguments. He felt +fettered and bound in the course that was laid down for him to take. He +longed to break with them all, and act on his own responsibility, and +yet he knew at the present juncture of affairs, he dared not do it.</p> + +<p>He let himself into his house with his latchkey. A maid came forward to +meet him in the hall.</p> + +<p>"If you please, sir, the mistress would like to see you at once."</p> + +<p>"Is anything the matter?" he asked quickly, slipping out of his +overcoat as he spoke.</p> + +<p>"The mistress has fainted, sir; she's had two faints, but she is better +now."</p> + +<p>Graham caught his breath, then ran lightly up the stairs, and entered +his wife's room. He did not find her in bed, she was sitting up in a +cushioned chair by the fire. Her fair hair was hanging in two plaits +below her waist. She looked very small, very young as she sat there +gazing into the fire, but upon his approach, she turned her face +towards him, and it was wan and pinched and grey.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Graham, I thought you would never come! You are hours late! I've +had another of my attacks, and I was all alone! You might think of me a +little more! I believe you forget all about me when you go off to that +horrid office every day."</p> + +<p>"My dear, I am sorry, but I could not help myself. I have been delayed. +I suppose you have dined. It is close on nine o'clock."</p> + +<p>"I have been ill, I tell you; don't you care at all?"</p> + +<p>Eva's tone was more than petulant, it was really angry.</p> + +<p>"Indeed, I do care very much. Do you feel better now?"</p> + +<p>His tone was gentleness itself.</p> + +<p>She turned her face away from him, sullenly.</p> + +<p>"I didn't marry you to be left alone in this house day after day with +only servants to speak to."</p> + +<p>He did not answer. Then he said—</p> + +<p>"Was the pain very bad, dear? Don't you think you would be better in +bed?"</p> + +<p>"I don't mean to go to bed. I hate it. I know I shall die in it one +night. And you won't care. You'll be thankful to get rid of me."</p> + +<p>Tears crowded into her eyes, she began to sob hysterically.</p> + +<p>Graham went to a small table near, and poured out a dose from a +medicine bottle.</p> + +<p>"You haven't taken this, I see. Why did you not?"</p> + +<p>"Because you always give it to me after dinner, and you weren't here," +she snapped.</p> + +<p>She took it from him and drank it, then leant her head back amongst her +cushions, and looked up at her husband with frightened despairing eyes. +He stood leaning against the mantelpiece and regarding her with a good +deal of tenderness and pity.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Graham, I'm afraid of going to sleep! Have pity on me! Be kind to +me! I'm afraid of my own thoughts. Come close to me and hold my hands. +I feel safe with you. What shall I do? Every day that passes brings it +nearer. Comfort me! Is there no comfort for me? How can I go through +it?"</p> + +<p>He knelt down by her side, and drew her head to rest against his +shoulder.</p> + +<p>"My dear child, don't be frightened. You have been accustomed to these +faints. You are not worse to-day than you have been, and to-morrow you +will be quite yourself again. You have been alone, and so you've got +down in the dumps."</p> + +<p>"But I oughtn't to be alone!" Eva roused herself and pushed him away. +"It is cruel of you to leave me so! You promised me you would be with +me always, and help me to bear the pain!"</p> + +<p>"You are tired to-night," he said patiently; "and I own I am very +late in coming home, but I could not help it. There is trouble at the +colliery."</p> + +<p>"I hate the colliery and everything belonging to it. It takes up your +time more and more. I might as well have never married you—"</p> + +<p>Graham was silent for a few minutes. He was becoming accustomed to +his wife's continual reproaches, but he never lost his patience. Long +experience with his invalid mother had taught him self-control. His +heart ached for his wife. He knew he could do so little to relieve her +fears and sufferings.</p> + +<p>"I wish you would let my mother come and see you, or Ina. Ina would be +so pleased to know you, and be your friend if you would let her."</p> + +<p>"She is young," said Eva, peevishly; "and we don't care for each other. +Why should we pretend that we do? And you know your mother dislikes me. +She always has, and always will. The doctor said I ought to get out as +much as possible, but you have never time to take me: our motor lies +idle, we hardly ever use it."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Graham, cheerfully, "we will go out to-morrow afternoon. I +will come home to luncheon if it is fine. We will have a spin together, +before it gets dark."</p> + +<p>At this moment, the parlourmaid knocked at the door, and wanted to know +if Graham had dined.</p> + +<p>"No, indeed I have not," he said; "and I had no time for lunch, so I am +pretty hungry."</p> + +<p>He went off to his dressing-room, and soon returned to his wife.</p> + +<p>"Now I'm going downstairs for a short time. Won't you go to bed? I'll +send your maid to you. What is her name? I never can remember. Halkin, +is it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. Please don't be long. I feel so nervous to-night. And I hardly +touched my dinner."</p> + +<p>"Then you must have a snack of something now. I will send you up +something, and you must promise me to eat it."</p> + +<p>He went downstairs to the empty dining-room and consumed his dinner in +haste. Then he went into his study. His blazing fire and easy-chair +looked inviting. He longed to sit down and smoke a pipe and have a +quiet time to think out various problems that were simmering in his +brain, but he resolutely turned away from the fire. He took up the +evening newspaper and went upstairs to spend the rest of the evening +with his wife.</p> + +<p>This was a sample of many evenings in Graham's life. As he looked back +upon his hasty engagement, and marriage, he wondered now if he had done +well for Eva. She had been in delicate health for some time, and then +some friend in town persuaded her to go to a heart specialist. This was +a man who believed in telling his patients the truth about themselves, +and he told Eva that her heart was diseased, and that he feared she had +not two years of life left to her. It was a tremendous shock. She sent +for Graham, and then in her extremity she poured out her soul before +him, telling him that she had loved him for years, and imploring him to +help and comfort her.</p> + +<p>"I am absolutely alone," she said. "I have two years of suffering in +front of me, and then death. Nobody wants me. Nobody cares for me. I +shall get some chloroform and end my life now! How can I live on day +after day, dragging myself nearer and nearer the grave, without a soul +to speak to? Oh, Graham, pity me! What can I do?"</p> + +<p>And then, tortured by her deep distress, and by her avowal of love for +him, he felt that he could offer her a home with him, for those two +short years. His heart had always been open to women in their need and +weakness, and he knew that he could in a measure soften the dark days +coming upon her. But Eva bound him to secrecy about the state of her +health, not even his mother was to be told. He had faithfully kept the +promise he made to her.</p> + +<p>As it often happens, when Eva had got the desire of her heart, it +seemed to turn to ashes. Graham was of too quiet and grave a nature to +cheer her in her times of depression. He was attention itself, but his +attentions were given with great gravity. He showed her sympathy, and +tenderness, and patience, every day of her life. But Eva longed to be +cheered by a gay laugh and a bright word; and this she felt she would +never get from Graham. She did not realize the strain of his business +life, and the ceaseless thought and toil it gave him.</p> + +<p>And Graham's heart had received a blow from which it could not recover. +He, like Eva, was tempted to ask himself sometimes what incentive he +had to live. It was a blank grey world to him without Sara. He had +had so little sunshine in his life that her presence in the house had +been an ideal experience for him. Now she was gone; and he had no hope +of ever seeing or speaking to her again. It was no wonder he found it +difficult to be cheerful.</p> + +<p>Eva herself had altered greatly. Her sweet pensive smiles and little +graceful speeches were things of the past. She was up against a black +horror which never left her night or day, and she rebelled frantically +against her fate. Now she felt that marriage had not brought her the +ease and comfort she expected; she had really thought that Graham would +act exactly as a trained nurse would, and she resented everything that +took him away from her.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>They went for a motor ride the next afternoon. Eva was soothed and +refreshed by it at first, but upon their return, they encountered +a crowd of colliers who had just come up from the pits, and were +congregated around one man who was addressing them in fiery language. +The motor had to slow down, for there was hardly room to pass, and +Graham was instantly recognized.</p> + +<p>Some lads began to hoot and hiss. And one hot-tempered little man +sprang to the side of the car and shook his first in Eva's face, +shouting—</p> + +<p>"Ye willna ride us doon, you pampered lass of his'n. A fine lot he +cares for them which work to stow money into his pocket. He'd better'n +be in the office preparin' for the day when the pits shut down. They're +surely comin'!"</p> + +<p>The chauffeur quietly glided through the crowd, and Graham said +nothing, though silence was much against the grain. He knew that +agitation might be fatal to his wife, and, as it was, she was in a +panic of fright.</p> + +<p>"They're savages!" she panted, when they had passed. "Graham, why do +you put up with such insolence? I shall never dare to come out again. +Oh, do take me abroad! Leave this filthy, smoky town, and let us go to +the Riviera before the winter sets in. I feel I should have a fresh +lease of life there."</p> + +<p>This idea seized hold of her; she never gave him any peace day or +night till he had half promised to take her. And then before their +arrangements could be completed, she had another very bad heart attack, +and her doctor refused to let her move.</p> + +<p>"She would never get there alive," he said. "She is wearing herself out +by her fright and agitation about herself. It is a pity she has not a +more placid disposition; she would give herself a better chance then."</p> + +<p>But this nobody could give the sick woman; and Graham looking ahead +could see no ray of light on the path she would have to travel.</p> + +<p>One evening, after a specially trying day, when she had at last gone to +bed, and sunk into an exhausted sleep, Colonel Fleming came to see his +friend. Graham saw him in the smoking-room, and gripped his hand with +real pleasure.</p> + +<p>"We are becoming strangers!" Graham said. "I haven't set eyes on you +for ages. It's being married men, I suppose."</p> + +<p>"So it is! But you're much more married than I am. Ina, bless her +little soul! is as happy as a sandboy alone. She's sent me to look you +up to-night. I've been down town. It's my club night, you know. Lucky +thing your strike didn't come off. But it was touch and go, wasn't it? +I heard that it was you who saved the situation. You got the masters to +give way a bit, didn't you? Well, how's your wife? She's in a poor way, +I hear. I met your doctor just now. He was seeing a chap who got hurt +in the pits, and I was there inquiring for him. We walked a bit of the +way here together. He told me it was serious, and that she couldn't go +abroad. I was glad to hear it. Sick people are best at home, don't you +think so?"</p> + +<p>Graham did not answer. He pulled aside the window curtain and looked +out. Then he turned and faced his friend.</p> + +<p>"Jack, I feel I must have a whiff of pure wholesome air. Will you let +me walk home with you? I must have a turn on the moor. Will you take +anything first?"</p> + +<p>"Not a sip. Come on, we'll start at once. Ripping it will be. The stars +are out, and there's a touch of frost in the air, but there's no wind. +A pity you don't live up our way!"</p> + +<p>They went out of the house together, and talked on various subjects +till they reached the open moor. Graham drew in a breath of the keen +pungent air with relief and pleasure.</p> + +<p>"I never shall get accustomed to this town life. I have a hankering for +our hills at Felstone Corner."</p> + +<p>Then he said abruptly—</p> + +<p>"Look here, Jack, I know at bottom you're a religious chap. What can +be said to smooth my poor wife's path in front of her? Her days are +numbered and she knows it. And she's fighting with her fate, and is +terrified at the prospect of death. She won't see the vicar; she has an +idea it is only dying people who send for parsons, and she won't allow +to herself that she's anything like bad enough for a pastoral visit +just at present. What can you tell her?"</p> + +<p>The Colonel stopped short in growing excitement—</p> + +<p>"Why, man alive, the best of all news—that death is only a dark door +into light! One step will take her through. I should like to have a +talk with her. You must know that our Lord died to take away the sting +of death! Does she read her Bible?"</p> + +<p>"No. I don't think so. But I was thinking of reading to her a verse +or two in the evenings. Women always get comfort from it, don't they? +Honestly I don't know what part to read to her."</p> + +<p>"Read the Gospel of St. John," said Colonel Fleming, quickly. "That +will give you and your wife all you want."</p> + +<p>They walked on in silence. Then Colonel Fleming took Graham's arm.</p> + +<p>"I say, old fellow, you've a rare chance of helping a soul through the +valley. What do you—what don't you believe?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't know." Graham's tone was weary. "I have never formulated +my belief in my own mind. The shadow of death in our home makes things +different. I believe in God. I went to church last Sunday, and I tested +myself with the Creed. I think I do believe all the statements in it."</p> + +<p>"Capital! I always knew you were sounder than you made out! The +forgiveness of sins brings us to the resurrection of the body and the +life everlasting, doesn't it?"</p> + +<p>"That's how it winds up."</p> + +<p>"Well, get your wife to pray. A few words will be enough. Our Master is +quick to hear and quick to save. He'll blot out her sins, and take her +hand through the River if she asks Him. Nothing could be easier. Don't +trouble her head with doctrines. Get her to speak to the One Who can +help her. He's the only One Who can."</p> + +<p>"It sounds simple. I'll have a try. I should like her to get some +comfort and peace of mind. She won't see my mother."</p> + +<p>They were silent again. Presently Colonel Fleming stopped and said—</p> + +<p>"Look up, old chap! Did you ever see such magnificent heavens stretched +out before us? Doesn't it give you an idea of infinity and glory and +power?"</p> + +<p>Graham looked up and heaved a sigh.</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes," he said. "It's bringing conviction to me that all things +are easy to our Creator. But I'm—I'm a poor hand with women, Jack, and +that's a fact!"</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It was an hour later that he returned home, but hope and fresh courage +were with him. And before he went to bed that night, he took hold of a +Bible and read the whole of the Gospel of St. John through to himself.</p> + +<p>He shut up the Book with a lightened heart.</p> + +<p>"I believe I have got hold of the cure," he said to himself.</p> + +<p>And he went to sleep for the first time since his marriage with peace +and hope creeping into his heart.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next evening, he suggested reading to his wife, and she, after a +little hesitation, consented to listen. Every night after that, he read +about fifteen to twenty verses of the Gospel of St. John.</p> + +<p>Eva never made any remarks. But once she looked at her husband +curiously.</p> + +<p>"You read it as if your life depended on it," she said, with a little +funny laugh.</p> + +<p>He looked up at her with earnest eyes. "Your life does depend upon it," +he said. "I mean the life that matters, the life of your soul."</p> + +<p>She was dumb; the arrow had sped home and pierced the crust of selfish +indifference and distaste to unseen things.</p> + +<p>She said nothing, but he felt she listened in a different spirit +afterwards.</p> + +<p>And then one night she woke him up with a frightened cry—</p> + +<p>"Oh, Graham, I want to get right with God. But I've never properly +served Him. What can I do? I can't sleep. Do comfort me."</p> + +<p>He was ready for her need—and repeated word for word what Colonel +Fleming had said to him.</p> + +<p>"You've only to ask to have your sins forgiven, Eva. Christ died to +do it, we've read about it. He'll come and take your soul into His +keeping. Ask Him now."</p> + +<p>"Oh, let us ask Him together. I've been a worldly, wicked woman, and I +have never thought of these things before."</p> + +<p>So in the dead of night, whilst all the rest of the house lay sleeping, +husband and wife haltingly prayed their way into the Kingdom.</p> + +<p>Graham had been learning slowly from the Master Himself. And when the +dawn broke, it found them both with the peace that no man can give, in +their hearts and souls, the peace that passes understanding.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_5">CHAPTER V</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>TROUBLE AT THE HALL</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>MAY AGNEW stood in the farmhouse porch listening. It was a rainy day, +but equipped in her macintosh coat and hat, she defied the elements. +She had come over to see Sara, and was spellbound by hearing her sing.</p> + +<p>A simple little song, but accompanied by the guitar, the haunting +melody of it surprised and delighted May. She waited till it ended, +then she stepped inside.</p> + +<p>And a minute later, Sara was greeting her warmly.</p> + +<p>"You never told me you sang, nor that you had a guitar."</p> + +<p>"I am not always in a singing mood," said Sara. "I forgot all about my +guitar till the rain and winds of these last few days drove me indoors, +and baby likes music, so now I play and sing to him."</p> + +<p>"It is impertinence to pronounce an opinion upon your voice, but it is +one of the most delicious that I have ever heard."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Sara, laughing, "but I am no musician. I only sing to +amuse myself and others. How are you? I have not seen you lately."</p> + +<p>"I have been busy, and now father is beginning his shoots, they keep me +occupied. I've come over to ask you up to dinner to-morrow night. Will +you excuse a short invitation? And will you be an angel and bring up +your guitar and sing to us? Father is so fond of music."</p> + +<p>"Thank you for asking me. Yes, I will certainly sing to you if you +would like me to do so. Is it a big party?"</p> + +<p>"No, only the men in the house, and one of my aunts is staying with us. +I shall ask Nellie and the Rector up. Then we shall be four ladies to +six men, but I can't help that."</p> + +<p>Baby Oliver, who had been sitting on the floor listening to the music, +now demanded attention. Sara rang the bell and gave him to his nurse.</p> + +<p>"I know you like children," she said, "but I don't want him to bore my +visitors when they come."</p> + +<p>"You don't let him do that as a rule. I love him. I'm so glad you're +staying on here. You won't be going back to town just yet?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, clasping her hands tightly round her knees and gazing +dreamily into the fire. "I have been thinking over it, but the fogs are +very bad there, they say, and nurse seems to have settled down here. +I'm inclined to stay on. You say it is never very cold here."</p> + +<p>"Splendid! It's never cold in our village; we're sheltered from the +north-east winds. You look so cosy here that I should love to stay and +have a good talk, but I'm busy and I must move on. I shall look forward +to seeing you to-morrow."</p> + +<p>She was gone as quickly as she had come, but Sara did not stir from her +seat. Her guitar and the little songs she had been singing had taken +her thoughts back to Felstone Corner where she had sung so often to +Mrs. Laird. She had not heard from her friend lately; and in her quiet +life at the farm, she learnt to look for letters as a real treat.</p> + +<p>She had settled down very comfortably in this small Devonshire village. +She knew most of the villagers by this time. And though May had been +quite right in saying there was no want or poverty amongst her father's +tenants, yet Sara had found a good many sad hearts amongst them. If it +was a model village, the inmates of the pretty cottages were much the +same as other country people. They had their quarrels, their family +troubles, their share of sickness.</p> + +<p>Sara found an old blind man who loved to be read aloud to, and an old +bedridden woman who welcomed every visitor with keen delight. These she +visited regularly every week. The Rector had asked her to do so. She +never found time heavy on her hands, and she was happy, in spite of the +heartache of Graham's marriage, and all that she felt it entailed.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next evening she went up to the Hall. It was not the first time +that she had dined there, and she and the Squire were very good +friends. Sometimes he would come to the farm to have a chat with her, +and to bring her one of his favourite books. For though a farmer and a +sportsman, Mr. Agnew was also a lover of books, and he spent an hour +every day in his library amongst them.</p> + +<p>Sara loved to watch May moving about amongst her guests. She was a +perfect hostess, and on this night was in the brightest spirits. Sara +wondered if the presence of a favourite cousin, a handsome young +soldier, was accountable for this. He paid her great attention, but so +did two other men, one a barrister, who to Sara's surprise knew her +brother, and the other a young neighbouring squire. Nellie Peel looked +very pretty in her soft white satin gown. May was in black and gold. A +gold braid was threaded through her dark hair, and a crimson rose at +her breast. Sara herself wore russet-brown velvet. Rare lace was in +neck and sleeves, and a single row of pearls was the only ornament she +wore.</p> + +<p>Miss Agnew, a tall stout woman with plain features, but with a great +deal of presence and personality about her, said to Sara as they +gathered round the drawing-room fire after dinner was over—</p> + +<p>"I never felt so plain in my life. You three young people quite put me +in the shade. My niece has lost her heart to you, Miss Darlington. I +knew you must be something special, for she is very critical as a rule."</p> + +<p>"She has been very kind to me a stranger," said Sara, "and I am very +fond of her."</p> + +<p>"She ought to marry," her aunt continued, "but I don't know what my +brother would do without her. And he is getting old. I see a great +difference in him this time. I haven't been here for a year. I live in +Bath, and am not fond of moving about. He does too much, I tell him; +and his daughter takes after him that way. A pity that little creature +over there doesn't do more in her husband's parish. What a get-up for a +parson's wife! And yet she is so pretty that one can forgive her a lot!"</p> + +<p>When the gentlemen came in, May begged Sara to sing.</p> + +<p>"And sing that sweet little song you were singing to yourself and the +baby the other afternoon in the twilight."</p> + +<p>"It is very simple," said Sara; "all my songs are. They suit the +guitar, which cannot accomplish much."</p> + +<p>She sat where she was, and as she played and sang, she riveted the +attention of all. Her graceful ease, and the happy, shining light in +her big grey eyes, made the Squire turn to his sister—</p> + +<p>"If I were twenty years younger, Maria, I should have lost my heart to +her."</p> + +<p>And Sara sang—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"Oh, how can you sing, and why do you sing,<br> + Little Robin with voice so gay?<br> + The snow and the frost have whitened the ground,<br> + Your food has been taken away!<br> + <br> +"I sing because I am sure of my food,<br> + There is always some one to see<br> + That robins have food when the ground is hard.<br> + I'm certain it's coming to me!<br> + <br> +"Oh, how can you sing, and why do you sing,<br> + Gentle thrush with the speckled throat?<br> + The bushes are bare, and the rain beats down;<br> + You have not a sorrowful note!<br> + <br> +"I sing because of the sweet coming spring,<br> + I heed not this dismal wet day.<br> + It will not last, for the sun will shine forth,<br> + The clouds will be driven away!<br> + <br> +"Oh, how can you sing, and why do you sing,<br> + Fair maid in the gloomy black gown?<br> + Alone in the world in a garret small,<br> + And outside—a dull dreary town!<br> + <br> +"I sing because I have joy in my heart,<br> + And my eyes are so far away,<br> + On the hills of gold where my treasures are,<br> + And where I am going one day!<br> + <br> +"Oh, Robin, and Thrush, and Maiden so fair,<br> + With your joy and your faith so sure,<br> + We'll all learn to sing in the darkest time,<br> + We'll sing, and we'll learn to endure!"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara's voice struck a chord in every heart. The Squire brushed his hand +across his eyes.</p> + +<p>"Those simple songs for me," he said. "Can you give us some more?"</p> + +<p>Sara complied with his wish. It was her voice perhaps more than the +words that always reached the hearts of those who listened. If her song +was gay, her hearers became so; if it was full of pathos, tears rose to +their eyes; if it touched on some of the deep things in life, a sweet +and softened expression came over the faces of her audience.</p> + +<p>That was a very pleasant evening at the Hall; and Sara always looked +back to it afterwards as one of her bright times.</p> + +<p>When she left, the Rector and his wife said they would walk home with +her. They were all accustomed to returning from their parties on foot. +Nellie was longer than Sara in equipping herself for her walk home, and +for a moment Sara stood on the broad stone terrace outside the front +door enjoying the beauty of the night.</p> + +<p>The Squire came up to her there, and startled her by putting his hand +on her shoulder.</p> + +<p>"Thank you, my dear, for the pleasure you have given us to-night. Your +songs have brought back to me many sweet memories. I'm glad to think +you're a friend of my girl's. You'll help her. She's a good girl, but +a wee bit too sure of herself. As we get older, we realize how many +mistakes we have made."</p> + +<p>He gave a little sigh, and Sara hardly knew what to say.</p> + +<p>"I'm very fond of May," she said, "and think myself fortunate in being +made so welcome by all of you."</p> + +<p>And then the Rector came up, and they said good-bye to their host and +came away.</p> + +<p>"I wish I could sing like you," Nellie said, taking her arm +affectionately.</p> + +<p>"I wish I could paint like you," said Sara, laughing. "We must be +content with our own gifts, must we not?"</p> + +<p>"We can all sing in our hearts," said the Rector, and he murmured to +himself. "We'll sing, and we'll learn to endure."</p> + +<p>His wife caught the words.</p> + +<p>"I suppose you have to endure me," she said, half-laughing, half-vexed. +"And I consider I have to endure much more from you than you do from +me. Because I let you go your own way, and never interfere with you, +but you won't let me go mine. Fancy, Miss Darlington, they're making a +new golf course at Manstead, and he doesn't want me to become a member! +Now what possible harm can golf do me?"</p> + +<p>"We won't discuss that subject now," said the Rector, uneasily.</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, quietly; "a third person ought never to be brought +into a discussion between two. It isn't fair, especially if she wants +to remain a friend of those two!"</p> + +<p>Nellie laughed.</p> + +<p>"But you see I want you to take my part. John thinks it right to +deprive me of so many pleasures. I should like to ride out with the +hounds. May has offered to mount me, and I can ride a little, but it is +tabooed. They are going out to-morrow. Would you like to come to the +meet with me? I am going on foot. They meet at Spelding's Cross. It +will be a nice walk—just two miles from here."</p> + +<p>"No, I am afraid I can't go to-morrow," said Sara. "Nurse is having a +day out, so I have the baby."</p> + +<p>"Oh, that blessed baby! Well, I won't say anything against him, for I +know you adore him, and he is a darling. I do allow that."</p> + +<p>Then the Rector began to talk of the Squire's library, and as he and +Sara were both book lovers, they waxed enthusiastic over it, whilst +Nellie laughed at them both.</p> + +<p>As they parted with Sara at the gate, the Rector said—</p> + +<p>"I hope you will bring your guitar over to us one day. I haven't +enjoyed an evening so much as I have to-night for a long while."</p> + +<p>And as they went along the lane, Nellie called out—</p> + +<p>"You were the success of the evening, Miss Darlington. Good night."</p> + +<p>Sara smiled.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" she said to herself. "How little they know what a poor creature I +am at heart! But I will be glad. I have plenty to make me so. Life is +full, and I have found very pleasant friends in this quiet little spot."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next afternoon, she was in her sitting-room trying to soothe her +little nephew who was teething and rather fractious in consequence, +when her door burst open, and Mrs. Shiplake appeared panting with +excitement.</p> + +<p>"Oh, ma'am, what do you think! My Frankie has just run in with the +news. Our poor dear Squire has broken his neck out hunting! It's given +me such a turn, I be tremblin' to where I stand."</p> + +<p>Sara stood up. She could not believe her ears.</p> + +<p>"Not dead!" she cried. "Oh, he can't be dead!"</p> + +<p>"But 'tis Gospel truth, ma'am—he were carried home an hour ago, and two +doctors wired for, and my Frank stayed till he heard the head groom say +'twas all over! What an awful situation for the whole lot of us!"</p> + +<p>Sara felt quite dazed. She recalled the Squire's last words to her on +the previous night. How little she thought that she would never see him +alive again, and then her whole heart went out to May. How would she +bear this awful blow? Had she been with him when the accident occurred, +she wondered. She felt glad that May had her aunt staying with her, but +she knew what a terrible shock it would be to them all.</p> + +<p>Later on she heard further particulars from Frank. It was in taking +a high fence that the Squire's horse came down, and flung his master +against the trunk of a tree. Death was instantaneous, and May riding on +in front was absolutely unconscious of what had occurred. Her cousin +broke the news to her, and every one said her calmness and composure +astonished them all. She walked home by the side of her father's dead +body, and when they arrived at the house issued all necessary orders +with an unfaltering voice.</p> + +<p>Sara knew the reaction would come, but during the next few days, May +was still the ruling spirit in the house.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The Rector came over to Sara with a white shaken face. He had been over +to the Hall to see the last of his old friend, and had found May very +cold and grave, very absorbed in necessary business, and not in any +respect broken down with grief at her loss.</p> + +<p>"I cannot understand her," he said to Sara; "her aunt is absolutely ill +with the shock of it, but May talks as if she is arranging a funeral +for some outside stranger. Has she no feelings, do you think?"</p> + +<p>"I am sure she has," said Sara, earnestly; "she and her father were +devoted to each other. She will feel it more by and by. I expect the +shock has for the time stunned her."</p> + +<p>"I asked her if I could do anything to help her, but she said her +cousin, Captain Talbot, was seeing to everything for her. She seems as +if she wants no sympathy from any one. I was allowed to give her no +comfort."</p> + +<p>"The time for that is not just yet," said Sara, thoughtfully. And she +was right.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It was not till after the funeral had taken place, and after all the +relatives and friends had left the house, that May began to realize her +loss.</p> + +<p>Her aunt remained with her, but even she got upon May's nerves. She +longed to be quite alone, and at last, frankly told her aunt so.</p> + +<p>Miss Agnew was much hurt, but she herself wanted to get home, and was +glad to have the excuse of leaving her niece.</p> + +<p>"I will come down to you later," she said; "for you are too young to be +left long in this big place alone, and it would not be the thing. But +for the present, if you want to nurse your grief in solitude, you can +do it!"</p> + +<p>Sara had written a little note of sympathy to May, and she had a line +acknowledging it. But she did not see her till three weeks after the +funeral, and then May surprised her one day by walking in whilst she +was at tea.</p> + +<p>Sara was shocked to see how white and ill she looked. But she held her +head high, and spoke much as usual.</p> + +<p>"You always look so cosy here! How is the baby? For once I find you +without him!"</p> + +<p>"He is very well, thank you. He is asleep in the nursery now. I am so +glad to see you. I did not come up to you, because I thought you would +not care to see visitors."</p> + +<p>"I don't count you as a visitor. But I have been frightfully busy, and +Mr. Dane, our lawyer, is still in the house. I suppose you know my aunt +has left me?"</p> + +<p>"I heard she had. Are you sorry?"</p> + +<p>May gave a wintry smile.</p> + +<p>"No, I'm glad; she worried me. I have never been accustomed to have +women fussing over me, and I could not appreciate it. She threatens +to come back to me, says it's improper my living alone! Now, isn't +that very Early Victorian? What do you think? Tell me frankly. I am +expecting my brother back in three months' time. His ship is still +at Hong Kong, but till he comes, I shall keep everything going as it +always has been. Why on earth should I require a chaperon?"</p> + +<p>"It isn't necessary," said Sara, slowly, "but I think it would be +pleasanter for you. It would leave you freer to have your friends at +the house."</p> + +<p>"You don't think I am going to entertain at present, do you? Now, look +here. I want to ask you a favour. I've been thinking over things, and +I suppose I had better not run the risk of having Aunt Maria coming +back just yet. Will you come up and stay with me? I'm perfectly certain +we should get on. You would go your way and I should go mine, and you +never worry nor fuss."</p> + +<p>"My dear! I don't think I can. It is not possible. I should not like to +leave my small nephew down here without me."</p> + +<p>"But, of course, you can bring him with you. There are the old +nurseries. We could make him and his nurse quite comfortable. At all +events, you can stay with me till Alan comes back. Do try to do it. I +won't press you for an answer to-day. There's no hurry; think it over."</p> + +<p>Sara looked at May without speaking for a moment, then she said—</p> + +<p>"I'll do it if I can, if it will be any help to you, I'll come. It is +very generous and good of you to take us all in. Could I bring Lacy as +my maid, do you think?"</p> + +<p>"Of course."</p> + +<p>May was drinking a cup of tea. She put it down hastily, and got up to +go.</p> + +<p>"I can't stay. I have business to do with Mr. Dane before dinner. +Thanks awfully. You don't know how I shall like it."</p> + +<p>She shook hands abruptly with Sara, but when she reached the door, she +turned—</p> + +<p>"Do you know what father said to me before we went to bed that last +evening? I suppose you know how struck he was with your singing. He +said of you,—</p> + +<p>"'That's a most charming woman, May. I should like to see more of her. +One feels the better for having her near one. Couldn't we ask her to +stay in the house?'</p> + +<p>"And I said I was afraid you wouldn't leave the baby."</p> + +<p>She broke off, slipped out of the door, and was gone, leaving her +sentence unfinished.</p> + +<p>Sara understood. She knew that the mention of her father, and the +memory of that last evening of his, had proved too much for her +self-control.</p> + +<p>It was the remembrance of the Squire's words to herself that had made +her accept May's invitation so promptly.</p> + +<p>"He would like it, dear old man!" she thought. "He asked me to be her +friend and help her; and God helping me, I will."</p> + +<p>She knew that there would be difficulties in her way, and she found +that it needed a good deal of talk and persuasion to make both nurse +and Lacy willing to accompany her. Mrs. Shiplake was aggrieved too, for +she had quite looked forward to having her as a permanent lodger all +the winter. However, Sara managed to soothe them all, and a week later +she went up to the Hall.</p> + +<p>Nellie Peel was very excited over the news.</p> + +<p>She met Sara out one afternoon, and told her that she had just heard of +the plan from her father who had been up to the Hall.</p> + +<p>"I do think May might be a little more friendly with me. She hasn't +been near us, and we are quite her oldest friends here. She is so +self-important now. One would think that she was squiress. It all +belongs to her brother, and some people say he is engaged to some girl +out abroad. If he leaves the Navy and comes home and marries, May may +find herself without a home. I wonder how she will like that!"</p> + +<p>"She would bear it as other women have before her," said Sara, quietly. +"We will hope, for her sake, that she will not be turned out of her old +home just yet."</p> + +<p>"I don't wonder that she has sent for you," said Nellie, quickly, not +liking the pained look in Sara's eyes. "If I ever get into a hobble +about anything, I should do the same—I wonder how you will like it up +at the Hall? I always love staying there. It is so luxurious!"</p> + +<p>But the luxury and comfort did not appeal to Sara, who had only one +overwhelming longing, and that was to comfort this sorrowful lonely +girl in the hour of her trouble.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_6">CHAPTER VI</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>AN EVENING TALK</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"YOU don't mind sitting up here in the evening, do you?" May asked this +question of Sara after dinner the first evening.</p> + +<p>They were in the library. The Squire's chair was drawn up to the fire +just as when he was there, but Sara noticed that May never sat in it. +In the same way, the chair at the head of the dining-table was always +there, but it was never used. May drew a low chair up to the fire +by Sara's side. It was the first time they had been alone. At May's +suggestion the lamps had not been lighted. Only the wax candles on the +big carved writing-table gave light besides the fire, but the flames +flickered and danced merrily up the wide chimney, and touched with +golden sparkles the books in the bookcases, the pictures on the walls, +and the handsome copper and silver ornaments about the long room.</p> + +<p>"Father and I always sat here after dinner," said May, gently. "And I +like to think that his spirit is here still. You will not laugh at me +if I tell you something. Yesterday, all day long, I was hunting for +an important paper which Mr. Dane wanted. I knew father had had it in +his hand in this room the day before—before his accident. I came up +here, and I searched everywhere for it. I turned out the drawers in the +writing-table, I ransacked the bureau for it, I searched everywhere. +And last night as I was sitting here alone, I felt that father was near +me. I said out loud:</p> + +<p>"'If only you would tell me where you put it!'</p> + +<p>"This morning I came here again and had another hunt, and, do you know, +when I opened his writing-table drawer—there was the paper just doubled +in half on the very top! Now don't you think he came back and put it +there himself?"</p> + +<p>Sara, looking at May's pale earnest face, could not answer her for a +moment, and May, quick to read faces, exclaimed—</p> + +<p>"I see you don't believe it. You will say I hadn't looked properly, +that it was a coincidence. Well, you can think what you like. But I +know, and am perfectly certain, that there was no coincidence about it."</p> + +<p>A little silence fell on them. Then May said, abruptly—</p> + +<p>"Where is he, Miss Darlington? He was taken so suddenly. He was alive +to his finger tips! What an awfully cruel thing death is! How can he +be silent towards me if the best part of him is living still. And what +is he doing? And what is he thinking? Oh, I wish I knew! I don't doubt +where he is! Father was always so very good, though he never talked +much. Do you know, he used to read a chapter out of mother's Bible +every night before he went to sleep? And I shall never forget his +saying to me in this very room the first night after I came home from +school:</p> + +<p>"'My dear, your mother was a good woman, and she isn't here to teach +you. I want you to be like her. Will you always say your prayers and +read your Bible in the quiet of your bedroom every day? I promised your +mother I would do it, and I want you to do it too.'</p> + +<p>"Of course I promised."</p> + +<p>"It is a great comfort to have such memories as that," said Sara with +a little smile. "And I should trust your father to God's own keeping, +dear May. Don't have an anxious or unhappy thought about him. He was +spared a long illness, which is so trying to men."</p> + +<p>"Oh yes," May said listlessly. "I do believe he is all right. It is +not his fate which depresses me, but my own. I have lost everything +with him! He and I enjoyed everything together, now I shall never enjoy +anything without him. I have lost my appetite. Can you understand me? +Nothing interests me now. I try to do everything as I have always +done, and I am struggling to take over a good deal that he did. There +is plenty to keep me occupied, but deep down in my heart is the awful +blank which will never be filled."</p> + +<p>"I think I can understand," said Sara, tenderly. "I have gone through +the same experience myself."</p> + +<p>"Not exactly the same, have you? And I am not brave enough to face my +future. Let me tell you. It is a relief to talk to some one. Shall I +bore you?"</p> + +<p>"My dear child!"</p> + +<p>Sara's little caressing touch on her arm made May exclaim—</p> + +<p>"You're the only person who seems to care a bit about me! I don't +know if you have heard about my brother Alan. He is in the Navy, and +just lately he has become engaged to an old friend of ours, Lilian +Rush. Everything is left to him—house, property, and every penny of +money. I have nothing but three hundred a year left me by my mother. +I suppose father considered that enough, but then he expected that I +shall be dependent on Alan for a home. I know he will retire from his +profession, and settle down here at once. He will marry, of course. I +cannot, and will not, stay here with them, so it means a break-up of +all I value and love. Aren't women at a disadvantage? It seems so cruel +to be turned out of my home and give my place to a stranger, one not of +the same blood, and who can never love the family things as I do? Mr. +Peel talked to me the other day of comfort coming to me. I thought how +little he knew my circumstances to imagine I could 'ever' be comforted."</p> + +<p>She spoke with passion. Clasping her hands round her knees, she looked +into the glowing embers of the fire with gloomy sullen eyes.</p> + +<p>And then Sara spoke.</p> + +<p>"My dear, I don't often talk about myself, but I want you to listen to +me now. I suppose you look upon me as a happy woman?"</p> + +<p>"The personification of happiness!" said May, looking at the sweet +sunny face opposite her. "Everybody says you carry a fund of sunshine +about with you. Though I'm so miserable myself, I felt I couldn't stand +long-faced tearful people about me. That's why I asked you to come to +me. I have been wading through hundreds of letters of consolation, and +there hasn't been one with a spark of brightness in it. Resignation +they all preach, and at present, I am full of resentment."</p> + +<p>"It is some years now since I lost my father," said Sara, slowly and +softly. "Strange to say you and I are much alike in our experience. +I had a country home like you. I hunted with my father, and after my +mother's death did everything with him. Then he died, and not only did +I lose him, but my home went as well. We had to sell the estate, and +my brother and I went to London and had a hard struggle to live whilst +he was an unknown briefless barrister. Then gradually he got on in his +profession, and when I fancied we were settling down to a comfortable +life together, he met a girl whom he liked, and my second home was +broken up. These are just the facts of my life, but I want to tell you +something more.</p> + +<p>"In the early days, when the crash came, and I had to see all our +family belongings sold, when I was leaving my home, and all the people +I cared about, I was like you, rebellious and miserable. I could not, +and would not, see any light for myself anywhere. And then one day, our +Rector preached a sermon. I have never forgotten it.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'The joy of the Lord is, your strength.'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"He told us first of all how joy in the heart carried people on the +crest of the wave in time of storm and stress, how it strengthened and +braced all the weakness in them, how absolutely impossible it was for +them to sink under the biggest trouble that could come to them in this +world if they had joy inside them. He compared it to a life-belt.</p> + +<p>"'Joy won't let you drown,' he said, 'but take care that it is not a +spurious imitation of the genuine article.'</p> + +<p>"And then, having made our mouths water for this wonderful attribute, +he told us how we could get it."</p> + +<p>May looked interested.</p> + +<p>"I never realized you had been through a bad time like mine," she said. +"I suppose you got this joy, and have kept it ever since."</p> + +<p>"You can have it too, dear."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I know! I know! Do you remember your little song? Isn't it an +extraordinary thing you sang that on the eve of our trouble? I remember +father saying he loved it. How did it go? I remember something about a +maid in a black gown who was singing because she had joy in her heart! +But nothing can bring me joy, nothing!"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes, May, you could obtain as I did."</p> + +<p>"How did you get it?"</p> + +<p>"I went down on my knees in church, and again when I got home, and +besought for my poor desolate empty heart to be flooded with the love +and joy that only my Saviour could give me. He came in Himself, and +took possession of me. It's the knowledge of His love that brings the +joy, May. You can bear anything if you lean hard on Him, and realize +that He is with you through it all. If we can't understand the reason +why, He stills our questionings by telling us we shall see the way He +has led us by and by, and acknowledge that it all has worked out for +our good. If you know a person loves you very much, you can't help +trusting him."</p> + +<p>May was silent. She was naturally reserved, and Sara knew that this was +an opportunity that she might not get again. So she went on talking in +her soft happy voice, and at last, her words began to impress May with +an inexplicable conviction of their truth and reality.</p> + +<p>"It may seem a strange thing to be talking about joy to you at this +time," concluded Sara, "but our Lord did it to His disciples in the +darkest hour of their lives, and when His agony was just coming upon +Him. It's one of the Heavenly paradoxes, that when we're full of +trouble, we can be full of joy. And it's such exquisite, unseen joy, +that only we ourselves know about."</p> + +<p>"The knowledge that our Lord was close to me could bring me no joy," +said May, slowly, "for I don't love Him."</p> + +<p>"But He loves you," Sara said quickly; "that's what brings the joy."</p> + +<p>Then they were silent, the firelight flickering upon their faces, upon +May's troubled eyes and hard shut mouth, upon Sara's tender, glowing +gaze.</p> + +<p>When they parted for the night a little latter, May kissed Sara very +warmly.</p> + +<p>"You're a wonderful person!" she said. "As a rule, I hate jaws from +pious people, but with you it seems so simple and natural, a part of +yourself, that nothing jars. You have given me something to think +about. It's rather queer your life altering after hearing that text. +For our Rector quoted it to me when talking about you the other day. He +said he always said to himself when he looked at you, 'The joy of the +Lord is her strength.'"</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Sara with tears in her eyes; "I'm a very poor creature, but +the poorest creatures can be made happy, and can tell others how they +have been made so."</p> + +<p>May said nothing more. She rather avoided another heart-to-heart talk +in the evenings afterwards. And Sara was quite content to leave her +alone. She never forced her views upon any one. And certainly she and +her baby nephew brought brightness into the sad house.</p> + +<p>May would often steal away to the nursery. She was very fond of +children and Baby Oliver was a friendly little soul. He learnt to know +her and look for her, and his chubby arms would be extended at once to +be taken up and amused. They saw very little of outside neighbours.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Nellie came up to the Hall occasionally, but as she told Sara when she +met her out one day, she was not good at talking to people when they +were in trouble.</p> + +<p>"I'm jealous of May. She has taken possession of you altogether. I have +nobody to go off to, and pour out all my woes and troubles to now. And +John and I do get so tired of each other. How long are you going to +stay here? Till Captain Agnew comes home?"</p> + +<p>"I think so," replied Sara.</p> + +<p>And then Nellie had laughed and gone off calling out—</p> + +<p>"It will be my turn then to have you."</p> + +<p>Sara at this time was rather taken up with the news that Mrs. Laird was +giving her in her letters.</p> + +<p>Eva's serious illness was a great surprise to her.</p> + +<p>Then one day the following letter came:—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAREST SARA,<br> +<br> + "You will be surprised and pleased to hear that Eva has of her own +accord sent for me to come and see her. I told you, did I not? that +she is in bed now, and too weak to get up. Graham is wonderful. He is +always with her, when he is not at his office, and I do not expect to +see much of him. I went round to Eva this afternoon. She looks very +ill, and has attacks of pain which are distressing to witness. But she +rallies wonderfully from them. She has altered very much. As I looked +at her, and then at my boy, I could not help noticing that there was a +calm peacefulness and serenity about their faces that used not to be +upon them. I suppose they have learnt to fit into each other's ways, +and to love each other. Graham left us together, and Sara, the last bit +of anger and dislike to Eva left me. When she put her hand into mine +and said, 'I want to be quite sure of your forgiveness, Cousin Rachael. +I've had an unhappy past, but God has forgiven me and given me His +peace, and I'm not afraid to go to Him now.' She told me the end might +come in any one of these heart attacks, and she was longing to go. Then +she added: 'I have selfishly made Graham's life very unhappy this last +year, but I am not sorry he married me, and I do not think he will be, +when he remembers what he has done for me.' All her peevishness and +discontent has gone.<br> +<br> + "I came away from her, feeling that a miracle had been performed, and +then I suddenly thought of myself and of what I was like a couple of +years ago, and I began to see that what changed my outlook, has changed +hers. Graham walked home with me. He was very silent, but very dear. +He told me that Eva's little girl was coming home from school for the +holidays, that her mother wanted to see her. I have never seen the +child, but I remember you spoke of her as a dear little thing. I have +a strong feeling that Eva may not be with us at Christmas. God only +knows. This is a dull stupid letter. I get a great longing for you, +Sara, sometimes. When shall we see each other again?<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">"Much love,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 13.5em;">"Your loving old friend,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 19em;">"RACHAEL LAIRD."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Sara was hardly surprised to hear a fortnight later of Eva's death. +For a day or two there was a shadow upon her spirit, which impressed +itself upon her face. Even May noticed it, but she asked no questions. +Sara was peculiarly reticent about her life with the Lairds. She rarely +mentioned them; in some way she felt a shrinking from doing so. And yet +now in the time of his trouble, Graham was continually in her thoughts. +She wondered if his faith in God had increased during the time when he +must have gone down for part of the way with his wife into the Valley +of the Shadow of Death. And she longed to be able to send him some bit +of comfort. She could only pray for him, and that she never failed to +do.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>About Christmas time, she got a long letter from Mrs. Laird—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAREST SARA,<br> +<br> + "It seemed to me that poor Eva's funeral was no sooner over than Graham +came to me to ask me my advice about her child.<br> +<br> + "'I promised Eva I would be a father to her,' he said, 'and I have +written to her, and she must spend her holidays with me. It will be +dull for a small child alone in that big house.'<br> +<br> + "He paused, and, Sara, I knew what he hoped. And I could not bring +myself to say it. I have never had a child in the house since my little +Dorrie died. A child of Eva's, with her mother's nature—well, I will +not write as I felt! The old Adam dies hard, Sara! Then I asked Graham +if he was going to live in that big house by himself. And he sighed and +said he felt he must, until he could let it. 'The child must have a +home, mother,' he said. 'Well,' I said, 'after her holidays, you might +come back to me for a little.' And he smiled. The first smile that has +crossed his lips since Eva died. 'I think I might, mother,' he said. +And my heart kindled at his words.<br> +<br> + "Yesterday the child arrived. He met her at the station and brought +her to see me on their way home. As they passed the house, it seemed +natural to him to do it, but I felt irritated at first—until I saw her. +I was sitting in the big drawing-room. Graham had run upstairs first to +ask me if he could bring her up. I hope he did not see my hesitation. +Then he went back, and a moment afterwards, she softly crept in at the +door and stood looking at me shyly and wistfully. Such a tiny slim +little thing in her deep black!—with big blue eyes and very fair hair.<br> +<br> + "I held out my hand, and she came sedately across to me. I kissed her, +Sara. She did not say one word. I wondered if my face was grim and +set, and if she was frightened of me. Somehow or other a sense of her +loneliness took possession of me.<br> +<br> + "'Have you had a nice journey?' I asked her for want of something +better to say. She looked at me, then clasped her small hands across +her chest.<br> +<br> + "'I felt,' she said, 'like Mummy used to—in a lonely world without +nobody to love me. And Mummy had me, and I have nobody.'<br> +<br> + "Great tears were in her eyes. I was going to put my arms right round +her and take her to my heart, when suddenly her little face became +perfectly radiant, and she sprang towards the table on which your +picture was—the one you sent me with your little nephew in your arms. +'Why!' she cried. 'It's my dearest Miss Darling! Does she live with +you? Mummy told me she had gone away.'<br> +<br> + "'So she has,' I said. But she did not hear me, she was hanging over +the picture in ecstasy. Then she turned to Graham who was following +her in. 'Oh!' she cried. 'My Miss Darling has got a baby! It's the one +thing I mean to have direck'ly I'm growed up. How very kind of God to +send her one.'<br> +<br> + "Graham smiled.<br> +<br> + "'Come along,' he said, 'we mustn't keep the cab waiting.'<br> +<br> + "She turned towards me at once, and put up her face for a good-bye kiss.<br> +<br> + "'Please, what may I call you? And may I, if I'm very good, come to see +Miss Darling's picture another day? She was a very special fren' of +mine, and I lost her so very soon.'<br> +<br> + "I tell you, Sara, I longed to keep the child for good and all. And I +said in a voice that astonished myself—'You may call me Grannie, dear.'<br> +<br> + "'Good night, Grannie dear,' she repeated, softly, and then Graham took +her away.<br> +<br> + "And now, Sara, I have been unpacking a box of Dorrie's books and +playthings, for if she and Graham do not come and live with me, I shall +go and live with them.<br> +<br> + "I can write no more. Much love,<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 10em;">"Your loving old friend,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 17.5em;">"RACHAEL."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"Ah!" murmured Sara to herself as she read and re-read this letter. "I +do not feel sorry for Graham if he has little True to share his big +empty house with him. She will cheer both him and his mother!"</p> + +<p>And she wrote a long letter in reply to Mrs. Laird, in which she begged +her to use her influence over the motherless child.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "True responds so quickly if you talk to her. She has had so little +religious teaching that I always wonder that her faith in God is so +sure and strong."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird acted upon Sara's suggestion. And day by day she and little +True drew nearer to each other, until the old lady was never happy away +from her.</p> + +<p>True said to her stepfather—</p> + +<p>"Grannie and I understand alike about some things, you know. I tell +her about fairyland, and she tells me about Heaven, and I really think +they're the same place, don't you?"</p> + +<p>And Graham looked at the child in amused astonishment. She often +reduced him to helpless silence.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_7">CHAPTER VII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>TOWN LIFE AGAIN</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>CHRISTMAS passed; a very sad time at the Hall, and Sara was glad when +it was over. May sometimes seemed to her to be possessed with the fever +of unrest. She never sat still unless at meals; she never opened a +book to read, and rarely a newspaper. Sometimes in the evenings she +would throw herself down in a fit of exhaustion upon the couch in +the library, and ask Sara to read her the news. All day long she was +either shut up in the study conning accounts, and doing business with +her father's bailiff; or else she was going round her father's farms, +trying to keep the reins of each in her hand.</p> + +<p>"Alan will never cope with it," she said to Sara one day. "He is too +easy-going. I expect he will have an agent. Father never had one. +He has kept on John Whiting as his working bailiff, and has always +superintended everything himself."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but, May dear, you are wearing yourself out. No woman can have +the same grip as a man. It is too much for you."</p> + +<p>"I mean to keep everything going without any change till Alan comes +back. And I am happier working hard. I have not so much time to think."</p> + +<p>She and Sara were thoroughly content with each other's company, and +they did not see much of any one else, except occasionally Nellie Peel.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>One day Nellie wrote a note to Sara, imploring her to come to tea with +her.</p> + +<p>"I shall be quite alone," she wrote; "and I have something of great +importance to tell you. My husband has gone to a clerical meeting and +won't be home till quite late. Don't disappoint me. May has so much of +you that she can well spare you to me this afternoon."</p> + +<p>Sara went, and found Nellie looking very bright and happy, with flushed +cheeks, and an important turn of her head.</p> + +<p>"Come and sit down in this easy-chair. Now then for my news. I don't +believe you would ever guess, and a year ago I should have thought it +bad news. Now I don't. I think it is seeing you with your little nephew +that has made me alter my mind."</p> + +<p>"Ah," said Sara, softly. "If my guess is a right one, I do indeed think +it good news. Is it that you are going to be a mother one day?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," whispered Nellie, "and I am glad. Of course John is delighted. +He has been so nice to me. I thought I must tell you before any one +else."</p> + +<p>"I am so very glad, Nellie dear. It is just what you want. Some little +life to tend and care for and train. You will have no more dull empty +days. And it will bring such a lot of fresh thoughts and ideas to you."</p> + +<p>"It has done that already," said Nellie, gravely. "I mean to turn over +a new leaf, and be a model wife and mother. I do want to be good, Miss +Darlington, but I hate being a long-faced Pharisee. You are not that. +You enjoy life, don't you? It doesn't matter where you are, or what +you are doing, you always look absolutely radiant, and I don't want my +child to think his mother a selfish pig!"</p> + +<p>Sara laughed heartily. But this was a prelude to a very nice little +talk together, and she left the rectory with great content in her +heart, for she knew that Nellie's rather shallow sleepy little soul was +at last waking up to realities.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The winter passed, and spring came. Slowly and gradually May was +creeping back to her normal life. She was not averse to seeing visitors +now. Occasionally she returned their calls. She and Sara always enjoyed +their evenings together. They would read and talk, and many long +earnest discussions they had on matters of science and theology, which +always led them to spiritual things.</p> + +<p>One day May heard from her brother on his way home, and strangely +enough, by the same mail, Sara heard from hers. Arnold's friend had +fractured his ankle, and they were returning to England before their +year was over.</p> + +<p>"It seems as if our circumstances are fitting in like a puzzle!" said +Sara, laughing.</p> + +<p>"My brother will want me in town very soon; and you will be wanting me +no longer."</p> + +<p>"Don't say that! I think I shall always want you. But I know what you +mean. Oh, Sara, what shall I do, when I am forced to leave this dear +old house? I have so much to interest and occupy me here. Imagine me +at a loose end in town! I always feel like a fish out of water there. +Where shall I live? What shall I do? You made your plans before your +brother married, but I can't do that. I know he will want help when +he first comes back. He knows nothing of the working of the estate. I +should like to take a cottage in the village and stay on as his agent. +I wonder if I could?"</p> + +<p>"I don't think it would be wise. Your brother would not get to know his +tenants so well if you did, and though it is delightful for you to be +able to look after everything in his absence, it wouldn't be the same +thing if he were here. It would place him in a false position."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I expect you are right. I had better make myself scarce, as soon +as ever he knows his way about."</p> + +<p>"I don't see why you shouldn't live in the neighbourhood still. You +need not separate yourself from them altogether, need you?"</p> + +<p>"The fact is, I know I should not be able to keep from interfering if +things went wrong," said May, laughing. "And Lilian is quite as fond of +managing as you say I am. I am afraid we should not get on if we lived +close to one another; whereas now we are great friends, and I should +always be able to pay them a visit in the summer."</p> + +<p>"I wish you would come and pay me a visit," said Sara. "I shall settle +down in town. My brother will have to be there, and it would be very +nice to have you, before you decided about your future."</p> + +<p>"I should love to come to you. May I really? Now, that makes my way +clear. I shall come straight off to you directly I leave this."</p> + +<p>A heavy sigh followed. May tried valiantly to keep up a brave heart, +but as yet she had not always succeeded.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>In a very little time her brother arrived.</p> + +<p>Sara liked him, and though May had perhaps the stronger character of +the two, Alan was a clear-headed straightforward young fellow. He told +Sara he was bitterly sorry to leave his profession. He had always had a +passion for the sea from a boy, but his father only let him enter the +Navy on condition that he would leave it, and take possession of the +property when it came to him.</p> + +<p>"And I mean to do my best," he said, "but I shall never run the show +like my father did. He was a born farmer, and loved his land as I love +the sea. I don't know much about farming, but I shall learn, and I mean +to have an agent. It wasn't necessary with my father. It will be with +me."</p> + +<p>Then he spoke of his sister.</p> + +<p>"She's a fine woman, isn't she? A born ruler. I'm sorry she means to +turn out. The house will hold us both, and Lilian and she are very fond +of each other. But I must leave her a free hand. Women can't be coerced +these days, eh, Miss Darlington?"</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Then came the day for Sara and her little nephew to return to London. +She left the Hall with sincere regret, but looked forward to seeing May +according to her promise later on.</p> + +<p>And when she got back to town, she found her brother awaiting her. He +was delighted at the growth of his baby son, who was now a year old, +and a most intelligent and amusing little mortal.</p> + +<p>Sara, with her usual adaptability, soon settled down in the town house +again, and life went on much the same as it had done before.</p> + +<p>Then one day she heard from Mrs. Laird, asking her if she could ever +spare time to run down to Folkestone and see little True, who had gone +back to school, but who had not been well.</p> + +<p>"Graham tells me I fuss too much over her," she wrote, "but she's +rather a delicate child, and she has had cold upon cold this winter. +I don't think the children are looked after carefully enough at her +school, and I want Graham to take her away and let me have her. There's +a very good day school she could attend here. If you could see her, I +should be so glad, for you could tell me what you thought of her."</p> + +<p>So one sunny day, Sara went down to True's school, and was allowed to +take her out for the whole day.</p> + +<p>The child was white and thin, but full of spirit, and delighted to see +her "Miss Darling" again.</p> + +<p>They went down to the beach, had lunch at a restaurant, and then went +for a drive in the afternoon, and True's little tongue was busy the +whole time. She spoke quite simply and a little sadly of her mother.</p> + +<p>"I never saw her go to Heaven, that's what made me so sorry, she didn't +tell me she was so very ill, and I wanted to wish her good-bye. It's +so dreadful to lose your Mummy, because you can't get another, and I +did love Mummy very much. I used to bother her, she often said so, but +I truefully tried not to. She didn't like having to explain things to +me—and I always feel I must know things; don't you, Miss Darling? And +now I've got two quite new people that I belong to, at least, Dad isn't +quite new. I've always knowed him, since we stayed at the farm near the +beautiful lake, and he says I can call him Dad."</p> + +<p>She paused for breath.</p> + +<p>"I'm sure you will get very fond of him," Sara said. "He will be always +good and kind."</p> + +<p>"Oh, my dear," said True in her old-fashioned way, "him and me are the +greatest fren's. We talk to each other about everything, and I tidy +out his pockets, and fill his pipe, and pour out his tea for him. He +came upstairs and sat with me when I went to bed with the earache, and +we said some hymns together. He likes some hymns and I like others. +And when I couldn't help crying for the pain, he wrapped me up in a +blanket, and set me on his knee by the fire. It was so comforting. He +has such nice big shoulders to rest your head against. I'm sure you +would think so, Miss Darling, if you did it. We used to talk about you +sometimes, and make out what you were doing. I said you were nursing +your baby and singing to it; he said you were making dark places light."</p> + +<p>"And what about Grannie?" asked Sara.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I just adore her!"</p> + +<p>True clasped her hands.</p> + +<p>"She spoils me, Dad says, but you've no idea what things I do with her. +She lets me tidy her boxes and drawers and have bits of ribbon and silk +to make dolls' frocks, and she tells me stories, and I play all sorts +of games with her. And we sit by the fire when it gets dark and see +pictures in the coals, and I tell her stories about them sometimes. I'm +very happy in Dalby, Miss Darling, but I do wish you'd come there too."</p> + +<p>It was hard to say which of them enjoyed that day the most. Sara was +always devoted to children; and she took a peculiar interest in True. +When she took her back to her school, she had a long talk with her +schoolmistress, who frankly said the child would be better at home than +at school.</p> + +<p>"Her brain is too quick and active, she works feverishly and excitedly, +she is always top of her class, and we have to keep her back. I do +not like the headaches she gets. She is too small to have them, and +I find they are the result of a high temperature. Of course whenever +she has one, she is put to bed and kept quiet. I think the necessary +competition in our classes is bad for her."</p> + +<p>Sara wrote this to Mrs. Laird. She hoped that True would be taken away; +she seemed to her much too small and delicate to be at such a big +boarding-school.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Then one day when she was sitting at tea, Graham Laird was announced.</p> + +<p>The suddenness of his coming brought a flush to her cheeks, and his +quiet determined handshake discomposed her for a moment.</p> + +<p>"How nice to see you!" she said. "Do sit down and let me give you some +tea. How is Mrs. Laird?"</p> + +<p>"Wonderfully well. I had to come to town on business, and I have come +to take away the child from school. It was good of you to take her out +for the day. A long account was written to me of the joys of that day."</p> + +<p>"She is a darling little thing," said Sara, warmly. "Are you going to +take her away before the Easter holidays? They are very late this year."</p> + +<p>"They are breaking up this week and expect me. My mother and I are +living together again, and she says she would like the charge of her."</p> + +<p>"Are you still going to live right in the town?" asked Sara.</p> + +<p>He looked at her with a little smile.</p> + +<p>"You wonder at our taste," he said. "The fact is houses are difficult +to get. I am keeping my eyes open, for I'm sure the child would be much +better in country air, and my mother would like it too. As I have my +car, I could easily live a few miles out."</p> + +<p>He took his tea from Sara's hands. He was conscious, as he always was +in her presence, of the freshness and fragrance of her atmosphere.</p> + +<p>She was dressed in a blue lavender cloth gown, her soft bright hair +seemed to be touched with sparkles of sunshine, her grey eyes as she +looked at Graham were the same sweet, steadfast ones that he remembered +so well. Her room was full of flowers, her surroundings had that +peculiarly homelike comfortable look which was characteristic of every +room which she occupied.</p> + +<p>And Sara, as she looked at the face that had never left her memory, saw +a change in it. Graham had streaks of grey in his dark hair; his face +was thinner and a little sharper in outline, but there was a serenity +and peacefulness in his eyes that never used to be there.</p> + +<p>"How are you?" he asked. "My mother will ask a good many questions +about you when I return. You must give me all the information that you +can. Are you going to stay in town all this summer?"</p> + +<p>"I am very well, thank you. We are thinking of going down to our farm +in Devonshire—baby and I—when the hot weather sets in."</p> + +<p>"Why don't you come up our way? My mother would enjoy seeing you again."</p> + +<p>Sara did not answer for a moment. The idea was delightful to her, but +hardly feasible.</p> + +<p>"I want your mother to come and see me," she said pleasantly. "She and +little True might like to pay a visit to Devonshire this summer."</p> + +<p>A shadow came into his eyes.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps they might," he said quietly.</p> + +<p>And Sara was vexed with herself for making the suggestion.</p> + +<p>"How is dear Ina?"</p> + +<p>"Very well. She and the Colonel are very busy people. She still keeps +her fingers in some of my pies and so does he. I don't think any of my +cousin's good works have been allowed to drop."</p> + +<p>"How nice!"</p> + +<p>Then he said abruptly—.</p> + +<p>"Do you think the child looking very delicate?"</p> + +<p>"Not particularly, but I do think she would be better at home and not +at school."</p> + +<p>"Yes, and we want to have her with us. She is very good company. She +stayed with me for a couple of weeks, before my mother came to me, and +she seemed perfectly happy and able to take care of herself."</p> + +<p>"I think her mother brought her up to be useful," said Sara; then she +added softly—</p> + +<p>"I was so sorry to hear of your trouble. Was it not very sudden? +Perhaps you would rather I did not speak of it?"</p> + +<p>"No, I would like to tell you. She and I both knew that her days were +numbered when we married. She was very lonely and afraid, and I think +I was able to comfort her—latterly. Her doctor told her he would +give her two years, but he told me that was the possibility, not the +probability."</p> + +<p>He paused. Sara's quick woman's intuition in an instant filled out that +short sketch of his married life. She knew his chivalrous nature; she +realized that Graham had married Eva out of tender compassion, because +he believed that he could help her. She had always known that Eva was +fond of him.</p> + +<p>But she was speechless.</p> + +<p>And after a moment or two, Graham went on—</p> + +<p>"I expect you would like to know that her end was a very peaceful and +happy one. She died in her sleep. But she was absolutely prepared and +ready for death."</p> + +<p>"I am so glad."</p> + +<p>Sara murmured the words.</p> + +<p>"Yes," he said in the same clear grave tone; "and though we were +married such a short time, though one can consider it but an interlude, +I shall never to the end of my life regret the step we took. For it was +then—"</p> + +<p>He was interrupted. Arnold Darlington came into the room.</p> + +<p>Sara introduced the two men, and they chatted together on various +subjects before Graham left.</p> + +<p>He told Sara he was staying in town the following day, which was +Sunday, and going down to Folkestone on the Monday.</p> + +<p>Arnold asked him to lunch, and he accepted the invitation.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>When he was gone, Arnold looked at his sister with a whimsical smile.</p> + +<p>"So that is Laird with whom you lived in the wilds so long!"</p> + +<p>"I lived with his mother," corrected Sara.</p> + +<p>"It comes to the same thing. I like him. He's a strong able man."</p> + +<p>Sara said nothing. She felt she could not discuss him with her brother.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_8">CHAPTER VIII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>GRAHAM'S VISIT</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>GRAHAM came to lunch, had a smoke and chat with Arnold in his study, +and then hearing that Sara was going to the Abbey service, asked if he +might accompany her. They walked across St. James's Park, which was +looking bright with bulbs and spring flowers.</p> + +<p>Sara found conversation rather difficult. Graham was peculiarly silent, +he seemed to her to be in dreams, but in reality every moment of his +time with her was precious to him. If he was in dreams, she formed the +centre of those dreams.</p> + +<p>They reached the Abbey, and managed to get seats in the Choir. The +service was exquisitely rendered, and the anthem that afternoon was, +"Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their +corn and their wine increased." One boy's voice rang out with such +thrilling power and sweetness that tears came to Sara's eyes.</p> + +<p>When they came out, Graham said—</p> + +<p>"I haven't enjoyed a service like that for many years. It seems to lift +one up to the heights."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Sara; "I've had a very happy hour. I always come here in +the afternoon. I let nurse go out in the evening and stay with my small +nephew then."</p> + +<p>"May I, if we have spare time on our hands, come and see you on our +way home? True is always talking of you. I shall put up at an hotel +to-morrow night and then bring her up to town Tuesday. Will you be in +that afternoon?"</p> + +<p>"I shall make an engagement of it," said Sara with her happy smile.</p> + +<p>Then they talked of some of the philanthropic ventures of Graham's +cousin. He seemed to know all the weak points in them, and had already +remedied a good deal.</p> + +<p>"You are more interested in this part of the work than you were," said +Sara, presently.</p> + +<p>He looked at her.</p> + +<p>"I have had my outlook changed," he said quietly. Then he added—</p> + +<p>"I always used to wonder if your happiness was just a habit, if it was +cultivated, or whether it was spontaneous, the bubbling up of a spring +inside. I know it is the spring overflowing. That anthem explains it, +doesn't it? I'd like you to know that the first bit of it has become my +experience."</p> + +<p>Before Sara could speak, he was holding out his hand. They had come to +her brother's house and he was saying good-bye.</p> + +<p>"No, thank you, I won't come in, but we'll hope to see each other next +Tuesday."</p> + +<p>"Mr. Laird, you 'must' let me say how glad I am!"</p> + +<p>Sara's shining eyes made Graham's heart throb. He was putting great +restraint upon his feelings.</p> + +<p>"I knew you would be," he said simply, and then he turned away.</p> + +<p>And Sara went indoors with unspeakable joy filling her heart.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>She almost counted the moments to Tuesday, and then took herself to +task for being so glad.</p> + +<p>"Still," she argued to herself, "I am wronging no woman by thinking of +him and loving him, even if he has left off loving me. And I shall see +him once more, and I shall have the memory of it afterwards."</p> + +<p>Tuesday came, and between three and four, Graham came into Sara's +drawing-room leading little True by the hand.</p> + +<p>The child seemed to make the situation easy at once. She flung her arms +round Sara's neck.</p> + +<p>"Isn't it lovely what's happening? Me leaving school and always going +to live with Dad and Grannie! And we've done some shopping. And I +choosed some new gloves for Dad, and we're taking Grannie a beautiful +basket to put her knitting in, with cherries hanging over it."</p> + +<p>"Shopping is a tremendous undertaking with True," said Graham, his +eyes alight with humour: "she thinks that every shopwalker and all the +assistants ought to gather round and witness our purchases."</p> + +<p>"I made Dad get some new gloves," said True, shaking her curls at him +in a motherly fashion. Then she darted to his side, and plunged her +hand into one of his coat pockets. Drawing out a stout, well-worn +leather pair of gloves, she held them up before Sara to see.</p> + +<p>"Now, did you ever see such disgusting, shabby gloves?" she cried. +"Grannie and me has to look him all over to see he is tidy when he +comes to church with us!"</p> + +<p>Sara's laughing eyes met Graham's.</p> + +<p>"Yes," he said; "I'm well managed, I can tell you!"</p> + +<p>He sat down and took True on his knee. The little girl subsided when +her stepfather and Sara began to talk to each other, but at last she +said in suppressed excitement—</p> + +<p>"Miss Darling, may I see your dear little baby? Dad says he hasn't seen +him, but we both know him by his picture. I know you aren't his real +mother now. Grannie explained it to me. I thought you know that—"</p> + +<p>But Sara had hastily risen, and rung the bell.</p> + +<p>"Yes, True darling, you shall see him at once. I will have him brought +down. He is getting quite a big boy now."</p> + +<p>Little Oliver appeared in his nurse's arm. He struggled to get to Sara, +and when in her lap, True advanced to make friends with him. He was +quite willing to be friends, and presently he scrambled down to the +floor, where he crawled very quickly towards Sara's guitar case.</p> + +<p>"Moo, moo, moo!" he called out.</p> + +<p>"There, isn't that clever?" cried Sara in delight. "He's beginning to +talk already. He loves music, and I play and sing to him when he comes +down. Now he quite expects it."</p> + +<p>"Don't disappoint him," said Graham. "True and I would like to hear +you."</p> + +<p>For a moment, Sara hesitated, then she opened her case. The baby sat on +the floor looking up expectantly.</p> + +<p>And then she broke into one of her pretty gay little songs called +"Fairybells."</p> + +<p>The tinkles of the bells were so realistic that True laughed and +clapped her hands, and the baby joined her, beating his hands on the +floor.</p> + +<p>Graham looked on. If this visit was enjoyed by Sara, to him it was a +dream of delight.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" he said. "We must tell Grannie about that song, True."</p> + +<p>He asked Sara to sing again, and she did so, and then tea came in.</p> + +<p>True hardly wanted to have hers. She was so engrossed in playing with +the baby on the floor that she wanted nothing else. And when his +nurse came in to take him away, she parted with him with the greatest +reluctance.</p> + +<p>"I wish you and baby would come and visit us," she said, when at last +she was seated up at the table enjoying some jam sandwiches.</p> + +<p>"Dad, dear, she'd come if you asked her, I expect."</p> + +<p>But Graham shook his head gravely.</p> + +<p>"I have asked her already and she has refused me. And I don't like to +be refused anything that I set my heart upon, True. Perhaps one day I +may ask her again, and then she may say 'Yes.'"</p> + +<p>"And when she comes, we'll never let her go again," cried True, gaily.</p> + +<p>Sara blushed, and she was conscious that Graham noted her blush.</p> + +<p>"Baby's father wants us both," she said in a cheerful tone. "I have my +brother to look after, just as you look after Dad, True."</p> + +<p>"Have you reely? Is he as untidy as Dad? I'm always tidying his +pockets, and his writing-table."</p> + +<p>They talked away, and then Graham carried True off with him to his +hotel. They were going to start for the North early the next morning.</p> + +<p>Good-bye was hard to say, and Sara's voice faltered a little as she +sent love and messages to Mrs. Laird and Ina.</p> + +<p>Graham held her hand in his as if he could not let it go, but his words +were few—</p> + +<p>"Good-bye. If ever I am up in town again, may I come and see you?"</p> + +<p>"Of course. I am always glad to see old friends."</p> + +<p>She could not, and would not, meet his gaze.</p> + +<p>When they had gone, she sat wrapt in dreamy meditation. And it was not +till her brother came in and claimed her attention that she roused +herself.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next few days found her restless and preoccupied. Then, happily for +her, she heard from May, asking her if she could have her for a short +visit, and Sara brightened up again, and prepared to welcome her warmly.</p> + +<p>May arrived late one afternoon. Arnold did not see her till she came +into the drawing-room before dinner. She swept in with her usual +proud graceful carriage. She was clad in a thin, black gown, which +intensified the whiteness of her neck and arms. Her hair was coiled up +on the top of her head. She wore no jewelry of any sort, but she was a +girl who could not fail to be noticed anywhere. And her easy grace, and +clever, amusing talk, made her always a favourite with men. Sara was +not surprised to see her brother fall under her spell.</p> + +<p>May had lost the harassed look of gloom that she had after her father's +death. She gave Sara an amusing account of her brother's efforts to +understand and manage his tenants.</p> + +<p>"I came across him one day haranguing a very uppish farmer. They were +both red in the face, and were going at it hammer and tongs.</p> + +<p>"'I tell you,' Alan was shouting, 'I may not know as much about soil +and mangels as you do, but I do know that you've one of the best farms +on the property, and are putting by more money than most of us about +here. My father knew what a fair rent was, and I'm not going to reduce +it by one penny!'</p> + +<p>"They stopped when I came up. I asked Alan afterwards if it was nice to +show such heat in discussing such matters with a tenant, and he said:</p> + +<p>"'Only to hide my ignorance, my dear. I'm not going to let them +browbeat me! And as to shouting, we all shout at sea, it's second +nature!'</p> + +<p>"Oh, he'll get on with them soon. And I feel that you are right, Sara. +It is best that I should leave him to weather it out alone."</p> + +<p>"Have you made any plans yet?" asked Sara.</p> + +<p>"I want to do something in town. Work of some sort."</p> + +<p>"What a passion you all have for work nowadays!" said Arnold. "Why have +you such abundant energy? Women used not to possess it."</p> + +<p>"I suppose we are stronger, physically," said May, thoughtfully. "And +our schools train us in a wider way, and give us a broader outlook, +and a higher idea of our capabilities. I am not one of those who would +leave home to work. But my home has left me. And I can't sit down with +folded hands and do nothing. I have led a very active life at home, and +I want to be active still."</p> + +<p>"So many girls come to London to find work," said Arnold. "I see scores +of them going about the city. Typewriting and clerking gives them +stooping shoulders and weary-lined faces—old before their time. If I +were your brother, Miss Agnew, I would not allow you to do it."</p> + +<p>"There speaks a despot," said May, laughing; "how could you prevent me?"</p> + +<p>"I have prevented Sara. She had those ideas when we first left home, +but I persuaded her that I was going to the bad living alone in town. +So she swallowed the bait, and settled down with me as meek as Moses!"</p> + +<p>Sara laughed.</p> + +<p>"Yes, he is right in what he says, May. But men are very helpless +without women to look after them; and I have learnt that filling empty +corners and helping those who need help is as much work as anything +else."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said May, her expressive dark eyes shadowing a little, "but then +nobody wants me. I have no empty corner to fill."</p> + +<p>Arnold had been standing at the open window as he talked. He now +stepped out upon the balcony, and gazed with troubled brooding eyes +over the quiet square in front of his house.</p> + +<p>"I wonder," he said to himself, "whether I dare to hope that she might +fill mine."</p> + +<p>May had not been with them a week before her cousin, Captain Talbot, +discovered her, and came round to take her out. She was away the best +part of one day with him, and came back in very low spirits.</p> + +<p>Sara and she were dining alone that evening. Arnold was out.</p> + +<p>When they were in the drawing-room together after dinner, May said—</p> + +<p>"Aren't men tiresome, Sara? I think I must tell you. My cousin asked me +to marry him this afternoon. I have always been very fond of him as a +cousin, but nothing more. Now this spoils everything. I hoped to see a +good deal of him when I was up here. I have other relations, but they +are very gay; I never do care much for incessant amusement, and just +now, of course, I should not go anywhere. I had made up my mind that +Charlie and I would do several little quiet expeditions together, and +now that is all over. I have lost my cousin and my friend."</p> + +<p>"Don't you really care for him?" asked Sara, sympathetically. "I only +saw him that one evening, but I thought he seemed such a delightful +man."</p> + +<p>"Not as a husband. I know him too well. I feel very down to-night, +Sara. Will you sing to me? It is so desolate to be without a home, +isn't it? I feel I can never settle in town. It's far lonelier than the +country. I have absolutely no object in life. If only I had, I should +be happier."</p> + +<p>Sara got up to get her guitar.</p> + +<p>Then she sang very sweetly and softly—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"I've been to the familiar places,<br> + The dear old ways;<br> + But there were no familiar faces<br> + That met my gaze.<br> + The green woods were too lonely,<br> + I, there alone,—I only.<br> + <br> +"I climbed among the mountain ridges<br> + Beyond the town,<br> + And on its crowded streets and bridges<br> + Looked sadly down.<br> + The mountain was too lonely,<br> + I stood alone,—I only.<br> + <br> +"But looking up, not down, Faith traces<br> + A City Fair,<br> + And sees the dear, familiar faces<br> + That gather there;<br> + None stand deserted, lonely,<br> + Yet still my own,—mine only.<br> + <br> +"And strange! while gazing on that City<br> + New life is found,—<br> + My heart is filled with yearning pity<br> + For men around.<br> + I must not enter lonely,<br> + Nor bring one,—one only.<br> + <br> +"I will go forth, to sinners telling<br> + That Christ has come,—<br> + I will go forth, by love compelling<br> + The wanderers home;<br> + Pointing the lost and lonely<br> + To Christ alone,—Christ only!" *<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="footnote"> +* S. L. F., <em>Lyra Christiana.</em><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>There was dead silence when the last note died away.</p> + +<p>May sat in a dusky corner of the drawing-room, and she was shading her +eyes with her hand. At last, she broke the silence.</p> + +<p>"I can't think where you get your songs from! You have one suitable for +every occasion."</p> + +<p>Her words were lightly spoken, but there was a little break in her +voice. Then in a gentler tone she added—</p> + +<p>"I do like that immensely, Sara; you live the last verse out, and +I'd like you to know that you haven't pointed in vain as far as I'm +concerned. But I can't imagine myself taking up that role; I know so +little, I am so ignorant. I only know that beneath all the loneliness +and sorrow, I have real deep peace and assurance that I belong to +Christ and that He loves me."</p> + +<p>"Dear May, the rest will follow. You need not try to teach before you +have learnt, but you will soon realize the compelling force of love. I +hoped that you were happier. But I waited till you felt you could tell +me about it."</p> + +<p>"It's intensely comforting," said May, slowly, "but oh, I have such a +longing for father. Sara, do you believe that we can hold no communion +with the dead upon this earth?"</p> + +<p>"Personally I don't believe God wishes us to do so, but may I tell +you what has been a tremendous comfort to me? A few years ago I lost +a very dear school friend. She and I were friends for many years, in +fact we wrote to each other every day. She married and went to India, +but we never stopped writing to each other. She helped me in spiritual +things more than any one else on earth. She died suddenly in India from +fever, and a blank came into my life. I found myself longing to tell +her things. And at last, I seemed to realize that it could not be wrong +when I was praying, to ask that God Himself, if He saw fit, would give +her a message from me, or let her know what I was so anxious she should +know. It is so perfectly easy for Him, is it not? And He loves to have +us pour out our hearts before Him. It must be the better way, rather +than resort to spiritualism as so many do. That, we know from the +Bible, is directly opposed to God's will. If, as we believe, our loved +ones are in God's keeping, surely we can ask Him to speak to them about +anything that we feel they would like to know. I feel that if it is +good for them to know it, they will be told, and if not, we must rest +content with God's will in the matter."</p> + +<p>"That's very interesting," said May, thoughtfully; then she added—</p> + +<p>"You always give me food for thought when we talk together. Now let me +give you an idea of mine. I should like to go and live in a settlement +in the East End for a short time. I should learn a good deal there—be +helped myself, and perhaps be able to help others."</p> + +<p>"I think it would be splendid for you, but I should like you to get +into the right kind of settlement. Some of them are so much more +helpful than others. Don't plunge in anywhere, will you? Let us make +inquiries together first."</p> + +<p>"Yes. I will not be in a hurry. You see, Sara, I am not like you. I +don't think I am sympathetic enough to have any personal influence +amongst people in my own class. I'm not very fond of girls, you know. I +like visiting the poor. I have always done it, and it comes natural to +me."</p> + +<p>Sara did not tell her friend that she would find the London poor rather +different to her father's country tenants. She knew that she must buy +her experience, but as they parted that night for bed, Sara put both +her hands on her shoulders, and said tenderly—</p> + +<p>"Dear May, I shall go to sleep very happy to-night. Doesn't it make +life fuller and deeper to you?"</p> + +<p>"Very much," said May, gravely. "You know I'm not a demonstrative +person, Sara, but I understand as I never understood before how it is +you are such a persistently happy person. And I can never thank you +enough for having shared your wonderful secret with me."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_9">CHAPTER IX</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A DAY OF SUNSHINE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>MAY soon found a settlement in which she promptly established herself. +She came to see Sara as often as she could. Once when she arrived +early in the afternoon, she found Sara out. So she betook herself +to the nursery. Little Oliver dearly loved a romp with her, and May +always had a bewitching way with children. She was in the midst of a +game with him, when the door opened and Arnold appeared. He looked his +astonishment.</p> + +<p>"I came up here to find Sara. I've had tickets for a private view of +pictures in Bond Street, and thought she would like to come with me. +The artist is a friend of mine."</p> + +<p>"She is out," said May, putting her hands up to her hair which Oliver +had loosened in his play. "I was very disappointed to find her gone, so +I came up here and Oliver is consoling me."</p> + +<p>"Would you like to come instead?"</p> + +<p>His tone was eager.</p> + +<p>May looked at him and considered.</p> + +<p>"How long will it take? I have only two hours off. I must be back at +half-past five."</p> + +<p>"Come along. We can do it."</p> + +<p>And off they went together, and when Sara came home, she was amused, +and rather pleased to hear it. It was not the last time that Arnold +took May about town. He gradually lapsed into a very happy comradeship +with her. And May accepted his attentions, but apparently took them as +she had taken her cousin's, and thought nothing of them.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>In August, Sara took Oliver again to the farm; and there they stayed +for a couple of months.</p> + +<p>May was at the Hall for a part of the time; and it was a very enjoyable +time to all. Nellie Peel was a great deal with Sara. She was much +softer and sweeter in manner, and was full of the little one who was to +arrive two months later.</p> + +<p>Sara heard very often from Mrs. Laird. She seemed happy and well. True +was the delight of her heart. Sara wondered sometimes whether Graham +would ever want anything else in his life than he had at present. He as +well as his mother was devoted to his little stepdaughter.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Sara returned to town in the autumn, and May went back to her work. The +winter passed quietly and happily.</p> + +<p>Then one bright afternoon in April, Graham suddenly appeared upon the +scene again. Sara was just going out when he was announced.</p> + +<p>She welcomed him with her usual happy ease.</p> + +<p>"Now I am not going to keep you in this lovely day," he said at once. +"Have you an engagement?"</p> + +<p>"No, I was simply going out for the good of my health," said Sara.</p> + +<p>"Then may I come with you?"</p> + +<p>She assented, and after a little discussion, Graham hailed a taxi, and +they drove off to Kensington Gardens. Then they got out and walked. +The fresh green budding trees and the bright spring flowers were +always a keen delight to Sara, but to-day they seemed to be especially +exhilarating. She was hearing all the Dalby news.</p> + +<p>"I have found a house at last," said Graham. "It has only just become +vacant. A Colonel Dewar has been living in it. He commands the +district, and his time is up, and his successor, an unmarried man, is +going to live in barracks."</p> + +<p>"Do tell me what it is like. Is it in the country?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, close to the moor, but in a sheltered hollow, about a mile and +a half away from Jack Fleming. It is not exactly a pretty-looking +house. My mother says it is not. I never know what women do consider +attractive, but it has a delightful garden, and is enclosed with old +red brick walls, which are for the most part covered with fruit trees."</p> + +<p>"That sounds delicious. What does True say to it?"</p> + +<p>"She's in the seventh heaven of delight. She has planned out all the +rooms. Of course she has chosen one for you. She thinks the size of the +house no disadvantage, because she says the more rooms we have, the +more of our friends we can have to stay with us. The list of True's +friends grows alarmingly! And they are a cosmopolitan crew, from +dustmen and crossing sweepers to shopmen and policemen, and there isn't +a soul with whom we come in contact that True doesn't know. She has +their family histories at her finger ends!"</p> + +<p>"Dear little True! Now describe the house."</p> + +<p>"I have brought you a snapshot. It is a square red brick house covered +with creepers in the summer. I saw it for the first time in the autumn, +and the sun blinds were down over the windows, and I took a snapshot of +it then."</p> + +<p>"Shall we sit down here? It is so warm."</p> + +<p>They took a seat in a very secluded part of the gardens. Only happy +children's voices could be heard in the distance, and a far-away rumble +of traffic that might be the distant roar of the ocean waves. As they +sat there, the trees hid all houses, all disfiguring chimney pots, and +the birds were singing ecstatically in the branches.</p> + +<p>"We might be miles out of London," said Sara. "What a boon these +gardens are! Now may I see your snapshot? Oh, what a sweet old family +house! I should have lost my heart to it. It looks so truly comfortable +and cheerful."</p> + +<p>Then Graham wasted no more time.</p> + +<p>"I have my house, Sara, but unless you become its mistress, it will be +an empty house to me. I am venturing to speak to you again. Will you +give me a kind answer this time?"</p> + +<p>Sara did not look up. She understood now why the gardens had seemed so +full of sunshine to-day. And she knew that this moment was going to be +the most exquisite one of her life.</p> + +<p>She just put her hand over his, and said—</p> + +<p>"I feel I would do anything to make you happy."</p> + +<p>He held her hand tightly, and Sara could feel the throbbing of his +pulses.</p> + +<p>"Then you are going to give yourself to me for good and all? Look up. +Let me see your dear eyes."</p> + +<p>And as Sara raised her head, she saw that Graham's stern face was +illumined with radiance.</p> + +<p>"I can hardly believe my good fortune," he said. "You know my heart +has always been yours from the first day I saw you. I told Eva that. +I would not let her marry me under false pretences. At that time, I +felt you would never relent, that our paths would be apart all our +lives. But later, when in God's infinite goodness, He brought me to the +knowledge of Himself, I began to wonder whether in time I would speak +to you again. And your God is my God now, Sara. There will be nothing +between our spirits, and we shall have all eternity together."</p> + +<p>And then Sara's soft grey eyes suddenly filled with tears.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Graham, I had a hard time after I had sent you away. I can hardly +believe the long waiting time is over. It seems too good to be true. I +have had to stand aside, outside your life—when my heart and soul was +in it."</p> + +<p>Much more they said, and then slowly they retraced their steps home.</p> + +<p>Sara found that her brother had just come in, so she made Graham +accompany her to his smoking-room and they gave him their news +together. He was not surprised.</p> + +<p>"I knew I shouldn't keep her long when you arrived upon the scene last +spring. I only wonder you've taken so long to speak."</p> + +<p>But Sara knew that it was in honour of Eva's memory that Graham had +waited more than a year to come and claim her.</p> + +<p>He surprised her by his impatience now.</p> + +<p>"Why should we not get a special licence and be quietly married in town +within the next few days? There is nothing to wait for. We know each +other through and through. We have lived in the same house together for +over a year!"</p> + +<p>"I cannot do that," said Sara. "What is to become of my small nephew? +You do not realize that I shall be leaving my brother in a very awkward +position. Some women might not feel they could leave him. But I place +you and your wants before him. And I think that he will not be left +alone for very long. But there are many arrangements that I must make!"</p> + +<p>"Then will you do this? I have business that will keep me in town till +the end of the week. Will you come back with me to Dalby for a short +visit? Just to see the house, and give me an idea how you would like +it decorated and furnished. It is to be your home. You have a right to +advise and help me in making it beautiful for you. It will be such joy +to my mother to have you with her again as a visitor."</p> + +<p>"I think I might do that," said Sara, slowly, but light sprang into her +eyes as she spoke. She knew what a joy such a visit would be to her. +Then she added—</p> + +<p>"That is, if I can leave Arnold happy and comfortable without me. +I have the baby to think of, you know, but his nurse is a very +responsible steady person, and would manage perfectly without me for a +week or two."</p> + +<p>Arnold was quite willing to spare his sister.</p> + +<p>And so it came to pass that three days afterwards, Sara was journeying +up North with Graham. She wondered sometimes if she were dreaming. Her +happiness almost felt unreal in its intensity. Graham had not written +telling his mother that she was returning. It was Mrs. Laird's birthday +the following day, and he and Sara had planned her visit as a surprise.</p> + +<p>He and Sara had a compartment to themselves. And they had so much to +say to one another that Sara was quite sorry when the journey was over.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>When they reached Dalby, Graham was told that his car was waiting for +him. They went outside the station, and there found True sitting up in +state on the front seat of the car.</p> + +<p>"Grannie said I might come and meet you, Dad. It seems years since you +went away."</p> + +<p>Then she caught sight of Sara, and screamed with delight.</p> + +<p>"She's going to be a birthday surprise to Grannie," said Graham.</p> + +<p>"Oh, how loverly! Oh, Miss Darling, let me hug you. What a birthday +Grannie will have! Have you brought your baby?"</p> + +<p>"No, he is staying at home helping to amuse his daddy," said Sara. +"Why, True, you are getting quite fat and rosy!"</p> + +<p>"Ah, you wait and see me when we live in the country!" said the child +dimpling with smiles. "All the wishes of my life are coming true. +It's almost as good as fairyland to me, that house is! There's an +orchard where a swing can be put, and there's a loft and woodshed and +henhouses, and a pond for ducks. And now you've come, couldn't we all +go and see the house to-morrow for a birthday treat for Grannie?"</p> + +<p>"I really think we might," said Graham. "We'll all take a holiday, +True."</p> + +<p>The child clapped her hands. Then she looked thoughtful.</p> + +<p>"Where are you going to hide Miss Darling till to-morrow morning? If +she's a birthday present, she mustn't be given to Grannie till then."</p> + +<p>"Do you think I ought to be made a parcel of?" asked Sara, laughing. +"Wrapped in brown paper and laid on the breakfast table?"</p> + +<p>True did not laugh.</p> + +<p>"There's only one person who could lift you in his arms and carry you, +if you were a parcel, and that is Daddy," she said gravely.</p> + +<p>And then Graham and Sara laughed out together.</p> + +<p>"No," said Graham, presently; "you and I will go and tell Grannie that +her birthday present is waiting outside the door. That it has come +overnight to be sure to be in time."</p> + +<p>"Yes, and Grannie will go outside and find her."</p> + +<p>True was quite excited in thinking about it.</p> + +<p>"My birthday present will be nothing," she said, "'nothing' after this. +I've got Grannie some coloured pockethandkerchers, Miss Darling. Three +lovely ones with pictures on them, there's a boat on a sea on one, and +a man grinding a organ on another, and a boy and a windmill on the +other, and I really don't know which I like the best of them!"</p> + +<p>"I'm sure Grannie will like them all," said Sara, comfortingly.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>They reached the house. Sara looked at it with interest. Mrs. Laird had +never moved from her cousin's house, and Graham had come back to her +there. There was no garden in front. It faced the street, but it was +at the quiet end of the High Street, and most of the traffic was lower +down. The drawing-room was upstairs.</p> + +<p>True with delighted face crept upstairs on tiptoe. Graham and Sara +followed.</p> + +<p>Then Sara stayed outside in the long narrow passage, whilst the others +went into the room.</p> + +<p>They left the door ajar, and she heard Mrs. Laird's pleased welcome. +She also heard—</p> + +<p>"And did you see my dear Sara in town?"</p> + +<p>Then True's eager little voice—</p> + +<p>"And Daddy's brought you such a big birthday present, Grannie, that we +couldn't carry it in, and it's waiting for you outside the door."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Graham, you have not been wasting your money on me?"</p> + +<p>True burst into giggles of delight. She danced up and down.</p> + +<p>"Go and fetch it in, Grannie! Fetch it in quick, quick!"</p> + +<p>The door opened, and Mrs. Laird appeared with a puzzled smiling face.</p> + +<p>Then she and Sara were in each other's arms.</p> + +<p>"Oh, my dear! My dear! How I have prayed and longed for you!"</p> + +<p>She drew her in, and when True's excitement had subsided a little, she +was sent upstairs to tidy herself for tea.</p> + +<p>Then Graham drew near, and took Sara's hand in his.</p> + +<p>"She has only come for a very short visit now, mother, but she is going +to be your daughter, and coming to us for good and all very soon."</p> + +<p>And then Mrs. Laird was quite overcome, and began to wipe away the +tears of joy that were springing to her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I have felt lately that joy was coming to us," she said. "It has not +been only the lovely spring weather. I had a strange feeling that good +was on the way to us!"</p> + +<p>She sat down in her easy-chair, and held Sara by the hand as if she +could not let her go.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Sara, I have sometimes felt that life has been an effort without +you. How good God is to give you back to us!"</p> + +<p>"Dear Mrs. Laird," whispered Sara, "my heart has been with you all the +time."</p> + +<p>When tea came in, they talked in soberer fashion. Graham sketched out +plans for the next day. A picnic lunch was to be taken in the car, and +eaten in the house that was to become their home. Then they could have +leisure to look over it in every detail, and he would ask his builder +and decorator to come out in the afternoon and discuss all necessary +repairs and alterations.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird was as pleased as True with the prospect. Later on, she +carried off Sara to her bedroom, and there they sat and talked till +nearly dinnertime.</p> + +<p>"You are going to make my boy happy at last. If any one deserves you, +I consider he does. And oh, Sara dear, he has so softened since poor +Eva's death. I wonder if he has told you, as he did me, how it was her +pitiful appeals to him that made him marry her? At first, he was very +reticent about it, until one day when we were talking about you, I +said I feared you would consider that Eva had taken your place in his +affections. Then he said, with a hurt look in his eyes—</p> + +<p>"'Oh, mother, if you had seen her stabbed to the heart by a surgeon's +blunt truthfulness, if you had heard her sobs, and realized her +weakness and loneliness and dread of life, lived on without a soul to +cheer or speak to her, you wouldn't have wondered at my consent. She +was unnerved or she would not have let me see her heart. I knew it +would be but a very short time. I couldn't resist her appeals for help +and comfort. And though I felt afterwards that I might have made a +mistake, the time came when I saw that I had not.'</p> + +<p>"He really was led to see things differently, Sara, through reading the +Bible to his wife. You forgive him for that tragic marriage?"</p> + +<p>"Forgive him, dear Mrs. Laird? There is no forgiveness needed. It has +only shown me his chivalrous tenderness to a dying woman. He had no +thought for himself, only for her. I don't believe another man in the +world would have acted so!"</p> + +<p>That was a very happy evening.</p> + +<p>Sara was taken all over the house, and shown the wing which was devoted +to clubrooms and classrooms for the colliers and their wives and +children.</p> + +<p>She asked Graham what he thought of doing with the old house.</p> + +<p>"You will keep on the clubs and classes, will you not?"</p> + +<p>"Most emphatically. My idea is to keep the wing of this house exactly +as it stands, and put a caretaker into it. I can let off the private +part of the house very easily. You see we have a car, and whenever you +or my mother want to come into town, you can do so."</p> + +<p>Then Mrs. Laird said very quietly—</p> + +<p>"Of course we have not discussed everything yet. I am wondering if +you two had not better start your married life alone. A mother and +mother-in-law is not always a success in the house. And I have been +living alone until lately. I can do so again."</p> + +<p>Sara shot a quick look at Graham, who just smiled at her.</p> + +<p>"Dear Mrs. Laird," she said, slipping her hand into Mrs. Laird's arm, +"I will not marry Graham unless you live with us; and if you ask him, +he will say the same. We want the rest of your life to be a blaze of +sunshine. We do not want you to have the slightest shadow across your +path. It will be one of my joys to see you happy. We all love each +other so much, that our lives would be spoiled away from each other."</p> + +<p>"And True and I have chosen a lovely sunny room for Grannie's +sitting-room," said Graham; "so that when she wants quiet and rest, she +can have it."</p> + +<p>Then Mrs. Laird said, smiling through the tears that came so easily +this evening—</p> + +<p>"Don't you think that there will be rest and comfort wherever Sara is? +She has made our happiness in the past, and she wouldn't be Sara if she +does not make it still."</p> + +<p>Graham turned to Sara with a smile.</p> + +<p>"There!" he said. "Those are our sentiments. I can't add more, except +that it will be my part to take care of you, and to try to do it as +well as you take care of others!"</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Bk2_Ch_10">CHAPTER X</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THEIR FUTURE HOME</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>MRS. LAIRD'S birthday welcomed her with bright sunshine and a cloudless +blue sky. True was in her bedroom long before breakfast time, +presenting her wonderful handkerchiefs, and chattering gaily about the +delights in front of them.</p> + +<p>"Run away, chatterbox," said Mrs. Laird at length, "or Grannie will be +late for breakfast."</p> + +<p>"I'll go this very minute."</p> + +<p>But her hand on the door handle, she paused.</p> + +<p>"Isn't it a very comfortable feeling, Grannie, that Miss Darling is in +our house? I thought about it direckly I woke."</p> + +<p>"And that was Grannie's first thought too," said Mrs. Laird.</p> + +<p>The car came round very soon after breakfast. The luncheon basket +was packed in, plenty of rugs taken in case it might be chilly, and +then Mrs. Laird, Sara, and True were tucked up comfortably on the +broad seat together. Graham drove himself. They sped away through the +busy streets, past the collieries with their high shafts and smoky +surroundings, along a straight dusty road where the coal dust seemed to +begrime all the fresh green foliage of bush and tree.</p> + +<p>Then they climbed slowly a long, steep hill, and then had a wonderful +glimpse of the moor stretching away in flat marshes and gentle +undulations of heather-covered slopes. The air was fresh and pungent; +they passed a fir wood, then some coverts, and at last turned into a +real country lane which led them slowly down to some tall iron gates +flanked by a high brick wall. Through the gates they sped up a short +avenue of beeches, and then swept round before the old red brick house.</p> + +<p>Very sunny and homey it looked that morning. The lawn in front wanted +mowing, the flower-beds were untidy and overgrown, the drive beginning +to show weeds in great patches over it. But the house stood serene and +sweet. A white jasmine was just coming out and overhung the porch. +Japonica was framing the lower windows, and an ancient magnolia mounted +nearly to the roof on one side of the house.</p> + +<p>Graham had the keys, and unlocked the door himself as there was no +caretaker.</p> + +<p>The hall was broad and roomy, the oak staircase went up from it at the +back. There was a high dado of oak panelling round the hall. Out of it +on one side spread a long drawing-room with five windows. Behind it a +comfortable smoking-room overlooking a side Dutch garden with tiled +paths. On the other side of the hall was the dining-room, a similar +size to the drawing-room, with the same five windows, and behind +that a very pleasant morning-room which opened on one side into a +conservatory, and looked out at the back upon a rose garden.</p> + +<p>Sara was delighted with this room.</p> + +<p>"I know some people do not care to be in a room next to a conservatory, +but I love it. I remember we had a room at my old home like this, and I +remember as a child how I loved the scent of the heliotrope and lemon +verbena that grew in it."</p> + +<p>Then they went out and looked over the kitchen premises which were +rather extensive, but all in good repair. True was anxious to explore +the garden, but Graham said that Sara must see the rest of the house +first. The rooms on the next floor were all sunny and spacious. True +pointed out to Sara the one she had chosen for her.</p> + +<p>"You can see the dear little church and village between the hills out +of the window, and the moor is over there too. Don't you like it, Miss +Darling?"</p> + +<p>"I like every room that I see," said Sara, enthusiastically.</p> + +<p>And then they went to the room which had a western outlook, and which +Graham thought would suit his mother for a sitting-room. She said at +once how much she would like it. The top floor contained the nurseries, +and at the back some servants' rooms. True was delighted with the +nurseries, for they had been papered with a paper illustrating the +Nursery Rhymes, and in one corner cupboard she had found a headless +doll in an old wastepaper basket.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird looked about her with a soft, tremulous smile. She was +wondering if a few years hence, pattering feet and baby voices would be +heard up here from her sitting-room below. And Sara walked through the +rooms, her hand on Graham's arm, and her grey eyes misty with dreamy +hope.</p> + +<p>When the house was thoroughly explored, they went downstairs and +brought cushions and rugs in from the car and spread them in the sunny +drawing-room. Then the luncheon basket was unpacked, and they all did +justice to their meal. Afterwards, Mrs. Laird said she would like +to sit and rest there. Graham had found an old garden chair in the +conservatory, and he brought it in and tucked her up so comfortably in +it, that she had quite a long nap. Whilst she was resting, True was +scampering round the old garden, and Sara and Graham paced the paths +together.</p> + +<p>"Do you like our future home?" he asked her gently. "Knowing how fond +you were of the country and of a garden, I could not bear to think +of bringing you into a town house, and when I at last found this, it +seemed to fit you."</p> + +<p>"It is quite palatial," said Sara, laughing, "but I do like it very +much. I always think houses have their atmosphere, and I am sure this +must have had a happy one."</p> + +<p>"In any case you would soon make it a happy one," said Graham. "Shall I +ever forget your first few weeks at Felstone Corner? What a miserable +atmosphere you came into! An ugly house, comfortless rooms, rough +ignorant servants, my poor mother in the depths of woe, and a rough +surly silent man."</p> + +<p>"No," said Sara, quickly, "a weary sad, patient man, content to +think nothing of his own prospects and happiness, wholly absorbed in +ministering to the wants of his invalid mother. Before I had been a +week with you, I admired you from the bottom of my heart!"</p> + +<p>Graham shook his head, then went on—</p> + +<p>"What changes you wrought! How quietly you went to work, how slowly +but surely you brought sunshine into every dark corner of that house! +I don't know which time I loved best, the summer evenings when I came +home to find you in your cool white gown amongst your beloved flowers +tending and watering them with a look of love upon your face, or the +winter nights when I used to steal upstairs and see you sitting by +my mother's side in the firelight, with your guitar upon your knee, +singing those bewitchingly sweet little songs of yours. I was so afraid +that you would stop when you saw me that sometimes I used to slip out +of my boots at the bottom of the stairs and creep up noiselessly and +sit on the top stair outside my mother's room listening to all of it. +How did you manage to content yourself in those first miserable days?"</p> + +<p>"I was always hoping for better times," said Sara; "and I loved the +lake and the hills and the country. And when once your mother began to +get better, how happy I was!"</p> + +<p>"Would you like to go back there again?" asked Graham.</p> + +<p>Sara shook her head.</p> + +<p>"I don't think I should care to live there. It was a desolate bit of +country, wasn't it? Very beautiful, but no friends are there now. Do +you regret leaving it? Tell me truly, Graham. Does this town life suit +you?"</p> + +<p>"I am getting to enjoy the work. I understand the men much better, and +I think they are getting to understand me. And I see now the principles +which were the mainspring of my cousin's good works. I told you once, +Sara, that I would leave all the religious part of the work to you. I +don't want to do that now."</p> + +<p>Sara looked up at him with sweet earnestness.</p> + +<p>"What a difference that will make to me! Don't you see, Graham, that +having the same aim and object in life, you and I will be drawn much +nearer together than if you went your way and I mine?"</p> + +<p>"I see that you were right, as you always are, when you sent me away +from you."</p> + +<p>Then they wandered round the garden. The long sloping lawn in front +of the house, with its group of old cedars at the farthest end, the +herbaceous borders under the old brick walls, the rose garden, and +the small Dutch garden, and the winding walk through a shrubbery of +rhododendrons and azaleas, all were visited in turn. Sara felt as if +she were in a dream. Once Graham referred to her brother.</p> + +<p>"I pity him, when you have to leave him. What will he do?"</p> + +<p>Sara smiled.</p> + +<p>"He will console himself. He is very fond of May Agnew. I told you +about her, and his only fear is that she does not care for him, but +the other day I discovered that she did. And I quite understand men +marrying again. They become accustomed to women and cannot get on +without them."</p> + +<p>Then she stopped.</p> + +<p>"Don't think I am meaning anything personal."</p> + +<p>"I told you," said Graham, quietly, "that I considered my marriage an +interlude. You ought to have been my first and only wife, Sara. You +know that."</p> + +<p>Sara did not reply. She gazed over the old garden dreamily.</p> + +<p>Graham, seeing her sweet wrapt face, asked her to give him her thoughts.</p> + +<p>"I was resolving to make up to you, if I could, for all your lonely +barren years!"</p> + +<p>Graham caught her in his arms and kissed her.</p> + +<p>"One day with you now has more than compensated me for all those bygone +years," he said.</p> + +<p>And then they were interrupted by True, who wanted to show Sara a +squirrel up a tree. They did not get any more time alone, for the +builder arrived and business was done with him for the rest of the +afternoon. They all returned home in the car in time for tea, having +had a very enjoyable day.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>In the evening, Mrs. Laird asked Sara to sing to them. She willingly +did so, and many of Mrs. Laird's old favourites were asked for. Then +just before Mrs. Laird went to bed she asked for the hymn that had +first touched and quickened her soul. Sara sang it sweetly and softly +as she always did, but with passionate warmth in some parts of it, and +Graham listened entranced. It had new meaning to him now.</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Souls of men, why will ye scatter<br> + Like a crowd of frightened sheep?<br> + Foolish hearts, why will ye wander<br> + From a love so true and deep?'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>When Sara had finished it, he said—</p> + +<p>"We shan't be able to let you go, Sara. I can't think how mother and I +have existed without you all this time."</p> + +<p>"When will you come back?" asked Mrs. Laird.</p> + +<p>"I am going to give her a month to get herself ready: no longer," said +Graham with determination.</p> + +<p>Sara looked up at him with a shake of the head.</p> + +<p>"Give me till June," she said, "the month of June! What do you say to +being married on Midsummer Day? Your builder said he could complete the +repairs and decorations by the beginning of June!"</p> + +<p>"It's too far off."</p> + +<p>"Time will soon remedy that."</p> + +<p>They finally settled upon Sara's date.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Laird retired to bed, and Sara and Graham were alone.</p> + +<p>A little bright fire was in the grate, as the evening was chilly. She +sat in a chair, in unconscious grace, her eyes dreamily and happily +gazing into the red-hot coals. Graham stood warming his back, his dark +eyes fixed upon her.</p> + +<p>Then he spoke slowly—</p> + +<p>"Sara darling, we must get away alone together. I love my mother and +I love the child, but I want you, and you only. I am selfish. I have +always had to see you and talk to you before others, now I want to have +you all to myself. I will not bring you to our home directly after +marriage. Where shall we go?"</p> + +<p>Sara looked up at him and smiled, but her heart beat quickly.</p> + +<p>"I want a honeymoon," he said.</p> + +<p>"Then," said Sara, "let us go back to Felstone, and see the lake once +more. I love it so. And I could see that poor old herb doctor again and +Agnes his daughter."</p> + +<p>"I would want you to see no one but me," said Graham. "I have never +been really with you—never told you half that is in my heart. We will +go back there if you wish. I don't care where it is, as long as we are +together. Do you think I shall make you happy, Sara? Or rather shall I +add to your happiness?"</p> + +<p>His tone was somewhat wistful.</p> + +<p>Sara rose from her seat. Then she turned towards him—</p> + +<p>"You have worked for the happiness of every woman you have come +across," she said with her soft laugh; "do you think that I shall be +your first failure? Oh, Graham, life has had its clouds as well as +sunshine, for both of us, but now that we belong to each other, I feel +that I can weather an eternity of storms if you are by my side."</p> + +<p>And then Graham held her in his strong arms, and was content.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t3"> +THE END<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t4"> +—————————————————————————————<br> +PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BY<br> +WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, LONDON AND BECCLES.<br> +<br> +</p> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 79399 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/79399-h/images/image001.jpg b/79399-h/images/image001.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..03f9c39 --- /dev/null +++ b/79399-h/images/image001.jpg diff --git a/79399-h/images/image002.jpg b/79399-h/images/image002.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8c4d055 --- /dev/null +++ b/79399-h/images/image002.jpg diff --git a/79399-h/images/image003.jpg b/79399-h/images/image003.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c7e7563 --- /dev/null +++ b/79399-h/images/image003.jpg diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c72794 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This book, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. 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