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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 79268 ***
+
+
+
+
+                               A CAT BOOK
+
+                                   BY
+                              E. V. LUCAS
+
+                             ILLUSTRATED BY
+                              PAT SULLIVAN
+                      (_Creator of Felix the Cat_)
+
+                 [Illustration: A cat licking itself clean]
+
+
+                      HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS
+                          NEW YORK AND LONDON
+                                  1927
+
+                PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: A cat holding butter and rejecting a slice of bread]
+
+THE CAT’S DAINTINESS
+
+
+  The cat desirous to be fed
+  Has very little mind for bread.
+
+  At thick or thin, at new or stale,
+  She waves “No, thank you,” with her tail.
+
+  But butter! she would eat a pat,
+  Such is the nature of a cat.
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S GREEDINESS
+
+
+  To get at milk a cat will do
+  A hundred things she oughtn’t to.
+
+  But if it’s cream she wants, why then,
+  She’ll multiply those sins by ten.
+
+[Illustration: A cat holding a small bottle of cream]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S DREAM
+
+
+  The cat (like ourselves) has its favourite dream,
+    And the dream it loves better than all,
+  Is to take the large milk-pail and fill it with cream,
+    Drawn fresh from the cow in the stall.
+
+[Illustration: A cat dreaming of drinking a bucket of cream]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S CLEANLINESS
+
+
+  There’s nothing by a cat desired
+    So little as a tubbing.
+
+  Its tongue does every thing required
+    In scrubbing and in rubbing.
+
+[Illustration: A cat licking itself clean]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S CONSCIENCE
+
+
+  A dog will often steal a bone.
+  But conscience lets him not alone,
+  And by his tail his guilt is known.
+
+  But cats consider theft a game,
+  And, howsoever you may blame,
+  Refuse the slightest sign of shame.
+
+  When food mysteriously goes,
+  The chances are that Pussy knows
+  More than she leads you to suppose.
+
+  And hence no need there is for you,
+  If Puss should lose a meal or two,
+  To feel her pulse and make ado.
+
+[Illustration: A cat holding a roast chicken and being scolded by
+an angel]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S PLAYFULNESS
+
+
+  However you exert your wits
+  To find a plaything meet for kits,
+  You’ll never choose a better thing
+  Than ball of worsted, wool, or string.
+
+  A cotton reel is very well,
+  A bell-rope answers for a spell;
+  But, mark my words, a costly ball
+  Of Berlin wool is best of all.
+
+  They chase it up and down the floor,
+  Unwinding more and more and more,
+  They twist it all about the chair,
+  And bite and knot it everywhere.
+
+  Till what with twist and roll and pull,
+  You can’t distinguish kit from wool,
+  And only with another skein
+  Can knitting be resumed again.
+
+[Illustration: A cat chasing a ball of string]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S CRUELTY
+
+
+  Of all the cruel things there are,
+  A cat is cruellest by far.
+  While other creatures kill outright,
+  To persecute is her delight.
+
+  So when you hear that Pussy’s prey
+  Successfully has got away,
+  You should enthusiastic be,
+  And ask for marmalade at tea.
+
+[Illustration: A cat hitting a mouse using a slingshot]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S FISHFULNESS
+
+
+  Although for milk and mice and birds
+  A cat reserves her choicest words,
+  She makes exception in the case
+  Of herring, haddock, sole, or plaice.
+
+  If breakfast should consist of these,
+  She’ll do her very best to please:
+  She’ll rub against your leg, and purr,
+  And beg of you to notice her.
+
+  This appetite for fish can lead
+  To shocking instances of greed;
+  And goldfish in particular
+  Dislike to be where pussies are.
+
+[Illustration: A cat staring into a bowl of fish]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S SERIOUSNESS
+
+
+  Among the things that kittens hate,
+    A doll comes almost first:
+  ’Tis bad enough to share its plate,
+    To wear its clothes is worst.
+
+  Luxurious or dignified
+    No kitten ever looked,
+  With bonnet strings severely tied,
+    And cloak severely hooked.
+
+[Illustration: An angry cat wearing a hat and bow tie]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S IMPATIENCE
+
+
+  Among the games a Persian cat
+  Declines to play with rapture at—
+  Or join at all except by force—
+  Is acting as its owner’s horse.
+
+  The Persian cat’s one wish is this:
+  To live a life of perfect bliss.
+  And bliss is far away indeed,
+  When children use you as a steed.
+
+[Illustration: A cat being used as a horse]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S FRIENDS
+
+
+  Among the friends that cats possess,
+    Come girls and women first of all
+  Unceasingly will they caress
+    This comfortable animal.
+
+  The man to Puss is also kind,
+    But quite the contrary, the boy,
+  Who can, I grieve to mention, find,
+    In teasing her, acutest joy.
+
+[Illustration: A cat hiding behind a barrel looking at a boy]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S ENEMIES
+
+
+  Among the cat’s persistent foes,
+    The dog deserves the foremost place:
+  The moment Puss is seen, off goes
+    The dog in ever-zealous chase.
+
+  And cockatoos and parrots hate
+    The cat, with all their strength of beak.
+  And magpies never hesitate
+    To call her coward, thief and sneak.
+
+[Illustration: A cat being chased by a dog]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS
+
+
+  A kitten need not be a dunce,
+    Nor specially absurd,
+  To see no difference at once
+    Between a bee and bird.
+
+  It has to learn by slow degrees
+    That, though they both have wings,
+  There’s far too little meat on bees,
+    And far too many stings.
+
+[Illustration: A cat being chased by a bee]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S MASTERFULNESS
+
+
+  The hungry child intent to feed
+    Is well advised to hide,
+  For pussy-cats beset by greed
+    Are not to be denied.
+
+  Suppose the slice of cake is big,
+    Suppose the child’s a mite,
+  With all the ardour of the pig
+    They’ll ply their appetite.
+
+  One cat alone could be withstood,
+    The child could win the day;
+  With two to one it’s little good
+    To try to get away.
+
+[Illustration: A cat eating a child’s meal]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S SLEEPLESSNESS
+
+
+  By nature’s laws
+    The dog bow-wows,
+  The ass hee-haws,
+    The cat miaous.
+
+  The worst miaous
+    Occur at night
+  When cats carouse
+    With all their might.
+
+  A cat miaous
+  Upon the tiles,
+  In twenty thousand different styles.
+
+[Illustration: A cat on a roof caterwauling]
+
+
+
+
+THE CAT’S FUTURE
+
+
+  The dog is really useful, for he helps to guard the house,
+    And he’ll carry your umbrella or your glove;
+  But a cat does simply nothing save to catch the luckless mouse,
+    Which no one could account an act of love.
+
+  In exchange for cream and butter and the other things she loots,
+    ’Twould be a just and proper thing indeed
+  To persuade our friend the Pussy to put polish on our boots;
+    And—instead of midnight carolling—to read.
+
+[Illustration: A cat wearing a halo and shining a shoe]
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 79268 ***