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diff --git a/old/welnd10.txt b/old/welnd10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4f54f61 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/welnd10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9573 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Etext of Wieland, by Charles Brockden Brown + + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +WIELAND; OR THE TRANSFORMATION +An American Tale + + + + + +by Charles Brockden Brown + + + + +From Virtue's blissful paths away +The double-tongued are sure to stray; +Good is a forth-right journey still, +And mazy paths but lead to ill. + + + +Advertisement. + + +The following Work is delivered to the world as the first of +a series of performances, which the favorable reception of this +will induce the Writer to publish. His purpose is neither +selfish nor temporary, but aims at the illustration of some +important branches of the moral constitution of man. Whether +this tale will be classed with the ordinary or frivolous sources +of amusement, or be ranked with the few productions whose +usefulness secures to them a lasting reputation, the reader must +be permitted to decide. + +The incidents related are extraordinary and rare. Some of +them, perhaps, approach as nearly to the nature of miracles as +can be done by that which is not truly miraculous. It is hoped +that intelligent readers will not disapprove of the manner in +which appearances are solved, but that the solution will be +found to correspond with the known principles of human nature. +The power which the principal person is said to possess can +scarcely be denied to be real. It must be acknowledged to be +extremely rare; but no fact, equally uncommon, is supported by +the same strength of historical evidence. + +Some readers may think the conduct of the younger Wieland +impossible. In support of its possibility the Writer must +appeal to Physicians and to men conversant with the latent +springs and occasional perversions of the human mind. It will +not be objected that the instances of similar delusion are rare, +because it is the business of moral painters to exhibit their +subject in its most instructive and memorable forms. If history +furnishes one parallel fact, it is a sufficient vindication of +the Writer; but most readers will probably recollect an +authentic case, remarkably similar to that of Wieland. + +It will be necessary to add, that this narrative is +addressed, in an epistolary form, by the Lady whose story it +contains, to a small number of friends, whose curiosity, with +regard to it, had been greatly awakened. It may likewise be +mentioned, that these events took place between the conclusion +of the French and the beginning of the revolutionary war. The +memoirs of Carwin, alluded to at the conclusion of the work, +will be published or suppressed according to the reception which +is given to the present attempt. + +C. B. B. +September 3, 1798. + + + +Chapter I + + +I feel little reluctance in complying with your request. You +know not fully the cause of my sorrows. You are a stranger to +the depth of my distresses. Hence your efforts at consolation +must necessarily fail. Yet the tale that I am going to tell is +not intended as a claim upon your sympathy. In the midst of my +despair, I do not disdain to contribute what little I can to the +benefit of mankind. I acknowledge your right to be informed of +the events that have lately happened in my family. Make what +use of the tale you shall think proper. If it be communicated +to the world, it will inculcate the duty of avoiding deceit. It +will exemplify the force of early impressions, and show the +immeasurable evils that flow from an erroneous or imperfect +discipline. + +My state is not destitute of tranquillity. The sentiment +that dictates my feelings is not hope. Futurity has no power +over my thoughts. To all that is to come I am perfectly +indifferent. With regard to myself, I have nothing more to +fear. Fate has done its worst. Henceforth, I am callous to +misfortune. + +I address no supplication to the Deity. The power that +governs the course of human affairs has chosen his path. The +decree that ascertained the condition of my life, admits of no +recal. No doubt it squares with the maxims of eternal equity. +That is neither to be questioned nor denied by me. It suffices +that the past is exempt from mutation. The storm that tore up +our happiness, and changed into dreariness and desert the +blooming scene of our existence, is lulled into grim repose; but +not until the victim was transfixed and mangled; till every +obstacle was dissipated by its rage; till every remnant of good +was wrested from our grasp and exterminated. + +How will your wonder, and that of your companions, be excited +by my story! Every sentiment will yield to your amazement. If +my testimony were without corroborations, you would reject it as +incredible. The experience of no human being can furnish a +parallel: That I, beyond the rest of mankind, should be +reserved for a destiny without alleviation, and without example! +Listen to my narrative, and then say what it is that has made me +deserve to be placed on this dreadful eminence, if, indeed, +every faculty be not suspended in wonder that I am still alive, +and am able to relate it. +My father's ancestry was noble on the paternal side; but his +mother was the daughter of a merchant. My grand-father was a +younger brother, and a native of Saxony. He was placed, when he +had reached the suitable age, at a German college. During the +vacations, he employed himself in traversing the neighbouring +territory. On one occasion it was his fortune to visit Hamburg. +He formed an acquaintance with Leonard Weise, a merchant of that +city, and was a frequent guest at his house. The merchant had +an only daughter, for whom his guest speedily contracted an +affection; and, in spite of parental menaces and prohibitions, +he, in due season, became her husband. + +By this act he mortally offended his relations. +Thenceforward he was entirely disowned and rejected by them. +They refused to contribute any thing to his support. All +intercourse ceased, and he received from them merely that +treatment to which an absolute stranger, or detested enemy, +would be entitled. + +He found an asylum in the house of his new father, whose +temper was kind, and whose pride was flattered by this alliance. +The nobility of his birth was put in the balance against his +poverty. Weise conceived himself, on the whole, to have acted +with the highest discretion, in thus disposing of his child. My +grand-father found it incumbent on him to search out some mode +of independent subsistence. His youth had been eagerly devoted +to literature and music. These had hitherto been cultivated +merely as sources of amusement. They were now converted into +the means of gain. At this period there were few works of taste +in the Saxon dialect. My ancestor may be considered as the +founder of the German Theatre. The modern poet of the same name +is sprung from the same family, and, perhaps, surpasses but +little, in the fruitfulness of his invention, or the soundness +of his taste, the elder Wieland. His life was spent in the +composition of sonatas and dramatic pieces. They were not +unpopular, but merely afforded him a scanty subsistence. He +died in the bloom of his life, and was quickly followed to the +grave by his wife. Their only child was taken under the +protection of the merchant. At an early age he was apprenticed +to a London trader, and passed seven years of mercantile +servitude. + +My father was not fortunate in the character of him under +whose care he was now placed. He was treated with rigor, and +full employment was provided for every hour of his time. His +duties were laborious and mechanical. He had been educated with +a view to this profession, and, therefore, was not tormented +with unsatisfied desires. He did not hold his present +occupations in abhorrence, because they withheld him from paths +more flowery and more smooth, but he found in unintermitted +labour, and in the sternness of his master, sufficient occasions +for discontent. No opportunities of recreation were allowed +him. He spent all his time pent up in a gloomy apartment, or +traversing narrow and crowded streets. His food was coarse, and +his lodging humble. +His heart gradually contracted a habit of morose and gloomy +reflection. He could not accurately define what was wanting to +his happiness. He was not tortured by comparisons drawn between +his own situation and that of others. His state was such as +suited his age and his views as to fortune. He did not imagine +himself treated with extraordinary or unjustifiable rigor. In +this respect he supposed the condition of others, bound like +himself to mercantile service, to resemble his own; yet every +engagement was irksome, and every hour tedious in its lapse. + +In this state of mind he chanced to light upon a book written +by one of the teachers of the Albigenses, or French Protestants. +He entertained no relish for books, and was wholly unconscious +of any power they possessed to delight or instruct. This volume +had lain for years in a corner of his garret, half buried in +dust and rubbish. He had marked it as it lay; had thrown it, as +his occasions required, from one spot to another; but had felt +no inclination to examine its contents, or even to inquire what +was the subject of which it treated. + +One Sunday afternoon, being induced to retire for a few +minutes to his garret, his eye was attracted by a page of this +book, which, by some accident, had been opened and placed full +in his view. He was seated on the edge of his bed, and was +employed in repairing a rent in some part of his clothes. His +eyes were not confined to his work, but occasionally wandering, +lighted at length upon the page. The words "Seek and ye shall +find," were those that first offered themselves to his notice. +His curiosity was roused by these so far as to prompt him to +proceed. As soon as he finished his work, he took up the book +and turned to the first page. The further he read, the more +inducement he found to continue, and he regretted the decline of +the light which obliged him for the present to close it. + +The book contained an exposition of the doctrine of the sect +of Camissards, and an historical account of its origin. His +mind was in a state peculiarly fitted for the reception of +devotional sentiments. The craving which had haunted him was +now supplied with an object. His mind was at no loss for a +theme of meditation. On days of business, he rose at the dawn, +and retired to his chamber not till late at night. He now +supplied himself with candles, and employed his nocturnal and +Sunday hours in studying this book. It, of course, abounded +with allusions to the Bible. All its conclusions were deduced +from the sacred text. This was the fountain, beyond which it +was unnecessary to trace the stream of religious truth; but it +was his duty to trace it thus far. + +A Bible was easily procured, and he ardently entered on the +study of it. His understanding had received a particular +direction. All his reveries were fashioned in the same mould. +His progress towards the formation of his creed was rapid. +Every fact and sentiment in this book were viewed through a +medium which the writings of the Camissard apostle had +suggested. His constructions of the text were hasty, and formed +on a narrow scale. Every thing was viewed in a disconnected +position. One action and one precept were not employed to +illustrate and restrict the meaning of another. Hence arose a +thousand scruples to which he had hitherto been a stranger. He +was alternately agitated by fear and by ecstacy. He imagined +himself beset by the snares of a spiritual foe, and that his +security lay in ceaseless watchfulness and prayer. + +His morals, which had never been loose, were now modelled by +a stricter standard. The empire of religious duty extended +itself to his looks, gestures, and phrases. All levities of +speech, and negligences of behaviour, were proscribed. His air +was mournful and contemplative. He laboured to keep alive a +sentiment of fear, and a belief of the awe-creating presence of +the Deity. Ideas foreign to this were sedulously excluded. To +suffer their intrusion was a crime against the Divine Majesty +inexpiable but by days and weeks of the keenest agonies. + +No material variation had occurred in the lapse of two years. +Every day confirmed him in his present modes of thinking and +acting. It was to be expected that the tide of his emotions +would sometimes recede, that intervals of despondency and doubt +would occur; but these gradually were more rare, and of shorter +duration; and he, at last, arrived at a state considerably +uniform in this respect. + +His apprenticeship was now almost expired. On his arrival of +age he became entitled, by the will of my grand-father, to a +small sum. This sum would hardly suffice to set him afloat as +a trader in his present situation, and he had nothing to expect +from the generosity of his master. Residence in England had, +besides, become almost impossible, on account of his religious +tenets. In addition to these motives for seeking a new +habitation, there was another of the most imperious and +irresistable necessity. He had imbibed an opinion that it was +his duty to disseminate the truths of the gospel among the +unbelieving nations. He was terrified at first by the perils +and hardships to which the life of a missionary is exposed. +This cowardice made him diligent in the invention of objections +and excuses; but he found it impossible wholly to shake off the +belief that such was the injunction of his duty. The belief, +after every new conflict with his passions, acquired new +strength; and, at length, he formed a resolution of complying +with what he deemed the will of heaven. + +The North-American Indians naturally presented themselves as +the first objects for this species of benevolence. As soon as +his servitude expired, he converted his little fortune into +money, and embarked for Philadelphia. Here his fears were +revived, and a nearer survey of savage manners once more shook +his resolution. For a while he relinquished his purpose, and +purchasing a farm on Schuylkill, within a few miles of the city, +set himself down to the cultivation of it. The cheapness of +land, and the service of African slaves, which were then in +general use, gave him who was poor in Europe all the advantages +of wealth. He passed fourteen years in a thrifty and laborious +manner. In this time new objects, new employments, and new +associates appeared to have nearly obliterated the devout +impressions of his youth. He now became acquainted with a woman +of a meek and quiet disposition, and of slender acquirements +like himself. He proffered his hand and was accepted. + +His previous industry had now enabled him to dispense with +personal labour, and direct attention to his own concerns. He +enjoyed leisure, and was visited afresh by devotional +contemplation. The reading of the scriptures, and other +religious books, became once more his favorite employment. His +ancient belief relative to the conversion of the savage tribes, +was revived with uncommon energy. To the former obstacles were +now added the pleadings of parental and conjugal love. The +struggle was long and vehement; but his sense of duty would not +be stifled or enfeebled, and finally triumphed over every +impediment. + +His efforts were attended with no permanent success. His +exhortations had sometimes a temporary power, but more +frequently were repelled with insult and derision. In pursuit +of this object he encountered the most imminent perils, and +underwent incredible fatigues, hunger, sickness, and solitude. +The licence of savage passion, and the artifices of his depraved +countrymen, all opposed themselves to his progress. His courage +did not forsake him till there appeared no reasonable ground to +hope for success. He desisted not till his heart was relieved +from the supposed obligation to persevere. With his +constitution somewhat decayed, he at length returned to his +family. An interval of tranquillity succeeded. He was frugal, +regular, and strict in the performance of domestic duties. He +allied himself with no sect, because he perfectly agreed with +none. Social worship is that by which they are all +distinguished; but this article found no place in his creed. He +rigidly interpreted that precept which enjoins us, when we +worship, to retire into solitude, and shut out every species of +society. According to him devotion was not only a silent +office, but must be performed alone. An hour at noon, and an +hour at midnight were thus appropriated. + +At the distance of three hundred yards from his house, on the +top of a rock whose sides were steep, rugged, and encumbered +with dwarf cedars and stony asperities, he built what to a +common eye would have seemed a summer-house. The eastern verge +of this precipice was sixty feet above the river which flowed at +its foot. The view before it consisted of a transparent +current, fluctuating and rippling in a rocky channel, and +bounded by a rising scene of cornfields and orchards. The +edifice was slight and airy. It was no more than a circular +area, twelve feet in diameter, whose flooring was the rock, +cleared of moss and shrubs, and exactly levelled, edged by +twelve Tuscan columns, and covered by an undulating dome. My +father furnished the dimensions and outlines, but allowed the +artist whom he employed to complete the structure on his own +plan. It was without seat, table, or ornament of any kind. + +This was the temple of his Deity. Twice in twenty-four hours +he repaired hither, unaccompanied by any human being. Nothing +but physical inability to move was allowed to obstruct or +postpone this visit. He did not exact from his family +compliance with his example. Few men, equally sincere in their +faith, were as sparing in their censures and restrictions, with +respect to the conduct of others, as my father. The character +of my mother was no less devout; but her education had +habituated her to a different mode of worship. The loneliness +of their dwelling prevented her from joining any established +congregation; but she was punctual in the offices of prayer, and +in the performance of hymns to her Saviour, after the manner of +the disciples of Zinzendorf. My father refused to interfere in +her arrangements. His own system was embraced not, accurately +speaking, because it was the best, but because it had been +expressly prescribed to him. Other modes, if practised by other +persons, might be equally acceptable. + +His deportment to others was full of charity and mildness. +A sadness perpetually overspread his features, but was unmingled +with sternness or discontent. The tones of his voice, his +gestures, his steps were all in tranquil unison. His conduct +was characterised by a certain forbearance and humility, which +secured the esteem of those to whom his tenets were most +obnoxious. They might call him a fanatic and a dreamer, but +they could not deny their veneration to his invincible candour +and invariable integrity. His own belief of rectitude was the +foundation of his happiness. This, however, was destined to +find an end. + +Suddenly the sadness that constantly attended him was +deepened. Sighs, and even tears, sometimes escaped him. To the +expostulations of his wife he seldom answered any thing. When +he designed to be communicative, he hinted that his peace of +mind was flown, in consequence of deviation from his duty. A +command had been laid upon him, which he had delayed to perform. +He felt as if a certain period of hesitation and reluctance had +been allowed him, but that this period was passed. He was no +longer permitted to obey. The duty assigned to him was +transferred, in consequence of his disobedience, to another, and +all that remained was to endure the penalty. + +He did not describe this penalty. It appeared to be nothing +more for some time than a sense of wrong. This was sufficiently +acute, and was aggravated by the belief that his offence was +incapable of expiation. No one could contemplate the agonies +which he seemed to suffer without the deepest compassion. Time, +instead of lightening the burthen, appeared to add to it. At +length he hinted to his wife, that his end was near. His +imagination did not prefigure the mode or the time of his +decease, but was fraught with an incurable persuasion that his +death was at hand. He was likewise haunted by the belief that +the kind of death that awaited him was strange and terrible. +His anticipations were thus far vague and indefinite; but they +sufficed to poison every moment of his being, and devote him to +ceaseless anguish. + + + +Chapter II + + +Early in the morning of a sultry day in August, he left +Mettingen, to go to the city. He had seldom passed a day from +home since his return from the shores of the Ohio. Some urgent +engagements at this time existed, which would not admit of +further delay. He returned in the evening, but appeared to be +greatly oppressed with fatigue. His silence and dejection were +likewise in a more than ordinary degree conspicuous. My +mother's brother, whose profession was that of a surgeon, +chanced to spend this night at our house. It was from him that +I have frequently received an exact account of the mournful +catastrophe that followed. + +As the evening advanced, my father's inquietudes increased. +He sat with his family as usual, but took no part in their +conversation. He appeared fully engrossed by his own +reflections. Occasionally his countenance exhibited tokens of +alarm; he gazed stedfastly and wildly at the ceiling; and the +exertions of his companions were scarcely sufficient to +interrupt his reverie. On recovering from these fits, he +expressed no surprize; but pressing his hand to his head, +complained, in a tremulous and terrified tone, that his brain +was scorched to cinders. He would then betray marks of +insupportable anxiety. + +My uncle perceived, by his pulse, that he was indisposed, but +in no alarming degree, and ascribed appearances chiefly to the +workings of his mind. He exhorted him to recollection and +composure, but in vain. At the hour of repose he readily +retired to his chamber. At the persuasion of my mother he even +undressed and went to bed. Nothing could abate his +restlessness. He checked her tender expostulations with some +sternness. "Be silent," said he, "for that which I feel there +is but one cure, and that will shortly come. You can help me +nothing. Look to your own condition, and pray to God to +strengthen you under the calamities that await you." "What am +I to fear?" she answered. "What terrible disaster is it that +you think of?" "Peace--as yet I know it not myself, but come it +will, and shortly." She repeated her inquiries and doubts; but +he suddenly put an end to the discourse, by a stern command to +be silent. + +She had never before known him in this mood. Hitherto all +was benign in his deportment. Her heart was pierced with sorrow +at the contemplation of this change. She was utterly unable to +account for it, or to figure to herself the species of disaster +that was menaced. + +Contrary to custom, the lamp, instead of being placed on the +hearth, was left upon the table. Over it against the wall there +hung a small clock, so contrived as to strike a very hard stroke +at the end of every sixth hour. That which was now approaching +was the signal for retiring to the fane at which he addressed +his devotions. Long habit had occasioned him to be always awake +at this hour, and the toll was instantly obeyed. + +Now frequent and anxious glances were cast at the clock. Not +a single movement of the index appeared to escape his notice. +As the hour verged towards twelve his anxiety visibly augmented. +The trepidations of my mother kept pace with those of her +husband; but she was intimidated into silence. All that was +left to her was to watch every change of his features, and give +vent to her sympathy in tears. + +At length the hour was spent, and the clock tolled. The +sound appeared to communicate a shock to every part of my +father's frame. He rose immediately, and threw over himself a +loose gown. Even this office was performed with difficulty, for +his joints trembled, and his teeth chattered with dismay. At +this hour his duty called him to the rock, and my mother +naturally concluded that it was thither he intended to repair. +Yet these incidents were so uncommon, as to fill her with +astonishment and foreboding. She saw him leave the room, and +heard his steps as they hastily descended the stairs. She half +resolved to rise and pursue him, but the wildness of the scheme +quickly suggested itself. He was going to a place whither no +power on earth could induce him to suffer an attendant. + +The window of her chamber looked toward the rock. The +atmosphere was clear and calm, but the edifice could not be +discovered at that distance through the dusk. My mother's +anxiety would not allow her to remain where she was. She rose, +and seated herself at the window. She strained her sight to get +a view of the dome, and of the path that led to it. The first +painted itself with sufficient distinctness on her fancy, but +was undistinguishable by the eye from the rocky mass on which it +was erected. The second could be imperfectly seen; but her +husband had already passed, or had taken a different direction. + +What was it that she feared? Some disaster impended over her +husband or herself. He had predicted evils, but professed +himself ignorant of what nature they were. When were they to +come? Was this night, or this hour to witness the +accomplishment? She was tortured with impatience, and +uncertainty. All her fears were at present linked to his +person, and she gazed at the clock, with nearly as much +eagerness as my father had done, in expectation of the next +hour. + +An half hour passed away in this state of suspence. Her eyes +were fixed upon the rock; suddenly it was illuminated. A light +proceeding from the edifice, made every part of the scene +visible. A gleam diffused itself over the intermediate space, +and instantly a loud report, like the explosion of a mine, +followed. She uttered an involuntary shriek, but the new sounds +that greeted her ear, quickly conquered her surprise. They were +piercing shrieks, and uttered without intermission. The gleams +which had diffused themselves far and wide were in a moment +withdrawn, but the interior of the edifice was filled with rays. + +The first suggestion was that a pistol was discharged, and +that the structure was on fire. She did not allow herself time +to meditate a second thought, but rushed into the entry and +knocked loudly at the door of her brother's chamber. My uncle +had been previously roused by the noise, and instantly flew to +the window. He also imagined what he saw to be fire. The loud +and vehement shrieks which succeeded the first explosion, seemed +to be an invocation of succour. The incident was inexplicable; +but he could not fail to perceive the propriety of hastening to +the spot. He was unbolting the door, when his sister's voice +was heard on the outside conjuring him to come forth. + +He obeyed the summons with all the speed in his power. He +stopped not to question her, but hurried down stairs and across +the meadow which lay between the house and the rock. The +shrieks were no longer to be heard; but a blazing light was +clearly discernible between the columns of the temple. +Irregular steps, hewn in the stone, led him to the summit. On +three sides, this edifice touched the very verge of the cliff. +On the fourth side, which might be regarded as the front, there +was an area of small extent, to which the rude staircase +conducted you. My uncle speedily gained this spot. His +strength was for a moment exhausted by his haste. He paused to +rest himself. Meanwhile he bent the most vigilant attention +towards the object before him. + +Within the columns he beheld what he could no better +describe, than by saying that it resembled a cloud impregnated +with light. It had the brightness of flame, but was without its +upward motion. It did not occupy the whole area, and rose but +a few feet above the floor. No part of the building was on +fire. This appearance was astonishing. He approached the +temple. As he went forward the light retired, and, when he put +his feet within the apartment, utterly vanished. The suddenness +of this transition increased the darkness that succeeded in a +tenfold degree. Fear and wonder rendered him powerless. An +occurrence like this, in a place assigned to devotion, was +adapted to intimidate the stoutest heart. + +His wandering thoughts were recalled by the groans of one +near him. His sight gradually recovered its power, and he was +able to discern my father stretched on the floor. At that +moment, my mother and servants arrived with a lanthorn, and +enabled my uncle to examine more closely this scene. My father, +when he left the house, besides a loose upper vest and slippers, +wore a shirt and drawers. Now he was naked, his skin throughout +the greater part of his body was scorched and bruised. His +right arm exhibited marks as of having been struck by some heavy +body. His clothes had been removed, and it was not immediately +perceived that they were reduced to ashes. His slippers and his +hair were untouched. + +He was removed to his chamber, and the requisite attention +paid to his wounds, which gradually became more painful. A +mortification speedily shewed itself in the arm, which had been +most hurt. Soon after, the other wounded parts exhibited the +like appearance. + +Immediately subsequent to this disaster, my father seemed +nearly in a state of insensibility. He was passive under every +operation. He scarcely opened his eyes, and was with difficulty +prevailed upon to answer the questions that were put to him. By +his imperfect account, it appeared, that while engaged in silent +orisons, with thoughts full of confusion and anxiety, a faint +gleam suddenly shot athwart the apartment. His fancy +immediately pictured to itself, a person bearing a lamp. It +seemed to come from behind. He was in the act of turning to +examine the visitant, when his right arm received a blow from a +heavy club. At the same instant, a very bright spark was seen +to light upon his clothes. In a moment, the whole was reduced +to ashes. This was the sum of the information which he chose to +give. There was somewhat in his manner that indicated an +imperfect tale. My uncle was inclined to believe that half the +truth had been suppressed. + +Meanwhile, the disease thus wonderfully generated, betrayed +more terrible symptoms. Fever and delirium terminated in +lethargic slumber, which, in the course of two hours, gave place +to death. Yet not till insupportable exhalations and crawling +putrefaction had driven from his chamber and the house every one +whom their duty did not detain. + +Such was the end of my father. None surely was ever more +mysterious. When we recollect his gloomy anticipations and +unconquerable anxiety; the security from human malice which his +character, the place, and the condition of the times, might be +supposed to confer; the purity and cloudlessness of the +atmosphere, which rendered it impossible that lightning was the +cause; what are the conclusions that we must form? + +The prelusive gleam, the blow upon his arm, the fatal spark, +the explosion heard so far, the fiery cloud that environed him, +without detriment to the structure, though composed of +combustible materials, the sudden vanishing of this cloud at my +uncle's approach--what is the inference to be drawn from these +facts? Their truth cannot be doubted. My uncle's testimony is +peculiarly worthy of credit, because no man's temper is more +sceptical, and his belief is unalterably attached to natural +causes. + +I was at this time a child of six years of age. The +impressions that were then made upon me, can never be effaced. +I was ill qualified to judge respecting what was then passing; +but as I advanced in age, and became more fully acquainted with +these facts, they oftener became the subject of my thoughts. +Their resemblance to recent events revived them with new force +in my memory, and made me more anxious to explain them. Was +this the penalty of disobedience? this the stroke of a +vindictive and invisible hand? Is it a fresh proof that the +Divine Ruler interferes in human affairs, meditates an end, +selects, and commissions his agents, and enforces, by +unequivocal sanctions, submission to his will? Or, was it +merely the irregular expansion of the fluid that imparts warmth +to our heart and our blood, caused by the fatigue of the +preceding day, or flowing, by established laws, from the +condition of his thoughts?* + + +*A case, in its symptoms exactly parallel to this, is +published in one of the Journals of Florence. See, likewise, +similar cases reported by Messrs. Merille and Muraire, in the +"Journal de Medicine," for February and May, 1783. The +researches of Maffei and Fontana have thrown some light upon +this subject. + + + +Chapter III + + +The shock which this disastrous occurrence occasioned to my +mother, was the foundation of a disease which carried her, in a +few months, to the grave. My brother and myself were children +at this time, and were now reduced to the condition of orphans. +The property which our parents left was by no means +inconsiderable. It was entrusted to faithful hands, till we +should arrive at a suitable age. Meanwhile, our education was +assigned to a maiden aunt who resided in the city, and whose +tenderness made us in a short time cease to regret that we had +lost a mother. + +The years that succeeded were tranquil and happy. Our lives +were molested by few of those cares that are incident to +childhood. By accident more than design, the indulgence and +yielding temper of our aunt was mingled with resolution and +stedfastness. She seldom deviated into either extreme of rigour +or lenity. Our social pleasures were subject to no unreasonable +restraints. We were instructed in most branches of useful +knowledge, and were saved from the corruption and tyranny of +colleges and boarding-schools. + +Our companions were chiefly selected from the children of our +neighbours. Between one of these and my brother, there quickly +grew the most affectionate intimacy. Her name was Catharine +Pleyel. She was rich, beautiful, and contrived to blend the +most bewitching softness with the most exuberant vivacity. The +tie by which my brother and she were united, seemed to add force +to the love which I bore her, and which was amply returned. +Between her and myself there was every circumstance tending to +produce and foster friendship. Our sex and age were the same. +We lived within sight of each other's abode. Our tempers were +remarkably congenial, and the superintendants of our education +not only prescribed to us the same pursuits, but allowed us to +cultivate them together. + +Every day added strength to the triple bonds that united us. +We gradually withdrew ourselves from the society of others, and +found every moment irksome that was not devoted to each other. +My brother's advance in age made no change in our situation. It +was determined that his profession should be agriculture. His +fortune exempted him from the necessity of personal labour. The +task to be performed by him was nothing more than +superintendance. The skill that was demanded by this was merely +theoretical, and was furnished by casual inspection, or by +closet study. The attention that was paid to this subject did +not seclude him for any long time from us, on whom time had no +other effect than to augment our impatience in the absence of +each other and of him. Our tasks, our walks, our music, were +seldom performed but in each other's company. + +It was easy to see that Catharine and my brother were born +for each other. The passion which they mutually entertained +quickly broke those bounds which extreme youth had set to it; +confessions were made or extorted, and their union was postponed +only till my brother had passed his minority. The previous +lapse of two years was constantly and usefully employed. + +O my brother! But the task I have set myself let me perform +with steadiness. The felicity of that period was marred by no +gloomy anticipations. The future, like the present, was serene. +Time was supposed to have only new delights in store. I mean +not to dwell on previous incidents longer than is necessary to +illustrate or explain the great events that have since happened. +The nuptial day at length arrived. My brother took possession +of the house in which he was born, and here the long protracted +marriage was solemnized. + +My father's property was equally divided between us. A neat +dwelling, situated on the bank of the river, three quarters of +a mile from my brother's, was now occupied by me. These domains +were called, from the name of the first possessor, Mettingen. +I can scarcely account for my refusing to take up my abode with +him, unless it were from a disposition to be an economist of +pleasure. Self-denial, seasonably exercised, is one means of +enhancing our gratifications. I was, beside, desirous of +administering a fund, and regulating an household, of my own. +The short distance allowed us to exchange visits as often as we +pleased. The walk from one mansion to the other was no +undelightful prelude to our interviews. I was sometimes their +visitant, and they, as frequently, were my guests. + +Our education had been modelled by no religious standard. We +were left to the guidance of our own understanding, and the +casual impressions which society might make upon us. My +friend's temper, as well as my own, exempted us from much +anxiety on this account. It must not be supposed that we were +without religion, but with us it was the product of lively +feelings, excited by reflection on our own happiness, and by the +grandeur of external nature. We sought not a basis for our +faith, in the weighing of proofs, and the dissection of creeds. +Our devotion was a mixed and casual sentiment, seldom verbally +expressed, or solicitously sought, or carefully retained. In +the midst of present enjoyment, no thought was bestowed on the +future. As a consolation in calamity religion is dear. But +calamity was yet at a distance, and its only tendency was to +heighten enjoyments which needed not this addition to satisfy +every craving. + +My brother's situation was somewhat different. His +deportment was grave, considerate, and thoughtful. I will not +say whether he was indebted to sublimer views for this +disposition. Human life, in his opinion, was made up of +changeable elements, and the principles of duty were not easily +unfolded. The future, either as anterior, or subsequent to +death, was a scene that required some preparation and provision +to be made for it. These positions we could not deny, but what +distinguished him was a propensity to ruminate on these truths. +The images that visited us were blithsome and gay, but those +with which he was most familiar were of an opposite hue. They +did not generate affliction and fear, but they diffused over his +behaviour a certain air of forethought and sobriety. The +principal effect of this temper was visible in his features and +tones. These, in general, bespoke a sort of thrilling +melancholy. I scarcely ever knew him to laugh. He never +accompanied the lawless mirth of his companions with more than +a smile, but his conduct was the same as ours. + +He partook of our occupations and amusements with a zeal not +less than ours, but of a different kind. The diversity in our +temper was never the parent of discord, and was scarcely a topic +of regret. The scene was variegated, but not tarnished or +disordered by it. It hindered the element in which we moved +from stagnating. Some agitation and concussion is requisite to +the due exercise of human understanding. In his studies, he +pursued an austerer and more arduous path. He was much +conversant with the history of religious opinions, and took +pains to ascertain their validity. He deemed it indispensable +to examine the ground of his belief, to settle the relation +between motives and actions, the criterion of merit, and the +kinds and properties of evidence. + +There was an obvious resemblance between him and my father, +in their conceptions of the importance of certain topics, and in +the light in which the vicissitudes of human life were +accustomed to be viewed. Their characters were similar, but the +mind of the son was enriched by science, and embellished with +literature. + +The temple was no longer assigned to its ancient use. From +an Italian adventurer, who erroneously imagined that he could +find employment for his skill, and sale for his sculptures in +America, my brother had purchased a bust of Cicero. He +professed to have copied this piece from an antique dug up with +his own hands in the environs of Modena. Of the truth of his +assertions we were not qualified to judge; but the marble was +pure and polished, and we were contented to admire the +performance, without waiting for the sanction of connoisseurs. +We hired the same artist to hew a suitable pedestal from a +neighbouring quarry. This was placed in the temple, and the +bust rested upon it. Opposite to this was a harpsichord, +sheltered by a temporary roof from the weather. This was the +place of resort in the evenings of summer. Here we sung, and +talked, and read, and occasionally banqueted. Every joyous and +tender scene most dear to my memory, is connected with this +edifice. Here the performances of our musical and poetical +ancestor were rehearsed. Here my brother's children received +the rudiments of their education; here a thousand conversations, +pregnant with delight and improvement, took place; and here the +social affections were accustomed to expand, and the tear of +delicious sympathy to be shed. + +My brother was an indefatigable student. The authors whom he +read were numerous, but the chief object of his veneration was +Cicero. He was never tired of conning and rehearsing his +productions. To understand them was not sufficient. He was +anxious to discover the gestures and cadences with which they +ought to be delivered. He was very scrupulous in selecting a +true scheme of pronunciation for the Latin tongue, and in +adapting it to the words of his darling writer. His favorite +occupation consisted in embellishing his rhetoric with all the +proprieties of gesticulation and utterance. + +Not contented with this, he was diligent in settling and +restoring the purity of the text. For this end, he collected +all the editions and commentaries that could be procured, and +employed months of severe study in exploring and comparing them. +He never betrayed more satisfaction than when he made a +discovery of this kind. + +It was not till the addition of Henry Pleyel, my friend's +only brother, to our society, that his passion for Roman +eloquence was countenanced and fostered by a sympathy of tastes. +This young man had been some years in Europe. We had separated +at a very early age, and he was now returned to spend the +remainder of his days among us. + +Our circle was greatly enlivened by the accession of a new +member. His conversation abounded with novelty. His gaiety was +almost boisterous, but was capable of yielding to a grave +deportment when the occasion required it. His discernment was +acute, but he was prone to view every object merely as supplying +materials for mirth. His conceptions were ardent but ludicrous, +and his memory, aided, as he honestly acknowledged, by his +invention, was an inexhaustible fund of entertainment. + +His residence was at the same distance below the city as ours +was above, but there seldom passed a day without our being +favoured with a visit. My brother and he were endowed with the +same attachment to the Latin writers; and Pleyel was not behind +his friend in his knowledge of the history and metaphysics of +religion. Their creeds, however, were in many respects +opposite. Where one discovered only confirmations of his faith, +the other could find nothing but reasons for doubt. Moral +necessity, and calvinistic inspiration, were the props on which +my brother thought proper to repose. Pleyel was the champion of +intellectual liberty, and rejected all guidance but that of his +reason. Their discussions were frequent, but, being managed +with candour as well as with skill, they were always listened to +by us with avidity and benefit. + +Pleyel, like his new friends, was fond of music and poetry. +Henceforth our concerts consisted of two violins, an +harpsichord, and three voices. We were frequently reminded how +much happiness depends upon society. This new friend, though, +before his arrival, we were sensible of no vacuity, could not +now be spared. His departure would occasion a void which +nothing could fill, and which would produce insupportable +regret. Even my brother, though his opinions were hourly +assailed, and even the divinity of Cicero contested, was +captivated with his friend, and laid aside some part of his +ancient gravity at Pleyel's approach. + + + +Chapter IV + + +Six years of uninterrupted happiness had rolled away, since +my brother's marriage. The sound of war had been heard, but it +was at such a distance as to enhance our enjoyment by affording +objects of comparison. The Indians were repulsed on the one +side, and Canada was conquered on the other. Revolutions and +battles, however calamitous to those who occupied the scene, +contributed in some sort to our happiness, by agitating our +minds with curiosity, and furnishing causes of patriotic +exultation. Four children, three of whom were of an age to +compensate, by their personal and mental progress, the cares of +which they had been, at a more helpless age, the objects, +exercised my brother's tenderness. The fourth was a charming +babe that promised to display the image of her mother, and +enjoyed perfect health. To these were added a sweet girl +fourteen years old, who was loved by all of us, with an +affection more than parental. + +Her mother's story was a mournful one. She had come hither +from England when this child was an infant, alone, without +friends, and without money. She appeared to have embarked in a +hasty and clandestine manner. She passed three years of +solitude and anguish under my aunt's protection, and died a +martyr to woe; the source of which she could, by no +importunities, be prevailed upon to unfold. Her education and +manners bespoke her to be of no mean birth. Her last moments +were rendered serene, by the assurances she received from my +aunt, that her daughter should experience the same protection +that had been extended to herself. + +On my brother's marriage, it was agreed that she should make +a part of his family. I cannot do justice to the attractions of +this girl. Perhaps the tenderness she excited might partly +originate in her personal resemblance to her mother, whose +character and misfortunes were still fresh in our remembrance. +She was habitually pensive, and this circumstance tended to +remind the spectator of her friendless condition; and yet that +epithet was surely misapplied in this case. This being was +cherished by those with whom she now resided, with unspeakable +fondness. Every exertion was made to enlarge and improve her +mind. Her safety was the object of a solicitude that almost +exceeded the bounds of discretion. Our affection indeed could +scarcely transcend her merits. She never met my eye, or +occurred to my reflections, without exciting a kind of +enthusiasm. Her softness, her intelligence, her equanimity, +never shall I see surpassed. I have often shed tears of +pleasure at her approach, and pressed her to my bosom in an +agony of fondness. + +While every day was adding to the charms of her person, and +the stores of her mind, there occurred an event which threatened +to deprive us of her. An officer of some rank, who had been +disabled by a wound at Quebec, had employed himself, since the +ratification of peace, in travelling through the colonies. He +remained a considerable period at Philadelphia, but was at last +preparing for his departure. No one had been more frequently +honoured with his visits than Mrs. Baynton, a worthy lady with +whom our family were intimate. He went to her house with a view +to perform a farewell visit, and was on the point of taking his +leave, when I and my young friend entered the apartment. It is +impossible to describe the emotions of the stranger, when he +fixed his eyes upon my companion. He was motionless with +surprise. He was unable to conceal his feelings, but sat +silently gazing at the spectacle before him. At length he +turned to Mrs. Baynton, and more by his looks and gestures than +by words, besought her for an explanation of the scene. He +seized the hand of the girl, who, in her turn, was surprised by +his behaviour, and drawing her forward, said in an eager and +faultering tone, Who is she? whence does she come? what is her +name? + +The answers that were given only increased the confusion of +his thoughts. He was successively told, that she was the +daughter of one whose name was Louisa Conway, who arrived among +us at such a time, who sedulously concealed her parentage, and +the motives of her flight, whose incurable griefs had finally +destroyed her, and who had left this child under the protection +of her friends. Having heard the tale, he melted into tears, +eagerly clasped the young lady in his arms, and called himself +her father. When the tumults excited in his breast by this +unlooked-for meeting were somewhat subsided, he gratified our +curiosity by relating the following incidents. + +"Miss Conway was the only daughter of a banker in London, who +discharged towards her every duty of an affectionate father. He +had chanced to fall into her company, had been subdued by her +attractions, had tendered her his hand, and been joyfully +accepted both by parent and child. His wife had given him every +proof of the fondest attachment. Her father, who possessed +immense wealth, treated him with distinguished respect, +liberally supplied his wants, and had made one condition of his +consent to their union, a resolution to take up their abode with +him. + +"They had passed three years of conjugal felicity, which had +been augmented by the birth of this child; when his professional +duty called him into Germany. It was not without an arduous +struggle, that she was persuaded to relinquish the design of +accompanying him through all the toils and perils of war. No +parting was ever more distressful. They strove to alleviate, by +frequent letters, the evils of their lot. Those of his wife, +breathed nothing but anxiety for his safety, and impatience of +his absence. At length, a new arrangement was made, and he was +obliged to repair from Westphalia to Canada. One advantage +attended this change. It afforded him an opportunity of meeting +his family. His wife anticipated this interview, with no less +rapture than himself. He hurried to London, and the moment he +alighted from the stage-coach, ran with all speed to Mr. +Conway's house. + +"It was an house of mourning. His father was overwhelmed +with grief, and incapable of answering his inquiries. The +servants, sorrowful and mute, were equally refractory. He +explored the house, and called on the names of his wife and +daughter, but his summons was fruitless. At length, this new +disaster was explained. Two days before his arrival, his wife's +chamber was found empty. No search, however diligent and +anxious, could trace her steps. No cause could be assigned for +her disappearance. The mother and child had fled away together. + +"New exertions were made, her chamber and cabinets were +ransacked, but no vestige was found serving to inform them as to +the motives of her flight, whether it had been voluntary or +otherwise, and in what corner of the kingdom or of the world she +was concealed. Who shall describe the sorrow and amazement of +the husband? His restlessness, his vicissitudes of hope and +fear, and his ultimate despair? His duty called him to America. +He had been in this city, and had frequently passed the door of +the house in which his wife, at that moment, resided. Her +father had not remitted his exertions to elucidate this painful +mystery, but they had failed. This disappointment hastened his +death; in consequence of which, Louisa's father became possessor +of his immense property." + +This tale was a copious theme of speculation. A thousand +questions were started and discussed in our domestic circle, +respecting the motives that influenced Mrs. Stuart to abandon +her country. It did not appear that her proceeding was +involuntary. We recalled and reviewed every particular that had +fallen under our own observation. By none of these were we +furnished with a clue. Her conduct, after the most rigorous +scrutiny, still remained an impenetrable secret. On a nearer +view, Major Stuart proved himself a man of most amiable +character. His attachment to Louisa appeared hourly to +increase. She was no stranger to the sentiments suitable to her +new character. She could not but readily embrace the scheme +which was proposed to her, to return with her father to England. +This scheme his regard for her induced him, however, to +postpone. Some time was necessary to prepare her for so great +a change and enable her to think without agony of her separation +from us. + +I was not without hopes of prevailing on her father entirely +to relinquish this unwelcome design. Meanwhile, he pursued his +travels through the southern colonies, and his daughter +continued with us. Louisa and my brother frequently received +letters from him, which indicated a mind of no common order. +They were filled with amusing details, and profound reflections. +While here, he often partook of our evening conversations at the +temple; and since his departure, his correspondence had +frequently supplied us with topics of discourse. + +One afternoon in May, the blandness of the air, and +brightness of the verdure, induced us to assemble, earlier than +usual, in the temple. We females were busy at the needle, while +my brother and Pleyel were bandying quotations and syllogisms. +The point discussed was the merit of the oration for Cluentius, +as descriptive, first, of the genius of the speaker; and, +secondly, of the manners of the times. Pleyel laboured to +extenuate both these species of merit, and tasked his ingenuity, +to shew that the orator had embraced a bad cause; or, at least, +a doubtful one. He urged, that to rely on the exaggerations of +an advocate, or to make the picture of a single family a model +from which to sketch the condition of a nation, was absurd. The +controversy was suddenly diverted into a new channel, by a +misquotation. Pleyel accused his companion of saying +"polliciatur" when he should have said "polliceretur." +Nothing would decide the contest, but an appeal to the volume. +My brother was returning to the house for this purpose, when a +servant met him with a letter from Major Stuart. He immediately +returned to read it in our company. + +Besides affectionate compliments to us, and paternal +benedictions on Louisa, his letter contained a description of a +waterfall on the Monongahela. A sudden gust of rain falling, we +were compelled to remove to the house. The storm passed away, +and a radiant moon-light succeeded. There was no motion to +resume our seats in the temple. We therefore remained where we +were, and engaged in sprightly conversation. The letter lately +received naturally suggested the topic. A parallel was drawn +between the cataract there described, and one which Pleyel had +discovered among the Alps of Glarus. In the state of the +former, some particular was mentioned, the truth of which was +questionable. To settle the dispute which thence arose, it was +proposed to have recourse to the letter. My brother searched +for it in his pocket. It was no where to be found. At length, +he remembered to have left it in the temple, and he determined +to go in search of it. His wife, Pleyel, Louisa, and myself, +remained where we were. + +In a few minutes he returned. I was somewhat interested in +the dispute, and was therefore impatient for his return; yet, as +I heard him ascending the stairs, I could not but remark, that +he had executed his intention with remarkable dispatch. My eyes +were fixed upon him on his entrance. Methought he brought with +him looks considerably different from those with which he +departed. Wonder, and a slight portion of anxiety were mingled +in them. His eyes seemed to be in search of some object. They +passed quickly from one person to another, till they rested on +his wife. She was seated in a careless attitude on the sofa, in +the same spot as before. She had the same muslin in her hand, +by which her attention was chiefly engrossed. + +The moment he saw her, his perplexity visibly increased. He +quietly seated himself, and fixing his eyes on the floor, +appeared to be absorbed in meditation. These singularities +suspended the inquiry which I was preparing to make respecting +the letter. In a short time, the company relinquished the +subject which engaged them, and directed their attention to +Wieland. They thought that he only waited for a pause in the +discourse, to produce the letter. The pause was uninterrupted +by him. At length Pleyel said, "Well, I suppose you have found +the letter." + +"No," said he, without any abatement of his gravity, and +looking stedfastly at his wife, "I did not mount the +hill."--"Why not?"--"Catharine, have you not moved from that +spot since I left the room?"--She was affected with the +solemnity of his manner, and laying down her work, answered in +a tone of surprise, "No; Why do you ask that question?"--His +eyes were again fixed upon the floor. and he did not +immediately answer. At length, he said, looking round upon us, +"Is it true that Catharine did not follow me to the hill? That +she did not just now enter the room?"--We assured him, with one +voice, that she had not been absent for a moment, and inquired +into the motive of his questions. + +"Your assurances," said he, "are solemn and unanimous; and +yet I must deny credit to your assertions, or disbelieve the +testimony of my senses, which informed me, when I was half way +up the hill, that Catharine was at the bottom." + +We were confounded at this declaration. Pleyel rallied him +with great levity on his behaviour. He listened to his friend +with calmness, but without any relaxation of features. + +"One thing," said he with emphasis, "is true; either I heard +my wife's voice at the bottom of the hill, or I do not hear your +voice at present." + +"Truly," returned Pleyel, "it is a sad dilemma to which you +have reduced yourself. Certain it is, if our eyes can give us +certainty that your wife has been sitting in that spot during +every moment of your absence. You have heard her voice, you +say, upon the hill. In general, her voice, like her temper, is +all softness. To be heard across the room, she is obliged to +exert herself. While you were gone, if I mistake not, she did +not utter a word. Clara and I had all the talk to ourselves. +Still it may be that she held a whispering conference with you +on the hill; but tell us the particulars." + +"The conference," said he, "was short; and far from being +carried on in a whisper. You know with what intention I left +the house. Half way to the rock, the moon was for a moment +hidden from us by a cloud. I never knew the air to be more +bland and more calm. In this interval I glanced at the temple, +and thought I saw a glimmering between the columns. It was so +faint, that it would not perhaps have been visible, if the moon +had not been shrowded. I looked again, but saw nothing. I +never visit this building alone, or at night, without being +reminded of the fate of my father. There was nothing wonderful +in this appearance; yet it suggested something more than mere +solitude and darkness in the same place would have done. + +"I kept on my way. The images that haunted me were solemn; +and I entertained an imperfect curiosity, but no fear, as to the +nature of this object. I had ascended the hill little more than +half way, when a voice called me from behind. The accents were +clear, distinct, powerful, and were uttered, as I fully +believed, by my wife. Her voice is not commonly so loud. She +has seldom occasion to exert it, but, nevertheless, I have +sometimes heard her call with force and eagerness. If my ear +was not deceived, it was her voice which I heard. + +"Stop, go no further. There is danger in your path." The +suddenness and unexpectedness of this warning, the tone of alarm +with which it was given, and, above all, the persuasion that it +was my wife who spoke, were enough to disconcert and make me +pause. I turned and listened to assure myself that I was not +mistaken. The deepest silence succeeded. At length, I spoke in +my turn. Who calls? is it you, Catharine? I stopped and +presently received an answer. "Yes, it is I; go not up; return +instantly; you are wanted at the house." Still the voice was +Catharine's, and still it proceeded from the foot of the stairs. + +"What could I do? The warning was mysterious. To be uttered +by Catharine at a place, and on an occasion like these, enhanced +the mystery. I could do nothing but obey. Accordingly, I trod +back my steps, expecting that she waited for me at the bottom of +the hill. When I reached the bottom, no one was visible. The +moon-light was once more universal and brilliant, and yet, as +far as I could see no human or moving figure was discernible. +If she had returned to the house, she must have used wondrous +expedition to have passed already beyond the reach of my eye. +I exerted my voice, but in vain. To my repeated exclamations, +no answer was returned. + +"Ruminating on these incidents, I returned hither. There was +no room to doubt that I had heard my wife's voice; attending +incidents were not easily explained; but you now assure me that +nothing extraordinary has happened to urge my return, and that +my wife has not moved from her seat." + +Such was my brother's narrative. It was heard by us with +different emotions. Pleyel did not scruple to regard the whole +as a deception of the senses. Perhaps a voice had been heard; +but Wieland's imagination had misled him in supposing a +resemblance to that of his wife, and giving such a signification +to the sounds. According to his custom he spoke what he +thought. Sometimes, he made it the theme of grave discussion, +but more frequently treated it with ridicule. He did not +believe that sober reasoning would convince his friend, and +gaiety, he thought, was useful to take away the solemnities +which, in a mind like Wieland's, an accident of this kind was +calculated to produce. + +Pleyel proposed to go in search of the letter. He went and +speedily returned, bearing it in his hand. He had found it open +on the pedestal; and neither voice nor visage had risen to +impede his design. + +Catharine was endowed with an uncommon portion of good sense; +but her mind was accessible, on this quarter, to wonder and +panic. That her voice should be thus inexplicably and +unwarrantably assumed, was a source of no small disquietude. +She admitted the plausibility of the arguments by which Pleyel +endeavoured to prove, that this was no more than an auricular +deception; but this conviction was sure to be shaken, when she +turned her eyes upon her husband, and perceived that Pleyel's +logic was far from having produced the same effect upon him. + +As to myself, my attention was engaged by this occurrence. +I could not fail to perceive a shadowy resemblance between it +and my father's death. On the latter event, I had frequently +reflected; my reflections never conducted me to certainty, but +the doubts that existed were not of a tormenting kind. I could +not deny that the event was miraculous, and yet I was invincibly +averse to that method of solution. My wonder was excited by the +inscrutableness of the cause, but my wonder was unmixed with +sorrow or fear. It begat in me a thrilling, and not unpleasing +solemnity. Similar to these were the sensations produced by the +recent adventure. + +But its effect upon my brother's imagination was of chief +moment. All that was desirable was, that it should be regarded +by him with indifference. The worst effect that could flow, was +not indeed very formidable. Yet I could not bear to think that +his senses should be the victims of such delusion. It argued a +diseased condition of his frame, which might show itself +hereafter in more dangerous symptoms. The will is the tool of +the understanding, which must fashion its conclusions on the +notices of sense. If the senses be depraved, it is impossible +to calculate the evils that may flow from the consequent +deductions of the understanding. + +I said, this man is of an ardent and melancholy character. +Those ideas which, in others, are casual or obscure, which are +entertained in moments of abstraction and solitude, and easily +escape when the scene is changed, have obtained an immoveable +hold upon his mind. The conclusions which long habit has +rendered familiar, and, in some sort, palpable to his intellect, +are drawn from the deepest sources. All his actions and +practical sentiments are linked with long and abstruse +deductions from the system of divine government and the laws of +our intellectual constitution. He is, in some respects, an +enthusiast, but is fortified in his belief by innumerable +arguments and subtilties. + +His father's death was always regarded by him as flowing from +a direct and supernatural decree. It visited his meditations +oftener than it did mine. The traces which it left were more +gloomy and permanent. This new incident had a visible effect in +augmenting his gravity. He was less disposed than formerly to +converse and reading. When we sifted his thoughts, they were +generally found to have a relation, more or less direct, with +this incident. It was difficult to ascertain the exact species +of impression which it made upon him. He never introduced the +subject into conversation, and listened with a silent and +half-serious smile to the satirical effusions of Pleyel. + +One evening we chanced to be alone together in the temple. +I seized that opportunity of investigating the state of his +thoughts. After a pause, which he seemed in no wise inclined to +interrupt, I spoke to him--"How almost palpable is this dark; +yet a ray from above would dispel it." "Ay," said Wieland, with +fervor, "not only the physical, but moral night would be +dispelled." "But why," said I, "must the Divine Will address +its precepts to the eye?" He smiled significantly. "True," +said he, "the understanding has other avenues." "You have +never," said I, approaching nearer to the point--"you have never +told me in what way you considered the late extraordinary +incident." "There is no determinate way in which the subject +can be viewed. Here is an effect, but the cause is utterly +inscrutable. To suppose a deception will not do. Such is +possible, but there are twenty other suppositions more probable. +They must all be set aside before we reach that point." "What +are these twenty suppositions?" "It is needless to mention +them. They are only less improbable than Pleyel's. Time may +convert one of them into certainty. Till then it is useless to +expatiate on them." + + + +Chapter V + + +Some time had elapsed when there happened another occurrence, +still more remarkable. Pleyel, on his return from Europe, +brought information of considerable importance to my brother. +My ancestors were noble Saxons, and possessed large domains in +Lusatia. The Prussian wars had destroyed those persons whose +right to these estates precluded my brother's. Pleyel had been +exact in his inquiries, and had discovered that, by the law of +male-primogeniture, my brother's claims were superior to those +of any other person now living. Nothing was wanting but his +presence in that country, and a legal application to establish +this claim. + +Pleyel strenuously recommended this measure. The advantages +he thought attending it were numerous, and it would argue the +utmost folly to neglect them. Contrary to his expectation he +found my brother averse to the scheme. Slight efforts, he, at +first, thought would subdue his reluctance; but he found this +aversion by no means slight. The interest that he took in the +happiness of his friend and his sister, and his own partiality +to the Saxon soil, from which he had likewise sprung, and where +he had spent several years of his youth, made him redouble his +exertions to win Wieland's consent. For this end he employed +every argument that his invention could suggest. He painted, in +attractive colours, the state of manners and government in that +country, the security of civil rights, and the freedom of +religious sentiments. He dwelt on the privileges of wealth and +rank, and drew from the servile condition of one class, an +argument in favor of his scheme, since the revenue and power +annexed to a German principality afford so large a field for +benevolence. The evil flowing from this power, in malignant +hands, was proportioned to the good that would arise from the +virtuous use of it. Hence, Wieland, in forbearing to claim his +own, withheld all the positive felicity that would accrue to his +vassals from his success, and hazarded all the misery that would +redound from a less enlightened proprietor. + +It was easy for my brother to repel these arguments, and to +shew that no spot on the globe enjoyed equal security and +liberty to that which he at present inhabited. That if the +Saxons had nothing to fear from mis-government, the external +causes of havoc and alarm were numerous and manifest. The +recent devastations committed by the Prussians furnished a +specimen of these. The horrors of war would always impend over +them, till Germany were seized and divided by Austrian and +Prussian tyrants; an event which he strongly suspected was at no +great distance. But setting these considerations aside, was it +laudable to grasp at wealth and power even when they were within +our reach? Were not these the two great sources of depravity? +What security had he, that in this change of place and +condition, he should not degenerate into a tyrant and +voluptuary? Power and riches were chiefly to be dreaded on +account of their tendency to deprave the possessor. He held +them in abhorrence, not only as instruments of misery to others, +but to him on whom they were conferred. Besides, riches were +comparative, and was he not rich already? He lived at present +in the bosom of security and luxury. All the instruments of +pleasure, on which his reason or imagination set any value, were +within his reach. But these he must forego, for the sake of +advantages which, whatever were their value, were as yet +uncertain. In pursuit of an imaginary addition to his wealth, +he must reduce himself to poverty, he must exchange present +certainties for what was distant and contingent; for who knows +not that the law is a system of expence, delay and uncertainty? +If he should embrace this scheme, it would lay him under the +necessity of making a voyage to Europe, and remaining for a +certain period, separate from his family. He must undergo the +perils and discomforts of the ocean; he must divest himself of +all domestic pleasures; he must deprive his wife of her +companion, and his children of a father and instructor, and all +for what? For the ambiguous advantages which overgrown wealth +and flagitious tyranny have to bestow? For a precarious +possession in a land of turbulence and war? Advantages, which +will not certainly be gained, and of which the acquisition, if +it were sure, is necessarily distant. + +Pleyel was enamoured of his scheme on account of its +intrinsic benefits, but, likewise, for other reasons. His abode +at Leipsig made that country appear to him like home. He was +connected with this place by many social ties. While there he +had not escaped the amorous contagion. But the lady, though her +heart was impressed in his favor, was compelled to bestow her +hand upon another. Death had removed this impediment, and he +was now invited by the lady herself to return. This he was of +course determined to do, but was anxious to obtain the company +of Wieland; he could not bear to think of an eternal separation +from his present associates. Their interest, he thought, would +be no less promoted by the change than his own. Hence he was +importunate and indefatigable in his arguments and +solicitations. + +He knew that he could not hope for mine or his sister's ready +concurrence in this scheme. Should the subject be mentioned to +us, we should league our efforts against him, and strengthen +that reluctance in Wieland which already was sufficiently +difficult to conquer. He, therefore, anxiously concealed from +us his purpose. If Wieland were previously enlisted in his +cause, he would find it a less difficult task to overcome our +aversion. My brother was silent on this subJect, because he +believed himself in no danger of changing his opinion, and he +was willing to save us from any uneasiness. The mere mention of +such a scheme, and the possibility of his embracing it, he knew, +would considerably impair our tranquillity. + +One day, about three weeks subsequent to the mysterious call, +it was agreed that the family should be my guests. Seldom had +a day been passed by us, of more serene enjoyment. Pleyel had +promised us his company, but we did not see him till the sun had +nearly declined. He brought with him a countenance that +betokened disappointment and vexation. He did not wait for our +inquiries, but immediately explained the cause. Two days before +a packet had arrived from Hamburgh, by which he had flattered +himself with the expectation of receiving letters, but no +letters had arrived. I never saw him so much subdued by an +untoward event. His thoughts were employed in accounting for +the silence of his friends. He was seized with the torments of +jealousy, and suspected nothing less than the infidelity of her +to whom he had devoted his heart. The silence must have been +concerted. Her sickness, or absence, or death, would have +increased the certainty of some one's having written. No +supposition could be formed but that his mistress had grown +indifferent, or that she had transferred her affections to +another. The miscarriage of a letter was hardly within the +reach of possibility. From Leipsig to Hamburgh, and from +Hamburgh hither, the conveyance was exposed to no hazard. + +He had been so long detained in America chiefly in +consequence of Wieland's aversion to the scheme which he +proposed. He now became more impatient than ever to return to +Europe. When he reflected that, by his delays, he had probably +forfeited the affections of his mistress, his sensations +amounted to agony. It only remained, by his speedy departure, +to repair, if possible, or prevent so intolerable an evil. +Already he had half resolved to embark in this very ship which, +he was informed, would set out in a few weeks on her return. + +Meanwhile he determined to make a new attempt to shake the +resolution of Wieland. The evening was somewhat advanced when +he invited the latter to walk abroad with him. The invitation +was accepted, and they left Catharine, Louisa and me, to amuse +ourselves by the best means in our power. During this walk, +Pleyel renewed the subject that was nearest his heart. He +re-urged all his former arguments, and placed them in more +forcible lights. + +They promised to return shortly; but hour after hour passed, +and they made not their appearance. Engaged in sprightly +conversation, it was not till the clock struck twelve that we +were reminded of the lapse of time. The absence of our friends +excited some uneasy apprehensions. We were expressing our +fears, and comparing our conjectures as to what might be the +cause, when they entered together. There were indications in +their countenances that struck me mute. These were unnoticed by +Catharine, who was eager to express her surprize and curiosity +at the length of their walk. As they listened to her, I +remarked that their surprize was not less than ours. They gazed +in silence on each other, and on her. I watched their looks, +but could not understand the emotions that were written in them. + +These appearances diverted Catharine's inquiries into a new +channel. What did they mean, she asked, by their silence, and +by their thus gazing wildly at each other, and at her? Pleyel +profited by this hint, and assuming an air of indifference, +framed some trifling excuse, at the same time darting +significant glances at Wieland, as if to caution him against +disclosing the truth. My brother said nothing, but delivered +himself up to meditation. I likewise was silent, but burned +with impatience to fathom this mystery. Presently my brother +and his wife, and Louisa, returned home. Pleyel proposed, of +his own accord, to be my guest for the night. This +circumstance, in addition to those which preceded, gave new edge +to my wonder. + +As soon as we were left alone, Pleyel's countenance assumed +an air of seriousness, and even consternation, which I had never +before beheld in him. The steps with which he measured the +floor betokened the trouble of his thoughts. My inquiries were +suspended by the hope that he would give me the information that +I wanted without the importunity of questions. I waited some +time, but the confusion of his thoughts appeared in no degree to +abate. At length I mentioned the apprehensions which their +unusual absence had occasioned, and which were increased by +their behaviour since their return, and solicited an +explanation. He stopped when I began to speak, and looked +stedfastly at me. When I had done, he said, to me, in a tone +which faultered through the vehemence of his emotions, "How were +you employed during our absence?" "In turning over the Della +Crusca dictionary, and talking on different subjects; but just +before your entrance, we were tormenting ourselves with omens +and prognosticks relative to your absence." "Catherine was with +you the whole time?" "Yes." "But are you sure?" "Most sure. +She was not absent a moment." He stood, for a time, as if to +assure himself of my sincerity. Then, clinching his hands, and +wildly lifting them above his head, "Lo," cried he, "I have news +to tell you. The Baroness de Stolberg is dead?" + +This was her whom he loved. I was not surprised at the +agitations which he betrayed. "But how was the information +procured? How was the truth of this news connected with the +circumstance of Catharine's remaining in our company?" He was +for some time inattentive to my questions. When he spoke, it +seemed merely a continuation of the reverie into which he had +been plunged. + +"And yet it might be a mere deception. But could both of us +in that case have been deceived? A rare and prodigious +coincidence! Barely not impossible. And yet, if the accent be +oracular--Theresa is dead. No, no," continued he, covering his +face with his hands, and in a tone half broken into sobs, "I +cannot believe it. She has not written, but if she were dead, +the faithful Bertrand would have given me the earliest +information. And yet if he knew his master, he must have easily +guessed at the effect of such tidings. In pity to me he was +silent." + +"Clara, forgive me; to you, this behaviour is mysterious. I +will explain as well as I am able. But say not a word to +Catharine. Her strength of mind is inferior to your's. She +will, besides, have more reason to be startled. She is +Wieland's angel." + +Pleyel proceeded to inform me, for the first time, of the +scheme which he had pressed, with so much earnestness, on my +brother. He enumerated the objections which had been made, and +the industry with which he had endeavoured to confute them. He +mentioned the effect upon his resolutions produced by the +failure of a letter. "During our late walk," continued he, "I +introduced the subject that was nearest my heart. I re-urged +all my former arguments, and placed them in more forcible +lights. Wieland was still refractory. He expatiated on the +perils of wealth and power, on the sacredness of conjugal and +parental duties, and the happiness of mediocrity. + +"No wonder that the time passed, unperceived, away. Our +whole souls were engaged in this cause. Several times we came +to the foot of the rock; as soon as we perceived it, we changed +our course, but never failed to terminate our circuitous and +devious ramble at this spot. At length your brother observed, +"We seem to be led hither by a kind of fatality. Since we are +so near, let us ascend and rest ourselves a while. If you are +not weary of this argument we will resume it there." + +"I tacitly consented. We mounted the stairs, and drawing the +sofa in front of the river, we seated ourselves upon it. I took +up the thread of our discourse where we had dropped it. I +ridiculed his dread of the sea, and his attachment to home. I +kept on in this strain, so congenial with my disposition, for +some time, uninterrupted by him. At length, he said to me, +"Suppose now that I, whom argument has not convinced, should +yield to ridicule, and should agree that your scheme is +eligible; what will you have gained? Nothing. You have other +enemies beside myself to encounter. When you have vanquished +me, your toil has scarcely begun. There are my sister and wife, +with whom it will remain for you to maintain the contest. And +trust me, they are adversaries whom all your force and stratagem +will never subdue." I insinuated that they would model +themselves by his will: that Catharine would think obedience +her duty. He answered, with some quickness, "You mistake. +Their concurrence is indispensable. It is not my custom to +exact sacrifices of this kind. I live to be their protector and +friend, and not their tyrant and foe. If my wife shall deem her +happiness, and that of her children, most consulted by remaining +where she is, here she shall remain." "But," said I, "when she +knows your pleasure, will she not conform to it?" Before my +friend had time to answer this question, a negative was clearly +and distinctly uttered from another quarter. It did not come +from one side or the other, from before us or behind. Whence +then did it come? By whose organs was it fashioned? + +"If any uncertainty had existed with regard to these +particulars, it would have been removed by a deliberate and +equally distinct repetition of the same monosyllable, "No." The +voice was my sister's. It appeared to come from the roof. I +started from my seat. Catharine, exclaimed I, where are you? +No answer was returned. I searched the room, and the area +before it, but in vain. Your brother was motionless in his +seat. I returned to him, and placed myself again by his side. +My astonishment was not less than his." + +"Well," said he, at length, "What think you of this? This is +the self-same voice which I formerly heard; you are now +convinced that my ears were well informed." + +"Yes," said I, "this, it is plain, is no fiction of the +fancy." We again sunk into mutual and thoughtful silence. A +recollection of the hour, and of the length of our absence, made +me at last propose to return. We rose up for this purpose. In +doing this, my mind reverted to the contemplation of my own +condition. "Yes," said I aloud, but without particularly +addressing myself to Wieland, "my resolution is taken. I cannot +hope to prevail with my friends to accompany me. They may doze +away their days on the banks of Schuylkill, but as to me, I go +in the next vessel; I will fly to her presence, and demand the +reason of this extraordinary silence." + +"I had scarcely finished the sentence, when the same +mysterious voice exclaimed, "You shall not go. The seal of +death is on her lips. Her silence is the silence of the tomb." +Think of the effects which accents like these must have had upon +me. I shuddered as I listened. As soon as I recovered from my +first amazement, "Who is it that speaks?" said I, "whence did +you procure these dismal tidings?" I did not wait long for an +answer. "From a source that cannot fail. Be satisfied. She is +dead." You may justly be surprised, that, in the circumstances +in which I heard the tidings, and notwithstanding the mystery +which environed him by whom they were imparted, I could give an +undivided attention to the facts, which were the subject of our +dialogue. I eagerly inquired, when and where did she die? What +was the cause of her death? Was her death absolutely certain? +An answer was returned only to the last of these questions. +"Yes," was pronounced by the same voice; but it now sounded from +a greater distance, and the deepest silence was all the return +made to my subsequent interrogatories. + +"It was my sister's voice; but it could not be uttered by +her; and yet, if not by her, by whom was it uttered? When we +returned hither, and discovered you together, the doubt that had +previously existed was removed. It was manifest that the +intimation came not from her. Yet if not from her, from whom +could it come? Are the circumstances attending the imparting of +this news proof that the tidings are true? God forbid that they +should be true." + +Here Pleyel sunk into anxious silence, and gave me leisure to +ruminate on this inexplicable event. I am at a loss to describe +the sensations that affected me. I am not fearful of shadows. +The tales of apparitions and enchantments did not possess that +power over my belief which could even render them interesting. +I saw nothing in them but ignorance and folly, and was a +stranger even to that terror which is pleasing. But this +incident was different from any that I had ever before known. +Here were proofs of a sensible and intelligent existence, which +could not be denied. Here was information obtained and imparted +by means unquestionably super-human. + +That there are conscious beings, beside ourselves, in +existence, whose modes of activity and information surpass our +own, can scarcely be denied. Is there a glimpse afforded us +into a world of these superior beings? My heart was scarcely +large enough to give admittance to so swelling a thought. An +awe, the sweetest and most solemn that imagination can conceive, +pervaded my whole frame. It forsook me not when I parted from +Pleyel and retired to my chamber. An impulse was given to my +spirits utterly incompatible with sleep. I passed the night +wakeful and full of meditation. I was impressed with the belief +of mysterious, but not of malignant agency. Hitherto nothing +had occurred to persuade me that this airy minister was busy to +evil rather than to good purposes. On the contrary, the idea of +superior virtue had always been associated in my mind with that +of superior power. The warnings that had thus been heard +appeared to have been prompted by beneficent intentions. My +brother had been hindered by this voice from ascending the hill. +He was told that danger lurked in his path, and his obedience to +the intimation had perhaps saved him from a destiny similar to +that of my father. + +Pleyel had been rescued from tormenting uncertainty, and from +the hazards and fatigues of a fruitless voyage, by the same +interposition. It had assured him of the death of his Theresa. + +This woman was then dead. A confirmation of the tidings, if +true, would speedily arrive. Was this confirmation to be +deprecated or desired? By her death, the tie that attached him +to Europe, was taken away. Henceforward every motive would +combine to retain him in his native country, and we were rescued +from the deep regrets that would accompany his hopeless absence +from us. Propitious was the spirit that imparted these tidings. +Propitious he would perhaps have been, if he had been +instrumental in producing, as well as in communicating the +tidings of her death. Propitious to us, the friends of Pleyel, +to whom has thereby been secured the enjoyment of his society; +and not unpropitious to himself; for though this object of his +love be snatched away, is there not another who is able and +willing to console him for her loss? + +Twenty days after this, another vessel arrived from the same +port. In this interval, Pleyel, for the most part, estranged +himself from his old companions. He was become the prey of a +gloomy and unsociable grief. His walks were limited to the bank +of the Delaware. This bank is an artificial one. Reeds and the +river are on one side, and a watery marsh on the other, in that +part which bounded his lands, and which extended from the mouth +of Hollander's creek to that of Schuylkill. No scene can be +imagined less enticing to a lover of the picturesque than this. +The shore is deformed with mud, and incumbered with a forest of +reeds. The fields, in most seasons, are mire; but when they +afford a firm footing, the ditches by which they are bounded and +intersected, are mantled with stagnating green, and emit the +most noxious exhalations. Health is no less a stranger to those +seats than pleasure. Spring and autumn are sure to be +accompanied with agues and bilious remittents. + +The scenes which environed our dwellings at Mettingen +constituted the reverse of this. Schuylkill was here a pure and +translucid current, broken intO wild and ceaseless music by +rocky points, murmuring on a sandy margin, and reflecting on its +surface, banks of all varieties of height and degrees of +declivity. These banks were chequered by patches of dark +verdure and shapeless masses of white marble, and crowned by +copses of cedar, or by the regular magnificence of orchards, +which, at this season, were in blossom, and were prodigal of +odours. The ground which receded from the river was scooped +into valleys and dales. Its beauties were enhanced by the +horticultural skill of my brother, who bedecked this exquisite +assemblage of slopes and risings with every species of vegetable +ornament, from the giant arms of the oak to the clustering +tendrils of the honey-suckle. + +To screen him from the unwholesome airs of his own residence, +it had been proposed to Pleyel to spend the months of spring +with us. He had apparently acquiesced in this proposal; but the +late event induced him to change his purpose. He was only to be +seen by visiting him in his retirements. His gaiety had flown, +and every passion was absorbed in eagerness to procure tidings +from Saxony. I have mentioned the arrival of another vessel +from the Elbe. He descried her early one morning as he was +passing along the skirt of the river. She was easily +recognized, being the ship in which he had performed his first +voyage to Germany. He immediately went on board, but found no +letters directed to him. This omission was, in some degree, +compensated by meeting with an old acquaintance among the +passengers, who had till lately been a resident in Leipsig. +This person put an end to all suspense respecting the fate of +Theresa, by relating the particulars of her death and funeral. + +Thus was the truth of the former intimation attested. No +longer devoured by suspense, the grief of Pleyel was not long in +yielding to the influence of society. He gave himself up once +more to our company. His vivacity had indeed been damped; but +even in this respect he was a more acceptable companion than +formerly, since his seriousness was neither incommunicative nor +sullen. + +These incidents, for a time, occupied all our thoughts. In +me they produced a sentiment not unallied to pleasure, and more +speedily than in the case of my friends were intermixed with +other topics. My brother was particularly affected by them. It +was easy to perceive that most of his meditations were tinctured +from this source. To this was to be ascribed a design in which +his pen was, at this period, engaged, of collecting and +investigating the facts which relate to that mysterious +personage, the Daemon of Socrates. + +My brother's skill in Greek and Roman learning was exceeded +by that of few, and no doubt the world would have accepted a +treatise upon this subject from his hand with avidity; but alas! +this and every other scheme of felicity and honor, were doomed +to sudden blast and hopeless extermination. + + + +Chapter VI + + +I now come to the mention of a person with whose name the +most turbulent sensations are connected. It is with a +shuddering reluctance that I enter on the province of describing +him. Now it is that I begin to perceive the difficulty of the +task which I have undertaken; but it would be weakness to shrink +from it. My blood is congealed: and my fingers are palsied +when I call up his image. Shame upon my cowardly and infirm +heart! Hitherto I have proceeded with some degree of composure, +but now I must pause. I mean not that dire remembrance shall +subdue my courage or baffle my design, but this weakness cannot +be immediately conquered. I must desist for a little while. + +I have taken a few turns in my chamber, and have gathered +strength enough to proceed. Yet have I not projected a task +beyond my power to execute? If thus, on the very threshold of +the scene, my knees faulter and I sink, how shall I support +myself, when I rush into the midst of horrors such as no heart +has hitherto conceived, nor tongue related? I sicken and recoil +at the prospect, and yet my irresolution is momentary. I have +not formed this design upon slight grounds, and though I may at +times pause and hesitate, I will not be finally diverted from +it. + +And thou, O most fatal and potent of mankind, in what terms +shall I describe thee? What words are adequate to the just +delineation of thy character? How shall I detail the means +which rendered the secrecy of thy purposes unfathomable? But I +will not anticipate. Let me recover if possible, a sober +strain. Let me keep down the flood of passion that would render +me precipitate or powerless. Let me stifle the agonies that are +awakened by thy name. Let me, for a time, regard thee as a +being of no terrible attributes. Let me tear myself from +contemplation of the evils of which it is but too certain that +thou wast the author, and limit my view to those harmless +appearances which attended thy entrance on the stage. + +One sunny afternoon, I was standing in the door of my house, +when I marked a person passing close to the edge of the bank +that was in front. His pace was a careless and lingering one, +and had none of that gracefulness and ease which distinguish a +person with certain advantages of education from a clown. His +gait was rustic and aukward. His form was ungainly and +disproportioned. Shoulders broad and square, breast sunken, his +head drooping, his body of uniform breadth, supported by long +and lank legs, were the ingredients of his frame. His garb was +not ill adapted to such a figure. A slouched hat, tarnished by +the weather, a coat of thick grey cloth, cut and wrought, as it +seemed, by a country tailor, blue worsted stockings, and shoes +fastened by thongs, and deeply discoloured by dust, which brush +had never disturbed, constituted his dress. + +There was nothing remarkable in these appearances; they were +frequently to be met with on the road, and in the harvest field. +I cannot tell why I gazed upon them, on this occasion, with more +than ordinary attention, unless it were that such figures were +seldom seen by me, except on the road or field. This lawn was +only traversed by men whose views were directed to the pleasures +of the walk, or the grandeur of the scenery. + +He passed slowly along, frequently pausing, as if to examine +the prospect more deliberately, but never turning his eye +towards the house, so as to allow me a view of his countenance. +Presently, he entered a copse at a small distance, and +disappeared. My eye followed him while he remained in sight. +If his image remained for any duration in my fancy after his +departure, it was because no other object occurred sufficient to +expel it. + +I continued in the same spot for half an hour, vaguely, and +by fits, contemplating the image of this wanderer, and drawing, +from outward appearances, those inferences with respect to the +intellectual history of this person, which experience affords +us. I reflected on the alliance which commonly subsists between +ignorance and the practice of agriculture, and indulged myself +in airy speculations as to the influence of progressive +knowledge in dissolving this alliance, and embodying the dreams +of the poets. I asked why the plough and the hoe might not +become the trade of every human being, and how this trade might +be made conducive to, or, at least, consistent with the +acquisition of wisdom and eloquence. + +Weary with these reflections, I returned to the kitchen to +perform some household office. I had usually but one servant, +and she was a girl about my own age. I was busy near the +chimney, and she was employed near the door of the apartment, +when some one knocked. The door was opened by her, and she was +immediately addressed with "Pry'thee, good girl, canst thou +supply a thirsty man with a glass of buttermilk?" She answered +that there was none in the house. "Aye, but there is some in +the dairy yonder. Thou knowest as well as I, though Hermes +never taught thee, that though every dairy be an house, every +house is not a dairy." To this speech, though she understood +only a part of it, she replied by repeating her assurances, that +she had none to give. "Well then," rejoined the stranger, "for +charity's sweet sake, hand me forth a cup of cold water." The +girl said she would go to the spring and fetch it. "Nay, give +me the cup, and suffer me to help myself. Neither manacled nor +lame, I should merit burial in the maw of carrion crows, if I +laid this task upon thee." She gave him the cup, and he turned +to go to the spring. + +I listened to this dialogue in silence. The words uttered by +the person without, affected me as somewhat singular, but what +chiefly rendered them remarkable, was the tone that accompanied +them. It was wholly new. My brother's voice and Pleyel's were +musical and energetic. I had fondly imagined, that, in this +respect, they were surpassed by none. Now my mistake was +detected. I cannot pretend to communicate the impression that +was made upon me by these accents, or to depict the degree in +which force and sweetness were blended in them. They were +articulated with a distinctness that was unexampled in my +experience. But this was not all. The voice was not only +mellifluent and clear, but the emphasis was so just, and the +modulation so impassioned, that it seemed as if an heart of +stone could not fail of being moved by it. It imparted to me an +emotion altogether involuntary and incontroulable. When he +uttered the words "for charity's sweet sake," I dropped the +cloth that I held in my hand, my heart overflowed with sympathy, +and my eyes with unbidden tears. + +This description will appear to you trifling or incredible. +The importance of these circumstances will be manifested in the +sequel. The manner in which I was affected on this occasion, +was, to my own apprehension, a subject of astonishment. The +tones were indeed such as I never heard before; but that they +should, in an instant, as it were, dissolve me in tears, will +not easily be believed by others, and can scarcely be +comprehended by myself. + +It will be readily supposed that I was somewhat inquisitive +as to the person and demeanour of our visitant. After a +moment's pause, I stepped to the door and looked after him. +Judge my surprize, when I beheld the self-same figure that had +appeared an half hour before upon the bank. My fancy had +conjured up a very different image. A form, and attitude, and +garb, were instantly created worthy to accompany such elocution; +but this person was, in all visible respects, the reverse of +this phantom. Strange as it may seem, I could not speedily +reconcile myself to this disappointment. Instead of returning +to my employment, I threw myself in a chair that was placed +opposite the door, and sunk into a fit of musing. + +My attention was, in a few minutes, recalled by the stranger, +who returned with the empty cup in his hand. I had not thought +of the circumstance, or should certainly have chosen a different +seat. He no sooner shewed himself, than a confused sense of +impropriety, added to the suddenness of the interview, for +which, not having foreseen it, I had made no preparation, threw +me into a state of the most painful embarrassment. He brought +with him a placid brow; but no sooner had he cast his eyes upon +me, than his face was as glowingly suffused as my own. He +placed the cup upon the bench, stammered out thanks, and +retired. + +It was some time before I could recover my wonted composure. +I had snatched a view of the stranger's countenance. The +impression that it made was vivid and indelible. His cheeks +were pallid and lank, his eyes sunken, his forehead overshadowed +by coarse straggling hairs, his teeth large and irregular, +though sound and brilliantly white, and his chin discoloured by +a tetter. His skin was of coarse grain, and sallow hue. Every +feature was wide of beauty, and the outline of his face reminded +you of an inverted cone. + +And yet his forehead, so far as shaggy locks would allow it +to be seen, his eyes lustrously black, and possessing, in the +midst of haggardness, a radiance inexpressibly serene and +potent, and something in the rest of his features, which it +would be in vain to describe, but which served to betoken a mind +of the highest order, were essential ingredients in the +portrait. This, in the effects which immediately flowed from +it, I count among the most extraordinary incidents of my life. +This face, seen for a moment, continued for hours to occupy my +fancy, to the exclusion of almost every other image. I had +purposed to spend the evening with my brother, but I could not +resist the inclination of forming a sketch upon paper of this +memorable visage. Whether my hand was aided by any peculiar +inspiration, or I was deceived by my own fond conceptions, this +portrait, though hastily executed, appeared unexceptionable to +my own taste. + +I placed it at all distances, and in all lights; my eyes were +rivetted upon it. Half the night passed away in wakefulness and +in contemplation of this picture. So flexible, and yet so +stubborn, is the human mind. So obedient to impulses the most +transient and brief, and yet so unalterably observant of the +direction which is given to it! How little did I then foresee +the termination of that chain, of which this may be regarded as +the first link? + +Next day arose in darkness and storm. Torrents of rain fell +during the whole day, attended with incessant thunder, which +reverberated in stunning echoes from the opposite declivity. +The inclemency of the air would not allow me to walk-out. I +had, indeed, no inclination to leave my apartment. I betook +myself to the contemplation of this portrait, whose attractions +time had rather enhanced than diminished. I laid aside my usual +occupations, and seating myself at a window, consumed the day in +alternately looking out upon the storm, and gazing at the +picture which lay upon a table before me. You will, perhaps, +deem this conduct somewhat singular, and ascribe it to certain +peculiarities of temper. I am not aware of any such +peculiarities. I can account for my devotion to this image no +otherwise, than by supposing that its properties were rare and +prodigious. Perhaps you will suspect that such were the first +inroads of a passion incident to every female heart, and which +frequently gains a footing by means even more slight, and more +improbable than these. I shall not controvert the +reasonableness of the suspicion, but leave you at liberty to +draw, from my narrative, what conclusions you please. + +Night at length returned, and the storm ceased. The air was +once more clear and calm, and bore an affecting contrast to that +uproar of the elements by which it had been preceded. I spent +the darksome hours, as I spent the day, contemplative and seated +at the window. Why was my mind absorbed in thoughts ominous and +dreary? Why did my bosom heave with sighs, and my eyes overflow +with tears? Was the tempest that had just past a signal of the +ruin which impended over me? My soul fondly dwelt upon the +images of my brother and his children, yet they only increased +the mournfulness of my contemplations. The smiles of the +charming babes were as bland as formerly. The same dignity sat +on the brow of their father, and yet I thought of them with +anguish. Something whispered that the happiness we at present +enjoyed was set on mutable foundations. Death must happen to +all. Whether our felicity was to be subverted by it to-morrow, +or whether it was ordained that we should lay down our heads +full of years and of honor, was a question that no human being +could solve. At other times, these ideas seldom intruded. I +either forbore to reflect upon the destiny that is reserved for +all men, or the reflection was mixed up with images that +disrobed it of terror; but now the uncertainty of life occurred +to me without any of its usual and alleviating accompaniments. +I said to myself, we must die. Sooner or later, we must +disappear for ever from the face of the earth. Whatever be the +links that hold us to life, they must be broken. This scene of +existence is, in all its parts, calamitous. The greater number +is oppressed with immediate evils, and those, the tide of whose +fortunes is full, how small is their portion of enjoyment, since +they know that it will terminate. + +For some time I indulged myself, without reluctance, in these +gloomy thoughts; but at length, the dejection which they +produced became insupportably painful. I endeavoured to +dissipate it with music. I had all my grand-father's melody as +well as poetry by rote. I now lighted by chance on a ballad, +which commemorated the fate of a German Cavalier, who fell at +the siege of Nice under Godfrey of Bouillon. My choice was +unfortunate, for the scenes of violence and carnage which were +here wildly but forcibly pourtrayed, only suggested to my +thoughts a new topic in the horrors of war. + +I sought refuge, but ineffectually, in sleep. My mind was +thronged by vivid, but confused images, and no effort that I +made was sufficient to drive them away. In this situation I +heard the clock, which hung in the room, give the signal for +twelve. It was the same instrument which formerly hung in my +father's chamber, and which, on account of its being his +workmanship, was regarded, by every one of our family, with +veneration. It had fallen to me, in the division of his +property, and was placed in this asylum. The sound awakened a +series of reflections, respecting his death. I was not allowed +to pursue them; for scarcely had the vibrations ceased, when my +attention was attracted by a whisper, which, at first, appeared +to proceed from lips that were laid close to my ear. + +No wonder that a circumstance like this startled me. In the +first impulse of my terror, I uttered a slight scream, and +shrunk to the opposite side of the bed. In a moment, however, +I recovered from my trepidation. I was habitually indifferent +to all the causes of fear, by which the majority are afflicted. +I entertained no apprehension of either ghosts or robbers. Our +security had never been molested by either, and I made use of no +means to prevent or counterwork their machinations. My +tranquillity, on this occasion, was quickly retrieved. The +whisper evidently proceeded from one who was posted at my +bed-side. The first idea that suggested itself was, that it was +uttered by the girl who lived with me as a servant. Perhaps, +somewhat had alarmed her, or she was sick, and had come to +request my assistance. By whispering in my ear, she intended to +rouse without alarming me. + +Full of this persuasion, I called; "Judith," said I, "is it +you? What do you want? Is there any thing the matter with +you?" No answer was returned. I repeated my inquiry, but +equally in vain. Cloudy as was the atmosphere, and curtained as +my bed was, nothing was visible. I withdrew the curtain, and +leaning my head on my elbow, I listened with the deepest +attention to catch some new sound. Meanwhile, I ran over in my +thoughts, every circumstance that could assist my conjectures. + +My habitation was a wooden edifice, consisting of two +stories. In each story were two rooms, separated by an entry, +or middle passage, with which they communicated by opposite +doors. The passage, on the lower story, had doors at the two +ends, and a stair-case. Windows answered to the doors on the +upper story. Annexed to this, on the eastern side, were wings, +divided, in like manner, into an upper and lower room; one of +them comprized a kitchen, and chamber above it for the servant, +and communicated, on both stories, with the parlour adjoining it +below, and the chamber adjoining it above. The opposite wing is +of smaller dimensions, the rooms not being above eight feet +square. The lower of these was used as a depository of +household implements, the upper was a closet in which I +deposited my books and papers. They had but one inlet, which +was from the room adjoining. There was no window in the lower +one, and in the upper, a small aperture which communicated light +and air, but would scarcely admit the body. The door which led +into this, was close to my bed-head, and was always locked, but +when I myself was within. The avenues below were accustomed to +be closed and bolted at nights. + +The maid was my only companion, and she could not reach my +chamber without previously passing through the opposite chamber, +and the middle passage, of which, however, the doors were +usually unfastened. If she had occasioned this noise, she would +have answered my repeated calls. No other conclusion, +therefore, was left me, but that I had mistaken the sounds, and +that my imagination had transformed some casual noise into the +voice of a human creature. Satisfied with this solution, I was +preparing to relinquish my listening attitude, when my ear was +again saluted with a new and yet louder whispering. It +appeared, as before, to issue from lips that touched my pillow. +A second effort of attention, however, clearly shewed me, that +the sounds issued from within the closet, the door of which was +not more than eight inches from my pillow. + +This second interruption occasioned a shock less vehement +than the former. I started, but gave no audible token of alarm. +I was so much mistress of my feelings, as to continue listening +to what should be said. The whisper was distinct, hoarse, and +uttered so as to shew that the speaker was desirous of being +heard by some one near, but, at the same time, studious to avoid +being overheard by any other. + +"Stop, stop, I say; madman as you are! there are better means +than that. Curse upon your rashness! There is no need to +shoot." + +Such were the words uttered in a tone of eagerness and anger, +within so small a distance of my pillow. What construction +could I put upon them? My heart began to palpitate with dread +of some unknown danger. Presently, another voice, but equally +near me, was heard whispering in answer. "Why not? I will draw +a trigger in this business, but perdition be my lot if I do +more." To this, the first voice returned, in a tone which rage +had heightened in a small degree above a whisper, "Coward! stand +aside, and see me do it. I will grasp her throat; I will do her +business in an instant; she shall not have time so much as to +groan." What wonder that I was petrified by sounds so dreadful! +Murderers lurked in my closet. They were planning the means of +my destruction. One resolved to shoot, and the other menaced +suffocation. Their means being chosen, they would forthwith +break the door. Flight instantly suggested itself as most +eligible in circumstances so perilous. I deliberated not a +moment; but, fear adding wings to my speed, I leaped out of bed, +and scantily robed as I was, rushed out of the chamber, down +stairs, and into the open air. I can hardly recollect the +process of turning keys, and withdrawing bolts. My terrors +urged me forward with almost a mechanical impulse. I stopped +not till I reached my brother's door. I had not gained the +threshold, when, exhausted by the violence of my emotions, and +by my speed, I sunk down in a fit. + +How long I remained in this situation I know not. When I +recovered, I found myself stretched on a bed, surrounded by my +sister and her female servants. I was astonished at the scene +before me, but gradually recovered the recollection of what had +happened. I answered their importunate inquiries as well as I +was able. My brother and Pleyel, whom the storm of the +preceding day chanced to detain here, informing themselves of +every particular, proceeded with lights and weapons to my +deserted habitation. They entered my chamber and my closet, and +found every thing in its proper place and customary order. The +door of the closet was locked, and appeared not to have been +opened in my absence. They went to Judith's apartment. They +found her asleep and in safety. Pleyel's caution induced him to +forbear alarming the girl; and finding her wholly ignorant of +what had passed, they directed her to return to her chamber. +They then fastened the doors, and returned. + +My friends were disposed to regard this transaction as a +dream. That persons should be actually immured in this closet, +to which, in the circumstances of the time, access from without +or within was apparently impossible, they could not seriously +believe. That any human beings had intended murder, unless it +were to cover a scheme of pillage, was incredible; but that no +such design had been formed, was evident from the security in +which the furniture of the house and the closet remained. + +I revolved every incident and expression that had occurred. +My senses assured me of the truth of them, and yet their +abruptness and improbability made me, in my turn, somewhat +incredulous. The adventure had made a deep impression on my +fancy, and it was not till after a week's abode at my brother's, +that I resolved to resume the possession of my own dwelling. +There was another circumstance that enhanced the +mysteriousness of this event. After my recovery it was obvious +to inquire by what means the attention of the family had been +drawn to my situation. I had fallen before I had reached the +threshold, or was able to give any signal. My brother related, +that while this was transacting in my chamber, he himself was +awake, in consequence of some slight indisposition, and lay, +according to his custom, musing on some favorite topic. +Suddenly the silence, which was remarkably profound, was broken +by a voice of most piercing shrillness, that seemed to be +uttered by one in the hall below his chamber. "Awake! arise!" +it exclaimed: "hasten to succour one that is dying at your +door." + +This summons was effectual. There was no one in the house +who was not roused by it. Pleyel was the first to obey, and my +brother overtook him before he reached the hall. What was the +general astonishment when your friend was discovered stretched +upon the grass before the door, pale, ghastly, and with every +mark of death! + +This was the third instance of a voice, exerted for the +benefit of this little community. The agent was no less +inscrutable in this, than in the former case. When I ruminated +upon these events, my soul was suspended in wonder and awe. Was +I really deceived in imagining that I heard the closet +conversation? I was no longer at liberty to question the +reality of those accents which had formerly recalled my brother +from the hill; which had imparted tidings of the death of the +German lady to Pleyel; and which had lately summoned them to my +assistance. + +But how was I to regard this midnight conversation? Hoarse +and manlike voices conferring on the means of death, so near my +bed, and at such an hour! How had my ancient security vanished! +That dwelling, which had hitherto been an inviolate asylum, was +now beset with danger to my life. That solitude, formerly so +dear to me, could no longer be endured. Pleyel, who had +consented to reside with us during the months of spring, lodged +in the vacant chamber, in order to quiet my alarms. He treated +my fears with ridicule, and in a short time very slight traces +of them remained: but as it was wholly indifferent to him +whether his nights were passed at my house or at my brother's, +this arrangement gave general satisfaction. + + + +Chapter VII + + +I will not enumerate the various inquiries and conjectures +which these incidents occasioned. After all our efforts, we +came no nearer to dispelling the mist in which they were +involved; and time, instead of facilitating a solution, only +accumulated our doubts. +In the midst of thoughts excited by these events, I was not +unmindful of my interview with the stranger. I related the +particulars, and shewed the portrait to my friends. Pleyel +recollected to have met with a figure resembling my description +in the city; but neither his face or garb made the same +impression upon him that it made upon me. It was a hint to +rally me upon my prepossessions, and to amuse us with a thousand +ludicrous anecdotes which he had collected in his travels. He +made no scruple to charge me with being in love; and threatened +to inform the swain, when he met him, of his good fortune. + +Pleyel's temper made him susceptible of no durable +impressions. His conversation was occasionally visited by +gleams of his ancient vivacity; but, though his impetuosity was +sometimes inconvenient, there was nothing to dread from his +malice. I had no fear that my character or dignity would suffer +in his hands, and was not heartily displeased when he declared +his intention of profiting by his first meeting with the +stranger to introduce him to our acquaintance. + +Some weeks after this I had spent a toilsome day, and, as the +sun declined, found myself disposed to seek relief in a walk. +The river bank is, at this part of it, and for some considerable +space upward, so rugged and steep as not to be easily descended. +In a recess of this declivity, near the southern verge of my +little demesne, was placed a slight building, with seats and +lattices. From a crevice of the rock, to which this edifice was +attached, there burst forth a stream of the purest water, which, +leaping from ledge to ledge, for the space of sixty feet, +produced a freshness in the air, and a murmur, the most +delicious and soothing imaginable. These, added to the odours +of the cedars which embowered it, and of the honey-suckle which +clustered among the lattices, rendered this my favorite retreat +in summer. + +On this occasion I repaired hither. My spirits drooped +through the fatigue of long attention, and I threw myself upon +a bench, in a state, both mentally and personally, of the utmost +supineness. The lulling sounds of the waterfall, the fragrance +and the dusk combined to becalm my spirits, and, in a short +time, to sink me into sleep. Either the uneasiness of my +posture, or some slight indisposition molested my repose with +dreams of no cheerful hue. After various incoherences had taken +their turn to occupy my fancy, I at length imagined myself +walking, in the evening twilight, to my brother's habitation. +A pit, methought, had been dug in the path I had taken, of which +I was not aware. As I carelessly pursued my walk, I thought I +saw my brother, standing at some distance before me, beckoning +and calling me to make haste. He stood on the opposite edge of +the gulph. I mended my pace, and one step more would have +plunged me into this abyss, had not some one from behind caught +suddenly my arm, and exclaimed, in a voice of eagerness and +terror, "Hold! hold!" + +The sound broke my sleep, and I found myself, at the next +moment, standing on my feet, and surrounded by the deepest +darkness. Images so terrific and forcible disabled me, for a +time, from distinguishing between sleep and wakefulness, and +withheld from me the knowledge of my actual condition. My first +panics were succeeded by the perturbations of surprize, to find +myself alone in the open air, and immersed in so deep a gloom. +I slowly recollected the incidents of the afternoon, and how I +came hither. I could not estimate the time, but saw the +propriety of returning with speed to the house. My faculties +were still too confused, and the darkness too intense, to allow +me immediately to find my way up the steep. I sat down, +therefore, to recover myself, and to reflect upon my situation. + +This was no sooner done, than a low voice was heard from +behind the lattice, on the side where I sat. Between the rock +and the lattice was a chasm not wide enough to admit a human +body; yet, in this chasm he that spoke appeared to be stationed. +"Attend! attend! but be not terrified." + +I started and exclaimed, "Good heavens! what is that? Who +are you?" + +"A friend; one come, not to injure, but to save you; fear +nothing." + +This voice was immediately recognized to be the same with one +of those which I had heard in the closet; it was the voice of +him who had proposed to shoot, rather than to strangle, his +victim. My terror made me, at once, mute and motionless. He +continued, "I leagued to murder you. I repent. Mark my +bidding, and be safe. Avoid this spot. The snares of death +encompass it. Elsewhere danger will be distant; but this spot, +shun it as you value your life. Mark me further; profit by this +warning, but divulge it not. If a syllable of what has passed +escape you, your doom is sealed. Remember your father, and be +faithful." + +Here the accents ceased, and left me overwhelmed with dismay. +I was fraught with the persuasion, that during every moment I +remained here, my life was endangered; but I could not take a +step without hazard of falling to the bottom of the precipice. +The path, leading to the summit, was short, but rugged and +intricate. Even star-light was excluded by the umbrage, and not +the faintest gleam was afforded to guide my steps. What should +I do? To depart or remain was equally and eminently perilous. + +In this state of uncertainty, I perceived a ray flit across +the gloom and disappear. Another succeeded, which was stronger, +and remained for a passing moment. It glittered on the shrubs +that were scattered at the entrance, and gleam continued to +succeed gleam for a few seconds, till they, finally, gave place +to unintermitted darkness. + +The first visitings of this light called up a train of +horrors in my mind; destruction impended over this spot; the +voice which I had lately heard had warned me to retire, and had +menaced me with the fate of my father if I refused. I was +desirous, but unable, to obey; these gleams were such as +preluded the stroke by which he fell; the hour, perhaps, was the +same--I shuddered as if I had beheld, suspended over me, the +exterminating sword. + +Presently a new and stronger illumination burst through the +lattice on the right hand, and a voice, from the edge of the +precipice above, called out my name. It was Pleyel. Joyfully +did I recognize his accents; but such was the tumult of my +thoughts that I had not power to answer him till he had +frequently repeated his summons. I hurried, at length, from the +fatal spot, and, directed by the lanthorn which he bore, +ascended the hill. + +Pale and breathless, it was with difficulty I could support +myself. He anxiously inquired into the cause of my affright, +and the motive of my unusual absence. He had returned from my +brother's at a late hour, and was informed by Judith, that I had +walked out before sun-set, and had not yet returned. This +intelligence was somewhat alarming. He waited some time; but, +my absence continuing, he had set out in search of me. He had +explored the neighbourhood with the utmost care, but, receiving +no tidings of me, he was preparing to acquaint my brother with +this circumstance, when he recollected the summer-house on the +bank, and conceived it possible that some accident had detained +me there. He again inquired into the cause of this detention, +and of that confusion and dismay which my looks testified. + +I told him that I had strolled hither in the afternoon, that +sleep had overtaken me as I sat, and that I had awakened a few +minutes before his arrival. I could tell him no more. In the +present impetuosity of my thoughts, I was almost dubious, +whether the pit, into which my brother had endeavoured to entice +me, and the voice that talked through the lattice, were not +parts of the same dream. I remembered, likewise, the charge of +secrecy, and the penalty denounced, if I should rashly divulge +what I had heard. For these reasons, I was silent on that +subject, and shutting myself in my chamber, delivered myself up +to contemplation. + +What I have related will, no doubt, appear to you a fable. +You will believe that calamity has subverted my reason, and that +I am amusing you with the chimeras of my brain, instead of facts +that have really happened. I shall not be surprized or +offended, if these be your suspicions. I know not, indeed, how +you can deny them admission. For, if to me, the immediate +witness, they were fertile of perplexity and doubt, how must +they affect another to whom they are recommended only by my +testimony? It was only by subsequent events, that I was fully +and incontestibly assured of the veracity of my senses. + +Meanwhile what was I to think? I had been assured that a +design had been formed against my life. The ruffians had +leagued to murder me. Whom had I offended? Who was there with +whom I had ever maintained intercourse, who was capable of +harbouring such atrocious purposes? + +My temper was the reverse of cruel and imperious. My heart +was touched with sympathy for the children of misfortune. But +this sympathy was not a barren sentiment. My purse, scanty as +it was, was ever open, and my hands ever active, to relieve +distress. Many were the wretches whom my personal exertions had +extricated from want and disease, and who rewarded me with their +gratitude. There was no face which lowered at my approach, and +no lips which uttered imprecations in my hearing. On the +contrary, there was none, over whose fate I had exerted any +influence, or to whom I was known by reputation, who did not +greet me with smiles, and dismiss me with proofs of veneration; +yet did not my senses assure me that a plot was laid against my +life? + +I am not destitute of courage. I have shewn myself +deliberative and calm in the midst of peril. I have hazarded my +own life, for the preservation of another, but now was I +confused and panic struck. I have not lived so as to fear +death, yet to perish by an unseen and secret stroke, to be +mangled by the knife of an assassin was a thought at which I +shuddered; what had I done to deserve to be made the victim of +malignant passions? + +But soft! was I not assured, that my life was safe in all +places but one? And why was the treason limited to take effect +in this spot? I was every where equally defenceless. My house +and chamber were, at all times, accessible. Danger still +impended over me; the bloody purpose was still entertained, but +the hand that was to execute it, was powerless in all places but +one! + +Here I had remained for the last four or five hours, without +the means of resistance or defence, yet I had not been attacked. +A human being was at hand, who was conscious of my presence, and +warned me hereafter to avoid this retreat. His voice was not +absolutely new, but had I never heard it but once before? But +why did he prohibit me from relating this incident to others, +and what species of death will be awarded if I disobey? + +He talked of my father. He intimated, that disclosure would +pull upon my head, the same destruction. Was then the death of +my father, portentous and inexplicable as it was, the +consequence of human machinations? It should seem, that this +being is apprised of the true nature of this event, and is +conscious of the means that led to it. Whether it shall +likewise fall upon me, depends upon the observance of silence. +Was it the infraction of a similar command, that brought so +horrible a penalty upon my father? + +Such were the reflections that haunted me during the night, +and which effectually deprived me of sleep. Next morning, at +breakfast, Pleyel related an event which my disappearance had +hindered him from mentioning the night before. Early the +preceding morning, his occasions called him to the city; he had +stepped into a coffee-house to while away an hour; here he had +met a person whose appearance instantly bespoke him to be the +same whose hasty visit I have mentioned, and whose extraordinary +visage and tones had so powerfully affected me. On an attentive +survey, however, he proved, likewise, to be one with whom my +friend had had some intercourse in Europe. This authorised the +liberty of accosting him, and after some conversation, mindful, +as Pleyel said, of the footing which this stranger had gained in +my heart, he had ventured to invite him to Mettingen. The +invitation had been cheerfully accepted, and a visit promised on +the afternoon of the next day. + +This information excited no sober emotions in my breast. I +was, of course, eager to be informed as to the circumstances of +their ancient intercourse. When, and where had they met? What +knew he of the life and character of this man? + +In answer to my inquiries, he informed me that, three years +before, he was a traveller in Spain. He had made an excursion +from Valencia to Murviedro, with a view to inspect the remains +of Roman magnificence, scattered in the environs of that town. +While traversing the scite of the theatre of old Saguntum, he +lighted upon this man, seated on a stone, and deeply engaged in +perusing the work of the deacon Marti. A short conversation +ensued, which proved the stranger to be English. They returned +to Valencia together. + +His garb, aspect, and deportment, were wholly Spanish. A +residence of three years in the country, indefatigable attention +to the language, and a studious conformity with the customs of +the people, had made him indistinguishable from a native, when +he chose to assume that character. Pleyel found him to be +connected, on the footing of friendship and respect, with many +eminent merchants in that city. He had embraced the catholic +religion, and adopted a Spanish name instead of his own, which +was CARWIN, and devoted himself to the literature and religion +of his new country. He pursued no profession, but subsisted on +remittances from England. + +While Pleyel remained in Valencia, Carwin betrayed no +aversion to intercourse, and the former found no small +attractions in the society of this new acquaintance. On general +topics he was highly intelligent and communicative. He had +visited every corner of Spain, and could furnish the most +accurate details respecting its ancient and present state. On +topics of religion and of his own history, previous to his +TRANSFORMATION into a Spaniard, he was invariably silent. +You could merely gather from his discourse that he was English, +and that he was well acquainted with the neighbouring countries. + +His character excited considerable curiosity in this +observer. It was not easy to reconcile his conversion to the +Romish faith, with those proofs of knowledge and capacity that +were exhibited by him on different occasions. A suspicion was, +sometimes, admitted, that his belief was counterfeited for some +political purpose. The most careful observation, however, +produced no discovery. His manners were, at all times, harmless +and inartificial, and his habits those of a lover of +contemplation and seclusion. He appeared to have contracted an +affection for Pleyel, who was not slow to return it. + +My friend, after a month's residence in this city, returned +into France, and, since that period, had heard nothing +concerning Carwin till his appearance at Mettingen. + +On this occasion Carwin had received Pleyel's greeting with +a certain distance and solemnity to which the latter had not +been accustomed. He had waved noticing the inquiries of Pleyel +respecting his desertion of Spain, in which he had formerly +declared that it was his purpose to spend his life. He had +assiduously diverted the attention of the latter to indifferent +topics, but was still, on every theme, as eloquent and judicious +as formerly. Why he had assumed the garb of a rustic, Pleyel +was unable to conjecture. Perhaps it might be poverty, perhaps +he was swayed by motives which it was his interest to conceal, +but which were connected with consequences of the utmost moment. + +Such was the sum of my friend's information. I was not sorry +to be left alone during the greater part of this day. Every +employment was irksome which did not leave me at liberty to +meditate. I had now a new subject on which to exercise my +thoughts. Before evening I should be ushered into his presence, +and listen to those tones whose magical and thrilling power I +had already experienced. But with what new images would he then +be accompanied? + +Carwin was an adherent to the Romish faith, yet was an +Englishman by birth, and, perhaps, a protestant by education. +He had adopted Spain for his country, and had intimated a design +to spend his days there, yet now was an inhabitant of this +district, and disguised by the habiliments of a clown! What +could have obliterated the impressions of his youth, and made +him abjure his religion and his country? What subsequent events +had introduced so total a change in his plans? In withdrawing +from Spain, had he reverted to the religion of his ancestors; or +was it true, that his former conversion was deceitful, and that +his conduct had been swayed by motives which it was prudent to +conceal? + +Hours were consumed in revolving these ideas. My meditations +were intense; and, when the series was broken, I began to +reflect with astonishment on my situation. From the death of my +parents, till the commencement of this year, my life had been +serene and blissful, beyond the ordinary portion of humanity; +but, now, my bosom was corroded by anxiety. I was visited by +dread of unknown dangers, and the future was a scene over which +clouds rolled, and thunders muttered. I compared the cause with +the effect, and they seemed disproportioned to each other. All +unaware, and in a manner which I had no power to explain, I was +pushed from my immoveable and lofty station, and cast upon a sea +of troubles. + +I determined to be my brother's visitant on this evening, yet +my resolves were not unattended with wavering and reluctance. +Pleyel's insinuations that I was in love, affected, in no +degree, my belief, yet the consciousness that this was the +opinion of one who would, probably, be present at our +introduction to each other, would excite all that confusion +which the passion itself is apt to produce. This would confirm +him in his error, and call forth new railleries. His mirth, +when exerted upon this topic, was the source of the bitterest +vexation. Had he been aware of its influence upon my happiness, +his temper would not have allowed him to persist; but this +influence, it was my chief endeavour to conceal. That the +belief of my having bestowed my heart upon another, produced in +my friend none but ludicrous sensations, was the true cause of +my distress; but if this had been discovered by him, my distress +would have been unspeakably aggravated. + + + +Chapter VIII + + +As soon as evening arrived, I performed my visit. Carwin +made one of the company, into which I was ushered. Appearances +were the same as when I before beheld him. His garb was equally +negligent and rustic. I gazed upon his countenance with new +curiosity. My situation was such as to enable me to bestow upon +it a deliberate examination. Viewed at more leisure, it lost +none of its wonderful properties. I could not deny my homage to +the intelligence expressed in it, but was wholly uncertain, +whether he were an object to be dreaded or adored, and whether +his powers had been exerted to evil or to good. + +He was sparing in discourse; but whatever he said was +pregnant with meaning, and uttered with rectitude of +articulation, and force of emphasis, of which I had entertained +no conception previously to my knowledge of him. +Notwithstanding the uncouthness of his garb, his manners were +not unpolished. All topics were handled by him with skill, and +without pedantry or affectation. He uttered no sentiment +calculated to produce a disadvantageous impression: on the +contrary, his observations denoted a mind alive to every +generous and heroic feeling. They were introduced without +parade, and accompanied with that degree of earnestness which +indicates sincerity. + +He parted from us not till late, refusing an invitation to +spend the night here, but readily consented to repeat his visit. +His visits were frequently repeated. Each day introduced us to +a more intimate acquaintance with his sentiments, but left us +wholly in the dark, concerning that about which we were most +inquisitive. He studiously avoided all mention of his past or +present situation. Even the place of his abode in the city he +concealed from us. + +Our sphere, in this respect, being somewhat limited, and the +intellectual endowments of this man being indisputably great, +his deportment was more diligently marked, and copiously +commented on by us, than you, perhaps, will think the +circumstances warranted. Not a gesture, or glance, or accent, +that was not, in our private assemblies, discussed, and +inferences deduced from it. It may well be thought that he +modelled his behaviour by an uncommon standard, when, with all +our opportunities and accuracy of observation, we were able, for +a long time, to gather no satisfactory information. He afforded +us no ground on which to build even a plausible conjecture. + +There is a degree of familiarity which takes place between +constant associates, that justifies the negligence of many rules +of which, in an earlier period of their intercourse, politeness +requires the exact observance. Inquiries into our condition are +allowable when they are prompted by a disinterested concern for +our welfare; and this solicitude is not only pardonable, but may +justly be demanded from those who chuse us for their companions. +This state of things was more slow to arrive on this occasion +than on most others, on account of the gravity and loftiness of +this man's behaviour. + +Pleyel, however, began, at length, to employ regular means +for this end. He occasionally alluded to the circumstances in +which they had formerly met, and remarked the incongruousness +between the religion and habits of a Spaniard, with those of a +native of Britain. He expressed his astonishment at meeting our +guest in this corner of the globe, especially as, when they +parted in Spain, he was taught to believe that Carwin should +never leave that country. He insinuated, that a change so great +must have been prompted by motives of a singular and momentous +kind. + +No answer, or an answer wide of the purpose, was generally +made to these insinuations. Britons and Spaniards, he said, are +votaries of the same Deity, and square their faith by the same +precepts; their ideas are drawn from the same fountains of +literature, and they speak dialects of the same tongue; their +government and laws have more resemblances than differences; +they were formerly provinces of the same civil, and till lately, +of the same religious, Empire. + +As to the motives which induce men to change the place of +their abode, these must unavoidably be fleeting and mutable. If +not bound to one spot by conjugal or parental ties, or by the +nature of that employment to which we are indebted for +subsistence, the inducements to change are far more numerous and +powerful, than opposite inducements. + +He spoke as if desirous of shewing that he was not aware of +the tendency of Pleyel's remarks; yet, certain tokens were +apparent, that proved him by no means wanting in penetration. +These tokens were to be read in his countenance, and not in his +words. When any thing was said, indicating curiosity in us, the +gloom of his countenance was deepened, his eyes sunk to the +ground, and his wonted air was not resumed without visible +struggle. Hence, it was obvious to infer, that some incidents +of his life were reflected on by him with regret; and that, +since these incidents were carefully concealed, and even that +regret which flowed from them laboriously stifled, they had not +been merely disastrous. The secrecy that was observed appeared +not designed to provoke or baffle the inquisitive, but was +prompted by the shame, or by the prudence of guilt. + +These ideas, which were adopted by Pleyel and my brother, as +well as myself, hindered us from employing more direct means for +accomplishing our wishes. Questions might have been put in such +terms, that no room should be left for the pretence of +misapprehension, and if modesty merely had been the obstacle, +such questions would not have been wanting; but we considered, +that, if the disclosure were productive of pain or disgrace, it +was inhuman to extort it. + +Amidst the various topics that were discussed in his +presence, allusions were, of course, made to the inexplicable +events that had lately happened. At those times, the words and +looks of this man were objects of my particular attention. The +subject was extraordinary; and any one whose experience or +reflections could throw any light upon it, was entitled to my +gratitude. As this man was enlightened by reading and travel, +I listened with eagerness to the remarks which he should make. + +At first, I entertained a kind of apprehension, that the tale +would be heard by him with incredulity and secret ridicule. I +had formerly heard stories that resembled this in some of their +mysterious circumstances, but they were, commonly, heard by me +with contempt. I was doubtful, whether the same impression +would not now be made on the mind of our guest; but I was +mistaken in my fears. + +He heard them with seriousness, and without any marks either +of surprize or incredulity. He pursued, with visible pleasure, +that kind of disquisition which was naturally suggested by them. +His fancy was eminently vigorous and prolific, and if he did not +persuade us, that human beings are, sometimes, admitted to a +sensible intercourse with the author of nature, he, at least, +won over our inclination to the cause. He merely deduced, from +his own reasonings, that such intercourse was probable; but +confessed that, though he was acquainted with many instances +somewhat similar to those which had been related by us, none of +them were perfectly exempted from the suspicion of human agency. + +On being requested to relate these instances, he amused us +with many curious details. His narratives were constructed with +so much skill, and rehearsed with so much energy, that all the +effects of a dramatic exhibition were frequently produced by +them. Those that were most coherent and most minute, and, of +consequence, least entitled to credit, were yet rendered +probable by the exquisite art of this rhetorician. For every +difficulty that was suggested, a ready and plausible solution +was furnished. Mysterious voices had always a share in +producing the catastrophe, but they were always to be explained +on some known principles, either as reflected into a focus, or +communicated through a tube. I could not but remark that his +narratives, however complex or marvellous, contained no instance +sufficiently parallel to those that had befallen ourselves, and +in which the solution was applicable to our own case. + +My brother was a much more sanguine reasoner than our guest. +Even in some of the facts which were related by Carwin, he +maintained the probability of celestial interference, when the +latter was disposed to deny it, and had found, as he imagined, +footsteps of an human agent. Pleyel was by no means equally +credulous. He scrupled not to deny faith to any testimony but +that of his senses, and allowed the facts which had lately been +supported by this testimony, not to mould his belief, but merely +to give birth to doubts. + +It was soon observed that Carwin adopted, in some degree, a +similar distinction. A tale of this kind, related by others, he +would believe, provided it was explicable upon known principles; +but that such notices were actually communicated by beings of an +higher order, he would believe only when his own ears were +assailed in a manner which could not be otherwise accounted for. +Civility forbad him to contradict my brother or myself, but his +understanding refused to acquiesce in our testimony. Besides, +he was disposed to question whether the voices heard in the +temple, at the foot of the hill, and in my closet, were not +really uttered by human organs. On this supposition he was +desired to explain how the effect was produced. + +He answered, that the power of mimickry was very common. +Catharine's voice might easily be imitated by one at the foot of +the hill, who would find no difficulty in eluding, by flight, +the search of Wieland. The tidings of the death of the Saxon +lady were uttered by one near at hand, who overheard the +conversation, who conjectured her death, and whose conjecture +happened to accord with the truth. That the voice appeared to +come from the cieling was to be considered as an illusion of the +fancy. The cry for help, heard in the hall on the night of my +adventure, was to be ascribed to an human creature, who actually +stood in the hall when he uttered it. It was of no moment, he +said, that we could not explain by what motives he that made the +signal was led hither. How imperfectly acquainted were we with +the condition and designs of the beings that surrounded us? The +city was near at hand, and thousands might there exist whose +powers and purposes might easily explain whatever was mysterious +in this transaction. As to the closet dialogue, he was obliged +to adopt one of two suppositions, and affirm either that it was +fashioned in my own fancy, or that it actually took place +between two persons in the closet. + +Such was Carwin's mode of explaining these appearances. It +is such, perhaps, as would commend itself as most plausible to +the most sagacious minds, but it was insufficient to impart +conviction to us. As to the treason that was meditated against +me, it was doubtless just to conclude that it was either real or +imaginary; but that it was real was attested by the mysterious +warning in the summer-house, the secret of which I had hitherto +locked up in my own breast. + +A month passed away in this kind of intercourse. As to +Carwin, our ignorance was in no degree enlightened respecting +his genuine character and views. Appearances were uniform. No +man possessed a larger store of knowledge, or a greater degree +of skill in the communication of it to others; Hence he was +regarded as an inestimable addition to our society. Considering +the distance of my brother's house from the city, he was +frequently prevailed upon to pass the night where he spent the +evening. Two days seldom elapsed without a visit from him; +hence he was regarded as a kind of inmate of the house. He +entered and departed without ceremony. When he arrived he +received an unaffected welcome, and when he chose to retire, no +importunities were used to induce him to remain. + +The temple was the principal scene of our social enjoyments; +yet the felicity that we tasted when assembled in this asylum, +was but the gleam of a former sun-shine. Carwin never parted +with his gravity. The inscrutableness of his character, and the +uncertainty whether his fellowship tended to good or to evil, +were seldom absent from our minds. This circumstance powerfully +contributed to sadden us. + +My heart was the seat of growing disquietudes. This change +in one who had formerly been characterized by all the +exuberances of soul, could not fail to be remarked by my +friends. My brother was always a pattern of solemnity. My +sister was clay, moulded by the circumstances in which she +happened to be placed. There was but one whose deportment +remains to be described as being of importance to our happiness. +Had Pleyel likewise dismissed his vivacity? + +He was as whimsical and jestful as ever, but he was not +happy. The truth, in this respect, was of too much importance +to me not to make me a vigilant observer. His mirth was easily +perceived to be the fruit of exertion. When his thoughts +wandered from the company, an air of dissatisfaction and +impatience stole across his features. Even the punctuality and +frequency of his visits were somewhat lessened. It may be +supposed that my own uneasiness was heightened by these tokens; +but, strange as it may seem, I found, in the present state of my +mind, no relief but in the persuasion that Pleyel was unhappy. + +That unhappiness, indeed, depended, for its value in my eyes, +on the cause that produced it. It did not arise from the death +of the Saxon lady: it was not a contagious emanation from the +countenances of Wieland or Carwin. There was but one other +source whence it could flow. A nameless ecstacy thrilled +through my frame when any new proof occurred that the +ambiguousness of my behaviour was the cause. + + + +Chapter IX + + +My brother had received a new book from Germany. It was a +tragedy, and the first attempt of a Saxon poet, of whom my +brother had been taught to entertain the highest expectations. +The exploits of Zisca, the Bohemian hero, were woven into a +dramatic series and connection. According to German custom, it +was minute and diffuse, and dictated by an adventurous and +lawless fancy. It was a chain of audacious acts, and unheard-of +disasters. The moated fortress, and the thicket; the ambush and +the battle; and the conflict of headlong passions, were +pourtrayed in wild numbers, and with terrific energy. An +afternoon was set apart to rehearse this performance. The +language was familiar to all of us but Carwin, whose company, +therefore, was tacitly dispensed with. + +The morning previous to this intended rehearsal, I spent at +home. My mind was occupied with reflections relative to my own +situation. The sentiment which lived with chief energy in my +heart, was connected with the image of Pleyel. In the midst of +my anguish, I had not been destitute of consolation. His late +deportment had given spring to my hopes. Was not the hour at +hand, which should render me the happiest of human creatures? +He suspected that I looked with favorable eyes upon Carwin. +Hence arose disquietudes, which he struggled in vain to conceal. +He loved me, but was hopeless that his love would be +compensated. Is it not time, said I, to rectify this error? +But by what means is this to be effected? It can only be done +by a change of deportment in me; but how must I demean myself +for this purpose? + +I must not speak. Neither eyes, nor lips, must impart the +information. He must not be assured that my heart is his, +previous to the tender of his own; but he must be convinced that +it has not been given to another; he must be supplied with space +whereon to build a doubt as to the true state of my affections; +he must be prompted to avow himself. The line of delicate +propriety; how hard it is, not to fall short, and not to +overleap it! + +This afternoon we shall meet at the temple. We shall not +separate till late. It will be his province to accompany me +home. The airy expanse is without a speck. This breeze is +usually stedfast, and its promise of a bland and cloudless +evening, may be trusted. The moon will rise at eleven, and at +that hour, we shall wind along this bank. Possibly that hour +may decide my fate. If suitable encouragement be given, Pleyel +will reveal his soul to me; and I, ere I reach this threshold, +will be made the happiest of beings. And is this good to be +mine? Add wings to thy speed, sweet evening; and thou, moon, I +charge thee, shroud thy beams at the moment when my Pleyel +whispers love. I would not for the world, that the burning +blushes, and the mounting raptures of that moment, should be +visible. + +But what encouragement is wanting? I must be regardful of +insurmountable limits. Yet when minds are imbued with a genuine +sympathy, are not words and looks superfluous? Are not motion +and touch sufficient to impart feelings such as mine? Has he +not eyed me at moments, when the pressure of his hand has thrown +me into tumults, and was it possible that he mistook the +impetuosities of love, for the eloquence of indignation? + +But the hastening evening will decide. Would it were come! +And yet I shudder at its near approach. An interview that must +thus terminate, is surely to be wished for by me; and yet it is +not without its terrors. Would to heaven it were come and gone! + +I feel no reluctance, my friends to be thus explicit. Time +was, when these emotions would be hidden with immeasurable +solicitude, from every human eye. Alas! these airy and fleeting +impulses of shame are gone. My scruples were preposterous and +criminal. They are bred in all hearts, by a perverse and +vicious education, and they would still have maintained their +place in my heart, had not my portion been set in misery. My +errors have taught me thus much wisdom; that those sentiments +which we ought not to disclose, it is criminal to harbour. + +It was proposed to begin the rehearsal at four o'clock; I +counted the minutes as they passed; their flight was at once too +rapid and too slow; my sensations were of an excruciating kind; +I could taste no food, nor apply to any task, nor enjoy a +moment's repose: when the hour arrived, I hastened to my +brother's. + +Pleyel was not there. He had not yet come. On ordinary +occasions, he was eminent for punctuality. He had testified +great eagerness to share in the pleasures of this rehearsal. He +was to divide the task with my brother, and, in tasks like +these, he always engaged with peculiar zeal. His elocution was +less sweet than sonorous; and, therefore, better adapted than +the mellifluences of his friend, to the outrageous vehemence of +this drama. + +What could detain him? Perhaps he lingered through +forgetfulness. Yet this was incredible. Never had his memory +been known to fail upon even more trivial occasions. Not less +impossible was it, that the scheme had lost its attractions, and +that he staid, because his coming would afford him no +gratification. But why should we expect him to adhere to the +minute? + +An half hour elapsed, but Pleyel was still at a distance. +Perhaps he had misunderstood the hour which had been proposed. +Perhaps he had conceived that to-morrow, and not to-day, had +been selected for this purpose: but no. A review of preceding +circumstances demonstrated that such misapprehension was +impossible; for he had himself proposed this day, and this hour. +This day, his attention would not otherwise be occupied; but +to-morrow, an indispensible engagement was foreseen, by which +all his time would be engrossed: his detention, therefore, must +be owing to some unforeseen and extraordinary event. Our +conjectures were vague, tumultuous, and sometimes fearful. His +sickness and his death might possibly have detained him. + +Tortured with suspense, we sat gazing at each other, and at +the path which led from the road. Every horseman that passed +was, for a moment, imagined to be him. Hour succeeded hour, and +the sun, gradually declining, at length, disappeared. Every +signal of his coming proved fallacious, and our hopes were at +length dismissed. His absence affected my friends in no +insupportable degree. They should be obliged, they said, to +defer this undertaking till the morrow; and, perhaps, their +impatient curiosity would compel them to dispense entirely with +his presence. No doubt, some harmless occurrence had diverted +him from his purpose; and they trusted that they should receive +a satisfactory account of him in the morning. + +It may be supposed that this disappointment affected me in a +very different manner. I turned aside my head to conceal my +tears. I fled into solitude, to give vent to my reproaches, +without interruption or restraint. My heart was ready to burst +with indignation and grief. Pleyel was not the only object of +my keen but unjust upbraiding. Deeply did I execrate my own +folly. Thus fallen into ruins was the gay fabric which I had +reared! Thus had my golden vision melted into air! + +How fondly did I dream that Pleyel was a lover! If he were, +would he have suffered any obstacle to hinder his coming? Blind +and infatuated man! I exclaimed. Thou sportest with happiness. +The good that is offered thee, thou hast the insolence and folly +to refuse. Well, I will henceforth intrust my felicity to no +one's keeping but my own. + +The first agonies of this disappointment would not allow me +to be reasonable or just. Every ground on which I had built the +persuasion that Pleyel was not unimpressed in my favor, appeared +to vanish. It seemed as if I had been misled into this opinion, +by the most palpable illusions. + +I made some trifling excuse, and returned, much earlier than +I expected, to my own house. I retired early to my chamber, +without designing to sleep. I placed myself at a window, and +gave the reins to reflection. + +The hateful and degrading impulses which had lately +controuled me were, in some degree, removed. New dejection +succeeded, but was now produced by contemplating my late +behaviour. Surely that passion is worthy to be abhorred which +obscures our understanding, and urges us to the commission of +injustice. What right had I to expect his attendance? Had I +not demeaned myself like one indifferent to his happiness, and +as having bestowed my regards upon another? His absence might +be prompted by the love which I considered his absence as a +proof that he wanted. He came not because the sight of me, the +spectacle of my coldness or aversion, contributed to his +despair. Why should I prolong, by hypocrisy or silence, his +misery as well as my own? Why not deal with him explicitly, and +assure him of the truth? + +You will hardly believe that, in obedience to this +suggestion, I rose for the purpose of ordering a light, that I +might instantly make this confession in a letter. A second +thought shewed me the rashness of this scheme, and I wondered by +what infirmity of mind I could be betrayed into a momentary +approbation of it. I saw with the utmost clearness that a +confession like that would be the most remediless and +unpardonable outrage upon the dignity of my sex, and utterly +unworthy of that passion which controuled me. + +I resumed my seat and my musing. To account for the absence +of Pleyel became once more the scope of my conjectures. How +many incidents might occur to raise an insuperable impediment in +his way? When I was a child, a scheme of pleasure, in which he +and his sister were parties, had been, in like manner, +frustrated by his absence; but his absence, in that instance, +had been occasioned by his falling from a boat into the river, +in consequence of which he had run the most imminent hazard of +being drowned. Here was a second disappointment endured by the +same persons, and produced by his failure. Might it not +originate in the same cause? Had he not designed to cross the +river that morning to make some necessary purchases in Jersey? +He had preconcerted to return to his own house to dinner; but, +perhaps, some disaster had befallen him. Experience had taught +me the insecurity of a canoe, and that was the only kind of boat +which Pleyel used: I was, likewise, actuated by an hereditary +dread of water. These circumstances combined to bestow +considerable plausibility on this conjecture; but the +consternation with which I began to be seized was allayed by +reflecting, that if this disaster had happened my brother would +have received the speediest information of it. The consolation +which this idea imparted was ravished from me by a new thought. +This disaster might have happened, and his family not be +apprized of it. The first intelligence of his fate may be +communicated by the livid corpse which the tide may cast, many +days hence, upon the shore. + +Thus was I distressed by opposite conjectures: thus was I +tormented by phantoms of my own creation. It was not always +thus. I can ascertain the date when my mind became the victim +of this imbecility; perhaps it was coeval with the inroad of a +fatal passion; a passion that will never rank me in the number +of its eulogists; it was alone sufficient to the extermination +of my peace: it was itself a plenteous source of calamity, and +needed not the concurrence of other evils to take away the +attractions of existence, and dig for me an untimely grave. + +The state of my mind naturally introduced a train of +reflections upon the dangers and cares which inevitably beset an +human being. By no violent transition was I led to ponder on +the turbulent life and mysterious end of my father. I +cherished, with the utmost veneration, the memory of this man, +and every relique connected with his fate was preserved with the +most scrupulous care. Among these was to be numbered a +manuscript, containing memoirs of his own life. The narrative +was by no means recommended by its eloquence; but neither did +all its value flow from my relationship to the author. Its +stile had an unaffected and picturesque simplicity. The great +variety and circumstantial display of the incidents, together +with their intrinsic importance, as descriptive of human manners +and passions, made it the most useful book in my collection. It +was late; but being sensible of no inclination to sleep, I +resolved to betake myself to the perusal of it. + +To do this it was requisite to procure a light. The girl had +long since retired to her chamber: it was therefore proper to +wait upon myself. A lamp, and the means of lighting it, were +only to be found in the kitchen. Thither I resolved forthwith +to repair; but the light was of use merely to enable me to read +the book. I knew the shelf and the spot where it stood. +Whether I took down the book, or prepared the lamp in the first +place, appeared to be a matter of no moment. The latter was +preferred, and, leaving my seat, I approached the closet in +which, as I mentioned formerly, my books and papers were +deposited. + +Suddenly the remembrance of what had lately passed in this +closet occurred. Whether midnight was approaching, or had +passed, I knew not. I was, as then, alone, and defenceless. +The wind was in that direction in which, aided by the deathlike +repose of nature, it brought to me the murmur of the water-fall. +This was mingled with that solemn and enchanting sound, which a +breeze produces among the leaves of pines. The words of that +mysterious dialogue, their fearful import, and the wild excess +to which I was transported by my terrors, filled my imagination +anew. My steps faultered, and I stood a moment to recover +myself. + +I prevailed on myself at length to move towards the closet. +I touched the lock, but my fingers were powerless; I was visited +afresh by unconquerable apprehensions. A sort of belief darted +into my mind, that some being was concealed within, whose +purposes were evil. I began to contend with those fears, when +it occurred to me that I might, without impropriety, go for a +lamp previously to opening the closet. I receded a few steps; +but before I reached my chamber door my thoughts took a new +direction. Motion seemed to produce a mechanical influence upon +me. I was ashamed of my weakness. Besides, what aid could be +afforded me by a lamp? + +My fears had pictured to themselves no precise object. It +would be difficult to depict, in words, the ingredients and hues +of that phantom which haunted me. An hand invisible and of +preternatural strength, lifted by human passions, and selecting +my life for its aim, were parts of this terrific image. All +places were alike accessible to this foe, or if his empire were +restricted by local bounds, those bounds were utterly +inscrutable by me. But had I not been told by some one in +league with this enemy, that every place but the recess in the +bank was exempt from danger? +I returned to the closet, and once more put my hand upon the +lock. O! may my ears lose their sensibility, ere they be again +assailed by a shriek so terrible! Not merely my understanding +was subdued by the sound: it acted on my nerves like an edge of +steel. It appeared to cut asunder the fibres of my brain, and +rack every joint with agony. + +The cry, loud and piercing as it was, was nevertheless human. +No articulation was ever more distinct. The breath which +accompanied it did not fan my hair, yet did every circumstance +combine to persuade me that the lips which uttered it touched my +very shoulder. + +"Hold! Hold!" were the words of this tremendous prohibition, +in whose tone the whole soul seemed to be wrapped up, and every +energy converted into eagerness and terror. + +Shuddering, I dashed myself against the wall, and by the same +involuntary impulse, turned my face backward to examine the +mysterious monitor. The moon-light streamed into each window, +and every corner of the room was conspicuous, and yet I beheld +nothing! + +The interval was too brief to be artificially measured, +between the utterance of these words, and my scrutiny directed +to the quarter whence they came. Yet if a human being had been +there, could he fail to have been visible? Which of my senses +was the prey of a fatal illusion? The shock which the sound +produced was still felt in every part of my frame. The sound, +therefore, could not but be a genuine commotion. But that I had +heard it, was not more true than that the being who uttered it +was stationed at my right ear; yet my attendant was invisible. + +I cannot describe the state of my thoughts at that moment. +Surprize had mastered my faculties. My frame shook, and the +vital current was congealed. I was conscious only to the +vehemence of my sensations. This condition could not be +lasting. Like a tide, which suddenly mounts to an overwhelming +height, and then gradually subsides, my confusion slowly gave +place to order, and my tumults to a calm. I was able to +deliberate and move. I resumed my feet, and advanced into the +midst of the room. Upward, and behind, and on each side, I +threw penetrating glances. I was not satisfied with one +examination. He that hitherto refused to be seen, might change +his purpose, and on the next survey be clearly distinguishable. + +Solitude imposes least restraint upon the fancy. Dark is +less fertile of images than the feeble lustre of the moon. I +was alone, and the walls were chequered by shadowy forms. As +the moon passed behind a cloud and emerged, these shadows seemed +to be endowed with life, and to move. The apartment was open to +the breeze, and the curtain was occasionally blown from its +ordinary position. This motion was not unaccompanied with +sound. I failed not to snatch a look, and to listen when this +motion and this sound occurred. My belief that my monitor was +posted near, was strong, and instantly converted these +appearances to tokens of his presence, and yet I could discern +nothing. + +When my thoughts were at length permitted to revert to the +past, the first idea that occurred was the resemblance between +the words of the voice which I had just heard, and those which +had terminated my dream in the summer-house. There are means by +which we are able to distinguish a substance from a shadow, a +reality from the phantom of a dream. The pit, my brother +beckoning me forward, the seizure of my arm, and the voice +behind, were surely imaginary. That these incidents were +fashioned in my sleep, is supported by the same indubitable +evidence that compels me to believe myself awake at present; yet +the words and the voice were the same. Then, by some +inexplicable contrivance, I was aware of the danger, while my +actions and sensations were those of one wholly unacquainted +with it. Now, was it not equally true that my actions and +persuasions were at war? Had not the belief, that evil lurked +in the closet, gained admittance, and had not my actions +betokened an unwarrantable security? To obviate the effects of +my infatuation, the same means had been used. + +In my dream, he that tempted me to my destruction, was my +brother. Death was ambushed in my path. From what evil was I +now rescued? What minister or implement of ill was shut up in +this recess? Who was it whose suffocating grasp I was to feel, +should I dare to enter it? What monstrous conception is this? +my brother! + +No; protection, and not injury is his province. Strange and +terrible chimera! Yet it would not be suddenly dismissed. It +was surely no vulgar agency that gave this form to my fears. He +to whom all parts of time are equally present, whom no +contingency approaches, was the author of that spell which now +seized upon me. Life was dear to me. No consideration was +present that enjoined me to relinquish it. Sacred duty combined +with every spontaneous sentiment to endear to me my being. +Should I not shudder when my being was endangered? But what +emotion should possess me when the arm lifted aginst me was +Wieland's? + +Ideas exist in our minds that can be accounted for by no +established laws. Why did I dream that my brother was my foe? +Why but because an omen of my fate was ordained to be +communicated? Yet what salutary end did it serve? Did it arm +me with caution to elude, or fortitude to bear the evils to +which I was reserved? My present thoughts were, no doubt, +indebted for their hue to the similitude existing between these +incidents and those of my dream. Surely it was phrenzy that +dictated my deed. That a ruffian was hidden in the closet, was +an idea, the genuine tendency of which was to urge me to flight. +Such had been the effect formerly produced. Had my mind been +simply occupied with this thought at present, no doubt, the same +impulse would have been experienced; but now it was my brother +whom I was irresistably persuaded to regard as the contriver of +that ill of which I had been forewarned. This persuasion did +not extenuate my fears or my danger. Why then did I again +approach the closet and withdraw the bolt? My resolution was +instantly conceived, and executed without faultering. + +The door was formed of light materials. The lock, of simple +structure, easily forewent its hold. It opened into the room, +and commonly moved upon its hinges, after being unfastened, +without any effort of mine. This effort, however, was bestowed +upon the present occasion. It was my purpose to open it with +quickness, but the exertion which I made was ineffectual. It +refused to open. + +At another time, this circumstance would not have looked with +a face of mystery. I should have supposed some casual +obstruction, and repeated my efforts to surmount it. But now my +mind was accessible to no conjecture but one. The door was +hindered from opening by human force. Surely, here was new +cause for affright. This was confirmation proper to decide my +conduct. Now was all ground of hesitation taken away. What +could be supposed but that I deserted the chamber and the house? +that I at least endeavoured no longer to withdraw the door? + +Have I not said that my actions were dictated by phrenzy? My +reason had forborne, for a time, to suggest or to sway my +resolves. I reiterated my endeavours. I exerted all my force +to overcome the obstacle, but in vain. The strength that was +exerted to keep it shut, was superior to mine. + +A casual observer might, perhaps, applaud the audaciousness +of this conduct. Whence, but from an habitual defiance of +danger, could my perseverance arise? I have already assigned, +as distinctly as I am able, the cause of it. The frantic +conception that my brother was within, that the resistance made +to my design was exerted by him, had rooted itself in my mind. +You will comprehend the height of this infatuation, when I tell +you, that, finding all my exertions vain, I betook myself to +exclamations. Surely I was utterly bereft of understanding. + +Now had I arrived at the crisis of my fate. "O! hinder not +the door to open," I exclaimed, in a tone that had less of fear +than of grief in it. "I know you well. Come forth, but harm me +not. I beseech you come forth." + +I had taken my hand from the lock, and removed to a small +distance from the door. I had scarcely uttered these words, +when the door swung upon its hinges, and displayed to my view +the interior of the closet. Whoever was within, was shrouded in +darkness. A few seconds passed without interruption of the +silence. I knew not what to expect or to fear. My eyes would +not stray from the recess. Presently, a deep sigh was heard. +The quarter from which it came heightened the eagerness of my +gaze. Some one approached from the farther end. I quickly +perceived the outlines of a human figure. Its steps were +irresolute and slow. I recoiled as it advanced. + +By coming at length within the verge of the room, his form +was clearly distinguishable. I had prefigured to myself a very +different personage. The face that presented itself was the +last that I should desire to meet at an hour, and in a place +like this. My wonder was stifled by my fears. Assassins had +lurked in this recess. Some divine voice warned me of danger, +that at this moment awaited me. I had spurned the intimation, +and challenged my adversary. + +I recalled the mysterious countenance and dubious character +of Carwin. What motive but atrocious ones could guide his steps +hither? I was alone. My habit suited the hour, and the place, +and the warmth of the season. All succour was remote. He had +placed himself between me and the door. My frame shook with the +vehemence of my apprehensions. + +Yet I was not wholly lost to myself: I vigilantly marked his +demeanour. His looks were grave, but not without perturbation. +What species of inquietude it betrayed, the light was not strong +enough to enable me to discover. He stood still; but his eyes +wandered from one object to another. When these powerful organs +were fixed upon me, I shrunk into myself. At length, he broke +silence. Earnestness, and not embarrassment, was in his tone. +He advanced close to me while he spoke. + +"What voice was that which lately addressed you?" + +He paused for an answer; but observing my trepidation, he +resumed, with undiminished solemnity: "Be not terrified. +Whoever he was, he hast done you an important service. I need +not ask you if it were the voice of a companion. That sound was +beyond the compass of human organs. The knowledge that enabled +him to tell you who was in the closet, was obtained by +incomprehensible means. + +"You knew that Carwin was there. Were you not apprized of +his intents? The same power could impart the one as well as the +other. Yet, knowing these, you persisted. Audacious girl! but, +perhaps, you confided in his guardianship. Your confidence was +just. With succour like this at hand you may safely defy me. + +"He is my eternal foe; the baffler of my best concerted +schemes. Twice have you been saved by his accursed +interposition. But for him I should long ere now have borne +away the spoils of your honor." + +He looked at me with greater stedfastness than before. I +became every moment more anxious for my safety. It was with +difficulty I stammered out an entreaty that he would instantly +depart, or suffer me to do so. He paid no regard to my request, +but proceeded in a more impassioned manner. + +"What is it you fear? Have I not told you, you are safe? +Has not one in whom you more reasonably place trust assured you +of it? Even if I execute my purpose, what injury is done? Your +prejudices will call it by that name, but it merits it not. +"I was impelled by a sentiment that does you honor; a +sentiment, that would sanctify my deed; but, whatever it be, you +are safe. Be this chimera still worshipped; I will do nothing +to pollute it." There he stopped. + +The accents and gestures of this man left me drained of all +courage. Surely, on no other occasion should I have been thus +pusillanimous. My state I regarded as a hopeless one. I was +wholly at the mercy of this being. Whichever way I turned my +eyes, I saw no avenue by which I might escape. The resources of +my personal strength, my ingenuity, and my eloquence, I +estimated at nothing. The dignity of virtue, and the force of +truth, I had been accustomed to celebrate; and had frequently +vaunted of the conquests which I should make with their +assistance. + +I used to suppose that certain evils could never befall a +being in possession of a sound mind; that true virtue supplies +us with energy which vice can never resist; that it was always +in our power to obstruct, by his own death, the designs of an +enemy who aimed at less than our life. How was it that a +sentiment like despair had now invaded me, and that I trusted to +the protection of chance, or to the pity of my persecutor? + +His words imparted some notion of the injury which he had +meditated. He talked of obstacles that had risen in his way. +He had relinquished his design. These sources supplied me with +slender consolation. There was no security but in his absence. +When I looked at myself, when I reflected on the hour and the +place, I was overpowered by horror and dejection. + +He was silent, museful, and inattentive to my situation, yet +made no motion to depart. I was silent in my turn. What could +I say? I was confident that reason in this contest would be +impotent. I must owe my safety to his own suggestions. +Whatever purpose brought him hither, he had changed it. Why +then did he remain? His resolutions might fluctuate, and the +pause of a few minutes restore to him his first resolutions. + +Yet was not this the man whom we had treated with unwearied +kindness? Whose society was endeared to us by his intellectual +elevation and accomplishments? Who had a thousand times +expatiated on the usefulness and beauty of virtue? Why should +such a one be dreaded? If I could have forgotten the +circumstances in which our interview had taken place, I might +have treated his words as jests. Presently, he resumed: + +"Fear me not: the space that severs us is small, and all +visible succour is distant. You believe yourself completely in +my power; that you stand upon the brink of ruin. Such are your +groundless fears. I cannot lift a finger to hurt you. Easier +it would be to stop the moon in her course than to injure you. +The power that protects you would crumble my sinews, and reduce +me to a heap of ashes in a moment, if I were to harbour a +thought hostile to your safety. +"Thus are appearances at length solved. Little did I expect +that they originated hence. What a portion is assigned to you? +Scanned by the eyes of this intelligence, your path will be +without pits to swallow, or snares to entangle you. Environed +by the arms of this protection, all artifices will be +frustrated, and all malice repelled." + +Here succeeded a new pause. I was still observant of every +gesture and look. The tranquil solemnity that had lately +possessed his countenance gave way to a new expression. All now +was trepidation and anxiety. + +"I must be gone," said he in a faltering accent. "Why do I +linger here? I will not ask your forgiveness. I see that your +terrors are invincible. Your pardon will be extorted by fear, +and not dictated by compassion. I must fly from you forever. +He that could plot against your honor, must expect from you and +your friends persecution and death. I must doom myself to +endless exile." + +Saying this, he hastily left the room. I listened while he +descended the stairs, and, unbolting the outer door, went forth. +I did not follow him with my eyes, as the moon-light would have +enabled me to do. Relieved by his absence, and exhausted by the +conflict of my fears, I threw myself on a chair, and resigned +myself to those bewildering ideas which incidents like these +could not fail to produce. + + + +Chapter X + + +Order could not readily be introduced into my thoughts. The +voice still rung in my ears. Every accent that was uttered by +Carwin was fresh in my remembrance. His unwelcome approach, the +recognition of his person, his hasty departure, produced a +complex impression on my mind which no words can delineate. I +strove to give a slower motion to my thoughts, and to regulate +a confusion which became painful; but my efforts were nugatory. +I covered my eyes with my hand, and sat, I know not how long, +without power to arrange or utter my conceptions. + +I had remained for hours, as I believed, in absolute +solitude. No thought of personal danger had molested my +tranquillity. I had made no preparation for defence. What was +it that suggested the design of perusing my father's manuscript? +If, instead of this, I had retired to bed, and to sleep, to what +fate might I not have been reserved? The ruffian, who must +almost have suppressed his breathing to screen himself from +discovery, would have noticed this signal, and I should have +awakened only to perish with affright, and to abhor myself. +Could I have remained unconscious of my danger? Could I have +tranquilly slept in the midst of so deadly a snare? + +And who was he that threatened to destroy me? By what means +could he hide himself in this closet? Surely he is gifted with +supernatural power. Such is the enemy of whose attempts I was +forewarned. Daily I had seen him and conversed with him. +Nothing could be discerned through the impenetrable veil of his +duplicity. When busied in conjectures, as to the author of the +evil that was threatened, my mind did not light, for a moment, +upon his image. Yet has he not avowed himself my enemy? Why +should he be here if he had not meditated evil? + +He confesses that this has been his second attempt. What was +the scene of his former conspiracy? Was it not he whose +whispers betrayed him? Am I deceived; or was there not a faint +resemblance between the voice of this man and that which talked +of grasping my throat, and extinguishing my life in a moment? +Then he had a colleague in his crime; now he is alone. Then +death was the scope of his thoughts; now an injury unspeakably +more dreadful. How thankful should I be to the power that has +interposed to save me! + +That power is invisible. It is subject to the cognizance of +one of my senses. What are the means that will inform me of +what nature it is? He has set himself to counterwork the +machinations of this man, who had menaced destruction to all +that is dear to me, and whose cunning had surmounted every human +impediment. There was none to rescue me from his grasp. My +rashness even hastened the completion of his scheme, and +precluded him from the benefits of deliberation. I had robbed +him of the power to repent and forbear. Had I been apprized of +the danger, I should have regarded my conduct as the means of +rendering my escape from it impossible. Such, likewise, seem to +have been the fears of my invisible protector. Else why that +startling intreaty to refrain from opening the closet? By what +inexplicable infatuation was I compelled to proceed? + +Yet my conduct was wise. Carwin, unable to comprehend my +folly, ascribed my behaviour to my knowledge. He conceived +himself previously detected, and such detection being possible +to flow only from MY heavenly friend, and HIS enemy, his +fears acquired additional strength. + +He is apprized of the nature and intentions of this being. +Perhaps he is a human agent. Yet, on that supposition his +atchievements are incredible. Why should I be selected as the +object of his care; or, if a mere mortal, should I not recognize +some one, whom, benefits imparted and received had prompted to +love me? What were the limits and duration of his guardianship? +Was the genius of my birth entrusted by divine benignity with +this province? Are human faculties adequate to receive stronger +proofs of the existence of unfettered and beneficent +intelligences than I have received? + +But who was this man's coadjutor? The voice that +acknowledged an alliance in treachery with Carwin warned me to +avoid the summer-house. He assured me that there only my safety +was endangered. His assurance, as it now appears, was +fallacious. Was there not deceit in his admonition? Was his +compact really annulled? Some purpose was, perhaps, to be +accomplished by preventing my future visits to that spot. Why +was I enjoined silence to others, on the subject of this +admonition, unless it were for some unauthorized and guilty +purpose? + +No one but myself was accustomed to visit it. Backward, it +was hidden from distant view by the rock, and in front, it was +screened from all examination, by creeping plants, and the +branches of cedars. What recess could be more propitious to +secrecy? The spirit which haunted it formerly was pure and +rapturous. It was a fane sacred to the memory of infantile +days, and to blissful imaginations of the future! What a gloomy +reverse had succeeded since the ominous arrival of this +stranger! Now, perhaps, it is the scene of his meditations. +Purposes fraught with horror, that shun the light, and +contemplate the pollution of innocence, are here engendered, and +fostered, and reared to maturity. + +Such were the ideas that, during the night, were tumultuously +revolved by me. I reviewed every conversation in which Carwin +had borne a part. I studied to discover the true inferences +deducible from his deportment and words with regard to his +former adventures and actual views. I pondered on the comments +which he made on the relation which I had given of the closet +dialogue. No new ideas suggested themselves in the course of +this review. My expectation had, from the first, been +disappointed on the small degree of surprize which this +narrative excited in him. He never explicitly declared his +opinion as to the nature of those voices, or decided whether +they were real or visionary. He recommended no measures of +caution or prevention. + +But what measures were now to be taken? Was the danger which +threatened me at an end? Had I nothing more to fear? I was +lonely, and without means of defence. I could not calculate the +motives and regulate the footsteps of this person. What +certainty was there, that he would not re-assume his purposes, +and swiftly return to the execution of them? + +This idea covered me once more with dismay. How deeply did +I regret the solitude in which I was placed, and how ardently +did I desire the return of day! But neither of these +inconveniencies were susceptible of remedy. At first, it +occurred to me to summon my servant, and make her spend the +night in my chamber; but the inefficacy of this expedient to +enhance my safety was easily seen. Once I resolved to leave the +house, and retire to my brother's, but was deterred by +reflecting on the unseasonableness of the hour, on the alarm +which my arrival, and the account which I should be obliged to +give, might occasion, and on the danger to which I might expose +myself in the way thither. I began, likewise, to consider +Carwin's return to molest me as exceedingly improbable. He had +relinquished, of his own accord, his design, and departed +without compulsion. +"Surely," said I, "there is omnipotence in the cause that +changed the views of a man like Carwin. The divinity that +shielded me from his attempts will take suitable care of my +future safety. Thus to yield to my fears is to deserve that +they should be real." + +Scarcely had I uttered these words, when my attention was +startled by the sound of footsteps. They denoted some one +stepping into the piazza in front of my house. My new-born +confidence was extinguished in a moment. Carwin, I thought, had +repented his departure, and was hastily returning. The +possibility that his return was prompted by intentions +consistent with my safety, found no place in my mind. Images of +violation and murder assailed me anew, and the terrors which +succeeded almost incapacitated me from taking any measures for +my defence. It was an impulse of which I was scarcely +conscious, that made me fasten the lock and draw the bolts of my +chamber door. Having done this, I threw myself on a seat; for +I trembled to a degree which disabled me from standing, and my +soul was so perfectly absorbed in the act of listening, that +almost the vital motions were stopped. + +The door below creaked on its hinges. It was not again +thrust to, but appeared to remain open. Footsteps entered, +traversed the entry, and began to mount the stairs. How I +detested the folly of not pursuing the man when he withdrew, and +bolting after him the outer door! Might he not conceive this +omission to be a proof that my angel had deserted me, and be +thereby fortified in guilt? + +Every step on the stairs, which brought him nearer to my +chamber, added vigor to my desperation. The evil with which I +was menaced was to be at any rate eluded. How little did I +preconceive the conduct which, in an exigence like this, I +should be prone to adopt. You will suppose that deliberation +and despair would have suggested the same course of action, and +that I should have, unhesitatingly, resorted to the best means +of personal defence within my power. A penknife lay open upon +my table. I remembered that it was there, and seized it. For +what purpose you will scarcely inquire. It will be immediately +supposed that I meant it for my last refuge, and that if all +other means should fail, I should plunge it into the heart of my +ravisher. + +I have lost all faith in the stedfastness of human resolves. +It was thus that in periods of calm I had determined to act. No +cowardice had been held by me in greater abhorrence than that +which prompted an injured female to destroy, not her injurer ere +the injury was perpetrated, but herself when it was without +remedy. Yet now this penknife appeared to me of no other use +than to baffle my assailant, and prevent the crime by destroying +myself. To deliberate at such a time was impossible; but among +the tumultuous suggestions of the moment, I do not recollect +that it once occurred to me to use it as an instrument of direct +defence. +The steps had now reached the second floor. Every footfall +accelerated the completion, without augmenting, the certainty of +evil. The consciousness that the door was fast, now that +nothing but that was interposed between me and danger, was a +source of some consolation. I cast my eye towards the window. +This, likewise, was a new suggestion. If the door should give +way, it was my sudden resolution to throw myself from the +window. Its height from the ground, which was covered beneath +by a brick pavement, would insure my destruction; but I thought +not of that. + +When opposite to my door the footsteps ceased. Was he +listening whether my fears were allayed, and my caution were +asleep? Did he hope to take me by surprize? Yet, if so, why +did he allow so many noisy signals to betray his approach? +Presently the steps were again heard to approach the door. An +hand was laid upon the lock, and the latch pulled back. Did he +imagine it possible that I should fail to secure the door? A +slight effort was made to push it open, as if all bolts being +withdrawn, a slight effort only was required. + +I no sooner perceived this, than I moved swiftly towards the +window. Carwin's frame might be said to be all muscle. His +strength and activity had appeared, in various instances, to be +prodigious. A slight exertion of his force would demolish the +door. Would not that exertion be made? Too surely it would; +but, at the same moment that this obstacle should yield, and he +should enter the apartment, my determination was formed to leap +from the window. My senses were still bound to this object. I +gazed at the door in momentary expectation that the assault +would be made. The pause continued. The person without was +irresolute and motionless. + +Suddenly, it occurred to me that Carwin might conceive me to +have fled. That I had not betaken myself to flight was, indeed, +the least probable of all conclusions. In this persuasion he +must have been confirmed on finding the lower door unfastened, +and the chamber door locked. Was it not wise to foster this +persuasion? Should I maintain deep silence, this, in addition +to other circumstances, might encourage the belief, and he would +once more depart. Every new reflection added plausibility to +this reasoning. It was presently more strongly enforced, when +I noticed footsteps withdrawing from the door. The blood once +more flowed back to my heart, and a dawn of exultation began to +rise: but my joy was short lived. Instead of descending the +stairs, he passed to the door of the opposite chamber, opened +it, and having entered, shut it after him with a violence that +shook the house. + +How was I to interpret this circumstance? For what end could +he have entered this chamber? Did the violence with which he +closed the door testify the depth of his vexation? This room +was usually occupied by Pleyel. Was Carwin aware of his absence +on this night? Could he be suspected of a design so sordid as +pillage? If this were his view there were no means in my power +to frustrate it. It behoved me to seize the first opportunity +to escape; but if my escape were supposed by my enemy to have +been already effected, no asylum was more secure than the +present. How could my passage from the house be accomplished +without noises that might incite him to pursue me? + +Utterly at a loss to account for his going into Pleyel's +chamber, I waited in instant expectation of hearing him come +forth. All, however, was profoundly still. I listened in vain +for a considerable period, to catch the sound of the door when +it should again be opened. There was no other avenue by which +he could escape, but a door which led into the girl's chamber. +Would any evil from this quarter befall the girl? + +Hence arose a new train of apprehensions. They merely added +to the turbulence and agony of my reflections. Whatever evil +impended over her, I had no power to avert it. Seclusion and +silence were the only means of saving myself from the perils of +this fatal night. What solemn vows did I put up, that if I +should once more behold the light of day, I would never trust +myself again within the threshold of this dwelling! + +Minute lingered after minute, but no token was given that +Carwin had returned to the passage. What, I again asked, could +detain him in this room? Was it possible that he had returned, +and glided, unperceived, away? I was speedily aware of the +difficulty that attended an enterprize like this; and yet, as if +by that means I were capable of gaining any information on that +head, I cast anxious looks from the window. + +The object that first attracted my attention was an human +figure standing on the edge of the bank. Perhaps my penetration +was assisted by my hopes. Be that as it will, the figure of +Carwin was clearly distinguishable. From the obscurity of my +station, it was impossible that I should be discerned by him, +and yet he scarcely suffered me to catch a glimpse of him. He +turned and went down the steep, which, in this part, was not +difficult to be scaled. + +My conjecture then had been right. Carwin has softly opened +the door, descended the stairs, and issued forth. That I should +not have overheard his steps, was only less incredible than that +my eyes had deceived me. But what was now to be done? The +house was at length delivered from this detested inmate. By one +avenue might he again re-enter. Was it not wise to bar the +lower door? Perhaps he had gone out by the kitchen door. For +this end, he must have passed through Judith's chamber. These +entrances being closed and bolted, as great security was gained +as was compatible with my lonely condition. + +The propriety of these measures was too manifest not to make +me struggle successfully with my fears. Yet I opened my own +door with the utmost caution, and descended as if I were afraid +that Carwin had been still immured in Pleyel's chamber. The +outer door was a-jar. I shut, with trembling eagerness, and +drew every bolt that appended to it. I then passed with light +and less cautious steps through the parlour, but was surprized +to discover that the kitchen door was secure. I was compelled +to acquiesce in the first conjecture that Carwin had escaped +through the entry. + +My heart was now somewhat eased of the load of apprehension. +I returned once more to my chamber, the door of which I was +careful to lock. It was no time to think of repose. The +moon-light began already to fade before the light of the day. +The approach of morning was betokened by the usual signals. I +mused upon the events of this night, and determined to take up +my abode henceforth at my brother's. Whether I should inform +him of what had happened was a question which seemed to demand +some consideration. My safety unquestionably required that I +should abandon my present habitation. + +As my thoughts began to flow with fewer impediments, the +image of Pleyel, and the dubiousness of his condition, again +recurred to me. I again ran over the possible causes of his +absence on the preceding day. My mind was attuned to +melancholy. I dwelt, with an obstinacy for which I could not +account, on the idea of his death. I painted to myself his +struggles with the billows, and his last appearance. I imagined +myself a midnight wanderer on the shore, and to have stumbled on +his corpse, which the tide had cast up. These dreary images +affected me even to tears. I endeavoured not to restrain them. +They imparted a relief which I had not anticipated. The more +copiously they flowed, the more did my general sensations appear +to subside into calm, and a certain restlessness give way to +repose. + +Perhaps, relieved by this effusion, the slumber so much +wanted might have stolen on my senses, had there been no new +cause of alarm. + + + +Chapter XI + + +I was aroused from this stupor by sounds that evidently arose +in the next chamber. Was it possible that I had been mistaken +in the figure which I had seen on the bank? or had Carwin, by +some inscrutable means, penetrated once more into this chamber? +The opposite door opened; footsteps came forth, and the person, +advancing to mine, knocked. + +So unexpected an incident robbed me of all presence of mind, +and, starting up, I involuntarily exclaimed, "Who is there?" An +answer was immediately given. The voice, to my inexpressible +astonishment, was Pleyel's. + +"It is I. Have you risen? If you have not, make haste; I +want three minutes conversation with you in the parlour--I will +wait for you there." Saying this he retired from the door. + +Should I confide in the testimony of my ears? If that were +true, it was Pleyel that had been hitherto immured in the +opposite chamber: he whom my rueful fancy had depicted in so +many ruinous and ghastly shapes: he whose footsteps had been +listened to with such inquietude! What is man, that knowledge +is so sparingly conferred upon him! that his heart should be +wrung with distress, and his frame be exanimated with fear, +though his safety be encompassed with impregnable walls! What +are the bounds of human imbecility! He that warned me of the +presence of my foe refused the intimation by which so many +racking fears would have been precluded. + +Yet who would have imagined the arrival of Pleyel at such an +hour? His tone was desponding and anxious. Why this +unseasonable summons? and why this hasty departure? Some +tidings he, perhaps, bears of mysterious and unwelcome import. + +My impatience would not allow me to consume much time in +deliberation: I hastened down. Pleyel I found standing at a +window, with eyes cast down as in meditation, and arms folded on +his breast. Every line in his countenance was pregnant with +sorrow. To this was added a certain wanness and air of fatigue. +The last time I had seen him appearances had been the reverse of +these. I was startled at the change. The first impulse was to +question him as to the cause. This impulse was supplanted by +some degree of confusion, flowing from a consciousness that love +had too large, and, as it might prove, a perceptible share in +creating this impulse. I was silent. + +Presently he raised his eyes and fixed them upon me. I read +in them an anguish altogether ineffable. Never had I witnessed +a like demeanour in Pleyel. Never, indeed, had I observed an +human countenance in which grief was more legibly inscribed. He +seemed struggling for utterance; but his struggles being +fruitless, he shook his head and turned away from me. + +My impatience would not allow me to be longer silent: +"What," said I, "for heaven's sake, my friend, what is the +matter?" + +He started at the sound of my voice. His looks, for a +moment, became convulsed with an emotion very different from +grief. His accents were broken with rage. + +"The matter--O wretch!--thus exquisitely fashioned--on whom +nature seemed to have exhausted all her graces; with charms so +awful and so pure! how art thou fallen! From what height +fallen! A ruin so complete--so unheard of!" + +His words were again choaked by emotion. Grief and pity were +again mingled in his features. He resumed, in a tone half +suffocated by sobs: + +"But why should I upbraid thee? Could I restore to thee what +thou hast lost; efface this cursed stain; snatch thee from the +jaws of this fiend; I would do it. Yet what will avail my +efforts? I have not arms with which to contend with so +consummate, so frightful a depravity. + +"Evidence less than this would only have excited resentment +and scorn. The wretch who should have breathed a suspicion +injurious to thy honor, would have been regarded without anger; +not hatred or envy could have prompted him; it would merely be +an argument of madness. That my eyes, that my ears, should bear +witness to thy fall! By no other way could detestible +conviction be imparted. + +"Why do I summon thee to this conference? Why expose myself +to thy derision? Here admonition and entreaty are vain. Thou +knowest him already, for a murderer and thief. I had thought to +have been the first to disclose to thee his infamy; to have +warned thee of the pit to which thou art hastening; but thy eyes +are open in vain. O foul and insupportable disgrace! + +"There is but one path. I know you will disappear together. +In thy ruin, how will the felicity and honor of multitudes be +involved! But it must come. This scene shall not be blotted by +his presence. No doubt thou wilt shortly see thy detested +paramour. This scene will be again polluted by a midnight +assignation. Inform him of his danger; tell him that his crimes +are known; let him fly far and instantly from this spot, if he +desires to avoid the fate which menaced him in Ireland. + +"And wilt thou not stay behind?--But shame upon my weakness. +I know not what I would say.--I have done what I purposed. To +stay longer, to expostulate, to beseech, to enumerate the +consequences of thy act--what end can it serve but to blazon thy +infamy and embitter our woes? And yet, O think, think ere it be +too late, on the distresses which thy flight will entail upon +us; on the base, grovelling, and atrocious character of the +wretch to whom thou hast sold thy honor. But what is this? Is +not thy effrontery impenetrable, and thy heart thoroughly +cankered? O most specious, and most profligate of women!" + +Saying this, he rushed out of the house. I saw him in a few +moments hurrying along the path which led to my brother's. I +had no power to prevent his going, or to recall, or to follow +him. The accents I had heard were calculated to confound and +bewilder. I looked around me to assure myself that the scene +was real. I moved that I might banish the doubt that I was +awake. Such enormous imputations from the mouth of Pleyel! To +be stigmatized with the names of wanton and profligate! To be +charged with the sacrifice of honor! with midnight meetings with +a wretch known to be a murderer and thief! with an intention to +fly in his company! + +What I had heard was surely the dictate of phrenzy, or it was +built upon some fatal, some incomprehensible mistake. After the +horrors of the night; after undergoing perils so imminent from +this man, to be summoned to an interview like this; to find +Pleyel fraught with a belief that, instead of having chosen +death as a refuge from the violence of this man, I had hugged +his baseness to my heart, had sacrificed for him my purity, my +spotless name, my friendships, and my fortune! that even madness +could engender accusations like these was not to be believed. + +What evidence could possibly suggest conceptions so wild? +After the unlooked-for interview with Carwin in my chamber, he +retired. Could Pleyel have observed his exit? It was not long +after that Pleyel himself entered. Did he build on this +incident, his odious conclusions? Could the long series of my +actions and sentiments grant me no exemption from suspicions so +foul? Was it not more rational to infer that Carwin's designs +had been illicit; that my life had been endangered by the fury +of one whom, by some means, he had discovered to be an assassin +and robber; that my honor had been assailed, not by +blandishments, but by violence? + +He has judged me without hearing. He has drawn from dubious +appearances, conclusions the most improbable and unjust. He has +loaded me with all outrageous epithets. He has ranked me with +prostitutes and thieves. I cannot pardon thee, Pleyel, for this +injustice. Thy understanding must be hurt. If it be not, if +thy conduct was sober and deliberate, I can never forgive an +outrage so unmanly, and so gross. + +These thoughts gradually gave place to others. Pleyel was +possessed by some momentary phrenzy: appearances had led him +into palpable errors. Whence could his sagacity have contracted +this blindness? Was it not love? Previously assured of my +affection for Carwin, distracted with grief and jealousy, and +impelled hither at that late hour by some unknown instigation, +his imagination transformed shadows into monsters, and plunged +him into these deplorable errors. + +This idea was not unattended with consolation. My soul was +divided between indignation at his injustice, and delight on +account of the source from which I conceived it to spring. For +a long time they would allow admission to no other thoughts. +Surprize is an emotion that enfeebles, not invigorates. All my +meditations were accompanied with wonder. I rambled with +vagueness, or clung to one image with an obstinacy which +sufficiently testified the maddening influence of late +transactions. + +Gradually I proceeded to reflect upon the consequences of +Pleyel's mistake, and on the measures I should take to guard +myself against future injury from Carwin. Should I suffer this +mistake to be detected by time? When his passion should +subside, would he not perceive the flagrancy of his injustice, +and hasten to atone for it? Did it not become my character to +testify resentment for language and treatment so opprobrious? +Wrapt up in the consciousness of innocence, and confiding in the +influence of time and reflection to confute so groundless a +charge, it was my province to be passive and silent. + +As to the violences meditated by Carwin, and the means of +eluding them, the path to be taken by me was obvious. I +resolved to tell the tale to my brother, and regulate myself by +his advice. For this end, when the morning was somewhat +advanced, I took the way to his house. My sister was engaged in +her customary occupations. As soon as I appeared, she remarked +a change in my looks. I was not willing to alarm her by the +information which I had to communicate. Her health was in that +condition which rendered a disastrous tale particularly +unsuitable. I forbore a direct answer to her inquiries, and +inquired, in my turn, for Wieland. + +"Why," said she, "I suspect something mysterious and +unpleasant has happened this morning. Scarcely had we risen +when Pleyel dropped among us. What could have prompted him to +make us so early and so unseasonable a visit I cannot tell. To +judge from the disorder of his dress, and his countenance, +something of an extraordinary nature has occurred. He permitted +me merely to know that he had slept none, nor even undressed, +during the past night. He took your brother to walk with him. +Some topic must have deeply engaged them, for Wieland did not +return till the breakfast hour was passed, and returned alone. +His disturbance was excessive; but he would not listen to my +importunities, or tell me what had happened. I gathered from +hints which he let fall, that your situation was, in some way, +the cause: yet he assured me that you were at your own house, +alive, in good health, and in perfect safety. He scarcely ate +a morsel, and immediately after breakfast went out again. He +would not inform me whither he was going, but mentioned that he +probably might not return before night." + +I was equally astonished and alarmed by this information. +Pleyel had told his tale to my brother, and had, by a plausible +and exaggerated picture, instilled into him unfavorable thoughts +of me. Yet would not the more correct judgment of Wieland +perceive and expose the fallacy of his conclusions? Perhaps his +uneasiness might arise from some insight into the character of +Carwin, and from apprehensions for my safety. The appearances +by which Pleyel had been misled, might induce him likewise to +believe that I entertained an indiscreet, though not +dishonorable affection for Carwin. Such were the conjectures +rapidly formed. I was inexpressibly anxious to change them into +certainty. For this end an interview with my brother was +desirable. He was gone, no one knew whither, and was not +expected speedily to return. I had no clue by which to trace +his footsteps. + +My anxieties could not be concealed from my sister. They +heightened her solicitude to be acquainted with the cause. +There were many reasons persuading me to silence: at least, +till I had seen my brother, it would be an act of inexcusable +temerity to unfold what had lately passed. No other expedient +for eluding her importunities occurred to me, but that of +returning to my own house. I recollected my determination to +become a tenant of this roof. I mentioned it to her. She +joyfully acceded to this proposal, and suffered me, with less +reluctance, to depart, when I told her that it was with a view +to collect and send to my new dwelling what articles would be +immediately useful to me. + +Once more I returned to the house which had been the scene of +so much turbulence and danger. I was at no great distance from +it when I observed my brother coming out. On seeing me he +stopped, and after ascertaining, as it seemed, which way I was +going, he returned into the house before me. I sincerely +rejoiced at this event, and I hastened to set things, if +possible, on their right footing. + +His brow was by no means expressive of those vehement +emotions with which Pleyel had been agitated. I drew a +favorable omen from this circumstance. Without delay I began +the conversation. + +"I have been to look for you," said I, "but was told by +Catharine that Pleyel had engaged you on some important and +disagreeable affair. Before his interview with you he spent a +few minutes with me. These minutes he employed in upbraiding me +for crimes and intentions with which I am by no means +chargeable. I believe him to have taken up his opinions on very +insufficient grounds. His behaviour was in the highest degree +precipitate and unjust, and, until I receive some atonement, I +shall treat him, in my turn, with that contempt which he justly +merits: meanwhile I am fearful that he has prejudiced my +brother against me. That is an evil which I most anxiously +deprecate, and which I shall indeed exert myself to remove. Has +he made me the subject of this morning's conversation?" + +My brother's countenance testified no surprize at my address. +The benignity of his looks were no wise diminished. + +"It is true," said he, "your conduct was the subject of our +discourse. I am your friend, as well as your brother. There is +no human being whom I love with more tenderness, and whose +welfare is nearer my heart. Judge then with what emotions I +listened to Pleyel's story. I expect and desire you to +vindicate yourself from aspersions so foul, if vindication be +possible." + +The tone with which he uttered the last words affected me +deeply. "If vindication be possible!" repeated I. "From what +you know, do you deem a formal vindication necessary? Can you +harbour for a moment the belief of my guilt?" + +He shook his head with an air of acute anguish. "I have +struggled," said he, "to dismiss that belief. You speak before +a judge who will profit by any pretence to acquit you: who is +ready to question his own senses when they plead against you." + +These words incited a new set of thoughts in my mind. I +began to suspect that Pleyel had built his accusations on some +foundation unknown to me. "I may be a stranger to the grounds +of your belief. Pleyel loaded me with indecent and virulent +invectives, but he withheld from me the facts that generated his +suspicions. Events took place last night of which some of the +circumstances were of an ambiguous nature. I conceived that +these might possibly have fallen under his cognizance, and that, +viewed through the mists of prejudice and passion, they supplied +a pretence for his conduct, but believed that your more +unbiassed judgment would estimate them at their just value. +Perhaps his tale has been different from what I suspect it to +be. Listen then to my narrative. If there be any thing in his +story inconsistent with mine, his story is false." + +I then proceeded to a circumstantial relation of the +incidents of the last night. Wieland listened with deep +attention. Having finished, "This," continued I, "is the truth; +you see in what circumstances an interview took place between +Carwin and me. He remained for hours in my closet, and for some +minutes in my chamber. He departed without haste or +interruption. If Pleyel marked him as he left the house, and it +is not impossible that he did, inferences injurious to my +character might suggest themselves to him. In admitting them, +he gave proofs of less discernment and less candor than I once +ascribed to him." + +"His proofs," said Wieland, after a considerable pause, "are +different. That he should be deceived, is not possible. That +he himself is not the deceiver, could not be believed, if his +testimony were not inconsistent with yours; but the doubts which +I entertained are now removed. Your tale, some parts of it, is +marvellous; the voice which exclaimed against your rashness in +approaching the closet, your persisting notwithstanding that +prohibition, your belief that I was the ruffian, and your +subsequent conduct, are believed by me, because I have known you +from childhood, because a thousand instances have attested your +veracity, and because nothing less than my own hearing and +vision would convince me, in opposition to her own assertions, +that my sister had fallen into wickedness like this." + +I threw my arms around him, and bathed his cheek with my +tears. "That," said I, "is spoken like my brother. But what +are the proofs?" + +He replied--"Pleyel informed me that, in going to your house, +his attention was attracted by two voices. The persons speaking +sat beneath the bank out of sight. These persons, judging by +their voices, were Carwin and you. I will not repeat the +dialogue. If my sister was the female, Pleyel was justified in +concluding you to be, indeed, one of the most profligate of +women. Hence, his accusations of you, and his efforts to obtain +my concurrence to a plan by which an eternal separation should +be brought about between my sister and this man." + +I made Wieland repeat this recital. Here, indeed, was a tale +to fill me with terrible foreboding. I had vainly thought that +my safety could be sufficiently secured by doors and bars, but +this is a foe from whose grasp no power of divinity can save me! +His artifices will ever lay my fame and happiness at his mercy. +How shall I counterwork his plots, or detect his coadjutor? He +has taught some vile and abandoned female to mimic my voice. +Pleyel's ears were the witnesses of my dishonor. This is the +midnight assignation to which he alluded. Thus is the silence +he maintained when attempting to open the door of my chamber, +accounted for. He supposed me absent, and meant, perhaps, had +my apartment been accessible, to leave in it some accusing +memorial. + +Pleyel was no longer equally culpable. The sincerity of his +anguish, the depth of his despair, I remembered with some +tendencies to gratitude. Yet was he not precipitate? Was the +conjecture that my part was played by some mimic so utterly +untenable? Instances of this faculty are common. The +wickedness of Carwin must, in his opinion, have been adequate to +such contrivances, and yet the supposition of my guilt was +adopted in preference to that. + +But how was this error to be unveiled? What but my own +assertion had I to throw in the balance against it? Would this +be permitted to outweigh the testimony of his senses? I had no +witnesses to prove my existence in another place. The real +events of that night are marvellous. Few, to whom they should +be related, would scruple to discredit them. Pleyel is +sceptical in a transcendant degree. I cannot summon Carwin to +my bar, and make him the attestor of my innocence, and the +accuser of himself. + +My brother saw and comprehended my distress. He was +unacquainted, however, with the full extent of it. He knew not +by how many motives I was incited to retrieve the good opinion +of Pleyel. He endeavored to console me. Some new event, he +said, would occur to disentangle the maze. He did not question +the influence of my eloquence, if I thought proper to exert it. +Why not seek an interview with Pleyel, and exact from him a +minute relation, in which something may be met with serving to +destroy the probability of the whole? + +I caught, with eagerness, at this hope; but my alacrity was +damped by new reflections. Should I, perfect in this respect, +and unblemished as I was, thrust myself, uncalled, into his +presence, and make my felicity depend upon his arbitrary +verdict? + +"If you chuse to seek an interview," continued Wieland, "you +must make haste, for Pleyel informed me of his intention to set +out this evening or to-morrow on a long journey." + +No intelligence was less expected or less welcome than this. +I had thrown myself in a window seat; but now, starting on my +feet, I exclaimed, "Good heavens! what is it you say? a +journey? whither? when?" + +"I cannot say whither. It is a sudden resolution I believe. +I did not hear of it till this morning. He promises to write to +me as soon as he is settled." + +I needed no further information as to the cause and issue of +this journey. The scheme of happiness to which he had devoted +his thoughts was blasted by the discovery of last night. My +preference of another, and my unworthiness to be any longer the +object of his adoration, were evinced by the same act and in the +same moment. The thought of utter desertion, a desertion +originating in such a cause, was the prelude to distraction. +That Pleyel should abandon me forever, because I was blind to +his excellence, because I coveted pollution, and wedded infamy, +when, on the contrary, my heart was the shrine of all purity, +and beat only for his sake, was a destiny which, as long as my +life was in my own hands, I would by no means consent to endure. + +I remembered that this evil was still preventable; that this +fatal journey it was still in my power to procrastinate, or, +perhaps, to occasion it to be laid aside. There were no +impediments to a visit: I only dreaded lest the interview +should be too long delayed. My brother befriended my +impatience, and readily consented to furnish me with a chaise +and servant to attend me. My purpose was to go immediately to +Pleyel's farm, where his engagements usually detained him during +the day. + + + +Chapter XII + + +My way lay through the city. I had scarcely entered it when +I was seized with a general sensation of sickness. Every object +grew dim and swam before my sight. It was with difficulty I +prevented myself from sinking to the bottom of the carriage. I +ordered myself to be carried to Mrs. Baynton's, in hope that an +interval of repose would invigorate and refresh me. My +distracted thoughts would allow me but little rest. Growing +somewhat better in the afternoon, I resumed my journey. + +My contemplations were limited to a few objects. I regarded +my success, in the purpose which I had in view, as considerably +doubtful. I depended, in some degree, on the suggestions of the +moment, and on the materials which Pleyel himself should furnish +me. When I reflected on the nature of the accusation, I burned +with disdain. Would not truth, and the consciousness of +innocence, render me triumphant? Should I not cast from me, +with irresistible force, such atrocious imputations? + +What an entire and mournful change has been effected in a few +hours! The gulf that separates man from insects is not wider +than that which severs the polluted from the chaste among women. +Yesterday and to-day I am the same. There is a degree of +depravity to which it is impossible for me to sink; yet, in the +apprehension of another, my ancient and intimate associate, the +perpetual witness of my actions, and partaker of my thoughts, I +had ceased to be the same. My integrity was tarnished and +withered in his eyes. I was the colleague of a murderer, and +the paramour of a thief! + +His opinion was not destitute of evidence: yet what proofs +could reasonably avail to establish an opinion like this? If +the sentiments corresponded not with the voice that was heard, +the evidence was deficient; but this want of correspondence +would have been supposed by me if I had been the auditor and +Pleyel the criminal. But mimicry might still more plausibly +have been employed to explain the scene. Alas! it is the fate +of Clara Wieland to fall into the hands of a precipitate and +inexorable judge. + +But what, O man of mischief! is the tendency of thy thoughts? +Frustrated in thy first design, thou wilt not forego the +immolation of thy victim. To exterminate my reputation was all +that remained to thee, and this my guardian has permitted. To +dispossess Pleyel of this prejudice may be impossible; but if +that be effected, it cannot be supposed that thy wiles are +exhausted; thy cunning will discover innumerable avenues to the +accomplishment of thy malignant purpose. + +Why should I enter the lists against thee? Would to heaven +I could disarm thy vengeance by my deprecations! When I think +of all the resources with which nature and education have +supplied thee; that thy form is a combination of steely fibres +and organs of exquisite ductility and boundless compass, +actuated by an intelligence gifted with infinite endowments, and +comprehending all knowledge, I perceive that my doom is fixed. +What obstacle will be able to divert thy zeal or repel thy +efforts? That being who has hitherto protected me has borne +testimony to the formidableness of thy attempts, since nothing +less than supernatural interference could check thy career. + +Musing on these thoughts, I arrived, towards the close of the +day, at Pleyel's house. A month before, I had traversed the +same path; but how different were my sensations! Now I was +seeking the presence of one who regarded me as the most +degenerate of human kind. I was to plead the cause of my +innocence, against witnesses the most explicit and unerring, of +those which support the fabric of human knowledge. The nearer +I approached the crisis, the more did my confidence decay. When +the chaise stopped at the door, my strength refused to support +me, and I threw myself into the arms of an ancient female +domestic. I had not courage to inquire whether her master was +at home. I was tormented with fears that the projected journey +was already undertaken. These fears were removed, by her asking +me whether she should call her young master, who had just gone +into his own room. I was somewhat revived by this intelligence, +and resolved immediately to seek him there. + +In my confusion of mind, I neglected to knock at the door, +but entered his apartment without previous notice. This +abruptness was altogether involuntary. Absorbed in reflections +of such unspeakable moment, I had no leisure to heed the +niceties of punctilio. I discovered him standing with his back +towards the entrance. A small trunk, with its lid raised, was +before him in which it seemed as if he had been busy in packing +his clothes. The moment of my entrance, he was employed in +gazing at something which he held in his hand. + +I imagined that I fully comprehended this scene. The image +which he held before him, and by which his attention was so +deeply engaged, I doubted not to be my own. These preparations +for his journey, the cause to which it was to be imputed, the +hopelessness of success in the undertaking on which I had +entered, rushed at once upon my feelings, and dissolved me into +a flood of tears. + +Startled by this sound, he dropped the lid of the trunk and +turned. The solemn sadness that previously overspread his +countenance, gave sudden way to an attitude and look of the most +vehement astonishment. Perceiving me unable to uphold myself, +he stepped towards me without speaking, and supported me by his +arm. The kindness of this action called forth a new effusion +from my eyes. Weeping was a solace to which, at that time, I +had not grown familiar, and which, therefore, was peculiarly +delicious. Indignation was no longer to be read in the features +of my friend. They were pregnant with a mixture of wonder and +pity. Their expression was easily interpreted. This visit, and +these tears, were tokens of my penitence. The wretch whom he +had stigmatized as incurably and obdurately wicked, now shewed +herself susceptible of remorse, and had come to confess her +guilt. + +This persuasion had no tendency to comfort me. It only +shewed me, with new evidence, the difficulty of the task which +I had assigned myself. We were mutually silent. I had less +power and less inclination than ever to speak. I extricated +myself from his hold, and threw myself on a sofa. He placed +himself by my side, and appeared to wait with impatience and +anxiety for some beginning of the conversation. What could I +say? If my mind had suggested any thing suitable to the +occasion, my utterance was suffocated by tears. + +Frequently he attempted to speak, but seemed deterred by some +degree of uncertainty as to the true nature of the scene. At +length, in faltering accents he spoke: + +"My friend! would to heaven I were still permitted to call +you by that name. The image that I once adored existed only in +my fancy; but though I cannot hope to see it realized, you may +not be totally insensible to the horrors of that gulf into which +you are about to plunge. What heart is forever exempt from the +goadings of compunction and the influx of laudable propensities? + +"I thought you accomplished and wise beyond the rest of +women. Not a sentiment you uttered, not a look you assumed, +that were not, in my apprehension, fraught with the sublimities +of rectitude and the illuminations of genius. Deceit has some +bounds. Your education could not be without influence. A +vigorous understanding cannot be utterly devoid of virtue; but +you could not counterfeit the powers of invention and reasoning. +I was rash in my invectives. I will not, but with life, +relinquish all hopes of you. I will shut out every proof that +would tell me that your heart is incurably diseased. + +"You come to restore me once more to happiness; to convince +me that you have torn her mask from vice, and feel nothing but +abhorrence for the part you have hitherto acted." + +At these words my equanimity forsook me. For a moment I +forgot the evidence from which Pleyel's opinions were derived, +the benevolence of his remonstrances, and the grief which his +accents bespoke; I was filled with indignation and horror at +charges so black; I shrunk back and darted at him a look of +disdain and anger. My passion supplied me with words. + +"What detestable infatuation was it that led me hither! Why +do I patiently endure these horrible insults! My offences exist +only in your own distempered imagination: you are leagued with +the traitor who assailed my life: you have vowed the +destruction of my peace and honor. I deserve infamy for +listening to calumnies so base!" + +These words were heard by Pleyel without visible resentment. +His countenance relapsed into its former gloom; but he did not +even look at me. The ideas which had given place to my angry +emotions returned, and once more melted me into tears. "O!" I +exclaimed, in a voice broken by sobs, "what a task is mine! +Compelled to hearken to charges which I feel to be false, but +which I know to be believed by him that utters them; believed +too not without evidence, which, though fallacious, is not +unplausible. + +"I came hither not to confess, but to vindicate. I know the +source of your opinions. Wieland has informed me on what your +suspicions are built. These suspicions are fostered by you as +certainties; the tenor of my life, of all my conversations and +letters, affords me no security; every sentiment that my tongue +and my pen have uttered, bear testimony to the rectitude of my +mind; but this testimony is rejected. I am condemned as +brutally profligate: I am classed with the stupidly and +sordidly wicked. + +"And where are the proofs that must justify so foul and so +improbable an accusation? You have overheard a midnight +conference. Voices have saluted your ear, in which you imagine +yourself to have recognized mine, and that of a detected +villain. The sentiments expressed were not allowed to outweigh +the casual or concerted resemblance of voice. Sentiments the +reverse of all those whose influence my former life had +attested, denoting a mind polluted by grovelling vices, and +entering into compact with that of a thief and a murderer. The +nature of these sentiments did not enable you to detect the +cheat, did not suggest to you the possibility that my voice had +been counterfeited by another. + +"You were precipitate and prone to condemn. Instead of +rushing on the impostors, and comparing the evidence of sight +with that of hearing, you stood aloof, or you fled. My +innocence would not now have stood in need of vindication, if +this conduct had been pursued. That you did not pursue it, your +present thoughts incontestibly prove. Yet this conduct might +surely have been expected from Pleyel. That he would not +hastily impute the blackest of crimes, that he would not couple +my name with infamy, and cover me with ruin for inadequate or +slight reasons, might reasonably have been expected." The sobs +which convulsed my bosom would not suffer me to proceed. + +Pleyel was for a moment affected. He looked at me with some +expression of doubt; but this quickly gave place to a mournful +solemnity. He fixed his eyes on the floor as in reverie, and +spoke: + +"Two hours hence I am gone. Shall I carry away with me the +sorrow that is now my guest? or shall that sorrow be +accumulated tenfold? What is she that is now before me? Shall +every hour supply me with new proofs of a wickedness beyond +example? Already I deem her the most abandoned and detestable +of human creatures. Her coming and her tears imparted a gleam +of hope, but that gleam has vanished." + +He now fixed his eyes upon me, and every muscle in his face +trembled. His tone was hollow and terrible--"Thou knowest that +I was a witness of your interview, yet thou comest hither to +upbraid me for injustice! Thou canst look me in the face and +say that I am deceived!--An inscrutable providence has fashioned +thee for some end. Thou wilt live, no doubt, to fulfil the +purposes of thy maker, if he repent not of his workmanship, and +send not his vengeance to exterminate thee, ere the measure of +thy days be full. Surely nothing in the shape of man can vie +with thee! + +"But I thought I had stifled this fury. I am not constituted +thy judge. My office is to pity and amend, and not to punish +and revile. I deemed myself exempt from all tempestuous +passions. I had almost persuaded myself to weep over thy fall; +but I am frail as dust, and mutable as water; I am calm, I am +compassionate only in thy absence.--Make this house, this room, +thy abode as long as thou wilt, but forgive me if I prefer +solitude for the short time during which I shall stay." Saying +this, he motioned as if to leave the apartment. + +The stormy passions of this man affected me by sympathy. I +ceased to weep. I was motionless and speechless with agony. I +sat with my hands clasped, mutely gazing after him as he +withdrew. I desired to detain him, but was unable to make any +effort for that purpose, till he had passed out of the room. I +then uttered an involuntary and piercing cry--"Pleyel! Art thou +gone? Gone forever?" + +At this summons he hastily returned. He beheld me wild, +pale, gasping for breath, and my head already sinking on my +bosom. A painful dizziness seized me, and I fainted away. + +When I recovered, I found myself stretched on a bed in the +outer apartment, and Pleyel, with two female servants standing +beside it. All the fury and scorn which the countenance of the +former lately expressed, had now disappeared, and was succeeded +by the most tender anxiety. As soon as he perceived that my +senses were returned to me, he clasped his hands, and exclaimed, +"God be thanked! you are once more alive. I had almost +despaired of your recovery. I fear I have been precipitate and +unjust. My senses must have been the victims of some +inexplicable and momentary phrenzy. Forgive me, I beseech you, +forgive my reproaches. I would purchase conviction of your +purity, at the price of my existence here and hereafter." + +He once more, in a tone of the most fervent tenderness, +besought me to be composed, and then left me to the care of the +women. + + + +Chapter XIII + + +Here was wrought a surprizing change in my friend. What was +it that had shaken conviction so firm? Had any thing occurred +during my fit, adequate to produce so total an alteration? My +attendants informed me that he had not left my apartment; that +the unusual duration of my fit, and the failure, for a time, of +all the means used for my recovery, had filled him with grief +and dismay. Did he regard the effect which his reproaches had +produced as a proof of my sincerity? + +In this state of mind, I little regarded my languors of body. +I rose and requested an interview with him before my departure, +on which I was resolved, notwithstanding his earnest +solicitation to spend the night at his house. He complied with +my request. The tenderness which he had lately betrayed, had +now disappeared, and he once more relapsed into a chilling +solemnity. + +I told him that I was preparing to return to my brother's; +that I had come hither to vindicate my innocence from the foul +aspersions which he had cast upon it. My pride had not taken +refuge in silence or distance. I had not relied upon time, or +the suggestion of his cooler thoughts, to confute his charges. +Conscious as I was that I was perfectly guiltless, and +entertaining some value for his good opinion, I could not +prevail upon myself to believe that my efforts to make my +innocence manifest, would be fruitless. Adverse appearances +might be numerous and specious, but they were unquestionably +false. I was willing to believe him sincere, that he made no +charges which he himself did not believe; but these charges were +destitute of truth. The grounds of his opinion were fallacious; +and I desired an opportunity of detecting their fallacy. I +entreated him to be explicit, and to give me a detail of what he +had heard, and what he had seen. + +At these words, my companion's countenance grew darker. He +appeared to be struggling with his rage. He opened his lips to +speak, but his accents died away ere they were formed. This +conflict lasted for some minutes, but his fortitude was finally +successful. He spoke as follows: + +"I would fain put an end to this hateful scene: what I shall +say, will be breath idly and unprofitably consumed. The +clearest narrative will add nothing to your present knowledge. +You are acquainted with the grounds of my opinion, and yet you +avow yourself innocent: Why then should I rehearse these +grounds? You are apprized of the character of Carwin: Why then +should I enumerate the discoveries which I have made respecting +him? Yet, since it is your request; since, considering the +limitedness of human faculties, some error may possibly lurk in +those appearances which I have witnessed, I will briefly relate +what I know. + +"Need I dwell upon the impressions which your conversation +and deportment originally made upon me? We parted in childhood; +but our intercourse, by letter, was copious and uninterrupted. +How fondly did I anticipate a meeting with one whom her letters +had previously taught me to consider as the first of women, and +how fully realized were the expectations that I had formed! + +"Here, said I, is a being, after whom sages may model their +transcendent intelligence, and painters, their ideal beauty. +Here is exemplified, that union between intellect and form, +which has hitherto existed only in the conceptions of the poet. +I have watched your eyes; my attention has hung upon your lips. +I have questioned whether the enchantments of your voice were +more conspicuous in the intricacies of melody, or the emphasis +of rhetoric. I have marked the transitions of your discourse, +the felicities of your expression, your refined argumentation, +and glowing imagery; and been forced to acknowledge, that all +delights were meagre and contemptible, compared with those +connected with the audience and sight of you. I have +contemplated your principles, and been astonished at the +solidity of their foundation, and the perfection of their +structure. I have traced you to your home. I have viewed you +in relation to your servants, to your family, to your +neighbours, and to the world. I have seen by what skilful +arrangements you facilitate the performance of the most arduous +and complicated duties; what daily accessions of strength your +judicious discipline bestowed upon your memory; what correctness +and abundance of knowledge was daily experienced by your +unwearied application to books, and to writing. If she that +possesses so much in the bloom of youth, will go on accumulating +her stores, what, said I, is the picture she will display at a +mature age? + +"You know not the accuracy of my observation. I was desirous +that others should profit by an example so rare. I therefore +noted down, in writing, every particular of your conduct. I was +anxious to benefit by an opportunity so seldom afforded us. I +laboured not to omit the slightest shade, or the most petty line +in your portrait. Here there was no other task incumbent on me +but to copy; there was no need to exaggerate or overlook, in +order to produce a more unexceptionable pattern. Here was a +combination of harmonies and graces, incapable of diminution or +accession without injury to its completeness. + +"I found no end and no bounds to my task. No display of a +scene like this could be chargeable with redundancy or +superfluity. Even the colour of a shoe, the knot of a ribband, +or your attitude in plucking a rose, were of moment to be +recorded. Even the arrangements of your breakfast-table and +your toilet have been amply displayed. + +"I know that mankind are more easily enticed to virtue by +example than by precept. I know that the absoluteness of a +model, when supplied by invention, diminishes its salutary +influence, since it is useless, we think, to strive after that +which we know to be beyond our reach. But the picture which I +drew was not a phantom; as a model, it was devoid of +imperfection; and to aspire to that height which had been really +attained, was by no means unreasonable. I had another and more +interesting object in view. One existed who claimed all my +tenderness. Here, in all its parts, was a model worthy of +assiduous study, and indefatigable imitation. I called upon +her, as she wished to secure and enhance my esteem, to mould her +thoughts, her words, her countenance, her actions, by this +pattern. + +"The task was exuberant of pleasure, and I was deeply engaged +in it, when an imp of mischief was let loose in the form of +Carwin. I admired his powers and accomplishments. I did not +wonder that they were admired by you. On the rectitude of your +judgement, however, I relied to keep this admiration within +discreet and scrupulous bounds. I assured myself, that the +strangeness of his deportment, and the obscurity of his life, +would teach you caution. Of all errors, my knowledge of your +character informed me that this was least likely to befall you. + +"You were powerfully affected by his first appearance; you +were bewitched by his countenance and his tones; your +description was ardent and pathetic: I listened to you with +some emotions of surprize. The portrait you drew in his +absence, and the intensity with which you mused upon it, were +new and unexpected incidents. They bespoke a sensibility +somewhat too vivid; but from which, while subjected to the +guidance of an understanding like yours, there was nothing to +dread. + +"A more direct intercourse took place between you. I need +not apologize for the solicitude which I entertained for your +safety. He that gifted me with perception of excellence, +compelled me to love it. In the midst of danger and pain, my +contemplations have ever been cheered by your image. Every +object in competition with you, was worthless and trivial. No +price was too great by which your safety could be purchased. +For that end, the sacrifice of ease, of health, and even of +life, would cheerfully have been made by me. What wonder then, +that I scrutinized the sentiments and deportment of this man +with ceaseless vigilance; that I watched your words and your +looks when he was present; and that I extracted cause for the +deepest inquietudes, from every token which you gave of having +put your happiness into this man's keeping? + +"I was cautious in deciding. I recalled the various +conversations in which the topics of love and marriage had been +discussed. As a woman, young, beautiful, and independent, it +behoved you to have fortified your mind with just principles on +this subject. Your principles were eminently just. Had not +their rectitude and their firmness been attested by your +treatment of that specious seducer Dashwood? These principles, +I was prone to believe, exempted you from danger in this new +state of things. I was not the last to pay my homage to the +unrivalled capacity, insinuation, and eloquence of this man. I +have disguised, but could never stifle the conviction, that his +eyes and voice had a witchcraft in them, which rendered him +truly formidable: but I reflected on the ambiguous expression +of his countenance--an ambiguity which you were the first to +remark; on the cloud which obscured his character; and on the +suspicious nature of that concealment which he studied; and +concluded you to be safe. I denied the obvious construction to +appearances. I referred your conduct to some principle which +had not been hitherto disclosed, but which was reconcileable +with those already known. + +"I was not suffered to remain long in this suspence. One +evening, you may recollect, I came to your house, where it was +my purpose, as usual, to lodge, somewhat earlier than ordinary. +I spied a light in your chamber as I approached from the +outside, and on inquiring of Judith, was informed that you were +writing. As your kinsman and friend, and fellow-lodger, I +thought I had a right to be familiar. You were in your chamber, +but your employment and the time were such as to make it no +infraction of decorum to follow you thither. The spirit of +mischievous gaiety possessed me. I proceeded on tiptoe. You +did not perceive my entrance; and I advanced softly till I was +able to overlook your shoulder. + +"I had gone thus far in error, and had no power to recede. +How cautiously should we guard against the first inroads of +temptation! I knew that to pry into your papers was criminal; +but I reflected that no sentiment of yours was of a nature which +made it your interest to conceal it. You wrote much more than +you permitted your friends to peruse. My curiosity was strong, +and I had only to throw a glance upon the paper, to secure its +gratification. I should never have deliberately committed an +act like this. The slightest obstacle would have repelled me; +but my eye glanced almost spontaneously upon the paper. I +caught only parts of sentences; but my eyes comprehended more at +a glance, because the characters were short-hand. I lighted on +the words SUMMER-HOUSE, MIDNIGHT, and made out a passage +which spoke of the propriety and of the effects to be expected +from ANOTHER interview. All this passed in less than a +moment. I then checked myself, and made myself known to you, +by a tap upon your shoulder. + +"I could pardon and account for some trifling alarm; but your +trepidation and blushes were excessive. You hurried the paper +out of sight, and seemed too anxious to discover whether I knew +the contents to allow yourself to make any inquiries. I +wondered at these appearances of consternation, but did not +reason on them until I had retired. When alone, these incidents +suggested themselves to my reflections anew. + +"To what scene, or what interview, I asked, did you allude? +Your disappearance on a former evening, my tracing you to the +recess in the bank, your silence on my first and second call, +your vague answers and invincible embarrassment, when you, at +length, ascended the hill, I recollected with new surprize. +Could this be the summerhouse alluded to? A certain timidity +and consciousness had generally attended you, when this incident +and this recess had been the subjects of conversation. Nay, I +imagined that the last time that adventure was mentioned, which +happened in the presence of Carwin, the countenance of the +latter betrayed some emotion. Could the interview have been +with him? + +"This was an idea calculated to rouse every faculty to +contemplation. An interview at that hour, in this darksome +retreat, with a man of this mysterious but formidable character; +a clandestine interview, and one which you afterwards +endeavoured with so much solicitude to conceal! It was a +fearful and portentous occurrence. I could not measure his +power, or fathom his designs. Had he rifled from you the secret +of your love, and reconciled you to concealment and noctural +meetings? I scarcely ever spent a night of more inquietude. + +"I knew not how to act. The ascertainment of this man's +character and views seemed to be, in the first place, necessary. +Had he openly preferred his suit to you, we should have been +impowered to make direct inquiries; but since he had chosen this +obscure path, it seemed reasonable to infer that his character +was exceptionable. It, at least, subjected us to the necessity +of resorting to other means of information. Yet the +improbability that you should commit a deed of such rashness, +made me reflect anew upon the insufficiency of those grounds on +which my suspicions had been built, and almost to condemn myself +for harbouring them. + +"Though it was mere conjecture that the interview spoken of +had taken place with Carwin, yet two ideas occurred to involve +me in the most painful doubts. This man's reasonings might be +so specious, and his artifices so profound, that, aided by the +passion which you had conceived for him, he had finally +succeeded; or his situation might be such as to justify the +secrecy which you maintained. In neither case did my wildest +reveries suggest to me, that your honor had been forfeited. + +"I could not talk with you on this subject. If the +imputation was false, its atrociousness would have justly drawn +upon me your resentment, and I must have explained by what facts +it had been suggested. If it were true, no benefit would follow +from the mention of it. You had chosen to conceal it for some +reasons, and whether these reasons were true or false, it was +proper to discover and remove them in the first place. Finally, +I acquiesced in the least painful supposition, trammelled as it +was with perplexities, that Carwin was upright, and that, if the +reasons of your silence were known, they would be found to be +just. + + + +Chapter XIV + + +"Three days have elapsed since this occurrence. I have been +haunted by perpetual inquietude. To bring myself to regard +Carwin without terror, and to acquiesce in the belief of your +safety, was impossible. Yet to put an end to my doubts, seemed +to be impracticable. If some light could be reflected on the +actual situation of this man, a direct path would present +itself. If he were, contrary to the tenor of his conversation, +cunning and malignant, to apprize you of this, would be to place +you in security. If he were merely unfortunate and innocent, +most readily would I espouse his cause; and if his intentions +were upright with regard to you, most eagerly would I sanctify +your choice by my approbation. + +"It would be vain to call upon Carwin for an avowal of his +deeds. It was better to know nothing, than to be deceived by an +artful tale. What he was unwilling to communicate, and this +unwillingness had been repeatedly manifested, could never be +extorted from him. Importunity might be appeased, or imposture +effected by fallacious representations. To the rest of the +world he was unknown. I had often made him the subject of +discourse; but a glimpse of his figure in the street was the sum +of their knowledge who knew most. None had ever seen him +before, and received as new, the information which my +intercourse with him in Valencia, and my present intercourse, +enabled me to give. + +"Wieland was your brother. If he had really made you the +object of his courtship, was not a brother authorized to +interfere and demand from him the confession of his views? Yet +what were the grounds on which I had reared this supposition? +Would they justify a measure like this? Surely not. + +"In the course of my restless meditations, it occurred to me, +at length, that my duty required me to speak to you, to confess +the indecorum of which I had been guilty, and to state the +reflections to which it had led me. I was prompted by no mean +or selfish views. The heart within my breast was not more +precious than your safety: most cheerfully would I have +interposed my life between you and danger. Would you cherish +resentment at my conduct? When acquainted with the motive which +produced it, it would not only exempt me from censure, but +entitle me to gratitude. + +"Yesterday had been selected for the rehearsal of the +newly-imported tragedy. I promised to be present. The state of +my thoughts but little qualified me for a performer or auditor +in such a scene; but I reflected that, after it was finished, I +should return home with you, and should then enjoy an +opportunity of discoursing with you fully on this topic. My +resolution was not formed without a remnant of doubt, as to its +propriety. When I left this house to perform the visit I had +promised, my mind was full of apprehension and despondency. The +dubiousness of the event of our conversation, fear that my +interference was too late to secure your peace, and the +uncertainty to which hope gave birth, whether I had not erred in +believing you devoted to this man, or, at least, in imagining +that he had obtained your consent to midnight conferences, +distracted me with contradictory opinions, and repugnant +emotions. + +"I can assign no reason for calling at Mrs. Baynton's. I had +seen her in the morning, and knew her to be well. The concerted +hour had nearly arrived, and yet I turned up the street which +leads to her house, and dismounted at her door. I entered the +parlour and threw myself in a chair. I saw and inquired for no +one. My whole frame was overpowered by dreary and comfortless +sensations. One idea possessed me wholly; the inexpressible +importance of unveiling the designs and character of Carwin, and +the utter improbability that this ever would be effected. Some +instinct induced me to lay my hand upon a newspaper. I had +perused all the general intelligence it contained in the +morning, and at the same spot. The act was rather mechanical +than voluntary. + +"I threw a languid glance at the first column that presented +itself. The first words which I read, began with the offer of +a reward of three hundred guineas for the apprehension of a +convict under sentence of death, who had escaped from Newgate +prison in Dublin. Good heaven! how every fibre of my frame +tingled when I proceeded to read that the name of the criminal +was Francis Carwin! + +"The descriptions of his person and address were minute. His +stature, hair, complexion, the extraordinary position and +arrangement of his features, his aukward and disproportionate +form, his gesture and gait, corresponded perfectly with those of +our mysterious visitant. He had been found guilty in two +indictments. One for the murder of the Lady Jane Conway, and +the other for a robbery committed on the person of the honorable +Mr. Ludloe. + +"I repeatedly perused this passage. The ideas which flowed +in upon my mind, affected me like an instant transition from +death to life. The purpose dearest to my heart was thus +effected, at a time and by means the least of all others within +the scope of my foresight. But what purpose? Carwin was +detected. Acts of the blackest and most sordid guilt had been +committed by him. Here was evidence which imparted to my +understanding the most luminous certainty. The name, visage, +and deportment, were the same. Between the time of his escape, +and his appearance among us, there was a sufficient agreement. +Such was the man with whom I suspected you to maintain a +clandestine correspondence. Should I not haste to snatch you +from the talons of this vulture? Should I see you rushing to +the verge of a dizzy precipice, and not stretch forth a hand to +pull you back? I had no need to deliberate. I thrust the paper +in my pocket, and resolved to obtain an immediate conference +with you. For a time, no other image made its way to my +understanding. At length, it occurred to me, that though the +information I possessed was, in one sense, sufficient, yet if +more could be obtained, more was desirable. This passage was +copied from a British paper; part of it only, perhaps, was +transcribed. The printer was in possession of the original. + +"Towards his house I immediately turned my horse's head. He +produced the paper, but I found nothing more than had already +been seen. While busy in perusing it, the printer stood by my +side. He noticed the object of which I was in search. "Aye," +said he, "that is a strange affair. I should never have met +with it, had not Mr. Hallet sent to me the paper, with a +particular request to republish that advertisement." + +"Mr. Hallet! What reasons could he have for making this +request? Had the paper sent to him been accompanied by any +information respecting the convict? Had he personal or +extraordinary reasons for desiring its republication? This was +to be known only in one way. I speeded to his house. In answer +to my interrogations, he told me that Ludloe had formerly been +in America, and that during his residence in this city, +considerable intercourse had taken place between them. Hence a +confidence arose, which has since been kept alive by occasional +letters. He had lately received a letter from him, enclosing +the newspaper from which this extract had been made. He put it +into my hands, and pointed out the passages which related to +Carwin. + +"Ludloe confirms the facts of his conviction and escape; and +adds, that he had reason to believe him to have embarked for +America. He describes him in general terms, as the most +incomprehensible and formidable among men; as engaged in +schemes, reasonably suspected to be, in the highest degree, +criminal, but such as no human intelligence is able to unravel: +that his ends are pursued by means which leave it in doubt +whether he be not in league with some infernal spirit: that his +crimes have hitherto been perpetrated with the aid of some +unknown but desperate accomplices: that he wages a perpetual +war against the happiness of mankind, and sets his engines of +destruction at work against every object that presents itself. + +"This is the substance of the letter. Hallet expressed some +surprize at the curiosity which was manifested by me on this +occasion. I was too much absorbed by the ideas suggested by +this letter, to pay attention to his remarks. I shuddered with +the apprehension of the evil to which our indiscreet familiarity +with this man had probably exposed us. I burnt with impatience +to see you, and to do what in me lay to avert the calamity which +threatened us. It was already five o'clock. Night was +hastening, and there was no time to be lost. On leaving Mr. +Hallet's house, who should meet me in the street, but Bertrand, +the servant whom I left in Germany. His appearance and +accoutrements bespoke him to have just alighted from a toilsome +and long journey. I was not wholly without expectation of +seeing him about this time, but no one was then more distant +from my thoughts. You know what reasons I have for anxiety +respecting scenes with which this man was conversant. Carwin +was for a moment forgotten. In answer to my vehement inquiries, +Bertrand produced a copious packet. I shall not at present +mention its contents, nor the measures which they obliged me to +adopt. I bestowed a brief perusal on these papers, and having +given some directions to Bertrand, resumed my purpose with +regard to you. My horse I was obliged to resign to my servant, +he being charged with a commission that required speed. The +clock had struck ten, and Mettingen was five miles distant. I +was to Journey thither on foot. These circumstances only added +to my expedition. + +"As I passed swiftly along, I reviewed all the incidents +accompanying the appearance and deportment of that man among us. +Late events have been inexplicable and mysterious beyond any of +which I have either read or heard. These events were coeval +with Carwin's introduction. I am unable to explain their origin +and mutual dependance; but I do not, on that account, believe +them to have a supernatural origin. Is not this man the agent? +Some of them seem to be propitious; but what should I think of +those threats of assassination with which you were lately +alarmed? Bloodshed is the trade, and horror is the element of +this man. The process by which the sympathies of nature are +extinguished in our hearts, by which evil is made our good, and +by which we are made susceptible of no activity but in the +infliction, and no joy but in the spectacle of woes, is an +obvious process. As to an alliance with evil geniuses, the +power and the malice of daemons have been a thousand times +exemplified in human beings. There are no devils but those +which are begotten upon selfishness, and reared by cunning. + +"Now, indeed, the scene was changed. It was not his secret +poniard that I dreaded. It was only the success of his efforts +to make you a confederate in your own destruction, to make your +will the instrument by which he might bereave you of liberty and +honor. + +"I took, as usual, the path through your brother's ground. +I ranged with celerity and silence along the bank. I approached +the fence, which divides Wieland's estate from yours. The +recess in the bank being near this line, it being necessary for +me to pass near it, my mind being tainted with inveterate +suspicions concerning you; suspicions which were indebted for +their strength to incidents connected with this spot; what +wonder that it seized upon my thoughts! +"I leaped on the fence; but before I descended on the +opposite side, I paused to survey the scene. Leaves dropping +with dew, and glistening in the moon's rays, with no moving +object to molest the deep repose, filled me with security and +hope. I left the station at length, and tended forward. You +were probably at rest. How should I communicate without +alarming you, the intelligence of my arrival? An immediate +interview was to be procured. I could not bear to think that a +minute should be lost by remissness or hesitation. Should I +knock at the door? or should I stand under your chamber +windows, which I perceived to be open, and awaken you by my +calls? + +"These reflections employed me, as I passed opposite to the +summer-house. I had scarcely gone by, when my ear caught a +sound unusual at this time and place. It was almost too faint +and too transient to allow me a distinct perception of it. I +stopped to listen; presently it was heard again, and now it was +somewhat in a louder key. It was laughter; and unquestionably +produced by a female voice. That voice was familiar to my +senses. It was yours. + +"Whence it came, I was at first at a loss to conjecture; but +this uncertainty vanished when it was heard the third time. I +threw back my eyes towards the recess. Every other organ and +limb was useless to me. I did not reason on the subject. I did +not, in a direct manner, draw my conclusions from the hour, the +place, the hilarity which this sound betokened, and the +circumstance of having a companion, which it no less +incontestably proved. In an instant, as it were, my heart was +invaded with cold, and the pulses of life at a stand. + +"Why should I go further? Why should I return? Should I not +hurry to a distance from a sound, which, though formerly so +sweet and delectable, was now more hideous than the shrieks of +owls? + +"I had no time to yield to this impulse. The thought of +approaching and listening occurred to me. I had no doubt of +which I was conscious. Yet my certainty was capable of +increase. I was likewise stimulated by a sentiment that partook +of rage. I was governed by an half-formed and tempestuous +resolution to break in upon your interview, and strike you dead +with my upbraiding. + +"I approached with the utmost caution. When I reached the +edge of the bank immediately above the summer-house, I thought +I heard voices from below, as busy in conversation. The steps +in the rock are clear of bushy impediments. They allowed me to +descend into a cavity beside the building without being +detected. Thus to lie in wait could only be justified by the +momentousness of the occasion." + +Here Pleyel paused in his narrative, and fixed his eyes upon +me. Situated as I was, my horror and astonishment at this tale +gave way to compassion for the anguish which the countenance of +my friend betrayed. I reflected on his force of understanding. +I reflected on the powers of my enemy. I could easily divine +the substance of the conversation that was overheard. Carwin +had constructed his plot in a manner suited to the characters of +those whom he had selected for his victims. I saw that the +convictions of Pleyel were immutable. I forbore to struggle +against the storm, because I saw that all struggles would be +fruitless. I was calm; but my calmness was the torpor of +despair, and not the tranquillity of fortitude. It was calmness +invincible by any thing that his grief and his fury could +suggest to Pleyel. He resumed-- + +"Woman! wilt thou hear me further? Shall I go on to repeat +the conversation? Is it shame that makes thee tongue-tied? +Shall I go on? or art thou satisfied with what has been already +said?" + +I bowed my head. "Go on," said I. "I make not this request +in the hope of undeceiving you. I shall no longer contend with +my own weakness. The storm is let loose, and I shall peaceably +submit to be driven by its fury. But go on. This conference +will end only with affording me a clearer foresight of my +destiny; but that will be some satisfaction, and I will not part +without it." + +Why, on hearing these words, did Pleyel hesitate? Did some +unlooked-for doubt insinuate itself into his mind? Was his +belief suddenly shaken by my looks, or my words, or by some +newly recollected circumstance? Whencesoever it arose, it could +not endure the test of deliberation. In a few minutes the flame +of resentment was again lighted up in his bosom. He proceeded +with his accustomed vehemence-- + +"I hate myself for this folly. I can find no apology for +this tale. Yet I am irresistibly impelled to relate it. She +that hears me is apprized of every particular. I have only to +repeat to her her own words. She will listen with a tranquil +air, and the spectacle of her obduracy will drive me to some +desperate act. Why then should I persist! yet persist I must." + +Again he paused. "No," said he, "it is impossible to repeat +your avowals of love, your appeals to former confessions of your +tenderness, to former deeds of dishonor, to the circumstances of +the first interview that took place between you. It was on that +night when I traced you to this recess. Thither had he enticed +you, and there had you ratified an unhallowed compact by +admitting him-- + +"Great God! Thou witnessedst the agonies that tore my bosom +at that moment! Thou witnessedst my efforts to repel the +testimony of my ears! It was in vain that you dwelt upon the +confusion which my unlooked-for summons excited in you; the +tardiness with which a suitable excuse occurred to you; your +resentment that my impertinent intrusion had put an end to that +charming interview: A disappointment for which you endeavoured +to compensate yourself, by the frequency and duration of +subsequent meetings. + +"In vain you dwelt upon incidents of which you only could be +conscious; incidents that occurred on occasions on which none +beside your own family were witnesses. In vain was your +discourse characterized by peculiarities inimitable of sentiment +and language. My conviction was effected only by an +accumulation of the same tokens. I yielded not but to evidence +which took away the power to withhold my faith. + +"My sight was of no use to me. Beneath so thick an umbrage, +the darkness was intense. Hearing was the only avenue to +information, which the circumstances allowed to be open. I was +couched within three feet of you. Why should I approach nearer? +I could not contend with your betrayer. What could be the +purpose of a contest? You stood in no need of a protector. +What could I do, but retire from the spot overwhelmed with +confusion and dismay? I sought my chamber, and endeavoured to +regain my composure. The door of the house, which I found open, +your subsequent entrance, closing, and fastening it, and going +into your chamber, which had been thus long deserted, were only +confirmations of the truth. + +"Why should I paint the tempestuous fluctuation of my +thoughts between grief and revenge, between rage and despair? +Why should I repeat my vows of eternal implacability and +persecution, and the speedy recantation of these vows? + +"I have said enough. You have dismissed me from a place in +your esteem. What I think, and what I feel, is of no importance +in your eyes. May the duty which I owe myself enable me to +forget your existence. In a few minutes I go hence. Be the +maker of your fortune, and may adversity instruct you in that +wisdom, which education was unable to impart to you." + +Those were the last words which Pleyel uttered. He left the +room, and my new emotions enabled me to witness his departure +without any apparent loss of composure. As I sat alone, I +ruminated on these incidents. Nothing was more evident than +that I had taken an eternal leave of happiness. Life was a +worthless thing, separate from that good which had now been +wrested from me; yet the sentiment that now possessed me had no +tendency to palsy my exertions, and overbear my strength. I +noticed that the light was declining, and perceived the +propriety of leaving this house. I placed myself again in the +chaise, and returned slowly towards the city. + + + +Chapter XV + + +Before I reached the city it was dusk. It was my purpose to +spend the night at Mettingen. I was not solicitous, as long as +I was attended by a faithful servant, to be there at an early +hour. My exhausted strength required me to take some +refreshment. With this view, and in order to pay respect to one +whose affection for me was truly maternal, I stopped at Mrs. +Baynton's. She was absent from home; but I had scarcely entered +the house when one of her domestics presented me a letter. I +opened and read as follows: + + +"To Clara Wieland, + +"What shall I say to extenuate the misconduct of last night? +It is my duty to repair it to the utmost of my power, but the +only way in which it can be repaired, you will not, I fear, be +prevailed on to adopt. It is by granting me an interview, at +your own house, at eleven o'clock this night. I have no means +of removing any fears that you may entertain of my designs, but +my simple and solemn declarations. These, after what has passed +between us, you may deem unworthy of confidence. I cannot help +it. My folly and rashness has left me no other resource. I +will be at your door by that hour. If you chuse to admit me to +a conference, provided that conference has no witnesses, I will +disclose to you particulars, the knowledge of which is of the +utmost importance to your happiness. Farewell. + +CARWIN." + + +What a letter was this! A man known to be an assassin and +robber; one capable of plotting against my life and my fame; +detected lurking in my chamber, and avowing designs the most +flagitious and dreadful, now solicits me to grant him a midnight +interview! To admit him alone into my presence! Could he make +this request with the expectation of my compliance? What had he +seen in me, that could justify him in admitting so wild a +belief? Yet this request is preferred with the utmost gravity. +It is not accompanied by an appearance of uncommon earnestness. +Had the misconduct to which he alludes been a slight incivility, +and the interview requested to take place in the midst of my +friends, there would have been no extravagance in the tenor of +this letter; but, as it was, the writer had surely been bereft +of his reason. + +I perused this epistle frequently. The request it contained +might be called audacious or stupid, if it had been made by a +different person; but from Carwin, who could not be unaware of +the effect which it must naturally produce, and of the manner in +which it would unavoidably be treated, it was perfectly +inexplicable. He must have counted on the success of some plot, +in order to extort my assent. None of those motives by which I +am usually governed would ever have persuaded me to meet any one +of his sex, at the time and place which he had prescribed. Much +less would I consent to a meeting with a man, tainted with the +most detestable crimes, and by whose arts my own safety had been +so imminently endangered, and my happiness irretrievably +destroyed. I shuddered at the idea that such a meeting was +possible. I felt some reluctance to approach a spot which he +still visited and haunted. + +Such were the ideas which first suggested themselves on the +perusal of the letter. Meanwhile, I resumed my journey. My +thoughts still dwelt upon the same topic. Gradually from +ruminating on this epistle, I reverted to my interview with +Pleyel. I recalled the particulars of the dialogue to which he +had been an auditor. My heart sunk anew on viewing the +inextricable complexity of this deception, and the inauspicious +concurrence of events, which tended to confirm him in his error. +When he approached my chamber door, my terror kept me mute. He +put his ear, perhaps, to the crevice, but it caught the sound of +nothing human. Had I called, or made any token that denoted +some one to be within, words would have ensued; and as +omnipresence was impossible, this discovery, and the artless +narrative of what had just passed, would have saved me from his +murderous invectives. He went into his chamber, and after some +interval, I stole across the entry and down the stairs, with +inaudible steps. Having secured the outer doors, I returned +with less circumspection. He heard me not when I descended; but +my returning steps were easily distinguished. Now he thought +was the guilty interview at an end. In what other way was it +possible for him to construe these signals? + +How fallacious and precipitate was my decision! Carwin's +plot owed its success to a coincidence of events scarcely +credible. The balance was swayed from its equipoise by a hair. +Had I even begun the conversation with an account of what befel +me in my chamber, my previous interview with Wieland would have +taught him to suspect me of imposture; yet, if I were +discoursing with this ruffian, when Pleyel touched the lock of +my chamber door, and when he shut his own door with so much +violence, how, he might ask, should I be able to relate these +incidents? Perhaps he had withheld the knowledge of these +circumstances from my brother, from whom, therefore, I could not +obtain it, so that my innocence would have thus been +irresistibly demonstrated. + +The first impulse which flowed from these ideas was to return +upon my steps, and demand once more an interview; but he was +gone: his parting declarations were remembered. + +Pleyel, I exclaimed, thou art gone for ever! Are thy +mistakes beyond the reach of detection? Am I helpless in the +midst of this snare? The plotter is at hand. He even speaks in +the style of penitence. He solicits an interview which he +promises shall end in the disclosure of something momentous to +my happiness. What can he say which will avail to turn aside +this evil? But why should his remorse be feigned? I have done +him no injury. His wickedness is fertile only of despair; and +the billows of remorse will some time overbear him. Why may not +this event have already taken place? Why should I refuse to see +him? + +This idea was present, as it were, for a moment. I suddenly +recoiled from it, confounded at that frenzy which could give +even momentary harbour to such a scheme; yet presently it +returned. At length I even conceived it to deserve +deliberation. I questioned whether it was not proper to admit, +at a lonely spot, in a sacred hour, this man of tremendous and +inscrutable attributes, this performer of horrid deeds, and +whose presence was predicted to call down unheard-of and +unutterable horrors. + +What was it that swayed me? I felt myself divested of the +power to will contrary to the motives that determined me to seek +his presence. My mind seemed to be split into separate parts, +and these parts to have entered into furious and implacable +contention. These tumults gradually subsided. The reasons why +I should confide in that interposition which had hitherto +defended me; in those tokens of compunction which this letter +contained; in the efficacy of this interview to restore its +spotlessness to my character, and banish all illusions from the +mind of my friend, continually acquired new evidence and new +strength. + +What should I fear in his presence? This was unlike an +artifice intended to betray me into his hands. If it were an +artifice, what purpose would it serve? The freedom of my mind +was untouched, and that freedom would defy the assaults of +blandishments or magic. Force was I not able to repel. On the +former occasion my courage, it is true, had failed at the +imminent approach of danger; but then I had not enjoyed +opportunities of deliberation; I had foreseen nothing; I was +sunk into imbecility by my previous thoughts; I had been the +victim of recent disappointments and anticipated ills: Witness +my infatuation in opening the closet in opposition to divine +injunctions. + +Now, perhaps, my courage was the offspring of a no less +erring principle. Pleyel was for ever lost to me. I strove in +vain to assume his person, and suppress my resentment; I strove +in vain to believe in the assuaging influence of time, to look +forward to the birth-day of new hopes, and the re-exaltation of +that luminary, of whose effulgencies I had so long and so +liberally partaken. + +What had I to suffer worse than was already inflicted? + +Was not Carwin my foe? I owed my untimely fate to his +treason. Instead of flying from his presence, ought I not to +devote all my faculties to the gaining of an interview, and +compel him to repair the ills of which he has been the author? +Why should I suppose him impregnable to argument? Have I not +reason on my side, and the power of imparting conviction? +Cannot he be made to see the justice of unravelling the maze in +which Pleyel is bewildered? + +He may, at least, be accessible to fear. Has he nothing to +fear from the rage of an injured woman? But suppose him +inaccessible to such inducements; suppose him to persist in all +his flagitious purposes; are not the means of defence and +resistance in my power? + +In the progress of such thoughts, was the resolution at last +formed. I hoped that the interview was sought by him for a +laudable end; but, be that as it would, I trusted that, by +energy of reasoning or of action, I should render it auspicious, +or, at least, harmless. + +Such a determination must unavoidably fluctuate. The poet's +chaos was no unapt emblem of the state of my mind. A torment +was awakened in my bosom, which I foresaw would end only when +this interview was past, and its consequences fully experienced. +Hence my impatience for the arrival of the hour which had been +prescribed by Carwin. + +Meanwhile, my meditations were tumultuously active. New +impediments to the execution of the scheme were speedily +suggested. I had apprized Catharine of my intention to spend +this and many future nights with her. Her husband was informed +of this arrangement, and had zealously approved it. Eleven +o'clock exceeded their hour of retiring. What excuse should I +form for changing my plan? Should I shew this letter to +Wieland, and submit myself to his direction? But I knew in what +way he would decide. He would fervently dissuade me from going. +Nay, would he not do more? He was apprized of the offences of +Carwin, and of the reward offered for his apprehension. Would +he not seize this opportunity of executing justice on a +criminal? + +This idea was new. I was plunged once more into doubt. Did +not equity enjoin me thus to facilitate his arrest? No. I +disdained the office of betrayer. Carwin was unapprized of his +danger, and his intentions were possibly beneficent. Should I +station guards about the house, and make an act, intended +perhaps for my benefit, instrumental to his own destruction? +Wieland might be justified in thus employing the knowledge which +I should impart, but I, by imparting it, should pollute myself +with more hateful crimes than those undeservedly imputed to me. +This scheme, therefore, I unhesitatingly rejected. The views +with which I should return to my own house, it would therefore +be necessary to conceal. Yet some pretext must be invented. I +had never been initiated into the trade of lying. Yet what but +falshood was a deliberate suppression of the truth? To deceive +by silence or by words is the same. + +Yet what would a lie avail me? What pretext would justify +this change in my plan? Would it not tend to confirm the +imputations of Pleyel? That I should voluntarily return to an +house in which honor and life had so lately been endangered, +could be explained in no way favorable to my integrity. + +These reflections, if they did not change, at least suspended +my decision. In this state of uncertainty I alighted at the +HUT. We gave this name to the house tenanted by the farmer +and his servants, and which was situated on the verge of my +brother's ground, and at a considerable distance from the +mansion. The path to the mansion was planted by a double row of +walnuts. Along this path I proceeded alone. I entered the +parlour, in which was a light just expiring in the socket. +There was no one in the room. I perceived by the clock that +stood against the wall, that it was near eleven. The lateness +of the hour startled me. What had become of the family? They +were usually retired an hour before this; but the unextinguished +taper, and the unbarred door were indications that they had not +retired. I again returned to the hall, and passed from one room +to another, but still encountered not a human being. + +I imagined that, perhaps, the lapse of a few minutes would +explain these appearances. Meanwhile I reflected that the +preconcerted hour had arrived. Carwin was perhaps waiting my +approach. Should I immediately retire to my own house, no one +would be apprized of my proceeding. Nay, the interview might +pass, and I be enabled to return in half an hour. Hence no +necessity would arise for dissimulation. + +I was so far influenced by these views that I rose to execute +this design; but again the unusual condition of the house +occurred to me, and some vague solicitude as to the condition of +the family. I was nearly certain that my brother had not +retired; but by what motives he could be induced to desert his +house thus unseasonably I could by no means divine. Louisa +Conway, at least, was at home and had, probably, retired to her +chamber; perhaps she was able to impart the information I +wanted. + +I went to her chamber, and found her asleep. She was +delighted and surprized at my arrival, and told me with how much +impatience and anxiety my brother and his wife had waited my +coming. They were fearful that some mishap had befallen me, and +had remained up longer than the usual period. Notwithstanding +the lateness of the hour, Catharine would not resign the hope of +seeing me. Louisa said she had left them both in the parlour, +and she knew of no cause for their absence. + +As yet I was not without solicitude on account of their +personal safety. I was far from being perfectly at ease on that +head, but entertained no distinct conception of the danger that +impended over them. Perhaps to beguile the moments of my long +protracted stay, they had gone to walk upon the bank. The +atmosphere, though illuminated only by the star-light, was +remarkably serene. Meanwhile the desirableness of an interview +with Carwin again returned, and I finally resolved to seek it. + +I passed with doubting and hasty steps along the path. My +dwelling, seen at a distance, was gloomy and desolate. It had +no inhabitant, for my servant, in consequence of my new +arrangement, had gone to Mettingen. The temerity of this +attempt began to shew itself in more vivid colours to my +understanding. Whoever has pointed steel is not without arms; +yet what must have been the state of my mind when I could +meditate, without shuddering, on the use of a murderous weapon, +and believe myself secure merely because I was capable of being +made so by the death of another? Yet this was not my state. I +felt as if I was rushing into deadly toils, without the power of +pausing or receding. + + + +Chapter XVI + + +As soon as I arrived in sight of the front of the house, my +attention was excited by a light from the window of my own +chamber. No appearance could be less explicable. A meeting was +expected with Carwin, but that he pre-occupied my chamber, and +had supplied himself with light, was not to be believed. What +motive could influence him to adopt this conduct? Could I +proceed until this was explained? Perhaps, if I should proceed +to a distance in front, some one would be visible. A sidelong +but feeble beam from the window, fell upon the piny copse which +skirted the bank. As I eyed it, it suddenly became mutable, and +after flitting to and fro, for a short time, it vanished. I +turned my eye again toward the window, and perceived that the +light was still there; but the change which I had noticed was +occasioned by a change in the position of the lamp or candle +within. Hence, that some person was there was an unavoidable +inference. + +I paused to deliberate on the propriety of advancing. Might +I not advance cautiously, and, therefore, without danger? Might +I not knock at the door, or call, and be apprized of the nature +of my visitant before I entered? I approached and listened at +the door, but could hear nothing. I knocked at first timidly, +but afterwards with loudness. My signals were unnoticed. I +stepped back and looked, but the light was no longer +discernible. Was it suddenly extinguished by a human agent? +What purpose but concealment was intended? Why was the +illumination produced, to be thus suddenly brought to an end? +And why, since some one was there, had silence been observed? + +These were questions, the solution of which may be readily +supposed to be entangled with danger. Would not this danger, +when measured by a woman's fears, expand into gigantic +dimensions? Menaces of death; the stunning exertions of a +warning voice; the known and unknown attributes of Carwin; our +recent interview in this chamber; the pre-appointment of a +meeting at this place and hour, all thronged into my memory. +What was to be done? + +Courage is no definite or stedfast principle. Let that man +who shall purpose to assign motives to the actions of another, +blush at his folly and forbear. Not more presumptuous would it +be to attempt the classification of all nature, and the scanning +of supreme intelligence. I gazed for a minute at the window, +and fixed my eyes, for a second minute, on the ground. I drew +forth from my pocket, and opened, a penknife. This, said I, be +my safe-guard and avenger. The assailant shall perish, or +myself shall fall. +I had locked up the house in the morning, but had the key of +the kitchen door in my pocket. I, therefore, determined to gain +access behind. Thither I hastened, unlocked and entered. All +was lonely, darksome, and waste. Familiar as I was with every +part of my dwelling, I easily found my way to a closet, drew +forth a taper, a flint, tinder, and steel, and, in a moment as +it were, gave myself the guidance and protection of light. + +What purpose did I meditate? Should I explore my way to my +chamber, and confront the being who had dared to intrude into +this recess, and had laboured for concealment? By putting out +the light did he seek to hide himself, or mean only to +circumvent my incautious steps? Yet was it not more probable +that he desired my absence by thus encouraging the supposition +that the house was unoccupied? I would see this man in spite of +all impediments; ere I died, I would see his face, and summon +him to penitence and retribution; no matter at what cost an +interview was purchased. Reputation and life might be wrested +from me by another, but my rectitude and honor were in my own +keeping, and were safe. + +I proceeded to the foot of the stairs. At such a crisis my +thoughts may be supposed at no liberty to range; yet vague +images rushed into my mind, of the mysterious interposition +which had been experienced on the last night. My case, at +present, was not dissimilar; and, if my angel were not weary of +fruitless exertions to save, might not a new warning be +expected? Who could say whether his silence were ascribable to +the absence of danger, or to his own absence? + +In this state of mind, no wonder that a shivering cold crept +through my veins; that my pause was prolonged; and, that a +fearful glance was thrown backward. + +Alas! my heart droops, and my fingers are enervated; my ideas +are vivid, but my language is faint: now know I what it is to +entertain incommunicable sentiments. The chain of subsequent +incidents is drawn through my mind, and being linked with those +which forewent, by turns rouse up agonies and sink me into +hopelessness. + +Yet I will persist to the end. My narrative may be invaded +by inaccuracy and confusion; but if I live no longer, I will, at +least, live to complete it. What but ambiguities, abruptnesses, +and dark transitions, can be expected from the historian who is, +at the same time, the sufferer of these disasters? + +I have said that I cast a look behind. Some object was +expected to be seen, or why should I have gazed in that +direction? Two senses were at once assailed. The same piercing +exclamation of HOLD! HOLD! was uttered within the same +distance of my ear. This it was that I heard. The airy +undulation, and the shock given to my nerves, were real. +Whether the spectacle which I beheld existed in my fancy or +without, might be doubted. +I had not closed the door of the apartment I had just left. +The stair-case, at the foot of which I stood, was eight or ten +feet from the door, and attached to the wall through which the +door led. My view, therefore, was sidelong, and took in no part +of the room. + +Through this aperture was an head thrust and drawn back with +so much swiftness, that the immediate conviction was, that thus +much of a form, ordinarily invisible, had been unshrowded. The +face was turned towards me. Every muscle was tense; the +forehead and brows were drawn into vehement expression; the lips +were stretched as in the act of shrieking, and the eyes emitted +sparks, which, no doubt, if I had been unattended by a light, +would have illuminated like the coruscations of a meteor. The +sound and the vision were present, and departed together at the +same instant; but the cry was blown into my ear, while the face +was many paces distant. + +This face was well suited to a being whose performances +exceeded the standard of humanity, and yet its features were +akin to those I had before seen. The image of Carwin was +blended in a thousand ways with the stream of my thoughts. This +visage was, perhaps, pourtrayed by my fancy. If so, it will +excite no surprize that some of his lineaments were now +discovered. Yet affinities were few and unconspicuous, and were +lost amidst the blaze of opposite qualities. + +What conclusion could I form? Be the face human or not, the +intimation was imparted from above. Experience had evinced the +benignity of that being who gave it. Once he had interposed to +shield me from harm, and subsequent events demonstrated the +usefulness of that interposition. Now was I again warned to +forbear. I was hurrying to the verge of the same gulf, and the +same power was exerted to recall my steps. Was it possible for +me not to obey? Was I capable of holding on in the same +perilous career? Yes. Even of this I was capable! + +The intimation was imperfect: it gave no form to my danger, +and prescribed no limits to my caution. I had formerly +neglected it, and yet escaped. Might I not trust to the same +issue? This idea might possess, though imperceptibly, some +influence. I persisted; but it was not merely on this account. +I cannot delineate the motives that led me on. I now speak as +if no remnant of doubt existed in my mind as to the supernal +origin of these sounds; but this is owing to the imperfection of +my language, for I only mean that the belief was more permanent, +and visited more frequently my sober meditations than its +opposite. The immediate effects served only to undermine the +foundations of my judgment and precipitate my resolutions. + +I must either advance or return. I chose the former, and +began to ascend the stairs. The silence underwent no second +interruption. My chamber door was closed, but unlocked, and, +aided by vehement efforts of my courage, I opened and looked in. + +No hideous or uncommon object was discernible. The danger, +indeed, might easily have lurked out of sight, have sprung upon +me as I entered, and have rent me with his iron talons; but I +was blind to this fate, and advanced, though cautiously, into +the room. + +Still every thing wore its accustomed aspect. Neither lamp +nor candle was to be found. Now, for the first time, suspicions +were suggested as to the nature of the light which I had seen. +Was it possible to have been the companion of that supernatural +visage; a meteorous refulgence producible at the will of him to +whom that visage belonged, and partaking of the nature of that +which accompanied my father's death? + +The closet was near, and I remembered the complicated horrors +of which it had been productive. Here, perhaps, was inclosed +the source of my peril, and the gratification of my curiosity. +Should I adventure once more to explore its recesses? This was +a resolution not easily formed. I was suspended in thought: +when glancing my eye on a table, I perceived a written paper. +Carwin's hand was instantly recognized, and snatching up the +paper, I read as follows:-- + +"There was folly in expecting your compliance with my +invitation. Judge how I was disappointed in finding another in +your place. I have waited, but to wait any longer would be +perilous. I shall still seek an interview, but it must be at a +different time and place: meanwhile, I will write this--How +will you bear--How inexplicable will be this transaction!--An +event so unexpected--a sight so horrible!" + +Such was this abrupt and unsatisfactory script. The ink was +yet moist, the hand was that of Carwin. Hence it was to be +inferred that he had this moment left the apartment, or was +still in it. I looked back, on the sudden expectation of seeing +him behind me. + +What other did he mean? What transaction had taken place +adverse to my expectations? What sight was about to be +exhibited? I looked around me once more, but saw nothing which +indicated strangeness. Again I remembered the closet, and was +resolved to seek in that the solution of these mysteries. Here, +perhaps, was inclosed the scene destined to awaken my horrors +and baffle my foresight. + +I have already said, that the entrance into this closet was +beside my bed, which, on two sides, was closely shrowded by +curtains. On that side nearest the closet, the curtain was +raised. As I passed along I cast my eye thither. I started, +and looked again. I bore a light in my hand, and brought it +nearer my eyes, in order to dispel any illusive mists that might +have hovered before them. Once more I fixed my eyes upon the +bed, in hope that this more stedfast scrutiny would annihilate +the object which before seemed to be there. + +This then was the sight which Carwin had predicted! This was +the event which my understanding was to find inexplicable! This +was the fate which had been reserved for me, but which, by some +untoward chance, had befallen on another! + +I had not been terrified by empty menaces. Violation and +death awaited my entrance into this chamber. Some inscrutable +chance had led HER hither before me, and the merciless fangs +of which I was designed to be the prey, had mistaken their +victim, and had fixed themselves in HER heart. But where +was my safety? Was the mischief exhausted or flown? The steps +of the assassin had just been here; they could not be far off; +in a moment he would rush into my presence, and I should perish +under the same polluting and suffocating grasp! + +My frame shook, and my knees were unable to support me. I +gazed alternately at the closet door and at the door of my room. +At one of these avenues would enter the exterminator of my honor +and my life. I was prepared for defence; but now that danger +was imminent, my means of defence, and my power to use them were +gone. I was not qualified, by education and experience, to +encounter perils like these: or, perhaps, I was powerless +because I was again assaulted by surprize, and had not fortified +my mind by foresight and previous reflection against a scene +like this. + +Fears for my own safety again yielded place to reflections on +the scene before me. I fixed my eyes upon her countenance. My +sister's well-known and beloved features could not be concealed +by convulsion or lividness. What direful illusion led thee +hither? Bereft of thee, what hold on happiness remains to thy +offspring and thy spouse? To lose thee by a common fate would +have been sufficiently hard; but thus suddenly to perish--to +become the prey of this ghastly death! How will a spectacle +like this be endured by Wieland? To die beneath his grasp would +not satisfy thy enemy. This was mercy to the evils which he +previously made thee suffer! After these evils death was a boon +which thou besoughtest him to grant. He entertained no enmity +against thee: I was the object of his treason; but by some +tremendous mistake his fury was misplaced. But how comest thou +hither? and where was Wieland in thy hour of distress? + +I approached the corpse: I lifted the still flexible hand, +and kissed the lips which were breathless. Her flowing drapery +was discomposed. I restored it to order, and seating myself on +the bed, again fixed stedfast eyes upon her countenance. I +cannot distinctly recollect the ruminations of that moment. I +saw confusedly, but forcibly, that every hope was extinguished +with the life of CATHARINE. All happiness and dignity must +henceforth be banished from the house and name of Wieland: all +that remained was to linger out in agonies a short existence; +and leave to the world a monument of blasted hopes and +changeable fortune. Pleyel was already lost to me; yet, while +Catharine lived life was not a detestable possession: but now, +severed from the companion of my infancy, the partaker of all my +thoughts, my cares, and my wishes, I was like one set afloat +upon a stormy sea, and hanging his safety upon a plank; night +was closing upon him, and an unexpected surge had torn him from +his hold and overwhelmed him forever. + + + +Chapter XVII + + +I had no inclination nor power to move from this spot. For +more than an hour, my faculties and limbs seemed to be deprived +of all activity. The door below creaked on its hinges, and +steps ascended the stairs. My wandering and confused thoughts +were instantly recalled by these sounds, and dropping the +curtain of the bed, I moved to a part of the room where any one +who entered should be visible; such are the vibrations of +sentiment, that notwithstanding the seeming fulfilment of my +fears, and increase of my danger, I was conscious, on this +occasion, to no turbulence but that of curiosity. + +At length he entered the apartment, and I recognized my +brother. It was the same Wieland whom I had ever seen. Yet his +features were pervaded by a new expression. I supposed him +unacquainted with the fate of his wife, and his appearance +confirmed this persuasion. A brow expanding into exultation I +had hitherto never seen in him, yet such a brow did he now wear. +Not only was he unapprized of the disaster that had happened, +but some joyous occurrence had betided. What a reverse was +preparing to annihilate his transitory bliss! No husband ever +doated more fondly, for no wife ever claimed so boundless a +devotion. I was not uncertain as to the effects to flow from +the discovery of her fate. I confided not at all in the efforts +of his reason or his piety. There were few evils which his +modes of thinking would not disarm of their sting; but here, all +opiates to grief, and all compellers of patience were vain. +This spectacle would be unavoidably followed by the outrages of +desperation, and a rushing to death. + +For the present, I neglected to ask myself what motive +brought him hither. I was only fearful of the effects to flow +from the sight of the dead. Yet could it be long concealed from +him? Some time and speedily he would obtain this knowledge. No +stratagems could considerably or usefully prolong his ignorance. +All that could be sought was to take away the abruptness of the +change, and shut out the confusion of despair, and the inroads +of madness: but I knew my brother, and knew that all exertions +to console him would be fruitless. + +What could I say? I was mute, and poured forth those tears +on his account, which my own unhappiness had been unable to +extort. In the midst of my tears, I was not unobservant of his +motions. These were of a nature to rouse some other sentiment +than grief or, at least, to mix with it a portion of +astonishment. + +His countenance suddenly became troubled. His hands were +clasped with a force that left the print of his nails in his +flesh. His eyes were fixed on my feet. His brain seemed to +swell beyond its continent. He did not cease to breathe, but +his breath was stifled into groans. I had never witnessed the +hurricane of human passions. My element had, till lately, been +all sunshine and calm. I was unconversant with the altitudes +and energies of sentiment, and was transfixed with inexplicable +horror by the symptoms which I now beheld. + +After a silence and a conflict which I could not interpret, +he lifted his eyes to heaven, and in broken accents exclaimed, +"This is too much! Any victim but this, and thy will be done. +Have I not sufficiently attested my faith and my obedience? She +that is gone, they that have perished, were linked with my soul +by ties which only thy command would have broken; but here is +sanctity and excellence surpassing human. This workmanship is +thine, and it cannot be thy will to heap it into ruins." + +Here suddenly unclasping his hands, he struck one of them +against his forehead, and continued--"Wretch! who made thee +quicksighted in the councils of thy Maker? Deliverance from +mortal fetters is awarded to this being, and thou art the +minister of this decree." + +So saying, Wieland advanced towards me. His words and his +motions were without meaning, except on one supposition. The +death of Catharine was already known to him, and that knowledge, +as might have been suspected, had destroyed his reason. I had +feared nothing less; but now that I beheld the extinction of a +mind the most luminous and penetrating that ever dignified the +human form, my sensations were fraught with new and +insupportable anguish. + +I had not time to reflect in what way my own safety would be +effected by this revolution, or what I had to dread from the +wild conceptions of a madman. He advanced towards me. Some +hollow noises were wafted by the breeze. Confused clamours were +succeeded by many feet traversing the grass, and then crowding +intO the piazza. + +These sounds suspended my brother's purpose, and he stood to +listen. The signals multiplied and grew louder; perceiving +this, he turned from me, and hurried out of my sight. All about +me was pregnant with motives to astonishment. My sister's +corpse, Wieland's frantic demeanour, and, at length, this crowd +of visitants so little accorded with my foresight, that my +mental progress was stopped. The impulse had ceased which was +accustomed to give motion and order to my thoughts. + +Footsteps thronged upon the stairs, and presently many faces +shewed themselves within the door of my apartment. These looks +were full of alarm and watchfulness. They pryed into corners as +if in search of some fugitive; next their gaze was fixed upon +me, and betokened all the vehemence of terror and pity. For a +time I questioned whether these were not shapes and faces like +that which I had seen at the bottom of the stairs, creatures of +my fancy or airy existences. +My eye wandered from one to another, till at length it fell +on a countenance which I well knew. It was that of Mr. Hallet. +This man was a distant kinsman of my mother, venerable for his +age, his uprightness, and sagacity. He had long discharged the +functions of a magistrate and good citizen. If any terrors +remained, his presence was sufficient to dispel them. + +He approached, took my hand with a compassionate air, and +said in a low voice, "Where, my dear Clara, are your brother and +sister?" I made no answer, but pointed to the bed. His +attendants drew aside the curtain, and while their eyes glared +with horror at the spectacle which they beheld, those of Mr. +Hallet overflowed with tears. + +After considerable pause, he once more turned to me. "My +dear girl, this sight is not for you. Can you confide in my +care, and that of Mrs. Baynton's? We will see performed all +that circumstances require." + +I made strenuous opposition to this request. I insisted on +remaining near her till she were interred. His remonstrances, +however, and my own feelings, shewed me the propriety of a +temporary dereliction. Louisa stood in need of a comforter, and +my brother's children of a nurse. My unhappy brother was +himself an object of solicitude and care. At length, I +consented to relinquish the corpse, and go to my brother's, +whose house, I said, would need mistress, and his children a +parent. + +During this discourse, my venerable friend struggled with his +tears, but my last intimation called them forth with fresh +violence. Meanwhile, his attendants stood round in mournful +silence, gazing on me and at each other. I repeated my +resolution, and rose to execute it; but he took my hand to +detain me. His countenance betrayed irresolution and +reluctance. I requested him to state the reason of his +opposition to this measure. I entreated him to be explicit. I +told him that my brother had just been there, and that I knew +his condition. This misfortune had driven him to madness, and +his offspring must not want a protector. If he chose, I would +resign Wieland to his care; but his innocent and helpless babes +stood in instant need of nurse and mother, and these offices I +would by no means allow another to perform while I had life. + +Every word that I uttered seemed to augment his perplexity +and distress. At last he said, "I think, Clara, I have entitled +myself to some regard from you. You have professed your +willingness to oblige me. Now I call upon you to confer upon me +the highest obligation in your power. Permit Mrs. Baynton to +have the management of your brother's house for two or three +days; then it shall be yours to act in it as you please. No +matter what are my motives in making this request: perhaps I +think your age, your sex, or the distress which this disaster +must occasion, incapacitates you for the office. Surely you +have no doubt of Mrs. Baynton's tenderness or discretion." +New ideas now rushed into my mind. I fixed my eyes +stedfastly on Mr. Hallet. "Are they well?" said I. "Is Louisa +well? Are Benjamin, and William, and Constantine, and Little +Clara, are they safe? Tell me truly, I beseech you!" + +"They are well," he replied; "they are perfectly safe." + +"Fear no effeminate weakness in me: I can bear to hear the +truth. Tell me truly, are they well?" + +He again assured me that they were well. + +"What then," resumed I, "do you fear? Is it possible for any +calamity to disqualify me for performing my duty to these +helpless innocents? I am willing to divide the care of them +with Mrs. Baynton; I shall be grateful for her sympathy and aid; +but what should I be to desert them at an hour like this!" + +I will cut short this distressful dialogue. I still +persisted in my purpose, and he still persisted in his +opposition. This excited my suspicions anew; but these were +removed by solemn declarations of their safety. I could not +explain this conduct in my friend; but at length consented to go +to the city, provided I should see them for a few minutes at +present, and should return on the morrow. + +Even this arrangement was objected to. At length he told me +they were removed to the city. Why were they removed, I asked, +and whither? My importunities would not now be eluded. My +suspicions were roused, and no evasion or artifice was +sufficient to allay them. Many of the audience began to give +vent to their emotions in tears. Mr. Hallet himself seemed as +if the conflict were too hard to be longer sustained. Something +whispered to my heart that havoc had been wider than I now +witnessed. I suspected this concealment to arise from +apprehensions of the effects which a knowledge of the truth +would produce in me. I once more entreated him to inform me +truly of their state. To enforce my entreaties, I put on an air +of insensibility. "I can guess," said I, "what has +happened--They are indeed beyond the reach of injury, for they +are dead! Is it not so?" My voice faltered in spite of my +courageous efforts. + +"Yes," said he, "they are dead! Dead by the same fate, and +by the same hand, with their mother!" + +"Dead!" replied I; "what, all?" + +"All!" replied he: "he spared NOT ONE!" + +Allow me, my friends, to close my eyes upon the after-scene. +Why should I protract a tale which I already begin to feel is +too long? Over this scene at least let me pass lightly. Here, +indeed, my narrative would be imperfect. All was tempestuous +commotion in my heart and in my brain. I have no memory for +ought but unconscious transitions and rueful sights. I was +ingenious and indefatigable in the invention of torments. I +would not dispense with any spectacle adapted to exasperate my +grief. Each pale and mangled form I crushed to my bosom. +Louisa, whom I loved with so ineffable a passion, was denied to +me at first, but my obstinacy conquered their reluctance. + +They led the way into a darkened hall. A lamp pendant from +the ceiling was uncovered, and they pointed to a table. The +assassin had defrauded me of my last and miserable consolation. +I sought not in her visage, for the tinge of the morning, and +the lustre of heaven. These had vanished with life; but I hoped +for liberty to print a last kiss upon her lips. This was denied +me; for such had been the merciless blow that destroyed her, +that not a LINEAMENT REMAINED! + +I was carried hence to the city. Mrs. Hallet was my +companion and my nurse. Why should I dwell upon the rage of +fever, and the effusions of delirium? Carwin was the phantom +that pursued my dreams, the giant oppressor under whose arm I +was for ever on the point of being crushed. Strenuous muscles +were required to hinder my flight, and hearts of steel to +withstand the eloquence of my fears. In vain I called upon them +to look upward, to mark his sparkling rage and scowling +contempt. All I sought was to fly from the stroke that was +lifted. Then I heaped upon my guards the most vehement +reproaches, or betook myself to wailings on the haplessness of +my condition. + +This malady, at length, declined, and my weeping friends +began to look for my restoration. Slowly, and with intermitted +beams, memory revisited me. The scenes that I had witnessed +were revived, became the theme of deliberation and deduction, +and called forth the effusions of more rational sorrow. + + + +Chapter XVIII + + +I had imperfectly recovered my strength, when I was informed +of the arrival of my mother's brother, Thomas Cambridge. Ten +years since, he went to Europe, and was a surgeon in the British +forces in Germany, during the whole of the late war. After its +conclusion, some connection that he had formed with an Irish +officer, made him retire into Ireland. Intercourse had been +punctually maintained by letters with his sister's children, and +hopes were given that he would shortly return to his native +country, and pass his old age in our society. He was now in an +evil hour arrived. + +I desired an interview with him for numerous and urgent +reasons. With the first returns of my understanding I had +anxiously sought information of the fate of my brother. During +the course of my disease I had never seen him; and vague and +unsatisfactory answers were returned to all my inquires. I had +vehemently interrogated Mrs. Hallet and her husband, and +solicited an interview with this unfortunate man; but they +mysteriously insinuated that his reason was still unsettled, and +that his circumstances rendered an interview impossible. Their +reserve on the particulars of this destruction, and the author +of it, was equally invincible. + +For some time, finding all my efforts fruitless, I had +desisted from direct inquiries and solicitations, determined, as +soon as my strength was sufficiently renewed, to pursue other +means of dispelling my uncertainty. In this state of things my +uncle's arrival and intention to visit me were announced. I +almost shuddered to behold the face of this man. When I +reflected on the disasters that had befallen us, I was half +unwilling to witness that dejection and grief which would be +disclosed in his countenance. But I believed that all +transactions had been thoroughly disclosed to him, and confided +in my importunity to extort from him the knowledge that I +sought. + +I had no doubt as to the person of our enemy; but the motives +that urged him to perpetrate these horrors, the means that he +used, and his present condition, were totally unknown. It was +reasonable to expect some information on this head, from my +uncle. I therefore waited his coming with impatience. At +length, in the dusk of the evening, and in my solitary chamber, +this meeting took place. + +This man was our nearest relation, and had ever treated us +with the affection of a parent. Our meeting, therefore, could +not be without overflowing tenderness and gloomy joy. He rather +encouraged than restrained the tears that I poured out in his +arms, and took upon himself the task of comforter. Allusions to +recent disasters could not be long omitted. One topic +facilitated the admission of another. At length, I mentioned +and deplored the ignorance in which I had been kept respecting +my brother's destiny, and the circumstances of our misfortunes. +I entreated him to tell me what was Wieland's condition, and +what progress had been made in detecting or punishing the author +of this unheard-of devastation. + +"The author!" said he; "Do you know the author?" + +"Alas!" I answered, "I am too well acquainted with him. The +story of the grounds of my suspicions would be painful and too +long. I am not apprized of the extent of your present +knowledge. There are none but Wieland, Pleyel, and myself, who +are able to relate certain facts." + +"Spare yourself the pain," said he. "All that Wieland and +Pleyel can communicate, I know already. If any thing of moment +has fallen within your own exclusive knowledge, and the relation +be not too arduous for your present strength, I confess I am +desirous of hearing it. Perhaps you allude to one by the name +of Carwin. I will anticipate your curiosity by saying, that +since these disasters, no one has seen or heard of him. His +agency is, therefore, a mystery still unsolved." + +I readily complied with his request, and related as +distinctly as I could, though in general terms, the events +transacted in the summer-house and my chamber. He listened +without apparent surprize to the tale of Pleyel's errors and +suspicions, and with augmented seriousness, to my narrative of +the warnings and inexplicable vision, and the letter found upon +the table. I waited for his comments. + +"You gather from this," said he, "that Carwin is the author +of all this misery." + +"Is it not," answered I, "an unavoidable inference? But what +know you respecting it? Was it possible to execute this +mischief without witness or coadjutor? I beseech you to relate +to me, when and why Mr. Hallet was summoned to the scene, and by +whom this disaster was first suspected or discovered. Surely, +suspicion must have fallen upon some one, and pursuit was made." + +My uncle rose from his seat, and traversed the floor with +hasty steps. His eyes were fixed upon the ground, and he seemed +buried in perplexity. At length he paused, and said with an +emphatic tone, "It is true; the instrument is known. Carwin may +have plotted, but the execution was another's. That other is +found, and his deed is ascertained." + +"Good heaven!" I exclaimed, "what say you? Was not Carwin +the assassin? Could any hand but his have carried into act this +dreadful purpose?" + +"Have I not said," returned he, "that the performance was +another's? Carwin, perhaps, or heaven, or insanity, prompted +the murderer; but Carwin is unknown. The actual performer has, +long since, been called to judgment and convicted, and is, at +this moment, at the bottom of a dungeon loaded with chains." + +I lifted my hands and eyes. "Who then is this assassin? By +what means, and whither was he traced? What is the testimony of +his guilt?" + +"His own, corroborated with that of a servant-maid who spied +the murder of the children from a closet where she was +concealed. The magistrate returned from your dwelling to your +brother's. He was employed in hearing and recording the +testimony of the only witness, when the criminal himself, +unexpected, unsolicited, unsought, entered the hall, +acknowledged his guilt, and rendered himself up to justice. + +"He has since been summoned to the bar. The audience was +composed of thousands whom rumours of this wonderful event had +attracted from the greatest distance. A long and impartial +examination was made, and the prisoner was called upon for his +defence. In compliance with this call he delivered an ample +relation of his motives and actions." There he stopped. + +I besought him to say who this criminal was, and what the +instigations that compelled him. My uncle was silent. I urged +this inquiry with new force. I reverted to my own knowledge, +and sought in this some basis to conjecture. I ran over the +scanty catalogue of the men whom I knew; I lighted on no one who +was qualified for ministering to malice like this. Again I +resorted to importunity. Had I ever seen the criminal? Was it +sheer cruelty, or diabolical revenge that produced this +overthrow? + +He surveyed me, for a considerable time, and listened to my +interrogations in silence. At length he spoke: "Clara, I have +known thee by report, and in some degree by observation. Thou +art a being of no vulgar sort. Thy friends have hitherto +treated thee as a child. They meant well, but, perhaps, they +were unacquainted with thy strength. I assure myself that +nothing will surpass thy fortitude. + +"Thou art anxious to know the destroyer of thy family, his +actions, and his motives. Shall I call him to thy presence, and +permit him to confess before thee? Shall I make him the +narrator of his own tale?" + +I started on my feet, and looked round me with fearful +glances, as if the murderer was close at hand. "What do you +mean?" said I; "put an end, I beseech you, to this suspence." + +"Be not alarmed; you will never more behold the face of this +criminal, unless he be gifted with supernatural strength, and +sever like threads the constraint of links and bolts. I have +said that the assassin was arraigned at the bar, and that the +trial ended with a summons from the judge to confess or to +vindicate his actions. A reply was immediately made with +significance of gesture, and a tranquil majesty, which denoted +less of humanity than godhead. Judges, advocates and auditors +were panic-struck and breathless with attention. One of the +hearers faithfully recorded the speech. There it is," continued +he, putting a roll of papers in my hand, "you may read it at +your leisure." + +With these words my uncle left me alone. My curiosity +refused me a moment's delay. I opened the papers, and read as +follows. + + + +Chapter XIX + + +"Theodore Wieland, the prisoner at the bar, was now called +upon for his defence. He looked around him for some time in +silence, and with a mild countenance. At length he spoke: + +"It is strange; I am known to my judges and my auditors. Who +is there present a stranger to the character of Wieland? who +knows him not as an husband--as a father--as a friend? yet here +am I arraigned as criminal. I am charged with diabolical +malice; I am accused of the murder of my wife and my children! + +"It is true, they were slain by me; they all perished by my +hand. The task of vindication is ignoble. What is it that I am +called to vindicate? and before whom? + +"You know that they are dead, and that they were killed by +me. What more would you have? Would you extort from me a +statement of my motives? Have you failed to discover them +already? You charge me with malice; but your eyes are not shut; +your reason is still vigorous; your memory has not forsaken you. +You know whom it is that you thus charge. The habits of his +life are known to you; his treatment of his wife and his +offspring is known to you; the soundness of his integrity, and +the unchangeableness of his principles, are familiar to your +apprehension; yet you persist in this charge! You lead me +hither manacled as a felon; you deem me worthy of a vile and +tormenting death! + +"Who are they whom I have devoted to death? My wife--the +little ones, that drew their being from me--that creature who, +as she surpassed them in excellence, claimed a larger affection +than those whom natural affinities bound to my heart. Think ye +that malice could have urged me to this deed? Hide your +audacious fronts from the scrutiny of heaven. Take refuge in +some cavern unvisited by human eyes. Ye may deplore your +wickedness or folly, but ye cannot expiate it. + +"Think not that I speak for your sakes. Hug to your hearts +this detestable infatuation. Deem me still a murderer, and drag +me to untimely death. I make not an effort to dispel your +illusion: I utter not a word to cure you of your sanguinary +folly: but there are probably some in this assembly who have +come from far: for their sakes, whose distance has disabled +them from knowing me, I will tell what I have done, and why. + +"It is needless to say that God is the object of my supreme +passion. I have cherished, in his presence, a single and +upright heart. I have thirsted for the knowledge of his will. +I have burnt with ardour to approve my faith and my obedience. + +"My days have been spent in searching for the revelation of +that will; but my days have been mournful, because my search +failed. I solicited direction: I turned on every side where +glimmerings of light could be discovered. I have not been +wholly uninformed; but my knowledge has always stopped short of +certainty. Dissatisfaction has insinuated itself into all my +thoughts. My purposes have been pure; my wishes indefatigable; +but not till lately were these purposes thoroughly accomplished, +and these wishes fully gratified. + +"I thank thee, my father, for thy bounty; that thou didst not +ask a less sacrifice than this; that thou placedst me in a +condition to testify my submission to thy will! What have I +withheld which it was thy pleasure to exact? Now may I, with +dauntless and erect eye, claim my reward, since I have given +thee the treasure of my soul. + +"I was at my own house: it was late in the evening: my +sister had gone to the city, but proposed to return. It was in +expectation of her return that my wife and I delayed going to +bed beyond the usual hour; the rest of the family, however, were +retired. + +"My mind was contemplative and calm; not wholly devoid of +apprehension on account of my sister's safety. Recent events, +not easily explained, had suggested the existence of some +danger; but this danger was without a distinct form in our +imagination, and scarcely ruffled our tranquillity. + +"Time passed, and my sister did not arrive; her house is at +some distance from mine, and though her arrangements had been +made with a view to residing with us, it was possible that, +through forgetfulness, or the occurrence of unforeseen +emergencies, she had returned to her own dwelling. + +"Hence it was conceived proper that I should ascertain the +truth by going thither. I went. On my way my mind was full of +these ideas which related to my intellectual condition. In the +torrent of fervid conceptions, I lost sight of my purpose. Some +times I stood still; some times I wandered from my path, and +experienced some difficulty, on recovering from my fit of +musing, to regain it. + +"The series of my thoughts is easily traced. At first every +vein beat with raptures known only to the man whose parental and +conjugal love is without limits, and the cup of whose desires, +immense as it is, overflows with gratification. I know not why +emotions that were perpetual visitants should now have recurred +with unusual energy. The transition was not new from sensations +of joy to a consciousness of gratitude. The author of my being +was likewise the dispenser of every gift with which that being +was embellished. The service to which a benefactor like this +was entitled, could not be circumscribed. My social sentiments +were indebted to their alliance with devotion for all their +value. All passions are base, all joys feeble, all energies +malignant, which are not drawn from this source. + +"For a time, my contemplations soared above earth and its +inhabitants. I stretched forth my hands; I lifted my eyes, and +exclaimed, O! that I might be admitted to thy presence; that +mine were the supreme delight of knowing thy will, and of +performing it! The blissful privilege of direct communication +with thee, and of listening to the audible enunciation of thy +pleasure! + +"What task would I not undertake, what privation would I not +cheerfully endure, to testify my love of thee? Alas! thou +hidest thyself from my view: glimpses only of thy excellence +and beauty are afforded me. Would that a momentary emanation +from thy glory would visit me! that some unambiguous token of +thy presence would salute my senses! + +"In this mood, I entered the house of my sister. It was +vacant. Scarcely had I regained recollection of the purpose +that brought me hither. Thoughts of a different tendency had +such absolute possession of my mind, that the relations of time +and space were almost obliterated from my understanding. These +wanderings, however, were restrained, and I ascended to her +chamber. + +"I had no light, and might have known by external +observation, that the house was without any inhabitant. With +this, however, I was not satisfied. I entered the room, and the +object of my search not appearing, I prepared to return. + +"The darkness required some caution in descending the stair. +I stretched my hand to seize the balustrade by which I might +regulate my steps. How shall I describe the lustre, which, at +that moment, burst upon my vision! + +"I was dazzled. My organs were bereaved of their activity. +My eye-lids were half-closed, and my hands withdrawn from the +balustrade. A nameless fear chilled my veins, and I stood +motionless. This irradiation did not retire or lessen. It +seemed as if some powerful effulgence covered me like a mantle. + +"I opened my eyes and found all about me luminous and +glowing. It was the element of heaven that flowed around. +Nothing but a fiery stream was at first visible; but, anon, a +shrill voice from behind called upon me to attend. + +"I turned: It is forbidden to describe what I saw: Words, +indeed, would be wanting to the task. The lineaments of that +being, whose veil was now lifted, and whose visage beamed upon +my sight, no hues of pencil or of language can pourtray. + +"As it spoke, the accents thrilled to my heart. "Thy prayers +are heard. In proof of thy faith, render me thy wife. This is +the victim I chuse. Call her hither, and here let her +fall."--The sound, and visage, and light vanished at once. + +"What demand was this? The blood of Catharine was to be +shed! My wife was to perish by my hand! I sought opportunity +to attest my virtue. Little did I expect that a proof like this +would have been demanded. + +"My wife! I exclaimed: O God! substitute some other victim. +Make me not the butcher of my wife. My own blood is cheap. +This will I pour out before thee with a willing heart; but +spare, I beseech thee, this precious life, or commission some +other than her husband to perform the bloody deed. + +"In vain. The conditions were prescribed; the decree had +gone forth, and nothing remained but to execute it. I rushed +out of the house and across the intermediate fields, and stopped +not till I entered my own parlour. +"My wife had remained here during my absence, in anxious +expectation of my return with some tidings of her sister. I had +none to communicate. For a time, I was breathless with my +speed: This, and the tremors that shook my frame, and the +wildness of my looks, alarmed her. She immediately suspected +some disaster to have happened to her friend, and her own speech +was as much overpowered by emotion as mine. + +"She was silent, but her looks manifested her impatience to +hear what I had to communicate. I spoke, but with so much +precipitation as scarcely to be understood; catching her, at the +same time, by the arm, and forcibly pulling her from her seat. + +"Come along with me: fly: waste not a moment: time will be +lost, and the deed will be omitted. Tarry not; question not; +but fly with me! + +"This deportment added afresh to her alarms. Her eyes +pursued mine, and she said, "What is the matter? For God's sake +what is the matter? Where would you have me go?" + +"My eyes were fixed upon her countenance while she spoke. I +thought upon her virtues; I viewed her as the mother of my +babes: as my wife: I recalled the purpose for which I thus +urged her attendance. My heart faltered, and I saw that I must +rouse to this work all my faculties. The danger of the least +delay was imminent. + +"I looked away from her, and again exerting my force, drew +her towards the door--'You must go with me--indeed you must.' + +"In her fright she half-resisted my efforts, and again +exclaimed, 'Good heaven! what is it you mean? Where go? What +has happened? Have you found Clara?" + +"Follow me, and you will see," I answered, still urging her +reluctant steps forward. + +"What phrenzy has seized you? Something must needs have +happened. Is she sick? Have you found her?" + +"Come and see. Follow me, and know for yourself." + +"Still she expostulated and besought me to explain this +mysterious behaviour. I could not trust myself to answer her; +to look at her; but grasping her arm, I drew her after me. She +hesitated, rather through confusion of mind than from +unwillingness to accompany me. This confusion gradually abated, +and she moved forward, but with irresolute footsteps, and +continual exclamations of wonder and terror. Her interrogations +Of "what was the matter?" and "whither was I going?" were +ceaseless and vehement. + +"It was the scope of my efforts not to think; to keep up a +conflict and uproar in my mind in which all order and +distinctness should be lost; to escape from the sensations +produced by her voice. I was, therefore, silent. I strove to +abridge this interval by my haste, and to waste all my attention +in furious gesticulations. + +"In this state of mind we reached my sister's door. She +looked at the windows and saw that all was desolate--"Why come +we here? There is no body here. I will not go in." + +"Still I was dumb; but opening the door, I drew her into the +entry. This was the allotted scene: here she was to fall. I +let go her hand, and pressing my palms against my forehead, made +one mighty effort to work up my soul to the deed. + +"In vain; it would not be; my courage was appalled; my arms +nerveless: I muttered prayers that my strength might be aided +from above. They availed nothing. + +"Horror diffused itself over me. This conviction of my +cowardice, my rebellion, fastened upon me, and I stood rigid and +cold as marble. From this state I was somewhat relieved by my +wife's voice, who renewed her supplications to be told why we +came hither, and what was the fate of my sister. + +"What could I answer? My words were broken and inarticulate. +Her fears naturally acquired force from the observation of these +symptoms; but these fears were misplaced. The only inference +she deduced from my conduct was, that some terrible mishap had +befallen Clara. + +"She wrung her hands, and exclaimed in an agony, "O tell me, +where is she? What has become of her? Is she sick? Dead? Is +she in her chamber? O let me go thither and know the worst!" + +"This proposal set my thoughts once more in motion. Perhaps +what my rebellious heart refused to perform here, I might obtain +strength enough to execute elsewhere. + +"Come then," said I, "let us go." + +"I will, but not in the dark. We must first procure a +light." + +"Fly then and procure it; but I charge you, linger not. I +will await for your return. + +"While she was gone, I strode along the entry. The fellness +of a gloomy hurricane but faintly resembled the discord that +reigned in my mind. To omit this sacrifice must not be; yet my +sinews had refused to perform it. No alternative was offered. +To rebel against the mandate was impossible; but obedience would +render me the executioner of my wife. My will was strong, but +my limbs refused their office. + +"She returned with a light; I led the way to the chamber; she +looked round her; she lifted the curtain of the bed; she saw +nothing. + +"At length, she fixed inquiring eyes upon me. The light now +enabled her to discover in my visage what darkness had hitherto +concealed. Her cares were now transferred from my sister to +myself, and she said in a tremulous voice, "Wieland! you are not +well: What ails you? Can I do nothing for you?" + +"That accents and looks so winning should disarm me of my +resolution, was to be expected. My thoughts were thrown anew +into anarchy. I spread my hand before my eyes that I might not +see her, and answered only by groans. She took my other hand +between her's, and pressing it to her heart, spoke with that +voice which had ever swayed my will, and wafted away sorrow. + +"My friend! my soul's friend! tell me thy cause of grief. Do +I not merit to partake with thee in thy cares? Am I not thy +wife?" + +"This was too much. I broke from her embrace, and retired to +a corner of the room. In this pause, courage was once more +infused into me. I resolved to execute my duty. She followed +me, and renewed her passionate entreaties to know the cause of +my distress. + +"I raised my head and regarded her with stedfast looks. I +muttered something about death, and the injunctions of my duty. +At these words she shrunk back, and looked at me with a new +expression of anguish. After a pause, she clasped her hands, +and exclaimed-- + +"O Wieland! Wieland! God grant that I am mistaken; but surely +something is wrong. I see it: it is too plain: thou art +undone--lost to me and to thyself." At the same time she gazed +on my features with intensest anxiety, in hope that different +symptoms would take place. I replied to her with vehemence-- + +"Undone! No; my duty is known, and I thank my God that my +cowardice is now vanquished, and I have power to fulfil it. +Catharine! I pity the weakness of thy nature: I pity thee, but +must not spare. Thy life is claimed from my hands: thou must +die!" + +"Fear was now added to her grief. 'What mean you? Why talk +you of death? Bethink yourself, Wieland: bethink yourself, and +this fit will pass. O why came I hither! Why did you drag me +hither?' + +"I brought thee hither to fulfil a divine command. I am +appointed thy destroyer, and destroy thee I must." Saying this +I seized her wrists. She shrieked aloud, and endeavoured to +free herself from my grasp; but her efforts were vain. + +"Surely, surely Wieland, thou dost not mean it. Am I not thy +wife? and wouldst thou kill me? Thou wilt not; and yet--I +see--thou art Wieland no longer! A fury resistless and horrible +possesses thee--Spare me--spare--help--help--" + +"Till her breath was stopped she shrieked for help--for +mercy. When she could speak no longer, her gestures, her looks +appealed to my compassion. My accursed hand was irresolute and +tremulous. I meant thy death to be sudden, thy struggles to be +brief. Alas! my heart was infirm; my resolves mutable. Thrice +I slackened my grasp, and life kept its hold, though in the +midst of pangs. Her eye-balls started from their sockets. +Grimness and distortion took place of all that used to bewitch +me into transport, and subdue me into reverence. + +"I was commissioned to kill thee, but not to torment thee +with the foresight of thy death; not to multiply thy fears, and +prolong thy agonies. Haggard, and pale, and lifeless, at length +thou ceasedst to contend with thy destiny. + +"This was a moment of triumph. Thus had I successfully +subdued the stubbornness of human passions: the victim which +had been demanded was given: the deed was done past recal. + +"I lifted the corpse in my arms and laid it on the bed. I +gazed upon it with delight. Such was the elation of my +thoughts, that I even broke into laughter. I clapped my hands +and exclaimed, 'It is done! My sacred duty is fulfilled! To +that I have sacrificed, O my God! thy last and best gift, my +wife!' + +"For a while I thus soared above frailty. I imagined I had +set myself forever beyond the reach of selfishness; but my +imaginations were false. This rapture quickly subsided. I +looked again at my wife. My joyous ebullitions vanished, and I +asked myself who it was whom I saw? Methought it could not be +Catharine. It could not be the woman who had lodged for years +in my heart; who had slept, nightly, in my bosom; who had borne +in her womb, who had fostered at her breast, the beings who +called me father; whom I had watched with delight, and cherished +with a fondness ever new and perpetually growing: it could not +be the same. + +"Where was her bloom! These deadly and blood-suffused orbs +but ill resemble the azure and exstatic tenderness of her eyes. +The lucid stream that meandered over that bosom, the glow of +love that was wont to sit upon that cheek, are much unlike these +livid stains and this hideous deformity. Alas! these were the +traces of agony; the gripe of the assassin had been here! + +"I will not dwell upon my lapse into desperate and outrageous +sorrow. The breath of heaven that sustained me was withdrawn +and I sunk into MERE MAN. I leaped from the floor: I +dashed my head against the wall: I uttered screams of horror: +I panted after torment and pain. Eternal fire, and the +bickerings of hell, compared with what I felt, were music and a +bed of roses. + +"I thank my God that this degeneracy was transient, that he +deigned once more to raise me aloft. I thought upon what I had +done as a sacrifice to duty, and WAS CALM. My wife was +dead; but I reflected, that though this source of human +consolation was closed, yet others were still open. If the +transports of an husband were no more, the feelings of a father +had still scope for exercise. When remembrance of their mother +should excite too keen a pang, I would look upon them, and BE +COMFORTED. + +"While I revolved these ideas, new warmth flowed in upon my +heart--I was wrong. These feelings were the growth of +selfishness. Of this I was not aware, and to dispel the mist +that obscured my perceptions, a new effulgence and a new mandate +were necessary. + +"From these thoughts I was recalled by a ray that was shot +into the room. A voice spake like that which I had before +heard--'Thou hast done well; but all is not done--the sacrifice +is incomplete--thy children must be offered--they must perish +with their mother!--' + + + +Chapter XX + + +Will you wonder that I read no farther? Will you not rather +be astonished that I read thus far? What power supported me +through such a task I know not. Perhaps the doubt from which I +could not disengage my mind, that the scene here depicted was a +dream, contributed to my perseverance. In vain the solemn +introduction of my uncle, his appeals to my fortitude, and +allusions to something monstrous in the events he was about to +disclose; in vain the distressful perplexity, the mysterious +silence and ambiguous answers of my attendants, especially when +the condition of my brother was the theme of my inquiries, were +remembered. I recalled the interview with Wieland in my +chamber, his preternatural tranquillity succeeded by bursts of +passion and menacing actions. All these coincided with the +tenor of this paper. + +Catharine and her children, and Louisa were dead. The act +that destroyed them was, in the highest degree, inhuman. It was +worthy of savages trained to murder, and exulting in agonies. + +Who was the performer of the deed? Wieland! My brother! +The husband and the father! That man of gentle virtues and +invincible benignity! placable and mild--an idolator of peace! +Surely, said I, it is a dream. For many days have I been vexed +with frenzy. Its dominion is still felt; but new forms are +called up to diversify and augment my torments. + +The paper dropped from my hand, and my eyes followed it. I +shrunk back, as if to avoid some petrifying influence that +approached me. My tongue was mute; all the functions of nature +were at a stand, and I sunk upon the floor lifeless. +The noise of my fall, as I afterwards heard, alarmed my +uncle, who was in a lower apartment, and whose apprehensions had +detained him. He hastened to my chamber, and administered the +assistance which my condition required. When I opened my eyes +I beheld him before me. His skill as a reasoner as well as a +physician, was exerted to obviate the injurious effects of this +disclosure; but he had wrongly estimated the strength of my body +or of my mind. This new shock brought me once more to the brink +of the grave, and my malady was much more difficult to subdue +than at first. + +I will not dwell upon the long train of dreary sensations, +and the hideous confusion of my understanding. Time slowly +restored its customary firmness to my frame, and order to my +thoughts. The images impressed upon my mind by this fatal paper +were somewhat effaced by my malady. They were obscure and +disjointed like the parts of a dream. I was desirous of freeing +my imagination from this chaos. For this end I questioned my +uncle, who was my constant companion. He was intimidated by the +issue of his first experiment, and took pains to elude or +discourage my inquiry. My impetuosity some times compelled him +to have resort to misrepresentations and untruths. + +Time effected that end, perhaps, in a more beneficial manner. +In the course of my meditations the recollections of the past +gradually became more distinct. I revolved them, however, in +silence, and being no longer accompanied with surprize, they did +not exercise a death-dealing power. I had discontinued the +perusal of the paper in the midst of the narrative; but what I +read, combined with information elsewhere obtained, threw, +perhaps, a sufficient light upon these detestable transactions; +yet my curiosity was not inactive. I desired to peruse the +remainder. + +My eagerness to know the particulars of this tale was mingled +and abated by my antipathy to the scene which would be +disclosed. Hence I employed no means to effect my purpose. I +desired knowledge, and, at the same time, shrunk back from +receiving the boon. + +One morning, being left alone, I rose from my bed, and went +to a drawer where my finer clothing used to be kept. I opened +it, and this fatal paper saluted my sight. I snatched it +involuntarily, and withdrew to a chair. I debated, for a few +minutes, whether I should open and read. Now that my fortitude +was put to trial, it failed. I felt myself incapable of +deliberately surveying a scene of so much horror. I was +prompted to return it to its place, but this resolution gave +way, and I determined to peruse some part of it. I turned over +the leaves till I came near the conclusion. The narrative of +the criminal was finished. The verdict of GUILTY reluctantly +pronounced by the jury, and the accused interrogated why +sentence of death should not pass. The answer was brief, +solemn, and emphatical. + +"No. I have nothing to say. My tale has been told. My +motives have been truly stated. If my judges are unable to +discern the purity of my intentions, or to credit the statement +of them, which I have just made; if they see not that my deed +was enjoined by heaven; that obedience was the test of perfect +virtue, and the extinction of selfishness and error, they must +pronounce me a murderer. + +"They refuse to credit my tale; they impute my acts to the +influence of daemons; they account me an example of the highest +wickedness of which human nature is capable; they doom me to +death and infamy. Have I power to escape this evil? If I have, +be sure I will exert it. I will not accept evil at their hand, +when I am entitled to good; I will suffer only when I cannot +elude suffering. + +"You say that I am guilty. Impious and rash! thus to usurp +the prerogatives of your Maker! to set up your bounded views and +halting reason, as the measure of truth! + +"Thou, Omnipotent and Holy! Thou knowest that my actions +were conformable to thy will. I know not what is crime; what +actions are evil in their ultimate and comprehensive tendency or +what are good. Thy knowledge, as thy power, is unlimited. I +have taken thee for my guide, and cannot err. To the arms of +thy protection, I entrust my safety. In the awards of thy +justice, I confide for my recompense. + +"Come death when it will, I am safe. Let calumny and +abhorrence pursue me among men; I shall not be defrauded of my +dues. The peace of virtue, and the glory of obedience, will be +my portion hereafter." + +Here ended the speaker. I withdrew my eyes from the page; +but before I had time to reflect on what I had read, Mr. +Cambridge entered the room. He quickly perceived how I had been +employed, and betrayed some solicitude respecting the condition +of my mind. + +His fears, however, were superfluous. What I had read, threw +me into a state not easily described. Anguish and fury, +however, had no part in it. My faculties were chained up in +wonder and awe. Just then, I was unable to speak. I looked at +my friend with an air of inquisitiveness, and pointed at the +roll. He comprehended my inquiry, and answered me with looks of +gloomy acquiescence. After some time, my thoughts found their +way to my lips. + +Such then were the acts of my brother. Such were his words. +For this he was condemned to die: To die upon the gallows! A +fate, cruel and unmerited! And is it so? continued I, +struggling for utterance, which this new idea made difficult; is +he--dead! + +"No. He is alive. There could be no doubt as to the cause +of these excesses. They originated in sudden madness; but that +madness continues. and he is condemned to perpetual +imprisonment." + +"Madness, say you? Are you sure? Were not these sights, and +these sounds, really seen and heard?" + +My uncle was surprized at my question. He looked at me with +apparent inquietude. "Can you doubt," said he, "that these were +illusions? Does heaven, think you, interfere for such ends?" + +"O no; I think it not. Heaven cannot stimulate to such +unheard-of outrage. The agent was not good, but evil." + +"Nay, my dear girl," said my friend, "lay aside these +fancies. Neither angel nor devil had any part in this affair." + +"You misunderstand me," I answered; "I believe the agency to +be external and real, but not supernatural." + +"Indeed!" said he, in an accent of surprize. "Whom do you +then suppose to be the agent?" + +"I know not. All is wildering conjecture. I cannot forget +Carwin. I cannot banish the suspicion that he was the setter of +these snares. But how can we suppose it to be madness? Did +insanity ever before assume this form?" + +"Frequently. The illusion, in this case, was more dreadful +in its consequences, than any that has come to my knowledge; +but, I repeat that similar illusions are not rare. Did you +never hear of an instance which occurred in your mother's +family?" + +"No. I beseech you relate it. My grandfather's death I have +understood to have been extraordinary, but I know not in what +respect. A brother, to whom he was much attached, died in his +youth, and this, as I have heard, influenced, in some remarkable +way, the fate of my grandfather; but I am unacquainted with +particulars." + +"On the death of that brother," resumed my friend, "my father +was seized with dejection, which was found to flow from two +sources. He not only grieved for the loss of a friend, but +entertained the belief that his own death would be inevitably +consequent on that of his brother. He waited from day to day in +expectation of the stroke which he predicted was speedily to +fall upon him. Gradually, however, he recovered his +cheerfulness and confidence. He married, and performed his part +in the world with spirit and activity. At the end of twenty-one +years it happened that he spent the summer with his family at an +house which he possessed on the sea coast in Cornwall. It was +at no great distance from a cliff which overhung the ocean, and +rose into the air to a great height. The summit was level and +secure, and easily ascended on the land side. The company +frequently repaired hither in clear weather, invited by its pure +airs and extensive prospects. One evening in June my father, +with his wife and some friends, chanced to be on this spot. +Every one was happy, and my father's imagination seemed +particularly alive to the grandeur of the scenery. + +"Suddenly, however, his limbs trembled and his features +betrayed alarm. He threw himself into the attitude of one +listening. He gazed earnestly in a direction in which nothing +was visible to his friends. This lasted for a minute; then +turning to his companions, he told them that his brother had +just delivered to him a summons, which must be instantly obeyed. +He then took an hasty and solemn leave of each person, and, +before their surprize would allow them to understand the scene, +he rushed to the edge of the cliff, threw himself headlong, and +was seen no more. + +"In the course of my practice in the German army, many cases, +equally remarkable, have occurred. Unquestionably the illusions +were maniacal, though the vulgar thought otherwise. They are +all reducible to one class,* and are not more difficult of +explication and cure than most affections of our frame." + +This opinion my uncle endeavoured, by various means, to +impress upon me. I listened to his reasonings and illustrations +with silent respect. My astonishment was great on finding +proofs of an influence of which I had supposed there were no +examples; but I was far from accounting for appearances in my +uncle's manner. Ideas thronged into my mind which I was unable +to disjoin or to regulate. I reflected that this madness, if +madness it were, had affected Pleyel and myself as well as +Wieland. Pleyel had heard a mysterious voice. I had seen and +heard. A form had showed itself to me as well as to Wieland. +The disclosure had been made in the same spot. The appearance +was equally complete and equally prodigious in both instances. +Whatever supposition I should adopt, had I not equal reason to +tremble? What was my security against influences equally +terrific and equally irresistable? + +It would be vain to attempt to describe the state of mind +which this idea produced. I wondered at the change which a +moment had affected in my brother's condition. Now was I +stupified with tenfold wonder in contemplating myself. Was I +not likewise transformed from rational and human into a creature +of nameless and fearful attributes? Was I not transported to +the brink of the same abyss? Ere a new day should come, my +hands might be embrued in blood, and my remaining life be +consigned to a dungeon and chains. + +With moral sensibility like mine, no wonder that this new +dread was more insupportable than the anguish I had lately +endured. Grief carries its own antidote along with it. When +thought becomes merely a vehicle of pain, its progress must be +stopped. Death is a cure which nature or ourselves must +administer: To this cure I now looked forward with gloomy +satisfaction. + +My silence could not conceal from my uncle the state of my +thoughts. He made unwearied efforts to divert my attention from +views so pregnant with danger. His efforts, aided by time, were +in some measure successful. Confidence in the strength of my +resolution, and in the healthful state of my faculties, was once +more revived. I was able to devote my thoughts to my brother's +state, and the causes of this disasterous proceeding. + +My opinions were the sport of eternal change. Some times I +conceived the apparition to be more than human. I had no +grounds on which to build a disbelief. I could not deny faith +to the evidence of my religion; the testimony of men was loud +and unanimous: both these concurred to persuade me that evil +spirits existed, and that their energy was frequently exerted in +the system of the world. + +These ideas connected themselves with the image of Carwin. +Where is the proof, said I, that daemons may not be subjected to +the controul of men? This truth may be distorted and debased in +the minds of the ignorant. The dogmas of the vulgar, with +regard to this subject, are glaringly absurd; but though these +may justly be neglected by the wise, we are scarcely justified +in totally rejecting the possibility that men may obtain +supernatural aid. + +The dreams of superstition are worthy of contempt. +Witchcraft, its instruments and miracles, the compact ratified +by a bloody signature, the apparatus of sulpherous smells and +thundering explosions, are monstrous and chimerical. These have +no part in the scene over which the genius of Carwin presides. +That conscious beings, dissimilar from human, but moral and +voluntary agents as we are, some where exist, can scarcely be +denied. That their aid may be employed to benign or malignant +purposes, cannot be disproved. + +Darkness rests upon the designs of this man. The extent of +his power is unknown; but is there not evidence that it has been +now exerted? + +I recurred to my own experience. Here Carwin had actually +appeared upon the stage; but this was in a human character. A +voice and a form were discovered; but one was apparently +exerted, and the other disclosed, not to befriend, but to +counteract Carwin's designs. There were tokens of hostility, +and not of alliance, between them. Carwin was the miscreant +whose projects were resisted by a minister of heaven. How can +this be reconciled to the stratagem which ruined my brother? +There the agency was at once preternatural and malignant. + +The recollection of this fact led my thoughts into a new +channel. The malignity of that influence which governed my +brother had hitherto been no subject of doubt. His wife and +children were destroyed; they had expired in agony and fear; yet +was it indisputably certain that their murderer was criminal? +He was acquitted at the tribunal of his own conscience; his +behaviour at his trial and since, was faithfully reported to me; +appearances were uniform; not for a moment did he lay aside the +majesty of virtue; he repelled all invectives by appealing to +the deity, and to the tenor of his past life; surely there was +truth in this appeal: none but a command from heaven could have +swayed his will; and nothing but unerring proof of divine +approbation could sustain his mind in its present elevation. + + +*Mania Mutabilis. See Darwin's Zoonomia, vol. ii. Class +III. 1.2. where similar cases are stated. + + + +Chapter XXI + + +Such, for some time, was the course of my meditations. My +weakness, and my aversion to be pointed at as an object of +surprize or compassion, prevented me from going into public. I +studiously avoided the visits of those who came to express their +sympathy, or gratify their curiosity. My uncle was my principal +companion. Nothing more powerfully tended to console me than +his conversation. + +With regard to Pleyel, my feelings seemed to have undergone +a total revolution. It often happens that one passion supplants +another. Late disasters had rent my heart, and now that the +wound was in some degree closed, the love which I had cherished +for this man seemed likewise to have vanished. + +Hitherto, indeed, I had had no cause for despair. I was +innocent of that offence which had estranged him from my +presence. I might reasonably expect that my innocence would at +some time be irresistably demonstrated, and his affection for me +be revived with his esteem. Now my aversion to be thought +culpable by him continued, but was unattended with the same +impatience. I desired the removal of his suspicions, not for +the sake of regaining his love, but because I delighted in the +veneration of so excellent a man, and because he himself would +derive pleasure from conviction of my integrity. + +My uncle had early informed me that Pleyel and he had seen +each other, since the return of the latter from Europe. Amidst +the topics of their conversation, I discovered that Pleyel had +carefully omitted the mention of those events which had drawn +upon me so much abhorrence. I could not account for his silence +on this subject. Perhaps time or some new discovery had altered +or shaken his opinion. Perhaps he was unwilling, though I were +guilty, to injure me in the opinion of my venerable kinsman. I +understood that he had frequently visited me during my disease, +had watched many successive nights by my bedside, and manifested +the utmost anxiety on my account. + +The journey which he was preparing to take, at the +termination of our last interview, the catastrophe of the +ensuing night induced him to delay. The motives of this journey +I had, till now, totally mistaken. They were explained to me by +my uncle, whose tale excited my astonishment without awakening +my regret. In a different state of mind, it would have added +unspeakably to my distress, but now it was more a source of +pleasure than pain. This, perhaps, is not the least +extraordinary of the facts contained in this narrative. It will +excite less wonder when I add, that my indifference was +temporary, and that the lapse of a few days shewed me that my +feelings were deadened for a time, rather than finally +extinguished. + +Theresa de Stolberg was alive. She had conceived the +resolution of seeking her lover in America. To conceal her +flight, she had caused the report of her death to be propagated. +She put herself under the conduct of Bertrand, the faithful +servant of Pleyel. The pacquet which the latter received from +the hands of his servant, contained the tidings of her safe +arrival at Boston, and to meet her there was the purpose of his +journey. + +This discovery had set this man's character in a new light. +I had mistaken the heroism of friendship for the phrenzy of +love. He who had gained my affections, may be supposed to have +previously entitled himself to my reverence; but the levity +which had formerly characterized the behaviour of this man, +tended to obscure the greatness of his sentiments. I did not +fail to remark, that since this lady was still alive, the voice +in the temple which asserted her death, must either have been +intended to deceive, or have been itself deceived. The latter +supposition was inconsistent with the notion of a spiritual, and +the former with that of a benevolent being. + +When my disease abated, Pleyel had forborne his visits, and +had lately set out upon this journey. This amounted to a proof +that my guilt was still believed by him. I was grieved for his +errors, but trusted that my vindication would, sooner or later, +be made. + +Meanwhile, tumultuous thoughts were again set afloat by a +proposal made to me by my uncle. He imagined that new airs +would restore my languishing constitution, and a varied +succession of objects tend to repair the shock which my mind had +received. For this end, he proposed to me to take up my abode +with him in France or Italy. + +At a more prosperous period, this scheme would have pleased +for its own sake. Now my heart sickened at the prospect of +nature. The world of man was shrowded in misery and blood, and +constituted a loathsome spectacle. I willingly closed my eyes +in sleep, and regretted that the respite it afforded me was so +short. I marked with satisfaction the progress of decay in my +frame, and consented to live, merely in the hope that the course +of nature would speedily relieve me from the burthen. +Nevertheless, as he persisted in his scheme, I concurred in it +merely because he was entitled to my gratitude, and because my +refusal gave him pain. + +No sooner was he informed of my consent, than he told me I +must make immediate preparation to embark, as the ship in which +he had engaged a passage would be ready to depart in three days. +This expedition was unexpected. There was an impatience in his +manner when he urged the necessity of dispatch that excited my +surprize. When I questioned him as to the cause of this haste, +he generally stated reasons which, at that time, I could not +deny to be plausible; but which, on the review, appeared +insufficient. I suspected that the true motives were concealed, +and believed that these motives had some connection with my +brother's destiny. + +I now recollected that the information respecting Wieland +which had, from time to time, been imparted to me, was always +accompanied with airs of reserve and mysteriousness. What had +appeared sufficiently explicit at the time it was uttered, I now +remembered to have been faltering and ambiguous. I was resolved +to remove my doubts, by visiting the unfortunate man in his +dungeon. + +Heretofore the idea of this visit had occurred to me; but the +horrors of his dwelling-place, his wild yet placid physiognomy, +his neglected locks, the fetters which constrained his limbs, +terrible as they were in description, how could I endure to +behold! + +Now, however, that I was preparing to take an everlasting +farewell of my country, now that an ocean was henceforth to +separate me from him, how could I part without an interview? I +would examine his situation with my own eyes. I would know +whether the representations which had been made to me were true. +Perhaps the sight of the sister whom he was wont to love with a +passion more than fraternal, might have an auspicious influence +on his malady. + +Having formed this resolution, I waited to communicate it to +Mr. Cambridge. I was aware that, without his concurrence, I +could not hope to carry it into execution, and could discover no +objection to which it was liable. If I had not been deceived as +to his condition, no inconvenience could arise from this +proceeding. His consent, therefore, would be the test of his +sincerity. + +I seized this opportunity to state my wishes on this head. +My suspicions were confirmed by the manner in which my request +affected him. After some pause, in which his countenance +betrayed every mark of perplexity, he said to me, "Why would you +pay this visit? What useful purpose can it serve?" + +"We are preparing," said I, "to leave the country forever: +What kind of being should I be to leave behind me a brother in +calamity without even a parting interview? Indulge me for three +minutes in the sight of him. My heart will be much easier after +I have looked at him, and shed a few tears in his presence." + +"I believe otherwise. The sight of him would only augment +your distress, without contributing, in any degree, to his +benefit." + +"I know not that," returned I. "Surely the sympathy of his +sister, proofs that her tenderness is as lively as ever, must be +a source of satisfaction to him. At present he must regard all +mankind as his enemies and calumniators. His sister he, +probably, conceives to partake in the general infatuation, and +to join in the cry of abhorrence that is raised against him. To +be undeceived in this respect, to be assured that, however I may +impute his conduct to delusion, I still retain all my former +affection for his person, and veneration for the purity of his +motives, cannot but afford him pleasure. When he hears that I +have left the country, without even the ceremonious attention of +a visit, what will he think of me? His magnanimity may hinder +him from repining, but he will surely consider my behaviour as +savage and unfeeling. Indeed, dear Sir, I must pay this visit. +To embark with you without paying it, will be impossible. It +may be of no service to him, but will enable me to acquit myself +of what I cannot but esteem a duty. Besides," continued I, "if +it be a mere fit of insanity that has seized him, may not my +presence chance to have a salutary influence? The mere sight of +me, it is not impossible, may rectify his perceptions." + +"Ay," said my uncle, with some eagerness; "it is by no means +impossible that your interview may have that effect; and for +that reason, beyond all others, would I dissuade you from it." + +I expressed my surprize at this declaration. "Is it not to +be desired that an error so fatal as this should be rectified?" + +"I wonder at your question. Reflect on the consequences of +this error. Has he not destroyed the wife whom he loved, the +children whom he idolized? What is it that enables him to bear +the remembrance, but the belief that he acted as his duty +enjoined? Would you rashly bereave him of this belief? Would +you restore him to himself, and convince him that he was +instigated to this dreadful outrage by a perversion of his +organs, or a delusion from hell? + +"Now his visions are joyous and elate. He conceives himself +to have reached a loftier degree of virtue, than any other human +being. The merit of his sacrifice is only enhanced in the eyes +of superior beings, by the detestation that pursues him here, +and the sufferings to which he is condemned. The belief that +even his sister has deserted him, and gone over to his enemies, +adds to his sublimity of feelings, and his confidence in divine +approbation and future recompense. + +"Let him be undeceived in this respect, and what floods of +despair and of horror will overwhelm him! Instead of glowing +approbation and serene hope, will he not hate and torture +himself? Self-violence, or a phrenzy far more savage and +destructive than this, may be expected to succeed. I beseech +you, therefore, to relinquish this scheme. If you calmly +reflect upon it, you will discover that your duty lies in +carefully shunning him." + +Mr. Cambridge's reasonings suggested views to my +understanding, that had not hitherto occurred. I could not but +admit their validity, but they shewed, in a new light, the depth +of that misfortune in which my brother was plunged. I was +silent and irresolute. + +Presently, I considered, that whether Wieland was a maniac, +a faithful servant of his God, the victim of hellish illusions, +or the dupe of human imposture, was by no means certain. In +this state of my mind it became me to be silent during the visit +that I projected. This visit should be brief: I should be +satisfied merely to snatch a look at him. Admitting that a +change in his opinions were not to be desired, there was no +danger from the conduct which I should pursue, that this change +should be wrought. + +But I could not conquer my uncle's aversion to this scheme. +Yet I persisted, and he found that to make me voluntarily +relinquish it, it was necessary to be more explicit than he had +hitherto been. He took both my hands, and anxiously examining +my countenance as he spoke, "Clara," said he, "this visit must +not be paid. We must hasten with the utmost expedition from +this shore. It is folly to conceal the truth from you, and, +since it is only by disclosing the truth that you can be +prevailed upon to lay aside this project, the truth shall be +told. + +"O my dear girl!" continued he with increasing energy in his +accent, "your brother's phrenzy is, indeed, stupendous and +frightful. The soul that formerly actuated his frame has +disappeared. The same form remains; but the wise and benevolent +Wieland is no more. A fury that is rapacious of blood, that +lifts his strength almost above that of mortals, that bends all +his energies to the destruction of whatever was once dear to +him, possesses him wholly. + +"You must not enter his dungeon; his eyes will no sooner be +fixed upon you, than an exertion of his force will be made. He +will shake off his fetters in a moment, and rush upon you. No +interposition will then be strong or quick enough to save you. + +"The phantom that has urged him to the murder of Catharine +and her children is not yet appeased. Your life, and that of +Pleyel, are exacted from him by this imaginary being. He is +eager to comply with this demand. Twice he has escaped from his +prison. The first time, he no sooner found himself at liberty, +than he hasted to Pleyel's house. It being midnight, the latter +was in bed. Wieland penetrated unobserved to his chamber, and +opened his curtain. Happily, Pleyel awoke at the critical +moment, and escaped the fury of his kinsman, by leaping from his +chamber-window into the court. Happily, he reached the ground +without injury. Alarms were given, and after diligent search, +your brother was found in a chamber of your house, whither, no +doubt, he had sought you. +"His chains, and the watchfulness of his guards, were +redoubled; but again, by some miracle, he restored himself to +liberty. He was now incautiously apprized of the place of your +abode: and had not information of his escape been instantly +given, your death would have been added to the number of his +atrocious acts. + +"You now see the danger of your project. You must not only +forbear to visit him, but if you would save him from the crime +of embruing his hands in your blood, you must leave the country. +There is no hope that his malady will end but with his life, and +no precaution will ensure your safety, but that of placing the +ocean between you. + +"I confess I came over with an intention to reside among you, +but these disasters have changed my views. Your own safety and +my happiness require that you should accompany me in my return, +and I entreat you to give your cheerful concurrence to this +measure." + +After these representations from my uncle, it was impossible +to retain my purpose. I readily consented to seclude myself +from Wieland's presence. I likewise acquiesced in the proposal +to go to Europe; not that I ever expected to arrive there, but +because, since my principles forbad me to assail my own life, +change had some tendency to make supportable the few days which +disease should spare to me. + +What a tale had thus been unfolded! I was hunted to death, +not by one whom my misconduct had exasperated, who was conscious +of illicit motives, and who sought his end by circumvention and +surprize; but by one who deemed himself commissioned for this +act by heaven; who regarded this career of horror as the last +refinement of virtue; whose implacability was proportioned to +the reverence and love which he felt for me, and who was +inaccessible to the fear of punishment and ignominy! + +In vain should I endeavour to stay his hand by urging the +claims of a sister or friend: these were his only reasons for +pursuing my destruction. Had I been a stranger to his blood; +had I been the most worthless of human kind; my safety had not +been endangered. + +Surely, said I, my fate is without example. The phrenzy +which is charged upon my brother, must belong to myself. My foe +is manacled and guarded; but I derive no security from these +restraints. I live not in a community of savages; yet, whether +I sit or walk, go into crouds, or hide myself in solitude, my +life is marked for a prey to inhuman violence; I am in perpetual +danger of perishing; of perishing under the grasp of a brother! + +I recollected the omens of this destiny; I remembered the +gulf to which my brother's invitation had conducted me; I +remembered that, when on the brink of danger, the author of my +peril was depicted by my fears in his form: Thus realized, were +the creatures of prophetic sleep, and of wakeful terror! + +These images were unavoidably connected with that of Carwin. +In this paroxysm of distress, my attention fastened on him as +the grand deceiver; the author of this black conspiracy; the +intelligence that governed in this storm. + +Some relief is afforded in the midst of suffering, when its +author is discovered or imagined; and an object found on which +we may pour out our indignation and our vengeance. I ran over +the events that had taken place since the origin of our +intercourse with him, and reflected on the tenor of that +description which was received from Ludloe. Mixed up with +notions of supernatural agency, were the vehement suspicions +which I entertained, that Carwin was the enemy whose +machinations had destroyed us. + +I thirsted for knowledge and for vengeance. I regarded my +hasty departure with reluctance, since it would remove me from +the means by which this knowledge might be obtained, and this +vengeance gratified. This departure was to take place in two +days. At the end of two days I was to bid an eternal adieu to +my native country. Should I not pay a parting visit to the +scene of these disasters? Should I not bedew with my tears the +graves of my sister and her children? Should I not explore +their desolate habitation, and gather from the sight of its +walls and furniture food for my eternal melancholy? + +This suggestion was succeeded by a secret shuddering. Some +disastrous influence appeared to overhang the scene. How many +memorials should I meet with serving to recall the images of +those I had lost! + +I was tempted to relinquish my design, when it occurred to me +that I had left among my papers a journal of transactions in +shorthand. I was employed in this manuscript on that night when +Pleyel's incautious curiosity tempted him to look over my +shoulder. I was then recording my adventure in THE RECESS, an +imperfect sight of which led him into such fatal errors. + +I had regulated the disposition of all my property. This +manuscript, however, which contained the most secret +transactions of my life, I was desirous of destroying. For this +end I must return to my house, and this I immediately determined +to do. + +I was not willing to expose myself to opposition from my +friends, by mentioning my design; I therefore bespoke the use of +Mr. Hallet's chaise, under pretence of enjoying an airing, as +the day was remarkably bright. + +This request was gladly complied with, and I directed the +servant to conduct me to Mettingen. I dismissed him at the +gate, intending to use, in returning, a carriage belonging to my +brother. + + + +Chapter XXII + + +The inhabitants of the HUT received me with a mixture of joy +and surprize. Their homely welcome, and their artless sympathy, +were grateful to my feelings. In the midst of their inquiries, +as to my health, they avoided all allusions to the source of my +malady. They were honest creatures, and I loved them well. I +participated in the tears which they shed when I mentioned to +them my speedy departure for Europe, and promised to acquaint +them with my welfare during my long absence. + +They expressed great surprize when I informed them of my +intention to visit my cottage. Alarm and foreboding overspread +their features, and they attempted to dissuade me from visiting +an house which they firmly believed to be haunted by a thousand +ghastly apparitions. + +These apprehensions, however, had no power over my conduct. +I took an irregular path which led me to my own house. All was +vacant and forlorn. A small enclosure, near which the path led, +was the burying-ground belonging to the family. This I was +obliged to pass. Once I had intended to enter it, and ponder on +the emblems and inscriptions which my uncle had caused to be +made on the tombs of Catharine and her children; but now my +heart faltered as I approached, and I hastened forward, that +distance might conceal it from my view. + +When I approached the recess, my heart again sunk. I averted +my eyes, and left it behind me as quickly as possible. Silence +reigned through my habitation, and a darkness which closed doors +and shutters produced. Every object was connected with mine or +my brother's history. I passed the entry, mounted the stair, +and unlocked the door of my chamber. It was with difficulty +that I curbed my fancy and smothered my fears. Slight movements +and casual sounds were transformed into beckoning shadows and +calling shapes. + +I proceeded to the closet. I opened and looked round it with +fearfulness. All things were in their accustomed order. I +sought and found the manuscript where I was used to deposit it. +This being secured, there was nothing to detain me; yet I stood +and contemplated awhile the furniture and walls of my chamber. +I remembered how long this apartment had been a sweet and +tranquil asylum; I compared its former state with its present +dreariness, and reflected that I now beheld it for the last +time. + +Here it was that the incomprehensible behaviour of Carwin was +witnessed: this the stage on which that enemy of man shewed +himself for a moment unmasked. Here the menaces of murder were +wafted to my ear; and here these menaces were executed. + +These thoughts had a tendency to take from me my +self-command. My feeble limbs refused to support me, and I sunk +upon a chair. Incoherent and half-articulate exclamations +escaped my lips. The name of Carwin was uttered, and eternal +woes, woes like that which his malice had entailed upon us, were +heaped upon him. I invoked all-seeing heaven to drag to light +and to punish this betrayer, and accused its providence for +having thus long delayed the retribution that was due to so +enormous a guilt. + +I have said that the window shutters were closed. A feeble +light, however, found entrance through the crevices. A small +window illuminated the closet, and the door being closed, a dim +ray streamed through the key-hole. A kind of twilight was thus +created, sufficient for the purposes of vision; but, at the same +time, involving all minuter objects in obscurity. + +This darkness suited the colour of my thoughts. I sickened +at the remembrance of the past. The prospect of the future +excited my loathing. I muttered in a low voice, Why should I +live longer? Why should I drag a miserable being? All, for +whom I ought to live, have perished. Am I not myself hunted to +death? + +At that moment, my despair suddenly became vigorous. My +nerves were no longer unstrung. My powers, that had long been +deadened, were revived. My bosom swelled with a sudden energy, +and the conviction darted through my mind, that to end my +torments was, at once, practicable and wise. + +I knew how to find way to the recesses of life. I could use +a lancet with some skill, and could distinguish between vein and +artery. By piercing deep into the latter, I should shun the +evils which the future had in store for me, and take refuge from +my woes in quiet death. + +I started on my feet, for my feebleness was gone, and hasted +to the closet. A lancet and other small instruments were +preserved in a case which I had deposited here. Inattentive as +I was to foreign considerations, my ears were still open to any +sound of mysterious import that should occur. I thought I heard +a step in the entry. My purpose was suspended, and I cast an +eager glance at my chamber door, which was open. No one +appeared, unless the shadow which I discerned upon the floor, +was the outline of a man. If it were, I was authorized to +suspect that some one was posted close to the entrance, who +possibly had overheard my exclamations. + +My teeth chattered, and a wild confusion took place of my +momentary calm. Thus it was when a terrific visage had +disclosed itself on a former night. Thus it was when the evil +destiny of Wieland assumed the lineaments of something human. +What horrid apparition was preparing to blast my sight? + +Still I listened and gazed. Not long, for the shadow moved; +a foot, unshapely and huge, was thrust forward; a form advanced +from its concealment, and stalked into the room. It was Carwin! +While I had breath I shrieked. While I had power over my +muscles, I motioned with my hand that he should vanish. My +exertions could not last long; I sunk into a fit. + +O that this grateful oblivion had lasted for ever! Too +quickly I recovered my senses. The power of distinct vision was +no sooner restored to me, than this hateful form again presented +itself, and I once more relapsed. + +A second time, untoward nature recalled me from the sleep of +death. I found myself stretched upon the bed. When I had power +to look up, I remembered only that I had cause to fear. My +distempered fancy fashioned to itself no distinguishable image. +I threw a languid glance round me; once more my eyes lighted +upon Carwin. + +He was seated on the floor, his back rested against the wall, +his knees were drawn up, and his face was buried in his hands. +That his station was at some distance, that his attitude was not +menacing, that his ominous visage was concealed, may account for +my now escaping a shock, violent as those which were past. I +withdrew my eyes, but was not again deserted by my senses. + +On perceiving that I had recovered my sensibility, he lifted +his head. This motion attracted my attention. His countenance +was mild, but sorrow and astonishment sat upon his features. I +averted my eyes and feebly exclaimed--"O! fly--fly far and for +ever!--I cannot behold you and live!" + +He did not rise upon his feet, but clasped his hands, and +said in a tone of deprecation--"I will fly. I am become a +fiend, the sight of whom destroys. Yet tell me my offence! You +have linked curses with my name; you ascribe to me a malice +monstrous and infernal. I look around; all is loneliness and +desert! This house and your brother's are solitary and +dismantled! You die away at the sight of me! My fear whispers +that some deed of horror has been perpetrated; that I am the +undesigning cause." + +What language was this? Had he not avowed himself a +ravisher? Had not this chamber witnessed his atrocious +purposes? I besought him with new vehemence to go. + +He lifted his eyes--"Great heaven! what have I done? I think +I know the extent of my offences. I have acted, but my actions +have possibly effected more than I designed. This fear has +brought me back from my retreat. I come to repair the evil of +which my rashness was the cause, and to prevent more evil. I +come to confess my errors." + +"Wretch!" I cried when my suffocating emotions would permit +me to speak, "the ghosts of my sister and her children, do they +not rise to accuse thee? Who was it that blasted the intellects +of Wieland? Who was it that urged him to fury, and guided him +to murder? Who, but thou and the devil, with whom thou art +confederated?" + +At these words a new spirit pervaded his countenance. His +eyes once more appealed to heaven. "If I have memory, if I have +being, I am innocent. I intended no ill; but my folly, +indirectly and remotely, may have caused it; but what words are +these! Your brother lunatic! His children dead!" + +What should I infer from this deportment? Was the ignorance +which these words implied real or pretended?--Yet how could I +imagine a mere human agency in these events? But if the +influence was preternatural or maniacal in my brother's case, +they must be equally so in my own. Then I remembered that the +voice exerted, was to save me from Carwin's attempts. These +ideas tended to abate my abhorrence of this man, and to detect +the absurdity of my accusations. + +"Alas!" said I, "I have no one to accuse. Leave me to my +fate. Fly from a scene stained with cruelty; devoted to +despair." + +Carwin stood for a time musing and mournful. At length he +said, "What has happened? I came to expiate my crimes: let me +know them in their full extent. I have horrible forebodings! +What has happened?" + +I was silent; but recollecting the intimation given by this +man when he was detected in my closet, which implied some +knowledge of that power which interfered in my favor, I eagerly +inquired, "What was that voice which called upon me to hold when +I attempted to open the closet? What face was that which I saw +at the bottom of the stairs? Answer me truly." + +"I came to confess the truth. Your allusions are horrible +and strange. Perhaps I have but faint conceptions of the evils +which my infatuation has produced; but what remains I will +perform. It was my VOICE that you heard! It was my +FACE that you saw!" + +For a moment I doubted whether my remembrance of events were +not confused. How could he be at once stationed at my shoulder +and shut up in my closet? How could he stand near me and yet be +invisible? But if Carwin's were the thrilling voice and the +fiery visage which I had heard and seen, then was he the +prompter of my brother, and the author of these dismal outrages. + +Once more I averted my eyes and struggled for speech. +"Begone! thou man of mischief! Remorseless and implacable +miscreant! begone!" + +"I will obey," said he in a disconsolate voice; "yet, wretch +as I am, am I unworthy to repair the evils that I have +committed? I came as a repentant criminal. It is you whom I +have injured, and at your bar am I willing to appear, and +confess and expiate my crimes. I have deceived you: I have +sported with your terrors: I have plotted to destroy your +reputation. I come now to remove your errors; to set you beyond +the reach of similar fears; to rebuild your fame as far as I am +able. + +"This is the amount of my guilt, and this the fruit of my +remorse. Will you not hear me? Listen to my confession, and +then denounce punishment. All I ask is a patient audience." + +"What!" I replied, "was not thine the voice that commanded my +brother to imbrue his hands in the blood of his children--to +strangle that angel of sweetness his wife? Has he not vowed my +death, and the death of Pleyel, at thy bidding? Hast thou not +made him the butcher of his family; changed him who was the +glory of his species into worse than brute; robbed him of +reason, and consigned the rest of his days to fetters and +stripes?" + +Carwin's eyes glared, and his limbs were petrified at this +intelligence. No words were requisite to prove him guiltless of +these enormities: at the time, however, I was nearly insensible +to these exculpatory tokens. He walked to the farther end of +the room, and having recovered some degree of composure, he +spoke-- + +"I am not this villain; I have slain no one; I have prompted +none to slay; I have handled a tool of wonderful efficacy +without malignant intentions, but without caution; ample will be +the punishment of my temerity, if my conduct has contributed to +this evil." He paused.-- + +I likewise was silent. I struggled to command myself so far +as to listen to the tale which he should tell. Observing this, +he continued-- + +"You are not apprized of the existence of a power which I +possess. I know not by what name to call it.* It enables me to +mimic exactly the voice of another, and to modify the sound so +that it shall appear to come from what quarter, and be uttered +at what distance I please. + +"I know not that every one possesses this power. Perhaps, +though a casual position of my organs in my youth shewed me that +I possessed it, it is an art which may be taught to all. Would +to God I had died unknowing of the secret! It has produced +nothing but degradation and calamity. + +"For a time the possession of so potent and stupendous an +endowment elated me with pride. Unfortified by principle, +subjected to poverty, stimulated by headlong passions, I made +this powerful engine subservient to the supply of my wants, and +the gratification of my vanity. I shall not mention how +diligently I cultivated this gift, which seemed capable of +unlimited improvement; nor detail the various occasions on which +it was successfully exerted to lead superstition, conquer +avarice, or excite awe. + +"I left America, which is my native soil, in my youth. I +have been engaged in various scenes of life, in which my +peculiar talent has been exercised with more or less success. +I was finally betrayed by one who called himself my friend, into +acts which cannot be justified, though they are susceptible of +apology. + +"The perfidy of this man compelled me to withdraw from +Europe. I returned to my native country, uncertain whether +silence and obscurity would save me from his malice. I resided +in the purlieus of the city. I put on the garb and assumed the +manners of a clown. + +"My chief recreation was walking. My principal haunts were +the lawns and gardens of Mettingen. In this delightful region +the luxuriances of nature had been chastened by judicious art, +and each successive contemplation unfolded new enchantments. + +" I was studious of seclusion: I was satiated with the +intercourse of mankind, and discretion required me to shun their +intercourse. For these reasons I long avoided the observation +of your family, and chiefly visited these precincts at night. + +"I was never weary of admiring the position and ornaments of +THE TEMPLE. Many a night have I passed under its roof, +revolving no pleasing meditations. When, in my frequent +rambles, I perceived this apartment was occupied, I gave a +different direction to my steps. One evening, when a shower had +just passed, judging by the silence that no one was within, I +ascended to this building. Glancing carelessly round, I +perceived an open letter on the pedestal. To read it was +doubtless an offence against politeness. Of this offence, +however, I was guilty. + +"Scarcely had I gone half through when I was alarmed by the +approach of your brother. To scramble down the cliff on the +opposite side was impracticable. I was unprepared to meet a +stranger. Besides the aukwardness attending such an interview +in these circumstances, concealment was necessary to my safety. +A thousand times had I vowed never again to employ the dangerous +talent which I possessed; but such was the force of habit and +the influence of present convenience, that I used this method of +arresting his progress and leading him back to the house, with +his errand, whatever it was, unperformed. I had often caught +parts, from my station below, of your conversation in this +place, and was well acquainted with the voice of your sister. + +"Some weeks after this I was again quietly seated in this +recess. The lateness of the hour secured me, as I thought, from +all interruption. In this, however, I was mistaken, for Wieland +and Pleyel, as I judged by their voices, earnest in dispute, +ascended the hill. + +"I was not sensible that any inconvenience could possibly +have flowed from my former exertion; yet it was followed with +compunction, because it was a deviation from a path which I had +assigned to myself. Now my aversion to this means of escape was +enforced by an unauthorized curiosity, and by the knowledge of +a bushy hollow on the edge of the hill, where I should be safe +from discovery. Into this hollow I thrust myself. + +"The propriety of removal to Europe was the question eagerly +discussed. Pleyel intimated that his anxiety to go was +augmented by the silence of Theresa de Stolberg. The temptation +to interfere in this dispute was irresistible. In vain I +contended with inveterate habits. I disguised to myself the +impropriety of my conduct, by recollecting the benefits which it +might produce. Pleyel's proposal was unwise, yet it was +enforced with plausible arguments and indefatigable zeal. Your +brother might be puzzled and wearied, but could not be +convinced. I conceived that to terminate the controversy in +favor of the latter was conferring a benefit on all parties. +For this end I profited by an opening in the conversation, and +assured them of Catharine's irreconcilable aversion to the +scheme, and of the death of the Saxon baroness. The latter +event was merely a conjecture, but rendered extremely probable +by Pleyel's representations. My purpose, you need not be told, +was effected. + +"My passion for mystery, and a species of imposture, which I +deemed harmless, was thus awakened afresh. This second lapse +into error made my recovery more difficult. I cannot convey to +you an adequate idea of the kind of gratification which I +derived from these exploits; yet I meditated nothing. My views +were bounded to the passing moment, and commonly suggested by +the momentary exigence. + +"I must not conceal any thing. Your principles teach you to +abhor a voluptuous temper; but, with whatever reluctance, I +acknowledge this temper to be mine. You imagine your servant +Judith to be innocent as well as beautiful; but you took her +from a family where hypocrisy, as well as licentiousness, was +wrought into a system. My attention was captivated by her +charms, and her principles were easily seen to be flexible. + +"Deem me not capable of the iniquity of seduction. Your +servant is not destitute of feminine and virtuous qualities; but +she was taught that the best use of her charms consists in the +sale of them. My nocturnal visits to Mettingen were now +prompted by a double view, and my correspondence with your +servant gave me, at all times, access to your house. + +"The second night after our interview, so brief and so little +foreseen by either of us, some daemon of mischief seized me. +According to my companion's report, your perfections were little +less than divine. Her uncouth but copious narratives converted +you into an object of worship. She chiefly dwelt upon your +courage, because she herself was deficient in that quality. You +held apparitions and goblins in contempt. You took no +precautions against robbers. You were just as tranquil and +secure in this lonely dwelling, as if you were in the midst of +a crowd. +"Hence a vague project occurred to me, to put this courage to +the test. A woman capable of recollection in danger, of warding +off groundless panics, of discerning the true mode of +proceeding, and profiting by her best resources, is a prodigy. +I was desirous of ascertaining whether you were such an one. + +"My expedient was obvious and simple: I was to counterfeit +a murderous dialogue; but this was to be so conducted that +another, and not yourself, should appear to be the object. I +was not aware of the possibility that you should appropriate +these menaces to yourself. Had you been still and listened, you +would have heard the struggles and prayers of the victim, who +would likewise have appeared to be shut up in the closet, and +whose voice would have been Judith's. This scene would have +been an appeal to your compassion; and the proof of cowardice or +courage which I expected from you, would have been your +remaining inactive in your bed, or your entering the closet with +a view to assist the sufferer. Some instances which Judith +related of your fearlessness and promptitude made me adopt the +latter supposition with some degree of confidence. + +"By the girl's direction I found a ladder, and mounted to +your closet window. This is scarcely large enough to admit the +head, but it answered my purpose too well. + +"I cannot express my confusion and surprize at your abrupt +and precipitate flight. I hastily removed the ladder; and, +after some pause, curiosity and doubts of your safety induced me +to follow you. I found you stretched on the turf before your +brother's door, without sense or motion. I felt the deepest +regret at this unlooked-for consequence of my scheme. I knew +not what to do to procure you relief. The idea of awakening the +family naturally presented itself. This emergency was critical, +and there was no time to deliberate. It was a sudden thought +that occurred. I put my lips to the key-hole, and sounded an +alarm which effectually roused the sleepers. My organs were +naturally forcible, and had been improved by long and assiduous +exercise. + +"Long and bitterly did I repent of my scheme. I was somewhat +consoled by reflecting that my purpose had not been evil, and +renewed my fruitless vows never to attempt such dangerous +experiments. For some time I adhered, with laudable +forbearance, to this resolution. + +"My life has been a life of hardship and exposure. In the +summer I prefer to make my bed of the smooth turf, or, at most, +the shelter of a summer-house suffices. In all my rambles I +never found a spot in which so many picturesque beauties and +rural delights were assembled as at Mettingen. No corner of +your little domain unites fragrance and secrecy in so perfect a +degree as the recess in the bank. The odour of its leaves, the +coolness of its shade, and the music of its water-fall, had +early attracted my attention. Here my sadness was converted +into peaceful melancholy--here my slumbers were sound, and my +pleasures enhanced. + +"As most free from interruption, I chose this as the scene of +my midnight interviews with Judith. One evening, as the sun +declined, I was seated here, when I was alarmed by your +approach. It was with difficulty that I effected my escape +unnoticed by you. + +"At the customary hour, I returned to your habitation, and +was made acquainted by Judith, with your unusual absence. I +half suspected the true cause, and felt uneasiness at the danger +there was that I should be deprived of my retreat; or, at least, +interrupted in the possession of it. The girl, likewise, +informed me, that among your other singularities, it was not +uncommon for you to leave your bed, and walk forth for the sake +of night-airs and starlight contemplations. + +"I desired to prevent this inconvenience. I found you easily +swayed by fear. I was influenced, in my choice of means, by the +facility and certainty of that to which I had been accustomed. +All that I forsaw was, that, in future, this spot would be +cautiously shunned by you. + +"I entered the recess with the utmost caution, and +discovered, by your breathings, in what condition you were. The +unexpected interpretation which you placed upon my former +proceeding, suggested my conduct on the present occasion. The +mode in which heaven is said by the poet, to interfere for the +prevention of crimes,** was somewhat analogous to my province, +and never failed to occur to me at seasons like this. It was +requisite to break your slumbers, and for this end I uttered the +powerful monosyllable, "hold! hold!" My purpose was not +prescribed by duty, yet surely it was far from being atrocious +and inexpiable. To effect it, I uttered what was false, but it +was well suited to my purpose. Nothing less was intended than +to injure you. Nay, the evil resulting from my former act, was +partly removed by assuring you that in all places but this you +were safe. + + +*BILOQUIUM, or ventrilocution. Sound is varied according +to the variations of direction and distance. The art of the +ventriloquist consists in modifying his voice according to all +these variations, without changing his place. See the work of +the Abbe de la Chappelle, in which are accurately recorded the +performances of one of these artists, and some ingenious, though +unsatisfactory speculations are given on the means by which the +effects are produced. This power is, perhaps, given by nature, +but is doubtless improvable, if not acquirable, by art. It may, +possibly, consist in an unusual flexibility or exertion of the +bottom of the tongue and the uvula. That speech is producible +by these alone must be granted, since anatomists mention two +instances of persons speaking without a tongue. In one case, +the organ was originally wanting, but its place was supplied by +a small tubercle, and the uvula was perfect. In the other, the +tongue was destroyed by disease, but probably a small part of it +remained. + +This power is difficult to explain, but the fact is +undeniable. Experience shews that the human voice can imitate +the voice of all men and of all inferior animals. The sound of +musical instruments, and even noises from the contact of +inanimate substances, have been accurately imitated. The +mimicry of animals is notorious; and Dr. Burney (Musical +Travels) mentions one who imitated a flute and violin, so as to +deceive even his ears. + + +**--Peeps through the blanket of the dark, and cries Hold! +Hold!--SHAKESPEARE. + + + +Chapter XXIII + + +"My morals will appear to you far from rigid, yet my conduct +will fall short of your suspicions. I am now to confess actions +less excusable, and yet surely they will not entitle me to the +name of a desperate or sordid criminal. + +"Your house was rendered, by your frequent and long absences, +easily accessible to my curiosity. My meeting with Pleyel was +the prelude to direct intercourse with you. I had seen much of +the world, but your character exhibited a specimen of human +powers that was wholly new to me. My intercourse with your +servant furnished me with curious details of your domestic +management. I was of a different sex: I was not your husband; +I was not even your friend; yet my knowledge of you was of that +kind, which conjugal intimacies can give, and, in some respects, +more accurate. The observation of your domestic was guided by +me. + +"You will not be surprized that I should sometimes profit by +your absence, and adventure to examine with my own eyes, the +interior of your chamber. Upright and sincere, you used no +watchfulness, and practised no precautions. I scrutinized every +thing, and pried every where. Your closet was usually locked, +but it was once my fortune to find the key on a bureau. I +opened and found new scope for my curiosity in your books. One +of these was manuscript, and written in characters which +essentially agreed with a short-hand system which I had learned +from a Jesuit missionary. + +"I cannot justify my conduct, yet my only crime was +curiosity. I perused this volume with eagerness. The intellect +which it unveiled, was brighter than my limited and feeble +organs could bear. I was naturally inquisitive as to your ideas +respecting my deportment, and the mysteries that had lately +occurred. + +"You know what you have written. You know that in this +volume the key to your inmost soul was contained. If I had been +a profound and malignant impostor, what plenteous materials were +thus furnished me of stratagems and plots! + +"The coincidence of your dream in the summer-house with my +exclamation, was truly wonderful. The voice which warned you to +forbear was, doubtless, mine; but mixed by a common process of +the fancy, with the train of visionary incidents. + +"I saw in a stronger light than ever, the dangerousness of +that instrument which I employed, and renewed my resolutions to +abstain from the use of it in future; but I was destined +perpetually to violate my resolutions. By some perverse fate, +I was led into circumstances in which the exertion of my powers +was the sole or the best means of escape. + +"On that memorable night on which our last interview took +place, I came as usual to Mettingen. I was apprized of your +engagement at your brother's, from which you did not expect to +return till late. Some incident suggested the design of +visiting your chamber. Among your books which I had not +examined, might be something tending to illustrate your +character, or the history of your family. Some intimation had +been dropped by you in discourse, respecting a performance of +your father, in which some important transaction in his life was +recorded. + +"I was desirous of seeing this book; and such was my habitual +attachment to mystery, that I preferred the clandestine perusal +of it. Such were the motives that induced me to make this +attempt. Judith had disappeared, and finding the house +unoccupied, I supplied myself with a light, and proceeded to +your chamber. + +"I found it easy, on experiment, to lock and unlock your +closet door without the aid of a key. I shut myself in this +recess, and was busily exploring your shelves, when I heard some +one enter the room below. I was at a loss who it could be, +whether you or your servant. Doubtful, however, as I was, I +conceived it prudent to extinguish the light. Scarcely was this +done, when some one entered the chamber. The footsteps were +easily distinguished to be yours. + +"My situation was now full of danger and perplexity. For +some time, I cherished the hope that you would leave the room so +long as to afford me an opportunity of escaping. As the hours +passed, this hope gradually deserted me. It was plain that you +had retired for the night. + +"I knew not how soon you might find occasion to enter the +closet. I was alive to all the horrors of detection, and +ruminated without ceasing, on the behaviour which it would be +proper, in case of detection, to adopt. I was unable to +discover any consistent method of accounting for my being thus +immured. + +"It occurred to me that I might withdraw you from your +chamber for a few minutes, by counterfeiting a voice from +without. Some message from your brother might be delivered, +requiring your presence at his house. I was deterred from this +scheme by reflecting on the resolution I had formed, and on the +possible evils that might result from it. Besides, it was not +improbable that you would speedily retire to bed, and then, by +the exercise of sufficient caution, I might hope to escape +unobserved. + +"Meanwhile I listened with the deepest anxiety to every +motion from without. I discovered nothing which betokened +preparation for sleep. Instead of this I heard deep-drawn +sighs, and occasionally an half-expressed and mournful +ejaculation. Hence I inferred that you were unhappy. The true +state of your mind with regard to Pleyel your own pen had +disclosed; but I supposed you to be framed of such materials, +that, though a momentary sadness might affect you, you were +impregnable to any permanent and heartfelt grief. Inquietude +for my own safety was, for a moment, suspended by sympathy with +your distress. + +"To the former consideration I was quickly recalled by a +motion of yours which indicated I knew not what. I fostered the +persuasion that you would now retire to bed; but presently you +approached the closet, and detection seemed to be inevitable. +You put your hand upon the lock. I had formed no plan to +extricate myself from the dilemma in which the opening of the +door would involve me. I felt an irreconcilable aversion to +detection. Thus situated, I involuntarily seized the door with +a resolution to resist your efforts to open it. + +"Suddenly you receded from the door. This deportment was +inexplicable, but the relief it afforded me was quickly gone. +You returned, and I once more was thrown into perplexity. The +expedient that suggested itself was precipitate and inartificial. +I exerted my organs and called upon you TO HOLD. + +"That you should persist in spite of this admonition, was a +subject of astonishment. I again resisted your efforts; for the +first expedient having failed, I knew not what other to resort +to. In this state, how was my astonishment increased when I +heard your exclamations! + +"It was now plain that you knew me to be within. Further +resistance was unavailing and useless. The door opened, and I +shrunk backward. Seldom have I felt deeper mortification, and +more painful perplexity. I did not consider that the truth +would be less injurious than any lie which I could hastily +frame. Conscious as I was of a certain degree of guilt, I +conceived that you would form the most odious suspicions. The +truth would be imperfect, unless I were likewise to explain the +mysterious admonition which had been given; but that explanation +was of too great moment, and involved too extensive consequences +to make me suddenly resolve to give it. +"I was aware that this discovery would associate itself in +your mind, with the dialogue formerly heard in this closet. +Thence would your suspicions be aggravated, and to escape from +these suspicions would be impossible. But the mere truth would +be sufficiently opprobrious, and deprive me for ever of your +good opinion. + +"Thus was I rendered desperate, and my mind rapidly passed to +the contemplation of the use that might be made of previous +events. Some good genius would appear to you to have interposed +to save you from injury intended by me. Why, I said, since I +must sink in her opinion, should I not cherish this belief? Why +not personate an enemy, and pretend that celestial interference +has frustrated my schemes? I must fly, but let me leave wonder +and fear behind me. Elucidation of the mystery will always be +practicable. I shall do no injury, but merely talk of evil that +was designed, but is now past. + +"Thus I extenuated my conduct to myself, but I scarcely +expect that this will be to you a sufficient explication of the +scene that followed. Those habits which I have imbibed, the +rooted passion which possesses me for scattering around me +amazement and fear, you enjoy no opportunities of knowing. That +a man should wantonly impute to himself the most flagitious +designs, will hardly be credited, even though you reflect that +my reputation was already, by my own folly, irretrievably +ruined; and that it was always in my power to communicate the +truth, and rectify the mistake. + +"I left you to ponder on this scene. My mind was full of +rapid and incongruous ideas. Compunction, self-upbraiding, +hopelesness, satisfaction at the view of those effects likely to +flow from my new scheme, misgivings as to the beneficial result +of this scheme took possession of my mind, and seemed to +struggle for the mastery. + +"I had gone too far to recede. I had painted myself to you +as an assassin and ravisher, withheld from guilt only by a voice +from heaven. I had thus reverted into the path of error, and +now, having gone thus far, my progress seemed to be irrevocable. +I said to myself, I must leave these precincts for ever. My +acts have blasted my fame in the eyes of the Wielands. For the +sake of creating a mysterious dread, I have made myself a +villain. I may complete this mysterious plan by some new +imposture, but I cannot aggravate my supposed guilt. + +"My resolution was formed, and I was swiftly ruminating on +the means for executing it, when Pleyel appeared in sight. This +incident decided my conduct. It was plain that Pleyel was a +devoted lover, but he was, at the same time, a man of cold +resolves and exquisite sagacity. To deceive him would be the +sweetest triumph I had ever enjoyed. The deception would be +momentary, but it would likewise be complete. That his delusion +would so soon be rectified, was a recommendation to my scheme, +for I esteemed him too much to desire to entail upon him lasting +agonies. + +"I had no time to reflect further, for he proceeded, with a +quick step, towards the house. I was hurried onward +involuntarily and by a mechanical impulse. I followed him as he +passed the recess in the bank, and shrowding myself in that +spot, I counterfeited sounds which I knew would arrest his +steps. + +"He stopped, turned, listened, approached, and overheard a +dialogue whose purpose was to vanquish his belief in a point +where his belief was most difficult to vanquish. I exerted all +my powers to imitate your voice, your general sentiments, and +your language. Being master, by means of your journal, of your +personal history and most secret thoughts, my efforts were the +more successful. When I reviewed the tenor of this dialogue, I +cannot believe but that Pleyel was deluded. When I think of +your character, and of the inferences which this dialogue was +intended to suggest, it seems incredible that this delusion +should be produced. + +"I spared not myself. I called myself murderer, thief, +guilty of innumerable perjuries and misdeeds: that you had +debased yourself to the level of such an one, no evidence, +methought, would suffice to convince him who knew you so +thoroughly as Pleyel; and yet the imposture amounted to proof +which the most jealous scrutiny would find to be +unexceptionable. + +"He left his station precipitately and resumed his way to the +house. I saw that the detection of his error would be +instantaneous, since, not having gone to bed, an immediate +interview would take place between you. At first this +circumstance was considered with regret; but as time opened my +eyes to the possible consequences of this scene, I regarded it +with pleasure. + +"In a short time the infatuation which had led me thus far +began to subside. The remembrance of former reasonings and +transactions was renewed. How often I had repented this kind of +exertion; how many evils were produced by it which I had not +foreseen; what occasions for the bitterest remorse it had +administered, now passed through my mind. The black catalogue +of stratagems was now increased. I had inspired you with the +most vehement terrors: I had filled your mind with faith in +shadows and confidence in dreams: I had depraved the +imagination of Pleyel: I had exhibited you to his understanding +as devoted to brutal gratifications and consummate in hypocrisy. +The evidence which accompanied this delusion would be +irresistible to one whose passion had perverted his judgment, +whose jealousy with regard to me had already been excited, and +who, therefore, would not fail to overrate the force of this +evidence. What fatal act of despair or of vengeance might not +this error produce? + +"With regard to myself, I had acted with a phrenzy that +surpassed belief. I had warred against my peace and my fame: +I had banished myself from the fellowship of vigorous and pure +minds: I was self-expelled from a scene which the munificence +of nature had adorned with unrivalled beauties, and from haunts +in which all the muses and humanities had taken refuge. + +"I was thus torn by conflicting fears and tumultuous regrets. +The night passed away in this state of confusion; and next +morning in the gazette left at my obscure lodging, I read a +description and an offer of reward for the apprehension of my +person. I was said to have escaped from an Irish prison, in +which I was confined as an offender convicted of enormous and +complicated crimes. + +"This was the work of an enemy, who, by falsehood and +stratagem, had procured my condemnation. I was, indeed, a +prisoner, but escaped, by the exertion of my powers, the fate to +which I was doomed, but which I did not deserve. I had hoped +that the malice of my foe was exhausted; but I now perceived +that my precautions had been wise, for that the intervention of +an ocean was insufficient for my security. + +"Let me not dwell on the sensations which this discovery +produced. I need not tell by what steps I was induced to seek +an interview with you, for the purpose of disclosing the truth, +and repairing, as far as possible, the effects of my misconduct. +It was unavoidable that this gazette would fall into your hands, +and that it would tend to confirm every erroneous impression. + +"Having gained this interview, I purposed to seek some +retreat in the wilderness, inaccessible to your inquiry and to +the malice of my foe, where I might henceforth employ myself in +composing a faithful narrative of my actions. I designed it as +my vindication from the aspersions that had rested on my +character, and as a lesson to mankind on the evils of credulity +on the one hand, and of imposture on the other. + +"I wrote you a billet, which was left at the house of your +friend, and which I knew would, by some means, speedily come to +your hands. I entertained a faint hope that my invitation would +be complied with. I knew not what use you would make of the +opportunity which this proposal afforded you of procuring the +seizure of my person; but this fate I was determined to avoid, +and I had no doubt but due circumspection, and the exercise of +the faculty which I possessed, would enable me to avoid it. + +"I lurked, through the day, in the neighbourhood of +Mettingen: I approached your habitation at the appointed hour: +I entered it in silence, by a trap-door which led into the +cellar. This had formerly been bolted on the inside, but Judith +had, at an early period in our intercourse, removed this +impediment. I ascended to the first floor, but met with no one, +nor any thing that indicated the presence of an human being. + +"I crept softly up stairs, and at length perceived your +chamber door to be opened, and a light to be within. It was of +moment to discover by whom this light was accompanied. I was +sensible of the inconveniencies to which my being discovered at +your chamber door by any one within would subject me; I +therefore called out in my own voice, but so modified that it +should appear to ascend from the court below, 'Who is in the +chamber? Is it Miss Wieland?" + +"No answer was returned to this summons. I listened, but no +motion could be heard. After a pause I repeated my call, but no +less ineffectually. + +"I now approached nearer the door, and adventured to look in. +A light stood on the table, but nothing human was discernible. +I entered cautiously, but all was solitude and stillness. + +"I knew not what to conclude. If the house were inhabited, +my call would have been noticed; yet some suspicion insinuated +itself that silence was studiously kept by persons who intended +to surprize me. My approach had been wary, and the silence that +ensued my call had likewise preceded it; a circumstance that +tended to dissipate my fears. + +"At length it occurred to me that Judith might possibly be in +her own room. I turned my steps thither; but she was not to be +found. I passed into other rooms, and was soon convinced that +the house was totally deserted. I returned to your chamber, +agitated by vain surmises and opposite conjectures. The +appointed hour had passed, and I dismissed the hope of an +interview. + +"In this state of things I determined to leave a few lines on +your toilet, and prosecute my journey to the mountains. +Scarcely had I taken the pen when I laid it aside, uncertain in +what manner to address you. I rose from the table and walked +across the floor. A glance thrown upon the bed acquainted me +with a spectacle to which my conceptions of horror had not yet +reached. + +"In the midst of shuddering and trepidation, the signal of +your presence in the court below recalled me to myself. The +deed was newly done: I only was in the house: what had lately +happened justified any suspicions, however enormous. It was +plain that this catastrophe was unknown to you: I thought upon +the wild commotion which the discovery would awaken in your +breast: I found the confusion of my own thoughts unconquerable, +and perceived that the end for which I sought an interview was +not now to be accomplished. + +"In this state of things it was likewise expedient to conceal +my being within. I put out the light and hurried down stairs. +To my unspeakable surprize, notwithstanding every motive to +fear, you lighted a candle and proceeded to your chamber. + +"I retired to that room below from which a door leads into +the cellar. This door concealed me from your view as you +passed. I thought upon the spectacle which was about to present +itself. In an exigence so abrupt and so little foreseen, I was +again subjected to the empire of mechanical and habitual +impulses. I dreaded the effects which this shocking exhibition, +bursting on your unprepared senses, might produce. + +"Thus actuated, I stept swiftly to the door, and thrusting my +head forward, once more pronounced the mysterious interdiction. +At that moment, by some untoward fate, your eyes were cast back, +and you saw me in the very act of utterance. I fled through the +darksome avenue at which I entered, covered with the shame of +this detection. + +"With diligence, stimulated by a thousand ineffable emotions, +I pursued my intended journey. I have a brother whose farm is +situated in the bosom of a fertile desert, near the sources of +the Leheigh, and thither I now repaired. + + + +Chapter XXIV + + +"Deeply did I ruminate on the occurrences that had just +passed. Nothing excited my wonder so much as the means by which +you discovered my being in the closet. This discovery appeared +to be made at the moment when you attempted to open it. How +could you have otherwise remained so long in the chamber +apparently fearless and tranquil? And yet, having made this +discovery, how could you persist in dragging me forth: persist +in defiance of an interdiction so emphatical and solemn? + +"But your sister's death was an event detestable and ominous. +She had been the victim of the most dreadful species of +assassination. How, in a state like yours, the murderous +intention could be generated, was wholly inconceivable. + +"I did not relinquish my design of confessing to you the part +which I had sustained in your family, but I was willing to defer +it till the task which I had set myself was finished. That +being done, I resumed the resolution. The motives to incite me +to this continually acquired force. The more I revolved the +events happening at Mettingen, the more insupportable and +ominous my terrors became. My waking hours and my sleep were +vexed by dismal presages and frightful intimations. + +"Catharine was dead by violence. Surely my malignant stars +had not made me the cause of her death; yet had I not rashly set +in motion a machine, over whose progress I had no controul, and +which experience had shewn me was infinite in power? Every day +might add to the catalogue of horrors of which this was the +source, and a seasonable disclosure of the truth might prevent +numberless ills. + +"Fraught with this conception, I have turned my steps hither. +I find your brother's house desolate: the furniture removed, +and the walls stained with damps. Your own is in the same +situation. Your chamber is dismantled and dark, and you exhibit +an image of incurable grief, and of rapid decay. + +"I have uttered the truth. This is the extent of my +offences. You tell me an horrid tale of Wieland being led to +the destruction of his wife and children, by some mysterious +agent. You charge me with the guilt of this agency; but I +repeat that the amount of my guilt has been truly stated. The +perpetrator of Catharine's death was unknown to me till now; +nay, it is still unknown to me." + +At that moment, the closing of a door in the kitchen was +distinctly heard by us. Carwin started and paused. "There is +some one coming. I must not be found here by my enemies, and +need not, since my purpose is answered." + +I had drunk in, with the most vehement attention, every word +that he had uttered. I had no breath to interrupt his tale by +interrogations or comments. The power that he spoke of was +hitherto unknown to me: its existence was incredible; it was +susceptible of no direct proof. + +He owns that his were the voice and face which I heard and +saw. He attempts to give an human explanation of these +phantasms; but it is enough that he owns himself to be the +agent; his tale is a lie, and his nature devilish. As he +deceived me, he likewise deceived my brother, and now do I +behold the author of all our calamities! + +Such were my thoughts when his pause allowed me to think. I +should have bad him begone if the silence had not been +interrupted; but now I feared no more for myself; and the +milkiness of my nature was curdled into hatred and rancour. +Some one was near, and this enemy of God and man might possibly +be brought to justice. I reflected not that the preternatural +power which he had hitherto exerted, would avail to rescue him +from any toils in which his feet might be entangled. Meanwhile, +looks, and not words of menace and abhorrence, were all that I +could bestow. + +He did not depart. He seemed dubious, whether, by passing +out of the house, or by remaining somewhat longer where he was, +he should most endanger his safety. His confusion increased +when steps of one barefoot were heard upon the stairs. He threw +anxious glances sometimes at the closet, sometimes at the +window, and sometimes at the chamber door, yet he was detained +by some inexplicable fascination. He stood as if rooted to the +spot. + +As to me, my soul was bursting with detestation and revenge. +I had no room for surmises and fears respecting him that +approached. It was doubtless a human being, and would befriend +me so far as to aid me in arresting this offender. + +The stranger quickly entered the room. My eyes and the eyes +of Carwin were, at the same moment, darted upon him. A second +glance was not needed to inform us who he was. His locks were +tangled, and fell confusedly over his forehead and ears. His +shirt was of coarse stuff, and open at the neck and breast. His +coat was once of bright and fine texture, but now torn and +tarnished with dust. His feet, his legs, and his arms were +bare. His features were the seat of a wild and tranquil +solemnity, but his eyes bespoke inquietude and curiosity. + +He advanced with firm step, and looking as in search of some +one. He saw me and stopped. He bent his sight on the floor, +and clenching his hands, appeared suddenly absorbed in +meditation. Such were the figure and deportment of Wieland! +Such, in his fallen state, were the aspect and guise of my +brother! + +Carwin did not fail to recognize the visitant. Care for his +own safety was apparently swallowed up in the amazement which +this spectacle produced. His station was conspicuous, and he +could not have escaped the roving glances of Wieland; yet the +latter seemed totally unconscious of his presence. + +Grief at this scene of ruin and blast was at first the only +sentiment of which I was conscious. A fearful stillness ensued. +At length Wieland, lifting his hands, which were locked in each +other, to his breast, exclaimed, "Father! I thank thee. This is +thy guidance. Hither thou hast led me, that I might perform thy +will: yet let me not err: let me hear again thy messenger!" + +He stood for a minute as if listening; but recovering from +his attitude, he continued--"It is not needed. Dastardly +wretch! thus eternally questioning the behests of thy Maker! +weak in resolution! wayward in faith!" + +He advanced to me, and, after another pause, resumed: "Poor +girl! a dismal fate has set its mark upon thee. Thy life is +demanded as a sacrifice. Prepare thee to die. Make not my +office difficult by fruitless opposition. Thy prayers might +subdue stones; but none but he who enjoined my purpose can shake +it." + +These words were a sufficient explication of the scene. The +nature of his phrenzy, as described by my uncle, was remembered. +I who had sought death, was now thrilled with horror because it +was near. Death in this form, death from the hand of a brother, +was thought upon with undescribable repugnance. + +In a state thus verging upon madness, my eye glanced upon +Carwin. His astonishment appeared to have struck him motionless +and dumb. My life was in danger, and my brother's hand was +about to be embrued in my blood. I firmly believed that +Carwin's was the instigation. I could rescue me from this +abhorred fate; I could dissipate this tremendous illusion; I +could save my brother from the perpetration of new horrors, by +pointing out the devil who seduced him; to hesitate a moment was +to perish. These thoughts gave strength to my limbs, and energy +to my accents: I started on my feet. +"O brother! spare me, spare thyself: There is thy betrayer. +He counterfeited the voice and face of an angel, for the purpose +of destroying thee and me. He has this moment confessed it. He +is able to speak where he is not. He is leagued with hell, but +will not avow it; yet he confesses that the agency was his." + +My brother turned slowly his eyes, and fixed them upon +Carwin. Every joint in the frame of the latter trembled. His +complexion was paler than a ghost's. His eye dared not meet +that of Wieland, but wandered with an air of distraction from +one space to another. + +"Man," said my brother, in a voice totally unlike that which +he had used to me, "what art thou? The charge has been made. +Answer it. The visage--the voice--at the bottom of these +stairs--at the hour of eleven--To whom did they belong? To +thee?" + +Twice did Carwin attempt to speak, but his words died away +upon his lips. My brother resumed in a tone of greater +vehemence-- + +"Thou falterest; faltering is ominous; say yes or no: one +word will suffice; but beware of falsehood. Was it a stratagem +of hell to overthrow my family? Wast thou the agent?" + +I now saw that the wrath which had been prepared for me was +to be heaped upon another. The tale that I heard from him, and +his present trepidations, were abundant testimonies of his +guilt. But what if Wieland should be undeceived! What if he +shall find his acts to have proceeded not from an heavenly +prompter, but from human treachery! Will not his rage mount +into whirlwind? Will not he tare limb from limb this devoted +wretch? + +Instinctively I recoiled from this image, but it gave place +to another. Carwin may be innocent, but the impetuosity of his +judge may misconstrue his answers into a confession of guilt. +Wieland knows not that mysterious voices and appearances were +likewise witnessed by me. Carwin may be ignorant of those which +misled my brother. Thus may his answers unwarily betray himself +to ruin. + +Such might be the consequences of my frantic precipitation, +and these, it was necessary, if possible, to prevent. I +attempted to speak, but Wieland, turning suddenly upon me, +commanded silence, in a tone furious and terrible. My lips +closed, and my tongue refused its office. + +"What art thou?" he resumed, addressing himself to Carwin. +"Answer me; whose form--whose voice--was it thy contrivance? +Answer me." + +The answer was now given, but confusedly and scarcely +articulated. "I meant nothing--I intended no ill--if I +understand--if I do not mistake you--it is too true--I did +appear--in the entry--did speak. The contrivance was mine, +but--" + +These words were no sooner uttered, than my brother ceased to +wear the same aspect. His eyes were downcast: he was +motionless: his respiration became hoarse, like that of a man +in the agonies of death. Carwin seemed unable to say more. He +might have easily escaped, but the thought which occupied him +related to what was horrid and unintelligible in this scene, and +not to his own danger. + +Presently the faculties of Wieland, which, for a time, were +chained up, were seized with restlessness and trembling. He +broke silence. The stoutest heart would have been appalled by +the tone in which he spoke. He addressed himself to Carwin. + +"Why art thou here? Who detains thee? Go and learn better. +I will meet thee, but it must be at the bar of thy Maker. There +shall I bear witness against thee." + +Perceiving that Carwin did not obey, he continued; "Dost thou +wish me to complete the catalogue by thy death? Thy life is a +worthless thing. Tempt me no more. I am but a man, and thy +presence may awaken a fury which may spurn my controul. +Begone!" + +Carwin, irresolute, striving in vain for utterance, his +complexion pallid as death, his knees beating one against +another, slowly obeyed the mandate and withdrew. + + + +Chapter XXV + + +A few words more and I lay aside the pen for ever. Yet why +should I not relinquish it now? All that I have said is +preparatory to this scene, and my fingers, tremulous and cold as +my heart, refuse any further exertion. This must not be. Let +my last energies support me in the finishing of this task. Then +will I lay down my head in the lap of death. Hushed will be all +my murmurs in the sleep of the grave. + +Every sentiment has perished in my bosom. Even friendship is +extinct. Your love for me has prompted me to this task; but I +would not have complied if it had not been a luxury thus to +feast upon my woes. I have justly calculated upon my remnant of +strength. When I lay down the pen the taper of life will +expire: my existence will terminate with my tale. + +Now that I was left alone with Wieland, the perils of my +situation presented themselves to my mind. That this paroxysm +should terminate in havock and rage it was reasonable to +predict. The first suggestion of my fears had been disproved by +my experience. Carwin had acknowledged his offences, and yet +had escaped. The vengeance which I had harboured had not been +admitted by Wieland, and yet the evils which I had endured, +compared with those inflicted on my brother, were as nothing. +I thirsted for his blood, and was tormented with an insatiable +appetite for his destruction; yet my brother was unmoved, and +had dismissed him in safety. Surely thou wast more than man, +while I am sunk below the beasts. + +Did I place a right construction on the conduct of Wieland? +Was the error that misled him so easily rectified? Were views +so vivid and faith so strenuous thus liable to fading and to +change? Was there not reason to doubt the accuracy of my +perceptions? With images like these was my mind thronged, till +the deportment of my brother called away my attention. + +I saw his lips move and his eyes cast up to heaven. Then +would he listen and look back, as if in expectation of some +one's appearance. Thrice he repeated these gesticulations and +this inaudible prayer. Each time the mist of confusion and +doubt seemed to grow darker and to settle on his understanding. +I guessed at the meaning of these tokens. The words of Carwin +had shaken his belief, and he was employed in summoning the +messenger who had formerly communed with him, to attest the +value of those new doubts. In vain the summons was repeated, +for his eye met nothing but vacancy, and not a sound saluted his +ear. + +He walked to the bed, gazed with eagerness at the pillow +which had sustained the head of the breathless Catharine, and +then returned to the place where I sat. I had no power to lift +my eyes to his face: I was dubious of his purpose: this +purpose might aim at my life. + +Alas! nothing but subjection to danger, and exposure to +temptation, can show us what we are. By this test was I now +tried, and found to be cowardly and rash. Men can deliberately +untie the thread of life, and of this I had deemed myself +capable; yet now that I stood upon the brink of fate, that the +knife of the sacrificer was aimed at my heart, I shuddered and +betook myself to any means of escape, however monstrous. + +Can I bear to think--can I endure to relate the outrage which +my heart meditated? Where were my means of safety? Resistance +was vain. Not even the energy of despair could set me on a +level with that strength which his terrific prompter had +bestowed upon Wieland. Terror enables us to perform incredible +feats; but terror was not then the state of my mind: where then +were my hopes of rescue? + +Methinks it is too much. I stand aside, as it were, from +myself; I estimate my own deservings; a hatred, immortal and +inexorable, is my due. I listen to my own pleas, and find them +empty and false: yes, I acknowledge that my guilt surpasses +that of all mankind: I confess that the curses of a world, and +the frowns of a deity, are inadequate to my demerits. Is there +a thing in the world worthy of infinite abhorrence? It is I. +What shall I say! I was menaced, as I thought, with death, +and, to elude this evil, my hand was ready to inflict death upon +the menacer. In visiting my house, I had made provision against +the machinations of Carwin. In a fold of my dress an open +penknife was concealed. This I now seized and drew forth. It +lurked out of view: but I now see that my state of mind would +have rendered the deed inevitable if my brother had lifted his +hand. This instrument of my preservation would have been +plunged into his heart. + +O, insupportable remembrance! hide thee from my view for a +time; hide it from me that my heart was black enough to meditate +the stabbing of a brother! a brother thus supreme in misery; +thus towering in virtue! + +He was probably unconscious of my design, but presently drew +back. This interval was sufficient to restore me to myself. +The madness, the iniquity of that act which I had purposed +rushed upon my apprehension. For a moment I was breathless with +agony. At the next moment I recovered my strength, and threw +the knife with violence on the floor. + +The sound awoke my brother from his reverie. He gazed +alternately at me and at the weapon. With a movement equally +solemn he stooped and took it up. He placed the blade in +different positions, scrutinizing it accurately, and +maintaining, at the same time, a profound silence. + +Again he looked at me, but all that vehemence and loftiness +of spirit which had so lately characterized his features, were +flown. Fallen muscles, a forehead contracted into folds, eyes +dim with unbidden drops, and a ruefulness of aspect which no +words can describe, were now visible. + +His looks touched into energy the same sympathies in me, and +I poured forth a flood of tears. This passion was quickly +checked by fear, which had now, no longer, my own, but his +safety for their object. I watched his deportment in silence. +At length he spoke: + +"Sister," said he, in an accent mournful and mild, "I have +acted poorly my part in this world. What thinkest thou? Shall +I not do better in the next?" + +I could make no answer. The mildness of his tone astonished +and encouraged me. I continued to regard him with wistful and +anxious looks. + +"I think," resumed he, "I will try. My wife and my babes +have gone before. Happy wretches! I have sent you to repose, +and ought not to linger behind." + +These words had a meaning sufficiently intelligible. I +looked at the open knife in his hand and shuddered, but knew not +how to prevent the deed which I dreaded. He quickly noticed my +fears, and comprehended them. Stretching towards me his hand, +with an air of increasing mildness: "Take it," said he: "Fear +not for thy own sake, nor for mine. The cup is gone by, and its +transient inebriation is succeeded by the soberness of truth. + +"Thou angel whom I was wont to worship! fearest thou, my +sister, for thy life? Once it was the scope of my labours to +destroy thee, but I was prompted to the deed by heaven; such, at +least, was my belief. Thinkest thou that thy death was sought +to gratify malevolence? No. I am pure from all stain. I +believed that my God was my mover! + +"Neither thee nor myself have I cause to injure. I have done +my duty, and surely there is merit in having sacrificed to that, +all that is dear to the heart of man. If a devil has deceived +me, he came in the habit of an angel. If I erred, it was not my +judgment that deceived me, but my senses. In thy sight, being +of beings! I am still pure. Still will I look for my reward in +thy justice!" + +Did my ears truly report these sounds? If I did not err, my +brother was restored to just perceptions. He knew himself to +have been betrayed to the murder of his wife and children, to +have been the victim of infernal artifice; yet he found +consolation in the rectitude of his motives. He was not devoid +of sorrow, for this was written on his countenance; but his soul +was tranquil and sublime. + +Perhaps this was merely a transition of his former madness +into a new shape. Perhaps he had not yet awakened to the memory +of the horrors which he had perpetrated. Infatuated wretch that +I was! To set myself up as a model by which to judge of my +heroic brother! My reason taught me that his conclusions were +right; but conscious of the impotence of reason over my own +conduct; conscious of my cowardly rashness and my criminal +despair, I doubted whether any one could be stedfast and wise. + +Such was my weakness, that even in the midst of these +thoughts, my mind glided into abhorrence of Carwin, and I +uttered in a low voice, O! Carwin! Carwin! What hast thou to +answer for? + +My brother immediately noticed the involuntary exclamation: +"Clara!" said he, "be thyself. Equity used to be a theme for +thy eloquence. Reduce its lessons to practice, and be just to +that unfortunate man. The instrument has done its work, and I +am satisfied. + +"I thank thee, my God, for this last illumination! My enemy +is thine also. I deemed him to be man, the man with whom I have +often communed; but now thy goodness has unveiled to me his true +nature. As the performer of thy behests, he is my friend." + +My heart began now to misgive me. His mournful aspect had +gradually yielded place to a serene brow. A new soul appeared +to actuate his frame, and his eyes to beam with preternatural +lustre. These symptoms did not abate, and he continued: + +"Clara! I must not leave thee in doubt. I know not what +brought about thy interview with the being whom thou callest +Carwin. For a time, I was guilty of thy error, and deduced from +his incoherent confessions that I had been made the victim of +human malice. He left us at my bidding, and I put up a prayer +that my doubts should be removed. Thy eyes were shut, and thy +ears sealed to the vision that answered my prayer. + +"I was indeed deceived. The form thou hast seen was the +incarnation of a daemon. The visage and voice which urged me to +the sacrifice of my family, were his. Now he personates a human +form: then he was invironed with the lustre of heaven.-- + +"Clara," he continued, advancing closer to me, "thy death +must come. This minister is evil, but he from whom his +commission was received is God. Submit then with all thy wonted +resignation to a decree that cannot be reversed or resisted. +Mark the clock. Three minutes are allowed to thee, in which to +call up thy fortitude, and prepare thee for thy doom." There he +stopped. + +Even now, when this scene exists only in memory, when life +and all its functions have sunk into torpor, my pulse throbs, +and my hairs uprise: my brows are knit, as then; and I gaze +around me in distraction. I was unconquerably averse to death; +but death, imminent and full of agony as that which was +threatened, was nothing. This was not the only or chief +inspirer of my fears. + +For him, not for myself, was my soul tormented. I might die, +and no crime, surpassing the reach of mercy, would pursue me to +the presence of my Judge; but my assassin would survive to +contemplate his deed, and that assassin was Wieland! + +Wings to bear me beyond his reach I had not. I could not +vanish with a thought. The door was open, but my murderer was +interposed between that and me. Of self-defence I was +incapable. The phrenzy that lately prompted me to blood was +gone; my state was desperate; my rescue was impossible. + +The weight of these accumulated thoughts could not be borne. +My sight became confused; my limbs were seized with convulsion; +I spoke, but my words were half-formed:-- + +"Spare me, my brother! Look down, righteous Judge! snatch me +from this fate! take away this fury from him, or turn it +elsewhere!" + +Such was the agony of my thoughts, that I noticed not steps +entering my apartment. Supplicating eyes were cast upward, but +when my prayer was breathed, I once more wildly gazed at the +door. A form met my sight: I shuddered as if the God whom I +invoked were present. It was Carwin that again intruded, and +who stood before me, erect in attitude, and stedfast in look! +The sight of him awakened new and rapid thoughts. His recent +tale was remembered: his magical transitions and mysterious +energy of voice: Whether he were infernal or miraculous, or +human, there was no power and no need to decide. Whether the +contriver or not of this spell, he was able to unbind it, and to +check the fury of my brother. He had ascribed to himself +intentions not malignant. Here now was afforded a test of his +truth. Let him interpose, as from above; revoke the savage +decree which the madness of Wieland has assigned to heaven, and +extinguish for ever this passion for blood! + +My mind detected at a glance this avenue to safety. The +recommendations it possessed thronged as it were together, and +made but one impression on my intellect. Remoter effects and +collateral dangers I saw not. Perhaps the pause of an instant +had sufficed to call them up. The improbability that the +influence which governed Wieland was external or human; the +tendency of this stratagem to sanction so fatal an error, or +substitute a more destructive rage in place of this; the +sufficiency of Carwin's mere muscular forces to counteract the +efforts, and restrain the fury of Wieland, might, at a second +glance, have been discovered; but no second glance was allowed. +My first thought hurried me to action, and, fixing my eyes upon +Carwin I exclaimed-- + +"O wretch! once more hast thou come? Let it be to abjure thy +malice; to counterwork this hellish stratagem; to turn from me +and from my brother, this desolating rage! + +"Testify thy innocence or thy remorse: exert the powers +which pertain to thee, whatever they be, to turn aside this +ruin. Thou art the author of these horrors! What have I done +to deserve thus to die? How have I merited this unrelenting +persecution? I adjure thee, by that God whose voice thou hast +dared to counterfeit, to save my life! + +"Wilt thou then go? leave me! Succourless!" + +Carwin listened to my intreaties unmoved, and turned from me. +He seemed to hesitate a moment: then glided through the door. +Rage and despair stifled my utterance. The interval of respite +was passed; the pangs reserved for me by Wieland, were not to be +endured; my thoughts rushed again into anarchy. Having received +the knife from his hand, I held it loosely and without regard; +but now it seized again my attention, and I grasped it with +force. + +He seemed to notice not the entrance or exit of Carwin. My +gesture and the murderous weapon appeared to have escaped his +notice. His silence was unbroken; his eye, fixed upon the clock +for a time, was now withdrawn; fury kindled in every feature; +all that was human in his face gave way to an expression +supernatural and tremendous. I felt my left arm within his +grasp.-- + +Even now I hesitated to strike. I shrunk from his assault, +but in vain.-- + +Here let me desist. Why should I rescue this event from +oblivion? Why should I paint this detestable conflict? Why not +terminate at once this series of horrors?--Hurry to the verge of +the precipice, and cast myself for ever beyond remembrance and +beyond hope? + +Still I live: with this load upon my breast; with this +phantom to pursue my steps; with adders lodged in my bosom, and +stinging me to madness: still I consent to live! + +Yes, I will rise above the sphere of mortal passions: I will +spurn at the cowardly remorse that bids me seek impunity in +silence, or comfort in forgetfulness. My nerves shall be new +strung to the task. Have I not resolved? I will die. The +gulph before me is inevitable and near. I will die, but then +only when my tale is at an end. + + + +Chapter XXVI + + +My right hand, grasping the unseen knife, was still +disengaged. It was lifted to strike. All my strength was +exhausted, but what was sufficient to the performance of this +deed. Already was the energy awakened, and the impulse given, +that should bear the fatal steel to his heart, when--Wieland +shrunk back: his hand was withdrawn. Breathless with affright +and desperation, I stood, freed from his grasp; unassailed; +untouched. + +Thus long had the power which controuled the scene forborne +to interfere; but now his might was irresistible, and Wieland in +a moment was disarmed of all his purposes. A voice, louder than +human organs could produce, shriller than language can depict, +burst from the ceiling, and commanded him--TO HOLD! + +Trouble and dismay succeeded to the stedfastness that had +lately been displayed in the looks of Wieland. His eyes roved +from one quarter to another, with an expression of doubt. He +seemed to wait for a further intimation. + +Carwin's agency was here easily recognized. I had besought +him to interpose in my defence. He had flown. I had imagined +him deaf to my prayer, and resolute to see me perish: yet he +disappeared merely to devise and execute the means of my relief. + +Why did he not forbear when this end was accomplished? Why +did his misjudging zeal and accursed precipitation overpass that +limit? Or meant he thus to crown the scene, and conduct his +inscrutable plots to this consummation? + +Such ideas were the fruit of subsequent contemplation. This +moment was pregnant with fate. I had no power to reason. In +the career of my tempestuous thoughts, rent into pieces, as my +mind was, by accumulating horrors, Carwin was unseen and +unsuspected. I partook of Wieland's credulity, shook with his +amazement, and panted with his awe. + +Silence took place for a moment; so much as allowed the +attention to recover its post. Then new sounds were uttered +from above. + +"Man of errors! cease to cherish thy delusion: not heaven or +hell, but thy senses have misled thee to commit these acts. +Shake off thy phrenzy, and ascend into rational and human. Be +lunatic no longer." + +My brother opened his lips to speak. His tone was terrific +and faint. He muttered an appeal to heaven. It was difficult +to comprehend the theme of his inquiries. They implied doubt as +to the nature of the impulse that hitherto had guided him, and +questioned whether he had acted in consequence of insane +perceptions. + +To these interrogatories the voice, which now seemed to hover +at his shoulder, loudly answered in the affirmative. Then +uninterrupted silence ensued. + +Fallen from his lofty and heroic station; now finally +restored to the perception of truth; weighed to earth by the +recollection of his own deeds; consoled no longer by a +consciousness of rectitude, for the loss of offspring and +wife--a loss for which he was indebted to his own misguided +hand; Wieland was transformed at once into the man OF SORROWS! + +He reflected not that credit should be as reasonably denied +to the last, as to any former intimation; that one might as +justly be ascribed to erring or diseased senses as the other. +He saw not that this discovery in no degree affected the +integrity of his conduct; that his motives had lost none of +their claims to the homage of mankind; that the preference of +supreme good, and the boundless energy of duty, were +undiminished in his bosom. + +It is not for me to pursue him through the ghastly changes of +his countenance. Words he had none. Now he sat upon the floor, +motionless in all his limbs, with his eyes glazed and fixed; a +monument of woe. + +Anon a spirit of tempestuous but undesigning activity seized +him. He rose from his place and strode across the floor, +tottering and at random. His eyes were without moisture, and +gleamed with the fire that consumed his vitals. The muscles of +his face were agitated by convulsion. His lips moved, but no +sound escaped him. + +That nature should long sustain this conflict was not to be +believed. My state was little different from that of my +brother. I entered, as it were, into his thought. My heart was +visited and rent by his pangs--Oh that thy phrenzy had never +been cured! that thy madness, with its blissful visions, would +return! or, if that must not be, that thy scene would hasten to +a close! that death would cover thee with his oblivion! + +What can I wish for thee? Thou who hast vied with the great +preacher of thy faith in sanctity of motives, and in elevation +above sensual and selfish! Thou whom thy fate has changed into +paricide and savage! Can I wish for the continuance of thy +being? No. + +For a time his movements seemed destitute of purpose. If he +walked; if he turned; if his fingers were entwined with each +other; if his hands were pressed against opposite sides of his +head with a force sufficient to crush it into pieces; it was to +tear his mind from self-contemplation; to waste his thoughts on +external objects. + +Speedily this train was broken. A beam appeared to be darted +into his mind, which gave a purpose to his efforts. An avenue +to escape presented itself; and now he eagerly gazed about him: +when my thoughts became engaged by his demeanour, my fingers +were stretched as by a mechanical force, and the knife, no +longer heeded or of use, escaped from my grasp, and fell +unperceived on the floor. His eye now lighted upon it; he +seized it with the quickness of thought. + +I shrieked aloud, but it was too late. He plunged it to the +hilt in his neck; and his life instantly escaped with the stream +that gushed from the wound. He was stretched at my feet; and my +hands were sprinkled with his blood as he fell. + +Such was thy last deed, my brother! For a spectacle like +this was it my fate to be reserved! Thy eyes were closed--thy +face ghastly with death--thy arms, and the spot where thou +liedest, floated in thy life's blood! These images have not, +for a moment, forsaken me. Till I am breathless and cold, they +must continue to hover in my sight. + +Carwin, as I said, had left the room, but he still lingered +in the house. My voice summoned him to my aid; but I scarcely +noticed his re-entrance, and now faintly recollect his terrified +looks, his broken exclamations, his vehement avowals of +innocence, the effusions of his pity for me, and his offers of +assistance. + +I did not listen--I answered him not--I ceased to upbraid or +accuse. His guilt was a point to which I was indifferent. +Ruffian or devil, black as hell or bright as angels, thenceforth +he was nothing to me. I was incapable of sparing a look or a +thought from the ruin that was spread at my feet. + +When he left me, I was scarcely conscious of any variation in +the scene. He informed the inhabitants of the hut of what had +passed, and they flew to the spot. Careless of his own safety, +he hasted to the city to inform my friends of my condition. + +My uncle speedily arrived at the house. The body of Wieland +was removed from my presence, and they supposed that I would +follow it; but no, my home is ascertained; here I have taken up +my rest, and never will I go hence, till, like Wieland, I am +borne to my grave. + +Importunity was tried in vain: they threatened to remove me +by violence--nay, violence was used; but my soul prizes too +dearly this little roof to endure to be bereaved of it. Force +should not prevail when the hoary locks and supplicating tears +of my uncle were ineffectual. My repugnance to move gave birth +to ferociousness and phrenzy when force was employed, and they +were obliged to consent to my return. + +They besought me--they remonstrated--they appealed to every +duty that connected me with him that made me, and with my +fellow-men--in vain. While I live I will not go hence. Have I +not fulfilled my destiny? + +Why will ye torment me with your reasonings and reproofs? +Can ye restore to me the hope of my better days? Can ye give me +back Catharine and her babes? Can ye recall to life him who +died at my feet? + +I will eat--I will drink--I will lie down and rise up at your +bidding--all I ask is the choice of my abode. What is there +unreasonable in this demand? Shortly will I be at peace. This +is the spot which I have chosen in which to breathe my last +sigh. Deny me not, I beseech you, so slight a boon. + +Talk not to me, O my revered friend! of Carwin. He has told +thee his tale, and thou exculpatest him from all direct concern +in the fate of Wieland. This scene of havock was produced by an +illusion of the senses. Be it so: I care not from what source +these disasters have flowed; it suffices that they have +swallowed up our hopes and our existence. + +What his agency began, his agency conducted to a close. He +intended, by the final effort of his power, to rescue me and to +banish his illusions from my brother. Such is his tale, +concerning the truth of which I care not. Henceforth I foster +but one wish--I ask only quick deliverance from life and all the +ills that attend it.-- + +Go wretch! torment me not with thy presence and thy +prayers.--Forgive thee? Will that avail thee when thy fateful +hour shall arrive? Be thou acquitted at thy own tribunal, and +thou needest not fear the verdict of others. If thy guilt be +capable of blacker hues, if hitherto thy conscience be without +stain, thy crime will be made more flagrant by thus violating my +retreat. Take thyself away from my sight if thou wouldest not +behold my death! + +Thou are gone! murmuring and reluctant! And now my repose is +coming--my work is done! + + + +Chapter XXVII + + +[Written three years after the foregoing, and dated at Montpellier.] + + +I imagined that I had forever laid aside the pen; and that I +should take up my abode in this part of the world, was of all +events the least probable. My destiny I believed to be +accomplished, and I looked forward to a speedy termination of my +life with the fullest confidence. + +Surely I had reason to be weary of existence, to be impatient +of every tie which held me from the grave. I experienced this +impatience in its fullest extent. I was not only enamoured of +death, but conceived, from the condition of my frame, that to +shun it was impossible, even though I had ardently desired it; +yet here am I, a thousand leagues from my native soil, in full +possession of life and of health, and not destitute of +happiness. + +Such is man. Time will obliterate the deepest impressions. +Grief the most vehement and hopeless, will gradually decay and +wear itself out. Arguments may be employed in vain: every +moral prescription may be ineffectually tried: remonstrances, +however cogent or pathetic, shall have no power over the +attention, or shall be repelled with disdain; yet, as day +follows day, the turbulence of our emotions shall subside, and +our fluctuations be finally succeeded by a calm. + +Perhaps, however, the conquest of despair was chiefly owing +to an accident which rendered my continuance in my own house +impossible. At the conclusion of my long, and, as I then +supposed, my last letter to you, I mentioned my resolution to +wait for death in the very spot which had been the principal +scene of my misfortunes. From this resolution my friends +exerted themselves with the utmost zeal and perseverance to make +me depart. They justly imagined that to be thus surrounded by +memorials of the fate of my family, would tend to foster my +disease. A swift succession of new objects, and the exclusion +of every thing calculated to remind me of my loss, was the only +method of cure. + +I refused to listen to their exhortations. Great as my +calamity was, to be torn from this asylum was regarded by me as +an aggravation of it. By a perverse constitution of mind, he +was considered as my greatest enemy who sought to withdraw me +from a scene which supplied eternal food to my melancholy, and +kept my despair from languishing. + +In relating the history of these disasters I derived a +similar species of gratification. My uncle earnestly dissuaded +me from this task; but his remonstrances were as fruitless on +this head as they had been on others. They would have withheld +from me the implements of writing; but they quickly perceived +that to withstand would be more injurious than to comply with my +wishes. Having finished my tale, it seemed as if the scene were +closing. A fever lurked in my veins, and my strength was gone. +Any exertion, however slight, was attended with difficulty, and, +at length, I refused to rise from my bed. + +I now see the infatuation and injustice of my conduct in its +true colours. I reflect upon the sensations and reasonings of +that period with wonder and humiliation. That I should be +insensible to the claims and tears of my friends; that I should +overlook the suggestions of duty, and fly from that post in +which only I could be instrumental to the benefit of others; +that the exercise of the social and beneficent affections, the +contemplation of nature and the acquisition of wisdom should not +be seen to be means of happiness still within my reach, is, at +this time, scarcely credible. + +It is true that I am now changed; but I have not the +consolation to reflect that my change was owing to my fortitude +or to my capacity for instruction. Better thoughts grew up in +my mind imperceptibly. I cannot but congratulate myself on the +change, though, perhaps, it merely argues a fickleness of +temper, and a defect of sensibility. + +After my narrative was ended I betook myself to my bed, in +the full belief that my career in this world was on the point of +finishing. My uncle took up his abode with me, and performed +for me every office of nurse, physician and friend. One night, +after some hours of restlessness and pain, I sunk into deep +sleep. Its tranquillity, however, was of no long duration. My +fancy became suddenly distempered, and my brain was turned into +a theatre of uproar and confusion. It would not be easy to +describe the wild and phantastical incongruities that pestered +me. My uncle, Wieland, Pleyel and Carwin were successively and +momently discerned amidst the storm. Sometimes I was swallowed +up by whirlpools, or caught up in the air by half-seen and +gigantic forms, and thrown upon pointed rocks, or cast among the +billows. Sometimes gleams of light were shot into a dark abyss, +on the verge of which I was standing, and enabled me to +discover, for a moment, its enormous depth and hideous +precipices. Anon, I was transported to some ridge of AEtna, and +made a terrified spectator of its fiery torrents and its pillars +of smoke. + +However strange it may seem, I was conscious, even during my +dream, of my real situation. I knew myself to be asleep, and +struggled to break the spell, by muscular exertions. These did +not avail, and I continued to suffer these abortive creations +till a loud voice, at my bed side, and some one shaking me with +violence, put an end to my reverie. My eyes were unsealed, and +I started from my pillow. + +My chamber was filled with smoke, which, though in some +degree luminous, would permit me to see nothing, and by which I +was nearly suffocated. The crackling of flames, and the +deafening clamour of voices without, burst upon my ears. +Stunned as I was by this hubbub, scorched with heat, and nearly +choaked by the accumulating vapours, I was unable to think or +act for my own preservation; I was incapable, indeed, of +comprehending my danger. + +I was caught up, in an instant, by a pair of sinewy arms, +borne to the window, and carried down a ladder which had been +placed there. My uncle stood at the bottom and received me. I +was not fully aware of my situation till I found myself +sheltered in the HUT, and surrounded by its inhabitants. + +By neglect of the servant, some unextinguished embers had +been placed in a barrel in the cellar of the building. The +barrel had caught fire; this was communicated to the beams of +the lower floor, and thence to the upper part of the structure. +It was first discovered by some persons at a distance, who +hastened to the spot and alarmed my uncle and the servants. The +flames had already made considerable progress, and my condition +was overlooked till my escape was rendered nearly impossible. + +My danger being known, and a ladder quickly procured, one of +the spectators ascended to my chamber, and effected my +deliverance in the manner before related. + +This incident, disastrous as it may at first seem, had, in +reality, a beneficial effect upon my feelings. I was, in some +degree, roused from the stupor which had seized my faculties. +The monotonous and gloomy series of my thoughts was broken. My +habitation was levelled with the ground, and I was obliged to +seek a new one. A new train of images, disconnected with the +fate of my family, forced itself on my attention, and a belief +insensibly sprung up, that tranquillity, if not happiness, was +still within my reach. Notwithstanding the shocks which my +frame had endured, the anguish of my thoughts no sooner abated +than I recovered my health. + +I now willingly listened to my uncle's solicitations to be +the companion of his voyage. Preparations were easily made, and +after a tedious passage, we set our feet on the shore of the +ancient world. The memory of the past did not forsake me; but +the melancholy which it generated, and the tears with which it +filled my eyes, were not unprofitable. My curiosity was +revived, and I contemplated, with ardour, the spectacle of +living manners and the monuments of past ages. + +In proportion as my heart was reinstated in the possession of +its ancient tranquillity, the sentiment which I had cherished +with regard to Pleyel returned. In a short time he was united +to the Saxon woman, and made his residence in the neighbourhood +of Boston. I was glad that circumstances would not permit an +interview to take place between us. I could not desire their +misery; but I reaped no pleasure from reflecting on their +happiness. Time, and the exertions of my fortitude, cured me, +in some degree, of this folly. I continued to love him, but my +passion was disguised to myself; I considered it merely as a +more tender species of friendship, and cherished it without +compunction. + +Through my uncle's exertions a meeting was brought about +between Carwin and Pleyel, and explanations took place which +restored me at once to the good opinion of the latter. Though +separated so widely our correspondence was punctual and +frequent, and paved the way for that union which can only end +with the death of one of us. + +In my letters to him I made no secret of my former +sentiments. This was a theme on which I could talk without +painful, though not without delicate emotions. That knowledge +which I should never have imparted to a lover, I felt little +scruple to communicate to a friend. + +A year and an half elapsed when Theresa was snatched from him +by death, in the hour in which she gave him the first pledge of +their mutual affection. This event was borne by him with his +customary fortitude. It induced him, however, to make a change +in his plans. He disposed of his property in America, and +joined my uncle and me, who had terminated the wanderings of two +years at Montpellier, which will henceforth, I believe, be our +permanent abode. + +If you reflect upon that entire confidence which had +subsisted from our infancy between Pleyel and myself; on the +passion that I had contracted, and which was merely smothered +for a time; and on the esteem which was mutual, you will not, +perhaps, be surprized that the renovation of our intercourse +should give birth to that union which at present subsists. When +the period had elapsed necessary to weaken the remembrance of +Theresa, to whom he had been bound by ties more of honor than of +love, he tendered his affections to me. I need not add that the +tender was eagerly accepted. + +Perhaps you are somewhat interested in the fate of Carwin. +He saw, when too late, the danger of imposture. So much +affected was he by the catastrophe to which he was a witness, +that he laid aside all regard to his own safety. He sought my +uncle, and confided to him the tale which he had just related to +me. He found a more impartial and indulgent auditor in Mr. +Cambridge, who imputed to maniacal illusion the conduct of +Wieland, though he conceived the previous and unseen agency of +Carwin, to have indirectly but powerfully predisposed to this +deplorable perversion of mind. + +It was easy for Carwin to elude the persecutions of Ludloe. +It was merely requisite to hide himself in a remote district of +Pennsylvania. This, when he parted from us, he determined to +do. He is now probably engaged in the harmless pursuits of +agriculture, and may come to think, without insupportable +remorse, on the evils to which his fatal talents have given +birth. The innocence and usefulness of his future life may, in +some degree, atone for the miseries so rashly or so +thoughtlessly inflicted. + +More urgent considerations hindered me from mentioning, in +the course of my former mournful recital, any particulars +respecting the unfortunate father of Louisa Conway. That man +surely was reserved to be a monument of capricious fortune. His +southern journies being finished, he returned to Philadelphia. +Before he reached the city he left the highway, and alighted at +my brother's door. Contrary to his expectation, no one came +forth to welcome him, or hail his approach. He attempted to +enter the house, but bolted doors, barred windows, and a silence +broken only by unanswered calls, shewed him that the mansion was +deserted. + +He proceeded thence to my habitation, which he found, in like +manner, gloomy and tenantless. His surprize may be easily +conceived. The rustics who occupied the hut told him an +imperfect and incredible tale. He hasted to the city, and +extorted from Mrs. Baynton a full disclosure of late disasters. + +He was inured to adversity, and recovered, after no long +time, from the shocks produced by this disappointment of his +darling scheme. Our intercourse did not terminate with his +departure from America. We have since met with him in France, +and light has at length been thrown upon the motives which +occasioned the disappearance of his wife, in the manner which I +formerly related to you. + +I have dwelt upon the ardour of their conjugal attachment, +and mentioned that no suspicion had ever glanced upon her +purity. This, though the belief was long cherished, recent +discoveries have shewn to be questionable. No doubt her +integrity would have survived to the present moment, if an +extraordinary fate had not befallen her. + +Major Stuart had been engaged, while in Germany, in a contest +of honor with an Aid de Camp of the Marquis of Granby. His +adversary had propagated a rumour injurious to his character. +A challenge was sent; a meeting ensued; and Stuart wounded and +disarmed the calumniator. The offence was atoned for, and his +life secured by suitable concessions. + +Maxwell, that was his name, shortly after, in consequence of +succeeding to a rich inheritance, sold his commission and +returned to London. His fortune was speedily augmented by an +opulent marriage. Interest was his sole inducement to this +marriage, though the lady had been swayed by a credulous +affection. The true state of his heart was quickly discovered, +and a separation, by mutual consent, took place. The lady +withdrew to an estate in a distant county, and Maxwell continued +to consume his time and fortune in the dissipation of the +capital. + +Maxwell, though deceitful and sensual, possessed great force +of mind and specious accomplishments. He contrived to mislead +the generous mind of Stuart, and to regain the esteem which his +misconduct, for a time, had forfeited. He was recommended by +her husband to the confidence of Mrs. Stuart. Maxwell was +stimulated by revenge, and by a lawless passion, to convert this +confidence into a source of guilt. + +The education and capacity of this woman, the worth of her +husband, the pledge of their alliance which time had produced, +her maturity in age and knowledge of the world--all combined to +render this attempt hopeless. Maxwell, however, was not easily +discouraged. The most perfect being, he believed, must owe his +exemption from vice to the absence of temptation. The impulses +of love are so subtile, and the influence of false reasoning, +when enforced by eloquence and passion, so unbounded, that no +human virtue is secure from degeneracy. All arts being tried, +every temptation being summoned to his aid, dissimulation being +carried to its utmost bound, Maxwell, at length, nearly +accomplished his purpose. The lady's affections were withdrawn +from her husband and transferred to him. She could not, as yet, +be reconciled to dishonor. All efforts to induce her to elope +with him were ineffectual. She permitted herself to love, and +to avow her love; but at this limit she stopped, and was +immoveable. + +Hence this revolution in her sentiments was productive only +of despair. Her rectitude of principle preserved her from +actual guilt, but could not restore to her her ancient +affection, or save her from being the prey of remorseful and +impracticable wishes. Her husband's absence produced a state of +suspense. This, however, approached to a period, and she +received tidings of his intended return. Maxwell, being +likewise apprized of this event, and having made a last and +unsuccessful effort to conquer her reluctance to accompany him +in a journey to Italy, whither he pretended an invincible +necessity of going, left her to pursue the measures which +despair might suggest. At the same time she received a letter +from the wife of Maxwell, unveiling the true character of this +man, and revealing facts which the artifices of her seducer had +hitherto concealed from her. Mrs. Maxwell had been prompted to +this disclosure by a knowledge of her husband's practices, with +which his own impetuosity had made her acquainted. + +This discovery, joined to the delicacy of her scruples and +the anguish of remorse, induced her to abscond. This scheme was +adopted in haste, but effected with consummate prudence. She +fled, on the eve of her husband's arrival, in the disguise of a +boy, and embarked at Falmouth in a packet bound for America. + +The history of her disastrous intercourse with Maxwell, the +motives inducing her to forsake her country, and the measures +she had taken to effect her design, were related to Mrs. +Maxwell, in reply to her communication. Between these women an +ancient intimacy and considerable similitude of character +subsisted. This disclosure was accompanied with solemn +injunctions of secrecy, and these injunctions were, for a long +time, faithfully observed. + +Mrs. Maxwell's abode was situated on the banks of the Wey. +Stuart was her kinsman; their youth had been spent together; and +Maxwell was in some degree indebted to the man whom he betrayed, +for his alliance with this unfortunate lady. Her esteem for the +character of Stuart had never been diminished. A meeting +between them was occasioned by a tour which the latter had +undertaken, in the year after his return from America, to Wales +and the western counties. This interview produced pleasure and +regret in each. Their own transactions naturally became the +topics of their conversation; and the untimely fate of his wife +and daughter were related by the guest. + +Mrs. Maxwell's regard for her friend, as well as for the +safety of her husband, persuaded her to concealment; but the +former being dead, and the latter being out of the kingdom, she +ventured to produce Mrs. Stuart's letter, and to communicate her +own knowledge of the treachery of Maxwell. She had previously +extorted from her guest a promise not to pursue any scheme of +vengeance; but this promise was made while ignorant of the full +extent of Maxwell's depravity, and his passion refused to adhere +to it. + +At this time my uncle and I resided at Avignon. Among the +English resident there, and with whom we maintained a social +intercourse, was Maxwell. This man's talents and address +rendered him a favorite both with my uncle and myself. He had +even tendered me his hand in marriage; but this being refused, +he had sought and obtained permission to continue with us the +intercourse of friendship. Since a legal marriage was +impossible, no doubt, his views were flagitious. Whether he had +relinquished these views I was unable to judge. + +He was one in a large circle at a villa in the environs, to +which I had likewise been invited, when Stuart abruptly entered +the apartment. He was recognized with genuine satisfaction by +me, and with seeming pleasure by Maxwell. In a short time, some +affair of moment being pleaded, which required an immediate and +exclusive interview, Maxwell and he withdrew together. Stuart +and my uncle had been known to each other in the German army; +and the purpose contemplated by the former in this long and +hasty journey, was confided to his old friend. + +A defiance was given and received, and the banks of a +rivulet, about a league from the city, was selected as the scene +of this contest. My uncle, having exerted himself in vain to +prevent an hostile meeting, consented to attend them as a +surgeon.--Next morning, at sun-rise, was the time chosen. + +I returned early in the evening to my lodgings. +Preliminaries being settled between the combatants, Stuart had +consented to spend the evening with us, and did not retire till +late. On the way to his hotel he was exposed to no molestation, +but just as he stepped within the portico, a swarthy and +malignant figure started from behind a column. and plunged a +stiletto into his body. + +The author of this treason could not certainly be discovered; +but the details communicated by Stuart, respecting the history +of Maxwell, naturally pointed him out as an object of suspicion. +No one expressed more concern, on account of this disaster, than +he; and he pretended an ardent zeal to vindicate his character +from the aspersions that were cast upon it. Thenceforth, +however, I denied myself to his visits; and shortly after he +disappeared from this scene. + +Few possessed more estimable qualities, and a better title to +happiness and the tranquil honors of long life, than the mother +and father of Louisa Conway: yet they were cut off in the bloom +of their days; and their destiny was thus accomplished by the +same hand. Maxwell was the instrument of their destruction, +though the instrument was applied to this end in so different a +manner. + +I leave you to moralize on this tale. That virtue should +become the victim of treachery is, no doubt, a mournful +consideration; but it will not escape your notice, that the +evils of which Carwin and Maxwell were the authors, owed their +existence to the errors of the sufferers. All efforts would +have been ineffectual to subvert the happiness or shorten the +existence of the Stuarts, if their own frailty had not seconded +these efforts. If the lady had crushed her disastrous passion +in the bud, and driven the seducer from her presence, when the +tendency of his artifices was seen; if Stuart had not admitted +the spirit of absurd revenge, we should not have had to deplore +this catastrophe. If Wieland had framed juster notions of moral +duty, and of the divine attributes; or if I had been gifted with +ordinary equanimity or foresight, the double-tongued deceiver +would have been baffled and repelled. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Etext of Wieland, by Charles Brockden Brown + |