diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/lwfan10.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/lwfan10.txt | 3320 |
1 files changed, 3320 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/old/lwfan10.txt b/old/lwfan10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..91d24ed --- /dev/null +++ b/old/lwfan10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3320 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Lady Windermere's Fan, by Oscar Wilde +(#5 in our series by Oscar Wilde) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Lady Windermere's Fan + +Author: Oscar Wilde + +Release Date: January, 1997 [EBook #790] +[This file was first posted on January 25, 1997] +[Most recently updated: September 17, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN *** + + + + +Transcribed from the 1917 Methuen & Co. Ltd edition by David Price, +email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk + + + + +LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN + + + + +THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY + +Lord Windermere +Lord Darlington +Lord Augustus Lorton +Mr. Dumby +Mr. Cecil Graham +Mr. Hopper +Parker, Butler + +Lady Windermere +The Duchess of Berwick +Lady Agatha Carlisle +Lady Plymdale +Lady Stutfield +Lady Jedburgh +Mrs. Cowper-Cowper +Mrs. Erlynne +Rosalie, Maid + + +THE SCENES OF THE PLAY + + +ACT I. Morning-room in Lord Windermere's house. +ACT II. Drawing-room in Lord Windermere's house. +ACT III. Lord Darlington's rooms. +ACT IV. Same as Act I. + +TIME: The Present +PLACE: London. + +The action of the play takes place within twenty-four hours, +beginning on a Tuesday afternoon at five o'clock, and ending the +next day at 1.30 p.m. + + +LONDON: ST. JAMES'S THEATRE + + +Lessee and Manager: Mr. George Alexander +February 22nd, 1892. + +Lord Windermere, Mr. George Alexander. +Lord Darlington, Mr. Nutcombe Gould. +Lord Augustus Lorton, Mr. H. H. Vincent. +Mr. Cecil Graham, Mr. Ben Webster. +Mr. Dumby, Mr. Vane-Tempest. +Mr. Hopper, Mr. Alfred Holles. +Parker (Butler), Mr. V. Sansbury. +Lady Windermere, Miss Lily Hanbury. +The Duchess of Berwick, Miss Fanny Coleman. +Lady Agatha Carlisle, Miss Laura Graves. +Lady Plymdale, Miss Granville. +Lady Jedburgh, Miss B. Page. +Lady Stutfield, Miss Madge Girdlestone. +Mrs. Cowper-Cowper, Miss A. de Winton. +Mrs. Erlynne, Miss Marion Terry. +Rosalie (Maid), Miss Winifred Dolan. + + + +FIRST ACT + + + +SCENCE + +Morning-room of Lord Windermere's house in Carlton House Terrace. +Doors C. and R. Bureau with books and papers R. Sofa with small +tea-table L. Window opening on to terrace L. Table R. + + +[LADY WINDERMERE is at table R., arranging roses in a blue bowl.] + +[Enter PARKER.] + +PARKER. Is your ladyship at home this afternoon? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes--who has called? + +PARKER. Lord Darlington, my lady. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Hesitates for a moment.] Show him up--and I'm +at home to any one who calls. + +PARKER. Yes, my lady. + +[Exit C.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. It's best for me to see him before to-night. I'm +glad he's come. + +[Enter PARKER C.] + +PARKER. Lord Darlington, + +[Enter LORD DARLINGTON C.] + +[Exit PARKER.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. How do you do, Lady Windermere? + +LADY WINDERMERE. How do you do, Lord Darlington? No, I can't +shake hands with you. My hands are all wet with these roses. +Aren't they lovely? They came up from Selby this morning. + +LORD DARLINGTON. They are quite perfect. [Sees a fan lying on the +table.] And what a wonderful fan! May I look at it? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Do. Pretty, isn't it! It's got my name on it, +and everything. I have only just seen it myself. It's my +husband's birthday present to me. You know to-day is my birthday? + +LORD DARLINGTON. No? Is it really? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes, I'm of age to-day. Quite an important day +in my life, isn't it? That is why I am giving this party to-night. +Do sit down. [Still arranging flowers.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Sitting down.] I wish I had known it was your +birthday, Lady Windermere. I would have covered the whole street +in front of your house with flowers for you to walk on. They are +made for you. [A short pause.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Lord Darlington, you annoyed me last night at the +Foreign Office. I am afraid you are going to annoy me again. + +LORD DARLINGTON. I, Lady Windermere? + +[Enter PARKER and FOOTMAN C., with tray and tea things.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Put it there, Parker. That will do. [Wipes her +hands with her pocket-handkerchief, goes to tea-table, and sits +down.] Won't you come over, Lord Darlington? + +[Exit PARKER C.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Takes chair and goes across L.C.] I am quite +miserable, Lady Windermere. You must tell me what I did. [Sits +down at table L.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Well, you kept paying me elaborate compliments +the whole evening. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Smiling.] Ah, nowadays we are all of us so hard +up, that the only pleasant things to pay ARE compliments. They're +the only things we CAN pay. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Shaking her head.] No, I am talking very +seriously. You mustn't laugh, I am quite serious. I don't like +compliments, and I don't see why a man should think he is pleasing +a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that +he doesn't mean. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Ah, but I did mean them. [Takes tea which she +offers him.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Gravely.] I hope not. I should be sorry to +have to quarrel with you, Lord Darlington. I like you very much, +you know that. But I shouldn't like you at all if I thought you +were what most other men are. Believe me, you are better than most +other men, and I sometimes think you pretend to be worse. + +LORD DARLINGTON. We all have our little vanities, Lady Windermere. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Why do you make that your special one? [Still +seated at table L.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Still seated L.C.] Oh, nowadays so many +conceited people go about Society pretending to be good, that I +think it shows rather a sweet and modest disposition to pretend to +be bad. Besides, there is this to be said. If you pretend to be +good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be +bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Don't you WANT the world to take you seriously +then, Lord Darlington? + +LORD DARLINGTON. No, not the world. Who are the people the world +takes seriously? All the dull people one can think of, from the +Bishops down to the bores. I should like YOU to take me very +seriously, Lady Windermere, YOU more than any one else in life. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Why--why me? + +LORD DARLINGTON. [After a slight hesitation.] Because I think we +might be great friends. Let us be great friends. You may want a +friend some day. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Why do you say that? + +LORD DARLINGTON. Oh!--we all want friends at times. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I think we're very good friends already, Lord +Darlington. We can always remain so as long as you don't - + +LORD DARLINGTON. Don't what? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Don't spoil it by saying extravagant silly things +to me. You think I am a Puritan, I suppose? Well, I have +something of the Puritan in me. I was brought up like that. I am +glad of it. My mother died when I was a mere child. I lived +always with Lady Julia, my father's elder sister, you know. She +was stern to me, but she taught me what the world is forgetting, +the difference that there is between what is right and what is +wrong. SHE allowed of no compromise. _I_ allow of none. + +LORD DARLINGTON. My dear Lady Windermere! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Leaning back on the sofa.] You look on me as +being behind the age.--Well, I am! I should be sorry to be on the +same level as an age like this. + +LORD DARLINGTON. You think the age very bad? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes. Nowadays people seem to look on life as a +speculation. It is not a speculation. It is a sacrament. Its +ideal is Love. Its purification is sacrifice. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Smiling.] Oh, anything is better than being +sacrificed! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Leaning forward.] Don't say that. + +LORD DARLINGTON. I do say it. I feel it--I know it. + +[Enter PARKER C.] + +PARKER. The men want to know if they are to put the carpets on the +terrace for to-night, my lady? + +LADY WINDERMERE. You don't think it will rain, Lord Darlington, do +you? + +LORD DARLINGTON. I won't hear of its raining on your birthday! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Tell them to do it at once, Parker. + +[Exit PARKER C.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Still seated.] Do you think then--of course I +am only putting an imaginary instance--do you think that in the +case of a young married couple, say about two years married, if the +husband suddenly becomes the intimate friend of a woman of--well, +more than doubtful character--is always calling upon her, lunching +with her, and probably paying her bills--do you think that the wife +should not console herself? + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Frowning] Console herself? + +LORD DARLINGTON. Yes, I think she should--I think she has the +right. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Because the husband is vile--should the wife be +vile also? + +LORD DARLINGTON. Vileness is a terrible word, Lady Windermere. + +LADY WINDERMERE. It is a terrible thing, Lord Darlington. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Do you know I am afraid that good people do a +great deal of harm in this world. Certainly the greatest harm they +do is that they make badness of such extraordinary importance. It +is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either +charming or tedious. I take the side of the charming, and you, +Lady Windermere, can't help belonging to them. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Now, Lord Darlington. [Rising and crossing R., +front of him.] Don't stir, I am merely going to finish my flowers. +[Goes to table R.C.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Rising and moving chair.] And I must say I +think you are very hard on modern life, Lady Windermere. Of course +there is much against it, I admit. Most women, for instance, +nowadays, are rather mercenary. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Don't talk about such people. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Well then, setting aside mercenary people, who, +of course, are dreadful, do you think seriously that women who have +committed what the world calls a fault should never be forgiven? + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Standing at table.] I think they should never +be forgiven. + +LORD DARLINGTON. And men? Do you think that there should be the +same laws for men as there are for women? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Certainly! + +LORD DARLINGTON. I think life too complex a thing to be settled by +these hard and fast rules. + +LADY WINDERMERE. If we had 'these hard and fast rules,' we should +find life much more simple. + +LORD DARLINGTON. You allow of no exceptions? + +LADY WINDERMERE. None! + +LORD DARLINGTON. Ah, what a fascinating Puritan you are, Lady +Windermere! + +LADY WINDERMERE. The adjective was unnecessary, Lord Darlington. + +LORD DARLINGTON. I couldn't help it. I can resist everything +except temptation. + +LADY WINDERMERE. You have the modern affectation of weakness. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Looking at her.] It's only an affectation, Lady +Windermere. + +[Enter PARKER C.] + +PARKER. The Duchess of Berwick and Lady Agatha Carlisle. + +[Enter the DUCHESS OF BERWICK and LADY AGATHA CARLISLE C.] + +[Exit PARKER C.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Coming down C., and shaking hands.] Dear +Margaret, I am so pleased to see you. You remember Agatha, don't +you? [Crossing L.C.] How do you do, Lord Darlington? I won't let +you know my daughter, you are far too wicked. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Don't say that, Duchess. As a wicked man I am a +complete failure. Why, there are lots of people who say I have +never really done anything wrong in the whole course of my life. +Of course they only say it behind my back. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Isn't he dreadful? Agatha, this is Lord +Darlington. Mind you don't believe a word he says. [LORD +DARLINGTON crosses R.C.] No, no tea, thank you, dear. [Crosses +and sits on sofa.] We have just had tea at Lady Markby's. Such +bad tea, too. It was quite undrinkable. I wasn't at all +surprised. Her own son-in-law supplies it. Agatha is looking +forward so much to your ball to-night, dear Margaret. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Seated L.C.] Oh, you mustn't think it is going +to be a ball, Duchess. It is only a dance in honour of my +birthday. A small and early. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Standing L.C.] Very small, very early, and very +select, Duchess. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [On sofa L.] Of course it's going to be +select. But we know THAT, dear Margaret, about YOUR house. It is +really one of the few houses in London where I can take Agatha, and +where I feel perfectly secure about dear Berwick. I don't know +what society is coming to. The most dreadful people seem to go +everywhere. They certainly come to my parties--the men get quite +furious if one doesn't ask them. Really, some one should make a +stand against it. + +LADY WINDERMERE. _I_ will, Duchess. I will have no one in my +house about whom there is any scandal. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [R.C.] Oh, don't say that, Lady Windermere. I +should never be admitted! [Sitting.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Oh, men don't matter. With women it is +different. We're good. Some of us are, at least. But we are +positively getting elbowed into the corner. Our husbands would +really forget our existence if we didn't nag at them from time to +time, just to remind them that we have a perfect legal right to do +so. + +LORD DARLINGTON. It's a curious thing, Duchess, about the game of +marriage--a game, by the way, that is going out of fashion--the +wives hold all the honours, and invariably lose the odd trick. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. The odd trick? Is that the husband, Lord +Darlington? + +LORD DARLINGTON. It would be rather a good name for the modern +husband. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Dear Lord Darlington, how thoroughly depraved +you are! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Lord Darlington is trivial. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Ah, don't say that, Lady Windermere. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Why do you TALK so trivially about life, then? + +LORD DARLINGTON. Because I think that life is far too important a +thing ever to talk seriously about it. [Moves up C.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. What does he mean? Do, as a concession to my +poor wits, Lord Darlington, just explain to me what you really +mean. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Coming down back of table.] I think I had +better not, Duchess. Nowadays to be intelligible is to be found +out. Good-bye! [Shakes hands with DUCHESS.] And now--[goes up +stage] Lady Windermere, good-bye. I may come to-night, mayn't I? +Do let me come. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Standing up stage with LORD DARLINGTON.] Yes, +certainly. But you are not to say foolish, insincere things to +people. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Smiling.] Ah! you are beginning to reform me. +It is a dangerous thing to reform any one, Lady Windermere. [Bows, +and exit C.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Who has risen, goes C.] What a charming, +wicked creature! I like him so much. I'm quite delighted he's +gone! How sweet you're looking! Where DO you get your gowns? And +now I must tell you how sorry I am for you, dear Margaret. +[Crosses to sofa and sits with LADY WINDERMERE.] Agatha, darling! + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. [Rises.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Will you go and look over the photograph album +that I see there? + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. [Goes to table up L.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Dear girl! She is so fond of photographs of +Switzerland. Such a pure taste, I think. But I really am so sorry +for you, Margaret + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Smiling.] Why, Duchess? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Oh, on account of that horrid woman. She +dresses so well, too, which makes it much worse, sets such a +dreadful example. Augustus--you know my disreputable brother--such +a trial to us all--well, Augustus is completely infatuated about +her. It is quite scandalous, for she is absolutely inadmissible +into society. Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has +at least a dozen, and that they all fit. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Whom are you talking about, Duchess? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. About Mrs. Erlynne. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Mrs. Erlynne? I never heard of her, Duchess. +And what HAS she to do with me? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. My poor child! Agatha, darling! + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Will you go out on the terrace and look at the +sunset? + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. [Exit through window, L.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Sweet girl! So devoted to sunsets! Shows +such refinement of feeling, does it not? After all, there is +nothing like Nature, is there? + +LADY WINDERMERE. But what is it, Duchess? Why do you talk to me +about this person? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Don't you really know? I assure you we're all +so distressed about it. Only last night at dear Lady Jansen's +every one was saying how extraordinary it was that, of all men in +London, Windermere should behave in such a way. + +LADY WINDERMERE. My husband--what has HE got to do with any woman +of that kind? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Ah, what indeed, dear? That is the point. He +goes to see her continually, and stops for hours at a time, and +while he is there she is not at home to any one. Not that many +ladies call on her, dear, but she has a great many disreputable men +friends--my own brother particularly, as I told you--and that is +what makes it so dreadful about Windermere. We looked upon HIM as +being such a model husband, but I am afraid there is no doubt about +it. My dear nieces--you know the Saville girls, don't you?--such +nice domestic creatures--plain, dreadfully plain, but so good-- +well, they're always at the window doing fancy work, and making +ugly things for the poor, which I think so useful of them in these +dreadful socialistic days, and this terrible woman has taken a +house in Curzon Street, right opposite them--such a respectable +street, too! I don't know what we're coming to! And they tell me +that Windermere goes there four and five times a week--they SEE +him. They can't help it--and although they never talk scandal, +they--well, of course--they remark on it to every one. And the +worst of it all is that I have been told that this woman has got a +great deal of money out of somebody, for it seems that she came to +London six months ago without anything at all to speak of, and now +she has this charming house in Mayfair, drives her ponies in the +Park every afternoon and all--well, all--since she has known poor +dear Windermere. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Oh, I can't believe it! + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. But it's quite true, my dear. The whole of +London knows it. That is why I felt it was better to come and talk +to you, and advise you to take Windermere away at once to Homburg +or to Aix, where he'll have something to amuse him, and where you +can watch him all day long. I assure you, my dear, that on several +occasions after I was first married, I had to pretend to be very +ill, and was obliged to drink the most unpleasant mineral waters, +merely to get Berwick out of town. He was so extremely +susceptible. Though I am bound to say he never gave away any large +sums of money to anybody. He is far too high-principled for that! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Interrupting.] Duchess, Duchess, it's +impossible! [Rising and crossing stage to C.] We are only married +two years. Our child is but six months old. [Sits in chair R. of +L. table.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Ah, the dear pretty baby! How is the little +darling? Is it a boy or a girl? I hope a girl--Ah, no, I remember +it's a boy! I'm so sorry. Boys are so wicked. My boy is +excessively immoral. You wouldn't believe at what hours he comes +home. And he's only left Oxford a few months--I really don't know +what they teach them there. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Are ALL men bad? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Oh, all of them, my dear, all of them, without +any exception. And they never grow any better. Men become old, +but they never become good. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Windermere and I married for love. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Yes, we begin like that. It was only +Berwick's brutal and incessant threats of suicide that made me +accept him at all, and before the year was out, he was running +after all kinds of petticoats, every colour, every shape, every +material. In fact, before the honeymoon was over, I caught him +winking at my maid, a most pretty, respectable girl. I dismissed +her at once without a character.--No, I remember I passed her on to +my sister; poor dear Sir George is so short-sighted, I thought it +wouldn't matter. But it did, though--it was most unfortunate. +[Rises.] And now, my dear child, I must go, as we are dining out. +And mind you don't take this little aberration of Windermere's too +much to heart. Just take him abroad, and he'll come back to you +all right. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Come back to me? [C.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [L.C.] Yes, dear, these wicked women get our +husbands away from us, but they always come back, slightly damaged, +of course. And don't make scenes, men hate them! + +LADY WINDERMERE. It is very kind of you, Duchess, to come and tell +me all this. But I can't believe that my husband is untrue to me. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Pretty child! I was like that once. Now I +know that all men are monsters. [LADY WINDERMERE rings bell.] The +only thing to do is to feed the wretches well. A good cook does +wonders, and that I know you have. My dear Margaret, you are not +going to cry? + +LADY WINDERMERE. You needn't be afraid, Duchess, I never cry. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. That's quite right, dear. Crying is the +refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones. Agatha, +darling! + +LADY AGATHA. [Entering L.] Yes, mamma. [Stands back of table +L.C.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Come and bid good-bye to Lady Windermere, and +thank her for your charming visit. [Coming down again.] And by +the way, I must thank you for sending a card to Mr. Hopper--he's +that rich young Australian people are taking such notice of just at +present. His father made a great fortune by selling some kind of +food in circular tins--most palatable, I believe--I fancy it is the +thing the servants always refuse to eat. But the son is quite +interesting. I think he's attracted by dear Agatha's clever talk. +Of course, we should be very sorry to lose her, but I think that a +mother who doesn't part with a daughter every season has no real +affection. We're coming to-night, dear. [PARKER opens C. doors.] +And remember my advice, take the poor fellow out of town at once, +it is the only thing to do. Good-bye, once more; come, Agatha. + +[Exeunt DUCHESS and LADY AGATHA C.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. How horrible! I understand now what Lord +Darlington meant by the imaginary instance of the couple not two +years married. Oh! it can't be true--she spoke of enormous sums of +money paid to this woman. I know where Arthur keeps his bank book- +-in one of the drawers of that desk. I might find out by that. I +WILL find out. [Opens drawer.] No, it is some hideous mistake. +[Rises and goes C.] Some silly scandal! He loves ME! He loves +ME! But why should I not look? I am his wife, I have a right to +look! [Returns to bureau, takes out book and examines it page by +page, smiles and gives a sigh of relief.] I knew it! there is not +a word of truth in this stupid story. [Puts book back in dranver. +As the does so, starts and takes out another book.] A second book- +-private--locked! [Tries to open it, but fails. Sees paper knife +on bureau, and with it cuts cover from book. Begins to start at +the first page.] 'Mrs. Erlynne--600 pounds--Mrs. Erlynne--700 +pounds--Mrs. Erlynne--400 pounds.' Oh! it is true! It is true! +How horrible! [Throws book on floor.] [Enter LORD WINDERMERE C.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Well, dear, has the fan been sent home yet? +[Going R.C. Sees book.] Margaret, you have cut open my bank book. +You have no right to do such a thing! + +LADY WINDERMERE. You think it wrong that you are found out, don't +you? + +LORD WINDERMERE. I think it wrong that a wife should spy on her +husband. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I did not spy on you. I never knew of this +woman's existence till half an hour ago. Some one who pitied me +was kind enough to tell me what every one in London knows already-- +your daily visits to Curzon Street, your mad infatuation, the +monstrous sums of money you squander on this infamous woman! +[Crossing L.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret! don't talk like that of Mrs. Erlynne, +you don't know how unjust it is! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Turning to him.] You are very jealous of Mrs. +Erlynne's honour. I wish you had been as jealous of mine. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Your honour is untouched, Margaret. You don't +think for a moment that--[Puts book back into desk.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. I think that you spend your money strangely. +That is all. Oh, don't imagine I mind about the money. As far as +I am concerned, you may squander everything we have. But what I DO +mind is that you who have loved me, you who have taught me to love +you, should pass from the love that is given to the love that is +bought. Oh, it's horrible! [Sits on sofa.] And it is I who feel +degraded! YOU don't feel anything. I feel stained, utterly +stained. You can't realise how hideous the last six months seems +to me now--every kiss you have given me is tainted in my memory. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Crossing to her.] Don't say that, Margaret. I +never loved any one in the whole world but you. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Rises.] Who is this woman, then? Why do you +take a house for her? + +LORD WINDERMERE. I did not take a house for her. + +LADY WINDERMERE. You gave her the money to do it, which is the +same thing. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, as far as I have known Mrs. Erlynne - + +LADY WINDERMERE. Is there a Mr. Erlynne--or is he a myth? + +LORD WINDERMERE. Her husband died many years ago. She is alone in +the world. + +LADY WINDERMERE. No relations? [A pause.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. None. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Rather curious, isn't it? [L.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [L.C.] Margaret, I was saying to you--and I beg +you to listen to me--that as far as I have known Mrs. Erlynne, she +has conducted herself well. If years ago - + +LADY WINDERMERE. Oh! [Crossing R.C.] I don't want details about +her life! + +LORD WINDERMERE. [C.] I am not going to give you any details +about her life. I tell you simply this--Mrs. Erlynne was once +honoured, loved, respected. She was well born, she had position-- +she lost everything--threw it away, if you like. That makes it all +the more bitter. Misfortunes one can endure--they come from +outside, they are accidents. But to suffer for one's own faults-- +ah!--there is the sting of life. It was twenty years ago, too. +She was little more than a girl then. She had been a wife for even +less time than you have. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I am not interested in her--and--you should not +mention this woman and me in the same breath. It is an error of +taste. [Sitting R. at desk.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, you could save this woman. She wants +to get back into society, and she wants you to help her. [Crossing +to her.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Me! + +LORD WINDERMERE. Yes, you. + +LADY WINDERMERE. How impertinent of her! [A pause.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, I came to ask you a great favour, and I +still ask it of you, though you have discovered what I had intended +you should never have known that I have given Mrs. Erlynne a large +sum of money. I want you to send her an invitation for our party +to-night. [Standing L. of her.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. You are mad! [Rises.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. I entreat you. People may chatter about her, do +chatter about her, of course, but they don't know anything definite +against her. She has been to several houses--not to houses where +you would go, I admit, but still to houses where women who are in +what is called Society nowadays do go. That does not content her. +She wants you to receive her once. + +LADY WINDERMERE. As a triumph for her, I suppose? + +LORD WINDERMERE. No; but because she knows that you are a good +woman--and that if she comes here once she will have a chance of a +happier, a surer life than she has had. She will make no further +effort to know you. Won't you help a woman who is trying to get +back? + +LADY WINDERMERE. No! If a woman really repents, she never wishes +to return to the society that has made or seen her ruin. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I beg of you. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Crossing to door R.] I am going to dress for +dinner, and don't mention the subject again this evening. Arthur +[going to him C.], you fancy because I have no father or mother +that I am alone in the world, and that you can treat me as you +choose. You are wrong, I have friends, many friends. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [L.C.] Margaret, you are talking foolishly, +recklessly. I won't argue with you, but I insist upon your asking +Mrs. Erlynne to-night. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [R.C.] I shall do nothing of the kind. +[Crossing L. C.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. You refuse? [C.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Absolutely! + +LORD WINDERMERE. Ah, Margaret, do this for my sake; it is her last +chance. + +LADY WINDERMERE. What has that to do with me? + +LORD WINDERMERE. How hard good women are! + +LADY WINDERMERE. How weak bad men are! + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, none of us men may be good enough for +the women we marry--that is quite true--but you don't imagine I +would ever--oh, the suggestion is monstrous! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Why should YOU be different from other men? I am +told that there is hardly a husband in London who does not waste +his life over SOME shameful passion. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I am not one of them. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I am not sure of that! + +LORD WINDERMERE. You are sure in your heart. But don't make chasm +after chasm between us. God knows the last few minutes have thrust +us wide enough apart. Sit down and write the card. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Nothing in the whole world would induce me. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Crossing to bureau.] Then I will! [Rings +electric bell, sits and writes card.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. You are going to invite this woman? [Crossing to +him.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Yes. [Pause. Enter PARKER.] Parker! + +PARKER. Yes, my lord. [Comes down L.C.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Have this note sent to Mrs. Erlynne at No. 84A +Curzon Street. [Crossing to L.C. and giving note to PARKER.] +There is no answer! + +[Exit PARKER C.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Arthur, if that woman comes here, I shall insult +her. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, don't say that. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I mean it. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Child, if you did such a thing, there's not a +woman in London who wouldn't pity you. + +LADY WINDERMERE. There is not a GOOD woman in London who would not +applaud me. We have been too lax. We must make an example. I +propose to begin to-night. [Picking up fan.] Yes, you gave me +this fan to-day; it was your birthday present. If that woman +crosses my threshold, I shall strike her across the face with it. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, you couldn't do such a thing. + +LADY WINDERMERE. You don't know me! [Moves R.] + +[Enter PARKER.] + +Parker! + +PARKER. Yes, my lady. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I shall dine in my own room. I don't want +dinner, in fact. See that everything is ready by half-past ten. +And, Parker, be sure you pronounce the names of the guests very +distinctly to-night. Sometimes you speak so fast that I miss them. +I am particularly anxious to hear the names quite clearly, so as to +make no mistake. You understand, Parker? + +PARKER. Yes, my lady. + +LADY WINDERMERE. That will do! + +[Exit PARKER C.] + +[Speaking to LORD WINDERMERE] Arthur, if that woman comes here--I +warn you - + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, you'll ruin us! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Us! From this moment my life is separate from +yours. But if you wish to avoid a public scandal, write at once to +this woman, and tell her that I forbid her to come here! + +LORD WINDERMERE. I will not--I cannot--she must come! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Then I shall do exactly as I have said. [Goes +R.] You leave me no choice. [Exit R.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Calling after her.] Margaret! Margaret! [A +pause.] My God! What shall I do? I dare not tell her who this +woman really is. The shame would kill her. [Sinks down into a +chair and buries his face in his hands.] + +ACT DROP + + + +SECOND ACT + + + +SCENE + +Drawing-room in Lord Windermere's house. Door R.U. opening into +ball-room, where band is playing. Door L. through which guests are +entering. Door L.U. opens on to illuminated terrace. Palms, +flowers, and brilliant lights. Room crowded with guests. Lady +Windermere is receiving them. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Up C.] So strange Lord Windermere isn't +here. Mr. Hopper is very late, too. You have kept those five +dances for him, Agatha? [Comes down.] + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Sitting on sofa.] Just let me see your card. +I'm so glad Lady Windermere has revived cards.--They're a mother's +only safeguard. You dear simple little thing! [Scratches out two +names.] No nice girl should ever waltz with such particularly +younger sons! It looks so fast! The last two dances you might +pass on the terrace with Mr. Hopper. + +[Enter MR. DUMBY and LADY PLYMDALE from the ball-room.] + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Fanning herself.] The air is so pleasant +there. + +PARKER. Mrs. Cowper-Cowper. Lady Stutfield. Sir James Royston. +Mr. Guy Berkeley. + +[These people enter as announced.] + +DUMBY. Good evening, Lady Stutfield. I suppose this will be the +last ball of the season? + +LADY STUTFIELD. I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It's been a delightful +season, hasn't it? + +DUMBY. Quite delightful! Good evening, Duchess. I suppose this +will be the last ball of the season? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It has been a very +dull season, hasn't it? + +DUMBY. Dreadfully dull! Dreadfully dull! + +MR. COWPER-COWPER. Good evening, Mr. Dumby. I suppose this will +be the last ball of the season? + +DUMBY. Oh, I think not. There'll probably be two more. [Wanders +back to LADY PLYMDALE.] + +PARKER. Mr. Rufford. Lady Jedburgh and Miss Graham. Mr. Hopper. + +[These people enter as announced.] + +HOPPER. How do you do, Lady Windermere? How do you do, Duchess? +[Bows to LADY AGATHA.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Dear Mr. Hopper, how nice of you to come so +early. We all know how you are run after in London. + +HOPPER. Capital place, London! They are not nearly so exclusive +in London as they are in Sydney. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Ah! we know your value, Mr. Hopper. We wish +there were more like you. It would make life so much easier. Do +you know, Mr. Hopper, dear Agatha and I are so much interested in +Australia. It must be so pretty with all the dear little kangaroos +flying about. Agatha has found it on the map. What a curious +shape it is! Just like a large packing case. However, it is a +very young country, isn't it? + +HOPPER. Wasn't it made at the same time as the others, Duchess? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. How clever you are, Mr. Hopper. You have a +cleverness quite of your own. Now I mustn't keep you. + +HOPPER. But I should like to dance with Lady Agatha, Duchess. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Well, I hope she has a dance left. Have you a +dance left, Agatha? + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. The next one? + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. + +HOPPER. May I have the pleasure? [LADY AGATHA bows.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Mind you take great care of my little +chatterbox, Mr. Hopper. + +[LADY AGATHA and MR. HOPPER pass into ball-room.] + +[Enter LORD WINDERMERE.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Margaret, I want to speak to you. + +LADY WINDERMERE. In a moment. [The music drops.] + +PARKER. Lord Augustus Lorton. + +[Enter LORD AUGUSTUS.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Good evening, Lady Windermere. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Sir James, will you take me into the ball- +room? Augustus has been dining with us to-night. I really have +had quite enough of dear Augustus for the moment. + +[SIR JAMES ROYSTON gives the DUCHESS his aim and escorts her into +the ball-room.] + +PARKER. Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Bowden. Lord and Lady Paisley. Lord +Darlington. + +[These people enter as announced.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Coming up to LORD WINDERMERE.] Want to speak to +you particularly, dear boy. I'm worn to a shadow. Know I don't +look it. None of us men do look what we really are. Demmed good +thing, too. What I want to know is this. Who is she? Where does +she come from? Why hasn't she got any demmed relations? Demmed +nuisance, relations! But they make one so demmed respectable. + +LORD WINDERMERE. You are talking of Mrs. Erlynne, I suppose? I +only met her six months ago. Till then, I never knew of her +existence. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. You have seen a good deal of her since then. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Coldly.] Yes, I have seen a good deal of her +since then. I have just seen her. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Egad! the women are very down on her. I have been +dining with Arabella this evening! By Jove! you should have heard +what she said about Mrs. Erlynne. She didn't leave a rag on her. +. . [Aside.] Berwick and I told her that didn't matter much, as +the lady in question must have an extremely fine figure. You +should have seen Arabella's expression! . . . But, look here, dear +boy. I don't know what to do about Mrs. Erlynne. Egad! I might +be married to her; she treats me with such demmed indifference. +She's deuced clever, too! She explains everything. Egad! she +explains you. She has got any amount of explanations for you--and +all of them different. + +LORD WINDERMERE. No explanations are necessary about my friendship +with Mrs. Erlynne. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Hem! Well, look here, dear old fellow. Do you +think she will ever get into this demmed thing called Society? +Would you introduce her to your wife? No use beating about the +confounded bush. Would you do that? + +LORD WINDERMERE. Mrs. Erlynne is coming here to-night. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Your wife has sent her a card? + +LORD WINDERMERE. Mrs. Erlynne has received a card. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Then she's all right, dear boy. But why didn't you +tell me that before? It would have saved me a heap of worry and +demmed misunderstandings! + +[LADY AGATHA and MR. HOPPER cross and exit on terrace L.U.E.] + +PARKER. Mr. Cecil Graham! + +[Enter MR. CECIL GRAHAM.] + +CECIL GRAHAM. [Bows to LADY WINDERMERE, passes over and shakes +hands with LORD WINDERMERE.] Good evening, Arthur. Why don't you +ask me how I am? I like people to ask me how I am. It shows a +wide-spread interest in my health. Now, to-night I am not at all +well. Been dining with my people. Wonder why it is one's people +are always so tedious? My father would talk morality after dinner. +I told him he was old enough to know better. But my experience is +that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't +know anything at all. Hallo, Tuppy! Hear you're going to be +married again; thought you were tired of that game. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. You're excessively trivial, my dear boy, +excessively trivial! + +CECIL GRAHAM. By the way, Tuppy, which is it? Have you been twice +married and once divorced, or twice divorced and once married? I +say you've been twice divorced and once married. It seems so much +more probable. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. I have a very bad memory. I really don't remember +which. [Moves away R.] + +LADY PLYMDALE. Lord Windermere, I've something most particular to +ask you. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I am afraid--if you will excuse me--I must join +my wife. + +LADY PLYMDALE. Oh, you mustn't dream of such a thing. It's most +dangerous nowadays for a husband to pay any attention to his wife +in public. It always makes people think that he beats her when +they're alone. The world has grown so suspicious of anything that +looks like a happy married life. But I'll tell you what it is at +supper. [Moves towards door of ball-room.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [C.] Margaret! I MUST speak to you. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Will you hold my fan for me, Lord Darlington? +Thanks. [Comes down to him.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Crossing to her.] Margaret, what you said +before dinner was, of course, impossible? + +LADY WINDERMERE. That woman is not coming here to-night! + +LORD WINDERMERE. [R.C.] Mrs. Erlynne is coming here, and if you +in any way annoy or wound her, you will bring shame and sorrow on +us both. Remember that! Ah, Margaret! only trust me! A wife +should trust her husband! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [C.] London is full of women who trust their +husbands. One can always recognise them. They look so thoroughly +unhappy. I am not going to be one of them. [Moves up.] Lord +Darlington, will you give me back my fan, please? Thanks. . . . A +useful thing a fan, isn't it? . . . I want a friend to-night, Lord +Darlington: I didn't know I would want one so soon. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Lady Windermere! I knew the time would come some +day; but why to-night? + +LORD WINDERMERE. I WILL tell her. I must. It would be terrible +if there were any scene. Margaret . . . + +PARKER. Mrs. Erlynne! + +[LORD WINDERMERE starts. MRS. ERLYNNE enters, very beautifully +dressed and very dignified. LADY WINDERMERE clutches at her fan, +then lets it drop on the door. She bows coldly to MRS. ERLYNNE, +who bows to her sweetly in turn, and sails into the room.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. You have dropped your fan, Lady Windermere. +[Picks it up and hands it to her.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [C.] How do you do, again, Lord Windermere? How +charming your sweet wife looks! Quite a picture! + +LORD WINDERMERE. [In a low voice.] It was terribly rash of you to +come! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Smiling.] The wisest thing I ever did in my life. +And, by the way, you must pay me a good deal of attention this +evening. I am afraid of the women. You must introduce me to some +of them. The men I can always manage. How do you do, Lord +Augustus? You have quite neglected me lately. I have not seen you +since yesterday. I am afraid you're faithless. Every one told me +so. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [R.] Now really, Mrs. Erlynne, allow me to +explain. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [R.C.] No, dear Lord Augustus, you can't explain +anything. It is your chief charm. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Ah! if you find charms in me, Mrs. Erlynne - + +[They converse together. LORD WINDERMERE moves uneasily about the +room watching MRS. ERLYNNE.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. [To LADY WINDERMERE.] How pale you are! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Cowards are always pale! + +LORD DARLINGTON. You look faint. Come out on the terrace. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes. [To PARKER.] Parker, send my cloak out. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Crossing to her.] Lady Windermere, how beautifully +your terrace is illuminated. Reminds me of Prince Doria's at Rome. + +[LADY WINDERMERE bows coldly, and goes off with LORD DARLINGTON.] + +Oh, how do you do, Mr. Graham? Isn't that your aunt, Lady +Jedburgh? I should so much like to know her. + +CECIL GRAHAM. [After a moment's hesitation and embarrassment.] +Oh, certainly, if you wish it. Aunt Caroline, allow me to +introduce Mrs. Erlynne. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. So pleased to meet you, Lady Jedburgh. [Sits beside +her on the sofa.] Your nephew and I are great friends. I am so +much interested in his political career. I think he's sure to be a +wonderful success. He thinks like a Tory, and talks like a +Radical, and that's so important nowadays. He's such a brilliant +talker, too. But we all know from whom he inherits that. Lord +Allandale was saying to me only yesterday, in the Park, that Mr. +Graham talks almost as well as his aunt. + +LADY JEDBURGH. [R.] Most kind of you to say these charming things +to me! [MRS. ERLYNNE smiles, and continues conversation.] + +DUMBY. [To CECIL GRAHAM.] Did you introduce Mrs. Erlynne to Lady +Jedburgh? + +CECIL GRAHAM. Had to, my dear fellow. Couldn't help it! That +woman can make one do anything she wants. How, I don't know. + +DUMBY. Hope to goodness she won't speak to me! [Saunters towards +LADY PLYMDALE.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [C. To LADY JEDBURGH.] On Thursday? With great +pleasure. [Rises, and speaks to LORD WINDERMERE, laughing.] What +a bore it is to have to be civil to these old dowagers! But they +always insist on it! + +LADY PLYMDALE. [To MR. DUMBY.] Who is that well-dressed woman +talking to Windermere? + +DUMBY. Haven't got the slightest idea! Looks like an edition de +luxe of a wicked French novel, meant specially for the English +market. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. So that is poor Dumby with Lady Plymdale? I hear +she is frightfully jealous of him. He doesn't seem anxious to +speak to me to-night. I suppose he is afraid of her. Those straw- +coloured women have dreadful tempers. Do you know, I think I'll +dance with you first, Windermere. [LORD WINDERMERE bits his lip +and frowns.] It will make Lord Augustus so jealous! Lord +Augustus! [LORD AUGUSTUS comes down.] Lord Windermere insists on +my dancing with him first, and, as it's his own house, I can't well +refuse. You know I would much sooner dance with you. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [With a low bow.] I wish I could think so, Mrs. +Erlynne. + +MRS ERLYNNE. You know it far too well. I can fancy a person +dancing through life with you and finding it charming. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Placing his hand on his white waistcoat.] Oh, +thank you, thank you. You are the most adorable of all ladies! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. What a nice speech! So simple and so sincere! Just +the sort of speech I like. Well, you shall hold my bouquet. [Goes +towards ball-room on LORD WINDERMERE'S arm.] Ah, Mr. Dumby, how +are you? I am so sorry I have been out the last three times you +have called. Come and lunch on Friday. + +DUMBY. [With perfect nonchalance.] Delighted! + +[LADY PLYMDALE glares with indignation at MR. DUMBY. LORD AUGUSTUS +follows MRS. ERLYNNE and LORD WINDERMERE into the ball-room holding +bouquet] + +LADY PLYMDALE. [To MR. DUMBY.] What an absolute brute you are! I +never can believe a word you say! Why did you tell me you didn't +know her? What do you mean by calling on her three times running? +You are not to go to lunch there; of course you understand that? + +DUMBY. My dear Laura, I wouldn't dream of going! + +LADY PLYMDALE. You haven't told me her name yet! Who is she? + +DUMBY. [Coughs slightly and smooths his hair.] She's a Mrs. +Erlynne. + +LADY PLYMDALE. That woman! + +DUMBY. Yes; that is what every one calls her. + +LADY PLYMDALE. How very interesting! How intensely interesting! +I really must have a good stare at her. [Goes to door of ball-room +and looks in.] I have heard the most shocking things about her. +They say she is ruining poor Windermere. And Lady Windermere, who +goes in for being so proper, invites her! How extremely amusing! +It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing. +You are to lunch there on Friday! + +DUMBY. Why? + +LADY PLYMDALE. Because I want you to take my husband with you. He +has been so attentive lately, that he has become a perfect +nuisance. Now, this woman is just the thing for him. He'll dance +attendance upon her as long as she lets him, and won't bother me. +I assure you, women of that kind are most useful. They form the +basis of other people's marriages. + +DUMBY. What a mystery you are! + +LADY PLYMDALE. [Looking at him.] I wish YOU were! + +DUMBY. I am--to myself. I am the only person in the world I +should like to know thoroughly; but I don't see any chance of it +just at present. + +[They pass into the ball-room, and LADY WINDERMERE and LORD +DARLINGTON enter from the terrace.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes. Her coming here is monstrous, unbearable. +I know now what you meant to-day at tea-time. Why didn't you tell +me right out? You should have! + +LORD DARLINGTON. I couldn't! A man can't tell these things about +another man! But if I had known he was going to make you ask her +here to-night, I think I would have told you. That insult, at any +rate, you would have been spared. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I did not ask her. He insisted on her coming-- +against my entreaties--against my commands. Oh! the house is +tainted for me! I feel that every woman here sneers at me as she +dances by with my husband. What have I done to deserve this? I +gave him all my life. He took it--used it--spoiled it! I am +degraded in my own eyes; and I lack courage--I am a coward! [Sits +down on sofa.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. If I know you at all, I know that you can't live +with a man who treats you like this! What sort of life would you +have with him? You would feel that he was lying to you every +moment of the day. You would feel that the look in his eyes was +false, his voice false, his touch false, his passion false. He +would come to you when he was weary of others; you would have to +comfort him. He would come to you when he was devoted to others; +you would have to charm him. You would have to be to him the mask +of his real life, the cloak to hide his secret. + +LADY WINDERMERE. You are right--you are terribly right. But where +am I to turn? You said you would be my friend, Lord Darlington.-- +Tell me, what am I to do? Be my friend now. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Between men and women there is no friendship +possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no +friendship. I love you - + +LADY WINDERMERE. No, no! [Rises.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. Yes, I love you! You are more to me than +anything in the whole world. What does your husband give you? +Nothing. Whatever is in him he gives to this wretched woman, whom +he has thrust into your society, into your home, to shame you +before every one. I offer you my life - + +LADY WINDERMERE. Lord Darlington! + +LORD DARLINGTON. My life--my whole life. Take it, and do with it +what you will. . . . I love you--love you as I have never loved any +living thing. From the moment I met you I loved you, loved you +blindly, adoringly, madly! You did not know it then--you know it +now! Leave this house to-night. I won't tell you that the world +matters nothing, or the world's voice, or the voice of society. +They matter a great deal. They matter far too much. But there are +moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, +fully, entirely, completely--or dragging out some false, shallow, +degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You +have that moment now. Choose! Oh, my love, choose. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Moving slowly away from him, and looking at him +with startled eyes.] I have not the courage. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Following her.] Yes; you have the courage. +There may be six months of pain, of disgrace even, but when you no +longer bear his name, when you bear mine, all will be well. +Margaret, my love, my wife that shall be some day--yes, my wife! +You know it! What are you now? This woman has the place that +belongs by right to you. Oh! go--go out of this house, with head +erect, with a smile upon your lips, with courage in your eyes. All +London will know why you did it; and who will blame you? No one. +If they do, what matter? Wrong? What is wrong? It's wrong for a +man to abandon his wife for a shameless woman. It is wrong for a +wife to remain with a man who so dishonours her. You said once you +would make no compromise with things. Make none now. Be brave! +Be yourself! + +LADY WINDERMERE. I am afraid of being myself. Let me think! Let +me wait! My husband may return to me. [Sits down on sofa.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. And you would take him back! You are not what I +thought you were. You are just the same as every other woman. You +would stand anything rather than face the censure of a world, whose +praise you would despise. In a week you will be driving with this +woman in the Park. She will be your constant guest--your dearest +friend. You would endure anything rather than break with one blow +this monstrous tie. You are right. You have no courage; none! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Ah, give me time to think. I cannot answer you +now. [Passes her hand nervously over her brow.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. It must be now or not at all. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Rising from the sofa.] Then, not at all! [A +pause.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. You break my heart! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Mine is already broken. [A pause.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. To-morrow I leave England. This is the last time +I shall ever look on you. You will never see me again. For one +moment our lives met--our souls touched. They must never meet or +touch again. Good-bye, Margaret. [Exit.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. How alone I am in life! How terribly alone! + +[The music stops. Enter the DUCHESS OF BERWICK and LORD PAISLEY +laughing and talking. Other guests come on from ball-room.] + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Dear Margaret, I've just been having such a +delightful chat with Mrs. Erlynne. I am so sorry for what I said +to you this afternoon about her. Of course, she must be all right +if YOU invite her. A most attractive woman, and has such sensible +views on life. Told me she entirely disapproved of people marrying +more than once, so I feel quite safe about poor Augustus. Can't +imagine why people speak against her. It's those horrid nieces of +mine--the Saville girls--they're always talking scandal. Still, I +should go to Homburg, dear, I really should. She is just a little +too attractive. But where is Agatha? Oh, there she is: [LADY +AGATHA and MR. HOPPER enter from terrace L.U.E.] Mr. Hopper, I am +very, very angry with you. You have taken Agatha out on the +terrace, and she is so delicate. + +HOPPER. Awfully sorry, Duchess. We went out for a moment and then +got chatting together. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [C.] Ah, about dear Australia, I suppose? + +HOPPER. Yes! + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Agatha, darling! [Beckons her over.] + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma! + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Aside.] Did Mr. Hopper definitely - + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. And what answer did you give him, dear child? + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Affectionately.] My dear one! You always +say the right thing. Mr. Hopper! James! Agatha has told me +everything. How cleverly you have both kept your secret. + +HOPPER. You don't mind my taking Agatha off to Australia, then, +Duchess? + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Indignantly.] To Australia? Oh, don't +mention that dreadful vulgar place. + +HOPPER. But she said she'd like to come with me. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. [Severely.] Did you say that, Agatha? + +LADY AGATHA. Yes, mamma. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Agatha, you say the most silly things +possible. I think on the whole that Grosvenor Square would be a +more healthy place to reside in. There are lots of vulgar people +live in Grosvenor Square, but at any rate there are no horrid +kangaroos crawling about. But we'll talk about that to-morrow. +James, you can take Agatha down. You'll come to lunch, of course, +James. At half-past one, instead of two. The Duke will wish to +say a few words to you, I am sure. + +HOPPER. I should like to have a chat with the Duke, Duchess. He +has not said a single word to me yet. + +DUCHESS OF BERWICK. I think you'll find he will have a great deal +to say to you to-morrow. [Exit LADY AGATHA with MR. HOPPER.] And +now good-night, Margaret. I'm afraid it's the old, old story, +dear. Love--well, not love at first sight, but love at the end of +the season, which is so much more satisfactory. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Good-night, Duchess. + +[Exit the DUCHESS OF BERWICK on LORD PAISLEY'S arm.] + +LADY PLYMDALE. My dear Margaret, what a handsome woman your +husband has been dancing with! I should be quite jealous if I were +you! Is she a great friend of yours? + +LADY WINDERMERE. No! + +LADY PLYMDALE. Really? Good-night, dear. [Looks at MR. DUMBY and +exit.] + +DUMBY. Awful manners young Hopper has! + +CECIL GRAHAM. Ah! Hopper is one of Nature's gentlemen, the worst +type of gentleman I know. + +DUMBY. Sensible woman, Lady Windermere. Lots of wives would have +objected to Mrs. Erlynne coming. But Lady Windermere has that +uncommon thing called common sense. + +CECIL GRAHAM. And Windermere knows that nothing looks so like +innocence as an indiscretion. + +DUMBY. Yes; dear Windermere is becoming almost modern. Never +thought he would. [Bows to LADY WINDERMERE and exit.] + +LADY JEDBURGH. Good night, Lady Windermere. What a fascinating +woman Mrs. Erlynne is! She is coming to lunch on Thursday, won't +you come too? I expect the Bishop and dear Lady Merton. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I am afraid I am engaged, Lady Jedburgh. + +LADY JEDBURGH. So sorry. Come, dear. [Exeunt LADY JEDBURGH and +MISS GRAHAM.] + +[Enter MRS. ERLYNNE and LORD WINDERMERE.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Charming ball it has been! Quite reminds me of old +days. [Sits on sofa.] And I see that there are just as many fools +in society as there used to be. So pleased to find that nothing +has altered! Except Margaret. She's grown quite pretty. The last +time I saw her--twenty years ago, she was a fright in flannel. +Positive fright, I assure you. The dear Duchess! and that sweet +Lady Agatha! Just the type of girl I like! Well, really, +Windermere, if I am to be the Duchess's sister-in-law + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Sitting L. of her.] But are you--? + +[Exit MR. CECIL GRAHAM with rest of guests. LADY WINDERMERE +watches, with a look of scorn and pain, MRS. ERLYNNE and her +husband. They are unconscious of her presence.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Oh, yes! He's to call to-morrow at twelve o'clock! +He wanted to propose to-night. In fact he did. He kept on +proposing. Poor Augustus, you know how he repeats himself. Such a +bad habit! But I told him I wouldn't give him an answer till to- +morrow. Of course I am going to take him. And I dare say I'll +make him an admirable wife, as wives go. And there is a great deal +of good in Lord Augustus. Fortunately it is all on the surface. +Just where good qualities should be. Of course you must help me in +this matter. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I am not called on to encourage Lord Augustus, I +suppose? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Oh, no! I do the encouraging. But you will make me +a handsome settlement, Windermere, won't you? + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Frowning.] Is that what you want to talk to me +about to-night? + +MRS ERLYNNE. Yes. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [With a gesture of impatience.] I will not talk +of it here. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Laughing.] Then we will talk of it on the terrace. +Even business should have a picturesque background. Should it not, +Windermere? With a proper background women can do anything. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Won't to-morrow do as well? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. No; you see, to-morrow I am going to accept him. +And I think it would be a good thing if I was able to tell him that +I had--well, what shall I say?--2000 pounds a year left to me by a +third cousin--or a second husband--or some distant relative of that +kind. It would be an additional attraction, wouldn't it? You have +a delightful opportunity now of paying me a compliment, Windermere. +But you are not very clever at paying compliments. I am afraid +Margaret doesn't encourage you in that excellent habit. It's a +great mistake on her part. When men give up saying what is +charming, they give up thinking what is charming. But seriously, +what do you say to 2000 pounds? 2500 pounds, I think. In modern +life margin is everything. Windermere, don't you think the world +an intensely amusing place? I do! + +[Exit on terrace with LORD WINDERMERE. Music strikes up in ball- +room.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. To stay in this house any longer is impossible. +To-night a man who loves me offered me his whole life. I refused +it. It was foolish of me. I will offer him mine now. I will give +him mine. I will go to him! [Puts on cloak and goes to the door, +then turns back. Sits down at table and writes a letter, puts it +into an envelope, and leaves it on table.] Arthur has never +understood me. When he reads this, he will. He may do as he +chooses now with his life. I have done with mine as I think best, +as I think right. It is he who has broken the bond of marriage-- +not I. I only break its bondage. + +[Exit.] + +[PARKER enters L. and crosses towards the ball-room R. Enter MRS. +ERLYNNE.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Is Lady Windermere in the ball-room? + +PARKER. Her ladyship has just gone out. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Gone out? She's not on the terrace? + +PARKER. No, madam. Her ladyship has just gone out of the house. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Starts, and looks at the servant with a puzzled +expression in her face.] Out of the house? + +PARKER. Yes, madam--her ladyship told me she had left a letter for +his lordship on the table. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. A letter for Lord Windermere? + +PARKER. Yes, madam. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Thank you. + +[Exit PARKER. The music in the ball-room stops.] Gone out of her +house! A letter addressed to her husband! [Goes over to bureau +and looks at letter. Takes it up and lays it down again with a +shudder of fear.] No, no! It would be impossible! Life doesn't +repeat its tragedies like that! Oh, why does this horrible fancy +come across me? Why do I remember now the one moment of my life I +most wish to forget? Does life repeat its tragedies? [Tears +letter open and reads it, then sinks down into a chair with a +gesture of anguish.] Oh, how terrible! The same words that twenty +years ago I wrote to her father! and how bitterly I have been +punished for it! No; my punishment, my real punishment is to- +night, is now! [Still seated R.] + +[Enter LORD WINDERMERE L.U.E.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Have you said good-night to my wife? [Comes C.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Crushing letter in her hand.] Yes. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Where is she? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. She is very tired. She has gone to bed. She said +she had a headache. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I must go to her. You'll excuse me? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Rising hurriedly.] Oh, no! It's nothing serious. +She's only very tired, that is all. Besides, there are people +still in the supper-room. She wants you to make her apologies to +them. She said she didn't wish to be disturbed. [Drops letter.] +She asked me to tell you! + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Picks up letter.] You have dropped something. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Oh yes, thank you, that is mine. [Puts out her hand +to take it.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Still looking at letter.] But it's my wife's +handwriting, isn't it? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Takes the letter quickly.] Yes, it's--an address. +Will you ask them to call my carriage, please? + +LORD WINDERMERE. Certainly. + +[Goes L. and Exit.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Thanks! What can I do? What can I do? I feel a +passion awakening within me that I never felt before. What can it +mean? The daughter must not be like the mother--that would be +terrible. How can I save her? How can I save my child? A moment +may ruin a life. Who knows that better than I? Windermere must be +got out of the house; that is absolutely necessary. [Goes L.] But +how shall I do it? It must be done somehow. Ah! + +[Enter LORD AUGUSTUS R.U.E. carrying bouquet.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Dear lady, I am in such suspense! May I not have +an answer to my request? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Lord Augustus, listen to me. You are to take Lord +Windermere down to your club at once, and keep him there as long as +possible. You understand? + +LORD AUGUSTUS. But you said you wished me to keep early hours! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Nervously.] Do what I tell you. Do what I tell +you. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. And my reward? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Your reward? Your reward? Oh! ask me that to- +morrow. But don't let Windermere out of your sight to-night. If +you do I will never forgive you. I will never speak to you again. +I'll have nothing to do with you. Remember you are to keep +Windermere at your club, and don't let him come back to-night. + +[Exit L.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Well, really, I might be her husband already. +Positively I might. [Follows her in a bewildered manner.] + +ACT DROP. + + + +THIRD ACT + + + +SCENE + +Lord Darlington's Rooms. A large sofa is in front of fireplace R. +At the back of the stage a curtain is drawn across the window. +Doors L. and R. Table R. with writing materials. Table C. with +syphons, glasses, and Tantalus frame. Table L. with cigar and +cigarette box. Lamps lit. + + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Standing by the fireplace.] Why doesn't he +come? This waiting is horrible. He should be here. Why is he not +here, to wake by passionate words some fire within me? I am cold-- +cold as a loveless thing. Arthur must have read my letter by this +time. If he cared for me, he would have come after me, would have +taken me back by force. But he doesn't care. He's entrammelled by +this woman--fascinated by her--dominated by her. If a woman wants +to hold a man, she has merely to appeal to what is worst in him. +We make gods of men and they leave us. Others make brutes of them +and they fawn and are faithful. How hideous life is! . . . Oh! it +was mad of me to come here, horribly mad. And yet, which is the +worst, I wonder, to be at the mercy of a man who loves one, or the +wife of a man who in one's own house dishonours one? What woman +knows? What woman in the whole world? But will he love me always, +this man to whom I am giving my life? What do I bring him? Lips +that have lost the note of joy, eyes that are blinded by tears, +chill hands and icy heart. I bring him nothing. I must go back-- +no; I can't go back, my letter has put me in their power--Arthur +would not take me back! That fatal letter! No! Lord Darlington +leaves England to-morrow. I will go with him--I have no choice. +[Sits down for a few moments. Then starts up and puts on her +cloak.] No, no! I will go back, let Arthur do with me what he +pleases. I can't wait here. It has been madness my coming. I +must go at once. As for Lord Darlington--Oh! here he is! What +shall I do? What can I say to him? Will he let me go away at all? +I have heard that men are brutal, horrible . . . Oh! [Hides her +face in her hands.] + +[Enter MRS. ERLYNNE L.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Lady Windermere! [LADY WINDERMERE starts and looks +up. Then recoils in contempt.] Thank Heaven I am in time. You +must go back to your husband's house immediately. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Must? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Authoritatively.] Yes, you must! There is not a +second to be lost. Lord Darlington may return at any moment. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Don't come near me! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Oh! You are on the brink of ruin, you are on the +brink of a hideous precipice. You must leave this place at once, +my carriage is waiting at the corner of the street. You must come +with me and drive straight home. + +[LADY WINDERMERE throws off her cloak and flings it on the sofa.] + +What are you doing? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Mrs. Erlynne--if you had not come here, I would +have gone back. But now that I see you, I feel that nothing in the +whole world would induce me to live under the same roof as Lord +Windermere. You fill me with horror. There is something about you +that stirs the wildest--rage within me. And I know why you are +here. My husband sent you to lure me back that I might serve as a +blind to whatever relations exist between you and him. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Oh! You don't think that--you can't. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Go back to my husband, Mrs. Erlynne. He belongs +to you and not to me. I suppose he is afraid of a scandal. Men +are such cowards. They outrage every law of the world, and are +afraid of the world's tongue. But he had better prepare himself. +He shall have a scandal. He shall have the worst scandal there has +been in London for years. He shall see his name in every vile +paper, mine on every hideous placard. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. No--no - + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes! he shall. Had he come himself, I admit I +would have gone back to the life of degradation you and he had +prepared for me--I was going back--but to stay himself at home, and +to send you as his messenger--oh! it was infamous--infamous. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [C.] Lady Windermere, you wrong me horribly--you +wrong your husband horribly. He doesn't know you are here--he +thinks you are safe in your own house. He thinks you are asleep in +your own room. He never read the mad letter you wrote to him! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [R.] Never read it! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. No--he knows nothing about it. + +LADY WINDERMERE. How simple you think me! [Going to her.] You +are lying to me! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Restraining herself.] I am not. I am telling you +the truth. + +LADY WINDERMERE. If my husband didn't read my letter, how is it +that you are here? Who told you I had left the house you were +shameless enough to enter? Who told you where I had gone to? My +husband told you, and sent you to decoy me back. [Crosses L.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [R.C.] Your husband has never seen the letter. I-- +saw it, I opened it. I--read it. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Turning to her.] You opened a letter of mine to +my husband? You wouldn't dare! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Dare! Oh! to save you from the abyss into which you +are falling, there is nothing in the world I would not dare, +nothing in the whole world. Here is the letter. Your husband has +never read it. He never shall read it. [Going to fireplace.] It +should never have been written. [Tears it and throws it into the +fire.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. [With infinite contempt in her voice and look.] +How do I know that that was my letter after all? You seem to think +the commonest device can take me in! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Oh! why do you disbelieve everything I tell you? +What object do you think I have in coming here, except to save you +from utter ruin, to save you from the consequence of a hideous +mistake? That letter that is burnt now WAS your letter. I swear +it to you! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Slowly.] You took good care to burn it before I +had examined it. I cannot trust you. You, whose whole life is a +lie, could you speak the truth about anything? [Sits down.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Hurriedly.] Think as you like about me--say what +you choose against me, but go back, go back to the husband you +love. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Sullenly.] I do NOT love him! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. You do, and you know that he loves you. + +LADY WINDERMERE. He does not understand what love is. He +understands it as little as you do--but I see what you want. It +would be a great advantage for you to get me back. Dear Heaven! +what a life I would have then! Living at the mercy of a woman who +has neither mercy nor pity in her, a woman whom it is an infamy to +meet, a degradation to know, a vile woman, a woman who comes +between husband and wife! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [With a gesture of despair.] Lady Windermere, Lady +Windermere, don't say such terrible things. You don't know how +terrible they are, how terrible and how unjust. Listen, you must +listen! Only go back to your husband, and I promise you never to +communicate with him again on any pretext--never to see him--never +to have anything to do with his life or yours. The money that he +gave me, he gave me not through love, but through hatred, not in +worship, but in contempt. The hold I have over him - + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Rising.] Ah! you admit you have a hold! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Yes, and I will tell you what it is. It is his love +for you, Lady Windermere. + +LADY WINDERMERE. You expect me to believe that? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. You must believe it! It is true. It is his love +for you that has made him submit to--oh! call it what you like, +tyranny, threats, anything you choose. But it is his love for you. +His desire to spare you--shame, yes, shame and disgrace. + +LADY WINDERMERE. What do you mean? You are insolent! What have I +to do with you? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Humbly.] Nothing. I know it--but I tell you that +your husband loves you--that you may never meet with such love +again in your whole life--that such love you will never meet--and +that if you throw it away, the day may come when you will starve +for love and it will not be given to you, beg for love and it will +be denied you--Oh! Arthur loves you! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Arthur? And you tell me there is nothing between +you? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Lady Windermere, before Heaven your husband is +guiltless of all offence towards you! And I--I tell you that had +it ever occurred to me that such a monstrous suspicion would have +entered your mind, I would have died rather than have crossed your +life or his--oh! died, gladly died! [Moves away to sofa R.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. You talk as if you had a heart. Women like you +have no hearts. Heart is not in you. You are bought and sold. +[Sits L.C.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Starts, with a gesture of pain. Then restrains +herself, and comes over to where LADY WINDERMERE is sitting. As +she speaks, she stretches out her hands towards her, but does not +dare to touch her.] Believe what you choose about me. I am not +worth a moment's sorrow. But don't spoil your beautiful young life +on my account! You don't know what may be in store for you, unless +you leave this house at once. You don't know what it is to fall +into the pit, to be despised, mocked, abandoned, sneered at--to be +an outcast! to find the door shut against one, to have to creep in +by hideous byways, afraid every moment lest the mask should be +stripped from one's face, and all the while to hear the laughter, +the horrible laughter of the world, a thing more tragic than all +the tears the world has ever shed. You don't know what it is. One +pays for one's sin, and then one pays again, and all one's life one +pays. You must never know that.--As for me, if suffering be an +expiation, then at this moment I have expiated all my faults, +whatever they have been; for to-night you have made a heart in one +who had it not, made it and broken it.--But let that pass. I may +have wrecked my own life, but I will not let you wreck yours. You- +-why, you are a mere girl, you would be lost. You haven't got the +kind of brains that enables a woman to get back. You have neither +the wit nor the courage. You couldn't stand dishonour! No! Go +back, Lady Windermere, to the husband who loves you, whom you love. +You have a child, Lady Windermere. Go back to that child who even +now, in pain or in joy, may be calling to you. [LADY WINDERMERE +rises.] God gave you that child. He will require from you that +you make his life fine, that you watch over him. What answer will +you make to God if his life is ruined through you? Back to your +house, Lady Windermere--your husband loves you! He has never +swerved for a moment from the love he bears you. But even if he +had a thousand loves, you must stay with your child. If he was +harsh to you, you must stay with your child. If he ill-treated +you, you must stay with your child. If he abandoned you, your +place is with your child. + +[LADY WINDERMERE bursts into tears and buries her face in her +hands.] + +[Rushing to her.] Lady Windermere! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Holding out her hands to her, helplessly, as a +child might do.] Take me home. Take me home. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Is about to embrace her. Then restrains herself. +There is a look of wonderful joy in her face.] Come! Where is +your cloak? [Getting it from sofa.] Here. Put it on. Come at +once! + +[They go to the door.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Stop! Don't you hear voices? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. No, no! There was no one! + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes, there is! Listen! Oh! that is my husband's +voice! He is coming in! Save me! Oh, it's some plot! You have +sent for him. + +[Voices outside.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Silence! I'm here to save you, if I can. But I +fear it is too late! There! [Points to the curtain across the +window.] The first chance you have, slip out, if you ever get a +chance! + +LADY WINDERMERE. But you? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Oh! never mind me. I'll face them. + +[LADY WINDERMERE hides herself behind the curtain.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Outside.] Nonsense, dear Windermere, you must not +leave me! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Lord Augustus! Then it is I who am lost! +[Hesitates for a moment, then looks round and sees door R., and +exits through it.] + + [Enter LORD DARLINGTON, MR. DUMBY, LORD WINDERMERE, LORD AUGUSTUS +LORTON, and MR. CECIL GRAHAM. + +DUMBY. What a nuisance their turning us out of the club at this +hour! It's only two o'clock. [Sinks into a chair.] The lively +part of the evening is only just beginning. [Yawns and closes his +eyes.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. It is very good of you, Lord Darlington, allowing +Augustus to force our company on you, but I'm afraid I can't stay +long. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Really! I am so sorry! You'll take a cigar, +won't you? + +LORD WINDERMERE. Thanks! [Sits down.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [To LORD WINDERMERE.] My dear boy, you must not +dream of going. I have a great deal to talk to you about, of +demmed importance, too. [Sits down with him at L. table.] + +CECIL GRAHAM. Oh! We all know what that is! Tuppy can't talk +about anything but Mrs. Erlynne. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Well, that is no business of yours, is it, Cecil? + +CECIL GRAHAM. None! That is why it interests me. My own business +always bores me to death. I prefer other people's. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Have something to drink, you fellows. Cecil, +you'll have a whisky and soda? + +CECIL GRAHAM. Thanks. [Goes to table with LORD DARLINGTON.] Mrs. +Erlynne looked very handsome to-night, didn't she? + +LORD DARLINGTON. I am not one of her admirers. + +CECIL GRAHAM. I usen't to be, but I am now. Why! she actually +made me introduce her to poor dear Aunt Caroline. I believe she is +going to lunch there. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [In Purple.] No? + +CECIL GRAHAM. She is, really. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Excuse me, you fellows. I'm going away to- +morrow. And I have to write a few letters. [Goes to writing table +and sits down.] + +DUMBY. Clever woman, Mrs. Erlynne. + +CECIL GRAHAM. Hallo, Dumby! I thought you were asleep. + +DUMBY. I am, I usually am! + +LORD AUGUSTUS. A very clever woman. Knows perfectly well what a +demmed fool I am--knows it as well as I do myself. + +[CECIL GRAHAM comes towards him laughing.] + +Ah, you may laugh, my boy, but it is a great thing to come across a +woman who thoroughly understands one. + +DUMBY. It is an awfully dangerous thing. They always end by +marrying one. + +CECIL GRAHAM. But I thought, Tuppy, you were never going to see +her again! Yes! you told me so yesterday evening at the club. You +said you'd heard - + +[Whispering to him.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Oh, she's explained that. + +CECIL GRAHAM. And the Wiesbaden affair? + +LORD AUGUSTUS. She's explained that too. + +DUMBY. And her income, Tuppy? Has she explained that? + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [In a very serious voice.] She's going to explain +that to-morrow. + +[CECIL GRAHAM goes back to C. table.] + +DUMBY. Awfully commercial, women nowadays. Our grandmothers threw +their caps over the mills, of course, but, by Jove, their +granddaughters only throw their caps over mills that can raise the +wind for them. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. You want to make her out a wicked woman. She is +not! + +CECIL GRAHAM. Oh! Wicked women bother one. Good women bore one. +That is the only difference between them. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Puffing a cigar.] Mrs. Erlynne has a future +before her. + +DUMBY. Mrs. Erlynne has a past before her. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. I prefer women with a past. They're always so +demmed amusing to talk to. + +CECIL GRAHAM. Well, you'll have lots of topics of conversation +with HER, Tuppy. [Rising and going to him.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. You're getting annoying, dear-boy; you're getting +demmed annoying. + +CECIL GRAHAM. [Puts his hands on his shoulders.] Now, Tuppy, +you've lost your figure and you've lost your character. Don't lose +your temper; you have only got one. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. My dear boy, if I wasn't the most good-natured man +in London - + +CECIL GRAHAM. We'd treat you with more respect, wouldn't we, +Tuppy? [Strolls away.] + +DUMBY. The youth of the present day are quite monstrous. They +have absolutely no respect for dyed hair. [LORD AUGUSTUS looks +round angrily.] + +CECIL GRAHAM. Mrs. Erlynne has a very great respect for dear +Tuppy. + +DUMBY. Then Mrs. Erlynne sets an admirable example to the rest of +her sex. It is perfectly brutal the way most women nowadays behave +to men who are not their husbands. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Dumby, you are ridiculous, and Cecil, you let +your tongue run away with you. You must leave Mrs. Erlynne alone. +You don't really know anything about her, and you're always talking +scandal against her. + +CECIL GRAHAM. [Coming towards him L.C.] My dear Arthur, I never +talk scandal. _I_ only talk gossip. + +LORD WINDERMERE. What is the difference between scandal and +gossip? + +CECIL GRAHAM. Oh! gossip is charming! History is merely gossip. +But scandal is gossip made tedious by morality. Now, I never +moralise. A man who moralises is usually a hypocrite, and a woman +who moralises is invariably plain. There is nothing in the whole +world so unbecoming to a woman as a Nonconformist conscience. And +most women know it, I'm glad to say. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Just my sentiments, dear boy, just my sentiments. + +CECIL GRAHAM. Sorry to hear it, Tuppy; whenever people agree with +me, I always feel I must be wrong. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. My dear boy, when I was your age - + +CECIL GRAHAM. But you never were, Tuppy, and you never will be. +[Goes up C.] I say, Darlington, let us have some cards. You'll +play, Arthur, won't you? + +LORD WINDERMERE. No, thanks, Cecil. + +DUMBY. [With a sigh.] Good heavens! how marriage ruins a man! +It's as demoralising as cigarettes, and far more expensive. + +CECIL GRAHAM. You'll play, of course, Tuppy? + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Pouring himself out a brandy and soda at table.] +Can't, dear boy. Promised Mrs. Erlynne never to play or drink +again. + +CECIL GRAHAM. Now, my dear Tuppy, don't be led astray into the +paths of virtue. Reformed, you would be perfectly tedious. That +is the worst of women. They always want one to be good. And if we +are good, when they meet us, they don't love us at all. They like +to find us quite irretrievably bad, and to leave us quite +unattractively good. + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Rising from R. table, where he has been writing +letters.] They always do find us bad! + +DUMBY. I don't think we are bad. I think we are all good, except +Tuppy. + +LORD DARLINGTON. No, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are +looking at the stars. [Sits down at C. table.] + +DUMBY. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the +stars? Upon my word, you are very romantic to-night, Darlington. + +CECIL GRAHAM. Too romantic! You must be in love. Who is the +girl? + +LORD DARLINGTON. The woman I love is not free, or thinks she +isn't. [Glances instinctively at LORD WINDERMERE while he speaks.] + +CECIL GRAHAM. A married woman, then! Well, there's nothing in the +world like the devotion of a married woman. It's a thing no +married man knows anything about. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Oh! she doesn't love me. She is a good woman. +She is the only good woman I have ever met in my life. + +CECIL GRAHAM. The only good woman you have ever met in your life? + +LORD DARLINGTON. Yes! + +CECIL GRAHAM. [Lighting a cigarette.] Well, you are a lucky +fellow! Why, I have met hundreds of good women. I never seem to +meet any but good women. The world is perfectly packed with good +women. To know them is a middle-class education. + +LORD DARLINGTON. This woman has purity and innocence. She has +everything we men have lost. + +CECIL GRAHAM. My dear fellow, what on earth should we men do going +about with purity and innocence? A carefully thought-out +buttonhole is much more effective. + +DUMBY. She doesn't really love you then? + +LORD DARLINGTON. No, she does not! + +DUMBY. I congratulate you, my dear fellow. In this world there +are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the +other is getting it. The last is much the worst; the last is a +real tragedy! But I am interested to hear she does not love you. +How long could you love a woman who didn't love you, Cecil? + +CECIL GRAHAM. A woman who didn't love me? Oh, all my life! + +DUMBY. So could I. But it's so difficult to meet one. + +LORD DARLINGTON. How can you be so conceited, DUMBY? + +DUMBY. I didn't say it as a matter of conceit. I said it as a +matter of regret. I have been wildly, madly adored. I am sorry I +have. It has been an immense nuisance. I should like to be +allowed a little time to myself now and then. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Looking round.] Time to educate yourself, I +suppose. + +DUMBY. No, time to forget all I have learned. That is much more +important, dear Tuppy. [LORD AUGUSTUS moves uneasily in his +chair.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. What cynics you fellows are! + +CECIL GRAHAM. What is a cynic? [Sitting on the back of the sofa.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. A man who knows the price of everything and the +value of nothing. + +CECIL GRAHAM. And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a man +who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn't know the market +price of any single thing. + +LORD DARLINGTON. You always amuse me, Cecil. You talk as if you +were a man of experience. + +CECIL GRAHAM. I am. [Moves up to front off fireplace.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. You are far too young! + +CECIL GRAHAM. That is a great error. Experience is a question of +instinct about life. I have got it. Tuppy hasn't. Experience is +the name Tuppy gives to his mistakes. That is all. [LORD AUGUSTUS +looks round indignantly.] + +DUMBY. Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. + +CECIL GRAHAM. [Standing with his back to the fireplace.] One +shouldn't commit any. [Sees LADY WINDERMERE'S fan on sofa.] + +DUMBY. Life would be very dull without them. + +CECIL GRAHAM. Of course you are quite faithful to this woman you +are in love with, Darlington, to this good woman? + +LORD DARLINGTON. Cecil, if on really loves a woman, all other +women in the world become absolutely meaningless to one. Love +changes one--_I_ am changed. + +CECIL GRAHAM. Dear me! How very interesting! Tuppy, I want to +talk to you. [LORD AUGUSTUS takes no notice.] + +DUMBY. It's no use talking to Tuppy. You might just as well talk +to a brick wall. + +CECIL GRAHAM. But I like talking to a brick wall--it's the only +thing in the world that never contradicts me! Tuppy! + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Well, what is it? What is it? [Rising and going +over to CECIL GRAHAM.] + +CECIL GRAHAM. Come over here. I want you particularly. [Aside.] +Darlington has been moralising and talking about the purity of +love, and that sort of thing, and he has got some woman in his +rooms all the time. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. No, really! really! + +CECIL GRAHAM. [In a low voice.] Yes, here is her fan. [Points to +the fan.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Chuckling.] By Jove! By Jove! + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Up by door.] I am really off now, Lord +Darlington. I am sorry you are leaving England so soon. Pray call +on us when you come back! My wife and I will be charmed to see +you! + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Up sage with LORD WINDERMERE.] I am afraid I +shall be away for many years. Good-night! + +CECIL GRAHAM. Arthur! + +LORD WINDERMERE. What? + +CECIL GRAHAM. I want to speak to you for a moment. No, do come! + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Putting on his coat.] I can't--I'm off! + +CECIL GRAHAM. It is something very particular. It will interest +you enormously. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Smiling.] It is some of your nonsense, Cecil. + +CECIL GRAHAM. It isn't! It isn't really. + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Going to him.] My dear fellow, you mustn't go +yet. I have a lot to talk to you about. And Cecil has something +to show you. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Walking over.] Well, what is it? + +CECIL GRAHAM. Darlington has got a woman here in his rooms. Here +is her fan. Amusing, isn't it? [A pause.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Good God! [Seizes the fan--DUMBY rises.] + +CECIL GRAHAM. What is the matter? + +LORD WINDERMERE. Lord Darlington! + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Turning round.] Yes! + +LORD WINDERMERE. What is my wife's fan doing here in your rooms? +Hands off, Cecil. Don't touch me. + +LORD DARLINGTON. Your wife's fan? + +LORD WINDERMERE. Yes, here it is! + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Walking towards him.] I don't know! + +LORD WINDERMERE. You must know. I demand an explanation. Don't +hold me, you fool. [To CECIL GRAHAM.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. [Aside.] She is here after all! + +LORD WINDERMERE. Speak, sir! Why is my wife's fan here? Answer +me! By God! I'll search your rooms, and if my wife's here, I'll-- +[Moves.] + +LORD DARLINGTON. You shall not search my rooms. You have no right +to do so. I forbid you! + +LORD WINDERMERE. You scoundrel! I'll not leave your room till I +have searched every corner of it! What moves behind that curtain? +[Rushes towards the curtain C.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Enters behind R.] Lord Windermere! + +LORD WINDERMERE. Mrs. Erlynne! + +[Every one starts and turns round. LADY WINDERMERE slips out from +behind the curtain and glides from the room L.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. I am afraid I took your wife's fan in mistake for my +own, when I was leaving your house to-night. I am so sorry. +[Takes fan from him. LORD WINDERMERE looks at her in contempt. +LORD DARLINGTON in mingled astonishment and anger. LORD AUGUSTUS +turns away. The other men smile at each other.] + +ACT DROP. + + + +FOURTH ACT + + + +SCENE--Same as in Act I. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Lying on sofa.] How can I tell him? I can't +tell him. It would kill me. I wonder what happened after I +escaped from that horrible room. Perhaps she told them the true +reason of her being there, and the real meaning of that--fatal fan +of mine. Oh, if he knows--how can I look him in the face again? +He would never forgive me. [Touches bell.] How securely one +thinks one lives--out of reach of temptation, sin, folly. And then +suddenly--Oh! Life is terrible. It rules us, we do not rule it. + +[Enter ROSALIE R.] + +ROSALIE. Did your ladyship ring for me? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes. Have you found out at what time Lord +Windermere came in last night? + +ROSALIE. His lordship did not come in till five o'clock. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Five o'clock? He knocked at my door this +morning, didn't he? + +ROSALIE. Yes, my lady--at half-past nine. I told him your +ladyship was not awake yet. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Did he say anything? + +ROSALIE. Something about your ladyship's fan. I didn't quite +catch what his lordship said. Has the fan been lost, my lady? I +can't find it, and Parker says it was not left in any of the rooms. +He has looked in all of them and on the terrace as well. + +LADY WINDERMERE. It doesn't matter. Tell Parker not to trouble. +That will do. + +[Exit ROSALIE.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Rising.] She is sure to tell him. I can fancy +a person doing a wonderful act of self-sacrifice, doing it +spontaneously, recklessly, nobly--and afterwards finding out that +it costs too much. Why should she hesitate between her ruin and +mine? . . . How strange! I would have publicly disgraced her in my +own house. She accepts public disgrace in the house of another to +save me. . . . There is a bitter irony in things, a bitter irony in +the way we talk of good and bad women. . . . Oh, what a lesson! and +what a pity that in life we only get our lessons when they are of +no use to us! For even if she doesn't tell, I must. Oh! the shame +of it, the shame of it. To tell it is to live through it all +again. Actions are the first tragedy in life, words are the +second. Words are perhaps the worst. Words are merciless. . . Oh! +[Starts as LORD WINDERMERE enters.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Kisses her.] Margaret--how pale you look! + +LADY WINDERMERE. I slept very badly. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Sitting on sofa with her.] I am so sorry. I +came in dreadfully late, and didn't like to wake you. You are +crying, dear. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes, I am crying, for I have something to tell +you, Arthur. + +LORD WINDERMERE. My dear child, you are not well. You've been +doing too much. Let us go away to the country. You'll be all +right at Selby. The season is almost over. There is no use +staying on. Poor darling! We'll go away to-day, if you like. +[Rises.] We can easily catch the 3.40. I'll send a wire to +Fannen. [Crosses and sits down at table to write a telegram.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes; let us go away to-day. No; I can't go to- +day, Arthur. There is some one I must see before I leave town-- +some one who has been kind to me. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Rising and leaning over sofa.] Kind to you? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Far more than that. [Rises and goes to him.] I +will tell you, Arthur, but only love me, love me as you used to +love me. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Used to? You are not thinking of that wretched +woman who came here last night? [Coming round and sitting R. of +her.] You don't still imagine--no, you couldn't. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I don't. I know now I was wrong and foolish. + +LORD WINDERMERE. It was very good of you to receive her last +night--but you are never to see her again. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Why do you say that? [A pause.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Holding her hand.] Margaret, I thought Mrs. +Erlynne was a woman more sinned against than sinning, as the phrase +goes. I thought she wanted to be good, to get back into a place +that she had lost by a moment's folly, to lead again a decent life. +I believed what she told me--I was mistaken in her. She is bad--as +bad as a woman can be. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Arthur, Arthur, don't talk so bitterly about any +woman. I don't think now that people can be divided into the good +and the bad as though they were two separate races or creations. +What are called good women may have terrible things in them, mad +moods of recklessness, assertion, jealousy, sin. Bad women, as +they are termed, may have in them sorrow, repentance, pity, +sacrifice. And I don't think Mrs. Erlynne a bad woman--I know +she's not. + +LORD WINDERMERE. My dear child, the woman's impossible. No matter +what harm she tries to do us, you must never see her again. She is +inadmissible anywhere. + +LADY WINDERMERE. But I want to see her. I want her to come here. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Never! + +LADY WINDERMERE. She came here once as YOUR guest. She must come +now as MINE. That is but fair. + +LORD WINDERMERE. She should never have come here. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Rising.] It is too late, Arthur, to say that +now. [Moves away.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Rising.] Margaret, if you knew where Mrs. +Erlynne went last night, after she left this house, you would not +sit in the same room with her. It was absolutely shameless, the +whole thing. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Arthur, I can't bear it any longer. I must tell +you. Last night - + +[Enter PARKER with a tray on which lie LADY WINDERMERE'S fan and a +card.] + +PARKER. Mrs. Erlynne has called to return your ladyship's fan +which she took away by mistake last night. Mrs. Erlynne has +written a message on the card. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Oh, ask Mrs. Erlynne to be kind enough to come +up. [Reads card.] Say I shall be very glad to see her. [Exit +PARKER.] She wants to see me, Arthur. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Takes card and looks at it.] Margaret, I BEG +you not to. Let me see her first, at any rate. She's a very +dangerous woman. She is the most dangerous woman I know. You +don't realise what you're doing. + +LADY WINDERMERE. It is right that I should see her. + +LORD WINDERMERE. My child, you may be on the brink of a great +sorrow. Don't go to meet it. It is absolutely necessary that I +should see her before you do. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Why should it be necessary? + +[Enter PARKER.] + +PARKER. Mrs. Erlynne. + +[Enter MRS. ERLYNNE.] + +[Exit PARKER.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. How do you do, Lady Windermere? [To LORD +WINDERMERE.] How do you do? Do you know, Lady Windermere, I am so +sorry about your fan. I can't imagine how I made such a silly +mistake. Most stupid of me. And as I was driving in your +direction, I thought I would take the opportunity of returning your +property in person with many apologies for my carelessness, and of +bidding you good-bye. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Good-bye? [Moves towards sofa with MRS. ERLYNNE +and sits down beside her.] Are you going away, then, Mrs. Erlynne? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Yes; I am going to live abroad again. The English +climate doesn't suit me. My--heart is affected here, and that I +don't like. I prefer living in the south. London is too full of +fogs and--and serious people, Lord Windermere. Whether the fogs +produce the serious people or whether the serious people produce +the fogs, I don't know, but the whole thing rather gets on my +nerves, and so I'm leaving this afternoon by the Club Train. + +LADY WINDERMERE. This afternoon? But I wanted so much to come and +see you. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. How kind of you! But I am afraid I have to go. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Shall I never see you again, Mrs. Erlynne? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. I am afraid not. Our lives lie too far apart. But +there is a little thing I would like you to do for me. I want a +photograph of you, Lady Windermere--would you give me one? You +don't know how gratified I should be. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Oh, with pleasure. There is one on that table. +I'll show it to you. [Goes across to the table.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Coming up to MRS. ERLYNNE and speaking in a low +voice.] It is monstrous your intruding yourself here after your +conduct last night. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [With an amused smile.] My dear Windermere, manners +before morals! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Returning.] I'm afraid it is very flattering--I +am not so pretty as that. [Showing photograph.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. You are much prettier. But haven't you got one of +yourself with your little boy? + +LADY WINDERMERE. I have. Would you prefer one of those? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Yes. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I'll go and get it for you, if you'll excuse me +for a moment. I have one upstairs. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. So sorry, Lady Windermere, to give you so much +trouble. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Moves to door R.] No trouble at all, Mrs. +Erlynne. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Thanks so much. + +[Exit LADY WINDERMERE R.] You seem rather out of temper this +morning, Windermere. Why should you be? Margaret and I get on +charmingly together. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I can't bear to see you with her. Besides, you +have not told me the truth, Mrs. Erlynne. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. I have not told HER the truth, you mean. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Standing C.] I sometimes wish you had. I +should have been spared then the misery, the anxiety, the annoyance +of the last six months. But rather than my wife should know--that +the mother whom she was taught to consider as dead, the mother whom +she has mourned as dead, is living--a divorced woman, going about +under an assumed name, a bad woman preying upon life, as I know you +now to be--rather than that, I was ready to supply you with money +to pay bill after bill, extravagance after extravagance, to risk +what occurred yesterday, the first quarrel I have ever had with my +wife. You don't understand what that means to me. How could you? +But I tell you that the only bitter words that ever came from those +sweet lips of hers were on your account, and I hate to see you next +her. You sully the innocence that is in her. [Moves L.C.] And +then I used to think that with all your faults you were frank and +honest. You are not. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Why do you say that? + +LORD WINDERMERE. You made me get you an invitation to my wife's +ball. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. For my daughter's ball--yes. + +LORD WINDERMERE. You came, and within an hour of your leaving the +house you are found in a man's rooms--you are disgraced before +every one. [Goes up stage C.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Yes. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Turning round on her.] Therefore I have a right +to look upon you as what you are--a worthless, vicious woman. I +have the right to tell you never to enter this house, never to +attempt to come near my wife - + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Coldly.] My daughter, you mean. + +LORD WINDERMERE. You have no right to claim her as your daughter. +You left her, abandoned her when she was but a child in the cradle, +abandoned her for your lover, who abandoned you in turn. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Rising.] Do you count that to his credit, Lord +Windermere--or to mine? + +LORD WINDERMERE. To his, now that I know you. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Take care--you had better be careful. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Oh, I am not going to mince words for you. I +know you thoroughly. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Looks steadily at him.] I question that. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I DO know you. For twenty years of your life you +lived without your child, without a thought of your child. One day +you read in the papers that she had married a rich man. You saw +your hideous chance. You knew that to spare her the ignominy of +learning that a woman like you was her mother, I would endure +anything. You began your blackmailing, + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Shrugging her shoulders.] Don't use ugly words, +Windermere. They are vulgar. I saw my chance, it is true, and +took it. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Yes, you took it--and spoiled it all last night +by being found out. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [With a strange smile.] You are quite right, I +spoiled it all last night. + +LORD WINDERMERE. And as for your blunder in taking my wife's fan +from here and then leaving it about in Darlington's rooms, it is +unpardonable. I can't bear the sight of it now. I shall never let +my wife use it again. The thing is soiled for me. You should have +kept it and not brought it back. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. I think I shall keep it. [Goes up.] It's extremely +pretty. [Takes up fan.] I shall ask Margaret to give it to me. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I hope my wife will give it you. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Oh, I'm sure she will have no objection. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I wish that at the same time she would give you a +miniature she kisses every night before she prays--It's the +miniature of a young innocent-looking girl with beautiful DARK +hair. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Ah, yes, I remember. How long ago that seems! +[Goes to sofa and sits down.] It was done before I was married. +Dark hair and an innocent expression were the fashion then, +Windermere! [A pause.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. What do you mean by coming here this morning? +What is your object? [Crossing L.C. and sitting.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [With a note of irony in her voice.] To bid good- +bye to my dear daughter, of course. [LORD WINDERMERE bites his +under lip in anger. MRS. ERLYNNE looks at him, and her voice and +manner become serious. In her accents at she talks there is a note +of deep tragedy. For a moment she reveals herself.] Oh, don't +imagine I am going to have a pathetic scene with her, weep on her +neck and tell her who I am, and all that kind of thing. I have no +ambition to play the part of a mother. Only once in my life like I +known a mother's feelings. That was last night. They were +terrible--they made me suffer--they made me suffer too much. For +twenty years, as you say, I have lived childless,--I want to live +childless still. [Hiding her feelings with a trivial laugh.] +Besides, my dear Windermere, how on earth could I pose as a mother +with a grown-up daughter? Margaret is twenty-one, and I have never +admitted that I am more than twenty-nine, or thirty at the most. +Twenty-nine when there are pink shades, thirty when there are not. +So you see what difficulties it would involve. No, as far as I am +concerned, let your wife cherish the memory of this dead, stainless +mother. Why should I interfere with her illusions? I find it hard +enough to keep my own. I lost one illusion last night. I thought +I had no heart. I find I have, and a heart doesn't suit me, +Windermere. Somehow it doesn't go with modern dress. It makes one +look old. [Takes up hand-mirror from table and looks into it.] +And it spoils one's career at critical moments. + +LORD WINDERMERE. You fill me with horror--with absolute horror. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Rising.] I suppose, Windermere, you would like me +to retire into a convent, or become a hospital nurse, or something +of that kind, as people do in silly modern novels. That is stupid +of you, Arthur; in real life we don't do such things--not as long +as we have any good looks left, at any rate. No--what consoles one +nowadays is not repentance, but pleasure. Repentance is quite out +of date. And besides, if a woman really repents, she has to go to +a bad dressmaker, otherwise no one believes in her. And nothing in +the world would induce me to do that. No; I am going to pass +entirely out of your two lives. My coming into them has been a +mistake--I discovered that last night. + +LORD WINDERMERE. A fatal mistake. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Smiling.] Almost fatal. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I am sorry now I did not tell my wife the whole +thing at once. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. I regret my bad actions. You regret your good ones- +-that is the difference between us. + +LORD WINDERMERE. I don't trust you. I WILL tell my wife. It's +better for her to know, and from me. It will cause her infinite +pain--it will humiliate her terribly, but it's right that she +should know. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. You propose to tell her? + +LORD WINDERMERE. I am going to tell her. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Going up to him.] If you do, I will make my name +so infamous that it will mar every moment of her life. It will +ruin her, and make her wretched. If you dare to tell her, there is +no depth of degradation I will not sink to, no pit of shame I will +not enter. You shall not tell her--I forbid you. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Why? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [After a pause.] If I said to you that I cared for +her, perhaps loved her even--you would sneer at me, wouldn't you? + +LORD WINDERMERE. I should feel it was not true. A mother's love +means devotion, unselfishness, sacrifice. What could you know of +such things? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. You are right. What could I know of such things? +Don't let us talk any more about it--as for telling my daughter who +I am, that I do not allow. It is my secret, it is not yours. If I +make up my mind to tell her, and I think I will, I shall tell her +before I leave the house--if not, I shall never tell her. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Angrily.] Then let me beg of you to leave our +house at once. I will make your excuses to Margaret. + +[Enter LADY WINDERMERE R. She goes over to MRS. ERLYNNE with the +photograph in her hand. LORD WINDERMERE moves to back of sofa, and +anxiously watches MRS. ERLYNNE as the scene progresses.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. I am so sorry, Mrs. Erlynne, to have kept you +waiting. I couldn't find the photograph anywhere. At last I +discovered it in my husband's dressing-room--he had stolen it. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Takes the photograph from her and looks at it.] I +am not surprised--it is charming. [Goes over to sofa with LADY +WINDERMERE, and sits down beside her. Looks again at the +photograph.] And so that is your little boy! What is he called? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Gerard, after my dear father. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Laying the photograph down.] Really? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes. If it had been a girl, I would have called +it after my mother. My mother had the same name as myself, +Margaret. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. My name is Margaret too. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Indeed! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Yes. [Pause.] You are devoted to your mother's +memory, Lady Windermere, your husband tells me. + +LADY WINDERMERE. We all have ideals in life. At least we all +should have. Mine is my mother. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Ideals are dangerous things. Realities are better. +They wound, but they're better. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Shaking her head.] If I lost my ideals, I +should lose everything. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Everything? + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes. [Pause.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Did your father often speak to you of your mother? + +LADY WINDERMERE. No, it gave him too much pain. He told me how my +mother had died a few months after I was born. His eyes filled +with tears as he spoke. Then he begged me never to mention her +name to him again. It made him suffer even to hear it. My father- +-my father really died of a broken heart. His was the most ruined +life know, + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Rising.] I am afraid I must go now, Lady +Windermere. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Rising.] Oh no, don't. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. I think I had better. My carriage must have come +back by this time. I sent it to Lady Jedburgh's with a note. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Arthur, would you mind seeing if Mrs. Erlynne's +carriage has come back? + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Pray don't trouble, Lord Windermere. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Yes, Arthur, do go, please. + +[LORD WINDERMERE hesitated for a moment and looks at MRS. ERLYNNE. +She remains quite impassive. He leaves the room.] + +[To MRS. ERLYNNE.] Oh! What am I to say to you? You saved me +last night? [Goes towards her.] + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Hush--don't speak of it. + +LADY WINDERMERE. I must speak of it. I can't let you think that I +am going to accept this sacrifice. I am not. It is too great. I +am going to tell my husband everything. It is my duty. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. It is not your duty--at least you have duties to +others besides him. You say you owe me something? + +LADY WINDERMERE. I owe you everything. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Then pay your debt by silence. That is the only way +in which it can be paid. Don't spoil the one good thing I have +done in my life by telling it to any one. Promise me that what +passed last night will remain a secret between us. You must not +bring misery into your husband's life. Why spoil his love? You +must not spoil it. Love is easily killed. Oh! how easily love is +killed. Pledge me your word, Lady Windermere, that you will never +tell him. I insist upon it. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [With bowed head.] It is your will, not mine. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Yes, it is my will. And never forget your child--I +like to think of you as a mother. I like you to think of yourself +as one. + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Looking up.] I always will now. Only once in +my life I have forgotten my own mother--that was last night. Oh, +if I had remembered her I should not have been so foolish, so +wicked. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [With a slight shudder.] Hush, last night is quite +over. + +[Enter LORD WINDERMERE.] + +LORD WINDERMERE. Your carriage has not come back yet, Mrs. +Erlynne. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. It makes no matter. I'll take a hansom. There is +nothing in the world so respectable as a good Shrewsbury and +Talbot. And now, dear Lady Windermere, I am afraid it is really +good-bye. [Moves up C.] Oh, I remember. You'll think me absurd, +but do you know I've taken a great fancy to this fan that I was +silly enough to run away with last night from your ball. Now, I +wonder would you give it to me? Lord Windermere says you may. I +know it is his present. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Oh, certainly, if it will give you any pleasure. +But it has my name on it. It has 'Margaret' on it. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. But we have the same Christian name. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Oh, I forgot. Of course, do have it. What a +wonderful chance our names being the same! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. Quite wonderful. Thanks--it will always remind me +of you. [Shakes hands with her.] + +[Enter PARKER.] + +PARKER. Lord Augustus Lorton. Mrs. Erlynne's carriage has come. + +[Enter LORD AUGUSTUS.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Good morning, dear boy. Good morning, Lady +Windermere. [Sees MRS. ERLYNNE.] Mrs. Erlynne! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. How do you do, Lord Augustus? Are you quite well +this morning? + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Coldly.] Quite well, thank you, Mrs. Erlynne. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. You don't look at all well, Lord Augustus. You stop +up too late--it is so bad for you. You really should take more +care of yourself. Good-bye, Lord Windermere. [Goes towards door +with a bow to LORD AUGUSTUS. Suddenly smiles and looks back at +him.] Lord Augustus! Won't you see me to my carriage? You might +carry the fan. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Allow me! + +MRS. ERLYNNE. No; I want Lord Augustus. I have a special message +for the dear Duchess. Won't you carry the fan, Lord Augustus? + +LORD AUGUSTUS. If you really desire it, Mrs. Erlynne. + +MRS. ERLYNNE. [Laughing.] Of course I do. You'll carry it so +gracefully. You would carry off anything gracefully, dear Lord +Augustus. + +[When she reaches the door she looks back for a moment at LADY +WINDERMERE. Their eyes meet. Then she turns, and exit C. followed +by LORD AUGUSTUS.] + +LADY WINDERMERE. You will never speak against Mrs. Erlynne again, +Arthur, will you? + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Gravely.] She is better than one thought her. + +LADY WINDERMERE. She is better than I am. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Smiling as he strokes her hair.] Child, you and +she belong to different worlds. Into your world evil has never +entered. + +LADY WINDERMERE. Don't say that, Arthur. There is the same world +for all of us, and good and evil, sin and innocence, go through it +hand in hand. To shut one's eyes to half of life that one may live +securely is as though one blinded oneself that one might walk with +more safety in a land of pit and precipice. + +LORD WINDERMERE. [Moves down with her.] Darling, why do you say +that? + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Sits on sofa.] Because I, who had shut my eyes +to life, came to the brink. And one who had separated us - + +LORD WINDERMERE. We were never separated. + +LADY WINDERMERE. We never must be again. O Arthur, don't love me +less, and I will trust you more. I will trust you absolutely. Let +us go to Selby. In the Rose Garden at Selby the roses are white +and red. + +[Enter LORD AUGUSTUS C.] + +LORD AUGUSTUS. Arthur, she has explained everything! + +[LADY WINDERMERE looks horribly frightened at this. LORD +WINDERMERE starts. LORD AUGUSTUS takes WINDERMERE by the arm and +brings him to front of stage. He talks rapidly and in a low voice. +LADY WINDERMERE stands watching them in terror.] My dear fellow, +she has explained every demmed thing. We all wronged her +immensely. It was entirely for my sake she went to Darlington's +rooms. Called first at the Club--fact is, wanted to put me out of +suspense--and being told I had gone on--followed--naturally +frightened when she heard a lot of us coming in--retired to another +room--I assure you, most gratifying to me, the whole thing. We all +behaved brutally to her. She is just the woman for me. Suits me +down to the ground. All the conditions she makes are that we live +entirely out of England. A very good thing too. Demmed clubs, +demmed climate, demmed cooks, demmed everything. Sick of it all! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Frightened.] Has Mrs. Erlynne--? + +LORD AUGUSTUS. [Advancing towards her with a low bow.] Yes, Lady +Windermere-- Mrs. Erlynne has done me the honour of accepting my +hand. + +LORD WINDERMERE. Well, you are certainly marrying a very clever +woman! + +LADY WINDERMERE. [Taking her husband's hand.] Ah, you're marrying +a very good woman! + +CURTAIN + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN *** + +This file should be named lwfan10.txt or lwfan10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, lwfan11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, lwfan10a.txt + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance +of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing. +Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections, +even years after the official publication date. + +Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til +midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. +The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at +Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A +preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment +and editing by those who wish to do so. + +Most people start at our Web sites at: +http://gutenberg.net or +http://promo.net/pg + +These Web sites include award-winning information about Project +Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new +eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!). + + +Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement +can get to them as follows, and just download by date. This is +also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the +indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an +announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter. + +http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext04 or +ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext04 + +Or /etext03, 02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90 + +Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want, +as it appears in our Newsletters. + + +Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) + +We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The +time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours +to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright +searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. Our +projected audience is one hundred million readers. If the value +per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 +million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text +files per month: 1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+ +We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002 +If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total +will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end. + +The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks! +This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, +which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users. + +Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated): + +eBooks Year Month + + 1 1971 July + 10 1991 January + 100 1994 January + 1000 1997 August + 1500 1998 October + 2000 1999 December + 2500 2000 December + 3000 2001 November + 4000 2001 October/November + 6000 2002 December* + 9000 2003 November* +10000 2004 January* + + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created +to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people +and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, +Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, +Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, +Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New +Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, +Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South +Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West +Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. + +We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones +that have responded. + +As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list +will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states. +Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state. + +In answer to various questions we have received on this: + +We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally +request donations in all 50 states. If your state is not listed and +you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have, +just ask. + +While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are +not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting +donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to +donate. + +International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about +how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made +deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are +ways. + +Donations by check or money order may be sent to: + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +PMB 113 +1739 University Ave. +Oxford, MS 38655-4109 + +Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment +method other than by check or money order. + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by +the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN +[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154. Donations are +tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law. As fund-raising +requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be +made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +You can get up to date donation information online at: + +http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html + + +*** + +If you can't reach Project Gutenberg, +you can always email directly to: + +Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com> + +Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message. + +We would prefer to send you information by email. + + +**The Legal Small Print** + + +(Three Pages) + +***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START*** +Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. +They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with +your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from +someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our +fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement +disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how +you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to. + +*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK +By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept +this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive +a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by +sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person +you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical +medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. + +ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS +This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks, +is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart +through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project"). +Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright +on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and +distribute it in the United States without permission and +without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth +below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook +under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. + +Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market +any commercial products without permission. + +To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable +efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain +works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any +medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other +things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other +intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged +disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer +codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. + +LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES +But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, +[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may +receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims +all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including +legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR +UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, +INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE +OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE +POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. + +If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of +receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) +you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that +time to the person you received it from. If you received it +on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and +such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement +copy. If you received it electronically, such person may +choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to +receive it electronically. + +THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS +TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT +LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A +PARTICULAR PURPOSE. + +Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or +the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the +above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you +may have other legal rights. + +INDEMNITY +You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation, +and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated +with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm +texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including +legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the +following that you do or cause: [1] distribution of this eBook, +[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook, +or [3] any Defect. + +DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" +You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by +disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this +"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, +or: + +[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this + requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the + eBook or this "small print!" statement. You may however, + if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable + binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, + including any form resulting from conversion by word + processing or hypertext software, but only so long as + *EITHER*: + + [*] The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and + does *not* contain characters other than those + intended by the author of the work, although tilde + (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may + be used to convey punctuation intended by the + author, and additional characters may be used to + indicate hypertext links; OR + + [*] The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at + no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent + form by the program that displays the eBook (as is + the case, for instance, with most word processors); + OR + + [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at + no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the + eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC + or other equivalent proprietary form). + +[2] Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this + "Small Print!" statement. + +[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the + gross profits you derive calculated using the method you + already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation" + the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were + legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent + periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to + let us know your plans and to work out the details. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of +public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed +in machine readable form. + +The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time, +public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses. +Money should be paid to the: +"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or +software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at: +hart@pobox.com + +[Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only +when distributed free of all fees. Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by +Michael S. Hart. Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be +used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be +they hardware or software or any other related product without +express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END* + |