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+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html lang="en">
+<head>
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+ <title>
+ Orthodoxy | Project Gutenberg
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+</head>
+
+<body>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78965 ***</div>
+
+
+<figure class="figcenter illowp45" style="max-width: 100.0em;" id="cover">
+ <img alt="" class="w100" src="images/cover.jpg" id="img_images_cover.jpg">
+</figure>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</span></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+ <h1 class="nobreak title" id="ORTHODOXY">
+<span class="smcap">
+Orthodoxy</span></h1>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</span></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+</div>
+
+<div class="bbox"><br><i>BY THE SAME AUTHOR</i>
+<br><br>
+ ORTHODOXY<br>
+ THE IMPOSSIBLE BOY<br>
+ IN SEARCH OF ARCADY
+<br><br>
+</div>
+<br><br><br><br>
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span></p>
+
+<p class="title2">ORTHODOXY</p>
+
+<p class="ph3"><i>by</i> NINA WILCOX PUTNAM</p>
+<br>
+<figure class="figcenter illowp5" id="p03" style="max-width: 8.8125em;">
+ <img class="w100" src="images/p03.jpg" alt="">
+</figure>
+<br>
+<p class="ph4">NEW YORK</p>
+<p class="ph4">MITCHELL KENNERLEY</p>
+<p class="ph4">1914</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span></p>
+<br><br><br>
+<p class="ph3"><i>To</i></p>
+<p class="ph3"><i>J. H. H.</i></p>
+<br><br>
+<p class="ph4">COPYRIGHT 1914 BY</p>
+<p class="ph4">MITCHELL KENNERLEY</p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span></p>
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHARACTERS">
+ <i>CHARACTERS</i>
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+<table class="autotable">
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE SEXTON</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE TENOR</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE ANCIENT WOMAN</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE CONTRALTO</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE MINISTER’S WIFE</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE CHORUS</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE LAND AGENT</td>
+<td class="tdl">FIRST FARMHAND</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE AGENT’S WIFE</td>
+<td class="tdl">SECOND FARMHAND</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE BUTCHER</td>
+<td class="tdl">A WORTHY CITIZEN</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE BUTCHER’S WIFE</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE RICH BACHELOR</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">FIRST GIRL</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE OLD MAID</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">SECOND GIRL</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE MINISTER</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THIRD GIRL</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE GREAT GOD PAN</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">FIRST YOUTH</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE IDIOT</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">SECOND YOUTH</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE IDIOT’S MOTHER</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THIRD YOUTH</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE CHOIR</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE BASSO</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE ORGANIST</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">THE SOPRANO</td>
+<td class="tdl">THE STRANGER</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span></p>
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="Note">
+ <i>Note</i>
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="preface"><i>It must be thoroughly realized that the characters
+of this play are intended to give voice to
+their actual, private thought of the moment;
+but are intended to do so in the usual tone and
+manner of polite conventionality. Their gestures
+and voices must be those of people under
+perfectly normal conditions, and everything
+done to stimulate realization by the audience
+of the fact that it is the secret minds of the
+characters which are being portrayed. They,
+the characters, are simply saying what they are
+really thinking in the situation in which they
+are presented, instead of employing the empty
+social forms which we are accustomed to hearing
+people actually give voice to.</i></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span></p>
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="Authors_Preface">
+ <span class="smcap">Author’s Preface</span>
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="preface">There has always been a peculiar fascination
+for me in the realization that while people
+were saying one thing, they were almost
+invariably thinking another. In certain circumstances
+we all realize this to be true, as in
+formal greetings and the expression of social
+amenities; and we read through the convenient
+form with comparative ease. A great deal of
+the time, however, we have to dodge about
+among the deliberately misleading words used
+by those with whom we come in contact, seeking
+here and there to find their real meaning, and
+this is a confusing and tiring task: one of those
+vicarious expenditures of energy of which the
+world has altogether too many. Words are
+themselves pitfalls of misunderstanding. To
+each of us their meaning varies slightly in all
+but the simplest forms, and even these may
+readily be applied with totally different significance.
+As for the confusion which intonation
+puts upon the spoken word, differentiating
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span>it from the same word when written, and the
+mistaken interpretations resulting therefrom, I
+need say nothing, as they are too widely acknowledged
+to need further comment. Bergson,
+the eminent French philosopher, points
+out that it is almost impossible really to convey
+anything through so clumsy a medium as language:
+and the experiment of asking a
+group of people to define the meaning of a
+simple word like “quite,” for instance, will
+convince anyone of the truth of this.</p>
+
+<p class="preface">Now granting that under the best of circumstances
+it is difficult for us to understand each
+other, why is it not indeed a wasteful thing to
+expend good energy on further disguise of our
+own thoughts? It is infinitely easier to be as
+direct as words permit, and the resulting reaction
+upon one’s acquaintance is intensely interesting.</p>
+
+<p class="preface">However far we may be from this ideal of
+genuinely frank intercourse between humans,
+if we possess the least curiosity about the
+actual foundations upon which other people’s
+lives are grounded, we can never cease from
+seeking to discover, or at least to guess, what
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span>is actually passing in their minds as their lips
+move over some empty formula—even when
+the formula is empty only from a familiarity
+which has brought it into contempt, and could
+and should be full of most poignant meaning,
+as in the case of the (omitted) sacred service
+in my play.</p>
+
+<p class="preface">For of all places in which to look for feeling
+which rings high, and words holding true
+meaning, a church is the most likely. And yet
+it was my childish observation of those who
+sat around me in the bare white church to
+which my grandmother took me as a little girl,
+that inspired my writing of what I hold to be in
+no way a sacrilegious play. In those long
+hours when I sat in the red cushioned pew,
+my feet dangling over its edge, quick with restrained
+energy, my eyes fixed upon the bit of
+sky beyond the tall windows over the clergyman’s
+head; in those long hours I knew that
+I was not thinking of the words I repeated so
+mechanically; and by a thousand tokens I knew
+that <i>the others about me were not doing so
+either</i>! In every way they betrayed themselves—there
+was no ecstasy upon their faces,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span>they were infinitely more conscious of their
+neighbors’ clothes than of the minister’s words.
+For years I watched them, these smug, comfortable
+congregations, who had no conception
+of the wonder and stupendous import of
+the service through which they sat so calmly,
+and hastened forth from, with gossip hot upon
+their lips. And then the notion came to me
+to write out all that I guessed to be the truth
+about them. All that I felt artistically <i>certain</i>
+was the truth: to put into the mouths of the
+congregation the things I guessed they were
+thinking. I do not say that I <i>knew</i> they were
+thinking so, for a positive statement is a pitfall
+for truth. But I guessed at it with that
+same conviction of having hit it right with
+which one looks into the utterly bored face of
+a departing guest and guesses that his “such
+a delightful time” means “I have had a hateful
+time.” And so I have put down the service
+as I heard it with my every instinct when I was
+a child: and as I guessed it with my mind as
+an adult.</p>
+
+<p class="preface">I do not wish to convey, however, that I believe
+that there are no really good people in
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span>churches. The <i>Contralto</i>, who hears the voice
+of <i>Pan</i>, is a “good” woman, because she is
+real. Therefore she can hear <i>Pan</i>. But like
+most real people she is frankly groping as far
+as her religious feeling goes. She knows that
+it makes her happy to sing, and to give her
+copper to the poor, and that both things pertain
+to religion: she knows, too, that the voice of
+<i>Pan</i>, the earthly god whose hoofs are pungent
+of meadow loam, and who speaks to the ears
+of youth, and sets the good flesh a-tingle, can
+be heard in churches, and that there is nothing
+incongruous in the fact: also she is sufficiently
+well-balanced to hear him, but not to
+lose sanity, and so see him. Alas! she is
+typical, I fear, of the minority, in which I have
+put her!</p>
+
+<p class="preface">I have intended no propaganda in the play,
+save that which you may deduce from it yourself,
+if you so wish. Make your own interpretations
+(as indeed you will without my telling
+you to). I have simply been curious: and this
+is the result of my exploration.</p>
+
+<p class="right">
+ N. W. P.
+</p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_12"></a><a id="Page_13"></a>[Pg 13]</span></p>
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="Orthodoxy">
+ Orthodoxy
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>A Play in One Act</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Nina Wilcox Putnam</span></p>
+<br>
+<p><i>Scene: The interior of a church. The audience
+sees a half-section of the building as
+though it had been cut lengthwise through the
+near side of the centre aisle, leaving it intact
+and running parallel with and immediately behind
+the footlights. As the entire width of the
+aisle is shown, the platform with reading-desk
+and minister’s seat stands complete beneath a
+sort of proscenium arch. Below the reading-desk,
+upon which is an enormous Bible, and
+occupying the end of the aisle-carpet, is the
+communion table, with mottled marble top and
+hideous carved legs of walnut. Below this,
+and extending to the aisle, are other pews with
+doors, facing the pulpit in the usual manner.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span>The woodwork is white-painted and the pews
+cushioned in crimson, while the walls are stencilled
+in imitation of carved mouldings.
+Through the row of long, undecorated windows
+at the rear the sun is shining gaily, and
+a glimpse of blue sky and waving trees may
+be had. At the right is the organ loft, shown
+sectionally, and beneath this is the entrance
+to the church. At rise of curtain the Sexton
+is discovered tidying the church with a last few
+touches: closing the doors of one or two pews,
+making sure that there are hymn-books in the
+racks and finally giving the contribution plate
+a brush with his pocket-handkerchief. He is
+a dyspeptic-looking man of perhaps forty years
+of age, whose chin recedes timidly into the
+enormous folds of a ready-made four-in-hand
+tie. His ill-fitting frock coat hangs loosely, but
+for all that he has an air of complacent self-importance.
+The church-bell is ringing.</i></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>They will all look at me as they come in.
+I’m important on Sundays, anyhow. What
+a sense of consequence it gives me to bustle
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span>about, getting things ready! That’s what I
+get out of this job! The stipend is nothing,
+the sentiment is nothing: but I put on these
+clothes and they all look at me, whereas they
+would do nothing of the sort otherwise....
+Now I must go and stand by the
+door and show them to their seats, as they
+arrive.... I wonder if the town-clerk
+will wear the shoes I made for him! Confound
+him, I wish he would pay for them!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>He goes to the entrance door and opens it,
+letting in a patch of sunlight and disclosing
+the steps of the building and a bit of view.
+He takes up his stand just inside, facing the
+audience, and adjusts his clothes self-consciously.
+A strange, wild laugh is heard, but
+the Sexton seems not to hear it. Presently
+the Very Ancient Woman enters. She is
+bent nearly double and walks with a stick.
+She is slightly palsied and her thin, wrinkled
+face is clear and calm. She is the very picture
+of ancient piety. The Sexton accompanies
+her, and each principal who enters
+thereafter, to their pews, with a courtesy of
+manner which utterly contradicts his language.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span>Their manner is also a contradiction
+to their words</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>Well, old crone! What a nuisance it is to
+have to assist your doddering footsteps up
+the aisle every Sunday!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Ancient Woman</span></p>
+
+<p>Thank goodness I am the first! Last Sunday
+the butcher’s wife got here before me,
+and so I missed seeing her come in. But to-day
+I’ll miss no one.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span> [<i>assisting her into a pew</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Old stupid! Tuck your skirt in, can’t you?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Ancient Woman</span> [<i>gazing around with
+an air of satisfaction</i>]</p>
+
+<p>This is fine! So much better than staying at
+home alone. I would not miss it for worlds!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Minister’s Wife enters with two small
+girl children, one on either hand. She exchanges
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span>a surreptitious bow with the Sexton
+and hurries to a front pew</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister’s Wife</span> [<i>as she goes down the
+aisle</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Oh, I hope the roast will not burn while I
+am gone! That wretched stove! My garter
+hurts. Shall I be able to adjust it, I wonder?
+No! Some one might see: I shall have
+to sit in misery. The whole congregation
+will watch me; but no matter how I act, they
+will talk about it afterward.... If
+only the children will be quiet! I will pray
+for that. [<i>She enters the pew and kneels,
+burying her face in her hands, while the little
+girls sit staring about, round-eyed</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span> [<i>returning to door</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Poor woman, what a silly face she has!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter the Land Agent and his Wife</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Land Agent</span> [<i>to the Sexton</i>]</p>
+
+<p>If this were the place to talk about such
+things I would tell you that I am going to
+evict you to-morrow.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>How you glare at me, sir! Positively, I am
+tempted to rob the plate in order to pay
+you!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Agent’s Wife</span></p>
+
+<p>I have on a new hat.</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The laugh rings out again, but no one
+heeds</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span> [<i>smiling politely</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Here is your pew. I wish its floor would
+collapse and drop you both through.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Agent’s Wife</span></p>
+
+<p>I have on a new hat! [<i>She kneels and continues
+repeating the sentence softly for a
+moment</i>]</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter the Butcher and his Wife</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Butcher</span></p>
+
+<p>Thank fortune, the All-pervading Power, if
+there really is any such, cannot possibly
+know about that overcharge I made. He
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span>will only see the fine waistcoat which I
+bought with it!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Butcher’s Wife</span></p>
+
+<p>How religious I look! It is so respectable
+to go to church with one’s husband!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Ancient Woman</span></p>
+
+<p>She has on her last summer’s gown!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span> [<i>to the butcher, genially</i>]</p>
+
+<p>I’ll beat you at pinochle yet, old man!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter three Young Girls</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">First Girl</span></p>
+
+<p>See my new hat, see my new hat! It has
+pink, pink roses upon it.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Second Girl</span></p>
+
+<p>Her hat is not any better than my shoes.
+Look at my shoes.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Third Girl</span></p>
+
+<p>He has not come as yet!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span> [<i>shows them a seat</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Here, you charming things! How plump the
+eldest is: I would like to pinch her.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Third Girl</span> [<i>kneeling</i>]</p>
+
+<p>How the sexton smells of pomade: he sickens
+me. When will my beloved come!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">First Girl</span> [<i>kneeling</i>]</p>
+
+<p>My new hat, see my new hat, see it, see it!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Second Girl</span> [<i>kneeling</i>]</p>
+
+<p>My shoes, my shoes! They hurt, but see
+how white they are.</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The church fills more rapidly now, with a
+crowd of country folk. The named Characters
+come in, forward, along the outer edge
+of the aisle. The gallery begins to fill</i>]</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter two Youths</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>Louts! You can find your own places!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Third Girl</span></p>
+
+<p>It is he! Will he not look at me?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">First Youth</span></p>
+
+<p>There is the grocer’s daughter. How she
+stares! I wish she would stop it, for she
+makes me uneasy. Now if it were the young
+matron yonder, who looked at me once with
+soft eyes....</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Second Youth</span></p>
+
+<p>The grocer’s daughter will not look at me.
+Alas!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter Third Youth</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Third Youth</span></p>
+
+<p>How my shirt scratches me, how my shirt
+scratches me!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Kneels, repeating</i>]</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Organist begins to play very softly,
+and the Choir straggle in and take their
+places</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Basso</span></p>
+
+<p>If you don’t keep on the key this morning,
+Miss Soprano, I shall go mad!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Soprano</span></p>
+
+<p>You have a wretched ear for music!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Chorus</span> [<i>tittering</i>]</p>
+
+<p>We are really as good as they, the conceited
+things!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Tenor</span></p>
+
+<p>This choir would go all to pieces if it were
+not for me. At least I must contrive to
+keep them thinking so.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Contralto</span></p>
+
+<p>Oh, the music, the music! Once a week at
+least I can sing to the organ. How glad I
+am—how glad I am to sing!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The laugh rings out again, and at the sound
+of it the Contralto smiles and hums over her
+part under her breath. No one else heeds</i>]</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter two Farmhands</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">First Farmhand</span></p>
+
+<p>I don’t really know what it is all about, but
+let us sit down.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Second Farmhand</span></p>
+
+<p>No more do I understand it; but it’s very
+respectable.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span></p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter a Worthy Citizen and his Wife, together
+with a Rich Bachelor. They talk as
+they walk up the aisle and become seated in
+the same pew</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Worthy Citizen</span> [<i>to the Rich Bachelor</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Our business is going well, friend, and not
+the less so because we show ourselves regularly
+in this House!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Rich Bachelor</span></p>
+
+<p>Yes, yes! And how fine it is to know that
+as we walk up here, everyone is looking and
+whispering, and wondering how much money
+we really have! [<i>He kneels and murmurs</i>]
+I hope dinner will be on time to-day.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>I will bow obsequiously to you, and perhaps
+you will lend me the money that will save me
+from eviction! I hope you are seated comfortably!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter the Old Maid</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Old Maid</span> [<i>hurrying primly to a front
+pew</i>]</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span></p>
+
+<p>Will the men look at me as I pass? Ah!
+There is no desire in their eyes. [<i>Kneels
+in her pew</i>] I am a-weary, blowing on cold
+ashes!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>Ah! She was a wild one when I was a boy,
+the slut! The village never found her out,
+though!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Enter a Common Woman with her son, the
+village Idiot. They seat themselves mid-way
+down the aisle, in direct line with one
+of the gaunt windows, the sash of which is
+half open. During the scene which follows,
+the Idiot keeps staring at this window, where
+presently appears the Great God Pan. Pan
+it is who has been laughing, and he seats himself
+upon the sill, where he and the Idiot
+can see each other. They talk on terms of
+old intimacy, using many gestures, and are
+entirely oblivious to everything save each
+other. No one but the Idiot sees Pan or
+hears what he says, nor what the Idiot says
+to him. When the Idiot speaks to Pan, his
+language is intelligible. When he replies to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span>his mother’s rebuke, he is able to make nothing
+but a terrible, meaningless sound in his
+throat. The Contralto, in the organ loft,
+seems to realize Pan is present, but she cannot
+see him. The tolling of the bell ceases,
+and the Minister, a smug young man in a
+white stock, walks briskly up the aisle, a
+Bible under his arm</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>Ah! They can never begin without Me! I
+am the whole show, here! It is really a very
+desirable job, mine!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>He goes to the platform, mounts the steps
+and, standing behind the reading-desk, half
+closes his eyes, stretching out his hands to
+the Congregation, who lean forward in
+prayer</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span> [<i>as though praying</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Lean forward uncomfortably now, all of you,
+and listen, or don’t listen, exactly as you like.
+But do steal a covert look at me, as I stand
+here in this picturesque and sanctified attitude.
+Here we are, gathered together in
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span>this house, and I can’t think of a single
+original thing to say, try as I will. I am
+going to be very dull, I know, but it gives
+me a sort of pleasant sense of importance to
+be doing it, and it will be over in about an
+hour, and then we will all be at liberty to go
+our several ways. Amen!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>During the dialogue between Pan and the
+Idiot, the Minister and the congregation go
+on with the motions of the service</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span> [<i>to Pan</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Hello! Won’t you come in?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>It is warmer here in the sunlight.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span></p>
+
+<p>I will come out to you presently. Can you
+see the ocean from there?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>Yes. I was down upon the sands early this
+morning and saw....</p>
+
+<p>[<i>His voice is lost in the sound of the Congregation
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span>singing, although the two are seen
+to go on talking unconcernedly. The Congregation
+has arisen and sings</i>]:</p>
+
+<div class="poetry-container">
+ <div class="poetry">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent0">Praise Gold from which all blessings flow,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">Praise it ye creatures here below;</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">Praise it all ye Heavenly Hosts,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">Slave for gold till ye give up your ghosts!</div>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+</div>
+
+<p>[<i>The Congregation resumes its seats</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>... and the leaves all caressed each
+other and laughed for love of it!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span></p>
+
+<p>And did the south wind <i>never</i> come back?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>O yes! The south wind it was that played
+about the barren branches this very spring,
+coaxing the young leaves to come out again.
+She and the sun, you know, are lovers, and
+I will tell you a story about them, which a
+famous Greek historian, who was my good
+friend, wrote. You see it came about thus....
+[<i>Pan’s voice is drowned out by that
+of the Minister</i>]</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>We will now read the ninth selection of the
+psalter, page one hundred and twenty. The
+ninth selection.</p>
+
+<p>My son, forget not my law: but let thine
+heart keep my commandments.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Congregation</span></p>
+
+<p>For length of days, and long life and peace,
+shall they add to thee.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>Let not cunning and deceit forsake thee: bind
+them about thy neck; write them upon the
+tablets of thy heart.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Congregation</span></p>
+
+<p>So shalt thou find favor and good understanding
+in the sight of man.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>Trust in Gold with all thy heart; and lean
+not unto thine own understanding.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Congregation</span></p>
+
+<p>In all ways acknowledge Gold, and it shall
+direct thy paths.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>Be wise in thine own eyes; fear Good and
+depend on evil.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Congregation</span></p>
+
+<p>It shall be health to thy navel and marrow
+to thy bones.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>Honor Success with thy substance, and with
+the first fruits of all thine increase.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Congregation</span></p>
+
+<p>So shall thy barrels be filled with plenty,
+and thy presses shall burst out with new
+wine.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>Happy is the man that findeth cunning and
+getteth unscrupulous.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Congregation</span></p>
+
+<p>For the merchandise of it is begotten of the
+merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof,
+fine gold.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>... And there they lay upon the bank
+of scented ferns, until her sister, the west
+wind, drew away the grey curtain of night,
+while Mrs. Aurora extinguished the stars,
+one by one, and raised her flaming shield
+against the eastern horizon!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span></p>
+
+<p>A lovely story, that! But who is Mrs. Aurora?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>A light lady of my acquaintance, much given
+to chariot-racing, I regret to say. A noisy
+party, not scrupling to awaken sleepers!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span></p>
+
+<p>Tell me about her.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>Some other day. Is not one story sufficient
+for one morning?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span></p>
+
+<p>Well, it was a beautiful story! I will repeat
+it to the rivulets on the hillside, that they
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span>may babble it over, and have it memorized
+in time to tell it to the sea, when they shall
+reach it!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>Hast seen those young robins yet—the ones
+of which I told you? Your tutoring would
+help them learn to fly. Be sure now that
+this afternoon you go....</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>We will now rise and unite as nearly as
+possible in singing hymn number five hundred
+and fifteen. Hymn number five hundred
+and fifteen.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Congregation</span> [<i>sings</i>]</p>
+
+<div class="poetry-container">
+ <div class="poetry">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent0">The Church’s one foundation</div>
+ <div class="verse indent2">Has long been lost to sight,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">It now is the creation</div>
+ <div class="verse indent2">Of greed, convention, fright.</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">From honest superstition,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent2">Full long we have been free,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">But still we must maintain</div>
+ <div class="verse indent2">Re-spec-ta-bil-i-ty!</div>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent26">Amen!</div>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span> [<i>clapping his hands loudly, and
+jumping up and down with glee at some suggestion
+of Pan’s</i>]</p>
+
+<p>That will be fine! And afterward, we will
+dance!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot’s Mother</span> [<i>shaking him by the
+shoulder</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Stop staring and mouthing at that window!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Idiot makes a terrible, inarticulate
+sound in reply to her. It is evident that he
+cannot talk to humans</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>The lesson for to-day will be found in the
+third verse of the thirty-second chapter of the
+book of Exodus. “And all the people brake
+off the golden earrings which were in their
+ears, and brought them unto Aaron. And
+he received them at their hand, and fashioned
+it with a graving tool, after he had
+made it a molten calf: and they said, these
+be thy Gods, O Israel....”</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span> [<i>together with Pan</i>]</p>
+
+<p>O joy! O joy!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot’s Mother</span> [<i>angry</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Shut up, can’t you! This is no place for
+such things!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Idiot repeats his inarticulate noise</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>As I was about to remark....</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>Let us pray! Oh, darn it all! I have to
+make this prayer longer than the first! I
+have to talk on and on and on and on for
+twenty minutes. If I talk less, I’ll hear of
+it from the deacons. On and on and on and
+on! One eye on the clock, though both eyes
+appear shut! On and on! Is the time up
+yet? No! Two minutes more! On and
+on and on! Just filling the time with meaningless
+words. Ah! Time’s up!...
+and hear us as we say [<i>the Congregation
+joins him</i>] Our Father, who art a safe distance
+away in a hypothetical place called
+Heaven, give us this day our daily bread
+and all the other things we want: give us,
+give us, give us, give, give, give! Amen!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span> [<i>laughs loudly</i>]</p>
+
+<p>You have hit it right! The interesting
+things in life are the difficult ones—and to
+prove it, this very afternoon we will hang
+garlands on the guinea-pigs’ tails, shoe the
+snakes’ feet, and make a portrait of the
+wind!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span></p>
+
+<p>Won’t that be clever of us? And useful,
+too!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>The notices for the week are as follows. On
+Tuesday evening at half past seven, the
+Mothers’ Meeting will take place. It will
+be attended chiefly by old maids, as usual.
+Wednesday evening, the Missionary Society
+will meet in the chapel, as heretofore. Mr.
+O. Phool will speak about the vital necessity
+of neglecting our own slums entirely,
+and sending out a few more or less illiterate
+men and women to try and uproot the ancient
+philosophic religion of China. All are
+welcome. On Thursday evening the usual
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span>bluff, very similar to this present one, will
+be held in the chapel. Our neighbor, the
+church in the next town, extends a well-calculated
+invitation to the members of this
+congregation to attend the unveiling of a
+perfectly ridiculous monument which they
+have erected in memory of the late Bishop
+of this diocese. They hope all of you will
+come and help make a good crowd. The
+Sunday morning Institution for Befogging
+the Minds of the Young will take place in
+the basement of this church immediately
+after this service. All are welcome to stay
+and gloat over it. You will now be fleeced
+of the usual money in the usual fashion. I
+hope you will all contribute generously. Inasmuch
+as my salary comes out of it, this is
+always a rather anxious and embarrassing
+time for me. So I will retire behind the
+desk and try to look unconscious.</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Minister seats himself. The organ
+plays softly, and the Sexton, taking the plate
+from the communion table, passes it along
+the aisle. The Congregation speak as they
+drop in their offerings</i>]</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Ancient Woman</span></p>
+
+<p>My usual small bit. The show is worth it!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister’s Wife</span></p>
+
+<p>My copper, for appearance sake. Oh, that
+roast of beef in the oven at home!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Land Agent</span></p>
+
+<p>Half a dollar, or they will think my business
+is failing!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>Stingy!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Butcher</span></p>
+
+<p>A part of that overcharge, just in case.
+... it will ease my mind.</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">First Young Girl</span></p>
+
+<p>See what a dainty hand I have!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Second Young Girl</span></p>
+
+<p>I hope that he whom I love sees how generously
+I give!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Third Young Girl</span></p>
+
+<p>I had far rather buy a ribbon with it!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span> [<i>turning from them with a critical
+air</i>]</p>
+
+<p>The eldest is not so attractive after all: she
+has a pimple on her chin!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">First Youth</span></p>
+
+<p>I will put in nothing, for my friend here is
+going to put in two coins, and if I make the
+motions of contributing, no one but the sexton
+will know....</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Second Youth contributes</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Third Youth</span></p>
+
+<p>I would not give this were it not that I still
+have enough to buy a drink with later!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Basso</span> [<i>to the Soprano, who apparently
+agrees with him</i>]</p>
+
+<p>We are lucky to escape that. They don’t
+pass the plate up here!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Contralto</span> [<i>to herself</i>]</p>
+
+<p>I will keep my little coin to drop in the
+poor-box as I go out.</p>
+
+<p>[<i>Pan laughs and she smiles at him, not seeing,
+but only hearing him</i>]</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">First Farmhand</span></p>
+
+<p>It’s cruel to make us give up part of a hard-earned
+wage for this!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Rich Bachelor</span></p>
+
+<p>This gives me pride! I am sure no one else
+will give as much as I do!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Idiot repeats his inarticulate sound</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">His Mother</span></p>
+
+<p>Shut up! Don’t disgrace me just as I’m giving
+a decent bit of money to the plate!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Old Maid</span></p>
+
+<p>I will fumble with my purse as long as possible,
+that you may be obliged to stand near,
+man!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>Ugh! There is a vile odor of peppermint
+about you. [<i>Turning away with the plate,
+and looking the coins over furtively</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Bah! A wretched collection! But see how
+magnificently I will march up the aisle
+with it!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Sexton retires</i>]</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>Yes, dear comrade, with pleasure! Here
+is a handful of fresh air for you! [<i>He
+makes a gesture of tossing. A breeze blows
+in</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span></p>
+
+<p>Thanks! I drink your health with it!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>Let us try to sing in the same time and
+key, the hymn number five hundred and
+twenty-four. Hymn number five hundred and
+twenty-four!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Congregation</span> [<i>sings</i>]</p>
+
+<div class="poetry-container">
+ <div class="poetry">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent0">From Greenland’s icy mountains</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">To India’s coral strand,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">Where Afric’s sunny fountains</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">Roll down their golden sand,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">From every ancient city</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">From modern town or old,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">We hear the single cry of</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">“O let us work for gold!”</div>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent26">Amen!</div>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Idiot</span></p>
+
+<p>I sing, I sing! [<i>Repeats his inarticulate
+sound</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">His Mother</span></p>
+
+<p>Be still, fool!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span></p>
+
+<p>I laugh! Ha! Ha!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Idiot and Pan laugh together</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span></p>
+
+<p>My text for to-day will be found in the third
+verse of the sixth chapter of St. Matthew:
+“Let not thy left hand know what thy
+right hand doeth.” I use this text because it
+is a popular one: one which we are all pretty
+well in sympathy with, and live by, conscientiously,
+rather than because it has anything
+so very much to do with my sermon. However,
+that is of little importance, for it
+is possible to twist any text into any desired
+meaning: indeed its breadth of meaning
+is dependent only upon the wit of the minister,
+and if I was quicker of wit, you would
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span>not stand for what I would then wish to
+preach. Neither, my brethren, would I be
+here in this stupid little town: I’d be in
+a swell church in a big city, where the women
+would make me really valuable presents!
+Well, I suppose I’d better get back to the
+text, although, of course, it’s much more
+amusing to me to talk about myself. “Let
+not thy right hand know what thy left hand
+doeth!” Reflect, dear friends, on the beauty
+of that thought—on its practical common
+sense! We all know how desirable is the
+ability to fool ourselves, and how comparatively
+few of us have attained perfection in
+that art. But we can—if we strive earnestly—we
+can <i>all</i> acquire the habit of fooling
+ourselves part of the time: in other words,
+we can do one thing with one hand, and
+actually blind ourselves as to what we are
+doing with the other, even though it counteracts
+the first action entirely! We can
+beam kindly on our neighbor and lend him
+money at usury, and then give instructions to
+a secret partner to foreclose on that neighbor
+at the earliest opportunity. How simple.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span>Yet the application of this great
+maxim—“Let not thy right hand know”—can
+be made even more simple and direct.
+We can, for example, shake hands with a
+man with our right hand, and abstract his
+watch with our left! In this case, plainly,
+our hands are doing exactly opposite things.
+Your innocent right hand, and your equally
+innocent left, are blameless because you have
+stood between them, obeying the precept of
+the great author of our text! Never, my
+friends, my brethren, never believe but that
+you can live in accordance with the teachings
+of the great prophets and, more especially,
+by the examples set forth in the book
+of books! Think not that all the examples
+set forth therein are too difficult for modern
+humanity to attain! It is not so, my brethren,
+it is not so! Did not David steal his
+neighbor’s wife? He did! And who was
+it got a vineyard by a false foreclosure, but
+his son? Can not this sort of thing be done
+to-day? It can, my brethren, it can, if you
+will but try hard enough! And many villainies
+beside, all of which you can justify,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span>if you will, by precedent in the book of
+books! Try it, my friends—try it, I beg
+of you. Strive earnestly, and you will find
+that you can do pretty nearly anything and
+get away with it, provided you come here
+regularly, and so, keep my job going for me.
+Remember, that if you are sufficiently orthodox,
+the Bible is infallible. Whether you
+live by the first half of it or by the second,
+is really of no importance to the church. You
+must simply acknowledge its infallibility, and
+then choose your half. I advise the older
+part. The Bible is infallible. You believe
+in it: therefore you are orthodox. The
+Bible is infallible, but it is contradictory. So
+is infallibility. Infallibly so! So perhaps
+contradiction is infallible.</p>
+
+<p>Now that I have given you a sermon
+which you did not feel obliged to listen to
+(in accordance with the terms of my contract)
+instead of what I would like to say, I
+will stop. If you really knew what I honestly
+believe, you would be astonished. But
+it is better for you to remain in ignorance,
+and better for me. Indeed, a slightly altered
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span>form of to-day’s text would fit me admirably.
+“Let not thy right mind know what thy
+wrong is doing, lest you go mad!” [<i>He
+closes his eyes and stretches out his hands</i>]
+And now one short prayer more. This is the
+last, thank fortune, and the least difficult.
+I’ll just say a word or two further. That
+will do. Amen!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Choir sings alone, the Congregation
+standing</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Choir</span> [<i>sings</i>]</p>
+
+<div class="poetry-container">
+ <div class="poetry">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent0">Praise to the leading social light,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent2">And to the rich sing praise:</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">But most of all let’s praise ourselves,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent2">No matter what our ways.</div>
+ </div>
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent26">Amen!</div>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+</div>
+
+<p>[<i>Tune, dox. 566</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Minister</span> [<i>with outstretched hands</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Let us go to dinner! Amen!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The instant the Minister stops speaking,
+the Congregation begins to bustle out, most
+indecorously, all talking at once</i>]</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">Pan</span> [<i>above the din of talk</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Meet you at the door, comrade! Ha! ha!
+ha! ha! [<i>He leaps down and disappears</i>]</p>
+
+<p>[<i>The Idiot rushes off from his mother, unreproved.
+Gradually the crowd thins out,
+with characteristic action on the part of the
+named characters, until there is no one left
+except the Sexton, who is busy with the collection-plate,
+by the pulpit. A wait. Then,
+into the vivid patch of sunlight at the open
+door, there steps the ragged form of a
+Stranger. He is young, but bearded, and
+wears a voluminous cloak of rough material.
+He is bare-footed, bare-headed, and
+carries a long staff like a shepherd’s crook.
+The sun is vivid behind his golden head</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span> [<i>entering only as far as the
+doorsill</i>]</p>
+
+<p>What a fine place this is!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span> [<i>putting the collection money into
+his pocket and hurrying down the aisle in
+a fine rage at sight of the shabby intruder</i>]</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span></p>
+
+<p>Yes, a very fine and expensive building. But
+you will have to get out. I am closing up!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span> [<i>retreats a trifle before the
+rough gesture of the Sexton</i>]</p>
+
+<p>Closing so fine and large a house! Is it
+left empty, then?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>All the week. Why not?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></p>
+
+<p>Empty all through the week! Then perhaps
+I can find lodging here!</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>Ha! ha! <i>Lodging here</i>! Ho! ho! That’s
+a good one! [<i>They step out on to the porch,
+the Sexton pushing out the Stranger</i>] Lodging.
+Oh! ha! ha! Don’t you recognize this
+place, don’t you know what place this is?</p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></p>
+
+<p>What strange place is it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span></p>
+
+<p class="charname"><span class="smcap">The Sexton</span></p>
+
+<p>Why, you idiot! It is the house of God!</p>
+
+<p>[<i>He shuts the door with a bang, closing himself
+and the Stranger out. The key is heard
+to turn in the lock, raspingly</i>]</p>
+<br>
+<p class="center">CURTAIN</p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+<div class="tnote">
+<h2 class="nobreak" id="Transcribers_note">
+Transcriber’s Note:
+</h2>
+
+<p class="note">Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been standardized.</p>
+
+<p class="note">Minor punctuation errors have been changed without notice.</p>
+
+<p class="note">New original cover art included with this eBook is granted to the public domain.</p>
+
+</div></div>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78965 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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