diff options
Diffstat (limited to '78690-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 78690-0.txt | 3908 |
1 files changed, 3908 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/78690-0.txt b/78690-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..625be70 --- /dev/null +++ b/78690-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3908 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78690 *** + + + + + THE + + CONTRAST, + + BY THE AUTHOR OF “MATILDA,” “YES AND NO,” + &c. &c. + + + Take but degree away--untune that string, + And hark! what discord follows. + SHAKSPEARE. + + + IN THREE VOLUMES. + + VOL. III. + + + LONDON: + + HENRY COLBURN AND RICHARD BENTLEY, + NEW BURLINGTON STREET, + + 1832. + + + + + THE CONTRAST. + + + + + CHAPTER I. + + Thou art in London, in that pleasant place + Where every kind of mischief’s daily brewing, + Which can await warm youth in its wild race. + BYRON. + + She gazed upon a world she scarcely knew, + As seeking not to know it. + SILENT LOVE. + + +Is there one--the veriest citizen of the world though he may be--who +has not felt a sudden chill seize upon his energies, a blight fall +as it were upon his faculties, when in the varied changes of his +chequered life, he has found himself amid scenes to which he alone +is strange, whilst all around are, as it were, “to the manner born?” +The sense of inferiority can take no more painful shape than the +impossibility of entering into sources of enjoyment, which seem +open to every one else. This impression can only occasionally and +incidentally afflict the man of the world, its repetition is evaded +by shunning the unusual society which caused it, or quitting those +foreign sojourning places where it was found. He therefore could +have no idea of the oppressive sensation of hopeless solitude +which overpowered Lucy when she first found herself dropped in the +midst of the ever busy crowds of London. Your true cockney is apt +to speculate, with no little self satisfaction, upon the first +impression that the largest city in the world must make upon that +foreigner who has only seen Paris or Petersburgh, or that countryman +who has only visited Bath or York; but how could he estimate the +bewilderment of her who had never, till within a short time, strayed +from the solitary shores of Morden Bay? Country girls have no +doubt constantly before come up to London, without any previous +preparation; but then their impressions have been limited by their +own straitened circumstances, and their individual cares for the +coming day have much confined the effects produced on them by the +surrounding grandeur; and the smallness of their own share of the +comforts which they beheld, has limited their admiration of the +marvellous variety which was to be divided among others. On the other +hand, the strange conviction on Lucy’s mind, that she would now +have as large an individual command as any one, of all the varied +luxuries which on all sides bewildered her sight, gave her a painful +consciousness of her own littleness. + +For nearly seven miles of suburb, she had been expecting to stop at +every door she passed, thinking it quite impossible the town could +extend any farther. A curious inquiry it would be, and probably +puzzling to more experienced investigators than Lucy, who live in +those houses, which are perpetually building in most out-of-the +way districts? Are the houses built for the inhabitants, or the +inhabitants fitted to the houses? + +The carriage at length stopped at Lord Castleton’s door, which was +in one of the _soi-disant_ fashionable squares in the west end of +London. It was still very early in a London spring morning, that is, +it was not above two hours after noon, and Castleton determined to go +out, to collect new gossip from old acquaintance at the clubs, and +Lucy was left alone; and she felt as if she was the first person in +the world who had ever known the most extended signification of that +word _alone_. + +The _soignée salon_ in which she had been left, opened, behind its +muslin draperies, upon a balcony and veranda, filled with rare +and sweet plants, and from thence she looked forth upon the scene +beyond, having first stepped out merely to catch the last glimpse +of Castleton as he turned the corner. By one used to the more busy +parts of the metropolis, it would have been styled a quiet situation; +but to Lucy it appeared as if some great event must have collected +an unusual crowd. And there they all hurry on, she thought, whether +on business or pleasure, sent by one person seeking another. And I, +perhaps, of all this moving crowd, am the only creature who knows no +one, and for whom no one cares. Castleton has gone forth, and however +surprised, there is no one of whom I can ask a question; however +pleased, no one to whom I can express my admiration: and whatever may +be the destination of all these ever-moving busy ants below, the only +thing certain is, that their pursuits have no connexion whatever with +me. She envied even the dustman, who through the iron rail of the +area, shook the hand that declined his call. She thought even the old +clothesman looked with an eye of interest on all he passed. She would +have liked to have participated in the anxious care of the nervous +nursery maid, in convoying her unruly six sail over a dangerous +crossing. As the day advanced, she marked with equal certainty +that she could have no interest in their motions; the thundering +notification of the stately coach, which all ended in depositing an +empty card, and the stealthy approach of the gliding _cab_, which +neared the flags, and dropped a more interesting billet, just where a +fair expectant hand awaited it, either for herself or mistress.--Each +succeeding incident, of which she was an unobserved spectator, only +increased her sense of loneliness. Her attention was, at length, +particularly attracted to a gay cavalcade of ladies and gentlemen +who were making the circuit from the other side of the square. +There were in all three ladies, and a superabundant attendance of +cavaliers. But Lucy’s eye was fixed on the lady who rode first, +between two gentlemen, her horse indicating that sort of becoming +impatience which excites fear for a bad horse-woman, and admiration +of a good one. But to Lucy it looked very tremendous, till, upon +nearer approach, she observed that so far from being alarmed, she +was talking gaily, and laughing merrily. Her head was turned towards +the gentleman nearest Lucy, whilst her other companion was anxiously +appearing to be amused with what she was saying. + +As they came under the balcony, Lucy clapped her hands with delight, +saying to herself, “O, dear, I’m so happy there is somebody I do +know; that’s the kind lady of Hornscliff Abbey.” + +It was impossible, indeed, for any one who had once seen Lady Gayland +to be mistaken. Though the expression of her countenance was now as +different from that which, when Lucy had last beheld her, beamed with +sympathy on her distresses, as the costume which she now wore, or the +occasion on which she was seen. In passing, even whilst continuing +the conversation, without elevating her head, she raised her eyes to +the balcony on which Lucy was standing. Lucy conceived she must have +heard her, but, perhaps, entirely unconnected with her, Lady Gayland +had her own motives for casting one transient glance unobserved +in that direction. Lucy, though, thought otherwise, and hastily +withdrew, imagining that the only impression which her presence there +could cause, on the lady’s mind must be, “What can Lucy Darnell be +doing in that fine house?” + +Lucy would hardly have been able to account for her never having +mentioned to Castleton her interview with the Lady of Hornscliff +Abbey; but, perhaps, one reason was, that not till some time after +that event did she see him again. And though she would not have +thought of premeditated concealment from him of any important point, +they had never been upon those terms of easy equality which could +have induced her to volunteer confidence. Latterly, too, she had +observed so much uneasiness and impatience on his part, at any casual +mention of circumstances connected either with the trial or smuggling +transactions, that the fear of annoying him, coupled with her +ignorance of the lady’s name, which left her indeed little to tell, +prevented her, upon his return, from making any mention of the person +she had observed from the window. + +Castleton came home in high spirits; he had been much pleased with +the cordial manner in which his re-appearance had been greeted by +all his old acquaintances. It is a pleasing illusion which, on such +an occasion, makes a man appropriate, as indicating a clear sense of +his own merits, those manifestations of delight at his re-appearance, +which have oftener no other foundation than the ebullitions of +selfish satisfaction, at any break or change in the wearisome +monotony of a life of pleasure. + +But Castleton was too popular a man for him not to be justified +in attributing to more flattering motives much of the warmth of +his welcome. It was astonishing the deference that was paid to his +opinion upon all matters connected with the arts, literature, or +politics, considering that he had never exerted his own talents +directly in any of these different departments. But perhaps for this +very reason, as he never even drew except that once at Morden Bay, +which was certainly not with a view to extended fame, or wrote, +or spoke himself at all, and was equally devoid of any pretensions +of his own, as either artist, author, or orator, he was the more +readily allowed to decide upon those of others; more particularly +as his manner of conveying his opinions was as mild as the opinions +themselves were valuable. And having established amongst his +acquaintance universally, a character as arbiter of taste, he was not +a little anxious how far that character might be confirmed by the +estimate of his conduct in so important a point as the choice of a +wife; about which he had his own misgivings. The fact is, that in no +point had Castleton more deceived himself than in not perceiving that +that very over refinement in scrutinizing the motives and opinions +of others, which had made him suspect interested inconsistencies in +all women in his own rank in life, would, taking only another shape, +make him even more conscious than another would have been of the +inevitable incongruities of his present partner with that rank of +life to which he had raised her. One of a less morbidly critical +taste, less disposed to analyze below the surface, would have been +satisfied with that favourable impression which beauty and grace +in perfection could not fail to make in the first instance. But he +already began to fear that those mental deficiencies, which he had, +indeed, but lately discovered himself, must at first sight be obvious +to every one else. Still, uncomfortable, indeed, must have been the +forebodings which could not have been chased away, at least for the +time, by the look of confiding devotion with which she received +him upon his return. His first care was to make her, as far as he +could, comfortable in her new habitation. But a sense of comfort is +not a feeling which can at once be transfused, with the will of him +who wishes it. Comfort is so closely connected with habit, that +many things which to others would have contributed to confer it, +were to Lucy, from their strangeness, only additional sources of +embarrassment. + +His next anxiety was as to her first introduction into society, or +what is called the world. He was right in thinking that upon this +occasion much depended upon that first impression; but he was wrong +in doubting that in Lucy’s case, the probabilities were much in +favour of that being advantageous. In London, provided a person is +positively pretty and new, their other qualities may be negative; +and as long as they are not obtrusively either awkward or silly, +they may pass muster very well, at least for a time. People have +not either the leisure or the inclination to pick out peccadilloes +in deportment, which they have in a country neighbourhood. If the +same persons were not exposed one half the year to the really severe +ordeal of the one, they would not be so very sensitive in the other. +In the London season, all the little social rubs to which all are +in turn subject, arise much more from an over estimate of their own +importance, than from any intentional depreciation of it on the part +of their associates. It is to the failure of attempts to be what they +are not, rather than to any dispute as to conceding what they are, +that self-inflicted mortifications may be traced. Those who keep one +foot within reach of firm ground, will never get much of a tumble, in +climbing the ladder of fashion. + + + + + CHAPTER II. + + Then dress, then dinner, then awakes the world! + Then glare the lamps, then whirl the wheels, then roar + Through street and square fast flashing chariots hurl’d + Like harnessed meteors; then along the floor + Chalk mimics painting; then festoons are twirled; + Then roll the brazen thunders of the door, + Which opens to a thousand happy few, + An earthly paradise of “Or Molu.” + BYRON. + + +Lord Castleton changed his mind very often as to the best preparatory +introduction for Lucy to a few select friends. He was convinced that +before she was launched into the great world, he ought to provide +her with some female companion, under whose auspices she might then +make her appearance. For though it might look merely loving and +interesting for a bride to appear leaning on her husband’s arm, +in that society to which they had both been previously known; yet +where she was a stranger, like needlessly backing a bill, it might +excite a suspicion as to her being able to stand alone, without his +name being thus attached, or his hand thus put to insure her not +being discredited. His first intention was to have invited a small +party to dinner at his own house. But though this would have insured +him the absolute selection of all the individuals to whom Lucy +was, in the first instance, to have been introduced; on the other +hand, the active duties of a hostess, perhaps in her idea so much +more active than he would have thought necessary, were more than he +wished to entail upon her in her probationary trial. Then, as to +the lady to whom he was to apply as a sort of _chaperon_ for his +inexperienced bride, his thoughts first turned to Lady Gayland; a +direction in which, as I am afraid it must be acknowledged, they did +turn oftener than he would have chosen to admit. Yet he had a great +disinclination to exposing at once to her acute perception any little +foibles or deficiencies on Lucy’s part, though he knew that the mere +circumstance of any one requiring her assistance, would have disposed +her to view them in the most favourable light. Yet there were many +little traits of ignorance on Lucy’s part which he was labouring +hard to correct, and which he hoped might yet be completely removed, +without Lady Gayland’s ever being conscious of them. There were also +circumstances of misconception, if not of misunderstanding, connected +with his last parting with that lady at Naples, which prevented his +feeling authorized in abruptly asking of her a favour. + +The difficulties, both with respect to when the introductory dinner +was to be given, and the person by whom Lucy was to be _chaperoned_, +were removed at the same time, by his accidentally meeting a cousin +of his, Mrs. Tudor, who at once occurred to him as admirably suited +to both purposes. She was indeed an excellent woman--Mrs. Tudor. +Every one admitted it, no one could deny it. Faultless as she was +herself, faultless was her society--faultless were her dinners. + +Now why is it, that in this wicked world every one of my readers have +associated an idea of insipidity with the description I have just +given? There were no words used which seemed at all to make such +an interpretation necessary, yet in this particular instance it is +certainly the right one. Every thing connected with Mrs. Tudor was +essentially insipid. Perhaps when an excellent woman is married to a +good kind of man, and such was Tudor, it is too much. It gives one +the fidgets at once. But excellent women, particularly if they happen +to have house and fortune in proportion to their good qualities, are +very apt to have very extensive and very eligible acquaintance; and +Castleton could not possibly have made a happier choice of the person +who was to smooth the first entrance of Lucy into her new career. + +Mrs. Tudor was pleased at the extent of the confidence reposed in +her, which Castleton limited to informing her, that his bride was a +young person who had been educated in retirement, and consequently +was not at all prepared for all the ways of the great world. And +though activity was not any part of Mrs. Tudor’s excellence, yet this +was just the sort of quiet exertion which only made her fancy herself +occupied. She immediately fixed an early day for the Castleton’s +to dine with her. Do not let the reader be alarmed with the idea, +that that day is going to be made the subject of minute description. +Suffice it to say, that good nature had, in this instance, its own +reward, in pleasing those whom it was intended to gratify. Faultless +was the dinner, faultless were the guests invited, and faultless, +with pleasure let us add, was Lucy’s deportment during the whole of +that day. Anxious as she had already become as to the impression +which her conduct in these different circumstances should make +upon Castleton, she was on this occasion re-assured by the kind +consideration with which she was treated by all, and therefore bore +her part without discredit or remark on those ordinary topics from +which the conversation never soared. + +From Castleton’s lavish praises of her as they returned home in the +carriage, she felt as if she must have done wonders, and therefore +looked forward without much dread, to the engagement she had made +with Mrs. Tudor, to accompany her the following night to Lady +Delacour’s ball. + +That style of beauty which is defined as the beauty of innocence, +is sometimes supposed to be but little improved by dress; but such +was not the opinion portrayed in the gratified expression of Lord +Castleton’s countenance, when he witnessed the successful result of +his wife’s toilet on the succeeding evening: for he thought he never +saw her look one half so well--which judgment she read at once in +his looks, and felt repaid for all she had gone through. The whole +affair had been to her a most painful infliction. She had been in +turns a victim in the hands of the milliner, the hair-dresser, and +her own maid, each of whose successive operations she had at the time +thought to be never ending. She bore the sufferings of a martyr with +the patience of a saint. But as Castleton, having first sent the +landau for the Tudors, that they might go together, in handing her +into it, cast one more approving glance by the hall lamp, and pressed +her hand encouragingly, she felt as if she was utterly indifferent +as to what any one else thought of her. And though her diffidence +so far returned, upon hearing her name shouted from hall to +landing-place, and doorway to doorway, as to make an “O pray don’t” +half pass her lips, addressed in a supplicatory tone to a peculiarly +stentorian callman; yet upon entering the rooms, her admiration at +the brilliancy of a scene so much beyond what she had previously +conceived possible, gave to her countenance a subdued expression of +enjoyment struggling with embarrassment, which to her style of beauty +was peculiarly becoming. + +As she proceeded, under Mrs. Tudor’s arm, Castleton soon got +separated from her by the crowd of acquaintances, who at that moment +seemed to have no other object there than to welcome him back to +London. After this had a little subsided, whilst jostled by that most +fidgetting, unquiet, unaccommodating of all mobs, the hat-tugging, +gown-tearing mob of fashion, he was of course subject occasionally to +hear remarks which were not meant to meet his ear, but none as yet, +which were not on the whole rather flattering than not. “Who is that +pretty _new_ girl with Mrs. Tudor?” “Where’s the _new_ beauty--have +you seen her?” “Who is that _new_ woman every body is raving about?” +It is true, in all these encomiums, the emphasis was on the word +_new_, as if that was the great attraction; but at the same time, +this, which seemed to imply most in itself, was always coupled with +some favourable adjuncts. + +After a little, when it became more generally known who she was, he +observed that his vicinity often caused some half-vented exclamation +or inquiry to be checked by the nudge of a neighbouring elbow; but +even then this appeared to be more from the opinion being rather free +and familiar in its expression, than unfavourable in its nature. +He thought it as well to avoid as much as possible the running +any more risks of this kind, and therefore, making his way out of +that apartment where the crowd was thickest, he came unexpectedly +in the next upon a select circle of admiring listeners, of which +Lady Gayland was the centre of attraction. Their eyes met at the +same instant; one moment she paused, though in the very agony of +a half-finished _bon mot_. She hesitated one moment more, then +stretched out her hand to him, saying, “How is Lady Castleton? Is she +here?” + +Mumbling his reply to this, from her, unexpected question, he passed +on. She renewed her sentence, but somehow omitted its point. Her +hearers were much disappointed thereat, though some who listened +were not aware of the fact. Amongst them was a foreign nobleman, to +whom our old acquaintance, Peter Spencer, much to her annoyance, +was showing off Lady Gayland, as a sort of literary lioness. The +Count Finale was a gentlemanlike, inoffensive man, who had been +much puzzled, upon first coming to this country, which of the two +alternatives, offered to every foreigner, he had better select,--the +could and would speak English line, or not. This is a very awkward +choice to make, and there are so many disadvantages both ways, that +it is really difficult to know which to recommend. All foreigners +now, after a manner, speak English, and few like to do it, but they +must profess both or neither, in the first case they are much more +generally well received, but get much less separate attention. They +have more acquaintance but less society; for it is impossible that +they can for some time make out the clipped, slovenly colloquy, in +which so much the greater part of common conversation passes current. +But the Count Finale had at length taken upon himself the alternative +of assumed knowledge, the consequence of which was, that he was at +the present moment in the most disagreeable situation for a gallant +man, that of appearing to be more amused than he really was with a +beautiful woman; for Lady Gayland’s thoughts flowed in much too rapid +sketches for him to be able to follow them. + +“You are not aware, my dear Count,” said Peter Spencer, “that Lady +Gayland is a dweller on Parnassus--that she makes up an even _half +score_ with the _Nine_; indeed, there’s hardly a _muse_ whose +department she might not double with advantage, upon occasion.” + +The habitual inattention which she always extended to every saying of +Peter Spencer’s, might account for her taking no notice whatever of +this pretty speech, without its being necessary to suppose that her +thoughts were just then straying after that mental will-o’-the-wisp, +the memory of by-gone visions. But Sir North Saunders, who was +standing by, was determined not to let the conversation drop, +therefore continued-- + +“Seen Lady Gayland’s last little work--eh! Count?” + +“O pray, Sir North, don’t talk of one’s _work_, it sounds so +mechanical--savours much more of the tambour frame than the printing +press. Besides, work was a very appropriate description, when the +brain was distilled by midnight oil in a lonely garret. But now the +stud of letters is as light as the lives of the authors, who first +_amuse_ themselves, as the best way of _amusing_ their readers. +Formerly even _plays_ were _works_, but now any _work_ is but _play_. +Besides, from the days of Byron downwards, if an author has passions +he puts them into poetry--if foibles, he owns them with only the +additional lackering of some imaginary merit, confesses himself +grand but faulty--doubly gratifies his vanity, by being himself his +own theme--puts but a little gilt paper upon the blackest parts of +his character, and, in this May day finery, presents himself to an +admiring world.” + +Lord Castleton, who had been hovering near, again approached, time +enough to catch most of the last speech, and said more to the speaker +herself, than those whom she had been addressing, + +“Heaven forefend that I should ever take pen in hand; but if I did, +it would be to use myself as a warning, not a model. It would be +from the reverse of my own sentiments I should expect sympathy--from +a contrast to my own conduct I should promise happiness.” + +Lady Gayland cast one penetrating glance upon him, as if wishing +to detect whether there was any particular meaning attached to so +extraordinary an avowal; and then saying, “And this from a newly +married man too, _che vergogna_,” she passed on. + + + + + CHAPTER III. + + Methinks I play as I have seen them + In Whitsun past’rals: sure this robe of mine + Does change my disposition. + + We are come to this great stage of fools-- + Wilt stay and see the revellers? + SHAKSPEARE. + + +Lucy had been very much admired by all to whom Mrs. Tudor had +introduced her. A sweet smile, gentle manners, and the absence of +any kind of pretension, are quite enough to be supposed agreeable, +as well as attractive, by new acquaintances, in a mixed crowd. She +was quite equal to reciprocating comments upon the merits of the +fête, with those who, after presentation, hazarded two or three +commonplace sentences; and if she did use an out-of-the-way phrase +upon such an occasion, it was only reckoned original. Whilst thus +occupied, she observed her kind friend of Hornscliff Abbey intently +gazing on her, who, as soon as she saw that she was remarked, +advanced towards Mrs. Tudor, and begged to be presented to Lady +Castleton. Lucy was first puzzled at her former friend thinking +it necessary to go through that ceremony, and to treat her as a +stranger; but when Mrs. Tudor turned away to speak to some one, +Lady Gayland said in somewhat an under tone, “Forgive me, dear Lady +Castleton, if I suggest to you that, considering the circumstances +under which we last met, it should not be known that we ever did meet +before. It sounds odd advice; but I should particularly recommend +that Lord Castleton should not know it. He is so very old an +acquaintance of mine, that I think he will be better pleased in not +knowing that I am also an old acquaintance of yours. But to prove +to you that I consider myself as such, will you take a turn with me +whilst Mrs. Tudor there is curing the cholera? You will see much +more, by changing the pair of eyes by which you are shown all this +phantasmagoria.” So saying, she linked her arm in Lucy’s, and they +paraded through the suite of rooms. + +As they passed along, the flattering admiration of the surrounding +throng was equally lost on both, though the sensations which produced +that disregard were widely dissimilar. In one it arose from simple +unconsciousness of the effect she produced, in the other from mere +dislike at the open demonstration of that which she felt nevertheless +to be her due. + +“My dear Lady Castleton,” said her companion; “I have no doubt you +feel very strange in this unknown crowd.” + +“O I do indeed! and if you only knew how delightful it is to find +myself talking with one, who I know, from experience, would on +occasion be so kind to me:” and she clung more closely to Lady +Gayland’s arm as she said it. + +“Yes, but I am afraid that if here no one was to talk, except with +those whom they knew, if occasion served, would be kind to them, that +it would rather resemble the Temple of Silence, than the Babel it now +is. If I could only label these moving figures for your instruction, +you would be astonished how soon you would get to know as much of +them, as many who have for years what is called _lived_ in their set. +From a little observation, you would be able to detect whether they +had neglected their dentist, enriched their milliner, or cashiered +their _coiffeur_; and that is about the whole knowledge which their +friends, called intimate, have collected concerning them. This is +called by some a mere marriage mart; that is, however, only one +department in the bazaar of fashion; but the whole is, after all, but +a sort of face-fair--a show of bipeds; and the stock know about as +much of each other, as bullocks would from standing next stall.” + +“But surely you, Lady Gayland, are an exception; ever since I have +been with you, you have spoken to so many people as if you knew them +so well; and not one but has seemed to long to linger with you, had +you not passed on.” + +“Why I, to be sure, upon the principle that lookers on see most of +the game--I, who, having no husband, have not either to watch or +be watched, and have, likewise, no daughter to mind, or mother to +mind me, I am let a little behind the scenes, which only lets me +a thousand times more into the secret of the advantages of your +present position, as an unseen _debutante_. Why any mother in the +room would think her daughter’s fortune certain, and would begin to +criticise incumbrances in any offer beneath a dukedom, who had had +half the pretty things said of her, that have this night been said of +you; but that could only be the first night. No one knows so well as +chaperon chapwomen the converse of the French proverb, _Marchandise +que plait, est à moitié vendue_. But I forget; perhaps you do not +understand French,” added she kindly. + +“No, indeed! I do not at all,” said Lucy, “though Castleton don’t +like me to say so.” Adding this domestic explanation in a tone which +perfectly conveyed to her auditress, “Though I have volunteered the +confession, do not betray me to him.” + +“It is my fault for expressing myself in speckled language. It is +a great fault, I own. A foreign phrase, like a piebald horse, has +nothing to excuse the oddity of its use, but its being faultless and +perfect in its form, and peculiarly adapted to the purpose to which +it is applied. But see! here comes an old acquaintance of yours, Sir +North Saunders; never mind, do not fear his recognizing you, for he +moves about in a perpetual halo of selfishness, which prevents his +clearly distinguishing what does not concern himself.” + +As she finished this piece of advice to Lucy, Sir North approached +Lady Gayland, and addressed her. + +“Permit--in offering, as usual, adoration at my accustomed +shrine,--may be allowed to add farther offerings at the side altar +that now distracts my devotion. Will you present me to our friend’s +beautiful bride, Lady Castleton?” + +“Sir North Saunders, as the most gallant of men, is naturally +anxious to make the acquaintance of his friend’s beautiful bride. +Lord Castleton is his friend--you are the beautiful bride. Lady +Castleton--Sir North Saunders! Sir North Saunders--Lady Castleton. +There, that’s quite in order, is not it? And now permit the neglected +shrine to move itself out of the renegade’s way.” And she took Lady +Castleton’s other arm, which brought Lucy next to Sir North, who +addressed her, + +“Never more thoroughly convinced of the pre-eminence of Castleton’s +universally acknowledged taste.” + +A formal curvature of his short fat figure was meant to complete the +compliment inferred in this half finished sentence; but Lucy only +looked confused and uneasy, as she could not yet persuade herself +that those little grey eyes, which she had last seen fixed on her, +with all the assumed appearance of intense scrutiny, could so soon +have ceased to reflect any trace of her identity. Sir North therefore +continued-- + +“Earliest friend--flatter myself, of Castleton.--Came of age as +Horncliffe--arrived at years of discretion--rather _volage_ in +those days. You ladies never like your husbands the worse for that, +in the preterpluperfect time. Hope to have the pleasure of seeing +you at Hornscliff Abbey. Your friend, Lady Gayland, behaved very +shabbily,--actually run away--second day--mus’n’t do that.” + +“My dear Sir North, you know I was obliged, and couldn’t help myself; +but I assure you, Lady Castleton, you’ll find Sir North sometimes +tyrannical in the extent to which he pushes hospitality. Do you know, +now, if he thought there was any chance of your making your escape, +I shouldn’t wonder if he was actually to lock you up. Only think of +that--lock you up,--yes, positively keep you under lock and key!” + +“Really, my dear Lady, that is rather a worn-out attack upon me. +However, it is, to be sure, perfectly new to Lady Castleton. You +don’t know, perhaps, that this joke originated in Lady Gayland’s +having taken a prodigious fancy to the society of a pretty vagrant, +brought up before me as a disorderly person. Poz--believe she left +Hornscliff, because I wouldn’t ask the fair tramper to my table.” + +“Come, Sir North, you had better say no more on that subject,” said +Lady Gayland, seeing it distressed Lucy. “I can assure you Lady +Castleton won’t think the better of you for it.” + +“Scrupulously avoid any unfavourable impression in such a +quarter.--Hope to be able to convince you that Hornscliff is not such +a dungeon. Not much used, apparently, to the hardships of rural +routine. No fear of being exposed to the fatigues of sight-seeing +at Hornscliff,--never be required to pound along in clogs. Confine +yourself, if you like, to the thirty-yard terrace, along which Mrs. +Macangle used once, before dusk, to glide, in green satin slippers, +to match its velvety surface.” + +“I’ll tell you what, though, Sir North,” said Lady Gayland, “if I had +staid at Hornscliff Abbey, I should have voted your terrace _flat_ as +well as level. A country morning ought to be as varied as a London +evening; though the monotony of the first half of the day here, and +the latter there, is unavoidable. + +“Always ready to adapt myself to the taste of my guests. Once,--years +ago, when your husband was a very young man, Lady Castleton, I +remember we did make a most extraordinary expedition to a strange +out-of-the-way place, called Morden Bay. But if Castleton ever +mentioned the circumstance, I dare say his recollection was not of +the distance being so formidable, for he was in love then.” + +“In love!” thought Lucy. “Was his early partiality for me, then, +already suspected?” + +“Don’t be alarmed, Lady Castleton. She of whom I speak,” continued +Sir North, “could never have been your rival, even if she had been +your contemporary; but hers was the reign of another generation. Poor +Lady Madelina Manfred! Castleton was her last conquest--certainly +made the most of him while it lasted. Ah, Castleton, just in time to +prevent the exposure of your past peccadilloes to your wife.” + +Castleton gave him an inquiring stare, which seemed to say, “I do +think you very impertinent, but I won’t tell you so for fear of +provoking a continuance of the same:” and then turning to Lady +Gayland, said earnestly, “I cannot tell you how kind I think it of +_you_ to have taken such care of my inexperienced _debutante_.” + +There was a slight emphasis on the words “_of you_,” which might +imply that it was what he had no reason to expect of her in +particular; but if such was its signification, Lady Gayland took no +notice of it, only replying, “I have been endeavouring to persuade +Lady Castleton to accompany me to my box at the opera tomorrow night; +she says she has never been there.” + +Castleton would have found it difficult to separate the notions, or +to analyze the feelings, which induced him so readily to accept this +offer of Lady Gayland’s. And it was thus they separated the first +night of their renewed acquaintance, after a long interval, and under +much altered circumstances. Castleton was in spirits during the +return homewards; and as soon as they had deposited the Tudors, and +he was left alone with Lucy, delighted her with his praises of her +deportment during the whole evening, saying, “I am sure you must have +been all I could have wished, to have pleased Lady Gayland.” + +“Well, I am sure,” said Lucy, “she is the person next to yourself +whose good opinion I should most wish to gain.” + +But in spite of this, which was indeed the utterance of her real +feelings towards that lady, Lucy was not quite contented with +herself, or with that society which had produced such a feeling of +self-dissatisfaction on her part. It would have been inconvenient, +considering Castleton’s dislike to such a discovery, to have been +recognized by Sir North; but it is never very welcome to a young and +pretty woman to have been so soon and so completely forgotten, even +by Sir North Saunders, particularly as the terms in which alone her +other self had been mentioned were so little flattering. She could +not but remember that she was still the same person; that it was no +difference either in her character or identity, but merely the act of +another, which caused her to be now so differently considered in that +society to which he had raised her. + +But the part which hurt her most was the new version which had that +night been given by Sir North, to the attraction which rendered +interesting to Castleton his former visit to Morden Bay. + +Lucy’s diffidence as to her own merits and unlimited sense of +Castleton’s superiority, had often made her wonder why, courted as +she saw he still was, admired as she believed he must always have +been, he should nevertheless have diverged from his natural sphere +of triumph on purpose to win her from her remote seclusion. Yet with +all her modest astonishment that such should have been the case, she +still clung to the idea that at dear Morden Bay, at least, she was +supreme, that there “her reign there was none to dispute;” and of +all the splendid gifts with which he had presented her since their +marriage, there was none in her eyes which had half the value of +the little French watch given on the occasion of that first visit +to Morden Bay, and to which she always referred with pleasure, as +proving the consistency and permanence of his attachment, whenever +a painful sensation of inferiority made her almost question its +possibility. + +The idea, therefore, started by Sir North, that at that time it was +the company of another which alone made the expedition to Morden Bay +tolerable to him, was most annoying to Lucy. She longed to question +her husband on the subject, but dared not. + +This was an unfortunate effect of the timidity which rather +increased towards him, the longer they continued to live together, +without establishing any habits of confidence between them, which, +though most indulgent to her in every other respect, Castleton +never encouraged, from feeling a growing distrust of the power of +her intellect to reciprocate confidential communications. Had she +happily ventured to mention what Sir North had hinted to her, of the +companion he had had tacked to him at the time of that expedition, +Lucy would have found with pleasure, that nothing had so much +contributed to the cure of the sickly delusion under which Castleton +was then labouring, as the first sight of herself on the shore of +Morden Bay. + + + + + CHAPTER IV. + + She, ’midst the gay world’s hum, + Was the queen-bee--the glass of all that’s fair; + Whose charms made all men speak, and women dumb-- + The last’s a miracle. + BYRON. + + That strain again--It had a dying fall; + O it came o’er my ear like the sweet south + That breathes upon a bank of violets, + Stealing and giving odour. Enough--no more-- + ’Tis not so sweet now as it was before. + SHAKSPEARE. + + +It so happened that the Italian Opera was the first scenic exhibition +of any description at which Lucy had ever been present. If such +amusements had been of easier attainment from Bankside Farm, Mrs. +Darnell would have thought a play-bill only a synonymous term for +a sure pass to perdition. Alice Darnell, it is true, through all +her sorrows, had always retained a lingering partiality for a +“metior,” in which she had during her short career been so eminently +successful; and she often took pleasure in attempting to explain to +her little niece, whilst reading parts of Shakspeare, the effect +that might be produced by the impersonation of the characters by +different actors; but still, no previous description can give to a +person who has never witnessed it, any adequate idea of the power of +perfect dramatic representation. Lucy would have been much astonished +if taken for the first time to one of our great national theatres, +where she would at least have understood the language, and made out +the intentions of the performers. But Castleton was, except upon +extraordinary occasions, a creature of habit. Winter was past--spring +was already advanced. As Covent Garden market comes into season, +Covent Garden Theatre goes out, and Lucy was taken for the first +time, to the Italian Opera; and to the effect of novelty which +any thing of the kind would have produced on her, were added the +perfectly unintelligible incongruities of that style of performance. + +Perhaps when given in perfection, there is no description of scenic +representation which opens a more varied source of enjoyment to an +habitual frequenter of theatres. But then the rudiments of dramatic +representation must have been first understood. The merits of an +accurate imitation of nature must not only first have been tasted, +but the pleasure derived from that pure source, must in some measure +have been exhausted, before the graft of song upon incident and +character, could be relished. + +There is, perhaps, nothing yet produced by the progress of +civilization, so thoroughly artificial as an Italian opera; and to a +child of nature like Lucy, it may be imagined, that much that night +was perfectly incomprehensible. As long as deadly defiance is hurled +in the most perfect concord--voices ringing in harmony, whilst swords +are brandishing in enmity--the crisis of fate consumed in repeating, +some hundred times, some Italian paraphrase of “I cannot stay, I +must away,” which practical performance of an alleged impossibility, +is probably encored--the most confidential communications of the +most disordered despair given over the lamps in the most elaborate +_roulades_, whilst four-and-twenty old maids all in a row, repeat +together at stated intervals “Poor thing! Poor thing--how very +much we all pity you!”--whilst thus upon every occasion sense is +sacrificed to sound, it would appear that assumption of character +must be a mere mockery. Yet this is far from being the case. In +losing the verisimility of nature, the unity of effect as a whole is +of course destroyed; yet so powerful is the additional impulse given +to the excited senses, by the aid of appropriate music adapted to the +action portrayed, that perhaps much the most brilliant movements of +the mimic art have been of late years on the Italian boards. And the +night in question was rich in examples of that description, for the +opera was Semiramide, and the finest living actress of the world, the +splendid Pasta, was the heroine. + +Lady Gayland’s box was upon the pit tier, more upon the stage than +over the orchestra. Lady Gayland, passionately fond of music as she +was, had already arrived when Castleton and his wife entered. Lady +Castleton sat in front next the stage, Lady Gayland on the opposite +side, with her back to the audience, and Castleton beside her. Partly +from the earliness of the hour, and partly from the interest of the +performance of that opera, then new to this country, they remained +long without any additional visitors. Every thing was a matter of +bewilderment to Lucy, from the very first crash of the overture, +which, except the war of the winter waves, was the loudest sound she +had ever heard. + +As subjects of astonishment and admiration accumulated in the opera, +she became confused with their multitude, and ashamed to show the +extent to which she was puzzled, by asking any questions. Lady +Gayland’s good-natured attempt to explain the story as it proceeded, +was not very successful, as Lucy could not retain either the real or +assumed names of the persons described, so as to be able to identify +them again; and the nature of the (to her) strange costumes, puzzled +her even as to which were meant for men, and which for women. The +choruses she could not at all understand. She longed to ask how +so many people could think of singing exactly the same words all +together, unless it had been a psalm. The finely executed elongation +of a high note, to her ignorant simplicity, seemed only an unmeaning +squall. + +In the mean time, Castleton and Lady Gayland were in a state of +ecstasy only known to the true “Fanatici,” an enjoyment certainly +much enhanced to both of them by their being able mutually to +communicate their sensations. It has been remarked, that the peculiar +character of Castleton was the refinement of his taste, which was on +some occasions much too fastidious for his happiness; but in nothing +was his taste more perfect than in music, though he was often too +much of an enthusiast to be a very captious critic. + +Castleton and Lady Gayland had often together heard and admired Pasta +in the same opera in Italy; and whilst they therefore anticipated +the brilliancy of each well-known passage, or subsequently discussed +its comparative merit, now and the last time they had heard it, Lucy +could not conceive how it was possible for any one to remember sounds +so long. + +Perhaps that sympathy which depends on sound is, of all others, the +most independent of events, the most survives change, or despises +distance. It may be, that when any similarity occurs, the points of +difference are not so distinguishable by the ear as by the eye; but +certainly in foreign lands the tone of a bell, or even the whistling +of the wind, will sometimes recall a distant home more strongly than +any likeness in the outline of the landscape. And amongst individuals +the recollection of a loved and a lost one is sometimes casually +revived by a well-known intonation, or even emphasis, in the mouth +of an indifferent relative, when no family resemblance of feature +would have been admitted. Be this as it may, the impression now made +on Castleton and Lady Gayland, as the opera proceeded, and each +well-remembered cadence recurred was, that here again were the same +syren sounds which they had together heard, together admired. Even so +had they then sat, side by side; yet how changed in every respect now +was their relative position! + +“I remember,” said Castleton, in answer to some remark of Lady +Gayland’s, “you made a similar observation to me last time we heard +it--it was the night before I left Naples.” + +“Yes,” said Lady Gayland, “and Frank Melmoth was sitting, as it might +be, where Lady Castleton now is--I have never seen him either, since +that night.” + +“You have never seen him since that night?” + +“No; the pennyless treasurer passed on to his appropriate post in one +of the colonies.” + +“And after that night you _never_ saw him?” eagerly asked Castleton. + +“Never,” replied Lady Gayland calmly, clearing her “_longnettes_,” +and directing them towards the stage with a “_sang froid_” that +seemed to convey the idea that the fact was one which neither had +then made any impression on her, nor did she wish that its recital +should now make any on her auditor. + +It will not be necessary to inflict on the reader any speculation +upon the nature of those mixed reflections which, during the next +few minutes of silence, whilst they were apparently absorbed in +attention to the performance, distracted the attention of the two +musical amateurs. It will be sufficient to explain that this Frank +Melmoth was rather a popular character, though what is commonly +called a cool hand. It was impossible to deny that he was amusing; +though not witty, he was funny,--a characteristic acquired by a +mixture of impudence and humour, which forms a sort of chemical +compound, often substituted for the real attic salt. There were +moments when it rather suited Lady Gayland’s humour to be amused +than interested, and of these Frank Melmoth availed himself during +his stay at Naples, on his way to the distant sinecure which his +necessities had obliged him to accept. A widow is said to be the +reverse of a sinecure, but he thought that a jointure, even with +its lively accompaniment, was better than being buried alive with +a pension; and therefore did his best to win her favour: in which +attempt he soon detected Castleton to be a formidable rival; and in +his endeavours to overcome that obstacle, Frank Melmoth was up to +a certain point successful. He had certainly most powerful weapons +with which to work, in Lady Gayland’s keen relish for ridicule, and +Castleton’s morbid sense of its slightest application to himself. Not +only did he sometimes succeed in amusing Lady Gayland at Castleton’s +expense, but in causing her demonstration of that amusement to be +offensive to Castleton’s taste, as well as hurtful to his feelings. +Lady Gayland was afraid that she had already shown herself too +sensible of the partiality of her sensitive admirer, to render these +playful ebullitions on her part of more than momentary impression; +but Castleton, whose feelings were too irritable on this subject +for his judgment to be very sound, thought that he perceived in her +readiness, when in a merry mood, to seek amusement from the society +of Frank Melmoth, another proof that (like the young lady whom he +mentioned in his letter to his friend St. Clair,) if she hesitated +between them, it was only the adventitious advantages of his +position in the world which rendered her choice doubtful, otherwise +her preference would have been decidedly accorded to the needy Frank +Melmoth. + +This was an opinion which Frank did every thing in his power to +confirm. He had, indeed, induced Castleton by this means to hasten +his departure from Naples, and as he was obliged himself to proceed +soon, if not successful in his then pursuit, he had succeeded +in driving Castleton from the box at San Carlo that night, _in +dispetto_ with himself, and fancying that he was leaving behind a +triumphant rival, who five minutes afterwards brought upon himself +the sudden termination of all his hopes by an abrupt proposal, which +was summarily and concisely rejected, and the next morning, which +saw Castleton flying with foaming steeds in imaginary discomfiture +over the Pontine Marshes, saw Frank Melmoth thoroughly defeated, +paddling in a sulky steam-boat out of the bay of Naples. It may +therefore be seen, that if in the reflections which the same opera, +seen again together, mutually aroused, there was any food for +regret--that regret could on neither side be entirely unmingled +with self-reproach. Thoughtlessness had made Lady Gayland assume +the appearance of what she was far from being--a coquette; and in +Castleton’s case, distrust of himself had made him most unjust to +another whom he had then no right to doubt. + +Towards the conclusion of the opera, these reflections were +interrupted by the dropping in, in succession, of many “a young man +about town,” _habitués_ of Lady Gayland’s box, whose nightly visit +had this time a double motive, as they were all anxious to have a +nearer view of the “new woman,” whom they had been admiring from a +distance. + +At the conclusion of the opera, this rotation proceeded rapidly; +and Lucy was presented to an undistinguishable succession of young +gentlemen, with black heads and neckcloths, who had each hardly time +to mutter, “how divine Pasta had been!” when another and another +still succeeded. + +Through all this Castleton had kept his station by the side of Lady +Gayland, by a sort of brevet rank, which the presence of his bride +gave him. Latterly, the society had again become more stationary. +Next to Castleton was his friend St. Clair, with whom he was soon +engaged in an interesting conversation. Opposite to them was Lord +Stayinmore, who had never more than a certain set of phrases to +address to a lady. Having exhausted these to Lucy, he suffered +himself to be engrossed by Sir North, on his other side, in a +political discussion. + +Lady Gayland, therefore, took the opportunity of inquiring of Lucy, +“how the opera had amused her?” There was that unmistakable air of +real interest in Lady Gayland’s manner, whenever she addressed Lucy, +which made her always reply in a tone of confidence, different from +that which she felt towards any other member of the society in which +she moved. + +“Why, to tell the honest truth,” said she, leaning forward towards +her questioner, “I can’t say that I could the least understand what +it all meant. It’s not likely that people should sing when they’re in +such sorrow; and then I can’t guess why that young man should kill +the queen that was so kind to him all along.” + +“I don’t wonder that that should surprise you, my dear; but he was +not aware of what he was doing. It was in the dark.” + +“In the dark! But I could see very well who it was, though I did not +know her so well as he did, and was so much farther off.” + +“I am afraid you are in the dark, too, a little as yet,” said Lady +Gayland, (tapping her gently with her fan.) “But, tell me, did you +not admire the singing, though you could not understand the story?” + +“Why, I should, perhaps, if I had known the language; but even then +they seemed to me more like birds, than men and women singing words. +I like a song that I can make out every word that’s said, just as +cousin George used to sing.” + +She rather dropped her voice at the last half sentence, but not so +much as for it to escape the quick ear of Castleton, who turned +sharply round, even before Lady Gayland asked, “And who, pray, is +cousin George, my dear?” + +“A relative of Lady Castleton’s, who is in the navy,” answered +Castleton for her; and then turned round to St. Clair again, as if, +though having heard it he had answered it, it was nevertheless a +question of no moment. + +The overture to the ballet, just then commencing with a crash, Lady +Gayland took advantage of that moment to beckon Lucy towards her, and +whisper, “At Hornscliff that day, was he not?” and on her assenting, +Lady Gayland raised her finger to her lip in token of silence on the +subject. + +The curtain then rose for the ballet; at first, Lucy was delighted +with the scenery and pageantry, for the spectacle was grand and +imposing. But at length the resounding plaudits announced the +_entrée_ of the perfect Taglioni. Lucy was a little astonished at her +costume upon her first appearance. She was attired as a goddess, and +goddesses’ gowns are somewhat of the shortest, and their legs rather +_au naturel_; but when she came to elicit universal admiration by +pointing her toe, and revolving in the slow _pirouette_, Lucy, from +the situation in which she sat, was overpowered with shame at the +effect; and whilst Lady Gayland, with her _longnette_ fixed on the +stage, ejaculated, “Beautiful! inimitable!” the unpractised Lucy +could not help exclaiming, “O that is too bad! I cannot stay to see +that!” and she turned her head away, blushing deeply. + +“Is your ladyship ill?” exclaimed Lord Stayinmore. “Castleton, I am +afraid Lady Castleton feels herself indisposed.” + +“Would you like to go?” kindly inquired Castleton. + +“O so much!” she answered. + +“Are you ill, my dear?” asked Lady Gayland. + +“O no!” she said. + +“Then you had better stay, it is so beautiful.” + +“Thank you, Lord Castleton is kind enough to let me go.” + +Which he did, still imagining that she had been suddenly taken ill. +Therefore St. Clair volunteered to call her carriage--Lord Stayinmore +bowed his lowest as she passed--Sir North reached his highest to +help her on with her cloak--Lady Gayland took leave of her most +kindly--and Castleton attending her with the greatest care, she was +safely conveyed to the carriage; and it was not till then that he +entreated an explanation of what had really been the cause of her +sudden departure. + + + + + CHAPTER V. + + Oh, brave new world, + That hath such people in it! + SHAKSPEARE. + + Those that are good manners at the court, are as + ridiculous in the country. + SHAKSPEARE. + + +“And how do you find yourself now, my dear Lucy?” tenderly inquired +Castleton, as the carriage drove off. + +“O I am quite well, thank you.” + +“Quite well! are you? What was it, then, that was the matter with +you?” + +“There was nothing the matter with me; it was that woman.” + +“What woman? what can you mean? Did you not say that you were ill; +and was not that the reason that we hurried away?” + +“No! YOU said I was ill; and I did not contradict you, because you +tell me that in the world, as you call it, it is not always right +to give the real reason for what we do; and therefore I thought, +perhaps, that though of course you wished me to come away, you liked +to put it upon my being ill.” + +“Of course I wished you to come away! I was never more unwilling to +move in all my life; and nothing but consideration for your health +would have induced me to stir. Why should I have wished you to come +away?” + +“Why, the naked woman,” stammered Lucy. + +“What can you mean?” + +“You couldn’t surely wish me to sit by the side of those people, to +see such a thing as that?” + +“As to being by the side of those people, I must remind you, that +it was Lady Gayland’s box in which you were; and that whatever she, +with her acknowledged taste and refinement, sanctions with her +presence, can only be objected to by ignorance or prejudice. You have +still a great deal to learn, my dear Lucy,” added he, more kindly; +“and nothing can be so fatal to your progress in that respect, as +your attempting to lead, or to find fault, with what you do not +understand.” + +“But surely I can understand that it is not right to do what I saw +that woman do,” interrupted Lucy, presuming a little more doggedly +than she usually ventured to do on any subject with her husband; for +this time she had been really shocked by what she had seen. + +“Wrong it certainly is not, if you mean moral wrong. As to such an +exhibition being becoming or not in point of manners, that depends +entirely upon custom. Many things at your father’s might strike +me as coarsenesses, which made no impression upon you from habit, +though much worse in my opinion than this presumed indecorum. Those +things probably arose from ignorance on your parts, which might be +corrected. This, on the other hand, from conventional indifference, +consequent on custom, which it is not in you to correct. Depend upon +it you will only get yourself laughed at, and me too, if you preach +about dancers’ petticoats.” + +“I don’t want to preach to any body; and you know how much it fashes +me to contend with you.” + +“Don’t say FASHES, say distresses, or annoys, not _fashes_, for +heaven’s sake, my dear Lucy.” + +“O dear, it was very stupid of me to forget it. That was one of the +first things you taught me, and it is a many days since I said it +last; but it is so strange to me to venture to differ with you, that +I get confused, and don’t say any thing as right as I could do. Even +now I should like to ask, if modesty is a merit, whether nakedness +ought to be a show; but I’ll say no more, for I dare say you won’t +make me go there again.” + +“No, that will be the best way to settle it. Certainly, if it is no +enjoyment to you, it would be much better that you should not go at +all, than make yourself particular by imagining evil where there is +none. One thing more I must remark to you, and I may as well do it +at once, as I had always rather get over any thing that assumes the +odious shape of a lecture, and have done with it.” + +“I know what you are going to say, I’m sure,” said Lucy, feeling +rather bolder than usual, from her present position. The obscurity, +easy motion, and rumbling accompaniment of a London chariot, have +often promoted confidences which no other relative situations have +elicited. “I know what you are going to say. I ought not to have +thought about cousin George.” + +“Thought about him! no! It was not that I meant. I was going to say, +that no person in good society talks about COUSIN George. Call him +_George_, if you must mention him; though his accomplishments cannot +be a very interesting topic to any one you are likely to see here. I +am sure if he had been known to them, the idea of your boasting of +his singing must have seemed still more absurd. Stentorian lungs, and +uproarious merriment, must have been his principal qualifications.” + +“Indeed, he could sing with great feeling sometimes,” Lucy could not +help adding; and then checking herself, “but I ought certainly to +have recollected, that you have no reason to like him; and though in +his case you returned good for evil, you are not like to fancy much +hearing him praised by me.” + +This was not exactly the footing upon which Castleton would have +wished to have left the subject, but just then the carriage stopped +at home, and Lucy, when he handed her out said, + +“I am so very sorry that I have _annoyed_ you; that’s the right word, +is not it? And I’m sure it’s the right feeling.” + +After this he could not but think that any renewal of any of the +topics in dispute, would be unkind and harsh on his part. + +“I wish to ask a great favour, my dear Lord,” said Lucy, anxiously, +as they were seated the next morning at breakfast. + +“Speak on, my dear,” said he, rather fearing some unsuitable request. + +“I wish you would be good enough to tell me how I could make myself +most like Lady Gayland.” + +“Make yourself like Lady Gayland! why should you wish it?” inquired +he, at once struck with the impossibility of her succeeding in such +an attempt. + +“Because I feel that I admire her even more than I love her, and that +is difficult.--So easy in her cleverness as she is, and so kind to +others--so good as she was to me once!” + +“Once! when?” + +“I should have said _always_, for she is always kind to me.” + +“My dear Lucy, I will not pretend to be otherwise than much pleased +at the desire you have expressed; which shows that you must have +taste to appreciate what you desire to imitate. But at the same +time, believe me, there would be nothing more impossible to imitate +than that ease, or rather absence of effect in cleverness, which +struck even you so much in Lady Gayland. You have a thousand other +charms of your own equally estimable, but perhaps the greatest is +that perfect nature which is incompatible with imitation. One thing, +however, I can recommend, as you introduced the subject, and think +not in alluding to it I am reviving, with any unpleasant feeling, the +occurrences of yesterday evening. But if my pretty little Lucy need +not attempt to be like, as little need she endeavour to be unlike, +Lady Gayland; and if you do not emulate as necessary, as little +need you avoid as wrong, any thing you observe in that accomplished +person.” + +“At any rate if it is only to direct me thus far, I hope at least you +think that the more I see of Lady Gayland the better.” + +And to this Lucy received no negative from Castleton. + +Lady Gayland probably deceived herself in the nature of the motives +and feelings which induced her to acquiesce in the desire, equally +obvious on the part both of Castleton and Lucy, that their +intercourse with her should ripen into intimacy. She certainly +thought that the interest with which Lucy had inspired her, did not +depend at all upon the person she had married, but that, on the +contrary, had Castleton married any one else, past recollection +would have induced her rather to avoid him. The singular nature of +her first meeting with Lucy, combined with the strange coincidence +of her again crossing her path in so different a rank in life, and +the mystery in which that elevation was involved, would in her +imaginative brain have given a romantic charm to the acquaintance, +independent of the fact, that the precise fate which must have been +so unexpectedly thrust on her, whom she had known so forlorn and +lonely, was what, till lately, she had herself considered as one +which was hers either to accept or refuse. + +Lady Gayland’s proud spirit, and conscious elevation of intellect, +would certainly prevent her from long pining after one who had +appeared to slight her preference; and the manner of Castleton’s +departure from Naples had undoubtedly exposed him to such an +imputation. But during their mutual residence in Italy, Castleton +had certainly made a serious impression on one whose heart was as +sensitive as her fancy was volatile. Sympathy of feeling is by +no means inconsistent with contrast in character. Her exuberant +spirits animated his more placid sense of enjoyment; and a smile of +approbation from him conferred more pleasure on her, than the noisy +applause of others. Her brilliant wit excited his dormant fancy into +more active exertion, which the fastidiousness of his taste might +otherwise have checked; and the acknowledged correctness of that +taste confined the soaring flights of her fancy within the limits +of approval. Thus the very variety of their genius only elicited, in +greater perfection, that cultivation of intellect which was equally +remarkable in both; and whilst rivalry was thus avoided, admiration +was reciprocal. + + + + + CHAPTER VI. + + And looking stedfastly at her, she sighed, + As if she pitied her for being there, + A pretty stranger without friend or guide, + And all abash’d, too, at the general stare. + BYRON. + + +“I have invited a few friends to dine with us,” said Castleton, some +little time after the incidents of the last chapter. “I suppose you +will wish Lady Gayland to be one.” + +“O by all means,” readily answered Lucy. “I always feel so much more +at my ease when she is by; not only she is always so kind to me; but +wherever _she_ is, every one must be occupied with her, so that if I +am awkward or not, no one has leisure to mark it.” + +Castleton, whose dinners had always been “_recherché_,” as a +batchelor, had hitherto felt nervous as to Lucy’s being able to pass +the critical examination of a long London dinner, but at last having +for some time not detected any glaring impropriety in her deportment, +he became again desirous to collect his friends around him at his own +table. + +It has been remarked before, that neither politics nor any of the +graver avocations of life had ever had much charm for Castleton. +Society, which to men of more active pursuits is but a relaxation, +was to him an occupation. It was the field in which must be +maintained his position as a critic, connoisseur, and man of +unrivalled taste. And where society is a _métier_, the man who gives +dinners differs as much from one who does not, as the _ins_ from the +_outs_ in politics,--one may earn some empty fame, but the other has +the real following. + +On the evening of Castleton’s first dinner, Lucy had finished her +toilet early. Anxious to gratify her husband with a change, she had +for the first time adopted a novelty in her costume--abandoning her +usual ringlets, she had had her fine hair simply parted across her +forehead, adopting this mode, though not so much in the fashion, in +imitation of Lady Gayland, on whom she had often admired its effect. + +Perhaps, generally speaking, it would be as safe to ape oddity +of conversation without the wit which excites it, as to imitate +any peculiarity in dress, which might only be becoming to its +inventor. But in this instance, Lucy’s attempt was successful, for +the same chaste classical setting which added elevation to the +thought-thronged brow of her gifted prototype, suited admirably the +simplicity of her own pure and innocent countenance. + +Lucy’s first glance at the mirror as she entered the drawing-room, +convinced her that the effect was favourable, and she waited with the +impatience of agreeable expectation for Castleton’s opinion, which +she had no doubt he would express at once upon seeing her. It was, +therefore, a matter of disappointment to her, that when he entered, +it was in one of those absent and pre-occupied moods in which a man +looks at all things without seeing any. + +Many little harmless artifices did poor Lucy play off to endeavour to +attract his attention before any of the company should arrive, and +thus prevent his expressing that approbation which she hoped she had +earned. She could not help thinking that the more she looked at him, +the more he must look at her, and therefore with a gaze that seemed +to require reciprocity, kept her eyes fixed on him, through all his +fidgetty and evidently uneasy movements. + +The cause of this strange deportment on his part, arose from a +note he had found, upon his return home, from Sir North Saunders, +containing an acceptance of a verbal invitation he had given him +somewhat late to dine with him that day. + +The party which he had invited was not a large one, though somewhat +mixed. The only ladies were Lady Gayland and Mrs. Tudor. He had +carefully avoided any practised scoffers, lest a _manque des +convenances_, on Lucy’s part, should unhappily furnish them with a +ready subject for ridicule on the morrow. But the sight of Sir North +addressing Lucy, without the slightest suspicion, as a person he +had never seen before, always gave him comfort, as reassuring him +as to the impossibility of her ever being recognized as having been +connected with the trial at ----. He had, therefore, on meeting Sir +North, pressed him to dine with him, and on Sir North regretting +that his having asked a friend himself, rendered it impossible, +Castleton had rather imprudently extended the invitation to the said +friend, to which Sir North demurred at the time, but had since wrote +to say--“Proud to present to your more special notice--rising young +man--particular friend,--Peter Spencer.” + +Now not only did Castleton, from all he had heard, as well as the +little he had seen of Peter Spencer, dislike him particularly, but he +was also aware, that if ever the identity of Lady Castleton with the +Lucy Darnell of the assizes was to be detected, it was most likely +to be effected by the prying Peter Spencer, who was also one of the +very few people who could recollect her in the former situation. +He had, therefore, as much as he could, avoided that individual, +which, as Spencer now affected professional practice, and therefore +made but rare apparitions in general society, was not difficult. The +prospect of having brought upon himself such an intrusion into his +own house, was therefore not agreeable, and he was still puzzling +himself whether he could with advantage caution Lucy particularly, +as to her deportment towards that person, when the opportunity was +lost by the first knock at the door, which sound roused him from his +abstraction. He looked at Lucy for the first time attentively, and +kissed her kindly, saying, “How very much that becomes you! You look +so very well, and yet so unlike your usual self, that I should think +some might find it difficult to know you again.” + +The door opened as he said this, thoroughly expected to see shut +in the pompous little person of Peter Spencer; but it was only a +punctual artist, a _protégé_ of Castleton’s, who was much struck +with the appearance of his patron’s bride, and enchanted with the +idea of so fine a subject as a sitter. + +The long twilight of a London summer evening had almost ceased to +struggle against the artificial darkness of the drawing-room; the +company had collected, and the shades of night had gathered round +them, before Sir North and Peter Spencer arrived, and attempted to +guess their way through an obscure mass of friends and _fauteuils_ to +make their obeisance in the direction which Castleton’s voice marked +as that where was seated their indistinguishable hostess. + +When dinner was announced, and Castleton and Lady Gayland of course +headed the downward procession, there ensued a pause in those +who were to follow, either arising from the darkness or doubtful +precedence, or the want of some one to marshall the order of march: +a point in which, of course Lucy was profoundly ignorant. + +“How absurd!” said Lady Gayland, “the minute point to which this +mummery is studied in England. Men will sometimes draw back in horror +from an almost offered arm, and avoid the propinquity which can alone +make the party agreeable to him, for fear it should be supposed that +he had forgotten that his ancestors only fought at Agincourt, whilst +there was another man in the room whose name was connected with +Cressy. In that land, where social liberty has survived political +restraint, where we have so often met, it is the most recent +preference, not the most ancient patent, which places people.” + +“I, at least, have no right to complain,” said Castleton, “who have +obtained by one system what I should have sought by the other.” + +“Meaning me: of course you could not help saying as much, considering +how easily such things are said.” + +“Mr. Spencer, will you sit next to Lady Gayland?” said Castleton to +him, catching him _en passant_, anxious to fix him at a distance from +Lucy. + +“O no!” said Lady Gayland, “Mr. Mastic, I won’t hear of your +deserting me. Mr. Mastic here, is very anxious to study my profile, +which Lord Castleton has promised to give him an opportunity of doing +by being very agreeable on the other side; so Mr. Spencer, that +your presence is impossible--I am in despair;”--and Peter Spencer +proceeded upwards, where he found a vacant chair at the other side, +within two of Lucy--the party, it was stated, not being a very large +one, and the table circular. + +“What had I done to deserve that?” asked Lady Gayland; “if you +had provided yourself with a silent pendant, _come questo_,” in a +lower tone, and glancing at Mr. Mastic, “I might have believed your +previous pretty speech; but to fix upon me so active a bore, you must +have determined to devote yourself entirely to Mrs. Tudor.” + +Castleton could not give his real reason, and therefore merely said, +“I always thought Spencer had been rather protected by you.” + +“Protected! never; sometimes attacked, but there is no luxury one +wears out so soon, as one’s butt. Like a glove, it ought never to be +used twice, it becomes so easy.” + +Peter Spencer, in the mean time, from his new position, had every +opportunity of observing the fair hostess. The first impression was +rendered more striking, from the blaze of light by which she was now +surrounded, so immediately succeeding the obscurity out of which +they had groped their way. He had not even seen her at a distance +among the crowd at Lady Delacour’s ball; the only place to which he +had been since she came to town. At first view he merely retained +some indistinct recollection of its being a face he had somewhere +before seen; and it was only when she spoke that a confused idea of +the truth broke upon him. She was sitting next Lord Stayinmore, who, +to those who did not know him, and could not venture to treat him as +Lady Gayland did, was rather a formidable person. In answering his +pompous questions, Lucy got rather nervous, and there was something +in the tone of her reply, which recalled to Spencer’s mind the young +girl at the Assize town, under the examination of his senior, old Mr. +Bailey. + +Turning to his next neighbour, he addressed him, with + +“I can _e_-spy a most extra-_or_dinary res-_em_-blance in +our f-_a_cin-_a_ting hostess to an unf_or_tunate fe-_e_male +imp_li_cated in a nef-_a_rious tr_an_saction in the course of my +prof-_es_s-_io_nal career.” + +“Hum,” said his neighbour, whom the communication did not all +interest. + +Finding no encouragement in this quarter, with the strange +coincidence running in his head, though, as yet, without suspecting +the identity, he vociferated to Sir North, who sat just opposite to +him. + +“Sir North, was not Lord Castleton in c_o_u_r_t at that most +extra-_or_dinary trial of a case, whose loc-_a_lity was in the +neighbourhood of H-_or_nscliff A-bb-_e_y?” + +Castleton, even in the midst of one of Lady Gayland’s most brilliant +sallies, caught the drawling intonation of Spencer making this +_mal-apropos_ inquiry; and before Sir North could even finish his +reply, “that he was himself not in court,” he had interposed with, +“Mr. Spencer, a glass of wine--champagne?” But this only procured a +respite, through the assent, the order, its execution, the bow, and +the swallow, which completed the social libation. Peter Spencer then +continued, and Castleton could catch just enough of what followed to +make him uneasy, without enabling him to ascertain the moment when he +could interpose, and yet not bring about the very discovery he wished +to avoid. + +Who has not sometimes suffered under that worst of conversational +penances, the feeling obliged to appear to listen to your next +neighbour, when you cannot help catching from a distance disjointed +words of some topic your peculiar favourite, on which you are most +anxious either to listen or amuse. But Castleton’s position was +even worse than this; for it was Lady Gayland, in her most winning +mood, who was his next neighbour, and it was her he was obliged to +neglect, in attempting to catch indistinctly the most unwelcome tones +of Mr. Spencer’s disagreeable voice. + +“But, Sir North, though s-_a_tisf_a_ctory proof could not be then +el-_i_c_i_ted, I _o_-pine we shall have the h-_a_nging y_e_t of that +f_e_llow. D_a_rnell was his name; I have no doubt he made away with +the _u_-nkn-_o_wn. A blood-thirsty cut-throat from his birth.” + +“O no, that he was not!” exclaimed Lucy vehemently, “he was the +kindest boy that ever breathed, and I have no doubt he will still +live to do honour to those who are kind to him.” + +“Your ladyship, then, was personally acquainted with him?” inquired +Spencer. + +“No, not I--Lord Castleton. Yes--why should I deny it? No! how should +I know? I was only joking--Ha! ha! ha! O dear, I’m very ill,” cried +she, again relapsing into a sort of hysterical laugh. + +Her nerves being very much excited by her attempt to suppress any +appearance of interest in the conversation she had overheard; and +then having been incautiously betrayed into an imprudent speech, by +her desire to defend George from so harsh a sentence, she at last +got completely bewildered between her innate desire to speak the +truth when asked, and her horror at having unintentionally committed +herself, in a manner which she knew would, of all others, be most +displeasing to her husband. + +Castleton, to whose painfully excited attention all this last +scene had been but too audible, was hardly withheld, even by the +imminent danger of an _esclandre_, which such a proceeding might +entail, from starting up, and, under the plea of illness, which +Lucy’s own expression had rendered plausible, inducing her at once +to retire. Yet he was afraid that sufficient clue had already been +given to the pettifogging intellect of Peter Spencer to enable +him to connect that sudden illness, which would of course become +the subject of conversation, with his own acute suspicion. Whilst +Castleton was still hesitating, Lucy not yet attempting to recover +herself,--general attention concentrating upon her, and wonderment +spreading, as to the cause of her strange state,--Lady Gayland +stretched her beautiful arm towards one of those tall, rickety, +pagoda-like bonbonnieres, which were here, as elsewhere, dotted about +the circle of the table at certain intervals, and lightly touching +it with her finger, the top-heavy machine tipped over with exactly +the impetus she intended, and both its circular and globular contents +rolled far and near, and scattered themselves all over the table, +and from the direction in which they were slily propelled, they +particularly abounded in the neighbourhood of Peter Spencer. + +“If that had been done on purpose, the mischief could not have been +more complete. Lord Castleton can you pardon my awkwardness?” said +Lady Gayland, who had watched the progress of Lucy’s dilemma, knew +much more of its origin than any of the principal parties believed, +and had on the spur of the moment devised this expedient to divert +attention, and relieve Lucy’s difficulties. + +“Good comes of evil though,” said she; “I am rewarded for my +clumsiness by a full view of Mr. Spencer, who was hitherto under an +eclipse to me, and now does he not rise upon me in all his grandeur! +Since Marius, in the ruins of Carthage, there never was anything +so stern or sublime, as he looks amongst the _debris_ of scattered +sugar-plums, and broken _bon-bons_.” + +That is a happy expression of the French _saisir la ridicule_. But +no one knew so well as she did exactly the moment to bring into play +that faculty which must be innate, for no art can teach _saisir la +ridicule_. + +She had, in this instance, both a motive for exertion and an object +on which to exercise it, and she certainly did not spare Peter +Spencer. The consequence of which was, that not only Lucy had time to +recover herself, but that her previous confusion was forgotten by the +company in the impression of the amusement furnished by Lady Gayland; +and even Spencer himself departed with, to the full, as distinct an +idea that he had made himself ridiculous, as that he had made Lady +Castleton uncomfortable. + + + + + CHAPTER VII. + + For now my love is thawed, + Which, like a waxen image ’gainst a fire, + Bears no impression of the thing it was. + SHAKSPEARE. + + The English winter ending in July + To recommence in August, now was done; + ’Tis the postillion’s paradise; wheels fly + On roads east, south, north, west. + BYRON. + + +Castleton was much vexed at the danger which Lucy had incurred, of +discovering all that he most wished to conceal; but she seemed to +have suffered so much herself, from her imprudence, that he could not +find it in his heart to upbraid her on the subject. Taking courage +from this forbearance on his part, she ventured the next morning +to ask him, “Would it not be better, my dear lord, that it should +at least be known from how low a station your kindness raised me: +when, perhaps, people would be too good-natured (or well-bred, as +you call the same thing) to talk to me on such subjects, since even +in attempting to conceal it, such risks are run as my imprudence is +always bringing about.” + +“It is too late to think of that now, Lucy; if all were to do over +again, I know not how much might remain undone. However, if there had +not been that unlucky adventure blended with our early connexion, +it might perhaps have been better to have owned more; though I then +thought your manners, which still appear to me wonderful, prevented +the necessity of such an avowal. But that ill-starred cousin of +yours, who has given the character of a nest of smugglers to your +whole set, rendered any other course than concealment of your origin +impossible. Above all, now, you have no idea of the avidity with +which an awkward story about any one that is known is communicated. +‘Have you heard the strange story about Lord Castleton?’ would spread +like wildfire; and I should be the laughing-stock of every one who +spells a Sunday paper, from the Land’s end to John o’ Groat’s House.” + +Lucy, though she would not dispute what she did not understand, felt +hurt at the slighting mention of the home of her youth as a “_nest of +smugglers_.” She might indeed have replied, that she was sure no one +who knew her dear father at Mayton or elsewhere, would believe that +_he_ could ever have any thing to say to such doings. + +But Castleton, fearing nothing but anxiety from prolonging his stay +in London, continued, “We have now been above two months in London, +Lucy; would you dislike the idea of returning into the country?” + +“O I should like it so much! One thing I should wish: do you think +you could persuade Lady Gayland to come and see us there? I feel +so fond of her, and I often think she is in many respects a more +suitable companion for you than I am. You both understand the same +things to talk about. And then, perhaps, if I wished just to go to +Morden Bay, you could better spare me a little while.” + +“No, my dear Lucy,” said Castleton smiling, “that would not render +it at all less difficult to spare you. But about the rest do as you +like; you shall have the pleasure of asking Lady Gayland herself: if +she comes at all, it will be for you.” + +It is not of course to be supposed but that a person of Lucy’s +natural quickness, though unpractised in observation, should +have made some progress during the time she was in town towards +understanding the requisite qualifications for her new situation; +but unfortunately this very quickness made her only more conscious +of her manifold deficiencies. A little application, when she gave +her attention to any one point, like a magnifying glass, made its +particular form and bearing perfectly distinct to her comprehension; +but that very circumstance only rendered her more thoroughly aware +how vague and undefined were to her all other objects on that varied +horizon, which she indistinctly surveyed from her isolated elevation, +and the shape in which this consciousness of her situation most +disagreeably occurred to her, was that whilst Castleton wandered +freely through all these scenes to him so familiar, she was herself +merely a sort of landmark of the affections, to which he returned at +stated intervals, rather than his constant companion through all +the mazes of society, or his active associate in the pursuits of +literature. + +This painful sensation of her own unfitness, which feeling increased +with her efforts to diminish it, was expressed by her with much +candour to her friend Lady Gayland, while persuading that lady to +take up her abode with her as soon as possible at Somersby Park. + +“There’s no study, dear Lady Gayland, which does me, I am sure, half +so much good as hearing you talk. What I attempt to teach myself, +seems only to show me how much more I have to learn. What you tell +me, seems as if it ought to be as easy to me, as it plainly is to +you. And yet I am afraid that you are just what I should find it most +difficult to imitate: at least, so Castleton thinks.” + +“Perhaps his wish is father to that thought; there may be nothing he +would so little like you to resemble.” + +“On the contrary, no one admires you more than he does--that I am +sure of; and then, too, you are old friends.” + +“For that very reason, perhaps, a little contrast--” + +“How can you say so? You can’t think it. But you are always so kind, +that I am sure you will let me speak a little seriously to you.” + +“What about, my dear?” asked Lady Gayland, with apparently little +surprise, and perhaps some uneasiness. + +“About myself. I want to consult you on a point on which your advice +would be of the greatest service to me. I need not say that it is my +only desire, as well as my first duty, to please Castleton. Nobody so +well as you could tell me how I ought to try for that,” she added, +with perfect simplicity. + +“Go on--that’s somewhat difficult,” answered Lady Gayland +abstractedly. + +“Now, when I hear any subject talked of in conversation about which I +know nothing, I never show my ignorance, because that Castleton told +me to avoid; but I treasure up the recollection of it, and endeavour +to work out the knowledge of it for myself against another time. But +there are some things I cannot learn from books. Now if you would let +me come to you about them----” + +“But why not ask your husband, my dear?” + +“So I do sometimes, but I don’t think he much likes it. Only the +other day I heard people say that one of their friends was very +lucky, for that he got ten thousand pounds for his wife. I could not +conceive how a man could do that. I never heard of such a thing. And +I asked Castleton to explain, and he said that as I knew nothing at +all about it, he should be obliged to make a very long story--that +he was in a hurry, hadn’t time, and it didn’t signify. And yet, +though he had not time for that, when I said just afterwards that I +should like to have a little black parrot, such as I had seen, he +rode a long way on purpose to try to get one, at the gardens with a +long name.” + +“Zoological?” + +“Yes; for he is very kind to me, and I hardly can form a wish that he +does not try to gratify, and yet----” + +“Yet what!” + +“Why, when I have taken pains to inform myself on any subject, if +he is not there, I quite long for an opportunity to bring it out, +and watch the conversation for that purpose only, and then every one +else seems to take it quite natural from me. But if I attempt this to +Castleton I feel quite awkward; and then he says, ‘Where did you pick +that up, my dear Lucy?’ and that makes me worse. And though at first +he used to seem surprised if I did _not_ know what others did, now +it is quite the contrary: he is just as much surprised if I do. That +change is not a good sign, I am afraid. Is it?” + +“It is impossible to answer these questions directly,” said Lady +Gayland; “difficult to answer them any how satisfactorily--delicate +for any one to attempt it--perhaps most delicate for me. But +yours is a singular--a lonely situation. You ask for advice and +assistance from the only person who you think can be of service +to you, and with the interest I feel in you, I am unwilling to +refuse. I have known Lord Castleton long and well--how long and how +well it is unnecessary for the present purpose to recollect. But +circumstances made an observer like myself thoroughly acquainted +with his character. His misfortune is not a common one. His means +have always been in exaggerated proportion to his ends. Faculties, +which ought to have extended their influence over society in its +more extended sense of the community, he has confined to its more +limited definition--company; and he would have been more perfect +in all relations as a companion, had he also been a statesman, a +soldier, a philosopher, or even a poet. The human mind does not, like +the baser metal, accumulate in store; but like the physical organs +of our frame, from empty craving it takes to feed upon itself. In +the limited sphere he had chosen, as Lord Castleton could not dread +defeat, he learnt to despise success, and thence to cavil at its +causes. Let me see--what is there I can compare him to, that has come +within your observation: we went together the other night to the +pantomime.” + +“Yes, thank you,” said Lucy, smiling even through the interest of +this discussion, at the amusement she had then experienced. + +“Well, then, his mind is something like the magic of harlequin’s +wand amongst the chairs and tables, a superior power misapplied to +petty purposes, and therefore as often perverting and confounding, +as improving. This, however, could not apply to the exercise of the +affections, except so far as his experience of women as members of +the social system has filled his head with general, and in some +particular instances most unwarrantable, suspicions. O if a woman +could with honest pride feel herself the only object of devotion to +such----But what of this? it is not to the present purpose. Disgusted +with every thing he had seen and imagined of us poor women of the +world, he naturally sought the reverse of that which the past had +taught him. And in seeking an extreme, of the extent of which he +was by no means aware, I have no doubt that the entire novelty of +the attempt was originally its chief recommendation. How singularly +fortunate I think he was, when, in embarking in such an undertaking, +he met with you, I will not now say. I am not satisfied that you +should so far exceed all that he had a right to anticipate, but +wish that you should, if possible, realize his most unreasonable +expectations. Purity and perfect devotion, those sterling merits +whose spontaneous growth he sought in the wilderness, he has found in +you in the highest perfection. Those other qualities, of which he had +not previously supposed the want, because all he had hitherto seen +had uniformly possessed them, are produced by cultivation, and may +be engrafted. London is the place where their absence is most felt, +their acquirement is most difficult. In the country, where you will +have him entirely to yourself, you will soon find him again what you +wish; for Castleton, though clear-sighted, is also considerate to the +faults of those who interest him.” + +“But, my dear Lady Gayland, I shall never be able to do any thing +without your assistance. When you are by, I always feel so much +bolder. I own I am at all times rather afraid of Castleton--that is, +afraid more of my own feeling than of his showing that I have not +pleased him. You say that I should have Castleton all to myself; +and certainly I should be glad to have him without the perpetual +interruptions of our present mode of life, but not without you. No; +your presence gives me comfort and courage, as well as pleasure.” + +There was a pause of lengthened hesitation on Lady Gayland’s part, +before she replied to this appeal; but at last, to Lady Castleton’s +reiterated and anxious entreaty of “Now, pray don’t refuse me--do +come,” she answered, + +“Well, my dear, then come I will. That is, I will stop and see you +when I leave town, on my way to the watering place, where I mean to +spend the autumn.” + + + + + CHAPTER VIII. + + Downward flies my lord, + Nodding beside my lady in his carriage; + Away! away! fresh horses are the word, + And changed as quickly as hearts after marriage. + BYRON. + + +It was with feelings of satisfaction, utterly unmixed with regret, +that Lucy found herself once more cutting her way through that dense +mass, which is made up of strings of carriages, and clouds of smoke, +towards those suburbs which upon her entrance had struck her as +interminable. She only felt that she had Castleton once more by her +side--a pleasure which had daily become more rare, as their stay in +London had been protracted. The impression uppermost in his mind, if +not so pure and unmixed, was upon the whole of a pleasurable nature. + +The same train of thought recurred to him as had produced so much +effect upon his then unsettled opinions some years back, when upon +leaving town at that season he had first sought Morden Bay, and +had for the first time beheld the present partner of his fate; and +as these feelings returned in almost their original freshness, +they chased away all the more unworthy causes of repining, which +the frivolous habits of the world had fostered; and for the time +all anxieties dependent upon a false sense of shame at her former +position no longer interfered with well-merited admiration of her +excellent virtues, and transcendent beauty, and grateful confidence +in her unbounded devotion to himself. He even looked back with +something like contempt at the perpetual uneasiness under which +he had laboured, lest the extreme lowness of her origin should be +discovered, and was now ashamed of having been so much ashamed of +some of her unpractised mistakes. + +One littleness, though, he could not help clinging to. It was +still a great satisfaction to him, that the dreaded discovery had +not been gossipped amongst his servants. He would of all things +have disliked that the daily talk of those from whom he looked +for habitual respect, should turn upon the fact of their mistress +having been, what they would call, “no better than themselves.” +As for the world, he knew enough of it to be aware that there his +principal difficulties and dangers were past. The world had been +peculiarly disposed to criticise the first debût of a new denizen +nearly connected with one to whose taste that world had long yielded +a forced allegiance. Another season, and detraction would find some +more stirring game than one so inoffensive as Lucy. + +Amidst these topics for satisfaction, almost for self-gratulation, +one unpleasant doubt did obtrude itself. Though the care of the world +would no longer molest his enjoyment, was he quite certain that he +should himself continue perfectly contented with the success of his +experiment? Was she the companion he required? He started in anger +at himself as this hitherto fleeting and shapeless suspicion assumed +the form of a substantial doubt, and, as chasing it impatiently +away, he cast upon her a look of affection and encouragement, she +best answered the appeal, and removed for the time all traces of +painful impression, by discussing with ease and spirit the pleasure +she should derive from again beholding Somersby, and recalling +with accuracy the favourite spots within his domain which they had +together frequented, during their last residence there. As these +were the outward images then uppermost in his mind, he gladly +obliterated, in this fortunate reciprocity, those ideas which had +before intruded themselves. + +The circumstances of the first few days at Somersby, seemed to +continue the illusion, (if illusion it was,) that the qualifications +of his partner for life left him nothing to desire. The weather +was beautiful, and with elastic step and cheerful countenance she +accompanied him every where, participating in all his plans and +entering into all his improvements. But persons, however strong, +cannot stroll through the whole day; and Lucy before she left London +had, with good reason, been recommended not to over fatigue herself; +so a pony-phaeton was put in requisition, and this enabled them to +extend their excursions, and protract their enjoyment; but our fickle +climate will sometimes frown on pony-phaetons even in August. There +came a wet week, and they were confined to the house, and immured in +the library. This was an unlucky _locale_ for Lucy; but it had always +been used as the common morning-room, and she felt lonely if she did +not see Castleton, even though _his_ eyes were fixed on his book. + +Had Castleton been alone, his study would have been all-sufficient +to him; but being, as it were, thus continually in company, there +was hardly any thing he read, by which some train of thought was not +awakened in his ever active imagination, which he longed at once to +communicate. It was not that he was anxious captiously to criticise, +or to find fault, but he was often eager to illustrate and to impart +the beauties that struck him; and as, with this desire, he looked +upon his uninformed companion, he felt the hopelessness of such an +attempt. If it was a book of science, in vain would he comment upon +the extension of that, of which she neither knew the rudiments nor +the terms--if of fiction, equally beyond her reach were the least +soaring flights of fancy--if of satire, she was equally little +cognizant of the persons portrayed, or aware of the foibles for +which they were ridiculed. He had once before indulged in the social +custom of blending conversation with his reading; the precedent was +an ominous one. It had been at Rome. When persons familiarly known +to each other live under the same roof in a foreign hotel, their +intercourse is naturally on an easy footing, and much time will +sometimes be spent together by that facility of gliding, unasked, in +and out of apartments, which never could have been demanded under +the well-drilled form of “a knock-and-ring” London visit. When +the intimacy of friendship thus confirms the interest of a warmer +feeling, it is a delightful, but a dangerous habit. + +Castleton had in this manner spent the most of many mornings in +Lady Gayland’s. They did not then think it necessary, under these +circumstances, always to talk, to the exclusion of books; but +they often found it agreeable to mix up reciprocal remarks on +their reading. And some of these most animated and interesting +discussions had arisen out of casual observations excited by some +passage which had forcibly struck them in the perusal; and whether +these conversations took the turn of excited enthusiasm, or refined +criticism, their uniform effect was, that the parties engaged in them +separated mutually better pleased with each other. In the course of +the last week, Castleton had frequently ventured, in some of the +lighter works with which he had been engaged, to read short extracts +to Lucy, explaining and recommending the whole book to her perusal. +This desire she always immediately complied with; but her attention +was ever fixed, and her memory exerted in the discovery of these +particular passages, which he happened accidentally to have cited; +and, in this pursuit, her eye would wander over whole lines of print, +as a traveller would over lines of hedge and ditch by the road side, +noting nothing by the way, in search of one only object. + +The fact was, as has been stated before, that her mother had +always, at that age when the taste is acquired, discouraged reading +as unprofitable. And her aunt, not feeling herself at liberty to +interfere directly with the system of her mother, had rather selected +passages adapted to her capacity, and facilitated even these by +her explanations, than encouraged her in any independent course of +reading. Alice Darnell’s plan had had the effect upon her niece’s +mind, of a sort of intellectual “swimming in corks.” Now deprived of +this artificial aid, she felt more than ever, the utter helplessness +of her ignorance. She had been enabled by these means to dabble +gracefully in shallows; but was utterly incapable of venturing +unassisted on the wide ocean of knowledge. + +A week had passed in this way; the mornings and most of the evenings +devoted to study on the part of Castleton, and the same time consumed +by Lucy, in vain attempts to toil after him in the few books, which, +on reading himself, he thought it possible to recommend to her. She +had, in making the effort, no other object in view, but endeavouring +to please him, by appearing to understand his remarks; and in this +she had too often failed; for, though gratified, at first, by +thinking that she had remarked the same points which had struck him, +he was again disappointed, when he went on to ask her opinion upon +other parts, which perhaps had made as strong an impression upon +himself, though, from the consciousness that she was unacquainted +with the book, he had not communicated that impression. He sometimes +found, that except those passages to which he had directed her +attention, all the rest of the work, connected with which these +isolated passages acquired a redoubled value, had produced no more +effect upon her, than if her eyes had never glanced over its pages. + +One afternoon, he had accidentally taken up the “Promessi Sposi” of +Manzoni, (that only child of the old age of Italian literature.) The +copy in his hand was the original one, which he had not seen since he +had first read it with delight in Italy. The marks that had either +been made by himself, or another, of admiration of the most sterling, +though, perhaps, not the most palpable beauties of this work of true +genius, were still visible upon the pages before him, and recalled +the scene, and the occasions on which they were made; and when the +thought recurred, but for his own over-fastidious feeling, and +perverted imagination, what might now have been his lot, he turned on +Lucy a look, in which disappointment was perhaps too legibly written; +for she interpreted it at once into a desire for some change; and +imagining such to be his wish, she asked him if he did not think “it +was now fine enough to take a stroll out of doors?” + +The weather had certainly shown symptoms of settling; the clouds +had first lightened, then dispersed; and now the sun, successfully +struggling through the dappled sky, already played on the sparkling +drops, which the gentle breeze began to shake from the dripping +leaves. + +Castleton rose from his chair, glad to snap the chain of thought +which bound his spirit to no good purpose; and throwing up the +window, the enjoyment of all external sources of pleasure seemed +suddenly restored. + +Every inducement combined to tempt them forth. The mingled odour of +the freshened herbage, and of the grateful flower-garden beneath, +breathed through the atmosphere one varied fragrance. The cheerful +song of the feathered tribe sounded as an irresistible invitation to +all living things, to share with them in rejoicing at the restored +reign of nature. + +“Yes, dear Lucy,” said Castleton, encircling her waist, “get on your +bonnet, and we shall have a delightful walk.” + +As he said this, the grinding of carriage-wheels through the +rain-soaked gravel was heard, and a well-packed travelling equipage +appeared in sight. + +“O, I do believe that is Lady Gayland,” said Lucy, clapping her hands +with delight, “and now you won’t want for amusement.” + +And Lady Gayland it certainly was. She had been expected shortly, +but the precise day was not known; and as she had paid another visit +since she left town--and no lady was ever expected to comprehend the +irregularities of a cross-country post--her arrival before her own +announcement of herself was very pardonable. + + + + + CHAPTER IX. + + The mellow Autumn came, + And with it came the promised guest. + + There’s not an hour + Of day or dreaming night, but I am with thee; + There’s not a wind but whispers of thy name; + And not a flower that sleeps beneath the moon, + But in its hues or fragrance tells a tale + Of thee. + + Thou canst not teach me to forget. + + +How slight and almost imperceptible a change of position, how small +and almost unintentional a step in advance, will sometimes suddenly +open our eyes to the inevitable tendency of a course of conduct +which we have been, up to that point, pursuing in blind security! +Lady Gayland, acute and clear-sighted as she was for others, was +in her own case often the creature of impulse, acting without +consideration, upon the first generous feeling, and reasoning upon +its collateral bearings when too late to retract. + +The carriage had been checked a moment for admission, at the spot +where the lodge leading to Somersby-park was situated, on the great +road. “Ah! _nous voila donc, Miladi_,” exclaimed Angelique to her +mistress, thus breaking the confused reverie in which that lady had +long been indulging. + +“_Nous voila donc_, indeed,” thought Lady Gayland, as the iron +gates opened to receive them; “and strange indeed that it should be +so:” and for the first time all those reasons which rendered it so +peculiarly strange, that she should, under such circumstances, be +Castleton’s guest, forced themselves upon her attention the more +irresistibly, that they had been so long suppressed or avoided. True, +the ostensible motives of her visit were plausible enough. Her +early acquaintance with Lucy, and subsequent renewal of it, under +circumstances which had entailed a continuance of that protection +of her, which, in the first instant, she had beneficially extended, +the exclusive confidence which Lucy had reposed in her, the helpless +dependence which she had expressed upon her advice and assistance; +the anxiety with which she clung to her companionship as her best +hope of happiness,--all these would have rendered her presence of the +utmost service to any but the wife of Castleton. + +Castleton’s manner to her in London had never been such as +necessarily to excite suspicion that his feelings were not subdued. +The two strongest exceptions to the general discipline of his +deportment have been given--the one, their first meeting at Lady +Delacour’s ball--the other, his anxious inquiry at the opera after a +certain gentleman whom he had left at Naples. But his usual manner +towards her was calm, apparently unconstrained, and even common-place. + +Lady Gayland, as she never occupied herself much with the concerns +of others, was not perfectly aware of the rapidity with which the +heartless and the fickle can sometimes, in the sunshine of society, +force the artificial growth of indifference; yet she had heard +instances, when, without explanation, hands that had last been +pressed to throbbing hearts, had next met in the lifeless contact +of common courtesy, and lips which had last tremblingly faltered +forth a passionate farewell, when next seen had without emotion been +compressed into a cold and simpering greeting. + +But though Lady Gayland knew that such things had been--though there +was nothing obtrusively obvious in Castleton’s manner to herself, +to contradict, and every thing in the mere act of his subsequent +marriage to confirm, the idea that he furnished another instance of +the easy forgetfulness of man, yet had she no internal conviction of +that kind by which to regulate her conduct. + +To those gifted individuals who unite acute sensibility with keen +observation, and have ever brought those rarely united powers of +the mind and heart to bear upon the conduct and character of a +beloved object, there are open many hidden sources utterly unmarked +by the million, from which the most infallible impressions are +derived. It may be the accent of a casual word, dropped in common +conversation, or the character of a stolen glance, darted through +mingling crowds; which in spite of intervening years, and altered +circumstances--opportunities apparently neglected, and other +engagements since contracted, in defiance of all probability, and +in opposition to almost undeniable evidence,--will vibrate to the +inmost recesses of the heart, the certain consciousness that all is +not forgotten. And such a consciousness had Lady Gayland sometimes, +in spite of herself, felt that Castleton had not even yet become +indifferent to her. All the scattered indications from which she +collected this conviction, and which she had hitherto as much as +possible driven from her mind, now presented themselves one after +another to her recollection, as her carriage whirled rapidly towards +the front of the house. + +“And why, then, am I here?” she asked herself, now the question came +too late. Half the debates in the secret conclave of the human mind +are conducted after the question has been put and carried; and reason +often returns after the event, in company with repentance, instead of +sticking (to speak parliamentarily) to his, proper _pair_, decision. + +In this instance, Lady Gayland’s somewhat tardy self-inquiry, “Why +am I here,” was answered by Lucy, who, as the door of the carriage +opened, rushed down the steps to greet her with-- + +“O how delighted I am to see you! how good it is of you to come, and +even sooner than we expected you!” + +Castleton’s reception of Lady Gayland was exactly what might be +expected from a practised man of the world, who had had time, since +seeing her carriage from the window, to prepare for appearing as glad +to see her as became him, without betraying how much more than that +quantum of satisfaction he might feel. + +As Lucy, at his desire, conducted Lady Gayland to her own apartment, +she repeated, as she clung fondly to her arm,-- + +“I’m so very glad you are come; and so, I can assure you, is +Castleton also, though, perhaps, you don’t think he shows it enough; +but he has been rather dull, poring over books morning and evening, +for we have had sad wet weather: but now you are come, you can talk +to him as he likes, and he will soon be gay again.” + +When Lucy was returning, having left Lady Gayland in her own room, +an accident occurred which led to much conversation in one part +of the house, though its effect was not immediately known in the +drawing-room. In passing through the gallery she met Lady Gayland’s +maid, Ma’amselle Angelique, whom she had not seen since their drive +from Hornscliff to Mayton. In the good-natured impulse of the moment, +Lucy, only recollecting that the person before her had once been kind +to her, when she needed kindness, seized her hand with warmth, saying, + +“How do you do; I am very glad to see you again.” + +At first Angelique drew back confused, thinking there must be some +mistake. + +“Pardon, Miladi, ce n’est que moi.--Mon Dieu! mais est il possible! +la petite de _poni chaise_. Ah! milles pardons, miladi, si j’ose un +instant me rappeller de vous.” And with her best curtsey she passed +on, leaving Lucy, with the returning consciousness that she had +betrayed herself in a manner that would not be pleasing to Castleton. + +Angelique began at once to touch upon her discovery to her mistress, +but there she found her garrulity more suddenly checked than it +usually was on indifferent subjects. At the same time, as Lady +Gayland knew that, by making a mystery, she would only increase the +desire to communicate, she laid no injunctions of silence upon her +attendant, who, accordingly, as soon as dismissed, went down into +the housekeeper’s room, with-- + +“De ting if the world the most astonish! Je suis petrifie. I was made +a stone. Je n’en reviens plus--and I never come back from it more.” + +This of course led to much further cross-questioning and gossipping, +and Castleton had first the happiness of finding how generally the +story was known, when, some little time afterward, he found fault +with his housekeeper for some deficiency in her duty, she excused +herself under the pretence of having meant to please “my lady.” And +when Castleton rather pettishly replied, that he desired she would +not think of consulting my lady on that sort of subject, he was +punished by her impudently adding, + +“To be sure, my Lord, I don’t suppose my Lady is like to know what’s +what.” + +When, upon this, he indignantly asked what she meant by such +impertinence, to get herself out of the scrape, the blame was, +naturally enough, laid on Mamselle Angelique, both as a strange +servant and a foreigner, and the whole story thus came out. + +During the social intercourse of the succeeding days, the effort +was equally made by Castleton and Lady Gayland, so to conduct the +course of their conversation, that Lucy might be enabled to bear them +company. But it evidently, to all parties, was an effort; and not +always a successful one. Sometimes irresistibly borne along by the +current of old recollections, Castleton and his guest were launched +into the wide sea of imagination--an element into which Lucy was not +fitted to follow them; she, therefore, was soon stranded by the way, +and sat watching them in silent security. + +But there was one casual circumstance that contributed to throw Lady +Gayland more exclusively into the society of her former friend. +Whilst they were in the house, of course wherever she was, there +Lucy was likewise. But, as has been before observed, Lady Gayland +was passionately fond of riding: Lucy, on the contrary, never much +used to it, and always timid on horseback, was at present prevented +from attempting to mount, by reasons which are understood in all +families. But Castleton had upon their marriage provided her with a +delightful horse, and this she now pressed Lady Gayland to use. This, +to one who had all her life been an inveterate horse-woman, was too +tempting an offer to be refused, and accompanied by Castleton, she +made the trial of the new horse, which seemed to have been attended +with great success, for from that time their promenades were repeated +daily,--the weather continuing as propitious, as it had been +unfavourable before the arrival of the visitor. + +What shall we call that state of sympathy, which, while it seems +too serious to settle into a mere flirtation, is as yet by no means +systematized into a _liaison_? But call it what we may, that is the +peculiar stage, when there is nothing so dangerous as a _tête-a-tête_ +on horseback. Whilst every advance is still attended with doubt and +incertitude, the attempt is encouraged by apparent facilities of +retreat; in a room, the moment, which must come sooner or later, +when the door will have to be opened and closed behind one of the +parties, is always a matter of dread, and in anticipation, checks +many a hasty move; but here there is no such awkward epoch to come. +All is every instant changing around. An affected stumble on the part +of the horse, may conceal a real false step of his rider; and an ill +received hint, may be obliterated in a canter. + +But to speak seriously, there is something in a _tête-a-tête_ ride +through a fine country, which, when a predisposition to confidence +between man and woman has existed, considerably tends to ripen it. +As to Castleton and his guest, their relative situation was such, +as to leave them nothing to confide. They had neither of them any +designs to advance, but if they could not thus avail themselves of +the advantages of the present, it was unfortunate that they should +have so apt an occasion to regret the past, for it was thus they +had wandered in other days, beneath southern skies, with brighter +prospects, and with better hopes. + + + + + CHAPTER X. + + For it so falls out + That what we have we prize not to the worth, + Whiles we enjoy it; but, being lacked and lost, + Why then we rack the value. + SHAKSPEARE. + + Whilst I remember + Her and her virtues, I cannot forget + My blemishes in them, and so still think of + The wrong I did myself. + + +This mode of life had continued for many more days than either of +them would retrospectively have imagined to have elapsed since its +commencement. And in the course of it many topics which should have +been altogether avoided, had every day imperceptibly been approached +more nearly, and with greater effort evaded. + +One day Lady Gayland, principally from a desire to fix her attention +upon some extraneous and indifferent subject, had requested to be +allowed in their next ride to mount Castleton’s own horse, instead +of the more docile creature procured for Lucy, which she pronounced +too sluggish. Castleton was at first rather afraid to assent, as +his beautiful animal, though perfectly tractable under his skilful +management, had only lately exchanged the turf for the road. But as +the groom reported that the essay of the petticoat had been perfectly +satisfactory, and as Lady Gayland was a most fearless horse-woman, +the exchange, at her repeated request, was made on their next +excursion. + +They had, in consequence of the novelty of the experiment, started +with the intention, at Castleton’s desire, of riding more quietly +and carefully; and as they strolled slowly onwards, insensibly their +attention had been transferred from the horse to their discourse, +which was much the more animated of the two, as no animal is more +sleepy than a spirited horse will sometimes be, when left to himself, +with the reins upon his neck. + +The origin of this, as of many other interesting conversations, was +common place. We need not, perhaps, travel even so far back as when, +in reply to some disclaimer on Lady Gayland’s part, Castleton said, +“You know what Byron sings-- + + ‘No friend like to a woman earth discovers.’” + +“Ay, but remember,” interrupted Lady Gayland, “the proviso he adds: + + ‘So that they have not been, nor will be----’ + +what?--what is the word whose indispensable presence at the point of +the stanza alone, excuses such a botching rhyme as _discovers_?” + +“_Lovers_,” answered Castleton. “To be sure he says they should never +have been, but then I think it was his own negative experience, +limiting his opinion of the social qualities of poor human nature +which warped his judgment. In introducing my quotation I should have +said _even_ Byron sings--for I think he never had, nor I think was it +in his nature to have, a female friend.” + +“His sister--” + +“He was a kind and a grateful brother to a fond and an indulgent +sister, that was all.” + +“Poor Byron! who so philosophic a guide for others? who so practical +a blunderer for himself in search of the sources of happiness?” + +“Others without his talent to commemorate their wayward +inconsistencies, may have thought as deeply and mistaken as +thoroughly,” answered Castleton, in a tone of bitterness. + +“A female friend! ’tis almost an impossibility,” continued Lady +Gayland, still generalizing the conversation; “at what stage of our +existence could such a feeling take its date? As a girl? No! You men +generally treat girls either as flirts or fools, and wilfully shut +your eyes to the study of that character of which a special licence +is to be the diploma. So mankind to girls are divided into the +marrying and non-marrying classes. With the first, friendship would +appear forward; with the latter, lost time. As a wife?--Possibly some +men might. But I think you, for instance, would not like your wife to +maintain a perfect and unreserved friendship with another man? No; in +neither case would it do.” + +“But yourself,” interrupted Castleton, “you need not be restrained by +any of the embarrassments of either of the stations you mention?” + +“No; and at fifty perhaps I may think about it; but let us if +possible avoid to speak individually. There is only one relation in +life in which a woman may be peerless and perfect, and luckily that +is as a wife. A mistress’s present career is made up of regret for +the past and fear for the future; a female friend content to be no +more, is an anomaly rarely found. A wife may unite all that is most +estimable in friendship, with so much more than that cold feeling can +ever know, that it would be the veriest bathos to degrade a wife to +the title of friend.” + +“Yet some wives can never be friends, and now, alas! some friends can +never become wives.” + +“A woman’s part in courtship is, you must recollect, a passive one; +we must ever wait till we are asked.” + +“Yet who but a fool or a coxcomb would ever venture a proposal unless +pretty certain that his suit would not be displeasing; and does not +that render it equivalent to a refusal, when a woman tortures by +indications of indifference? What would I now give that you had never +misled me!” + +“Lord Castleton, I will not say how much I regret that you should +have introduced a subject which may interrupt our intercourse. For +that your society is agreeable to me, I wonder you should ever have +doubted; but it does not _now_ become me to make either professions +or disclaimers on that subject. It is only to excuse, not to revive, +the past, that I now speak. This is the last time that former days +must ever be mentioned between us. How did I then mislead you?” + +“I know that I ought not to have recurred to this topic, nor, believe +me, had I any previous intention of doing so; but now it is as well +that I should explain, in doing which I own there may be more to +excuse in myself than to blame in you. But you knew me thoroughly--my +over sensitive fastidious nature; why then did you torture me with an +apparent preference of Frank Melmoth? I knew that he was every way +unworthy of you, but I construed your whole conduct into an internal +struggle between your judgment, which still held out on my side, and +your heart, which had already yielded to him.” + +“Would any man but yourself have so interpreted it? Do you believe +even Frank Melmoth, with all his coxcombry, so read it?” + +“Perhaps not; but still he was indefatigable in persuading me +that such was the construction all parties must put upon your +conduct. Trifles light as air are, you know, sometimes--I need +not particularize--the earliest violets which I had promised, and +procured for you, were boastfully displayed in his button-hole at +the ball, the same evening. Eager for an explanation, you refused +the request I therefore made to be set down at home by you, yet +afterwards you consented to convey him. The next night at the opera +was my last, and served to convince me, that your preference upon +all indifferent points was decidedly his, and that if there was still +a doubt upon your mind, it was my position, not my personal merits, +which maintained it.” + +“And if the first part of your supposition had been well founded, +think not your position would have maintained that doubt a moment. +But, first, to answer your last instance; had I conveyed you home, +who had a carriage of your own in attendance, it would have been a +measure--and how much I might be aware that you were anxious for an +explanation--it was not my business so pointedly to facilitate it. +When afterwards the poor, needy, half-drowned creature begged for +a lift, it would have been positive cruelty to have sent him under +the spouts in such a deluge as was then pouring down. Besides, do +you not know, with us women there is no such universal patentee of +exclusive privileges as indifference. As to your other accusation, +the transfer of your flowers, in that, too, I was perfectly +innocent. They were left by you upon my table. You know how easy the +entrance into apartments at an hotel abroad always is. Frank Melmoth +volunteered a visit--I was in my own room. My spirits, so far as +society is concerned, seldom fail me; but I own I did then feel quite +unequal to receive him. A long time has elapsed, and too many changes +occurred since then, for it to be expected that I should recollect +exactly what the reflections were which then overpowered me; but as +if it were but yesterday, the feelings which then so unnerved me, are +even now as then fresh before me--but I have strength to drive them +hence. One word in concluding my explanation: I sent an excuse to +Melmoth, declining to see him: in revenge, he carried off my violets, +leaving me instead a few doggrel couplets, which I own I do not +recollect so well as the other parts of the transaction; but,” added +she, forcing a smile, “I know there was a string of rhymes, something +about flowers--hours--powers.--I have done---- + + ‘The very head and front of my offending + Hath this extent. No more.’”-- + +“Fool! dolt! idiot that I am!” exclaimed Castleton. “For this, then, +and no more, have I, with all my boasted superior discrimination, +cast aside my happiness for ever.” + +“Nay,” said Lady Gayland, “I must not even now permit you to speak +thus: nor ever allow myself to touch on these topics again. And now +let us turn our own and our horses’ heads homewards. You have a home, +and to that ’tis time we bend both our thoughts and our course.” + +So saying, and anxious at once to close the conversation, her +impatience as a woman got the better of her usual discretion as an +equestrian. Turning her horse round, she at the same time struck him +smartly with her whip. Thus unexpectedly roused from that torpor, in +which perhaps he had been indulging visions of former triumphs on the +turf, and fancying that the same exertions were required of him, the +fiery animal started eagerly forward. She checked him firmly with the +curb; but, unused to the severity of that bit, this only made him +plunge so violently, as to require all her presence of mind and skill +in riding to maintain her seat. + +“For heaven’s sake let me take hold of his head, and change with me +again!” anxiously exclaimed Castleton, jumping off for that purpose. +But in violently shaking his head, in impatience at the sharpness +of the bit, Lady Gayland’s horse had detached the curb-chain from +the hook: this dangling loose, only maddened him the more; he became +perfectly unmanageable, and after plunging three or four times, more +furiously than ever, though without unseating, or even agitating her, +whose courage rose with the emergency, he at length brought down his +head, and bearing upon the now powerless bit with a dead, determined +pull, he bounded irresistibly onwards at full speed over the echoing +turf. + +What state of mental suspense could equal, in agony, that of +Castleton during these dreadful moments? What, compared to his +feelings, are those of the patient whilst the surgeon is sharpening +his knife? or of the self-conscious criminal, when the death-bearing +verdict is about to be pronounced? For let us do poor human nature +the justice to own, that the fear-fraught sensations of such a moment +far surpass in intensity those which any merely selfish sufferings +could produce. This might still have been the case had he been only +the friend he professed himself: but he was never so well aware how +much dearer she was to him than he would have owned to himself, as +when even the recently-acquired conviction, that by his folly he +had lost her heart, was superseded by the all-engrossing fear, that +by his indiscretion he had endangered her life. And in his anguish +he felt that there was no earthly sacrifice at which he would not +purchase her precious safety. + +At the time Lady Gayland’s horse broke away, he had already +dismounted, which caused a moment’s delay in following her. His +first impulse was digging his spurs into his own more sluggish beast +to attempt to come up with her. But he was too well aware of the +comparative speed of the two animals, which had before been tried on +other fields, not to know that this was impracticable, as long as +the fleetest and the foremost spurned from beneath him the ground he +hardly seemed to touch. Therefore, with eyes constantly fixed on the +object of all his anxieties, and a countenance as haggard as if the +dreaded calamity had already happened, he had only to follow as best +he might, pressing to the utmost his own panting steed. + +There were various extensive grass-rides between avenues in the +wide-spreading domains of Somersby Park; but as these intersected the +open space of turf, and as Lady Gayland’s horse, in its self-directed +course, had either to cross or break into these between the trees, +each was a fresh source of alarm to Castleton. But as yet, his +undaunted rider still maintaining her self-possession, had succeeded +so far in guiding him as to steer him clear of any of these dangers. +At last he rushed into the long avenue which conducted straight to +the front of the house. Thus, therefore, many perils were now past, +but the worst Castleton anticipated was still to be feared, from +the concussion with which, sooner or later, his speed must meet a +sudden check; and this dread increased as he marked how, without +the slightest symptom of tiring, he still pursued his passionate +career. What would not Castleton have given at that moment for wings, +to dart over the short but still increasing space between them? so +disgusted was he with the inadequate efforts of his own flagging and +jaded animal, that he even madly meditated throwing himself off, and +endeavouring by his own exertions to reach her. + +Within a hundred yards of the front of the house, the flying steed +had now arrived in safety, and Lady Gayland was already collecting +all her remaining strength to pull him up with one last attempt, +without recollecting that at that point a by-path conducted through +a shrubbery, at right-angles to the stables. For this the horse made, +with a sudden spring sideways. Lady Gayland, little prepared for so +unexpected a turn, lost her balance, and as the jerk she had at the +same time given caused him to flounder in the same direction, she +had not opportunity to recover herself, and was thrown with violence +against the shrubs on one side of the road. + +Castleton, from the angle that the road had taken, and the thickness +of the shrubbery, had not actually seen the accident, but arriving a +few seconds afterwards, with horror he beheld her lying apparently +lifeless on the spot where she had fallen. + +Throwing himself from his own horse, and rushing to her, he raised +her gently in his arms, and laying her head on his shoulder whilst +he supported her waist with his trembling hand, he gazed anxiously +in her face, to mark the least symptom of returning animation, but +as yet she lay there with the stiffness of a corpse; her eyes were +completely closed, and their long dark lashes seemed to press upon +her cheek. “She’s dead,--she’s dead, and I have killed her!” he +wildly cried. As he said this, her eyes for an instant opened, though +only with a dull unconscious stare; and the hand he held, grasped +his convulsively. “Look up once again!--For my sake live, my best +beloved, my own adored Geraldine!” He paused in vain, hoping that +these passionate exclamations might again wake her into life. A deep +drawn breath from behind was the only sound which in reply struck +upon his ear. He turned round in the direction from whence that sound +proceeded, and within two paces of him--colourless and motionless as +a statue--beheld the figure of his wife! + + + + + CHAPTER XI. + + This may be Nature: when our friends we lose, + Our altered feelings alter to our views; + What in their tempers teazed us, or distressed, + Is with our anger, and the dead, at rest. + And much we grieve, no longer trial made, + For that impatience which we then displayed. + Now to their love, and worth of every kind, + A soft compunction turns the afflicted mind; + Virtues neglected then, adored become, + And graces slighted, blossom on the tomb. + CRABBE. + + +Lucy had been standing at the window of her own apartment, watching +for the return of the equestrians, and from hence she had first +seen with amazement the pace at which Lady Gayland was returning; +Castleton not, as usual, attending closely on her, but lingering some +distance in the rear. It was not till she had seen the violent manner +in which the horse had bolted for the stables, that the truth broke +upon her. She then became dreadfully alarmed, and would have been +at once upon the spot, but that her agitation impeded her tottering +steps. + +Castleton was, as may be supposed, painfully anxious to ascertain +whether Lucy had heard the unguarded expressions which he had +incautiously dropped, but there was nothing in her immediately +subsequent conduct, from which he could form a guess whether this +had been so or not. She assisted with zeal and alacrity in every +thing that was necessary to be attempted to bring Lady Gayland to her +senses, and arranged, in concurrence with Castleton, the manner in +which she had best be conveyed to the house. + +The servants had by this time collected, upon the alarm of seeing the +two horses return without riders to the stables. The removal to the +house was effected without difficulty, which seemed to confirm the +hope that no limb was fractured; and in the shortest possible space +of time, the best medical advice was procured. The surgeon expressed +a fear, from the state of torpor in which she remained, that there +might be a concussion of the brain, and, above all things, enjoined +the strictest quiet, and that she should be left to the care of her +own maid. + +It was not till Lucy was thus dismissed from any further attendance, +that she owned that she herself was far from well; though, indeed, +her countenance (now first observed) showed that she was suffering +acute pain; all that night she was in considerable danger, and the +next morning produced the premature birth of a dead child. + +Castleton, kind and affectionate in his nature, was, as may well be +supposed, driven almost distracted by her fearful state; aggravated +as his anxieties were, by the idea that he had himself been the cause +of the calamity. During some of the moments in which it was thought +most doubtful how it might end, Lucy kept constantly repeating to her +husband, “It was only the fright--it was the fright. I thought she +was killed, and that frightened me so--but that was all:” and this +anxious disavowal of any other cause of agitation, made Castleton +only the more fear that it was too probable she had heard the +expressions into which his alarm had betrayed him. + +Perhaps the perfect quiet in which Lady Gayland was necessarily left, +contributed as much as any thing to her progressive recovery. Lucy +was, of course, unable for some time to go near her, and she availed +herself of the strict rules of English decorum, to exclude Castleton +also, as long as she was confined to her own room. + +As soon as she was sufficiently re-established to be able to move, +Lady Gayland announced that circumstances prevented her from any +longer delaying her departure. She took an affectionate leave of +Lucy, and an unmarked farewell of Castleton. In answer to Lucy’s +inquiries, whether she still felt any ill effects from her fall, she +replied in the negative; professing, at the same time, that she had +no particular recollection of the circumstances which accompanied +the accident. This oblivion, if real, was fortunate; if assumed, was +judicious. + +Castleton and Lucy were thus once more left alone, and had she really +been all in all to him, he could not more tenderly and anxiously +have watched over her slowly returning strength. Before she was by +any means restored to health, this tranquil state was broken in +upon by a melancholy piece of intelligence, which, under present +circumstances, affected Lucy more deeply, perhaps, than would be +imagined by those of my gentle readers who have attended to the +incidents of her early life. A letter arrived from her aunt Alice, +announcing the sudden death of her mother. + +The end of Mrs. Darnell had been in some respects characteristic. It +will be recollected, that her neighbours were few and distant; and +those she had, she did not often visit, excepting one, a farmer’s +wife, who had, in the time of high prices, indulged in luxuries, +which Mrs. Darnell had always thought sinful. Having heard that this +woman’s daughter, a pretty boarding-school miss, had eloped from a +country town with a cornet, Mrs. Darnell could not deny herself the +satisfaction of going over, as she said, to condole with her; though +in reality to impress upon her, how the _edication_ which _she_ had +given _her_ daughter had just fitted her to be a lady of the land. + +The length of this lecture, during the whole of which she had sat in +wet clothes, brought on an inflammatory cold, in the early stages +of which she had grudged herself a doctor, and in the more advanced +period of the disease she had got up and gone down thrice to see the +shamefu’ dinner that Richard had ordered Betty to dress for him, +“which,” she said, “was just of a piece with all the rest.” This was +her last grievance; for, by her ill-timed, economical imprudence, she +had brought on a typhus fever, of which in a few days she had fallen +the victim. + +This event was a severe shock to Lucy. Mrs. Darnell was in no respect +a bad, though an unamiable woman; and in the endearing relation of +mother and daughter, it was impossible that, with such a child as +Lucy, there should not have been many moments which had left an +impression stronger than that of her habitual irritation of temper. +Besides, in these cases, the mind is a sort of intellectual virtuoso, +collecting and treasuring up, in proportion to their rarity, any +traits of kindness which death has stamped with the fictitious value +of reliques. On more general grounds, this melancholy event depressed +Lucy severely. The abrupt manner in which she had heard of the +catastrophe, proved to her how complete was her isolation from the +home of her childhood, how absolute her separation from all those to +whom formerly her every hour had been devoted, and with whom every +care had been divided. She had always considered her parting with her +family as only temporary, but this showed that, whilst with so few +interests in common, communications were so rare between them, their +parting had been transformed into a final one, without that warning +which might have enabled her to have been present at its termination, +or, at any rate, have somewhat prepared her to meet the worst with +fortitude. + +It was on her mother that this first blow had fallen; the same might +shortly be the case with her father. The letter, which announced +her mother’s death, contained little more than a recital of the +melancholy event, and of the circumstances which had attended it; +in the next communication, however, which she received shortly +after from her aunt, much mention was made of her father’s lonely +situation, and she learned how frequently he dwelt upon the privation +of his dear child’s society, a loss which he now so deeply felt. +Feeble as Lucy still was, this excited an immediate and anxious +desire to go to him without delay, and she pressed her request upon +Castleton more earnestly than she had previously done any wish, of +the favourable reception of which she was not certain. Castleton +was too much touched with her present depression of spirits, and, +consequently, too anxious to accede to any desire of hers, to start +any other difficulty than his fears that her strength might not be +equal to the undertaking. + +Morden Bay, it will be recollected, was in a very remote and secluded +situation: there was only one carriage road to it, the same by which +the pic-nic party had returned to Hornscliff, and that, besides being +very rough and difficult, was exactly in an opposite direction to +the place at which they were at present residing. It was difficult, +therefore, to arrange the method of putting her views into execution, +whilst she was still so far from being perfectly recovered, that even +an easy journey would not have been undertaken without fatigue. + +As soon as she could bear the attempt, a plan occurred to Castleton, +by which the difficult part of the undertaking might be overcome. +There was a little sea-bathing place, called Sandford, at about forty +miles distant from Morden Bay, considerably nearer to Somersby, and +here his friend, Lord Stayinmore, had his yacht in waiting for him, +in case he should come back that way from his grouse-shooting in +Scotland. + +Lord Stayinmore was one of those persons, who, with unlimited powers +to multiply their luxuries, often find that there is one thing which +they cannot purchase, which is, the time necessary to the successive +enjoyment of them all. This was quite the case in the present +instance. Whilst staying at Cowes, he had been seized with a sudden +fancy to have a yacht, and belong to the Royal Yacht Club. He had +immediately purchased, at an exorbitant price, the fastest sailer; +but this year the grouse had tempted him into Scotland; and as his +shooting-box is in the Central Highlands, whilst “he lies amongst the +moors,” his yacht was ordered to anchor in some port in the north of +England, in case he should wish for a sail, upon his return. + +It was not very agreeable to Castleton to ask a favour from a man +of Lord Stayinmore’s character; but the circumstances of the case +induced him to get over his delicacy on this head, and he was +rewarded by receiving for answer a most prompt acquiescence in +his request, putting the vessel entirely under his command, with +a profusion of assurances of the peculiar felicity it gave him to +contribute in any way to Lady Castleton’s comfort. The journey to +Sandford was accomplished by easy stages, though hastened by Lucy’s +impatience to relieve her father’s lonely situation. + +Since the second letter of her aunt, Richard Darnell’s solitude had +been broken in upon by a most unexpected return: which had happened +so recently that the event had not been notified in another letter +to Lucy. The ship in which George had been placed had been homeward +bound much sooner than had been contemplated; having been freighted +with some ex-emperor, or potentate on half-pay. George, upon the +receipt of the account of his aunt’s death, had immediately obtained +leave; had started for home to see his uncle, and was at present +staying at Morden Bay. He had hitherto conducted himself, in his new +career, to the complete satisfaction of all his superiors, and his +own merit, coupled with Castleton’s recommendation, had placed him +near his captain, who had made him his clerk and employed him in a +confidential manner. + + + + + CHAPTER XII. + + What other can she seek to see, + Than thee, companion of her bower, + The partner of her infancy? + + She is back again in her sunny home, + And thick and fast the beatings come + Of that young heart, as ’round she sees + The same sweet flowers, the same old trees. + It is her home, but all in vain + Some lingering things unchanged remain; + The present wakes no smile; the past + Have tears to bid its memory last. + + +It was already autumn, but autumn stealing slowly on, in the guise of +summer, when, after a few hours’ sail from Sandford, the yacht made +Morden Bay. Not a ripple was on the wave, hardly a breath in the air, +as the light and graceful vessel rather floated with the tide, than +was impelled by its half-filled and nearly flapping sails, into that +romantic haven. Castleton and Lucy were seated upon the deck. He was +to leave her upon landing, and to return in the yacht to Sandford; as +she could not help completely concurring with him that it was much +better that he should not remain with her, whilst she resided at her +father’s. Still the return without him to scenes from which he only +had separated her, seemed more like a dissolution of their connexion, +than either the distance or the period of their parting appeared to +authorise; and perhaps the same impression was made upon him; for, +during the latter part of the sail, he kept constantly dwelling, with +apparent anxiety to convince himself of their certainty, on the many +projects which he meant to put into execution on their re-union. + +They were landed just in that identical spot, in the centre of +Morden Bay, where Lucy and George had first been discovered by the +party from Hornscliff. The old coble, against which she had then +leant, was still moored upon the beach, and even so did she now lean +with Castleton, whilst the boat’s crew were engaged in carrying the +packages up the cliff. The similarity of their local position, with +the complete change in every other respect which had come over them +since that epoch, to which their memory referred, had, indeed, struck +them both most forcibly. However this might be, perhaps the very +nature of those recollections prevented them from reciprocating their +impressions; or perhaps the continued silence which ensued might only +be produced by the vicinity of Lady Castleton’s maid, who was waiting +to accompany her to the farm. + +Castleton had rather disliked the idea of Mrs. Jenkins being +introduced to a knowledge of her mistress’s name, but he could not +possibly allow her to return home utterly unattended; and as he had +previously intended to change her waiting-woman before long, he had +determined that Jenkins’s service should end with the residence at +the farm. + +As the men had returned, and again taken their stations in the boat, +he proposed to depart, and bidding her tenderly farewell, said, +“Here, then, I now leave you, Lucy.” As he uttered these words, a +melancholy presentiment vibrated through him. _Here_ had been his +first meeting--here might be his last parting; and as he returned +to the yacht, his own words seemed to cling to him, as he mentally +repeated, “_Here_, then, I now leave you, Lucy.” He marked her +mounting up the steep path which led to her father’s house, with +slow and unsteady steps, for she was still feeble; and he compared +her present appearance with the light elastic gait, with which he +had seen her bound up that same path. Who but himself had produced +this sad change? With bitter repentance he thought how completely +his experiment had failed; and the notions, which had induced him +to attempt it, now appeared to him in all the naked deformity of +selfishness, stripped of that disguise of assumed diffidence and +self-distrust, in which habitual sophistry had hitherto concealed +them from his own penetration. He had gradually been convinced how +almost impossible it was to fit her to perform, with comfort to +herself and credit to him, her part in that sphere to which he had so +abruptly transferred her. + +And yet, on the other hand, after the attempts that he had for many +months made to eradicate all early impressions, did she on this +melancholy occasion return the same, to the home of her childhood? +Was it likely that she would now be able as naturally and efficiently +to fulfil all those filial offices which had formerly been her +delight? He asked himself the question, how had he repaid her for +the destruction of so many habitual sources of innocent satisfaction? +Was she now, as she ought to be, the unique object of his thoughts? +He turned his head away in shame at the consciousness of feeling how +unable he was to answer the question as he ought; but he looked on +the wide waste of waters before him, as if to lose himself and his +reflections on that indefinite horizon, rather than own, by a glance +in an opposite direction, that his thoughts turned towards Sandford, +and the possible prospect he thought there was of his there meeting +Lady Gayland. + +But let us not make him out worse than he was: it was no deliberate +intention of this kind which had made him originate the plan; but +perhaps the casual mention, by that lady, of Lord Stayinmore’s yacht +being at the watering-place, to which she might be tempted to go in +the course of the autumn, had first suggested to Castleton the idea +of asking for the loan of the vessel. + +Lucy had by this time, with much effort, half ascended the cliff, and +she now stopped to rest at an angle of the path, in an arbour which +had been constructed by herself and her cousin George, in the days of +their childhood; and as she prepared to seat herself within it, she +clung for support to those own sturdy boughs, which, as tendrils, she +had formerly moulded to her will; and as her maid, on whom she had +leant for assistance in the ascent, was a person in whom she could +not confide, she sat here for a while in silence, reflecting on past +times. She drew her sable-lined cloak more closely about her; for in +spite of the cheerfulness of the scene around, she felt the morbid +chilliness of lingering debility and shattered nerves; ills which, on +that spot, she had certainly never suffered from before; but now she +sat and shivered in the sunshine. + +And even thus she was marked from near by one who longed to offer +assistance, yet dared not. George, at the first seeing her from the +garden above, as she landed from the boat, had rushed downwards; but +his courage had failed him as he approached; and he, who had braved +dangers in every shape, and in every clime, now, on this well-known +spot, feared to encounter the playmate of his infancy, the confidant +of his childhood; and as she neared the spot at which he had +hesitated and stopped, he hid himself, crouching in the copse behind +the arbour, to mark her more closely before presenting himself to her +notice. + +He had known her from a distance; that is, having heard that she +was shortly expected, and to arrive by sea, although the day had +not been fixed, he felt assured that this must be her. Yet, upon +beholding her nearer, so much was she changed, that he felt disposed +to doubt her identity. She had grown much thinner, and this effect +was increased by her mourning attire. He had never before seen her +in the garb of woe, through all the long years which they had passed +together. Custom in her case would not have required her to assume +it for a distant relative, nor had sad necessity obliged her to wear +it for any one whom she would have really lamented. And if (thought +he) she should be as much altered in inward feeling, as in outward +appearance--if even now, sitting alone in that arbour, where we have +together so often lingered, there is a constraint in her manners, +who knows whether that constraint would be removed, or would assume +only a more chilling coldness, at again suddenly beholding the +companion of her youth? This fear pressed so strongly upon his mind +that he stirred not from his concealment, but suffered her to pass on +undisturbed. + +She again commenced languidly ascending the remaining part of the +cliff, leaning on her maid, whose patience was very much exhausted, +and who could not help at last exclaiming; “Well to be sure, my lady, +this is the most horriblest outlandish place I ever seed; I wonder +that you, who knowed afore how bad it was, ever thought of returning +to it again; it would have been different if you had been brought to +it unsight unseen.” + +“Such as it is,” replied Lady Castleton, “there is no carpeted hall +where I have wandered, since last I was here, which I have trodden +with half the pleasure that I feel as I again climb this rugged +ascent.” + +Further comment on the part of her loquacious attendant was for the +present prevented; for they had at length reached the ledge upon +which Bankside Farm-house was situated, and Lucy was received in the +arms of her aunt Alice. + + + + + CHAPTER XIII. + + And if there be a human tear, + From passion’s dross refined and clear-- + A tear so tempered and so meek + That would not stain an angel’s cheek-- + ’Tis that which tender fathers shed + Upon a duteous daughter’s head. + + +Alice Darnell had rather expected her niece on this day, though +none in particular had been specified by Lady Castleton, in the +announcement of her intention. She had, therefore, come over to +her brother’s to meet her. The farmer himself was, at the moment +of her arrival, out superintending his labourers--employment being +more than ever necessary to him. Alice Darnell, therefore, took +this opportunity to announce to Lucy the return of her cousin +George, thinking, with a woman’s recollections of past times, some +preparation for that event expedient. So announced, Lucy was prepared +for the reception of her cousin, when, having first watched her +progress upwards from his hiding-place, he soon afterwards himself +made his appearance. + +Lucy’s greeting of him was frank and cordial; and if there was, on +either side, any awkwardness in the meeting, it was screened from +observation by the immediate entrance of her father, whose voice was +first heard exclaiming, “Where is she? where is’t my darling? my +little Lucy!” and he rushed into her arms. “Hast spoilt her by making +Lady Lucy on her? Noa; there’s still the same gentle look, and kind +eye. But let’s look again: why, she’s a sight thinner nor she was. +Hast not fed, dear? How’s this?” + +“No, father; you forget I’ve been ill, and of course in distress too; +nothing more.” + +“Yees; but the pratty plump cheek’s quite dipped in, I’s sure; and +what’s this?” encircling with the capacious span of his finger +and thumb, her somewhat emaciated arm, through the ample folds of +her crape gigot sleeve, “Why’s not now half the size. Ah! these +vanities,” said he, thrusting his fingers through the bows which, in +the fashion of that day, hung from the shoulder; “this here ribbon +grass is a terrible crop for wasting the soil that grows it. But this +is a sad lonely house you’re come to now, Lucy,” as his thoughts +turned to the cause of her visit; “sad, lonely place, indeed. Why +there’s nobody now to keep nout in order. Cocks and hens just walk in +at the front door, and Betty and the farming-men walk out at the back +jist when they both like; and neither niver stop to ask my leave, +whether one may come in, or t’other gang out; and I’s sure, even the +kitchen clock there, like a big coward, has ticked twice as loud, +since there has been none to talk against it.” + +But seeing that this allusion, homely as it was, to the recent +calamity, had still the effect of upsetting Lucy, and causing her to +weep bitterly, he stopped short, saying, “No; but no more of this at +present;” and, though not celebrated for tact, the intuitive effort +of kind feeling, and true affection, enabled him soon to recover his +composure; and by way of turning the conversation, he asked her, “And +hast seen many fine folks in your fine hoam, Lady Lucy? Ah! let them +come as fine, and as many, and as used to bedizenment as they may be, +there’lt have been none to match my little Lucy in _prattiness_. Her +little nose is still as straight as ever; there’ll have been none +there to put it out of joint.” + +“Dear father, your partiality makes you fancy that there is nothing +in the world like your little Lucy; but if you’d been where I’ve been +biding, you would soon have learnt the difference. We have not seen +much company; but there is one that would in every respect shame me +in the comparison. Lady Gayland is as much above me in beauty, as in +book-learning.” + +“And Lady Gayland has been staying with you at Lord Castleton’s +house?” said George, inquiringly, as if he knew something about her, +that made this a matter of surprise to him. + +“Yes, dear Lady Gayland. But why should that surprise you?” asked +Lucy, in her turn, anxious to find out on what his knowledge of Lady +Gayland was founded; but he evaded further mention of the subject on +that occasion. Some time afterwards, however, when they were alone +together, and she again alluded to Lady Gayland, he also again +hinted his surprise, that she should have been a guest in Castleton’s +house; and when pressed by Lucy to explain what he knew of that lady, +he began by asking whether she remembered Jack Carter. + +This preliminary having, after reciprocal explanation, been assented +to, George continued that, immediately after her wedding, Jack +Carter had returned to Somersby, previously to sailing in the ship +to which Castleton had recommended him, and which was the same to +which George himself belonged. He had remained some few days in the +neighbourhood, to renew acquaintance with his early friends, amongst +whom were many of Lord Castleton’s present establishment; and, upon +joining the ship, he told George, to whom, as acquainted with all the +circumstances, he thought he could, without displeasing his patron, +communicate in confidence; that what most excited the general +surprise at my Lord’s unexpected marriage, was, that it had been the +universal impression, from the reports made by those servants who +had been abroad with him, that he was certainly to be united to Lady +Gayland. + +“Even so I thought. What would I now give that so it had been. +Abroad?--Yes! and then I had never seen him but that once. Who would +not then have been happier?” + +“Happier, Lucy?--then _you_ are not happy?” + +“Do not ask me, dear George; there was a time when I had not a +thought that I would not have shared with you; but now, there are +thoughts which are my husband’s alone. Let us talk of something else. +My poor father!--he’s not fitted to live in an empty house; I wish +you’d fill it for him, George.” + +“How do you mean, Lucy, ‘fill it?’” + +“That you should marry, George. Nay, do not start so; I know that you +will say that your profession takes you much abroad; but then your +wife might bide your return. She would be a comfort to my father, he +would be a protector to her; and this house might be a home to all.” + +“No, Lucy; I’d better now never try to have a home; a roving life is +my best resource. Change stands to me in the place of comfort; and +bustle does instead of happiness. One could not get a home at once, +either, just by the wishing it. My notion of home is, that every +thought, feeling, and wish should be in perfect concert, and that the +house should be the last thing to be in common.” + +“This,” thought Lucy, “is his notion of home: how different has been +my experience of it!” + +But Lucy was not the only person under her father’s roof, at the +present moment, who thought that it would well become George to take +a wife. + +Mrs. Jenkins, Lucy’s maid, being now completely enlightened on the +subject of her mistress’s origin, thought, perhaps, that there must +be something in the atmosphere of Morden Bay, to make _més-alliances_ +epidemic; and with so exaggerated a case of that description before +her, as the elevation of the farmer’s daughter to the peerage, it +was no great stretch of her imagination, to fancy that she might +captivate a petty officer; and, as she had here little to do, and +nobody to see but George, who was a good-looking manly youth, it was +natural for her to suppose herself in love with him. + +Mrs. Jenkins had good eyes and teeth; and though her freshness had +been somewhat impaired by late hours, having been forced to watch +in solitude the return of daylight, and a succession of _young_ +mistresses, yet she dressed herself with as much care and success as +her lady, and was altogether rather a smart figure. But if she had +been ten times as attractive, it is certain that George would, in his +present position, have viewed her with indifference, or rather, not +looked on her at all. + +When she could no longer resist this conviction, her self-complacency +could not otherwise account for the fact than by imagining that +he had raised his aspiring eyes as high as her mistress; and this +idea once received, she became impatient to leave her service, and +make as much mischief of her discovery as she could. The defective +accommodation of the farmer’s house was the plea upon which she +chose to put her departure. “Very sorry, my lady, but I find it +quite _un_possible to remain, if I’m to sleep in the _hole_ in which +they’ve thrust me.” + +“Why, what’s the matter with your room, Jenkins?” + +“Why, my lady, it can’t be supposed that I’m to put up with _stuccy_; +I’ve always been used to be _papered_, ever since I went first into +service.” + +“I can only say, Jenkins, that the room in which you at present are, +is the one out of which _I_ never slept till within the last few +months.” + +“P_a_rfectly possible, my lady; but there’s a difference between what +some people are ’customed to, and what other people _were_ ’customed +to.” + +Further attempts to appease the irritated Abigail, predetermined +to be affronted, only produced fresh impertinence; and this being +overheard by George, brought down a sharp rebuke, which did not +propitiate his slighted admirer. The result was, that as no attempt +to persuade her to stay appeared to Lucy likely to succeed, she was +allowed to depart in a fishing-boat for Sandford. + +Though Lucy, from motives of delicacy, had declined entering into +any explanation with George, as to the disappointment which she had +experienced in the state of her husband’s feelings towards her; yet +she did not think it necessary to maintain the same reserve with +her aunt Alice. But even to her, her regrets were general, always +accompanied with the expressed consciousness of her own deficiencies +and unfitness; and, if she had gathered any specific cause of +uneasiness from what she might have overheard in the shrubbery, not +even to the feminine confidante of her early years, did she suffer +any complaint on that head to pass her lips. + +Alice, whose acuteness and experience had foreseen the probability +of many of the drawbacks on her niece’s elevation, which had since +occurred, (though they, of course, did not appear so inevitable as +to justify her in opposing what was otherwise so advantageous,) could +now do no more than advise her to hasten and mitigate, as much as +she could, any expectations of exclusive devotion; and to use every +exertion that in _her_ conduct, at least, no cause of censure might +arise. + + + + + CHAPTER XIV. + + Those who murder fame, + Kill more than life-destroyers. + + +Castleton, for the first few days at Sandford, led a listless, +lounging, watering-place kind of life. Lady Gayland was not yet come; +nor did he, among the many casual acquaintances that he encountered, +find any one calculated to be a resource. On the contrary, one +unexpectedly crossed his path here, the renewal of whose acquaintance +was most unwelcome; he would even have given much to avoid it. In +passing, at dusk one afternoon, by a trinket-shop on the cliff, +he heard his name uttered, inquiringly, out of a dark-coloured +chaise, with rose-coloured blinds. So summoned, he approached, +and, though the light was already too far gone to give more than +a general view of the features of the person who addressed him, +yet a disagreeable conviction at once occurred to him, through the +concurrent accumulation of rouge and wrinkles, that he once more +beheld Lady Madelina Manfred. She addressed him in the sickly tone of +resuscitated sentiment, and requested him to call upon her the next +day. + +There was hardly any thing that he would not rather have done, and +yet there was hardly any thing that he could not better refuse to +do; and next morning saw him unwillingly winding his way towards a +cottage _orné_ on the cliff, which, with the dark-coloured chariot, +had been the produce of her recruited finances. Poor Manfred had, at +length, drank himself to death in the Bench; she had therefore come +upon the entailed property for her settled jointure; had quarrelled +with, and left Captain O’Connor in Connaught; and, with somewhat +diminished powers, was trying whom she could captivate here, to use +either as an agreeable _passe-temps_, or as a permanent settlement. + +For Castleton she had always retained a lingering partiality; their +connexion, such as it was, had taken its date just at that period +of her life, when a woman of her description is peculiarly sensible +of the admiration of a very young man. He was since married, and +therefore she could not look forward to any renewal of their +_liaison_; but as she was not conscious of any other change, least of +all in herself, she still expected from him much devotion of manner. +But Castleton’s feelings towards her were now, on the contrary, +under the influence of that most powerful of all re-actions, the +thorough consciousness of having, with very little excuse, made a +very great fool of himself. He was now perfectly aware of all those +faults in her character, to which he had formerly been wofully +blind; and he could not even discover the traces of those personal +attractions which had alone been the cause of that blindness. +Therefore, though her reception of him was evidently studied; +her address to him tender and languishing; and the effect of her +appearance, assisted by the softened light that oozed through the +triply-folded curtains; yet, in spite of all this, his manner was as +cold as it was constrained. + +Lady Madelina had always had a passion for presents; and on this +occasion, several trinkets, said to have been sent to her for choice, +were artfully displayed upon the table. Castleton could not mistake +the hint intended; but he hesitated at first, between a dislike to +take this particular method of checking her expectations, and the +danger of encouraging these too far, by acceding to her evident wish. +At last, as the best way of making good his retreat out of the room, +he begged her acceptance of the article which seemed most to have +tempted her fancy; accompanying his exit with an expression of his +regret that he was so much occupied at present, that he could have +but few opportunities of repeating his visit. + +This occupation, which was imaginary at the time that it was so +pleaded, was soon afterwards realized; for Lady Gayland arrived the +next day, and was followed almost immediately by St. Clair and some +other young men; as well as by two or three families, who having +latterly been staying at the country-house where she has been on a +visit, near Somersby, had been principally tempted by her to take +Sandford in their way homewards. + +Under these circumstances, Castleton found it very difficult now to +see her alone; a difficulty which she seemed by no means anxious to +remove. How wise would he have thought this determination in any +other case: how little justice did he do to its discretion in his +own. A man, under the influence of an unhappy passion, feeling the +obligation, but not having the power to resist it, is often the most +senseless animal in creation: always prone to misconstrue the actions +of the object of his devotion; unreasonable in his expectations of +demonstrations towards himself, and fastidiously criticising her +deportment towards any one else; equally ready to exact in the one +case, or exaggerate in the other. + +In spite, however, of her previous determination to avoid it, the +intimate footing of society at a small watering place, and the tacit +acquiescence, if not expressed understanding, by which, on these +occasions, those two people are allowed to be most together whose +society is supposed to be the most agreeable to each other, led to +interviews which dangerously reminded them both of past times, and +produced some little gossip even beyond their immediate circle. + +Lady Madelina had, ever since Castleton’s visit, and consequent +_cadeau_, pestered him with incessant pointedly-expressed +rose-coloured notes; which, after a time, he was rather apt to leave +unanswered. The cause of this she was anxious to discover. Her +position in the world was a doubtful one; she had been avoided, never +excluded; no record had ever appeared against her: Captain O’Connor, +and Connaught, were equally distant and unknown. She, therefore, +at a watering place, hovered sufficiently within the outskirts of +society to have occasional opportunities of observing Castleton. At +a raffle, which was held at one of the libraries, she met him with +Lady Gayland hanging on his arm, and addressing him with an easy +assurance, which she probably had acquired in the western province of +the sister country, said, + +“Introduce me to your _new_ friend.” + +“Excuse me;” was the laconic reply, pointedly expressed. + +“This from _you_ to _me_!” was the equally concise retort, as she +floated by. + +There is nothing in the world so vindictive as an irritated fool; and +an unexpected opportunity occurred of venting, in a congenial manner, +her spiteful feelings. + +The maid whom Lucy had been obliged to dismiss from Morden Bay, was +landed at Sandford, and sought what might for her too truly be +termed a suitable service with Lady Madelina Manfred. It had always +been Lady Madelina’s custom to confide much in her maid, though the +services which she had required had generally been in aid of a softer +passion than hatred. The information that her new attendant had been +living with Lady Castleton, gave her an immediate clue to all the +discoveries that she most wished to make; and she was not a little +surprised to find, upon inquiry, that his present wife could be no +other than the little girl whom they had together seen, during their +excursions on the shores of Morden Bay. The details given by Mrs. +Jenkins, of the state of the establishment during the time that she +lived with the Castletons, and particularly of the present family +union at Bankside Farm, furnished ample food for mischief, had Lady +Madelina possessed powers equal to her desire, to wield the weapons +thus placed in her hands. + +But there is one device, the attempt of which is open to the poorest, +the effects of which may content the most rancorous spirit. An +anonymous letter is a mode of moral murder, which, using only a +pen for a poniard, and an inkstand for a bowl, poisons confidence, +and stabs characters without fear of detection. A man who thus +“filches from me my good name,” is free from any dread of having +the stolen goods found upon him; and malignity, thus refined by +cowardice, feasts satisfactorily upon the mere distant imagination +of the success of its designs. This was the sort of revenge which +it occurred to Lady Madelina to take; and, collecting some topics +for mischief from her maid, she concocted the following epistle for +Lucy in a feigned hand; a disguise by no means complete, since the +highly-scented vellum paper, which was made use of, would have +suggested to any one less artless than Lucy, the sort of person +from whom it came. It began with those assurances with which every +anonymous letter abounds. + +“_A friend_, deeply _interested_ in the welfare of Lady Castleton, +begs most anxiously to warn her of the doubly dangerous precipice on +which she at present stands. On one side her character is cruelly +traduced, and spies set over her to endeavour to collect proofs of +her criminal attachment to _one_ whom it is unnecessary to name, but +for whom the person who thus cautions her, feels assured that she +only entertains an innocent regard. At the same time attempts are +carrying on here by the same artful woman, who is thus working her +ruin, to rob her of her husband’s affections. This object, the friend +who now writes is afraid will be more likely to be accomplished than +the first part of the scheme. At any rate, why is Lady Castleton +not here? In regard alike for her reputation and her happiness, she +ought not to delay her return another instant: already her absence +is represented as arising from indifference to Lord Castleton, and +partiality for another. She is young in the world, and has much to +learn; and will not suffer by taking this hint from her sincere +friend,--Experience.” + +Whatever might be the extent of the malice with which this was +written, the degree of misery which it inflicted on the poor girl +to whom it was addressed, must have excited some compunction if it +could have been witnessed by its author; especially as Lucy was not +herself so much the object, as the means, of attack upon the other +two intended victims. + +Lucy, with this death-warrant of her happiness, as she considered +it, in her hand, felt as solitary in the centre of her family, as +she had done in the midst of the strange society to which she had +been transplanted. To whom could she willingly confide insinuations +so degrading to herself, so injurious to her husband? The experience +of the short time that had elapsed since her return to Bankside, had +served to convince her how little the greater part of what she had +lately learnt, could be understood by those amongst whom she had +previously lived. She could not, therefore, for the world acknowledge +to her father, still less to her cousin, that she could believe +that there was any foundation in that which was asserted about her +husband: and as little, she knew, would they credit what was said +about herself. Nay, she even shrunk from showing the odious letter to +her aunt, with whom she felt that she could have no half confidences. +And yet to herself she could not deny, that she thought she ought, if +possible, to follow the advice it contained, of an immediate return +to her husband--but on what grounds to explain to her family such a +previously unmentioned design? + +An occasion, however, offered the very next day, while she was +repining in secret over the contents of the hateful communication, +which enabled her to attribute to the peculiar convenience of the +opportunity, her intention to avail herself of it. + +Lord Stayinmore had had his yacht down to Scotland, to convey him +Southward, but having, before its arrival, changed his mind, and +being anxious to give some plausible reason for so doing, he had sent +it back, with an elaborately civil note to Lady Castleton, saying +that “he had desired his vessel might call at the Bay where she had +landed, (he had forgotten its name,) to express his hope that she +would do him the honour to avail herself of it to return home again, +to gladden the sight of the living world.” + +Lucy, considering this arrival as almost providential, signified her +intention of immediately availing herself of the offer. In vain her +father and her aunt endeavoured to dissuade her, she showed a fixed +determination to abide by her intention, for which they could not +account. She, who was generally so gentle and pliable, was on this +occasion positive and unalterable. She refused, even, to detain the +vessel till the next morning; merely urging as a reason that, as it +was a convenience offered, and a favour conferred, she felt it right +to avail herself of it, without delay, if at all. + +George had stood by in silence during the time that this little +family debate was carried on in the garden in the front of the house, +not wishing to obtrude his opinion in opposition to what appeared +to be Lucy’s decided intention; but he watched the while, with some +inquietude, indications of the weather, which his general nautical +experience, and previous knowledge of the signs to be remarked on +that particular spot, combined to make him fear promised but a rough +and disagreeable passage for a delicate female. + +The season was now far advanced: autumn, though still gleaming +with an insidious smile, appeared generally in its own blustering +nakedness. As they stood in the little garden, amongst the now bare +and lifeless bushes, the fallen leaves rustled round them in fitful +eddies. The wind, though not loud or high, was unsteady. The little +vessel, although moored within the sheltered bay, in smooth, and +apparently unruffled waters, heaved slowly and solemnly under the +influence of a heavy ground swell from without; and though, with the +exception of some light, fleecy clouds, whose fantastic shapes seemed +to sport in the sunshine, the sky was generally clear, yet a low, +thick bank at sea, which lingered in the offing, appeared to George +to threaten some unpleasant weather at night, should the little skiff +not be able to make the port of Sandford before dark. Danger he did +not himself contemplate; and he wished not to prognosticate evil, +when she seemed so determined not to be dissuaded from starting; +he therefore merely urged that, if she intended to depart that +day, there would be no unnecessary delay. She thanked him, with an +expressive glance, for not having opposed himself to her wishes. + +“One night more, dear Lucy,” said her father, as she turned to +prepare for her departure. + +“My dear father, trust me, I would not refuse what I should myself +so much wish, had I not reasons, which I cannot explain, but which +convince me of the necessity of no delay.” + +“You will at least, though, allow me to accompany you as far as +Sandford,” said George. “Quite alone with strange sailors, you cannot +think of undertaking the voyage.” + +Lucy hesitated how to reply to this request. The perfect purity of +her own mind, and the correctness of her conduct, made it difficult +for her to fancy that any one could believe the insinuation in +the anonymous letter, of her continued attachment to her cousin. +Sometimes the recollection of past feelings would, perhaps, raise +a sigh to what might have been; but she never had thought of those +times and her cousin, but as referring to prospects which her conduct +had closed for ever against her; still if such reports had been +spread, the idea of returning to her husband in company with George, +caused her more fear than the alternative of braving the dangers +of the voyage alone. She therefore answered, “I had rather go by +myself, dear George.” + +But her father was not so easily satisfied: the experience of an +unexpected bereavement, to one previously so prosperous, had made +him, for the present, morbidly alive to danger. “I’m not now,” he +said, “the fool-hardy swaggerer that I used to be; who just thought +no harm could happen, because it hadn’t happened afore. Yet even now +Richard Darnell’s fears are not to be slighted; and I shall jist have +no rest, unless you take George wi’ you.” To the desire thus urged by +her father, and seconded by her aunt’s entreaties, Lucy gave way, and +consented that George should accompany her. He immediately proceeded +to facilitate preparations for their departure; but even with his +exertions they were rather tardy, and it was much later than he could +have wished before they embarked. + +Richard Darnell, and his sister, once more stood side by side to +watch the departure of their beloved Lucy, though under different +circumstances. Their fears were complicated, and their hopes were +chastened, since they had marked her borne away from the church by +her noble bridegroom. They had ascended the cliff, and reached the +ledge on which the farm-house was situated, just as the little bark +cleared the promontory of the bay; and as the freshening breeze met +them on their ascent to the upper land, they turned again to watch +the progress of a vessel that bore a freight so precious to them +both; and they observed, with no little anxiety, that she, at the +same moment began to pitch sharply and violently as she cut through +the increasing foam of the now unsheltered waters. + + + + + CHAPTER XV. + + For several virtues + Have I liked several women. Never any + With so full soul, but some defect in her + Did quarrel with the noblest grace she owed, + And put it to the foil. But you, O you, + So perfect and so peerless, are created + Of every creature’s best. + SHAKSPEARE. + + Have not all past human beings parted? + And must not all the present one day part? + + +It has been said that it was Lady Gayland’s intention to avoid, +as much as possible, the particular attentions of Castleton. +The difficulty of carrying this intention into effect very much +increased, as the society, in which they lived, itself diminished. +It is a hard task too, to have always to count the sentences you may +with discretion accord to one whose society you prefer; particularly +as there was nothing actually in Castleton’s deportment to put the +most prudent upon her guard. Since that eventful day at Somersby, +when circumstances had betrayed him into an unfortunate indiscretion, +his address to her had always been studiously unobjectionable. It was +only when, acting upon her present system, she made her attentions to +any one else more conspicuous, that his impatience prevented him from +altogether concealing his feelings: at other times, when enjoying her +society, he seemed to be perfectly convinced that she could never be +to him other than a chosen companion. + +Lady Gayland was fully conscious of the danger of this position; she +wanted not the innuendoes of the world to enlighten her as to its +tendency; her own heart was to her the best warning that it was a +provisional state of things which could not always continue. Could +she have foreseen its natural termination, she would have been most +desirous to await that;--but when was it to end? The return of Lady +Castleton, with her partiality for herself, would only facilitate and +organise an intimacy. With this conviction upon her mind, after many +painful struggles, her resolution was taken; and when once decided, +the arrangements in furtherance of it were made immediately, and in +secret. She was most anxious to avoid, if possible, any thing in the +shape of remonstrance from Castleton; but, above all, a protracted +contest on the subject, which she felt must be peculiarly painful. + +It was the afternoon of the same day on which Lucy embarked from +Morden Bay, that Castleton, upon calling at Lady Gayland’s lodgings, +was struck with the denuded and uninhabited appearance of the +apartment, from which all its comforts had been removed. He had +hardly time to make this observation, when a travelling carriage, +heavily laden, drove up to the door, and at the same moment, Lady +Gayland, equipped as for a journey, entered the room. Her countenance +was calm, but unusually pale; and a slight tremor betrayed itself +through the forced firmness of her voice, as she said, “Castleton, +you know I never had any opinion of a system of palliatives: a +disagreeable thing that must be done decidedly, may as well be +communicated directly. If you--if you--regard me, do not attempt to +dissuade me from what I would myself avoid, if possible. I am about +to leave Sandford--and--_I winter at Rome_.” + +“At Rome!” repeated Castleton, starting back, and concentrating into +the tone in which he uttered those two words, the expression of +despair at extinguished happiness. “At Rome! No--it must not be.” + +At that moment a servant came in to fetch Lady Gayland’s +writing-desk, which, alone, had not yet been consigned to the +carriage. It was one of those inopportune entrances, which it was +difficult to bear, but still more difficult to resist. The moments +occupied in enclosing the desk in its case seemed interminable: it +was impossible that one word could meanwhile be exchanged between +the parties. Castleton had turned his back at once, upon the man’s +entrance, and stood, without moving, with his face towards the +chimney-piece; and Lady Gayland watched, with intense anxiety, all +the varied workings of his expressive countenance, as portrayed in +the mirror before him. When at length the servant had again left +the room, Castleton turned slowly round, advanced towards Lady +Gayland, took her hand between his, and with effort gasped forth, +“Geraldine--you are right!” + +This unexpectedly generous acquiescence in the propriety of her +determination, powerfully increased all her feelings in his favour, +and added therefore to the difficulty of concealing her own weakness. +Again, for some moments, they stood as silent as if an eye-witness +had been in the room: at last he continued--“’Tis, however, somewhat +sudden. I cannot yet quite forget what my prospects were the last +hour--what they are this. Mystery and concealment need no longer +be maintained, when all will so soon be over. Of course, I cannot +conceal from myself that _I_ am connected with this determination.” + +“Castleton, I had hoped, by the course which I have taken, to have +been spared explanation, useless to you--injurious to myself: +but after the noble and disinterested manner in which you have +facilitated the execution of my project, by acknowledging its +propriety, I cannot refuse to answer your question, if you press for +reply.” + +“I press for nothing that can be painful to yourself. I _can_ have no +claim on you.” + +“You feel that it is not necessary,” added she, faintly smiling, “to +force me to a verbal confession that it was the influence which I +felt you _must_ have over my actions, if I stayed, which has induced +me to take this irrevocable step.” + +“This candid avowal, at such a moment, only the more completely +exposes the folly of my former wilful blindness. But think not now +that I ever dared to shape my rash hopes into any other form than +the being allowed on sufferance the enjoyment of your society: I had +not the shadow of an excuse for further presumption. Had I first +known you bound in loathsome chains, I fear that a sense of moral +obligation might have in vain attempted to arrest the force of my +passion in its endeavours to break these chains asunder. But you are +still free--free as when I first loved you; and I am the cause of my +own bondage. That fatal mistake--I had had painful experience of your +sex--and by this I blindly judged a manner peculiar to yourself--I +thought myself again deceived: I felt that any thing like you, yet +not yourself, would be unendurable. I sought, therefore, in another +rank of life a perfect contrast. All that I could, in common reason, +have expected in such an experiment, I have obtained: and with it +every tie of honour obliges me to be satisfied--and so I will. Go, +dearest Lady Gayland, where prudence calls you. I have again deceived +myself in fancying that I could live with you as a friend. The +attempt has been useless. Go--you may still be happy in forgetting +him who has only himself to blame.” + +“No; not entirely so. I feel that I likewise was formerly much to +blame; but my error was unintentional. I was always a strange, +unaccountable creature: I never could drill my deportment into +intelligible discipline; and, singular as it may seem, the same +heedless appearance was sometimes caused by directly opposite +feelings. It was, I believe, those very high spirits, produced by the +conviction of your attachment, which excited, at Rome, that levity +of which you complained: had I been more of a coquette at heart, I +should have been less a coquette in manner. Here, on the contrary, +where I have been really unhappy, as the sad certainty broke upon me +that I could not consider you only as a friend, though still hoping +that mine was a love as passionless as human heart can know, I have +endeavoured to lose for a moment that consciousness in the frivolous +society of others. Believe me, a gay tone often conceals more +anguish than it causes.” + +“I believe all you say--I admire all you do--I despise myself--and I +submit.” + +“The carriage is quite ready, my Lady,” said a servant opening the +door, and then closing it again. + +“O not yet!” exclaimed Castleton, “I had so much more to say.” + +“Is it, for either of our sakes, desirable to prolong these sad +moments?” + +“No; and yet I would postpone, if it were even for an instant, the +dreary void in existence which will succeed your departure. Whilst +you are still here, I have not yet the actual consciousness that she, +who was but this morning the charm of every prospect, has for ever +faded from my sight. But this is wrong; your firmness deserves better +support from me. I feel the value, especially to you, of appearances +on this occasion. One moment more, and I will be ready.” + +He took two or three hasty strides across the room--clenched his +hands violently--pressed his teeth against his closed lips--and then, +with forced composure, said, “Now I am ready to attend you to your +carriage.” + +As they descended the first flight of stairs, Lady Gayland softly +murmured, “One word at parting: cherish your wife; she loves you, and +_you_ should at least make _her_ happy.” + +Castleton pressed her arm against his heart, and nodded assent. + +“Not quite ready, my Lady,” said the same servant, “the chaise seat +was forgot, in Mademoiselle’s room.” + +As they had with much effort screwed their courage to the point, +this suspense was even more painful than their parting would have +been a few moments before; but there was no resource, and they +stood leaning against the wall at the head of the first flight +of steps. Availing himself of this opportunity, Castleton added, +“You will at least allow me to write to you; there are so many +subjects--indifferent subjects I mean--in the retired life that I +intend to lead, and I shall have no one near me with whom I can +communicate. To this, at least, there can be no objection.” + +To this request Lady Gayland hesitated how to reply. “For the +present,” said she, “let us settle nothing but separation; it may be +a satisfaction to us hereafter that, at least for the time, we made +that complete.” + +“Quite ready, my Lady,” was again announced, before Castleton could +further urge his request. As they descended the stairs they seemed +both nerved for the trial of the ultimate parting. Groups of idlers +on horseback, casual acquaintances returning from the parade, made +this exertion the more necessary. “An odious day,” exclaimed one. +“The most disagreeable that I ever knew,” added another;--and so they +passed on, without in the least suspecting that those whom they thus +concisely greeted, and in whom they remarked nothing particular, were +in the act of perfecting the greatest mutual sacrifice that the world +could require from either. Their hands had at length been severed, +the door was closed, and the carriage in motion, when Lady Gayland +covered her face, and sobbed aloud, exclaiming indistinctly; “The +blinds--the blinds--quick. Angélique, _les rideaux, tirez les donc_.” + +“You are ill, my Lady; _will_ we stop?” + +“Stop! No; faster--still faster:” and overwhelmed with long +suppressed emotion, she burst into an hysterical fit of tears. + + + + + CHAPTER XVI. + + O, I have suffered + With those that I saw suffer: a brave vessel + Who had no doubt some noble creatures in her, + Dashed all to pieces! + SHAKSPEARE. + + +The evening, which was pronounced odious by the loungers at Sandford, +closed in dark and louring over the little vessel still far distant +from that port which she was endeavouring to make. + +Lucy had been guilty of an imprudent piece of generosity on first +coming on board. Castleton had always given her an unbounded command +of money, wishing to provide against the danger of her having +imbibed parsimonious inclinations from her mother. Upon their last +separation, too, he had forced upon her a larger sum than usual; +thinking it not unlikely that she might wish to make a present to her +family, as from herself, without putting them under an obligation +to him: but as Farmer Darnell had resolutely refused to receive +money from her in any shape, knowing from whom the funds must be +derived, she still found herself with an over-burthened purse; and, +under a restless desire to give to some one, and a dislike to cause +unrequited trouble, she had made a much more liberal present to be +divided amongst the crew of Lord Stayinmore’s yacht, than they had +previously expected, or than they afterwards merited. For, without in +the least meaning to assert, that an amateur’s crew may not be the +best in the world, the crew of a neglected yacht may be supposed +likely to get a little disorganized. The certainty of this being +their last voyage for the season, joined to the prospect of ample +funds, provided for them by Lady Castleton, which they would soon be +at liberty to spend at their own pleasure, determined them to make +clear ship of what they yet had in store; having found out therefore +that their passenger George, was something of a seaman, the helm, +after having been transferred from one to the other of the crew, +was at length consigned to him. George readily accepted the trust; +believing from his knowledge of the local difficulties of the coast, +that he could steer her with the greatest safety. But he was not a +little uneasy when he saw the purpose for which this trust had been +abandoned to him. + +Lucy sat near the helmsman, inquiring occasionally as to their +progress, which seemed to her impatience slow and tedious. George +endeavoured, as far as truth permitted, to tranquillize her; but his +own anxieties increased, as he watched the unclear and thickening +aspect of the weather, and at the same time noted, in the excited +countenances of the crew, as they occasionally peered above the +hatchway, how much they were unfitting themselves for that calm and +efficient assistance, which he knew must soon be required. + +George’s situation was a difficult one; he could not leave the helm, +nor could he vociferate all he feared, to the unconscious crew, +without the danger of alarming Lucy. At length, he caught within +hail one straggler from the revellers below; and whispering to him +energetically the necessity of preparing to resist the danger, which +was now imminent, said, “Are you already so blinded, you besotted +drivellers, as not to see it yourselves? I have witnessed some stiff +gales and rough weather in every part of the world; but with this +wind, and the lee-shore, and the reef of rocks to weather with an +ebb-tide, I never saw threaten an uglier night, or one that required +more care.” + +The man stood with the stupid, would-be-wise look of incipient +inebriety, and said he would go and tell his messmates. + +Lucy evidently saw, by George’s anxious countenance, that all was +not right, and looked up to him, inquiring, as if demanding that +he should not conceal from her his thoughts; but as a driving rain +was just then added to the discomforts of the lowering evening, he, +instead of saying any thing in confirmation of her now awakened +fears, only urged that she should retire below, and not unnecessarily +expose herself to the storm. But she shook her head, saying, “No, +George; in my earliest dangers I was used to cling to you for +protection; and it seems more natural-like to bide by you, if we are +now in danger--are we, George?” + +“Danger? no. There’s nothing but what such a tight built bark as +this ought to ride through in safety; but nothing’s to be done +without hands. If you could but call the skipper, Lucy; I cannot +leave the helm, even for a moment.” Lucy rose on the instant, and, +impressed with the idea of exerting herself for the common safety, +she trod the rolling deck with unusual firmness and security. The +sound of her voice unexpectedly calling upon them, and urging them +solemnly to return to their duty, roused the besotted revellers from +their orgies, and they tumbled, one after the other, upon deck, and +immediately began to consider as to the best method of meeting the +danger. + +George, now relieved from the helm, insisted upon conveying Lucy to +the cabin, where she would be more safe from the boisterous rudeness +alike of the weather and of the crew. “George, I see that you think +there’s danger; tell me the truth, I pray you; it will be better for +me.” + +“I can only repeat, that there ought to be no danger; but there are +points between here and Sandford, which require steady heads, and +skilful pilotage, to weather. The night, too, has set in darker than +I had hoped, and there are those aboard that are not so clear as they +might be; I certainly fear that, with this wind, we shall not get any +more sea-room. But the best safeguard is, that no one should stand +idle, whose hand and head are alike steady; so I must leave you, +Lucy.” + +“One moment, George; if the worst should happen; that is, if the ship +should go down, think not of me. You, a man, active, and an excellent +swimmer, might easily save yourself. As for me, though I would not +sinfully hasten my end, believe me I feel still less disposed to +avoid it; for I should not in the least regret to die.” + +“No, Lucy; the first instinct of my nature was to assist you, and I +should now selfishly bless the danger that gave me an unlooked-for +opportunity of either dying with you, or being the means of your +salvation.” + +“But if to save me be beyond your power, then take this little watch +to my husband. Tell him that he tossed it to me carelessly before he +loved me; that I valued it as a relic, after he had ceased to love +me, and that only with the prospect of impending death did I part +with it. No, not even yet will I do so; it will be more proper to +keep it till the last,” said she, checking herself, and again hanging +it round her neck, and pressing it to her heart. “But, haste, you’re +wanted, George;” as a discordant cry for him was heard from the crew +above. + +“Where are we, Sir?” eagerly asked several voices together. + +“Why, fools, dolts, lubbers,” cried George, indignant, and at the +same time alarmed, “by the bearing of those two lights, we should be +as near as possible over Sunken-Spike Head.” + +“No more a lubber than yourself; and we’re no more there than we are +in hell,” answered the offended skipper. But before the words had +well passed his lips, the violence of a sudden shock laid the greater +part of the already unsteady crew prostrate on the deck; and the +rest, thus completely sobered, too surely knew, from the pointed form +of the hidden rock, that an incurable leak must be sprung. + +“The boat--the boat,” was the immediate cry. The boat was soon +lowered, and Lucy, almost unconscious, was carried into it by George. +The crew followed immediately, but in much greater numbers than so +small a bark could possibly hold, with any prospect of escape to +the passengers. But all remonstrance on this subject was rendered +unavailing; for whilst in this state, the boat was raised for an +instant on the surface of an enormous breaker, then dashed with +overpowering force against the side of the vessel; and it being thus +completely swamped, every one endeavoured to provide for his own +safety as best he might. George, supporting Lucy on one arm, and +maintaining his hold of a stray plank with the other, was left at the +mercy of the contending billows. + + + + + CHAPTER XVII. + + Was it her corpse that he bore for miles, + When he gladly dreamt of her grateful smiles? + Silently, as he bore her on, + Her soul from its gentle frame has gone, + And never on earth shall his heart discover + The moment her love and her life were over. + * * * * + + Lay her i’ the earth; + And from her fair and unpolluted flesh + May violets spring! + SHAKSPEARE. + + +Castleton had passed all that night in wakeful solitude. He had +dismissed his servant early, as if to write; but instead, had watched +through the sleepless hours, absorbed in somewhat tardy reflections +on the state to which he had reduced himself. How many prospects, +which opening life had shown him in perspective, had he unaccountably +missed in the actual attainment! How many sources of happiness had +been dried up, whilst he, instead of partaking of their spontaneous +flow, had been refining over-much on their component qualities. Too +true it was, that he, the favoured child of nature and fortune, +had signally failed, both in securing his own happiness, and in +contributing to that of others: and yet, in the result, he had no one +but himself to blame. + +The silence of the hour, and the sad abstraction of his thoughts +conspired to invest any extraneous object, which should force his +attention, with the morbid impressions of his imagination. The fitful +gusts of the moaning wind seemed to speak a solemn and piteous +warning to him. He rose and drew aside the window-curtains. The dim +and struggling dawn had just begun to win its hard-fought way through +the dense masses of fast-rolling clouds, which rushed onwards to +oppose its progress. For one moment he felt freshened, as he exposed +his burning brow to the driving rain. Looking forth, he beheld at his +own door, a houseless mendicant, with a child in her arms, crouching +for shelter; and as he dropt a coin into her hand, he thought, “Poor +wretch! your sorrows are not of your own devising. One ought to be +thankful, that neither oneself, nor a beloved one, is exposed to such +a night as this.” + +He had hardly again closed the window, when a noise was heard below, +and Carter, who had been staying with him lately, rushed into the +room, evidently endeavouring, but in vain, through his consternation +and distress, so to collect himself, as to be able to break to his +patron some dreadful news. + +“O my Lord! prepare for the worst. My Lady!--they’re bringing her +here!--but it’s all over.” + +Before he could at all relieve Castleton’s agonizing suspense, the +frantic figure of George stood before them; his eyes staring wildly, +and his drenched appearance showing from whence he had just emerged. + +“She’s dead!--she’s dead! You’ll look your last on her now; and +cursed be the hour when you first beheld her!” + +“Hold, man!” said Carter; “respect his feelings.” + +“His feelings! what were his feelings for her compared with mine? Who +was it, who, in the moment of danger was present, to struggle for her +safety? He who had sworn to love, honour, and protect her, or her +despised and neglected cousin?” + +The agony of Castleton, as the truth broke upon him, was too intense +for utterance, and prevented interruption; George, therefore, +proceeded half raving, “But for that hideous breaker which forced +us asunder, she might still have been saved. I stretched forth my +hand to renew my protecting hold, and this met my gripe, and snapped +within it,” putting his hand into his breast, and producing the gold +chain and little watch before referred to;--“your first fatal gift;” +and with that recollection, he raised it in his hand furiously, as +if preparing to dash it to the ground; but checking himself, he +added, “No; it was her last thought, the last request she made!” and, +kissing it solemnly, he placed it on the table before Castleton. +“Once more I felt that I had her safe. In vain the breakers a second +time strove to separate us; or, perhaps they only roared in mockery +at my reviving hopes. I rushed through the surf, as I thought in +triumph;--she was already dead!” + +The mournful procession now arrived, bearing in a litter the lifeless +form of Lucy. There was on her no trace of death, beyond the mere +absence of life. Placid, as still in sleep, she lay without as yet +the paleness of a corpse; no disorder in her appearance, except the +streaming locks of her long fair hair, which, darkened and clotted +with moisture, hung in tangled masses over her features. There was +no symptom of a struggle on her part; but it seemed rather as if, +trusting, under Providence, to the efforts of him who would have +saved her if he could, she yielded her spirit to the issue; those +lips, through which might never more pass the slightest breath to +stir a feather, or dull a mirror, were calmly closed, not forcibly +compressed: the expression of her whole countenance was perfect +repose. + +As they, who had brought her into the presence of her husband, +deposited their burthen, one arm dropped from her side, and hung +stiffly down to the ground. Castleton earnestly regarded it: there +was the hand on which he had placed the wedding-ring; and, as he +pressed it between his, already cold and clammy as it was, the idea +that first roused him from his stupor into which the sudden shock had +plunged him was, that she might yet be saved; such things had been +done before. + +With wonderful precision he gave the requisite orders for attempting +to restore animation. George, who had for some time remained silent, +on hearing this, cried out with a bitter smile, “As if I would have +left her for a moment, had I not too surely known that there was no +longer such a chance.” + +He was right: after many hours’ useless endeavours, all were obliged +to own that their efforts were vain. + +George had, in the mean time, been in the first paroxysms of a brain +fever; through all the stages of which Castleton attended him with +the affectionate care of a brother; and when he was pronounced out +of danger, prepared to follow the corpse of poor Lucy to Somersby, +where she was to be interred in the family vault. As the orders which +Castleton had in his first despair given, that every possible honour +should be paid to her remains, were to be acted on by interested +parties, they had been too extravagantly fulfilled; and though, in +the stupor of grief, the chief mourner was as unconscious of any of +the surrounding splendours, as the corpse in whose honour they were +collected, yet she, to whom in life pomp had been her only bane, +was borne unconsciously along with princely and almost unparalleled +pageantry. + +Castleton’s first care, upon somewhat recovering his composure, was +to exert all his influence to advance George in his profession. +In his wishes to serve the farmer and his sister, though equally +sincere, he was not equally successful. Nothing could persuade them +to leave Bankside, where they remained together, still mourning their +bereavement. + +As to Castleton himself, I have too much respect for the intensity +of his present grief, aggravated in his case by bitter feelings +of self-reproach, to anticipate the date when that elasticity of +spirit, which is the never-failing attribute of the human mind, +shall have enabled him to struggle with his present depression, and +imparting its buoyancy, as it will do whenever the heart’s core has +not been completely crushed, shall, with the assistance of time, have +triumphed over mortal sorrow. + + + THE END. + + + + + LONDON: + IBOTSON AND PALMER, PRINTERS, SAVOY STREET, STRAND. + + + + +Transcriber’s Note: + +Words may have multiple spelling variations or inconsistent +hyphenation in the text. These were left unchanged, as were jargon, +dialect, obsolete and alternative spellings. Ten misspelled words +were corrected. The word ‘to’ was added to “... sit next [to] Lady +...” + +Words and phrases in italics are surrounded by underscores, +_like this_. Obvious printing errors, such as backwards, upside +down, reversed, or partially printed letters and punctuation, +were corrected. Final stops missing at the end of sentences and +abbreviations were added. Duplicate words at line endings were +removed. + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78690 *** |