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+ JACK BRAG. | Project Gutenberg
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+<body>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78686 ***</div>
+
+
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</span></p>
+
+<div class="chapter">
+<h1>
+JACK BRAG.
+</h1>
+
+
+<p class="big center">VOL. I.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</span></p>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+
+<p class="small">
+ LONDON:<br>
+ PRINTED BY SAMUEL BENTLEY,<br>
+ Dorset Street, Fleet Street.
+</p>
+</div>
+<div class="chapter">
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span></p>
+
+
+<p class="bigger center">JACK BRAG.</p>
+
+<p class="small space-above">BY THE AUTHOR OF</p>
+
+<p class="small">“SAYINGS AND DOINGS,”—“MAXWELL,” &amp;c.</p>
+
+<p class="center space-above">IN THREE VOLUMES.</p>
+
+<p class="center">VOL. I.</p>
+
+<p class="big space-above center">LONDON:</p>
+
+<p class="big center">RICHARD BENTLEY,</p>
+
+<p class="small">NEW BURLINGTON STREET.</p>
+
+<p class="center">1837.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_4"></a><a id="Page_5"></a>[Pg 5]</span></p>
+
+
+ <p class="bigger center">
+ JACK BRAG.
+ </p>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_I">
+ CHAPTER I.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>“My dear Johnny,” said the respectable widow
+Brag to her son, “what is the good of your
+going on in this way? Here, instead of minding
+the business, you are day after day galloping
+and gallivanting, steeple-chasing, fox-hunting,
+lord-hunting, a wasting your time and
+your substance, the shop going to old Nick, and
+<em>you</em> getting dipped instead of your candles.”</p>
+
+<p>“Mother,” said Jack, “don’t talk so foolishly!
+You are of the old school,—excellent
+in your way, but a long way behindhand: the
+business is safe enough. You cannot suppose,
+with the education I have had, I can meddle
+with moulds, or look after sixes, tens, fours to
+the pound, or farthing rushlights;—no, thanks
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span>to my enlightenment, I flatter myself I soar
+a little higher than that.”</p>
+
+<p>“No nonsense, Johnny!” said Mrs. Brag.
+“All you have now, and all you have spent
+since your poor father’s death, was gained by
+your father’s enlightenment of his customers:
+and how do you suppose I can carry on the trade
+if you will not now and then attend to it?”</p>
+
+<p>“Take my advice, my dear mother,” said
+Jack, “and marry. I’m old enough now not
+to care a fig for a father-in-law;—marriage
+is the plan, as I say to my friend Lord Tom—straight
+up, right down, and no mistake.
+Get a sensible, stir-about husband, who does
+not mind grubbing, and hasn’t a nose——”</p>
+
+<p>“Hasn’t a nose?” interrupted Mrs. Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t mean literally,” said Jack, “but
+sportingly;—does not mind the particular scent
+of tallow—you understand. Let him into the
+tricks of the trade: you will still be queen-bee
+of the hive,—make <em>him</em> look after the drones
+while you watch the wax.”</p>
+
+<p>“And while <em>you</em>, Johnny, lap up the honey,”
+said the queen-bee.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Do what you like,” said her son, “only
+marry—‘marry come up,’ as somebody says
+in a play.”</p>
+
+<p>“But, John,” said Mrs. Brag, “I have no
+desire to change my condition.”</p>
+
+<p>“Nor I that you should,” said Jack; “but
+I wish you would change your name. As long
+as ‘Brag, wax and tallow-chandler,’ sticks up
+on the front of the house, with three dozen and
+four dangling dips swinging along the shop-front,
+like so many malefactors expiating their
+crimes, I live in a perpetual fever lest my
+numerous friends should inquire whether I
+am one of the firm or the family.”</p>
+
+<p>“Johnny,” said Mrs. Brag, “you are a silly
+fellow. What is there to be ashamed of in
+honest industry? If all the fine folks whom
+you go a-hunting with, and all the rest of it,
+like you, and are really glad to see you, it is
+for yourself alone: and if they, who must
+know by your name and nature that you can
+never be one of themselves, care a button for
+you, your trade, so as you do not carry it
+about with you, will do you no harm. What
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span>difference is it to them how you get your
+thorough-bred horses, your smart scarlet coat,
+neat tops, and white cords, so as you have them?—they
+won’t give you any new ones when they
+are gone.”</p>
+
+<p>“It is all very well talking,” said Johnny,
+“but I never should show my face amongst
+them if I once thought they guessed at my
+real trade. I live in a regular worry as it is.
+If ever a fellow asks me if I was at Melton last
+year, that moment I think of the shop—‘pretty
+mould of a horse’ tingles in my ears—‘sweet
+dip of the country’ sets me doubting; and,
+only last week, a proposal to go ‘cross country
+and meet Lord Hurricane’s harriers at
+Hampton Wick nearly extinguished me.”</p>
+
+<p>“And what now, Johnny,” said Mrs. Brag,
+“do you think these lords take you for, if not
+for a tallow-chandler?”</p>
+
+<p>“An independent gentleman,” said Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“That is to say,” replied his mother, “a
+gentleman who has nothing to depend upon.”</p>
+
+<p>“They look upon me as an agreeable rattle,”
+said John.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span></p>
+
+<p>“One that has often been in the watchman’s
+hands too,” said the old lady.</p>
+
+<p>“I talk big and ride small,” said Jack,
+“I am always up with the hounds—never
+flinch at anything,—am the pride of the field
+wherever I go,—and in steeple-chases of infinite
+value.”</p>
+
+<p>“And very little weight, my dear Johnny,”
+interrupted his mother.</p>
+
+<p>“One of my dearest friends,” continued
+Brag, “Lord Tom Towzle, a deuce of a fellow
+amongst the females, is going to put me
+up as a candidate at the Travellers.”</p>
+
+<p>“What, riders for respectable houses?” said
+Mrs. Brag: “and a very proper club too.”</p>
+
+<p>“Respectable houses!” said Jack. “Poh!
+not a bit of it! What! bagmen in buggies
+with boxes of buttons in the boots? No, no!
+the Travellers—<i lang="fr">par excellence</i>.”</p>
+
+<p>“Par what?” said Mrs. Brag. “What, d’ye
+mean the fine Club-house in Pall Mall which
+you showed me the out side of, last King’s birth
+night?”</p>
+
+<p>“The same,” said Brag. “Now, if I had
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span>stuck to the naked, as Lord Tom says—told
+the plain unvarnished—I never could have qualified.
+Lord Tom asked me if I should like to
+belong to the Travellers;—in course I said
+yes—straight up, right down, and no mistake.
+Well, then he asks me if I could qualify;—so
+not quite understanding him, he says, ‘Have
+you ever been in Greece?’—‘Yes,’ said I:—I
+<em>might</em> have added ‘up to the elbows often;’
+didn’t though. Had him dead. Down he whips
+my name, and calls in Sir Somebody Something
+out of the street to second me.”</p>
+
+<p>“If you should get in there Johnny,” said
+Mrs. Brag, “do get ’em to give up gas and
+take to oil on illumination nights. But what
+I think is, somebody is sure to find you out,
+Johnny.”</p>
+
+<p>“Time enough,” said Jack. “I’m going it
+now smooth and soft across the country, increasing
+my acquaintance; falling into the society
+of elegant females—women of fashion, with
+beautiful faces and liberal hearts;—introduced
+to three last week—proud as peacocks to everybody
+else, delighted with <em>me</em>;—met them at
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span>Ascot—cold collation in the carriage—champaign
+iced from London;—got on capital—never
+was so happy in my life—hottest weather
+I ever felt; spirits mounted—I was the delight
+of the party—told them half a dozen stories of
+myself, and made them laugh like cockatoos,
+but I was bundled all of a heap by the Marquis
+of Middlesdale, who had been at luncheon
+with the King, who, in passing the barouche,
+gave me a smack on the back you might have
+heard to Egham, and cried out, ‘Jack, this is
+a melting day, isn’t it?’”</p>
+
+<p>“He meant it, Johnny, depend upon it,” said
+Mrs. Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“I’ve no doubt he did,” said Brag, “for it
+was as hot as ever I felt it——”</p>
+
+<p>“—In the back shop,” interrupted his
+mother. “But pray, Johnny, where do these
+people think you live?”</p>
+
+<p>“At a great house in Grosvenor-street,”
+said Jack, “next door to What-d’ye-call-’em’s
+Hotel: my name is on the door, and my address
+on my card.”</p>
+
+<p>“But you don’t live there,” said Mrs. Brag.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Not I,” replied the son: “I only rent
+the door.”</p>
+
+<p>“How d’ye mean?” said his mother.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, I went to the man,” said Brag,
+“who keeps the house. ‘Now, sir,’ said I, ‘I
+want to rent four square inches of your panels’.
+He was puzzled for the moment; but I
+was down upon him in no time, and no mistake.—Out
+I pulls from my pocket a brass
+plate of those precise dimensions, whereon is
+engraven ‘Mr. Brag.’—‘What will you take per
+annum,’ said I, ‘to let this be screwed on to
+your door, and let your servant take in my cards
+and letters?’ Startled him a little at first: however,
+he entered himself for the plate, acceded
+to my proposition,—and so for the trifling consideration
+of four guineas per annum, and a tip
+to the slavey, I get the credit of five windows
+in front, three stories high, in one of the best
+streets in London.”</p>
+
+<p>“But do none of your friends ever expect to
+be let in?” said Mrs. Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said Brag, “for a good thing now
+and then,—and so they are, pretty often. Long
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span>head, mother—have it here”—tapping his forehead
+with his fore finger—“look simple with
+my fresh colour and curly hair, but as deep as
+Garrick—cannot write your X’s, Z’s with me,—else,
+in course, they might expect admission.
+‘Not at home,’ is always the answer. ‘Out
+of town?’ is the next question;—‘Yes,’ is
+the next answer.—‘Where?’ comes next.—‘Down
+at his little place in Surrey.’ That
+finishes it. They lodge their pasteboard and
+away they go.”</p>
+
+<p>“Little place in Surrey!” said Mrs. Brag;—“why,
+what d’ye mean?—have you a country-house
+too?”</p>
+
+<p>“Country-house!” said Brag. “Lord bless
+your dear heart, not I! Nothing but my old
+lodging, on the second floor, No. 37, at the
+carpenter’s, corner of Caterpillar-row, Kennington.”</p>
+
+<p>“And <em>that</em> you call your little place in
+Surrey, do you?” said Mrs. Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“Yes, mother, and no fib neither,” said
+Brag. “It is almost the littlest place I ever
+saw in my life; and as for Caterpillar-row, if
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span>it isn’t in Surrey I know nothing of going ’cross
+a country.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah, Johnny, Johnny,” said his respected
+parent with a mingled look of sorrow and admiration,
+“you never will mend till it is too
+late!”</p>
+
+<p>“Mother,” said Jack, “now you say that, I
+think I shall be too late for Lord Tom Towzle.
+We are going off for Wigglesford to mark out
+a line. All ready for a run: we have got no
+mercy in us,—none of your bowling-green,
+daisy-cutting work for us—no, we’ll try to
+pick out rasping fences, bottomless brooks, and
+ditches as wide as rivers;—a steeple-chase
+without killing a horse or two, cracking a collar-bone,
+slipping a shoulder, or pitching an
+out-and-outer on the top of his conk, is no fun
+in the world.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah! well, well,” said Mrs. Brag, “I wish
+you would give a little time to the books and
+the business: some day you’ll repent this.”</p>
+
+<p>“Not I, mother,” said Jack; “I can pull
+up any day and marry. I never yet saw the
+woman I could not win—they are all ready to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span>eat me up: in course, as the book says, I
+am the more wary—hang back a bit. Don’t
+you see, as I get on in the world, I get up;
+and if I can marry a Lady Sally or a Lady
+Susan—eh! won’t that be nice!—’specially if
+there happens to be an odd thirty or forty thousand
+pounds tacked to the title.”</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t flatter yourself Johnny,” replied
+Mrs. Brag, shaking her head: “<em>that</em> scheme
+will never answer.”</p>
+
+<p>“You’ll see,” said Jack;—“I say nothing,
+but you’ll see. If I were to sit down and
+write an account of my adventures with the
+females, I should be run after like a sight.
+The females of fashion that I meet at the races
+call me ‘dear Johnny’ as it is.”</p>
+
+<p>“I wonder you are not afraid of seeing the
+ghost of your poor father,” said the widow.</p>
+
+<p>“What! the Governor?” cried Jack; “never
+mind ghosts nor Governors, here is my Leporello.
+So I’m off. Good-b’ye, dear mother!—you’ll
+see me soon again,—I shall be back by
+Saturday, and so keep snug Sunday.”</p>
+
+<p>“Where? at your town-house in Grosvenor-street,”
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span>said the old lady, “or your little
+place in Surrey?”</p>
+
+<p>“Neither, I take it,” said Jack, looking as
+wise as a very foolish person could. “I devote
+Sunday afternoon to a very select society—eh!—females
+of fashion, delightful creatures, and
+all that. So adieu!”</p>
+
+<p>Kissing the matron’s cheek, away went our
+hero in order to revel in all the luxuries of
+sport, and in the society which, he admitted,
+kept him in a fever while he was in it: not
+that the true circle of his aristocratic acquaintance
+was particularly large, however
+much he nominally increased it by dubbing
+every man his friend with whom he had happened
+to hunt in the same field or dine in a
+public company of three hundred and fifty;
+and every well-dressed woman a lady of fashion
+whom he happened to see with the tigers in
+whose set he mingled.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Brag, who felt extremely anxious about
+her son and herself, saw that the business was
+rapidly “burning down.” The introduction
+of oil had superseded wax; and since that, the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span>adoption of gas had superseded oil. No efforts
+were made to improve the concern, and all she
+heard, was of considerable drafts from the account
+at the banker’s, and very small payments
+into it; and Mrs. Brag, a comely, hearty-looking
+body of her time of life, began to ponder
+the words which her dutiful son had with little
+apparent earnestness let drop, as to changing
+her condition, with a view to increase the reputation
+of the house and extend its sphere of action,
+while the name at sight of which her son
+trembled, might be withdrawn. She did not
+clearly see her way in this proceeding: nor had
+she either fixed her affections upon any particular
+object, nor was she conscious that she
+had attracted the regards of any suitable partner.
+However, the notion was entertained—the
+idea had been started; and how the exemplary
+matron set her means to work, in order to effect
+the grand object, we may, if we live long
+enough, yet discover.</p>
+
+<p>The reader perhaps, in the few pages which
+he has yet either been doomed to, or condescended
+to read, has already discovered what sort of
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span>man Mr. John Brag is, or was. It seemed best
+to give a short domestic scene in the candle-manufactory
+by way of prelude to the genteel
+comedy in which the gay deceiver is destined
+to perform; and it will be only necessary to
+keep in mind the sage yet ineffective lesson of
+the dear old body to whom her affectionate son
+recommended matrimony, in order duly to appreciate
+the performance of her “pretty boy,”
+who, spite of his colour and his curls, was
+verging upon what may be called the “shady
+side” of thirty.</p>
+
+<p>Old Mrs. Brag had, as Miss Scropps, married
+at seventeen; and although, as far as my own
+experience goes, I admit I never saw such a
+thing, she was said to be a lady of nearly fifty-five
+years of age, somewhere about the period
+at which this glimpse at the history of her yet
+unrecorded family begins.</p>
+
+<p>It may be supposed that I should apologise
+for bringing the eyes, or perhaps the noses, of
+my readers in contact with all the arcana of Mr.
+John’s shop; but I have a reason for doing so.
+I propose not merely to show by illustration how
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span>very ridiculous a pretender must always be, but
+to exhibit a striking instance of the retributive
+justice which seems somehow to keep the
+world in an equipoise, by exhibiting the wonderful
+utility of which the meanest and stupidest
+animal extant may prove; as <i lang="fr">vide</i> (to quote
+the words of James the First, about Dæmonology)
+the fable of the Lion, the Mouse, and
+the Meshes.</p>
+
+<p>Soar we then for a moment from the gloom
+of the tallow-chandler to a more charming region,
+and to people of a different mould,—and
+yet who, as the reader will see, may in the
+course of events become connected, and intimately
+too, with our sprightly gentleman in
+the scarlet jacket and white cords. Let us,
+therefore, betake ourselves to the <i lang="fr">boudoir</i> of one
+of the most charming young widows in England,
+where she is sitting <i lang="fr">tête-à-tête</i> with her
+unmarried sister, talking over two absent gentlemen,
+whose tempers and dispositions are the
+immediate subject of their conversation.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Dallington, the elder of the two ladies
+so engaged, had been married at nineteen,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span>merely to oblige her father, (who died six months
+afterwards,) to a gentleman of the name which
+she still bore; who, to all the other merits
+which distinguished his character, emulated
+in a high degree the fox-hunting propensities
+of the tallow-man in the white cords of whom
+we have just spoken. He was, however, rich,
+and a gentleman, and had a right to make as
+great a fool of himself as he pleased,—and so he
+did: and the foolery began in his leaving
+a beautiful wife, with a pair of eyes as black
+as sloes and as bright as diamonds, alone and
+moping, while he was amusing himself by following
+his dogs, which dogs were following
+something certainly not sweeter than themselves
+across the country.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Dallington, who rode about nine stone
+four, one fine morning, when the scent lay
+“uncommon strong,” the dogs in full cry,
+the field in a state of the highest excitement,
+the fox going away right on-end across a heavy
+country, which would probably break the hearts
+of some of the horses and the necks of some of
+the riders, met with a slight accident, which in
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span>fox-hunting goes for very little, but which in its
+proverbial or rather convivial parallel, matrimony,
+goes for something more. In switching a rasper,
+the exemplary and high-spirited gentleman
+missed his tip and pitched right upon his head
+in the middle of a ditch, where he remained
+exactly long enough to make the lovely wife he
+had left at home a very delightful widow.</p>
+
+<p>Dallington, or at least what had been Dallington
+in the early part of the day, was put upon
+a hurdle and taken to a farmhouse; whence
+the melancholy intelligence was conveyed to
+his lady, who, with all the respect she felt for
+her late father’s judgment in selecting him for
+her partner for life, considered the event which
+had just taken place as philosophically as any
+woman of strong feelings and a tender disposition
+might be supposed to endure any sudden
+shock which results from the death of a fellow-creature.</p>
+
+<p>True, most true it is, she never had felt that
+sort of love for the husband forced upon her, as
+a “fine match,” which a woman ought to feel
+for the being who is destined (if he be fortunate
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span>enough) to share her hopes, her wishes,
+and her happiness. Mrs. Dallington was a
+creature all intellect, all vivacity, all fire; full
+of arch playfulness and gaiety of heart, and as
+completely the reverse of her quiet, timid, and
+sensitive sister, as light of darkness, fire of
+water, or any other two unmeetable opposites.</p>
+
+<p>There are many adages connected with love
+and matrimony which it must be admitted are,
+however forcible in themselves, extremely contradictory
+of each other. But, in the course of
+considerable experience in such matters, I am
+apt to imagine that the real truth is—supposing
+always exceptions to general rules—that
+women are most apt to prefer men the
+least like themselves; and men, <i lang="la">vice versâ</i>. It
+is the pride of a little man to have a large wife;
+it is the taste of a tall man to possess a short
+one: a fair woman admires a dark Lothario;
+while a bright-eyed brunette delights in blazing
+away upon a fair Romeo. A learned man eschews
+a blue partner; he relaxes into ease in the
+company of his ordinarily-educated better-half,
+and reposes from his graver studies in the agreeable
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span>common-places of an intelligent but not
+abstruse associate; while the learned lady prefers
+the plodding spouse, and never desires that
+he should meddle with her arts and sciences,
+but merely wishes him to exert his energies in
+the comfortable arrangement of their establishment,
+and the acquirement of the supplies
+necessary to set off her own attractions in their
+most alluring form before the visitors whom
+she chooses to invite.</p>
+
+<p>The assimilation of tempers and dispositions
+by which happiness grows between married
+couples is, in fact, a habit most amiable and
+advantageous: the handwritings of men and
+their wives become like each other in the course
+of time. But whether the love of contraries in
+the abstract, be or be not so general as some
+observers would have it to be, certain it is
+that in the particular individual case before us
+it did exist.</p>
+
+<p>Sir Charles Lydiard had been, just about
+the period at which the reader is introduced
+to him, some two years paying his addresses
+to the vivacious widow Dallington. He was
+a man of high principle, rigid honour, polished
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span>manners, and most amiable disposition; but
+he was cold, reserved, and even suspicious of
+the object of his affections. His suspicions, or
+perhaps they might be more justly called
+doubts, arose not from the slightest want of
+confidence in the candour or sincerity of the
+lady, but in a want of confidence in himself.
+He might fairly have said to his heroine with
+Steele’s hero:—</p>
+
+<div class="poetry-container">
+ <div class="poetry">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent0">——“Of you I am not jealous,—</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">’Tis my own indesert that gives me fears:</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">And tenderness forms dangers where they’re not.</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">I doubt and envy all things that approach thee.”</div>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+</div>
+
+<p>There he was, the constant, faithful lover, never
+away from the house, sitting and sighing “like
+furnace,” listening to the gaieties of Mrs. Dallington’s
+conversation, a very spectre of despair,
+not ill described by the English Aristophanes
+in the person of one Harry Hectic,
+with a bunch of jonquils in his button-hole,
+looking dead and dressed, like the waxwork in
+Westminster Abbey. There was no animating
+him, no rousing him into a proposal; his attachment
+had become habitual, and day after
+day the affair went on without “progressing,”
+as the Americans have it, one inch. And yet
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span>the widow was devoted to Sir Charles. It must
+be admitted that she every morning expected
+<em>the</em> question; but every evening that expectation
+was blighted, and the worthy baronet returned
+from his placid state of negative happiness
+to his solitary home, to lie awake for hours
+balancing the chances of matrimony, and
+endeavouring to make up his mind to the deciding
+inquiry which, if the real truth were
+told, he lingeringly delayed, apprehensive that
+it might meet with a negative certain not only
+to kill the hopes which sometimes outweighed
+his doubts, but to put an end to his acquaintance
+with the charming widow altogether.</p>
+
+<p>While Sir Charles Lydiard remained thus
+drooping in the bright sunshine of Mrs. Dallington’s
+eyes, her timid sister Blanche was
+undergoing a siege of a very different nature.
+Far from contenting himself, to use a military
+phrase, with sitting down before the
+place, and establishing a corps of observation
+merely to watch the enemy, Frank Rushton,
+who was more madly in love than ever dandy had
+been found to be for many years, had for the
+last three months,—the whole period, in fact, of
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span>his acquaintance with her,—been assiduously
+and incessantly carrying on an attack upon the
+heart of his adorable Dulcinea; and, as it appeared,
+with as little chance of making an impression
+as her sister had of exciting Sir Charles
+to an offer. In fact, the four players at this
+love-game were equally divided into the fiery
+and frosty; but, which in the sequel made all the
+sport, as Mr. Brag would have called it, the
+partners were so curiously matched, and the
+icicles and sunbeams so regularly and heraldically
+counter-changed, that the lovers and their
+mistresses were the exact opposites of each other.
+It was extremely amusing to hear the discussions
+in which Sir Charles and his friend Rushton
+were in the habit of indulging.</p>
+
+<p>“My dear Frank,” said Sir Charles, “your
+affection for Blanche is madness,—the way in
+which you go on, sets me in a fever: and as
+for the poor young creature herself, she is absolutely
+harassed out of her wits.”</p>
+
+<p>“So <em>you</em> think, Sir Charles,” replied Frank;
+“but it strikes <em>me</em> that her sister would
+not be less pleased with your society if you
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span>were to follow my example. Why there you
+sit, moping and melancholy, as if you were on
+the edge of your own grave, instead of being
+on the verge of all earthly happiness: you look
+and languish, sigh and say nothing, and, like
+the Cardinal, ‘die, and make no sign.’”</p>
+
+<p>“It may be so,” said the baronet,—“I suppose
+it <em>is</em> so; but I cannot,—struggle as I may with
+my feelings,—I cannot overcome the doubts
+which seem to me to cloud the prospect of the
+felicity of which you talk so easily.”</p>
+
+<p>“Doubts! my dear friend,” said Rushton;
+“what doubts can you have? Your doubts are,
+in fact, jealousies,—and how needless! Mrs.
+Dallington has been a wife,—and never was a
+more exemplary wife in the world.”</p>
+
+<p>“Her trial was short,” said Sir Charles;
+“nor should I call it a fair one,—her marriage
+was not one of love.”</p>
+
+<p>“Then so much the greater her credit for the
+conduct she observed,” said Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“The struggle did not last long,” replied
+Sir Charles: “her husband was killed within
+eight months of their marriage.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span></p>
+
+<p>“She bore her loss like a Christian,” said
+Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” sighed the baronet; “it is wonderful
+to behold the pious resignation of ladies in her
+position.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” said Rushton, “if your apprehensions
+overcome your affection, and your doubts
+transcend your hopes, break off the acquaintance
+at once,—take your hat and go—”</p>
+
+<p>“—And be neither missed nor inquired after,
+in all probability,” said Lydiard.</p>
+
+<p>“There you wrong your fair friend,” said
+Rushton. “She values you, esteems you, and
+with a very little trouble on <em>your</em> part would
+love you. Your flame is so gentle, that it
+scarcely warms; and, like the fire in the grate
+there, if she did not occasionally stir it with
+good nature and kind looks, my belief is, it
+would go out entirely.”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear Rushton,” said Sir Charles, “you
+entirely misunderstand my character, and the
+character of my affection for our charming
+friend: my doubts are the ‘fruits of love.’”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span></p>
+
+<p>“A most disagreeable harvest, Lydiard,”
+replied Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“True,” said Sir Charles, “but I cannot
+conquer them. You blame my caution and
+coldness; but when I see you devoting yourself,
+hand over head, if I may so say, to the
+mild, quiet, timid, blushing creature, Blanche,
+I cannot, since I had the honour of introducing
+you to the family, but feel anxious on your account.
+I don’t believe one word of all those professions
+of meekness, and mildness, and modesty
+of which that young lady is so profusely liberal.
+I have seen her exchange looks with her sister,—while
+you, blinded by your passion, have seen
+nothing—which convince me that you would
+do well to scrutinise and consider before you
+plunge into the stormy ocean of matrimony.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Rushton, “Blanche is something
+like Moore’s beautiful Nora Creena:</p>
+
+<div class="poetry-container">
+ <div class="poetry">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent0">‘Few her looks, but every one</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">Like unexpected light surprizes.’”</div>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+</div>
+
+<p>“Egad!” said Lydiard, “the light I saw was
+both surprising and unexpected. I have some
+little experience in family telegraphs, but the
+signal she threw out was one not altogether
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span>complimentary to <em>you</em>, for she seemed to me to
+be laughing at you.”</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t be too sure of that, Charles,” said
+Rushton. “I too have seen those telegraphic
+symptoms; and my opinion is, that if <em>you</em> were
+to adopt <em>my</em> style of proceeding, you would find
+the widow much less attentive to her sister’s
+evolutions. But no;—you have fallen into a
+custom of going there day after day; you feel
+at your ease, you enjoy the society and conversation
+of a delightful person; and because
+you have nothing to excite you to action, so
+the affair goes on—not even a dash of jealousy
+to create a fermentation in your cup of
+nectar.”</p>
+
+<p>“There you mistake,” said Lydiard. “I—I—certainly
+never have touched upon the subject—never
+opened my lips to a human being
+about it; but I am not quite so sure that it
+is not jealousy which keeps me backward and
+depresses me.”</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed!” said Rushton; “jealous! What
+of somebody who visits at the house?”</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said Sir Charles.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Do you mean Sir Baggs Waddilove?” said
+Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“Psha—no.”</p>
+
+<p>“Perhaps that Colonel Scramshaw?”</p>
+
+<p>“Not a bit of it.”</p>
+
+<p>“The Count?”</p>
+
+<p>“What, Swagandstraddle!—No.”</p>
+
+<p>“Lord Tom Towzle?”</p>
+
+<p>“You burn,” said Sir Charles, “as the children
+say to the blinded one;—not of him, Frank—what
+think you of his friend.”</p>
+
+<p>“What, that horrid, vulgar dog, Brag,”
+said Rushton, “his toady—his spaniel?”</p>
+
+<p>“Upon my honour, yes,” said Sir Charles.</p>
+
+<p>“The deuce you are!” said Rushton;
+“that’s very odd.”</p>
+
+<p>“It is,” said Lydiard. “I confess I am
+almost ashamed of being ruffled by such a
+fellow; but, somehow, Mrs. Dallington seems
+so much at her ease with him, notwithstanding
+his vulgarity, his glaring ignorance, and his unbounded
+impertinence, that, upon my honour,
+I cannot help thinking——you know women
+are very odd creatures, and I——”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p>
+
+<p>“You surprise me, Lydiard,” said Rushton,
+“but not disagreeably. I have thought,—only
+don’t mention it—that Blanche has a sort of,—eh—you
+understand me—a partiality for
+him—I don’t know how it is; she certainly
+looks at the monster, now and then.”</p>
+
+<p>“What,” interrupted Lydiard, “some more
+of her few unexpected lights, eh?”</p>
+
+<p>“I cannot understand it,” said Rushton:
+“I suppose he entertains them with his absurdities,
+and his nonsense, and even his vanity,
+and his vulgarity. But I think we may both be
+pretty secure, that neither of such women as
+your widow and my Blanche could entertain
+a serious thought of a fellow of whom nobody
+knows anything except as Lord Tom Towzle’s
+tiger, especially in a house into which Lord
+Tom himself finds it particularly difficult to
+get the <i lang="fr">entrée</i>.”</p>
+
+<p>“No,” said Lydiard, “one would not think
+there was much danger; and yet—yet you
+<em>will</em> allow it is very odd indeed that we should
+both have been struck with the same notion?”</p>
+
+<p>“So it is,” replied Rushton. “However, as
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span>far as <em>I</em> am concerned, I am determined
+to fathom the affair to the bottom. I love
+Blanche better than my life; but if I thought—”</p>
+
+<p>“Stop, stop, Rushton,” interrupted the
+worthy baronet. “What has gone with your
+stern reproof of my scepticism? Here are <em>you</em>
+who have been just rallying me upon my doubts
+with regard to the loveliest of her sex, now
+coming to fathom an affair to the bottom
+which implicates in your mind the sincerity
+and single-heartedness of one of the purest,
+gentlest Nora Creenas that ever walked with
+her eyes cast down upon the earth.”</p>
+
+<p>“Hang the fellow!” said Rushton; “it is too
+ridiculous! Besides, he is not often there. Yet,
+never mind—he may do good: the smallest
+wheel in a great piece of machinery has its
+work to perform to keep all the rest going.
+This stupid animal may serve to equalize our
+passions, and make us see clearer; he will cool
+<em>me</em> and warm <em>you</em>, and who knows but it may
+turn out all for the best?”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Lydiard, “the fact is pretty
+clear:—As we have not, even in this age of liberality,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span>arrived at so great a reform of
+the church as to establish the toleration
+of bigamy, he can marry but one of the
+ladies; and, as far as I am concerned, if my
+adorable widow has a taste which would lead
+her to admit the pretensions of that miserable
+little animal, I am quite sure it never could be
+diverted into a passion for me: and so, Mr.
+Rushton, if he conquer, he is perfectly welcome
+to the fruits of his triumph.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah, that’s it!” said Rushton: “there are
+prudence, philosophy, wisdom, and half a
+dozen other splendid qualities, combined! But
+as for <em>me</em>, if he were to be smiled upon in
+earnest by Blanche, it would be the last gleam
+of sunshine one of us should see: he never
+should live to enjoy the happiness of which he
+had deprived me!”</p>
+
+<p>“Now, Rushton,” said Sir Charles, “how
+unjust, how inconsiderate that is! If Blanche
+smile on him and not on you, it is a clear
+proof that she prefers him. Why make her
+miserable by killing the little man? You
+might as well shoot her poodle or wring the
+neck of her canary-bird.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span></p>
+
+<p>How much farther this dialogue which was
+hereabouts interrupted, might have been carried,
+it is not in my power to say; but sufficient
+has been developed to the reader to show that
+the incomparable Jack Brag, by dint of the
+equivocal introduction of his master Lord Tom
+Towzle, had obtained footing at least in one
+respectable and agreeable house. It is, as Sir
+Charles Lydiard says, a matter of impossibility
+to ascertain the particular qualities or circumstances
+by which women of station and talent, as
+well as their inferiors in rank and intellect, are
+captivated. Certain it is, that after once Mr.
+Brag had been admitted to Mrs. Dallington’s
+house, he was a visitor there as frequently as he
+could contrive to manage it; and, as we have
+seen, although his other avocations were numerous,
+he had contrived to unsettle the minds
+of two most respectable gentlemen of totally
+different characters and dispositions, both pursuing
+similar objects by different roads.</p>
+
+<p>We must now recur to Mr. Brag himself,
+and his career in other places, into which the
+bright eyes of the gay widow and her lovely
+sister cannot be expected to penetrate.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span></p>
+
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_II">
+ CHAPTER II.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>When Mr. John Brag left his respected
+mother, he hurried off to the rendezvous of his
+sporting friends, whence they proceeded in a
+body to mark out the line of country for the steeple-chase.
+In this operation he exhibited, as he
+fancied, all the tactics of the most experienced
+quartermaster-general. In endeavouring, however,
+to elucidate the difficulties of a leap which,
+he thought essential to the effect of the race, he
+came somewhat unexpectedly off his horse. A
+little dirt, and a bruise or two out of sight, of
+which he gave no evidence, were all the consequences
+of this performance; and having made
+every necessary arrangement for the exhibition
+of the following day, he hastened to a small
+public-house a little way removed from the
+high road, which rejoiced in the sign of the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span>“Duke of Marlborough,” in order to change his
+clothes and prepare himself for a flying visit to
+the shop, to which a promise made to his mother
+in the morning was carrying him in the afternoon.</p>
+
+<p>When some of Brag’s associates in the field
+questioned him as to his cause of hurry, he
+made his excuses in so confused a tone, that
+he left, as he meant to do, an impression upon
+the minds of his country cronies, that he was
+under an enslavement to the illustrious descendant
+of the hero of Blenheim and Malplaquet,
+rather than to the landlord of the house
+where the pictured warrior swang “high in
+air” before the door. However, it was all
+“straight up, right down, and no mistake;”
+and the pretender “cut ’cross the country”
+to his hostelry, at which had been deposited
+his portmanteau “down per coach,” which contained
+his clothes for the two coming days’ performances,—his
+pet scarlet coat and white cords
+by way of a show, and if necessary a pink silk
+jacket with yellow sleeves for the steeple-chase.</p>
+
+<p>When he arrived at the goal—the sign of the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span>“Duke of Marlborough,” he was surprised to
+find the only sitting-room of the “hotel” occupied.
+A stranger, who had been driven into
+the house for shelter from the “pitiless pelting”
+of a hail-storm, in which the admirable
+tallow-chandler had been drenched, was sitting
+before the fire—agreeable in any season in England,
+but particularly so in the equivocal weather
+of a British spring—reading the County
+Press of the preceding Saturday, redolent of
+tobacco, and stamped with the circular impressions
+of sundry pewter-pot bottoms which had
+reposed upon its columns.</p>
+
+<p>“I say, Stubbs,” said our hero, who was
+known to the landlord as ‘the most sportingest
+gentleman as ever come down to them parts,’
+“what’s this? I ordered my dinner this morning”—(his
+luncheon with the Duke of Marlborough,)—“and
+find the room engaged;—what’s
+this?”</p>
+
+<p>An attempt on the part of Stubbs to soothe
+the boiling rage of Brag, by sundry qualifying
+expressions of regret, and a few “I dare says,”
+and “The gentleman won’t be long,” and several
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span>such pacificatory observations, was happily
+seconded by the occupant of the parlour
+himself; who upon beholding the inflation
+of the little Cockney, whose vulgar red and
+white face was illuminated by the fire which
+raged within, rose from his seat and said,
+in the best possible humour, that he feared
+he was an intruder, but that he had been
+driven in by stress of weather; that he had
+ordered some luncheon, which he concluded was
+nearly ready; and that if the gentleman would
+permit him to do so, he should be happy
+to share the repast with him, which, as he
+seemed to be himself wet and cold, would perhaps
+not be disagreeable to him.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh,” said Brag, “I’m not the chap to
+quarrel about trifles: only, I certainly, when I
+sent my horses down here, did say I should come
+and dine here; and I have been here often before,
+and I never was served so till to-day.
+However, I’m much obliged by your civility,
+and haven’t the least objection to join you, each
+of us in course paying, share and share alike.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, as you please,” said the stranger, in
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span>whose eye there lurked a laughing smile, and
+who seemed satisfied, by the little he had seen
+of his new and important acquaintance, that he
+should find something like amusement in the
+cultivation of a temporary friendship with him.</p>
+
+<p>“I’ll just step up-stairs,” said Brag, “and
+cast my skin, as I call it; and by that time,
+Stubbs, the luncheon will be ready.”</p>
+
+<p>“In five minutes, sir,” said Stubbs.</p>
+
+<p>“I say,” said Brag as he went along the
+passage, “who is that chap in the parlour?”</p>
+
+<p>“I haven’t a notion, sir,” said the landlord.
+“He came here in the midst of that pelting hail-storm
+about half an hour ago, on a fine strong
+horse which is now in the stable, and which
+seems to have had a pretty sharpish run somehow;
+and he ordered a fire to be lighted and
+some chops to be got ready, and said he would
+stop an hour or two.”</p>
+
+<p>“No servant?” said Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“No.”</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t carry bags?” asked Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“No,” replied Stubbs.</p>
+
+<p>“Seems genteel,” said the tallow-chandler;
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span>“no chance of anything wrong?—plain drest
+man on a fine horse—eh, don’t you understand?
+straight up, right down—eh, no mistake. No
+chance of highwaymen now-a-days?”</p>
+
+<p>“Lor’, no, sir,” said Stubbs; “such a
+thought never entered my head. To be sure, he
+looked at your two hunters in the stable, and
+asked Jem who they belonged to.”</p>
+
+<p>“What did he say?” said Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“To one Squire Brag,” said Stubbs; “a
+gentleman from London.”</p>
+
+<p>“Right, quite right,” said Brag: “no occasion
+to tell everybody the truth. And he admired
+them, did he?”</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed he did,” said Stubbs.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, all right, no mistake,” said Brag,
+delighted to have unconsciously impressed
+upon the mind of his “promiscuous acquaintance”
+the character of his pretensions to consideration
+and his right of swagger. “I’ll
+just go and run my eye over <em>his</em> nag before I
+go into the parlour, and then we shall be on a
+footing, eh?”</p>
+
+<p>Stubbs bowed; and Brag proceeded to change
+his clothes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span></p>
+
+<p>While he was performing that operation, the
+ever-active landlord added another knife and
+fork to the table already prepared for his other
+visitor: of which opportunity the stranger
+availed himself to inquire who the curious little
+gentleman in the green jacket and white cords
+might be; and in answer to his question touching
+that important subject, he was accurately informed
+by mine host, as far as he knew;—that
+he was a gentleman of large fortune from the
+City, he believed, who was in the habit of hunting
+with all the hounds in the metropolitan
+counties: that he usually kept his horses
+there; that he was the owner of the two which
+the gentleman had so much admired; <span id="TN1">that
+he was a choice spirit</span>, and mixed in very
+high company; all of which information the
+strange gentleman seemed to receive with considerable
+satisfaction—probably, as Stubbs the
+landlord thought, because he should feel himself
+honoured and gratified by the countenance
+and society of so distinguished an individual
+as Brag, and because he inwardly rejoiced at
+having made a point of showing so much courtesy
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span>and attention on his first arrival to a gentleman
+of such respectability and importance.</p>
+
+<p>The stranger’s inquiries and the landlord’s
+elucidations had scarcely ended, before the volatile
+Cockney made his re-appearance.</p>
+
+<p>“Come, Stubbs,” cried he, rubbing his hands
+as he entered the little sanded parlour, “be
+alive, my fine fellow! up with the chops! no nonsense—sharp’s
+the word and quick’s the motion,
+eh?—straight up, right down, and no mistake.”</p>
+
+<p>“They will be ready in two minutes, sir,”
+said the landlord as he quitted the apartment.</p>
+
+<p>“That’s the way I manage ’em,” said Brag;
+“none of your crawlers for me. I dare say you
+have been waiting ever so long for your feed;
+they don’t mind strangers—everything is habit,
+sir,—used to <em>me</em>—know I won’t stand upon
+trifles. I pay ready money, and don’t stint—eh?
+that’s the way I keep ’em all alive.—Are
+you from town to-day?”</p>
+
+<p>“No,” said the stranger; “I am on my road
+across the country. I rode farther than I intended,
+and was caught in the last storm.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh,” said Brag, beginning to exercise what
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span>he considered his tact in ascertaining the calling
+of his companion; “you are not going straight
+along?”</p>
+
+<p>“No,” replied his new friend, “merely
+taking a canter.”</p>
+
+<p>“Blowing away the cobwebs, as my friend
+Lord Tom Towzle says,” said Brag, looking
+at himself in the miserable glass which surmounted
+the mantel-shelf, adjusting his shirt-collar,
+and combing out his curls, of which
+he was as vain as a peacock of his tail. “I
+never had harder work: pitched right over
+my little hack’s head, trying to show my
+friend Lord Wagly, the right-earnest way of
+taking a double fence. To be sure, it was too
+much for the poor little thing, and it served me
+right. I was spilt—up again in a minute—all,
+as quick as Queen Elizabeth. I say, that’s
+a fine horse of yours in the stable——Stir the
+fire—hem,—or lend me the poker——eh?—capital
+nag, I calculate, as the Yankees say?”</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said the stranger, “a fine serviceable
+animal: I ride pretty heavy, and require something
+strong to carry me. You have two clever
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span>animals in the boxes here; I assure you I
+had been admiring them very much before you
+arrived.”</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said Brag, “nice tits, I flatter myself:
+I never had two horses that suited me
+better. I have—let me see—eight—no, nine—yes,
+nine—much of a muchness; four in Leicestershire,
+two here, and the rest in London—nursing
+a bit, that’s my way. I say sport’s
+sport—never overwork kind animals—don’t
+break their hearts even if you break their
+backs. So I keep enough to do it easy: for, as
+I said to Towzle, what’s the use of plenty of
+money if you don’t spend it?—eh! The devil
+take this fellow! <em>his</em> chops are not ready,
+though ours are—he! Did you ever hear that
+before,—deuced good, eh?—old, I guess, and
+no mistake. I’ll just give him a reminder.”</p>
+
+<p>Saying which, Brag seized the bell-rope, and
+gave it so tremendous a jerk, that down it
+came, bringing with it a cloud of dust, just at
+the moment that the door opened, and presented
+to the view of the guests, Stubbs, with
+the chops, and Rachel his daughter at his heels,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span>bearing a dish of potatoes, and a plate, whereon
+were deposited two vine leaves of blue ware,
+filled, the one with gherkins green, the other
+with walnuts brown.</p>
+
+<p>Rachel was about seventeen, pretty and
+arch, with a pair of expressively lively black
+eyes. It was clear that Brag had seen them
+before, and that Rachel was not altogether
+insensible of their power; and while the assiduous
+Stubbs was regulating the plates and
+knives and forks at their proper angles on the
+table, the Nimrod of Cockaigne was slyly
+pressing the elbow—rather of the reddest—of
+the amiable Rachel, as she stretched one
+hand forward towards her unsuspecting parent,
+in the act of offering him the vegetables
+wherewith to deck the table. The stranger
+saw the dexterous manœuvre of his new companion,
+but appeared to be wholly unconscious
+of his insinuativeness.</p>
+
+<p>“That’s a pretty girl,” said Brag after the
+parent and child had left the room,—“sly as a
+pussy cat. Dear me! the things one <em>does</em> see in
+this world! No matter where one goes, it is all
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span>the same! One has only to look at a girl, or a
+woman older a deuced deal than that, down she
+comes; I don’t know how it is, or how you
+find it, but, by Job,” (as Brag always called
+Jove,) “it’s a difficult thing to keep clear of the
+female sex; I suppose it’s something in one’s
+manner—eh,—don’t you think so?—’pon my
+life I don’t know.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said the stranger, “I am not in
+the habit of generalizing upon such subjects:
+a woman worthy of being won is not so easily
+won.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh! ah!” said Brag; “you mean tip-toppers,
+blue-stockings, nobs, and all that kind of
+thing: I mean the sex taken what I call collectively.
+What do you drink, eh? Ale, by
+Job! Here, here, just put your head out of the
+door and call Stubbs; you are nearer than
+me: I wish I hadn’t broken the bell. Call
+him,—or stay;—no, I’ll speak to him,—have
+up <em>my</em> tap—eh,—don’t you see?”</p>
+
+<p>The volubility and vanity of the Cockney
+amused as well as surprised the stranger, who,
+upon Brag’s resuming his seat, endeavoured to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span>draw him back—which there was little difficulty
+in doing—to his old subject, by telling
+him one of the innumerable <i lang="fr">bons mots</i> of the
+celebrated Sophie Arnould, who, when a Brag
+of her day, in descanting largely upon his success
+with a certain demoiselle of the rank
+and standing of Rachel Stubbs, told her that
+the affair had made a great noise in the neighbourhood,
+asked whether it were not occasioned
+by the lady’s pattens. Brag did not see
+the application, and went on, as his acquaintance
+with his companion grew, and his familiarity
+ripened, to be extremely communicative,
+most especially upon his own successes in the
+way of “Don-Juanism.”</p>
+
+<p>The <i lang="la">sederunt</i> of the companions was considerably
+lengthened by a return of bad weather.
+The rain and hail again poured down in
+torrents; and Brag, who denounced wine in
+such a place, resolved upon keeping out the cold
+with some hot mixture. The stranger, who was
+also weather-bound, seemed not altogether disinclined
+to follow his companion’s example; and
+they drew their chairs towards the fire, in order
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span>to wait with patience for a brighter sky; which,
+as the spring had set in with its accustomed
+severity, they were not soon certain of seeing.</p>
+
+<p>“I am told,” said a lady of rank to the Persian
+Ambassador, who was in this country
+so many years since, that, for the sake of my
+female friends, I will not say how many,—“I
+am told, sir, that in <em>your</em> country they worship
+the sun.” “True, madam,” replied the Ambassador;
+“and so they would in <em>yours</em>, if they
+ever saw him.” The hope of catching a glimpse
+of him on the day of Brag’s adventure at the
+“Duke of Marlborough” was but faint and remote:
+the storm pattered against the casements
+of the humble apartment which he and his associate
+occupied, and Jack was resolved to show
+that his spirits, however mercurial, were not
+altogether dependant upon the weather.</p>
+
+<p>“Blessing, good temper,” said Brag,—“eh?—makes
+no difference to me—life is not long
+enough to be sorry; clouds or sunshine, on I
+go, smack, smooth ’cross the country, and no
+mistake.—As I was saying just now, if I
+were to write my life and adventures, what a
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span>book it would make! to be sure, one could not
+publish it;—compromise so many dear delicious
+creatures—eh?”</p>
+
+<p>“But do you find,” said the stranger, “this
+facility of conquest equally general in the
+higher classes, with whom, as you have already
+said, you mix?”</p>
+
+<p>“Equal,” exclaimed Brag, emptying at the
+same moment his first glass of Stubbs’s punch,—“the
+same everywhere. I grant you, the
+females of the aristocracy are more closely
+watched; the eyes of the world are more on
+them. But, dear me, when they are out of
+sight—when we are what I call tiled,—all snug
+and comfortable, and no mistake,—I think the
+tip-toppers are livelier than the mediums.”</p>
+
+<p>“And these females, as you call them,” said
+the stranger, “are they most easily led away by
+person or manner, or accomplishments?”</p>
+
+<p>“A little of all,” said Jack, running the
+dumpy fingers of one of his little fat hands
+through his curls, and pulling up his shirt-collar
+with the other as usual;—“manner
+is everything—that’s it, sir; genteel, but bordering
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span>upon the lively—eh, don’t you understand?
+Now there’s Lady Fanny Smartly, as
+nice a horse-woman as you’ll see in a summer’s
+day;—why, Lor—just see me lend her
+my arm to mount! Her brother looks with wonder—the
+groom retires with awe—and then
+she gives me a smile, as much as to say, ‘You
+are a sharp little fellow, Jack!’ Well, then in
+the evening, there I find her all gentle and
+languishing—you wouldn’t think she had
+ever seen a horse in her life;—and then she
+laughs,—and I look, and then she laughs
+again; and you can’t think how one gets
+on in that way—eh, and no mistake!”</p>
+
+<p>“Lady Fanny Smartly?” said the stranger;
+“I think I have occasionally seen her riding
+in London.”</p>
+
+<p>“Very likely,” said Jack; “but that’s not
+the way to know her. Now there’s Mrs.
+Dallington—a friend of mine, and her sister—they
+live close up by Grosvenor Square;—I go
+there almost every day; they are as opposite
+as light from dark,—one all sharp, you know—sort
+of daisy-cutting tit—smack smooth, and no
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span>mistake;—the other, Miss Blanche Englefield,
+all meek, modest, quiet; what you call retiring,
+soft, gentle.”</p>
+
+<p>“A melting beauty?” said the stranger.</p>
+
+<p>“No,” said Jack, colouring; “not melting;—a—not
+that sort of thing,—but—distant,
+and shy. Why, now with <em>me</em>, she is all
+free and easy. There I see a couple of men
+day after day dancing attendance upon these two
+women, and dying to marry them. In course I
+shouldn’t take any advantage of my friends,
+as I told Lord Tom—a crack crony of mine—Lord
+Tom Towzle. I never would—no,
+I scorn the action,—but it is hard to refrain.”</p>
+
+<p>“Lord Tom Towzle,” said the stranger,
+“is a son of the Duke of Ditchwater,—is he
+not?”</p>
+
+<p>“He is,” said Jack: “I see you know some
+of their names. Did you ever see Lord Tom?
+I always call him Tommy for shortness;—he is
+an excellent fellow in his way,—not over respectable
+in money matters—but an uncommon
+good un to go ’cross a country.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Have you seen much of his aunt, Lady
+Bloomville?” said the stranger.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, the old toad!” said Jack; “a regular
+scarecrow,—she is what people call a respectable
+body—eh! reads him lectures and all that—he
+can’t bear her;—we have a great deal of
+fun there sometimes—we go and what he calls
+roast her.”</p>
+
+<p>“I had always heard,” said the stranger,
+“that she was a remarkably respectable amiable
+person. I hope you never found <em>her</em> so complying
+as you seem to have found the rest of
+your fashionable friends.”</p>
+
+<p>“I tell you what,” said Brag, putting his
+finger to his nose—“if <em>you</em> knew what <em>I</em>
+know, you wouldn’t be surprised at anything.”</p>
+
+<p>“She has a brother, hasn’t she?” said the
+stranger.</p>
+
+<p>“What, Lady Bloomville?” asked Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” replied the stranger.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, yes, Lord Ilfracombe,” said Jack;
+“and a queer chap he is too.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Is he much at Lady Bloomville’s?” asked
+the stranger.</p>
+
+<p>“More than we like,” replied Brag; “he
+is what I call a dull dog,—good man in his
+way,—plain, and no show,—none of what I
+call gammon. I say, I must have another jorum
+of this stuff—put your head out and call,
+will you—eh! make yourself useful—nothing
+like sociability, and no mistake—eh!”</p>
+
+<p>The stranger obeyed, and called the waiter;
+Rachel appeared, and Jack ordered a replenishment
+of punch, in doing which, having previously
+expressed his admiration of the waitress,
+he suited the action to the word, and then
+resumed.</p>
+
+<p>“Old Ilfracombe is a queer one,” said he,
+“a bore,—won’t sit after dinner. Now, as I
+say to Lord Tom, that is a fault of the young
+ones;—no conversation,—no nothing now—up
+go the ladies, and then comes ‘Will anybody
+have any more wine, or shall we have coffee?’
+and up we go after them,—no opportunity for
+what somebody calls the feast of reason and the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span>flow of soul, or, as I read it, ‘flow of bowl,’—eh!”</p>
+
+<p>“So then,” said the stranger, “this
+Lord Ilfracombe is what may be called a
+wet blanket!—he doesn’t look like one of
+the Kill-joys.”</p>
+
+<p>“Do you think not?” said Jack. “I suppose
+you have only seen him by chance, at some
+public dinner, or somewhere where smiles are
+always ready. If you knew him as well as I
+and Lord Tom do, you would set him down
+for as great a bore as ever lived.”</p>
+
+<p>“And is Lord Tom, as you call him,” said
+the stranger, “in love with either of the ladies
+you have mentioned to me?”</p>
+
+<p>“Not a bit,” said Jack. “Tommy and I—or
+rather, I might say, I and Tommy,
+take a different course,—butterflies, bees,—eh!—don’t
+you see?—rove and sip—and no
+mistake. No, I think it would be an injustice
+in either of us to marry. But, there are
+two very respectable men dangling—you understand
+what I mean.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Perfectly,” said the stranger.</p>
+
+<p>“But,” said Brag, “it is painful to see it—eh!—Lord
+bless your heart—however—Oh!
+here is my second glass—put it down,
+Rachel,—here—come round—this way,—don’t
+be frightened, the gentleman won’t eat you.”</p>
+
+<p>Rachel did as she was bid, but it was quite
+clear by the expression of her pretty countenance
+as she left the room, that she did not
+think quite so much of <span id="TN2">Brag as Brag thought
+of himself</span>.</p>
+
+<p>“If you,” said Brag, “had opportunities
+as I have of seeing the best society,—what
+I call skimming the cream, you would be in
+the secret; but without seeing it, as I said
+before, there’s no believing it—eh!”</p>
+
+<p>“I am sure you are right,” said the stranger.
+“I think Lord Ilfracombe has a son,
+hasn’t he?”</p>
+
+<p>“To be sure he has,” said Brag, “Lord
+Dawlish,—and a nice chap he is too; he married
+a Miss Linton, the daughter of a country
+gentleman in my lord’s neighbourhood. I
+know all the facts from Lord Tommy. She is
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span>like a doll in a toy-shop window—waxy and
+winky-eyed—eh! You understand—money—the
+father sold the child to buy the title, and a
+pretty swop too. Lord bless you! they live
+like cat and dog. I can’t bear her—mawkish—eh!
+Don’t you take some more of this mixture?”</p>
+
+<p>“Not yet,” said the stranger. “And does
+Lord Dawlish mix much in your sports?”</p>
+
+<p>“Why now,” said Jack, “before you carry
+this on too far, I <em>do</em> think you ought to tell me
+why you ask. I don’t think it fair, living with
+these people as I do, what you call <span id="TN3">hand-in-glove</span>,
+and all that, to let out; you may, perhaps,
+have an interest in knowing particulars. I am
+sure you won’t be offended, but I take it that
+you are in the mercantile line, and what people
+in the city call travelling on your own bottom—you
+want to know where credit may and where
+it mayn’t be given—eh? I don’t think I ought
+to commit my friends, old cocky—eh! all right
+and no mistake—don’t you think so?”</p>
+
+<p>“Certainly,” said the stranger; “I didn’t
+know that Lord Dawlish <em>was</em> a friend of yours.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span></p>
+
+<p>“The whole clique,” said Brag, looking very
+cunning; “and I can tell you this—they <em>know</em>
+I am rich, eh!—all snug, smug, and no mistake.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” said the stranger, “I am much
+obliged for the mixture of confidence in <em>me</em>,
+and the consideration of <em>them</em>, which regulates
+your communications;—but I suppose old Ilfracombe
+himself is a steady goer?”</p>
+
+<p>“Umph!” said Jack, “pretty well—six o’
+one side and half-a-dozen of the other—much
+of a muchness—you understand, eh!—all outside—plating,
+as I call it.”</p>
+
+<p>Here the conversation was interrupted by
+the entrance of Stubbs, who announced that
+Mr. Brag’s groom had just arrived from London,
+on the top of the coach, which had set
+him down at the corner of the cross road.</p>
+
+<p>“Let him come in,” said Brag, with an air
+of the most exalted dignity.</p>
+
+<p>The lad made his appearance, dripping, like
+Niobe, all tears.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, what made you so late?” said Brag.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Couldn’t git down afore, sir,” said the
+lad.</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” said his master, “go get yourself
+something to eat, and see to the horses.”</p>
+
+<p>“I wanted to say a word about the horses,
+sir,—please,” said the lad.</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” said Brag, “you may say what
+you have to say; you are not afraid of that
+stranger, I suppose.”</p>
+
+<p>“No, sir,” said the boy, “I’m not afraid
+o’ anybody, but I didn’t know I was to say
+what I had to say, out.”</p>
+
+<p>“Say,” said Jack, waving his half-emptied
+tumbler over his head—“‘Say on,’ as the chap
+at the theātre says.”</p>
+
+<p>“Mr. Figgs,” said the boy, “wishes to know
+whether you want both them ’ere horses as is
+here any longer this week, or if one will do, as
+he has an opportunity of letting one or both on
+’em to gemmen as pays ready money; and if so
+be you keeps ’em both, you’ll be pleased to
+send up the stumpy by to-night’s post.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ha, ha, ha!” said Brag, his cheeks
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span>turning as white as chalk, his hair seeming
+to uncurl, and his whole countenance assuming
+the appearance of a detected pickpocket—“how
+good!—how deuced good, eh! Ha,
+ha,—what! my own horses!”</p>
+
+<p>“Not your own horses, sir,” said the boy,
+“they are <em>his</em> horses, you know, sir, and—”</p>
+
+<p>“Hold your tongue, sir,” said Brag; “I
+think I ought to know whose horses they are
+better than he;—get out,—go and look after
+the nags—before you get anything to eat—and
+I will come out to you presently.”</p>
+
+<p>Of all the curs unhung, there is none so
+awfully contemptible as a drivelling braggart.
+The wretched cockney seemed to quail before
+his associate, whom, as we know, he imagined to
+be either a rider to some respectable house in the
+button line, or a small dealer travelling, as he
+called it, “on his own bottom.” He watched
+the glance of the eye of this man, whom he
+had before despised and bullied, to see what impression
+the detection of his miserable assumptions
+had made upon him; but the stranger,
+who had his own business to attend to, and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span>who seemed fully occupied by his own thoughts,
+evinced no alteration either in look or manner
+when he heard his contemptible companion exposed
+by the stable-keeper’s menial. Why he
+was not much affected by this <i lang="fr">denouement</i>, we
+may perhaps shortly discover.</p>
+
+<p>“What fools servants are!” said Jack, when
+he <em>could</em> speak—stirring up a bit of lemon-peel
+from the bottom of his glass, and keeping his
+eyes steadily fixed upon the object and operation
+during the utterance of his remark.</p>
+
+<p>What the stranger thought of masters, was
+not to be collected from either his words or his
+looks.</p>
+
+<p>“Figgs is a fool too,” said Brag, when he
+had rallied; “I wonder what <em>he</em> means.”</p>
+
+<p>The stranger, who merely recollected the
+history of his companion’s stud, all elaborately
+detailed, did not by any means exert himself to
+elucidate the mysteries of the liveryman’s stables.
+He was perfectly satisfied with the affair
+as it stood, and there an end.</p>
+
+<p>“I believe,” said Brag, breaking what appeared
+a most uncomfortable silence, and which,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span>as pretenders invariably do, he fancied arose
+from a conviction in the other gentleman’s
+mind that he was a “humbug,”—“I believe
+that these fellows try to worry one into buying,
+by such tricks as these: however, I flatter
+myself I am pretty well known about London,
+and if I have any interest with the Master of
+the horse, not one of Figgs’s animals sets
+foot into the Royal stables,—there I <em>have</em> an
+influence.”</p>
+
+<p>The stranger merely looked, and finished
+his one glass of Stubbs’s particular, to Brag’s
+two; which one he had been persuaded to imbibe
+upon the very just principle of repelling
+external cold by internal warmth. It was
+clear that the cockney had been hit hard by
+the stupidity of his boy, as he called him—who,
+in fact, was not his; and odd enough to say,
+however pleased he might have been to escape
+anything like a cross-examination from his
+companion, he was rather vexed than not, that
+the said companion did not appear to take sufficient
+interest in his proceedings to inquire any
+farther into particulars.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span></p>
+
+<p>“The weather does not seem to clear up,”
+said the stranger, walking towards the window;
+“I am not quite sure what is best to be done.”</p>
+
+<p>“As for me,” said Brag, “I shall be a fixture
+for the night, if it holds on so badly.”</p>
+
+<p>“I must get home by dinner-time,” said the
+stranger.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said Brag, “then this is not your
+dinner.”</p>
+
+<p>“No,” said the stranger. “I believe in point
+of fact it <em>is</em>, but nominally it is not; I have fifteen
+miles to ride before I get home. I suppose
+one might on an emergency get a chaise here?”</p>
+
+<p>“Not here,” said Brag; “I am always
+obliged, when I want horses, to send down to
+the George,—two miles from this;—but that
+makes no difference, I’ll tell my boy to run
+down if you want them:—are you going towards
+town?”</p>
+
+<p>“No,” said the stranger, and stranger he
+was in those parts, “my course is <em>from</em> London.”</p>
+
+<p>“Eh! oh!” said Brag, evidently desirous
+of finding out his associate’s pursuits. “I shall
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span>cobble up here for the night, I think;—I dare
+say Rachel will make my tea for me, and I shall
+be uncommon comfortable, and no mistake. I
+like the—what do the French call it?—the
+‘despipere in poco,’ or something of that sort,
+as Lord Tommy says;—so here I stop. I
+have nothing to do, no business, no call, no
+tie, except that unhappy Mrs.—did I tell you
+her name?—yes I did,—Mrs. Dallington and
+her sister Blanche. They must wait—can’t
+ride through the rain for them, eh!”</p>
+
+<p>At this moment a remarkably neat, well appointed
+travelling carriage, drawn by four bright
+bays, preceded by an outrider, and in the rumble
+of which were two strapping servants, drove
+up to the door of the small ostelry—the steeds
+all thorough bred, were foaming and champing
+the bit, and the party within evidently in high
+spirits. The halt was called just to wash out
+the mouths of the horses, which were, as it appeared,
+making a long stage.</p>
+
+<p>“I say,” said Brag, “these are somebodies:—what
+nags!—did you ever see such a turn
+out;—that’s what I call going it—straight up,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span>right down, and no mistake. Let’s just go out
+and have a look at ’em.”</p>
+
+<p>Brag led the way—the stranger implicitly
+followed; the moment he exhibited his person
+by the side of the cockney, a shout of surprise
+and delight echoed from the carriage.</p>
+
+<p>“So, here you are!” cried the youngest of
+the <i lang="fr">parti carré</i>. “What <em>have</em> you been doing
+here?”</p>
+
+<p>“Doing!” said the stranger; “why you
+don’t expect a man to ride to an archery meeting
+through a torrent!”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear love,” said a lady in the carriage,
+“are you quite sure you have not got wet?”</p>
+
+<p>“Not the least,” said the stranger; “for I
+took the precaution of halting here, and getting
+some luncheon in very agreeable society. But,
+perhaps, you will let <em>me</em> in turn inquire why
+you have taken this road.”</p>
+
+<p>“Partly, I believe,” said a young man who
+turned out to be the stranger’s son, “by mistake,—the
+weather was so desperate that the
+whole affair was a <i lang="fr">coup manqué</i>, and we were
+glad enough to scramble away as well as we
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span>could; but, however, you will now come with
+<em>us</em>; they say it is an ill wind that blows nobody
+good.”</p>
+
+<p>“You may rely upon my housing myself in
+the carriage,” said the stranger, “even at the
+hazard of crowding you. Harrison, stay behind,
+and bring home my horse in the course of the
+evening, and pay my bill here; don’t hurry
+back, for I rode rather hard in coming.”</p>
+
+<p>The ladies seemed delighted at the acquisition
+which they had made to their party
+“inside,” and the stranger, with his foot on
+the step of the carriage, took off his hat and
+made a low bow to Brag, who stood looking
+on in a state of amaze and wonderment arising
+from the extraordinary fact, that anybody
+who really lived in the society of which he
+was permitted to catch occasional glimpses,
+could seriously sit down and enjoy mutton
+chops in a small alehouse, without disclosing
+his rank or talking of his connexions.</p>
+
+<p>The carriage drove off,—splashed a little
+of the mud upon Brag’s delicate nose, and
+left, according to the stranger’s directions, one
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span>of the servants behind, who upon scanning
+the figure of the cockney sportsman, turned
+away from him with an air of dignity which
+his master had never assumed; and whose remarkably
+smart leathers and tops were so
+much better “got up” than Brag’s ever were,
+(although when he wore leathers he always
+devoted a certain portion of the morning to
+his own personal care of them,) that the unhappy
+creature cowered before the menial of
+the man, whom because he was plainly dressed,
+and assumed nothing in his manner, he had
+treated as if he were an inferior.</p>
+
+<p>“I say, sir,” said Brag to the man as he
+was walking towards the stable, “may I ask
+who the gentleman is, who stepped into that
+carriage, and has left you to take home his
+horse?”</p>
+
+<p>“That’s <em>my</em> lord,” said Harrison, so was
+the man named.</p>
+
+<p>“And what lord may he be?” said Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t you know <em>my</em> lord, sir?” said Harrison;
+“I thought everybody knew him,—Lord
+Ilfracombe. That’s my Lady, and his son Lord
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span>Dawlish, and Lady Dawlish, and Lady Bloomville,
+in the carriage.”</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed! five insides!” said Brag: “and who
+was the young lady with the veil?”</p>
+
+<p>“Lady Fanny Smartly,” said the man, and
+passed on to look after his lord’s horse.</p>
+
+<p>Jack stood as if petrified: he felt his ears tingle,
+his knees shake,—the mingled impudence
+and folly of his conduct came full upon him, like
+a double-headed shot. Here were all his intimate
+friends whom he had never seen before,
+conjured up, as it were, to ruin him in the
+estimation of the head of the family, whom he
+had denounced to himself as a queer one, a
+bore, a kill-joy, and a wet blanket. He had
+not the power to stir, nor would he have moved
+from the place where he stood, with his eyes
+swimming and his head whirling, if the stable-boy
+from Figgs’s had not just begged him to
+make up his mind as to the horse he would
+keep.</p>
+
+<p>Jack, for a minute roused to a sense of his
+absurdity, gave his answer, and retired to the
+house; where having in due time recovered the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span>spirits or callousness which generally upheld
+him, he rang for some tea,—a beverage in which
+the subjects of Cockaigne delight, and which
+was in the course of half-an-hour brought him
+by a dirty red-headed boy; Rachel Stubbs having
+gone over to her aunt’s, on purpose to get
+out of the way of his nasty impertinences.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span></p>
+
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_III">
+ CHAPTER III.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>Brag’s feelings at the period of this announcement
+were by no means of the most
+agreeable character. It was quite certain that
+the scene which had just been enacted by the
+noble lord and himself would furnish materials
+for a <i lang="fr">historiette</i> in his lordship’s circle, whence
+it would infallibly descend to the sphere of his
+own actions, as fashions gradually sink from the
+duchess to the dowdy, until, as extremes meet,
+they become extinct from their universality.</p>
+
+<p>Then, for the Lothario to be slighted—avoided—cut
+by the waiting-girl of a small
+inn, who ought to have been prouder than a
+peacock at having attracted his eyes: altogether
+Jack was ill at ease, and fell to ruminating
+upon his present not brilliant prospects,
+until he fell asleep.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span></p>
+
+<p>Not so his mother. She had pondered the
+words her son had spoken: she felt that his
+recommendation to take unto herself a second
+husband, although she had passed several years
+of widowhood, was not altogether unreasonable,
+since the career which he appeared determined
+to pursue, let it terminate as it might, was not
+very likely to end in a steady settle-down to
+business, and since, as everybody allows, a
+“lone woman” in trade is liable to be imposed
+upon.</p>
+
+<p>It is odd enough, that an idea once formed
+in a mind where it never had place before,
+becomes the leading subject of thought and
+consideration. Mrs. Brag had never dreamt of
+a second marriage; and it is but fair to say,
+that none of her male, middle-aged, marrying
+acquaintance had ever, by word or deed, led
+her to moot the question. It was reserved for
+her son to fire the train; and from the moment
+it was ignited, Mrs. Brag became a different
+woman. She bestowed extra care upon her
+frill and her front; had the one plaited, and the
+other curled, with peculiar pains; took to the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span>wearing of coloured ribands; looked into the
+shop whenever she heard the sound of voices;
+and, in short, gave herself more airs than she
+had ever thought of assuming for many years
+before.</p>
+
+<p>Never, however, had she been driven into
+what may be called a resolution upon the subject,
+until the morning upon which this little
+history opens. Johnny had often suggested
+the measure, and she had at first repelled the
+idea, out of respect to the departed Mr. B.; at
+last, she listened more complacently; then, as I
+have just said, she occupied herself in putting
+the scheme in execution practically; and after
+that morning, finding that all solicitations to
+John in regard of steadiness must prove fruitless,
+she came to a resolution of obliging her
+darling boy, of whom she might justly have
+said—</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>“Johnny, with all thy faults, I love thee still,”</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>and of making herself more comfortable at
+home. How to compass the affair then became
+her only consideration; for the reader ought
+to know, that although to the very last she
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span>maintained her profession of disinclination for
+the step, she had, in fact, determined upon
+taking it. The way she went to work will
+hereafter be developed.</p>
+
+<p>The volatile John, himself, arose on the
+morning of his intended steeple-chase, little
+refreshed from the sort of feverish night’s rest
+he had enjoyed—if enjoyment it might be
+called. He could not rally from the effects of
+his self-exposure, which affected him the more
+strongly, as he began to anticipate (since it was
+evident that they were staying somewhere in
+the neighbourhood) the appearance of some of
+the branches of the noble family of Ilfracombe
+to witness what men of desperate expedients
+consider “fine sport.” What should he do if
+this very Lord Dawlish were to join the field,
+attended perhaps by Lady Fanny Smartly, or
+the earl himself? Every word that he had
+uttered the previous night would, of course, be
+repeated; and if not actually kicked or horse-whipped
+by the indignant viscount, in revenge
+for the description he had given of his father
+and his family, even Lord Tom Towzle himself,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span>who was his main-stay, might join in the general
+execration of the pretender; the more especially
+as Lord Tom had at various times borrowed
+sundry sums of Brag’s “loose cash,” and, having
+been of late refused unlimited access to his
+purse, might perhaps not be particularly sorry
+to find a cause for breaking off his acquaintance
+with him.</p>
+
+<p>The day however came, and Brag having
+breakfasted, began to rally; and resolving to
+put the best face upon the affair, he mounted
+the horse he kept, and proceeded to the scene of
+action, casting his eyes, it must be admitted, in
+every direction, in dread of encountering his
+friend of the preceding afternoon. Nothing of the
+sort, however, occurred to annihilate him; and
+when he reached the inn at which the sportsmen
+were to rendezvous, and found Lord Tom and
+his associates just the same as usual,—all gay,
+lively, and warm in their reception,—he felt
+reassured, and in less than an hour had forgotten,
+or resolved not to remember, anything
+about his self-exposure to the noble lord.</p>
+
+<p>The steeple-chase took place according to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span>notice; and at its conclusion Lord Tom, assisted
+by Brag, furnished a report of it for the
+“Sporting Intelligence” of the London papers,
+in the following words:—</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>“This event came off yesterday to the entire
+gratification of the numerous company who
+were present.</p>
+
+<p>“The course had been marked out on the
+previous day by Lord Wagley, Lord Thomas
+Towzle, and Mr. Brag, who judiciously selected
+a stiff line of country, including thirty-four
+leaps and three brooks, best calculated to try
+the mettle of both horses and riders. The
+winning-post was between two flags placed in
+a field belonging to Mr. Brag, who was also
+appointed umpire. Five horses started—</p>
+
+
+<table class="autotable">
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+“Mr. Tagrag’s ‘Washball’
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<i>Owner.</i><br>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+Capt. Snobb’s ‘Beggarboy’
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<i>Owner.</i><br>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+Sir Frederick Flapper’s ‘Stumpy’
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<i>Mr. Martingale.</i><br>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+Mr. Smith’s ‘Tommy’
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<i>Owner.</i><br>
+</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="tdl">
+
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+Colonel Ball’s ‘Blunderbuss’
+</td>
+<td class="tdl">
+<i>Mr. Flint.</i>
+</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+
+<p>“They all went off at a slashing pace. ‘Tommy’
+refused the second leap, and threw his
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span>rider over his head, and, falling backwards
+over the bank, broke his back, and died in a
+few minutes. ‘Washball’ was also unlucky in
+trying to jump a brook, which her rider did not
+know was fordable twenty yards lower down:
+she slipped her shoulder, and was obliged to be
+shot immediately after the race. We are sorry
+to add, that Mr. Tagrag, who rode her, unfortunately
+pitched upon the back of his neck,
+and severely injured his spine. He lies at the
+‘Full Moon’ at Wigglesford, without hopes
+of recovery.</p>
+
+<p>“After these little mishaps, the play was
+made entirely by ‘Beggarboy’ and ‘Stumpy,’
+‘Blunderbuss’ having knocked up after the
+first two miles and a half, and being run to a
+dead stand in the middle of a ploughed field,
+whence neither flogging nor spurring could
+move him: in fact, the shine was taken out of
+him, and it became a clear case of ‘no go.’</p>
+
+<p>“‘Beggarboy’ and ‘Stumpy’ had had enough
+of it; and when they reached the last fence,
+entered the winning-field nearly neck-and-neck.
+‘Stumpy’ tumbled into the ditch, and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span>Captain Snobbs worked ‘Beggarboy’ through
+the flags in very fine style. ‘Stumpy’ was considerably
+damaged by the last fall, which is a
+pity, inasmuch as he is about one of the best
+horses in this part of the country.</p>
+
+<p>“The race was for ten sovereigns each, and
+was run in an incredibly short space of time.
+The numerous company assembled were highly
+delighted with the spirit-stirring sport, and,
+after the chase, proceeded to a field at the back
+of the ‘Full Moon,’ to see the ties shot off of
+the great pigeon match between Mr. Slack and
+Mr. Nibbs, for a silver jug and cover.</p>
+
+<p>“The name of Nibbs in itself was sufficient
+to create an unusual interest, and the ground
+was crowded with amateurs. The terms were,
+twenty-one yards at twenty-one birds—charge
+limited to two ounces. Betting, three to one
+the winner killed eighteen—five to four on
+Nibbs. They both went in, sure of doing the
+trick; but after Slack and Nibbs had each
+killed twelve birds, Nibbs had it all his own
+way, and won the jug by five birds, killing
+nineteen to Slack’s fourteen; thus winning the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span>by-bets of three to one. Several other matches
+came off, and about a hundred and fifty pigeons
+were knocked over.</p>
+
+<p>“Nothing could exceed the gaiety of the
+scene. The weather was remarkably fine, and a
+proportion of the beauties who had honoured the
+race with their presence, were witnesses of the
+cheering sport. An old woman standing just outside
+the enclosure, received a whole charge of
+shot in her face, which is likely to cost her the
+sight of one eye at least; and a silly boy, who
+imprudently attempted to knock down one of
+the winged birds which was falling out of
+bounds, was badly wounded in the chest and
+throat. He was immediately attended to by the
+surgeon of the place, who extracted thirty-six
+shots from different parts of his person, and he
+was then forwarded in an easy cart to the county
+hospital. We hope these accidents will act as
+cautions to other equally inconsiderate individuals.</p>
+
+<p>“At the conclusion of the sports an admirable
+cold collation was served up at the ‘Full
+Moon,’ in Bunks’s best style. The evening
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span>passed off in the most delightfully convivial
+manner, and arrangements were made for a
+renewal of the exhilarating diversion of the day,
+on Thursday next, when a still more numerous
+assemblage is anticipated.”</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>This animated description, as a matter of
+course, figured in the principal journals of the
+following morning, Brag having succeeded in the
+interpolation of three or four words, conveying
+to himself a field, and, by implication, a much
+more extensive estate, in a part of the country
+where he did not possess even so much as called
+him master at his “little place in Surrey.”
+The only drawback to his happiness, however,
+upon this occasion, was a visit, three days after
+the appearance of the intelligence, from the
+farmer to whom the field actually did belong,
+who gave him to understand that he had directed
+his attorney to prosecute the trespassers,
+who without his permission had ploughed up
+his land at a season when it did not require
+tillage; and having ascertained by the newspapers
+that the whole arrangements had devolved
+upon Mr. Brag, the attorney thought it
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span>most advisable to pounce upon <em>him</em> in the first
+instance.</p>
+
+<p>This visit, and the intelligence his visitor
+conveyed to him, were anything but agreeable
+to the little man, whose feelings upon the
+matter were in no degree tranquillized by the
+conviction that his difficulties and responsibility
+were fastened upon him, because he could
+not refrain from the indulgence of his besetting
+propensity, in making himself not only the hero
+of the affair, but the owner of the ground over
+which it had been decided.</p>
+
+<p>The next race, however, which Mr. Brag was
+destined to run, was away from the lawyer, and
+accordingly, with prudence, which in animals
+unclothed, we designate instinct, but which in
+cases like that of Johnny we by courtesy call
+reason, our hero quitted his head quarters at the
+Duke’s Head, and proceeded to town per stage-coach;
+the second message from Mr. Figgs,
+with regard to the horses, having been accompanied
+with a peremptory demand that they
+might both be sent back.</p>
+
+<p>Brag returned to town considerably damaged,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span>and however bold he might be in assuming
+consequence, and claiming friendships, never
+did human being more clearly evince by his
+personal appearance the workings of what served
+him for mind, than he; a blow like that which
+he had just received from the farmer’s announcement
+completely upset him, and in five minutes
+the sprightly, pert, impudent-looking wagling
+was metamorphosed into a pale, downcast, miserable
+victim; and in a plight thus indicative
+of defeat, he reached the metropolis, quite
+undecided how to dispose of himself for the
+afternoon.</p>
+
+<p>While he is in this state of suspense let us
+look for one moment at those over whose destinies
+he almost unconsciously possessed a most
+extraordinary influence. Sir Charles Lydiard,
+whose sensitiveness had once been disturbed,
+and whose shyness had been excited by Rushton’s
+observations upon the manner in which
+Brag was received at Mrs. Dallington’s, could
+not get rid of the impression which he had at
+first so hesitatingly received. None who have
+not felt jealousy—and, since there never can be
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span>love without it, who has not?—can imagine the
+pains which a patient once infected with the
+disease, the jaundice of the mind, incessantly
+takes to keep up its virulence. It so happened,
+that Sir Charles had never seen Brag since his
+conversation with Rushton, and therefore had
+no opportunity of watching the “telegraph” of
+which they had upon that occasion spoken; but
+upon a reference to all that <em>had</em> passed, he
+managed to combine a thousand “trifles light
+as air,” an infinity of nothings, the consideration
+of which produced an increased exhibition
+of coldness and reserve during his next two or
+three calls at the widow’s.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Dallington saw this accession of frigidity,
+and without exactly hitting upon its true
+cause, did certainly “telegraph” Blanche into
+an observance of it. This new glance gave
+new grounds for doubts and apprehensions, and
+the worthy baronet passed four miserable hours
+in the boudoir of the woman he best loved
+in the world, if he had but known it, devoutly
+wishing to make his escape, but fearing to
+move lest an <i lang="fr">éclaircissement</i> should take place.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span></p>
+
+<p>Sir Charles felt more embarrassed from the
+fact that he had <em>not</em> seen his aversion during
+his last one or two visits; and because he was
+extremely anxious to know the cause of an absence
+on his part longer than usual; and because,
+above all, he could not induce himself to
+make the smallest inquiry after him. Other
+men called, joined in the conversation, and relieved
+Sir Charles from the restraint under which
+the dread of a serious explanation kept him
+whenever the temporary absence of Blanche reduced
+the circle to a <i lang="fr">tête-à-tête</i>; but the appearance
+of none of those worried or annoyed him.
+Mrs. Dallington’s manner, kind to all, was in
+no degree particular to any one of them; but
+certainly, now that Rushton had concurred
+with him in his views upon the subject, he <em>did</em>
+think that Brag was very differently treated by
+both ladies. Still, he could not descend to
+touch upon the topic; and after a feverish
+sitting on the third morning after Brag’s departure,
+Sir Charles left the widow’s to dress
+for dinner, pleading an engagement which he
+had not, for declining an invitation from her
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span>and her sister to dine with them, which he
+would have been, if he could have commanded
+his feelings, too happy to accept.</p>
+
+<p>Rushton, who had been there, but was also
+absent in the evening, became more actively
+employed in Brag’s business than his cold and
+calculating colleague. In passing Grosvenor
+Street he encountered Brag proceeding to visit
+his door-plate and inquire for letters, just
+arrived from the Duke of Marlborough, having
+been let out of the coach (in the inside of which
+he travelled to avoid the farmer’s lawyer) at
+the corner of a back street in the Edgeware
+Road, so as not to be detected in his descent;
+by which ingenious device, and the exhibition of
+a whip in his hand and a pair of spurs on his
+heels, the pretender let it be inferred that he
+had ridden up to town upon one of the nine
+horses, which did not belong to him.</p>
+
+<p>Rushton welcomed his <em>friend</em> to London;
+and anxious to ascertain, if he could, whether
+he proposed making an evening visit to Mrs.
+Dallington’s, joined him in his walk down the
+street.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Just returned?” said Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“This minute dismounted,” said Brag; “capital
+sport;—never better!—all smack smooth,
+and no mistake. Killed two horses outright,
+and one man, I fancy; however, he was well
+picked up, and the doctor has got him in
+charge.”</p>
+
+<p>“Much company?” said Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“Lots of people,” answered Brag, who,
+unable to repress that which was certainly
+true, however dangerous the allusion to the
+family might be elsewhere; “I myself did not
+stay at Wigglesford, I had rooms at the
+inn where my horses stand. All quiet, snug;
+no nonsense;—civil people; good landlord;
+pretty daughter, eh!—you understand—no
+mistake!”</p>
+
+<p>“Were you alone, then?” said Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“Not altogether,” said Brag; “old <span id="TN4">Ilfracombe</span>
+dined with me. He was going to an
+archery-meeting to join his family. Weather
+turned out bad; took part of my little dinner;—humble
+fare—mere soup, fish, cutlet and
+capon. The rest of the party joined us after
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span>dinner. Dawlish and his wife, and Lady Sarah
+Smartly—they did not get out of the carriage—so
+I packed him off, and returned to finish
+my claret, and wind up the evening in <em>my</em>
+way, eh?”</p>
+
+<p>“Are you going to the widow’s this evening?”
+said Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“Not certain,” said Brag: “I’m rather
+tired, and more than half engaged. How is
+Sir Charles? Cold chap, that, eh? Don’t you
+think so?”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Rushton, “a trifle upsets him.
+He is the most delicate-minded man I ever met
+with: an expression, a word, a look affects him
+in a way one could scarcely imagine.”</p>
+
+<p>“Proud, eh?” said Brag. “Distant, eh?”</p>
+
+<p>“No,” replied Rushton. “There is a coldness
+in his manner, I admit; and those who
+do not know him may fancy this proceeds from
+<i lang="fr">hauteur</i>; but the fact is, that however much he
+may warm in the course of the evening, he falls
+back to his original state of chilliness the next
+morning, and requires a new process to <i lang="fr">degêler</i>
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span>him. He is not therefore popular, but, in
+truth, his apparent coldness has its origin in
+diffidence and a distrust of himself.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh! that’s diffidence, is it?” said Brag.
+“I can’t say I quite understand <em>that</em>: I thought
+it was pride—but for <em>that</em>, in course I don’t care
+one farthing, and no mistake.”</p>
+
+<p>It all at once struck Rushton (Sir Charles having
+naturally, although unexpectedly, become
+the subject of their conversation) that the present
+would be a favourable opportunity of
+sounding (the water not being very deep) the
+views and intentions of his communicative
+friend.</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said he, “to tell you the truth,
+Brag, I do not think <em>you</em> a fair judge of Sir
+Charles. I have my quarrels with him upon
+different shades of feeling; but you—<em>you</em> are
+totally different.”</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t see that,” said Brag. “It’s all
+one to me, you know. I don’t care a fig,
+as I say to Lord Tom: take me as I am,
+eh!—all right up, straight down, no mistake.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span>I quite agree with you in differing with
+<em>him</em>; but I don’t see how <em>my</em> case differs from
+<em>yours</em>.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah!” said Rushton, “there it is: it is in
+that difference all the difference lies.”</p>
+
+<p>“How d’ye mean?” said Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“He is afraid of you,” replied his companion.</p>
+
+<p>“Afraid of <em>me</em>!” said Brag, pulling up his
+shirt collar, “that’s too good.”</p>
+
+<p>“You are too civil by half to the widow,”
+said Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“Me!”</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said Rushton, “and what is even
+more to the purpose, he thinks she is too civil
+by half to you.”</p>
+
+<p>“Upon your honour!” said Brag, in an
+ecstasy of delight—“afraid of <em>me</em>! Come,
+come—eh!—that’s too good!”</p>
+
+<p>“Not a bit too good,” said Rushton. “I
+tell you what it is—I’ll be candid with you—I
+am just as much afraid of you myself.”</p>
+
+<p>“You, Rushton!” said Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“Yes, more than Sir Charles is,” replied
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span>Rushton. “Recollect now—remember—think
+how you go on with Blanch Englefield—a
+being all shyness and reserve with everybody
+else, is with <em>you</em>, animated and evidently interested
+in your conversation.”</p>
+
+<p>“You don’t mean that <em>you</em> are afraid of
+<em>me</em>, too,” said Brag, fully convinced of the
+entire seriousness of the conversation, which
+after all contained more of real apprehension
+than Rushton would have willingly had him
+know. “I certainly have a way, eh!—I don’t
+know what it is—it cannot be person—manner,
+I suppose. I am always ready to talk, eh!
+The tongue is the very deuce in a sharp fellow’s
+head—a little repartee, and all that, eh!—small-talk,
+and a good deal of it—that’s it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Clearly,” said Rushton.</p>
+
+<p>“The women like little parties,” said Brag—“fêtes—water
+excursions—<i lang="fr">dejeuners</i>, and all
+that. Then they get so good-humoured; and
+the champagne—and the return—and the
+moonlight—and the music, and all <em>that</em>.”</p>
+
+<p>“You have not yet opened your battery in
+that line,” said Rushton.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Waiting for weather,” said Brag. “I’ll
+show you the way to do that sort of thing as
+soon as summer is well in, eh!—and then, I
+think, you <em>will</em> have the heart-ache.”</p>
+
+<p>“Are you, then, so general a lover?” said
+Rushton. “Will neither content your love of
+conquest? Must you win both?”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh! come,” said Brag, putting his finger
+to his nose, and winking, “you are playing
+your tricks—what do <em>they</em> care for <em>me</em>?”</p>
+
+<p>“That remains to be seen,” said Rushton.
+“My firm belief is, that you may obtain the
+hand of either of them; and my opinion, moreover,
+is, that if you have not serious intentions
+that way, as far as one of them is concerned,
+you do an injustice to both, by acting
+towards them as you do.”</p>
+
+<p>“Upon your life!” said Jack—“you are
+serious?”</p>
+
+<p>“Perfectly,” said Rushton; “however, this
+is entirely between ourselves: and whatever
+step you take, let me just mention, that the
+widow is much the more lively companion of
+the two, and has rather the better fortune; so
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span>turn your basilisk eyes towards her, and leave
+the poor silent, sighing Blanche for me. Adieu!
+Here we are at your door—you are at home.
+Do me the favour to remember what I have
+said, and as you are great be merciful.”</p>
+
+<p>Saying which, Rushton quitted his friend,
+who was completely overset by the announcement
+of the opinion he had just heard delivered.
+It took very little to convince him of
+his power over what he called the “female
+sex,” and he had certainly for some time felt
+very much inclined to coincide with Rushton
+in his views upon this particular point. But
+then came the question—Which of the prizes
+should he take?—which of the lovers should he
+immolate? Lydiard, he was assured, was too
+cold and odd to charm the widow, and Rushton
+too violent and jealous to be agreeable as a
+husband to Blanche. The notion once put into
+his head, operated there like that with which he
+had a short time before possessed his respectable
+mother on a similar subject, and all that now remained
+for him to do was to make up his mind
+for a decision. That he <em>did</em> decide, the reader
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span>is destined soon to see; how, for the present,
+must remain a secret.</p>
+
+<p>There certainly is one part of the affair
+which did not make itself evident to him.
+Blinded by his vanity, he did not perceive that
+the whole object Rushton had in view in acknowledging
+his own fears, which he really fancied
+had some foundation, and in encouraging
+his pretensions, was the expulsion of the little
+man altogether; for although he had succeeded
+in awakening Sir Charles’s suspicions, and Sir
+Charles had been equally fortunate in arousing
+<em>his</em>, and that he had moreover discovered, by
+Brag’s manner and admission, that the widow
+was, at least of the two, the present object of his
+admiration, he felt perfectly satisfied that he
+would receive his <i lang="fr">congée</i> the very hour in which
+he made a formal declaration, and thus, without
+appearing in the business, he should be relieved
+from all farther apprehensions from his presence,
+while the affair of his expulsion would,
+in fact, be that of Lydiard and the widow.</p>
+
+<p>Brag, however, was about to be entangled in
+another little business, which promised to interfere
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span>with the immediate execution of his plan.
+He had resolved upon repairing to his “little
+place in Surrey,” in order to look after certain
+affairs which were essential to the production of
+the means for “carrying on the war,” and
+afterwards proposed, at least when it should be
+sufficiently dark for the purpose—to visit his
+mother, who, wisely enough, took care of the
+shop as far as her abilities would permit her to
+watch one or two clerks and shopmen, who undoubtedly,
+seeing that she was a “lone woman,”
+did every day that, of which, in her own phrase,
+she was so much afraid “put upon her;”
+which phrase, rendered into plain English,
+means, cheat her out of her property whenever
+they were able.</p>
+
+<p>As our story expands, it may be necessary
+here to observe, that Mrs. Brag had a daughter,
+the sister of John, who had never been a favourite
+with her father. People said her temper
+was bad: some people said one thing, and other
+people, as they will do, said other things: certain
+it is, that home was no home for her. And
+after a sort of half-and-half education at a suburban
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span>boarding-school, where she learned astronomy,
+the mathematics, netting, knitting, knotting,
+the use of the globes, dancing, geometry,
+drawing, embroidery, rug-working, purse-making,
+flower-painting, botany, singing, geology,
+plain needle-work, natural history, stencilling,
+Italian, French, Spanish, and German, the harp,
+guitar, piano-forte, tambourine, and triangle,
+together with many other sciences and accomplishments,
+“too numerous for the brief space
+of an advertisement,” she early in life married
+hastily, and clandestinely, a gentleman in the
+army of the name of Brown. His military duties
+had since called him to India, where his regiment
+had now been for several years. Of him
+or his sister, Jack seldom spoke, and, when he
+did, coldly referred to her husband as the major.
+Any little uneasiness which her father had
+evinced about the marriage at the period at
+which it occurred, had been decently buried in
+oblivion by the fond mother and her son, who,
+whatever other feelings might have prompted
+him to this acquiescence in the affair, it could
+not be doubted was in a considerable degree
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span>acted upon by a desire to say nothing whatever
+about it.</p>
+
+<p>There was, however, a person for whom, in
+earlier life, and before the doting fondness of
+his sire had spoiled him, he did feel as deep an
+interest as such a mind as his was capable of—this
+was no other than the major’s sister,
+Miss Brown—Anne christened, but called
+familiarly in those times Nancy Brown. It
+does not sound romantic by way of a name,
+but what <em>is</em> in a name?</p>
+
+<p>At the time of Brag’s acquaintance with
+her, she was a lovely girl just eighteen, fair
+as the lily and fresh as the rose. Her mother
+was an humble personage, no better,
+let it be understood, than a dress-maker, to
+whom this daughter was assistant; for, lest we
+should ourselves fall into the errors of which
+Brag was guilty, it may be as well to observe,
+that the military functionary with whom
+Kitty became enamoured, and who had the
+honour of leading her to the Hymeneal altar
+without her father’s consent, derived his rank
+of major from Brag himself; in giving him
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span>which brevet he felt himself probably justified,
+inasmuch as it was derived from a mere
+abbreviation of his real title. Brown was
+serjeant-major in the regiment to which he belonged;
+but the omission of one half of his
+official denomination was adopted very early by
+Jack, with, it must be confessed, the full acquiescence
+of his father, who never could
+think of the misbehaviour of Kitty in making
+such a match, with common patience.</p>
+
+<p>When his father died, Johnny, as will be
+seen hereafter, became so fine a gentleman,
+that he never paid the least further attention
+either to Nancy Brown or the promises he had
+so earnestly made her; judge, then, the surprise
+and mortification which overwhelmed the
+vain and foolish creature when his mother,
+after the usual greetings upon his arrival at
+home, placed in his hands a letter from his
+poor suffering victim.</p>
+
+<p>To describe the face or the feelings of Brag
+when this appeal from his once dear Anne was
+handed to him by his respected parent, (who
+was not entirely aware of the real state of the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span>case, but believed the communication, in all
+probability, to have some reference to her
+daughter, whom she in her heart had, with a mother’s
+feelings, forgiven,) would be impossible.
+To come from a question of supplanting Sir
+Charles Lydiard in the good graces of Mrs.
+Dallington, to a letter from Nancy Brown of
+Walworth, was indeed a sinking in the sublime.
+He turned pale, as usual; then flushed; then
+his lips quivered, and his eyes opened; and
+then, without saying one syllable, he thrust the
+paper unopened into his pocket, where it shall
+remain until a new chapter gives us space for
+its perusal.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span></p>
+
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_IV">
+ CHAPTER IV.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>The letter which Jack, having hastily glanced
+at the superscription, thrust out of sight, follows.</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p class="right p2">
+ “Walworth, Tuesday.<br>
+ <br>
+</p>
+<p>
+ “<span class="smcap">Dear John</span>,
+</p>
+
+<p>“I hope you will not be angry with me for
+writing to-day. You remember what day it is?
+I think I need not remind you that it is your
+poor Anne’s birthday. For three or four years
+after Katharine’s marriage with George, and
+their departure for the Indies, you used to write
+to <em>me</em> on this day, but you afterwards left off
+doing so; and I should not perhaps have broken
+in upon you now if the anniversary had been
+as bright and as cheering as it once used to be.
+No, my dear John, ‘hope deferred maketh the
+heart sick;’ and although I have by this time
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span>learned to give up all expectation of your fulfilling
+your promises made to me before your
+father’s death, I neither have forgotten my
+affection for <em>you</em>, nor mean to upbraid you with
+your forgetfulness of <em>me</em>.</p>
+
+<p>“When we were so much together, and when
+you said you could be happy with nobody else,
+and told me of your dread of your father’s
+anger, which he had indeed shown by never
+seeing poor Katharine after her marriage with
+my brother George, you led me to believe that
+the old gentleman’s objections were the only
+obstacles in the way of our marriage. I lived
+on—not in hopes of his death, for I could
+not be so wicked as to hope for that—but
+I lived on, certain that, when it should please
+Providence to take him, you would fulfil your
+promise and redeem your pledge. He died,
+John, but you came not to me, wrote not
+to me. Day after day I watched; listened to
+every knock at the door, fancying it might be
+you; and every time I saw the postman coming
+towards our lodging, my heart beat because I
+thought he might bring me a letter from you.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span></p>
+
+<p>“A year passed away, and then, as you know,
+I wrote to you, rather because I had heard
+from George and your sister, and wished you
+to have news of them, which I knew you
+could not otherwise get, than to worry you
+with my own importunities. You answered
+<em>that</em> letter, but you came not yourself, neither
+did the letter which you wrote contain one kind
+word, or one allusion to other days, now
+past and gone. Yet I complained not. I heard
+of you in gay parties and gay places; I
+sighed to think how far we were parted, and
+perhaps I cried, John: but you were happy
+and prosperous, and doing well in the world;
+and I could only blame myself for having, when
+a girl, been so foolish as to fancy that you cared
+for me enough to make me your wife.</p>
+
+<p>“Six years and two months this very day
+was the first time we met, and God knows, although
+I have felt sorrow and sadness enough
+since, it seems to me as if it were but yesterday.
+It was to oblige and serve your sister Katharine,
+who was my friend, that I walked out
+with her, when she used to meet George. I
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span>did not see any harm in their courtship: I
+thought well of my brother; I knew he was
+kind and good; his officers gave him the highest
+character for steadiness, activity, honour,
+and integrity; he loved <em>her</em>, and she loved <em>him</em>.
+I ought, perhaps, to have known, that he was
+not what is called a suitable match for Katharine;
+but girls of seventeen, especially upon such
+matters, do not always calculate. I am sure <em>I</em>
+did not, or I would not have helped her to take
+a step which was to make her parents so angry.</p>
+
+<p>“It was the same blindness in my own case
+that permitted me to listen to your professions.
+I am not ashamed to own, John, that I loved
+you fondly; nor am I ashamed to tell you,
+although perhaps you will not believe me, that
+the impressions made <em>then</em> remain as strong as
+ever. I have not seen you here for more now
+than three years. Perhaps it is for the best.
+I <em>did</em> see you once, now about four months
+since, riding with another gentleman; it was
+in the Kent Road. I thought you saw <em>me</em>,
+but I am sure I must have been mistaken.</p>
+
+<p>“What I now write about, cuts me to the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span>soul! <em>My</em> fate is sealed! and never shall a
+murmur of mine for myself cause you a moment’s
+uneasiness. The folly was mine: I
+alone will suffer!—But there <em>is</em> another to
+whom—I scarce can hold my pen to write the
+words—to whom, by the strongest ties of nature,
+and the sacred word of God, I am bound.
+I could not beg of a stranger; my heart
+would burst before I could confess my wretchedness;—to
+<em>you</em>, John, I <em>can</em> speak. My poor
+mother is, I fear, dying. She has been confined
+to her bed for several days, and I have
+nobody to watch over her but myself. Her
+illness has prevented her working, and my constant
+attendance upon her, has hindered me
+from doing anything myself. Do not be angry
+with me, John; what I ask, is not for myself.
+She shall bless you for your care of her, and
+be grateful for any little aid you may afford
+her. When she recovers, she and I will struggle
+to repay you.</p>
+
+<p>“If you required any proof of my unshaken
+regard, you might find it in this request. As I
+have told you, time and reflection have taught
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span>me the folly of my ever considering you more
+than a friend,—it is in the character of a dear
+friend that I ask this favour for the best of
+parents.</p>
+
+<p>“I have put the address to this letter, which
+is the same as the one which was to my last;
+but I thought, perhaps, you might have destroyed
+it and forgotten the direction. We
+have not heard from George for more than two
+years, which makes my poor mother very sad;
+but we have been told that his regiment is coming
+home. You who are so much in the world
+could find out in a minute, I know: even if you
+did not care about George, you must be anxious
+to hear of Katharine, whom you fondly loved,
+and who I know loved you with equal affection.</p>
+
+<p>“I will not take up more of your time. Let
+me have one line, to say you have received this.
+I shall count the minutes till I get your answer,
+which may at all events assure me that you are
+not angry with me. God bless you, John—dear
+John! and assure yourself of the affectionate
+friendship of</p>
+
+<p class="right p2">
+ “Yours,
+ <span class="smcap">Anne Brown</span>.
+</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span></p>
+
+<p>“You will see by the seal of this, how your
+present to me was valued, and how it has been
+treasured. Adieu.”</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>This was the letter which Mr. John Brag thrust
+into his coat pocket in his mother’s presence,
+and which in five minutes afterwards was as
+hastily withdrawn from it and thrown into the
+fire unopened and unread. “John,” as poor
+Anne called him, knew the writing, and with
+the low cunning of a vulgar mind, fancied he
+could justly anticipate the contents of an appeal
+from an amiable woman whom he had deluded
+and betrayed, leaving her no consolation in her
+desertion but that which she could not fail to
+derive from the support of religion and the
+consciousness of her own unspotted virtue.</p>
+
+<p>Yes, Anne, the humble unpretending Anne,
+was still the gentle, modest creature he had
+found her. Her mind was, perhaps, not so very
+highly cultivated as others in the world, nor
+were her accomplishments so numerous, but
+she was a woman; and kindness, duty, devotion,
+and disinterestedness were blended in the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</span>composition of her character. Mr. John Brag
+would probably have described her in different
+terms, had he ever permitted himself to speak
+of her, and perhaps would have affected to
+pity the “poor creature,” while he laughed at
+her fondness and credulity. Mr. John Brag
+was a great talker, and everybody knows what
+that is. The nature and extent of his feelings
+and regard for the once loved of his earlier days
+may easily be ascertained, by the way in which
+he treated her appeal. He stood and looked
+at the flames as they scorched and finally consumed
+the paper, and quitted the room perfectly
+satisfied with his firmness and philosophy,
+thinking, as it appeared, with Lord Monteagle’s
+anonymous friend, that “the danger was past
+as soon as he had burned the letter.”</p>
+
+<p>The writing this letter to one whom she yet
+believed in heart devoted to her, although withheld
+from making her his wife by considerations
+first instilled into his mind by his late
+father, and, for all she knew, kept alive by
+his surviving parent, cost poor Anne a severe
+struggle. When it was despatched, it became
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</span>the sole object of her consideration from morning
+till night. The doubt whether she had done
+wrong,—whether John would think ill of her,
+or fancy her mercenary or presuming,—whether
+he would receive it as she hoped, and come perhaps
+himself, bearing the relief she sought for
+her poor mother,—whether he would make a
+point of taking it to her on the day upon which
+the application reached him, the day upon one
+anniversary of which he had given her the very
+seal with which she had sealed it,—whether it
+might awaken feelings which she was sure he
+possessed, but which, for the reasons we have
+just stated, had been suffered to lie dormant,—and
+whether——!</p>
+
+<p>But vain were all her hopes—groundless all
+her fears,—by one rude blow the bond between
+them had been eternally severed; and while
+the poor anxious Anne was pondering these
+things in her mind, Mr. John Brag was dining
+at the Ship Tavern at Greenwich, with a party
+of uncommonly fine fellows, who, in spite of
+those leviathans of the deep, the steam-ships,
+which agitate the surface of the once silver
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</span>Thames into a sort of metropolitan sea, had
+pulled down from Whitehall in their accustomed
+blue shirts, to partake of the fare for which,
+as well as its hospital, Greenwich is so famous.</p>
+
+<p>Day passed after day, and, as the reader may
+easily anticipate, Anne and her application remained
+unnoticed. In <em>her</em> mind this silence
+was associated with some calamity which must
+have befallen John, and this apprehension added
+to her other griefs and anxiety; meanwhile, her
+mother’s illness increased, and, almost without
+the common necessaries of life, Anne was at all
+hazards forced to call in medical assistance.</p>
+
+<p>She had here again a difficult, a delicate
+task to perform, but it was a duty, a filial duty;
+and who can doubt that the well-regulated
+mind of this now humble girl was soon made
+up as to the course she was to pursue? The
+reader may have noticed the expression, “<em>now</em>
+humble,” it is meant that he should notice it,
+because, humble as was and had been the position
+of the mother and her two children, they
+had been born to better things. Anne’s father
+was the son of a Bristol merchant who had
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span>amassed considerable property, to which his son
+succeeded. He married early, and, contrary to
+the advice of his friends, left his native city to
+enter upon a new field of speculation in London.</p>
+
+<p>Those who remember the wonderful prospects
+held out in the year 1825, and who perhaps are
+even yet suffering from the effects of their vast
+and sudden destruction, may anticipate the termination
+of Mr. Brown’s career at an earlier period.
+Those who at the present moment are assailed
+on every side by the most plausible professions
+and the most tempting offers of fortunes incalculable,
+by an embarkation in the variously
+diverging abominations called rail-roads, and
+who fancy a dividend is at hand before a spade
+has been struck in the ground, which it is proposed
+to disfigure and destroy for the lucre of
+gain, had better take warning by it.—For some
+two or three years Mr. Brown occupied a handsome
+house, his table was open to his numerous
+mercantile friends, and, in those days, everything
+that Mr. Brown possessed was of the best,
+everything he did was of the wisest. The war
+which the triumph of Waterloo so gloriously
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span>closed, was, at the time of Mr. Brown’s prosperity,
+raging fiercely; every foreign port was
+closed by an embargo; the market was safely
+shut against the importation of an article in
+general demand, of which he held a considerable
+quantity. The fine and liberal notion struck
+him of buying up at all hazards and all prices
+this desirable commodity:—he did so,—and,
+although as a young beginner in London not
+much known, he had agents all over the Empire,
+who were employed by him to keep incessantly
+purchasing, until warehouse after warehouse was
+stored with it, and he became nearly the only
+holder in the kingdom. Thus, having long before
+expended all his capital in the pursuit, he proposed
+to regulate the market with the turn of his
+finger. The price advanced, he still held; it advanced
+yet more; and he began to doubt whether
+he had screwed it up to a pitch sufficiently
+high to answer his purpose, and make him a <i lang="fr">millionaire</i>;
+when, one fine morning, an order in
+council suddenly and unexpectedly opened the
+long-closed ports, and the next week beheld,
+Mr. Brown an irretrievably ruined bankrupt.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span></p>
+
+<p>In the pursuit of his infatuating speculation
+his engagements had become incalculably enormous,
+and the consequent securities unbounded.
+The shock of such a reverse was too much for
+such a mind, and in the midst of recklessness,
+remorse, and despair, he consummated all his
+other madnesses by suicide.</p>
+
+<p>In the hour of distress, it was shown that no
+provision had been made for his widow and two
+children. His connexions at Bristol were few,
+and those, greatly offended at his quitting his
+native city, did not feel at all disposed to relieve
+his relict, whom, however unjustly, they
+thought proper, conveniently enough in order to
+save their own pence, to denounce as the first
+cause of his increased rate of living, to support
+which he had had recourse to extraordinary means
+of gain; and when all was done that <em>could</em> be
+done, an annuity of forty pounds a year was
+secured for her, by a subscription amongst a
+few of her husband’s friends in London.</p>
+
+<p>The fall was sudden, dreadful; at that period
+her son George was about eighteen, Anne
+about twelve. George had received a fair education
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span>at a school at Clapton or Hackney, I now
+forget which, and was a fine handsome grown
+young man. Anne was almost too young to appreciate
+the full extent of her misfortune, and
+her affectionate disposition led her thus early to
+devote all her care to her surviving parent, to
+whom the change in their circumstances and
+station, to her almost unaccountable, only
+endeared her the more.</p>
+
+<p>George was old enough to know the whole
+truth, and to feel the bitterness of repulse
+when his mother tried to procure him a mercantile
+situation in the city, and being of a
+bold and resolute character, he left his home
+without any communication with either his mother
+or sister, and enlisted in an infantry regiment,
+then in Ireland. It was not until his
+scheme had been irrevocably completed, that
+he imparted the truth to his parent, and then
+returning to receive her blessing, departed for
+the Emerald Isle with a sort of negative concurrence
+on her part, obtained by the expression
+of his determination upon the point, and
+an avowal that, if he even could obtain footing
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span>in any merchant’s counting-house, he felt assured
+that his disposition and feelings would
+not permit him to continue in it.</p>
+
+<p>George’s removal from her care and charge,
+however much she lamented the separation, of
+course relieved the widow from considerable
+expense; and the little Anne was not yet of an
+age to require much outlay; for her mother,
+who had been cruelly misrepresented by her
+late husband’s connexions as being the cause
+and origin of his follies, was of a most domestic
+turn of mind, and sufficiently accomplished
+to instruct her daughter in as much of ornamental
+education as it was probable she ever
+would require.</p>
+
+<p>Still it was evident that the annuity which
+was secured to her would not be sufficient
+to support them without additions derivable
+from some other source; and thus it was that
+she formed the resolution of retiring to one of
+the villages near town, and turning the minor
+accomplishments which she possessed, to account,
+in order to increase her income. This she
+did, and, under the blessing of Providence, successfully.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span>Undisturbed by the inquiries of any
+of the friends of her prosperity, but encouraged
+by the respectable inhabitants of the
+neighbourhood in which she had fixed her humble
+abode, she obtained by the sale of numerous
+fancy articles of her own making, and by even
+humbler employments, a sufficient income to
+render <em>her</em> happy, inasmuch as it secured the
+society of her beloved daughter. In Bristol
+and its neighbourhood the name of Brown, common
+as it is, might from circumstances have
+attracted the unpleasant curiosity of some, and
+entailed upon her the equally disagreeable
+commiseration or condemnation—coming hand
+in hand, perhaps—of others; but in the neighbourhood
+of London few people, out of his
+own immediate circle, knew the victim of ill-fated
+ambition, and all that was said of Mrs.
+Brown in the village in which she located herself
+was, that she was a remarkably nice civil
+lady-like person, and had evidently been born
+much above the station she then filled.</p>
+
+<p>It was about two years after George’s departure
+from the home he had scarcely inhabited,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span>that the acquaintance between Katharine Brag
+and Nancy Brown commenced. It originated
+in the fact that Mrs. Brown, anxious that her
+child should improve herself upon certain points
+of education beyond those to which she might
+herself be competent to lead her, or rather, if
+the truth were told, finding that more regularity
+and restraint were necessary to settle the
+habits and fix the attention of her child, than
+were likely to be observed or enforced at home,
+resolved on sending her as a day scholar to
+Lavender Lodge, the “Seminary for young
+Ladies,” at which Miss Brag was—in all probability
+as a set-off for soap and candles—being
+polished up to perfection—this special favour
+being granted to the widow on account of
+her exemplary conduct, and the universal respect
+in which she was held.</p>
+
+<p>With the girls at Lavender Lodge, little
+Anne soon became an amazing favourite and a
+general pet. The very circumstance of her returning
+home to dinner, and quitting her companions
+after school hours, gave her a sort of
+distinction, and made her, as it were, the medium
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span>of intelligence, and even of communication,
+by which contraband luxuries were sometimes
+smuggled in, and what are technically
+called “slip-letters,” from the bigger girls to
+their friends, were smuggled out of the seminary.
+By these acts of kindness, the impropriety
+of which Nancy was then not old enough
+perfectly to comprehend, she was quite the
+fashion, and the boarders were unanimous in
+treating her with kindness and affection.</p>
+
+<p>Amongst her greatest friends was Katharine
+Brag, who was more than ordinarily good-natured
+to her, and during the three years Miss
+Brag remained at school before she was pronounced
+everything that heart could wish,
+Anne had grown up to be more than sixteen
+years of age—and had so far gained the confidence
+of the head of the establishment, that it
+seemed more than probable she might eventually
+become a permanent assistant in its duties. Circumstances,
+however, occurred to put an end to
+this probability; for a lady who had taken considerable
+interest in Mrs. Brown’s success, made
+a proposal to her to establish herself in the village
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span>of Walworth, near London, where she was
+certain she could ensure her support and patronage
+in the sale of her various works, as well as
+in the art and mystery of dress-making, which
+the industrious mother had studied, and now
+practised, to maintain herself and her child.
+This offer, superadded to the desire of Anne
+herself to contribute her share of labour to
+their joint maintenance, decided their removal.</p>
+
+<p>This change of habitation tended rather to
+confirm the friendship of Miss Brag for her
+friend; for it was effected just about the period
+at which that young lady finally quitted
+school. The amiable manners of Anne again
+became her passport into the society of the
+elder Brags; and although she was received as
+the humble companion of the young lady, she
+was so genteel and so clever that they thought
+(much strengthened in their opinions by that
+of their daughter) that it was greatly to her
+advantage to have such a companion.</p>
+
+<p>In the midst of this happy communion, and
+just as John Brag had begun to look at Anne
+with eyes not quite indifferent, her brother
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span>George arrived at home on leave of absence from
+his regiment, previous to its departure for
+India. He was then a fine handsome young
+man, of two or three and twenty. The military
+drillings he had undergone had set him
+up, and his figure was just what a figure
+ought to be. The career he had run since
+he entered the army had been honourable and
+satisfactory. The notice of his officers had
+very early after his enlistment been attracted
+to the attention, regularity, and assiduity
+with which he performed all his military duties;
+and a rumour having soon got about that
+he was something better than he seemed to
+be, he was taken notice of by the captain
+of his company, who, after inquiries, not
+further pushed than he felt consistent with
+delicacy, and the evident desire of the young
+man himself for a certain degree of concealment,
+suggested him as a fit occupant of the
+office of paymaster’s clerk, for which it was
+evident he was fully qualified:—he was speedily
+raised to be a corporal, and before his first
+four years of service were expired, had become
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span>serjeant-major of his regiment, a circumstance
+perhaps unparalleled in the British
+service.</p>
+
+<p>In one of those moments which decide the
+fate of empires and of ladies, Katharine Brag
+met George Brown; it took but one glance
+of his bright eyes to scorch her susceptible
+heart, and unfortunately or fortunately, as the
+case may be, George Brown reciprocated the
+feeling. It was no difficult matter to get Anne
+to agree to Katharine’s avowal, that she had
+never seen so charming a person,—an officer too,—the
+thing of all others; for the immediate
+rank of the young hero “in mufti” was never
+explicitly defined; and while she was contriving
+all sorts of devices to enjoy his society in the
+participation of the various amusements of
+middling life, her brother John, who had become
+great friends with George for the sake of
+his sister, fell into all their arrangements with
+the greatest readiness; so that every day in
+which they could manage it, little parties were
+made for Exhibitions, Panoramas, and all the
+Vauxhalls, Lyceums, Playhouses, and places
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span>of public resort, where either during the performance
+or after it was over, they might so
+satisfactorily pair off, as to leave themselves
+counterchanged in couples, to the unqualified
+delights of that sort of honeyed conversation,
+to which it is as impossible to do justice in
+the repetition, as it is barbarous to interrupt in
+its progress.</p>
+
+<p>After the play, as George was with her,
+Anne would stop to supper with the old Brags;
+and then, as John Brag was fond of exercise,
+he would see George and his sister home to
+Walworth after supper was over; and so they
+went on, until John was desperately in love with
+Anne, and Katharine resolved upon marrying
+George.</p>
+
+<p>Katharine believed that she had great influence
+over her father, and, from what Anne had
+told her of her origin, never imagined but
+that she should procure his consent to her marriage
+with George,—an affair which “pressed,”
+inasmuch as his leave would be out in about
+three weeks, and away he must march with his
+regiment. So Katharine, one fine afternoon,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span>just gently touched upon the subject of Mr.
+Brown’s good qualities, in a <i lang="fr">tête-à-tête</i> with her
+papa, and led the conversation into a channel
+which she thought very likely to extort an
+opinion from the old gentleman. She was right;—she
+succeeded in her speculation, and heard,
+to her infinite horror and amazement, that he
+would see a daughter of his dead at his feet
+before she should marry what he called a
+“Soger.”</p>
+
+<p>And then forthwith “flared up” the anger
+of the venerable Brag, who, though a really
+plain straightforward man, and as free from
+pride or affectation as any wax and tallow
+chandler within the bills of mortality, became
+absolutely furious at the notion of this dress-maker
+and her brother,—people admitted only
+just to please his daughter’s fancy,—presuming
+and daring, and all <em>that</em>: which fury ended
+in a positive prohibition of any further intercourse
+between the parties; a mandate for which
+was accordingly issued, sanctioned of course by
+Mrs. Brag, who however, in yielding her accordance
+to the decree, could not help thinking
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span>that Anne and her brother were as nice a couple
+of people as ever she had seen in all her born
+days.</p>
+
+<p>It was at this juncture that the friendship of
+Anne for Katharine Brag and her affection for
+George were called into action. It was then
+she contrived meetings for them, to which Kate
+came escorted by John, and George accompanied
+by herself. Up to this period these had
+been matters of course; but when old Brag shut
+his doors against the Browns, and handed his
+daughter over to the care and surveillance of her
+brother John, it became another sort of affair,
+and as John was too happy to bask in Nancy’s
+smiles, he gladly squired his love-sick sister to
+their appointments; and thus matters went on
+for a fortnight or so, when Kitty Brag ran away
+with the young Sergeant, who, having as well as
+his bride attained the years of discretion, procured
+a licence and became man and wife,—a fact
+which came to the knowledge of the respectable
+parents of the bride by her non-appearance at
+breakfast, and a return of “<i lang="la">non est inventa</i>”
+made to a sort of warrant sent after her into
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span>her bed-room, whence she had decamped very
+early indeed in the morning.</p>
+
+<p>From that morning neither Brag the elder
+nor Mrs. Brag had ever seen their child up to
+the period of the commencement of my narrative;
+Mr. Brag, as we know, had been gathered
+to his fathers; and George and his wife were
+still in India.</p>
+
+<p>After the wedding and flight the proscribed
+Anne used to see John, who contrived, unknown
+to the old people, to visit her and her mother
+as usual. This acquaintance was for some time
+continued as the reader may have already discovered;
+its happy termination being only delayed,
+as Brag had himself said, until the death of his
+father should leave him free to act for himself.
+Meanwhile the said father having then but one
+object left upon which to lavish all his paternal
+affection, gave his son counsel and promises
+which led him to aspire, and, as he said, “look
+up,” and so Johnny by degrees became less ardent
+and infinitely more civil towards Miss
+Brown, until by those gentle gradations of coolness
+which fond and anxious hearts can only
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span>justly estimate, she saw him seldom, and heard
+from him rarely. His father’s death occurred,—Brag
+immediately took a higher flight, and
+having furbished himself up by dint of private
+lessons and evening tuition, was ready, when
+he came into possession of the business, to abandon
+the course which his blinded parent had
+pursued, to enable him to cut a figure, and
+became the thing which the reader has already
+seen him to be.</p>
+
+<p>The intelligence which Mrs. Brown had from
+time to time received of George was extremely
+satisfactory; he had been specially noticed by
+Major Mopes, (the military secretary of Sir Cadwallader
+Adamthwaite, the commander-in-chief
+at the presidency,) who had, upon the recommendation
+of the paymaster of the regiment,
+whose clerk he had been, appointed him to a
+similar situation in his office; a step which
+George, who was full of ambition, wrote home
+to say he hoped might lead to better things.</p>
+
+<p>What they might be, Mrs. Brown of Walworth
+did not exactly understand; however, he
+appeared happy, spoke affectionately of his
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span>wife, and looked forward to the next ten or
+fifteen years as likely to bring him home again.
+To Anne, a prospective view of ten or fifteen
+years was but a sad one; the loss of Katharine
+had been to her severe and trying, and
+every month, and every year grew sadder, until
+at last the only consolation left which she
+derived from George’s letters, was lost, and at
+the time she wrote the appeal to John, with
+which the chapter begins, she had not, as she
+says, heard from him for more than two
+years.</p>
+
+<p>Then it was that real sorrow and bitterness
+of heart came over her,—her mother’s illness,
+her brother’s silence, her lover’s falsehood, her
+own destitution,—it was a dreadful combination
+of evils, against which she had to bear up.
+One other blow was only wanting to overwhelm
+her,—and it fell.</p>
+
+<p>There <em>are</em> moments when the most serious
+calamities affect us less than matters which to
+the million may appear of no moment or importance
+whatever; a look, a frown, a smile,
+nothing in themselves, have, when the mind is
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span>wrought up to a certain pitch of excitement,
+a power more dreadful than the gravest evils
+of another day.</p>
+
+<p>I have already said that, after waiting for an
+answer to the letter she wrote to “John,”—on
+her birth-day,—sealed with his seal,—and
+moistened with her tears—(the letter he destroyed
+unread),—she felt the absolute necessity
+of overcoming all scruples, and conquering
+all repugnance to what might be considered the
+solicitation of charity in favour of her mother;
+and accordingly she set forth from
+their humble dwelling, leaving her sinking parent
+in the care of a temporary nurse, to call
+upon a well-known professional man in the
+neighbourhood of Burlington Gardens, of
+whom she had often heard the lady who
+first induced them to take up their abode in
+Walworth (but who now was herself dead)—speak
+in the highest terms. Anne had indeed
+seen him at that lady’s house, and felt that
+that circumstance gave her something like confidence
+to make an appeal to him on behalf
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span>of her sick mother, which she would not have
+felt with regard to a perfect stranger.</p>
+
+<p>Behold then this fair, fond, and affectionate
+daughter on her way—trembling and doubting,
+as she hurried along the crowded streets,—her
+eyes cast down or heedlessly wandering, while
+her thoughts are all concentered on the pillow
+on which her dying mother’s aching head
+was laid; a prayer to Heaven resting on her
+lips, and hope, strengthened and sanctified by
+the silent appeal, glowing in her heart. Just
+as she reaches the neighbourhood of the
+worthy man who is to minister worldly relief
+to her parent’s afflictions, her way is intercepted,—there
+is a crowd—a stoppage,—she is
+rudely pressed upon,—stared at, by an unmeaning
+insolent countenance belonging to a tall,
+tiger-looking, smoke-dried dandy, upon whose
+arm is leaning a short, smart, vulgar-genteel
+companion. The tall fellow continues his gaze
+for a moment; the short fellow, emulating this
+impertinence, and anxious to behold the beauty
+who has attracted his friend’s attention, proceeds
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span>to the manual experiment of pinching
+her arm. The suffering wanderer turns indignantly
+to repel the insult, and sees before
+her, grinning and grimacing, like a baboon,
+that paragon of pretension, Mr. John
+Brag.</p>
+
+<p>At such a moment such a sight was, indeed,
+a trial;—but if it struck daggers into her heart
+thus to be treated by <em>him</em>, who once, and in
+other days, had vowed his vow of love and
+faith to her, what must she have felt, when,
+upon beholding her pallid agitated countenance,
+she saw the fellow wink at his companion,
+and heard him exclaim with the peculiar
+elegance of the school to which he aspired to
+belong, “Ho, ho,—come along, my lord—no
+go—this <em>is</em> a mistake,”—and clutching
+his tall friend’s arm, hurry on, shrugging up
+his shoulders in a sort of mock despair, and
+no doubt giving his own version of the nature
+of the previous acquaintance which had
+evidently subsisted between himself and the
+supposed stranger!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span></p>
+
+<p>Anne stood still for a moment—had she tried
+to move forward, she would have fallen;—her
+breath faltered—the blood seemed to ebb and
+flow in her heart—her eyes swam with tears;—she
+was better,—she continued her way, and
+reached the physician’s door,—it was opened
+to her, and she was shown into a parlour where
+those who came under similar circumstances were
+accustomed to wait:—there it was that her
+feelings had way,—she scarcely had entered,
+before floods of tears poured down her pale
+cheeks, and they who had come for advice and
+assistance themselves, were eager and active in
+her service. As soon as intelligence of the circumstance
+had been conveyed to the master of
+the house, he made his appearance in the apartment,
+and seeing the extent of poor Anne’s agitation,
+caused her to be removed into another
+room, where every attention was paid her which
+the exigency of her case required.</p>
+
+<p>Her agitation, however, appeared to increase,
+and the moment she was sufficiently recovered
+to attempt <span id="TN5">to explain herself</span>, she relapsed into
+a state so painful and alarming, that the excellent
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span>man, satisfied by the circumstances that
+she was laboring under some excitement, any
+attempt to soothe which, upon the instant
+would be perfectly vain and useless, placed
+her in the care of his housekeeper, (for whom he
+dispatched a servant,) with directions to keep
+the young lady perfectly quiet, and endeavour
+to soothe and calm her mind until he
+should return, after having seen those patients
+who were in the habit, at stated hours, of calling
+upon <em>him</em> at his own house.</p>
+
+<p>And while all this was going on, Mr. John
+Brag and his friend Lord Tom Towzle, who,
+as the reader perhaps has anticipated, was
+his companion upon the occasion, and whom
+although he “Tommied” him and “Towzled”
+him in his absence, he “my lorded” in his
+presence to an immeasurable extent of vulgarity,
+not merely to toady the stripling but
+to be overheard by the passing crowd—were,
+as I suspected, engaged in an elaborate detail of
+Jack’s foregone adventures with Anne, which, as
+Lord Tom did not care whether Brag were hanged
+or not, so as he rode his horse “Slap-bang”
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span>to win on the following Thursday, he might
+just as well have saved himself the trouble
+of repeating.</p>
+
+<p>Upon what small things great things turn,
+say ten thousand writers,—so is it proved by
+this adventure of Mr. Brag’s. Worlds would
+not have convinced Anne Brown of his falsehood
+and heartlessness, had this event not occurred;
+they were now proclaimed—established,—practically
+established. His first
+assault might have been mere rudeness,—not
+likely to endear him to one who fancied
+him devoted to her; but when the discovery
+<em>had been</em> made, and he saw whom he had
+outraged, to conduct himself as he had done,
+was enough to decide the question. Thus it is
+that we learn more in an hour from a lecture
+illustrated by experiments, than we can collect
+from written treatises or printed instructions
+in a year. The art, or science, whatever it
+may be, is embodied,—you have it before you,—and
+the very facility with which the professor
+performs his operations, makes the spectator
+himself a proficient.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span></p>
+
+<p>So was it with Anne:—she had seen what
+no book could have taught her, she had witnessed
+<em>that</em> which no other evidence would have
+induced her to believe. The blow was severe,
+but perhaps it was providential.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</span></p>
+
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_V">
+ CHAPTER V.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>Having safely housed our unhappy girl in
+the house of the worthy physician, we may perhaps
+be permitted to cast our eyes towards
+the gay widow and her sensitive sister, who,
+truth to be told, were suffering as much in
+<em>their</em> way as our more humble friend from
+Walworth.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Dallington, whose perception was remarkably
+clear, and whose judgment was particularly
+sound, had for some time been fully
+aware of the state of Sir Charles Lydiard’s
+heart and mind—for his mind and his heart
+were waging a perpetual war with each other;
+nor, however solicitous she might be (I admit
+that supposition merely for argument’s sake) to
+bring their acquaintance to a happy termination,
+did she entirely regret the caution and consideration
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</span>with which, it was so evident, the fastidious
+baronet bent his steps towards the
+hymeneal altar. She felt assured that, if he
+judged her rightly and fairly, she should eventually
+possess his entire affection; and she also
+felt, that to obtain it after such a scrutiny,
+would be to secure it for the rest of her
+life.</p>
+
+<p>It must be allowed that she sometimes
+thought he had considered and examined and
+scrutinized quite long enough, and believed
+that the time had arrived when she should
+have an opportunity of saying yea or nay, as
+the case might be; but, whenever the crisis
+seemed at hand, some new doubt, some new
+apprehension, appeared to be conjured up,
+the bright vision was dissipated, and she remained
+still the expecting, disappointed Mrs.
+Dallington.</p>
+
+<p>Blanche, on the other hand, received a proposal
+from Rushton almost every day in the
+week—if at least the most violent protestations
+of love and devotion might be so construed; but
+the <i lang="fr">brusquerie</i> of his character evinced itself so
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</span>perpetually, that the chances were, that the evening
+of the brightest day ended in a storm. Blanche
+was quite aware of the disposition she had to
+deal with; and although flurried and fluttered
+by her lover’s extraordinary animation and vivacity,
+she resolved not to surrender her hand,
+whatever might be the fate of her heart, until
+she was convinced that her hero was calmed
+into a fit state for domestication. In point of
+fact, Rushton was quite as jealous of Blanche
+as Lydiard was of her sister; but his jealousy
+was of a different caste: he smiled, frowned,
+laughed, scolded, and did ten thousand unaccountable
+things, just as he was acted upon
+by passing events, while Lydiard never suffered
+himself to be betrayed into any external
+evidence of what occupied his mind: and
+thus the pair of lovers continued to make themselves
+as uncomfortable as they made those,
+whom upon all essential points were devotedly
+their own.</p>
+
+<p>Affairs were in this delicate position when
+Brag, who was encouraged in all his absurdities
+by his noble friend Lord Tom, partly to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</span>gratify his vanity, and so secure his aid, if required,
+upon emergencies, and partly to afford
+sport to his lordship’s friends, opened his heart
+in a kind of hypothetical way to the young
+lord with regard to the widow and her sister,
+to which train of thought he had been led by
+the conversation he had previously had with
+Rushton in the street.</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t see,” said Jack, “why—I—shouldn’t
+do as well as my neighbours, in the
+matrimonial line. I look on, at others who play
+at courting with wonder; they seem to me to
+make no move. Now there’s Sir Charles Lydiard
+and the widow—they don’t care a fig for
+each other, and yet they are to be married, as
+the world says. As for Blanche, she seems to
+me to care as little for Rushton. Why, hang it!
+if I wanted to marry either of them, it would
+not be a week’s work. No, no!—faint heart—eh!
+you know. I’d just make either of them
+buckle to, in half the time, and no mistake.”</p>
+
+<p>“Have you ever thought of such a thing,
+Jack?” said Lord Tom, who, piqued by the
+coldness with which the widow had always
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</span>received him, felt by no means ill-disposed to
+encourage his tiger in any scheme likely to
+make a commotion in the family.</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Jack, “I can’t say that I
+have; but I—of course, I dare say it means no
+more than what I always meet with—but I
+<em>have</em> thought that there was something uncommon
+odd about the widow’s eyes.”</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed!” said Lord Tom,—“and very
+handsome eyes they are too: besides, Jack,
+she is rich, and what they call in the city
+‘well to do.’”</p>
+
+<p>“Mum!” said Jack—“know her fortune to
+a fraction: didn’t overlook that in the calculation.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said his lordship—“then you <em>have</em>
+been thinking rather seriously upon the subject.”</p>
+
+<p>“Not seriously,” replied the tiger, “only I
+was considering that Sir Charles is what I call
+losing time—waiting upon her too long, as we
+should say at Epsom. It would be a good
+match,—not that I care for money—no more
+than my father did. Did I ever tell you of
+my governor and his hundred-pound note?”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Not that I recollect,” said his lordship,
+although he did.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, <em>my</em> father,” said Jack, “was one day
+walking along the Strand, when, just as he came
+by the end of Buckingham Street, a fellow
+picked his pocket of his pocket-book, full of
+memorandums, letters, and other papers, “of no
+use but to the owner,” and a hundred pound
+note besides. What d’ye think he did, as soon
+as he found out his loss?”</p>
+
+<p>“Went to Bow Street, perhaps,” said Lord
+Tom.</p>
+
+<p>“No.”</p>
+
+<p>“Stepped to the Bank and stopped it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Couldn’t—didn’t know the number.”</p>
+
+<p>“Caught the thief, then.”</p>
+
+<p>“No,” said Jack, “not a bit of it. The
+minute he found he had lost it, he went home
+and got another.”</p>
+
+<p>“In order to have it stolen like the former,”
+said Lord Tom.</p>
+
+<p>“Not a bit of it,” replied Jack; “just to show
+how little he cared about money. So with <em>me</em>;
+I don’t care for money, except as it buys money’s
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</span>worth. What’s a guinea in a box?—not
+better than a brass button in a bag. But still
+one cannot marry without the stumpy.”</p>
+
+<p>“Then try the widow,” said Lord Tom;
+“you have my full permission—only don’t quote
+me as authority. You will drive Sir Charles
+either into a proposal or the Serpentine river;
+so at all events something will come of it.”</p>
+
+<p>“But, my lord,” said Jack, “since we <em>have</em>
+touched upon this matter, I will be candid.
+I have just said I don’t value money; but, if it
+weren’t for the fortune, I would rather marry
+the sister.”</p>
+
+<p>“And has <em>she</em> been kind too,” said Lord
+Tom.</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Jack, simpering, and affecting
+to look modest, “I can’t say kind—uncommon
+goodnatured—and—laughs—and all that: and
+I have heard a long-headed old fellow, who
+knows the sex, say, that if you can once make
+a grave female laugh, the day is your own.”</p>
+
+<p>“Provided always,” said his lordship, “that
+she laughs <em>with</em> and not <em>at</em> you; the difference
+is surprisingly great.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Oh! Blanche is no ways whatsoever satirical,”
+said the tallow chandler:—“and, hang
+me! if I was asked, I should say there wasn’t
+a pin to choose between them.”</p>
+
+<p>“Take my advice, Jack,” said the mischievous
+lordling—“try them both. Manage your
+matters well—lead them both on—there is no
+chance of their confiding in each other, because
+as they are both supposed to be engaged, neither
+would choose to trust the other with any
+proof of her infidelity.”</p>
+
+<p>“Shall I write to the widow,” said Jack,
+“and talk to the sister”—</p>
+
+<p>“Write, man! are you mad?” said Lord
+Tom. “Never write—that <em>would</em> be a pretty
+affair. Who knows how notes may miscarry—how
+writing-desks may be left open, or if not,
+be broken open? Besides, they might, upon
+so strange a proceeding as that, compare notes,
+and what a pretty mess you would be in then!
+No; sound them—try them—get them apart,
+and ascertain the extent of their interest in you.”</p>
+
+<p>Brag listened to all this advice of his noble
+friend, believing it to be given <i lang="fr">de bonne foi</i>; and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</span>although there appeared difficulties in the delicate
+process which his lordship suggested, and
+which, by a mind like Brag’s, were not perfectly
+easy to be surmounted, he thought he comprehended
+the general tenor of his instructions,
+which had for its object his making himself
+uncommonly agreeable to both parties.</p>
+
+<p>“Lead Blanche on,” said Lord Tom, “by a
+course of negative officiousness; be always near
+her, devoted and unaffected. Let her fall into
+friendship; sympathize with her in all her feelings,
+agree in all her opinions—but never seem to
+do so with any defined object: thus in a fortnight
+or three weeks you will obtain her confidence.
+She will be convinced you esteem her and value
+her, and are anxious for her comfort and happiness;
+then she’ll grow kind and familiar,
+and, thrown off her guard by your respectful
+behaviour, will begin to evince an undisguised
+wish for your society. She will at last feel
+that you are somehow, she can scarcely tell how,
+essential to her happiness, and when you have
+got her into this blessed state of amiability, off
+with your disguise of friendship, like the hero
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</span>of a tragedy, and profess yourself her lover.
+Then”—</p>
+
+<p>“Ay, ay,” interrupted Jack, “that’s all
+very well, my dear lord, and a very pretty
+month’s amusement it would be, to do all you
+prescribe: but, then, what will Frank Rushton
+be about to let me? He’s as fiery as a dragon,
+and as jealous as old Nick. No, no, whatever
+is done, must be done clean, off-hand, smack
+smooth, and no mistake.”</p>
+
+<p>“Then,” said Lord Tom, “if that’s your
+principle, you had better take a shot at the
+widow; she’s not so likely to be flurried by a
+hurry; and, besides, your activity will form
+such a striking contrast to the respectable icicle
+now hanging about her, that you will in all probability
+carry the day by a <i lang="fr">coup de main</i>.”</p>
+
+<p>“Just after my own heart,” said Jack; “by
+Job! I’ll have a shy at her.”</p>
+
+<p>“Do,” said his lordship, “and when you
+are installed in the town-house and family mansion
+in the west or north, or wherever it is,
+make yourself agreeable; fill your house with
+your friends, and let us be jolly.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</span></p>
+
+<p>“We’ll live like fighting cocks,” said Jack,
+“you only just see. I’ll do it regular; there
+sha’nt be a fellow in the king’s dominions who
+shall beat me.”</p>
+
+<p>“Success attend you, Jack!” said his lordship,
+“but don’t forget Thursday.”</p>
+
+<p>“I’ll be punctual to the minute,” said Jack;
+“my watch is a regular-built chronometer. You
+shall find me at the starting-post, all right, and
+no mistake.”</p>
+
+<p>And so the friends parted, Brag having not
+the slightest intention of ever risking a second
+visit to Wrigglesford, or a second attempt to
+trespass on the surly farmer’s grounds, who had
+threatened him for his former proceeding; and
+moreover being resolved to devote the next
+few days to the achievement of one of the beauties,
+of both of whom he was convinced, in his
+small mind, he was a regularly established
+favourite.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile we must not forget poor Anne
+Brown, whom we left under the care of the
+physician’s housekeeper, and who, when she
+recovered from the agitation which kept her
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</span>senseless for some hours, found herself with her
+head reclining upon the arm of that highly
+respectable functionary.</p>
+
+<p>It would require a much greater space than
+I am permitted in this hasty narrative, to describe
+the excellent qualities of Dr. Mead, the
+eminent and able practitioner to whom the
+anxious daughter had prevailed upon herself
+to apply for advice and assistance; but it is
+absolutely necessary that the reader should be
+made acquainted to a certain extent with the
+attributes of his character, even beyond the
+pale of his profession, the exercise of which
+seemed rather the fruit of a desire to do good
+to others, than of any venal feeling of self-aggrandizement.</p>
+
+<p>Although there exists no documentary evidence
+to prove his descent from the eminent
+physician of the same name, it seems not entirely
+improbable that the fortuitous circumstance
+of a similarity of patronymic and profession
+might have conduced almost unconsciously to a
+similarity of feeling and disposition between
+them. Matthew Mead, the father of the famous
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</span>doctor, was a nonconforming divine: our Dr.
+Mead’s father was an orthodox clergyman. If
+the famous Mead married early, our Mead was
+yet single; and whatever turn he might have had
+for the fine arts, or whatever veneration he entertained
+for their professors, his means, although
+fully adequate to the maintenance of a highly
+respectable establishment and equipage, were
+not yet sufficiently extensive to emulate his
+namesake as a patron or protector. Still, his
+income might have been much larger, had he
+not upon every occasion where, by a benevolent
+curiosity, he discovered the slenderness of
+a patient’s means, forborne to accept the fees
+which from the rich and great he did not hesitate
+to accept, and which his spreading fame
+and rising reputation produced in very considerable
+numbers.</p>
+
+<p>In his manners mild and soothing, in his conversation
+unaffected and intelligent, his study
+appeared to be to “minister to the mind diseased,”
+as well as to the body; and his approach
+to the sick chamber was hailed by the
+watchful invalid rather as a relief from pain
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</span>and suffering in itself, than as the mere business
+visit of a professional man, coming in the
+ordinary routine of duty to enquire and prescribe.</p>
+
+<p>With feelings and a disposition like this,
+the benevolence of his heart beaming in his
+countenance, and the sympathy which he felt
+for sorrow and sadness expressed in language
+the most gentle and in a tone the most harmonious,
+it is not surprising that Dr. Mead should
+have speedily reassured poor Anne, to whom,
+as soon as she was sufficiently recovered to be
+conscious of her situation, he was summoned
+by the housekeeper, and whom he was greatly
+surprised, upon inquiry, to find not a patient,
+but merely the emissary from one who sought
+his advice.</p>
+
+<p>It was in a moment evident to his searching
+eye, that the agitation under which she
+had been suffering, and from which she was
+not yet quite recovered, must have had its origin
+in some more sudden event, and one of
+more recent occurrence than the illness of her
+mother: he resolved to question her upon the
+point; but a recurrence of all the worst symptoms
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</span>induced him to forego any further search
+into a matter, in fact, disconnected with the
+object of her visit to his house.</p>
+
+<p>That object was immediately attained. The
+excellent man ordered his carriage to be got
+ready instantly, and directed the housekeeper,
+who had been in attendance on Anne, to accompany
+her to her mother’s house, and to return
+home with the carriage, telling her that he
+would himself, having called upon one or two
+patients in his immediate neighbourhood on foot,
+proceed to visit his new patient at a later hour;
+giving as a reason for this proceeding the absolute
+necessity of his seeing those persons before
+his departure for Walworth, and the probable
+anxiety of Mrs. Brown for the safety of her
+daughter, if she should delay her return until
+he should be able to accompany her.</p>
+
+<p>To some practitioners, this delicacy on the
+part of our doctor might appear somewhat too
+refined, the obvious mode of proceeding being,
+to have handed the young lady into the carriage,
+and driven with her to her mother’s residence;
+but Mead felt otherwise. He had odd
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</span>notions upon many points; and beyond what
+he considered the main object of this arrangement,
+the fact, that an entirely unexpected
+visit from a stranger might not altogether suit
+the convenience of an establishment so confined
+as that of Mrs. Brown’s, did not slip his
+regard or consideration.</p>
+
+<p>When Anne reached home, she had a hard
+part to play. The anxiety she felt for her mother;
+the pang she received when she saw the
+sunken eye of her beloved parent fixed—not
+tearless—on her returned child, filled with a
+half-sanguine, half-hopeless expression, and
+heard her breathing heavily, made her heart
+ache to its very centre. Filled with gratitude to
+their expected benefactor, she endeavoured to
+explain to her suffering mother the extent of
+his kindness and consideration, while the recollection
+of the callous barbarity of the man she
+had once loved, and whom she believed to have
+loved <em>her</em>, wrung her to the very soul.</p>
+
+<p>That she was indignant at the treatment she
+had experienced, who shall doubt?—but who,
+that knows woman, will doubt either that in the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</span>heart where Love has once dwelt, the very memory
+of his presence there, will extenuate the
+fault which should make the object hateful.</p>
+
+<p>This generous, gentle feeling turned all the
+force of the indignation which ought to have been
+directed against the paltry pretender himself,
+towards his associates, to whose baleful influence
+Anne entirely attributed the astounding change
+which had taken place in his manners. Even
+the neglect of her letter was laid to the same
+account; but yet what made the wound he had
+inflicted rankle the more, was the impossibility
+at the present juncture of risking her mother’s
+tranquillity—perhaps existence, by telling her
+what had occurred, or of accounting for her
+lengthened absence by explaining the cause of
+the indisposition to which it was attributable.</p>
+
+<p>In less than two hours after Anne’s return
+the doctor, true to his promise, arrived. It
+is scarcely possible to describe her feelings as
+he entered the room where her mother lay; it
+seemed as if Hope had revived in her breast—that
+there was somebody who felt an interest
+for them. She drew back from the bed-side,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</span>and hid her face in her hands to conceal her
+emotion: she cried like a child, and tears again
+were a relief to her aching heart.</p>
+
+<p>The kind doctor’s questions to Mrs. Brown
+were few: the case needed little enquiry—it
+was a sinking of nature, caused, as it seemed to
+him, less by bodily ills than mental affliction,
+and considerably accelerated by the want of proper
+air, and, he almost feared, nourishment. He
+wrote a prescription, rather however as a matter
+of form, satisfactory to the patient, than with
+any view of the success of medicine, and then,
+having taken leave of his patient, beckoned
+Anne to follow him from the apartment.</p>
+
+<p>“Your mother must be removed as soon as
+she can bear the fatigue,” said the doctor.
+“Change of air and diet are absolutely necessary.”</p>
+
+<p>Anne heard the fiat in silence, and again
+tears rolled down her cheeks.</p>
+
+<p>“I should think,” continued Dr. Mead,
+“that with care and a proper regimen the
+removal might be effected in four or five days.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</span></p>
+
+<p>Still Anne remained silent and trembling,
+her eyes cast down upon the ground.</p>
+
+<p>“You should contrive to amuse her mind,”
+said the doctor; “she should not refuse to see
+her friends.”</p>
+
+<p>“God help us!” sobbed Anne, unable longer
+to conceal her agitation,—“we have no friends!
+What is to be done, Heaven knows! She
+must be moved; your kind directions shall be
+obeyed, sir;—I”—</p>
+
+<p>“My dear young lady,” said Mead, “you
+wrong yourself, and <em>me</em>, when you say you have
+no friends. In <em>me</em> you have a friend. Rely on
+Providence, and never despair:—friends will
+always be raised up for confiding piety, for suffering
+virtue, and for filial duty in distress. I
+will not indelicately press my enquiries, but you
+must permit me to act upon my own advice.
+<em>I</em> am the friend your mother must admit. I
+will call here to-morrow; and I think, without
+putting either of you to much inconvenience, I
+can secure you a comfortable residence in a
+worthy and respectable family, in a desirable
+climate. <em>I</em> must manage all this; and
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</span>perhaps I may be able, at no distant period, to
+give you and your mother a good reason why
+she need not feel herself under any serious
+obligation to me:—upon this point I will not
+trouble you to-day,—you have had worry
+and agitation enough. Keep yourself calm and
+quiet; cheer your mother’s hopes—there is no
+fear of a dangerous result; upon that point I
+will stake my reputation. Let her have the
+medicine I have written for, and to-morrow, by
+one, I shall see you again.”</p>
+
+<p>Saying which, he shook hands with the
+grateful Anne, and proceeded to his carriage.</p>
+
+<p>At no period of our lives does kindness so
+powerfully affect us as when it comes immediately
+after we have received some cruel blow.
+The affectionate tone and spirit of the doctor’s
+consolatory address struck to Anne’s heart, and
+she returned to her mother, blessing God who
+had raised up such a help to them in the
+hour of gloom and adversity.</p>
+
+<p>The doctor’s benevolence did not stop here,
+even for the day. In the evening, whilst Anne
+was preparing the best refreshment she could
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</span>contrive to procure with but slender means of
+purchase and small skill in cookery, the housekeeper
+of the excellent doctor arrived, bringing
+with her, sundry little delicacies, and some wine
+which her master “had taken the liberty of sending,
+because by experience he knew its soundness
+and excellence of quality, and was therefore
+sure it would be serviceable to his patient
+in her particular case;” in short, every comfort
+was secured to her that sympathy could suggest
+or art provide; and, as Anne herself said,
+the very feelings which such attentions inspired,
+contributed of themselves materially to exhilarate
+and revive her poor mother, whose bodily
+ailments, as Mead had surmised, were painfully
+aggravated by mental depression.</p>
+
+<p>And yet, grateful to Providence as Anne
+was, with a heart overflowing with thankfulness
+to the generous, noble-minded man who in
+a few hours had converted a house of mourning
+into a house of hope, if not of happiness,—when
+she laid her head upon the pillow near
+her mother, who slept tranquilly, her first
+thoughts were of that unworthy being by whom
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</span>she had been first insulted and then repudiated
+even as a common acquaintance, in the street
+that morning.</p>
+
+<p>It seemed like a dream to her even then.
+Prepared as she must have been, and indeed had
+told him she was, eternally to resign any claim
+of a tender nature upon his heart, she could
+not bear the thought of being spurned by the
+man for whom she had permitted herself not
+only to feel, but admit that she felt, an affection.
+That she had not deserved such
+usage was self-evident, and that she should
+receive it particularly after her last appeal, was
+galling and distracting beyond endurance. Little
+did she think how perfectly disconnected
+with that appeal his conduct was, or suspect
+how he had treated her last letter.</p>
+
+<p>These thoughts, and those of early days,
+were naturally blended in her mind with the
+memory of her brother George, whose long
+silence was another source of anxiety and agitation;
+nor could she forget, besides the tenderer
+ties to John, the closeness of their connexion
+by George’s marriage. If George had
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</span>been at home, thought Anne, he would not have
+behaved so—but George too has forgotten us.
+All those who once were dear to us, and we to
+them, are gone! and we are helped and comforted
+by the stranger upon whom we have no
+claim, and who has no tie to us but his own
+benevolence.</p>
+
+<p>In the morning, Mrs. Brown awoke after a
+refreshing sleep, very much better than even
+her watchful daughter could have hoped. It
+was but too evident that the physician had
+rightly decided on the character of her complaint,
+and the absolute necessity of a change
+of regimen in the first instance, to be followed
+up by a removal from the close atmosphere of
+a small room in a gas-lighted suburban village
+to a purer air. Indeed, so very much better
+did her mother appear, that Anne repeated to
+her the verbal prescription of the doctor, adding
+the proposal he had made of providing
+them with a comfortable residence in a family
+known to himself.</p>
+
+<p>For three days did Dr. Mead continue his
+visits punctually, bringing with him upon each
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</span>occasion some little luxury prepared for use,
+under the plea that he was most anxious his
+patient’s food should be dressed according to
+rule, and that he could not be satisfied unless
+his own servants were the operators, under his
+own immediate direction. At the expiration of
+a week he pronounced her capable of bearing
+the fatigue of removal; and on the following
+Saturday evening Mrs. Brown and her daughter
+found themselves established in a delightful
+cottage surrounded by gardens and fields, within
+four miles of town, the master and mistress of
+which appeared the devoted servants of the worthy
+doctor, and vied with each other in showing
+attention and courtesy to their new inmates.</p>
+
+<p>With returning health, there arose in Mrs.
+Brown’s mind an irresistible feeling of embarrassment
+connected with her present situation.
+She found herself and her daughter placed in
+a position of ease and comfort, with the consciousness
+hanging over her that she was incapable
+of affording the luxuries which she was
+enjoying, and a sensitive unwillingness either to
+trespass upon the kindness of their benefactor,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</span>or if that kindness were merely limited to the
+recommendation of their new residence, equally
+anxious not to involve herself in expenses which
+she was aware that she could not defray.</p>
+
+<p>The doctor’s hours of visiting his patient
+were different from those which he had fixed
+before their removal. He came in the evenings,
+partook of their tea, and sat longer and
+stayed later each evening that he came—and so
+a week wore away—and yet Mrs. Brown had
+not the courage to put those questions which she
+had resolved somehow to ask, and to which her
+medical friend’s conduct certainly did not appear
+likely to afford any practical solution; for
+when he congratulated her upon the improvement
+of her health, he alluded to a trial of
+some new medicine, about the effects of which
+upon her constitution he was very sanguine,
+and which he should begin with, in “a week or
+two.”</p>
+
+<p>The words had scarce passed his lips, when
+the eyes of mother and daughter met, not unseen
+by the doctor, who immediately added to
+what he had already said:—“Perhaps you
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</span>may be of opinion that in that time you will
+have no need of any medicine at all.”</p>
+
+<p>This seemed to be an occasion which Mrs.
+Brown might seize, of coming to an explanation
+of her feelings, and she availed herself
+of it accordingly; and, difficult as was the
+task to perform, she contrived to make the
+doctor understand the delicacy of her position,
+and the apprehensions under which she
+laboured.</p>
+
+<p>“My dear madam,” said Mead, “I am delighted
+that you have given me an opportunity
+of speaking upon this matter. As the worthy
+people of this house can tell you, or may perhaps
+have told you, you are not the first patient
+I have recommended to their care; and that
+when such an event happens, I consider them
+my guests during their residence here. In <em>your</em>
+case, however, there are circumstances very different
+from those which occur in many others,
+as far as I am concerned:—you have, naturally
+enough, forgotten <em>me</em>; but we have met before
+the occasion upon which I recently visited
+you.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Indeed!” said the lady, somewhat incredulously.</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed,” replied the physician, “I have
+dined in your house, madam, more than once.
+I was not aware of this fact when first I called
+on you, but circumstances and coincidences
+led me to institute an enquiry, and I found in
+<em>you</em>, madam, the widow of the man to whom I
+may, without exaggeration, attribute my success
+in life, and the place I now hold in society
+and my profession.”</p>
+
+<p>“You surprise me exceedingly,” said Mrs.
+Brown.</p>
+
+<p>“It is now more than four-and-twenty years
+since,” said Dr. Mead, “that I was recommended
+to the notice of Mr. Brown by a friend
+of his and a connexion of mine, then living at
+Bristol; and upon my arrival in London I was,
+in consequence of that introduction, invited to
+your house, where, as I have already said, I
+dined more than once. But it was not by
+mere commonplace hospitality that Mr. Brown
+proved the warmth and sincerity of his feelings
+towards me. Upon one occasion, when an opportunity
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</span>presented itself—in all human probability
+the deciding opportunity of my life
+for furthering my professional views—a sum
+of money was necessary to the accomplishment
+of my wishes, of which I was not possessed.
+Had not Mr. Brown at that time generously
+assisted me, I must have relinquished the object
+I had in view, the realization of which,
+proved, as I have already said, the foundation
+of my fortunes. I have now, I think, said sufficient
+to overcome all your scruples with regard
+to my present conduct; and I only rejoice
+that the opportunity is afforded me of proving
+to you and this dear young lady, that there is
+still in the world such a sentiment as Gratitude.”</p>
+
+<p>“This is most extraordinary!” said Anne.</p>
+
+<p>“For several years,” continued Dr. Mead,
+“after my return from the Continent, I endeavoured
+to find out the widow of my benefactor,
+but without success, and I look upon
+that as one of the most fortunate hours of my
+life in which the suffering daughter of my
+first friend came to require my assistance, attracted
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</span>to me by a reputation which her father
+had so materially contributed to establish.
+Now,” added he, “you may look on me with
+feelings far different from those which have
+hitherto occupied your hearts and minds:—in
+me you see only the <i lang="fr">protegé</i> endeavouring as
+much as in his power lies, to evince his thankfulness
+where it is so justly due.”</p>
+
+<p>“What are we to say to you?” said the
+agitated parent.</p>
+
+<p>“Nothing, nothing,” interrupted Mead.
+“Permit me to continue my visits, now, luckily
+not rendered professionally necessary. Let
+me entreat you to remain where you are, and
+allow me, whenever I can, to come hither and
+enjoy in your society, and that of your exemplary
+daughter, a repose after the hurries and
+worries of a London life, which I have long
+but vainly sought.”</p>
+
+<p>Nobody can doubt what, under the circumstances,
+was the course Mrs. Brown pursued,
+although, it must be confessed, that she even
+then, had her doubts as to the truth of the doctor’s
+narrative; regarding the statement of his
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</span>obligations to her husband, and his consequent
+success in life, rather as the fruits of an inventive
+faculty, exerted in order to overcome her
+scruples and satisfy her delicacy, than as a
+matter-of-fact bit of history.</p>
+
+<p>Of herself, she had not the slightest recollection
+of the name of her new old friend in the
+catalogue of visiters at her house; nor could she
+recall to her mind the personal appearance of
+any guest at her husband’s hospitable board
+which bore a resemblance to the doctor. A
+quarter of a century had elapsed, and the tallow-faced
+pupil of the hospitals had grown into
+the mellow-tinted arbiter of the mortal destinies
+of men; and if the doctor had been sufficiently
+ungallant (which doctors never are) to have
+made an ample confession on <em>his</em> part, it is
+quite certain he must have said, that he found
+not in the sinking widow whom he had restored,
+any remains of the charms and attractions which
+had in his early days characterized the gay
+and dashing wife.</p>
+
+<p>Poor Brown however had, in the zenith of his
+career, been as hospitable as a Madeira merchant,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</span>and was wont to welcome to his table
+men of all trades and nations, all callings and
+professions. He held it to be part of his business
+to cement connexions by social intercourse,
+and therefore while he kept in fact, open house,
+it was morally impossible for his lady, who was
+not much interested in the casual guests “below
+the salt,” to recollect all their names or
+persons. Still she could hardly divest herself of
+the idea that the doctor’s history was a soothing
+fiction; although her daughter, whose opinion
+of the said doctor was somehow more
+favourable than that of her parent, declared her
+conviction that he was much too honourable,
+too candid, and too sincere, to endeavour to
+carry even a favourite point by deception or
+misrepresentation.</p>
+
+<p>How this paragon of physicians turned out
+in the wearing, we may perhaps live to see.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</span></p>
+
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VI">
+ CHAPTER VI.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>It was a short time after this, that Mr. Brag
+was called upon to perform a feat for the amusement
+of his aristocratic friends, which, however
+powerful the effect it actually did produce, terminated
+in a manner less agreeable to the actor
+than the audience.</p>
+
+<p>Upon our hero’s arrival one day at the lodgings
+of Lord Tom Towzle, he found his lordship
+and two other worthies concocting an answer to
+a matrimonial advertisement which had appeared
+in the columns of that most fashionable of all
+journals, The Morning Post; and Jack’s appearance
+to take his seat in such a council was
+hailed with enthusiasm;—in fact, he was the
+very man to undertake the conduct of the whole
+affair.</p>
+
+<p>The advertisement ran thus:—</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</span></p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>“<span class="smcap">Matrimony.</span>—A widow lady, in good circumstances
+and of high respectability, being,
+from causes which she will be most happy to
+explain, left much alone, is desirous of again
+entering the married state, provided she could
+find a gentleman of honour and character who
+might feel a similar wish. The advertiser is
+aware that an address of this nature is unusual,
+and may therefore create a prejudice against
+her in the minds of some; she is, however, confident,
+that upon investigation her conduct will
+be shown to be perfectly justifiable. Letters,
+post-paid, <span id="TN6">directed to A. Z.</span>, to be left at the
+Twopenny Post-office the corner of Little Queen
+Street, Holborn, will be attended to: but as it
+is not the intention of the advertiser to gratify
+idle curiosity, no farther particulars will be
+entered into, until after an interview between
+the parties.”</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>“This is capital!” said Lord Tom. “We
+have seen hundreds of men advertising for
+wives, but the lady being the applicant is something
+new. However, she is evidently no fool;
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</span>she is determined to see her man before she explains
+herself. You, my dear Brag, must be the
+recipient of her wishes and sorrows. We have
+just concluded a reply, fixing a meeting upon
+Waterloo Bridge, a locality chosen in preference
+to any of the Parks, squares, or gardens,
+on account of its solitude,—a quality which has
+reduced it as a speculation to worse than <i lang="la">nil</i>,
+which, considering it is one of the most splendid
+ornaments of the metropolis, is most deeply
+to be regretted.”</p>
+
+<p>Jack was delighted at being fixed upon to
+talk over the fair advertiser; his self-acknowledged
+invincibility was admitted. It was his
+particular <i lang="it">forte</i>—and it was speedily arranged
+that his three companions should remain at a
+convenient distance until the parley should
+have proceeded to a certain extent, when they
+were <em>manfully</em> to avow themselves confederates
+in the scheme, and eventually drive the rash
+damsel “fainting from the ground.”</p>
+
+<p>It must be confessed that the system of mate-hunting
+through the medium of the newspapers,
+is one which not unnaturally subjects
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</span>its practitioners to the assaults of the mischievous
+and merciless. Whether any of the
+negociations, of which such notices are the precursors,
+terminate satisfactorily,—that is to
+say, in the union of the parties—it is impossible
+to say; but it does seem, for people who
+have eyes and ears and hands and tongues,
+the strangest possible course of proceeding.</p>
+
+<p>Jack, who in all his antics kept his eye upon
+the main chance, was by no means the less
+inclined to the performance of this hoax upon
+the defenceless innocence of the yet unknown
+fair-one, by a notion which flashed into his mind,
+that it might turn out that she really was
+handsome and rich: a notion which, to be sure,
+was rather romantic, inasmuch as it would appear
+that a lady possessing those qualifications—or
+even one, provided it were the latter—need
+not have had recourse to a public proclamation
+of her wish for a husband. Something, however
+might come of it: it was the opening of
+a new field for the exertion of his talents, and
+the display would, he felt certain, place him a
+step or two higher in the estimation of his
+noble sporting friends.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</span></p>
+
+<p>The letter, addressed as desired, was despatched,
+the postage paid, the day and hour
+were fixed, and the party separated to meet
+a few minutes previous to the rencontre, and
+arrange their forces, as has already been described;
+three forming a corps of observation,
+while Brag was performing his light-infantry
+evolutions in advance.</p>
+
+<p>It must be quite clear to the reader, that
+upon such an occasion Jack took the greatest
+possible pains to make himself what he called
+“the thing;” every fold of his coloured neck-handkerchief
+was laid with the most anxious
+nicety of form and tint, every curl was crisped
+into its own peculiar place, and the whole of his
+costume made to look like that of “a genteel
+comedy” playhouse beau, which, as he believed,
+must be irresistible in a widow’s eyes.</p>
+
+<p>At length the wished-for day and hour arrived.
+Lord Tom Towzle and his two friends
+were joined by Brag at the corner of Pall Mall,
+and proceeded to the scene of action, where
+they took up their stations a few minutes before
+two—two being the appointed time for the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</span>meeting—and having separated according to
+the programme, Mr. John Brag commenced his
+amatory promenade on one side of the bridge,
+while his expectant companions occupied the
+other, but at a considerable distance from him.</p>
+
+<p>It was a pleasing thing to see our hero settling
+himself and pulling up his shirt collar, then
+drawing on his glove, then twirling a little switch-like
+stick which he carried, and then using it in
+whipping his own boots, shining with a lustre
+which Day and Martin might have envied. He
+had scarcely finished one turn when the London
+clocks began striking two, which at different
+periods they continued to do, for nearly five
+minutes, that of St. Paul’s booming through
+the air about midway between the subordinates.—Another
+turn had been taken, and no
+fair one was in sight:—a small girl in trousers,
+with her hair platted into two long tails with
+bows at their ends, and a bustle, approached—she
+was evidently no widow; she passed
+on; Jack tried the eloquence of his eyes
+upon <em>her</em>;—then came a tall, gaunt woman,
+with a poodle dog. Jack looked at <em>her</em>, but she
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</span>made no sign. At last there appeared a fine
+portly-looking dame, dressed in a coquelicot
+bonnet, topped up with white and green feathers,
+a lavender-coloured pelisse, and buff-coloured
+boots. The friends in the distance were convinced
+that this was <em>the</em> person. She looked
+behind her and before her, and first on one
+side, and then on the other, and proceeded at a
+steady pace. She drew a full-sized, white-faced
+watch from her bosom, and gazed upon
+its dial, and then tossed her well-plumed head
+with an air of impatience and surprise at the
+non-appearance of her summoner.</p>
+
+<p>John Brag, Esq. beheld the vision, and if
+he had seen all the dæmons of the Hartz Forest
+pemmican’d into one plump lady, he could
+not have felt more horror and dismay. By
+what fatal accident, what evil coincidence, it
+should so have occurred, he could not imagine;—the
+extensive being before him, and now fast
+approaching, was neither more nor less than
+his respectable mother.</p>
+
+<p>What the deuce could have brought her so
+far from home, and so wonderfully fine in her
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</span>dress, Jack could not imagine; the question
+was, what was to be done? If he advanced,
+another minute would bring him in contact, and
+into conversation, with his parent; if he retreated,
+he must fall back upon his friends, and she
+would inevitably follow and accost <em>him</em>. The
+brightness of his genius came to his aid in this
+unexpected dilemma—he resolved instantly to
+join her, turn round with her, and fall into the
+dialogue which he saw must take place, and
+make his companions believe that his companion
+was the real object of their expedition, the
+advertising lady.</p>
+
+<p>This scheme possessed many advantages, for
+the very circumstance of his relationship to his
+companion would afford him an opportunity of
+exhibiting the ease and familiarity of his manner
+while talking to the supposed advertiser,
+which would convince his companions that he
+was proceeding most successfully in his career;
+during which period he hoped to set his beloved
+mother on her way on the other side of the
+water before they could come up to enact <em>their</em>
+part of laughing at the victim, which it was
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</span>settled they were not to do, until Brag should
+give a signal that the moment for explosion
+had arrived.</p>
+
+<p>The ingenious performer, however, had reckoned
+without his host. When he and his mother
+met, the expression of her countenance was
+anything but agreeable: she seemed, in fact, as
+much mortified and annoyed by <em>his</em> appearance
+as he had been by <em>hers</em>: and with all his desire
+to keep good friends with her, and wheedle
+her away as soon as possible, he could not disguise
+the anxiety with which he watched the
+approach of the fair husband-hunter, upon
+whom, so long as his parent remained where
+she was, he could not of course play his
+tricks.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, John,” said the lady, “who would
+have thought that we should have met here
+to-day? I’m sure I don’t know how long it is
+since I’ve set eyes upon you.”</p>
+
+<p>“I have been a good deal out of town,” said
+Brag, acting (for effect with his friends) in
+the most civil and obsequious manner.</p>
+
+<p>“What,” said Mrs. Brag, “at your little
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</span>place in Surrey. I suppose you are coming
+from it now—eh, Johnny?”</p>
+
+<p>“No, not exactly,” said Jack. “May I ask
+where you are going?”</p>
+
+<p>“Nowhere particular,” replied the lady.
+“Don’t let me keep <em>you</em>. I am only out to
+make a call. I can go without <em>you</em>.”</p>
+
+<p>“I will just see you to the gate,” said Jack,
+carefully abstaining from any gesture or movement
+which could in the slightest degree resemble
+the appointed signal for the co-operation of
+his friends.</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t mind <em>me</em>, John,” said his mother; “it
+is so nice and airy up here, that I think I shall
+take a turn or two on the bridge before I go.”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear mother,” said Brag, “you’ll
+catch your death of cold. Let me persuade
+you to get off as soon as you possibly can.”</p>
+
+<p>“I like air,” said Mrs. Brag; “so you go
+your way. Who are those men standing out
+there? Do you know them?”</p>
+
+<p>“Those men!” said Brag—“what, those
+three men there?—no—I know nothing about
+them.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Well then, good b’ye, John,” said the lady.
+“Now don’t let me keep you; it is more than
+a quarter after two, and I needn’t be at my
+friend’s till three; so now go—there’s a dear!”</p>
+
+<p>This was a puzzler:—the fancy his mother
+had taken to walk upon Waterloo Bridge seemed
+to Jack not only the most extraordinary, but
+the most inconvenient imaginable. He could
+not leave her without accounting to his friends
+for not having made the signal, or for the conversation
+in which it was but too evident to them
+he was engaged; nor could he, in fact, go near
+them, without practically contradicting the declaration
+he had just made to his mother, that
+he knew nothing about them. He decided.</p>
+
+<p>“Well then, mother,” said he, “if you
+really <em>do</em> like to walk up and down a little, I
+don’t see why I should not walk up and
+down with you.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well, I’m sure!” said Mrs. Brag, “wonders
+will never cease, I think! Walk up and
+down with <em>me</em>!—why you have not done such
+a thing these three years. Why, we have never
+been out together since the day you took me
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</span>down to dinner at Blackwall, and kept me shut
+up in an attic at the ‘Artichoke,’ because, you
+said, I wasn’t fit to be seen by the company.
+No, no—go about <em>your</em> business, and leave <em>me</em>
+to mine.”</p>
+
+<p>“I am waiting for somebody,” said Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh! that’s it,” cried Mrs. Brag. “I
+thought there must be something in the wind.”</p>
+
+<p>“I know you don’t like spoiling sport, mother,”
+said Brag. “I’m here on a bit of fun:—I’ll
+let you into the joke. I expect every moment
+to see an uncommon smart body, who has
+been fool enough to advertise for a husband—eh!—don’t
+you see? We’ve tipped her a
+twopenny, fixing this, as the place of meeting:
+it’s past the time, and I dare say she won’t be
+much longer. Now, perhaps, if <em>you</em> stop, she
+won’t come to the scratch.”</p>
+
+<p>“Advertise for a husband!” exclaimed Mrs.
+Brag—“why, what <em>have</em> you been at? Did
+<em>you</em> answer the advertisement?”</p>
+
+<p>“Clean as a whistle,” said Jack, flourishing
+his stick, and shaking his head with an air of
+uncommon self-satisfaction, “smack smooth,
+and no mistake—eh!”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</span></p>
+
+<p>“What! appointing her here”—said the
+lady.</p>
+
+<p>“Here at two,” said Brag—“the adorable
+A. Z. at the oil-shop the corner of Little
+Queen Street, Holborn.”</p>
+
+<p>“You did, did you?” ejaculated his mother.</p>
+
+<p>“I did,” said Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“Well then, all I say, John,” cried Mrs.
+Brag, “is, that you ought to be ashamed of
+yourself. If you was a lone widow woman,
+how would <em>you</em> like to sit moping and mumping
+all alone, after having been used to sociability
+and comfort.”</p>
+
+<p>“I see nothing to be ashamed of,” said
+Brag. “If people will make themselves such
+Tom-noddies as to put such trumpery stuff
+into the newspapers, they deserve all they get.”</p>
+
+<p>“How you ferreted it out, I don’t know,”
+said Mrs. Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“Ferret what out?” said Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“—But <em>this</em> I do know,” continued the lady
+“the letter was not in your hand-writing.”</p>
+
+<p>“How the deuce do you know <em>that</em>?” interrupted
+Jack.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Why, do you think I don’t know your
+little scribbling pot-hooks and hangers when
+I see them?” retorted the mother.</p>
+
+<p>“I dare say you do,” said the son; “but
+how came you to see the letter we sent to A. Z.
+at the pickle-shop?”</p>
+
+<p>“As if you didn’t know,” said Mrs. Brag.
+“Do you suppose I am so blind as not to see
+through <em>your</em> antics? No, no: as I said before,
+how you ferreted it out I don’t yet understand;
+and when you had, I think you might
+have been better set to work than to hoax a
+parent.”</p>
+
+<p>“I’m all at sea,” said Jack. “What have
+you or your affairs to do with our fun?”</p>
+
+<p>“Do!” screamed the angry lady, “do—why
+what else should they have to do with? So
+now you are ashamed of your spy tricks, and
+want to sham that you did not know who A. Z.
+at the pickle-shop, as you call her, is.”</p>
+
+<p>“I’ll be hanged if I do,” said Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“Then hanged it is my belief you will be,”
+replied the mother, “<em>you</em> know as well as <em>I</em>
+do, that <em>I</em> am that individual.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</span></p>
+
+<p>“You!” cried Jack—“you A. Z. at the
+pickle-shop!”</p>
+
+<p>At this moment Brag’s miseries were, as he
+thought, at their <i lang="fr">acmé</i>—but he was mistaken.
+The instant he received the unexpected and
+most unwelcome intelligence, that the object of
+his diversion and ridicule, to enjoy which three
+of his first-rate friends had been brought to the
+scene of action, was really and truly his mother,
+his course was clear; apology and conciliation
+were the weapons with which he was to assail
+her, and having soothed her anger, he would
+walk her off the ground as speedily as possible;
+a course which he considered quite practicable,
+now that she must be convinced, however
+angry, that there was no use in her remaining
+on it.</p>
+
+<p>“My dear mother,” said Brag, “I am truly
+and seriously sorry for this affair. If I had fancied
+it possible—but I—really—dear me!—this
+is all very uncomfortable.”</p>
+
+<p>“If I thought you didn’t do it on purpose,”
+said Mrs. Brag, “I shouldn’t mind it half so
+much.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</span></p>
+
+<p>“My dear mother,” said Brag, “I do most
+positively assure you”—</p>
+
+<p>To which point of assurance his speech had
+arrived, when, tired of procrastination, and
+satisfied that Brag had admirably performed
+his part of the farce, his three friends bounced
+across the road, and joined the unhappy creature,
+forming, as it were, a semicircle in his
+rear.</p>
+
+<p>“Come, Jack,” said Lord Tom Towzle,
+“you have had enough of this fun. Is he
+vastly agreeable, ma’am? Isn’t he a nice little
+man?”</p>
+
+<p>“What!” exclaimed Mrs. Brag, “you <em>do</em>
+know these gentlemen! Why, you little story-teller,
+you said they were no acquaintances of
+yours.”</p>
+
+<p>“If I did”—said John—</p>
+
+<p>“—<em>If</em> you did!” said Mrs. Brag—“why, you
+know you did:—and so these are the companions
+of your trick—the witnesses of your impudence!”</p>
+
+<p>“Pray, ma’am,” said one of the dandies,
+“do not flurry yourself—we are not going to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</span>eat you!—<span id="TN7">we were only anxious</span> to have the
+pleasure of seeing you, because, as we all want
+wives more or less, we thought, like yourself,
+we might as well take the opportunity of viewing,
+before purchase.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, Johnny, Johnny!” said Mrs. Brag,
+holding up her pink and white-striped parasol in
+a posture of threat—“you would do much
+better if you would but stick to the shop, and
+do your duty by <em>me</em>: if that was the case, you
+would not drive your poor mother to do what
+you yourself are most active to turn into ridicule.
+I’ll find this out—I’ll sift it to the very
+bottom: my belief is, that you have been pumping
+Jim Salmon, or one of the shopboys, to
+make this precious discovery, in order to amuse
+your fine friends at the expense of your parent.”</p>
+
+<p>“Parent!” exclaimed Lord Tom Towzle—“what!
+ma’am, is—?—eh!”</p>
+
+<p>“How!” cried one of his friends.—“What!”
+said another.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, you see,” said Brag, “I—I”—</p>
+
+<p>“I’ll tell it you shorter,” said Mrs. Brag,
+around whom and her auditors a crowd of four
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</span>or five of the diurnal two dozen foot-passengers
+were now congregated:—“he is <em>my</em> son—and
+not content with letting an excellent business
+go to rack and ruin while he is cutting his
+capers, and leaving an anxious mother to a
+solentary life and melancholy prospects—here
+he is”—</p>
+
+<p>“Pray, ma’am,” said Lord Tom Towzle, “in
+what line may you be?”</p>
+
+<p>“Wax and tallow chandler,” said Mrs. Brag,
+“including sperm and other oils, flambeaux,
+tapers, bougies, and sealing-wax of all colours
+and qualities.”</p>
+
+<p>“She’s mad, poor thing!” said Jack—“fancies
+herself my mother! Did you ever hear?—go
+home, ma’am—go—and don’t expose yourself
+again by writing such stuff in the newspapers.”</p>
+
+<p>“What! Jack,” said Lord Tom Towzle, “is
+A. Z. at the pickle-shop, corner of Little Queen
+Street, Holborn, your mamma?”</p>
+
+<p>“So she says,” said Brag.</p>
+
+<p>“Says!” exclaimed the indignant matron,—“it
+isn’t that you are much to be proud of:
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</span>but here, gentlemen, here’s the card of the
+shop—I never travel without half a pack in
+my pocket—here, see—judge who is right
+now. Oh! if his poor dear father could but
+get out of his grave in Cripplegate churchyard
+to see the use his darling son has put all
+his indulgence to”—</p>
+
+<p>“He would probably go back again into it,
+ma’am, as fast as he possibly could,” said Lord
+Tom.</p>
+
+<p>“For <em>my</em> part,” said the widow, looking at
+the slice of nobility which had last addressed
+her, “I begin to think you are no better than
+he is; however”—</p>
+
+<p>Here, an admonitory—“Come—move on,
+move on,” from two policemen on duty, put a
+check to the conversation, which promised to
+become more and more animated.</p>
+
+<p>“Move on!” said Mrs. Brag, who at this
+period was in a burning rage, the flame of
+which glowed on her cheeks and sparkled in
+her eyes:—“yes, Mr. Policeman, I’ll move
+on, and move off too; but it would serve that
+little whipper-snapper cockney son of mine right
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</span>to send him to the Station House for what he
+has done.”</p>
+
+<p>“Go home, poor soul!” said Brag, trying
+what “dejected pity” might do:—“go home,
+and get cool: I’ll come and see you soon.”
+Then, turning to his companions, he added:—“I’ve
+heard that gentle remedies are best, eh!—the
+soothing system, as Dr. Dulcimer calls
+it, eh! Go home.”</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t be a fool, Jack,” exclaimed Mrs.
+Brag, “you’ll repent of this some day. All
+these fine-weather friends who set you on to
+play tricks for them to laugh at, will leave you
+the minute your troubles begin, just as rats
+run out of a falling house; and perhaps they
+would not be so fond of you <em>now</em>, if they knew
+that your town mansion was nothing but a brass
+plate, and your little place in Surrey, a second
+floor over a carpenter’s shop. Get you gone—get
+you gone! If you have no feeling for
+yourself, Jacky, I cannot help feeling for you.”</p>
+
+<p>Away flounced the indignant mother; and having
+squeezed herself with some difficulty through
+one of the anti-cheating turnstiles at the end of
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</span>the bridge, bounced along Wellington Street towards
+the Strand, Lord Tom Towzle signalizing
+himself, and delighting the spectators, by imitating,
+at the top of his voice, the crowing of
+a cock, triumphantly victorious in the overthrow
+of an enemy—an exhibition which has
+been more than once received with unbounded
+applause in a theatre in Westminster, which
+yet remains beyond the reach of the Licenser.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, now,” said one of Jack’s three friends,
+“who is this old catamaran? Why does she
+insist upon being your mother?—is it because
+her name is the same?—or”—</p>
+
+<p>Here again was Jack puzzled most wonderfully.
+To renounce her as a parent, and denounce
+her as a cheat, was something too strong
+even for <em>his</em> assurance.</p>
+
+<p>“—Why,” said our hero, “I believe, if truth
+were to be told, she is my mother.”</p>
+
+<p>“Truth to be told!” said Lord Tom, “why,
+Jack, although there may, in these wicked days,
+be something like reason in the proverb that
+says, ‘it is a wise child who knows his own
+father,’—the adage cannot hold good as regards
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</span>the female parent;—there can be no great
+doubt about <em>that</em>.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Jack again, who generally began
+his speeches with why,—why, he knew
+not,—“why, you see, my mother”—And then
+again nature interposed:—it was not feeling,
+it was not tenderness, nor even affection, which
+held him back, or checked the tongue on which
+some flippant falsehood was gathering—it was
+instinct,—not better in its character perhaps
+(if so good) than that of a chimpanzee, but it
+was enough to paralyze his efforts to shuffle
+off the relationship between himself and the
+maltreated A. Z. at the pickle-shop at the corner
+of Little Queen Street, Holborn—“Why,”
+again said Jack, “I am sorry we made so bad
+a shot,—because I believe it is a good deal my
+own fault—I have driven her to it, eh! Can’t
+keep at work and”—</p>
+
+<p>Brag had now fallen into his own trap; his
+impudence for once failed him, and he stood
+confessed the son of the determined husband-hunting
+widow of the deceased tallow chandler.</p>
+
+<p>“But, Jack,” said Lord Tom, “what did
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</span>your amiable parent mean by the brass plate,
+and the carpenter’s shop—the mansion and the
+villa?”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, that,” said Jack, “was all passion.
+When a woman’s back’s up, she’ll say anything,
+no matter what. I am sorry it has happened,
+because it has exposed her, and certainly
+has not come off the bat, clean, smack
+smooth, and no mistake.”</p>
+
+<p>“No, that you cannot say,” said Lord Tom;
+“however, never mind it; the old lady will
+forgive you. You must go and see her, and
+make it up. Suppose we all go in a body and
+apologise, and I’ll explain to her the circumstances
+of the affair, and convince her that you
+really were totally ignorant that <em>she</em> was the
+advertiser, eh! Shall we do <em>that</em>?”</p>
+
+<p>This proposition produced a violent accession
+to Jack’s already raging fever. The thought
+of Lord Tom Towzle and the two “nobs,” as
+he called them, proceeding <i lang="fr">en masse</i> through
+the shop to the back-parlour beforementioned,
+under the row of wooden candles fluttering in
+the breeze, was perfect misery to him.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</span></p>
+
+<p>“No, no,” said Brag, “by no means! I
+have always noticed that a woman cools soonest
+when left alone.—My mother,” said Brag,
+assuming a new tone, and which he thought to
+be the wisest, “is a woman of what you call
+strong feeling—mighty high—old family—and
+proud as Lucifer. She’s in a passion;
+and when she is out of it I’ll go to her—mollify
+her, eh!—smooth her down, and make all
+snug and comfortable.”</p>
+
+<p>“—‘And no mistake,’ Jack,” said Lord Tom.
+“Well, all I hope is, your nerves won’t be
+shaken for the race to-morrow. ‘Slap-bang’ is
+the favourite; and riding a winning horse is
+no very hard task”—</p>
+
+<p>“Nervous!” said Jack, who began as usual
+to rally—“what is to shake my nerves?—an
+angry woman? No, no: I know the female
+sex too well to mind a few passing clouds; and
+as for the <i lang="fr">exposé</i>, as the French call it, it’s
+nothing to me. My mother, as I have just
+said, is a woman of excellent family; how can I
+help her having been so silly as to marry a tallow
+chandler.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</span></p>
+
+<p>This mode of putting the case set Jack’s
+friends laughing with him rather than at him.
+Like a cat, Jack generally contrived to fall
+upon his legs, however “high” the tumble; and
+they all agreed that he was perfectly right,
+and that he had behaved in the most moderate
+and judicious manner: and when they parted,
+renewed the appointment for the morrow with
+the usual cordiality.</p>
+
+<p>As for Johnny, far different indeed were his
+feelings: the scene on the bridge was one
+which never could be effaced from his memory.
+The coquelicot bonnet; the striped parasol;
+the white and green feathers; the buff boots;
+the object of the visit; the conversation; the
+disclosure; the mystery of the plate, and the
+history of the villa; and, above all, the exhibition
+of the shop-card, and the conviction
+that he was the son of A. Z. at the pickle-shop—it
+was all vastly well for his tiger friends to
+laugh it off—but what would form the subject
+of their conversation after dinner that very day
+at Crockford’s, where the conclave would be
+secured from his intrusion? What would be
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</span>the nickname which was ever after destined to
+distinguish him in the contemporaneous history
+of society?</p>
+
+<p>It was clear that his end, as far as that sort
+of “life” was concerned, was drawing to a close.
+Two practicable measures now presented themselves
+to his imagination, both of which are said
+to go by destiny—hanging or marriage—the
+halter or the altar, and, according to Jack’s counterchanged
+aspiration of the <em>h</em>, it was difficult
+to discover his preference by his own pronunciation
+of the word. His mind was soon made up;
+and being assured that his secrets—as he considered
+the shop, the door-plate, and the villa—would,
+in the hands in which they had now
+been authoritatively deposited, be secrets not
+many hours longer, he resolved within himself
+that he had no time to lose in bringing the
+widow to action; and, as the reader already is
+aware, that let what might have happened, he
+never intended to ride “Slap-bang” over the
+forbidden lands of Wrigglesworth—that evening
+and the next day were to be devoted to
+the grand experiment of his life.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</span></p>
+
+<p>In putting this affair into execution, the
+natural infirmity of his disposition was remarkably
+exemplified. Convinced that Frank Rushton
+was satisfied of the prepossession of both
+Mrs. Dallington and Miss Englefield in his
+favour, and equally assured of the wisdom of
+Lord Tom’s advice as to the course to be pursued,
+he determined in the outset to act upon
+the principle of the one, and adopt the practice
+recommended by the other:—that is to say, to
+play off both the ladies one against the other,
+but not to commit himself to either, by writing;
+it being evident to the meanest capacity (except
+that of Johnny’s) that neither of two sisters,
+nor of two women, indeed, who were <em>not</em> sisters,
+living in the same house, and in circumstances
+such as those in which Mrs. Dallington and
+Blanche were placed, could possibly receive
+anything like a proposal, or even a probable
+approach to it, without communicating the circumstance
+to the other. The mingled vanity
+and stupidity of Johnny, in the midst of his
+gaiety and amiability, prevented this single
+circumstance striking him; and, secure in his
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</span>own influence over both the fair creatures, and
+his intimate knowledge of “females,” he resolved
+upon Lord Tom’s assumed doctrine, that both
+ladies being actually engaged to other men, neither
+would commit herself to the other by the acknowledgment
+of a passion for him: this decided
+him to fire both his barrels in rapid succession,
+giving the unmarried lady the preference
+by a few hours.</p>
+
+<p>Having, however, revolved the affair in his
+mind, he again changed his original intention
+as to the mode of attack, and resolved to address
+the widow personally—and the sister by
+letter;—for, in spite of Lord Tom’s <em>friendly</em>
+caution about writing, Jack did not feel himself
+quite a match for the tender delicacy of
+Blanche in the way of dialogue; having moreover,
+with all his avowed notions of practical
+advances, a most sensitive apprehension of a
+scream or a fainting-fit, which he feared might
+alarm the family, arouse the widow to a sense
+of his libertine insincerity, and explode the
+whole of his great undertaking.</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, in the course of the afternoon of
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</span>the day upon which the unlucky affair of A. Z.—the
+alpha and omega of his destruction—occurred,
+he proceeded to one of his favourite haunts,
+and in pursuance of the scheme which he had now
+arranged, addressed a letter to Miss Englefield,
+avowing, not, it must be owned, in the most
+direct and explicit terms, but in a tone and
+language which it was impossible for any lady
+to mistake or misapprehend,—a devotion the
+most perfect and entire to her mind and person;
+alluding, in as good English as he could
+contrive to write, to the encouragement he felt
+he had received, trusting to her kindness and
+consideration, if he were mistaken, to forgive
+him; and hinting that Mr. Rushton himself
+was not altogether unconscious of the preference
+of which he felt so proud.</p>
+
+<p>This he despatched before he slept, which he
+did at his “little place in Surrey;” and when
+he woke from a sort of fitful slumber in which
+he had passed the night, he began bitterly to
+repent of a step which he had taken while
+under the influence of a kind of desperation.
+However, as it <em>was</em> done, he determined to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</span>“go the whole hog,” and follow up this feint
+at the unmarried lady, which might after all
+be turned into a real attack in case of a failure
+with the widow.</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, at the earliest decent period for
+calling upon anybody, Brag proceeded to make
+his visit to Mrs. Dallington; but here again
+his courage failed him. His mind was made
+up to the deciding step of trying his fortune,
+and as he went along, he rehearsed—or, as
+they say of birds, recorded all the sweet notes
+in which he should address her, if he found
+her alone. As he proceeded, his spirits mounted,
+until he had worked himself into a serviceable
+state of amativeness: he reached the door,—knocked—the
+noise seemed like thunder:</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>“He trembled at the sound himself had made”—</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>his courage began, like that of Acres in the
+play, to “ooze out at his fingers’ ends;” and
+the terror he experienced when the servant told
+him his mistress <em>was</em> at home, can scarcely be
+imagined.</p>
+
+<p>The crisis had arrived; and as it <em>was</em> to
+come, perhaps it was better it should have occurred
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</span>before any of his mother’s intemperate
+disclosures on the bridge had reached what
+Jack was in the habit of calling “the West
+end.” He mounted the stairs with his throat
+a little parched, and his hands a little cold;
+but when the door of the boudoir was opened,
+and he found his charming hostess alone, the
+sight was fatal.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, my dear Mr. Brag,” said Mrs. Dallington,
+holding out her hand towards him,
+“where <em>have</em> you been—hiding yourself in the
+country? I believe you have some attraction
+at your place in Surrey, of which we here in
+town are not aware.”</p>
+
+<p>The allusion was not pleasant. Brag—the
+undaunted, unabashed lady-killer—sat himself
+down in a chair opposite the sofa on which
+he found the widow seated writing at a table
+before it, and felt assured that, by some telegraphic
+or other communication, the fair object
+of his hopes and ambition had received the
+intelligence of the affair on the bridge:—so
+’tis that</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>“Conscience doth make cowards of us all.”</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</span></p>
+
+<p>“No,” said Brag, endeavouring to collect
+himself, “I have been staying in Hertfordshire
+for the last few days.”</p>
+
+<p>“I assure you we have missed you very much,”
+said the lady, who, fortunately or unfortunately,
+as the case may be, for Brag—was, for
+reasons of her own, in the best possible humour
+for encouraging his civilities,—“you can’t
+think how dull we have been without you. My
+belief is, that your friend Lord Tom is the
+cause of your abdication from town: he is so
+fond of his shooting matches and his steeple
+chases, and you, we hear, are his prime minister:
+in short, he cannot exist without you.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said Brag, looking very much obliged,
+and very silly, “you flatter me. I assure you
+I just do these sort of things by way of a start
+now and then; but—I—it isn’t my taste—it
+obliges Tom—and that sort of thing; but—I—I—feel”—</p>
+
+<p>“What!” said the widow, “do you mean
+to disown your affection for a sporting life,
+who are, as Sir Charles Lydiard says, the very
+life of sporting?”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Sir Charles is very civil,” said Brag, who
+began to feel conscious of an approach to his subject:
+“I don’t think <em>he</em> is very fond of sport—of
+any sort,” was added in a whisper scarcely
+audible.</p>
+
+<p>“He is a strange creature, isn’t he?” said
+Mrs. Dallington. “A most excellent man—kind,
+and all <em>that</em>—but <em>so</em> cold in his manner—I
+am sure he makes enemies by it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Brag, looking down, and rubbing
+his hat, “I don’t know what he may be
+to females—he <em>is</em> certainly—rather—eh!—rather”—</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said Mrs. Dallington, “don’t be afraid,
+I shall not repeat a word you say about him. I
+quite agree with you. Women, Mr. Brag,” and
+the widow suited her looks to the word—“are
+fond of spirit and vivacity. The days of sad,
+sickly, sighing swains, are gone by: society is
+enlightened, and diffidence seems to be considered
+in these times merely a mark of stupidity.
+I suppose everything is destined to travel at an
+increased pace, and I, for one, admit a partiality
+for fast travelling, as far as <em>that</em> goes.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</span></p>
+
+<p>This was pretty strong encouragement to an
+aspirant who was in a hurry, and engaged to
+ride “Slap-bang” across a county the next
+day—but Brag was Brag, every inch of him.</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said Brag, “it’s uncommon pleasant:
+I don’t think, however, I shall ever be
+caught giving up horses for steam.”</p>
+
+<p>This sudden digression from the figurative
+to the matter-of-fact, evidently disappointed
+the widow, who, truth to be told, had never
+appeared, either alone or in society, so cordial
+in her manner to our hero as upon this
+special occasion, upon which, of all others, it
+was most important to his views that she should
+be so. The first opening she had given him
+for a little self-recommendation in accordance
+with her avowed taste, he had botched,—missed
+his tip,—and become prosy.</p>
+
+<p>“I have got a good many shares in the rail-roads,”
+said Jack.</p>
+
+<p>This settled him, and, it must be confessed,
+fully justified his own preference for literary
+correspondence over verbal communication, upon
+tender subjects.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</span></p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Dallington gave a look; Brag, luckily,
+did not see it. A pause ensued, but, as our
+volatile widow was playing a game, it did not
+last long.</p>
+
+<p>“I wonder,” said the widow, looking at Brag
+with an expression of interest—“I wonder
+<em>you</em> have never married, Mr. Brag.”</p>
+
+<p>This bit of wonderment nearly took away
+his breath: his tongue seemed too big for his
+mouth;—he began to twiddle his fingers, felt
+his ears get red, and his nose cold.</p>
+
+<p>“Ha, ha!” said he, and rubbed his hat
+again.</p>
+
+<p>“So gay, so gallant, and so devoted to the
+fair,” continued Mrs. Dallington, “I should
+think you had only to ask and command. I
+do not at all understand why you haven’t yet
+thrown your handkerchief.”</p>
+
+<p>Brag, who did not in the least understand
+why he should perform any such operation,
+merely inclined his body.</p>
+
+<p>“I have been married myself,” said Mrs.
+Dallington, “and although I soon became a
+widow, I am quite sure that where there are
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</span>reciprocity of affection, congeniality of taste,
+and sympathy of feeling, no state of society
+can be so truly satisfactory and so entirely
+good,—I have no word so short or so emphatic
+for it as that—as marriage.”</p>
+
+<p>“It must be uncommon agreeable, I should
+think,” said Brag, looking “uncommon”
+foolish.</p>
+
+<p>“Now there’s Frank Rushton,” said Mrs.
+Dallington, “a most delightful companion—a
+most accomplished scholar,—and, as I believe,
+extremely attached to my poor dear sister—and
+yet, you see, they don’t get married.
+I believe that all you agreeable, gay
+men of the world, try everything in your power
+to turn the heads of poor girls, without any
+serious intention of eventually making them
+happy.”</p>
+
+<p>This voluntary confession of facts and opinions,
+delivered in Mrs. Dallington’s most
+agreeable, off-hand manner, although it corroborated
+in Brag’s mind all his former belief of
+the interest he had created in the family, so
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</span>astounded him, that with the opportunity at
+hand, for which he had so earnestly sought, he
+remained a mere listener at the mercy of his
+idol.</p>
+
+<p>“As for Blanche,” said the widow, “as I
+have great faith in the philosophy which inculcates
+the belief of a love of opposites, I am
+sure she, tender, shy, and retiring as she is,
+ought to be over head and ears in love with
+Frank; but I don’t believe she cares the least
+bit in the world about him. To be sure she
+has a right to please herself. She has a large
+fortune, and nobody to control her, and, <em>I</em>
+think, would make a most admirable wife for
+any man who knew how to appreciate her.
+However, I know nothing about her views or
+proceedings; we have no confidences; we each
+go our own way. I never trouble <em>her</em> with my
+advice, and, of course, <em>she</em> never presumes to
+give me any.”</p>
+
+<p>“I am sure,” said Brag, “you would make
+anybody in love with wedlock—I’m—sure—You
+wonder that Miss Englefield does not
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</span>marry Mr. Rushton;—I—often—think—I do
+indeed—that—you—I beg your pardon—I
+mean Sir Charles—eh!—and no mistake”—</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said the widow, “I quite understand
+you. Sir Charles is a good creature—but
+as for love, I don’t believe he ever thinks
+of such a thing. Certainly he is not of <em>our</em>
+opinion as to gaiety and vivacity.”</p>
+
+<p>“I was thinking,” said Brag, looking as
+white as a sheet, and crumpling his remarkably
+nice hat in a paroxysm of something between
+hope and fear, “—that—you—really ought not
+to permit—eh!—this—he is such an odd man—eh!”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear Mr. Brag,” said Mrs. Dallington,
+“there are secrets in all families.”</p>
+
+<p>Brag perfectly agreed in the proposition,
+and directly did there flit before his eyes
+coquelicot bonnets, striped parasols, buff boots,
+brass plates, green and white feathers, and a
+tribe of visions more horrible than Fuseli’s
+fiercest efforts after a supper of half-boiled
+pork.</p>
+
+<p>“There <em>are</em> people with whom we become
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</span>habitually familiarized,” said Mrs. Dallington,
+“but who never touch the heart.”</p>
+
+<p>“Is Mr. Rushton,” stammered Jack, “one
+of those?”</p>
+
+<p>“Why really,” replied Mrs. Dallington,—“Blanche
+not being here to answer for herself—for
+although you never inquired after
+her, I ought perhaps to have told you she has
+been out of town for two days, and does not
+return till to-morrow,—<em>I</em> was not so particularly
+referring to <em>her</em> case.”</p>
+
+<p>This must have opened the eyes of a mole.
+Brag, in a moment, became aware that Mrs.
+Dallington could know nothing of his rash
+note to Blanche, and felt more convinced than
+ever that the widow was his own.</p>
+
+<p>“The case,” stammered John—“you don’t—that
+is—really”—</p>
+
+<p>“You are a most amiable creature!” said
+Mrs. Dallington. “I see how diffident you are
+of your own merits—how unconscious you are
+of your own power!”</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” faltered Brag, quite overcome—“yes—am
+I—that is—may I—do I make myself
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</span>understood?—is—that is—don’t I—eh!—if—but”—</p>
+
+<p>—“Sir Charles Lydiard,” said a servant,
+throwing open the door, and announcing the
+worthy baronet, who entered the room with his
+usual mild placidity of manner, and after shaking
+hands with the lady, turned round, and
+beheld—his aversion. The look he gave Mrs.
+Dallington expressed all his feelings upon <em>that</em>
+point: nor was it lost upon Brag himself, who
+collected his hat, gloves, and switch-stick, and
+having gathered them up, made his bow, and
+left his adorable widow <i lang="fr">tête-à-tête</i> with the
+baronet, perfectly assured of his triumphant
+success with her, and bitterly repenting having
+exposed so much of his heart to her less
+well-provided-for sister.</p>
+
+<p>Never, to be sure, was there a more perfect
+illustration of the character of the swaggering
+pretender to <i lang="fr">bonnes fortunes</i> than the melancholy
+proceedings of our wretched little hero. The
+ball was at his foot—the game was in his hands—and
+yet he, the slayer of hearts, and the assassin
+of reputations, cowered before the fostering
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</span>kindness of his liberal hostess, and sneaked out
+of the presence of the man whom he believed
+to be his defeated rival, in ridiculing whom he
+had first joined with his mistress to take a step
+of which we shall hear more hereafter.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</span></p>
+
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VII">
+ CHAPTER VII.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>There are some people upon whom advice is
+thrown away, and who, holding themselves to
+be wiser than their councillors, rush “<i lang="la">in medias
+res</i>” where</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>——“Angels fear to tread.”</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>Mr. Brag, who did not want for that sort of
+intellectual quality called cunning, was nevertheless,
+as has been already made tolerably
+evident, favoured by nature with an overbalancing
+share of conceit, and when he had
+ascertained the tone of the widow’s feelings
+towards him, and satisfied himself that his case
+was reduced to something very like “ask and
+have,” he resolved upon taking the step against
+which his friend Lord Tom had so strenuously
+advised him, and which, as a matter of assurance,
+was rendered “trebly hazardous” by his
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</span>having previously adopted it with regard to
+her sister.</p>
+
+<p>The Irish gentleman’s definition of a bottle
+of soda water we will not stop to repeat, but it
+would have applied with tolerable accuracy to
+the character of our hero. Although he had
+extracted from Mrs. Dallington what he believed
+to be quite sufficient to justify his best
+hopes, he felt in the solitude of his “little
+place in Surrey” a consciousness of inability
+to conduct the storm personally, or carry her
+heart by a <i lang="fr">coup de main</i>—unless, indeed, a letter
+might be so considered—and therefore,
+spite of the advice of his experienced Mentor,
+he proceeded to address the fair widow in an
+epistle, a repetition of which it is not necessary
+to inflict upon the reader, but which contained
+a distinct declaration and a formal proposal.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Brag had now shot his bolt, and nothing
+remained but to see its effect. It must be admitted
+that even <em>he</em> was in some sort nervous
+and fidgety; but that happy self-satisfaction,
+which when he was not required to make an
+effort never forsook him, kept his spirits on the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</span>“credit side of the account.” The letter, however,
+was gone—past recal—and therefore the
+next wisest thing to not sending it in the first
+instance, was to live upon the hopes of its
+success.</p>
+
+<p>Upon the popular “wheel within wheel”
+system, the widow had acted so as to induce
+the declaration which it contained, satisfied
+that by “playing” her baronet upon the occasion,
+she might “land” him,—but certainly not
+prepared to find that Blanche was placed in a
+similar position. As things turned out, the
+effect it produced was striking.</p>
+
+<p>Blanche had just returned from her two
+days’ visit to the country. The moment she
+entered the house, she hastened to her sister’s
+boudoir, where she found her in the very act of
+reading, with evident marks of amazement and
+exultation, the avowal of Mr. Brag’s affections.</p>
+
+<p>“My dear Blanche,” exclaimed Mrs. Dallington,
+“you are arrived at the very moment
+to congratulate me on a conquest. I have
+received a proposal”—</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</span></p>
+
+<p>“What!” said Blanche, “from Sir Charles?”</p>
+
+<p>“No,” replied her sister, in a tone which
+certainly conveyed the idea that she wished she
+had:—“I think you will guess without much
+difficulty, knowing the man.”</p>
+
+<p>“The Fates are propitious,” said Blanche;
+“I too have been so fortunate as to merit the
+decided approbation of a lover, who declares
+the happiness of his life, and the value of his
+existence, depend upon my answer.”</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed!” exclaimed Mrs. Dallington:—“why,
+<em>my</em> worshipper uses the very same expression.
+Yes—here it is:—‘The happiness
+of my life, and the value of my existence, depend
+upon your answer.’”</p>
+
+<p>“That <em>is</em> curious,” said Blanche; “may I
+ask who the tender swain is?”</p>
+
+<p>“Guess,” said Mrs. Dallington.</p>
+
+<p>“I cannot,” replied her sister.</p>
+
+<p>“What! not our exquisite little friend
+Brag!” said Mrs. Dallington. “I was always
+sure how our acquaintance would end: I wonder
+it did not strike <em>you</em>.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Blanche, “the reason my suspicions
+did not lead that way is rather a good
+one—he has made me a proposal.”</p>
+
+<p>“When did you receive it?” said the widow.</p>
+
+<p>“Yesterday,” replied Blanche, “it was forwarded
+to me from town.”</p>
+
+<p>“I suppose it is a circular,” said the widow.</p>
+
+<p>“No, no,” said Blanche, “mine is the original,
+yours is the copy.”</p>
+
+<p>“What <em>can</em> the man mean?” said Mrs. Dallington.
+“Does he really suppose himself so
+fascinating, that, like the rattlesnake, he has
+nothing to do but look at us to induce us to
+drop into his mouth? Now if he had confined
+his attentions to <em>me</em>”—</p>
+
+<p>“Ah!” interrupted Miss Englefield, “that
+is exactly the case; if he had confined his attentions
+to <em>me</em>, the affair would have been different:
+as it is”—</p>
+
+<p>“No, no,” said the widow, “don’t misunderstand
+me, my dear Blanche. I do assure
+you I am neither envious nor jealous. You
+should be welcome to all his attentions and all
+his affections—only please to observe that <em>I</em>
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</span>intended him to take the step he has taken,
+and availed myself of your absence to lead him
+on to a declaration.”</p>
+
+<p>“For what earthly purpose?” said Blanche.</p>
+
+<p>“Man,” said the widow, “is an imitative
+animal, and everybody knows the force of example.”</p>
+
+<p>“But do you want anybody for whom you
+have a regard to imitate Mr. Brag?” asked
+Blanche.</p>
+
+<p>“In the one particular of which we are now
+speaking,” replied the widow, “I do. It seems
+to me, Blanche, that the lives we are both leading
+are full of worry and vexation: yours, because
+you will not encourage your avowed lover; mine,
+because the man whose claim upon my affections
+I admit, will not avow himself. It strikes me
+that this most marvellous display of assurance
+on the part of our little friend may serve us both
+incalculably, by bringing both our gentlemen to
+a proper sense of their duty;—to excite poor
+dear Sir Charles into a determination, and to
+soothe Rushton into a reasonable state of mind.”</p>
+
+<p>“I confess,” said Blanche, “I do not exactly
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</span>understand the course of proceeding by
+which this desirable end is to be attained.”</p>
+
+<p>“Let us both accept the little man,” said
+the widow. “The natural awkwardness of
+his position must produce a disclosure of his
+schemes; and what appears to me infinitely
+better fun, his vanity and conceit. That,
+which must happen, is, however, only a secondary
+object with me;—the discovery of the
+affair will show our capricious lovers that there
+<em>are</em> men who, instead of hesitating to propose
+to one woman, are prepared to make offers to
+two; and moreover, my dear Blanche, the very
+notion that we are exposed to such temptations
+will urge our strange friends to some decided
+step. You must accept Mr. Brag.”</p>
+
+<p>“Me!” exclaimed Blanche: “I accept him—an
+antidote to everything like affection of
+any kind!”</p>
+
+<p>“Why, my dear,” said Mrs. Dallington, “I
+am sure he is very genteel; he curls his hair,
+wears rings and chains, smokes cigars, rides
+races, and lives with Lord Tom Towzle. What
+would you have?—accept him you must.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Never!” cried Blanche.</p>
+
+<p>“You must, my dear girl,” replied Mrs.
+Dallington, “and so will I:—yes, both of us—he
+is too charming to be monopolized by
+one. You must write to him.”</p>
+
+<p>“A billet-doux?” enquired Blanche.</p>
+
+<p>“Exactly so,” said Mrs. Dallington. “Let
+us both be desperately in love with Lord Tom’s
+tiger: you will see how odiously jealous Rushton
+will be in a day, and Sir Charles.—Oh!
+never mind; write—write—write, and I will
+dictate.”</p>
+
+<p>“Write what, my dear sister?” asked Miss
+Englefield.</p>
+
+<p>“A civil acceptance of his offer,” said Mrs.
+Dallington, “couched in terms becoming the
+gratitude of a young lady of small pretensions.”</p>
+
+<p>“I am infinitely obliged to you, my dear
+sister,” said Blanche, “but really”—</p>
+
+<p>“Really,” interrupted Mrs. Dallington, “you
+must allow <em>me</em> to be the best judge of what is
+best suited to my juniors; so sit you down and
+write, and I will dictate.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</span></p>
+
+<p>“But what will the world say?” asked
+Blanche.</p>
+
+<p>“What world, my dear?” said Mrs. Dallington—“Mr.
+Brag’s world—or the world at
+large? What the one chooses to say will signify
+nothing to us; and what we may choose
+to do will signify as little to the other. Trust
+in <em>me</em>; be assured that I will not mislead you,
+whatever may be my intentions with respect
+to your scarecrow of a lover.”</p>
+
+<p>“<em>My</em> lover!” cried Blanche, colouring crimson
+at the imputation—“your lover too!”</p>
+
+<p>“Both,” said the widow. “Now sit down;
+rely upon it, it is a kindness sometimes to be
+cruel:—so write.”</p>
+
+<p>Blanche, almost unresistingly, seated herself
+at the very identical table at which Jack had
+found Mrs. Dallington established the day before;
+and mechanically arranging the writing
+materials, looked at her sister with an expression
+of unconsciousness of what she was to say,
+and of enquiry as to the words she was to set
+down.</p>
+
+<p>“Are you ready to begin?” said the widow.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said Blanche—“to obey your instructions
+most dutifully.”</p>
+
+<p>“Now, then,” said Mrs. Dallington, “write:—‘I
+scarcely know how to reply to your flattering
+letter.’”</p>
+
+<p>“I am sure I shall do it all wrong,” said
+Blanche writing.—</p>
+
+<p>“‘I have struggled for some time—’”</p>
+
+<p>“Some time,” repeated Blanche—“struggled
+with what?”</p>
+
+<p>“Go on,” said Mrs. Dallington:—“‘for
+some time with my feelings,—but the manner
+in which Mr. Rushton, whom you have often
+seen here, conducts himself towards me is’”—</p>
+
+<p>“What would you have me say, sister?”
+said Blanche, hesitating. “<em>You</em> know, if nobody
+else does, that I love him, and”—</p>
+
+<p>“Never mind that,” said the widow, “go
+on:—‘conducts himself towards me is such,
+that I can endure his treatment no longer.’”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear sister,” said Blanche, “you are
+laughing at me:—you wish me to expose
+myself.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why do you think so, my dear?” said
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</span>Mrs. Dallington. “You have told me a hundred
+times that he torments you to death.”</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said Blanche, “but what I say to
+<em>you</em>, and what I write to this man”—</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” said the widow, “then put—‘vexes
+me,’ instead of ‘tormenting me.’”</p>
+
+<p>“That is better,” said Blanche, continuing
+to write.</p>
+
+<p>“‘That any man upon earth would be preferable
+in my eyes,’” said Mrs. Dallington.</p>
+
+<p>“No,” said Blanche, tossing up her head
+with unusual animation, and throwing down
+the pen, “<em>that</em> I never <em>will</em> write!”</p>
+
+<p>“What innocence!” said Mrs. Dallington.
+“My dear sister, we are only setting a simpleton-trap,
+and”—</p>
+
+<p>“It does not signify,” said Blanche, “I”—</p>
+
+<p>“No, it does <em>not</em> signify, so write,” said the
+widow. “There now—go on—it will be <em>my</em>
+turn next. Tell him you shall expect him to
+call—this evening. I will write him an equally
+tender answer, and make a similar appointment.
+What can it signify what one says to
+such a man under such circumstances?”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</span></p>
+
+<p>“But, my dear creature,” said Blanche,
+“what an opinion he must form of us if he
+thinks we are both in love with him!”</p>
+
+<p>“It is quite clear that he <em>does</em> think so
+now,” said Mrs. Dallington; “so this will not
+make it one bit the worse. Here—make room—let
+me write mine: all you have to do is to
+watch the results of our invitation, and be as
+cold as ice to Rushton when you next see him.
+Rely upon it, my dear innocent, we shall have
+fun, and, if I mistake not, husbands, out of
+this scheme, which, moderate as my pretensions
+are, I must say I think admirable, inasmuch
+as it mystifies three men at once,—and
+all—all for their own eventual good.”</p>
+
+<p>“I believe you take a pleasure in tormenting,”
+said Blanche, who was busy sealing her
+note, while her sister was rapidly writing her’s
+in that elegant and unintelligible hand which is
+the universal medium of lady-like correspondence,
+when, to their surprise and confusion,
+the door of the boudoir was thrown open, and
+Sir Charles Lydiard and Mr. Rushton were
+announced.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Hide your letter!” said Blanche.</p>
+
+<p>“Me!” said Mrs. Dallington, loud enough
+to be heard by Sir Charles; “trust to my
+fidelity.”</p>
+
+<p>“By Jove!” whispered Rushton to Lydiard,
+“they are writing—writing notes and hiding
+them!”</p>
+
+<p>“So I perceive,” said Sir Charles, coldly.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, ladies,” said Rushton, advancing towards
+Blanche, “we have found you busy.”</p>
+
+<p>Blanche bowed diffidently, and finished sealing
+her note.</p>
+
+<p>“What is the matter with you, Sir Charles?”
+said Mrs. Dallington; “you look out of sorts
+and out of spirits.”</p>
+
+<p>“No, madam,” said Lydiard, “I am neither;
+only I did not know whether I might
+venture to break in upon your literary avocations.”</p>
+
+<p>“Quite right, Sir Charles,” said Mrs. Dallington.
+“People who make up their minds
+not to pry into the business of their neighbours,
+are most likely not to be disturbed in
+their serenity.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Miss Englefield,” said Rushton, “appears
+to be of a similar opinion. I confess I am not
+of a temper to bear with such things. I hate
+three-cornered notes, if they are not addressed
+to myself.”</p>
+
+<p>“You are equally right with Sir Charles,”
+said the widow. “I <em>am</em> writing a billet-doux,
+but I have just finished.”</p>
+
+<p>“Upon my word,” said Lydiard, “it must
+be a most interesting affair. I think I never
+saw you more animated than you seem to be
+while despatching this note: all I am afraid of
+is, that I have been the cause of its abrupt
+termination.”</p>
+
+<p>During this dialogue, Rushton endeavoured
+to draw Blanche into a conversation with regard
+to the note <em>she</em> was writing, but she avoided
+answering his questions; and supported in
+the course she had adopted by her sister’s conduct
+towards Sir Charles, so completely damped
+the ardent spirits of her mercurial lover,
+that he crossed to the other side of the room,
+and threw himself upon the sofa.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Dallington having sealed her note, rang
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</span>the bell, and directed the servant to send it
+immediately.</p>
+
+<p>“Now,” said Sir Charles, “I have found it
+out—you are merely trying me: the note,
+after all, is destined for me.”</p>
+
+<p>“As you doubt me, Sir Charles,” said Mrs.
+Dallington, “I shall leave you to discover the
+truth.”</p>
+
+<p>“I am certain,” said the baronet, with much
+more animation than he usually exhibited, “it
+can be to no one else. I shall return to my
+hotel to receive it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Do,” said the widow, “and justify me
+from your suspicions.” Saying which, the lady,
+with an air of being particularly piqued, left
+the room by one door, while Sir Charles, convinced
+that she had taken some deciding step
+with regard to himself, retired by the other,
+leaving the other pair of lovers <i lang="fr">tête-à-tête</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The moment her sister left the room, Blanche
+rose to follow her.</p>
+
+<p>“Stay, Blanche,” said Rushton, “one moment.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</span></p>
+
+<p>“No, Mr. Rushton,” said Miss Englefield,
+“I am too angry with you to stay.”</p>
+
+<p>“Surely,” said Rushton, “you cannot be
+angry with my jealousy—a jealousy that springs
+only from excess of affection.”</p>
+
+<p>“No man,” said Blanche, “can possess real
+affection for any one of whose sincerity he has
+a constant doubt. I have forgiven these mad
+fits twenty times, always hoping and expecting
+that time would show you your error; but no,—our
+very last quarrel occurred ten minutes
+after our last reconciliation.”</p>
+
+<p>“Recollect, Blanche,” said Rushton, “the
+events of that day—the day before you left
+town:—there you were—the sought and admired
+of the party—speaking kindly and looking
+kindly to everybody except me, of whom, as I
+felt, you took no notice.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well, sir,” said Blanche, “and if I were
+cold, and even cross, you need not have been so
+greatly surprised, if you had recollected how
+you called me to account for sitting next Mr.
+Brag the last time he was here, and entering
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</span>into a common conversation with him about
+some of his feats and enterprizes.”</p>
+
+<p>“By Heavens!” exclaimed Rushton, “how
+I hate that fellow—his easy assurance, his self-conceit:
+but the fault is all your’s and your
+sister’s. That very night there he was whispering
+his infernal nonsense in your ear, to your
+evident amusement and satisfaction, while I,
+distressed and disturbed by your conduct,
+was losing my money at écarté with Lady Begbrook,
+and you sat laughing at my folly and
+agitation.”</p>
+
+<p>“I <em>did</em> laugh,” said Blanche, “but I did
+not laugh alone.”</p>
+
+<p>“No, no, that’s true,” said Rushton. “I
+dare say there are minds and tempers that can
+bear these irritations—I confess mine cannot.
+Possibly I expect too much; probably
+I am romantic; but, I <em>do</em> say, and <em>will</em> say,
+that however charming I may wish my wife to
+be, I do not exactly desire that she should be
+anxious to make herself universally agreeable,
+nor equally delightful, to everybody.”</p>
+
+<p>“Really, Mr. Rushton,” said Blanche, “these
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</span>fancies of yours are unjustifiable and unbearable.
+I confess that it would cost me serious
+pain to terminate our acquaintance, in which
+I have, when you are rational, great happiness;
+but such conduct surely deserves to lose my
+esteem. I can neither smile nor sigh, walk nor
+sit down, talk nor be silent, go out nor come in,
+but you attribute some motive to my actions.
+They bring me a letter—of course it is from
+a rival; I dance with somebody—you are
+either angry or in despair. I am civil to Mr.
+Brag, my sister’s visiter, and the next moment
+I see you wholly unconscious of what you are
+doing, crushing my fan to atoms in revenge.
+Oh! Mr. Rushton, Mr. Rushton, such conduct
+in a lover is but the anticipation of tyranny in
+a husband.”</p>
+
+<p>“Tyranny, Blanche!” said Rushton, suddenly
+softened into subjection; “what an
+idea!”</p>
+
+<p>“I am afraid,” said Blanche, “that our
+hearts are not formed to be united: we had
+better agree upon one point—to part.”</p>
+
+<p>“There it is!” exclaimed Rushton; “the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</span>truth is out. You have now declared yourself;
+you hate me—you cast me off. I knew
+there was some new attachment formed. Yes,
+yes—we <em>will</em> part, Miss Englefield. There is
+a woman in the world, thank Heaven! who has
+a better opinion of me than you have: from
+<em>her</em> gentle heart my wounded spirit may find
+relief.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said Blanche, “I am quite aware of
+that lady’s name. Go, sir—leave me: let this
+be our last interview.”</p>
+
+<p>Blanche spoke these words with so much
+firmness, that she began to be afraid Rushton
+would take her at her word; nor did Rushton’s
+answer much relieve her apprehensions.</p>
+
+<p>“So be it!” said he. “I will conquer this
+feeling—I <em>will</em> love where my love can be
+returned. But, madam, I insist upon one thing—tell
+me, who is the man who has supplanted
+me in your affections.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Blanche smiling—“should I do
+that?”</p>
+
+<p>“Why?” exclaimed Rushton—“because he
+shall at least set his life upon the hazard.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</span>Name him to me, I desire: tell me where he is
+to be found, and if——”</p>
+
+<p>“Mr. Rushton,” said Blanche, “I wish you
+a good morning. Whenever you are reasonable,
+and can conduct yourself temperately, I
+will explain my conduct to you. In your present
+state of excitement, I must leave you.”</p>
+
+<p>Saying which, the fair creature quitted the
+room, leaving the infuriated victim of love and
+jealousy in an agony of despair.</p>
+
+<p>The moment she was gone, he stared wildly
+round. In the crowd of conflicting passions
+which now assailed him, anger was in the ascendant;
+and, snatching his hat from the table,
+he rushed down stairs and quitted the house,
+swearing, almost audibly, that he never would
+enter it again.</p>
+
+<p>It was clear that the project of the ladies
+had been so far successful as to set the whole
+mass of affections and feelings of the two gentlemen
+into a state of fermentation; because,
+while this scene was acting at the widow’s, Sir
+Charles Lydiard had been to his hotel, where
+he found no note from the lady, and whence,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</span>after waiting a much longer time than would have
+been occupied in its transmission by her servant,
+he proceeded to take his ride, with a distracted
+brain, having come to a determination that
+the next day should conclude his acquaintance
+with the avowed and self-convicted coquette,
+who had now proved what he had long suspected,
+that she was merely playing a game with him
+for her own diversion. In this critical juncture
+we must for the present leave them, in
+order to introduce the reader to some new arrivals,
+as well as to give him some information
+of the convalescent mother, her dutiful daughter,
+and the philanthropic physician.</p>
+
+<p>The amiable person last named continued his
+attentions to the widow Brown and her daughter:
+his visits became diurnally regular; and
+the satisfaction he derived from the recovering
+health of the one, and the improving spirits of
+the other, assumed a character which became
+evident to both. The anxiety he expressed for
+their comfort, the assiduous attention with
+which he contrived little surprises in the way
+of excursions in the neighbourhood of their
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</span>present residence, which he represented as conducive
+to the re-establishment of his patient,
+were marks of a feeling not to be concealed or
+disguised; nor, to say truth, did Mead appear
+at all desirous of practising any delusion upon
+either of his new friends. It was perfectly
+clear that he had formed an attachment, which
+from its nature and principle promised to be
+permanent.</p>
+
+<p>Mead had watched the conduct of Anne during
+the illness of her mother, had attentively
+regarded the workings of her mind, and had
+satisfied himself that she possessed every attribute
+desirable in a wife. Their acquaintance
+had commenced, and his acquaintance with her
+mother had been renewed, under circumstances
+which gave a deep interest in his mind to her fate
+and fortunes. Mead was one of those modest,
+unassuming men, who once in an age attain to
+eminence without having forced their way by impudent
+assurance, or having been pushed forward
+by favouritism or connexion. Success had
+not spoiled him; and while rising to the first
+rank in his profession, he was the same gentle,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</span>unassuming, affectionate being that he was,
+while toiling up the “steep ascent to fame.”</p>
+
+<p>It was not that Dr. Mead entertained the unfavourable
+opinions of the higher classes, which
+it is the continual effort of the lower orders to
+inculcate; but he felt the absolute necessity of
+something like parity of rank between the contracting
+parties to secure happiness in marriage.
+The daughter of a merchant, even though unfortunate,
+was neither so much inferior nor superior
+to the son of a country clergyman as to
+make the inequality of station seriously objectionable;
+and in Anne, Dr. Mead persuaded himself
+he perceived qualities and feelings calculated
+to sweeten the draught of life, and which would
+worthily adorn the partner of his future days.
+In his conduct in this affair there was nothing of
+romance or violence of passion. Indeed his love
+was what a romantic girl would consider extremely
+unsatisfactory—it was rational esteem founded
+upon conviction; and their intercourse was
+so unmixed with any of those flights in which
+such persons as Miss Englefield and Mr. Rushton
+were perpetually engaged, that, when the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</span>doctor made his declaration, it seemed as if it
+were the inevitable consequence of their constant
+association; and Anne’s acceptance of his
+offer, under the sanction of her delighted mother,
+was as calm and collected as if it were not the
+great deciding event of her life, and one which
+could only be looked upon as the happiest that
+had ever yet occurred in it.</p>
+
+<p>It may be that this calmness, and her apparent
+unconsciousness of the wonderful importance
+of the match in a worldly point of view,
+might have arisen in some degree from the
+recollection which never fades from woman’s
+mind, of her first love. Unworthy as he had
+proved himself, and changed so much from his
+former self, he still perhaps retained some hold
+on the heart he had betrayed, and would with
+callous indifference have broken:—these recollections
+might have had their share in producing
+the effects which, although Mead appeared
+perfectly satisfied with the gentleness of Anne’s
+conduct, were by no means agreeable to her
+mother, whose gratitude to Providence for what
+had occurred was unbounded.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</span></p>
+
+<p>There was another point which was necessarily
+to be brought under discussion, to which
+Anne felt a diffidence and difficulty in alluding—the
+position of her brother George in society,
+and his close connexion with the doctor’s heartless
+rival. These matters, interwoven as they
+were with the probable renewal of her acquaintance
+with Brag when his sister should
+return to England, and the consciousness that
+she had committed herself by an acknowledgment
+of her attachment to him, preyed upon
+her spirits, and the brightness of her present
+prospects was marred by clouds, which, like
+the few existing professors of Nauscopy, she
+could behold in the far distance before they
+were visible to ordinary eyes. To the suspense
+in which the heart and mind are constantly
+kept by a protracted anticipation of coming
+evils, which, however remote, are sure to come,
+poor Anne, it must be owned, was a victim,
+and her efforts to rally from it were altogether
+unavailing.</p>
+
+<p>We have all felt that the most serious ills,
+or the most painful discussions, which have
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</span>occurred to us, or in which we have been engaged,
+have, when they actually arrived, turned
+out not half so serious or so painful as we have
+expected; and upon this principle Anne devoutly
+prayed that the <i lang="fr">denouement</i>, which she
+regarded with so much anxiety and dread,
+should arrive speedily. Her mother, to whom
+she imparted so much of her uneasiness as related
+to the announcement to her future husband
+of her brother’s rank in the army, assured
+her that nothing was to be apprehended on that
+score; that a man who had selected as a wife,
+the daughter of a distressed and needy woman,
+would not shrink from the fulfilment of his
+pledge to her, because her brother had been
+compelled to enter an honourable service even
+in its lowest grade.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Brown was a woman of good sense, but
+whatever Mead’s character and disposition might
+be, there is, in point of fact, as far as worldly
+matters go, a wide difference in the feelings of
+a man towards the female and male connexions
+of a family: a pretty milliner, or a smart actress,
+is a most agreeable <i lang="la">pro tempore</i> companion;
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</span>and there is not a man who would object to
+take either, to any of the <i lang="fr">guinguettes</i> round
+town, in the bright blaze of sunshine to participate
+in the enjoyments of a Richmond stroll,
+or a Greenwich fish-dinner; but it would be
+rather a difficult matter to induce the same
+person to drive Jack Twigg, the brother of the
+one—or row Bill Bott, the father of the other—to
+either of those cockney Elysiums. The
+doctor was everything that could be amiable
+and generous, but the fact that the real nature
+of George’s service had never been imparted to
+him, but, on the contrary, the discussion had
+been carefully avoided, might of itself add to
+the objections which he might feel to having,
+by way of brother-in-law, a hard-fisted sergeant
+of a marching regiment.</p>
+
+<p>How he eventually was made acquainted
+with the facts, and what was the result of his
+knowledge of them as affecting his subsequent
+proceedings, the reader is soon destined to
+know: but as they are rather prominent features
+of our little history, it is right they should
+have a chapter to themselves.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</span></p>
+
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VIII">
+ CHAPTER VIII.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>A few days had only elapsed since the final
+arrangement of Anne’s marriage, when the anxiety
+and worry by which she was annoyed in
+not having explicitly told her future husband
+her brother’s history were terminated in a manner
+certainly neither expected nor anticipated
+by her.</p>
+
+<p>It was evening when the doctor made his
+appearance at the Tusculum, evidently excited—that
+is to say, rather more animated than
+usual—full of something which he was anxious
+to impart, and still more desirous of imparting
+without flurrying his companions:—to use a
+homely phrase, he had a good deal to say, but
+did not know exactly how to begin.</p>
+
+<p>The difficulty he felt, arose from two sources:—the
+first cause of his embarrassment was, the
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</span>consciousness that what he had to communicate
+could not fail, with all his caution, to
+awaken a combination of feelings in the minds
+of his hearers, the physical effect of which upon
+the constitution of the elder one he anticipated
+with some apprehension; and the other originated
+in the feeling that he was about to avow
+himself fully acquainted with every particular
+concerning a member of the family to which
+he was about to ally himself, whose name had
+scarcely ever been mentioned, and whose history
+had never been touched on.</p>
+
+<p>“I have news for you, ladies,” said Mead,
+after having talked upon some indifferent subjects,
+“which will surprise you; but I shall
+not tell you one word until you have promised
+me to behave calmly and temperately when I
+have told my story.”</p>
+
+<p>“News for <em>us</em>!” said Mrs. Brown.</p>
+
+<p>“News from afar,” said the doctor.</p>
+
+<p>The blood rushed into Anne’s cheeks. She
+was assured whence, and whence only, news from
+afar could come to <em>them</em>—Mead had heard of
+her brother—of the brother of whose position in
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</span>society she had avoided the mention—he knew
+it all—and not from her! She felt humiliated
+and abashed, and almost shuddered at the reflection
+that from mistaken pride,—unaccountable
+in a character like hers,—she had left the
+<span id="TN11">developement</span> of the whole family history to
+chance, by which, Mead had become possessed
+of every particular, and was of course convinced
+that Anne, with all her good qualities, was not
+entirely ingenuous. As it happened, the circumstances
+of the case were such as not to give
+that colouring to her conduct; but, on the
+contrary, to lead the doctor to admire the diffidence
+and modesty of both mother and daughter
+in not having spoken much more of such
+a son and brother.</p>
+
+<p>“Your son”—said Mead.</p>
+
+<p>“I knew it must be poor George!” exclaimed
+Anne.</p>
+
+<p>“Your son is expected home almost immediately,”
+said the doctor.</p>
+
+<p>“Thank God!” said Mrs. Brown: “he is
+alive then and safe. Three years have passed
+since the date of his last letter.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Dear, dear George!” said Anne—her joy
+still clouded by her self-condemnation.</p>
+
+<p>“When, my dear doctor,” said Mrs. Brown,
+“may we expect him?—and how have you
+heard this news?”</p>
+
+<p>“Promise me, both of you,” said Mead, “to
+hear what I have to say calmly, and I will tell
+you all. You have no reason for agitation;
+the news I bring is good—excellent! Now,
+recollect—no agitation——he is in England!”</p>
+
+<p>A flood of tears from the two listeners followed
+this announcement. I am not sure that
+the eyes of the narrator were quite dry.</p>
+
+<p>“Heaven be praised!” sobbed Mrs. Brown;
+“I shall see my dear, dear boy once more!”</p>
+
+<p>Anne remained mute, and motionless, and
+weeping.</p>
+
+<p>“Nay, ladies,” continued Mead, “I have
+seen him—have conversed with him,—and
+only succeeded by pointing out the absolute
+necessity of forbearance, in hindering his coming
+with me:—to-morrow you will clasp him to
+your hearts.”</p>
+
+<p>Had not the one reproach rankled in Anne’s
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</span>mind, her happiness would have been as perfect
+as her mother’s: as it was, she felt she
+would give the world to enquire more about
+him—about his wife—his family—his circumstances;
+but she was tongue-tied.</p>
+
+<p>“Is he well?” said his mother—“and is his
+wife with him?”</p>
+
+<p>“She is,” said Mead—“I have seen <em>her</em>
+too.”</p>
+
+<p>Another pang thrilled through Anne’s heart:—that
+wife was the sister of the man to whom
+she had herself been betrothed! The mother
+and daughter exchanged a look;—it was full of
+meaning, but incomprehensible to Mead.</p>
+
+<p>“I suppose she must be much altered,” said
+Mrs. Brown; “of that, however, <em>you</em> can be
+no judge, not having known her before she
+went abroad.”</p>
+
+<p>“She is a very lovely creature,” said Mead;
+and observing a sudden change in the expression
+of Anne’s countenance, he added—“not
+that I mean to make anybody jealous.”</p>
+
+<p>Anne coloured: she felt that they were travelling
+over mined ground:—that the most
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</span>natural thing in the world for George to have
+done when he found out the doctor, was to
+make some allusion to the brother of his wife
+with reference to his sister; and she began to
+worry herself into the belief that the whole
+history of the Brag affair had been detailed to
+her affianced lover, and that he was merely
+serpentining his way to the part of the details
+at which he might terminate his connexion
+with them altogether.</p>
+
+<p>“I never saw a sweeter expression of countenance!”
+continued Mead. “Her manners
+are perfect: in fact, nothing but a constant
+intercourse with the best society can give that
+sort of unconscious ease and gracefulness which
+seem inherent, and whose greatest charm is
+the total absence of effort or affectation.”</p>
+
+<p>Anne heard, and silently repeated to herself
+the words, “constant intercourse with the best
+society,” and her thoughts flew like lightning
+to the back parlour behind the shop, the dangling
+candles in front, the respectable Brag defunct,
+and his widow still extant; and the
+result of these hasty reminiscences was a confirmation
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</span>of her belief that Mead was proceeding
+in an ironical strain, utterly at variance as
+it was with the general simplicity and amiability
+of his character, in order eventually to
+explode the whole affair, indignant at the treatment
+he had experienced, and disgusted with
+the connexion he had so nearly made.</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said Mrs. Brown—and Anne would
+have given worlds that she had said nothing,—“she
+was always a smart, clever girl, and, I
+suppose, time has improved her into what she
+is.”</p>
+
+<p>“Her natural genius,” said Mead, “which,
+from some drawings I saw of hers, views of
+different parts of India, is evidently first-rate,
+has been—at least so your son told me—wonderfully
+improved by a residence in Italy, where
+art is so generally cultivated and understood;
+and her father, who, he says, was devoted to her,
+indulged her in a wish to reside upon the Continent
+for three years before his appointment.”</p>
+
+<p>The mother and daughter again exchanged
+looks. It became a doubt in both their minds
+whether Dr. Mead was suddenly seized with
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</span>madness, or whether their dear George had
+caught the infection from the Brag family,
+and had been imposing on him in the most outrageous
+manner.</p>
+
+<p>“I never heard of my daughter-in-law’s having
+been abroad,” said Mrs. Brown.</p>
+
+<p>“She never could have been,” said Anne.</p>
+
+<p>“All I know is this,” said Mead:—“a gentleman
+called upon me about one o’clock to-day.
+He sent in his card, and, upon seeing
+his name, it struck me that it must be your
+George, whom I had heard you occasionally
+mention. I had remarked that you did not
+speak much of him, and, as there are secrets in
+all families, I apprehended, although you never
+hinted it, that there might exist some disagreement
+amongst you with which I could have no
+concern whatever; still the similarity of name
+excited the opinion that it might be <em>him</em>. I
+immediately received him in preference to my
+waiting patients. He told me that as soon as
+he and his wife arrived in town, he proceeded
+to Walworth, where the people of the house
+directed him to me, as knowing all about you.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</span>Our conversation grew more and more interesting;
+and having, evidently to his surprise, and,
+I flatter myself, not a disagreeable one, told
+him the nature of my engagement to dear
+Anne, he insisted on accompanying me hither
+to clasp you in his arms. I positively refused
+that, and, by way of an intermediate bargain,
+he begged me the moment I had despatched
+my professional business to call upon him and
+his wife at Mivart’s Hotel, where they have
+taken rooms. I did so, was introduced, and,
+as I have told you, am quite delighted with
+both of them.”</p>
+
+<p>“Mivart’s Hotel!—taken rooms!”—another
+look was exchanged.</p>
+
+<p>“Did he tell you,” said Mrs. Brown, “whether
+he had any family?”</p>
+
+<p>“I think he said one boy,” replied Mead:
+“however, he will be here in the morning. I
+am not sure whether your daughter-in-law
+will come with him. She is in rather delicate
+health; and the journey from Falmouth, where
+they landed, coming immediately on a fortnight’s
+bad weather in the chops of the Channel,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</span>after a long voyage, is something formidable
+to a person who, like her, has been used to
+all the luxuries of life.”</p>
+
+<p>Another look,—and an extra one from Anne,
+who looked at Mead to see whether there were
+any visible alteration in his countenance; for
+all he said was perfectly incomprehensible to
+her—if <em>he</em> were sane and rational.</p>
+
+<p>“Did she,” said Anne, particularly anxious
+to discover the extent of her communication as
+to her brother’s engagement, as it might be
+called, with herself—“did she say anything
+about her brother?”</p>
+
+<p>“Brother!” said Mead; “no, my dear
+Anne; George, your brother, and my future
+brother-in-law, I hope,” (Anne blushed again,)
+“told me she was an only child.”</p>
+
+<p>“Did he?” said Mrs. Brown.</p>
+
+<p>“An only child!” said Anne—and they were
+both more mystified than ever. Anne, however,
+who was more feelingly alive to the actual
+position of her brother, ventured a little
+farther: “Has George,” said she, “obtained
+any promotion since we heard from him?”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</span></p>
+
+<p>“That,” said Mead, “is a question I cannot
+very satisfactorily answer. His card was a
+written one, and the name ‘Mr. Brown.’ As I
+before told you, my dear Anne, the name itself
+was enough for me.”</p>
+
+<p>This little speech tended very considerably
+to calm poor Anne’s doubts and fears. Whatever
+had occurred, it was clear that neither
+George nor Kate had touched upon the subject
+of her former engagement, and she began to
+take courage and feel more at ease than she
+had been during the earlier part of the conversation.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Brown’s delight at the prospect of again
+seeing her son was not a little qualified by the
+mystification which Mead’s account of him and
+his wife involved, and she longed for bed-time, in
+order to talk over the circumstances with her
+daughter. Her confidence in George’s veracity
+rendered her suspicious of the doctor’s accuracy;
+and out of both she established an idea that
+the Mr. Brown of whom they had been talking
+must be neither more nor less than some dashing
+swindler, who proposed to cheat the doctor,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</span>or somebody else, by pretending a relationship
+to the family with which he was about to connect
+himself.</p>
+
+<p>Of course, so long as the conversation lasted,
+George and his wife were the leading subjects
+of it; not that the doubts and surmises of the
+ladies were at all calmed or diminished by hearing
+Mead detail the particulars of a visit paid to
+Mr. Brown, during the time he was at the hotel,
+by one of the most fashionable coachmakers in
+town, to receive Mrs. Brown’s orders with regard
+to a carriage which was to be put in hand
+immediately, and finished as soon as possible.</p>
+
+<p>At last the trio separated for the night, the
+doctor well pleased to have found in his brother-in-law
+a gentleman so agreeable and highly respectable,
+but wondering more than ever that
+he should have suffered his mother and sister
+to exist in the manner they were living at Walworth,
+and where, had it not been for the accidental
+circumstance of Anne’s application to him,
+they would in all probability have been living
+still; and coupling these matters with the looks
+which he could not at length fail to see Mrs.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</span>Brown and her daughter interchange, he unsettled
+his mind into a belief that there must be
+some mystery in the affair, of which he should
+like to be master.</p>
+
+<p>“My dear Anne,” said Mrs. Brown, as she
+threw herself into the armed chair in her bedchamber,
+“what on earth can all this mean?
+Delighted as I am at the prospect of so soon
+seeing my boy, I am astounded and astonished
+at what Mead tells us. What can have happened
+to George, to induce him to talk and
+act as he represents him to have done this
+morning?”</p>
+
+<p>“I,” said Miss Brown, “cannot comprehend
+it. But I am even more surprised at
+what he has <em>not</em> said to Robert, than at what
+he <em>has</em>. He may have made money; he may
+be able to live at an expensive hotel; and he
+may be able to let Kate have a carriage: but
+one would have thought one of his first enquiries
+would have been after his brother-in-law.
+Now, of Jack, it is clear he never spoke;
+for if he had, and before Robert had told him
+all, the chances are”—(here her voice faltered
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</span>a little)—“<em>my</em> name would have been mentioned
+too.”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear child,” said Mrs. Brown, “how
+should George afford any of the luxuries of
+which Mead speaks?—besides, knowing, as I
+do, the tenderness of his affection, and the generosity
+of his heart, do you think, if he had
+acquired anything like the property which this
+person seems to possess, that we should have
+been forgotten? No, no!—rely upon it, there
+is some great mistake in the business somewhere.
+George would never have left his mother and
+sister to work for their bread, if he had had
+the means of putting them at their ease.”</p>
+
+<p>“Besides,” said Anne, “when the whole of
+the conversation of <em>this</em> Mr. Brown with Robert
+is put together, it does not appear to contain
+one word in allusion to our family concerns.
+It is true, Mr. Brown went to Walworth,
+and was referred to Robert by Mrs. Hutchins;
+but, except a simple enquiry after our health,
+he seems to have made no allusion whatever to
+anything that happened either before his departure
+or during his absence. My belief is,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</span>like yours, that it is somebody who for some
+purpose has thought fit to personate George,
+although, to be sure, it would be difficult to
+conjecture for what.”</p>
+
+<p>“I would rather it were anything,” said
+Mrs. Brown, “than that my once honourable,
+high-minded boy should have endeavoured to
+impose upon Mead with such extraordinary
+falsehoods as those which it appears he must
+have told, if it be him.”</p>
+
+<p>“Besides,” said Anne, who grew energetic
+and eloquent as she proceeded, “Kate never
+<em>could</em> draw; the things she took home from
+school were all done by the drawing-master:
+and as for the Continent, she never was even as
+far as Calais.”</p>
+
+<p>“It seems to me, Anne,” said the matron,
+“to be one tissue of falsehood and pretension
+from beginning to end.”</p>
+
+<p>In this sort of condemnatory strain did Mrs.
+Brown and her daughter converse, till, twelve
+o’clock striking, they considered it proper to part
+for the night, in order to indulge themselves with
+a separate reconsideration of the whole affair.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</span></p>
+
+<p>The morning came—breakfast was eaten:—the
+doctor departed as usual for town, and the
+ladies began to count the minutes until George,
+or the person who had assumed his name,
+should make his appearance. At length the
+happy moment came; the old lady clasped her
+son to her heart, and the young one clung
+round the neck of her brother. George <span class="allsmcap">IT WAS</span>—that
+was clear; and although his features
+had become somewhat sharpened by time, and
+his complexion was mellowed into a durable
+brown by the effects of the climate, he was not
+so much altered as might have been expected.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, my dear mother,” said George, as
+soon as he could collect himself sufficiently to
+speak, “what gratitude do we not owe to
+Providence! As far as Anne is concerned, I
+am delighted with her choice: I wanted nothing
+but her comfortable establishment in life
+to make me perfectly happy.”</p>
+
+<p>“And how is your wife, George?” said his
+mother; “our doctor says she is in delicate
+health.”</p>
+
+<p>“She is, I am sorry to say, a sad invalid,”
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</span>said George. “I hope, however, her native
+climate, unfavourable as it is to foreigners, may
+restore her. She was very anxious to come
+with me to-day, but she really is not strong
+enough to bear even so short an excursion.”</p>
+
+<p>“We have seen scarcely anything of Brag
+since you went,” said Mrs. Brown, anxious as
+much as possible to soften down his infamous
+conduct, out of respect to the feelings of his
+blameless sister.</p>
+
+<p>“I rejoice to hear it,” said George. “I
+trust I never may have the misfortune of seeing
+him again.”</p>
+
+<p>“But I suppose,” said Anne, who was always
+for peace-making, “you <em>will</em> see him for
+the sake of my sister-in-law?”</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t imagine,” said Mr. Brown, “that
+your sister-in-law is very likely to see much of
+<em>him</em>. In fact,” continued he, “I think, when she
+gets strong enough, we shall in all probability
+go to the Continent, unless perhaps I should stop
+a month or two in England for a little shooting.”</p>
+
+<p>Here the ladies exchanged looks of a similar
+character to those of the night before.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</span></p>
+
+<p>“To be sure,” continued he, “whatever
+miseries and unhappinesses I may have undergone
+since we parted, my career has been one
+of the most extraordinary, and most prosperous,
+that man ever ran. How I have deserved
+such blessings, I know not.”</p>
+
+<p>“What rank have you now in the army,
+George?” said his mother.</p>
+
+<p>“Army!” said her son; “you know I have
+left the army.”</p>
+
+<p>“Left it!” exclaimed the old lady, more
+confirmed than ever in the suspicion that something
+was wrong somewhere and somehow:—“why
+then, how do you live?”</p>
+
+<p>“How!—as a man of fortune should live,”
+said George,—“upon my property.”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear George,” said Anne, “what <em>are</em>
+you talking of?”</p>
+
+<p>“Nothing but what you know of,” replied he.</p>
+
+<p>“We know of nothing, my dear boy,” said
+Mrs. Brown, “but of your having been made
+clerk to Sir Cadwallader Adamthwaite’s secretary.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why, my dear mother,” said George, “I
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</span>never made a remittance to you without writing
+fully upon all my affairs.”</p>
+
+<p>“Remittance!” said Mrs. Brown.</p>
+
+<p>“Letters!” said Anne—“my dear brother,
+we have not received a line from you for upwards
+of three years; and, during all our distresses,
+your silence caused perhaps the keenest
+pang of all.”</p>
+
+<p>“Distresses!” exclaimed George—“why this—what—three
+years!—there have been roguery
+and robbery here! From the moment my fortunes
+changed, I regularly remitted you as much
+as my means would afford; and although wondering
+never to have heard from you through
+the agent whom I directed to forward my letters
+to you, and to receive any you chose to
+trust to his care, I felt assured by his answers
+that your silence was a matter of choice; and,
+ascertaining through him that you were both
+well, contented myself with fulfilling my duty
+and gratifying my inclinations, without waiting
+for reply or acknowledgment. The truth will
+be easily discovered. This very agent, I find
+on my arrival here, has failed, and is recently
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</span>dead; I have, of course, had no time to investigate
+his affairs, but I very much fear I shall
+be an eventual loser of four or five thousand
+pounds by him.”</p>
+
+<p>Here the ladies looked at each other again.
+Anne had read in some book something about
+shaking the pagoda tree in India, but it seemed
+as if her brother must have picked it clean.</p>
+
+<p>“Three years!” said George—“why then
+you know nothing of the leading events of my
+life—of the entire change in my circumstances.”</p>
+
+<p>“I see you are in mourning, George,” said
+Anne, who did not know how to ask for
+whom?</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said George, “I am sorry to say I
+am—for my father-in-law; a more generous-hearted,
+noble-minded man, never lived.”</p>
+
+<p>“In mourning for poor Mr. Brag, now!”
+said his mother.</p>
+
+<p>“Brag!” said George—“I sicken at the
+very name.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, George,” said Anne, “consider Kate!”</p>
+
+<p>“Kate!” exclaimed Brown, turning deadly
+pale—“Kate!—Oh! Anne, it must be more
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</span>than three years since you got any of my letters.—Lost,
+wretched woman!”</p>
+
+<p>“Lost!” said Anne—“why, is not she at
+the hotel?”</p>
+
+<p>“In her grave!” said George, “a grave which
+closed upon a life of wantonness and disgrace.”</p>
+
+<p>“Then you are married again?” said Anne.</p>
+
+<p>In answer to this question, it seems better to
+adopt the narrative style, inasmuch as many
+circumstances had occurred during the period
+of George’s involuntary cessation of correspondence
+with his mother, which it would be difficult
+for him personally to describe or explain.</p>
+
+<p>The reader has traced the career of Mr.
+George Brown up to the point of his becoming
+clerk to the military secretary of Sir Cadwallader
+Adamthwaite. His readiness, activity,
+and assiduity, were so remarkable, that
+the general, who was one of the kindest-hearted
+men upon the face of the earth, took the trouble
+to ascertain the particulars of his history;
+and finding him to be in every essential point a
+gentleman, resolved on procuring him a commission
+in the army, which he did; and when it
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</span>was obtained, and George appointed, the clerk
+was dignified into assistant military secretary,
+and the assistant military secretary became one
+of the general’s family.</p>
+
+<p>It was during a year or fourteen months of
+probation before the arrival of his commission,
+that Mrs. George Brown (<i lang="fr">née</i> Brag) began to
+evince very strong symptoms of a propensity,
+which even the thirst produced by a hot climate
+cannot justify in one of the “fair sex,” as
+her brother would call them; and upon more
+occasions than one, George, on his return from
+head-quarters, found her in a state which, as
+authors say who are not able to depict what
+they wish, “may be better imagined than described.”
+It rarely happens that when this
+vice exists in woman, it is the only one to which
+she sooner or later addicts herself. Grown reckless
+by habitual intemperance, her temper became
+violent; and impatient of rebuke, she taxed her
+husband with cruelty and inhumanity for merely
+remonstrating upon conduct so disgraceful
+to herself, and which must be so injurious to
+him. The most depraved women, however, find
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</span>admirers, and Mrs. Brown, degraded as she was,
+found hers. The justification she attempted to
+plead for the irregularity of her life was, the
+delusion which had been practised upon her
+by George as to the place she was to occupy in
+the world; that her husband’s rank, of course,
+excluded her from good society, such as, she
+said, “she had always been used to:” and, in
+short, having awakened from a dream of girlish
+love, she bitterly repented of the step she had
+taken, and became careless of everything but
+the gratification of her worst propensities.</p>
+
+<p>This career did not last long. It would be
+neither pleasant nor profitable to enter into the
+particulars of her unfortunate case; a few
+months’ intemperance brought her life to its
+close, and left George a widower, commiserated
+by his comrades rather for the sufferings he
+had undergone, than for the loss he had sustained.
+All these circumstances he had detailed
+in his missing letters to his mother, in one
+of which he had also communicated the intelligence
+of his wife’s death to her surviving parent;
+but, with great goodness of heart and tenderness
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</span>of feeling, avoiding all mention of the
+unhappy circumstances in which she died.</p>
+
+<p>If George and Kate had given themselves time
+to consider the step which they unfortunately
+took, and had not been blinded by youthful love,
+they could have anticipated nothing but evil
+from such a marriage. Kate was evidently
+labouring under the belief that George was an
+officer; and the question whether his rank would
+enable her to live with people such as she had
+been accustomed to visit and receive, never entered
+her mind. She first began to feel her difficulties
+when she embarked on board the ship
+which was to take them to India; but even
+<em>there</em> the superiority of her manners induced
+a special attention to her, and infinitely better
+accommodation was contrived for her than
+she had any <em>right</em> to: in short, from the moment
+they were fairly launched in the world,
+and she saw the path she had chosen, she became
+fretful and irritable, her pride wounded
+by finding herself unable to speak to, or associate
+with the wives of the officers with whom
+she was domesticated, and her vanity hurt by
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</span>being permitted to stand in the verandah of
+the mess-room, <em>to look in and see</em> the company
+dancing when the officers gave a ball.</p>
+
+<p>That it <em>was</em> humiliating and provoking nobody
+can deny, but she ought to have calculated
+upon such evils before she married; that
+is, if she knew enough of “the service” to enable
+her to appreciate the relative value of its different
+ranks: however, it is not my province to
+reason upon the wisdom or propriety of her
+early proceedings. Her ruin and fall may be
+fairly traced to her first great act of filial disobedience;
+and her fate adds another to the
+numerous instances already upon record, of the
+ill-success of runaway matches.</p>
+
+<p>The day on which Ensign Brown made his
+first appearance in Sir Cadwallader Adamthwaite’s
+drawing-room, was a most important
+era of his life; and when he found himself
+warmly received by the general, and presented
+<i lang="la">pro formâ</i> to his daughter, who, of course, knew
+him perfectly well by sight, he could not restrain
+a feeling of regret that his unfortunate
+wife had not so conducted herself through what
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</span>he admitted to have been a trial, that she
+might have overcome all the hardships she had
+previously endured, and have enjoyed the satisfaction
+of finding herself placed by her husband’s
+promotion, in society from which her
+girlish thoughtlessness had excluded her.</p>
+
+<p>Sir Cadwallader’s kind act of justice to the
+merits of Ensign Brown gave general satisfaction,
+and met with universal approbation;
+and he was welcomed to the mess of his regiment
+with the most unequivocal marks of friendship
+and esteem. His official avocations prevented
+his doing regimental duty, and his evenings
+were occupied in a participation in the pleasures
+of Sir Cadwallader’s hospitable mansion.</p>
+
+<p>It might displease the reader if I were to
+doubt that he anticipates the result of this
+introduction of the ensign into the house of
+the general. He most probably guesses rightly;
+but as there <em>are</em> circumstances which render
+the case somewhat dissimilar from most others,
+he must be told the particulars.</p>
+
+<p>Ellen Adamthwaite, Sir Cadwallader’s daughter,
+was the beloved of his heart. Her mother
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</span>had died young—a mother from whom Sir
+Cadwallader had received, besides the most
+endearing proofs of constancy and affection, the
+vast fortune which he possessed, and which enabled
+him to support <i lang="fr">en prince</i> the highest offices,
+to which his noble profession and his gallant
+conduct had led him. Upon Ellen—the dear,
+the gentle Ellen—the love, the devotion, which
+once was her mother’s due, devolved at her
+mother’s death: and although Ellen, who was
+everything father could desire, could not but
+feel conscious of her power over him, she was
+the least presuming of daughters, the most
+gentle, and most amiable of girls.</p>
+
+<p>When Sir Cadwallader was offered the commandership-in-chief
+and second seat in council
+at the presidency to which he was attached, he
+accepted it, upon the chivalrous feeling of the
+greatest soldier, not only of the day, but of the
+land we live in—that he was the King’s servant,
+and equally bound to obey his commands
+in the highest and lowest of offices; and although
+possessed of wealth which rendered the
+appointment pecuniarily unimportant, he readily
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</span>relinquished his domestic ease and comfort for
+the more <em>negatively</em> active domination over an
+Oriental army.</p>
+
+<p>While holding this appointment, his constant
+endeavour appeared to be, to make everybody
+happy around him. There was nothing in the
+state of the country which seemed to require
+any of the austerity of military discipline; and
+the routine duty, although comprehending an
+extensive range, was not that which required the
+vigilance and activity of war. He “took the
+thing easy” himself, and his greatest pleasure
+was to see everybody subordinate to himself do
+exactly the same. He never grumbled if he
+saw men in “mufti” or “white jackets;” desired
+every man to “make himself comfortable”
+when he came to dinner; and, in short, was
+about the best-natured being that ever melted
+under an Indian sun.</p>
+
+<p>That he had taken a great fancy to Brown
+was clear. Major Mopes, whose death-like
+countenance never relaxed into a smile, but of
+whom Sir Cadwallader had the highest opinion,
+inasmuch as he saved His Excellency all
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</span>the trouble, not only of writing but of thinking,
+had spoken very highly of George, and enlarged
+upon the meritorious course he had pursued
+in entering the army, as he had done, in order
+to relieve his mother, who <em>had been</em> in such a
+different position in society, from all charge
+for his support. This recommendation led Sir
+Cadwallader to talk to him: he found him well-informed,
+well-read, intelligent, and, in fact, a
+gentleman. The prepossession thus created,
+and which went to the extent of procuring him
+the commission, extended further, and the only
+phrase—it is a simple one, and best suits the
+general’s feeling, is,—“he liked him.”</p>
+
+<p>How often such prepossessions take hold of
+people, and how seldom are they erroneous!—how
+unaccountable are the sympathies by
+which such prepossessions are created! The
+moment Sir Cadwallader heard George’s story,
+and received the testimonials of his merit and
+ability, he resolved to serve him,—and, in
+fact, to restore him to his place in society as a
+gentleman, which he pronounced him to be to
+his daughter, while he was yet his secretary’s
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</span>clerk, as he was sitting with her in the windward
+<span id="TN12">varhandah</span> smoking his chilum.</p>
+
+<p>Ellen Adamthwaite, who, of course, saw
+George almost every day, accidentally, or perhaps
+incidentally, could not help participating
+in the interest which her father took in his fate,
+especially as the history of his wife’s misconduct
+and death were matters of notoriety in
+the family, from Major Mopes’s frequent recurrence
+to the circumstance of their elopement
+from England,—and the commiserating “What
+a pity it is that nothing can be done to reclaim
+a person originally so respectable!” which was
+so often on his lips.</p>
+
+<p>When George became by royal authority a
+gentleman, and Ellen found she might look at
+him, and even speak to him, without any indecorum,
+she certainly felt more than ever the
+hardship of his case while doing the duty which
+his filial affection had imposed upon him, even
+regretting, as he did himself, the cause which,
+no doubt, was truly assigned for his wife’s distressing
+dereliction from every religious, moral,
+and social duty.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</span></p>
+
+<p>Nothing more readily excites an interest
+in a woman’s heart than a bit of the romance
+of real life. George, selected by her kind-hearted
+father for favour and promotion, was
+brought into her society the son of a ruined
+merchant, who had received the education of a
+gentleman, and had been educated in the expectation
+of succeeding to his father’s wealth.
+He enters the army as a private soldier, to relieve
+his mother from the burthen of maintaining
+him, and he elopes with a girl who is desperately
+in love with him. In his past life, therefore,
+there appeared a combination of events,
+sufficiently romantic to awaken a particular feeling
+towards him; and it was not many days
+after his domestication at the general’s, before
+Ellen found her eyes resting upon his intelligent
+countenance much oftener than upon any
+other object in the room.</p>
+
+<p>There was a manly modesty in George’s manner—a
+sort of consciousness of what he might
+have been, of what he had been, and yet, of
+what he <em>was</em>, which was peculiarly conciliating.
+Sir Cadwallader lost no opportunity of bringing
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</span>him forward. It seemed, indeed, to be his
+study to make him appear to the best possible
+advantage in company, in order, as it might
+be thought, to justify the partiality he had
+evinced for him, and the good opinion he entertained
+of him.</p>
+
+<p>In London the circle is so extensive, that
+although some hundred or two people whisper,
+and look wise, and nod and wink at each other
+when a flirtation becomes a little too evident,
+there are seven or eight hundred others to whom
+it is a matter of no interest; and, moreover,
+whatever people think, they keep their thoughts
+as far distant as possible from the flirters
+themselves. Within the confined ring-fence
+of an Indian presidency, the slightest movement
+of that nature at head-quarters creates a
+universal sensation; all the worst passions of
+mankind are concentered and pemmican’d in a
+little community of that sort; envy and jealousy
+assume the garb of friendship and esteem;
+and some miserable wretch, whose hatred towards
+one of the parties has been engendered
+or fostered by the remembrance of a slight or
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</span>neglect, thinks it a duty he owes to so excellent
+a man as his Excellency the commander-in-chief,
+to mention to him what people say about
+his daughter and Mr. Somebody, whose society
+and conversation she happens to prefer to that
+of the considerate friend of her father.</p>
+
+<p>Two months had not flown over George’s
+head in his new capacity before the whole tribe
+were in motion. “To be sure,” says one, “Sir
+Cadwallader is an extraordinary man:—he
+can’t but see it.” “Perhaps he does not
+object to it,” says another. “La!” cries a
+third: “what! let his daughter marry a man
+from the ranks!” “Hush!” says a fourth—“the
+less we say about <em>that</em> the better: rose
+from the ranks himself.” “Flogged at Chatham
+for stealing a cock turkey,” says a fifth.
+“Hush!” says a sixth, “here comes his Excellency.”
+Out turns the guard—ruffle goes the
+drum—rattledum slap go the muskets—and
+his Excellency is immediately surrounded by
+the little group in the full exercise of Koo-too-ism,
+who, the moment before, were exercising
+their historical and biographical faculties in
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</span>commenting upon the folly of his Excellency’s
+conduct, and in descanting upon the obscurity
+of his Excellency’s birth.</p>
+
+<p>That Ellen and George were somehow more
+paired off together, than any other two of the
+party, is most certain. In her conversation
+with him she did not disguise her esteem and
+regard for his good qualities, which made
+themselves evident upon every possible occasion;
+while <em>he</em>, regarding her as a superior
+being, felt that sort of admiration which wise
+men say is not compatible with tenderness.
+The whole economy of love, however, is so intricate,
+so perplexing, so mysterious, and so
+perilous, that there exists no rule throughout
+the whole system without an exception.</p>
+
+<p>George once or twice thought that Miss
+Adamthwaite looked more than she said; and
+though he had not sufficiently considered the
+matter even to assure himself that of all girls
+in the world she was the very last for whom
+he ought to encourage an affection, a word
+dropped by one of his friends on the staff, suddenly
+brought to his mind the real position in
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</span>which he was placed. Then it was he taxed
+himself with selfishness in seeking her society;
+then it was he resolved to alienate himself from
+the delight which her conversation and accomplishments
+afforded him:—he would mix more
+generally in society; he would dine abroad
+whenever he could, and would go out immediately
+after his official business was over; he
+would not go to tiffin, nor walk for an hour or
+two with Ellen in the varhandah: in short, he
+would not endanger her peace or comfort by
+giving occasion for remarks, which although
+wholly without foundation, might wound her
+feelings or injure her reputation.</p>
+
+<p>It was not till the moment he made these
+resolutions that the real state of his heart
+became known to himself. It was only <em>then</em>
+he discovered that he could not act upon
+his own determination. When tiffin was announced
+the next day, Sir Cadwallader forced
+him to stay and partake of it—desired his
+daughter to lay <em>her</em> commands upon him:—then,
+by his Excellency’s orders, they played
+chess together,—and then came in some visiters—George,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</span>of course, could not leave <em>them</em>:—and
+then—and then—in fact, the very first day
+after <em>that</em> in which he had decided upon a total
+alteration in his proceedings, was passed precisely
+as the thirty or forty preceding days had
+been passed.</p>
+
+<p>It is a generally admitted axiom, that “abstinence
+is less difficult than moderation;” and
+so it seems thought George: for failing in his
+project of philosophically decreasing his happiness
+gradually, he came to the resolution of
+abandoning it altogether.</p>
+
+<p>The project George meditated to carry this
+“stern resolve” into execution, was one which
+did honour to his heart; but it required a confederate,
+and that very circumstance enhanced
+its difficulty. The moment he had ascertained
+the real state of his feelings, he more attentively—perhaps
+tenderly would be a better
+word—watched the dear girl to whom he was
+devoted. It was too true:—looks and actions
+which he had attributed to friendship, or even
+to a compliance with her father’s wishes, now
+that he had ventured to think of love, bore a
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</span>totally different character. Whatever dress he
+had accidentally praised, Ellen more constantly
+wore; the flower he preferred was always in
+her bosom; the songs he loved to hear, she
+sang; and opinions which he had once expressed,
+she adopted for her own.</p>
+
+<p>Oh! those who have never felt the tender, galling
+anxiety of a state like this, cannot appreciate
+George’s feelings during the week after he had
+made the discovery of his real position. What
+had he done?—gained the affections of his benefactor’s
+daughter! It was not vanity that suggested
+the truth: the word once spoken that
+gave <em>that</em> turn to his thoughts, decided it. The
+fascination was over him—he was conscious
+that he was beloved. How he acted under
+this impression remains to be seen.</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</span></p>
+
+
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_IX">
+ CHAPTER IX.
+ </h2>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>Amongst his friends—for of a few associates
+he had many—the friend George fixed upon
+as the one to aid him in his rescue from the
+commission of what he considered the damning
+crime of ingratitude, was the surgeon of his own
+regiment—a man of sense and shrewdness, and
+one who was professionally taciturn upon subjects
+not intended for general conversation:—to
+him, after mature deliberation, George proceeded,
+and having begged his private ear,
+told him he wanted his immediate aid.</p>
+
+<p>“What!—a duel?” said Dr. Short.</p>
+
+<p>“No, my dear doctor,” said George, “I am
+ill—seriously ill. I have a constant pain in
+my side. I ought not to stay here. I must
+resign my assistant-secretaryship and go home
+for my health. I want a sick certificate.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Umph!” said Short—“I see—yes—on
+which side is the pain—left—right?”</p>
+
+<p>“Intensely severe on the right side,” said
+George. “I cannot lift my arm perpendicularly
+without feeling the most excruciating torture.”</p>
+
+<p>“Umph!” said the doctor. “You know
+what Abernethy said upon that point to the
+old woman who said the same thing to <em>him</em>—eh!—What
+a fool you must be to try!—eh!”</p>
+
+<p>“I assure you, doctor, mine is no laughing
+matter,” said George.</p>
+
+<p>“Let’s see your tongue. Umph!—clean as
+a whistle, and red as beet-root. Won’t do—eh!
+No tricks upon travellers—no case of
+liver. Can’t do what you want—or what you
+don’t want. Did Sir Cadwallader send you
+to me?”</p>
+
+<p>“No, indeed,” said George, “no human
+being is aware of my visit to you.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why did you make a secret of it, eh?”
+said Short. “Every man has a liver; every
+liver is subject to disease. What’s the use of
+mystery?”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</span></p>
+
+<p>“I know of no mystery,” said George.</p>
+
+<p>“Won’t do, Mr. Assistant-secretary,” said
+Short. “A surgeon ought to have an eagle’s
+eye, a lion’s heart, and a lady’s hand. Cannot
+say I have all those qualities; but as far as the
+eye goes, I think, I can see as far as my neighbours—eh!”</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t know what you should make a
+merit of seeing,” said George. “I have no
+disguises—I wish to be candid with you.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah!” said Short, “now I see. You want
+to tell me you have nothing the matter with
+you: and yet you want me to give you a sick
+certificate—eh!—that’s it—umph!”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear doctor,” said George, “I believe
+you <em>do</em> know something of my feelings, for you
+certainly have guessed my wishes. I am <em>not</em> ill,—at
+least in body; but I may be saved from
+being ill in body, in mind, in reputation, and
+in conscience, if you will but grant your fiat
+for shipping me to England.”</p>
+
+<p>“<em>I</em> know,” said Short, “you are as safe in
+<em>my</em> care as a baby on her mother’s bosom:—but
+I say—those grey eyes and black eyelashes
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</span>are the devil!—aren’t they?—umph!—sweet
+creature! Come, no nonsense, or you get no
+certificate. You know it is all mighty fine
+your coming to me, looking as mysterious as
+a playhouse conspirator: everybody here, except
+your two selves, and perhaps Sir Cad.
+knows the whole story.”</p>
+
+<p>“What story?” said George:—“no word
+has ever passed my lips—”</p>
+
+<p>“No: but a great many have passed the
+lips of other people,” said Short. “As for
+your own words, they are what we call superfluous—the
+eyes have it—eh!—umph!”</p>
+
+<p>“What you say, doctor,” said George,
+“makes me miserable.”</p>
+
+<p>“Very!” said Short. “I know—it makes
+every man miserable to have gained the affections
+of a charming, amiable girl, with a hundred
+and fifty thousand pounds:—it is quite a
+calamity! Poor Mr. Assistant-secretary!—you
+can’t think how I pity you!”</p>
+
+<p>“Doctor, this is no joking matter,” said
+George. “It is useless, I perceive, to attempt
+disguise with <em>you</em>: you have seen or heard
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</span>what I never suspected could have been even
+remarkable. If I wished your assistance upon
+this point when I came into this room, it is ten
+thousand times more desirable to me now.”</p>
+
+<p>“Umph!” said Short. “Why?”</p>
+
+<p>“Why!” exclaimed George:—“we have
+so suddenly and deeply plunged into this discussion;
+you assume so much, and I have such
+perfect faith and confidence in you, that—”</p>
+
+<p>“You are good enough to propose telling
+me what I know already,” interrupted Short.</p>
+
+<p>“No, not what you know already,” said
+George, “but what my resolution is. The
+general, in the outset of my career here, befriended
+me, espoused my cause, restored me
+to society, and made me what I am. I am admitted
+into his family, and I evince my gratitude
+to him for all his kindnesses by—”</p>
+
+<p>“—By permitting his daughter to fall in
+love with you!” said Short:—“how can <em>you</em>
+help that?”</p>
+
+<p>“If such should be the case,” said George,
+“it is my duty instantly to quit this place.”</p>
+
+<p>“To be sure!” said Short—“and add to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</span>all the other marks of your sense of the General’s
+obligations by leaving his only darling
+child to break her heart.”</p>
+
+<p>“Do not talk in this way, doctor,” said the
+assistant secretary, “it is I”—</p>
+
+<p>“Pshaw!” said Short. “No nonsense: stay
+where you are—I’ll give you no certificate.”</p>
+
+<p>“Then I must go without one,” said George.
+“Private business in England”—</p>
+
+<p>“Very private, indeed!” said Short. “I say,
+stay where you are.”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear friend,” said George, “it is impossible!
+What you have told me now, in
+addition to a remark which I accidentally overheard,
+renders it imperatively necessary that I
+should go. It is the only favour I have ventured
+to ask of you, or of any man since I have
+been here: grant me the certificate, let me
+show it to Sir Cadwallader, and tear myself
+away from the only place in the world where I
+care to live.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said Short, putting his finger to his
+nose—“mutual, I see. Umph!”</p>
+
+<p>“I did not say—”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Yes, you did,” said Short. “How do you
+know Sir Cad. will let you go?”</p>
+
+<p>“If he could,” said George, “which for
+worlds I would not he should, even fancy what
+is passing in this room, he would—”</p>
+
+<p>“What!” said Short—“do you think he
+does not know what is passing in your mind
+and that of Miss Ellen’s?”</p>
+
+<p>“What <em>is</em> passing in our minds?” asked
+George.</p>
+
+<p>“<em>Our</em> minds!” said Short—“umph!—that’s
+it—<em>our</em> minds! The glorious <em>we</em> of literature
+is not more commanding than the ‘our’ of
+you two. Why, you are over head and ears in
+love with each other, and you cannot help
+showing it wherever you are. I know the
+symptoms, Mr. Assistant-secretary—have had
+the complaint myself: so has Sir Cad.—a
+great practitioner in <em>that</em> way:—d’ye think he
+is blind?”</p>
+
+<p>“I know he is everything that is kind and
+good,” said George.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, then, perhaps his goodness and kindness
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</span>may go the length of wishing you to be
+his son-in-law,” said Short.</p>
+
+<p>“Impossible!” said George—“a creature
+he has made—”</p>
+
+<p>“Umph!” said Short,—“don’t see how
+that interferes—eh! You had better talk to
+<em>her</em> of your heart than to <em>me</em> of your liver.
+See what <em>he</em> says—or, if you don’t like that,
+<em>I</em> will.”</p>
+
+<p>“Doctor!” said George, looking extremely
+fierce.</p>
+
+<p>“I will,” said Short;—“that is to say, I
+shall tell his Excellency officially that you
+have applied for a sick certificate; and, if
+you’ll trust to me, I’ll work it to the best
+advantage. If Sir Cad. is crusty, you shall
+have it. A pain in the side makes no show:—I
+can’t tell whether you have a pain in
+your side or not. If he demur to your going,
+you shall be in excellent health; if he
+frown, and expresses a wish that way, you
+shall be shipped for Cheltenham in a fortnight.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</span></p>
+
+<p>“I knew,” said George, “you would be my
+friend.”</p>
+
+<p>“I <em>am</em> your friend,” said the doctor, “therefore
+I want you to stop. You have enemies
+here as well as your betters. Your going would
+be a triumph to some half-dozen of the fellows
+who have been dangling after Miss Ellen for
+the last two years, and who have never got so
+much as a smile from her for their pains. No,
+no: mark me, Mr. Assistant-secretary;—put
+the affair into my hands, and you shall have the
+sick certificate when <em>I</em> think you want it, and
+not before.”</p>
+
+<p>George, it must be confessed, was incalculably
+surprised at the evident notoriety of an attachment
+of which he even fancied himself unconscious
+only a few days before. That the lookers-on
+see more than the players, is generally said,
+and here was a proof of the correctness of the
+saying: the very circumstance, however, of its
+having become a topic of general conversation
+strengthened, as we have seen, his determination
+to put an end to the scandal through
+the aid of his friend Short.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</span></p>
+
+<p>Had he not been bound to his military duty
+by military law, his retreat could have been
+easily managed; but it was absolutely necessary
+that the very man from whom he wished
+to keep his motives for going, secret, should be
+the person, and the only person, who could dispense
+with his services, and grant him leave to
+put his plan into execution. As it was, he had
+only to trust to the doctor, whose proceedings
+he endeavoured to accelerate by pointing out
+to him the dangers of delay.</p>
+
+<p>That he was not slow to act, George soon
+discovered. At dinner the next day Sir Cadwallader
+began to throw out hints that he was
+aware of George’s intention of applying for
+the certificate, and in general terms censured
+the conduct of commanding officers who, by
+permitting themselves to be parties to a deception
+practised under the connivance of medical
+officers, committed themselves as accomplices
+to what, after all, however strong the
+phrase might sound, was little better than a
+deliberate fraud.</p>
+
+<p>“There’s jobbing all over the world,” said
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</span>his Excellency. “One is never safe. Any
+fellow that wants to shirk duty, makes friends
+with the doctor, and out comes a sick certificate.—What’s
+the matter?—liver, to be
+sure! As Short says, ‘Who can see a pain in
+the side?’”</p>
+
+<p>Nobody spoke, because nobody exactly comprehended
+what his Excellency meant by this
+gratuitous observation, except George, who felt
+himself get extremely red in the face,—a very
+natural consequence of being talked <em>at</em> by a
+commander-in-chief. Ellen did not know to
+whom the observation referred, and looked
+round the table to see if any of the half-dozen
+guests were affected. Her look rested on George:
+their eyes met: they both became suddenly
+embarrassed, and Sir Cadwallader, who was
+good at a long shot, saw the glance and the
+response, which confirmed his suspicions, and
+decided his course of conduct.</p>
+
+<p>The evening of this day was passed as agreeably
+as the evening before, but Ellen felt a
+difference in George’s manner towards her: she
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</span>could scarcely define what it was, or how to
+account for it, and yet it somehow connected
+itself in her mind with her father’s hypothetical
+observation at dinner. The guests departed,
+unregretted by either of the lovers, for so, unconsciously
+they were; and the party was reduced
+to a trio, composed of Sir Cadwallader,
+Ellen, and the assistant military secretary, who
+always lingered last of the throng, were it never
+so late.</p>
+
+<p>“So,” said Sir Cadwallader, after a short
+pause, “I suppose, Mr. Brown, you felt the
+force of my little remark at dinner about sick
+certificates—eh! I hope you did—it was
+meant expressly for <em>you</em>.”</p>
+
+<p>“Sir!” faltered George, anticipating the
+burst of displeasure which he was assured
+would follow this announcement.</p>
+
+<p>“Yes, sir,” said his Excellency, “I understand
+you have been applying to Short for one
+of those melancholy testimonials of ill health,
+with a liver as sound as a roach, and the constitution
+of a ploughman.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</span></p>
+
+<p>“I assure your Excellency,” said George,
+“that—I am not capable of deception upon
+any point:—I”—</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t know what you call deception, Mr.
+Brown,” said Sir Cadwallader; “you are in
+good health, and you want the doctor to say
+you are sick, in order to quit your duty, and
+leave those who wish you well.”</p>
+
+<p>Ellen, who began to feel extremely uneasy,
+and think her presence at such a scene was
+scarcely necessary, rose to depart.</p>
+
+<p>“Stay, Miss,” said the General—“wait to
+hear what the gentleman has to say for himself.”</p>
+
+<p>“Really, papa,” said Ellen—</p>
+
+<p>“Really, Miss,” said the General—“recollect
+I am commanding officer here: obey orders—sit
+you down, Miss. If you wished for
+leave of absence, Mr. Brown, why not have
+applied to me upon any fair ground? I hate
+shamming—eh!”</p>
+
+<p>“It is impossible,” said George, “for me
+either to extenuate or explain my fault. It is
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</span>now known to you, sir:—there can be no difficulty
+in my going <em>now</em>.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why so, sir?” said his Excellency.</p>
+
+<p>“You have exhibited my thoughtless—my
+ungrateful conduct, in its proper light,” said
+George: “I cannot—indeed, I cannot remain
+longer with you.”</p>
+
+<p>“Suppose, sir, I cannot spare you,” said the
+General.</p>
+
+<p>“<em>My</em> services, sir,” said, or rather sobbed,
+George, “are of no importance. I—”</p>
+
+<p>“That’s matter of opinion,” said the General.
+“But suppose <em>I</em> could manage without
+you—look at that young lady there—d’ye
+think <em>she</em> could spare you?”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, father!” said Ellen, who had sat
+trembling, and cold, and pale, during the
+conversation—“I—don’t wish to interfere.”</p>
+
+<p>“You don’t!” said Sir Cadwallader—“not
+interfere!—you <em>do</em> wish to interfere, Miss.
+Lord bless your heart! Elly,—haven’t I been
+young myself—eh? No, no, you can’t cheat
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</span><em>me</em>, cunning as you are:—you love this fellow,
+and he loves <em>you</em>.”</p>
+
+<p>“Father!” said Ellen.</p>
+
+<p>Brown said nothing, but looked as if the
+world was on the point of annihilation.</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t contradict me, Elly,” said the General:
+“where’s the harm?—where’s the wrong?
+When I heard George’s story, I was resolved to
+restore him to his proper place in society. I
+brought him into my house—into my family—and
+you have fallen in love with each other:—that’s
+<em>my</em> affair. What then? When I first
+knew your poor dear mother—the best of women
+and of wives!—what was I?—a subaltern—the
+second son of a grocer at Gloucester. That
+was it, George—her mother was an heiress.—It
+sounds vain now—she fell in love
+with me, as I did with <em>her</em>. Well, I became
+possessed of her fortune; <em>that</em> enabled me to
+purchase up in my profession: and if it had
+not been for that, I might have been now a
+hoary-headed lieutenant, or at best a captain
+of sixty-two, going through my daily ‘Halt—left
+wheel,’ till my legs ached, instead of being
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</span>here a titled and decorated commander-in-chief.
+What has that dear woman to whom, under
+Providence, I owe everything, left me?—this
+girl—this child of my heart—the dearest—the
+only object of my affections! Half a glance
+tells me the state of the case.”</p>
+
+<p>Ellen sat with her eyes fixed upon her father—George’s
+filled with tears—and what gem is
+brighter than a soldier’s tear so shed?</p>
+
+<p>“Your conduct, sir,” said the General, “has
+done you the greatest honour. I appreciate
+it in the highest degree. But it won’t do—go
+you do not. If my Elly here is foolish enough
+to sympathize with her father in his predilections,
+and chooses to give her heart to an ensign
+without a shilling, what am I to do?—why,
+I’ll tell you, Mr. Brown,—religiously to
+realize whatever wishes she may entertain, for
+the sake of her beloved mother, and to take
+care that she does not make a foolish match
+with somebody not half so worthy of her.”</p>
+
+<p>“My dear father,” said Ellen—</p>
+
+<p>“<i lang="la">Tace, tace!</i> daughter of mine,” said Sir
+Cadwallader:—“don’t coquet,—don’t try to
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</span>deceive me. George, come here:—I am serious—take
+her hand, my good, excellent fellow!
+You, who have been so admirable a son, cannot
+fail to make a good husband. This is my
+firm conviction.”</p>
+
+<p>“But, sir,” said Miss Adamthwaite, rising,
+“I”—</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said the general, “you don’t like
+him! Oh! that, indeed, is a different affair:—then
+I am out in my reckoning, and there’s an
+end of the business.”</p>
+
+<p>“I didn’t say,” said Ellen,—and bursting
+into tears, she caught her father round the
+neck, and her head dropped upon his shoulder.</p>
+
+<p>“Come here, George,” said Sir Cadwallader—“come
+here!—take her from me! I know
+what she means:—she is your’s!”—“I have
+neither chick nor child but this beloved one!”
+continued the General, who seemed to have
+caught the infection of weeping—“I have nobody
+to please but her and myself. I think I
+have taken the surest method of doing both.
+I hate fine speeches—I don’t want thanks—so,
+my dear souls, God bless you both! I’m
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</span>off—a syllable more from me would spoil it
+all. Talk over your own matters. Let these
+be the last tears I ever see you shed; and to-morrow
+the babblers, and tattlers, and scandal-mongers,
+shall have the pleasure of hearing
+how the old general has been fool enough to
+give his only daughter to a penniless subaltern!
+Good night! my children—good night!”</p>
+
+<p>Saying which, away went Sir Cadwallader,
+leaving the affianced lovers in a state of doubt
+whether they were awake or in a dream. George
+gazed on the blushing girl, even yet doubting
+whether she would fulfil her father’s intentions.
+Their eyes met:—those doubts vanished.
+Words were inadequate to the expression
+of their feelings:—he caught her in his arms
+and pressed her to his panting heart:—at
+which particular moment, Major Mopes, military
+secretary to his Excellency Sir Cadwallader
+Adamthwaite, and Captain Narcissus
+Fripps, his Excellency’s senior <span id="TN13">aide-du-camp</span>,
+passed along the varhandah, into which all the
+doors and windows of his Excellency’s drawing-room
+opened.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</span></p>
+
+<p>This exhibition of mutual tenderness was,
+it must be admitted, something likely to make
+a commotion in a small circle. It, however,
+produced effects upon the military secretary
+and the aide-du-camp of a totally different
+character. Major Mopes, who had the highest
+opinion of George, and whose praises of his
+conduct had mainly conduced to create the
+interest which the general took in him, was
+horror-stricken. The idea that <em>he</em> had been
+chiefly instrumental in bringing him into Sir
+Cadwallader’s family, the happiness of which
+he was now so evidently attempting to destroy,
+filled him with regret and indignation: all he
+hoped was, that his companion, Captain Fripps,
+might not have seen all that <em>he</em> had witnessed.
+He felt that if the secret were confined to himself,
+George might yet be saved; that an appeal
+to his sense of honour and right feeling
+would induce him immediately to withdraw
+himself from a sphere so dangerous as that
+in which he now was moving,—little thinking
+that George had decided upon doing so a
+week before.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</span></p>
+
+<p>The aide-du-camp, however, <em>had</em> seen the
+sight—which so startled him, that he, like the
+major, but from very different motives, did
+not speak a word. At the end of the varhandah
+they parted for the night, during which,
+while Major Mopes lay considering how he
+might best save George and Ellen, and smother
+the whole affair, the captain was arranging
+the manner in which it would be best to
+communicate the circumstance to the general
+so as to obtain the greatest possible credit for
+himself, and secure the immediate dismissal of
+his apparently favoured rival in the general’s
+consideration. For which purpose, the ingenuous
+and ingenious gentleman, instead of going to
+bed, as was his original intention, returned to
+the barracks and to the quarters of his bosom
+friend, Ensign Honeyman, whom he had just
+left, in order to avail himself of his advice:
+thus, in the very first instance, himself doing
+all the mischief to Ellen’s character and reputation,
+the preservation of which from injury
+was to be made the ostensible ground of his
+communication of the fact to her father.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</span></p>
+
+<p>Honeyman, who was the inseparable companion
+of Fripps, agreed entirely with his
+friend on the course to be pursued in order to
+overthrow Brown; and it was accordingly settled
+that the captain should, the very first
+thing in the morning, make a confidential report
+to his Excellency of what had occurred.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile the unconscious lovers, whose parting
+kiss formed the subject of contemplation for
+both the gallant heroes, were thinking of each
+other and of the happiness which had taken
+them so completely by surprise, that they could
+scarcely think what had passed during the evening
+anything but a bright, yet baseless vision.
+The old general was the only one of the inmates
+of the house who slept soundly. He went to bed
+to rest upon the consciousness of having made
+two people happy—of having realised his intentions
+of providing for George—and gratified his
+wish of giving Ellen the man to whom, insensibly
+and unconsciously, she had become devotedly
+attached:—and, above all this, he revelled
+in the pleasure of having found out their secret,
+and anticipated any communication on the subject
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</span>from either of themselves:—add to this,
+his just appreciation of George’s anxiety to
+quit the only place in the world which was
+dear to him—to surrender all the worldly advantages
+it afforded, to preserve the being he
+loved from the anger of her parent, the malice
+of her <em>friends</em>—or, putting it as an extreme
+case, the ills of a marriage with a man who
+would have nothing but an ensign’s half-pay,
+even if, under the circumstances, he could
+secure that—and the amount of Sir Cadwallader’s
+self-gratulation may be in some degree
+ascertained.</p>
+
+<p>The gun had scarcely announced the dawn
+of day when Captain Narcissus Fripps was up
+and stirring; there was no time to be lost.
+It was his turn to ride with the general before
+breakfast; the opportunity would be favourable;
+the success of the disclosure was unquestionable.
+The getting rid of George was his
+great object; for the captain’s jealousy of the
+interloper, as he considered him, was not so
+much excited by his evident success with the
+young lady, as by the favourable estimation in
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_290">[Pg 290]</span>which the young lady’s father held him and his
+character: and when jealousy takes possession
+of the mind, it leaves room for no other passions
+but such as may be made subservient to
+its own ends, and which may be called into
+action for its own revengeful gratification.</p>
+
+<p>Lavater says, that “he, who being master of
+the fittest moment to crush his enemy, magnanimously
+neglects it, is born to be a conqueror.”
+Captain Narcissus Fripps, whatever heroic
+deeds he might have been destined to do
+in other days, did by no means display this
+evidence of future success; and although George
+was neither his, nor any other man’s enemy, he
+resolved that two hours should not elapse before
+he was irrecoverably ruined in Sir Cadwallader’s
+estimation.</p>
+
+<p>The captain was a fair, sickly-looking man,
+always extremely well dressed, his hair assiduously
+ringleted on his cheeks and over his
+forehead. He wore divers rings upon his fingers,
+and sundry chains around his neck; his
+clothes fitted him as if they were his skin.
+His voice was drawling, and he lisped a little.
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_291">[Pg 291]</span>When he talked, he pawed the air with his hands
+flappingly, something after the fashion of a kangaroo;
+and when he wished to be particularly
+lively, playfully patted the arm of the person
+with whom he was conversing, affecting himself
+always to be excessively shocked at everything
+that everybody said to him: in short, nobody
+could exactly make him out. He was considered
+excessively fine—evidently fancied himself a
+beauty, and was not quite free from a suspicion
+of aiding nature in the getting up of his
+complexion, by borrowing a tinge from art.</p>
+
+<p>To have been treated neglectfully by a young
+lady of Ellen’s qualifications, and that she
+should so readily have permitted such marked
+advances on the part of one so unquestionably
+his inferior in rank and station, (for the
+Fripps’ blood had been ennobled in a remote degree
+from Narcissus,) was galling beyond measure;
+although his attentions to Miss Adamthwaite
+had never gone much farther than
+singing to her by moonlight, accompanying
+himself on the guitar, or making her a pair of
+card-racks, or painting a couple of rose-buds
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_292">[Pg 292]</span>on the top of a cotton box. If she sometimes
+worked at those often-mentioned, indescribable
+strips of muslin which engage the attention of
+modern fine ladies, he would thread her needle
+for her; and in winding off silk on his thumbs
+he was most assiduous and skilful. It was therefore
+the indignity which he considered the circumstance
+to involve, rather than the jealousy
+of a lover, which urged him on to ruin George.
+<em>His</em> fate, however, was sealed, and when the
+horses were at the door, Captain Narcissus felt
+his heart beat with anxiety for the discovery.
+“Lie still, little flutterer,” said he, as he pressed
+his hand to his bosom; and mounting his
+steed, rode slowly off with his Excellency the
+Commander of the forces, to make their accustomed
+matutinal excursion.</p>
+
+<p>Horseback, it must be confessed, whether
+the pace be a walk, trot, amble, canter, or
+gallop, is not altogether suitable or convenient
+for confidential communication; and
+when the captain found the general resolved
+upon adopting the penultimate pace of those
+enumerated, he felt the difficulty of breaking
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_293">[Pg 293]</span>the business to him insuperable. Indeed, Sir
+Cadwallader was not particularly partial to his
+aide-du-camp’s society, and preferred, when
+circumstances permitted, the company of Major
+Mopes, who, upon the morning in question,
+stayed at home to counteract, if possible, the ill
+effects of the representation which the captain
+went abroad expressly to make.</p>
+
+<p>After a start of a mile or so, Sir Cadwallader
+pulled up, and suggested to the captain that
+they should dismount, and walk up to a rising
+ground on the other side of a fordable nullah,
+in order to get a view of the town at a point
+from which Miss Adamthwaite had made a
+drawing, but which the general had himself
+never happened to visit. This was more fortunate
+for Narcissus than even <em>he</em> could have
+hoped; the place—the subject—all naturally
+tended to the point he had in view. The
+“little flutterer” would lie still no longer: the
+aptness of the opportunity delighted him, and
+he was decided to avail himself of it forthwith.</p>
+
+<p>“Were you here with Ellen when she made
+the sketch?” said Sir Cadwallader.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_294">[Pg 294]</span></p>
+
+<p>“Oh! dear, no, general,” said Fripps, “I
+never come out upon sketching parties with
+ladies: I shouldn’t think of doing such a
+thing.”</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t see the harm of it,” said his Excellency.
+“In Italy, Ellen used to pass the
+greatest part of the day in drawing from Nature:
+it would have been dull work if she had
+thought it necessary to have remained always
+alone.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, dear Italy!” said Narcissus, sighing
+and turning up his eyes—“the climate is so
+charming there.”</p>
+
+<p>“Climate makes no great difference in conduct,”
+said Sir Cadwallader.</p>
+
+<p>“No, to be sure,” said the captain, “but—I
+am so very particular, I never presume on
+the good-nature of the dear ladies. Indeed
+what I see going on with other people sometimes
+shocks me—not only on account of my
+own feelings as they regard delicacy, but as far
+as the honour and happiness of those I esteem
+and respect are concerned.”</p>
+
+<p>“Honour and happiness!” said the General,—“what
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_295">[Pg 295]</span>the deuce have honour and happiness
+to do with a water-colour drawing?”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh! dear no, general,” said the captain,
+pawing the air, “I did not say they had; but—perhaps
+to the artist they may be something.”</p>
+
+<p>“I hope, if you mean Ellen,” said Sir Cadwallader,
+“they have a great deal to do with
+her.”</p>
+
+<p>“Really, general,” said Fripps, “I don’t
+know what to say; but I have something to
+tell you which you ought to know.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why, then, out with it, Fripps,” said Sir
+Cadwallader.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh! I can’t tell you all at once,” said the
+captain. “I know you will be very angry—but
+I’m sure I ought to tell you: and yet I
+don’t know how I shall ever be able to do such
+a thing!”</p>
+
+<p>“What! is there a plot brewing, or a mutiny
+hatching?” said the General.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh! no sir,” said Fripps, “it is nothing
+public; it is——oh, I can’t tell you!”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” said the General, “I am not very
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_296">[Pg 296]</span>particular as to time; only as you have begun,
+you may as well go on.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, it’s so very fie-fie! Sir Cadwallader,”
+said Narcissus.</p>
+
+<p>“Very what?” said his Excellency.</p>
+
+<p>“Very naughty, sir,” replied the aide-du-camp.</p>
+
+<p>“Who is it about?” asked his Excellency.</p>
+
+<p>“That is what I’m almost afraid to say,”
+continued Fripps. “I never was so shocked
+in my life!—I declare I did not recover myself
+for two hours after.”</p>
+
+<p>“After what?” said the General:—“do
+speak out.”</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t know how to explain,” said Fripps,
+wringing his hands like</p>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>“Some sad widow o’er her babe deploring”—</p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>“but I’ll endeavour.”</p>
+
+<p>“Is it anything about my daughter?” said
+Sir Cadwallader, who, although unaware that
+any scene had taken place, had long remarked
+the aide-du-camp’s growing dislike of George.</p>
+
+<p>“La, General!—you are such a man,” said
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_297">[Pg 297]</span>Fripps, “I declare, you seem to know everything
+by intuition.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” said his Excellency, “what has she
+been doing?”</p>
+
+<p>“I know I shall never be able to explain it
+quite,” said Fripps; “but—I—think I may
+mention that—people think—I—that is, Mr.
+Brown—is—rather too free—and particular—and—”</p>
+
+<p>“Umph!” said Sir Cadwallader. “If <em>I</em>
+don’t find fault, and <em>she</em> does not find fault
+with his attentions,—that is, if he does pay her
+particular attention,—there is no great harm in
+<em>that</em>, Captain Fripps.”</p>
+
+<p>“No, sir,” said the captain; “but I’m sure
+you cannot guess. It is no fault of Miss
+Ellen’s—that I am certain of:—but—you have
+no idea. Oh! upon my word—that Mr. Brown—I
+speak, you know, in confidence to you, sir—but—he
+is such a rude man.”</p>
+
+<p>“Rude!” said Sir Cadwallader—“do you
+think so? As far—”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah! that’s where it is,” said Fripps, pawing
+and ambling about—“I can’t—it is something
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_298">[Pg 298]</span>so very fie-fie—only you ought to know
+it: but, I declare, I don’t know how to say
+it out.”</p>
+
+<p>“When did all this occur?” said Sir Cadwallader.</p>
+
+<p>“I haven’t lost a moment in telling your
+Excellency,” said Fripps: “what I saw happened
+last night.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” said the General—(every doubt of
+George’s honourable conduct having been released
+by learning the date of the affair, whatever
+it was, which had shocked the delicacy
+of the exquisite Narcissus)—“was it very
+bad?”</p>
+
+<p>“I never did such a thing myself in all my
+life, Sir Cadwallader,” said Fripps; “and, upon
+my honour! I am sorry to have seen it: it has
+quite upset me.”</p>
+
+<p>“You didn’t catch them in what the book-makers
+call ‘an interesting situation,’ Captain
+Fripps, did you?” said Sir Cadwallader.</p>
+
+<p>“La! General, you are such a man,” said
+Fripps. “I declare, how you guessed it I
+cannot think—but you are right: so the moment
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_299">[Pg 299]</span>I saw it, I said to myself—well! if ever—Oh!
+gracious—to think of the man that his
+Excellency has raised to his present station!—to
+think of—”</p>
+
+<p>“That will do, captain,” said the General.
+“I am quite aware of the excellence of your
+intentions, and I thank you for your excessive
+care of Ellen’s interest and prospects:—now
+let us look at the prospect before us.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well!” said Fripps to himself, “if ever I
+saw such a man!”—“To think, you know, of
+that nasty, great, coarse creature, Brown—well,
+if ever I—”</p>
+
+<p>“I think she has done it remarkably well,”
+said the general, putting his hand varhandah-wise
+over his eyes, to look at the beautiful
+panorama before them.</p>
+
+<p>“What, sir?” said Fripps, ambling about
+and twiddling his curls.</p>
+
+<p>“The view,” replied the General. “That
+bungalow in the foreground is a beautiful object,
+and she has made the most of it. It is
+odd enough, often as I have been on the Mulligopatemy
+road, I never was here before.”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_300">[Pg 300]</span></p>
+
+<p>Fripps looked at his Excellency with amazement,
+and almost began to repent not having
+himself been more lively with Miss Ellen, to
+whose reputed fortune Narcissus would have
+had no earthly objection, even encumbered with
+the lady herself.</p>
+
+<p>“And so,” said Sir Cadwallader, returning
+to the subject, “you surprised <em>my</em> daughter
+and my assistant military secretary in an interesting
+situation—eh?”</p>
+
+<p>“Upon my word, General, it was not intentional
+on my part,” said Fripps. “I had just
+been taking some of Hoffman’s capillaire and
+water, and a sponge biscuit with Ensign Honeyman
+at his quarters, where we had been singing
+some little Sicilian duets to the guitar by
+moonlight, and time flew so quickly, that it was
+near eleven o’clock before we thought of separating.
+When I came home I met Major Mopes
+at the gate, and we went together through the
+varhandah, and there—I really—I assure
+you it is the first time I ever saw such a thing—but
+there—there—Oh! how shall I describe
+the scene?”</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_301">[Pg 301]</span></p>
+
+<p>“You saw Mr. Brown kiss my daughter,
+perhaps:—I understand perfectly,” said the
+General:—“that’s enough, Captain Fripps;
+we will settle <em>that</em> gentleman’s affair after breakfast.
+So, come, let us take to our horses, and
+finish our ride.”</p>
+
+<p>It must be admitted that Captain Fripps
+felt disagreeably disappointed by the manner
+in which his Excellency received his account of
+the glaring indecorum which he had overseen;
+but he knew that he was a man of few words,
+with great promptitude and decision of action,
+and he still encouraged the hope of seeing his
+antipathy—the assistant military secretary,
+most unceremoniously expelled the house in
+the course of the morning.</p>
+
+<p>Differently, indeed, had the friendly Major
+Mopes been engaged during the same period.
+He had seen and conversed with George, who,
+it must be admitted, elated as he was by the
+wonderful piece of good-fortune which had befallen
+him, indulged his playfulness of disposition
+by leading the major by a very circuitous
+route to the real state of the case; indeed he
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_302">[Pg 302]</span>dexterously avoided coming to the point till he
+perceived, by his worthy friend’s manner and
+countenance, that he must not carry the joke
+much further. When he had explained all, and,
+to establish the certainty of his statement, presented
+the military secretary to Ellen Adamthwaite
+herself, in the character of her affianced
+lover, the major’s gratification and joy were
+complete.</p>
+
+<p>The breakfast, it must be owned, was a trial
+to the principal performers. Ellen, of course,
+had been informed by George of the discovery
+of their parting embrace by the two staff-officers—Mopes
+still thinking that Narcissus,
+who was generally occupied by thoughts of
+himself, had not seen equally clear with himself.</p>
+
+<p>The moment arrived; the general entered the
+breakfast-room. Curries, rice, Bombay ducks,
+Java red fish, eggs, European ham, hump
+and kabobs, were thickly intermingled with
+grapes, strawberries, mangoes, and plantains.
+The grateful fumes of coffee filled the atmosphere;
+and the tea, unchilled by the waving
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_303">[Pg 303]</span>Punkah, sparkled in its cups. Ellen took her
+seat with downcast eyes, after having received
+a certain number of paternal kisses from his
+Excellency; and Captain Narcissus Fripps,
+after having shaken hands with George Brown,
+deposited himself at the end of the table, directly
+opposite the gallant yet melancholy Mopes,
+major and military secretary.</p>
+
+<p>As the meal proceeded, Fripps could not
+help noticing certain looks which were passing
+between his four companions, especially as even
+the countenance of the major was every now
+and then illuminated by a cursory expression
+more nearly approaching to a smile than he
+had ever seen them before. The General looked
+at George; George looked at Ellen; and
+Ellen, affecting to repress his intelligent glances
+by a half-comic seriousness, was blushing
+crimson.</p>
+
+<p>Captain Narcissus Fripps began to feel exceedingly
+awkward and embarrassed. It was
+clear that his companions were in a confederacy,
+and that he was, by general consent,
+“basketed.” Very few words were spoken,
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_304">[Pg 304]</span>and nobody seemed inclined to break the silence.
+Narcissus felt assured that the General
+had availed himself of the first moment
+after their return home to lecture his daughter
+upon the dreadful impropriety which he had
+witnessed; but this he could hardly reconcile
+with the fact that Brown was placed next her
+at table, and permitted to look and talk to her,
+little or much, as suited his fancy; while the eyes
+of Ellen plainly exhibited the existence of an
+intelligence between them—which eyes <em>will</em> exhibit
+in the just degree to which such intelligence
+extends.</p>
+
+<p>It all at once struck the captain, that upon
+a principle not unfrequently acted upon,—of
+doing what in certain circles is called, “wiping
+it up, and saying nothing about it,” the
+General meant to take no public notice of the
+event which he had communicated, but that,
+instead of kicking the assistant military secretary
+out of the house, he would give him some
+detached appointment, which would have the
+effect of removing him from his present sphere
+of action, and his nomination to which, would
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_305">[Pg 305]</span>be attributed to the General’s continued and
+unchanged regard for him, rather than as a
+manœuvre to separate him from his daughter.
+This idea the gentle Narcissus cherished; and
+perfectly conscious that the embarrassment in
+which they all appeared involved must have
+arisen from his solicitude for the peace and honour
+of the family, and coupling these effects
+with the absence of all remark from the General,
+touching the matter, he resolved to act upon
+the same principle, assimilate his conduct to
+that of Sir Cadwallader, and take the first occasion
+to make him sensible of the caution he
+proposed to adopt, and the course he intended
+to pursue.</p>
+
+<p>It ought to be mentioned that Captain Fripps
+was not a very great favourite with anybody at
+head-quarters. The major indeed called him
+“Molly Fripps,” and that too in a sad and
+solemn tone; and George was quite aware that
+he affected to despise <em>him</em>. The stiffness of
+the breakfast-party would not of itself, therefore,
+have startled him, but the character of
+the stiffness of this particular morning puzzled
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_306">[Pg 306]</span>him exceedingly; for although little was said,
+so much more was looked than usual, that never
+did captain more greatly rejoice than did this
+of ours, when the repast was terminated by
+the departure of Ellen.</p>
+
+<p>The young lady’s exit was shortly followed
+by those of the major and George, and once
+again the aide-du-camp was alone with the
+General.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, captain,” said Sir Cadwallader, “I
+suppose you think my conduct very strange.”</p>
+
+<p>“No, upon my honour! not, sir,” said
+Fripps: “I quite appreciate it—so considerate—and
+so wise—and so like your Excellency.”</p>
+
+<p>“I am glad you approve of it,” said the
+General:—“but who told you the history of
+my proceedings since our return home?”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh! nobody told me,” said the captain;
+“I would not talk about it to anybody for the
+world.”</p>
+
+<p>“Then how have you acquired the knowledge
+of what I have done, and what I propose
+to do?” said his Excellency.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_307">[Pg 307]</span></p>
+
+<p>“I conclude,” said Fripps, “that your Excellency
+means to take no notice of what I told
+you, to the parties themselves, but get rid of
+Mr. Brown in some way or other, so as to prevent
+the <i lang="fr">eclat</i>.”</p>
+
+<p>“Prevent the <i lang="fr">eclat</i> of an affair known to
+two or three people!” exclaimed the General—“no,
+no.”</p>
+
+<p>“I protest, sir,” said Fripps, “it shall never
+pass my lips: I have too much regard for Miss
+Adamthwaite. It would be very shocking, I
+know, to let it spread; but my duty to <em>you</em>,
+as well as my esteem for <em>her</em>, would keep me
+silent as the tomb upon the subject.”</p>
+
+<p>“You need not restrain yourself, Captain
+Fripps,” said Sir Cadwallader, “on <em>my</em> account
+or hers.”</p>
+
+<p>“I know, sir,” said Fripps, “that you
+have been so kind and good to Mr. Brown;
+and what a shocking vice ingratitude is!—And
+to think of his venturing to embrace
+any young lady, and especially your daughter!”</p>
+
+<p>“Did you ever hear an old song that I used
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_308">[Pg 308]</span>to sing when I was a sub.,” said the general:—</p>
+
+<div class="poetry-container">
+ <div class="poetry">
+ <div class="stanza">
+ <div class="verse indent0">“‘My mother having heard that Colin he had kiss’d me,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent2">Proposed to the youth that to-morrow we should wed:</div>
+ <div class="verse indent0">To church then we went, paid the parson his fees,</div>
+ <div class="verse indent2">And so got holy licence to kiss when we please.’”</div>
+ </div>
+ </div>
+</div>
+
+<p>“Oh! dear, no,” said Fripps, shuddering,
+and pawing, and making curtseying bows, “I
+never heard such a song as <em>that</em> in all my
+life.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well, it may serve to enlighten you then,”
+said the General. “What if Ellen Adamthwaite
+and George Brown are about to do a similar
+thing—what should you say <em>then</em>?”</p>
+
+<p>“What!” exclaimed the captain—“you
+<em>don’t</em> mean, sir,—that—”</p>
+
+<p>“I do mean so,” said Sir Cadwallader.</p>
+
+<p>“What! that delicate fair creature,” said
+Fripps, in a soliloquizing tone, “to—”</p>
+
+<p>“—Yes, is likely very soon to become
+<em>Brown</em>, Captain Fripps,” said the General.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, then, the discovery I made—”</p>
+
+<p>“Was nothing very important after all,” said
+the General. “Your kindness and consideration
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_309">[Pg 309]</span>for her and me are nevertheless equally
+admirable; only if you had not gone back
+to your friend Mr. Honeyman’s quarters, and
+told <em>him</em> what you had seen, before you mentioned
+it to <em>me</em>, our obligations perhaps would
+have been somewhat greater.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well, I declare, Sir Cadwallader,” said
+Fripps, “I only told him because I—”</p>
+
+<p>“Because you happened to be sure of finding
+<em>him</em> up,” said the General, “and you were
+not so sure of getting hold of anybody else at
+that time to whom to give the interesting information.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh dear, dear!—I shall never be able
+to look at Miss Ellen again,” said the captain.
+“I admit it was—how could you have
+known it, sir?—dear me!—what a deceitful
+toad Honeyman must be to have betrayed
+me.”</p>
+
+<p>“We will not discuss the matter any further,”
+said the General. “I agree with <em>you</em>
+that it would be irksome for you to associate
+with my daughter and her husband after what
+has occurred, and therefore you have my full
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_310">[Pg 310]</span>permission to resign your aide-du-campship,
+and join your regiment. I am a plain, blunt
+man, as you know, and of few words.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, dear Sir Cadwallader!” said Fripps,
+“do not force me to leave you: everything
+may be arranged, and I—”</p>
+
+<p>“I wish you good morning, Captain Fripps,”
+said the General. “My daughter bids me decline
+on <em>her</em> part a scene of leave-taking, and
+will not in all probability return home until
+after your departure. Brown’s name will be in
+orders as aide-du-camp this afternoon; and, as
+I am now allowed only one, you will see the necessity
+of marching in ‘double quick.’ Good
+morning.” Saying which, his Excellency retired
+from the apartment, muttering humourously
+to himself—</p>
+
+<p>
+ “But never more be officer of mine.”
+</p>
+
+<p>“Well, if ever!” said Narcissus—“dear
+me—this is most uncommonly unpleasant! I
+declare I could scratch that nasty creature
+Honeyman’s eyes out, for such a sly trick.
+I’ll go to him—tax him with his conduct:—but
+I am sure we shall make it up before
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_311">[Pg 311]</span>we part; because I am quite certain he did
+not mean to injure me.”</p>
+
+<p>And so Fripps went on murmuring to himself,
+until, to his utter dismay, one of Sir Cadwallader’s
+servants made his appearance with
+his Excellency’s compliments—wished to know
+when his “things would be ready for moving.”
+This question was conclusive. The circumstance
+which had occurred—the awkward position in
+which he had placed himself by his tittle-tattle,
+and the intentions so evidently displayed in his
+conduct, all conspired to induce him to exert
+himself in fulfilling his Excellency’s wish for
+his speedy disappearance. His servant was
+directed to make immediate preparations for
+the start; and the captain himself proceeded
+to Honeyman, to reproach and bid him farewell.
+Their quarrel was, as the captain had
+anticipated, soon reconciled; and from the door
+of his dear friend’s quarters, Fripps, after eating
+a tiffin of fowl-sandwiches, raspberry tarts,
+and barleysugar-drops, moistened by some lemonade,
+took his departure to join his regiment
+at Bombay.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_312">[Pg 312]</span></p>
+
+<p>It is strange how much the loss of one, to a
+constant association with whom we have become
+habituated, affects us. Ellen, who cared
+no more for Narcissus than for any other officer
+in his Majesty’s service, naval or military,
+and in all human probability much less, could
+not look at his vacant place at tiffin without a
+feeling of regret. Perhaps this feeling, considering
+the consequences his removal involved,
+as far as regarded his worldly circumstances,
+might have been strengthened by the recollection
+that, however innocently, unconsciously
+certainly, and most unintentionally, she herself
+had been the cause of his ejection. Certain
+it was, she was out of spirits, and George saw
+she was. He could not help feeling uneasy at
+the symptoms he observed, but his anxiety was
+considerably relieved when he had ascertained
+that his <em>friend</em> was actually gone, and saw that
+Ellen, when her George filled his chair at dinner,
+was as much at her ease as she could be,
+knowing that the events which had occurred
+during the day were most undoubtedly forming
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_313">[Pg 313]</span>the topic of conversation at every other table
+in the presidency.</p>
+
+<p>We must not bestow sufficient space upon
+the episode of our history, to dwell at length
+upon the proceedings at head-quarters until
+the day of George’s marriage to Ellen was fixed.
+When the matrimonial termination to their
+acquaintance was announced as decided and inevitable,
+the public opinion of the forty or fifty
+estimable ladies and gentlemen, who formed the
+public of the place, turned wonderfully in favour
+of George. He was a most agreeable person—so
+clever; and it was so judicious of the
+General to advance merit, and consult the happiness
+of his child. And at last the day came,
+and they were married, and proceeded to pass
+the honeymoon in the picturesque bungalow
+which formed the effective foreground of Ellen’s
+last East-Indian view.</p>
+
+<p>The happiness of this most happy pair—for so
+they were—was not, however, destined to continue
+long uninterrupted: a sudden attack, and
+short illness, deprived them in the third month of
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_314">[Pg 314]</span>their married life of the kind-hearted, generous
+parent, the founder of their fortunes and felicity.
+This event, of course, decided them upon
+returning to England, and induced George to
+retire from the army. Having entered it, as
+an officer, much too late to expect in peaceable
+times promotion, even by purchase, to any
+valuable extent, he yielded to the solicitations
+of his Ellen, who had seen enough of military
+life as a soldier’s daughter, not to desire a continuance
+of it as a soldier’s wife. Her tastes,—her
+pursuits,—were those of retirement and
+quiet, and the blessing of being so much her
+own mistress as not to be destined by a Horse-Guards’
+order to pass ten or twelve years of her
+life in an East-Indian cantonment or a West-Indian
+barrack, was too great to be refused.
+So implicit was Sir Cadwallader’s reliance upon
+George, that, at the old gentleman’s death,
+he found himself, with some trifling limitations,
+in the possession of property, real and
+personal, to the amount of upwards of seven
+thousand a-year.</p>
+
+<p>In this position was George Brown when he
+<span class="pagenum" id="Page_315">[Pg 315]</span>returned to England; and it may easily be
+imagined that the circumstances detailed in
+this narrative, when related by himself to his
+mother and sister upon the occasion of his
+first visit to them, produced in their hearts
+and minds sentiments of gratitude to Providence,
+by which a course of events so propitious
+to their beloved, deserving relative, had
+been ordained.</p>
+
+
+<p class="center spaced space-above small">END OF THE FIRST VOLUME.</p>
+
+
+<p class="center spaced space-above small">
+ LONDON:<br>
+ PRINTED BY SAMUEL BENTLEY,<br>
+ Dorset Street, Fleet Street.
+</p>
+
+
+<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop">
+<div class="transnote">
+ <h2 class="nobreak" id="Transcribers_Notes">
+ Transcriber’s Notes
+ </h2>
+
+
+<ul>
+ <li><abbr title="page">p.</abbr>38, <abbr title="line">l.</abbr>15: Removed a redundant (double) that (<a href="#TN1">that he was a choice spirit</a>).</li>
+ <li><abbr title="page">p.</abbr>52, <abbr title="line">l.</abbr>11: Removed double quotation mark at the end of the sentence (<a href="#TN2">Brag as Brag thought
+of himself</a>).</li>
+ <li><abbr title="page">p.</abbr>53, <abbr title="line">l.</abbr>13: Added a hyphen (<a href="#TN3">hand-in-glove</a>).</li>
+ <li><abbr title="page">p.</abbr>81, <abbr title="line">l.</abbr>19: Corrected name (<a href="#TN4">Ilfracombe</a>).</li>
+ <li><abbr title="page">p.</abbr>124, <abbr title="line">l.</abbr>23: Typo corrected (<a href="#TN5">to explain herself</a>).</li>
+ <li><abbr title="page">p.</abbr>160, <abbr title="line">l.</abbr>13: Added a full stop (<a href="#TN6">directed to A. Z.</a>).</li>
+ <li><abbr title="page">p.</abbr>175, <abbr title="line">l.</abbr>1: Typo corrected (<a href="#TN7">we were only anxious</a>).</li>
+ <li><abbr title="page">p.</abbr>256, <abbr title="line">l.</abbr>2 and p.261, l.10: The author (T. Hook) uses the spelling in Gilbert Gurney: <a href="#TN12">Varhandah</a>.</li>
+ <li>Throughout the text: keeping <a href="#TN13">aide-du-camp</a> even though it seems wrong.</li>
+ <li>Except as noted above, original spelling and punctuation have been retained.</li>
+</ul>
+</div>
+<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78686 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>