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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78457 ***
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  DONOVAN
+
+  A Novel
+
+
+  BY
+
+  EDNA LYALL
+
+  AUTHOR OF
+  "WON BY WAITING."
+
+
+  "And I smiled to think God's greatness flowed around
+          Our incompleteness,--
+  Round our restlessness, His rest."
+                                E. B. BROWNING.
+
+
+  IN THREE VOLUMES.
+  VOL. II.
+
+
+  LONDON:
+  HURST AND BLACKETT, PUBLISHERS,
+  13, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET.
+  1882.
+
+  _All rights reserved._
+
+
+
+
+  Contents
+
+  I. Cast Adrift
+  II. Rouge et Noir
+  III. "The Raven for a Guide"
+  IV. Struggling On
+  V. Monaco
+  VI. Losing Self to Find
+  VII. "O'er Moor and Fen"
+  VIII. One and All
+  IX. In a Home
+  X. Oakdene Manor
+  XI. The Ideal Woman
+
+
+
+
+DONOVAN.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+CAST ADRIFT.
+
+  Ruin's wheel has driven o'er us,
+  Not a hope that dare attend,
+  The wide world is all before us,
+  But a world without a friend.
+                                BURNS.
+
+  Two dry sticks will set on fire one green.
+  He that takes the raven for a guide shall light upon carrion.
+                                                _Eastern Proverbs._
+
+
+How long were things to go on in their present state?  That was the
+question which, as the spring advanced, Ellis Farrant continually
+asked himself.  One afternoon, towards the end of May, the thought
+pressed itself upon him more pertinaciously than ever.  He was in the
+smoking-room, leaning back meditatively in his chair, from time to
+time reading a few lines in the _Sporting News_, but more often
+looking discontentedly and perplexedly at his step-son, who had drawn
+up his chair to the other side of the hearth, and whose fine profile
+was clearly marked out against the light as he bent over his
+newspaper.  Two days ago Donovan had come of age, yet Ellis had not
+carried out his preconceived plan of revenge; in the past he had
+always intended to have the final breach with his step-son on the
+very day that his guardianship ended, but when the time actually came
+his heart failed him--no fitting opportunity presented itself.
+Instead of quarrelling with him, he drank his health at dinner,
+played billiards with him most of the evening, and was as
+good-natured and friendly as possible.  But, although the few months
+which had elapsed since Dot's death had been singularly peaceable
+ones at the Manor, Ellis had not lost his strong dislike to Donovan.
+He had at first felt sorry for him, and had left him unmolested; but
+it is one thing to sympathise with a person in the first poignancy of
+his grief, and quite another to understand or feel for his prolonged
+sorrow.
+
+As the months passed on, and Donovan's grave stern face still
+remained unaltered, Ellis began to feel aggravated; he saw little
+enough of his step-son, but what he did see was quite sufficient to
+annoy him.  Donovan would perhaps come down to breakfast, then he
+would disappear for the rest of the day, for long solitary rides or
+walks seemed to be his only relief; at dinner he would be in his
+place again, but would rarely utter a single word, and in the
+evening, though he was decidedly Ellis's superior at every game, he
+was too gloomy and taciturn to be a pleasant companion.  The elder
+man's dislike and impatience began to grow uncontrollable; he found
+himself looking out eagerly for an opportunity of picking a quarrel.
+
+As he sat looking thoughtfully across the room at his companion, his
+doubts were suddenly resolved by an unexpected turn of affairs.
+Donovan threw down his paper, and, turning round to his step-father,
+asked abruptly,
+
+"When do you go up to town?"
+
+"Next week, I believe," said Ellis, knocking the ashes out of his
+pipe and re-filling it.
+
+There was a pause.  Then Donovan continued,
+
+"I have been thinking over things for the last few days, and I've
+made up my mind that this sort of life won't do for me any longer.  I
+must begin to work at something."
+
+"A most commendable decision," said Ellis.  "And that's the longest
+sentence I've heard from you for many a month."
+
+Donovan knew from the tone of this speech that his step-father was in
+a quarrelsome humour.  He frowned, but continued, with some
+additional constraint in his manner,
+
+"Since we are agreed, then, perhaps it would be as well if we
+arranged matters before leaving Oakdene.  I am thinking of going into
+chambers and studying for the Bar; if you and my mother will settle
+my allowance, there is nothing that need keep me here longer."
+
+"Gently, my good fellow," said Ellis, getting up from his chair with
+the feeling that he could carry things through with a high hand if he
+were standing above his step-son.  "You are in rather too great a
+hurry; you rattle off in a few words what involves a great deal.  I
+too have been thinking matters over, not only for the last two or
+three days, but for some time; by all means set to work if you like,
+only do not expect me to support you any longer.  Live in chambers,
+if you will, and be a law-student for as many years as you please,
+only don't think that I shall keep you during the interval or pay
+your premium."
+
+Donovan started to his feet.
+
+"I don't understand you," he said, with repressed indignation.  "What
+do you mean by this?"
+
+"Simply what I say," said Ellis, provokingly.
+
+"You mean me to understand that I am not to have any proper allowance
+made me?"
+
+"Exactly so, though I don't admit the adjective."
+
+The two men stood facing each other.  For a few minutes neither
+spoke; Donovan's eyes dilated, and his face glowed with indignation.
+Ellis met his look with a cool bold effrontery.
+
+At length the silence was broken by Donovan's voice.
+
+"And _this_ is what you have waited and plotted for! this is the part
+of the honourable English gentleman, to steal into a house, and win
+your way craftily, and mislead wilfully and shamefully those who
+never suspected your wickedness!  Yes, you have fulfilled your duties
+as a guardian nobly, and now you would oust the 'insufferable cub,'
+whom you longed to kick out months ago, only you couldn't; instead
+you hoodwinked him, flattered, lured him on with false hopes.  You
+_scoundrel_!"
+
+"The step-son waxes hot," said Ellis, with a sneer, "as, naturally,
+we part this day, I will allow a few last shots."
+
+"Wretch!  Do you dare to turn me out of my own father's house?--you
+an interloper, a defrauder!"
+
+"I have tolerated your presence in the house for ten months," said
+Ellis; "I knew that the time remaining was short, I let you stay on
+in peace; you have aggravated me at times beyond bearing, and now,
+with the greatest pleasure in life, I show you the door.  You
+surmised quite truly, I have often longed to 'kick you out,' as you
+express it; take care that you do not force me to interpret the words
+literally."
+
+"Do you think," said Donovan, angrily, "that my mother is so utterly
+unnatural that she will allow me to be treated in this way?  I tell
+you you are mistaken, sir."
+
+"You forget that your mother is my wife," said Ellis, watching his
+victim's writhing lip with a sort of enjoyment.  "But, come now, I'll
+overlook what you've said, and we will part amicably; do not cut your
+own throat by refusing the pardon I offer."
+
+"_Pardon_!  And from you!" cried Donovan, passionately.  "Am I to
+accept forgiveness for words which are a hundred times too mild for
+your conduct?  I'll let the world know of the injustice, I'll publish
+your scandalous behaviour everywhere in the neighbourhood!"
+
+"The only drawback to that scheme of revenge is the unfortunate
+character you yourself bear in the place," said Ellis, maliciously.
+"The neighbourhood will not very readily sympathise with any stories
+which the far-famed Donovan Farrant, the professed atheist, thinks
+fit to fabricate."
+
+The statement was so true that Donovan could not deny it, but the
+consciousness of his utter isolation and the sense of injustice drove
+him almost to madness.
+
+"That may be true!" he stormed, "anything may be true in a cruel,
+self-seeking, unjust world, but though everyone is against me, though
+I've not a creature on earth to hold out a hand to me, I will at
+least speak my mind to you.  You are a traitor, sir, and a villain!"
+
+"Take care," said Ellis, his colour mounting, "I give you fair
+warning that those words are actionable; use them again at your
+peril."
+
+"You dare me to use them!" said Donovan, furiously.  "I will repeat
+them a thousand times--you are a treacherous, despicable villain!
+Were a hundred witnesses present, a hundred lawsuits possible, I
+would repeat it!  What! am I to submit to be ruined without a
+word?--am I to sink down meekly into beggary because a plotting,
+scheming traitor like you dares to condemn me?"
+
+Ellis was trembling with mingled fear and rage.
+
+"You had better go while I can keep my hands off you," he said,
+fiercely.  "Stay longer and I'll have you sent to Bedlam."
+
+Donovan's brain seemed to reel; it was almost impossible to believe
+that he was actually being turned out of his father's house.
+
+"I will see my mother," he said, with angry resolution in his voice.
+"She will not suffer it, she cannot."
+
+He strode out of the room fiercely, and hurried across the hall to
+the dining-room.  Waif, hearing his step, sprang up from the door-mat
+and pattered after him, Ellis, following quickly, blocked the doorway
+before the door closed.  Donovan turned back wildly.
+
+"I tell you I insist on seeing my mother alone," he said, with a look
+so full of anger and hatred that Ellis shrank beneath it, but still
+he was able to answer with cold decision,
+
+"And I tell you that I refuse to leave my wife with a maniac."
+
+"Be it so," cried Donovan, "but, though you deny me everything, you
+cannot alter the instincts of nature.  Mother, you will not--you
+cannot agree to this wickedness.  You will not turn me away from this
+house penniless.  You will not listen to what he says?"
+
+Mrs. Farrant had been lying on the sofa; she started up from a doze
+to find the room in an uproar--Donovan and her husband storming at
+each other in a fashion without parallel.  They had often before
+disagreed, even quarrelled in her presence, but in a quiet
+gentlemanly way, to which she did not object.  This angry
+vociferation terrified her beyond measure.  Donovan's rare and almost
+tropical outbursts of passion had always alarmed her.  She turned now
+from his wild looks and impetuous words to her husband, who stood by
+in cold silence.
+
+"What is the matter?  What has happened, Ellis?" she asked,
+helplessly.  "Pray stop this terrible noise.  It is quite impossible
+for me to understand anything, Donovan, if you agitate me so."
+
+"I will be quiet," he gasped, softening his voice with an effort.  "I
+will not worry you for a moment.  Only trust me, mother; listen to me
+fairly, and promise that you will not side against me.  He--your
+husband insults me, drives me out of the house--this house which
+never ought to have been his--he turns me away penniless--say, only
+say that it is against your wish!"
+
+Mrs. Farrant's tears began to flow, and she turned to her husband
+imploringly.
+
+"Oh!  Ellis, what has he done?  Do not be hard upon him.  He is the
+only child I have left.  What has he done?"
+
+Even in that moment of tumult, Donovan felt a thrill of joy at his
+mother's words.  Was it possible that at last they might understand
+each other--that Nature would assert herself above the thick clouds
+of selfishness and uncongeniality which had so long divided them?
+
+"Honora," said Ellis, in his coldest voice, "you must be content to
+trust me with this.  I cannot allow Donovan's presence in my house
+any longer.  For your sake I will let him go without calling him to
+account for the disgraceful language he has used to me, but go he
+must.  He has been supported in idleness quite long enough; let him
+win his way in the world now as he can."
+
+Donovan stood with his back against the window frame, and with arms
+folded, listening in silence to his step-father's words, listening,
+too, with painful intensity, for his mother's answer.  Would she
+again plead for him, or would she be over-ruled by Ellis's cold
+speech?
+
+"There has been nothing but trouble about him," sobbed Mrs. Farrant.
+"There seems to be a fate against me; nothing goes well.  I have
+trouble after trouble.  Oh!  Donovan, why did you bring about this
+quarrel?  For my sake you might have respected your step-father."
+
+"At least believe that it was not my doing," cried Donovan, bitterly
+disappointed by her tone.  "If you would only have believed what I
+told you last summer, we could not have been in this position; but
+who can stand against the coils of a serpent!"
+
+"Go, sir," said Ellis, angrily, "go at once, and do not try my
+patience by upbraiding me before my wife."
+
+"Did I not tell you that he would bring nothing but wretchedness to
+us?" said Donovan, desperately.  "The time may come when you will see
+it more clearly.  I can only hope that one victim may satisfy him,
+and that you may never suffer."
+
+Mrs. Farrant sobbed convulsively, Donovan stooped down and kissed
+her, but, as he felt her tears wet on his cheek, he thought bitterly
+how one brave decided word from her would have been worth all this
+passionate sorrow.
+
+With a dazzled bewildered feeling he crossed the hall and went up to
+his room; in a few minutes his bell was rung, and a message sent down
+to the housekeeper's room for Mrs. Doery to come upstairs.  She came
+to him at once, looking so unchanged, with her nut-cracker features,
+sharp eyes, and respectable black dress and apron, that he felt
+almost as if time had been standing still with her, while it had
+brought such changes to him.
+
+"Well, Mr. Donovan, what do you please to require?" she asked,
+severely:
+
+He roused himself, and said in his natural voice--a rich mellow
+voice, but with a great ring of sadness in it--
+
+"I am going away, Doery.  Mr. Farrant has, in fact, turned me out of
+the house.  I want you to put up my things for me."
+
+Then, with that strange contradictoriness whereby the very last
+persons in the world whom we expect to love us, suddenly reveal
+depths of unsuspected tenderness under the stress of some unusual
+event, Mrs. Doery broke into indignant sobs.  She had never heard the
+like in her life!  Turn her lad out of the house when he ought to
+have been made his father's heir!  It was impossible, intolerable,
+she never would believe the law of England would allow it!  Her
+indignation rather softened Donovan, it was such a relief to feel
+that anyone, even this cross-grained old woman, would take his part!
+It seemed a strange reversal of the old order of things--Doery,
+stimulated by the cruelty of others, to allow some merit in him, or
+at least to bestow her pity on her ne'er-do-weel.  He left her with a
+substantial souvenir, both for herself and for Dot's maid, Phœbe,
+generosity which in the precarious state of his finances was more
+natural than wise.  Then he took a last look at Dot's room, put her
+little carriage clock with his own hands into his portmanteau, and
+leaving directions with Doery for his things to be sent to the
+Greyshot Station in time for an evening train, he went downstairs.
+Ellis was in the hall, waiting half nervously for the full
+accomplishment of his plans, for the crowning moment of his triumph.
+Donovan passed by him without speaking, deliberately took down his
+stick and riding-whip from the rack, and then, facing round upon his
+step-father, said with a depth of concentrated hatred and contempt,
+
+"We part here, then.  Remember always how admirably you have goaded
+me on to ruin!"
+
+Then the door was closed behind him, and Donovan left the house which
+should have been his, and walked away alone.
+
+It was a beautiful spring afternoon, the dark fir-trees and the early
+crimson of the copper beech stood out against the blue of the sky,
+the oaks were beginning to show their green leaves, the pink and
+white thorns were in full bloom.  The beauty of the place seemed
+never to have been so great before, and though very often Donovan had
+thought the Manor dull and prison-like, yet now that he was exiled
+from it he found how large a place it had in his heart.  And he was
+to leave it for ever! his home was to remain in the hands of his
+greatest enemy!  At the first bend in the carriage drive he
+involuntarily turned back for a last look at the house.  It stood
+there in the afternoon sunshine, with just the same air of sleepy
+luxurious comfort which it had always worn; there, above the
+creeper-laden porch, was the window of his old room, and close by it
+Dot's window.  He remembered the day when he had decided to give up
+his foreign tour for the sake of being with her, and heard in fancy
+the childish voice which could never again call him; how strange now
+seemed the struggle of the past to give up his longing for a change
+of scene! how he grudged every hour that he had spent away from Dot!
+It was hard, very hard, to turn away from the place so full of her
+memory; no thought of future difficulties had as yet forced itself
+upon him, indignation and bitter sorrow drove out everything
+else--everything but a vague feeling of more complete desolation,
+more utter loneliness.  He had thought that he had drained the full
+bitterness of the cup of life in the agony of bereavement, but here
+was a fresh draught which in its humiliating injustice was gall and
+wormwood to him.
+
+All this time he was not however so friendless as he imagined; Waif
+followed him closely.  His devotion to his master, which had always
+been very great, had become more marked since Dot's death; in
+Donovan's lonely rides and long walks Waif had always accompanied
+him, he had learnt to understand his master's moods and knew
+perfectly when to keep to heel in silent unobtrusiveness, and when to
+frisk and gambol about him; he had watched the stormy scene in the
+drawing-room, had followed Donovan noiselessly up and downstairs, now
+he trotted demurely behind him, well aware that this was not the
+right time to draw attention to his presence.
+
+The gates were passed at length, and Donovan stood without in the
+white dusty road; he did not pause or hesitate or look back now, but
+strode along with fierce rapid steps, down the hill, through the
+little village, past old Mr. Hayes' deserted house, to the tiny grey
+church in the valley.  Everything looked cruelly peaceful, on the
+hillside a herd of cows were browsing, a column of blue smoke curled
+up from the chimney of a little farmhouse close by, a country woman
+passed him singing to the brown-eyed baby in her arms.  Contrasted
+with all this were Ellis's cruel words ringing in his ears, and the
+recollection of the hateful look of vindictive triumph which he had
+seen in his step-father's face.  The frenzied passionate indignation
+surged up in his heart with redoubled force, he threw open the
+churchyard gate, and hurried up the flagged path, pausing however
+beside the little porch to look at a notice which had met his eye, as
+trifling things do sometimes force themselves upon us in moments of
+great agitation.  He read with growing bitterness the words:--
+
+"NEW ORGAN FUND.--Ellis Farrant, Esq., of Oakdene Manor, having
+generously promised £200 to the above fund, it is earnestly hoped
+that the additional £100 still required may be obtained.  A special
+collection will be made, &c., &c."  Charity, church-organs,
+generosity to win a good name with the world! behind the outward
+show, injustice, tyranny, and hatred!
+
+Donovan turned aside past the great yew tree to the place where
+little Dot had been laid.  The stone had just been put up, a
+recumbent cross, the sharp outlines of the white marble standing out
+clearly against the green grass; he threw himself down upon it in one
+of his terrible paroxysms of grief, in pain so unalleviated that it
+seemed like strong physical torture added to the mental suffering.
+How long he lay there with his face pressed down to the cold marble,
+and his hands grasping strainedly at the turf he never knew; it must
+have been for a long long time, for when he staggered to his feet
+again the sun was setting, and he found that only by walking briskly
+could he reach Greyshot in time for the evening train to London.
+With a still white cold face, which seemed to have absorbed something
+of the hard rigidity of the marble cross, he looked his last at the
+little grave, then hastily recrossed the churchyard.  Waif, who had
+been watching him all the time with considerable anxiety, trotted on
+in front of him, but at the gate turned back to meet him and began to
+draw attention to himself by a series of whines and barks and bounds
+in the air; he could not have chosen a better moment for making his
+presence known, Donovan felt at once the relieved re-action from hard
+bitter despair to a half-amused gratitude; this dumb creature loved
+him, there could be no doubt of that, and there are times in the
+lives of most of us, when the love even of dumb things wins a tenfold
+preciousness because of its unquestioning faithfulness, its fearless
+devotion, its contrast to the changeful doubting unreliable affection
+of men, who can judge and speak their judgment.  He stooped down and
+let the dog spring up to his knee, while he patted the sagacious
+white and tan head; then, remembering that his time was short, he
+started up again with a sudden return of energy.
+
+"Come along, old fellow," he said, in his usual voice, "you and I
+will go through the world together."
+
+Waif wagged his tail, pricked up his black ear, drooped the white
+one, and bounded along as if he enjoyed the thought of the
+companionship.
+
+It was growing dusk when the dog and his master reached Greyshot; the
+station lamps were lighted; somehow Donovan's choking indignation
+began to diminish under the influence of the excitement.  He had been
+unjustly used, certainly, but the world was before him, and the world
+began to seem more attractive than he had thought; the cool evening
+wind blew through the station, the platform was rather crowded, for
+the first time a boyish sense of the pleasure of freedom stole across
+him; here he was accountable to no one, free to do exactly as he
+pleased, with his portmanteau and his dog he could roam where he
+liked.  He took a ticket for himself and Waif to Paddington without
+any very distinct idea why he chose London as his first resort,
+turning to it perhaps only as the sort of natural home which the
+great city seems to most Englishmen.  Then he sauntered up and down,
+waiting for the train, looked at the brightly lighted book-stall,
+scanned the faces of the crowd, while all the time his thoughts were
+running pretty much in this way:
+
+"I must make the best of life; hateful and worthless as it is, I may
+as well enjoy myself as much as I can.  The world is full of
+injustice, I will pay it back in its own coin."
+
+Presently the train was heard in the distance, in another minute his
+golden-eyed destiny flashed into sight, there was haste and confusion
+on the platform.  Waif, with his ticket tied to his collar, kept
+close to his master's heels, till Donovan, opening the door of a
+carriage, prepared to lift him in; the occupants, however, objected,
+a nervous middle aged lady started up from her corner, she could not
+endure dogs, she really must beg that he did not get into that
+carriage.  Donovan retreated, and hurried on to the next vacant
+place, taking care this time to put the question,
+
+"Do you mind the dog?"
+
+"Oh, dear no," said a pleasant bland voice, and he sprang in just as
+the train started.
+
+When he had put up his bag and walking-stick, he threw himself back
+in a corner seat, and began to scrutinize his fellow-passengers.
+They were three in number, and they were beguiling the time with a
+game of euchre.  The individual with the pleasant voice, who had
+consented to Waif's admittance, sat next to Donovan, so that he could
+only see his profile; he seemed to be a short, heavily-made man
+between fifty and sixty, with an unnaturally red face, thick neck,
+and scanty red hair sprinkled with grey; he was singularly ugly, but
+his expression was more weak than unpleasant, especially when he
+turned round with some trifling remark to Donovan, and showed his
+little twinkling watery eyes, good-natured mouth, and round face.
+His two companions were much younger men, the one furthest from
+Donovan was faring badly in the game, he was a sleek-looking, bearded
+man, dressed rather extravagantly, and wearing a heavy watch-chain
+and bunch of charms; there was an air of vulgar prosperity about him,
+and Donovan instantly surmised that he was some wealthy manufacturer
+or tradesman.  The remaining traveller was a much more perplexing
+study.  After watching him for some time, Donovan had not in the
+least arrived at any decision about him, he might have been a
+sporting gentleman, or a superior commercial traveller, or a
+newspaper correspondent, or possibly a card-sharper.  Donovan tried
+to fit every one of these "callings" upon him; each succeeded for a
+time, and then fell to the ground.  He was, however, peculiarly
+attractive.  His companions were very soon forgotten altogether in
+the absorbing interest of watching this man's exceedingly clever play
+and curious face.  He had a square massive forehead, black hair
+receding from the temples, and just beginning to turn grey, a dark
+oily complexion, very small black eyes, with a dissatisfied look in
+them, and heavy dark eyebrows, level towards the bridge of the nose,
+but arched at the other end, and raised still higher when he became
+interested.
+
+Before very long the manufacturer was beaten, and the dark-browed man
+turned to Donovan, shuffling the cards as he spoke.
+
+"Will you make a fourth at whist?"
+
+The question was asked so casually, as if the speaker cared little
+whether he complied or not, that Donovan, who had rather inclined to
+the opinion that he was a professional gambler, was completely
+deceived by it.  He only hesitated a moment, then the red-haired
+elder man turned round with his good-humoured smile, and said, in his
+pleasant voice,
+
+"We should be delighted, if you would join us.  One needs something
+of the sort on a long journey, to while away the time."
+
+Without further preamble the game began.  The stakes were high;
+Donovan grew excited, and forgot for the time his anger and the
+bitter treatment to which he had been subjected.  He was partner with
+the rich manufacturer; the strange-looking, dark-browed man was
+playing with the elder with the red hair.  He was a daring opponent,
+and Donovan, who was accustomed to carry everything before him, was
+roused and interested to a most unwonted degree.  It was a close and
+exciting game, eventually won by the two strangers, but Donovan's
+skilful play had evidently surprised his dark-looking opponent, who
+scrutinized him curiously, while the red-haired traveller began to
+compliment him.
+
+Presently they stopped at Swindon, and Donovan, beginning to be
+conscious that he had eaten nothing for many hours, hurried away with
+the others towards the refreshment-room.  As he waited for an instant
+among the crowd of passengers, he heard a sharp voice, low, and yet
+singularly distinct, not far from him.
+
+"Now mind, your work's not done yet, so be careful."
+
+Glancing round, Donovan saw that the speaker was his late opponent;
+the good-humoured face of his red-haired companion clouded a little,
+and there was something of the expression of a spoilt child about his
+mouth as he replied.
+
+"Plague upon it!  You never can let a fellow enjoy himself, Noir.
+I'm sure I've been as temperate as old Oliver himself----"
+
+The rest of the sentence died away in the distance, but apparently
+Noir enforced his advice, for, some minutes before Donovan left the
+refreshment-room, his two fellow-travellers repassed him on their way
+to the carriage.
+
+Waif sat guarding his master's property.  The two men did not notice
+him; the younger one, who had been addressed as Noir, flung himself
+back in his place, the elder fidgeted about restlessly, talking in
+his hearty voice the while.
+
+"What do you think of our two friends?"
+
+"The manufacturer is a fool," said Noir, decidedly.  "The young one's
+as sharp as a needle."
+
+"Ha!  I thought as much.  He'd have beaten us hollow, wouldn't he, if
+it hadn't been for certain----"
+
+"Be quiet!" said the younger man, sharply.  "You'll undo us some day
+by your want of caution."
+
+"Shall you try any more this evening?"
+
+"I don't know.  I think not.  I wish I could get that young fellow
+for a second instead of you.  He'd be the making of us."
+
+"A cut above our sort of thing, isn't he?"
+
+"Can't say, but he looks discontented enough.  We'll sound him, get
+the manufacturer to draw him out."
+
+Then, as the other traveller returned, Noir suddenly changed his
+tone, and very skilfully drew the conversation round to the desired
+subject.  They had just been talking of his partner.  He seemed a
+clever fellow.  They were wondering what he was.  For his part, he
+would bet ten to one that he was in the Army.  The manufacturer
+thought he was an undergraduate.  There was some laughter over the
+dispute.  It was agreed that, by hook or by crook, they would find
+out which was in the right by the end of the journey.  Then the bell
+sounded.  There was hurrying to and fro on the platform, and at the
+very last moment Donovan stalked back to his place, perfectly
+unconscious of the small plot which his companions had been making.
+
+He had brought back a biscuit for Waif, and the dog made a good
+opening for conversation.  Then the manufacturer mentioned by chance
+that he came _from Bristol_, and Donovan, to the satisfaction of the
+three conspirators, began to ask questions as to the likelihood of
+finding any suitable employment there.
+
+"Oh! with capital, you can always get on," said the rich man, easily.
+"Nothing can be done in this world without money, but there are
+plenty of openings there for any young men wanting employment."
+
+"Provided they are capitalists," said Donovan, with bitterness, which
+did not escape Noir's keen observance.
+
+"Oh! well, of course you might meet with a clerkship," said the
+manufacturer, "but it's a difficulty to get them very often, there's
+such a run on them; and besides, that would hardly be in your line,
+would it?"
+
+"No," said Donovan, haughtily; then, with a touch of humour, he
+added, "Though, to be sure, I've not much right to talk of 'my line.'"
+
+The talk drifted on by degrees to the recent strikes in Lancashire,
+and the manufacturer and Donovan had a hot argument on the subject of
+wages, in which the latter's keen sense of injustice and oppression
+was fully brought to light; he talked so fiercely of the tyranny of
+the rich, the grinding down of the poor, the dishonest grasping of
+the capitalists, that Noir felt sure there was some personal feeling
+involved in the dispute, certain that in some way this young fellow's
+life had been embittered by the tyranny and injustice which he
+inveighed against.  The dark brows were raised higher and higher as
+the argument went on; evidently Donovan's words had touched some
+kindred feeling in the man's heart.  At last he could contain himself
+no longer, but joined in the dispute, linking his vehement words with
+Donovan's, till between them they fairly overwhelmed the rich Bristol
+man.  Then at once there was established between them that strange
+sympathy which comes like a lightning flash, when two minds are
+entirely one upon a subject not usually agreed upon.  They had been
+united in argument, and in an argument very nearly touching their own
+lives; instinctively Donovan held out his hand when they parted at
+Paddington, and the dark-browed man grasped it with a warmth and
+heartiness curiously contradictory to his disposition.  He was in
+reality a hardened cheat, but his one vulnerable spot had been
+touched, and he at once conceived a strong liking for his young ally.
+
+Perhaps few places are so dependent on the frame of mind one is in as
+London.  No place seems so pleasant to a sociable person in a happy
+humour, no place so cold and uncongenial to anyone in trouble.  Then
+with what heartless indifference the busy crowd passes by, how the
+careless talk, the hearty laugh, the cool stare of one's kind wound
+and sting; with what envy does one look at the smiling faces, and how
+(foolishly and morbidly, of course) one compares them with the priest
+and the Levite in the parable; though how they can help "passing by
+on the other side," when one is only stripped and wounded and robbed
+by the unseen foes of life which prey on the inner man, a troubled
+mind, is generally too illogical to consider.  The forlornness of his
+position did not come upon Donovan all at once.  During the months
+which had passed since little Dot's death, in his sorrow "without
+hope," worthier and more manly thoughts had grown up in his heart; he
+had made up his mind to work at something, and, though his chief
+object had been merely to divert his thoughts by the work, the
+resolve was still in the right direction.  The rude repulse which he
+had met with from Ellis when he suggested his new idea, and the
+hardness of his expulsion from Oakdene, crushed down for the time all
+these better thoughts; but in a little while, from sheer necessity,
+they sprang up again.  It was evidently impossible that he could live
+for any length of time on the remains of his last allowance; he must
+gain his living in some way, and now, for the first time, he felt
+fully how fatal to his interests Ellis's guardianship had been.  Had
+he been forced to enter some profession, or had he even received a
+better education after his school career was ended, he would not now
+have been so helpless; yet, after all, he would scarcely have
+consented to leave Dot, even had he known beforehand of Ellis's
+malignant intention; only now it added bitterness to his indignation
+to think how coolly and systematically his step-father had planned
+his ruin.  Why was it?--what had he done to earn such hatred?  He
+asked himself those questions over and over again, knowing nothing of
+the first great wrong which Ellis had done him--the wrong which was
+at the root of all the subsequent evil.
+
+The morning after his arrival he hurried off at once to Bedford Row
+to consult his father's solicitor, the same who had come down to his
+grandfather's funeral, and had initiated him into the mysteries of
+_vingt-et-un_.  He was by this time an elderly man; but though he
+listened to Donovan kindly, and refused to take any fee for the
+consultation, he showed him at once that he had no legal claim
+whatever on Ellis Farrant or his mother now that he was of age.  His
+case was no doubt a very hard one; he should think that by continued
+applications he might reasonably expect to extort some allowance, if
+only a small one, from his step-father.  As to his mother, she had no
+power at all apart from her husband; he could take counsel's opinion
+if he liked, but it would be simply throwing away his two guineas--it
+was a matter quite out of the province of law, a family matter which
+must be arranged, by family feeling and natural affection.  As to
+employment, he should advise him to apply to any influential men he
+knew in town; it was possible he might get some post in one of the
+Government offices.  The lawyer hoped that Mr. Farrant would dine
+with him some evening--he had just moved to a new house at Brompton;
+if he could ever be of any service to Mr. Farrant, he should be most
+happy.
+
+Donovan went away several degrees more depressed than before.  His
+prospects did indeed seem dreary; "continued applications" to Ellis
+Farrant, or, in plain English, "begging letters," could not for a
+moment be thought of, and the lawyer's kindness failed to impress
+him.  It was easy enough to ask a fellow to dinner, and to hold out
+vague offers of service; but Donovan had seen too hollow a corner of
+the world to put any faith in this sort of friendship.  He resolved,
+however, to call on two or three great men whom in the old times he
+and his mother had visited; his name at least would be known to them.
+He would at any rate follow the lawyer's advice, and try for work.
+But each effort was doomed to fail.  The first of the old
+acquaintance was kind indeed, but not encouraging; he knew of nothing
+in the least suitable, regretted extremely his inability to help his
+young friend.  The second flattered him, assured him that with such
+advantages he could not fail to get on in the world, and promised
+that if ever he heard of any appointment likely to suit him he would
+let him know at once.  The third, an overwrought man, always
+oppressed by twice as much work as he could properly manage, received
+him with scant courtesy, listened to his story coldly, and dismissed
+him with a curt refusal; it was no use coming to him, he had a
+thousand applications of the kind--they were, in fact, the bane of
+his existence.  He could offer no help at all--he wished Mr. Farrant
+good day.
+
+It was not till the close of this third interview that Donovan
+altogether realised his position.  With hot cheeks, for he was still
+young enough to flush easily at any discourtesy, he turned his back
+on the chambers of the harassed and churlish man of the world, made
+his way along the crowded pavements of Parliament Street, and without
+any distinct purpose bent his steps towards the river.  It was a hot
+afternoon in early June, but what little air there was reached him as
+he leant on the parapet of Westminster Bridge, his face propped
+between both hands, his eyes bent down on the sparkling sunlit water.
+What was the use of his life? he asked himself dejectedly.  How
+indeed was he to live?  His acquaintances one and all refused or were
+not able to help him, his home ties were all broken, there was not a
+single being in the world who would help him or care for him.  Under
+such circumstances, would it not be well to seek that "refuge in the
+cavern of cold death" which he had taught himself to consider as the
+goal, the end of all things?  What harm could it do to anyone?  There
+was no one to miss him except Waif, and not to be would be ineffable
+peace!  No more craving for Dot's presence, no more gnawing
+disappointment and weariness of life, no more suffering from
+injustice, no more misery of loneliness.  And yet----  What would his
+father have said?  And then, too, was there not some natural physical
+shrinking from such an end?  After all, he was very young, and the
+boy-life within him began to assert itself above the morbid
+overgrowth.  Life as it was, was certainly not worth having, but
+surely there must be some brightness in store for him!  The sun shone
+down in golden splendour on the river, the pleasure-steamers and the
+smaller boats were borne past him rapidly; the mere animal joy of
+existence overcame for the time his darker thoughts.
+
+Yet what was he to do?  He did not know the Bible well, but he had of
+course heard it read in his school days and before he gave up
+church-going, now from some odd recess of memory there floated back
+the words--"Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of
+unrighteousness that when ye fail they may receive you into
+everlasting habitations."  He smiled a little to himself as he
+thought of the solution of this perplexing passage which his life was
+bringing to light.  He had certainly taken no pains in the old days
+to make friends; where he could have wished friendship there had
+always been a shrinking back on the other side; his bad name had kept
+back good companions; his natural nobility had guarded him from
+making real friends of bad people, although he had been in the way of
+evil companionship very often.  But a real friend he had never known.
+Certainly his circumstances were sufficiently dreary to have brought
+to despair a far better regulated mind than his; the misery and
+hopelessness surged in upon him afresh, the healthy pleasure in
+existence died away, the brightness of the summer day only increased
+his sick longing for something to fill the emptiness of his life.
+
+Just as he had slowly raised himself and was about to move on from
+the place where he had been leaning, he heard himself addressed in a
+voice which, though not exactly familiar to him, he yet seemed to
+have heard somewhere.
+
+"Good day, I think we've had the pleasure of meeting before."
+
+Turning round hastily, he at once recognized the dark-browed man with
+whom he had travelled up from Greyshot, his antagonist in the game,
+his ally in the argument.
+
+"I've been watching you for some minutes," said the stranger, "only
+you seemed so deep in meditation that I wouldn't disturb you.  I've
+often thought of you since that day we met on the Great Western."
+
+"Have you?" said Donovan, brightening a little, for the man's manner
+had a certain attractiveness in it; then, after a moment's pause, he
+added, "Why, I wonder?"
+
+"Why?" repeated the stranger, "because I like you, and it is so
+seldom I do like anyone that naturally, from the very oddity of the
+thing, I thought of you."
+
+They had moved on while talking, and now, leaving the bridge, walked
+along the embankment.  Donovan liked the man, and yet was too
+reserved and too prudent to care to make any advances to him.  The
+stranger began to see that he must take the initiative.
+
+"Have you found the work you were looking out for?" he asked, turning
+his dark restless eyes on his companion.
+
+Donovan shook his head, all his despondency returning at this
+allusion.
+
+"I thought as much from your look," said the stranger.  "You haven't
+found it such an easy matter as you expected.  If you are hard up
+though, it is just possible that I may know of employment which would
+suit you."
+
+"You!  Do you indeed?" cried Donovan, eagerly.  "But perhaps I shan't
+be up to it; I don't mind telling you that, up to a very little time
+ago, I never dreamed that I should have to work for my living; now,
+through a great injustice, I am on my own hook, with only a
+five-pound note between me and beggary."
+
+"So bad as that," said the stranger, thoughtfully, "then perhaps you
+will not be too scrupulous for the work I was thinking of; you are
+certainly well cut out for it.  Look!  If I treat you with entire
+confidence and openness, may I take it for granted that you will not
+abuse my trust?"
+
+"Of course," said Donovan, growing interested.
+
+"If you will come with me, then, to my rooms, I will explain the sort
+of work which I mean, you will not of course be bound to accept it if
+you don't like it.  My name is Frewin; the old man you met with me
+the other night is my father; we are generally called _Rouge et
+Noir_."
+
+Donovan smiled at the singular appropriateness of the nickname.  The
+stranger continued,
+
+"That you may believe me, I will tell you that it is not all from
+disinterested motives that I seek you out and try to help you, no one
+in the world goes upon such motives, self-interest is the great
+ruling principle; you are admirably suited to help me in my work,
+that is my first reason; I like you and am sorry for you, that is my
+second.  Now I have made a clean breast of it all, will you come?"
+
+"Of course I will," said Donovan, without an instant's hesitation.
+He committed himself to nothing by this, why should he not go?  And
+besides, these were the first helpful friendly words which he had
+heard for so long.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+ROUGE ET NOIR.
+
+  The fall thou darest to despise--
+  May be the angel's slackened hand
+  Has suffered it that he may rise
+  And take a firmer, surer stand;
+  Or, trusting less to earthly things,
+  May henceforth learn to use his wings.
+
+  And judge none lost, but wait and see
+  With hopeful pity, not disdain,
+  The depth of the abyss may be
+  The measure of the height of pain,
+  And love and glory that may raise
+  This soul to God in after-days.
+                                A. A. PROCTER.
+
+
+Noir Frewin took his companion up one of the narrow streets leading
+from the river, along the Strand as far as St. Mary's Church, and
+through the dingy foot-passage opening into Drury Lane.
+
+"This is not what you have been accustomed to, I expect," he said,
+taking a quick glance at Donovan's face.  "I suppose you've been
+putting up at some tip-top hotel by way of economising."
+
+Donovan coloured a little, for the surmise was true enough, but there
+was nothing impertinent in the man's tone, and he added,
+
+"You'll learn differently as you see more of life.  I've lived in
+Drury Lane on and off now for five years, and am in no hurry to leave
+the old place, dirty as it is.  Here we are!" and he stopped at the
+private door of a dingy picture-dealer's shop, admitted himself and
+Donovan, and led the way up a dark staircase to the first floor.
+
+Expecting a room of corresponding dinginess and dirtiness, Donovan
+was not a little surprised to find himself in a snug neatly-arranged
+room, where an odd combination of a variety of the brightest colours
+lent an almost Eastern look to the whole.  Curious shells and corals
+were ranged on shelves along the walls, maps and nautical charts hung
+in conspicuous places, a case of gorgeous foreign birds occupied the
+entire length of the room, and a live parrot, in a brass cage, hung
+in one of the windows, looking at the new-comers with his shrewd,
+questioning, round eyes.  Leaning back in a smoking-chair, absorbed
+in a newspaper, and with a long clay pipe between his lips, was old
+Rouge Frewin, no longer in the irreproachable suit which Donovan had
+first seen him in, but wearing a rough blue serge jacket and
+red-tasselled cap.  He hurried forward at a word from Noir with more
+than his former heartiness and good humour.
+
+"Delighted to see you, sir.  How has the world gone with you since we
+parted?  I must introduce myself to you as Captain Frewin, unless,
+perhaps, my son has already done so, Captain Frewin, formerly of the
+steamer _Astick_, Bright Star Line, carrying between Liverpool and
+New York, latterly of the _Metora_--first-rate little steamer she
+was, too--carrying between Southampton and West Africa."
+
+Donovan could hardly keep his countenance, the whole scene was so
+irresistibly comic, the funny old sea-captain, in his red
+smoking-cap, gesticulating with his long clay pipe, the odd room, and
+the sudden burst of confidence which had revealed the history of its
+owner.  But his face clouded again as Rouge asked him the same
+question as to his success in finding work which Noir had put to him
+on the embankment.  He had only just begun his dispirited answer,
+however, when he was interrupted by a loud nasal voice, which
+screamed out, "Keep up your pecker! keep up your pecker!" and
+glancing round he met the goggle eyes of the parrot.  It was too much
+for the gravity even of depressed, ruined, ill-used Donovan, he burst
+out laughing, a natural, hearty, boyish laugh, such as he had not
+enjoyed for many months.
+
+"You see Sweepstakes encourages you," said Noir, tormenting the bird
+by thrusting a piece of string through the wires of its cage.
+
+"What's its name?" asked Donovan, still laughing.
+
+"Sweepstakes, we call him," said old Rouge, coming to the rescue of
+his pet.  "I've had him for seven years, we're great friends, aren't
+we, Sweepstakes?"
+
+"Poor Sweepstakes!" said the bird, with its head on one side.  "Poor
+Sweepstakes!  'Weep, 'weep, 'weep," and he broke off into an exact
+imitation of the street cry.
+
+"We have a little business to talk over," said Noir, when the parrot
+subsided at last.  "Suppose," turning to Rouge, "you were to go to
+Olliver's and order dinner for three in half an hour, and we'll meet
+you there.  You won't refuse to dine with us, I hope," he added,
+glancing at Donovan.
+
+"Oh! no," said Rouge, heartily.  "You mustn't do that.  Besides, I've
+not half shown you round our little cabin.  I'm very proud of my
+curiosities, I can assure you.  The bird has evidently taken to you
+already.  You must make yourself quite at home."
+
+As soon as the door had closed behind the old man, Noir Frewin drew
+up a chair for his guest, and seating himself opposite, with his
+elbows planted on the table, and his chin between his hands, said,
+
+"And now, if you've the patience to listen, I will tell you a story.
+I shall trouble you with some account of my own life, because only by
+that can I show you why it is I take an interest in you.  I hate most
+of the world.  I should hate you, if you weren't unfortunate, but I
+see you are in some way the victim of injustice, and, as I told you
+before, I like you.  Bear with me a little.  This will all help to
+explain the work I propose for you.
+
+"My father, as he told you, was once the captain of a mail-steamer.
+He was, of course, absent most of the year.  I lived with my mother,
+and as soon as I left school got a clerkship in a bank at a town--no
+matter in what county.  Things went very smoothly with us for a long
+time, and at last my father, who is a very warm-hearted man and hated
+being away from his home, thought he had saved enough to retire and
+settle down in England.  He resigned his ship, and for a few months
+we lived on happily enough.  I was as contented a fellow then as
+you'd often meet with.  I liked my work, and received a good salary;
+moreover I was engaged to be married, and the future looked--well, no
+matter.  I lived in the usual fool's paradise of a lover."  He paused
+a moment, as if reviewing from the distance the old happiness, then,
+with a bitter sneer, he continued: "Of course I paid dearly for all
+this foolishness.  I don't think I was a bad fellow in those days;
+goodness knows I'd no excuse for being so, for my mother was the best
+woman in the world.  However, though I did well enough then, I
+couldn't stand the hard times that followed.  There was a grand row
+one day at the bank, for it was found that by some forgery a cheque
+for one hundred pounds had been unlawfully abstracted.  Suspicion
+fell on all those connected with the bank, and it narrowed down, as
+such things do, till it was clearly proved that either I myself or
+the son of the manager had done the deed.  Of course I had not done
+it--the truth came to light later on--but at the time everything
+seemed against me, and since the manager was not a second Brutus he
+was naturally inclined to believe his son in the right.  I don't care
+to go into all the misery of that time.  There was, of course, a
+mockery of a trial.  I was found guilty, and the real perpetrator of
+the forgery sat in court, and heard me condemned.  I saw him turn
+pale when he heard me sentenced to seven years penal
+servitude--perhaps, though, he was only thinking of the danger he had
+escaped."
+
+"But did he make no effort to save you?" questioned Donovan.  "I
+shouldn't have thought a man could have been such an utter brute."
+
+"You have yet to learn the world, then?" said Noir, with a fierce
+laugh.  "Oh! yes, of course he was kind enough to do all in his power
+to get me recommended to mercy.  I think he hoped for a lighter
+sentence.  However, what difference did it make to me?  I was sent to
+Pentonville, and there I ate my heart for a year.  Then I was sent to
+Dartmoor, and I think the change just saved me from madness.  That
+year my mother died.  We had been everything to each other.  She
+couldn't stand the disgrace which had come to us, or the separation.
+I was young, and had to stand it, but I think from that day I wasn't
+the same fellow.  The next thing which happened made me ten degrees
+worse.  In one of my father's letters--letters are very few and far
+between in convict life--I learnt that the girl I had been engaged to
+was married to another.  I told you I paid dearly for my fool's
+paradise.  After that I didn't care what happened.  Of course I had
+lost my character, and I knew that it would be next to impossible for
+me to get any situation when my term was over.  I made a friend at
+Dartmoor, a fellow of the name of Legge, a clever man, too, and
+good-natured.  We came out at the same time, and he helped me on a
+little.  But things were worse even than I had fancied.  My father,
+in his trouble and loneliness, had fallen into bad ways.  I found
+that in my seven years' absence he had become a confirmed drunkard.
+You can fancy what a return that was!  I could get no employment, and
+at last, with Legge's help, I began to practise my present
+profession."
+
+"You mean the profession you practised in the train the other night?"
+said Donovan.
+
+"Precisely," rejoined Noir, "and I've made it answer.  People may say
+what they like, but the world's one great cheat, and I delight in
+taking it in unexpectedly.  It has ruined me, why may not I get a
+little out of it in return!  I told you though that the truth would
+come to light, and my innocence came to light in time, though I
+didn't care a straw about it then.  A year after I was released from
+Dartmoor I was traced out with some difficulty by the manager of the
+bank, his son had just died and confessed to the forgery.  The
+manager tried to express his great shame and sorrow, hoped he could
+make some reparation for the injury, offered me money--think of that!
+Money to make up for the ruin of a whole life!  I told him there
+could be no reparation--that if he would bring back my mother from
+the grave, if he would reclaim my father, if he would restore me my
+betrothed, if he would give me back those wasted seven years, and
+give me again the faith in God and man which had been beaten out of
+me by the maddening injustice, then, and only then, could he repair
+the injury."
+
+"I'm glad you've told me all," said Donovan, when the narrator
+paused; "yours is a hard story certainly, bitterly hard.  How long is
+it since you were released?"
+
+"Five years," said Noir, relapsing into his ordinary tone, a quiet
+cold tone, very different from the one in which he had recounted his
+wrongs.  "I have lived here with my father chiefly, trying to keep
+him in order, but it's a hopeless task, where the taste is once
+acquired it's almost impossible for a weak-minded person to cure
+himself.  I have lived on, making money in the way I told you, and
+the other day when you got in at the Greyshot Station, there was
+something in the look of you that attracted me.  Then you played
+uncommonly well, and for the first time in my life I felt sorry that
+I was cheating a fellow.  Afterwards when you talked to that
+capitalist, I took to you still more; my father had so often been
+more of a hindrance than a help, and I couldn't help thinking what a
+capital second you would make.  That is the work I propose for you.
+You should of course have a certain percentage of the profits, and if
+you live with us, all the better; there's a room at the back which
+you could have, and though I suppose it's a very different life from
+what you've been used to, still you might do worse, and I can promise
+you what I couldn't promise to another fellow in the world--real
+honest liking.  Perhaps you will say the friendship of a professional
+gambler isn't worth having; however, such as it is I offer it to you,
+sometimes anything is better than nothing.  No, don't give me an
+answer yet.  We'll have dinner now, and you can think things over for
+a day or two, and let me know."
+
+Had Donovan given his answer then, it would probably have been a
+refusal, but he went to the Frewins' club, listened to the captain's
+long yarns, grew doubly interested in Noir, and had a series of
+brilliant successes at the card-table.  Then he went home--that is to
+his hotel, to think over the offer that had been made to him.  All
+that night he struggled with his perplexities.  On the one hand were
+his rich acquaintances coolly, if civilly, refusing to help him, on
+the other was the open hospitality and friendliness of the Frewins;
+midway between the two his conscience put in a plea for a further
+search after honest work.  In his heart of course he disapproved of
+the proposed scheme, but his principles of right and wrong were
+somewhat elastic, and just now in his anger and misery, the good
+within him was at a very low ebb.  Moreover, it was true enough, that
+these Frewins were the only people who had shown him any kindness,
+and naturally he caught at the sympathy and liking of even a bad man,
+when it was the only thing to be had; it was like the old familiar
+saying of a drowning man catching at a straw; he may know well enough
+that the straw is frail and hollow, but it is something to lay hold
+of, if only for a moment, and in the absence of a better support it
+seems worth clinging to.
+
+To say that he made the choice while he was unconscious of its evil
+would not be true; some people are so ready to admit excuses, there
+are always so many extenuating circumstances, or states of mind or
+body which account for the fall, that very few sins are put under the
+head of "Wilful."  But in after years Donovan never allowed that he
+had taken the step unconsciously.  Of course sin, taken in its usual
+sense, did not now exist for him, but he was perfectly aware that he
+was entering upon a wrong and immoral course; he made the false step
+desperately perhaps, but deliberately.  The very last words he had
+had with Noir Frewin were sufficient to prove this.
+
+"I may ask your name now?" the man had said, as they parted.  And
+Donovan, for the first time in his life, had shrunk from giving it;
+how could he let his father's name become the name of a--but there he
+checked even his thoughts, and hastily gave only his Christian name.
+
+For a little while he thought things over, as Noir had suggested; it
+was true there were ways and means of raising money, but, even if he
+had had good security to offer, he would not have cared to put
+himself into the hands of a money-lender.  Or there was another
+alternative; he had heard Mr. Probyn, Ellis Farrant's friend, relate
+proudly the length of time he had lived "on tick," as he called
+it--this was most likely the course which would have been chosen by
+nine persons out of ten, had they been placed in his
+predicament,--but there was nothing to commend this expedient to him,
+living in debt was simply robbing tradespeople, there could be no
+doubt of that; if he must live by chicanery, he might as well do so
+in a more amusing way than by a skilful eluding of duns, and it was
+better to cheat fools who chose to risk their money in a game than
+honest shopkeepers.  Thus he argued with himself, what his
+school-fellows had called "his crazy ideas of honour" coming out
+strongly; but he held fast to his theory, and never had a single
+debt.  The true and honest course never once entered into his head;
+if he had had sufficient humility to visit his father's solicitor
+again and beg his assistance, in all probability he would have been
+helped, for in such an extreme case people are often kind-hearted
+enough; but absolutely to throw himself on anyone's mercy was simply
+impossible to Donovan--he was at once too proud and too distrustful
+of human nature.
+
+The consideration ended, as might have been expected, in an
+acceptance of the Frewins' offer; in a few days Donovan was
+established in Drury Lane, and with all the natural force of his
+character, and the retaliatory spirit produced by Ellis's injustice,
+and fostered by Noir's sympathy, had plunged into the lowest and most
+painful phase of his life.
+
+
+Poor old Rouge Frewin was the only gainer by the new arrangement.  He
+had always disliked the part his son had made him play, and to be
+left at home in peace with his parrot and his pipe, and as much
+cognac as he could manage to get hold of, seemed to him all that
+heart could wish.  He took the most vehement liking to Donovan, and,
+in his odd way, was very kind to him; the secret of his affection
+probably lay in this: the new-comer treated him with respect, and the
+poor old captain was now so little used to such treatment, that it
+was doubly delightful to him.
+
+"I am a better fellow since you came," he would often say, looking up
+with real affection in his little watery eyes at the dark handsome
+face of his boy-friend--the face which seemed to grow harder, yet
+more hopelessly sad every day.
+
+It was a world of nicknames into which Donovan had fallen; in the
+club to which he and the Frewins belonged--a club which was a
+gaming-house in everything but the prohibited name--every member had
+been dubbed with some sobriquet, often of singular appropriateness.
+Noir's Dartmoor friend for instance was familiarly known as Darky
+Legge.  The two Frewins had received their names of Rouge et Noir,
+and before very long Donovan, whether he liked it or not, was
+invariably addressed as "Milord."  The parrot was the first to draw
+his attention to it, but certainly old Rouge must have taught him,
+for when ever Donovan came into the room, or attracted the bird's
+notice in any way, Sweepstakes would scream out "Well, milord!  Well,
+milord!" in his harsh voice, often adding remarks which were quite
+the reverse of complimentary.
+
+One morning, while Donovan was sitting in the little parlour with a
+cigar and a newspaper, circumstances combined together in such a way
+as to make him for the first time ashamed of himself.  They had been
+out very late on the previous night, or rather that morning, and Noir
+was lying half asleep on the sofa; as the clock struck twelve,
+however, he roused himself, and with many yawns and stretches
+prepared to go out.
+
+"Look here, milord," he said, turning at the door, "I've an
+appointment in the City, and must be off.  You'll remember that we've
+arranged to go down to Manchester by the evening express; be in the
+way about that time, and I'll join you here on the way to Euston."
+
+"All right," said Donovan, not looking up.
+
+"Yes, but be sure you remember, for I've reason to believe we shall
+make a good thing of it.  Do you hear!"
+
+"Yes," replied Donovan, shortly.
+
+"What on earth makes you such a sulky brute to-day?  One would have
+thought the luck had been against you instead of all on your side
+last night," said Noir, glancing at him rather curiously.  His
+question met with no reply, however, and with a shrug of the
+shoulders he turned away.
+
+When the door had closed behind him, Donovan threw down his paper,
+and sat silently thinking over the words which had stirred long
+dormant feelings in his heart.  How he disliked this arranging and
+scheming!--what paltry work he was engaged in!--how low and base and
+despicable it all was!  There was much to dislike, too, in Noir
+Frewin; in spite of his misfortunes, and the consequent sympathy
+which had arisen between them, there was necessarily a great deal in
+him which was most repulsive to Donovan.  Old Rouge, moreover, had
+managed to escape his son's vigilance, and had made a disgraceful
+scene on the previous evening.  Altogether, Donovan felt disappointed
+with his companions and disgusted with his work--not yet,
+unfortunately, with himself.
+
+He could not help feeling sorry, however, for Rouge when the old man
+came slowly and wearily into the room; remembering how his
+intemperance had begun, and what a good-hearted old fellow he was,
+his contempt and utter disgust, which had been strongly roused the
+previous night, died away into pity.
+
+"Good morning, captain," he said, in his usual voice, and using the
+title which he knew the old man liked better than anything.
+
+"Eh, Donovan, my lad, it's anything but a good morning," sighed poor
+Rouge, stretching himself out on the sofa.  "How one does pay for a
+little extra enjoyment!"  Then, catching a look of contempt on his
+companion's face, he added, piteously, "Don't you turn against me,
+lad; I know I'm not what I should be, but don't you give me up too;
+everyone despises me now, everyone looks down on me, and thinks
+anything good enough for such a poor old fool.  Don't you take to it
+too, lad, for you've been good to the old captain till now."
+
+"I don't wish to change," said Donovan, "but I hope you won't repeat
+last night's amusement.  How can you expect anyone to respect you,
+when--well, after all, it's no business of mine."
+
+Rouge sighed heavily.
+
+"Such is life!" screamed the parrot, mimicking the sigh.
+
+Then there was silence in the room for a few minutes, till the old
+man broke forth again, this time with the tears running down his
+cheeks.
+
+"I'm a miserable old sinner, there's no doubt of that, but I was
+driven to it.  It's easy for other people to talk who don't know what
+temptation is, but I tell you, lad, I was driven to it.  I was lonely
+and miserable, and there was more money than I knew what to do
+with--how could I help it?"
+
+Donovan did not answer; he crossed the room, and leant with his back
+against the mantelpiece, thinking--thinking more worthy thoughts than
+usual, too, for his face had something of the old bright look upon
+it, which nothing had been able to awake since Dot's death.  He liked
+this poor old man genuinely; he liked very few people in the world,
+but where his love was once given it was very true and sterling--no
+mere idle pretence, not a selfish taking of what can be got, but a
+real outgoing from self.  Given an object to spend his love upon, he
+was capable of immense self-sacrifice; it was his bitter misanthropy,
+and his resolute shutting out of the source of love, which had so
+cramped and narrowed his life.  In spite of all his shortcomings,
+there was much that was noble in his character; his face was fall of
+eager desire as he turned to the old man--the lofty, almost
+passionate desire which must come at times to those who have, if it
+be but one spark of the Divine fire, the longing to turn from evil
+those who are overwhelmed by it, to save the weak from temptation.
+
+"Captain," he began, dropping the severe, yet half contemptuous tone
+which he had at first adopted towards the poor old drunkard.
+"Captain, I know you had hard times, and have a great deal of excuse;
+but things are different now, and it's your turn to drive back along
+the road you were driven.  Look, we'll have a try together; you give
+up the drink, for a time at any rate, and so will I."
+
+"Bless my heart!" exclaimed the old captain, starting up.  "Why, my
+dear fellow, I should be dead in a month.  Do you think, after all
+these years, I could give it up in a moment?  Why, it's meat and
+drink to me; I couldn't live without it, I tell you."
+
+"More die by drinking than by abstaining," said Donovan.  "I daresay
+you'd miss it at first, but you'd soon get over it.  You couldn't be
+more miserable than you are this morning after your last night's
+carouse."
+
+"But to turn teetotaler!" exclaimed Rouge.  "Why, milord, you'd never
+hear the last of it at the club; we should be the laughing-stock of
+the place."
+
+"And do you think that you were not their laughing-stock last night?"
+said Donovan.  "Better be laughed at as a teetotaler than as a
+drunkard.  Plain-speaking, you will say, captain; but you and I don't
+generally mince matters.  Come, agree to my bargain, and my respect
+for you will rise ten degrees."
+
+"You don't think it would kill me, then?" hesitated Rouge.
+
+"Stuff! more likely to add ten years to your life," said Donovan.
+"Come, now, we'll each sign an agreement to give it up for--say three
+months."
+
+"So long," groaned poor Rouge.  "Think of the dulness!  Why, what
+will life be worth?"
+
+"Not much, indeed," said Donovan, "but more than your present life,
+at any rate."
+
+And then, after a little more discussion and hesitation, the papers
+were signed.
+
+By-and-by the old captain fell asleep on the sofa, and Donovan went
+out to get his lunch, and to test the desirability of water-drinking.
+In the afternoon he for the first time made his way to the park, with
+a sort of desire to see the side of the world from which he had been
+ejected, the gay fashionable world in which only a year before he had
+moved.  Lighting a cigar, he sat down on one of the benches, and
+scanned the faces of the passing crowd, wondering whether he should
+see any of his old acquaintance, longing, though he would hardly
+admit it to himself, for a sight of his mother.  Before he had been
+seated many minutes, a rather prim-looking lady and a bright-faced
+girl passed by, hesitated a moment, and then took the vacant places
+on the bench beside him.
+
+"We have still half an hour before the appointment; do let us sit
+here--it is such fun to watch the people."  It was a clear girlish
+voice which said this, and Donovan involuntarily looked round at the
+speaker, a little curious to see who it was who could find pleasure
+in what to him was so full of bitterness.
+
+A fair, rounded face, sunny hair, and well-opened blue-grey eyes.
+Where had he seen her before?  Somewhere, surely, for he remembered
+the face distinctly now.  It was one he had watched and admired--and
+he admired very few women.  He must have heard her speak too, for he
+recognised her rather unusual voice--a voice in every way suited to
+the face, mellow and full of tone, with a great gaiety and happiness
+ringing in it, softening off tenderly now and then into earnestness.
+He had met dozens of girls last season, but somehow she did not seem
+like a London girl; she was too fresh and simple.  Where could he
+have seen her?
+
+He listened with a good deal of interest to all she said, though it
+was nothing in the least remarkable, merely comments on the
+passers-by, and a laughing defence of fashionable people, when her
+companion complained of the frivolity and uselessness of their lives.
+
+"Now, auntie, I shall think it is because you and I are on foot and
+the grand people are driving that you find fault with them; don't you
+remember the French proverb about the pedestrians commenting on the
+carriage people?"
+
+"My dear, I should be very sorry to change places with them,"
+answered the prim-looking lady.
+
+"Yes, auntie, you would, I daresay, but really some people just
+complain of rich people because they envy them, I'm quite sure they
+do."
+
+This was rather a home-thrust to Donovan, he threw away his cigar,
+and listened more attentively, but the conversation drifted away to
+other things, home matters evidently, details and allusions which
+came very strangely to him in his semi-vagrant life--the last letters
+there had been from Dick--Nesta's quickness in reading--how father
+and mother meant to come up to town before they left.  He listened to
+it all half sadly, half amusedly, it was a glimpse of such a
+different life from his own, such a simple, innocent, pure life, with
+such strangely different interests!  An unaffected girl, sweet, and
+bright, and pure-minded, how black his life seemed in contrast with
+hers!  Musing on this he lost the thread of their conversation, and
+as they rose to go he only caught the words, "Yes, I know he doesn't
+profess much, but he's such a good man, the sort of man one can
+trust."
+
+A man one can trust! how she leant on that last word! and with what a
+sharp thrill it pierced Donovan's ear.  What would she have said of
+him had she known the sort of work he was engaged upon?  He was quite
+glad she had moved away, for he did not feel fit to be near her.  He
+had disliked Noir Frewin's plan in the morning, now he shrank from it
+doubly, in the brief revelation of purity, something of his own true
+character had been brought to the light, he began to see very faintly
+indeed, but still to see in some degree his own falseness and
+blackness.
+
+He would not go with Noir that evening; it would involve some
+trouble, no doubt, if he did not keep his appointment, Noir would be
+exceedingly vexed, there would inevitably be a quarrel when he
+returned from Manchester, and of course he would lose the opportunity
+of enriching himself, but he would not go, with the light of those
+clear grey eyes fresh in his memory he felt that he really could not.
+
+Scarcely had he made this resolution when he caught sight of his
+mother's victoria; there was Ellis Farrant looking just as usual, and
+beside him was Mrs. Farrant.  She was leaning back in the carriage so
+that Donovan only saw her face for an instant, but he fancied that
+she looked a little paler than usual, a little sad and worried.  The
+sight moved him not a little, he felt a great longing to see her
+again, and in the evening, not caring to return to Drury Lane, or to
+go to the club he was in the habit of frequenting, for fear of
+meeting the Frewins, he turned instead in the direction of Connaught
+Square.  There was the house he knew so well, the house which ought
+to have been his, with its balconies gay with flowers, and a brougham
+standing before the door.  His mother was probably going out, he
+would wait and see her an she came down the steps, but he would not
+himself be seen, that would be too humiliating, he would wait a
+little way off, and crossing the road, he leant with his back against
+the square railings.  It was a strange watch; bitter feelings mingled
+with the returning family love as he stood there in the summer
+twilight; it was hard, even his most stern condemner would have been
+forced to allow that!  He was standing alone in the street, cast off
+by those who should have helped him, watching their comfort and
+luxury from his state of misery and conscious sin.  Instinctively he
+took up poor Rouge's cry, "He has driven me to it--how can I help
+going to the dogs, it is his fault!"
+
+And then the house door opened, and one of the footmen came out to
+the carriage.  Donovan watched eagerly, and his breath came fast and
+hard.  There was his mother, quite placid and happy-looking now, with
+a white Chuddah over her shoulders, and a diamond star in her hair,
+and there was Ellis, with his opera hat, and his false smiling face,
+and his shallow politeness.
+
+Certainly, judging by the outward appearance, there could have been
+no question which was the more to be pitied, the rich man stepping
+into his carriage, or the unjustly used outcast who looked on in
+writhing bitterness of soul; but in reality Donovan's misery was as
+nothing compared with his step-father's.  Years of plotting and
+scheming, years of growing deterioration, harassing anxiety, and
+patient waiting, all this had Ellis gone through, and for what?  For
+a rich wife, a town house, and a country house, accompanied by an
+ever-present remorse, a nameless terror of discovery, a wretched
+sense of shame, and a haunting dread of his victim Donovan.  The good
+was striving within him, it would not abandon him, would not for a
+moment let him enjoy his unjust gains; he fought against it with all
+his strength, and tried to be careless and comfortable, but he fought
+in vain.
+
+They went to the opera that evening and heard "Faust"; it stung him
+as no sermon would have done.  How like his part had been to that of
+Mephistopheles! how deliberately he had planned his step-son's harm!
+And above the voices of singers and chorus, above the grand
+orchestral accompaniment, there rang in his ears one sharp despairing
+sentence, "Remember how you have goaded me on to ruin!"
+
+Faust and Margherita were nothing to him.  He hardly noticed the
+beautiful little _prima donna_.  It was the grim basso, with his red
+livery, his stealthy yet rapid movements, his satanic look of
+triumphant cunning, who preached to him that night, as no clergyman
+in surplice and stole, or gown and Geneva bands, had ever preached to
+him.  In the "serenata," where Mephistopheles sings his mocking song
+of triumph to the guitar, and augurs further successes for himself,
+Ellis sat actually shuddering at the horrible sense of likeness.  The
+song was encored.  He could bear it no longer, but shrank back into
+the very furthest corner of the box, trying not to see or hear.
+By-and-by it was all over, and Ellis, with a grey face, forced up a
+smile, and tried to talk in his ordinary way, as he led his wife to
+the carriage.  But the effort was intolerable; he was, in truth, a
+miserable man that night, but happier had he known it for that very
+misery.  It was the sign of that other Presence within him which will
+not leave us to an unequal struggle with evil.
+
+Donovan, seeing only the prosperous, outward show, knowing nothing of
+all the real remorse, watched the carriage drive off with feelings
+which in their vehemence are quite indescribable.  He was almost
+terrified himself at the storm of hatred, and anger, and wild longing
+for revenge that took possession of his heart, as well he might be,
+owning nothing to quell it but the power of his own will.  He stood
+quite still, his face pale and rigid with that terrible white-hot
+passion, the overmastering passion in which great crimes are often
+committed.  In his madness nothing was too dark for him to
+contemplate, no revenge too sharp to be resolved upon.  He had
+grasped hold of the iron railing of the garden, involuntarily turning
+away his face from the houses.  A voice close to his ear made him
+start.  If the good still strove with Ellis Farrant, still more did
+it lead Donovan, who was more sinned against than sinning, and to him
+no fiend like Mephistopheles came to scare and terrify, but a little
+child was sent to lead him.
+
+"Do you want to come in?  I thought I saw you tugging so at the gate,
+and I came to ask you."
+
+A little girl of nine or ten was addressing him, looking shyly
+through the iron bars of the gate.  No child had spoken to him since
+Dot had died.  This seemed to him like a voice from the grave, and
+instinctively, even at the remembrance of the love which he deemed
+all a thing of the past, lost to him for ever, the evil thoughts and
+the revengeful anger died out of his heart.
+
+"I should like to come in," he said, in reply to the question, "but I
+have no key."
+
+"I will ask the Fräulein to open the gate," said the little girl, and
+she ran across the garden, returning in a few minutes with a German
+lady, who looked up from her knitting rather curiously to see this
+gentleman who was waiting for admittance.  It was easily explained.
+He had not a key, but he pointed to his mother's house in the square.
+The Fräulein, without any demur, unlocked the gate and admitted him.
+
+He had not often been into the garden before, but two or three times
+he had brought Dot there in her invalid chair, and the place was
+therefore sacred to him.  He went at once to her favourite seat, and
+there, in the cool of the summer evening, better thoughts returned to
+him.  It had been a hot day.  The children were all enjoying the
+change; they had the garden almost to themselves, and, as they
+played, their laughter and chatter floated to him.  It was what he
+wanted; something innocent, and pure, and merry.  A faint, very faint
+return of little Dot's influence came back to him, and when he left
+the garden again he was a better man.
+
+Drury Lane had never seemed to him so dingy as when he returned to it
+that evening.  A street-organ was playing a popular air in one part,
+and a crowd of wretched-looking bare-headed girls were dancing on the
+pavement.  Every now and then he passed one of those appalling courts
+or alleys which open into the lane, and, pausing once or twice, he
+caught a glimpse of the seething human crowd, the filth and misery
+which they lived in; then on again past the shabby gaslit shops, the
+disreputable-looking passengers, until he almost fell over a little
+child who ought to have been in bed long before, but who was sitting
+on the curb-stone, grubbing with both hands in a heap of mud in the
+gutter.  Donovan was very tender over little children.  He stooped
+down at once to see whether he had hurt the small elf.  A pair of
+dancing blue eyes looked up at him from a dirty little face, and
+something very unsavoury was held towards him, while, with the
+confidence of a great discoverer, the elf shouted, gleefully,
+
+"See what I've got!  A real old duck's foot!  A real old duck's foot!"
+
+It was a very pitiful sight, but it touched Donovan; he dropped a
+penny into the hand which was not occupied with the new treasure and
+went away moralizing, till, reaching the print-shop, he drew out his
+key and went up the stairs to the deserted rooms, for even Rouge was
+gone, and, for the next three days, Donovan was left to the tender
+mercies of Waif and Sweepstakes.
+
+He lit the gas and took up a book, but the bird awaking caught sight
+of him, and instantly began in his most scolding tones,
+
+"Well, milord, aint you a fool!  Oh, lor, aint you a fool!"
+
+Evidently the Frewins had not made any complimentary remarks upon his
+absence, and doubtless poor Rouge had hardly been fit for the
+journey.  But he could not help it; if he had not seen that
+bright-faced girl, and been so shamed by her unconscious words, it
+would have been different.  What a strange glimpse of another kind of
+life she had given him!
+
+Sweepstakes sat with his shrewd grey head on one side, and his
+crimson tail feathers drooped; before long, with a wicked look in his
+round eyes, he began to say plaintively,
+
+  "Be yit fever so wumble,
+  There's no place li k'ome."
+
+
+"Be quiet," said Donovan, sharply, for the words did not at all suit
+his present frame of mind.
+
+But Sweepstakes only reiterated,
+
+  "Be yit t'ever so wumble,
+  There's no place like--"
+
+
+Donovan made a dash at the cage with a cloth and interrupted the
+song, a proceeding which enraged the parrot.
+
+"You go to Tophet!" he screamed, angrily, and then, being out of
+temper, he swore for five minutes on end, till, for the sake of
+peace, Donovan had to make up the quarrel.
+
+But there was a good deal of obstinacy about Sweepstakes, and, though
+he allowed his anger to be appeased by a Brazil nut, he treated
+Donovan for the rest of the evening to a mild muttered refrain of "Be
+yit ever so wumble, umble, umble----" _ad infinitum_.
+
+For the first time since he had been in London, Donovan that night
+went to his room early; he had got into the habit of turning night
+into day.  But he was dull that evening and tired, and it was not
+much after half-past eleven when he left Sweepstakes for the night
+and turned into his own shabby little room at the back.  A dreary
+lodging-house bed-room it was, with a strip or two of carpet thrown
+down over the dirty unscrubbed floor, a mouldering green wall-paper,
+and over the fireplace one solitary picture in a gilt frame black
+with age, a dingy sea-piece in oils, a ship being dashed to pieces on
+rocks.  A room is said to show in a certain fashion the character of
+its occupant; there were only four things here which could in any way
+bear traces of Donovan's individuality.  On the mantelpiece was Dot's
+cathedral clock, in one corner a great bath, on the chest of drawers
+one or two anti-theological books by Luke Raeburn, and at the foot of
+the bed a woolly rug for Waif.
+
+The window was open; it looked out on to that fearful net-work of
+byeways and alleys which Donovan had seen as he came home.  He had
+often seen them before, but one can see many times and yet never
+observe.  He had generally gone to his room between three and four in
+the morning when all was quiet enough; this evening it was just after
+closing time; the public-houses had let loose their wretched throng,
+and the cry of the city went up to heaven.  People talk of the noise
+of London, and think generally of the street traffic, the crowded
+pavements, and the ceaseless wheels, but let them once hear the
+appalling noise of human life in a poor quarter, and they will not
+complain of anything else.  Wild, drunken singing, fierce quarrels,
+blows, cursing, a Babel of tongues, a wailing of children, angry
+disputes between men and women, in which too often the woman's voice
+in its awful harshness seems unlike that of a human creature.  These
+are the sounds one may hear, the fearful realities which make up the
+dark side of the world's metropolis.
+
+Donovan stood beside the open window and let all this tide of human
+wretchedness beat upon his ear.  He was shocked and awed, struck with
+a great pity and indignation, for he was not hard-hearted, only
+narrow-hearted, and though this crampedness kept him from action it
+did not prevent the great suffering of humanity from touching him
+with a sense of pity.  The incomprehensible suffering! what a mystery
+it was! it made him wretched and pitiful, and yet angry, though where
+the fault of all lay he could not have said.  Christianity, or rather
+the horribly false notions of Christianity which he had received,
+would have said that all these drunkards and degraded beings were
+forging the chains which should bind them for ever and ever in hell;
+according to Mrs. Doery's ideas the West End must have seemed the
+region of the elect, and Drury Lane the abode of that other numerous
+band who were foredoomed to everlasting torture.  Perhaps almost
+naturally Donovan had a fellow feeling for sinners, for in his very
+young days, when he had for a short time believed in what he was
+taught, he had fully made up his mind that Doery was one of the
+elect, and that he had better go to the other place; now from his
+atheism, with which he persuaded himself he was quite contented, he
+looked back with pity, and yet with a little amusement, on the
+picture of his sturdy defiant childhood, which preferred even the
+awfully described fiery furnaces to companionship with Doery in an
+unjust and partial favour.
+
+He turned away from the window at last, but not till he had closed it
+and drawn down the blind; he shut out the misery of his fellows as he
+shut out many other things, for at present he was one of those who as
+Coleridge puts it--
+
+  "Sigh for wretchedness, yet shun the wretched."
+
+
+It was not to be expected that the passing words of a stranger would
+be sufficient to alter the whole current of Donovan's life, nor did
+Gladys Tremain exercise such an unheard of influence.  The Frewins
+returned, and after sundry upbraidings from Rouge and a sharp quarrel
+with Noir, things fell back again to their former state.
+
+Once, quite unexpectedly, he met the grey-eyed stranger again, two or
+three weeks after their encounter in the park.  It was a July
+evening, the Frewins, Legge, Donovan, and two or three other men were
+travelling up together from Goodwood.  The train was crowded; Mrs.
+Causton and Gladys, who had been spending the day with some friends,
+were waiting on the platform of a station not far from Chichester,
+but they found it almost impossible to get places.
+
+"Such a dreadful crowd, and such disagreeable-looking people," said
+poor Mrs. Causton, nervously, "what is the reason of it?"
+
+"Goodwood races, mum," said the porter, wondering at her ignorance,
+"there's room for one in here, and one next door; come, miss, the
+train's just starting."
+
+"My dear! you can't go alone in there," said Mrs. Causton,
+distractedly, looking at the not too reputable travellers, but the
+next carriage was every bit as bad, the train began to move, there
+was really no help for it, whether she liked it or not, Gladys was
+shut in alone among this strange-looking crew.  She knew there was
+nothing to fear, but at the same time it was a very uncomfortable
+predicament, a fast girl would have been amused by such a novel
+adventure, but Gladys was not fast, she was a pure womanly woman, and
+though she could not have explained why, she had a peculiar shrinking
+from these people.  The little conversation at the door too had
+attracted the notice of a coarse-looking man who was sitting next
+her; he turned round upon her with a cool inquisitive stare, and then
+made some remark to his neighbour on the other side which caused a
+general laugh, and Gladys, though she would not have understood a
+word even had.  she heard, felt the colour flame up in her cheeks.
+
+"Why can't you behave decently?" said a voice from the other side of
+the carriage.
+
+"Rouge, it's your deal."
+
+Then Gladys, who had instinctively lowered her eyes, looked up, for
+the attention of the passengers was diverted from her; with an
+overcoat spread over their knees, by way of a table, they were soon
+absorbed in a game of "Nap."  She looked round at their faces with a
+sort of longing to find one from which she need not shrink; all
+seemed bad, or coarse, or in some way repulsive; exactly opposite her
+was an elderly man fast asleep, next to him was the one who had
+called his companions to order.  Gladys looked at his face half
+hopefully, the voice had at least been refined, and the words--well,
+the best she had heard in this company.  The face too was not
+otherwise than refined, the features were strikingly handsome, there
+were no tokens of excess about the clear dark complexion, but oh!
+what a hard bitter saturnine look there was about the whole; he was
+evidently much younger than any of his companions, yet not one of
+them looked so reckless and hardened, still she felt that he was a
+gentleman, and was at once less uncomfortable and forlorn; apparently
+he took not the slightest notice of her, and that was pleasant after
+the uncomfortable rude staring and comments.
+
+It was a very strange and very sad revelation to her--a side of life
+which she had heard of indeed, but had never in the least realised;
+the temptations of the world, the flesh, and the devil had never
+shaped themselves in her thoughts into anything half so terrible as
+this.  She had felt impatient when Mrs. Causton had lamented the
+temptations of London life for Stephen, yet the danger was no
+imaginary one, for here was one who could not be older than Stephen
+or Dick surrounded by evil companions, gambling with a recklessness
+and _sang froid_ which bespoke long habit.  There was a sort of
+horrible fascination in it all, she could not help watching the eager
+faces; on all of them was written the strong desire of gain, on all,
+except that one dark saturnine face opposite her, which, though
+apparently caring for little else but the game, never seemed to
+unbend, in spite of repeated successes.  Gladys watched him as he
+pocketed his winnings, watched pityingly his unmoved face, and once
+he looked up and their eyes met.  It was not a look from which she
+need shrink; the eyes were not bad eyes--they were very strange,
+hungry-looking, sad ones.  She understood then why he was so
+different from his companions--evidently in his heart he disliked the
+life he was leading.  By-and-by a dispute arose, a fierce, loud
+altercation between her disagreeable neighbour and one of the other
+men; language such as she had never heard was shouted across the
+carriage, the lookers-on laughed.  Poor Gladys glanced across in
+despair to the one passenger in whom she had any faith; he was
+leaning back with a look of ineffable disgust and weariness on his
+handsome face, but, as the angry Babel grew louder, he turned to
+Gladys; she hardly knew whether she were relieved or only more
+frightened when he bent forward to speak to her.
+
+"This must be very unpleasant for you," he said, and she knew at once
+from his manner that she had found a protector.  "We shall be at a
+station in a minute or two, and then, if you like, I will offer to
+change places with the lady you are with."
+
+"Oh!  thank you so much," said Gladys, her frightened eyes
+brightening with gratitude and relief.  "My aunt is in the next
+carriage, if you really wouldn't mind----"
+
+"Not in the least; I wish I had thought of it before, that you might
+have been saved this unpleasantness."
+
+Then, without another word, he returned to his former position, but
+with a less hard and contemptuous expression than before.  The others
+appealed to him for his opinion in the matter of the dispute, and he
+spoke coldly and quietly, but evidently what he said was to the
+point; the disputants quieted down, and agreed to some sort of
+compromise.  At last, to Gladys' intense relief, they reached the
+station.  Donovan got up and let down the window, then, looking back,
+said carelessly,
+
+"You can leave me out in the next deal; I'm going to change
+carriages."
+
+The announcement caused a chorus of inquiry.
+
+"What's up with milord now?" asked Gladys' neighbour.
+
+"Oh! some craze, I suppose," said a dark-browed man on the other side
+of the carriage; "he took a moral fit the other night, and rushed
+away no one knew where.  There's no reckoning on him--'a wilful man
+must have his'----  Why, what's this?" as Donovan returned to help
+Mrs. Causton in.  "We didn't reckon on this, at any rate.  Donovan,
+what _are_ you thinking of?"
+
+"A cigar in peace next door," he replied readily; and then he
+retreated, leaving Gladys greatly relieved, and the card-players not
+a little embarrassed by the large bundle of tracts which Mrs. Causton
+began to distribute among them.  At London Bridge they saw him again
+for a minute, and Mrs. Causton pressed two tracts into his hand and
+thanked him for his courtesy.  Gladys looked up at him shyly and
+gratefully, but did not speak again, except, as he raised his hat and
+turned away, to utter one earnest-toned "good-bye."  He heard it, and
+treasured it up in his heart--a wish, he knew it was, no mere formal
+parting, but the wish of a pure-minded woman that good might be with
+him.
+
+Gladys watched sadly as Noir Frewin rejoined her protector; he was
+thoroughly out of temper, as she had seen on the journey, and greeted
+his companion with a torrent of angry reproaches.  Gladys caught only
+a word or two here and there--"Confounded folly!--playing fast and
+loose with the agreement!"--and one bitter taunt--"A pretty
+knight-errant to help distressed ladies, such as you, a
+professional----"
+
+But the word gambler did not reach Gladys.  She did not then learn
+what a life Donovan was leading, but she had seen and heard quite
+enough to know that he was in great need of help, and from that night
+he always had a place in her prayers.  Without that how could she
+have borne the revelation of evil and wretchedness, the contrast
+between the shielded life of those she knew, and the life of constant
+temptation of these her fellow-creatures.  Painful as the evening's
+experience had been, she could not altogether regret it.  In
+after-life she thanked God for that brief journey, upon which had
+hinged so much.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+"THE RAVEN FOR A GUIDE."
+
+                What thou wouldst highly
+  That wouldst thou holily; wouldst not play false,
+  And yet wouldst wrongly win.
+                                          _Macbeth._
+
+  Till life is coming back, our death we do not feel,
+  Light must be entering in, our darkness to reveal.
+                                  ARCHBISHOP TRENCH.
+
+
+As the autumn wove on, both the dog and his master began to show
+traces of the life they were living.  Poor Waif pined for the
+country.  He had always been his master's companion in his long rides
+and walks, and town life was of course a great and very undesirable
+change for him.  Donovan, too, lost his strength considerably.  It
+was an unhealthy life he was leading, full of the worst kind of
+excitement; at times idle and unoccupied, at times full of fatigue.
+Naturally, too, his state of mind told on his physical strength.  The
+year beginning with the terrible strain of little Dot's death, had
+brought him overwhelming grief; the long spring months had been spent
+in a fierce inward struggle, a vain search for peace; then had
+followed his quarrel with Ellis and his expulsion from Oakdene, and
+ever since that he had been in the poisoned atmosphere of the society
+into which Noir Frewin had led him.  No wonder that as the winter
+advanced he began to fail; even the Frewins, who were not more
+observant of such trivial matters than selfish people usually are,
+noticed at last that something was wrong.
+
+"There's no getting a rise out of the boy now," observed Rouge, one
+December afternoon.  "I don't know what's come to him, unless, as I
+expect, it's this absurd fad he's taken into his head about
+water-drinking.  I told him it was enough to kill a fellow to give it
+up all at once like that.  I should have died that very week, if I'd
+kept my agreement."
+
+Noir gave a contemptuous sneer.
+
+"No fear of your dying in that way, at any rate.  I wonder Donovan
+was ever such a fool as to think you'd give it up.  He is an odd
+fish.  There's no making him out."
+
+Rouge glanced at the subject of all this talk, who was lying asleep
+on the sofa, and then for the first time he noticed how worn and thin
+he was.  All the boyishness had gone from his face now.
+
+"I say, Noir, he looks to me uncommonly queer," said the old captain.
+"I've seen one or two fellows look like that before now.  There was
+one, I remember, on the _Metora_."
+
+"Pooh!  I daresay many of them looked badly enough before they'd
+found their sea-legs," said Noir, coolly.
+
+"Well, the fellow I mean died," said the captain, impressively.  "And
+I must say milord does look to me awfully out of health."
+
+"Oh! nonsense.  He's only seedy--a cold, or something of that sort.
+We got drenched the other night coming from Legge's place.  It's time
+we were starting.  Just wake him up."
+
+Rouge complied, and Donovan started up at once, and looked sleepily
+at his watch.
+
+"Time to go?  Oh!  I'd forgotten.  It's this Brighton scheme."
+
+He looked wretchedly ill and tired, not at all fit to turn out of the
+warm room into the cold drizzle of the December twilight, but he was
+not one to shirk an engagement for the sake of mere bodily
+disinclination, and there was no one to tell him what madness it was
+to trifle with such a severe chill as he had taken.  He drew on his
+great-coat, and without a word stood waiting for Noir, who was
+sorting his cards on a side-table.
+
+"Take my advice," said Rouge, paternally, "and have something just to
+hearten you up before you go.  With such a cold you want something to
+warm the cockles of your heart."
+
+For the moment Donovan was strongly tempted.  He did feel very much
+in need of some such comfort, but his hesitation was but momentary.
+He knew that his only hope of influencing the old captain lay in the
+steadiest adherence to his plan of abstinence.  The three months of
+the agreement were over, but, though Rouge had long ago broken his
+pledge, his companion's example had often kept him from excess, and
+Donovan knew well enough that even for his own sake the safe-guard
+was a very good thing.
+
+"Oh! as to the cockles of one's heart," he said, laughing, "that's
+all bosh; one only takes cold the easier, as any doctor would tell
+you.  Present loss, future gain, is our motto to-day; ought to bag a
+good many head of game to make up for turning out in this wet mist.
+Good-bye, captain; look after Waif."
+
+And then Noir and his young accomplice set out on their expedition.
+As they passed the window of the print-shop, Donovan involuntarily
+paused.
+
+"Why, there's your very double," he said, laughing; and, in spite of
+the rain, Noir stopped to see what he meant.
+
+It was an old print of Brunei the engineer.  The curious forehead and
+eyebrows, and the general cast of countenance, certainly bore a
+strong resemblance to Noir, though the expression was very different.
+Underneath, in copper-plate, was written the couplet--
+
+  "Whose public works will best attest his fame,
+  Whilst private worth adds value to his name."
+
+It was rather a curious contrast to Noir Frewin's life, and the words
+stung him.
+
+"Well, well!" he said, with his bitter laugh, "my 'public works' are
+not of the first water, perhaps; you needn't give me that epitaph."
+
+The Brighton expedition proved a great success.  Noir and Donovan
+returned in two or three days' time well content.  They had chosen an
+evening train to come back by.  Noir went on as usual to select a
+favourable carriage; Donovan followed him more leisurely, for it
+answered their purpose best not to appear to be companions.
+Donovan's part was usually that of a decoy, a well-to-do,
+gentlemanly-looking fellow who consented to play, and thus induced
+others to try their hand.  Noir had this evening chosen a most
+auspicious-looking carriage full of young men returning to town, for
+it was the week after Christmas, and, the brief holiday being over,
+many had chosen this late train to take them back to the busy London
+life again.  Scarcely had they left the station, however, when Noir's
+countenance suddenly fell; two or three of the passengers were
+commenting on a placard which, printed in large letters, was put up
+on the side of the carriage.  He was vexed and disconcerted, for it
+effectually put an end to his schemes for the journey.  With a slight
+warning pressure on his companion's foot, he drew his attention to
+the placard which was above his head.  Not in the least knowing what
+to expect, Donovan took off his hat and put it in the netting, thus
+getting an opportunity of turning round, and there, staring at him in
+large type, were words which he never forgot, words which seemed to
+burn themselves in upon his brain at the very first reading.
+"Caution.  Passengers are earnestly recommended to beware of
+pickpockets and card-sharpers dressed as gentlemen," £c, &c.  He
+could read no further; he fell back into his place like one stunned,
+then the hot colour rushed to his cheeks, mounted higher and higher
+till his whole face seemed to burn and tingle.  Had he actually come
+to this?  Was he, Donovan Farrant, a cheat against whom the public
+must be warned, classed with pickpockets?  He, his father's only son,
+had sunk so low then, that this description would apply to him--a
+"card-sharper dressed as a gentleman!"  That moment's sharp
+realisation was terrible.  Noir, anxious to veil his sudden
+confusion, held out a newspaper to him; but he only shook his head,
+and the elder man, who was merely annoyed by the occurrence, began to
+feel alarmed at the strange effect the caution had had on his
+accomplice.  Such misery, such shame, were written on his face that
+Noir began to fear he should lose his able assistance.
+
+They got out at London Bridge, and he linked his arm within Donovan's
+with an anxious attempt at raillery.
+
+"Why, milord, what made you play such a false card just now,
+colouring up like a girl at a mere piece of paper?  I gave you credit
+for more self-control."
+
+Donovan bit his lip; the last words vexed him, and changed the
+current of his thoughts, for he rather prided himself on his powers
+of self-control, which were indeed considerable.
+
+"It startled me," he confessed, after a brief silence.  Then again,
+with a slight hesitation, "Noir, do you consider yourself a
+card-sharper?"
+
+The question was asked with a kind of innocence which made Noir
+shudder; he forced up a mocking laugh, however.
+
+"Ask a thief if he considers himself a thief, and he will tell you
+'no,' but a professional adept, with a gift for acquiring other
+people's property."
+
+Donovan winced.
+
+"If that's the definition of a thief, you and I belong pretty much to
+the same class."
+
+Noir wrenched away his arm.
+
+"And what do I care if we do?" he cried, angrily; "I don't know what
+makes you so cantankerous to-night.  Have you forgotten your
+favourite maxim, that the world is a mass of injustice, and that a
+little more or less evil makes no difference?  You stand by that, and
+I'll undertake to stand by you, for the world is unjust, and I
+delight in cheating it when I've the opportunity.  If you're going to
+turn moral, milord, we'll dissolve partnership at once, and you can
+go back to those fine friends you know, who were so ready to help you
+before you came to us."
+
+Donovan did not reply to this taunt, he only shivered and drew his
+comforter over his mouth.  He felt worn out and giddy, his steps
+began to falter, and Noir, who in his strange rough fashion loved
+him, forgot his anger, and taking his arm again, half dragged him
+home.
+
+"The fact is, you're seedy and down in the mouth, Donovan," he said,
+as they reached their rooms, "you'll see things very differently
+to-morrow."
+
+Donovan did not answer, he stumbled up the dark staircase after Noir,
+and followed him into the parlour.  There, with the gas flaring, a
+huge fire blazing up the chimney, and supper waiting on the table,
+was the old captain; his hearty welcome was generally pleasant
+enough, but this evening Donovan felt he could not stand it.  He was
+half perished with cold and involuntarily made for the fire, but it
+was only for a minute, the warm comfortable room was not in keeping
+with his doubt and misery.
+
+  "Double, double,
+  Toil and trouble,"
+
+sang Sweepstakes, following the tall dark figure with his shrewd eye,
+"Double--double--dou-ble----dou--ble."
+
+"First-rate luck all three days," Noir was saying.  "To-night our
+little game was stopped, and milord's down in the depths.  Here,
+Donovan, come to supper, we didn't get much of a feed at Brighton."
+
+But Donovan shook his head.
+
+"Good night, captain," he said, and, disregarding Rouge's
+remonstrances, left the room.  He opened his own door, and Waif, with
+whines of delight, sprang to greet him.
+
+"Waif--poor old fellow!" he exclaimed, stooping for a minute over the
+dog, but hastily raising himself again.  "No, no, down, get down, I
+say, I'm not fit to touch you."
+
+Poor Waif was utterly bewildered, his master had never spoken to him
+in that way before, something must be wrong, very much wrong.  It was
+dark, but the faintest glimmer of light from the uncurtained window
+served to show him that his master had thrown himself on the ground,
+it was a sure sign that he was in trouble, Waif knew that perfectly
+well, and did not just at first dare to interrupt him; he walked
+disconsolately round and round him, stopping.  every minute or two to
+sniff at him, listen, whine in a subdued way.
+
+Donovan was beyond dog help just then, in the depth of his
+self-abasement he could not sink low enough, in his abject
+self-loathing to be touched by a being whom he loved would have been
+unbearable.  He had known well enough that he was doing wrong before.
+Something of his blackness had been borne in upon him when Gladys
+Tremain had spoken those words in the Park, but now it was all before
+him, in hideous array, the very vision of sin itself.  How could he
+have delighted in anything so ghastly? it was not even a great
+revenge he had taken on the unjust world, but the pettiest, meanest,
+most despicable revenge.  What had he not fallen to in these months?
+why, these hands of his--the hands that had waited on Dot--had
+stooped to pick up paltry half-crowns won by cheating foolish
+wretches in a railway-carriage.  And then came the remembrance of his
+father.  "You are hardly in a position, Dono, to speak of breaches of
+honour."  Not even then! oh! what would his father have said to him
+now!  Yet little as he had known of him, that little was enough to
+tell him that his father would always think more of the future than
+of the past.  There was a future for him even now, he must no longer
+wage war upon the unjust world, he must--he _would_ alter his way of
+living if only for the sake of redeeming his father's name.  But for
+the first time in his life he felt a want in himself, that agony of
+remorse, despair, utter self-abhorrence had done its work, he was no
+longer blindly confident in his own strength.
+
+Presently from sheer exhaustion he fell asleep.  Waif was happier
+when he heard the deep regular breaths; a strange process of thinking
+began in the dog mind.  He went back to his woolly rug and lay down,
+but in a minute jumped up again, ran to his master, licked his hand,
+and then returned to his rug.  Still he could not settle himself to
+sleep, a second and a third time he got up, making an uneasy circuit
+round the prostrate figure on the ground.  At last, as if unable to
+lie on his rug while Donovan was on the floor, he curled himself up
+at his feet, and there slept peacefully.
+
+In the adjoining room Noir, having made a hearty meal, drew up his
+chair to the fire and lighted his evening pipe.  The old captain was
+evidently uneasy.  Noir was uneasy, too, in reality, but he kept it
+to himself.
+
+"He's a very queer customer that lad," said Rouge, meditatively.
+"You think it really is this piece of paper which frightened him?"
+
+"Yes, he's young," said Noir, in an excusing tone.  "It gave him a
+turn, I daresay it will soon pass off.  If not we must get a little
+change somehow.  It wouldn't be a bad plan to go abroad for a month
+or two, plenty to be done there, and he'd be sure to like it.  After
+all, of course we do run some risk here; a month or two of absence
+wouldn't be a bad notion."
+
+"'He who prigs what isn't his'n,'" quoted Rouge.  "Well, don't carry
+it too far, and don't drive the boy away, whatever you do."
+
+"No, no, I'd sacrifice a good deal to keep him," said Noir, "but he's
+thoroughly upset to-night about it."
+
+Presently the old captain lighted his candle and went up to bed, but
+Noir sat on long after his pipe was finished, long after the fire had
+sunk down in the grate to a handful of dying embers; he was thinking,
+brooding painfully over the comparative innocence of his boy
+accomplice, and his own villainy.  How despairing and wild the fellow
+had looked, too, as he left the room; he quite started when the door
+opened, and Rouge, with his nightcap on, appeared again upon the
+scene.
+
+"I say, Noir, I don't feel happy about that boy.  It was very strange
+of him to go off like that with no supper."
+
+"Pooh!" said Noir, contemptuously, though his father was speaking his
+own thoughts.  "He's ashamed of himself and vexed about that caution."
+
+"Yes; but to go off ill as he is, cold and supperless.  If he was a
+Catholic he might do it as penance, but he's nothing, you know."
+
+It did not strike them that in very deep inward trouble it is at
+times impossible to enjoy or permit bodily ease; indeed, if the poor
+old captain had been guilty of the most heinous crime, he would
+probably have eaten his supper after its committal, and found a
+solace in the eating to his pangs of remorse.  He could not
+understand anything which went deeper than this, and his good heart
+had been stirred with pity as he lay down warmed and satisfied in his
+comfortable feather-bed.
+
+Noir's thoughts went at once to darker suspicious; he had seen
+something of that same despairing look on Donovan's face when, on
+that bright June afternoon, he had watched him unknown on Westminster
+Bridge.  He had read his intentions then, was it possible that misery
+and shame had driven him again to the same longing?
+
+"We'll just give him a look on our way up," he said, carelessly.  And
+then he turned the door-handle noiselessly, and with well-disguised
+anxiety stole in; the room was very quiet, the bed empty.  Noir's
+heart stood still, and, with an exclamation of dismay, he hurried to
+the dark form which was stretched out on the floor.
+
+"Bring the candle quick," he said to his father, and Rouge, trembling
+with fear, held the light nearer, while Waif growled a little at the
+unusual disturbance.
+
+Noir bent down for a moment close to the half-hidden face, then he
+started up again with an expression of relief, which came rather
+oddly from his lips--
+
+"Thank God!"
+
+"Well, it did give me a turn," said the old captain, stooping to pat
+the dog.
+
+"Hush!" said Noir, "you'll wake him."
+
+And then for a minute the shabby little room witnessed a strange
+scene.  Donovan stirred uneasily, half turned round, but sank again
+into profound sleep, and the two Frewins bent over him, why, they
+could scarcely have said, but in their relief it seemed almost a
+necessity.  They watched the face of the sleeper--flushed as if even
+now the shame were making itself felt--the sad face which seemed all
+the more despairing because of its stillness, the fixedness of its
+misery.  And Noir's heart smote him, his conscience cried out loudly,
+"You have brought him to this, you have dragged this boy down into
+shame and dishonesty."
+
+Rouge thought only of the discomforts of a night on the floor.
+
+"Wake him up," he urged.  "It's frightfully cold, he oughtn't to be
+there."
+
+But Noir would not wake him, he knew that it would be cruel to bring
+him back to his anguish of remorse.  Rouge could never understand
+anything higher than bodily comfort, it was what he lived for; his
+son, though a far worse man, had nevertheless a capability of
+entering into greater things, he had himself sinned and suffered, and
+though it was years since he had known real remorse, he had once
+known it, and to a certain extent he understood Donovan's feelings.
+
+"Better leave him," he said; but, with the words upon his lips, he
+nevertheless turned to the bed, and, dragging off a railway-rug which
+covered it, threw it over the prostrate form on the floor.  Strangely
+indeed in life do the lights and shades intermix, faint flickering of
+the light divine stealing in, in spite of the vast black shades of
+sin.
+
+The next day--the last of the year--was a dreary one in the Frewins'
+rooms.  Noir kept out of the way, not caring to face his accomplice;
+old Rouge, in great depression, dusted his curiosities as usual, and
+put things tidy and ship-shape; and Donovan sat coughing and
+shivering over the fire, with an expression of such despondency,
+often of such terrible suffering, that the old captain scarcely dared
+to speak to him.  The sharpness of his remorse had for the time died
+away, it was swallowed up in the misery of his recollections, for
+this was the anniversary of Dot's last day of life, and remembrances
+strange, tender, pitiful, but always full of pain, thronged up in his
+mind.  Brooding over it all, his brain excited with the events of the
+past night, his body worn out with pain, it was no wonder that the
+overtaxed nature at last gave way.
+
+His mood seemed to change; Rouge, who had not been able to extract a
+word from him all day, was astounded as the evening drew on to find
+him suddenly in the wildest spirits.
+
+"Come," he said, "we'll go to Olliver's; it's time we had dinner.
+Come along, captain."
+
+And poor old Rouge found himself dragged off, in spite of his
+remonstrances.
+
+"You'd better not go out, milord; you're really not fit."
+
+"Not fit!" said Donovan, with a mad laugh, cut short by a cough.
+"I'm fit for anything.  Come along, old fellow; we'll drown care,
+stifle it, kill it, what you like!"
+
+Rouge, really frightened, panted along after his crazy companion,
+with difficulty keeping pace with his fevered steps; and then ensued
+an evening of mad merriment.  A year ago, only a year ago, and
+Donovan had been watching Dot's last agony; with the strong manly
+tenderness of great love he had held the little quivering hands in
+his, now in a crowded billiard-room he grasped the cue instead, and
+betted wildly, losing, winning, winning again considerably, then with
+the Frewins, and Legge, and two or three other companions returning
+to Drury Lane and gambling the old year out and the new year in.
+
+"I back the winner, I back the winner!" screamed Sweepstakes from his
+cage.
+
+And above the sounds of dispute, and merriment, and eager play, the
+clock of St. Mary's Church struck twelve, and in the distance Big
+Ben's deep notes echoed over the city, and, just because an agony of
+remembrance rushed back into Donovan's mind, he staked higher and
+higher.  The room rang with his wild laughter.
+
+Noir broke up the gathering much earlier than usual, and with flushed
+cheeks and wild glittering eyes Donovan staggered to his feet; but he
+could hardly stand, his head seemed weighted, his limbs powerless.
+
+"I've done for myself now," he said, catching at Noir to keep himself
+up.  Noir did not answer; with his father's assistance he helped him
+into the next room, and with some pangs of conscience kept guard over
+him through the night of mad excitement and misery which followed.
+
+The next morning the bright new year broke over the great city, there
+were _fêtes_, and rejoicings, and merry family parties, but in the
+lodging-house in Drury Lane all was silent, even at night no
+gamblers' wild revelry broke the stillness, for Donovan was
+prostrated by an attack of congestion of the lungs in its acutest
+form.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+STRUGGLING ON.
+
+Men are led by strange ways.  One should have tolerance for a man,
+hope of him; leave him to try yet what he will do.
+                            _On Heroes and Hero-worship._
+
+May we not again say, that in the huge mass of evil, as it rolls and
+swells, there is ever some good working imprisoned; working towards
+deliverance and triumph?
+                            _French Revolution._  CARLYLE.
+
+
+He had known for a long time that he was out of health, and at times
+the dread of being ill had haunted him painfully, as it will at times
+haunt those who are practically homeless.  For it is indeed very
+terrible to face the thought of illness with no mother at hand to
+nurse you, no sister to whom the duties of tending will be a pleasure
+rather than a tiresome duty, no house in which you have a right to be
+ill, where you need not feel burdened with the sense of the trouble
+you are causing.  To Donovan, with his utter want of belief in human
+nature, or in the very existence of anything above human nature, the
+sense of helplessness came with double power; only, fortunately for
+him, things were not really as he believed.  Close beside him, though
+unknown, the love of the All-Father watched and shielded from evil
+the son who, by such wretched wanderings, was being led on.  And the
+pity which springs up very readily in most of our hearts, when we are
+brought face to face with pain, brought human help and comfort to his
+sick-bed.  The landlady, careworn and harassed with many children and
+a good-for-nothing husband, yet found time to do the few absolutely
+necessary things in the sick-room; she could not help being sorry for
+her apparently friendless lodger.  Once or twice she pained him
+terribly by asking,
+
+"Haven't you no mother who could come and see to you?"
+
+And Donovan would sign a negative, and, when she had left him to
+himself, would feel the loneliness and suffering with double keenness.
+
+Noir Frewin would come in two or three times a day and ask how he
+was; the old captain would hang about the room with anxiety written
+on his kind old face, but he missed his companion's vigilance and
+example, the drinking mania seized him strongly, and he was seldom
+quite sober.  There was one other amateur nurse, the poor little
+over-driven servant.  She used to shuffle into the room every now and
+then, and with infinite care and clumsiness would drag the pillow
+from under his head, shake it up violently and turn it, or hold a
+glass to his burning lips and spill half its contents down his
+night-shirt, but he learnt to be grateful even for such rough
+attentions, for there is nothing like weakness and suffering for
+teaching patience.  The loneliness was so terrible, too, that he
+would detain anyone who came to him as long as possible.  Old Rouge,
+with his unsteady gait and half incoherent talk, was better than no
+one, and even the little slipshod servant, with her rough head and
+dirty hands, was worth the exertion of talking, just for the sake of
+having a human creature within reach.
+
+"I allays liked you, sir," she said to him once.  "You ain't allays
+a-calling for your boots, like Mr. Frewin, or in drink, like the
+captain, and you never shouted out 'slavey' down the stairs for me,
+as though I was one of the poor blacks.  I allays liked you, Mr.
+Donovan."
+
+Donovan was amused, and in spite of his burning head and aching
+misery, threw out some question or response to detain her.
+
+"And I've done things for you as I've not done for no other lodger,"
+the girl continued.  "I've blacked your boots a sight better than any
+of the others, and though you did want such a terrible lot of bath
+water hevery day, I allays brought it up reg'lar.  If the lodgers
+h'is civil and kind-spoken, I do my best for 'em, but most of
+rem--why, they treat us poor girls like dogs, that they do.  And
+talkin' of dogs, I've done that un of yours many a good turn; times
+and times I've stolen bits o' meat and things for 'im."
+
+"Oh! but you shouldn't do that," said Donovan, quickly.  "Don't do it
+again.  It's wrong to steal, you know."
+
+But then he paused.  What was he saying?  How trivial were this poor
+ignorant girl's dishonesties compared with his own!
+
+Bitter were the regrets which thronged up in his mind as he lay
+wearily on his bed of pain.  He could not escape from his secret foes
+now; he could not banish thought by violent bodily exercise, or by
+wild excitement.  All his anguish of last year returned with terrible
+force, all the agony of self-loathing weighed upon him with cruel
+ceaselessness.  This, combined with the want of good nursing,
+aggravated his illness.  The doctor began to look grave, and one day
+Anne, the little servant, fairly burst into tears when she came up to
+tidy his room.
+
+"What's the matter?" asked Donovan, feebly.  "Have they been scolding
+you?"
+
+"No, no, it ain't that," said the girl, holding her apron to her
+eyes.  "But missus she says you'll die, sure as a gun; she did say
+so, I heared her, sir, not a minute since."
+
+Donovan did not speak for some time.  He lay thinking silently over
+the girl's words, "You'll die, sure as a gun."  He smiled a little,
+thinking that few had been told of their danger in a more open and
+undisguised way, but it ought to have been good news to him, and for
+a time he tried to think he was glad.  And yet?  He did not go
+straight to the root of the matter, and own that the "peace of
+nothingness" looked less attractive when viewed nearly; he said
+instead what a wretched life he had had, how little enjoyment, how
+much suffering, and now he was to die forlorn and unattended in a
+miserable London lodging.  Then came a great longing to see his
+mother.
+
+He called the girl to him, made her find writing materials, and,
+raising himself on his elbow, wrote with great difficulty a few
+pencil words.
+
+"I am very ill; my death will perhaps ease more consciences than one.
+Will you not come to me, mother?--it may be our last meeting."
+
+He was growing faint; the effort had been very great, but, still
+exerting all his strength of will, he controlled his weakness
+sufficiently to scrawl the address on the envelope.  Then he sank
+back again utterly exhausted.
+
+"You'll have to see the clergyman if you get worse," said Anne,
+sympathetically.  "There's one as come next door to an old chap as
+was dying last summer, and they say he do make the folks quake and
+sweat."
+
+Donovan was past smiling.
+
+After that he did not remember much; there was only an ever-present
+consciousness of endless pain, the raging, burning, aching misery of
+fever.  Till then the hours had dragged on with the terrible slowness
+of which only those who have been alone in illness can form any idea;
+but now he lost all thought of time, and was only dimly aware of the
+visitors who came to him.  Now and then he had a sort of vision, of
+Rouge's round red face anxiously peering down at him.  Once he
+fancied himself chained down in one of Doery's red-hot furnaces,
+where Dives-like he had cried for water, and then he had looked up,
+and Noir was beside him with the cooling draught he had thirsted for,
+and he had fallen back again refreshed, wondering greatly that his
+request had been granted.  The Christian's God was, after all then,
+merciful!  Wild thoughts they were which haunted him in his delirium;
+and yet Noir Frewin, as he watched beside him, was struck by the tone
+of his fevered utterances.  He was prepared for ravings against
+injustice, but, instead, Donovan's most vehement words were of
+self-reproach.  At times he would take a theological turn, and would
+argue for and against every conceivable doctrine, and then again he
+would fancy himself back among his late companions, gambling or
+indulging in wild revelry; but throughout there was never one impure
+word, and Noir marvelled at it.  A strange wild life was revealed,
+with an under-current of anxious questioning, one predominant vice,
+but behind it much that was noble, a familiarity with every kind of
+evil, but, in spite of it, a strange retaining of purity.
+
+One name, too, was constantly on his lips--a name which Noir had
+never heard him mention before.  He wondered much to whom it
+referred, what gave rise to the agonised longing for this one
+presence.
+
+Perhaps in this was Donovan's keenest suffering.  He dreamt
+continually of Dot; she was beside him, no longer ill and helpless,
+but happy, and strong, and bright.  As yet, remembrance was such
+terrible pain to him--it was so entirely his object not to remember
+the past--that the vision which kept recurring to him was almost more
+than he could bear, and the extraordinary reality of it deluded him
+at times.  It must be real, she had come back to him, and he would
+stretch out his arms to keep her; then, coming to himself, would find
+that it was only a dream.  One night the dream was more vivid than
+ever.  He fancied himself on a wide-open down; he was ill and faint,
+and the sun was beating down upon him pitilessly.  He closed his eyes
+to shut out the intolerable brightness, and then suddenly became
+aware of a shade between him and the sun, and, looking up, saw Dot
+standing beside him.  Such a rapturous meeting it was!  Her face
+seemed changed, and yet the same, and her bright eyes shone down upon
+him with just the old loving light.  He could feel her fingers
+ruffling up his hair as she used to do in the old times, and her
+voice, merry and child-like as ever, seemed to give him new strength.
+"It is my turn to nurse you now," she said.  And then, just as he was
+feeling the full bliss of her presence, a thick white mist rose from
+the ground and rolled between them.  He stretched out his hands,
+tried to struggle up, helplessly beating against the cold white wall.
+Dot was there just beyond.  He must reach her! this sudden meeting,
+only to part, was too cruel!  But the more he dashed himself against
+the impenetrable barrier, the harder it became, and maddened by
+hearing her voice in the distance, he grew more and more reckless,
+till at last his own cry of despair woke him.  Trembling, exhausted,
+panting for breath, he stared round the little room.  The scene was
+changed.  Fight as he would, there was no chance of his seeing Dot
+again; even the white barrier was gone.  The gas was turned low, and
+close beside it sat Noir, nodding over his newspaper.  The blank of
+realisation was so terrible that he felt he _must_ call on some one
+or something outside himself, and his companion was roused by a call
+so wild, so despairing, that he started up at once and hurried to the
+bedside.
+
+"What is it?" he questioned, anxiously; but Donovan could not answer;
+his breath would only come in gasps, his whole frame was convulsed.
+By the strange freemasonry of suffering, Noir Frewin understood him;
+he did not say a word, but just took the two burning hands in his,
+and Donovan, with a sense of relief, tightened his hold till the grip
+was absolutely painful.  Anything human would have served to support
+him; he clung to the hands of this hardened cheat with helpless
+gratitude.
+
+And Noir, as he looked down at the struggling agony, understood it
+all far better than many would have done.  A well-regulated mind
+accustomed to view things quietly, or a Christian who has never known
+what it is to be anything else, would probably not have known so
+exactly what to do; they would have offered words to a state utterly
+beyond the comprehension of speech, or would have advised
+self-control when the very fact of the convulsed frame and sealed
+lips showed that no control was needed.  But Noir had been through
+just the same fierce conflicts in his cell at Dartmoor; he knew that
+no words would avail, no thought comfort, that what nature cried out
+for was a presence stronger than self--something or some one who
+would not preach, but would understand.  He gave, poor fellow, all he
+could give--himself; and after a time Donovan's convulsed limbs
+relaxed, the hands loosened their hold, the face settled into its
+usual stern sad expression.
+
+"Thanks, old fellow," he said, faintly.
+
+Noir, with an odd choking in his throat, turned away and made ready
+some gruel which had been heating.  By the time he had brought it,
+Donovan had recovered a little more, and there was a sort of smile on
+his worn face.
+
+"I can't get over you turning nurse, Noir," he said, in rather
+trembling tones; "you've been--awfully good to me."
+
+"Only make haste and get well," said Noir, roughly, but kindly.
+
+"Am I not doing my best by swallowing this abomination?" said
+Donovan, trying to form his lips into a smile, but failing piteously.
+
+"You'd better be quiet, or you won't get off to sleep again," said
+Noir, peremptorily, the fact being that he could not stand the effort
+at cheerfulness which his patient was making, for there are few
+things more painful than to see a thin veil of assumed cheerfulness
+drawn over great suffering.  But the effort was a brave one, he could
+not help knowing it, and as he returned to his place beneath the gas,
+instead of taking up his newspaper, he mused over the hidden trouble
+which had been half revealed to him, from time to time casting a
+glance towards the bed.  Nothing, however, was to be seen there
+except a mass of rough brown hair; Donovan had turned his face away
+from the light, and Noir only knew that he was not asleep by the
+absolute stillness of his form, and by the long-drawn but
+half-restrained sighs which reached him every few minutes.
+
+The next morning the old captain, with his feather-brush, was as
+usual dusting his shells and corals, when he was interrupted by the
+little maid-of-all-work.
+
+"If you please, sir," she said, with unusual animation, "'ere's a
+lady as will 'ave it that Mr. Farrant lives 'ere, and I can't get 'er
+away no'ow."
+
+Rouge, removing his smoking-cap, hurried forward, and found himself
+face to face with an elderly woman with a rather thin severe face.
+
+"There must be some mistake, madam," he said, in his pleasant voice.
+"No one of the name of Farrant lives here.  We are the only lodgers,
+except one poor fellow named Donovan, who is very ill."
+
+"There!" exclaimed Mrs. Doery, with relief.  "Now why didn't you tell
+me that before, though I was certain he must be here somewhere, he'd
+never make a fault in the address.  Take me to him at once, please,
+sir--I've come to nurse him."
+
+"Bless me!" exclaimed the old captain, "now that's really a wonderful
+piece of luck, for he's in need of better nursing than we can give
+him.  You are a relation of his?"
+
+"Relation, indeed!" said Mrs. Doery, with virtuous
+indignation--"relation, sir!  A pretty pass he must have come to if
+you take me for a relation.  I am the housekeeper."
+
+"Your pardon, madam," said the captain.  "May I not offer you some
+refreshment after your journey," and he put his hand on the
+inevitable black bottle which was always within convenient reach.
+
+"I'll thank you, sir, to take me to Mr. Donovan," said Doery,
+severely, "and not go offering a respectable party spirits at this
+time of day."
+
+Rouge, feeling snubbed, hastily led the way to the sick-room,
+muttering under his breath, "A very dragon!"  But nevertheless he
+rather enjoyed the new arrival, and there was a ring of amusement in
+his hearty voice as he went up to the disordered
+uncomfortable-looking bed where Donovan lay.
+
+"Well, milord, I've brought you a new nurse."
+
+If anyone had told Donovan in his childhood that he would ever
+welcome the sight of his grim tyrant he would not have believed it,
+but nevertheless there was an unspeakable comfort and relief in the
+advent of poor old Doery.
+
+"Oh!  Mr. Donovan, what have they been a-doin' to you?" she
+exclaimed, horror-struck at his looks, for he was evidently quite
+clear-headed, but utterly weak and helpless, and with a face so thin
+and worn that she hardly recognized it.
+
+"Did my mother send you?" he asked, as soon as the captain had left
+the room.
+
+"No, sir, master sent me, with orders to say nothing about it to
+mistress.  It was the only way he'd let me come, Mr. Donovan, so you
+mustn't mind.  Mistress is to be told I'm gone to nurse my sister.  I
+promised I wouldn't say a word to her, otherwise master wouldn't have
+told me where you was."
+
+"He opened the letter, then?" asked Donovan.
+
+"He had your letter, sir.  I made no doubt it was sent to him, for
+the mistress hadn't seen it."
+
+Evidently, then, it would be quite useless to attempt writing to his
+mother; after the lapse of all these months of silence, Ellis still
+kept guard over her correspondence.  A sort of dim idea which had
+crossed his mind of appealing to his mother for money to start him in
+some honest calling, died away.  He must continue to support himself
+by his precarious winnings, only--and here all his strength of will
+asserted itself--he would never be a party to Noir's deceptions
+again.  It was not a very cheering prospect, he saw that it must
+involve an entire break with the Frewins, and they had been so good
+to him that he shrank very much from the thought.  After all, as he
+often said to himself, his death would solve many difficulties.
+
+But he was not to die--that was evident.  Thanks to Mrs. Doery's good
+nursing he began to recover steadily, and, as his strength returned,
+a certain enjoyment of life returned to him too, at times.  He began
+to wish very much to be out and about again, even though so many
+difficulties would have then to be faced.
+
+His intercourse with old Mrs. Doery was a good deal hampered by
+various causes.  He never mentioned Dot's name, he never mentioned
+his present way of life, so that their range of conversation was
+rather limited.  He asked a thousand questions, indeed, about his
+mother, and the whole Manor household, but except with regard to this
+subject he was very silent and utterly uncommunicative.  From day to
+day he would lie with a sort of rigid patience, abstractedly watching
+Doery as she sat mending his linen, or with his eyes fixed on the
+hateful little oil-painting of the "Shipwreck," which stared down at
+him from the dingy green wall paper with black spots.  It used to
+remind him a good deal of his own life, that forlorn-looking vessel
+with broken mast and battered hull.
+
+One night when he was almost recovered he was roused from his first
+sleep by noisy merriment in the adjoining room, and found poor Mrs.
+Doery fairly frightened out of her wits.
+
+"Such a calling and a shouting and a quarrelling as she'd never heard
+in her life!"
+
+"They are only enjoying themselves," said Donovan, with weary sarcasm.
+
+"Well, Mr. Donovan, it's more like animals than like men, that I will
+say," replied Doery, with her customary shrewd severity.
+
+"May be," said Donovan, turning from side to side with the restless
+discomfort of one disturbed.
+
+"And nobody can't deny that it's a dreadful place that you're in,"
+continued the housekeeper.  "Such a shocking goings on in them courts
+out at the back, and then all this noise in the very next room when
+honest folks ought to be a-bed and asleep.  It's a dreadful place, I
+call it."
+
+"London isn't made up of Connaught Squares," said Donovan, bitterly;
+and then he drew the bed-clothes over his face, and would not say
+another word.
+
+The next day was Sunday, and by dint of many assurances of his
+perfect recovery, Mrs. Doery was at length persuaded to leave him for
+a little while and go to church, Donovan having over-ruled her dread
+of losing her way by assuring her that the old captain went every now
+and then to salve his conscience, and would be delighted to escort
+her.  When she had left him he lay for a few minutes listening to the
+church bells, but his thoughts were very troublesome that day, and
+just to stifle them he reached out his hand and took Mrs. Doery's
+Bible from the table.  It was nearly four years since he had opened
+one, and then it had only been under compulsion at school, and though
+he had read many books written against it, he had never had the
+slightest inclination to study the book itself.  Beyond a few
+chapters which he had been made to learn in his childhood as a
+punishment, he remembered little but the sort of general outline of
+the history, and a few of the more striking parables.
+
+He took it up now rather curiously, opened at St. Matthew's Gospel,
+and, skipping the Table of Genealogy, began to read in a careless,
+cursory way.  By-and-by, however, in spite of himself, he grew
+interested.  From the few isolated chapters which he had heard
+occasionally in church and during his school life, he had never
+gained any idea of the character of Christ.  Now reading straight on,
+with a great craving after some fresh interest, he was naturally very
+much struck.  A life of poverty, and suffering, and self-denial, a
+career of apparent failure, surroundings low and incapable of
+understanding, a trial of glaring injustice, and an unmerited death
+of the deepest pain!  It was a story which could not fail to touch
+him; a character which filled him with great admiration.  There were
+two things which especially appealed to his sympathy--the injustice
+suffered, and the strong endurance manifested.  He put down the book
+reluctantly when he was too tired to hold it any longer, not even
+thinking of any possible change in his fixed beliefs, but simply very
+much struck by a noble life, which, it seemed probable, had been
+lived thousands of years ago--with something of the same sort of
+interest which he had felt for one or two of the old Romans, and for
+a few of Shakspere's characters.  Modern Christianity--or the
+so-called Christianity which had been brought under his
+notice--offered no attractions to him.  The whole system seemed to
+him hollow and false, a great profession and a niggardly performance,
+a mixture of selfishness, hypocrisy, and superstition.  But the life
+of Christ was grand!  Such an unexampled career of noble
+self-devotion filled him with wonder and reverence.  However much the
+misguided followers had fallen off, there could be no doubt that the
+mind of Christ had been--he naturally used the past tense--one of
+dazzling purity and beauty.
+
+In the enforced stillness of convalescence the story haunted him
+strangely, and undoubtedly he was influenced by it--his admiration of
+a noble mind ennobled him.  At present that was all; but it was much.
+
+As soon as he was about again, he took an early opportunity of
+telling Noir the decision which he had made before his illness.
+Noir, who had already shrewdly surmised that he should lose his young
+accomplice, made no attempt to turn him from his purpose.
+
+"Turned good, I suppose, as most fellows do when they have been
+within an ace of dying," he remarked, sneeringly.
+
+"Glad to hear you think so," said Donovan, with coolness.  "I own
+you've a proverb to fall back on.  'The Devil he fell sick; the Devil
+a monk would be.'  However, I've no monkish tendencies, only I don't
+mean to be your decoy any longer."
+
+"Well," said Noir, good-humouredly, "I myself shan't be sorry to
+leave the old trade for a bit.  We've been talking of going abroad.
+Come with us.  It would set you up in no time.  What do you say to
+Monaco?  A try at the red and black?"
+
+"Anything for a change," said Donovan; but there was relief in his
+tone, for the break with the Frewins, which he had dreaded a good
+deal, would be no longer necessary.  "Honest" gambling of course he
+had not renounced, in fact by means of it he must live, and this
+proposal to go to Monaco exactly fell in with his present frame of
+mind.  His spirits began to rise.
+
+The old captain coming into the room was surprised at the change in
+his look and voice.
+
+"Well, captain!" he exclaimed.  "Has Noir told you?  It's all
+settled, we leave this hole next week, and go to try our luck at
+Monte Carlo."
+
+"So I hear," said Rouge.  "It'll be first rate for you, for myself I
+like Old England best.  None of your froggy Frenchmen for me.  I'm
+going out, milord, d'you want anything? papers? books?"
+
+A change came over Donovan's face.
+
+"Oh! yes, that reminds me.  Here!"--he threw down eighteen pence on
+the table, scrawled something on a piece of paper and handed it to
+Rouge,--"Just get me that if you're passing a book-shop."
+
+The captain looked at the paper, lifted his eyebrows, but did not
+venture any comment.  On it was written, "Renan's 'Life of Jesus.'"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+MONACO.
+
+  I heard a thousand blended notes
+  While in a grove I sat reclined,
+  In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
+  Bring sad ones to the mind.
+
+  To her fair works did Nature link
+  The human soul that through me ran;
+  And much it grieved my heart to think
+  What man had made of man.
+                                  WORDSWORTH.
+
+  Spots of blackness in creation to make its colours felt.
+                                          _Modern Painters._
+
+
+"Now this is first rate," said the old captain, as he stepped off the
+pier at Folkestone on to the steamer.  "Ah, Donovan, my lad, if we
+were going for a good cruise it would do you all the good in the
+world, better than a dozen Monacos, eh?  Not so profitable, you say?
+Well, perhaps not, but I wish I was captain of the _Metora_ again, a
+prime little steamer she was, you wouldn't think much of such a tub
+as this if you'd been aboard the _Metora_."
+
+Donovan, with the delicious sense of returning strength, rolled
+himself up in his railway-rug, and with his elbow resting on the deck
+railing looked out seawards.  The captain was in great spirits, the
+breath of sea air seemed to awake his better self, and he was besides
+very happy in having his favourite companion with him again.
+
+"Now that you're about again, milord, I shall be a different man," he
+said, cheerily; "I've been dreadfully down in the mouth since you
+were ill, I missed you frightfully; and there was Noir as grim as
+death, and even Sweepstakes as cross as could be.  You wouldn't
+believe what a bother we had with that bird, milord; just after you
+were laid up he caught, somehow or other, one of his old couplets
+which always enrages Noir.  I suppose I'd said it, and he'd
+remembered it, for day and night that creature said nothing but,
+
+  "He who prigs what isn't his'n;"
+
+you know the old rhyme!"
+
+"There's something uncanny about Sweepstakes," said Donovan,
+laughing, "he has a good deal of the wizard about him.  It's to be
+hoped he'll be quiet on the journey, or Noir will threaten to wring
+his neck."
+
+"Yes, he doesn't approve of our menagerie," said Rouge, adjusting the
+covering of the parrot's cage, "though I will say that the dog is a
+marvel of obedience."
+
+"I back the winner!" screamed Sweepstakes, as the bell sounded and
+the steamer began to move.  "Now be gentle, be gentle."
+
+"Hullo! the creature is beginning to talk," said Donovan, "you'll
+have a crowd round him."
+
+And true enough before long they found themselves the centre of an
+amused group, to whom the parrot held forth in his choicest language.
+But presently Noir came up, and directly the bird caught sight of him
+he put his head on one side and began with his most sanctimonious
+manner to say,
+
+  "He who prigs what isn't his'n
+  When he's cotched shall go to pris'n."
+
+
+"You must keep the parrot quiet," said Noir, crossly, "he's
+disturbing the whole deck."
+
+The passengers at once disclaimed this, and expressed their
+admiration of the bird's cleverness, but Noir was not to be baffled,
+he drew the black covering over the cage, and Donovan saw by the
+frown on his brow that he was vexed by this particular sentence of
+the malicious parrot.  He sat down on the other side of the cage,
+ready to check any further talking, but he could not prevent the mild
+refrain which Sweepstakes invariably resorted to when he was snubbed,
+and all through the crossing he gently murmured to himself, "When
+he's cotched--cotch--cotch--cotched!"
+
+It was a grey day at the end of February, and the English shore was
+enveloped in mist, but there was, nevertheless, a strong breeze
+blowing.  "East-nor'-east," Rouge declared it to be, "and a heavy
+swell which would prove fatal to the land-lubbers."
+
+Donovan, though making no pretensions as to his sailing powers,
+enjoyed the change and novelty most thoroughly, and, indeed, after
+seven or eight weeks of the unwholesome atmosphere of Drury Lane, the
+fresh sea-breeze was almost intoxicating.  In spite of adverse
+circumstances and a naturally melancholy temperament, the young life
+within him sprang up to greet the novelty of all around, his eyes
+brightened, his taciturnity disappeared, and he and the old captain
+sat talking together as happily as two school-boys.
+
+Then came the landing at the sunny little French town, with the
+chatter of bad English and broken French, the hurry and bustle of the
+passengers, Rouge's anxiety over his precious parrot, and Donovan's
+difficulty in steering him safely past the door of the _buffet_, with
+all its temptations.  After a few minutes' delay, they were off once
+more, fairly started now on their route to the south, and Donovan, in
+the first exuberance of his new strength, really thought he had found
+something to satisfy his restlessness, and to fill the emptiness of
+his life.  Fair France, with her sunny plains and genial atmosphere,
+looked very tempting, Monaco offered plenty of excitement--why should
+he not be happy now?
+
+They were to travel straight on to Nice, a rash project for a
+semi-invalid, but naturally the Frewins consulted their own wishes,
+and Donovan, though tired enough when they reached Paris, preferred
+going on with them to staying for the night alone, for he was still
+not at all fit to be left quite to himself; old Mrs. Doery had only
+resigned her post a few days before, and he shrank from entire
+self-dependence.  So the night journey was undertaken, and he sat
+back in his corner watching his sleeping companions, sometimes dozing
+himself for a few minutes, but oftener wide awake, and fully
+conscious of his weary misery, bearing it with a sort of philosophic
+endurance, and thinking a good deal of the life he had left behind
+him, of his parting conversation with Mrs. Doery, of the interview
+which by this time she had probably had with his step-father, of the
+luck which he had had at the club a few nights ago, which had enabled
+him to pay his doctor's bill and start comfortably on his foreign
+trip, and of sundry passages which had impressed him in Renan's book.
+An odd medley, truly, in an utterly unregulated but well-disposed
+mind--well-disposed, that is, as far as it was capable of seeing the
+light.
+
+At last the long night wore away; as they passed Lyons, with its
+gleaming lights and its broad river; the first faint grey of dawn was
+quivering on the horizon, and gradually the pale morning twilight
+began to steal into the railway carriage, falling with a most ghastly
+effect on the faces of the sleepers--Noir, with his hard, grim
+features, Rouge serenely comfortable and animal-like, a priest with a
+heavy face, which nevertheless looked quite spiritual compared with
+the old captain's, and four average Frenchmen in every variety of
+night _déshabillé_ and posture.  Donovan glanced at them curiously,
+then, with that shivering misery which invariably accompanies the
+dawn, he once more looked out over the grey landscape.  His cough
+began to be troublesome, nor did his discomfort end till the sun had
+risen; in the early morning, when they stopped for a minute at
+Orange, he dashed out of the carriage, held face and hands under the
+pump on the platform, and, somewhat refreshed by the cold water, got
+in again, to endure as well as he could the long day of travelling.
+
+A night's rest at Nice set him up again, however, and he was as eager
+as either of his companions to go on to Monaco the next morning.  The
+day, too, was so gloriously bright, and the air so exhilarating, that
+he fancied himself stronger than he really was.  Nor was the
+exquisite scenery altogether wasted on him; it is to be doubted
+whether it has any effect on the _habitués_ of Monte Carlo who daily
+pass through it, but Donovan was a stranger, not yet seized with the
+gaming mania, which seems to destroy all the nobler faculties.
+
+Leaving Nice behind them, with its green hills and clustering white
+villas, they sped on through a very paradise of beauty.  To the right
+lay the Mediterranean, with its wonderfully deep blue, broken here
+and there by the tiniest foam-wreathed breakers, gleaming whiter than
+snow; to the left rose the Maritime Alps with their softly mantling
+olive groves, while in the distance every now and then a snowy peak
+stood out clearly against the blue sky.
+
+The three Englishmen certainly took their own fashion of enjoying it
+all, there was no studying of Murray or Baedeker, not a single
+exclamation of wonder or admiration.  Rouge looked sleepily at the
+sea, and thought of his voyages in the _Metora_; Noir, who for the
+last day or two had been engrossed with his "system," and had done
+nothing but cover sheets of paper with dots, barely looked up from
+his employment; Donovan looked at all the beauty silently, with no
+lack of admiration, but with a certain sadness, his one definite
+thought being how much Dot would have enjoyed it.  In a very short
+time they reached their destination; old Monaco on its rocky
+promontory, new Monaco, with its gay white houses and red-tiled
+roofs, Monte Carlo, with its gorgeous casino--all lay as it were in a
+nutshell.  Strange little Principality! one of the most ancient in
+Europe, originally a sort of garden of Eden, but now a perfect
+hot-bed of vice!  Noir, who knew the place well, had his own reasons
+for avoiding the fashionable Condamine.  He took his companions to an
+out-of-the-way hotel in old Monaco, where at the expense of a stiff
+climb they would be free from some of the objections of the more
+frequented quarter.
+
+Before long they had set off for an afternoon at Monte Carlo, all
+three in good spirits; Noir with implicit faith in the system of play
+which he was about to try; Donovan exulting in the sense of novelty
+and excitement; Rouge ready to be amused by anything, and eager to
+try his luck so far as the restricted allowance which his son made
+him would permit.  Driving up the long hill they were set down at
+last at the entrance to the casino.  This, then, was the goal they
+had been making for, this the place where fortunes were won--or lost,
+this the refuge for all who craved excitement, for all who would fain
+banish thought.  It felt half dream-like to Donovan, a palace of the
+genii, transported straight from one of the "Arabian Nights."
+Passing into the beautiful vestibule, with its great marble columns,
+gorgeously decorated roof and walls, and handsome mosaic floor, the
+impression grew upon him, but was speedily dashed into the world of
+cold realities by a word from Noir.
+
+"Come, we won't waste time.  You'll have to give your name at the
+_bureau_, and get your ticket.  Of course, by-the-way, you're
+twenty-one?  Else they won't admit you."
+
+"All right," replied Donovan.  "I was of age last spring," and
+therewith came memories which brought a look of hard resentment to
+his face.
+
+Having given the name which he used, he picked up his pink
+admission-card, and followed his companions through the double
+swing-doors into the _Salle de Jeu_.  After all, even in this
+enchanted palace, thoughts would intrude themselves.  Would this
+journey to Monte Carlo prove less satisfactory than he had expected?
+
+It is a strange sight that _Salle de Jeu_.  Its richly decorated
+walls, its heavy square pillars, coloured and begilt in the Alhambra
+style, form the setting to a dark picture.  How many wretched faces,
+pale with despair, are reflected each day in those mirrors! how many
+victims pace restlessly up and down the slippery parquet floor, never
+satisfied with gain, half crazed with loss; and yet with what
+persistency all throng round the tables, a curiously mixed multitude,
+when one pauses to study them--people of all ranks and ages:
+florid-looking Germans, sharp-faced Frenchmen, dark, vindictive
+Italians, handsome Russians, hard-featured Englishmen; women, too, in
+almost as large a proportion as men, and staking with quite as much
+_sang-froid_.  Round every table sit the favoured few who have
+secured chairs, behind these stand the eager crowd absorbed in
+watching the whirling roulette-wheel, or the dealing of the cards,
+and on the outskirts of all linger the mere lookers-on; Americans
+"doing Europe," and including Monte Carlo in their list of things to
+be seen, pale-faced invalids from Mentone, English tourists of every
+description, who come to see this sight which happily is not to be
+met with in many places.  A questionable proceeding though in some
+ways is this looking on, and yet to those who really study the
+gamblers the sight can hardly fail to teach a very grave lesson.
+Only, to anyone who expects pleasure in the mere sight, the
+disappointment would be great.  Monte Carlo merely heard of is one
+thing, Monte Carlo seen is a revelation of sin, of infatuation, of
+all that is most sad and pitiable; a black spot in creation which
+does indeed make the on-looker thankful for all existing purity and
+goodness, but which, at the same time, cannot fail to sober and
+sadden.
+
+The three companions quickly separated, Rouge remaining at one of the
+roulette-tables in the outer room, Noir steadily settling himself at
+the first trente-et-quarante table, and in course of time securing a
+chair, Donovan wandering restlessly from place to place.  He had no
+faith in any system, though Noir had tried hard to convert him to
+his, but, although he was usually as successful by luck in games of
+chance as he was by cleverness in games of skill, his customary good
+fortune seemed now to have deserted him.  Before long he had not only
+lost a great deal more than was at all convenient, but had conceived
+a strong dislike to the whole thing.  Dispirited by his unbroken
+losses, he felt at once that there was nothing here to satisfy him,
+nothing to call out his faculties; for he was more than a mere
+gambler, he was a first-rate card-player, and to him half the
+pleasure of gaming lay in the sense of power, the exultation in his
+own skill.  In spite of all the talk about "systems," he saw that the
+ruling goddess at Monte Carlo was blind chance; she had not dealt
+kindly with him, he would waste no more time or money in her gorgeous
+shrine.
+
+But now that all excitement was over he began to feel unbearably
+weary, he threw himself down on the crimson velvet ottoman in the
+middle of the gaming-room, idly scanning the passers-by, men old and
+young; croupiers just released from their wearisome duties, and
+leaving the room with tired faces from which all other expression had
+died; the servants of the casino in their blue and red livery; the
+ever-shifting throng of gamblers; the extravagantly-dressed women.
+Realising at length that his peace was in danger of molestation, he
+rose to go, and found his way across the vestibule to the beautiful
+music-hall, where the finest orchestra in Europe is made a bait to
+draw great crowds to the casino.  Wearily he leant back in one of the
+luxurious arm-chairs and listened to the closing strains of a grand
+symphony.  The concert was nearly over; he was so weary that he
+almost fell asleep, but in, the last piece suddenly came to himself
+with a thrill of pain.  With exquisite expression, with unrivalled
+delicacy of light and shade, the orchestra was playing a selection
+from "Don Giovanni," and now through the great hall there rang Dot's
+favourite air "Vedrai Carino."
+
+It did him good in spite of the pain.  When the audience dispersed,
+and he strolled out into the gardens, a child's pure gentle face
+haunted him; there among the palms, and aloes, and flowering cactus
+two visions of the past were with him, Dot's radiant beauty, and the
+quiet maidenly grace of a stranger whom he had involuntarily taken as
+his standard of what a woman should be.  From what evil these two
+guardian angels shielded him who can say?
+
+Before long he wisely went in search of the old captain, whom he
+found in low spirits, having lost every five-franc piece in his
+possession.
+
+"We've both had enough of this," said Donovan, not sorry to have the
+old man's arm to lean on.  "I'm about cleared out too, and, what's
+worse, I feel awfully seedy."
+
+"Humph!" ejaculated the captain.  "In for a second go of
+inflammation, I'll be bound."
+
+"Well, Rouge, if I am," said Donovan, slowly, "you'll just have to
+bolt and bar the door and nurse me yourself.  Do you understand?"
+
+The captain nodded assent, and little more was said as they made
+their way back to the hotel.
+
+The surmise proved perfectly true, however, and that night Donovan
+was again tossing to and fro in weary misery, haunted by whirling
+roulette wheels and stony-faced croupiers, raving about the endless
+losses and the tantalizing gains which always eluded his grasp.  The
+relapse was the natural consequence of all the fatigue he had gone
+through, and had it not been for the old captain's devoted though
+rough nursing, and for the care of an exceedingly clever French
+doctor, he would most likely have sunk under it.
+
+However, he struggled through, and woke one morning, after a long
+sleep, to realise for the first time his position.  There he was
+lying as weak as any baby, surrounded by mosquito net curtains, in an
+odd-looking foreign room; there was poor Waif lying at the foot of
+the bed, keeping anxious guard over him; there was Rouge sitting by
+the open window smoking.  Where was he?  What was this new place?
+Not Drury Lane, for the dingy green paper was changed to a gorgeous
+blue one, and the ceiling was decorated, or defaced, with bluewash
+studded with glaring white stars, in the middle of which grew by some
+strange anomaly a great clump of red and yellow roses.  Donovan,
+though not artistic, was strangely irritated by looking at the horrid
+daub.  He called the old captain to him.
+
+"So I've been ill again," he said, interrogatively.
+
+"Very," replied Rouge.  "In fact, milord, we as good as gave you up
+at one time, you wouldn't believe what an anxious time I've had of
+it, with Noir all day long up at that casino, and no one here who
+could speak a word of English."
+
+"You have been nursing me?"
+
+"Well, of course, what else could I do?" said Rouge.
+
+"Thank you, captain," said Donovan, adding resolutely, after a
+minute's pause, "I shall get well now."
+
+He was as good as his word, and from that day recovered rapidly; not
+that he cared much to get well, but he was anxious to free himself
+from the state of dependence he was now in, for dependence was
+uncongenial to his nature, and to submit to rough and ready
+attendance is never pleasant.  Before many days had passed he was up
+and dressed, just able to drag himself across the room, and to
+relieve the monotony of the long hours by such amusement as he could
+find at either of the windows.  One of these faced the Place du
+Palais.  There just opposite to him he could see the Prince's Palace,
+could count the slow minutes by the clock in the tower, speculate
+when the cannon and the great pile of cannon-balls would be used,
+study the two sentries who, in their red and blue uniforms, kept
+guard over the entrance gate, and watch the few passers-by.  From the
+other window a much wider view was obtained.  Here he could see the
+whole of the beautiful bay, and the exquisite loveliness of the place
+made him long to quit his room.
+
+And so the days dragged on, and little by little he regained his
+strength, would crawl out to the almost deserted Promenade St. Barbe,
+and sit on one of the green benches under the plane-trees, or,
+passing through the curious old archway which leads by a footpath
+from old to new Monaco, he would stretch himself out on the low stone
+wall, and rest among a sort of jungle of flowering cactus and pink
+geranium, while before him stretched a glorious panorama; the
+beautiful blue of the Mediterranean, Monaco with its gay-looking
+houses, the mountains skirting the water here clothed with olive
+groves, there craggy, bare, and brown, or glistening pearly grey in
+the sunlight.  Then just facing him, half way up the mountain side,
+the pretty little town of Roccabruna, till--the slope of the mountain
+hiding Mentone and its bay--the chain gradually lessened, and ended
+in the long low promontory of Bordighera.  Only one conspicuous
+object stood out always as a blot on the fair landscape--the casino,
+with its gilded roof and its two minarets.
+
+Donovan had wisely resolved to keep clear of modern Monaco, but he
+began rather to weary of the narrow bounds of the old town.  True he
+had, as usual, made friends among the children; his favourite
+resting-place on the wall happened to be on the way to the school,
+and troops of little brown-eyed, bare-headed girls and boys passed
+him every day, and soon learnt to crowd round the strange English
+gentleman and his wonderful dog, and to bring him presents of flowers
+or unripe nespoli.  But, as he grew stronger, he began to hate the
+feeling of imprisonment, until, happening one morning to notice a
+little boat on the sea with its white lateen sail, he conceived the
+happy idea of taking a daily cruise.  The old captain was always
+ready to accompany him, and the hours which they spent in the _Ste.
+Dévote_, as their boat was named, did each of them untold good.
+
+Meanwhile each evening Noir, returning about eleven o'clock, when the
+casino closed, would bring in one or two acquaintances who, not
+satisfied with the day's gambling, were anxious for play.  In this
+manner Donovan made an easy living.
+
+Noir tried in vain to induce him to go once more to Monte Carlo; he
+himself had been remarkably lucky, and he rarely let a day pass
+without remonstrating with Donovan on what he alternately called his
+"cowardice," his "laziness," and his "puritanical fanaticism."
+
+This last accusation was so novel that it called forth one of
+Donovan's rare laughs.
+
+"Come, this is quite a new line," he said, when Noir's tirade was
+ended.  "You are the first person in the world who ever gave me such
+an honourable name.  Zealous folks have addressed me as 'infidel
+dog,' and 'blind atheist,' and 'miserable agnostic,' but 'fanatic
+Puritan' is a title to which I never dreamt of aspiring!  In the
+strength of it you must allow me to gang my ain gait!"
+
+"Please yourself," said Noir, crossly.  "Do you know Berrogain's last
+name for you--for the young man who is too virtuous to be ensnared?
+You are the young Bayard, the----"
+
+"He's welcome to call me what he pleases," interrupted Donovan,
+sharply.  "All I know or care for is that he loses hundreds of francs
+to me every evening we play.  It's not the least good talking.
+You'll never see me in that _Salle de Jeu_ again.  You with your
+system, and Berrogain with his luck, may do very well.  Fortune
+wasn't so kind to me, and I'd rather depend on my own brains."
+
+Sweepstakes ended the discussion by reiterated injunctions to "be
+gentle," and the words, coming in after a hot dispute, amused both
+speakers, and really did put a stop to the quarrel.
+
+Noir finished his lunch, and set off for his afternoon at Monte
+Carlo, leaving his father and Donovan to such amusement as they could
+find in a long sail in the _Ste. Dévote_.  Strangely enough, however,
+it so happened that the infallible "system" failed dismally on that
+very afternoon.  Noir was singularly unfortunate, lost almost all
+that he had previously won, and returned to the hotel at night
+crestfallen and dispirited.  He had burnt his fingers, and for the
+time had lost all desire to risk a fresh effort.
+
+Rather sulkily he consented the next morning to go for a walk with
+Donovan, and, _déjeuner_ over, the two set out towards the quaint
+little town of Roccabruna.  As they passed through old Monaco and
+down the sunny road, a furious rattling attracted their notice.  All
+the small boys of the place had armed themselves with impromptu
+policemen's rattles made of odd bits of wood and iron, and were
+swinging them round with frightful energy.
+
+"What is all this infernal row about?" grumbled Noir.
+
+Donovan, rather amused by the comical effect of the energetic
+_gamins_ and their clumsy rattles, accosted a brown-eyed boy, and
+asked him the meaning of it all.
+
+"It is the Holy Thursday, monsieur," was the answer.  "We crush the
+bones of the wicked Judas, the betrayer.  This evening, in the
+church, it will be very beautiful.  The priests will wash our feet,
+the lights will be extinguished, and all the people will crush the
+bones of Judas.  A great noise it will be, monsieur.  It will
+resemble the thunder!"
+
+Donovan rejoined Noir with a bitter smile on his face.  This then was
+Christianity!  They walked on in perfect silence.
+
+The day was gloriously fine and bright, the April air soft and balmy,
+the atmosphere in that state of almost intoxicating clearness only to
+be met with in the South.  Certainly the two men were a strange
+contrast to their surroundings; the elder grim, clouded,
+dissatisfied, the younger worn with suffering, weary with the
+weariness of a life-long unrest, and bearing on his handsome features
+that peculiar expression of constant inward struggle which often
+gives pathos to the hardest face.
+
+Around them were the thick olive groves, above the clear deep blue of
+the cloudless sky.  It was a paradise of peace and loveliness that
+these two were treading together.  How far it influenced them it
+would be hard to say, but probably both owed more to it than they
+knew.  Roccabruna, with its cavernous houses and quaint archways, did
+not greatly interest them.  They had come for exercise rather than
+for lionising and, contented with a very brief survey of the little
+antique place, they struck off to the left, along a somewhat rough
+and rugged mule-path, and walked on silently in the direction of
+Mentone, each bend bringing them to fresh loveliness, to glimpses of
+new rocky heights, to little silvery impetuous waterfalls, to
+different views of the exquisite coast and of the Mediterranean,
+which at its very bluest spread out before them in calm beauty.  At
+last Donovan spoke.
+
+"Have you had enough of Monaco yet?  Shall we go?"
+
+"Certainly, I'll go to-morrow, if you'll come back on the old footing
+to London," said Noir, with a quick glance at his companion.
+
+"To that you've had your answer already," he replied, coldly.  "I
+shall never go back to the old life.  I told you so."
+
+"Saint!" said Noir, with his most disagreeable sneer.
+
+"Saint or devil, I'm not going to do it," said Donovan, his voice
+rising.  "Call me what names you like, but understand once for all
+that when I say a thing I mean it."
+
+Noir knew that this was true enough, knew, as he looked at the firm
+resolute face, that he might more easily move the rocks at Monaco
+than turn this fellow from his purpose.
+
+"A month at Paris might not be amiss," he suggested, after a pause.
+"Berrogain is going back next week; he's made his fortune now--broke
+the bank yesterday."
+
+"I am ready to go, then," said Donovan.  "The sooner we're out of
+this place the better."
+
+"Paris would not be bad," mused Noir, half to himself; "we shall come
+in for the meeting at Chantilly; perhaps induce Darky Legge to come
+over.  Yes, that'll do; are you agreed?"
+
+"Agreed?  Oh, yes," replied Donovan, shortly; and then, as they
+passed a little wayside chapel in the midst of an olive grove, he
+said, with an abrupt change of tone, "Let us rest here; one doesn't
+often get shade like this."
+
+And throwing himself down under one of the gnarled old trees, with
+arms crossed pillow-wise beneath his head, he lay watching the
+glimpses of blue through the graceful network of branches above him,
+and the still bluer depth of sea down below, against which the dark
+outlines of an iron cross stood out distinctly.  Noir filled his
+pipe, and sat with his back against the trunk of the olive, not
+caring to attempt any further conversation.
+
+"Life," thought the elder man, depressed by his losses, "was
+particularly worthless and uninteresting just at that time."  "Life,"
+thought the younger, perplexed by his increasing difficulties,
+troubled within and without, "life was more than a man could well
+stand; it was weary, and profitless, and utterly hateful."
+
+Thus they mused, each following his natural bent, each calling that
+"life" which was in reality death, each wondering that they found it
+so barren and worthless.  Neither could understand that the very
+sense of insatiety which came to them in their selfish lives was the
+token of those higher affinities within them, those faint needings
+and longings for the Omnipresent Fire Divine, which He can--nay,
+surely _does_, everywhere kindle.
+
+By-and-by, the one with a shrug, the other with a sigh, the reveries
+were ended, the burden of the so-called "life" was taken up once
+more; the two walked on slowly, past the beautiful villas and the
+fragrant orange groves, to Mentone.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+LOSING SELF TO FIND.
+
+  Man-like is it to fall into sin,
+  Fiend-like is it to dwell therein,
+  Christ-like is it for sin to grieve,
+  God-like is it all sin to leave.
+              _From the German_.  LONGFELLOW.
+
+
+Eleven o'clock on a May morning, the bright sunshine peeping in
+obliquely through the _persiennes_, and lighting up the conventional
+French bed-room, with its wardrobe, mirror, writing-table, and gilt
+clock, also a well-worn, brown portmanteau, and a white and tan
+fox-terrier stretched at full length on the hearth-rug.  Down below
+in the street there was the rumbling of wheels, the busy, morning
+traffic, occasionally the cheerful voices of busy Parisians as they
+passed by, occupied, no doubt, but not pressed and hurried as
+Londoners are.
+
+These were the sights and sounds which first greeted Donovan on a day
+which he was never to forget, a day every detail of which was burnt
+in upon his brain with the ineffaceable brand of suffering.  He woke
+late, rang the bell for his coffee, and then lay musing.  He was a
+rich man; the sensation was strange.  A year ago he had been cast
+adrift, friendless, almost penniless; he had started with hardly any
+possession in the world, except the brown portmanteau and the
+fox-terrier which met his gaze from the other side of the room; now
+he was rich, a well-to-do man, for not many hours ago, when the faint
+dawn was just beginning to break, he had won a fortune at baccarat.
+In spite of Ellis's wickedness, in spite of life-long injustice, he
+had done well for himself.
+
+And yet, after all, did it make so very much difference?  Was this
+great success, this unparalleled good fortune, so really worth
+having?  His heart did not feel any lighter, life did not look more
+inviting when he got up that day.  At the actual time of his triumph
+his bliss had been complete, his one passion rode rampant over
+everything.  A splendid game, a fortune at stake, a fortune which he
+by his marvellous play had won!  Everything else was forgotten, care
+for the time cast aside, weariness lost, insatiety filled, the hollow
+unsatisfactory world became a temporary paradise!
+
+But now it had passed, and the dull weight of existence pressed on
+him once more.  Was he so much better off than poor M. Berrogain
+even, the man by whose losses he had been enriched?  Was the loser
+many degrees more depressed than the winner?
+
+He was just about to leave his room, when, with a hasty knock, Noir
+Frewin entered.
+
+"Milord," he said, quickly, "you're wanted in the next room; there's
+no end of a scene going on--Berrogain's wife in floods of tears; her
+husband has made off no one knows where, and, from a few written
+words he left, seems to intend suicide."
+
+Donovan gave a dismayed start, made a gesture of horror.
+
+"What!" he gasped, in a voice which contrasted oddly with Noir's
+off-hand manner.
+
+"Simply what I say," said Noir.  "Don't look as if you'd already seen
+his ghost; of course it's a bad business, but come in and see the
+wife, and don't put her down as a widow till we've found all the
+facts."
+
+With an impatient movement, Donovan pushed past the speaker, and in a
+dazed bewildered way found himself in the room where the old captain
+was trying to say something cheering to a little dark-eyed woman,
+whose piquant face was wet with tears and pale with anxiety.
+
+"Here is M. Donovan," said Rouge, paternally; "he has a good heart,
+madame--he will help you."
+
+"Ah! monsieur," she cried, turning to him with streaming eyes,
+"listen, at least listen, to my trouble.  In the night my husband
+returns, he tells me he is ruined--he, the fortunate, has been
+ruined--all the fortune he made at Monaco lost--gone.  I ask him how,
+and he tells me it is the young Englishman, the M. Donovan, of whom
+so much was said at the club--he it is who has caused the ruin.  Oh!
+monsieur," and here the poor little woman's voice was broken with
+sobs, "you, who are so good, so prudent, you whom they called the
+young Bayard, _sans peur et sans reproche_--oh! monsieur, is it
+possible that you did it?  They said you were too good for Monaco,
+but oh! monsieur, it is worse to ruin others than to ruin yourself.
+Think, monsieur--think what it means; you have driven my husband away
+in despair--he may even now be no more.  Oh! _mon Dieu! mon Dieu!_
+Think if the Seine be flowing over him!  Monsieur, speak to me, help
+me; it is you who have brought us this evil--speak, monsieur!"
+
+Throughout the impassioned address Donovan had stood rigidly still;
+he felt sick with horror, the strength went out of his arms, for the
+time he really was paralysed by the appalling consciousness of the
+responsibility resting on him.  He had, perhaps--nay,
+probably--driven a man to suicide, ruined and widowed the poor woman
+before him.  Was he much better than a murderer?
+
+"Speak, monsieur!" reiterated Madame Berrogain through her tears.
+
+He turned at last to Rouge appealingly.
+
+"I can't speak to her; you must----"
+
+"M. Donovan is much moved," said the old captain; "he tells me to
+speak for him; be assured, madame, that he will do all in his power;
+he is good and----"
+
+"_Do!_" interrupted Donovan, with a sudden return of strength and
+vehemence--"is there anything to do?  Only tell me of any hope that
+all this is not true, that your fears are groundless----"
+
+"Alas! monsieur, but who can say?" sobbed Madame Berrogain.  "He is
+gone--gone--see his last words!" and she held out to him a sheet of
+paper, on which was written in French:
+
+
+"_My wife,--I cannot bear this intolerable misery.  I must fly from
+all most dear, and seek a refuge in darkness; life is ended for me.
+Farewell!  Thy unhappy one,_--BERROGAIN."
+
+
+To Donovan the words conveyed little hope; still he clung to the idea
+that there might possibly be time to hinder this rash act, and with
+the hope all the man within him re-asserted itself.
+
+"Madame," he said, earnestly, "all that can be done I will do.  We
+will advertise in all the papers; I will seek your husband in every
+place in Paris where we know of any chance of finding him.  I will
+find him if I die in doing it."
+
+In spite of his bad French and limited means of expression, in spite
+too of his grave stern face, Madame Berrogain understood the depth of
+the promise, and knew that the man who had ruined her husband was yet
+a man to be trusted.
+
+"And you think there is hope," she cried.  "Oh! monsieur, you think
+there is really hope?"
+
+He struggled hard to speak, and, with his habitual control, forced
+himself at last to say,
+
+"Be comforted, madame, I will do everything that is possible; hope
+for the best, and to-night we will bring you word.  You shall know
+all that has been done."
+
+"Monsieur is good," said the poor wife, wiping her eyes.  "He will
+work, and I--I will pray to our Lady."
+
+In a few minutes more she rose to leave, and, with her _bonne_ beside
+her, went back to her desolate rooms.
+
+Donovan, as soon as she had left, drew paper and ink to him, and
+sitting down began to write rapidly.  Rouge watched the forcible
+characters as they were traced with a sort of vague wonder and
+bewilderment.  A few moments before his companion had seemed utterly
+unnerved, now his iron face and the swift precision of his movements
+made him seem like a machine.
+
+"What are you doing?" asked the captain, curiously.
+
+"Advertisements," was the laconic reply, spoken in the voice which
+more than anything tells of a mind strained to the highest tension,
+half sharp, half weary.
+
+Five minutes of writing, and then Donovan rose, snatched up his hat
+and opened the door.  The captain stopped him.
+
+"Let me come with you, lad," he said, in his good-humoured voice.
+
+"Yes, come," said Donovan, with a shade of relief in his tone; and
+then the two hurried down the stairs and out into the sunny street.
+Just outside the door they found Noir sauntering up and down with his
+pipe; he stopped them to ask their errand, gave his advice as to
+putting the matter into the hands of the police, and then turned away
+with his usual cool nonchalance, under which was, nevertheless,
+hidden more sympathy than might have been expected.
+
+"Milord is the very worst person for such a thing to come to," he
+mused; "a man without a conscience wouldn't have troubled himself to
+think twice of the matter.  Now Donovan's as likely as not to go
+raving mad if this Berrogain isn't found."
+
+At present there were no signs of the anticipated "madness;" Donovan
+was perfectly quiet and clear-headed, he walked on swiftly with Rouge
+beside him, setting about his disagreeable work in the most
+business-like way.  In spite of his English pronunciation too, there
+was that about him which obliged the various officials to receive his
+orders with civility and obedience.
+
+Not to think--that was his one great effort, but the horror of the
+overhanging dread would obtrude itself,--or if by his strong will he
+banished it for a time, it was only to be conscious, through the hard
+matter-of-fact absence of feeling which he forced himself into, of
+the dull nameless weight at his heart.
+
+It was about four in the afternoon when they reached the Pont
+d'Arcole, and the old captain was beginning to feel both hungry and
+tired.  He looked at his companion then questioningly, and saw a
+little additional sternness about his face.  Groups of men were
+leaning over the parapet watching the river; Donovan too paused for a
+moment and looked down at the sparkling water; Rouge fancied he saw
+him shudder, but he did not speak, and walked on again more rapidly
+than before.
+
+"Where next?" asked the captain, anxiously.
+
+"To the Morgue," said Donovan, in a firm but very low voice.
+
+They went on in silence, and before long found themselves in the
+little crowd which was continually passing up and down the steps and
+through the doors of the small insignificant building which is
+dedicated to so painful a purpose.
+
+"I will wait here for you," said Rouge, for he rather shrank from
+going inside, and Donovan, without a word, left him and pushed his
+way in with the eager crowd.
+
+The waiting seemed long to the old captain; he began to wonder
+whether his companion had found poor Monsieur Berrogain in that dread
+room within, and anxiously scanned the faces of those who came out.
+Soldiers in shabby uniforms, women in their snowy white caps, men of
+all ranks and ages, sometimes even little children in arms.
+
+At length, in this motley but cheerful and unconcerned crowd, came
+the face which Rouge was waiting for, a curious contrast to every
+other, stern, and sad, and white to the very lips.
+
+The captain was startled.
+
+"Good heavens! milord," he cried, "you have not found him, have you?"
+
+Donovan shook his head, and clutched at his companion's arm to steady
+himself.
+
+"Why, you're ill," said the captain.  "Within an ace of fainting."
+
+"Nonsense, nothing of the kind," panted Donovan.  "Only let us get
+away from this place," and with Rouge's assistance he crossed the
+road, but there, finding his strength failing, was obliged to lean up
+against the railings, even to cling to them for support.  The
+horrible sight, the dread of what he might possibly find, had
+completely unnerved him, for one dreadful moment, too, he had fancied
+that he recognized M. Berrogain, and, in spite of the subsequent
+relief at his mistake, he could not recover from the shock.
+
+"Only don't let's have a scene," was his answer to all Rouge's
+suggestions, and at last, with the old captain's help, he managed to
+get as far as the entrance to the garden east of Notre Dame, and to
+rest on a bench under the trees.
+
+Everything there was bright and peaceful, the grey old church, with
+its pinnacles and flying buttresses, the fresh green of the spring
+leaves, the sunshine streaming down with that gaiety and brightness
+which seem specially to characterise Paris, and here and there a
+little child at play with its _bonne_ in attendance.  Once a tiny,
+fairy-like little thing, whose white dress showed that she was
+"dedicated to the Virgin," stole up to Donovan--she had watched him
+with a sort of fascination ever since he had thrown himself down on
+the bench.  Was it merely compassion for one who seemed ill, or was
+it that peculiar attraction which Donovan possessed for children?
+The tiny maid, prompted by some unknown influence, at any rate
+resolved to do her best for him, and, with her little quick fingers,
+began gathering marguerites, then, grasping the bunch with her two
+fat little hands, she toddled up to the silent figure, and, with a
+premonitory pat to arouse him, laid her offering on his knees.
+
+"See then, monsieur, the pretty flowers, they are all for you."
+
+He put his hand for a moment on the dimpled one of his tiny friend,
+and, as well as he could, thanked her, but the daring little mite was
+soon pursued by an indignant nurse.
+
+"Mademoiselle Gabrielle, come away this moment.  Ah! little wicked
+one!  I dare not take my eyes off thee for a single instant!"
+
+So Mademoiselle Gabrielle was led away in disgrace, but looked round
+nevertheless to kiss her hand, and to nod her pretty little head in
+farewell, and Donovan followed her with his eyes, with a great pain
+at his heart.  The little child's gift touched him strangely, it had
+come in such a moment of tumult and horror, when self was feeling so
+utterly hateful, the weight of dread responsibility so heavy, and
+this fairy-like creature had pitied him, liked him, he was grateful
+with the almost passionate gratitude of humility.
+
+For it was a very terrible thing this that had come to him, this woe
+that he had unthinkingly brought about.  He was very young still,
+only just two and twenty, and in spite of his wretched roving life,
+in spite of the bitter misanthropy he professed, there was still in
+him the chivalry of all strong natures, the nobleness which must
+protect what is weak; little children and women he looked upon with a
+sort of devotion; from his very childhood it had been so, the ideal
+of motherhood, the passionate love for Dot, had been the ruling
+motives of his life.  The ideal of the wife was still unformed, he
+had never loved, or even fancied that he loved any woman.  Only when
+the thought of home-life came to him, as now and then it would, when
+he saw the outer side of the lives of others, the vision of the
+grey-eyed stranger whom he had met in Hyde Park would rise up before
+him, the tender, bright, womanly woman, whose purity and sweetness
+had had such a powerful influence over him--had even helped to keep
+him straight when he had been exposed to the countless snares of
+Monaco.
+
+Because of this strong reverence for women, the scene of the morning
+had been specially painful to him.  The poor wife's misery, which
+must have haunted anyone with a heart, haunted him with a pain and
+shame almost intolerable.  But fortunately he was--notwithstanding
+all his failings--brave and manly, he struggled now with his
+weakness, and began to make his plans for further searching--that
+"doing" which was such a relief to his burdened mind.
+
+"We will come to one of Duval's places and have some dinner," was his
+first voluntary remark to the old captain, about as sensible and
+matter-of-fact a proposal as could have been made.
+
+So they went to the nearest of the restaurants, and Rouge's devoted
+attendance was rewarded by the privilege of ordering whatever he
+liked, while Donovan gulped down enough food to support him in his
+work, conquering his utter disinclination till he had satisfied his
+conscience, and then calling Waif to devour the plentiful leavings.
+
+After that came another deliberate plunge into the crowded streets,
+another long continued but utterly vain search for the lost man.
+Ceaseless inquiries, endless hurryings to and fro, once or twice a
+supposed clue to M. Berrogain's whereabouts, to be followed by
+temporary hope and bitter disappointment.
+
+Once, as the evening wore on, Donovan stopped at a _café_ on one of
+the boulevards and made the old captain have a cup of _café noir_,
+even permitted the _petit verre_ without a remonstrance; but this
+time he was too sick at heart to force himself to take anything, hope
+had almost died out since his last disappointment, and the numbing
+paralysing horror was beginning to overwhelm him again.
+
+Rouge, as he sipped his coffee contentedly, happened to look across
+the little marble table at his silent companion, and then for the
+first time realised that the day's anxiety had been something far
+severer than he could comprehend.  For Donovan's face was worn and
+haggard, grey with that strange ghastliness which only comes on such
+young faces in times of great exhaustion; the firm mouth betrayed
+suffering, the eyes, though feverishly alive to all that was passing,
+had a painfully despairing look in them.
+
+"Donovan, lad," said Rouge, anxiously, "you will come home now, won't
+you?"
+
+"You go home, captain," he answered, "you've had a long day, I? no, I
+can't come yet.  I must see whether the police have found anything,
+and I must see _her_--Madame Berrogain."
+
+"Milord, you'll only be ill again," remonstrated the old man, "you'll
+do for yourself one of these days."
+
+"That means I shall do the best thing that could be done," said
+Donovan, with an odd sudden smile, followed by a quick sigh.  "But
+you see, captain, this coil of flesh is terribly tough.  Good night,
+go home and rest."
+
+He pushed back his chair suddenly, threw down a franc beside the
+captain's cup, and before his companion could remonstrate had walked
+away rapidly alone.
+
+At length, wearily and quite hopelessly, he went to see if any of the
+agencies he had set to work had been successful in tracing M.
+Berrogain.  He had some minutes to wait in the _bureau_ of the chief
+official, but at last a small sharp-faced man appeared with a paper
+in his hand, and an all-pervading odour of garlic, which was quite
+beneath the dignity of his position.
+
+"You are come to inquire for Théodore Berrogain, disappeared
+mysteriously since the hour of 4 a.m.  Good!  I think we have traced
+him."
+
+Donovan did not speak, only breathed more quickly and clenched and
+unclenched his hands, his usual sign of strong feeling.
+
+"Inquiries have been made, and this is the result,--at the _Gare
+d'Orléans_ the _chef_ states that a man answering to your
+description, much above the usual height, pale, with thick light hair
+and moustaches, and a cast in one eye, was seen early this morning at
+the station; the official at the ticket office also remembers him,
+and will undertake to swear that he issued a ticket to him for
+Bordeaux, third class.  Acting upon this, monsieur, we have
+telegraphed to the officials at Bordeaux; the train by which it is
+supposed M. Berrogain left Paris reaches Bordeaux this evening at
+10.30, it will be met by our agents there, and they will telegraph to
+us the movements of your friend."
+
+Doubtless the man thought the "friendship" was a remarkable one--one
+must love a companion much to be so particularly anxious about him,
+and Donovan's intense relief, though so thoroughly undemonstrative,
+was nevertheless apparent even to the sleepy official.  He arranged
+to call early the next morning for further tidings, and then hurried
+away to relieve poor Madame Berrogain's anxiety.
+
+Anyone who knows the sensation of a sudden respite, the removal of an
+intolerable load, the relief from oppressing fear, will understand
+with what feelings Donovan hastened along the gas-lit streets.  He
+was treading on air; new life was coursing through his veins; the
+very consciousness of free unburdened existence was in itself
+exquisite.  And then came the satisfaction of imparting his hopeful
+news to the poor wife, amid a torrent of fervent thanks, tears,
+incoherent blessings, and exclamations of relief.
+
+He tried to cut the scene short, and it was not till he was standing
+at the open door that he placed in Madame Berrogain's hands a small
+piece of paper.
+
+"I give this to you, madame, because I think it is better so.
+To-morrow I shall go to your husband, and I will tell him what you
+hold for him."
+
+He would have moved to the staircase, but Madame Berrogain laid her
+hand on his arm.  She had glanced rapidly at the paper, and now the
+tears were streaming down her cheeks.
+
+"No, no, monsieur, this is too good!  This must not be!  Take it
+back, monsieur, I implore."
+
+"Madame asks what is impossible," he replied, with his rare and
+beautiful smile.  "One day's possession is sufficient for me; only,
+if I might be allowed one suggestion, I would say that it were better
+used for madame's own needs, not risked again at baccarat."
+
+"Ah!  God bless you!  God guard you!" exclaimed the little wife,
+clasping her hands together.  "Monsieur, I shall remember you always.
+On my knees I shall remember you, believe it.  Ah! heaven, if all
+were but like you!"
+
+He submitted to having his hand pressed in both hers for a moment,
+then, bowing low, he hastened away.
+
+After that, naturally enough came the reaction.  He was dreadfully
+worn out, and apart from his relief, everything that faced him in the
+future was most painful.  For this great shock had shown him what a
+hateful life he was leading, and he knew that it must be forsaken.
+
+He found the old captain in his room smoking, told him of Monsieur
+Berrogain's probable whereabouts, and then, with a sigh of great
+weariness, stretched himself at full length on the hearthrug.  Before
+very long Noir came in, and having heard the news in his cool,
+uninterested way, remarked, carelessly,
+
+"Well, I'm glad for your sake that the fellow's in the land of the
+living still.  I suppose he's off to America?"
+
+"He will be watched and arrested, if he attempts it," said Donovan.
+"To-morrow morning I shall start for Bordeaux.  It is the only sure
+way of making all right to see him myself."
+
+"Folly!" said Noir, crossly.  "Why, the best thing he can do is to
+leave the country."
+
+"Madame Berrogain might not agree with you."
+
+"But the fellow's ruined.  You know he can't live here."
+
+"You are mistaken," said Donovan, quietly.  "He is not ruined."
+
+"What!" cried Noir, in a startled voice.  "You mean that you have let
+him off, that you've been such an utter fool as to let those
+thousands slip through your fingers again?"
+
+"Exactly--yes--such an utter fool," said Donovan, with a touch of
+satire.
+
+"Well, milord, you're a softer fellow then than I thought.  A woman's
+tears and an absurd scare lest a weak-minded wretch should have
+drowned himself, and you melt directly, become the generous hero of
+the piece, fling _largesse_ to right and left, and walk off amid
+cheers and applause.  I'd no idea you were so weak-minded!  Besides,
+you know well enough you'll repent your bargain in a few days.  As
+your favourite Monsieur Renan says, 'Most beautiful actions are done
+in a state of fever.'  You'll recover and repent it."
+
+"Do I seem feverishly excited?" asked Donovan, quietly.  "And do I
+generally fail in deliberation?"
+
+"Don't bother him now," interposed the old captain.  "We've had an
+awful day of it."
+
+"What in the world you did it for I can't conceive," said Noir,
+unheeding.  "You who profess to rail at the injustice of life! you
+who call yourself a misanthrope!  What induced you to spend your time
+on such a search?  What does it matter to you if all the world is
+ruined?"
+
+"I suppose, after all, I didn't hate the whole world," said Donovan,
+slowly, "or else the hatred was all needed in another direction."
+
+Noir caught his meaning, and, because he could just recognise its
+humility and sad honesty, it roused all the evil in him; he knew that
+his companion was slipping away from him.
+
+"And how does your moral highness propose to live if you refund the
+money you won?"  The question was put with a contemptuous sneer.
+
+"How I shall live, Noir," answered Donovan, gravely, "I cannot tell,
+but by gambling I shall not live."
+
+"We shall see," said Noir, "when you recover from this state of
+fever.  Why, do you think that in a moment like this you can end the
+strongest incentive of your life?  You know perfectly well that you
+don't care a rush for anything except the cards."
+
+"You've about hit it," said Donovan, "but," with a firmness which
+seemed to give treble force to each separate word, "_I will not play
+again._"
+
+For a minute both the Frewins were silent; both involuntarily looked
+at their companion as he lay, his thin skilful hands clasped over his
+dark hair, his face resolute and full of noble purpose; he was
+quietly renouncing all he had as yet cared for in life, all by which
+he could win admiration, success, pleasure, and these two men knew
+it.  Rouge was the first to speak.
+
+"Well, lad, we will do the best we can for you; you will stay on with
+us."
+
+And then the look of struggle came back to Donovan's face; he rose
+hurriedly, and began to pace up and down the room, scarcely hearing
+what his companions said to him.
+
+At last he stopped abruptly in his walk, and said, hoarsely,
+
+"No, I can't stay, captain."
+
+"Can't!--nonsense!" said Noir.  "We don't part after a whole year
+together in this way."
+
+"I must go," he repeated.  "I dare not stay."
+
+"Dare not!--what, we are so bad that we shall corrupt your moral
+highness!  Oh! go then, by all means, and may you find friends more
+faithful and better suited to your lofty standard!"
+
+"Frewin," said Donovan, very sadly, "you know well enough that it is
+myself I dare not trust.  If you think that I could stay with you and
+all our own set, and yet keep to my word, well and good.  But I could
+not do it; it will be hard any way, impossible like that."
+
+"A few months ago you would have scorned to say anything was
+impossible."
+
+"Well, I've been taken down a few pegs since then, and now I do say
+it and mean it.  Good night, Noir."
+
+"When do you leave!"
+
+"To-morrow by the 9.20.  Good night and good-bye."
+
+Noir took his hand for a moment, looked him full in the face, as
+though to read what was written there, then, with an impatient
+gesture, he turned away.
+
+"Good-bye.  I see we have done with each other."
+
+Sweepstakes, waking up, screamed out his habitual greetings.
+
+"Such a talkin', such a talkin', what a parcel of fools!  Ain't you a
+fool!--ain't you a fool, milord!"
+
+The old captain, with maudlin tears coursing down his cheeks, hurried
+after the retreating figure, and it was long before Donovan could
+quiet the piteous entreaties that he would change his mind, would
+stay at least a few days longer, or would promise to come back when
+he had seen M. Berrogain.  Parting with his companions was a greater
+wrench than he had feared even; they had been very good to him, had
+nursed him through his illness with rough but very real care, and
+they were the only friends he had in the whole world.  And yet he
+knew that he must leave them; they were inseparably bound up with the
+evil he was trying to free himself from--both must be renounced.
+
+He took leave of Rouge that night, and early next day started on his
+solitary journey--solitary with the exception of Waif.  The address
+he needed had been telegraphed to the official when he went to
+inquire on his way to the station, and it was a substantial relief to
+his anxiety to be able to repeat to himself the assurance of M.
+Berrogain's safety--"Hôtel Montré, Rue Montesquieu, Bordeaux."  There
+was, however, just a little flatness and depression now that all was
+ended; he took his ticket, and then went into the _salle d'attente_,
+the "durance vile" which generally gives an Englishman a chafed caged
+feeling.  As he paced up and down, too, there was a touch of far-off
+dread in his face--the dread of the unknown future, which of all
+expressions is one of the most painful to see.
+
+Noir Frewin, suddenly entering the room in search of his late
+companion, caught the look and understood it; unprincipled as he was
+he could not help respecting a resolution which could so steadily
+persevere in direct opposition to personal wishes, and there was none
+of the malice of the previous night in his tone when he spoke.
+
+Donovan turned hastily at the sound of his own name; he was
+ill-prepared just then for a repetition of the scornful upbraidings
+which he had borne silently a few hours ago.  Noir saw that his
+arrival was not very welcome.
+
+"I'm only come to see you off," he explained.  "You're quite right,
+milord, after all; go and save yourself while you can."
+
+"Saving is not the question," said Donovan, "even if I believed in
+such a thing; but at any rate one needn't do others harm."
+
+"A change in your views, lad, since we first went into partnership,"
+said Noir.  "Your anger with whoever it was who had ruined you has
+cooled with time."
+
+"His offence looks small now that I am the bigger brute," replied
+Donovan.  Then, as the doors were thrown open, he put his arm within
+Noir's once more, and they went out together to the train.
+
+"Good-bye, old fellow," he said, rather hoarsely, just before the
+final start; "let us hope my lungs won't give out again, or I shall
+be crying out for you."
+
+"Till then we are best away from each other," said Noir, giving his
+hand a farewell grip.  "Good-bye, Farrant.  We part as we met, you
+see, in a railway-carriage."
+
+The train moved off; Frewin, with a fierce sigh, turned away, and
+Donovan was whirled through the vast plains of central France,
+marvelling not a little how his companion had learnt his real name,
+the name which he had taken such pains to conceal.
+
+Thirteen hours later and he was standing in the crowded _salle_ at
+the Bordeaux Station; he was very tired, a trifle desolate too, alone
+among foreigners, alone with such a "howling wilderness" of a future
+as he fancied before him, the future of restraint which he had
+chosen.  Waiting rather impatiently till the doors of the
+luggage-room should be opened, he scanned the faces of the crowd, the
+usual busy cheerful crowd of a French railway-station; a group of men
+whiling away the waiting-time with laughter and occasional snatches
+of song, two lovers sitting on a bench in the corner, whispering
+contentedly together, regardless of their surroundings, a fat
+rough-featured priest, with his shovel hat and starched bands, a
+respectable _bourgeois_ and his wife, followed by a toddling
+bare-headed child.
+
+Instinctively Donovan watched the little one.  The mother turned
+round, saying playfully, "Adieu!  adieu!" pretending to leave it; the
+child let them walk on a few steps, and then, with sudden dread of
+being left, ran at full speed after them with an eager "_Non, non,
+non,_" and grasped its mother's skirts; then both father and mother
+laughed, each took one of the tiny hands, and the three walked away
+together.
+
+Home dramas all around him, love in all its forms and degrees--the
+friend's, the lover's, the mother's, the wife's!  He sighed, and
+stooped down to pat Waif.  Then followed the general rush into the
+adjoining room, he went to claim his portmanteau, and in a few
+minutes was out in the starlight, on his way to M. Berrogain.
+
+His desolateness made him think of Dot, of the times when he too had
+had some one to love and protect.  They were sad, but on the whole
+peaceful thoughts which came to him as he crossed the bridge, pausing
+for a moment to look at the long chain of lights marking out the
+crescent-shaped quays.  She, the holy child of his memory, was at
+peace; it was perhaps well that she had passed away from him, he had
+not been fit to be near such purity and loveliness, and as she had
+grown older it was possible that he might have pained her--pained her
+by his unworthiness.  That thought was intolerable.  And so,
+unconsciously, he repeated to himself Noir Frewin's words--"We were
+better parted."  Neither of them knew that the unselfishness and
+humility prompting the thought was drawing them to the Source of all
+love.
+
+The walk was a long one, through broad well-built streets, past the
+theatre, on again into narrower and darker thoroughfares, till
+Donovan began to wonder whether the porter whom he had hired to carry
+his portmanteau, were not perhaps taking him by some roundabout way
+in the hope of extorting a larger pourboire.  At last, turning to the
+left, they passed through a circular market-place, and down a narrow
+street with high dingy-looking houses.
+
+"There, monsieur," said the porter, with a wave of the hand, "that is
+the Hôtel Montré."
+
+Donovan saw at the corner the inevitable _Café Billard_, and upon the
+upper storeys the name of the hotel inscribed.  The porter went on to
+the entrance, and Donovan, following, found himself in a paved
+courtyard with two mouldy-looking orange-trees growing in tubs, and a
+dim light proceeding from the room of the _concierge_.  He inquired
+at once for M. Berrogain, and was relieved to find that he was known
+still by his real name.  He was within too, had taken his key not
+five minutes before, would monsieur see him at once or be shown to
+his own room?
+
+Donovan desired to see M. Berrogain at once, and, having dismissed
+his guide, was ushered by a pretty, little, white-capped servant up a
+dirty stone staircase, along a labyrinth of passages, then up again
+and through a corresponding labyrinth darker and dirtier than that
+below.
+
+"Perhaps monsieur sleeps," suggested the little servant, glancing
+round as she paused at a door to the right.  "It is very late," and
+she pretended to yawn.
+
+"Knock and see," said Donovan, impatient of the delay.
+
+A quick _entrez!_ relieved his fears, and, taking the candle from his
+conductress, he opened the door and found himself in a fairly
+comfortable room, where, extended on a shabby green velvet sofa, lay
+M. Berrogain, the _Figaro_ in his hand, the _Gironde_ lying at his
+feet.  For a moment the thought would come, "He is unconcerned and
+comfortable enough; you need not have troubled about him."  But while
+Donovan paused, the unconscious Frenchman glanced round; he had been
+absorbed in his paper, and had half forgotten that some one had
+knocked and been admitted; now catching sight so unexpectedly of the
+man who had ruined him, he sprang to his feet with a cry half of
+fear, half of passion.
+
+"Ah! evil one, why do you pursue me?" he said, in trembling tones.
+"Would you remember a petty debt of two hundred francs when you have
+won a fortune from me?  Stony-hearted wretch! would you pelt a fallen
+man?  You have tracked me--you the rich the successful will hunt down
+the unfortunate for a miserable trifle such as that!"
+
+"I am not rich," said Donovan, "nor are you unfortunate."
+
+"Miserable Englishman!" cried out M. Berrogain.  "Why do you mock me?
+You are come to drive me to despair, to death!  Why could you not let
+me leave the country in peace?  Why do you come with your grasping
+avarice to----"
+
+"Listen, Berrogain," interrupted Donovan, in his firm sad voice.  "I
+could not let you leave the country, because there is no need for you
+to go; I am not mocking you; be quiet and listen.  To-morrow morning
+you can go back to your wife at Paris; she holds the fortune which
+you lost at baccarat."
+
+They were standing by the draped mantel-piece; Donovan turned away as
+he spoke, and putting aside the muslin curtains looked down into the
+dimly-lighted street.  He was not sorry to feel the fresh air upon
+his face.
+
+There was a moment's silence, then M. Berrogain came forward and took
+his hand.
+
+"My friend," he said, falteringly, "forgive what I have said; I was
+in despair.  But this generosity--no--no, it cannot be, it cannot be."
+
+"It _must_ be," said Donovan, quietly.
+
+"No, no; leave me enough to go on upon, or allow me six months'
+respite, I should be more than content with that."
+
+"But I should not," said Donovan, decidedly.  "No, Berrogain,
+everything is settled, so do not let us waste words on the subject."
+
+"But it is unheard of!" said M. Berrogain.  "It is noble, generous,
+kind; but, my good friend, before you commit yourself, think how will
+you get on in the world if you act in such a way?"
+
+"That," said Donovan, with a half smile, "is a question yet to be
+solved, but I do not mean to live by other men's losses.  Enough has
+been said though about it all.  Can one get anything to eat in this
+place?  I'm furiously hungry!"
+
+"Ah! but you are an Englishman!" said M. Berrogain, amused by the
+request.  "There is a restaurant just opposite, let me come with you."
+
+"To watch the voracious islander!" said Donovan, laughing.  "To-night
+I shall keep up the national character.  I could eat half a roast
+beef if there was a chance of getting it!"
+
+"Ah! is it possible?" said the Frenchman.  "And at this time of
+night, too!"
+
+He did not think that the anxiety which he had caused could possibly
+have affected his companion's appetite on the previous day, and sat
+amusedly at the table, watching the absolute demolition of the
+largest piece of _Ros-bif rôti_ which the restaurant could produce.
+
+Then somewhere in the small hours Donovan found his way to the rather
+dingy wainscoted room which had been allotted him, and, in spite of
+the noisy orgies being carried on in the room below, was soon
+sleeping profoundly.
+
+M. Berrogain left for Paris the next day, and Donovan went to the
+station with him, submitted to his demonstrative gratitude, and then
+turned away rather disconsolately to make the best of his new life.
+He wandered about the place for some little time, found his way into
+the beautiful Church of St. Michel, looked wonderingly and half
+pityingly at the groups of worshippers drawing their _prie-Dieu_ up
+to the side altars, then sauntered out again, along the quays, among
+the tramways and trucks, the coils of rope and the chains, idly
+scrutinizing the closely-moored vessels and the busy work of lading
+or unlading, or coaling, which was going on.  Everywhere work and
+business.  And he too must work, he had been leading a wretched
+self-indulgent life, he would work now, indeed he must work to live.
+The question was what should he do, and where should he go?
+
+He had rather a hankering after America, but that idea had to be
+given up, for he had not enough to pay his passage; it seemed to be a
+choice of trying for some situation in Bordeaux itself, or of going
+back to England, the chances of finding immediate employment being
+about equally small in either case.  He decided at last to let fate
+choose his destination, and tossed up a _petit sou_--heads he was to
+go to England, and thus it fell.
+
+With a half sigh he pocketed the coin, looked at his watch, and then
+hurried away to find out when the next steamer left for Liverpool.
+There was one that evening to his relief, and he hastened back to the
+Hôtel Montré, glad that his hours in its dingy rooms were numbered.
+The passage was being swept by the little white-capped maid-servant
+as he passed down it, and as he put his things together the refrain
+of the song she was singing floated in to him:
+
+  "Oui, malgré ta philosophie
+  L'amour seul peut charmer la vie."
+
+
+Over and over it went, a tuneless little chant, and with strange
+persistency it rang in his ears long after, "L'amour seul!--l'amour
+seul!"  Was it indeed that which could alone make life supportable?
+He was not quite the misanthrope he had considered himself, but had
+he any love for his kind?  Many times he asked himself that question,
+as he stood on the deck of the steamer while it ploughed its way
+through the Bay of Biscay, or lay with Waif at his feet, like a
+recumbent crusader, looking up at the starry skies.  Did he only not
+hate?--was there anything more active than that in his feeling
+towards the rest of the world?
+
+All this time he had hardly realised the hardness of the task he had
+set himself.  He had willed never to play again, and was quite at
+rest now that the resolution was made, for never in his whole life
+had he failed to do a thing which he had deliberately undertaken.
+His confidence in his own strength was boundless, and though he had
+reasonably enough seen the impossibility of still living with the
+Frewins, now that he had once broken with the old set he did not give
+a thought to other possible temptations.
+
+And thus, perfectly satisfied with the strength of his will, and full
+of his new and good purposes, he was set down at Liverpool.  Then
+followed a time of bitter disappointment; though he had just
+renounced a fortune, the world gave him the cold shoulder again, and
+his money began to evaporate, to disappear with the horrid rapidity
+which becomes so noticeable when we are counting by units instead of
+tens.  And very soon came the temptation.  He had been out all day in
+the weary useless search after work, the evening set in wet and
+chilly, as he passed down the gaslit streets to his cheerless lodging
+a familiar sound made him pause, he was passing a billiard-room--the
+sharp click of the balls, the eager voices, how natural it all
+sounded!  He had taken no resolution against playing billiards.  Why
+should he not relieve this intolerable dulness by an hour or two of
+amusement?  A momentary struggle followed, then he pushed open the
+door and went in.  How long he was there he could never clearly
+remember, but it was not until a substantial token of his wonted
+success lay before him that he realised the failure of his will.  He,
+the strong and self-reliant, had yielded to the very first
+temptation, had failed most miserably.  He dropped the cue, pushed
+away the money, and amid a chorus of surprise and inquiry strode out
+of the room.
+
+Too completely dismayed and bewildered to find any relief in his
+usual custom of rapid walking, he went back to his wretched lodging,
+and there sat motionless in the summer twilight in blank silent
+despair.  Everything was lost--friends, money, pleasure, worst of
+all, his confidence in himself.  What was there left?  Nothing, he
+said, but a wretched life that was far better ended, a despicable
+"I," that must struggle to find itself bread, because--only because
+of a dim, inexplicable, unreasonable idea that self-destruction was
+wrong.  What possible good was there in his life to himself or to
+anyone else?  He did not think then of his influence with the
+Frewins, he could only feel that he had cheated himself, failed in
+his purpose, sunk irrevocably in his own opinion; what guarantee was
+there, too, that his will would not fail again?
+
+Two paws on his knee and a soft warm tongue licking his hand roused
+him at length.
+
+"Oh!  Waif," he exclaimed, with a great sigh, "if only I'd a tenth of
+your goodness, old dog!"
+
+By-and-by he lit the gas, dragged out the tin of dog biscuits, and
+gave Waif his supper, glancing in between the mouthfuls at the
+advertisement columns of an open, newspaper which lay on the table.
+Once the dog was kept begging for quite a minute, for his master had
+become absorbed in what he was reading.
+
+"Wanted, as secretary to the ---- Institute, a young man of good
+abilities, knowledge of book-keeping and a clear handwriting
+indispensable; salary £100.  Apply in person, on the 15th or 16th,
+the President, ---- Institute, Exeter."
+
+Secretary!--surely he was well fitted for the post.  Possibly, too,
+there would be less competition down in the quiet west-country; here
+in Liverpool his chance of success seemed infinitesimally small.
+
+"Well, my dog," he said, almost cheerfully, as he threw down the next
+mouthful, "shall we set off together and try our luck?  £100 a year
+would keep you in biscuits, so there's some reason in it, after all."
+
+The necessary inquiry, however, into his resources showed him only
+too plainly that he had not enough money for the journey; after his
+present expenses had been paid, his worldly possessions would have
+dwindled down to a sum below the price of a third-class ticket to
+Exeter.  His watch and chain had been in pawn ever since the day
+after his arrival; he had no other valuables, nothing by which he
+could raise money, nothing except----  His eye fell on Dot's little
+travelling-clock, and he started painfully.  The idea of selling that
+had never occurred to him before.  In all his wanderings it had been
+with him--it was almost the only thing he still had which had
+belonged to her; to part with it seemed unbearable, and especially so
+in this particular way.  To take it deliberately with his own hands
+and bargain about it, to leave it--the very thing which she had
+touched, and fondled, and admired--in a pawnbroker's shop, to let the
+silvery cathedral chime which she had loved fall on the ears of
+strangers, it seemed like desecration!  And only an hour ago the
+money he had so much needed had been his.  If he had but taken it,
+all this difficulty would have been avoided.  But then his better
+self made its voice heard.
+
+"No, my little Dot, no," he said aloud; "better a thousand times that
+this should go than that I should have been doubly false to myself."
+
+He did then what he very seldom ventured to do--drew his little
+miniature of Dot from its place and looked at it steadfastly.
+
+Sweet, child-like little face, clear, satisfied eyes, can you not
+speak to him, and tell him that love cannot die, that he is compassed
+about with a cloud of witnesses, that his struggles to live honestly,
+his despair at the revelation of his weakness, even his present
+sacrifice to a shadowy instinct rather than to a principle--all is
+helping to draw him towards you?
+
+No, comfort cannot be his yet.  He cannot see that the pain and loss
+are necessary to the great gain; he can only go on bravely and
+painfully in the darkness, holding to the faint track of right and
+duty which he begins faintly to perceive.
+
+Presently the little cathedral clock was standing on a shelf among
+other clocks, large and small, in a Liverpool pawnbroker's shop, and
+Donovan was walking back to his room through the driving rain with
+head bent low, and thirty shillings in his pocket.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+"O'ER MOOR AND FEN."
+
+  Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control,
+  These three alone lead life to sovereign power,
+  Yet not for power (power of herself
+  Would come uncall'd for), but to live by law,
+  Acting the law we live by without fear;
+  And, because right is right, to follow right
+  Were wisdom in the scorn of consequence.
+                                          TENNYSON.
+
+
+And after all the struggle seemed utterly useless, for the Exeter
+---- Institute would not accept him as secretary.  He was in every
+way suited for their purpose, and by far the most promising of the
+candidates; but in a close cross-examination the insuperable barrier
+was brought to light.
+
+"And your religious views, sir?" asked the president.  "As this is a
+charitable institution, we always make a point of knowing the views
+of our staff.  It is well to be united.  Do you belong to the High or
+Low party?"
+
+"To neither," said Donovan, stiffly.  "I am an atheist."
+
+And in those four words lay his doom; because the institute was a
+_charitable_ one it could not help such a hardened sinner, could not
+let its accounts and letters be contaminated by his touch.
+
+"I have come from a great distance in the hope of getting this post,"
+said Donovan, swallowing his pride.  "I am very much in need of work.
+Surely in the mechanical work of a secretary such a matter as one's
+private creed might be passed over.  What difference can it make to
+anyone else?"
+
+"My dear sir," said the head of the charitable institution, "I can
+only refer you to the Bible, where you will find the injunction: 'Be
+not unequally yoked together with unbelievers,' and 'What part hath
+he that believeth with an infidel?'"
+
+  "Alas! for the rarity
+  Of Christian charity
+  Under the sun."
+
+
+With the indifference of his kind, however, the frigid adherence to
+the letter, and the disregard of the spirit, a sort of bitter
+resolution awoke in Donovan's heart.  He would not be doomed by a
+"charitable" institution, he would not sink down quietly into
+starvation.  Life in itself was not worth a straw, but just from
+opposition, from a manly love of breasting "the blows of
+circumstance," he would struggle on, fight down all obstacles, live
+to be of use too, in spite of the president's specimen of Christian
+generosity and brotherliness.  Fiercely through his teeth he quoted
+Shylock's passionate words, "Hath not a Jew eyes? ... fed with the
+same food ... warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a
+Christian is?"
+
+He had been two days at Exeter; now returning to his lodgings, he sat
+down and resolutely went over all possible plans for his future.
+Should he go back to Greyshot?  Mr. Alleyne, the man with whom he
+used to read, might possibly put him in the way of employment.  It
+was not very likely, though, and there were many objections to a
+return to the old neighbourhood.  Should he write to old Mr. Hayes?
+He might be at home again by this time, though in the winter Doery
+had said he was still abroad.  But Mr. Hayes was poor, and would
+unquestionably think only of monetary help.  No, that would not do.
+Should he go home and throw himself on his mother's mercy?  But that
+thought was too wildly impracticable as well as too painful to be
+allowed for a moment.  What connections had he in this part of the
+world?  What had his father's business in Plymouth been, when four
+years ago they had gone there together?  Searching back in his memory
+he at length recalled the name of his father's acquaintance, and
+remembered that he had described him as a pleasant elderly man.  He
+was a banker--there would be no difficulty in finding his address.
+
+He began a letter to him at once, a brief, business-like, stiff
+letter, not at all like that of a starving man asking for help.  But
+then he had no intention of starving.  He was young and
+strong-willed, undaunted still, notwithstanding his repulses.
+
+Having despatched the letter, he made up his mind to follow it; there
+was no hope of finding work in this quiet old city; at Plymouth he
+would have more chance.  He might just as well spend his time in
+getting there as in loafing about the Exeter streets.  Getting there
+meant walking, for the proceeds of the clock were nearly exhausted,
+and would barely suffice to get him some sort of food and shelter,
+but he rather enjoyed the thought of the exercise, and even the
+prospect of "roughing it" a little.
+
+So the next morning, with his few belongings stowed away in a small
+bag--the portmanteau had been discarded in Liverpool,--he set out on
+his walk.  The natural energy of his character shone out strangely
+every now and then, in spite of the disastrous education which had so
+cramped it.  No one meeting him that day, as he walked briskly along
+the Devonshire lanes, would have imagined that he was as poor as the
+veriest tramp, and had infinitely fewer resources than most beggars.
+His stern face was lighted up with resolute perseverance, there was a
+sparkle, not exactly of enjoyment, but of keen determination, in his
+eye; he held his head just as proudly as in the days when he had been
+Donovan Farrant, Esq., of Oakdene Manor.
+
+It was a lovely July day, a little hot for walking certainly,
+especially in the deep lanes where every breath of air seemed to be
+shut out; but there was something satisfactory about the whole
+excursion, and Donovan walked on steadily.  The high hedges were in
+their full beauty--beautiful as only Devonshire hedges can be, with
+their broad green fringes of harts-tongues, their drooping lady ferns
+and sturdy bracken, their glorious wild roses and bramble bushes,
+with here and there a bit of mossy grey stone cropping out, or a
+miniature waterfall thrusting its silvery white head through the
+grasses, and tumbling with splash and splutter into the tiny wayside
+brook below.  The smell of the new-mown hay gave a country fragrance
+to the air, and in most of the fields the men and women were hard at
+work, while wisps of sun-dried grass caught here and there on each
+side of the road proved that loaded waggons had already passed that
+way, leaving their trophies on the hedges.
+
+Donovan had made up his mind to sleep at Chagford, and it was already
+late when he crossed Fingle Bridge.  The view there was so exquisite,
+however, that he was obliged to stop for a few minutes; resting on
+the grey stone parapet, he looked down at the transparently clear
+river, along the green meadows and wooded valleys to the hills which,
+encircling all, stood out clearly defined against the soft evening
+sky.  All was quiet and peaceful; in this country stillness and
+exquisite beauty, it seemed possible almost to realise that once all
+the world had been pronounced "very good."  Donovan thought only,
+however, of the contrast of this peace with the world of competition,
+the overcrowded market of labourers in which he was trying to push
+his way.  It was with a sigh that he turned away and walked on to the
+little grey town of Chagford, where the lights were beginning to
+shine out from the cottage windows, and the square tower of the
+church stood darkly above the lower roofs, a grim silent guardian.
+
+Very early the next day he was on his way again, exulting in the
+fresh morning air, and greatly looking forward to the crossing of the
+moor.  Waif scampered on in front, enjoying the exercise as much as
+his master, and Donovan found himself whistling as he walked.  At
+length, leaving the cultivated region behind him, he struck across
+the wild waste of Dartmoor, and then the full delights of his walk
+came to him.  The freshest, purest, strongest air in England was
+blowing in his face, his feet were treading a springy elastic soil,
+and all around him was a scene of the wildest beauty.  The heather
+was not yet out, but the gorse blossoms still lingered, and made a
+golden glow over the great undulating expanse, while all round the
+tors raised their rugged, granite heads, now in full sunshine silvery
+white, now with a passing cloud shadow darkest purple--grotesque,
+fancifully shaped, irregular, and yet exactly harmonizing with the
+barren waste surrounding them.
+
+On sped the dog and his master, now through marshy ground, springing
+from one tuft of heather to another, now up across the scattered
+granite blocks of a tor, and down again into a fresh featured waste
+on the other side, now startling a troop of the wild Dartmoor ponies
+which galloped away, their manes flying in the wind, and Waif barking
+at their heels, now stepping across one of the old British
+encampments with their imperishable "hut circles."
+
+It was not till about five in the afternoon that he reached Prince
+Town, and then for the time his pleasure was clouded, for the first
+sight that greeted him was the great grey block of buildings where
+poor Noir Frewin had been unjustly immured.  Passing some wretched
+little black cottages which are familiarly known as New London, he
+went down the hill to the town itself, on the way encountering a gang
+of convicts dragging a cart, and guarded by two warders, rifle in
+hand.  The sight was a painful one, the men half patient, half
+sullen, looked at him curiously and envyingly; the warders urged them
+on.
+
+Donovan had half thought of sleeping at Prince Town.  He had been
+walking since seven o'clock that morning, and was rather tired, but
+the gloom of the place so oppressed him that he could not endure the
+thought of staying in it.  He selected instead the cheapest-looking
+public house from the large number which the little place offered,
+had his dinner, and after a short rest prepared to go on again.  The
+people of the house in vain tried to induce him to stay.  He was not
+to be turned from his purpose, however, and having learnt that he
+could put up for the night at the "Dousland Barn Inn," if he went by
+the road, or at Sheepstor, if he went by the moor, he resolved to
+take the latter course.
+
+By this time it was between six and seven in the evening, but he
+calculated that in even ordinary walking he should reach his
+destination before dusk, and with the bold outline of Sheepstor
+before him as a landmark, he steered his way across the waste.  There
+was something awe-inspiring in the entire loneliness as he passed on
+further from Prince Town.  Far and near not a creature, not a house
+was to be seen.  Beauty, grandeur, even a faint shadow of the
+Infinite, who can fail to trace these in that glorious moor, unique
+in its wildness and expanse?
+
+Involuntarily Donovan fell into a deep reverie.  The purer nobler
+view of the world forced itself upon him; he had seen hitherto so
+little but the evil.  And then naturally his thoughts went back to
+Dot, as they invariably did in his best moments, and he comforted
+himself in that terribly insufficient and yet pathetic way which
+Byron has expressed in one of his saddest poems.
+
+  "The better days of life were ours;
+    The worst can be but mine:
+  The sun that cheers, the storm that lowers
+    Shall never more be thine."
+
+
+He had been walking on abstractedly; looking up at last, he was
+dismayed to find that a sudden mist had arisen, completely veiling
+the surrounding tors, and, what was worse, evidently spreading every
+minute.  Here was a hindrance which he had never for a moment
+contemplated.  The evening had seemed perfectly fine when he started;
+he had no compass, and had trusted implicitly to his eye in choosing
+the most direct route to Sheepstor.  Now all traces of the tors were
+entirely obliterated.
+
+It was not a very pleasant prospect.  All manner of stories he had
+heard of travellers lost in the mist recurred to his memory; dismal
+tales of people who had wandered round and round in a circle for
+hours, never many yards distant from their starting-point, or of
+unfortunate pedestrians overcome by fatigue and cold.  He stood still
+for a minute or two, called Waif to heel, and steadily faced the
+facts of the case.  The mist was rolling nearer and nearer, hemming
+him in on every side; even now he could hardly see a yard in front of
+him!  Although it was a July evening, the cold was enough to make him
+shiver; the mist pressed down on him impenetrably, every breath he
+drew brought him into closer contact with the heavy, damp, chill fog.
+Standing still was out of the question; he resolved to go on.
+Sheepstor lay, he thought, rather to his left, and as he had heard
+that the natural instinct in walking was to tend towards the right,
+he took a very decided course in the opposite direction.
+
+On and on he went, ceaselessly but almost hopelessly on.  He was
+growing very tired, too; the mist hung heavily upon him, he could not
+see an inch before his feet.  Fearing that Waif might possibly stray,
+he had taken him up under his arm, and was plodding heavily along
+when he suddenly came to marshy ground.  For three or four steps he
+floundered on, trying to regain the firm land, but what might have
+been done with sight, was simply impossible in the blinding mist.
+Another step, and he felt himself sinking deeper; a fierce struggle
+to free himself, and in a moment he was up to his knees in one of the
+treacherous Dartmoor bogs.
+
+He uttered no invectives, but, when perfectly convinced of the
+hopelessness of struggling out, he drew Waif's head up so that he
+could look into the clear brown eyes.
+
+"Waif, old boy," he said, "mother earth means to settle the question
+for us.  Do you feel inclined to have done with your master, your
+bones, and biscuits, and wanderings?"
+
+The dog, evidently understanding the danger, set up a howl so wildly
+piteous that Donovan's heart was touched.
+
+"Poor old fellow, you'd rather go on, would you?"
+
+And for a moment they looked full into each other's eyes with the
+strange comprehension that comes between some dogs and some men.
+Then Waif licked his master's face, and Donovan, all the time feeling
+that he was gradually sinking deeper, patted the white and tan head.
+
+"Very well, Waif, as you say we'll have a try, take my hat, old boy,"
+and he put his soft cloth hat into the dog's mouth, "scrunch it up,
+never mind! a hundred to one I shall never want it again! find a man
+if you can and bring him back here, do you understand? now go.
+There!" and with some effort he threw the dog as far from him as
+possible, and Waif, alighting where his trifling weight might be
+borne, tore off like the wind with the hat between his teeth.
+
+In throwing the dog Donovan felt the soft ground beneath him sink
+considerably, an irresistible force sucked him down lower and lower,
+very soon he was up to his waist in the cold wet mud.  Then he spread
+out both his arms and waited quietly for the end--whichever end it
+was to be.
+
+He felt strangely indifferent.  If death did come to him, why, then
+it would be well; if he was rescued, there would be the satisfaction
+of not being conquered by the affection of good mother earth, who,
+having dealt rather coldly with him all the days of his life, now
+seemed determined to hold him in a clinging embrace.
+
+His jacket was not fastened, he could see three buttons of his
+waistcoat.  With a sort of grim sense of the ludicrous he resolved to
+use them as a measuring gauge, by which he could judge how fast he
+was sinking.  It was bitterly cold down in this wet slush, on the
+whole he rather looked forward to the end.  What was that odd
+recollection that came to him?  He was a little child again, and
+Doery's prim face rose before him.
+
+"Asleep in church, Master Donovan! oh! for shame!  I wonder you
+wasn't afraid you'd never open your eyes in this world again."
+
+And in spite of his strange position, even now, he could not help
+laughing as he recalled his childish sense of discomfort, and how for
+several Sundays after that he had not been able to let his eyelids
+drop in peace.
+
+The first button disappeared.
+
+Then he wandered on to recollections of his life with the Frewins,
+how they would wonder what had become of him!  He was back in Drury
+Lane with Sweepstakes abusing him.  He was in a railway carriage, and
+Noir was waving the cards before his eyes in the three card trick.
+He was sitting in the park and a bright-faced girl near him was
+talking of home, the sort of home which he had never been able to
+realise.
+
+The second button disappeared.
+
+Then he felt a strange impression of having been through this scene
+before, of having felt the cold wall of mist hemming him in, and
+after a time he remembered it had been in his nightmare about Dot.
+And over and over the words rang in his ears;
+
+  "The better days of life were ours;
+    The worst can be but mine."
+
+
+"You are safe, Dot, my darling.  ''Tis nothing that I loved so well,'
+I would not have you back even to the days that were ours.  And the
+worst may be over for me, Dot, ended here out on Dartmoor!"
+
+The third button disappeared.
+
+"I wish I had not gone to that billiard-room," he mused, "I wish I
+could have died satisfied at least that my will was as strong as I
+used to think it.  To fail! how hateful it is to fail!  If I thought
+that I could get on, and not come to grief again so weakly, I should
+almost wish to get out of this bog and have another try."
+
+The mist had now rolled away, but it was almost dark and the stars
+were shining above him.  The night wind blew through his hair, waved
+the cotton grass growing around him, sighed and moaned over the
+desolate country.  Nature sang him her dreariest death-song.  Ah,
+well! death could not be more dreary than his life had been!
+
+By this time he was up to his shoulders, and was obliged to raise his
+arms, the grass and rushes blew against his face.  It was exceedingly
+unlikely that Waif would find help.  In a very short time he must
+inevitably die.  What a strange ending to his stormy life! strange
+and yet perhaps not inappropriate, to die here alone in the darkness,
+as he had lived, the grandeur and beauty and majesty of the great
+moor close to him, all around, but shrouded in the black night; faint
+imperfect images of the beautiful tors presented to him now and then,
+but never a true idea of their form.
+
+By-and-by came a light, flickering wavering far in the distance.  Was
+it a Will o' the wisp?  Could he hold out any longer?  Could he keep
+rigidly motionless till this possible help should reach him?  A sort
+of dogged endurance and hatred of yielding came to renew his failing
+powers, his voice clear and strong rang out into the night.  Yet why
+did he call? why did he not yield, and sink down quietly into
+nothingness?  For an instant life and death, the chances of each,
+hung in a perfectly even balance, and his indifference turned to a
+decided wish for the end of the struggle.  Should he call again? he
+thought not.  But just as he was making his final resolution to keep
+the silence which would inevitably lead to death, he heard Waif's
+sharp anxious bark from afar.
+
+"My dog, I won't be such a selfish brute," he exclaimed, realising
+Waif's faithful devotion, and thinking of his despair if the search
+should be of no use.  "Ho! here! help!" and then, with his usual
+whistle, he tried to attract the dog's notice.
+
+In a few minutes Waif was close to him, whining with delight,
+snorting with impatience, and tearing madly backwards and forwards
+between the approaching lantern and his submerged master.  Then the
+bearer of the lantern came into view, a sturdy Devonshire farmer, and
+his almost equally sturdy son.  Donovan hailed them eagerly.
+
+"Veth!" exclaimed the farmer, "stogg'd in Foxtor Mire that ye are!"
+
+"Set fast here for hours," said Donovan.
+
+"No tauny bye! (_don't tell me!_)" exclaimed the good man, much
+shocked.  "But we'd best talk when the deed's dune.  The missus she
+says to me, 'maister, you take the laistest bit o' rope with ye,
+likely it's a bog accident.'  So lay ye hold, my man, fast hold o'
+the end, and veth! we'll sune have ye safe and dry.  Hold on, my man,
+and sure as my name's John Peek we'll have ye safe."
+
+Then, with a tremendous effort, the sturdy Devonshire men pulled at
+the rope till Donovan's shoulders were free once more.  After that
+they hastily threw a noose round him, and with infinite difficulty
+succeeded at length in dragging him from his slimy grave.
+
+In a few minutes Donovan, encrusted in black mud, and so stiff and
+weary that he could hardly drag himself along, was safely on terra
+firma once more, and Waif, proud and happy, was springing about his
+feet.
+
+Partly from physical causes, and partly from his sudden removal from
+the near contemplation of death, he fell into a half dreamy state,
+was not sure whether the sturdy farmer and his son were not after all
+shadows, even doubted whether Waif was not an illusion, while every
+weary step he took seemed to add to his strange indifference as to
+what was to become of him.  If left to himself he would have plodded
+on and on till he dropped.
+
+But John Peek was at his elbow--he was too muddy to be
+touched--piloting him across the moor in the direction of the farm,
+talking in his half unintelligible Devonshire dialect, and at length
+leading him through the yard gate, across the roughly-paved granite
+road to the little white farm house where he lived.  At the sound of
+their footsteps the wife hastened out, a comely Devonshire woman, her
+short skirt, crossed neckerchief, smooth hair, and healthy-looking
+face, all as fresh and neat as could be.  The husband explained
+matters, and Donovan was hurried into the kitchen, where, what with
+the warmth of the peat fire, the contrast between his horrible state
+of filth and the exquisite cleanliness of the place, added to the
+extreme difficulty of understanding the dialect of the farmer and his
+wife, he gradually came to himself, realised that he was actually
+alive, that his surroundings were no shadowy phantoms of the
+imagination, that he was still Donovan Farrant, possessed of little
+but a dog and a will which had failed, and with a blank future
+beyond, in which his primary object must be--not to starve.
+
+In the immediate present, however, his only wish was to be clean once
+more, and with some difficulty he made himself understood.  Evidently
+the farmer's wife thought cleanliness next to godliness, and fully
+sympathised with the desire.
+
+"Zich a jakes (_such a mess_) as never was seen, fit to make my flesh
+crip, ess fay it is!  Come ye up, zur, come ye up over the stairs,"
+and the good woman led the way up the spotless staircase to a room
+above, where, with much ado, she brought a huge wooden washing tub,
+hot water, an enormous piece of soap, even a scrubbing-brush,
+crowning all her favours by fetching him an entire set of her
+husband's clothes!
+
+Cincinnatus handled the plough, and doubtless wore the equivalent for
+fustian.  History does not relate how he looked in rustic guise, but
+Donovan, with his "Roman" face and unmistakeable air of refinement,
+presented a very comical appearance in Farmer Peek's marketing
+costume.  But the comfort of being dry and clean again was great, and
+he joined the farmer and his family in the kitchen, feeling able to
+speak the thanks for his rescue which till now had remained unsaid.
+
+"And now zet down, zur, zet down, for ye hike mortal vagg'd," said
+the farmer, drawing up one of the Windsor chairs to the hearth.
+"Likely ye had a gude walk before ye got stogg'd i' the mire?"
+
+"Yes, from Chagford," said Donovan, stretching his feet out to the
+smouldering peats.
+
+"No, tanny bye! on the trat the whole blessed day!" exclaimed the
+wife, "and ye hike crewel tender."
+
+He laughed and disclaimed any "tenderness."
+
+"Zich walks isn't for the likes of ye," said the farmer, with a
+shrewd look at the wearer of his market-day suit; "ye should lave it
+to us pewer folk--it's not for gintry and passons."
+
+Donovan could not help smiling at finding himself classed with
+parsons.
+
+"I am poor," he said--"a tramp."
+
+"Aw!" exclaimed the farmer, shaking his head with a knowing smile,
+"ye won't make us belave that, zur--no, no, us knows the gintry when
+we zee 'em."
+
+"In spite of which, I am poor and a tramp," said Donovan; "and what
+few things I had left went down into Foxtor Mire."
+
+"Ah, gude heaven!" exclaimed the wife, "it was a mercy ye didn't go
+yurself; but what will ye plase to take for zupper, zur? there's
+cream i' the dairy, and----"
+
+"Whatever you would have for yourselves, nothing else," said Donovan.
+
+The woman hesitated; he spoke as if he meant to be obeyed, but her
+hospitable soul longed to set the best things in the house before the
+hero of the evening.
+
+"Veth, zur, it's not fitty for zich as ye," she began, but Donovan
+interrupted her.
+
+"Nothing else, thank you," and his tone, more than the actual words,
+convinced the good woman that nothing but the usual supper must be
+prepared.
+
+So Donovan sat down with the farmer and his wife to broth and
+"kettle-bread," and then, at his own request, was allowed to
+establish himself for the night before the fire; for, in spite of the
+summer evening, he had been so thoroughly chilled that he was glad of
+the warmth.
+
+Before long all was quiet in the house; Donovan, with Waif at his
+feet, lay very still but very much awake in the little kitchen.  By
+this time all might have been over for him--how strange was the
+thought!  He might have entered on the "peace of nothingness;" life
+might have been over, perplexities solved by the great silence, no
+trace of him left even, to carry sorrow to his mother or remorse to
+Ellis; and instead of this, he was still in the world, lying on his
+back moralising by the light of a peat fire!
+
+It was a curious accident which had brought him like this under a
+hospitable roof; he had been in many odd places, but never in quite
+such a homely place as this.  Half dreamily he let his eyes wander
+round the white-washed walls; opposite him was the tall eight-day
+clock, and a large copper warming-pan reflecting the dull red glow of
+the fire; above the high mantelshelf two rather ancient-looking guns,
+and a great array of tin pots and platters; below, a spotless white
+dimity frill hanging over the wide hearth; overhead, in the black
+rafters, hung sundry hams.
+
+His own clothes were hanging up to dry as near the peats as the
+farmer's wife would allow, and glancing from them to the borrowed
+garments he wore, and for the first time realising that Farmer Peek
+was at least six inches shorter and immeasurably stouter than
+himself, that the fustian clothes hung about him in folds, and that
+his whole appearance was most utterly grotesque, he burst out
+laughing--laughed till the wooden rafters rang, till Waif started up
+and began to wag his tail sympathetically, till inevitably he would
+have roused the farmer and his wife, had they not slept as soundly as
+the Seven Sleepers.  Certainly the personal danger he had been in had
+not awed him as a moralist might have desired; he went to sleep with
+nothing more sober in his thoughts than a verse out of Dot's
+"Nonsense Book"--
+
+  "There was an old man of the West
+  Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest;
+  When they asked--does it fit?
+  He replied, not a bit,
+  That funny old man of the West."
+
+
+The next morning came the rather humiliating necessity of explaining
+to the farmer his utter inability to reward him for his rescue and
+his hospitality.  He was received, however, with all the delightful
+warm-heartedness and real courtesy so general in the west country.
+
+"Aw! zur, ye didn't think a wanted money!  It's treu us a given ye
+the laistest bit of a help, but God bless ye, zur, us has been plased
+to du it."
+
+"When I get on in the world, I shall not forget you, Mr. Peek," said
+Donovan, with firm confidence in the "when."  "All I can do now is to
+thank you very much for your hospitality."
+
+"Veth, zur, you're welcome.  Us wull be plased to zee ye again, and I
+wish ye weel in zaking zarvice."
+
+"Seeking service!"  Donovan smiled, but the expression was true
+enough.  He wished his worthy host good-bye, managed to leave his
+last coin--half-a-crown--in the market-day coat, and set off briskly
+on his fourteen mile walk to Plymouth.
+
+Skirting round the foot of Sheepstor, he was soon on the road, with
+the bold outlines of Sharpitor and Leathertor on one hand, and far in
+the distance a line of silvery brightness where the sunlight fell on
+the sea.  Life felt good.  On the whole, he felt really glad that the
+blue vault was above him, not the black mud of the bog.  Towards the
+afternoon, however, when he had been walking some hours, his spirits
+sank.  The heat tried him a good deal; he began to feel very stiff
+and tired, as well he might after his adventure of the previous
+evening.  And with the physical exhaustion came a degree less of
+confidence in the future.  What if his father's acquaintance, Mr.
+X----, refused to help him?  What if he could find no employment now?
+He walked on heavily, but still with resolution--come ill or well, he
+was ready to face it manfully, but his cheerfulness disappeared, and
+it was a stern-faced and very oddly-dressed candidate who presented
+himself at the door of the bank, and asked to see Mr. X----, the
+manager.
+
+The bank was closed, but one of the clerks appeared in answer to his
+ring, and directed him to the manager's private house.  He went
+there, and, with the bearing of a proud man forced to ask a favour,
+was shown into Mr. X----'s library.
+
+A handsome keen-faced gentleman of about five and thirty was sitting
+at the table writing.  He glanced up as Donovan was announced,
+scanned him from head to foot without rising, then bowed stiffly.
+This was Donovan's view.
+
+Mr. X----, on the other hand, saw before him a tall, gaunt, handsome
+fellow, apparently about five and twenty, in clothes which were
+stained and shrunk to such a degree that a tramp would scarcely have
+said "thank you" for them, holding a ragged cloth hat in his band,
+and in spite of his beggarly array, carrying his head very high.
+Such a shabby-looking fellow as this could hardly be asked to sit
+down on one of Mr. X----'s new red-morocco chairs.  The good farmer's
+wife had carefully dusted the Windsor chair for him the night before,
+the banker was not so courteous or so well-bred.  Throughout the
+interview Donovan stood.
+
+The banker briefly asked his business.  It appeared that the elder
+Mr. X---- had died two years before; the present one had never heard
+of Colonel Farrant.  And then, after a few mutual explanations, Mr.
+X----'s rather quick peremptory manner became a little more suave as
+he said,
+
+"You must, I think, see, Mr. Farrant, that your claims upon me are of
+the very slightest.  Our respective fathers knew each other--at
+least, you tell me so.  Even should I take you at your word without
+seeking to prove this to be the fact, however, it is hardly
+sufficient ground for--in short, you understand me, I am sure.  I
+need not explain myself further."
+
+"I understand perfectly," said Donovan, coldly.  "You think I am come
+to beg.  I am quite aware that I look like a beggar, thanks to one of
+your Devonshire bogs; but nothing is further from my thoughts.  You
+were the only person I knew in the neighbourhood.  I want work, and
+thought you might be able to advise me where to try for it."
+
+"I am afraid, Mr. Farrant, you are a novice in these matters," said
+the banker.  "One cannot at a moment's notice cause situations to
+spring up ready to hand; besides, in the letter I received from you
+from Exeter, you gave me no particulars and no references."
+
+"I have none to give," said Donovan, shortly.
+
+"You can at least tell me what your previous employment has been."
+
+"I have only just returned from the Continent."
+
+The banker looked at him a little curiously.
+
+"And before that?"
+
+Donovan coloured slightly, but answered, firmly,
+
+"Before that I was a card-sharper."
+
+The banker started.
+
+"Bless me! and after this you expect me to patronise you, Mr.
+Farrant?"
+
+"On the contrary," said Donovan, quietly, "I see plainly that that is
+the last thing you will do."
+
+There was irony in the tone; the banker smiled a little, looked again
+at his strange visitor, and saw that, in spite of the beggarly array,
+he was evidently a clever fellow.  He liked clever fellows, and his
+next remark sounded much more cordial; but Donovan's sensitive pride
+at once recoiled from the slight touch of vulgarity.
+
+"I see you're sharp enough, Mr. Farrant, no lack of brains; but even
+if I knew of any situation likely to suit you, what guarantee should
+I have that you might not prove a little too sharp again?"
+
+"No guarantee," said Donovan, wincing.  "But I should hardly have
+answered your question with such perfect openness, if I had been the
+knave you take me for.  I can give you no guarantee but my honour."
+
+"And in business that would hardly answer," said Mr. X----, with a
+sharp-edged smile; "besides, the honour of an ex----"
+
+"Good afternoon," said Donovan, moving to the door.
+
+"Stay, stay," said the banker; "that was rather hard lines.  I can't
+help you to a situation, Mr. Farrant, but you seem in a very bad way,
+and as I see you're a clever fellow I will break through my ordinary
+rule.  Day and Martin made their fortunes by giving away a stray
+sovereign, and, though I can hardly hope to do that, I have still
+great pleasure in giving you some small assistance."
+
+He fumbled in his pocket, produced a gold coin, and pressed it into
+his visitor's hand.
+
+There are some deeds of so-called "charity" which wound more deeply
+than actual unkindness, some favours which are more hard to endure
+than blows, some ways of giving so utterly intolerable to the
+recipient that even in need they must be rejected.
+
+Donovan was actually penniless, he felt stiff, weary, ill, and
+already very hungry, but no power on earth could have brought him to
+accept the banker's tactless, ill-bred offer.  He put down the
+sovereign, bowed, and hurried out of the house.
+
+For a time indignation and those heart-stirrings which follow after
+an insult has been received kept him up; he tramped up and down the
+Hoe physically strong again because of the inward tumult of feeling.
+Then he wandered into the town, lounged wearily about the streets,
+
+  "Homeless near a thousand homes,"
+
+and worse than homeless, utterly destitute in every way, sick at
+heart, ashamed of his past, miserable in the present, and hopeless as
+to the future.
+
+When St. Andrew's clock struck nine, he was standing at the corner of
+the churchyard idly watching the passers-by, wishing that night d
+come that he might hide himself in the darkness and forget his
+weariness in sleep.  But as time passed he grew more and more uneasy,
+and the dread of illness began to haunt him painfully; he had
+certainly eaten nothing since early morning, but that was not
+sufficient to account for the growing faintness which was stealing
+over him.  He had had a dim idea of enlisting, but that faded away
+now, he was too wretched to wish for anything but shelter for the
+night, precisely the thing he had not.
+
+There were only three alternatives, either he must break his
+resolution again and trust to his customary skill and good fortune,
+or he must try to sell Waif, or he must adopt the beggar's
+shelter--an arch or a doorway.
+
+A sharp struggle was needed to dismiss the first idea, the merest
+glance at the dog to prove the second impossible; then in pain and
+great weariness he wandered on once more.  Only a month or two before
+he had had more money than he knew what to do with--it was strange to
+look back to the old life, with its excitement and success, and
+self-indulgence--and now, through his own doing, he was utterly cut
+off from it all.  But he knew that it was well, and in a larger sense
+than before the words which had haunted him on Dartmoor came to him
+now,
+
+  "The worst can be but mine."
+
+
+Failure, pain, ruin, starvation, all these were apparently his
+destiny; he felt that they were endurable because they involved no
+harm to others; it had been a choice of life and pleasure at the
+expense of his honour and his fellow-men, and death and suffering
+affecting himself alone.  His contact with the world had changed his
+views greatly; a year ago he had been a misanthrope, now he saw the
+position of self and others inverted.
+
+More than four years had gone by since the grave-looking Indian
+colonel and his son had passed up the steps of the Royal Hotel.
+Donovan, fresh from his school disgrace, full of hurt pride and
+bitter resentment of the injustice, had spent no very comfortable
+night there.  Unlikely as it may seem, he slept a great deal better
+beneath the porch of one of the neighbouring houses than he had done
+before in the luxurious room.  With Waif crouched up as near him as
+possible for the sake of warmth, with the cold night wind blowing on
+him, he slept well; in the old times he had been his own slave, now
+he was "lord of himself."  Disheartened, humbled, with widened
+sympathies and self thrust low, he was now, in spite of the verdict
+of the president, a truer follower of Christ than some professing
+Christians, the only difference being that he followed bravely and
+painfully in the darkness, not even knowing his goal, while many of
+them in their full light follow sleepily and lazily, attaining to
+little of the broad-hearted love and self-abnegation to which they
+have pledged themselves.
+
+Donovan did not dream, he was too completely worn out; his sleep was
+heavy and unbroken; but he woke early the next morning with a name in
+his mind--Porthkerran.  What brought it there he could not tell.  In
+thinking over his acquaintance in the West at Exeter, he had
+naturally remembered the Tremains; but it seemed utterly improbable
+that a doctor in a remote Cornish village would be able to help him
+to work, and he had never thought even of applying to him.  But now,
+in the freshness of the July day, as he dragged himself up from his
+resting-place, and felt the utter impossibility of seeking work in
+his present state, the thought of Porthkerran, of the kindly doctor,
+of Mrs. Tremain, came to him as a light in his darkness.  He was at
+that stage of illness when pride--even the pride of independence--is
+brought low, and though he had rejected the banker's sovereign but a
+few hours before, the idea of going to the Tremains and asking their
+help did not seem hard to him.
+
+The only question was, should he ever get there?  To loiter about in
+Plymouth in search of work would be both useless and impossible; but
+with an actual goal, a definite thing to be done, it was different.
+He made up his mind to go, and set off on the long walk patiently and
+deliberately, though anyone with a degree less of courage and
+resolution would have succumbed at once.
+
+When he had walked about five or six miles the full difficulties of
+his undertaking came to him.  On first waking he had felt ill indeed,
+but the sleep had to some extent refreshed him, and it was not till
+later in the morning that the unknown pains of hunger beset him.
+Still he toiled on, always on, with aching head and failing limbs,
+while above the summer sun blazed down on him in fullest power.  What
+if the Tremains were no longer at Porthkerran?  What if they turned
+him away because of his previous life, or his religious views?  These
+were his only thoughts as he struggled on.  By-and-by came faintness,
+and he was obliged to stagger to the side of the road and lie down on
+the grass, and then he lost count of time, and was very dimly aware
+that the intolerable heat and glare changed to cloudy coolness; it
+was not till a heavy shower of rain began that he came fully to
+himself, staggered to his feet once more, and resumed his walk.
+
+For more than an hour the rain fell ceaselessly; when it stopped, he
+was soaked to the skin and very cold; even when the sun came out once
+more he was shivering from head to foot.  How much farther could he
+manage?  A sign-post, with "Porthkerran three miles," rather
+comforted him; he must and would get there, and once more be forced
+himself to go forward.
+
+The road lay now along the cliffs overlooking the deep blue sea.
+Donovan scarcely noticed anything, however, and it was not till the
+ringing clang of metal fell upon his ear that he looked up.  By the
+side of the road was a blacksmith's forge; the blazing fire looked
+tempting; he entered the shed, and asked leave to warm himself.
+
+The smith, a fine-looking man, with thick black hair tinged with
+grey, and eyes of deep blue like the Cornish seas, turned round
+quickly on hearing himself addressed.
+
+"Come in, friend, and welcome."
+
+The voice was a hearty one, but the smith was busy, and turned to his
+hammer and anvil once more, while Donovan drew near to the fire, and
+felt a little temporary relief from the warmth.
+
+Presently wheels were heard, and a carriage stopped at the door; the
+smith put down his hammer and stepped briskly forward.
+
+"Well, doctor--gude day to you--cast his shue, has he?"
+
+Donovan heard the words distinctly, but they conveyed no meaning to
+his mind; he stared down vacantly into the glowing furnace, not even
+turning his head to see either the horse or the driver.  A man's
+voice was explaining.
+
+"Half a mile back, Trevethan.  How long will you take to put him on a
+fresh one?  I'm in a hurry to be at Mr. Penruddock's."
+
+"Slow and sure, doctor--not less nor a quarter hour, and maybe more."
+
+"Why don't you walk to the Penruddocks', papa?  I can hold Star, and
+Ajax is so quiet there'll be no fear of his doing any harm."
+
+It was a girl's mellow voice speaking--a voice in which there lurked
+laughter, tenderness, and yet a quaint sort of dignity.  Donovan
+recognised it in a moment, and with a sudden return of strength and
+energy hurried to the door.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+ONE AND ALL.
+
+  Deal meekly, gently, with the hopes that guide
+  The lowliest brother straying from thy side;
+  If right, they bid thee tremble for thine own,
+  If wrong, the verdict is for God alone.
+  * * * * * * * * *
+  Strive with the wanderer from the better path,
+  Bearing thy message meekly, not in wrath;
+  Weep for the frail that err, the weak that fall,
+  Have thine own faith, but hope and pray for all.
+                          OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES.
+
+
+One glance at the little group without told him everything.  There
+was the smith scrutinizing Star's shoeless foot; standing beside the
+other pony was Dr. Tremain himself, a little greyer than he had been
+four years ago, but not much altered; and in the pony-carriage sat
+Donovan's ideal, whom he knew now to be Miss Tremain--Gladys
+Tremain--for the unusual name recurred to his memory with the thought
+of the evening when he had first seen her in her own home, had heard
+her singing words which had moved him strangely.
+
+With this sudden revelation, all thought of his present state of need
+passed from his mind; he only felt that he must do something for her,
+and with a word to the smith he went to Star's head.
+
+"Ah! that'll du, doctor; now ye can go up to Squire Penruddock's;
+here's a chap as'll hold the pony steady."
+
+Instinctively Donovan kept his face turned from Dr. Tremain; he could
+not bear to risk being recognised just then.  The doctor saw only a
+tall figure in very shabby clothes--some friend of Trevethan's, he
+supposed; he merely glanced at him, told Gladys to drive on to meet
+him when the pony was shod, and walked away in the direction from
+which Donovan had just come.
+
+The wind had risen, a west wind, and it blew strongly, though not
+coldly.  Donovan could see the ribbons on Gladys' hat fluttering,
+though, after the first, he did not directly look at her, but kept
+his face half hidden.  He could hear her talking to Trevethan, and
+once or twice some antic of Star's made her laugh.  She was evidently
+a favourite with the blacksmith; Donovan could see how the man's blue
+eyes lit up when she spoke to him.
+
+Gladys, meanwhile, looked curiously at the motionless figure at
+Star's head.  She had seen him as he came out of the shed, but for
+such a moment that she had only caught a sort of vision of a very
+pale, worn face.  Who could he be?  Some one whom Trevethan knew, or
+merely a tramp?  Yet his attire was scarcely like a tramp's; shrunk,
+and stained, and dirty as it was, it had a look of better days about
+it.  Who was he?  She wished he had not been quite so near, for it
+was impossible to ask the blacksmith any questions about him.  Ought
+she to give him something for holding the pony?  Looking at him
+again, she was sure that he was visibly shivering, and that decided
+her.  She opened her purse, and took out a sixpence.  He looked ill,
+and cold, and very poor.  He had been very good in holding Star;
+assuredly he ought to have something.
+
+All this time she had only seen his back.  When the shoeing was
+finished, and Trevethan had been paid, she drew up the reins, and
+rather shyly said, "Thank you for your help," holding out the coin to
+him as she spoke.
+
+Oddly, though she had been rather curious to see his face, in putting
+the sixpence into his hand she looked at that; then, startled to find
+a smooth white palm instead of a hand roughened by hard work, she
+looked up quickly and saw a face which seemed partly familiar to her,
+a face with chiselled features, and dark cavernous eyes with a look
+of pain in them.  But even as she first glanced at him his lips
+smiled slightly; he raised his hat.
+
+"Oh!  I beg your pardon.  I did not see," she stammered, looking at
+the slender fingers which had closed over her sixpence, and colouring
+crimson.
+
+"Thank you," he replied, in a tone which she could not mistake for
+sarcasm.  "I am very much obliged to you."
+
+Then he raised his hat again, and turned away; and Gladys drove off
+with hot cheeks.  Where had she seen him before?
+
+Donovan went back to the forge, partly for the sake of warming
+himself, partly in the hope of learning something about the Tremains.
+The blacksmith was busy, however, and he could only elicit the
+information that "that was their doctor up to Porthkerran, and a rale
+gude one he was;" that "Miss Gladys did gude to everyone she spoke
+to, and was like a bit of God's sunshine, and no mistake," with a few
+other most patent and obvious facts.  Then, all the time swinging his
+great hammer, Trevethan began singing one of Wesley's hymns, and
+before he had come to the end, the pony-carriage passed the door once
+more.
+
+"Will the doctor be going home now?" asked Donovan, as soon as he
+could make himself heard.
+
+"Yes, belike," said the blacksmith, pausing in his work, and looking
+at his companion.  "You'd du weel, friend, to go and see him, for you
+look mortal vagg'd.  If you're passin' this way again, come and take
+your tae with me.  You shall have a gude welcome."
+
+"Thank you," said Donovan, touched by the off-hand yet real
+hospitality.
+
+Then Trevethan having directed him to the doctor's house, which he
+already knew well enough, he set off once more.
+
+Before he had gone far, a turn in the road brought him in sight of
+the Tremains' pony-carriage.  It was standing still.  Drawing nearer,
+he saw Gladys standing, bare-headed, on the verge of the cliff, her
+sunny hair blowing about in the wind.  She seemed to be searching for
+something.  Dr. Tremain, holding the reins at arm's length, was also
+peering down.
+
+"Better give it up, my dear," Donovan heard him say.  "We couldn't
+reach it, even if we could see it."
+
+"Can I be of any use?" asked Donovan, coming towards the two.  "Is
+anything lost?"
+
+"My hat," said Gladys, turning round, but colouring as she saw who
+the speaker was.
+
+Donovan's quick eyes were soon scanning every nook and cranny of the
+rugged cliff, and, after a minute's steady progress up and down, he
+detected far below a tiny moving speck, which he pronounced to be an
+end of ribbon.
+
+"Will you allow me to fetch it for you?" he asked, forgetting his
+weakness and weariness in his desire to serve her.
+
+"Oh! no, it is so far down," she said, quickly.  "It is not the least
+worth while."
+
+But Donovan was not to be deterred from the errand by its difficulty,
+and disregarding Dr. Tremain's remonstrances, he began to clamber
+down the cliff in a way which showed that he was either well used to
+the Cornish coast, or else an expert gymnast.
+
+"He held Star just now at the forge," said Gladys to her father.
+"And I am sure I have seen him before, papa.  Who can he be?"
+
+The doctor was too intent on watching the descent, however, to
+answer, and when he did speak it was only to exclaim,
+
+"Well done! he's got it."  And then to criticise his way of setting
+about the ascent.  "Quite right, he means to keep to the left, and
+skirt round that great boulder; bravo! that was cleverly managed.
+Come, Gladys, after this you'll have to make a speech.  It's really
+very good of this young fellow.  Hullo! though, he's slipped."
+
+For Donovan had trusted to an insecure foothold, and had slipped down
+about six feet.  Gladys gave a little cry, but happily a projecting
+boulder prevented any danger of a serious fall, and the two watchers
+saw that at least their helper was in no immediate peril.  He was
+quite still, though; that began to frighten them.
+
+"Are you hurt?" shouted the doctor.
+
+But no answer came, and the figure still remained crouched up in the
+same position.  Dr. Tremain felt very uneasy, but in two or three
+minutes Gladys gave a relieved exclamation.
+
+"See, papa, he moves, he is getting up again."
+
+They could see the tall figure struggling up, indeed, but the doctor
+saw at once that something was wrong.
+
+"Are you hurt?" he shouted once more.
+
+"Yes," came back the answer, "but I'll manage it in a minute."
+
+He had fallen with his ankle twisted under him, and had given it a
+sprain; it was indeed a very awkward situation, for the cliff was
+steep and hard to climb, and now, with the acute pain he was
+suffering, it seemed almost impossible; he looked at the little white
+hat hanging on his arm, and he looked up the grey cliff to Gladys.
+After all it only needed patience and a resolute disregard of the
+pain--he would try it.  But it was infinitely harder than he
+expected, over and over again he turned dizzy, and was obliged to
+pause, and at last each step became a perfect battle.  He could not
+attempt to answer the questions which reached him from above, every
+power was strained to its utmost in the physical struggle, in the
+conflict between the resolutely persevering "I will," and the
+overwhelming pain and weakness and difficulty.
+
+At length, with an almost superhuman effort, he dragged himself up to
+the top, grasped the doctor's outstretched hands, crawled on to the
+smooth grassy plateau bordering the cliff, and, without a word, sank
+down prone, while Waif, with low whines, walked round and round him
+in great distress.  Large drops of perspiration stood on his
+forehead, yet his face expressed little but hard fixed resoluteness,
+the iron will leaving its tokens even in semi-consciousness.  The
+doctor looked at him intently fora moment, then he raised him so that
+his head rested on Gladys' knee, and prepared to examine his ankle.
+The merest touch caused a sharp thrill of pain, and Donovan opened
+his eyes.
+
+"Oh!  I am so very, very sorry," said poor Gladys.  "I am afraid you
+have hurt yourself dreadfully."
+
+"Only a sprain, I think," he answered, faintly, and then his eyes
+closed again.
+
+"We must get him home as soon as possible," said the doctor.  "I will
+bring up the pony-carriage as near as may be, and I think, Gladys,
+you had better run back to the forge and ask Trevethan to come and
+help.  We shall be less likely to pain him if there are two of us to
+lift him in."
+
+The doctor went to see to the pony-chaise, and Gladys was just going
+to obey him, when she was startled by a peremptory, "No, don't go,"
+from the prostrate figure she was supporting.  Then, to her dismay,
+he slowly raised himself and staggered towards the carriage.
+
+"You should not have tried it," remonstrated the doctor, helping him
+in, and making him put up his foot at once on the opposite seat.
+"Now, Gladys, jump in quickly and drive us home.  I shall sit here,"
+and he established himself beside the injured ankle, holding it in a
+way which lessened the jar of the wheels.
+
+The last exertion had proved too much even for Donovan's strength,
+however; he was only dimly conscious now, just realising from the
+pain that he was being driven somewhere, where he neither knew nor
+cared, or whether this half dream of incessant motion and incessant
+pain went on for ever and ever.  All seemed a matter of supreme
+indifference.  When the carriage at last stopped he felt no curiosity
+as to what was to follow, and, after a few minutes' pause, submitted
+without a word to being lifted out and borne somewhere, never once
+raising his eyelids to see what they were doing with him.  Presently
+he became aware that his boot was being cut, and then came an
+instant's sharp pain, and he fainted.
+
+Everyone who has experienced it knows the extreme discomfort of a
+return to consciousness.  Donovan came to quickly, however, partly
+aided by an odd association.  The very first thing he distinguished
+was the smell of brandy, then he felt a glass held to his lips.  From
+sheer annoyance he gained strength to push it away, and in weak, but
+decidedly cross tones, said quickly,
+
+"Get away with your abomination, Rouge; I tell you I won't touch it!"
+
+"Don't trouble him, he's coming to," said the doctor, and then
+Donovan, fully roused by the words, half raised himself and looked
+round.
+
+"I beg your pardon," he said to the doctor, "I thought I was with
+some one else."
+
+"I am afraid I hurt you a good deal just now; I ought to have seen
+you were getting faint and given you a restorative first," said Dr.
+Tremain.
+
+"Faint!" cried Donovan, with all a man's dislike of making a scene.
+"You don't mean that I fainted."
+
+"Certainly, the moment I touched your foot," said the doctor,
+smiling; "and, what is more, you will be fainting again before long
+if you don't take something.  Try this," and he poured some milk into
+a tumbler and held it to his lips.
+
+Donovan drank it and revived a little.
+
+"It was not the pain," he said, abruptly, "I was half starved."  Then
+glancing round the room, he continued in an odd, forced voice, "You
+shouldn't have brought me to your house; is there no workhouse or
+hospital at Porthkerran?"
+
+"You shall consider this your hospital; I can promise you at least
+one resident doctor and several nurses," said Dr. Tremain, smiling.
+
+"Don't laugh," said Donovan, "it is no laughing matter; I haven't a
+farthing in the world, I'm worse off than most beggars; couldn't you
+have seen by these that I wasn't fit for you to take in," and he
+touched his clothes.
+
+"My dear fellow, do you think that makes any difference, or that we
+show our hospitality in Cornwall by shipping off our helpers to the
+workhouse?  Come, don't talk nonsense, but tell me when you had your
+last meal."
+
+"Yesterday morning between eight and nine."
+
+"Whew!" the doctor gave a slight whistle, felt his patient's pulse
+again, and, turning to the servant, gave orders for some gruel to be
+made at once.  When that had been administered, Donovan sank into a
+sort of doze.  Presently he knew that a fresh voice was speaking, a
+low, pleasant voice.  He came to that borderland of sleep when words
+begin to convey some meaning, the quiet mist-wreathed entrance to
+full consciousness.
+
+"Has he got everything he wants?"
+
+"Everything just now; he is simply worn out.  Gladys has told you how
+we met him, I suppose."
+
+"Yes, everything.  I wish I had been at home when you came back.  Is
+it a very bad sprain?"
+
+"I daresay it wasn't at first, but imagine climbing up the cliff near
+the forge after he'd done it!  There's good in that fellow, depend
+upon it; it was a spirited thing to do, especially in the state he
+was in.  He owned he was half starved."
+
+"Poor boy!  I wonder how he happened to be in such straits."
+
+Donovan began to show signs of waking; the voices ceased, but he felt
+a soft hand putting back the hair from his forehead; it reminded him
+of the feel of little Dot's tiny fingers, and then, with a rush of
+shame, he felt how unfit he was for such tenderness.
+
+Suddenly opening his eyes, and half sitting up, he said, quickly,
+
+"Look, you must get me moved in some way, I'm not fit to stay here."
+
+Mrs. Tremain thought him feverish; but the doctor partly understood
+him.
+
+"He is afraid of giving trouble; you must tell him there is nothing
+you like better than nursing."
+
+"No," interrupted Donovan, "that is not it; listen to me, and then,
+if you will--turn me out; you won't be the first who has done so.  I
+was once a card-sharper.  I haven't a penny in the world.  I am an
+atheist.  Was I wrong in saying you would be wiser if you turned me
+out of doors?"
+
+"Quite wrong," said the doctor, in an odd, quiet voice.
+
+Then there was silence for a few minutes, and Donovan felt the soft
+woman's hand on his hair once more.  For a moment he breathed hard,
+and there was a quiver in his voice when he said at last,
+
+"I had given up expecting to be tolerated after that confession.  I
+don't know why you are so different from other people.  I might have
+guessed, though, that you would be.  Mrs. Tremain," he looked
+steadily up at her, "do you remember me?"
+
+She gazed at him in perplexity, half remembering the face, and yet
+utterly unable to say where she had seen it.  He raised his hand and
+pushed back the dark waves of hair from his forehead, revealing a
+long, white seam, the ineffaceable mark of his old wound.  And with
+the sight there flashed back into Mrs. Tremain's mind a vision of the
+past.
+
+"Mr. Farrant!" she exclaimed.
+
+"Donovan Farrant--yes."
+
+The doctor stood with an expression of surprise and great uneasiness
+on his face.  If this were Donovan Farrant, how came it that he was a
+penniless adventurer?  How came it that little more than a year after
+reaching majority he had come to Porthkerran in a state of
+semi-starvation?  There must have been foul play somewhere.  That
+will he had witnessed could not have been properly executed, or such
+a state of things could not have been.  This evening, though, he must
+ask no questions, his patient was not fit for it.  So he put away the
+uncomfortable thoughts as well as he could, and, coming forward, took
+Donovan's hand in his.
+
+"I remember you very well now.  I wonder I did not at first; but you
+are a good deal changed.  We have often thought of you, and wondered
+whether you would ever come down to see Porthkerran again.  I was
+glad to have you before I knew your name, and, knowing it, I am
+doubly glad.  But now, as your doctor, I must forbid any more
+talking.  Some more food first, and then you'd better settle in for
+the night."
+
+"One thing more," said Donovan, "do you realise that there are two of
+us?" and he pointed to Waif.  "He's all I have in the world.  I can't
+part with him."
+
+"Not even last night when you were starving?"
+
+Donovan shook his head.
+
+"Perhaps, though, I ought not to ask you to take him in, beggars
+can't be choosers."
+
+"My dear fellow," said the doctor, laughing, and patting the dog's
+head, "will you never learn to believe that we are not utter brutes.
+Of course, the dog is welcome to spend the rest of his life here.  I
+must quote the Cornish motto to you--'One and all.'"
+
+With these words echoing in his ears, Donovan lay watching the busy
+preparations for the night which were being made by Mrs. Tremain and
+the servant.  The room he had been carried to was on the ground
+floor, a schoolroom, he fancied, but now busy hands were converting
+it into a bed-room, and busy feet without were hurrying up and down
+the stairs, and along the passages, fetching and carrying.  "One and
+all"--they were certainly carrying out their motto!  And Donovan, who
+would have been sorely chafed by having to submit to a grudging
+service, watched his present nurses almost with pleasure.  The
+comfort, too, of being in a home-like room again was very great.  He
+ran through in his mind all the wretched places he had slept in, from
+the room in Drury Lane to his last night's shelter under a porch.
+Philosophically as he had endured them, it was, nevertheless, an
+unspeakable comfort to be again where all was fresh and clean, a
+relief, too, to be not in a mere living place, but a home.  He read
+the titles of the books in the bookshelf, then glanced round the
+walls, half fearing to see once more his old enemy, the dingy
+oil-painting of the shipwreck.  Instead, however, he found Wilkie's
+"Blind Man's Buff," next to that an elaborate chart of the kings of
+England, with illuminated shields and devices, which, no doubt, had
+been painted by Gladys; then a print of a "Holy Family," by Raphael,
+and lastly, just opposite him, Ary Scheffer's "Christ the Consoler."
+
+He looked at this long and earnestly, struck by the great beauty of
+the idea it embodied, and, through the wakeful feverish night which
+followed, the vision of the face of Christ and the thought of the
+Cornish motto haunted him incessantly.
+
+The next day, the doctor not being at all satisfied with his
+patient's state, and being besides anxious to learn the reasons of
+his poverty, induced him to speak of his past life.
+
+"You are not nearly so strong-looking as when I saw you last," he
+began, drawing a chair up to the bedside.  "Tell me what you have
+been doing with yourself, and then perhaps I shall understand your
+case better."
+
+"It was four years ago that I saw you," replied Donovan.  "It's
+likely enough I should be changed since then.  Do you want the whole
+story?"
+
+"As much as you feel inclined to tell," said Dr. Tremain.  "Both as
+your friend and as your doctor I shall be glad to hear.  After you
+left Porthkerran, you went to your home in Mountshire, I believe?"
+
+"Yes," said Donovan, twisting a corner of the sheet as he spoke.  "We
+went back to Oakdene, and after about two years my mother married
+again--she married the man who was my guardian, Ellis Farrant.  He
+came to my father's funeral.  I daresay you remember him."
+
+Dr. Tremain tried not to show his dismay at this piece of news, and
+Donovan continued.
+
+"He had always hated me, and there were constant quarrels between us;
+the final one would have come sooner if it had not been for my little
+sister.  Partly for her sake I tried to behave decently to him.  She
+died the winter before last.  For a little while my step-father left
+me in peace, but directly I proposed entering some profession he told
+me I must expect nothing from him.  That of course led to a quarrel,
+and in the end I was turned out upon the world to get on as best I
+could."
+
+"But your father's will?" questioned Dr. Tremain, trying to speak
+quietly.
+
+"He left all to my mother, unconditionally, and of course she could
+do nothing for me, even if she wished to."
+
+The doctor sighed deeply, and there was a very troubled look on his
+face as he glanced at his patient.
+
+"Poor fellow! you have been hardly used.  Where did you go?"
+
+"To London; but not one of our old friends would have a word to say
+to me, and I could get nothing to do.  At last I fell in with a man
+named--well, never mind his name; he has been a good friend to me,
+even though he is a professional gambler.  I went into partnership
+with him; it was impossible to live honestly, and I thought the other
+way would be bearable enough, for I was crazy at the injustice I had
+suffered, and hated everyone.  But it didn't do.  I found after a
+time I couldn't stand it.  And then I went in for congestion of the
+lungs, that was last January.  As soon as might be, I went abroad,
+but at Monaco had a relapse, which kept me back for another month.  A
+little later, I found that I must break with my old friends and give
+up the sort of life I'd been living.  I came back to England, and
+tried hard to find work, and by living cheaply, managed to spin out
+my money for a little while.  I very nearly got a place as secretary
+at Exeter, but the man asked me point-blank what religious views I
+held, and that settled the question.  I'd scarcely anything left
+then, but I made up my mind to come to Plymouth, and walked across
+Dartmoor.  There I almost came to grief in a bog--it's a thousand
+pities I didn't quite--but Waif and a good Devonshire man hauled me
+out.  The next day I came on to Plymouth, without a farthing, as I
+told you, and yesterday morning, being ill, either from the hours I
+spent in the bog, or from the unusual bed of stones, I felt only fit
+to crawl on to Porthkerran, hoping that you might help me."
+
+It was evidently a relief to him when he had finished his story, and
+the doctor, who had been pleased with his brief straightforward
+confession on the previous night, was glad that he still kept to the
+mere outline of his life.  He never alluded to those personal
+thoughts and details which go to make up the interest of any
+life-story, never attempted to excuse himself in any way, but, with
+some effort, just stated the main facts.
+
+Dr. Tremain sat in silence for a few minutes.  That Donovan had been
+cruelly wronged, he knew, and the mere fact of that would have given
+him a special claim upon his love and sympathy.  But the thought of
+his life, his rebuffs, his temptations, his fall, his efforts to do
+right, appealed even more strongly to the doctor's heart.  "I found I
+must give up the life I'd been living."  What struggles, what
+absolute sacrifice lay within that one sentence!
+
+While he was musing over what he had heard, Donovan watched him
+silently.  Already the very deepest love for this man had sprung up
+in his heart--a strange, dependent love, which he had never before
+known--the love which, latent in all hearts, is usually awakened by
+the first true thought of God.  A God-like deed, and the love shining
+in a man, had now touched into life this natural instinct, and
+Donovan, in his pain and humiliation, was yet all aglow with the
+strange new joy of devotion, enthusiasm, reverent admiration, the
+echo of the love first given.
+
+The prolonged silence would have been hard to bear, if he had not had
+the most entire yet inexplicable faith in his new friend; but as it
+was he waited in perfect content.  Presently the doctor looked up
+with great gladness in his face.
+
+"Do you know I'm very glad you told me you were coming to us."
+
+"Why?" asked Donovan, a little surprised that this should be the only
+comment on his story.
+
+"Because it shows that you've pluck enough to do what I fancy was
+very disagreeable to your pride."
+
+"I don't know," said Donovan.  "I suppose it was partly being so done
+up, but I didn't think about minding the asking a favour.  I only
+felt need of you, and dread that I should never be able to get to
+Porthkerran."
+
+"I can't imagine how you ever did get here," said the doctor, who
+knew that the walk would have been simply impossible to most people
+under the same circumstances.  "I'm afraid you've been very rash in
+your self-management for some time past, and that is the reason you
+are suffering so much from your exposure.  After two such illnesses
+as you described to me, a man needs some care for the next few
+months, at least.  Did you take any care of yourself, or--mind, I
+only ask as a doctor--did you stay on at Monaco, ruining your health
+by excitement at the casino?"
+
+"I only went to Monte Carlo once," replied Donovan, "and that before
+the relapse.  Don't think it was any self-denial on my part; it was
+simply because I lost the first time, and because I hated the other
+evils of a gambling place.  For the rest I was quiet enough.  Since I
+came to England, of course, I have lost ground."
+
+"You have taken no care of yourself," said the doctor.
+
+"Life isn't worth much extra fuss," said Donovan; "and besides, I was
+too poor.  Short commons, no work, and intolerable dulness do pull a
+fellow down."
+
+"Ah, yes; you must have felt dull when you gave up gaming," said the
+doctor, rather wishing to draw him out.
+
+"Very," was the laconic answer.  Then, as if remembering that he had
+no ordinary listener, he added--"It's only since then that I've had
+the least idea how weak one's will is.  It certainly is humbling to
+find that after you've resolved to do a thing it needs a constant
+struggle not to give in after all."
+
+"What made you first think of giving it up?" asked the doctor.
+
+And Donovan then gave him an account of the miserable day in Paris,
+when M. Berrogain disappeared, and gradually Dr. Tremain realised how
+matters stood with his guest.
+
+He came out of Donovan's room understanding him far better, yet
+feeling much more than he had yet done the great anxiety of his own
+position.  This comparative stranger had peculiar claims upon him; he
+had been aware of that directly he had heard his name, but now,
+having heard the story of his life, he could not but feel what care
+and tenderness and wisdom were needed in dealing with such a
+character.  Undoubtedly this great self-renunciation was a
+turning-point in Donovan's life, this awakening thought for others a
+sure sign of growth; what if by any ill-judged word or deed of his he
+should be thrown back or discouraged?  The doctor was the most humble
+of men; greatly as he longed to help his guest, he trembled at the
+immense responsibility and difficulty, and grieved over his own
+unfitness for the task.  For what was not required of him?  Donovan
+was friendless--he must be his friend; cheated of his inheritance--he
+must, if possible, right him; burning with the sense of injustice--he
+must try to influence and soften him; and--most terrible thought of
+all--he believed in no God; some one must----  The doctor
+paused--nay, what? teach him--impossible!  Argue with him?--probably
+useless; love him, pray, agonise for him--that he must and would do.
+The rest?
+
+He was standing by the open door which led from the house into the
+garden; he saw the grand old cedar at the end of the lawn, standing
+up darkly against the clear sky, the acacia and the beech-trees
+waving in the wind, the standard roses laden with flowers, the
+glorious sunshine flooding all with warmth and brightness.  He heard
+the singing of birds, the low hum of insects, the soft breathing of
+the summer wind among the branches.  A sense of breadth and fulness
+stole over him, it was a healthful morning, and gradually Dr. Tremain
+felt its real influence, it drew him away from the thought of
+weakness and soul-disease to the true health-giver.  Could he doubt
+that through all the changes and chances of Donovan's life He had
+been leading him?  Then that strange and sudden impulse to walk to
+Porthkerran must have been part of the leading.  The doctor accepted
+the responsibility gladly now, as a care doubtless, but as an honour
+and a joy.  And as the free air and light and warmth influenced him
+from without, feeling that he lacked wisdom, he turned to Him who
+"giveth to all men liberally."
+
+While he still stood in the doorway Gladys came to him, her usually
+bright face a little clouded.
+
+"Oh!  I thought you had started on your rounds, papa," she exclaimed,
+brightening at once as she slipped her hand within his arm.  "I've
+come to you in a very bad temper, for Aunt Margaret is here, and she
+is so much surprised at your taking in Mr. Farrant."
+
+"Why is she surprised?" asked the doctor.
+
+"Because you know so little of him.  She thinks it most quixotic of
+you.  I came away at last, she made me so cross."
+
+"You and I believe in something better than chance, don't we,
+Gladys?" said the doctor.  "And if Donovan Farrant was sent to us, as
+I do not doubt he was, our duty is to take care that we are fit to
+keep him with us."
+
+"Fit?" asked Gladys, looking puzzled.
+
+"Gentle and patient and considerate enough to draw him quite in
+amongst us, to make him part of the home.  I will tell you a little
+about him, and then you'll understand me better.  He has had a very
+sad life, he doesn't believe in God, partly, I can't help thinking,
+because he has never come across real Christianity.  He has had great
+temptations, and no friends to help him, only companions whom at last
+he felt obliged to leave, that he might try to keep out of evil, and
+now he is here, ill and poor and I'm afraid very miserable.  I know
+quite well that people will say, as Mrs. Causton has just been
+saying, that it is rash and quixotic to take him into one's own home,
+but, Gladys, I trust all of you too well not to look upon you as
+helps instead of hindrances."
+
+"Do you know, papa, I have seen Mr. Farrant before," said Gladys,
+when her father paused.  "I was sure I knew his face, and last night
+I remembered it was when I was staying with Aunt Margaret a year ago;
+don't you recollect that journey which auntie is always talking
+about, when we were in a carriage with some men playing cards?"
+
+"I remember.  There was only room for you, and one of them got out
+and gave his place to Mrs. Causton."
+
+"Yes, that was Mr. Farrant."
+
+The doctor mused.  In his worst times, then, Donovan had kept a touch
+of chivalry, he had left his favourite pastime to save a stranger
+from a slight annoyance.
+
+"We knew directly he was a gentleman," continued Gladys.  "You can't
+think how different he looked from the men he was with.  I couldn't
+think why he belonged to them, and one specially spoke so horridly to
+him at London Bridge, when we all got out, I fancy because he had
+helped us.  Why was he ever with such people, papa?"
+
+"Because no one else would have anything to do with him, and because
+he was a great card-player; he has given it all up now."
+
+"Oh!  I am so glad!" exclaimed Gladys, "for it was dreadful to watch
+him playing that day, he looked so wonderfully taken up with it, as
+if it were the only thing he cared for.  It must have been very hard
+to him to give it up, though."
+
+"Harder, most likely, than you or I have any idea of," said the
+doctor, musingly.  Then, rousing himself, "And all this time we are
+leaving the mother to Mrs. Causton's tender mercies.  I must go,
+little girl, good-bye.  That story has smoothed your temper, I hope."
+
+Gladys laughed, and ran away to give Jackie his morning lessons,
+while Dr. Tremain made his way to the breakfast-room.
+
+He was not sorry to find Mrs. Causton on the point of leaving, but
+unfortunately his appearance on the scene caused a repetition of all
+her arguments.
+
+"And do you really think it wise to take him in and let him mix with
+your own children--a perfect stranger, a man of whom you know nothing
+but evil?"
+
+"On the contrary," replied the doctor, half inclined to lose his
+temper, "I know a great deal of good about him."
+
+"But it seems so unnecessary," urged Mrs. Causton; "no one in his
+circumstances could object to being taken to a hospital; and when he
+comes out, there are plenty of societies which would gladly take him
+in hand.  There are so many societies for young men, you know."
+
+"My dear Mrs. Causton"--the doctor spoke almost fiercely--"what the
+poor fellow wants is a _home_, not a society; he wants to be treated
+as a son, not as a case.  I don't mean that societies are not useful
+enough sometimes, but I do think we are too ready to shunt on to them
+all that is not easy, self-indulgent, conventional charity.  Look at
+the good Samaritan now--himself, by the way, an infidel and
+outcast--_he_ did things all round; no passing on to committees and
+societies there, no holding at arm's length lest the poor fellow
+should stain his garments.  He put himself to some
+inconvenience--perhaps to some risk, and gave the wounded man his own
+beast."
+
+"Of course no one disputes that the parable is a great example," said
+Mrs. Causton, "an example that we should all copy; but still in this
+case----"
+
+"You would have me enact the priest and Levite," interposed the
+doctor, "or pass on to some blundering committee for probing and
+examining and questioning a man who can scarcely bear to be touched.
+I know quite well that you would have most of the world on your side,
+for the good Samaritan style of giving is out of fashion now; we like
+to ride on in state and fling subscriptions here and there.  We don't
+like the trouble or risk of actually dismounting and walking on foot;
+it isn't political economy."
+
+"You may be right," said Mrs. Causton, half convinced; "and yet, for
+the sake of Gladys specially, is it wise and prudent?  I don't want
+to seem intrusive, but one cannot help seeing that there are very
+grave objections to such an intimacy for her."
+
+No one spoke for some minutes.  This view of the matter had certainly
+not occurred to Dr. Tremain, and he was bound to own that there was
+some truth in it.  Was he putting his child into a wrong position?
+And yet could he, for the sake of a distant and merely possible
+contingency, give up his guest?  His perplexity did not last long; he
+was not worldly-wise, he was not prudent, and, in defiance of the
+possible ill, he held closely to the present good, trusting to God,
+and feeling perfect confidence in Gladys.  He had, moreover, with the
+strange insight of humility, learnt enough of Donovan's real self to
+trust in him too; the banker had exclaimed at the honour of an
+ex-card-sharper, the doctor felt inexplicable yet entire confidence
+in the truth of his patient.
+
+"Some risk and trouble and difficulty I owned to in the Samaritan's
+giving," he said at last.  "I do not think it a risk which one ought
+to shrink from.  Were you ever in the Cluny Museum, Mrs. Causton?"
+
+"Never."
+
+"I remember two very striking representations there of Prudence with
+her hands tied, and Charity with open arms."
+
+Mrs. Causton, not caring to discuss the question any more, soon took
+leave.  The doctor was glad to be alone with his wife.
+
+"You have not changed your mind?" he asked.  "You are willing to be
+the open-armed Charity?"
+
+"Yes," she replied, quietly, "I am willing."  But there was some
+effort in her voice, for she thought of the possible sorrow which
+this charity might bring to Gladys.
+
+"Then, having made up our minds, let us live in the present, and put
+away from us this idea, which I am half sorry has been suggested at
+all," said the doctor.  "No one will put any nonsense into Gladys'
+head, and the friendship of a good sensible girl will be a capital
+thing for Donovan."
+
+Mrs. Tremain looked up at her husband and smiled.
+
+"How soon you have taken that poor boy into your heart of hearts!
+Oh!  Tom, how far I am behind you; a dozen selfish considerations
+have come into my head in the last five minutes.  I'm afraid I've
+little but pity for him."
+
+"Then, dear, go and spend an hour in his room, and I'll undertake to
+say that he will stand second only to Dick and Jackie in your heart
+when you come out again."
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+IN A HOME.
+
+It is human character or developed humanity ... that conducts us to
+our notion of the Character Divine...  In proportion as the mysteries
+of man's goodness unfold themselves to us, in that proportion do we
+obtain an insight into God's.
+
+_Essay on Blanco White_.  J. D. MOZLEY.
+
+  But the love slid into my soul like light.
+                _Olrig Grange_.  WALTER C. SMITH.
+
+
+Donovan looked up with a smile of welcome as Mrs. Tremain came into
+the room.  He had been in too much pain to notice her much when she
+had visited him earlier in the morning, but now he was comparatively
+at ease, and was lying in listless quiet with Waif on the bed beside
+him licking his hand.
+
+Mrs. Tremain was not fond of dogs; she was even a little afraid of
+them, and she had a very natural feminine dislike to seeing a fox
+terrier lying on a clean counterpane.  Donovan divined this at once.
+
+"He oughtn't to be up here, I know," he began, deprecatingly, "but I
+can't keep him down, poor fellow! he's always miserable when I'm ill,
+and the worst of it is he won't obey orders, but thinks it his turn
+to be master."
+
+"Poor dog!" said Mrs. Tremain, softening towards the offender and
+venturing to pat him.  "He does seem very unhappy about you; it's
+really wonderful the amount of expression which a dog can put into
+his face."
+
+"Yes, Waif and I can talk together quite easily; I don't know what I
+should have done without him, specially when I was laid up; he was
+often the only nurse I had."
+
+Then a question of Mrs. Tremain's led to an account of his wretched
+winter, to a discussion of illness in general, to an amusing, though
+to Mrs. Tremain a somewhat sad description of his various nurses,
+including poor old Mrs. Doery, both in her character of guardian of
+the sick and instructor of youth.
+
+"I have not been used to your kind of nursing," he added, after a
+pause; "you must remember that, and not let me take up your time; I
+am afraid this dependence will unfit me for the tussle with the world
+which I must go back to as soon as my ankle is all right."
+
+"You can hardly help being dependent when you can't move," said Mrs.
+Tremain, smiling.
+
+"No, but it's a training in patience to be helpless and to submit to
+being muddled, whereas to lie still and be spoilt, humoured, waited
+on, and amused must surely be demoralising, too pleasant and unusual
+to fit one for another plunge into the prickles of life."
+
+"Only that life, however hard, can't be all prickles," said Mrs.
+Tremain.  "Don't you think a little spoiling, as you call it, is
+everyone's due at one time or another?  From your own account you
+have had to 'rough it' a good deal, and this perhaps is your time for
+trying dependence without all the discomforts you now associate with
+it.  Besides, I daresay you have had your share of waiting on other
+people, and know that it is the pleasantest work in the world."
+
+Donovan's face changed, and for some minutes he did not speak.  Mrs.
+Tremain saw that her words must have called up some painful
+remembrance, and Waif too understood perfectly, for he sprang up with
+his peculiar low whine and began to lick his master's face.  What
+could it be?  What painful chord had she unknowingly touched?
+
+A violent start from Donovan caused Waif to jump down from the
+pillow, and Mrs. Tremain to return from her musing.
+
+"What is it?" she asked.
+
+"I fancied I heard a little child's voice," he said, rather faintly.
+
+"I expect it is Nesta; she is playing in the garden," said Mrs.
+Tremain.
+
+He did not answer for some minutes, but lay with closed eyes and a
+strangely rigid face, the only movement being in the hand Waif was
+licking, which was clenched and unclenched convulsively.  At last,
+shifting his position a little, he looked up again and said,
+hurriedly,
+
+"Will you let me see her?  I am very fond of children."
+
+His voice more than anything told of the severe struggle he had
+passed through, but, though Mrs. Tremain doubted whether he were fit
+for it, she did not like to refuse his request.  She went to the
+French window and called the little girl from the lawn.
+
+Four-year-old Nesta came trotting in gleefully, her little rosy face
+shaded by a white sun hat, her pinafore full of daisies.
+
+"This is your youngest nurse," said Mrs. Tremain, leading her up to
+the bed.
+
+Nesta looked half timidly at the invalid visitor whom she had heard
+of; but the moment she caught sight of Waif, all her shyness
+vanished, and she fairly clapped her hands.
+
+"Oh! mother, mother, what a dear little dog!  Is he doin' to stay?"
+
+"Yes, he has come for a long visit," said Mrs. Tremain, lifting her
+up to the pillow beside Donovan at his special request.  Waif allowed
+himself to be patted and caressed, and played at "trust and paid for"
+obediently, but he was too low-spirited about his master to show
+himself off well, and soon crept away from the little girl to the
+other side of the bed, where he lay with his sad brown eyes fixed on
+the invalid.
+
+Then Nesta turned her attention to the new visitor, her shyness
+speedily passing off.
+
+"How drave you look!" she exclaimed, after scrutinizing his face for
+a minute or two.
+
+Mrs. Tremain and Donovan both laughed, and then the daisies tumbled
+out of the pinafore, and Nesta, being reminded by the sight of them
+of daisy-chains which were to have been made, set to work busily,
+chattering in her quaint unrestrained way meanwhile.
+
+Donovan had won her heart--as he invariably did win the hearts of
+little children--and the daisy-chain which was to have been for the
+favourite doll was now destined for him.
+
+"It will look very pretty, you know, on your white night-down," she
+said, with her irresistible baby laugh.
+
+Presently, with a puzzled face, came one of her abrupt questions.
+
+"What's 'ou name?"
+
+But Donovan did not hear, for he was looking abstractedly at her
+bright eyes, trying to see in them some likeness to Dot.  And they
+were a little like, for, although grey, they were in a transition
+state, and there was a peculiar shade of brown in the iris which
+somehow made them like Dot's clear hazel.  Moreover, they had in them
+the same innocence, and even in a slight degree the same look of
+heaven-taught love.
+
+She repeated her question imperatively.
+
+"What's 'ou name?"
+
+He came back to the present with an effort, and answered, gravely,
+but gently,
+
+"You must call me Dono."
+
+Nesta softly repeated the unusual name, lingering over it half
+doubtfully.
+
+"Don--o, Mr. Dono."
+
+It was the first time he had heard his childname since little Dot's
+death.  He caught Nesta in his arms and kissed her passionately.
+
+"Oh! oh! oh!" shrieked Nesta, thinking it the beginning of a game.
+"The drate bear's dot me; he's doin' to eat me."
+
+"Not too noisy, my little girl," said Mrs. Tremain, lifting her away.
+Then, noticing the deathly paleness of Donovan's face, she hastened
+to add, "I think Mr. Dono has had enough of you to-day.  Mother will
+take you into the garden."
+
+"Dood-bye, Mr. Dono, dood-bye," said Nesta, as she was carried off:
+but he did not answer.
+
+Mrs. Tremain was a few minutes out of the room; when she came back
+she found Waif in great distress, for what had come to his master he
+did not know.  Donovan had buried his face in the pillow, and, almost
+for the first time in his life, was crying like a child.
+
+Four years ago Mrs. Tremain had had all her sympathy called out for
+the reserved undemonstrative stranger whom she had visited in his
+bereavement; love and tact had given her power then, they gave her
+power now.  She listened as only a mother could have listened to the
+story of little Dot, gently drawing Donovan on by her perfect
+sympathy, until there was little that she did not know of those past
+times.  How it all began, how it was possible for her to win him to
+speak the name that for months had not passed his lips, cannot be
+written or explained here.  But those who have known a real mother
+will understand at once, and those who deem it impossible must be
+"Donovans" themselves, to whom sooner or later like sympathy will be
+given if it is needed.
+
+And yet, in spite of Mrs. Tremain's present feelings, she had at
+first not been without a certain shrinking from Donovan--from close
+knowledge of a professed atheist.  Away from him this shrinking had
+increased.  It was not until she was brought face to face with his
+individuality, till he was essentially Donovan to her, not merely a
+strange visitor, that it was possible for love to take its right
+place.  But her husband's prophecy was true, and before the day was
+over she had quite taken the invalid guest into her mother's heart,
+and only loved him better for his poverty of soul and body.
+
+Class judgment, sweeping condemnation, are for the world,--its ways
+of dealing with its outcasts; and though the ways are neither good
+for condemners nor condemned, they will probably last through this
+age.  But there are a few people who are bold enough to defy the
+world's opinion, and to set at naught the world's ways, because they
+have the way of Christ ever before them, because they love the
+ignorant and sinning first, and by reason of that love hate only the
+ignorance and sin that have led them astray.
+
+Even gentle and loving Mrs. Tremain had hitherto gone with the world
+in thinking of atheists as a class to be shunned and avoided, rather
+than as so many members of the great human brotherhood who had fallen
+into a grievous mistake, and to whom all possible justice, and love,
+and brotherliness must be shown.  Mrs. Causton, good as she was,
+still failed to see the need of this.
+
+"If a man voluntarily cuts himself off from religion, how is it
+possible to treat him as a brother?" she argued.
+
+Mrs. Tremain, being but newly persuaded herself of the possibility,
+did not answer, but looked to her husband.
+
+And the doctor answered in his quiet way:
+
+"I never could see the difficulty of that; for the Fatherhood of God
+seems to me to answer it all.  Universal fatherhood causes universal
+brotherhood, and the one is as really unalterable as the other.  That
+we do not see it to be so is surely our own fault.  As a rule,
+though, it is only those who believe that God ever 'gives up' souls,
+who treat men as outcasts.  They are quite logical in doing so.  But,
+once believe that 'lost' means 'not found yet,' that the Good
+Shepherd seeks the sheep 'until He finds it,' that the Fatherhood is
+for ever and ever--and then the fact that your brother is mistaken
+will only make you love him, and try to show your love to him the
+more."
+
+Mrs. Causton was silent, for Dr. Tremain had touched on a subject
+upon which they had long ago agreed to differ.  She knew she was one
+of the "logical" people, and yet, in her heart, she half inclined to
+the doctor's loving breadth.  She also began to revolve in her mind
+schemes for "converting" the stranger.
+
+Meanwhile, apart from all discussions, and shielded from Mrs.
+Causton's well-meaning but somewhat mistaken schemes by his continued
+imprisonment, Donovan spent the most peaceful week of his life.
+There was something indescribably restful in the atmosphere of
+Trenant, a refinement about the daily small-talk, an entire absence
+of that perpetual sitting in judgment on neighbours and
+acquaintances, which goes far to make the conversation in many
+families, a peculiar quickness and readiness to perceive humour, and
+a perfect understanding of that delicious family teazing which is
+certainly the salt of home life.  Though prevented by his invalidism
+from coming into the very centre of all this, Donovan yet felt much
+of it in his sick-room.  Of Gladys he saw little, but Mrs. Tremain
+was constantly with him.  Jackie and Nesta were always ready to
+enliven him when he grew dull, and the doctor gave him all his spare
+time, bringing his microscope, or his fossils for arranging and
+sorting, or any of his hundred and one naturalist hobbies, and
+turning the sick-room into something between a museum and an untidy
+workshop.
+
+Donovan's love deepened day by day, he could have lain in contented
+silence for hours, just watching the doctor at his work, and though
+they generally had plenty of animated talk together, it was no
+necessity to him.  The delight of knowing any man whom he could
+absolutely and unreservedly trust was in itself absorbing, and there
+was much besides.  Mrs. Tremain, whom he admired and loved scarcely
+less, and to whom he talked more, influenced him in a way quite as
+much as her husband.  Having once spoken to her of Dot, he now
+continually returned to the subject, for he felt there was not the
+danger in thinking of the past that there had once been, and daring
+to let it all come back to him, he was able to realise that memory is
+indeed a priceless possession.  Then, too, in this week there came to
+him, almost for the first time, a flickering shadow of doubt in one
+of his most positive convictions.  He had looked on Christianity as a
+creed which could not be connected with any practical kindliness of
+life; it had seemed to him merely a sort of _sauve qui peut_.  Now at
+Trenant there was none of the conventional religion to which he was
+only too well accustomed, but he found himself constantly reminded,
+in the small concerns of daily life, of that historical Christ for
+whose character he had conceived the greatest admiration.  Little or
+nothing was _said_, but Donovan felt that he was in a perfectly new
+atmosphere.  Whether these Tremains were living under a delusion, of
+course he could not say; he did not wish even to think just now.
+
+Strange, dreamy, delicious days! often afterwards in the heat and
+struggle of life he looked back to them, and always associated with
+them in his mind were snatches of "In Memoriam," which, in spite of
+his assurances of an utterly unpoetical temperament, Mrs. Tremain
+read to him.  He had spoken quite truly, there were very few poems
+which could touch him, but the "living poem" of childhood, and this
+one great song of immortality, took possession of his very being.
+The thin green volume was always near his bed--he soon knew most of
+it by heart.
+
+Meanwhile, Dr. Tremain, seeing that his patient grew stronger in body
+and evidently happier in mind, began to dread more and more the
+broaching of that distasteful subject which was constantly in his
+thoughts.  He was of course, however, too wise and too true a friend
+to put it off long; and at the end of the week, when his patient was
+well enough to be moved to a sofa and be wheeled into the
+breakfast-room, he made an opportunity for the private talk which
+must reveal to Donovan all his step-father's treachery.
+
+The sofa had been placed by the open window, and Donovan was
+enjoying, as only an invalid can enjoy, the delights of a thorough
+change; his face was particularly bright and contented when Dr.
+Tremain came in from his afternoon visits in Porthkerran, with his
+mind made up to his disagreeable task; it was therefore all the
+harder to speak, but the doctor knew he had no right to delay any
+longer, and sitting down near his guest he began with but little
+preamble.
+
+"Are you up to a business talk this afternoon?  If so, I want to
+speak to you about a matter which has been troubling me very much for
+the last week--since the night you came, in fact."
+
+"A talk about your business, I suppose," said Donovan, "for I, as I
+told you, am simply penniless, so my affairs don't admit of much
+discussion."
+
+"You are mistaken," said the doctor.  "You ought not to be penniless,
+and it is solely with regard to your affairs that I have been so
+troubled.  I should have spoken to you before, but I waited till you
+were stronger."
+
+Donovan looked perplexed; the doctor continued:
+
+"You told me the other day that your father's will left everything,
+unconditionally, to your mother, did you not?"
+
+"Certainly, or else I could not be in my present straits."
+
+"And you ought not to be," said the doctor, unable to speak as
+quietly as he wished.  "Donovan, before Colonel Farrant's death he
+made and I witnessed another will, by which the property was left to
+you, your mother of course being----"
+
+His sentence was never finished, for Donovan started up, his face
+white and set, but with a sort of fierce light about it.
+
+"What?" he gasped, "that villain destroyed it, then!  Tell me
+more--quickly--who witnessed it? when was it made?--I recollect
+nothing.  Are you sure--_sure_?"
+
+"That it was legally correct, I am certain," said the doctor; "but do
+try to quiet yourself or I shall never be able to explain it to you."
+
+"I am quiet," said Donovan, lying back again with a marble face.  "Go
+on, please; only let me hear all--and I'll not interrupt."
+
+"The afternoon your father died," resumed the doctor, "I came, as you
+know, about three o'clock to visit him.  He was very much worried,
+for Mr. Turner the lawyer, whom he specially wished to see, was away,
+and he told me that knowing his danger, that he might really die at
+any minute, he was anxious to make his will at once, so that all
+might be left straight for you.  He explained to me that his former
+will had been made just after his marriage, and that he thought it
+wiser to make a fresh one.  Of course worry was the very worst thing
+for him, and, in order that he might be at rest about it, I suggested
+that he should make his own will temporarily, till a lawyer was at
+hand, and that seemed to relieve him at once.  Do you remember that I
+came to the head of the stairs and called you?"
+
+"Perfectly," replied Donovan, speaking with difficulty.  "You asked
+for a sheet of writing-paper.  I brought it to you."
+
+"Yes, and on that paper, at Colonel Farrant's direction, I wrote
+words to the effect that he desired to bequeath all his property to
+you.  That an ample allowance--I cannot recall the exact amount--was
+to be made to Mrs. Farrant, and that Mr. Ellis Farrant was to be the
+sole executor.  I remember he hesitated some time about that, and
+tried to think of some one else who could also be executor; he said
+that the second named in his former will had lately died.  Thinking
+it, however, only a temporary thing, he left Mr. Ellis Farrant's name
+alone."
+
+"The witnesses?" asked Donovan.
+
+"Myself and a servant, Mary Pengelly, who is dead."
+
+"Dead!" he exclaimed, a dark shade passing over his face.  "Then it's
+all up with me; the will can't be proved."
+
+"I half fear not," said the doctor, "though it seems not so
+impossible as I at first thought.  Directly I learnt your name and
+saw what must have happened I wrote to a solicitor I know in town,
+and gave him all the circumstances--of course, without names.  He
+allowed that a case might be made for you--such a thing has been done
+before now.  Your recollection of having fetched the sheet of paper
+might go for something, but the cost of a lawsuit would be enormous,
+and the result, of course, doubtful.  I blame myself very much now
+for not having taken steps to see that the will was proved.  A year
+or two afterwards, when we were in town, I did half think of it when
+I happened to pass Somerset House; but some chance meeting prevented
+me.  If I had only had more insight!  But I never dreamt of
+suspecting treachery in Mr. Farrant."
+
+"No, he is too bland, too clever, too consummate a hypocrite!"
+replied Donovan, bitterly.  "No one suspects him.  He took the will
+from you, I suppose, and showed all proper feeling, and none of his
+blackguardism."
+
+"I gave him the will directly after your father's funeral.  He took
+it quite unconcernedly; I noticed nothing the least remarkable in his
+manner.  If only some one else had been present!  If only I'd had the
+sense to be more cautious!"
+
+"Don't blame yourself," said Donovan, his face softening at once.
+"That would be just the one thing I couldn't bear.  It was no manner
+of fault of yours; if it had been, it would be easy to put up with--I
+could endure anything from you.  But that traitor, that villain, who
+all the time is looking as smug and proper as can be, who gives my
+money to chanties, who makes merry in my house, who goes to church
+and calls himself a "miserable sinner," and asks for mercy that he
+may go on comfortably!  How can you expect me to think religion
+anything but a miserable sham, the veriest farce?"
+
+There was a minute's silence when he paused, and, before the doctor
+had ventured any answer to this very natural outburst, the door
+opened, and Gladys came in, her hands full of blush-roses and seringa.
+
+"I have brought you some flowers," she said, crossing the room to the
+sofa.  "You must not be cheated of your daily nosegay because you are
+getting better."
+
+Nothing could have quieted Donovan so effectually as this
+interruption; he watched in silence while Gladys arranged the
+flowers.  Very pure and fresh and flower-like she looked herself; she
+fascinated him utterly.
+
+When she left the room again he was the first to speak.
+
+"Forgive me for what I said just now," he began, looking at the
+doctor with the light of indignation in his eyes softened down to
+sadness.  "I was very wrong to mock at the religion you believe in.
+This last week you have almost made me think there may, after all, be
+such a thing as Christianity, I believe for you, at any rate, there
+is such a thing.  But the thought of Ellis Farrant made me mad!  You
+must remember it is only that kind of religion I have met with till
+now--that Injustice and loathing and discourtesy are, with scarcely
+an exception, all that I've received from religious people."
+
+"God forgive them!" exclaimed the doctor.  Then, after a pause, "But
+what I can't understand is the systematic way in which Mr. Farrant
+must have managed everything.  A sudden act of passion I can
+understand, but deliberately to plan and calculate another's ruin----"
+
+Donovan's face suddenly crimsoned.
+
+"Stop!" he cried.  "Don't say you can't have pity on such meanness.
+Remember what I used to be!"
+
+"Your circumstances go far to excuse you," were the words which
+trembled on the doctor's lips, but he wisely kept them back, and did
+not break in upon the perfectly natural and right shame by any
+speech.  Instead he just put his strong, firm hand on Donovan's.
+
+After a long silence Donovan looked up once more.  He seemed to have
+mastered the situation now, all indignation and agitation of manner
+had left him, and Dr. Tremain was struck by the sense and coolness
+with which he spoke.
+
+"The next thing to be thought of is, what can we do?  A lawsuit seems
+out of the question, but I don't think that for that reason I need
+sit still and do nothing to right myself.  Shall I send a letter to
+Ellis Farrant, and just tell him that I have learnt all from you?"
+
+"I think, if you don't object," said the doctor, "it would be much
+better for me to go to Oakdene Manor and see Mr. Farrant.  A letter
+can be simply ignored, but if I can once see him I shall at least get
+some definite answer from him.  Will you consent to that?"
+
+"It would of course be the best chance for me," said Donovan.  "Only
+I can't endure that you should have the trouble and annoyance."
+
+"You think it is all like a game of 'neighbour, I'm come to torment
+you,'" replied the doctor, laughing.  "You having come to me, and I
+being on my way to Mr. Ellis Farrant!"
+
+"Well, I've given you nothing but trouble yet," said Donovan.  "And
+this horrid business will hinder you and take you away from home."
+
+"My dear Donovan," said the doctor, still laughing, "you are so
+exceedingly unlikely ever to be a busybody that I'll venture to give
+you this maxim, 'Thy business is mine, and mine thine, if there's the
+ghost of a chance that we can either of us help the other.'  Besides,
+have I not told you that we don't allow units in Cornwall?  We're a
+joint-stock company, and as long as you are here you must put up with
+all the seeming eccentricities of the 'one and all' system."
+
+The doctor being pretty free that week, it was arranged that he
+should go to Greyshot the following day, in the hope of getting an
+interview with Ellis Farrant.  As soon as all was settled he left the
+room to speak to his wife, and to make arrangements for his absence,
+while Donovan lay in what seemed almost strange calmness.
+
+He had learnt that the Manor was his by right, that there was but a
+small chance of his getting it; he had also learnt that his
+step-father's injustice had been far greater than he had hitherto
+imagined; but then the repentance for his own past was growing more
+real and strong each day, and his belief in goodness and purity and
+love was struggling into life--his patience was perhaps, after all,
+not so strange!
+
+In the midst of this home, with its love, and peace, and breadth of
+sympathy, his frozen heart was expanding.  That very afternoon he had
+taken the first step towards forgiveness, he had placed himself on a
+level with his step-father, had not shrunk from admitting that he too
+had offended in much the same way.  And strong in his possession of
+love--this new strange family love--he waited for what the future
+should bring, while in the present all went on quietly, the very
+sounds of life seeming full of peace.  The gardener mowing the lawn,
+the birds singing in the shrubbery, the children laughing at their
+play, and from the next room Gladys' voice singing as she worked; he
+did not know her song, but the refrain reached him through the open
+window.
+
+  "And truth thee shall deliver,
+  It is no drede!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+OAKDENE MANOR.
+
+  Oh, righteous doom, that they who make
+    Pleasure their only end,
+  Ordering the whole life for its sake,
+    Miss that whereto they tend.
+
+  While they who bid stern duty lead,
+    Content to follow, they,
+  Of duty only taking heed,
+    Find pleasure by the way.
+                            ARCHBISHOP TRENCH.
+
+
+For more than a year Ellis Farrant had reigned supreme at Oakdene
+Manor, but, in spite of every effort to enjoy himself and stifle his
+conscience, he had been exceedingly miserable.  In the winter after
+Mrs. Doery's return from nursing Donovan, he worked himself up into
+such a state of nervous terror that, had he possessed a trifle more
+resolution, he would probably have confessed his crime and sought
+Donovan out at Monaco.  But he was weak, deplorably weak, and so he
+lived on at the Manor, a misery to himself and to everyone else.  He
+interrogated the housekeeper closely as to his step-son's means of
+living, asked her endless questions about him, and received somewhat
+curt answers, for Doery felt bound to take the part of her
+ne'er-do-weel.  Moreover she brought him back all the money which he
+had given her to use for the invalid, with an assurance that Mr.
+Donovan would not touch it, had been very angry with her for trying
+to persuade him to pay the doctor's bill with it, and had said that
+Mr. Farrant must salve his conscience in some other way.
+
+Poor Ellis! it really had relieved him a little to send those two
+ten-pound notes to his victim, and to have them thrown back in his
+face seemed hard; they made him feel uncomfortable for days.  At last
+he put them in the church plate and was at ease again.
+
+But his remorse having only reached the stage of desiring the
+personal comfort of restitution, it was scarcely wonderful that when
+a chance of honest confession was given him he rejected it.  He cared
+nothing for Donovan, he only wanted to enjoy the sense of innocence
+again, to escape from the horrible dread of future punishment which
+perpetually haunted his poor, selfish soul.  Naturally enough remorse
+on such a basis was like the house built upon the sand, and when, one
+afternoon in July, a card was brought into the smoking-room bearing
+the words--"Dr. Tremain, Trenant, Porthkerran," Ellis, half crazy
+with terror, was driven to take refuge in cunning.
+
+The doctor meanwhile waited in the drawing-room, involuntarily taking
+stock of this place which by right belonged to his patient, and
+struggling to keep his indignation within bounds, that he might be
+cool enough for the coming interview.  But he was not at all prepared
+for the manner of his reception.
+
+The door opened, the master of the house came forward with
+outstretched hand, an easy-mannered country gentleman, full of genial
+hospitality; this was the character which Ellis desired to assume,
+and he acted his part splendidly.
+
+"I think I have had the pleasure of meeting you before, Dr. Tremain,"
+he said, in a hearty voice.  "Delighted to see you, sir; I assure you
+we have none of us forgotten your courtesy at the time of my poor
+cousin's death.  Are you staying in the neighbourhood?"
+
+"I came solely for the purpose of seeing you," said the doctor,
+gravely.  "Mr. Farrant, you seem to have some remembrance of our
+meeting at Porthkerran, after Colonel Farrant's death.  Excuse the
+seeming impertinence, but have you no remembrance of the Colonel's
+will which I then placed in your hands?"
+
+There was not a trace, not the smallest sign of guilt in Ellis's
+face.  He raised his eyebrows, and for a moment stared blankly at the
+doctor.
+
+"My good sir, I am quite ready to excuse all seeming impertinence,
+but I am utterly at a loss to understand your meaning."
+
+"Your memory must be capricious," said the doctor.  "Do you recollect
+your cousin's funeral?"
+
+"Certainly," replied Ellis, with all due dignity.
+
+"Do you recollect that, after the funeral, we returned to the inn,
+and that I then gave you a sheet of paper, on which Colonel Farrant
+had made his will, under circumstances which I described to you?"
+
+A light as of dawning perception began to steal over Ellis's face.
+
+"Ah! now I know to what you refer!" he exclaimed.  "Forgive my
+apparent forgetfulness.  I assure you it was not forgetfulness of
+your services, but merely of the business transaction.  Yes, I
+remember perfectly now.  It was a codicil, which, I believe, you
+yourself witnessed, and in which my cousin left a legacy to a comrade
+of his out in India."
+
+"Mr. Farrant, seeing that I wrote the will from the Colonel's
+dictation, you must at once see that it is useless to evade the truth
+in this way," said Dr. Tremain, controlling his temper with
+difficulty: "The will directed that this property should be
+bequeathed to Donovan Farrant, the Colonel's only son; and I am here
+to-day to demand of you why he is not in possession of it."
+
+"My dear sir, you are labouring under a most extraordinary delusion,"
+said Ellis, with a smile.  "You are most entirely mistaken.  But,
+putting that aside, I really may have the right to ask why you
+intrude into my personal concerns.  You are almost a stranger to me,
+and, though I shall be delighted to show you any hospitality in my
+power, yet, sir, I think you must allow that to establish an
+inquisition with regard to my private affairs, is, to say the least
+of it, unusual.  As the proverb has it, you know, 'An Englishman's
+house is his castle,' and though----"
+
+"If it _were_ your house," interrupted the doctor, "I should not have
+intruded myself upon you, but I come now as the representative of the
+right owner, who lies ill at my own home."
+
+"Oh! the mystery begins to explain itself then," said Ellis.  "I am
+exceedingly sorry for you, Dr. Tremain, but I see now that you have
+been imposed upon by that miserable step-son of mine.  I suppose
+Donovan has been fabricating this tale?  He is a very clever fellow,
+and no doubt his story was plausible enough."
+
+"You know perfectly well, Mr. Farrant, that Donovan was utterly
+ignorant of the true facts of the case, and that it was he who learnt
+them from me, not I from him.  Since, however, you so wilfully refuse
+to acknowledge what you must be aware I know perfectly well, may I
+ask you to produce this codicil which you speak of, or to prove to me
+that this legacy was ever paid."
+
+"It never was paid," said Ellis, coolly.  "I was, as you remember,
+named as sole executor, and of course put myself at once in
+communication with this Indian friend.  I can't even recall the
+fellow's name now.  Perhaps you can, having written the codicil.
+But, poor man, he died of cholera a week before the Colonel's death.
+The codicil was of course worthless then, and was, I believe,
+destroyed.  So you see I cannot offer you more proof.  Now, if you
+will excuse me, where is the proof of your assertion?  Where is your
+second witness?"
+
+"The second witness of Colonel Farrant's will--Mary Pengelly--is
+dead," said the doctor; "otherwise, of course, legal proceedings
+would have been taken against you."
+
+Ellis, immensely relieved, burst out laughing.
+
+"'Pon my word, Dr. Tremain, this really is a most ridiculous affair.
+You, with no manner of proof, expect me to believe your assertion,
+and I am in the unfortunate dilemma of having nothing to convince you
+of my assertion.  We might go on arguing till Doomsday, and be no
+nearer any agreement."
+
+"Yes, I see perfectly well that discussion is useless," said the
+doctor, very gravely, "but it was my duty to let you know that your
+doings were discovered.  It is also my duty to tell you that Donovan
+is utterly destitute, and that if something is not----"
+
+He was interrupted by a fresh voice.
+
+"Who is speaking of Donovan?" exclaimed Adela Farrant, suddenly
+appearing at the open window.  She was in her shady hat and gardening
+gloves, and in passing along the terrace she had caught the name
+which during the last year had passed into silence like that of
+little Dot.
+
+"This gentleman has come to see me on business, Adela; I must beg
+that you do not interrupt us," said Ellis, half forgetting his
+_rôle_.  But Adela was not to be sent away like a child, and her
+brother's words only made her the more sure that the strange
+gentleman had brought news of Donovan.
+
+"How is my cousin Donovan?" she asked, boldly, turning to Dr.
+Tremain.  "I am sure I heard you speaking of him."
+
+"Yes, you are quite right," replied Dr. Tremain, rising from his
+seat.  "I was telling Mr. Farrant that Donovan is now staying with me
+at Porthkerran, that he is utterly without means of subsistence, and
+that he has had a hard struggle to live honestly; he would have got
+on well enough if his health had not given way.  I have been urging
+Mr. Farrant to be just to him; but I fear with little success."
+
+"Wait a minute," said Adela, with her usual prompt decision; "wait
+just one minute."  She hurried across the room to the window, and
+called, clearly and unhesitatingly, "Nora!  Nora!"
+
+"I do wish, Adela, you would be more careful!" exclaimed Ellis.  "It
+will agitate Nora dreadfully to hear about Donovan."
+
+"Let it," said Adela, scornfully.  "She ought to be agitated."
+
+"I shall not attempt to resume our discussion," said Dr. Tremain,
+coldly, when Adela went out on to the terrace to meet Mrs. Farrant.
+"Only I hope you understand the awful responsibility which you incur."
+
+Ellis would have replied, but at that minute Adela returned with her
+sister-in-law.
+
+Time had dealt kindly with Mrs. Farrant, she was still pretty,
+languid, gentle, and lady-like; but there was a shade of sadness in
+her face now which had never been seen in past days.  Considering the
+unusual circumstances, her manner was marvellously composed, however,
+as she gave her hand to the doctor.
+
+"Miss Farrant tells me you have news of my son," she said, in her
+calm voice.  "I hope he is well?"
+
+Dr. Tremain was so annoyed at the apparent want of feeling that he
+answered, almost sharply,
+
+"No, madam, he is anything but well; twice this year he has been at
+death's door.  He came to me a week ago penniless and half starving."
+
+The next minute he almost regretted that he had spoken with such
+impetuosity, for he saw that after all she had something of a
+mother's heart hidden away in folds upon folds of self-love.  Her
+eyes dilated.
+
+"No, no!" she cried.  "You must be mistaken; it surely can't be my
+son!  Donovan ill--Donovan starving!  Oh!  Ellis, you must have pity
+on him--you must help him!"
+
+"My dear Nora, I have offered to help him before now, and he flung
+the money back in my face," said Ellis.
+
+"You must remember that in the last week his position towards you is
+changed," said Dr. Tremain.  "That you can leave him in his present
+straits without help I simply will not believe."
+
+Mrs. Farrant began to question the doctor about her son's illness,
+allowing more and more of her real love to come to the surface, while
+Adela went over to her brother and began to remonstrate with him.
+
+"Now, Ellis, do this boy justice, and make him a proper yearly
+allowance," she urged.  "Give him his £300 a year, and perhaps in
+time I may come to respect you again.  You can't say now that you
+sent him off in a sudden fit of passion, for here is a chance for you
+to set all right, and, if you don't take it, you'll be the most
+mean-spirited of mortals."
+
+Ellis smiled a grey smile.  How little Adela knew what setting all
+right would involve!  However, he would do something for his
+step-son, only not too much, for he had a selfish dread lest Donovan
+might possibly use the money against him, be tempted to go to law
+about this will, or in some way make life uncomfortable to him.  So
+with pitiable meanness he scoffed at Adela's £300, and wrote instead
+an agreement by which he bound himself to pay to his step-son £50
+half-yearly.
+
+He gave the promise to Dr. Tremain with as condescending a manner as
+if he had been bestowing a princely favour, all the time knowing
+perfectly well that the very chair he sat on belonged to Donovan.
+Dr. Tremain took the paper without a word, and turned to Mrs. Farrant.
+
+"I cannot say that this will convince Donovan that there is such a
+thing as truth and justice in the world, but it will do him some good
+to know that he still has your love, Mrs. Farrant.  You will send him
+some message, I hope."
+
+Her tears were flowing fast, but she made an effort to check them.
+
+"Tell him I know I failed when we were together, that it was my
+fault; and oh! do be good to him, Dr. Tremain--make him understand
+that I do love him."
+
+"I think that message will help him on," said the doctor, warmly.
+"It is very good of you to entrust it to me.  For the rest, I can
+only say that I will treat him like my own son."
+
+With that he rose to go, but he had scarcely left the house when he
+was called back.  Mrs. Farrant hastened towards him.
+
+"One moment, Dr. Tremain--will you take this to Donovan?"  She drew a
+ring from her finger.  "Ask him if he still loves me to wear it; tell
+him how I have longed to hear of him, how thankful I am for your
+visit to-day."
+
+"And as for me," exclaimed Adela, coming forward and putting her hand
+in the arm of her sister-in-law.  "Please tell Donovan that I, being
+a free agent, shall write to him now that I know his whereabouts.  I
+don't see why a freak of my brother's should come between us, and I
+shall expect him to answer me for the sake of old times."
+
+And so ended Dr. Tremain's visit.  He left the Manor with mingled
+feelings; in one way he had received more than he expected, in
+another less.  But the atmosphere of the place was unspeakably
+wretched, and the doctor was long in losing his keen impression of
+it.  A loveless home, a treacherous, scheming man for the head of the
+house, his languid wife, his rather flippant sister; among such
+influences as these Donovan had grown up.  And yet in every one there
+was some good, entirely latent good in Ellis certainly, but in Mrs.
+Farrant there was a genuine touch of motherliness, in Adela a certain
+desire for justice and willingness to befriend the ill-used.
+
+There was, too, one influence which Dr. Tremain had forgotten.  He
+had learnt from his wife the story of little Dot; the sight of the
+church tower in the valley, with its giant yew-tree and clustering
+gravestones, reminded him that there had been another member of the
+Manor household--that Donovan had had at least one ray of heaven's
+own sunlight in his life.  He made his way to the little churchyard,
+and without much difficulty found Dot's grave; but as he looked down
+at the marble cross, with its inscription of "I am the resurrection
+and the life," his thoughts were more of the living Donovan than of
+the little child who "after life's fitful fever" rested well.  How
+that cross and motto must have mocked him in his hopeless grief!--how
+he must have dashed his heart against words to him so hollow and
+meaningless!  The awful realisation of what his sorrow must have been
+came to the doctor overpoweringly; for the first time he fully
+understood the ever-present look of pain in Donovan's eyes; it was
+there when he spoke of other things, when he was at ease, even when
+he was laughing--a look of hunger which could never be satisfied.  If
+anything could have deepened the doctor's love for his guest, it
+would have been the sight of that hopeless grave.  He turned away at
+last, feeling no longer the oppression of his visit to the Manor, for
+he was communing with that very Resurrection and Life who alone could
+lighten Donovan's heart.
+
+It was not till the afternoon of the following day that he reached
+home.  The house was quiet and deserted, but in the garden there were
+sounds of distant voices, following which the doctor was led to the
+orchard.  There all the home party were gathered together, Mrs.
+Tremain working, Gladys reading aloud, Donovan lying on his wheeled
+couch under the shade of an old apple-tree, and in the background the
+two little ones at play.  They looked so comfortable that he was loth
+to disturb them, but Jackie in climbing one of the trees caught sight
+of him, and in a minute, with shrieks of delight, had rushed forward
+announcing his advent.
+
+Donovan's colour rose a little, but he waited patiently till all the
+greetings were over; then Gladys put down her book, and by a promised
+game of hide and seek drew the children away, so that her father
+might be able to talk uninterruptedly.
+
+"I have not fared well," he began, in answer to the mute inquiry on
+Donovan's face.  "But I have at least seen Mr. Farrant, which is
+something."
+
+Then he described the interview as well as he could, and Donovan
+listened without the slightest comment until the doctor spoke of Mrs.
+Farrant.
+
+"You saw her!" he exclaimed.  "I am very glad of that.  Tell me more.
+Was she looking well--happy?"
+
+"Scarcely happy; but then she was naturally upset by hearing of your
+illness, and of the troubles you have been through."
+
+"You must be mistaken.  She never really cared for me; she would
+never show more than a well-bred interest, and that only because she
+was listening to a stranger."
+
+"I think, Donovan, you are very much mistaken," said the doctor,
+quietly.  "The mistake may be very natural, but I am sure that if you
+had seen your mother you couldn't for one moment have doubted her
+love.  But stay, I have a message for you."
+
+He repeated Mrs. Farrant's words just as they had been spoken to him.
+Donovan was touched and surprised.
+
+"Did she really say that!" he exclaimed.  "Don't think me too
+unnatural and hard-hearted, but I can scarcely believe it.  You are
+sure those were her words?"
+
+"Quite sure," said the doctor, smiling.  "And I bring you substantial
+proof.  I had left the house when she called me back, and begged me
+to take you this ring of hers, and to ask you, if you still loved
+her, to wear it.  The very last thing she said was, 'Tell Donovan how
+I have longed to hear from him, and how thankful I am for your
+visit.'"
+
+"Poor mother! she must be very much changed," said Donovan, taking
+the ring, and turning it slowly round in his thin fingers.  The stone
+was a white cornelian, and on it was engraved the Farrant motto.  It
+was a ring which he remembered to have seen on his mother's hand
+since his childhood.
+
+The doctor watched him a little curiously, for there was some
+hesitation in his manner as he twisted the ring from side to side.
+At length, however, he put it on very deliberately, then looking at
+the doctor he said, with a sigh,
+
+"After all, I am half sorry she has done this.  I am afraid it is a
+sign that she is unhappy in the present, that Mr. Farrant is making
+her miserable, as I always prophesied he would.  I would rather have
+been without her love, and believed her to be happy, as she was at
+first after her marriage."
+
+"But supposing the old happiness were false, and that through the
+disappointment she came to realise the truth?" suggested the doctor.
+
+"The truth--at least, if her love to me is true--can't do her much
+good, can in fact only make her unhappy," said Donovan.  "She will
+never see me, and of what earthly use is love if you can't do
+something to prove it by service?  That is why I half doubted about
+wearing this ring; I shall never be able to do anything for my
+mother.  I believe I do love her; but love without service is the
+ghost of love, hardly worthy the name."
+
+"You are right, I think, in all but one thing," said the doctor.
+"You can prove your love by this: you wish to help your mother, but
+circumstances prevent you.  Supposing that she were left alone in the
+world; you would be the first to go to her."
+
+"Yes," said Donovan, with emphasis.
+
+"And, besides," continued the doctor, "I don't agree that she does
+nothing for you.  Does she not make the world a better place to you?
+Is it not something that you can say to yourself, 'I am not cheated
+of this goodly birthright--I have a mother after all.'  Is it not a
+great thing to know there is some one thinking of you, loving
+you--perhaps praying for you?"
+
+"I can't do that for her," he replied, in a low voice.
+
+"No, not yet," said the doctor, quietly; and then there was a long
+silence.
+
+At last Donovan spoke.
+
+"You said that Mr. Farrant promised to make me some sort of
+allowance.  I suppose I'm not bound to accept it?"
+
+"No, but I advise you to do so," said the doctor, unable to help
+smiling at the very evident look of distaste which his words called
+up.  "You see, to begin with £100 a year is better than
+nothing--that's the common-sense view; and, from a higher point, I
+don't think it will do you any harm to endure the discipline of those
+half-yearly cheques."
+
+Donovan laughed outright.
+
+"I think I see myself writing the receipts every six months in the
+style of a Greyshot tradesman.  'D. F. with best thanks, and
+soliciting Mr. Farrant's esteemed patronage for the future."'
+
+The doctor was not a little relieved to hear such a hearty laugh, he
+laughed himself, but waited for Donovan to go on with the discussion.
+With amusement still flickering about his face he continued,
+
+"Still the great question is unsolved, what else am I to do besides
+eating these half-yearly slices of humble pie?"
+
+"What have you a taste for?" asked Dr. Tremain.
+
+"For nothing in the world except doctoring," said Donovan, with
+decision.  "It has always seemed to me the only sensible and
+thoroughly satisfactory profession.  I suppose it's no good thinking
+of it though.  The training is very long, isn't it?"
+
+"Four years," said Dr. Tremain.  "The longest of any of the
+professions.  But if you've a real inclination for it, you should
+certainly follow your bent.  In many ways I think you are well fitted
+for it."
+
+"Do you really?" exclaimed Donovan.  "I was afraid Nature had fitted
+me for nothing but the work of a mathematician, and I should be
+afraid to try that now."
+
+"Why?" asked the doctor, surprised at such an admission.
+
+"Because I know I'm as hard as nails already, and don't want to get
+more so."
+
+"Proverbially, you know, the medical course hardens men, for a time
+at least, but every rule has its exceptions, and I half fancy you
+would make an exception to this."
+
+"How about the entrance fees at the hospital?"
+
+"One hundred pounds, but you can pay by instalments.  There are many
+other expenses, though, and you must live meanwhile.  I don't quite
+see how you can do it.  However, we will manage it somehow between
+us.  A real inclination such as this ought not to be neglected."
+
+"You have given me enough discipline, though, already," said Donovan.
+"I can't become utterly dependent.  Don't think me ungrateful, but
+unless I can scrape through on my hundred pounds a year I won't go
+up.  But it must be possible--I'll do it somehow.  I suppose there
+are scholarships, too, at most of the hospitals?"
+
+Upon this ensued a long discussion as to the respective merits of St.
+Bartholomew's and St. Thomas's, and that evening it was arranged that
+Donovan should become a student at the latter hospital.  His thoughts
+were successfully drawn from Ellis Farrant and the Oakdene property,
+by the prospect of going up in two months' time for his preliminary.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+THE IDEAL WOMAN.
+
+  "But am I not the nobler through thy love?
+  O three times less unworthy! likewise thou
+  Art more thro' Love, and greater than thy years.
+  The sun will run his orbit, and the moon
+  Her circle.  Wait, and Love himself will bring
+  The drooping flower of knowledge changed to fruit
+  Of wisdom.  Wait: my faith is large in Time,
+  And that which shapes it to some perfect end."
+                                            TENNYSON.
+
+
+"You look very hot and very much bored.  Don't you think those great
+books are too dull for a summer morning?" exclaimed Gladys, coming
+into the breakfast-room, where Donovan was working, one sunny day in
+August.
+
+The table was dragged up to his couch, and, to all appearance, he was
+very busy with his examination work.
+
+"It is not the big books that bore me," he said in reply.
+
+"But something has certainly happened to you since breakfast time,"
+said Gladys, laughing.  "Can Aunt Margaret have been here?"
+
+There was such _naïveté_ in her tone that Donovan could not help
+laughing.
+
+"Yes," he replied, "Mrs. Causton has been here for the last hour.
+She is very--kind-hearted."
+
+Gladys smiled.
+
+"Yes, very, but she rubs people the wrong way.  Papa says it is
+because she thinks there is only one way.  As if, you know, we were
+all made alike!"
+
+"I told you it wasn't the big books that bored me," said Donovan.
+"What do you think of this?"  He handed her a little brown volume,
+and turning to the title-page Gladys read--"An Inquiry into the
+Nature, Symptoms, and Effects of Religious Declension, with the Means
+of Recovery."
+
+The colour rose in her cheeks.
+
+"Oh!  I am so sorry!" she exclaimed.  "I hope--I hope you haven't
+minded it very much?"
+
+"I've no business to mind it, for she was very kind; but there are
+some subjects which I had rather have touched reverently.  Do you
+think that kind of spiritual hay-making does much good? that raking
+up of feelings, that tossing of texts?  It's the first time I've come
+across it."
+
+"Except when you met us in the train that day and auntie gave you the
+tracts."
+
+Donovan laughed a little at the remembrance.
+
+"Do you know though meeting you that day made me feel very much
+ashamed of myself; I never can think of those tracts without
+laughing.  The first of mine was 'Are you a drunkard?' and the second
+'Are you a swearer?'  We had a parrot at our rooms, a capital talker,
+but like almost all parrots, it did swear most dreadfully; some one
+fastened these tracts to its cage, and taught it to ask the
+questions--a very wicked thing, wasn't it? but irresistibly comic."
+
+"Poor Aunt Margaret! what would she say!" exclaimed Gladys.
+
+"It is not tracts that are wanted," continued Donovan; "beautiful
+lives are the best arguments, the only ones which will ever influence
+me."
+
+"Lives like your little sister's," said Gladys, gently.
+
+"Yes," he replied; then, after a pause, "Not that her life was what
+some people would have approved; she never thought much of what is
+called the soul, she was a little Undine till she was nearly
+thirteen."
+
+"Was she thirteen when she died?  I had fancied her younger somehow."
+
+"So she was really in mind and ways," he said, quietly.  "She was a
+thorough child; your little Nesta reminds me of her, though I don't
+suppose you would see any likeness."
+
+He took the little miniature out and placed it in her hands.  Gladys
+looked at it in silence; it was a most beautiful child's face, with
+delicate features, clear, pale complexion, arched and pencilled
+eyebrows, and glorious hazel eyes--eyes which she thought very much
+like Donovan's, only they were entirely without the sadness which
+lurked in his.
+
+"Thank you so much for letting me see it," she said, giving it back
+to him.  "She must have been far lovelier than little Nesta; but I
+think I do see the likeness you mean.  Was this taken long before she
+died?"
+
+"No, only a few months before," replied Donovan.  "It was taken when
+we were staying at Codrington, and she was just beginning to puzzle
+herself over all the unanswerable questions; we talked one day about
+death, and of course I had no comforting things to tell her about it,
+I couldn't tell her what I believed to be untrue.  Then for a time
+the thought of it haunted us both; there was an artist staying in the
+hotel, and I got him to do this miniature for me, knowing that the
+separation must come some day, but not dreaming that it would be so
+soon."
+
+"And did she ever learn that death is not an endless separation?"
+asked Gladys, the tears welling up into her eyes.
+
+"Yes," he answered, quietly; "she learnt all that could make her
+happy, how I don't know.  Isn't it strange how easily belief comes to
+some?  I would give worlds to be able now to believe what you
+believe, to feel certain that I'd got hold of the real truth, but I
+cannot, it's an impossibility."
+
+"Oh! don't say that," said Gladys, quickly, "leave yourself at least
+a hope, or how will you ever have the heart to go on searching for
+the truth?  It may not always seem impossible to you."
+
+Her sweet, eager face, with its entire absence of self-consciousness,
+took Donovan's heart by storm; hitherto she had influenced him,
+fascinated him, but now for the first time he knew that he loved her.
+
+"Life is full of strange surprises," he answered; "you may be right,
+I'll unsay that 'impossible.'"
+
+Then with the strange new sense of love in his heart, and the craving
+for her sympathy, he told her all about Dot's death, and Gladys'
+tears fell fast as she heard the details of that last night, and
+realised how terribly Donovan must have suffered.
+
+From that time there was a great difference in their intercourse;
+they talked much more freely, gliding into a sort of brotherly and
+sisterly intimacy; at least, so it seemed.  Donovan, though conscious
+of his love, was not in the frame of mind to think of the future, it
+was quite enough for him to live in the present, knowing and loving
+Gladys; and she, beginning with the wish to give him a little of the
+sister's love which he missed so much, drifted imperceptibly,
+unconsciously into a love altogether different.
+
+Very happy to both of them were those summer weeks; in the long
+mornings Donovan worked hard for his examinations, in the afternoon
+there were merry gatherings in the shady old orchard, games with the
+children, reading aloud, or attempts at sketching.
+
+One afternoon, when they were all sitting in the shade of the great
+mulberry-tree, engrossed in their own various books, Gladys looked up
+laughing.
+
+"Just listen to this.  How would you have liked it?  'He was
+constantly annoyed by being asked to write his likes and dislikes in
+ladies' albums.'"
+
+"I know the horrid inventions," said Donovan.  "A cousin of mine used
+to be always boring people to write in hers--their ideas of pleasure,
+pain, beauty, and so on."
+
+"Rather fun too, I think," said Gladys.  "Only that one's ideas would
+be always changing."
+
+"I should have no difficulty in writing some of my ideas now," said
+Donovan.  "The idea of happiness would certainly be 'a sprained ankle
+at Trenant,' and the idea of beauty, 'the long grass and daisies in
+this orchard with the sunshine on them.'"  He added, in his thoughts,
+"And Gladys sitting with her book among the daisies."
+
+Sometimes, in the cool of the evening, they used to drive out in the
+pony-chaise, along by the sea, or through the narrow lanes with their
+high, mossy banks, pausing now and then at some cottage to leave a
+message, or to visit some of Mrs. Tremain's innumerable friends among
+the poor.  There was very little society round Porthkerran.  In the
+winter Gladys sometimes went to one or two dances at some distant
+country house.  In the summer there was an occasional picnic or
+garden-party, but the neighbourhood was thinly populated, and the
+distances were too great for very much visiting.  So Porthkerran
+formed a little clan of its own; and as by good chance the squire and
+the rector were both fond of natural history, Dr. Tremain was able to
+gather round him a small scientific society; this, with the exception
+of the constant visits of Mrs. Causton, and of their nearest
+neighbour, a jocose old man, Admiral Smith, constituted the clan
+proper.  But the Tremains knew almost everyone in the little
+fishing-town, and though Gladys never undertook formal
+district-visiting, she was welcomed in any house, and there was
+scarcely a child in the place whom she did not know at least by name.
+
+She was therefore never idle and never dull.  There were always
+plenty of tragedies and comedies going on among her large circle of
+friends, in both of which she was interested.  Or there were orphans
+to be sent to school, or blind people to be read to, or twin babies
+who must be worked for, or sick children to be amused.  Donovan liked
+to watch her busy life; she evidently enjoyed it so thoroughly.
+
+There was one event, too, which was constantly being talked of,
+namely, Dick's return from sea.  He was expected in September, and
+Donovan used to listen half sadly to the daily hopes and wonders as
+to his progress.  When the papers came, there was always a rush to
+find the latest "Shipping Intelligence," and delighted exclamations
+when H.M.S. _Cerberus_ was mentioned as having left some port on her
+homeward journey.  How strange it must be to be loved, and watched,
+and waited for so eagerly!
+
+By this time the first cheque from Ellis had been received and
+acknowledged, and immediately Donovan made use of the money to
+recover Dot's clock from the Liverpool pawnbroker's.  He also sent a
+ten-pound note to the hospitable Devonshire man who had helped him
+out of the Foxtor mire.  This last piece of gratitude was perhaps
+slightly rash, considering his very narrow means, but he could not
+rest till he had sent it.
+
+His ankle was now quite recovered, and in September he was able to go
+up for his examination, but not before he had promised to spend his
+last few days at Porthkerran.  The doctor had proposed that he should
+share Stephen Causton's rooms in town.  Stephen was still at St.
+Thomas's, and as his mother made no objection, and Donovan liked the
+thought of being with any connection of the Tremains, the arrangement
+was made; but unfortunately Stephen, who had been spending the
+vacation abroad, returned with his eyes in a very delicate state, and
+a bad attack of ophthalmia ensuing, obliged him to give up all
+thoughts of work for many months.
+
+After his long stay at Trenant, Donovan felt rather at sea when he
+went up to town to begin his solitary life again.  However, he had no
+time to be dull, for he was very anxious about his examination.
+Besides, before many days he hoped to be with the Tremains again.  He
+passed his preliminary successfully.  The scholarship examination was
+not till after the beginning of term, so there was nothing to detain
+him longer, and another week at Gladys' home was not to be missed on
+any consideration.  He went back to Porthkerran in excellent spirits.
+It was about half-past five on a bright September afternoon when he
+reached St. Renans, the nearest station.  He had only just set out
+for the five-mile walk along the dusty road, when he was overtaken by
+a fellow pedestrian, who, on seeing the direction he took, hurried
+after him.
+
+"Are you going beyond Porthkerran?" he inquired.
+
+"No, to Porthkerran itself," replied Donovan, looking at the speaker
+with some curiosity.  He was apparently about his own age, a lithe,
+active-looking fellow, with a very sunburnt but good-looking face,
+and merry, blue-grey eyes.
+
+"Let me send your bag with my traps, then; the carrier leaves in an
+hour's time."
+
+There was a very evident "Who are you?" in Donovan's eyes; but the
+stranger, nothing daunted, took the bag from him and ran back to the
+little inn; then, returning in a moment, he said, apologetically,
+
+"You must excuse this 'hail fellow well met' business, but I am Dick
+Tremain, and, if I am not very much mistaken, you are Mr. Farrant."
+
+They shook hands.
+
+"You are a very clever guesser," said Donovan.  "I ought to have
+known you; but I had no idea you were expected to-day."
+
+"I'm not, that's just the fun of it," returned Dick, accommodating
+his seaman's gait to Donovan's long strides.  "They don't the least
+expect me; we got into Plymouth Sound this morning, and I made up my
+mind to come straight on and surprise them.  They're all right at
+home, I suppose?"
+
+"Yes, when I left they were all very well."
+
+"And your ankle is mended again, to judge by the pace you're going
+at.  I heard all about that cliff adventure."
+
+"It brought me the pleasantest two months of my life," said Donovan.
+"I'm coming down now to say good-bye before starting at St. Thomas's,
+in October.  I'm sorry, though, that I just chanced to come back on
+the same day you did."
+
+Dick laughed.
+
+"I might take that as a bad compliment, and you know we have still
+four miles to walk.  But in all seriousness you really must take back
+your words, for I have been particularly hoping to see you, and at
+Trenant it is always 'the more the merrier.'  So you are going to St.
+Thomas's?  Is Stephen Causton still there?"
+
+"Yes; we were to have shared rooms, but his eyes have given out, so
+he won't go up this term."
+
+"Better luck for you, I should say.  Perhaps you've seen him, though?"
+
+"No, he's only just home.  What sort of a fellow is he?"
+
+"A regular sawney--good-humoured enough, but weak as water.  He's
+never been allowed to shift for himself; he's a regular mother's son."
+
+This was a genus utterly unknown to Donovan; he asked several
+questions about the Caustons, and, as Dick possessed the genial
+manner and the ready speech of his family, the five mile walk was
+quite sufficient to make the two pretty well acquainted.  At last
+they reached the turn in the road which brought them into sight of
+the little fishing-town.
+
+Porthkerran was a very picturesque place; it stood at the head of a
+tidal inlet, which in olden times had been one of the most frequented
+harbours of the west.  The building of the breakwater had, however,
+caused it to be superseded by Plymouth Sound, and Porthkerran was now
+obliged to content itself with seeing from afar the passing ships.
+It had been a noted resort of smugglers, and the irregularly-built
+streets, with their narrow twistings and windings, the innumerable
+passages and mysterious flights of steps, the houses with their
+second doors and secure hiding-places, all bore witness to the bygone
+times when the one interest, excitement, and object in life of the
+inhabitants had been to smuggle, and to escape from the
+coastguardsmen.  Many curious stories were still handed down in the
+village of great-grandmothers who had concealed fabulous numbers of
+silk dresses under their own ample skirts; of perilous escapes down
+dark alleys; of kegs of brandy which some daring sexton had once
+concealed for several days in the church itself.  The rising
+generation listened with interest to these tales of the evil deeds of
+their forefathers; sometimes they even went so far as to wish that
+their own lot had been cast in those more exciting days, and were so
+depraved as not to
+
+  "Thank the goodness and the grace
+  Which on their birth had smiled."
+
+But to wish that they had not been taught so very often in
+Sunday-school that the boys who stole apples invariably came to a bad
+end, or that living in those benighted days they might have enjoyed
+in peace a little of the excitement of smuggling.
+
+But Porthkerran was now an eminently respectable fishing village, and
+if it did break the Ten Commandments, broke them in a less flagrant
+and open manner than in former times.  Adulteration of food and false
+weights were certainly not quite unknown in the place, but on the
+whole Porthkerran had decidedly improved, and the inhabitants were,
+as a rule, hospitable, kindly, and staunch.
+
+The little place looked especially pretty in the sunset glow of the
+September evening; the quaint, compact little town, with its curling
+columns of blue smoke, telling of the supper in preparation for the
+fishermen, the narrow strip of beach, dotted here and there with
+brown nets spread out to dry, the calm bay, with its orange-sailed
+boats, and aslant from the west a broad pathway of tawny gold, ever,
+as the sun sank lower, deepening to crimson.
+
+And this was Gladys' home!  Donovan's heart gave a great bound when
+he realised how near he was to her.  It was a beautiful little place
+certainly, but he would have thought the Black Country beautiful if
+Gladys had lived there.  How he had pictured it all to himself up in
+those dull London lodgings!--how he had paced in imagination that
+very road, had reached that ivy-covered house!  Well, here he was in
+sober reality, and even as they drew near the door was thrown open,
+and Gladys' own fresh voice was ringing in his ears.
+
+"Dick--oh!  Dick, you dear, delightful boy to come so unexpectedly!
+How exactly like you to walk in so quietly!  And Donovan, too!  How
+clever of you to find each other out!"
+
+Donovan felt the real welcome of her voice and hand; it was,
+moreover, the first time she had directly spoken to him by his
+Christian name, for, though he had long ceased to be "Mr. Farrant" to
+any of them, these two had as yet kept instinctively to that most
+indefinite of all personal pronouns, "you."
+
+In a minute all the household came flocking out into the hall to
+welcome the sailor after his long absence.  Donovan watched the
+greetings with a strange mixture of pain and pleasure, his new nature
+sharing in the general happiness, his old nature viewing all with
+silent, deep-seated envy.  His usual helper, however, came to his
+aid; a delighted cry of "Dono!  Dono!" made him look up, and there,
+slowly coming down the broad oak staircase, her right foot solemnly
+stumping in front, her left foot following with less dignity in its
+wake, was little Nesta.
+
+"Dear Dono to tum back!" she cried, gleefully.  "Lift me over the
+ban'sters, Mr. Dono, up on to you shoulder."
+
+He lifted her across, received a half-strangling hug, and was not a
+little flattered that only from her perch on his shoulder would she
+be induced to kiss the strange brother.
+
+After the seven o'clock dinner was over, Donovan made his escape from
+the rest of the family, strolled down the garden, and gave himself up
+to a rather sombre reverie.  The last words he had heard spoken by
+Dick to Gladys rang rather painfully in his ears--"Oh, and don't you
+remember----"  There was no one in all the world to whom he could now
+say, "Don't you remember."  He had to an almost morbid extent, too,
+the dread of intruding himself where he was not wanted, and, this
+evening he argued to himself logically enough that it was impossible
+they should not prefer his absence.  And it certainly was true that
+for a time no one missed him, that the father and mother were
+entirely engrossed in their boy, that even Gladys did not at first
+understand his non-appearance.  But, delighted as she was at Dick's
+return, and interested as she was in his stories, she was
+nevertheless conscious of an undefined sense of trouble, which grew
+and grew, until at length it flashed upon her suddenly that Donovan
+must be purposely keeping aloof, afraid of spoiling the freedom of
+the family talk.  She remembered now that she had been talking to
+Dick as they left the dining-room; how inconsiderate she had been!
+how absorbed in her own happiness!  It was just like Donovan to take
+himself off alone.  He must be found and taken to task.  She would
+not disturb her father or mother, but putting down her work, she
+slipped quietly out of the room, looked into the study, but he was
+not there, into the dining-room, but it was empty and deserted,
+finally snatching up an old wide-awake of her father's as protection
+from the dew, she instituted a search in the garden.
+
+At last in the twilight she caught sight of a dark figure pacing to
+and fro by the strawberry beds.  He did not notice her till she was
+almost close to him, then suddenly turning round he found himself
+face to face with a white-robed apparition, and started a little.
+
+"I'm not a ghost, though I have a white frock," she exclaimed; "and
+I'm not papa, though I have his hat.  Why are you wandering up and
+down the very froggiest and toadiest path in the garden?"
+
+"Birds of a feather flock together," he said, lightly.  "I've a good
+deal in common with the frogs, a love of croaking and a coldness of
+heart--or absence of heart altogether, is it?"
+
+"I came to scold you," said Gladys, "not to laugh.  Why have you not
+been listening to Dick?  You've no idea what adventures he has had
+this voyage."
+
+"Why are you not with him?" returned Donovan.  "I hoped--I thought
+you would all forget that I was here, and enjoy him to yourselves."
+
+"Why to _ourselves_?"
+
+"Is not that the only way really to enjoy him?"
+
+"Not when you won't be one of the selves.  I thought you did really
+take this as a home."
+
+"So I do.  Never doubt that, in whatever way I act."
+
+"Then why not act as a part of the home, taking it for granted that
+we like you to be interested in all our interests.  Can't you
+understand that of course we do?"
+
+He did not answer for a moment, but even in the dim, shady
+garden-walk Gladys could see how his face lighted up--what a strange
+new look of rest dawned in his eyes!
+
+"I have believed in neither God nor man," he said at last, "but you
+have forced me to believe in the latter.  Ever since I came here you
+have been teaching me.  If ever I doubt human goodness again, I shall
+only have to remember that there is such a place as Trenant in the
+world."
+
+"Then if that is so," said Gladys, smiling, "I shall thank my hat for
+blowing over the cliffs that day, even though it did give you so much
+trouble and pain.  However, we've wandered from the point.  You will
+come in, won't you?  It was so stupid of me not to remember sooner
+that you would be sure to take yourself off."
+
+He laughed a little.
+
+"You own, then, that it was natural?"
+
+"Not at all; most people would never have dreamt of doing such a
+thing."
+
+"But you knew that I should," said Donovan, triumphantly gaining the
+assurance that she understood his character.
+
+"Well, yes," she owned, "I thought it would be very like you to feel
+in the way and not wanted."
+
+"Don't be too hard on me for that; you've no idea how I've been shut
+out of things all my life.  No one has ever loved me but a few
+children and a dog or two."
+
+"Oh, you must not say that!" she exclaimed, in a voice so pained, so
+unlike itself that it even startled her.  "You know--you know that is
+not true!"
+
+As the words passed her lips, she knew for the first time that her
+own love for Donovan was no sisterly love, no friendly liking; that
+brief sentence of his and her own impulsive reply revealed to her the
+wholly unsuspected depth of her feelings.  Had she been aware of this
+sooner, it would have been utterly impossible for her to run out into
+the garden to find him, as she had done only a few minutes before in
+perfect simplicity.  It was twilight, that was one comfort; he could
+not see that her cheeks were glowing with maidenly shame, that she
+was trembling in every limb.  Strange as it may seem, though he loved
+her, he did not notice her sudden change--that is, it did not at all
+convey to him the faintest idea that her own love caused that pained
+tone in her voice.  They walked on for a minute or two in silence.
+
+Donovan was the first to speak; she knew by his manner that she had
+not betrayed herself.
+
+"I was wrong to speak bitterly; this evening's welcome to Porthkerran
+ought to have reminded me of the love I have found here.  One of your
+father's hand-shakes is worth travelling three hundred miles for."
+
+Gladys turned in the direction of the house.
+
+"And Nesta was so delighted to have you back again.  You can't think
+how fond she is of you; we used to hear her telling Waif long stories
+about you while you were in London.  Nesta's stories are such fun.  I
+think she has a good deal of imagination."
+
+They reached the house as she finished speaking, and finding the
+drawing-room window open, she went in that way and soon had the
+satisfaction of seeing Donovan really join the family group.
+
+The mantle of his taciturnity seemed to have fallen instead upon her;
+before long she slipped out of the room and slowly and dreamily
+wandered away, she hardly knew whither.  This strange new conviction,
+this consciousness of love, seemed to have transported her into a new
+world.  Presently, finding herself by the night nursery door, she
+stole softly in, and sat down by Nesta's little bed.  The curly brown
+head nestled down on the pillow, the rosy face half hidden seemed the
+very picture of peace.  And Gladys too, though her face glowed and
+her eyes shone with the love which had just dawned in her heart, was
+not otherwise than peaceful; there was a great deal of the child
+about her still, not a thought of the future had crossed her mind.
+
+"You love him too, little Nesta," she whispered, bending over the
+sleeping child, "but not as I do.  Oh!  Nesta darling, can you ever
+be so happy as I am to-night!  Can there possibly be such another for
+you to love!"
+
+
+
+END OF THE SECOND VOLUME.
+
+
+
+LONDON: PRINTED BY DUNCAN MACDONALD, BLENHEIM HOUSE.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78457 ***