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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78456 ***
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  DONOVAN
+
+  A Novel
+
+
+  BY
+
+  EDNA LYALL
+
+  AUTHOR OF
+  "WON BY WAITING."
+
+
+  "And I smiled to think God's greatness flowed around
+        Our incompleteness,--
+  Round our restlessness, His rest."
+                              E. B. BROWNING.
+
+
+  IN THREE VOLUMES.
+  VOL. I.
+
+
+  LONDON:
+  HURST AND BLACKETT, PUBLISHERS,
+  13, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET.
+  1882.
+
+  _All rights reserved._
+
+
+
+
+  TO ONE
+  WHOSE LOVING HELP
+  I LOVINGLY ACKNOWLEDGE.
+
+
+
+
+  Contents
+
+  I. Running the Gauntlet
+  II. A Retrospect
+  III. The Tremains of Porthkerran
+  IV. "My Only Son, Donovan"
+  V. Repulsed and Attracted
+  VI. Autumn Manœuvres
+  VII. The Black Sheep of Oakdene
+  VIII. "Tied to his Mother's Apron-strings"
+  IX. Dot versus the World
+  X. Looking Two Ways
+  XI. "Let Nothing You Dismay"
+  XII. Desolate
+  XIII. Wishes and Chestnut Roasting
+
+
+
+
+DONOVAN.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+RUNNING THE GAUNTLET.
+
+  Oh, yet we trust that somehow good
+    Will be the final goal of ill,
+    To pangs of nature, sins of will,
+  Defects of doubt, and taints of blood.
+
+  That nothing walks with aimless feet;
+    That not one life shall be destroyed,
+    Or cast as rubbish to the void,
+  When God hath made the pile complete.
+                                  _In Memoriam._
+
+
+"So Farrant is really to be expelled?  Tell me all about it, for I've
+heard next to nothing these last few days up in the infirmary."
+
+The speaker was a boy of about seventeen, who was walking arm-in-arm
+with a companion of his own age in the quietest part of a large
+playground.
+
+"Well, on the whole, I think you were well out of it.  There was no
+end of a row on Saturday evening when it all came to light.  Little
+Harrison turned rusty, and told the Doctor that some of the sixth had
+taken to gambling, and then there was a solemn convention, and we
+were all called upon to reveal anything we knew, and, before I could
+have thanked my stars for ten seconds that I knew nothing, up sprang
+Donovan Farrant, looking like a second Curtius, only with a bad
+cause, poor fellow, to confess that he had been the first to
+introduce card-playing.  I fancy the Doctor thought him rather too
+brazen-faced about it, for he was awfully severe; but Farrant, you
+know, is one of those fellows who look like marble when they feel
+most, and, instead of being the picture of shame, he stood there,
+with his head thrown back, looking as if he'd knock all our heads off
+for sixpence."
+
+"I can just fancy him.  He's certainly a touch of the Roman in him;
+but what in the blessed world did he do it for?"
+
+"Don't know.  He's a queer fellow.  Such crazy ideas of honour too!
+Enough to make him spring up in that way to answer to a general
+accusation, and yet so little that he could go on for weeks as the
+ringleader in this affair."
+
+"But what's on the wire now?  They're never going to make him run the
+gauntlet?"
+
+"They are, though.  The lower school's up in arms because
+Harrison--who's his fag, you know--says Farrant forced him against
+his will to give his pocket-money for the gaming, whereupon you can
+fancy the Doctor was furious, exaggerated things, and told Farrant he
+was found guilty of disobedience, stealing, and bullying, though
+everyone knows he's no more a bully than you are."
+
+"Bully!  I should think not!  Why, the little weakly chaps make a
+regular hero of him, and he was always hanging about after poor
+little Somerton, who died last term.  That Harrison is a rascally
+young cub.  I don't believe Farrant took his money."
+
+"Asked him to lend it, I daresay, and gave the young beggar a look
+from those extraordinary eyes of his.  Anyhow, the lower school have
+taken up the Doctor's words, and Farrant will feel their scorn on his
+shoulders before he's an hour older."
+
+"Poor fellow, there he is!" said the first speaker.  "Why didn't they
+send him off by the early train?  He must have had enough of this
+sort of thing yesterday."
+
+"Yes, in all conscience!  He won't soon forget that Sunday.  By Jove!
+it was a slashing sermon the Doctor gave us, preached straight at
+Farrant--hurled at his head.  But there must be some reason for
+keeping him here.  I wish you'd go and speak to him, Reynolds."
+
+After some little discussion, Reynolds gave a reluctant consent, and,
+crossing the playground in the direction of the school-house, made
+his way to the place where the culprit was standing.
+
+Donovan Farrant looked somewhat unapproachable, it must be confessed.
+He was a tall slight fellow of nearly eighteen, with dark hair and
+complexion, a curiously-formed forehead bespeaking rare mathematical
+talent, a faultless profile, a firm but bitter-looking mouth, and
+strange eyes--black in some lights, hazel in others, but always
+curiously contradictory to the hard resoluteness that characterised
+the rest of the face, for they were hungry-looking and unsatisfied.
+
+He was leaning against the wall, but there was no rest in his
+attitude.  With an expression of cold scorn, he was watching the
+gradually increasing group of boys in the centre of the playground.
+His face softened a little as a friendly greeting attracted his
+notice.
+
+"I am very sorry you are going, Farrant," said Reynolds, who had been
+racking his brain for words which would be at once kind and yet bear
+no reference to his disgrace.  This was the best he could think of.
+
+The strange eyes met his unflinchingly, Reynolds felt they were not
+the eyes of a thief or a bully; yet there was something defiantly
+hard and scornful in the tone of the answer.
+
+"Why should you be sorry?  Why make yourself the exception to prove
+the contrary rule?  If you could step into my shoes and watch this
+Christian gathering with my eyes, you would see a lovely specimen of
+ill-will to men."
+
+"Gauntleting is a barbarous custom," said Reynolds, uneasily.  "It is
+fast dying out; I only wish we could stop this to-day."
+
+"Never mind," said Donovan, still very bitterly, "it's only on a
+piece with the rest of the world, the people who brag most about the
+universal brotherhood are the very first to throw stones at their
+neighbours."
+
+Reynolds was about to question this when some one approached Donovan
+with a message--Colonel Farrant had arrived, and was waiting for him.
+A sort of spasm passed over the cold face, but, recovering his
+self-control in an instant, Donovan replied, icily,
+
+"Tell him I will come, but that I have other work before me first."
+Then, as the messenger turned away, he folded his arms and leant this
+time really for support against the wall.  A glow of shame had
+mounted to his forehead, Reynolds could see that he was in terrible
+distress.
+
+"Did you not know that your father was coming?" he ventured to ask,
+after a few minutes.
+
+Donovan signed a negative.
+
+"He was only to come back from India on Saturday, and--and _this_ is
+what he is met with!"
+
+There was something in the tone of this sentence which made Reynolds
+feel that here the real Donovan Farrant was showing himself, the
+sudden boyish shame and grief were so perfectly natural, so strangely
+contrasted with the tone of bitter scorn which he had at first
+assumed.  But the words called up a sad enough picture even to the
+schoolboy's mind, and his throat felt choked, and he was shy of
+offering any consolation.
+
+"You will begin over again in some new place," he said at last.  "You
+have been left to yourself so much, surely your father will
+understand, and be lenient."
+
+"Do you think I care for his anger?--it's not that!--but to have
+brought this disgrace to him, to have----" he broke off abruptly,
+with a stifled sob.
+
+Reynolds was amazed, for no one credited Donovan Farrant with
+over-much feeling.  But even as he wondered his companion regained
+his composure, and wrapped himself once more in that impenetrable
+mantle of cold scorn.
+
+"The Christian brotherhood are nearly ready for me," he observed,
+looking towards the long double line which was being formed at a
+little distance, and the knotted scarves, or towels, or straps with
+which every boy was armed.
+
+"For heaven's sake don't talk like that!" exclaimed Reynolds.  "Don't
+let the spite of a few schoolboys turn you from----"
+
+"My dear fellow, I was turned long ago," interrupted Donovan.  "I'm
+sorry if my words hurt you, for I believe you are sincere, but you're
+an exception, one of the few exceptions There, good-bye, thank you."
+
+He turned away, and Reynolds watched him with a sort of fascination
+as, with long, imperturbable strides, he made his way across the
+playground.  What was there in this strange fellow that moved him so?
+There had been a look of pain certainly in his eyes, but then a
+satirical smile had played about his lips as he turned away.  He had
+no particular liking for him; what made him feel that he would give
+anything for power to stop this gauntleting?
+
+To do so was, of course, out of the question.  Reynolds, however,
+hurried to the front, anxious to see how his strange companion would
+conduct himself.  Would he rush through the ranks quickly, or would
+he turn sulky?
+
+Apparently Donovan meant to strike out in a new line.  As he
+approached the ranks his step was even more dignified, his bearing
+more erect than ever.  His face was set like a flint, but expressed
+as plainly as if he had spoken--"I don't deserve this, you
+contemptible curs; but do your worst, it amuses you and will not kill
+me."
+
+Blow after blow fell on his unbent shoulders, hisses greeted him on
+every side, but still there was no faintest token that he felt pain,
+still the lofty indifference was unbroken.  But lower down the ranks,
+waiting for his approach with feverish impatience, was Harrison, one
+of his fags.  Harrison was vindictive, and he thought himself deeply
+injured.  Some of the boys had made him into a little hero, some
+regarded him as a sneak; between the two he had grown exasperated,
+and to revenge himself he had concealed a sharp stone in the end of
+his scarf.  His foe drew near; Harrison, disregarding all rules, and
+too angry to think of the serious harm he might do, aimed a blow
+directly at his forehead.
+
+Donovan staggered back a pace, but recovered himself in an instant.
+The blow had fallen barely half an inch above his left temple, the
+blood was streaming down the side of his face.  He saw it on his
+clothes--his own blood shed by the veriest little rascal.  The sight
+maddened him.  A great cry of "Shame! shame!  Unfair!" came to him.
+Unfair! of course it was unfair! the whole world was unfair!  He
+would crush this one bit of unfairness, though; and he gathered
+himself together, evidently with the intention of dealing Harrison a
+fearful blow.  No one interfered, everyone was disgusted with the
+fag's meanness; there was a breathless silence.  The unlucky Harrison
+felt the air vibrate around him as that strong arm descended.  The
+blow would have silenced him very effectually, but it was suddenly
+checked.  The littleness of his foe seemed to strike Donovan; with a
+tremendous effort of will he drew back all quivering with repressed
+indignation.
+
+"You young blackguard!" he exclaimed, not loudly, but with an
+emphasis which made the words heard by all present--with a force
+which made Harrison turn sick and giddy.
+
+Then, moving away, he would have gone on his course, but the boys who
+a few minutes before had been delighting in his humiliation were now
+ready to make a hero of him; Harrison's breach of rules had been
+abominable.  Farrant's splendid self-control had been apparent to
+everyone; the schoolboy sense of honour was touched.  They cheered
+him now as vehemently as they had hissed him before; they gathered
+round him with offers of help with vociferous admiration, they would
+have borne him in triumph on their shoulders, but he waved them back,
+and walked steadily on towards the school-house.  What was their
+admiration to him?  His blood unjustly shed was streaming down his
+face, a lifelong sense of injustice was rankling in his heart; those
+ringing cheers were utterly powerless to affect him in any way.
+
+And all this time Colonel Farrant waited within the house.  He had
+seen the head-master, had heard the particulars of his son's
+disgrace, and now he was waiting alone at his own request, trying to
+face this sorrow, trying to endure this terrible new shame.  He was a
+middle-aged man, tall and soldierly; his features were almost exactly
+similar to those of his son, but his expression was so much more
+gentle that at first sight the likeness did not seem at all striking.
+Grief and disappointment were expressed in his very attitude as he
+sat waiting wearily with his head resting on his hand; and the
+disappointment had not been caused by Donovan only.  He had returned
+from India only two days before to re-join the wife and children whom
+he had not seen for years, and somehow the home was not quite what he
+had expected, and the long separation seemed either to have altered
+his wife or to have raised a sort of barrier between them.  He had
+been absorbed in his work, had been leading a singularly self-denying
+active life; she had been absorbed in herself, and had allowed
+circumstances to drift her along unresistingly.  No wonder that
+Colonel Farrant had already found how few interests he and his wife
+had in common, no wonder that, even in the brief time since his
+return, he had realised that his two children were growing up in a
+home which could not possibly influence them for good.  Bitterly did
+he now regret that love of his work and dislike of the quiet life of
+a country gentleman had kept him so long in India.  Mrs. Farrant's
+reception of the news of Donovan's disgrace had perhaps more than
+anything revealed the true state of matters to her husband.  What to
+him was a terrible grief was to her merely "very tiresome;" she hoped
+people would not hear about it, lamented the inconvenience of having
+the boy home just as they were going up to town for the season, spoke
+in soft languid tones of his wilfulness, but evidently was quite
+incapable of feeling keenly about anything so far removed from her
+own personal concerns.
+
+Donovan must not come home to that, the Colonel felt that it would be
+ruination to him.  He must go himself to the school, find out the
+whole truth, learn something of his son's real character, and, if
+possible, win his love before taking him back to the doubtful
+influence of that strangely disappointing home.
+
+Waiting now in the quiet room, with the slow monotonous ticking of
+the clock, with the May sunshine streaming in upon him, the Colonel
+tried to recall Donovan as he was at their last parting years and
+years ago at Malta.  How well he remembered the little bright-eyed
+merry child of three years old!  what a wrench it had been to leave
+him when his regiment had been ordered out to India, and the little
+boy--their only child then--had been sent back alone to England.  And
+this was the same boy whom he came to-day to find disgraced and
+expelled!  How was it possible that his little high-spirited, loving
+child should have become a thief, a bully, a breaker of rules?  He
+could not believe it.  And yet the head-master told him that Donovan
+had with his own lips confessed that he was guilty!
+
+A sound of footsteps without, some one speaking in a tone of
+remonstrance, roused him, and then another voice, indignant and
+vehement, made him start to his feet.
+
+"Leave me alone!  I will see him now, at once, as I am!"
+
+And the door was thrown open, and the vision of the merry
+three-year-old child faded suddenly, and in its place stood the son
+of to-day, haggard, bloodstained, miserable, only upheld by a
+desperate resolve to face the worst.
+
+Donovan looked at once straight into his father's eyes to read there
+what he had to prepare himself for, and the very first expression he
+read was neither anger, nor shame, nor disappointment, but only love
+and pity.  His father's hand was on his shoulder, his right hand
+clasped his, and, when he spoke, there was not the slightest sound of
+upbraiding in his tone.
+
+"Dono--my poor boy!"
+
+That was too much even for Donovan's hardihood.  He had braced
+himself to endure anger or reproach, or cold displeasure--but to be
+met in this way!  For the first time an agony of remorse surged up in
+his heart.  If only he could live his school days over again how
+different they should be!
+
+Presently the father and son left the school, and, as they made their
+way to the station, Colonel Farrant spoke of the plan he had made.
+He had some business to transact at Plymouth; he thought they would
+go down there together, and perhaps spend a week in South Devon or
+Cornwall before going back to Oakdene.  Donovan evidently liked this
+idea, but in another minute his face suddenly changed.
+
+"I had forgotten Dot.  What a brute I am!" he exclaimed.  "She will
+be expecting me, I mustn't disappoint her."
+
+Somehow that sentence cheered Colonel Farrant wonderfully.
+
+Dot, his little invalid girl, had in a measure comforted him the day
+before by her evident devotion to Donovan; he had hardly dared to
+hope, however, that the love was mutual, or that, in his disgrace and
+sorrow, Donovan would yet have a thought to spare for his sister.
+
+"Dot will not expect us," he said in reply.  "I told her that we
+should not come home for a few days.  She sent you this."
+
+They were in the train now.  Donovan took the little three-cornered
+note from his father.  It was written faintly in pencil, but in spite
+of the straggling letters and wild spelling it brought the tears to
+his eyes.
+
+
+"DARLING DON," it began, "I am so sory.  Papa has told me all abowt
+it, and he has been verry kind.  I don't think he bileves all the
+horid things they say off you, and I never, never will, Don dear.
+
+  "Your loving
+      "DOT."
+
+
+The long, strange journey ended at last, but by that time Donovan's
+physical weariness was so intense that it overpowered everything
+else.  As he threw himself on his bed that night, he could feel
+nothing but relief that at length this longest and most painful day
+of his life was over.  The future was a yawning blackness, the past a
+horrid confusion, but he would face neither past nor future, the
+present was all he needed; in utter exhaustion of both mind and body
+he fell asleep.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+A RETROSPECT.
+
+  The canker galls the infants of the spring,
+  Too oft before their buttons be disclosed,
+  And in the morn and liquid dew of youth
+  Contagious blastments are most imminent.
+                                            _Hamlet._
+
+  God's possible is taught by His world's loving,
+  And the children doubt of each.
+                                  E. B. BROWNING.
+
+
+How was it that his son was so different from what he had expected?
+That was the question which continually recurred to Colonel Farrant,
+as, with all the chilliness of an old Indian, he sat beside the fire
+that May evening in one of the private sitting-rooms of the Royal
+Hotel.  How was it that the child, whom he remembered as
+high-spirited, loving, and demonstrative, had become proud, and cold,
+and repressed?  It could not all be owing to the sense of his present
+disgrace, though that no doubt accounted for it in part; but there
+was a restless unsatisfied expression, for which the disgrace did not
+account, and which appeared to be habitual to him.  Perhaps, had
+Colonel Farrant known all the details of his boy's life during the
+years in which he had been separated from him, he might not have felt
+so much perplexed.
+
+Donovan had a wonderfully good memory, and, though he had only been
+three years old when he parted with his father and mother at Malta,
+he carried away a certain kind of remembrance of them--a dim vision
+of a mother who always wore pretty dresses, and of a father who was
+always ready to play with him, and could roar like a bear.  With
+these recollections he set sail for England, and was handed over by
+the acquaintance who had taken care of him during the voyage to the
+charge of an elderly woman in black, who was waiting for him when he
+landed at Southampton.  The elderly woman's name was Mrs. Doery, and,
+as they made their way to the station, she informed Donovan that she
+was his grandfather's housekeeper, and that he must always do what
+she told him.  Upon this, Donovan looked up at once to scrutinize her
+face, to judge what sort of things she was likely to tell him to do,
+and, child though he was, he could see that Mrs. Doery would be no
+easy mistress.  Her long hooked nose and prominent chin were of the
+nut-cracker order, the corners of her mouth were turned down, her
+eyes were clear but disagreeably piercing, and her whole aspect,
+though irreproachably respectable, was, to say the least of it,
+forbidding.  Donovan tried to find some reason for her name, but she
+was singularly unlike the soft-eyed doe in the animal picture-book;
+in time, however, he discovered that there was another kind of dough,
+and thought he quite understood the reason of Mrs. Doery's name then,
+for her face was exactly of that whitish yellow colour, and, in spite
+of all remonstrances, he would call her nothing else from that day
+forth but "Doughy."
+
+Mrs. Doery asserted her authority at once; it was a hot summer's day,
+and Donovan, as he walked down the platform, complained of thirst,
+and begged for something to drink.  He had caught a glimpse of some
+of his little acquaintance on board ship standing within the
+refreshment-room with tumblers of delicious-looking milk in their
+hands, and this made him feel an uncomfortable craving for some.  But
+Mrs. Doery gave a decided negative--they would be home at his
+grandfather's in good time for tea; if he was hot, that was the very
+reason why he should not drink; she was not going to allow bits and
+snacks between meals, and he had better put such fancies out of his
+head directly.
+
+Old Mr. Farrant had two houses--Oakdene Manor, a country house which
+he had built for himself in one of the western counties, and an old
+family house, standing in the main street of a little country town at
+no great distance from London.  It was to the latter place that Mrs.
+Doery conducted her little charge on the day of his arrival, for her
+master had lately had a paralytic stroke, and had given up all
+thoughts of re-visiting his newly-built house, which, after standing
+empty for some time, was eventually let to strangers.  It was in the
+old red-brick house, with its narrow windows, and dark rooms, and
+stately solid old furniture, that Donovan's childhood was to be
+passed.
+
+And somehow his childhood was not a happy one.  He was very lonely,
+to begin with; there were no children of his own age whom Mrs. Doery
+thought fit to associate with him; his grandfather, though very fond
+of him, was too ill and helpless to be his companion; there was no
+father at hand to play at "bear" with him, and Mrs. Doery, though she
+was often excessively cross, could not in any other respect imitate
+that favourite animal of the nursery.  Then he had so little to do.
+Mrs. Doery had at first instructed him daily in the three R's, and he
+proved very slow with the reading, only tolerable with the writing,
+but alarmingly quick with the arithmetic.  He took to the
+multiplication-table, as Mrs. Doery expressed it, "like ducks to
+water;" he answered the questions in the book of mental arithmetic
+with a lightning speed which fairly baffled the housekeeper, and
+before he was five years old the longest sum in any of the first four
+rules would not keep him quiet for more than two minutes.  But then
+certainly by this time he had taken to working problems in his sleep,
+and would awaken Mrs. Doery in the middle of the night by proclaiming
+in excited tones that if sheep were 39_s._  each, a flock of
+forty-five sheep would be worth £87, 15_s._, or some equally abstruse
+calculation.  Mrs. Doery naturally liked to have her nights
+undisturbed; moreover, she had sense enough to be rather alarmed at
+this precocity, so she asked the doctor to look at Master Donovan,
+and the doctor, seeing at once that he was a clever, delicate,
+excitable child, strongly recommended that all lessons should be
+stopped till he was seven years old.  Mrs. Doery obeyed this
+injunction strictly, and a time of woe to poor Donovan ensued; "don't
+do that" seemed to follow everything he attempted.  He was not
+allowed to run about in the nursery, because Mrs. Doery "couldn't
+abide a noise," or in old Mr. Farrant's room, because "it was
+unfeeling to his poor grandfather;" if he ventured to make such a
+thing as a figure everything in the shape of a pencil was at once
+confiscated, and when he rebelled he was whipped.
+
+For a little while he amused himself by turning the letters in his
+picture-book into figures and calculating with them, but Mrs. Doery
+soon found that he was up to no good, and forbade him to open a book
+without her leave.  He was naturally bright and energetic, but he
+fell now into listless lounging habits, his high spirits breaking
+forth now and then, and carrying him into all kinds of mischief.  He
+was very self-willed, and his battles with the housekeeper were
+numerous, but, though his will was quite as strong as hers, he was
+generally forced into a sort of grudging, resentful submission, for
+Mrs. Doery had what seemed to him a very unfair advantage in the
+shape of a stinging lithe cane, and though, when Donovan kicked or
+struck her, he felt miserable the next moment, she never seemed to
+feel the least compunction in hurting him, but on the contrary
+appeared to find a grim satisfaction in his chastisement.
+
+It was all very puzzling, Donovan could not understand it, but then
+there were so few things he could understand, except the problems
+about the sheep and such like.  Mrs. Doery found him difficult to
+manage, and therefore told him that he was the worst boy she had ever
+known, and the more she impressed his badness upon him, the more he
+felt that for such a bad boy nothing mattered, and the less pains did
+he take to obey her.
+
+And so the years passed slowly by, and at last in the spring, before
+Donovan's seventh birthday, old Mr. Farrant had another paralytic
+stroke and died.  Donovan cried a good deal, for though his
+grandfather had never been able to speak to him, yet he had always
+looked kindly at him and had seemed pleased that he should come into
+his room, and the little lonely boy had been thankful for that silent
+love, and was the truest--perhaps the only true mourner at his
+grandfather's funeral.
+
+The old house seemed in a sort of dreary excitement all through the
+week preceding the funeral, and Donovan saw several people whom he
+had never seen before, among others his father's cousin, Mr. Ellis
+Farrant, a dark handsome man of eight and twenty, who patronised the
+little boy considerably, and held his hand while the Burial Service
+was being read, an indignity which Donovan resented keenly, trying
+hard to wriggle away from him.  In the evening, however, he began to
+like his new cousin better; the doctor and most of the other guests
+left early in the afternoon, but Cousin Ellis and the lawyer from
+London were to stay the night, as they had to look over old Mr.
+Farrant's papers, a work which did not seem to occupy them very long,
+for when Donovan went shyly into the library with a message from Mrs.
+Doery, to know when it would be convenient to them to dine, Ellis
+Farrant declared that they had looked through everything and would
+have dinner at once, and then, with the bland, patronising smile
+which Donovan disliked so much, added that the little boy must
+certainly stay and dine with them too.
+
+Patronage was unpleasant, but then late dinner downstairs presented
+great attractions to seven-year-old Donovan, and quite turned the
+scale in Cousin Ellis's favour.  He sat bolt upright in one of the
+great, slippery leather chairs, so as to make the most of his height,
+and, though his grief was perfectly sincere, he nevertheless felt a
+certain melancholy pride in his new black suit, and a delightful
+sense of dignity and importance in dining with the two gentlemen.
+The conversation did not interest him at all, excepting once, when he
+heard his father's name mentioned, and then he listened attentively.
+
+"Captain Farrant appointed you as one of his trustees, I believe,"
+said the lawyer.
+
+"Yes, in the will he made at the time of his marriage, which was the
+most terse will ever heard of; very little more than, 'All to my
+wife!'"
+
+"Well, well," said the lawyer, laughing, "though it's against my own
+interests to say so, it's the concise wills which answer best; and no
+doubt this little man will be no real loser for receiving his
+property through his mother."
+
+Donovan grew very sleepy at dessert, and found it difficult to
+maintain his upright position.  The gentlemen sat long over their
+wine, and he was beginning to wonder drowsily why people eat and
+drink so much more in the dining-room than in the nursery, when he
+was roused by hearing his own name.
+
+"Look here, little man"--it was Cousin Ellis who was speaking--"are
+there any cards in the house?"
+
+"Cards?  Oh! yes, lots!" said Donovan, rubbing his eyes.  "They came
+after grandpapa's last stroke, with 'kind inquiries' on them, Mrs.
+Doery said."
+
+Cousin Ellis and the lawyer laughed heartily.
+
+"Not those cards, but playing-cards, Dono.  Didn't I see a card-table
+in the library?"
+
+But Donovan only looked completely puzzled, and his surprise was
+great when, on adjourning to the nest room, Ellis Farrant cleared one
+of the tables of the books and papers which had accumulated on it,
+and, with the slightest push, turned the top, disclosing in its
+centre two or three packs of cards.  In another minute the whole
+thing was transformed into a square of green baize, and Cousin Ellis
+and the lawyer were shuffling the cards for their game.  Donovan was
+not at all sleepy now.  He felt all a child's delighted curiosity in
+something which was new and mysterious, and then, too, what splendid
+things these would be to calculate with; he wished he had found their
+hiding-place before.
+
+"Do tell me their names.  Do let me watch you," he begged.
+
+And Ellis Farrant, who was in good humour at having found something
+to while away his dull evening, took the little boy on his knee, and
+while he played taught him his cards.
+
+To hear once was to remember with Donovan.  He not only learnt the
+names of the cards, but began to understand the principles of the
+game, and pleaded hard to be allowed to play too.  But neither Cousin
+Ellis nor the lawyer would believe in his capabilities for _écarté_.
+The lawyer was good-natured, however, and, seeing the grievous
+disappointment in the little boy's face, suggested that they should
+let him have a game of _vingt-et-un_, and Cousin Ellis complied,
+limiting the stakes to threepence, and supplying the penniless
+Donovan from his own pocket.
+
+Here was excitement indeed! calculation, judgment, memory, all called
+into action at once!  And the little pile of coins before him was
+growing with magic speed, and _vingt-et-un_ fell to him twice
+running, and the gentlemen told him laughingly that he was certainly
+born to win.  It ended long before he wished, and Cousin Ellis
+changed his winnings for him into great bright half-crowns, and he
+went off to bed proud, and excited, and victorious, to play
+_vingt-et-un_ in his dreams, only being disturbed now and then by a
+frightful nightmare of the queen of spades, grown to gigantic
+proportions, sitting on his chest and stifling him.  And so ended
+Donovan's first introduction to the "_tapis vert_."
+
+The next morning Cousin Ellis and the lawyer left for London, and the
+child was once more alone.  The terrible flatness and depression
+which he felt that day might have been a lesson to him in after-life,
+and he never did forget it, although his experience had to be bought
+more dearly.  He wandered drearily over the deserted house, and stole
+half timidly into the library, and looked again at the magical table,
+and felt the half-crowns in his pocket.  But the fascination and
+excitement of the previous evening were gone, and, now that the
+sensation of triumph and victory had died away, he did not greatly
+care for the money; his head ached, too; the dreary emptiness of the
+house oppressed him; he began to feel that his grandfather's absence
+made a great difference to him, and that there was something very
+forlorn in the idea of being left alone with Mrs. Doery.
+
+As time passed, however, he began to grow accustomed to things, and
+slipped back into much the same routine as before; meals, walks, and
+pretty frequent fights with Mrs. Doery, solitary games, fits of wild
+mischief, whippings, imprisonments, and vague wonder at the
+perplexities of life.  His greatest enjoyment was to steal down into
+the library, softly to draw aside one of the shutters, and, when
+quite secure that Mrs. Doery was not likely to interrupt him, to take
+those wonderful cards from their hiding-place, and, with a dummy
+adversary, to play the two games of which he had mastered the rules,
+and various others of his own invention, always playing his
+adversary's cards with the strictest impartiality.
+
+Another occupation there was too which helped to relieve the tedium
+of the long days, and this was carpentering.  He was very clever with
+his fingers, and, luckily, the housekeeper did not object much to
+this pursuit, so long, as she expressed it, "he didn't do no hurt to
+the carpets or hisself."  And Donovan obediently cleared up all his
+shavings and chips, and bravely endured his cuts and mishaps in
+silence.  He became very expert, and one unfortunate day, when Mrs.
+Doery had gone out to see a friend, his ambition rose to such a
+height that he resolved to take the nursery clock to pieces in order
+to see how it was made, intending, after he had thoroughly mastered
+the details, to put it together again.  So to work he went as soon as
+the housekeeper was well out of sight, and, with the aid of pincers,
+screw-drivers, and his dexterous little fingers, succeeded in
+dissecting the clock.  It was wonderfully interesting work, so
+interesting that, although he was studying the anatomy of the
+recorder of time, he forgot that there was such a thing as time at
+all, and that, although the hands of the clock were detached from its
+face, and the pendulum was lying motionless in his tool-box, the
+inexorable old gentleman with the scythe was travelling at his usual
+pace, and bringing tea-time and Mrs. Doery in his train.  He had just
+settled everything entirely to his own mind, and arranged which
+wheels to re-adjust first, when the door opened; he looked up--and
+there stood Mrs. Doery with a face of mingled astonishment and wrath
+which baffles description.  It was in vain that Donovan pleaded to be
+allowed to set it right, and showed how neatly he had arranged the
+pieces; Mrs. Doery would not listen to a word, but taking the culprit
+to his room, gave him the severest whipping be had ever had, and
+Donovan cried piteously, not at all on account of the pain, for he
+bore that like a little Trojan, but because he was quite sure he
+could put the clock together again if "Doughy" would only let him.
+
+It was not only by fits of mischief and wilfulness that Donovan gave
+the housekeeper trouble.  Soon after his grandfather's death, he
+began, as she said, "to plague the very life out of her with
+questions."  What was this? and why was that? and what was the reason
+of the other? pursued poor Mrs. Doery from morning till night.
+Taking the doctor's general directions into every detail, she had
+brought up her little charge in utter ignorance; he knew no more of
+religion than the veriest little heathen, and, though Mrs. Doery had
+taught him a short, doggerel prayer to say as he went to sleep, he
+was much too matter of fact and logical to care to say a charm
+addressed, as far as he knew, to no one in particular, and for which
+he could not understand the reason.  It did not make him any happier
+to say
+
+  "Three in One, and One in Three,
+  One in Three, save me."
+
+It only puzzled him completely, so he left off saying it.
+
+But the service at his grandfather's funeral had awakened his
+curiosity; he could not understand it, and he could not bear not
+being able to understand.  Mrs. Doery found herself obliged to give
+an answer now and then in order to quiet him, and Donovan learnt that
+people knelt down to "ask God for things," that "God was a Being who
+loved good people and hated bad people," and that "grandpapa had gone
+to heaven."
+
+"Why, that's what you always say when you're surprised!" he
+exclaimed, when this last piece of information had been received.
+"'Good heaven'! you know.  Is heaven a great surprise?  What is
+heaven?"
+
+"It's a nice place where good folk go," said Mrs. Doery, as if she
+grudged the admission.
+
+"Is it in India?"
+
+"Dear heart!  The ignorance of the child!  No, it's up in the sky."
+
+"What do they do up there?"
+
+"Sit and sing hymns and say prayers."
+
+"What, like they did at the funeral?"
+
+"Bless the child, I don't know; but you needn't trouble so about it,
+for it's only good boys as goes there."
+
+"I don't want to, I'm sure," said Donovan, defiantly.  "I hate
+sitting still."
+
+But his mind was not satisfied, and Mrs. Doery was questioned still
+further.
+
+"Doughy, what did they mean when they said grandpapa would never be
+ill again?"
+
+"Why, folks never are ill in heaven."
+
+"What, never?  Oh! that is another reason, then, why I don't want to
+go there, for the nicest time I ever had was when I'd the measles;
+you never were so little cross in your life, Doughy."  Mrs. Doery
+made no comment on this, and the little boy continued, rather
+anxiously, "I suppose, Doughy, you are very good, aren't you?"
+
+"Well, Master Donovan, I try to do my duty by the house, and by you,"
+said Doery, gloomily.
+
+"That's a good thing!" said Donovan, relieved, "for you see, Doughy,
+I don't think we'd better go to the same place, we should be happier
+away from each other."
+
+Mrs. Doery was wonderfully uncommunicative, but still the little boy
+occasionally plied her with fresh questions.  One day he came to her
+with a perplexity which had long been troubling him.
+
+"Doughy, who gives us homes?"
+
+"Your papa, of course, Master Donovan."
+
+"And who gave papa his home?"
+
+"Why, your poor grandpapa."
+
+"But who gave the first papa there ever was his home?"
+
+"Bless the child! how should I know'?  I don't suppose Adam had no
+home, so to speak."
+
+"Why are some people's homes so much happier than other people's?
+It's very unfair."
+
+"The good little boys are happy," said Mrs. Doery, "and the bad ones
+aren't."
+
+"Then, if I was never naughty, should I have a nice home like little
+Tom Harris, with a mother to take me out with her."
+
+"That's impossible to say," replied Mrs. Doery, gravely; "let alone
+the unlikeliness that you ever would be good, you see there's all
+them past times you was naughty; so you've not much of a chance."
+
+Poor Donovan went away sadly, and yet with a great sense of injustice
+in his childish mind.  That was almost the last question he troubled
+Mrs. Doery with.
+
+But, though he was represented as so incurably bad, he would not
+entirely bow to Mrs. Doery's opinion.  In his heart of hearts he
+cherished an ideal mother, who was to come back from India, make him
+good, and fill his life with happiness; she was to be just like Mrs.
+Harris, the grocer's wife, who took her little boy out walking, only
+her dresses were to be prettier, for the one thing he remembered
+about his mother was that she always wore pretty clothes.  The events
+of his life were the arrival of the Indian letters, in which "papa
+and mamma sent their love to Dono;" but these were few and far
+between, for, although Mrs. Doery wrote each mail to give an account
+of Master Donovan's well-being, neither Colonel Farrant nor his wife
+understood the importance of keeping their memory green in the
+remembrance of their child by writing to him.  The Colonel was
+absorbed in his work, Mrs. Farrant was absorbed in herself.  Donovan
+had his ideal mother, nevertheless, and would rehearse her return,
+and talk to her by the hour; and, when Mrs. Doery took him for his
+walk, he would put his hand a little out on the side away from the
+housekeeper, making believe that his mother held it, and would turn
+his face up, as if he were talking to her, just as he had seen little
+Torn Harris do.
+
+At last one never-to-be-forgotten day Donovan heard that he had a
+little baby sister, and before the novelty and delight of this news
+had had time to fade came a second letter with yet more wonderful
+tidings, a large letter for Mrs. Doery, and a little one enclosed for
+Donovan from his father--"Mamma and baby were coming to England to
+live with Dono, and he must take great care of them, and try to make
+them happy."
+
+Never had the little boy known such intense happiness, his dream was
+actually coming true, mother was coming, mother who would not mind
+answering his questions, who would make him good, who would rescue
+him from Mrs. Doery's whippings; he could watch the grocer's little
+boy now when he passed by without the least shade of envy, for in a
+few weeks would not he too be walking out with his mother?
+
+He watched the preparations which were being made in the house with a
+sense of exultant happiness, his grave quiet step changed to the
+bounding skipping pace of a merry child, and he was so good that even
+Mrs. Doery had no complaint to make of him.  Then at length came the
+real day of arrival, and Donovan's feverish impatience was at length
+rewarded; a carriage stopped at the door, Mrs. Doery, smoothing her
+black apron, bustled out into the hall, and Donovan rushed headlong
+down the white steps to throw his arms round his mother's neck.  But
+a sudden chill of disappointment fell on his heart, it was so
+different from everything he had planned.  The tall pretty-looking
+lady stooped to kiss him, indeed, and her voice was soft and refined,
+if somewhat languid, as she exclaimed, "Dear me! what a great boy you
+have grown!" but it was not his ideal at all, not the mother to whom
+he could tell everything, or who would care to know.  All this
+Donovan read in almost the first glance, as clearly as he had read
+Mrs. Doery's character on Southampton Pier.
+
+He followed everyone else into the house and shut the door, Mrs.
+Farrant was already on the way to her room, and did not notice him
+any further, and he was too bewildered and disappointed to care to
+bestow more than a glance on the ayah and the little baby in long
+clothes.
+
+By-and-by, he saw his mother again, but by this time he had grown
+shy, and only made the briefest responses to her questions, and
+before long she had disposed herself on the drawing-room sofa with a
+book, and he was left standing at a little distance with a Calcutta
+costume doll which she had just given him, and a very heavy heart.
+The doll only added to his disappointment.  Surely the ideal mother
+would have understood how little he, a boy of eight years old, would
+care for a doll?  He did not want presents at all, he wanted the
+dream-mother back again, and the conviction that she never could come
+back again was terrible indeed.  It got worse and worse as the
+evening advanced, and at last he could bear it no longer, but,
+wishing his mother good night, crept upstairs though it was not yet
+his bed time, and shutting himself into the cupboard among Mrs.
+Doery's dresses gave vent to his misery.  He did not often cry, even
+at the severest whipping, but that night he sobbed as though his
+heart would break; life had seemed hard and perplexing already, and
+now his ideal was gone!
+
+But the loving hand which was guiding Donovan, though he so little
+knew it, was not going to leave him desolate.  The perfectly loving
+sympathetic mother had indeed been denied him, but another treasure
+had been provided for him, which though it could not fill entirely
+the place of the dethroned ideal--the place which was to be always
+empty, always longing to be filled--was yet to call out his best and
+strongest feelings.
+
+When at last he checked his sobs and crept out of the cupboard once
+more, the first thing his eyes rested on was the new baby sister
+lying asleep in her cradle.  He was so miserable that he would even
+have thrown himself on Mrs. Doery's mercy if she had been there, and
+in another minute his tears broke forth again, as he pressed his face
+close to the baby's and told her all his trouble.  Of course she woke
+directly, but he still sobbed out his story.
+
+"Oh! baby, I'm so miserable--so miserable--mother isn't a bit what I
+expected."
+
+The baby began to cry feebly, and Donovan, penitent at having
+disturbed her, took her with great care and difficulty from her
+cradle, and began to rock her in his arms, and as she slept once
+more, and as her weight became more and more difficult to bear, a new
+sense of love and protecting care sprang up in the little boy's
+heart, and he was comforted.  Before long Mrs. Doery's step was heard
+without, and Donovan knew that if he were found he would certainly be
+whipped, but to try to put the baby back in the cradle would be sure
+to wake her, and she was worth suffering for.
+
+Mrs. Doery was of course wrathful, and poor Donovan went to bed
+supperless and sore both inwardly and outwardly; but, as his wistful
+eyes closed on that day of disappointment, he clung to his one
+comforting thought, the little sister, his new possession.
+
+As time passed on, the bond between these two grew stronger and
+stronger.  Donovan centred all the love of his heart on the frail
+little life of the baby.  The element of protection was his most
+pronounced characteristic; he was strong, and liked above all things
+to have something to take care of.  And Dot, as they called the tiny
+delicate little girl, needed any amount of attention.  From the very
+first everything seemed against her; her Indian birth, the trying
+voyage, the want of any real care from her mother, the miserable
+mismanagement of an incompetent doctor, all told grievously on the
+delicate little child.  She had only just learnt to walk, or rather
+to trust herself to be piloted along by Donovan, when she began to
+pine and dwindle, and before long the hesitating footsteps were
+hushed for ever, and Dot lay down upon the couch on which her little
+life-drama was to be acted.  A fall from her ayah's arms had, it was
+supposed, been the cause of the hip-disease which now declared
+itself.  For a time everyone was sorry and disturbed, but soon they
+became resigned, and talked about "the dispensations of Providence."
+Only Donovan nursed his sorrow and indignation apart, conscious, in
+spite of his youth, that it was human carelessness, human
+misunderstanding, which had ruined the only life he cared for.
+
+In the meantime, the lease of Oakdene Manor came to an end, and Mrs.
+Farrant and her children left the house where Donovan's childhood had
+been passed, to make their home in that place which old Mr. Farrant
+had planned so carefully, but had never seen.
+
+The change was in some respects good for Donovan; he was just old
+enough to take an interest in the property which would, he supposed,
+be his own some day, and he liked the free country life.  But in that
+comfortable English home, the apparent model of refinement and
+propriety, he grew up somehow into a very unsatisfactory mortal,
+unsatisfactory to himself as well as to others.  He was scarcely to
+be blamed perhaps, for, with the exception of little Dot, there was
+not one good influence in the Manor household.
+
+His mother's intense selfishness was perfectly apparent to him; he
+accepted it now with a sort of cold indifference when it only
+affected himself.  It was so, and there was an end of the matter; he
+just put up with it.  But, when Mrs. Farrant's entire absorption in
+self affected Dot, Donovan's indignation was always roused; there was
+an almost fierce gleam in his eyes when he found Dot suffering from
+the unmotherliness which had chilled and cramped his own life.
+
+What, however, told most fatally on him was his mother's conventional
+religion.  Mrs. Farrant went to church because it was proper, and
+insisted on her son's accompanying her.  He obeyed, but went with a
+sort of stubborn disgust, hating to share in this act of hypocrisy.
+He was naturally acute, and at a very early age he found out that the
+lives of all the professing Christians around him were diametrically
+opposed to the principles of Christianity.  It was all a hideous
+mockery, a hollow profession; even as a child he came to the sweeping
+conclusion, "They are all shams, these Christian people," and
+naturally went on to the resolution, "I at least will profess
+nothing."
+
+His views received a sort of amused encouragement from his tutor, a
+man whom Mrs. Farrant had been delighted to secure for her son,
+because he was "so highly connected, such a very gentlemanly man."
+Mr. Alleyne was, however, in spite of his high connections, entirely
+unfit to be the tutor of a boy like Donovan.  He was clever, but
+shallow, and he had dabbled in science, and rather prided himself on
+being able to appreciate the difficulties which great minds found in
+reconciling the new discoveries of science and the old faiths.  He
+quoted Tyndall and Huxley with great aptness, and, though on occasion
+he was quite capable of appearing to be exceedingly orthodox, yet he
+was rather fond of styling himself an Agnostic when quite sure of his
+audience.  He was not a sincere man; he liked talking of his
+"intellectual difficulties," and regarded scepticism as "not bad form
+now-a-days."  When Mr. Alleyne found that his pupil was, as he termed
+it, "a thorough-going young atheist," he was a little amused and a
+good deal interested.  He was not at all unwilling to forsake the
+more ordinary routine, and, throwing aside the classics, he allowed
+Donovan to devote most of his time to scientific subjects, which were
+far more interesting to both teacher and pupil.
+
+Donovan had no respect for his tutor, but he was a good deal
+influenced by him.  When by his father's desire he was sent at last
+to a public school, he was just in the state to derive all the evil
+and none of the good from school life.  He had grown up in isolation,
+and he was naturally reserved, so that he did not easily make
+friends, and he was too wilful and incomprehensible to be a favourite
+with the masters.  In mathematics, indeed, he could beat every
+opponent with ease, and carried off several prizes, but his success
+was merely that of natural talent, and never of industry, so that
+even to himself it brought little satisfaction.
+
+And all the time slowly strengthening and developing was the intense
+love of play which had shown itself in his earliest childhood.  Ellis
+Farrant had crossed his path several times since their first meeting,
+and Donovan, though he did not like his cousin, always enjoyed his
+visits, for then his passion could be gratified, and his monotonous
+and already unsatisfying life could be broken by the most delicious
+of all excitements.
+
+Later on came the temptation at school; the suggestion made by a
+weaker and more timid boy was carried out unscrupulously by Donovan,
+his conscience completely overmastered by the thirst for
+self-gratification.  Then followed exposure, disgrace, some
+injustice, and a most bitter humiliation.
+
+His school-days were abruptly ended.  What was now to become of him?
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+THE TREMAINS OF PORTHKERRAN.
+
+  "But faith beyond our sight may go,"
+  He said; "the gracious Fatherhood
+  Can only know above, below,
+  Eternal purposes of good.
+  From our free heritage of will
+  The bitter springs of pain and ill
+  Flow only in all worlds.  The perfect day
+  Of God is shadowless, and love is love alway."
+                                            WHITTIER.
+
+
+Golden sunshine, clear blue sky, the fresh green of spring, and a
+light delicious sea breeze--all this outward beauty and gladness
+there was on the morning after Colonel Farrant and his son had
+arrived at Plymouth.  And yet surely never had heart felt more heavy,
+never had existence felt more unbearable, than Donovan's as he walked
+slowly and dejectedly on the Hoe.  Colonel Farrant had left the hotel
+early in order to get his business settled, and Donovan, with a
+restless craving for something to divert his mind from his disgrace,
+had wandered out alone.  He was not very successful in his search for
+peace, for the more he struggled to find interest or diversion in all
+around, the more he felt the bitter pangs of remorse and angry
+resentment.  Groups of happy noisy children were playing on the
+grass, and he thought of his own lonely repressed childhood, and felt
+that the lots of men were unjustly and unequally arranged.  His head
+ached miserably from the effects of yesterday's blow, and the
+gauntleting had left him so stiff and bruised that every movement was
+painful; the mere physical discomfort made it impossible for him to
+forget himself or his troubles for a minute.
+
+He stood on the highest point of the Hoe, and looked at the exquisite
+view before him--the stately ships at anchor in the Sound, Drake's
+Island, with its miniature citadel, Mount Edgcumbe, with its
+beautifully wooded banks, and its foliage fringing the water, the
+clear sharply-defined line of the breakwater, and, far out over the
+sparkling dancing waves, the distant Eddystone.  And yet, though he
+could not be altogether insensible to the beauty of the scene, the
+brightness and rejoicing, even the industry and success which he saw,
+made him more angry and resentful, more hopeless and despairing.  Was
+not he disgraced, humiliated? and, at the same time, had not his
+faults been unjustly exaggerated, his punishment unjustly given?
+Life seemed one long perplexity, and now he felt utterly hopeless,
+utterly purposeless, for success and pleasure had been his chief
+objects hitherto, and now he felt that he had failed shamefully, and
+that the failure was so great that all pleasure in life was over.
+
+Yet, in spite of his remorse and misery, he was neither repentant nor
+humble, for Mrs. Doery's early training had ruined him in this
+respect.  The soft, pliable years of his childhood had been left in
+utter ignorance, and when his powers of reason and calculation had
+been well roused and brought into action, he was presented with the
+image of a God always watching to detect sin, always in readiness to
+punish, a hard, stern, inexorable Judge, who admitted fortunate
+people to heaven, and dismissed unfortunate people to hell, with
+strict impartiality and entire absence of feeling.  No wonder that an
+angry sense of injustice grew up in Donovan's heart, no wonder that
+he turned from the cruelly false representation which was offered
+him, and steadily refused to believe in it.  And when, in course of
+time, he heard other and truer views than these, his heart had grown
+hard, and he had become so accustomed to rely on himself and his
+natural strength of will that he felt no need of higher help.
+Moreover, religion required that he should own himself to be utterly
+weak and God all-powerful, and he would own neither the one nor the
+other.  Even now, with his sense of failure and misery, he would not
+yield; fate had been against him, he was sorry to have brought
+disgrace on his father, he was angry and indignant with the world,
+and dissatisfied with himself, but that was all.
+
+Two vessels in the Sound had just weighed anchor.  He watched them
+with a listless interest, wondering whither they were bound, and what
+would become of them; whether they would safely reach their
+destination, or whether a cruel fate would cast them on rocks or
+quicksands, to be hopelessly, irretrievably wrecked.  A fate to be
+struggled against!  It was his notion of life; and, as the stately
+ships left the harbour and sailed out into the immeasurable expanse
+beyond, he turned away with a firmer, more decided step, and a less
+dejected heart; fate had been against him all his life, but he would
+not despair.  He would conquer fate by the power of his will, he
+would live yet to be an honour to his father!
+
+Colonel Farrant's business did not detain him very long, and, as soon
+as lunch was over, he suggested that they might as well at least
+begin their tour that afternoon.  Donovan was relieved at the
+proposal, and assisted in the choice of a horse and dog-cart with
+resolute if somewhat forced cheerfulness.  His father was further
+than ever from understanding him now, and began to doubt whether the
+driving tour would be a success; but, with all his perplexing
+contradictions, Donovan was very loveable, and his eager questions as
+to the Colonel's Indian life could not but be gratifying to the
+father's heart.  He, for his part, however, was a much less
+successful questioner, and could elicit very little as to his son's
+past life, for Donovan was reserved by nature, and had been made
+still more so by his education.  He drew an impenetrable veil over
+his childhood, and answered all allusions to his mother with quick
+abrupt monosyllables; for he was far too proud to be a grumbler, and
+indeed his grievances were too deep to bear speaking of.  Little Dot
+was the only subject upon which he talked naturally and unreservedly,
+and Colonel Farrant was glad to make the most of this.
+
+Once, inadvertently, they touched on the subject of his school
+disgrace.
+
+"How is your forehead to-day?" asked the Colonel, after they had
+driven some little way in silence.
+
+"Painful; but not worse than might be expected," replied Donovan.
+"It's hard lines to have to suffer from a rascally dishonourable
+breach of rules."
+
+"I'm afraid, Dono, you are hardly in a position to talk about
+breaches of honour," said his father, gravely and sadly.
+
+It was his only word of reproach, if reproach it could be called, but
+its gentleness made Donovan feel more than ever what a man his father
+was, and the thought of the trouble he had brought upon him
+overwhelmed him anew with shame and sorrow.
+
+Colonel Farrant, noticing the sudden change of expression, was
+touched, and hastily changed the subject.  Before long, too, the
+weather claimed their attention, the sky, which had been bright and
+clear when they left Plymouth, was now black and threatening, while
+the light breeze of the morning was growing stronger and keener.
+Everything betokened a storm, and before long the rain descended in
+torrents, drenching the occupants of the dog-cart to the skin, while
+the western wind blew so strongly and gustily that to hold an
+umbrella was out of the question.  For himself Donovan rather enjoyed
+it.  There was a sort of pleasure in being buffeted by wind and rain,
+but he was anxious for his father, as he knew he was subject to
+severe attacks of rheumatism, consequent on rheumatic fever.  They
+resolved to stop at the first place they came to, and at last, to
+their relief, they reached a quaint little fishing town, which
+boasted a very fair inn.
+
+But, in spite of warm rooms, a good dinner, and a change of clothes,
+Donovan's fears were realized.  The next day his father was entirely
+incapacitated by rheumatism, and to proceed was an impossibility; the
+rain, too, continued without intermission, and everything seemed to
+augur some little stay at Porthkerran.
+
+The day passed slowly and wearily.  Donovan wrote letters at his
+father's dictation, read the _Western Morning News_ from beginning to
+end, and finally set out, notwithstanding the rain, to reconnoitre
+the place.  On coming in again, he found his father so much worse,
+and suffering such pain from his heart, that he tried hard to get
+leave to go for the doctor, but Colonel Farrant did not take to the
+idea.
+
+"There is nothing to be done.  I've had these attacks dozens of
+times," he replied, reassuringly.  "Besides, ten to one we should
+only find a quack in this outlandish place."
+
+"The landlord says there's a first-rate doctor named Tremain, do let
+me send a line to him," said Donovan, anxiously.
+
+"Well, well, perhaps if I'm not better to-morrow we'll have him.  I'm
+sorry to keep you in this dull place, my boy, but to-morrow if it's
+fine we will try to push on."
+
+Colonel Farrant spoke cheerfully, and as if he really hoped to be
+well again before long, and yet Donovan could not shake off an uneasy
+dissatisfied feeling, which returned to him more and more strongly
+after each visit to his father's room.  They had a great deal of talk
+that evening, and Donovan began to feel that home would be very
+different now that his father had returned, more like the ideal home
+he used to fancy.  Colonel Farrant, too, was immensely relieved and
+cheered, for his sickness and helplessness had brought to light many
+of Donovan's best qualities, his strength, his tenderness, and his
+ready observance, while his evident anxiety seemed to speak well for
+his awakening love.
+
+It would be hard to say which was the more disappointed when, on the
+Thursday morning, Colonel Farrant proved to be rather worse than
+better.  He was suffering so much, when Donovan went into his room in
+the early morning, that he could no longer say anything against the
+plan for calling Dr. Tremain, and Donovan dispatched a messenger at
+once with a note to the doctor, and before half an hour had passed
+was called down into the little sitting-room to receive him.
+
+Dr. Tremain was standing by the window when he entered, and Donovan,
+glancing at him rather curiously, was at once prepossessed in his
+favour.  He was a middle-aged man, but looked younger than he really
+was, in spite of evident signs of ill-health; his brown eyes were
+clear and shining, and there was a kindly light in them which was
+very attractive, his forehead was high and very finely developed, his
+features were regular and good, while a long light brown beard
+concealed the one defect of the face, a slightly receding chin.
+
+Donovan was a rather good judge of character; his first sensation was
+one of relief that he had found a man whom he could trust, and who
+would probably understand his father's case; his next was one of
+surprise that anyone so refined, and evidently so clever, should
+remain buried in a Cornish village.  He led the way at once to
+Colonel Farrant's room, and then waited anxiously below for the
+report.  The doctor's visit was a long one, and when at length he
+came downstairs Donovan was alarmed to find that he spoke very
+seriously of Colonel Farrant's illness.  The rheumatic fever had left
+his heart weak, of that Donovan was aware, but Dr. Tremain spoke of
+really grave symptoms of further mischief, aggravated, no doubt, by
+the fatigue of his return from India, and by the chill which he had
+taken during the drive to Porthkerran.
+
+"And any mental shock, any trouble, would that be likely to affect
+him?" asked Donovan, speaking calmly though his heart began to beat
+very uncomfortably:
+
+"It might, yes, it probably would," replied the doctor, "but he told
+me of nothing of the sort."
+
+"No, I didn't think he would," said Donovan, controlling his voice
+with difficulty, "but he has had great and unexpected trouble; I have
+given him trouble."
+
+The confession, coming from one evidently so reserved, had a strange
+pathos; Dr. Tremain held out his hand warmly.
+
+"That must make the anxiety doubly trying to you; but do not be
+despondent, this afternoon I may be able to give a better account; in
+the meantime only see that your father is kept perfectly quiet."
+
+Donovan had been miserable enough before, but this news added tenfold
+to his misery.  At Colonel Farrant's request, he wrote at once to his
+mother, giving her full particulars of his father's state, and
+describing the kind of accommodation which was to be had at
+Porthkerran, if she thought of coming down to nurse him; he added
+these details because his father told him to, but he himself did not
+think for a moment that she would come, she always shrank from
+witnessing pain, and even disliked being in little Dot's room for any
+length of time.
+
+As Donovan wrote, Colonel Farrant lay perfectly still, thinking
+deeply, and when in the afternoon Dr. Tremain made his second visit,
+and could still give no more favourable report, the subject of his
+anxiety was revealed.
+
+"Doctor, have you any lawyer in the place who would draw up a will
+for me?"
+
+"There is one ordinarily," said Dr. Tremain.  "But Mr. Turner is away
+now; I am afraid there is no one nearer than Plymouth."
+
+"I have been thinking things over," said the Colonel.  "It is many
+years since my former will was made, and, owing to many changes, I
+feel that it will be better to make an alteration.  I feel fidgety
+and anxious to get things settled, it is provoking that there is no
+lawyer here."
+
+"I do not know that you need feel any immediate anxiety," said the
+doctor; "what I have told you need not necessarily affect your life
+for many years."
+
+"No, but it may affect it at any moment," said the Colonel, gravely.
+"I want to be prepared, I want to have everything in order for my
+boy."
+
+Dr. Tremain, aware that worry or anxiety was very bad for his
+patient, thought of the best means of re-assuring his mind, and,
+after a moment's consideration, suggested that he should write both
+briefly and clearly his own wishes until a formal will could be drawn
+up.  Colonel Farrant was much relieved by the idea, and directed the
+doctor to ask Donovan for a sheet of paper, upon which Dr. Tremain
+wrote at his dictation a clear and properly worded form, expressing
+his desire to devise and bequeath the bulk of his property to his
+son, Donovan Farrant, and providing an ample allowance for his widow
+during her life.  Then one of the servants and the doctor himself
+witnessed the will, and the Colonel lay back again relieved and
+satisfied.
+
+They were still talking on the subject when Donovan's voice was heard
+without; it was just post time, and he knew his father had a letter
+to send.
+
+"I do not wish my son to see this, I wish him to know nothing of the
+transaction," said the Colonel, quickly.
+
+Dr. Tremain had, however, already given the word of admittance, and
+Colonel Farrant.  starting up hurriedly, took the will from the table
+and put it into the doctor's hand.
+
+"Take it, take it, and not a word."
+
+There was a sudden pause; Donovan came towards the bed just in time
+to see his father fall forward, and to hear a slight sound in his
+throat, of which he did not know the meaning.  Dr. Tremain gave an
+inarticulate exclamation, raised the inanimate form and bent down
+close to it; then he glanced to the other side of the bed, to that
+other form almost as still and inanimate, to that other face, white,
+rigid, and agonized, and saw there was no need of words; Donovan
+understood that his father was dead.
+
+All that a thoroughly good, thoroughly unselfish man can do at such a
+time Dr. Tremain did.  He felt the most intense pity for Donovan left
+thus utterly alone, with a burden of remorse on his conscience, and
+this overwhelming grief at his heart; but it was difficult to be of
+much use to one so completely stunned and paralysed, and the doctor
+could only persuade him to leave the room.
+
+Donovan moved away mechanically, and went down below to the little
+sitting-room.  He felt scarcely anything but a dim, vague, undefined
+horror, a consciousness of a sudden blank in his life.  The shock had
+been so great that, for the time, all his faculties were numbed, and
+he scarcely heard the doctor's words; he stood by the mantelpiece
+perfectly silent, perfectly motionless, with his eyes fixed on the
+centre ornament, a little tawdry shell house mounted on a board
+strewn with dried seaweeds.  How many times he had dreamily
+calculated the number of Cornish cowries which would be needed to
+adorn fifty houses he did not know, but he was roused at length by
+the doctor's hand on his shoulder.
+
+"If I can be of any use in sending off any telegrams for you, or
+helping you in any other way, pray tell me."
+
+The words seemed to rouse Donovan, the rigid stillness of his face
+changed suddenly, the look of suffering deepened.
+
+"My mother, I must let her know."
+
+He sat down by the table and hid his face in his hands, battling with
+his emotion.  The doctor had brought paper and pen; he offered to
+write the telegram, but at the proposal Donovan raised his head once
+more, and, with perfect control and calmness, took the pen in his
+hand and wrote, without a moment's pause or hesitation, the brief
+words which were to convey the news of Colonel Farrant's death to the
+rector of the church near Oakdene.  He was the only person fit to
+break the news to Mrs. Farrant, the only person Donovan could think
+of at all, except Mrs. Doery or Ellis Farrant, and from them he
+instinctively shrank.
+
+Dr. Tremain promised to see that the message was sent, and then very
+reluctantly took leave, trying, as he walked along the wet muddy
+road, to think of any means by which he could help the poor boy who
+seemed left in such a miserable friendless state.  But it was a
+difficult question, and the doctor had arrived at no satisfactory
+solution by the time he had passed through the village and reached
+the gabled ivy-covered house where he lived.
+
+Trenant was a delightfully comfortable house, prettily furnished,
+exquisitely neat, and in every way thoroughly well ordered.  Some one
+was singing on the staircase as Dr. Tremain opened the front door,
+and as he took off his wet coat there was a sound of hurrying
+footsteps, and a pretty bright-looking girl of about sixteen ran to
+meet him.
+
+"Papa, how long you have been out, and how shockingly wet you are!"
+
+"Yes, it is raining heavily," said the doctor, taking one of the soft
+little hands in his as he crossed the hall.  "Is your mother in,
+Gladys?"
+
+"Yes, she's with the children in the drawing-room, and we've kept
+some tea for you.  I'll go and see to it," and she ran off, finishing
+the song which had been interrupted, while her father went into the
+drawing-room.
+
+Gladys was the eldest daughter of the house, and when her parents had
+chosen her name--a name which they considered as emblematic of
+happiness, in spite of certain questionings which had arisen among
+name fanciers on the subject--it would seem that some unseen fairy
+godmother had really bestowed that best of all gifts on their child,
+for Gladys was the happiest, most contented, sunshiny little person
+imaginable.  Everything about her looked happy, her sunny
+golden-brown hair, her bright, well-opened, grey eyes, her laughing
+mouth, her little unformed nose, her dimpled chin, and fresh glowing
+complexion.  She had, of course, her ups and downs like most people,
+but she was too unselfish to be depressed for any length of time, and
+too easy and accommodating to make much of such troubles and
+difficulties as she had.
+
+In a few minutes the tea was ready, and Gladys, with a dainty little
+hand-tray filled with a plate of crisp home-made biscuits, and the
+cup and saucer, crossed the hall once more, passed the little
+conservatory where two canaries were singing with all their might,
+and entered the drawing-room, in which she found her father and
+mother talking together.
+
+"They are strangers.  The father had just returned from India," Dr.
+Tremain was saying.  "And they were taking a driving tour in
+Cornwall; it's the saddest thing I've heard for a long time.  Without
+the slightest preparation the poor fellow is left in this way,
+without a friend near him."
+
+"He is quite alone then at the inn?" asked Mrs. Tremain.
+
+"Perfectly alone, and I don't see how we are to help him.  I thought
+of asking him here, but I feel sure he wouldn't come."
+
+"Poor boy!  How old is he?"
+
+"About eighteen, I believe; but he's decidedly old for his age, he is
+a man compared with Dick."
+
+"Oh!  Dick never will grow old," said the mother, with a little sigh,
+as she remembered how far away was the sailor son.  "But we cannot
+leave this poor Mr. Farrant without any sympathy.  Would it be any
+use if I went to see him!"
+
+"It would be the very best thing possible," said the doctor, "if you
+do not shrink from it too much.  I am afraid you will find it very
+difficult to make any way with him, but I can't think of any other
+plan for helping him."
+
+"I will try to see him, then, after dinner," said Mrs. Tremain.
+
+"Is Mr. Farrant's father dead?" asked Gladys, as her father left the
+room.
+
+"Yes, dear, quite suddenly.  The shock must have been terrible to the
+poor boy."
+
+"Oh! mother, how will you comfort him?  How dreadful it must be to
+have such sorrow all alone!"
+
+"Yes, terrible indeed," said Mrs. Tremain.  "I am afraid we cannot do
+very much to comfort him, dear Gladys, but God can comfort him, and
+perhaps He may use us as His messengers of comfort; at any rate we
+can all pray for him."
+
+"Yes, we can do that.  But, mother,"--and a shade crossed Gladys'
+bright face--"it does seem so strange that some people should have so
+much more trouble than others.  Dick and I, for instance, we have had
+scarcely anything but happiness all our lives.  Of course Dick's
+going away is always sad, but I mean we've had no great sorrows.
+Doesn't it seem almost unfair, unjust, that lives should be so
+unequal?"
+
+"It must seem so, until we can realize that we are all the children
+of a loving Father, who gives to everyone just what is best for them.
+If we remember that God's will is to draw us all nearer Him, to fit
+us for the greatest happiness of all, we shall surely trust Him to
+choose our joys and sorrows, and those of everyone else too."
+
+"And yet, mother, it seems very often as if the troubles were just
+the very worst things for us, the things that made us go wrong.
+Think of poor Ben Trevethan at the forge; his wife died, and directly
+afterwards his son grew so wild, and took to drinking, and then just
+when Ben hoped to steady him again he was laid up for months and
+months, and the son grew worse, and at last ran away; it seems as if
+it would have been so much better if all those troubles hadn't
+happened together, as if the son would have had so much more chance
+of getting right."
+
+"Yes, it seems so to us, dear," said Mrs. Tremain; "but you must
+remember that we cannot see the pattern which our lives are weaving,
+we can only go on bit by bit, remembering that there is a pattern,
+and that one day we shall understand why the dark shades, and the
+long plain pieces, and the bright glad colours were sent us.  Ben
+Trevethan's life, and his son's too, will not be wasted, you may be
+sure; they will help to influence, to guide, or to warn other lives,
+all the time that they are weaving their pattern."
+
+"Our pattern is very bright just now," said Gladys, raising her happy
+contented face for a kiss.  "And baby Nesta is the very brightest
+sunniest part of it all!" and she sprang up to receive from the nurse
+the little white-robed baby, the new delight and treasure of the
+whole house.
+
+Her song was taken up once more as she walked to and fro with her
+little charge, and the voices of the other children at their play
+came from the further end of the room, while Mrs. Tremain's thoughts
+reverted to the sad story she had heard, and to the work which lay
+before her that evening.
+
+Her task was no easy one; she trembled a little when she was actually
+standing in the passage of the inn, having sent a messenger to ask if
+Mr. Farrant would see her.  Dr. Tremain had been called out, and she
+had been obliged to come alone; this made the interview seem all the
+more formidable, but she was too unselfish to shrink from the
+difficulty.  The messenger returned quickly, and she was ushered into
+the little sitting-room, speedily forgetting all thought of herself
+as she saw what utter misery was written on Donovan's face.  He came
+forward to meet her, and bowed gravely; then, as she held out her
+hand with a few words of explanation and sympathy, he took it in his,
+answered briefly but courteously, and drew a chair towards the fire
+for her.  She sat down, and he fell back into his former position,
+with his elbows resting on the mantelpiece and his face half hidden,
+as if he had done all that courtesy required of him, and intended to
+return to his own thoughts.
+
+Mrs. Tremain's voice roused him; it was a very low gentle voice, and
+fell pleasantly on his ear.
+
+"I cannot bear to think of your being all alone here," she began.
+"This inn seems so forlorn and comfortless for you.  I wish we could
+persuade you to come to our house, you should be perfectly quiet and
+undisturbed."
+
+She hardly thought that he would consent to this plan, but it made an
+opening for conversation, and it roused Donovan at once; his tone, as
+he replied, was more than merely courteous, and his sad eyes met hers
+fully.
+
+"You are very kind and good to think of it, but I don't think I can
+come, thank you; to-morrow my mother will be here, and to-night I
+can't leave--I would rather----" he broke off hastily, unable to
+control his distress.
+
+"You must do just what you like best," said Mrs. Tremain; "I can
+quite understand your feeling."
+
+"It would be of no use," continued Donovan, recovering himself, but
+speaking in a low constrained voice.  "Can I escape from my thoughts
+at your house any more than here?  Nothing can make misery and
+remorse bearable."
+
+"I suppose we all see the full beauty and goodness of those we love
+only when we lose them," said Mrs. Tremain, not quite understanding
+him, "and then we wish we had often acted differently to them; those
+bitter regrets are very hard to bear."
+
+"Ah! you don't know, you can't understand what reason for remorse I
+have!" cried Donovan; and then he looked steadily at Mrs. Tremain for
+a minute, to decide whether he should tell her of his disgrace or not.
+
+He saw a sweet, gentle, motherly face, a calm serene forehead, smooth
+bands of dark hair beginning to turn grey, delicately-arched and
+pencilled eyebrows, and dark grey eyes, which seemed to shine right
+into his, eyes which were clear, and unswerving, and truthful, yet
+full of tender sympathy.
+
+His voice trembled a little, but yet it was a relief to him when he
+said, with lowered eyelids, and a burning flush on his cheek, "I have
+disgraced my father."
+
+Before long Mrs. Tremain had heard all the particulars of his trouble
+at school, and had listened sadly to his account of the journey, and
+of his father's illness.  She was sure that it was good for him to
+talk; if she had known that he had never in his whole life had such a
+disburdening, she might have encouraged him still more.  She gave him
+all her sympathy, and when at length he relapsed into silence it was
+with a look of less hopeless misery on his face.  Mrs. Tremain
+glanced round the room then, and saw that the meal prepared on the
+table was untouched.
+
+"I have been keeping you from dinner!" she exclaimed, regretfully.
+
+"No, indeed.  I want nothing.  I could not eat," said Donovan,
+decidedly.
+
+Mrs. Tremain hardly felt surprised as she looked at the tough steak
+and greasy gravy, now perfectly cold.
+
+"You must eat something," she said, assuming a gentle authority over
+him, which he was not at all inclined to resist.  "Give me _carte
+blanche_ with the landlady, and you shall have something you can eat
+directly.  This must have been waiting."
+
+"Yes, it has been up an hour or two," said Donovan, wearily, and he
+threw himself back in an arm-chair, while Mrs. Tremain left the room,
+returning before long with some hot coffee and a far more appetizing
+repast.  She sat down with him, taking some coffee herself, and
+inducing him both to eat and to talk; and when at last she was
+obliged to go he was really cheered and refreshed.
+
+"Mrs. Farrant will be here to-morrow," she said, at parting.  "That
+will be a comfort to you."
+
+Donovan did not answer.  He would not show what his real feeling on
+the subject was, but only hardened his face, and, thanking Mrs.
+Tremain for her kindness, wished her good-bye.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+"MY ONLY SON, DONOVAN."
+
+  So drives self-love through just, and through unjust,
+  To one man's pow'r, ambition, lucre, lust.
+                                                POPE.
+
+
+On the following evening the little inn-parlour witnessed a very
+different scene.  Donovan, who had known perfectly well what to
+expect, had, after a night and day of misery, settled down into a
+stony speechless sorrow, largely mingled now with bitterness, for the
+meeting with his mother had been most painful.
+
+The trouble had sharpened Mrs. Farrant, and in the selfishness of her
+grief she made not the slightest allowance for the feelings of other
+people.  Without intentional cruelty, without indeed thinking at all,
+she was absolutely merciless.  Donovan had tried hard to meet her
+affectionately.  Even his stiff reserve had melted in the greatness
+and honesty of his desire to comfort her.  Anyone not entirely
+absorbed in self, must have seen and accepted such very real
+sympathy, but Mrs. Farrant saw nothing, thought of nothing, but
+wearied with her journey, unnerved by the sudden shock, vented her
+petulant grief on the only victim at hand.
+
+It was a very grievous scene.  On the sofa lay the widow, a beautiful
+and still young-looking woman, her face distorted now, however, by
+passionate sorrow, and wet with tears--that violent stormy grief
+which is soon spent, and which even already was mixed with angry
+reproaches.  Standing by the window, in an attitude expressing rigid
+endurance, was the son, his face very still and quiet in contrast to
+his mother's, but with an indescribable bitterness about it which
+almost overpowered the sadness.  He had learnt quickly that his
+presence was irritating instead of comforting to his mother.  In a
+sort of proud hopelessness he moved away from her, and stood looking
+out across the dreary street to the grey sea beyond, while, as if in
+a sort of dream, he heard all that was going on: the ceaseless drip
+of the rain, the distant breaking of the waves upon the shore, the
+weary reiteration of sobs and reproaches from within.  Harder and
+harder grew his face as he listened, just because his heart was
+anything but hard, and ached and smarted under that "continual
+dropping."  How long it went on he had not the faintest idea, but it
+seemed to him that he had heard many times of his "disgrace," had
+often winced at the mention of his father's name, had silently
+listened to many unjust accusations, had long felt the grating
+incongruity of this stormy passion with the silent room of death
+above.  It was a relief when at length, exhausted with her sorrow,
+Mrs. Farrant fell asleep.  He drew nearer then, and stood silently
+watching her, looked at her soft brown hair, her faultless features,
+her singularly delicate complexion.  It seemed incredible that one so
+beautiful and gentle-looking could have uttered such cruel
+reproaches, but it was by no means surprising to Donovan.  He had
+been quite prepared for it, had learnt many years ago that his mother
+was a mother only in name, that the outgoing love of true motherhood
+was not in her, that the most he could ever expect for himself or Dot
+was a ghastly shadow in place of a reality.  He had been a fool to
+think of comforting her!  He would waste no more hopes on anything so
+hopeless.  He flung back to the window, yet returned to spread a
+shawl over her feet.
+
+The wretched evening wore on, Mrs. Farrant awoke, and with scarcely a
+word went upstairs to bed.  Once more the room was lonely and
+still--infinitely more lonely even than it had been on the previous
+evening, for now Donovan's whole being was crying out at the
+injustice of its loneliness.  Why, when he would willingly have shown
+tenderness and love, was he coldly repulsed?  Why was he cut off from
+all sympathy?  What was the meaning of the pain which had
+relentlessly pursued him from his very childhood?  To these questions
+what answer could he make?--all seemed to him hopeless confusion and
+injustice.  If for a moment his mind did revert to the thought of a
+Providence ruling over all, it was only to be as quickly repelled by
+the vision of the God presented to him in his childhood, for it was
+always to this teaching that he recurred when he allowed the subject
+to enter his thoughts at all.  Mrs. Doery's misrepresentation had
+left its impress on his mind, while in later years the truths he had
+heard had always been so resolutely and speedily rejected that they
+had failed to leave their mark.
+
+The room began to grow intolerable to him; he rushed out into the
+open air, and breathed more freely as the cold night wind blew upon
+him.  The rain was still falling fast, but he scarcely noticed it as
+he strode on recklessly.  The mere mechanical exercise was in itself
+soothing, and he might have trudged along the muddy road for an
+indefinite time, had not his attention been attracted by a distant
+sound of music.  Drawing nearer, he found that the house from which
+it proceeded was Dr. Tremain's, and instinctively he approached one
+of the windows, and looked through the half-opened Venetian blind at
+the scene within.
+
+Not a detail of that picture escaped him.  A soft light falling
+through the opal lamp globe illumined the room, the pale French grey
+walls, the running oak-leaf patterned carpet, the deep crimson
+curtains, all harmonized to perfection.  Seated at the piano was
+Gladys Tremain, her bright hair gathered back from her face, and her
+complexion, which was at times almost too highly coloured, looking
+absolutely perfect in the mellow lamp-light.  She wore a very simple
+white dress, and her small soft hands seemed to touch the keys almost
+caressingly.
+
+Donovan forgot his sorrow for a moment, and felt vexed when, as she
+stopped playing, the spell which had bound him was for the time
+broken by a voice which came from within the room.
+
+"Sing something, Gladys; I'm tired of those old 'songs without
+words,'" and the speaker crossed the room, and came close to the
+piano, so that Donovan could see he was a boy of about his own age,
+of slight build and fair complexion, but not sufficiently like Gladys
+to be any relation, he fancied.
+
+"You dare to grow tired of Mendelssohn!" said Gladys, with a fine
+show of indignation.  "You boys have no taste whatever; one might as
+well play to--to----"  She paused for a comparison.
+
+"To the heathen Chinee," suggested her companion.  "'What a lot of
+chop-sticks, bombs, and gongs!'--you remember the song, of course.
+That's Chinese art, you know."
+
+Gladys laughed, and there was a merry little squabble carried on, as
+the two tried to play the air of the old nursery rhyme.
+
+"Well, now will you sing after all?" said the boy at last; "we will
+allow, if you like, that it's a case of pearls before swine."
+
+"Don't, Stephen," and Gladys really looked vexed.
+
+"Why, isn't even that allowable?  I didn't know you were such a
+little Puritan."
+
+"You know I can't bear that kind of thing; it is such a pity to
+use----"
+
+"A fellow can't be always picking his words--I'm sure it's as good as
+a proverb now," interrupted Stephen.  "If you only knew what it was
+to have such a strait-laced mother as I have, you----"
+
+"Find me a song," said Gladys, handing him a portfolio, and, though
+she spoke sweetly, there was a certain grave dignity in her tone.
+
+The choice was soon made, but Donovan was so absorbed in watching
+Gladys that he scarcely noticed the first verse of the song, until a
+mournful refrain of "Strangers yet" recalled him painfully to
+himself.  With strained attention he listened to the remaining
+verses:--
+
+  "After childhood's winning ways,
+  After care and blame and praise,
+  Counsel asked and wisdom given,
+  After mutual prayers to heaven,
+  Child and parent scarce regret
+  When they part are strangers yet.
+
+  "Will it evermore be thus,
+  Spirits still impervious?
+  Shall we never fairly stand
+  Soul to soul and hand to hand?
+  Are the bonds eternal set
+  To retain us strangers yet?"
+
+
+"Absurdly impossible," was Stephen's comment at the end.  "I had no
+idea it meant that kind of strangers--very dull too."
+
+"The song or the parents?" asked Gladys, laughing.  "In either case
+your answer will be equally rude.  Here is papa," she continued, as
+Dr. Tremain came into the room.  "I shall tell him what a teaze you
+are, Stephen; you're really getting worse than Dick."
+
+"What is that doleful song?" asked the doctor, putting his hand on
+her shoulder as he bent down to look at the piece of music.
+"'Strangers yet!' Who were the strangers?"
+
+"A parent and child, papa, and Stephen declares that it's absurdly
+impossible."
+
+"Of course it is!" said Stephen, hotly.  "Why, do you think when my
+father returns from his voyages that he feels a stranger to me, or
+that my mother doesn't know everything about me--rather too much,
+perhaps, sometimes."
+
+The doctor could not help smiling at the rueful tone of the last
+sentence.
+
+"Well, Stephen, I think in your case it would be 'absurdly
+impossible,'" he said, laughingly, "but I am afraid perfect
+comprehension between parents and children is not so universal as it
+ought to be, or as you seem to think it.  Here comes the mother to
+give her opinion.  But how is this?" for Mrs. Tremain had in her arms
+a clinging, four-year-old boy in the tiniest of white night-shirts.
+
+"Jackie had a very bad dream, and the only thing that would set him
+right was just to come downstairs and see all the world again," she
+explained, smiling at the general exclamation.
+
+In a moment the suffering Jackie became the hero of the evening, and
+was allowed to confide all his terrors to "papa," how a great tiger
+from the "Shosical Dardens" had come close to his bed to eat him up,
+till just at the supreme moment "mother" had heard his screams and
+had rescued him.  A little re-assuring talk on the safety of tiger's
+cages, and a laughing affirmative to the question "And 'oo is very
+strong, isn't 'oo?" soon set Jackie's mind at rest, his sleepy
+eyelids began to close, and, having kissed everyone with drowsy
+solemnity, he cuddled up again to his mother and was carried off to
+bed.
+
+"There is no doubt that those two understand each other," said the
+doctor, smiling thoughtfully.
+
+"No, indeed!" said Gladys and Stephen, emphatically.
+
+"No, indeed!" echoed Donovan, under his breath, and he turned quickly
+away with burning tears in his eyes, unable to bear the sight of the
+little home drama any longer.
+
+Mr. Ellis Farrant happened to be in town when the news of his
+cousin's death reached him.  It was the time of year when he found
+that it answered best to be in town, a time when he was sure of
+plenty of amusement, and could reckon on getting most of his dinners
+out.  He was a man without any settled profession, of moderate
+income, but expensive habits, and, in order to reconcile these
+conflicting elements, he found it necessary to live as much as
+possible on his friends.  It was not until late on Saturday afternoon
+that, on returning from his usual saunter in the park, he found
+Donovan's letter, with its brief formal intimation of his father's
+death.  Ellis Farrant was startled, awed; he did not like being
+confronted with anything so gloomy yet so inevitable as death, it was
+a subject he invariably dismissed from his mind as quickly as
+possible, and now his cousin had died with an awful suddenness, and
+Ellis, whether he would or not, found his thoughts turning to his own
+death, that dismal goal which awaited him in the future.  Where
+should he die, and how, and--and _when_?
+
+His hand trembled a little as he again took up Donovan's letter, and
+strove to banish the uneasy reflections which were troubling him by a
+fresh perusal of the startling news; he found himself, however,
+gazing vacantly at the handwriting, rather than reading the sense
+conveyed by the firm, clear, somewhat cramped letters.  Then his mind
+wandered off to Donovan himself, perhaps something in the writing
+reminded him of the clever, strong-willed, self-reliant boy who had
+so often been his companion.  He had been expelled from school, the
+letter stated, the very absence of further comment or explanation
+showing how deeply the disgrace had galled the proud nature.  Well,
+he would pass from disgrace to ease and pleasure, for was not he his
+father's heir?  Ellis Farrant reflected for a few minutes on his good
+luck.  Then with a sudden and vehement exclamation, he started to his
+feet.  No, it was not so--he recollected now his cousin's simple will
+at the time of his marriage,--Donovan was not his father's heir,
+everything had been left to Mrs. Farrant.  It had been little more
+than "All to my wife."  He had laughed over the story of the shortest
+will long ago, he could not recall where or with whom, but he
+remembered clearly that Colonel Farrant's will had been to that
+effect, and the remembrance seemed to excite him strangely.
+
+"In another year I shall be forty," he mused to himself, "what the
+world will call a middle-aged man.  I hate that term middle-aged; but
+anyhow, I shall not look it, and I am tolerably--yes, really
+decidedly handsome."
+
+He rested his elbows on the mantel-piece and surveyed himself
+critically in the mirror.  In colouring and general outline of face
+he was sufficiently like Colonel Farrant and Donovan to show near
+relationship, but his features and expression were entirely
+different.  The eyes of very dark steel-grey lacked the peculiar
+admixture of brown in the iris, which was so noticeable in Donovan's;
+they were hard, bold-looking eyes, unpleasant to meet.  The firm
+well-shaped chin was contradicted by a weak mouth, which was only
+partially concealed by a bristling black moustache.  But, in spite of
+these defects, he was, as he had said, a handsome man, or, at any
+rate, he was possessed of a certain brilliancy which generally passed
+for good looks.
+
+Satisfied apparently with his own reflection, he turned at length
+from the mirror, and, sitting down to the table, dispatched first a
+telegram to Donovan announcing his intention of coming to Porthkerran
+the following day, and, secondly, the advertisement of Colonel
+Farrant's death to the _Times_, with an elaborately-worded eulogy and
+feeling description of the grief of the family.  After that he
+relapsed into a profound reverie, from which he only roused himself
+to calculate what was the probable value of the Oakdene estate.
+
+Donovan's Sunday at Porthkerran was almost as trying a day as the
+previous one at school had been.  Possibly his grief and wretchedness
+might have induced him to enter the church, had not his recollections
+of the last Sunday deterred him.  Never could he forget the slow
+torture to which he had then been subjected!  The intolerable length
+of the day, the two services, the sermons with their direct reference
+to the sin which he had promoted, their unsparing condemnation of the
+ringleader, the sudden turning of all eyes to his place, the struggle
+between his sense of shame and his pride, the angry resentment of the
+injustice and exaggeration.  He lived it all over again as he walked
+gloomily along the Porthkerran cliffs, and the silent repressed
+indignation did him no good.
+
+It was with his very worst expression that he went to meet Ellis
+Farrant; his face was dark and proud and cold, yet even then the
+contrast between the cousins was very marked.  Donovan's, though the
+more hopeless face of the two, had a certain nobility nowhere
+traceable in Ellis's bold, self-satisfied mien; the one face
+expressed a restless craving for something beyond self, restrained
+only by a powerful will, the other expressed little but
+self-satisfaction, and a sort of defiance and bravado.
+
+Yet the sympathy which Ellis expressed so readily and fluently both
+to Donovan and to his mother was not altogether artificial; he was by
+no means heartless, although undoubtedly he was a selfish scheming
+man, bent upon furthering his own interests.  In the pursuance of his
+own aims, however, he occasionally felt kindly disposed towards
+others, and he admired, even liked, Donovan.
+
+On the Monday all was changed, however.  The simple and beautiful
+burial service had fallen with little effect on the ears of the two
+chief mourners; all that remained of Colonel Farrant had been laid in
+the little churchyard of Porthkerran.  The two cousins and the doctor
+had returned in silence to the inn, and then, as soon as Donovan was
+out of earshot, Dr. Tremain took Ellis Farrant aside.
+
+"There is but one more duty, Mr. Farrant, which I have to discharge,
+and that is to put you in possession of the will which Colonel
+Farrant executed just before his death.  I should have given it you
+earlier in the day, only there has been no opportunity, for I
+promised the Colonel that his son should know nothing of the
+transaction."
+
+"A will--a codicil, I suppose," said Ellis Farrant, hurriedly taking
+the sheet of paper from Dr. Tremain and unfolding it.  Though he was
+weak and impulsive, he was too thorough a man of the world not to
+have his facial expression in very fair command; he betrayed little
+but surprise as he read his cousin's most unwelcome change of
+purpose, and his voice was cool and steady as he again folded the
+paper and turned to Dr. Tremain.  "I am named as my cousin's sole
+executor, I see; this must be referred to his lawyer in London.  Many
+thanks to you, doctor, for your considerate help."
+
+Dr. Tremain rose to take leave, and Ellis, accompanying him to the
+door, found Donovan in the passage outside, and left him to see the
+last of the guest.
+
+"We leave early to-morrow," he began, hurriedly, "so I must wish you
+good-bye now, Dr. Tremain--thank you for your kindness."
+
+"I hope we may meet again," said the doctor, shaking his hand warmly,
+and looking with grave compassion at the miserably hopeless face
+before him.
+
+"Will you thank Mrs. Tremain for her kindness to me," continued
+Donovan, still with the air of one wearily discharging a duty of
+courtesy, "and for the flowers she kindly sent this morning?"
+
+"Certainly, I will give her your message, and when next you come
+westward I hope we shall see you at Porthkerran.  Good-bye!"  And the
+doctor turned away rather sadly, and set out homewards.
+
+Before he had gone far, however, he heard hurrying steps behind, and
+his late companion once more stood beside him.
+
+"Forgive me," he said, hoarsely, "I was cold and ungrateful, I shall
+not forget your kindness, only now I'm too wretched to feel it.
+Don't think too hardly of me."  And before Dr. Tremain could do more
+than show his answer by look and gesture, Donovan was half way back
+again to the inn.
+
+During this time Ellis Farrant had been giving vent to his rage and
+disappointment within the house.  That all his schemes should be
+frustrated by a paltry piece of note-paper, witnessed by a doctor and
+a servant, was inexpressibly galling.  Had the will been elaborately
+drawn up, and duly besprinkled with meaningless legal phrases, it
+would not have caused him half the annoyance.  It was the absurd
+littleness, the perfect simplicity of the thing which chafed him so.
+Was there no flaw to be detected?--no, not the very slightest even to
+his longing eye.  Would it be possible to call his cousin's sanity
+into question?  No, utterly impossible, there could be no doubt of
+that.  There was a moment's pause in Ellis Farrant's thoughts, a
+pause in which he fully realised the defeat of his purpose; he heard
+Donovan return to the inn, and at the sound of his footsteps he
+hastily shuffled the will into his pocket, but the precaution was
+needless, for the footsteps passed by, and presently the door of
+Donovan's room was closed and locked.  Again Ellis drew out the will
+and looked at it fixedly; it was a little crumpled now, he noticed
+the impression of his Indian-grass cigar-case upon it; what a frail,
+trumpery, perishable thing it was--he began to dwell on this thought
+with satisfaction instead of bitterness.  Then he looked again at the
+signatures of the witnesses: "Thomas Tremain, Surgeon, Trenant,
+Porthkerran."  "Mary Pengelly, Servant, Penruddock Arms Inn,
+Porthkerran."
+
+A maid-servant and a doctor living in an obscure Cornish village,
+what had he to fear from them?  And the boy upstairs?  Why, he knew
+nothing, and never need know--never _should_ know, and with sudden
+resolution Ellis tore the sheet of paper in half, and in half again.
+Then a great horror seized upon him, he turned very cold, and fell
+back in his chair, shuddering violently.  It was done, and there was
+no retrieving the deed!  He mechanically fingered and counted the six
+fragments, looking at each with a vacant terror.  By and by the
+terror began to take definite shape.  What if the boy were to come
+down?  He must completely destroy all remains of this detestable
+will, of this little heap of paper which had been the will.  He was
+very cold, he would order a fire, and he crossed the room with
+unsteady steps to ring the bell, but paused with the caution of guilt
+when his hand was on the bell-rope.  Supposing Mary Pengelly should
+come, supposing she caught sight of these fragments!  he felt as if
+she would instantly perceive them in the securest hiding-place.  No,
+he must light the fire himself, and with nervous haste he drew a box
+of fusees from his pocket, and with considerable difficulty succeeded
+in kindling the damp wood into a blaze.  Then he carefully placed the
+little heap of paper in the very centre of the grate, and watched
+anxiously while gradually the edges curled upwards, the whiteness was
+scorched to brown, then to black, fringed with sparks of red, finally
+to a swift yellow blaze, while the last black shreds of Colonel
+Farrant's will were borne up the chimney by the sudden draught.  Not
+quite the last, however, for one fragment had fallen to the side of
+the fireplace, and floated down on to the fender just as Ellis
+thought all was over.  He snatched it up, and would once more have
+thrown it to the flames had not something forced him to look at it;
+scorched and half charred as were its edges, he could plainly read
+the words--"My only son Donovan."  A swift pang of regret thrilled
+him for a moment; then a sound in the passage outside renewed his
+guilty terror, and, stooping down, he held the fragment to the blaze
+with his own fingers, scarcely feeling the near approach of the hot
+flames, in his relief that the last vestige of the will was finally
+disposed of.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+REPULSED AND ATTRACTED.
+
+  DUCHESS OF YORK.
+    "Tetchy and wayward was thy infancy,
+    Thy school-days frightful, desperate, wild and furious.
+    *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
+    What comfortable hour cans't thou name
+    That ever graced me in thy company?"
+  KING RICHARD.
+    "If I be so disgracious in your eyes
+    Let me march on, and not offend you, madam."
+                      _King Richard III_.--Act iv, Sc. 4.
+
+In this country the power of the man in and out of society is all but
+supreme.  Wherever he is he overpowers and rules, and shadowy crowds
+yield to his spell.  At his beck they join a crusade, or forswear
+their own existence.  As he dictates they are protoplasms and
+sporules, or divinities.  They throb with his affections, they pant
+with his desires, and rise to his aspirations.  They see as he sees,
+hear as he hears, and believe as he believes.  This is the power for
+evil or for good.
+
+                        _The Times_.  Christmas Day, 1880.
+
+
+Oakdene Manor was a comfortable though somewhat prosaic modern house,
+built by Colonel Farrant's father on the site of the old Manor House
+farm, which had belonged to the Farrants from time immemorial.  It
+stood on the very verge of a beautifully-wooded hill overlooking one
+of the simple yet lovely valleys which abound in Mountshire, with
+distant glimpses of blue-grey downs, a view of which it was
+impossible to tire.  The shrubs, which had been planted nearly
+eighteen years, were now in their full perfection; a long approach,
+bordered on each side by pines and laurels, led to the pretty
+creeper-laden porch, while beyond and to the front of the house lay a
+somewhat curiously-planned garden, formed into four terraces cut one
+below the other on the side of the hill.  At the foot of the lowest
+terrace there was a somewhat overgrown pond, and beyond this a thick
+wild wood, sloping down to the valley.  It was rather a late season,
+and, though the first week in June was nearly over, the trees were
+only just beginning to look really green.  It seemed a wonderfully
+slow process this re-clothing of Nature, at least to little Dot
+Farrant it seemed so; but she lay watching the trees so continuously
+from day to day that, although Mrs. Doery affirmed that she must see
+them grow, the long expectancy of spring was really more protracted
+to her than to those who watched the growth and progress less
+carefully.
+
+Her couch was, as usual, drawn close up to the window on a showery
+afternoon of early June, and she had contrived to while away the time
+very pleasantly by watching the sudden changes of storm and sun on
+the wood below, for Dot had something of an artist's eye, and was
+quick to mark the effects of light and shade.  Happy little
+observations of this kind were indeed but too often all she was fit
+for; grievously fragile and delicate, she was, as Mrs. Doery
+expressed it in broad terms, "diseased through and through."  And yet
+it was on the whole a happy and singularly child-like face.  Her
+complexion was pale but very fair, the delicate contour of her
+features was still so far unharmed by suffering as to show her
+childish years; her hair was strained back from the forehead and just
+fell to the shoulder in soft, dark-brown masses, and her eyes were
+almost exactly like Donovan's, dark hazel, full of pathos, but
+expressing less painfully the sad unsatisfied craving so noticeable
+in his.
+
+This was perhaps to be accounted for; to Dot everything she needed,
+so it seemed to her, was summed up in her brother.  Donovan was her
+friend, her comforter, her teacher, her playfellow; when he was with
+her, her days were almost uniformly happy.  She would bear her pain
+in patient silence for the sake of pleasing and sparing him; and when
+he was absent the thought of what he would have liked, and the
+remembrance of his own patience and control nerved her still to
+endure and to copy her ideal.  Her love really amounted to worship.
+
+But, deeply as he loved her, Dot could not at all fill this position
+to Donovan.  She was indeed to him both friend and comforter, and, in
+a sense, also teacher and playfellow, but he was of course the strong
+one, she leant on him utterly, and he--he had nothing to lean on but
+himself, or rather would accept nothing.  The strong craving was
+there, only his pride of will held it in iron fetters.
+
+  "'If the ash before the oak,
+  Then you may expect a soak;
+  If the oak before the ash,
+  Then 'twill only be a splash,'"
+
+quoted Dot, merrily, as she lay watching the dripping trees
+glistening in the sunlight.  "Doery, do you hear?  We are going to
+have a fine summer, for the oaks are twice as forward as the other
+trees."
+
+Mrs. Doery was sitting before a large work-basket, darning stockings;
+by the gloom and sourness expressed on her features, it might have
+been supposed that she was the constant sufferer, and bright-faced
+Dot the able-bodied person.
+
+"Well, Miss Dot," she answered, in a depressed voice, "I'm not much
+of a believer in such signs as them.  The weather is as contrairy as
+most other things and folks; reckon that it'll do one thing, it's
+sure to go and do another."
+
+"I suppose things do go rather contrairily," said Dot, coining a word
+upon Mrs. Doery's model.  "Certainly just now everything seems gone
+wrong," and she thought with a sigh of the loss of the father whom
+she had never learnt to know, and of Donovan's school disgrace.
+
+"I've lived sixty-eight years come Michaelmas," replied Mrs. Doery,
+"and I never knew it otherwise; folks generally get just what they
+don't want, and when they don't want.  There was your poor grandpapa,
+just as he'd built this house, he was laid up with paralysis, and
+never so much as saw it finished.  There was me myself" (Mrs. Doery
+was very fond of dilating on her past life), "just as I'd got used to
+doing for my poor master, comes Master Donovan to plague the life out
+of me; and then, as if I hadn't had enough of trouble and worriting,
+you, who I thought would have been a good baby, turns out sickly and
+invalidated." (Mrs. Doery rather confused long words at times.)
+"This last month, too, has been a regular chapter of misfortunes; I
+counted on it that at least Mr. Donovan would have done us some
+credit at school, seeing that all the folk say he's so clever--too
+clever, Dr. Simpkins used to say when he was little; and now here he
+is home again, with nothing but disgrace to bring us."
+
+"Doery, how can you!" interrupted Dot, with burning cheeks.  "You
+know how sorry he is--how dreadfully unhappy."
+
+"Miss Dot," said Doery, a little severely, "I've known Mr. Donovan a
+sight longer than you, and, mark my words, he's no more sorry
+than--than--you are," she ended, not very conclusively.  "It always
+was the way; the more I punished him for his faults, the less sorrow
+he'd show; he'd only get angry, and that's what he is now.  I know
+well enough that look on his face, and it's never sorrow that brought
+it there.  If you think he's a-grieving over his fault you're
+mistaken, Miss Dot; he's thinking of them fellows who gave him the
+mark on his forehead."
+
+Doery had a good deal of shrewd common-sense, and she was not far
+wrong here; the only pity was that her penetration did not go a
+little further, and convince her how very much at fault her early
+system of training had been.
+
+"Oh! but, Doery, that was such a cruel, mean, unjust thing to do,"
+pleaded Dot, with tears in her eyes.  "How can you wonder that he
+felt angry?  Oh!  I can't think how anyone could have hurt my dear,
+dear Dono!  They must have been wretches!"
+
+"Those who do wrong suffer for it," said Mrs. Doery.  "Mr. Donovan
+had done harm to the school, and the school was bound to show what it
+felt.  Not but what I'm sorry enough that they've made that scar on
+his forehead, for he's a fine handsome lad, no one can't deny," and
+for a moment the old woman's face was softened, for she was not
+without a certain pride in her troublesome, ill-starred ne'er-do-weel.
+
+"Will the mark always stay, do you think?" questioned Dot, with
+feminine anxiety.
+
+"Always," said Mrs. Doery, with a sigh; "he'll always be known by it,
+like Cain, to his dying day."
+
+"Who is Cain?" asked Dot, whose bringing up equalled Donovan's in
+ignorance.
+
+"Cain was a bad man, who murdered his brother, and had a mark put on
+his forehead," said Mrs. Doery.
+
+"How horrid!" shuddered Dot.  "But I thought you said the other day
+that it wasn't proper for little girls to hear about murders, when I
+wanted to hear what cook had shown you about one in the newspaper."
+
+"There are murders and murders," said Mrs. Doery, sagely.  "Cain is
+different from the ones now-a-days; he's--he's--instructive as well
+as destructive."
+
+Dot smiled a little, but did not ask for the story; her thoughts had
+wandered back to Donovan.
+
+"I am sorry, you know, Doery, that the scar will show always, because
+it will help to remind people of Dono's trouble, and I want them to
+forget very soon."
+
+"You won't find that folks will forget, Miss Dot, so don't expect it;
+a bad beginning is a bad beginning, nobody can't deny, and I've
+always found that, if people once get a bad name, they keep it.  I
+can't say, either, that I see any signs of Mr. Donovan's turning over
+a new leaf; he's as obstinate and as headstrong as ever.  I've told
+him many a time since he wasn't higher than that table how 'Don't
+care' came to the gallows, but he was always one for tossing back his
+head in that haughty way, minding no one in the world but himself.
+He'll come to no good."
+
+"Don't say such dreadful things, Doery," said Dot, between laughing
+and crying.  "Dono will be 'contrairy,' as you say the weather is.
+He will turn out exactly the opposite to what you expect, he will, I
+am sure.  People can't help loving him, and then, you know, he will
+get happy again.  Oh!  I am so glad he comes back from London to-day.
+How long it seems since Cousin Ellis took him away!  What is the
+time, Doery?  Do look before you begin that new row.  He was to be at
+the station at four o'clock."
+
+Mrs. Doery's respectable silver time-keeper pronounced it to be four
+already, and, though the station was three miles off, Dot insisted on
+having her couch wheeled to the window facing the carriage-drive,
+that she might watch for him.
+
+In the drawing-room below, Mrs. Farrant was roused by the sound to a
+remembrance that her son was returning that afternoon.
+
+"Doery really should oil the wheels of Dot's couch," she reflected,
+drowsily, with the discomforted feeling of one disturbed in the
+middle of a siesta.  But somehow she could not compose herself to
+sleep again, though she still lay comfortably on the sofa, allowing
+her thoughts to roam idly where they pleased.
+
+It was now three weeks since Colonel Farrant's funeral.  His widow
+had returned to Oakdene, and had resumed her former habits of life,
+not exactly with the courageous "re-beginning" of submission--for it
+was no very great effort to her--but rather with the acquiescence of
+an inert mind.  The passionate vehemence of her grief had exhausted
+itself at Porthkerran.  It had been an unusual effort to her, for she
+was not by nature passionate.  Her reproachful anger with Donovan,
+and her long fits of weeping, had completely worn her out; all bodily
+exertion was distasteful to her, and this excessive agitation, so
+very foreign to her nature, had told greatly on her physical health.
+It was therefore perhaps well for all parties that her inactive mind
+and dormant affections allowed her so soon to return to her ordinary
+life, though Donovan, with what seemed like inconsistency, maintained
+that he would rather have gone through endless repetitions of the
+stormy scenes at Porthkerran than have witnessed this calm, placid
+forgetfulness.  To his strong and positive nature his mother's
+character was a complete enigma.  The bitter anger was something he
+could comprehend, though it had wounded him to the quick, but the
+speedy return to quiet indifference could not possibly be understood
+by him, or sympathised with, and for that reason it wounded him still
+more.
+
+And yet it would be hard to blame poor Mrs. Farrant altogether, for
+her natural temperament and her circumstances had a great deal to do
+with her failings.  The only daughter of a widowed cavalry officer,
+she had never known anything of home-life.  She had married Colonel
+Farrant almost as soon as she left school, and had passed at once
+into all the cares and responsibilities of a household, and the
+pleasures and trials of a military life abroad.  At Malta she had
+been the gayest of the gay, and, though feeling some natural pride in
+her child, had very little time to notice him at all.  In India her
+health had suffered, and, naturally indolent, she had fallen into the
+luxurious, semi-invalid ways so hard to break loose from.  Then came
+the return to England, which had been agreed upon on account of her
+health, and for the last ten years she had led a quiet, indulgent,
+easy life, enjoying the society to be had near Oakdene in a subdued
+lazy way of her own, and making one yearly effort, namely the removal
+to the London house for the months of May and June.  So far as
+circumstances and natural character can be put forward as an excuse,
+Mrs. Farrant might reasonably claim a lenient judgment, but no one
+need be the "slave of circumstance," and no nature can be so
+hopelessly inert, or weak, or bad, that rightly directed and resolute
+efforts will not reform it.  But Mrs. Farrant had never made a
+resolute effort of this kind.  She was one of those people who let
+themselves drift along the stream of life.  She never tried to row,
+never hoisted a sail, never even touched a steering rope.  She had
+had a sharp, sudden shock; for a moment her quiet course had been
+interrupted, but now she had resumed it, and allowed herself to drift
+along placidly as before.
+
+This was the head of the Oakdene household, the influence for good or
+for evil of the inmates of the Manor; a woman who could best be
+described by negatives--not good, and yet not exactly bad, not evil
+intentioned, and yet without a single good motive, not unkind to her
+children, yet never loving, not in the world's opinion irreligious,
+yet never penetrating beyond the outer shell of religion.  There was
+only one thing in which she was positive--love of herself.  Her
+dreamy, unregulated thoughts generally hovered round this point of
+interest; her health, her comfort or discomfort, her dress, her
+employments, her amusements, and curiously, one exception outside
+herself, her lap-dog.  Upon a handsome, bad-tempered, snowy
+Pomeranian named Fido, she lavished the time and caresses which her
+children had failed to obtain from her.
+
+On the afternoon in question she lay calmly meditating on the sofa in
+her usual fashion, meandering on from subject to subject.
+
+"Doery should really oil those wheels.  I wonder what nerve is
+affected so strangely by any sound like that?  Perhaps it is the
+sympathetic nerve.  If so my sympathetic nerve must be very
+susceptible--very.  But all my nerves are susceptible, as Dr. Maclean
+used to say at Calcutta, 'You are all nerves, my dear madam.'  He was
+a handsome man, Dr. Maclean, only a little too grey.  How pleasant
+those years in Calcutta were, if it hadn't been for the heat and for
+my health suffering so, I could really wish to go back there.
+Charming society it used to be, only one paid for the exertion of
+going out; the balls were delightful, but I was a martyr to headaches
+the next day."  An interlude of vacancy, terminated by a series of
+sharp barks from Fido.  "Down, Fido, down!  What is it, poor little
+dog?  Ah! he heard wheels.  Good little Fido, quite right, little
+doggie, bark away, only not too near my ears, please!  It cannot be a
+visitor, for I've not sent out my 'return thanks.'  It must be
+Donovan.  I do hope he has come back in better spirits, it is so
+wearing to me to see him with a gloomy face.  Is my cap straight, I
+wonder," and she glanced at her reflection in the looking-glass.
+"This new cap really suits me very well, only the lappets are so in
+the way on a sofa.  What a quick, sharp step Donovan has, quite a
+military tread like his poor father's.  Ah! he has gone upstairs to
+Dot's room, so I may as well have my afternoon tea before seeing
+him."  Another thoughtless interval, this time broken by the entrance
+of the servant with a little solitaire tea-service, and a plate of
+broken biscuit for Fido.  Mrs. Farrant roused herself.
+
+"I forgot to tell Charlotte this morning that Mr. Donovan was
+expected.  Just tell her to get his room ready."
+
+The page received the message, and retired noiselessly, while Mrs.
+Farrant stirred her tea, and lamented over the cares and troubles of
+housekeeping.
+
+In the room above, the "quick, sharp step" had been listened to with
+very different feelings.  Dot wriggled about on her couch impatiently.
+
+"Oh!  Doery, do open the door," she cried.  "I'm so afraid he will go
+into the drawing-room.  I want so to hear.  Yes--no--he is coming
+upstairs!" and she half raised herself in her excitement.
+
+"Lie still, Miss Dot, and be patient," said Doery, scrutinizing the
+heel of a fresh stocking.  "Dear me! one would think you were
+expecting the Prince of Wales and all the royal family!"
+
+"Here he is! here he is!" cried Dot, ecstatically.  "Oh!  Dono!" and
+her little weak arms were round his neck in a minute, with all the
+clinging warmth of a childish, half worshipping love.
+
+"Well, little woman," he exclaimed, after she had released him, "how
+have you been getting on?  You have actually a little colour in your
+cheeks for once."
+
+"Oh! it is so beautiful to have you back again," said Dot, happily.
+"It has seemed such a long fortnight; and how tall and old you look,
+Dono.  And, oh! you're letting your moustache grow again.  Look at
+him, Doery."
+
+Thus reminded of Mrs. Doery's presence, Donovan turned round hastily
+to greet his old enemy.
+
+"How are you, Doery?  And how do you think Miss Dot is?"
+
+"Thank you, Mr. Donovan, my health is very well," answered Doery,
+precisely.  "And as to Miss Dot, her face is flushed just from
+excitement, and nobody can't deny that she's been very poorly this
+last week."
+
+He listened with the wistfulness of one obliged to obtain the news
+nearest his heart from a detailer not greatly interested in the
+matter.  A shade of disappointment and anxiety stole over his face as
+he turned to look at Dot, but she soon made him smile again.
+
+"I am as well as possible now you are come.  Last week it got hot so
+quickly.  Was it hot in London?  And what did you and Cousin Ellis
+do?"
+
+Donovan gave as bright a description as he could of what had been in
+reality an unhappy and unsatisfactory time, but he was not sorry to
+be interrupted before long by a sound of scratching at the door.
+
+"It cannot be Fido, because he always barks so at you," said Dot,
+wonderingly.
+
+"No, I expect it is my present for you, who has had the impudence to
+run upstairs before he was called."
+
+"Your present!  Oh, Dono! and a live one!"
+
+Donovan opened the door, and admitted a fox-terrier puppy, whose
+whines of delight at finding his friend were drowned in Dot's
+delighted exclamations.
+
+"Is he for my very own?  Oh!  Dono, what a dear old boy you are!
+What made you think of it!"
+
+"The fellow tacked himself on to me one day in the Strand, and
+absolutely refused to go.  That's ten days ago now, and, as he's not
+been advertised for, I thought I'd bring him home to you.  Come here,
+old fellow, and see your new mistress."
+
+The dog pattered up obediently, and Donovan lifted him on to the
+couch that Dot might stroke him.
+
+"He's a darling," said the little girl, rapturously; "such nice eyes
+he has, and half his face black and half white, and a white and
+yellow coat."
+
+"White and tan," corrected Donovan.  "He'll be a capital dog when
+he's full-grown; he's quite young now.  What shall we call him?
+Harlequin?"
+
+"No, that's too long, and it must mean something that's lost and all
+alone," said Dot, meditatively.  "Rover would do, only it's so
+common."
+
+"Vagabond, Tramp, Waif, or Stray," suggested Donovan.
+
+"Oh!  Waif--that's beautiful, and so nice to say.  Does that mean
+something that's all alone, with nobody to take care of it?"
+
+"Yes, a thing tossed up by chance; it'll just suit the beggar.  We
+must teach him--" he broke off hastily as the door opened, and rose
+to meet his mother; but their greeting was brief, for a sudden
+barking, yelling, and howling filled the room, and caused both mother
+and son to turn hastily.
+
+There stood the handsome Pomeranian in a perfect fury, his tail
+absolutely bristling with wrath, and there, from his vantage-ground
+on the couch, stood the plucky little Waif, barking vigorously in
+self-defence.  Before Donovan could re-cross the room, Fido had
+sprung on to the couch and had seized the smaller dog by the ear,
+while poor little Dot shrank back in terror, adding her cries to the
+general hubbub.  Donovan's first care was to put one of his arms
+between her and the combatants, and then, seizing his opportunity, to
+sweep both dogs on to the floor with the other.
+
+"Fido, Fido! my poor dog!  Save him, Donovan, take him from that
+savage creature!" cried Mrs. Farrant, fairly roused and frightened.
+
+"He's twice the size of the other," said Donovan; "he'll maul Dot's
+poor little puppy to pieces.  Leave off, you wretch!" and, with a
+well-directed blow, he drew Fido's attention from the fox-terrier's
+ear to his own hand, and, after a sharp tussle with the angry animal,
+succeeded in kicking him out of the room.
+
+"Where did this dreadful new dog come from?" asked Mrs. Farrant.  "I
+never saw a more hideous creature.  You surely don't intend to keep
+it in the house?"
+
+"He shall not be in your way, and Fido will not attack him again, I
+should think.  He certainly isn't a beauty, but he's of a very good
+breed," and Donovan called the dog to him, and began to examine his
+ear.
+
+"It is all bleeding," said Dot, piteously; "and oh!  Dono, look at
+your hand."
+
+"A souvenir of Fido's teeth," said Donovan, smiling rather bitterly;
+for, though as a rule he was exceedingly fond of animals, he had a
+strange dislike to the Pomeranian--perhaps because it usurped so much
+of his mother's time and thoughts, perhaps because of the dog's
+marked aversion to himself.
+
+"Dear me!  I hope it won't bring on hydrophobia; I have such a horror
+of hydrophobia," said Mrs. Farrant, nervously contemplating the wound
+from a distance.
+
+"I'll put a hot iron to it, if it will relieve you," said Donovan,
+half scornfully, adding, with a touch of malice, "And, if Fido is
+mad, a bullet will soon settle him."
+
+It was an uncalled-for and foolish speech; it touched Mrs. Farrant in
+her most sensitive part, and widened the gulf between her and her
+son.  He felt it the next minute, and was vexed to have put himself
+in the wrong.
+
+"You are very inconsiderate," said Mrs. Farrant, plaintively.  "You
+know what a companion Fido is to me, and yet you can speak so
+unfeelingly about his death.  And the poor dog may be hurt and
+suffering now.  I must find him at once."
+
+Donovan opened the door for her, just pausing to see Fido run to meet
+her, safe and unharmed; then he turned again into Dot's room,
+muttering under his breath, "Managed to put my foot into it, as
+usual!"
+
+Mrs. Doery offered to bind up his hand, while Dot, with all the
+colour flown from her cheeks, watched sympathetically, observing at
+last, after a long silence,
+
+"It is very odd, Dono, but you and mamma never do like the same
+things."
+
+It had been an unfortunate meeting, there was no doubt of that, the
+feud between the dogs seemed likely to destroy what little peace
+there ordinarily was in the household.  Everything was as usual
+against him, so Donovan bitterly complained, he never got a fair
+start in anything.  It was with a very clouded brow that he went down
+to dinner--the _tête-à-tête_ dinner with Mrs. Farrant.  It was not
+that he had expected great things, he knew the return would be
+painful; but half unconsciously when away from his mother she always
+slipped back into a sort of faint resemblance to his childish ideal;
+with him it was the very reverse of the proverb--"_Les absens ont
+toujours tort_."  Absence invariably toned down his mother's
+failings, magnified her good points.  Thus at every fresh meeting the
+terrible sense of loss and insatiety was borne in upon him with new
+force, and he was invariably sore-hearted, restless, and ill at ease.
+This evening, too, he was vexed with himself, and, with the
+perverseness of a proud nature, he showed his vexation not by trying
+to make amends for his unguarded speech by extra courtesy, but by
+becoming silent, and grave, and constrained.  Perhaps it was scarcely
+to be wondered at that, on returning to the drawing-room after this
+singularly dull and spiritless meal, Mrs. Farrant should at once sink
+into an easy-chair and become engrossed in a new novel.  Donovan
+stayed only a few minutes, his mother never looked up, Fido growled
+at him; he resolved to go up at once to Dot.  But even this was
+denied him.  Mrs. Doery met him at the head of the stairs like a
+dragon--he could not see Miss Dot, it was impossible; she had been
+very much upset indeed with all the excitement and noise, and Mrs.
+Doery had just managed to get her to sleep.
+
+Donovan slowly walked downstairs again.  Alone, with nothing to fall
+back upon, with a miserable sense of present injustice, and a past
+which he was always trying to escape from, the quietness of the house
+seemed unbearable to him.  He must go somewhere, do something to
+drown these miserable thoughts, to fill this wretched emptiness.  The
+servant was in the dining-room clearing the table; he suddenly made
+up his mind.
+
+"Tell Jones to saddle the cob at once."
+
+The order was given briefly and decidedly; he turned on his heel,
+hesitated one moment, then crossed the hall to the drawing-room.
+
+"I am going to ride over to Greyshot, mother--can I do anything for
+you?"
+
+"Nothing, thank you," said Mrs. Farrant, drowsily; then, half rousing
+herself, "You'll not be late, Donovan, because the servants don't
+like sitting up."
+
+"I shall not be late," he repeated, mechanically, as he glanced round
+the prettily-furnished room, comparing it with that other
+brightly-lighted room which he had looked into not very long before.
+Such contrasts were dangerous in his present state of mind; he closed
+the door, and paced up and down the hall, fiercely flicking at his
+boots with the end of his whip.  Then his horse was brought round,
+and, mounting hastily, he rode off in the direction of the
+neighbouring town.
+
+The cool evening air and the peaceful summer twilight were in
+themselves soothing.  Donovan was neither artistic nor imaginative,
+but yet such things had a certain influence over him, and the beauty,
+perhaps still more the peacefulness of the scene, quieted for a time
+the bitter inward cry.  But it could be only for a time; his restless
+misery was far too great to be subdued by any outward agency; he soon
+fell back into his habitual reverie of gloomy dissatisfaction.  How
+perplexing and useless life seemed to him!--the past how full of pain
+and failure, the present how unjustly empty of all that could be
+called happiness, the future how dreary and hopeless!  He put his
+horse into a hand-gallop, and tried to stifle his thoughts--tried to
+think of anything in the world but his own wretchedness, but without
+success; his mind was self-centred, his thoughts naturally turned to
+that centre.  He could force himself for a time to think of other
+things, but there was always an under-current of morbid discontent
+colouring his views of everything.
+
+It was in this state of unavailing mental struggle that he reached
+Greyshot.  It was now between eight and nine in the evening, and the
+traffic of the day was nearly over, the shops were closed, or in the
+act of closing, and the pavements were crowded with people belonging
+to the poorer classes, tired hard-worked men and women, either
+returning from their employment, or lounging about in the cool of the
+evening for the sake of change and refreshment.
+
+Greyshot was rather a gay place, and, though the season fell later in
+the year, the streets had been fairly full that afternoon, when
+Donovan had passed through them on his way from the station to
+Oakdene.  He was struck with the contrast between the afternoon and
+evening crowd.  Fashionable, well-dressed, smiling idlers at the one
+time; tired, hard-featured, shabby toilers at the other.  Here was
+fresh injustice, he said, with his usual hasty judgment and strong
+conviction.  He almost hated himself for riding at ease through the
+throng of tired pedestrians; could only reconcile himself to it by
+remembering his many grievances, and surmising that the poorer street
+passengers were better off than he in many ways.  He did not bring
+the same argument to bear on the question of the afternoon
+promenaders, or remember that the evening throng at least had the
+satisfaction of using their life, while the idlers--perhaps he
+himself--were simply abusing it.
+
+Still brooding over this injustice in the different lots of men, he
+reached the town-hall, and reined in his horse for a minute that he
+might look at the various placards.  He saw with relief that
+something unusual must be going on that night, for the hall was
+lighted, and a pretty continuous stream of people, chiefly men, were
+passing up the broad flight of steps.  "Grand Concert, on Wednesday
+Evening!" no, that was the Wednesday in the following week; a "Rose
+Show!" the next day; ah! here it was.  "This evening, at 8.30, Mr.
+Raeburn will deliver a Lecture, in the Town Hall, on 'The Existence
+of a God--Science versus Superstition.'"  Donovan looked at his
+watch; it was exactly the half-hour.  He hastily rode on to the
+nearest inn, put up his horse, and, returning, passed swiftly up the
+steps and into the hall.
+
+The place was crowded with men, chiefly artisans and mechanics,
+though with a sprinkling of the more highly educated.  Donovan
+glanced first at the eager, listening throng, and then instinctively
+his eyes followed theirs to the platform at the further end of the
+room, and were riveted as by a magic attraction on the speaker.  The
+fascination was instantaneous and complete.  He saw before him a
+tall, powerful-looking man, with masses of tawny hair overshadowing a
+very striking face--a face which, in spite of its rather austere
+lines, still allowed play to a variety of expressions: to burning
+zeal, to infinite sadness, occasionally to withering sarcasm.
+
+Luke Raeburn was, before all things, a strong man, and in looking at
+him specialities sank away into insignificance.  His deep-set earnest
+eyes, his firm uncompromising mouth attracted little notice, because
+the whole man was pervaded by a marvellous force, a concentration of
+energy which carried all before it.  His voice was at once deep and
+powerful, aided by no theatrical gestures, but made particularly
+winning by its mellowness, its perfect modulations, its thrill of
+intense earnestness.  All these were powerful accessories to the
+lecture itself.  They influenced Donovan undoubtedly, but it was not
+the voice or the "presence" of the man which stirred his soul so
+strangely.  The very first sentence which fell on his ear forced him
+to listen as though his whole life depended on it.  "I can find, and
+you can give me, no proof of God's existence."  The words caused an
+electric thrill of sympathy in his heart.  He stood motionless, quite
+unconscious of all around; his whole being absorbed in the argument
+of the lecturer--this man, who, through the firmness of his
+convictions, was spending his life in trying to overthrow what he
+termed the "mischievous delusion of popular Christianity."
+
+To Donovan, with his miserable sense of injustice, every word seemed
+a relief, although it was only a more vigorous repetition of his own.
+cry.  But in this lay the secret of its influence.  The lecturer was
+putting into words, and clothing with marvellously able arguments all
+his own thoughts and opinions.  To some of the listeners the force
+and fascination of the lecture lay in the novelty of the ideas it
+conveyed, but with Donovan it was otherwise.  The lecturer's beliefs
+exactly coincided with all his own ready-formed notions, and perhaps
+no idea is more powerfully attractive than that which, being at the
+same time higher and more subtly argued than your own crude
+previously-formed judgment, yet in the main corresponds with it.  A
+speedy sympathy is established; the pride of the less gifted mind is
+gratified; the great powerful intellect agrees with it, has
+experienced its doubts, has felt its miseries.  Donovan felt himself
+one with the speaker, and he was so very, very rarely agreed with
+anyone that the sudden consciousness of unity and sympathy was almost
+intoxicating in its novel delight.  He listened breathlessly to the
+clear, satisfying arguments, and when, at the end of an hour, the
+lecturer brought his address to a close, and invited answers and
+objections to what he had said, Donovan felt giddy and exhausted,
+half inclined to leave the hall, and yet unable to go while the man
+who had fascinated him so strangely remained.  During the brief pause
+that ensued a middle-aged mechanic, who was seated at the end of one
+of the benches not far from the place where Donovan stood, rose to
+go.  Donovan moved forward to take his place, and for a minute, owing
+to a fresh influx of people, the two were kept facing each other.  A
+shade of pity crossed the rough features of the mechanic as he looked
+at the flushed, excited face of the boy, so young and yet so full of
+unrest.
+
+"My lad," he said, in a low tone, "I see you're sore moved, but take
+my advice and come away.  Yonder man speaks grand words, but it's not
+the truth."
+
+Donovan was too much of a Republican to be the least offended by this
+speech, but he was little accustomed to receive good advice, still
+less accustomed to put it in practice.  He hardly gave it an
+instant's consideration, so firmly was his mind set upon hearing
+Raeburn speak once more.
+
+"One doesn't get this chance every day," he answered.  "I must hear
+the end of it."
+
+And so the warning friend passed by, and Donovan, having rejected the
+guidance sent, took the vacant seat, and waited with some impatience
+for the reply of the first objector.
+
+The speeches of the opponents were limited to ten minutes, too ample
+an allowance, Donovan thought, for the first speaker was insufferably
+dull and wordy.  After the clear, terse, powerful sentences of the
+lecturer, anything so verbose was at once irritating and bewildering,
+and the minds of the audience, which had been strained to the very
+highest tension during Raeburn's address, now began to wander.
+Donovan again found his gaze riveted on the lecturer's face, and gave
+a sigh of relief when the ten minutes' bell was struck in the middle
+of one of the meandering sentences, before the speaker had made a
+single point.  After another brief pause, a tall, nervous-looking
+clergyman mounted the platform, and with evident reluctance,
+conquered only by a sense of duty, began to speak.  His voice was
+weak, but he was very much in earnest, almost painfully so, and real
+earnestness felt and expressed cannot fail to arouse interest.  He
+prospered well at first, yet his argument was not in the least
+conclusive to Donovan's mind, and he was not surprised when, at the
+close of the ten minutes, Luke Raeburn drew attention to an utterly
+illogical statement which had escaped the speaker.  An earnest
+parting protest and attempted explanation were not of much use, for
+Raeburn responded with perfect courtesy but crushing logic, and the
+clergyman went back to his place with a terribly grieved look.
+Donovan saw it all, was sorry for the man, and half won over by his
+humility, his evident sorrow, and by sympathy with his sense of
+failure.  For a moment he wavered, or rather allowed the arguments of
+the other side to recur to him, but it was only for a moment.  The
+third speaker mounted the platform with no diffidence; he was a
+large, solid, self-satisfied man, with a voice which made the hall
+echo again.  Evidently he thought noise would make up for want of
+matter, for he scarcely tried any steady line of argument.  He was
+vehement, positive, illogical, and, after a violent tirade against
+the wickedness of atheism, finally turned round upon the lecturer,
+and hurled the most insolent questions at him.  Donovan was disgusted
+alike at his vulgarity and the worthlessness of his speech.  Raeburn
+was at once invested with the dignity of a martyr, or, at any rate,
+of an unjustly-used man, and his sharp and marvellously powerful
+retort delighted Donovan as much as it irritated the vehement
+objector.  The contest ended grievously, for in a parting protest the
+speaker hopelessly lost his temper, became violent and abusive, and
+quitted the platform and the hall in a towering rage.  It was a sad
+display for one who professed to be an ardent supporter of
+Christianity.  Luke Raeburn felt that nothing could have weakened the
+cause more successfully, and naturally he did not hesitate to use the
+argument in favour of his own views.
+
+There was a prolonged pause after the exit of the angry man; no other
+objectors cared to come forward, however, and at length Raeburn stood
+up for his final speech.  The clear, quiet, impressive tones fell
+like rain after a thunderstorm upon the rapt listening men.  Donovan
+scarcely breathed; he had never in his whole life heard anything so
+marvellously attractive.  The cool penetrating words, the sarcastic
+yet dignified allusions to the last speech, the wonderfully able
+arguments, were irresistible to him.  This man was in earnest,
+terribly in earnest, and he had the grave calmness of perfect
+conviction.
+
+What was he upholding, too?  Self-restraint, self-sacrifice,
+temperance, truth at whatever cost.  There was indeed much that was
+noble and elevating in his speech--only the one great blank, which to
+Donovan was no blank at all.
+
+It was over at last, the assembly broke up, and Donovan groped his
+way down the street, and mounting his horse, rode back to Oakdene in
+the starlight.  He felt wonderfully stimulated by what he had heard,
+roused to enthusiasm for the man, for the views he held, for the life
+of toil for the general good which he not only recommended, but
+himself lived.  Luke Raeburn had influenced him greatly, but it was
+the speech of the self-satisfied opponent which sent him home that
+night a confirmed atheist, a bitter-hearted despiser of Christianity.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+AUTUMN MANŒUVRES.
+
+  Love seeketh not itself to please,
+  Nor for itself hath any care,
+  But for another gives its ease,
+  And builds a heaven in hell's despair.
+                                WILLIAM BLAKE.
+
+  Give a dog a bad name, and hang him.
+                                      _Proverb._
+
+
+Ellis Farrant had taken Donovan up to town on the pretext of
+arranging various matters of business, but he had been careful to
+leave many things unattended to, as he was anxious to have an excuse
+for a speedy visit to Oakdene.  His guardianship was likely to prove
+a very convenient aid in the furtherance of his scheme, for what
+could be more natural than that he should frequently go down to
+inspect his young wards, and what could offer more convenient
+opportunities for winning his way with Mrs. Farrant than such visits.
+A little time, however, must be allowed to pass first.  Ellis made
+arrangement for staying in town till the middle of July, and resolved
+to go down to Oakdene then, for as long a visit as seemed advisable.
+
+His arrival really pleased and roused Mrs. Farrant, for it must be
+owned that Oakdene had not been the liveliest of homes during the
+summer.  Visitors of course had not been received, Donovan had been
+unusually taciturn and moody, and though the favourite Fido, and the
+unfailing succession of new books, and the comfortable sofa by the
+open window, rendered life bearable, any interruption to such quiet
+monotony was a relief even to one so indolent as Mrs. Farrant.
+
+To Donovan the arrival of his cousin brought a strange mixture of
+annoyance and satisfaction.  He too was glad of an interruption to
+the dreary quiet of the house, but nevertheless Ellis managed to
+irritate him not a little.  The nominal business matters which had
+formed the excuse for the visit were put forward from time to time,
+but neither mother nor son was business-like, and Ellis used to let
+the conversation float on quietly into other channels, so that very
+little was really arrived at.  He was a clever, shrewd man, and his
+visit was a long series of manœuvres.  He never lost sight of his
+two great aims, the first was to win the regard and confidence of
+Mrs. Farrant, and to secure this he studied most carefully her
+character and tastes; the second was to induce Donovan to lead as
+inexpensive a life as might be, during the time of his guardianship.
+What became of him after he was of age he neither cared nor thought
+of, for before that time he hoped to have won Mrs. Farrant's hand.
+
+It was about two or three days from the beginning of his visit that
+he first began to question Donovan cautiously as to the future.  They
+were out riding when he resolved to risk the attempt.
+
+"Beautiful country about here," he remarked, carelessly.
+
+"Yes," replied Donovan, laconically; he did not care to show any
+interest in such a remark from one who evidently cared nothing in
+reality for scenery.
+
+"Much hunting in the neighbourhood?"
+
+"No; it's not a hunting county."
+
+"But you have good shooting, I hear."
+
+"Oh! yes, we can have any amount of that.  Won't you come down for it
+this autumn?"
+
+"Thanks.  If I have time I should like nothing better.  You will be
+here of course?"
+
+"Yes, I suppose so," said Donovan, rather hesitatingly.
+
+Ellis Farrant felt a little uneasy.  Had the boy made up his mind to
+go to the university?  Would he want to enter any expensive
+profession?  He must find out, and, if so, try to put some reasonable
+obstacle in the way.
+
+"You have found these months a little dull, I expect, but next year
+you'll be up in town for the season--it'll be very different."
+
+"Life's disgusting everywhere," said Donovan, gloomily.
+
+"No, no," replied the man of the world, lightly.  "There's plenty of
+enjoyment if you look out for it.  Cheer up, my boy, you let yourself
+brood over things too much.  'Let bygones be bygones,' and face the
+future, and let your guardian know plainly what you want."
+
+The speech sounded frank and kindly.  Donovan involuntarily came a
+little out of his shell.
+
+"I don't know that there's anything I want," he said, slowly, "and
+yet I want everything.  Did you ever feel as if nothing in the whole
+world were worth a fig, as if nothing could ever satisfy you?"
+
+A perplexing question!  Why did the perverse fellow begin to moralize
+on abstract subjects, just when he wanted to arrive at plain facts?
+
+"I know quite well what you mean," he replied, glibly.  "You will
+soon live it down.  I think you should mix more with companions of
+your own age."
+
+He felt that this was a hazardous suggestion, but ventured it with
+his customary boldness.
+
+"I hate fellows of my own age," said Donovan, shortly.
+
+"You are a misanthrope, I'm afraid," said Ellis, breathing more
+freely.  "You would not like to go to Oxford or Cambridge, I suppose."
+
+"No, certainly not."
+
+"And you are not exactly--not passionately--fond of work?"
+
+Donovan smiled a little.
+
+"Well, no, I can't say I am."
+
+"You would not like to be a barrister or a--parson?"
+
+"I?" cried Donovan, in amaze.  "In all conscience--no!"
+
+"There is no need, not the slightest," said Ellis.  "In fact, I don't
+think you're in the least suited for any profession.  You can live on
+here very comfortably.  No doubt your mother will make you a handsome
+allowance when you're of age; for, though you are not exactly your
+father's heir, it will come to much the same thing in the end."
+
+"Yes, I suppose so," said the unconscious Donovan.
+
+"I should rather like you to do a little reading, however," continued
+Ellis.  "I must not forget that you are my ward, you know.  What do
+you say to going in to some tutor at Greyshot two or three times a
+week?"
+
+"I don't mind.  I will do so, if you wish.  How would a travelling
+tutor be?  I must say I should like to spend a few months abroad."
+
+An inconvenient and expensive project!  If Donovan were away, he
+could not come down to Oakdene so easily.  But Ellis was too
+far-sighted to give a definite refusal to the request.
+
+"Well, we will think of it," he said, quite in his pleasantest
+manner.  "I'm glad you told me what was in your mind.  We can talk it
+over with your mother."
+
+The two relapsed into silence after this, Ellis trying to think of
+reasonable objections to this new idea, Donovan sketching out in his
+mind the plan of his tour on the continent.  He longed inexpressibly
+for change of scene, and travelling offered very strong attractions
+to his restless mind.
+
+But a sudden revulsion of feeling came before long.  As they rode
+down the long, shady drive, and dismounted at the door of the Manor,
+he heard a childish voice calling him, and looking up, he saw Dot's
+little pale face eagerly watching him from her window.
+
+He mounted the stairs very slowly, struggling hard with himself.  Dot
+would certainly miss him very much, would be much happier if he did
+not go, and yet the craving within him for change was almost
+irresistible.  Oakdene began to feel like a prison to him.
+Selfishness, or, as he called it, common sense, whispered that it was
+mere folly to think he could always be tied down to one place.  It
+would be narrowing, cramping, bad for his health.  The absurdity of
+thinking of this, however, struck him with sudden force as he entered
+Dot's room.  How could he think of himself so much, when she lay on
+the same weary couch day after day, and yet contrived to be so
+patient!
+
+"I'm so glad you've come back, Dono," she exclaimed.  "Doery's been
+down in the housekeeper's room for hours, and Waif and I have been so
+dull."
+
+The loneliness rose up before him vividly--months and months of it.
+At the same time a glorious vision of life abroad--Italy,
+Switzerland, mountains, freedom!  He was quite silent, but Dot was
+accustomed to his taciturn moods, and chattered on contentedly.
+
+"And poor Waif, you forgot to take him with you, and he was so
+miserable when he heard you ride off, he scratched at the door and
+whined dreadfully, and I couldn't of course get up to let him out, so
+at last he came back very sadly with his tail between his legs, and
+cuddled up to me for comfort.  Do you know, Dono, I believe he begins
+to love you as I do, almost."
+
+"And you don't cry when I go out riding," said Donovan, smiling.
+
+"No, only when you go quite away; when you used to go back to school,
+and when Cousin Ellis took you away last time."
+
+"What a silly little Dot!  What makes you cry?"
+
+"Why, because I love you so," said Dot, wistfully.  "And everything
+seems so horrid when you're away.  Will you have to go away again, do
+you think?  Will Cousin Ellis and the lawyers want you any more?"
+
+"Oh! no, I shall not be going away again," he said, in rather a
+forced voice.  Then, after a pause: "I say, Dot, this room is
+stifling.  Shall I open the other window?"
+
+She assented, and he crossed the room quickly, threw up the sash,
+gulped down a mouthful of fresh air, and registered a silent vow that
+he would never leave her.
+
+"I wonder what makes your forehead look so battered to-day," resumed
+Dot, as he sat down beside her again.  "It always reminds me of a
+bent penny I had for a long time.  And some days the bend in the
+middle seems to show more.  I think it's on the days when you don't
+talk much."
+
+Donovan laughed heartily, shook off his taciturnity, and did his best
+according to Dot's principles to straighten his brow.
+
+"A phrenologist once told me that my forehead meant all sorts of
+things: mathematical ability, reasoning, and music, but he was sadly
+out, poor man, in that last, for I haven't a grain of music in me."
+
+"I wish you had," said Dot, "because I like it so much, and the
+hand-organs so very seldom come."
+
+"Shall I get one, and grind away in the passage?"
+
+"That would be always the same one.  We should get so tired of the
+tunes."
+
+"Yes," said Donovan, laughing again.  "Don't you remember the story
+of the organ-grinder who somehow came into some money, and the first
+thing he did was to rush frantically at his organ with, 'Bother! you
+shall never go round again,' and smash it to pieces."
+
+Dot laughed long and merrily.
+
+"I wish you could play the piano as Cousin Adela used to.  It sounded
+so nice coming up from the drawing-room."
+
+"Would you really like it?" said Donovan.  "I will try to learn then.
+We'll have a piano over from Greyshot, and it can be put up here."
+
+"Oh!  Dono, how delightful!  But won't it be dull for you, as you
+don't like music?  And do you think you'll be able to learn?"
+
+"We'll have no end of fun over it," he replied, cheerfully.  "And as
+to being able--I believe we're able to do anything we've a will for."
+
+That evening, after Mrs. Farrant had left the dinner-table, Donovan
+relieved his guardian's mind by one of his quick abrupt speeches.
+
+"On thinking it over, I find I had better not go abroad."
+
+"Oh! just as you like, my dear fellow," said Ellis, trying to conceal
+his satisfaction.  "Most happy to advance you the necessary funds,
+you know.  I should think though that, as you say, it would be better
+to stay here.  Your mother will be glad to have you."
+
+Donovan bit his lip, and did not reply, and Ellis, perfectly well
+aware that he had touched on a sore subject, changed the
+conversation.  His ward's decision was convenient.  For once he must
+be careful to please and humour him a little, so he renounced for a
+time the pleasure of irritating his victim, and they spent a very
+amicable evening over the billiard-table.
+
+It is an undisputed fact that one piece of villainy invariably leads
+to others.  When Ellis Farrant, in a moment of anger and
+disappointment, had destroyed his cousin's will, he never once
+thought of all it would lead to, but little by little he began to
+realise that a good deal of plotting and scheming would be necessary,
+and perhaps a few trifling deceptions and injustices, before he could
+profit by his crime.  He was relieved to find that the coldness
+between the mother and son still existed, for it was, of course, all
+in his favour.  He had rather dreaded the effects of those months of
+quiet intercourse; but all had gone as he wished.  Mrs. Farrant did
+not in the least understand Donovan, he was not in any sense a
+comfort to her, therefore there was all the more hope that she might
+be led to confide in Ellis, that he might become a necessary part of
+her existence.  During this visit he was obliged to be kind and
+conciliatory to his ward, and was too prudent to show any marked
+attentions to Mrs. Farrant, but he succeeded in enlivening the house
+wonderfully, and received a pressing invitation to come down in the
+autumn, bringing his sister Adela with him.  He remained till the
+12th of August, and then went up to the North for grouse-shooting,
+well satisfied with his success at Oakdene.
+
+The Manor was not a little dull after he left.  Mrs. Farrant, to
+relieve the monotony, sent out her cards, and found some slight
+occupation in receiving the visits of her neighbours and
+acquaintance.  Donovan rode in to Greyshot three times a week to his
+tutor's, studied "Mill's Logic," and worked hard at his music.
+Strangely, although he was really no lover of the art, he found a
+peculiar satisfaction in working even at the mechanical exercises;
+his master scarcely knew what to make of a pupil who, with very
+little actual talent, surmounted difficulties so quickly, and showed
+such untiring perseverance.  Indolent as he seemed, he could yet show
+the most indefatigable zeal when he had a sufficient motive, and,
+with a view to pleasing Dot, he bent his whole will to the work.
+
+With the exception of this satisfactory effort, the autumn was a very
+painful one to him.  As soon as his mother began to receive visitors
+again, he could not fail to become aware of the marked coldness with
+which almost everyone treated him.  He had never had any special
+friends in the neighbourhood, but now he noticed that old
+acquaintances who had formerly been civil and friendly looked askance
+at him; he was under a cloud, he had lost his good name.  It was not
+much to be wondered at, perhaps, and yet it seemed cruelly hard that
+he should be thus cut off from all intercourse with those better than
+himself.  The cautious world said, with its usual prudence, that it
+would never do not to show marked disapproval of disgrace and
+wrong-doing.  Donovan Farrant had been expelled from school for most
+dishonourable behaviour (his crimes were by this time absurdly
+exaggerated by report), it was quite impossible that he could be
+allowed to mix with the immaculate sons of the neighbouring homes.
+Intercourse must be as much as possible discouraged; the acquaintance
+was most undesirable.  A young man who never went to church, who had
+been seen at one of Raeburn's lectures, who was dangerously handsome,
+and unmitigatedly bad, could not be visited.  The neighbours all
+tried to ignore his existence; he was either entirely cut, or treated
+with the coldest and most distant civility.
+
+Misanthrope as he was, Donovan felt this treatment keenly, and
+resented it.  It was hard, and cruel, and unjust; he used it, as he
+used everything else at that time, as an argument against
+Christianity.  Nor did his mother make matters pleasanter to him.
+She, too, found out the coldness with which he was treated, and it
+vexed her; one or two of the more kind-hearted neighbours referred
+delicately to the subject, and, though Mrs. Farrant paid little
+attention to her son's doings as a rule, this roused her to
+remonstrate with him.
+
+"Donovan," she said, in her complaining tone, one evening, "I really
+wish you would be more careful how you go on.  Mrs. Ward was here
+to-day, and she said she was extremely sorry to hear that you had
+attended some shocking infidel lecture at Greyshot.  Is it true that
+you went?"
+
+"Perfectly, barring the adjectives," replied Donovan, crossing the
+room, and resting his elbow on the mantel-piece.
+
+"But really you should not do such things," said Mrs. Farrant,
+plaintively.  "What made you think of going?"
+
+"I wished to hear Luke Raeburn's views," said Donovan, still keeping
+his face steadily turned towards her.
+
+"It is absurd for a boy of your age to think of such things.  What
+can you understand about his views?"
+
+"More than I can of any other views.  But I'm no Raeburnite--I don't
+care enough for the human race."
+
+Mrs. Farrant wandered off to another grievance.
+
+"Well, I really wish you wouldn't get yourself so talked about; it's
+very unpleasant for me.  Why won't you come to church on Sunday, and
+be like other young men?"
+
+"Because, whatever I am, I'll not be a hypocrite," said Donovan, with
+some sharpness.
+
+There was silence for some minutes after this.  Mrs. Farrant fanned
+herself, and Donovan tormented the feathers of an Indian hand-screen.
+At last, with a rather softened expression, he continued--
+
+"I'm sorry, mother, if I spoke rudely, but that is a thing I cannot
+do to please anyone.  If you dislike my going to hear Raeburn so
+much, I will not do it again."
+
+"I only wish you not to make yourself a byword to the neighbourhood,"
+said Mrs. Farrant, rather peevishly.  "I do not care what you do as
+long as you behave respectably."
+
+"No, you care for nothing, I see, as long as people hold their
+tongues," said Donovan, with one of his rare and curiously sudden
+bursts of passion.  "Is it wonderful that I should be going to the
+dogs, when this is all you give me?  What else can you expect?"
+
+She did not in the least understand him, but his vehemence terrified
+her; she burst into tears.
+
+"It is very unkind of you to speak so angrily; you know how anything
+of this sort upsets me," she sobbed.  "I did think that the only son
+of a widow was expected to show some feeling for his mother, and
+you--you are only a grief and a disgrace to me."
+
+He was softened in an instant, tried to take her hand in his, and
+spoke as gently and tenderly as he would have spoken to Dot.
+
+"Forgive me, mother--I am a wretch; but indeed, if you would let me,
+I would try to be more to you."
+
+He would have said more, but words never came easily to him, and he
+felt half choked now with emotion.
+
+"You are so inconsiderate," said Mrs. Farrant, drying her eyes.  "I'm
+sure I wish your guardian were here; he at least would have some
+sympathy with me.  I wish you would try to copy him a little more."
+
+The reference to one whom Donovan so little-liked or respected was
+very trying; he drew back.
+
+"It is just as I told you at Porthkerran," continued Mrs. Farrant.
+"You never think of anyone but yourself, you are always bringing
+trouble and sorrow to others."  Then, looking up, and seeing that
+Donovan, in his agitation, was breaking the feathers of the
+hand-screen, she sharpened her voice, "Cannot you even help
+destroying the things your poor father brought back?"
+
+He did not attempt to answer.  What was the use of speaking?  What
+was the use of trying to bridge over the hopeless gulf between them?
+It was more in despair than in passion that he flung down the screen
+and strode out of the room.
+
+After this there was peace for some little time, if such dreary
+aimless existence could be called peace.  There was, at any rate, no
+open disagreement.  Mrs. Farrant was too inert and Donovan too
+self-restrained to admit of frequent quarrels between them; they
+lived on in quiet coldness, meeting at meal times, talking on
+indifferent subjects, then parting again, each to resume his or her
+separate life.  There were faults perhaps on both sides, a resolute
+and continuous effort from either must have broken down such an
+unnatural state of things.  But neither of them made such an effort,
+Mrs. Farrant, even had she thought of it, would have been too
+indolent to persevere; Donovan had tried twice, and thrown up the
+attempt, at once too proud and too hopeless to resume it.
+
+In October Ellis Farrant came according to his promise, bringing his
+sister Adela with him.  She was some years his junior, and as she had
+the same class of good looks and general brilliancy as her brother,
+and dressed fashionably, she still passed for a "young" lady,
+although she was considerably over thirty.  Ellis had not introduced
+her to Oakdene without a special reason.  She of course knew nothing
+of the depth of his schemes, but he trusted her with enough to make
+her a valuable ally.
+
+"Now this is how matters stand," he had said to her, as they were
+driving from Greyshot to Oakdene.  "Mrs. Farrant is as dull as she
+well can be in this hole of a place, and I want to have plenty of
+opportunities for letting her feel that I can enliven it.  Do you
+understand me, or must I speak more plainly."
+
+His sister laughed and shrugged her shoulders.
+
+"Do not trouble yourself, I understand perfectly.  You wish to be
+beforehand with the army of suitors who are sure to attend upon a
+pretty, rich widow, by no means past her youth."
+
+"Exactly," said Ellis, rubbing his hands with satisfaction.  "Last
+time I was here I could do but little, it was too early days, for one
+thing, and then there was the boy to be looked after; but now I want
+you to engross him a little, and set me at liberty--do you see?"
+
+Adela Farrant laughed again.
+
+"You cunning Ellis!  You have entrapped me into a dull country house
+just to further your own ends, and then you set me down to amuse a
+schoolboy."
+
+"Pardon me, but he is by no means a boy," said Ellis.  "He is, or
+considers himself, all sorts of things, a philosopher, a radical, an
+atheist, and, joking apart, he really is old for his years.  You may
+find him a little stiff and haughty at first, but you'll soon get to
+know him, and he'll give you some amusement; besides, he's
+handsome--very--an Apollo--an Adonis."
+
+"And in his nineteenth year!" concluded Adela, with a gesture of
+contempt.  "However, I'll try to amuse him, out of regard for you.
+Why, here we are at the Manor, and there is your Apollo of the
+clustering curls at the door.  What a grave saturnine face! but
+you're quite right, he's very good-looking; Roman, not Greek, though.
+Augustus Cæsar come to life again."
+
+The first evening was, according to Ellis Farrant's views, a perfect
+success.  He had free scope for conversation with Mrs. Farrant, and
+she grew quite merry and talkative under the combined influence of
+his attentions and his sister's animation and gaiety.
+
+"It is so pleasant to hear fresh voices," she said at dinner time.
+"I grow very tired of _tête-à-tête_ dinners with Donovan."
+
+This was exactly what Ellis wished, it was quite an effort to conceal
+his satisfaction.  He looked at the young host at the head of the
+table, and wondered how he would enjoy being ousted from his position.
+
+Adela's work was not quite so easy.  She found Donovan very grave,
+almost repellent, not at all inclined to be more than coldly
+courteous.  She persevered, however, and, being clever and really
+good-natured, she gradually won her way.  Nor was she so dull as she
+had fancied would be the case.  The haughty _nil admirari_ spirit of
+her special charge rather attracted her.  She found herself really
+anxious to win his good opinion, and set herself to find out his
+likes and dislikes.  And Donovan really liked her in a manner, was
+grateful for her kindness, and felt a sort of relief in having a
+bright, talkative, pleasant woman in the house.  When Ellis did not
+care to go out shooting, Adela generally proposed a ride, and so
+managed to engross her young cousin for two or three hours; in the
+evening, too, she would keep him turning over the leaves of her music
+in the back drawing-room, leaving her brother to amuse Mrs. Farrant,
+and her light, meaningless talk generally sufficed to prevent the
+chance of their being interrupted by Donovan.
+
+Sometimes, however, her conversation jarred on his mind.  One
+afternoon when Adela in her light fawn-coloured dress was sauntering
+round the garden, gathering a few late roses, with her usual cavalier
+in attendance, their talk turned upon rather graver matters than was
+ordinarily the case.
+
+"What a pretty view that is of the church tower," she exclaimed.  "I
+should like to sketch it, such a tiny grey little place it is! but
+really I was quite surprised last Sunday to find it a regular resort
+of fashion, the toilettes were amazing, quite a study; your mother
+says that the people come to it from Greyshot, that they are
+attracted by the surpliced choir and the chanting.  It seems so odd
+to think of things of that sort being novelties; you are dreadfully
+behind the world here in Mountshire."
+
+"No great loss perhaps in those matters," said Donovan.
+
+"What a prosaic mind you have!" said his cousin, lightly.  "And,
+by-the-by, that reminds me, I meant to take you to task before.  Last
+Sunday I looked round expecting to find you ready to carry my
+prayer-book, and behold! you were nowhere to be seen.  Your mother
+says you never do go to church.  How is that? it is really very
+shocking, you know."
+
+"One can't profess what one does not believe," said Donovan, gravely.
+
+Adela passed on into the greenhouse and cut the last rose there
+before replying; then, joining him again, she said, in her light half
+laughing tone,
+
+"You men are really dreadful now-a-days, the whole race seems to have
+grown sceptical.  Now, why don't you come to church, and be good and
+orthodox?"
+
+As she spoke she handed him the rose to put into the basket.  It was
+an exquisite blush rose, and he held it in his hand abstractedly, not
+exactly seeing its beauty, and yet feeling some subtle influence from
+its purity and fragrance.  He did not answer, and Adela continued:
+
+"Don't think I shall be hard on you, there never was a more lenient
+person--besides, scepticism is always interesting.  Not, you know,
+that I am not all that is proper and orthodox, you mustn't think that
+for a moment.  I like to be _comme il faut_ in everything--that is
+not quite a right expression, is it? more suited to matters of
+etiquette than religion,--however, it does not signify, turn it into
+Latin in your mind.  I am very orthodox, but I can quite sympathise
+with sceptics--is that sense?  Now do tell me why you don't believe
+the things that I believe; they say it is always well to hear all
+sides of a question, and on this subject I have scarcely heard
+anything."
+
+She had rattled on in her usual fashion without looking up; had she
+noticed the change in Donovan's face, her womanly tact would have
+warned her to be more careful, for he looked as nearly contemptuous
+as good manners would allow.  His voice, was grave and displeased as
+he replied, and had a strange ring of pain in it.
+
+"It is not a subject I care to discuss, thank you."
+
+They walked on in silence, Donovan trying uneasily to understand his
+own feelings.  _Why_ did he not care to discuss this subject?  Was it
+that his cousin's lightness jarred on him? was there some latent
+sense of reverence in him--some yet slumbering faith faintly touched
+by her flippant tones?  Or was it--could it be--that he, Donovan
+Farrant, was ashamed of the views he held? ashamed of not being like
+the rest of the world?
+
+Adela knew, from the tone of the answer which her question received,
+that she had made a mistake; flippant, conventional, semi-religious
+talk evidently grated somehow on her cousin's mind; she made haste to
+recover her place in his estimation by referring to the subject
+nearest his heart.
+
+"Shall we take these flowers to Dot?  She likes flowers in her room,
+doesn't she?"
+
+His brow cleared instantly.
+
+"Yes, let us go.  Dot is very fond of you, Cousin Adela; you have
+cheered her up wonderfully."
+
+Adela smiled; her kindness to little Dot was the one fair bright spot
+in her life just then; it was pleasant to dwell on one thing in which
+her motive was really good, and she was too really kind to like to
+remember that she was acting as a sort of decoy towards Donovan.
+
+Dot held out her hands eagerly for the flowers.
+
+"What beauties!" she cried.  "I was afraid they were all over."
+
+Donovan took the blush rose and arranged it in her dress, where its
+soft colours helped to relieve the blackness.
+
+"You and Cousin Adela have had such a long talk," said Dot, watching
+with interest while the flowers were arranged in her vase.  "I saw
+you from my window.  What were you talking about?"
+
+"Oh!" said Adela, with a little pause, as she adjusted a leaf, "we
+were talking about the church."
+
+"There's many changes there, miss," said Mrs. Doery, looking up from
+her work.  "Seems to be the way with these new-fangled ministers.
+Still they say the boys in their whites is very attractive, and
+nobody can't deny that the church is fuller than it used to be."
+
+"I have been telling Mr. Donovan that Mountshire is very much behind
+the world," said Adela.  "In our parts we should be quite surprised
+not to find a choir."
+
+"Well, miss, I suppose it's very right and proper, but for myself I
+liked the old days when we had just the parson and the clerk.  Now
+they sing-song all the things so, and I can't seem to pick myself up."
+
+Adela tried not to laugh, and asked the name of the clergyman.
+
+"Mr. Golding, he's the white-haired one.  You'd 'ave thought he was
+too old to like such new ways, but I make no doubt he's led on by the
+curate, who is but young; and as to him, miss, he gets through the
+service so quick you wouldn't believe, but I never can hear a word
+when he reads off the old fowl's back."
+
+Adela and Donovan burst out laughing, and no sense of the respect due
+to Mrs. Doery could stop them.  Dot, not understanding, looked
+perplexed till Adela explained.
+
+"The reading-desk in church, dear, the lectern, is like an eagle.
+Oh!  Mrs. Doery, you mustn't mind our laughing, but really that is
+worthy of _Punch_."
+
+Doery was, luckily, not at all offended.  She could not pretend to
+learn all the new names they gave the things, and probably she
+thought of the lectern as the "old fowl" till the day of her death.
+
+After a certain fashion, Adela's visit really did Donovan some good.
+It roused him from his moody silence, made a change in his monotonous
+life, and shielded him to some extent from Ellis Farrant's
+annoyances.  For, during this visit, Ellis was not all careful to
+keep himself in the boy's good graces, and, in the brief time that
+they were necessarily thrown together, managed to annoy him
+considerably.  Donovan had always the ruffled, uncomfortable
+consciousness that his guardian was making a good thing out of his
+office.  He was naturally very careless about money matters, scarcely
+giving them a thought; but even easy and generous natures are often
+roused by feeling that they are being traded upon.  The length and
+frequency of his cousin's visits might be overlooked perhaps, but
+when, in the course of the month, he went with Donovan to some races
+at a neighbouring town, and coolly put down all the expenses to Mrs.
+Farrant, his ward was naturally indignant; and this happened not once
+only, but several times.  The loss of the money was nothing, but the
+injustice was very irritating.  Injustice was Donovan's watchword,
+and this slight but aggravating specimen of it was a constant thorn
+in his side.
+
+Another vexing thing was Ellis Farrant's behaviour to his mother.  He
+used to perform all kinds of little services for her; waiting on her
+sedulously on every possible occasion, with a marked ostentation
+which seemed always trying to indicate to Donovan, "This is what you
+ought to do."  Even had such attentions been possible to him, he
+would have been for too proud to take such a broad hint, and Ellis
+was probably aware of this, or he would not have risked giving the
+advice: it was everything to him that Mrs. Farrant should feel the
+great difference between his conduct and her son's.  On the whole,
+there was some reason in Donovan's complaint that autumn--life had
+always seemed to him hard and perplexing, and it grew more so.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+THE BLACK SHEEP OF OAKDENE.
+
+  O, ye wha are sae guid yoursel',
+    Sae pious, and sae holy,
+  Ye've nought to do but mark and tell
+    Your neebour's faults and folly.
+  Ye see your state with theirs compar'd,
+    And shudder at the niffer,
+  But cast a moment's fair regard
+    What maks the mighty differ?
+
+  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
+
+  Wi' wind and tide fair i' your tail,
+    Right on ye scud your sea-way,
+  But in the teeth o' baith to sail,
+    It makes an unco lee way.
+
+  _Address to the Unco Guid, or Rigidly Righteous_.  BURNS.
+
+
+"I may be wrong, Mr. Ward.  I can't pretend to much wisdom.  I'm an
+old, unlettered man, but it seems to me that folks are rather hard on
+the poor boy; but I may be wrong, I quite allow I may be wrong."
+
+The speaker was a grey-haired, elderly man, with a thin, worn face,
+kind eyes, and rather bent shoulders.  His companion, Mr. Ward, was
+the Squire of Oakdene, a short, broad, grey-whiskered country
+gentleman, somewhat bluff, but still good-natured enough in his way.
+The two were returning from a meeting of the church-wardens on an
+afternoon in January, and happening to see Donovan Farrant sauntering
+along the road in front of them, with his dog at his heels, they had
+begun to talk of him.
+
+"I'm sure I wish to be hard on no one," said the squire, swinging his
+stick rather vigorously.  "But you know, Hayes, the fellow has a very
+bad reputation.  No one has a good word to say for him."
+
+"Poor boy," said old Mr. Hayes, compassionately.  "I suppose it's all
+true; but you know one must remember that he's never had a father to
+look after him."
+
+"Yes, I know that," said the squire, reflectively; he had sons of his
+own, and had very strong ideas about paternal influence.  "That's
+quite true, and may excuse him to a certain extent.  But then it's
+impossible to take up with him.  I couldn't have him mixing with
+Harry and Ned.  It isn't that I wish to be uncivil to the boy, but
+really it would be most unwise.  I don't know what Mrs. Ward would
+say if I proposed it.  Now you, Hayes, it's different with you;
+you're a bachelor, and could easily be a little friendly with him."
+
+"Yes," hesitated Mr. Hayes; "but you know I'm afraid he'd find me a
+very dull companion.  I'm only a stupid old man, and he is young, and
+very clever, they say."
+
+"Bosh!" said the squire, contemptuously--"he ought to be proud to
+shake hands with you.  You're a great deal too humble-minded, Hayes.
+I've no idea of being so deferential to the young generation.
+There's a great deal too little of the Fifth Commandment now-a-days;
+it wasn't so when I was a boy."
+
+"I felt very sorry for them this Christmas," resumed Mr. Hayes,
+gently; "the Manor must have been a sad house; but it's very hard to
+know how to help people when you can't send them blankets, or coals,
+or Christmas dinners."
+
+"And young Farrant is a precious deal too proud to be helped in any
+way," said Mr. Ward, with a laugh.  "But, after all, I am sorry for
+the boy; it's a sad start in life to have lost one's good name.
+What's he after now, stooping down in the snow?  We shall catch him
+up, and, if so, I must speak to him."
+
+A miserable-looking cat, drenched with water, and with a tin pot tied
+to its tail, had been lying half dead by the roadside.  Donovan, who
+was a great lover of animals, had of course hastened to the rescue;
+he had just released the poor terrified creature from its instrument
+of torture, and was holding it in his arms, rubbing its wet draggled
+fur, when, hearing steps, he glanced round, and found himself face to
+face with Mr. Ward and Mr. Hayes.  The colour rushed to his cheeks;
+he had not time to assume the look of cold haughty indifference with
+which he usually confronted his neighbours.  He looked so handsome
+and boyish, and so unlike a reprobate, that Mr. Ward felt his
+compassion rising and his scruples diminishing; besides, the
+conversation had rather softened him, and he held out his hand
+cordially.
+
+"Well, Farrant, how are you?  Mrs. Farrant is quite well, I hope?
+You know Mr. Hayes, don't you?  Why, what's that?--a drowned cat?"
+
+"Some brute of a boy has nearly killed it," said Donovan, indignation
+making him speak naturally.  "I think it will come round, though, as
+soon as I can get it to a fire."
+
+That an atheist should bestow his attention on a stray cat was very
+surprising to the squire.  He began to like the fellow.  After all,
+there was some good in him.
+
+"Had any skating yet?" he asked, in his kindly voice.
+
+"No; our pond is half overgrown with mares-tail; besides, it's too
+small to be worth anything."
+
+"Oh! you must come over to our place," said the squire, with
+good-humour, which astonished Mr. Hayes.  "Our young people have been
+on the small lake to-day, and I daresay the large one will bear
+to-morrow.  You used to be rather a swell at skating, if I remember
+right."
+
+"I am very fond of it," said Donovan, and his eyes danced.
+
+"Then come over to-morrow, and whenever you like; it isn't often we
+get a frost like this."
+
+"Thank you--I will be sure to come," said Donovan; and as they parted
+he lifted his eyes to the squire's with a long searching look, at
+once wistful and surprised; then, whistling to Waif, he walked away
+with the cat under his arm.
+
+"Now what on earth did I do that for?" said the squire, as he and Mr.
+Hayes turned down the lane leading to the Hall gates.  "I don't know
+what my wife will say, but really, Hayes, I don't dislike the boy;
+and how his face lighted up at the thought of the skating!  He's not
+a bad fellow, after all."
+
+Mr. Ward was quite right in surmising that his wife would be vexed
+when she heard of the invitation he had given; he tried hard to
+mention it casually when he got home, but there was an undisguisable
+anxiety in his voice as he observed,
+
+"Oh! by-the-by, my dear, I met young Farrant just now, and asked him
+to come over for skating to-morrow."
+
+Mrs. Ward looked up with as much annoyance as it was possible for a
+good, kind-hearted woman to show.
+
+"You asked Donovan Farrant to come _here_?"
+
+"Not to the house, my dear, only to skate on the lake.  I really
+don't see how I could avoid it; he is a first-rate skater, and this
+is the only ice for miles round."
+
+"But only the other day, Edward, you said you wouldn't have him about
+with the boys on any account.  I really think you might be more
+careful.  It will be beginning an intimacy, and then, with such near
+neighbours, we shall find it impossible to break it off.  It is just
+the most dangerous time, too, with Harry back from Oxford, ready to
+make friends with anyone, and Ned fresh from school."
+
+"My dear, surely they needn't become friends because they skate on
+the same lake; besides, I assure you young Farrant is not so bad as
+people make out."
+
+"Well, Edward, he is not at all the kind of companion I like for the
+boys, and I've heard you say the same thing yourself.  No one visits
+him, he reads with that Mr. Alleyne at Greyshot, a most unprincipled
+man, and you yourself heard that he attended Raeburn's lectures."
+
+"I heard that he had been seen at one," said the squire, rather
+testily.
+
+"And that is quite enough, I am sure, to prove him an unfit companion
+for our children," replied Mrs. Ward.  "Only the other day, too, I
+met him at the library and heard him asking for books on Positivism;
+besides, no one invented the account of his school life, I suppose."
+
+"Well, he's not likely to talk either of Raeburn or of Positivism on
+the ice, I should think," said Mr. Ward, with a smile.  "Come, my
+dear, it is not like you to be inhospitable, let the poor fellow be
+here just this once."
+
+"Of course he must come now you have asked him," said Mrs. Ward, with
+a sigh.  "But I am vexed about it.  I do think one should be careful
+with boys like Harry and Ned, and with three girls only just out.
+Donovan Farrant is so good-looking."
+
+She sighed again.  The squire laughed heartily.
+
+"Now about the boys I don't feel so positive, I own, but you may set
+your mind quite at rest about the girls, for this dangerous young
+fellow whom you dread so much is a professed woman-hater.  And you
+know, my dear, even the author of evil is not so black as he's
+painted."
+
+Mrs. Ward sighed, but she said no more, only secretly in her heart
+she hoped the frost would not continue.
+
+Donovan was on the ice before anyone else the next morning, and for
+some time had the lake to himself.  By-and-by two or three carriages
+drove up with people from the neighbourhood whom he knew slightly,
+and towards the middle of the day the squire and his two sons came
+down, but, beyond an ordinary greeting, very little passed between
+them.  The squire was too good-natured a man not to feel glad that,
+in spite of his wife's scruples, he had invited the objectionable
+neighbour to come; his intense enjoyment and his first-rate skating
+were pleasant to watch, too.  Mr. Ward really felt sorry when, early
+in the afternoon, he saw him taking off his skates."
+
+"You are leaving very soon," he said, kindly.  "I hope it is not on
+account of luncheon.  Won't you come up to the house and have
+something?"
+
+The invitation slipped out naturally, the squire found it hard not to
+be hospitable.  But luckily Donovan declined.  He never left Dot now
+for a whole day, and, giving the ordinary excuse of "an engagement,"
+he left the lake, the squire of course inviting him to come again the
+next day, and as long as the frost lasted.
+
+Mrs. Ward was much relieved when, on coming down from the house with
+her daughters and her niece, she found that the object of her alarms
+was really gone.  Everyone was singing his praises--that was a little
+annoying, certainly--but she learnt from her husband that he had been
+far too much taken up with his figure-cutting to trouble the boys
+with his company, and with that she was satisfied, and dismissed the
+subject from her thoughts.
+
+The next day, however, was not nearly so propitious.  To begin with,
+the girls would go on the ice in the morning, and, though Mrs. Ward
+hurried over her housekeeping and followed them as quickly as
+possible, she found that already the intimacy which she so much
+dreaded had begun.  The first sight that met her eyes as she emerged
+from the shrubbery was a little knot of people gathered together on
+the bank.  Her husband leaning on his stick and talking jocosely, her
+younger daughter, and her niece, Maggie White, just preparing for
+their first start, and Donovan Farrant kneeling in the snow, putting
+on her elder daughter's skates.  It was very provoking!  Why had not
+the girls been more careful?  Why had she not sent down the servant
+to help them?  Why did her husband stand there so carelessly,
+laughing and talking?  Her greeting to Donovan was stiff and chill,
+but he was much too happy to care, the day was gloriously fine, the
+frosty air invigorating, Mr. Ward and his daughters had been kind and
+friendly, Maggie White was bewitching, for once in his life Donovan
+was perfectly and healthily happy.  He had been on the ice for some
+time, his usually pale, dark face was all aglow with the exercise,
+and his eyes were sparkling with excitement, he certainly looked most
+provokingly handsome, and perhaps there was some cause for Mrs.
+Ward's anxiety,
+
+"How could you let him help the girls like that?" she said,
+reproachfully, as the skaters glided swiftly away.  "I thought,
+Edward, you told me he was a regular misanthrope."
+
+"Well, I don't see that he has done much harm, my dear,"' said the
+squire.  "Common courtesy would require him to help the ladies, and
+I'm glad to see him lose that cold proud look; he was more of a boy
+to-day."
+
+"I have warned the girls to be careful, but there's no knowing what
+Maggie will do.  She's a dreadful little flirt!" and Mrs. Ward looked
+anxiously across the lake to the place where Donovan was giving her
+niece a lesson in the figure eight.
+
+"Well," said the squire, consolingly, "Maggie's a very nice girl, at
+any rate, and if she is, as you say, a flirt, then you may be pretty
+sure that she won't get her heart broken.  Ah! here come the
+Fortescues.  We have quite a nice number here to-day;" and the
+hospitable old gentleman hastened forward to receive his friends.
+
+"You are the only good skater here," said Maggie, looking up
+admiringly at her instructor.  "Where did you learn?  And how can you
+manage to do all those wonderful figures?"
+
+"They are only learnt by practice," said Donovan.  "I learnt at
+school, and at my old home near London.  You can do anything well, if
+you give your whole will to it."
+
+"Can you?" said Maggie.  "I can't.  I expect I've had as many weeks
+of skating as you have had days.  I come from Canada, you know; but I
+shall never be able to do these figures as you do."
+
+It was pleasant to be made much of and flattered; an entirely new
+experience to Donovan.  He thought Maggie White the prettiest and
+pleasantest girl he had ever seen.  They talked on naturally and
+easily, and it was not surprising perhaps that Donovan was in no
+hurry to part with his new companion, or that he enjoyed skating
+rapidly up and down the lake hand in hand with her more than cutting
+figures by himself.  Nor did it occur to Maggie that she was guilty
+of any great enormity in enjoying herself too.  Once she said, in her
+pretty way,
+
+"I am keeping you from doing what you like, please go away and leave
+me.  I am taking up all your time, and spoiling your skating."
+
+And Donovan, though he was no "lady's man," could answer very
+truthfully,
+
+"You are making me enjoy it perfectly."
+
+Then they began to talk again of Canada, and she described all its
+delights to him.
+
+"Such fun we used to have in the skating season.  Sometimes we had
+regular balls on the ice.  It was so delightful!  Oh!  Mr.
+Farrant"--as a sudden thought struck her--"could we dance now?  I'm
+sure you, who skate so beautifully, would waltz to perfection."
+
+It was very innocently proposed.  In a minute Maggie had proclaimed
+the news to her cousins as they passed.
+
+"We are going to dance.  Why don't you?"  And then in a minute the
+deed was done, and Mrs. Ward saw with dismay that Donovan Farrant and
+her niece were actually dancing together.
+
+Ice-waltzing was a novelty at Oakdene, and everyone turned to watch
+the graceful movements of the little Canadian girl and her partner.
+Twice they made the circuit of the lake, then, as they passed near
+the bank where Mrs. Ward and one of her daughters were standing,
+Donovan overheard the words:
+
+"I must stop this.  With Donovan Farrant, too.  The last person in
+the world----"
+
+Maggie felt a quick movement in the arm that was round her waist, and
+suddenly her partner stopped, saying, in an odd changed voice,
+
+"I think Mrs. Ward wishes to speak to you."
+
+"To me?  All right, auntie, I'm coming.  I won't be a minute, Mr.
+Farrant."
+
+She skated swiftly to the bank, and listened, with downcast eyes, to
+her aunt's words.
+
+"My dear, I don't quite approve of this.  I'm sorry to interrupt your
+pleasure, but you must allow me to judge in this instance."  Then, as
+Donovan drew near, she turned to him, trying to convey her meaning as
+civilly as she could.  "I have been telling my niece that I think
+perhaps ice-dancing is a little out of place here.  You will
+understand, I am sure, Mr. Farrant."
+
+Yes, he understood perfectly.  The face which had so lately been
+boyishly happy and bright was suddenly overcast, the eyes saddened,
+the mouth re-assumed its bitter look, and, without a single word,
+Donovan raised his hat, turned away, and skated rapidly to the other
+end of the lake.
+
+The brightness of the day was gone for him after that.  He went on
+skating, but with no animation.  Once young Ned Ward came up and
+asked him to do the figure of double eight, with which he had been
+astonishing the quiet Oakdene skaters early in the morning, but be
+complied so moodily that the boy soon left him to seek more genial
+companions.  Then Donovan resolved to go home.  He had been repulsed,
+and, just as it was in his home life, so too, in this instance, one
+repulse was enough.  He had neither enough love nor enough humility
+to lay himself open again to the chance of a fresh rebuff.  After the
+first, he invariably shrank into himself, becoming a little harder,
+and colder, and more severe in manner.
+
+He skated to a deserted corner of the lake, climbed the bank, and
+took off his skates; then involuntarily he looked back on the
+animated scene with a sore-hearted regret.  The sun was already
+getting low, though it was not three o'clock; its level rays cast a
+red glow over the wide white expanse, dotted here and there by the
+dark gliding figures of the skaters.  The shore was fringed with tall
+trees, their black stems serving as a relief to the general
+whiteness, and their branches drooping gracefully under the heavy yet
+feathery-looking rime.  There was an intense stillness in the sharp
+frosty air, the voices of the merry crowd rang out clearly; once
+Donovan felt sure he heard Maggie White's girlish laugh, and it
+grated on him.  But in another minute all his morbid and selfish
+thoughts were suddenly scattered to the winds, for while he was still
+looking across the lake he saw the ice in the centre bend, then, with
+one vast booming crack, it parted asunder.  In an instant all was
+confusion.  Donovan sprang from the bank, and ran at full speed to
+the scene of the disaster, all petty and personal feelings driven out
+by the absorbing general interest and alarm.  Several people were in
+the water, struggling, sinking, rising, vainly clutching at the
+slippery edges of the broken ice.  Those who were safe bent forward
+helplessly on their skates, trying to reach a hand to their friends
+in distress, or calling loudly for help, for ropes, for every sort of
+aid which was not at hand.  Two ladies were submerged; Donovan coolly
+selected one of them while he drew off his coat, then, without an
+instant's hesitation, he plunged into the icy water.  His example was
+speedily followed by Harry Ward, ropes were hastily brought on to the
+ice, the rescue began to seem hopeful.  Donovan was an expert
+swimmer; a few strokes brought him up to the sinking girl, who,
+dragged down by the weight of her skates, was being drawn in under
+the ice.  From this he freed her without much difficulty, but she was
+insensible, and he found that to get her out of the water was quite
+another matter; he tried several times, but without success; each
+time the edges of the ice broke away with the weight, and all he
+could do was to keep her head above water, while with increasing
+difficulty he struck out with his free arm.  The others had been
+rescued, or were being helped, and at length a rope was brought to
+his aid, a noose was thrown round him and his burden, and, after a
+short fierce struggle, he found himself safely on the ice.
+
+With a masculine dislike of being helped, he sprang quickly to his
+feet, left his insensible burden to the care of other hands, and
+looked round for his coat.  Perhaps those who had seen him helped out
+with the rope did not know he was a rescuer--perhaps, in the
+excitement and hurry of the moment, he was overlooked; at any rate,
+no one spoke to him, and all at once his sore morose feeling returned
+with double force.  The people were beginning to leave the ice
+quickly, the girl whom Donovan had rescued began to revive and was
+carried up to the house; he turned away in the opposite direction,
+picked up his skates from the bank where he had left them, and strode
+fiercely away in the direction of the Manor.  He had done his best;
+one word of praise, or even of recognition, would have sent him home
+happy, but by some odd chance, even when he deserved commendation, he
+failed to get it.  Probably he would have disliked being thanked
+above all things, and yet the absence of gratitude irritated him; it
+was unjust, no one ever gave him his due, the world was full of
+injustice.  Over and over in his mind went the weary, bitter,
+discontented cry; perhaps his outward condition affected him a
+little, adding fuel to the flame, for, although he considered himself
+too philosophic to be troubled by mere bodily inconveniences, the
+truth was that he felt them more than most men, though he had great
+powers of endurance.  The icy cold bath which he had just had, and
+the discomfort of his cold, clinging, dripping clothes, at any rate
+served to remind him continually of his grievance, just as the wound
+he had received in the school gauntleting had reminded him for days
+of that injustice.  He had scarcely passed the Hall gates, when he
+was roused from his dismal thoughts by an unexpected greeting.
+
+"Nice bright afternoon," said old Mr. Hayes, shaking his hand.  "Have
+you been on the ice?  Ah, yes, I see you have your skates."
+
+"Yes; there's been an accident," said Donovan, "so I am going home.
+The ice on the large lake gave way."
+
+"Bless me!--no one hurt, I hope?  Did anyone go in?  Why, now I
+notice you are all wet.  Dear, dear! what a terrible thing!  How many
+people fell in?"
+
+"I should think about half a dozen," replied Donovan, swinging his
+skates and trying to look unconcerned.
+
+"And all were rescued? that's a comfort.  And you were helped out
+quickly, I hope?"
+
+"Oh! yes," said Donovan, too proud to explain, "I was hauled out."
+
+"Poor fellow! but what a shock it must have been!  You'll be taking a
+chill.  You must come in with me and have something hot, yes, indeed
+you must, I'll take no denial.  Here we are, you see, at my door.
+Come in quickly and have something, and then walk home briskly and
+change.  Now what shall it be, whisky-punch or negus!  I'm an
+abstemious man generally, but this is the real time for such things,
+wet to the skin and chilled to the bone, dear, dear!  Now come in,
+come in."
+
+Mr. Hayes had not been disabused of the old ideas about alcohol, but,
+whether he was right or wrong, Donovan's brow gradually relaxed under
+the influence of the old man's kindness and hospitality; he followed
+him obediently into the little villa, which, though only inhabited by
+the bachelor Mr. Hayes, was as scrupulously neat as any old maid's
+dwelling.
+
+Mr. Hayes rang the bell in the little parlour, all the time making
+much of his guest.  Could he not accommodate him with a change of
+clothes?  Should he send up to the Manor, &c.
+
+A grave staid housekeeper appeared to answer the bell, and Mr. Hayes
+perhaps thought it would be well to quicken her movements by telling
+her the news of the village.
+
+"Some hot water and a lemon and some sugar, please, Mrs. Brown.
+There has been an accident on the ice in the Hall grounds, and this
+gentleman has been in the water and is very wet."
+
+Then the old man went to the cellaret, and, the housekeeper having
+returned with the other ingredients, he began with infinite pleasure
+and fussiness to make the punch.  He would not let Donovan stay for
+long, but as soon as he had done justice to the steaming beverage,
+started him on his walk home, with paternal injunctions not to stay
+about in his wet things, and to be sure to come in again soon and
+cheer up a solitary old bachelor.
+
+Donovan smiled to himself at the last speech.  Was it not rather the
+"solitary old bachelor;" who had cheered him?  The kindness and
+hospitality drove away for the time his gloomy thoughts, but they
+returned to him as he entered his own home and threw down his skates.
+
+"Good-bye to you, at any rate," he murmured.  "I shall never go there
+again."
+
+Dot, with her quick all-observing eyes, saw at once that something
+was wrong when Donovan came into her room.  Yesterday he had returned
+in the highest spirits, that very morning he had started with the
+look of bright expectation on his face which the little sister liked
+to see, but; now he was grave and sad, with the expression which he
+always wore when any allusion was made to his school disgrace--the
+expression which Dot never cared to put into words--a hard, bad look.
+
+"You are back earlier than you said," she began.  "Have you not had
+good skating?"
+
+"Yes--no," he moved away from her to the fireplace, and kicked the
+coals in the grate with his heel.
+
+"He never stirs the fire with his foot except when something is
+wrong," soliloquized Dot; then aloud,
+
+"Have you seen mamma, Dono?"
+
+"No."
+
+It could not be any quarrel, then, in that quarter.  What could have
+happened?  He was so disinclined to talk, however, that she did not
+venture to ask any more questions, and in a minute or two he walked
+across the room, opened the piano, and began to practise.  He had
+chosen something of Sebastian Bach's, and laboured away at it, at
+first mechanically and doggedly enough, but by degrees with immense
+satisfaction and relief to himself.  A stately, measured, dignified
+strain it was, with one little fidgety, fugue-like passage; he played
+five bars of it over and over till the disappointment, and anger, and
+moodiness gradually died out of his heart, and poor Dot began to beg
+for mercy.
+
+"You must have played it a thousand times," she said, laughing, and
+Donovan laughed too, left the piano, and came to sit beside her.
+
+"Bach is as good as a tonic," he said, cheerfully.  "That old fellow
+always sets me right,"
+
+She saw now that she might talk to him, and began to question him
+about his day.  He always told her his troubles, but this afternoon
+he tried to make light of them.
+
+"We had a glorious time in the morning, the ice was perfect.  About
+the middle of the time the Miss Wards came down, and their cousin,
+Miss White, a very pretty girl from Canada.  She skated nicely, was
+much more up to things than anyone else, and for a little while we
+danced together.  Mrs. Ward did not approve of that, though.  I
+overheard her say something not too complimentary, and then she
+managed somehow to stop it, at which, you know, Dot, I was just a
+little cross.  But, just as I was coming away, guess what happened."
+
+"An accident!  Oh! was it an accident?" cried Dot, excitedly.  "And
+you were brave and helped the others, and Mrs. Ward was obliged to
+like you very much?"
+
+He laughed a little, but rather sadly.
+
+"No, Dot.  You are running on too fast.  I was born under an unlucky
+star, and shall never be able to win honour or respect."
+
+He gave her a detailed account of the whole affair, and was rewarded
+by her delighted pride in his attempted rescue.
+
+"Dono dear, you ought to have a medal for it, a medal, you know, from
+the Society for Promoting--what is it?"
+
+"Cruelty to animals," suggested Donovan, wickedly.
+
+"No, no, you bad boy.  Something about being 'humane' and they give
+medals to people who save people's lives.  Just fancy, Dono, you
+could wear it on your watch-chain.  It would be so nice."
+
+"Too nice for the like of me," he said, lightly, but with a stifled
+sigh.  "They keep things of that sort for the good boys."
+
+"And no one even thanked you?  That was a shame," said the little
+sister, indignantly.  "Never mind, Dono, you are my hero, my very
+own, and you're the dearest old boy in the world."
+
+Perhaps it was as well that the frost only lasted three days longer.
+The skaters grumbled sadly, but two people at Oakdene were
+considerably relieved.  The one was Mrs. Ward, who rejoiced that
+"that dangerous young man" could not again imperil her children, the
+other was the "dangerous young man" himself.  But if Donovan did not
+easily forget injustice, neither did he forget even the most trifling
+piece of kindness.  After his next day's shooting, he left a brace of
+pheasants at old Mr. Hayes' door, and this made an opening for a
+further acquaintance.  Mr. Hayes wrote to ask him to dinner, and, as
+such invitations were rare, Donovan was pleased enough to go.  It was
+a _tête-à-tête_ dinner.  Old Mr. Hayes was past sixty, and Donovan
+not yet nineteen, but, in spite of this disparity in age, the evening
+was a very pleasant one, and did him good.  It was a fresh interest,
+an insight into a new home, and also into a life whose simplicity,
+kindliness, and content could not fail to strike the most casual
+observer.
+
+Mr. Hayes lived very frugally as a rule.  The game was an unwonted
+luxury, and his evident appreciation of it was very pleasant to
+Donovan.  He himself had a hearty but philosophic appetite, to which
+nothing came amiss, dainty discrimination was not at all in his line,
+but he enjoyed watching old Mr. Hayes discuss his present, glad that
+what had been pleasure to him in the shooting should be real pleasure
+to some one else in the eating.
+
+"You are like Squire Thornhill in 'The Vicar of Wakefield,'" said Mr.
+Hayes, when the house-keeper had removed the game, "who brought his
+own venison with him when he dined at the vicarage.  What!  You don't
+know the book?  Is it possible?  Well, I suppose it's old and behind
+the times now; but, my word! how I have laughed over it, and cried,
+too, for the matter of that.  'Moses at the Fair,' and then 'Olivia!'
+Ah! he was a grand fellow, old Goldsmith.  There are no such writers
+now-a-days."
+
+Then by-and-by some question of Donovan's drew out an account of Mr.
+Hayes' former life, the rough discipline of the old boarding-schools,
+the early drudgery in a merchant's office, his gradual advance till
+he had become a partner in the firm, the losses they had had in the
+time of the Crimean War, finally his ill-health, and his retirement,
+with a modest income, to the little country villa.  A life of toil,
+and care, and hardship, with what seemed a very slight reward to
+Donovan, but which the old man himself evidently considered quite
+sufficient.
+
+"And now, you see," he concluded, "when my health is uncertain, and I
+can't do what I once could, why, here I have a cosy little berth to
+myself, with no cares or anxieties.  It was always my castle in the
+air, this, a little house in a country village, with a bit of garden,
+and a place to keep fowls in.  The thought of this helped me through
+years of care and labour.  Always remember to have your castle in the
+air.  That's my advice to you."
+
+"What is the use, sir, if it never comes to anything?  Except at
+cards, the luck is against me always.  And is there not a proverb,
+'Blessed is he that expecteth nothing'?"
+
+"Well, well," said Mr. Hayes, "perhaps you're the wiser and more
+rational.  I don't know exactly about _expecting_--you must expect
+very patiently, at any rate.  But a 'castle' is a great blessing; I
+should miss mine sadly."
+
+"You have a new one, then?" said Donovan, amused.
+
+"Oh, yes; since I came here, I have fixed upon a visit to Switzerland
+as my 'castle.'  I've been saving up for it this long time, and I've
+mapped out my route, and chosen what hotels to go to, and calculated
+just what it will cost; and then, you know, when I meet with
+travellers, I get hints from them, and put them down in my note-book.
+Now this is what I intend to do, starting, you know, from Newhaven to
+Dieppe," &c., &c.
+
+The whole tour was detailed with enthusiastic delight, and Donovan
+listened, unable to help admiring the child-like, contented old man.
+
+"And when do you think your 'castle' will come off, sir?" he asked,
+when the whole plan had been related.
+
+"Oh! that I can't tell at all," said Mr. Hayes, rubbing his hands.
+"I have not saved enough yet; but won't it be a _grand_ tour!  Come,
+own that it's a 'castle' worth having."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+"TIED TO HIS MOTHER'S APRON-STRINGS."
+
+Now a boy is, of all wild beasts, the most difficult to
+manage.--PLATO.
+
+
+"You see, dear Mrs. Tremain, one must be so careful with boys; there
+are so many temptations into which they are likely to fall, and,
+humanly speaking, there is no such careful and saving influence as a
+mother's."
+
+The speaker, Mrs. Causton, was a middle-aged lady, with no-coloured
+hair brought low on each side of her brow, and a rather care-worn
+face, which expressed kindly intentions, but yet at the same time
+seemed a little formal.  An old friend of Dr. Tremain's, and the wife
+of a naval officer, she had lately settled down at Porthkerran in
+order to be with her son Stephen, a boy of nineteen, who was to spend
+a year in Dr. Tremain's surgery before going up to London to "walk
+the hospitals."  Mrs. Causton was such a near neighbour that she was
+an almost daily visitor at the doctor's house, and her easy informal
+comings and goings never interfered with anything that was going on.
+The two ladies were sitting by the open window of the breakfast-room
+one warm summer morning, when Mrs. Causton made the remark about a
+"mother's influence;" Mrs. Tremain, with the daintiest and most
+exquisitely neat workbox before her, was busy with some folds of blue
+cambric, out of which her skilful, and therefore graceful-looking
+hands, were devising one of little Nesta's frocks; and Gladys, at the
+far end of the room, was giving Jackie a reading-lesson.
+
+"And yet," began Mrs. Tremain, in answer, "I can't help thinking that
+a certain amount of independence is almost necessary; a boy must
+learn sooner or later to stand alone."
+
+"Yes, yes, sooner or later, of course.  Stephen must be alone in
+London next year.  I wish it could be otherwise; but you know I never
+could be in London, unfortunately; the air is like poison to me.  He
+must be alone then, but I can't help dreading it very much; he has
+scarcely ever been away from me, not for more than a few days at a
+time in his whole life.  I could never make up my mind to send him to
+school; there are so many temptations in school life; I always
+dreaded it for Stephen."
+
+"One wants a great deal of faith with children," said Mrs. Tremain;
+and as she spoke, though the words were by no means lightly meant,
+there was a little smile of amusement about her lips, for she knew
+she was poaching on Mrs. Causton's manor.
+
+"Ah! dear Mrs. Tremain, no one knows that better than I do; it is
+faith from the beginning to the end, how else could one bear the
+anxieties, the----  Well, Jackie dear," as the sturdy little
+four-year-old boy, released from his lessons, sprang towards her with
+the affectionate rough demonstration of arms and legs common to most
+children of his age.  "It was only last Sunday that I was trying to
+tell dear little Jackie something of the nature of faith; one cannot
+too early impress it on a child.  Do you remember, darling, what I
+said in Sunday-school?"
+
+"This is Fliday," said the matter-of-fact Jackie.
+
+"Yes, but can't you remember such a few days ago as that?  What did I
+say faith was?"
+
+"Oh!  I lemember," said Jackie, looking up brightly.  "An apple-pie
+in a boat."
+
+Mrs. Tremain and Gladys could not help laughing, Mrs. Causton looked
+perplexed for a minute, but Jackie ran off contentedly to his play,
+and never waited for the explanation.
+
+"Poor little man, I see how it was.  I just gave them an
+illustration, you know, told them that if they went down to the beach
+with me one day, and I was to say, 'Look at that boat in the
+distance, it has an apple-pie in it,' and they were to believe there
+was an apple-pie in it, that would be faith.  It is always well to
+choose attractive illustrations for children, but dear little Jackie
+of course was rather confused just now."
+
+"Aunt Margaret," said Gladys, for, though Mrs. Causton was no real
+relation, the children had known her all their lives, and had
+christened her "auntie," in American fashion.  "Aunt Margaret, what
+would you have done if Stephen had had to go to sea like Dick?"
+
+"My dear, I could never have allowed it," said Mrs. Causton, quickly.
+"Of course, naturally enough, at one time Stephen did wish to go with
+his father, but it could never have been allowed.  From the very
+first I determined that he should be a clergyman or a doctor, the
+only thoroughly good and Christian professions, to my mind."
+
+"Oh! but, auntie, think of the number of good men there are in other
+professions," said Gladys, with girlish vehemence, provoked by the
+narrowness of the remark.
+
+"I like a consistent calling," said Mrs. Causton, "and you know,
+Gladys, humanly speaking, it is often difficult to lead a consistent
+life in a more secular profession."
+
+Gladys was silenced but not satisfied.  When Mrs. Causton had gone
+she returned to the subject.
+
+"Mother, Aunt Margaret seems to think that very few people are
+Christians.  She talks as if all the world, except just a few people
+like herself, were wicked."
+
+"Your aunt has very strong opinions.  I do not agree with her
+always," said Mrs. Tremain.  "Nor need you, Gladys."
+
+"But, mother, it's so tiresome to have to hear people say things like
+that, it's so--so narrow!  What would she do if there were only two
+professions in the world, if every man was a clergyman or a doctor?
+And if the other things must be done and seen to, why, it must be
+right for some one to do them."
+
+"Do you know," said Mrs. Tremain, smiling, "that you are a very hot
+little arguer, Gladys?  I fancy, like most women, that you have just
+a little personal feeling mixed with your views.  Were you not
+thinking of Dick when the other professions were being decried?"
+
+"You always know everything," said Gladys, resting her arm on Mrs.
+Tremain's knee, and shading her brow with her hand.  "Yes, I was
+thinking of Dick.  I believe he's the best middy in all the navy.
+You know, mother, what Captain Smith said about his influence on
+board.  I'm sure his life is as consistent as Stephen's will ever be."
+
+"We are getting rather little and personal," said Mrs. Tremain.
+"Don't let us take to crying up our own belongings, and comparing
+them with other people's.  Of course you are proud of Dick, dear, and
+so am I, but he is not a paragon of virtue."
+
+"Oh I no, I can't bear paragons," said Gladys, laughing, "they are
+always prigs.  Dick is a regular boy still, that's why he's so nice.
+I wonder whether Aunt Margaret thinks it very risky for him to be
+left to himself so much.  I believe Stephen wants to be let alone a
+little, he always looks so bored when auntie begins to talk at him.
+You know, mother, she really does talk rather much, she always tries
+to drag in religion, and sometimes it does come in so oddly.  And
+then she is always saying 'humanly speaking.'  I can't bear those
+little phrases.  I think auntie must be descended from some of the
+old Puritans.  I'm sure she'd have liked those funny, made-up names.
+She chose Stephen's name because it was in the Bible, and she thinks
+Gladys sounds so like a heathen.  She wonders you and papa chose it
+for me."
+
+Mrs. Tremain laughed.
+
+"Well, Gladys dear, live up to the best meaning of your name, and I
+shall be quite satisfied.  Now let us have our reading together.  The
+weather looks promising for our picnic this afternoon, does it not?"
+
+Later in the day the whole family, including Stephen and Mrs.
+Causton, were to meet for an out-of-doors tea-drinking.  It was a
+half-holiday, and the two younger boys, intervening between Dick and
+little Jackie, were to come over from their school at Plymouth.  The
+doctor had promised to get his rounds done quickly, and Stephen was
+released from his duties for an hour or two.  To children, and to
+child-like minds, it is seldom that a great expedition or an
+expensive picnic gives the pleasure which a more simple and homely
+one does.  It is not the great, formal, country excursion, with its
+grand toilettes and champagne lunch which dwells in the memory, and
+is looked back upon with pleasure, it is rather the simple "day in
+the country," when there were no liveried servants to carry the
+provisions, when our own arms ached with the burden, when, with a
+sense of delicious novelty, we ourselves spread the cloth on the
+turf, or boiled the kettle over a gipsy-like fire of sticks, or
+roamed in delightful freedom in what seemed a paradise of rest and
+greenness, away from the "haunts of men."
+
+About two miles west of Porthkerran the cliffs were broken into a
+sort of cleft or narrow valley, and here a beautiful wood had sprung
+up, which in spring was carpeted with primroses and anemones, and
+where in summer forget-me-nots were to be found by the side of the
+little streams which trickled through the wood to the sea.  It was in
+this place that the Tremains were to spend their afternoon.
+
+"It was very good of you to spare Stephen," said Mrs. Causton to the
+doctor, as he helped her out of the little pony-carriage, in which
+the elder ladies and the two younger children had come.  "I sometimes
+fancy that he does not get out enough.  I hope he deserves his
+holiday?"
+
+"Yes, a little country air will freshen him up," said the doctor,
+without replying directly to the question.
+
+The mother's instinct was quick to note this.
+
+"I hope you are really satisfied with Stephen?" she said, anxiously.
+"I hope he isn't idle?"
+
+"Oh!" said the doctor, re-assuringly, "I don't think he's more idle
+than many boys of his age.  I daresay he told you that I was down
+upon him rather sharply yesterday.  He forgot an important message,
+and I was obliged to lecture him a little."
+
+"He never told me," said Mrs. Causton, with some vexation in her
+tone.  "I would always so much rather know things of that kind.  I
+cannot get him to be open with me."
+
+"You can hardly expect that he will tell you of every trifling scrape
+he gets into," said Dr. Tremain.  "That was all very well while he
+was in petticoats, and the more spontaneous telling there is still
+the better, but perhaps one can hardly expect it in such a matter as
+that."
+
+"I like _perfect_ confidence between a mother and son," said Mrs.
+Causton.  "Who should help him and advise him, if I do not?"
+
+"Quite so.  It is everything to have strong sympathy and
+understanding, but confidence cannot be forced, or it is utterly
+worthless, and a boy of nineteen is generally rather a tough customer
+to deal with."
+
+"You think so?" questioned Mrs. Causton.
+
+"Yes, I think undoubtedly that from eighteen to one and twenty is one
+of the most difficult periods of life.  Boys, and in many instances
+girls, too, begin then to have a good deal of liberty.  The old
+discipline is cast off, they have to rule their own actions to a
+great extent, they have to face the problems of life, and forming
+their own opinion strongly on every point, whether it is beyond their
+comprehension or not, they battle along not unfrequently a misery to
+themselves and to their friends, till, after dearly-bought
+experience, they at last settle down, more or less contentedly, with
+some of their conceit knocked out of them."
+
+"Stephen is not conceited," broke in Mrs. Causton.  "I don't think
+anyone could call him conceited; and as to his opinions, why he holds
+everything that I do.  He has never been any trouble to me in that
+way, and in these days, when young men so often hold such dreadfully
+unorthodox views, that is saying a great deal."
+
+"I don't think Stephen is in any danger of being unorthodox," said
+the doctor, rather drily.  Then after a little pause he added, "I
+meant that I don't think he ever thinks enough to have any
+difficulties.  But in one way, Mrs. Causton, I do think he might be
+in danger, he is far too easily led."
+
+"He is naturally gentle and pliable," said Mrs. Causton.  She would
+not say, "weak."
+
+"And there is, I think, his danger," said the doctor.  "Old John
+Bunyan showed a wonderful knowledge of life when he made Pliable the
+one to go half-way into the Slough of Despond, and never win through
+it.  I don't want to make you anxious about Stephen, but of course,
+since the lad's been with me, he's been in my mind a good deal, and I
+can't help thinking that he wants more of a backbone; he has not
+enough steadiness; he is too loose in his management of himself.  I
+do not think he knows how to steer his own course."
+
+"But I am still with him; he cannot go wrong now very well," said
+Mrs. Causton.
+
+"But you cannot always be with him," replied the doctor.  "Depend
+upon it, the best thing you can do is to teach him _self_-management.
+There is an old saying, which of course you know, about the child who
+is 'tied to his mother's apron-strings;' perhaps it seems cruel of me
+to quote such a rough simile to you, but, you see, there is danger in
+it--it makes a boy weak and helpless, instead of bracing him for his
+part in life, as I know you and all good mothers would wish to do."
+
+"Well, what shall I tell him?--what is his chief fault in his work?"
+said Mrs. Causton, with the rather fretted manner of one taking
+uncongenial advice.
+
+"Don't bother him--let him alone a little," said the doctor,
+cheerfully.  "Some day I mean to give him a good blowing up; he must
+learn to keep the surgery more tidy."
+
+Mrs. Causton was a little annoyed at this sudden descent to what
+seemed to her such a trifling and mundane matter, but Dr. Tremain's
+next sentence cleared her brow once more.
+
+"You must not mind my talking so plainly to you about the boy; you
+see, I've been his father's friend ever since we were lads together,
+and so I can't help taking a special interest in Stephen.  But don't
+let us spoil our afternoon's pleasuring with educational bothers.
+Where will you and the mother sit?  Here is a nice tree ready
+felled--what do you say to that?  I shall leave you to gossip while I
+go mothing."
+
+So the doctor, taking his butterfly-net, walked off into the wood,
+tapping the tree-trunks every now and then in search of spoil, and
+closely followed by Jackie, who promised to be as keen a naturalist
+as his father.
+
+Mrs. Tremain took out her knitting, and, while talking with her
+companion, kept an eye on little Nesta, who was now more than a year
+old, and just beginning to run alone.  From their place the two
+ladies could catch glimpses of the deep blue of the Porthkerran Bay
+through the overhanging trees, while occasionally merry voices in the
+distance told of the presence of the children.  The quiet country
+"stillness" was very refreshing, but Mrs. Causton could not quite
+free herself from the uncomfortable impression which the doctor's
+words had left on her mind; had she been able to see into her son's
+heart at that moment, her anxiety would have been still greater.
+
+"How jolly this is!" said Stephen, as, leaving the dusty highway,
+they entered the cool green shade of the wood.  "I used to think it
+must be so dull down here at Porthkerran; it seemed like the ends of
+the earth when we were living in Sussex."
+
+"Cornwall is the best place in the world," said Gladys, with pride.
+"I can't think how people can live in places where they have to wear
+gloves always, and walk about in their best clothes."
+
+"I thought girls always liked dress," said Stephen.
+
+"Oh! yes, of course, in a way; it is nice to have pretty things, but
+not to be always bothered with them," said Gladys, stooping down to
+gather some forget-me-nots.
+
+The younger boys had wandered on in front.  Stephen was not sorry to
+be left behind, for he was rapidly gliding into love with Gladys.  He
+gave to her now the confidence which his mother had so much wished
+for.
+
+"Sometimes I think, Gladys, that I shall be obliged to go away from
+here," he began--"before my year is over, I mean."
+
+"Oh, will you?" said Gladys.
+
+"Would you--would you be sorry if I went?" questioned Stephen,
+anxiously.
+
+"Of course," said Gladys, with almost more frankness than he
+desired--"dreadfully sorry.  We should all miss you; and besides,
+Aunt Margaret has taken the house now."
+
+It was too general and prosaic a view to please Stephen; however, he
+continued--
+
+"I fancy your father is not pleased with me; he was awfully vexed
+yesterday."
+
+"Was he?  Why was that?" asked Gladys, looking up with innocent
+sympathy.
+
+"Why, they sent up word from the inn that Mary Pengelly was much
+worse, and I forgot to tell him."
+
+"Oh, Stephen! and did it matter much?"
+
+"I don't know.  I don't think it could have made much difference.
+She died this morning."
+
+There was a little silence after this, then Gladys said,
+
+"I've often noticed that papa is more vexed by carelessness than by
+great big faults, and you see, Stephen, this might have been so
+dreadful, if he could have saved her by going earlier."
+
+"Oh!  I don't think he could.  She's been supposed to be dying for a
+week.  Don't look so awfully grave, Gladys, I shall be very careful,
+of course, after this.  I mean to turn over a new leaf.  You don't
+know how I should hate to leave this place.  You don't know how I
+care for--for you all."
+
+The colour had risen to the roots of his hair, and Gladys for the
+first time caught his meaning.  Half pleased, half frightened, her
+strongest impulse was to run away, to put a stop somehow to the
+_tête-à-tête_; for the first time she felt that there was a
+difference between walking alone with Dick and walking alone with
+Stephen, and, with a sudden shyness which she had never known before,
+she looked about for some way of escape.
+
+A brilliant butterfly fluttered past her, and, with relief in her
+voice, she said, quickly,
+
+"Oh!  I do believe there is that rare 'blue' which Jackie wanted.  I
+must catch him."
+
+And, while Stephen wished all the rare "blues" at the other side of
+the world, Gladys sprang across the little brook, running in swift
+pursuit of her victim.  Stephen sauntered on rather discontentedly,
+but taking care not to lose sight of the brown holland and blue
+ribbons, which flashed rapidly hither and thither in the chase,
+threading the woody labyrinth.  When at last he came up with her, the
+butterfly was secured, and the rest of the party were in sight.
+
+Then came the merry preparations for tea; the boys gathered sticks
+and nursed the flickering blaze, Gladys began to spread bread and
+honey, like the queen in the nursery rhyme, and Dr. Tremain,
+returning with his prey in a dozen little boxes, devoted himself to
+making jokes for Mrs. Causton's benefit, and good-naturedly entered
+into all the children's arrangements, though, like most middle-aged
+men, he hated the discomforts of an out-door meal.  The most
+noteworthy incident in the day to Stephen was that afterwards, as
+they were still resting in the shade, from time to time singing
+rounds and catches, Gladys began to make her forget-me-nots into tiny
+nosegays.  There was one for everybody, but the greater number of
+them were destined to "bloom their hour and fade," only one was
+carefully preserved among Stephen's untidy haunts.  There was this
+much of good in him, that he was capable of recognizing Gladys'
+beauty and goodness, but unfortunately she did not greatly influence
+him.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+DOT VERSUS THE WORLD.
+
+        She was sent forth
+  To bring that light which never wintry blast
+  Blows out, nor rain nor snow extinguishes--
+  The light that shines from loving eyes upon
+  Eyes that love back, till they can see no more.
+                                            LANDON.
+
+  A little child shall lead them.
+                  _Book of the Prophet Isaiah._
+
+
+It is an old saying, and perhaps a truism, that self-sacrifice always
+brings its reward; not exactly the substantial reward promised in a
+certain moral song which is put into the lips of children, in which a
+charitable loaf-giver is represented as receiving "As much and ten
+times more," but a reward in some form perhaps hardly understood now,
+but no less real because we cannot grasp or fathom it.  In one sense
+great gain is consistent with loss, perhaps follows upon it almost as
+constantly as joy follows upon pain.
+
+It was not a tangible reward which Donovan's self-sacrifice met with.
+Our highest and best gifts are never tangible, but it was a reward
+which was one of the best and most lasting influences of his life.
+When he resolved to devote himself entirely to Dot, instinctively his
+thoughts grew less morbid and selfish.  His life, which seemed so
+purposeless and useless, twined itself round her life, and found the
+object it needed.  His creed indeed remained unaltered; the angry
+sense of injustice still lurked in his heart, but everything was now
+subservient to the one ruling interest, and, through all the bad
+influences which were besetting him continually during the two years
+which elapsed after his father's death, the unconscious loving
+influence of the little child kept its hold upon him.
+
+His was a nature formed either for great good or for great evil.
+Whatever he did he did thoroughly; whether it was the reading of a
+fairy-tale to Dot, or the mastery of some difficult passage of music,
+or his nightly card-playing at the Greyshot club, he bent his whole
+will to the work, intent upon making whatever he was engaged upon a
+masterpiece of its kind.  In spite, then, of all the evil at work
+within him and without, Donovan had really improved.  At twenty, he
+was far more manly, more tender and considerate, and, though his
+self-reliance was still unshaken, he was no longer the self-absorbed,
+gloomy, taciturn fellow he had been.  To make himself companionable
+to Dot, he had been forced to rouse himself; abstract speculations,
+long, dismal reveries were incompatible with the line of life which
+he had marked out for himself.  What might have done very well among
+the Alps must be entirely avoided in the little invalid's room, and
+he exerted himself with such firmness of purpose that in spite of his
+natural tendency to melancholy, and the bitter spirit which his early
+education had produced, he became bright and cheerful, sometimes even
+merry.  This was, of course, when he was with her; at other times he
+was often sadly moody, and the coldness with his mother increased
+rather than diminished; indeed, he saw very little of her, for, when
+Dot did not need him, he could always find amusement at Greyshot,
+though his passion for cards did not lead him among the very best
+companions.
+
+And all the time Mrs. Farrant allowed herself to drift down the
+stream of life placidly.  The world seemed to her a little dull, but
+no doubt other people found it so.  She had many comforts; she would
+not complain.  In what she considered peaceful and virtuous content,
+she stroked Fido, received visitors, drove out in her victoria, and
+read light literature.  Twice a day she visited Dot's room; a sort of
+duty call, which both mother and child took as a matter of course,
+but did not in the least care for; and occasionally Donovan occupied
+her thoughts for a few minutes.  She would feel a sort of pride and
+pleasure as she noticed what a fine-looking fellow he was, or would
+be vexed and annoyed that the neighbours shunned him, but it never
+occurred to her that she was at all responsible for him, that it was
+through her neglect and unmotherliness that he was driven away from
+home to spend his evenings at a disreputable club.
+
+In the second spring after Colonel Farrant's death, it was arranged
+that the Oakdene family should go up to town for the season.  Mrs.
+Farrant had left off her weeds.  Ellis and Adela urged them to come
+up for at least a few weeks, and as the house in Connaught Square,
+which had been let for the last two years, was now at liberty, there
+seemed no reason against it.  Donovan was glad enough to go.  He had
+begun to crave for a change of scene, and, though he was too
+unsociable and silent to care for the sort of gaieties which his
+mother enjoyed, London offered many other attractions to him.
+
+Dot's room was in the front of the house, that she might have the
+benefit of the square garden, and, when she had recovered from the
+fatigue of the journey, she was able thoroughly to enjoy the change.
+Donovan had not noticed how very thin and weak she had grown lately.
+He was never away from her, and so did not see the change, as a
+fresh-comer would have done.  It was a chance word of Adela Farrant's
+which first drew his attention to the fact.
+
+"Why, my poor little Dot," she exclaimed, coming into the room a few
+days after their arrival, "how thin and white you have grown; you're
+just like a little shadow.  What have you been doing to her, Donovan?"
+
+The light tones and the smiling face of the speaker were a strange
+contrast to the startled abrupt interrogative which escaped Donovan,
+and the look of pain which came over his face.
+
+"You think her changed?"
+
+"Yes, very much; I believe, dear, they've kept you mewed up in the
+country a great deal too long.  You wanted a little change and
+amusement.  You wanted me to look after you, now didn't you?"
+
+Conscious that she had made rather an unfortunate remark, Adela
+talked on good-naturedly to the little girl, and once or twice tried
+to draw Donovan into the conversation; he did not seem to hear her,
+but stood leaning against the wall at the foot of Dot's couch,
+looking at her with a sad, anxious, pained scrutiny.  Adela's words
+had sent a cold chill to his heart.  Was it true?  Was Dot really
+changed?  Was she more fragile and delicate-looking than usual?  He
+tried to look at her as if he were a stranger, tried to find the
+bare, undisguised truth.
+
+Dot was now twelve years old, though her little helpless form was so
+tiny that she looked more like a child of eight; he seemed never to
+have really looked at her before, and, though he knew every line of
+her face by heart, its beauty had never before struck him.  She had
+always been to him just Dot herself, it had never entered his head to
+think whether she was pretty or not.  She wore a loose white dress,
+and over her feet was spread a many-coloured Indian shawl, the same
+shawl which he remembered seeing in the ayah's arms on that day of
+wretchedness and disappointment in his childhood.  The window was
+open and the summer wind played with her soft brown hair as it lay on
+the pillow; he noticed a strange waxen look about the little childish
+face, and the beauty of the rounded serene forehead, with its too
+apparent network of blue veins, the soft grey-brown eyes, the tender
+little smiling mouth, struck him as it had never struck him before.
+It could never be, oh! surely it could never be, that she would be
+taken from him!  Fate had been so cruel to him, it would surely leave
+him the one thing he cared for still!  The mere thought caused him
+such agony that he could hardly contain himself; it was only from his
+habitual self-control, and from his love to Dot, that he could force
+a smile to his lips as she looked up at him appealingly.
+
+"Dono, do you hear what we are saying?  We are saying you must go out
+more while you are here.  Cousin Adela says you are very unsociable."
+
+"Yes, you are a regular bear," said Adela.  "I'm quite ashamed of
+you, sir, you've no excuse whatever.  With your advantages you might
+turn the heads of half the girls in town."
+
+"A desirable employment," said Donovan, veiling far deeper feelings
+with a sarcastic smile.
+
+"There, I told you he was a bear!  See how he speaks to me!" said
+Adela, with mock anger.
+
+"I beg your pardon," he said, laughing.  "But if that is the 'whole
+duty of man,' it's beyond me; I can't turn neat compliments to pretty
+women, it's not in me.  Some fellows are born to it, it comes as
+naturally to them as card-playing comes to me.  One can't go against
+mature."
+
+"You ought to do your duty," said Adela, with playful severity.
+
+"And if I were to ask, like Froude's cat, 'What _is_ my duty?' you
+would answer, I suppose, like the sagacious animals in the parable,
+'Get your own dinner,' and add, perhaps, 'at some grand house
+belonging to one of the "upper ten."'  That is my duty, I suppose."
+
+"He is talking riddles to me, Dot," said Adela.  smiling.  "What cat
+does he mean?"
+
+"Oh! the cat in 'Short Studies on Great Subjects,'" said Dot,
+readily.  "Such a jolly story it is!  The cat wanted to know what was
+the good of life, and everyone gave her such funny answers.  The owl
+said 'Meditate, oh! cat,' and so she tried to think which could have
+come first, the fowl or the egg.  Dono laughed over that story more
+than I ever saw him laugh before."
+
+"But, to return to the charge," said Adela, "why were you not at Lady
+Temple's last night?"
+
+"Because I've forsworn such vanities," said Donovan, contentedly.
+"The night before I dutifully attended my mother to three fashionable
+crowds--'perpendiculars' is the best name for them, for there is
+generally barely room for standing--and, as we elbowed our way
+through the third set of rooms, I made up my mind that society wasn't
+in my line."
+
+"People never know when they're well off," said Adela.  "Many men
+would be thankful enough to be in your shoes, and to be introduced to
+such a good circle, and, instead of making the most of your
+advantages, you think of nothing but those wicked cards."
+
+"Of course it is very wicked indeed to think of such things as whist,
+or loo, or euchre; instead of that my cousin would wish me to spend
+my evenings in the virtuous employment of talking nonsense in
+aristocratic drawing-rooms, or flirting in ball-rooms," said Donovan,
+with a satirical smile.
+
+"Your cousin would wish you to be a great deal more polite," said
+Adela, laughing, "and she does not like to be snapped up in that way,
+for all the world as if you were a machine for cutting people's words
+up--a chaff-cutter!"
+
+"At any rate, I was not chaffing," said Donovan, relapsing into good
+humour.
+
+"Did you ever know anything like him?" said Adela, with another
+laugh.  "He can make as many bad puns as ordinary men when he tries,
+but let him be in society, and he's a bear--a gloomy Spanish
+don--more morose and formal and stupid than anyone I have met in my
+whole life."
+
+"You mustn't scold him," said Dot, not quite understanding the
+banter, and hurt that anyone should think Donovan otherwise than
+perfect; "you don't know a bit how good he is if you say that.  When
+I was so ill six months ago, he was with me almost always, and often
+he used to sit up all night with me."
+
+"I didn't know you had been ill--worse, at least," said Adela.
+
+"Yes; it was in the autumn, when Cousin Ellis had come down for the
+shooting, and Dono missed ever so many days because he wouldn't leave
+me.  Dono is the best nurse in the world; his hands are so clever,
+they never hurt like Doery's, and, do you know, once our old doctor
+wondered how it was he was so quick and clever and steady-handed, and
+Dono told him it was because he played billiards so much."
+
+"Some advantages, you see, Cousin Adela, in being a born gamester,"
+said Donovan, with rather a sad smile, as he looked down at Dot's
+little weak fingers wreathing themselves in and out of his.
+
+"Well, I'm glad you can turn into a sick-nurse," said Adela.  "You
+have brought out a new side of his character, Dot, and deserve a vote
+of thanks."
+
+"Oh! and Waif brought it out too," said Dot, eagerly.  "Waif had the
+distemper dreadfully last year--he nearly died.  The vetchi--what do
+you call the animal-doctor?--said that he would have died if Dono
+hadn't taken such care of him; he sat up with him two nights, and
+that saved his life.  Isn't Waif a dear dog, cousin?"
+
+"Well, I don't think he's a beauty," said Adela, looking down at the
+fox-terrier, who was licking his master's hand.
+
+"He can do lots of tricks, though," said Dot; "he's wonderfully
+clever, and he loves Dono so!"
+
+"Have you seen Ellis's new dog?" asked Adela, who rather wanted to
+bring the conversation round to her brother.  "He has a new
+retriever.  I suppose you have seen Ellis himself, have you not?"
+
+"Well, yes, seeing that he's been in here every day," said Donovan,
+not in his pleasantest tone.
+
+"Oh! but you're such an unsociable fellow," said Adela.  "One might
+be in the house for hours and not see you.  Ellis said something
+about meeting me here at five o'clock.  I think I had better go
+downstairs and see if he has come."
+
+"Oh! stay with Dot a little longer," said Donovan.  "I daresay he has
+not come yet; I'll go and see."
+
+Adela consented to stay on, and Donovan, with Waif at his heels, went
+downstairs.  Opening the drawing-room door unconcernedly, and hastily
+glancing round to see if his cousin were there, he was suddenly
+confronted by a sight so unexpected, so disagreeably startling, that
+for a moment he stood rooted to the spot, unable to speak or move.
+His mother, half smiling, half tearful, had both her hands clasped in
+Ellis Farrant's; he was kneeling beside her in such a theatrical
+attitude that, if Donovan had not been altogether dismayed and
+astounded, he must have been amused.
+
+Mrs. Farrant, looking up, saw her son, and, with a sudden blush,
+began nervously, "Oh, Donovan!" then, turning to Ellis, faltered,
+"You must tell him."
+
+It was not a pleasant task, but Ellis, in the triumph of his victory,
+could afford to meet a trifling annoyance of this sort.  With much
+real trepidation carefully hidden beneath his most jaunty manner, he
+crossed the room to the mute statue-like form, which would not move a
+hair's-breadth to meet him.
+
+"Well, my boy, I see there is little need to tell you; I'm the
+happiest man in London, Donovan.  Your mother has consented to be my
+wife.  You must not be angry with me; come, now, I am not going to
+steal her away from you--of course we shall all live on at Oakdene
+together.  It is not every boy of your age whom I should look forward
+to having as a son; but you, Donovan, it is very different with you;
+we have always been friends, have we not?  I remember him," he
+continued, turning to Mrs. Farrant, "when he was quite a little
+fellow, and as sharp as a needle, though he couldn't have been more
+than seven."
+
+All this time Donovan's face had only grown more hard and flint-like.
+Ellis, with his usual tact, saw that his best policy would be to
+retreat at once, ignoring his ward's anger, and taking his
+congratulations for granted.  He pressed Mrs. Farrant's hand in his.
+
+"I must leave you now, dearest.  You must talk this over with your
+son."  Then turning to Donovan, "Stay, and hear all from your mother.
+No, leave me to let myself out.  Adela said I should meet her in
+Dot's room.  I'll just run up."
+
+Already he seemed to behave as if the house were his own.  He held
+out his hand cordially, but Donovan would not see it, still in
+perfect silence he turned hastily to open the door for his cousin,
+moving for the first time during the interview.  Ellis went out
+smilingly, pretending not to notice the absence of all response, but
+as the door closed, and he went slowly upstairs alone, his brow
+clouded even in this his moment of victory, and between his teeth he
+hissed out the words, "Young viper!  I'll teach him to find his
+tongue!  We'll have a rather different interview, my friend, when you
+come of age!"
+
+Donovan had been half paralyzed while Ellis remained in the room, but
+no sooner had he left it than, with sudden reaction, the frozen blood
+seemed to boil in his veins.  The stony look on his face changed to
+passionate earnestness, and crossing the room in hurried strides, he
+stood close to Mrs. Farrant.
+
+"_Mother!_" he gasped.  Only that one word, but there was such
+intensity, such pleading, such misery in the tone, that the most
+eloquent entreaties could not have been so stirring.
+
+"Don't agitate me, Donovan.  I have been so excited already," cried
+Mrs. Farrant, shrinking from him, really alarmed by his looks.
+"Don't, pray don't look so wild.  I am very sorry if you have been
+taken by surprise.  I thought, of course, you saw last autumn how it
+was."
+
+"Last autumn!" said Donovan.  "Last autumn I could think of nothing
+but Dot.  I was blind--hoodwinked by his devices.  Oh! mother, do
+not, do not let it be.  I see now how it has all been--one long piece
+of manœuvering from the very first.  He has been trading on us.
+He brought his sister down to dazzle me, to draw off my attention.
+Mother, do not trust him, he is false, and treacherous, and mean.  He
+will make you miserable!"
+
+"It is not your place to speak like this," said Mrs. Farrant, with
+some resentment in her tone.  "You forget that Mr. Farrant is my
+future husband; you forget that you are speaking to your mother."
+
+"I do not forget," cried Donovan, vehemently.  "It is because I
+cannot forget you are my mother that I must speak.  I am your son,
+and you must and shall hear me.  I know Ellis Farrant better than you
+do.  You only see the sleek, bland, polite side of him; but I have
+seen him with other men.  He is false, and grasping, and selfish.  If
+it had not been for him I might not have been what I am now.  Mother,
+do not throw yourself away on such a man as that.  It will bring
+nothing but wretchedness on us all.  For Dot's sake, for your own
+sake, do not let this be!"
+
+"I wish you wouldn't talk so wildly," said Mrs. Farrant, half crying.
+"I don't know what you mean by saying such dreadful things about
+your--your guardian.  It is very hard that directly some one else
+begins to love me you should suddenly wake up from your usual
+indifference.  You never loved me yourself, and you will not let
+anyone else love me."
+
+"It is not true," said Donovan, greatly agitated.  "I could have
+loved you dearly, mother, if you would only have let me.  I do love
+you--far, far more than that other man, who only wants your money.
+Send him away; do not listen to him.  Let us be what nature meant us
+to be to each other!"
+
+"You are mad!  You frighten me.  You make my head ache," said Mrs.
+Farrant, petulantly.  "You have never shown me any particular
+attention.  I scarcely see you, except at mealtimes.  It is
+unreasonable of you to be vexed because I accept an offer of
+marriage."
+
+"Have _I_ driven you to it?" cried poor Donovan.  "Would I not
+willingly have been more to you!  Did I not tell you so long ago?
+And you turned from me.  You told me to be more like that knave!"
+
+"If I told you so before, I certainly repeat it now," said Mrs.
+Farrant.  "Your guardian is a gentleman.  He would never speak in
+such a way to a defenceless woman.  When my only son can attack me so
+fiercely, I think it is time I accepted a husband to protect me."
+
+"Fiercely!  Protect you!" echoed Donovan, in a voice which, though
+less vehement, was full of pain.  Could she have thought his passion
+of re-awakening love, his eager longing to save her from certain
+misery was fierceness?  Bitterly wounded, he turned away with one
+despairing sentence.  "We shall never understand each other."
+
+"Perhaps not," she replied, "but, at any rate, we must not again
+discuss this subject.  It would not be right for me to listen to you,
+or for you to say such things again.  Do you understand?"
+
+"Yes," he murmured, "I have said my say."  Then, looking down at her
+again, he added, in a strangely repressed voice, "When will it be?"
+
+"I do not know," she faltered.  "Perhaps--perhaps at the end of the
+season."
+
+There was a moment's pause, then in silence Donovan crossed the room,
+and would have gone out, but, by some sudden unknown impulse, Mrs.
+Farrant stopped him.
+
+"Dono!" it was the old childish name, and it checked him at once.
+"Dono, come back, come back and kiss me."
+
+For years and years the formal salute had passed between them every
+day, now for the first time it was spontaneous, or rather Mrs.
+Farrant felt for the first time a mother's natural craving for
+affection, and Donovan was allowed to give expression to the love
+which had never really been quenched, only shut down and restrained.
+
+The unwonted piece of demonstration helped in part to take the sting
+from the unwelcome news.  Donovan's face as he returned to Dot's room
+was sad indeed, but no longer bitter.
+
+"Oh!  Dono," she cried, eagerly, "have you heard?  Has Cousin Ellis
+told you?"
+
+"Yes, I have heard all," said Donovan, much more quietly than she had
+expected.
+
+"And you do not mind so very much?  I was so afraid you would be
+vexed, because last time Cousin Ellis was with us you kept on wishing
+he would go."
+
+"I shall wish it pretty often again," said Donovan, with a half
+smile, "but there is no good in crying out now, the deed is done, and
+we must make the best of it.  I have said all I can say, and it is no
+good."
+
+"You have been with mamma?"
+
+"Yes, we had a strange talk and a strange ending to it; we must not
+forget she is our mother, Dot."
+
+"Oh! but what shall I say when she comes?" said Dot, anxiously.  "I
+can't say I'm glad.  What am I to do?"
+
+"Show her that you love her," said Donovan.
+
+Dot looked doubtful and troubled, but, as Donovan sat down to the
+piano, and began to play one of her favourite airs by Mozart, she
+reasoned with herself till her resolution was made.
+
+"It is far worse for him than for me, he will have to give up all
+sorts of things when Cousin Ellis marries mamma, and I know that he
+does not like him at all.  Doery said last autumn that Cousin Ellis
+spoke shamefully to him sometimes, and Doery doesn't often make
+excuses for Dono.  I am very selfish to mind about it myself, when I
+don't even know why I mind.  I'll try to be nice when mamma comes up."
+
+While the mournful sweetness of "Vedrai Carino" was still filling the
+room, Mrs. Farrant entered.  Donovan went on playing, knowing that
+Dot would be less shy if her words were sheltered by the music; but
+there were no words at all, Dot only looked her love and put both
+arms round her mother's neck.
+
+Donovan had not known his father sufficiently well to feel his death
+very acutely.  The shock at the time had been great, and his grief
+then had been very real, but he had soon recovered from the blow, and
+now regarded it rather as a loss which was to be deplored than as a
+life-long sorrow.  But with the prospect of his mother's second
+marriage his thoughts naturally reverted to his father; he lived over
+again the sad meeting after his school disgrace, the day at Plymouth,
+the brief time at Porthkerran, and lastly the awful scene, when in an
+instant, without a farewell word or look, his father had been
+snatched from him.  Slowly and carefully he retraced the past,
+recalled all the conversations between them, remembered his father's
+courtesy, his sympathy, his gentle yet deeply-pained allusion to the
+"breach of honour."  What a contrast he was to Ellis Farrant!  The
+one refined, dignified, upright; the other ostentatious, false, and
+grasping!  Donovan could not judge people by the highest standard,
+but he had a standard of his own, and Ellis fell immeasurably below
+it.  His mother had once accused him of being self-satisfied, but his
+self-reliance was not self-satisfaction, he was in reality often
+bitterly out of heart with himself, only the sweeping condemnation of
+all his acquaintances forced him to assert himself.  They considered
+him a black sheep, and yet he felt he was not all that they
+represented him.  Still there had been truth and sadness in his words
+to his mother, when he said that Ellis had made him what he was; even
+with his scanty light he knew perfectly that his life was not what it
+ought to have been; goodness and honour were to be respected, and he
+struggled on in a blind endeavour to reach his own standard.  The
+remembrance of his father helped him to a certain extent, but it
+could not exercise a really strong influence over him, for it was
+merely the remembrance of what had once existed, and had now passed
+away utterly and for ever.
+
+When not occupied with Dot, or engrossed with his favourite pastime,
+life seemed to him very hollow and unsatisfactory.  When Mrs. Farrant
+desired it, he went out with her; when Adela particularly asked him,
+he would consent to escort the two ladies to whatever place of
+amusement they wished to go to, but it was all very uncongenial to
+him.  At concerts, not being really musical, he soon grew weary and
+bored; at the theatre he laughed bitterly at what seemed to him a
+mere travesty of real life, in which virtue was rewarded and vice
+punished in an ideal way, very unlike the injustice of real
+existence.  At balls, or at fashionable receptions, he saw merely the
+falseness of society, the low motives, the heartless frivolity, the
+absurd vanity of the individuals composing it.  He was certainly free
+from the annoyances he met with at Oakdene; no one looked askance at
+him here, no one had time to think of such trifles; but, after the
+first novelty had worn off, the change ceased to satisfy or relieve
+him.  He was really unhappy, too, about his mother's second marriage.
+Little by little, as he felt sure of his ground, Ellis Farrant had
+withdrawn the mask of friendliness, and had allowed Donovan to see
+what he really was; it had at present been done only in part, and
+with great judgment and tact, but it was just sufficient to rouse his
+dislike, and to make him inclined in arguments with his mother to
+speak against his guardian, while Mrs. Farrant was of course
+stimulated to defend him.
+
+Matters were thus with the son; with the accepted lover--the
+successful schemer--they were not much more happy.  A great writer of
+the present day has said that, if we do injustice to any
+fellow-creature, we come in time to hate him.  It was thus with Ellis
+Farrant; he had gone down to Porthkerran at the time of his cousin's
+death, feeling a sort of admiration and fondness for Donovan; the boy
+had always been pleasant and companionable; he liked him as well as
+he liked anyone outside himself.  But then followed the sudden act of
+glaring injustice, and as time passed he began to dislike his
+unconscious victim more and more.  The sight of him was a continual
+reproach; he was uneasy and restless in his presence, even at times
+afraid of him.  In the moment of his triumph and success, his hatred
+increased tenfold, and though, when he went up to Dot's room after
+his interview with Mrs. Farrant and Donovan, his manner was bland and
+smiling, Adela knew him too well not to detect the latent irritation.
+Anxious to know all the particulars which could not be mentioned
+before the little girl, she took leave rather hastily, tripped
+lightly down the stairs, and, as soon as the hall door had closed
+behind them, turned round eagerly to her brother.
+
+"I congratulate you, Ellis!"
+
+Ellis had overheard Donovan's eager tones of expostulation as he
+passed the drawing-room door, and the scowl on his face did not at
+all befit an accepted lover.
+
+"Where do you want to go to?" he said, crossly, not attending to her
+words.
+
+"Back to Eaton Place," said Adela, who was staying with some friends.
+"What is the matter with you?  I thought all had gone so well."
+
+"Well!--yes, so it has in the main, only that young cub came in and
+spoilt it all; he's really insufferable."
+
+"Now don't speak against my Augustus Cæsar," said Adela; "he's not a
+bad boy at all.  What did he do?"
+
+"Do!" said Ellis, smiling a little--"he did nothing; he stood and
+looked at me with a stony face, very much like an old Roman, as you
+are always saying."
+
+"I can just fancy it," said Adela, laughing, "and my noble brother
+didn't quite enjoy the lofty scorn.  What did he say to it all?--was
+he not surprised?  He went down so casually and unsuspectingly to see
+if you had come that I had hardly the heart not to give him warning.
+However, I kept my promise to you, didn't I?  It was well past five
+when I let him go down."
+
+"You managed very well, and I'm much obliged to you," said Ellis,
+recovering his good humour; "he came in the very nick of time, and
+saw it all at a glance."
+
+"Poor boy!--what did he say?"
+
+"Nothing; he looked thunderstruck, and never said a single word--was
+as mum as a dummy, in fact."
+
+"Or as dumb as a mummy," said Adela, with a light laugh.  "And you, I
+suppose, talked glibly, and promised to be a devoted step-father?"
+
+"Something of the sort," said Ellis, smiling.
+
+"Well, I don't wonder he doesn't like it," said Adela.  "Of course,
+he is practically master at Oakdene; he won't enjoy making way for
+you."
+
+"I don't suppose he will," replied Ellis, thinking of far more
+serious matters than his sister.  "But you know, my dear, we can't
+all win in the game."
+
+"The winner can afford to moralise," said Adela, rather
+contemptuously; "but I must not scold you, for you have managed your
+work very neatly, and of course I'm glad of your success.  When is it
+to be?"
+
+"The wedding?  I don't know.  Perhaps the end of July.  Anyhow, I'm
+afraid I shall miss the grouse this year."
+
+"You horrid, matter-of-fact creature, to think of it even," said
+Adela.  "Middle-aged lovers are no fun.  They have lost the romance
+of their youth."
+
+"We will leave that kind of thing for you and your Cæsar," said
+Ellis, laughingly, as they took leave of each other.
+
+"A thousand thanks," said Adela, with a mocking bow, "but I have done
+with my 'beardless youth,' now that your affairs are settled.  It was
+the dullest flirtation I ever had; for, quite between ourselves, that
+sort of thing is not in Cæsar's line."
+
+"I daresay not.  Mum as a dummy, you know!" and Ellis turned away
+with a laugh in which there was much spite and little merriment.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+LOOKING TWO WAYS.
+
+  Accuse me not, beseech thee, that I wear
+    Too calm and sad a face in front of thine;
+    For we two look two ways, and cannot shine
+  With the same sunlight on our brow and hair.
+  On me thou lookest with no doubting care,
+  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
+  ... But I look on thee--on thee--
+    Beholding, besides love, the end of love,
+  Hearing oblivion beyond memory;
+    As one who sits and gazes from above,
+  Over the rivers to the bitter sea."
+                                      E. B. BROWNING.
+
+
+"On the 29th inst., at St. George's, Hanover Square, Ellis Farrant,
+only son of the late J. E. Farrant, Esq., and nephew of the late
+Thomas Farrant, Esq., of Oakdene Manor, Mountshire, and Rippingham,
+Surrey, to Honora, widow of Colonel Ralph Farrant, R.A., and daughter
+of the late General Patrick Donovan.  No cards."
+
+Two old maiden ladies, who were spending their summer holiday at a
+watering-place in the south of England, and were partaking of a
+rather late breakfast in the coffee-room of the best hotel, wondered
+what there could be in the first sheet of the _Times_ to cause such a
+sudden change in the face of their neighbour at the next table.  The
+kind old souls had made a little romance about the handsome,
+grave-looking young fellow, who had come to the hotel a few days
+before, and used to sit down to his solitary table in the
+coffee-room, never seeming to care to talk with anyone.  Miss Brown,
+the elder, had made up her mind that he was an Italian.  He was dark
+and melancholy-looking; Italians were dark and melancholy-looking,
+therefore the young man was doubtless Italian.  Possibly he was an
+exile, and probably he was married, the Italians, she believed, did
+marry young, and no doubt his wife was a heartless, worldly person,
+and caused her husband endless trouble.  Miss Brown the younger was
+inclined to think the young man a Spaniard, there was something very
+Spanish in his grave, dignified deportment.  (N.B.--Miss Brown had
+never seen a Spaniard in her life.)  She had met him on the stairs
+one day as he was going out, and he had taken off his hat as he
+passed her.  Very few Englishmen would have done that; he was
+certainly a foreigner of some sort.  She, however, scouted the idea
+that he was married, and made up her mind that he was crossed in love.
+
+"There is the young foreigner," Miss Brown had said to her sister as
+Donovan came into the coffee-room that morning.  They had agreed to
+call him the _foreigner_, as a sort of general term which suited the
+opinions of each.
+
+"He is coming to this side of the room," said Miss Marianne, looking
+up from her egg, but hastily and decorously turning to the window,
+and making a vague remark about the weather when she found the dark,
+flashing eyes of the stranger glancing across at her from the other
+table.
+
+"He looks rather happier this morning," said Miss Brown, in a low
+tone.
+
+Miss Marianne of course wished him to look gloomy, and tried to see
+something melancholy in the way in which he sipped his coffee,
+stroked his moustache, and cut his roll in half, gently insinuating
+to her sister that men in good spirits would have broken a roll; that
+to be so methodical in trifles was, she thought, rather a sign of--in
+fact quite supported her theory.  Both ladies were a little startled
+when the hero of their romance called a waiter, and without the
+slightest foreign accent asked if the morning papers had come.
+
+"Strange that he should care to see English papers," said Miss Brown,
+musingly.
+
+"I believe I have heard that Spaniards are very good linguists," said
+Miss Marianne, timidly.
+
+"Not half so clever as Italians, my dear," said the elder sister.
+"Think of Dante, and--and Garibaldi."
+
+Miss Marianne was rather overwhelmed by the mention of these great
+men, and did not for a moment question that they had been renowned
+linguists; she did indeed try to think of some Spanish celebrity of
+equal renown, and racked her brains for the name of the author of
+"Don Quixote," but it had escaped her memory, and before she could
+recall it the waiter returned with the newspapers.  The "foreigner"
+took the _Times_ and glanced rapidly down the first column; Miss
+Brown would have liked to think that he looked at the agony column,
+but his eye travelled too far down the page for that, he would have
+passed the space allotted to sentimental messages, and have reached
+the uninteresting notices of lost and found dogs, &c.; Miss Marianne
+had the best of it now--he was evidently looking at the marriages.
+The two sisters almost gave a sympathetic start, when suddenly their
+neighbour's forehead was sharply contracted, and a quick flush rose
+to his cheek.  What could it be?  The marriage of the girl whom he
+loved?  There was real and undoubted romance here, not a question of
+it.  How interesting hotel life was, it must be something like
+watching a play, though Miss Brown had never been to the play--she
+would have thought it exceedingly wrong.  Poor boy! how impatiently
+he throws down the paper, it falls on to the floor, and Miss
+Marianne, leaning back in her chair and trying to see below the cloth
+of the adjoining table, maintains that he has put his foot on it,
+actually "crushed it under foot," that is very romantic!  Then he
+hastily drains his coffee cup, and when he puts it down, the flush
+has died away from his face, and has left it very pale, and cold, and
+still.  The arrival of the paper seems to have taken away his
+appetite, for he abruptly pushes back his chair, leaves his
+half-finished breakfast, and stalks out of the room.
+
+The sisters were much excited.  As they walked on the beach that
+morning they agreed that East Codrington was a charming place.  Some
+people called it dull, but for their part they thought it a most
+amusing little town.  It was very pleasant to meet fresh faces, very
+interesting to watch other people's lives.  Miss Brown said that the
+sea air or something made her feel quite young again.  Scarcely were
+the words out of her mouth when Miss Marianne suddenly caught her
+arm, exclaiming,
+
+"Sister, look, there is the 'foreigner' again!"
+
+Miss Brown looked along the esplanade for the solitary figure with
+the grave dark face, but could not see it.
+
+"There! there! not nearly so far off," said Miss Marianne.  "Don't
+you see him reading to that little girl in the invalid chair?"
+
+"Impossible!" said Miss Brown, quickly.  "He is far too young to have
+a child of that age; but it is the 'foreigner' I see, she must be his
+sister.  Suppose, Marianne, we sit down a little."
+
+Miss Marianne owned that she was tired, and the two ladies
+established themselves on the beach, about a stone's throw from Dot
+and Donovan, taking care to choose a side posture, so that on one
+hand they could watch the sea, and on the other the hero of their
+romance.  Every now and then the breeze wafted a sentence of the
+reading to the two sisters.  They exchanged glances with each other,
+and Miss Marianne whispered, "English!"  Then something in the book
+made both the reader and the listener laugh heartily, and the name of
+"Ali Baba" was caught by Miss Brown, who nodded to her sister, and
+whispered, "The Arabian Nights."  Then came a fresh mystery, the
+reader's face suddenly became dark and overcast, and there was quite
+a different tone in his voice as he read the words, "You plainly see
+that Cogia Houssain only sought your acquaintance in order to insure
+success in his diabolical treachery."
+
+Now why should Cogia Houssain bring such a strange bitter look into
+anyone's face?  Presently the story of the "Forty Thieves" was
+finished, and the hero's face was good-tempered again, he moved the
+little invalid's chair quite to the edge of the esplanade, as near as
+possible to the shingle, so that without wilful listening the two old
+ladies could hear all that passed perfectly; whatever their hero was
+when alone, there could be no doubt that he was merry enough now.
+
+There was a laughing discussion about the dog's swimming powers.
+
+"You only tried him once in the Serpentine, you know," said the
+little invalid.  "I don't believe you dare try him here."
+
+"See if I don't!" said Donovan, laughing, and whistling to the
+fox-terrier.  "I'll throw him a stone."
+
+"No, no, that's no test," said Dot.  "Throw him your new stick.  Ah!
+I believe you're afraid to!  You don't think he'll get it back!"
+
+"You dare me to?" asked Donovan.  "Come along, Waif, and show your
+mistress how clever you are."
+
+The dog followed his master obediently across the shingle to the
+water's edge, and plunged in valiantly as soon as the stick was
+thrown.  Donovan had sent it far out, and the receding tide was
+bearing it further still, but Waif swam on indefatigably, and, after
+some minutes, clenched it successfully in his teeth, and turned back
+again.  Dot waved her handkerchief from the esplanade in
+congratulation, and both dog and master hurried up the beach towards
+her; on the way, however, Waif paused to shake the water from his
+coat, and, unluckily, the two old ladies were within the radius of
+the drops, and received a sort of shower bath.  Donovan hastened up
+to apologise.
+
+"I am afraid my dog has been troubling you.  I hope he has done no
+damage?"
+
+"Oh! none, thank you," said the sisters, smiling.  "Salt water never
+gives cold.  We were much amused by watching him in the sea."
+
+"He's a capital swimmer.  My little sister wouldn't believe he was a
+water-dog," and then, raising his hat, Donovan passed on with a
+triumphant greeting to the little invalid.
+
+"Well, Dot! own now that you're beaten."
+
+"Quite beaten.  He was splendid," said Dot, enthusiastically.
+
+Presently, as the old ladies rose to move on, and passed close to the
+brother and sister, Dot looked up in her sweet shy way, and said,
+
+"I hope Waif did not hurt your dress just now?"
+
+Miss Marianne, with a beaming face, hastened to re-assure her.
+
+"Not in the least, my dear, thank you," and then, touched by the
+fragile little face, the old lady began to search in a Mentone basket
+that she carried for some of the beach treasures which she had been
+picking up.  "Would you like some shells, my dear?  We have found
+some rather pretty ones this morning."
+
+Dot's shy gratitude was very charming, and Donovan, always pleased by
+any attention shown to her, began to talk to the old ladies, quite
+forgetting his usual haughty reserve.
+
+The Miss Browns' romance certainly died out in the light of truth,
+but they were much interested in the brother and sister, though their
+hero had proved to be neither a Spaniard nor an Italian.  Donovan,
+however, was rather a puzzle to them.  In a few days' time, Miss
+Marianne learnt to her regret, from some other people at the hotel,
+that her hero, though so devoted to his little invalid sister, was
+the most noted billiard-player in the place, and the gentle old
+ladies regretted it, for, as Miss Brown the elder said, "it was a
+dangerous taste for such a young man, particularly as he seemed to be
+his own master."  They talked the matter over together, but agreed
+that they could not presume to offer advice; however, an occasion
+soon came when their consciences would not allow them to keep silence.
+
+It was Sunday morning; Miss Marianne timidly suggested that, if it
+would not be wrong, she would very much like a little turn on the
+esplanade before going to church.  Her sister was rather puritanical;
+however, she thought there could be no harm in "taking the air," so,
+armed with their large church services and hymn-books, the two old
+ladies set out.  The day was intensely hot and sultry, the sea was as
+calm as a mill-pond, the tiny waves lazily lapping the shore as if
+they, too, felt the heat, and could not dance briskly as usual.
+There was a quiet Sunday feeling all around; no stir of business or
+traffic; the church bells ringing for service, and the passers-by
+walking quietly, with none of the hurry and bustle of the ordinary
+every day passengers.  The old ladies enjoyed their walk, but just as
+they had turned for the last time before going in the direction of
+the bells they caught sight of their friends in the distance; there
+was the invalid chair, with the little pale-faced child, and on a
+bench beside her was Donovan, in a most unsabbatical light-brown
+shooting-jacket, and cloth travelling-hat; to add to it all, he was
+smoking, and to the Miss Browns the sight of a cigar was always a
+sight to be deplored, but on Sunday smoking seemed to them little
+better than sacrilege.  Miss Marianne was almost disarmed by the
+courtesy of the greeting, but her sister would not allow her face to
+soften; good looks and pleasant manners were all very well, but
+"Sabbath breaking" was a sin which could not be passed by, so she
+tried not to see the fascinating dark eyes, and said, gravely,
+
+"Are you not coming to church to-day, Mr. Farrant?"
+
+"No, Miss Brown," replied Donovan, not at all offended by the
+question, to which indeed he was pretty well accustomed, "Dot and I
+mean to sit here and enjoy the view.  A beautiful day, is it not?"
+
+"It is very pleasant to see you so attentive to your sister," said
+Miss Brown, severely, "but religion ought to stand first, young man.
+The soul ought to be considered before the body."
+
+"There is a very good preacher at St. Oswald's," suggested Miss
+Marianne, timidly.
+
+Donovan looked at her half sadly and half amusedly, but shook his
+head, and the two ladies passed on, Miss Brown gathering up her
+skirts as though she would really be sorry to touch such a hardened
+and misguided sinner.
+
+He resumed his cigar, but with rather a clouded brow, wishing that
+people would leave him unmolested.  Dot was the first to break the
+silence.
+
+"What does 'soul' really mean, Dono?" she began, in her childish
+voice.  "Doery calls old Betty, the charwoman, 'poor soul,' but I
+fancy that is because her husband drinks.  Are we all poor souls?"
+
+"Most of us," said Donovan, shortly.
+
+"But what is a soul?" persisted Dot.
+
+"A name given by some people to the mind," he replied.  "Though I
+daresay those old ladies would not agree to that, and would tell you
+it was quite a different part of you."
+
+Now Dot had lived on contentedly for many years in entire ignorance,
+but she was just beginning to be roused, and the words of the two old
+ladies had perplexed her.
+
+"What part of us is it?" she questioned.
+
+He hesitated for a moment.
+
+"The part you love me with, I suppose."
+
+"Then do you think it would be really good for the part you love me
+with to go to church?"
+
+"No, you sweet little arguer, I don't," he replied, smiling; "and, if
+it would, I shouldn't go and leave you in your pain, but don't
+trouble your head about the matter, darling.  If religion makes sour,
+selfish, soul-preservers like that, it stands to reason it's false.
+I'll have none of it!  Fancy listening to a sermon with the idea that
+it was virtuous, and leaving you to Doery's tender mercies, or all
+alone with the sun blazing in your eyes!"
+
+He held the umbrella more protectingly over her as he spoke, and was
+rather vexed to see that her usually smooth serene forehead was
+knitted in anxious thought.
+
+"What is the matter?" he asked, jealous of anything which she kept
+back from him.
+
+"I am so puzzled," said Dot, wearily.  "I don't know what people mean
+by religion; my head aches so.  Do you think I ought to make myself
+think what it is?"
+
+"Of course not, you dear little goose," he said, stroking back the
+hair from her hot face.  "Who put such morbid ideas into your head?"
+
+"No one," said Dot, wistfully, "only it seems as if we ought to find
+out which is right, you or the other people."
+
+"It will not make much difference, perhaps," said Donovan, throwing
+away the end of his cigar.  "We shall all come to an end, I
+suppose--be smoked out and thrown away, so to speak."
+
+Dot looked troubled, and he hastily bent down and kissed her.
+
+"We are talking of things we know nothing about, dear.  You and I
+must love each other, that is all I know.  Don't let us talk of this
+any more, it only worries you."
+
+"But, Dono, just one thing more.  When it is all done, when we die,
+shall I have to leave off loving you?"
+
+A black shadow passed over his face, but he did not answer.  Dot
+understood what he meant, and clasped her tiny fingers round his
+tightly.
+
+"Oh!  Dono," she said, mournfully, "I couldn't bear to stop loving
+you--I had never thought about that.  Oh!  I hope I shall live to be
+very, very old, even if I'm always ill.  Why is your face so white
+and stiff, Dono?  Are you thinking what you would do if I didn't live
+to be old?"
+
+"_Don't!_" he cried, passionately, and there was such anguish in his
+tone that Dot looked half frightened, and faltered,
+
+"I didn't mean--I'm very sorry."
+
+He kissed her, and she noticed that his lips were very cold, and his
+voice, though quieter when he next spoke, sounded odd and unnatural.
+
+"It is all right, darling--I didn't mean to frighten you--it is
+nothing.  I must be alone--I must think."
+
+He moved her chair into the shade, and then walked along the shore
+battling with the terrible thoughts which filled his mind.  What if
+Dot should be taken away from him?  It was the same agonizing idea
+which Adela's words had suggested to him not long before.  Now he was
+alone and could allow himself to face it, could relax for the time
+the control which in her presence he was obliged to keep up.
+Throwing himself down on the shingle, he allowed the shadowy foes one
+after another to throng up into his mind, wrestling with each in a
+vain, hopeless endeavour to crush them.  Sooner or later the end must
+come, he knew it perfectly well, and yet, like a hunted creature, he
+tried for some possible means of escape, or at any rate of delay.
+Could he force himself, for the sake of peace, to believe what
+popular religion taught?  No, he told himself that it would be as
+impossible as to believe in the old Norse legends of the happy
+hunting fields.  There was no escape for him, the separation must be
+faced.
+
+He lay stretched out on the pebbles with his face turned from the
+light, more wretched and forlorn than the poorest beggar in East
+Codrington.  His miserable struggle and dumb despair were at last
+broken in upon by the sound of a voice in the distance, a
+high-pitched man's voice, which beat uncomfortably on his ear, and
+sounded melancholy and depressing, as open-air speaking generally
+does sound.  He started up impatiently, and saw that a street
+preacher had gathered together a little knot of men and women on the
+beach, at no great distance from him.  He disliked the interruption,
+and yet, with a sort of curiosity, sauntered towards the little
+group, and listened for a few minutes, but unfortunately the preacher
+happened at the minute to be denouncing "modern ritualism" with much
+bitterness, and he soon turned away contemptuously.  Did not these
+professing Christians "bite and devour" one another?  Did they not
+unsparingly condemn all with whom they did not agree?  And, holding
+the views they did about the future state, did they not still live
+easy, quiet, indulgent lives, though they believed that more than
+half mankind would finally be "lost"?
+
+By-and-by there was singing; with great gusto the preacher started
+the hymn "There is a fountain."  Donovan's misery had been keen
+enough before, this just made it complete.  The old melody--powerful
+though it is when sung by a great multitude--has something extremely
+aggravating about it.
+
+  "I _will_ believe--I _do_ believe!"
+
+Over and over again with emphatic untunefulness the motley crowd
+roared and shouted the refrain.
+
+Donovan's dark face grew darker, he set his teeth, listened for a
+time, then walked away with a look of intense scorn, resolving in his
+own mind that, miserable though he was, he would at least be honest,
+no cupboard faith for him!
+
+Dot did not allude to the conversation again.  She could not bear to
+risk recalling the look of pain to Donovan's face, and if she puzzled
+over the difference of opinion which had attracted her notice, she
+kept her difficulties to herself; but she fancied she understood why
+it was that, not long after that Sunday, Donovan made arrangements
+with an artist staying in the hotel to paint a miniature of her.  A
+sweet, wistful, and yet childlike face it was, but the artist
+idealised it, and gave to the beautiful eyes more fulness of
+satisfaction than just at that time they really expressed, leaving it
+to the lips to show whatever latent sadness or desire there remained.
+
+In September the visit to Codrington was ended; Mrs. Doery was
+obliged to be at Oakdene to superintend the preparations for the
+return of her master and mistress, and Donovan wished to be at home
+when his mother arrived, chiefly from a dislike to coming back when
+his step-father was actually installed in his new position as head of
+the household; he chose to be there beforehand, and awaited the
+return in a sort of proud silence, never even to Dot breathing a
+single word which could tell how much he dreaded it.
+
+On the whole the event proved to be not half so disagreeable as he
+had expected.  Ellis was kind and conciliatory at first, and, though
+his patronage was hard to bear, Donovan had sense enough to be
+thankful for whatever would avert an open quarrel.  He felt
+instinctively that sooner or later there would be disagreement
+between them, and for Dot's sake he was glad to keep the peace.
+
+What he really suffered from chiefly that autumn was an utterly
+different thing.  Under the new _régime_, Doery had been constituted
+housekeeper; Ellis was hospitable, and constantly had the Manor full
+of his friends, so that Mrs. Farrant did not care for the burden and
+anxiety of household management; it was quite another thing to the
+quiet routine which she had been able to superintend with little
+trouble before her second marriage.  Mrs. Doery therefore ascended in
+the domestic scale from nurse to housekeeper, and a new attendant
+waited on Dot in her place.  It seemed a very trifling change in the
+house, only a new servant, only one insignificant addition, hardly
+worth thinking of, but to Dot the change meant the opening of a new
+life.  Now, at last, she began to understand the meaning of things.
+Phœbe, who had been blessed with better teaching than poor old
+Mrs. Doery, and was more loving and kind-hearted, opened an entirely
+new world to her little helpless charge, and Dot, in her simple,
+childlike happiness in the new revelation, wondered why people had
+not told her before, but never thought of blaming them for the
+ignorance in which they had let her grow up.
+
+Her simple, unquestioning acceptance of the most incomprehensible
+doctrines was a marvel to Donovan; he could not the least understand
+it.  Dot once or twice spoke with him on the subject, but he always
+silenced her gently, for, though he could not understand or
+sympathise with her new happiness, he was unwilling to interfere with
+it, or to trouble the child's mind with his own views.  He thought it
+all a delusion, and it pained him that she should believe it; but,
+seeing how much it must soften both life and death to her, he was
+willing that she should believe in the delusion.  Still the trial to
+himself was very hard to bear, for though to Dot the change seemed
+only to intensify her love, and in no way to interfere with Donovan's
+place in her heart, he necessarily felt that there was a barrier
+between them; what to him did not exist was everything to her; till
+lately she had depended entirely on him, now he was
+superseded--dearly loved still, but yet superseded.  This was a
+greater trouble than all the annoyance of his mother's second
+marriage.  Donovan loved Dot so blindly and solely that the idea of
+not reigning alone in her heart was terrible to him.  Ever since his
+childhood he had been her protector; to yield her to any other love
+in which he believed would have been very hard, but to allow his
+place to be usurped by that which he could not comprehend or believe
+to be, was bitter beyond all thought.  It was, perhaps, the most
+severe test of his love that there could have been; he passed through
+it without faltering, tried to find comfort in the sight of her
+serene happiness, and bore his pain in silence; the fact that it was
+a strange, unnatural, morbid pain did not make it any easier to
+endure, but quite the contrary.
+
+Ellis Farrant, not having too tender a conscience, managed to enjoy
+his new position thoroughly for the first few months.  He was in many
+ways a good-natured man, and it was very pleasant to him, after his
+bachelor life and small income, to find himself at the head of a
+comfortable and even luxurious home; his wife was pretty and placid,
+his means were ample, he was able to ask his friends down to Oakdene
+for the shooting, and altogether he thoroughly appreciated his change
+of fortune.  For a little while he even felt kindly disposed to
+Donovan, for, as he said to himself, the poor wretch would have a
+hard enough life next year, when he came of age, and might as well
+enjoy the present.  He even at times began to regret the part he had
+set himself to play, wavered a little, and half contemplated starting
+his ward in some profession fairly and honourably.  If Donovan had
+behaved sensibly, this really might have come about, but he was not
+sensible.  In a very short time he began to grow weary of making
+polite responses to his step-father's patronage; he never openly
+disputed his authority or actually quarrelled with him, but he
+allowed his dislike to show itself, and took no pains to be pleasant
+and companionable.  Ellis was not a man to be trifled with; his
+kindness was a mere impulse, and directly he found that Donovan did
+not respond to it, he took offence, and disliked him a great deal
+more than he had previously done.
+
+It was a most unsatisfactory household.  An outsider, locking into
+the luxurious dining-room of the Manor, might not have discovered
+anything amiss, certainly; Mrs. Farrant, at the head of the table,
+looked young and pretty and languid; Ellis, at the opposite end,
+seemed hospitable and good-natured; Donovan had apparently everything
+that could be wished in circumstances, health, and personal
+advantages.  But beneath all this outward appearance was a miserable
+reality of injustice, jealousy, and hatred.
+
+One evening in December, after Mrs. Farrant had left the
+dinner-table, the storm broke at last.  Donovan had been more than
+usually gloomy and depressed.  Dot had just had one of her bad
+attacks; he was worn out with attending to her; he was morbidly
+unhappy at the change in her views, and her supposed change towards
+himself, and his manner towards his step-father had been so short and
+sullen that the elder man's patience at length gave way.
+
+As the door closed behind Mrs. Farrant, her husband refilled his
+glass, drained it, and then suddenly confronted his step-son with the
+fierceness of a weak, impulsive man who is thoroughly exasperated.
+
+"I tell you what, Donovan, if you go on any longer in this way, you
+can't expect me to be civil to you.  Do you think I shall stand
+having a mute morose idiot of a boy always at my table, a skeleton at
+the feast?  If you don't mend your manners pretty quickly, you won't
+find this house comfortable."
+
+Donovan did not reply, but cracked three walnuts in succession
+without even looking up.  The absence of retort only made Ellis more
+angry, however.
+
+"Do you not hear me, sir?" he continued, still more vehemently.
+
+"Yes," said Donovan, looking up at last, and speaking in a singularly
+controlled voice, which contrasted strangely with his step-father's
+violence.
+
+Ellis raged on, doubly irritated by the mono-syllable.
+
+"Do you think it is pleasant to me to have your gloomy face always
+haunting me?  I tell you I'd rather sit opposite a skull and
+cross-bones!  I'm not going to have my new home spoilt by an
+insufferable cub of your age."
+
+Now, with all his faults, Donovan had one good quality which often
+stood him in good stead.  Old Mrs. Doery had at least taught him one
+useful lesson in his childhood.  She had taught him to restrain
+himself, a lesson which, in these days of universal license to the
+young, is too often neglected.  Many people would have fired up at
+once, if they had been spoken to in such a way.  It would have been
+hard under any circumstances, but when the words were addressed to
+him in the house which had been his own father's, and by the man who
+had ousted him from his proper place, it must be owned that they were
+most intolerable.  He flushed deeply and bit his lip.
+
+"I am glad to see you have the grace to be ashamed," said Ellis,
+provokingly, impatient of this continued silence.
+
+By this time Donovan had himself well in hand.  His face was calm and
+rigid, and he could trust himself to reply without losing his temper,
+though his cold pride was not likely to choose wise words.
+
+"I am sorry to have annoyed you, but naturally 'as you have brewed so
+you will drink.'  I have not changed particularly in the last few
+months, and I suppose last summer you foresaw that there would be two
+incumbrances in your new home."
+
+Of course this only angered Ellis still more.
+
+"You young puppy!" he exclaimed, angrily, "do you remember whom you
+are speaking to?  Do you know that I can turn you out of the house,
+if I like?  Do you recollect who I am?"
+
+"Yes," said Donovan, ironically, "I remember that you are my father's
+trustee and my guardian."
+
+Ellis suddenly changed colour, pushed back his chair, and began to
+pace up and down the room.  His step-son's words had stung him far
+more deeply than the speaker intended.  "His father's trustee!" yes,
+and what a trustee!  The name itself was a reproach and a mockery!
+He felt afraid of Donovan, ashamed to look at him; his recent anger
+and hatred suddenly died away into a trembling shrinking dread.  This
+boy, whom he had cheated and robbed and fatally injured, was able at
+times to influence him greatly.  He felt that he must be pacified and
+kept at bay during the few months which remained of his minority.
+
+On the whole, Ellis did not look very much like a happy bridegroom
+and head of the household as he came back to the table.  He was ashy
+pale, and his hand shook as he poured out his next glass of wine.
+Donovan, as he waited, with his cold impassive face, expecting a
+fresh burst of anger, was surprised when his step-father next broke
+the silence, to find that the storm had been as brief as it had been
+severe.  There was an almost pitiable struggle for really frank
+reconciliation in Ellis's tone as he said,
+
+"Come, old fellow, don't let us quarrel; we have always been friends.
+I spoke hastily just now, but, you know, you really cut your own
+throat by looking so glum.  Everyone would like you twice as well if
+you had a little more go in you.  Probyn was saying only the other
+night what a clever fellow you were.  He said he hadn't met a better
+whist-player for years.  You think everyone's against you, and so
+you're morose and reserved, but I don't know a fellow who has more
+advantages than you, if only you'd condescend to use them a little
+more.  There! you see I'm giving you quite a paternal lecture.  Put
+that in your pipe, and smoke it.  What do you say to some cribbage,
+now?"
+
+"I'll come down at ten," said Donovan, allowing his face to relax;
+then, sweeping up a handful of walnut shells, he left the table, and
+spent the rest of the evening with Dot, making a miniature fleet of
+boats, to her great content.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+"LET NOTHING YOU DISMAY."
+
+  Heart's brother hast thou ever known
+    What meaneth that No more?
+  Hast thou the bitterness outdrawn,
+    Close hidden at its core?
+
+  Oh! no--draw from it worlds of pain,
+    And thou shalt surely find,
+  That in that word there doth remain
+    A bitterer drop behind.
+                          ARCHBISHOP TRENCH.
+
+
+"Phœbe says she doesn't think I shall be really frightened when
+the time comes, and there isn't anything really to be afraid of, you
+know--it is so different now; when we talked about it at Codrington
+it all seemed so dark and dreadful I couldn't bear ever to let it
+come up to be thought over.  How long one can put away things when
+they are not nice to think about?"
+
+"Then why do you talk like this, what good does it do?" questioned
+Donovan.  It was a December afternoon, and they were talking in the
+twilight.
+
+"I'm sorry, I had forgotten.  It was very selfish," said Dot,
+penitently.  It was so hard for her to remember that Donovan did not
+share in her new sense of relief, that she more than once made little
+allusions of this sort; had she been less simple and childish, his
+want of participation would have made her unhappy, as it was,
+however, she was content to leave it, sure that in time it would come
+to him.
+
+Donovan was very irritable that day, not, of course, with Dot, he was
+always gentle with her even when in his worst moods, but he was in
+one of his querulous, carping humours, and quarrelled with everything
+he read.  The oft quoted line of Pope's,
+
+  "One truth is clear, whatever is is right,"
+
+was quite sufficient to call forth an angry tirade.
+
+It was a lie, it could not possibly be proved!  Were murder, and
+fraud, and oppression, and injustice right?  People had no business
+to make great, false, sweeping assertions of that kind.  The anger
+soon came down to more personal matters.
+
+"Was it right, do you think, that you and I should have been left to
+old Doery, and bullied and tormented as we were?  Was it right that
+you should be mismanaged and half killed by an owl of a country
+doctor?  Is it right that you should be suffering as you are now?"
+
+"Some things do seem hard," said Dot, "but we have not got to
+understand why everything is, and I think it's best to be still and
+take what comes.  Do you know, Dono, sometimes when I'm very cross
+with the pain for coming back so often, I think of what we saw at
+Codrington.  Do you remember the little bay where the rocks were, and
+how we used to watch the waves dashing so angrily against the very
+tall upright rock, and passing so quietly over the little ones?  I
+think if we are patient, and don't set ourselves up to fight against
+the pain and grumble at it, it is not half so hard to bear."
+
+Now Donovan had always felt a sort of sympathy with the tall solitary
+rock, with its hard jagged outline, braving in its own strength the
+power of the waves.  Dot's idea did not please him; patience,
+lowliness, and submission were virtues far beyond his comprehension,
+and he felt very strongly that painful sense of separation which had
+sprung up so strangely between them during the last few months.  He
+felt far away from Dot, and he hated the feeling and quickly changed
+the subject.
+
+"Shall I read something else to you?" he asked.
+
+"I should like some music," said Dot, knowing that this would lead to
+no discussion which could displease Donovan, and then ensued what
+some people would have thought a rather incongruous selection,
+ranging from Sebastian Bach to the latest popular song, and from
+"Vedrai Carino" to "The Green Hill far away."  There was no
+distinction in music to Donovan, he played all Dot's favourites one
+after the other.  In the middle of the last hymn Mrs. Farrant came
+in.  It was the time of her second daily visit.
+
+"Pray stop that tune, Donovan," she said, plaintively.  "We are
+always having it in church, and I am so tired of it, the boys sing it
+frightfully out of time, and always get flat in the last line.  How
+do you feel this afternoon, Dot?"
+
+"Better, thank you, mamma," said Dot, looking wistfully across the
+room at Donovan, as he tossed aside the hymn-book impatiently.
+
+"Really better?" questioned Mrs. Farrant, with anxiety, for Dot had
+been suffering so much more lately, that even her calm phlegmatic
+nature had been stirred to uneasiness and apprehension.
+
+"Yes, I think so," said the little girl.  "Dono and I have been
+settling our Christmas presents, and what do you think he is going to
+give me, mamma?  A clock--a dear little clock of my very own."
+
+She had gained the end she wanted; Donovan, who had been at the other
+side of the room, turned round, met her eyes, and came to her.
+
+"Dono spoils you, I think," said Mrs. Farrant, smiling; and somehow
+the words, trifling as they were, drew the three together.  Donovan
+recovered his temper, and for once talked naturally before his
+mother, teased Dot merrily, and quite surprised Mrs. Farrant by his
+high spirits.  "I never saw you so talkative before," she remarked,
+as the dressing-bell rang, and she rose to go.
+
+"It is Dot who teaches us how to laugh," said Donovan.  "You are a
+little witch, and sweep away bad humours instead of cobwebs."
+
+Christmas to Donovan only meant a full house, an incomprehensible
+gaiety and good humour, a conventional old-fashioned dinner, which he
+did not like, and a certain amount of holly and ivy.  In his
+different way he was quite as far from understanding it as poor old
+Scrooge in the "Christmas Carol."  The year before old Mr. Hayes had
+dined with them, but he was now far away, for, not many weeks before,
+his "castle in the air" had become a reality; an old friend of his
+had returned from the United States, having made his fortune; he had
+come to Oakdene to see Mr. Hayes, had discovered the great wish of
+his old school-fellow, and had suggested a six months' tour on the
+Continent, in which he was to bear the greater part of the expense.
+So the old man in childlike glee had let his cottage and started for
+Italy, taking a cordial farewell of Donovan, and recommending him to
+follow his plan, which was now coming to such a successful issue.
+
+The guests, therefore, this year only consisted of Adela Farrant and
+two friends of Ellis's; nor was the misanthropical Donovan very sorry
+that such should be the case.  There was something almost ghastly to
+him in the merriment which everyone seemed to think it right to force
+up.  The real happiness of the season was of course utterly unknown
+to him, and he had not even any recollections of the "merry
+Christmas" of childhood to fall back upon.
+
+Adela tried to tease him into a little conversation as she sat beside
+him at dinner, but it was hard work.
+
+"Do you know, Donovan, I was staying at a country house in Sussex
+last September, and the first night I got there I saw some one who
+reminded me so much of you."
+
+"Indeed!" replied her taciturn companion.
+
+"He was not so much like you in face as in manner; I thought to
+myself, no one but my cousin Donovan sits through an evening in such
+complete silence, and afterwards--what do you think?--I found out
+that your double was dumb."
+
+Donovan laughed a little.
+
+"I can't make small talk," he said--"I told you so long ago."
+
+"Oh! of course your great intellect can't stoop to frivolities," said
+Adela, with pretended sarcasm in her tone, but laughter in her bright
+eyes.  "Perhaps you would kindly give me a little instruction,
+though, on some of the weighty subjects that fill your brain."
+
+He laughed again, but then, thinking of his misery at Codrington,
+added, quite gravely,
+
+"My brain is anxious just now to forget certain weighty subjects, not
+to rake them up.  Dot came out with one of her quaint remarks the
+other day, which mix in so strangely with her childishness; she
+noticed how wonderful it was that you can put any subject out of your
+head, when it is not pleasant to think of it, for an almost unlimited
+time."
+
+"My dear cousin," said Adela, "do you mean you always keep skeletons
+in your cupboard?"
+
+"The world is full of grim things--I try to forget them," said
+Donovan.
+
+"You're the most extraordinary person," said Adela.  "You actually
+never mean to face these things?"
+
+"Not till I'm obliged to," said Donovan.
+
+"Perhaps that accounts for your stupidity," said Adela, with a daring
+flash of her dark eyes.  "A thousand pardons--I mean the brevity of
+your remarks."
+
+"There you have the worst of it, cousin, for 'Brevity is the soul of
+wit,'" said Donovan.
+
+"Ah! well, I think you are improved; you shall not be scolded,"
+replied Adela, good-humouredly; then, resuming her playful
+maliciousness, she continued--"It was such a pity you weren't at
+church this morning; the decorations were beautiful, really quite
+worth seeing--a cross and two triangles of white azaleas sent by the
+Wards, any amount of wreathing round the pillars, and some charming
+devices in Epsom salts on a red background."
+
+Donovan naturally scoffed at this.
+
+"I can't think how you can like that sort of thing--if you despise
+and condemn pagans, why do you borrow their customs?"
+
+"You hard, matter-of-fact creature!  Why, of course we must have a
+little beauty.  Can't you understand what a help it is?"
+
+"No, I can't," said Donovan, shortly.  Then, as the blazing Christmas
+pudding was brought in, he continued his grumble.  "This, too, is an
+absurd, senseless old custom.  What good does it do us all to sit
+round the table and watch blue flames, and then eat a horrible,
+black, burnt, compound, like hot wedding-cake?"
+
+"You are a wretch," said Adela.  "You would like to sweep away all
+the dear old manners and customs, and start us all in a new order of
+things, where men would be machines, and everything would be done by
+rule and measure.  You would like us all to be as rational and
+comprehensible as vulgar fractious, now would you not?"
+
+"It would simplify life," said Donovan, smiling.
+
+"I knew you'd say so," said Adela, triumphantly.  "It's really quite
+dreadful to talk to such a flint.  Have you no associations with the
+dear old things?  Were you never young?"
+
+"No, I don't think I ever was," said Donovan, with a touch of sadness
+in his voice.
+
+The conversation somehow paused here, until an uncontrolled yawn on
+Donovan's part stimulated Adela to a fresh effort.
+
+"You are horribly uninteresting," she said.
+
+"Yes, I'm most abominably sleepy.  I was up last night."
+
+"Ah! so Dot told me," replied Adela.  "You tell her stories, she
+says, just like the wonderful story-teller in the 'Arabian Nights,'
+one after the other."
+
+"It amuses her," said Donovan, "and sometimes I have sent her to
+sleep in that way, but we couldn't manage it last night.  She is
+dreadfully worn out to-day after all the pain."
+
+"These attacks seem much more frequent than they used to be," said
+Adela.
+
+"Yes," he replied, and there was something in his voice which made
+Adela suddenly grave, but in a minute he recovered himself, and with
+his ordinary manner asked if he should peel an orange for her.
+
+Just then some carol-singers began a hymn outside, but the rest of
+the party were not quite in the humour for hymns.
+
+"Oh! those boys sing so badly," said Mrs. Farrant.  "Do send them
+away, Ellis."
+
+"Yes, I think we had about enough of them this morning at church,"
+said Ellis, and he would have sent word to them to go had not Donovan
+risen.
+
+"I'll take them round to the other side of the house," he said.  "Dot
+likes music."
+
+"What!" exclaimed Adela, "you mean to countenance a heathenish old
+custom, after all you have said?"
+
+"Dot will like it," he replied, as if this were a sufficient reason
+for countenancing anything.
+
+The little invalid's room seemed very quiet and dim after the merry
+voices and bright lights down below, and yet it was an unspeakable
+relief to Donovan to be there with her once more, away from the
+hollow merriment of his step-father and the other guests, away from
+Adela's good-humoured banter.  Dot was in bed, and there was about
+her that terrible stillness of utter exhaustion which makes illness,
+and especially a child's illness, so very sad to see.  She was quite
+worn out with sleeplessness, and, though the pain was less severe
+than it had been, her face still bore marks of suffering.  She did
+not move as Donovan entered, but welcomed him with her eyes.
+
+"You have done dinner quickly to-night," she said.  "You have not
+been hurrying to get back to me?"
+
+"No; but some carol-singers have come," said Donovan, "and I thought
+you would like to hear them."
+
+"Oh, I am so glad!" she said, with child-like pleasure.  "I did so
+want to hear the carols that Phœbe has been telling me about.
+Please draw up the blind, Phœbe, so that they may know we are
+listening.  Oh! there is my clock striking.  Hark!"
+
+Donovan's present, an exquisite little travelling clock, stood on the
+mantelpiece, and as Dot spoke it chimed the hour, then struck eight
+o'clock in sweet, low, muffled tones, like the sound of a distant
+cathedral bell.
+
+"It is so beautiful," she said, happily.  "It will make the night go
+so much more quickly.  Now put your arm round me, Don dear."
+
+Then the choir-boys outside began their carol, the voices sounding
+sweet and subdued as they floated up into the silence of the
+sick-room.  At first the words seemed almost incongruous, the dear
+old Christmas hymn had surely not been meant for such sadness, and
+suffering, and anxiety?  But the shrill fearless trebles went on, and
+Donovan and Dot listened.
+
+  "God rest you, merry gentlemen,
+  Let nothing you dismay,
+  Remember Christ our Saviour
+  Was born on Christmas Day;
+  To save us all from Satan's power.
+  When we were gone astray;
+  O tidings of comfort and joy,
+              Comfort and joy,
+  O tidings of comfort and joy!"
+
+
+Dot caught the refrain which came at the end of every verse, and was
+delighted with it.  By-and-by the singers went away, and Dot asked to
+have some reading.  Some one had sent her a leaflet hymn; it was a
+description of the "City with streets of gold," and Donovan read it
+through patiently, though it seemed to him sensational and
+unsatisfying, and he was grieved to think that she could care for
+such material delights as were described.  It was a positive relief
+to him that she did not like it.  To sing and rest in a luxurious
+city could not be her ideal of a future life.
+
+"And besides," she said, in her quaint way, "there isn't time to
+think about the houses, and the streets, and the gardens, they don't
+make the home; it is something like the home here, I think; you know,
+though Oakdene is so pretty, it is only because you are here that I
+love it, it is you that I think of, not the house."
+
+There was a pause in which the candle flared for a moment in its
+socket, and then died out, leaving the room in darkness.  The maid
+had gone away.  Donovan would have rung, but Dot stopped him.
+
+"We won't have another," she said.  "I like to be in the dark when
+you hold me near you; and, look, we can see the stars, there is dear
+old Orion, he's my very favourite of all, I always look for him.
+And, Dono dear, while we are all alone like this I want to tell you
+something, you won't like it now, but some day I am sure you will.
+When Phœbe first told me everything it was only through you that I
+could at all understand.  I had to think first what love was, and
+what giving up was, and then I thought of you, and how you loved me
+and gave up all your life to me; no, I know you will say you didn't
+give up anything, but you have, Don, you have given up pleasure, and
+rest, and change, and all sorts of things."
+
+"But do you think I could have been happy, do you think life would
+have been tolerable if I had gone away to enjoy myself and left you
+alone?" said Donovan, hoarsely.
+
+"No, Don," she replied, nestling closer to him, "I was quite sure you
+never could, and then you see I could believe how the greatest love
+of all could not leave us."
+
+He gave a mental ejaculation of thankfulness that Doery had never
+grieved the tender little soul with her cold-blooded Calvinism.  Dear
+little girl! she was happy enough in her new convictions, he would
+not for the world have disturbed her; in the dark he even smiled a
+little to think that he had actually helped towards establishing the
+"delusion" in her mind, had helped to set up his rival.
+
+The next few days passed hopefully, Dot seemed to grow a little
+stronger again, and, as she had rallied from so many attacks, they
+all began to feel relieved, and to fancy that anxiety was over for
+the present.  There was to be a dance at the Manor on the 31st, and
+when, at Christmas, Dot had been so seriously ill, Mrs. Farrant had
+almost decided to postpone it; however, she seemed to recover
+quickly, so the arrangement was not altered, and the house was soon
+in that state of excitement and turmoil which invariably precedes any
+unusual event of the kind.  Adela Farrant was quite in her element,
+and even succeeded in stirring up Donovan to such an extent that he
+came down, from what she called his "high horse," and condescended to
+show some interest in the arrangements.  She was therefore doubly
+astonished when, about eight o'clock on the evening of the dance, she
+met him on the stairs, to find that all his interest had suddenly
+abated.
+
+"Try to get this affair over as quickly as you can," he said, as they
+passed each other.
+
+"What do you mean?" said Adela, standing still.  "You are coming
+down, are you not?"
+
+"No, I can't, it's quite impossible.  Dot is so restless and poorly,
+I'm afraid she is in for another of her bad attacks; I want you to
+get the people away as soon as may be, the noise is sure to worry
+her."
+
+"Oh! she'll be asleep before it begins," said Adela.  "No one will be
+here till nine o'clock, I should think."
+
+"Well, I hope it will be so.  It's an abominable nuisance, though,
+that the house should be all upset to-night."
+
+As he spoke, he opened the door of the little invalid's room, and
+shut himself in, while Adela passed down the stairs to the
+drawing-room, a little annoyed at what she called "Cæsar's
+desertion," and vaguely uneasy at his account of Dot.  One of the
+guests was, however, greatly relieved at his absence; Mrs. Ward
+really began to enjoy the evening when she found that the "dangerous
+young man" did not appear; she was quite content that her daughters
+should dance with Major Mackinnon and Mr. Probyn, two friends of
+Ellis Farrant's who were staying at the Manor.  They were quite
+distinguished-looking men; Mrs. Ward was glad that her girls should
+have such nice partners, and remained in happy ignorance that they
+were in reality characters beside whom the poor black sheep of
+Oakdene would have become almost white in contrast.
+
+Meanwhile, in the room above, Dot was in that state of strange,
+restless misery which always preceded her attacks--A sort of
+anticipation of the pain.  This was the time when her courage was
+most apt to fail; she could not bear the thought of the suffering
+beforehand, though, when it actually came, she was always brave and
+patient.  In vain did Donovan try every possible means of sending her
+to sleep.  Every preventative which the doctors had ordered to be
+tried at such times had of course been brought to bear upon the poor
+little girl, but to-night nothing seemed to have any effect.  Donovan
+read to her, played to her, told her story after story, but she grew
+rapidly worse, and they at length realised that some fresh form of
+illness must have set in; much as she had suffered, she had never
+been in such terrible pain before.  Old Mrs. Doery, who had nursed
+her through so many illnesses, was summoned at once, and the younger
+nurse went downstairs to find a messenger who could be sent for the
+doctor.  The house, however, was all in confusion, and in a few
+minutes Phœbe returned in despair; the other servants were too
+busy to go; she could not even persuade any of the servants of the
+guests to ride over to Greyshot with the message.
+
+"This miserable dance!" exclaimed Donovan, angrily.  "Well, I must go
+myself, then; I shall be quicker than any of those lazy knaves."
+
+But Dot clung to him.
+
+"It is so hard to bear without you.  I will be good if it's really
+best, but--but----"
+
+It cost him a hard struggle to decide, but, knowing that an unwilling
+messenger would be slow, he felt that the only sure way was to go
+himself; there was no time to be lost.  He bent down to kiss the poor
+little quivering lips, and said, very gently and firmly,
+
+"It _is_ best, darling.  Be brave; I shall not be long."
+
+She tried to smile, and he hurried away, sick at heart.  Rushing
+headlong downstairs, snatching up his hat from the stand, brushing
+past some astonished visitors, he ran at full speed to the stables,
+saddled the cob with his own hands, and in five minutes was on the
+road to Greyshot.  He had dashed out from the heated room just as he
+was; the night was piercingly cold, the snow was falling fast, and
+the north wind blew the flakes into his eyes, so that he was almost
+blinded by them; he shivered from head to foot, but did not know that
+he shivered--all that he felt was an overwhelming anxiety and dread.
+What if he should never see Dot again?  The extraordinary severity
+and suddenness of this illness had alarmed them all--what if she sank
+under it?  And he had refused her last entreaty!  Oh! bitter agony,
+what if he reached home too late!  "Too late! too late!"  The very
+sound of the horse's hoofs echoed his fears, the muffled footfall as
+they galloped on over the snowy road.  And yet it was the only sure
+way of getting the doctor; he knew he had been right to come; it
+might--it was just possible that it might save Dot some minutes of
+pain--it might save her life.  But again his heart sank down like
+lead under the oppression of the one horrible fear.  That ride was
+ever after a sort of nightmare recollection to him.
+
+At last he thought it was ended; he sprang down at the door of the
+doctor's house and rang furiously.  The footman appeared in answer.
+
+"Dr. L---- was dining at Monklands."
+
+Monklands was about two miles on the other side of Greyshot.
+
+Poor Donovan rode on almost despairingly, cursing his cruel fate.  It
+was half-past ten by the time he reached the house; then, to his
+relief, he saw that Dr. L----'s carriage was standing at the door.
+He would not dismount; the doctor came out to him at once, and, on
+hearing his account of Dot, prepared to come to her directly, left a
+hurried message of farewell to his host, and springing into his
+carriage, drove home, promising to come on to the Manor as quickly as
+possible.
+
+Donovan had neither whip nor spurs, but he had what is far more
+efficacious--the power of communicating his thoughts to animals; the
+cob seemed to gather from the feeling of his hand on her neck, from
+his occasional ejaculations, all the anxiety of this ride.  In spite
+of the deep snow, he galloped on bravely; on through the open
+country, through the silent Greyshot streets, along the white
+deserted road, till at length the lights of the Manor shone out
+through the branches of the ghostly-looking oak-trees, the bright
+lights in the lower windows, and the dim light in the upper room.
+Donovan's heart gave a great bound when he heard in the distance the
+music of the string quartette and the sound of dancing.  It was well
+with Dot then!  In common decency the house would have been in
+silence if his fears had been realised.  Forgetful of everything but
+the one absorbing interest, he dashed into the house, through the
+hall and up the broad staircase; Miss Ward and her partner, who were
+pacing up and down in the cool, stared at the sudden apparition with
+its snowy garments and strained expectant face; he never even saw
+them, but, hurrying on, threw aside his wet clothes, and in five
+minutes had reached Dot's room.  As he opened the door two sounds
+mingled for an instant in his ear.  From below came the sound of the
+"grand chain" in the "Lancers," and from the sick-bed came a low
+sobbing moan.  Phœbe was saying something to the little girl; he
+caught the words of one of her favourite hymns--
+
+  "We may not know, we cannot tell,
+  What pains He had to bear."
+
+Dot saw him in a minute and gave a relieved exclamation.
+
+"Oh!  Dono, I'm so glad you are back; I've wanted you so dreadfully.
+Let me hold your hands."
+
+His face, which had been rigid during the time of his anxiety, was
+changed now to the look of tenderness and even cheerfulness, which he
+had learnt to wear when with the little girl.
+
+"Dr. L---- will be here almost directly, and then he will make you
+more comfortable," he said, taking his place at the bedside.
+
+"Oh!  Dono," she gasped, "sometimes I think I shall never be
+comfortable any more."
+
+"You thought so last time you were ill," said Donovan, soothingly,
+"and then after all you had some quiet days."
+
+"Yes, but this is worse.  Oh, Dono, Dono!" and again she broke into
+that wail of pain which pierced the hearts of the watchers.  Donovan
+was the only one who never lost his control; he was always ready with
+quiet, tender words; sometimes when the pain was lulled for a few
+minutes he would even make the little girl smile.
+
+At last the doctor came, and Donovan waited in fearful suspense for
+his opinion; he waited outside the room in the gallery, pacing up and
+down miserably, feeling chafed and annoyed by the laughter and noise
+which reached his ears from below.  After some time Dr. L---- came
+out, with a face which only too fully confirmed his fears.
+
+"Cannot this noise be stopped?" he asked, a little impatiently.
+
+"It _shall_ be," said Donovan, with bitter earnestness.  "She is in
+danger, as I thought?"
+
+"Yes," said Dr. L----.  "Mrs. Farrant ought to be told at once."
+
+"You mean that--that the end is near?" questioned Donovan, startled,
+in spite of his forebodings.
+
+"It is an acute attack of inflammation; I am afraid she must sink
+under it," replied the doctor, gravely.
+
+Without a word Donovan went slowly down the stairs to the room where
+the dancing was going on.  A Highland reel had just begun; the tune
+"Tullochgorum" rang in his head for weeks after.  The greater number
+of the guests were looking on at the dancers.  Donovan saw that his
+mother was quite at the other end of the room, and, as he was
+arranging how best to reach her, Ellis caught sight of him and
+hurried towards the place where he was standing.
+
+"How now, Donovan, come to dance after all, and in that old
+shooting-coat?"
+
+"You must stop this; Dot is ill," said Donovan, in a hollow voice.
+
+"My dear fellow, you ask impossibilities; one can't turn away seventy
+guests at a moment's notice."
+
+"She is dying," said Donovan, and the words sounded strangely out of
+place in the midst of all the gaiety and merriment.
+
+"_Dying!_" echoed Ellis, startled and shocked.  At an ordinary time
+he would have enjoyed the opportunity of thwarting and annoying his
+step-son; only a moment ago and something of this sort had been in
+his intentions, but that one word scattered all mean and unkind
+thoughts; before the angel of death even this selfish and dishonest
+man became softened and awed.
+
+"I will arrange it; the music shall of course be stopped," he said,
+in really kind tones.
+
+Donovan thanked him, and asked him to tell Mrs. Farrant, and Ellis at
+once complied, crossing the room to the place where his wife was
+talking with the squire, and telling her that she must speak to
+Donovan for a moment outside.
+
+She was so completely overcome by the unexpected news that Donovan
+was almost in despair.  To be kept away from Dot was terrible, and
+yet he could not leave his mother in her distress.  Speaking with the
+perfect gentleness and control which seemed specially given to him
+that night, he at last persuaded her to come and see the little girl,
+overruling the sobbing, shrinking appeal, "that it was so terrible,
+so sad--and she couldn't bear to go in that dress."
+
+But a very few minutes beside the poor little child's bed proved too
+much for Mrs. Farrant's powers of endurance.  The sight of her
+suffering was indeed terribly painful, and with a mother's
+instinctive love awakening in her heart, but without a mother's long
+training in self-denial and devotion, Mrs. Farrant naturally could
+not control herself in the least; she burst into tears, agitated Dot,
+and had at last to be taken from the room.
+
+"I love her so," she said, piteously, to Donovan, as he half carried
+her along the gallery, and helped her on to her sofa.
+
+He bent down and kissed her.
+
+"You will come in again when you can?" he said.  "We will tell you
+when there is any change."
+
+Adela came in while he was speaking, and he left her with Mrs.
+Farrant, and hastily returned to the sick-room.  Dot was now growing
+delirious with the pain, but, though she could not bear anyone else
+even to touch the bed-clothes, she liked him to hold her hand, and
+her unconscious words were always spoken to him.  The solemn midnight
+was undisturbed by music or merriment; instead of dancing the old
+year out and the new year in, the guests were driving sadly from the
+Manor.  Dot was moaning in the last sharp struggle of her little
+life, and Donovan was watching beside her in anguish which could only
+have been suppressed by the purest and truest love.
+
+There was not the smallest hope now.  The long night hours dragged
+slowly on, the death-agony grew more and more intense, and the doctor
+could do absolutely nothing to lessen the pain.  Poor old Mrs. Doery
+quite broke down, and sat rocking herself to and fro with her face
+buried in her apron.  Phœbe, with a white face, stood ready to do
+whatever she was told.  Donovan, never once faltering, bore up with
+what the doctor described afterwards as "really extraordinary
+fortitude, almost as if the poor little girl's death would not be
+such a dreadful blow to him."  In reality, he was so absorbed in her
+that he had not a thought to spare for the future, and while he was
+near her it was absolutely necessary that he should be perfectly
+quiet and controlled.
+
+Once, for a few minutes, however, the doctor asked him to leave the
+room, and then his strong will gave way.  Ellis had left Adela with
+his wife, and, unable to go to bed, had stretched himself on a sofa
+which, in the general disarrangement of the house, had been placed at
+the end of the gallery; he was beginning to get drowsy when the
+opening of a door roused him.  Was it all over, he wondered!  He sat
+up and listened.  A terrible cry of anguish in a wailing, child's
+voice told him that Dot still lived.  Then for the first time he
+noticed that, in the dim light, a few paces from him stood Donovan.
+He, too, must have been listening, for he made a half-choked
+exclamation as the sound reached him, and staggering forward, not
+noticing his step-father, sat down on a chair near him, and with his
+arms stretched across the table, and his head buried, gave way to an
+overwhelming burst of grief.  Ellis was really touched, and almost
+infected too.  Instinctively he tried to show his sympathy.
+
+"Donovan, my poor fellow, don't give way.  While there's life there's
+hope, you know."
+
+"I wish she were dead," he groaned; "out of the pain."
+
+"But she may get better," suggested Ellis.
+
+"No," he answered, with a great sob which shook his whole frame,
+"it's only a question of hours--hours of torture!"
+
+Then springing up in a sort of frenzy, and dashing the tears from his
+eyes, he seized hold of Ellis's arm.
+
+"Here! you who believe in a God--get down on your knees and pray for
+her--pray that she may die!"
+
+Without waiting for an answer from the astonished Ellis, he turned to
+the window, tore back the curtain, threw open the casement, and leant
+out into the black night.  Somewhere, somewhere in that yawning space
+there surely must be a Power who could help him in his fearful need!
+His whole heart went out in a passionate cry to the vast unknown.
+
+"God!  God!  Exist!  Be!  Stop this agony!  Let her die!  What good
+can it possibly do?  Let her die!"
+
+It was the first prayer he had ever prayed.
+
+There was a touch upon his arm, he turned and saw Phœbe standing
+beside him.
+
+"Miss Dot is asking for you, sir, but won't you take something before
+you go back?"
+
+He shook his head, but, as he passed Ellis, asked him to give
+Phœbe and Mrs. Doery some wine.  Then he went back to the
+sick-room, composed his face with an effort, and resumed his place
+beside Dot.
+
+"Dono, talk to me," was the very first request, and he did talk
+bravely and soothingly, in the continuous way which Dot always liked.
+Taciturn and unimaginative as he really was, he had long ago learnt
+to overcome all his natural difficulties, and utterly to disregard
+his own tastes and inclinations when Dot was in any way concerned.
+
+At last the pain grew less severe, the poor exhausted little life
+began to ebb away fast.  When the longed-for relief came, Donovan
+knew that the end was very near.  He breathed more freely.
+
+"The pain is all gone," whispered Dot, after a long quiet interval,
+"will it never come again?  Is it gone for always, Dono?"
+
+"Yes, darling, I think quite gone," he replied; his dreary creed did
+not allow him to say more.
+
+"It is so comfortable," she murmured, drowsily.
+
+Before long Mrs. Farrant and Adela were summoned, and Ellis too came
+in, and kissed the little worn face, and poor Waif crept after them
+all, Donovan lifting him up that Dot's hand might stroke his head for
+the last time.
+
+By-and-by the room was quiet again, only Donovan, the two nurses, and
+the doctor stayed to watch the end.  The perfect silence was at last
+interrupted, a sudden shiver passed through the little wasted form.
+
+"I am so cold, Dono," she murmured, moving her hands nervously about
+the coverlet, "put your arm round me again; oh! it is getting so
+dark, hold me, Dono, hold me!  Is it wrong to be so frightened?"
+
+"I am holding you, darling," he replied, "there is nothing to fear."
+
+But the words died from his cold lips as he uttered them, he felt
+that he could not comfort her, that she was beyond his help; and her
+next words seemed to pierce his heart.
+
+"I can't feel your arms, Dono, I can't see you."
+
+A stifled moan escaped him, he bent low over her, and again and again
+kissed her cold damp brow.
+
+"I did not mean to vex you, darling," she gasped, "it will be better
+soon, perhaps.  Say me the hymn about the light."
+
+He repeated Newman's "Lead, kindly Light," which, for some unknown
+reason, had always been a great favourite with Dot, he knew it
+perfectly well, and would, of course, have said anything to please
+her, nor did he feel what a hideous mockery the words were to him, he
+was too completely absorbed in thinking of her.  After he had
+finished the hymn, there was a long pause during which her breathing
+became more and more difficult.  Donovan's whole being seemed to live
+with each effort, he too drew each breath slowly and painfully.  But
+there came a respite before long, the light did shine through the
+gloom, and a look of almost baby-like peace stole over Dot's troubled
+face.  She did not speak a word, it never had been her way to say
+very much, but by-and-by Donovan overheard faint half-dreamy
+whispers, and knew that she was speaking with a little child's
+confidence to God.
+
+"You will comfort Dono, won't you, and we will be all quite happy
+together."
+
+The words died away into indistinct murmurs, she sank into a
+painless, half unconscious state.
+
+It was not till this time that one thought of himself came to trouble
+Donovan, but as he knelt by the bedside, with Dot's head resting on
+his arm, as he listened to--almost counted--the sighing breaths, his
+desolation broke upon him.  In a few minutes all that to him made
+life worth living would have passed away for ever!  Death, to him
+truly the king of terrors, was here at the bedside, and he was
+powerless, helpless, he could only wait for the grim unknown to
+snatch little Dot away--away into a forever of nothingness!  His
+brain reeled at the thought, he could not control the shuddering
+agony which made his limbs almost powerless and brought to his strong
+firm face a pallor almost as deathly as that of the little dying
+child.
+
+"You had better rest a minute," said the doctor.  "It is too much for
+you."
+
+But the thought of losing even one of those precious last minutes--of
+resigning his place to another--seemed intolerable.  He signed a
+negative with some impatience, raised Dot a little higher, smoothed
+back the hair from her cold forehead, and waited, trying to control
+the trembling which might disturb her, to regulate the half-choked
+gasping breaths which would agitate his whole frame.
+
+Then came an unconquerable longing for one more word from her, one
+more recognizing look.  The struggle between this desire and his
+unwillingness to break in upon the comparative peace of her last
+moments grew to anguish; passionate entreaties rose to his lips, and
+were only checked by the fiercest effort of will, wild impossible
+longings surged up in his heart, and above all was a fearful
+realisation that the time was short, that minutes, perhaps seconds,
+were all that was left to him.
+
+But the spiritual current of sympathy which had united the two in
+life was as strong as ever, they had been all in all to each other,
+and even now, in the very moment of death, little Dot felt
+instinctively that Donovan wanted her.
+
+Half rousing herself from the state of dreamy peace she had fallen
+into, she felt for his face, drew it nearer to hers, and, with long
+pauses between the words, whispered,
+
+"I've asked to be quite near you still.  I think God will let me.  He
+is so very good, you know--you will know."
+
+That perfect confidence of hers made death a happy thing.  In her
+untroubled child-like faith she had no manner of doubt that the
+Father who loved them both so dearly would one day teach Donovan what
+His love was.
+
+A minute after came a scarcely audible request.
+
+"Kiss me, Dono."
+
+He folded his arms round her, and pressed his cold lips to hers; in
+another moment a shudder passing through the little frame told him
+that he was alone in the world.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+DESOLATE.
+
+          Then black despair,
+  The shadow of a starless night was thrown
+  Over the world in which I moved alone.
+                                    SHELLEY.
+
+  Truth's golden o'er us although we refuse it.
+                                  E. BROWNING.
+
+
+Great sorrows affect people so differently that it is often hard to
+know how to sympathise with those in trouble, the spoken words of
+comfort which may soothe one person may simply torture another, the
+reverential silence congenial to some seems cruelly cold to others.
+Grief, too, falls in so many different ways; to some it comes like a
+heavy physical blow, the bitterness of the pain, the shock to the
+whole system is so great, that for a time the senses fail, and a
+merciful unconsciousness and a faint, gradual return to life lessen
+to some extent the first anguish of suffering.  To some sorrow comes
+piercingly, their imagination--all their faculties--seem for the time
+quickened by the pain, memories of the past crowd around them,
+visions of a barren future stretch out before their aching eyes, and
+this in the very first moments of their sorrow; grief is to them a
+sharp-edged sword, laying bare in an instant the very fibres of their
+being.
+
+But there are others to whom sorrow comes in a more awful form, the
+blow falls on them, but no momentary unconsciousness comes to their
+relief, they do not sink under their load of pain, but stagger on in
+dull hopelessness; they may be spared the sharp realisation of the
+grief which pierces the heart, but their case seems more pitiable;
+for, instead of struggling from the depths of woe to calmness and
+peace, they labour on with a terrible weight on their hearts, a
+weight which numbs the faculties, and crushes the bearer into "dull
+despair."  And then, as nature re-asserts herself, and the
+perceptions regain their vividness, a fearful re-action sets in, the
+despair deepens, the weight of woe becomes each day heavier to bear;
+this is the stony sorrow which human sympathy seems utterly powerless
+to reach, and which finds no outlet.
+
+And yet the "All ye that labour and are heavy laden," has for
+hundreds of years brought to the world's Consoler those who are most
+borne down--most crushed by their grief.
+
+Donovan knew the invitation well enough, but these things were to him
+as "idle tales;" to his suffering there was no relief because he
+would not stretch out his hand to take: he was as much alone as it is
+possible for any of us to be alone.  A child may utterly refuse
+obedience to its father, may reject all love, in its ignorance may
+even refuse to believe in the love.  Strong in its rebellion, it may
+shut itself away, bolting and barring the door upon the love that
+would seek it out; but, though it may refuse to remove the barrier,
+the father is still the father, and though the child cannot see how
+true and real his love is, because of the obstacle it has with its
+own hand raised between them, the strong love will surely never rest
+until it has conquered the child, and shown it its mistake; nor is it
+ever really alone--the barrier is only a barrier.
+
+Donovan had thus shut himself into himself; with the dead calm of a
+worn-out body and an utterly despairing heart, he closed the door of
+Dot's room behind him, and with slow, dull, spiritless steps walked
+along the gallery.  Ellis was standing in the doorway of his
+dressing-room; he came forward as his step-son passed, but the
+question he would have put died on his lips as he looked at Donovan's
+rigid face.  He shuddered as the hollow, unnatural voice uttered the
+words he had expected, but had not dared to ask for--"She is dead!"
+
+Ellis had not very often visited his little step-daughter's room;
+every now and then he had bought some trifling present for her, or
+had sent her a message by Donovan, and occasionally he had spent a
+few minutes beside her sofa, partly because he was anxious to keep up
+appearances, and wished the household to think him a worthy successor
+to Colonel Farrant, partly because of the real good nature which
+still to some extent guided his actions.  His sorrow at her death was
+more genuine than might have been expected, and he had enough
+sympathy with Donovan not to torment him with common-place
+condolences, but to let him pass by in silence, feeling rightly
+enough that he was the last person who could venture to approach his
+grief.  He waited until the door of his step-son's room had closed
+behind him, spoke a few words to the doctor, and then with rather
+hesitating steps went to Adela's room to tell her the news.  At his
+knock she came to the door; she was wrapped in her dressing-gown, and
+her hair was loose and disordered.  Ellis thought she had never
+looked so old before; her greyness and wrinkles, which he had never
+noticed, showed plainly enough now that she was _en déshabillé_; she
+looked what in truth she was, a middle-aged woman, and Ellis, who
+could not bear to face the fact that both he and his sister were no
+longer young, shivered a little.  Did not each advancing year bring
+them nearer to the dreariness of old age, and, what was worse, nearer
+to the terrors of death!  Death was an awful thing, and death was in
+the house at that very moment.
+
+"What is it?" asked Adela--"is it all over?"
+
+"Yes, it is over," he replied, gravely.  "I must tell poor Honora.
+Come with me, Adela; she is so exhausted, I am half afraid how she
+will bear it."
+
+"Other people may be exhausted too," said Adela, rather sharply.
+"What has become of Donovan?  He has been in there all night."
+
+"He has gone to his room.  I was afraid to speak to him, he looked--I
+can't tell you how he looked.  Yes, go to him, if you like, but you
+won't do him any good, poor fellow.  It must have been an awful
+night."
+
+Adela was thoroughly kind-hearted; she hurried at once towards
+Donovan's room, not allowing her natural shrinking from the sight of
+pain to hinder her an instant.  It was certainly a relief, when she
+had received the word of admittance, to find that no spectacle of
+overpowering grief was to meet her gaze.  The room was very cold and
+almost dark; a faint glimmer of light from the window, and the
+outline of a figure with the head drooped low, showed her where her
+cousin was.  She groped her way towards him, her misgivings returning
+when he still did not speak or stir.
+
+"Donovan," she said, with quick anxiety in her tone, "is anything the
+matter with you?  Are you faint?"
+
+Her words surprised him; he mused over them half curiously before
+replying.  How strange it was to be asked if anything were the matter
+when he was simply crushed!  And yet perhaps, in a sense, nothing was
+the matter--nothing mattered at all now that Dot was dead.  And Dot
+was dead, she had passed away for ever.
+
+"Donovan," pleaded Adela, "do speak to me--do break this dreadful
+silence!"
+
+"She is dead," he replied, slowly, and then again his head drooped,
+and there was another long pause.
+
+The window was wide open.  The icy night air made Adela shiver; she
+looked from the faint grey sky to the snowy earth, and then in
+despair she looked back to her cousin's face, which, though
+indistinctly seen in the dim light, was evidently as cold and still
+as marble.  The tears rose to her eyes and overflowed as she felt her
+utter powerlessness to relieve that stony sorrow.  A half-stifled
+shivering sob roused Donovan at last.
+
+"You are cold," he said, still in the same terribly hollow voice, and
+then he moved forward and shut the window.
+
+She was now so thoroughly frightened by the strangeness of his manner
+that she lost all control over herself, and it was, after all,
+Donovan who had to quiet her grief.
+
+"Why do you cry?" he said.  "The pain is over for her, all is over;
+after all, it is only ourselves who suffer.  One can endure a great
+deal, and sooner or later we too shall die think of the peace of that
+nothingness!"
+
+"Oh, don't say such terrible things!" said Adela, shuddering and
+sobbing still more violently.
+
+"It is my one comfort," he said; "but you, with the belief you
+profess, can need no comfort from such as I--your beautiful legends
+should comfort you."
+
+"Yes, yes," she answered; "only it is so hard to be resigned.  But,
+Donovan, I did not mean to be so weak; I wanted to be of use to you,
+indeed I did, and I have worried instead of comforted you."
+
+"You have been very kind," he said, in a more natural tone; "but
+there is only one comfort, and I have told you what that is."  Then,
+as she started with a sudden new terror, he put his cold hand on hers
+and added, "No, you need not be afraid; death is the comfort, but I
+shall not seek death in the way you fear--that is a cowardly thing to
+do.  You need not think I shall try that way to rest."
+
+"But is there nothing I can do for you?" asked Adela, awed and
+quieted by his strange manner.
+
+"I should like you to go to my mother," he replied, without any
+hesitation.
+
+Adela looked again at the white, stony face, but it was perfectly
+resolute, and she had no choice but to obey.  With a heavy heart she
+went to see the other mourner, and tried to soothe the passionate
+weeping and bitter remorse of the mother.
+
+The interview with his cousin had in some degree roused Donovan; he
+could not sink back to the state of lethargy in which she had found
+him.  His power of realisation had to some extent returned, and the
+dead calm gave place to restlessness.  He paced up and down the room
+with unsteady steps, then, chafed by the narrowness of the space, he
+opened his door and wandered along the gallery, down the stairs, and
+through the deserted rooms below.  Everything had an utterly desolate
+look; the faint morning light revealed the drooping wreaths and
+decorations, the remains of the candles, which had guttered down into
+shapeless masses of wax, looked grotesquely forlorn, while the
+supper-room, with its disordered table and its profusion of fruit and
+flowers, was perhaps the most dreary-looking of all.  The effect of
+the whole to Donovan seemed simply ghastly; "The Reel of
+Tullochgorum" rang in his ears, recalling all its miserable adjuncts,
+the noise of the gay crowd, the scraping and twanging of the
+instruments, above all, Dot's cries of anguish--those heart-piercing
+cries which were to haunt him for months.
+
+By-and-by, as the daylight increased, the household began to stir; a
+maid-servant came into the drawing-room and re-arranged and dusted
+the furniture, from time to time casting half timid half
+compassionate glances at the restless figure pacing to and fro; doors
+were opened and shut, a general sound of sweeping and moving
+furniture made itself heard, a clatter of cups and saucers; bells
+were rung, footsteps hurried to and fro; Major Mackinnon's voice was
+heard asking for his boots.  There was something awful in this
+business-like rebeginning of life.  Dot was dead, yet for him life
+must go on in the old grooves,
+
+  "Evening must usher night, night urge the morrow,
+  Month follow month with woe, and year wake year to sorrow."
+
+
+The common-place bustle, the vision which had crossed his mind of the
+long barren years became at last intolerable.  He hastened up the
+stairs once more, and from the force of long habit found himself on
+the way to Dot's room.  The blinds were down; the cool green light
+quieted his restless impatient movements.  He closed the door, and
+stole with hushed steps to the bedside.  Then the forlornness of his
+grief broke upon him fully.  No eager welcome from the soft, childish
+voice, no loving look from the dark eyes, no arms stretched out to
+cling round his neck, but only a motionless silent outline beneath
+the white sheet.  He could not look at the veiled face, he turned
+away and threw himself on the ground in a terrible, silent agony.
+
+After a time, the quietness of the room began to influence him.  Only
+a few hours before it had been the scene of such weary suffering that
+the peacefulness of the present could not but seem doubly striking.
+The peace of non-existence!  He hugged the thought to his heart, and
+in thinking of it forgot for the time his own pain.  Then he slowly
+dragged himself up, and kneeling by the bed, drew aside the sheet.
+Nothing could have softened his suffering so completely as the sight
+which met his gaze.  The beautiful little face seemed only a degree
+more pale and waxen than in life; the forehead, no longer contracted
+with pain, gleamed white and serene and starlike; the brown hair lay
+lightly on the pillow, the pale still lips smiled, the tiny thin
+hands were folded in solemn repose.  How long he knelt silently
+beside her he never knew.  He was roused at last by old Mrs. Doery.
+She came in, wiping her eyes with her apron, and for a minute stood
+at the foot of the bed, watching the two children whom she had
+brought up--the dead and the living.  Perhaps the sight of the living
+one touched her heart the more keenly, for there was an unwonted
+tenderness in her manner as she addressed him.
+
+"I was looking for you, Mr. Donovan," she said, putting her hand on
+his shoulder.  "It's time you took some rest.  You must be worn out."
+
+Worn out!  Ah! no.  How he wished he had been!  But he did not resist
+her when she urged him to go to his room.  The quiet, passive,
+painless state he was in led him to acquiesce in anything.  Later on,
+Ellis came to him, offering to see to all the necessary arrangements;
+he thanked him quietly, and consented.  Then Adela came and begged
+him to see his mother, and he went for a little while to his mother's
+room, and described everything which had happened on the previous
+night, tranquilly, almost coldly.  So the day passed on, and night
+came.  The household was still once more, all were sleeping quietly;
+only Donovan lay with wide-open eyes, staring out at the black night,
+counting the hours mechanically as they passed, wondering now and
+then if he still lived, if this strange, numb passiveness were life
+at all.
+
+The next two days went on in much the same way.  The funeral was to
+be on the Saturday; on the Friday morning Donovan's unnatural calm
+began to give way.  He had now been four nights without sleep, and
+the dull weight, the numbness of stifled pain was beginning to tell
+on him.  When, on that day, he went as usual to Dot's room to gaze on
+the one sight which had served to comfort him, he received a sudden
+shock.  The first great beauty of death had faded gradually, but, as
+that morning he gazed down on the tranquil face, he saw for the first
+time the faint evidences of mortality.  The sight seemed to pierce
+his heart; he rushed away wildly, as though to escape from his grief;
+he paced with desperate steps up and down his room, trying in vain to
+forget what he had seen, trying to assure himself that it would not,
+could not be.  "Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."  The
+bitterness of the verdict was almost unbearable, for to him the
+perishable body was all that was left; unspeakably dear as it must be
+to all, it had to him a tenfold preciousness.  His grief bordered so
+nearly on madness that everyone began to shrink from him in terror,
+and all that terrible day he was alone, now battling with his
+anguish, trying in vain to govern himself--now allowing his crazy
+sorrow to drive him as it pleased.  At length, when night was
+come--the last night before Dot was to be borne away from him to the
+churchyard--he went once more to the death-chamber.  The little white
+coffin was closed--he did not regret it; he would not look on her
+again, only his frantic pacings to and fro seemed more bearable in
+that room than in his own.  Dot's little clock chimed the hours
+softly in muffled tones, and each stroke seemed to fall with
+knife-like sharpness on his heart.  Time had ceased for her, but for
+him it went on, wearily, ceaselessly.  That was the only distinct
+thought which continually surged in upon him.  "My days go on.  My
+days go on."
+
+At last with a feverish craving for air he threw open the window, and
+leaned out into the cold still winter night.  A winding sheet of snow
+on the earth, purple black heavens, and stars shining out gloriously
+in the frosty atmosphere met his gaze.  All was grand and peaceful,
+all contrasted strangely with his mad, fevered agony.  He grew more
+quiet.  Orion gleamed down on him pityingly, a child's voice
+whispered from the past, "He is my very favourite of all."  Were the
+soft dark eyes watching him perhaps in his anguish? was the happy
+free spirit near him?  Would all--every comfort be denied him because
+in his ignorance and self-reliance he refused to believe?
+
+He shut the window once more, stood quietly for a minute beside the
+coffin, then stretched himself out on the hearthrug, and, before the
+little clock chimed again, was sleeping profoundly.  The only comfort
+he was capable of receiving was given him--a night of unbroken rest,
+a short lull from his despair.
+
+That sleep saved him; the terrible strain of his attendance on Dot,
+his hopeless sorrow and long wakeful nights, had brought him to the
+very verge of serious illness; when he awoke late on the following
+morning, his mind had recovered its balance, he was sufficiently
+strengthened to take up his heavy load of sorrow and bear it
+manfully.  Ellis and Adela were unspeakably relieved, when they met
+him, to find bow great a change the night had wrought, the stony want
+of realisation, the frenzy of overpowering grief, had given place to
+a more natural sorrow, he looked indeed very much as usual only that
+all his former characteristics seemed deepened, the mouth looked a
+little more bitter, the eyes more despairing and contradictory to the
+rest of the face, the curious brow had more of what Dot had called
+its "battered" look, the whole expression was sterner and older.
+
+For the first time he came down to breakfast and took his usual place
+at the table, perhaps anxious to face the rest of the party before
+the funeral, or with a sort of desire to go through with everything
+properly.  They were all very kind to him, there is enough of good in
+most people to make them compassionate to great grief--for a time.
+As they left the breakfast-room a servant met them carrying some
+beautiful hot-house flowers.
+
+"From Mrs. Ward, sir," she said, putting into Donovan's hands a card
+with, "kind enquiries and sympathy."
+
+He looked at it for a moment, then threw it aside with bitterness
+which astonished Adela, and said in his most chilling tone,
+
+"It is too late now."
+
+"No, I think there will be room," said Adela, misunderstanding him,
+"we have a great number of wreaths, but I think I can arrange these
+flowers."
+
+"The world's sympathy!" he replied, bitterly, clenching and
+unclenching his hands rapidly, as was his habit when strongly
+agitated, "never to come near her in all those years of suffering,
+but to send a showy wreath for her coffin."
+
+"Would you rather they were not used?" asked Adela, doubtfully.
+
+"Oh! let us take what we can get from the sympathising world," he
+answered, "rate it at what it's worth, only don't ask me to be
+grateful."  And then with a fierce sigh he turned away.
+
+The day was clear, bright, and frosty, the little churchyard at
+Oakdene was crowded with people, for poor little Dot's death had
+awakened sympathy which her life had failed to win; rumours had got
+about that the funeral was to be a choral one, and all the
+acquaintances of the Farrants who had been at the interrupted dance
+drove to the little country church to "show their respect" to the
+dead and the living, while many of the Greyshot townspeople walked
+over either from curiosity, or from that love of a pathetic sight
+which is latent in not a few hearts.
+
+The sun shone brightly down on the snow-covered graves, on the throng
+of spectators, on the clergyman and the choristers, the rays fell too
+on the white pall laden with wreaths, on the black dresses of the
+mourners, and on Donovan's stern hopeless face.  He would willingly
+have dispensed with the service, which was to him only a mockery, but
+the arrangement of all had helped to cheer Mrs. Farrant, and as long
+as he could see the last of the little coffin he was willing that the
+others should gratify their taste, and gather round Dot's grave with
+prayers and hymns and flowers.  Gravely he followed the choir into
+the church, gravely sat in the pew while the last strains of the hymn
+were sung; the other mourners knelt for a minute, he was too honest
+to do that, but the consistency of an atheist rarely receives
+anything but hard words, and all the spectators were inexpressibly
+shocked.
+
+He was far too miserable to notice the looks of shrinking aversion or
+righteous indignation which some of the congregation turned on him as
+the procession passed out to the grave, but just outside the porch,
+in a momentary pause, one whispered sentence fell on his ear.
+
+"Oh, no; atheists are always hard and unfeeling!"
+
+He could not help knowing that the words bore reference to him; their
+injustice stung him a little, and he became conscious that the eyes
+turned on him were hostile and unsympathising--became indeed aware
+for the first time that the churchyard was crowded.  Well, it would
+soon be over.  He heard nothing more till the sound of the earth
+falling on the coffin roused him from his own thoughts; then with a
+sudden pang and shudder he caught the words--"Earth to earth, ashes
+to ashes, dust to dust"--and he was one of the "men without hope."
+
+The people bowed their heads as the clergyman read the closing
+prayers, but Donovan, with a wild look in his eyes, stood erect and
+motionless; his one longing was for solitude, and when, after the
+benediction, another hymn was given out, he felt that he could bear
+up no longer.  Turning rapidly away he strode through the staring
+crowd.  What did it matter if his action were misinterpreted?  What
+did he care if the general sense of decorum was offended?  It
+mattered little, for whatever he did was sure to be considered the
+wrong thing!  "Dust to dust."  How the words haunted him!  Oh, to get
+away somewhere from his anguish--away from the cruel world with its
+harsh judgments, to lose himself in darkness!  He rushed on wildly
+through the churchyard, past the long line of carriages, along the
+snowy road to the Manor.  He was mad enough and miserable enough for
+any desperate deed, but whatever his intentions had been they were
+frustrated, for his physical strength gave way; he sank down
+exhausted on the floor of a little arbour in the Manor grounds.
+
+He was roused at length by a soft stir in the place; then came a low
+whine, and looking up, he saw Waif beside him, his round brown eyes
+full of tears.
+
+"Ah! you understand, do you, old fellow?" he exclaimed, faintly.
+
+He allowed the dog to lick his face and hands for a minute or two,
+then, as the carriages were heard in the drive, he started up; he
+knew that Dr. L---- and one or two other visitors would return to
+lunch, and, though he shrank painfully from seeing them, he felt that
+he ought to go in.  Waif's loving devotion had soothed him.  Ashamed
+of the cowardly longing to end his life which had almost overmastered
+him, he struggled to his feet, patted the dog, and made his way to
+the drawing-room, there to do what he felt to be his duty in the way
+of talking to the visitors.  Well for the world that it is not all
+made up of logically consistent men and women, well at any rate for
+the Donovans of the world that there are children and dumb animals
+who love and sympathise without question, without reservation.
+
+Blessed little Waif!  You have done a better day's work than all the
+throng of people in the church and churchyard, you have been the
+saving of your master.  There is indeed One
+
+  "Who by low creatures leads to heights of love."
+
+So, Waif, take courage and keep your eyes open, this is your day; men
+have for the present little to say to Donovan, they shrink from him:
+it is clearly intended that you should see to him, and in doing so
+you will be following in the steps of those other dogs who tended the
+deserted beggar as he lay at the rich man's gate.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+WISHES AND CHESTNUT ROASTING.
+
+  The possible stands by us ever fresh,
+  Fairer than aught which any life hath owned.
+  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
+  A healthful hunger for the great idea,
+  The beauty and the blessedness of life.
+              _Gladys and her Island._  J. INGELOW.
+
+
+The school-room at Trenant was quite the favourite room in the whole
+house.  In summer time its two French windows, opening on to the
+lawn, gave a cool out of door feeling, and, if you are obliged to
+spend a lovely June morning in the house, it is some consolation to
+have Nature brought as near to you as possible; in winter its
+coziness was admitted by all, its fireplace was large and burnt
+better than any other, its half high brass fender made an enchanting
+footstool, its old-fashioned sofa was exactly the shape which tempts
+you to curl yourself up with a story-book and forget the cold, and
+its bookshelves contained such a heterogeneous assortment of volumes
+that almost everyone could find something to his or her special
+taste.  But the time most favourable of all to the school-room, was
+the time known as "blind man's holiday" in the winter; it had long
+been the favourite family gathering place, and on the afternoon of
+New Year's day--the same New Year which had brought sorrow and
+bereavement to Oakdene Manor--a very merry party had congregated
+round the hearth.  In the centre of the group knelt Gladys with one
+arm round Jackie to ward off all danger of fire accidents, and with
+the other spare hand distributing smooth, brown, hard-skinned
+chestnuts from a bag; the school-boys, home for their Christmas
+holidays, sat on the fender punching holes in the nuts before they
+were put down to roast, and Stephen Causton stood, poker in hand,
+ready to rake out the lowest bar of the grate at the last moment.  It
+was what Gladys called a "toasty" fire, not a blazing one, but a deep
+still red one which sent out as much heat as could possibly be
+desired, and cast a rich glow over wall and ceiling, making the holly
+wreaths on the picture frames shine out in bold contrast to the
+blackness of the shadows, and adding such lustre to the old green
+curtains and furniture, that their faded shabbiness was no longer
+noticeable.  The faces, too, of the little group were ruddy in the
+firelight, and the golden threads in Gladys' brown hair shone out
+brightly as she bent down over the wriggling struggling Jackie, whose
+patience was sorely tried by the slowness with which the chestnuts
+roasted.
+
+"We must take some to mother and Aunt Margaret in the drawing-room,"
+said Gladys; "how soon will they be ready, Stephen?"
+
+"Not yet; besides, I'm certain my mother wouldn't touch one," said
+Stephen, a little sulkily, "she doesn't understand that sort of
+thing."
+
+"My stars!  What, not like chestnuts!" ejaculated Bertie, with raised
+eyebrows.
+
+Gladys and Stephen laughed a little, it was not exactly the want of
+appreciation of chestnuts which had given the sullen tone to the
+assertion; Mrs. Causton's utter contempt for the things of this world
+was not a little trying to her son, and Gladys understood that it was
+this in general to which he referred.  Certainly it did seem a pity,
+she thought, that Aunt Margaret should speak so very unreservedly,
+and often so very inopportunely, about religious details, and it
+seemed strange that she did not notice how it repelled and annoyed
+her son.
+
+Stephen had left Porthkerran in the previous October, and was now
+"walking the hospitals."  The few months of London life seemed
+already to have altered him a good deal, he was older, more decided
+and opinionated, even--Gladys fancied--a little less refined than
+when he left.  But the change which she noticed chiefly in him was an
+increased dislike to Mrs. Causton's peculiar little phrases and her
+untimely allusions.  His mother worried him, and he allowed this to
+appear far too plainly.
+
+"Let us wish over them," said Jackie, meditatively, "cos you know
+it's quite the first time this year we've eaten them."
+
+"I know what the Jackal would wish for," said Bertie, teazingly,
+"he'd wish for jam at tea; wishing's awful bosh, Jackie, you mustn't
+be such a baby."
+
+The corners of Jackie's mouth were turned down ominously, and nothing
+but Gladys' promptitude averted a storm.
+
+"Nonsense, Bert, he wouldn't do anything of the kind; we shall all
+wish over them, and Jackie shall have the first that's done, because
+he's the youngest; now, Jack, a very wise wish; what is it to be?"
+
+Jackie thought for the space of thirty seconds, while he tore open
+the hot chestnut.  Then with the conscious importance of one who
+looks far into the dim future, he announced,
+
+"I wish to be a tiger-hunter in Africa, I shall not go now, I shall
+wait till I'm sixteen, then I shall be a man, and I shall shoot all
+the animals, escept a few which I shall catch with nets, and bling
+home to keep in the nursely."
+
+This wish excited a good deal of laughter, for the heroic
+tiger-hunter of the future had been known to run away from a
+good-sized dog, and the unkind brothers were sceptical as to the
+bravery his sixteen years would bring him; but Jackie gnawed his
+chestnut contentedly, and joined in the laughter.
+
+Nor did the wishes of the other boys rival his in enterprise.  Bertie
+wished to be a sailor like Dick, with a "jolly lot" of climbing to
+do.  Harold aspired to an archbishopric, because it would be "such a
+lark to be cock of the walk, and to have a big palace to live in."
+Stephen expressed a modest wish to discover something like the
+"circulation of the blood," as Harvey had done, and make himself a
+name to be remembered.
+
+Last of all came Gladys' wish, and all eyes turned upon her as she
+tossed a chestnut to and fro in her hands, and thought.  At last
+raising her face, she said,
+
+"I wish to be like the people in 'Real Folks,' who got a lot of
+little children together on Saturday afternoons, in some great, bad
+town, and gave them a 'good time.'"
+
+"Dirty little children--ugh!" exclaimed Bertie, in disgust.
+
+"Beastly!" said the archbishop of the future, laconically.
+
+"Oh! if you want dirty children," said Stephen, "come to Lambeth.
+You'll see a goodish few there."
+
+As he spoke the door was opened by Mrs. Tremain.
+
+"All in the gloaming," she said, brightly.  "I told Aunt Margaret we
+should most likely find you here; what a delicious smell of roasting!"
+
+"It's chestnuts, mammy," shouted Jackie, at the top of his voice, as
+he dragged his mother to a chair, and took up the position on her
+knee to which, in Nesta's absence, his right was indisputable.
+"Mammy, do eat this one, it's such a beauty."
+
+"Aunt Margaret, do you like this low chair?" said Gladys, as Mrs.
+Causton joined the group gathered round the fireplace.
+
+"Thank you, my dear, no, I think I will sit at a little distance, as
+I must face the cold outside in a minute, it is well not to enjoy too
+much of the warmth.  You have a very large fire."
+
+This last sentence had something of reproach in it, and it stimulated
+Stephen to a quick rejoinder.
+
+"Prime, isn't it."
+
+"Still," continued Mrs. Causton, "in such a severe winter it seems
+almost incumbent on one not to be too lavish in the coals which are
+so much needed by the poor."
+
+"It doesn't make the poor people any warmer for us to be cold," said
+Stephen, with a suppressed growl.
+
+"Nurse always makes up big fires," said Gladys.  "She says it's more
+economical than always feeding a little one.  Won't you have a
+chestnut, auntie?"
+
+"No, thank you, my dear.  It is not more than two hours till dinner
+time, and I do not think it well to eat between meals."
+
+The chestnut-eaters, conscious of a wicked enjoyment, munched on in
+silence, the idea of a possible abolition of all promiscuous and
+informal "feedings" between meal times was not to be tolerated for an
+instant.
+
+Mrs. Tremain changed the subject.
+
+"And you really go back to London to-morrow, Stephen?  You have had a
+very short holiday."
+
+"Yes; still a few days is better than nothing," he answered, tilting
+his chair backwards and forwards.
+
+"I only hope, Stephen, that you'll work well," said his mother,
+anxiously.  "These long winter evenings are excellent for reading."
+
+Stephen yawned.
+
+"Do you like your lodgings?" asked Mrs. Tremain.
+
+"Oh! they're awfully dull," said Stephen.  "Still they're near the
+hospital, and that's a great thing."
+
+"And your landlady seems a thoroughly nice woman," said Mrs. Causton,
+who had taken the rooms herself, and had been favourably impressed by
+the four large family Bibles placed as ornaments on the conventional
+lodging-house drawing-room table, as well as by the conversation of
+the landlady.
+
+"She's well enough," said Stephen, "when she's sober."
+
+Mrs. Causton lamented the deceitfulness of appearances, and said she
+would look out a tract which Stephen could give to the poor woman.
+The younger boys, wearying of this talk, began to grow noisy, and it
+was a relief to everyone, including Stephen, when Mrs. Causton said
+it was time for them to go home.
+
+When Gladys came back to the school-room, after seeing the last of
+the two visitors, she found her mother alone; the children had
+dispersed to their play, and Mrs. Tremain sat silently by the fire,
+which had now sunk rather low.
+
+"A few more coals, I think, dear," she said, as Gladys closed the
+door and hurried towards the hearth, "and then, as the room is quiet,
+I want to have a little talk with you."
+
+Gladys put on the coals quickly; her mother's tone had made her feel
+a little anxious, for though their "talks" together were many, they
+were not generally spoken of beforehand in this way.  Was there some
+new arrangement to be made, some difficulty to be discussed?  Could
+there be bad news from Dick?  Gladys tormented herself with a variety
+of suppositions, and lifted up such an anxious face to her mother
+that Mrs. Tremain could not help smiling.
+
+"Did my voice sound so very serious," she said, "that you conjure up
+all sorts of evils in a minute?"
+
+"Oh! mother, how did you know I had?"
+
+Mrs. Tremain smoothed the anxious, questioning forehead by way of
+reply, then she began, without further delay, to relieve her child's
+mind.
+
+"Nothing is wrong at all, dear; but your Aunt Margaret has been
+talking this afternoon to your father and me.  You know that she has
+taken a little villa at Richmond for the next six months; she wants
+to be nearer Stephen, and, though she cannot live in London, she
+thinks that, if she were there, Stephen could spend his Sundays with
+her.  But she dreads the loneliness very much, and cannot bear the
+thought of settling down by herself in a strange place.  She is very
+anxious, dear, that you should go with her for a time."
+
+Poor Gladys' heart sank; that indefinite expression, "a time," rang
+unpleasantly in her ears, and the thought of being weeks, or perhaps
+months, away from home, was terrible to her.  Then, too, though she
+was fond of Mrs. Causton, she was often a good deal annoyed by her
+peculiarities; and if these were noticeable in the sort of
+intercourse which they had had at Porthkerran, what would they not be
+in the close intercourse of daily companionship?  It was in rather a
+choked voice that she asked, after a pause,
+
+"_Must_ I go, mother?"
+
+"It is, of course, dear, for you to decide," said Mrs. Tremain.  "If
+you feel very strongly against it, we should not think of sending
+you."
+
+"But you wish me to go," said Gladys, a little resentfully, feeling,
+too, that the very fact of having the matter left in her own hands
+hardly gave her the choice of doing as she wished; she could not
+deliberately choose for herself the easy, comfortable, home-keeping
+path which she longed to take.
+
+"That is hardly a fair way of putting it," said Mrs. Tremain.  "For
+ourselves, darling, of course we want to keep you; for Mrs. Causton's
+sake and your own, I should like you to go."
+
+"For my own!" exclaimed Gladys, greatly surprised.
+
+"Yes, quite for your own, dear; you have scarcely ever been away from
+home, and it is time that you should see a little more of life; the
+change will be good for you in every way.  I think it will help to
+widen you."
+
+"You think me narrow-minded?" said Gladys, pouting.
+
+"Yes, dear, I do--a little," said Mrs. Tremain, laughing.  "I don't
+think you have much sympathy with people you don't agree with, and
+the best cure for that will be to get out of the old grooves for a
+little time."
+
+"But you surely don't want me to learn to think differently, and to
+come home again not agreeing with you and papa?" questioned Gladys.
+
+"No, certainly not; that would not be growing wider, only shifting
+your narrowness in a new direction."
+
+"But Aunt Margaret is the narrowest person imaginable," said Gladys,
+perversely.  "I shall only grow like her."
+
+"I think not," said Mrs. Tremain; "you would more likely be driven to
+the opposite extreme.  But that is not exactly what I want; I want
+you to learn to see her real goodness, and to sympathise with that,
+trying to pass over the little things which annoy you.  Besides, you
+will see other people; the world of Richmond is larger than the world
+of Porthkerran."
+
+Gladys was not convinced all at once, but before many days had passed
+her decision was made.  Home was to be renounced for six long months,
+and a new phase--not the least arduous--of her education was to be
+begun under Mrs. Causton's guidance.
+
+Her stay at Richmond was certainly productive of some good results.
+Stephen found his home visits attractive, and never failed to appear
+on Saturday afternoons.  Mrs. Causton thoroughly enjoyed her bright
+cheerful companion, and Gladys herself, in spite of unconquerable
+home-sickness, found much that was pleasant in her new life, and for
+many reasons never in after-years regretted the decision she had made.
+
+She saw then, with the strange thrill of joy and wonder which such
+realisations bring, that on this decision and on this visit to London
+hinged almost all that was most dear to her in the future, and that,
+unconsciously, she had then taken the first step towards the
+attainment of her wish over the chestnut-roasting.
+
+
+
+END OF THE FIRST VOLUME.
+
+
+
+LONDON: PRINTED BY DUNCAN MACDONALD, BLENHEIM HOUSE.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78456 ***