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diff --git a/78407-h/78407-h.htm b/78407-h/78407-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..aa65c37 --- /dev/null +++ b/78407-h/78407-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2567 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> + <meta charset="UTF-8"> + <title> + Womanhood: The Facts of Life Revealed to Women | Project Gutenberg + </title> + <link rel="icon" href="images/cover.jpg" type="image/x-cover"> + <style> + +a { + text-decoration: none; +} + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + +h1,h2 { + text-align: center; + clear: both; +} + +h2.nobreak { + page-break-before: avoid; +} + +hr.chap { + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + clear: both; + width: 65%; + margin-left: 17.5%; + margin-right: 17.5%; +} + +div.chapter { + page-break-before: always; +} + +p { + margin-top: 0.5em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: 0.5em; + text-indent: 1em; +} + +table { + margin: 1em auto 1em auto; + max-width: 40em; + border-collapse: collapse; +} + +td { + padding-left: 2.25em; + padding-right: 0.25em; + vertical-align: top; + text-indent: -2em; + text-align: justify; +} + +.sub { + padding-left: 3.75em; +} + +.tdr { + text-align: right; +} + +.tdpg { + vertical-align: bottom; + text-align: right; +} + +blockquote { + margin: 1.5em 10%; +} + +.hanging { + padding-left: 3em; + text-indent: -2em; +} + +.larger { + font-size: 150%; +} + +.noindent { + text-indent: 0; +} + +.pagenum { + position: absolute; + right: 4%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + font-style: normal; +} + +.smaller { + font-size: 80%; +} + +.titlepage { + text-align: center; + margin-top: 3em; + text-indent: 0; +} + +.x-ebookmaker blockquote { + margin: 1.5em 5%; +} + </style> + </head> +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78407 ***</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[1]</span></p> + +<p class="titlepage">LITTLE BLUE BOOK NO. <span class="larger">846</span><br> +Edited by E. Haldeman-Julius</p> + +<p class="titlepage larger">Womanhood: The Facts of<br> +Life Revealed to Women</p> + +<p class="titlepage">Gloria Goddard</p> + +<p class="titlepage">HALDEMAN-JULIUS PUBLICATIONS<br> +GIRARD, KANSAS</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">[2]</span></p> + +<p class="titlepage">Copyright, 1927,<br> +Haldeman-Julius Company</p> + +<p class="titlepage smaller">PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA</p> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[3]</span></p> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="INDEX">INDEX</h2> + +</div> + +<table> + <tr> + <td></td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdpg">Page</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">I.</td> + <td>The Opening Door of Womanhood</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#I_THE_OPENING_DOOR_OF_WOMANHOOD">5</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Adolescence</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Adolescence">5</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Essential Education</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Essential_Education">8</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Adolescent Training</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Adolescent_Training">11</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">II.</td> + <td>The Origin of Love</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#II_THE_ORIGIN_OF_LOVE">16</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Natural Love</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Natural_Love">18</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Romantic Love</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Romantic_Love">19</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Marital Love</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Marital_Love">20</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">The Pyschological View of Love</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#The_Psychological_View_of_Love">21</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">III.</td> + <td>Mating</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#III_MATING">23</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Woman’s Equality</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Womans_Equality">23</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">The Right of Choice</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#The_Right_of_Choice">25</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">The Child Problem</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#The_Child_Problem">27</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Moral Codes</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Moral_Codes">29</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Courtship</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Courtship">31</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">IV.</td> + <td>The Proper Mate</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#IV_THE_PROPER_MATE">33</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">The Purpose of Marriage</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#The_Purpose_of_Marriage">33</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Eugenics</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Eugenics">35</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">The Future of Eugenics</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#The_Future_of_Eugenics">38</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Birth Control</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Birth_Control">39</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">V.</td> + <td>Proper Education</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#V_PROPER_EDUCATION">41</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">In School</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#In_School">41</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">At Home</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#At_Home">45</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Love Education</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Love_Education">47</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">VI.</td> + <td>The Price of Error</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#VI_THE_PRICE_OF_ERROR">49</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Youthful Restraint</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Youthful_Restraint">49</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Over-Indulgence</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Over-Indulgence">54</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Venereal Diseases</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Venereal_Diseases">55</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">VII.</td> + <td>Idealism</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#VII_IDEALISM">56</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Chastity</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Chastity">56</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">Sexual Morality, Present and Future</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#Sexual_Morality">57</a></td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr"></td> + <td class="sub">The Purity Ideal</td> + <td class="tdpg"><a href="#The_Purity_Ideal">63</a></td> + </tr> +</table> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_4"></a><a id="Page_5"></a>[5]</span></p> + +<h1>WOMANHOOD: THE FACTS OF LIFE<br> +REVEALED TO WOMEN</h1> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="I_THE_OPENING_DOOR_OF_WOMANHOOD">I. THE +OPENING DOOR OF WOMANHOOD.</h2> + +</div> + +<p id="Adolescence"><i>Adolescence.</i>—It is the habit of age to call +youth the golden era, to speak of that period +as the halcyon days of life, and to look back +over its tempestuous beauty with eyes misted +by years and longing. It is one of man’s most +regrettable traits that he is ceaselessly yearning +back toward the past. For the few brief years +of childhood, he is content in the present, and +looks, if he looks at all, toward the beckoning +doorway of the future. Once he has reached +that threshold, he commences the endless looking +back, until we have a race of Lot’s wives +whose souls, at least, are static from backward +glances. This is particularly true of +women, though it applies in general to the +whole race. The child with her dolls is happy, +and in her play looks toward the future when +she will be a grown woman. Every girl who +mothers her dolls has a yearning toward +motherhood, but let the period for that estate +arrive, and she looks back tearfully on her +carefree childhood. Once the girl has stepped, +irrevocably, into the narrow pathway of adolescence +that leads to the opening door of +maturity, she commences looking back. The +adolescent girl pins up her hair, or bobs it, +today, and gazes regretfully at the curls of +childhood. She packs away her dolls, and +passes the closet where they are sleeping with +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[6]</span>a sigh. The widespread fad of fancy dolls +that has swept the country during the past +few years has a double significance. Largely, +it points toward starved motherhood. It is +the irrefutable sign that there are thousands of +women who long for children, but who, for +various reasons, deny that urge. It points to +something else, too. It is the answer to that +harking back to childhood, when dolls were +the only children, and all the world was play.</p> + +<p>This is regrettable. Looking back to the past +is a deadening pastime. No one period of life +should be more delightful than another. The +rounded person lives fully in the present, and +looks toward the future happily, with no yearnings +toward the past. The chief reason why +people look back, rather than forward is that, +through faulty education, unfortunate miscomprehension, +they spoil the present and see no +hope for doing otherwise with the future. If +we study the matter sensibly, we will see that +we do not actually want to go back to the past +for its actual activities; what we want is the +happy carefree life we then enjoyed. But, if +people lived rightly and thought correctly, they +would not want to go back from a state of +comparative freedom to a period of supervision. +No normal, healthy adult wants to go +back to a period wherein all of his thinking is +done for him. It is merely an effort to dodge +the cares of life. But, if our lives are properly +regulated, and if we are properly educated, +our cares will not hamper us, and gathering +years will increase rather than decrease our +enjoyment of living.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[7]</span></p> + +<p>This period of unrest, of wanting something +that we have not, commences between the ages +of fourteen and sixteen. In exceptional cases, +it may be hastened or retarded. At first, it +is mere unrest, and the mind fastens on the +past, as something that it knows, only because +it must have something to hold to, something +to explain its uneasiness. Actually, at this time, +it is the unrest of ignorance, the desire to +know the causes and reasons for everything, +especially ourselves. The adolescent girl, seeing, +for the first time, most of the life about +her, is puzzled, and longs to understand. She +is restless because she cannot do so. Powers +and faculties that only existed potentially before, +now come into being. New relations are +established, and for the first time, the ego +recognizes itself, and takes the center of the +stage.</p> + +<p>Heredity has done its part toward molding +the young life, and slips quietly into the background. +Childhood environment has started +the girl’s development, especially those intricate +and usually hidden bonds that exist between +the daughter and the parents. A physical +change commences its course, a change that +will slowly guide the girl from childhood to +womanhood. Physically, mentally, morally, the +woman is gradually being born. From the soft +clay of girlhood is springing what the woman +will be. The model is being fashioned from +within, where the girl’s real nature and hereditary +instincts are doing their work, and from +without, where environment and outside influence +are doing their best to guide the new +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[8]</span>person. Tradition has said that love is blind. +More truly might it be said that youth is blind. +Youth starts toward life with eyes raised toward +idealism whose glow blinds eyes already +sightless through ignorance. The problem is, +will those eyes, when they finally open upon +such reality as the world knows, fall dejectedly +upon gray ashy ruins, blackened by the now +cold fires of that idealism, or will they gaze +joyfully on a not too perfect world, but one +still bright with hope and beauty? The burden +of the choice lies, during these years, with +the people around the girl. Tactful, sympathetic +advice, and guidance by those whose +lives touch hers will do much toward making +a rounded woman of her, and will help to open +her eyes on a world she will want to live in. +Ignorance and false teachings on the subjects +that vitally concern her may leave her a +warped and twisted being, dragging weary feet +down tedious years.</p> + +<p id="Essential_Education"><i>Essential Education.</i>—Throughout a large +portion of the world, education in sexual matters +is the accepted custom. Most of the savage +tribes have it. Oriental civilizations still practice +it, and are the better for it. Our ancestors, +until the birth of Christianity, knew it. The +Old Testament lays down frank and open laws +upon the subject. But the rites of sexual education +had groped so far toward licentiousness, +that Christianity, banning the latter, smothered +the former. The Christian doctrine, aiming professedly +toward cleaner living, taught that the +body was worthless, and pointed toward a future +life, when only the spirit would count. +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[9]</span>Since the body was worthless, and since catering +to its appetites led to much so-called wrong, +it followed that the body, and all that pertained +to it, must be vile; only the soul was sacred. +Out of this there gradually grew a taboo. Discussion +of this vital subject was prohibited. It +is this prohibition that has done the greatest +harm to the Christian men and women of +today.</p> + +<p>Any sensible person can see that this teaching +is worse than false. It, not the body, is +vile. Slowly, after nineteen hundred years of +a lie, out of the blood of the World War, the +truth is springing, phoenix-like. The lie has +been the more insidious since men have never +practiced it. The pale Galilean light of chastity +has wavered like an <i>ignis fatuus</i> over a +distant horizon; men, gazing toward it, have +stumbled into pitfalls that had otherwise been +mountain heights. The joy of the body lived +and grew in spite of taboos, but, like a flower +doomed to bloom in a cellar, it flourished +wanly, and raised its anemic tendrils in the +foul blackness of subterfuge.</p> + +<p>Only within the last decade has man come to +see the foulness of this course. Slowly the race +is lifting itself out of this slough of deceit. It +rests with each parent to see that the rising +continues, until the day dawns when every +girl and boy will know all of the facts of life, +and know them correctly, in all their shining +beauty. Then, and then only, will that <i>ignis +fatuus</i> fade in the new dawn of a brighter light.</p> + +<p>It is the silence of the parents that does the +most toward making life seem sordid, and brutal. +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[10]</span>If the parent maintains an obdurate and +sanctified silence, as the majority do, will the +girl grow into a second Mary? Unfortunately, +yes. But science has so far enlightened the +race, that we no longer are willing to accept +stories of virgin births, and are too apt to see, +with cynical eyes, the Angel Gabriel in any +of the young men about town. Mothers expect +girls to wait for this necessary knowledge +until they are married, and then to learn it +from the young husband. But all too frequently, +the husband is as sadly ignorant as +his bride. What then? Will some miracle +point the way to happiness? Sadly enough +miracles are infrequent. Both young people +blunder on, usually into misery.</p> + +<p>But even the most assiduous silence on the +part of the parent rarely prevents the girl from +learning some part of the truth. As soon as +the little girl commences going to school, she is +exposed to the danger of learning these vital +facts, and learning them in a sordid way. Even +the most careful of parents cannot keep from +arousing a child’s curiosity concerning its body. +Chance remarks are overheard; when the +child reaches the school age, words seen in +books, heard in conversation, send the curious +one to the dictionary; worst of all, information +is freely scattered by their less restrained +and more evil-minded companions. These +facts, seen through the fouling haze of secrecy +and miscomprehension, tantalize the youthfully +curious mind. The young girl, hating to appear +less knowing than her acquaintances, adopts +the secrecy of her elders, and prowls through +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[11]</span>books and dictionaries; her mind, like a mole, +chases the truth through the dark of ignorance, +until what truth she finally gleans is +smudged with the filth of the streets, and +dulled by an aura of shame. They learn bad +habits, alone or by falling into unhealthy relationships +with other girls, if they do not +know the facts.</p> + +<p>This accurate knowledge, properly given, is +the more valuable, if to it is added a restrained +example on the part of the parents. If the +mother’s actions are admirable, this example +is a louder preachment to the young daughter +than any amount of words. Nor need a mother +shrink from telling her daughter the simple +facts of life. These mysteries can be pointed +out in a beautiful way through the life-stories +of animals and plants. The simple tale of how +young birds and kittens arrive in the world +can be made into a lovely symbol of the girl’s +own origin, and will point out to her the role +that she, in the normal course of nature, will +fulfil.</p> + +<p id="Adolescent_Training"><i>Adolescent Training.</i>—The essential thing to +guard in the adolescent girl is her bodily +health. If the body is properly cared for, the +sexual nature will take care of itself. Barring +some physical deformity, sexual life grows +strongly and healthily of its own accord. A +normal woman is capable of bearing at least +thirty children. This is neither desirable nor +economically possible, today. The task is to +rein sexual energy, not to stimulate it. Exercise +drains off this energy, which, in the girl, +is chiefly an undefined longing. Enjoyable +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[12]</span>occupations keep the girl’s mind occupied and +prevent that restlessness that is so taxing to +the adolescent person. All young girls should +be encouraged in participating in sports. They +develop a healthy body, increase grace, and +occupy a nervous mind.</p> + +<p>Occupying the mind does not mean keeping +it ignorant. The most curious mind is usually +the most empty one, provided the emptiness is +not due to sheer laziness. Young minds are +very empty, and the only sure way to fill them +properly is to give them complete and adequate +knowledge. If the adolescent girl knows the +true clean facts of sex, she will not spend surreptitious +hours poring over filthy books. This +ignorance not only pollutes the young mind, +but helps to ruin the young eyes. Girls seek +eagerly for trashy books, then read them in +bed, at night, and hide them during the day, +for fear of being caught with them. The moralists +of today who would suppress all of the +so-called foul literature would achieve their +purpose if, instead of indicting these books, +they turned their energies to teaching youth +the decent facts. This would immediately decrease +the market for such trash, for the educated +mind gets no thrill out of such books. +These books pander to the ignorant, the curious-minded. +The young people seize them, and +read them avidly, in the vain hope of learning +something of this whispered mystery. They +are invariably disappointed. There would be +nothing really wrong with such books, if they +actually told any facts. They don’t—they +merely add fuel to an already hot fire.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[13]</span></p> + +<p>The girl’s mind, properly equipped with a +knowledge of the realities of life, should be +fed on good books. She should be encouraged +in the studies that she prefers. It is a great +mistake of parents to force their children to +learn certain things, whether the children want +to or not. If the girl shows a fondness for +languages, let her study them; if she leans toward +astronomy, let her learn what she can +about it. True, it may be an interest of which +she will soon tire, but some of it will linger in +her mind, and the mental training will be invaluable. +As much as possible, turn the adolescent +mind toward things outside of itself. +Interest the young girl in the world about her, +and thus avoid that super-development of the +ego that leads to the lonely introspective person.</p> + +<p>The period of adolescence brings with it a +complete physical change. It is now that menstruation +begins. If the girl has been kept in +ignorance up to this time, she should be told +all the truths of life now. Also, her health +should be guarded more carefully than ever before. +This does not mean coddling; it merely +means proper attention to food, exercise, and +rest. Many girls are very much weakened by +this condition at first. Plenty of fresh air and +sleep are the best remedies. Of course, if the +girl continues to suffer from this period, she +should be put in the hands of a capable doctor. +Even in these broadening days, this remains +the one subject that the most frank-minded persons +refuse to discuss. This absurd secrecy has +given rise to the most harmful myths on the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[14]</span>subject. There is no reason why a healthy +woman should suffer during this time. It is +a natural physical phenomenon that takes place +once every twenty-seven days. Certain conditions +and certain climates sometimes lengthen +or slightly decrease the time between, but no +pain should ever result. The most that should +be expected is a certain lassitude during the +flow. If a girl or woman does suffer pain, she +should immediately consult a physician. Many +women go on through life suffering at this +time rather than talk to a doctor on the subject. +This is a ridiculous reticence. Under +normal conditions the flow will last three or +four days.</p> + +<p>Due to this strange silence on the subject, +many absurd notions and taboos have grown +up concerning this period. Many women still +believe that they must not bathe, walk, or indulge +in any form of exercise during this time. +Provided the woman is healthy, this is untrue. +During these periods, the body is more susceptible +to colds than at other times; therefore it +is unwise to expose oneself. A warm bath will +have no ill effect, and moderate exercise will +do no harm. There is no reason why one’s +daily routine should be altered in any way by +this condition. The main thing to remember +is to keep the body clean, and to take such +sanitary precautions as will insure comfort and +ease, and will prevent any unpleasant odors. +Such equipment as is necessary is obtainable +in every drug store.</p> + +<p>It is highly important for the girl who is +experiencing these periods for the first time to +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[15]</span>avoid undue excitement, and above all, any +emotional indulgences. The girl who is +equipped with the proper knowledge will realize +this, and will know that the proper restraint +at this period will insure her a healthy +future. Sexual indulgences during the adolescent +period weaken the nervous system, and +generally enervate the body.</p> + +<p>Adolescent girls are invariably sentimental +and romantically inclined. The parents should +not laugh at this display—rather they should +guide it into right channels. Faulty sex-consciousness +is grounded in this ridicule of the +parents. If her sentimental dreams are sneered +at, the girl does not cease having them; on +the contrary, they increase in volume, but she +hides it all, and ultimately grows shy and reticent. +She begins to fall in love with matinée +idols, with the older men about her, with some +favorite teacher. This is natural, and should +not be suppressed. If she has proper sex-knowledge, +and is considerately treated by her +parents, she will soon grow out of this stage +into a normal womanhood..</p> + +<p>A girl’s first sweethearts should not be jeered +at. If her youthful friendships are encouraged +among nice boys, if her choice of a first “beau” +is accepted as natural, and not made fun of, +she will avoid that sex-consciousness which so +frequently leads to secrecy in such affairs, and +to ultimate misery. Do not fear to have your +daughter go out with young boys. See that +her friends are honorable boys, and that she +knows what life means, and no harm can come +to her. Parents recoil in horror from the fear +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[16]</span>of a youthful misstep, and scorn the unfortunate +girl who makes it. They never realize +that the fault lies with them. Nine-tenths of +the unfortunate errors made by young girls +and boys are made through ignorance. If a +girl has no knowledge of life, she is an easy +victim of any man’s or boy’s pleadings. Her +curiosity urges her on, and once the thing is +done, she, not the guilty parents, pays for +the social sin.</p> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="II_THE_ORIGIN_OF_LOVE">II. THE ORIGIN OF LOVE.</h2> + +</div> + +<p>The thing we call love is known to no species +but man. The urge toward mating is in all +plant and animal life, taking place at such +times and places and in such a manner as is +most valuable to the species. No one, even the +most prudish, regards the mating of animals as +shameful. We do not speak with bated breath +of the arrival of a litter of kittens, nor do we +lock the cat in the closet when she feeds these +offspring. Yet, the very same phenomenon, +taking place among men, is spoken of in hushed +tones, and when we see a woman nursing a +baby in public, we regard her as little higher +than an animal.</p> + +<p>There is no longer much doubt of the fact +that man evolved from lower animals. But, +while this is an accepted truth, few realize +the significant facts that follow from it. In +animals, the thing we term love is merely an +urge planted there for the continuation of the +species. Selection is made for fitness only. +The female does the choosing, and picks out +the mate that seems to her to have the best +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[17]</span>attributes for the furtherance of a strong and +healthy stock. Animals have no knowledge of +paternity. Only in man, and that very recently, +has this knowledge developed. In zoology, children +are taught that certain animals eat their +young, if the mother does not protect them. +We are told of the brutality of the male rabbit, +who is supposed to do this. But the rabbit +has no realization of the fact that he had anything +to do with the tiny hairless things that +clutter his home. It is not male jealousy, or +any such emotion that prompts this, but the +sheer instinct to kill for food. The idea of +paternity has grown up within civilized times.</p> + +<p>In most of the lower animals, the female is +the acknowledged selector. Again, only man +has built up the myth that he does the choosing. +The selectivity of the female is responsible +for the development of brain, and is therefore +responsible for her own downfall. It was +the dawning realization that men were the +fathers of children that changed early civilization +from a matriarchate, or mother-rule, to a +patriarchate, or father-rule. Up to this time, the +women, as mothers of the race, had held a +high place in the tribe; she had the sole choice +of mates; she ruled and guided the children +to maturity. When paternity was finally acknowledged, +and the man was admitted as +much kin to the child as the woman, he claimed +a right to part control of it. His high opinion +of women, as the founders of his clan, diminished, +and he commenced to domineer over +her as he did over lesser males. With the +acknowledgement of paternity came the first +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[18]</span>conflict between men and women. No animal +ever fights with, or abuses his female, or any +of the females of his pack. Man, who admits +that he is made in the image of some god, +was the first to introduce this lowest form of +animalism into the world, and into a partly +cultured world, at that. The male had become +stronger than the female, through her selection +of strength, and he soon became lord over, +not only his children, but his wife as well. +From that dark day, down to the present, man +has ruled the world, and enslaved the women. +He has made the laws and made them so that +women have grown weaker and weaker. Today, +things are changing, and once more woman +is standing equal with her mate.</p> + +<p id="Natural_Love"><i>Natural Love.</i>—Originally, love meant merely +selection for purposes of reproduction. In the +ancient days, even religion was founded upon +this basic principle of fertilization. It remained +for Christianity to deny the necessity +of this deep fundamental fact.</p> + +<p>Sheer animal passion, or natural love, is no +less noble than the highly sophisticated esthetic +sentiment that we favor today. Nor can +love necessarily be limited to one individual. +Monogamy is a stricture laid down to bind +us by religion and social morals. The lower +animals are not usually monogamous. Women +have done most to advance this law, although +they, too, in the dawn of life were not more +monogamous than men. They were more selective, +that is all. Modern monogamy is a +product of property rights, and was merely intended +to insure the legitimacy of the sons so +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[19]</span>that they might inherit the father’s property. +But this monogamy never applied to the men. +Man’s nature is against it, while his mouth +speaks words in its favor. With the appearance +of monogamy, came prostitution. Men demanded +that their wives be virtuous, and then +went out and sought other women for their +pleasure. This gave rise to the double standard, +of which more will be said later.</p> + +<p>Some persons believe that the coming of +Christianity raised woman’s status. This is +far from true. Christianity, bringing its preachment +against the flesh, made woman appear +as an evil influence. Men were told to scorn +the body. By this time, men were ruling the +world, so they immediately laid all of the +blame of sex upon the women. Many of the +early promoters of the church preached violently +against marriage, calling it sinful and +wicked. Men came to assume the attitude that +they could be pure and godly, were it not for +the alluring seductiveness of women. The +urge of man toward women was denounced as a +thing of the devil. Today, our growing intelligence +recognizes the folly of this, and the purity +and loveliness of natural love is conceded.</p> + +<p id="Romantic_Love"><i>Romantic Love.</i>—Romantic love is a hot-house +growth feasting upon the dank soil of +denial of natural impulses. It grew up in the +days of roving knighthood, when for long +months, and perhaps years, the lovers were +separated. Men and women swore fidelity to +each other, and the women at least were +obliged to keep their vows. It became more +noble to refuse than to accept love. All that +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[20]</span>the couple required was to be together. They +contented themselves with sighs and madrigals. +Natural love demands the possession of +the person of the beloved; romantic love contents +itself with the mere presence, or often +the mere thought, of the beloved. Such love, +in general, was regarded as illicit. Young +knights knew this passion for great ladies, who +were unattainable through marriage, or high +station. Thus sprang up the belief that it was +wrong. In fact, it is harmful only to those +who yield to it, in that it festers in the soul, +and knows no outlet.</p> + +<p id="Marital_Love"><i>Marital Love.</i>—This form of love, the affection +between husband and wife, is also of comparatively +late growth. In general, it requires +monogamy. Frequently it is at war with romantic +love. In early centuries, there was no +thought of love when a union between two +persons was arranged. The mating was planned +for political or monetary reasons. Then, when +romantic love sprang up, certain young people +rebelled against this cold-blooded way of +disposing of their lives, and chose to marry +for love. Often this is no more satisfactory +than the commercial method. In many European +countries, the two are still divorced. In +France, the wife and the mistress are both +socially acknowledged facts, but are rarely embodied +in the same person. In America there +is a growing tendency to make wife and mistress +always one and the same person. This +is the ideal situation, though it is by far the +more difficult of consummation. It is a sin +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[21]</span>to yield one’s body to a man whom one does +not love.</p> + +<p id="The_Psychological_View_of_Love"><i>The Psychological +View of Love.</i>—Freud, who +blames most of man’s unhappiness on improper +sex-knowledge and development, divides +the growth of love in the human being into +three stages:</p> + +<p class="hanging">1. Auto-eroticism, or self-love.</p> + +<p class="hanging">2. Homosexuality, or love of the same sex.</p> + +<p class="hanging">3. Heterosexuality, or love of the opposite +sex.</p> + +<p>The infant is always auto-erotic. It gains its +first pleasure from suckling the mother’s +breasts, or the bottle. Soon it discovers the +pleasure of this apart from the mere joy of +eating. Then it sucks anything handy. It will +suck an empty bottle, a toy, its thumb. This +practice naturally should be discouraged, chiefly +because it is deforming to the mouth. Soon +the child discovers its own body. It finds real +joy in handling its own body. The normal +child grows out of this stage as it grows out of +safety pins and bibs. There are cases where +the child does not grow out of this phase of +life. Something goes wrong, and the child’s +development is arrested, and throughout life +he or she remains a victim of self-love. The +next thing that the normal child realizes is the +existence of other persons in the world. This +realization naturally centers on children. The +grown-ups are very remote. Children come to +have reality for the small child. She recognizes +something akin to herself, and, since she has +no way of knowing differently, she assumes +that all children are physically equipped like +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[22]</span>herself. Boys and girls are alike to her; she +does not know that there is any difference, +other than clothes, between them. Her affections +are drawn away from herself to others, +and usually center upon some older girl. This +is the period of homosexuality. Its most common +manifestation is the schoolgirl “crush” on +an older girl, or a favorite woman teacher. +This is the most dangerous period for the girl’s +future happiness. If she chances to place her +affection in a girl or a woman who is emotionally +biased, she may ruin her life or, at least, +seriously damage it. Homosexuality, put into +physical practice, definitely retards the mental +growth of the person. The right sort of +friendship, at this stage, can lead the girl +through the period without any danger. Mothers, +in general, should not encourage their +daughters in friendships for older girls. It is +better to drain off this urge in friendships for +girls of an equal age.</p> + +<p>A great number of children actually practice +onanism, or self-love, and homosexuality. In +general, parents are horrified by the thought of +such things. The danger arises if the child +does not normally grow out of these practices. +They are the lowest forms of love merely because +they are obviously sterile forms.</p> + +<p>From these two stages, the normal girl or +boy passes to the third when she or he reaches +adolescence.</p> + +<p>This third stage, heterosexuality, is the ultimate +love development, in that it signifies +love for the opposite sex. The young body has +at last matured and grown into harmony with +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[23]</span>natural laws. This is the highest form of bodily +contact with human beings. This is the ultimate +threshold of womanhood. The girl who +reaches this point and goes on into life with +the proper regard for the opposite sex, is a +woman; those whose development is retarded +and whose inclinations linger in one of the +earlier stages never fully achieve true womanhood.</p> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="III_MATING">III. MATING.</h2> + +</div> + +<p id="Womans_Equality"><i>Woman’s Equality.</i>—As we have shown before +in this Little Blue Book, woman, in the dawn +of man’s history, was acknowledged as superior. +It was woman who mothered the race, therefore +she was allowed to rule the clan. With the +coming of paternal knowledge, woman sank, +until in the days when civilization had reached +its highest point in Greece and Rome, woman +was merely a chattel. This was not wholly +true, even then. In the Old Testament, lineage +was always traced through the mother, showing +that the matriarchal idea still lingered. In +Greece, Rome and Egypt women were politically +men’s equal, at least in the matter of +property rights. With the coming of Christianity +woman reached her lowest point in the +social scale. She became hardly more than a +breeder. Men ruled the world and their homes +with equal rigor. But slowly, during the past +hundred years, woman has been winning back +her rightful position. The very nature of +woman’s duty, her motherhood, may keep her +from ever fully sharing all of man’s activities, +but she can and will be equal in importance +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[24]</span>and in power. The first thing for her to realize +is that she must concentrate on shining in +those lines of endeavor where she has supremacy, +and leave to men the other fields of +endeavor. Man has built up a civilization of +dollars and things. It remains for women to +reconstruct this to a civilization of persons. +Millions of dollars are spent yearly to produce +better cattle, and almost nothing is spent for +better babies. It remains for the women to see +that this condition is altered.</p> + +<p>Already, they have done a great deal. One +hundred years ago, women had no voice in +the government; today, they have gained seats +in state legislatures, in federal legislatures, in +state and federal courts and two have gained +seats in State capitols. A century ago, a woman +entering upon industrial life found it impossible +to receive the same wages or consideration +paid to men; the higher institutions of +learning were closed to her. Now, she can engage +in any occupation, and granted the same +ability, can earn as much as a man; she can +attend a good college or university. Worst of +all, one hundred years ago, she was completely +dependent upon a man for her very livelihood. +Her choice was limited. She must choose between +being the wife, mistress, or spinster +daughter of a man. Now she has won in the +economic field, and can accept or decline any +or many men, at will.</p> + +<p>This last is of the utmost importance and +has done more than anything else to change +woman’s status, and to give her love-life a +chance to blossom normally. A woman of a +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[25]</span>century ago had neither the opportunity nor +the ability to choose the man she wished for +husband or lover. She was dependent upon a +father, who sold her to the highest bidder. Her +wishes were rarely consulted. The father had +reared her and he decided who would undertake +her future support. A woman, unable to support +herself, could not afford to refuse a man +when he offered to marry her. Now, any +woman can support herself. She is limited only +by her education, which she can make as little +or as great as she chooses, and by her abilities. +But there is some path of economic independence +opened to every woman. She need no +longer wait for a man to marry her so as to +insure her future safety. She can pick a mate, +or decline one at will. This more than anything +else will help to put love relationships +upon a footing of decency and equality. When +a man marries a woman, not because the +woman needs support, but because she loves +him, there will be less chance or need for illicit +and clandestine loves.</p> + +<p id="The_Right_of_Choice"><i>The Right of Choice.</i>—Those who oppose +woman’s entry into industry, when defeated on +every point, fall back upon the absurd notion +that it will tend to make woman bold, incline +her to do the choosing of a mate. Naturally, +men resent this. It will take from them their +lordship. They will no longer be able to feel +themselves masters in their own homes. Nothing +better for civilization could happen. There +should be no master in any home. Men and +women should rule equally.</p> + +<p>In point of fact, women have always done the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[26]</span>choosing, from the matriarchate down to the +present. To be sure, daughters have been married +off according to parental arrangement, but +where this custom has prevailed, the sons have +been similarly treated. Marriages were arranged +by the families, with little regard for +the young persons. In America, the large majority +of young people are allowed to decide +for themselves in the matter of marriage. And +the women do the choosing. Oh, they don’t +actually propose. Their tactics are far more +subtle. Tantalizing frocks, alluring rouges, +provocative perfumes, all do their part toward +luring the man on. From among several young +men, it is the girl who makes the choice, and +does it so cleverly, and perhaps so unconsciously, +that the young man thinks all credit is due +to him. When the daughters are inept, the +mothers are usually on hand to help.</p> + +<p>This is right. Only, it should be frankly admitted, +rather than cloaked under a veil of +hypocrisy. For the good of the race, women +are the better choosers. Man, whose only instinct +is the biological urge to fertilize, pursues +all women, and takes those whom he can +get. From among a group of women, he is sure +to take the least clever, the one who is slow-witted +in eluding him, the one whom he can +get. To be sure, he may try to pick the most +beautiful, but usually her beauty covers an +empty head, and he doesn’t care. Needless to +say, these women are not the best fitted to +mother the race. When a woman chooses from +among a number of men, she picks the tallest, +the strongest, the most clever. So, while man’s +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[27]</span>choice tends to bring down the standard of the +race, woman’s tends to raise it.</p> + +<p>Prudish minds may some day come to realize +that there is no immodesty in a woman’s +letting a man know that she is willing to marry +him. The best of all methods would be where +the proposal was a mutual thing.</p> + +<p id="The_Child_Problem"><i>The Child Problem.</i>—The natural purpose of +mating is to beget children. The original +scheme of nature is built around this fact. But +nature had no hand in planning civilization, +large cities, and our present economic standards. +It is all very well to say that people are +going contrary to the plans of nature in refusing +to have children, and that this is a sin. +Poverty is a sin, the struggle for existence is +a sin. And since these are part and parcel of +our living today, it is often better to add the +so-called sin of refusing to have children to +the list than to commit a more heinous offense +by bringing small lives into the world without +having the adequate means to provide for them. +No human being has an ethical right to bring +children into the world unless he can provide +healthy surroundings and all of the normal advantages.</p> + +<p>Those who rant against socialism and the insubordination +of the working classes, and who +spend large sums of money in a vain endeavor +to keep these less fortunate individuals from +rising against wealth, would do better if they +spent that money in preaching against too +many children and in teaching men and women +how to limit their families to their means. If +the poor were not largely sex-ignorant, and +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[28]</span>were not over-ridden by religious superstition, +they would not have such families, and would +stand some chance of improving their condition. +A working man with a dozen children +stands very little chance of raising himself out +of the squalor in which he was born. Give the +same man one or two children, and his energies +could be spent in learning more, in rising, +instead of in the everlasting enervating struggle +for enough bread to feed the too-profuse +mouths. The children would have a greater +chance. Two children put through high school +are infinitely more valuable to the state and +the family than a dozen who are forced into +sweat shops before they are old enough to leave +off playing dolls.</p> + +<p>Here is where the women of today may help. +Those who give an intelligent interest to politics +can, if they will, help the passage of bills +that will allow for sex education, and that will +teach families not to have more children than +they can decently support. The general idea +that all women want children is an absurd +fallacy. Most women have them because they +do not know how to prevent it. Certainly, the +average man, given his choice, would not elect +to have a number of children, so that he could +have the privilege of slaving away his days to +feed them.</p> + +<p>Nor need the pessimists fear that this will +lead to race suicide. The average couple is +glad enough to have two or three children, provided +they can support them adequately. If +some of the economic load of the present were +lifted by a wise state legislation, most married +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[29]</span>persons would be glad to raise a small family. +It is the strain of too many children that wears +out the parents, and that reduces each child’s +chance for a happy, useful life.</p> + +<p id="Moral_Codes"><i>Moral Codes.</i>—The double code of morality is +one of the most insidious weeds of our man-made +civilization. By this code man is forgiven +all of the social sins; woman, none. This +code has been rigidly enforced down to the +last twenty years, and is still largely favored +in many places. This amazing code allowed—rather +expected—every young man to sow his +wild oats before his marriage. His escapades, +provided they were carried on so as not to +appear too brazen, were condoned, and frequently +encouraged. But when he came to +marry, regardless of how many unsavory affairs +he had indulged in, he demanded, and +society backed him in this demand, a pure, +unsophisticated girl. Women, on the other +hand, were required to be absolutely pure and +innocent, else their value as wives was gone. +It was insisted that the young girl sit by the +fire and sew a fine seam until some man came +with the offer to transfer her to his fireside, +to continue the seam. If, as too frequently +occurred, no man came, she must decline into +a sour spinsterhood, and give her energies to +care of the sick, or church suppers, with a +sweet smile, while her vitals were gnawed by +the malignant cancer of ingrowing love-longing. +Any girl, who by the slightest gesture, +stepped a fraction of an inch from this allotted +way, was immediately damned, and was +thenceforth not a fit mate for any “nice” man, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[30]</span>but the prey of all men. If a girl yielded to +unmarried love, the river or prostitution were +the delightful alternatives offered her, and men +and women united in maligning her. Surreptitiously, +the men changed their maledictions +with the waning light of day. Needless to say, +since the human animal is removed by degree +rather than kind from his four-footed ancestors, +there was a great demand for prostitutes. Men +could not satisfy their urge toward variety +among the women of their class, so they devised +a system whereby they could keep their +women virtuous, and still enjoy the fruits of +passion. The prostitute was allowed to carry +on her tragic trade, but was thrust into the +lowest depths of degradation.</p> + +<p>With woman’s rising importance in the +economic world, this double standard will cease. +Already it is showing signs of age. Woman +has traded the fragility of the hot-house rose +for the sturdier wind-blown beauty of the wild +rose, and she has not suffered for it. The old +legend that men admired only the shy retiring +girl has been shattered. The business girl is +not left to sit at home in the evening while +her more simple sister is wooed. Far from +it—men are anxious to win the favor of these +new women. Nor do they ask for ignorance +in them, nor decline to marry them when they +discover their knowledge of life. The modern +girl, who accepts a friendship if she wishes +one, has no difficulty in finding a permanent +mate when she desires to. The time will come +when the double code is but an unpleasant +memory of an incomplete civilization. Woman +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[31]</span>has the choice. It is more probable, and will +be infinitely more beneficial to the race, that +she will choose a single standard, whereby men +and women may be monogamous, if they desire, +but may elect any other course that is +mutually agreeable. Under such a system, +prostitution will wither, or will be carried on +only by those who select it voluntarily, and +the exploitation of young and innocent girls +will end.</p> + +<p id="Courtship"><i>Courtship.</i>—The average person believes that +courtship ends when the minister brushes the +bride’s cheek with his ecclesiastical lips. And +this belief is the rock on which marriage +founders. The girl, once married, is convinced +that her life-work has been accomplished, so +she ceases to consider her new husband. How +many young girls are there who would come +down to entertain her beau for the evening with +frowsy hair, and in an untidy house dress? Not +one. When a young man is coming to call, the +girl primps and dresses in her most becoming +frocks. She fixes her hair smartly, powders, +and looks as alluring as possible when she +opens the door for him. One year after they +are married, the man comes in after a weary +day’s work and finds a dowdy woman, with +wisps of hair streaking an unpowdered face, +through which a shiny nose gleams like a +beaconlight. When the beau comes wooing, the +young girl sees that the living room is neat +and dusted. When the young husband returns +in the evening, papers may be lying about +everywhere, the furniture undusted, and a +general air of unkemptness may prevail. We +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[32]</span>do not say this is universally true. Fortunately +it is not. But it has a wide enough +prevalence to be worthy of discussion. These +same women complain bitterly that their husbands +come home and bury themselves in the +paper, or do not come home at all, or pay more +heed to their business than to their wives. +True, and can you blame them? Far better to +fasten their eyes upon neat black print than +upon a frowsy woman. It is this sort of carelessness +that sends men to billiard parlors, to +poker games and to other women.</p> + +<p>Of course there arises the cry of the old +justification. Before marriage, the woman had +no house nor children to keep her busy all +day. Cannot a woman keep her house and herself +clean and attractive at the same time? +A large number of women do do it, so all +could. It is hard to understand the psychology +that is deep-rooted in many women and that +allows them to be slovenly. No one expects a +woman, if she must do her own work, to be +attired in a party frock when her husband +comes home in the evening. But she can wear +a simple pretty house dress, with a gay cretonne +apron over it, she can have her hair nicely arranged, +and her face powdered. If a woman +must do her own work, she should live in a +home small enough for her to take care of, and +still allow her time for herself. She should +not have so many small babies that every +minute is occupied with them. She should +learn all of the simple labor-saving devices that +make housework easier. The home is the last +place to be standardized. It is no wonder that +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[33]</span>men become impatient with women, and conclude +that they are shiftless and brainless. If +the same tactics were applied to business universal +bankruptcy would result. Housework +can be standardized, and should be. Once that +women realize this, their labors will be cut +in half.</p> + +<p>The only way to make marriage a continual +happiness is to continue the courtship through +life. Each party must make the effort to keep +the desire of the other alive and eager. Husband +and wife must regard each other as they +did before marriage. This will not be hard +if there was true love to start with, and it will +be infinitely worth while. Marriage is not a +thing to be lightly entered into and lightly +cast aside. It requires constant care on the +part of each.</p> + +<p>To be sure, if after these attempts to preserve +the love of the pre-marriage days, that love +dies, it is better for the temper, health, and +morality of both parties to separate. But all +other methods should be adequately tried first.</p> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="IV_THE_PROPER_MATE">IV. THE PROPER MATE.</h2> + +</div> + +<p id="The_Purpose_of_Marriage"><i>The Purpose of Marriage.</i>—The essential +thing to found a happy marriage upon is the +choice of a proper mate. Marriage, even from +the most modern standpoint, is something more +than the satisfaction of the love desire. It +is an institution upon which all of our social +life is founded. More than that, it is the one +undisputed method of gaining immortality. Men +and women live on in their children, their +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[34]</span>grandchildren, forever. The perpetuity that +they hand down must be the finest that they +are capable of. If two incompatible people +marry and live together, they give that incompatibility +of temperament to all posterity. +They bequeath dissatisfaction, unrest, misery +to the world, for it is an undisputed fact that +the children of unhappy couples are rarely +rounded persons. So it is no light matter to +choose a fitting mate.</p> + +<p>The perpetuation of the race is one of the +deep fundamental principles of marriage. It +remains for each couple to see that their offering +to this end is the best that they can possibly +make. From the standpoint of the race, +it is essential that only those who are fit +should mate and give children to the future.</p> + +<p>The majority of matings are haphazard. A +young woman chooses a husband from among +the men with whom she is thrown in contact. +She cannot wait until she has seen and known +all the available men. Too often she takes to +the first one who pleases her. The economic independence +of women will alleviate this slightly. +A young woman no longer needs to marry +in her earliest twenties. She can afford to +wait. This gives her a better chance of selection. +But even with necessity for marrying +early removed, she knows little or nothing +about the man she chooses. He is attentive, +dances well, is amusing, so she marries him. +She does not stop to consider his physical fitness +to be the father of her children. Mere +passion too often determines the matter. This +is a thing that comes very easily, and on the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[35]</span>crest of its urge, people marry. As easily it +goes, when there is no fundamental compatibility +behind it. Then marriage is wrecked. +A young woman should not marry hastily, nor +choose as a basis of this estate the momentary +thrill of a kiss, nor the charm of a man’s +dancing ability. We are not suggesting long +tedious engagements, but as deep a knowledge +of the man as is possible before the girl enters +into matrimony with him.</p> + +<p id="Eugenics"><i>Eugenics.</i>—The girl is confronted with the +problem, What is the fitting mate? Her own +inclinations should be the first guide, but when +they have singled out a possible choice, she +should bring common sense to their aid. In +general, all persons turn to their opposites. +This is right. Opposites in appearance and +temperament are usually the most congenial. +This does not mean violent contrasts. A man +who cares nothing for the theater, dancing, +social life should not pick a girl whose whole +life is bound up in these. If a woman feels +immense or insistent love for a man whom +she knows is not a fit father for her children, +she should either forget the desired mating +or the children. Eugenics, or the choice of +proper mates, is being more carefully studied +from a scientific point of view, and will ultimately +be invaluable, at least as far as procreation +goes.</p> + +<p>Eugenics is the science of improving the +stock; of making the offspring as nearly perfect +as possible. It has been practiced in the breeding +of animals for a long time. Every farmer +knows the value of having the best cattle he +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[36]</span>can obtain, and having them, of mating his +cows with thoroughbred bulls. Yet people still +shudder at the thought of applying its principles +to the human race. Its formulator, +Francis Galton, defined it as “the science which +deals with all influences that improve the inborn +qualities of a race.” He further explained +this idea and expanded it, saying that the aim +of eugenics is</p> + +<blockquote> + +<p class="noindent">to check the birthrate of the Unfit instead of +allowing them to come into being, though doomed in +large numbers to perish prematurely. The second +object is the improvement of the race by furthering +productivity of the Fit, by early marriages and +healthful rearing of their children.</p> + +</blockquote> + +<p>There is much to be said for and gainst the +wholesale acceptance of this theory. In essence, +it imperils the personal selection for marriage; +and comes very close to being an officious attempt +to interfere with human freedom. Yet, +it is gaining ground in the world’s legislation. +To the individual, it may seem to impose unnecessary +hardships and restrictions; but that +is not its aim.</p> + +<p>Extreme advocates of eugenics say flatly that +“we should rather bring the propagation of the +race to the level of the stud-farm, than that it +should go on in the old haphazard way which +surely leads to catastrophe.” While we do not +want science for domestic animals and chance +for men, the average thinking person will reject +this stringent proposal. But some middle +course lies open. Legislation prohibiting certain +matings would be obnoxious, but certain +laws making health attractive would meet with +approval. There are extreme cases when laws +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[37]</span>should act, not to prohibit mating, but child-bearing. +If the state should believe that certain +persons were absolutely unfit for parenting +children, it is possible, by a simple operation, +to insure them against this, without detriment +to the health of either sex. There are times +when this is highly desirable. Switzerland, in +ten years, largely abolished a certain type of +feeble-mindedness by this method. If science +believes that such traits as feeble-mindedness, +insanity, epilepsy, dipsomania and syphilis are +inheritable in such proportions that prohibition +of offspring should be required, such a law +should be resorted to.</p> + +<p>But, since such laws are not at present prevalent, +it remains for each man and woman to +choose wisely and healthily. If a young woman +is certain that she cannot be happy without +mating with a man who is consumptive, paralytic +or inflicted with some other inheritable +disease, she should enter upon the marriage +with a firm will against giving birth to any +children. This may seem a very harsh stricture, +but if the young woman will stop to realize +that having children by such an unfit +father may carry on the disease in a worse +form through her children or grandchildren, +she will grant the wisdom of the plan. No +woman wants deformed or unhealthy children. +If she marries a man in such a condition, she +does it open-eyed, but to go through the trials +of child-birth for the sake of a life that will be +marred by illness, is another matter. It is +not only unfair to the parents, but brutally unfair +to the child. If people would get over the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[38]</span>idea that children owe all to their parents, +and come to realize how much parents owe +to their children, they would see the sense of +such reasoning. After all, it is a great responsibility +to bring a life into the world. Remember +that the person for whose life you +are responsible had no choice in the matter. +You bring them here. It is up to you to see +that they arrive in a not too happy world, +equipped with every possible weapon to gain +happiness. The children of unhealthy parents +are unfairly handicapped from the start.</p> + +<p id="The_Future_of_Eugenics"><i>The Future of Eugenics.</i>—Certain scientists +do not regard eugenics as simply as we have +done. Bertrand Russell, in <i>Icarus</i>, is sure that +eugenics will become universal.</p> + +<blockquote> + +<p>This power will be used, at first to diminish imbecility, +a most desirable object. But probably, in +time, opposition to the government will be taken +to prove imbecility, so that rebels of all kinds will +be sterilized. Epileptics, consumptives, dipsomaniacs +and so on will gradually be included; in the +end, there will be a tendency to include all who +fail to pass the usual school examinations.</p> + +</blockquote> + +<p>He believes that the result will increase the +average intelligence, and decrease brilliance.</p> + +<p>Viscount Haldane, considered by some as a +greater scientist, and a more brilliant critic, +indicates that eugenics may come in by a +pleasanter though more startling route. By +1950, he anticipates the production of the first +ectogenetic child, or child born from a womb +withdrawn from the mother’s body for all of +the embryonic period. By a simple operation, +he prophesies that science will be able to remove +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[39]</span>an ovary from a woman, and keep it +growing in a suitable fluid for as long as twenty +years, producing a fresh ovum each month, of +which 90 percent can be fertilized, the embryos +grown successfully, for nine months, and +then brought out into the air. Many nations +will hail this movement because of the falling +birthrate that they are at present suffering +from. He believes that such an absolute separation +of reproduction from love will make a +deep and profound effect upon morality. It +will be possible then for each generation to +choose only the perfect parents to produce the +coming generation. There is much to be said +in favor of this amazing idea, and of course, a +great deal to be said against it. But the ever-increasing +growth of intelligence will ultimately +wipe out the majority of the objections.</p> + +<p>The foremost thinkers of today regard eugenics +as a matter worthy of their discussion +and serious consideration. We offer what +science may suggest as possible solutions of the +race problem. How the state and country may +regard these discoveries is another and quite +unpredictable matter. It is very probable that +things will not advance as briskly as these two +quoted scientists anticipate. Nor need we be +too much concerned with the fate of 1950. It +remains for each individual to give his and +her consent to adequate eugenic protection. +Greater happiness will result from a certainty +that the parties to any marriage are fit for +parenthood.</p> + +<p id="Birth_Control"><i>Birth Control.</i>—The chief reason why many +people are against eugenics is that it demands +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[40]</span>birth control. Many religions denounce this +practice, and in general the state is against +it. No doctor is allowed to give advice on this +subject.</p> + +<p>The very persons who shudder and brand any +passion as animal, regard promiscuous breeding +as human. There is nothing more animal-like +than being merely a vehicle for breeding +purposes. Yet that, according to the laws of +state and religion, is all that marriage is for.</p> + +<p>This theory is expected to apply to the poor; +it does not concern the rich. Artificial methods +of preventing conception are widely known +among those who could well afford to have +children. In many localities it is a crime to +furnish this information. A doctor, though he +knows that the parents are unfit for parenthood, +may not do anything to prevent the birth +of a child. The poor, therefore, who have the +greatest need for the information, cannot acquire +it, in general.</p> + +<p>Of course, any form of abortion, or killing +the embryo after it has been conceived in the +womb, can be said to resemble murder. But +the prevention of conception is another matter. +No actual life is being terminated; then one +is merely being prevented for the good of all +concerned. One cannot expect human beings to +remain continually continent. This is unnatural +and wrong, to say nothing of being harmful +to the parties concerned. Ultimately, the +stringent laws on this subject will be altered +for the general good of present generations +and those yet unborn.</p> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[41]</span></p> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="V_PROPER_EDUCATION">V. PROPER EDUCATION.</h2> + +</div> + +<p id="In_School"><i>In School.</i>—The most outstanding error, the +one most fraught with dire consequences, is +the taboo on sex, and the consequent silence +upon any matter pertaining to it. All life is +dependent upon sex, and all civilization is combined +in an effort to make it appear non-existent +by ignoring it.</p> + +<p>With silly sham codes and an absurd veil of +surface morality, civilized society blinds its +eyes to sex, and tries to believe that in so +doing it is eradicating man’s most fundamental +yearning. Naturally, it does no such +thing. But what does it do? If it were only +a negative result that it achieved, it would be +hardly worthy of notice, and could be passed +over with a light laugh as a fond parent ignores +the amusing make-believe of a child. +Such is not the case. The conventions and +moral codes are more deadly than a mere sop +thrown out to soothe Rotarian consciences. +This smoke screen, released to blind the enemy, +has deadened the eyes of the defense, and left +them open to the most insidious advances of +their declared foe. All that conventional morality +has succeeded in doing is promulgating an +ignorance that is more devastating than anything +the most licentious knowledge could possibly +foster. Young persons, reaching maturity, +blunder onto sex, blinded by ignorance. Small +wonder that they make so many grave mistakes. +It is hard on both sexes, but harder on +girls. In spite of our broadening attitude, girls +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[42]</span>still pay the price of ignorance in most communities. +What chance has a young girl, +brought up to believe that she was dropped +through the window by a stork, or that her +mother found her under a rose bush, when she +goes out into a man-made world? She has been +taught to keep her boy friends at a proper distance, +but when she is alone, and lonely, she +finds it not too hard to give the first kiss. Once +given, she can see no harm in it. Somehow it +doesn’t seem nearly as evil as her parents had +told her it was. She does not know that the +kiss is a mere preliminary, and when she +finally yields, she does not realize the full import +of her action. She has only blind ignorance +with which to defend herself from the +world, only ignorance to protect her from disease, +or illegitimate motherhood.</p> + +<p>Has this ignorance kept girls any purer? No. +An appalling number of babies are born to +ignorant girls every year. The crime is not +only against the girl, but the baby, who comes +into the world branded by the stigma of illegitimacy. +And society blames the girl for +not knowing how to take care of herself when +all of the social energies have been united to +maintain her ignorance.</p> + +<p>Perhaps the worst result of this sex-ignorance +is prostitution. We wonder how many people +know where the recruits to this profession are +gathered. To be sure, there are some who enter +it voluntarily, but they are few. The great +majority of them are innocent girls, usually +from small towns or country homes, who fall +into the trap of some wily man, a trap not +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[43]</span>baited by the man, but by the girl’s ignorance. +Since this has been the result of ignorance, is +there a remedy? Yes, education.</p> + +<p>Almost everything is taught in our schools +today, from how to add two and two to the +theory of the fourth dimension. What is +taught about sex? In general, nothing. In +most of the grade schools there is a course in +hygiene, but this assiduously avoids all mention +of the most important hygiene of all—sex-hygiene. +There are courses which teach the +structure of the human body. They give long +Latin names to each bone, from the skull to the +great toe. But, when they reach the central +sections of man’s anatomy, they hurriedly locate +the stomach and intestines, and rush on to +the thigh bone, leaving a great void between. +The reasons for this are absurd. First there is +the puritanical teaching that the body is vile, +and that any conversation about it is evil. But +they do not consider that head, shoulders, +chest, thighs, feet are vile. Those portions of +the body are acceptable, even to puritan thinking. +Only the generative organs are banned. +The second reason given for not teaching sex +in the schools is that the imparting of scientific +information on the subject will stimulate +undesirable conduct on the part of the pupils. +The so-called undesirable conduct is participated +in anyhow, and it is rendered the more +harmful through ignorance. The majority of +intelligent persons today realize the error of +these taboos, but, when asked to advocate sex-knowledge, +they decline to support such a reform.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[44]</span></p> + +<p>In the last few years there has been some +advance made, through the study of biology. +The study of plant and animal life is an excellent +introduction to that of human life. +This is particularly true of the latter, of which +human life is merely a more advanced stage. +But it is to be feared, that if the smug teachers +of these subjects realized this they would immediately +expunge it from school curriculums. +However, botany and zoology are taught, and +it behooves the student to give them careful +attention, as it is his only chance of learning +anything about sex under the present standards. +There is no shame attached to conversation +about flowers, their seeding and blooming. +We speak of pollen, stamen and pistil without +any maiden blushes. We learn of the promiscuity +in nature without raising horrified +hands. The development of the young from +the fertilized ovum to the production of the +seed and the plant gives a symbolic picture to +the mind of what she is to expect in the +human world.</p> + +<p>In zoology we come to the next step in this +surreptitious learning. Here certain things are +regarded shameful by some persons. To the +farmer, there is nothing wrong in what a city +person may think is not nice. But the farmer +would not regard with the same latitude similar +human functions. We do not blush when we +speak of a chicken laying eggs, nor of the +pet cat’s litter of kittens. Even in the most +fastidious society anyone may with propriety +call attention to a tom cat’s nightly song of +wooing. A clear knowledge of zoology will +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[45]</span>give any student fair comprehension of her own +sex-life. In the higher animals, the sex functions +almost parallel our own. Learned through +these channels, instead of through filthy gutter +talk, sex unfolds itself to the youthful mind +as an interesting and natural phenomenon, divested +of all shame and guilt.</p> + +<p>The third step in teaching sex in schools is +in the study of human physiology. At present +this is a much-neglected subject. But, the time +will come when it is included in every school +course. It can be taught to segregated classes. +No emphasis need be placed on the generative +organs, provided they are mentioned in their +proper place. The tendency of the pupils to +giggle will disappear if the teacher is sufficiently +cool and detached. The teaching, to be +valuable, must be comprehensive both as to the +organs, and their use and abuse.</p> + +<p id="At_Home"><i>At Home.</i>—The best place for a child to learn +the proper facts of sex is in the home. The +right education at home is more than ever +essential at present, since there is no attempt +to teach such matters in the schools. But even +when the schools have broadened to include +this subject, it should be fully and adequately +discussed at home. This education should begin +as soon as the child manifests any curiosity +on the subject. In general, a child is +still very young when she asks, “Where did I +come from?” The taboo-inhibited parent need +not think that the child fully accepts the threadbare +stork or rosebush story. The child may +ask for fuller information, but more often, she +merely remains silent. For several years, she +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[46]</span>may learn nothing to contradict this story. +But, one day, through her reading or her companions, +truth or near-truth will come to her. +It will have two deep effects upon her young +mind. First, it will start that hideous belief +that there is something wrong with sex, something +evil about it, that prompted her parents +to hide it under a foolish legend. All right, +that is what we want, the parent may answer. +But the second effect is such that no parent +can desire. It gives the child her first glimpse +of deception, and breaks her faith in her parents. +Remember, that all of the child’s early +training has been to convince her that she must +always tell the truth. She is punished for +lies and deceptions. Then, she suddenly discovers +that these parents, who taught her to +speak the truth, have lied to her. She does not +stop to reason why, she only sees the fact. +And a very disillusioning fact it is. Very few +parents realize that the art of lying is taught +by themselves while they are trying to instil +truth as a virtue into the young mind. Example +is more powerful than words, or even +punishment. The child learns that the parents +teach truth, then lie themselves. If the parents +are strict, and, by punishment, prevent the +child from deception during its childhood, the +lesson she learns is only that force has the +right of deception. She comes to the conclusion +that the elders can do as they wish, +and need not be honorable, and the lesson +lingers.</p> + +<p>How much better is the simple truth. Certainly +no one advocates telling a child all of +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[47]</span>the scientific facts that govern sex. But when +the child asks, tell her simply the truth, in a +plain sweet manner. Tell her that she was +carried close under her mother’s heart, until +she was big enough to come out into the world. +From this simple beginning, the story can be +filled in as the child’s mind grows old enough +to understand.</p> + +<p>This requires, first, proper knowledge on the +part of the parent. It is the duty of every +woman who is a mother or who expects to become +one, to learn all of the facts about sex. +This knowledge will have a twofold value. It +will assist in her own life, and will equip her +properly to answer her daughter’s questions.</p> + +<p>When a girl enters adolescence, it is imperative +that her mother tell her frankly and +without shame all of the details and practices +of sexual life. Knowledge is the best protection +that any girl can have. The duty of +the wise parents is to enlighten their children +fully about the possible ways before them, +and what good or ill will be won by following +each. The girl who has a thorough comprehension +of these facts may be depended upon +in the majority of cases to decide far more +wisely and constructively problems connected +with the sexual urge, than the girl who is +reared in blindness and receives such information +as she gathers from doubtful sources, +thick with the slime of evil minds.</p> + +<p id="Love_Education"><i>Love Education.</i>—The adolescent and the +young woman will find this information too +elementary to be satisfactory. Love is more +than a matter of human psychology and its +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[48]</span>functioning. It is a very subtle art. There +must be, ultimately, education in the art of +love. The savage races all believed in this. +The ceremonies of initiation that were held +at the time of puberty of the young men and +women, were merely the culmination of an +education in love-making that was given +frankly and openly in all the tribe. These +practices still prevail among such tribes as +have evaded the missionaries.</p> + +<p>The average man or woman, barring such +stray and frequently fouled hints as he receives +from friends and companions equally +ignorant, enters upon marriage with no understanding +of what he is called upon to do. When +the daughter of a nice respectable family marries, +she is, presumably at least, a virgin. The +young man may or may not be; the assumption +being that he is not. His sexual knowledge +has been gained through prostitutes and “common +girls.” More often he has no idea what +to do. The girl, we repeat, is virginal. She is +not supposed to have any but the most vague +ideas on the subject. If the girl really has no +knowledge of men, she is shy. Naturally, the +largest part of the burden falls upon the man. +But the girl should know in advance what sex +means. If she does know, it will do a great +deal to dissipate her unnecessary shyness.</p> + +<p>We repeat, love is an art. The girl must +realize that she may suffer a tremendous +shock which will render her frigid for life. +Medical records are black with the countless +cases where the experiences of the nuptial +night have wrecked the whole subsequent content +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[49]</span>of the woman, and in extreme cases, her +reason. Young wives who commit suicide on +the honeymoon are frequently so impelled by +the man’s initial and usually quite unconscious +brutality. Love is an art, calling for infinite +tact on the part of both the man and the +woman.</p> + +<p>It will require an immense change in modern +conceptions before any wholesale education in +the art of love can be given in this country. +None the less, it is indispensable to right living +and happy loving. It remains for the wise +individual to educate herself, by extensive +reading of literature upon the subject, and by +a personal contact with those in a position to +know. It is an idealistic dream to hope for +such education now. But, we can be optimistic, +for the history of any radical idea is that it +has been proposed, hooted at, persecuted, and +finally adopted.</p> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="VI_THE_PRICE_OF_ERROR">VI. THE PRICE OF ERROR.</h2> + +</div> + +<p id="Youthful_Restraint"><i>Youthful Restraint.</i>—While full sex-knowledge +is advised at an early age, sexual practices +are by no means so desirable. The adolescent +girl should save her strength until she +has acquired full bodily maturity. This is best, +not only for herself, but for her children. The +children of immature women are, in nine cases +out of ten, weaklings. The girl is not bodily +prepared for this great strain. She has not +enough strength of body or mind to give to +the proper development of the child she is carrying. +Since the girl herself is not fully +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[50]</span>grown, since her mind is young and still +largely unformed, and her body just stepping +out of childhood and groping toward womanhood, +how can she expect to give birth to a +child fully equipped with all the potentialities +of ripe maturity? The offspring of girls are +necessarily more than immature, since, obviously, +the child cannot possess more than its +parents give it. Therefore, self-restraint, during +the body-forming period of adolescence, is +the only way of securing a rounded flowering +into womanhood, and the surety of healthy +children.</p> + +<p>Sexual restraint during adult life is an entirely +different matter. There is a certain +misguided medical backing available to support +the theory that men and women can abstain +for life without damage to them. There +are occasional high bloodless ascetics who can +change the suppressed desire into a mysticism +soothing to themselves and to others of the +race. But for the average man and woman, a +life of abstinence is a physiological crime. +Such people are warped and twisted out of any +chance of normal happiness. Such living runs +diametrically opposite to the true physiological +needs implanted in every human being. On a +large scale, it is suicidal to the race; individually, +it is destructive of a rounded normal development. +The woman who remains denied +for life acquires all the caricatured attributes +of the “old maid.” She acquires a sour disposition, +and is the bitterest gossip concerning +even the normal sexual practices of other +women. She is the waspish snappy school +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[51]</span>teacher to whom the guiding of the youthful +mind is assigned, with ultimate harm to it. In +both men and women, a life of abstinence is +worse than a mistake: it is, in its truest sense, +a perversion.</p> + +<p>While abstinence for life is unnatural, there +is still another reason, beyond the purely +physical inadvisability, for abstinence during +adolescence. This reason has to do with the +mental side of love, as well as the physical. +Young people, stepping into the dawn of love-life, +are naturally prone to fasten their affections +on the first person they see. Or, at least, +to fall in love easily, and lightly. The normal +girl yields to a series of tentative love illusions +before she meets with a man who is fitted +to become a husband for whom her love +will be more or less permanent. The adolescent +girl falls madly in love with a man because +he is a “divine dancer,” because his hair +curls in a provocative way, because of a thousand +transient reasons, none of which is a good +basis for future marital happiness. Even if the +cause of her love is founded on a firmer reason, +even if the young man she loves is in +every way compatible to her eighteen-year-old +psychology, it is unwise to marry so early. He +may be everything desirable in the eyes of the +young girl, they may like the same things, have +the same tastes in literature, etc., but, still, +waiting is wiser. For, the man who completely +satisfies the eighteen-year-old girl may fall far +below the standards of the same girl, when +she views him from the pinnacle of twenty-five. +The adolescent girl is unformed mentally as +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[52]</span>well as physically. Her standards are necessarily +much lower than they will be five or +more years later. She cannot be expected, nor +is she able, to look ahead toward the time +when her judgments will be matured, and to +choose accordingly. We repeat that self-restraint +is to be greatly desired during the +adolescent years.</p> + +<p>In general, no girl of today should marry +before she is twenty-five. She can safely wait +until she is thirty. By the time she is twenty-five, +she has reached a maturity of judgment +that will allow her to choose a permanent +mate with whatever wisdom she can bring to +bear upon the subject. By that time, she is +able to find men several years older than herself +more companionable, and this is as it +should be. The young girl, while she may have +occasional “crushes” on older men, seeks her +friends and companions from among the boys +who are of her own age. Her regard for older +men is more hero-worship than real affection. +This would lead her, if she chose a mate during +these formative years, to pick one from +among the boys of her own age. And this is +wrong. Men age much less rapidly than +women. Women are older by intuition and psychology +than men. Theirs is the burden of +the future of the race, which may account for +their more adult attitude. So that, if a couple +marry when they are nineteen or twenty, and +are the same age, ten years later the woman +will be much more mature in her outlook on +life than the man of the same age. Here is +where the first seeds of discord are sown. +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[53]</span>Whereas, if the girl waits until she is twenty-five, +she has had time to realize this fact, and +has already altered her ideas concerning men, +and chooses for her friends men who are three, +four, or even ten years older than herself. A +girl of twenty-five marrying a man of thirty +stands a much better chance of achieving permanent +happiness than a girl of the same age +marrying a man of equal years.</p> + +<p>Self-control during adolescence can be acquired +without any unpleasant effects, and +without seeming a burden upon the young people. +A whole-hearted indulgence in all types +of athletic exercise goes a long way toward +draining off the erotic energy crying elsewhere +for direct liberation. A devotion to any branch +of learning, a hobby of any kind, acquaintance +with the world of nature, all these keep the +mind in safer channels. On the other hand, +the way to stimulate these undesirable emotions +is attendance at suggestive shows, reading +licentious books, and indulging in giggled conversations +with other girls upon the subject of +sex. The current tendency for young girls +toward drinking is also bad, since it stimulates +the erotic energy. The wise young girl will +avoid all this, not prudishly, but calmly and +intelligently, until she has stored her body +with the wealth of physical strength and her +mind with the wealth of counter-irritating +knowledge. The average young girl does most +of these things because she fears the ridicule +of her companions if she refuses. Her answer +can be simple. If she calmly points out that +she knows all of the decent facts about sex, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[54]</span>and therefore does not need the insinuated +half-knowledge that pornographic plays and +books give, she will gain the respect, not the +mockery, of her friends.</p> + +<p id="Over-Indulgence"><i>Over-Indulgence.</i>—Over-indulgence, in anything, +is the gravest and almost the only sin, +from the standpoint of the individual. If the +young girl eats too much of her favorite sweet, +she is almost sure to pay for it by stomach +ache, or indigestion. This stands equally true +for all ages. We have mentioned onanism. +To be sure, most adults deny this fact, and +lyingly state that such was not the habit when +they were young. How much better, then, to +admit it as a part of all youthful experience, +and combat it wisely and intelligently, and not +to raise horrified hands, and make the young +person feel that she has committed a heinous +crime, the more dreadful because she is the +first offender? The wisest and best course is +to avoid onanism altogether. If that is not +possible, at first, go in vigorously for physical +and mental distractions, and rigorously control +it, until such a time as you can entirely end it.</p> + +<p>Over-indulgence in intercourse is just as +costly. This may either be socially illicit intercourse, +or intercourse in the marital state. At +times a married couple contains one or both +members with a tendency toward nymphomania, +or excessive desire for men, in the +woman, or toward satyriasis, or excessive desire +for women in the man. If the tendency is +too powerful, society is saved, because the +parties so weaken themselves that reproduction +is impossible, and death or complete mental +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[55]</span>or physical incapacity results. If it is +merely a tendency, it should and must be controlled. +Every man and every woman must +determine for himself and herself the frequency +of intercourse. Women, in general, are less +harmed by excess than men are. But this does +not mean that women cannot carry it to excess. +There is less chance for her doing it, if +she confines her life to one man than if she +chooses many men. The general result of a +woman’s over-indulgence is weakened nervous +conditions, which may even terminate in a +complete mental breakdown, or in insanity.</p> + +<p id="Venereal_Diseases"><i>Venereal Diseases.</i>—The two chief venereal +diseases are gonorrhea and syphilis. So far, +we have voiced a loud outcry against popular +lies concerning sex. Now we will consider +another of these lies, as harmful as any of the +previous ones: namely, that gonorrhea is “no +worse than a cold.” This is commonly accepted +among most men and many women, and many +a good-hearted old family doctor will reassure +the troubled young man or woman with the +same poisonous mental soothing syrup. Gonorrhea, +once contracted, is extremely difficult +to eradicate. Many a man, acquiring it from +a prostitute or promiscuous woman, has infected +his innocent wife; many a man has infected +an otherwise clean woman. Worse, +many an innocent girl, thinking because her +friend is a gentleman and nice in every way, +has only to be repaid by this disease.</p> + +<p>There is a greater penalty than this attached +to the disease. The germs of the disease often +attack the eyes of children of parents one or +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[56]</span>both of whom are afflicted with the disease. +Twenty-five percent of all cases of blindness +are attributed to gonorrhea. This blindness +of children is one of the by-products of a disease +casually dismissed as “no worse than a +cold.”</p> + +<p>Syphilis, the other chief venereal disease, has +been called by eugenists one of the racial +poisons. Any competent medical treatise will +go into details concerning its three stages, its +powerful hold, once contracted, and the details +of symptoms and the long, painful and expensive +method of cure. We will only point out +that it causes general debility, affects every +tissue and organ, causes skin and bone diseases, +as well as arterial diseases. In its later +stages it produces paralysis, blindness, deafness, +disorders of speech, mental enfeeblement, +and locomotor ataxia (a wasting disease of +the spinal cord). And this does not exhaust +the list. The penalty of careless pleasure is +costly.</p> + +<p>Fortunately, the governments of the world +are now taking a hand in eradicating this +worst of all diseases. In its first stages, a +cure is comparatively sure; in the later stages, +the case is often hopeless.</p> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2 class="nobreak" id="VII_IDEALISM">VII. IDEALISM.</h2> + +</div> + +<p id="Chastity"><i>Chastity.</i>—The average mind defines chastity +as abstinence; in this sense, lifelong chastity is, +in most cases, a perversion. The dictionary defines +it as “pure from all unlawful sexual +intercourse.” This gives rise to the question +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[57]</span>as to what is unlawful. Charlotte Perkins Gilman +has accurately defined chastity, “not abstinence, +but selection.” In this sense, chastity +is a virtue.</p> + +<p>Most intelligent persons are willing to recognize +that our moral standards are changing. +They are changing now at a greater rate than +they have for the last thousand years. Woman +is responsible. It has taken that long and +longer for her to acquire enough inner power +to set on foot the forces that could liberate +her from her world-wide subjection to man and +his laws. Now the forces have been liberated, +and the woman of the future will be a freer, +finer and better rounded human being than the +woman of the dark past was. She has acquired +education, a share in the knowledge of the universe +in which she lives. She has acquired a +sounder body, more fit to bear strong children. +She has acquired a strong, well-functioning +mind, thereby giving a better heritage of mental +aptitude to her offspring, and thereby making +herself more fit as a mother to help them in +their formative years. She has acquired at +least a partial control over the essential purse-strings. +She can no longer be bought and sold +as a horse.</p> + +<p>She has at last managed to toss aside the +old double standard of morality. Now she can +demand of her mate either complete monogamy +for both, or her right to share in whatever +laxity he demands.</p> + +<p id="Sexual_Morality"><i>Sexual Morality, Present and Future.</i>—The +keynote of the new sexual morality is freedom +on both sides. This means, first, freedom from +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[58]</span>financial considerations. Love is a deep-rooted +instinct, whose fruition means years or a lifetime +of happiness or unhappiness for the individuals +concerned, and the creation, of the +men and women of the future. None of these +are purchasable commodities. A man cannot +buy a woman’s love, nor a child of his own +breeding to do him honor; neither can either +sex sell these delights. But, in point of fact, +this is just what is done in many cases today, +and is what was the common procedure of fifty +years ago. Under the dying regime, a woman +had to marry for the best home and support +she could get. There was no other way open +to her to obtain these things. A man knew he +could have the best of women for his wife, +if he could pay the price of her support. If a +man was poor, he must accept accordingly. +Men bought women to live with and to mother +their children; women traded their loveliness +for comfort and ease. Neither could buy love, +and neither ever found it, unless the man +found it in his mistress. But even then, under +this ancient order, a man’s mistress looked with +fonder eyes upon his checkbook than upon his +face. Why men chose this beastly course is +more than inexplicable, but they did, and it was +entirely of their own making.</p> + +<p>Women have a different idea on the subject. +They have felt the horror of the man-made way, +and have struggled to end it. They have seen +that the first step toward any equality was to +gain economic equality, and they have wisely +fought for that first. Now, they have just +achieved it. Woman, as a class, has achieved +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[59]</span>financial equality with man. This leaves them +free to set love, and love alone, as a standard +of choice for a mate. The result cannot fail +to be wholesomely uplifting to the entire race. +Love is gradually coming to be experienced for +love only, and not for money.</p> + +<p>The next revolutionary step is the realization +that marriages are not sponsored by a group +of bodiless cherubs, sitting on some remote +cloud in heaven, but are of the earth, earthy, +and are consequently human relationships, of +a contractural nature, which may be terminated +like any other human relationship. Our whole +method of mating is haphazard in the extreme; +there is no provision for adequate knowledge +of the proposed partner; there is no certainty +that this woman or man, thrown in contact with +that man or woman through proximity or unplanned causes, +is a human organism so sensitive physically, +mentally, and spiritually that +it can co-operate helpfully with its mate. Men +and women are doomed to make mistakes. We +are all willing to admit these mistakes in any +field other than the love field, and would hold +a man a fool if he remained under business contract +with a partner absolutely unfitted to associate +with him in that particular enterprise. +Yet, we expect persons who make mistakes in +the matrimonial field to stick it out, regardless +of the unfitness of either member of the agreement.</p> + +<p>It remains for the new morality to propose a +dignified way of terminating such errors. At +the present time, the divorce laws hold in practice +that the man and woman who realize their +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[60]</span>unfitness for each other, and determine to secure +a divorce, are criminals, guilty of collusion; +this at least is the law in many states +and nations. Certain states hold that the +“guilty party” in a divorce action may not remarry. +One party to the action must be considered, +legally at least, a social pariah before +any termination of the marital vows will be allowed. +This is more than absurd, it is brutal. +Divorce laws in harmony with the new morality +will permit a man and woman, who have erred +in their love choice, to part as friends, rather +than as enemies, and will leave no stigma of +shame upon either of them, nor any restrictions +as to their future actions.</p> + +<p>The third, and most radical plan of the new +morality, at least from the purist point of view, +will allow for companionate matings. If a man +or woman, having carefully considered what +may be lost or gained by a wider type of love +relationships, determines to risk the experiments +without taking advantage of other women +or men, this is an individual choice; and the +new morality, in all matters, is giving the individual +as much intelligent choice as it can, +consonant with social safety. Such adventures +are like laboratory experiments in eugenics for +the good of the race; they may result in unhappiness, +but the very discovery that unhappiness +has resulted is a social fact which may +aid future decisions. There will be no blame +attached to the experiment if it fails, no insult +visited upon the participators. If the reverse +is true, and happiness results, this is also a +social fact which may aid future decisions. In +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[61]</span>any event, it will be regarded as a legitimate +experiment, attaching praise rather than blame +on those who, in the full possession of their +faculties, and after mature consideration, enter +upon it.</p> + +<p>The first question to arise, in connection with +this idea, is that of the home and the children. +Neither of these, in their present condition, +are matters of unusual human glory. Charlotte +Perkins Gilman’s extended studies of each are +recommended for reading. They offer a new +and intelligent slant upon our homes and our +child-rearing. Motherhood is unquestionably a +great benefit to society. It is of greater value +to society than to the individual. Motherhood +pensions and similar remedies are steps toward +a social repayment of this benefit. These matters +are all experimental. It is not suggested +that any young couple start to put them into +immediate practice. The important thing is to +realize their imminence, and to regard them +with something of a scientific detachment, +rather than with a bitter bias and prejudice. +All of these absurd prejudices are alien to +human instincts, and are based upon Moses’ +translation of thundering over a mountain top. +We are tending toward efficiency in all human +concerns upon the industrial field; let us tend +also upon the extension of efficiency to matters +concerning the home.</p> + +<p>Woman’s work in the home will not always +remain the low domestic thing that it is. Scientific +information and the aid of experts are +invaluable in home management and child-rearing, +no less than in the rotation of crops +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[62]</span>and the development of fatter hogs and slimmer +dahlia stems. Child rearing will some day be +included in matters where efficiency and modern +methods will prevail. This may very well +involve some form of institutional raising. If +such is the case, it will be wise to understand +in advance that this will date from a period +when our culture is determined by human beings +more than by money; and that the institutions +of the future will be administered by +those who today make a success of their individual +establishments, rather than by those +who today make a failure of the institutions +entrusted to their care. Against this theory, +most persons advance the objection that the +majority of present day institutions are failures. +This does not necessarily imply that those +of the future, once wisely conceived, and adequately +run, will be failures. There was a +time when any man could start a small furnace +and manufacture steel, if he wished to. Each +small manufacturer competed with another +equally small. Some produced good material, +others poor. Would anyone suggest that the +U. S. Steel Company be returned to that condition? +So will people of the future, when +enlightenment has come to them, realize the +advantages accruing from specialized rearing +of children by competent persons, over the present +haphazard system.</p> + +<p>There are comparatively few women who are +fitted for maternity. It requires more than +love. It requires tact, patience, infinite interest +in the small minds. Not one woman in one +hundred is so equipped. Nor, would fifty percent +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[63]</span>of the women of today choose maternity, +if they thought they could reject it honorably. +Women become mothers, in at least fifty percent +of the cases, first because they do not +know how to avoid it, second because they believed +it a social obligation. Many mothers +never learn to love their children, consequently, +their care of them is a drudgery that is ruinous +to parent and child alike.</p> + +<p>In this one matter of the home, woman is +remaining backward. She has accepted all +other advances, but she will not learn to systematize +her home. She hoots at all scientific +advice. There have been institutions working +for years to lighten woman’s labor in the home, +and not one woman in a thousand has accepted +their findings. Most women sacrifice their +lives to household drudgery, toiling daily over +scrub board, mop, and stove, despite the fact +that even now, all of this work can be cut in +half by a small amount of systematizing, and +the use of scientific appliances. The day will +come, however, when woman will be converted +to these things, and then her life will be freer +for other enjoyment.</p> + +<p id="The_Purity_Ideal"><i>The Purity Ideal.</i>—Nine out of ten of the +women who accept the ideal of virginity as that +of purity have no idea where this delusion +originated. The theory of woman’s innocence +and purity was launched during the days of +chivalry. Even modern women have a soft +spot in their hearts for chivalry. What was +it? Was it the high and noble Galahad belief +that women were superior spiritual beings, far +above the touch of mere man? If so, man’s +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[64]</span>actions have never proved it. It was not. In +a few words, men put women on a so-called +pedestal, not to worship her, but to keep her +from seeing what they were doing. They told +her the world was a low place, and they would +shield her from it, and women, blinded by flattery, +fell for the hoax. Men have never really +reverenced women. A few have reverenced one +woman, mother, wife or sister. But the fundamental +reason for their so doing was not to +do honor to her, but to keep her ignorant of +what they were doing. Men realized, either +consciously or unconsciously, that they could +rule the world only so long as women were +ignorant of its customs and habits. An ignorant +foe is no foe. Therefore, so long as women were +kept in ignorance, they could not threaten +man’s supremacy.</p> + +<p>Face this fact, all women. Stop yielding to +the silly, hypocritical sham of chivalry, and +your progress in man’s world will be made in +rapid, shining strides.</p> + +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 78407 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/78407-h/images/cover.jpg b/78407-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b4e74a5 --- /dev/null +++ b/78407-h/images/cover.jpg |
