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+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Samantha on the Woman Question, by Marietta Holley</title>
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+
+<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold;'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Samantha on the Woman Question, by Marietta Holley</div>
+<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
+most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
+whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
+of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
+at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
+are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
+country where you are located before using this eBook.
+</div>
+<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Samantha on the Woman Question</div>
+<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Marietta Holley</div>
+<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0'>Release Date: May 20, 2003 [eBook #7833]<br />
+[Most recently updated: February 15, 2021]</div>
+<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
+<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div>
+<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Eric Eldred, William Flis and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team</div>
+<div style='margin-top:2em;margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA ON THE WOMAN QUESTION ***</div>
+
+<h1>Samantha on the Woman Question</h1>
+
+<h2 class="no-break">by Marietta Holley</h2>
+
+<h3>&ldquo;Josiah Allen&rsquo;s Wife&rdquo;</h3>
+
+<h3>Author of</h3>
+
+<h3>&ldquo;Samantha at Saratoga,&rdquo; &ldquo;My Opinions&rdquo; and
+&ldquo;Betsey Bobbet&rsquo;s,&rdquo; etc.</h3>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h2>Contents</h2>
+
+<table summary="" style="">
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap01">I. &ldquo;SHE WANTED HER RIGHTS&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap02">II. &ldquo;THEY CAN&rsquo;T BLAME HER&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap03">III. &ldquo;POLLY&rsquo;S EYES GROWED TENDER&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap04">IV. &ldquo;STRIVIN&rsquo; WITH THE EMISSARY&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap05">V. &ldquo;HE WUZ DRETFUL POLITE&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap06">VI. &ldquo;CONCERNING MOTH-MILLERS AND MINNY FISH&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap07">VII. &ldquo;NO HAMPERIN&rsquo; HITCHIN&rsquo; STRAPS&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap08">VIII. &ldquo;OLD MOM NATER LISTENIN&rsquo;&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap09">IX. THE WOMEN&rsquo;S PARADE</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#chap10">X. &ldquo;THE CREATION SEARCHIN&rsquo; SOCIETY&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+</table>
+
+<div class="fig" style="width:100%;">
+<a name="illus01"></a>
+<a href="images/sam001.jpg">
+<img src="images/sam001.jpg" width="406" height="600" alt="Illustration:" /></a>
+<p class="caption">&ldquo;And I wonder if there is a woman in the land that can
+blame Serepta for wantin&rsquo; her rights.&rdquo;</p>
+</div>
+
+<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
+
+<table summary="" style="">
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#illus01">&ldquo;AND I WONDER IF THERE&rsquo;S A WOMAN IN THE
+LAND THAT CAN BLAME SEREPTA FOR WANTIN&rsquo; HER RIGHTS&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#illus02">&ldquo;I WANTED TO VISIT THE CAPITOL OF OUR COUNTRY....
+SO WE LAID OUT TO GO&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#illus03">&ldquo;HE&rsquo;D ENTERED POLITICAL LIFE WHERE THE
+BIBLE WUZN&rsquo;T POPULAR; HE&rsquo;D NEVER READ FURTHER THAN GULLIVER&rsquo;S
+EPISTLE TO THE LILIPUTIANS&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+<td> <a href="#illus04">&ldquo;SEZ JOSIAH, &lsquo;DOES THAT THING KNOW ENOUGH
+TO VOTE?&rsquo;&rdquo;</a></td>
+</tr>
+
+</table>
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap01"></a>I.<br />
+&ldquo;SHE WANTED HER RIGHTS&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+Lorinda Cagwin invited Josiah and me to a reunion of the Allen family at her
+home nigh Washington, D.C., the birthplace of the first Allen we knowed
+anything about, and Josiah said:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Bein&rsquo; one of the best lookin&rsquo; and influential Allens on
+earth now, it would be expected on him to attend to it.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I fell in with the idee, partly to be done as I would be done by if it wuz
+the relation on my side, and partly because by goin&rsquo; I could hit two
+birds with one stun, as the poet sez. Indeed, I could hit four on &rsquo;em.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+My own cousin, Diantha Trimble, lived in a city nigh Lorinda&rsquo;s and I had
+promised to visit her if I wuz ever nigh her, and help bear her burdens for a
+spell, of which burden more anon and bom-by.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Diantha wuz one bird, the Reunion another, and the third bird I had in my
+mind&rsquo;s eye wuz the big outdoor meeting of the suffragists that wuz to be
+held in the city where Diantha lived, only a little ways from Lorinda&rsquo;s.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And the fourth bird and the biggest one I wuz aimin&rsquo; to hit from this
+tower of ourn wuz Washington, D.C. I wanted to visit the Capitol of our
+country, the center of our great civilization that stands like the sun in the
+solar system, sendin&rsquo; out beams of power and wisdom and law and order,
+and justice and injustice, and money and oratory, and talk and talk, and wind
+and everything, to the uttermost points of our vast possessions, and from them
+clear to the ends of the earth. I wanted to see it, I wanted to like a dog. So
+we laid out to go.
+</p>
+
+<div class="fig" style="width:100%;">
+<a name="illus02"></a>
+<a href="images/sam008.jpg">
+<img src="images/sam008.jpg" width="600" height="454" alt="Illustration:" /></a>
+<p class="caption">&ldquo;I wanted to visit the Capitol of our country.... So
+we laid out to go.&rdquo;</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>
+Lorinda lived on the old Allen place, and I always sot store by her, and her
+girl, Polly, wuz, as Thomas J. said, a peach. She had spent one of her college
+vacations with us, and a sweeter, prettier, brighter girl I don&rsquo;t want to
+see. Her name is Pauline, but everybody calls her Polly.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+The Cagwins are rich, and Polly had every advantage money could give, and old
+Mom Nater gin her a lot of advantages money couldn&rsquo;t buy, beauty and
+intellect, a big generous heart and charm. And you know the Cagwins
+couldn&rsquo;t bought that at no price. Charm in a girl is like the perfume in
+a rose, and can&rsquo;t be bought or sold. And you can&rsquo;t handle or
+describe either on &rsquo;em exactly. But what a influence they have; how they
+lay holt of your heart and fancy.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Royal Gray, the young man who wuz payin&rsquo; attention to her, stopped once
+for a day or two in Jonesville with Polly and her Ma on their way to the
+Cagwins&rsquo; camp in the Adirondacks. And we all liked him so well that we
+agreed in givin&rsquo; him this extraordinary praise, we said he wuz worthy of
+Polly, we knowed of course that wuz the highest enconium possible for us to
+give.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Good lookin&rsquo;, smart as a whip, and deep, you could see that by
+lookin&rsquo; into his eyes, half laughin&rsquo; and half serious eyes and
+kinder sad lookin&rsquo; too under the fun, as eyes must be in this world of
+ourn if they look back fur, or ahead much of any. A queer world this is, and
+kinder sad and mysterious, behind all the good and glory on&rsquo;t.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He wuz jest out of Harvard school and as full of life and sperits as a colt let
+loose in a clover field. He went out in the hay field, he and Polly, and rode
+home on top of a load of hay jest as nateral and easy and bare-headed as if he
+wuz workin&rsquo; for wages, and he the only son of a millionaire&mdash;we all
+took to him.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, when the news got out that I wuz goin&rsquo; to visit Washington, D.C.,
+all the neighbors wanted to send errents by me. Betsy Bobbet Slimpsey wanted a
+dozen Patent Office books for scrap books for her poetry.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Uncle Nate Gowdey wanted me to go to the Agricultural Buro and git him a paper
+of lettuce seed. And Solomon Sypher wanted me to git him a new kind of string
+beans and some cowcumber seeds.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Uncle Jarvis Bentley, who wuz goin&rsquo; to paint his house, wanted me to ask
+the President what kind of paint he used on the White House. He thought it ort
+to be a extra kind to stand the sharp glare that wuz beatin&rsquo; down on it
+constant, and to ask him if he didn&rsquo;t think the paint would last longer
+and the glare be mollified some if they used pure white and clear ile in it,
+and left off whitewash and karseen.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Ardelia Rumsey, who is goin&rsquo; to be married, wanted me, if I see any new
+kinds of bedquilt patterns at the White House or the Senator&rsquo;s housen, to
+git patterns for &rsquo;em. She said she wuz sick of sun flowers and
+blazin&rsquo; stars. She thought mebby they&rsquo;d have sunthin&rsquo; new,
+spread eagle style. She said her feller wuz goin&rsquo; to be connected with
+the Govermunt and she thought it would be appropriate.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I asked her how. And she said he wuz goin&rsquo; to git a patent on a new
+kind of jack knife.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I told her that if she wanted a govermunt quilt and wanted it appropriate she
+ort to have a crazy quilt.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And she said she had jest finished a crazy quilt with seven thousand pieces of
+silk in it, and each piece trimmed with seven hundred stitches of feather
+stitchin&rsquo;&mdash;she&rsquo;d counted &rsquo;em. And then I remembered
+seein&rsquo; it. There wuz a petition fer wimmen&rsquo;s rights and I remember
+Ardelia couldn&rsquo;t sign it for lack of time. She wanted to, but she
+hadn&rsquo;t got the quilt more than half done. It took the biggest heft of two
+years to do it. And so less important things had to be put aside.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And Ardelia&rsquo;s mother wanted to sign it, but she couldn&rsquo;t
+owin&rsquo; to a bed-spread she wuz makin&rsquo;. She wuz quiltin&rsquo; in
+Noah&rsquo;s Ark and all the animals on a Turkey red quilt. I remember she wuz
+quiltin&rsquo; the camel that day and couldn&rsquo;t be disturbed, so we
+didn&rsquo;t git the names. It took the old lady three years, and when it wuz
+done it wuz a sight to behold, though I wouldn&rsquo;t want to sleep under so
+many animals. But folks went from fur and near to see it, and I enjoyed
+lookin&rsquo; at it that day.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Zebulin Coon wanted me to carry a new hen coop of hisen to git patented. And I
+thought to myself I wonder if they will ask me to carry a cow.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And sure enough Elnathan Purdy wanted me to dicker for a calf from Mount
+Vernon, swop one of his yearlin&rsquo;s for it.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But the errents Serepta Pester sent wuz fur more hefty and momentous than all
+the rest put together, calves, hen coop, cow and all.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And when she told &rsquo;em over to me, and I meditated on her reasons for
+sendin&rsquo; &rsquo;em and her need of havin&rsquo; &rsquo;em done, I felt
+that I would do the errents for her if a breath wuz left in my body. She come
+for a all day&rsquo;s visit; and though she is a vegetable widow and humbly, I
+wuz middlin&rsquo; glad to see her. But thinkses I as I carried her things into
+my bedroom, &ldquo;She&rsquo;ll want to send some errent by me&rdquo;; and I
+wondered what it would be.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And so it didn&rsquo;t surprise me when she asked me if I would lobby a little
+for her in Washington. I spozed it wuz some new kind of tattin&rsquo; or fancy
+work. I told her I shouldn&rsquo;t have much time but would try to git her some
+if I could.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And she said she wanted me to lobby myself. And then I thought mebby it wuz a
+new kind of dance and told her, &ldquo;I wuz too old to lobby, I hadn&rsquo;t
+lobbied a step since I wuz married.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And then she explained she wanted me to canvas some of the Senators.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I hung back and asked her in a cautious tone, &ldquo;How many she wanted
+canvassed, and how much canvas it would take?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I had a good many things to buy for my tower, and though I wanted to obleege
+Serepta, I didn&rsquo;t feel like runnin&rsquo; into any great expense for
+canvas.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And then she broke off from that subject, and said she wanted her rights and
+wanted the Whiskey Ring broke up.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And she talked a sight about her children, and how bad she felt to be parted
+from &rsquo;em, and how she used to worship her husband and how her hull life
+wuz ruined and the Whiskey Ring had done it, that and wimmen&rsquo;s helpless
+condition under the law and she cried and wep&rsquo; and I did. And right while
+I wuz cryin&rsquo; onto that gingham apron, she made me promise to carry them
+two errents of hern to the President and git &rsquo;em done for her if I
+possibly could.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+She wanted the Whiskey Ring destroyed and her rights, and she wanted &rsquo;em
+both inside of two weeks.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I told her I didn&rsquo;t believe she could git &rsquo;em done inside that
+length of time, but I would tell the President about it, and I thought
+more&rsquo;n likely as not he would want to do right by her. &ldquo;And,&rdquo;
+sez I, &ldquo;if he sets out to, he can haul them babies of yourn out of that
+Ring pretty sudden.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And then to git her mind offen her sufferin&rsquo;s, I asked how her sister
+Azuba wuz gittin&rsquo; along? I hadn&rsquo;t heard from her for years. She
+married Phileman Clapsaddle, and Serepty spoke out as bitter as a bitter
+walnut, and sez she:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;She&rsquo;s in the poor-house.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why, Serepta Pester!&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;what do you mean?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I mean what I say, my sister, Azuba Clapsaddle, is in the
+poor-house.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why, where is their property gone?&rdquo; sez I. &ldquo;They wuz well
+off. Azuba had five thousand dollars of her own when she married him.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I know it,&rdquo; sez she, &ldquo;and I can tell you, Josiah
+Allen&rsquo;s wife, where their property has gone, it has gone down Phileman
+Clapsaddle&rsquo;s throat. Look down that man&rsquo;s throat and you will see
+150 acres of land, a good house and barn, twenty sheep and forty head of
+cattle.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why-ee!&rdquo; sez I.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes, and you&rsquo;ll see four mules, a span of horses, two buggies, a
+double sleigh, and three buffalo robes. He&rsquo;s drinked &rsquo;em all up,
+and two horse rakes, a cultivator, and a thrashin&rsquo; machine.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why-ee!&rdquo; sez I agin. &ldquo;And where are the children?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;The boys have inherited their father&rsquo;s habits and drink as bad as
+he duz and the oldest girl has gone to the bad.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Oh dear! oh dear me!&rdquo; sez I, and we both sot silent for a spell.
+And then thinkin&rsquo; I must say sunthin&rsquo; and wantin&rsquo; to strike a
+safe subject and a good lookin&rsquo; one, I sez:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Where is your Aunt Cassandra&rsquo;s girl? That pretty girl I see to
+your house once?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;That girl is in the lunatick asylum.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Serepta Pester,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;be you tellin&rsquo; the
+truth?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes, I be, the livin&rsquo; truth. She went to New York to buy millinery
+goods for her mother&rsquo;s store. It wuz quite cool when she left home and
+she hadn&rsquo;t took off her winter clothes, and it come on brilin&rsquo; hot
+in the city, and in goin&rsquo; about from store to store the heat and hard
+work overcome her and she fell down in a sort of faintin&rsquo; fit and wuz
+called drunk and dragged off to a police court by a man who wuz a animal in
+human shape. And he misused her in such a way that she never got over the
+horror of what befell her when she come to to find herself at the mercy of a
+brute in a man&rsquo;s shape. She went into a melancholy madness and wuz sent
+to the asylum.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I sithed a long and mournful sithe and sot silent agin for quite a spell. But
+thinkin&rsquo; I must be sociable I sez: &ldquo;Your aunt Cassandra is well, I
+spoze?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;She is moulderin&rsquo; in jail,&rdquo; sez she.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;In jail? Cassandra in jail!&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes, in jail.&rdquo; And Serepta&rsquo;s tone wuz now like worm-wood and
+gall.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;You know she owns a big property in tenement houses and other buildings
+where she lives. Of course her taxes wuz awful high, and she didn&rsquo;t
+expect to have any voice in tellin&rsquo; how that money, a part of her own
+property that she earned herself in a store, should be used. But she had been
+taxed high for new sidewalks in front of some of her buildin&rsquo;s. And then
+another man come into power in that ward, and he naterally wanted to make some
+money out of her, so he ordered her to build new sidewalks. And she
+wouldn&rsquo;t tear up a good sidewalk to please him or anybody else, so she
+wuz put to jail for refusin&rsquo; to comply with the law.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Thinkses I, I don&rsquo;t believe the law would have been so hard on her if she
+hadn&rsquo;t been so humbly. The Pesters are a humbly lot. But I didn&rsquo;t
+think it out loud, and didn&rsquo;t ophold the law for feelin&rsquo; so. I sez
+in pityin&rsquo; tones, for I wuz truly sorry for Cassandra Keeler:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;How did it end?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;It hain&rsquo;t ended,&rdquo; sez she, &ldquo;it only took place a month
+ago and she has got her grit up and won&rsquo;t pay; and no knowin&rsquo; how
+it will end; she lays there amoulderin&rsquo;.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I don&rsquo;t believe Cassanda wuz mouldy, but that is Serepta&rsquo;s way of
+talkin&rsquo;, very flowery.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;do you think the weather is goin&rsquo; to
+moderate?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I truly felt that I dassent speak to her about any human bein&rsquo; under the
+sun, not knowin&rsquo; what turn she would give to the talk, bein&rsquo; so
+embittered. But I felt that the weather wuz safe, and cotton stockin&rsquo;s,
+and hens, and factory cloth, and I kep&rsquo; her down on them for more&rsquo;n
+two hours.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But good land! I can&rsquo;t blame her for bein&rsquo; embittered agin men and
+the laws they&rsquo;ve made, for it seems as if I never see a human creeter so
+afflicted as Serepta Pester has been all her life.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Why, her sufferin&rsquo;s date back before she wuz born, and that&rsquo;s
+goin&rsquo; pretty fur back. Her father and mother had some difficulty and he
+wuz took down with billerous colick, voylent four weeks before Serepta wuz
+born. And some think it wuz the hardness between &rsquo;em and some think it
+wuz the gripin&rsquo; of the colick when he made his will, anyway he willed
+Serepta away, boy or girl whichever it wuz, to his brother up on the Canada
+line.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+So when Serepta wuz born (and born a girl ontirely onbeknown to her) she wuz
+took right away from her mother and gin to this brother. Her mother
+couldn&rsquo;t help herself, he had the law on his side. But it killed her. She
+drooped away and died before the baby wuz a year old. She wuz a affectionate,
+tenderhearted woman and her husband wuz overbearin&rsquo; and stern always.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But it wuz this last move of hisen that killed her, for it is pretty tough on a
+mother to have her baby, a part of her own life, took right out of her own arms
+and gin to a stranger. For this uncle of hern wuz a entire stranger to Serepta,
+and almost like a stranger to her father, for he hadn&rsquo;t seen him since he
+wuz a boy, but knew he hadn&rsquo;t any children and spozed that he wuz rich
+and respectable. But the truth wuz he had been runnin&rsquo; down every way,
+had lost his property and his character, wuz dissipated and mean. But the will
+wuz made and the law stood. Men are ashamed now to think that the law wuz ever
+in voge, but it wuz, and is now in some of the states, and the poor young
+mother couldn&rsquo;t help herself. It has always been the boast of our
+American law that it takes care of wimmen. It took care of her. It held her in
+its strong protectin&rsquo; grasp so tight that the only way she could slip out
+of it wuz to drop into the grave, which she did in a few months. Then it leggo.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But it kep&rsquo; holt of Serepta, it bound her tight to her uncle while he run
+through with what property she had, while he sunk lower and lower until at last
+he needed the very necessaries of life and then he bound her out to work to a
+woman who kep&rsquo; a drinkin&rsquo; den and the lowest hant of vice.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Twice Serepta run away, bein&rsquo; virtuous but humbly, but them strong
+protectin&rsquo; arms of the law that had held her mother so tight reached out
+and dragged her back agin. Upheld by them her uncle could compel her to give
+her service wherever he wanted her to work, and he wuz owin&rsquo; this woman
+and she wanted Serepta&rsquo;s work, so she had to submit.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But the third time she made a effort so voyalent that she got away. A good
+woman, who bein&rsquo; nothin&rsquo; but a woman couldn&rsquo;t do anything
+towards onclinchin&rsquo; them powerful arms that wuz protectin&rsquo; her,
+helped her to slip through &rsquo;em. And Serepta come to Jonesville to live
+with a sister of that good woman; changed her name so&rsquo;s it wouldn&rsquo;t
+be so easy to find her; grew up to be a nice industrious girl. And when the
+woman she wuz took by died she left Serepta quite a handsome property.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And finally she married Lank Burpee, and did considerable well it wuz spozed.
+Her property, put with what little he had, made &rsquo;em a comfortable home
+and they had two pretty children, a boy and a girl. But when the little girl
+wuz a baby he took to drinkin&rsquo;, neglected his bizness, got mixed up with
+a whiskey ring, whipped Serepta&mdash;not so very hard. He went accordin&rsquo;
+to law, and the law of the United States don&rsquo;t approve of a man&rsquo;s
+whippin&rsquo; his wife enough to endanger her life, it sez it don&rsquo;t. He
+made every move of hisen lawful and felt that Serepta hadn&rsquo;t ort to
+complain and feel hurt. But a good whippin&rsquo; will make anybody feel hurt,
+law or no law. And then he parted with her and got her property and her two
+little children. Why, it seemed as if everything under the sun and moon, that
+could happen to a woman, had happened to Serepta, painful things and
+gauldin&rsquo;.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Jest before Lank parted with her, she fell on a broken sidewalk: some think he
+tripped her up, but it never wuz proved. But anyway Serepta fell and broke her
+hip hone; and her husband sued the corporation and got ten thousand dollars for
+it. Of course the law give the money to him and she never got a cent of it. But
+she wouldn&rsquo;t have made any fuss over that, knowin&rsquo; that the law of
+the United States wuz such. But what made it so awful mortifyin&rsquo; to her
+wuz, that while she wuz layin&rsquo; there achin&rsquo; in splints, he took
+that very money and used it to court up another woman with. Gin her presents,
+jewelry, bunnets, head-dresses, artificial flowers out of Serepta&rsquo;s own
+hip money.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I don&rsquo;t know as anything could be much more gauldin&rsquo; to a woman
+than that&mdash;while she lay there groanin&rsquo; in splints, to have her
+husband take the money for her own broken bones and dress up another woman like
+a doll with it.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But the law gin it to him, and he wuz only availin&rsquo; himself of the
+glorious liberty of our free Republic, and doin&rsquo; as he wuz a mind to. And
+it wuz spozed that that very hip money wuz what made the match. For before she
+wuz fairly out of splints he got a divorce from her and married agin. And by
+the help of Serepta&rsquo;s hip money and the Whiskey Ring he got her two
+little children away from her.
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap02"></a>II.<br />
+&ldquo;THEY CAN&rsquo;T BLAME HER&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+And I wonder if there is a woman in the land that can blame Serepta for
+gittin&rsquo; mad and wantin&rsquo; her rights and wantin&rsquo; the Whiskey
+Ring broke up, when they think how she&rsquo;s been fooled round with by men;
+willed away, and whipped, and parted with, and stole from. Why, they
+can&rsquo;t blame her for feelin&rsquo; fairly savage about &rsquo;em, as she
+duz.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+For as she sez to me once, when we wuz talkin&rsquo; it over, how everything
+had happened to her. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; sez she, with a axent like bone-set and
+vinegar, &ldquo;and what few things hain&rsquo;t happened to me has happened to
+my folks.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And sure enough I couldn&rsquo;t dispute her. Trouble and wrongs and
+sufferin&rsquo;s seemed to be epidemic in the race of Pester wimmen. Why, one
+of her aunts on her father&rsquo;s side, Huldah Pester, married for her first
+husband, Eliphelet Perkins. He wuz a minister, rode on a circuit, and he took
+Huldah on it too, and she rode round with him on it a good deal of the time.
+But she never loved to, she wuz a woman that loved to be still, and kinder
+settled down at home.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But she loved Eliphelet so well that she would do anything to please him, so
+she rode round with him on that circuit till she wuz perfectly fagged out.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He wuz a dretful good man to her, but he wuz kinder poor and they had hard
+times to git along. But what property they had wuzn&rsquo;t taxed, so that
+helped some, and Huldah would make one dollar go a good ways.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+No, their property wuzn&rsquo;t taxed till Eliphelet died. Then the supervisor
+taxed it the very minute the breath left his body; run his horse, so it wuz
+said, so&rsquo;s to be sure to git it onto the tax list, and comply with the
+law.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+You see Eliphelet&rsquo;s salary stopped when his breath did. And I spoze the
+law thought, seein&rsquo; she wuz havin&rsquo; trouble, she might jest as well
+have a little more; so it taxed all the property it never had taxed a cent for
+before.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But she had this to console her that the law didn&rsquo;t forgit her in her
+widowhood. No; the law is quite thoughtful of wimmen by spells. It sez it
+protects wimmen. And I spoze that in some mysterious way, too deep for wimmen
+to understand, it wuz protectin&rsquo; her now.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, she suffered along and finally married agin. I wondered why she did. But
+she wuz such a quiet, home-lovin&rsquo; woman that it wuz spozed she wanted to
+settle down and be kinder still and sot. But of all the bad luck she had. She
+married on short acquaintance, and he proved to be a perfect wanderer. He
+couldn&rsquo;t keep still, it wuz spozed to be a mark.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He moved Huldah thirteen times in two years, and at last he took her into a
+cart, a sort of covered wagon, and traveled right through the western states
+with her. He wanted to see the country and loved to live in the wagon, it wuz
+his make. And, of course, the law give him control of her body, and she had to
+go where he moved it, or else part with him. And I spoze the law thought it wuz
+guardin&rsquo; and nourishin&rsquo; her when it wuz joltin&rsquo; her over them
+prairies and mountains and abysses. But it jest kep&rsquo; her shook up the
+hull of the time.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+It wuz the regular Pester luck.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And then another of her aunts, Drusilly Pester, married a industrious,
+hard-workin&rsquo; man, one that never drinked, wuz sound on the doctrines, and
+give good measure to his customers, he wuz a groceryman. And a master hand for
+wantin&rsquo; to foller the laws of his country as tight as laws could be
+follered. And so knowin&rsquo; that the law approved of moderate correction for
+wimmen, and that &ldquo;a man might whip his wife, but not enough to endanger
+her life&rdquo;; he bein&rsquo; such a master hand for wantin&rsquo; to do
+everything faithful and do his very best for his customers, it wuz spozed he
+wanted to do the best for the law, and so when he got to whippin&rsquo;
+Drusilly, he would whip her too severe, he would be too faithful to it.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+You see what made him whip her at all wuz she wuz cross to him. They had nine
+little children, she thought two or three children would be about all one woman
+could bring up well by hand, when that hand wuz so stiff and sore with hard
+work.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But he had read some scareful talk from high quarters about Race Suicide. Some
+men do git real wrought up about it and want everybody to have all the children
+they can, jest as fast as they can, though wimmen don&rsquo;t all feel so.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Aunt Hetty Sidman said, &ldquo;If men had to born &rsquo;em and nuss &rsquo;em
+themselves, she didn&rsquo;t spoze they would be so enthusiastick about it
+after they had had a few, &lsquo;specially if they done their own housework
+themselves,&rdquo; and Aunt Hetty said that some of the men who wuz
+exhortin&rsquo; wimmen to have big families, had better spend some of their
+strength and wind in tryin&rsquo; to make this world a safer place for children
+to be born into.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+She said they&rsquo;d be better off in Nonentity than here in this world with
+saloons on every corner, and war-dogs howlin&rsquo; at &rsquo;em.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I don&rsquo;t know exactly what she meant by Nonentity, but guess she meant the
+world we all stay in, before we are born into this one.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Aunt Hetty has lost five boys, two by battle and three by licensed saloons,
+that makes her talk real bitter, but to resoom. I told Josiah that men
+needn&rsquo;t worry about Race Suicide, for you might as well try to stop a hen
+from makin&rsquo; a nest, as to stop wimmen from wantin&rsquo; a baby to love
+and hold on her heart. But sez I, &ldquo;Folks ort to be moderate and mejum in
+babies as well as in everything else.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But Drusilly&rsquo;s husband wanted twelve boys he said, to be
+law-abidin&rsquo; citizens as their Pa wuz, and a protection to the Govermunt,
+and to be ready to man the new warships, if a war broke out. But her babies wuz
+real pretty and cunning, and she wuz so weak-minded she couldn&rsquo;t enjoy
+the thought that if our male statesmen got to scrappin&rsquo; with some other
+nation&rsquo;s male law-makers and made another war, of havin&rsquo; her
+grown-up babies face the cannons. I spoze it wuz when she wuz so awful tired
+she felt so.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+You see she had to do every mite of her housework, and milk cows, and make
+butter and cheese, and cook and wash and scour, and take all the care of the
+children day and night in sickness and health, and make their clothes and keep
+&rsquo;em clean. And when there wuz so many of &rsquo;em and she enjoyin&rsquo;
+real poor health, I spoze she sometimes thought more of her own achin&rsquo;
+back than she did of the good of the Govermunt&mdash;and she would git kinder
+discouraged sometimes and be cross to him. And knowin&rsquo; his own motives
+wuz so high and loyal, he felt that he ort to whip her, so he did.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And what shows that Drusilly wuzn&rsquo;t so bad after all and did have her
+good streaks and a deep reverence for the law is, that she stood his
+whippin&rsquo;s first-rate, and never whipped him. Now she wuz fur bigger than
+he wuz, weighed eighty pounds the most, and might have whipped him if the law
+had been such. But they wuz both law-abidin&rsquo; and wanted to keep every
+preamble, so she stood it to be whipped, and never once whipped him in all the
+seventeen years they lived together. She died when her twelfth child wuz born.
+There wuz jest ten months difference between that and the one next older. And
+they said she often spoke out in her last sickness, and said, &ldquo;Thank
+fortune, I&rsquo;ve always kep&rsquo; the law!&rdquo; And they said the same
+thought wuz a great comfort to him in his last moments. He died about a year
+after she did, leavin&rsquo; his second wife with twins and a good property.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Then there wuz Abagail Pester. She married a sort of a high-headed man, though
+one that paid his debts, wuz truthful, good lookin&rsquo;, and played well on
+the fiddle. Why, it seemed as if he had almost every qualification for
+makin&rsquo; a woman happy, only he had this one little eccentricity, he would
+lock up Abagail&rsquo;s clothes every time he got mad at her.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Of course the law give her clothes to him, and knowin&rsquo; that it wuz the
+law in the state where they lived, she wouldn&rsquo;t have complained only when
+they had company. But it wuz mortifyin&rsquo;, nobody could dispute it, to have
+company come and have nothin&rsquo; to put on. Several times she had to
+withdraw into the woodhouse, and stay most all day there shiverin&rsquo;, and
+under the suller stairs and round in clothes presses. But he boasted in prayer
+meetin&rsquo;s and on boxes before grocery stores that he wuz a
+law-abidin&rsquo; citizen, and he wuz. Eben Flanders wouldn&rsquo;t lie for
+anybody.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I&rsquo;ll bet Abagail Flanders beat our old revolutionary four-mothers in
+thinkin&rsquo; out new laws, when she lay round under stairs and behind barrels
+in her night-gown. When a man hides his wife&rsquo;s stockin&rsquo;s and
+petticoats it is governin&rsquo; without the consent of the governed. If you
+don&rsquo;t believe it you&rsquo;d ort to peeked round them barrels and seen
+Abagail&rsquo;s eyes, they had hull reams of by-laws in &rsquo;em and
+preambles, and Declarations of Independence, so I&rsquo;ve been told. But it
+beat everything I ever hearn on, the lawful sufferin&rsquo;s of them wimmen.
+For there wuzn&rsquo;t nothin&rsquo; illegal about one single trouble of
+theirn. They suffered accordin&rsquo; to law, every one on &rsquo;em. But it
+wuz tuff for &rsquo;em, very tuff. And their bein&rsquo; so dretful humbly wuz
+another drawback to &rsquo;em, though that too wuz perfectly lawful, as
+everybody knows.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And Serepta looked as bad agin as she would otherwise on account of her teeth.
+It wuz after Lank had begun to git after this other woman, and wuz indifferent
+to his wife&rsquo;s looks that Serepta had a new set of teeth on her upper jaw.
+And they sot out and made her look so bad it fairly made her ache to look at
+herself in the glass. And they hurt her gooms too, and she carried &rsquo;em
+back to the dentist and wanted him to make her another set, but he acted mean
+and wouldn&rsquo;t take &rsquo;em back, and sued Lank for the pay. And they had
+a law-suit. And the law bein&rsquo; such that a woman can&rsquo;t testify in
+court, in any matter that is of mutual interest to husband and wife, and Lank
+wantin&rsquo; to act mean, said that they wuz good sound teeth.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And there Serepta sot right in front of &rsquo;em with her gooms achin&rsquo;
+and her face all swelled out, and lookin&rsquo; like furiation, and
+couldn&rsquo;t say a word. But she had to give in to the law. And ruther than
+go toothless she wears &rsquo;em to this day, and I believe it is the
+raspin&rsquo; of them teeth aginst her gooms and her discouraged, mad
+feelin&rsquo;s every time she looks in the glass that helps embitter her
+towards men, and the laws men have made, so&rsquo;s a woman can&rsquo;t have
+control of her own teeth and her own bones.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Serepta went home about 5 P.M., I promisin&rsquo; sacred to do her errents for
+her.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I gin a deep, happy sithe after I shot the door behind her, and I sez to
+Josiah I do hope that&rsquo;s the very last errent we will have to carry to
+Washington, D.C., for the Jonesvillians.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; says he, &ldquo;an&rsquo; I guess I will get a fresh pail of
+water and hang on the tea kettle for you.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;And,&rdquo; I says, &ldquo;it&rsquo;s pretty early for supper, but
+I&rsquo;ll start it, for I do feel kinder gone to the stomach. Sympathy is real
+exhaustin&rsquo;. Sometimes I think it tires me more&rsquo;n hard work. And
+Heaven knows I sympathized with Serepta. I felt for her full as much as if she
+was one of the relations on <i>his</i> side.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But if you&rsquo;ll believe it, I had hardly got the words out of my mouth and
+Josiah had jest laid holt of the water pail, when in comes Philander Dagget,
+the President of the Jonesville Creation Searchin&rsquo; Society and, of
+course, he had a job for us to do on our tower. This Society was started by the
+leadin&rsquo; men of Jonesville, for the purpose of searchin&rsquo; out and
+criticizin&rsquo; the affairs of the world, an&rsquo; so far as possible
+advisin&rsquo; and correctin&rsquo; the meanderin&rsquo;s an&rsquo;
+wrong-doin&rsquo;s of the universe.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+This Society, which we call the C.S.S. for short, has been ruther quiet for
+years. But sence woman&rsquo;s suffrage has got to be such a prominent
+question, they bein&rsquo; so bitterly opposed to it, have reorganized and meet
+every once in a while, to sneer at the suffragettes and poke fun at &rsquo;em
+and show in every way they can their hitter antipathy to the cause.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Philander told me if I see anything new and strikin&rsquo; in the way of
+Society badges and regalia, to let him know about it, for he said the C.S.S.
+was goin&rsquo; to take a decided stand and show their colors. They wuz
+goin&rsquo; to help protect his women endangered sect, an&rsquo; he wanted
+sunthin&rsquo; showy and suggestive.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I thought of a number of badges and mottoes that I felt would be suitable for
+this Society, but dassent tell &rsquo;em to him, for his idees and mine on this
+subject are as fur apart as the two poles. He talked awful bitter to me once
+about it, and I sez to him:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Philander, the world is full of good men, and there are also bad men in
+the world, and, sez I, did you ever in your born days see a bad man that
+wuzn&rsquo;t opposed to Woman&rsquo;s Suffrage? All the men who trade in, and
+profit by, the weakness and sin of men and women, they every one of &rsquo;em,
+to a man, fight agin it. And would they do this if they didn&rsquo;t think that
+their vile trades would suffer if women had the right to vote? It is the
+great-hearted, generous, noble man who wants women to become a real citizen
+with himself&mdash;which she is not now&mdash;she is only a citizen just enough
+to be taxed equally with man, or more exhorbitantly, and be punished and
+executed by the law she has no hand in makin&rsquo;.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Philander sed, &ldquo;I have always found it don&rsquo;t pay to talk with women
+on matters they don&rsquo;t understand.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+An&rsquo; he got up and started for the door, an&rsquo; Josiah sed, &ldquo;No,
+it don&rsquo;t pay, not a cent; I&rsquo;ve always said so.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I told Philander I&rsquo;d let him know if I see anything appropriate to
+the C.S.S. Holdin&rsquo; back with a almost Herculaneum effort the mottoes and
+badges that run through my mind as bein&rsquo; appropriate to their society;
+knowin&rsquo; it would make him so mad if I told him of &rsquo;em&mdash;he
+never would neighbor with us again. And in three days&rsquo; time we sot sail.
+We got to the depo about an hour too early, but I wuz glad we wuz on time, for
+it would have worked Josiah up dretfully ef we hadn&rsquo;t been, for he had
+spent most of the latter part of the night in gittin&rsquo; up and
+walkin&rsquo; out to the clock seein&rsquo; if it wuz train time. Jest before
+we started, who should come runnin&rsquo; down to the depo but Sam Nugent
+wantin&rsquo; to send a errent by me to Washington. He wunk me out to one side
+of the waitin&rsquo; room, and ast &ldquo;if I&rsquo;d try to git him a license
+to steal horses.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+It kinder runs in the blood of the Nugents to love to steal, and he owned up it
+did, but he said he wanted the profit of it. But I told him I wouldn&rsquo;t do
+any sech thing, an&rsquo; I looked at him in such a witherin&rsquo; way that I
+should most probable withered him, only he is blind in one side, and I wuz on
+the blind side, but he argued with me, and said that it wuz no worse than to
+give licenses for other kinds of meanness.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He said they give licenses now to steal&mdash;steal folkses senses away, and
+then they could steal everything else, and murder and tear round into every
+kind of wickedness. But he didn&rsquo;t ask that. He wanted things done fair
+and square: he jest wanted to steal horses. He wuz goin&rsquo; West, and he
+thought he could do a good bizness, and lay up somethin&rsquo;. If he had a
+license he shouldn&rsquo;t be afraid of bein&rsquo; shet up or shot.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I refused the job with scorn; and jest as I wuz refusin&rsquo;, the cars
+snorted, and I wuz glad they did. They seemed to express in that wild snort
+something of the indignation I felt.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+The idee!
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap03"></a>III.<br />
+&ldquo;POLLY&rsquo;S EYES CROWED TENDER&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+Lorinda wuz dretful glad to see us and so wuz her husband and Polly. But the
+Reunion had to be put off on account of a spell her husband wuz havin&rsquo;.
+Lorinda said she could not face such a big company as she&rsquo;d invited while
+Hiram wuz havin&rsquo; a spell, and I agreed with her.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Never, never, would I have invited company whilst Josiah wuz
+sufferin&rsquo; with one of his cricks.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Men hain&rsquo;t patient under pain, and outsiders hain&rsquo;t no bizness to
+hear things they say and tell on &rsquo;em. So Polly had to write to the
+relations puttin&rsquo; off the Reunion for one week. But Lorinda kep&rsquo; on
+cookin&rsquo; fruit cake and such that would keep, she had plenty of help, but
+loved to do her company cookin&rsquo; herself. And seein&rsquo; the Reunion wuz
+postponed and Lorinda had time on her hands, I proposed she should go with me
+to the big out-door meetin&rsquo; of the Suffragists, which wuz held in a
+nigh-by city.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Good land!&rdquo; sez she, &ldquo;nothin&rsquo; would tempt me to
+patronize anything so brazen and onwomanly as a out-door meetin&rsquo; of
+wimmen, and so onhealthy and immodest.&rdquo; I see she looked reproachfully at
+Polly as she said it. Polly wuz arrangin&rsquo; some posies in a vase, and
+looked as sweet as the posies did, but considerable firm too, and I see from
+Lorinda&rsquo;s looks that Polly wuz one who had to leave father and mother for
+principle&rsquo;s sake.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I sez, &ldquo;You&rsquo;re cookin&rsquo; this minute, Lorinda, for a
+out-door meetin&rsquo;&rdquo; (she wuz makin&rsquo; angel cake). &ldquo;And why
+is this meetin&rsquo; any more onwomanly or immodest than the
+camp-meetin&rsquo; where you wuz converted, and baptized the next Sunday in the
+creek?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Oh, them wuz religious meetin&rsquo;s,&rdquo; sez she.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;mebby these wimmen think their meetin&rsquo;
+is religious. You know the Bible sez, &lsquo;Faith and works should go
+together,&rsquo; and some of the leaders of this movement have showed by their
+works as religious a sperit and wielded aginst injustice to young workin&rsquo;
+wimmen as powerful a weepon as that axe of the &rsquo;Postles the Bible tells
+about. And you said you went every day to the Hudson-Fulton doin&rsquo;s and
+hearn every out-door lecture; you writ me that there wuz probable a million
+wimmen attendin&rsquo; them out-door meetin&rsquo;s, and that wuz curosity and
+pleasure huntin&rsquo; that took them, and this is a meetin&rsquo; of justice
+and right.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Oh, shaw!&rdquo; sez Lorinda agin, with her eye on Polly. &ldquo;Wimmen
+have all the rights they want or need.&rdquo; Lorinda&rsquo;s husband
+bein&rsquo; rich and lettin&rsquo; her have her way she is real foot loose, and
+don&rsquo;t feel the need of any more rights for herself, but I told her then
+and there some of the wrongs and sufferin&rsquo;s of Serepta Pester, and
+bein&rsquo; good-hearted (but obstinate and bigoted) she gin in that the
+errents wuz hefty, and that Serepta wuz to be pitied, but she insisted that
+wimmen&rsquo;s votin&rsquo; wouldn&rsquo;t help matters.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But Euphrasia Pottle, a poor relation from Troy, spoke up. &ldquo;After my
+husband died one of my girls went into a factory and gits about half what the
+men git for the same work, and my oldest girl who teaches in the public school
+don&rsquo;t git half as much for the same work as men do, and her school rooms
+are dark, stuffy, onhealthy, and crowded so the children are half-choked for
+air, and the light so poor they&rsquo;re havin&rsquo; their eyesight spilte for
+life, and new school books not needed at all, are demanded constantly, so
+some-one can make money.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;do you spoze, Lorinda, if intelligent mothers
+helped control such things they would let their children be made sick and blind
+and the money that should be used for food for poor hungry children be
+squandered on <i>on</i>-necessary books they are too faint with hunger to
+study.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;But wimmen&rsquo;s votin&rsquo; wouldn&rsquo;t help in such
+things,&rdquo; sez Lorinda, as she stirred her angel cake vigorously.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But Euphrasia sez, &ldquo;My niece, Ellen, teaches in a state where wimmen vote
+and she gits the same wages men git for the same work, and her school rooms are
+bright and pleasant and sanitary, and the pupils, of course, are well and
+happy. And if you don&rsquo;t think wimmen can help in such public matters just
+go to Seattle and see how quick a bad man wuz yanked out of his public office
+and a good man put in his place, mostly by wimmen&rsquo;s efforts and
+votes.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;it is a proved fact that wimmen&rsquo;s votes
+do help in these matters. And do you think, Lorinda, that if educated,
+motherly, thoughtful wimmen helped make the laws so many little children would
+be allowed to toil in factories and mines, their tender shoulders bearin&rsquo;
+the burden of constant labor that wears out the iron muscles of men?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Polly&rsquo;s eyes growed tender and wistful, and her little white hands
+lingered over her posies, and I knowed the hard lot of the poor, the wrongs of
+wimmen and children, the woes of humanity, wuz pressin&rsquo; down on her
+generous young heart. And I could see in her sweet face the brave determination
+to do and to dare, to try to help ondo the wrongs, and try to lift the burdens
+from weak and achin&rsquo; shoulders. But Lorinda kep&rsquo; on with the same
+old moth-eaten argument so broke down and feeble it ort to be allowed to die in
+peace.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Woman&rsquo;s suffrage would make women neglect their homes and
+housework and let their children run loose into ruin.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I knowed she said it partly on Polly&rsquo;s account, but I sez in surprise,
+&ldquo;Why, Lorinda, it must be you hain&rsquo;t read up on the subject or you
+would know wherever wimmen has voted they have looked out first of all for the
+children&rsquo;s welfare. They have raised the age of consent, have closed
+saloons and other places of licensed evil, and in every way it has been their
+first care to help &rsquo;em to safer and more moral surroundin&rsquo;s, for
+who has the interest of children more at heart than the mothers who bore them,
+children who are the light of their eyes and the hope of the future.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Lorinda admitted that the state of the children in the homes of the poor and
+ignorant wuz pitiful. &ldquo;But,&rdquo; sez she, &ldquo;the Bible sez
+&lsquo;ye shall always have the poor with you,&rsquo; and I spoze we always
+shall, with all their sufferin&rsquo;s and wants. But,&rdquo; sez she,
+&ldquo;in well-to-do homes the children are safe and well off, and don&rsquo;t
+need any help from woman legislation.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why, Lorinda,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;did you ever think on&rsquo;t how
+such mothers may watch over and be the end of the law to their children with
+the father&rsquo;s full consent during infancy when they&rsquo;re
+wrastlin&rsquo; with teethin&rsquo;, whoopin&rsquo;-cough, mumps, etc., can be
+queen of the nursery, dispensor of pure air, sunshine, sanitary, and safe
+surroundin&rsquo;s in every way, and then in a few years see &rsquo;em go from
+her into dark, overcrowded, unsanitary, carelessly guarded places, to spend the
+precious hours when they are the most receptive to influence and pass man-made
+pitfalls on their way to and fro, must stand helpless until in too many cases
+the innocent healthy child that went from her care returns to her half-blind, a
+physical and moral wreck. The mother who went down to death&rsquo;s door for
+&rsquo;em, and had most to do in mouldin&rsquo; their destiny during infancy
+should have at least equal rights with the father in controllin&rsquo; their
+surroundin&rsquo;s during their entire youth, and to do this she must have
+equal legal power or her best efforts are wasted. That this is just and right
+is as plain to me as the nose on my face and folks will see it bom-bye and
+wonder they didn&rsquo;t before.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;And wimmen who suffer most by the lack on&rsquo;t, will be most
+interested in openin&rsquo; schools to teach the fine art of domestic service,
+teachin&rsquo; young girls how to keep healthy comfortable homes and fit
+themselves to be capable wives and mothers. I don&rsquo;t say or expect that
+wimmen&rsquo;s votin&rsquo; will make black white, or wash all the stains from
+the legislative body at once, but I say that jest the effort to git
+wimmen&rsquo;s suffrage has opened hundreds of bolted doors and full suffrage
+will open hundreds more. And I&rsquo;m goin&rsquo; to that woman&rsquo;s
+suffrage meetin&rsquo; if I walk afoot.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But here Josiah spoke up, I thought he wuz asleep, he wuz layin&rsquo; on the
+lounge with a paper over his face. But truly the word, &ldquo;Woman&rsquo;s
+Suffrage,&rdquo; rousts him up as quick as a mouse duz a drowsy cat, so, sez
+he, &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t let you go, Samantha, into any such dangerous and
+onwomanly affair.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Let?&rdquo; sez I in a dry voice; &ldquo;that&rsquo;s a queer word from
+one old pardner to another.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I&rsquo;m responsible for your safety, Samantha, and if anybody goes to
+that dangerous and onseemly meetin&rsquo; I will. Mebby Polly would like to go
+with me.&rdquo; As stated, Polly is as pretty as a pink posy, and no matter how
+old a man is, nor how interestin&rsquo; and noble his pardner is, he needs girl
+blinders, yes, he needs &rsquo;em from the cradle to the grave. But few,
+indeed, are the female pardners who can git him to wear &rsquo;em.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He added, &ldquo;You know I represent you legally, Samantha; what I do is jest
+the same as though you did it.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Mebby that is law, but whether it is gospel is another question.
+But if you represent me, Josiah, you will have to carry out my plans; I writ to
+Diantha Smith Trimble that if I went to the city I&rsquo;d take care of Aunt
+Susan a night or two, and rest her a spell; you know Diantha is a widder and
+too poor to hire a nurse. But seein&rsquo; you represent me you can set up with
+her Ma a night or two; she&rsquo;s bed-rid and you&rsquo;ll have to lift her
+round some, and give her her medicine and take care of Diantha&rsquo;s twins,
+and let her git a good sleep.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well, as it were&mdash;Samantha&mdash;you know&mdash;men hain&rsquo;t
+expected to represent wimmen in everything, it is mostly votin&rsquo; and
+tendin&rsquo; big meetin&rsquo;s and such.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Oh, I see,&rdquo; sez I; &ldquo;men represent wimmen when they want to,
+and when they don&rsquo;t wimmen have got to represent themselves.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well, yes, Samantha, sunthin&rsquo; like that.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He didn&rsquo;t say anything more about representin&rsquo; me, and Polly said
+she wuz goin&rsquo; to ride in the parade with some other college girls.
+Lorinda&rsquo;s linement looked dark and forbiddin&rsquo; as Polly stated in
+her gentle, but firm way this ultimatum. Lorinda hated the idee of
+Polly&rsquo;s jinin&rsquo; in what she called onwomanly and immodest
+doin&rsquo;s, but I looked beamin&rsquo;ly at her and gloried in her
+principles.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+After she went out Lorinda said to me in a complainin&rsquo; way, &ldquo;I
+should think that a girl that had every comfort and luxury would be contented
+and thankful, and be willin&rsquo; to stay to home and act like a lady.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Nothin&rsquo; could keep Polly from actin&rsquo; like a lady, and
+mebby it is because she is so well off herself that makes her sorry for other
+young girls that have nothin&rsquo; but poverty and privation.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Oh, nonsense!&rdquo; sez Lorinda. But I knowed jest how it wuz. Polly
+bein&rsquo; surrounded by all the good things money could give, and bein&rsquo;
+so tender-hearted her heart ached for other young girls, who had to spend the
+springtime of their lives in the hard work of earnin&rsquo; bread for
+themselves and dear ones, and she longed to help &rsquo;em to livin&rsquo;
+wages, so they could exist without the wages of sin, and too many on &rsquo;em
+had to choose between them black wages and starvation. She wanted to help
+&rsquo;em to better surroundin&rsquo;s and she knowed the best weepon she could
+put into their hands to fight the wolves of Want and Temptation, wuz the
+ballot. Polly hain&rsquo;t a mite like her Ma, she favors the Smiths more, her
+grand-ma on her pa&rsquo;s side wuz a Smith and a woman of brains and
+principle.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Durin&rsquo; my conversation with Lorinda, I inquired about Royal Gray, for as
+stated, he wuz a great favorite of ourn, and I found out (and I could see it
+gaulded her) that when Polly united with the Suffragists he shied off some, and
+went to payin&rsquo; attention to another girl. Whether it wuz to make Polly
+jealous and bring her round to his way of thinkin&rsquo;, I didn&rsquo;t know,
+but mistrusted, for I could have took my oath that he loved Polly deeply and
+truly. To be sure he hadn&rsquo;t confided in me, but there is a language of
+the eyes, when the soul speaks through &rsquo;em, and as I&rsquo;d seen him
+look at Polly my own soul had hearn and understood that silent language and
+translated it, that Polly wuz the light of his eyes, and the one woman in the
+world for him. And I couldn&rsquo;t think his heart had changed so sudden. But
+knowin&rsquo; as I did the elastic nature of manly affection, I felt dubersome.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+This other girl, Maud Vincent, always said to her men friends, it wuz onwomanly
+to try to vote. She wuz one of the girls who always gloried in bein&rsquo; a
+runnin&rsquo; vine when there wuz any masculine trees round to lean on and
+twine about. One who always jined in with all the idees they promulgated, from
+neckties to the tariff, who declared cigar smoke wuz so agreeable and welcome;
+it did really make her deathly sick, but she would choke herself cheerfully and
+willin&rsquo;ly if by so chokin&rsquo; she could gain manly favor and
+admiration.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+She said she didn&rsquo;t believe in helpin&rsquo; poor girls, they wuz well
+enough off as it wuz, she wuz sure they didn&rsquo;t feel hunger and cold as
+rich girls did, their skin wuz thicker and their stomachs different and
+stronger, and constant labor didn&rsquo;t harm them, and working girls
+didn&rsquo;t need recreation as rich girls did, and woman&rsquo;s suffrage
+wouldn&rsquo;t help them any; in her opinion it would harm them, and anyway the
+poor wuz on-grateful.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+She had the usual arguments on the tip of her tongue, for old Miss Vincent, the
+aunt she lived with, wuz a ardent She Aunty and very prominent in the public
+meetin&rsquo;s the She Auntys have to try to compel the Suffragists not to have
+public meetin&rsquo;s. They talk a good deal in public how onwomanly and
+immodest it is for wimmen to talk in public. And she wuz one of the foremost
+ones in tryin&rsquo; to git up a school to teach wimmen civics, to prove that
+they mustn&rsquo;t ever have anything to do with civics.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Yes, old Miss Vincent wuz a real active, ardent She Aunty, and Maud Genevieve
+takes after her. Royal Gray, his handsome attractive personality, and his
+millions, had long been the goal of Maud&rsquo;s ambition. And how ardently did
+she hail the coolness growing between him and Polly, the little rift in the
+lute, and how zealously did she labor to make it larger.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Polly and Royal had had many an argument on the subject, that is, he would
+begin by makin&rsquo; fun of the Suffragists and their militant doin&rsquo;s,
+which if he&rsquo;d thought on&rsquo;t wuz sunthin&rsquo; like what his old
+revolutionary forbears went through for the same reasons, bein&rsquo; taxed
+without representation, and bein&rsquo; burdened and punished by the law they
+had no voice in making, only the Suffragettes are not nearly so severe with
+their opposers, they haven&rsquo;t drawed any blood yet. Why, them old Patriots
+we revere so, would consider their efforts for freedom exceedingly gentle and
+tame compared to their own bloody battles.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And Royal would make light of the efforts of college girls to help
+workin&rsquo; girls, and the encouragement and aid they&rsquo;d gin &rsquo;em
+when they wuz strikin&rsquo; for less death-dealin&rsquo; hours of labor, and
+livin&rsquo; wages, and so forth. I don&rsquo;t see how such a really noble
+young man as Royal ever come to argy that way, but spoze it wuz the dead hand
+of some rough onreasonable old ancestor reachin&rsquo; up out of the shadows of
+the past and pushin&rsquo; him on in the wrong direction.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+So when he begun to ridicule what Polly&rsquo;s heart wuz sot on, when she felt
+that he wuz fightin&rsquo; agin right and justice, before they knowed it both
+pairs of bright eyes would git to flashin&rsquo; out angry sparks, and hash
+words would be said on both sides. That old long-buried Tory ancestor of hisen
+eggin&rsquo; him on, so I spoze, and Polly&rsquo;s generous sperit
+rebellin&rsquo; aginst the injustice and selfishness, and mebby some warlike
+ancestor of hern pushin&rsquo; her on to say hash things. &rsquo;Tennyrate he
+had grown less attentive to her, and wuz bestowin&rsquo; his time and
+attentions elsewhere.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And when she told him she wuz goin&rsquo; to ride in the automobile parade of
+the suffragists, but really ridin&rsquo; she felt towards truth and justice to
+half the citizens of the U.S., he wuz mad as a wet hen, a male wet hen, and wuz
+bound she shouldn&rsquo;t go.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Some men, and mebby it is love that makes &rsquo;em feel so (they say it is),
+and mebby it is selfishness (though they won&rsquo;t own up to it), but they
+want the women they love to belong to them alone, want to rule absolutely over
+their hearts, their souls, their bodies, and all their thoughts and aims,
+desires, and fancies. They don&rsquo;t really say they want &rsquo;em to wear
+veils, and be shet in behind lattice-windowed harems, but I believe they would
+enjoy it.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+They want to be foot loose and heart loose themselves, but always after Ulysses
+is tired of world wandering, he wants to come back and open the barred doors of
+home with his own private latch-key, and find Penelope knitting stockings for
+him with her veil on, waitin&rsquo; for him.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+That sperit is I spoze inherited from the days when our ancestor, the Cave man,
+would knock down the woman he fancied, with a club, and carry her off into his
+cave and keep her there shet up. But little by little men are forgettin&rsquo;
+their ancestral traits, and men and wimmen are gradually comin&rsquo; out of
+their dark caverns into the sunshine (for women too have inherited queer traits
+and disagreeable ones, but that is another story).
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, as I said, Royal wuz mad and told Polly that he guessed that the day of
+the Parade he would take Maud Vincent out in the country in his motor, to
+gather May-flowers. Polly told him she hoped they would have a good time, and
+then, after he had gone, drivin&rsquo; his car lickety-split, harem skarum,
+owin&rsquo; to his madness I spoze, Polly went upstairs and cried, for I hearn
+her, her room wuz next to ourn.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I deeply respected her for her principles, for he had asked her first to go
+May-flowering with him the day of the Suffrage meeting. But she refused,
+havin&rsquo; in her mind, I spoze, the girls that couldn&rsquo;t hunt flowers,
+but had to handle weeds and thistles with bare hands (metaforically) and wanted
+to help them and all workin&rsquo; wimmen to happier and more prosperous lives.
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap04"></a>IV.<br />
+&ldquo;STRIVIN&rsquo; WITH THE EMISSARY&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+But I am hitchin&rsquo; the horse behind the wagon and to resoom backwards. The
+Reunion wuz put off a week and the Suffrage Meetin&rsquo; wuz two days away, so
+I told Lorinda I didn&rsquo;t believe I would have a better time to carry
+Serepta Pester&rsquo;s errents to Washington, D.C. Josiah said he guessed he
+would stay and help wait on Hiram Cagwin, and I approved on&rsquo;t, for
+Lorinda wuz gittin&rsquo; wore out.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And then Josiah made so light of them errents I felt that he would be a
+drawback instead of a help, for how could I keep a calm and noble frame of mind
+befittin&rsquo; them lofty errents, and how could I carry &rsquo;em stiddy with
+a pardner by my side pokin&rsquo; fun at &rsquo;em, and at me for
+carryin&rsquo; &rsquo;em, jarrin&rsquo; my sperit with his scorfin&rsquo; and
+onbelievin&rsquo; talk?
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And as I sot off alone in the trolley I thought of how they must have felt in
+old times a-carryin&rsquo; the Urim and Thumim. And though I hadn&rsquo;t no
+idee what them wuz, yet I always felt that the carriers of &rsquo;em must have
+felt solemn and high-strung. Yes, my feelin&rsquo;s wuz such as I felt of the
+heft and importance of them errents not alone to Serepta Pester, but to the
+hull race of wimmen that it kep&rsquo; my mental head rained up so high that I
+couldn&rsquo;t half see and enjoy the sight of the most beautiful city in the
+world, and still I spoze its grandeur and glory sort o&rsquo; filtered down
+through my conscientiousness, as cloth grows white under the sun&rsquo;s rays
+onbeknown to it.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Anon I left the trolley and walked some ways afoot. It wuz a lovely day, the
+sun shone down in golden splendor upon the splendor beneath it. Broad,
+beautiful clean streets, little fresh green parks, everywhere you could turn
+about, and big ones full of flowers and fountains, and trees and statutes.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And anon or oftener I passed noble big stun buildings, where everything is made
+for the nation&rsquo;s good and profit. Money and fish and wisdom and all sorts
+of patented things and garden seeds and tariffs and resolutions and treaties
+and laws of every shape and size, good ones and queer ones and reputations and
+rates and rebates, etc., etc. But it would devour too much time to even name
+over all that is made and onmade there, even if I knowed by name the
+innumerable things that are flowin&rsquo; constant out of that great reservoir
+of the Nation, with its vast crowd of law-makers settin&rsquo; on the lid,
+regulatin&rsquo; its flow and spreadin&rsquo; it abroad over the country, thick
+and thin.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But on I went past the Capitol, the handsomest buildin&rsquo; on the Globe,
+standin&rsquo; in its own Eden of beauty. By the Public Library as long as from
+our house to Grout Hozleton&rsquo;s, and I guess longer, and every foot
+on&rsquo;t more beautifler ornamented than tongue can tell. But I didn&rsquo;t
+dally tryin&rsquo; to pace off the size on&rsquo;t, though it wuz enormous, for
+the thought of what I wuz carryin&rsquo; bore me on almost regardless of my
+matchless surroundin&rsquo;s and the twinges of rumatiz.
+
+And anon I arrived at the White House, where my hopes and the hopes of my sect
+and Serepta Pester wuz sot. I will pass over my efforts to git into the
+Presence, merely sayin&rsquo; that they were arjous and extreme, and I
+wouldn&rsquo;t probably have got in at all had not the Presence appeared with a
+hat on jest goin&rsquo; out for a walk, and see me as I wuz strivin&rsquo; with
+the emissary for entrance. I spoze my noble mean, made more noble fur by the
+magnitude of what I wuz carryin&rsquo;, impressed him, for suffice it to say
+inside of five minutes the Presence wuz back in his augience room, and I wuz
+layin&rsquo; out them errents of Serepta&rsquo;s in front of him.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He wuz very hefty, a good-lookin&rsquo; smilin&rsquo; man, a politer demeanored
+gentlemanly appearner man I don&rsquo;t want to see. But his linement which had
+looked so pleasant and cheerful growed gloomy and deprested as I spread them
+errents before him and sez in conclusion:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Serepta Pester sent these errents to you, she wanted intemperance done
+away with, the Whiskey Ring broke up and destroyed, she wanted you to have
+nothin&rsquo; stronger than root beer when you had company to dinner, she
+offerin&rsquo; to send you some burdock and dandeline roots and some emptins to
+start it with, and she wanted her rights, and wanted &rsquo;em all by week
+after next without fail.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He sithed hard, and I never see a linement fall furder than hisen fell, and
+kep&rsquo; a-fallin&rsquo;. I pitied him, I see it wuz a hard stent for him to
+do it in the time she had sot, and he so fleshy too. But knowin&rsquo; how much
+wuz at the stake, and how the fate of Serepta and wimmen wuz tremblin&rsquo; in
+the balances, I spread them errents out before him. And bein&rsquo; truthful
+and above board, I told him that Serepta wuz middlin&rsquo; disagreeable and
+very humbly, but she needed her rights jest as much as though she wuz a
+wax-doll. And I went on and told him how she and her relations had suffered
+from want of rights, and how dretfully she had suffered from the Ring till I
+declare talkin&rsquo; about them little children of hern, and her agony, I got
+about as fierce actin&rsquo; as Serepta herself, and entirely onbeknown to
+myself I talked powerful on intemperance and Rings, and such.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+When I got down agin onto my feet I see he had a still more worried and anxious
+look on his good-natured face, and he sez: &ldquo;The laws of the United States
+are such that I can&rsquo;t do them errands, I can&rsquo;t interfere.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Then,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;why don&rsquo;t you make the United States do
+right?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He said sunthin&rsquo; about the might of the majority, and the powerful
+corporations and rings, and that sot me off agin. And I talked very powerful
+and allegored about allowin&rsquo; a ring to be put round the United States and
+let a lot of whiskey dealers and corporations lead her round, a pitiful sight
+for men and angels. Sez I, &ldquo;How duz it look before the nations to see
+Columbia led round half-tipsy by a Ring?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He seemed to think it looked bad, I knew by his looks.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Intemperance is bad for Serepta and bad for the Nation.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He murmured sunthin&rsquo; about the revenue the liquor trade brought the
+Govermunt.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I sez, &ldquo;Every penny is money right out of the people&rsquo;s pockets;
+every dollar the people pay into the liquor traffic that gives a few cents into
+the treasury, is costin&rsquo; the people ten times that dollar in the loss
+intemperance entails, loss of labor, by the inability of drunken men to do
+anything but wobble and stagger, loss of wealth by the enormous losses of
+property and taxation, of alms-houses, mad-houses, jails, police forces,
+paupers&rsquo; coffins, and the diggin&rsquo; of thousands and thousands of
+graves that are filled yearly by them that reel into &rsquo;em.&rdquo; Sez I,
+&ldquo;Wouldn&rsquo;t it be better for the people to pay that dollar in the
+first place into the treasury than to let it filter through the
+dram-seller&rsquo;s hands, a few cents of it fallin&rsquo; into the national
+purse at last, putrid and heavy with all these losses and curses and crimes and
+shames and despairs and agonies?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He seemed to think it would, I see by the looks of his linement he did. Every
+honorable man feels so in his heart, and yet they let the Liquor Ring control
+&rsquo;em and lead &rsquo;em round. &ldquo;It is queer, queer as a dog.&rdquo;
+Sez I, &ldquo;The intellectual and moral power of the United States are rolled
+up and thrust into that Whiskey Ring and bein&rsquo; drove by the whiskey
+dealers jest where they want to drive &rsquo;em.&rdquo; Sez I, &ldquo;It
+controls New York village and nobody denies it, and the piety and philanthropy
+and culture and philosophy of that village has to be drawed along by that
+Ring.&rdquo; And sez I, in low but startlin&rsquo; tones of principle:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Where, where is it a-drawin&rsquo; &rsquo;em to? Where is it
+drawin&rsquo; the hull nation to? Is it drawin&rsquo; &rsquo;em down into a
+slavery ten times more abject and soul-destroyin&rsquo; than African slavery
+ever wuz? Tell me,&rdquo; sez I firmly, &ldquo;tell me!&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He did not try to frame a reply, he could not find a frame. He knowed it wuz a
+conundrum boundless as truth and God&rsquo;s justice, and as solemnly deep in
+its sure consequences of evil as eternity, and as sure to come as that is.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Oh, how solemn he looked, and how sorry I felt for him, for I knowed worse wuz
+to come, I knowed the sharpest arrow Serepta Pester had sent wuz yet to pierce
+his sperit. But I sort o&rsquo; blunted the edge on&rsquo;t what I could
+conscientiously. Sez I, &ldquo;I think myself Serepta is a little onreasonable,
+I myself am willin&rsquo; to wait three or four weeks. But she&rsquo;s suffered
+dretful from intemperance from the Rings and from the want of rights, and her
+sufferin&rsquo;s have made her more voylent in her demands and
+impatienter,&rdquo; and then I fairly groaned as I did the rest of the errent,
+and let the sharpest arrow fly from the bo.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Serepta told me to tell you if you didn&rsquo;t do these errents you
+should not be President next year.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He trembled like a popple leaf, and I felt that Serepta wuz threatenin&rsquo;
+him too hard. Sez he, &ldquo;I do not wish to be President again, I shall
+refuse to be nominated. At the same time I <i>do</i> wish to be President and
+shall work hard for the nomination if you can understand the paradox.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;I understand them paradoxes. I&rsquo;ve lived
+with &rsquo;em as you may say, all through my married life.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+A clock struck in the next room and I knowed time wuz passin&rsquo; swift.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez the President, &ldquo;I would be glad to do Serepta&rsquo;s errents, I
+think she is justified in askin&rsquo; for her rights, and to have the Ring
+destroyed, but I am not the one to do them.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Who is the man or men?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He looked all round the room and up and down as if in hopes he could see
+someone layin&rsquo; round on the floor, or danglin&rsquo; from the
+ceilin&rsquo;, that would take the responsibility offen him, and in the very
+nick of time the door opened after a quick rap, and the President jumped up
+with a relieved look on his linement, and sez:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Here is the very man to do the errents.&rdquo; And he hastened to
+introduce me to the Senator who entered. And then he bid me a hasty adoo, but
+cordial and polite, and withdrew himself.
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap05"></a>V.<br />
+&ldquo;HE WUZ DRETFUL POLITE&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+I felt glad to have this Senator do Serepta&rsquo;s errents, but I didn&rsquo;t
+like his looks. My land! talk about Serepta Pester bein&rsquo; disagreeable, he
+wuz as disagreeable as she any day. He wuz kinder tall and looked out of his
+eyes and wore a vest. He wuz some bald-headed, and wore a large smile all the
+while, it looked like a boughten one that didn&rsquo;t fit him, but I
+won&rsquo;t say it wuz. I presoom he&rsquo;ll be known by this description. But
+his baldness didn&rsquo;t look to me like Josiah Allen&rsquo;s baldness, and he
+didn&rsquo;t have the noble linement of the President, no indeed. He wuz
+dretful polite, good land! politeness is no name for it, but I don&rsquo;t like
+to see anybody too good. He drawed a chair up for me and himself and asked me:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+If he should have the inexpressible honor and delightful joy of aiding me in
+any way, if so to command him to do it or words to that effect. I can&rsquo;t
+put down his second-hand smiles and genteel looks and don&rsquo;t want to if I
+could.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But tacklin&rsquo; hard jobs as I always tackle &rsquo;em, I sot down calm in
+front of him with my umbrell on my lap and told him all of Serepta&rsquo;s
+errents, and how I had brought &rsquo;em from Jonesville on my tower. I told
+over all her sufferin&rsquo;s and wrongs from the Rings and from not
+havin&rsquo; her rights, and all her sister&rsquo;s Azuba Clapsaddle&rsquo;s,
+and her Aunt Cassandra Keeler&rsquo;s, and Hulda and Drusilly&rsquo;s and
+Abagail Flanderses injustices and sufferin&rsquo;s. I did her errents as
+honorable as I&rsquo;d love to have one done for me, I told him all the
+petickulars, and as I finished I said firmly:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Now can you do Serepta Pesterses errents and will you?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He leaned forward with that disagreeable boughten smile of hisen and took up
+one corner of my mantilly, it wuz cut tab fashion, and he took up the tab and
+said in a low insinuatin&rsquo; voice, lookin&rsquo; clost at the edge of the
+tab:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Am I mistaken, or is this beautiful creation pipein&rsquo; or can it be
+Kensington tattin&rsquo;?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I drawed the tab back coldly and never dained a reply; agin he sez, in a tone
+of amiable anxiety, &ldquo;Have I not heard a rumor that bangs are going out of
+style? I see you do not wear your lovely hair bang-like or a-pompadouris? Ah,
+women are lovely creatures, lovely beings, every one of &rsquo;em.&rdquo; And
+he sithed, &ldquo;You are very beautiful,&rdquo; and he sithed agin, a sort of
+a deceitful lovesick sithe. I sot demute as the Spinks, and a chippin&rsquo;
+bird tappin&rsquo; his wing aginst her stuny breast would move it jest as much
+as he moved me by his talk or his sithes. But he kep&rsquo; on, puttin&rsquo;
+on a sort of a sad injured look as if my coldness wuz ondoin&rsquo; of him.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;My dear madam, it is my misfortune that the topics I introduce, however
+carefully selected by me, do not seem to be congenial to you. Have you a
+leanin&rsquo; toward Natural history, madam? Have you ever studied into the
+habits and traits of our American Wad?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;What?&rdquo; sez I. For truly a woman&rsquo;s curosity, however parlyzed
+by just indignation, can stand only just so much strain. &ldquo;The
+what?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;The wad. The animal from which is obtained the valuable fur that tailors
+make so much use of.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Do you mean waddin&rsquo; eight cents a sheet?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Eight cents a pelt&mdash;yes, the skins are plentiful and cheap, owing
+to the hardy habits of the animal.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Cease instantly. I will hear no more.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Truly, I had heard much of the flattery and little talk statesmen will use to
+wimmen, and I&rsquo;d hearn of their lies, etc.; but truly I felt that the half
+had not been told. And then I thought out-loud and sez:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve hearn how laws of eternal right and justice are sot one side
+in Washington, D.C., as bein&rsquo; too triflin&rsquo; to attend to, while the
+Legislators pondered over and passed laws regardin&rsquo; hen&rsquo;s eggs and
+bird&rsquo;s nests. But this is goin&rsquo; too fur&mdash;too fur. But,&rdquo;
+sez I firmly, &ldquo;I shall do Serepta&rsquo;s errents, and do &rsquo;em to
+the best of my ability, and you can&rsquo;t draw off my attention from her
+wrongs and sufferin&rsquo;s by talkin&rsquo; about wads.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I would love to obleege Serepta,&rdquo; sez he, &ldquo;because she
+belongs to such a lovely sect. Wimmen are the loveliest, most angelic creatures
+that ever walked the earth; they are perfect, flawless, like snow and
+roses.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I firmly, &ldquo;They hain&rsquo;t no such thing; they are disagreeable
+creeters a good deal of the time. They hain&rsquo;t no better than men, but
+they ort to have their rights all the same. Now Serepta is disagreeable and
+kinder fierce actin&rsquo;, and jest as humbly as they make wimmen, but that
+hain&rsquo;t no sign she ort to be imposed upon; Josiah sez she hadn&rsquo;t
+ort to have rights she is so humbly, but I don&rsquo;t feel so.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Who is Josiah?&rdquo; sez he.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;My husband.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ah, your husband! Yes, wimmen should have husbands instead of rights.
+They do not need rights; they need freedom from all cares and sufferin&rsquo;.
+Sweet lovely beings! let them have husbands to lift them above all earthly
+cares and trials! Oh! angels of our homes!&rdquo; sez he, liftin&rsquo; his
+eyes to the heavens and kinder shettin&rsquo; &rsquo;em, some as if he wuz
+goin&rsquo; into a spazzum. &ldquo;Fly around, ye angels, in your native hants;
+mingle not with rings and vile laws, flee away, flee above them!&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And he kinder waved his hand back and forth in a floatin&rsquo; fashion up in
+the air, as if it wuz a woman flyin&rsquo; up there smooth and serene. It would
+have impressed some folks dretful, but it didn&rsquo;t me. I sez reasonably:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Serepta would have been glad to flew above &rsquo;em, but the Ring and
+the vile laws lay holt of her onbeknown to her and dragged her down. And there
+she is all bruised and broken-hearted by &rsquo;em. She didn&rsquo;t meddle
+with the political Ring, but the Ring meddled with her. How can she fly when
+the weight of this infamous traffic is holdin&rsquo; her down?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ahem!&rdquo; sez he. &ldquo;Ahem, as it were. As I was saying, my dear
+madam, these angelic angels of our homes are too ethereal, too dainty to mingle
+with rude crowds. We political men would fain keep them as they are now; we are
+willing to stand the rude buffetin&rsquo; of&mdash;of&mdash;voting, in order to
+guard these sweet delicate creatures from any hardships. Sweet tender beings,
+we would fain guard thee&mdash;ah, yes, ah, yes.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Cease instantly, or my sickness will increase, for such talk is
+like thoroughwort or lobelia to my moral and mental stomach. You know and I
+know that these angelic tender bein&rsquo;s, half-clothed, fill our streets on
+icy midnights, huntin&rsquo; up drunken husbands and fathers and sons. They are
+driven to death and to moral ruin by the miserable want liquor drinkin&rsquo;
+entails. They are starved, they are froze, they are beaten, they are made
+childless and hopeless by drunken husbands killin&rsquo; their own flesh and
+blood. They go down into the cold waves and are drowned by drunken captains;
+they are cast from railways into death by drunken engineers; they go up on the
+scaffold and die for crimes committed by the direct aid of this agent of Hell.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Wimmen had ruther be flyin&rsquo; round than to do all this, but they
+can&rsquo;t. If men really believed all they say about wimmen, and I think some
+on &rsquo;em do in a dreamy sentimental way&mdash;If wimmen are angels, give
+&rsquo;em the rights of angels. Who ever hearn of a angel foldin&rsquo; up her
+wings and goin&rsquo; to a poor-house or jail through the fault of somebody
+else? Who ever hearn of a angel bein&rsquo; dragged off to police court for
+fightin&rsquo; to defend her children and herself from a drunken husband that
+had broke her wings and blacked her eyes, got the angel into the fight and then
+she got throwed into the streets and imprisoned by it? Who ever hearn of a
+angel havin&rsquo; to take in washin&rsquo; to support a drunken son or father
+or husband? Who ever hearn of a angel goin&rsquo; out as wet-nurse to git money
+to pay taxes on her home to a Govermunt that in theory idolizes her, and
+practically despises her, and uses that money in ways abominable to that angel.
+If you want to be consistent, if you&rsquo;re bound to make angels of wimmen,
+you ort to furnish a free safe place for &rsquo;em to soar in. You ort to keep
+the angels from bein&rsquo; tormented and bruised and killed, etc.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ahem,&rdquo; sez he, &ldquo;as it were, ahem.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I kep&rsquo; right on, for I begun to feel noble and by the side of myself:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;This talk about wimmen bein&rsquo; outside and above all participation
+in the laws of her country, is jest as pretty as anything I ever hearn, and
+jest as simple. Why, you might jest as well throw a lot of snowflakes into the
+street, and say, &lsquo;Some of &rsquo;em are female flakes and mustn&rsquo;t
+be trompled on.&rsquo; The great march of life tromples on &rsquo;em all alike;
+they fall from one common sky, and are trodden down into one common ground.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Men and wimmen are made with divine impulses and desires, and human
+needs and weaknesses, needin&rsquo; the same heavenly light, and the same human
+aids and helps. The law should mete out to them the same rewards and
+punishments.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Serepta sez you call wimmen angels, and you don&rsquo;t give &rsquo;em
+the rights of the lowest beasts that crawl on the earth. And Serepta told me to
+tell you that she didn&rsquo;t ask the rights of a angel; she would be
+perfectly contented and proud, if you would give her the rights of a
+dog&mdash;the assured political rights of a yeller dog.&rsquo; She said yeller
+and I&rsquo;m bound on doin&rsquo; her &rsquo;errent jest as she wanted it
+done, word for word.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;A dog, Serepta sez, don&rsquo;t have to be hung if it breaks the laws it
+is not allowed any hand in making; a dog don&rsquo;t have to pay taxes on its
+bone to a Govermunt that withholds every right of citizenship from it; a dog
+hain&rsquo;t called undogly if it is industrious and hunts quietly round for
+its bone to the best of its ability, and tries to git its share of the crumbs
+that falls from that table bills are laid on.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;A dog hain&rsquo;t preached to about its duty to keep home sweet and
+sacred, and then see that home turned into a place of danger and torment under
+laws that these very preachers have made legal and respectable. A dog
+don&rsquo;t have to see its property taxed to advance laws it believes ruinous,
+and that breaks its own heart and the heart of other dear dogs. A dog
+don&rsquo;t have to listen to soul-sickening speeches from them that deny it
+freedom and justice, about its bein&rsquo; a damask rose and a seraph, when it
+knows it hain&rsquo;t; it knows, if it knows anything, that it is jest a plain
+dog.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;You see Serepta has been embittered by the trials that politics, corrupt
+legislation have brought right onto her. She didn&rsquo;t want nothin&rsquo; to
+do with &rsquo;em, but they come onto her onexpected and onbeknown, and she
+feels that she must do everything she can to alter matters. She wants to help
+make the laws that have such a overpowerin&rsquo; influence over her. She
+believes they can&rsquo;t be much worse than they are now, and may be a little
+better.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; interrupted the Senator, &ldquo;if Serepta wishes to change
+political affairs, let her influence her children, her boys, and they will
+carry her benign and noble influence forward into the centuries.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;But the law took her boy, her little boy and girl, away from her.
+Through the influence of the Whiskey Ring, of which her husband wuz a
+shinin&rsquo; member, he got possession of her boy. And so the law has made it
+perfectly impossible for her to mould it indirectly through him, what Serepta
+duz she must do herself.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ah! my dear woman. A sad thing for Serepta; I trust <i>you</i> have no
+grievance of this kind, I trust that your estimable husband is, as it were,
+estimable.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes, Josiah Allen is a good man, as good as men can be. You know men or
+wimmen can&rsquo;t be only jest about so good anyway. But he&rsquo;s my choice,
+and he don&rsquo;t drink a drop.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Pardon me, madam, but if you are happy in your married relations, and
+your husband is a temperate good man, why do you feel so upon this
+subject?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why, good land! if you understood the nature of a woman you would know
+my love for him, my happiness, the content and safety I feel about him and our
+boy, makes me realize the sufferin&rsquo;s of Serepta in havin&rsquo; her
+husband and boy lost to her; makes me realize the depth of a wife&rsquo;s and
+mother&rsquo;s agony when she sees the one she loves goin&rsquo; down, down so
+low she can&rsquo;t reach him; makes me feel how she must yearn to help him in
+some safe sure way.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;High trees cast long shadows. The happier and more blessed a
+woman&rsquo;s life is, the more duz she feel for them that are less blessed
+than she. Highest love goes lowest, like that love that left Heaven and
+descended to earth, and into it that He might lift up the lowly. The
+pityin&rsquo; words of Him who went about pleasin&rsquo; not Himself, hants me
+and inspires me; I&rsquo;m sorry for Serepta, sorry for the hull wimmen race of
+the nation, and for the men too. Lots of &rsquo;em are good creeters, better
+than wimmen, some on &rsquo;em. They want to do right, but don&rsquo;t exactly
+see the way to do it. In the old slavery times some of the masters wuz more to
+be pitied than the slaves. They could see the injustice, feel the wrong they
+wuz doin&rsquo;, but old chains of Custom bound &rsquo;em, social customs and
+idees had hardened into habits of thought.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;They realized the size and heft of the evil, but didn&rsquo;t know how
+to grapple with it, and throw it. So now, many men see the evils of this time,
+want to help, but don&rsquo;t know the best way to lay holt of &rsquo;em. Life
+is a curious conundrum anyway, and hard to guess. But we can try to git the
+right answer to it as fur as we can. Serepta feels that one of the answers to
+the conundrum is in gittin&rsquo; her rights. I myself have got all the rights
+I need or want, as fur as my own happiness is concerned. My home is my castle
+(a story and a half wooden one, but dear). My towers elevate me, the
+companionship of my friends give social happiness, our children are prosperous
+and happy. We have property enough for all the comforts of life. And above all
+other things my Josiah is my love and my theme.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ah, yes!&rdquo; sez he, &ldquo;love is a woman&rsquo;s empire, and in
+that she should find her full content&mdash;her entire happiness and thought. A
+womanly woman will not look outside that lovely and safe and beautious
+empire.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I firmly, &ldquo;If she hain&rsquo;t a idiot she can&rsquo;t help it. Love
+is the most beautiful thing on earth, the most holy and satisfyin&rsquo;. But I
+do not ask you as a politician, but as a human bein&rsquo;, which would you
+like best, the love of a strong, earnest tender nature, for in man or woman
+&lsquo;the strongest are the tenderest, the loving are the daring,&rsquo; which
+would you like best, the love and respect of such a nature full of wit, of
+tenderness, of infinite variety, or the love of a fool?
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;A fool&rsquo;s love is wearin&rsquo;, it is insipid at best, and it
+turns to vinegar. Why, sweetened water must turn to vinegar, it is its nater.
+And if a woman is bright and true-hearted, she can&rsquo;t help seein&rsquo;
+through an injustice. She may be happy in her own home. Domestic affection,
+social enjoyments, the delights of a cultured home and society, and the
+companionship of the man she loves and who loves her, will, if she is a true
+woman, satisfy her own personal needs and desires, and she would far ruther for
+her own selfish happiness rest quietly in that love, that most blessed home.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;But the bright quick intellect that delights you can&rsquo;t help
+seein&rsquo; an injustice, can&rsquo;t help seein&rsquo; through shams of all
+kinds, sham sentiment, sham compliments, sham justice. The tender lovin&rsquo;
+nature that blesses your life can&rsquo;t help feelin&rsquo; pity for them less
+blessed than herself. She looks down through the love-guarded lattice of her
+home from which your care would fain bar out all sights of woe and squaler, she
+looks down and sees the weary toilers below, the hopeless, the wretched. She
+sees the steep hills they have to climb, carryin&rsquo; their crosses, she sees
+&rsquo;em go down into the mire, dragged there by the love that should lift
+&rsquo;em up. She would not be the woman you love if she could restrain her
+hand from liftin&rsquo; up the fallen, wipin&rsquo; tears from weepin&rsquo;
+eyes, speakin&rsquo; brave words for them that can&rsquo;t speak for
+themselves. The very strength of her affection that would hold you up if you
+were in trouble or disgrace yearns to help all sorrowin&rsquo; hearts.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Down in your heart you can&rsquo;t help admirin&rsquo; her for this, we
+can&rsquo;t help respectin&rsquo; the one that advocates the right, the true,
+even if they are our conquerors. Wimmen hain&rsquo;t angels; now to be candid,
+you know they hain&rsquo;t. They hain&rsquo;t any better than men. Men are
+considerable likely; and it seems curious to me that they should act so in this
+one thing. For men ort to be more honest and open than wimmen. They
+hain&rsquo;t had to cajole and wheedle and use little trickeries and deceits
+and indirect ways as wimmen have. Why, cramp a tree limb and see if it will
+grow as straight and vigorous as it would in full freedom and sunshine.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Men ort to be nobler than women, sincerer, braver. And they ort to be
+ashamed of this one trick of theirn, for they know they hain&rsquo;t honest in
+it, they hain&rsquo;t generous. Give wimmen two or three generations of moral
+and legal freedom and see if men will laugh at &rsquo;em for their little
+deceits and affectations. No, men will be gentler, and wimmen nobler, and they
+will both come nearer bein&rsquo; angels, though most probable they won&rsquo;t
+be any too good then, I hain&rsquo;t a mite afraid of it.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap06"></a>VI.<br />
+&ldquo;CONCERNING MOTH-MILLERS AND MINNY FISH&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+The Senator kinder sithed, and that sithe sort o&rsquo; brought me down onto my
+feet agin as it were, and a sense of my duty, and I spoke out agin:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Can you and will you do Serepta&rsquo;s errents?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He evaded a direct answer by sayin&rsquo;, &ldquo;As you alluded to the little
+indirect ways of women, dearest madam, you will pardon me for saying that it is
+my belief that the soft gentle brains of females are unfitted for the deep hard
+problems men have to grapple with. They are too doll-like, too angelically and
+sweetly frivolous.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No doubt,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;some wimmen are frivolous and some men
+foolish, for as Mrs. Poyser said, &lsquo;God made women to match the
+men,&rsquo; but these few hadn&rsquo;t ort to disfranchise the hull race of men
+and wimmen. And as to soft brains, Maria Mitchell discovered planets hid from
+masculine eyes from the beginnin&rsquo; of time, and do you think that wimmen
+can&rsquo;t see the black spots on the body politic, that darkens the life of
+her and her children?
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Madame Curie discovered the light that looks through solid wood and
+iron, and you think wimmen can&rsquo;t see through unjust laws and practices,
+the rampant evils of to-day, and see what is on the other side, see a remedy
+for &rsquo;em. Florence Nightingale could mother and help cure an army, and why
+hain&rsquo;t men willin&rsquo; to let wimmen help cure a sick legislation,
+kinder mother it, and encourage it to do better? She might much better be
+doin&rsquo; that, than playin&rsquo; bridge-whist, or rastlin&rsquo; with
+hobble skirts, and it wouldn&rsquo;t devour any more time.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He sot demute for a few minutes and then he sez, &ldquo;While on the subject of
+women&rsquo;s achievements, dearest madam, allow me to ask you, if they have
+reached the importance you claim for them, why is it that so few women are made
+immortal by bein&rsquo; represented in the Hall of Fame? And why are the four
+or five females represented there put away by themselves in a remote unadorned
+corner with no roof to protect them from the rough winds and storms that beat
+upon them?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;That&rsquo;s a good illustration of what I&rsquo;ve been
+sayin&rsquo;. It wuz owin&rsquo; to a woman&rsquo;s gift that America has a
+Hall of Fame, and it would seem that common courtesy would give wimmen an
+equally desirable place amongst the Immortals. Do you spoze that if women
+formed half the committee of selection&mdash;which they should since it wuz a
+woman&rsquo;s gift that made such a place possible&mdash;do you spoze that if
+she had an equal voice with men, the names of noble wimmen would be tucked away
+in a remote unroofed corner?
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Edgar Allan Poe&rsquo;s genius wuz worthy a place among the Immortals,
+no doubt; his poems and stories excite wonder and admiration. But do they move
+the soul like Mrs. Stowe&rsquo;s immortal story that thrilled the world and
+helped free a race?&mdash;yes, two races&mdash;for the curse of slavery held
+the white race in bondage, too. Yet she and her three or four woman companions
+face the stormy winds in an out-of-the-way corner, while Poe occupies his
+honorable sightly place among his fifty or more male companions.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Wimmen have always been admonished to not strive for right and justice
+but to lean on men&rsquo;s generosity and chivalry. Here wuz a place where that
+chivalry would have shone, but it didn&rsquo;t seem to materialize, and if
+wimmen had leaned on it, it would have proved a weak staff, indeed.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Such things as this are constantly occurring and show plain that wimmen
+needs the ballot to protect her from all sorts of wrongs and indignities. Men
+take wimmen&rsquo;s money, as they did here, and use it to uplift themselves,
+and lower her, like taxin&rsquo; her heavily and often unjustly and usin&rsquo;
+this money to help forward unjust laws which she abominates. And so it goes on,
+and will, until women are men&rsquo;s equals legally and politically.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ahem&mdash;you present things in a new light. I never looked at this
+matter with your eyes.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No, you looked at &rsquo;em through a man&rsquo;s eyes; such things are
+so customary that men do &rsquo;em without thinkin&rsquo;, from habit and
+custom, like hushin&rsquo; up children&rsquo;s talk, when they interrupt
+grown-ups.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Agin he sot demute for a short space, and then said, &ldquo;I feel that natural
+human instinct is aginst the change. In savage races that knew nothin&rsquo; of
+civilization, male force and strength always ruled.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;history tells us of savage races where wimmen
+always rule, though I don&rsquo;t think they ort to&mdash;ability and goodness
+ort to rule.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Nature is aginst it,&rdquo; sez he.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I sez firmly, &ldquo;Bees and lots of other insects and animals always have
+a female for queen and ruler. They rule blindly and entirely, right on through
+the centuries, but we are enlightened and should not encourage it. In my
+opinion the male bee has just as good a right to be monarch as his female
+pardner has, if he is as good and knows as much. I never believed in the female
+workin&rsquo; ones killin&rsquo; off the male drones to save winterin&rsquo;
+&rsquo;em; they might give &rsquo;em some light chores to do round the hive to
+pay for their board. I love justice and that would be <i>my</i> way.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Agin he sithed. &ldquo;Modern history don&rsquo;t seem to favor the
+scheme&mdash;&rdquo; But his axent wuz as weak as a cat and his boughten smile
+seemed crackin&rsquo; and wearin&rsquo; out; he knowed better.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;We won&rsquo;t argy long on that p&rsquo;int, for I might
+overwhelm you if I approved of overwhelmin&rsquo;, but, will merely ask you to
+cast one eye on England. Was the rain of Victoria the Good less peaceful and
+prosperous than that of the male rulers who preceded her? And you can then
+throw your other eye over to Holland: is their sweet queen less worthy and
+beloved to-day than other European monarchs? And is her throne more shaky and
+tottlin&rsquo; than theirn?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He didn&rsquo;t try to dispute me and bowed his head on his breast in a almost
+meachin&rsquo; way. He knowed he wuz beat on every side, and almost to the end
+of his chain of rusty, broken old arguments. But anon he brightened up agin and
+sez, ketchin&rsquo; holt of the last shackly link of his argument:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;You seem to place a great deal of dependence on the Bible. The Bible is
+aginst the idee. The Bible teaches man&rsquo;s supremacy, man&rsquo;s absolute
+power and might and authority.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why, how you talk,&rdquo; sez I. &ldquo;In the very first chapter the
+Bible tells how man wuz turned right round by a woman, tells how she not only
+turned man round to do as she wanted him to, but turned the hull world over.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;That hain&rsquo;t nothin&rsquo; I approve of; I don&rsquo;t speak of it
+because I like the idee. That wuzn&rsquo;t done in a open honorable manner as
+things should be done. No, Eve ruled by indirect influence, the gently
+influencing men way, that politicians are so fond of. And she brought ruin and
+destruction onto the hull world by it.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;A few years later when men and wimmen grew wiser, when we hear of wimmen
+rulin&rsquo; Israel openly and honestly, like Miriam, Deborah and other likely
+old four mothers, things went on better. They didn&rsquo;t act meachin&rsquo;
+and tempt, and act indirect.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He sithed powerful and sot round oneasy in his chair. And sez he, &ldquo;I
+thought wimmen wuz taught by the Bible to serve and love their homes.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;So they be. And every true woman loves to serve. Home is my supreme
+happiness and delight, and my best happiness is found in servin&rsquo; them I
+love. But I must tell the truth, in the house or outdoors.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez he faintly, &ldquo;The Old Testament may teach that women have some
+strength and power. But in the New Testament in every great undertaken&rsquo;
+and plan men have been chosen by God to carry them through.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why-ee!&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;how you talk! Have you ever read the
+Bible?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He said evasively, his grandmother owned one, and he had seen it in early
+youth. And then he went on in a sort of apologizin&rsquo; way. He had always
+meant to read it, but he had entered political life at an early age where the
+Bible wuzn&rsquo;t popular, and he believed that he had never read further than
+the Epistles of Gulliver to the Liliputians.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;That hain&rsquo;t Bible, there hain&rsquo;t no Gulliver in it,
+and you mean Galatians.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, he said, that might be it, it wuz some man he knew, and he had always
+heard and believed that man wuz the only worker that God had chosen.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;the one great theme of the New
+Testament&mdash;the salvation of the world through the birth of Christ&mdash;no
+man had anything to do with. Our divine Lord wuz born of God and Woman.
+Heavenly plan of redemption for fallen humanity. God Himself called woman into
+that work, the divine work of saving a world, and why shouldn&rsquo;t she
+continue in it? God called her. Mary had no dream of publicity, no desire of a
+world&rsquo;s work of suffering and renunciation. The soft air of Galilee
+wropped her about in its sweet content, as she dreamed her quiet dreams in
+maiden peace&mdash;dreamed, perhaps, of domestic love and happiness.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;From that sweetest silence, the restful peace of happy innocent
+girlhood, God called her to her divine work of helpin&rsquo; redeem a world
+from sin. And did not this woman&rsquo;s love and willin&rsquo; obedience, and
+sufferin&rsquo; set her apart, baptize her for this work of liftin&rsquo; up
+the fallen, helpin&rsquo; the weak?
+</p>
+
+<div class="fig" style="width:100%;">
+<a name="illus03"></a>
+<a href="images/sam111.jpg">
+<img src="images/sam111.jpg" width="401" height="600" alt="Illustration:" /></a>
+<p class="caption">&ldquo;He&rsquo;d entered political life where the Bible
+wuzn&rsquo;t popular; he&rsquo;d never read further than Gulliver&rsquo;s
+Epistle to the Liliputians.&rdquo;</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Is it not a part of woman&rsquo;s life that she gave at the birth and
+crucifixion? Her faith, her hope, her sufferin&rsquo;, her glow of divine pity
+and joyful martyrdom. These, mingled with the divine, the pure heavenly, have
+they not for nineteen hundred years been blessin&rsquo; the world? The God in
+Christ would awe us too much; we would shield our eyes from the too
+blindin&rsquo; glory of the pure God-like. But the tender Christ who wept over
+a sinful city, and the grave of His friend, who stopped dyin&rsquo; on the
+cross to comfort His mother&rsquo;s heart, provide for her future&mdash;it is
+this womanly element in our Lord&rsquo;s nature that makes us dare to approach
+Him, dare to kneel at His feet?
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;And since woman wuz so blessed as to be counted worthy to be co-worker
+with God in the beginnin&rsquo; of the world&rsquo;s redemption; since He
+called her from the quiet obscurity of womanly rest and peace into the blessed
+martyrdom of renunciation and toil and sufferin&rsquo;, all to help a world
+that cared nothin&rsquo; for her, that cried out shame upon her.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;He will help her carry on the work of helpin&rsquo; a sinful world. He
+will protect her in it, she cannot be harmed or hindered, for the cause she
+loves of helpin&rsquo; men and wimmen, is God&rsquo;s cause too, and God will
+take care of His own. Herods full of greed and frightened selfishness may try
+to break her heart by efforts to kill the child she loves, but she will hold it
+so clost to her bosom he can&rsquo;t destroy it; and the light of the Divine
+will go before her, showin&rsquo; the way through the desert and wilderness
+mebby, but she shall bear it into safety.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;You spoke of Herod,&rdquo; sez he dreamily, &ldquo;the name sounds
+familiar to me. Was not Mr. Herod once in the United States Senate?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Not that one,&rdquo; sez I. &ldquo;He died some time ago, but I guess he
+has relatives there now, judgin&rsquo; from laws made there. You ask who Herod
+wuz, and as it all seems a new story to you, I will tell you. When the Saviour
+of the world wuz born in Bethlehem, and a woman wuz tryin&rsquo; to save His
+life, a man by the name of Herod wuz tryin&rsquo; his best out of selfishness
+and greed to murder Him.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ah! that was not right in Herod.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No, it hain&rsquo;t been called so. And what wuzn&rsquo;t right in him
+hain&rsquo;t right in his relations who are tryin&rsquo; to do the same thing
+to-day. Sellin&rsquo; for money the right to destroy the child the mother
+carries on her heart. Surroundin&rsquo; him with temptations so murderous, yet
+so enticin&rsquo; to youthful spirits, that the mother feels that as the laws
+are now, the grave is the only place of safety that God Himself can find for
+her boy. But because Herod wuz so mean it hain&rsquo;t no sign that all men are
+mean. Joseph wuz as likely as he could be.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Joseph?&rdquo; sez he pensively. &ldquo;Do you allude to our venerable
+speaker, Joe Cannon?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No,&rdquo; sez I. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m talkin&rsquo; Bible&mdash;I&rsquo;m
+talkin&rsquo; about Joseph; jest plain Joseph.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Ah! I see. I am not fully familiar with that work. Being so engrossed in
+politics, and political literature, I don&rsquo;t git any time to devote to
+less important publications.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I candidly, &ldquo;I knew you hadn&rsquo;t read it the minute you mentioned
+the book of Liliputians. But as I wuz sayin&rsquo;, Joseph wuz a likely man. He
+had the strength to lead the way, overcome obstacles, keep dangers from Mary,
+protect her tenderer form with the mantilly of his generous devotion.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;<i>But she carried the Child on her bosom</i>; ponderin&rsquo; high
+things in her heart that Joseph never dreamed of. That is what is wanted now,
+and in the future. The man and the woman walkin&rsquo; side by side. He a
+little ahead, mebby, to keep off dangers by his greater strength and courage.
+She a-carryin&rsquo; the infant Christ of Love, bearin&rsquo; the baby Peace in
+her bosom, carryin&rsquo; it into safety from them that seek to destroy it.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;And as I said before, if God called woman into this work, He will enable
+her to carry it through. He will protect her from her own weaknesses, and the
+misapprehensions and hard judgments and injustices of a gain-sayin&rsquo;
+world.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes, the star of hope is risin&rsquo; in the sky brighter and brighter,
+and wise men are even now comin&rsquo; to the mother of the new Redeemer, led
+by the star.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He sot demute. Silence rained for some time; and finally I spoke out solemnly
+through the rain:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Will you do Serepta&rsquo;s errents? Will you give her her rights? And
+will you break the Whiskey Ring?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He said he would love to do the errents, I had convinced him that it would be
+just and right to do &rsquo;em, but the Constitution of the United States stood
+up firm aginst &rsquo;em. As the laws of the United States wuz, he could not
+make any move toward doin&rsquo; either of the errents.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Can&rsquo;t the laws be changed?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Be changed? Change the laws of the United States? Tamper with the
+glorious Constitution that our fore-fathers left us&mdash;an immortal sacred
+legacy.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He jumped up on his feet and his second-hand smile fell off. He kinder shook as
+if he wuz skairt most to death and tremblin&rsquo; with horrow. He did it to
+skair me, I knew, but I knowed I meant well towards the Constitution and our
+old forefathers; and my principles stiddied me and held me firm and serene. And
+when he asked me agin in tones full of awe and horrow:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Can it be that I heard my ear aright? Or did you speak of changin&rsquo;
+the unalterable laws of the United States&mdash;tampering with the
+Constitution?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes, that is what I said. Hain&rsquo;t they never been changed?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He dropped that skairful look and put on a firm judicial one. He see that he
+could not skair me to death; an&rsquo; sez he, &ldquo;Oh, yes, they&rsquo;ve
+been changed in cases of necessity.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;For instance durin&rsquo; the Oncivil war it wuz changed to make
+Northern men cheap bloodhounds and hunters.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;it seemed to be a case of necessity and
+economy.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I know it,&rdquo; sez I; &ldquo;men wuz cheaper than any other breed of
+bloodhounds the slave-holders could employ to hunt men and wimmen with, and
+more faithful.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;it wuz a case of clear economy.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And sez I: &ldquo;The laws have been changed to benefit liquor dealers.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well, yes,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;it had been changed to enable whiskey
+dealers to utilize the surplus liquor they import.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez he, gittin&rsquo; kinder animated, for he wuz on a congenial and familar
+theme, &ldquo;Nobody, the best calculators in drunkards, can exactly calculate
+how much whiskey will be drunk in a year; and so, ruther than have the whiskey
+dealers suffer loss, the law had to be changed. And then,&rdquo; sez he,
+growin&rsquo; still more candid in his excitement, &ldquo;we are makin&rsquo; a
+powerful effort to change the laws now so as to take the tax off of whiskey, so
+it can be sold cheaper, and obtained in greater quantities by the masses. Any
+such great laws would justify a change in the Constitution and the laws; but
+for any frivolous cause, any trivial cause, madam, we male custodians of the
+sacred Constitution stand as walls of iron before it, guarding it from any
+shadow of change. Faithful we will be, faithful unto death.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;As it has been changed, it can be agin. And you jest said I had
+convinced you that Serepta&rsquo;s errents wuz errents of truth and justice,
+and you would love to do &rsquo;em.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well, yes, yes&mdash;I would love to&mdash;as it were&mdash;. But, my
+dear madam, much as I would like to oblige you, I have not the time to devote
+to the cause of Right and Justice. I don&rsquo;t think you realize the constant
+pressure of hard work that is ageing us and wearing us out, before our day.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;As I said, we have to watch the liquor interest constantly to see that
+the liquor dealers suffer no loss&mdash;we have to do that, of course.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And he continued dreamily, as if losin&rsquo; sight of me and talkin&rsquo; to
+himself: &ldquo;The wealthy Corporations and Trusts, we have to condemn them
+loudly to please the common people, and help &rsquo;em secretly to please
+ourselves, or our richest perkisits are lost. The Canal Ring, the Indian
+Agency, the Land Grabbers, the political bosses. In fact, we are surrounded by
+a host of bandits that we have to appease and profit by; oh, how these matters
+wear into the gray matter of our brains!&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Gray matter!&rdquo; sez I, with my nose uplifted to its extremest
+height, &ldquo;I should call it black matter!&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well, the name is immaterial, but these labors, though pocket filling,
+are brain wearing. And of late I and the rest of our loyal henchmen have been
+worn out in our labors in tariff revision. You know how we claim to help the
+common people by the revision; you&rsquo;ve probable read about it in the
+papers.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; sez I coldly, &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve hearn <i>talk</i>.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; sez he, &ldquo;but if we do succeed, after the most
+strenious efforts in getting the duty off champagne, green turtle, olives,
+etc., and put on to sugar, tea, cotton cloth and such like, with all this brain
+fag and brain labor&mdash;&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;And tongue labor!&rdquo; sez I in a icy axent.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes, after all this ceaseless toil the common people will not show any
+gratitude; we statesmen labor oft with aching hearts.&rdquo; And he leaned his
+forward on his hand and sithed.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But my looks wuz like ice-suckles on the north side of a barn. And I stopped
+his complaints and his sithes by askin&rsquo; in a voice that demanded a reply:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Can you and will you do Serepta&rsquo;s errents? Errents full of truth
+and justice and eternal right?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He said he knew they wuz jest runnin&rsquo; over with them qualities, but happy
+as it would make him to do &rsquo;em, he had to refuse owin&rsquo; to the fur
+more important matters he had named, and the many, many other laws and
+preambles that he hadn&rsquo;t time to name over to me. &ldquo;Mebby you have
+heard,&rdquo; sez he, &ldquo;that we are now engaged in making most important
+laws concerning moth-millers, and minny fish, and hog cholera. And take it with
+these important bills and the constant strain on our minds in tryin&rsquo; to
+pass laws to increase our own salaries, you can see jest how cramped we are for
+time. And though we would love to pass some laws of truth and
+righteousness&mdash;we fairly ache to&mdash;yet not havin&rsquo; the requisite
+time we are forced to lay &rsquo;em on the table or under it.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;I guess I may as well be
+a-goin&rsquo;.&rdquo; And I bid him a cool goodbye and started for the door.
+But jest as my hand wuz on the nub he jumped up and opened the door,
+wearin&rsquo; that boughten second-hand smile agin on his linement, and sez he:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Dear madam, perhaps Senator B. will do the errents for you.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I, &ldquo;Where is Senator B.?&rdquo; And he said I would find him at his
+Post of Duty at the Capitol.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I will hunt up the Post,&rdquo; and did. A
+grand enough place for a Emperor or a Zar is the Capitol of our great nation
+where I found him, a good natured lookin&rsquo; boy in buttons showin&rsquo; me
+the Post.
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap07"></a>VII.<br />
+&ldquo;NO HAMPERIN&rsquo; HITCHIN&rsquo; STRAPS&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+Well, Senator B. wanted to do the errents but said it wuz not his place, and
+sent me to Senator C., and he almost cried, he wanted to do &rsquo;em so bad,
+but stern duty tied him to his Post, he said, and he sent me to Senator D., and
+he <i>did</i> cry onto his handkerchief, he wanted to do the errents so bad,
+and said it would be such a good thing to have &rsquo;em done. He bust right
+into tears as he said he had to refuse to do &rsquo;em. Whether they wuz wet
+tears or dry ones I couldn&rsquo;t tell, his handkerchief wuz so big, but I
+hearn his sithes, and they wuz deep and powerful ones.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But as I sez to him, &ldquo;Wet tears, nor dry ones, nor windy sithes
+didn&rsquo;t help do the errents.&rdquo; So I went on his sobbin&rsquo; advice
+to Senator E., and he wuz huffy and didn&rsquo;t want to do &rsquo;em and said
+so. And said his wife had thirteen children, and wimmen instead of votin&rsquo;
+ort to go and do likewise.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I told him it wouldn&rsquo;t look well in onmarried wimmen and widders, and
+if they should foller her example folks would talk.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And he said, &ldquo;They ort to marry.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I said, &ldquo;As the fashion is now, wimmen had to wait for some man to
+ask &rsquo;em, and if they didn&rsquo;t come up to the mark and ask &rsquo;em,
+who wuz to blame?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He wouldn&rsquo;t answer, and looked sulky, but honest, and wouldn&rsquo;t tell
+me who to go to to git the errents done.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But jest outside his door I met the Senator I had left sobbin&rsquo; over the
+errents. He looked real hilarious, but drawed his face down when he ketched my
+eye, and sithed several times, and sent me to Senator F. and he sent me to
+Senator G.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And suffice it to say I wuz sent round, and talked to, and cried at, and sulked
+to, and smiled at and scowled at, and encouraged and discouraged, &rsquo;till
+my head swum and my knees wobbled under me. And with all my efforts and outlay
+of oratory and shue leather not one of Serepta Pester&rsquo;s errents could I
+git done, and no hopes held out of their ever bein&rsquo; done. And about the
+middle of the afternoon I gin up, there wuz no use in tryin&rsquo; any longer
+and I turned my weary tracks towards the outside door. But as bad as I felt, I
+couldn&rsquo;t help my sperit bein&rsquo; lifted up some by the grandeur about
+me.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Oh, my land! to stand in the immense hall and look up, and up, and see all the
+colors of the rain-bow and see what wonderful pictures there wuz up there in
+the sky above me as it were. Why, it seemed curiouser than any Northern lights
+I ever see in my life, and they stream up dretful curious sometimes. And as I
+walked through that lofty and most beautiful place and realized the size and
+majestic proportions of the buildin&rsquo; I wondered to myself that a small
+law, a little unjust law could ever be passed in such grand and magnificent
+surroundin&rsquo;s. And I sez to myself, it can&rsquo;t be the fault of the
+place anyway; the law-makers have a chance for their souls to soar if they want
+to, here is room and to spare to pass laws big as elephants and camels, and I
+wondered that they should ever try to pass laws as small as muskeeters and
+nats. Thinkses I, I wonder them little laws don&rsquo;t git to strollin&rsquo;
+round and git lost in them magnificent corridors. But I consoled myself,
+thinkin&rsquo; it wouldn&rsquo;t be no great loss if they did. But right here,
+as I wuz thinkin&rsquo; on these deep and lofty subjects, I met the good
+natured young chap that had showed me round and he sez:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;You look fatigued, mom.&rdquo; (Soarin&rsquo; even to yourself is
+tuckerin&rsquo;.) &ldquo;You look very fatigued; won&rsquo;t you take
+something?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I looked at him with a curious silent sort of a look; for I didn&rsquo;t know
+what he meant. Agin he looked clost at me and sort o&rsquo; pityin&rsquo;; and
+sez he, &ldquo;You look tired out, mom. Won&rsquo;t you take something? Let me
+treat you to something; what will you take, mom?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I thought he wuz actin&rsquo; dretful liberal, but I knew they had strange ways
+in Washington anyway. And I didn&rsquo;t know but it wuz their way to make some
+present to every woman that comes there, and I didn&rsquo;t want to act awkward
+and out of style, so I sez:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want to take anything, and don&rsquo;t see any reason why
+you should insist on&rsquo;t. But if I have got to take sunthin&rsquo; I had
+jest as soon have a few yards of factory cloth as anything. That always comes
+handy.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I thought that if he wuz determined to treat me to show his good feelin&rsquo;s
+towards me, I would git sunthin&rsquo; useful and that would do me some good,
+else what wuz the good of bein&rsquo; treated? And I thought that if I had got
+to take a present from a strange man, I would make a shirt for Josiah out of
+it. I thought that would save jealousy and make it right so fur as goodness
+went.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;But,&rdquo; sez he, &ldquo;I mean beer or wine or liquor of some
+kind.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I riz right up in my shues and dignity, and glared at him.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez he, &ldquo;There is a saloon right here handy in the buildin&rsquo;.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez I in awful axents, &ldquo;It is very appropriate to have it here
+handy!&rdquo; Sez I, &ldquo;Liquor duz more towards makin&rsquo; the laws of
+the United States from Caucus to Convention than anything else duz, and it is
+highly proper to have it here so they can soak the laws in it right off before
+they lay &rsquo;em onto the table or under &rsquo;em, or pass &rsquo;em onto
+the people. It is highly appropriate,&rdquo; sez I.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; sez he. &ldquo;It is very handy for the Senators and
+Congressmen, and let me get you a glass.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No, you won&rsquo;t!&rdquo; sez I firmly. &ldquo;The nation suffers
+enough from that room now without havin&rsquo; Josiah Allen&rsquo;s wife let
+in.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez he, &ldquo;If you have any feeling of delicacy in goin&rsquo; in there, let
+me make some wine here. I will get a glass of water and make you some pure
+grape wine, or French brandy, or corn or rye whiskey. I have all the drugs
+right here.&rdquo; And he took a little box out of his pocket. &ldquo;My father
+is a importer of rare old wines, and I know just how it is done. I have
+&rsquo;em all here, Capsicum, Coculus Indicus, alum, copperas, strychnine; I
+will make some of the choicest, oldest, and purest imported liquors we have in
+the country, in five minutes if you say so.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No!&rdquo; sez I firmly, &ldquo;when I want to foller Cleopatra&rsquo;s
+fashion and commit suicide, I will hire a rattlesnake and take my pizen as she
+did, on the outside.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, I got back to Hiram Cagwin&rsquo;s tired as a dog, and Serepta&rsquo;s
+errents ondone. But my conscience opholded me and told me I had done my very
+best, and man or woman can do no more.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, the next day but one wuz the big outdoor suffrage meetin&rsquo;. And we
+sot off in good season, Hiram feelin&rsquo; well enough to be left with the
+hired help. Polly started before we did with some of her college mates,
+lookin&rsquo; pretty as a pink with a red rose pinned over a achin&rsquo;
+heart, so I spoze, for she loved the young man who wuz out with another girl
+May-flowering. Burnin&rsquo; zeal and lofty principle can&rsquo;t take the
+place in a woman&rsquo;s heart of love and domestic happiness, and men
+needn&rsquo;t be afraid it will. There is no more danger on&rsquo;t than there
+is of a settin&rsquo; hen wantin&rsquo; to leave her nest to be a commercial
+traveler. Nature has made laws for wimmen and hens that no ballot, male or
+female, can upset.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Josiah and Lorinda and I went in the trolley in good season, so&rsquo;s to git
+a sightly place, Lorinda protestin&rsquo; all the time aginst the indelicacy
+and impropriety of wimmen&rsquo;s appearin&rsquo; in outdoor meetin&rsquo;s,
+forgittin&rsquo;, I spose, the dense procession of wimmen that fills the
+avenues every day, follerin&rsquo; Fashion and Display. As nigh as I could make
+out the impropriety consisted in wimmen&rsquo;s follerin&rsquo; after Justice
+and Right.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Josiah&rsquo;s face looked dubersome. I guess he wuz worryin&rsquo; over his
+offer to represent me, and thinkin&rsquo; of Aunt Susan and the twins.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But as it turned out I met Diantha while Josiah wuz in a shop buyin&rsquo; some
+peppermint lozengers, and she said her niece had come from the West, and they
+got along all right. So that lifted my burden. But I thought best not to tell
+Josiah, as he wuz so bound to represent me. I thought it wouldn&rsquo;t do any
+hurt to let him think it over about the job a man took on himself when he sot
+out to represent a woman. They wouldn&rsquo;t like it in lots of ways, as
+willin&rsquo; as they seem to be in print.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Wimmen go through lots of things calm and patient that would make a man flinch
+and shy off like a balky horse, and visey versey. I wouldn&rsquo;t want to
+represent Josiah lots of times, breakin&rsquo; colts, ploughin&rsquo;
+greensward, cuttin&rsquo; cord-wood etc., etc. Men and wimmen want equal legal
+rights to represent themselves and their own sex which are different, and
+always must be, and both sexes don&rsquo;t want to be hampered and sot down on
+by the other one. That is gauldin&rsquo; to human nater, male or female.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+We got a good place nigh the speakers&rsquo; stand, and we hadn&rsquo;t stood
+there long before the parade hove in sight, the yeller banners streamin&rsquo;
+out like sunshine on a rainy day, police outriders, music, etc.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+More than a hundred automobiles led the parade and five times as many wimmen
+walkin&rsquo; afoot. A big grand-stand with the lady speakers and their friends
+on it, all dressed pretty as pinks. For the old idee that suffragists
+don&rsquo;t care for attractive dress and domestic life wuz exploded long ago,
+and many other old superstitions went up in the blaze.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Those of us who have gray hair can remember when if a man spoke favorably of
+women&rsquo;s rights the sarcastic question was asked him: &ldquo;How old is
+Susan B. Anthony?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And this fine wit and cuttin&rsquo; ridicule would silence argument and quench
+the spirit of the upholder.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But the world moves. Susan&rsquo;s memory is beloved and revered, and the
+contemptious ridicule of the onthinkin&rsquo; and ignorant only nourished the
+laurels the world lays on her tomb.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+At that time accordin&rsquo; to popular opinion a suffragist wuz a slatternly
+woman with uncombed locks, dangling shoe strings, and bloomers, stridin&rsquo;
+through an unswept house onmindful of dirty children or hungry husband, but the
+world moves onward and public opinion with it. Suffragists are the best
+mothers, the best housekeepers, the best dressers of any wimmen in the land.
+Search the records and you&rsquo;ll find it so, and why?
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Because they know sunthin&rsquo;, it takes common sense to make a gooseberry
+pie as it ort to be. And the more a woman knows and the more justice she
+demands, the better for her husband. The same sperit that rebels at tyranny and
+injustice rebels at dirt, disorder, discomfort, and all unpleasant conditions.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I looked ahead with my mind&rsquo;s eye and see them pretty college girls
+settled down in pleasant homes of their own, where sanitary laws prevailed,
+where the babies wuzn&rsquo;t fed pickles and cabbage, and kep&rsquo; in
+air-tight enclosures. Where the husbands did not have to go outside their own
+homes to find cheer and comfort, and intelligent conversation, and where Love
+and Common Sense walked hand in hand toward Happiness and Contentment, Justice,
+with her blinders offen her eyes, goin&rsquo; ahead on &rsquo;em. I never liked
+the idee of Justice wearin&rsquo; them bandages over her eyes. She ort to have
+both eyes open; if anybody ever needed good eyesight she duz, to choose the
+straight and narrer road, lookin&rsquo; backward to see the mistakes she has
+made in the past, so&rsquo;s to shun &rsquo;em in the future, and lookin&rsquo;
+all round her in the present to see where she can help matters, and
+lookin&rsquo; fur off in the future to the bright dawn of a Tomorrow. To the
+shinin&rsquo; mount of Equal Rights and full Liberty. Where she sees men and
+wimmen standin&rsquo; side by side with no halters or hamperin&rsquo;
+hitchin&rsquo; straps on either on &rsquo;em. He more gentle and considerate,
+and she less cowardly and emotional.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Good land! what could Justice do blind in one eye and wimmen on the blind side?
+But good sensible wimmen are reachin&rsquo; up and pullin&rsquo; the bandages
+offen her eyes. She&rsquo;s in a fair way to git her eyesight. But I&rsquo;m
+eppisodin&rsquo;, and to resoom forward.
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap08"></a>VIII.<br />
+&ldquo;OLD MOM NATER LISTENIN&rsquo;&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+There wuz some pleasant talkin&rsquo; and jokin&rsquo; between bystanders and
+suffragettes, and then some good natured but keen and sensible speeches. And
+one pretty speaker told about the doin&rsquo;s at Albany and Washington. How
+women&rsquo;s respectful pleas for justice are treated there. How the
+law-makers, born and nussed by wimmen and dependent on &rsquo;em for comfort
+and happiness, use the wimmen&rsquo;s tax money to help make laws makin&rsquo;
+her of no legal importance only as helpless figgers to hang taxation and
+punishment on.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Old Mom Nater had been listenin&rsquo; clost, her sky-blue eyes shinin&rsquo;
+with joy to see her own sect present such a noble appearance in the parade. But
+when these insults and indignities wuz brung up to her mind agin and she
+realized afresh how wimmen couldn&rsquo;t git no more rights accorded to her
+than a dog or a hen, and worse. For a hen or a dog wouldn&rsquo;t be taxed to
+raise money for turkle soup and shampain to nourish the law-makers whilst they
+made the laws agin &rsquo;em&mdash;Mom Nater&rsquo;s eyes clouded over with
+indignation and resentment, and she boo-hooed right out a-cryin&rsquo;.
+Helpless tears, of no more account than other females have shed, and will, as
+they set on their hard benches with idiots, lunaticks, and criminals.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Of course she wiped up her tears pretty soon, not willin&rsquo; to lose any of
+the wimmen&rsquo;s bright speeches. But when her tear-drops fell fast, Josiah
+sez to me, &ldquo;You&rsquo;ll see them wimmen run like hikers now, wimmen
+always thought more of shiffon and fol-de-rols than they did of
+principle.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I sez, &ldquo;Wait and see,&rdquo; (we wuz under a awnin&rsquo; and
+protected).
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But the young and pretty speaker who wore a light silk dress and exquisite
+bunnet, kep&rsquo; right on talkin&rsquo; jest as calmly as if she didn&rsquo;t
+know her pretty dress wuz bein&rsquo; spilte and her bunnet gittin&rsquo; wet
+as sop, and I sez to Josiah:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;When wimmen are so in earnest, and want anything so much they can stand
+soakin&rsquo; in their best dresses, and let their Sunday bunnets be spilte on
+their heads, not noticin&rsquo; &rsquo;em seemin&rsquo;ly, but keep right on
+pleadin&rsquo; for right and justice, they are in a fair way of gittin&rsquo;
+what they are after.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He looked kinder meachin&rsquo; but didn&rsquo;t dispute me.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+The speeches wuz beautiful and convincin&rsquo;, and pretty soon old Mom Nater
+stopped cryin&rsquo; to hear &rsquo;em, and she and I both listened full of joy
+and happiness to see with what eloquence and justice our sect wuz
+pleadin&rsquo; our cause. Their arguments wuz so reasonable and
+convincin&rsquo; that I said to myself, I don&rsquo;t see how anybody can help
+bein&rsquo; converted to this righteous cause, the liftin&rsquo; up of wimmen
+from her uncomfortable crouchin&rsquo; poster with criminals and idiots, up to
+the place she should occupy by the side of other good citizens of the United
+States, with all the legal and moral rights that go with that noble title.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And right whilst I wuz thinkin&rsquo; this, sunthin&rsquo; wuz happenin&rsquo;
+that proved I wuz right in my eppisodin&rsquo;, and somebody awful sot agin it
+wuz bein&rsquo; converted then and there (but of this more anon and bom-bye).
+We stayed till we heard the last word of the last speech, I happy and proud in
+sperit, Lorinda partly converted, she couldn&rsquo;t help it, though she
+wouldn&rsquo;t own up to it at that juncter. And Josiah lookin&rsquo; real
+deprested, the thought of representin&rsquo; me wuz worryin&rsquo; him I knew,
+for I hearn him say (soty vosy), &ldquo;Represent wimmen or not, I hain&rsquo;t
+goin&rsquo; to set up all night with no old woman, and lift her round, nor dry
+nuss no twins.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And thinkin&rsquo; his sperit wuz pierced to a sufficient depth by his
+apprehension, so reason could be planted and take root, and he wouldn&rsquo;t
+be so anxious in the future to represent a woman, I told him what Diantha said
+and we all went home in good sperits. The sun shone clear, the rain had washed
+the face of the Earth till it shone, and everything looked gay and joyous.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+When we got to Lorinda&rsquo;s we see a auto standin&rsquo; in front of the
+door full of flowery branches in front and the pink posies lookin&rsquo; no
+more bright and rosy than the faces of the two young folks settin&rsquo; there.
+It wuz Polly and Royal.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+It seemed that when he and Maud got back from the country (and they
+didn&rsquo;t stay long, Royal wuz so restless and oneasy) Maud insisted on his
+takin&rsquo; her to the suffrage meetin&rsquo; jest to make fun on&rsquo;t, so
+I spoze. She thought she had rubbed out Polly&rsquo;s image and made a
+impression herself on Royal&rsquo;s heart that only needed stompin&rsquo; in a
+little deeper, and she thought ridicule would be the stomper she needed.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But when they got to the meetin&rsquo; and he see Polly settin&rsquo; like a
+lily amongst flowers, and read in her lovely face the earnest desire to lift
+the burden from the heavy laden, comfort the sorrowful, right the wrong, and do
+what she could in her day and generation&mdash;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I spoze his eyes could only see her sweet face. But he couldn&rsquo;t help his
+ears from hearin&rsquo; the reasonable, eloquent words of earnest and womanly
+wimmen, so full of good sense and truth and justice that no reasonable person
+could dispute &rsquo;em, and when he contrasted all this with the
+sneerin&rsquo; face, the sarcastic egotistic prattle of Maud, the veil dropped
+from his eyes, and he see with the New Vision.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+You know how it wuz with Saul the Scoffer who went breathin&rsquo; out
+vengeance, and Eternal Right stopped him on his way with its great light. Well,
+I spoze it wuz a bright ray from that same light that shone down into
+Royal&rsquo;s heart and made him see. He wuz always good hearted and
+generous&mdash;men have always been better than the laws they have made. He
+left Maud at her home not fur away and hastened back, way-laid Polly, and bore
+her home in triumph and a thirty-horse-power car.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+It don&rsquo;t make much difference I spoze how or where anybody is converted.
+The Bible speaks of some bein&rsquo; ketched out of the fire, and I spoze it is
+about the same if they are ketched out of the rain. &rsquo;Tennyrate the same
+rain that washed some of the color off Maud&rsquo;s cheeks, seemed to wash away
+the blindin&rsquo; mist of prejudice and antagonism from Royal&rsquo;s mental
+vision, leavin&rsquo; his sperit ready for the great white light of truth and
+justice to strike in. And that very day and hour he come round to Polly&rsquo;s
+way of thinkin&rsquo;, and bein&rsquo; smart as a whip and so rich, I suppose
+he will be a great accusation to the cause.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, the next day but one the Allens met in a pleasant grove on the river
+shore and we had a good growin&rsquo; time. Royal bein&rsquo; as you may say
+one of the family, took us all to the grove in his big tourin&rsquo; car, and
+the fourth trip he took Polly alone, and wuzn&rsquo;t it queer that, though the
+load wuz fur lighter, it took him three times as long as the other three trips
+together? Why, they never got there till dinner wuz on the table, and then they
+didn&rsquo;t seem to care a mite about the extra good food.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I made allowances, for as I looked into their glowin&rsquo; faces I knowed
+they wuz partakin&rsquo; of fruit from the full branches of first love, true
+love. Rich fruit that gives the divinest satisfaction of any this old earth
+affords. Food that never changes through the centuries, though fashion often
+changes, and riotous plenty or food famine may exalt or depress the sperit of
+the householder. Nothin&rsquo; but time has any power over this divine
+fruitage. He gradually, as the light of the honeymoon wanes, whets his old
+scythe and mows down some of the luxuriant branches, either cuttin&rsquo; a
+full swath, or one at a time, and the blessed consumers have to come down to
+the ordinary food of mortals. But this wuz still fur away from them.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I knowed too that the ordinary food of ordinary mortals partook of under
+the full harvest moon of domestic comfort and contentment wuz not to be
+despised, though fur different. And the light fur different from the glow and
+the glamour that wropped them two together and all the rest of the world away
+from &rsquo;em.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I&rsquo;m eppisodin&rsquo; too much, and to resoom forward.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+As I said, we had a happy growin&rsquo; time at the Reunion, Josiah bein&rsquo;
+in fine feather to see the relation on his side presentin&rsquo; such a noble
+appearance. And like a good wife I sympathized with him in his pride and
+happiness, though I told him they didn&rsquo;t present any better appearance
+than the same number of Smiths would. And their cookin&rsquo;, though
+excellent, wuz no better than the Smiths could cook if they sot out to.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He bein&rsquo; so good natered didn&rsquo;t dispute me outright, but said he
+thought the Allens made better nut-cakes than the Smiths.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But they don&rsquo;t, no such thing. In fact I think the Smith nut-cakes are
+lighter and have a more artistic twist to &rsquo;em and don&rsquo;t devour so
+much fat a-fryin&rsquo;.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I&rsquo;d hate to set Josiah down to any better vittles. I d&rsquo;no as I
+would dast let him loose at the table at a Smith reunion, for he eat fur too
+much as it wuz. I had to give him five pepsin lozengers and some pepper tea.
+And then I looked out all night for night mairs to ride on his chist. But he
+come through it alive though with considerable pain.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+We stayed two or three days longer with Lorinda, and then she and Hiram went
+part way with us as we visited our way home. We&rsquo;ve got relations
+livin&rsquo; all along the river that we owed visits to. And we went to see a
+number of &rsquo;em and enjoyed our four selves first rate. These things all
+took place more than a year ago and another man sets in the high chair, before
+which I laid Serepta&rsquo;s errents, a man not so hefty mebby weighed by
+common steelyards, but one of noble weight judged by mental and moral scales.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I d&rsquo;no whether I&rsquo;d had any better luck if I&rsquo;d presented
+Serepta&rsquo;s errents to him. Sometimes when I look in the kind eyes of his
+picter, and read his noble and eloquent words that I believe come from his very
+soul, I think mebby I&rsquo;d been more lucky if he&rsquo;d sot in the chair
+that day. But then I d&rsquo;no, there are so many influences and hendrances
+planted like thorns in the cushion of that chair that a man, no matter how
+earnest he strives to do jest right, can&rsquo;t help bein&rsquo; pricked by
+&rsquo;em and held back. And I know he could never done them errents in the
+time she sot, but I&rsquo;m in hopes he&rsquo;ll throw his powerful influence
+jest as fur as he can on the side of right, and justice to all the citizens of
+the U.S., wimmen as well as men.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&rsquo;Tennyrate, he has showed more heroism now than many soldiers who risk
+life on the battle field. For the worst foe to fight and conquer is Ridicule;
+and he and others in high places have attackted Fashion so entrenched in the
+solid armour of Habit that most public men wouldn&rsquo;t have dasted to take
+arms agin it.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And the long waves of Time must swash up agin the shores of Eternity, before
+the good it has done can be estimated. How fur the influence has extended. How
+many weak wills been strengthened. How many broken hearts healed. How many
+young lives inspired to nobler and saner living.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But to resoom forward, I can&rsquo;t nor won&rsquo;t carry them errents of
+Serepta&rsquo;s there again. It is too wearin&rsquo; for one of my age and my
+rheumatiz. What a tedious time I did put in there. It wuz a day long to be
+remembered by me.
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap09"></a>IX.<br />
+THE WOMEN&rsquo;S PARADE</h2>
+
+<p>
+Josiah come home from Jonesville one day, all wrought up. He&rsquo;d took off a
+big crate of eggs and got returns from several crates he&rsquo;d sent to New
+York, an&rsquo; he sez to me:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;That consarned Middleman is cheatin&rsquo; me the worst kind. I know the
+yaller Plymouth Rock eggs ort to bring mor&rsquo;n the white Leghorns;
+they&rsquo;re bigger and it stands to reason they&rsquo;re worth more, and he
+don&rsquo;t give nigh so much. I believe he eats &rsquo;em himself and
+that&rsquo;s why he wants to git &rsquo;em cheaper.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No Middleman,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;could eat fifty dozen a week.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;He could if he eat enough at one time. &rsquo;Tennyrate, I&rsquo;m
+goin&rsquo; to New York to see about it.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;When are you goin&rsquo;?&rdquo; sez I.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I&rsquo;m goin&rsquo; to-morrow mornin&rsquo;. I&rsquo;m goin&rsquo; in
+onexpected and I lay out to catch him devourin&rsquo; them big eggs
+himself.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Oh, shaw!&rdquo; sez I. &ldquo;The idee!&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well, I say the Trusts and Middlemen are dishonest as the old Harry.
+Don&rsquo;t you remember what one on &rsquo;em writ to Uncle Sime Bentley and
+what he writ back? He&rsquo;d sent a great load of potatoes to him and he
+didn&rsquo;t get hardly anything for &rsquo;em, only their big bill for
+sellin&rsquo; &rsquo;em. They charged him for freightage, carage, storage,
+porterage, weightage, and to make their bill longer, they put in <i>ratage</i>
+and <i>satage</i>.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Uncle Sime writ back &lsquo;You infarnel thief, you, put in
+&ldquo;stealage&rdquo; and keep the whole on&rsquo;t.&rsquo;&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I sez, &ldquo;They&rsquo;re not all dishonest. There are good men among
+&rsquo;em as well as bad.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well, I lay out to see to it myself, and if they ever charge me for
+&lsquo;ratage&rsquo; and &lsquo;satage&rsquo; I&rsquo;m goin&rsquo; to see what
+they are, and how they look.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;if you&rsquo;re bound to go, I&rsquo;ll get
+up and get a good breakfast and go with you.&rdquo; It was the day of the
+Woman&rsquo;s Suffrage Parade and I wanted to see it. I wanted to like a dog,
+and had ever since I hearn of it. Though some of the Jonesvillians felt
+different. The Creation Searchin&rsquo; Society wuz dretful exercised about it.
+The President&rsquo;s stepma is a strong She Aunty and has always ruled
+Philander with an iron hand. I&rsquo;ve always noticed that women who
+didn&rsquo;t want any rights always took the right to have their own way. But
+&rsquo;tennyrate Philander come up a very strong He Aunty. And he felt that the
+Creation Searchers ort to go to New York that day to assist the Aunties in
+sneerin&rsquo; at the marchers, writin&rsquo; up the parade, and helpin&rsquo;
+count &rsquo;em. Philander wuz always good at figures, specially at
+subtraction, and he and his Step Ma thought he ort to be there to help.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I told Josiah I guessed the She Aunties didn&rsquo;t need no help at that.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But Philander called a meetin&rsquo; of the Creation Searchers to make
+arrangements to go. And I spoze the speech he made at the meetin&rsquo; wuz a
+powerful effort. And the members most all on &rsquo;em believin&rsquo; as he
+did&mdash;they said it wuz a dretful interestin&rsquo; meetin&rsquo;.
+Sunthin&rsquo; like a love feast, only more wrought up and excitin&rsquo;.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+The editor of the <i>Auger</i> printed the whole thing in his paper, and said
+it give a staggerin&rsquo; blow agin Woman&rsquo;s Suffrage, and he
+didn&rsquo;t know but it wuz a death blow&mdash;he hoped it wuz.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;A Woman&rsquo;s Parade,&rdquo; sez Philander, &ldquo;is the most
+abominable sight ever seen on our planetary system. Onprotected woman dressed
+up in fine clothes standin&rsquo; up on her feet, and paradin&rsquo; herself
+before strange men. Oh! how bold! Oh! how onwomanly! No wonder,&rdquo; says he,
+&ldquo;the She Aunties are shocked at the sight, and say they marched to
+attract the attention of men. Why can&rsquo;t women stay to home and set down
+and knit? And then men would love &rsquo;em. But if they keep on with these
+bold, forward actions, men won&rsquo;t love &rsquo;em, and they will find out
+so. And it has always been, and is now, man&rsquo;s greatest desire and
+chiefest aim he has aimed at, to protect women, to throw the shinin&rsquo;
+mantilly of his constant devotion about her delikit form and shield her and
+guard her like the very apples in his eyes.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Woman is too sweet and tender a flower to have any such hardship put
+upon her, and it almost crazes a man, and makes him temporarily out of his
+head, to see women do anything to hazard that inheriant delicacy of hern, that
+always appealed so to the male man.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Let us go forth, clad in our principles (and ordinary clothing, of
+course), and show just where we stand on the woman question, and do all we can
+to assist the gentle feminine She Aunties. Lovely, retirin&rsquo; females whose
+pictures we so often see gracin&rsquo; the sensational newspapers. Their white
+womanly neck and shoulders, glitterin&rsquo; with jewels, no brighter than
+their eyes. They don&rsquo;t appear there for sex appeal, or to win admiration.
+No indeed! No doubt they shrink from the publicity. And also shrink from making
+speeches in the Senate chambers or the halls of Justice, but will do so,
+angelic martyrs that they are, to hold their erring Suffrage sisters back from
+their brazen efforts at publicity and public speakin&rsquo;.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+They said his speech wuz cheered wildly, give out for publication, and entered
+into the moments of the Society.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But after all, it happened real curious the day of the Parade every
+leadin&rsquo; Creation Searcher had some impediment in his way, and
+couldn&rsquo;t go, and of course, the Society didn&rsquo;t want to go without
+its leaders.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Mis&rsquo; Philander Daggett, the president&rsquo;s wife, wuz paperin&rsquo;
+her settin&rsquo; room and parlor overhead. She wuz expectin&rsquo; company and
+couldn&rsquo;t put it off. And bein&rsquo; jest married, and thinkin&rsquo; the
+world of her, Philander said he dassent leave home for fear she&rsquo;d fall
+offen the barrel and break her neck. She had a board laid acrost two barrels to
+stand up on. And every day Philander would leave his outside work and come into
+the house, and set round and watch her&mdash;he thought so much of her. I
+suppose he wanted to catch her if she fell. But I didn&rsquo;t think she would
+fall. She is young and tuff, and she papered it real good, though it wuz
+dretful hard on her arm sockets and back.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And the Secretary&rsquo;s wife wuz puttin&rsquo; in a piece of onions. She
+thought she would make considerable by it, and she will, if onions keep up. But
+it is turrible hard on a woman&rsquo;s back to weed &rsquo;em. But she is
+ambitious; she raised a flock of fifty-six turkeys last year besides
+doin&rsquo; her house work, and makin&rsquo; seventy-five yards of rag carpet.
+And she thought onions wouldn&rsquo;t be so wearin&rsquo; on her as turkeys,
+for onions, she said, will stay where they are put, but turkeys are born
+wanderers and hikers. And they led her through sun and rain, swamp and swale,
+uphill and downhill, a-chasin&rsquo; &rsquo;em up, but she made well by
+&rsquo;em. Well, in puttin&rsquo; in her onion seed, she overworked herself and
+got a crick in her back, so she couldn&rsquo;t stir hand nor foot for two days.
+And bein&rsquo; only just them two, her husband had to stay home to see to
+things.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And the Treasurer&rsquo;s wife is canvassin&rsquo; for the life of William J.
+Bryan. And wantin&rsquo; to make all she could, she took a longer tramp than
+common, and didn&rsquo;t hear of the Parade or meetin&rsquo; of the C.S.S. at
+all. She writ home a day or two before the meetin&rsquo;, that she wuz
+goin&rsquo; as long as her legs held out, and they needn&rsquo;t write to her,
+for she didn&rsquo;t know where she would be.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, of course, the Creation Searchers didn&rsquo;t want to go without their
+officers. They said they couldn&rsquo;t make no show if they did. So they give
+up goin&rsquo;. But I spoze they made fun of the Woman&rsquo;s Parade amongst
+theirselves, and mourned over their indelikit onwomanly actions, and worried
+about it bein&rsquo; too hard for &rsquo;em, and sneered at &rsquo;em
+considerable.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, Josiah always loves to have me with him, an&rsquo; though he&rsquo;d made
+light of the Parade, he didn&rsquo;t object to my goin&rsquo;. And suffice it
+to say that we arrove at that Middleman&rsquo;s safe and sound, though why we
+didn&rsquo;t git lost in that grand immense depo and wander &rsquo;round there
+all day like babes in the woods, is more&rsquo;n I can tell.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+The Middleman wuzn&rsquo;t dishonest: he convinced Josiah on it. He had shipped
+the colored eggs somewhere, and of course he couldn&rsquo;t pay as much, and he
+never had hearn of <i>Ratage</i> or <i>Satage</i>. He wuz a real pleasant
+Middleman, and hearing me say how much I wanted to see the Woman&rsquo;s
+Parade, he invited us to go upstairs and set by a winder, where there was a
+good view on&rsquo;t. We&rsquo;d eat our lunch on the train and we accepted his
+invitation, and sot down by a winder then and there, though it wuz a hour or so
+before the time sot for the Parade. And I should have taken solid comfort
+watchin&rsquo; the endless procession of men and women and vehicles of all
+sorts and descriptions, but Josiah made so many slightin&rsquo; remarks on the
+dress of the females passin&rsquo; below on the sidewalk, that it made me feel
+bad. And to tell the truth, though I didn&rsquo;t think best to own up to it to
+him, I <i>did</i> blush for my sect to see the way some on &rsquo;em rigged
+themselves out.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;See that thing!&rdquo; Josiah sez, as a woman passed by with her hat
+drawed down over one eye, and a long quill standin&rsquo; out straight behind
+more&rsquo;n a foot, an&rsquo; her dress puckered in so &rsquo;round the
+bottom, she couldn&rsquo;t have took a long step if a mad dog wuz chasin&rsquo;
+her&mdash;to say nothin&rsquo; of bein&rsquo; perched up on such high heels,
+that she fairly tottled when she walked.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez Josiah: &ldquo;Does that <i>thing</i> know enough to vote?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No,&rdquo; sez I, reasonably, &ldquo;she don&rsquo;t. But most probable
+if she had bigger things to think about she&rsquo;d loosen the puckerin&rsquo;
+strings &rsquo;round her ankles, push her hat back out of her eyes, an&rsquo;
+get down on her feet again.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why, Samantha,&rdquo; says he, &ldquo;if you had on one of them skirts
+tied &rsquo;round your ankles, if I wuz a-dyin&rsquo; on the upper shelf in the
+buttery, you couldn&rsquo;t step up on a chair to get to me to save your life,
+an&rsquo; I&rsquo;d have to die there alone.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why should you be dyin&rsquo; on the buttery shelf, Josiah?&rdquo; sez
+I.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Oh, that wuz jest a figger of speech, Samantha.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;But folks ort to be mejum in figgers of speech, Josiah, and not go too
+fur.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Do you think, Samantha, that anybody can go too fur in describin&rsquo;
+them fool skirts, and them slit skirts, and the immodesty and indecensy of some
+of them dresses?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<div class="fig" style="width:100%;">
+<a name="illus04"></a>
+<a href="images/sam164.jpg">
+<img src="images/sam164.jpg" width="356" height="500" alt="Illustration:" /></a>
+<p class="caption">&ldquo;Sez Josiah, &lsquo;Does that thing know enough to
+vote?&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
+</div>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know as they can,&rdquo; sez I, sadly.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Jest look at that thing,&rdquo; sez he again.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And as I looked, the hot blush of shame mantillied my cheeks, for I felt that
+my sect was disgraced by the sight. She wuz real pretty, but she didn&rsquo;t
+have much of any clothes on, and what she did wear wuzn&rsquo;t in the right
+place; not at all.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez Josiah, &ldquo;That girl would look much more modest and decent if she wuz
+naked, for then she might be took for a statute.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I sez, &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t blame the good Priest for sendin&rsquo; them
+away from the Lord&rsquo;s table, sayin&rsquo;, &lsquo;I will give no communion
+to a Jezabel.&rsquo; And the pity of it is,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;lots of them
+girls are innocent and don&rsquo;t realize what construction will be put on the
+dress they blindly copy from some furrin fashion plate.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Then quite an old woman passed by, also robed or disrobed in the
+prevailin&rsquo; fashion, and Josiah sez, soty vosy, &ldquo;I should think she
+wuz old enough to know sunthin&rsquo;. Who wants to see her old bones?&rdquo;
+And he sez to me, real uppish, &ldquo;Do you think them things know enough to
+vote?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But jest then a young man went by dressed fashionably, but if he hadn&rsquo;t
+had the arm of a companion, he couldn&rsquo;t have walked a step; his face wuz
+red and swollen, and dissipated, and what expression wuz left in his face wuz a
+fool expression, and both had cigarettes in their mouths, and I sez,
+&ldquo;Does <i>that</i> thing know enough to vote?&rdquo; And jest behind them
+come a lot of furrin laborers, rough and rowdy-lookin&rsquo;, with no more
+expression in their faces than a mule or any other animal. &ldquo;Do
+<i>they</i> know enough to vote?&rdquo; sez I. &ldquo;As for the fitness for
+votin&rsquo; it is pretty even on both sides. Good intelligent men ortn&rsquo;t
+to lose the right of suffrage for the vice and ignorance of some of their sect,
+and that argument is jest as strong for the other sect.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But before Josiah could reply, we hearn the sound of gay music, and the Parade
+began to march on before us. First a beautiful stately figure seated fearlessly
+on a dancin&rsquo; horse, that tossted his head as if proud of the burden he
+wuz carryin&rsquo;. She managed the prancin&rsquo; steed with one hand, and
+with the other held aloft the flag of our country. Jest as women ort to, and
+have to. They have got to manage wayward pardners, children and domestics who,
+no matter how good they are, will take their bits in their mouths, and go
+sideways some of the time, but can be managed by a sensible, affectionate hand,
+and with her other hand at the same time she can carry her principles aloft,
+wavin&rsquo; in every domestic breeze, frigid or torrid, plain to be seen by
+everybody.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Then come the wives and relations of Senators and Congressmen, showin&rsquo;
+that bein&rsquo; right on the spot they knowed what wimmen needed. Then the
+wimmen voters from free Suffrage states, showin&rsquo; by their noble looks
+that votin&rsquo; hadn&rsquo;t hurt &rsquo;em any. They carried the most
+gorgeous banner in the whole Parade. Then the Wimmen&rsquo;s Political Union,
+showin&rsquo; plain in their faces that understandin&rsquo; the laws that
+govern her ain&rsquo;t goin&rsquo; to keep woman from looking beautiful and
+attractive.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+On and on they come, gray-headed women and curly-headed children from every
+station in life: the millionairess by the working woman, and the fashionable
+society woman by the business one. Two women on horseback, and one
+blowin&rsquo; a bugle, led the way for the carriage of Madam Antoinette
+Blackwell. I wonder if she ever dreamed when she wuz tryin&rsquo; to climb the
+hill of knowledge through the thorny path of sex persecution, that she would
+ever have a bugle blowed in front of her, to honor her for her efforts, and
+form a part of such a glorious Parade of the sect she give her youth and
+strength to free.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+How they swept on, borne by the waves of music, heralded by wavin&rsquo;
+banners of purple and white and gold, bearin&rsquo; upliftin&rsquo; and noble
+mottoes. Physicians, lawyers, nurses, authors, journalists, artists, social
+workers, dressmakers, milliners, women from furrin countries dressed in their
+quaint costumes, laundresses, clerks, shop girls, college girls, all
+bearin&rsquo; the pennants and banners of their different colleges: Vassar,
+Wellesley, Smith, etc., etc. High-school pupils, Woman&rsquo;s Suffrage League,
+Woman&rsquo;s Social League, and all along the brilliant line each division
+dressed in beautiful costumes and carryin&rsquo; their own gorgeous banners.
+And anon or oftener all along the long, long procession bands of music
+pealin&rsquo; out high and sweet, as if the Spirit of Music, who is always
+depictered as a woman, was glad and proud to do honor to her own sect. And all
+through the Parade you could see every little while men on foot and on
+horseback, not a great many, but jest enough to show that the really noble men
+wuz on their side. For, as I&rsquo;ve said more formally, that is one of the
+most convincin&rsquo; arguments for Woman&rsquo;s Suffrage. In fact, it
+don&rsquo;t need any other. That bad men fight against Women&rsquo;s Suffrage
+with all their might.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Down by the big marble library, the grand-stand wuz filled with men seated to
+see their wives march by on their road to Victory. I hearn and believe, they
+wuz a noble-lookin&rsquo; set of men. They had seen their wives in the past
+chasin&rsquo; Fashion and Amusement, and why shouldn&rsquo;t they enjoy
+seein&rsquo; them follow Principle and Justice? Well, I might talk all day and
+not begin to tell of the beauty and splendor of the Woman&rsquo;s Parade. And
+the most impressive sight to me wuz to see how the leaven of individual right
+and justice had entered into all these different classes of society, and how
+their enthusiasm and earnestness must affect every beholder.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And in my mind I drawed pictures of the different modes of our American women
+and our English sisters, each workin&rsquo; for the same cause, but in what a
+different manner. Of course, our English sisters may have more reason for their
+militant doin&rsquo;s; more unjust laws regarding marriage&mdash;divorce, and
+care of children, and I can&rsquo;t blame them married females for
+wantin&rsquo; to control their own money, specially if they earnt it by
+scrubbin&rsquo; floors and washin&rsquo;. I can&rsquo;t blame &rsquo;em for not
+wantin&rsquo; their husbands to take that money from them and their children,
+specially if they&rsquo;re loafers and drunkards. And, of course, there are no
+men so noble and generous as our American men. But jest lookin&rsquo; at the
+matter from the outside and comparin&rsquo; the two, I wuz proud indeed of our
+Suffragists.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+While our English sisters feel it their duty to rip and tear, burn and pillage,
+to draw attention to their cause, and reach the gole (which I believe they have
+sot back for years) through the smoke and fire of carnage, our American
+Suffragettes employ the gentle, convincin&rsquo; arts of beauty and reason.
+Some as the quiet golden sunshine draws out the flowers and fruit from the cold
+bosom of the earth. Mindin&rsquo; their own business, antagonizin&rsquo; and
+troublin&rsquo; no one, they march along and show to every beholder jest how
+earnest they be. They quietly and efficiently answer that argument of the She
+Auntys, that women don&rsquo;t want to vote, by a parade two hours in length,
+of twenty thousand. They answer the argument that the ballot would render women
+careless in dress and reckless, by organizin&rsquo; and carryin&rsquo; on a
+parade so beautiful, so harmonious in color and design that it drew out
+enthusiastic praise from even the enemies of Suffrage. They quietly and without
+argument answered the old story that women was onbusiness-like and never on
+time, by startin&rsquo; the Parade the very minute it was announced, which you
+can&rsquo;t always say of men&rsquo;s parades.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+It wuz a burnin&rsquo; hot day, and many who&rsquo;d always argued that women
+hadn&rsquo;t strength enough to lift a paper ballot, had prophesied that woman
+wuz too delicately organized, too &ldquo;fraguile,&rdquo; as Betsy Bobbet would
+say, to endure the strain of the long march in the torrid atmosphere.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But I told Josiah that women had walked daily over the burning plow shares of
+duty and domestic tribulation, till their feet had got calloused, and could
+stand more&rsquo;n you&rsquo;d think for.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And he said he didn&rsquo;t know as females had any more burnin&rsquo; plow
+shares to tread on than men had.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I sez, &ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t say they had, Josiah. I never wanted women to
+get more praise or justice than men. I simply want &rsquo;em to get as
+much&mdash;just an even amount; for,&rdquo; sez I, solemnly, &ldquo;&lsquo;male
+and female created He them.&rsquo;&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Josiah is a deacon, and when I quote Scripture, he has to listen respectful,
+and I went on: &ldquo;I guess it wuz a surprise even to the marchers that of
+all the ambulances that kept alongside the Parade to pick up faint and
+swoonin&rsquo; females, the only one occupied wuz by a man.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Josiah denied it, but I sez, &ldquo;I see his boots stickin&rsquo; out of the
+ambulance myself.&rdquo; Josiah couldn&rsquo;t dispute that, for he knows I am
+truthful. But he sez, sunthin&rsquo; in the sperit of two little children I
+hearn disputin&rsquo;. Sez one: &ldquo;It wuzn&rsquo;t so; you&rsquo;ve told a
+lie.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; sez the other, &ldquo;You broke a piece of china and laid
+it to me.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Sez Josiah, &ldquo;You may have seen a pair of men&rsquo;s boots
+a-stickin&rsquo; out of the ambulance, but I&rsquo;ll bet they didn&rsquo;t
+have heels on &rsquo;em a inch broad, and five or six inches high.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No, Josiah,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;you&rsquo;re right. Men think too much
+of their comfort and health to hist themselves up on such little high
+tottlin&rsquo; things, and you didn&rsquo;t see many on &rsquo;em in the
+Parade.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But he went on drivin&rsquo; the arrow of higher criticism still deeper into my
+onwillin&rsquo; breast. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll bet you didn&rsquo;t see his legs
+tied together at the ankles, or his trouses slit up the sides to show gauze
+stockin&rsquo;s and anklets and diamond buckles. And you didn&rsquo;t see my
+sect who honored the Parade by marchin&rsquo; in it, have a goose quill half a
+yard long, standin&rsquo; up straight in the air from a coal-scuttle hat, or
+out sideways, a hejus sight, and threatenin&rsquo; the eyes of friend and
+foe.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;And you didn&rsquo;t see many on &rsquo;em in the Parade,&rdquo; sez I
+agin. &ldquo;Women, as they march along to Victory, have got to drop some of
+these senseless things. In fact, they are droppin&rsquo; em. You don&rsquo;t
+see waists now the size of a hour glass. It is gettin&rsquo; fashionable to
+breathe now, and women on their way to their gole will drop by the way their
+high heels; it will git fashionable to walk comfortable, and as they&rsquo;ve
+got to take some pretty long steps to reach the ballot in 1916, it stands to
+reason they&rsquo;ve got to have a skirt wide enough at the bottom to step up
+on the gole of Victory. It is a high step, Josiah, but women are goin&rsquo; to
+take it. They&rsquo;ve always tended to cleanin&rsquo; their own house, and
+makin&rsquo; it comfortable and hygenic for its members, big and little. And
+when they turn their minds onto the best way to clean the National house both
+sects have to live in to make it clean and comfortable and safe for the weak
+and helpless as well as for the strong&mdash;it stands to reason they
+won&rsquo;t have time or inclination to stand up on stilts with tied-in ankles,
+quilled out like savages.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Josiah, with a dark, forebodin&rsquo; look on his
+linement, &ldquo;<i>we shall see</i>.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; sez I, with a real radiant look into the future.
+&ldquo;<i>We shall see</i>, Josiah.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But he didn&rsquo;t have no idea of the beautiful prophetic vision I beheld
+with the eyes of my sperit. Good men and good women, each fillin&rsquo; their
+different spears in life, but banded together for the overthrow of evil, the
+uplift of the race.
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div class="chapter">
+
+<h2><a name="chap10"></a>X.<br />
+&ldquo;THE CREATION SEARCHIN&rsquo; SOCIETY&rdquo;</h2>
+
+<p>
+It was only a few days after we got home from New York that Josiah come into
+the house dretful excited. He&rsquo;d had a invitation to attend a
+meetin&rsquo; of the Creation Searchin&rsquo; Society.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Why,&rdquo; sez I, &ldquo;did they invite you? You are not a
+member?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;No,&rdquo; sez he, &ldquo;but they want me to help &rsquo;em be
+indignant. It is a indignation meetin&rsquo;.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Indignant about what?&rdquo; I sez.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Fur be it from me, Samantha, to muddle up your head and hurt your
+feelin&rsquo;s by tellin&rsquo; you what it&rsquo;s fur.&rdquo; And he went out
+quick and shet the door. But I got a splendid dinner and afterwards he told me
+of his own accord.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I am not a member, of course, for the president, Philander Daggett, said it
+would lower the prestige of the society in the eyes of the world to have even
+one female member. This meetin&rsquo; wuz called last week for the purpose of
+bein&rsquo; indignant over the militant doin&rsquo;s of the English
+Suffragettes. Josiah and several others in Jonesville wuz invited to be present
+at this meetin&rsquo; as sort of honorary members, as they wuz competent to be
+jest as indignant as any other male men over the tribulations of their sect.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Josiah said so much about the meetin&rsquo;, and his Honorary Indignation, that
+he got me curious, and wantin&rsquo; to go myself, to see how it wuz carried
+on. But I didn&rsquo;t have no hopes on&rsquo;t till Philander Daggett&rsquo;s
+new young wife come to visit me and I told her how much I wanted to go, and she
+bein&rsquo; real good-natered said she would make Philander let me in.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He objected, of course, but she is pretty and young, and his nater bein&rsquo;
+kinder softened and sweetened by the honey of the honeymoon, she got round him.
+And he said that if we would set up in a corner of the gallery behind the
+melodeon, and keep our veils on, he would let her and me in. But we must keep
+it secret as the grave, for he would lose all the influence he had with the
+other members and be turned out of the Presidential chair if it wuz knowed that
+he had lifted wimmen up to such a hite, and gin &rsquo;em such a opportunity to
+feel as if they wuz equal to men.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, we went early and Josiah left me to Philander&rsquo;s and went on to do
+some errents. He thought I wuz to spend the evenin&rsquo; with her in
+becomin&rsquo; seclusion, a-knittin&rsquo; on his blue and white socks, as a
+woman should. But after visitin&rsquo; a spell, jest after it got duskish, we
+went out the back door and went cross lots, and got there ensconced in the dark
+corner without anybody seein&rsquo; us and before the meetin&rsquo; begun.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Philander opened the meetin&rsquo; by readin&rsquo; the moments of the last
+meetin&rsquo;, which wuz one of sympathy with the police of Washington for
+their noble efforts to break up the Woman&rsquo;s Parade, and after their
+almost Herculaneum labor to teach wimmen her proper place, and all the help
+they got from the hoodlum and slum elements, they had failed in a measure, and
+the wimmen, though stunned, insulted, spit on, struck, broken boneded, maimed,
+and tore to pieces, had succeeded in their disgustin&rsquo; onwomanly
+undertakin&rsquo;.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But it wuz motioned and carried that a vote of thanks be sent &rsquo;em and
+recorded in the moments that the Creation Searchers had no blame but only
+sympathy and admiration for the hard worked Policemen for they had done all
+they could to protect wimmen&rsquo;s delicacy and retirin&rsquo; modesty, and
+put her in her place, and no man in Washington or Jonesville could do more. He
+read these moments, in a real tender sympathizin&rsquo; voice, and I spoze the
+members sympathized with him, or I judged so from their linements as I went
+forward, still as a mouse, and peeked down on &rsquo;em.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+He then stopped a minute and took a drink of water; I spoze his sympathetic
+emotions had het him up, and kinder dried his mouth, some. And then he went on
+to state that this meetin&rsquo; wuz called to show to the world, abroad and
+nigh by, the burnin&rsquo; indignation this body felt, as a society, at the
+turrible sufferin&rsquo;s and insults bein&rsquo; heaped onto their male
+brethren in England by the indecent and disgraceful doin&rsquo;s of the
+militant Suffragettes, and to devise, if possible, some way to help their male
+brethren acrost the sea. &ldquo;For,&rdquo; sez he, &ldquo;pizen will spread.
+How do we know how soon them very wimmen who had to be spit on and struck and
+tore to pieces in Washington to try to make &rsquo;em keep their place, the
+sacred and tender place they have always held enthroned as angels in a
+man&rsquo;s heart&mdash;&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Here he stopped and took out his bandanna handkerchief, and wiped his eyes, and
+kinder choked. But I knew it wuz all a orator&rsquo;s art, and it didn&rsquo;t
+affect me, though I see a number of the members wipe their eyes, for this talk
+appealed to the inheriant chivalry of men, and their desire to protect wimmen,
+we have always hearn so much about.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;How do we know,&rdquo; he continued, &ldquo;how soon they may turn
+aginst their best friends, them who actuated by the loftiest and tenderest
+emotions, and determination to protect the weaker sect at any cost, took their
+valuable time to try to keep wimmen down where they ort to be, <i>angels of the
+home</i>, who knows but they may turn and throw stuns at the Capitol an&rsquo;
+badger an&rsquo; torment our noble lawmakers, a-tryin&rsquo; to make &rsquo;em
+listen to their silly petitions for justice?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+In conclusion, he entreated &rsquo;em to remember that the eye of the world wuz
+on &rsquo;em, expectin&rsquo; &rsquo;em to be loyal to the badgered and woman
+endangered sect abroad, and try to suggest some way to stop them woman&rsquo;s
+disgraceful doin&rsquo;s.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Cyrenus Presly always loves to talk, and he always looks on the dark side of
+things, and he riz up and said &ldquo;he didn&rsquo;t believe nothin&rsquo;
+could be done, for by all he&rsquo;d read about &rsquo;em, the men had tried
+everything possible to keep wimmen down where they ort to be, they had turned
+deaf ears to their complaints, wouldn&rsquo;t hear one word they said, they had
+tried drivin&rsquo; and draggin&rsquo; and insults of all kinds, and
+breakin&rsquo; their bones, and imprisonment, and stuffin&rsquo; &rsquo;em with
+rubber tubes, thrust through their nose down into their throats. And he
+couldn&rsquo;t think of a thing more that could be done by men, and keep the
+position men always had held as wimmen&rsquo;s gardeens and protectors, and he
+said he thought men might jest as well keep still and let &rsquo;em go on and
+bring the world to ruin, for that was what they wuz bound to do, and they
+couldn&rsquo;t be stopped unless they wuz killed off.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Phileman Huffstater is a old bachelder, and hates wimmen. He had been on a
+drunk and looked dretful, tobacco juice runnin&rsquo; down his face, his red
+hair all towsled up, and his clothes stiff with dirt. He wuzn&rsquo;t invited,
+but had come of his own accord. He had to hang onto the seat in front of him as
+he riz up and said: &ldquo;He believed that wuz the best and only way out
+on&rsquo;t, for men to rise up and kill off the weaker sect, for their
+wuzn&rsquo;t never no trouble of any name or nater, but what wimmen wuz to the
+bottom on&rsquo;t, and the world would be better off without &rsquo;em.&rdquo;
+But Philander scorfed at him and reminded him that such hullsale doin&rsquo;s
+would put an end to the world&rsquo;s bein&rsquo; populated at all.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But Phileman said in a hicuppin&rsquo;, maudlin way that &ldquo;the world had
+better stop, if there had got to be such doin&rsquo;s, wimmen risin&rsquo; up
+on every side, and pretendin&rsquo; to be equal with men.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Here his knee jints kinder gin out under him, and he slid down onto the seat
+and went to sleep.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I guess the members wuz kinder shamed of Phileman, for Lime Peedick jumped up
+quick as scat and said, &ldquo;It seemed the Englishmen had tried most
+everything else, and he wondered how it would work if them militant wimmen
+could be ketched and a dose of sunthin&rsquo; bitter and sickenin&rsquo; poured
+down &rsquo;em. Every time they broached that loathsome doctrine of equal
+rights, and tried to make lawmakers listen to their petitions, jest ketch
+&rsquo;em and pour down &rsquo;em a big dose of wormwood or sunthin&rsquo; else
+bitter and sickenin&rsquo;, and he guessed they would git tired
+on&rsquo;t.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But here Josiah jumped up quick and said, &ldquo;he objected,&rdquo; he said,
+&ldquo;that would endanger the right wimmen always had, and ort to have of
+cookin&rsquo; good vittles for men and doin&rsquo; their housework, and
+bearin&rsquo; and bringin&rsquo; up their children, and makin&rsquo; and
+mendin&rsquo; and waitin&rsquo; on &rsquo;em. He said nothin&rsquo; short of a
+Gatlin gun could keep Samantha from speakin&rsquo; her mind about such things,
+and he wuzn&rsquo;t willin&rsquo; to have her made sick to the stomach, and
+incapacitated from cookin&rsquo; by any such proceedin&rsquo;s.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+The members argued quite awhile on this pint, but finally come round to
+Josiah&rsquo;s idees, and the meetin&rsquo; for a few minutes seemed to come to
+a standstill, till old Cornelius Snyder got up slowly and feebly. He has
+spazzums and can&rsquo;t hardly wobble. His wife has to support him, wash and
+dress him, and take care on him like a baby. But he has the use of his tongue,
+and he got some man to bring him there, and he leaned heavy on his cane, and
+kinder stiddied himself on it and offered this suggestion:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;How would it do to tie females up when they got to thinkin&rsquo; they
+wuz equal to men, halter &rsquo;em, rope &rsquo;em, and let &rsquo;em see if
+they wuz?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But this idee wuz objected to for the same reason Josiah had advanced, as
+Philander well said, &ldquo;wimmen had got to go foot loose in order to do the
+housework and cookin&rsquo;.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Uncle Sime Bentley, who wuz awful indignant, said, &ldquo;I motion that men
+shall take away all the rights that wimmen have now, turn &rsquo;em out of the
+meetin&rsquo; house, and grange.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But before he&rsquo;d hardly got the words out of his mouth, seven of the
+members riz up and as many as five spoke out to once with different
+exclamations:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;That won&rsquo;t do! we can&rsquo;t do that! Who&rsquo;ll do all the
+work! Who&rsquo;ll git up grange banquets and rummage sales, and paper and
+paint and put down carpets in the meetin&rsquo; house, and git up socials and
+entertainments to help pay the minister&rsquo;s salary, and carry on the Sunday
+School? and tend to its picnics and suppers, and take care of the children? We
+can&rsquo;t do this, much as we&rsquo;d love to.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+One horsey, sporty member, also under the influence of liquor, riz up, and made
+a feeble motion, &ldquo;Spozin&rsquo; we give wimmen liberty enough to work,
+leave &rsquo;em hand and foot loose, and sort o&rsquo; muzzle &rsquo;em so they
+can&rsquo;t talk.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+This seemed to be very favorably received, &rsquo;specially by the married
+members, and the secretary wuz jest about to record it in the moments as a
+scheme worth tryin&rsquo;, when old Doctor Nugent got up, and sez in a firm,
+decided way:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Wimmen cannot be kept from talking without endangerin&rsquo; her life;
+as a medical expert I object to this motion.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;How would you put the objection?&rdquo; sez the secretary.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;On the ground of cruelty to animals,&rdquo; sez the doctor.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+A fat Englishman who had took the widder Shelmadine&rsquo;s farm on shares,
+says, &ldquo;I &rsquo;old with Brother Josiah Hallen&rsquo;s hargument. As the
+father of nine young children and thirty cows to milk with my wife&rsquo;s
+&rsquo;elp, I &rsquo;old she musn&rsquo;t be kep&rsquo; from work, but
+h&rsquo;I propose if we can&rsquo;t do anything else that a card of sympathy be
+sent to hold Hengland from the Creation Searchin&rsquo; Society of America,
+tellin&rsquo; &rsquo;em &rsquo;ow our &rsquo;earts bleeds for the men&rsquo;s
+sufferin&rsquo; and &rsquo;ardships in &rsquo;avin&rsquo; to leave their
+hoccupations to beat and &rsquo;aul round and drive females to jails, and feed
+&rsquo;em with rubber hose through their noses to keep &rsquo;em from
+starvin&rsquo; to death for what they call their principles.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+This motion wuz carried unanimously.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+But here an old man, who had jest dropped in and who wuz kinder deef and
+slow-witted, asked, &ldquo;What it is about anyway? what do the wimmen ask for
+when they are pounded and jailed and starved?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Hank Yerden, whose wife is a Suffragist, and who is mistrusted to have a
+leanin&rsquo; that way himself, answered him, &ldquo;Oh, they wanted the
+lawmakers to read their petitions asking for the rights of ordinary citizens.
+They said as long as their property wuz taxed they had the right of
+representation. And as long as the law punished wimmen equally with men, they
+had a right to help make that law, and as long as men claimed wimmen&rsquo;s
+place wuz home, they wanted the right to guard that home. And as long as they
+brought children into the world they wanted the right to protect &rsquo;em. And
+when the lawmakers wouldn&rsquo;t hear a word they said, and beat &rsquo;em and
+drove &rsquo;em round and jailed &rsquo;em, they got mad as hens, and are
+actin&rsquo; like furiation and wild cats. But claim that civil rights wuz
+never give to any class without warfare.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Heavens! what doin&rsquo;s!&rdquo; sez old Zephaniah Beezum, &ldquo;what
+is the world comin&rsquo; to!&rdquo; &ldquo;Angle worms will be risin&rsquo; up
+next and demandin&rsquo; to not be trod on.&rdquo; Sez he, &ldquo;I have
+studied the subject on every side, and I claim the best way to deal with them
+militant females is to banish &rsquo;em to some barren wilderness, some foreign
+desert where they can meditate on their crimes, and not bother men.&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+This idee wuz received favorably by most of the members, but others differed
+and showed the weak p&rsquo;ints in it, and it wuz gin up.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+Well, at ten P.M., the Creation Searchers gin up after arguin&rsquo; pro and
+con, con and pro, that they could not see any way out of the matter, they could
+not tell what to do with the wimmen without danger and trouble to the male
+sect.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+They looked dretful dejected and onhappy as they come to this conclusion, my
+pardner looked as if he wuz most ready to bust out cryin&rsquo;. And as I
+looked on his beloved linement I forgot everything else and onbeknown to me I
+leaned over the railin&rsquo; and sez:
+</p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;Here is sunthin&rsquo; that no one has seemed to think on at home or
+abroad. How would it work to stop the trouble by givin&rsquo; the wimmen the
+rights they ask for, the rights of any other citizen?&rdquo;
+</p>
+
+<p>
+I don&rsquo;t spoze there will ever be such another commotion and upheaval in
+Jonesville till Michael blows his last trump as follered my speech.
+Knowin&rsquo; wimmen wuz kep&rsquo; from the meetin&rsquo;, some on &rsquo;em
+thought it wuz a voice from another spear. Them wuz the skairt and horrow
+struck ones, and them that thought it wuz a earthly woman&rsquo;s voice wuz so
+mad that they wuz by the side of themselves and carried on fearful. But when
+they searched the gallery for wimmen or ghosts, nothin&rsquo; wuz found, for
+Philander&rsquo;s wife and I had scooted acrost lots and wuz to home
+a-knittin&rsquo; before the men got there.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I d&rsquo;no as anybody but Philander to this day knows what, or who it
+wuz.
+</p>
+
+<p>
+And I d&rsquo;no as my idee will be follered, but I believe it is the best way
+out on&rsquo;t for men and wimmen both, and would stop the mad doin&rsquo;s of
+the English Suffragettes, which I don&rsquo;t approve of, no indeed! much as I
+sympathize with the justice of their cause.
+</p>
+
+</div><!--end chapter-->
+
+<div style='display:block;margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA ON THE WOMAN QUESTION ***</div>
+<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0;'>This file should be named 7833-h.htm or 7833-h.zip</div>
+<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0;'>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in https://www.gutenberg.org/7/8/3/7833/</div>
+<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
+Updated editions will replace the previous one&#8212;the old editions will
+be renamed.
+</div>
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