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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/77761-0.txt b/77761-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b2c3093 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11468 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77761 *** + +Transcriber's note: Unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed. + + + +[Illustration: "DO YOU REMEMBER IT—'PEACE, PERFECT PEACE'?"] + + + + _A Bit of_ + + _Rough Road_ + + ============================================================= + + By + + _Amy Le Feuvre_ + + _Author of_ + _"Probable Sons," "The Mender," "Heather's Mistress," etc._ + + + ============================================================= + + + _"Oh! dost thou complain that Heaven's way is rugged?. . ._ + _Be the oftener walking in it, and that will make it smooth."_ + + GURNALL. + + + _Illustrated by Percy Tarrant_ + + + ============================================================= + + _London_ + _The Religious Tract Society_ + _4, Bouverie Street; & 65, St. Paul's Churchyard_ + + + + _BY THE SAME AUTHOR_ + + The Mender Jill's Red Bag + On the Edge of a Moor Odd Made Even + Dwell Deep Legend Led + A Puzzling Pair A Little Maid + Heather's Mistress The Carved Cupboard + Miss Lavender's Boy, and Other Sketches Odd + + THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY, 4 BOUVERIE STREET; + & 65 ST. PAUL'S CHURCHYARD, LONDON, E.C. + + + + CONTENTS + +CHAPTER + + I. STRANGE THOUGHTS + + II. A QUIET HOUSE + + III. A NEW FRIEND + + IV. TAKEN BY SURPRISE + + V. CONFLICTING DUTIES + + VI. A BUSY DAY + + VII. SETTLING DOWN + + VIII. HOPE'S CHOICE + + IX. A HOLIDAY + + X. HESTER'S BEES + + XI. TROUBLE + + XII. THE NEW HOME + + XIII. KITTY + + XIV. THE LITTLE FLAGGED PATH + + XV. A SPEEDY PARTING + + XVI. A LONG NIGHT + + XVII. HOMELESS + + XVIII. AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE + + XIX. BOY AND GIRL + + XX. A VISIT TO LONDON + + XXI. A SUCCESSFUL SEARCH + + XXII. ALONE + + XXIII. WAITING + + XXIV. WEDDING BELLS + + XXV. IN THE BORDERLAND + + XXVI. A YORKSHIRE HOME + + XXVII. VISITORS + + XXVIII. A CONFESSION + + + + ILLUSTRATIONS + + + "DO YOU REMEMBER IT—'PEACE, PERFECT PEACE'?" _Frontispiece_ + + HOPE SLIPPED AWAY TO HEAR THE FAMOUS PREACHER + + "MR. ST. CLAIR KEEPS ASKIN' IF YOU'VE COME" + + "HOPE, YOU ARE CHANGED," JIM SAID, SUDDENLY + + "YOU CAN DO NOTHING FOR HIM, BUT JUST WATCH HIM" + + "SIT STILL AND SEE A MAN MAKE TEA" + + "WHAT IS IT?" HE INQUIRED. "CAN I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?" + + "I THINK YOUR NAME OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN PEACE," SAID KITTY + + THE WATER WAS SLOWLY BUT SURELY MOUNTING THE STAIRS + + SHE GAVE HIM MISS RILL'S ADDRESS + + "WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOURSELF? YOU'RE A WRAITH!" + + HER SURROUNDINGS SEEMED TO MELT AWAY, SHE WAS WAFTED INTO A LITTLE + PARADISE + + HOPE PUT HER FACE IN HER HANDS AND SOBBED ALOUD + + HOPE RAN DOWN TO MEET THEM + + "YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE FOR THE FUTURE" + + "OH, LANCELOT, HOW GLAD I AM TO BE HOME AGAIN!" + + + + _Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin?_ + _The blood of Jesus whispers peace within._ + + _Peace, perfect peace, by thronging duties press'd?_ + _To do the will of Jesus, this is rest._ + + _Peace, perfect peace, with sorrows surging round?_ + _On Jesus' bosom nought but calm is found._ + + _Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away?_ + _In Jesus' keeping we are safe and they._ + + _Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown?_ + _Jesus we know, and He is on the throne._ + + _Peace, perfect peace, death shadowing us and ours?_ + _Jesus has vanquish'd death and all its powers._ + + _It is enough: earth's struggles soon shall cease,_ + _And Jesus call us to Heaven's perfect peace._ + + E. H. BICKERSTETH. + + +_(From the Hymnal Companion. By permission of Messrs. Longmans,_ + _Green & Co.)_ + + + + A Bit of Rough Road + + [Illustration] + +Chapter I + +STRANGE THOUGHTS + +"HOPE, what are you doing?" + +"Something that she ought not to do. She is thinking." + +"Don't be cynical, Jim. Do you want me, Aunt Gertrude?" + +The young girl who spoke rose from her seat by the window and came +towards a stout old lady, who was carrying on an animated conversation +with two or three of her Sunday visitors. + +They were in a London drawing-room, and though outside the sun shone, +and the flowers in the park close by were bright with colour; it was +early enough in the spring to need a fire. + +Mrs. Daubeney's room looked the picture of cosy warmth and comfort. +Tea was being handed round; and as Hope St. Clair came into the little +circle round the fire, there were two who regarded her very critically. +Her aunt saw a tall slight girl, exquisitely gowned, whose walk and +voice and movement all proclaimed her to be one of Society's successes. +Mrs. Daubeney noted nothing of which to complain, as her eyes travelled +from the Paris gown to the delicate oval face, the wealth of soft dark +hair, the sensitively cut features, and the bright, vivacious grey +eyes that were alive with a thousand lights and shadows, and seemed to +reflect to the world in general a charming personality from within. + +But Jim Horrocks's eyes saw further. He noted that the girl's lips +were quivering, that her eyes were troubled, and that, in spite of her +apparently gay demeanour, that seat by the window had been taken with +a purpose. For about twenty minutes she had withdrawn herself from her +fellow-creatures, and those twenty minutes had been full of troubled +thought. He drew a chair forward for her, and offering her a cup of +tea, he said persuasively: + +"Just tell me how far away you got from us, and if you are very sorry +to be back again." + +Hope looked at him rather gravely. + +"The Murrays took me to St. Ambrose's this morning." + +"Oh, I wish I had known! I would have come too. That fellow is the last +sensation. They say he lashes us with a most able and cutting tongue. +Lady May Fosberry has given up all gaiety for five whole days and taken +to the slums. What did he tell you? It's rotten bad form, I consider, +to abuse the class by whom he lives." + +"You must hear him for yourself." + +Hope's eyes were mirthful now. She added: + +"I wonder where and when you heard your last sermon, Jim." + +"In India," he replied promptly, "six years ago. Sermons are an +unnecessary appendage to any service, I consider. Your aunt talks of +leaving town; surely she is not going to do so yet?" + +"Her doctor says she must. We are thinking of trying what a quiet life +will do." + +Jim Horrocks laughed. + +"When I see a fish flourishing on dry ground, then I shall see Mrs. +Daubeney's health improve in a quiet atmosphere! No wonder such a +prospect, combined with the Canon's discourse, has depressed you." + +"I am never depressed; I don't know the meaning of the word." + +Hope spoke emphatically. Jim smiled at her provokingly. He and she were +the best of friends. Once, he had been in love with her. That was when +she was just launching into her first season, and having known him from +the time she was a little maiden in short frocks, had constituted him +as her cavalier and comrade. But Mrs. Daubeney nipped it in the bud. +She reminded Jim that he could not make his income suffice for his own +needs, being an impecunious younger son and only having a secretaryship +in some Government billet to supplement his allowance; and she told him +that until she died, Hope would only receive from her £400 a year. + +"I am likely to live some years yet," she informed him. "Hope has no +idea of economy; she spends more than £400 on her clothes as it is. How +do you imagine you could set up house together? No, she must do better +than take you, Jim, for her own sake and for yours." + +The young people had accepted the wisdom of their elder. Neither were +very disturbed at this ultimatum, for Hope had boundless anticipations +of the future, and Jim was fast becoming resigned to the fact that the +best things in life were not to be his. + +He remained her friend; he was always at hand if she wanted his help; +and he watched her progress through the daily routine of her full and +busy life with amusement, and sometimes with concern. + +Mrs. Daubeney, as she was wont to declare, "knew everybody worth +knowing." Her energy never flagged, her worldly wisdom never failed. +And yet, though Hope was popular with all her friends, she was +still unmarried, and there seemed no prospects of her bestowing her +affections upon any of those who desired her favour. For four years she +and her aunt had been swept along in the social tide. No race-meeting, +no regatta, no Society function was without their presence. They +had travelled, they had yachted, they had wintered on the Riviera, +at Cairo, and in Spain, and when they were not exercising their +hospitality in their Park Lane house, they were visiting their friends' +country houses. Hope's supreme freshness and energy, her capacity for +all games, from bridge to hockey and golf, her gay spirits, and, above +all, her warm-hearted sympathy with the world in general, made her a +universal favourite. + +Lately Mrs. Daubeney had been out of health. She would not own it for +a long time; but she was forced to take a physician's advice, and the +result was that a move from London was contemplated. + +"What quiet place will hold you?" Jim asked, and Hope, with a little +laugh, said: + +"Brighton or Homburg, I expect." + +Then fresh visitors were announced, and Hope turned to them. It was +late before the last ones took their departure. For a few minutes aunt +and niece were alone. Hope drew up an easy chair to the fire and let +herself drop into it with a little sigh of satisfaction. + +"Now we can be silent," she said, with a mixture of mirth and +wistfulness in her tone. + +"No," said Mrs. Daubeney; "I have been waiting to speak to you all day. +You were so long at church this morning that you did not return before +the Seatons arrived to lunch, and I have had no opportunity since. I +heard from your father by the late post last night." + +"From my father?" Hope repeated the words in wonder. "Why, Aunt +Gertrude, we have not heard from him since I first went to school!" + +"No, he washed his hands of you—to use a vulgar phrase—from the time I +adopted you." + +"I began to think I had no father," Hope continued. "He is a myth to +me. Is he still in Canada?" + +"Yes. Your stepmother is dead. It is a sad story; he was driving her +with some young horses, and they bolted, and there was a terrible +upset. She was killed on the spot, and one of the children with her, +and your father very much injured. That was some time ago, but your +father says though he is nearly right again, he is not able to farm +much, and he talks of coming home. He asks if you are married." + +"Poor father!" Hope's eyes grew meditative. "I wish I knew him, aunt. I +have only a recollection of a jolly handsome man tossing me up in the +air and calling me puny! How dreadfully he must feel the loss of his +wife! She was such a capable person." + +"His letter is very like him," said Mrs. Daubeney. "He wonders whether +you will be of any use to him if he returns to England and finds you +still unmarried, or whether you would like to go out to him. George's +one idea is how to use people. He has never taken the slightest notice +of you till now, when he fancies you may help him." + +"Usefulness is an unknown term to me." + +Something in the girl's tone made her aunt look sharply at her. Hope +returned the look with one of her low laughs. + +"You have not brought me up to be useful, have you?" she said. + +"No, thank goodness! There has been no necessity for that." + +"I am afraid I could not help him," said Hope slowly and meditatively. +Her thoughts went back to the first years of her childhood spent in a +dreary suburban house; her young stepmother, with a crowd of babies, +managing her household wisely and well, but with little time or +sympathy for her small stepdaughter, who was then very delicate. + +Young Mrs. St. Clair was more relieved than otherwise when, on the eve +of their migration to Canada, her husband's sister came forward and +offered a home to Hope. The child left her home with little regret, and +had long ago ceased to correspond with her relations. Her father had +never seen much of her, and he did not encourage correspondence. + +Now as she thought of the suggestion her father had made, she dimly +began to wonder whether he had not some claim upon her. After all, he +was her father, and she was his eldest daughter. + +Mrs. Daubeney saw the growing thought in her eyes. She spoke at once. + +"Of course, I am going to write to your father immediately, and +show him the ridiculousness of such a proposition. He must get some +housekeeper out there. I can read between the lines. The farm is not +paying, and he wants to throw off all his responsibilities like an old +glove, and be off to some other sphere. We need not think any more +about it. I did not adopt you or educate you, to lose you just when I +want your society most. Now will you give me your attention to another +matter? I have been thinking of a small house of mine at Kayminster. +It has been let furnished to a tenant for eight years. She has just +left it to join her husband in India. I feel very much inclined to go +down, and take possession of it for a few weeks. Of course we should +vegetate; but I know some nice people there, and it is rather a pretty +neighbourhood. You know how stagnant a cathedral town is, so you must +not expect any gaiety, and if we find it too dull, we can come back to +town. I should not dream of staying there beyond a week or two. What do +you think?" + +"I am quite willing," said Hope brightly. "Is the house in order for us +to take possession at once?" + +"I wondered if you would take Nelson down and inspect it for me. I +cannot quite trust her—she takes such prejudices." + +Nelson had been maid to Mrs. Daubeney for fifteen years, and her rule +over her mistress was a masterful one. Hope was the only one who could +manage her. + +"Of course I will. Let me go to-morrow, and then I can cut the Blakes' +dinner-party. I always hoped something would turn up to prevent my +appearance at it." + +"Certainly not. Will you ever lose your impulsiveness? Next week will +be quite time enough." + +There was a pause. Hope leant back in her chair and gazed into the +glowing coals. Mrs. Daubeney was mentally composing her letter to her +brother. She started when Hope spoke again. + +"Aunt Gertrude, you ought to hear Canon FitzRoy. He is the most +eloquent preacher I have ever heard." + +"I am not fond of eloquence. It takes an unfair advantage of you." + +"Oh, but he told us some home-truths!" + +"I can imagine he did!" + +Hope was not to be repressed by her aunt's sarcastic tone. + +"His indictments were very severe; but he got them out of the Bible, +and they have been ringing in my head ever since. We are 'lovers of +our own selves,' 'lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God, having +a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.' Oh, I know you +will say it is just cant; but I wish you had heard him take up every +point and thresh it out to the bitter end. It has opened a new field of +thought to me, and not a pleasant one. Captain Murray was dumbfounded. +He told me he was going straight home to think it out, and his wife was +in tears." + +Mrs. Daubeney went to her davenport. + +"I am afraid I am not interested, my dear. Do not speak to me now. I +must write a line to your father." + +So Hope sat with puckered brows, reviewing her life for the first +time with a sense of shame. The stinging words of the preacher had +burnt into her very soul. She could not get rid of them, and she at +present was not conscious of any desire to do so. She was like a child +awakened from a dream, and though the first touch hurt, astonishment at +the possibility of a different existence kept her from resenting the +awakening. + +Mrs. Daubeney knew her niece too well to argue with her. She wrote +her letter, and dressing for dinner followed. Hope had no more time +for thinking till she went to bed, and as she was playing bridge till +twelve o'clock, she was too tired to sit up after it. + +As she laid her head upon her pillow, she murmured to herself: + +"And Sunday bridge-playing he condemned. I wonder if the Murrays will +give it up." + +The following week was a very full one. Hope did not have much time for +further thought; but when Sunday came round again, she slipped away to +hear the famous preacher, and this time Jim accompanied her. + +"Oh, Jim," she said, as they walked back together, "is life really what +Canon FitzRoy makes it, or is it what we make it?" + +"What do we make it?" asked Jim quizzically. + +Hope knitted her pretty brows. + +"Just a level bit of time to be got through as brightly and pleasantly +as we can. Isn't this your experience?" + +"No," said Jim sturdily. "I've had too many hard knocks to look at it +with your eyes. You have never seen below the surface, and I hope you +never will." + +"Don't talk to me as if I am a doll or a puppet. How do you see life?" + +Jim would not answer. + +"Of course," Hope continued, "I know that the Canon does not quite +understand us. There is a great deal of real kindness and goodness of +heart amongst those he condemns. Very religious people are not half so +pleasant in their manners, nor so sympathetic, as a rule, as those they +judge. But I do acknowledge that 'God is not in all our thoughts.' And +I, personally, love myself, and love pleasure much more than I do Him. +Of course I do. I am not an infidel! But my belief in God doesn't touch +my life; the Canon is quite right there." + +"We'll forget the sermon," the young man said lightly. "It isn't worth +becoming uncomfortable over it. You women take things so seriously. I +enjoyed hearing him. His hits were given straight from the shoulder; +but I have a fancy that I could stand up one day and give it to him +back. I could tell the clergy a few home-truths about themselves. +Couldn't you?" + +"No; don't be irreverent, Jim." + +Jim laughed, but did not pursue the subject, and Hope kept her thoughts +to herself. + + +On the following Tuesday she and Nelson went down to Kayminster. They +stayed at the hotel there, and were away for a couple of days; then +returned to report themselves. + +"I think it will be a charming retreat, aunt," said Hope. "It is in +very good repair. Of course you know it; but I love the quaintness +of the town; and the old house opening upon the street one side, and +stretching out at the back into that beautiful old garden, took my +fancy immensely. I don't know what you will do with yourself—that is +the only objection I offer. We can drive, I suppose, and attend the +cathedral services, and perhaps receive a few visitors. Will that +satisfy you?" + +Mrs. Daubeney looked rather doleful. + +[Illustration: HOPE SLIPPED AWAY TO HEAR THE FAMOUS PREACHER.] + +"We must have some nice week-end parties," she said. "It will not be +for long. I dare say I shall be better for the quiet." + +And so it was arranged, and a few days afterwards they left town, and +took up their abode in Wistaria Lodge. + + + +Chapter II + +A QUIET HOUSE + +MRS. DAUBENEY'S house was at the end of the street leading to the +cathedral. The oak door with the massive brass knocker, the mullioned +windows, and gigantic wistaria which covered the front of the house, +all betokened age. To Hope's eyes the interior was even more charming. +A low broad hall ran through the house and ended in glass doors leading +into the delightful garden, which consisted of a green lawn, flanked +on each side by ancient cedar-trees, a broad, old-fashioned terrace +of flowers, and a second walled garden beyond, containing fruit and +flowers. + +To the right of the hall lay the drawing-room, and it was as great a +contrast to the town rooms to which Mrs. Daubeney was accustomed as +could be imagined. Deep recesses, quaint spindle-legged chairs, china +and old-fashioned chintz, a harpsichord, an old spinet, and a straight +high-back sofa, with bolster cushions—these delighted Hope's soul, +but brought dismay to her aunt's. The windows at the back of the room +looked out upon the garden, and one opened into a small conservatory. +On the other side of the hall was the dining-room and morning-room, +both good-sized rooms, and simply though suitably furnished. The stairs +were low and broad, and of solid oak, as were also the banisters. +Upstairs there was a delightful broad landing, and five or six +bedrooms. One of these, which Hope took for her own, had a charming +view of some buttercup meadows lying by the side of the river, and on +the opposite side, amongst some stately elms, was the cathedral. + +And one sunny afternoon, about a week after their arrival, Hope sat on +her window-seat listening to the afternoon chimes and indulging for +the first time in a good "think." Mrs. Daubeney was lying down in her +room. The house was very still. As Hope sat there, the only sound that +broke the silence inside was the ticking of a grandfather clock in the +hall. Outside, the rooks building their nests in the old elms kept up +a continuous cawing. The murmur of the swift-flowing river and the +chirping of the birds had more of a soothing effect than a distracting +one. Hope opened her window, and leaning her elbows on the broad sill, +gazed over the buttercup meadows and river to the range of far-distant +blue hills. + +"How delicious this sense of rest is! I wonder if our London life is a +good one. I am getting a little tired of the rush; but there is little +else to do, and, I must say, I love my fellow-creatures. If Canon +FitzRoy is right, we are very wrong. 'Lovers of pleasure more than +lovers of God.' Of course we are; but I did not realise I was destined +to be a lover of God. It is a terrible thought that God requires loving +service from every creature He has made. He does not get it, and we +really are a godless lot. The Canon was specially severe on Society's +Sundays. I thought if one went to early service, that was sufficient. +Sunday is a holiday; he makes it a holy day. Oh, in the bottom of my +heart I feel I am all wrong, and the world is all wrong! Why has no one +told me before?" + +The cathedral bell began to toll for evensong. It interrupted her +meditation, and then a sudden impulse made her seize hold of her hat +and, slipping into her jacket, she went softly downstairs. In the hall +she met Nelson. + +"Tell Aunt Gertrude not to wait tea. I am going to the cathedral." + +She stepped outside into the old-fashioned street. There was little +traffic; a few people like herself were quietly making their way to the +cathedral. + +As she entered it, the hush and calm struck her very forcibly. She +was shown into one of the stalls. The remembrance of that spring +evening never left her. The sun stealing in through the stained-glass +windows and colouring every spot upon which it rested, the deep soft +vibrating sound of the organ, the pure voices of the choir-boys, and +the reverence and quiet of the evening service, all combined to leave a +lasting impression upon her mind. She looked at the various occupants +of the stalls with some interest, and smiled as she recognised the +different stamp, in dress and appearance, from most of her town +acquaintances. One figure strangely attracted her. It was that of an +elderly woman—a tall stately figure, with a face of wonderful strength +and sweetness. By her side was a young man, who, by his likeness to +her, was evidently her son. + +The mother looked as if she were accustomed to the cathedral, as if +she were a part and parcel of it herself. She was absorbed in the +service, and Hope knew that it was no empty form to her. The son +appeared interested, but his attention was more upon his mother than +the service. He moved a footstool for her, handed her the anthem-book, +and found the place in it for her. Once he bent down and asked her +something, and smiled as he received her low-toned reply. He looked +bronzed and weather-worn. Hope fancied that he had not been long home +from abroad. She felt, as she sat opposite them, that she would like to +know them, and wondered who they were. Then her mind turned back upon +herself, and faintly and dimly there rose up from the depths of her +heart a longing to see and understand the beauty of true religion. + +The sense of shortcoming and of shame that had been slowly gathering +intensity, now surged upwards so overwhelmingly that she felt the hot +tears spring to her eyes. A wave of black depression seemed to take +possession of her. + +"'A lover of self, a lover of pleasure, having the form of godliness, +but denying the power thereof.' That is me, and I am condemned, utterly +condemned by my life! I am really a hypocrite. I have no right to be +here. I am an outcast with all the rest of my world. We shall never +be anything but rank outsiders. A holy God must abhor us. We deny His +power. We think we can rule and fashion our lives. We are utterly +indifferent to His wishes, and independent of Him. Oh, I am absolutely +miserable!" + +In the midst of these disquieting thoughts, the boys' sweet voices +suddenly sounded forth, echoing down the empty nave and returning with +vibrating sweetness and power: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin? + The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.'" + +Hope did not hear the remainder of the hymn. The tears she had been +restraining with such difficulty now fell so fast that she sat back +in her corner, and hoped that the gathering dusk would shield her +from all observation. She remained in her seat after the rest of the +congregation, and was the last to leave the cathedral. + +When she reached home, she was composed and cheerful again, though the +first verse of the hymn still rang through her heart and brain. + +She found her aunt receiving visitors. + +"Hope, come here. Lady Chesney says she has met you once or twice in +town." + +Lady Chesney greeted her kindly, and introduced her two daughters, one +of whom was about Hope's age, the other considerably older. + +"I have not met you before, I think," Hope said, turning to the eldest +Miss Chesney. + +"No, I have not been to town for several years, I dislike it so, and my +sister has been abroad studying music." + +"Don't you find Kayminster very quiet?" + +"We do not live in Kayminster. We are five miles out, at Landbeck +Abbey. I prefer country to town." + +"Oh, Hester is a regular hermit! But we shall not give you a chance +of keeping quiet, Miss St. Clair. We have a bazaar next week for +our church organ, and we shall enlist you at once as one of our +helpers. What are you good at? Theatricals, music, games? We are +having a gymkhana; you must take part in that. We are going to have a +house-party for the occasion, and a friend of yours, Lady May Fosberry, +is coming to stay with us." + +Minnie Chesney and Hope were soon talking away as if they had known +each other all their lives. + +"You won't find many people to know in Kayminster," Minnie said. "The +Dean is nice, but his wife's a regular prude! The Moberly girls are +passable, their father is one of the canons, and then there are Mrs. +Dane and her sons. Of course there are a good many old maids and quiet +humdrum folk, who treat Kayminster as if it alone was the centre of the +universe, but you won't have much to do with them, I expect. Are you a +good bridge player? We always have bridge at home on Sunday afternoons. +And there's golf about two miles off, and we shall soon be beginning +tennis and archery. You will find enough to employ your time, I expect." + +"I have never found it hang on my hands yet," said Hope, as soon as she +could get in a word. "I am surprised May Fosberry is coming down to +you. I thought she was working hard in the slums?" + +"She has had a breakdown, I believe. Between ourselves, I expect she is +pretty sick of it, and wants a reasonable excuse for getting away from +it. I think we shall cure her of that little pastime." + +Hope knew that May was a girl of impulses, who was always trying some +new experience, so she felt inclined to agree with Minnie Chesney. She +was startled to hear Hester say, in rather a deep gruff voice: + +"Give her justice, Minnie! Slum work isn't all play, and I know +something of it." + +"Do you?" questioned Hope eagerly. "Did you find it interesting or +depressing? It seems to me people either love it or hate it. I don't +think I could stand a day of it. Dirt and poverty are so offensive when +combined." + +Hester's grey eyes quietly looked Hope up and down, then she smiled +rather cynically. + +"No," she said, "I don't think you would stand it." + +"By which you mean to infer that I am a very poor creature?" Hope's +eyes were mirthful as she spoke. She added: + +"May I ask why you gave it up?" + +Minnie had turned to talk to Mrs. Daubeney. Hester's clear-cut features +and rather unimpressionable countenance seemed to soften and sadden for +an instant. + +"Because I did not believe in the remedies we were employing, and the +atmosphere of open sin sickened me. In our class we gild and paint it. +I prefer it so; do not you?" + +Hope looked at her gravely. + +Then Hester laughed, and her lips took their usually hard curve. + +"Oh yes. I worked very hard in the slums for six months, and now I am +working just as hard bee-farming; I find the bees pay me better." + +"I suppose they would, if your object is to be rewarded." + +"One generally expects to get something for one's pains, else why make +any efforts? What is your goal in life—leaving the marriage question +alone? You look as if you have some ideas in your head? Do you act up +to your Puritan name?" + +"My head," said Hope, in her pretty mischievous way, "is always too +full to be sorted out and catalogued. My chief idea is to enjoy the +thing I am doing tremendously till it is finished, and then the next +one. Just now I am going to enjoy this old house, and the quaint town, +and the cathedral atmosphere. I have never been in anything like it +before. If I cut your bazaar and send no excuses, you will know it +is because I am steeping my soul in Gothic architecture, and having +visionary dreams in the dim silence of the cathedral." + +Conversation became general, but Hope was attracted by Hester. + +"She is an original woman, aunt," she confided to Mrs. Daubeney +afterwards. "The youngest sister is a very ordinary type, but Hester +has thought and, I think, suffered." + +"And what type are you?" asked Mrs. Daubeney good-naturedly. "For +goodness' sake, Hope, don't get into the habit of criticising and +generalising people! It is such bad form. Lady Chesney is one of my +oldest friends. They have been abroad so much that we have seen little +of each other the last few years. The only son is a sad scapegrace. +I don't believe he will ever inherit the Abbey, and it has been in +the Chesney family for centuries. I fancy his father finds it very +difficult to keep up the place as it is. There will be next to nothing +for those girls at his death. Hester used to be quite a beauty, but she +has quite gone off. I dare say it is as well that she is happy leading +a quiet country life. Minnie is sure to marry, and I can see that her +mother hopes great things from her." + +After a pause, she looked at her niece rather keenly. "George Adair is +coming down to the Chesneys." + +"Is he?" Hope's tone was supremely indifferent. "He will be a good +match for Minnie, aunt." + +"He asked me before we left town whether we should be near the +Chesneys. I let you go your own way, Hope, and am too fond of you to be +sorry that you have been under my wing these four years, but I would +remind you that time is slipping away, and your fresh young years will +not be yours always. I should like to see you settled, and I know +George Adair would make you happy." + +There was a little wistfulness in Mrs. Daubeney's tone. Hope had +disappointed her more than once, but she knew that to try to coerce her +was to court failure at once. + +Hope did not answer. She hummed a little tune as she went about the +room whisking a few chairs into their place, then she disappeared in +the small conservatory, and emerged with a handful of heliotrope. +Holding it up to her aunt, she said playfully: + +"Take a whiff, Aunt Gertrude, it will refresh you. You are looking +tired." + +"I am anxious sometimes—about you." + +"But why? I assure you there is not the slightest cause. You said when +you received my father's letter that you did not adopt me to lose me +when you needed my society most. Don't tell me that you want to get rid +of me." + +"I want to see you married," said Mrs. Daubeney firmly. + +Hope's shoulders shrugged themselves almost imperceptibly. + +"Marriage doesn't seem a success in Society, aunt, except to give you +the wherewithal to clothe yourself and have a good time; and I am +having that with you, thanks to your generosity." + +"George Adair—" + +"Excuse me for interrupting you. George is a wealthy man, I know, but +he is an idle one; he will spend his married life exactly as he does +his single one, in society." + +"Where else would you spend it?" asked Mrs. Daubeney with raised +eyebrows. + +"I think I have a few old-fashioned notions. I should like a home. If +I married George, I know exactly what it would be like. He would rush +me round even faster than I am going at present; and do you know, Aunt +Gertrude, I am getting rather tired." + +"You are a very silly child. Every married woman owns a home. You would +not expect George to retire from all his friends, and spend his life in +one long honeymoon with you." + +"No, I shouldn't," said Hope, laughing merrily. "Poor George! It would +be hard lines to be tied to one woman like that. He is never happy +unless he is following about a dozen round, and his marriage would +never alter him." + +"I hope you are not getting supercilious," said Mrs. Daubeney, +regarding her niece carefully. "There is nothing that tells your age +more than becoming cynical and intolerant of the failings of your +fellow-creatures. Young girls ought to have faith and trust in every +one, and you are not very old yet, my dear." + +"I am sorry, aunt, but don't please quote George Adair to me again. I +hoped we had left him in town." + +Mrs. Daubeney said no more. Hope was her bright sweet self for the rest +of the evening. It was not until she reached her bedroom and was again +alone, that her thoughts flew back to the cathedral service. + +"I suppose," she mused, "it is the contrast to anything that I have +experienced before, that attracts me so. St. Paul's and Westminster +Abbey are finer buildings, and have more beautiful music, but they +never give one the sense of absolute peace and rest that this cathedral +does. How beautiful that hymn was! I felt quite thrilled with it. I +shall go there to-morrow. It is Sunday, and I shall have a legitimate +excuse. Oh dear! I wish George Adair were not coming to these parts!" + +A little sigh escaped her. George Adair had nothing in himself to +recommend him, she considered. He was a heavily built man, inclined to +stoutness, not a sportsman, not a politician, but quite content to sit +in ladies' drawing-rooms and flatter pretty women. He never read; he +took his information entirely from conversation around him; he had the +reputation of being a "ladies' man," but Hope always considered that an +insult to her sex; and he was never happy unless he had a lot of people +round him. + +He owned a castle in Scotland, a villa in Cannes, a yacht, and a motor; +and for the past five months he had been haunting Hope's footsteps. + +Mrs. Daubeney liked him and encouraged him. His unfailing good-humour +and adaptability to people's moods made him a favourite with all old +ladies. Hope had not disliked him until he began to make his attentions +marked; then she took fright, and now evaded him whenever she got a +chance. + +"Oh," she said, as for an instant she opened her window and gazed at +the dim ghostly outlines of the turreted towers of the cathedral, "why +is it I feel so restless and so discontented with life? Is it at the +possibility of passing most of it in company with George Adair? Or is +it that I feel there is something better in store for me, something +even more satisfying than marriage, which seems our only goal?" + +She shut her window hastily and went to bed. Her last conscious +thoughts were of the dim, hushed atmosphere of the cathedral and the +boys' sweet voices singing: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin? + The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.'" + + + +Chapter III + +A NEW FRIEND + +MRS. DAUBENEY very seldom went to church. If Sunday was not full up +with engagements, she retired to her room and went to sleep. + +"It's a day of rest," she would say to her niece; "and if I am given +the opportunity, I shall take advantage of it. Church is too fatiguing +at my age." + +So Hope went off by herself to the morning service at the cathedral. +She sat outside in the nave, and just in front of her was the widow +she had so admired, and three sons. They were already there when she +entered. + +Hope felt a kind of fascination in watching them. Few men of her +acquaintance ever sat through a full morning service, including a +sermon, and as she looked at the three stalwart young men, she wondered +at them. The one who had accompanied his mother the day before was +there, another whose clothes were irreproachable in cut and style and +who fingered a dark moustache in rather a "blasé" fashion, and the +third, a handsome fresh-faced boy apparently only just out of his teens. + +Hope noticed, from several little indications, that all three were +devoted to their mother. As she caught sight of her sweet and rather +regal face, she felt a queer sensation rise in her heart, and for +the first time in her life wished she had a mother. "If I had some +one—some one like that," she thought, "to whom I could turn for comfort +and guidance. Aunt Gertrude is very kind, but this woman is such a +different stamp. Her very look sets me wishing to be good!" + +Then she smiled at her own emotion. "I might be a romantic schoolgirl. +What has come over me? I believe it is the atmosphere of this place." + +She tried to turn her attention to the service, but somehow it no +longer impressed her, and she began to find it tedious. The Dean +preached himself that day. But after he had given out his text, Hope +felt that she had had enough, so she got up and left the cathedral. + +The text alone remained with her. + +"The way of peace they know not." + +She was annoyed at the persistency with which the subject was brought +to her notice. + +"Mere coincidence," she said; "but I will not be made miserable over +it. I don't want peace, I want enjoyment." + +She hurried home, and appeared before her aunt in the gayest of spirits. + +"Don't let us go to sleep down here," she pleaded. "Let us do +something. It is a lovely day. Shall we have a drive?" + +"Yes," assented her aunt eagerly. "We will go over and see a distant +cousin of mine, old General Bacon. I have been looking through my +'Where is it,' and I find that he lives about eight miles off." + +"Does he live alone?" + +"He is married. She was a daughter of Lord Champneys. They have no +children." + +Hope pursed up her pretty lips. + +"I hope they won't be dull. I want excitement." + +Mrs. Daubeney looked at her. + +"We have come into retreat," she said; "you must not forget that, Hope." + +"Oh yes, I know; and yesterday I thought it delicious, and to-day I am +sick of it! This old town is so intensely solemn, isn't it? I think I +shall see what the golf ground is like before lunch. There is still an +hour. What time shall I order the carriage?" + +"At three." + +Hope went cheerily downstairs, sent a message to the coachman, and then +went through the garden by a gate in the wall and across the buttercup +meadows. It was very quiet and sunny; a small boy, trying to fish in +the river, looked at her with fright in his eyes as she approached him. +To her amusement, he threw his line down on the grass, and dodged round +a tree. + +Out of idle curiosity she pursued him, and, putting her hand on his +shoulder, asked: + +"What are you doing?" + +"Please, 'm, I ain't doin' nothin'." + +"Weren't you trying to fish? Why did you throw your rod down?" + +"Cause 'tis Sunday." + +Hope laughed. + +"I shan't scold you," she said, and she walked on. + +Some words that Canon FitzRoy had said in his sermon returned to her. + +"Sabbath-breaking? Do you think it is only the poorer class who abuse +the privileges of Sunday? It is the rich, and not only the poor, who +cast morals behind their backs, and ignore the claims of the Sabbath +upon them. They ignore the God who made it, they ignore the fact that +it is His day, and not theirs." + +"God's day, and not mine," she repeated to herself. "That small boy's +conscience is more tender than mine." + +It was not a pleasant thought, and she walked on the faster, to forget +it. + +The golf course was in fiat meadows by the river. She crossed them and +found herself on a country road upon the outskirts of the town. An old +red-brick house stood back amongst some trees. The smooth sloping lawn +in front of it and the bright flower-beds attracted her attention. + +She was wondering who lived in it, when she saw the widow and her three +sons evidently coming back from the cathedral service. + +They glanced at her in passing, and then crossed the road and went in +at the iron gate. + +Hope walked quickly home. + +"I want to know them," she said again to herself; and then she wondered +why the sight of the widow filled her at once with the desire for +better things. + +She returned to her aunt in another change of mood. + +"I almost feel inclined to stay at home and sit in the garden with a +book," she said. + +"But I don't feel so inclined," said Mrs. Daubeney good-humouredly. +"Your feelings change oftener than the barometer, so we cannot rely +upon them to guide us through a day." + +Hope laughed lightly and said nothing more. But before lunch was over, +a motor drove up to the door with a party of six friends in it from +town, so their drive had to be cancelled. Bridge-playing and music took +up the whole afternoon, and after dinner was over, Hope went early to +bed, acknowledging to herself that it was possible, even in Kayminster, +to continue their usual pursuits. + + +And as the days slipped by, it seemed as if they were, indeed, almost +as full as those in town. There were a great many garden-parties +and picnics given in the neighbourhood, and the Chesneys took care +that Hope should not feel dull. Outwardly she was the life of every +gathering in which she found herself. Minnie Chesney said that there +was no "go" in any game if Hope did not join in it, and yet, under her +keen animation and sparkling merriment, Hope was conscious of a growing +discontent and restlessness in her heart. + +One afternoon she took Lady May Fosberry into her confidence. A tennis +tournament was going on at General and Mrs. Bacon's. Both girls had +been playing, but had been beaten, and between the sets Hope asked her +friend to walk round the garden with her. + +"I have always meant to ask you about your time in the East End, May. +Did you get tired of it? Did it come short of your expectations?" + +Lady May gave a little embarrassed laugh. "It made me so miserable, +Hope. I had to give it up." + +"Why?" + +"Oh, I don't exactly know. You see it all began by my going to hear +Canon FitzRoy in town. He made me so ashamed of the life that I was +leading that I felt that I must do something. And I thought that the +East End poor would be like our tenants on our estate, who are so +pleased when I go to see them. They think it quite an honour." + +"Well?" said Hope, as May came to a pause. + +"I found they were absolutely void of any respect towards our class; +they were either like rough drunken savages or insolent socialists. I +could not get on with them. The dirt and the wickedness sickened me. +And if you want the honest truth, Hope, I discovered that there was +nothing that I could do for them. I could not teach them anything. They +only laughed at me behind my back; I heard they did. Only one woman was +really nice, and she was dying, poor soul. She said to me one day,— + +"'Oh, miss, it isn't so much food that I want, and good nursing, I get +enough of both, but it's peace in my soul. I've led a wicked life, and +I've got to meet God. 'Tis that which scares me so.' + +"What could I say to her? She was too ill to go to church. I told the +Vicar about her, and I suppose he went to her; but I could do her no +good. Could you have helped her?" + +"No," said Hope gravely, "because I'm feeling exactly the same myself." + +"And so am I," returned May quickly; "and I think Canon FitzRoy is +right, we are just as bad as they are, as far as our relationship to +God goes. We don't know or love Him any better than they do; and I came +to the conclusion that it was all a farce, and so I gave it up." + +"Do you ever talk to Hester Chesney? She worked in the slums, she tells +me." + +"Yes; she gave it up as I did. But I am afraid of her, she is so +cynical. Mother scolds me because she says I mope; but I'm really quite +miserable about myself." + +"I heard a hymn sung in the cathedral here that was quite lovely," said +Hope slowly, "at least it sounds so. Perhaps you know it? + + "'Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin? + The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.'" + +"Yes, I have heard it." + +May repeated the words softly to herself, and then Minnie Chesney came +up, and the little talk was over. But Hope began to feel that there +were other restless hearts besides her own; and she wondered again if +there was any solution of the problem that was perplexing her. + +That same afternoon she was introduced for the first time to Mrs. Dane, +the widow lady in whom she was so interested. She learnt that she was +the wife of a late canon at the cathedral; that her eldest son held +some civil appointment in India and had just come home for a holiday, +and that her two other sons lived at home. One was agent on a ducal +estate in the neighbourhood, the other was reading at home for the Bar. +Mrs. Dane only spoke to Hope for a few minutes; but her youngest son, +Paul, was Hope's partner at tennis, and he was very communicative. + +"We have been wondering who you were," he said to Hope, "for you are +foreign to the usual type about here. I don't mean the county people, +but the Kayminster folk. My mother noticed you at the cathedral long +ago. Oh, you don't know how you have been discussed. What do you think +of our sleepy town?" + +"I like it," responded Hope brightly; "it is restful." + +He looked at her comically. + +"You don't want rest." + +"I do. My life is mostly spent in town. One gets so tired of the +crowds." + +"Ah, that is what I like. I'm soon going to take up my abode there. You +are seeing our neighbourhood to the best advantage now, but wait till +the winter comes." + +"I don't think I shall be here then." + +He looked a little disappointed. + +"We heard that Mrs. Daubeney was becoming a resident here." + +"Oh no, she has only come here to be quiet. She is not very strong at +present, and her doctors advised the move." + +"Do you know the Danes well?" Hope asked Minnie Chesney a little later. + +"Yes, Mrs. Dane is a dear; a little too good and proper for me. Her +sons idolise her. Paul is a very nice boy; Rufus gives himself airs; +the eldest has just come home from India. He is very clever, I believe. +We asked him here to-day, but he wouldn't come. He is not a 'ladies' +man,' Paul says. Don't you hate that expression? I do. Mrs. Dane is +going to call on your aunt, so you will have an opportunity of knowing +her boys, and perhaps you can persuade Lancelot to be a little more +sociable. We used to be girls and boys together. Lancelot was always +different from the others. Not a prig, but one who always expected us +to follow his lead, very masterful, and with very high-flown notions. +He has hardly come near us since he has come home. He told me straight +out that we were too young for him. Did you ever hear such nonsense?" + +And then Minnie chattered away on another subject, and Hope returned +home looking forward with pleasure to Mrs. Dane's acquaintance. + + +She called the very next day, and Mrs. Daubeney was not well enough to +see her. Hope was writing at her davenport in the drawing-room when she +was announced, and the girl rose to meet her with a soft flush upon her +cheek, and with shining eyes. Mrs. Dane's low sweet voice fascinated +her, but after a few commonplace remarks Hope said brightly, though the +wistfulness of her eyes belied her tone: + +"I have wanted to know you, Mrs. Dane, ever since I first saw you in +the cathedral. I expect you will laugh at me, but I can't tell you what +the rest and repose of that first evening service were to me, and you +seemed part of it." + +Mrs. Dane regarded Hope's face very tenderly. "I, too, have learnt to +look upon that evening service as something very precious to me," she +said, ignoring the reference to herself. + +"But I'm not at all religious," said Hope quickly; "and I didn't go to +the service in the way you did. It seemed to lay hold of me in some +inexplicable fashion. I suppose the atmosphere impressed me. I am quite +a stranger to quiet. As the good preacher said a couple of Sundays ago, +'The way of peace they know not.' You see I have remembered his text, +though I heard no more." + +"You went out, I think?" + +"Yes; did you notice me? We don't often listen to sermons in town, +unless it is anything very out of the way." She did not say this +flippantly, but stated it as a fact. "Then I went for a walk, and met +a small boy fishing with an uneasy conscience, and then I met you, and +all that Sunday I was alternating between frivolity and seriousness. +I don't know why I am saying this to you except that I have a feeling +that you can help me." + +"Tell me more about yourself." + +"There is nothing to tell you. I am what Canon FitzRoy calls a +butterfly of fashion; and I have only been wondering lately if I could +turn into a bee. I am afraid the two natures are very far apart." + +She laughed gaily as she spoke, but her eyes belied her mirth. + +Mrs. Dane looked at her with deepening interest. "You and I must have +some talks together," she said. "If you can spare the time, will you +come over to see me one morning? I am always at home then." + +"Yes," said Hope quickly, "I will, after our state call has been +accomplished." + +She turned to talk of other subjects, but she felt, before Mrs. Dane +left, that she had made a friend of her, and told her aunt that she had +been entertaining the most fascinating woman that she had ever met. + +Mrs. Daubeney looked dubiously at her when she heard who it was. + +"I should not have thought she was your style, Hope." + +"I am thinking of changing my style," was the girl's quick retort. + +"What do you mean? There is something the matter with you I am sure, +you have been so odd in your manner lately. Is anything troubling you?" + +Hope did not answer. She was pouring out a cup of tea for her aunt in +the drawing-room. Mrs. Daubeney had just come down and was lying on the +couch. She looked at her niece anxiously as the girl came up to her, +cup in hand. + +"Hope, you are not going to refuse George Adair?" + +"My dear aunt, you are premature. He is at present having a very good +time at the Chesneys'. Minnie likes him very much, she told me so. +Now we have come here for a rest. I hear so much about marriage and +proposals in town that I want a change in our programme here. Shall I +play to you?" + +She moved to the piano as she spoke. + +Hope's music was always acceptable, because it was sympathetic. She was +not a brilliant musician, but she loved the art itself, and it was not +so much an accomplishment with her as it was a keen enjoyment. Mrs. +Daubeney as a rule enjoyed it as much as she did, but she was always +vexed when her niece deliberately refused to discuss certain subjects +with her. + +She interrupted a Beethoven sonata: + +"I have asked George to lunch with us to-morrow, and he has accepted." + +Hope nodded her head and went on playing; then suddenly she crashed her +hands down on the keys and rose from her seat. + +"I would rather go straight out to my father, Aunt Gertrude, than marry +George, so I hope he will not ask me." + +With which rather tempestuous sentence she left the room, and Mrs. +Daubeney murmured to herself: + +"She is getting more and more difficult every day." + + + +Chapter IV + +TAKEN BY SURPRISE + +GEORGE ADAIR did come to lunch, and took Hope off to golf in the +afternoon. She was polite and distant with him, but he would not take +the hint, and before the afternoon was over had hastened his fate, and +been kindly but decidedly refused. + +"I really did think you liked me," he said ruefully. + +"So I do as a friend, very much," returned Hope, with troubled eyes; +"but we should be unsuited to each other." + +"I will not allow that; we are always meeting each other at the same +functions. I could give you even a gayer time than you are having! What +else do you want?" + +"I want quiet," said Hope, turning upon him with passion in her tones. +"I am fighting against it, but I believe I really want that peace of +heart and mind that preachers talk about. Our lives are all wrong, +George, and I'm realising it more and more every day." + +George Adair was literally struck dumb by this aspect of things. He +departed very quietly, and Hope went home to break the news to her aunt. + +Mrs. Daubeney was bitterly disappointed; but she had been prepared the +day before for the possibility of such a thing, and Hope was unusually +tender and attentive to her in consequence. + +"If only marriage was not such an irrevocable thing, I would accept +George to please you, aunt; but it wouldn't be to please myself, and +disaster would be sure to follow." + +"I think we had better return to town," said Mrs. Daubeney. "I feel +much better, and it really is very dull here. The Chesneys are going to +Norway next week, and the Bacons are going up to town very soon." + +"It is barely a month since we came down." + +"It is quite long enough." + +When once Mrs. Daubeney made up her mind to move, it was soon +accomplished. + +When Mrs. Dane's call was returned, it was to say goodbye, and she was +out when they called. + +"Fate is against my knowing her," thought Hope; and though she tried +hard to go to the evening service at the cathedral again, she could not +manage it. She left Kayminster with keen regret. + +"I wish you would leave me Wistaria Lodge in your will," she said +laughingly to her aunt. "I don't know when I have taken such a fancy to +a house!" + +"It is a dull little hole," said Mrs. Daubeney with impatience. "I +shall tell my agent to let it without delay." And she never mentioned +Kayminster again to her niece. + + +One afternoon Hope was at a picture gallery in Bond Street. She was +suddenly accosted by May Fosberry. + +"I did not know you were in town," she said. "Oh, Hope, I want to talk +to you so much." + +May was looking very bright; there was something in the quiet intensity +of her tones that struck Hope. + +"I am full up," she answered, "and must meet Aunt Gertrude at Lady +Burberry's in half an hour's time." + +"Half an hour is better than nothing. Come over here. There is a +delicious little picture in a quiet corner that has been delighting my +soul. And if you come at once, there is a vacant seat opposite it." + +The two girls walked off. May pointed out the picture. It depicted +a severe thunderstorm in the Highlands; frightened cattle were +stampeding and flying for shelter. A blue blaze of forked lightning was +realistically represented. Hope expressed her admiration. + +"These French artists are afraid of nothing!" she exclaimed. "That +lightning is most vivid; I can almost hear the roll of thunder after +it." + +"But you have missed the best point," said May. + +"What is it? The blast of the wind and rain, the terrified cattle? It +is a little masterpiece of its kind." + +"Look at the title in the catalogue." + +Hope turned it up. + +"Security," she read, in a puzzled tone, and then the flash of +enlightenment came to her eyes. + +In the corner of the picture she perceived a tiny bird on its nest. +It was in a cleft of a rock overhanging a slope of the hill, and the +little creature was looking on at the storm with quiet, unruffled eyes. +As Hope gazed, sudden tears dimmed her sight. + +"Oh, May!" she exclaimed, and then she stopped. + +May put her hand gently on her arm. + +"I have got there, Hope, I believe. I wanted to tell you so, and it was +your verse that was the beginning of it." + +"What verse? Oh, the one I heard in the cathedral. Do explain!" + +It was a strange opportunity. Many passersby, seeing two fair heads so +close together, wondered what the confidences might be, but not one of +that fashionably-dressed crowd could have guessed the nature of the +confidence. + +May spoke very directly and simply. + +"You know how miserable I was, Hope. I tried so hard to be good, to +get peace in my heart, but it all seemed so hopeless. I thought when +I got away from Society and went into the slums that I should feel +better, but, oh! it was ten times worse. I saw so much sin and misery +that it sickened me. I was just soaked with the atmosphere of open sin, +and when I left it the sense of sin still remained with me. I got to +loathe our Sunday week-ends and bridge parties—one never-ending round +of pleasure, and contempt of all serious things. And then you said that +verse to me: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin? + The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.' + +"I got hold of my Bible that night, and I prayed as I had never prayed +before for light. It came, Hope. I could not quite see the connection +between those two thoughts in that verse, and so I got a concordance +and looked up all the passages that spoke of our Lord's death and His +blood that He shed. And there are some verses in the epistles that +struck me, and one especially made it clear. Are you interested or am I +boring you?" + +"Very interested," was the quick reply. + +"It was about our Lord. First it spoke about us having 'redemption +through His blood, even the forgiveness of sins.' And I felt that if I +knew I had God's forgiveness, I should indeed have peace, and then it +said, 'Having made peace through the blood of His cross'—I forget the +exact words, but it said that was how God reconciled us to Himself. And +in a flash it came to me how wonderfully simple and yet how wonderfully +grand it was. And I knelt down and told God I wanted to be reconciled +to Him through the blood of Christ. I can't tell you the joy that came +into my heart when I realised that it had all been done. It was like +walking through an open gate that had been open all the while I had +been struggling to find the way outside it. Am I making it clear to +you?" + +"I think so," said Hope slowly. "And what difference has it made to +you?" + +Lady May was silent for a minute. + +"It is just another life," she said softly. "I am at peace. I feel I am +in God's family, and all my affairs, spiritual and physical, will be +managed and arranged by Him." + +"Oh!" said Hope, with a long-drawn sigh. "You have got beyond and above +me now. I can't follow you." + + "'The blood of Jesus whispers peace within—'" + +Lady May repeated. "Go to Him and ask Him to give you the peace that, +as the verse says, He made through the blood of His cross. Then you +will get it." + +"But," said Hope, "this isn't the whole of religion. What about works?" + +"Oh no, this is only the beginning; but it's a very happy beginning, +and I'm going to learn now, and work, but I'm only just finding out how +little I know." + +The talk was over. Hope's friends had discovered her; but she went home +very silently, pondering deeply over her friend's words. + + +And in the ensuing days, which were full of engagements, though Hope +laughed and talked with her friends, and joined in all their pleasures, +at heart she felt that the distance was gradually widening between +them, and when she retired to her room at night, her Bible, like Lady +May's, was generally to be found on her knee. + +She did not grasp the truth so quickly as her friend. There were times +when she longed for some one's help, but as she read her Bible, she +began to see that the centre of the Christian faith was contained in +those two lines she had heard sung in Kayminster Cathedral. And at +last, very feebly, she put out her hand and claimed the promise— + + "'We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.'" + +Mrs. Daubeney saw that something was working in her niece's mind. At +first she thought it was regret at having refused George Adair; then, +as the girl's face grew more happy and the anxious furrow between her +eyebrows entirely disappeared, she came to the conclusion that she was +becoming herself again, and gave no further thought to it. + +One afternoon, just as aunt and niece had come in from a shopping +expedition and were having tea with Jim Horrocks, who had returned with +them, there was a sharp ring at the bell, and a few minutes afterwards, +Clark, Mrs. Daubeney's butler, ushered into the room a stranger. + +"Mr. Brian St. Clair." + +Hearing her name, Hope looked up astonished. It was a young fellow of +a different stamp from Mrs. Daubeney's usual visitors. He was dressed +in a rough flannel suit, and looked weather-beaten and worn. He held +himself well, and was tall and broadly built, with a look that an +open-air life indelibly stamps upon a man. His hair was dark and a +trifle curly, he had Hope's eyes without their softness, and his voice, +when he spoke, had rather a quick, curt ring in it. + +"I am sure you didn't expect to see me," he said, addressing Mrs. +Daubeney; "but we only landed early this morning, and are staying at +the Portland Hotel. I came round to see if Hope was here; my father +wants to see her." + +Hope started forward, her face aglow with excitement and interest. + +"Are you my brother? I remember you a small boy in frocks! We never +knew that you were coming over? How many of you are there? And how is +father?" + +"Not very well. He has been a different man since the carriage +accident. There are only Jerry and Toby—they were wild to come with me, +but I left them in charge. Can you come back with me?" + +"And pray," said Mrs. Daubeney, with stiff disapproval, "what is your +father going to do with himself in England?" + +"Get well, I hope," said Brian, looking his aunt in the face steadily. + +"What is the matter with him?" + +"That is what we can't make out. He pins his faith to a certain doctor +he used to know years ago, and is going to see him." + +"I suppose he has made his fortune in Canada and is coming home to +spend it?" + +Brian's face was imperturbably grave. "Fortunes are not made so +easily," he said. + +Then Mrs. Daubeney smiled and made Hope pour out some tea for him. + +"I suppose you must be the eldest boy," she said. "How is it that +you have come home with your father? Are you an idle young man with +unlimited time on your hands?" + +"Now, Aunt Gertrude," said Hope brightly; "he has only just arrived in +England; let all these questions wait. Jim, I am sorry that I cannot go +to the Arbuthnots to-night with you, but I must see my father at once." + +Jim thoughtfully rose to go, but Mrs. Daubeney stopped him. + +"Hope is going to leave me, and Captain Larkins and his sister are +coming in to play bridge, so you must stay and make a fourth. Hope, are +you going off at once? I want to speak to you. Jim, you can entertain +Brian for a few minutes." + +Mrs. Daubeney left the room, and Hope followed her, feeling a strange +sense of uneasiness and foreboding of evil. + +"Now, Hope, listen to me." + +Mrs. Daubeney had seated herself in her small boudoir, and looked at +her niece with determination in her glance. + +"This has taken me very much by surprise. Tell your father that I shall +come to see him to-morrow, if he cannot come to see me; he ought to +have written more definitely about his plans before coming to England. +But remember, I have adopted you, and I am not going to give you up. +He has done without you all these years; he has other children besides +you, and he must turn to them for the help he needs. I shall not, of +course, keep you from seeing your father as often as you like, but he +must understand that my claim upon you comes first. I know your father +better than you do, and you must take a firm hand with him from the +first. Do you understand me?" + +Hope's eyes twinkled with amusement. + +"I am a novice at managing and controlling a parent, aunt! I may fail +in my first attempt." + +"It is no laughing matter, as you would find to your cost if you +forsook me." + +"Oh, don't talk so tragically! Should I be likely to do so after all +your goodness to me?" + +And Hope stooped down to imprint a light kiss on her aunt's forehead, +the only caress that was ever permitted, for Mrs. Daubeney was not a +demonstrative woman. + +Then Hope departed a few minutes later, with her young step-brother. + +"Shall we take a hansom?" she suggested, and when they were in it, she +turned to him very gently. + +"Tell me all you can," she said, "I seem to know so little." + +He drew in his breath a little sharply. + +"He is a wreck, and that's the fact," he said. "A nervous breakdown, +the ship's doctor called it; but I think some injury was done to his +brain when the accident took place. He was unconscious for a week +after, and has never been the same since. It was an awful shock. Poor +little Carrie was the idol of his heart—the only girl, you know. She +was just fourteen, and mother had begged him so hard to leave her +behind. He blames himself for it all, and that hasn't made life easier +to him. He sold up everything and insisted upon coming home; I have had +to come with him, as he wasn't fit to manage himself, and the two kids +are a handful. Of course, I am hoping to go back again." + +"I have not heard from any of you," said Hope, hesitating—"I don't even +know how many of you there are." + +"Five of us now. Jerry and Toby are eight and ten. They are with us. +Father wants them to have some schooling in England. Ralph and Tom are +both doing for themselves in Canada; Ralph is going in for engineering, +and Tom is on a farm." + +"And what do you like doing?" + +"Me? I've been running our farm; but I'm not a good farmer, I prefer +horses." + +"Is father really ill?" + +"You will see for yourself. He suffers a good deal from headache and +sleeplessness." + +The stern gravity of the young fellow impressed Hope. She felt as +he spoke that he knew life as she did not; and she wondered if the +Colonies had the effect of ageing boys before their time. + +When they reached the quiet unpretentious hotel in which her father +was, Hope was again seized with a nervous apprehension of the future. + +Brian took her straight upstairs into a small dingy smoking-room. Her +father and his two younger sons were the only occupants of it. George +St. Clair rose from his chair at his daughter's approach, and Hope +looked up at his tall figure and still handsome face with a certain +amount of admiration. + +He put his hand on her shoulder and surveyed her critically. Hope, in +her turn, noted his sunken eyes and the restless light in them, the +hollows in his cheeks, and the grizzled hair that lay rather untidily +across his forehead. He looked as if he were suffering too much to +care for his outward appearance. But he was the one to break the tense +silence that prevailed between them. + +"And so this is my eldest daughter! A successful product of what money, +education, and fashion can turn out! I should think your aunt is very +well pleased with you, is she not?" + +Hope's heart sank at his tone. She had half-expected some little +expression of affection; and though she had not seen her father for +nearly eighteen years, she could not meet him without some emotion. She +looked up at him rather tenderly, and did not answer his question. + +"I wish I could see you looking better, father. Your return has been +a great surprise to us; Aunt Gertrude says she will come and see you +to-morrow, if you would prefer it to coming round to us yourself." + +"She is no good, Brian!" + +Mr. St. Clair dropped his hand, and sank back into his chair with +a gesture of disappointment. He went on, without heeding Hope's +astonished eyes. + +"I might have known it! Gertrude would only develop the self-indulgence +and love of ease and luxury that have been the curse of the St. Clairs +for so many generations. Were she to come to us, she would require a +carriage and pair to save her legs, and a maid in attendance to save +her hands, and we should be as badly off as we are at present!" + +Brian looked at Hope uncomfortably. + +"You must not mind father's way of speaking; he is not well. Suffering +makes him irritable. Here are our two small scamps. Jerry and Toby, +come and speak to Hope." + +Two very small, curly-headed boys sprang forward from the corner in +which they had been occupying themselves. They were not over-clean, +for they had a pot of glue with which they were doctoring a couple of +miniature yachts, and their fingers and faces were liberally smeared +with the sticky compound. Hope did not know much about boys, but she +stooped and kissed them, noting as she did so that while Jerry's face +was the essence of sunshine and good-humour, Toby's was solemnity +personified. + +They did not speak, but stared at her in silence. + +Hope turned to Brian somewhat wistfully. + +"Tell me what I can do for you. What are your plans?" + +Her father answered her quickly. + +"Plans are frustrated sometimes. I hoped that you might fill the gap +for us, and not let us feel the blank—" + +He stopped, then added hurriedly with a short laugh: + +"You would not care to rough it, and just at present money is not too +plentiful with us." + +"It is not that, father," said Hope eagerly. "It is only that Aunt +Gertrude is getting old and is in failing health. She has been like a +mother to me, remember, and I feel now that she really needs me. But—" + +"My dear Hope, there is no need for any excuses. I have not asked you +to leave her, nor have I asked you to make your home with us. Brian, I +think I shall turn into bed. I'm extraordinarily tired. Give me your +shoulder, boy. I shall be losing the use of my legs pretty soon, I +fear. What time am I to go to Dr. Pierrepoint to-morrow?" + +"Eleven sharp. I'll bring your dinner up to your room." + +"I want no more food to-day. Well, Hope child, tell your aunt she must +come round here to-morrow, if she wants to see me. Good-night; you're a +thorough St. Clair, every inch of you! And you were such a scrap of a +thing when you left us!" + +He gave a quick sigh, and left the room, leaning heavily on his son's +arm. + +Hope's eyes were misty. Though she had not come to offer her services, +the indifference of her father towards her cut her like a knife. She +began to feel the pathos of the situation. Two men and two boys, +without a woman to care for them or look after them; and she gazed at +her small brothers in deepest perplexity, and then she put her hand on +Toby's shoulder. + +"Be friends with me," she said, "I belong to you. Tell me about +yourselves." + +Toby looked at her stolidly through long black eyelashes. + +"Brian is too snorky!" he remarked. "Jerry and I can manage ourselves +right enough. Always have!" + +"What is it to be 'snorky'!" Hope asked, amused. + +Jerry gave a little chuckle. + +"It's one of our words. We have a lot you wouldn't understand. I say, +are you going off? Because do just let Toby and me come with you. We +want to see round a bit, and if Brian is going to keep us in a hen-coop +all our time, we'll soon let him know it!" + +"Why do you call him Toby?" Hope asked. + +"Isn't he like him? He's every bit as sober to look at! Oh, here's old +Brian again!" + +Jerry backed into his corner, and Hope began to think her visit had +been long enough. + +"You have a lot on your hands, Brian," she said, "so I won't keep you. +I shall see you to-morrow, and we can talk over plans better, after we +know what the doctor thinks." + +Brian accompanied her downstairs, and put her into a hansom. Then he +leant across from the pavement and said earnestly: + +"Don't think that father doesn't feel, but he's always irritable and +depressed now, and his head is one perpetual ache. He had got it into +his head that you might come and mother the little chaps a bit. They +want it, but he understands how you feel, and we shall get on all +right. My idea is to go down to the country as soon as possible, where +we can live cheaply and quietly, and I'll get a billet close at hand, +so that I can look after things!" + +"We'll talk it over together," said Hope brightly. + +But when she was left to herself, she felt perplexed and bewildered at +the conflicting duties which lay before her. + + + +Chapter V + +CONFLICTING DUTIES + +"I NEVER saw a man so altered!" + +Mrs. Daubeney had just returned from her visit to her brother, and was +addressing Hope. + +"Yes," said Hope gravely, "but he is ill. Brian has been telling me +that the doctor fears that there is some pressure on the brain. He says +the only chance is for him to have perfect rest and quiet, and freedom +from all anxiety. And Brian told him that he would see he got it. I +like that boy, aunt; I'm sure he's got real grit in him." + +"Well, my dear, George and I had it out about you. He is quite willing +that you should stay on with me, and I have settled to go to Homburg +next week. That cousin of mine, whom I mentioned to you, will be there +with her daughter—my god-daughter, you know—and she is very anxious +that I should make her acquaintance." + +"This is a sudden move, aunt." + +"I am tired of town. I know it is early for Homburg, but it can't be +helped." + +"But," said Hope, with a little hesitation in her voice, "I have +promised Brian to help him all I can in settling somewhere. I really +must see a little of my father. Couldn't you wait a week or two longer +in town?" + +"I am not going to wait a day later than I said. I have offered your +father my house in Kayminster till he can look round. It is empty, and +he may just as well have the use of it." + +"Oh," cried Hope, "that will be delightful for them!" + +"Yes," said Mrs. Daubeney, with a virtuous smile, "they will be +most comfortable and happy there, and the small boys can go to the +grammar-school. I believe the expense is very little. Now that your +family is provided for, my dear, you must give me your time for the +next few days, for I must get some garments for Homburg, and I think +you had better too." + +Hope gave a little sigh. + +"These endless clothes! How I wish we could do without them!" + +The week sped away, and Hope did not see much of her father or +brothers. Twice she called at their hotel and found the boys out, +and her father not well enough to see her. She took Jerry and Toby +to the Zoo and to the Crystal Palace, and persuaded Brian to drive +out to Richmond with her one afternoon. He was singularly silent and +uncommunicative, and instinctively Hope felt that he did not approve +of her. She tried to tell him that she was very tired of her life, but +he did not encourage her confidence, and she realised that to him she +must appear a very self-indulgent idle pleasure-seeker. When she once +said something about her aunt's dislike to go about alone, he said with +intolerance of youth: + +"I should think an old lady of her age would be only too glad to be +quiet. I can't conceive how she can find pleasure in it, unless it is +to see you enjoy yourself!" + +And Hope then subsided entirely. The day before she left for Homburg, +she went round to the hotel and wished them all goodbye. + +"I shall come down to Kayminster, father, and see you directly I +return. I do hope the quiet, country air will do you good." + +Mr. St. Clair hardly replied to her. Jerry called out: + +"You'd much better come with us now. I'm sure we want some one to look +after us, don't we, dad? And Toby and me mean to get away from Brian's +clutches as soon as ever we can!" + +Just before leaving, Hope put an envelope into Brian's hands. + +"It's a trifle for father's comforts. Don't tell him, but use it as you +want it; and do write to me if things don't go straight." + +When Brian opened it after she had gone, he found a cheque for fifty +pounds. + + +As Hope was speeding down to Dover in the train with her aunt, she +abandoned herself to gloomy anticipations of the future. + +"I am so tired, so disgusted with it all. I would so much rather +be helping Brian to keep house in Kayminster. I don't believe Aunt +Gertrude would miss me for a time. And yet father does not want me. +And I am so helpless, I feel quite lost without a maid to look after +my things. How I wish I knew what to do. I suppose I must wait till we +return to town again!" + +Jim Horrocks, who always took upon himself to see them off on any of +their journeys, was talking in an animated way to Mrs. Daubeney. As his +eyes noted Hope's troubled face, and he heard her sigh for the third or +fourth time, he turned to her. + +"What on earth is the matter with you, Hope? You are gazing out of the +window as if your last hour had come!" + +Hope looked at him half-gravely, half-humorously. + +"I am just wishing I could turn into a cow," she said. "I always wish +I were one when I am in a train; they look so deliciously restful in +their shady fields. Just think of the quiet meditation they can have. +No one harries them—" + +"Except the flies." + +"That is a very trivial annoyance. They must feel they are of use to +mankind, so that their lives are not entirely empty ones; they are not +lonely, for they have their companions, and yet they are not bothered +by them. I think I would rather be a cow than any other creature on +earth!" + +"My dear Hope, what extraordinary things you say!" + +Mrs. Daubeney looked quite scandalised, but Jim laughed delightedly. + +"We'll cow it together one day, Hope. I'll take you out for a day's +fishing; that's the nearest situation to your ideal one, I fancy! What +subject are you taking for your meditations, may I ask?" + +"Conflicting duties," said Hope audaciously. "You know where I ought to +be, Jim, and Aunt Gertrude knows too. That is why she hurried me away +so quickly, before I had time to formulate my convictions. Aunt, dear, +I wish you would imagine that I am going out to Homburg to get married." + +"I wish you were," said Mrs. Daubeney. + +"Do you really? Then what would you do?" + +"I should be delighted to see you settled," said Mrs. Daubeney, +innocent of the trap that was being laid for her. "And in that case I +should take my god-daughter about with me. Her mother is not at all +well off, and wants me to chaperon her." + +"Oh!" said Hope, with a little nod across at Jim. "Mow I see daylight!" + +"Are you meditating matrimony?" asked Jim. "I'm sure you couldn't do +better than to take me." + +"Don't resurrect dead bones! No; if my convictions grow too strong for +my peace of mind, I shall elope by myself back to England one day, and +Aunt Gertrude will solace herself with Eva. You can't say I haven't +warned you of the possibility." + +Mrs. Daubeney looked at her niece rather sleepily. + +"Lord Hawthorne is at Homburg, so is Captain Calthorpe. Lord Hawthorne +is an estimable young man." + +Her eyelids drooped. + +Hope looked at Jim with mischief in her eyes. + +"Dear aunt! May those two names figure in her dreams and bring her +visions of wedding-bells and orange blossoms!" + +"Look here, Hope, what are you going to do?" + +"I don't honestly know, Jim." + +Hope's twinkling mirth died away. It was what made her attractive to so +many—her sudden changes from grave to gay, and her endless varieties of +moods. + +"I know what I would like to do," she said softly, so as not to disturb +Mrs. Daubeney's nap. "I would like to retire to the country with my +father and brothers and make myself useful to them. I am tired of this +kind of life, Jim. If Aunt Gertrude would be happy without me, I should +leave her without a qualm!" + +"You would die of the dismals if you buried yourself in the country," +said Jim decidedly. + +"No, indeed, I should not; but they don't want me. That is the +bitterest part; they think I shall be more trouble than I'm worth. I +have other interests now, Jim; I have told you so before. And I want +to do something with my life; I have wasted so much time that I don't +want to waste any more. I am sure I could relieve Brian of some of the +strain he is feeling. You rather took to him, did you not?" + +"Yes, I thought he was an awfully good sort." + +"Then will you go down to them at Kayminster and say a word for me? +Tell them that I could make them comfortable. Say I don't mind roughing +it. I can light a fire, Jim—you know I did it at that picnic we had +last summer, and I washed up the dishes afterwards, did I not? I'm not +absolutely useless. Tell them all you can about my useful qualities and +then write and let me know the result. Will you do this for me?" + +Hope lifted soft pleading eyes to the young man's face, and he hastily +promised he would do his best for her. + +But as he waved his farewell to her on the steamer, he said grimly to +himself: + +"She would not face poverty with me. Why should she court it now by +going to them? She is not cut out for a working-woman." + +The weeks that followed at Homburg were not enjoyable to Hope. She +found it increasingly difficult to get any quiet time to herself, and +things that she formerly had done as a matter of course now grated on +her feelings. + +Her Sundays were miserable; and at last she decided to speak out to +her aunt and tell her of the change she felt in her heart. She did it +in much trepidation one Sunday night after she had refused to make a +fourth at bridge. Mrs. Daubeney was vexed, and came to Hope's bedroom +between twelve and one o'clock at night to remonstrate with her. + +"Now, Aunt Gertrude, I will make a clean breast of it," said Hope, +drawing forward an easy chair and making her aunt sit in it. + +Then she sat down on the rug beside her, and, laying her head against +her knee, took her hand caressingly in hers. + +"I don't want you to think me priggish or uncharitable or hypocritical, +but I'm beginning to look at things quite differently now. It was +Canon FitzRoy's sermons. I do wish you had heard them, aunt. You would +have felt just as I did, I know you would. Anyhow, they made me pretty +miserable until I found out from the Bible how I could be happy. +I think it's not seeing what religion really is that makes one so +indifferent to it—" + +"Come, come," said Mrs. Daubeney restlessly, "don't begin to preach to +me, Hope. Say what you want and have done with it." + +"Then it is this. I want to spend my Sundays in a manner that will +please God. I want to put His pleasure before my own, and I am going +to knock off all week-day pursuits, bridge first and foremost amongst +them." + +"You are crazy!" + +"I don't think I am. I don't feel so." + +"I begin to think," said Mrs. Daubeney slowly, "that you are commencing +a series of small annoyances with an object in view. I am not dense by +nature, and I know what a hankering you have to be with your father. Do +you think that by making yourself disagreeable I shall be more likely +to let you go? I am determined that you shall not, for your own sake as +well as theirs. I intend to keep you with me, Hope, until you marry, +and if you attempt to leave me before that day arrives, you will leave +me penniless, for I shall stop your allowance immediately, and then +where would you be?" + +"Oh, Aunt Gertrude, don't be angry with me!" + +Hope felt startled and dismayed at her aunt's determined accents. + +"You must not give me credit for such underhand motives," the girl +continued, with distress in her eyes. "You know how I love you and how +grateful I am for all you have done for me. But I know, and you say +yourself, that if I married to-morrow, you would be perfectly happy. +Why should you not let me pay my father a visit? Eva would take my +place, and you would not miss me much. Still, all this has nothing to +do with the case in point. I cannot play bridge on Sunday. I am quite +determined in my own mind that it is wrong for me to do it. I don't +judge any one else. I seem to see everything so differently now. Please +let me go my own way as quietly as possible. I don't want to interfere +with any one else. And, oh, Aunt Gertrude, if you only knew what peace +I have in my heart, you would not grudge it to me! I have been so +miserable, and I am so happy now! I wish you could understand about it." + +Mrs. Daubeney patted her shoulder caressingly. + +"There, my dear, keep your religious convictions to yourself. It is not +good taste to talk about them. And wait to offer your services to your +father till he requires them. He does not want you at present, he told +me so. I must go to bed; I am quite sleepy. I know these new emotions +of yours will pass, so I am going to take no notice of them." + +She kissed the girl kindly. It always cost Mrs. Daubeney a good deal to +speak harshly to any one. She had deemed it best to show her niece that +she was not to be trifled with, and having done so, she was not going +to refer to the matter again. + +Hope returned her aunt's kiss warmly, but she spent a sleepless night. +The words of her young step-brother rang in her ears: + +"Father had got it into his head that you might come and mother the +little chaps a bit." + +And she realised that her aunt was not given to consider others' needs +before her own. Then she prayed for guidance, and met her aunt the next +day with a cheerful smiling face, for she felt sure that her way would +be made clear to her. + +About three weeks after she had arrived at Homburg, Hope got her first +letter from Kayminster, and it was not from either Brian or her father, +but from the small boys. + + "MY DEAR HOPE,—This letter is from me and Jerry, but I'm writing it +because Jerry blots so. We'd like you to know that things are going +bad. The school is rotten, and Brian won't let us stay to dinner, and +the stuff this Anne gives us is simply filth, and Brian is away most of +the day and doesn't know the rottenness of it. And Brian is a shocking +mender. We're ashamed of our stockings. Dad sits up and slangs all +round. We think you ought to come and tidy the house a bit, like mother +did; there's no one here to keep Anne in order, and she's too cheeky, +and I caught her drinking dad's soup. + + "England is no good at all, and Jerry and I wish we were back in +Canada. We have no horses, or cows, nor poultry, nor even a dog, and +what are fellows to do out of school-time? The only fun is walking on +the top of the walls round the neighbours' gardens, and Jerry cut his +head when he tumbled, and Anne screamed, and dad scolded, and I had to +stop the bleeding with Brian's handkerchiefs. We'll expect you five +days from this. Two for this letter to get to you, one day to pack, and +two days to get here. Jerry and me will meet the train next Thursday. +We think you'll come, and we've told Anne you will. It has made her sit +up. She wants a mistress. Your affectionate brothers,— + + "JERRY and TOBY." + +Hope laughed and sighed over this letter, then took it straight to her +aunt, saying: + +"I am going to run away from you. This shows how I am wanted. You will +be quite happy here looking after Eva, and she will look after you. And +I'm sure you won't miss me. It doesn't matter about money. I shall have +to earn something if I can. Oh, Aunt Gertrude, dear Aunt Gertrude, let +me go! I feel torn in two!" + +For an hour Mrs. Daubeney scolded, reasoned, and pleaded with her, then +suddenly relented and told her she would let her go. + +"I believe the discomfort of it all will drive you back to me. I will +allow you one hundred pounds a year—no more. You will not be going out +into Society, so that will be sufficient to clothe you. And I shall +adopt Eva for the time; her mother is only too willing." + +"I would rather have no allowance from you when I am away from you," +said Hope. + +"Nonsense, you can't afford to be proud. You are my niece, and I know +your father too well to let you be dependent on him for every penny +that you need. Say no more about it. If I did not think he is fast +breaking up, I would not let you go to him. As it is, I feel it will be +only for a short time." + +Hope was only too thankful to part on friendly terms with her. She made +her preparations quickly, and wrote to her father telling him that he +might expect her. But when the last minute came and she was wishing her +aunt goodbye, she broke down. + +"I'm glad I'm going," she said, struggling to restrain her tears; "but +I feel like a bird leaving the nest. You have mothered me for so long, +and been so good to me, that I shall feel perfectly forlorn without +you!" + +Mrs. Daubeney's eyes were misty, but she controlled her feelings. + +"You ought to have married sooner—you are throwing away your chances. +Never mind, you will soon get tired of it and come back to me!" + +With this prophecy in her ears, Hope journeyed back to England. + + + +Chapter VI + +A BUSY DAY + +HOPE was very tired when she reached Kayminster. She arrived at +the station about four o'clock in the afternoon, and was a little +disappointed to find no one there to meet her. She had not heard from +her father since she had written saying she was coming to him, and she +began to wonder if he would welcome her gladly or not. + +She drove to the house in a fly, and the door was opened by a rough, +good-natured looking girl. + +"Yes, miss," she said, in reply to Hope's inquiry for her father, +"we're all expectin' of you, and Mr. St. Clair keeps askin' if you've +come. You'll find him in the droring-room, miss. He uses that mostly. +Mister Brian, he bade me look after you and tell you he couldn't be +back afore seven." + +[Illustration: "MR. ST. CLAIR KEEPS ASKIN' IF YOU'VE COME."] + +Hope made no reply to this volubility, but pushed open the drawing-room +door, and found her father smoking in an easy chair. + +He rose and held out his hand. + +"Here you are, then? Have you had a good journey? I'm afraid it's a +great mistake your leaving your aunt, but time will show. I'm sure we +want some help in running this house, for any one more incompetent than +this stupid creature we have at present I never beheld. Her cooking is +enough to put any one off his food. Why don't they bring up English +working-girls to cook? A colonist's daughter would be ashamed if she +couldn't bake bread and pickle pork and meat. This girl makes a hash of +everything she tries!" + +Hope sat down and took off her gloves. + +"Where are the boys?" she asked. + +"At school. Would you like a cup of tea? I don't drink it. We don't +have our evening meal till seven. Well, how is your aunt?" + +"Very well. She sent her love. You are not looking very grand, father." + +"It's this town. I never could stand town from the time I was a boy. +And I shall never get my sleep again till I'm in the open country." + +"We found this house very quiet when we were in it. I remember I +thought Kayminster such a peaceful little place after London." + +Hope's eyes strayed round the room as she talked. Dust lay thick on +ledges and corners, a pair of boy's boots was under one chair, a boy's +cap on the piano, books and papers were strewn about untidily; the +room had a dingy uncared-for look, as different from the quaint little +dainty place that she remembered as black from white. Her father caught +her glance. + +"Yes," he said humorously, "we shall shock your fine artistic feelings; +but for your own sake, my girl, put your shoulder to the wheel, and +don't criticise, but reform." + +Then Hope laughed out. + +"I will, father; I shall make mistakes, but you must try not to be hard +upon me. I have come with the intention of making you comfortable, and +however hard I have to work, I am determined to succeed." + +The door opened and Anne appeared with a beaming face. On a tray with a +soiled table-napkin she brought a cup of tea and some bread and butter. + +"I knewed you would like a cup o' tea," she remarked; "my missus at my +last place always had it." + +Hope thanked her with a smile. The tea helped to fortify her for her +tour through the house. It all looked very untidy and dirty, and when +she got to her own room, the very same she had had when she was there +before, she locked her door, and sitting down, gave way to tears. + +To her, the contrast from her aunt's luxuriously and well-appointed +house struck her forcibly. And a deep depression for the time seemed +to overcloud her spirits. Her father treated her so very indifferently +that she wondered if she would ever learn to know and understand him. +She doubted her own capabilities for housekeeping on such a small +scale; and then she took herself to task for being so faint-hearted. +A little later, a loud whoop and shout and a scamper of feet up the +stairs told her of the advent of her small brothers. Then came a thump +on her door. + +"Hope, let us in! What are you doing—unpacking?" + +She opened the door and kissed the boys affectionately. + +"I have turned up, you see!" + +"Time enough too!" cried Jerry, dancing round her. "And Toby and me +don't mean to let you go again. We like you, we do, and we don't think +you a bit stuck up!" + +"Thank you," said Hope, laughing; then she glanced at her closed trunks +in dismay. She only now realised what the absence of a maid meant. + +"Can you boys undo those straps for me?" + +They were down on their knees directly, cuffing each other in their +anxiety to prove their respective dexterity and smartness. + +"Shall we unpack for you?" asked Toby gravely. + +Hope shuddered as she looked at their hands, and thought of all her +pretty muslins and delicate silks. + +"No, thank you. I will unpack, myself. Find a chair and talk to me." + +"Oh, it's awful in England!" ejaculated Toby. "There's no riding, +nothing but lessons in stuffy rotten rooms, and fellows who are muffs, +and like spending their money in sweet-shops. I say, can you make +cakes? Anne can't; she makes sticky dough as tough as boots, and burns +it always!" + +"And will you get dad to give us pocket-money?" + +Hope forgot her woes listening to the grievances and wants of these two +youngsters. + +When she met her father again, there was brightness in her glance. + +The evening meal was not appetising. "'Igh tea," Anne called it. + +A dish of greasy burnt chops, rancid butter, stewed tea, and a large +rice-pudding adorned the table, but the arrival of Brian, armed with a +basket of strawberries, improved the aspect. The grip of Brian's hand +and the pleased look in his eyes were like a ray of sunshine to Hope. +She exerted herself to talk, and Mr. St. Clair seemed to lose a little +of his irritability and gloom. + +Afterwards, Brian shut his small brothers into the study with their +evening preparation, coaxed his father out into the garden, into a +hammock-chair, and then, armed with a watering-pot, proceeded to +refresh the dry and thirsty flowers. Hope insisted upon helping him, +and as they worked together, they talked. + +"What are you doing now?" Hope asked him. + +Brian gave a short little laugh. + +"Well, I'm earning an honest livelihood; not a very grand billet, but +better than nothing, and I can't stand loafing round. I've never been +accustomed to it. Don't ask too many questions about it. I wanted to +get on a farm. As it is, I'm helping with some horses, which I like +better, and I can sleep at home. What do you think of the garden? Looks +rather forlorn, doesn't it? I try and do a bit of weeding when I come +home, but it wants one always at it this time of year. We haven't the +money for a gardener." + +"Is—is father very badly off, Brian?" asked Hope hesitatingly. + +"Well, you see, he hasn't saved. His private income would be just +enough to keep himself in comfort, but the two boys want schooling. +I'm thankful now I'm off his hands. I'm able to pay for my keep. It's +a pretty tight fit, I can tell you. I think this house is a mistake. +We want a cottage in the country where living is cheap, but then again +it's a question of the boys' schooling. We can't afford to send them +anywhere as boarders." + +"You don't pay rent for this!" + +"I wish we did. I hate favours!" + +Brian's tone was sharp and short. + +Hope was silent, then she said: + +"What does father do all day?" + +"He worries round. Now you're here, you can amuse him. If you could +get him out fishing, it would do him a world of good. He sits in the +house and mopes. It is so utterly unlike him, for he has always gone in +for such an active life. He won't do anything alone. If I was home and +took him about, he'd be a lot brighter. I'm hoping great things from +you. You see, there's been no one to run the house. And our maid, as +you see, is a rough-and-ready sort, and not over-clean. Perhaps you can +lick her into shape. She isn't a bad sort, and puts up with father's +scoldings, but she is not as good a cook as Toby is. I was cook for the +first week, and our meals were a sight more appetising, I can tell you!" + +Hope laughed, and he laughed with her. + +"I'm a good colonist," he said; "I can turn my hand to most things." + +"I wish you would teach me to be useful," said Hope; "I'm afraid I +shall be terribly awkward." + +He glanced at her white dress, a garment of delicate "crêpe de chine" +and costly lace, and shook his head with a little smile. + +"You'll have to change your style of dress the first thing," he said. + +"Oh, I mean to. I have plain linen gowns for morning wear, and I shall +buy some aprons. I mean to work, so you must encourage and not laugh at +me!" + +After a pause, she asked: + +"Do you know any of the people round here? There are some very nice +families living outside Kayminster." + +"Thank goodness we don't! And I devoutly hope you won't be bringing any +of your fashionable acquaintances about the place." + +"Why not? I'm sure you would like the Chesneys. You are not going to +live like hermits, Brian?" + +"With father in his present state, it's essential to keep him quiet," +said Brian sternly. "He hates company, and he shan't be inflicted with +it." + +"But may I not know my friends?" + +He shrugged his shoulders. + +"Keep them away from father, and don't bring them to the house." + +Hope looked perplexed and dismayed. But she judged it wise to say no +more. She wondered to herself if Brian intended to rule her life and +take every bit of pleasant intercourse away from her. And then, looking +at his stern young face, she smiled. + +"He is only a boy," she said to herself, "made old before his time. I +shall go my own way in spite of him." + +She went over to her father's chair, and sitting down by him, chatted +brightly on various topics. Mr. St. Clair at first was inclined to be +satirical, but Hope's persistent brightness soon interested him. She +was delighted to find that, in spite of his rough colonial life, her +father was a man of culture, who loved books; and he in his turn was +surprised to find that his daughter's head was not exclusively filled +with clothes and gaiety. + +When Hope laid her head on her pillow that night, she was bravely +resolved not only to make the best of her altered circumstances, but to +improve them by any means that lay in her power, and she fell asleep +with the cathedral chimes sounding in her ear. + + +The next day proved to be a very long and perplexing one to her. + +She was called early by Anne, who informed her that the breakfast-hour +was at eight o'clock, and when Hope, after a hasty toilette, descended +the stairs, she met with calamity number one. Jerry, in pushing roughly +against Anne, had made her drop a kettle of boiling water over him. +Happily it was only his right arm that was badly scalded, but he was +frantic with the pain, and refused to let any one see the extent of +his hurt. Hope was at her wits' end. She managed to pull off his coat, +but it was Anne who was equal to the occasion. She quickly went out to +the kitchen, and in a minute had made a poultice of dough, which she +clapped on the boy's arm in a peremptory fashion. + +Toby looked on with great concern, then his eyes began to twinkle. + +"I'm afraid we shall both have to take a holiday," he said; "you'll +want me to look after you, Jerry, won't you?" + +Jerry paused in his wry contortions of face to consider this aspect of +affairs. + +"I'm burnt to the bone," he cried, "and I hate you all fussing round +me." + +"There's master's bell," said Anne, "and I've got no hot water, and +he'll be wanting of his breakfast, and I knows as how everything will +all go wrong the 'ole livelong day now." + +She dashed off to the kitchen with the empty kettle, leaving pools of +water on the dining-room carpet. Hope went out to the kitchen to get +a cloth, and for the first time in her life went down on her knees to +wipe up the water. Then she established Jerry in an armchair and made +him as comfortable as she could, after which she insisted upon Toby's +coming to the table and having his breakfast. + +"Of course you must go to school," she said, "and explain to your +master what has happened, and why Jerry is at home. Does father always +have his breakfast in his room?" + +"Yes, since he has been ill; and it is fun to hear his bell keep +ringing." + +"And Brian goes off without having any breakfast?" + +"Oh, he gets his where he goes," said Toby; "you needn't never bother +about Brian. We have our breakfast in the kitchen with Anne, but now +you've come, she's brought it in here, and is as flustered as an old +turkey-cock." + +Hope got some fresh hot water from the kitchen, made the tea, and +gave the boys their breakfast, eating very little herself; the thick +half-raw rashers of bacon did not induce hunger. + +When Toby had departed, very reluctantly, for school, Hope went +upstairs to see her father, who promptly handed her several business +letters to answer. He did not seem disturbed at his small son's mishap. + +"They're always doing something to themselves," he said. + +"But had we not better have a doctor?" Hope asked. "It may want +dressing; he seems in great pain." + +Her father smiled. + +"Well, you can dress it, I suppose. How would you like to live a +hundred miles from any doctor, as we do out in the colonies? You soon +learn to do things for yourself there. If you look in my bookcase over +there, you will find a handbook of medicine and surgery, &c. That will +tell you how to treat scalds. But don't you forget to answer those +letters by return of post. They are important. My head is so bad this +morning, I can't write a stroke. I've made the attempt and failed." + +So Hope departed with her medical book and batch of correspondence, to +find Anne waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. + +"If you please, miss, Mr. Brian 'e says to me that you would order the +dinner, and the butcher 'e's waiting for orders." + +Hope went out to the kitchen to inspect the larder and talk over +housekeeping generally. In the middle of it, her father's bell rang +violently, and there was a simultaneous outcry from Jerry in the +dining-room. + +She reached Jerry to find that he had left his armchair, and in +endeavouring to reach, in a left-handed fashion, a fishing-rod of +his father's that was over the mantelpiece, he had brought down two +valuable China vases, and smashed them to atoms in the grate. + +Mr. St. Clair wanted an alteration made in one of the letters he had +told his daughter to write. Hope went from one to the other feeling +half-dazed. The rest of her morning passed in struggling to unpack her +belongings, keeping Jerry quiet and amused, dusting and tidying the +rooms, and arranging some flowers which she picked from the garden. + +Mr. St. Clair and Toby both appeared for the one o'clock dinner, and +the former asked her if she could not superintend the cooking a little. + +"Any woman ought to be able to cook," he asserted. "This girl is a +disgrace to her sex." + +"I will try to-morrow and see what I can do," said Hope bravely, but +her heart sank within her. + +The afternoon seemed to bring her endless small duties. She took her +father out by the back gate into the buttercup meadows and along the +river, and both enjoyed the quiet of it. Then she came home, to hear +Toby rampaging through the house, shrieking out for some one to mend a +huge hole which he had torn in his coat, and Jerry crying from pain and +sheer dulness. She called the boys to her, sat down and mended Toby's +jacket, while she told them a story from a humorous book she had in her +travelling-trunk. + +When Brian came back, he found the boys with clean hands and faces, the +table full of bright flowers, and Hope with a very tired but smiling +face. + +She welcomed him with intense relief. He looked at Jerry's arm and knew +exactly what to do with it, and when they sat down to tea, they were a +cheerful little party. But Brian had keen eyes, and he was thoughtful +beyond his years. He realised that his sister needed rest, and he made +her take it out in the garden. + +"Sit still with father and I will garden," he said, and Hope obeyed him. + +Later on, she took counsel with him. + +"I shall get into it, but to-day it seems to have been one long +struggle to get things done, and Anne seems to me to have no method, +and is a shocking cook; don't you think we might change for the better?" + +"I should have thought she could be trained." + +"Well, I will do my best. I suppose with a cookery-book, I ought to be +able to give her some hints." + +That evening when she went to bed, she opened her window and leant out +of it, wondering with vague dismay whether she could possibly continue +such a life. Her back ached, her feet ached, and her head ached, and +she with difficulty suppressed her inclination to tears. + +"I am just like an upper servant," she told herself. "A few more days +like this will make me ill. And father thinks this is the kind of life +for every woman! I think Brian is the only one who shows sympathy." + +Then she took herself to task for her selfishness. + +"I have been spoiled by luxury. It will do me all the good in the +world. I have been wanting to be useful. Now, when I am given the +chance, I grumble!" + +She took out her Bible, and in her evening reading came to the words: + + "'If I, then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, ye also +ought to wash one another's feet. + + "'For I have given you an example that ye should do as I have done to +you. + + "'Verily, verily, I say unto you: The servant is not greater than his +Lord, neither he that is sent greater than He that sent him. + + "'If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.'" + +And in thinking of her Master who stooped to such lowly service +Himself, Hope's eyes glowed, and she began to catch a glimpse of the +glorification of daily drudgery. + + + +Chapter VII + +SETTLING DOWN + +IT was quite a week before Hope grasped the reins of home government, +and as she feared, she made many mistakes. If she taught Anne a few +lessons in method and cleanliness, Anne taught her some in economy, for +as yet Hope had little idea of the value of money. Mr. St. Clair was +curiously punctilious in all business matters; he told his daughter he +had never been in debt during the whole of his rough colonial life, +and Brian informed her that this trait had made him quite conspicuous +amongst his happy-go-lucky neighbours. He insisted now upon having +weekly books from the tradesmen; and putting aside a certain sum for +housekeeping, would not exceed it by a penny. + +Hope was aghast at the end of her first week to find that she had +exceeded it by a couple of pounds. She promptly supplied the deficit +from her own purse, but determined not to err in like manner again. +Her days were very full. She found her mending-basket never empty. Her +father made great demands on her time and attention, and she was not +sure of half an hour to herself throughout the day. The first Sunday +had been pouring wet, and none of the family had gone to church, but +one afternoon in the following week, she found that she could attend +the cathedral service. + +The stillness and coolness of the atmosphere struck her more forcibly +than ever, but she was able now to join in the service with all her +heart, and her soul was refreshed and strengthened by communion with +One whom she had learnt to love. + +Coming out, Mrs. Dane stopped her, and as she shook hands, there was +something in her firm genial grasp that brought at once a sense of +strength and sympathy. + +"Are you back again?" she asked. "I am so glad to see you. How is your +aunt?" + +"She is not with me," said Hope, adding impulsively. "May I walk a part +of the way home with you?" + +In a few minutes, she made Mrs. Dane aware of her altered +circumstances. She touched lightly upon them, but the elder woman +looked upon her with quickened interest as she talked. + +"Do you remember saying to me that you wanted to turn from a butterfly +into a bee?" she asked presently. + +"Yes. I was in a kind of transition state then, or wanting to be. But +in town I learnt a good deal. I see life so differently now Mrs. Dane." + +The tone more than the words conveyed all that Hope wished her friend +to know; and Mrs. Dane was quick at comprehension. + +"I expect you are having a very uphill time, are you not?" + +"Yes, I am. The thing I mind most is that I have so little time to +myself. Quiet seems at an end. And quiet peace is what I have longed +for so much. The thought of the possibility of it quite reconciled me +to leaving all my gaiety." + +"But," said Mrs. Dane thoughtfully, "however busy we are, we can carry +the sense of peace about with us. Do you know that hymn— + + "'Peace, perfect peace, by thronging duties press'd? + To do the will of Jesus, this is rest.'" + +Hope's face brightened visibly. + +"How strange!" she said. "It was the first verse of that hymn that +haunted me so when I came here in the early spring, and now you have +given me another verse of it." + +"A very beautiful one, as I know from experience. When we realise our +thronging duties are all opportunities for carrying out our Lord's +will, that it is service for Him as well as for our fellow-creatures, +we have rest at once in the midst of them." + +"Oh," said Hope; "it will make my days so easy if I remember it." + +She said little more, and they soon came to the corner where they had +to part. + +"May I come and see you?" Mrs. Dane asked. + +Hope hesitated for a moment, remembering Brian's words, and then +replied: + +"Thank you, very much. It will be very kind of you, but if it is one of +my father's bad days, and I am with him, you will understand if I do +not appear." + +"Certainly I will. Shall we waive ceremony, and will you come to tea +with me the first day you can manage it?" + +"I shall be delighted." + +When Hope entered her home, she carried such a radiant face that her +father even remarked upon it. + +"I suppose it is your good health that makes you so happy," he +remarked. "I used to be called at school 'Jolly George.' When I think +of myself in those days, and contrast them with myself now, I can +hardly believe I am the same being!" + +"No, it is something more than health," said Hope, but she could not +tell her father all that she was feeling. + +She only knew as the days went on, that in the midst of many +uncongenial duties, and more real hard work and anxious thought than +she had ever before experienced, she had a deep feeling of peace in her +heart. The realisation that every bit of her day was just carrying out +the will of God for her, brought her more than ease of mind, it brought +her keen enjoyment. + +And soon the household wheels began to run smoothly. Brian, coming +home tired at the end of his day, was conscious of home comforts and +brightness. The flowers about the house, the daintiness of the meals, +and the sparkling personality of Hope herself, all marked a strong +contrast to the struggles and failures of the time before. Hope was +naturally of a buoyant nature, and though at first the irksomeness of +her duties appalled her, when she realised that even cooking appetising +dishes for her father, mending her small brothers' clothes, and dusting +and tidying rooms were all distinctly service to the Master she was +longing to serve, those very duties became a delight to her. She was +not perfect; there were times when impatience and loss of temper gained +the day, but she gradually won the affection of all the household, and +her reign was a happy one. + + +One afternoon when her father was lying down with a bad headache, and +did not wish to be disturbed, she went over to call upon Mrs. Dane. She +found her sitting under the trees in her garden, and whilst she worked, +her son Lancelot was reading aloud to her. + +"I am so glad to see you, my dear. We are enjoying an idle hour. Do you +know my son Lancelot? He is with me again for a short time." + +"We have never met, Miss St. Clair, but I feel that I know all about +you," Lancelot said, speaking in fresh keen tones. "I think I may say +I began to know you when you first came into the cathedral that early +spring evening; do you remember?" + +"Yes," said Hope, blushing slightly. "I noticed you. I liked your +attention to your mother." + +They laughed. Mrs. Dane put her hand lightly on her son's broad +shoulder. + +"I believe," she said, with a humorous twinkle in her eyes, "that his +attention to his old mother has sometimes prevented his attention to +young people. He is considered a very unsociable being in these parts." + +"I am not a society man," Lancelot responded, drawing a lounge chair +forward for Hope to occupy. + +"Do you know, Miss St. Clair, I fancy I am acquainted with your father. +Was he not in Canada some years ago?" + +"Yes, he has only just returned home," Hope said. "Did you meet him out +there? I thought India was your country." + +"There are not many countries that I have not visited," Lancelot +replied. "I was then secretary to the Premier over there. But I did not +meet your father officially. Ask him if he remembers the buffalo at the +Red River." + +"I will. He is in such bad health now, so different from what he was." + +"Lancelot, will you tell them we will have tea out here?" + +Then, as he moved towards the house, Mrs. Dane turned to her young +guest. + +"My boys are laughed at for their love of home, but I will say in +excuse for Lancelot, that he has been away from me for fifteen long +years, and he will be going out to India again in the autumn." + +"Is he stationed there?" Hope asked. + +"Yes, he has a very good Government appointment in Calcutta. Sir Hugh +Mowbray got it for him. He was his secretary, as he told you, when he +was in Canada. But Lancelot has not had good health lately, and I wish +for many reasons that he was not going back. Well, I will not talk only +of myself and my family. How are you getting on, dear? I have been +thinking a good deal about you lately." + +"Things are going better," said Hope cheerfully. "I am daily finding +out what an ignoramus I am, and am struggling hard with cookery-books +at present. Why do they always leave out the vital point, Mrs. Dane? +They tell you that you are to mix ingredients, but never 'how!' I've +been stirring things with a spoon instead of my fingers, and 'vice +versâ.' But I turned out a delicious pudding yesterday. The only pity +was that the boys ate it up so soon!" + +Her merry laugh rang out as Lancelot returned. + +Mrs. Dane, remembering the past life that she had been leading, could +only wonder at her quick adaptability to her altered circumstances, and +then conversation took a graver turn. Lancelot began to discuss the +book he had been reading to his mother. It was extracts from some of +the modern thinkers of the day. + +Hope listened with interest. The problem of universal suffering was the +topic, that mystery of the human race which to some souls seems the key +to all that is noblest and best, to others the knell of bitterness and +despair. + +"We have been reading that the laws of compensation are not +sufficiently grasped," said Lancelot, sitting down and fastening his +keen bright eyes on Hope as he spoke. "What do you say, Miss St. Clair? +Do you ever think of these things?" + +"Yes," said Hope softly, "sometimes. But I would rather hear your +opinions than give my own. I take life too lightly, I believe. I have +not yet looked much beyond my own immediate circle." + +"It is easy to sit down comfortably and theorise upon such a subject," +said Lancelot gravely. "To a certain extent I know that a capacity +to enjoy as well as to suffer is given to every class and race. The +lower races, we know, are not so highly strung as the more civilised. +They suffer less in consequence, but I think it is encouraging +self-indulgence to wipe out our neighbours' heavy burdens with the +reflection that they do not feel them. What do you say, mother?" + +"I believe if we all shared each other's burdens, as we should, +four-fifths of the misery in the world would be saved." + +"But how can you share them?" asked Hope. "I can't go and live in a +drunkard's home, for instance, and share the misery and anxieties of a +drunkard's wife." + +"No, but you can offer her your sympathy and help, and be as anxious +and earnest about the reformation of her husband as if he belonged to +you," said Mrs. Dane. + +"I have never had anything to do with the poor," said Hope, after a +moment's silence, "and my time is too full now to take a district." + +Then she gave a little laugh. + +"You see that I cannot talk broadly on these things; I narrow them down +to my own experience." + +"Some people think that if they want to help their neighbours, they +must begin with the poor," said Lancelot smiling. "I have found in my +travels that there are quite as many burdens borne by our own class in +life as in any other." + +"Yes," said Mrs. Dane, "but how many keep their purses in their +pockets, using that plea, 'Charity begins at home.'" + +They were interrupted here by the arrival of two visitors, Hester and +Minnie Chesney, and Hope was not pleased at the interruption. Minnie +pounced upon her at once. + +"You little wretch! What do you mean by keeping us in ignorance of +your whereabouts? We only heard yesterday that you were in this part +again. We have just come home, you know. Now, you must come to our +tennis-party to-morrow without fail." + +Hope shook her head. + +"I can't, Minnie, thank you. I am not with my aunt now." + +"Aren't you? But what difference does that make? We heard from May +Fosberry that your father had come home and that you were with him." + +"Yes, I am. He is in very bad health, and my time is much occupied at +home." + +"Rubbish! You can come over to Mrs. Dane, and we are only a few miles +farther out. We shall take no excuses. Tell your father you must have +some recreation. Are you at Wistaria Lodge?" + +"Yes, but we are living very economically, and I am cooking and mending +and housekeeping all day long." + +"I don't believe you!" + +Both girls laughed, but Hester regarded Hope with serious eyes. + +"You are looking quite thin," she remarked. "What have you been doing +to yourself?" + +"And, Hope, have you heard May's last fad? She says she is going to +give up society and do something with her life. Don't you hate that +phrase? She's what the Dissenters would call 'converted,' I believe! +Now, Mrs. Dane, don't look at me with shocked eyes. I'm awfully fond of +you, but I'm not fond of your religion." + +"I wish," said Hope, slowly and emphatically, "that I was as good as +May is." + +"May is all right," Hester said abruptly; then she turned to talk to +Lancelot. + +Conversation became general, but Hope soon rose to leave. She +cheerfully but decidedly told Minnie that she could not accept her +invitation, whereupon that young lady declared that she would swoop +down upon her very soon and carry her off by force. + +"And have you not a brother? What is he doing? He is sure to like +tennis, if you don't. You must bring him with you." + +"He is at work." + +"What is he doing?" + +"I really don't know," and as she spoke, Hope hesitated. + +"Something in the City, I expect. That's what most young men say about +here," said Minnie, laughing. + + +As she walked home, Hope began to ponder over Brian. She wondered if +he ever wanted relaxation like most young men, or if he were perfectly +content to work all day, and come home at night to attend to the wants +of his household, and soothe and cheer an irritable sick man. + +"I really must make him tell me what he does. He seems so secretive +about it. I wonder if the boys know." + +Strangely enough, that very evening Jerry mentioned his brother to Hope. + +"Toby and me saw Brian in the town to-day. He has a grand time riding +about like a gentleman. I wish father would give us a pony." + +"But," said Hope, "Brian works very hard. He was only in the town on +business, I expect." + +Jerry laughed derisively. + +"Nice business! He was following an awfully smart young woman on +horseback, and enjoying himself, you bet!" + +"Hush!" said Hope. "That isn't the way to speak of Brian." + +But the boy's words surprised her. + +That evening her father retired to bed early. Sitting out with some +work in the garden, she told Brian of her visit to Mrs. Dane's. His +brows contracted sternly when he heard about the Chesneys. + +"You need not include me in any of their parties," he said somewhat +bitterly, "for I am not going near them." + +"Well, I don't think I shall go," said Hope; "I have not time. But, +Brian, I have been thinking about you to-day. I don't think your life +is natural or right. You have told me so little of what you are doing +that I do not know if you are hardworked or not, but I do know that you +never take a holiday, and even on Sunday you are away from us morning +and evening. You ought to have some relaxation in the week. Don't you +feel the need of it?" + +Brian did not answer for a moment; then he said abruptly: + +"Have you come to stay, Hope? Because if you have, I almost think I +could go back to Canada. I don't believe father would miss me. And you +seem to be getting on all right." + +Hope's heart sank within her. She hardly knew herself how much she +leant upon her younger brother for help and advice, but now the thought +of living in Kayminster without him filled her with dismay. + +"I'm glad you think I'm getting on all right," she said with her bright +laugh, "but I hide up a lot of my delinquencies from you, remember! Are +you very anxious to get back to Canada?" + +"I would stay, of course, if father really wanted me, but I'd have a +chance of getting on if I went back. You must remember Canada is more +my home than England—I know the ways of it better." + +"And do you dislike your work here very much? Brian, won't you tell me +what it is? Trust me. I will let it go no further. I know it is honest +work; you have told me so. I imagine it is horse-breeding, is it not, +with some big farmer?" + +Brian gave a short laugh. He was on his knees weeding a flower-bed. Now +he stood up and squared his shoulders, looking at his sister rather +defiantly. + +"It is for your sake that I have said nothing about it. I am not +ashamed of it, but you may be, having your grand friends all round this +part. Would you like me to tell you?" + +"Yes," said Hope quietly, "I should." + +"Then here it is. I am groom in Lord Cotes's stables." + +For one moment Hope was petrified. She had met Lord Cotes in town, +and though she had not happened to meet him when she had last been in +Kayminster, the Chesneys knew him well, and were often over at the +Hall. He lived about three miles out of Kayminster. + +"Why—why did you not tell me before?" she asked falteringly. + +"Because I did not want to see the look on your face that you have at +this moment. You, need not be afraid. I have left out the 'Saint' in +my name, and he does not associate Brian Clair, the second groom, with +Miss Hope St. Clair, a Society beauty!" + +"Oh, Brian, don't be so bitter! I am not—not ashamed—but I'm sorry for +you, that you should be in such a position. What made you do it?" + +"Necessity, and perhaps inclination. I am fond of horses and really +understand them. I got the job, remember, before you came to us." + +"And you want to give it up?" + +"You won't be so loth to let me go now that you know what my billet is!" + +"I don't care what it is!" Hope cried impulsively. "I shall miss you +immensely, but if it is for your good, I will, of course, try to get +on without you. Why, Brian!"—her eyes brightened as she turned them on +him—"I admire you intensely for your pluck and unselfishness. I only +wish I were half as plucky myself!" + +Brian heaved a sigh. He seemed relieved at having made a clean breast +of it. + +"I could not dangle round doing nothing!" he said. "And father does not +know. I don't believe he would mind if he did. But I've been afraid of +being recognised by you when I've been riding about. I know what you +feel. And, of course, I'm making nothing by my job—only just supporting +myself." + +"I don't know about that," said Hope. "You have given me a good bit +towards the housekeeping." + +After further talk, she promised to discuss his leaving for Canada with +her father; but when she was alone in her room that night, her courage +almost failed her. + +Brian did not know the struggle and strain of her daily life. Her +very unfitness for it, owing to her lack of training in economy and +usefulness, made it much more laborious than it need have been. Brian, +returning after the day's work had been done, did not realise how +exhausting it was to both mind and body, and Hope prided herself upon +not enlightening him. + +Yet as she leant out of her window as usual to hear the midnight chimes +of the cathedral, she repeated to herself the verse that was her +comfort through it all: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, by thronging duties press'd? + To do the will of Jesus, this is rest.'" + + + +Chapter VIII + +HOPE'S CHOICE + +"FATHER, do you remember the buffalo at the Red River?" + +Hope was walking the next day with her father through the meadows by +the river's bank when she asked this question. + +Mr. St. Clair looked at her in astonishment; then gave a short laugh. + +"Yes, I shall not forget it. Who has been talking to you about it?" + +"Mr. Dane. He was secretary to the Premier of Canada some years ago, +and said he met you out there." + +"Lance Dane! I'd no idea he was in these parts. A fine fellow. I owe +him my life." + +"Do tell me about it. He gave me no particulars." + +"I was camping out by myself by the river; there was only one bit of +beach just where I was. On the opposite side were straight cliffs over +a hundred feet in height. And one day a hunted buffalo came right down +upon me, crashing through my tent and awakening me from a midday nap. +I could not get at my rifle in time, and had to fly. He chased me down +to the water's edge. I felt his hot breath on my back, and without a +thought plunged into the river to escape him. He did not attempt to +follow me, but stood on the bank, stamping and bellowing with fury. +And I found pretty soon that I was trapped. I could not swim across, +for I could get no foothold the other side; lower down the river were +rapids, and there was no landing for miles the upper end. So there I +was swimming about, and saw no chance of being released!" + +"How dreadful! I wonder you did not get the cramp!" + +"I was in the water a pretty long time, and then, as I was at the end +of my tether, your friend came on the scene. He had been tracking the +buffalo, and put a bullet into him which finished him. I saw the brute +drop, but I was so exhausted by my long wait that I couldn't get to +shore, so young Dane swam out and towed me in. I should like to see him +again. We camped together for a week after that." + +"He will be glad to come and see you," said Hope confidently. + +She often wished that her father had friends of his own. A few people +had called upon them, but had never been asked inside. Mr. St. Clair +always said he was not well enough to see visitors. + +Then she introduced the topic that was so much in her thoughts. + +"Father, would you miss Brian much if he went back to Canada?" + +Mr. St. Clair looked genuinely surprised. + +"Has he told you he wants to return?" he asked quickly. + +"He thinks he would get on better out there, and I expect he would, if +we can make up our minds to spare him." + +"The question is," said her father slowly, "are you prepared to look +after the small boys and stay with me, or will you be wanting to return +to your aunt?" + +Hope was silent for a moment. In the quietness of her own room the +night before, she had seen that Brian's emancipation meant her complete +absorption into her father's family. The conflicting claims of aunt +and father clashed together, and she seemed unable to decide which +claim was to come uppermost. She glanced at her father now; she noted +the weary stoop in his shoulders, the nervous, restless hands, and the +worn, faded eyes; his hand was leaning heavily on her arm, and his +steps as faltering and unsteady as a man ten years his senior. Then she +said softly and decidedly: + +"I will stay with you, father, as long as you want me." + +And she realised, as she said it, that she was renouncing a life of +luxury and ease for that of constant anxiety, hard work, and struggle +to make both ends meet. + +"I must write to Aunt Gertrude and explain it to her," was her inward +resolve. + +"If that is the case," said Mr. St. Clair, "we can let Brian go. I +will have a talk with him to-night. He is a good lad, but a trifle +too sedate for his years. When I think of myself at his age, I wonder +at him; but he will be better than his father, who is nothing but a +failure." + +"I won't have you say that," said Hope cheerily. "It is your health +that cripples you now, and we are hoping that that will improve." + +When they returned home, Hope saw a motor standing outside the gate. +Anne met her with a beaming face. + +"A gentleman friend of yours, miss," she said, already scenting out +romance. "He's in the draw'n'-room, please, and his name is Horrocks." + +"It's only Jim, father," said Hope, relief in her tone. "You won't mind +him, I am sure; he's a very nice young fellow, and knows Brian and +likes him." + +"I'll go to my room," her father said irritably; "I don't want your +London visitors here, and won't see them. You can send my supper up to +me. What does he want here?" + +"He has only just called to see me, I expect," said Hope. + +And then she went into the drawing-room, feeling her natural pleasure +at seeing one of her old friends damped by her father's tone. + +Jim Horrocks was seated in her father's easy chair; Jerry and Toby, +home from school, were entertaining him. + +He sprang up as Hope entered. + +"Ah!" he said, as he shook hands with her. "I have been hearing +astonishing histories of your ambitious efforts in the domestic line. +I'm surprised to see you so like yourself. I expected to find you a +Cinderella amongst the cinders." + +Hope looked down at her spotlessly clean linen gown, and then up at him +with a laugh. + +"I'm so glad to see you. You're a bit of such a different life. I hope +you have given me a good character, boys!" + +Toby grinned. + +"We told him what your first cake was like!" he said. + +"He's been asking a million questions about you," asserted Jerry +eagerly, "and some of them we've answered quite truthfully." + +"I wasn't born yesterday, you young ruffian!" said Jim easily. "And I +knew Hope long before you did, so have got the advantage of you." + +"Go and wash your hands and make yourselves tidy for tea," said Hope. + +And as the boys rushed noisily from the room, she turned to meet Jim's +gaze fixed critically upon her. + +"I'm going to be quite frank," he said. "I am a spy, and a willing one. +Your aunt has begged me to look you up and let her know how things are +going with you. And I should say, from my informers' remarks, that you +have been having a pretty rough time." + +"No, not exactly that," replied Hope. + +"Aren't you tired of poverty?" said Jim. "You see I'm pretty outspoken. +Your aunt is soon returning to town, and she wants to find you there to +welcome her." + +"Ah!" said Hope, with a quick-drawn breath. "That will never be, I am +afraid." + +"Your father is not exerting his parental authority to keep you here?" + +"No, oh no! I am a free agent, but my place is here, Jim; and for many +reasons, though I'm sorry to leave Aunt Gertrude, I'm not sorry to +leave society." + +"I hate that word 'society,'" said Jim. "What does it mean? You haven't +left society, for you can have that here." + +"My father will see no one; he refuses to see you, Jim." + +"May I say, 'all the better'?" + +The door opened, and Anne appeared. + +"Please, miss, is the gentleman stoppin' to supper?" + +"Of course I am," said Jim promptly, and Anne withdrew giggling. + +Hope laughed out her merry laugh of old. + +"There!" she said. "Now you see our one treasured domestic. Let us come +into the dining-room; you must be longing to have some food if you have +motored from town." + +[Illustration: "HOPE, YOU ARE CHANGED," JIM SAID, SUDDENLY.] + +Jim Horrocks made the evening meal a very bright one. But busy as his +tongue was, his eyes were busier. He saw Hope in a new light, and +contrasting her present homely sphere with the brilliant one in town, +he came to the conclusion—man-like—that this was where she shone. + +Hope looked after her small brothers, ran up and down stairs to her +father, then settled the boys to their lessons, and paced round the +garden with Jim. + +"Brian will be late home to-night," she said to him. "I should like you +to wait and see him. He gets so few chances here of talking to any men." + +"Hope, you are changed." + +Jim said this suddenly. + +"Yes," Hope said quietly; "I am, in my interests and aims." + +"What has changed you?" + +"Religion—God, I will rather say. I see life quite differently now from +what I did." + +"Is it a passing phase of sentiment?" + +"I hope not—I know it is not." + +Jim gave a little sigh. + +Hope looked at him. + +"Oh, Jim, I wish you would read your Bible!" + +He gave a little start, then laughed. + +"Are you going to preach?" + +"Yes, if you will listen for five minutes." + +Jim took out his watch and held it in his hand. + +"I'm all attention." + +Hope plunged into the subject which was now so absorbing to her. + +"Canon FitzRoy made me begin to think. Have you begun, Jim? Life is +not given to us to fritter away. We shall be held responsible if we +do. We believe in God, but we don't believe that we belong to Him, +not only because He created us, but because we have been redeemed +from the devil's power by Christ's death on the cross. And when we +understand this, when we give up ourselves to God's service, and look +to Him for guidance and help and strength through our daily life, it +makes everything so different. And it gives one peace. Peace about our +past sins which are forgiven, and our present life, and our future in +the other world. There, Jim, it doesn't take long to tell, but I mean +every word of it, and I'm longing that every one I know should have my +experience." + +Jim Horrocks shook his head slowly at her as she finished speaking. + +"I'm sorry, but your words are perfectly meaningless to me. I've heard +them before, a thousand times, but they convey nothing to my mind." + +Hope's face fell, then she said slowly: + +"You'll never understand till you get a craving for peace. And then +when it comes, it is just like a new life." + +"I never thought," said Jim irrelevantly, "that you would adapt +yourself to this kind of life so easily. Why did you always say that +you could never face poverty?" + +Hope smiled. + +"It isn't half bad," she said. "I'm happy enough, except when I think +about Aunt Gertrude. She has still a big bit of my heart." + +"She is bringing your substitute to town with her." + +"Oh, I'm so glad. I hope she is a nice girl. That will interest Aunt +Gertrude, I know!" + +Jim did not stay to meet Brian; he said he had to start back for town +early. His visit did Hope good. She wondered after he had gone why she +felt it so much easier to talk to Jim than to Brian, and she wished the +latter was a little less reserved and silent. But this evening, when +she told him of the conversation she had had with her father, Brian +became quite eager and talkative. + +"I have a chance of going back the beginning of next month," he said. +"I know the captain of an emigrant ship, and he said he would give me +a cabin to myself for half-fare. He's an awfully decent chap. You'll +be all right with father, won't you? You see, he's ever so much better +now. Not half so cranky and queer as he was when we first arrived in +England." + +"Yes, I think he is taking more interest in things; he talks of +fishing. I wish he would take up something like that." + +Hope did not let Brian see that her heart sank at the prospect before +her. She felt convinced in her own mind that he was best out in Canada, +and perhaps his present employment furthered his cause. It was only +natural that Hope should feel a great distaste for the position in +which he had put himself. Though she honoured him for being willing to +take service in a place near his father, so that he should not be an +expense to him and at the same time be able to look after him, yet, +girl-like, she dreaded her friends meeting her brother in his guise as +groom. + +Mr. St. Clair talked over everything with his son that night, and Brian +went to bed for the first time with a hopeful heart. His spirits rose +at once, and for the next few days he seemed like a different being. + +Hope got the following note from Jim Horrocks soon after he had left +her: + + "MY DEAR HOPE,—The spy has reported the land to your good aunt, and +I told her my certain conviction that cart-horses would not drag you +away at present from your 'sphere of usefulness.' Have you not heard +that expression from the lips of 'good' people? You see how apt I am at +catching it from them! Well, if I were your father and brothers rolled +into one, I would stick to you like a burr! And I have told your aunt +so. I also told her I was quite willing to motor down every now and +then and report to her your progress. So expect me to arrive any day! + + "Yours, + + "JIM." + +Hope sat down on the strength of this epistle and wrote a long letter +to her aunt. + +Mrs. Daubeney was not a good correspondent, so Hope was not +disappointed at hearing very seldom from her, but this time her letter +was answered by return of post. + + "MY DEAREST HOPE,—I am returning to town next week. I quite believe all +you say, but Brian has no business to transfer his responsibility to +you, and tell him from me I shall be extremely angry if he goes back +to Canada and leaves you alone. You are not fit to have charge of that +household. We shall be having you ill next. I am glad you have the +consolation of religion to cheer you, but I do not think that I need it +at present. Eva is being much admired, and I am going to take her on a +round of visits in the autumn. We go to the Campbells in Scotland about +the first week in September, and we are going to be in the hands of the +dressmaker whilst we are in town. Give your father my love, and much to +yourself. I am glad he is better in health. Your affectionate aunt,— + + "GERTRUDE." + +Hope mused over this letter with a little sadness in her eyes. She had +poured out her heart to her aunt in her last letter, telling her of the +change in her inmost soul, and this was the reply. + +"Aunt Gertrude does not really miss me, and I ought to feel glad that +she does not. It makes it easier for me." + +She repeated this assertion over and over to herself, and went about +her household tasks with her usual serenity. + + + +Chapter IX + +A HOLIDAY + +ONE afternoon Lancelot Dane came to see her father. + +Hope was sitting out in the garden reading the "Times" to Mr. St. +Clair. She was delighted to see her father welcome his visitor with +more warmth of manner than he had ever shown towards any one before. +And after a few desultory remarks, she got up and left them together. + +Half an hour later, she, assisted by Anne, brought out tea upon the +lawn, and she heard with pleasure her father's hearty laugh as he +talked with Lancelot. When she joined them, the latter turned at once +and included her in the conversation. + +"I am going to take your father fishing to-morrow, Miss St. Clair. +Will you spare him for the day? Did he tell you that we did a week of +camping out together once in Canada?" + +"Yes," said Hope; "I have heard how you rescued him from the buffalo. I +am sure fishing will do him good." + +Mr. St. Clair shook his head doubtfully. + +"I will try it, but it will be an experiment," he said. + +"Will you join us at lunch, Miss St. Clair?" asked Lancelot in his keen +quick tone. "You look as if you want a day out." + +Hope seemed for a minute as if she were going to say yes. Then she +remembered her small brothers. + +"No," she said, stifling a sigh, "I must give the boys their early +dinner and see them off to school." + +"Let them dine alone for once; it will do them good." + +Mr. St. Clair looked at his daughter thoughtfully. + +"I think the day out would do you good," he said; "you had better come." + +"Perhaps I might. I could trust the boys for once." + +The longing in her eyes touched her father. + +"You young people want diversion sometimes," he said. "I'm afraid you +miss your gaiety now." + +Hope turned away. The extraordinary kindness of her father's tone +brought the tears to her eyes, and she would not let them be seen. + +One quick comprehensive look Lancelot gave her, then he said lightly: + +"Very well, we will consider it settled that you come to look after us, +Miss St. Clair, and I will call here to-morrow at ten o'clock, if that +time will suit." + +"It will be delicious," said Hope impulsively; and she told Brian later +that she was going "to have her day out." + +"I feel like Anne did when she departed last Thursday. She said to me, +'I means to be a lady for the day!'" + + +The next day was bright and sunny. The boys vowed they would be perfect +saints at dinner-time; and at half-past ten Hope, with a radiant face, +was walking along the buttercup meadows between her father and Lancelot +Dane. She chatted unreservedly to the latter. + +Her father was in one of his silent moods, and when they came to the +river, soon fixed upon his spot and got out his rod. Lancelot sauntered +further on. + +"And now I mustn't speak to either of you till lunch-time," said Hope +to him. "I know what fishermen are like. And I shall be quite as +absorbed in my book that I have brought with me, and my thoughts, as +either of you are with your fish. And I think I shall choose that tree +for my resting-place." + +"Capital! We will have lunch under its shade. You wouldn't like to have +a line yourself? I have a second rod with me." + +"No, thank you. I have never had sufficient practice to be a good +fisherwoman. Besides, I don't like the moment when the fish are +wriggling on the hook. I wish violent deaths were not necessary in the +world. Why should not everything live its allotted time and die of old +age?" + +"It would be more cruel in some cases," said Lancelot promptly. "They +would die of lingering starvation—no teeth or claws to kill their prey, +and no one to attend to their needs." + +"But they need have no prey. Could we not live without preying upon +each other?" + +"We could be vegetarians; but apply that to carnivorous animals, and +I fancy their strength and beauty and intelligence would suffer in +consequence. We can't turn the world into the millennium before its +time, you know." + +"Do you believe in a millennium?" + +"Do not you?" + +"I know so little of these things," said Hope, with a deprecating shake +of her head. + +"So do most of us, but we get the outlines given to us in the Bible." + +"I wish you would tell me some of them. But not now. I shall interrupt +your sport." + +He smiled, and watched her walk away with her easy grace to the old +oak-tree a short distance off. And then he turned to his fishing with a +little contraction of brow. + +Hope, seated under the shady tree, looked out that summer morning upon +the beauties of nature with a keen sense of enjoyment. The murmur of +the river in front of her, with all the wonderful lights and shadows +from the fleeting clouds above, the rich golden sheen of the cornfield +on the slope of the hills, the graceful droop of the willows by the +water's edge, and the green meadows around her with the cows lazily +munching as they moved to and fro, all combined to form a picture that +remained in her memory for years to come. She did not read, but closing +her eyes gave herself up to the bliss of meditation, and the rarity of +such leisure in the morning intensified the delight she felt at it now. + +She was startled at last by her father's voice. + +"What! No lunch? Look at my luck!" + +He opened his basket and showed a handsome trout weighing quite three +pounds, and a few smaller ones besides. Then Lancelot Dane found them, +but he had not been so fortunate. He insisted upon helping Hope to +unpack the luncheon-basket. + +"It is my place to wait on you, not yours to wait on me," he said; "I +have nothing to show for my morning's efforts, so ought to work for my +lunch." + +"I have nothing to show for my morning," said Hope; "for it has only +benefited me. How I have enjoyed it!" + +Mr. St. Clair had also enjoyed himself. Hope had not seen her father so +bright for a long time. + +"I have heard a London physician say," said Lancelot, when Mr. St. +Clair mentioned his health, "that a few hours spent every day in pure +country air would do more for his patients than tons of medicine and +special diet." + +"Yes, but it is an expensive cure for many," said Mr. St. Clair. "I am +talking of breadwinners, of course. That is why the colonies do so much +for our young fellows. But there comes a time when fresh air will do +nothing for you." + +Gloom settled upon his face again, and Hope turned the conversation +quickly upon the different species of trout. + + +Luncheon over, Mr. St. Clair, encouraged by his success, went back to +his sport. Lancelot stayed where he was, under the oak-tree, and asked +permission to smoke a pipe. + +Unconsciously Hope began to tell him a good deal about herself; he +invited confidence. And she gave details of her past London life, as +well as her present one. They found they had several mutual friends in +town, and presently Lancelot said: + +"I suppose you have a good many friends, have you not? What do they say +to your sudden disappearance from society?" + +"I don't know that I have very many real friends," Hope said +thoughtfully. "I suppose I could number them on my five fingers. And +time and absence will reduce them. It always does." + +"Are you given to making sudden friendships?" + +"No, I do not think I am. How would you define a friend, Mr. Dane?" + +He was silent. For a moment his eyes rested on her with deep thought, +then he said: + +"A friend is some one who comes into our life to stay there." + +"I suppose so. That is what one would wish." + +"After such a definition, do you think it premature of me to propose +that you and I should become friends?" + +If Hope was a little startled, it was only because Lancelot Dane was +such a different stamp of man from most of her acquaintances. Such a +speech did not seem like him. + +She tried to answer lightly. + +"We are friends already, I think. I cannot regard you as otherwise, +when I know at one time you saved my father's life." + +"Friends for all time?" + +She looked at him, and for an instant their eyes met. In that moment, +with a quick-caught breath, Hope realised that this quiet man, with his +resolute face, was going to dominate her being. It was no idle talk +with him. He seemed to be weighing every word he spoke. Turning her +face away towards the flowing river, she said very gently: + +"Yes." + +Lancelot rose to his feet, and took a few quick turns up and down the +meadow before he spoke again. + +"Will you smile if I tell you something? You remember the first time +you came into the cathedral? We were perfect strangers. I had never +seen you before, but I had an intuition then that I should see you +again, that I should speak to you, that I should know one day the cause +of the trouble that was upon your face—may I say the tears that you +shed in that dark corner of yours?" + +Hope looked up genuinely astonished. + +"How observant you must be! I was very unhappy that afternoon, but it +was a turning-point in my life. And the hymn I heard sung so sweetly +was what helped me and stayed with me. Do you remember it—'Peace, +perfect peace'? I feel it has woven itself into my life. I am living in +the second verse now." + +"It is my mother's favourite hymn. I know it well. I learnt it as a boy +to please her." + +He stood still, looking down upon her, until Hope felt nervous under +his gaze, and rather abruptly suggested that she should join her +father. Lancelot acquiesced, and accompanied her further down the +river. Just before they joined Mr. St. Clair, he said: + +"And now, Miss St. Clair, whilst I am in England I want to claim a +friend's privileges. Will you send for me when your father wants a +cheery chat? If you want help at any time with those youngsters, will +you turn to me? If you have any commissions or messages to friends +in town, will you let me take them? You see, I mean to prove my +genuineness." + +"You are very kind. Are you soon returning to India?" + +"In another six weeks or so. I must tell you that my mother is very +anxious that I should give up my appointment out there. We have a small +property in the North of England which has been let for a number of +years, but the tenant has just died, and things want looking into. Her +great desire is that I should settle there myself, and I know she would +love to return to it, for it is the house in which we boys spent our +childhood and in which my father died. But I feel I am not old enough +yet to retire into such a life of ease. I want to be in the battle of +life, not in a backwater. And my mother's reason and judgment are with +me in this, if her heart is against the Indian life." + +"I suppose it is not a large enough property to employ you there?" + +"Not unless I dismiss our agent; and he has been working for us all his +life, so I could not." + +No more was said. Hope did not leave her father till it was time to +return home, but as they separated, Lancelot took her hand in his. + +"Goodbye, Miss St. Clair. We have made a covenant of friendship to-day, +remember! The future will hold us to it." + +He smiled as he spoke, and Hope found it an effort to respond as +lightly as she wished. + +"A new friend is always welcome," she said, "especially in Kayminster." + +But as she turned into the house, she took herself to task with some +severity for the rapid beating of her heart. + + + +Chapter X + +HESTER'S BEES + +"YOU will excuse my coming at this hour of the morning, but I am on +my way home from the station, where I have been seeing mother off to +town. And I want you to come back and spend the day with me. I have no +attractions to offer you except my bees. Minnie is in Scotland. Will +you come and keep me company for the day?" + +It was Hester Chesney, who spoke from her high dog-cart, and Hope stood +on the doorstep looking at her with wistful eyes. + +"I can't have too many holidays," she said, with a little laugh. "I +spent a day out fishing, only last Wednesday. I'm afraid I can't come. +I'm helping my brother pack for Canada. He is going the end of this +week." + +"He will spare you for a day. You are looking white and fagged. Ask +him. I want to talk to you." + +If it had been Minnie Chesney, Hope would have found no difficulty +in refusing, for she knew the talk would be of the very lightest +description, but there was something about Hester that always made Hope +want to know her better. She turned back into the house and sought +Brian, who was in the dining-room packing a case of books he wanted to +take with him. + +"Brian, would you mind if I left you to-day? I feel, when you are gone, +I shall be absolutely tied to home, so this will be my last chance. +Miss Chesney wants me to spend the day with her. I shall not stay late. +They will drive me back in time for supper. I won't go if you want me." + +"Oh, go," said Brian, trying to speak graciously. "I'm sure you ought +to get the chance if you want it. I'll be here all day." + +So a short time afterwards Hope was bowling along the country roads in +her friend's high dog-cart. + +"I wonder if you would mind paying a visit with me," Hester said. "I +want to see a Miss Rill, who really started me with my bees. She's an +interesting woman, though only a farmer's daughter, and I think you +will like to see her little place. It is such a pretty one." + +"I shall be delighted. How good it is to get out of the town! Sometimes +I wish we lived in the genuine country. Kayminster is neither country +nor town." + +"You rather interest me," said Hester, in her slow deep voice. "I +have been likening you in my mind to a certain foreign lily we had in +one of our hothouses, and which I was convinced would do better in +the open-air. It was transplanted, and for a time it caused me some +anxiety, for though it fought bravely with its changed circumstances, +we had some unusual storms and it nearly succumbed. After an awful +night of wind and rain, I visited it early in the morning, and to my +supreme satisfaction, though it was very battered, it was raising its +head cheerfully towards the sun." + +There was silence. Hope's lips were smiling, but her eyes were misty. +Then she touched Hester's hand caressingly. + +"Thank you for your little parable. I will remember it." + +"Do you know anything about bees?" Hester said abruptly. + +"No, I'm an absolute ignoramus. Tell me about them." + +Hester plunged into her hobby, which by her very enthusiasm she made +intensely interesting to the town girl beside her. + +And by and by, after a drive of some eight miles, they came to their +destination. Hester turned up a narrow lane from the highroad, then +drove into a field along a rough cart track, and stopped at a white +gate the other side of it. Hope uttered an exclamation of delight. +There was a red-brick flagged path leading up from the gate to a +quaint old-fashioned cottage. On either side of the brick path were +low apple-trees interspersed with clumps of dahlias and summer +chrysanthemums, forming a border up to the old green wooden porch. The +house was of rough stone with a red-tiled roof, now mossy and mellowed +with age. A row of beehives was in front of it, and its walls were +covered with climbing roses. + +Hester left her trap outside, tying her horse to the gatepost, and she +and Hope walked up the little path. To the right and left of them was +a green orchard, and fowls seemed to be in all directions. A row of +fowl-houses and coops ran the whole length of the orchard at the back. + +"It is a small poultry-farm," explained Hester. "Miss Rill is +wonderfully successful with it, and she has worked it entirely herself, +with a farm lad to help. She has made such a success of it that she is +going to retire, and is wanting me to buy the whole concern from her. +I wish I could. I have visions of moving myself and belongings into +it, and having my bees in the orchard. But they're dead against it at +home. She will sell the whole for a mere song. I would like to take up +poultry." + +"What a pity you cannot," said Hope sympathetically. "I should love to +live in a little place like this. It looks a perfect haven of rest. +What a charming old well by the side of the cottage!" + +"Yes, isn't it a picture? And the water is so good. The fact is, Minnie +will not be at home much longer. Her affair with Herbie Aubyn is coming +on again. I shall be the only one left to look after mother, and you +can't fancy her living in an ideal cottage like this!" + +They had reached the door, which stood partly open, and Miss Rill +came out to greet them. She was a little fresh-faced woman, though +her forehead was lined and puckered with many a wrinkle; thick grey +hair rolled back from her forehead, and her eyes were full of the most +remarkable wistfulness. Her skirts were short; a big blue print apron +covered her; but she looked, as Hope remarked afterwards, as if she had +stepped out of a bandbox. + +She shook hands with them, and ushered them into her sitting-room. Hope +looked about her with interested eyes. There was a tiny square space +inside the front door and a steep flight of stairs facing it. To the +right was the sitting-room, a very fair-sized room with low long window +and deep window-seat. I It was plainly furnished. Two old oak cupboards +stood on each side of the fireplace, and a round table in the centre +of the room. A horsehair sofa against the wall, a glass bookcase, two +shelves of china, and a few odd chairs, completed the furniture. But +everything was spotlessly clean and bright. + +Seeing Hope's admiration in her eyes, Miss Rill asked her if she would +like to look over the house. She took her into the kitchen the other +side of the passage, and this was the picture of cosy comfort. A +beautiful old oak dresser, a grandfather clock, and an old oak bureau +were evidently relics of Miss Rill's farmhouse home. There were copper +and brass pans which shone like burnished gold. The deal table was +scoured as white as if it were new. The red-brick floor, with the +coloured rug before the blazing fire, and a row of scarlet geraniums in +the window, gave a tone of brightness and colour to the room. + +"Oh," exclaimed Hope, "this is where I should like to spend my days!" + +"Yes," said Miss Rill, with a smile, "it is a nice room to my liking. +But I'm out of doors half my days, and the other half goes in cooking +and cleaning. I have a woman twice a week to help me, and my lad is +useful, but it is a busy life, when all's said and done." + +"You are looking forward to a rest?" said Hester. + +Miss Rill gave a dubious smile. + +"I'm going to enjoy the 'fruit of my labour,'" she said. "Isn't that +Bible words? Now let me show you my dairy, and then my four bedrooms." + +The dairy was perfection in Hope's eyes. The bedrooms, though with +sloping roofs, were wonderfully light and airy. Then the little woman +insisted upon giving them a glass of milk and some of her home-made +cake. Hester and she began to talk about bees, and Hope sat still and +lapsed into daydreams. Presently she caught the word "London." + +"All my life," said Miss Rill, "I've longed to see it. And these five +years gone, I feel as I've been linked with it, so to speak, supplying +it with eggs and poultry and honey. You know, I send straight to the +Army and Navy Stores, Miss Chesney. My brother was one of the foremen +there before he died, and he got me the connection. That's how I've +done so well. Now I'm going to walk in its streets and live like a lady +in it." + +"But," said Hope, "how will you be able to adapt yourself to town life +after this? How can you leave this? You will feel lost there!" + +"Not at all," responded Miss Rill. "I'm an educated woman, and +can appreciate all that London has to give me. I will visit +picture-galleries, and read the latest books, and have a sitting in +Westminster Abbey itself if the sermons there are to my taste." + +Hope tried not to smile. + +"And," Miss Rill continued, with increased earnestness, "there will +be shops, and dressmakers, if I want to be amused; and perhaps a very +choice concert, and a sight of the King and Queen. I've thought it all +out. It's the dream of my life coming true." + +The passionate ring of her tons seemed quite pathetic to Hope. + +Then as Hester took her leave, she accompanied them down to the garden +gate. + +Hester paused there, and looked back at the house. + +"It is the dream of my life to come here," she said. "I wonder if I +ever will? Have you heard of any purchaser yet?" + +"No, not yet. They say it's too far from the station. Smart farmers +laugh at my donkey-cart, but it has been quite sufficient for me. I'm +in a hurry to get it off my hands before the winter comes on. I'd let +it go very cheap, Miss Chesney." + +"Yes, I know." + +Miss Rill looked up her flagged path to her cottage, then she tapped +the bricks gently with her foot. + +"It isn't as if I shall be alone in London," she said softly. "And if I +can be buried in the London cemetery with him, we'll be close together +on the Resurrection Day. You understand, Miss Chesney, don't you?" + +"Indeed I do. But you may meet him alive and well." + +"No, I'm not desirous of doing so. I can explain in the next world. +That will satisfy me." + +Hope was mystified. The soft light in Miss Rill's faded blue eyes +and the hush of her voice transformed her at once from an ordinary +countrywoman into an interesting personality. + +When they were in the dog-cart again, Hope turned to her friend. + +"I scent a romance. Do tell me." + +Hester smiled. + +"Poor little woman! It was only the other day she confided in me, and +having once broken the ice, she now alludes to it whenever we meet each +other. It was many years ago. Quite twenty, I think she told me. A +certain Robert Manners, farming with his father, wanted to marry her, +and she was foolish. She fancied that another man, a country solicitor, +was courting her, and though her heart was with Robert, her ambition +told her that the solicitor would raise her in the social scale. So she +refused the substance for the shadow. The solicitor never proposed to +her, but married some one else; and though Robert remained faithful, +her pride would not let her yield to him. + +"She explained at some length to me that she would not have him think +that she accepted him as a last resource. The poor man was desperately +in love with her. He lived only half a mile away, and spent all his +leisure time in helping her with her poultry. At last, he grew restless +and gave up his farming, going up to London to join an uncle in the +bookselling trade. + +"The last day he was at home, he spent in planning a surprise for her. +She was away at market, and he brought over a load of bricks, and +with his own hands flagged that little path for her. She had often +complained of the mud and wet in winter time. When she came home, she +found it done, and a note on the doorstep with these words only: + +"'When you tread your garden path you will be treading on rejected +love.' + +"The poor thing sobbed as she repeated these words to me. I am sure she +expects to meet him in London, but she won't admit it. Her whole life +lately has been spent in saving for this object." + +"Poor woman! What a pathetic romance! I should not like to tread that +path so often." Hope's eyes filled with tenderness. + +Hester glanced at her and smiled. + +"Ah, well, she has an object in life. No one is really unhappy who has +that." + +"You are a delightful person to talk to, for you give food for +thought," said Hope, in her bright tone. "Is that the reason of so many +people's 'ennui,' I wonder?" + +"Don't you think it is? A life without an object is so pitiful, so +animal, if you understand the expression." + +"I am thinking over all my friends and acquaintances—myself included. +But I have known some very unhappy people who certainly have had an +object in their lives. They have striven for it relentlessly and +untiringly, but it has not made them happy." + +"But it has given or maintained zest for life, has it not? I think +the saddest part of a woman's life is when she sees nothing in front +of her, and can only look back. Then she doesn't care if she lives or +dies." + +Some hidden passion in Hester's tone set Hope wondering. They did +not speak much for the rest of the drive. Hester was a good hostess, +and Hope took herself to task for the enjoyment she felt at being +once again in luxurious surroundings. It seemed so much more natural +to sit down to a dainty luncheon, and then to rest in the soft +cushioned chairs in the pretty drawing-room, and talk of books and +topics of the day, than to be absorbed with Anne's black fingermarks +on dinner-plates, the boys' worn stockings, or upon the butcher's or +baker's weekly books. + +Then Hester took her out to her bees, and here Hope was interested at +once. + +Hester had been allowed to take possession of one of the old walled +kitchen gardens; here in rows against the sunny south wall were her +beehives. She had houses for storing and packing the honey, and the old +garden was filled with borders of flowers. + +"It is such an interesting study to discover the flowers that the bees +love best. They don't always go to those we should think the sweetest +and the most luscious. They are very fond of blue as a colour, and my +mignonette border also is always full of them. You see I have an ideal +spot for them. Clover fields outside, and a wild bit of moor upon which +they find broom and gorse and heather and pines; then they visit our +other kitchen garden for herbs and vegetables. They are fond of turnips +and cabbages, borage and wild thyme." + +"I always fancied bees visited flowers only." + +"Oh no; there are certain trees that they need. The willows by the +river are good for them. Now as the autumn begins, I shall have to +start feeding them. Did you ever notice that most of our autumn flowers +are scentless?" + +"I suppose they are," Hope said, running over in her mind's eye the +tribes of asters, dahlias, and chrysanthemums, with a variety of them +that occurred to her. + +"The time for getting honey is over," said Hester, "so the scent is not +needed." + +"But," said Hope, "I like to think that the sweet-smelling flowers are +for us as well as for the bees." + +Hester laughed. + +"I look at life now from my bees' point of view," she said. + +And then she took Hope into her packinghouses and showed her the cases +of honey that she had taken quite lately from the hives. + +"I send these up to London," she explained. "The sale helps my +expenses." + +"Oh," said Hope, as they were leaving the garden, "what a wholesome +sweet life you lead, Hester, amongst your bees and flowers! How +fascinating it must be! And why do so many girls prefer the rush and +stir of town life to the rest and peace of the country?" + +"Well," said Hester slowly, "I don't know how it will look when +the accounts of one's life are jotted up. I shall not rest my head +comfortably for the last time on my pillow remembering the total sum of +my pounds of honey. It would be rather a poor harvest for a lifetime, +would it not?" + +"Hester, do you want what I did?" + +Hope spoke impulsively, adding quickly: + +"Don't stop me,—don't say you don't believe in it!—that it is +sentiment, fanaticism, or fancy. It makes life worth living, it gives +one a deep undercurrent of peace, and opens up such a wide range of +possibilities for a fuller, more abundant life!" + +"You little enthusiast!" + +Hester stopped by the old garden gate in the wall and stood looking at +Hope with a smile upon her face. + +"Yes, I know you think it is enthusiasm. Do let me tell you what a +difference it has made to me. I have no one to talk to at home. I feel +you are sympathetic. I have never forgotten the way you spoke of May +Fosberry. 'She is all right,' you said, and if she is, why shouldn't we +all be like her?" + +"Ah, why?" said Hester, with a twinkle of humour in her eye. "But +May is young, and like you, full of enthusiasm. I have lived longer +in the world, and seen the end of some phases of life as well as the +beginnings." + +"I am certain," said Hope stoutly, "that you have never seen the end of +any one individual. I'm very ignorant and inexperienced, but I know, +like Job, that 'my Redeemer liveth.' It is not a dead Christ we serve, +and He will never fail or come to an end if 'phases,' as you call them, +will. He came to give life more abundantly, Hester, and I know He has +given it to me." + +Hester opened the garden gate. + +"What a pity your brother is going away," she remarked. "Shall I ever +be able to tear you away from your family again?" + +"I don't know. Yes, I shall miss Brian dreadfully. Do you know he is +the first really unselfish young man that I have seen! I am lost in +admiration sometimes. He never seems to think of what he would like or +wish, only what others would." + +"That sort are rare," remarked Hester. + +She kissed Hope upon parting. + +"You would shine in any circle," she said, smiling, "for you can fit +yourself into any kind of corner." + +"But a circle has no corners," said Hope, with her merry laugh. +"Goodbye. You must come and see me next, if you will." + + + +Chapter XI + +TROUBLE + +"IS everything packed, Hope?" + +"I think so. Oh, Brian, what shall I do without you? I'm afraid we +shall all miss you terribly?" + +"You will manage. Father seems ever so much better. He has been quite +humorous to-night. I never knew him talk so much before!" + +"He is excited about your going away. I thought he looked very flushed +at supper-time. Yes, I dare say I shall manage. I ought to be able to. +Will you see Aunt Gertrude in town, Brian?" + +"Can't. I go straight through to the Great Northern. There's no object +in seeing her. She would only begin lamenting about you and your 'lost +chances,' as she described it when I saw her last." + +Hope and Brian were talking together in the drawing-room. He was +leaving early the next morning, and as Hope realised that they might +not see each other for a very long time, she prayed for the courage +she felt she needed. She was standing at the open window, her hand on +a climbing rose outside. Suddenly she turned round and confronted her +brother with grave sweet eyes. + +"Brian, I want to say something to you. You won't be vexed? You are so +silent, so self-contained, that I often wonder what your thoughts are +about. I know you have had very few opportunities of going to church, +but do you ever honestly think about religion in any shape or form?" + +Brian looked at her queerly. + +"Well, I won't say I haven't given it a thought since you came to +live with us, for I believe it is at the bottom of your content. I +rather looked for sulks and tears, when you found you had to forgo all +your luxuries and pleasures. I know you don't give me credit for much +observation, but if I don't say much, I see the more. As far as I make +it out, religion is a very satisfying thing for a woman." + +"And not for a man? Oh, Brian, just think of the first disciples! And +all the men who have fought and suffered for their faith. I do long +that you should realise the reality of having our Lord as your Saviour +and Friend. It would make the difficult and hard things in life so +different, so sweet." + +"Well, I'll think about it." + +Brian half-shrugged his shoulders. He had a genuine admiration for his +sister, and believed in her, but he could not stand much talking. Hope +felt she had said enough. + +"I have slipped a small Bible into your portmanteau," she said softly. +"Will you read it sometimes? You are such a devoted son, such a good +brother, that I can't help thinking what a splendid Christian you would +make." + +"Oh, I'll read it," said Brian abruptly. "I think I'll be turning in +now. Good-night!" + +He left the room quickly, and with a little sigh Hope turned out the +lamp and followed him upstairs. + +She was very tired that night, and fell asleep almost directly her head +touched the pillow. But, in the grey dawn of the following morning, she +was suddenly aroused by a voice outside her door. + +"Hope, I want you!" + +It was Brian speaking. In an instant Hope knew from his tone that +something had happened. She slipped on her dressing-gown and opened her +door. + +"Is it father?" + +"Yes. He is unconscious. I heard him fall. I'm afraid it is a kind of +seizure or stroke. Come at once. I must go for the doctor." + +Hope followed him silently and swiftly to her father's room. + +She found that Brian had been able to get him on the low couch at the +foot of his bed, and there he lay, his heavy breathing the only sign of +life about him. + +"The doctor told me in town this was to be expected," said Brian. "I +rather fancy he has had a touch before, just after mother's death. You +can do nothing for him, but just watch him. I won't be long." + +He disappeared from the room, and Hope sat down by the side of the +couch wondering if it were some dreadful nightmare from which she would +soon awake. The dawn deepened into broad daylight, and the sun began +to creep in, and the twittering of the birds increased outside, before +Brian returned. + +The doctor understood at a glance what had happened. He sent Hope away +with the words: + +"It is a slight seizure, Miss St. Clair; your brother and I will get +him into bed. We shall bring him round again; do not be afraid." + +She went back to her room and dressed herself hastily. Then she called +Anne, told her what had happened, and ordered her to get hot water +ready as soon as possible, in case it might be wanted. + +Anne was voluble with dismay and importance. + +"'Tis a stroke, miss, a parrytic seizure; my uncle lay two months, and +couldn't use his hands, nor his feet, nor nothin'! I knows all the +symtims, and the master will be long before he can be better, an' if +Mr. Brian is away, you and me will have our hands full, I can tell you!" + +Hope's heart sank, for she realised the truth of Anne's words. When the +doctor did come to her, his news was not very reassuring. + +[Illustration: "YOU CAN DO NOTHING FOR HIM, BUT JUST WATCH HIM."] + +"This may be a long business, Miss St. Clair. You will need a nurse. +Shall I send one in? I shall come in again this afternoon to see if +there is any sign of consciousness. Perhaps you and your brother would +like to talk it over. He says he is not going to leave your father +to-day." + +"But," said Hope, with bewildered eyes, "he was sailing for America +this evening from Liverpool." + +"Was he? I fancy that trip will have to be postponed." + +The doctor took his departure. For a moment Hope felt quite dazed, then +hearing the boys' voices and the thud of their feet as they ran in and +out of the bathroom, she went up to them and broke the news. + +They took it calmly. Their father had lately been the one member of +their household who spoilt their fun, and enforced the quiet that was +so irksome to them. + +Jerry pulled a long face. + +"Poor dad! Will he die?" + +"Oh no," Toby assured him quickly; "he'll be all right soon. If he's +unconscious, he won't hear any noise, that's a comfort!" + +"You must make no noise," said Hope gravely. + +Then she left them and went downstairs and began her usual morning +duties. + +It was a very long day. Brian never left his father's room, except to +come outside and send a telegram to his friend, the captain of the +vessel in which he had hoped to sail. + +"I can't go," he said shortly to Hope, and she experienced the first +sense of relief at his words. + +When the doctor came in the afternoon there was little change in Mr. +St. Clair's state, but Brian negatived the idea of having a nurse. + +"I am home, and I can nurse him," he said shortly. "He never could bear +women fussing round him." + +"Your father is in good hands," the doctor assured Hope before leaving. +"Your brother is wonderfully handy in a sick-room." + +"He is handy anywhere," responded Hope. "Can you give me any hope about +my father?" + +"Oh yes, every hope; but he may be a long time recovering. One side is +entirely paralysed at present. I hope he may regain consciousness and +speech in a few days." + +But weeks passed before Mr. St. Clair's condition improved. He was +helplessly bedridden, and when all danger was over, Hope and Brian put +their heads together as to ways and means. The illness had been an +expensive one. If Mrs. Daubeney had not sent Hope a cheque for twenty +pounds, they would not have been able to keep out of debt. + +From the first day, Brian had not uttered one word of complaint or +regret for the relinquishment of his intentions. He waited on his +father with ready cheerfulness and patience, and was seldom absent +from the sick-room. When Mr. St. Clair was convalescent, and when he +realised that his father would require an attendant always with him, +that he would not be able to raise himself from his couch, or even +convey food to his lips, he told Hope, with a set smile and a quiet +voice, that he would be that attendant. + +"He can't afford a nurse, and you could not be with him always. I must +stay with him." + +"Then, Brian, if you cannot earn money, I must." + +Hope spoke resolutely, but the flash in Brian's eyes at her suggestion +showed her that hidden fires were beneath his calm exterior. + +"I don't intend to be an idler," Brian said hotly. + +"What are your plans?" + +"I hardly know. We must leave this house and get a cottage in the +country, if we can. The doctor advises it. The cathedral chimes are +having an irritating effect on father's nerves. If we could find a +small place not too far away from here, it would be easy. We could live +twice as cheaply; and there would be a chance of getting something out +of the soil, perhaps." + +"Yes," said Hope eagerly; "and I would be able to help you. Why, could +we not live as the country people do? Couldn't we grow vegetables and +flowers for market? Oh—I have it! It is an inspiration!" + +She was silent for a moment, then said more slowly: + +"It is capital that we want. I wonder if Aunt Gertrude would help us? +I know of a sweet cottage and small poultry-farm. Hester Chesney took +me to it the other day, and the owner would sell it very cheap, the +goodwill—isn't that the expression?—included. For she has a contract in +town with the Stores, to supply them with poultry and eggs." + +She told her brother all the particulars she could remember. After +the darkness of their outlook, this seemed like a flash of light and +brightness. Brian listened and approved; but shook his head at the +amount of capital necessary. + +"It sounds all right," he said cautiously; "it would be easy work for +us. I know a good bit about poultry; and you and I together could look +after father and work the place. There are the boys to be considered. +I really don't know what to do with them; but the great difficulty is +money." + +"I will write to Aunt Gertrude at once. She must help us. She is our +nearest relation." + +Hope went off at once, and wrote her letter. + + +But a week passed, and she received no answer. + +Meanwhile she had sent Brian one day to see Miss Rill, and he came back +with light in his eyes. + +"It will do," he said, "if we can buy it outright from her as it +stands. And I'll tell you rather a curious thing. I went over to look +at the church, and met the Vicar wandering round. He is badly off, +it appears, and would willingly take the boys as day-pupils for very +little. So that difficulty would be solved." + +"Oh, if we only could go there!" sighed Hope. She saw herself in the +quaint cottage, tending the fowls and flowers, and her longing after a +country life increased. + +The very next morning, as she sat at breakfast, a letter arrived for +her. Hope took it and read it through with dazed eyes again and again +before she could realise the truth. It was from her aunt's godchild, +Eva. + + "DEAR MISS ST. CLAIR,—I feel you ought to be one of the first to hear +the sad news. Mrs. Daubeney died suddenly in her sleep last night. The +doctor has just told us that it was failure of her heart's action. I +dare say you knew that her heart was not strong. My mother has come +to me. It has been a great shock. Please excuse haste. I think Mrs. +Daubeney was going to write to you, but I don't know what about. She +was always talking about you, and I am sure that you, with me, will +feel her loss. + + "Yours very sincerely, + + "EVA." + +Hope was quite stunned by this news. She told Brian of it very quietly, +performed her usual housekeeping duties, and then went upstairs to her +own room, and with locked door sat down by her window to think it out. + +She had taken the trouble of her father's illness very calmly, but +this seemed to be overwhelming. Mrs. Daubeney had been like a mother +to her. And Hope's heart was with her, though perhaps not with her +environments. She had always, though unaware of it, considered that +Mrs. Daubeney's home was hers to return to, when her father should +need her no longer. Her present life was one of probation. Whatever +happened, and however many misfortunes might fall upon her, she had her +aunt to whom she could turn, and the half-conscious conviction of this +had always been her solace. + +Now the very foundation under her feet seemed to have slipped away, and +with the despairing feeling of insecurity and loneliness, came real +grief at the loss of one she loved. + +She bowed her head in her hands and wept passionately. + +"It is so sudden. I can't believe it. Shall I never be able to take +up my old life with her again? Is it all over? I shall have no one to +advise me, to care for me! She was the only one. I am an outsider still +to my father and brothers. Aunt Gertrude did love me. We had lived so +long together, and oh, how I loved her, how I have missed her! I can't +believe I shall never see, never speak to her again! Why has life +become so clouded for me? It seems one trouble after another. I feel as +if I cannot bear them!" + +It was a dark hour, but Hope was not left without comfort. And He who +is always ready to heal where He wounds, drew near and spoke to her +soul. + +Brian was very good to her, and was quite ready to spare her when she +said she would like to go up to town. + +"I shall manage very well. It is quite impossible for me to attend her +funeral, or I would. Are we her nearest relations?" Hope replied slowly. + +"I believe we are. But, Brian, I must tell you that Aunt Gertrude would +never make her will, though she often talked about it. I can't bear +thinking of her money now she is gone, but you must remember it came to +her through her husband, and by his will after her death it goes to his +only nephew, who is somewhere abroad. I know that, for she told me so." + +"I wish she had been able to help us about this small poultry-farm," +said Brian rather gloomily. "It seems such a chance!" + +Hope was absent for a week. She returned home pale and sad. Brian had +been hoping against hope that Mrs. Daubeney had at least left her +sister some small sum of money. He had no affection for his aunt, so +her death did not affect him as it did Hope. To Hope the time in London +had been inexpressibly sad. She had seen some of her old friends, and +Jim Horrocks had looked after her like a brother, and had tried to +comfort her in his own fashion; but all the accounts of her aunt's last +days from Mrs. Daubeney's old maid, and the associations of her house +and belongings, had weighed heavily upon her spirits. + +As she returned to Kayminster in a third-class railway carriage, the +girl felt that she had finished now with all ease and comfort in life. +Mrs. Daubeney had died, as she feared, without a will. Her house and +furniture were to be sold, and the only legacy Hope received was some +valuable pearls that bore her name upon the case. As she leant back +in her seat, she tried to realise what it would mean. She would have +no allowance in the future, but would be absolutely dependent on her +father for every penny she would have to spend. + +"I shall have to earn my living," was her inmost thought. And that was +followed by another—"How can I be spared? In either case, there is a +life of toil before me." + +As she put her foot down on Kayminster platform, a voice startled her. + +"Good afternoon, Miss St. Clair. May I ask how your father is?" + +It was Lancelot Dane. She turned to him, trying to hide her depression; +but the look with which Lancelot met her glance brought the tears to +her eyes. + +"I am in trouble," she said confusedly. "My aunt has died suddenly, and +I have been to her funeral. Father is about the same." + +"I am so sorry for you. We saw the announcement of Mrs. Daubeney's +death. I am afraid it must have been a shock to you!" + +"I don't think anything will shock me again," said Hope wearily. "There +is nothing that could." + +He walked by her side after she had given directions for her small +portmanteau to be sent to the house. Then he said presently: + +"This summer has been a hard one for you." + +"It has all come at once, and I hardly know where I am." + +"But however deep the waters are, you are not left to tread through +them alone." + +Hope flashed a look at him. + +"Oh!" she said. "If I could only remember that! If this had happened a +year ago, where should I have been!" + +The strained look on her face passed away. Lancelot was silent for a +moment, then he murmured almost under his breath: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, with sorrows surging round? + On Jesu's bosom nought but calm is found.'" + +Hope drew a long breath, but not one word did she say. + +He left her at Wistaria Lodge, but the grasp of his hand made her blood +tingle; and though she parted from him in silence, she felt as she went +into the house that his few words had been all that she needed. + + + +Chapter XII + +THE NEW HOME + +THE next morning she and Brian held a serious consultation together. +Brian had been bitterly disappointed that all Mrs. Daubeney's money +would pass to her husband's nephew. Looking at his sister's sweet +unruffled face, he felt a sudden impatience against her rise within him. + +"She has no conception of what it will mean to us," he thought; "she +does not know the value of money, for she has always had more than +enough for her needs. I hate her complacent composure!" + +"I suppose you realise," he said a little roughly, "that this illness +of father's is draining our resources to the utmost. If I can't leave +him, how are we to live? Your allowance will be stopped; we shall be +worse off than ever!" + +Hope winced, and Brian, meeting the pained look in her eyes, was +ashamed of himself. + +"I know," she said; "I lay awake last night thinking of it; but I +will not be a burden to you, Brian; I am sure I shall be able to earn +something!" + +"As if I could let you, a girl, be the breadwinner!" he said scornfully. + +"Brian, don't let us meet this trouble bitterly and angrily. The loss +of dear Aunt Gertrude is far more to me than the loss of her money; +but I know she could not be the same to you as she was to me, and I +understand your side. I asked the lawyer if we ought to move out of +this house at once. I believe it would be best for us to do so, though +he said there was no immediate hurry; and I will tell you what I did. +I took my pearls to Aunt Gertrude's jeweller, and he has promised to +take them from me; he thought he would be able to give me three hundred +pounds for them. He is absolutely trustworthy, and after having them +tested, he will let me know definitely. + +"Now I have been thinking that this will cover the sum Miss Rill asked +for her little cottage. Don't you think we could venture on taking it? +I promise you I will do my very best to help you there; and if we can +have the help of a woman once or twice a week, I think I could manage +to do without a servant. The place is so tiny that it will not be +nearly so much trouble as a house of this size. What do you think?" + +Brian was walking up and down the dining-room with his hands in his +pockets, and his brows knit in thought. He looked up when Hope finished +speaking, and with a little shake of his shoulders, tried to smile. + +"You make me feel a brute!" he said frankly. "But I own we all seemed +in a fair way of going under. I hate the idea of taking your legacy, +but if you are determined to stick to us, it's the only thing to be +done. I believe I could make that place pay, and look after father into +the bargain. Now I must go back to him. It's no good to fight with +fate. Yours is the best plan, to accept it calmly, and make the best of +it." + +But Brian little knew what a conflict had been going on in his sister's +soul, and how it was only through the words of her favourite hymn that +she had remembered and tested the source of her present peace and +quietness of mind. + +They were not long in making their plans. Hope received the cheque from +the jeweller within the next few days; Brian went out and transacted +the necessary business with Miss Rill, and before the end of the month +they were packing up. + + +One afternoon Hope was in her bedroom turning out the contents of +her wardrobe. As her pretty evening-dresses came to light, the white +satin slippers, fans, lace-handkerchiefs, soiled white kid gloves, +and all the many requisites of a young girl in society, she felt as +if her youth had entirely slipped away, and a dull, sordid middle age +commenced. + +"I shall never want them again. I shall never be in a position to +require them. That bit of life has gone for ever, and I ought to feel +glad that it is so. It never really satisfied me." + +Then the light came into her tired eyes. + +"Life is worth living, though it be in a cottage. I am still young and +strong and able to help others. Perhaps, after all, I am only just +beginning my true real life, the one that God meant me to live when He +made me?" + +This thought cheered her, and stayed with her; and she folded her silks +and satins away with a light heart, wondering as she did so how she +could turn them to the best account. In the midst of it, Anne came up +to her to say that Mrs. Dane had called to see her. + +Hope ran downstairs. When she entered the drawing-room, Mrs. Dane drew +her towards her, and gave her a kiss. + +"I am so sorry, dear, that I have not been able to come before. I have +only just come home from town, where I have been staying with a sister +of mine for the last month. I could only write and offer my sympathy, +and now I find we are going to lose you. Where are you going?" + +"Only as far as King's Dell. Isn't it a pretty name? It's right in the +country, I'm glad to say, about five miles from the Chesneys. It was +Hester who showed the place to me; she wanted it for herself, but she +is delighted that we have got it." + +"And are you pleased?" + +"Yes, I truly am. And father likes the idea of it. Oh, Mrs. Dane, it +is so pitiful to see him! He lies quite helpless; Brian waits upon him +hand and foot, and of course I do what I can to share the nursing." + +"You have no nurse?" + +"We can't afford one, and nobody will understand that. I don't mind +telling you, for you seem such an old friend already, but the death of +our aunt leaves us much poorer, and Brian is not able to go to Canada." + +"You are having a lot of trouble." + +Mrs. Dane regarded the young girl very tenderly. She looked too dainty +and frail for the stress of life, and though her cheeks were flushed +and eyes bright, it was hardly a healthy animation. She noted the tired +lines round her eyes, and the delicacy of her skin. + +"Yes, it seems nothing but trouble, and yet now we see daylight. I am +thankful we are going to leave this house; it is too big for us." + +"You take your maid with you?" + +"No, she wants to come, but just at present we can't manage it. We have +discovered a woman at a neighbouring cottage. She says she will be able +to come in for a couple of hours every morning, and I shall manage +quite well. I am looking forward to it. I feel I can do anything with +Brian at hand to help me. You don't know how useful he is in a house." + +"My dear child, it will be too much for you. What sized house is it?" + +Hope gave her particulars, and Mrs. Dane listened for the most part in +silence. Then she asked about her aunt's illness, and Hope broke down a +little when talking about her. + +"It is my first real loss. I can't tell you how I loved her, though we +were beginning to get different interests. And I always hoped I should +go back to her one day." + +"Well," said Mrs. Dane, after some further talk, "I must not pity you +too much, but try to cheer you. And I think with you that life will be +much easier and simpler in a labourer's cottage. Such an opportunity +is not given to every one as it is given to you, of proving yourself +superior to your circumstances. You will find, dear, that you will have +all needed strength and wisdom supplied. God's children never lack, if +they look up." + +But as she walked home, Mrs. Dane felt Hope's bright and undaunted +courage was almost beyond her own attainment. + +"I am filled with astonishment," she confided to Lancelot that evening. +"She is the last girl I should have given credit for such grit. Not +one murmur, not a foreboding! I believe if she were cast homeless and +penniless into the streets, she would set cheerfully to work to sell +matches or flowers, and take it all as a matter of course. She fulfils +her name." + +"Less strength than spirit," remarked Lancelot. "That old aunt of hers +who brought her up must have been very thoughtless and selfish. It is +hard lines on a girl." + +"I wish we could do something to soften her lot, but it is very +difficult." + +Lancelot did not respond. + +But the day Hope and her family moved to King's Dell, he appeared, and +took entire charge of the sick man, sending an invalid carriage for +him, and accompanying him to the little cottage. + +It was fortunately a bright warm day. Brian had arranged that the +downstairs sitting-room should be made into his father's bedroom, and +one of the four upstair rooms was given to Hope as her sitting-room. +The kitchen was to be the general living-room. + +Hope delighted in it all; the sweet surroundings of her new home seemed +to fall as balm upon her sorrowing spirit. When Mr. St. Clair was +safely settled in a comfortable bed, Hope's last anxiety disappeared. +Very white and tired she looked as she spoke her thanks to Lancelot for +his ready help, but her eyes were shining with content. + +"Don't thank me," he said. "It is in our covenant of friendship that we +should help each other. Do you know what I am longing to do now?" + +"No." + +"To compel you to sit in that easy chair, and let me get you a cup of +tea. I say tea, for I believe it is a panacea for women's weariness. My +stay in India has unfitted me for seeing ladies toil so. My stay in the +colonies before I went there has taught me how to be useful. May I do +it?" + +He spoke so eagerly, yet so wistfully, that Hope hesitated. Her +hesitation gave him the opportunity at once. He drew forward the only +easy chair in the kitchen, and Hope found herself in it, with a cushion +at her back, before she could remonstrate. + +"I forbid you to move," he said. "Direct me if you like. I see the +kettle is boiling. Shall I find the tea in that cupboard? Ah, here it +is! Now for the teapot! I see it, and I shall forage in the larder for +the bread and butter. Sit still and see a man make tea. I assure you it +will be a success." + +[Illustration: "SIT STILL AND SEE A MAN MAKE TEA."] + +Hope obeyed him. A strange sense of rest and security filled her +heart whilst he was by her. She had been working very hard all day. +The little house was in good order. Brian was settling things in his +father's room; the boys were still at school, and were to come out in +a farmer's trap an hour later. She felt she could with justice enjoy a +quiet half-hour, and work the better for it afterwards. + +As she sat in her chair, she could look out of the half-open door down +the flagged brick path with the borders of dahlias and Michaelmas +daisies on either side. The sun was getting low, and its golden rays +shot across the old mossy trunks of the apple-trees in the orchard +beyond. A blackbird was singing its evening song, and the lowing of +some cows in a neighbouring field proclaimed the fact that it was +milking-time. + +Hope drew a long breath, and wondered if it were a dream. Her thoughts +went back to a year ago, and she felt as if this past summer had been a +lifetime. With the past came recollections of her aunt, and the shadows +gathered in her eyes and left their impress on her face. + +When Lancelot came into the room from the dairy, and glanced at her, +he saw that rest and quiet thought were proving more painful than +incessant action, and a longing seized him to take her into his arms +and shield her for ever from care and pain. He was a quiet unemotional +man upon the surface, but, when his feelings were deeply stirred, his +self-control had hard work in suppressing his passion. From the moment +he had seen Hope walk into the cathedral that spring evening, in all +her fresh daintiness and grace, his heart had been taken captive. + +He would not acknowledge it at first. He had seen many fair women in +the East, he had noted many eyes brighten at his approach, and cheeks +flush with self-conscious pleasure in his presence; and without undue +self-esteem, he knew that he could have married over and over again, +if he had so wished. Perhaps it was the strong hold that his mother +had of his affections; perhaps her sweet and gracious dignity, her +cultivated mind, and her winning personality, overshadowed the shallow, +light-hearted Anglo-Indian girls of his acquaintance. He compared them +all with his mother, and found them wanting. He may have judged them +hardly; he saw them always smiling and gay, and did not realise that +their frivolous talk often hid their deeper feelings. + +But Hope came before him in a different light. It was not her beauty +that attracted him; it was the sad wistful pathos in her grey eyes, +the quiver of her sensitive lips, the troubled restless soul that +looked out of her sweet girlish face. He had noted her tears, and when +he left the cathedral with his mother, he vaguely wondered why he was +so interested in her. Later on, he heard more about her, and then, +when she visited his mother, he saw that the restlessness had passed +out of her eyes, and great peace reigned there. From that time, her +personality was ever in his thoughts. Now, though his eyes were keenly +conscious of her every look and movement, his words were lightly spoken. + +"There now!" he said with pride, as he set out her tea on the table +beside her. "Am I not as good as my word? The world will look quite +different when you've had some tea! I know the ways of women!" + +Hope laughed as she took the cup from his hand, and her sadness +vanished. + +"The world is a pleasant place as viewed from these cottage walls. What +a simple thing life is, after all! You only want shelter and warmth and +food. I believe we shall get all that here." + +"And rest of mind, and sometimes rest of body." + +"Yes, I shall have both, certainly the former." + +Hope looked away out of the window as she spoke. Then as her glance +came back to Lancelot, her eyes twinkled. + +"What would your mother say if she saw you now?" + +"She would be glad to see her teaching from early boyhood carried out. +She is old-fashioned, Miss St. Clair, and thinks that men ought to wait +on women. I should wish your brother had had such a teacher." + +"You must not abuse Brian. He is a dear good boy. I can't tell you how +I admire him. And oh, Mr. Dane, if you saw his gentleness and patience +with my poor father!" + +"Yes, but I should also like to see more chivalrous attention to his +sister." + +Lancelot's voice rang sternly. + +Hope hastened to change the subject, and they had an animated +discussion upon the "simple life," with its attendant difficulties for +educated people. When Brian came in, Lancelot got up to go. + +"Look after your sister," he said, "and remember you cannot expect a +race-horse to do a cart-horse's work." + +"Now what does the fellow mean by that?" said Brian wrathfully, as he +watched his retreating figure down the brick walk. + +Hope laughed. + +"Very impertinent, is he not? Come and sit down, Brian. I will go to +father." + +"He is asleep. We shall hear him if he wakes." + +Brian smothered a quick sigh as he sat down on the old-fashioned +window-ledge. + +"Well," he said, "you've got it very shipshape here. I think we shall +pull through all right. And if you want help in cooking, remember I'm +colonial through and through, and can bake bread or cook a joint with +any one, not to speak of making rabbit stews, and even an apple-tart!" + +"We shall manage famously," said Hope cheerily, "and I shall look to +you to make up my deficits." + +Her short rest was over, but it had done her good, and when the boys +arrived an hour later, she was equal to the task of quieting their high +spirits, and getting them comfortably through their evening meal, and +to bed in one of the attics. + +Then she stood at the open cottage door, looking across the orchard in +the waning light, and her heart rested itself on a verse she had read +that morning in her Bible: + + "When the Lord giveth quietness, who then can make trouble?" + +The loss of her aunt, the distressing helplessness of her father, the +scarcity of money, and the prospect of daily toil and anxieties, could +not seem to touch her with the assurance of God's quietness and peace +filling her soul. + +She laid her tired head on her pillow that night with a smile upon her +lips, and a prayer in her heart for guidance and strength. + + +In the days that followed, even Brian marvelled at her. Not that she +was perfect. She made many and ludicrous mistakes, and the housekeeping +did not run smoothly at first. But each day added to her experience, +and the sweet air and country surroundings soothed and comforted her. +She spent many hours with her father, for Brian's time was necessarily +taken up with starting the poultry. + +The boys were rather a trial at first. They were delighted with their +new home, but Hope found the lack of space for them to play in a great +difficulty. However, they soon settled down, and went to the Vicarage +regularly morning and afternoon to be taught by the Vicar. Upon the +third day of lessons, the Vicar and his daughter called. Mr. Parr was +a widower; his eldest daughter, a sweet dreamy-looking girl of about +five-and-twenty, managed his house and was an indefatigable worker in +the parish, so she hinted to Hope. + +"I have not time for many social calls, but we felt we must come and +give you a welcome," she said, when her father, a quiet grave man, had +gone into Mr. St. Clair's room to see him for a minute or two. + +"I think I likewise shall be too busy for calls," responded Hope, +smiling, "but I did not think there would be any society about here, +not for us, at any rate." + +"You see," continued Avice Parr, with an absent look in her eyes, +"our parish is a very scattered one, and there is a factory three +miles away which swallows up a great many of our young girls. I have +special classes for them, and a great deal of work in connection with +the factory. My interests are entirely in the parish, so I know little +of anything else. Perhaps you may think me narrow, but the spiritual +welfare of every soul in our charge is as dear to me as to my father, +and that is saying a great deal." + +Hope's heart quickened as she listened to this, but she had little +opportunity of speaking, for Avice was a fluent talker, and commenced +to tell her the histories of several of her girls, with her own +difficulties in dealing with them. Before she had half finished her +narration, her father came out. + +"Is your father perfectly conscious of all that is going on, Miss St. +Clair?" he asked. + +"Perfectly. It is a comfort, in a way, but oh! so hard for him not to +be able to make himself understood!" + +"Yes, yes. Well, he seemed pleased to see me. Come, Avice, my dear, we +must not keep Miss St. Clair; she will want to return to her father." + +"My brother is out, or I would not have to leave you," said Hope, as +she opened the porch door and wished her visitors goodbye. + +Avice shook hands with her in rather a "distrait" fashion. + +"Father," she said, "I have just time to go to Mrs. Jennings before +tea. Do not wait for me." + +She hurried off, and Hope went back to her father's room. She was not +of a critical nature, but somehow or other Avice Parr disappointed her, +though she could hardly have given a reason for it. + +"She is good; she will help me," she said to herself, for often she +longed for sympathy and counsel; and yet she wondered if she would come +under the range of Avice's help. + + + +Chapter XIII + +KITTY + +HOPE went out the next morning to make a few purchases at the village +shop. Coming home she passed a wooden gate in the lane, upon which a +red-haired girl sat, swinging her heels and whistling merrily. + +She was a fresh-faced bonny creature to look at, though beauty had +not been given to her. Her skin, which was of that very white texture +that generally accompanies red hair, was much freckled. Her eyes were +blue and mischievous, and her lips, which were perhaps over-large for +the contour of her face, were now set in a merry smile. She jumped +down from the gate when she saw Hope, and revealed herself as a tall +well-grown girl of about sixteen or seventeen. + +"I'm always caught out," she said, addressing Hope confidentially, +"when I am doing anything I shouldn't do! How shocked Avice would have +been—if she had noticed me—which is a doubtful point. You know father +and Avice, so we don't need an introduction, unless you don't know my +name." + +"I'm afraid I don't," said Hope, with a smile. "I can only conclude you +are another of Mr. Parr's daughters." + +"The only other one; and that one ought to have been a boy. My name is +Kitty, or Kate; but if we're going to be friends, I'll let you call +me Kitty. Shall I walk a bit of the way with you? I saw you going up +the village, when I was in the cottages, so I came out here and waited +for you. I've been quite excited over your coming, so has father, and +your small boys are gems! They told me this morning a lot about you. I +didn't pump them. You don't mind, do you?" + +Hope looked at the eager girl with frank kindly interest. + +"No," she said; "of course I don't mind. I like to feel that some one +is interested in us. It does not give one such a lonely feeling." + +"Then may I come and see you by myself one day, and help you with +the poultry? That's one thing I'm really good at. I've managed our +poultry-yard ever since I was ten years old, and I know all the tips +for getting eggs when no one else has them! I shouldn't be in the way, +should I?" + +"I shall be delighted. It is most kind of you. I want to relieve my +brother of a good part of it; but at present I am a complete ignoramus." + +"You see," Kitty went on, in the same friendly easy tone, "I'm no good +as an ornament, so I go in for the useful! Avice does all the rest; she +can speak like an angel, and most of the villagers think her a saint. +I've always been at home, and father has begun and ended my education. +He has finished with me now. He's given me a knowledge of the classics, +and a thorough boy's training—he was awfully disappointed not to have +a son whom he could have 'trained for the ministry,' as he says. The +funny thing is that, though he says I've got the head for it, Avice has +the soul. So we're a compound of what a son ought to have been. And no +good, either of us!" + +"Tell me more," said Hope, smiling, as Kitty paused; "I'm most +interested." + +"It's rather low talking about myself like this, but I'll do it and get +it done, and then you'll know the sort I am; and if you don't care to +know me further, I'll understand. I hate the idea of being grown up. +That's why I keep my hair down, and then people don't ask me about, +with Avice. I like to root round and do things, and there are always +things want doing. + +"We aren't well off, and we only keep our gardener, his wife, and their +small daughter to do the work of the house. I'm a kind of general help, +and I find enough to do picking up people's beginnings and finishing +them. You see, that's all I'm good for. I can carpenter, and I do +all the repairs of the house; and I go on errands, and make myself +generally useful. So, you see, my offer to help you with your poultry +is just what I love doing! Do you like the country? I know it's new to +you, from your look." + +"I like it immensely," said Hope heartily. "And I am sure you will be +able to teach me a lot of things." + +Kitty laughed merrily. + +"Even to swing on gates and whistle!" she exclaimed. + +And then she said goodbye, promising to come to the cottage the next +morning. + +Hope watched her run along the road like any schoolchild, and came home +with a warm feeling in her heart for Kitty Parr. + + +Meanwhile that young lady had reached the Vicarage and flung herself +into the drawing-room with more haste than gracefulness. + +"Avice! Father! I've seen her, and I've fallen in love with her! Why +didn't you tell me how beautiful she is? She is like a princess in +disguise. I'm going to do all I can to be real friends with her." + +Mr. Parr was enjoying his afternoon tea. He had just come in from some +parochial visits, and Avice had been at the factory. She looked up at +her younger sister's vehement entrance. + +"Whom are you talking about?" she asked. "And aren't your boots very +muddy, Kitty?" + +"Oh, bother my boots! Whom should I be talking about but Miss St. +Clair? We've never had any one in the parish like her!" + +Avice smiled. + +"She seemed a quiet nice girl. Rather towny in her dress and style." + +"Did she tell you how she liked the cottage? You seem to have got so +little out of her. And I'm afraid I only talked about myself to-day. I +don't know what she must have thought." + +"Father, I met John Clark, and stopped to have a long talk with him." +Avice's mind was still upon the parish, as she poured out a cup of tea +for Kitty and passed it to her. + +"I think too much talking is worse than none in his case," said Mr. +Parr gravely. "Did you take his wife the soup?" + +"No, I forgot it." + +"I'll take it at once," said Kitty, jumping up; and, gulping down her +tea, she left the room. + +"I promised it yesterday, Avice," said the Vicar, with mild reproach in +his tone. + +"Yes, I am sorry, father, but soup, after all, is not a matter of vital +importance; John's soul is." + +"You cannot always separate the body from the soul, Avice. John's +excuse for frequenting 'The Crown' is that since his wife's illness, +he gets no proper food. Perhaps if he and she had had that good soup +to-day, you would not have seen him come out of 'The Crown' in the +state he was." + +Avice did not reply. She was, indeed, too absorbed in her thoughts to +notice her father's mild reproof. + +The two motherless girls had sadly missed a mother's training and +care. Naturally precocious, Avice had at a very early age taken the +lead in all parochial matters. She was earnest and sincere, but +lacked the practical common-sense which characterised her younger +sister. The parish would have fared badly if it had not been for +harum-scarum Kitty. As she said, her sister and she would have made a +good compound. Apart, they were lacking sadly in the essentials for a +vicar's daughters. Avice was a dreamer; she regarded food, clothes, +and housekeeping as necessary evils. Kitty, preternaturally sharp, +saw where her sister failed, and filled up the breach. Both were +egotistical, and supremely impressed with their own importance, but +Kitty was more aware of her own deficiencies. + + +The next morning she appeared at the cottage before ten o'clock. Hope +had been instructing Mrs. Goddles, a fat, cheery little woman, with a +fluent tongue; and she was divided between the importance of cleaning +out the kitchen and making a batch of bread. + +Kitty, seeing Hope's wistful looks over her dirty kitchen, solved the +question. + +"Let me make the bread. I'm a lovely hand at it, and Mrs. Goddles can +clean away as much as she likes without minding me. You've a splendid +fire. Do let me do it Miss St. Clair." + +"It's very kind of you," said Hope. "I will watch you, for I want to +learn how to do it. Only I must run away now and then to my father. My +brother is out mending and cleaning up the fowl-houses." + +Kitty was in her element. She bustled about, getting the things she +wanted, and soon was kneading her dough with all the skill of a born +breadmaker. Brian, coming in a little later, was startled to find her +the sole occupant of the kitchen, and to hear a brisk conversation +being carried on between her and the unseen Mrs. Goddles in the back +kitchen. + +"I says to him, Miss Kitty—'John,' I says, 'ain't you ashamed to talk +over a lady so?' And he says—" + +"I don't want to hear what he said, Mrs. Goddles; he's a disgrace to +the village, and though you're his sister, I say so!" + +"Ay, Miss Kitty, you do be too hard on us; but there, you be young, +so you be! And you don't take after your dear sister, bless her sweet +face! Her were a-saying to me only yesterday when I were a-carryin' +my basket of clothes back from Vicarage, and I were a-sweating up the +hill with it—'Mrs. Goddles,' she says, 'do you ever thank the Lord you +haven't to carry the burden of your sins?' With that she set to and she +preached me one o' the prettiest sermons I've heard tell for many a +day. Ah, Miss Kitty, 'tisn't many have the gift of preaching like Miss +Avice have! She never says a hard word to a dog, but she be just full +o' the goodness and the love of the Almighty, an' if she were chapel +born and bred, she couldn't be more supple wi' her tongue!" + +Kitty's eyes met Brian's, as he stood in the doorway, and they twinkled +as only Kitty's could. + +"Miss St. Clair has just gone into your father. I'm Kitty Parr. I saw +you when you came to talk to father about the boys, but you didn't see +me, for I was peeping through the chink of the door. I'm making bread. +It is the weekly batch. Doesn't it look good?" + +"Ripping!" + +Brian laughed back. He liked this young unconventional girl. It +reminded him of his beloved Canada. + +When Hope returned a short time later, she found Brian and Kitty the +best of friends. Brian was sitting on the window-ledge peeling an apple +for the young lady; and he offered it with more courtesy than Hope +would have given him credit for. + +The bread made, Kitty insisted on inspecting the poultry, and suggested +"swapping" a few hens, to which Brian agreed. Hope listened to the +merits of the different species with profound respect. It was all +unintelligible to her, but she was delighted to see Brian so animated +and boyish. Then he went back to his father, and Hope began to get the +dinner ready, Kitty helping her, and talking hard all the time. + +"It is so delicious to do everything yourself, isn't it?" she said. +"And you seem to do it so daintily. How do you keep yourself so clean? +I know I have dabs of flour all over my face, and I generally spill +an awful lot of water over the place when I move the saucepans! Miss +St. Clair, forgive my curiosity, but why do you live in this little +cottage? You're not a bit suited to it." + +Hope laughed merrily. + +"It's the want of money makes it a necessity, Kitty; but I mean to +enjoy every bit of it." + +"And don't you feel you want to sit down and read a book, or drive out +to see your friends, or go off for a long walk, instead of cooking the +dinner sometimes?" + +"Yes, I do feel that. And the other day I gave way to the feeling, and +took up my book while my tarts were in the oven, with the result that +the tarts were burnt. I felt a great sympathy with King Alfred, I can +assure you!" + +"But you had no one to scold you! I think if I had a cottage like this +I could be quite, quite happy. It's managing a house for others that is +the bother. You are your own mistress." + +"Brian is the master," said Hope, with humour lurking in the corners of +her lips. + +"Brian is your brother? Oh, I should think he was a jolly sort. He +looks so good-tempered." + +"He is a dear boy." + +Hope spoke with emphasis. + +Kitty looked at her thoughtfully. + +"I believe you are the right compound," she said. "Avice is too soft, +and I am too hard, so people tell me. Avice is always looking at the +beautiful in life, and I see the mistakes and muddles of it. Now you +are perfect, absolutely perfect, and oh, you are so sweet!" + +The impulsive girl threw her arms round Hope and gave her a hug, and +though they had been only acquainted with each other for twenty-four +hours, Hope did not resent it. She could not, for Kitty's bright +personality had cheered her immensely. She no longer felt a stranger in +a strange land. When she left her that morning, Hope had promised to +let her come over on Monday in the same way. + +"To-morrow is Sunday," Kitty said in parting. "Avice and father are +at it from morning to night. I'm the only one of the family who takes +a real Sunday rest. I did try taking a Sunday class, but I can't talk +goody, and if the children are naughty, I want to slap them, and that +doesn't work in our parish." + +Poor Hope did not find that first Sunday morning very restful to her. +Jerry and Toby were home all day, and it was wet and stormy. In spite +of the rain, she took them to church in the morning, but getting the +breakfast herself, preparing the dinner, and leaving the house clean +and tidy before she started for church, was rather an exhausting +process. + +"It's awful fun being really poor," Jerry announced, as he strode +sturdily along by her side. "I can't think why people like big houses +so much. It's ever so much nicer living in a kitchen." + +"Yes," put in Toby, "but I should like to be a little farther away from +poor dad. Will he never get better, Hope? Shall you be always hushing +us till we grow up?" + +"Oh, dad will die before that," said Jerry, solemnly. "I'm sure Brian +thinks he will, for I heard him say to that old Doctor he met in the +street last week when I was walking with him, 'You'll give him a year, +Doctor?' And the old chap shook his head." + +Hope looked at Jerry in a startled way. + +"There is a chance of father recovering, dear. The doctor told me so +himself." + +Her little brother's words filled her with uneasiness and dismay, but +once inside the quiet little country church, Hope gave her mind up to +the service. And Mr. Parr's simple sermon, based on the Twenty-third +Psalm, and the reiteration of the opening phrase, "The Lord is my +Shepherd, I shall not want," filled her with strength and comfort. +Avice played the organ and led the little village choir with great +sweetness. Kitty, looking decorum itself in the Vicarage pew, smiled +recognition after the service was over; but Hope was in too great a +hurry to get home to wait to speak to her. + +The rain had settled into a steady downpour; the meadow in front of +their cottage was like a sponge to tread upon, and Hope found the +process of changing and drying clothes and boots for herself and the +boys very trying in the confined space of the kitchen. When dinner was +over, she went into her father's room, and Brian told her he would look +after the boys for the afternoon. + +Hope read the morning's lessons to her father. She saw from his face +that he was not averse to it. Then she talked to him about the Vicar +and his girls, and a little bit about the sermon. As yet she felt very +shy of speaking to her father about the things she loved, and the fact +of never being able to elicit a response from him made her the more +diffident in what she said. + +"I liked his preaching," she said quietly. "It was so straight and +simple. He told us if we would only read the Bible and take the +sweetness out of it in a practical way, our lives would be very +different. And then he said if the Lord was our Shepherd, we should not +want. He asked us if we would each take Him for our Shepherd and make +this satisfying experience ours. I felt so glad to think that we can +all have it." + +There was silence in the room. Mr. St. Clair's eyelids flickered. He +heard, but he could make no response. + +Hope prayed silently for him, then added: + +"'I shall not want.' I keep saying it over and over again, father. +Nothing upon earth as long as I live, nothing certainly in our home +above. We seem to want so much sometimes, and if God cuts it all down +to what He considers is sufficient for us, we can be content. That is +what Mr. Parr told us." + +Mr. St. Clair moved his head restlessly on the pillow. It was a sign +that he had heard enough. So Hope sat still, and thought of many things +that Sunday afternoon whilst her father dozed. She could hear the +boys' voices in the next room, and occasional sharp ejaculations from +Brian as he rebuked them. The whiff of smoke that penetrated into the +bedroom from the kitchen told her that he was enjoying a pipe. Soon the +monotonous sound of his voice, and the sudden silence of the boys, told +her that he was reading aloud. She wondered if there were many other +young fellows of his age who would spend their Sunday afternoons in +such a manner. + +Then her thoughts turned suddenly away to the one who had criticised +him—to Lancelot Dane. She thought of his words, "A friend comes into +one's life to stay there." He had certainly come into hers; would he +always stay there? Hope dwelt on his words, on his quiet determined +chivalry towards her, and then, with a flush on her cheeks, she shook +her head at her wayward thoughts. + +"I am not a foolish, inexperienced girl. I have seen enough to know +that men can be friendly to women all their lives, and want nothing +more than their friendship. That I will give him gladly." + +Then she opened her Bible again, and presently her father required her +attention, and so the afternoon wore away. + +When she came out into the kitchen, she found Brian gravely cutting +bread and butter for the boys. The tea was laid, the kettle boiling, +and the kitchen looked a picture of cosy comfort. + +"What a good boy you are!" Hope exclaimed, as she came to the table. "I +feel quite rested. Why, you are better than I am at getting tea!" + +"He likes it!" said Toby, grinning. "He's awfully glad that cheeky +Anne is out of the way. It feels like home to be in a proper kitchen +again, and we've been hearing 'Adventures in the South Pacific.' It's +stunning!" + +"Well," said Brian, ignoring his small brother, "I fancied you looked +pretty fagged this morning, so I hope the rest has done you good." + +"Indeed it has." + +Hope sat down to tea and chatted cheerfully through it. Then, when +Brian went back to Mr. St. Clair, she washed up the tea-things and made +the boys help her. It was too wet to go to church again. Finding that +Toby and Jerry were getting quarrelsome, she sat down by the fire with +them and said she would tell them a story. + +"About Indians taking scalps?" said Toby eagerly. + +But Hope shook her head. She was always trying to influence for good +these young brothers of hers, and seized this opportunity at once. + +"I will tell you a story of a giant," she said, and in a few minutes +the boys were listening breathlessly to the legend of St. Christoferus. + +When she paused, Jerry said with a sigh: + +"I should like to have been that chap. Awful fine, taking people over +the river on your back! You could give a ducking to those who cheeked +you!" + +"I wish," said Hope, looking into their bright eyes with great +earnestness—"I wish that you two boys would take service with the +strongest Master in the world." + +There was no reply. The boys looked at each other, then at her. + +"You see," Hope went on, "it is always nice to serve the best. No one +can lose if Christ is their Master, for He is on the winning side. And +He is so strong that He makes His followers strong. They need never +fail to conquer if their Master is with them." + +"That sounds all right," said Jerry cautiously, "but boys who go in for +being 'pi' aren't thought much of!" + +"Aren't they?" said Hope, a little drily. "I wonder what the angels and +people in heaven think of them, not to speak of their Master who owns +all creation?" + +"Well, they get laughed at in school." + +"They can afford to laugh back if they're on the winning side." + +Jerry fidgeted. + +"Me and Toby know you're religious, because you smile when things go +wrong and are sorry when you are waxy. But we're boys, you see, and +they can't be good." + +Hope tried to show them the fallacy of this argument, and they talked +over the fire till supper-time. When she went to wish them good-night, +Toby pulled her head down to his on the pillow. In a fervent whisper he +said: + +"I'll have a try. I'll tell Christ to-night. I'll take service with +Him. What do you think my name will be altered to? Christ-Toby?" + +Hope did not know whether to laugh or cry, but the earnestness of the +small round face, with the soft cheek pressed to hers, filled her +with thankfulness; and she left him with a few more words and came +downstairs to Brian, feeling that Sunday had been, in spite of the +rain, a truly restful day. + + +The next morning brought her Kitty, full of enthusiasm about +the poultry. She and Brian worked out of doors all the morning, +constructing coops and enclosures out of old boxes and odds and +ends. Hope, from her father's room, heard their cheerful voices and +congratulated herself upon having a young friend who was as acceptable +to Brian as to herself. She asked her to stay to the early dinner, but +Kitty refused. + +"I must be back, for Avice is having a mothers' meeting this afternoon, +and I help with the club. How did you like my bread?" + +"It's quite delicious. I hope I shall be as successful when I try." + +Kitty laughed as she ran away. Brian looked after her with a smile. + +"She ought to be in the colonies," he said; "that's the sort we want +out there!" + +And higher praise than that could not be given by Brian. That afternoon +Hope was surprised by a visit from Hester Chesney, who brought Lady May +Fosberry with her. + +"May is staying with us for a couple of days, so of course wouldn't +be satisfied until I brought her over. Now I know you two would enjoy +a talk together, so don't mind me. I shall go out and inspect your +poultry, and I want to get a plant that Miss Rill told me could be +found in her hedges, and which is a great favourite of the bees." + +Hester walked off, and Lady May sat down in the one easy chair in the +kitchen and looked about her with interest and delight. + +"I can't believe it is you, Hope. You were the last girl I should have +ever thought would live in a cottage, and yet here you are, looking as +dainty as ever, and happier, I think, than in the old times, though you +have had such trouble!" + +"Yes," said Hope gravely, "I am happier, May, in spite of all, but I +have longed for a talk with some one who understands." + +"Yes, and so have I, though I have made one or two friends in town who +help me. How strange it is, Hope, that your circumstances have all +been changed for you, whilst I, who pine for change, can't get it. +What a useful life you lead! No ceremony, nothing that would spoil the +simplicity of life and come between your soul and God." + +"No," said Hope, "I suppose not. But I am thankful that I learnt to +take my comfort in the unseen things before all this came upon me. I +don't think I could have borne it if I had not been strengthened by God +Himself." + +"You're an angel!" said impulsive May. "Let me tell you how I have +fared. Oh, Hope, I was burning, longing to give myself to the +mission-field. I felt I must try to be one of the labourers, if I +could manage it. The first blow was my mother's flat refusal to let me +go. And our stupid doctor told her I would not be strong enough. Then +I begged her to let me do some parish work under our vicar in town. +She reluctantly consented. I suppose I worked too hard, for I had a +breakdown, and now they've got it into their heads that I have a weak +chest, and I am ordered abroad for the winter. Father and mother have +taken a villa at Cannes, and I am to be there the whole winter. We +leave in a fortnight's time." May's face was lugubrious. + +Hope smiled at her. + +"If you believe our circumstances are ordered by God, May, it is all +right, is it not?" + +"Yes, I do believe it," May responded, brightening at once. "But I +forget it, and of course the Riviera life is not enticing. It is such +an idle one. What can I do there? I don't doubt God means me to go, but +I keep thinking that He may have found me unfitted to be one of His +messengers—that is what troubles me." + +"I expect you will find a good many opportunities of helping those +amongst your own friends," observed Hope thoughtfully. "After all, it +is only a question of class, isn't it? You want to speak to the lower +classes and influence them. God wants you to speak and influence the +upper classes. They want the message of life quite as much as the +ignorant and uneducated do. You helped me first, remember! You can help +other girls in the same way." + +May's expressive dark eyes glowed with delight. "Yes, I see it! How +clearly you put it, Hope. I am not going to be shut away from all +intercourse with my fellow-creatures. And I haven't to pick and choose +and settle in my own mind who needs help most. Everybody needs help +everywhere. Oh, you have comforted me!" + +Hope smiled, but looked somewhat wistful. + +"My circle is a very small one," she said. "I almost envy you your +opportunities!" + +"Oh no, never! You are a perfect heroine. I am not." + +Then they talked over their Bibles. May got her little pocket Testament +out and gave Hope the rough outlines she had heard of a reading on a +chapter in Ephesians. Hope listened breathlessly. It was all so new to +her, and she felt she had so much to learn; but their time was limited, +and Hester soon sauntered back to them. + +"I know I am not welcome," she said; "but I forgot to bring lamps, and +it is getting late. I'm afraid you must come, May." + +"You're a dear!" said Hope, laying her hand affectionately on Hester's +arm. "But come over and see me by yourself when May has gone. I feel we +have treated you shabbily this afternoon." + +"Oh, I understand! There's a kind of freemasonry between you good +people. I suppose May has confided to you her woes. She is not allowed +to leave the world at present. Fate has not been as kind to her as to +you." + +"She doesn't want to leave the world," said Hope quietly. + +"No," said May, as she kissed her and wished her goodbye. "I shall be +content now wherever I am." + +Hester looked at her queerly, but said nothing till they were both in +the trap. Then she looked back and nodded to Hope. + +"I believe in you," she said, "and I shall believe in May if she takes +a leaf out of your book. I hate the cowardly way religious people +rush away from their homes and friends to preach sermons to the poor, +because they're afraid of tackling their own sort!" + + + +Chapter XIV + +THE LITTLE FLAGGED PATH + +HOPE was not without visitors, even at King's Dell. Mrs. Dane came +to see her very often, and always brought flowers and fruit for the +invalid. Hope enjoyed her visits immensely. She could talk freely and +unrestrainedly to her, and leant upon her for counsel and advice. +Lancelot was called away to see his property in the North, so he did +not accompany his mother. Busy as she was, Hope was enjoying her +cottage life more than she would have thought possible. Perhaps Brian's +increased cheerfulness and energy infected her. He began to turn some +of their waste ground into a kitchen garden, with a view to selling +vegetables, and was always happy when he was working in the open-air. + +The days drew in, and autumn began to verge into winter. Still Mr. St. +Clair remained in the same condition, and though they were not quite so +tied to the sick-room, he was a great anxiety and care. + +Kitty continued her visits. Avice very occasionally came to call, but +Hope quickly realised that she was too absorbed in her own interests to +become very friendly. + +One afternoon Hope was in the act of pumping some water in the yard, +when she was startled by the sudden appearance at her side of a thin, +wiry old man dressed in a very shabby great-coat and wearing a faded +red comforter round his throat. + +He took off his hat with an old-fashioned flourish. + +"I hear, madam, that Miss Rill has left. She always sold me a dozen +pounds of honey at this time of year. I came round to see if you were +continuing to keep bees." + +"I am sorry," said Hope politely, "but we do not; Miss Rill sold her +hives to a friend of mine. We have poultry and eggs to sell, and we +hope to have some vegetables later on." + +He stroked his chin meditatively and looked at her. + +"Are you a farmer's daughter?" + +"Well," Hope said slowly, "I suppose I am. My father has farmed in +Canada, but is too ill now to do anything of that sort, so my brother +is going to farm this small place instead." + +"And you are a modern product, then, of a young person taken out of her +own station of life and sent to boarding-school to be made a lady." + +Hope's eyes twinkled. + +"And now I've come back to my proper station of life," she said, "and I +find it very enjoyable." + +Again he looked at her curiously. + +"Look here," he said brusquely. "I live the other side of those woods, +and I heard there was a young capable fellow in this place kicking his +heels for want of work. If he's your brother, I want to speak to him, +and I'll step in and sit down while you fetch him." + +"Come in, then," said Hope, wondering at the strangeness of her +visitor. "I will call my brother; he is working at the other end of the +orchard." + +She went off to Brian. "You must come in and speak to him; he evidently +doesn't think much of me," she said. "He looks a regular old tramp, but +his voice is that of a gentleman." + +"I know who he is," said Brian, rolling down his shirt-sleeves and +slipping on his coat. He was digging, and looked, as Hope thought, +the picture of a young farmer. "The Vicar told me the squire of this +place was very queer and miserly, and lived by himself with very few +servants. It will be Mr. Spencer, I guess!" + +Mr. Spencer it was, and he stayed in Hope's kitchen for one full hour, +talking to her and to Brian. In the end, Brian promised to go over the +next day and superintend a bit of farming on the old man's place. + +"I am not proud," said Brian afterwards. "I know what he wants, and I +shall see that his men do it." + +"It seems to me you have your hands full as it is," said Hope; but he +would not have it so. + +The next afternoon he came back chuckling. + +"He can't make us out. He's awfully curious about you, asked no end of +questions. I like the old chap; he made me come into his room and have +a smoke before I left. He's a clever old sort, reads a good bit, and +philosophises. He says clothes and food ought never to be luxuries. +That is the sin of the age." + +"I dare say he is right," said Hope, smiling. + +She was glad when a strange friendship was formed between Brian and +this old man. Brian always preferred older men to those of his own age; +and now very often, when his work was done, he would go over to smoke a +pipe with old Mr. Spencer. + + +As winter came on, Hope began to find her household duties more +irksome. The cold and wet depressed them all. The cottage lay low, and +the meadow and orchard became almost a swamp. Visitors were few and +far between. The Chesneys went away, Mrs. Dane was laid up with a bad +attack of rheumatism, and Kitty was the only one who cheered Hope from +time to time by her unfailing helpfulness and good spirits. She was +helping her bake one afternoon when there was a knock at the door, and +without any ceremony Lancelot walked in upon them. + +"Well," he said, after he had shaken hands with Hope and been +introduced to Kitty, "you have now effectually isolated yourself by +barriers of mud and water. May I ask how you reach the highroad?" + +"Oh," said Hope, with laughing eyes, "I haven't been beyond our brick +path since last Sunday. I never go out in the week, and Brian does the +marketing." + +"You look like it," he said, regarding her with his keen dark eyes. +"Now I shall carry you off this afternoon for a short drive. It is +wonderfully mild, and in my trap you won't be conscious of the mud. +Miss Kitty might like to come too, but I am going to take no denial." + +"Ah, but you must! There is my father; how can I leave him? Brian is +out. I cannot run away from my duties like that." + +"Let me stay and look after him just for one hour," pleaded Kitty. "The +air would take away your headache, and you would come back feeling +quite different. So make her go, Mr. Dane. No one ever can make her go +out, and I think she is getting quite pale and thin. Just one hour—it's +only three o'clock now, and you would be back at four in time for tea, +and you really shall go, Miss St. Clair!" + +Two resolute pertinacious natures overcame Hope's scruples. She found +herself seated in Lancelot's trap before she had time to make any +further objections. + +"How delicious!" she exclaimed, as the soft air fanned her cheeks. "I +have been in the kitchen most of to-day, for as you saw, we are doing +our weekly baking, and Kitty and I were nearly overcome with the heat. +What made you think of coming?" + +"I got home from the north yesterday, so of course I came. Is it not +within the limits of friendship to see each other occasionally?" + +"I suppose so," was the laughing rejoinder. Then, in a different tone, +Hope asked anxiously: + +"And how is Mrs. Dane? I have longed to see her, but could not manage +it." + +"She is better, but still in bed. Tell me what you have been doing." + +"Cooking, mending, nursing, cleaning, and enjoying life," said Hope +stoutly. + +He looked down upon her with humour in his eyes. + +"Where does the enjoying come in?" + +"It begins in the morning when the robins sing outside my window, +and when I first open the door, and get a whiff of the moist air and +fallen leaves. Then I go to the pump and look up through the orchard to +the woods beyond, with the tall blue pines towering against the sky, +and then I come indoors refreshed and strengthened, and as I work on +through the day—forgive my self-conceit—I enjoy the feeling that I am +really becoming a capable housewife. I can boil milk without burning, +black grates without soiling my hands, and turn out a dinner that is +not a failure!" + +"Admirable accomplishments!" + +"Don't scoff! I am learning to enjoy things I never enjoyed before. +This drive is ten times more enjoyable from the very rarity of it. +Leisure and rest mean so much to me now. But I will not talk of myself. +Tell me the news of the day. We only have a weekly newspaper, and I +want to hear what has been going on since last Saturday." + +He told her; then related some of his experiences in his northern home. +Hope listened with interest and attention, and then his tone deepened +into gravity as he added: + +"My time is nearly up. I shall go out next month. And you will, +perhaps, be surprised at my news; but my mother goes with me." + +"Oh! Both of you!" + +The words escaped her breathlessly. + +"Isn't it a very sudden idea?" she asked confusedly. + +"Yes. My brother Rufus is going to be married, as I expect you know. +Paul has taken chambers in town, so none of us will be at home this +winter. We do not like the idea of our mother being alone. She has +always had one or the other with her; and she is quite willing to try +six months in India with me." + +Hope felt dumbfounded; she had difficulty in keeping the tears out of +her eyes. + +"I shall feel quite lost without your mother," she said, after a pause. +"She has been such a friend to me." + +Lancelot said nothing. He looked in front of him with a set determined +face; and then, without any warning, a tremendous storm of rain burst +upon them. + +"Ah!" he exclaimed. "I might have thought this mild December day would +make us pay for it." + +He gathered up the rugs round Hope. She was, unfortunately, without a +cloak or umbrella, and there was no house or shelter of any kind near +them. Seeing how wet she was getting, he drew up the horse, and without +a word slipped out of his overcoat and wrapped it round her. It was no +good for Hope to protest; his masterful manner won the day, though she +assured him that the rest of the drive would be spoilt to her. + +"With your Indian constitution, and your tendency to ague, it is cruel +to make me the cause of your becoming ill," she assured him. + +He laughed, and looked down upon her with such a glance that Hope's +eyes fell before his. And then he spoke. + +"Don't you know," he said, "that I want to give you something more than +a tweed overcoat?" + +Hope caught her breath, then gently laid her hand upon his arm. + +"Don't say more," she said. + +"But I must, though I did not think I should have to do so in the face +of such a storm as this. Do you think I am going away to India without +a word—without one effort to win you?" + +"I cannot listen," said Hope quietly, though her heart was beating +painfully. "You know my circumstances. I will never leave my father as +long as he lives. It is quite impossible." + +"Confound circumstances!" exclaimed Lancelot, for once losing his +self-restraint. "My little Hope, tell me—I know you have liked me as a +friend—could you care for me as a husband? I want to have the right to +shield, to care for you, to take you right away and give you comforts +and happiness, and—and—your proper and suitable environment." + +"I am in the environment God has chosen for me," said Hope, almost +below her breath. + +"Yes—forgive me—I should not have said that. You grace it as you could +grace a duchess's sphere. You make any surrounding beautiful. But you +have not answered me. I know you will not play with me. Speak from your +heart, I beseech you, and tell me truly whether you could ever regard +me as something more than a friend." + +It was a strange time in which to make a proposal. The rain was driving +full in their faces, the wind buffeting them at every turn, and +Lancelot's horse needed his continual guidance and attention. + +Hope was greatly taken by surprise. She had instinctively felt that +Lancelot liked her; but had repeatedly told herself that it was only +as a friend. She had not thought he would bring matters to a climax so +soon. And she hardly knew her own heart, as from the very first she +had resisted and crushed any feelings that had exceeded the bounds of +friendship. + +She took refuge in silence, and was glad that the dusk and wet shielded +her from his observation. + +"Tell me," he repeated, "that friendship between us must deepen into +love. I dare say I have not much to offer you except my love. People +say I am a social failure; I am not fond of the gay world, but neither +are you, and I honestly believe that I could make you happy." + +"You have taken me by surprise," Hope said gently, though her voice +trembled in spite of herself. "Will you give me time? I must think it +over, but I really feel at present that I have no right to make any +ties that will take me away from my father. I can never leave him. I +am his only daughter. It would be unfair towards you if I bound you in +any way, for I know for a long time that marriage would be out of the +question for me." + +"I will wait," he said eagerly. "I would not be so selfish as to wish +to take you now. Perhaps I ought to have gone off to India without +speaking, but I could not. Yes, I will give you time, though it will be +suspense to me. But how long will you want? And will you promise me to +consult your own heart before you consult either father or brother?" + +"Yes, I promise that," said Hope quietly. "Give me till to-morrow +afternoon—I will have my answer ready then." + +They were approaching King's Dell. Lancelot stifled the hot passionate +words that were upon his tongue, and Hope did not misunderstand his +quiet self-restraint. She liked him the better for it. When they parted +at the cottage gate, he took her hand in his. + +"I shall pray God that you may be given me," he said, and then he +turned away. + +Hope went up the flagged path with throbbing pulse and tearful eyes. +She was glad to hear that Kitty was reading aloud to her father, and +the quiet moments spent in her own room, whilst she was changing her +wet garments, restored her self-possession. + +Kitty met her with great concern. + +"It is too bad!" she exclaimed, with impatience. "You go out so seldom +that you might have been given fine weather. Have you enjoyed yourself?" + +"I have and I haven't," said Hope, smiling. + +"You look worried. What a nice man Mr. Dane is! I like his eyes so, +and he looks a man! He's so keen and quick and decisive in the way he +speaks. I hate a man who drawls his words, don't you? But, of course, I +don't see many men, only curates!" + +"And vicars," said Hope, laughing outright at the inflection of scorn +in Kitty's last words. + +"Yes, but they're father's friends, not mine. I've only seen two +classes of curates about here, the breathlessly energetic ones who +begin to turn everything upside down, and quote their former parish +until you wonder why they left it, and the drawley, lazy, bored ones, +who smile superciliously, and place themselves on pedestals, refusing +to come down. I've always told father that I shall never marry a +curate—and, of course, Avice thinks there is no one on earth like them! +I'm so sorry your drive was spoilt by the weather!" + +She took her departure, and Hope found enough to occupy her hands, if +not her thoughts, for the rest of the day. It was only when she went +to her bedroom at night that she could sit down and give herself up to +thought. And this she did. Her little clock on the chimneypiece was +pointing to two o'clock before she moved from her chair by the window. +And then sleep was long in coming. She was headachy and heavy-eyed when +she came down the next morning, and her daily duties seemed to weigh +heavily upon her. + +The rain had passed and the sun shone out gloriously. It was one of +those treasured days in winter that seem like spring in their warmth +and buoyancy. Brian had gone in the morning to the railway station with +the weekly batch of eggs and poultry. He came home at two o'clock, had +his dinner, and then told Hope he would sit for a time with his father. + +She was relieved, as, though Lancelot had arranged nothing, she +expected him to call. She tidied up the kitchen, put the kettle on to +boil for tea, and then opening the door, sat down in the porch with her +mending-basket. + +She had not been there long before the click of the garden gate made +her raise her head. It was Lancelot. As he came steadily and swiftly +up the red-brick path, Hope felt a strong inclination to turn into the +house away from him. + +"I have come," he said, as he shook hands with her, "for my answer." + +She looked desperately round her, then rose from her seat. "Let us take +a walk in the orchard," she suggested. + +She led the way, and Lancelot followed her in silence. Brian had cut a +path right round the orchard, and it was along this that Hope led her +lover. + +Presently she turned and faced him. + +"I thank you," she said, "for giving me time for thought; but I feel +much as I did yesterday, that I cannot bind myself at all to what would +eventually lead me away from my father and brothers." + +"But," said Lancelot, paling under the intensity of his feelings, "I +don't want such cautious, calculating sentiments; I want to know if you +love me." + +He took both her hands in his, and drew her gently but firmly towards +him. "Now, Hope, you are not going to wreck and spoil our lives by +dismissing me so lightly. I am the last one to say that you should +forsake your family in the present dilemma. I honour you for your +devotion to them. But you will not always have them with you. You +cannot consign yourself to a single existence for the rest of your life +because just at present you feel they need you. I am not going to argue +with you, but I am going to have a straight and truthful answer, and it +is within my rights to demand it. I don't ask you whether you think we +ought to marry at present. I ask you if you care for me? Please look at +me. You could not be anything but true." + +And then Hope's grey eyes were raised to his, but though for a second +he thought he had gauged their depths, though the glowing light and +love seemed to be dawning in them, in a moment she had turned her face +away. + +"I want to be true. I want to do right, and I feel I am absolutely +right in saying 'No.'" + +"This is your final answer?" + +The words were quickly, almost curtly, uttered. + +"Yes." + +He dropped her hands, then took them again and, with old-fashioned +courtesy, lifted them to his lips and kissed them. + +His sudden silent acquiescence frightened Hope. Without a word they +retraced their steps to the cottage. + +Hope had argued the whole thing out to herself the night before. She +called to mind more than one man in her London life who had asked her +to love him. She remembered Jim Horrocks. At one time she felt she +could have done it so easily, and yet now, though always glad to meet +him as a friend, she felt thankful that she had never been anything +more. + +"I feel now," she assured herself, "that I could love Lancelot Dane; he +has, as he said, come into my life to stay there, but time will show +me in the same way that my love for him is only friendship. I ought to +be free and unfettered. My father may live for years—God has shown me +my sphere of usefulness. It would be wrong to take the first chance +offered me of freeing myself from a life of self-denial and hardship, +a life in which I am really needed. It is very hard to refuse him. I +could—I know I could love him if I let myself. He is so thoughtful, so +kind and courteous, so clever and cultured, so delightful in his quick +decisions and humorous rallies, so protective in his manner. I will not +think of him, for I must not. I have refused other men before, I must +be firm now. I can't be spared; it would be unfair to bind him, and it +is not too late to nip in the bud any feeling that I have about him. I +am sure I am right. May Fosberry envied me my circumstances. I will not +run away from them. I will not relapse into a life of ease again. And +I feel if I were to say 'Yes' to Lancelot, he would be trying to make +life easier for all of us. My pride could not stand that. It would rasp +and irritate me. I could not accept favours from him nor allow any of +my belongings to do so. I don't think I am wrong. I am penniless. My +family depend upon me. I am not the wife for Lancelot!" + +She repeated this over and over to herself, she entrenched herself +behind a bulwark of arguments, and fancied herself strong and secure +in her position. Yet when her answer had been given, when he had bowed +his head and accepted it as final and irrevocable, for the first time +panic and desolation gripped hold of her soul. If he had only known +what was passing through her mind as they retraced their steps across +the orchard, he would not have so silently acquiesced in her decision. +He was hurt and sore at her refusal, and the stern lines about his eyes +and lips told that he was putting a strong restraint upon his emotions. + +He spoke when they reached the cottage. + +"This is goodbye," he said. "I will not trouble you again; but you have +my good wishes, and perhaps you may find time to see my mother before +she sails. We do not leave London till the week after next." + +"Will Mrs. Dane be well enough to go?" + +"She thinks so. This is only a temporary ailment." + +Raising his hat, he left her. + +She stood in the porch and watched him stride away down the flagged +path, and then, with a sudden rush of memory, she seemed to see Miss +Rill standing in that same porch and watching the departure of her +rejected suitor. That flagged path stared her in the face with earnest +protest. "The offering of rejected love." Imagination gave it voice. +Hope seemed to hear it say: + +"You are sending him away for ever; he will never come back; your life +will be empty without him. One woman lived here, and found no rest, +only bitterness and disappointment without the one who could have made +her happy. You are acting in the same way. You are young now, and do +not feel your need of him; the day will come when you will be old, and +lonely, and friendless. Then you will discover your mistake." + +She saw Miss Rill with her puckered face, her pathetic yearning to die +in the same place as her old lover, and the tears rushed to her eyes. + +With an impulse that she hardly understood, she walked rapidly down the +path. Would he look round? Could she call to him? A lump rose in her +throat and prevented speech. If he did not look round, her life would +be spoiled. That was the thought which flashed through her brain. He +had reached the gate. One moment more and he would have gone. The blood +rushed to her temples, then ebbed away as suddenly as it came, leaving +her as white as a sheet. And then he turned with a grim set face to see +for the last time the little spot that held the one he loved. + +When he saw her, he did not show surprise. + +[Illustration: "WHAT IS IT?" HE INQUIRED. "CAN I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?"] + +But her white strained face convinced him that she was in trouble. He +fancied that perhaps her father might be taken worse, and immediately +he put his own trouble in the background and sought to help her. + +"What is it?" he inquired. "Can I do anything for you?" + +Then the realisation of what she was doing came over Hope, and again +her cheeks flushed with emotion and shame. + +"You must wait," she said breathlessly. "It is this flagged walk that +has made me act so. Do you know its story? Will you listen to it?" + +He bowed assent, and stood leaning against the gate and wondering what +was passing through her mind. + +"It was made by a man for the woman he loved." + +Hope was speaking quickly, with nervously-clasped hands. Her eyes were +on the path with the history. + +"She was a little old maid who lived here before we came. She sent away +the man who wanted to marry her, and she never ceased to regret it. +Her remorse drove her up to London, away from her sweet home in which +she could take no pleasure. I believe she thinks she may yet meet him +there, but I expect he has married long ago." + +"And the path?" + +Light was slowly creeping into Lancelot's eyes. + +"The path was bricked for her by him before he went. He left a note +with just these words,— + +"'When you tread this path, you will be treading on rejected love.' + +"It was the path that drove her away; it is the path that has made me +follow you, that has made me doubt my own decision!" + +"What a blessed little path!" + +Lancelot's face was alight and aglow in a moment, but Hope stood still, +and put out her hand as if to keep him back. + +"Wait! You are a good man; you will not make me act wrongly. You know +my circumstances. I am going to trust you. I did not speak quite truly. +If I let myself, I could so willingly give myself to you—" + +She could say no more. Her faltering words were stopped by Lancelot, +who, with his arms around her, sealed her capitulation with a kiss. + +"I will prove myself worthy of your trust," he said. "My darling, how +could you treat me so!" + +"Oh," said Hope, with a long-drawn sigh, as she let her dark head rest +on his broad shoulder, "I have been fighting against myself all the +time, and now I can't fight any longer!" + +It was one of the sweetest moments of her life, but it quickly came to +an end. With a whoop and a shout Jerry and Toby made their appearance. +They were startled when they saw their sister and Lancelot in such +close proximity. + +"Lessons over?" Hope asked quietly. "Run in, both of you. I will follow +you." + +Then she looked up sweetly and shyly into Lancelot's face. + +"I have no more time," she said, "but you must advise me. I have cast +prudence and forethought to the winds; but in spite of it all, you know +I cannot leave my father." + +"I will wait seven years if needs be," said Lancelot passionately. "I +will come to-morrow. Oh, Hope, you have made life so different! And +what joy it will give my mother! May I tell her?" + +"Yes," said Hope recklessly; "I don't care who knows it. Forgive me for +not knowing my own mind before." + +She smiled upon him with all the warmth of her heart in her eyes, then +went up the red-bricked walk to the cottage, where the boys awaited her. + +Late that night she slipped out of doors in the moonlight with a shawl +over her head. And then, deliberately, she went down on her knees and +kissed the flagged path. + +"You blessed little path!" she repeated, in a whisper. "I thank you +with all my heart!" + + + +Chapter XV + +A SPEEDY PARTING + +HOPE could not confide in Brian till the next morning, and then she +broke the news awkwardly to him. + +He was just going out to the poultry, and he stood in the doorway +looking at her, with a tinge of amusement in his eyes. + +"I'm not quite a fool," he said; "I knew we should not keep you long, +only I thought that London chap was to be the happy man. Does he want +to take you out to India with him?" + +"As if I would go! I have told him I will never leave father, as long +as he wants me." + +"That won't be very long," said Brian soberly. "I doubt if he will live +a year." + +"Oh, Brian!" + +"Well, we'll see!" + +He went off to his work without another word, and Hope, relieved that +he took it so quietly, went in to tell her father. She knew that he +could not object. Just for a moment, the frown that crossed his face +troubled her, but she immediately assured him that she was not going +to leave him, and his brows relaxed, and his face assumed its ordinary +tranquillity. + +When Lancelot came later in the day, Brian met him with a manly grip of +the hand. + +"She'll make any chap a good wife; but I understand you are not going +to take her away at once." + +It was another wet afternoon. Lancelot came into the kitchen, and Hope +and he had it to themselves. + +But Hope could not be idle. It was ironing afternoon, and she went on +steadily with her work whilst he sat in the window and chafed at it. + +"I hate to be idle, whilst you are working. It is a miserable life for +you." + +"It is a useful and a happy one." + +Hope looked across the table at him a little defiantly. He smiled at +her, and the gloom disappeared from his eyes. + +"Ah!" she said. "That is better. Now talk to me; let me hear your +plans. We have such a short time left together." + +"I feel," he said, "as if I cannot go to India and leave you like this. +It makes me inclined to chuck it up, and take possession of the old +place in the North." + +"But what good would that do? I could not come to you. No, our +circumstances fit in very well. I have my work and you have yours. We +will leave the future." + +"I shall be feeling that you may be ill from overwork. You have no one +who looks after you, or who cares whether you are well or ill." + +"I could write," suggested Hope softly. + +"Your letters will be my life," Lancelot exclaimed. + +She shook her head. + +"They will be very unsatisfactory. I am not given to letter-writing. I +don't understand the art." + +"Will you promise to wire to me if you are in any difficulty?" + +"Yes." + +Then she gave a happy little laugh. + +"It's delicious to feel I have some one to whom I can turn!" she said. + +"And," went on Lancelot, looking at her intently, "I want, or my mother +wants you to do her a favour. She has a useful maid who can turn her +hand to anything. She has arranged to leave her in England, giving her +board-wages, as she wants to keep her. Could you possibly fit her in +here? You would find her invaluable. She is a country girl and enjoys +the idea of it. It would be such a relief to my mother if you could +take her in." + +The colour mounted into Hope's cheeks. She went on ironing one of the +boys' shirts, and she seemed entirely absorbed in it. Then, after a +minute's silence, she looked up. + +"It is very kind of you; I can't help seeing through it, you know! But +it wouldn't work at all! You must let me go my own way, and believe +that I am happy and well in it." + +"Don't be proud." + +"There is a certain kind of pride that is justifiable!" + +"Not this kind. My mother will talk to you. Can you come to see her +to-morrow? She is not well enough to come out, but she is longing to +have you with her." + +"I will see if I can manage it." + +There was silence; then, as Hope put her iron back on the stove and +prepared to take up another, he came swiftly round the table and +prevented her. + +"You are unapproachable with that table between yourself and me. Come +and sit down, and drop your pride and your virtuous industry. I want +you for myself. I want you to show me your heart. I will teach you how +to do it. I am wholly and entirely selfish this morning, and your work +must stop." + +The loving mastery in his tone overcame her scruples. + +For the next half-hour they sat together in the deep window-seat, and +talked as only lovers can. + +"I knew that we should come together the very first time I saw you," he +assured her. + +"But we very nearly did not," said Hope, a troubled light coming into +her eyes. "I sacrificed my pride when I ran after you. I don't know how +I could have done it! What did you honestly think of me? Tell me now." + +"I thought you an angel of goodness in turning my dark hour into a +paradise!" + +"You will never bring it up against me? It is curious that, though I +was so full of doubts and fears before, now I wonder that I could have +ever thought it possible to send you away. Oh, Lancelot, I hope I shall +never disappoint you! I feel so full of thanksgiving, so sure that God +Himself has brought us together. You will help me in so many things. I +suppose it is having to arrange so much myself that makes me long to +have some one to arrange for me." + +"That I will gladly undertake," said Lancelot, in such a keen tone that +Hope laughed at him. + +"Have your way with me now, for I know that my tractable mood will not +last. I shall soon rebel, I warn you." + +Their time came to an end. Mr. St. Clair wanted his daughter, and +Lancelot drove home, wondering how he could sail for India, when he +would be obliged to leave Hope behind. + + +It was three or four days afterwards that Hope got over to see Mrs. +Dane. Their meeting was very quiet, but Mrs. Dane embraced her, with +tears in her eyes. + +"I have always coveted you for a daughter," she said, "and now I have +you." + +"But not for long," said Hope pathetically. "You are going to leave me +as well as Lancelot. I shall have no friends left." + +"Do you know what I have been thinking?" said Mrs. Dane. "I wondered +if you would like to bring your father to this house for the rest of +the winter. Your brother would get on very well where he is. I shall be +obliged to leave some of my servants here doing nothing. It is so bad +for them, and it would be a charity if you came here and looked after +them. And my housemaid is such a nice woman; she was a hospital nurse +once, and she would be so delighted to attend on your father." + +"Dear Mrs. Dane, your plans are overwhelming!" Hope tried to laugh, +but she was profoundly touched by the Danes' efforts to leave her in +greater comfort. "It couldn't be," she said. "Father needs Brian more +than he does me, otherwise Brian would have gone to Canada; and we +settled, after our experience in Aunt Gertrude's house, that big houses +were a mistake for us. We have very small needs, and a very small +place suits us best. But I can't thank you enough for such kindness of +thought." + +"I wish you could be married at once," said Mrs. Dane, looking at her +wistfully. "I don't like leaving you where you are!" + +Hope blushed and laughed again. + +"I should be frightened by such a sudden proceeding. I don't know +Lancelot very well yet, and sometimes, when he adopts a very masterful +tone with me, I feel a little afraid of him." + +"Ah, you need never feel that. A good son makes a good husband. He is +so wonderfully tender and considerate with women. His only fault is +a little hardness of judgment which he shows towards those who have +not the same high code of principles as he has himself. He wants the +softening influence of a wife. I have often told him so." + +"Tell me more about him." + +Hope sat and listened with glowing eyes to a mother's description of a +son. + +And when she had left, Mrs. Dane turned round and delighted her son's +heart by her talk about Hope. + +The engagement was soon known. Kitty Parr was only half-pleased about +it. + +"You are too good to last!" she exclaimed. "I might have known you +would soon get married and go away. My theory is, that some women have +sufficient qualities in themselves to be better and happier without +husbands than with them. And I hoped and thought that you were one of +them. Silly, feeble-minded, diffident and irresolute women ought to +marry. They want the balance of a strong decided character to live +with them. And a very strong-minded, hard and brusque woman ought to +marry a nice, gentle, meek little man. Every house wants the balance +well adjusted. Don't laugh at me; I talked it over with our old doctor +here. He understood, for he makes up mixtures, and he puts in one thing +to counteract the effect of the other. We have a good mixture in our +house. Avice is soft and sweet; I am brusque and hard. Father is a +blending of both of us. I go to one extreme, Avice goes to the other, +and he keeps us together in the middle. + +"But you're sweet and gentle, and yet I've seen you turn upon those +imps of boys and be as firm as a rock, and as hard. You're gay and +grave by turns. You're dainty and fragile-looking, and at the same time +have as much go as I have. You don't really want a husband at all. Your +character is complete in itself." + +"Thank you, Kitty, but women don't take husbands to complete their +characters." + +"Well, they ought, if they want happy homes," said Kitty stoutly. + + +Jim Horrocks turned up in person to hear about it. He had always +threatened Hope that he would come down one day when she least expected +him, and carry her off from her "treadmill," as he termed it. + +He arrived one afternoon when Hope was busy baking, and she did not +welcome him effusively. + +"Why didn't you let me know you were coming?" she asked him. + +"Because you would have fussed round and done the idle lady, and I +wanted to catch you as the slavey!" he retorted. + +"I am not ashamed of what I do," she said, a little hotly. "But I would +have done my baking this morning, and so would have had more time with +you. Now you must sit still in this hot kitchen and talk to me, for I +can't stop making bread." + +"You're very fetching in the way you do it," he said, regarding her +critically with his head on one side. "I've come down to congratulate +you, I suppose; but upon my honour, I don't know what this fellow is +like. And I feel I should like to advise caution. He may have worked +upon your mind in these wilds, and unless he's an out of the way good +sort, he isn't the man for you. When I think of the men you have +scorned to look at (your humble servant amongst them), I do feel rather +grousy with this immaculate hero, who has stepped in and won so easily!" + +Hope laughed and flushed a little. + +"Don't be an old grandfather, Jim! Lancelot is one in a thousand; you +need not be at all uneasy. And I am not going to run away from my life +here at present. I like it too well. I am useful at last. You know how +often I wished to be in my old life. My heart's desire has been granted +to me!" + +"Oh!" groaned Jim, with a doleful face. "Of course, if his name is +Lancelot, that explains all. There never was a woman yet who didn't +fall down and worship any Lancelot! I wish I knew my Tennyson better, +and could spout the praises of King Arthur's beloved knight! But I +suppose you endue your hero with all the virtues of the other chap!" + +"If you are going to sneer, Jim, you had better have kept away!" + +"Oh, don't be angry! I beg pardon humbly. And I honestly am thankful +you will be coming back to a proper state of life soon. This is an +unnatural and shocking environment; that is the way science would put +it." + +"I don't find you half so nice as you used to be, Jim." + +He looked at her half-wistfully, half-comically. + +"I am getting older," he said. "Life is not managed as it should be. +I'm finding fault with it. Now don't preach. There's a look in your +eyes that says you want to be at me. I came down prepared to be nasty. +Truth will out. You want me to be glad that you're engaged to this +charming knight of yours. I don't know him, so I don't like him. I +should have preferred you to marry some one I knew and liked. And I +hear he is going to take you to India. That's a rotten country for +women; they go to pieces, physically and morally, and they come home +with yellow skins and a liver!" + +"You ridiculous boy!" + +Then Jim laughed. He had had his say, and felt the better for it. + +Hope finished her baking, then made him help her to get tea, and he +quite enjoyed himself. When he departed, he said to her: + +"I suppose I shall have to send you a wedding-present, but I shall +be hard up for the next two years, so take pity on me and don't get +spliced before that!" + + +It seemed to Hope that the days flew by, only giving her snatches of +time to see her lover. And then the last day came, and in his arms she +gave way to tears. + +"I am only getting to know you now! What shall I do without you? Life +will not be worth living!" + +"Shall I give my post up and stay? But you would despise me if I did, +and I should despise myself!" + +"Of course you must go. I am ashamed of myself." + +Hope pulled herself together, and smiles took the place of tears. + +He was white to his lips when he kissed her for the last time. + +"Think of me and pray for me, and may God watch over you and keep you +till we meet again." + +Hope watched him down the red-bricked walk, feeling that he was taking +the best part of her with him. She would have liked to go up to town +and see them sail, but she could not be spared. He left her about five +o'clock in the afternoon. + +The next morning she received her first letter from him. + +It was but a pencil note, but the contents filled her heart with rest +and quiet: + + "MY OWN DARLING,—Just a line. Mother and I are comfortably settled in +our cabins and they're going to take the letters ashore. What can I +say! I think I will give you a verse of your favourite hymn. May it +comfort you as it is comforting me. + + "'Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away? + In Jesus' keeping we are safe, and they.' + + "Yours always, + LANCELOT." + +The words of the hymn rang in her ears for many a day after, and the +peace was given to her. + +Kitty looked at her and marvelled. She had a young girl's quick +insight; and she knew that Hope's very quietness, as she went about her +work, was a sign that she suffered. + +"It is so stupid when women get engaged," she confided to Brian, as she +was helping him feed the poultry one afternoon. + +"Is it?" he said, amused. "They don't seem to think so." + +"Perhaps not, but everybody round them does. I don't see the use of +being engaged. It's rotten. Don't laugh. If I liked a man, I would +either marry him or not marry him; I would have no stupid waiting-time, +it only makes everybody miserable." + +"I don't think that would answer always," said Brian, looking at her +reflectively. "Half a loaf is better than no bread! And if people can't +marry, at all events they're booked for it, and that's a comfort to +them." + +"But it isn't! You watch any couple who are booked, as you call it. +They're always absent and uncomfortable unless they're together. They +can think of nothing else; they lose all their enjoyments if they're +away from each other, and are quite different altogether." + +"Well, when your time comes, you can set an example of a speedy +marriage," said Brian, laughing. + +"Oh, I shan't marry at all. I'm not the stuff for it. I shall be a +strong-minded old maid, and live in a house like this, with plenty of +animals. I shall be quite content." + +But Brian nodded his head knowingly. + +"Your day will come," he said. + +"Rubbish!" Kitty retorted. "Don't let us talk of such things. If I +say anything about marriage, Avice looks quite shocked. 'You're too +young, Kitty, to discuss such matters.' As if there is a matter I +can't discuss at my age! And I love talking. I have such a torrent of +thoughts that it's quite a relief to let some out." + +"Go ahead, then," said Brian. "I'll be your safety-valve." + +"Let us discuss Hope. She is such a darling! I look at her sometimes +as she moves about her kitchen, and I picture her in white satin and +diamonds moving about a ballroom. Isn't it funny the difference between +people? I honestly don't care for good people. There's a Miss Baker who +lives two miles from us. You will have seen her in church. She sits +under the pulpit, with a black bonnet and a mauve feather. She really +belongs to another parish, but she quarrelled with her vicar, and has +come over to us. She talks to father like the mediæval saints in the +stained-glass windows, with her eyes rolled up, her elbows close to her +sides, and her hands clasped. Father says she may not be interesting, +but she's thoroughly good and worthy! I can't bear her. Now, Hope is +really good. I've had lots of little sermons from her, and I've really +enjoyed them. I think it is because she has such a way of smiling at +you with her eyes, as if she loved you." + +"Hope's all right," said Brian gruffly. + +"Yes," went on the warm-hearted girl. "I feel as if I should really +like to be like her. She makes you feel that serving God is not only +intensely interesting, but awfully jolly—well, perhaps that's not quite +the expression, but you know—quite the very nicest way of living! Now +Avice never makes me feel that, with all her goodness! Oh, Hope's much +too good to go out to India, or to marry!" + +Brian laughed out. Kitty always amused him. She would toss her red +hair over her shoulder, and her eyes would blaze and quiver with light +and earnestness. Her whole body seemed to vibrate with feeling as she +talked, and her moods were always intense and passionate. + +Her father wondered why she spent so many hours at the cottage, but was +quite content that she should do so; and Kitty had always one answer to +make to any objections raised. + +"I want to make myself useful, and I love to be with Miss St. Clair. +She does me good." + +[Illustration: "I THINK YOUR NAME OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN PEACE," SAID +KITTY.] + + + +Chapter XVI + +A LONG NIGHT + +TO Hope, the brief time she had had with Lancelot before he sailed, now +seemed like a dream. But she could write to him; she had some one to +whom she could unbosom herself, and she no longer felt her loneliness. +In spite of his absence, she was able to go about her daily duties with +a shining radiant face. Kitty said to her one day: + +"I think your name ought to have been Peace, there's such a look of +that in your eyes. But perhaps hope brings peace, does it?" + +"I think a certain hope does," rejoined Hope, looking at Kitty +thoughtfully. + +"Now how can hope be certain?" Kitty enjoyed an argument. "Hope always +seems to me," she went on, "to necessitate doubt. Otherwise, you would +do more than hope." + +"What is the dictionary definition?" said Hope. "Isn't it anticipation, +a desire or expectation? I always think our hope as Christians is +anticipation, and certain anticipation of the future fills one with +peace." + +"I shall never, never be filled with peace," asserted Kitty. "You +are like a sweet clear lake, and I am a hot mineral spring, always +bubbling, fizzing, and spouting, when I ought to be quiet. I am in a +perpetual fizz, and unless I can work off my energy I explode, as you +know." + +"But, dear Kitty, the peace is for you as well as for me." + +"Yes, but our natures are different." + +"And our circumstances," added Hope. + +Yet in thought she looked back, and saw herself rushing through her +London seasons, always gay, always ready for everything, and yet always +painfully restless in her spirit. She began to wonder at herself, then +she said: + +"My quiet life here helps me, Kitty. I have no one to worry me." + +"Not the imps, as I call them? You wait till their holidays begin, and +that will be in three days' time, now!" + +"Well, perhaps I shall find their element very disturbing, but I don't +know; nothing really touches your inner life, if it is given up to Him +Who is our peace." + +But Hope found that her serenity was sadly tried that Christmas, and +not being perfect by any means, it broke down more than once. The boys +were in rollicking spirits, and the tiny cottage could not contain them +sometimes. Brian set them to work sawing wood, and taking the poultry +to the railway station. He had bought the little donkey and donkey-cart +from Miss Rill, and nothing delighted the boys more than to drive it +about. But they could not be doing that every day, and Hope counted +each day, as it went by, to the end of the holidays. + +Christmas was a very quiet time at the cottage. Hope had no money to +spend on luxuries, and told the boys that they must expect no presents. +However, on Christmas Eve, to their astonishment, a neighbour informed +them that a hamper for them had arrived at the station, and was waiting +there to be fetched. The boys were frantic with excitement, and Brian +being away with the cart, they started off at once, and arrived an hour +later breathless and exhausted, having carried the hamper between them +the whole of the way. + +"It's directed to us, Hope!" they screamed, as soon as they saw her. +"And we couldn't wait, and we've opened it; and there's nothing but +parcels of all sorts in it." + +"You had better unpack it at once," suggested their sister; "perhaps +you will find a note from some one in it." + +But there was no clue. It had been sent from the Army and Navy Stores. +There were books and games for the boys, preserved fruits, chocolates, +a large iced cake, a thick soft rug for Mr. St. Clair, a book for +Brian, and in a small box a gold bracelet for Hope. The names were +printed on the respective gifts. + +Hope took her bracelet and walked to the window to look at it. And then +the words engraved inside told her what she had already guessed. They +were these: + + "Num. vi. 24, 25, 26." + +Only Lancelot could have sent her that. She went out of the room and +got hold of her Bible, and she read the words with tears dimming her +eyes. + + "The Lord bless thee and keep thee. + The Lord make His face shine upon thee, and be gracious + unto thee. + The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee and give + thee peace." + +When she told the boys who had sent the hamper, they wondered if it had +come all the way from India. Hope explained that he must have ordered +it before he left London; and his thoughtfulness in the rush of his +last day in town was very sweet to her. The hamper was a great success. +And the Christmas Day that followed, though quietly spent, was a very +happy one. + +Peace, the great Christmas gift, reigned in Hope's heart, and through +her was reflected on those around her. She was able to go to church in +the morning, and Kitty, who had been like a bit of quicksilver all the +week, met her outside and pressed a packet into her hand. + +"I'm very poor, but I sat up last night and made it for you, after we +had finished the decorations in the church. I wish it was a better +offering." + +It was a dainty work-bag, with her initials worked in holly-berries +across it. Kitty's clever fingers had made a great success of it, and +Hope came home feeling that she was rich in friends. + + +After Christmas, there was a long spell of wet. Mr. St. Clair, who had +seemed to be improving in health, flagged again, and a doctor had to +be summoned. He looked grave, enjoined great quiet, and informed Brian +that he feared another seizure. + +Of course Brian carried this verdict to his sister, and some anxious +days and nights followed. + +Hope's spirits sank a little; the weather outside and her cares within +proved hard to combat. She watched her father anxiously, and spent the +greater part of her days in his room. Their orchard became swamped with +water, and Brian had hard work to keep his fowl-houses dry. + +One afternoon, Kitty arrived in great excitement. It was streaming with +rain, but she seemed impervious to weather. + +"Isn't this rain awful?" she said. "We have had three weeks on end; and +do you know the river is rising so high that people are afraid of it +flooding? Father can remember a flood twenty years ago. The weir burst +and overflowed. Isn't it exciting! I can't help hoping it will do it +again." + +"You dreadful child!" said Hope, with a smile. "You don't realise what +it would be, or you would not talk so. We should fare very badly here, +for we are close to the weir, and below the level of it." + +"I suppose you are. I shouldn't like you to be inconvenienced, but I +wouldn't mind our old Vicarage being flooded. We ought to get some +boats ready. There's one cottage much lower than you, and that's old +Mrs. Pitman's. She's right in a hole, and the water would be sure to +flood her. I've been up to the weir. All the village boys are watching +it, and old John Strong told me that the river has never been so high +since the last flood." + +"You are making me quite anxious," said Hope. + +Brian, standing by, laughed. + +"Well," he said, "time enough when it comes to be that; but this +long spell of wet is bad for everything, and the wind is getting up. +There'll be a good storm to-night. I don't think you'll be troubled at +the Vicarage, Miss Kitty. You're too high up." + +"No," said Kitty, sadly, "I'm afraid we are. I do love a fresh +sensation. Old people talk of the flood of seventy-three. I should like +to have one to talk about when I get old!" + +"You won't suffer from lack of subjects to talk about!" said Brian, +looking at her with twinkling eyes. + +"No, life is so full. I must be going home. I just thought I would run +down and warn you. They're actually going to have a watchman by the +river to-night. Father thought it wise." + +Kitty disappeared, and Hope, as evening drew on, felt strangely nervous. + +"Do you really think there is danger?" she asked her brother, when he +came in from his evening round. + +He did not answer for a moment, then he said, "I've just been to the +river to have a look. If it rises a few inches higher, it will be +over its banks. I'm afraid it will be awfully serious for us. I'm +thinking of the fowls. We can't afford to lose them. And I'm more than +half-inclined to move father upstairs. I wander if we could manage it!" + +"Oh, Brian!" + +Hope's tone was full of dismay. + +"The doctor said he must be kept so very quiet, and he has been so +restless and excited to-day. I believe it would be the finishing +stroke. And how could we get him up those narrow stairs?" + +"We could take him up in a blanket. Well, we can wait; Joe Garth is +watching. You'll be amused; he has got an old huntsman's horn, and if +he blows it, we shall know the weir has burst!" + +"I think it is quite dreadful!" said Hope. "I feel that nothing could +amuse me at this crisis." + +At this juncture the boys burst into the cottage. They were half an +hour late. + +"We've been watching the river!" Jerry cried excitedly. "The weir is +like Niagara; the water is rushing and swirling like mad. We're going +to have a flood. Everybody says so. Isn't it jolly!" + +"Hurrah!" shouted Toby, dancing round the kitchen. "And Joe says we'd +better look out, for the water will come straight down to us!" + +"Hush, boys, be quiet, because of father! I wouldn't let him hear of +this for worlds!" + +The little party sat down to supper, but Hope's ears were strained to +listen to the tempest that increased in violence every moment. And when +she thought of her sick helpless father, she shuddered. Brian also was +ill at ease. At last he got up from the table. + +"Come, youngsters," he said to his small brothers; "I'm going to move +the fowls up to the loft above the old barn at the back of us. Bring +the lantern and help me!" + +The boys were delighted. Hope said nothing. At another time she would +have thought of the streaming clothes she would have to dry, now she +did not seem to care. She went back to her father's room, and was glad +to find him half-asleep. The wind and rain did not disturb him. She sat +down by the window and prayed that they might be kept safely through it +all, and then she listened with beating heart to the rush of the river +in the distance. An hour had passed before Brian returned, and then he +called to Hope. + +She came out quickly. + +"We've got all the poultry safe. What do you think about father?" + +"He is sleeping. Don't let us disturb him unless it is absolutely +necessary." + +"It seems," said Brian, "that the Vicar wanted to keep the boys there +to-night. Shall we send them up? It would be a relief to get rid of +them: They're so excited that they'll never go to bed." + +"It would be a good thing," said Hope, "except that they are wet +through." + +"Oh, that doesn't matter; they would get wet again going up there. It's +coming down in torrents!" + +The boys had overheard this whispered discussion, and met it with a +howl of indignation. "We won't go! We shall miss all the fun; besides, +we can be so useful helping to take the furniture out!" + +"There'll be none of that, if there is a flood," rejoined Brian +sharply. "Give them what they want for the night, Hope, and let them go +at once!" + +With many protests, the boys were packed off. + +Hope made up the kitchen fire. Nine o'clock, ten o'clock came, and then +Brian suggested her going to bed. + +"I think the rain is stopping," he said. "Lie down somewhere at any +rate. I'll call you if anything happens. I shall be sitting with +father!" + +"I would rather be here. You see, we should have so little time. Do you +think we should be safe upstairs, Brian, if we were flooded?" + +"Oh yes, it wouldn't be so bad as all that. At all events, we could try +it. They say they have boats ready if it comes to the worst." + +"It would kill father!" said Hope quietly. + +"I fancy it must be going down, or we should have heard the alarm +before this." + +Hope settled herself in the easy chair by the fire. She tried not to +think. Brian went to his father, and the cottage settled down into +perfect quiet. The ticking of the kitchen clock was the only thing that +broke the monotony of silence; occasionally a coal fell on the hearth, +and Hope found herself starting as if a pistol had been going off in +her ear. Eleven o'clock struck. Hope began to feel sleepy. Her head +nodded, and then suddenly she sprang to her feet. The horn was sounding! + + "Oh, God help us!" was her prayer. + +Hanging on a chair by the fire was a blanket which she had thoughtfully +placed there. She was at the door of her father's room with it on her +arm, as Brian opened it. + +"That's right!" he said in a whisper. "Keep cool and steady, Hope, and +we shall manage it." + +They went into the sick-room. Mr. St. Clair opened his eyes wonderingly +at Hope. + +"We're going to move you upstairs to-night, father, dear," she said, +steadying her trembling voice. "We think it will be better for you." + +Mr. St. Clair shook his head violently. Hope was beginning to explain +when Brian stopped her. + +"Act, don't talk!" he said. "We haven't a moment to lose." + +In an incredibly short time Brian, as deftly as any woman, had rolled +his father up in a blanket, and instructed Hope how to hold one +corner of it. It was a breathless task. The invalid got very excited, +and began to babble incoherently. The narrow staircase made it very +difficult to carry him up, but Brian seemed to have the strength of +a Hercules, and it was done at last, and Mr. St. Clair was laid upon +Hope's bed. Brian had thought it all out; he did not say so to his +sister, but her room had the biggest window, in case of the need of an +exit through it. + +And then, while Hope was trying to make her father comfortable, Brian +dragged upstairs all the food he could find, and a good deal of the +furniture from below. When Hope could stop to listen, she had hard work +to repress the shiver that ran through her. + +The roar and rush of water seemed to come nearer and nearer. She looked +out of the window, and saw by the light that came through the clouds +from the moon, a silver stream coming down a narrow lane that led up +from their orchard to the road above. + +And then resolutely she turned away from the sight, and gave all her +attention to her father, who was needing it. Brian was on his knees now +lighting up the fire with some kindling he had brought from the kitchen. + +"You'll be all right here, Hope, for a bit. You won't mind if I leave +you? I want to find out the extent of the mischief outside, and my help +may be needed." + +Hope's heart sank. + +"You won't leave us here to drown?" she said, and then she was ashamed +of herself. "We shall be all right. You will not be very long. Go by +all means." + +"I want to find out if a boat could be had. Of course we may not need +it, but it is well to be prepared." + +He went downstairs and out into the stormy night. + +Hope wished for a moment that she were a man. + +"They always have the easiest part to play, the active part," she said +to herself. "It is much harder to sit still in suspense and wait." + +There was a loud outburst of wind and water, Mr. St. Clair opened his +eyes, then suddenly called out: + +"Hope, where am I?" + +Hope bent over him, startled. He had not spoken for months; now she +wondered if it were a good or bad sign that he had recovered his speech. + +"We have moved you upstairs, father." + +"Why? Am I dying? Is that the rush of water I hear? Put me back in my +own bed again. At once, at once!" + +He spoke quickly and excitedly, and struggled to move himself. + +Hope tried to soothe him. + +"You hear the river, father; it is a stormy night. We were afraid of +the damp coming in downstairs; that was why we moved you. You are quite +comfortable, are you not? Brian will be here soon. He has just gone +out." + +"Is it night or day? Why'sh—all a muddle—ish oughtn't to be dark'sh—" + +His voice thickened and died away. He seemed to be falling asleep. +Hope did not try to rouse him, but she watched him anxiously. She did +not like the sound of his heavy breathing. And meanwhile the water was +creeping nearer and nearer; it had filtered down through the orchard, +it had reached the cottage door, and was washing and lapping against +the doorposts like the waves of the sea. Hope opened the casement +window cautiously, but only the roar of the wind and the rush of the +water met her ears. She shut it hastily, then leaving her father for a +moment, went down the narrow stairs into the kitchen. + +She stared, candle in hand, at the threshold. The water was pouring in, +the swirling, sucking sound of it as it found its way under the door +made her shudder. She snatched up a few of her books that were lying on +the window-sill and went upstairs again. + +"It's a gruesome experience!" she thought. "I wonder if we were wise to +move father up here! What shall I do if the water rises to us! It is so +dreadful to be tied here, and yet, of course, father was unfit to be +carried further." + +She peered out of the window again, but the clouds had obscured the +moon, and she could see nothing. Then she heard the bleating of sheep, +and fancied she could distinguish men's voices above the raging storm. +She paced her bedroom softly, praying for quietness of spirit, and +every moment or two she would listen to the lap and splash of the +water below. Soon she went out to the staircase again, and to her +horror found the water had filled the kitchen and was slowly but surely +mounting the stairs. Then she set herself the task of timing its rise. +There were twelve steps. She found it took ten minutes to cover one of +them. If it went on rising at that same rate, the water would reach +them in two hours' time. Then if Brian were not back, what should she +do? + +[Illustration: THE WATER WAS SLOWLY BUT SURELY MOUNTING THE STAIRS.] + +Would he never return? She felt angry with him for deserting her at +such a crisis. + +Again Mr. St. Clair spoke, and this time she had to bend her head and +listen, though his words were perfectly clear. + +"Read me the Bible." + +Thankfully she sat down and obeyed. She turned to the Psalms for the +evening. Was it merely a coincidence that she should have to read the +121st Psalm? + + "'I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence + cometh my help. + My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and + earth. + He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: He that keepeth + thee will not slumber.'" + +And so on to the end. As she repeated the last verse— + + "'The Lord shall preserve thy going out, and thy coming + in, from this time forth, and even for evermore,'" + +her father repeated drowsily: + + "'Even for evermore.'" + +Hope bent over him, a little anxious at his tone. He was lying back +peacefully, but when she asked him if she could do anything for him, he +did not reply. She hoped from his breathing that he was settling off to +sleep again, and once more she went to the top of the stairs. + +The rise of the water fascinated her. She went into the boys' room, and +flung the window wide open. Here she had a more extensive view than in +her own room, but it was not a reassuring one. Everywhere round the +cottage was a shining expanse of water, the apple-trees looked ghostly +as they reared their gnarled trunks and leafless boughs out of the +water. Hope almost imagined they were human creatures raising their +limbs and crying out for help. The cottage was so much in a hollow +that no other house was in sight; she looked in vain for a twinkling +light that might tell her of a lantern approaching. At last she closed +the window with a weary sigh, but as she did so, a sudden rift in the +clouds disclosed the silver moon, and Hope took it as an omen for good. +Looking upwards she repeated: + + "'I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. +My help cometh from the Lord.'" + +And she went back to her father with a smile upon her lips, and peace +in her heart. + + + +Chapter XVII + +HOMELESS + +STILL the water mounted. Would Brian never come, and would the night +never end? After a time, Hope began to fear lest something had happened +to her brother. She eyed the window nervously and apprehensively. +That, and that only, was their means of exit now, unless the water +sank as quickly as it had risen. She went once more to the stairs, and +found it was nearly to the top. Then she feared that the old walls +of the cottage might be so undermined with the water that it would +all collapse. She shook the casement window. Brian had brought up his +toolbox, so she very deliberately began to loosen the hinges and the +frame. She was thankful the wood was so old and rotten that it gave +away under her blows. Her father seemed unconscious of the noise, and +indeed the storm of wind and rain that still shrieked down the chimneys +and round the cottage drowned everything else. + +"They must come to our rescue," she repeated to herself; and then, as +she raised her eyes for the hundredth time, she saw lanterns flashing +in the distance. She caught her breath in suspense. + +Were they coming towards the cottage? Would they pass her by? And then +with relief and thankfulness she heard Brian's shout, and the splash +of oars. They were coming along the road in a boat. Every now and then +obstacles got in their way, and they were caught in trees and bushes; +but once she was convinced that rescue was near, she began to make her +preparations. When they eventually reached the window, Brian looked up. + +"I have been delayed, but I never thought the water would rise so +rapidly. Are you ready? We have a ladder; I will come up." + +It seemed only a few minutes now before Brian and the two men with him +accomplished the rescue. It was a difficult task carrying Mr. St. Clair +down, and when he was in the boat, Brian bent over him anxiously. + +"He is bad!" he said shortly to Hope. + +"I am afraid he is. I don't like his breathing. He seems quite +unconscious; but he has spoken quite plainly twice." + +No more was said. It was as much as the men could do to steer the boat +safely along. Hope looked back at the cottage. + +"Are we leaving it to its fate?" she asked. + +"We must till the morning. This will mean ruin to a good many besides +ourselves." + +"Where can we go?" + +"Mrs. Goddles' cottage is safe, being above the level of the river. She +is prepared to take you in." + +Half an hour later, Mr. St. Clair was comfortably settled in bed in +Mrs. Goddles' best bedroom. + +The good woman seemed too scared to be garrulous. But when she had done +all that was required of her, and brought Hope a cup of tea, her tongue +was unloosed. + +"'Tis an awful visitation, miss! My 'usband, 'e be up at the weir +diggin' and workin' hisself to death. There be five cottages, bottom +end of village, covered right up; 'The Crown' be crowded out with the +women and children; an' Mr. Brian have covered 'imself with glory this +night. He have saved life after life! He swims like a fish, and is so +hard an' strong. Why, the men have bin takin' his orders right through. +Dr. Rush come along an hour gone. 'Doctor,' says I, 'the work be nearly +done, an' the waters, accordin' to Scripture, be abatin'.' 'E says—" + +"Stop!" cried Hope. "Is Doctor Rush in the village? Can we find him? He +ought to see my father." + +Brian had gone out again. Dawn was breaking, and there was plenty of +work for him, for the damage to cattle and crops was great, and the +farmers and villagers were working hard, trying to save all they could. + +"He be gone to old Squire Spencer. My 'usband 'ave been in an' told me +it all. T' old Squire went down to his stables, an' the river bursted +an' caught him betwixt the stable an' the house; an' he climbed a tree, +the Squire did; but 'e hollers, an' no one heard 'im, an' then 'e lost +his 'old an' tumbled into the water, an' 'e hollered agen an' Mr. Brian +heard 'im, an' he run along an' dashed in the water, an' took 'im on +his back, an' got 'im safe 'ome; but the old man have broke his leg, +an' Doctor Rush be with 'im now a-putting it together agen." + +"Oh!" said Hope. "Could any one go and tell him we want him? Could you +go, Mrs. Goddles?" + +"If so be the water will keep out of my way. 'Usband, 'e says we be +ten foot out o' danger, but what the road will be like I can't reckon. +Any-ways, I'll have a try, for I be likely to get the news, an' that be +worth 'earin'!" + +She put on her bonnet and cloak and departed. + +Again it was Hope's duty to watch by her father's bedside. It seemed to +her as if the past night had been one long nightmare; she even now felt +as if she might wake up and find it all a dream. + +A man presently ran by in the road. + +"'Tis over, the river be easin' down," he said, as he saw Hope's head +at the window. + +She heaved a sigh of relief. + +Before very long Mrs. Goddles returned with the doctor. He came +straight in, and without a word went to Mr. St. Clair's bedside. + +"I can't rouse him," said Hope; "he has been in this stupor for quite +two hours. I'm afraid the move was too much for him." + +"I expect it was," Dr. Rush said gravely. Then he looked at Hope in +silence for a minute. + +"You never will rouse him now," he said, "he is sinking fast!" + +Hope's heart nearly stopped beating; she could not believe it. + +"He spoke to me in the night twice! Surely he cannot be dying, Doctor? +Oh, where is Brian?" + +"I will try to find him, and send him to you. There is nothing to be +done. I will come in again shortly. It has been a terrible business, +this flood!" + +"But surely you will do something?" Hope asked desperately. + +"There is nothing to be done," was the quiet reply. "He does not +suffer, and the end will be peaceful." + +Hope put her head into her hands and burst into tears. The suspense of +the long night had thoroughly unnerved her. + +"I will send your brother to you," Dr. Rush repeated, and he left the +cottage. + +Poor Hope struggled for composure. She felt as if an end had come to +everything. Mrs. Goddles stood looking at her as if she hardly knew +what to say. + +"The poor dear gentleman!" she ejaculated at last. "Well, I ain't one +o' those who object to corpses in the house; the last one—" + +Hope broke away from her, shuddering, and locked herself into the +bedroom with her dying father. She opened the door a little later to +Brian. He was wet to the skin, his clothes saturated and heavy with +water, and his whole appearance dishevelled and weary. + +"I must change," he whispered, "if I can get a dry suit of clothes from +Mrs. Goddles, and then I will come to you." + +He stood for a second looking down upon his father with tender pitying +eyes. Then he disappeared, and when he came in again he was attired in +Bob Goddles' black broadcloth Sunday suit. Hope could have laughed, if +she had not been so sad, at the comical figure he cut. + +Together brother and sister watched by the inanimate form of their +father. Occasionally a whispered word passed between them. Hope told +Brian of her father's last words. + +"I so little thought they would be his last. I suppose he knew more +than I did that he was going to pass so soon from us, 'Even for +evermore.'" + +Two hours afterwards Mr. St. Clair quietly drew his last breath, and +Brian persuaded Hope to go into another room and take a rest. "Mrs. +Goddles and I will do everything that is necessary. You have been up +all night. Try to get some sleep." + +"The boys?" said Hope wearily. + +"I will go to the Vicarage. They will have to stay there for the +present. I'm sure the Vicar will keep them." + +Hope said no more. She was physically and mentally worn out. She threw +herself upon a small iron bed in the little attic room, and sleep came +mercifully to her at once. It was late in the afternoon when she awoke, +and then there was much to decide and arrange with her brother. + +The village, though still inundated in its low parts, was rapidly +recovering from the excitement into which it had been thrown. The water +was ebbing fast away, for a band of willing workers had cut channels +through the low-lying fields that took the water back to the river +lower down. Only one death had occurred besides Mr. St. Clair's, and +that was a baby of a few weeks old, who had been dropped by its mother +in her frantic flight, and had in falling struck its head against a +stone and expired instantly. But numbers of sheep had been drowned, and +several young bullocks. + + +In a day or two, all signs of the flood had disappeared. But King's +Dell Cottage was too damp to live in. Hope and Brian found lodgings +with Mrs. Goddles, whilst the boys were made at home in the Vicarage. +Mr. St. Clair's funeral was a very quiet one. After it was over, Hope +and Brian began to discuss the future. Their father's lawyer came down +from town, and he read the will that Mr. St. Clair had made the first +week he landed in England. To Hope's dismay, there was absolutely +no mention of her in it. Everything was left to Brian to be equally +divided between himself and his brothers. It was but a very small sum, +something under £3,000, and when Brian turned apologetically to his +sister, saying: + +"You see, father was entirely persuaded that Aunt Gertrude would +provide for you." + +She smiled and said: + +"It is not enough to divide at all, Brian. I am so glad you have it." + +"Well," he said, "of course you'll be going out to India soon." + +"And will you go back to Canada?" + +"Yes, I think so. Our cottage is such a wreck, and it's such hard work +in England, that I'll sell it cheap to any one who wants it." + +"Oh," said Hope, "don't give it up yet. I feel it will be a harbour of +refuge for me. There is no rent to pay, and we have the furniture, and +we have still the poultry." + +The lawyer went back to town, and the next morning Hope went over to +the cottage. Brian had received a summons to go to Mr. Spencer, so she +went alone. + +It was a sad sight. The orchard was a sea of mud and water; the +fowl-houses had all been swept away. Several apple-trees had been +rooted up. All Brian's careful tilling of the soil for vegetables had +come to nothing; the kitchen smelt and reeked with damp, tables and +chairs had become unglued and lay about the floor in bits, bedding and +small knick-knacks had been washed out of the windows upon the grass; +the red-bricked path was the only thing that seemed to have stood the +raging flood. + +Hope stood, feeling the desolation of it keenly. And then a fresh young +voice sounded in her ear. "Miss St. Clair, please don't look so sad! I +haven't had any talk with you alone yet since that dreadful flood! May +I stay with you a little, or would you rather be alone?" + +Hope turned and kissed Kitty affectionately. + +"We have been in such trouble, dear. I'm afraid I have been selfish. I +can't tell you how good it is of you to keep the boys at the Vicarage. +I hope they give no trouble." + +"No, I see they don't. They're awfully frightened of me, I can tell +you. I locked the imps in that night. Oh, how splendid your brother +was! Did you know all he did?" + +"I was too much engrossed with—" + +"Yes, I forgot. Forgive me, and though I can't spout sympathy like +Avice, I really am awfully sorry for you. I little thought what +tragedy would be mixed up with my time of excitement. And death is so +dreadful, it seems so horribly unnatural; and of course you're missing +him awfully, only I suppose he is having a much better time where he +is, isn't he? I can't talk religion, but you'll remember all that, of +course. Oh, you dear, do let me give you a hug; and be sure to send me +off if I worry you!" + +Hope was smiling through her tears. She drew Kitty's arm in hers, and +walked up and down the path, the only dry spot for their feet. + +"You're doing me good already. I won't be miserable. Death is not +horrible when you have hope through it for others." + +"Do you know that it was just a chance I'm not dead?" said Kitty +solemnly. "Do let me tell you. Of course I didn't go to bed that night, +and I slipped out of the house directly I heard the horn. You see, I +was dreadfully uneasy about old Mrs. Pitman, for I knew if the dam +burst by the weir, she would be flooded at once. So I tore off to her, +and sure enough the water was rushing into her little garden and all +round her house. She was in bed and asleep, poor old thing. You've no +idea what a business it was to wake her and dress her. She wouldn't +understand, and when the water at last came into her kitchen, then she +insisted upon being dressed in her very best. + +"'And my boots, me dear,' she said—'my Sunday 'lastic boots, they wants +a deal o' pulling. I gen'elly allows half-hour to that, for me feet are +so tender!' + +"When I'd got her out, we had to wade through the water up to our +knees. And then the poor old thing tumbled down, and a rush and swirl +of water carried her clean away from me. I saw her being washed away +in the current; I was so thankful I could swim, for I followed her and +caught hold of her, and then managed to get her up on the top of a +hayrick, which was half under water. + +"We sat on the top and shouted for help, and the water got higher and +higher. Then I heard your brother's voice. He told me to hold on, for +he was coming, but he couldn't get his boat very near us, for there was +a huge hedge between. So he got out and swam to us, and took old Mrs. +Pitman on his back in safety to his boat. Then he came back for me, but +before he could reach me, a great rushing wave swept me off and carried +me with the current just like Mrs. Pitman had gone. I struggled, but +it was no good, and then I felt I was drowning, and then in the nick +of time your brother gripped hold of me. I was so thankful, and so +grateful to him, for I made quite sure I was going to die. They say +in the village he saved quite a dozen people altogether, Mr. Spencer +included. He is quite a hero!" + +"I wish I had known," said Hope regretfully; "I had hard thoughts of +him when he left me." + +"He didn't forget you, for he kept saying, 'I must get back to Hope.' +Oh, dear, when it comes, I don't think a flood at all nice. The mud and +wet everywhere is awful, and what a ruin your pretty little cottage is! +Don't you feel inclined to cry over it? Shall we light some fires and +try to dry it up?" + +"I thought of doing that, but there are no dry sticks anywhere. +Everything is soaked with the water." + +"When are you coming back to it?" + +"I don't know our plans," Hope said sadly. "Now my father has gone, +Brian wants to go back to Canada. We shall stay on with Mrs. Goddles +for the present." + +Kitty was singularly silent. She seemed quite dismayed with such +tidings. + +"I thought you would be here always," she said at last. "It's too bad, +for I do like you all so much." + +They did not stay much longer at the cottage, and when they parted, +Hope said: + +"Don't look so unhappy, Kitty. We have not gone yet; and I do not mean +to go out to Canada, it is only Brian." + +"Only Brian!" repeated Kitty to herself, as she walked disconsolately +home. "But then he isn't 'only Brian' to me!" + + +That same evening Hope and her brother sat in Mrs. Goddles' best +parlour over the fire, and discussed their plans for the future. + +"That old Spencer is a rum chap," said Brian. "What do you think he +wants me to do? To live with him and manage his farms. Be a kind of +bailiff, in fact." + +"But that would be a good thing, would it not?" + +Brian shook his head. + +"No, his farms are going to pieces; he's so miserly that he won't +spend one penny unless it is forced from him by law. His bailiff is +to be pitied, I can tell you! He said he would treat me like a son. I +concluded I should make my home with him and receive no wages. That +wouldn't suit me. I told him I wanted to be independent." + +"Poor old man!" said Hope pityingly. "I believe he has taken a fancy to +you. I hope you refused his offer nicely." + +"Oh, it isn't me upon whom he has fixed his fancy. It is you. He can do +nothing but talk about you. He wants you to go and see him to-morrow. +It struck me that if I and the boys go back to Canada, you will not +want to come with us, for I suppose you will go out to India to be +married very soon." + +"I don't know," said Hope, quietly, "what I shall do." + +"Well, if you had only a month or two to wait, perhaps you could listen +to his proposal. I was made to promise I would say nothing till he had +seen you himself." + +"I am afraid I would not agree to any proposal," said Hope proudly. +"Mr. Spencer is a complete stranger to me." + +Then she was ashamed of herself. + +"Tell me," she said gently, "what you think of doing with the boys. +Father was so anxious they should have an English training." + +"I know, but how can we give it to them? There's no money to spare. As +it is, I shall have hard work to get sufficient for our passages. If +you had not been going to be married—" + +He paused. + +"Well, in that case what would you have done?" + +"I think I should have struggled on with our poultry for a bit." + +"And why are you in such a hurry to leave it?" + +"Because it will be so expensive to put all the outbuildings together +again. And as none of us mean to live there eventually, the sooner we +clear out the better. Have you written to Dane?" + +"No," Hope said. "The mail does not go till to-morrow, and I am +expecting to hear from him." + +"Can you go round to the old Squire to-morrow?" + +"Yes; if he really expects me, I must." + +Silence fell between them, which Hope broke by getting up from her seat. + +"I am very tired, Brian, so I think I will go to bed. Good-night!" + +She went upstairs to her tiny attic room, then bolted her door and gave +way to tears. + +"I don't know what I shall do! Brian evidently wants to do nothing for +me. I am absolutely penniless, and I cannot rush off to Lancelot at +a moment's notice. I can't bear Brian's eagerness for me to see Mr. +Spencer. I will not accept any favour from him. If only I could do +something to earn my living! How helpless and forlorn I feel! And what +would I not give for Lancelot at this moment!" + +Then her eyes fell upon her Bible. She took it up, and in reading +her evening portion and in pouring out her troubles to the One who +was ordering all things for her, she was comforted. She fell asleep +repeating to herself: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown? + Jesus we know, and He is on the throne.'" + + + +Chapter XVIII + +AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE + +HOPE'S Indian letter came to her the next morning, but the contents +filled her with dismay. + +Lancelot told her that he had just been appointed to another district. +It was only a temporary appointment, to take the place of a man who had +been granted a year's sick-leave, but he had no choice in the matter. + +"It is very trying," he said, "for the climate is an unhealthy one, +and there are only three months out of the year that my mother can +be with me. She has fortunately fallen in with very old friends of +hers, who have invited her to stay with them for the present. They are +delighted to have her, but she and I are disappointed at our necessary +separation." + +Hope sat with the letter before her in absolute despair. + +"Every one is failing me. Of course he does not know how I am situated, +and I will not let him know how I was depending upon soon going out +to him. What can I do? I must rouse myself and settle something. I +must, when writing, be able to tell him that I am comfortably settled +somewhere!" + +She felt at present she could not read this to Brian. Her nerves were +on edge; she dreaded lest he should think she would be a burden on his +hands. + +"I have indeed fallen between two stools," she thought. "No money from +my aunt; no money from my father. I suppose there are other women in my +plight. And I am young and strong. There must be some way of earning my +living. It is evident that Lancelot will not think of marriage for at +least a year, and I would do anything rather than force his hand. How I +wish I had some friend to advise me!" + +She ran over in her mind's eye her different friends. + +May Fosberry was abroad with her parents. Jim Horrocks was not the +person to take into her confidence. The Chesneys, with the exception of +Hester, had rather cooled off in their friendship since she had been at +King's Dell. Kitty Parr was very dear and nice, but a thorough child; +and poor Hope came to the conclusion that her pride would not let her +ask any one's help and advice. When she was in society with her aunt, +she had had many friends; now she was in seclusion and poverty they had +most of them disappeared. + +She roused herself at last. + +"I will go and see Mr. Spencer. I promised Brian that I would." + +It was a bright sunny morning, with a touch of frost in the air. After +the long, wet and relaxing, humid atmosphere, it was delicious to feel +the keen bracing wind that met her as she walked along. She had never +been to Mr. Spencer's house before. He had, in his eccentric fashion, +altered the name of it from "The Hall" to "The Retreat." He told Brian +that the very name of "The Hall" made people consider him richer than +he was, and much less would be expected from him if he did away with +the name. As she walked in at the rusty iron gates and noted the empty +half-ruined lodge, the moss-grown drive, and the unkempt shrubberies, a +sudden chill foreboding seemed to overshadow her. + +Then she looked up to the blue sky, and into her eyes crept an +indescribable peace. + +"'Jesus I know, and He is on the throne,'" she repeated softly to +herself; "He rules me and my future. I will trust myself to Him." + +"The Retreat" was an ugly, square, ivy-covered building. Half the +windows were shuttered. When she rang the bell, it seemed to echo +through empty passages, and for a long time she stood on the doorstep +waiting to be admitted. At last, an old woman appeared, who regarded +her curiously. + +"Yes, we knows the master wants to see you. This way, mum!" + +She led her along a dark and dusty oak-panelled hall. At the extreme +end was a curtained door, and the next minute she was ushered into the +old Squire's study and living-room. + +It presented a very comfortless and untidy aspect. The square table in +the middle of the room was covered with books and papers; a tray of +whisky-and-water and some medicine-bottles were also upon it. + +Guns, a few sporting prints, and foxes' brushes hung upon the walls. +In an easy chair by the fire, with his bandaged leg upon a bench, sat +Mr. Spencer. He had a red silk handkerchief round his throat instead +of a collar. An old corduroy shooting-coat, patched tweed breeches, +and coarse blue woollen stockings, with carpet slippers on his feet, +completed his attire. + +Hope's dainty taste felt repulsion at the sight of him and his +surroundings. + +He looked at her with kindliness dawning in his eyes. + +"The farmer's daughter!" he said, with a smile. "Ay, you humoured me +that day, but I've learnt more about you since. You seem to have been +in a peck of troubles, and I dare say you feel they couldn't be much +worse. The young always think they're at the end of everything when +trouble comes. The old look upon it as a necessary routine through +which to pass. I've as much to put up with as you, at present. For a +broken leg at my time of life means a long period of incapacity. You, +at least, have health and strength left to you." + +Hope's feelings underwent a change, and her smile was bright as she +replied: + +"Yes, and I'm thankful for my mercies." + +"That brother of yours did me a good turn," the old man went on, "so +I'm anxious to do you one. If it hadn't been for him, I should be in +my grave at present. Perhaps I was meant to be. I may have cheated +Death of his rights, and many would say I would be as well out of the +world as in it. It's astonishing how one clings to life, though it has +treated one shabbily." + +Hope looked sympathetic, but she did not speak. + +He regarded her earnestly. + +"Would you like to hear my experience of life?" + +"Indeed I should." + +"Some folk envy me my wealth. Wealth, God pity them! But there was a +time when I thought a bit of property a fine thing. I was very young +then, the youngest of four brothers and three sisters. My father was a +country parson with a family too big for his stipend. My mother stinted +and screwed and kept us out of debt, but died from the exertion of +it, and then we all went to pot, as the boys would say—you know the +style. Living as we liked, and having a reckoning-day occasionally, +when things would be sold to pay the pressing creditors. My father +died before I was out of my teens, and then we scattered; I went up to +a bank in London. I was a bit of a prig, but I never could forget my +mother's deathbed. + +"'Alan,' she said to me—I was her Benjamin—'never live beyond your +income. Debt is to be feared worse than death!' + +"And I acted up to my light accordingly. I did not make friends in +consequence. A young fellow who has no money to spend, and is careful, +is always rated low. I had a favourite sister, an invalid. I saved +enough out of my second year's salary to send her to the South of +France. Then I got engaged to a girl—a doctor's daughter, and as sweet +a creature as they're made. I saved up for our marriage, and I worked +hard for four years; then she grew tired of waiting and threw me over +for a wine-merchant's son—married him at once. + +"Even then my mother's words were my salvation. I didn't go to the +dogs, but I chucked up my berth and went out to America. I worked on a +ranch, and when all my brothers died, this old house came to me. I took +possession of it, and I hadn't a soul who cared enough for me to live +with me." + +"Are all your relations dead?" + +"There's one of my sisters somewhere, but I've lost sight of her, and +don't know her whereabouts. Why am I telling you this? Simply to show +you that a careful abstemious life is second nature to me. I've saved +all my life, and I try to save now. I'm not a rich man, and won't fling +my money about. So folks hate me." + +"Oh no!" + +Hope's tone was soft and pitiful. + +"I'm a miserable, lonely, old man," he went on; "I sit here all day +long without a soul to speak to. Hadley and his wife talk me over in +the kitchen together in the evening. I've heard them. They think that +by sticking to me they'll come in for a legacy. The liking that any one +professes to have for me is due to their expectations. Can any one be +in a worse plight than that? To be thought an encumbrance whilst one +lives, and one's death the greatest blessing of all! I tell you, I'm a +miserable old man, and I sit here all day and think about it!" + +Hope did not speak for a moment; then she said gently: + +"I suppose money itself can never be a blessing; it is only in the +spending of it!" + +Mr. Spencer's brows contracted, and he glared at her. + +"Are you a spendthrift?" he said. "I thought you otherwise!" + +"I haven't had much to spend," said Hope, smiling. "At least, I have +not—lately. A year ago, I spent carelessly. You see I have looked +at life from both ends, and I know that you can be happy in any +circumstances." + +"You could not be happy in mine." + +"I don't know that I could not." + +"I suppose you're like all the rest, you think you'd love to have the +handling of my poor income." + +"No," said Hope, decidedly. "My happiness is independent of that. I +dare say you can guess—my brother has told you—that we are not exactly +in an enviable position at present. We have no home, and no means to +provide one, and yet—may I say the little verse that keeps ringing in +my head: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown? + Jesus we know, and He is on the throne.'" + +"Oh, religion!" + +His tone was scoffing. "I want none of that." + +"Then you'll live and die miserable," said Hope. + +There was silence. + +Then he spoke in a different tone. + +"Look here. You say you could be happy in my circumstances. I've sent +for you to-day to come and teach me how to be. I told your brother that +I would treat you like a daughter. You've no home. I offer you one. +I only want you to talk to me; to brighten up the house; to see that +Mrs. Hadley does her duty. And I'll give you a little pocket-money. All +girls need that. Will you come?" + +Hope's first inclination was to laugh, then vexation took the place of +amusement. So this was what Brian meant when he seemed so eager for her +visit. How could she best decline his proposal without offending him? +she wondered. The very idea of living with him was repellent to her, +much as she pitied him. + +"Thank you very much, Mr. Spencer. It is kind of you to make me such +an offer. But I could not accept it; for if I go anywhere, it must be +where I can earn my living." + +He glanced at her quickly and sharply, with eyes of suspicion. + +"You are mercenary! My offer is not good enough. I said I would give +you pocket-money. I will give you fifteen pounds a year. I consider +that a handsome allowance, for you will have no expenses, and I +remember when I was a young bank clerk in London I dressed on that +myself." + +Hope rose from her seat. She was but human, and the old man's tone was +offensive. + +"No," she said, a little haughtily. "I am afraid I must decline your +handsome offer. Good morning." + +She made her exit swiftly, and as she went down the mossy drive, her +heart was in a tumult and tears were in her eyes. + +"It is dreadful to be poor, to be in such a position that a man of +that sort can patronise one! Oh, I would rather beg in the streets +than accept his bounty! Fifteen pounds a year! Doled out in shillings, +perhaps. Why, I used to give fifteen pounds for a single dress in town! +What shall I do? I must have another talk to Brian." + +On the way back to Mrs. Goddles' cottage, she thought she would like to +look in at what had been her home. She fancied she might, perhaps, find +Brian there, and she was not disappointed. + +Going up the garden path she saw him talking to a stranger in the +porch. He looked relieved when he saw her. + +"Here you are!" he called out to her. "You're just the person to give +some information. This gentleman wants to know how long it is since +Miss Rill departed, and where she is now." + +Hope looked at the stranger. + +He was a tall thin man, with stooping shoulders and grey hair. +Spectacles hid his eyes, but he seemed nervous and ill at ease. He was +clad in a shabby frock-coat and a tall hat. For a moment Hope wondered +if she could classify him. He was something between a scholar and a +chapel dignitary, she decided. + +He turned towards her and lifted his hat politely. + +"I read an account in the papers of the flood in this part," he said. +"I used to live here, and I came down to have a look at the old +neighbourhood again. It seemed to bring a good deal back to me. I was +afraid the lady who lived here might be incommoded, possibly turned +out by the water, but I find my fears were groundless. She no longer +resides here." + +"No," said Hope, the quick colour coming to her checks as she instantly +guessed the stranger's identity. + +"Miss Rill sold the place to us. She did not seem able to settle down; +she was restless. I fancy she was very lonely here. She went up to +London." + +The stranger looked about him, and patted the red-brick path nervously +with his foot. + +"It is a peaceful little spot," he said. "I hear you are giving it up. +Would you let me buy it from you? I am looking about for a cottage to +settle down in. I should like this for—for I have associations with it!" + +"We should be very glad to sell," said Brian, in his most business-like +tone. "You will see what damage the water has done; but I think a very +little expenditure would put it all right again. Would you like to go +over the house?" + +"Yes—yes, I should." + +He followed Brian indoors. Hope stood where she was, wondering if he +were the maker of the path, and if the end of a romance was being +unfolded before her eyes. + +The stranger gave Brian his name as Robert Manners, and Hope instantly +remembered it. + +She watched him walk round the orchard afterwards with her brother, and +when eventually they came back to her, she spoke. + +"I expect you knew Miss Rill, Mr. Manners?" + +"Yes," he replied quietly, "I did." + +"I suppose you have not come across her in London? It seemed such a +strange step for her to take at her time of life, and I am not sure +whether it will prove a wise one. I should not like to think of her as +being cheated by sharp landladies, and perhaps neglected. She has no +knowledge of town life and its ways, and has no friends to help her." + +[Illustration: SHE GAVE HIM MISS RILL'S ADDRESS.] + +"Where is she staying?" + +He asked it a little indifferently. Hope began to think he had +forgotten his old love, and was vexed with him in consequence. But she +gave him Miss Rill's address, and felt she could do no more. Then, when +he had left them, she turned to her brother eagerly. + +"Have you sold it to him?" + +"I fancy so, though he hasn't actually clinched the bargain. He has +offered me two hundred for it." + +"Has he really? I suppose we must not refuse his offer. It will pay +your passage-money, Brian." + +"It belongs to you. Your pearls bought the place." + +"Ah, but I cannot take it back. You said this morning that you did not +know what to do, as the capital of father's money is all tied up, and +you can't get the interest of it at present." + +"No, worse luck! Hope, have you seen old Spencer?" + +"Yes, but I really cannot do what he wants?" + +"Why not? I thought it would be the very thing—just till you go out to +India." + +"But I heard this morning that I cannot go out for a year." + +"Good gracious!" + +Brian's tone was full of genuine dismay. + +"You need not trouble about me," she said reassuringly. "I had thought +of asking you to let me live on in the cottage. I believe by this time +I could manage the poultry. Kitty has taught me a lot. But I suppose we +ought not to refuse such a good offer for it." + +"No, the money will be more useful to you than the cottage." + +"I cannot take it." + +"You must." + +"Let us halve it." + +And at last it was settled that they should do so. + +"One hundred pounds," said Hope to herself. "Well, that will surely +keep me from want for a twelvemonth." + + + +Chapter XIX + +BOY AND GIRL + +MR. MANNERS paid Brian the two hundred pounds, and took possession of +the cottage. Hope thought it was all strangely pathetic. He looked like +a fish out of water in his surroundings, for he had been so long in +London that he had lost his country ways. + +She passed by one day, and found him working in the garden in his tall +silk hat; but she also noticed that his way of handling the plants was +that of a garden-lover; and once she saw him raise a little piece of +yellow jasmine upon the porch to his lips. + +She turned away, afraid that he might see her. + +"He has not outgrown his sentiment," she thought; and amidst all her +intense anxiety about her own future, Miss Rill and her old lover +occupied a big place in her thoughts. + +Brian and she had a long discussion over Mr. Spencer's proposal. + +"I can't think why, as a woman, you don't humour him." + +"You refused to stay with him." + +"That is different. Your stay would be only a temporary one. I pity the +old fellow from the bottom of my heart. Nobody cares a rap about him, +and he knows it. I should have thought your woman's heart would have +been touched by him." + +"So it was, but I cannot see that it is my duty to be his housekeeper." + +Brian shrugged his shoulders, and Hope began to feel uncomfortable. +As she had the hundred pounds, she could well afford to go to him for +simply her board and lodging. She began to turn it over in her mind. +Was she right to refuse an opportunity of brightening his life and +befriending him, perhaps influencing him for good for the rest of his +life? She pondered, and prayed about it. She knew that if Brian took +his two small brothers out to Canada with him, he and they would want +every penny of the small sum of money they had in hand. She asked him +if he was certain that he could provide a home for Jerry and Toby. + +"Won't they cripple you, when you first go out there? How can you +provide for them when you do not know for certain where you are going?" + +"Ah, but I know a woman who will look after them and send them to +school with her boys. She wanted to keep them altogether when we were +coming home, only father wouldn't hear of it. We have a lot of friends +out there, and every one gives one a helping hand. It is so different +here." + +Hope sadly thought of the few friends she possessed who would offer her +a helping hand at this juncture. Brian suggested her coming with them +for a year, but she could not consent to do that. Her passage-money +alone would be more than she could afford. For a week she thought over +Mr. Spencer's offer; and then one morning she told Brian that she was +going to accept it. + +"I know you will be relieved," she said. "I can but leave if I find it +is an impossible life; but I think I shall be doing right to give it a +trial." + +Brian went up to "The Retreat" with a light heart, to carry the news to +the old Squire. + +"He's a queer old chap," he said to Hope; "he seemed quite upset to +think you were coming to him—had tears in his eyes. I think you'll do +him a world of good. I shall hear of him giving tea-parties, when once +you're settled there." + +The days slipped quickly by. Hope was very busy mending and making +clothes for the two small boys, in which task Kitty participated. She +was delighted that she would not lose her friend, but told Hope frankly +that she would be miserable with Mr. Spencer. + +"He will starve you. He only has two pounds of meat for the whole week. +Our butcher told me so; and he has no fires in winter, and no blankets +on the beds. Oh, I've heard all about his establishment from a village +girl who went up there to help Mrs. Hadley when she had been ill. Why +do you go to him? You are too good to live! Why don't you come and stay +with us? We should be proud to have you!" + +Hope laughed at her. And then, whilst they were still discussing Mr. +Spencer's "ménage," Brian came into the room. + +Kitty appealed to him. + +"Does Hope look as if she is fit to live on a quarter of a pound of +meat a week? Why, I can almost see through her now!" + +"Ah, well," said Brian, "we don't always have meat in the colonies." + +"What do you live upon?" + +"Bacon, porridge, potatoes, Indian corn." + +"Lovely!" + +Kitty's face was quite radiant. + +"I know you do yourselves very well, and when you kill a sheep, you +have meat five times a day, to make up for your vegetarian time." + +Hope went out of the room to fetch something. Brian sat down in her +chair, and looked at Kitty across the table. + +"You think a colonial life play," he said. + +"Do I? I know it is hard work, but it's healthy happy work, and makes +men of good-for-nothing-boys who go out there." + +"What would it make of you, if you came out there?" + +Brian's eyes were twinkling, but there was purpose in his tone. + +"Oh, I'm ready made," retorted Kitty, laughingly; "I don't want any +more training." + +Brian looked at her steadily for a moment or two, then he said: + +"Kitty, if I get a home together in a year or so, will you come out and +share it with me?" + +Kitty flushed a deep red, then she looked up and laughed. + +"Do you know that I haven't my hair up yet? Are you chaffing?" + +"I'm in sober earnest." + +Brian looked it. + +"But I don't know what to say. Is it really and truly a proposal of +marriage? You honestly want me to marry you?" + +"I honestly want you to marry me. It isn't in my line to play the fool!" + +"Oh, please don't be angry. I always say the wrong thing." + +Kitty was frightened at the vehement flashing in Brian's brown eyes. +She was silent for a moment. Then Brian said in a softened tone: + +"I know I'm rough and dull. I seem as if all my life I have had no time +to play. People tell me I'm old before my time, but I would be good to +you, Kitty. I don't think you'd have a bad time with me." + +"You're just altogether perfect!" said Kitty impulsively. "It's I who +would be the stupid. I'm always getting into hot water at home for the +things I say and do. I wonder if I really would make you a good wife. +You deserve one, for you never think of yourself at all." + +"I'm thinking of myself now," said Brian. "I suppose your father will +say I have no right to speak to you. I haven't a penny at present to +bless myself with, but I know I shall get work, and I know I shall get +on out there. And you're a born colonist's wife, Kitty. We shouldn't +have to wait very long." + +"But," said Kitty, "you know I don't approve of engagements. You must +say nothing to me till you're ready to marry me, and then I'll come out +by the next boat." + +Her eyes sparkled, then she said demurely: + +"So we'll change the subject, please. Them's my sentiments!" + +But Brian got up from his seat and went round to her. + +"You'll have to seal your promise with a kiss." + +"Oh, I couldn't!" + +"You must." + +He was holding her hands now, and Kitty, half-laughing, +half-frightened, tried to get away from him. + +"I shall be gone in two days' time," he said. "It is my right. I, +shan't believe in you unless you give it to me." + +He got what he wanted, and it was at this inopportune moment that Hope +surprised them. She did not retire, for she was too astonished and +perplexed to do so. + +"Oh, Brian!" she exclaimed, with a world of reproach in her tone. + +But Kitty held herself up bravely, and a little defiantly. + +"It's all right. We've settled to marry each other one day," she said; +"but we aren't going to talk any more about it. Have you brought the +flannel, Hope?" + +Her tone was too elaborately indifferent to be real. Hope could hardly +help laughing. She was only a girl herself, and after the first shock +of discovery, she was rather pleased than otherwise. + +"You are both ridiculously young," she said, looking from Kitty's +flushed cheeks and bright eyes to Brian's rather shamefaced demeanour; +"but I would rather have you for a little sister, Kitty, than any one +else in the world. And Brian and you will suit each other down to the +ground. Only what will your father say? And when will Brian be able to +offer you a home? Not for a long while, I fear." + +"Oh, father will let me do exactly as I like. I know he will." + +"Once I am out in Canada, I shall see my way," said Brian. "Good-night, +Kitty. I consider that we are engaged to each other, and I shall go +round to your father now, and tell him so." + +Before she could offer any remonstrance, he was gone, and the mixture +of feelings portrayed in Kitty's face as she turned to Hope in a +helpless appealing sort of way, was almost comical. + +"It's rather fun!" she said. "But it frightens one rather! Only Brian +is such a splendid fellow, isn't he? Why, he's much too good for me—I +never dreamt he did more than like me! Oh, it's quite delicious to +think of going out to Canada and have a house of my own to keep tidy +for him, and make him comfortable when he comes home tired!" + +Hope shook her head with a smile. + +"You make me feel so old, Kitty, to hear you talk! But I'm sure your +father will say you are much too young for such things!" + +"I'll put up my hair to-morrow, and let down my dresses. What will +Avice say? Oh, Hope, I'm so excited that I could dance round the room." + +Then she grew grave. + +"But I won't be engaged to him. It's against my principles. People +ought to be as free as air until they marry." + +"You are a ridiculous child!" said Hope. + +She wondered, as Kitty chattered on, if she felt any real love for +Brian, or whether it was the Canadian home that fascinated her. But +when the girl got up to go, she threw her arms round Hope's neck, and +whispered in her ear: + +"I will try to be good like you; I want to make him a good wife, I want +to be steadier. Will you pray for me?" + +And Hope answered: + +"My darling Kitty, indeed I will. But I hope you won't take me as your +pattern, for I am a poor specimen of what I ought to be." + +Mr. Parr was too dumbfounded to speak when Brian told him, and Brian +himself felt ashamed of his haste when he thought of his prospects. + +"I ought to have gone away without speaking to her, but I shan't be +home again for a good long time, and Kitty is so bright and attractive +that I was afraid some one else would get a successful innings when I +was away." + +"I can't hear of an engagement at present between you," said Mr. Parr, +with a troubled face. "Why, Kitty is a mere chit of a girl, with no +character formed—a regular little harum-scarum—" + +"She will be eighteen in two months' time, and has twice as much +character as most girls of her age," said Brian. + +The result of his talk was that Mr. Parr told him that he must not bind +Kitty in any way. If he could offer her a comfortable home eventually, +then was the time to make her a proposal, and then he would have no +objection to the match. + +Brian left the Vicarage downheartedly, and on the way back to his +lodgings met Kitty. He repeated to her Mr. Parr's views on the subject, +but she took it very lightheartedly. + +"That's just what I told you myself. When you're ready to marry me, +wire home and tell me so. Until then we'll go on as we are. You needn't +be afraid of my marrying any one else. If a duke came along and asked +me to, I wouldn't! And I'm no beauty, and nobody but you would care a +rap for me!" + +"But," said Brian gloomily, "I wanted you to write to me." + +"Well, perhaps I shall. I'm not a good hand at writing. It always seems +such waste of time, and as to love-letters, I couldn't send one to save +my life! The more I feel, the less I can say, and father would object +to any nonsense of that sort. But I do sometimes write to friends, and +you shall be one of them." + +"I don't believe you have any heart or care a bit!" Poor Brian was +beside himself with excitement and disappointment. + +Kitty looked at him with twinkling eyes, then she laid her hand gently +on his arm. + +"Don't you say those kind of things to me. I shall feel quite lost +without you, and you know I shall. But we shall not be worth much if +we can't wait for each other. You will have the easiest part to play, +for you will be working, and every bit of work you do will be like a +nail in our house. I shall be waiting in idleness, so I have by far the +hardest part. Only—" here eagerness again took the place of tenderness +in her tone—"I think I shall set to work to earn money, and start a +chest, like the foreign girls, for our household linen. It will be +great fun. I like plain work." + +It was impossible for Kitty to be pensive; her active brain always +provided so many fresh ideas that she was in a breathless state to +carry them out before she forgot them. + +Brian's gloom disappeared under her breezy practical common-sense. + +And Hope, as she watched him packing up and making all his preparations +for departure, with a smile on his lips, began to feel that she was +wrong in doubting the wisdom of his untimely proposal. + +"It will give him an object in life, and a hope for the future. And it +will make Kitty into a woman, and take away much of her giddiness." + +The last day came; the small boys clung to Hope in parting, and she +recognised then that she had made an impression upon their lives. Brian +wrung her hand. + +"I can't thank you enough for all you've done for us. If old Spencer +fails you, or Dane doesn't have you out as soon as you think, wire to +me." + +Hope smiled, but before she could reply, Jerry chimed in, "You come out +to us, Hope! Come as a stowaway, if you find the passage too expensive. +It's awful fun to hide yourself till the middle of the voyage, as the +captain can't throw you overboard. He's bound to keep you and land you." + +"Yes, and he wouldn't make a lady scrub and clean the decks," said Toby +thoughtfully. "He would have to be polite to you!" + +The boys' speeches took them away with a laugh instead of a cry, and +then Hope bravely packed her boxes, and went off to "The Retreat." She +found old Mr. Spencer really glad to see her. He had ineffectively +attempted to have the house cleaned and tidied for her, and the +consequence was that Mrs. Hadley met her with black lowering looks. But +Hope refused to let herself be disheartened. She said at once to the +old woman: + +"I am afraid you will not like the idea of my coming here; but I assure +you I shall not give any trouble. You must have your hands full with +such a big house to look after, and I am sure that I shall be able to +help you in many ways." + +She only got a grunt as a response, but she did not despair of winning +her. Mr. Spencer sat down to a cold supper with her at eight o'clock. + +"I dine in the middle of the day," he informed Hope; "Mrs. Hadley does +not like any cooking later." + +Hope soon found that he was in abject bondage to his old servants. She +talked to the old man after supper in his study as cheerfully as she +could, but when she retired to her cold and cheerless bedroom, and +heard the wind howl down the old chimney, and shake the loose casements +of her window, sending chilly blasts across the room—when she saw the +dust lying thick on every article of furniture, and noted the grey +colour of her blankets and the cold damp of her sheets, she wondered if +she could ever bring a cosy comfortable atmosphere into the old house. + +Her first day was like a long nightmare to her. In the morning Mr. +Spencer insisted upon her keeping him company in his study, whilst he +talked to her of the iniquities of his tenants, the insolence of his +bailiff, and the tyranny of his servants. The afternoon was a rainy +one; she got away to her room, and borrowing brush and duster, gave it +a thorough clean out. Mrs. Hadley surprised her in the middle of it. + +"I'm sorry the room is not to your liking, miss. Folks that are so +partic'lar had best have their own maids to attend to 'em. 'Tis more +than Hadley and me can manage, though we did spend two blessed hours +in cleaning the filthiest room I ever seed in my life, and which, in +course with the rest, was locked up and the key in master's pocket!" + +"I'm sure you did all the worst of the cleaning, Mrs. Hadley, and I'm +much obliged to you. I'm so accustomed to dust my own rooms that I +shall be quite lost without occupation. You mustn't mind my doing some +house-work—I love it." + +And house-work Hope certainly did. She found that Mr. Spencer disliked +innovations as much as his old servants did, but she quietly and +determinedly set to work to brighten up the few rooms that were used, +and she succeeded in spite of all obstacles placed in her way. She +arranged flowers, she cleaned up old bits of silver, she polished +brass, and all the time she was doing it she kept asking herself, "Is +this to be my vocation in life?" + +The old Squire watched her, first with amusement, then with vexation, +finally with resignation. + +"I wasn't mistaken in her capabilities for work," he would chuckle +to himself; but the time he really liked her best, was when she was +sitting sewing in his study, and listening to his talk. + +Mr. Spencer was a profound egotist and he found her an attentive and +sympathetic listener. + +Sometimes she would turn the tables upon him, and in her turn would +oblige him to listen to her. + +"I know you don't think much of women's opinions," she would say to +him; "but it is good to hear both sides of every question. You have +been telling me of your troubles with the world at large; you think it +has not benefited you as it should, and I suppose we all look at life +like that. But don't you think it is good sometimes to ask ourselves +how we have benefited the world? We may be the centre of our own +circle; but there are others. I remember hearing some one say once +that the big I of one's self was a mere atom in the universe, and the +majority ought to be always considered before the minority." + +"So you can preach?" + +Hope laughed and said no more, until the next opportunity came. + + + +Chapter XX + +A VISIT TO LONDON + +A FEW days after Hope had gone to "The Retreat," Avice Parr called upon +her. + +Hope received her in the drawing-room—a room shrouded in holland +coverings, and seldom used. + +"I have come," Avice said hesitatingly, "because my father thought I +ought. I have not seen you since we heard about Kitty. I could hardly +believe it, but as it has come to nothing, perhaps I ought not to +mention it." + +"Oh, please do," said Hope. "I want to know your feelings about it. I +am so very fond of Kitty, you know." + +"Kitty is a careless child still," said Avice, in a tone of severity. +"I can't think how your brother could have filled her head with such +nonsense." + +"He doesn't think it nonsense. I own it was premature, but he was going +away, and I suppose for once the impulse of the moment overcame his +caution." + +"And here is Kitty fastening up her hair and lengthening her skirts, +and talking as if she were really going to marry him. I think if you +had known how things were going, you ought to have stopped it. We did +think she was safe with you." + +"But," said Hope, feeling taken aback by Avice's calm disapproval, "I +hadn't an idea how things were going. Brian is such a quiet reserved +boy. He never took me into his confidence. And I don't think the +experience will do Kitty harm. She has no silliness about her, as many +girls have. You have lamented over her carelessness and heedlessness. I +expect you will find this will make her more serious and thoughtful." + +"It is all ridiculous!" + +Avice seemed so perturbed that her usual politeness forsook her. + +Hope could not sympathise with her. She knew how much of Avice's +unfulfilled duties Kitty continually undertook, and that in many ways +she had more practical common-sense than her elder sister. She wondered +if a little jealousy had crept into Avice's heart. + +"Well," Hope said pleasantly, "they are not properly engaged, we won't +think any more about it. Perhaps it will come to nothing. I am sorry it +has vexed you so, but I have had nothing to do with it." + +With an effort Avice tried to talk of other matters. She began telling +Hope of a young factory-girl whom she had dissuaded from marrying, and +was evidently elated at her success. + +"She is only seventeen, and he is twenty. It is dreadful to see them +rushing into married life with so little money to keep a home together." + +"Yes," assented Hope, "but sometimes marriage is better for them; it +saves worse troubles, and very often steadies a young fellow." + +And then, after a little more desultory talk, Avice departed, and Hope +said to herself after she had left: + +"I know why I do not like her—she is never interested in me, so my +dislike is a purely selfish one. She never asked me a question about +myself, whether I was comfortable here, or how I liked it. She is only +interested in her special 'protégées,' and I am not one of them. And +yet she is really good." + +Hope had no other visitors except Kitty, who ran in to see her very +often; but Mr. Spencer did not care for her entertaining any one. His +attitude towards her grew daily more exacting and capricious, and Hope +began to find that she had very little time to herself. Mrs. Hadley +preserved a sullen silence, and in many little ways which were in her +power, she made Hope extremely uncomfortable. If it had not been for +her Indian letter, which came to her regularly once a week, Hope would +have been very unhappy. As it was, she tried to live in the future; and +in writing to Lancelot she said nothing of her discomforts, so that he +was unaware of her exact position. + +One day, in talking to Mr. Spencer, she happened to mention her coming +marriage. + +He looked up, quite vexed. + +"Pshaw! Don't talk to me of your marriage! Girls don't know when they +are well off. If you stay with me, and continue to please me, I can +promise you at my death a nice little fortune. I have no kith or kin, +and I can leave my money to whom I will. You will be an independent +woman then, and will be thankful you took my advice. Marriage is very +well for some, but it would be a mistake for you. You would expect too +much from your husband, and then when disillusion came, your life would +be spoilt. Stay with me, and you will not regret it." + +"But," said Hope, "I thought I made you understand that this is only a +temporary arrangement. I am very grateful to you for the interest you +take in me, but I might hear by any mail from Mr. Dane or his mother +that they would like me to go out to them. If Mrs. Dane comes back in +June, I shall most likely go to her. I believe she will want me to do +so. It is very good of you to have me at all, but I cannot stay with +you long." + +"Then why did you come to me at all?" + +Mr. Spencer's eyes blazed, and he fell into a towering passion. "Do you +think I took the trouble to alter my household for a passing visitor? +Do you think I put up with Mrs. Hadley's insolence when she heard of +your coming, and actually was forced to increase her wages—do you think +I did this to have you come in and turn my house upside down, and then +leave me in a few months' time?" + +"Oh, why do we talk of the future?" said Hope. "I am sorry I mentioned +my plans. It is all uncertain. I may be able to stay with you a year, +should you wish it. I can't tell. I had no idea I had made such +difficulties; perhaps I had better leave you at once?" + +The old Squire's temper passed as quickly as it had come. + +"No, no, we will say no more. You wouldn't have the heart to leave me. +I am a miserable old man, I never see a soul; I have almost lost the +art of conversation. Forget what I have said, and stay on with me. +Those Danes do not need you as I do." + +Hope thought it best to say no more. She tried to make the most of her +surroundings, and succeeded in bringing both cleanliness and brightness +into the old house. + +She endeavoured to make Mr. Spencer take an interest in his +tenants, and would come back after one of her rambles, describing +the dilapidated state of some of the farms, and the anxiety of the +hard-working tenants themselves that something should be done; but he +would only shake his head impatiently. + +"I know what I can afford, and what I can't. They will never be +satisfied. The more I do for them, the more they want." + + +One morning she went to him in his study, and found him deep in a +letter that he had received. Hope was feeling a little depressed that +morning. For two weeks now she had received no letter from India, and +the one she was expecting from Lancelot would be that in reply to hers, +telling him of her father's death. She began to wonder whether the bad +climate of his district was affecting him, or whether he had by any +chance missed receiving her letter. She knew that when he heard her +news, he would write to her at once. It was not like him to miss the +mail at such a time. + +As a rule she breakfasted alone. Since Mr. Spencer had broken his leg, +he did not leave his room till eleven o'clock, and Hope was glad to +have the first few hours in the morning to herself. She dusted the +rooms, arranged flowers, and did many little household duties that were +necessary. + +Now as she entered his room, she saw that he was disturbed in mind. + +"Come here," he said nervously; "shut the door and sit down, and listen +to this. All these years we have never corresponded; why should she +find me out now, and what does she want?" + +He then proceeded to read his letter out. + + "'DEAR ALAN,—I wonder if you have ever troubled to find out whether +I am dead or alive! In the accounts of the floods in your part a +short time ago, I saw mention of your name—I will not say that I had +forgotten your existence, but it revived the memories of past years. I +am alone in the world like you. My husband died five years ago. Would +you like me to pay you a visit? I am living in London now, and could +come down and see you any day. + + "'Your affectionate sister + + "'ELLEN.'" + +"Oh," remarked Hope, "I think that very nice. Are you not glad to hear +from her?" + +"Ellen was the youngest of us," said Mr. Spencer slowly and cautiously. +"She married a man in the navy—Harper was his name. Those service men +are always badly off unless they have private means, and Ellen was a +regular spendthrift. Most likely she has run heavily into debt since +she was a widow—perhaps she is going to be sold up—she wouldn't write +to me without a purpose, and she is too clever to hint that it is my +money she is after!" + +Speeches like this always jarred on Hope. + +"She is your sister. Why do you not take her letter as it reads? I have +always thought you ought to find your sister, and now she asks you to +let her come and see you. I don't see how you can refuse her." + +"There is nothing easier than a refusal," said Mr. Spencer promptly. +"If I thought she might be of any service to me, I—I think I might ask +her from Saturday to Monday. But a woman's tongue can be a great trial, +and Ellen never minced her words." + +"If she is badly off, you could give her a home," said Hope decidedly. + +"That is just what I should never do. What would her pension be, I +wonder? She could not be penniless." + +"What was her husband?" + +"A captain. He retired as that. Now will you kindly sit still, and let +me think out a plan in my head. Ellen is a very obstinate woman. She +may come down upon me without any invitation on my part." + +Silence fell upon them. Hope despaired of making Mr. Spencer take an +unselfish interest in others. At last he looked up with a gleam of +humour in his eye. + +"I am going to appoint you a part to play in this little drama. I will +pay your return fare to London if you will go up quietly and find out +exactly where my sister is living, and what her sentiments are about +me. Find out if she is in a house of her own, or in lodgings, or in a +boardinghouse. You have plenty of friends in town. Can you not stay +with them for a few days?" + +Hope was too astonished to speak for a moment. + +"I could not act as a spy," she said, a little indignantly. "And as to +my friends—I have lost sight of them all for the past year. I—I—am not +in a position now to go visiting." + +Poor Hope thought of her scanty wardrobe, and realised with a little +bitterness that none of her aunt's old friends would care to receive +a shabbily dressed, penniless girl into their fashionable homes. Only +Hester Chesney and Lady May Fosberry had stood by her through her +adversity, and neither of them was in town. Jim Horrocks was, but he +lived as a bachelor in chambers; and there was no one else to whom she +could turn. After some further talk, thinking that she might be the +means of uniting brother and sister together again, she assented to Mr. +Spencer's proposal. + +"But," she stipulated, "if I go, I go in a straightforward way. I shall +call upon Mrs. Harper, and tell her about you. I shall not betray you. +I will not let her know of your unworthy suspicions. I shall be careful +not to commit you. That is all I can promise." + +Mr. Spencer was beginning to have a respectful regard for Hope's good +taste and judgment. He was full of excitement, and launched into a long +dissertation on the follies of blood ties and family sentiments, but +concluded with saying that he would like her to go the very next day. + +"And don't tell the Hadleys where you are going," he added. "It is none +of their business. They don't know that I have a sister." + +"I was thinking," said Hope thoughtfully, "that I might go to Miss +Rill's lodgings. When last I heard from her, she said she had found +some nice rooms, and not expensive ones. It would be cheaper than a +hotel." + +"Yes, certainly. Hotels are ruinous." + +Hope was enough of a girl to enjoy this little trip to town. Her life +was grey and monotonous; she welcomed any change that brought a break +into her life. + +The next morning she started early. It was a bright frosty day, and +though it was three miles to the station, she thoroughly enjoyed every +step of the walk. A small boy from a neighbouring farm carried her +bag, and being always fond of boys, Hope began to chat with him. He +presently, to her great amusement, asked: + +"Be you sent away, miss? 'Ave you lost your place?" + +"No," she said laughing; "why do you ask such a question?" + +"Mother says that Missus Hadley says it'll have to be her or you to +leave t'old Squire, and her thinks as 'ow it'll be you, please, miss!" + +"Mrs. Hadley talks a great deal of nonsense!" + +Hope's tone was lofty, but she was vexed that the village gossip should +touch on her position, and she relapsed into silence for the rest of +the way. + + +Her journey to town only took three hours. When she arrived at +Paddington Station, she found herself in a thick yellow fog. But Hope +was thoroughly at home in London; she took an omnibus to the address +Miss Rill had given her, and though she had to find the quiet little +street quite a distance from where the omnibus put her down, she lost +no time in arriving there. + +A respectable-looking woman opened the door. + +"A friend of Miss Rill's, do you say, ma'am? Well, to be sure! 'Tis a +pity you didn't come two weeks further back, for she's left me without +a word as to where she were a-fixing herself, and me a good friend to +her, believe me, ma'am. And there's a letter been a-waitin' her these +ten days or more, and one I giv' back to the postman four days ago. No, +I ain't the least notion where she is! Fact is—but will you come in and +take a seat?" + +Hope obeyed, and in a dingy back sitting-room heard a sad account of +poor Miss Rill. + +"She were hard up, poor thing, and if it 'adn't been that I'm a +hard-working widow woman myself with four children to eddicate, +and feed and clothe, all under twelve years, and a young man—a +medical—a-wantin' the room, and I havin' waited two weeks for her rent, +and then not 'aving the heart to take it, and seein' her go starving, +why, I won't say as I mightn't have let things run on, but she says to +me herself very quiet like: + +"'Mrs. Edgar,' she says, 'I must find cheaper rooms in a cheaper +locality, and not having received as much as I expected this quarter, +will you kindly accept the gift of my books till I can settle up +properly,' which offer I took, seein' there were no better forthcoming. + +"You see, ma'am, the poor lady had a book craze, and the books she +brought 'ome every blessed day were really enough to fill a cellar! She +'ad a craze for book-shops, an' yet she would never say why, for I'm +certain sure she never read the books. + +"She says to me one day, 'Mrs. Edgar,' she says, 'I mean to visit every +book-shop in London, but,' she says, 'it takes a lot of money, Mrs. +Edgar,' she says, and with that the poor lady gives a big sigh. 'I +walk,' she says to me, 'all I can, but I wear out so many boots; and +the 'bus does take so many pennies!' + +"'Then why,' says I to her, 'don't you give of it up, ma'am?' + +"'Ah!' she says, with a shake of her head, 'I came to London to do it!' + +"And I'll make bold enough to say, ma'am, that she'll bring herself to +the workhouse, if she goes on with it much longer." + +Hope felt puzzled and perplexed. + +Then she asked Mrs. Edgar if she could give her a bedroom for the night. + +"I will, ma'am; I know a lady when I see one; and though it is only a +top front room, I think it will suit you, and for a trifle extry you +can have meals served in this very room we're in, being my own parlour, +which I keeps to myself." + +So Hope conveyed her bag up two flights of steep stairs, and found the +room comfortable and fairly clean, for London. Then Mrs. Edgar showed +her Miss Rill's former rooms, and in the corner, stacked up against +the wall, was a goodly array of books. Hope looked at these curiously. +She wondered if it was a system of self-education, but the variety and +uselessness of many of them convinced her of the contrary. + +There were children's toy-books, diaries, textbooks upon every +conceivable subject, from the management of racing-stables to babies +and mushroom-growing, novels in French and English, histories, books on +architecture, geology, and political economy. + +As Hope looked at them, she wondered if Miss Rill's experience of +London life was turning her brain. And she determined to do her utmost +to trace her whereabouts before she returned to Mr. Spencer. + +As soon as she had settled with Mrs. Edgar about her room, she went out +again, and half an hour after was knocking at the door of 1, Radford +Square, the address given by Mr. Spencer's sister. + + + +Chapter XXI + +A SUCCESSFUL SEARCH + +"IS Mrs. Harper at home?" + +"Yes. Please walk this way." + +Hope felt a little nervous as she mounted the carpeted stairs. It was a +lodging-house, but a very superior one; and when she was ushered into +the big front drawing-room, with a blazing fire, sweet-scented flowers, +and every token of comfort in it, she began to wish herself away. + +From the depths of a soft cushioned chair by the fire, a lady rose to +greet her. She was a tall fair woman, rather plump in face, and dressed +in thorough good taste. No greater contrast could be found than between +her and her brother. + +"I must introduce myself," Hope said in her pretty gracious way. "I +have been staying with Mr. Spencer lately, and he asked me to come and +see you. I am in town for one or two days. He is not up to travelling, +or I daresay would have come to town himself. I thought perhaps you +would like to hear about him from me. He was very much surprised when +he heard from you. He told me he had lost sight of you for many years." + +"I hope it was a pleasant surprise," said Mrs. Harper, with a gleam of +amusement in her eyes. "Do come near the fire, and tell me all you know +about my brother." + +She drew another easy chair forward, and reseated herself. If she was +curious about Hope, she concealed her curiosity well. + +Hope very simply stated her position at "The Retreat." + +Mrs. Harper listened very quietly to all she said. But nothing escaped +her. + +"Well," she said at last, "I suppose people do not change for the +better as they grow older. Our faults become follies, our fancies +eccentricities, and every bad habit is accentuated, this is what the +preachers say. Poor dear Alan always was a prig and a screw. I don't +expect him to be anything else. Still he is my brother, and it will be +his privilege to help me, should I need his help. I must certainly go +down to see him. Did he send no message to me?" + +"Yes, he said he would write soon." + +"After he had heard about me from you?" Mrs. Harper spoke a little +sharply, and Hope winced at her plain speaking. + +"I know Alan of old, and, from what I hear of his establishment, I +should not think there is much comfort in it. I think I shall wait till +this cold weather is over, before I venture down. Now, Miss St. Clair, +you can tell him that you have seen me; that you cannot make me out; +that I look as if I do not need pecuniary aid from him, but that I have +told you very little about myself, except that I consider it is his +privilege to help me." + +"Yes," assented Hope quickly; "I will tell him all that." + +"Now tell me honestly if you think my visit will benefit him or myself +most?" + +Hope looked at her gravely. She would not join this lady in laughing at +her brother. + +"I think you may benefit him most," she replied. "I shall be going +abroad soon. His housekeeper is a tyrant, and does not make him as +comfortable as she should. The house needs a mistress badly. He is old +and lonely and unhappy, Mrs. Harper. He wants care and affection, and +there is no one to give it to him." + +Mrs. Harper gazed into the fire without speaking. + +"I shall not be the one to give it to him," she said at last. "I am +lonely too, but he and I are as far as the North Pole from the South in +our tastes and feelings. When do you return to him?" + +"Perhaps to-morrow," said Hope. "I am anxious to find a friend of mine +first, if I can; but I feel that it is like looking for a needle in a +haystack." + +"Man or woman?" + +Hope briefly told her. Mrs. Harper was interested at once. + +"It is quite a romance. Do tell me if you're successful. But London +swallows up plenty of little women like that." + +Hope was pressed to stay to tea, but she declined. She parted from Mrs. +Harper feeling she would like to meet her again. Then she went off to +several book-shops to try to glean any information about Miss Rill. At +one shop only, one of the assistants remembered her. + +"She called late one evening," he said, "and didn't seem to know what +book she wanted. She asked me several strange questions, as to how long +I had been employed here, whether there were many changes amongst us, +and whether I had ever come across a man called Robert Manners. Then +she took up a small book hastily, paid for it, and walked out of the +shop." + +"And you have never seen her since?" questioned Hope eagerly. + +"Not that I know of, madam." + +It was not a clue, and yet the revelation seemed infinitely pathetic to +Hope. + +Miss Rill was evidently searching London in a quiet way for traces +of her old lover. She knew he was in the bookselling trade, and was +visiting every bookseller in turn, buying books that she did not want, +and impoverishing herself by so doing. + +When dark set in, Hope turned towards her lodgings. Over her tea, she +cross-questioned her landlady again, and discovered that Miss Rill was +very fond of attending evening church at a certain St. Mark's, not very +far away. + +"She always used to go of a Friday," Mrs. Edgar said. "And I shouldn't +wonder if she went there still. As it's Friday to-night, miss, would +you like to go there?" + +Hope was feeling very tired. The day had seemed a long one to her. She +could hardly believe that it was only that morning that she had taken +her three-mile walk through sunny frosty fields. But the desire to find +Miss Rill overcame all her fatigue. She felt as if she were personally +responsible for her safety, and, refreshed by her tea, she set out +again, to attend the half-past six service at St. Mark's. + +It was one of those dingy town churches that do not attract the upper +classes; indeed as she entered it, there were not more than half a +dozen people in it. When the service began, there were about twenty in +the congregation; and not one of them bore any resemblance to Miss Rill. + +But Hope found rest and refreshment from the beautiful old liturgy +which was simply and reverently rendered, and when the Vicar came +forward to the lectern and preached one of a series of sermons on +the miracles of our Lord, Hope listened with delight. She could well +understand now why Miss Rill had found her way here. + +It was not an eloquent sermon, but it was an earnest forcible one, and +the Saviour's love and power were brought straight down through the +ages to bear upon the lives of those who were in the church that night. + +"What wilt thou that I should do unto thee?" was the question +reiterated again and again. And before Hope left the church she bowed +her knee in humble supplication: + + "Increase my faith and love." + +As she came out, she stopped to speak to the old verger, and, +describing Miss Rill as well as she could, asked him if he could +remember having seen her. + +He responded at once: + +"Yes, only last Friday. I thought she'd been rather ill from the +look of her. She come in and was took bad in her seat. 'Twas just on +closin', after the sermon, and I got her to the vestry; and the Vicar +and me had her in a dead faint for over twenty minutes. The Vicar he +fetched in a doctor, and he brought her round and took her in a keb. +Would you like to speak to the Vicar, miss? We hain't set eyes on her +since." + +Elope went to the vestry with relief in her heart, for she realised +that she was on the right track at last. The Vicar was courteous, and +willing to give her all the information in his power. + +"I'm afraid," he said, "it was a case of starvation and exhaustion; the +doctor seemed to think so. We have many of these cases every winter, +and they are very difficult to relieve. I have her address, but when I +went to see her, I found she had been removed to St. Thomas's Hospital. +Her landlady had done it, I fear, because she did not want to be +troubled with her. She was suffering from a severe chill with fever, +the landlady told me. But she will have every care in the hospital." + +"Thank you," said Hope. "I must see her to-morrow, poor thing! I little +thought she was in want of money." + +She walked back to the lodgings, hearing again Miss Rill's eager voice +when describing her ideas of London life: + +"'I'm going to walk in the streets and live like a lady in it. It's the +dream of my life coming true!' + +"And now her landlady has turned her out of her house, to die perhaps +in a hospital. Oh, it is pitiful!" + +Hope did not sleep very well that night. Miss Rill's pathetic story was +in her heart and brain. "Perhaps I may have been brought up to town to +save her," she repeated to herself; "but what can I do? My own future +is very insecure and uncertain!" + +Early the next morning, she went off to the hospital. Though it was not +in the visiting hours, a friendly sister allowed her to go into the +ward. + +"If you are a friend of hers, it would be a kindness to take her home. +We cannot keep her here, for she has no organic disease; it is simply a +case of weakness and exhaustion." + +Hope could not reply. She hardly knew how to act. She followed her +guide into the big cheerful-looking ward. In one corner of it was Miss +Rill's bed. Hope started as she came up and looked down upon her. Was +this hollow-cheeked white-faced woman the little hardy roundabout Miss +Rill? She could for a moment scarcely believe it. But slowly Miss Rill +opened her eyes, and then with a start she raised herself to a sitting +position, stretching out her hands like a little child. + +"Am I dreaming? Are you Miss St. Clair? I think I'm dying." + +"Oh no, you are going to get quite well. It is I myself in the flesh, +and I've been hunting high and low for you. I came up to London and +meant to take you by surprise. Then I found you had left your nice +lodgings. I am sadly afraid you have not been taking care of yourself." + +Hope talked on, so as to put her at her ease. + +The tears began to trickle down the sick woman's cheeks. + +"Oh," she said, with a weary sigh; "how I have longed to see the face +of a friend! And my sweet cottage? Tell me how it is looking." + +Hope did not want to excite her, so she said nothing of the change of +hands that had taken place. + +"The daffodils are just coming up," she said gently, "and there will be +a fine show of apple-blossoms soon. You must come back to the country, +Miss Rill. London does not suit you." + +"It is rather an expensive place," said Miss Rill. "I think I have +missed the country air." + +"Do you think you are well enough to come out in a cab with me? I +should like to take you back to your old lodgings." + +A nervous shrunken look came into Miss Rill's face. + +"My dear, I'm afraid I'd better not. If these good people will keep me +a little longer, it would—it would be advisable. I do feel so rested +and comfortable. And I really have found London lodgings so expensive, +that, between ourselves, my savings have fast melted away. I have +thought it all out, and if they will keep me a few days longer, I mean +then to apply to a very good registry office that was recommended to +me. There are posts of caretaker that are often vacant in town, and I +am sure that such an office would suit me. Oh, sister, is that you? +What? Food again?" + +"Yes," said the sister cheerfully. "It is a cup of nice hot soup, and +you must take it before you venture out with your friend. I am so glad +she has come for you. The fact is, we shall be overcrowded to-night, +and your bed will be wanted. I am sure the rest and food has worked +wonders for you, has it not? You must look after yourself a little more +carefully in the future." + +Miss Rill's lips quivered, but she made no reply. Hope hastened to say: + +"I will look after her, sister, I can assure you. Can we have a cab in +an hour's time?" + +"Yes, I will see to it." + +Miss Rill seemed almost stunned by this sudden decision. She said +nothing till she was in the cab, driving away from the hospital. Then +she laid a trembling hand on Hope's arm. + +"My dear, you had better tell the cabman to drive to the nearest +workhouse. I will struggle no longer against the fate that is driving +me there. I have exactly five shillings left of all my savings. I +hoped before I saw you that I should die in the hospital. I don't seem +able to die like other people do. I suppose I must be extraordinarily +strong." + +The tears were quietly trickling down her cheeks. + +Hope impulsively put her arms round her and cried too. + +"You shall not go to the workhouse. I believe God sent me up to London +to save you from it. I'm going to take you back to your old lodgings +with me. Not to the last place at which you were, but to Mrs. Edgar's. +I will make it right with the landlady. I mean to feed you up and nurse +you; and when you are quite well and strong again, it will be time +enough to talk of earning money. Two letters have come for you since +you have left. One unfortunately was given back to the postman, but the +other one was forgotten, and is waiting for you. Perhaps a friend or +relation has died and left you a fortune! You never know what a letter +may bring." + +Hope spoke cheerily, but she was feeling painfully perplexed and +troubled. + +When the lodgings were reached, Mrs. Edgar received Miss Rill back with +every expression of kindness. She was put to bed in her old room, a +fire lighted, and everything done to make her comfortable. Then Hope +telegraphed to Mr. Spencer, saying that she could not well return to +him that day, but would write explanation; and a good long letter +followed, telling him all she had discovered and done. + +"If you could spare me for a few days longer," she wrote, "I should be +very glad. Poor Miss Rill is in a very exhausted state, and I do not +want to leave her until she is better. Of course, I need hardly say +that I am paying my own expenses up here." + +Having written this, she sent a note to Mrs. Harper, telling her of the +result of her search, and then she went upstairs to Miss Rill again. + +"Could I have my letter?" the poor woman asked directly she saw her. + +Hope gave it to her, but she could not read it. + +"I'm afraid my eyes are rather weak. Will you kindly read it to me?" + +So Hope read slowly and clearly as follows:— + + "'DEAR JANE,—Even after all these years I cannot call you anything +else. I hear you are living in London in comfortable circumstances. +Strange that you should wish to end your days in the bustle of a city, +and I in the quiet and peace of the country. I was surprised, when +I came down to look you up, to find you gone. Memories tugged hard, +when I trod your cottage path. But we have learnt to live without each +other. I found your cottage wanting an owner, and for auld lang syne +I took it, and am living in it now. Why am I writing to you, you will +ask! I hardly know myself, except that your presence seems to wander +round here, and I wonder if I had managed things better, whether the +two of us might not have kept each other company in this snug nest? I +should like to hear your experiences in London. I managed to save, and +have now a small annuity, enough to keep me from want for the rest of +my days. + + "'Very truly yours, + + "'ROBERT MANNERS.'" + +Miss Rill sat up in bed with flushed cheeks. + +"Wonderful! Wonderful!" she exclaimed. "So I have been searching all +this time in vain. Tell me, Miss St. Clair, all about it. Why have you +left my cottage? How did he come to take it? He above all others in +this wide world!" + +Hope told her everything. She could not quite make out if she were glad +or sorry at receiving such a letter. The pitifulness of it all did not +seem to strike Miss Rill. She sank back upon her pillow soon, and with +a wistful smile asked Hope to put the letter into her hand. + +"I will answer it when I feel a little stronger," she said. + +But Hope was determined that Robert Manners should know as soon as +possible why Miss Rill had not answered his letter before; and that +same evening she wrote to him herself, telling him of Miss Rill's weak +state of health. + +"If he has a heart at all, he will come and see her," she said to +herself. + +The next day Miss Rill was sufficiently strong to tell Hope her late +experiences in town. + +"I know you will think me sentimental and foolish," she said. "But +though I enjoyed my first few weeks in London very much, I could not +rest until I knew whether Robert—Mr. Manners—was still living. I only +wanted to know; I did not want to see him; but he was the only old +friend I had in London, and so I began my search. I knew he was a +bookseller, so I went to every bookseller's in turn, trying to find +him, and the consequence was I had to buy a good many books. Oh! I know +it was foolish, but I felt I could not take up their time for nothing, +and I did not want to be pushing with my inquiries; they were so much +more civil when they knew I meant to buy. + +"I don't like London; it is a cruel place for the poor and weak. The +only nice people in it are the policemen, and I've never had anything +but civility from them. They've conducted me across streets times +without number—and that without my paying them a penny! Ah, well, God +has punished me for my restlessness and faithlessness! I could not wait +for His time. What an event it would have been if I had stayed on in my +cottage and seen Bob—Mr. Manners—walking up the path one day! I never +dreamt he would come back to those parts again! It seems so strange, so +sweet that he should be living there now. Well—he says we have learnt +to live without each other—I suppose we have, and I shall be happy if +I am taken before I have to go to the workhouse. It is my own foolish +fault. I saved, and then I spent, and the sooner my life ends, the +better." + +Hope gently remonstrated with her. + +"If you had not been wanted in this world a little longer, God would +not have sent me up to London at this identical time when you were +needing a friend." + +Miss Rill seized hold of her hand, and a hot tear fell on it. + +"Ah! I am ungrateful. And God is good, though I had to come to London +to find it out. It was all so quiet and peaceful in my cottage. I went +to church once on a Sunday, but there my religion began and ended. +When I was lonely and forlorn here, I went one evening to St. Mark's. +I can't tell you, Miss St. Clair, what comfort came to me through the +Vicar's addresses. I got to know the Lord as my personal Friend and +Saviour. I believe He is taking care of me, though I am so faithless; +but I can't help thinking the loss of my savings is the natural +consequence of my own folly." + +"We won't talk any more about it," said Hope cheerfully. "You have +found a Friend who will undertake for you, Miss Rill, and if your +loneliness drove you to Him, you will bless that bit of loneliness +through all eternity." + + + +Chapter XXII + +ALONE + + "'MY DEAR MISS ST. CLAIR,—You ought never to have left me. I can't +think why you have been worrying yourself over the poultry-woman. I +note what you say about my sister, Mrs. Harper. I have written to her +saying it is not convenient for me to receive her at present, but that +I hope to see her later on. If you had come back the first thing on +Wednesday morning, things would have been better. As it is, you have +been away three days, and now I cannot see my way to having you back. +Mrs. Hadley says if you return, she will leave me. I cannot lose the +Hadleys; they know my ways, and have been with me ten years. I should +be lost without them. It is very tiresome that you and Mrs. Hadley do +not get on together. I am a miserable old man, and realise more and +more that I am never meant to have a friend. Mrs. Hadley is improving +in her cooking again. She seems to manage for me better when you are +not here. She says you fuss her. + + "'I do not think I owe you anything, for I paid you the morning you +left me. If there are a few shillings over from what I gave you for +your fare, you may keep them. I do not think it will be wise for you +to return here. Mrs. Hadley says you left nothing about your room, but +packed everything in your trunk, and took the keys with you. She was +hurt at your want of confidence in her, and said she would not touch a +hairpin of yours. But this makes it easy to send your trunk by rail to +you. I will leave you to pay the carriage of it at your end, as it is +always safer doing so. Hadley says he can ask the baker to take it in +his cart to the station to-day. I do seem unfortunate in having no one +of my own class to associate with, but I cannot lose the Hadleys. Why +do women always disagree? + + "'Yours truly, + + "'A. T. SPENCER.'" + +This was the letter that awaited Hope one morning. She was +thunderstruck at its contents. Mr. Spencer's callousness and +selfishness did not vex her, for she had a great compassion for him. +But after thinking matters over, she went straight to Mrs. Harper and +read the letter aloud. + +That lady lay back in her cushions, and laughed at it. + +"It's simply delicious," she said. "I can see Alan writing it!" + +"Ah! But it is no laughing matter. Those Hadleys are not faithful +servants. They are cheating him right and left, and he does not see it. +It is pitiful to me. He is lonely and miserable, and they want to keep +him so. I do not mind for myself at all. I am quite willing not to go +back, but I cannot bear to think of him. Mrs. Harper, could you not +go down and release him from his tyrants? You could replace them with +better servants. You are his sister, and you can do what I cannot do." + +"But what thanks should I get for it? It would be a most difficult and +unpleasant business, and I always shirk unpleasant things. You see I +am as selfish in my way as Alan is in his. Why should I trouble myself +about him, and his rascally servants?" + +Hope looked at her a little wistfully for a moment. + +"I can't help thinking that your heart is kinder than your words," she +said, smiling. + +Mrs. Harper shook her head. + +"My heart is a mere mechanical engine for pumping blood into my +arteries. I always say exactly what I think. The only thing that would +make me go to him would be the fun of routing round that insolent old +woman, and making her wait on me. I do think my brother has treated you +rather shabbily. What are you going to do?" + +"I shall stay where I am for the present and try to nurse Miss Rill +back to health and strength again." + +"It seems your vocation to attend upon the poor and needy." + +After a little further talk, Mrs. Harper declared she would go down and +take her brother by surprise. + +"I shall find out how things are, and if I see the smallest inclination +upon my brother's part to be friends with me, I shall settle that +worthy couple of his in no time." + +Hope went back to Miss Rill. She was too occupied in attending to +her, and in thinking about the poor unhappy Squire, to give her own +future much thought, but she did vaguely wonder if her money would be +sufficient for her needs, or if she might, like Miss Rill, lose her +little all in London. It was a distinct shock to receive her large +trunk the next day, and to realise that her connection with King's Dell +was severed for the present. That same afternoon she was told that a +gentleman wished to see her, and going into the sitting-room, found Mr. +Robert Manners awaiting her. + +He met her with an embarrassed air. + +"I—I thought I had better perhaps call. I had business that brought +me to town. I—I hope that Miss Rill is better. It was kind of you to +write. I—I suppose she would not like to see me?" + +"Are you sleeping in town to-night?" + +"Yes." + +"Then I think she might be able to see you to-morrow. She is very weak +still. I'm afraid she has not much desire to live, and that tells +against her. You see, she has no friends, and she has been unfortunate +up here. Her savings have nearly melted away. Perhaps I ought not to +tell you this, but you are an old friend, and so you will treat it in +confidence." + +To herself she mentally soliloquised: + +"He shall not think she has anything to offer him; if he cares for her, +he will take her as she is." + +Hope wisely said nothing of this visit to Miss Rill that night. She did +not want to excite her. But the next morning, she persuaded her to get +up a little earlier, and sit in an easy chair by the sitting-room fire. +And then, with a reckless regard for her scanty purse, Hope went out +and bought some violets and sweet-scented narcissus, which she brought +in to brighten up the dingy little room. + +"Ah!" said poor Miss Rill, when she saw them. "I had violets behind the +water-butt. I wonder if Ro—Mr. Manners—has discovered them?" + +"You must ask him," said Hope quietly. "He has come up to town on +business, and means to come and see you this morning, I think. Perhaps +he wants some advice about the garden." + +A red flush appeared on Miss Rill's thin cheeks. + +"Is he really coming to see me?" she asked. "My dear, am I tidy? Don't +you think perhaps my best cap—" + +"You are looking awfully nice," said Hope, relieved that she took it so +calmly. + +Mr. Manners arrived very shortly. + +Hope longed to witness the meeting, but with her usual tact she +absented herself. Sitting in her bedroom, she prayed for their +happiness. There was nothing incongruous to her in the thought of their +courtship. The man might be bowed and bent with the weight of cares and +of time, the woman faded and weakened from her recent illness, but love +was a real thing to both of them, and she had no fears as to the result +of their meeting. + +It seemed a long time before the door opened, but he came into the +passage at last. His eyes were bright, and he held himself like a man +awakened from sleep. + +"Thank you for this," he said, turning to her with an old-fashioned +bow. "Please God, we will finish our lives together now. I tell her we +must have a quiet wedding up here, and go home next week. I will see +about it at once." + +He paused, then said solemnly: + +"Ah, Miss St. Clair, it's a pity a woman doesn't always know her own +mind. There's that dear little soul in there has nearly killed herself +in trying to undo a bit of her past. And I have been haunted night and +day by her presence ever since I took her house. She'll be pleased to +see her garden again!" + +He turned abruptly away, but Hope saw him draw his coat-sleeve across +his eyes; and was not surprised to find Miss Rill in tears. She +stretched out her hands to Hope directly she saw her. + +"Oh, my dear, it seems so wonderful. He wants me still—has always +wanted me, and I'm going back to King's Dell with him. Will people +think us very silly? We are both so old, but we shouldn't be younger if +we had married fifty years ago, should we? And there are lots of Darbys +and Joans in the world. I really do think I don't deserve such joy. I +told him I hadn't one penny, but he says he has enough for us both. We +shall not be rich, you know, but we shall be more comfortable doing our +own work together than lots of these grand folk in town. I feel as if +it must be a dream. Do you think it is?" + +"I think it plain solid fact," said Hope. "And now it is time for our +dinner. I hope you have a good appetite." + +She brought Miss Rill down to earth by her practical talk. A little +later they looked over her scanty wardrobe, and Hope went out shopping, +determined to spend a little on smartening up the poor bride. As soon +as it was possible, the ceremony was performed at St. Mark's. + +And Hope said goodbye to bride and bridegroom at Paddington station +that same afternoon. She returned to her lodgings, feeling, for the +first time, lonely and depressed. Lancelot Dane had been filling her +thoughts; the sight of Miss Rill and her old lover together brought an +aching longing to her heart for the one who belonged to her. She had +written to the country post-office, asking them to forward her letters, +and now she was awaiting her Indian mail. + +As she sat over her tea, her outlook was not inspiriting. + +"My money seems melting away. I suppose I shall hear something soon. If +Mrs. Dane comes back, it will be all right, but if she does not—oh, I +hope I shall not be a repetition of poor Miss Rill!" + +In the ensuing days, she practised the strictest economy, often going +without a midday meal, and making the excuse to her landlady that she +would be out at that time. She was glad that the spring weather made +it possible to go without a fire, but often she would be so cold and +hungry that she would go to bed at eight o'clock. In spite of all her +care, her little store decreased rapidly, and if it had not been for +her unswerving faith in God, she would have lost heart. As it was, she +went about with gay words on her lips and a smile for every one. + +She applied to various registries, hoping that perhaps she might find +some temporary engagement. But she realised that the competition, +without interest, was too great for her to be likely to succeed. Her +landlady could not make her out. Her weekly accounts were settled +promptly, and Hope's cheerfulness deceived her. + +"You do eat next to nothing, miss; I can't make out how you live!" + +"I'm very strong, Mrs. Edgar, and plain food suits me. I am not rolling +in riches, you know!" + +"Yet how much you did for that poor dear lady: nothing seemed too good +for her, and I know for certain that she couldn't pay for all them +dainties you gave her when she was sick." + +"But, you see, I had to get her well to be married," said Hope +laughing. "I take credit to myself for getting her well so quickly." + +"Well, I hopes you won't starve yourself," said Mrs. Edgar gloomily. +"There's a lot of that amongst gentlefolks in London. We sees a deal of +it in these kind of streets. Mrs. Smith next door had a lady—" + +But Hope cut Mrs. Edgar's reminiscences short. + +"I don't want to be frightened," she said, and she went out of doors +for a walk. + +That was her sole relaxation—a brisk walk across the parks, and the +spring flowers and sunshine cheered her. + +"It must be all right," she would say to herself. "I shall not be left +forsaken." + +And she would repeat to herself her favourite verse: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown? + Jesus we know, and He is on the throne.'" + +She got to know a good many of the inhabitants of her quiet street +through just giving them a cheerful greeting as she passed along. The +children soon began to smile at her, and looked for a bright word, +though they knew it would not be followed by pennies. And Hope began +to feel less lonely as she knew more of her neighbours' affairs. Mrs. +Edgar was always willing to give her any information, and though it +was generally tempered a little with gloomy philosophy, Hope learnt to +extract the sweet out of the bitter, and help with her cheery talk if +not with her purse. + +It had been a new experience to her to have no one to look after. She +had not been so situated since she had left her aunt in London, and +hardly knew whether she liked such an experience or not. + +One morning she felt unusually depressed. Sitting in her room after +breakfast, she did not know what to do with her day. + +"I think I must look up my friends. I wonder if, in these times, it +would be improper to ask Jim Horrocks to come and see me? He would tell +me if the Fosberrys are in town again, and where the Chesneys are." + +She walked out an hour later, and then, strangely enough, met Jim in +the street. + +He was, of course, delighted. + +"Fancy your being up in town. This is luck! Where are you staying? I've +been away for the last month in Scotland." + +"In lodgings by myself. I can't explain all in a minute. Are you busy?" + +"Of course I am, but I shall be busy with you to-day. Walk along with +me to the nearest post-office, so that I can send a wire to somebody." + +"No, Jim. Don't break an engagement. I am not going to run away." + +"You look more like dying away!" retorted Jim. "What on earth have you +been doing with yourself? You're a wraith! This comes of forsaking your +best friends, and turning yourself into a domestic servant! Now look +here, we'll enjoy ourselves; we'll lunch and dine at the 'Criterion,' +and I'll take you for a motor spin this afternoon, and we'll do a +theatre to-night. You needn't be prudish. Young women don't need +chaperons nowadays. Besides, you are your own mistress." + +Hope shook her head. + +[Illustration: "WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOURSELF? YOU'RE +A WRAITH!"] + +"You're very kind, Jim, but that kind of thing isn't my style now. I +doubt if in the old days I would have done it. If you can spare me an +hour, I shall be delighted to have a chat. But this afternoon will suit +me quite as well." + +"No time like the present. It's a nice day; wait till I have sent my +wire, and then we'll go across the park." + +Hope acquiesced. She was soon telling Jim of the change in her +circumstances, but though she made very light of her perplexities, Jim +read between the lines and understood. + +"It's enough to raise your aunt's ghost!" he said. "But you're +altogether too quixotic to be wise. Now what news have I to tell you? +Minnie Chesney is getting married. Have you not received an invitation? +They're in your part of the world." + +"It may have gone to King's Dell, and not been forwarded. But in any +case, I would not have gone." + +"The Fosberrys are still abroad. I fancy they mean to cure Lady May's +infatuation for slumming. The Murrays are in town, and the Sclaters, +and Barrys, and the Ismore-Jones—and the De Waldrons and—" + +"Oh, spare me!" cried Hope. "I don't want to see one of them." + +"Are you a vegetarian?" Jim demanded suddenly. + +Hope laughed. + +"It isn't bad fare, but I'm not one by principle." + +"But by practice. Hope, you shall, for old acquaintance' sake, come +and have a rattling good lunch with me. And I know where we will go. +I have an old aunt; I believe you met her once. She is staying at +the Grosvenor—Mrs. Dalby-Popples—sounds like a character in Dickens, +doesn't it? She's delighted if I look her up; you and I will lunch with +her, and we'll go there now. Hansom!" + +He had hailed one, and Hope found herself in it, driving away to the +Grosvenor Hotel, before she could remonstrate. + +"What will she say, Jim?" + +"You wait and see." + +"I hope you won't tell her you found me starving in the street; your +insinuations are rather that way?" + +"Ah! There's a spark of the old Hope left! I began to think your +circumstances had crushed the spirit out of you! I shall tell her what +I like, and you are not to be cantankerous!" + +"I believe I do remember your aunt. Her name is quite familiar. Didn't +you bring her to the Academy one day when we were there?" + +"Yes; she comes up to town about once in seven years. Here we are!" + +Hope was soon shaking hands with Mrs. Dalby-Popples, who was a stout +old lady with a placid smile and great simplicity of nature. "This is +Miss St. Clair, an old friend of yours, aunt—at least, she ought to be +if she's not, for she and I have been chums for over twenty years. You +know Mrs. Daubeney. She was Hope's aunt." + +"Really? Very glad to see you, Miss St. Clair. You must stay to +luncheon. I always lunch in my private sitting-room, and it will be +delightful to have visitors. I know very few people in town, and I +suppose I am not attractive in myself. I don't entertain, and I'm not +very rich; I assure you I spend a month here, and see perhaps six +people. I don't count Jim. He comes and goes as he likes. Are you a +special friend of his, my dear?" + +She asked this so meaningly that the colour rose in Hope's cheeks. Jim +looked at her and laughed. + +"Oh, we ought to have been married long ago," he said. "And even now +the wheel of fate may turn in my favour. But another man is the lucky +chap at present." + +"We have only met each other by chance to-day in the street," said +Hope, regaining her composure. "Jim brought me straight here." + +"You look rather delicate, my dear. I wonder if you ever take Parish's +Food; I have given it to several of my young friends with most marked +success. Are you engaged to be married? I wonder if I know the young +fellow?" + +Hope gave Lancelot's name, and Mrs. Dalby-Poppies chatted pleasantly +on, till lunch was ready. Hope enjoyed every moment of that visit. +She seemed to shake off a little of her tiredness and gravity, and +determining to live in the present only, she proved a very cheerful and +entertaining visitor to the old lady. + +When she left her, it was with the promise that she would come and see +her again. Jim escorted her to her lodgings, and frowned disapproval at +her street. + +"It's respectable, but sordid," he said. "How long do you mean to stay +here?" + +"It suits my purse," said Hope. "I am thinking of getting some +employment, Jim. What do you think I could do?" + +"Pretty nearly anything you turned your hand to," responded Jim. +"Hasn't that always been the case with you? You were always good at +games, I remember, beat me hollow at tennis more than once; golf, +hockey, whatever it was, you always shone in it!" + +"Thank you. But I want to earn money, so games would do me no good. +Will you come in?" + +"You know you don't want me to!" + +"Well, I must thank you for introducing me to your aunt, and for a very +pleasant day." + +"It is only 'au revoir,'" said Jim, as he shook hands with her. + +Hope went upstairs to her room to find two letters awaiting her; one +from Kitty, the other was her Indian mail. + + + +Chapter XXIII + +WAITING + +LANCELOT'S letter was written from a sick bed. He had had a bad attack +of fever, and had been unable to write. He was in great concern over +Hope, and told her that circumstances were guiding him to return home +at once. + + "My bailiff in the North has died very suddenly," he wrote, "and I am +wanted to look into things. And now you are free, I am impatient to +get to you. I cannot bear to think of you as housekeeping companion +to that penurious old Squire. I was very doubtful, as I told you, +whether I ought to have returned to India, and the doctors say I've +been here long enough. I should not think of my health if I were really +needed out here, but everything points to my returning. As soon as I +can travel, I shall get back to my mother, and see what she thinks. +Meanwhile, will you promise to take the greatest care of yourself for +my sake? I know you will not do it for yours." + +This, and much more, brought the colour to Hope's cheeks and the light +to her eyes. + +"He is coming back. I need have no anxiety now." + +And then she wondered if his health was really bad, and when she could +hear again, for he had told her that he might send a cablegram, if he +decided to come home at once. + +For a long time she sat in happy dreams over her letter, then she took +up Kitty's. + + "MY DARLING HOPE,—HOW I hate Mr. Spencer! I was in such a fury when +I heard how he treated you that I dashed out of the house determined +to have it out with him, and then I tumbled downstairs in my furious +haste, and wrenched my ankle, and had to lie up a whole week. Of course +this is his fault, not mine! Well, yesterday I managed to get to him; +but I encountered a very grand lady in the hall, who said she was his +sister. Directly she spoke of you, we were the greatest friends, for I +told her what an angel you were, and she seemed to agree so thoroughly. +I couldn't help laughing when we went in to Mr. Spencer, and I felt +rather sorry for him too! + + "Mrs. Harper said, 'Miss Parr has come to ask why Miss St. Clair is not +here.' + + "He was sitting at his study table pretending to read the newspaper, +and he turned round with a half-shamed look on his face. + + "'You women plague my life out!' he growled. + + "Then I spoke up. 'That Mrs. Hadley does, and you ought to get rid of +her!' + + "'Oh,' said Mrs. Harper coolly, 'she's going this afternoon, both she +and her husband—I have arranged that. This house is not fit for pigs to +live in.' + + "Then Mr. Spencer broke into a kind of sobbing fury; he seemed quite +helpless, and yet as angry as he could be. + + "'You're turning my house inside out, and when you've cleared out my +servants, you'll leave me to be ruined and cheated by extravagant +worthless creatures, who will make my life a misery!' + + "'I'm going to see that you live in comfort, as a gentleman should,' +said Mrs. Harper, 'and I shall not leave you till it's done.' + + "I chuckled. Then I wondered how she would manage, and suggested that +Mrs. Goddles and a niece of hers should come in till proper servants +could be found. I went off at once and settled that; and to-day Mrs. +Harper came up to us to say that the Squire wanted you back, and that +when the Hadleys had really left, he seemed quite relieved in his mind. +She is such a capable woman that I believe she will alter the whole of +Mr. Spencer's house, and make him live like other people. She says she +will stay till she does it, and the Squire seems quite helpless in her +hands. + + "I've had a jolly letter from Brian, and I'm going to write every month +to him. Dad says I'm not to write oftener. Mr. and Mrs. Manners are +a great joke. I passed by to-day and found them following each other +all over the garden. They come to church and sit close together like +two love-birds, and she walks home leaning on his arm and looking +quite pretty! She has started the poultry again, and they're full of +business as well as love. When I marry, I shall never take Brian's arm, +and never follow him about or wait upon him; but I'm sure he wouldn't +expect it. The only time I shall be really affectionate to him will be +when he is very ill, or when he's just going away on a long journey. +You'll have to come back to us. Every one misses you so. Tons of love. + + "Your affectionate + + "KITTY." + +Hope smiled and sighed over this letter. She was not surprised when the +next post brought her a letter from the Squire. + +It was as follows:— + + "DEAR MISS ST. CLAIR,—As the Hadleys have gone, will you come back? My +sister, Mrs. Harper, is bewildering me by her rapid movements. I am +humouring her by letting her act as she likes, but I am master of my +own house, and mean to be. I tell her she need have no expectations +from me. If you come back, it must be for good and all, I am too old +for these changes. They are most upsetting. As I have hinted before, +you will not be the loser at my death by pleasing me in my lifetime. My +sister is behaving as if I am a millionaire. I tell her she must pay +for all luxuries herself. Food and clothes are what she considers the +chief ends in life. If she kept under her body a little more, it might +give her brain a chance of making itself apparent. + + "Yours truly, + + "ALAN T. SPENCER. + + "P.S.—I should hope that foolish entanglement of yours has come to a +conclusion. I can do better for you than he." + +"Poor old man!" said Hope, with real pity and concern. "After all my +efforts, he is as closely wrapped up in self and money as ever he was! +Oh, how I wish his heart could be reached and touched!" + +She debated within herself as to whether she should return to him or +not. And then that same evening, she got a cablegram forwarded from +King's Dell post-office. + + "Coming home by 'Malabar.'—DANE." + +The next day Jim appeared, with a message from his aunt. She wanted +Hope to drive down to Richmond that afternoon with her. + +Hope assented, and walking to the Grosvenor with Jim, told him of her +letters. + +"I want advice. I think I had better wait in town till the 'Malabar' +arrives. I suppose Mrs. Dane is returning with her son. I should not +like them to find me at Mr. Spencer's. And he would be furious if I +left him again so soon." + +"Of course, you mustn't go near that old screw. He treated you +abominably. I'll find out when the 'Malabar' is due." + +"But I feel so sorry for the old man." + +"He has his sister with him. Don't you see that if you go down, you'll +only oust her, and she's the proper person to look after him!" + +"I did hope," said Hope, a little wistfully, "that I could have got him +to view life in a different way. We used to have some very nice talks +sometimes." + +"Oh, rot, my dear girl! You can't expect an old fellow like that to +change the habits of a lifetime after a few talks with you. Leave him +alone. Now don't put on a long face!" + +"But, Jim, isn't it awful? What a master habit can become! You see, +since he met with a disappointment, the Squire has lived all his life +for himself alone. He doesn't reckon other people at all. It has made +him genuinely and perfectly miserable. I can't help thinking of the end +of his life. How sorry he will be then, that he has wasted it so." + +"Ah, well, we don't all look at things so seriously," said Jim. "And +what man or woman does not live for self? It's the natural thing to +do! Good people are quite as selfish as profligate sinners; it's a +mere matter of fancy. It pleases some to amuse themselves one way, it +pleases others to amuse themselves another. Churchgoing, philanthropy, +politics, racing, and gambling are only favourite pursuits of various +natures." + +"But, Jim, do you think we are meant to live utterly irresponsible? We +are not heathen." + +"We are not all devotees of religion. How would the world go on if we +were?" + +"It would be heaven," said Hope. + +Jim laughed. + +"I like to hear you talk," he said. "I do admire you for holding tight +to your faith through all your buffetings of fate, but I couldn't do it +myself." + +"You don't want to." + +"I am content as I am." + +"Oh, Jim, if you only knew what a difference it makes when God is +inside our lives instead of outside! You're not an infidel; you go to +church. Why don't you believe properly what you pretend to believe?" + +Jim looked at her gravely. + +"You're hitting hard. That is the weak point of my religion, I own. +We English are not as religious as the Hindus or Mohammedans. They +aren't ashamed of their religion—we are. That is one of the results of +excessive civilisation." + +"I hope I am not ashamed of mine," said Hope thoughtfully. "I find it +difficult to talk to people about it. I wish I did not." + +"Well, you've talked to me about it, and now we'll talk of something +else." + +It was always the way with Jim. He could never be serious long. Hope +sighed inwardly. She wanted every one she liked to have the same +happiness that she had, and she knew there was only the one source from +which it could come. + + +For the next few days she felt rather undecided as to what she +had better do. Then she heard that the 'Malabar' would arrive in +a fortnight's time, and that decided her. She wrote kindly to Mr. +Spencer, telling him exactly how she was situated. She also wrote to +his sister. + +And a few days afterwards, she had a visit from her. + +"I am up in town again for a few days. I am really going to take up +my abode for the present at 'The Retreat.' I have found a capital man +and his wife. I am taking down a maid for myself, and I mean to have a +village girl in by the day. A very small household for such a house, +but I have to go gently. My dear Miss St. Clair, you have bewitched +my poor brother. He quotes you to me on every occasion, and is really +heartbroken that you won't return. I have had a dreadful time with him, +but his age tells upon him, and I think that if he finds he can rely +upon me to manage his household without any trouble to him, he will +be willing to leave it in my hands. Those Hadleys, were rogues. They +simply cheated and stole right and left. I think with my additional two +maids I shall manage more economically than with them. I have given my +brother a very straight talk. + +"'You are selfish, and I am selfish,' I said to him. 'Unless we both +prepare to exercise a little unselfishness, we shall never pull +together!' + +"He didn't like it at first, but I believe he is afraid of being left +alone again, and I am almost inclined to think that some of your words +are sticking to him. He said to me a night or two ago, when we were +sitting over the fire in his smoking-room,— + +"'It's a wonderful thing to stand by and live by one's creed as that +girl does!' + +"You are always 'that girl,' let me say. I listened, but said nothing. +Presently he said again,— + +"'If she had come back to me, I meant to have had a regular turn round +amongst my tenants. She would so have enjoyed putting things a bit +straight!' + +"'Well,' I said, 'I shall enjoy that, and I'll help you to do it!' + +"And I mean to keep him up to it, Miss St. Clair. His property is a +disgrace to him!" + +"Yes," assented Hope. "I think he has drifted into doing nothing, and +finds it difficult to start now. I am so thankful you are going to live +with him." + +Mrs. Harper looked at her with twinkling eyes. + +"You are a strange young woman. Why do you take such an interest in +him? Is it your way to befriend everybody you come across? I never do." + +"No," said Hope slowly, "I don't think I am quick to make friends, but +I can't help being interested in people with whom I am brought into +touch." + +"Are you interested in me?" + +"I think I am a little. I felt you had it in your power to make him +happy, and you are going to do it." + +Mrs. Harper laughed. + +"When are you going to be married? And where are you going to settle? I +don't want to lose sight of you." + +Hope promised to write and let her know, when she knew herself, and +Mrs. Harper departed to collect her belongings in town and convey them +down to her brother's. Hope was very busy that fortnight. She had not +much money left, but she felt more satisfied with her wardrobe when she +had been able to give it some consideration. Her heart danced within +her as the 'Malabar' drew nearer to the shores of England. She counted +every day, and was so full of the future that her landlady declared she +imagined she could live on air. And then the eventful day came at last, +and faithful Jim came round in the morning to know if he could be of +any service to her. + +"They will think I am at King's Dell," said Hope. "I should like you to +meet them and tell them where I am. Is it asking too much of you, Jim? +I would rather not meet them myself at the docks. I know they will come +to Claridge's. Mrs. Dane always stays there." + +Jim made a wry face. "Hasn't he any brothers? I thought one was a +barrister in town. Why don't you write to him?" + +"Paul has been ill and gone abroad. Rufus is in the North somewhere, +and cannot leave his wife who is in delicate health. I know it is +asking a good deal." + +"Oh, I'm your man! But I never did like taking a back seat, so after +to-day, I'll make myself scarce. If there's anything shady about him, +or you want a man on your side, a wire will always bring me to you. I +think I'll say goodbye." + +"Jim, you're a dear!" + +Hope shook hands with him with tears in her eyes. She knew this was a +parting that would last; for Jim would be as good as his word. He would +come to her if she wanted him, but he could not stand seeing another +man have the first right to her. + +He went, and Hope endeavoured to occupy herself and keep herself from +becoming impatient for the hours to pass. She tried to improve the look +of her sitting-room, and was delighted when her landlady brought her in +a bunch of daffodils. + +"A man called with a basketful, miss. I took the liberty of getting +some. I know you're expecting visitors!" + +Mrs. Edgar nodded her head mysteriously, and then added that she was +getting a very nice tea ready in case the gentleman would like it when +he arrived. Though Hope begged her not to do it, nothing would stop +her. And presently the round table was covered with Mrs. Edgar's best +white cloth, a plate of shrimps, some watercress, a currant cake, two +pots of jam, and a large plate of cut bread and butter. + +Hope smiled to herself, but gave up remonstrating. + +"And I've a couple of muffins a-toasting downstairs, and the kettle is +biling, so all you've got to do, miss, is to ring the bell when you +want to make the tea." + +With that Mrs. Edgar departed, and then as Hope sat by her window, +sudden fear overtook her. + +Supposing the "Malabar" arrived without him? He might have been taken +worse. He might be on board very ill. Perhaps Jim would miss seeing +them. They might have landed at Plymouth. Trouble and doubt crept into +her eyes as the time went by and there were no signs of any arrival. + +It was a bright spring afternoon, a tempting opportunity for many +to venture out of doors. On the opposite side crept an old man, on +crutches, with a violent cough. Every now and then he paused to cough, +and the attacks left him weak and breathless. Further up the street was +an organ-grinder with a circle of dancing children round him. Not many +cabs or carriages passed through the street; a few tradesmen's carts +were standing at different houses; the servant-maids, and in some cases +the mistresses, were many of them standing on the doorstep enjoying a +chat in the sunshine. + +Hope looked and noted every detail. How would her surroundings strike +her lover? Would he come to her this afternoon or not? She left the +window with a little shiver, and turned to stir the fire. It was +extravagant having one, with her slender purse, but she had been +anxious to make her room look as comfortable as possible. Then at +last she heard the sound of wheels, a sharp ring at the door, and two +minutes later, as she stood in the middle of the room breathless with +expectancy, the door opened and Lancelot came towards her. + +She had only time to note that he looked brown, and thin, but with his +arms round her, his voice sounding in her ears, her surroundings seemed +to melt away, she was wafted into a little paradise. At last she found +words, and came back to the practical world. + +"Is your mother with you?" + +"At Claridge's. I am to bring you to her at once. Now, my darling, let +me look at you. How I have hungered for this moment! You are thin and +fragile-looking; have you been ill?" + +"No, I am always very strong." + +Lancelot looked round the room. His keen, quick eye took note of +everything. As his glance fell upon the table, he said: + +"A London landlady's tea! But have you been living on shrimps and bread +and butter?" + +"You are not to laugh at it. It has been spread in honour of you. Will +you delight her heart and have some tea?" + +[Illustration: HER SURROUNDINGS SEEMED TO MELT AWAY, SHE WAS WAFTED +INTO A LITTLE PARADISE.] + +"I ask for nothing better than this—with you!" + +Hope's checks were pink with excitement, her eyes shone. She rang the +bell, and had the kettle and the muffins brought in. Lancelot sat down, +but though he tasted of the fare Mrs. Edgar had provided, his eyes +never left Hope's face. + +"I liked your cottage better than this," he said; "why are you here?" + +"I have a lot to tell you. But my news will wait. Are you well again? I +have been so anxious." + +"I picked up, as I always do, on the voyage home. It was unfortunate +that I should have been sent to an unhealthy station. I was very vexed +with myself for not being able to stand it better, but as you know I +came home on sick-leave a year ago, and I don't think I had a fair +start. Hope, you must have your belongings sent to Claridge's. You +shall not sleep here another night. My mother expects you." + +"Oh, but you take my breath away! I am very comfortable here." + +"This will be your last meal here, I can tell you!" + +He said it with a smile, but Hope recognised the masterful tone. She +did not resent it. She had taken care of others for so long, that it +was delicious to her to feel that it was now her turn to be managed and +cared for. + +"I don't know that I can leave so suddenly," she said gently. + +"I will arrange it. Leave your luggage here till to-morrow, if you +like, but my mother is expecting you to dine and sleep." + +"Did Jim meet you at the docks?" + +"Yes, and it was good news to me to find you in town. Now I am +impatient to take you to more comfortable quarters. Will you get ready, +and I will tell your landlady?" + +Hope meekly obeyed. It was in the hansom, driving to Claridge's, that +she told Lancelot how it was she was in town. But to him she made light +of her previous anxieties and shortness of money. Yet his brows were +knitted more than once, and just before they reached the hotel, he took +her hand in his, and said in a quiet tense tone: + +"It will be my business now to see that those kind of worries never +touch you." + +The tears rushed into Hope's eyes. + +Then she said, trying to smile: + +"Well, through it all, Lancelot, I think I can say I have had— + + "'Peace, perfect peace.'" + + + +Chapter XXIV + +WEDDING BELLS + +WHEN Hope found Mrs. Dane's welcoming arms round her, she clung to +her almost hysterically. The relief and rest, after her anxious life +lately, were too much for her. + +"Oh," she said, with a sob in her throat, "I have longed for you so! +I really believe I have longed as much for you as for Lancelot; only +don't tell him so. I feel as if I am twenty years younger at this +moment than I was this time yesterday. Girls talk of independence and +freedom! I am longing to be dependent on some one, to let myself go +without any more thought or contrivance, knowing that I have people at +the back of me. Am I getting incoherent? I feel quite unnerved." + +"You look strained to pieces," said Mrs. Dane, placing her hand in a +motherly fashion under Hope's chin, and turning her face upwards with +tender solicitude. "Your life has been too hard, too rough, dear; what +could your brother have been thinking about, to let you get so thin and +worn!" + +"Brian? Oh, it is ages since I have been with him. I am not ill; I am +very strong, you know, but I missed the boys when they left me. I think +I have been quite homesick for them." + +"I shall not let you leave me till you are married," said Mrs. Dane, in +her quiet decisive manner. "There is no one in England to dispute my +claim, is there?" + +"No one," said Hope, with a smile and a sigh. + +Mrs. Dane seemed as if she could not do enough for Hope that evening. +She took her to a comfortable bedroom next to her own, which she had +had prepared for her. And there, in a big easy chair by a blazing fire, +she made her sit and talk to her. + +"We will have our tea brought to us. Lancelot has had to go to the +station about some of our luggage. He can have his turn with you after +dinner; this is my opportunity. I want to hear everything, Hope, +dearest. Treat me like a mother, tell me everything about yourself. How +little I thought when I left you that you would want me so soon! Tell +me about that terrible flood." + +So, leaning back amongst her cushions, with a laughing protest at +being considered an invalid, Hope began her story. She told Mrs. Dane +everything; her love and sympathy seemed to demand full confidence. + +She described in detail the terrible time when the cottage was +inundated, the last hours of her father's life, and the consequent +breaking up of the home. She told of Kitty's engagement to Brian—for +Hope would always consider it such—and then of her life with the old +Squire, and her subsequent visit to London. The story of Miss Rill's +discovery and of her marriage interested Mrs. Dane greatly. But when +Hope came to speak of her life in lodgings since that event, there was +more hesitation in her tone, Mrs. Dane's quick intuition solved the +cause. + +"Hope, dearest, confide in me. There need be no secrets. You told me +long ago that you were entirely dependent on your father. You have said +that your brother handed you over a small sum, and I am positively +certain that Miss Rill's expenses swallowed up the greater part of it. +Have you been starving yourself? You look like it. Have you found it +difficult to make both ends meet? No, don't answer me. I see that you +have." + +And then Hope put her face in her hands and sobbed aloud. + +[Illustration: HOPE PUT HER FACE IN HER HANDS AND SOBBED ALOUD.] + +"My pride has long ago departed, Mrs. Dane. It has been a bitter +thought that your son is taking a penniless girl for his wife. I have +struggled and struggled to keep a little in hand. I have tried hard +to earn something, but here I am, as you see, absolutely homeless and +penniless. What would you feel like if you were in my shoes? I suppose +God sees it to be good for me, otherwise He would have ordered it +differently. I can only feel grateful that it is myself that Lancelot +wants, for he knows I will bring him nothing else!" + +Mrs. Dane's thoughts went back to that first evening when she saw Hope +enter Kayminster Cathedral. She remembered the dainty, richly-dressed +girl, who looked as if wealth and luxury had always been her portion, +and she glanced at that same girl now. What she saw brought a smile to +her lips and eyes. She laid her hand tenderly on Hope's soft brown head. + +"We must not have tears, Hope, dearest. I know which daughter-in-law +I prefer. I have seen you in prosperity, and I see you now, and the +cares and privation and loss of all that makes life dear to most girls, +has only refined and strengthened and beautified your soul. I am not +flattering you. Thank God that He has been your Teacher, and thank Him +for helping you to learn your lessons so well." + +Hope was ashamed of her loss of self-control. + +"I am unnerved to-day," she said looking up with a smile. "It is +good of you to speak so. I wish I deserved such praise. I have been +selfishly taking up all this time in talking of my own affairs. Now +tell me about yourself and Lancelot." + +They sat by the fire, talking till nearly dinner-time. Lancelot +returned in time for it, and it was served in their private +sitting-room. And then afterwards Mrs. Dane retired to her room, giving +the young couple an opportunity of being alone together. + +They had a great deal to tell each other, though perhaps Lancelot did +most of the talking. Hope was too happy to say much, and she was tired, +feeling the strain of the past few weeks more, now that it was over, +than she had done at the time. She sat still in her easy chair, and +when Lancelot was not by her side, he was standing on the rug, looking +down upon her. She caught one of his intent glances, and laughed up at +him. + +"I am nothing much to look at; I don't believe you have listened to my +last remark." + +"If you knew how I had hungered for this moment, you would understand +what a feast you are to my eyes," he replied gravely. Then he sat down +by her side, and took her hand in his. "I am brimful of plans," he +said, "and want your assistance. First of all, when are we going to +be married? I should like it to be to-morrow. You do not want a show +ceremony, Hope?" + +"No," she said, a little startled by his eager haste. "But you must +give me breathing space." + +"I want you to come straight to the North with me. I think you will +like Brunsworthy Hall. I am due there at once. Why should we not go +down as man and wife?" + +Hope remained silent for a moment, then she looked up sweetly. + +"Let me talk to your mother about it. I will not keep you waiting long. +Tell me about your country home." + +So Lancelot told her all he knew, and described the old stone house +near the Yorkshire moors, and the tenants upon his property, and +the neighbours round, and then he and Hope began to make plans for +improving the moral state of the poor. + +"We are five miles from church, and the Vicar is old and feeble, +there is no one to visit in the village, and the state of some of +the families there is not much better than that of the heathen. The +properties are large, and our friends will be few and far between, but +I am certain that you will not feel lonely, for you will have many to +help and comfort." + +"You amongst them," said Hope, with a flush on her cheek and light in +her eye. "Oh, Lancelot, I am a very happy woman to-night!" + +The time went very quickly. Mrs. Dane came into the room at last, to +advise Hope going to bed, and as she laid her head on her pillow that +night, she felt like a battered storm-tossed craft landed safely in a +quiet haven. + +The next few days seemed like a dream to her. There was a great deal +of shopping to be done. Hope went to her lodgings to pack up all her +belongings and to say goodbye to her landlady. + +Mrs. Edgar was sincerely sorry to lose her. + +"But marriage be in the air, and Mrs. Green next door she says to me,— + +"'Why, Mrs. Edgar,' she says; 'how you do marry hoff your ladies. +'Twill advertise your house surely!' + +"Mrs. Green she were uncommon struck with Miss Rill a-coming back to me +to be married, and now 'tis you, miss; but the minute I saw you I says +to myself, 'My house won't be long for her.' You had it in your own +air, miss, that though you were alone and not—excuse me—over-smartly +dressed, yet there was that about you told you were of the quality, and +I knew from the look of you that you were too good to be one of these +poor single women that crowds the hoffices in the city. I'm sure I've +never had such a lodger for cheerin' of me hup. 'Tis generally the ways +of lodgers to think their landladies just a servant; but to credit them +with hearts and feelin's like themselves—no, never!" + +It was a fortnight afterwards that Hope went quietly to church one +morning with Mrs. Dane in a private brougham, and was married. Paul +Dane was present, but no one else—Jim Horrocks had fortunately gone out +of town; Hope had seen him once since she had been at Claridge's, and +had thanked him gratefully for all his services. + +"I mean to be one of your friends still," he said to her, "when I +have recovered from the shock of your approaching marriage, for I +think it great nonsense when a husband tries to cut his wife's old +acquaintances." + +"Lancelot will never do that," said Hope, with assurance. + +"I'm thankful for your sake that you have some one to look after you at +last," said Jim. "And don't you stay up in that cold 'North countree' +too long! Make your husband bring you up to town, so that your old +friends can see something of you." + +Hope smiled; with very few exceptions she felt as if she never cared to +see any of her London friends again. They had dropped her when she had +left her aunt's. She did not wish to renew their acquaintance now. But +she had the pleasure of a flying visit from Hester Chesney before her +wedding-day. + +Hester was passing through town, and had accidentally heard of Hope's +whereabouts. She kissed her most affectionately. + +"I thought I had lost you altogether," she said. "We have been away so +much, and since Minnie's marriage, I am a great deal tied to my mother. +But I managed to get over and see Mrs. Manners the other day. How you +have figured in her little romance! I think it is quite delightful +to see the quaint old couple in their cottage. And now your turn is +coming. I don't know that I don't envy you." + +"Oh, Hester!" + +Something in her friend's tone touched Hope. Hester looked very worn +and tired in spirit. She laughed a little constrainedly. + +"Your eyes are big with sympathy at once! It is only that my life is +going through a process of fresh adjustment. I told you, when Minnie +left us, that I should have to go the social rounds with my mother. My +bees and flowers are consequently suffering. You know your Bible. I +feel I have been like Moses, in the back side of the desert, and how I +have enjoyed it! Now—" + +"Now," interrupted Hope eagerly, "you are going to help your brethren +in the land of bondage, to rid them of their burdens. Oh, you can, +Hester! Much better than I ever could! Let us carry on the parable. +Aren't there many who feel the burden of a society life, of keeping up +appearances when they have not the means, of laughing when their hearts +are aching, and entertaining and making life pleasant for others, when +they themselves are full of bitterness and disappointment? You know +their ways. You can help them." + +"How?" cried Hester, a little fiercely. "You are always so visionary, +Hope! I am not such a success myself that they would be attracted by +my influence! I see the hollowness of most of it, but I don't see any +cure." + +"You will if you go to the right Physician, and read His Book," said +Hope softly. + +Hester turned abruptly away. + +Hope tactfully spoke of other things, but when they wished each other +goodbye, Hester said, in her abrupt way: + +"I always told you that you had found the right path in life, and if +you have found it, there is no earthly reason why I should not do so, +too. I will follow your clue, and will tell you the result—when I +arrive at it." + +Hope's wedding-day was a bright sunny one in the middle of May. The +service seemed like a dream to her; she returned to the hotel, where +they had a substantial luncheon, and then they left by a midday train +for Yorkshire. + +Mrs. Dane came to the station to see them off, accompanied by Paul. + +"It will not be goodbye for long," Hope said to her; "for you are +coming to stay with us very soon." + +And Mrs. Dane promised that she would do so. + +"I have not lost a son," she said; "only gained a daughter." + + +When they were off, Lancelot turned to Hope with a sigh of infinite +relief. + +They were comfortably established in a first-class carriage. + +"We shall be alone at last," he said. "I don't think a wedding is an +enjoyable performance, do you?" + +Hope laughed a little shyly. + +"It is the feeling that it is such a tremendous thing that paralyses +one, I believe. I can't make myself clear, but I am only now realising +that we are man and wife." + +Lancelot responded as only a lover can. He showered every attention on +her, and as they swiftly passed through the lovely English country, +noting the lambs in the meadows, the hedges of white hawthorn, and the +snowy fruit-blossoms in the orchards, she exclaimed: + +"I would like this journey to last for ever, just you and I, with no +outsiders to distract us. The end of it will bring business and thought +to you. Now we are selfishly engrossed with ourselves. Our circle is +very small, but—" + +"It is intense," put in Lancelot, "like the focus of a magnifying glass +in the sun, the smaller the circle, the more force and power there are +existing." + +Hope took time to think this out. + +"It doesn't sound right," she said, laughing; "for the smallest circle +one can have is round oneself, and that is stagnation." + +"Yes, one absolutely comes to a standstill in that case, but we revolve +round each other, do we not? Oh, Hope, little woman, we will not talk +wisely to-day! I feel I have no words. I only want to have you close to +me, and remember that you are mine. I am thanking God for such a gift!" + +Hope rested her head against his shoulder in supreme content. + +"I am much afraid," she said, after a pause, "that I am a very +weak-minded old-fashioned woman. My greatest comfort and solace now is +thinking that I shall never have to think for myself again. I shall +lean hard on you, dearest, and I feel that you will never fail me. The +strength of a man mentally and physically is such a comfort and rest to +me. I never can understand why women fight for supremacy!" + +"Equality, is it not?" said Lancelot, smiling. + +"Perhaps so. But why should they want to take up the burden and cares +of responsibility? It is what brings grey hair and wrinkles to many a +single woman before her time!" + +"You are a little philosopher. I am ready to ease you of all that I can +in the future." + +"No, you must not make me selfish. I shall wish to share with you where +I can." + +Then, after a few minutes' silence, she said: + +"I feel half afraid of happiness now, Lancelot—I mean such happiness +as ours at present. For a long time I have felt that I have needed +discipline. You see, I had such an easy self-indulgent life so long, +and then, when I really began to serve God, it seemed as if I needed +so much teaching that He changed all my circumstances, and He has been +leading me step by step ever since, teaching me to trust when I can't +see. I wonder if I have learnt my lesson properly, and whether He +thinks a little green pasture and rest good for me now?" + +Lancelot looked down upon Hope's sweet face with great tenderness. + +"It will be green pastures for me, too. Don't let us question our +happiness, but take it with thankful hearts, my darling." + +The express sped on; day was deepening into dusk. The young couple +relapsed into silence. Both were in rapt and dreamy enjoyment of the +present moment, when suddenly, without any warning, there was a shriek +of the whistle, a momentary slacking of the terrific pace at which they +were going, a grinding crash, an awful shock—and then oblivion, dark +and total! + + + +Chapter XXV + +IN THE BORDERLAND + +HOPE came to her senses very gradually. + +First she thought she was in bed, just waking up, and for a moment she +began to wonder where she was. Then she was conscious of voices, and +then of some one touching her. She opened her eyes. A strange man was +bending over her. + +"Do not be anxious. You have no bones broken, and I have dressed your +only wound. You were stunned. How do you feel?" + +"What is the matter with me?" + +Hope's voice was feeble and weak. + +"You had a nasty cut on your head, but it was not very deep." + +"I—I feel so stupid and dizzy—oh, I was in the train—where is +Lancelot—my husband?" + +There was silence. In a moment she had sprung up from a sofa on which +she had been lying. She found herself in the first-class waiting-room +of a railway station. The doctor who had been attending to her was +already turning away, and a hospital nurse came forward. + +"Please keep still," she said. "It will be better for you. The doctor +is so busy; so many are needing him. It has been a terrible accident. +Happily you were only outside our station, and we were wired for at +once. A great many have already been moved to the hospital here." + +Hope hardly heard her. In agony she pushed her aside, stumbling across +several other women in reclining positions on the floor, and rapidly +made her way along the platform. It was crowded. Impromptu litters had +been made, and were being carried along the line; cabs were taking off +inanimate forms; everywhere men and women were hurrying to and fro, and +women's voices were raised in shrill cries for their belongings. + +"He is dead!" Hope said in her heart. + +In silence she went from one to the other, peering into the face of +every wounded man. At last, some one touched her on the arm. + +"Are you looking for any one?" It was an elderly porter who spoke. + +"My husband. Where are those who are dead?" + +"'Tis hard to say. They've taken the worst cases to the hospital. What +kind of gent was he?" + +Hope did not answer. She flew to a cab. + +"Take me to the hospital," she exclaimed. "Quick! I must find my +husband." + +It was not very far. In the entrance-hall a sister met her. She had +already received many distracted relatives. + +"Yes," she said, "I will help you, if you describe your husband to me." + +"Tall," said Hope, a quick sob escaping her; "thin, a brown moustache, +a dark tweed suit, a buff covert coat, and violets in his buttonhole." + +She had placed the violets there herself. Was it a year ago? + +"Ah," said the sister gently, "he is here. I remember noting the +violets. Come in and wait. I will make inquiries." + +Hope was shown into a small waiting-room. Dizzy and weak, with an +aching throbbing head, she tried to calm herself, and prepare for the +worst. Her lips moved in prayer. + + "O God, we were so happy! Oh! I cannot bear it! Let him be alive! Let +him be alive!" + +It seemed hours before the sister returned, and she was accompanied by +one of the doctors. + +"I am sorry, madam," he said slowly, "but is your husband's name +Lancelot Dane?" + +"Yes. Is he dead?" + +Hope was surprised at the quietness of her own voice. + +"No—but I can hardly give you hope of his recovery. We discovered his +visiting-card in his pocket. That is how I know his name. He has been +badly crushed, and we fear injury to his spine." + +"Where is he? Take me to him." + +"You cannot see him just at present. He has not recovered +consciousness." + +"Take me to him. I am his wife." + +Hope's tone was peremptory. + +The sister laid her hand on her arm. + +"The doctors are attending to him now. You must wait, I am afraid. Are +you near home?" + +"I don't know where we are." + +"This is York. You were just coming into the station when the accident +occurred. But I am afraid your husband cannot be moved." + +She looked questioningly at the doctor as she spoke. He answered: + +"If Mrs.—Mrs. Dane had quiet rooms to which she could move him at once, +it might be done. Later it would be impossible." + +"I am a stranger. Sister, do you not know of any place I could take +him to? Our home is at Brunsworthy Hall, and that is thirty miles from +York." + +The sister hastily conferred with the doctor. + +Hope caught the words: + +"No room—such small accommodation—better with a private nurse." + +And then the sister spoke to her again. + +"I do know of some very nice rooms. The landlady is most reliable. We +think Mr. Dane might be moved in an hour's time." + +"He is very ill," said the doctor, looking at Hope gravely. "Have you +any friends who had better be told?" + +"Oh," cried Hope; "we were only married this morning!" + +He murmured something which she could not catch, and left the room. + +"I will give you the address of rooms," said the sister. "Would you not +like to go to them now, so that you could be ready for your husband +when we send him?" + +Hope turned away with a nod of assent. She could not trust herself to +speak. + +It was a good thing for her that she was forced to act. She went out +into the street and soon found the rooms. The landlady rose to the +occasion. A bed was prepared in a large bedroom on the ground floor, +and two hours later Hope was face to face with her husband. Alas, she +could hardly recognise him! He seemed to her to be in bandages from +head to foot. A nurse came with him and a doctor. Hope could only stand +by in agony of soul, and see them doing all that was necessary. Then +she overheard her landlady speaking to the doctor in the hall; and she +heard his reply given in quick decided tones. + +"He has not the slightest chance. He may linger some days. We have done +all we can for him, and he has a capital nurse. If he lives beyond +to-morrow, I will send a night nurse. It is too critical a case to +leave to his wife." + +Hope wondered vaguely why there was need of nurses, if he were dying. + +She seemed now almost stupefied, and when her landlady came into the +room, and asked her if she would like some food before she went to bed, +she was powerless to make reply. In a vague misty way she found herself +drinking some hot soup in bed, and then she fell into a troubled sleep, +and did not wake till the morning dawned. + +Mrs. Forsett, her landlady, told her afterwards that she had, with the +help of the nurse, undressed her and got her to bed. + +"'Twas your poor hurt head, ma'am, and the shock of it all, that seemed +to have stunned you." + +But when Hope woke the next day, her head was painfully clear. She was +very soon in her husband's room, but he lay in a stupor from which it +was impossible to rouse him. + +It was now that she sent off telegrams to Mrs. Dane and to Lancelot's +housekeeper, and reproached herself with not having done so the night +before. + +Then, not being able to help in the sick-room, for the nurse was +getting her patient ready to see the doctors, she went out to get a few +more necessaries for the invalid. + +And it was in walking along the streets in the bright sunshine that +Hope went through her darkest time. + +"I cannot be resigned! Why should I be singled out for such +misfortunes? Oh, I might have been given a little happiness after all +I have gone through this past year! It seems so cruel, so unnecessary! +I cannot live without him! Why need it have happened? Why should I be +left to bear the desolation of life without him? What have I done to be +treated so? I have tried to be patient through all my troubles, but not +one of them really touched me like this one! The more I bear, the more +I have to bear!" + +She clenched her hands in the impotency of her despair. She knew she +was murmuring against God; she felt she was allowing the full tide of +rebellion and resentment against His chastening to rush in and flood +her soul; she remembered His sustaining power in times past, in the +peace that had been hers during all the stress of anxiety and trouble, +yet now nothing seemed to help her. + +"Shall I never have one word, one look from him? Has he drifted away +from me already? Oh! If only I had been allowed to suffer instead of +him!" + +She walked on; she gave her orders mechanically at the shops, and then +she retraced her steps homewards. She went straight to the sick-room. + +"Nurse," she said, "I am his wife. My place is by his side. I will not +be shut out of this room till—till the end comes." + +The nurse drew a chair up to the bedside. + +"Will you sit there, ma'am? I do not think you will disturb him." + +Hope sat there with a white still face. + +Doctors came and went. Lancelot's injuries had been very severe. A +broken collar-bone, concussion of the brain, broken ribs, and a bruised +body were not all the doctors feared. How Hope had escaped with so +little hurt was the marvel, for their carriage had been one of the +worst to suffer! Lancelot had evidently thrown himself upon her to +shield her, for he had been found on the top of her, and the roof of +the carriage was splintered over him. + +All that day and night she watched by the bedside, hoping in vain +to catch a spark of consciousness or of recognition. Early the next +morning Mrs. Dane arrived, white and worn with anxiety. Hope met her +with the same stony calm. She, for the first time since she had known +Mrs. Dane, shrank from being with her, and Mrs. Dane's quick intuition +perceived and understood it. + +"I will not come between you and him, my poor child, but you must +remember I am his mother." + +Then Hope's calm forsook her, and the bitterness of her tone appalled +her mother-in-law. + +"You have had him all his life, I have only had him for a few short +hours. I have been given a cup to raise to my lips, and then it has +been dashed away from me!" + +"Nothing is impossible with God," said Mrs. Dane gently. "Shall we pray +together that his life may be spared?" + +"I have not prayed since the accident. I cannot. I think my soul is +dead. I can only feel how cruel it is!" + +She went to the sick-room as she spoke, and did not see Mrs. Dane again +alone till they were lunching together. + +"Hope, dear, I think I realise how you feel; but you are not helping +yourself or poor Lancelot by keeping away from the One who alone can +help you." + +Hope looked at her mother-in-law with dull heavy eyes. + +"I think my faith has gone altogether," she said. + +"Then ask for it to be given back to you. Let me say your favourite +hymn. I keep repeating it to myself." + +Mrs. Dane repeated verse after verse of the hymn that had been Hope's +greatest comfort. Then in faltering tones she uttered the last verse +but one: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, death shadowing us and ours? + Jesus has vanquish'd death and all its powers.' + +"There is all eternity coming, Hope, darling, for you and for him. This +life will seem such a little bit, looking back." + +Hope was silent for a moment. Then she murmured: + +"If Christ would vanquish death now, and give him back to me for a few +short years, I feel I—oh, I can't say it! I believe the devil has taken +possession of me!" + +She quitted the room hastily. She felt such a tumult rising within +her that she could not return to the sick-room. She went to her own +room and paced it like a wild animal in a cage. Never could she have +believed that the passion of an earthly love could have shaken the +very foundation of her creed. And in the depths of her heart was the +ceaseless voice: "You are sinning wilfully. You are harbouring and +encouraging unbelief and rebellion!" + +She saw her Bible on her dressing-table. She had not opened it since +her marriage. And then, almost mechanically, she sat down, and, turning +over its pages, began reading the Gospels. She read, without taking it +in, and then suddenly one single sentence before her seemed to stand +out above all the other: + + "Is it not lawful for Me to do what I will with Mine own?" + +It came as the direct voice of God, and pierced the crust of bitter +rebellion and unbelief. + +She sank down on her knees and burst into a passion of tears. + +The voice of tender, loving, pitying rebuke again repeated in her soul: + + "Is it not lawful for Me to do what I will with Mine own?" + +She felt much as she imagined Peter must have done when his Master +turned and looked at him. + + "Yes, Lord," she said brokenly. "It is Thy right; he is Thine own to +kill, to make alive; he is Thine, and I am Thine, and Thou hast the +right to do what Thou wilt. Oh, do it! Do it! I am Thine. I would not +take myself away from Thee. I thank Thee for this word. Who am I that +I dare to question Thy right over us both? Oh, forgive me, forgive me! +Cast the devil out. Lancelot is Thine own. I am Thine own. Thou hast +Thy plans for us both. I will not pray for his life. I will not ask +Thee to alter Thy plans. Take me back to Thyself. Do Thou help and +comfort us. Thou hast him in Thine eternal arms. I leave him there." + +An hour passed before she came out of her room, and then she met Mrs. +Dane in the narrow passage. Such light and peace were upon her face +that her mother-in-law almost started. The change was marvellous. + +"Yes," she said. "It is wonderful—God's mercy and love—but I am +forgiven, and I am resigned." + +She passed in to sit with her husband, and though her face was white +and worn with the conflict that had been raging within her, in her eyes +was the "peace that passes understanding." + +Very quiet she was, and very silent even to Mrs. Dane. + +"I feel," she said to her once, "that I am waiting for death." + +The days slowly went by, but there was no change in Lancelot's +condition. + +"He may slip away from us any moment," said the doctor. "I do not think +he will recover consciousness." + +Hope sat and waited. She could repeat to herself now the lines of her +hymn: + + "'Peace, perfect peace, death shadowing us and ours? + Jesus has vanquish'd death and all its powers.'" + +And sitting in the Shadow of the Borderland, she seemed to get strange +and glorious glimpses of the life beyond. + +Mrs. Dane looked after her physical wants, and took it in turn to watch +with her. If Hope had been by herself, she would have been oblivious of +food and rest. When once she said something a little impatiently about +her own health being a matter of indifference to her, Mrs. Dane said: + +"Dear Hope, however much you may want to follow him, you must not try +to do so. For his sake, his property, his household will need your +attention and care. You will be his representative, and you must look +upon his possessions as a trust from him." + +Which view of the case gave Hope much food for thought. She herself +marvelled at Mrs. Dane's calmness and fortitude. The elder woman had +learnt life's lesson in a way that the younger one had not, and Mrs. +Dane was a selfless woman. She loved her eldest son passionately; his +very nature appealed to her in a way that neither of his brothers' +did. But she had gladly and willingly given him up to the girl whom he +loved, quietly taking the second place in his thoughts and affections, +and now she was as ready to give him up to the Master who loved him, +and was calling him. + + +At last, one morning, Hope spoke straightforwardly to the doctor. + +"Why does my husband linger so long, if he cannot get better? He takes +nourishment. Have you no hope that he may yet pull through?" + +"I am just beginning to hope," was the answer. + +Then, as a flood of colour swept up into Hope's white cheeks, the +doctor put out his hand as if to stop any premature rejoicing. + +"I think we must have another opinion," he said. "I can be quite frank +with you, Mrs. Dane. Life will not necessarily mean health. I fear +paralysis of the brain." + +Hope's heart sank very low again. Could she wish her husband a living +death? She could not. + +A physician came down from London, and after a long consultation, Hope +was called into the room to hear the result. + +"We think that he might possibly be roused. Will you try to do this? +If he will respond to any one, it will be to you. Can you make the +attempt?" + +So with a beating heart Hope went back to her husband's bedside, and +bending over the unconscious form, she called in a clear steady voice +close to his ear: + +"Lancelot! Lancelot, darling, I want you." + +There was no movement. The doctors and nurse watched anxiously. Mrs. +Dane in the background also watched and prayed. + +"Put your heart into it," whispered the doctor. "Remind yourself that +this is his last chance. Make him hear you!" + +Hope did not need this stimulant. Her whole soul rose into her agonised +cry. + +"Lancelot, it is Hope who wants you. Come to me—help me—help!" + +There was a slight quiver of the still eyelashes, a slight motion of +his head. The word "help" seemed to have reached him at last. + +She put her mouth close to his ear, and the intense yearning in her cry +brought a moisture into the old physician's eyes. + +"Lancelot, my husband, come to your wife! Help me, I want you. Help!" + +His eyelids flickered, and then in the smallest weakest voice possible +these words were clearly heard. + +"I am—trying—to—come." + +"Then look up! I am here, darling. Hope is here; look at me—look!" + +The soul that seemed so far away, in that mysterious border region +between life and death, had returned to the world. Lancelot opened his +eyes, and as they fell on Hope's sweet eager face so close to his, +there was recognition in his glance. + +"Hope—my darling—kiss me." + +Hope put her lips to his. + +The tense moment had passed. The doctors seemed to draw breath. + +"Give him stimulant, nurse, at once." + +The physician spoke, and in a few moments the sick man murmured: + +"I am afraid I am ill, Hope; can you tell me?" + +"I will tell you everything soon, dear. You have been very ill, and now +you're getting better." + +Hope's eyes were full of happy tears. The doctors left the room. + +"Let him sleep now. His brain is uninjured. He will pull round." + +And then, leaving her husband in a quiet peaceful sleep, Hope flung +herself into Mrs. Dane's motherly arms. + +"Oh, mother—let me call you so! How good you have been to me, and oh, +how good of God! After all my unbelief and rebellion! Can we—will you +thank Him for me?" + +Together they knelt in prayer, and Hope's face, when she rose from her +knees, was a study in rapt contentment and delight, but her bright +brown hair was streaked with grey. + + + +Chapter XXVI + +A YORKSHIRE HOME + +IT was an exquisite summer afternoon. Brunsworthy Hall lay bathed +in the still golden sunshine. It was a substantial old brown stone +building, with creeper-clad walls. In front of the principal entrance +was a sloping green lawn, a group of beech-trees at the farther +end cast some welcome shade upon it; old-fashioned flowering beds +bordered the lawn on one side, the other was flanked by a rhododendron +shrubbery. In the distance, between a broken line of pines and larches, +stretched a wide heather and bracken-covered moor. Further still, blue +hills bordered the horizon, and this was the scene that Hope, shading +her eyes with her hand, looked out upon, as she stood at the open door. +Behind her was a cool, fragrant, oak-wainscoted hall. Roses in bowls +seemed to predominate over everything else. + +Hope, in her white dress, looked singularly sweet and girlish. But +she had gained in grace and dignity during these last few months as +mistress of Brunsworthy Hall. For three months she had divided her +time between managing her husband's property, and nursing him back to +convalescence. + +Mrs. Dane had helped much in the latter occupation, but Hope had come +alone to Brunsworthy to interview agents, look into farm accounts, +and order the household generally. She had been much helped by +her husband's lawyer, who lived close by, and Mrs. Stern, the old +housekeeper, who had lived at The Hall for the previous twenty years. +Now she was expecting the arrival of her husband. She had been into +his room many times that day. She had filled it with flowers, she had +arranged cushions and couches with a view to rest his tired limbs, she +had chosen books and papers that would entertain and amuse him, and now +she stood waiting for the carriage that was to bring him to her. + +[Illustration: HOPE RAN DOWN TO MEET THEM.] + +When it eventually appeared, and her husband with his mother came up +the broad steps, she ran down to meet them. + +Lancelot's eyes were twinkling with some of his old humour, though his +smile was a little sad, as he said: + +"The irony of fate, that the wife should be receiving the husband, and +welcoming him to his home." + +"Ah," she said, linking her arm in his, and so entering the house with +him, "but think what it might have been!" + +The servants were gathered in the hall to welcome their master, and he +said a few words to them before he mounted the old oak stairs. + +When he saw his wife's arrangements for his comfort, he turned to her +again. + +"I was wondering whether I was not the woman, and you the man a few +moments ago; now I see that no man could have produced a room like +this!" + +"Do you like it?" + +Hope's eyes were anxious. Her husband simply took her in his arms and +kissed her. + +"My darling little wife, you have a fairy's touch. Everything you have +done is absolutely perfect." + +Hope put her arms round her husband's neck, and laid her head on his +breast. Her eyes were fast filling with tears. + +"Oh, how I have longed for you! I can hardly believe you are here at +last! You must get well and strong. Are you very tired?" + +"I feel a Hercules." + +He did not look it, but his figure had something of its old alertness +and uprightness, his voice the old keen ring in it; and though his face +was worn and hollow-cheeked, there was vigour and energy in every line +of it. + +His hand caressed Hope's hair. + +"This is a happy day for both of us," he said softly. + +"They married, and lived happily ever after," said Hope, laughter +taking the place of tears. "We have had a break between those two +statements, but it will make the happiness all the sweeter now." + +Then she thought of her mother-in-law, and leaving her husband, went to +see if she was comfortable. + +Later that day, after dinner was over, and the garden lay in the +evening shadows, the three of them walked round the garden paths. + +Mrs. Dane was going back to London the next day. + +"This must be your honeymoon," she said. "I am not going to spoil it." + +And no amount of persuasion would induce her to stay. + +As they walked and talked, Hope began to give an account to her husband +of all the business she had tried to perform for him. + +"I have told the 'pro tem.' bailiff to come up to-morrow morning for +you to see him. I hope you will like him. We had three applications, +and Mr. Judd helped me in the choice. And, Lancelot, I have been round +with Mr. Judd to every farm on the estate. I know where repairs are +needed, and who are the best farmers. I feel so full of information +about your property that I shall be rather glad to air my knowledge. + +"The only thing that I do not quite understand is Yorkshire manners. +I have always heard that the lower classes are very independent, and +in all my rounds I only got one nice welcome, and that was from an old +woman who had been cook here many years ago. Now I come to think of it, +she was a Somersetshire woman. She showed me her dairy, which was a +picture of neatness and cleanliness; she said it was an honour to show +it to me, and that I had the look of a lady who could 'put her hand to +things without a thought of soiling her fingers.' I nearly told her +what I could do in the way of house-work, only little Mr. Judd looked +so important and dignified by my side that I was afraid of shocking +him. Then she mentioned your mother, and when I found out that she had +known you here many years ago, I could have talked all day." + +"That must be Ann Sockett," said Mrs. Dane thoughtfully. "She married +one of the farmers here, I remember." + +"She is Mrs. Talbot now." + +"I wonder how soon I shall be able to look into things myself," +said Lancelot. "I suppose I must let this man—what is his name, +Hope?—Mathews?—I suppose he must have a chance first." + +"Yes," said Hope decidedly. "The doctor said you must have a very easy +life for the next two months, and then you would be quite yourself +again. Mr. Mathews will take all the business part from you. You and +I are going to enjoy ourselves in a selfish fashion for two whole +months. Then you can be engrossed in your farms and fields and coverts. +I shall be engrossed in my housekeeping, and garden, and perhaps my +poultry-yard. But for the present we are going to be engrossed with +each other." + +"I am sure," he said, "you deserve a rest and holiday if any one does, +and I shall see that you get it." + +Mrs. Dane had wandered away from them. This old house and garden were +full of memories to her—some happy ones, some sad. She had spent all +her young married life in it, had buried the one she loved best in the +little churchyard a few miles away, and there was not a corner or spot +that she did not know and love. + +Hope took her husband indoors soon, fearing he would be fatigued, and +then, wrapping a shawl round her, she went out again to look for her +mother-in-law. + +She found her on the stone terrace on the west side of the house. It +was a spot which overlooked most of the country round. First there +was the old walled kitchen garden below, then beyond it the small +village, a stretch of grass meadows, then almost on the horizon a +little turreted church standing on the edge of the heather moor. It was +towards this that Mrs. Dane was looking. She was resting her arms on +the stone balustrade, and it was not till Hope gently touched her that +she was aware of her presence. + +Were there tears in her eyes as she looked round? Hope almost thought +so. + +"Am I disturbing you?" she asked, with a little hesitation. + +Mrs. Dane put her arm round her, and drew her to herself. + +"Dear child, you must not think of me. Is Lancelot very tired?" + +"He says not. Oh, mother, I wish you were not leaving us. Since I have +been here by myself and heard the people talk about you, I feel that +you ought to be here and not I. Was it not a great trial leaving it +when you did?" + +"Yes, it was. But I had my boys to think of. I wanted to give them a +good education, and I wanted to keep in touch with them. Also I was +hard pressed for money at the time of my dear husband's death, so I was +advised to let the place." + +"But you always hoped to come back one day?" + +Mrs. Dane did not answer. + +Hope clasped her hands caressingly round her arm. + +"My happiness makes your disappointment, mother. Oh, why did you let me +meet Lancelot? And why won't you live with us altogether, and let me +take the place of a daughter?" + +Mrs. Dane smiled. + +"Don't you think it is a happiness for me to feel that I have a +daughter-in-law who will always give me a warm welcome here? I have +been picturing your life here in the future, dear. And I hope that, +as years go on, you will find that the same God who brought you +together, will bless you increasingly. Married life brings cares and +responsibilities, but it also brings much happiness. And I can safely +say that I believe Lancelot will never disappoint you. I know what he +has been as a son. I know what he will be as a husband." + +Hope did not answer. She looked dreamily away to the little church in +the distance. At last she said slowly: + +"And perhaps one day I shall stand where you do, and feel that all my +hopes are in that churchyard. Then I wonder if I shall be able to live +my life as nobly and sweetly as you do. I wonder if I shall ever have +as big a heart of sympathy and love, as firm and unclouded a faith—" + +"Hush, hush!" + +Mrs. Dane was shaking her head most disapprovingly. + +"I hope you will be a far better woman than I ever shall be. Now, don't +you think it is time we were returning to the house?" + +"Ah, well," said Hope, as she took her mother-in-law's hint, and walked +back with her into the drawing-room. "I shall never be able to say that +I was without an example of what a wife and mother should be!" + +Nothing would induce Mrs. Dane to prolong her stay. She was determined +that the young couple should be left alone, and she departed the next +day, promising to pay them a visit in the autumn before the winter set +in. + +Hope always looked back to those summer months as a time of exquisite +rest and delight. + +She had much to do. It was not an idle life. There were a great +many necessary alterations and repairs in the house itself, for the +furniture was old and shabby, and wanted considerable renewing; and +there was a good bit of outdoor and estate business with which Hope +helped her husband. But the very contact with a keen vigorous intellect +like Lancelot's, the sense of his love and care in every detail of her +life, was both soothing and invigorating. And she loved the country +around her. The moor fascinated her; she would go up to it in the cool +of the evening, and baring her head, would inhale long breaths of the +fresh, sweet, heather-scented air. Wandering knee-deep in the bracken, +she would gather armfuls of the heather and ferns, and come home laden +with spoils, astonishing the servants, who could not understand the +pleasure of seeing "rubbish" preferred to the choice flowers produced +by the garden and hothouses. + +Lancelot smiled and understood. + +"Ah!" he said to her one day. "Wait till I get a little stronger, and +we can ride over the moors together!" + +"Perhaps it's as well we don't get all our pleasures at once," said +Hope. "We have so many things to look forward to, have we not? But I +am not a very accomplished horsewoman. I have had so little chance of +riding. My aunt never encouraged it, though I had riding-lessons at +school." + +"You will soon pick it up again." + +One day Hope received a letter from Kitty Parr, giving her the sad news +of her father's sudden death from heart failure. Kitty wrote in great +trouble. + + "How I long that you were here! I have no one to help in things. Avice +seems quite stunned, and she is no good at business, as you know! We +have just been talking to father's lawyer. We shall have to sell most +of our things and get out of this old Rectory as fast as we can. I +don't mind much for myself, but I'm awfully sorry for Avice. She has +no 'Brian'! I'm up to my eyes with bothers, getting father's accounts +right, writing letters (Avice answers all the condoling ones), and +roaring with crying at intervals. Death is so awful! And father was +such a dear. But I get quite bewildered over our future. Brian won't be +ready for me for ages yet, and I think Avice and I will have only £100 +between us yearly. Is that worse or better than you were? We mean to go +into lodgings at Kayminster. That is the nearest town, and every night +I frantically count up my accomplishments, and wonder how I am to earn +money. I mean to do something, and no one shall prevent me. + + "Of course a country life suits me best, but Avice will go to a town, +and I must keep with her. I think I shall turn into a shop-girl or +servant if I can do nothing else. But I would love to be a farm +labourer! I went down to Miss Rill—Mrs. Manners, I mean—and talked to +her about myself. + + "She said, 'My dear, don't go to London. It isn't the place for poor +people.' + + "Then I asked her if I opened a dairy in Kayminster whether she could +provide me with the stuff to sell. (You know they keep two cows +now.) But she didn't rise to it. I believe she doubted my business +capacity. Oh, Hope, dear, I want you badly! Do you think I could get +something to do if I went to Canada? Then Avice could have the £100 +all to herself and be quite comfortable. I never thought we should be +quite so badly off. I do think clergy might have pensions for their +widows. Father worked hard for fifty years and at the end of it left us +almost penniless. I tell Avice that the organisation of the Church of +England leaves a lot to be desired. She of course disagrees. If only +some nice rector would come forward and marry her. She'll never be any +good in the world except as a clergyman's wife, and I rather pity her +household! You see my pen is running away as fast as my tongue does! +But I'm writing to take the ache and misery away. I am absolutely +miserable, Hope—do comfort me. + + "Your loving + + "Kitty." + +Hope took counsel with her husband over this letter. + +"Why not ask her up here a little later? Would you not like to have +her?" + +"Very much. But what about Avice? I honestly don't like her, Lancelot, +though she is so good. She is so lofty and superior in her manner, that +she rubs me the wrong way!" + +"This trouble may soften her." + +"I am sorry—very sorry—for both of them. And I think Kitty will adapt +herself better to her new surroundings than Avice. I think Avice has +always run in a very narrow groove. I expect she will feel quite lost +without a parish." + +"I should let them settle down somewhere together before I asked Kitty +up here." + +"I dare say you are right. Poor little Kitty! I will write to her at +once. She was her father's right hand." + +So Hope wrote a very loving sympathetic letter to Kitty, and by the +same post wrote out to Brian, asking him if there was any chance of +his being able to marry at the end of the year, or whether there was +any opening for Kitty out there as a mother's help or companion to any +young married woman. + + "She is so happy in the country," wrote Hope, "and has so many +faculties for a farm life, that it seems waste of good material for her +to drift into a town, and do nothing." + +And after she had written her letter, she went into her husband's study +to talk to him. + +"I feel that Kitty is a repetition of myself, and the position is such +a dreadful one. If you had not married me, Lancelot, what would have +become of me? The want of money is a great trial to a girl who has not +been brought up to earn her own living!" + +Lancelot would not allow this. + +"There are plenty of men in the world to look after them. Personally, I +hate a moneyed woman. She is so supremely selfish." + +Hope laughed merrily. + +"And what about men?" + +"I dare say they are not much better. Superabundance of wealth seldom +improves a fellow-creature." + +"But it is no good for you to say in a grand masculine tone that there +are plenty of men to look after helpless penniless girls. That is just +what there is not. Every one knows that women outnumber the men, and +they are quick at recognising this themselves, and are fast learning to +be independent. I think you old-fashioned men who make such an outcry +against the modern women don't realise that they are the natural result +of the modern life. And you must admit that the modern young man does +not rush into marriage as his ancestors did. They weigh the pros and +cons much more carefully." + +"Yes, I think the modern youngster quite as odious as the hoyden girl. +I hope that little Kitty is not rushing into wedded life too soon." + +"You don't like Brian. You never did." + +"I can't say he was an attractive character. He did not look after you +as he should have done." + +"Oh, Lancelot, what a foolish old thing you are!" + +And then the conversation ended, as it often did, by lover-like +demonstrations between husband and wife. + + + +Chapter XXVII + +VISITORS + +IT was not till the autumn came that Kitty and Avice came together to +pay Hope a visit. + +She met them at the station herself, and was struck by the change in +both of them. Kitty had lost her childish look; she was slighter in +figure and taller, was as impetuous and eager as ever, but not so +thoughtless in her speech, and seemed to have learnt self-control. +Avice, from being a fresh complacent-looking girl, had become a +nervous fretful invalid, full of her own aches and pains and sensitive +feelings. Hope was quite shocked to see her. + +She talked cheerfully to them both, took them to their comfortable +bedrooms, and then as usual poured out her disappointment into her +husband's ears. + +"I must tell you a private little idea of my own," she said to him. +"You know how difficult I find it to visit as much as I should like +amongst our villagers here. I thought that perhaps when Kitty goes +out to Canada, Avice could come here and be a kind of district nurse +and visitor. If she liked to be independent, she could lodge in the +village. It is what she loved doing—visiting the poor, and having +classes and meetings for them. Our Rector would be only too delighted. +But now I have seen Avice, my castle has tumbled to the ground. She +seems quite crushed by her father's death, as if she has no spirit +left, and such a discontented whining voice! I am quite astonished at +the change in her." + +"Don't be hard on the girl. It's just the sudden cessation, I expect, +of all interest in others that has brought about a reaction." + +"Yes, perhaps you are right. She has lost more by her father's death +than Kitty has." + +At dinner that night Kitty chattered away in her old style; but though +Lancelot did his very best to entertain and interest Avice, he could +hardly win a word from her. He had to attend a village meeting that +evening, so Hope was left with the two girls. Conversation became very +heavy in the drawing-room. Avice seemed to be a dead weight upon the +atmosphere. At last she said she would like to go to bed, and it was +with a sense of relief that Hope accompanied her upstairs. When she was +in her bedroom with her, she stooped down and kissed her. + +"Good-night, Avice," she said tenderly. "I can't tell you how I feel +for you. I have gone through the same trouble myself so recently, that +I know a little of the blank that there must be in your life." + +"Thank you," was the uncivil reply. "Everybody tells me the same, but I +don't know that it alters my feelings much to be told that my loss is +one common to all." + +For one moment Hope felt quite vexed, then she replied: + +"No, it does not alter the fact of your grief, of course. You must tell +me, when you are more at home with me, what your plans are for the +future. I hope you will sleep well. Good-night." + +She would have been astonished could she have seen Avice, when the door +was closed, fling herself upon her bed in a tempest of sobs. + +"I wish I had never come. I never cared for her. She was always so +uninteresting, and now she seems to glory in her position here, and +gloats over my misfortunes. I know she never liked me. I hate her pity +and patronage. Oh, I wish I were dead! I have nothing to live for. +Everything has been taken from me. No one understands me, and no one +cares what becomes of me!" + +Poor Avice was going through a very bitter experience. From being the +centre of a circle of admiring and devoted people, she was suddenly +displaced from her pedestal, and became a mere unit, and a very +insignificant one, in Kayminster. + +[Illustration: "YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE FOR THE FUTURE."] + +She had never cared for making friends with her equals. She had always +posed as a saintly benefactor to her inferiors, and their homage was +her chief delight in life. Now that was swept away from her, she felt +like a rudderless boat; she had no goal in life, no purpose, no hope. +Her work had come first and not her God. Hope would have pitied her +much more if she had known the real misery of soul that was hers. + +When she reached the drawing-room again, she found that Kitty had drawn +up two low chairs to the wood-fire, and was anxiously waiting for her +appearance. + +"Why, Kitty, aren't you thinking of going to bed, too?" + +"Indeed I'm not! I'm simply thirsting to have you to myself! Now come +and sit here, and let me pour out, or I shall explode! I'm so thankful +your thoughtful husband has taken himself of to-night. It is too good +an opportunity to lose. Oh, Hope, what a darling you are! First let me +give you a hug, if I dare. You're so regal in your satin gown. I've +never seen you in evening-dress before. You look so queenly! Doesn't +Mr. Dane sometimes long to give you a good squeeze when you look so +lovely? I do!" + +Hope laughed merrily as she submitted herself to one of Kitty's "hugs." + +Then the girl seated herself beside her, and began her confidence in +eager excitement. + +"I've heard from Brian that he is building a house in his spare time. +He has a grant of land of his own, and he is going to work at this +house all the winter. Then in the spring—next spring—I'm to go out to +him, and I've been sending him plans for all the rooms. We shall have +to work awfully hard, he says, but I shall love it. I wriggle with +delight when I think of it! Now that's my tit-bit of news, the bit +that keeps my spirits up. And I'm collecting—oh, you'll laugh, but +I know what it takes to stock a kitchen—I'm collecting with any odd +pence that I can save, such a medley of articles, which I keep in what +I call my kist. A tin toasting-fork, a cake-tin, a pepper-box, a tin +spoon, an egg-whisk—all a penny each. Then I have bits of flannel and +odd dusters—you've no idea what a lot you can get with a few coppers. +Avice looks on and laughs at me—metaphorically, I mean—I wish she did +in truth, for she's so depressingly dismal that I don't know what to do +with her. + +"Oh, Hope, you have no idea what our life is like in lodgings! Avice +hardly ever speaks to me. She sits and mopes. I made her come to +the cathedral services once or twice, but she says it makes her too +miserable to go there. I wonder if it would have been better to have +stayed on in our village in lodgings; but the fact was, that we heard +almost directly who was going to have the living. The Vicar of Nutton, +about ten miles off, was offered it, and his wife is one of the most +energetic and managing of women! Avice never liked her, when she used +to meet her at the clerical meeting, because she always tried to give +her good advice, and we both felt we had better be gone before she +arrived. And if you don't breathe a word, I believe a certain curate +has made Avice very unhappy. He was always consulting with her and kind +of carrying on—you know the style, paying her great attention, &c.—and +now since father's death, he hasn't come near us, or sent her one line. +I believe she was really fond of him, but he can't afford to marry. +Anyhow, he's behaved like a brute, and I hate him!" + +Kitty paused for breath. + +"I wish," said Hope wistfully, "that I could get at your sister's +heart. I feel so dreadfully sorry for her." + +"She hasn't a little idea about money," went on Kitty. "She thinks we +ought to be just as comfortable in lodgings as we were at home, and is +quite cross with me because I won't let her buy chickens for dinner at +three shillings each! I asked her if she would like to be a kind of +deaconess, or join a sisterhood. I thought that would just suit her, +but do you know, she hates women of her own class, and said she would +be miserable with a lot of old maids! She made me laugh, I couldn't +help it; and then, of course, she gets cross. She thinks I'm as hard +as stone, because I get up a laugh now and then; but I'm sure it would +be a black world if everybody who lost a relative never laughed again! +Besides, I tell her that laughing keeps you in health, some doctor told +me that once; and if you're poor, the great thing is to keep well, for +doctors and drugs are so expensive!" + +So Kitty talked away, sometimes showing real earnestness of feeling, +sometimes as nonsensical as a child. When she went to bed at last, she +gave Hope another squeeze. + +"There's no one like you in all the world, I know there isn't! And if I +had only been a man, I would have walked in and snapped you up in front +of Mr. Dane's nose. Is he really as good as he ought to be to you? I +shall watch him very closely, and if he isn't, I shall let him know it!" + +Before many days were over, Kitty was like one of the house. She knew +every human being and every animal for a couple of miles round, and +was on friendly terms with them all. Her fresh young voice, and cheery +whistle and laugh, was heard the first thing in the morning and the +last at night. She was delighted when Lancelot gave her a quiet cob to +ride, and in spite of very little previous experience, tenaciously kept +her seat in various experiments, which filled Hope with fears for her +safety. + +When she remonstrated with her for attempting to leap a gate, Kitty +retorted: + +"My dear Hope, a colonist's wife must know how to jump anything! I'm +training myself for the future, and I want to swim a river with him, +if your husband will let me. You see, I want to be an all round sort +of wife to Brian. I know you won't be shocked, but I'm going to take a +lesson to-morrow in felling trees. Your woodman is going to show me. +They're cutting down trees in your big wood. Dan Murphy is an Irishman, +and his wife's name is Kitty, so he's the greatest friends with me. He +says Yorkshire breeds the stoniest lot of men and women in the world, +but they're real good sort if they take a fancy to you! His wife is +a Yorkshire girl, so of course he knows. He has got a small axe that +he says will just suit me, but I mean to have a try with a big one. +I've plenty of muscle—always had! I want to be able to take a hand +in anything with Brian. We're not going to be a pair in tandem, but +abreast in everything!" + +Whilst Kitty was thoroughly enjoying herself, Hope tried hard to win +Avice's confidence. She drove her out. She sat under the trees upon the +lawn, and read and worked with her. She took her to visit some of the +cottagers in the village, and did all she could to awaken her interest +in things around her. But it was all in vain. Avice responded civilly +but listlessly to all that was said, and relapsed into gloomy thought +when left alone. She announced one morning that their visit must come +to an end; and though Hope would have liked to keep them longer for +Kitty's sake, she did not like to press them to stay, when she saw that +Avice was not happy with her. + +Lancelot suggested that Avice should go, but that Kitty should stay on. +He genuinely liked the latter, and told his wife that they had better +offer her a home till she was married. But Kitty herself would not hear +of this. + +"I am bound to stay with Avice. She can't get on alone. I don't know +how it is, but she seems to have lost her backbone." + + +The last evening of their stay, Hope went to Avice's room after she +had retired for the night. She sat down and talked about Kitty and the +future, and was glad to find that Avice was more responsive than usual. +She was just on the point of leaving her, when the girl turned abruptly +to her. + +"You have been very kind to us," she said, with a little choke in her +voice. "I should like to thank you. I feel this is a judgment upon me +for never trying to do anything for you, when you lived near us. I have +been brought myself to poverty and—and I know how bitter it is, perhaps +even more than you did! You must have always realised that it would be +only for a time until you married, and of course that is what comforts +Kitty. For me—" + +She stopped, then astounded Hope by bursting into tears. + +In a moment, warm-hearted Hope had thrown her arms round her, and was +almost crying in sympathy. + +"Oh," sobbed Avice, "everything has gone from me. Home, father, and +work; every one I know and care for, all swept away! What is the good +of living! I wish I were dead!" + +Hope did not reprove her for this outburst; she was delighted that the +icy reserve had melted at last. + +"You feel exactly as I did when I thought my husband was dead. Oh, +Avice, I was so wretched and so wickedly rebellious; I do know, indeed, +how you feel. But I don't believe God will leave you like this. He will +send you comfort. It is just a very dark rough bit of road, and it is +going to lead you out into brighter sunshine than you had before! God +is testing you as He tested me. I failed miserably, but you must not. +Look up, and take courage, and believe that God is leading you on to +better things. I know He is." + +Hope's voice rang with such confident assurance that Avice's sobs +ceased. + +"Ah," she said, hiding her face in her hands, "I don't love or believe +in God, as I should. That is the trouble. I have been a hypocrite all +my life, and have only just found it out. I always taught others beyond +my own experience, and preached lessons of resignation and submission +to them when I had never learnt them myself. I feel God has cast me off +in disgust, and will have nothing more to do with me." + +Kitty impatiently waited for Hope to come and wish her good-night. But +she waited a good hour before Hope appeared. + +When she stooped over her in bed, her eyes were full of tears. + +"Why, Hope, what's the matter? You're looking so happy, and yet you're +crying! What has happened? Tell me!" + +"I can't tell you all, Kitty. It would not be right. I have been having +a long talk with Avice. Poor girl, she has opened her heart to me at +last. And, Kitty, I'm not going to let you go to-morrow. We'll wire +to your landlady. I've been making plans in my head. If you live in +lodgings, why should you not both live near me? I know a delightful +farm close by, where the good woman would make you both thoroughly +comfortable, and do you much cheaper than any landlady in Kayminster. +Then Avice could help me in the village. I want to start a mothers' +meeting, and a band of hope, and coal and clothing-clubs. She could +teach me all this, and I should profit by her experience, and we should +be all working together." + +"Oh," said Kitty, sitting up and thumping her pillow in excitement, +"how delicious it sounds! But first, Avice will never agree; and then I +must be earning my own living." + +"Go to sleep. I mean to carry my plan out. It's all nonsense about your +earning your own living. You and Avice can live in this way for next to +nothing." + +She would not discuss the matter further with Kitty then, and she never +told her what had passed between herself and Avice; but the next day +the telegram was sent, and Avice herself, with a smile upon her lips, +went to the farm which Hope had mentioned, and made arrangements for +herself and Kitty to board there. + +"Hope, you're a marvel!" Kitty exclaimed. "You have bewitched Avice. +She is not herself at all. I'm quite frightened at the sudden change in +her. I hope she isn't going to die!" + +"You see," she further explained to Lancelot, when he and she happened +to be alone in the library that afternoon, "I ought not to be so +astonished, for Hope is what I call a very contagious person; but Avice +always seemed proof against her, and now she has simply been knocked +down flat by Hope's wiles, straightened out, and built up again on +totally different lines. Fancy Avice saying to me, as she did this +morning,— + +"'Oh, Kitty, I've been all wrong all my life; I wonder if I can begin +over again!' + +"And this from the pink of perfection, the 'angel' of the village! +You know, Mr. Dane, when first I saw Hope, I knew she was born to +fascinate. There was something in her eyes when she looked at you, and +I suppose some people are just like the sun—they can't help warming you +through, whether you like it or not. Brian told me Hope's face, when +he came into his tea tired out, was better than a tonic, and if Avice +hadn't purposely kept out of her way at King's Dell, she would have +been different long ago!" + +"You credit Hope with a great deal," said Lancelot, with mirthful eyes. +"Go on; tell me more of her wiles." + +"Of course, you are as pleased as punch with my discernment," said +Kitty audaciously. "Hope is bound to do people good all along the line, +because she is so happy. Why, that old Squire Spencer, as they call +him, is waking up to take interest in his property at last! Of course, +people say it is his sister's doing, but he would never have had her to +live with him if it hadn't been for Hope. He told me so when I went to +wish him goodbye. He said,— + +"'That Hope St. Clair is making a great mistake by marrying that Indian +fellow. She had missed an opportunity of being a wealthy woman.' + +"'Ah,' I said, 'she doesn't believe in money much.' + +"'I know she does not,' and he spoke quite sadly. 'Well, we shall see +one day if she is right or not. Anyhow, I believe in her enough to +follow some of her advice, else I would never have got rid of those +Hadleys and invited my sister down.'" + +Kitty paused, for Hope had entered the room. + +"We're talking about you. I'm just telling Mr. Dane how you take people +in hand. The Manners consider all their happiness due to you!" + +"Oh, Kitty, don't be so foolish," Hope shut her up promptly. + +But Kitty said in a loud aside to Lancelot: + +"You wait till she leaves us together again, and I'll tell you a few +things about her. Things that Brian had told me, and he ought to know +the truth about her if any one does." + + + +Chapter XXVIII + +A CONFESSION + +AVICE and Kitty were soon comfortably settled in the farm, and Avice +was fast regaining her health and spirits. But, as Kitty said, there +was a change in her. She was gentler, more diffident of herself, and +wholly devoted to Hope. She threw herself into the village interests +with all her heart, and soon proved a welcome visitor to those she +went to see. Avice was at her very best with the poor. Her gentle +consideration, great tact, and ready sympathy, made her a general +favourite. She confided to Hope that she could never have believed that +she could feel so happy again as she did now. + +"It is not that I don't miss dear father. I am always conscious of the +blank, but there are so many others even in this country village who +have worse troubles than I have, and I do enjoy my work amongst them. +Only, Hope, will you pray for me? I don't want to put my work first +before God. I hope I have learnt my lesson. But I feel it will always +be a snare to me." + +Autumn went, and the cold North-country winter set in. Mrs. Dane came +to spend Christmas, and in the New Year, Hope went back with her for a +short stay in London. Mrs. Dane had taken a flat there for the winter, +and her youngest son was living with her. + +In town, Hope saw many of her old friends again. She smiled as she +realised how many of them were anxious to renew their acquaintance with +her. Minnie Chesney—now Mrs. Aubyn—begged her to come and stay with her +in her town house in Park Lane. + +"I always liked you, Hope, and I am very much alone. My husband owns +a racing-stable, and you know how that engrosses a man! Of course I +have plenty of visitors always coming and going, but they're not the +same as old friends. You can't think how delighted I was to hear of +your marriage! That was an awful poky little hole in which you buried +yourself away after your aunt's death. I was thankful when you were +out of it. How is that queer step-brother of yours—the one who tried +to farm? Oh, he is abroad again? What a relief for you! I always think +those kind of young men are so much better in the colonies. It makes it +so uncomfortable for their friends when they come home. And now tell +me about your Yorkshire home and your good husband. I hear Brunsworthy +Hall is a delightful old place. Some one was talking of it the other +day. Is Mr. Dane all right after his accident? I hope it didn't affect +his head in any way. We were so sorry for you, when we heard of it. +You really seemed one of those unfortunate people who have one trouble +after another all their life. I think you've done so wisely in leaving +Mr. Dane at home and coming up to town alone; men are such a nuisance +hanging round with nothing to do, and making rows if any other man +dares to have a word to say to you! And those kind of men who are keen +on their country places are much better left there, I say. They never +seem to want a change, as we poor wives do!" + +Hope listened to her, and tried to respond in a friendly manner. She +asked after Hester. + +"Oh, she is abroad with mother. They have gone to the Riviera. Poor old +Hester! She would rather be back amongst her bees and flowers any day. +But she's a real good sort—is determined to do her duty, and mother +bullies her accordingly. She'll never be a social success now; she has +had her day, and it's a shame to trot her out so." + +Hope gave a sigh of relief when Minnie Aubyn took her departure. + +The one visit she did enjoy was that of Lady May, who promised she +would shortly pay her a visit in Yorkshire. + +"I have such a lot to tell you," she said to her. "It seems such ages +since we met, and I long for one of our old talks." + +"And so do I, May. I have often thought of you." + +"I am really happy at home; not doing anything great, you know, as I +used to wish I could, but just the little every-day things as they +come, and taking opportunities as they're given me. I have some nice +things to tell you, and several girls I met abroad are my greatest +friends now." + +"I shall hear all about it when you come to stay with me," responded +Hope, "and I hope that day will be soon." + +Jim Horrocks of course came to see Hope, and amused Mrs. Dane with his +frank speech and brotherly solicitude for her daughter-in-law. + +"There isn't a bit of harm in me," he assured her. "I'm not one +of those who make hash of a married woman's life. I really take a +brotherly interest in Hope, and I'm as safe as—as you are! All I +want is that your son should duly appreciate her, for he's a lucky +man and ought to know it! And I'm not going to give up a life +friendship because she's married. He'll have to include me in his +shooting-parties, and he'll soon see whether he'll keep me on his guest +list. Hope will, I know. She never could forget me! And really, you +know, Mrs. Dane, if any soul on earth could make me into a religious +man, Hope could! I believe in her religion. I knew her before she got +it, and I've known her ever since, and she has had some stiff reverses, +but she's been as sure and steady as a rock all through, and as happy +as a sand-boy! That's the kind of religion a man admires, not a go to +church at six o'clock in the morning after a carousal all night, and a +long face one part of the season and a short face the other. For steady +consistence and real grit, give me Hope, and I wish I was like her!" + +But much as Hope enjoyed seeing many of her friends, her heart was with +her home and husband, and she counted each day to her return. When she +eventually turned her face northwards, she resolved that the next visit +to town should be made with her husband, and not without him. And when +she reached their country station and found him awaiting her on the +platform, she sprang towards him with impulsive eagerness. + +"Oh, Lancelot, how glad I am to be home again!" + +"I have been like a lost dog without you," he rejoined; "I have worked +hard to make the time pass, and have got through a tremendous lot of +business. Now I mean to take a short holiday. We'll have a second sort +of honeymoon." + +"Lovely! Now tell me all the news." + +She was tucked up in warm rugs, driving in the high dog-cart, which she +and her husband loved. + +[Illustration: "OH, LANCELOT, HOW GLAD I AM TO BE HOME AGAIN!"] + +"News? We don't move as fast as London does in these parts, you know." + +"Have you had any visitors?" + +"Sir Thomas and Lady Melton have come home, and called the other +day. They knew my father well. You will like them, but they're quite +characters. They both hunt still, though they have turned seventy, and +they do everything together." + +"As we shall, when we're their age, I hope," said Hope laughing—"not +the hunting, but being together, I mean." + +"Kitty is in a state of excitement and longing to see you. I told +her that she must not bother you to-night, but that she might come +up the first thing to-morrow morning. She has heard from Brian, and +he wants her to go out next month. I believe she went off to buy her +wedding-dress to-day." + +"Oh, Lancelot, you shall not laugh at her. Dear little Kitty! I can +fancy how happy she is!" + +Hope enjoyed every bit of that drive home, and when she entered the +house, she went from room to room like a child, to see how nice +everything was looking. + +After dinner, she went into the library, and there, over a wood-fire, +she and Lancelot talked together as if they had been separated a year, +instead of a month. + +"It feels so airless in town," Hope said; "when I get home again, the +air is life-giving. Do we get the sea breezes here, Lancelot? It feels +like it to me. How far off are we from the sea?" + +"Too far for that," he said, smiling, "though my forefathers are +supposed to have come across here from Denmark. They landed in their +vessel at Flamborough Head, and journeyed across the wolds till they +lighted on this spot. The house is not identically the same, for it was +burnt down in the sixteenth century; I suppose we were called Danes by +the English, and our name stuck to us." + +"How interesting! Do tell me some more." + +"I will look up our pedigree. It is in this room somewhere." + +"I should like to know the origin of a good many surnames," said Hope +reflectively. "My own, for instance; do you think one of my forefathers +was a saint?" + +"I expect so. What constitutes a saint?" + +"Generally some special act of grace, or a lifetime of self-denial, +does it not? I am sure I have not inherited the saintliness, nor have +any of my family." + +"I won't agree to that. Since I have known you, self-denial has been +your characteristic." + +"Don't flatter me, Lancelot. I had such a terrible tumble last year. I +have never told you yet, but when I thought that you were dying, I lost +my faith and rebelled, and behaved in an altogether awful way for a +Christian! I look back to it now as a kind of nightmare. I simply raged +in my soul against God's will. I feel as if I can never atone for those +days of bitter black rebellion." + +"My poor little wife!" + +Lancelot laid his hand tenderly on hers, and added: + +"I was only conscious when I came to life again, as it were, of your +face bending over me. And if ever peace and serenity was stamped on a +face, it was upon yours." + +"Yes, it was all right then. I had seen my wickedness, and—and had +confessed it. You must remember, Lancelot, that I had had no real test +in my life before; I had had troubles and disagreeables, but nothing +touching my inmost soul. I was reading about Abraham's test to-day. +He never faltered even when the apple of his eye was the sacrifice +demanded. I was tested, and found wanting. It ought to make me walk +humbly for the rest of my days. I think I will make a full confession +to you whilst I am about it. It was only a few days before we were +married that I was reading that hymn over to myself: + + "'Peace, perfect peace' + +"And I thought then that I had been carried triumphantly through it, +from first verse to last, that I had found it quite true. Peace of +forgiven sin through the blood of Jesus. Peace in 'thronging duties +pressed,' 'with sorrows surging round,' 'with loved ones far away,' +'our future all unknown,' 'death shadowing us and ours.' Of course +I was thinking of my dear father's death then. And though I knew +the peace was none of my making, there was a kind of self-satisfied +self-righteous feeling in my heart. + +"Then came the real test, and I believe it was sent to me to make +me realise that I was not the perfect being I imagined myself. Why, +Lancelot, you've no idea of the desperate wicked thoughts, that +assailed me when I thought God was taking you from me! I felt almost +inclined to sell my soul to have you restored to me." + +Lancelot drew his wife to him. + +"Sweetheart, forget that time. God forgets when He forgives." + +"Oh," said Hope, with a little shudder, "how near we are to evil, +Lancelot! I could not have believed I would have so utterly lost faith +as I did. I shall never feel sure of myself again." + +"I suppose we are meant to see that we must always watch and struggle +against temptation. How does the hymn end?" + +Hope, with her head resting on her husband's shoulder, repeated softly: + + "'It is enough: earth's struggles soon shall cease, + And Jesus call us to Heaven's perfect peace.'" + + + + _Printed in Great Britain by_ + UNWIN BROTHERS, LIMITED, THE GRESHAM PRESS, WOKING AND LONDON + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77761 *** diff --git a/77761-h/77761-h.htm b/77761-h/77761-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bededc6 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/77761-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,12088 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> + <meta charset="UTF-8"> + <title> + A Bit of Rough Road │ Project Gutenberg + </title> + <link rel="icon" href="images/image001.jpg" type="image/cover"> + <style> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + font-size:12.0pt; + font-family:"Verdana"; +} + +p {text-indent: 2em;} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +h2 {font-size: 1.17em;} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: 33.5%; + margin-right: 33.5%; + clear: both; +} + +/* Images */ + +img { + max-width: 100%; + height: auto; +} + +.w100 { + width: auto + } + +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; + page-break-inside: avoid; + max-width: 100%; +} + +p.t1 {text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 125%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t2 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 150%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t3 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 100%; + text-align: center + } + +p.t3b { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 100%; + font-weight: bold; + text-align: center + } + +p.t4 { + text-indent: 0%; + font-size: 80%; + text-align: center + } + +p.letter {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +p.poem { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + padding: 20px 0; + text-align: left; + width: 555px; + } + + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77761 ***</div> + +<p>Transcriber's note: Unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image001" style="max-width: 33.8125em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image001.jpg" alt="image001"> +</figure> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image002" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image002"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image002.jpg" alt="image002"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"DO YOU REMEMBER IT—'PEACE, PERFECT PEACE'?"</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h1><em>A Bit of</em> <br> +<br> + <em>Rough Road</em></h1> + +<p class="t3"> +<br> +=============================================================<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +By<br> +</p> + +<p class="t1"> +<em>Amy Le Feuvre</em><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="t4"> +<em>Author of</em><br> +<br> +<em>"Probable Sons," "The Mender," "Heather's Mistress," etc.</em><br> +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +<br> +=============================================================<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> + <em>"Oh! dost thou complain that Heaven's way is rugged?. . .</em><br> + <em>Be the oftener walking in it, and that will make it smooth."</em><br> + <br> +<span style="margin-left: 27.5em;">GURNALL.</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +<br> +<em>Illustrated by Percy Tarrant</em><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +<br> +=============================================================<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="t4"> +<em>London</em><br> +</p> + +<p class="t3"> +<em>The Religious Tract Society</em><br> +</p> + +<p class="t4"> +<em>4, Bouverie Street; & 65, St. Paul's Churchyard</em><br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<pre> + + <em>BY THE SAME AUTHOR</em> + + + The Mender Jill's Red Bag + On the Edge of a Moor Odd Made Even + Dwell Deep Legend Led + A Puzzling Pair A Little Maid + Heather's Mistress The Carved Cupboard + Miss Lavender's Boy, and Other Sketches Odd + +</pre> + +<p><br></p> + +<p class="t4"> +THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY, 4 BOUVERIE STREET;<br> +& 65 ST. PAUL'S CHURCHYARD, LONDON, E.C.<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p class="t3b"> +CONTENTS<br> +</p></div> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>CHAPTER</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_1">I. STRANGE THOUGHTS</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_2">II. A QUIET HOUSE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_3">III. A NEW FRIEND</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_4">IV. TAKEN BY SURPRISE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_5">V. CONFLICTING DUTIES</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_6">VI. A BUSY DAY</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_7">VII. SETTLING DOWN</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_8">VIII. HOPE'S CHOICE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_9">IX. A HOLIDAY</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_10">X. HESTER'S BEES</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_11">XI. TROUBLE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_12">XII. THE NEW HOME</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_13">XIII. KITTY</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_14">XIV. THE LITTLE FLAGGED PATH</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_15">XV. A SPEEDY PARTING</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_16">XVI. A LONG NIGHT</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_17">XVII. HOMELESS</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_18">XVIII. AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_19">XIX. BOY AND GIRL</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_20">XX. A VISIT TO LONDON</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_21">XXI. A SUCCESSFUL SEARCH</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_22">XXII. ALONE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_23">XXIII. WAITING</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_24">XXIV. WEDDING BELLS</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_25">XXV. IN THE BORDERLAND</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_26">XXVI. A YORKSHIRE HOME</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_27">XXVII. VISITORS</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Chapter_28">XXVIII. A CONFESSION</a></p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p class="t3b"> +ILLUSTRATIONS<br> +</p> +</div> + +<p><br></p> + +<p><a href="#Image002">"DO YOU REMEMBER IT—'PEACE, PERFECT PEACE'?" <em>Frontispiece</em></a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image004">HOPE SLIPPED AWAY TO HEAR THE FAMOUS PREACHER</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image005">"MR. ST. CLAIR KEEPS ASKIN' IF YOU'VE COME"</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image006">"HOPE, YOU ARE CHANGED," JIM SAID, SUDDENLY</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image007">"YOU CAN DO NOTHING FOR HIM, BUT JUST WATCH HIM"</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image008">"SIT STILL AND SEE A MAN MAKE TEA"</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image009">"WHAT IS IT?" HE INQUIRED. "CAN I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?"</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image010">"I THINK YOUR NAME OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN PEACE," SAID KITTY</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image011">THE WATER WAS SLOWLY BUT SURELY MOUNTING THE STAIRS</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image012">SHE GAVE HIM MISS RILL'S ADDRESS</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image013">"WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOURSELF? YOU'RE A WRAITH!"</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image014">HER SURROUNDINGS SEEMED TO MELT AWAY, SHE WAS WAFTED INTO A LITTLE PARADISE</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image015">HOPE PUT HER FACE IN HER HANDS AND SOBBED ALOUD</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image016">HOPE RAN DOWN TO MEET THEM</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image017">"YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE FOR THE FUTURE"</a></p> + +<p><a href="#Image018">"OH, LANCELOT, HOW GLAD I AM TO BE HOME AGAIN!"</a></p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p class="poem"> +<br> +<em>Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin?</em><br> +<em>The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.</em><br> + <br> +<em>Peace, perfect peace, by thronging duties press'd?</em><br> +<em>To do the will of Jesus, this is rest.</em><br> + <br> +<em>Peace, perfect peace, with sorrows surging round?</em><br> +<em>On Jesus' bosom nought but calm is found.</em><br> + <br> +<em>Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away?</em><br> +<em>In Jesus' keeping we are safe and they.</em><br> + <br> +<em>Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown?</em><br> +<em>Jesus we know, and He is on the throne.</em><br> + <br> +<em>Peace, perfect peace, death shadowing us and ours?</em><br> +<em>Jesus has vanquish'd death and all its powers.</em><br> + <br> +<em>It is enough: earth's struggles soon shall cease,</em><br> +<em>And Jesus call us to Heaven's perfect peace.</em><br> + <br> +<span style="margin-left: 16.5em;">E. H. BICKERSTETH.</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p class="t4"> +<em>(From the Hymnal Companion. By permission of Messrs. Longmans,</em><br> +<em>Green & Co.)</em><br> +</p> +</div> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t2"> +<b>A Bit of Rough Road</b><br> +</p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image003" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image003.jpg" alt="image003"></figure> + +<p><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_1">Chapter I</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>STRANGE THOUGHTS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"HOPE, what are you doing?"</p> + +<p>"Something that she ought not to do. She is thinking."</p> + +<p>"Don't be cynical, Jim. Do you want me, Aunt Gertrude?"</p> + +<p>The young girl who spoke rose from her seat by the window and came +towards a stout old lady, who was carrying on an animated conversation +with two or three of her Sunday visitors.</p> + +<p>They were in a London drawing-room, and though outside the sun shone, +and the flowers in the park close by were bright with colour; it was +early enough in the spring to need a fire.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney's room looked the picture of cosy warmth and comfort. +Tea was being handed round; and as Hope St. Clair came into the little +circle round the fire, there were two who regarded her very critically. +Her aunt saw a tall slight girl, exquisitely gowned, whose walk and +voice and movement all proclaimed her to be one of Society's successes. +Mrs. Daubeney noted nothing of which to complain, as her eyes travelled +from the Paris gown to the delicate oval face, the wealth of soft dark +hair, the sensitively cut features, and the bright, vivacious grey +eyes that were alive with a thousand lights and shadows, and seemed to +reflect to the world in general a charming personality from within.</p> + +<p>But Jim Horrocks's eyes saw further. He noted that the girl's lips +were quivering, that her eyes were troubled, and that, in spite of her +apparently gay demeanour, that seat by the window had been taken with +a purpose. For about twenty minutes she had withdrawn herself from her +fellow-creatures, and those twenty minutes had been full of troubled +thought. He drew a chair forward for her, and offering her a cup of +tea, he said persuasively:</p> + +<p>"Just tell me how far away you got from us, and if you are very sorry +to be back again."</p> + +<p>Hope looked at him rather gravely.</p> + +<p>"The Murrays took me to St. Ambrose's this morning."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I wish I had known! I would have come too. That fellow is the last +sensation. They say he lashes us with a most able and cutting tongue. +Lady May Fosberry has given up all gaiety for five whole days and taken +to the slums. What did he tell you? It's rotten bad form, I consider, +to abuse the class by whom he lives."</p> + +<p>"You must hear him for yourself."</p> + +<p>Hope's eyes were mirthful now. She added:</p> + +<p>"I wonder where and when you heard your last sermon, Jim."</p> + +<p>"In India," he replied promptly, "six years ago. Sermons are an +unnecessary appendage to any service, I consider. Your aunt talks of +leaving town; surely she is not going to do so yet?"</p> + +<p>"Her doctor says she must. We are thinking of trying what a quiet life +will do."</p> + +<p>Jim Horrocks laughed.</p> + +<p>"When I see a fish flourishing on dry ground, then I shall see Mrs. +Daubeney's health improve in a quiet atmosphere! No wonder such a +prospect, combined with the Canon's discourse, has depressed you."</p> + +<p>"I am never depressed; I don't know the meaning of the word."</p> + +<p>Hope spoke emphatically. Jim smiled at her provokingly. He and she were +the best of friends. Once, he had been in love with her. That was when +she was just launching into her first season, and having known him from +the time she was a little maiden in short frocks, had constituted him +as her cavalier and comrade. But Mrs. Daubeney nipped it in the bud. +She reminded Jim that he could not make his income suffice for his own +needs, being an impecunious younger son and only having a secretaryship +in some Government billet to supplement his allowance; and she told him +that until she died, Hope would only receive from her £400 a year.</p> + +<p>"I am likely to live some years yet," she informed him. "Hope has no +idea of economy; she spends more than £400 on her clothes as it is. How +do you imagine you could set up house together? No, she must do better +than take you, Jim, for her own sake and for yours."</p> + +<p>The young people had accepted the wisdom of their elder. Neither were +very disturbed at this ultimatum, for Hope had boundless anticipations +of the future, and Jim was fast becoming resigned to the fact that the +best things in life were not to be his.</p> + +<p>He remained her friend; he was always at hand if she wanted his help; +and he watched her progress through the daily routine of her full and +busy life with amusement, and sometimes with concern.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney, as she was wont to declare, "knew everybody worth +knowing." Her energy never flagged, her worldly wisdom never failed. +And yet, though Hope was popular with all her friends, she was +still unmarried, and there seemed no prospects of her bestowing her +affections upon any of those who desired her favour. For four years she +and her aunt had been swept along in the social tide. No race-meeting, +no regatta, no Society function was without their presence. They +had travelled, they had yachted, they had wintered on the Riviera, +at Cairo, and in Spain, and when they were not exercising their +hospitality in their Park Lane house, they were visiting their friends' +country houses. Hope's supreme freshness and energy, her capacity for +all games, from bridge to hockey and golf, her gay spirits, and, above +all, her warm-hearted sympathy with the world in general, made her a +universal favourite.</p> + +<p>Lately Mrs. Daubeney had been out of health. She would not own it for +a long time; but she was forced to take a physician's advice, and the +result was that a move from London was contemplated.</p> + +<p>"What quiet place will hold you?" Jim asked, and Hope, with a little +laugh, said:</p> + +<p>"Brighton or Homburg, I expect."</p> + +<p>Then fresh visitors were announced, and Hope turned to them. It was +late before the last ones took their departure. For a few minutes aunt +and niece were alone. Hope drew up an easy chair to the fire and let +herself drop into it with a little sigh of satisfaction.</p> + +<p>"Now we can be silent," she said, with a mixture of mirth and +wistfulness in her tone.</p> + +<p>"No," said Mrs. Daubeney; "I have been waiting to speak to you all day. +You were so long at church this morning that you did not return before +the Seatons arrived to lunch, and I have had no opportunity since. I +heard from your father by the late post last night."</p> + +<p>"From my father?" Hope repeated the words in wonder. "Why, Aunt +Gertrude, we have not heard from him since I first went to school!"</p> + +<p>"No, he washed his hands of you—to use a vulgar phrase—from the time I +adopted you."</p> + +<p>"I began to think I had no father," Hope continued. "He is a myth to +me. Is he still in Canada?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. Your stepmother is dead. It is a sad story; he was driving her +with some young horses, and they bolted, and there was a terrible +upset. She was killed on the spot, and one of the children with her, +and your father very much injured. That was some time ago, but your +father says though he is nearly right again, he is not able to farm +much, and he talks of coming home. He asks if you are married."</p> + +<p>"Poor father!" Hope's eyes grew meditative. "I wish I knew him, aunt. I +have only a recollection of a jolly handsome man tossing me up in the +air and calling me puny! How dreadfully he must feel the loss of his +wife! She was such a capable person."</p> + +<p>"His letter is very like him," said Mrs. Daubeney. "He wonders whether +you will be of any use to him if he returns to England and finds you +still unmarried, or whether you would like to go out to him. George's +one idea is how to use people. He has never taken the slightest notice +of you till now, when he fancies you may help him."</p> + +<p>"Usefulness is an unknown term to me."</p> + +<p>Something in the girl's tone made her aunt look sharply at her. Hope +returned the look with one of her low laughs.</p> + +<p>"You have not brought me up to be useful, have you?" she said.</p> + +<p>"No, thank goodness! There has been no necessity for that."</p> + +<p>"I am afraid I could not help him," said Hope slowly and meditatively. +Her thoughts went back to the first years of her childhood spent in a +dreary suburban house; her young stepmother, with a crowd of babies, +managing her household wisely and well, but with little time or +sympathy for her small stepdaughter, who was then very delicate.</p> + +<p>Young Mrs. St. Clair was more relieved than otherwise when, on the eve +of their migration to Canada, her husband's sister came forward and +offered a home to Hope. The child left her home with little regret, and +had long ago ceased to correspond with her relations. Her father had +never seen much of her, and he did not encourage correspondence.</p> + +<p>Now as she thought of the suggestion her father had made, she dimly +began to wonder whether he had not some claim upon her. After all, he +was her father, and she was his eldest daughter.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney saw the growing thought in her eyes. She spoke at once.</p> + +<p>"Of course, I am going to write to your father immediately, and +show him the ridiculousness of such a proposition. He must get some +housekeeper out there. I can read between the lines. The farm is not +paying, and he wants to throw off all his responsibilities like an old +glove, and be off to some other sphere. We need not think any more +about it. I did not adopt you or educate you, to lose you just when I +want your society most. Now will you give me your attention to another +matter? I have been thinking of a small house of mine at Kayminster. +It has been let furnished to a tenant for eight years. She has just +left it to join her husband in India. I feel very much inclined to go +down, and take possession of it for a few weeks. Of course we should +vegetate; but I know some nice people there, and it is rather a pretty +neighbourhood. You know how stagnant a cathedral town is, so you must +not expect any gaiety, and if we find it too dull, we can come back to +town. I should not dream of staying there beyond a week or two. What do +you think?"</p> + +<p>"I am quite willing," said Hope brightly. "Is the house in order for us +to take possession at once?"</p> + +<p>"I wondered if you would take Nelson down and inspect it for me. I +cannot quite trust her—she takes such prejudices."</p> + +<p>Nelson had been maid to Mrs. Daubeney for fifteen years, and her rule +over her mistress was a masterful one. Hope was the only one who could +manage her.</p> + +<p>"Of course I will. Let me go to-morrow, and then I can cut the Blakes' +dinner-party. I always hoped something would turn up to prevent my +appearance at it."</p> + +<p>"Certainly not. Will you ever lose your impulsiveness? Next week will +be quite time enough."</p> + +<p>There was a pause. Hope leant back in her chair and gazed into the +glowing coals. Mrs. Daubeney was mentally composing her letter to her +brother. She started when Hope spoke again.</p> + +<p>"Aunt Gertrude, you ought to hear Canon FitzRoy. He is the most +eloquent preacher I have ever heard."</p> + +<p>"I am not fond of eloquence. It takes an unfair advantage of you."</p> + +<p>"Oh, but he told us some home-truths!"</p> + +<p>"I can imagine he did!"</p> + +<p>Hope was not to be repressed by her aunt's sarcastic tone.</p> + +<p>"His indictments were very severe; but he got them out of the Bible, +and they have been ringing in my head ever since. We are 'lovers of +our own selves,' 'lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God, having +a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.' Oh, I know you +will say it is just cant; but I wish you had heard him take up every +point and thresh it out to the bitter end. It has opened a new field of +thought to me, and not a pleasant one. Captain Murray was dumbfounded. +He told me he was going straight home to think it out, and his wife was +in tears."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney went to her davenport.</p> + +<p>"I am afraid I am not interested, my dear. Do not speak to me now. I +must write a line to your father."</p> + +<p>So Hope sat with puckered brows, reviewing her life for the first +time with a sense of shame. The stinging words of the preacher had +burnt into her very soul. She could not get rid of them, and she at +present was not conscious of any desire to do so. She was like a child +awakened from a dream, and though the first touch hurt, astonishment at +the possibility of a different existence kept her from resenting the +awakening.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney knew her niece too well to argue with her. She wrote +her letter, and dressing for dinner followed. Hope had no more time +for thinking till she went to bed, and as she was playing bridge till +twelve o'clock, she was too tired to sit up after it.</p> + +<p>As she laid her head upon her pillow, she murmured to herself:</p> + +<p>"And Sunday bridge-playing he condemned. I wonder if the Murrays will +give it up."</p> + +<p>The following week was a very full one. Hope did not have much time for +further thought; but when Sunday came round again, she slipped away to +hear the famous preacher, and this time Jim accompanied her.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Jim," she said, as they walked back together, "is life really what +Canon FitzRoy makes it, or is it what we make it?"</p> + +<p>"What do we make it?" asked Jim quizzically.</p> + +<p>Hope knitted her pretty brows.</p> + +<p>"Just a level bit of time to be got through as brightly and pleasantly +as we can. Isn't this your experience?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Jim sturdily. "I've had too many hard knocks to look at it +with your eyes. You have never seen below the surface, and I hope you +never will."</p> + +<p>"Don't talk to me as if I am a doll or a puppet. How do you see life?"</p> + +<p>Jim would not answer.</p> + +<p>"Of course," Hope continued, "I know that the Canon does not quite +understand us. There is a great deal of real kindness and goodness of +heart amongst those he condemns. Very religious people are not half so +pleasant in their manners, nor so sympathetic, as a rule, as those they +judge. But I do acknowledge that 'God is not in all our thoughts.' And +I, personally, love myself, and love pleasure much more than I do Him. +Of course I do. I am not an infidel! But my belief in God doesn't touch +my life; the Canon is quite right there."</p> + +<p>"We'll forget the sermon," the young man said lightly. "It isn't worth +becoming uncomfortable over it. You women take things so seriously. I +enjoyed hearing him. His hits were given straight from the shoulder; +but I have a fancy that I could stand up one day and give it to him +back. I could tell the clergy a few home-truths about themselves. +Couldn't you?"</p> + +<p>"No; don't be irreverent, Jim."</p> + +<p>Jim laughed, but did not pursue the subject, and Hope kept her thoughts +to herself.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>On the following Tuesday she and Nelson went down to Kayminster. They +stayed at the hotel there, and were away for a couple of days; then +returned to report themselves.</p> + +<p>"I think it will be a charming retreat, aunt," said Hope. "It is in +very good repair. Of course you know it; but I love the quaintness +of the town; and the old house opening upon the street one side, and +stretching out at the back into that beautiful old garden, took my +fancy immensely. I don't know what you will do with yourself—that is +the only objection I offer. We can drive, I suppose, and attend the +cathedral services, and perhaps receive a few visitors. Will that +satisfy you?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney looked rather doleful.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image004" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image004"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image004.jpg" alt="image004"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>HOPE SLIPPED AWAY TO HEAR THE FAMOUS PREACHER.</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"We must have some nice week-end parties," she said. "It will not be +for long. I dare say I shall be better for the quiet."</p> + +<p>And so it was arranged, and a few days afterwards they left town, and +took up their abode in Wistaria Lodge.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_2">Chapter II</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A QUIET HOUSE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>MRS. DAUBENEY'S house was at the end of the street leading to the +cathedral. The oak door with the massive brass knocker, the mullioned +windows, and gigantic wistaria which covered the front of the house, +all betokened age. To Hope's eyes the interior was even more charming. +A low broad hall ran through the house and ended in glass doors leading +into the delightful garden, which consisted of a green lawn, flanked +on each side by ancient cedar-trees, a broad, old-fashioned terrace +of flowers, and a second walled garden beyond, containing fruit and +flowers.</p> + +<p>To the right of the hall lay the drawing-room, and it was as great a +contrast to the town rooms to which Mrs. Daubeney was accustomed as +could be imagined. Deep recesses, quaint spindle-legged chairs, china +and old-fashioned chintz, a harpsichord, an old spinet, and a straight +high-back sofa, with bolster cushions—these delighted Hope's soul, +but brought dismay to her aunt's. The windows at the back of the room +looked out upon the garden, and one opened into a small conservatory. +On the other side of the hall was the dining-room and morning-room, +both good-sized rooms, and simply though suitably furnished. The stairs +were low and broad, and of solid oak, as were also the banisters. +Upstairs there was a delightful broad landing, and five or six +bedrooms. One of these, which Hope took for her own, had a charming +view of some buttercup meadows lying by the side of the river, and on +the opposite side, amongst some stately elms, was the cathedral.</p> + +<p>And one sunny afternoon, about a week after their arrival, Hope sat on +her window-seat listening to the afternoon chimes and indulging for +the first time in a good "think." Mrs. Daubeney was lying down in her +room. The house was very still. As Hope sat there, the only sound that +broke the silence inside was the ticking of a grandfather clock in the +hall. Outside, the rooks building their nests in the old elms kept up +a continuous cawing. The murmur of the swift-flowing river and the +chirping of the birds had more of a soothing effect than a distracting +one. Hope opened her window, and leaning her elbows on the broad sill, +gazed over the buttercup meadows and river to the range of far-distant +blue hills.</p> + +<p>"How delicious this sense of rest is! I wonder if our London life is a +good one. I am getting a little tired of the rush; but there is little +else to do, and, I must say, I love my fellow-creatures. If Canon +FitzRoy is right, we are very wrong. 'Lovers of pleasure more than +lovers of God.' Of course we are; but I did not realise I was destined +to be a lover of God. It is a terrible thought that God requires loving +service from every creature He has made. He does not get it, and we +really are a godless lot. The Canon was specially severe on Society's +Sundays. I thought if one went to early service, that was sufficient. +Sunday is a holiday; he makes it a holy day. Oh, in the bottom of my +heart I feel I am all wrong, and the world is all wrong! Why has no one +told me before?"</p> + +<p>The cathedral bell began to toll for evensong. It interrupted her +meditation, and then a sudden impulse made her seize hold of her hat +and, slipping into her jacket, she went softly downstairs. In the hall +she met Nelson.</p> + +<p>"Tell Aunt Gertrude not to wait tea. I am going to the cathedral."</p> + +<p>She stepped outside into the old-fashioned street. There was little +traffic; a few people like herself were quietly making their way to the +cathedral.</p> + +<p>As she entered it, the hush and calm struck her very forcibly. She +was shown into one of the stalls. The remembrance of that spring +evening never left her. The sun stealing in through the stained-glass +windows and colouring every spot upon which it rested, the deep soft +vibrating sound of the organ, the pure voices of the choir-boys, and +the reverence and quiet of the evening service, all combined to leave a +lasting impression upon her mind. She looked at the various occupants +of the stalls with some interest, and smiled as she recognised the +different stamp, in dress and appearance, from most of her town +acquaintances. One figure strangely attracted her. It was that of an +elderly woman—a tall stately figure, with a face of wonderful strength +and sweetness. By her side was a young man, who, by his likeness to +her, was evidently her son.</p> + +<p>The mother looked as if she were accustomed to the cathedral, as if +she were a part and parcel of it herself. She was absorbed in the +service, and Hope knew that it was no empty form to her. The son +appeared interested, but his attention was more upon his mother than +the service. He moved a footstool for her, handed her the anthem-book, +and found the place in it for her. Once he bent down and asked her +something, and smiled as he received her low-toned reply. He looked +bronzed and weather-worn. Hope fancied that he had not been long home +from abroad. She felt, as she sat opposite them, that she would like to +know them, and wondered who they were. Then her mind turned back upon +herself, and faintly and dimly there rose up from the depths of her +heart a longing to see and understand the beauty of true religion.</p> + +<p>The sense of shortcoming and of shame that had been slowly gathering +intensity, now surged upwards so overwhelmingly that she felt the hot +tears spring to her eyes. A wave of black depression seemed to take +possession of her.</p> + +<p>"'A lover of self, a lover of pleasure, having the form of godliness, +but denying the power thereof.' That is me, and I am condemned, utterly +condemned by my life! I am really a hypocrite. I have no right to be +here. I am an outcast with all the rest of my world. We shall never +be anything but rank outsiders. A holy God must abhor us. We deny His +power. We think we can rule and fashion our lives. We are utterly +indifferent to His wishes, and independent of Him. Oh, I am absolutely +miserable!"</p> + +<p>In the midst of these disquieting thoughts, the boys' sweet voices +suddenly sounded forth, echoing down the empty nave and returning with +vibrating sweetness and power:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin?<br> + The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope did not hear the remainder of the hymn. The tears she had been +restraining with such difficulty now fell so fast that she sat back +in her corner, and hoped that the gathering dusk would shield her +from all observation. She remained in her seat after the rest of the +congregation, and was the last to leave the cathedral.</p> + +<p>When she reached home, she was composed and cheerful again, though the +first verse of the hymn still rang through her heart and brain.</p> + +<p>She found her aunt receiving visitors.</p> + +<p>"Hope, come here. Lady Chesney says she has met you once or twice in +town."</p> + +<p>Lady Chesney greeted her kindly, and introduced her two daughters, one +of whom was about Hope's age, the other considerably older.</p> + +<p>"I have not met you before, I think," Hope said, turning to the eldest +Miss Chesney.</p> + +<p>"No, I have not been to town for several years, I dislike it so, and my +sister has been abroad studying music."</p> + +<p>"Don't you find Kayminster very quiet?"</p> + +<p>"We do not live in Kayminster. We are five miles out, at Landbeck +Abbey. I prefer country to town."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Hester is a regular hermit! But we shall not give you a chance +of keeping quiet, Miss St. Clair. We have a bazaar next week for +our church organ, and we shall enlist you at once as one of our +helpers. What are you good at? Theatricals, music, games? We are +having a gymkhana; you must take part in that. We are going to have a +house-party for the occasion, and a friend of yours, Lady May Fosberry, +is coming to stay with us."</p> + +<p>Minnie Chesney and Hope were soon talking away as if they had known +each other all their lives.</p> + +<p>"You won't find many people to know in Kayminster," Minnie said. "The +Dean is nice, but his wife's a regular prude! The Moberly girls are +passable, their father is one of the canons, and then there are Mrs. +Dane and her sons. Of course there are a good many old maids and quiet +humdrum folk, who treat Kayminster as if it alone was the centre of the +universe, but you won't have much to do with them, I expect. Are you a +good bridge player? We always have bridge at home on Sunday afternoons. +And there's golf about two miles off, and we shall soon be beginning +tennis and archery. You will find enough to employ your time, I expect."</p> + +<p>"I have never found it hang on my hands yet," said Hope, as soon as she +could get in a word. "I am surprised May Fosberry is coming down to +you. I thought she was working hard in the slums?"</p> + +<p>"She has had a breakdown, I believe. Between ourselves, I expect she is +pretty sick of it, and wants a reasonable excuse for getting away from +it. I think we shall cure her of that little pastime."</p> + +<p>Hope knew that May was a girl of impulses, who was always trying some +new experience, so she felt inclined to agree with Minnie Chesney. She +was startled to hear Hester say, in rather a deep gruff voice:</p> + +<p>"Give her justice, Minnie! Slum work isn't all play, and I know +something of it."</p> + +<p>"Do you?" questioned Hope eagerly. "Did you find it interesting or +depressing? It seems to me people either love it or hate it. I don't +think I could stand a day of it. Dirt and poverty are so offensive when +combined."</p> + +<p>Hester's grey eyes quietly looked Hope up and down, then she smiled +rather cynically.</p> + +<p>"No," she said, "I don't think you would stand it."</p> + +<p>"By which you mean to infer that I am a very poor creature?" Hope's +eyes were mirthful as she spoke. She added:</p> + +<p>"May I ask why you gave it up?"</p> + +<p>Minnie had turned to talk to Mrs. Daubeney. Hester's clear-cut features +and rather unimpressionable countenance seemed to soften and sadden for +an instant.</p> + +<p>"Because I did not believe in the remedies we were employing, and the +atmosphere of open sin sickened me. In our class we gild and paint it. +I prefer it so; do not you?"</p> + +<p>Hope looked at her gravely.</p> + +<p>Then Hester laughed, and her lips took their usually hard curve.</p> + +<p>"Oh yes. I worked very hard in the slums for six months, and now I am +working just as hard bee-farming; I find the bees pay me better."</p> + +<p>"I suppose they would, if your object is to be rewarded."</p> + +<p>"One generally expects to get something for one's pains, else why make +any efforts? What is your goal in life—leaving the marriage question +alone? You look as if you have some ideas in your head? Do you act up +to your Puritan name?"</p> + +<p>"My head," said Hope, in her pretty mischievous way, "is always too +full to be sorted out and catalogued. My chief idea is to enjoy the +thing I am doing tremendously till it is finished, and then the next +one. Just now I am going to enjoy this old house, and the quaint town, +and the cathedral atmosphere. I have never been in anything like it +before. If I cut your bazaar and send no excuses, you will know it +is because I am steeping my soul in Gothic architecture, and having +visionary dreams in the dim silence of the cathedral."</p> + +<p>Conversation became general, but Hope was attracted by Hester.</p> + +<p>"She is an original woman, aunt," she confided to Mrs. Daubeney +afterwards. "The youngest sister is a very ordinary type, but Hester +has thought and, I think, suffered."</p> + +<p>"And what type are you?" asked Mrs. Daubeney good-naturedly. "For +goodness' sake, Hope, don't get into the habit of criticising and +generalising people! It is such bad form. Lady Chesney is one of my +oldest friends. They have been abroad so much that we have seen little +of each other the last few years. The only son is a sad scapegrace. +I don't believe he will ever inherit the Abbey, and it has been in +the Chesney family for centuries. I fancy his father finds it very +difficult to keep up the place as it is. There will be next to nothing +for those girls at his death. Hester used to be quite a beauty, but she +has quite gone off. I dare say it is as well that she is happy leading +a quiet country life. Minnie is sure to marry, and I can see that her +mother hopes great things from her."</p> + +<p>After a pause, she looked at her niece rather keenly. "George Adair is +coming down to the Chesneys."</p> + +<p>"Is he?" Hope's tone was supremely indifferent. "He will be a good +match for Minnie, aunt."</p> + +<p>"He asked me before we left town whether we should be near the +Chesneys. I let you go your own way, Hope, and am too fond of you to be +sorry that you have been under my wing these four years, but I would +remind you that time is slipping away, and your fresh young years will +not be yours always. I should like to see you settled, and I know +George Adair would make you happy."</p> + +<p>There was a little wistfulness in Mrs. Daubeney's tone. Hope had +disappointed her more than once, but she knew that to try to coerce her +was to court failure at once.</p> + +<p>Hope did not answer. She hummed a little tune as she went about the +room whisking a few chairs into their place, then she disappeared in +the small conservatory, and emerged with a handful of heliotrope. +Holding it up to her aunt, she said playfully:</p> + +<p>"Take a whiff, Aunt Gertrude, it will refresh you. You are looking +tired."</p> + +<p>"I am anxious sometimes—about you."</p> + +<p>"But why? I assure you there is not the slightest cause. You said when +you received my father's letter that you did not adopt me to lose me +when you needed my society most. Don't tell me that you want to get rid +of me."</p> + +<p>"I want to see you married," said Mrs. Daubeney firmly.</p> + +<p>Hope's shoulders shrugged themselves almost imperceptibly.</p> + +<p>"Marriage doesn't seem a success in Society, aunt, except to give you +the wherewithal to clothe yourself and have a good time; and I am +having that with you, thanks to your generosity."</p> + +<p>"George Adair—"</p> + +<p>"Excuse me for interrupting you. George is a wealthy man, I know, but +he is an idle one; he will spend his married life exactly as he does +his single one, in society."</p> + +<p>"Where else would you spend it?" asked Mrs. Daubeney with raised +eyebrows.</p> + +<p>"I think I have a few old-fashioned notions. I should like a home. If +I married George, I know exactly what it would be like. He would rush +me round even faster than I am going at present; and do you know, Aunt +Gertrude, I am getting rather tired."</p> + +<p>"You are a very silly child. Every married woman owns a home. You would +not expect George to retire from all his friends, and spend his life in +one long honeymoon with you."</p> + +<p>"No, I shouldn't," said Hope, laughing merrily. "Poor George! It would +be hard lines to be tied to one woman like that. He is never happy +unless he is following about a dozen round, and his marriage would +never alter him."</p> + +<p>"I hope you are not getting supercilious," said Mrs. Daubeney, +regarding her niece carefully. "There is nothing that tells your age +more than becoming cynical and intolerant of the failings of your +fellow-creatures. Young girls ought to have faith and trust in every +one, and you are not very old yet, my dear."</p> + +<p>"I am sorry, aunt, but don't please quote George Adair to me again. I +hoped we had left him in town."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney said no more. Hope was her bright sweet self for the rest +of the evening. It was not until she reached her bedroom and was again +alone, that her thoughts flew back to the cathedral service.</p> + +<p>"I suppose," she mused, "it is the contrast to anything that I have +experienced before, that attracts me so. St. Paul's and Westminster +Abbey are finer buildings, and have more beautiful music, but they +never give one the sense of absolute peace and rest that this cathedral +does. How beautiful that hymn was! I felt quite thrilled with it. I +shall go there to-morrow. It is Sunday, and I shall have a legitimate +excuse. Oh dear! I wish George Adair were not coming to these parts!"</p> + +<p>A little sigh escaped her. George Adair had nothing in himself to +recommend him, she considered. He was a heavily built man, inclined to +stoutness, not a sportsman, not a politician, but quite content to sit +in ladies' drawing-rooms and flatter pretty women. He never read; he +took his information entirely from conversation around him; he had the +reputation of being a "ladies' man," but Hope always considered that an +insult to her sex; and he was never happy unless he had a lot of people +round him.</p> + +<p>He owned a castle in Scotland, a villa in Cannes, a yacht, and a motor; +and for the past five months he had been haunting Hope's footsteps.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney liked him and encouraged him. His unfailing good-humour +and adaptability to people's moods made him a favourite with all old +ladies. Hope had not disliked him until he began to make his attentions +marked; then she took fright, and now evaded him whenever she got a +chance.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, as for an instant she opened her window and gazed at +the dim ghostly outlines of the turreted towers of the cathedral, "why +is it I feel so restless and so discontented with life? Is it at the +possibility of passing most of it in company with George Adair? Or is +it that I feel there is something better in store for me, something +even more satisfying than marriage, which seems our only goal?"</p> + +<p>She shut her window hastily and went to bed. Her last conscious +thoughts were of the dim, hushed atmosphere of the cathedral and the +boys' sweet voices singing:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin?<br> + The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_3">Chapter III</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A NEW FRIEND</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>MRS. DAUBENEY very seldom went to church. If Sunday was not full up +with engagements, she retired to her room and went to sleep.</p> + +<p>"It's a day of rest," she would say to her niece; "and if I am given +the opportunity, I shall take advantage of it. Church is too fatiguing +at my age."</p> + +<p>So Hope went off by herself to the morning service at the cathedral. +She sat outside in the nave, and just in front of her was the widow +she had so admired, and three sons. They were already there when she +entered.</p> + +<p>Hope felt a kind of fascination in watching them. Few men of her +acquaintance ever sat through a full morning service, including a +sermon, and as she looked at the three stalwart young men, she wondered +at them. The one who had accompanied his mother the day before was +there, another whose clothes were irreproachable in cut and style and +who fingered a dark moustache in rather a "blasé" fashion, and the +third, a handsome fresh-faced boy apparently only just out of his teens.</p> + +<p>Hope noticed, from several little indications, that all three were +devoted to their mother. As she caught sight of her sweet and rather +regal face, she felt a queer sensation rise in her heart, and for +the first time in her life wished she had a mother. "If I had some +one—some one like that," she thought, "to whom I could turn for comfort +and guidance. Aunt Gertrude is very kind, but this woman is such a +different stamp. Her very look sets me wishing to be good!"</p> + +<p>Then she smiled at her own emotion. "I might be a romantic schoolgirl. +What has come over me? I believe it is the atmosphere of this place."</p> + +<p>She tried to turn her attention to the service, but somehow it no +longer impressed her, and she began to find it tedious. The Dean +preached himself that day. But after he had given out his text, Hope +felt that she had had enough, so she got up and left the cathedral.</p> + +<p>The text alone remained with her.</p> + +<p>"The way of peace they know not."</p> + +<p>She was annoyed at the persistency with which the subject was brought +to her notice.</p> + +<p>"Mere coincidence," she said; "but I will not be made miserable over +it. I don't want peace, I want enjoyment."</p> + +<p>She hurried home, and appeared before her aunt in the gayest of spirits.</p> + +<p>"Don't let us go to sleep down here," she pleaded. "Let us do +something. It is a lovely day. Shall we have a drive?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," assented her aunt eagerly. "We will go over and see a distant +cousin of mine, old General Bacon. I have been looking through my +'Where is it,' and I find that he lives about eight miles off."</p> + +<p>"Does he live alone?"</p> + +<p>"He is married. She was a daughter of Lord Champneys. They have no +children."</p> + +<p>Hope pursed up her pretty lips.</p> + +<p>"I hope they won't be dull. I want excitement."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney looked at her.</p> + +<p>"We have come into retreat," she said; "you must not forget that, Hope."</p> + +<p>"Oh yes, I know; and yesterday I thought it delicious, and to-day I am +sick of it! This old town is so intensely solemn, isn't it? I think I +shall see what the golf ground is like before lunch. There is still an +hour. What time shall I order the carriage?"</p> + +<p>"At three."</p> + +<p>Hope went cheerily downstairs, sent a message to the coachman, and then +went through the garden by a gate in the wall and across the buttercup +meadows. It was very quiet and sunny; a small boy, trying to fish in +the river, looked at her with fright in his eyes as she approached him. +To her amusement, he threw his line down on the grass, and dodged round +a tree.</p> + +<p>Out of idle curiosity she pursued him, and, putting her hand on his +shoulder, asked:</p> + +<p>"What are you doing?"</p> + +<p>"Please, 'm, I ain't doin' nothin'."</p> + +<p>"Weren't you trying to fish? Why did you throw your rod down?"</p> + +<p>"Cause 'tis Sunday."</p> + +<p>Hope laughed.</p> + +<p>"I shan't scold you," she said, and she walked on.</p> + +<p>Some words that Canon FitzRoy had said in his sermon returned to her.</p> + +<p>"Sabbath-breaking? Do you think it is only the poorer class who abuse +the privileges of Sunday? It is the rich, and not only the poor, who +cast morals behind their backs, and ignore the claims of the Sabbath +upon them. They ignore the God who made it, they ignore the fact that +it is His day, and not theirs."</p> + +<p>"God's day, and not mine," she repeated to herself. "That small boy's +conscience is more tender than mine."</p> + +<p>It was not a pleasant thought, and she walked on the faster, to forget +it.</p> + +<p>The golf course was in fiat meadows by the river. She crossed them and +found herself on a country road upon the outskirts of the town. An old +red-brick house stood back amongst some trees. The smooth sloping lawn +in front of it and the bright flower-beds attracted her attention.</p> + +<p>She was wondering who lived in it, when she saw the widow and her three +sons evidently coming back from the cathedral service.</p> + +<p>They glanced at her in passing, and then crossed the road and went in +at the iron gate.</p> + +<p>Hope walked quickly home.</p> + +<p>"I want to know them," she said again to herself; and then she wondered +why the sight of the widow filled her at once with the desire for +better things.</p> + +<p>She returned to her aunt in another change of mood.</p> + +<p>"I almost feel inclined to stay at home and sit in the garden with a +book," she said.</p> + +<p>"But I don't feel so inclined," said Mrs. Daubeney good-humouredly. +"Your feelings change oftener than the barometer, so we cannot rely +upon them to guide us through a day."</p> + +<p>Hope laughed lightly and said nothing more. But before lunch was over, +a motor drove up to the door with a party of six friends in it from +town, so their drive had to be cancelled. Bridge-playing and music took +up the whole afternoon, and after dinner was over, Hope went early to +bed, acknowledging to herself that it was possible, even in Kayminster, +to continue their usual pursuits.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>And as the days slipped by, it seemed as if they were, indeed, almost +as full as those in town. There were a great many garden-parties +and picnics given in the neighbourhood, and the Chesneys took care +that Hope should not feel dull. Outwardly she was the life of every +gathering in which she found herself. Minnie Chesney said that there +was no "go" in any game if Hope did not join in it, and yet, under her +keen animation and sparkling merriment, Hope was conscious of a growing +discontent and restlessness in her heart.</p> + +<p>One afternoon she took Lady May Fosberry into her confidence. A tennis +tournament was going on at General and Mrs. Bacon's. Both girls had +been playing, but had been beaten, and between the sets Hope asked her +friend to walk round the garden with her.</p> + +<p>"I have always meant to ask you about your time in the East End, May. +Did you get tired of it? Did it come short of your expectations?"</p> + +<p>Lady May gave a little embarrassed laugh. "It made me so miserable, +Hope. I had to give it up."</p> + +<p>"Why?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't exactly know. You see it all began by my going to hear +Canon FitzRoy in town. He made me so ashamed of the life that I was +leading that I felt that I must do something. And I thought that the +East End poor would be like our tenants on our estate, who are so +pleased when I go to see them. They think it quite an honour."</p> + +<p>"Well?" said Hope, as May came to a pause.</p> + +<p>"I found they were absolutely void of any respect towards our class; +they were either like rough drunken savages or insolent socialists. I +could not get on with them. The dirt and the wickedness sickened me. +And if you want the honest truth, Hope, I discovered that there was +nothing that I could do for them. I could not teach them anything. They +only laughed at me behind my back; I heard they did. Only one woman was +really nice, and she was dying, poor soul. She said to me one day,—</p> + +<p>"'Oh, miss, it isn't so much food that I want, and good nursing, I get +enough of both, but it's peace in my soul. I've led a wicked life, and +I've got to meet God. 'Tis that which scares me so.'</p> + +<p>"What could I say to her? She was too ill to go to church. I told the +Vicar about her, and I suppose he went to her; but I could do her no +good. Could you have helped her?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Hope gravely, "because I'm feeling exactly the same myself."</p> + +<p>"And so am I," returned May quickly; "and I think Canon FitzRoy is +right, we are just as bad as they are, as far as our relationship to +God goes. We don't know or love Him any better than they do; and I came +to the conclusion that it was all a farce, and so I gave it up."</p> + +<p>"Do you ever talk to Hester Chesney? She worked in the slums, she tells +me."</p> + +<p>"Yes; she gave it up as I did. But I am afraid of her, she is so +cynical. Mother scolds me because she says I mope; but I'm really quite +miserable about myself."</p> + +<p>"I heard a hymn sung in the cathedral here that was quite lovely," said +Hope slowly, "at least it sounds so. Perhaps you know it?</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin?<br> + The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"Yes, I have heard it."</p> + +<p>May repeated the words softly to herself, and then Minnie Chesney came +up, and the little talk was over. But Hope began to feel that there +were other restless hearts besides her own; and she wondered again if +there was any solution of the problem that was perplexing her.</p> + +<p>That same afternoon she was introduced for the first time to Mrs. Dane, +the widow lady in whom she was so interested. She learnt that she was +the wife of a late canon at the cathedral; that her eldest son held +some civil appointment in India and had just come home for a holiday, +and that her two other sons lived at home. One was agent on a ducal +estate in the neighbourhood, the other was reading at home for the Bar. +Mrs. Dane only spoke to Hope for a few minutes; but her youngest son, +Paul, was Hope's partner at tennis, and he was very communicative.</p> + +<p>"We have been wondering who you were," he said to Hope, "for you are +foreign to the usual type about here. I don't mean the county people, +but the Kayminster folk. My mother noticed you at the cathedral long +ago. Oh, you don't know how you have been discussed. What do you think +of our sleepy town?"</p> + +<p>"I like it," responded Hope brightly; "it is restful."</p> + +<p>He looked at her comically.</p> + +<p>"You don't want rest."</p> + +<p>"I do. My life is mostly spent in town. One gets so tired of the +crowds."</p> + +<p>"Ah, that is what I like. I'm soon going to take up my abode there. You +are seeing our neighbourhood to the best advantage now, but wait till +the winter comes."</p> + +<p>"I don't think I shall be here then."</p> + +<p>He looked a little disappointed.</p> + +<p>"We heard that Mrs. Daubeney was becoming a resident here."</p> + +<p>"Oh no, she has only come here to be quiet. She is not very strong at +present, and her doctors advised the move."</p> + +<p>"Do you know the Danes well?" Hope asked Minnie Chesney a little later.</p> + +<p>"Yes, Mrs. Dane is a dear; a little too good and proper for me. Her +sons idolise her. Paul is a very nice boy; Rufus gives himself airs; +the eldest has just come home from India. He is very clever, I believe. +We asked him here to-day, but he wouldn't come. He is not a 'ladies' +man,' Paul says. Don't you hate that expression? I do. Mrs. Dane is +going to call on your aunt, so you will have an opportunity of knowing +her boys, and perhaps you can persuade Lancelot to be a little more +sociable. We used to be girls and boys together. Lancelot was always +different from the others. Not a prig, but one who always expected us +to follow his lead, very masterful, and with very high-flown notions. +He has hardly come near us since he has come home. He told me straight +out that we were too young for him. Did you ever hear such nonsense?"</p> + +<p>And then Minnie chattered away on another subject, and Hope returned +home looking forward with pleasure to Mrs. Dane's acquaintance.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>She called the very next day, and Mrs. Daubeney was not well enough to +see her. Hope was writing at her davenport in the drawing-room when she +was announced, and the girl rose to meet her with a soft flush upon her +cheek, and with shining eyes. Mrs. Dane's low sweet voice fascinated +her, but after a few commonplace remarks Hope said brightly, though the +wistfulness of her eyes belied her tone:</p> + +<p>"I have wanted to know you, Mrs. Dane, ever since I first saw you in +the cathedral. I expect you will laugh at me, but I can't tell you what +the rest and repose of that first evening service were to me, and you +seemed part of it."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane regarded Hope's face very tenderly. "I, too, have learnt to +look upon that evening service as something very precious to me," she +said, ignoring the reference to herself.</p> + +<p>"But I'm not at all religious," said Hope quickly; "and I didn't go to +the service in the way you did. It seemed to lay hold of me in some +inexplicable fashion. I suppose the atmosphere impressed me. I am quite +a stranger to quiet. As the good preacher said a couple of Sundays ago, +'The way of peace they know not.' You see I have remembered his text, +though I heard no more."</p> + +<p>"You went out, I think?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; did you notice me? We don't often listen to sermons in town, +unless it is anything very out of the way." She did not say this +flippantly, but stated it as a fact. "Then I went for a walk, and met +a small boy fishing with an uneasy conscience, and then I met you, and +all that Sunday I was alternating between frivolity and seriousness. +I don't know why I am saying this to you except that I have a feeling +that you can help me."</p> + +<p>"Tell me more about yourself."</p> + +<p>"There is nothing to tell you. I am what Canon FitzRoy calls a +butterfly of fashion; and I have only been wondering lately if I could +turn into a bee. I am afraid the two natures are very far apart."</p> + +<p>She laughed gaily as she spoke, but her eyes belied her mirth.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane looked at her with deepening interest. "You and I must have +some talks together," she said. "If you can spare the time, will you +come over to see me one morning? I am always at home then."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope quickly, "I will, after our state call has been +accomplished."</p> + +<p>She turned to talk of other subjects, but she felt, before Mrs. Dane +left, that she had made a friend of her, and told her aunt that she had +been entertaining the most fascinating woman that she had ever met.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney looked dubiously at her when she heard who it was.</p> + +<p>"I should not have thought she was your style, Hope."</p> + +<p>"I am thinking of changing my style," was the girl's quick retort.</p> + +<p>"What do you mean? There is something the matter with you I am sure, +you have been so odd in your manner lately. Is anything troubling you?"</p> + +<p>Hope did not answer. She was pouring out a cup of tea for her aunt in +the drawing-room. Mrs. Daubeney had just come down and was lying on the +couch. She looked at her niece anxiously as the girl came up to her, +cup in hand.</p> + +<p>"Hope, you are not going to refuse George Adair?"</p> + +<p>"My dear aunt, you are premature. He is at present having a very good +time at the Chesneys'. Minnie likes him very much, she told me so. +Now we have come here for a rest. I hear so much about marriage and +proposals in town that I want a change in our programme here. Shall I +play to you?"</p> + +<p>She moved to the piano as she spoke.</p> + +<p>Hope's music was always acceptable, because it was sympathetic. She was +not a brilliant musician, but she loved the art itself, and it was not +so much an accomplishment with her as it was a keen enjoyment. Mrs. +Daubeney as a rule enjoyed it as much as she did, but she was always +vexed when her niece deliberately refused to discuss certain subjects +with her.</p> + +<p>She interrupted a Beethoven sonata:</p> + +<p>"I have asked George to lunch with us to-morrow, and he has accepted."</p> + +<p>Hope nodded her head and went on playing; then suddenly she crashed her +hands down on the keys and rose from her seat.</p> + +<p>"I would rather go straight out to my father, Aunt Gertrude, than marry +George, so I hope he will not ask me."</p> + +<p>With which rather tempestuous sentence she left the room, and Mrs. +Daubeney murmured to herself:</p> + +<p>"She is getting more and more difficult every day."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_4">Chapter IV</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>TAKEN BY SURPRISE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>GEORGE ADAIR did come to lunch, and took Hope off to golf in the +afternoon. She was polite and distant with him, but he would not take +the hint, and before the afternoon was over had hastened his fate, and +been kindly but decidedly refused.</p> + +<p>"I really did think you liked me," he said ruefully.</p> + +<p>"So I do as a friend, very much," returned Hope, with troubled eyes; +"but we should be unsuited to each other."</p> + +<p>"I will not allow that; we are always meeting each other at the same +functions. I could give you even a gayer time than you are having! What +else do you want?"</p> + +<p>"I want quiet," said Hope, turning upon him with passion in her tones. +"I am fighting against it, but I believe I really want that peace of +heart and mind that preachers talk about. Our lives are all wrong, +George, and I'm realising it more and more every day."</p> + +<p>George Adair was literally struck dumb by this aspect of things. He +departed very quietly, and Hope went home to break the news to her aunt.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney was bitterly disappointed; but she had been prepared the +day before for the possibility of such a thing, and Hope was unusually +tender and attentive to her in consequence.</p> + +<p>"If only marriage was not such an irrevocable thing, I would accept +George to please you, aunt; but it wouldn't be to please myself, and +disaster would be sure to follow."</p> + +<p>"I think we had better return to town," said Mrs. Daubeney. "I feel +much better, and it really is very dull here. The Chesneys are going to +Norway next week, and the Bacons are going up to town very soon."</p> + +<p>"It is barely a month since we came down."</p> + +<p>"It is quite long enough."</p> + +<p>When once Mrs. Daubeney made up her mind to move, it was soon +accomplished.</p> + +<p>When Mrs. Dane's call was returned, it was to say goodbye, and she was +out when they called.</p> + +<p>"Fate is against my knowing her," thought Hope; and though she tried +hard to go to the evening service at the cathedral again, she could not +manage it. She left Kayminster with keen regret.</p> + +<p>"I wish you would leave me Wistaria Lodge in your will," she said +laughingly to her aunt. "I don't know when I have taken such a fancy to +a house!"</p> + +<p>"It is a dull little hole," said Mrs. Daubeney with impatience. "I +shall tell my agent to let it without delay." And she never mentioned +Kayminster again to her niece.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>One afternoon Hope was at a picture gallery in Bond Street. She was +suddenly accosted by May Fosberry.</p> + +<p>"I did not know you were in town," she said. "Oh, Hope, I want to talk +to you so much."</p> + +<p>May was looking very bright; there was something in the quiet intensity +of her tones that struck Hope.</p> + +<p>"I am full up," she answered, "and must meet Aunt Gertrude at Lady +Burberry's in half an hour's time."</p> + +<p>"Half an hour is better than nothing. Come over here. There is a +delicious little picture in a quiet corner that has been delighting my +soul. And if you come at once, there is a vacant seat opposite it."</p> + +<p>The two girls walked off. May pointed out the picture. It depicted +a severe thunderstorm in the Highlands; frightened cattle were +stampeding and flying for shelter. A blue blaze of forked lightning was +realistically represented. Hope expressed her admiration.</p> + +<p>"These French artists are afraid of nothing!" she exclaimed. "That +lightning is most vivid; I can almost hear the roll of thunder after +it."</p> + +<p>"But you have missed the best point," said May.</p> + +<p>"What is it? The blast of the wind and rain, the terrified cattle? It +is a little masterpiece of its kind."</p> + +<p>"Look at the title in the catalogue."</p> + +<p>Hope turned it up.</p> + +<p>"Security," she read, in a puzzled tone, and then the flash of +enlightenment came to her eyes.</p> + +<p>In the corner of the picture she perceived a tiny bird on its nest. +It was in a cleft of a rock overhanging a slope of the hill, and the +little creature was looking on at the storm with quiet, unruffled eyes. +As Hope gazed, sudden tears dimmed her sight.</p> + +<p>"Oh, May!" she exclaimed, and then she stopped.</p> + +<p>May put her hand gently on her arm.</p> + +<p>"I have got there, Hope, I believe. I wanted to tell you so, and it was +your verse that was the beginning of it."</p> + +<p>"What verse? Oh, the one I heard in the cathedral. Do explain!"</p> + +<p>It was a strange opportunity. Many passersby, seeing two fair heads so +close together, wondered what the confidences might be, but not one of +that fashionably-dressed crowd could have guessed the nature of the +confidence.</p> + +<p>May spoke very directly and simply.</p> + +<p>"You know how miserable I was, Hope. I tried so hard to be good, to +get peace in my heart, but it all seemed so hopeless. I thought when +I got away from Society and went into the slums that I should feel +better, but, oh! it was ten times worse. I saw so much sin and misery +that it sickened me. I was just soaked with the atmosphere of open sin, +and when I left it the sense of sin still remained with me. I got to +loathe our Sunday week-ends and bridge parties—one never-ending round +of pleasure, and contempt of all serious things. And then you said that +verse to me:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin?<br> + The blood of Jesus whispers peace within.'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"I got hold of my Bible that night, and I prayed as I had never prayed +before for light. It came, Hope. I could not quite see the connection +between those two thoughts in that verse, and so I got a concordance +and looked up all the passages that spoke of our Lord's death and His +blood that He shed. And there are some verses in the epistles that +struck me, and one especially made it clear. Are you interested or am I +boring you?"</p> + +<p>"Very interested," was the quick reply.</p> + +<p>"It was about our Lord. First it spoke about us having 'redemption +through His blood, even the forgiveness of sins.' And I felt that if I +knew I had God's forgiveness, I should indeed have peace, and then it +said, 'Having made peace through the blood of His cross'—I forget the +exact words, but it said that was how God reconciled us to Himself. And +in a flash it came to me how wonderfully simple and yet how wonderfully +grand it was. And I knelt down and told God I wanted to be reconciled +to Him through the blood of Christ. I can't tell you the joy that came +into my heart when I realised that it had all been done. It was like +walking through an open gate that had been open all the while I had +been struggling to find the way outside it. Am I making it clear to +you?"</p> + +<p>"I think so," said Hope slowly. "And what difference has it made to +you?"</p> + +<p>Lady May was silent for a minute.</p> + +<p>"It is just another life," she said softly. "I am at peace. I feel I am +in God's family, and all my affairs, spiritual and physical, will be +managed and arranged by Him."</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said Hope, with a long-drawn sigh. "You have got beyond and above +me now. I can't follow you."</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> + "'The blood of Jesus whispers peace within—'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Lady May repeated. "Go to Him and ask Him to give you the peace that, +as the verse says, He made through the blood of His cross. Then you +will get it."</p> + +<p>"But," said Hope, "this isn't the whole of religion. What about works?"</p> + +<p>"Oh no, this is only the beginning; but it's a very happy beginning, +and I'm going to learn now, and work, but I'm only just finding out how +little I know."</p> + +<p>The talk was over. Hope's friends had discovered her; but she went home +very silently, pondering deeply over her friend's words.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>And in the ensuing days, which were full of engagements, though Hope +laughed and talked with her friends, and joined in all their pleasures, +at heart she felt that the distance was gradually widening between +them, and when she retired to her room at night, her Bible, like Lady +May's, was generally to be found on her knee.</p> + +<p>She did not grasp the truth so quickly as her friend. There were times +when she longed for some one's help, but as she read her Bible, she +began to see that the centre of the Christian faith was contained in +those two lines she had heard sung in Kayminster Cathedral. And at +last, very feebly, she put out her hand and claimed the promise—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney saw that something was working in her niece's mind. At +first she thought it was regret at having refused George Adair; then, +as the girl's face grew more happy and the anxious furrow between her +eyebrows entirely disappeared, she came to the conclusion that she was +becoming herself again, and gave no further thought to it.</p> + +<p>One afternoon, just as aunt and niece had come in from a shopping +expedition and were having tea with Jim Horrocks, who had returned with +them, there was a sharp ring at the bell, and a few minutes afterwards, +Clark, Mrs. Daubeney's butler, ushered into the room a stranger.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Brian St. Clair."</p> + +<p>Hearing her name, Hope looked up astonished. It was a young fellow of +a different stamp from Mrs. Daubeney's usual visitors. He was dressed +in a rough flannel suit, and looked weather-beaten and worn. He held +himself well, and was tall and broadly built, with a look that an +open-air life indelibly stamps upon a man. His hair was dark and a +trifle curly, he had Hope's eyes without their softness, and his voice, +when he spoke, had rather a quick, curt ring in it.</p> + +<p>"I am sure you didn't expect to see me," he said, addressing Mrs. +Daubeney; "but we only landed early this morning, and are staying at +the Portland Hotel. I came round to see if Hope was here; my father +wants to see her."</p> + +<p>Hope started forward, her face aglow with excitement and interest.</p> + +<p>"Are you my brother? I remember you a small boy in frocks! We never +knew that you were coming over? How many of you are there? And how is +father?"</p> + +<p>"Not very well. He has been a different man since the carriage +accident. There are only Jerry and Toby—they were wild to come with me, +but I left them in charge. Can you come back with me?"</p> + +<p>"And pray," said Mrs. Daubeney, with stiff disapproval, "what is your +father going to do with himself in England?"</p> + +<p>"Get well, I hope," said Brian, looking his aunt in the face steadily.</p> + +<p>"What is the matter with him?"</p> + +<p>"That is what we can't make out. He pins his faith to a certain doctor +he used to know years ago, and is going to see him."</p> + +<p>"I suppose he has made his fortune in Canada and is coming home to +spend it?"</p> + +<p>Brian's face was imperturbably grave. "Fortunes are not made so +easily," he said.</p> + +<p>Then Mrs. Daubeney smiled and made Hope pour out some tea for him.</p> + +<p>"I suppose you must be the eldest boy," she said. "How is it that +you have come home with your father? Are you an idle young man with +unlimited time on your hands?"</p> + +<p>"Now, Aunt Gertrude," said Hope brightly; "he has only just arrived in +England; let all these questions wait. Jim, I am sorry that I cannot go +to the Arbuthnots to-night with you, but I must see my father at once."</p> + +<p>Jim thoughtfully rose to go, but Mrs. Daubeney stopped him.</p> + +<p>"Hope is going to leave me, and Captain Larkins and his sister are +coming in to play bridge, so you must stay and make a fourth. Hope, are +you going off at once? I want to speak to you. Jim, you can entertain +Brian for a few minutes."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney left the room, and Hope followed her, feeling a strange +sense of uneasiness and foreboding of evil.</p> + +<p>"Now, Hope, listen to me."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney had seated herself in her small boudoir, and looked at +her niece with determination in her glance.</p> + +<p>"This has taken me very much by surprise. Tell your father that I shall +come to see him to-morrow, if he cannot come to see me; he ought to +have written more definitely about his plans before coming to England. +But remember, I have adopted you, and I am not going to give you up. +He has done without you all these years; he has other children besides +you, and he must turn to them for the help he needs. I shall not, of +course, keep you from seeing your father as often as you like, but he +must understand that my claim upon you comes first. I know your father +better than you do, and you must take a firm hand with him from the +first. Do you understand me?"</p> + +<p>Hope's eyes twinkled with amusement.</p> + +<p>"I am a novice at managing and controlling a parent, aunt! I may fail +in my first attempt."</p> + +<p>"It is no laughing matter, as you would find to your cost if you +forsook me."</p> + +<p>"Oh, don't talk so tragically! Should I be likely to do so after all +your goodness to me?"</p> + +<p>And Hope stooped down to imprint a light kiss on her aunt's forehead, +the only caress that was ever permitted, for Mrs. Daubeney was not a +demonstrative woman.</p> + +<p>Then Hope departed a few minutes later, with her young step-brother.</p> + +<p>"Shall we take a hansom?" she suggested, and when they were in it, she +turned to him very gently.</p> + +<p>"Tell me all you can," she said, "I seem to know so little."</p> + +<p>He drew in his breath a little sharply.</p> + +<p>"He is a wreck, and that's the fact," he said. "A nervous breakdown, +the ship's doctor called it; but I think some injury was done to his +brain when the accident took place. He was unconscious for a week +after, and has never been the same since. It was an awful shock. Poor +little Carrie was the idol of his heart—the only girl, you know. She +was just fourteen, and mother had begged him so hard to leave her +behind. He blames himself for it all, and that hasn't made life easier +to him. He sold up everything and insisted upon coming home; I have had +to come with him, as he wasn't fit to manage himself, and the two kids +are a handful. Of course, I am hoping to go back again."</p> + +<p>"I have not heard from any of you," said Hope, hesitating—"I don't even +know how many of you there are."</p> + +<p>"Five of us now. Jerry and Toby are eight and ten. They are with us. +Father wants them to have some schooling in England. Ralph and Tom are +both doing for themselves in Canada; Ralph is going in for engineering, +and Tom is on a farm."</p> + +<p>"And what do you like doing?"</p> + +<p>"Me? I've been running our farm; but I'm not a good farmer, I prefer +horses."</p> + +<p>"Is father really ill?"</p> + +<p>"You will see for yourself. He suffers a good deal from headache and +sleeplessness."</p> + +<p>The stern gravity of the young fellow impressed Hope. She felt as +he spoke that he knew life as she did not; and she wondered if the +Colonies had the effect of ageing boys before their time.</p> + +<p>When they reached the quiet unpretentious hotel in which her father +was, Hope was again seized with a nervous apprehension of the future.</p> + +<p>Brian took her straight upstairs into a small dingy smoking-room. Her +father and his two younger sons were the only occupants of it. George +St. Clair rose from his chair at his daughter's approach, and Hope +looked up at his tall figure and still handsome face with a certain +amount of admiration.</p> + +<p>He put his hand on her shoulder and surveyed her critically. Hope, in +her turn, noted his sunken eyes and the restless light in them, the +hollows in his cheeks, and the grizzled hair that lay rather untidily +across his forehead. He looked as if he were suffering too much to +care for his outward appearance. But he was the one to break the tense +silence that prevailed between them.</p> + +<p>"And so this is my eldest daughter! A successful product of what money, +education, and fashion can turn out! I should think your aunt is very +well pleased with you, is she not?"</p> + +<p>Hope's heart sank at his tone. She had half-expected some little +expression of affection; and though she had not seen her father for +nearly eighteen years, she could not meet him without some emotion. She +looked up at him rather tenderly, and did not answer his question.</p> + +<p>"I wish I could see you looking better, father. Your return has been +a great surprise to us; Aunt Gertrude says she will come and see you +to-morrow, if you would prefer it to coming round to us yourself."</p> + +<p>"She is no good, Brian!"</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair dropped his hand, and sank back into his chair with +a gesture of disappointment. He went on, without heeding Hope's +astonished eyes.</p> + +<p>"I might have known it! Gertrude would only develop the self-indulgence +and love of ease and luxury that have been the curse of the St. Clairs +for so many generations. Were she to come to us, she would require a +carriage and pair to save her legs, and a maid in attendance to save +her hands, and we should be as badly off as we are at present!"</p> + +<p>Brian looked at Hope uncomfortably.</p> + +<p>"You must not mind father's way of speaking; he is not well. Suffering +makes him irritable. Here are our two small scamps. Jerry and Toby, +come and speak to Hope."</p> + +<p>Two very small, curly-headed boys sprang forward from the corner in +which they had been occupying themselves. They were not over-clean, +for they had a pot of glue with which they were doctoring a couple of +miniature yachts, and their fingers and faces were liberally smeared +with the sticky compound. Hope did not know much about boys, but she +stooped and kissed them, noting as she did so that while Jerry's face +was the essence of sunshine and good-humour, Toby's was solemnity +personified.</p> + +<p>They did not speak, but stared at her in silence.</p> + +<p>Hope turned to Brian somewhat wistfully.</p> + +<p>"Tell me what I can do for you. What are your plans?"</p> + +<p>Her father answered her quickly.</p> + +<p>"Plans are frustrated sometimes. I hoped that you might fill the gap +for us, and not let us feel the blank—"</p> + +<p>He stopped, then added hurriedly with a short laugh:</p> + +<p>"You would not care to rough it, and just at present money is not too +plentiful with us."</p> + +<p>"It is not that, father," said Hope eagerly. "It is only that Aunt +Gertrude is getting old and is in failing health. She has been like a +mother to me, remember, and I feel now that she really needs me. But—"</p> + +<p>"My dear Hope, there is no need for any excuses. I have not asked you +to leave her, nor have I asked you to make your home with us. Brian, I +think I shall turn into bed. I'm extraordinarily tired. Give me your +shoulder, boy. I shall be losing the use of my legs pretty soon, I +fear. What time am I to go to Dr. Pierrepoint to-morrow?"</p> + +<p>"Eleven sharp. I'll bring your dinner up to your room."</p> + +<p>"I want no more food to-day. Well, Hope child, tell your aunt she must +come round here to-morrow, if she wants to see me. Good-night; you're a +thorough St. Clair, every inch of you! And you were such a scrap of a +thing when you left us!"</p> + +<p>He gave a quick sigh, and left the room, leaning heavily on his son's +arm.</p> + +<p>Hope's eyes were misty. Though she had not come to offer her services, +the indifference of her father towards her cut her like a knife. She +began to feel the pathos of the situation. Two men and two boys, +without a woman to care for them or look after them; and she gazed at +her small brothers in deepest perplexity, and then she put her hand on +Toby's shoulder.</p> + +<p>"Be friends with me," she said, "I belong to you. Tell me about +yourselves."</p> + +<p>Toby looked at her stolidly through long black eyelashes.</p> + +<p>"Brian is too snorky!" he remarked. "Jerry and I can manage ourselves +right enough. Always have!"</p> + +<p>"What is it to be 'snorky'!" Hope asked, amused.</p> + +<p>Jerry gave a little chuckle.</p> + +<p>"It's one of our words. We have a lot you wouldn't understand. I say, +are you going off? Because do just let Toby and me come with you. We +want to see round a bit, and if Brian is going to keep us in a hen-coop +all our time, we'll soon let him know it!"</p> + +<p>"Why do you call him Toby?" Hope asked.</p> + +<p>"Isn't he like him? He's every bit as sober to look at! Oh, here's old +Brian again!"</p> + +<p>Jerry backed into his corner, and Hope began to think her visit had +been long enough.</p> + +<p>"You have a lot on your hands, Brian," she said, "so I won't keep you. +I shall see you to-morrow, and we can talk over plans better, after we +know what the doctor thinks."</p> + +<p>Brian accompanied her downstairs, and put her into a hansom. Then he +leant across from the pavement and said earnestly:</p> + +<p>"Don't think that father doesn't feel, but he's always irritable and +depressed now, and his head is one perpetual ache. He had got it into +his head that you might come and mother the little chaps a bit. They +want it, but he understands how you feel, and we shall get on all +right. My idea is to go down to the country as soon as possible, where +we can live cheaply and quietly, and I'll get a billet close at hand, +so that I can look after things!"</p> + +<p>"We'll talk it over together," said Hope brightly.</p> + +<p>But when she was left to herself, she felt perplexed and bewildered at +the conflicting duties which lay before her.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_5">Chapter V</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>CONFLICTING DUTIES</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"I NEVER saw a man so altered!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney had just returned from her visit to her brother, and was +addressing Hope.</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope gravely, "but he is ill. Brian has been telling me +that the doctor fears that there is some pressure on the brain. He says +the only chance is for him to have perfect rest and quiet, and freedom +from all anxiety. And Brian told him that he would see he got it. I +like that boy, aunt; I'm sure he's got real grit in him."</p> + +<p>"Well, my dear, George and I had it out about you. He is quite willing +that you should stay on with me, and I have settled to go to Homburg +next week. That cousin of mine, whom I mentioned to you, will be there +with her daughter—my god-daughter, you know—and she is very anxious +that I should make her acquaintance."</p> + +<p>"This is a sudden move, aunt."</p> + +<p>"I am tired of town. I know it is early for Homburg, but it can't be +helped."</p> + +<p>"But," said Hope, with a little hesitation in her voice, "I have +promised Brian to help him all I can in settling somewhere. I really +must see a little of my father. Couldn't you wait a week or two longer +in town?"</p> + +<p>"I am not going to wait a day later than I said. I have offered your +father my house in Kayminster till he can look round. It is empty, and +he may just as well have the use of it."</p> + +<p>"Oh," cried Hope, "that will be delightful for them!"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Mrs. Daubeney, with a virtuous smile, "they will be +most comfortable and happy there, and the small boys can go to the +grammar-school. I believe the expense is very little. Now that your +family is provided for, my dear, you must give me your time for the +next few days, for I must get some garments for Homburg, and I think +you had better too."</p> + +<p>Hope gave a little sigh.</p> + +<p>"These endless clothes! How I wish we could do without them!"</p> + +<p>The week sped away, and Hope did not see much of her father or +brothers. Twice she called at their hotel and found the boys out, +and her father not well enough to see her. She took Jerry and Toby +to the Zoo and to the Crystal Palace, and persuaded Brian to drive +out to Richmond with her one afternoon. He was singularly silent and +uncommunicative, and instinctively Hope felt that he did not approve +of her. She tried to tell him that she was very tired of her life, but +he did not encourage her confidence, and she realised that to him she +must appear a very self-indulgent idle pleasure-seeker. When she once +said something about her aunt's dislike to go about alone, he said with +intolerance of youth:</p> + +<p>"I should think an old lady of her age would be only too glad to be +quiet. I can't conceive how she can find pleasure in it, unless it is +to see you enjoy yourself!"</p> + +<p>And Hope then subsided entirely. The day before she left for Homburg, +she went round to the hotel and wished them all goodbye.</p> + +<p>"I shall come down to Kayminster, father, and see you directly I +return. I do hope the quiet, country air will do you good."</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair hardly replied to her. Jerry called out:</p> + +<p>"You'd much better come with us now. I'm sure we want some one to look +after us, don't we, dad? And Toby and me mean to get away from Brian's +clutches as soon as ever we can!"</p> + +<p>Just before leaving, Hope put an envelope into Brian's hands.</p> + +<p>"It's a trifle for father's comforts. Don't tell him, but use it as you +want it; and do write to me if things don't go straight."</p> + +<p>When Brian opened it after she had gone, he found a cheque for fifty +pounds.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>As Hope was speeding down to Dover in the train with her aunt, she +abandoned herself to gloomy anticipations of the future.</p> + +<p>"I am so tired, so disgusted with it all. I would so much rather +be helping Brian to keep house in Kayminster. I don't believe Aunt +Gertrude would miss me for a time. And yet father does not want me. +And I am so helpless, I feel quite lost without a maid to look after +my things. How I wish I knew what to do. I suppose I must wait till we +return to town again!"</p> + +<p>Jim Horrocks, who always took upon himself to see them off on any of +their journeys, was talking in an animated way to Mrs. Daubeney. As his +eyes noted Hope's troubled face, and he heard her sigh for the third or +fourth time, he turned to her.</p> + +<p>"What on earth is the matter with you, Hope? You are gazing out of the +window as if your last hour had come!"</p> + +<p>Hope looked at him half-gravely, half-humorously.</p> + +<p>"I am just wishing I could turn into a cow," she said. "I always wish +I were one when I am in a train; they look so deliciously restful in +their shady fields. Just think of the quiet meditation they can have. +No one harries them—"</p> + +<p>"Except the flies."</p> + +<p>"That is a very trivial annoyance. They must feel they are of use to +mankind, so that their lives are not entirely empty ones; they are not +lonely, for they have their companions, and yet they are not bothered +by them. I think I would rather be a cow than any other creature on +earth!"</p> + +<p>"My dear Hope, what extraordinary things you say!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney looked quite scandalised, but Jim laughed delightedly.</p> + +<p>"We'll cow it together one day, Hope. I'll take you out for a day's +fishing; that's the nearest situation to your ideal one, I fancy! What +subject are you taking for your meditations, may I ask?"</p> + +<p>"Conflicting duties," said Hope audaciously. "You know where I ought to +be, Jim, and Aunt Gertrude knows too. That is why she hurried me away +so quickly, before I had time to formulate my convictions. Aunt, dear, +I wish you would imagine that I am going out to Homburg to get married."</p> + +<p>"I wish you were," said Mrs. Daubeney.</p> + +<p>"Do you really? Then what would you do?"</p> + +<p>"I should be delighted to see you settled," said Mrs. Daubeney, +innocent of the trap that was being laid for her. "And in that case I +should take my god-daughter about with me. Her mother is not at all +well off, and wants me to chaperon her."</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said Hope, with a little nod across at Jim. "Mow I see daylight!"</p> + +<p>"Are you meditating matrimony?" asked Jim. "I'm sure you couldn't do +better than to take me."</p> + +<p>"Don't resurrect dead bones! No; if my convictions grow too strong for +my peace of mind, I shall elope by myself back to England one day, and +Aunt Gertrude will solace herself with Eva. You can't say I haven't +warned you of the possibility."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney looked at her niece rather sleepily.</p> + +<p>"Lord Hawthorne is at Homburg, so is Captain Calthorpe. Lord Hawthorne +is an estimable young man."</p> + +<p>Her eyelids drooped.</p> + +<p>Hope looked at Jim with mischief in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"Dear aunt! May those two names figure in her dreams and bring her +visions of wedding-bells and orange blossoms!"</p> + +<p>"Look here, Hope, what are you going to do?"</p> + +<p>"I don't honestly know, Jim."</p> + +<p>Hope's twinkling mirth died away. It was what made her attractive to so +many—her sudden changes from grave to gay, and her endless varieties of +moods.</p> + +<p>"I know what I would like to do," she said softly, so as not to disturb +Mrs. Daubeney's nap. "I would like to retire to the country with my +father and brothers and make myself useful to them. I am tired of this +kind of life, Jim. If Aunt Gertrude would be happy without me, I should +leave her without a qualm!"</p> + +<p>"You would die of the dismals if you buried yourself in the country," +said Jim decidedly.</p> + +<p>"No, indeed, I should not; but they don't want me. That is the +bitterest part; they think I shall be more trouble than I'm worth. I +have other interests now, Jim; I have told you so before. And I want +to do something with my life; I have wasted so much time that I don't +want to waste any more. I am sure I could relieve Brian of some of the +strain he is feeling. You rather took to him, did you not?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I thought he was an awfully good sort."</p> + +<p>"Then will you go down to them at Kayminster and say a word for me? +Tell them that I could make them comfortable. Say I don't mind roughing +it. I can light a fire, Jim—you know I did it at that picnic we had +last summer, and I washed up the dishes afterwards, did I not? I'm not +absolutely useless. Tell them all you can about my useful qualities and +then write and let me know the result. Will you do this for me?"</p> + +<p>Hope lifted soft pleading eyes to the young man's face, and he hastily +promised he would do his best for her.</p> + +<p>But as he waved his farewell to her on the steamer, he said grimly to +himself:</p> + +<p>"She would not face poverty with me. Why should she court it now by +going to them? She is not cut out for a working-woman."</p> + +<p>The weeks that followed at Homburg were not enjoyable to Hope. She +found it increasingly difficult to get any quiet time to herself, and +things that she formerly had done as a matter of course now grated on +her feelings.</p> + +<p>Her Sundays were miserable; and at last she decided to speak out to +her aunt and tell her of the change she felt in her heart. She did it +in much trepidation one Sunday night after she had refused to make a +fourth at bridge. Mrs. Daubeney was vexed, and came to Hope's bedroom +between twelve and one o'clock at night to remonstrate with her.</p> + +<p>"Now, Aunt Gertrude, I will make a clean breast of it," said Hope, +drawing forward an easy chair and making her aunt sit in it.</p> + +<p>Then she sat down on the rug beside her, and, laying her head against +her knee, took her hand caressingly in hers.</p> + +<p>"I don't want you to think me priggish or uncharitable or hypocritical, +but I'm beginning to look at things quite differently now. It was +Canon FitzRoy's sermons. I do wish you had heard them, aunt. You would +have felt just as I did, I know you would. Anyhow, they made me pretty +miserable until I found out from the Bible how I could be happy. +I think it's not seeing what religion really is that makes one so +indifferent to it—"</p> + +<p>"Come, come," said Mrs. Daubeney restlessly, "don't begin to preach to +me, Hope. Say what you want and have done with it."</p> + +<p>"Then it is this. I want to spend my Sundays in a manner that will +please God. I want to put His pleasure before my own, and I am going +to knock off all week-day pursuits, bridge first and foremost amongst +them."</p> + +<p>"You are crazy!"</p> + +<p>"I don't think I am. I don't feel so."</p> + +<p>"I begin to think," said Mrs. Daubeney slowly, "that you are commencing +a series of small annoyances with an object in view. I am not dense by +nature, and I know what a hankering you have to be with your father. Do +you think that by making yourself disagreeable I shall be more likely +to let you go? I am determined that you shall not, for your own sake as +well as theirs. I intend to keep you with me, Hope, until you marry, +and if you attempt to leave me before that day arrives, you will leave +me penniless, for I shall stop your allowance immediately, and then +where would you be?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Aunt Gertrude, don't be angry with me!"</p> + +<p>Hope felt startled and dismayed at her aunt's determined accents.</p> + +<p>"You must not give me credit for such underhand motives," the girl +continued, with distress in her eyes. "You know how I love you and how +grateful I am for all you have done for me. But I know, and you say +yourself, that if I married to-morrow, you would be perfectly happy. +Why should you not let me pay my father a visit? Eva would take my +place, and you would not miss me much. Still, all this has nothing to +do with the case in point. I cannot play bridge on Sunday. I am quite +determined in my own mind that it is wrong for me to do it. I don't +judge any one else. I seem to see everything so differently now. Please +let me go my own way as quietly as possible. I don't want to interfere +with any one else. And, oh, Aunt Gertrude, if you only knew what peace +I have in my heart, you would not grudge it to me! I have been so +miserable, and I am so happy now! I wish you could understand about it."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney patted her shoulder caressingly.</p> + +<p>"There, my dear, keep your religious convictions to yourself. It is not +good taste to talk about them. And wait to offer your services to your +father till he requires them. He does not want you at present, he told +me so. I must go to bed; I am quite sleepy. I know these new emotions +of yours will pass, so I am going to take no notice of them."</p> + +<p>She kissed the girl kindly. It always cost Mrs. Daubeney a good deal to +speak harshly to any one. She had deemed it best to show her niece that +she was not to be trifled with, and having done so, she was not going +to refer to the matter again.</p> + +<p>Hope returned her aunt's kiss warmly, but she spent a sleepless night. +The words of her young step-brother rang in her ears:</p> + +<p>"Father had got it into his head that you might come and mother the +little chaps a bit."</p> + +<p>And she realised that her aunt was not given to consider others' needs +before her own. Then she prayed for guidance, and met her aunt the next +day with a cheerful smiling face, for she felt sure that her way would +be made clear to her.</p> + +<p>About three weeks after she had arrived at Homburg, Hope got her first +letter from Kayminster, and it was not from either Brian or her father, +but from the small boys.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAR HOPE,—This letter is from me and Jerry, but I'm writing it +because Jerry blots so. We'd like you to know that things are going +bad. The school is rotten, and Brian won't let us stay to dinner, and +the stuff this Anne gives us is simply filth, and Brian is away most of +the day and doesn't know the rottenness of it. And Brian is a shocking +mender. We're ashamed of our stockings. Dad sits up and slangs all +round. We think you ought to come and tidy the house a bit, like mother +did; there's no one here to keep Anne in order, and she's too cheeky, +and I caught her drinking dad's soup.<br> +<br> + "England is no good at all, and Jerry and I wish we were back in +Canada. We have no horses, or cows, nor poultry, nor even a dog, and +what are fellows to do out of school-time? The only fun is walking on +the top of the walls round the neighbours' gardens, and Jerry cut his +head when he tumbled, and Anne screamed, and dad scolded, and I had to +stop the bleeding with Brian's handkerchiefs. We'll expect you five +days from this. Two for this letter to get to you, one day to pack, and +two days to get here. Jerry and me will meet the train next Thursday. +We think you'll come, and we've told Anne you will. It has made her sit +up. She wants a mistress. Your affectionate brothers,—<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 11em;">"JERRY and TOBY."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope laughed and sighed over this letter, then took it straight to her +aunt, saying:</p> + +<p>"I am going to run away from you. This shows how I am wanted. You will +be quite happy here looking after Eva, and she will look after you. And +I'm sure you won't miss me. It doesn't matter about money. I shall have +to earn something if I can. Oh, Aunt Gertrude, dear Aunt Gertrude, let +me go! I feel torn in two!"</p> + +<p>For an hour Mrs. Daubeney scolded, reasoned, and pleaded with her, then +suddenly relented and told her she would let her go.</p> + +<p>"I believe the discomfort of it all will drive you back to me. I will +allow you one hundred pounds a year—no more. You will not be going out +into Society, so that will be sufficient to clothe you. And I shall +adopt Eva for the time; her mother is only too willing."</p> + +<p>"I would rather have no allowance from you when I am away from you," +said Hope.</p> + +<p>"Nonsense, you can't afford to be proud. You are my niece, and I know +your father too well to let you be dependent on him for every penny +that you need. Say no more about it. If I did not think he is fast +breaking up, I would not let you go to him. As it is, I feel it will be +only for a short time."</p> + +<p>Hope was only too thankful to part on friendly terms with her. She made +her preparations quickly, and wrote to her father telling him that he +might expect her. But when the last minute came and she was wishing her +aunt goodbye, she broke down.</p> + +<p>"I'm glad I'm going," she said, struggling to restrain her tears; "but +I feel like a bird leaving the nest. You have mothered me for so long, +and been so good to me, that I shall feel perfectly forlorn without +you!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney's eyes were misty, but she controlled her feelings.</p> + +<p>"You ought to have married sooner—you are throwing away your chances. +Never mind, you will soon get tired of it and come back to me!"</p> + +<p>With this prophecy in her ears, Hope journeyed back to England.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_6">Chapter VI</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A BUSY DAY</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>HOPE was very tired when she reached Kayminster. She arrived at +the station about four o'clock in the afternoon, and was a little +disappointed to find no one there to meet her. She had not heard from +her father since she had written saying she was coming to him, and she +began to wonder if he would welcome her gladly or not.</p> + +<p>She drove to the house in a fly, and the door was opened by a rough, +good-natured looking girl.</p> + +<p>"Yes, miss," she said, in reply to Hope's inquiry for her father, +"we're all expectin' of you, and Mr. St. Clair keeps askin' if you've +come. You'll find him in the droring-room, miss. He uses that mostly. +Mister Brian, he bade me look after you and tell you he couldn't be +back afore seven."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image005" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image005"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image005.jpg" alt="image005"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"MR. ST. CLAIR KEEPS ASKIN' IF YOU'VE COME."</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Hope made no reply to this volubility, but pushed open the drawing-room +door, and found her father smoking in an easy chair.</p> + +<p>He rose and held out his hand.</p> + +<p>"Here you are, then? Have you had a good journey? I'm afraid it's a +great mistake your leaving your aunt, but time will show. I'm sure we +want some help in running this house, for any one more incompetent than +this stupid creature we have at present I never beheld. Her cooking is +enough to put any one off his food. Why don't they bring up English +working-girls to cook? A colonist's daughter would be ashamed if she +couldn't bake bread and pickle pork and meat. This girl makes a hash of +everything she tries!"</p> + +<p>Hope sat down and took off her gloves.</p> + +<p>"Where are the boys?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"At school. Would you like a cup of tea? I don't drink it. We don't +have our evening meal till seven. Well, how is your aunt?"</p> + +<p>"Very well. She sent her love. You are not looking very grand, father."</p> + +<p>"It's this town. I never could stand town from the time I was a boy. +And I shall never get my sleep again till I'm in the open country."</p> + +<p>"We found this house very quiet when we were in it. I remember I +thought Kayminster such a peaceful little place after London."</p> + +<p>Hope's eyes strayed round the room as she talked. Dust lay thick on +ledges and corners, a pair of boy's boots was under one chair, a boy's +cap on the piano, books and papers were strewn about untidily; the +room had a dingy uncared-for look, as different from the quaint little +dainty place that she remembered as black from white. Her father caught +her glance.</p> + +<p>"Yes," he said humorously, "we shall shock your fine artistic feelings; +but for your own sake, my girl, put your shoulder to the wheel, and +don't criticise, but reform."</p> + +<p>Then Hope laughed out.</p> + +<p>"I will, father; I shall make mistakes, but you must try not to be hard +upon me. I have come with the intention of making you comfortable, and +however hard I have to work, I am determined to succeed."</p> + +<p>The door opened and Anne appeared with a beaming face. On a tray with a +soiled table-napkin she brought a cup of tea and some bread and butter.</p> + +<p>"I knewed you would like a cup o' tea," she remarked; "my missus at my +last place always had it."</p> + +<p>Hope thanked her with a smile. The tea helped to fortify her for her +tour through the house. It all looked very untidy and dirty, and when +she got to her own room, the very same she had had when she was there +before, she locked her door, and sitting down, gave way to tears.</p> + +<p>To her, the contrast from her aunt's luxuriously and well-appointed +house struck her forcibly. And a deep depression for the time seemed +to overcloud her spirits. Her father treated her so very indifferently +that she wondered if she would ever learn to know and understand him. +She doubted her own capabilities for housekeeping on such a small +scale; and then she took herself to task for being so faint-hearted. +A little later, a loud whoop and shout and a scamper of feet up the +stairs told her of the advent of her small brothers. Then came a thump +on her door.</p> + +<p>"Hope, let us in! What are you doing—unpacking?"</p> + +<p>She opened the door and kissed the boys affectionately.</p> + +<p>"I have turned up, you see!"</p> + +<p>"Time enough too!" cried Jerry, dancing round her. "And Toby and me +don't mean to let you go again. We like you, we do, and we don't think +you a bit stuck up!"</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Hope, laughing; then she glanced at her closed trunks +in dismay. She only now realised what the absence of a maid meant.</p> + +<p>"Can you boys undo those straps for me?"</p> + +<p>They were down on their knees directly, cuffing each other in their +anxiety to prove their respective dexterity and smartness.</p> + +<p>"Shall we unpack for you?" asked Toby gravely.</p> + +<p>Hope shuddered as she looked at their hands, and thought of all her +pretty muslins and delicate silks.</p> + +<p>"No, thank you. I will unpack, myself. Find a chair and talk to me."</p> + +<p>"Oh, it's awful in England!" ejaculated Toby. "There's no riding, +nothing but lessons in stuffy rotten rooms, and fellows who are muffs, +and like spending their money in sweet-shops. I say, can you make +cakes? Anne can't; she makes sticky dough as tough as boots, and burns +it always!"</p> + +<p>"And will you get dad to give us pocket-money?"</p> + +<p>Hope forgot her woes listening to the grievances and wants of these two +youngsters.</p> + +<p>When she met her father again, there was brightness in her glance.</p> + +<p>The evening meal was not appetising. "'Igh tea," Anne called it.</p> + +<p>A dish of greasy burnt chops, rancid butter, stewed tea, and a large +rice-pudding adorned the table, but the arrival of Brian, armed with a +basket of strawberries, improved the aspect. The grip of Brian's hand +and the pleased look in his eyes were like a ray of sunshine to Hope. +She exerted herself to talk, and Mr. St. Clair seemed to lose a little +of his irritability and gloom.</p> + +<p>Afterwards, Brian shut his small brothers into the study with their +evening preparation, coaxed his father out into the garden, into a +hammock-chair, and then, armed with a watering-pot, proceeded to +refresh the dry and thirsty flowers. Hope insisted upon helping him, +and as they worked together, they talked.</p> + +<p>"What are you doing now?" Hope asked him.</p> + +<p>Brian gave a short little laugh.</p> + +<p>"Well, I'm earning an honest livelihood; not a very grand billet, but +better than nothing, and I can't stand loafing round. I've never been +accustomed to it. Don't ask too many questions about it. I wanted to +get on a farm. As it is, I'm helping with some horses, which I like +better, and I can sleep at home. What do you think of the garden? Looks +rather forlorn, doesn't it? I try and do a bit of weeding when I come +home, but it wants one always at it this time of year. We haven't the +money for a gardener."</p> + +<p>"Is—is father very badly off, Brian?" asked Hope hesitatingly.</p> + +<p>"Well, you see, he hasn't saved. His private income would be just +enough to keep himself in comfort, but the two boys want schooling. +I'm thankful now I'm off his hands. I'm able to pay for my keep. It's +a pretty tight fit, I can tell you. I think this house is a mistake. +We want a cottage in the country where living is cheap, but then again +it's a question of the boys' schooling. We can't afford to send them +anywhere as boarders."</p> + +<p>"You don't pay rent for this!"</p> + +<p>"I wish we did. I hate favours!"</p> + +<p>Brian's tone was sharp and short.</p> + +<p>Hope was silent, then she said:</p> + +<p>"What does father do all day?"</p> + +<p>"He worries round. Now you're here, you can amuse him. If you could +get him out fishing, it would do him a world of good. He sits in the +house and mopes. It is so utterly unlike him, for he has always gone in +for such an active life. He won't do anything alone. If I was home and +took him about, he'd be a lot brighter. I'm hoping great things from +you. You see, there's been no one to run the house. And our maid, as +you see, is a rough-and-ready sort, and not over-clean. Perhaps you can +lick her into shape. She isn't a bad sort, and puts up with father's +scoldings, but she is not as good a cook as Toby is. I was cook for the +first week, and our meals were a sight more appetising, I can tell you!"</p> + +<p>Hope laughed, and he laughed with her.</p> + +<p>"I'm a good colonist," he said; "I can turn my hand to most things."</p> + +<p>"I wish you would teach me to be useful," said Hope; "I'm afraid I +shall be terribly awkward."</p> + +<p>He glanced at her white dress, a garment of delicate "crêpe de chine" +and costly lace, and shook his head with a little smile.</p> + +<p>"You'll have to change your style of dress the first thing," he said.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I mean to. I have plain linen gowns for morning wear, and I shall +buy some aprons. I mean to work, so you must encourage and not laugh at +me!"</p> + +<p>After a pause, she asked:</p> + +<p>"Do you know any of the people round here? There are some very nice +families living outside Kayminster."</p> + +<p>"Thank goodness we don't! And I devoutly hope you won't be bringing any +of your fashionable acquaintances about the place."</p> + +<p>"Why not? I'm sure you would like the Chesneys. You are not going to +live like hermits, Brian?"</p> + +<p>"With father in his present state, it's essential to keep him quiet," +said Brian sternly. "He hates company, and he shan't be inflicted with +it."</p> + +<p>"But may I not know my friends?"</p> + +<p>He shrugged his shoulders.</p> + +<p>"Keep them away from father, and don't bring them to the house."</p> + +<p>Hope looked perplexed and dismayed. But she judged it wise to say no +more. She wondered to herself if Brian intended to rule her life and +take every bit of pleasant intercourse away from her. And then, looking +at his stern young face, she smiled.</p> + +<p>"He is only a boy," she said to herself, "made old before his time. I +shall go my own way in spite of him."</p> + +<p>She went over to her father's chair, and sitting down by him, chatted +brightly on various topics. Mr. St. Clair at first was inclined to be +satirical, but Hope's persistent brightness soon interested him. She +was delighted to find that, in spite of his rough colonial life, her +father was a man of culture, who loved books; and he in his turn was +surprised to find that his daughter's head was not exclusively filled +with clothes and gaiety.</p> + +<p>When Hope laid her head on her pillow that night, she was bravely +resolved not only to make the best of her altered circumstances, but to +improve them by any means that lay in her power, and she fell asleep +with the cathedral chimes sounding in her ear.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next day proved to be a very long and perplexing one to her.</p> + +<p>She was called early by Anne, who informed her that the breakfast-hour +was at eight o'clock, and when Hope, after a hasty toilette, descended +the stairs, she met with calamity number one. Jerry, in pushing roughly +against Anne, had made her drop a kettle of boiling water over him. +Happily it was only his right arm that was badly scalded, but he was +frantic with the pain, and refused to let any one see the extent of +his hurt. Hope was at her wits' end. She managed to pull off his coat, +but it was Anne who was equal to the occasion. She quickly went out to +the kitchen, and in a minute had made a poultice of dough, which she +clapped on the boy's arm in a peremptory fashion.</p> + +<p>Toby looked on with great concern, then his eyes began to twinkle.</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid we shall both have to take a holiday," he said; "you'll +want me to look after you, Jerry, won't you?"</p> + +<p>Jerry paused in his wry contortions of face to consider this aspect of +affairs.</p> + +<p>"I'm burnt to the bone," he cried, "and I hate you all fussing round +me."</p> + +<p>"There's master's bell," said Anne, "and I've got no hot water, and +he'll be wanting of his breakfast, and I knows as how everything will +all go wrong the 'ole livelong day now."</p> + +<p>She dashed off to the kitchen with the empty kettle, leaving pools of +water on the dining-room carpet. Hope went out to the kitchen to get +a cloth, and for the first time in her life went down on her knees to +wipe up the water. Then she established Jerry in an armchair and made +him as comfortable as she could, after which she insisted upon Toby's +coming to the table and having his breakfast.</p> + +<p>"Of course you must go to school," she said, "and explain to your +master what has happened, and why Jerry is at home. Does father always +have his breakfast in his room?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, since he has been ill; and it is fun to hear his bell keep +ringing."</p> + +<p>"And Brian goes off without having any breakfast?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, he gets his where he goes," said Toby; "you needn't never bother +about Brian. We have our breakfast in the kitchen with Anne, but now +you've come, she's brought it in here, and is as flustered as an old +turkey-cock."</p> + +<p>Hope got some fresh hot water from the kitchen, made the tea, and +gave the boys their breakfast, eating very little herself; the thick +half-raw rashers of bacon did not induce hunger.</p> + +<p>When Toby had departed, very reluctantly, for school, Hope went +upstairs to see her father, who promptly handed her several business +letters to answer. He did not seem disturbed at his small son's mishap.</p> + +<p>"They're always doing something to themselves," he said.</p> + +<p>"But had we not better have a doctor?" Hope asked. "It may want +dressing; he seems in great pain."</p> + +<p>Her father smiled.</p> + +<p>"Well, you can dress it, I suppose. How would you like to live a +hundred miles from any doctor, as we do out in the colonies? You soon +learn to do things for yourself there. If you look in my bookcase over +there, you will find a handbook of medicine and surgery, &c. That will +tell you how to treat scalds. But don't you forget to answer those +letters by return of post. They are important. My head is so bad this +morning, I can't write a stroke. I've made the attempt and failed."</p> + +<p>So Hope departed with her medical book and batch of correspondence, to +find Anne waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.</p> + +<p>"If you please, miss, Mr. Brian 'e says to me that you would order the +dinner, and the butcher 'e's waiting for orders."</p> + +<p>Hope went out to the kitchen to inspect the larder and talk over +housekeeping generally. In the middle of it, her father's bell rang +violently, and there was a simultaneous outcry from Jerry in the +dining-room.</p> + +<p>She reached Jerry to find that he had left his armchair, and in +endeavouring to reach, in a left-handed fashion, a fishing-rod of +his father's that was over the mantelpiece, he had brought down two +valuable China vases, and smashed them to atoms in the grate.</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair wanted an alteration made in one of the letters he had +told his daughter to write. Hope went from one to the other feeling +half-dazed. The rest of her morning passed in struggling to unpack her +belongings, keeping Jerry quiet and amused, dusting and tidying the +rooms, and arranging some flowers which she picked from the garden.</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair and Toby both appeared for the one o'clock dinner, and +the former asked her if she could not superintend the cooking a little.</p> + +<p>"Any woman ought to be able to cook," he asserted. "This girl is a +disgrace to her sex."</p> + +<p>"I will try to-morrow and see what I can do," said Hope bravely, but +her heart sank within her.</p> + +<p>The afternoon seemed to bring her endless small duties. She took her +father out by the back gate into the buttercup meadows and along the +river, and both enjoyed the quiet of it. Then she came home, to hear +Toby rampaging through the house, shrieking out for some one to mend a +huge hole which he had torn in his coat, and Jerry crying from pain and +sheer dulness. She called the boys to her, sat down and mended Toby's +jacket, while she told them a story from a humorous book she had in her +travelling-trunk.</p> + +<p>When Brian came back, he found the boys with clean hands and faces, the +table full of bright flowers, and Hope with a very tired but smiling +face.</p> + +<p>She welcomed him with intense relief. He looked at Jerry's arm and knew +exactly what to do with it, and when they sat down to tea, they were a +cheerful little party. But Brian had keen eyes, and he was thoughtful +beyond his years. He realised that his sister needed rest, and he made +her take it out in the garden.</p> + +<p>"Sit still with father and I will garden," he said, and Hope obeyed him.</p> + +<p>Later on, she took counsel with him.</p> + +<p>"I shall get into it, but to-day it seems to have been one long +struggle to get things done, and Anne seems to me to have no method, +and is a shocking cook; don't you think we might change for the better?"</p> + +<p>"I should have thought she could be trained."</p> + +<p>"Well, I will do my best. I suppose with a cookery-book, I ought to be +able to give her some hints."</p> + +<p>That evening when she went to bed, she opened her window and leant out +of it, wondering with vague dismay whether she could possibly continue +such a life. Her back ached, her feet ached, and her head ached, and +she with difficulty suppressed her inclination to tears.</p> + +<p>"I am just like an upper servant," she told herself. "A few more days +like this will make me ill. And father thinks this is the kind of life +for every woman! I think Brian is the only one who shows sympathy."</p> + +<p>Then she took herself to task for her selfishness.</p> + +<p>"I have been spoiled by luxury. It will do me all the good in the +world. I have been wanting to be useful. Now, when I am given the +chance, I grumble!"</p> + +<p>She took out her Bible, and in her evening reading came to the words:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'If I, then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, ye also +ought to wash one another's feet.<br> +<br> + "'For I have given you an example that ye should do as I have done to +you.<br> +<br> + "'Verily, verily, I say unto you: The servant is not greater than his +Lord, neither he that is sent greater than He that sent him.<br> +<br> + "'If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>And in thinking of her Master who stooped to such lowly service +Himself, Hope's eyes glowed, and she began to catch a glimpse of the +glorification of daily drudgery.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_7">Chapter VII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>SETTLING DOWN</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>IT was quite a week before Hope grasped the reins of home government, +and as she feared, she made many mistakes. If she taught Anne a few +lessons in method and cleanliness, Anne taught her some in economy, for +as yet Hope had little idea of the value of money. Mr. St. Clair was +curiously punctilious in all business matters; he told his daughter he +had never been in debt during the whole of his rough colonial life, +and Brian informed her that this trait had made him quite conspicuous +amongst his happy-go-lucky neighbours. He insisted now upon having +weekly books from the tradesmen; and putting aside a certain sum for +housekeeping, would not exceed it by a penny.</p> + +<p>Hope was aghast at the end of her first week to find that she had +exceeded it by a couple of pounds. She promptly supplied the deficit +from her own purse, but determined not to err in like manner again. +Her days were very full. She found her mending-basket never empty. Her +father made great demands on her time and attention, and she was not +sure of half an hour to herself throughout the day. The first Sunday +had been pouring wet, and none of the family had gone to church, but +one afternoon in the following week, she found that she could attend +the cathedral service.</p> + +<p>The stillness and coolness of the atmosphere struck her more forcibly +than ever, but she was able now to join in the service with all her +heart, and her soul was refreshed and strengthened by communion with +One whom she had learnt to love.</p> + +<p>Coming out, Mrs. Dane stopped her, and as she shook hands, there was +something in her firm genial grasp that brought at once a sense of +strength and sympathy.</p> + +<p>"Are you back again?" she asked. "I am so glad to see you. How is your +aunt?"</p> + +<p>"She is not with me," said Hope, adding impulsively. "May I walk a part +of the way home with you?"</p> + +<p>In a few minutes, she made Mrs. Dane aware of her altered +circumstances. She touched lightly upon them, but the elder woman +looked upon her with quickened interest as she talked.</p> + +<p>"Do you remember saying to me that you wanted to turn from a butterfly +into a bee?" she asked presently.</p> + +<p>"Yes. I was in a kind of transition state then, or wanting to be. But +in town I learnt a good deal. I see life so differently now Mrs. Dane."</p> + +<p>The tone more than the words conveyed all that Hope wished her friend +to know; and Mrs. Dane was quick at comprehension.</p> + +<p>"I expect you are having a very uphill time, are you not?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I am. The thing I mind most is that I have so little time to +myself. Quiet seems at an end. And quiet peace is what I have longed +for so much. The thought of the possibility of it quite reconciled me +to leaving all my gaiety."</p> + +<p>"But," said Mrs. Dane thoughtfully, "however busy we are, we can carry +the sense of peace about with us. Do you know that hymn—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, by thronging duties press'd?<br> + To do the will of Jesus, this is rest.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope's face brightened visibly.</p> + +<p>"How strange!" she said. "It was the first verse of that hymn that +haunted me so when I came here in the early spring, and now you have +given me another verse of it."</p> + +<p>"A very beautiful one, as I know from experience. When we realise our +thronging duties are all opportunities for carrying out our Lord's +will, that it is service for Him as well as for our fellow-creatures, +we have rest at once in the midst of them."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Hope; "it will make my days so easy if I remember it."</p> + +<p>She said little more, and they soon came to the corner where they had +to part.</p> + +<p>"May I come and see you?" Mrs. Dane asked.</p> + +<p>Hope hesitated for a moment, remembering Brian's words, and then +replied:</p> + +<p>"Thank you, very much. It will be very kind of you, but if it is one of +my father's bad days, and I am with him, you will understand if I do +not appear."</p> + +<p>"Certainly I will. Shall we waive ceremony, and will you come to tea +with me the first day you can manage it?"</p> + +<p>"I shall be delighted."</p> + +<p>When Hope entered her home, she carried such a radiant face that her +father even remarked upon it.</p> + +<p>"I suppose it is your good health that makes you so happy," he +remarked. "I used to be called at school 'Jolly George.' When I think +of myself in those days, and contrast them with myself now, I can +hardly believe I am the same being!"</p> + +<p>"No, it is something more than health," said Hope, but she could not +tell her father all that she was feeling.</p> + +<p>She only knew as the days went on, that in the midst of many +uncongenial duties, and more real hard work and anxious thought than +she had ever before experienced, she had a deep feeling of peace in her +heart. The realisation that every bit of her day was just carrying out +the will of God for her, brought her more than ease of mind, it brought +her keen enjoyment.</p> + +<p>And soon the household wheels began to run smoothly. Brian, coming +home tired at the end of his day, was conscious of home comforts and +brightness. The flowers about the house, the daintiness of the meals, +and the sparkling personality of Hope herself, all marked a strong +contrast to the struggles and failures of the time before. Hope was +naturally of a buoyant nature, and though at first the irksomeness of +her duties appalled her, when she realised that even cooking appetising +dishes for her father, mending her small brothers' clothes, and dusting +and tidying rooms were all distinctly service to the Master she was +longing to serve, those very duties became a delight to her. She was +not perfect; there were times when impatience and loss of temper gained +the day, but she gradually won the affection of all the household, and +her reign was a happy one.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>One afternoon when her father was lying down with a bad headache, and +did not wish to be disturbed, she went over to call upon Mrs. Dane. She +found her sitting under the trees in her garden, and whilst she worked, +her son Lancelot was reading aloud to her.</p> + +<p>"I am so glad to see you, my dear. We are enjoying an idle hour. Do you +know my son Lancelot? He is with me again for a short time."</p> + +<p>"We have never met, Miss St. Clair, but I feel that I know all about +you," Lancelot said, speaking in fresh keen tones. "I think I may say +I began to know you when you first came into the cathedral that early +spring evening; do you remember?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope, blushing slightly. "I noticed you. I liked your +attention to your mother."</p> + +<p>They laughed. Mrs. Dane put her hand lightly on her son's broad +shoulder.</p> + +<p>"I believe," she said, with a humorous twinkle in her eyes, "that his +attention to his old mother has sometimes prevented his attention to +young people. He is considered a very unsociable being in these parts."</p> + +<p>"I am not a society man," Lancelot responded, drawing a lounge chair +forward for Hope to occupy.</p> + +<p>"Do you know, Miss St. Clair, I fancy I am acquainted with your father. +Was he not in Canada some years ago?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, he has only just returned home," Hope said. "Did you meet him out +there? I thought India was your country."</p> + +<p>"There are not many countries that I have not visited," Lancelot +replied. "I was then secretary to the Premier over there. But I did not +meet your father officially. Ask him if he remembers the buffalo at the +Red River."</p> + +<p>"I will. He is in such bad health now, so different from what he was."</p> + +<p>"Lancelot, will you tell them we will have tea out here?"</p> + +<p>Then, as he moved towards the house, Mrs. Dane turned to her young +guest.</p> + +<p>"My boys are laughed at for their love of home, but I will say in +excuse for Lancelot, that he has been away from me for fifteen long +years, and he will be going out to India again in the autumn."</p> + +<p>"Is he stationed there?" Hope asked.</p> + +<p>"Yes, he has a very good Government appointment in Calcutta. Sir Hugh +Mowbray got it for him. He was his secretary, as he told you, when he +was in Canada. But Lancelot has not had good health lately, and I wish +for many reasons that he was not going back. Well, I will not talk only +of myself and my family. How are you getting on, dear? I have been +thinking a good deal about you lately."</p> + +<p>"Things are going better," said Hope cheerfully. "I am daily finding +out what an ignoramus I am, and am struggling hard with cookery-books +at present. Why do they always leave out the vital point, Mrs. Dane? +They tell you that you are to mix ingredients, but never 'how!' I've +been stirring things with a spoon instead of my fingers, and 'vice +versâ.' But I turned out a delicious pudding yesterday. The only pity +was that the boys ate it up so soon!"</p> + +<p>Her merry laugh rang out as Lancelot returned.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane, remembering the past life that she had been leading, could +only wonder at her quick adaptability to her altered circumstances, and +then conversation took a graver turn. Lancelot began to discuss the +book he had been reading to his mother. It was extracts from some of +the modern thinkers of the day.</p> + +<p>Hope listened with interest. The problem of universal suffering was the +topic, that mystery of the human race which to some souls seems the key +to all that is noblest and best, to others the knell of bitterness and +despair.</p> + +<p>"We have been reading that the laws of compensation are not +sufficiently grasped," said Lancelot, sitting down and fastening his +keen bright eyes on Hope as he spoke. "What do you say, Miss St. Clair? +Do you ever think of these things?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope softly, "sometimes. But I would rather hear your +opinions than give my own. I take life too lightly, I believe. I have +not yet looked much beyond my own immediate circle."</p> + +<p>"It is easy to sit down comfortably and theorise upon such a subject," +said Lancelot gravely. "To a certain extent I know that a capacity +to enjoy as well as to suffer is given to every class and race. The +lower races, we know, are not so highly strung as the more civilised. +They suffer less in consequence, but I think it is encouraging +self-indulgence to wipe out our neighbours' heavy burdens with the +reflection that they do not feel them. What do you say, mother?"</p> + +<p>"I believe if we all shared each other's burdens, as we should, +four-fifths of the misery in the world would be saved."</p> + +<p>"But how can you share them?" asked Hope. "I can't go and live in a +drunkard's home, for instance, and share the misery and anxieties of a +drunkard's wife."</p> + +<p>"No, but you can offer her your sympathy and help, and be as anxious +and earnest about the reformation of her husband as if he belonged to +you," said Mrs. Dane.</p> + +<p>"I have never had anything to do with the poor," said Hope, after a +moment's silence, "and my time is too full now to take a district."</p> + +<p>Then she gave a little laugh.</p> + +<p>"You see that I cannot talk broadly on these things; I narrow them down +to my own experience."</p> + +<p>"Some people think that if they want to help their neighbours, they +must begin with the poor," said Lancelot smiling. "I have found in my +travels that there are quite as many burdens borne by our own class in +life as in any other."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Mrs. Dane, "but how many keep their purses in their +pockets, using that plea, 'Charity begins at home.'"</p> + +<p>They were interrupted here by the arrival of two visitors, Hester and +Minnie Chesney, and Hope was not pleased at the interruption. Minnie +pounced upon her at once.</p> + +<p>"You little wretch! What do you mean by keeping us in ignorance of +your whereabouts? We only heard yesterday that you were in this part +again. We have just come home, you know. Now, you must come to our +tennis-party to-morrow without fail."</p> + +<p>Hope shook her head.</p> + +<p>"I can't, Minnie, thank you. I am not with my aunt now."</p> + +<p>"Aren't you? But what difference does that make? We heard from May +Fosberry that your father had come home and that you were with him."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I am. He is in very bad health, and my time is much occupied at +home."</p> + +<p>"Rubbish! You can come over to Mrs. Dane, and we are only a few miles +farther out. We shall take no excuses. Tell your father you must have +some recreation. Are you at Wistaria Lodge?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, but we are living very economically, and I am cooking and mending +and housekeeping all day long."</p> + +<p>"I don't believe you!"</p> + +<p>Both girls laughed, but Hester regarded Hope with serious eyes.</p> + +<p>"You are looking quite thin," she remarked. "What have you been doing +to yourself?"</p> + +<p>"And, Hope, have you heard May's last fad? She says she is going to +give up society and do something with her life. Don't you hate that +phrase? She's what the Dissenters would call 'converted,' I believe! +Now, Mrs. Dane, don't look at me with shocked eyes. I'm awfully fond of +you, but I'm not fond of your religion."</p> + +<p>"I wish," said Hope, slowly and emphatically, "that I was as good as +May is."</p> + +<p>"May is all right," Hester said abruptly; then she turned to talk to +Lancelot.</p> + +<p>Conversation became general, but Hope soon rose to leave. She +cheerfully but decidedly told Minnie that she could not accept her +invitation, whereupon that young lady declared that she would swoop +down upon her very soon and carry her off by force.</p> + +<p>"And have you not a brother? What is he doing? He is sure to like +tennis, if you don't. You must bring him with you."</p> + +<p>"He is at work."</p> + +<p>"What is he doing?"</p> + +<p>"I really don't know," and as she spoke, Hope hesitated.</p> + +<p>"Something in the City, I expect. That's what most young men say about +here," said Minnie, laughing.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>As she walked home, Hope began to ponder over Brian. She wondered if +he ever wanted relaxation like most young men, or if he were perfectly +content to work all day, and come home at night to attend to the wants +of his household, and soothe and cheer an irritable sick man.</p> + +<p>"I really must make him tell me what he does. He seems so secretive +about it. I wonder if the boys know."</p> + +<p>Strangely enough, that very evening Jerry mentioned his brother to Hope.</p> + +<p>"Toby and me saw Brian in the town to-day. He has a grand time riding +about like a gentleman. I wish father would give us a pony."</p> + +<p>"But," said Hope, "Brian works very hard. He was only in the town on +business, I expect."</p> + +<p>Jerry laughed derisively.</p> + +<p>"Nice business! He was following an awfully smart young woman on +horseback, and enjoying himself, you bet!"</p> + +<p>"Hush!" said Hope. "That isn't the way to speak of Brian."</p> + +<p>But the boy's words surprised her.</p> + +<p>That evening her father retired to bed early. Sitting out with some +work in the garden, she told Brian of her visit to Mrs. Dane's. His +brows contracted sternly when he heard about the Chesneys.</p> + +<p>"You need not include me in any of their parties," he said somewhat +bitterly, "for I am not going near them."</p> + +<p>"Well, I don't think I shall go," said Hope; "I have not time. But, +Brian, I have been thinking about you to-day. I don't think your life +is natural or right. You have told me so little of what you are doing +that I do not know if you are hardworked or not, but I do know that you +never take a holiday, and even on Sunday you are away from us morning +and evening. You ought to have some relaxation in the week. Don't you +feel the need of it?"</p> + +<p>Brian did not answer for a moment; then he said abruptly:</p> + +<p>"Have you come to stay, Hope? Because if you have, I almost think I +could go back to Canada. I don't believe father would miss me. And you +seem to be getting on all right."</p> + +<p>Hope's heart sank within her. She hardly knew herself how much she +leant upon her younger brother for help and advice, but now the thought +of living in Kayminster without him filled her with dismay.</p> + +<p>"I'm glad you think I'm getting on all right," she said with her bright +laugh, "but I hide up a lot of my delinquencies from you, remember! Are +you very anxious to get back to Canada?"</p> + +<p>"I would stay, of course, if father really wanted me, but I'd have a +chance of getting on if I went back. You must remember Canada is more +my home than England—I know the ways of it better."</p> + +<p>"And do you dislike your work here very much? Brian, won't you tell me +what it is? Trust me. I will let it go no further. I know it is honest +work; you have told me so. I imagine it is horse-breeding, is it not, +with some big farmer?"</p> + +<p>Brian gave a short laugh. He was on his knees weeding a flower-bed. Now +he stood up and squared his shoulders, looking at his sister rather +defiantly.</p> + +<p>"It is for your sake that I have said nothing about it. I am not +ashamed of it, but you may be, having your grand friends all round this +part. Would you like me to tell you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope quietly, "I should."</p> + +<p>"Then here it is. I am groom in Lord Cotes's stables."</p> + +<p>For one moment Hope was petrified. She had met Lord Cotes in town, +and though she had not happened to meet him when she had last been in +Kayminster, the Chesneys knew him well, and were often over at the +Hall. He lived about three miles out of Kayminster.</p> + +<p>"Why—why did you not tell me before?" she asked falteringly.</p> + +<p>"Because I did not want to see the look on your face that you have at +this moment. You, need not be afraid. I have left out the 'Saint' in +my name, and he does not associate Brian Clair, the second groom, with +Miss Hope St. Clair, a Society beauty!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Brian, don't be so bitter! I am not—not ashamed—but I'm sorry for +you, that you should be in such a position. What made you do it?"</p> + +<p>"Necessity, and perhaps inclination. I am fond of horses and really +understand them. I got the job, remember, before you came to us."</p> + +<p>"And you want to give it up?"</p> + +<p>"You won't be so loth to let me go now that you know what my billet is!"</p> + +<p>"I don't care what it is!" Hope cried impulsively. "I shall miss you +immensely, but if it is for your good, I will, of course, try to get +on without you. Why, Brian!"—her eyes brightened as she turned them on +him—"I admire you intensely for your pluck and unselfishness. I only +wish I were half as plucky myself!"</p> + +<p>Brian heaved a sigh. He seemed relieved at having made a clean breast +of it.</p> + +<p>"I could not dangle round doing nothing!" he said. "And father does not +know. I don't believe he would mind if he did. But I've been afraid of +being recognised by you when I've been riding about. I know what you +feel. And, of course, I'm making nothing by my job—only just supporting +myself."</p> + +<p>"I don't know about that," said Hope. "You have given me a good bit +towards the housekeeping."</p> + +<p>After further talk, she promised to discuss his leaving for Canada with +her father; but when she was alone in her room that night, her courage +almost failed her.</p> + +<p>Brian did not know the struggle and strain of her daily life. Her +very unfitness for it, owing to her lack of training in economy and +usefulness, made it much more laborious than it need have been. Brian, +returning after the day's work had been done, did not realise how +exhausting it was to both mind and body, and Hope prided herself upon +not enlightening him.</p> + +<p>Yet as she leant out of her window as usual to hear the midnight chimes +of the cathedral, she repeated to herself the verse that was her +comfort through it all:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, by thronging duties press'd?<br> + To do the will of Jesus, this is rest.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_8">Chapter VIII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>HOPE'S CHOICE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"FATHER, do you remember the buffalo at the Red River?"</p> + +<p>Hope was walking the next day with her father through the meadows by +the river's bank when she asked this question.</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair looked at her in astonishment; then gave a short laugh.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I shall not forget it. Who has been talking to you about it?"</p> + +<p>"Mr. Dane. He was secretary to the Premier of Canada some years ago, +and said he met you out there."</p> + +<p>"Lance Dane! I'd no idea he was in these parts. A fine fellow. I owe +him my life."</p> + +<p>"Do tell me about it. He gave me no particulars."</p> + +<p>"I was camping out by myself by the river; there was only one bit of +beach just where I was. On the opposite side were straight cliffs over +a hundred feet in height. And one day a hunted buffalo came right down +upon me, crashing through my tent and awakening me from a midday nap. +I could not get at my rifle in time, and had to fly. He chased me down +to the water's edge. I felt his hot breath on my back, and without a +thought plunged into the river to escape him. He did not attempt to +follow me, but stood on the bank, stamping and bellowing with fury. +And I found pretty soon that I was trapped. I could not swim across, +for I could get no foothold the other side; lower down the river were +rapids, and there was no landing for miles the upper end. So there I +was swimming about, and saw no chance of being released!"</p> + +<p>"How dreadful! I wonder you did not get the cramp!"</p> + +<p>"I was in the water a pretty long time, and then, as I was at the end +of my tether, your friend came on the scene. He had been tracking the +buffalo, and put a bullet into him which finished him. I saw the brute +drop, but I was so exhausted by my long wait that I couldn't get to +shore, so young Dane swam out and towed me in. I should like to see him +again. We camped together for a week after that."</p> + +<p>"He will be glad to come and see you," said Hope confidently.</p> + +<p>She often wished that her father had friends of his own. A few people +had called upon them, but had never been asked inside. Mr. St. Clair +always said he was not well enough to see visitors.</p> + +<p>Then she introduced the topic that was so much in her thoughts.</p> + +<p>"Father, would you miss Brian much if he went back to Canada?"</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair looked genuinely surprised.</p> + +<p>"Has he told you he wants to return?" he asked quickly.</p> + +<p>"He thinks he would get on better out there, and I expect he would, if +we can make up our minds to spare him."</p> + +<p>"The question is," said her father slowly, "are you prepared to look +after the small boys and stay with me, or will you be wanting to return +to your aunt?"</p> + +<p>Hope was silent for a moment. In the quietness of her own room the +night before, she had seen that Brian's emancipation meant her complete +absorption into her father's family. The conflicting claims of aunt +and father clashed together, and she seemed unable to decide which +claim was to come uppermost. She glanced at her father now; she noted +the weary stoop in his shoulders, the nervous, restless hands, and the +worn, faded eyes; his hand was leaning heavily on her arm, and his +steps as faltering and unsteady as a man ten years his senior. Then she +said softly and decidedly:</p> + +<p>"I will stay with you, father, as long as you want me."</p> + +<p>And she realised, as she said it, that she was renouncing a life of +luxury and ease for that of constant anxiety, hard work, and struggle +to make both ends meet.</p> + +<p>"I must write to Aunt Gertrude and explain it to her," was her inward +resolve.</p> + +<p>"If that is the case," said Mr. St. Clair, "we can let Brian go. I +will have a talk with him to-night. He is a good lad, but a trifle +too sedate for his years. When I think of myself at his age, I wonder +at him; but he will be better than his father, who is nothing but a +failure."</p> + +<p>"I won't have you say that," said Hope cheerily. "It is your health +that cripples you now, and we are hoping that that will improve."</p> + +<p>When they returned home, Hope saw a motor standing outside the gate. +Anne met her with a beaming face.</p> + +<p>"A gentleman friend of yours, miss," she said, already scenting out +romance. "He's in the draw'n'-room, please, and his name is Horrocks."</p> + +<p>"It's only Jim, father," said Hope, relief in her tone. "You won't mind +him, I am sure; he's a very nice young fellow, and knows Brian and +likes him."</p> + +<p>"I'll go to my room," her father said irritably; "I don't want your +London visitors here, and won't see them. You can send my supper up to +me. What does he want here?"</p> + +<p>"He has only just called to see me, I expect," said Hope.</p> + +<p>And then she went into the drawing-room, feeling her natural pleasure +at seeing one of her old friends damped by her father's tone.</p> + +<p>Jim Horrocks was seated in her father's easy chair; Jerry and Toby, +home from school, were entertaining him.</p> + +<p>He sprang up as Hope entered.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" he said, as he shook hands with her. "I have been hearing +astonishing histories of your ambitious efforts in the domestic line. +I'm surprised to see you so like yourself. I expected to find you a +Cinderella amongst the cinders."</p> + +<p>Hope looked down at her spotlessly clean linen gown, and then up at him +with a laugh.</p> + +<p>"I'm so glad to see you. You're a bit of such a different life. I hope +you have given me a good character, boys!"</p> + +<p>Toby grinned.</p> + +<p>"We told him what your first cake was like!" he said.</p> + +<p>"He's been asking a million questions about you," asserted Jerry +eagerly, "and some of them we've answered quite truthfully."</p> + +<p>"I wasn't born yesterday, you young ruffian!" said Jim easily. "And I +knew Hope long before you did, so have got the advantage of you."</p> + +<p>"Go and wash your hands and make yourselves tidy for tea," said Hope.</p> + +<p>And as the boys rushed noisily from the room, she turned to meet Jim's +gaze fixed critically upon her.</p> + +<p>"I'm going to be quite frank," he said. "I am a spy, and a willing one. +Your aunt has begged me to look you up and let her know how things are +going with you. And I should say, from my informers' remarks, that you +have been having a pretty rough time."</p> + +<p>"No, not exactly that," replied Hope.</p> + +<p>"Aren't you tired of poverty?" said Jim. "You see I'm pretty outspoken. +Your aunt is soon returning to town, and she wants to find you there to +welcome her."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said Hope, with a quick-drawn breath. "That will never be, I am +afraid."</p> + +<p>"Your father is not exerting his parental authority to keep you here?"</p> + +<p>"No, oh no! I am a free agent, but my place is here, Jim; and for many +reasons, though I'm sorry to leave Aunt Gertrude, I'm not sorry to +leave society."</p> + +<p>"I hate that word 'society,'" said Jim. "What does it mean? You haven't +left society, for you can have that here."</p> + +<p>"My father will see no one; he refuses to see you, Jim."</p> + +<p>"May I say, 'all the better'?"</p> + +<p>The door opened, and Anne appeared.</p> + +<p>"Please, miss, is the gentleman stoppin' to supper?"</p> + +<p>"Of course I am," said Jim promptly, and Anne withdrew giggling.</p> + +<p>Hope laughed out her merry laugh of old.</p> + +<p>"There!" she said. "Now you see our one treasured domestic. Let us come +into the dining-room; you must be longing to have some food if you have +motored from town."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image006" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image006"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image006.jpg" alt="image006"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"HOPE, YOU ARE CHANGED," JIM SAID, SUDDENLY.</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Jim Horrocks made the evening meal a very bright one. But busy as his +tongue was, his eyes were busier. He saw Hope in a new light, and +contrasting her present homely sphere with the brilliant one in town, +he came to the conclusion—man-like—that this was where she shone.</p> + +<p>Hope looked after her small brothers, ran up and down stairs to her +father, then settled the boys to their lessons, and paced round the +garden with Jim.</p> + +<p>"Brian will be late home to-night," she said to him. "I should like you +to wait and see him. He gets so few chances here of talking to any men."</p> + +<p>"Hope, you are changed."</p> + +<p>Jim said this suddenly.</p> + +<p>"Yes," Hope said quietly; "I am, in my interests and aims."</p> + +<p>"What has changed you?"</p> + +<p>"Religion—God, I will rather say. I see life quite differently now from +what I did."</p> + +<p>"Is it a passing phase of sentiment?"</p> + +<p>"I hope not—I know it is not."</p> + +<p>Jim gave a little sigh.</p> + +<p>Hope looked at him.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Jim, I wish you would read your Bible!"</p> + +<p>He gave a little start, then laughed.</p> + +<p>"Are you going to preach?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, if you will listen for five minutes."</p> + +<p>Jim took out his watch and held it in his hand.</p> + +<p>"I'm all attention."</p> + +<p>Hope plunged into the subject which was now so absorbing to her.</p> + +<p>"Canon FitzRoy made me begin to think. Have you begun, Jim? Life is +not given to us to fritter away. We shall be held responsible if we +do. We believe in God, but we don't believe that we belong to Him, +not only because He created us, but because we have been redeemed +from the devil's power by Christ's death on the cross. And when we +understand this, when we give up ourselves to God's service, and look +to Him for guidance and help and strength through our daily life, it +makes everything so different. And it gives one peace. Peace about our +past sins which are forgiven, and our present life, and our future in +the other world. There, Jim, it doesn't take long to tell, but I mean +every word of it, and I'm longing that every one I know should have my +experience."</p> + +<p>Jim Horrocks shook his head slowly at her as she finished speaking.</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry, but your words are perfectly meaningless to me. I've heard +them before, a thousand times, but they convey nothing to my mind."</p> + +<p>Hope's face fell, then she said slowly:</p> + +<p>"You'll never understand till you get a craving for peace. And then +when it comes, it is just like a new life."</p> + +<p>"I never thought," said Jim irrelevantly, "that you would adapt +yourself to this kind of life so easily. Why did you always say that +you could never face poverty?"</p> + +<p>Hope smiled.</p> + +<p>"It isn't half bad," she said. "I'm happy enough, except when I think +about Aunt Gertrude. She has still a big bit of my heart."</p> + +<p>"She is bringing your substitute to town with her."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm so glad. I hope she is a nice girl. That will interest Aunt +Gertrude, I know!"</p> + +<p>Jim did not stay to meet Brian; he said he had to start back for town +early. His visit did Hope good. She wondered after he had gone why she +felt it so much easier to talk to Jim than to Brian, and she wished the +latter was a little less reserved and silent. But this evening, when +she told him of the conversation she had had with her father, Brian +became quite eager and talkative.</p> + +<p>"I have a chance of going back the beginning of next month," he said. +"I know the captain of an emigrant ship, and he said he would give me +a cabin to myself for half-fare. He's an awfully decent chap. You'll +be all right with father, won't you? You see, he's ever so much better +now. Not half so cranky and queer as he was when we first arrived in +England."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I think he is taking more interest in things; he talks of +fishing. I wish he would take up something like that."</p> + +<p>Hope did not let Brian see that her heart sank at the prospect before +her. She felt convinced in her own mind that he was best out in Canada, +and perhaps his present employment furthered his cause. It was only +natural that Hope should feel a great distaste for the position in +which he had put himself. Though she honoured him for being willing to +take service in a place near his father, so that he should not be an +expense to him and at the same time be able to look after him, yet, +girl-like, she dreaded her friends meeting her brother in his guise as +groom.</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair talked over everything with his son that night, and Brian +went to bed for the first time with a hopeful heart. His spirits rose +at once, and for the next few days he seemed like a different being.</p> + +<p>Hope got the following note from Jim Horrocks soon after he had left +her:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAR HOPE,—The spy has reported the land to your good aunt, and +I told her my certain conviction that cart-horses would not drag you +away at present from your 'sphere of usefulness.' Have you not heard +that expression from the lips of 'good' people? You see how apt I am at +catching it from them! Well, if I were your father and brothers rolled +into one, I would stick to you like a burr! And I have told your aunt +so. I also told her I was quite willing to motor down every now and +then and report to her your progress. So expect me to arrive any day!<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">"Yours,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 15.5em;">"JIM."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope sat down on the strength of this epistle and wrote a long letter +to her aunt.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Daubeney was not a good correspondent, so Hope was not +disappointed at hearing very seldom from her, but this time her letter +was answered by return of post.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DEAREST HOPE,—I am returning to town next week. I quite believe all +you say, but Brian has no business to transfer his responsibility to +you, and tell him from me I shall be extremely angry if he goes back +to Canada and leaves you alone. You are not fit to have charge of that +household. We shall be having you ill next. I am glad you have the +consolation of religion to cheer you, but I do not think that I need it +at present. Eva is being much admired, and I am going to take her on a +round of visits in the autumn. We go to the Campbells in Scotland about +the first week in September, and we are going to be in the hands of the +dressmaker whilst we are in town. Give your father my love, and much to +yourself. I am glad he is better in health. Your affectionate aunt,—<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 10em;">"GERTRUDE."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope mused over this letter with a little sadness in her eyes. She had +poured out her heart to her aunt in her last letter, telling her of the +change in her inmost soul, and this was the reply.</p> + +<p>"Aunt Gertrude does not really miss me, and I ought to feel glad that +she does not. It makes it easier for me."</p> + +<p>She repeated this assertion over and over to herself, and went about +her household tasks with her usual serenity.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_9">Chapter IX</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A HOLIDAY</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>ONE afternoon Lancelot Dane came to see her father.</p> + +<p>Hope was sitting out in the garden reading the "Times" to Mr. St. +Clair. She was delighted to see her father welcome his visitor with +more warmth of manner than he had ever shown towards any one before. +And after a few desultory remarks, she got up and left them together.</p> + +<p>Half an hour later, she, assisted by Anne, brought out tea upon the +lawn, and she heard with pleasure her father's hearty laugh as he +talked with Lancelot. When she joined them, the latter turned at once +and included her in the conversation.</p> + +<p>"I am going to take your father fishing to-morrow, Miss St. Clair. +Will you spare him for the day? Did he tell you that we did a week of +camping out together once in Canada?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope; "I have heard how you rescued him from the buffalo. I +am sure fishing will do him good."</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair shook his head doubtfully.</p> + +<p>"I will try it, but it will be an experiment," he said.</p> + +<p>"Will you join us at lunch, Miss St. Clair?" asked Lancelot in his keen +quick tone. "You look as if you want a day out."</p> + +<p>Hope seemed for a minute as if she were going to say yes. Then she +remembered her small brothers.</p> + +<p>"No," she said, stifling a sigh, "I must give the boys their early +dinner and see them off to school."</p> + +<p>"Let them dine alone for once; it will do them good."</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair looked at his daughter thoughtfully.</p> + +<p>"I think the day out would do you good," he said; "you had better come."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps I might. I could trust the boys for once."</p> + +<p>The longing in her eyes touched her father.</p> + +<p>"You young people want diversion sometimes," he said. "I'm afraid you +miss your gaiety now."</p> + +<p>Hope turned away. The extraordinary kindness of her father's tone +brought the tears to her eyes, and she would not let them be seen.</p> + +<p>One quick comprehensive look Lancelot gave her, then he said lightly:</p> + +<p>"Very well, we will consider it settled that you come to look after us, +Miss St. Clair, and I will call here to-morrow at ten o'clock, if that +time will suit."</p> + +<p>"It will be delicious," said Hope impulsively; and she told Brian later +that she was going "to have her day out."</p> + +<p>"I feel like Anne did when she departed last Thursday. She said to me, +'I means to be a lady for the day!'"</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next day was bright and sunny. The boys vowed they would be perfect +saints at dinner-time; and at half-past ten Hope, with a radiant face, +was walking along the buttercup meadows between her father and Lancelot +Dane. She chatted unreservedly to the latter.</p> + +<p>Her father was in one of his silent moods, and when they came to the +river, soon fixed upon his spot and got out his rod. Lancelot sauntered +further on.</p> + +<p>"And now I mustn't speak to either of you till lunch-time," said Hope +to him. "I know what fishermen are like. And I shall be quite as +absorbed in my book that I have brought with me, and my thoughts, as +either of you are with your fish. And I think I shall choose that tree +for my resting-place."</p> + +<p>"Capital! We will have lunch under its shade. You wouldn't like to have +a line yourself? I have a second rod with me."</p> + +<p>"No, thank you. I have never had sufficient practice to be a good +fisherwoman. Besides, I don't like the moment when the fish are +wriggling on the hook. I wish violent deaths were not necessary in the +world. Why should not everything live its allotted time and die of old +age?"</p> + +<p>"It would be more cruel in some cases," said Lancelot promptly. "They +would die of lingering starvation—no teeth or claws to kill their prey, +and no one to attend to their needs."</p> + +<p>"But they need have no prey. Could we not live without preying upon +each other?"</p> + +<p>"We could be vegetarians; but apply that to carnivorous animals, and +I fancy their strength and beauty and intelligence would suffer in +consequence. We can't turn the world into the millennium before its +time, you know."</p> + +<p>"Do you believe in a millennium?"</p> + +<p>"Do not you?"</p> + +<p>"I know so little of these things," said Hope, with a deprecating shake +of her head.</p> + +<p>"So do most of us, but we get the outlines given to us in the Bible."</p> + +<p>"I wish you would tell me some of them. But not now. I shall interrupt +your sport."</p> + +<p>He smiled, and watched her walk away with her easy grace to the old +oak-tree a short distance off. And then he turned to his fishing with a +little contraction of brow.</p> + +<p>Hope, seated under the shady tree, looked out that summer morning upon +the beauties of nature with a keen sense of enjoyment. The murmur of +the river in front of her, with all the wonderful lights and shadows +from the fleeting clouds above, the rich golden sheen of the cornfield +on the slope of the hills, the graceful droop of the willows by the +water's edge, and the green meadows around her with the cows lazily +munching as they moved to and fro, all combined to form a picture that +remained in her memory for years to come. She did not read, but closing +her eyes gave herself up to the bliss of meditation, and the rarity of +such leisure in the morning intensified the delight she felt at it now.</p> + +<p>She was startled at last by her father's voice.</p> + +<p>"What! No lunch? Look at my luck!"</p> + +<p>He opened his basket and showed a handsome trout weighing quite three +pounds, and a few smaller ones besides. Then Lancelot Dane found them, +but he had not been so fortunate. He insisted upon helping Hope to +unpack the luncheon-basket.</p> + +<p>"It is my place to wait on you, not yours to wait on me," he said; "I +have nothing to show for my morning's efforts, so ought to work for my +lunch."</p> + +<p>"I have nothing to show for my morning," said Hope; "for it has only +benefited me. How I have enjoyed it!"</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair had also enjoyed himself. Hope had not seen her father so +bright for a long time.</p> + +<p>"I have heard a London physician say," said Lancelot, when Mr. St. +Clair mentioned his health, "that a few hours spent every day in pure +country air would do more for his patients than tons of medicine and +special diet."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but it is an expensive cure for many," said Mr. St. Clair. "I am +talking of breadwinners, of course. That is why the colonies do so much +for our young fellows. But there comes a time when fresh air will do +nothing for you."</p> + +<p>Gloom settled upon his face again, and Hope turned the conversation +quickly upon the different species of trout.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Luncheon over, Mr. St. Clair, encouraged by his success, went back to +his sport. Lancelot stayed where he was, under the oak-tree, and asked +permission to smoke a pipe.</p> + +<p>Unconsciously Hope began to tell him a good deal about herself; he +invited confidence. And she gave details of her past London life, as +well as her present one. They found they had several mutual friends in +town, and presently Lancelot said:</p> + +<p>"I suppose you have a good many friends, have you not? What do they say +to your sudden disappearance from society?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know that I have very many real friends," Hope said +thoughtfully. "I suppose I could number them on my five fingers. And +time and absence will reduce them. It always does."</p> + +<p>"Are you given to making sudden friendships?"</p> + +<p>"No, I do not think I am. How would you define a friend, Mr. Dane?"</p> + +<p>He was silent. For a moment his eyes rested on her with deep thought, +then he said:</p> + +<p>"A friend is some one who comes into our life to stay there."</p> + +<p>"I suppose so. That is what one would wish."</p> + +<p>"After such a definition, do you think it premature of me to propose +that you and I should become friends?"</p> + +<p>If Hope was a little startled, it was only because Lancelot Dane was +such a different stamp of man from most of her acquaintances. Such a +speech did not seem like him.</p> + +<p>She tried to answer lightly.</p> + +<p>"We are friends already, I think. I cannot regard you as otherwise, +when I know at one time you saved my father's life."</p> + +<p>"Friends for all time?"</p> + +<p>She looked at him, and for an instant their eyes met. In that moment, +with a quick-caught breath, Hope realised that this quiet man, with his +resolute face, was going to dominate her being. It was no idle talk +with him. He seemed to be weighing every word he spoke. Turning her +face away towards the flowing river, she said very gently:</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>Lancelot rose to his feet, and took a few quick turns up and down the +meadow before he spoke again.</p> + +<p>"Will you smile if I tell you something? You remember the first time +you came into the cathedral? We were perfect strangers. I had never +seen you before, but I had an intuition then that I should see you +again, that I should speak to you, that I should know one day the cause +of the trouble that was upon your face—may I say the tears that you +shed in that dark corner of yours?"</p> + +<p>Hope looked up genuinely astonished.</p> + +<p>"How observant you must be! I was very unhappy that afternoon, but it +was a turning-point in my life. And the hymn I heard sung so sweetly +was what helped me and stayed with me. Do you remember it—'Peace, +perfect peace'? I feel it has woven itself into my life. I am living in +the second verse now."</p> + +<p>"It is my mother's favourite hymn. I know it well. I learnt it as a boy +to please her."</p> + +<p>He stood still, looking down upon her, until Hope felt nervous under +his gaze, and rather abruptly suggested that she should join her +father. Lancelot acquiesced, and accompanied her further down the +river. Just before they joined Mr. St. Clair, he said:</p> + +<p>"And now, Miss St. Clair, whilst I am in England I want to claim a +friend's privileges. Will you send for me when your father wants a +cheery chat? If you want help at any time with those youngsters, will +you turn to me? If you have any commissions or messages to friends +in town, will you let me take them? You see, I mean to prove my +genuineness."</p> + +<p>"You are very kind. Are you soon returning to India?"</p> + +<p>"In another six weeks or so. I must tell you that my mother is very +anxious that I should give up my appointment out there. We have a small +property in the North of England which has been let for a number of +years, but the tenant has just died, and things want looking into. Her +great desire is that I should settle there myself, and I know she would +love to return to it, for it is the house in which we boys spent our +childhood and in which my father died. But I feel I am not old enough +yet to retire into such a life of ease. I want to be in the battle of +life, not in a backwater. And my mother's reason and judgment are with +me in this, if her heart is against the Indian life."</p> + +<p>"I suppose it is not a large enough property to employ you there?"</p> + +<p>"Not unless I dismiss our agent; and he has been working for us all his +life, so I could not."</p> + +<p>No more was said. Hope did not leave her father till it was time to +return home, but as they separated, Lancelot took her hand in his.</p> + +<p>"Goodbye, Miss St. Clair. We have made a covenant of friendship to-day, +remember! The future will hold us to it."</p> + +<p>He smiled as he spoke, and Hope found it an effort to respond as +lightly as she wished.</p> + +<p>"A new friend is always welcome," she said, "especially in Kayminster."</p> + +<p>But as she turned into the house, she took herself to task with some +severity for the rapid beating of her heart.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_10">Chapter X</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>HESTER'S BEES</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"YOU will excuse my coming at this hour of the morning, but I am on +my way home from the station, where I have been seeing mother off to +town. And I want you to come back and spend the day with me. I have no +attractions to offer you except my bees. Minnie is in Scotland. Will +you come and keep me company for the day?"</p> + +<p>It was Hester Chesney, who spoke from her high dog-cart, and Hope stood +on the doorstep looking at her with wistful eyes.</p> + +<p>"I can't have too many holidays," she said, with a little laugh. "I +spent a day out fishing, only last Wednesday. I'm afraid I can't come. +I'm helping my brother pack for Canada. He is going the end of this +week."</p> + +<p>"He will spare you for a day. You are looking white and fagged. Ask +him. I want to talk to you."</p> + +<p>If it had been Minnie Chesney, Hope would have found no difficulty +in refusing, for she knew the talk would be of the very lightest +description, but there was something about Hester that always made Hope +want to know her better. She turned back into the house and sought +Brian, who was in the dining-room packing a case of books he wanted to +take with him.</p> + +<p>"Brian, would you mind if I left you to-day? I feel, when you are gone, +I shall be absolutely tied to home, so this will be my last chance. +Miss Chesney wants me to spend the day with her. I shall not stay late. +They will drive me back in time for supper. I won't go if you want me."</p> + +<p>"Oh, go," said Brian, trying to speak graciously. "I'm sure you ought +to get the chance if you want it. I'll be here all day."</p> + +<p>So a short time afterwards Hope was bowling along the country roads in +her friend's high dog-cart.</p> + +<p>"I wonder if you would mind paying a visit with me," Hester said. "I +want to see a Miss Rill, who really started me with my bees. She's an +interesting woman, though only a farmer's daughter, and I think you +will like to see her little place. It is such a pretty one."</p> + +<p>"I shall be delighted. How good it is to get out of the town! Sometimes +I wish we lived in the genuine country. Kayminster is neither country +nor town."</p> + +<p>"You rather interest me," said Hester, in her slow deep voice. "I +have been likening you in my mind to a certain foreign lily we had in +one of our hothouses, and which I was convinced would do better in +the open-air. It was transplanted, and for a time it caused me some +anxiety, for though it fought bravely with its changed circumstances, +we had some unusual storms and it nearly succumbed. After an awful +night of wind and rain, I visited it early in the morning, and to my +supreme satisfaction, though it was very battered, it was raising its +head cheerfully towards the sun."</p> + +<p>There was silence. Hope's lips were smiling, but her eyes were misty. +Then she touched Hester's hand caressingly.</p> + +<p>"Thank you for your little parable. I will remember it."</p> + +<p>"Do you know anything about bees?" Hester said abruptly.</p> + +<p>"No, I'm an absolute ignoramus. Tell me about them."</p> + +<p>Hester plunged into her hobby, which by her very enthusiasm she made +intensely interesting to the town girl beside her.</p> + +<p>And by and by, after a drive of some eight miles, they came to their +destination. Hester turned up a narrow lane from the highroad, then +drove into a field along a rough cart track, and stopped at a white +gate the other side of it. Hope uttered an exclamation of delight. +There was a red-brick flagged path leading up from the gate to a +quaint old-fashioned cottage. On either side of the brick path were +low apple-trees interspersed with clumps of dahlias and summer +chrysanthemums, forming a border up to the old green wooden porch. The +house was of rough stone with a red-tiled roof, now mossy and mellowed +with age. A row of beehives was in front of it, and its walls were +covered with climbing roses.</p> + +<p>Hester left her trap outside, tying her horse to the gatepost, and she +and Hope walked up the little path. To the right and left of them was +a green orchard, and fowls seemed to be in all directions. A row of +fowl-houses and coops ran the whole length of the orchard at the back.</p> + +<p>"It is a small poultry-farm," explained Hester. "Miss Rill is +wonderfully successful with it, and she has worked it entirely herself, +with a farm lad to help. She has made such a success of it that she is +going to retire, and is wanting me to buy the whole concern from her. +I wish I could. I have visions of moving myself and belongings into +it, and having my bees in the orchard. But they're dead against it at +home. She will sell the whole for a mere song. I would like to take up +poultry."</p> + +<p>"What a pity you cannot," said Hope sympathetically. "I should love to +live in a little place like this. It looks a perfect haven of rest. +What a charming old well by the side of the cottage!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, isn't it a picture? And the water is so good. The fact is, Minnie +will not be at home much longer. Her affair with Herbie Aubyn is coming +on again. I shall be the only one left to look after mother, and you +can't fancy her living in an ideal cottage like this!"</p> + +<p>They had reached the door, which stood partly open, and Miss Rill +came out to greet them. She was a little fresh-faced woman, though +her forehead was lined and puckered with many a wrinkle; thick grey +hair rolled back from her forehead, and her eyes were full of the most +remarkable wistfulness. Her skirts were short; a big blue print apron +covered her; but she looked, as Hope remarked afterwards, as if she had +stepped out of a bandbox.</p> + +<p>She shook hands with them, and ushered them into her sitting-room. Hope +looked about her with interested eyes. There was a tiny square space +inside the front door and a steep flight of stairs facing it. To the +right was the sitting-room, a very fair-sized room with low long window +and deep window-seat. I It was plainly furnished. Two old oak cupboards +stood on each side of the fireplace, and a round table in the centre +of the room. A horsehair sofa against the wall, a glass bookcase, two +shelves of china, and a few odd chairs, completed the furniture. But +everything was spotlessly clean and bright.</p> + +<p>Seeing Hope's admiration in her eyes, Miss Rill asked her if she would +like to look over the house. She took her into the kitchen the other +side of the passage, and this was the picture of cosy comfort. A +beautiful old oak dresser, a grandfather clock, and an old oak bureau +were evidently relics of Miss Rill's farmhouse home. There were copper +and brass pans which shone like burnished gold. The deal table was +scoured as white as if it were new. The red-brick floor, with the +coloured rug before the blazing fire, and a row of scarlet geraniums in +the window, gave a tone of brightness and colour to the room.</p> + +<p>"Oh," exclaimed Hope, "this is where I should like to spend my days!"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Miss Rill, with a smile, "it is a nice room to my liking. +But I'm out of doors half my days, and the other half goes in cooking +and cleaning. I have a woman twice a week to help me, and my lad is +useful, but it is a busy life, when all's said and done."</p> + +<p>"You are looking forward to a rest?" said Hester.</p> + +<p>Miss Rill gave a dubious smile.</p> + +<p>"I'm going to enjoy the 'fruit of my labour,'" she said. "Isn't that +Bible words? Now let me show you my dairy, and then my four bedrooms."</p> + +<p>The dairy was perfection in Hope's eyes. The bedrooms, though with +sloping roofs, were wonderfully light and airy. Then the little woman +insisted upon giving them a glass of milk and some of her home-made +cake. Hester and she began to talk about bees, and Hope sat still and +lapsed into daydreams. Presently she caught the word "London."</p> + +<p>"All my life," said Miss Rill, "I've longed to see it. And these five +years gone, I feel as I've been linked with it, so to speak, supplying +it with eggs and poultry and honey. You know, I send straight to the +Army and Navy Stores, Miss Chesney. My brother was one of the foremen +there before he died, and he got me the connection. That's how I've +done so well. Now I'm going to walk in its streets and live like a lady +in it."</p> + +<p>"But," said Hope, "how will you be able to adapt yourself to town life +after this? How can you leave this? You will feel lost there!"</p> + +<p>"Not at all," responded Miss Rill. "I'm an educated woman, and +can appreciate all that London has to give me. I will visit +picture-galleries, and read the latest books, and have a sitting in +Westminster Abbey itself if the sermons there are to my taste."</p> + +<p>Hope tried not to smile.</p> + +<p>"And," Miss Rill continued, with increased earnestness, "there will +be shops, and dressmakers, if I want to be amused; and perhaps a very +choice concert, and a sight of the King and Queen. I've thought it all +out. It's the dream of my life coming true."</p> + +<p>The passionate ring of her tons seemed quite pathetic to Hope.</p> + +<p>Then as Hester took her leave, she accompanied them down to the garden +gate.</p> + +<p>Hester paused there, and looked back at the house.</p> + +<p>"It is the dream of my life to come here," she said. "I wonder if I +ever will? Have you heard of any purchaser yet?"</p> + +<p>"No, not yet. They say it's too far from the station. Smart farmers +laugh at my donkey-cart, but it has been quite sufficient for me. I'm +in a hurry to get it off my hands before the winter comes on. I'd let +it go very cheap, Miss Chesney."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I know."</p> + +<p>Miss Rill looked up her flagged path to her cottage, then she tapped +the bricks gently with her foot.</p> + +<p>"It isn't as if I shall be alone in London," she said softly. "And if I +can be buried in the London cemetery with him, we'll be close together +on the Resurrection Day. You understand, Miss Chesney, don't you?"</p> + +<p>"Indeed I do. But you may meet him alive and well."</p> + +<p>"No, I'm not desirous of doing so. I can explain in the next world. +That will satisfy me."</p> + +<p>Hope was mystified. The soft light in Miss Rill's faded blue eyes +and the hush of her voice transformed her at once from an ordinary +countrywoman into an interesting personality.</p> + +<p>When they were in the dog-cart again, Hope turned to her friend.</p> + +<p>"I scent a romance. Do tell me."</p> + +<p>Hester smiled.</p> + +<p>"Poor little woman! It was only the other day she confided in me, and +having once broken the ice, she now alludes to it whenever we meet each +other. It was many years ago. Quite twenty, I think she told me. A +certain Robert Manners, farming with his father, wanted to marry her, +and she was foolish. She fancied that another man, a country solicitor, +was courting her, and though her heart was with Robert, her ambition +told her that the solicitor would raise her in the social scale. So she +refused the substance for the shadow. The solicitor never proposed to +her, but married some one else; and though Robert remained faithful, +her pride would not let her yield to him.</p> + +<p>"She explained at some length to me that she would not have him think +that she accepted him as a last resource. The poor man was desperately +in love with her. He lived only half a mile away, and spent all his +leisure time in helping her with her poultry. At last, he grew restless +and gave up his farming, going up to London to join an uncle in the +bookselling trade.</p> + +<p>"The last day he was at home, he spent in planning a surprise for her. +She was away at market, and he brought over a load of bricks, and +with his own hands flagged that little path for her. She had often +complained of the mud and wet in winter time. When she came home, she +found it done, and a note on the doorstep with these words only:</p> + +<p>"'When you tread your garden path you will be treading on rejected +love.'</p> + +<p>"The poor thing sobbed as she repeated these words to me. I am sure she +expects to meet him in London, but she won't admit it. Her whole life +lately has been spent in saving for this object."</p> + +<p>"Poor woman! What a pathetic romance! I should not like to tread that +path so often." Hope's eyes filled with tenderness.</p> + +<p>Hester glanced at her and smiled.</p> + +<p>"Ah, well, she has an object in life. No one is really unhappy who has +that."</p> + +<p>"You are a delightful person to talk to, for you give food for +thought," said Hope, in her bright tone. "Is that the reason of so many +people's 'ennui,' I wonder?"</p> + +<p>"Don't you think it is? A life without an object is so pitiful, so +animal, if you understand the expression."</p> + +<p>"I am thinking over all my friends and acquaintances—myself included. +But I have known some very unhappy people who certainly have had an +object in their lives. They have striven for it relentlessly and +untiringly, but it has not made them happy."</p> + +<p>"But it has given or maintained zest for life, has it not? I think +the saddest part of a woman's life is when she sees nothing in front +of her, and can only look back. Then she doesn't care if she lives or +dies."</p> + +<p>Some hidden passion in Hester's tone set Hope wondering. They did +not speak much for the rest of the drive. Hester was a good hostess, +and Hope took herself to task for the enjoyment she felt at being +once again in luxurious surroundings. It seemed so much more natural +to sit down to a dainty luncheon, and then to rest in the soft +cushioned chairs in the pretty drawing-room, and talk of books and +topics of the day, than to be absorbed with Anne's black fingermarks +on dinner-plates, the boys' worn stockings, or upon the butcher's or +baker's weekly books.</p> + +<p>Then Hester took her out to her bees, and here Hope was interested at +once.</p> + +<p>Hester had been allowed to take possession of one of the old walled +kitchen gardens; here in rows against the sunny south wall were her +beehives. She had houses for storing and packing the honey, and the old +garden was filled with borders of flowers.</p> + +<p>"It is such an interesting study to discover the flowers that the bees +love best. They don't always go to those we should think the sweetest +and the most luscious. They are very fond of blue as a colour, and my +mignonette border also is always full of them. You see I have an ideal +spot for them. Clover fields outside, and a wild bit of moor upon which +they find broom and gorse and heather and pines; then they visit our +other kitchen garden for herbs and vegetables. They are fond of turnips +and cabbages, borage and wild thyme."</p> + +<p>"I always fancied bees visited flowers only."</p> + +<p>"Oh no; there are certain trees that they need. The willows by the +river are good for them. Now as the autumn begins, I shall have to +start feeding them. Did you ever notice that most of our autumn flowers +are scentless?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose they are," Hope said, running over in her mind's eye the +tribes of asters, dahlias, and chrysanthemums, with a variety of them +that occurred to her.</p> + +<p>"The time for getting honey is over," said Hester, "so the scent is not +needed."</p> + +<p>"But," said Hope, "I like to think that the sweet-smelling flowers are +for us as well as for the bees."</p> + +<p>Hester laughed.</p> + +<p>"I look at life now from my bees' point of view," she said.</p> + +<p>And then she took Hope into her packinghouses and showed her the cases +of honey that she had taken quite lately from the hives.</p> + +<p>"I send these up to London," she explained. "The sale helps my +expenses."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Hope, as they were leaving the garden, "what a wholesome +sweet life you lead, Hester, amongst your bees and flowers! How +fascinating it must be! And why do so many girls prefer the rush and +stir of town life to the rest and peace of the country?"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Hester slowly, "I don't know how it will look when +the accounts of one's life are jotted up. I shall not rest my head +comfortably for the last time on my pillow remembering the total sum of +my pounds of honey. It would be rather a poor harvest for a lifetime, +would it not?"</p> + +<p>"Hester, do you want what I did?"</p> + +<p>Hope spoke impulsively, adding quickly:</p> + +<p>"Don't stop me,—don't say you don't believe in it!—that it is +sentiment, fanaticism, or fancy. It makes life worth living, it gives +one a deep undercurrent of peace, and opens up such a wide range of +possibilities for a fuller, more abundant life!"</p> + +<p>"You little enthusiast!"</p> + +<p>Hester stopped by the old garden gate in the wall and stood looking at +Hope with a smile upon her face.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I know you think it is enthusiasm. Do let me tell you what a +difference it has made to me. I have no one to talk to at home. I feel +you are sympathetic. I have never forgotten the way you spoke of May +Fosberry. 'She is all right,' you said, and if she is, why shouldn't we +all be like her?"</p> + +<p>"Ah, why?" said Hester, with a twinkle of humour in her eye. "But +May is young, and like you, full of enthusiasm. I have lived longer +in the world, and seen the end of some phases of life as well as the +beginnings."</p> + +<p>"I am certain," said Hope stoutly, "that you have never seen the end of +any one individual. I'm very ignorant and inexperienced, but I know, +like Job, that 'my Redeemer liveth.' It is not a dead Christ we serve, +and He will never fail or come to an end if 'phases,' as you call them, +will. He came to give life more abundantly, Hester, and I know He has +given it to me."</p> + +<p>Hester opened the garden gate.</p> + +<p>"What a pity your brother is going away," she remarked. "Shall I ever +be able to tear you away from your family again?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know. Yes, I shall miss Brian dreadfully. Do you know he is +the first really unselfish young man that I have seen! I am lost in +admiration sometimes. He never seems to think of what he would like or +wish, only what others would."</p> + +<p>"That sort are rare," remarked Hester.</p> + +<p>She kissed Hope upon parting.</p> + +<p>"You would shine in any circle," she said, smiling, "for you can fit +yourself into any kind of corner."</p> + +<p>"But a circle has no corners," said Hope, with her merry laugh. +"Goodbye. You must come and see me next, if you will."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_11">Chapter XI</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>TROUBLE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"IS everything packed, Hope?"</p> + +<p>"I think so. Oh, Brian, what shall I do without you? I'm afraid we +shall all miss you terribly?"</p> + +<p>"You will manage. Father seems ever so much better. He has been quite +humorous to-night. I never knew him talk so much before!"</p> + +<p>"He is excited about your going away. I thought he looked very flushed +at supper-time. Yes, I dare say I shall manage. I ought to be able to. +Will you see Aunt Gertrude in town, Brian?"</p> + +<p>"Can't. I go straight through to the Great Northern. There's no object +in seeing her. She would only begin lamenting about you and your 'lost +chances,' as she described it when I saw her last."</p> + +<p>Hope and Brian were talking together in the drawing-room. He was +leaving early the next morning, and as Hope realised that they might +not see each other for a very long time, she prayed for the courage +she felt she needed. She was standing at the open window, her hand on +a climbing rose outside. Suddenly she turned round and confronted her +brother with grave sweet eyes.</p> + +<p>"Brian, I want to say something to you. You won't be vexed? You are so +silent, so self-contained, that I often wonder what your thoughts are +about. I know you have had very few opportunities of going to church, +but do you ever honestly think about religion in any shape or form?"</p> + +<p>Brian looked at her queerly.</p> + +<p>"Well, I won't say I haven't given it a thought since you came to +live with us, for I believe it is at the bottom of your content. I +rather looked for sulks and tears, when you found you had to forgo all +your luxuries and pleasures. I know you don't give me credit for much +observation, but if I don't say much, I see the more. As far as I make +it out, religion is a very satisfying thing for a woman."</p> + +<p>"And not for a man? Oh, Brian, just think of the first disciples! And +all the men who have fought and suffered for their faith. I do long +that you should realise the reality of having our Lord as your Saviour +and Friend. It would make the difficult and hard things in life so +different, so sweet."</p> + +<p>"Well, I'll think about it."</p> + +<p>Brian half-shrugged his shoulders. He had a genuine admiration for his +sister, and believed in her, but he could not stand much talking. Hope +felt she had said enough.</p> + +<p>"I have slipped a small Bible into your portmanteau," she said softly. +"Will you read it sometimes? You are such a devoted son, such a good +brother, that I can't help thinking what a splendid Christian you would +make."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'll read it," said Brian abruptly. "I think I'll be turning in +now. Good-night!"</p> + +<p>He left the room quickly, and with a little sigh Hope turned out the +lamp and followed him upstairs.</p> + +<p>She was very tired that night, and fell asleep almost directly her head +touched the pillow. But, in the grey dawn of the following morning, she +was suddenly aroused by a voice outside her door.</p> + +<p>"Hope, I want you!"</p> + +<p>It was Brian speaking. In an instant Hope knew from his tone that +something had happened. She slipped on her dressing-gown and opened her +door.</p> + +<p>"Is it father?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. He is unconscious. I heard him fall. I'm afraid it is a kind of +seizure or stroke. Come at once. I must go for the doctor."</p> + +<p>Hope followed him silently and swiftly to her father's room.</p> + +<p>She found that Brian had been able to get him on the low couch at the +foot of his bed, and there he lay, his heavy breathing the only sign of +life about him.</p> + +<p>"The doctor told me in town this was to be expected," said Brian. "I +rather fancy he has had a touch before, just after mother's death. You +can do nothing for him, but just watch him. I won't be long."</p> + +<p>He disappeared from the room, and Hope sat down by the side of the +couch wondering if it were some dreadful nightmare from which she would +soon awake. The dawn deepened into broad daylight, and the sun began +to creep in, and the twittering of the birds increased outside, before +Brian returned.</p> + +<p>The doctor understood at a glance what had happened. He sent Hope away +with the words:</p> + +<p>"It is a slight seizure, Miss St. Clair; your brother and I will get +him into bed. We shall bring him round again; do not be afraid."</p> + +<p>She went back to her room and dressed herself hastily. Then she called +Anne, told her what had happened, and ordered her to get hot water +ready as soon as possible, in case it might be wanted.</p> + +<p>Anne was voluble with dismay and importance.</p> + +<p>"'Tis a stroke, miss, a parrytic seizure; my uncle lay two months, and +couldn't use his hands, nor his feet, nor nothin'! I knows all the +symtims, and the master will be long before he can be better, an' if +Mr. Brian is away, you and me will have our hands full, I can tell you!"</p> + +<p>Hope's heart sank, for she realised the truth of Anne's words. When the +doctor did come to her, his news was not very reassuring.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image007" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image007"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image007.jpg" alt="image007"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"YOU CAN DO NOTHING FOR HIM,</b><br> +<b>BUT JUST WATCH HIM."</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"This may be a long business, Miss St. Clair. You will need a nurse. +Shall I send one in? I shall come in again this afternoon to see if +there is any sign of consciousness. Perhaps you and your brother would +like to talk it over. He says he is not going to leave your father +to-day."</p> + +<p>"But," said Hope, with bewildered eyes, "he was sailing for America +this evening from Liverpool."</p> + +<p>"Was he? I fancy that trip will have to be postponed."</p> + +<p>The doctor took his departure. For a moment Hope felt quite dazed, then +hearing the boys' voices and the thud of their feet as they ran in and +out of the bathroom, she went up to them and broke the news.</p> + +<p>They took it calmly. Their father had lately been the one member of +their household who spoilt their fun, and enforced the quiet that was +so irksome to them.</p> + +<p>Jerry pulled a long face.</p> + +<p>"Poor dad! Will he die?"</p> + +<p>"Oh no," Toby assured him quickly; "he'll be all right soon. If he's +unconscious, he won't hear any noise, that's a comfort!"</p> + +<p>"You must make no noise," said Hope gravely.</p> + +<p>Then she left them and went downstairs and began her usual morning +duties.</p> + +<p>It was a very long day. Brian never left his father's room, except to +come outside and send a telegram to his friend, the captain of the +vessel in which he had hoped to sail.</p> + +<p>"I can't go," he said shortly to Hope, and she experienced the first +sense of relief at his words.</p> + +<p>When the doctor came in the afternoon there was little change in Mr. +St. Clair's state, but Brian negatived the idea of having a nurse.</p> + +<p>"I am home, and I can nurse him," he said shortly. "He never could bear +women fussing round him."</p> + +<p>"Your father is in good hands," the doctor assured Hope before leaving. +"Your brother is wonderfully handy in a sick-room."</p> + +<p>"He is handy anywhere," responded Hope. "Can you give me any hope about +my father?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes, every hope; but he may be a long time recovering. One side is +entirely paralysed at present. I hope he may regain consciousness and +speech in a few days."</p> + +<p>But weeks passed before Mr. St. Clair's condition improved. He was +helplessly bedridden, and when all danger was over, Hope and Brian put +their heads together as to ways and means. The illness had been an +expensive one. If Mrs. Daubeney had not sent Hope a cheque for twenty +pounds, they would not have been able to keep out of debt.</p> + +<p>From the first day, Brian had not uttered one word of complaint or +regret for the relinquishment of his intentions. He waited on his +father with ready cheerfulness and patience, and was seldom absent +from the sick-room. When Mr. St. Clair was convalescent, and when he +realised that his father would require an attendant always with him, +that he would not be able to raise himself from his couch, or even +convey food to his lips, he told Hope, with a set smile and a quiet +voice, that he would be that attendant.</p> + +<p>"He can't afford a nurse, and you could not be with him always. I must +stay with him."</p> + +<p>"Then, Brian, if you cannot earn money, I must."</p> + +<p>Hope spoke resolutely, but the flash in Brian's eyes at her suggestion +showed her that hidden fires were beneath his calm exterior.</p> + +<p>"I don't intend to be an idler," Brian said hotly.</p> + +<p>"What are your plans?"</p> + +<p>"I hardly know. We must leave this house and get a cottage in the +country, if we can. The doctor advises it. The cathedral chimes are +having an irritating effect on father's nerves. If we could find a +small place not too far away from here, it would be easy. We could live +twice as cheaply; and there would be a chance of getting something out +of the soil, perhaps."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope eagerly; "and I would be able to help you. Why, could +we not live as the country people do? Couldn't we grow vegetables and +flowers for market? Oh—I have it! It is an inspiration!"</p> + +<p>She was silent for a moment, then said more slowly:</p> + +<p>"It is capital that we want. I wonder if Aunt Gertrude would help us? +I know of a sweet cottage and small poultry-farm. Hester Chesney took +me to it the other day, and the owner would sell it very cheap, the +goodwill—isn't that the expression?—included. For she has a contract in +town with the Stores, to supply them with poultry and eggs."</p> + +<p>She told her brother all the particulars she could remember. After +the darkness of their outlook, this seemed like a flash of light and +brightness. Brian listened and approved; but shook his head at the +amount of capital necessary.</p> + +<p>"It sounds all right," he said cautiously; "it would be easy work for +us. I know a good bit about poultry; and you and I together could look +after father and work the place. There are the boys to be considered. +I really don't know what to do with them; but the great difficulty is +money."</p> + +<p>"I will write to Aunt Gertrude at once. She must help us. She is our +nearest relation."</p> + +<p>Hope went off at once, and wrote her letter.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>But a week passed, and she received no answer.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile she had sent Brian one day to see Miss Rill, and he came back +with light in his eyes.</p> + +<p>"It will do," he said, "if we can buy it outright from her as it +stands. And I'll tell you rather a curious thing. I went over to look +at the church, and met the Vicar wandering round. He is badly off, +it appears, and would willingly take the boys as day-pupils for very +little. So that difficulty would be solved."</p> + +<p>"Oh, if we only could go there!" sighed Hope. She saw herself in the +quaint cottage, tending the fowls and flowers, and her longing after a +country life increased.</p> + +<p>The very next morning, as she sat at breakfast, a letter arrived for +her. Hope took it and read it through with dazed eyes again and again +before she could realise the truth. It was from her aunt's godchild, +Eva.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "DEAR MISS ST. CLAIR,—I feel you ought to be one of the first to hear +the sad news. Mrs. Daubeney died suddenly in her sleep last night. The +doctor has just told us that it was failure of her heart's action. I +dare say you knew that her heart was not strong. My mother has come +to me. It has been a great shock. Please excuse haste. I think Mrs. +Daubeney was going to write to you, but I don't know what about. She +was always talking about you, and I am sure that you, with me, will +feel her loss.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 10em;">"Yours very sincerely,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 18.5em;">"EVA."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope was quite stunned by this news. She told Brian of it very quietly, +performed her usual housekeeping duties, and then went upstairs to her +own room, and with locked door sat down by her window to think it out.</p> + +<p>She had taken the trouble of her father's illness very calmly, but +this seemed to be overwhelming. Mrs. Daubeney had been like a mother +to her. And Hope's heart was with her, though perhaps not with her +environments. She had always, though unaware of it, considered that +Mrs. Daubeney's home was hers to return to, when her father should +need her no longer. Her present life was one of probation. Whatever +happened, and however many misfortunes might fall upon her, she had her +aunt to whom she could turn, and the half-conscious conviction of this +had always been her solace.</p> + +<p>Now the very foundation under her feet seemed to have slipped away, and +with the despairing feeling of insecurity and loneliness, came real +grief at the loss of one she loved.</p> + +<p>She bowed her head in her hands and wept passionately.</p> + +<p>"It is so sudden. I can't believe it. Shall I never be able to take +up my old life with her again? Is it all over? I shall have no one to +advise me, to care for me! She was the only one. I am an outsider still +to my father and brothers. Aunt Gertrude did love me. We had lived so +long together, and oh, how I loved her, how I have missed her! I can't +believe I shall never see, never speak to her again! Why has life +become so clouded for me? It seems one trouble after another. I feel as +if I cannot bear them!"</p> + +<p>It was a dark hour, but Hope was not left without comfort. And He who +is always ready to heal where He wounds, drew near and spoke to her +soul.</p> + +<p>Brian was very good to her, and was quite ready to spare her when she +said she would like to go up to town.</p> + +<p>"I shall manage very well. It is quite impossible for me to attend her +funeral, or I would. Are we her nearest relations?" Hope replied slowly.</p> + +<p>"I believe we are. But, Brian, I must tell you that Aunt Gertrude would +never make her will, though she often talked about it. I can't bear +thinking of her money now she is gone, but you must remember it came to +her through her husband, and by his will after her death it goes to his +only nephew, who is somewhere abroad. I know that, for she told me so."</p> + +<p>"I wish she had been able to help us about this small poultry-farm," +said Brian rather gloomily. "It seems such a chance!"</p> + +<p>Hope was absent for a week. She returned home pale and sad. Brian had +been hoping against hope that Mrs. Daubeney had at least left her +sister some small sum of money. He had no affection for his aunt, so +her death did not affect him as it did Hope. To Hope the time in London +had been inexpressibly sad. She had seen some of her old friends, and +Jim Horrocks had looked after her like a brother, and had tried to +comfort her in his own fashion; but all the accounts of her aunt's last +days from Mrs. Daubeney's old maid, and the associations of her house +and belongings, had weighed heavily upon her spirits.</p> + +<p>As she returned to Kayminster in a third-class railway carriage, the +girl felt that she had finished now with all ease and comfort in life. +Mrs. Daubeney had died, as she feared, without a will. Her house and +furniture were to be sold, and the only legacy Hope received was some +valuable pearls that bore her name upon the case. As she leant back +in her seat, she tried to realise what it would mean. She would have +no allowance in the future, but would be absolutely dependent on her +father for every penny she would have to spend.</p> + +<p>"I shall have to earn my living," was her inmost thought. And that was +followed by another—"How can I be spared? In either case, there is a +life of toil before me."</p> + +<p>As she put her foot down on Kayminster platform, a voice startled her.</p> + +<p>"Good afternoon, Miss St. Clair. May I ask how your father is?"</p> + +<p>It was Lancelot Dane. She turned to him, trying to hide her depression; +but the look with which Lancelot met her glance brought the tears to +her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I am in trouble," she said confusedly. "My aunt has died suddenly, and +I have been to her funeral. Father is about the same."</p> + +<p>"I am so sorry for you. We saw the announcement of Mrs. Daubeney's +death. I am afraid it must have been a shock to you!"</p> + +<p>"I don't think anything will shock me again," said Hope wearily. "There +is nothing that could."</p> + +<p>He walked by her side after she had given directions for her small +portmanteau to be sent to the house. Then he said presently:</p> + +<p>"This summer has been a hard one for you."</p> + +<p>"It has all come at once, and I hardly know where I am."</p> + +<p>"But however deep the waters are, you are not left to tread through +them alone."</p> + +<p>Hope flashed a look at him.</p> + +<p>"Oh!" she said. "If I could only remember that! If this had happened a +year ago, where should I have been!"</p> + +<p>The strained look on her face passed away. Lancelot was silent for a +moment, then he murmured almost under his breath:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, with sorrows surging round?<br> + On Jesu's bosom nought but calm is found.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope drew a long breath, but not one word did she say.</p> + +<p>He left her at Wistaria Lodge, but the grasp of his hand made her blood +tingle; and though she parted from him in silence, she felt as she went +into the house that his few words had been all that she needed.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_12">Chapter XII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THE NEW HOME</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>THE next morning she and Brian held a serious consultation together. +Brian had been bitterly disappointed that all Mrs. Daubeney's money +would pass to her husband's nephew. Looking at his sister's sweet +unruffled face, he felt a sudden impatience against her rise within him.</p> + +<p>"She has no conception of what it will mean to us," he thought; "she +does not know the value of money, for she has always had more than +enough for her needs. I hate her complacent composure!"</p> + +<p>"I suppose you realise," he said a little roughly, "that this illness +of father's is draining our resources to the utmost. If I can't leave +him, how are we to live? Your allowance will be stopped; we shall be +worse off than ever!"</p> + +<p>Hope winced, and Brian, meeting the pained look in her eyes, was +ashamed of himself.</p> + +<p>"I know," she said; "I lay awake last night thinking of it; but I +will not be a burden to you, Brian; I am sure I shall be able to earn +something!"</p> + +<p>"As if I could let you, a girl, be the breadwinner!" he said scornfully.</p> + +<p>"Brian, don't let us meet this trouble bitterly and angrily. The loss +of dear Aunt Gertrude is far more to me than the loss of her money; +but I know she could not be the same to you as she was to me, and I +understand your side. I asked the lawyer if we ought to move out of +this house at once. I believe it would be best for us to do so, though +he said there was no immediate hurry; and I will tell you what I did. +I took my pearls to Aunt Gertrude's jeweller, and he has promised to +take them from me; he thought he would be able to give me three hundred +pounds for them. He is absolutely trustworthy, and after having them +tested, he will let me know definitely.</p> + +<p>"Now I have been thinking that this will cover the sum Miss Rill asked +for her little cottage. Don't you think we could venture on taking it? +I promise you I will do my very best to help you there; and if we can +have the help of a woman once or twice a week, I think I could manage +to do without a servant. The place is so tiny that it will not be +nearly so much trouble as a house of this size. What do you think?"</p> + +<p>Brian was walking up and down the dining-room with his hands in his +pockets, and his brows knit in thought. He looked up when Hope finished +speaking, and with a little shake of his shoulders, tried to smile.</p> + +<p>"You make me feel a brute!" he said frankly. "But I own we all seemed +in a fair way of going under. I hate the idea of taking your legacy, +but if you are determined to stick to us, it's the only thing to be +done. I believe I could make that place pay, and look after father into +the bargain. Now I must go back to him. It's no good to fight with +fate. Yours is the best plan, to accept it calmly, and make the best of +it."</p> + +<p>But Brian little knew what a conflict had been going on in his sister's +soul, and how it was only through the words of her favourite hymn that +she had remembered and tested the source of her present peace and +quietness of mind.</p> + +<p>They were not long in making their plans. Hope received the cheque from +the jeweller within the next few days; Brian went out and transacted +the necessary business with Miss Rill, and before the end of the month +they were packing up.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>One afternoon Hope was in her bedroom turning out the contents of +her wardrobe. As her pretty evening-dresses came to light, the white +satin slippers, fans, lace-handkerchiefs, soiled white kid gloves, +and all the many requisites of a young girl in society, she felt as +if her youth had entirely slipped away, and a dull, sordid middle age +commenced.</p> + +<p>"I shall never want them again. I shall never be in a position to +require them. That bit of life has gone for ever, and I ought to feel +glad that it is so. It never really satisfied me."</p> + +<p>Then the light came into her tired eyes.</p> + +<p>"Life is worth living, though it be in a cottage. I am still young and +strong and able to help others. Perhaps, after all, I am only just +beginning my true real life, the one that God meant me to live when He +made me?"</p> + +<p>This thought cheered her, and stayed with her; and she folded her silks +and satins away with a light heart, wondering as she did so how she +could turn them to the best account. In the midst of it, Anne came up +to her to say that Mrs. Dane had called to see her.</p> + +<p>Hope ran downstairs. When she entered the drawing-room, Mrs. Dane drew +her towards her, and gave her a kiss.</p> + +<p>"I am so sorry, dear, that I have not been able to come before. I have +only just come home from town, where I have been staying with a sister +of mine for the last month. I could only write and offer my sympathy, +and now I find we are going to lose you. Where are you going?"</p> + +<p>"Only as far as King's Dell. Isn't it a pretty name? It's right in the +country, I'm glad to say, about five miles from the Chesneys. It was +Hester who showed the place to me; she wanted it for herself, but she +is delighted that we have got it."</p> + +<p>"And are you pleased?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I truly am. And father likes the idea of it. Oh, Mrs. Dane, it +is so pitiful to see him! He lies quite helpless; Brian waits upon him +hand and foot, and of course I do what I can to share the nursing."</p> + +<p>"You have no nurse?"</p> + +<p>"We can't afford one, and nobody will understand that. I don't mind +telling you, for you seem such an old friend already, but the death of +our aunt leaves us much poorer, and Brian is not able to go to Canada."</p> + +<p>"You are having a lot of trouble."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane regarded the young girl very tenderly. She looked too dainty +and frail for the stress of life, and though her cheeks were flushed +and eyes bright, it was hardly a healthy animation. She noted the tired +lines round her eyes, and the delicacy of her skin.</p> + +<p>"Yes, it seems nothing but trouble, and yet now we see daylight. I am +thankful we are going to leave this house; it is too big for us."</p> + +<p>"You take your maid with you?"</p> + +<p>"No, she wants to come, but just at present we can't manage it. We have +discovered a woman at a neighbouring cottage. She says she will be able +to come in for a couple of hours every morning, and I shall manage +quite well. I am looking forward to it. I feel I can do anything with +Brian at hand to help me. You don't know how useful he is in a house."</p> + +<p>"My dear child, it will be too much for you. What sized house is it?"</p> + +<p>Hope gave her particulars, and Mrs. Dane listened for the most part in +silence. Then she asked about her aunt's illness, and Hope broke down a +little when talking about her.</p> + +<p>"It is my first real loss. I can't tell you how I loved her, though we +were beginning to get different interests. And I always hoped I should +go back to her one day."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Mrs. Dane, after some further talk, "I must not pity you +too much, but try to cheer you. And I think with you that life will be +much easier and simpler in a labourer's cottage. Such an opportunity +is not given to every one as it is given to you, of proving yourself +superior to your circumstances. You will find, dear, that you will have +all needed strength and wisdom supplied. God's children never lack, if +they look up."</p> + +<p>But as she walked home, Mrs. Dane felt Hope's bright and undaunted +courage was almost beyond her own attainment.</p> + +<p>"I am filled with astonishment," she confided to Lancelot that evening. +"She is the last girl I should have given credit for such grit. Not +one murmur, not a foreboding! I believe if she were cast homeless and +penniless into the streets, she would set cheerfully to work to sell +matches or flowers, and take it all as a matter of course. She fulfils +her name."</p> + +<p>"Less strength than spirit," remarked Lancelot. "That old aunt of hers +who brought her up must have been very thoughtless and selfish. It is +hard lines on a girl."</p> + +<p>"I wish we could do something to soften her lot, but it is very +difficult."</p> + +<p>Lancelot did not respond.</p> + +<p>But the day Hope and her family moved to King's Dell, he appeared, and +took entire charge of the sick man, sending an invalid carriage for +him, and accompanying him to the little cottage.</p> + +<p>It was fortunately a bright warm day. Brian had arranged that the +downstairs sitting-room should be made into his father's bedroom, and +one of the four upstair rooms was given to Hope as her sitting-room. +The kitchen was to be the general living-room.</p> + +<p>Hope delighted in it all; the sweet surroundings of her new home seemed +to fall as balm upon her sorrowing spirit. When Mr. St. Clair was +safely settled in a comfortable bed, Hope's last anxiety disappeared. +Very white and tired she looked as she spoke her thanks to Lancelot for +his ready help, but her eyes were shining with content.</p> + +<p>"Don't thank me," he said. "It is in our covenant of friendship that we +should help each other. Do you know what I am longing to do now?"</p> + +<p>"No."</p> + +<p>"To compel you to sit in that easy chair, and let me get you a cup of +tea. I say tea, for I believe it is a panacea for women's weariness. My +stay in India has unfitted me for seeing ladies toil so. My stay in the +colonies before I went there has taught me how to be useful. May I do +it?"</p> + +<p>He spoke so eagerly, yet so wistfully, that Hope hesitated. Her +hesitation gave him the opportunity at once. He drew forward the only +easy chair in the kitchen, and Hope found herself in it, with a cushion +at her back, before she could remonstrate.</p> + +<p>"I forbid you to move," he said. "Direct me if you like. I see the +kettle is boiling. Shall I find the tea in that cupboard? Ah, here it +is! Now for the teapot! I see it, and I shall forage in the larder for +the bread and butter. Sit still and see a man make tea. I assure you it +will be a success."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image008" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image008"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image008.jpg" alt="image008"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"SIT STILL AND SEE A MAN MAKE TEA."</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Hope obeyed him. A strange sense of rest and security filled her +heart whilst he was by her. She had been working very hard all day. +The little house was in good order. Brian was settling things in his +father's room; the boys were still at school, and were to come out in +a farmer's trap an hour later. She felt she could with justice enjoy a +quiet half-hour, and work the better for it afterwards.</p> + +<p>As she sat in her chair, she could look out of the half-open door down +the flagged brick path with the borders of dahlias and Michaelmas +daisies on either side. The sun was getting low, and its golden rays +shot across the old mossy trunks of the apple-trees in the orchard +beyond. A blackbird was singing its evening song, and the lowing of +some cows in a neighbouring field proclaimed the fact that it was +milking-time.</p> + +<p>Hope drew a long breath, and wondered if it were a dream. Her thoughts +went back to a year ago, and she felt as if this past summer had been a +lifetime. With the past came recollections of her aunt, and the shadows +gathered in her eyes and left their impress on her face.</p> + +<p>When Lancelot came into the room from the dairy, and glanced at her, +he saw that rest and quiet thought were proving more painful than +incessant action, and a longing seized him to take her into his arms +and shield her for ever from care and pain. He was a quiet unemotional +man upon the surface, but, when his feelings were deeply stirred, his +self-control had hard work in suppressing his passion. From the moment +he had seen Hope walk into the cathedral that spring evening, in all +her fresh daintiness and grace, his heart had been taken captive.</p> + +<p>He would not acknowledge it at first. He had seen many fair women in +the East, he had noted many eyes brighten at his approach, and cheeks +flush with self-conscious pleasure in his presence; and without undue +self-esteem, he knew that he could have married over and over again, +if he had so wished. Perhaps it was the strong hold that his mother +had of his affections; perhaps her sweet and gracious dignity, her +cultivated mind, and her winning personality, overshadowed the shallow, +light-hearted Anglo-Indian girls of his acquaintance. He compared them +all with his mother, and found them wanting. He may have judged them +hardly; he saw them always smiling and gay, and did not realise that +their frivolous talk often hid their deeper feelings.</p> + +<p>But Hope came before him in a different light. It was not her beauty +that attracted him; it was the sad wistful pathos in her grey eyes, +the quiver of her sensitive lips, the troubled restless soul that +looked out of her sweet girlish face. He had noted her tears, and when +he left the cathedral with his mother, he vaguely wondered why he was +so interested in her. Later on, he heard more about her, and then, +when she visited his mother, he saw that the restlessness had passed +out of her eyes, and great peace reigned there. From that time, her +personality was ever in his thoughts. Now, though his eyes were keenly +conscious of her every look and movement, his words were lightly spoken.</p> + +<p>"There now!" he said with pride, as he set out her tea on the table +beside her. "Am I not as good as my word? The world will look quite +different when you've had some tea! I know the ways of women!"</p> + +<p>Hope laughed as she took the cup from his hand, and her sadness +vanished.</p> + +<p>"The world is a pleasant place as viewed from these cottage walls. What +a simple thing life is, after all! You only want shelter and warmth and +food. I believe we shall get all that here."</p> + +<p>"And rest of mind, and sometimes rest of body."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I shall have both, certainly the former."</p> + +<p>Hope looked away out of the window as she spoke. Then as her glance +came back to Lancelot, her eyes twinkled.</p> + +<p>"What would your mother say if she saw you now?"</p> + +<p>"She would be glad to see her teaching from early boyhood carried out. +She is old-fashioned, Miss St. Clair, and thinks that men ought to wait +on women. I should wish your brother had had such a teacher."</p> + +<p>"You must not abuse Brian. He is a dear good boy. I can't tell you how +I admire him. And oh, Mr. Dane, if you saw his gentleness and patience +with my poor father!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, but I should also like to see more chivalrous attention to his +sister."</p> + +<p>Lancelot's voice rang sternly.</p> + +<p>Hope hastened to change the subject, and they had an animated +discussion upon the "simple life," with its attendant difficulties for +educated people. When Brian came in, Lancelot got up to go.</p> + +<p>"Look after your sister," he said, "and remember you cannot expect a +race-horse to do a cart-horse's work."</p> + +<p>"Now what does the fellow mean by that?" said Brian wrathfully, as he +watched his retreating figure down the brick walk.</p> + +<p>Hope laughed.</p> + +<p>"Very impertinent, is he not? Come and sit down, Brian. I will go to +father."</p> + +<p>"He is asleep. We shall hear him if he wakes."</p> + +<p>Brian smothered a quick sigh as he sat down on the old-fashioned +window-ledge.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "you've got it very shipshape here. I think we shall +pull through all right. And if you want help in cooking, remember I'm +colonial through and through, and can bake bread or cook a joint with +any one, not to speak of making rabbit stews, and even an apple-tart!"</p> + +<p>"We shall manage famously," said Hope cheerily, "and I shall look to +you to make up my deficits."</p> + +<p>Her short rest was over, but it had done her good, and when the boys +arrived an hour later, she was equal to the task of quieting their high +spirits, and getting them comfortably through their evening meal, and +to bed in one of the attics.</p> + +<p>Then she stood at the open cottage door, looking across the orchard in +the waning light, and her heart rested itself on a verse she had read +that morning in her Bible:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "When the Lord giveth quietness, who then can make trouble?"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>The loss of her aunt, the distressing helplessness of her father, the +scarcity of money, and the prospect of daily toil and anxieties, could +not seem to touch her with the assurance of God's quietness and peace +filling her soul.</p> + +<p>She laid her tired head on her pillow that night with a smile upon her +lips, and a prayer in her heart for guidance and strength.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>In the days that followed, even Brian marvelled at her. Not that she +was perfect. She made many and ludicrous mistakes, and the housekeeping +did not run smoothly at first. But each day added to her experience, +and the sweet air and country surroundings soothed and comforted her. +She spent many hours with her father, for Brian's time was necessarily +taken up with starting the poultry.</p> + +<p>The boys were rather a trial at first. They were delighted with their +new home, but Hope found the lack of space for them to play in a great +difficulty. However, they soon settled down, and went to the Vicarage +regularly morning and afternoon to be taught by the Vicar. Upon the +third day of lessons, the Vicar and his daughter called. Mr. Parr was +a widower; his eldest daughter, a sweet dreamy-looking girl of about +five-and-twenty, managed his house and was an indefatigable worker in +the parish, so she hinted to Hope.</p> + +<p>"I have not time for many social calls, but we felt we must come and +give you a welcome," she said, when her father, a quiet grave man, had +gone into Mr. St. Clair's room to see him for a minute or two.</p> + +<p>"I think I likewise shall be too busy for calls," responded Hope, +smiling, "but I did not think there would be any society about here, +not for us, at any rate."</p> + +<p>"You see," continued Avice Parr, with an absent look in her eyes, +"our parish is a very scattered one, and there is a factory three +miles away which swallows up a great many of our young girls. I have +special classes for them, and a great deal of work in connection with +the factory. My interests are entirely in the parish, so I know little +of anything else. Perhaps you may think me narrow, but the spiritual +welfare of every soul in our charge is as dear to me as to my father, +and that is saying a great deal."</p> + +<p>Hope's heart quickened as she listened to this, but she had little +opportunity of speaking, for Avice was a fluent talker, and commenced +to tell her the histories of several of her girls, with her own +difficulties in dealing with them. Before she had half finished her +narration, her father came out.</p> + +<p>"Is your father perfectly conscious of all that is going on, Miss St. +Clair?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"Perfectly. It is a comfort, in a way, but oh! so hard for him not to +be able to make himself understood!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes. Well, he seemed pleased to see me. Come, Avice, my dear, we +must not keep Miss St. Clair; she will want to return to her father."</p> + +<p>"My brother is out, or I would not have to leave you," said Hope, as +she opened the porch door and wished her visitors goodbye.</p> + +<p>Avice shook hands with her in rather a "distrait" fashion.</p> + +<p>"Father," she said, "I have just time to go to Mrs. Jennings before +tea. Do not wait for me."</p> + +<p>She hurried off, and Hope went back to her father's room. She was not +of a critical nature, but somehow or other Avice Parr disappointed her, +though she could hardly have given a reason for it.</p> + +<p>"She is good; she will help me," she said to herself, for often she +longed for sympathy and counsel; and yet she wondered if she would come +under the range of Avice's help.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_13">Chapter XIII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>KITTY</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>HOPE went out the next morning to make a few purchases at the village +shop. Coming home she passed a wooden gate in the lane, upon which a +red-haired girl sat, swinging her heels and whistling merrily.</p> + +<p>She was a fresh-faced bonny creature to look at, though beauty had +not been given to her. Her skin, which was of that very white texture +that generally accompanies red hair, was much freckled. Her eyes were +blue and mischievous, and her lips, which were perhaps over-large for +the contour of her face, were now set in a merry smile. She jumped +down from the gate when she saw Hope, and revealed herself as a tall +well-grown girl of about sixteen or seventeen.</p> + +<p>"I'm always caught out," she said, addressing Hope confidentially, +"when I am doing anything I shouldn't do! How shocked Avice would have +been—if she had noticed me—which is a doubtful point. You know father +and Avice, so we don't need an introduction, unless you don't know my +name."</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid I don't," said Hope, with a smile. "I can only conclude you +are another of Mr. Parr's daughters."</p> + +<p>"The only other one; and that one ought to have been a boy. My name is +Kitty, or Kate; but if we're going to be friends, I'll let you call +me Kitty. Shall I walk a bit of the way with you? I saw you going up +the village, when I was in the cottages, so I came out here and waited +for you. I've been quite excited over your coming, so has father, and +your small boys are gems! They told me this morning a lot about you. I +didn't pump them. You don't mind, do you?"</p> + +<p>Hope looked at the eager girl with frank kindly interest.</p> + +<p>"No," she said; "of course I don't mind. I like to feel that some one +is interested in us. It does not give one such a lonely feeling."</p> + +<p>"Then may I come and see you by myself one day, and help you with +the poultry? That's one thing I'm really good at. I've managed our +poultry-yard ever since I was ten years old, and I know all the tips +for getting eggs when no one else has them! I shouldn't be in the way, +should I?"</p> + +<p>"I shall be delighted. It is most kind of you. I want to relieve my +brother of a good part of it; but at present I am a complete ignoramus."</p> + +<p>"You see," Kitty went on, in the same friendly easy tone, "I'm no good +as an ornament, so I go in for the useful! Avice does all the rest; she +can speak like an angel, and most of the villagers think her a saint. +I've always been at home, and father has begun and ended my education. +He has finished with me now. He's given me a knowledge of the classics, +and a thorough boy's training—he was awfully disappointed not to have +a son whom he could have 'trained for the ministry,' as he says. The +funny thing is that, though he says I've got the head for it, Avice has +the soul. So we're a compound of what a son ought to have been. And no +good, either of us!"</p> + +<p>"Tell me more," said Hope, smiling, as Kitty paused; "I'm most +interested."</p> + +<p>"It's rather low talking about myself like this, but I'll do it and get +it done, and then you'll know the sort I am; and if you don't care to +know me further, I'll understand. I hate the idea of being grown up. +That's why I keep my hair down, and then people don't ask me about, +with Avice. I like to root round and do things, and there are always +things want doing.</p> + +<p>"We aren't well off, and we only keep our gardener, his wife, and their +small daughter to do the work of the house. I'm a kind of general help, +and I find enough to do picking up people's beginnings and finishing +them. You see, that's all I'm good for. I can carpenter, and I do +all the repairs of the house; and I go on errands, and make myself +generally useful. So, you see, my offer to help you with your poultry +is just what I love doing! Do you like the country? I know it's new to +you, from your look."</p> + +<p>"I like it immensely," said Hope heartily. "And I am sure you will be +able to teach me a lot of things."</p> + +<p>Kitty laughed merrily.</p> + +<p>"Even to swing on gates and whistle!" she exclaimed.</p> + +<p>And then she said goodbye, promising to come to the cottage the next +morning.</p> + +<p>Hope watched her run along the road like any schoolchild, and came home +with a warm feeling in her heart for Kitty Parr.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Meanwhile that young lady had reached the Vicarage and flung herself +into the drawing-room with more haste than gracefulness.</p> + +<p>"Avice! Father! I've seen her, and I've fallen in love with her! Why +didn't you tell me how beautiful she is? She is like a princess in +disguise. I'm going to do all I can to be real friends with her."</p> + +<p>Mr. Parr was enjoying his afternoon tea. He had just come in from some +parochial visits, and Avice had been at the factory. She looked up at +her younger sister's vehement entrance.</p> + +<p>"Whom are you talking about?" she asked. "And aren't your boots very +muddy, Kitty?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, bother my boots! Whom should I be talking about but Miss St. +Clair? We've never had any one in the parish like her!"</p> + +<p>Avice smiled.</p> + +<p>"She seemed a quiet nice girl. Rather towny in her dress and style."</p> + +<p>"Did she tell you how she liked the cottage? You seem to have got so +little out of her. And I'm afraid I only talked about myself to-day. I +don't know what she must have thought."</p> + +<p>"Father, I met John Clark, and stopped to have a long talk with him." +Avice's mind was still upon the parish, as she poured out a cup of tea +for Kitty and passed it to her.</p> + +<p>"I think too much talking is worse than none in his case," said Mr. +Parr gravely. "Did you take his wife the soup?"</p> + +<p>"No, I forgot it."</p> + +<p>"I'll take it at once," said Kitty, jumping up; and, gulping down her +tea, she left the room.</p> + +<p>"I promised it yesterday, Avice," said the Vicar, with mild reproach in +his tone.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I am sorry, father, but soup, after all, is not a matter of vital +importance; John's soul is."</p> + +<p>"You cannot always separate the body from the soul, Avice. John's +excuse for frequenting 'The Crown' is that since his wife's illness, +he gets no proper food. Perhaps if he and she had had that good soup +to-day, you would not have seen him come out of 'The Crown' in the +state he was."</p> + +<p>Avice did not reply. She was, indeed, too absorbed in her thoughts to +notice her father's mild reproof.</p> + +<p>The two motherless girls had sadly missed a mother's training and +care. Naturally precocious, Avice had at a very early age taken the +lead in all parochial matters. She was earnest and sincere, but +lacked the practical common-sense which characterised her younger +sister. The parish would have fared badly if it had not been for +harum-scarum Kitty. As she said, her sister and she would have made a +good compound. Apart, they were lacking sadly in the essentials for a +vicar's daughters. Avice was a dreamer; she regarded food, clothes, +and housekeeping as necessary evils. Kitty, preternaturally sharp, +saw where her sister failed, and filled up the breach. Both were +egotistical, and supremely impressed with their own importance, but +Kitty was more aware of her own deficiencies.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next morning she appeared at the cottage before ten o'clock. Hope +had been instructing Mrs. Goddles, a fat, cheery little woman, with a +fluent tongue; and she was divided between the importance of cleaning +out the kitchen and making a batch of bread.</p> + +<p>Kitty, seeing Hope's wistful looks over her dirty kitchen, solved the +question.</p> + +<p>"Let me make the bread. I'm a lovely hand at it, and Mrs. Goddles can +clean away as much as she likes without minding me. You've a splendid +fire. Do let me do it Miss St. Clair."</p> + +<p>"It's very kind of you," said Hope. "I will watch you, for I want to +learn how to do it. Only I must run away now and then to my father. My +brother is out mending and cleaning up the fowl-houses."</p> + +<p>Kitty was in her element. She bustled about, getting the things she +wanted, and soon was kneading her dough with all the skill of a born +breadmaker. Brian, coming in a little later, was startled to find her +the sole occupant of the kitchen, and to hear a brisk conversation +being carried on between her and the unseen Mrs. Goddles in the back +kitchen.</p> + +<p>"I says to him, Miss Kitty—'John,' I says, 'ain't you ashamed to talk +over a lady so?' And he says—"</p> + +<p>"I don't want to hear what he said, Mrs. Goddles; he's a disgrace to +the village, and though you're his sister, I say so!"</p> + +<p>"Ay, Miss Kitty, you do be too hard on us; but there, you be young, +so you be! And you don't take after your dear sister, bless her sweet +face! Her were a-saying to me only yesterday when I were a-carryin' +my basket of clothes back from Vicarage, and I were a-sweating up the +hill with it—'Mrs. Goddles,' she says, 'do you ever thank the Lord you +haven't to carry the burden of your sins?' With that she set to and she +preached me one o' the prettiest sermons I've heard tell for many a +day. Ah, Miss Kitty, 'tisn't many have the gift of preaching like Miss +Avice have! She never says a hard word to a dog, but she be just full +o' the goodness and the love of the Almighty, an' if she were chapel +born and bred, she couldn't be more supple wi' her tongue!"</p> + +<p>Kitty's eyes met Brian's, as he stood in the doorway, and they twinkled +as only Kitty's could.</p> + +<p>"Miss St. Clair has just gone into your father. I'm Kitty Parr. I saw +you when you came to talk to father about the boys, but you didn't see +me, for I was peeping through the chink of the door. I'm making bread. +It is the weekly batch. Doesn't it look good?"</p> + +<p>"Ripping!"</p> + +<p>Brian laughed back. He liked this young unconventional girl. It +reminded him of his beloved Canada.</p> + +<p>When Hope returned a short time later, she found Brian and Kitty the +best of friends. Brian was sitting on the window-ledge peeling an apple +for the young lady; and he offered it with more courtesy than Hope +would have given him credit for.</p> + +<p>The bread made, Kitty insisted on inspecting the poultry, and suggested +"swapping" a few hens, to which Brian agreed. Hope listened to the +merits of the different species with profound respect. It was all +unintelligible to her, but she was delighted to see Brian so animated +and boyish. Then he went back to his father, and Hope began to get the +dinner ready, Kitty helping her, and talking hard all the time.</p> + +<p>"It is so delicious to do everything yourself, isn't it?" she said. +"And you seem to do it so daintily. How do you keep yourself so clean? +I know I have dabs of flour all over my face, and I generally spill +an awful lot of water over the place when I move the saucepans! Miss +St. Clair, forgive my curiosity, but why do you live in this little +cottage? You're not a bit suited to it."</p> + +<p>Hope laughed merrily.</p> + +<p>"It's the want of money makes it a necessity, Kitty; but I mean to +enjoy every bit of it."</p> + +<p>"And don't you feel you want to sit down and read a book, or drive out +to see your friends, or go off for a long walk, instead of cooking the +dinner sometimes?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I do feel that. And the other day I gave way to the feeling, and +took up my book while my tarts were in the oven, with the result that +the tarts were burnt. I felt a great sympathy with King Alfred, I can +assure you!"</p> + +<p>"But you had no one to scold you! I think if I had a cottage like this +I could be quite, quite happy. It's managing a house for others that is +the bother. You are your own mistress."</p> + +<p>"Brian is the master," said Hope, with humour lurking in the corners of +her lips.</p> + +<p>"Brian is your brother? Oh, I should think he was a jolly sort. He +looks so good-tempered."</p> + +<p>"He is a dear boy."</p> + +<p>Hope spoke with emphasis.</p> + +<p>Kitty looked at her thoughtfully.</p> + +<p>"I believe you are the right compound," she said. "Avice is too soft, +and I am too hard, so people tell me. Avice is always looking at the +beautiful in life, and I see the mistakes and muddles of it. Now you +are perfect, absolutely perfect, and oh, you are so sweet!"</p> + +<p>The impulsive girl threw her arms round Hope and gave her a hug, and +though they had been only acquainted with each other for twenty-four +hours, Hope did not resent it. She could not, for Kitty's bright +personality had cheered her immensely. She no longer felt a stranger in +a strange land. When she left her that morning, Hope had promised to +let her come over on Monday in the same way.</p> + +<p>"To-morrow is Sunday," Kitty said in parting. "Avice and father are +at it from morning to night. I'm the only one of the family who takes +a real Sunday rest. I did try taking a Sunday class, but I can't talk +goody, and if the children are naughty, I want to slap them, and that +doesn't work in our parish."</p> + +<p>Poor Hope did not find that first Sunday morning very restful to her. +Jerry and Toby were home all day, and it was wet and stormy. In spite +of the rain, she took them to church in the morning, but getting the +breakfast herself, preparing the dinner, and leaving the house clean +and tidy before she started for church, was rather an exhausting +process.</p> + +<p>"It's awful fun being really poor," Jerry announced, as he strode +sturdily along by her side. "I can't think why people like big houses +so much. It's ever so much nicer living in a kitchen."</p> + +<p>"Yes," put in Toby, "but I should like to be a little farther away from +poor dad. Will he never get better, Hope? Shall you be always hushing +us till we grow up?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, dad will die before that," said Jerry, solemnly. "I'm sure Brian +thinks he will, for I heard him say to that old Doctor he met in the +street last week when I was walking with him, 'You'll give him a year, +Doctor?' And the old chap shook his head."</p> + +<p>Hope looked at Jerry in a startled way.</p> + +<p>"There is a chance of father recovering, dear. The doctor told me so +himself."</p> + +<p>Her little brother's words filled her with uneasiness and dismay, but +once inside the quiet little country church, Hope gave her mind up to +the service. And Mr. Parr's simple sermon, based on the Twenty-third +Psalm, and the reiteration of the opening phrase, "The Lord is my +Shepherd, I shall not want," filled her with strength and comfort. +Avice played the organ and led the little village choir with great +sweetness. Kitty, looking decorum itself in the Vicarage pew, smiled +recognition after the service was over; but Hope was in too great a +hurry to get home to wait to speak to her.</p> + +<p>The rain had settled into a steady downpour; the meadow in front of +their cottage was like a sponge to tread upon, and Hope found the +process of changing and drying clothes and boots for herself and the +boys very trying in the confined space of the kitchen. When dinner was +over, she went into her father's room, and Brian told her he would look +after the boys for the afternoon.</p> + +<p>Hope read the morning's lessons to her father. She saw from his face +that he was not averse to it. Then she talked to him about the Vicar +and his girls, and a little bit about the sermon. As yet she felt very +shy of speaking to her father about the things she loved, and the fact +of never being able to elicit a response from him made her the more +diffident in what she said.</p> + +<p>"I liked his preaching," she said quietly. "It was so straight and +simple. He told us if we would only read the Bible and take the +sweetness out of it in a practical way, our lives would be very +different. And then he said if the Lord was our Shepherd, we should not +want. He asked us if we would each take Him for our Shepherd and make +this satisfying experience ours. I felt so glad to think that we can +all have it."</p> + +<p>There was silence in the room. Mr. St. Clair's eyelids flickered. He +heard, but he could make no response.</p> + +<p>Hope prayed silently for him, then added:</p> + +<p>"'I shall not want.' I keep saying it over and over again, father. +Nothing upon earth as long as I live, nothing certainly in our home +above. We seem to want so much sometimes, and if God cuts it all down +to what He considers is sufficient for us, we can be content. That is +what Mr. Parr told us."</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair moved his head restlessly on the pillow. It was a sign +that he had heard enough. So Hope sat still, and thought of many things +that Sunday afternoon whilst her father dozed. She could hear the +boys' voices in the next room, and occasional sharp ejaculations from +Brian as he rebuked them. The whiff of smoke that penetrated into the +bedroom from the kitchen told her that he was enjoying a pipe. Soon the +monotonous sound of his voice, and the sudden silence of the boys, told +her that he was reading aloud. She wondered if there were many other +young fellows of his age who would spend their Sunday afternoons in +such a manner.</p> + +<p>Then her thoughts turned suddenly away to the one who had criticised +him—to Lancelot Dane. She thought of his words, "A friend comes into +one's life to stay there." He had certainly come into hers; would he +always stay there? Hope dwelt on his words, on his quiet determined +chivalry towards her, and then, with a flush on her cheeks, she shook +her head at her wayward thoughts.</p> + +<p>"I am not a foolish, inexperienced girl. I have seen enough to know +that men can be friendly to women all their lives, and want nothing +more than their friendship. That I will give him gladly."</p> + +<p>Then she opened her Bible again, and presently her father required her +attention, and so the afternoon wore away.</p> + +<p>When she came out into the kitchen, she found Brian gravely cutting +bread and butter for the boys. The tea was laid, the kettle boiling, +and the kitchen looked a picture of cosy comfort.</p> + +<p>"What a good boy you are!" Hope exclaimed, as she came to the table. "I +feel quite rested. Why, you are better than I am at getting tea!"</p> + +<p>"He likes it!" said Toby, grinning. "He's awfully glad that cheeky +Anne is out of the way. It feels like home to be in a proper kitchen +again, and we've been hearing 'Adventures in the South Pacific.' It's +stunning!"</p> + +<p>"Well," said Brian, ignoring his small brother, "I fancied you looked +pretty fagged this morning, so I hope the rest has done you good."</p> + +<p>"Indeed it has."</p> + +<p>Hope sat down to tea and chatted cheerfully through it. Then, when +Brian went back to Mr. St. Clair, she washed up the tea-things and made +the boys help her. It was too wet to go to church again. Finding that +Toby and Jerry were getting quarrelsome, she sat down by the fire with +them and said she would tell them a story.</p> + +<p>"About Indians taking scalps?" said Toby eagerly.</p> + +<p>But Hope shook her head. She was always trying to influence for good +these young brothers of hers, and seized this opportunity at once.</p> + +<p>"I will tell you a story of a giant," she said, and in a few minutes +the boys were listening breathlessly to the legend of St. Christoferus.</p> + +<p>When she paused, Jerry said with a sigh:</p> + +<p>"I should like to have been that chap. Awful fine, taking people over +the river on your back! You could give a ducking to those who cheeked +you!"</p> + +<p>"I wish," said Hope, looking into their bright eyes with great +earnestness—"I wish that you two boys would take service with the +strongest Master in the world."</p> + +<p>There was no reply. The boys looked at each other, then at her.</p> + +<p>"You see," Hope went on, "it is always nice to serve the best. No one +can lose if Christ is their Master, for He is on the winning side. And +He is so strong that He makes His followers strong. They need never +fail to conquer if their Master is with them."</p> + +<p>"That sounds all right," said Jerry cautiously, "but boys who go in for +being 'pi' aren't thought much of!"</p> + +<p>"Aren't they?" said Hope, a little drily. "I wonder what the angels and +people in heaven think of them, not to speak of their Master who owns +all creation?"</p> + +<p>"Well, they get laughed at in school."</p> + +<p>"They can afford to laugh back if they're on the winning side."</p> + +<p>Jerry fidgeted.</p> + +<p>"Me and Toby know you're religious, because you smile when things go +wrong and are sorry when you are waxy. But we're boys, you see, and +they can't be good."</p> + +<p>Hope tried to show them the fallacy of this argument, and they talked +over the fire till supper-time. When she went to wish them good-night, +Toby pulled her head down to his on the pillow. In a fervent whisper he +said:</p> + +<p>"I'll have a try. I'll tell Christ to-night. I'll take service with +Him. What do you think my name will be altered to? Christ-Toby?"</p> + +<p>Hope did not know whether to laugh or cry, but the earnestness of the +small round face, with the soft cheek pressed to hers, filled her +with thankfulness; and she left him with a few more words and came +downstairs to Brian, feeling that Sunday had been, in spite of the +rain, a truly restful day.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The next morning brought her Kitty, full of enthusiasm about +the poultry. She and Brian worked out of doors all the morning, +constructing coops and enclosures out of old boxes and odds and +ends. Hope, from her father's room, heard their cheerful voices and +congratulated herself upon having a young friend who was as acceptable +to Brian as to herself. She asked her to stay to the early dinner, but +Kitty refused.</p> + +<p>"I must be back, for Avice is having a mothers' meeting this afternoon, +and I help with the club. How did you like my bread?"</p> + +<p>"It's quite delicious. I hope I shall be as successful when I try."</p> + +<p>Kitty laughed as she ran away. Brian looked after her with a smile.</p> + +<p>"She ought to be in the colonies," he said; "that's the sort we want +out there!"</p> + +<p>And higher praise than that could not be given by Brian. That afternoon +Hope was surprised by a visit from Hester Chesney, who brought Lady May +Fosberry with her.</p> + +<p>"May is staying with us for a couple of days, so of course wouldn't +be satisfied until I brought her over. Now I know you two would enjoy +a talk together, so don't mind me. I shall go out and inspect your +poultry, and I want to get a plant that Miss Rill told me could be +found in her hedges, and which is a great favourite of the bees."</p> + +<p>Hester walked off, and Lady May sat down in the one easy chair in the +kitchen and looked about her with interest and delight.</p> + +<p>"I can't believe it is you, Hope. You were the last girl I should have +ever thought would live in a cottage, and yet here you are, looking as +dainty as ever, and happier, I think, than in the old times, though you +have had such trouble!"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope gravely, "I am happier, May, in spite of all, but I +have longed for a talk with some one who understands."</p> + +<p>"Yes, and so have I, though I have made one or two friends in town who +help me. How strange it is, Hope, that your circumstances have all +been changed for you, whilst I, who pine for change, can't get it. +What a useful life you lead! No ceremony, nothing that would spoil the +simplicity of life and come between your soul and God."</p> + +<p>"No," said Hope, "I suppose not. But I am thankful that I learnt to +take my comfort in the unseen things before all this came upon me. I +don't think I could have borne it if I had not been strengthened by God +Himself."</p> + +<p>"You're an angel!" said impulsive May. "Let me tell you how I have +fared. Oh, Hope, I was burning, longing to give myself to the +mission-field. I felt I must try to be one of the labourers, if I +could manage it. The first blow was my mother's flat refusal to let me +go. And our stupid doctor told her I would not be strong enough. Then +I begged her to let me do some parish work under our vicar in town. +She reluctantly consented. I suppose I worked too hard, for I had a +breakdown, and now they've got it into their heads that I have a weak +chest, and I am ordered abroad for the winter. Father and mother have +taken a villa at Cannes, and I am to be there the whole winter. We +leave in a fortnight's time." May's face was lugubrious.</p> + +<p>Hope smiled at her.</p> + +<p>"If you believe our circumstances are ordered by God, May, it is all +right, is it not?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I do believe it," May responded, brightening at once. "But I +forget it, and of course the Riviera life is not enticing. It is such +an idle one. What can I do there? I don't doubt God means me to go, but +I keep thinking that He may have found me unfitted to be one of His +messengers—that is what troubles me."</p> + +<p>"I expect you will find a good many opportunities of helping those +amongst your own friends," observed Hope thoughtfully. "After all, it +is only a question of class, isn't it? You want to speak to the lower +classes and influence them. God wants you to speak and influence the +upper classes. They want the message of life quite as much as the +ignorant and uneducated do. You helped me first, remember! You can help +other girls in the same way."</p> + +<p>May's expressive dark eyes glowed with delight. "Yes, I see it! How +clearly you put it, Hope. I am not going to be shut away from all +intercourse with my fellow-creatures. And I haven't to pick and choose +and settle in my own mind who needs help most. Everybody needs help +everywhere. Oh, you have comforted me!"</p> + +<p>Hope smiled, but looked somewhat wistful.</p> + +<p>"My circle is a very small one," she said. "I almost envy you your +opportunities!"</p> + +<p>"Oh no, never! You are a perfect heroine. I am not."</p> + +<p>Then they talked over their Bibles. May got her little pocket Testament +out and gave Hope the rough outlines she had heard of a reading on a +chapter in Ephesians. Hope listened breathlessly. It was all so new to +her, and she felt she had so much to learn; but their time was limited, +and Hester soon sauntered back to them.</p> + +<p>"I know I am not welcome," she said; "but I forgot to bring lamps, and +it is getting late. I'm afraid you must come, May."</p> + +<p>"You're a dear!" said Hope, laying her hand affectionately on Hester's +arm. "But come over and see me by yourself when May has gone. I feel we +have treated you shabbily this afternoon."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I understand! There's a kind of freemasonry between you good +people. I suppose May has confided to you her woes. She is not allowed +to leave the world at present. Fate has not been as kind to her as to +you."</p> + +<p>"She doesn't want to leave the world," said Hope quietly.</p> + +<p>"No," said May, as she kissed her and wished her goodbye. "I shall be +content now wherever I am."</p> + +<p>Hester looked at her queerly, but said nothing till they were both in +the trap. Then she looked back and nodded to Hope.</p> + +<p>"I believe in you," she said, "and I shall believe in May if she takes +a leaf out of your book. I hate the cowardly way religious people +rush away from their homes and friends to preach sermons to the poor, +because they're afraid of tackling their own sort!"</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_14">Chapter XIV</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>THE LITTLE FLAGGED PATH</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>HOPE was not without visitors, even at King's Dell. Mrs. Dane came +to see her very often, and always brought flowers and fruit for the +invalid. Hope enjoyed her visits immensely. She could talk freely and +unrestrainedly to her, and leant upon her for counsel and advice. +Lancelot was called away to see his property in the North, so he did +not accompany his mother. Busy as she was, Hope was enjoying her +cottage life more than she would have thought possible. Perhaps Brian's +increased cheerfulness and energy infected her. He began to turn some +of their waste ground into a kitchen garden, with a view to selling +vegetables, and was always happy when he was working in the open-air.</p> + +<p>The days drew in, and autumn began to verge into winter. Still Mr. St. +Clair remained in the same condition, and though they were not quite so +tied to the sick-room, he was a great anxiety and care.</p> + +<p>Kitty continued her visits. Avice very occasionally came to call, but +Hope quickly realised that she was too absorbed in her own interests to +become very friendly.</p> + +<p>One afternoon Hope was in the act of pumping some water in the yard, +when she was startled by the sudden appearance at her side of a thin, +wiry old man dressed in a very shabby great-coat and wearing a faded +red comforter round his throat.</p> + +<p>He took off his hat with an old-fashioned flourish.</p> + +<p>"I hear, madam, that Miss Rill has left. She always sold me a dozen +pounds of honey at this time of year. I came round to see if you were +continuing to keep bees."</p> + +<p>"I am sorry," said Hope politely, "but we do not; Miss Rill sold her +hives to a friend of mine. We have poultry and eggs to sell, and we +hope to have some vegetables later on."</p> + +<p>He stroked his chin meditatively and looked at her.</p> + +<p>"Are you a farmer's daughter?"</p> + +<p>"Well," Hope said slowly, "I suppose I am. My father has farmed in +Canada, but is too ill now to do anything of that sort, so my brother +is going to farm this small place instead."</p> + +<p>"And you are a modern product, then, of a young person taken out of her +own station of life and sent to boarding-school to be made a lady."</p> + +<p>Hope's eyes twinkled.</p> + +<p>"And now I've come back to my proper station of life," she said, "and I +find it very enjoyable."</p> + +<p>Again he looked at her curiously.</p> + +<p>"Look here," he said brusquely. "I live the other side of those woods, +and I heard there was a young capable fellow in this place kicking his +heels for want of work. If he's your brother, I want to speak to him, +and I'll step in and sit down while you fetch him."</p> + +<p>"Come in, then," said Hope, wondering at the strangeness of her +visitor. "I will call my brother; he is working at the other end of the +orchard."</p> + +<p>She went off to Brian. "You must come in and speak to him; he evidently +doesn't think much of me," she said. "He looks a regular old tramp, but +his voice is that of a gentleman."</p> + +<p>"I know who he is," said Brian, rolling down his shirt-sleeves and +slipping on his coat. He was digging, and looked, as Hope thought, +the picture of a young farmer. "The Vicar told me the squire of this +place was very queer and miserly, and lived by himself with very few +servants. It will be Mr. Spencer, I guess!"</p> + +<p>Mr. Spencer it was, and he stayed in Hope's kitchen for one full hour, +talking to her and to Brian. In the end, Brian promised to go over the +next day and superintend a bit of farming on the old man's place.</p> + +<p>"I am not proud," said Brian afterwards. "I know what he wants, and I +shall see that his men do it."</p> + +<p>"It seems to me you have your hands full as it is," said Hope; but he +would not have it so.</p> + +<p>The next afternoon he came back chuckling.</p> + +<p>"He can't make us out. He's awfully curious about you, asked no end of +questions. I like the old chap; he made me come into his room and have +a smoke before I left. He's a clever old sort, reads a good bit, and +philosophises. He says clothes and food ought never to be luxuries. +That is the sin of the age."</p> + +<p>"I dare say he is right," said Hope, smiling.</p> + +<p>She was glad when a strange friendship was formed between Brian and +this old man. Brian always preferred older men to those of his own age; +and now very often, when his work was done, he would go over to smoke a +pipe with old Mr. Spencer.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>As winter came on, Hope began to find her household duties more +irksome. The cold and wet depressed them all. The cottage lay low, and +the meadow and orchard became almost a swamp. Visitors were few and +far between. The Chesneys went away, Mrs. Dane was laid up with a bad +attack of rheumatism, and Kitty was the only one who cheered Hope from +time to time by her unfailing helpfulness and good spirits. She was +helping her bake one afternoon when there was a knock at the door, and +without any ceremony Lancelot walked in upon them.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, after he had shaken hands with Hope and been +introduced to Kitty, "you have now effectually isolated yourself by +barriers of mud and water. May I ask how you reach the highroad?"</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Hope, with laughing eyes, "I haven't been beyond our brick +path since last Sunday. I never go out in the week, and Brian does the +marketing."</p> + +<p>"You look like it," he said, regarding her with his keen dark eyes. +"Now I shall carry you off this afternoon for a short drive. It is +wonderfully mild, and in my trap you won't be conscious of the mud. +Miss Kitty might like to come too, but I am going to take no denial."</p> + +<p>"Ah, but you must! There is my father; how can I leave him? Brian is +out. I cannot run away from my duties like that."</p> + +<p>"Let me stay and look after him just for one hour," pleaded Kitty. "The +air would take away your headache, and you would come back feeling +quite different. So make her go, Mr. Dane. No one ever can make her go +out, and I think she is getting quite pale and thin. Just one hour—it's +only three o'clock now, and you would be back at four in time for tea, +and you really shall go, Miss St. Clair!"</p> + +<p>Two resolute pertinacious natures overcame Hope's scruples. She found +herself seated in Lancelot's trap before she had time to make any +further objections.</p> + +<p>"How delicious!" she exclaimed, as the soft air fanned her cheeks. "I +have been in the kitchen most of to-day, for as you saw, we are doing +our weekly baking, and Kitty and I were nearly overcome with the heat. +What made you think of coming?"</p> + +<p>"I got home from the north yesterday, so of course I came. Is it not +within the limits of friendship to see each other occasionally?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose so," was the laughing rejoinder. Then, in a different tone, +Hope asked anxiously:</p> + +<p>"And how is Mrs. Dane? I have longed to see her, but could not manage +it."</p> + +<p>"She is better, but still in bed. Tell me what you have been doing."</p> + +<p>"Cooking, mending, nursing, cleaning, and enjoying life," said Hope +stoutly.</p> + +<p>He looked down upon her with humour in his eyes.</p> + +<p>"Where does the enjoying come in?"</p> + +<p>"It begins in the morning when the robins sing outside my window, +and when I first open the door, and get a whiff of the moist air and +fallen leaves. Then I go to the pump and look up through the orchard to +the woods beyond, with the tall blue pines towering against the sky, +and then I come indoors refreshed and strengthened, and as I work on +through the day—forgive my self-conceit—I enjoy the feeling that I am +really becoming a capable housewife. I can boil milk without burning, +black grates without soiling my hands, and turn out a dinner that is +not a failure!"</p> + +<p>"Admirable accomplishments!"</p> + +<p>"Don't scoff! I am learning to enjoy things I never enjoyed before. +This drive is ten times more enjoyable from the very rarity of it. +Leisure and rest mean so much to me now. But I will not talk of myself. +Tell me the news of the day. We only have a weekly newspaper, and I +want to hear what has been going on since last Saturday."</p> + +<p>He told her; then related some of his experiences in his northern home. +Hope listened with interest and attention, and then his tone deepened +into gravity as he added:</p> + +<p>"My time is nearly up. I shall go out next month. And you will, +perhaps, be surprised at my news; but my mother goes with me."</p> + +<p>"Oh! Both of you!"</p> + +<p>The words escaped her breathlessly.</p> + +<p>"Isn't it a very sudden idea?" she asked confusedly.</p> + +<p>"Yes. My brother Rufus is going to be married, as I expect you know. +Paul has taken chambers in town, so none of us will be at home this +winter. We do not like the idea of our mother being alone. She has +always had one or the other with her; and she is quite willing to try +six months in India with me."</p> + +<p>Hope felt dumbfounded; she had difficulty in keeping the tears out of +her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I shall feel quite lost without your mother," she said, after a pause. +"She has been such a friend to me."</p> + +<p>Lancelot said nothing. He looked in front of him with a set determined +face; and then, without any warning, a tremendous storm of rain burst +upon them.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" he exclaimed. "I might have thought this mild December day would +make us pay for it."</p> + +<p>He gathered up the rugs round Hope. She was, unfortunately, without a +cloak or umbrella, and there was no house or shelter of any kind near +them. Seeing how wet she was getting, he drew up the horse, and without +a word slipped out of his overcoat and wrapped it round her. It was no +good for Hope to protest; his masterful manner won the day, though she +assured him that the rest of the drive would be spoilt to her.</p> + +<p>"With your Indian constitution, and your tendency to ague, it is cruel +to make me the cause of your becoming ill," she assured him.</p> + +<p>He laughed, and looked down upon her with such a glance that Hope's +eyes fell before his. And then he spoke.</p> + +<p>"Don't you know," he said, "that I want to give you something more than +a tweed overcoat?"</p> + +<p>Hope caught her breath, then gently laid her hand upon his arm.</p> + +<p>"Don't say more," she said.</p> + +<p>"But I must, though I did not think I should have to do so in the face +of such a storm as this. Do you think I am going away to India without +a word—without one effort to win you?"</p> + +<p>"I cannot listen," said Hope quietly, though her heart was beating +painfully. "You know my circumstances. I will never leave my father as +long as he lives. It is quite impossible."</p> + +<p>"Confound circumstances!" exclaimed Lancelot, for once losing his +self-restraint. "My little Hope, tell me—I know you have liked me as a +friend—could you care for me as a husband? I want to have the right to +shield, to care for you, to take you right away and give you comforts +and happiness, and—and—your proper and suitable environment."</p> + +<p>"I am in the environment God has chosen for me," said Hope, almost +below her breath.</p> + +<p>"Yes—forgive me—I should not have said that. You grace it as you could +grace a duchess's sphere. You make any surrounding beautiful. But you +have not answered me. I know you will not play with me. Speak from your +heart, I beseech you, and tell me truly whether you could ever regard +me as something more than a friend."</p> + +<p>It was a strange time in which to make a proposal. The rain was driving +full in their faces, the wind buffeting them at every turn, and +Lancelot's horse needed his continual guidance and attention.</p> + +<p>Hope was greatly taken by surprise. She had instinctively felt that +Lancelot liked her; but had repeatedly told herself that it was only +as a friend. She had not thought he would bring matters to a climax so +soon. And she hardly knew her own heart, as from the very first she +had resisted and crushed any feelings that had exceeded the bounds of +friendship.</p> + +<p>She took refuge in silence, and was glad that the dusk and wet shielded +her from his observation.</p> + +<p>"Tell me," he repeated, "that friendship between us must deepen into +love. I dare say I have not much to offer you except my love. People +say I am a social failure; I am not fond of the gay world, but neither +are you, and I honestly believe that I could make you happy."</p> + +<p>"You have taken me by surprise," Hope said gently, though her voice +trembled in spite of herself. "Will you give me time? I must think it +over, but I really feel at present that I have no right to make any +ties that will take me away from my father. I can never leave him. I +am his only daughter. It would be unfair towards you if I bound you in +any way, for I know for a long time that marriage would be out of the +question for me."</p> + +<p>"I will wait," he said eagerly. "I would not be so selfish as to wish +to take you now. Perhaps I ought to have gone off to India without +speaking, but I could not. Yes, I will give you time, though it will be +suspense to me. But how long will you want? And will you promise me to +consult your own heart before you consult either father or brother?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I promise that," said Hope quietly. "Give me till to-morrow +afternoon—I will have my answer ready then."</p> + +<p>They were approaching King's Dell. Lancelot stifled the hot passionate +words that were upon his tongue, and Hope did not misunderstand his +quiet self-restraint. She liked him the better for it. When they parted +at the cottage gate, he took her hand in his.</p> + +<p>"I shall pray God that you may be given me," he said, and then he +turned away.</p> + +<p>Hope went up the flagged path with throbbing pulse and tearful eyes. +She was glad to hear that Kitty was reading aloud to her father, and +the quiet moments spent in her own room, whilst she was changing her +wet garments, restored her self-possession.</p> + +<p>Kitty met her with great concern.</p> + +<p>"It is too bad!" she exclaimed, with impatience. "You go out so seldom +that you might have been given fine weather. Have you enjoyed yourself?"</p> + +<p>"I have and I haven't," said Hope, smiling.</p> + +<p>"You look worried. What a nice man Mr. Dane is! I like his eyes so, +and he looks a man! He's so keen and quick and decisive in the way he +speaks. I hate a man who drawls his words, don't you? But, of course, I +don't see many men, only curates!"</p> + +<p>"And vicars," said Hope, laughing outright at the inflection of scorn +in Kitty's last words.</p> + +<p>"Yes, but they're father's friends, not mine. I've only seen two +classes of curates about here, the breathlessly energetic ones who +begin to turn everything upside down, and quote their former parish +until you wonder why they left it, and the drawley, lazy, bored ones, +who smile superciliously, and place themselves on pedestals, refusing +to come down. I've always told father that I shall never marry a +curate—and, of course, Avice thinks there is no one on earth like them! +I'm so sorry your drive was spoilt by the weather!"</p> + +<p>She took her departure, and Hope found enough to occupy her hands, if +not her thoughts, for the rest of the day. It was only when she went +to her bedroom at night that she could sit down and give herself up to +thought. And this she did. Her little clock on the chimneypiece was +pointing to two o'clock before she moved from her chair by the window. +And then sleep was long in coming. She was headachy and heavy-eyed when +she came down the next morning, and her daily duties seemed to weigh +heavily upon her.</p> + +<p>The rain had passed and the sun shone out gloriously. It was one of +those treasured days in winter that seem like spring in their warmth +and buoyancy. Brian had gone in the morning to the railway station with +the weekly batch of eggs and poultry. He came home at two o'clock, had +his dinner, and then told Hope he would sit for a time with his father.</p> + +<p>She was relieved, as, though Lancelot had arranged nothing, she +expected him to call. She tidied up the kitchen, put the kettle on to +boil for tea, and then opening the door, sat down in the porch with her +mending-basket.</p> + +<p>She had not been there long before the click of the garden gate made +her raise her head. It was Lancelot. As he came steadily and swiftly +up the red-brick path, Hope felt a strong inclination to turn into the +house away from him.</p> + +<p>"I have come," he said, as he shook hands with her, "for my answer."</p> + +<p>She looked desperately round her, then rose from her seat. "Let us take +a walk in the orchard," she suggested.</p> + +<p>She led the way, and Lancelot followed her in silence. Brian had cut a +path right round the orchard, and it was along this that Hope led her +lover.</p> + +<p>Presently she turned and faced him.</p> + +<p>"I thank you," she said, "for giving me time for thought; but I feel +much as I did yesterday, that I cannot bind myself at all to what would +eventually lead me away from my father and brothers."</p> + +<p>"But," said Lancelot, paling under the intensity of his feelings, "I +don't want such cautious, calculating sentiments; I want to know if you +love me."</p> + +<p>He took both her hands in his, and drew her gently but firmly towards +him. "Now, Hope, you are not going to wreck and spoil our lives by +dismissing me so lightly. I am the last one to say that you should +forsake your family in the present dilemma. I honour you for your +devotion to them. But you will not always have them with you. You +cannot consign yourself to a single existence for the rest of your life +because just at present you feel they need you. I am not going to argue +with you, but I am going to have a straight and truthful answer, and it +is within my rights to demand it. I don't ask you whether you think we +ought to marry at present. I ask you if you care for me? Please look at +me. You could not be anything but true."</p> + +<p>And then Hope's grey eyes were raised to his, but though for a second +he thought he had gauged their depths, though the glowing light and +love seemed to be dawning in them, in a moment she had turned her face +away.</p> + +<p>"I want to be true. I want to do right, and I feel I am absolutely +right in saying 'No.'"</p> + +<p>"This is your final answer?"</p> + +<p>The words were quickly, almost curtly, uttered.</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>He dropped her hands, then took them again and, with old-fashioned +courtesy, lifted them to his lips and kissed them.</p> + +<p>His sudden silent acquiescence frightened Hope. Without a word they +retraced their steps to the cottage.</p> + +<p>Hope had argued the whole thing out to herself the night before. She +called to mind more than one man in her London life who had asked her +to love him. She remembered Jim Horrocks. At one time she felt she +could have done it so easily, and yet now, though always glad to meet +him as a friend, she felt thankful that she had never been anything +more.</p> + +<p>"I feel now," she assured herself, "that I could love Lancelot Dane; he +has, as he said, come into my life to stay there, but time will show +me in the same way that my love for him is only friendship. I ought to +be free and unfettered. My father may live for years—God has shown me +my sphere of usefulness. It would be wrong to take the first chance +offered me of freeing myself from a life of self-denial and hardship, +a life in which I am really needed. It is very hard to refuse him. I +could—I know I could love him if I let myself. He is so thoughtful, so +kind and courteous, so clever and cultured, so delightful in his quick +decisions and humorous rallies, so protective in his manner. I will not +think of him, for I must not. I have refused other men before, I must +be firm now. I can't be spared; it would be unfair to bind him, and it +is not too late to nip in the bud any feeling that I have about him. I +am sure I am right. May Fosberry envied me my circumstances. I will not +run away from them. I will not relapse into a life of ease again. And +I feel if I were to say 'Yes' to Lancelot, he would be trying to make +life easier for all of us. My pride could not stand that. It would rasp +and irritate me. I could not accept favours from him nor allow any of +my belongings to do so. I don't think I am wrong. I am penniless. My +family depend upon me. I am not the wife for Lancelot!"</p> + +<p>She repeated this over and over to herself, she entrenched herself +behind a bulwark of arguments, and fancied herself strong and secure +in her position. Yet when her answer had been given, when he had bowed +his head and accepted it as final and irrevocable, for the first time +panic and desolation gripped hold of her soul. If he had only known +what was passing through her mind as they retraced their steps across +the orchard, he would not have so silently acquiesced in her decision. +He was hurt and sore at her refusal, and the stern lines about his eyes +and lips told that he was putting a strong restraint upon his emotions.</p> + +<p>He spoke when they reached the cottage.</p> + +<p>"This is goodbye," he said. "I will not trouble you again; but you have +my good wishes, and perhaps you may find time to see my mother before +she sails. We do not leave London till the week after next."</p> + +<p>"Will Mrs. Dane be well enough to go?"</p> + +<p>"She thinks so. This is only a temporary ailment."</p> + +<p>Raising his hat, he left her.</p> + +<p>She stood in the porch and watched him stride away down the flagged +path, and then, with a sudden rush of memory, she seemed to see Miss +Rill standing in that same porch and watching the departure of her +rejected suitor. That flagged path stared her in the face with earnest +protest. "The offering of rejected love." Imagination gave it voice. +Hope seemed to hear it say:</p> + +<p>"You are sending him away for ever; he will never come back; your life +will be empty without him. One woman lived here, and found no rest, +only bitterness and disappointment without the one who could have made +her happy. You are acting in the same way. You are young now, and do +not feel your need of him; the day will come when you will be old, and +lonely, and friendless. Then you will discover your mistake."</p> + +<p>She saw Miss Rill with her puckered face, her pathetic yearning to die +in the same place as her old lover, and the tears rushed to her eyes.</p> + +<p>With an impulse that she hardly understood, she walked rapidly down the +path. Would he look round? Could she call to him? A lump rose in her +throat and prevented speech. If he did not look round, her life would +be spoiled. That was the thought which flashed through her brain. He +had reached the gate. One moment more and he would have gone. The blood +rushed to her temples, then ebbed away as suddenly as it came, leaving +her as white as a sheet. And then he turned with a grim set face to see +for the last time the little spot that held the one he loved.</p> + +<p>When he saw her, he did not show surprise.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image009" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image009"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image009.jpg" alt="image009"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"WHAT IS IT?" HE INQUIRED.</b><br> +<b>"CAN I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?"</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>But her white strained face convinced him that she was in trouble. He +fancied that perhaps her father might be taken worse, and immediately +he put his own trouble in the background and sought to help her.</p> + +<p>"What is it?" he inquired. "Can I do anything for you?"</p> + +<p>Then the realisation of what she was doing came over Hope, and again +her cheeks flushed with emotion and shame.</p> + +<p>"You must wait," she said breathlessly. "It is this flagged walk that +has made me act so. Do you know its story? Will you listen to it?"</p> + +<p>He bowed assent, and stood leaning against the gate and wondering what +was passing through her mind.</p> + +<p>"It was made by a man for the woman he loved."</p> + +<p>Hope was speaking quickly, with nervously-clasped hands. Her eyes were +on the path with the history.</p> + +<p>"She was a little old maid who lived here before we came. She sent away +the man who wanted to marry her, and she never ceased to regret it. +Her remorse drove her up to London, away from her sweet home in which +she could take no pleasure. I believe she thinks she may yet meet him +there, but I expect he has married long ago."</p> + +<p>"And the path?"</p> + +<p>Light was slowly creeping into Lancelot's eyes.</p> + +<p>"The path was bricked for her by him before he went. He left a note +with just these words,—</p> + +<p>"'When you tread this path, you will be treading on rejected love.'</p> + +<p>"It was the path that drove her away; it is the path that has made me +follow you, that has made me doubt my own decision!"</p> + +<p>"What a blessed little path!"</p> + +<p>Lancelot's face was alight and aglow in a moment, but Hope stood still, +and put out her hand as if to keep him back.</p> + +<p>"Wait! You are a good man; you will not make me act wrongly. You know +my circumstances. I am going to trust you. I did not speak quite truly. +If I let myself, I could so willingly give myself to you—"</p> + +<p>She could say no more. Her faltering words were stopped by Lancelot, +who, with his arms around her, sealed her capitulation with a kiss.</p> + +<p>"I will prove myself worthy of your trust," he said. "My darling, how +could you treat me so!"</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Hope, with a long-drawn sigh, as she let her dark head rest +on his broad shoulder, "I have been fighting against myself all the +time, and now I can't fight any longer!"</p> + +<p>It was one of the sweetest moments of her life, but it quickly came to +an end. With a whoop and a shout Jerry and Toby made their appearance. +They were startled when they saw their sister and Lancelot in such +close proximity.</p> + +<p>"Lessons over?" Hope asked quietly. "Run in, both of you. I will follow +you."</p> + +<p>Then she looked up sweetly and shyly into Lancelot's face.</p> + +<p>"I have no more time," she said, "but you must advise me. I have cast +prudence and forethought to the winds; but in spite of it all, you know +I cannot leave my father."</p> + +<p>"I will wait seven years if needs be," said Lancelot passionately. "I +will come to-morrow. Oh, Hope, you have made life so different! And +what joy it will give my mother! May I tell her?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope recklessly; "I don't care who knows it. Forgive me for +not knowing my own mind before."</p> + +<p>She smiled upon him with all the warmth of her heart in her eyes, then +went up the red-bricked walk to the cottage, where the boys awaited her.</p> + +<p>Late that night she slipped out of doors in the moonlight with a shawl +over her head. And then, deliberately, she went down on her knees and +kissed the flagged path.</p> + +<p>"You blessed little path!" she repeated, in a whisper. "I thank you +with all my heart!"</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_15">Chapter XV</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A SPEEDY PARTING</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>HOPE could not confide in Brian till the next morning, and then she +broke the news awkwardly to him.</p> + +<p>He was just going out to the poultry, and he stood in the doorway +looking at her, with a tinge of amusement in his eyes.</p> + +<p>"I'm not quite a fool," he said; "I knew we should not keep you long, +only I thought that London chap was to be the happy man. Does he want +to take you out to India with him?"</p> + +<p>"As if I would go! I have told him I will never leave father, as long +as he wants me."</p> + +<p>"That won't be very long," said Brian soberly. "I doubt if he will live +a year."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Brian!"</p> + +<p>"Well, we'll see!"</p> + +<p>He went off to his work without another word, and Hope, relieved that +he took it so quietly, went in to tell her father. She knew that he +could not object. Just for a moment, the frown that crossed his face +troubled her, but she immediately assured him that she was not going +to leave him, and his brows relaxed, and his face assumed its ordinary +tranquillity.</p> + +<p>When Lancelot came later in the day, Brian met him with a manly grip of +the hand.</p> + +<p>"She'll make any chap a good wife; but I understand you are not going +to take her away at once."</p> + +<p>It was another wet afternoon. Lancelot came into the kitchen, and Hope +and he had it to themselves.</p> + +<p>But Hope could not be idle. It was ironing afternoon, and she went on +steadily with her work whilst he sat in the window and chafed at it.</p> + +<p>"I hate to be idle, whilst you are working. It is a miserable life for +you."</p> + +<p>"It is a useful and a happy one."</p> + +<p>Hope looked across the table at him a little defiantly. He smiled at +her, and the gloom disappeared from his eyes.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" she said. "That is better. Now talk to me; let me hear your +plans. We have such a short time left together."</p> + +<p>"I feel," he said, "as if I cannot go to India and leave you like this. +It makes me inclined to chuck it up, and take possession of the old +place in the North."</p> + +<p>"But what good would that do? I could not come to you. No, our +circumstances fit in very well. I have my work and you have yours. We +will leave the future."</p> + +<p>"I shall be feeling that you may be ill from overwork. You have no one +who looks after you, or who cares whether you are well or ill."</p> + +<p>"I could write," suggested Hope softly.</p> + +<p>"Your letters will be my life," Lancelot exclaimed.</p> + +<p>She shook her head.</p> + +<p>"They will be very unsatisfactory. I am not given to letter-writing. I +don't understand the art."</p> + +<p>"Will you promise to wire to me if you are in any difficulty?"</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>Then she gave a happy little laugh.</p> + +<p>"It's delicious to feel I have some one to whom I can turn!" she said.</p> + +<p>"And," went on Lancelot, looking at her intently, "I want, or my mother +wants you to do her a favour. She has a useful maid who can turn her +hand to anything. She has arranged to leave her in England, giving her +board-wages, as she wants to keep her. Could you possibly fit her in +here? You would find her invaluable. She is a country girl and enjoys +the idea of it. It would be such a relief to my mother if you could +take her in."</p> + +<p>The colour mounted into Hope's cheeks. She went on ironing one of the +boys' shirts, and she seemed entirely absorbed in it. Then, after a +minute's silence, she looked up.</p> + +<p>"It is very kind of you; I can't help seeing through it, you know! But +it wouldn't work at all! You must let me go my own way, and believe +that I am happy and well in it."</p> + +<p>"Don't be proud."</p> + +<p>"There is a certain kind of pride that is justifiable!"</p> + +<p>"Not this kind. My mother will talk to you. Can you come to see her +to-morrow? She is not well enough to come out, but she is longing to +have you with her."</p> + +<p>"I will see if I can manage it."</p> + +<p>There was silence; then, as Hope put her iron back on the stove and +prepared to take up another, he came swiftly round the table and +prevented her.</p> + +<p>"You are unapproachable with that table between yourself and me. Come +and sit down, and drop your pride and your virtuous industry. I want +you for myself. I want you to show me your heart. I will teach you how +to do it. I am wholly and entirely selfish this morning, and your work +must stop."</p> + +<p>The loving mastery in his tone overcame her scruples.</p> + +<p>For the next half-hour they sat together in the deep window-seat, and +talked as only lovers can.</p> + +<p>"I knew that we should come together the very first time I saw you," he +assured her.</p> + +<p>"But we very nearly did not," said Hope, a troubled light coming into +her eyes. "I sacrificed my pride when I ran after you. I don't know how +I could have done it! What did you honestly think of me? Tell me now."</p> + +<p>"I thought you an angel of goodness in turning my dark hour into a +paradise!"</p> + +<p>"You will never bring it up against me? It is curious that, though I +was so full of doubts and fears before, now I wonder that I could have +ever thought it possible to send you away. Oh, Lancelot, I hope I shall +never disappoint you! I feel so full of thanksgiving, so sure that God +Himself has brought us together. You will help me in so many things. I +suppose it is having to arrange so much myself that makes me long to +have some one to arrange for me."</p> + +<p>"That I will gladly undertake," said Lancelot, in such a keen tone that +Hope laughed at him.</p> + +<p>"Have your way with me now, for I know that my tractable mood will not +last. I shall soon rebel, I warn you."</p> + +<p>Their time came to an end. Mr. St. Clair wanted his daughter, and +Lancelot drove home, wondering how he could sail for India, when he +would be obliged to leave Hope behind.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It was three or four days afterwards that Hope got over to see Mrs. +Dane. Their meeting was very quiet, but Mrs. Dane embraced her, with +tears in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"I have always coveted you for a daughter," she said, "and now I have +you."</p> + +<p>"But not for long," said Hope pathetically. "You are going to leave me +as well as Lancelot. I shall have no friends left."</p> + +<p>"Do you know what I have been thinking?" said Mrs. Dane. "I wondered +if you would like to bring your father to this house for the rest of +the winter. Your brother would get on very well where he is. I shall be +obliged to leave some of my servants here doing nothing. It is so bad +for them, and it would be a charity if you came here and looked after +them. And my housemaid is such a nice woman; she was a hospital nurse +once, and she would be so delighted to attend on your father."</p> + +<p>"Dear Mrs. Dane, your plans are overwhelming!" Hope tried to laugh, +but she was profoundly touched by the Danes' efforts to leave her in +greater comfort. "It couldn't be," she said. "Father needs Brian more +than he does me, otherwise Brian would have gone to Canada; and we +settled, after our experience in Aunt Gertrude's house, that big houses +were a mistake for us. We have very small needs, and a very small +place suits us best. But I can't thank you enough for such kindness of +thought."</p> + +<p>"I wish you could be married at once," said Mrs. Dane, looking at her +wistfully. "I don't like leaving you where you are!"</p> + +<p>Hope blushed and laughed again.</p> + +<p>"I should be frightened by such a sudden proceeding. I don't know +Lancelot very well yet, and sometimes, when he adopts a very masterful +tone with me, I feel a little afraid of him."</p> + +<p>"Ah, you need never feel that. A good son makes a good husband. He is +so wonderfully tender and considerate with women. His only fault is +a little hardness of judgment which he shows towards those who have +not the same high code of principles as he has himself. He wants the +softening influence of a wife. I have often told him so."</p> + +<p>"Tell me more about him."</p> + +<p>Hope sat and listened with glowing eyes to a mother's description of a +son.</p> + +<p>And when she had left, Mrs. Dane turned round and delighted her son's +heart by her talk about Hope.</p> + +<p>The engagement was soon known. Kitty Parr was only half-pleased about +it.</p> + +<p>"You are too good to last!" she exclaimed. "I might have known you +would soon get married and go away. My theory is, that some women have +sufficient qualities in themselves to be better and happier without +husbands than with them. And I hoped and thought that you were one of +them. Silly, feeble-minded, diffident and irresolute women ought to +marry. They want the balance of a strong decided character to live +with them. And a very strong-minded, hard and brusque woman ought to +marry a nice, gentle, meek little man. Every house wants the balance +well adjusted. Don't laugh at me; I talked it over with our old doctor +here. He understood, for he makes up mixtures, and he puts in one thing +to counteract the effect of the other. We have a good mixture in our +house. Avice is soft and sweet; I am brusque and hard. Father is a +blending of both of us. I go to one extreme, Avice goes to the other, +and he keeps us together in the middle.</p> + +<p>"But you're sweet and gentle, and yet I've seen you turn upon those +imps of boys and be as firm as a rock, and as hard. You're gay and +grave by turns. You're dainty and fragile-looking, and at the same time +have as much go as I have. You don't really want a husband at all. Your +character is complete in itself."</p> + +<p>"Thank you, Kitty, but women don't take husbands to complete their +characters."</p> + +<p>"Well, they ought, if they want happy homes," said Kitty stoutly.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Jim Horrocks turned up in person to hear about it. He had always +threatened Hope that he would come down one day when she least expected +him, and carry her off from her "treadmill," as he termed it.</p> + +<p>He arrived one afternoon when Hope was busy baking, and she did not +welcome him effusively.</p> + +<p>"Why didn't you let me know you were coming?" she asked him.</p> + +<p>"Because you would have fussed round and done the idle lady, and I +wanted to catch you as the slavey!" he retorted.</p> + +<p>"I am not ashamed of what I do," she said, a little hotly. "But I would +have done my baking this morning, and so would have had more time with +you. Now you must sit still in this hot kitchen and talk to me, for I +can't stop making bread."</p> + +<p>"You're very fetching in the way you do it," he said, regarding her +critically with his head on one side. "I've come down to congratulate +you, I suppose; but upon my honour, I don't know what this fellow is +like. And I feel I should like to advise caution. He may have worked +upon your mind in these wilds, and unless he's an out of the way good +sort, he isn't the man for you. When I think of the men you have +scorned to look at (your humble servant amongst them), I do feel rather +grousy with this immaculate hero, who has stepped in and won so easily!"</p> + +<p>Hope laughed and flushed a little.</p> + +<p>"Don't be an old grandfather, Jim! Lancelot is one in a thousand; you +need not be at all uneasy. And I am not going to run away from my life +here at present. I like it too well. I am useful at last. You know how +often I wished to be in my old life. My heart's desire has been granted +to me!"</p> + +<p>"Oh!" groaned Jim, with a doleful face. "Of course, if his name is +Lancelot, that explains all. There never was a woman yet who didn't +fall down and worship any Lancelot! I wish I knew my Tennyson better, +and could spout the praises of King Arthur's beloved knight! But I +suppose you endue your hero with all the virtues of the other chap!"</p> + +<p>"If you are going to sneer, Jim, you had better have kept away!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, don't be angry! I beg pardon humbly. And I honestly am thankful +you will be coming back to a proper state of life soon. This is an +unnatural and shocking environment; that is the way science would put +it."</p> + +<p>"I don't find you half so nice as you used to be, Jim."</p> + +<p>He looked at her half-wistfully, half-comically.</p> + +<p>"I am getting older," he said. "Life is not managed as it should be. +I'm finding fault with it. Now don't preach. There's a look in your +eyes that says you want to be at me. I came down prepared to be nasty. +Truth will out. You want me to be glad that you're engaged to this +charming knight of yours. I don't know him, so I don't like him. I +should have preferred you to marry some one I knew and liked. And I +hear he is going to take you to India. That's a rotten country for +women; they go to pieces, physically and morally, and they come home +with yellow skins and a liver!"</p> + +<p>"You ridiculous boy!"</p> + +<p>Then Jim laughed. He had had his say, and felt the better for it.</p> + +<p>Hope finished her baking, then made him help her to get tea, and he +quite enjoyed himself. When he departed, he said to her:</p> + +<p>"I suppose I shall have to send you a wedding-present, but I shall +be hard up for the next two years, so take pity on me and don't get +spliced before that!"</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>It seemed to Hope that the days flew by, only giving her snatches of +time to see her lover. And then the last day came, and in his arms she +gave way to tears.</p> + +<p>"I am only getting to know you now! What shall I do without you? Life +will not be worth living!"</p> + +<p>"Shall I give my post up and stay? But you would despise me if I did, +and I should despise myself!"</p> + +<p>"Of course you must go. I am ashamed of myself."</p> + +<p>Hope pulled herself together, and smiles took the place of tears.</p> + +<p>He was white to his lips when he kissed her for the last time.</p> + +<p>"Think of me and pray for me, and may God watch over you and keep you +till we meet again."</p> + +<p>Hope watched him down the red-bricked walk, feeling that he was taking +the best part of her with him. She would have liked to go up to town +and see them sail, but she could not be spared. He left her about five +o'clock in the afternoon.</p> + +<p>The next morning she received her first letter from him.</p> + +<p>It was but a pencil note, but the contents filled her heart with rest +and quiet:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY OWN DARLING,—Just a line. Mother and I are comfortably settled in +our cabins and they're going to take the letters ashore. What can I +say! I think I will give you a verse of your favourite hymn. May it +comfort you as it is comforting me.<br> +<br> + "'Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away?<br> + In Jesus' keeping we are safe, and they.'<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 11em;">"Yours always,</span><br> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">LANCELOT."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>The words of the hymn rang in her ears for many a day after, and the +peace was given to her.</p> + +<p>Kitty looked at her and marvelled. She had a young girl's quick +insight; and she knew that Hope's very quietness, as she went about her +work, was a sign that she suffered.</p> + +<p>"It is so stupid when women get engaged," she confided to Brian, as she +was helping him feed the poultry one afternoon.</p> + +<p>"Is it?" he said, amused. "They don't seem to think so."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps not, but everybody round them does. I don't see the use of +being engaged. It's rotten. Don't laugh. If I liked a man, I would +either marry him or not marry him; I would have no stupid waiting-time, +it only makes everybody miserable."</p> + +<p>"I don't think that would answer always," said Brian, looking at her +reflectively. "Half a loaf is better than no bread! And if people can't +marry, at all events they're booked for it, and that's a comfort to +them."</p> + +<p>"But it isn't! You watch any couple who are booked, as you call it. +They're always absent and uncomfortable unless they're together. They +can think of nothing else; they lose all their enjoyments if they're +away from each other, and are quite different altogether."</p> + +<p>"Well, when your time comes, you can set an example of a speedy +marriage," said Brian, laughing.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I shan't marry at all. I'm not the stuff for it. I shall be a +strong-minded old maid, and live in a house like this, with plenty of +animals. I shall be quite content."</p> + +<p>But Brian nodded his head knowingly.</p> + +<p>"Your day will come," he said.</p> + +<p>"Rubbish!" Kitty retorted. "Don't let us talk of such things. If I +say anything about marriage, Avice looks quite shocked. 'You're too +young, Kitty, to discuss such matters.' As if there is a matter I +can't discuss at my age! And I love talking. I have such a torrent of +thoughts that it's quite a relief to let some out."</p> + +<p>"Go ahead, then," said Brian. "I'll be your safety-valve."</p> + +<p>"Let us discuss Hope. She is such a darling! I look at her sometimes +as she moves about her kitchen, and I picture her in white satin and +diamonds moving about a ballroom. Isn't it funny the difference between +people? I honestly don't care for good people. There's a Miss Baker who +lives two miles from us. You will have seen her in church. She sits +under the pulpit, with a black bonnet and a mauve feather. She really +belongs to another parish, but she quarrelled with her vicar, and has +come over to us. She talks to father like the mediæval saints in the +stained-glass windows, with her eyes rolled up, her elbows close to her +sides, and her hands clasped. Father says she may not be interesting, +but she's thoroughly good and worthy! I can't bear her. Now, Hope is +really good. I've had lots of little sermons from her, and I've really +enjoyed them. I think it is because she has such a way of smiling at +you with her eyes, as if she loved you."</p> + +<p>"Hope's all right," said Brian gruffly.</p> + +<p>"Yes," went on the warm-hearted girl. "I feel as if I should really +like to be like her. She makes you feel that serving God is not only +intensely interesting, but awfully jolly—well, perhaps that's not quite +the expression, but you know—quite the very nicest way of living! Now +Avice never makes me feel that, with all her goodness! Oh, Hope's much +too good to go out to India, or to marry!"</p> + +<p>Brian laughed out. Kitty always amused him. She would toss her red +hair over her shoulder, and her eyes would blaze and quiver with light +and earnestness. Her whole body seemed to vibrate with feeling as she +talked, and her moods were always intense and passionate.</p> + +<p>Her father wondered why she spent so many hours at the cottage, but was +quite content that she should do so; and Kitty had always one answer to +make to any objections raised.</p> + +<p>"I want to make myself useful, and I love to be with Miss St. Clair. +She does me good."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image010" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image010"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image010.jpg" alt="image010"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"I THINK YOUR NAME OUGHT TO</b><br> +<b>HAVE BEEN PEACE," SAID KITTY.</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_16">Chapter XVI</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A LONG NIGHT</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>TO Hope, the brief time she had had with Lancelot before he sailed, now +seemed like a dream. But she could write to him; she had some one to +whom she could unbosom herself, and she no longer felt her loneliness. +In spite of his absence, she was able to go about her daily duties with +a shining radiant face. Kitty said to her one day:</p> + +<p>"I think your name ought to have been Peace, there's such a look of +that in your eyes. But perhaps hope brings peace, does it?"</p> + +<p>"I think a certain hope does," rejoined Hope, looking at Kitty +thoughtfully.</p> + +<p>"Now how can hope be certain?" Kitty enjoyed an argument. "Hope always +seems to me," she went on, "to necessitate doubt. Otherwise, you would +do more than hope."</p> + +<p>"What is the dictionary definition?" said Hope. "Isn't it anticipation, +a desire or expectation? I always think our hope as Christians is +anticipation, and certain anticipation of the future fills one with +peace."</p> + +<p>"I shall never, never be filled with peace," asserted Kitty. "You +are like a sweet clear lake, and I am a hot mineral spring, always +bubbling, fizzing, and spouting, when I ought to be quiet. I am in a +perpetual fizz, and unless I can work off my energy I explode, as you +know."</p> + +<p>"But, dear Kitty, the peace is for you as well as for me."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but our natures are different."</p> + +<p>"And our circumstances," added Hope.</p> + +<p>Yet in thought she looked back, and saw herself rushing through her +London seasons, always gay, always ready for everything, and yet always +painfully restless in her spirit. She began to wonder at herself, then +she said:</p> + +<p>"My quiet life here helps me, Kitty. I have no one to worry me."</p> + +<p>"Not the imps, as I call them? You wait till their holidays begin, and +that will be in three days' time, now!"</p> + +<p>"Well, perhaps I shall find their element very disturbing, but I don't +know; nothing really touches your inner life, if it is given up to Him +Who is our peace."</p> + +<p>But Hope found that her serenity was sadly tried that Christmas, and +not being perfect by any means, it broke down more than once. The boys +were in rollicking spirits, and the tiny cottage could not contain them +sometimes. Brian set them to work sawing wood, and taking the poultry +to the railway station. He had bought the little donkey and donkey-cart +from Miss Rill, and nothing delighted the boys more than to drive it +about. But they could not be doing that every day, and Hope counted +each day, as it went by, to the end of the holidays.</p> + +<p>Christmas was a very quiet time at the cottage. Hope had no money to +spend on luxuries, and told the boys that they must expect no presents. +However, on Christmas Eve, to their astonishment, a neighbour informed +them that a hamper for them had arrived at the station, and was waiting +there to be fetched. The boys were frantic with excitement, and Brian +being away with the cart, they started off at once, and arrived an hour +later breathless and exhausted, having carried the hamper between them +the whole of the way.</p> + +<p>"It's directed to us, Hope!" they screamed, as soon as they saw her. +"And we couldn't wait, and we've opened it; and there's nothing but +parcels of all sorts in it."</p> + +<p>"You had better unpack it at once," suggested their sister; "perhaps +you will find a note from some one in it."</p> + +<p>But there was no clue. It had been sent from the Army and Navy Stores. +There were books and games for the boys, preserved fruits, chocolates, +a large iced cake, a thick soft rug for Mr. St. Clair, a book for +Brian, and in a small box a gold bracelet for Hope. The names were +printed on the respective gifts.</p> + +<p>Hope took her bracelet and walked to the window to look at it. And then +the words engraved inside told her what she had already guessed. They +were these:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"Num. vi. 24, 25, 26."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Only Lancelot could have sent her that. She went out of the room and +got hold of her Bible, and she read the words with tears dimming her +eyes.</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"The Lord bless thee and keep thee.<br> + The Lord make His face shine upon thee, and be gracious<br> + unto thee.<br> + The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee and give<br> + thee peace."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>When she told the boys who had sent the hamper, they wondered if it had +come all the way from India. Hope explained that he must have ordered +it before he left London; and his thoughtfulness in the rush of his +last day in town was very sweet to her. The hamper was a great success. +And the Christmas Day that followed, though quietly spent, was a very +happy one.</p> + +<p>Peace, the great Christmas gift, reigned in Hope's heart, and through +her was reflected on those around her. She was able to go to church in +the morning, and Kitty, who had been like a bit of quicksilver all the +week, met her outside and pressed a packet into her hand.</p> + +<p>"I'm very poor, but I sat up last night and made it for you, after we +had finished the decorations in the church. I wish it was a better +offering."</p> + +<p>It was a dainty work-bag, with her initials worked in holly-berries +across it. Kitty's clever fingers had made a great success of it, and +Hope came home feeling that she was rich in friends.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>After Christmas, there was a long spell of wet. Mr. St. Clair, who had +seemed to be improving in health, flagged again, and a doctor had to +be summoned. He looked grave, enjoined great quiet, and informed Brian +that he feared another seizure.</p> + +<p>Of course Brian carried this verdict to his sister, and some anxious +days and nights followed.</p> + +<p>Hope's spirits sank a little; the weather outside and her cares within +proved hard to combat. She watched her father anxiously, and spent the +greater part of her days in his room. Their orchard became swamped with +water, and Brian had hard work to keep his fowl-houses dry.</p> + +<p>One afternoon, Kitty arrived in great excitement. It was streaming with +rain, but she seemed impervious to weather.</p> + +<p>"Isn't this rain awful?" she said. "We have had three weeks on end; and +do you know the river is rising so high that people are afraid of it +flooding? Father can remember a flood twenty years ago. The weir burst +and overflowed. Isn't it exciting! I can't help hoping it will do it +again."</p> + +<p>"You dreadful child!" said Hope, with a smile. "You don't realise what +it would be, or you would not talk so. We should fare very badly here, +for we are close to the weir, and below the level of it."</p> + +<p>"I suppose you are. I shouldn't like you to be inconvenienced, but I +wouldn't mind our old Vicarage being flooded. We ought to get some +boats ready. There's one cottage much lower than you, and that's old +Mrs. Pitman's. She's right in a hole, and the water would be sure to +flood her. I've been up to the weir. All the village boys are watching +it, and old John Strong told me that the river has never been so high +since the last flood."</p> + +<p>"You are making me quite anxious," said Hope.</p> + +<p>Brian, standing by, laughed.</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "time enough when it comes to be that; but this +long spell of wet is bad for everything, and the wind is getting up. +There'll be a good storm to-night. I don't think you'll be troubled at +the Vicarage, Miss Kitty. You're too high up."</p> + +<p>"No," said Kitty, sadly, "I'm afraid we are. I do love a fresh +sensation. Old people talk of the flood of seventy-three. I should like +to have one to talk about when I get old!"</p> + +<p>"You won't suffer from lack of subjects to talk about!" said Brian, +looking at her with twinkling eyes.</p> + +<p>"No, life is so full. I must be going home. I just thought I would run +down and warn you. They're actually going to have a watchman by the +river to-night. Father thought it wise."</p> + +<p>Kitty disappeared, and Hope, as evening drew on, felt strangely nervous.</p> + +<p>"Do you really think there is danger?" she asked her brother, when he +came in from his evening round.</p> + +<p>He did not answer for a moment, then he said, "I've just been to the +river to have a look. If it rises a few inches higher, it will be +over its banks. I'm afraid it will be awfully serious for us. I'm +thinking of the fowls. We can't afford to lose them. And I'm more than +half-inclined to move father upstairs. I wander if we could manage it!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Brian!"</p> + +<p>Hope's tone was full of dismay.</p> + +<p>"The doctor said he must be kept so very quiet, and he has been so +restless and excited to-day. I believe it would be the finishing +stroke. And how could we get him up those narrow stairs?"</p> + +<p>"We could take him up in a blanket. Well, we can wait; Joe Garth is +watching. You'll be amused; he has got an old huntsman's horn, and if +he blows it, we shall know the weir has burst!"</p> + +<p>"I think it is quite dreadful!" said Hope. "I feel that nothing could +amuse me at this crisis."</p> + +<p>At this juncture the boys burst into the cottage. They were half an +hour late.</p> + +<p>"We've been watching the river!" Jerry cried excitedly. "The weir is +like Niagara; the water is rushing and swirling like mad. We're going +to have a flood. Everybody says so. Isn't it jolly!"</p> + +<p>"Hurrah!" shouted Toby, dancing round the kitchen. "And Joe says we'd +better look out, for the water will come straight down to us!"</p> + +<p>"Hush, boys, be quiet, because of father! I wouldn't let him hear of +this for worlds!"</p> + +<p>The little party sat down to supper, but Hope's ears were strained to +listen to the tempest that increased in violence every moment. And when +she thought of her sick helpless father, she shuddered. Brian also was +ill at ease. At last he got up from the table.</p> + +<p>"Come, youngsters," he said to his small brothers; "I'm going to move +the fowls up to the loft above the old barn at the back of us. Bring +the lantern and help me!"</p> + +<p>The boys were delighted. Hope said nothing. At another time she would +have thought of the streaming clothes she would have to dry, now she +did not seem to care. She went back to her father's room, and was glad +to find him half-asleep. The wind and rain did not disturb him. She sat +down by the window and prayed that they might be kept safely through it +all, and then she listened with beating heart to the rush of the river +in the distance. An hour had passed before Brian returned, and then he +called to Hope.</p> + +<p>She came out quickly.</p> + +<p>"We've got all the poultry safe. What do you think about father?"</p> + +<p>"He is sleeping. Don't let us disturb him unless it is absolutely +necessary."</p> + +<p>"It seems," said Brian, "that the Vicar wanted to keep the boys there +to-night. Shall we send them up? It would be a relief to get rid of +them: They're so excited that they'll never go to bed."</p> + +<p>"It would be a good thing," said Hope, "except that they are wet +through."</p> + +<p>"Oh, that doesn't matter; they would get wet again going up there. It's +coming down in torrents!"</p> + +<p>The boys had overheard this whispered discussion, and met it with a +howl of indignation. "We won't go! We shall miss all the fun; besides, +we can be so useful helping to take the furniture out!"</p> + +<p>"There'll be none of that, if there is a flood," rejoined Brian +sharply. "Give them what they want for the night, Hope, and let them go +at once!"</p> + +<p>With many protests, the boys were packed off.</p> + +<p>Hope made up the kitchen fire. Nine o'clock, ten o'clock came, and then +Brian suggested her going to bed.</p> + +<p>"I think the rain is stopping," he said. "Lie down somewhere at any +rate. I'll call you if anything happens. I shall be sitting with +father!"</p> + +<p>"I would rather be here. You see, we should have so little time. Do you +think we should be safe upstairs, Brian, if we were flooded?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes, it wouldn't be so bad as all that. At all events, we could try +it. They say they have boats ready if it comes to the worst."</p> + +<p>"It would kill father!" said Hope quietly.</p> + +<p>"I fancy it must be going down, or we should have heard the alarm +before this."</p> + +<p>Hope settled herself in the easy chair by the fire. She tried not to +think. Brian went to his father, and the cottage settled down into +perfect quiet. The ticking of the kitchen clock was the only thing that +broke the monotony of silence; occasionally a coal fell on the hearth, +and Hope found herself starting as if a pistol had been going off in +her ear. Eleven o'clock struck. Hope began to feel sleepy. Her head +nodded, and then suddenly she sprang to her feet. The horn was sounding!</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Oh, God help us!" was her prayer.<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hanging on a chair by the fire was a blanket which she had thoughtfully +placed there. She was at the door of her father's room with it on her +arm, as Brian opened it.</p> + +<p>"That's right!" he said in a whisper. "Keep cool and steady, Hope, and +we shall manage it."</p> + +<p>They went into the sick-room. Mr. St. Clair opened his eyes wonderingly +at Hope.</p> + +<p>"We're going to move you upstairs to-night, father, dear," she said, +steadying her trembling voice. "We think it will be better for you."</p> + +<p>Mr. St. Clair shook his head violently. Hope was beginning to explain +when Brian stopped her.</p> + +<p>"Act, don't talk!" he said. "We haven't a moment to lose."</p> + +<p>In an incredibly short time Brian, as deftly as any woman, had rolled +his father up in a blanket, and instructed Hope how to hold one +corner of it. It was a breathless task. The invalid got very excited, +and began to babble incoherently. The narrow staircase made it very +difficult to carry him up, but Brian seemed to have the strength of +a Hercules, and it was done at last, and Mr. St. Clair was laid upon +Hope's bed. Brian had thought it all out; he did not say so to his +sister, but her room had the biggest window, in case of the need of an +exit through it.</p> + +<p>And then, while Hope was trying to make her father comfortable, Brian +dragged upstairs all the food he could find, and a good deal of the +furniture from below. When Hope could stop to listen, she had hard work +to repress the shiver that ran through her.</p> + +<p>The roar and rush of water seemed to come nearer and nearer. She looked +out of the window, and saw by the light that came through the clouds +from the moon, a silver stream coming down a narrow lane that led up +from their orchard to the road above.</p> + +<p>And then resolutely she turned away from the sight, and gave all her +attention to her father, who was needing it. Brian was on his knees now +lighting up the fire with some kindling he had brought from the kitchen.</p> + +<p>"You'll be all right here, Hope, for a bit. You won't mind if I leave +you? I want to find out the extent of the mischief outside, and my help +may be needed."</p> + +<p>Hope's heart sank.</p> + +<p>"You won't leave us here to drown?" she said, and then she was ashamed +of herself. "We shall be all right. You will not be very long. Go by +all means."</p> + +<p>"I want to find out if a boat could be had. Of course we may not need +it, but it is well to be prepared."</p> + +<p>He went downstairs and out into the stormy night.</p> + +<p>Hope wished for a moment that she were a man.</p> + +<p>"They always have the easiest part to play, the active part," she said +to herself. "It is much harder to sit still in suspense and wait."</p> + +<p>There was a loud outburst of wind and water, Mr. St. Clair opened his +eyes, then suddenly called out:</p> + +<p>"Hope, where am I?"</p> + +<p>Hope bent over him, startled. He had not spoken for months; now she +wondered if it were a good or bad sign that he had recovered his speech.</p> + +<p>"We have moved you upstairs, father."</p> + +<p>"Why? Am I dying? Is that the rush of water I hear? Put me back in my +own bed again. At once, at once!"</p> + +<p>He spoke quickly and excitedly, and struggled to move himself.</p> + +<p>Hope tried to soothe him.</p> + +<p>"You hear the river, father; it is a stormy night. We were afraid of +the damp coming in downstairs; that was why we moved you. You are quite +comfortable, are you not? Brian will be here soon. He has just gone +out."</p> + +<p>"Is it night or day? Why'sh—all a muddle—ish oughtn't to be dark'sh—"</p> + +<p>His voice thickened and died away. He seemed to be falling asleep. +Hope did not try to rouse him, but she watched him anxiously. She did +not like the sound of his heavy breathing. And meanwhile the water was +creeping nearer and nearer; it had filtered down through the orchard, +it had reached the cottage door, and was washing and lapping against +the doorposts like the waves of the sea. Hope opened the casement +window cautiously, but only the roar of the wind and the rush of the +water met her ears. She shut it hastily, then leaving her father for a +moment, went down the narrow stairs into the kitchen.</p> + +<p>She stared, candle in hand, at the threshold. The water was pouring in, +the swirling, sucking sound of it as it found its way under the door +made her shudder. She snatched up a few of her books that were lying on +the window-sill and went upstairs again.</p> + +<p>"It's a gruesome experience!" she thought. "I wonder if we were wise to +move father up here! What shall I do if the water rises to us! It is so +dreadful to be tied here, and yet, of course, father was unfit to be +carried further."</p> + +<p>She peered out of the window again, but the clouds had obscured the +moon, and she could see nothing. Then she heard the bleating of sheep, +and fancied she could distinguish men's voices above the raging storm. +She paced her bedroom softly, praying for quietness of spirit, and +every moment or two she would listen to the lap and splash of the +water below. Soon she went out to the staircase again, and to her +horror found the water had filled the kitchen and was slowly but surely +mounting the stairs. Then she set herself the task of timing its rise. +There were twelve steps. She found it took ten minutes to cover one of +them. If it went on rising at that same rate, the water would reach +them in two hours' time. Then if Brian were not back, what should she +do?</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image011" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image011"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image011.jpg" alt="image011"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>THE WATER WAS SLOWLY BUT SURELY</b><br> +<b>MOUNTING THE STAIRS.</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Would he never return? She felt angry with him for deserting her at +such a crisis.</p> + +<p>Again Mr. St. Clair spoke, and this time she had to bend her head and +listen, though his words were perfectly clear.</p> + +<p>"Read me the Bible."</p> + +<p>Thankfully she sat down and obeyed. She turned to the Psalms for the +evening. Was it merely a coincidence that she should have to read the +121st Psalm?</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence<br> + cometh my help.<br> + My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and<br> + earth.<br> + He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: He that keepeth<br> + thee will not slumber.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>And so on to the end. As she repeated the last verse—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'The Lord shall preserve thy going out, and thy coming<br> + in, from this time forth, and even for evermore,'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>her father repeated drowsily:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Even for evermore.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope bent over him, a little anxious at his tone. He was lying back +peacefully, but when she asked him if she could do anything for him, he +did not reply. She hoped from his breathing that he was settling off to +sleep again, and once more she went to the top of the stairs.</p> + +<p>The rise of the water fascinated her. She went into the boys' room, and +flung the window wide open. Here she had a more extensive view than in +her own room, but it was not a reassuring one. Everywhere round the +cottage was a shining expanse of water, the apple-trees looked ghostly +as they reared their gnarled trunks and leafless boughs out of the +water. Hope almost imagined they were human creatures raising their +limbs and crying out for help. The cottage was so much in a hollow +that no other house was in sight; she looked in vain for a twinkling +light that might tell her of a lantern approaching. At last she closed +the window with a weary sigh, but as she did so, a sudden rift in the +clouds disclosed the silver moon, and Hope took it as an omen for good. +Looking upwards she repeated:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. +My help cometh from the Lord.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>And she went back to her father with a smile upon her lips, and peace +in her heart.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_17">Chapter XVII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>HOMELESS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>STILL the water mounted. Would Brian never come, and would the night +never end? After a time, Hope began to fear lest something had happened +to her brother. She eyed the window nervously and apprehensively. +That, and that only, was their means of exit now, unless the water +sank as quickly as it had risen. She went once more to the stairs, and +found it was nearly to the top. Then she feared that the old walls +of the cottage might be so undermined with the water that it would +all collapse. She shook the casement window. Brian had brought up his +toolbox, so she very deliberately began to loosen the hinges and the +frame. She was thankful the wood was so old and rotten that it gave +away under her blows. Her father seemed unconscious of the noise, and +indeed the storm of wind and rain that still shrieked down the chimneys +and round the cottage drowned everything else.</p> + +<p>"They must come to our rescue," she repeated to herself; and then, as +she raised her eyes for the hundredth time, she saw lanterns flashing +in the distance. She caught her breath in suspense.</p> + +<p>Were they coming towards the cottage? Would they pass her by? And then +with relief and thankfulness she heard Brian's shout, and the splash +of oars. They were coming along the road in a boat. Every now and then +obstacles got in their way, and they were caught in trees and bushes; +but once she was convinced that rescue was near, she began to make her +preparations. When they eventually reached the window, Brian looked up.</p> + +<p>"I have been delayed, but I never thought the water would rise so +rapidly. Are you ready? We have a ladder; I will come up."</p> + +<p>It seemed only a few minutes now before Brian and the two men with him +accomplished the rescue. It was a difficult task carrying Mr. St. Clair +down, and when he was in the boat, Brian bent over him anxiously.</p> + +<p>"He is bad!" he said shortly to Hope.</p> + +<p>"I am afraid he is. I don't like his breathing. He seems quite +unconscious; but he has spoken quite plainly twice."</p> + +<p>No more was said. It was as much as the men could do to steer the boat +safely along. Hope looked back at the cottage.</p> + +<p>"Are we leaving it to its fate?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"We must till the morning. This will mean ruin to a good many besides +ourselves."</p> + +<p>"Where can we go?"</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Goddles' cottage is safe, being above the level of the river. She +is prepared to take you in."</p> + +<p>Half an hour later, Mr. St. Clair was comfortably settled in bed in +Mrs. Goddles' best bedroom.</p> + +<p>The good woman seemed too scared to be garrulous. But when she had done +all that was required of her, and brought Hope a cup of tea, her tongue +was unloosed.</p> + +<p>"'Tis an awful visitation, miss! My 'usband, 'e be up at the weir +diggin' and workin' hisself to death. There be five cottages, bottom +end of village, covered right up; 'The Crown' be crowded out with the +women and children; an' Mr. Brian have covered 'imself with glory this +night. He have saved life after life! He swims like a fish, and is so +hard an' strong. Why, the men have bin takin' his orders right through. +Dr. Rush come along an hour gone. 'Doctor,' says I, 'the work be nearly +done, an' the waters, accordin' to Scripture, be abatin'.' 'E says—"</p> + +<p>"Stop!" cried Hope. "Is Doctor Rush in the village? Can we find him? He +ought to see my father."</p> + +<p>Brian had gone out again. Dawn was breaking, and there was plenty of +work for him, for the damage to cattle and crops was great, and the +farmers and villagers were working hard, trying to save all they could.</p> + +<p>"He be gone to old Squire Spencer. My 'usband 'ave been in an' told me +it all. T' old Squire went down to his stables, an' the river bursted +an' caught him betwixt the stable an' the house; an' he climbed a tree, +the Squire did; but 'e hollers, an' no one heard 'im, an' then 'e lost +his 'old an' tumbled into the water, an' 'e hollered agen an' Mr. Brian +heard 'im, an' he run along an' dashed in the water, an' took 'im on +his back, an' got 'im safe 'ome; but the old man have broke his leg, +an' Doctor Rush be with 'im now a-putting it together agen."</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said Hope. "Could any one go and tell him we want him? Could you +go, Mrs. Goddles?"</p> + +<p>"If so be the water will keep out of my way. 'Usband, 'e says we be +ten foot out o' danger, but what the road will be like I can't reckon. +Any-ways, I'll have a try, for I be likely to get the news, an' that be +worth 'earin'!"</p> + +<p>She put on her bonnet and cloak and departed.</p> + +<p>Again it was Hope's duty to watch by her father's bedside. It seemed to +her as if the past night had been one long nightmare; she even now felt +as if she might wake up and find it all a dream.</p> + +<p>A man presently ran by in the road.</p> + +<p>"'Tis over, the river be easin' down," he said, as he saw Hope's head +at the window.</p> + +<p>She heaved a sigh of relief.</p> + +<p>Before very long Mrs. Goddles returned with the doctor. He came +straight in, and without a word went to Mr. St. Clair's bedside.</p> + +<p>"I can't rouse him," said Hope; "he has been in this stupor for quite +two hours. I'm afraid the move was too much for him."</p> + +<p>"I expect it was," Dr. Rush said gravely. Then he looked at Hope in +silence for a minute.</p> + +<p>"You never will rouse him now," he said, "he is sinking fast!"</p> + +<p>Hope's heart nearly stopped beating; she could not believe it.</p> + +<p>"He spoke to me in the night twice! Surely he cannot be dying, Doctor? +Oh, where is Brian?"</p> + +<p>"I will try to find him, and send him to you. There is nothing to be +done. I will come in again shortly. It has been a terrible business, +this flood!"</p> + +<p>"But surely you will do something?" Hope asked desperately.</p> + +<p>"There is nothing to be done," was the quiet reply. "He does not +suffer, and the end will be peaceful."</p> + +<p>Hope put her head into her hands and burst into tears. The suspense of +the long night had thoroughly unnerved her.</p> + +<p>"I will send your brother to you," Dr. Rush repeated, and he left the +cottage.</p> + +<p>Poor Hope struggled for composure. She felt as if an end had come to +everything. Mrs. Goddles stood looking at her as if she hardly knew +what to say.</p> + +<p>"The poor dear gentleman!" she ejaculated at last. "Well, I ain't one +o' those who object to corpses in the house; the last one—"</p> + +<p>Hope broke away from her, shuddering, and locked herself into the +bedroom with her dying father. She opened the door a little later to +Brian. He was wet to the skin, his clothes saturated and heavy with +water, and his whole appearance dishevelled and weary.</p> + +<p>"I must change," he whispered, "if I can get a dry suit of clothes from +Mrs. Goddles, and then I will come to you."</p> + +<p>He stood for a second looking down upon his father with tender pitying +eyes. Then he disappeared, and when he came in again he was attired in +Bob Goddles' black broadcloth Sunday suit. Hope could have laughed, if +she had not been so sad, at the comical figure he cut.</p> + +<p>Together brother and sister watched by the inanimate form of their +father. Occasionally a whispered word passed between them. Hope told +Brian of her father's last words.</p> + +<p>"I so little thought they would be his last. I suppose he knew more +than I did that he was going to pass so soon from us, 'Even for +evermore.'"</p> + +<p>Two hours afterwards Mr. St. Clair quietly drew his last breath, and +Brian persuaded Hope to go into another room and take a rest. "Mrs. +Goddles and I will do everything that is necessary. You have been up +all night. Try to get some sleep."</p> + +<p>"The boys?" said Hope wearily.</p> + +<p>"I will go to the Vicarage. They will have to stay there for the +present. I'm sure the Vicar will keep them."</p> + +<p>Hope said no more. She was physically and mentally worn out. She threw +herself upon a small iron bed in the little attic room, and sleep came +mercifully to her at once. It was late in the afternoon when she awoke, +and then there was much to decide and arrange with her brother.</p> + +<p>The village, though still inundated in its low parts, was rapidly +recovering from the excitement into which it had been thrown. The water +was ebbing fast away, for a band of willing workers had cut channels +through the low-lying fields that took the water back to the river +lower down. Only one death had occurred besides Mr. St. Clair's, and +that was a baby of a few weeks old, who had been dropped by its mother +in her frantic flight, and had in falling struck its head against a +stone and expired instantly. But numbers of sheep had been drowned, and +several young bullocks.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>In a day or two, all signs of the flood had disappeared. But King's +Dell Cottage was too damp to live in. Hope and Brian found lodgings +with Mrs. Goddles, whilst the boys were made at home in the Vicarage. +Mr. St. Clair's funeral was a very quiet one. After it was over, Hope +and Brian began to discuss the future. Their father's lawyer came down +from town, and he read the will that Mr. St. Clair had made the first +week he landed in England. To Hope's dismay, there was absolutely +no mention of her in it. Everything was left to Brian to be equally +divided between himself and his brothers. It was but a very small sum, +something under £3,000, and when Brian turned apologetically to his +sister, saying:</p> + +<p>"You see, father was entirely persuaded that Aunt Gertrude would +provide for you."</p> + +<p>She smiled and said:</p> + +<p>"It is not enough to divide at all, Brian. I am so glad you have it."</p> + +<p>"Well," he said, "of course you'll be going out to India soon."</p> + +<p>"And will you go back to Canada?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I think so. Our cottage is such a wreck, and it's such hard work +in England, that I'll sell it cheap to any one who wants it."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Hope, "don't give it up yet. I feel it will be a harbour of +refuge for me. There is no rent to pay, and we have the furniture, and +we have still the poultry."</p> + +<p>The lawyer went back to town, and the next morning Hope went over to +the cottage. Brian had received a summons to go to Mr. Spencer, so she +went alone.</p> + +<p>It was a sad sight. The orchard was a sea of mud and water; the +fowl-houses had all been swept away. Several apple-trees had been +rooted up. All Brian's careful tilling of the soil for vegetables had +come to nothing; the kitchen smelt and reeked with damp, tables and +chairs had become unglued and lay about the floor in bits, bedding and +small knick-knacks had been washed out of the windows upon the grass; +the red-bricked path was the only thing that seemed to have stood the +raging flood.</p> + +<p>Hope stood, feeling the desolation of it keenly. And then a fresh young +voice sounded in her ear. "Miss St. Clair, please don't look so sad! I +haven't had any talk with you alone yet since that dreadful flood! May +I stay with you a little, or would you rather be alone?"</p> + +<p>Hope turned and kissed Kitty affectionately.</p> + +<p>"We have been in such trouble, dear. I'm afraid I have been selfish. I +can't tell you how good it is of you to keep the boys at the Vicarage. +I hope they give no trouble."</p> + +<p>"No, I see they don't. They're awfully frightened of me, I can tell +you. I locked the imps in that night. Oh, how splendid your brother +was! Did you know all he did?"</p> + +<p>"I was too much engrossed with—"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I forgot. Forgive me, and though I can't spout sympathy like +Avice, I really am awfully sorry for you. I little thought what +tragedy would be mixed up with my time of excitement. And death is so +dreadful, it seems so horribly unnatural; and of course you're missing +him awfully, only I suppose he is having a much better time where he +is, isn't he? I can't talk religion, but you'll remember all that, of +course. Oh, you dear, do let me give you a hug; and be sure to send me +off if I worry you!"</p> + +<p>Hope was smiling through her tears. She drew Kitty's arm in hers, and +walked up and down the path, the only dry spot for their feet.</p> + +<p>"You're doing me good already. I won't be miserable. Death is not +horrible when you have hope through it for others."</p> + +<p>"Do you know that it was just a chance I'm not dead?" said Kitty +solemnly. "Do let me tell you. Of course I didn't go to bed that night, +and I slipped out of the house directly I heard the horn. You see, I +was dreadfully uneasy about old Mrs. Pitman, for I knew if the dam +burst by the weir, she would be flooded at once. So I tore off to her, +and sure enough the water was rushing into her little garden and all +round her house. She was in bed and asleep, poor old thing. You've no +idea what a business it was to wake her and dress her. She wouldn't +understand, and when the water at last came into her kitchen, then she +insisted upon being dressed in her very best.</p> + +<p>"'And my boots, me dear,' she said—'my Sunday 'lastic boots, they wants +a deal o' pulling. I gen'elly allows half-hour to that, for me feet are +so tender!'</p> + +<p>"When I'd got her out, we had to wade through the water up to our +knees. And then the poor old thing tumbled down, and a rush and swirl +of water carried her clean away from me. I saw her being washed away +in the current; I was so thankful I could swim, for I followed her and +caught hold of her, and then managed to get her up on the top of a +hayrick, which was half under water.</p> + +<p>"We sat on the top and shouted for help, and the water got higher and +higher. Then I heard your brother's voice. He told me to hold on, for +he was coming, but he couldn't get his boat very near us, for there was +a huge hedge between. So he got out and swam to us, and took old Mrs. +Pitman on his back in safety to his boat. Then he came back for me, but +before he could reach me, a great rushing wave swept me off and carried +me with the current just like Mrs. Pitman had gone. I struggled, but +it was no good, and then I felt I was drowning, and then in the nick +of time your brother gripped hold of me. I was so thankful, and so +grateful to him, for I made quite sure I was going to die. They say +in the village he saved quite a dozen people altogether, Mr. Spencer +included. He is quite a hero!"</p> + +<p>"I wish I had known," said Hope regretfully; "I had hard thoughts of +him when he left me."</p> + +<p>"He didn't forget you, for he kept saying, 'I must get back to Hope.' +Oh, dear, when it comes, I don't think a flood at all nice. The mud and +wet everywhere is awful, and what a ruin your pretty little cottage is! +Don't you feel inclined to cry over it? Shall we light some fires and +try to dry it up?"</p> + +<p>"I thought of doing that, but there are no dry sticks anywhere. +Everything is soaked with the water."</p> + +<p>"When are you coming back to it?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know our plans," Hope said sadly. "Now my father has gone, +Brian wants to go back to Canada. We shall stay on with Mrs. Goddles +for the present."</p> + +<p>Kitty was singularly silent. She seemed quite dismayed with such +tidings.</p> + +<p>"I thought you would be here always," she said at last. "It's too bad, +for I do like you all so much."</p> + +<p>They did not stay much longer at the cottage, and when they parted, +Hope said:</p> + +<p>"Don't look so unhappy, Kitty. We have not gone yet; and I do not mean +to go out to Canada, it is only Brian."</p> + +<p>"Only Brian!" repeated Kitty to herself, as she walked disconsolately +home. "But then he isn't 'only Brian' to me!"</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>That same evening Hope and her brother sat in Mrs. Goddles' best +parlour over the fire, and discussed their plans for the future.</p> + +<p>"That old Spencer is a rum chap," said Brian. "What do you think he +wants me to do? To live with him and manage his farms. Be a kind of +bailiff, in fact."</p> + +<p>"But that would be a good thing, would it not?"</p> + +<p>Brian shook his head.</p> + +<p>"No, his farms are going to pieces; he's so miserly that he won't +spend one penny unless it is forced from him by law. His bailiff is +to be pitied, I can tell you! He said he would treat me like a son. I +concluded I should make my home with him and receive no wages. That +wouldn't suit me. I told him I wanted to be independent."</p> + +<p>"Poor old man!" said Hope pityingly. "I believe he has taken a fancy to +you. I hope you refused his offer nicely."</p> + +<p>"Oh, it isn't me upon whom he has fixed his fancy. It is you. He can do +nothing but talk about you. He wants you to go and see him to-morrow. +It struck me that if I and the boys go back to Canada, you will not +want to come with us, for I suppose you will go out to India to be +married very soon."</p> + +<p>"I don't know," said Hope, quietly, "what I shall do."</p> + +<p>"Well, if you had only a month or two to wait, perhaps you could listen +to his proposal. I was made to promise I would say nothing till he had +seen you himself."</p> + +<p>"I am afraid I would not agree to any proposal," said Hope proudly. +"Mr. Spencer is a complete stranger to me."</p> + +<p>Then she was ashamed of herself.</p> + +<p>"Tell me," she said gently, "what you think of doing with the boys. +Father was so anxious they should have an English training."</p> + +<p>"I know, but how can we give it to them? There's no money to spare. As +it is, I shall have hard work to get sufficient for our passages. If +you had not been going to be married—"</p> + +<p>He paused.</p> + +<p>"Well, in that case what would you have done?"</p> + +<p>"I think I should have struggled on with our poultry for a bit."</p> + +<p>"And why are you in such a hurry to leave it?"</p> + +<p>"Because it will be so expensive to put all the outbuildings together +again. And as none of us mean to live there eventually, the sooner we +clear out the better. Have you written to Dane?"</p> + +<p>"No," Hope said. "The mail does not go till to-morrow, and I am +expecting to hear from him."</p> + +<p>"Can you go round to the old Squire to-morrow?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; if he really expects me, I must."</p> + +<p>Silence fell between them, which Hope broke by getting up from her seat.</p> + +<p>"I am very tired, Brian, so I think I will go to bed. Good-night!"</p> + +<p>She went upstairs to her tiny attic room, then bolted her door and gave +way to tears.</p> + +<p>"I don't know what I shall do! Brian evidently wants to do nothing for +me. I am absolutely penniless, and I cannot rush off to Lancelot at +a moment's notice. I can't bear Brian's eagerness for me to see Mr. +Spencer. I will not accept any favour from him. If only I could do +something to earn my living! How helpless and forlorn I feel! And what +would I not give for Lancelot at this moment!"</p> + +<p>Then her eyes fell upon her Bible. She took it up, and in reading +her evening portion and in pouring out her troubles to the One who +was ordering all things for her, she was comforted. She fell asleep +repeating to herself:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown?<br> + Jesus we know, and He is on the throne.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_18">Chapter XVIII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>HOPE'S Indian letter came to her the next morning, but the contents +filled her with dismay.</p> + +<p>Lancelot told her that he had just been appointed to another district. +It was only a temporary appointment, to take the place of a man who had +been granted a year's sick-leave, but he had no choice in the matter.</p> + +<p>"It is very trying," he said, "for the climate is an unhealthy one, +and there are only three months out of the year that my mother can +be with me. She has fortunately fallen in with very old friends of +hers, who have invited her to stay with them for the present. They are +delighted to have her, but she and I are disappointed at our necessary +separation."</p> + +<p>Hope sat with the letter before her in absolute despair.</p> + +<p>"Every one is failing me. Of course he does not know how I am situated, +and I will not let him know how I was depending upon soon going out +to him. What can I do? I must rouse myself and settle something. I +must, when writing, be able to tell him that I am comfortably settled +somewhere!"</p> + +<p>She felt at present she could not read this to Brian. Her nerves were +on edge; she dreaded lest he should think she would be a burden on his +hands.</p> + +<p>"I have indeed fallen between two stools," she thought. "No money from +my aunt; no money from my father. I suppose there are other women in my +plight. And I am young and strong. There must be some way of earning my +living. It is evident that Lancelot will not think of marriage for at +least a year, and I would do anything rather than force his hand. How I +wish I had some friend to advise me!"</p> + +<p>She ran over in her mind's eye her different friends.</p> + +<p>May Fosberry was abroad with her parents. Jim Horrocks was not the +person to take into her confidence. The Chesneys, with the exception of +Hester, had rather cooled off in their friendship since she had been at +King's Dell. Kitty Parr was very dear and nice, but a thorough child; +and poor Hope came to the conclusion that her pride would not let her +ask any one's help and advice. When she was in society with her aunt, +she had had many friends; now she was in seclusion and poverty they had +most of them disappeared.</p> + +<p>She roused herself at last.</p> + +<p>"I will go and see Mr. Spencer. I promised Brian that I would."</p> + +<p>It was a bright sunny morning, with a touch of frost in the air. After +the long, wet and relaxing, humid atmosphere, it was delicious to feel +the keen bracing wind that met her as she walked along. She had never +been to Mr. Spencer's house before. He had, in his eccentric fashion, +altered the name of it from "The Hall" to "The Retreat." He told Brian +that the very name of "The Hall" made people consider him richer than +he was, and much less would be expected from him if he did away with +the name. As she walked in at the rusty iron gates and noted the empty +half-ruined lodge, the moss-grown drive, and the unkempt shrubberies, a +sudden chill foreboding seemed to overshadow her.</p> + +<p>Then she looked up to the blue sky, and into her eyes crept an +indescribable peace.</p> + +<p>"'Jesus I know, and He is on the throne,'" she repeated softly to +herself; "He rules me and my future. I will trust myself to Him."</p> + +<p>"The Retreat" was an ugly, square, ivy-covered building. Half the +windows were shuttered. When she rang the bell, it seemed to echo +through empty passages, and for a long time she stood on the doorstep +waiting to be admitted. At last, an old woman appeared, who regarded +her curiously.</p> + +<p>"Yes, we knows the master wants to see you. This way, mum!"</p> + +<p>She led her along a dark and dusty oak-panelled hall. At the extreme +end was a curtained door, and the next minute she was ushered into the +old Squire's study and living-room.</p> + +<p>It presented a very comfortless and untidy aspect. The square table in +the middle of the room was covered with books and papers; a tray of +whisky-and-water and some medicine-bottles were also upon it.</p> + +<p>Guns, a few sporting prints, and foxes' brushes hung upon the walls. +In an easy chair by the fire, with his bandaged leg upon a bench, sat +Mr. Spencer. He had a red silk handkerchief round his throat instead +of a collar. An old corduroy shooting-coat, patched tweed breeches, +and coarse blue woollen stockings, with carpet slippers on his feet, +completed his attire.</p> + +<p>Hope's dainty taste felt repulsion at the sight of him and his +surroundings.</p> + +<p>He looked at her with kindliness dawning in his eyes.</p> + +<p>"The farmer's daughter!" he said, with a smile. "Ay, you humoured me +that day, but I've learnt more about you since. You seem to have been +in a peck of troubles, and I dare say you feel they couldn't be much +worse. The young always think they're at the end of everything when +trouble comes. The old look upon it as a necessary routine through +which to pass. I've as much to put up with as you, at present. For a +broken leg at my time of life means a long period of incapacity. You, +at least, have health and strength left to you."</p> + +<p>Hope's feelings underwent a change, and her smile was bright as she +replied:</p> + +<p>"Yes, and I'm thankful for my mercies."</p> + +<p>"That brother of yours did me a good turn," the old man went on, "so +I'm anxious to do you one. If it hadn't been for him, I should be in +my grave at present. Perhaps I was meant to be. I may have cheated +Death of his rights, and many would say I would be as well out of the +world as in it. It's astonishing how one clings to life, though it has +treated one shabbily."</p> + +<p>Hope looked sympathetic, but she did not speak.</p> + +<p>He regarded her earnestly.</p> + +<p>"Would you like to hear my experience of life?"</p> + +<p>"Indeed I should."</p> + +<p>"Some folk envy me my wealth. Wealth, God pity them! But there was a +time when I thought a bit of property a fine thing. I was very young +then, the youngest of four brothers and three sisters. My father was a +country parson with a family too big for his stipend. My mother stinted +and screwed and kept us out of debt, but died from the exertion of +it, and then we all went to pot, as the boys would say—you know the +style. Living as we liked, and having a reckoning-day occasionally, +when things would be sold to pay the pressing creditors. My father +died before I was out of my teens, and then we scattered; I went up to +a bank in London. I was a bit of a prig, but I never could forget my +mother's deathbed.</p> + +<p>"'Alan,' she said to me—I was her Benjamin—'never live beyond your +income. Debt is to be feared worse than death!'</p> + +<p>"And I acted up to my light accordingly. I did not make friends in +consequence. A young fellow who has no money to spend, and is careful, +is always rated low. I had a favourite sister, an invalid. I saved +enough out of my second year's salary to send her to the South of +France. Then I got engaged to a girl—a doctor's daughter, and as sweet +a creature as they're made. I saved up for our marriage, and I worked +hard for four years; then she grew tired of waiting and threw me over +for a wine-merchant's son—married him at once.</p> + +<p>"Even then my mother's words were my salvation. I didn't go to the +dogs, but I chucked up my berth and went out to America. I worked on a +ranch, and when all my brothers died, this old house came to me. I took +possession of it, and I hadn't a soul who cared enough for me to live +with me."</p> + +<p>"Are all your relations dead?"</p> + +<p>"There's one of my sisters somewhere, but I've lost sight of her, and +don't know her whereabouts. Why am I telling you this? Simply to show +you that a careful abstemious life is second nature to me. I've saved +all my life, and I try to save now. I'm not a rich man, and won't fling +my money about. So folks hate me."</p> + +<p>"Oh no!"</p> + +<p>Hope's tone was soft and pitiful.</p> + +<p>"I'm a miserable, lonely, old man," he went on; "I sit here all day +long without a soul to speak to. Hadley and his wife talk me over in +the kitchen together in the evening. I've heard them. They think that +by sticking to me they'll come in for a legacy. The liking that any one +professes to have for me is due to their expectations. Can any one be +in a worse plight than that? To be thought an encumbrance whilst one +lives, and one's death the greatest blessing of all! I tell you, I'm a +miserable old man, and I sit here all day and think about it!"</p> + +<p>Hope did not speak for a moment; then she said gently:</p> + +<p>"I suppose money itself can never be a blessing; it is only in the +spending of it!"</p> + +<p>Mr. Spencer's brows contracted, and he glared at her.</p> + +<p>"Are you a spendthrift?" he said. "I thought you otherwise!"</p> + +<p>"I haven't had much to spend," said Hope, smiling. "At least, I have +not—lately. A year ago, I spent carelessly. You see I have looked +at life from both ends, and I know that you can be happy in any +circumstances."</p> + +<p>"You could not be happy in mine."</p> + +<p>"I don't know that I could not."</p> + +<p>"I suppose you're like all the rest, you think you'd love to have the +handling of my poor income."</p> + +<p>"No," said Hope, decidedly. "My happiness is independent of that. I +dare say you can guess—my brother has told you—that we are not exactly +in an enviable position at present. We have no home, and no means to +provide one, and yet—may I say the little verse that keeps ringing in +my head:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown?<br> + Jesus we know, and He is on the throne.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"Oh, religion!"</p> + +<p>His tone was scoffing. "I want none of that."</p> + +<p>"Then you'll live and die miserable," said Hope.</p> + +<p>There was silence.</p> + +<p>Then he spoke in a different tone.</p> + +<p>"Look here. You say you could be happy in my circumstances. I've sent +for you to-day to come and teach me how to be. I told your brother that +I would treat you like a daughter. You've no home. I offer you one. +I only want you to talk to me; to brighten up the house; to see that +Mrs. Hadley does her duty. And I'll give you a little pocket-money. All +girls need that. Will you come?"</p> + +<p>Hope's first inclination was to laugh, then vexation took the place of +amusement. So this was what Brian meant when he seemed so eager for her +visit. How could she best decline his proposal without offending him? +she wondered. The very idea of living with him was repellent to her, +much as she pitied him.</p> + +<p>"Thank you very much, Mr. Spencer. It is kind of you to make me such +an offer. But I could not accept it; for if I go anywhere, it must be +where I can earn my living."</p> + +<p>He glanced at her quickly and sharply, with eyes of suspicion.</p> + +<p>"You are mercenary! My offer is not good enough. I said I would give +you pocket-money. I will give you fifteen pounds a year. I consider +that a handsome allowance, for you will have no expenses, and I +remember when I was a young bank clerk in London I dressed on that +myself."</p> + +<p>Hope rose from her seat. She was but human, and the old man's tone was +offensive.</p> + +<p>"No," she said, a little haughtily. "I am afraid I must decline your +handsome offer. Good morning."</p> + +<p>She made her exit swiftly, and as she went down the mossy drive, her +heart was in a tumult and tears were in her eyes.</p> + +<p>"It is dreadful to be poor, to be in such a position that a man of +that sort can patronise one! Oh, I would rather beg in the streets +than accept his bounty! Fifteen pounds a year! Doled out in shillings, +perhaps. Why, I used to give fifteen pounds for a single dress in town! +What shall I do? I must have another talk to Brian."</p> + +<p>On the way back to Mrs. Goddles' cottage, she thought she would like to +look in at what had been her home. She fancied she might, perhaps, find +Brian there, and she was not disappointed.</p> + +<p>Going up the garden path she saw him talking to a stranger in the +porch. He looked relieved when he saw her.</p> + +<p>"Here you are!" he called out to her. "You're just the person to give +some information. This gentleman wants to know how long it is since +Miss Rill departed, and where she is now."</p> + +<p>Hope looked at the stranger.</p> + +<p>He was a tall thin man, with stooping shoulders and grey hair. +Spectacles hid his eyes, but he seemed nervous and ill at ease. He was +clad in a shabby frock-coat and a tall hat. For a moment Hope wondered +if she could classify him. He was something between a scholar and a +chapel dignitary, she decided.</p> + +<p>He turned towards her and lifted his hat politely.</p> + +<p>"I read an account in the papers of the flood in this part," he said. +"I used to live here, and I came down to have a look at the old +neighbourhood again. It seemed to bring a good deal back to me. I was +afraid the lady who lived here might be incommoded, possibly turned +out by the water, but I find my fears were groundless. She no longer +resides here."</p> + +<p>"No," said Hope, the quick colour coming to her checks as she instantly +guessed the stranger's identity.</p> + +<p>"Miss Rill sold the place to us. She did not seem able to settle down; +she was restless. I fancy she was very lonely here. She went up to +London."</p> + +<p>The stranger looked about him, and patted the red-brick path nervously +with his foot.</p> + +<p>"It is a peaceful little spot," he said. "I hear you are giving it up. +Would you let me buy it from you? I am looking about for a cottage to +settle down in. I should like this for—for I have associations with it!"</p> + +<p>"We should be very glad to sell," said Brian, in his most business-like +tone. "You will see what damage the water has done; but I think a very +little expenditure would put it all right again. Would you like to go +over the house?"</p> + +<p>"Yes—yes, I should."</p> + +<p>He followed Brian indoors. Hope stood where she was, wondering if he +were the maker of the path, and if the end of a romance was being +unfolded before her eyes.</p> + +<p>The stranger gave Brian his name as Robert Manners, and Hope instantly +remembered it.</p> + +<p>She watched him walk round the orchard afterwards with her brother, and +when eventually they came back to her, she spoke.</p> + +<p>"I expect you knew Miss Rill, Mr. Manners?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," he replied quietly, "I did."</p> + +<p>"I suppose you have not come across her in London? It seemed such a +strange step for her to take at her time of life, and I am not sure +whether it will prove a wise one. I should not like to think of her as +being cheated by sharp landladies, and perhaps neglected. She has no +knowledge of town life and its ways, and has no friends to help her."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image012" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image012"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image012.jpg" alt="image012"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>SHE GAVE HIM MISS RILL'S ADDRESS.</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"Where is she staying?"</p> + +<p>He asked it a little indifferently. Hope began to think he had +forgotten his old love, and was vexed with him in consequence. But she +gave him Miss Rill's address, and felt she could do no more. Then, when +he had left them, she turned to her brother eagerly.</p> + +<p>"Have you sold it to him?"</p> + +<p>"I fancy so, though he hasn't actually clinched the bargain. He has +offered me two hundred for it."</p> + +<p>"Has he really? I suppose we must not refuse his offer. It will pay +your passage-money, Brian."</p> + +<p>"It belongs to you. Your pearls bought the place."</p> + +<p>"Ah, but I cannot take it back. You said this morning that you did not +know what to do, as the capital of father's money is all tied up, and +you can't get the interest of it at present."</p> + +<p>"No, worse luck! Hope, have you seen old Spencer?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, but I really cannot do what he wants?"</p> + +<p>"Why not? I thought it would be the very thing—just till you go out to +India."</p> + +<p>"But I heard this morning that I cannot go out for a year."</p> + +<p>"Good gracious!"</p> + +<p>Brian's tone was full of genuine dismay.</p> + +<p>"You need not trouble about me," she said reassuringly. "I had thought +of asking you to let me live on in the cottage. I believe by this time +I could manage the poultry. Kitty has taught me a lot. But I suppose we +ought not to refuse such a good offer for it."</p> + +<p>"No, the money will be more useful to you than the cottage."</p> + +<p>"I cannot take it."</p> + +<p>"You must."</p> + +<p>"Let us halve it."</p> + +<p>And at last it was settled that they should do so.</p> + +<p>"One hundred pounds," said Hope to herself. "Well, that will surely +keep me from want for a twelvemonth."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_19">Chapter XIX</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>BOY AND GIRL</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>MR. MANNERS paid Brian the two hundred pounds, and took possession of +the cottage. Hope thought it was all strangely pathetic. He looked like +a fish out of water in his surroundings, for he had been so long in +London that he had lost his country ways.</p> + +<p>She passed by one day, and found him working in the garden in his tall +silk hat; but she also noticed that his way of handling the plants was +that of a garden-lover; and once she saw him raise a little piece of +yellow jasmine upon the porch to his lips.</p> + +<p>She turned away, afraid that he might see her.</p> + +<p>"He has not outgrown his sentiment," she thought; and amidst all her +intense anxiety about her own future, Miss Rill and her old lover +occupied a big place in her thoughts.</p> + +<p>Brian and she had a long discussion over Mr. Spencer's proposal.</p> + +<p>"I can't think why, as a woman, you don't humour him."</p> + +<p>"You refused to stay with him."</p> + +<p>"That is different. Your stay would be only a temporary one. I pity the +old fellow from the bottom of my heart. Nobody cares a rap about him, +and he knows it. I should have thought your woman's heart would have +been touched by him."</p> + +<p>"So it was, but I cannot see that it is my duty to be his housekeeper."</p> + +<p>Brian shrugged his shoulders, and Hope began to feel uncomfortable. +As she had the hundred pounds, she could well afford to go to him for +simply her board and lodging. She began to turn it over in her mind. +Was she right to refuse an opportunity of brightening his life and +befriending him, perhaps influencing him for good for the rest of his +life? She pondered, and prayed about it. She knew that if Brian took +his two small brothers out to Canada with him, he and they would want +every penny of the small sum of money they had in hand. She asked him +if he was certain that he could provide a home for Jerry and Toby.</p> + +<p>"Won't they cripple you, when you first go out there? How can you +provide for them when you do not know for certain where you are going?"</p> + +<p>"Ah, but I know a woman who will look after them and send them to +school with her boys. She wanted to keep them altogether when we were +coming home, only father wouldn't hear of it. We have a lot of friends +out there, and every one gives one a helping hand. It is so different +here."</p> + +<p>Hope sadly thought of the few friends she possessed who would offer her +a helping hand at this juncture. Brian suggested her coming with them +for a year, but she could not consent to do that. Her passage-money +alone would be more than she could afford. For a week she thought over +Mr. Spencer's offer; and then one morning she told Brian that she was +going to accept it.</p> + +<p>"I know you will be relieved," she said. "I can but leave if I find it +is an impossible life; but I think I shall be doing right to give it a +trial."</p> + +<p>Brian went up to "The Retreat" with a light heart, to carry the news to +the old Squire.</p> + +<p>"He's a queer old chap," he said to Hope; "he seemed quite upset to +think you were coming to him—had tears in his eyes. I think you'll do +him a world of good. I shall hear of him giving tea-parties, when once +you're settled there."</p> + +<p>The days slipped quickly by. Hope was very busy mending and making +clothes for the two small boys, in which task Kitty participated. She +was delighted that she would not lose her friend, but told Hope frankly +that she would be miserable with Mr. Spencer.</p> + +<p>"He will starve you. He only has two pounds of meat for the whole week. +Our butcher told me so; and he has no fires in winter, and no blankets +on the beds. Oh, I've heard all about his establishment from a village +girl who went up there to help Mrs. Hadley when she had been ill. Why +do you go to him? You are too good to live! Why don't you come and stay +with us? We should be proud to have you!"</p> + +<p>Hope laughed at her. And then, whilst they were still discussing Mr. +Spencer's "ménage," Brian came into the room.</p> + +<p>Kitty appealed to him.</p> + +<p>"Does Hope look as if she is fit to live on a quarter of a pound of +meat a week? Why, I can almost see through her now!"</p> + +<p>"Ah, well," said Brian, "we don't always have meat in the colonies."</p> + +<p>"What do you live upon?"</p> + +<p>"Bacon, porridge, potatoes, Indian corn."</p> + +<p>"Lovely!"</p> + +<p>Kitty's face was quite radiant.</p> + +<p>"I know you do yourselves very well, and when you kill a sheep, you +have meat five times a day, to make up for your vegetarian time."</p> + +<p>Hope went out of the room to fetch something. Brian sat down in her +chair, and looked at Kitty across the table.</p> + +<p>"You think a colonial life play," he said.</p> + +<p>"Do I? I know it is hard work, but it's healthy happy work, and makes +men of good-for-nothing-boys who go out there."</p> + +<p>"What would it make of you, if you came out there?"</p> + +<p>Brian's eyes were twinkling, but there was purpose in his tone.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm ready made," retorted Kitty, laughingly; "I don't want any +more training."</p> + +<p>Brian looked at her steadily for a moment or two, then he said:</p> + +<p>"Kitty, if I get a home together in a year or so, will you come out and +share it with me?"</p> + +<p>Kitty flushed a deep red, then she looked up and laughed.</p> + +<p>"Do you know that I haven't my hair up yet? Are you chaffing?"</p> + +<p>"I'm in sober earnest."</p> + +<p>Brian looked it.</p> + +<p>"But I don't know what to say. Is it really and truly a proposal of +marriage? You honestly want me to marry you?"</p> + +<p>"I honestly want you to marry me. It isn't in my line to play the fool!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, please don't be angry. I always say the wrong thing."</p> + +<p>Kitty was frightened at the vehement flashing in Brian's brown eyes. +She was silent for a moment. Then Brian said in a softened tone:</p> + +<p>"I know I'm rough and dull. I seem as if all my life I have had no time +to play. People tell me I'm old before my time, but I would be good to +you, Kitty. I don't think you'd have a bad time with me."</p> + +<p>"You're just altogether perfect!" said Kitty impulsively. "It's I who +would be the stupid. I'm always getting into hot water at home for the +things I say and do. I wonder if I really would make you a good wife. +You deserve one, for you never think of yourself at all."</p> + +<p>"I'm thinking of myself now," said Brian. "I suppose your father will +say I have no right to speak to you. I haven't a penny at present to +bless myself with, but I know I shall get work, and I know I shall get +on out there. And you're a born colonist's wife, Kitty. We shouldn't +have to wait very long."</p> + +<p>"But," said Kitty, "you know I don't approve of engagements. You must +say nothing to me till you're ready to marry me, and then I'll come out +by the next boat."</p> + +<p>Her eyes sparkled, then she said demurely:</p> + +<p>"So we'll change the subject, please. Them's my sentiments!"</p> + +<p>But Brian got up from his seat and went round to her.</p> + +<p>"You'll have to seal your promise with a kiss."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I couldn't!"</p> + +<p>"You must."</p> + +<p>He was holding her hands now, and Kitty, half-laughing, +half-frightened, tried to get away from him.</p> + +<p>"I shall be gone in two days' time," he said. "It is my right. I, +shan't believe in you unless you give it to me."</p> + +<p>He got what he wanted, and it was at this inopportune moment that Hope +surprised them. She did not retire, for she was too astonished and +perplexed to do so.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Brian!" she exclaimed, with a world of reproach in her tone.</p> + +<p>But Kitty held herself up bravely, and a little defiantly.</p> + +<p>"It's all right. We've settled to marry each other one day," she said; +"but we aren't going to talk any more about it. Have you brought the +flannel, Hope?"</p> + +<p>Her tone was too elaborately indifferent to be real. Hope could hardly +help laughing. She was only a girl herself, and after the first shock +of discovery, she was rather pleased than otherwise.</p> + +<p>"You are both ridiculously young," she said, looking from Kitty's +flushed cheeks and bright eyes to Brian's rather shamefaced demeanour; +"but I would rather have you for a little sister, Kitty, than any one +else in the world. And Brian and you will suit each other down to the +ground. Only what will your father say? And when will Brian be able to +offer you a home? Not for a long while, I fear."</p> + +<p>"Oh, father will let me do exactly as I like. I know he will."</p> + +<p>"Once I am out in Canada, I shall see my way," said Brian. "Good-night, +Kitty. I consider that we are engaged to each other, and I shall go +round to your father now, and tell him so."</p> + +<p>Before she could offer any remonstrance, he was gone, and the mixture +of feelings portrayed in Kitty's face as she turned to Hope in a +helpless appealing sort of way, was almost comical.</p> + +<p>"It's rather fun!" she said. "But it frightens one rather! Only Brian +is such a splendid fellow, isn't he? Why, he's much too good for me—I +never dreamt he did more than like me! Oh, it's quite delicious to +think of going out to Canada and have a house of my own to keep tidy +for him, and make him comfortable when he comes home tired!"</p> + +<p>Hope shook her head with a smile.</p> + +<p>"You make me feel so old, Kitty, to hear you talk! But I'm sure your +father will say you are much too young for such things!"</p> + +<p>"I'll put up my hair to-morrow, and let down my dresses. What will +Avice say? Oh, Hope, I'm so excited that I could dance round the room."</p> + +<p>Then she grew grave.</p> + +<p>"But I won't be engaged to him. It's against my principles. People +ought to be as free as air until they marry."</p> + +<p>"You are a ridiculous child!" said Hope.</p> + +<p>She wondered, as Kitty chattered on, if she felt any real love for +Brian, or whether it was the Canadian home that fascinated her. But +when the girl got up to go, she threw her arms round Hope's neck, and +whispered in her ear:</p> + +<p>"I will try to be good like you; I want to make him a good wife, I want +to be steadier. Will you pray for me?"</p> + +<p>And Hope answered:</p> + +<p>"My darling Kitty, indeed I will. But I hope you won't take me as your +pattern, for I am a poor specimen of what I ought to be."</p> + +<p>Mr. Parr was too dumbfounded to speak when Brian told him, and Brian +himself felt ashamed of his haste when he thought of his prospects.</p> + +<p>"I ought to have gone away without speaking to her, but I shan't be +home again for a good long time, and Kitty is so bright and attractive +that I was afraid some one else would get a successful innings when I +was away."</p> + +<p>"I can't hear of an engagement at present between you," said Mr. Parr, +with a troubled face. "Why, Kitty is a mere chit of a girl, with no +character formed—a regular little harum-scarum—"</p> + +<p>"She will be eighteen in two months' time, and has twice as much +character as most girls of her age," said Brian.</p> + +<p>The result of his talk was that Mr. Parr told him that he must not bind +Kitty in any way. If he could offer her a comfortable home eventually, +then was the time to make her a proposal, and then he would have no +objection to the match.</p> + +<p>Brian left the Vicarage downheartedly, and on the way back to his +lodgings met Kitty. He repeated to her Mr. Parr's views on the subject, +but she took it very lightheartedly.</p> + +<p>"That's just what I told you myself. When you're ready to marry me, +wire home and tell me so. Until then we'll go on as we are. You needn't +be afraid of my marrying any one else. If a duke came along and asked +me to, I wouldn't! And I'm no beauty, and nobody but you would care a +rap for me!"</p> + +<p>"But," said Brian gloomily, "I wanted you to write to me."</p> + +<p>"Well, perhaps I shall. I'm not a good hand at writing. It always seems +such waste of time, and as to love-letters, I couldn't send one to save +my life! The more I feel, the less I can say, and father would object +to any nonsense of that sort. But I do sometimes write to friends, and +you shall be one of them."</p> + +<p>"I don't believe you have any heart or care a bit!" Poor Brian was +beside himself with excitement and disappointment.</p> + +<p>Kitty looked at him with twinkling eyes, then she laid her hand gently +on his arm.</p> + +<p>"Don't you say those kind of things to me. I shall feel quite lost +without you, and you know I shall. But we shall not be worth much if +we can't wait for each other. You will have the easiest part to play, +for you will be working, and every bit of work you do will be like a +nail in our house. I shall be waiting in idleness, so I have by far the +hardest part. Only—" here eagerness again took the place of tenderness +in her tone—"I think I shall set to work to earn money, and start a +chest, like the foreign girls, for our household linen. It will be +great fun. I like plain work."</p> + +<p>It was impossible for Kitty to be pensive; her active brain always +provided so many fresh ideas that she was in a breathless state to +carry them out before she forgot them.</p> + +<p>Brian's gloom disappeared under her breezy practical common-sense.</p> + +<p>And Hope, as she watched him packing up and making all his preparations +for departure, with a smile on his lips, began to feel that she was +wrong in doubting the wisdom of his untimely proposal.</p> + +<p>"It will give him an object in life, and a hope for the future. And it +will make Kitty into a woman, and take away much of her giddiness."</p> + +<p>The last day came; the small boys clung to Hope in parting, and she +recognised then that she had made an impression upon their lives. Brian +wrung her hand.</p> + +<p>"I can't thank you enough for all you've done for us. If old Spencer +fails you, or Dane doesn't have you out as soon as you think, wire to +me."</p> + +<p>Hope smiled, but before she could reply, Jerry chimed in, "You come out +to us, Hope! Come as a stowaway, if you find the passage too expensive. +It's awful fun to hide yourself till the middle of the voyage, as the +captain can't throw you overboard. He's bound to keep you and land you."</p> + +<p>"Yes, and he wouldn't make a lady scrub and clean the decks," said Toby +thoughtfully. "He would have to be polite to you!"</p> + +<p>The boys' speeches took them away with a laugh instead of a cry, and +then Hope bravely packed her boxes, and went off to "The Retreat." She +found old Mr. Spencer really glad to see her. He had ineffectively +attempted to have the house cleaned and tidied for her, and the +consequence was that Mrs. Hadley met her with black lowering looks. But +Hope refused to let herself be disheartened. She said at once to the +old woman:</p> + +<p>"I am afraid you will not like the idea of my coming here; but I assure +you I shall not give any trouble. You must have your hands full with +such a big house to look after, and I am sure that I shall be able to +help you in many ways."</p> + +<p>She only got a grunt as a response, but she did not despair of winning +her. Mr. Spencer sat down to a cold supper with her at eight o'clock.</p> + +<p>"I dine in the middle of the day," he informed Hope; "Mrs. Hadley does +not like any cooking later."</p> + +<p>Hope soon found that he was in abject bondage to his old servants. She +talked to the old man after supper in his study as cheerfully as she +could, but when she retired to her cold and cheerless bedroom, and +heard the wind howl down the old chimney, and shake the loose casements +of her window, sending chilly blasts across the room—when she saw the +dust lying thick on every article of furniture, and noted the grey +colour of her blankets and the cold damp of her sheets, she wondered if +she could ever bring a cosy comfortable atmosphere into the old house.</p> + +<p>Her first day was like a long nightmare to her. In the morning Mr. +Spencer insisted upon her keeping him company in his study, whilst he +talked to her of the iniquities of his tenants, the insolence of his +bailiff, and the tyranny of his servants. The afternoon was a rainy +one; she got away to her room, and borrowing brush and duster, gave it +a thorough clean out. Mrs. Hadley surprised her in the middle of it.</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry the room is not to your liking, miss. Folks that are so +partic'lar had best have their own maids to attend to 'em. 'Tis more +than Hadley and me can manage, though we did spend two blessed hours +in cleaning the filthiest room I ever seed in my life, and which, in +course with the rest, was locked up and the key in master's pocket!"</p> + +<p>"I'm sure you did all the worst of the cleaning, Mrs. Hadley, and I'm +much obliged to you. I'm so accustomed to dust my own rooms that I +shall be quite lost without occupation. You mustn't mind my doing some +house-work—I love it."</p> + +<p>And house-work Hope certainly did. She found that Mr. Spencer disliked +innovations as much as his old servants did, but she quietly and +determinedly set to work to brighten up the few rooms that were used, +and she succeeded in spite of all obstacles placed in her way. She +arranged flowers, she cleaned up old bits of silver, she polished +brass, and all the time she was doing it she kept asking herself, "Is +this to be my vocation in life?"</p> + +<p>The old Squire watched her, first with amusement, then with vexation, +finally with resignation.</p> + +<p>"I wasn't mistaken in her capabilities for work," he would chuckle +to himself; but the time he really liked her best, was when she was +sitting sewing in his study, and listening to his talk.</p> + +<p>Mr. Spencer was a profound egotist and he found her an attentive and +sympathetic listener.</p> + +<p>Sometimes she would turn the tables upon him, and in her turn would +oblige him to listen to her.</p> + +<p>"I know you don't think much of women's opinions," she would say to +him; "but it is good to hear both sides of every question. You have +been telling me of your troubles with the world at large; you think it +has not benefited you as it should, and I suppose we all look at life +like that. But don't you think it is good sometimes to ask ourselves +how we have benefited the world? We may be the centre of our own +circle; but there are others. I remember hearing some one say once +that the big I of one's self was a mere atom in the universe, and the +majority ought to be always considered before the minority."</p> + +<p>"So you can preach?"</p> + +<p>Hope laughed and said no more, until the next opportunity came.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_20">Chapter XX</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A VISIT TO LONDON</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>A FEW days after Hope had gone to "The Retreat," Avice Parr called upon +her.</p> + +<p>Hope received her in the drawing-room—a room shrouded in holland +coverings, and seldom used.</p> + +<p>"I have come," Avice said hesitatingly, "because my father thought I +ought. I have not seen you since we heard about Kitty. I could hardly +believe it, but as it has come to nothing, perhaps I ought not to +mention it."</p> + +<p>"Oh, please do," said Hope. "I want to know your feelings about it. I +am so very fond of Kitty, you know."</p> + +<p>"Kitty is a careless child still," said Avice, in a tone of severity. +"I can't think how your brother could have filled her head with such +nonsense."</p> + +<p>"He doesn't think it nonsense. I own it was premature, but he was going +away, and I suppose for once the impulse of the moment overcame his +caution."</p> + +<p>"And here is Kitty fastening up her hair and lengthening her skirts, +and talking as if she were really going to marry him. I think if you +had known how things were going, you ought to have stopped it. We did +think she was safe with you."</p> + +<p>"But," said Hope, feeling taken aback by Avice's calm disapproval, "I +hadn't an idea how things were going. Brian is such a quiet reserved +boy. He never took me into his confidence. And I don't think the +experience will do Kitty harm. She has no silliness about her, as many +girls have. You have lamented over her carelessness and heedlessness. I +expect you will find this will make her more serious and thoughtful."</p> + +<p>"It is all ridiculous!"</p> + +<p>Avice seemed so perturbed that her usual politeness forsook her.</p> + +<p>Hope could not sympathise with her. She knew how much of Avice's +unfulfilled duties Kitty continually undertook, and that in many ways +she had more practical common-sense than her elder sister. She wondered +if a little jealousy had crept into Avice's heart.</p> + +<p>"Well," Hope said pleasantly, "they are not properly engaged, we won't +think any more about it. Perhaps it will come to nothing. I am sorry it +has vexed you so, but I have had nothing to do with it."</p> + +<p>With an effort Avice tried to talk of other matters. She began telling +Hope of a young factory-girl whom she had dissuaded from marrying, and +was evidently elated at her success.</p> + +<p>"She is only seventeen, and he is twenty. It is dreadful to see them +rushing into married life with so little money to keep a home together."</p> + +<p>"Yes," assented Hope, "but sometimes marriage is better for them; it +saves worse troubles, and very often steadies a young fellow."</p> + +<p>And then, after a little more desultory talk, Avice departed, and Hope +said to herself after she had left:</p> + +<p>"I know why I do not like her—she is never interested in me, so my +dislike is a purely selfish one. She never asked me a question about +myself, whether I was comfortable here, or how I liked it. She is only +interested in her special 'protégées,' and I am not one of them. And +yet she is really good."</p> + +<p>Hope had no other visitors except Kitty, who ran in to see her very +often; but Mr. Spencer did not care for her entertaining any one. His +attitude towards her grew daily more exacting and capricious, and Hope +began to find that she had very little time to herself. Mrs. Hadley +preserved a sullen silence, and in many little ways which were in her +power, she made Hope extremely uncomfortable. If it had not been for +her Indian letter, which came to her regularly once a week, Hope would +have been very unhappy. As it was, she tried to live in the future; and +in writing to Lancelot she said nothing of her discomforts, so that he +was unaware of her exact position.</p> + +<p>One day, in talking to Mr. Spencer, she happened to mention her coming +marriage.</p> + +<p>He looked up, quite vexed.</p> + +<p>"Pshaw! Don't talk to me of your marriage! Girls don't know when they +are well off. If you stay with me, and continue to please me, I can +promise you at my death a nice little fortune. I have no kith or kin, +and I can leave my money to whom I will. You will be an independent +woman then, and will be thankful you took my advice. Marriage is very +well for some, but it would be a mistake for you. You would expect too +much from your husband, and then when disillusion came, your life would +be spoilt. Stay with me, and you will not regret it."</p> + +<p>"But," said Hope, "I thought I made you understand that this is only a +temporary arrangement. I am very grateful to you for the interest you +take in me, but I might hear by any mail from Mr. Dane or his mother +that they would like me to go out to them. If Mrs. Dane comes back in +June, I shall most likely go to her. I believe she will want me to do +so. It is very good of you to have me at all, but I cannot stay with +you long."</p> + +<p>"Then why did you come to me at all?"</p> + +<p>Mr. Spencer's eyes blazed, and he fell into a towering passion. "Do you +think I took the trouble to alter my household for a passing visitor? +Do you think I put up with Mrs. Hadley's insolence when she heard of +your coming, and actually was forced to increase her wages—do you think +I did this to have you come in and turn my house upside down, and then +leave me in a few months' time?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, why do we talk of the future?" said Hope. "I am sorry I mentioned +my plans. It is all uncertain. I may be able to stay with you a year, +should you wish it. I can't tell. I had no idea I had made such +difficulties; perhaps I had better leave you at once?"</p> + +<p>The old Squire's temper passed as quickly as it had come.</p> + +<p>"No, no, we will say no more. You wouldn't have the heart to leave me. +I am a miserable old man, I never see a soul; I have almost lost the +art of conversation. Forget what I have said, and stay on with me. +Those Danes do not need you as I do."</p> + +<p>Hope thought it best to say no more. She tried to make the most of her +surroundings, and succeeded in bringing both cleanliness and brightness +into the old house.</p> + +<p>She endeavoured to make Mr. Spencer take an interest in his +tenants, and would come back after one of her rambles, describing +the dilapidated state of some of the farms, and the anxiety of the +hard-working tenants themselves that something should be done; but he +would only shake his head impatiently.</p> + +<p>"I know what I can afford, and what I can't. They will never be +satisfied. The more I do for them, the more they want."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>One morning she went to him in his study, and found him deep in a +letter that he had received. Hope was feeling a little depressed that +morning. For two weeks now she had received no letter from India, and +the one she was expecting from Lancelot would be that in reply to hers, +telling him of her father's death. She began to wonder whether the bad +climate of his district was affecting him, or whether he had by any +chance missed receiving her letter. She knew that when he heard her +news, he would write to her at once. It was not like him to miss the +mail at such a time.</p> + +<p>As a rule she breakfasted alone. Since Mr. Spencer had broken his leg, +he did not leave his room till eleven o'clock, and Hope was glad to +have the first few hours in the morning to herself. She dusted the +rooms, arranged flowers, and did many little household duties that were +necessary.</p> + +<p>Now as she entered his room, she saw that he was disturbed in mind.</p> + +<p>"Come here," he said nervously; "shut the door and sit down, and listen +to this. All these years we have never corresponded; why should she +find me out now, and what does she want?"</p> + +<p>He then proceeded to read his letter out.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'DEAR ALAN,—I wonder if you have ever troubled to find out whether +I am dead or alive! In the accounts of the floods in your part a +short time ago, I saw mention of your name—I will not say that I had +forgotten your existence, but it revived the memories of past years. I +am alone in the world like you. My husband died five years ago. Would +you like me to pay you a visit? I am living in London now, and could +come down and see you any day.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">"'Your affectionate sister</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 22.5em;">"'ELLEN.'"</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"Oh," remarked Hope, "I think that very nice. Are you not glad to hear +from her?"</p> + +<p>"Ellen was the youngest of us," said Mr. Spencer slowly and cautiously. +"She married a man in the navy—Harper was his name. Those service men +are always badly off unless they have private means, and Ellen was a +regular spendthrift. Most likely she has run heavily into debt since +she was a widow—perhaps she is going to be sold up—she wouldn't write +to me without a purpose, and she is too clever to hint that it is my +money she is after!"</p> + +<p>Speeches like this always jarred on Hope.</p> + +<p>"She is your sister. Why do you not take her letter as it reads? I have +always thought you ought to find your sister, and now she asks you to +let her come and see you. I don't see how you can refuse her."</p> + +<p>"There is nothing easier than a refusal," said Mr. Spencer promptly. +"If I thought she might be of any service to me, I—I think I might ask +her from Saturday to Monday. But a woman's tongue can be a great trial, +and Ellen never minced her words."</p> + +<p>"If she is badly off, you could give her a home," said Hope decidedly.</p> + +<p>"That is just what I should never do. What would her pension be, I +wonder? She could not be penniless."</p> + +<p>"What was her husband?"</p> + +<p>"A captain. He retired as that. Now will you kindly sit still, and let +me think out a plan in my head. Ellen is a very obstinate woman. She +may come down upon me without any invitation on my part."</p> + +<p>Silence fell upon them. Hope despaired of making Mr. Spencer take an +unselfish interest in others. At last he looked up with a gleam of +humour in his eye.</p> + +<p>"I am going to appoint you a part to play in this little drama. I will +pay your return fare to London if you will go up quietly and find out +exactly where my sister is living, and what her sentiments are about +me. Find out if she is in a house of her own, or in lodgings, or in a +boardinghouse. You have plenty of friends in town. Can you not stay +with them for a few days?"</p> + +<p>Hope was too astonished to speak for a moment.</p> + +<p>"I could not act as a spy," she said, a little indignantly. "And as to +my friends—I have lost sight of them all for the past year. I—I—am not +in a position now to go visiting."</p> + +<p>Poor Hope thought of her scanty wardrobe, and realised with a little +bitterness that none of her aunt's old friends would care to receive +a shabbily dressed, penniless girl into their fashionable homes. Only +Hester Chesney and Lady May Fosberry had stood by her through her +adversity, and neither of them was in town. Jim Horrocks was, but he +lived as a bachelor in chambers; and there was no one else to whom she +could turn. After some further talk, thinking that she might be the +means of uniting brother and sister together again, she assented to Mr. +Spencer's proposal.</p> + +<p>"But," she stipulated, "if I go, I go in a straightforward way. I shall +call upon Mrs. Harper, and tell her about you. I shall not betray you. +I will not let her know of your unworthy suspicions. I shall be careful +not to commit you. That is all I can promise."</p> + +<p>Mr. Spencer was beginning to have a respectful regard for Hope's good +taste and judgment. He was full of excitement, and launched into a long +dissertation on the follies of blood ties and family sentiments, but +concluded with saying that he would like her to go the very next day.</p> + +<p>"And don't tell the Hadleys where you are going," he added. "It is none +of their business. They don't know that I have a sister."</p> + +<p>"I was thinking," said Hope thoughtfully, "that I might go to Miss +Rill's lodgings. When last I heard from her, she said she had found +some nice rooms, and not expensive ones. It would be cheaper than a +hotel."</p> + +<p>"Yes, certainly. Hotels are ruinous."</p> + +<p>Hope was enough of a girl to enjoy this little trip to town. Her life +was grey and monotonous; she welcomed any change that brought a break +into her life.</p> + +<p>The next morning she started early. It was a bright frosty day, and +though it was three miles to the station, she thoroughly enjoyed every +step of the walk. A small boy from a neighbouring farm carried her +bag, and being always fond of boys, Hope began to chat with him. He +presently, to her great amusement, asked:</p> + +<p>"Be you sent away, miss? 'Ave you lost your place?"</p> + +<p>"No," she said laughing; "why do you ask such a question?"</p> + +<p>"Mother says that Missus Hadley says it'll have to be her or you to +leave t'old Squire, and her thinks as 'ow it'll be you, please, miss!"</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Hadley talks a great deal of nonsense!"</p> + +<p>Hope's tone was lofty, but she was vexed that the village gossip should +touch on her position, and she relapsed into silence for the rest of +the way.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>Her journey to town only took three hours. When she arrived at +Paddington Station, she found herself in a thick yellow fog. But Hope +was thoroughly at home in London; she took an omnibus to the address +Miss Rill had given her, and though she had to find the quiet little +street quite a distance from where the omnibus put her down, she lost +no time in arriving there.</p> + +<p>A respectable-looking woman opened the door.</p> + +<p>"A friend of Miss Rill's, do you say, ma'am? Well, to be sure! 'Tis a +pity you didn't come two weeks further back, for she's left me without +a word as to where she were a-fixing herself, and me a good friend to +her, believe me, ma'am. And there's a letter been a-waitin' her these +ten days or more, and one I giv' back to the postman four days ago. No, +I ain't the least notion where she is! Fact is—but will you come in and +take a seat?"</p> + +<p>Hope obeyed, and in a dingy back sitting-room heard a sad account of +poor Miss Rill.</p> + +<p>"She were hard up, poor thing, and if it 'adn't been that I'm a +hard-working widow woman myself with four children to eddicate, +and feed and clothe, all under twelve years, and a young man—a +medical—a-wantin' the room, and I havin' waited two weeks for her rent, +and then not 'aving the heart to take it, and seein' her go starving, +why, I won't say as I mightn't have let things run on, but she says to +me herself very quiet like:</p> + +<p>"'Mrs. Edgar,' she says, 'I must find cheaper rooms in a cheaper +locality, and not having received as much as I expected this quarter, +will you kindly accept the gift of my books till I can settle up +properly,' which offer I took, seein' there were no better forthcoming.</p> + +<p>"You see, ma'am, the poor lady had a book craze, and the books she +brought 'ome every blessed day were really enough to fill a cellar! She +'ad a craze for book-shops, an' yet she would never say why, for I'm +certain sure she never read the books.</p> + +<p>"She says to me one day, 'Mrs. Edgar,' she says, 'I mean to visit every +book-shop in London, but,' she says, 'it takes a lot of money, Mrs. +Edgar,' she says, and with that the poor lady gives a big sigh. 'I +walk,' she says to me, 'all I can, but I wear out so many boots; and +the 'bus does take so many pennies!'</p> + +<p>"'Then why,' says I to her, 'don't you give of it up, ma'am?'</p> + +<p>"'Ah!' she says, with a shake of her head, 'I came to London to do it!'</p> + +<p>"And I'll make bold enough to say, ma'am, that she'll bring herself to +the workhouse, if she goes on with it much longer."</p> + +<p>Hope felt puzzled and perplexed.</p> + +<p>Then she asked Mrs. Edgar if she could give her a bedroom for the night.</p> + +<p>"I will, ma'am; I know a lady when I see one; and though it is only a +top front room, I think it will suit you, and for a trifle extry you +can have meals served in this very room we're in, being my own parlour, +which I keeps to myself."</p> + +<p>So Hope conveyed her bag up two flights of steep stairs, and found the +room comfortable and fairly clean, for London. Then Mrs. Edgar showed +her Miss Rill's former rooms, and in the corner, stacked up against +the wall, was a goodly array of books. Hope looked at these curiously. +She wondered if it was a system of self-education, but the variety and +uselessness of many of them convinced her of the contrary.</p> + +<p>There were children's toy-books, diaries, textbooks upon every +conceivable subject, from the management of racing-stables to babies +and mushroom-growing, novels in French and English, histories, books on +architecture, geology, and political economy.</p> + +<p>As Hope looked at them, she wondered if Miss Rill's experience of +London life was turning her brain. And she determined to do her utmost +to trace her whereabouts before she returned to Mr. Spencer.</p> + +<p>As soon as she had settled with Mrs. Edgar about her room, she went out +again, and half an hour after was knocking at the door of 1, Radford +Square, the address given by Mr. Spencer's sister.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_21">Chapter XXI</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A SUCCESSFUL SEARCH</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"IS Mrs. Harper at home?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. Please walk this way."</p> + +<p>Hope felt a little nervous as she mounted the carpeted stairs. It was a +lodging-house, but a very superior one; and when she was ushered into +the big front drawing-room, with a blazing fire, sweet-scented flowers, +and every token of comfort in it, she began to wish herself away.</p> + +<p>From the depths of a soft cushioned chair by the fire, a lady rose to +greet her. She was a tall fair woman, rather plump in face, and dressed +in thorough good taste. No greater contrast could be found than between +her and her brother.</p> + +<p>"I must introduce myself," Hope said in her pretty gracious way. "I +have been staying with Mr. Spencer lately, and he asked me to come and +see you. I am in town for one or two days. He is not up to travelling, +or I daresay would have come to town himself. I thought perhaps you +would like to hear about him from me. He was very much surprised when +he heard from you. He told me he had lost sight of you for many years."</p> + +<p>"I hope it was a pleasant surprise," said Mrs. Harper, with a gleam of +amusement in her eyes. "Do come near the fire, and tell me all you know +about my brother."</p> + +<p>She drew another easy chair forward, and reseated herself. If she was +curious about Hope, she concealed her curiosity well.</p> + +<p>Hope very simply stated her position at "The Retreat."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Harper listened very quietly to all she said. But nothing escaped +her.</p> + +<p>"Well," she said at last, "I suppose people do not change for the +better as they grow older. Our faults become follies, our fancies +eccentricities, and every bad habit is accentuated, this is what the +preachers say. Poor dear Alan always was a prig and a screw. I don't +expect him to be anything else. Still he is my brother, and it will be +his privilege to help me, should I need his help. I must certainly go +down to see him. Did he send no message to me?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, he said he would write soon."</p> + +<p>"After he had heard about me from you?" Mrs. Harper spoke a little +sharply, and Hope winced at her plain speaking.</p> + +<p>"I know Alan of old, and, from what I hear of his establishment, I +should not think there is much comfort in it. I think I shall wait till +this cold weather is over, before I venture down. Now, Miss St. Clair, +you can tell him that you have seen me; that you cannot make me out; +that I look as if I do not need pecuniary aid from him, but that I have +told you very little about myself, except that I consider it is his +privilege to help me."</p> + +<p>"Yes," assented Hope quickly; "I will tell him all that."</p> + +<p>"Now tell me honestly if you think my visit will benefit him or myself +most?"</p> + +<p>Hope looked at her gravely. She would not join this lady in laughing at +her brother.</p> + +<p>"I think you may benefit him most," she replied. "I shall be going +abroad soon. His housekeeper is a tyrant, and does not make him as +comfortable as she should. The house needs a mistress badly. He is old +and lonely and unhappy, Mrs. Harper. He wants care and affection, and +there is no one to give it to him."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Harper gazed into the fire without speaking.</p> + +<p>"I shall not be the one to give it to him," she said at last. "I am +lonely too, but he and I are as far as the North Pole from the South in +our tastes and feelings. When do you return to him?"</p> + +<p>"Perhaps to-morrow," said Hope. "I am anxious to find a friend of mine +first, if I can; but I feel that it is like looking for a needle in a +haystack."</p> + +<p>"Man or woman?"</p> + +<p>Hope briefly told her. Mrs. Harper was interested at once.</p> + +<p>"It is quite a romance. Do tell me if you're successful. But London +swallows up plenty of little women like that."</p> + +<p>Hope was pressed to stay to tea, but she declined. She parted from Mrs. +Harper feeling she would like to meet her again. Then she went off to +several book-shops to try to glean any information about Miss Rill. At +one shop only, one of the assistants remembered her.</p> + +<p>"She called late one evening," he said, "and didn't seem to know what +book she wanted. She asked me several strange questions, as to how long +I had been employed here, whether there were many changes amongst us, +and whether I had ever come across a man called Robert Manners. Then +she took up a small book hastily, paid for it, and walked out of the +shop."</p> + +<p>"And you have never seen her since?" questioned Hope eagerly.</p> + +<p>"Not that I know of, madam."</p> + +<p>It was not a clue, and yet the revelation seemed infinitely pathetic to +Hope.</p> + +<p>Miss Rill was evidently searching London in a quiet way for traces +of her old lover. She knew he was in the bookselling trade, and was +visiting every bookseller in turn, buying books that she did not want, +and impoverishing herself by so doing.</p> + +<p>When dark set in, Hope turned towards her lodgings. Over her tea, she +cross-questioned her landlady again, and discovered that Miss Rill was +very fond of attending evening church at a certain St. Mark's, not very +far away.</p> + +<p>"She always used to go of a Friday," Mrs. Edgar said. "And I shouldn't +wonder if she went there still. As it's Friday to-night, miss, would +you like to go there?"</p> + +<p>Hope was feeling very tired. The day had seemed a long one to her. She +could hardly believe that it was only that morning that she had taken +her three-mile walk through sunny frosty fields. But the desire to find +Miss Rill overcame all her fatigue. She felt as if she were personally +responsible for her safety, and, refreshed by her tea, she set out +again, to attend the half-past six service at St. Mark's.</p> + +<p>It was one of those dingy town churches that do not attract the upper +classes; indeed as she entered it, there were not more than half a +dozen people in it. When the service began, there were about twenty in +the congregation; and not one of them bore any resemblance to Miss Rill.</p> + +<p>But Hope found rest and refreshment from the beautiful old liturgy +which was simply and reverently rendered, and when the Vicar came +forward to the lectern and preached one of a series of sermons on +the miracles of our Lord, Hope listened with delight. She could well +understand now why Miss Rill had found her way here.</p> + +<p>It was not an eloquent sermon, but it was an earnest forcible one, and +the Saviour's love and power were brought straight down through the +ages to bear upon the lives of those who were in the church that night.</p> + +<p>"What wilt thou that I should do unto thee?" was the question +reiterated again and again. And before Hope left the church she bowed +her knee in humble supplication:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Increase my faith and love."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>As she came out, she stopped to speak to the old verger, and, +describing Miss Rill as well as she could, asked him if he could +remember having seen her.</p> + +<p>He responded at once:</p> + +<p>"Yes, only last Friday. I thought she'd been rather ill from the +look of her. She come in and was took bad in her seat. 'Twas just on +closin', after the sermon, and I got her to the vestry; and the Vicar +and me had her in a dead faint for over twenty minutes. The Vicar he +fetched in a doctor, and he brought her round and took her in a keb. +Would you like to speak to the Vicar, miss? We hain't set eyes on her +since."</p> + +<p>Elope went to the vestry with relief in her heart, for she realised +that she was on the right track at last. The Vicar was courteous, and +willing to give her all the information in his power.</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid," he said, "it was a case of starvation and exhaustion; the +doctor seemed to think so. We have many of these cases every winter, +and they are very difficult to relieve. I have her address, but when I +went to see her, I found she had been removed to St. Thomas's Hospital. +Her landlady had done it, I fear, because she did not want to be +troubled with her. She was suffering from a severe chill with fever, +the landlady told me. But she will have every care in the hospital."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said Hope. "I must see her to-morrow, poor thing! I little +thought she was in want of money."</p> + +<p>She walked back to the lodgings, hearing again Miss Rill's eager voice +when describing her ideas of London life:</p> + +<p>"'I'm going to walk in the streets and live like a lady in it. It's the +dream of my life coming true!'</p> + +<p>"And now her landlady has turned her out of her house, to die perhaps +in a hospital. Oh, it is pitiful!"</p> + +<p>Hope did not sleep very well that night. Miss Rill's pathetic story was +in her heart and brain. "Perhaps I may have been brought up to town to +save her," she repeated to herself; "but what can I do? My own future +is very insecure and uncertain!"</p> + +<p>Early the next morning, she went off to the hospital. Though it was not +in the visiting hours, a friendly sister allowed her to go into the +ward.</p> + +<p>"If you are a friend of hers, it would be a kindness to take her home. +We cannot keep her here, for she has no organic disease; it is simply a +case of weakness and exhaustion."</p> + +<p>Hope could not reply. She hardly knew how to act. She followed her +guide into the big cheerful-looking ward. In one corner of it was Miss +Rill's bed. Hope started as she came up and looked down upon her. Was +this hollow-cheeked white-faced woman the little hardy roundabout Miss +Rill? She could for a moment scarcely believe it. But slowly Miss Rill +opened her eyes, and then with a start she raised herself to a sitting +position, stretching out her hands like a little child.</p> + +<p>"Am I dreaming? Are you Miss St. Clair? I think I'm dying."</p> + +<p>"Oh no, you are going to get quite well. It is I myself in the flesh, +and I've been hunting high and low for you. I came up to London and +meant to take you by surprise. Then I found you had left your nice +lodgings. I am sadly afraid you have not been taking care of yourself."</p> + +<p>Hope talked on, so as to put her at her ease.</p> + +<p>The tears began to trickle down the sick woman's cheeks.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, with a weary sigh; "how I have longed to see the face +of a friend! And my sweet cottage? Tell me how it is looking."</p> + +<p>Hope did not want to excite her, so she said nothing of the change of +hands that had taken place.</p> + +<p>"The daffodils are just coming up," she said gently, "and there will be +a fine show of apple-blossoms soon. You must come back to the country, +Miss Rill. London does not suit you."</p> + +<p>"It is rather an expensive place," said Miss Rill. "I think I have +missed the country air."</p> + +<p>"Do you think you are well enough to come out in a cab with me? I +should like to take you back to your old lodgings."</p> + +<p>A nervous shrunken look came into Miss Rill's face.</p> + +<p>"My dear, I'm afraid I'd better not. If these good people will keep me +a little longer, it would—it would be advisable. I do feel so rested +and comfortable. And I really have found London lodgings so expensive, +that, between ourselves, my savings have fast melted away. I have +thought it all out, and if they will keep me a few days longer, I mean +then to apply to a very good registry office that was recommended to +me. There are posts of caretaker that are often vacant in town, and I +am sure that such an office would suit me. Oh, sister, is that you? +What? Food again?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said the sister cheerfully. "It is a cup of nice hot soup, and +you must take it before you venture out with your friend. I am so glad +she has come for you. The fact is, we shall be overcrowded to-night, +and your bed will be wanted. I am sure the rest and food has worked +wonders for you, has it not? You must look after yourself a little more +carefully in the future."</p> + +<p>Miss Rill's lips quivered, but she made no reply. Hope hastened to say:</p> + +<p>"I will look after her, sister, I can assure you. Can we have a cab in +an hour's time?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I will see to it."</p> + +<p>Miss Rill seemed almost stunned by this sudden decision. She said +nothing till she was in the cab, driving away from the hospital. Then +she laid a trembling hand on Hope's arm.</p> + +<p>"My dear, you had better tell the cabman to drive to the nearest +workhouse. I will struggle no longer against the fate that is driving +me there. I have exactly five shillings left of all my savings. I +hoped before I saw you that I should die in the hospital. I don't seem +able to die like other people do. I suppose I must be extraordinarily +strong."</p> + +<p>The tears were quietly trickling down her cheeks.</p> + +<p>Hope impulsively put her arms round her and cried too.</p> + +<p>"You shall not go to the workhouse. I believe God sent me up to London +to save you from it. I'm going to take you back to your old lodgings +with me. Not to the last place at which you were, but to Mrs. Edgar's. +I will make it right with the landlady. I mean to feed you up and nurse +you; and when you are quite well and strong again, it will be time +enough to talk of earning money. Two letters have come for you since +you have left. One unfortunately was given back to the postman, but the +other one was forgotten, and is waiting for you. Perhaps a friend or +relation has died and left you a fortune! You never know what a letter +may bring."</p> + +<p>Hope spoke cheerily, but she was feeling painfully perplexed and +troubled.</p> + +<p>When the lodgings were reached, Mrs. Edgar received Miss Rill back with +every expression of kindness. She was put to bed in her old room, a +fire lighted, and everything done to make her comfortable. Then Hope +telegraphed to Mr. Spencer, saying that she could not well return to +him that day, but would write explanation; and a good long letter +followed, telling him all she had discovered and done.</p> + +<p>"If you could spare me for a few days longer," she wrote, "I should be +very glad. Poor Miss Rill is in a very exhausted state, and I do not +want to leave her until she is better. Of course, I need hardly say +that I am paying my own expenses up here."</p> + +<p>Having written this, she sent a note to Mrs. Harper, telling her of the +result of her search, and then she went upstairs to Miss Rill again.</p> + +<p>"Could I have my letter?" the poor woman asked directly she saw her.</p> + +<p>Hope gave it to her, but she could not read it.</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid my eyes are rather weak. Will you kindly read it to me?"</p> + +<p>So Hope read slowly and clearly as follows:—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'DEAR JANE,—Even after all these years I cannot call you anything +else. I hear you are living in London in comfortable circumstances. +Strange that you should wish to end your days in the bustle of a city, +and I in the quiet and peace of the country. I was surprised, when +I came down to look you up, to find you gone. Memories tugged hard, +when I trod your cottage path. But we have learnt to live without each +other. I found your cottage wanting an owner, and for auld lang syne +I took it, and am living in it now. Why am I writing to you, you will +ask! I hardly know myself, except that your presence seems to wander +round here, and I wonder if I had managed things better, whether the +two of us might not have kept each other company in this snug nest? I +should like to hear your experiences in London. I managed to save, and +have now a small annuity, enough to keep me from want for the rest of +my days.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 8.5em;">"'Very truly yours,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">"'ROBERT MANNERS.'"</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Miss Rill sat up in bed with flushed cheeks.</p> + +<p>"Wonderful! Wonderful!" she exclaimed. "So I have been searching all +this time in vain. Tell me, Miss St. Clair, all about it. Why have you +left my cottage? How did he come to take it? He above all others in +this wide world!"</p> + +<p>Hope told her everything. She could not quite make out if she were glad +or sorry at receiving such a letter. The pitifulness of it all did not +seem to strike Miss Rill. She sank back upon her pillow soon, and with +a wistful smile asked Hope to put the letter into her hand.</p> + +<p>"I will answer it when I feel a little stronger," she said.</p> + +<p>But Hope was determined that Robert Manners should know as soon as +possible why Miss Rill had not answered his letter before; and that +same evening she wrote to him herself, telling him of Miss Rill's weak +state of health.</p> + +<p>"If he has a heart at all, he will come and see her," she said to +herself.</p> + +<p>The next day Miss Rill was sufficiently strong to tell Hope her late +experiences in town.</p> + +<p>"I know you will think me sentimental and foolish," she said. "But +though I enjoyed my first few weeks in London very much, I could not +rest until I knew whether Robert—Mr. Manners—was still living. I only +wanted to know; I did not want to see him; but he was the only old +friend I had in London, and so I began my search. I knew he was a +bookseller, so I went to every bookseller's in turn, trying to find +him, and the consequence was I had to buy a good many books. Oh! I know +it was foolish, but I felt I could not take up their time for nothing, +and I did not want to be pushing with my inquiries; they were so much +more civil when they knew I meant to buy.</p> + +<p>"I don't like London; it is a cruel place for the poor and weak. The +only nice people in it are the policemen, and I've never had anything +but civility from them. They've conducted me across streets times +without number—and that without my paying them a penny! Ah, well, God +has punished me for my restlessness and faithlessness! I could not wait +for His time. What an event it would have been if I had stayed on in my +cottage and seen Bob—Mr. Manners—walking up the path one day! I never +dreamt he would come back to those parts again! It seems so strange, so +sweet that he should be living there now. Well—he says we have learnt +to live without each other—I suppose we have, and I shall be happy if +I am taken before I have to go to the workhouse. It is my own foolish +fault. I saved, and then I spent, and the sooner my life ends, the +better."</p> + +<p>Hope gently remonstrated with her.</p> + +<p>"If you had not been wanted in this world a little longer, God would +not have sent me up to London at this identical time when you were +needing a friend."</p> + +<p>Miss Rill seized hold of her hand, and a hot tear fell on it.</p> + +<p>"Ah! I am ungrateful. And God is good, though I had to come to London +to find it out. It was all so quiet and peaceful in my cottage. I went +to church once on a Sunday, but there my religion began and ended. +When I was lonely and forlorn here, I went one evening to St. Mark's. +I can't tell you, Miss St. Clair, what comfort came to me through the +Vicar's addresses. I got to know the Lord as my personal Friend and +Saviour. I believe He is taking care of me, though I am so faithless; +but I can't help thinking the loss of my savings is the natural +consequence of my own folly."</p> + +<p>"We won't talk any more about it," said Hope cheerfully. "You have +found a Friend who will undertake for you, Miss Rill, and if your +loneliness drove you to Him, you will bless that bit of loneliness +through all eternity."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_22">Chapter XXII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>ALONE</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "'MY DEAR MISS ST. CLAIR,—You ought never to have left me. I can't +think why you have been worrying yourself over the poultry-woman. I +note what you say about my sister, Mrs. Harper. I have written to her +saying it is not convenient for me to receive her at present, but that +I hope to see her later on. If you had come back the first thing on +Wednesday morning, things would have been better. As it is, you have +been away three days, and now I cannot see my way to having you back. +Mrs. Hadley says if you return, she will leave me. I cannot lose the +Hadleys; they know my ways, and have been with me ten years. I should +be lost without them. It is very tiresome that you and Mrs. Hadley do +not get on together. I am a miserable old man, and realise more and +more that I am never meant to have a friend. Mrs. Hadley is improving +in her cooking again. She seems to manage for me better when you are +not here. She says you fuss her.<br> +<br> + "'I do not think I owe you anything, for I paid you the morning you +left me. If there are a few shillings over from what I gave you for +your fare, you may keep them. I do not think it will be wise for you +to return here. Mrs. Hadley says you left nothing about your room, but +packed everything in your trunk, and took the keys with you. She was +hurt at your want of confidence in her, and said she would not touch a +hairpin of yours. But this makes it easy to send your trunk by rail to +you. I will leave you to pay the carriage of it at your end, as it is +always safer doing so. Hadley says he can ask the baker to take it in +his cart to the station to-day. I do seem unfortunate in having no one +of my own class to associate with, but I cannot lose the Hadleys. Why +do women always disagree?<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 10em;">"'Yours truly,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 12em;">"'A. T. SPENCER.'"</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>This was the letter that awaited Hope one morning. She was +thunderstruck at its contents. Mr. Spencer's callousness and +selfishness did not vex her, for she had a great compassion for him. +But after thinking matters over, she went straight to Mrs. Harper and +read the letter aloud.</p> + +<p>That lady lay back in her cushions, and laughed at it.</p> + +<p>"It's simply delicious," she said. "I can see Alan writing it!"</p> + +<p>"Ah! But it is no laughing matter. Those Hadleys are not faithful +servants. They are cheating him right and left, and he does not see it. +It is pitiful to me. He is lonely and miserable, and they want to keep +him so. I do not mind for myself at all. I am quite willing not to go +back, but I cannot bear to think of him. Mrs. Harper, could you not +go down and release him from his tyrants? You could replace them with +better servants. You are his sister, and you can do what I cannot do."</p> + +<p>"But what thanks should I get for it? It would be a most difficult and +unpleasant business, and I always shirk unpleasant things. You see I +am as selfish in my way as Alan is in his. Why should I trouble myself +about him, and his rascally servants?"</p> + +<p>Hope looked at her a little wistfully for a moment.</p> + +<p>"I can't help thinking that your heart is kinder than your words," she +said, smiling.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Harper shook her head.</p> + +<p>"My heart is a mere mechanical engine for pumping blood into my +arteries. I always say exactly what I think. The only thing that would +make me go to him would be the fun of routing round that insolent old +woman, and making her wait on me. I do think my brother has treated you +rather shabbily. What are you going to do?"</p> + +<p>"I shall stay where I am for the present and try to nurse Miss Rill +back to health and strength again."</p> + +<p>"It seems your vocation to attend upon the poor and needy."</p> + +<p>After a little further talk, Mrs. Harper declared she would go down and +take her brother by surprise.</p> + +<p>"I shall find out how things are, and if I see the smallest inclination +upon my brother's part to be friends with me, I shall settle that +worthy couple of his in no time."</p> + +<p>Hope went back to Miss Rill. She was too occupied in attending to +her, and in thinking about the poor unhappy Squire, to give her own +future much thought, but she did vaguely wonder if her money would be +sufficient for her needs, or if she might, like Miss Rill, lose her +little all in London. It was a distinct shock to receive her large +trunk the next day, and to realise that her connection with King's Dell +was severed for the present. That same afternoon she was told that a +gentleman wished to see her, and going into the sitting-room, found Mr. +Robert Manners awaiting her.</p> + +<p>He met her with an embarrassed air.</p> + +<p>"I—I thought I had better perhaps call. I had business that brought +me to town. I—I hope that Miss Rill is better. It was kind of you to +write. I—I suppose she would not like to see me?"</p> + +<p>"Are you sleeping in town to-night?"</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>"Then I think she might be able to see you to-morrow. She is very weak +still. I'm afraid she has not much desire to live, and that tells +against her. You see, she has no friends, and she has been unfortunate +up here. Her savings have nearly melted away. Perhaps I ought not to +tell you this, but you are an old friend, and so you will treat it in +confidence."</p> + +<p>To herself she mentally soliloquised:</p> + +<p>"He shall not think she has anything to offer him; if he cares for her, +he will take her as she is."</p> + +<p>Hope wisely said nothing of this visit to Miss Rill that night. She did +not want to excite her. But the next morning, she persuaded her to get +up a little earlier, and sit in an easy chair by the sitting-room fire. +And then, with a reckless regard for her scanty purse, Hope went out +and bought some violets and sweet-scented narcissus, which she brought +in to brighten up the dingy little room.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said poor Miss Rill, when she saw them. "I had violets behind the +water-butt. I wonder if Ro—Mr. Manners—has discovered them?"</p> + +<p>"You must ask him," said Hope quietly. "He has come up to town on +business, and means to come and see you this morning, I think. Perhaps +he wants some advice about the garden."</p> + +<p>A red flush appeared on Miss Rill's thin cheeks.</p> + +<p>"Is he really coming to see me?" she asked. "My dear, am I tidy? Don't +you think perhaps my best cap—"</p> + +<p>"You are looking awfully nice," said Hope, relieved that she took it so +calmly.</p> + +<p>Mr. Manners arrived very shortly.</p> + +<p>Hope longed to witness the meeting, but with her usual tact she +absented herself. Sitting in her bedroom, she prayed for their +happiness. There was nothing incongruous to her in the thought of their +courtship. The man might be bowed and bent with the weight of cares and +of time, the woman faded and weakened from her recent illness, but love +was a real thing to both of them, and she had no fears as to the result +of their meeting.</p> + +<p>It seemed a long time before the door opened, but he came into the +passage at last. His eyes were bright, and he held himself like a man +awakened from sleep.</p> + +<p>"Thank you for this," he said, turning to her with an old-fashioned +bow. "Please God, we will finish our lives together now. I tell her we +must have a quiet wedding up here, and go home next week. I will see +about it at once."</p> + +<p>He paused, then said solemnly:</p> + +<p>"Ah, Miss St. Clair, it's a pity a woman doesn't always know her own +mind. There's that dear little soul in there has nearly killed herself +in trying to undo a bit of her past. And I have been haunted night and +day by her presence ever since I took her house. She'll be pleased to +see her garden again!"</p> + +<p>He turned abruptly away, but Hope saw him draw his coat-sleeve across +his eyes; and was not surprised to find Miss Rill in tears. She +stretched out her hands to Hope directly she saw her.</p> + +<p>"Oh, my dear, it seems so wonderful. He wants me still—has always +wanted me, and I'm going back to King's Dell with him. Will people +think us very silly? We are both so old, but we shouldn't be younger if +we had married fifty years ago, should we? And there are lots of Darbys +and Joans in the world. I really do think I don't deserve such joy. I +told him I hadn't one penny, but he says he has enough for us both. We +shall not be rich, you know, but we shall be more comfortable doing our +own work together than lots of these grand folk in town. I feel as if +it must be a dream. Do you think it is?"</p> + +<p>"I think it plain solid fact," said Hope. "And now it is time for our +dinner. I hope you have a good appetite."</p> + +<p>She brought Miss Rill down to earth by her practical talk. A little +later they looked over her scanty wardrobe, and Hope went out shopping, +determined to spend a little on smartening up the poor bride. As soon +as it was possible, the ceremony was performed at St. Mark's.</p> + +<p>And Hope said goodbye to bride and bridegroom at Paddington station +that same afternoon. She returned to her lodgings, feeling, for the +first time, lonely and depressed. Lancelot Dane had been filling her +thoughts; the sight of Miss Rill and her old lover together brought an +aching longing to her heart for the one who belonged to her. She had +written to the country post-office, asking them to forward her letters, +and now she was awaiting her Indian mail.</p> + +<p>As she sat over her tea, her outlook was not inspiriting.</p> + +<p>"My money seems melting away. I suppose I shall hear something soon. If +Mrs. Dane comes back, it will be all right, but if she does not—oh, I +hope I shall not be a repetition of poor Miss Rill!"</p> + +<p>In the ensuing days, she practised the strictest economy, often going +without a midday meal, and making the excuse to her landlady that she +would be out at that time. She was glad that the spring weather made +it possible to go without a fire, but often she would be so cold and +hungry that she would go to bed at eight o'clock. In spite of all her +care, her little store decreased rapidly, and if it had not been for +her unswerving faith in God, she would have lost heart. As it was, she +went about with gay words on her lips and a smile for every one.</p> + +<p>She applied to various registries, hoping that perhaps she might find +some temporary engagement. But she realised that the competition, +without interest, was too great for her to be likely to succeed. Her +landlady could not make her out. Her weekly accounts were settled +promptly, and Hope's cheerfulness deceived her.</p> + +<p>"You do eat next to nothing, miss; I can't make out how you live!"</p> + +<p>"I'm very strong, Mrs. Edgar, and plain food suits me. I am not rolling +in riches, you know!"</p> + +<p>"Yet how much you did for that poor dear lady: nothing seemed too good +for her, and I know for certain that she couldn't pay for all them +dainties you gave her when she was sick."</p> + +<p>"But, you see, I had to get her well to be married," said Hope +laughing. "I take credit to myself for getting her well so quickly."</p> + +<p>"Well, I hopes you won't starve yourself," said Mrs. Edgar gloomily. +"There's a lot of that amongst gentlefolks in London. We sees a deal of +it in these kind of streets. Mrs. Smith next door had a lady—"</p> + +<p>But Hope cut Mrs. Edgar's reminiscences short.</p> + +<p>"I don't want to be frightened," she said, and she went out of doors +for a walk.</p> + +<p>That was her sole relaxation—a brisk walk across the parks, and the +spring flowers and sunshine cheered her.</p> + +<p>"It must be all right," she would say to herself. "I shall not be left +forsaken."</p> + +<p>And she would repeat to herself her favourite verse:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, our future all unknown?<br> + Jesus we know, and He is on the throne.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>She got to know a good many of the inhabitants of her quiet street +through just giving them a cheerful greeting as she passed along. The +children soon began to smile at her, and looked for a bright word, +though they knew it would not be followed by pennies. And Hope began +to feel less lonely as she knew more of her neighbours' affairs. Mrs. +Edgar was always willing to give her any information, and though it +was generally tempered a little with gloomy philosophy, Hope learnt to +extract the sweet out of the bitter, and help with her cheery talk if +not with her purse.</p> + +<p>It had been a new experience to her to have no one to look after. She +had not been so situated since she had left her aunt in London, and +hardly knew whether she liked such an experience or not.</p> + +<p>One morning she felt unusually depressed. Sitting in her room after +breakfast, she did not know what to do with her day.</p> + +<p>"I think I must look up my friends. I wonder if, in these times, it +would be improper to ask Jim Horrocks to come and see me? He would tell +me if the Fosberrys are in town again, and where the Chesneys are."</p> + +<p>She walked out an hour later, and then, strangely enough, met Jim in +the street.</p> + +<p>He was, of course, delighted.</p> + +<p>"Fancy your being up in town. This is luck! Where are you staying? I've +been away for the last month in Scotland."</p> + +<p>"In lodgings by myself. I can't explain all in a minute. Are you busy?"</p> + +<p>"Of course I am, but I shall be busy with you to-day. Walk along with +me to the nearest post-office, so that I can send a wire to somebody."</p> + +<p>"No, Jim. Don't break an engagement. I am not going to run away."</p> + +<p>"You look more like dying away!" retorted Jim. "What on earth have you +been doing with yourself? You're a wraith! This comes of forsaking your +best friends, and turning yourself into a domestic servant! Now look +here, we'll enjoy ourselves; we'll lunch and dine at the 'Criterion,' +and I'll take you for a motor spin this afternoon, and we'll do a +theatre to-night. You needn't be prudish. Young women don't need +chaperons nowadays. Besides, you are your own mistress."</p> + +<p>Hope shook her head.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image013" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image013"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image013.jpg" alt="image013"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN DOING</b><br> +<b>WITH YOURSELF? YOU'RE A WRAITH!"</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"You're very kind, Jim, but that kind of thing isn't my style now. I +doubt if in the old days I would have done it. If you can spare me an +hour, I shall be delighted to have a chat. But this afternoon will suit +me quite as well."</p> + +<p>"No time like the present. It's a nice day; wait till I have sent my +wire, and then we'll go across the park."</p> + +<p>Hope acquiesced. She was soon telling Jim of the change in her +circumstances, but though she made very light of her perplexities, Jim +read between the lines and understood.</p> + +<p>"It's enough to raise your aunt's ghost!" he said. "But you're +altogether too quixotic to be wise. Now what news have I to tell you? +Minnie Chesney is getting married. Have you not received an invitation? +They're in your part of the world."</p> + +<p>"It may have gone to King's Dell, and not been forwarded. But in any +case, I would not have gone."</p> + +<p>"The Fosberrys are still abroad. I fancy they mean to cure Lady May's +infatuation for slumming. The Murrays are in town, and the Sclaters, +and Barrys, and the Ismore-Jones—and the De Waldrons and—"</p> + +<p>"Oh, spare me!" cried Hope. "I don't want to see one of them."</p> + +<p>"Are you a vegetarian?" Jim demanded suddenly.</p> + +<p>Hope laughed.</p> + +<p>"It isn't bad fare, but I'm not one by principle."</p> + +<p>"But by practice. Hope, you shall, for old acquaintance' sake, come +and have a rattling good lunch with me. And I know where we will go. +I have an old aunt; I believe you met her once. She is staying at +the Grosvenor—Mrs. Dalby-Popples—sounds like a character in Dickens, +doesn't it? She's delighted if I look her up; you and I will lunch with +her, and we'll go there now. Hansom!"</p> + +<p>He had hailed one, and Hope found herself in it, driving away to the +Grosvenor Hotel, before she could remonstrate.</p> + +<p>"What will she say, Jim?"</p> + +<p>"You wait and see."</p> + +<p>"I hope you won't tell her you found me starving in the street; your +insinuations are rather that way?"</p> + +<p>"Ah! There's a spark of the old Hope left! I began to think your +circumstances had crushed the spirit out of you! I shall tell her what +I like, and you are not to be cantankerous!"</p> + +<p>"I believe I do remember your aunt. Her name is quite familiar. Didn't +you bring her to the Academy one day when we were there?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; she comes up to town about once in seven years. Here we are!"</p> + +<p>Hope was soon shaking hands with Mrs. Dalby-Popples, who was a stout +old lady with a placid smile and great simplicity of nature. "This is +Miss St. Clair, an old friend of yours, aunt—at least, she ought to be +if she's not, for she and I have been chums for over twenty years. You +know Mrs. Daubeney. She was Hope's aunt."</p> + +<p>"Really? Very glad to see you, Miss St. Clair. You must stay to +luncheon. I always lunch in my private sitting-room, and it will be +delightful to have visitors. I know very few people in town, and I +suppose I am not attractive in myself. I don't entertain, and I'm not +very rich; I assure you I spend a month here, and see perhaps six +people. I don't count Jim. He comes and goes as he likes. Are you a +special friend of his, my dear?"</p> + +<p>She asked this so meaningly that the colour rose in Hope's cheeks. Jim +looked at her and laughed.</p> + +<p>"Oh, we ought to have been married long ago," he said. "And even now +the wheel of fate may turn in my favour. But another man is the lucky +chap at present."</p> + +<p>"We have only met each other by chance to-day in the street," said +Hope, regaining her composure. "Jim brought me straight here."</p> + +<p>"You look rather delicate, my dear. I wonder if you ever take Parish's +Food; I have given it to several of my young friends with most marked +success. Are you engaged to be married? I wonder if I know the young +fellow?"</p> + +<p>Hope gave Lancelot's name, and Mrs. Dalby-Poppies chatted pleasantly +on, till lunch was ready. Hope enjoyed every moment of that visit. +She seemed to shake off a little of her tiredness and gravity, and +determining to live in the present only, she proved a very cheerful and +entertaining visitor to the old lady.</p> + +<p>When she left her, it was with the promise that she would come and see +her again. Jim escorted her to her lodgings, and frowned disapproval at +her street.</p> + +<p>"It's respectable, but sordid," he said. "How long do you mean to stay +here?"</p> + +<p>"It suits my purse," said Hope. "I am thinking of getting some +employment, Jim. What do you think I could do?"</p> + +<p>"Pretty nearly anything you turned your hand to," responded Jim. +"Hasn't that always been the case with you? You were always good at +games, I remember, beat me hollow at tennis more than once; golf, +hockey, whatever it was, you always shone in it!"</p> + +<p>"Thank you. But I want to earn money, so games would do me no good. +Will you come in?"</p> + +<p>"You know you don't want me to!"</p> + +<p>"Well, I must thank you for introducing me to your aunt, and for a very +pleasant day."</p> + +<p>"It is only 'au revoir,'" said Jim, as he shook hands with her.</p> + +<p>Hope went upstairs to her room to find two letters awaiting her; one +from Kitty, the other was her Indian mail.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_23">Chapter XXIII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>WAITING</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>LANCELOT'S letter was written from a sick bed. He had had a bad attack +of fever, and had been unable to write. He was in great concern over +Hope, and told her that circumstances were guiding him to return home +at once.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "My bailiff in the North has died very suddenly," he wrote, "and I am +wanted to look into things. And now you are free, I am impatient to +get to you. I cannot bear to think of you as housekeeping companion +to that penurious old Squire. I was very doubtful, as I told you, +whether I ought to have returned to India, and the doctors say I've +been here long enough. I should not think of my health if I were really +needed out here, but everything points to my returning. As soon as I +can travel, I shall get back to my mother, and see what she thinks. +Meanwhile, will you promise to take the greatest care of yourself for +my sake? I know you will not do it for yours."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>This, and much more, brought the colour to Hope's cheeks and the light +to her eyes.</p> + +<p>"He is coming back. I need have no anxiety now."</p> + +<p>And then she wondered if his health was really bad, and when she could +hear again, for he had told her that he might send a cablegram, if he +decided to come home at once.</p> + +<p>For a long time she sat in happy dreams over her letter, then she took +up Kitty's.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "MY DARLING HOPE,—HOW I hate Mr. Spencer! I was in such a fury when +I heard how he treated you that I dashed out of the house determined +to have it out with him, and then I tumbled downstairs in my furious +haste, and wrenched my ankle, and had to lie up a whole week. Of course +this is his fault, not mine! Well, yesterday I managed to get to him; +but I encountered a very grand lady in the hall, who said she was his +sister. Directly she spoke of you, we were the greatest friends, for I +told her what an angel you were, and she seemed to agree so thoroughly. +I couldn't help laughing when we went in to Mr. Spencer, and I felt +rather sorry for him too!<br> +<br> + "Mrs. Harper said, 'Miss Parr has come to ask why Miss St. Clair is not +here.'<br> +<br> + "He was sitting at his study table pretending to read the newspaper, +and he turned round with a half-shamed look on his face.<br> +<br> + "'You women plague my life out!' he growled.<br> +<br> + "Then I spoke up. 'That Mrs. Hadley does, and you ought to get rid of +her!'<br> +<br> + "'Oh,' said Mrs. Harper coolly, 'she's going this afternoon, both she +and her husband—I have arranged that. This house is not fit for pigs to +live in.'<br> +<br> + "Then Mr. Spencer broke into a kind of sobbing fury; he seemed quite +helpless, and yet as angry as he could be.<br> +<br> + "'You're turning my house inside out, and when you've cleared out my +servants, you'll leave me to be ruined and cheated by extravagant +worthless creatures, who will make my life a misery!'<br> +<br> + "'I'm going to see that you live in comfort, as a gentleman should,' +said Mrs. Harper, 'and I shall not leave you till it's done.'<br> +<br> + "I chuckled. Then I wondered how she would manage, and suggested that +Mrs. Goddles and a niece of hers should come in till proper servants +could be found. I went off at once and settled that; and to-day Mrs. +Harper came up to us to say that the Squire wanted you back, and that +when the Hadleys had really left, he seemed quite relieved in his mind. +She is such a capable woman that I believe she will alter the whole of +Mr. Spencer's house, and make him live like other people. She says she +will stay till she does it, and the Squire seems quite helpless in her +hands.<br> +<br> + "I've had a jolly letter from Brian, and I'm going to write every month +to him. Dad says I'm not to write oftener. Mr. and Mrs. Manners are +a great joke. I passed by to-day and found them following each other +all over the garden. They come to church and sit close together like +two love-birds, and she walks home leaning on his arm and looking +quite pretty! She has started the poultry again, and they're full of +business as well as love. When I marry, I shall never take Brian's arm, +and never follow him about or wait upon him; but I'm sure he wouldn't +expect it. The only time I shall be really affectionate to him will be +when he is very ill, or when he's just going away on a long journey. +You'll have to come back to us. Every one misses you so. Tons of love.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 7.5em;">"Your affectionate</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 13.5em;">"KITTY."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope smiled and sighed over this letter. She was not surprised when the +next post brought her a letter from the Squire.</p> + +<p>It was as follows:—</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "DEAR MISS ST. CLAIR,—As the Hadleys have gone, will you come back? My +sister, Mrs. Harper, is bewildering me by her rapid movements. I am +humouring her by letting her act as she likes, but I am master of my +own house, and mean to be. I tell her she need have no expectations +from me. If you come back, it must be for good and all, I am too old +for these changes. They are most upsetting. As I have hinted before, +you will not be the loser at my death by pleasing me in my lifetime. My +sister is behaving as if I am a millionaire. I tell her she must pay +for all luxuries herself. Food and clothes are what she considers the +chief ends in life. If she kept under her body a little more, it might +give her brain a chance of making itself apparent.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">"Yours truly,</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 11em;">"ALAN T. SPENCER.</span><br> +<br> + "P.S.—I should hope that foolish entanglement of yours has come to a +conclusion. I can do better for you than he."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"Poor old man!" said Hope, with real pity and concern. "After all my +efforts, he is as closely wrapped up in self and money as ever he was! +Oh, how I wish his heart could be reached and touched!"</p> + +<p>She debated within herself as to whether she should return to him or +not. And then that same evening, she got a cablegram forwarded from +King's Dell post-office.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Coming home by 'Malabar.'—DANE."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>The next day Jim appeared, with a message from his aunt. She wanted +Hope to drive down to Richmond that afternoon with her.</p> + +<p>Hope assented, and walking to the Grosvenor with Jim, told him of her +letters.</p> + +<p>"I want advice. I think I had better wait in town till the 'Malabar' +arrives. I suppose Mrs. Dane is returning with her son. I should not +like them to find me at Mr. Spencer's. And he would be furious if I +left him again so soon."</p> + +<p>"Of course, you mustn't go near that old screw. He treated you +abominably. I'll find out when the 'Malabar' is due."</p> + +<p>"But I feel so sorry for the old man."</p> + +<p>"He has his sister with him. Don't you see that if you go down, you'll +only oust her, and she's the proper person to look after him!"</p> + +<p>"I did hope," said Hope, a little wistfully, "that I could have got him +to view life in a different way. We used to have some very nice talks +sometimes."</p> + +<p>"Oh, rot, my dear girl! You can't expect an old fellow like that to +change the habits of a lifetime after a few talks with you. Leave him +alone. Now don't put on a long face!"</p> + +<p>"But, Jim, isn't it awful? What a master habit can become! You see, +since he met with a disappointment, the Squire has lived all his life +for himself alone. He doesn't reckon other people at all. It has made +him genuinely and perfectly miserable. I can't help thinking of the end +of his life. How sorry he will be then, that he has wasted it so."</p> + +<p>"Ah, well, we don't all look at things so seriously," said Jim. "And +what man or woman does not live for self? It's the natural thing to +do! Good people are quite as selfish as profligate sinners; it's a +mere matter of fancy. It pleases some to amuse themselves one way, it +pleases others to amuse themselves another. Churchgoing, philanthropy, +politics, racing, and gambling are only favourite pursuits of various +natures."</p> + +<p>"But, Jim, do you think we are meant to live utterly irresponsible? We +are not heathen."</p> + +<p>"We are not all devotees of religion. How would the world go on if we +were?"</p> + +<p>"It would be heaven," said Hope.</p> + +<p>Jim laughed.</p> + +<p>"I like to hear you talk," he said. "I do admire you for holding tight +to your faith through all your buffetings of fate, but I couldn't do it +myself."</p> + +<p>"You don't want to."</p> + +<p>"I am content as I am."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Jim, if you only knew what a difference it makes when God is +inside our lives instead of outside! You're not an infidel; you go to +church. Why don't you believe properly what you pretend to believe?"</p> + +<p>Jim looked at her gravely.</p> + +<p>"You're hitting hard. That is the weak point of my religion, I own. +We English are not as religious as the Hindus or Mohammedans. They +aren't ashamed of their religion—we are. That is one of the results of +excessive civilisation."</p> + +<p>"I hope I am not ashamed of mine," said Hope thoughtfully. "I find it +difficult to talk to people about it. I wish I did not."</p> + +<p>"Well, you've talked to me about it, and now we'll talk of something +else."</p> + +<p>It was always the way with Jim. He could never be serious long. Hope +sighed inwardly. She wanted every one she liked to have the same +happiness that she had, and she knew there was only the one source from +which it could come.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>For the next few days she felt rather undecided as to what she +had better do. Then she heard that the 'Malabar' would arrive in +a fortnight's time, and that decided her. She wrote kindly to Mr. +Spencer, telling him exactly how she was situated. She also wrote to +his sister.</p> + +<p>And a few days afterwards, she had a visit from her.</p> + +<p>"I am up in town again for a few days. I am really going to take up +my abode for the present at 'The Retreat.' I have found a capital man +and his wife. I am taking down a maid for myself, and I mean to have a +village girl in by the day. A very small household for such a house, +but I have to go gently. My dear Miss St. Clair, you have bewitched +my poor brother. He quotes you to me on every occasion, and is really +heartbroken that you won't return. I have had a dreadful time with him, +but his age tells upon him, and I think that if he finds he can rely +upon me to manage his household without any trouble to him, he will +be willing to leave it in my hands. Those Hadleys, were rogues. They +simply cheated and stole right and left. I think with my additional two +maids I shall manage more economically than with them. I have given my +brother a very straight talk.</p> + +<p>"'You are selfish, and I am selfish,' I said to him. 'Unless we both +prepare to exercise a little unselfishness, we shall never pull +together!'</p> + +<p>"He didn't like it at first, but I believe he is afraid of being left +alone again, and I am almost inclined to think that some of your words +are sticking to him. He said to me a night or two ago, when we were +sitting over the fire in his smoking-room,—</p> + +<p>"'It's a wonderful thing to stand by and live by one's creed as that +girl does!'</p> + +<p>"You are always 'that girl,' let me say. I listened, but said nothing. +Presently he said again,—</p> + +<p>"'If she had come back to me, I meant to have had a regular turn round +amongst my tenants. She would so have enjoyed putting things a bit +straight!'</p> + +<p>"'Well,' I said, 'I shall enjoy that, and I'll help you to do it!'</p> + +<p>"And I mean to keep him up to it, Miss St. Clair. His property is a +disgrace to him!"</p> + +<p>"Yes," assented Hope. "I think he has drifted into doing nothing, and +finds it difficult to start now. I am so thankful you are going to live +with him."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Harper looked at her with twinkling eyes.</p> + +<p>"You are a strange young woman. Why do you take such an interest in +him? Is it your way to befriend everybody you come across? I never do."</p> + +<p>"No," said Hope slowly, "I don't think I am quick to make friends, but +I can't help being interested in people with whom I am brought into +touch."</p> + +<p>"Are you interested in me?"</p> + +<p>"I think I am a little. I felt you had it in your power to make him +happy, and you are going to do it."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Harper laughed.</p> + +<p>"When are you going to be married? And where are you going to settle? I +don't want to lose sight of you."</p> + +<p>Hope promised to write and let her know, when she knew herself, and +Mrs. Harper departed to collect her belongings in town and convey them +down to her brother's. Hope was very busy that fortnight. She had not +much money left, but she felt more satisfied with her wardrobe when she +had been able to give it some consideration. Her heart danced within +her as the 'Malabar' drew nearer to the shores of England. She counted +every day, and was so full of the future that her landlady declared she +imagined she could live on air. And then the eventful day came at last, +and faithful Jim came round in the morning to know if he could be of +any service to her.</p> + +<p>"They will think I am at King's Dell," said Hope. "I should like you to +meet them and tell them where I am. Is it asking too much of you, Jim? +I would rather not meet them myself at the docks. I know they will come +to Claridge's. Mrs. Dane always stays there."</p> + +<p>Jim made a wry face. "Hasn't he any brothers? I thought one was a +barrister in town. Why don't you write to him?"</p> + +<p>"Paul has been ill and gone abroad. Rufus is in the North somewhere, +and cannot leave his wife who is in delicate health. I know it is +asking a good deal."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm your man! But I never did like taking a back seat, so after +to-day, I'll make myself scarce. If there's anything shady about him, +or you want a man on your side, a wire will always bring me to you. I +think I'll say goodbye."</p> + +<p>"Jim, you're a dear!"</p> + +<p>Hope shook hands with him with tears in her eyes. She knew this was a +parting that would last; for Jim would be as good as his word. He would +come to her if she wanted him, but he could not stand seeing another +man have the first right to her.</p> + +<p>He went, and Hope endeavoured to occupy herself and keep herself from +becoming impatient for the hours to pass. She tried to improve the look +of her sitting-room, and was delighted when her landlady brought her in +a bunch of daffodils.</p> + +<p>"A man called with a basketful, miss. I took the liberty of getting +some. I know you're expecting visitors!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Edgar nodded her head mysteriously, and then added that she was +getting a very nice tea ready in case the gentleman would like it when +he arrived. Though Hope begged her not to do it, nothing would stop +her. And presently the round table was covered with Mrs. Edgar's best +white cloth, a plate of shrimps, some watercress, a currant cake, two +pots of jam, and a large plate of cut bread and butter.</p> + +<p>Hope smiled to herself, but gave up remonstrating.</p> + +<p>"And I've a couple of muffins a-toasting downstairs, and the kettle is +biling, so all you've got to do, miss, is to ring the bell when you +want to make the tea."</p> + +<p>With that Mrs. Edgar departed, and then as Hope sat by her window, +sudden fear overtook her.</p> + +<p>Supposing the "Malabar" arrived without him? He might have been taken +worse. He might be on board very ill. Perhaps Jim would miss seeing +them. They might have landed at Plymouth. Trouble and doubt crept into +her eyes as the time went by and there were no signs of any arrival.</p> + +<p>It was a bright spring afternoon, a tempting opportunity for many +to venture out of doors. On the opposite side crept an old man, on +crutches, with a violent cough. Every now and then he paused to cough, +and the attacks left him weak and breathless. Further up the street was +an organ-grinder with a circle of dancing children round him. Not many +cabs or carriages passed through the street; a few tradesmen's carts +were standing at different houses; the servant-maids, and in some cases +the mistresses, were many of them standing on the doorstep enjoying a +chat in the sunshine.</p> + +<p>Hope looked and noted every detail. How would her surroundings strike +her lover? Would he come to her this afternoon or not? She left the +window with a little shiver, and turned to stir the fire. It was +extravagant having one, with her slender purse, but she had been +anxious to make her room look as comfortable as possible. Then at +last she heard the sound of wheels, a sharp ring at the door, and two +minutes later, as she stood in the middle of the room breathless with +expectancy, the door opened and Lancelot came towards her.</p> + +<p>She had only time to note that he looked brown, and thin, but with his +arms round her, his voice sounding in her ears, her surroundings seemed +to melt away, she was wafted into a little paradise. At last she found +words, and came back to the practical world.</p> + +<p>"Is your mother with you?"</p> + +<p>"At Claridge's. I am to bring you to her at once. Now, my darling, let +me look at you. How I have hungered for this moment! You are thin and +fragile-looking; have you been ill?"</p> + +<p>"No, I am always very strong."</p> + +<p>Lancelot looked round the room. His keen, quick eye took note of +everything. As his glance fell upon the table, he said:</p> + +<p>"A London landlady's tea! But have you been living on shrimps and bread +and butter?"</p> + +<p>"You are not to laugh at it. It has been spread in honour of you. Will +you delight her heart and have some tea?"</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image014" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image014"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image014.jpg" alt="image014"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>HER SURROUNDINGS SEEMED TO MELT AWAY,</b><br> +<b>SHE WAS WAFTED INTO A LITTLE PARADISE.</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"I ask for nothing better than this—with you!"</p> + +<p>Hope's checks were pink with excitement, her eyes shone. She rang the +bell, and had the kettle and the muffins brought in. Lancelot sat down, +but though he tasted of the fare Mrs. Edgar had provided, his eyes +never left Hope's face.</p> + +<p>"I liked your cottage better than this," he said; "why are you here?"</p> + +<p>"I have a lot to tell you. But my news will wait. Are you well again? I +have been so anxious."</p> + +<p>"I picked up, as I always do, on the voyage home. It was unfortunate +that I should have been sent to an unhealthy station. I was very vexed +with myself for not being able to stand it better, but as you know I +came home on sick-leave a year ago, and I don't think I had a fair +start. Hope, you must have your belongings sent to Claridge's. You +shall not sleep here another night. My mother expects you."</p> + +<p>"Oh, but you take my breath away! I am very comfortable here."</p> + +<p>"This will be your last meal here, I can tell you!"</p> + +<p>He said it with a smile, but Hope recognised the masterful tone. She +did not resent it. She had taken care of others for so long, that it +was delicious to her to feel that it was now her turn to be managed and +cared for.</p> + +<p>"I don't know that I can leave so suddenly," she said gently.</p> + +<p>"I will arrange it. Leave your luggage here till to-morrow, if you +like, but my mother is expecting you to dine and sleep."</p> + +<p>"Did Jim meet you at the docks?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, and it was good news to me to find you in town. Now I am +impatient to take you to more comfortable quarters. Will you get ready, +and I will tell your landlady?"</p> + +<p>Hope meekly obeyed. It was in the hansom, driving to Claridge's, that +she told Lancelot how it was she was in town. But to him she made light +of her previous anxieties and shortness of money. Yet his brows were +knitted more than once, and just before they reached the hotel, he took +her hand in his, and said in a quiet tense tone:</p> + +<p>"It will be my business now to see that those kind of worries never +touch you."</p> + +<p>The tears rushed into Hope's eyes.</p> + +<p>Then she said, trying to smile:</p> + +<p>"Well, through it all, Lancelot, I think I can say I have had—</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> + "'Peace, perfect peace.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_24">Chapter XXIV</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>WEDDING BELLS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>WHEN Hope found Mrs. Dane's welcoming arms round her, she clung to +her almost hysterically. The relief and rest, after her anxious life +lately, were too much for her.</p> + +<p>"Oh," she said, with a sob in her throat, "I have longed for you so! +I really believe I have longed as much for you as for Lancelot; only +don't tell him so. I feel as if I am twenty years younger at this +moment than I was this time yesterday. Girls talk of independence and +freedom! I am longing to be dependent on some one, to let myself go +without any more thought or contrivance, knowing that I have people at +the back of me. Am I getting incoherent? I feel quite unnerved."</p> + +<p>"You look strained to pieces," said Mrs. Dane, placing her hand in a +motherly fashion under Hope's chin, and turning her face upwards with +tender solicitude. "Your life has been too hard, too rough, dear; what +could your brother have been thinking about, to let you get so thin and +worn!"</p> + +<p>"Brian? Oh, it is ages since I have been with him. I am not ill; I am +very strong, you know, but I missed the boys when they left me. I think +I have been quite homesick for them."</p> + +<p>"I shall not let you leave me till you are married," said Mrs. Dane, in +her quiet decisive manner. "There is no one in England to dispute my +claim, is there?"</p> + +<p>"No one," said Hope, with a smile and a sigh.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane seemed as if she could not do enough for Hope that evening. +She took her to a comfortable bedroom next to her own, which she had +had prepared for her. And there, in a big easy chair by a blazing fire, +she made her sit and talk to her.</p> + +<p>"We will have our tea brought to us. Lancelot has had to go to the +station about some of our luggage. He can have his turn with you after +dinner; this is my opportunity. I want to hear everything, Hope, +dearest. Treat me like a mother, tell me everything about yourself. How +little I thought when I left you that you would want me so soon! Tell +me about that terrible flood."</p> + +<p>So, leaning back amongst her cushions, with a laughing protest at +being considered an invalid, Hope began her story. She told Mrs. Dane +everything; her love and sympathy seemed to demand full confidence.</p> + +<p>She described in detail the terrible time when the cottage was +inundated, the last hours of her father's life, and the consequent +breaking up of the home. She told of Kitty's engagement to Brian—for +Hope would always consider it such—and then of her life with the old +Squire, and her subsequent visit to London. The story of Miss Rill's +discovery and of her marriage interested Mrs. Dane greatly. But when +Hope came to speak of her life in lodgings since that event, there was +more hesitation in her tone, Mrs. Dane's quick intuition solved the +cause.</p> + +<p>"Hope, dearest, confide in me. There need be no secrets. You told me +long ago that you were entirely dependent on your father. You have said +that your brother handed you over a small sum, and I am positively +certain that Miss Rill's expenses swallowed up the greater part of it. +Have you been starving yourself? You look like it. Have you found it +difficult to make both ends meet? No, don't answer me. I see that you +have."</p> + +<p>And then Hope put her face in her hands and sobbed aloud.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image015" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image015"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image015.jpg" alt="image015"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>HOPE PUT HER FACE IN HER HANDS</b><br> +<b>AND SOBBED ALOUD.</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"My pride has long ago departed, Mrs. Dane. It has been a bitter +thought that your son is taking a penniless girl for his wife. I have +struggled and struggled to keep a little in hand. I have tried hard +to earn something, but here I am, as you see, absolutely homeless and +penniless. What would you feel like if you were in my shoes? I suppose +God sees it to be good for me, otherwise He would have ordered it +differently. I can only feel grateful that it is myself that Lancelot +wants, for he knows I will bring him nothing else!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane's thoughts went back to that first evening when she saw Hope +enter Kayminster Cathedral. She remembered the dainty, richly-dressed +girl, who looked as if wealth and luxury had always been her portion, +and she glanced at that same girl now. What she saw brought a smile to +her lips and eyes. She laid her hand tenderly on Hope's soft brown head.</p> + +<p>"We must not have tears, Hope, dearest. I know which daughter-in-law +I prefer. I have seen you in prosperity, and I see you now, and the +cares and privation and loss of all that makes life dear to most girls, +has only refined and strengthened and beautified your soul. I am not +flattering you. Thank God that He has been your Teacher, and thank Him +for helping you to learn your lessons so well."</p> + +<p>Hope was ashamed of her loss of self-control.</p> + +<p>"I am unnerved to-day," she said looking up with a smile. "It is +good of you to speak so. I wish I deserved such praise. I have been +selfishly taking up all this time in talking of my own affairs. Now +tell me about yourself and Lancelot."</p> + +<p>They sat by the fire, talking till nearly dinner-time. Lancelot +returned in time for it, and it was served in their private +sitting-room. And then afterwards Mrs. Dane retired to her room, giving +the young couple an opportunity of being alone together.</p> + +<p>They had a great deal to tell each other, though perhaps Lancelot did +most of the talking. Hope was too happy to say much, and she was tired, +feeling the strain of the past few weeks more, now that it was over, +than she had done at the time. She sat still in her easy chair, and +when Lancelot was not by her side, he was standing on the rug, looking +down upon her. She caught one of his intent glances, and laughed up at +him.</p> + +<p>"I am nothing much to look at; I don't believe you have listened to my +last remark."</p> + +<p>"If you knew how I had hungered for this moment, you would understand +what a feast you are to my eyes," he replied gravely. Then he sat down +by her side, and took her hand in his. "I am brimful of plans," he +said, "and want your assistance. First of all, when are we going to +be married? I should like it to be to-morrow. You do not want a show +ceremony, Hope?"</p> + +<p>"No," she said, a little startled by his eager haste. "But you must +give me breathing space."</p> + +<p>"I want you to come straight to the North with me. I think you will +like Brunsworthy Hall. I am due there at once. Why should we not go +down as man and wife?"</p> + +<p>Hope remained silent for a moment, then she looked up sweetly.</p> + +<p>"Let me talk to your mother about it. I will not keep you waiting long. +Tell me about your country home."</p> + +<p>So Lancelot told her all he knew, and described the old stone house +near the Yorkshire moors, and the tenants upon his property, and +the neighbours round, and then he and Hope began to make plans for +improving the moral state of the poor.</p> + +<p>"We are five miles from church, and the Vicar is old and feeble, +there is no one to visit in the village, and the state of some of +the families there is not much better than that of the heathen. The +properties are large, and our friends will be few and far between, but +I am certain that you will not feel lonely, for you will have many to +help and comfort."</p> + +<p>"You amongst them," said Hope, with a flush on her cheek and light in +her eye. "Oh, Lancelot, I am a very happy woman to-night!"</p> + +<p>The time went very quickly. Mrs. Dane came into the room at last, to +advise Hope going to bed, and as she laid her head on her pillow that +night, she felt like a battered storm-tossed craft landed safely in a +quiet haven.</p> + +<p>The next few days seemed like a dream to her. There was a great deal +of shopping to be done. Hope went to her lodgings to pack up all her +belongings and to say goodbye to her landlady.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Edgar was sincerely sorry to lose her.</p> + +<p>"But marriage be in the air, and Mrs. Green next door she says to me,—</p> + +<p>"'Why, Mrs. Edgar,' she says; 'how you do marry hoff your ladies. +'Twill advertise your house surely!'</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Green she were uncommon struck with Miss Rill a-coming back to me +to be married, and now 'tis you, miss; but the minute I saw you I says +to myself, 'My house won't be long for her.' You had it in your own +air, miss, that though you were alone and not—excuse me—over-smartly +dressed, yet there was that about you told you were of the quality, and +I knew from the look of you that you were too good to be one of these +poor single women that crowds the hoffices in the city. I'm sure I've +never had such a lodger for cheerin' of me hup. 'Tis generally the ways +of lodgers to think their landladies just a servant; but to credit them +with hearts and feelin's like themselves—no, never!"</p> + +<p>It was a fortnight afterwards that Hope went quietly to church one +morning with Mrs. Dane in a private brougham, and was married. Paul +Dane was present, but no one else—Jim Horrocks had fortunately gone out +of town; Hope had seen him once since she had been at Claridge's, and +had thanked him gratefully for all his services.</p> + +<p>"I mean to be one of your friends still," he said to her, "when I +have recovered from the shock of your approaching marriage, for I +think it great nonsense when a husband tries to cut his wife's old +acquaintances."</p> + +<p>"Lancelot will never do that," said Hope, with assurance.</p> + +<p>"I'm thankful for your sake that you have some one to look after you at +last," said Jim. "And don't you stay up in that cold 'North countree' +too long! Make your husband bring you up to town, so that your old +friends can see something of you."</p> + +<p>Hope smiled; with very few exceptions she felt as if she never cared to +see any of her London friends again. They had dropped her when she had +left her aunt's. She did not wish to renew their acquaintance now. But +she had the pleasure of a flying visit from Hester Chesney before her +wedding-day.</p> + +<p>Hester was passing through town, and had accidentally heard of Hope's +whereabouts. She kissed her most affectionately.</p> + +<p>"I thought I had lost you altogether," she said. "We have been away so +much, and since Minnie's marriage, I am a great deal tied to my mother. +But I managed to get over and see Mrs. Manners the other day. How you +have figured in her little romance! I think it is quite delightful +to see the quaint old couple in their cottage. And now your turn is +coming. I don't know that I don't envy you."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Hester!"</p> + +<p>Something in her friend's tone touched Hope. Hester looked very worn +and tired in spirit. She laughed a little constrainedly.</p> + +<p>"Your eyes are big with sympathy at once! It is only that my life is +going through a process of fresh adjustment. I told you, when Minnie +left us, that I should have to go the social rounds with my mother. My +bees and flowers are consequently suffering. You know your Bible. I +feel I have been like Moses, in the back side of the desert, and how I +have enjoyed it! Now—"</p> + +<p>"Now," interrupted Hope eagerly, "you are going to help your brethren +in the land of bondage, to rid them of their burdens. Oh, you can, +Hester! Much better than I ever could! Let us carry on the parable. +Aren't there many who feel the burden of a society life, of keeping up +appearances when they have not the means, of laughing when their hearts +are aching, and entertaining and making life pleasant for others, when +they themselves are full of bitterness and disappointment? You know +their ways. You can help them."</p> + +<p>"How?" cried Hester, a little fiercely. "You are always so visionary, +Hope! I am not such a success myself that they would be attracted by +my influence! I see the hollowness of most of it, but I don't see any +cure."</p> + +<p>"You will if you go to the right Physician, and read His Book," said +Hope softly.</p> + +<p>Hester turned abruptly away.</p> + +<p>Hope tactfully spoke of other things, but when they wished each other +goodbye, Hester said, in her abrupt way:</p> + +<p>"I always told you that you had found the right path in life, and if +you have found it, there is no earthly reason why I should not do so, +too. I will follow your clue, and will tell you the result—when I +arrive at it."</p> + +<p>Hope's wedding-day was a bright sunny one in the middle of May. The +service seemed like a dream to her; she returned to the hotel, where +they had a substantial luncheon, and then they left by a midday train +for Yorkshire.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane came to the station to see them off, accompanied by Paul.</p> + +<p>"It will not be goodbye for long," Hope said to her; "for you are +coming to stay with us very soon."</p> + +<p>And Mrs. Dane promised that she would do so.</p> + +<p>"I have not lost a son," she said; "only gained a daughter."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>When they were off, Lancelot turned to Hope with a sigh of infinite +relief.</p> + +<p>They were comfortably established in a first-class carriage.</p> + +<p>"We shall be alone at last," he said. "I don't think a wedding is an +enjoyable performance, do you?"</p> + +<p>Hope laughed a little shyly.</p> + +<p>"It is the feeling that it is such a tremendous thing that paralyses +one, I believe. I can't make myself clear, but I am only now realising +that we are man and wife."</p> + +<p>Lancelot responded as only a lover can. He showered every attention on +her, and as they swiftly passed through the lovely English country, +noting the lambs in the meadows, the hedges of white hawthorn, and the +snowy fruit-blossoms in the orchards, she exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"I would like this journey to last for ever, just you and I, with no +outsiders to distract us. The end of it will bring business and thought +to you. Now we are selfishly engrossed with ourselves. Our circle is +very small, but—"</p> + +<p>"It is intense," put in Lancelot, "like the focus of a magnifying glass +in the sun, the smaller the circle, the more force and power there are +existing."</p> + +<p>Hope took time to think this out.</p> + +<p>"It doesn't sound right," she said, laughing; "for the smallest circle +one can have is round oneself, and that is stagnation."</p> + +<p>"Yes, one absolutely comes to a standstill in that case, but we revolve +round each other, do we not? Oh, Hope, little woman, we will not talk +wisely to-day! I feel I have no words. I only want to have you close to +me, and remember that you are mine. I am thanking God for such a gift!"</p> + +<p>Hope rested her head against his shoulder in supreme content.</p> + +<p>"I am much afraid," she said, after a pause, "that I am a very +weak-minded old-fashioned woman. My greatest comfort and solace now is +thinking that I shall never have to think for myself again. I shall +lean hard on you, dearest, and I feel that you will never fail me. The +strength of a man mentally and physically is such a comfort and rest to +me. I never can understand why women fight for supremacy!"</p> + +<p>"Equality, is it not?" said Lancelot, smiling.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps so. But why should they want to take up the burden and cares +of responsibility? It is what brings grey hair and wrinkles to many a +single woman before her time!"</p> + +<p>"You are a little philosopher. I am ready to ease you of all that I can +in the future."</p> + +<p>"No, you must not make me selfish. I shall wish to share with you where +I can."</p> + +<p>Then, after a few minutes' silence, she said:</p> + +<p>"I feel half afraid of happiness now, Lancelot—I mean such happiness +as ours at present. For a long time I have felt that I have needed +discipline. You see, I had such an easy self-indulgent life so long, +and then, when I really began to serve God, it seemed as if I needed +so much teaching that He changed all my circumstances, and He has been +leading me step by step ever since, teaching me to trust when I can't +see. I wonder if I have learnt my lesson properly, and whether He +thinks a little green pasture and rest good for me now?"</p> + +<p>Lancelot looked down upon Hope's sweet face with great tenderness.</p> + +<p>"It will be green pastures for me, too. Don't let us question our +happiness, but take it with thankful hearts, my darling."</p> + +<p>The express sped on; day was deepening into dusk. The young couple +relapsed into silence. Both were in rapt and dreamy enjoyment of the +present moment, when suddenly, without any warning, there was a shriek +of the whistle, a momentary slacking of the terrific pace at which they +were going, a grinding crash, an awful shock—and then oblivion, dark +and total!</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_25">Chapter XXV</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>IN THE BORDERLAND</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>HOPE came to her senses very gradually.</p> + +<p>First she thought she was in bed, just waking up, and for a moment she +began to wonder where she was. Then she was conscious of voices, and +then of some one touching her. She opened her eyes. A strange man was +bending over her.</p> + +<p>"Do not be anxious. You have no bones broken, and I have dressed your +only wound. You were stunned. How do you feel?"</p> + +<p>"What is the matter with me?"</p> + +<p>Hope's voice was feeble and weak.</p> + +<p>"You had a nasty cut on your head, but it was not very deep."</p> + +<p>"I—I feel so stupid and dizzy—oh, I was in the train—where is +Lancelot—my husband?"</p> + +<p>There was silence. In a moment she had sprung up from a sofa on which +she had been lying. She found herself in the first-class waiting-room +of a railway station. The doctor who had been attending to her was +already turning away, and a hospital nurse came forward.</p> + +<p>"Please keep still," she said. "It will be better for you. The doctor +is so busy; so many are needing him. It has been a terrible accident. +Happily you were only outside our station, and we were wired for at +once. A great many have already been moved to the hospital here."</p> + +<p>Hope hardly heard her. In agony she pushed her aside, stumbling across +several other women in reclining positions on the floor, and rapidly +made her way along the platform. It was crowded. Impromptu litters had +been made, and were being carried along the line; cabs were taking off +inanimate forms; everywhere men and women were hurrying to and fro, and +women's voices were raised in shrill cries for their belongings.</p> + +<p>"He is dead!" Hope said in her heart.</p> + +<p>In silence she went from one to the other, peering into the face of +every wounded man. At last, some one touched her on the arm.</p> + +<p>"Are you looking for any one?" It was an elderly porter who spoke.</p> + +<p>"My husband. Where are those who are dead?"</p> + +<p>"'Tis hard to say. They've taken the worst cases to the hospital. What +kind of gent was he?"</p> + +<p>Hope did not answer. She flew to a cab.</p> + +<p>"Take me to the hospital," she exclaimed. "Quick! I must find my +husband."</p> + +<p>It was not very far. In the entrance-hall a sister met her. She had +already received many distracted relatives.</p> + +<p>"Yes," she said, "I will help you, if you describe your husband to me."</p> + +<p>"Tall," said Hope, a quick sob escaping her; "thin, a brown moustache, +a dark tweed suit, a buff covert coat, and violets in his buttonhole."</p> + +<p>She had placed the violets there herself. Was it a year ago?</p> + +<p>"Ah," said the sister gently, "he is here. I remember noting the +violets. Come in and wait. I will make inquiries."</p> + +<p>Hope was shown into a small waiting-room. Dizzy and weak, with an +aching throbbing head, she tried to calm herself, and prepare for the +worst. Her lips moved in prayer.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "O God, we were so happy! Oh! I cannot bear it! Let him be alive! Let +him be alive!"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>It seemed hours before the sister returned, and she was accompanied by +one of the doctors.</p> + +<p>"I am sorry, madam," he said slowly, "but is your husband's name +Lancelot Dane?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. Is he dead?"</p> + +<p>Hope was surprised at the quietness of her own voice.</p> + +<p>"No—but I can hardly give you hope of his recovery. We discovered his +visiting-card in his pocket. That is how I know his name. He has been +badly crushed, and we fear injury to his spine."</p> + +<p>"Where is he? Take me to him."</p> + +<p>"You cannot see him just at present. He has not recovered +consciousness."</p> + +<p>"Take me to him. I am his wife."</p> + +<p>Hope's tone was peremptory.</p> + +<p>The sister laid her hand on her arm.</p> + +<p>"The doctors are attending to him now. You must wait, I am afraid. Are +you near home?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know where we are."</p> + +<p>"This is York. You were just coming into the station when the accident +occurred. But I am afraid your husband cannot be moved."</p> + +<p>She looked questioningly at the doctor as she spoke. He answered:</p> + +<p>"If Mrs.—Mrs. Dane had quiet rooms to which she could move him at once, +it might be done. Later it would be impossible."</p> + +<p>"I am a stranger. Sister, do you not know of any place I could take +him to? Our home is at Brunsworthy Hall, and that is thirty miles from +York."</p> + +<p>The sister hastily conferred with the doctor.</p> + +<p>Hope caught the words:</p> + +<p>"No room—such small accommodation—better with a private nurse."</p> + +<p>And then the sister spoke to her again.</p> + +<p>"I do know of some very nice rooms. The landlady is most reliable. We +think Mr. Dane might be moved in an hour's time."</p> + +<p>"He is very ill," said the doctor, looking at Hope gravely. "Have you +any friends who had better be told?"</p> + +<p>"Oh," cried Hope; "we were only married this morning!"</p> + +<p>He murmured something which she could not catch, and left the room.</p> + +<p>"I will give you the address of rooms," said the sister. "Would you not +like to go to them now, so that you could be ready for your husband +when we send him?"</p> + +<p>Hope turned away with a nod of assent. She could not trust herself to +speak.</p> + +<p>It was a good thing for her that she was forced to act. She went out +into the street and soon found the rooms. The landlady rose to the +occasion. A bed was prepared in a large bedroom on the ground floor, +and two hours later Hope was face to face with her husband. Alas, she +could hardly recognise him! He seemed to her to be in bandages from +head to foot. A nurse came with him and a doctor. Hope could only stand +by in agony of soul, and see them doing all that was necessary. Then +she overheard her landlady speaking to the doctor in the hall; and she +heard his reply given in quick decided tones.</p> + +<p>"He has not the slightest chance. He may linger some days. We have done +all we can for him, and he has a capital nurse. If he lives beyond +to-morrow, I will send a night nurse. It is too critical a case to +leave to his wife."</p> + +<p>Hope wondered vaguely why there was need of nurses, if he were dying.</p> + +<p>She seemed now almost stupefied, and when her landlady came into the +room, and asked her if she would like some food before she went to bed, +she was powerless to make reply. In a vague misty way she found herself +drinking some hot soup in bed, and then she fell into a troubled sleep, +and did not wake till the morning dawned.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Forsett, her landlady, told her afterwards that she had, with the +help of the nurse, undressed her and got her to bed.</p> + +<p>"'Twas your poor hurt head, ma'am, and the shock of it all, that seemed +to have stunned you."</p> + +<p>But when Hope woke the next day, her head was painfully clear. She was +very soon in her husband's room, but he lay in a stupor from which it +was impossible to rouse him.</p> + +<p>It was now that she sent off telegrams to Mrs. Dane and to Lancelot's +housekeeper, and reproached herself with not having done so the night +before.</p> + +<p>Then, not being able to help in the sick-room, for the nurse was +getting her patient ready to see the doctors, she went out to get a few +more necessaries for the invalid.</p> + +<p>And it was in walking along the streets in the bright sunshine that +Hope went through her darkest time.</p> + +<p>"I cannot be resigned! Why should I be singled out for such +misfortunes? Oh, I might have been given a little happiness after all +I have gone through this past year! It seems so cruel, so unnecessary! +I cannot live without him! Why need it have happened? Why should I be +left to bear the desolation of life without him? What have I done to be +treated so? I have tried to be patient through all my troubles, but not +one of them really touched me like this one! The more I bear, the more +I have to bear!"</p> + +<p>She clenched her hands in the impotency of her despair. She knew she +was murmuring against God; she felt she was allowing the full tide of +rebellion and resentment against His chastening to rush in and flood +her soul; she remembered His sustaining power in times past, in the +peace that had been hers during all the stress of anxiety and trouble, +yet now nothing seemed to help her.</p> + +<p>"Shall I never have one word, one look from him? Has he drifted away +from me already? Oh! If only I had been allowed to suffer instead of +him!"</p> + +<p>She walked on; she gave her orders mechanically at the shops, and then +she retraced her steps homewards. She went straight to the sick-room.</p> + +<p>"Nurse," she said, "I am his wife. My place is by his side. I will not +be shut out of this room till—till the end comes."</p> + +<p>The nurse drew a chair up to the bedside.</p> + +<p>"Will you sit there, ma'am? I do not think you will disturb him."</p> + +<p>Hope sat there with a white still face.</p> + +<p>Doctors came and went. Lancelot's injuries had been very severe. A +broken collar-bone, concussion of the brain, broken ribs, and a bruised +body were not all the doctors feared. How Hope had escaped with so +little hurt was the marvel, for their carriage had been one of the +worst to suffer! Lancelot had evidently thrown himself upon her to +shield her, for he had been found on the top of her, and the roof of +the carriage was splintered over him.</p> + +<p>All that day and night she watched by the bedside, hoping in vain +to catch a spark of consciousness or of recognition. Early the next +morning Mrs. Dane arrived, white and worn with anxiety. Hope met her +with the same stony calm. She, for the first time since she had known +Mrs. Dane, shrank from being with her, and Mrs. Dane's quick intuition +perceived and understood it.</p> + +<p>"I will not come between you and him, my poor child, but you must +remember I am his mother."</p> + +<p>Then Hope's calm forsook her, and the bitterness of her tone appalled +her mother-in-law.</p> + +<p>"You have had him all his life, I have only had him for a few short +hours. I have been given a cup to raise to my lips, and then it has +been dashed away from me!"</p> + +<p>"Nothing is impossible with God," said Mrs. Dane gently. "Shall we pray +together that his life may be spared?"</p> + +<p>"I have not prayed since the accident. I cannot. I think my soul is +dead. I can only feel how cruel it is!"</p> + +<p>She went to the sick-room as she spoke, and did not see Mrs. Dane again +alone till they were lunching together.</p> + +<p>"Hope, dear, I think I realise how you feel; but you are not helping +yourself or poor Lancelot by keeping away from the One who alone can +help you."</p> + +<p>Hope looked at her mother-in-law with dull heavy eyes.</p> + +<p>"I think my faith has gone altogether," she said.</p> + +<p>"Then ask for it to be given back to you. Let me say your favourite +hymn. I keep repeating it to myself."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane repeated verse after verse of the hymn that had been Hope's +greatest comfort. Then in faltering tones she uttered the last verse +but one:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, death shadowing us and ours?<br> + Jesus has vanquish'd death and all its powers.'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"There is all eternity coming, Hope, darling, for you and for him. This +life will seem such a little bit, looking back."</p> + +<p>Hope was silent for a moment. Then she murmured:</p> + +<p>"If Christ would vanquish death now, and give him back to me for a few +short years, I feel I—oh, I can't say it! I believe the devil has taken +possession of me!"</p> + +<p>She quitted the room hastily. She felt such a tumult rising within +her that she could not return to the sick-room. She went to her own +room and paced it like a wild animal in a cage. Never could she have +believed that the passion of an earthly love could have shaken the +very foundation of her creed. And in the depths of her heart was the +ceaseless voice: "You are sinning wilfully. You are harbouring and +encouraging unbelief and rebellion!"</p> + +<p>She saw her Bible on her dressing-table. She had not opened it since +her marriage. And then, almost mechanically, she sat down, and, turning +over its pages, began reading the Gospels. She read, without taking it +in, and then suddenly one single sentence before her seemed to stand +out above all the other:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Is it not lawful for Me to do what I will with Mine own?"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>It came as the direct voice of God, and pierced the crust of bitter +rebellion and unbelief.</p> + +<p>She sank down on her knees and burst into a passion of tears.</p> + +<p>The voice of tender, loving, pitying rebuke again repeated in her soul:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Is it not lawful for Me to do what I will with Mine own?"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>She felt much as she imagined Peter must have done when his Master +turned and looked at him.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "Yes, Lord," she said brokenly. "It is Thy right; he is Thine own to +kill, to make alive; he is Thine, and I am Thine, and Thou hast the +right to do what Thou wilt. Oh, do it! Do it! I am Thine. I would not +take myself away from Thee. I thank Thee for this word. Who am I that +I dare to question Thy right over us both? Oh, forgive me, forgive me! +Cast the devil out. Lancelot is Thine own. I am Thine own. Thou hast +Thy plans for us both. I will not pray for his life. I will not ask +Thee to alter Thy plans. Take me back to Thyself. Do Thou help and +comfort us. Thou hast him in Thine eternal arms. I leave him there."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>An hour passed before she came out of her room, and then she met Mrs. +Dane in the narrow passage. Such light and peace were upon her face +that her mother-in-law almost started. The change was marvellous.</p> + +<p>"Yes," she said. "It is wonderful—God's mercy and love—but I am +forgiven, and I am resigned."</p> + +<p>She passed in to sit with her husband, and though her face was white +and worn with the conflict that had been raging within her, in her eyes +was the "peace that passes understanding."</p> + +<p>Very quiet she was, and very silent even to Mrs. Dane.</p> + +<p>"I feel," she said to her once, "that I am waiting for death."</p> + +<p>The days slowly went by, but there was no change in Lancelot's +condition.</p> + +<p>"He may slip away from us any moment," said the doctor. "I do not think +he will recover consciousness."</p> + +<p>Hope sat and waited. She could repeat to herself now the lines of her +hymn:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace, death shadowing us and ours?<br> + Jesus has vanquish'd death and all its powers.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>And sitting in the Shadow of the Borderland, she seemed to get strange +and glorious glimpses of the life beyond.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane looked after her physical wants, and took it in turn to watch +with her. If Hope had been by herself, she would have been oblivious of +food and rest. When once she said something a little impatiently about +her own health being a matter of indifference to her, Mrs. Dane said:</p> + +<p>"Dear Hope, however much you may want to follow him, you must not try +to do so. For his sake, his property, his household will need your +attention and care. You will be his representative, and you must look +upon his possessions as a trust from him."</p> + +<p>Which view of the case gave Hope much food for thought. She herself +marvelled at Mrs. Dane's calmness and fortitude. The elder woman had +learnt life's lesson in a way that the younger one had not, and Mrs. +Dane was a selfless woman. She loved her eldest son passionately; his +very nature appealed to her in a way that neither of his brothers' +did. But she had gladly and willingly given him up to the girl whom he +loved, quietly taking the second place in his thoughts and affections, +and now she was as ready to give him up to the Master who loved him, +and was calling him.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>At last, one morning, Hope spoke straightforwardly to the doctor.</p> + +<p>"Why does my husband linger so long, if he cannot get better? He takes +nourishment. Have you no hope that he may yet pull through?"</p> + +<p>"I am just beginning to hope," was the answer.</p> + +<p>Then, as a flood of colour swept up into Hope's white cheeks, the +doctor put out his hand as if to stop any premature rejoicing.</p> + +<p>"I think we must have another opinion," he said. "I can be quite frank +with you, Mrs. Dane. Life will not necessarily mean health. I fear +paralysis of the brain."</p> + +<p>Hope's heart sank very low again. Could she wish her husband a living +death? She could not.</p> + +<p>A physician came down from London, and after a long consultation, Hope +was called into the room to hear the result.</p> + +<p>"We think that he might possibly be roused. Will you try to do this? +If he will respond to any one, it will be to you. Can you make the +attempt?"</p> + +<p>So with a beating heart Hope went back to her husband's bedside, and +bending over the unconscious form, she called in a clear steady voice +close to his ear:</p> + +<p>"Lancelot! Lancelot, darling, I want you."</p> + +<p>There was no movement. The doctors and nurse watched anxiously. Mrs. +Dane in the background also watched and prayed.</p> + +<p>"Put your heart into it," whispered the doctor. "Remind yourself that +this is his last chance. Make him hear you!"</p> + +<p>Hope did not need this stimulant. Her whole soul rose into her agonised +cry.</p> + +<p>"Lancelot, it is Hope who wants you. Come to me—help me—help!"</p> + +<p>There was a slight quiver of the still eyelashes, a slight motion of +his head. The word "help" seemed to have reached him at last.</p> + +<p>She put her mouth close to his ear, and the intense yearning in her cry +brought a moisture into the old physician's eyes.</p> + +<p>"Lancelot, my husband, come to your wife! Help me, I want you. Help!"</p> + +<p>His eyelids flickered, and then in the smallest weakest voice possible +these words were clearly heard.</p> + +<p>"I am—trying—to—come."</p> + +<p>"Then look up! I am here, darling. Hope is here; look at me—look!"</p> + +<p>The soul that seemed so far away, in that mysterious border region +between life and death, had returned to the world. Lancelot opened his +eyes, and as they fell on Hope's sweet eager face so close to his, +there was recognition in his glance.</p> + +<p>"Hope—my darling—kiss me."</p> + +<p>Hope put her lips to his.</p> + +<p>The tense moment had passed. The doctors seemed to draw breath.</p> + +<p>"Give him stimulant, nurse, at once."</p> + +<p>The physician spoke, and in a few moments the sick man murmured:</p> + +<p>"I am afraid I am ill, Hope; can you tell me?"</p> + +<p>"I will tell you everything soon, dear. You have been very ill, and now +you're getting better."</p> + +<p>Hope's eyes were full of happy tears. The doctors left the room.</p> + +<p>"Let him sleep now. His brain is uninjured. He will pull round."</p> + +<p>And then, leaving her husband in a quiet peaceful sleep, Hope flung +herself into Mrs. Dane's motherly arms.</p> + +<p>"Oh, mother—let me call you so! How good you have been to me, and oh, +how good of God! After all my unbelief and rebellion! Can we—will you +thank Him for me?"</p> + +<p>Together they knelt in prayer, and Hope's face, when she rose from her +knees, was a study in rapt contentment and delight, but her bright +brown hair was streaked with grey.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_26">Chapter XXVI</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A YORKSHIRE HOME</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>IT was an exquisite summer afternoon. Brunsworthy Hall lay bathed +in the still golden sunshine. It was a substantial old brown stone +building, with creeper-clad walls. In front of the principal entrance +was a sloping green lawn, a group of beech-trees at the farther +end cast some welcome shade upon it; old-fashioned flowering beds +bordered the lawn on one side, the other was flanked by a rhododendron +shrubbery. In the distance, between a broken line of pines and larches, +stretched a wide heather and bracken-covered moor. Further still, blue +hills bordered the horizon, and this was the scene that Hope, shading +her eyes with her hand, looked out upon, as she stood at the open door. +Behind her was a cool, fragrant, oak-wainscoted hall. Roses in bowls +seemed to predominate over everything else.</p> + +<p>Hope, in her white dress, looked singularly sweet and girlish. But +she had gained in grace and dignity during these last few months as +mistress of Brunsworthy Hall. For three months she had divided her +time between managing her husband's property, and nursing him back to +convalescence.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane had helped much in the latter occupation, but Hope had come +alone to Brunsworthy to interview agents, look into farm accounts, +and order the household generally. She had been much helped by +her husband's lawyer, who lived close by, and Mrs. Stern, the old +housekeeper, who had lived at The Hall for the previous twenty years. +Now she was expecting the arrival of her husband. She had been into +his room many times that day. She had filled it with flowers, she had +arranged cushions and couches with a view to rest his tired limbs, she +had chosen books and papers that would entertain and amuse him, and now +she stood waiting for the carriage that was to bring him to her.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image016" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image016"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image016.jpg" alt="image016"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>HOPE RAN DOWN TO MEET THEM.</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>When it eventually appeared, and her husband with his mother came up +the broad steps, she ran down to meet them.</p> + +<p>Lancelot's eyes were twinkling with some of his old humour, though his +smile was a little sad, as he said:</p> + +<p>"The irony of fate, that the wife should be receiving the husband, and +welcoming him to his home."</p> + +<p>"Ah," she said, linking her arm in his, and so entering the house with +him, "but think what it might have been!"</p> + +<p>The servants were gathered in the hall to welcome their master, and he +said a few words to them before he mounted the old oak stairs.</p> + +<p>When he saw his wife's arrangements for his comfort, he turned to her +again.</p> + +<p>"I was wondering whether I was not the woman, and you the man a few +moments ago; now I see that no man could have produced a room like +this!"</p> + +<p>"Do you like it?"</p> + +<p>Hope's eyes were anxious. Her husband simply took her in his arms and +kissed her.</p> + +<p>"My darling little wife, you have a fairy's touch. Everything you have +done is absolutely perfect."</p> + +<p>Hope put her arms round her husband's neck, and laid her head on his +breast. Her eyes were fast filling with tears.</p> + +<p>"Oh, how I have longed for you! I can hardly believe you are here at +last! You must get well and strong. Are you very tired?"</p> + +<p>"I feel a Hercules."</p> + +<p>He did not look it, but his figure had something of its old alertness +and uprightness, his voice the old keen ring in it; and though his face +was worn and hollow-cheeked, there was vigour and energy in every line +of it.</p> + +<p>His hand caressed Hope's hair.</p> + +<p>"This is a happy day for both of us," he said softly.</p> + +<p>"They married, and lived happily ever after," said Hope, laughter +taking the place of tears. "We have had a break between those two +statements, but it will make the happiness all the sweeter now."</p> + +<p>Then she thought of her mother-in-law, and leaving her husband, went to +see if she was comfortable.</p> + +<p>Later that day, after dinner was over, and the garden lay in the +evening shadows, the three of them walked round the garden paths.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane was going back to London the next day.</p> + +<p>"This must be your honeymoon," she said. "I am not going to spoil it."</p> + +<p>And no amount of persuasion would induce her to stay.</p> + +<p>As they walked and talked, Hope began to give an account to her husband +of all the business she had tried to perform for him.</p> + +<p>"I have told the 'pro tem.' bailiff to come up to-morrow morning for +you to see him. I hope you will like him. We had three applications, +and Mr. Judd helped me in the choice. And, Lancelot, I have been round +with Mr. Judd to every farm on the estate. I know where repairs are +needed, and who are the best farmers. I feel so full of information +about your property that I shall be rather glad to air my knowledge.</p> + +<p>"The only thing that I do not quite understand is Yorkshire manners. +I have always heard that the lower classes are very independent, and +in all my rounds I only got one nice welcome, and that was from an old +woman who had been cook here many years ago. Now I come to think of it, +she was a Somersetshire woman. She showed me her dairy, which was a +picture of neatness and cleanliness; she said it was an honour to show +it to me, and that I had the look of a lady who could 'put her hand to +things without a thought of soiling her fingers.' I nearly told her +what I could do in the way of house-work, only little Mr. Judd looked +so important and dignified by my side that I was afraid of shocking +him. Then she mentioned your mother, and when I found out that she had +known you here many years ago, I could have talked all day."</p> + +<p>"That must be Ann Sockett," said Mrs. Dane thoughtfully. "She married +one of the farmers here, I remember."</p> + +<p>"She is Mrs. Talbot now."</p> + +<p>"I wonder how soon I shall be able to look into things myself," +said Lancelot. "I suppose I must let this man—what is his name, +Hope?—Mathews?—I suppose he must have a chance first."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hope decidedly. "The doctor said you must have a very easy +life for the next two months, and then you would be quite yourself +again. Mr. Mathews will take all the business part from you. You and +I are going to enjoy ourselves in a selfish fashion for two whole +months. Then you can be engrossed in your farms and fields and coverts. +I shall be engrossed in my housekeeping, and garden, and perhaps my +poultry-yard. But for the present we are going to be engrossed with +each other."</p> + +<p>"I am sure," he said, "you deserve a rest and holiday if any one does, +and I shall see that you get it."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane had wandered away from them. This old house and garden were +full of memories to her—some happy ones, some sad. She had spent all +her young married life in it, had buried the one she loved best in the +little churchyard a few miles away, and there was not a corner or spot +that she did not know and love.</p> + +<p>Hope took her husband indoors soon, fearing he would be fatigued, and +then, wrapping a shawl round her, she went out again to look for her +mother-in-law.</p> + +<p>She found her on the stone terrace on the west side of the house. It +was a spot which overlooked most of the country round. First there +was the old walled kitchen garden below, then beyond it the small +village, a stretch of grass meadows, then almost on the horizon a +little turreted church standing on the edge of the heather moor. It was +towards this that Mrs. Dane was looking. She was resting her arms on +the stone balustrade, and it was not till Hope gently touched her that +she was aware of her presence.</p> + +<p>Were there tears in her eyes as she looked round? Hope almost thought +so.</p> + +<p>"Am I disturbing you?" she asked, with a little hesitation.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane put her arm round her, and drew her to herself.</p> + +<p>"Dear child, you must not think of me. Is Lancelot very tired?"</p> + +<p>"He says not. Oh, mother, I wish you were not leaving us. Since I have +been here by myself and heard the people talk about you, I feel that +you ought to be here and not I. Was it not a great trial leaving it +when you did?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, it was. But I had my boys to think of. I wanted to give them a +good education, and I wanted to keep in touch with them. Also I was +hard pressed for money at the time of my dear husband's death, so I was +advised to let the place."</p> + +<p>"But you always hoped to come back one day?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane did not answer.</p> + +<p>Hope clasped her hands caressingly round her arm.</p> + +<p>"My happiness makes your disappointment, mother. Oh, why did you let me +meet Lancelot? And why won't you live with us altogether, and let me +take the place of a daughter?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane smiled.</p> + +<p>"Don't you think it is a happiness for me to feel that I have a +daughter-in-law who will always give me a warm welcome here? I have +been picturing your life here in the future, dear. And I hope that, +as years go on, you will find that the same God who brought you +together, will bless you increasingly. Married life brings cares and +responsibilities, but it also brings much happiness. And I can safely +say that I believe Lancelot will never disappoint you. I know what he +has been as a son. I know what he will be as a husband."</p> + +<p>Hope did not answer. She looked dreamily away to the little church in +the distance. At last she said slowly:</p> + +<p>"And perhaps one day I shall stand where you do, and feel that all my +hopes are in that churchyard. Then I wonder if I shall be able to live +my life as nobly and sweetly as you do. I wonder if I shall ever have +as big a heart of sympathy and love, as firm and unclouded a faith—"</p> + +<p>"Hush, hush!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane was shaking her head most disapprovingly.</p> + +<p>"I hope you will be a far better woman than I ever shall be. Now, don't +you think it is time we were returning to the house?"</p> + +<p>"Ah, well," said Hope, as she took her mother-in-law's hint, and walked +back with her into the drawing-room. "I shall never be able to say that +I was without an example of what a wife and mother should be!"</p> + +<p>Nothing would induce Mrs. Dane to prolong her stay. She was determined +that the young couple should be left alone, and she departed the next +day, promising to pay them a visit in the autumn before the winter set +in.</p> + +<p>Hope always looked back to those summer months as a time of exquisite +rest and delight.</p> + +<p>She had much to do. It was not an idle life. There were a great +many necessary alterations and repairs in the house itself, for the +furniture was old and shabby, and wanted considerable renewing; and +there was a good bit of outdoor and estate business with which Hope +helped her husband. But the very contact with a keen vigorous intellect +like Lancelot's, the sense of his love and care in every detail of her +life, was both soothing and invigorating. And she loved the country +around her. The moor fascinated her; she would go up to it in the cool +of the evening, and baring her head, would inhale long breaths of the +fresh, sweet, heather-scented air. Wandering knee-deep in the bracken, +she would gather armfuls of the heather and ferns, and come home laden +with spoils, astonishing the servants, who could not understand the +pleasure of seeing "rubbish" preferred to the choice flowers produced +by the garden and hothouses.</p> + +<p>Lancelot smiled and understood.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" he said to her one day. "Wait till I get a little stronger, and +we can ride over the moors together!"</p> + +<p>"Perhaps it's as well we don't get all our pleasures at once," said +Hope. "We have so many things to look forward to, have we not? But I +am not a very accomplished horsewoman. I have had so little chance of +riding. My aunt never encouraged it, though I had riding-lessons at +school."</p> + +<p>"You will soon pick it up again."</p> + +<p>One day Hope received a letter from Kitty Parr, giving her the sad news +of her father's sudden death from heart failure. Kitty wrote in great +trouble.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "How I long that you were here! I have no one to help in things. Avice +seems quite stunned, and she is no good at business, as you know! We +have just been talking to father's lawyer. We shall have to sell most +of our things and get out of this old Rectory as fast as we can. I +don't mind much for myself, but I'm awfully sorry for Avice. She has +no 'Brian'! I'm up to my eyes with bothers, getting father's accounts +right, writing letters (Avice answers all the condoling ones), and +roaring with crying at intervals. Death is so awful! And father was +such a dear. But I get quite bewildered over our future. Brian won't be +ready for me for ages yet, and I think Avice and I will have only £100 +between us yearly. Is that worse or better than you were? We mean to go +into lodgings at Kayminster. That is the nearest town, and every night +I frantically count up my accomplishments, and wonder how I am to earn +money. I mean to do something, and no one shall prevent me.<br> +<br> + "Of course a country life suits me best, but Avice will go to a town, +and I must keep with her. I think I shall turn into a shop-girl or +servant if I can do nothing else. But I would love to be a farm +labourer! I went down to Miss Rill—Mrs. Manners, I mean—and talked to +her about myself.<br> +<br> + "She said, 'My dear, don't go to London. It isn't the place for poor +people.'<br> +<br> + "Then I asked her if I opened a dairy in Kayminster whether she could +provide me with the stuff to sell. (You know they keep two cows +now.) But she didn't rise to it. I believe she doubted my business +capacity. Oh, Hope, dear, I want you badly! Do you think I could get +something to do if I went to Canada? Then Avice could have the £100 +all to herself and be quite comfortable. I never thought we should be +quite so badly off. I do think clergy might have pensions for their +widows. Father worked hard for fifty years and at the end of it left us +almost penniless. I tell Avice that the organisation of the Church of +England leaves a lot to be desired. She of course disagrees. If only +some nice rector would come forward and marry her. She'll never be any +good in the world except as a clergyman's wife, and I rather pity her +household! You see my pen is running away as fast as my tongue does! +But I'm writing to take the ache and misery away. I am absolutely +miserable, Hope—do comfort me.<br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 19em;">"Your loving</span><br> +<br> +<span style="margin-left: 23em;">"Kitty."</span><br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>Hope took counsel with her husband over this letter.</p> + +<p>"Why not ask her up here a little later? Would you not like to have +her?"</p> + +<p>"Very much. But what about Avice? I honestly don't like her, Lancelot, +though she is so good. She is so lofty and superior in her manner, that +she rubs me the wrong way!"</p> + +<p>"This trouble may soften her."</p> + +<p>"I am sorry—very sorry—for both of them. And I think Kitty will adapt +herself better to her new surroundings than Avice. I think Avice has +always run in a very narrow groove. I expect she will feel quite lost +without a parish."</p> + +<p>"I should let them settle down somewhere together before I asked Kitty +up here."</p> + +<p>"I dare say you are right. Poor little Kitty! I will write to her at +once. She was her father's right hand."</p> + +<p>So Hope wrote a very loving sympathetic letter to Kitty, and by the +same post wrote out to Brian, asking him if there was any chance of +his being able to marry at the end of the year, or whether there was +any opening for Kitty out there as a mother's help or companion to any +young married woman.</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<br> + "She is so happy in the country," wrote Hope, "and has so many +faculties for a farm life, that it seems waste of good material for her +to drift into a town, and do nothing."<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>And after she had written her letter, she went into her husband's study +to talk to him.</p> + +<p>"I feel that Kitty is a repetition of myself, and the position is such +a dreadful one. If you had not married me, Lancelot, what would have +become of me? The want of money is a great trial to a girl who has not +been brought up to earn her own living!"</p> + +<p>Lancelot would not allow this.</p> + +<p>"There are plenty of men in the world to look after them. Personally, I +hate a moneyed woman. She is so supremely selfish."</p> + +<p>Hope laughed merrily.</p> + +<p>"And what about men?"</p> + +<p>"I dare say they are not much better. Superabundance of wealth seldom +improves a fellow-creature."</p> + +<p>"But it is no good for you to say in a grand masculine tone that there +are plenty of men to look after helpless penniless girls. That is just +what there is not. Every one knows that women outnumber the men, and +they are quick at recognising this themselves, and are fast learning to +be independent. I think you old-fashioned men who make such an outcry +against the modern women don't realise that they are the natural result +of the modern life. And you must admit that the modern young man does +not rush into marriage as his ancestors did. They weigh the pros and +cons much more carefully."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I think the modern youngster quite as odious as the hoyden girl. +I hope that little Kitty is not rushing into wedded life too soon."</p> + +<p>"You don't like Brian. You never did."</p> + +<p>"I can't say he was an attractive character. He did not look after you +as he should have done."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Lancelot, what a foolish old thing you are!"</p> + +<p>And then the conversation ended, as it often did, by lover-like +demonstrations between husband and wife.</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_27">Chapter XXVII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>VISITORS</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>IT was not till the autumn came that Kitty and Avice came together to +pay Hope a visit.</p> + +<p>She met them at the station herself, and was struck by the change in +both of them. Kitty had lost her childish look; she was slighter in +figure and taller, was as impetuous and eager as ever, but not so +thoughtless in her speech, and seemed to have learnt self-control. +Avice, from being a fresh complacent-looking girl, had become a +nervous fretful invalid, full of her own aches and pains and sensitive +feelings. Hope was quite shocked to see her.</p> + +<p>She talked cheerfully to them both, took them to their comfortable +bedrooms, and then as usual poured out her disappointment into her +husband's ears.</p> + +<p>"I must tell you a private little idea of my own," she said to him. +"You know how difficult I find it to visit as much as I should like +amongst our villagers here. I thought that perhaps when Kitty goes +out to Canada, Avice could come here and be a kind of district nurse +and visitor. If she liked to be independent, she could lodge in the +village. It is what she loved doing—visiting the poor, and having +classes and meetings for them. Our Rector would be only too delighted. +But now I have seen Avice, my castle has tumbled to the ground. She +seems quite crushed by her father's death, as if she has no spirit +left, and such a discontented whining voice! I am quite astonished at +the change in her."</p> + +<p>"Don't be hard on the girl. It's just the sudden cessation, I expect, +of all interest in others that has brought about a reaction."</p> + +<p>"Yes, perhaps you are right. She has lost more by her father's death +than Kitty has."</p> + +<p>At dinner that night Kitty chattered away in her old style; but though +Lancelot did his very best to entertain and interest Avice, he could +hardly win a word from her. He had to attend a village meeting that +evening, so Hope was left with the two girls. Conversation became very +heavy in the drawing-room. Avice seemed to be a dead weight upon the +atmosphere. At last she said she would like to go to bed, and it was +with a sense of relief that Hope accompanied her upstairs. When she was +in her bedroom with her, she stooped down and kissed her.</p> + +<p>"Good-night, Avice," she said tenderly. "I can't tell you how I feel +for you. I have gone through the same trouble myself so recently, that +I know a little of the blank that there must be in your life."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," was the uncivil reply. "Everybody tells me the same, but I +don't know that it alters my feelings much to be told that my loss is +one common to all."</p> + +<p>For one moment Hope felt quite vexed, then she replied:</p> + +<p>"No, it does not alter the fact of your grief, of course. You must tell +me, when you are more at home with me, what your plans are for the +future. I hope you will sleep well. Good-night."</p> + +<p>She would have been astonished could she have seen Avice, when the door +was closed, fling herself upon her bed in a tempest of sobs.</p> + +<p>"I wish I had never come. I never cared for her. She was always so +uninteresting, and now she seems to glory in her position here, and +gloats over my misfortunes. I know she never liked me. I hate her pity +and patronage. Oh, I wish I were dead! I have nothing to live for. +Everything has been taken from me. No one understands me, and no one +cares what becomes of me!"</p> + +<p>Poor Avice was going through a very bitter experience. From being the +centre of a circle of admiring and devoted people, she was suddenly +displaced from her pedestal, and became a mere unit, and a very +insignificant one, in Kayminster.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image017" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image017"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image017.jpg" alt="image017"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE</b><br> +<b>FOR THE FUTURE."</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>She had never cared for making friends with her equals. She had always +posed as a saintly benefactor to her inferiors, and their homage was +her chief delight in life. Now that was swept away from her, she felt +like a rudderless boat; she had no goal in life, no purpose, no hope. +Her work had come first and not her God. Hope would have pitied her +much more if she had known the real misery of soul that was hers.</p> + +<p>When she reached the drawing-room again, she found that Kitty had drawn +up two low chairs to the wood-fire, and was anxiously waiting for her +appearance.</p> + +<p>"Why, Kitty, aren't you thinking of going to bed, too?"</p> + +<p>"Indeed I'm not! I'm simply thirsting to have you to myself! Now come +and sit here, and let me pour out, or I shall explode! I'm so thankful +your thoughtful husband has taken himself of to-night. It is too good +an opportunity to lose. Oh, Hope, what a darling you are! First let me +give you a hug, if I dare. You're so regal in your satin gown. I've +never seen you in evening-dress before. You look so queenly! Doesn't +Mr. Dane sometimes long to give you a good squeeze when you look so +lovely? I do!"</p> + +<p>Hope laughed merrily as she submitted herself to one of Kitty's "hugs."</p> + +<p>Then the girl seated herself beside her, and began her confidence in +eager excitement.</p> + +<p>"I've heard from Brian that he is building a house in his spare time. +He has a grant of land of his own, and he is going to work at this +house all the winter. Then in the spring—next spring—I'm to go out to +him, and I've been sending him plans for all the rooms. We shall have +to work awfully hard, he says, but I shall love it. I wriggle with +delight when I think of it! Now that's my tit-bit of news, the bit +that keeps my spirits up. And I'm collecting—oh, you'll laugh, but +I know what it takes to stock a kitchen—I'm collecting with any odd +pence that I can save, such a medley of articles, which I keep in what +I call my kist. A tin toasting-fork, a cake-tin, a pepper-box, a tin +spoon, an egg-whisk—all a penny each. Then I have bits of flannel and +odd dusters—you've no idea what a lot you can get with a few coppers. +Avice looks on and laughs at me—metaphorically, I mean—I wish she did +in truth, for she's so depressingly dismal that I don't know what to do +with her.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Hope, you have no idea what our life is like in lodgings! Avice +hardly ever speaks to me. She sits and mopes. I made her come to +the cathedral services once or twice, but she says it makes her too +miserable to go there. I wonder if it would have been better to have +stayed on in our village in lodgings; but the fact was, that we heard +almost directly who was going to have the living. The Vicar of Nutton, +about ten miles off, was offered it, and his wife is one of the most +energetic and managing of women! Avice never liked her, when she used +to meet her at the clerical meeting, because she always tried to give +her good advice, and we both felt we had better be gone before she +arrived. And if you don't breathe a word, I believe a certain curate +has made Avice very unhappy. He was always consulting with her and kind +of carrying on—you know the style, paying her great attention, &c.—and +now since father's death, he hasn't come near us, or sent her one line. +I believe she was really fond of him, but he can't afford to marry. +Anyhow, he's behaved like a brute, and I hate him!"</p> + +<p>Kitty paused for breath.</p> + +<p>"I wish," said Hope wistfully, "that I could get at your sister's +heart. I feel so dreadfully sorry for her."</p> + +<p>"She hasn't a little idea about money," went on Kitty. "She thinks we +ought to be just as comfortable in lodgings as we were at home, and is +quite cross with me because I won't let her buy chickens for dinner at +three shillings each! I asked her if she would like to be a kind of +deaconess, or join a sisterhood. I thought that would just suit her, +but do you know, she hates women of her own class, and said she would +be miserable with a lot of old maids! She made me laugh, I couldn't +help it; and then, of course, she gets cross. She thinks I'm as hard +as stone, because I get up a laugh now and then; but I'm sure it would +be a black world if everybody who lost a relative never laughed again! +Besides, I tell her that laughing keeps you in health, some doctor told +me that once; and if you're poor, the great thing is to keep well, for +doctors and drugs are so expensive!"</p> + +<p>So Kitty talked away, sometimes showing real earnestness of feeling, +sometimes as nonsensical as a child. When she went to bed at last, she +gave Hope another squeeze.</p> + +<p>"There's no one like you in all the world, I know there isn't! And if I +had only been a man, I would have walked in and snapped you up in front +of Mr. Dane's nose. Is he really as good as he ought to be to you? I +shall watch him very closely, and if he isn't, I shall let him know it!"</p> + +<p>Before many days were over, Kitty was like one of the house. She knew +every human being and every animal for a couple of miles round, and +was on friendly terms with them all. Her fresh young voice, and cheery +whistle and laugh, was heard the first thing in the morning and the +last at night. She was delighted when Lancelot gave her a quiet cob to +ride, and in spite of very little previous experience, tenaciously kept +her seat in various experiments, which filled Hope with fears for her +safety.</p> + +<p>When she remonstrated with her for attempting to leap a gate, Kitty +retorted:</p> + +<p>"My dear Hope, a colonist's wife must know how to jump anything! I'm +training myself for the future, and I want to swim a river with him, +if your husband will let me. You see, I want to be an all round sort +of wife to Brian. I know you won't be shocked, but I'm going to take a +lesson to-morrow in felling trees. Your woodman is going to show me. +They're cutting down trees in your big wood. Dan Murphy is an Irishman, +and his wife's name is Kitty, so he's the greatest friends with me. He +says Yorkshire breeds the stoniest lot of men and women in the world, +but they're real good sort if they take a fancy to you! His wife is +a Yorkshire girl, so of course he knows. He has got a small axe that +he says will just suit me, but I mean to have a try with a big one. +I've plenty of muscle—always had! I want to be able to take a hand +in anything with Brian. We're not going to be a pair in tandem, but +abreast in everything!"</p> + +<p>Whilst Kitty was thoroughly enjoying herself, Hope tried hard to win +Avice's confidence. She drove her out. She sat under the trees upon the +lawn, and read and worked with her. She took her to visit some of the +cottagers in the village, and did all she could to awaken her interest +in things around her. But it was all in vain. Avice responded civilly +but listlessly to all that was said, and relapsed into gloomy thought +when left alone. She announced one morning that their visit must come +to an end; and though Hope would have liked to keep them longer for +Kitty's sake, she did not like to press them to stay, when she saw that +Avice was not happy with her.</p> + +<p>Lancelot suggested that Avice should go, but that Kitty should stay on. +He genuinely liked the latter, and told his wife that they had better +offer her a home till she was married. But Kitty herself would not hear +of this.</p> + +<p>"I am bound to stay with Avice. She can't get on alone. I don't know +how it is, but she seems to have lost her backbone."</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>The last evening of their stay, Hope went to Avice's room after she +had retired for the night. She sat down and talked about Kitty and the +future, and was glad to find that Avice was more responsive than usual. +She was just on the point of leaving her, when the girl turned abruptly +to her.</p> + +<p>"You have been very kind to us," she said, with a little choke in her +voice. "I should like to thank you. I feel this is a judgment upon me +for never trying to do anything for you, when you lived near us. I have +been brought myself to poverty and—and I know how bitter it is, perhaps +even more than you did! You must have always realised that it would be +only for a time until you married, and of course that is what comforts +Kitty. For me—"</p> + +<p>She stopped, then astounded Hope by bursting into tears.</p> + +<p>In a moment, warm-hearted Hope had thrown her arms round her, and was +almost crying in sympathy.</p> + +<p>"Oh," sobbed Avice, "everything has gone from me. Home, father, and +work; every one I know and care for, all swept away! What is the good +of living! I wish I were dead!"</p> + +<p>Hope did not reprove her for this outburst; she was delighted that the +icy reserve had melted at last.</p> + +<p>"You feel exactly as I did when I thought my husband was dead. Oh, +Avice, I was so wretched and so wickedly rebellious; I do know, indeed, +how you feel. But I don't believe God will leave you like this. He will +send you comfort. It is just a very dark rough bit of road, and it is +going to lead you out into brighter sunshine than you had before! God +is testing you as He tested me. I failed miserably, but you must not. +Look up, and take courage, and believe that God is leading you on to +better things. I know He is."</p> + +<p>Hope's voice rang with such confident assurance that Avice's sobs +ceased.</p> + +<p>"Ah," she said, hiding her face in her hands, "I don't love or believe +in God, as I should. That is the trouble. I have been a hypocrite all +my life, and have only just found it out. I always taught others beyond +my own experience, and preached lessons of resignation and submission +to them when I had never learnt them myself. I feel God has cast me off +in disgust, and will have nothing more to do with me."</p> + +<p>Kitty impatiently waited for Hope to come and wish her good-night. But +she waited a good hour before Hope appeared.</p> + +<p>When she stooped over her in bed, her eyes were full of tears.</p> + +<p>"Why, Hope, what's the matter? You're looking so happy, and yet you're +crying! What has happened? Tell me!"</p> + +<p>"I can't tell you all, Kitty. It would not be right. I have been having +a long talk with Avice. Poor girl, she has opened her heart to me at +last. And, Kitty, I'm not going to let you go to-morrow. We'll wire +to your landlady. I've been making plans in my head. If you live in +lodgings, why should you not both live near me? I know a delightful +farm close by, where the good woman would make you both thoroughly +comfortable, and do you much cheaper than any landlady in Kayminster. +Then Avice could help me in the village. I want to start a mothers' +meeting, and a band of hope, and coal and clothing-clubs. She could +teach me all this, and I should profit by her experience, and we should +be all working together."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Kitty, sitting up and thumping her pillow in excitement, +"how delicious it sounds! But first, Avice will never agree; and then I +must be earning my own living."</p> + +<p>"Go to sleep. I mean to carry my plan out. It's all nonsense about your +earning your own living. You and Avice can live in this way for next to +nothing."</p> + +<p>She would not discuss the matter further with Kitty then, and she never +told her what had passed between herself and Avice; but the next day +the telegram was sent, and Avice herself, with a smile upon her lips, +went to the farm which Hope had mentioned, and made arrangements for +herself and Kitty to board there.</p> + +<p>"Hope, you're a marvel!" Kitty exclaimed. "You have bewitched Avice. +She is not herself at all. I'm quite frightened at the sudden change in +her. I hope she isn't going to die!"</p> + +<p>"You see," she further explained to Lancelot, when he and she happened +to be alone in the library that afternoon, "I ought not to be so +astonished, for Hope is what I call a very contagious person; but Avice +always seemed proof against her, and now she has simply been knocked +down flat by Hope's wiles, straightened out, and built up again on +totally different lines. Fancy Avice saying to me, as she did this +morning,—</p> + +<p>"'Oh, Kitty, I've been all wrong all my life; I wonder if I can begin +over again!'</p> + +<p>"And this from the pink of perfection, the 'angel' of the village! +You know, Mr. Dane, when first I saw Hope, I knew she was born to +fascinate. There was something in her eyes when she looked at you, and +I suppose some people are just like the sun—they can't help warming you +through, whether you like it or not. Brian told me Hope's face, when +he came into his tea tired out, was better than a tonic, and if Avice +hadn't purposely kept out of her way at King's Dell, she would have +been different long ago!"</p> + +<p>"You credit Hope with a great deal," said Lancelot, with mirthful eyes. +"Go on; tell me more of her wiles."</p> + +<p>"Of course, you are as pleased as punch with my discernment," said +Kitty audaciously. "Hope is bound to do people good all along the line, +because she is so happy. Why, that old Squire Spencer, as they call +him, is waking up to take interest in his property at last! Of course, +people say it is his sister's doing, but he would never have had her to +live with him if it hadn't been for Hope. He told me so when I went to +wish him goodbye. He said,—</p> + +<p>"'That Hope St. Clair is making a great mistake by marrying that Indian +fellow. She had missed an opportunity of being a wealthy woman.'</p> + +<p>"'Ah,' I said, 'she doesn't believe in money much.'</p> + +<p>"'I know she does not,' and he spoke quite sadly. 'Well, we shall see +one day if she is right or not. Anyhow, I believe in her enough to +follow some of her advice, else I would never have got rid of those +Hadleys and invited my sister down.'"</p> + +<p>Kitty paused, for Hope had entered the room.</p> + +<p>"We're talking about you. I'm just telling Mr. Dane how you take people +in hand. The Manners consider all their happiness due to you!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Kitty, don't be so foolish," Hope shut her up promptly.</p> + +<p>But Kitty said in a loud aside to Lancelot:</p> + +<p>"You wait till she leaves us together again, and I'll tell you a few +things about her. Things that Brian had told me, and he ought to know +the truth about her if any one does."</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<h2><a id="Chapter_28">Chapter XXVIII</a></h2> + +<p class="t3"> +<b>A CONFESSION</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>AVICE and Kitty were soon comfortably settled in the farm, and Avice +was fast regaining her health and spirits. But, as Kitty said, there +was a change in her. She was gentler, more diffident of herself, and +wholly devoted to Hope. She threw herself into the village interests +with all her heart, and soon proved a welcome visitor to those she +went to see. Avice was at her very best with the poor. Her gentle +consideration, great tact, and ready sympathy, made her a general +favourite. She confided to Hope that she could never have believed that +she could feel so happy again as she did now.</p> + +<p>"It is not that I don't miss dear father. I am always conscious of the +blank, but there are so many others even in this country village who +have worse troubles than I have, and I do enjoy my work amongst them. +Only, Hope, will you pray for me? I don't want to put my work first +before God. I hope I have learnt my lesson. But I feel it will always +be a snare to me."</p> + +<p>Autumn went, and the cold North-country winter set in. Mrs. Dane came +to spend Christmas, and in the New Year, Hope went back with her for a +short stay in London. Mrs. Dane had taken a flat there for the winter, +and her youngest son was living with her.</p> + +<p>In town, Hope saw many of her old friends again. She smiled as she +realised how many of them were anxious to renew their acquaintance with +her. Minnie Chesney—now Mrs. Aubyn—begged her to come and stay with her +in her town house in Park Lane.</p> + +<p>"I always liked you, Hope, and I am very much alone. My husband owns +a racing-stable, and you know how that engrosses a man! Of course I +have plenty of visitors always coming and going, but they're not the +same as old friends. You can't think how delighted I was to hear of +your marriage! That was an awful poky little hole in which you buried +yourself away after your aunt's death. I was thankful when you were +out of it. How is that queer step-brother of yours—the one who tried +to farm? Oh, he is abroad again? What a relief for you! I always think +those kind of young men are so much better in the colonies. It makes it +so uncomfortable for their friends when they come home. And now tell +me about your Yorkshire home and your good husband. I hear Brunsworthy +Hall is a delightful old place. Some one was talking of it the other +day. Is Mr. Dane all right after his accident? I hope it didn't affect +his head in any way. We were so sorry for you, when we heard of it. +You really seemed one of those unfortunate people who have one trouble +after another all their life. I think you've done so wisely in leaving +Mr. Dane at home and coming up to town alone; men are such a nuisance +hanging round with nothing to do, and making rows if any other man +dares to have a word to say to you! And those kind of men who are keen +on their country places are much better left there, I say. They never +seem to want a change, as we poor wives do!"</p> + +<p>Hope listened to her, and tried to respond in a friendly manner. She +asked after Hester.</p> + +<p>"Oh, she is abroad with mother. They have gone to the Riviera. Poor old +Hester! She would rather be back amongst her bees and flowers any day. +But she's a real good sort—is determined to do her duty, and mother +bullies her accordingly. She'll never be a social success now; she has +had her day, and it's a shame to trot her out so."</p> + +<p>Hope gave a sigh of relief when Minnie Aubyn took her departure.</p> + +<p>The one visit she did enjoy was that of Lady May, who promised she +would shortly pay her a visit in Yorkshire.</p> + +<p>"I have such a lot to tell you," she said to her. "It seems such ages +since we met, and I long for one of our old talks."</p> + +<p>"And so do I, May. I have often thought of you."</p> + +<p>"I am really happy at home; not doing anything great, you know, as I +used to wish I could, but just the little every-day things as they +come, and taking opportunities as they're given me. I have some nice +things to tell you, and several girls I met abroad are my greatest +friends now."</p> + +<p>"I shall hear all about it when you come to stay with me," responded +Hope, "and I hope that day will be soon."</p> + +<p>Jim Horrocks of course came to see Hope, and amused Mrs. Dane with his +frank speech and brotherly solicitude for her daughter-in-law.</p> + +<p>"There isn't a bit of harm in me," he assured her. "I'm not one +of those who make hash of a married woman's life. I really take a +brotherly interest in Hope, and I'm as safe as—as you are! All I +want is that your son should duly appreciate her, for he's a lucky +man and ought to know it! And I'm not going to give up a life +friendship because she's married. He'll have to include me in his +shooting-parties, and he'll soon see whether he'll keep me on his guest +list. Hope will, I know. She never could forget me! And really, you +know, Mrs. Dane, if any soul on earth could make me into a religious +man, Hope could! I believe in her religion. I knew her before she got +it, and I've known her ever since, and she has had some stiff reverses, +but she's been as sure and steady as a rock all through, and as happy +as a sand-boy! That's the kind of religion a man admires, not a go to +church at six o'clock in the morning after a carousal all night, and a +long face one part of the season and a short face the other. For steady +consistence and real grit, give me Hope, and I wish I was like her!"</p> + +<p>But much as Hope enjoyed seeing many of her friends, her heart was with +her home and husband, and she counted each day to her return. When she +eventually turned her face northwards, she resolved that the next visit +to town should be made with her husband, and not without him. And when +she reached their country station and found him awaiting her on the +platform, she sprang towards him with impulsive eagerness.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Lancelot, how glad I am to be home again!"</p> + +<p>"I have been like a lost dog without you," he rejoined; "I have worked +hard to make the time pass, and have got through a tremendous lot of +business. Now I mean to take a short holiday. We'll have a second sort +of honeymoon."</p> + +<p>"Lovely! Now tell me all the news."</p> + +<p>She was tucked up in warm rugs, driving in the high dog-cart, which she +and her husband loved.</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<figure class="figcenter" id="image018" style="max-width: 25.3125em;"><a id="Image018"> + <img class="w100" src="images/image018.jpg" alt="image018"></a></figure> +<p class="t4"> +<b>"OH, LANCELOT, HOW GLAD I AM TO BE HOME AGAIN!"</b><br> +</p> + +<p><br></p> + +<p>"News? We don't move as fast as London does in these parts, you know."</p> + +<p>"Have you had any visitors?"</p> + +<p>"Sir Thomas and Lady Melton have come home, and called the other +day. They knew my father well. You will like them, but they're quite +characters. They both hunt still, though they have turned seventy, and +they do everything together."</p> + +<p>"As we shall, when we're their age, I hope," said Hope laughing—"not +the hunting, but being together, I mean."</p> + +<p>"Kitty is in a state of excitement and longing to see you. I told +her that she must not bother you to-night, but that she might come +up the first thing to-morrow morning. She has heard from Brian, and +he wants her to go out next month. I believe she went off to buy her +wedding-dress to-day."</p> + +<p>"Oh, Lancelot, you shall not laugh at her. Dear little Kitty! I can +fancy how happy she is!"</p> + +<p>Hope enjoyed every bit of that drive home, and when she entered the +house, she went from room to room like a child, to see how nice +everything was looking.</p> + +<p>After dinner, she went into the library, and there, over a wood-fire, +she and Lancelot talked together as if they had been separated a year, +instead of a month.</p> + +<p>"It feels so airless in town," Hope said; "when I get home again, the +air is life-giving. Do we get the sea breezes here, Lancelot? It feels +like it to me. How far off are we from the sea?"</p> + +<p>"Too far for that," he said, smiling, "though my forefathers are +supposed to have come across here from Denmark. They landed in their +vessel at Flamborough Head, and journeyed across the wolds till they +lighted on this spot. The house is not identically the same, for it was +burnt down in the sixteenth century; I suppose we were called Danes by +the English, and our name stuck to us."</p> + +<p>"How interesting! Do tell me some more."</p> + +<p>"I will look up our pedigree. It is in this room somewhere."</p> + +<p>"I should like to know the origin of a good many surnames," said Hope +reflectively. "My own, for instance; do you think one of my forefathers +was a saint?"</p> + +<p>"I expect so. What constitutes a saint?"</p> + +<p>"Generally some special act of grace, or a lifetime of self-denial, +does it not? I am sure I have not inherited the saintliness, nor have +any of my family."</p> + +<p>"I won't agree to that. Since I have known you, self-denial has been +your characteristic."</p> + +<p>"Don't flatter me, Lancelot. I had such a terrible tumble last year. I +have never told you yet, but when I thought that you were dying, I lost +my faith and rebelled, and behaved in an altogether awful way for a +Christian! I look back to it now as a kind of nightmare. I simply raged +in my soul against God's will. I feel as if I can never atone for those +days of bitter black rebellion."</p> + +<p>"My poor little wife!"</p> + +<p>Lancelot laid his hand tenderly on hers, and added:</p> + +<p>"I was only conscious when I came to life again, as it were, of your +face bending over me. And if ever peace and serenity was stamped on a +face, it was upon yours."</p> + +<p>"Yes, it was all right then. I had seen my wickedness, and—and had +confessed it. You must remember, Lancelot, that I had had no real test +in my life before; I had had troubles and disagreeables, but nothing +touching my inmost soul. I was reading about Abraham's test to-day. +He never faltered even when the apple of his eye was the sacrifice +demanded. I was tested, and found wanting. It ought to make me walk +humbly for the rest of my days. I think I will make a full confession +to you whilst I am about it. It was only a few days before we were +married that I was reading that hymn over to myself:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'Peace, perfect peace'<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p>"And I thought then that I had been carried triumphantly through it, +from first verse to last, that I had found it quite true. Peace of +forgiven sin through the blood of Jesus. Peace in 'thronging duties +pressed,' 'with sorrows surging round,' 'with loved ones far away,' +'our future all unknown,' 'death shadowing us and ours.' Of course +I was thinking of my dear father's death then. And though I knew +the peace was none of my making, there was a kind of self-satisfied +self-righteous feeling in my heart.</p> + +<p>"Then came the real test, and I believe it was sent to me to make +me realise that I was not the perfect being I imagined myself. Why, +Lancelot, you've no idea of the desperate wicked thoughts, that +assailed me when I thought God was taking you from me! I felt almost +inclined to sell my soul to have you restored to me."</p> + +<p>Lancelot drew his wife to him.</p> + +<p>"Sweetheart, forget that time. God forgets when He forgives."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Hope, with a little shudder, "how near we are to evil, +Lancelot! I could not have believed I would have so utterly lost faith +as I did. I shall never feel sure of myself again."</p> + +<p>"I suppose we are meant to see that we must always watch and struggle +against temptation. How does the hymn end?"</p> + +<p>Hope, with her head resting on her husband's shoulder, repeated softly:</p> + +<p class="poem"> +<br> +"'It is enough: earth's struggles soon shall cease,<br> + And Jesus call us to Heaven's perfect peace.'"<br> +<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<p class="t4"> +<em>Printed in Great Britain by</em><br> +UNWIN BROTHERS, LIMITED, THE GRESHAM PRESS, WOKING AND LONDON<br> +</p> + +<p><br><br><br></p> + +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77761 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/77761-h/images/image001.jpg b/77761-h/images/image001.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c04cf8 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image001.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image002.jpg b/77761-h/images/image002.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7591cd5 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image002.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image003.jpg b/77761-h/images/image003.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..90f8687 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image003.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image004.jpg b/77761-h/images/image004.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..dd5ad68 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image004.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image005.jpg b/77761-h/images/image005.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c34729b --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image005.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image006.jpg b/77761-h/images/image006.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c19d973 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image006.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image007.jpg b/77761-h/images/image007.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1477621 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image007.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image008.jpg b/77761-h/images/image008.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c28439a --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image008.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image009.jpg b/77761-h/images/image009.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..86d03ab --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image009.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image010.jpg b/77761-h/images/image010.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..57bd43f --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image010.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image011.jpg b/77761-h/images/image011.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..707f522 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image011.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image012.jpg b/77761-h/images/image012.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..64668bc --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image012.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image013.jpg b/77761-h/images/image013.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9bc8e9 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image013.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image014.jpg b/77761-h/images/image014.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..015aa12 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image014.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image015.jpg b/77761-h/images/image015.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ad4f2a4 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image015.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image016.jpg b/77761-h/images/image016.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1777847 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image016.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image017.jpg b/77761-h/images/image017.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4dd877d --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image017.jpg diff --git a/77761-h/images/image018.jpg b/77761-h/images/image018.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f7a12e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/77761-h/images/image018.jpg diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c72794 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This book, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. 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