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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/77633-0.txt b/77633-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c7becb2 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3419 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77633 *** + + + + +SERVANTS AND SERVICE. + + + + +[Illustration: THE GIRL’S OWN BOOKSHELF] + + + + + SERVANTS AND SERVICE. + + BY + RUTH LAMB, + + _Author of ‘Only a Girl Wife,’ ‘Girls’ Work and Workshops,’ + ‘One Little Vein of Dross,’ ‘Her Own Choice,’ etc., etc._ + + London: + THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY, + 56, PATERNOSTER ROW; 65, ST. PAUL’S CHURCHYARD; + AND 164, PICCADILLY. + + + + + BUTLER & TANNER, + THE SELWOOD PRINTING WORKS, + FROME, AND LONDON. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +Some years have elapsed since these chapters on ‘Servants and Service’ +were first issued as a series in the _Girl’s Own Paper._ I have reason +to know, from many subsequent communications, that they have not been +written in vain, but have proved useful to, and been highly commended +alike by, mistresses and maids. Members of both classes have borne +testimony especially to the fairness with which a somewhat difficult +social question has been treated therein. + +Whilst rejoicing over the good results which have already followed the +serial publication of these papers, I hope and pray that their re-issue +as a volume may greatly increase their usefulness. + +I must not omit to mention that I am not the author of the appended +chapter, No. XI., on ‘The legal rights of employers and employed.’ It +contains most valuable information, but is contributed by a writer much +better informed on legal subjects than I can claim to be. + + RUTH LAMB. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + CHAP. PAGE + + I. INTRODUCTORY 9 + + II. HONOURABLE SERVICE 20 + + III. ‘HAIR-SPLITTERS’ 32 + + IV. IN THE NURSERY 44 + + V. INFLUENCE OVER CHILDREN. BEAR AND FORBEAR 55 + + VI. THOROUGHNESS. ECONOMY OF TIME. CARE + OF PROPERTY. PUNCTUALITY 68 + + VII. ON FAULT-FINDING, GIVING NOTICE TO LEAVE, + AND GIVING CHARACTERS 81 + + VIII. DRESS. VISITORS. SYMPATHY IN CHRISTIAN + WORK 96 + + IX. FOLLOWERS AND FRIENDS. HELPS TO YOUNG + SERVANTS. GIFTS FROM VISITORS 108 + + X. THE ONE SOURCE OF STRENGTH 135 + + XI. THE LEGAL RIGHTS OF EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYED 145 + + + + +SERVANTS AND SERVICE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +INTRODUCTORY. + + +A little while ago I was wandering from factory to factory, watching +girls at work amongst whirling spindles, clattering machinery, and +clinking hammers; wondering often that the young creatures were not +bewildered or permanently deafened by the ceaseless noise which +accompanied their hours of toil; wondering still more at the varied +articles produced by girl-hands, and at the way in which the comfort of +persons in every rank of life seems to depend upon, and be ministered +to, by what they do as outdoor workers. + +The comfort of the world at large, of the great human family, is very +greatly influenced by the girl-toilers in these hives of industry. But +how much more is the happiness of all the separate families which go +to make up the vast total, influenced by the lives and conduct of those +who actually serve in the home itself, who fill the _honourable_ and +_responsible_ position of domestic servants. + +You who thus serve will, perhaps, think that I use strong terms +respecting your work and the place you occupy. I mean to justify these +expressions, and to show you how truly important is that work, how high +is your position, when measured by the vast trust which employers are +compelled to repose in the girls whom they receive into their homes as +servants. + +I have been the mistress of a house for a great many years, and yet, +considering that I have usually had four female servants at once, I +have not had a large number in the whole time. The reason is that very +few have left our home except to start in houses of their own, or from +some equally satisfactory cause, and usually after a long term of +service. Also, that when circumstances have rendered it necessary for +a servant to leave us, it has been the rule for the family and herself +to part with feelings of mutual regret and goodwill. It is always a +pleasure for us to welcome under our roof those who have served us +faithfully, and to hear of their well-being. + +I have had only one thoroughly bad servant--but she was a +systematically bad woman, who would have wrought mischief in whatever +position of life she might have occupied. Ignorance of household +routine, and inexperience in the performance of certain duties, may +easily be corrected wherever a servant is able and willing to learn, +and a mistress to bestow time and pains in teaching her. + +It makes me glad as I write to think that I both have had, and +still have, servants whom I regard as dear friends; who have proved +themselves sympathetic and self-devoting in various seasons of +sickness, and when extra labour and watching were needed; who have been +true helpers and comforters to all around them. + +Some, too, have been associated with me in Christian work, and have +deemed themselves more than repaid for any additional labour which has +thus devolved upon them, by the happiness that accompanies the very act +of good-doing for Christ’s sake. + +I think of such servants as these not only with pleasure, but with the +deepest thankfulness. With all my heart I desire to thank God for such +service, and for the sense of family comfort and safety which has been +one of its happy consequences in my own home. + +I am sure every girl who occupies the position of a domestic servant +will agree with me, that it is a good thing when a mistress can kneel +down and thank Our Father in heaven, for the great family blessing He +has sent her in the shape of a faithful servant. Equally so when a +girl, coming a stranger into a new home, can thankfully feel that she +too is regarded, not as a human machine to be sent away as soon as she +breaks down, and, once out of sight, out of mind also; but as a member +of the family, to be cared for by the rest both in regard to health of +soul and body--and most of all by the mistress as ‘house-mother.’ + +I wonder whether servants and mistresses generally understand what the +word ‘family’ means. I have alluded to each servant as a member of the +family, but I know that people usually take a much narrower view of +its meaning, and think it should be confined strictly to those who are +united by the ties of kindred. + +The word is used in several senses in our language, but the one which +takes the lead is as follows:--‘Family. The collective body of persons +who live in one house and under one head or manager of a household, +_including parents, children, and servants_.’ + +So you see, dear girls who serve in other homes than those of your +parents, you are none the less members of the family into which you +enter, though your actual place and work in it differ from those of the +parents and children. But if you claim to be of the family, you must +remember that the very privilege brings also responsibility. + +It forbids the putting of self in the first rank, and binds you to +consider the well-being, convenience, and comfort of every member of +the household, at least equally with your own; to work and think for +the common good, _because you also are of the family_. + +Notice how the Bible recognises this. Read through the Ten +Commandments, and see what individuals are named in those rules given +by God Himself, for the government of the human race. Here they are, +following each other: Father and mother, son and daughter, man-servant +and maid-servant. + +Not many pictures of girl life are to be found in the pages of Holy +Writ. We catch glimpses now and then of Rebekah and Rachel and the +daughters of Jethro tending their flocks, and watering them from the +precious and jealously guarded wells. These show us something of their +occupations out of doors, of their readiness--ladies though they +were--to serve the stranger and wait on the weary traveller. But the +curtains of the tent are rarely lifted sufficiently to give us even a +peep at the girls within, whether young mistresses or waiting damsels, +when employed in household duties. + +Ruth has a whole book given to her and her family. But we only see her +for the first time in her widowhood, and when she has been ten years a +wife. Esther has a still longer book, but in her story is involved the +fate of a nation of captives. + +But there is a little picture given in another place, and I never read +it without thinking how delightful it must be to every young servant, +to look upon this word-sketch of the little captive maid who waited +upon Naaman’s wife. + +It tells so much in so few words. It shows us the girl, far away from +her home and her kindred, a stranger in a strange land--yet full of +sympathy with her mistress, realizing that she is one of the family, +and anxious to do good to its afflicted and suffering head. + +Putting away the memory of her own wrongs, she would fain direct her +master to him at whose word, she believed, the loathsome disease would +vanish and Naaman be made whole. + +This little servant maid must have remembered her own home and friends, +because she could speak of the miracle-working prophet in her own land. +A revengeful girl would have rejoiced in her master’s affliction. +A selfish one would have made terms, and only told of the healer on +condition of being restored to her own friends. + +This young servant girl did neither. She uttered a wish which was also +a prayer on behalf of him who held her captive: ‘Would God my lord were +with the prophet that is in Samaria! for he would recover him of his +leprosy.’ + +Though she was in such a humble position, she had gained a character +for truth. Her mistress durst speak after her! A king durst write a +letter, send an embassy, and despatch an offering of enormous value, in +sole reliance on the word of the little foreign servant. + +Her master, a great and powerful general, the mighty man of valour, and +conqueror in many a battle, set out on a journey with a heart full of +hope, because he could believe the wish she had uttered was sincere, +and that she was convinced of the prophet’s power and will to heal him. + +Only a story contained in three verses of the Bible, but how much +it tells! What a beautiful character it reveals! A young servant +girl, truthful and trusted; forgiving and doing good to her captors; +realizing that she was one of that family in which she served; +forgetting self in her sympathy with suffering; repaying the kindness +and confidence of her mistress, not merely by faithful service, but by +heartiest goodwill. + +Ah! you who serve in the homes of others, well may you rejoice to +think that one in a like position is the heroine of this delightful +Bible story. May you in reading it take home all its sweet lessons, +and in your own narrower circle, and perhaps a far humbler household, +imitate the example, and reproduce the disposition shown by the little +Israelitish maiden when a captive in a strange land. + + * * * * * + +Probably many a young, ay, and old woman too, looks back upon her +girlish days in service, and recalls the period she spent under one +particular roof as a turning-point in her life for good or evil. If the +former, she will lift up her heart in thanksgiving as memories of wise, +loving counsel and patient teaching come before her mind’s eye. + +Some, perhaps, are still in situations, and regularly and habitually +doing their daily work as if the eye of the mistress was always +present. Each thinks of one who, in bygone days, was the means of +making her the valuable servant she is, by dint of much careful +training and painstaking when she went, a mere girl and very +ignorant, to her first place. She knows that the seeds sown by that +hand have brought forth in herself the fruits of regularity, order, +neatness, cleanliness, and punctuality; and that truth and honesty, +if not planted, were fostered and encouraged by that true friend and +experienced mistress. + +Perhaps she remembers, too, that in those early days the patient +teacher did not always find a patient scholar; that the lessons which +were given for her good were often little valued--sometimes even +resented as the acts of a fidgety, worriting, too-particular mistress +whom nothing could satisfy. + +She knows better now, and rejoices that she fell into hands equally +firm and kind. But the memory of her own little tempers and impatience +under training makes her, let us hope, more patient and forbearing with +other young girls who are in turn placed under her, to be similarly +instructed. + +I fancy I hear a chorus of young voices cry out, ‘It is all very well +for you to say we should be particular about the places we take, but we +cannot always choose from a number. Often our very bread depends on our +getting a situation. If we are unable to get what we want, we must take +what we can get.’ + +Quite true. Yet it is not often that a girl who is worth having has to +leave a situation at less than a month’s notice, so that she has always +some time to look about her and make inquiries. + +Shall I tell you my recipe for getting a good servant? It will be just +as useful to you in securing a good place. _It is prayer_, as well as +the use of ordinary means. Whenever a servant has been about to leave +us, it has been the custom for my husband and myself to kneel together +and ask God to guide us in the choice of a successor. We felt that +the peace of our home, the well-being of our family, and perhaps even +more than all, that an important influence on the minds and manners +of our little ones would depend upon the new-comer. Was it not, then, +worth while to ask God’s guidance and blessing? If good for master and +mistress, surely it must be equally so for the girl who seeks work and +a home amongst strangers. + +Do not take a place where you cannot have Sunday privileges. A widowed +mother, herself in service, applied for a situation for her young +daughter. She returned disappointed in one sense, but not in another. + +‘Jane could have had the place, and good wages; but when I named the +going to church on Sundays, the lady said Sunday was always her day +for company, and she could spare none of her servants to go out. She +would give her another day instead. I told her this would not suit +my girl,’ said the poor mother, who had much cause for anxiety about +employment for her child. ‘I had all my life tried to train her in the +faith and fear of God, and specially taught her to value and remember +to keep holy the Sabbath day. I dare not go against my own teaching and +conscience, come what may. I must trust; the Lord will provide.’ + +And He did provide. The mother’s prayers were not in vain; her faith +was not disappointed. Pray, then, for guidance, dear girls. You will +not ask in vain; but I believe you will be answered by having good +homes and good mistresses, as my husband and I have been, in having +good servants sent to us from time to time. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +HONOURABLE SERVICE. + + +In my former chapter I called the position of a domestic servant an +_honourable_ and _responsible_ one, and I will now give my reasons for +using these two words. I wonder whether many young girls who serve +in the household have considered how very much they are trusted. +Perhaps they never crossed the threshold of the home in which they +have obtained a situation until the very day on which they enter upon +its duties; and yet from the very moment that the young stranger girl +enters the house, she is of necessity taken more into the family +confidence than any outsider can possibly be. + +She knows all about the going out and coming in of every member of +the family. In many cases she sees and hears what even the children, +especially the younger ones, are not permitted to know. + +In the performance of her various duties, when waiting at table and +elsewhere, she overhears conversations which speakers would not like +to have repeated. She cannot help, in like manner, being acquainted +with numbers of little family secrets that are never intended to pass +beyond the walls of the home--things that would not be told even to +friends, except in the strictest confidence. + +Yet the master, mistress, and children receive the stranger girl, +often knowing very little about her family and of herself, only so +much as can be gleaned during half an hour’s talk, or, it may be, a +short letter from a former employer--just a sheet of paper with a few +formally written answers to a few set questions, such as relate to the +work of that particular situation she wishes to undertake. The future +mistress has probably asked how the girl has done her work in her last +place; whether she is cleanly, honest, truthful, obliging, and so on. + +In many cases the information is given by one of whom we know little +more than we do of the girl respecting whose character we inquire. And +there are always far more important questions than those alluded to, +which are never asked, and if they were, would seldom be explicitly +answered. Yet, on the strength of that brief written recommendation, or +after half an hour’s conversation, we take a girl into our home, and +place in her hands a very large share of its comfort and safety. She is +allowed to see and to know all the little household details which are +hidden even from our nearest friends. + +We exact from our girl domestics no pledge of confidence, no promise +not to betray our trust by gossiping about what they hear or see; +what, indeed, they _must_ witness, unless we are to live in a state of +unnatural restraint, and make the entrance of our servants a signal for +silence! Such a state of things would be equally trying to them, to our +guests, and to ourselves. + +If I were a girl in a situation, I hope I should feel ‘upon honour’ +with regard to these things. I should like to be able to say, ‘I am +glad and thankful to be trusted, and, by God’s help, I will try to +merit the confidence which my master and mistress place in me. I may +not be bound by any promise to them, but I am bound far more firmly by +my sense of what is right, by the witness of my own conscience, and by +the thought of what I should like if I were in their places. No one +shall ever be able to blame me for tale-telling, or gossiping about +their concerns. I may be a young servant, but if I am a Christian girl, +the same spirit should animate me that inspires the greatest lady in +the land. I, if I understand the teaching of God’s Word aright, am +bound by the same laws in my position as my mistress is in hers.’ + +To be above the meanness which would screen itself from blame as a +tattler, because no promise of silence has been given, is as becoming +to the servant as it is to the mistress. To be true, not merely in +word, but in heart and in act, is as incumbent upon the servant who +professes to be a Christian as it is upon the heads of the household, +and why? + +Because in God’s Word you are bidden to perform your duties ‘in +singleness of your heart as unto Christ; not with eye-service as +men-pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from +the heart; with goodwill doing service as to the Lord, and not to men. +Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he +receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.’ + +Employers are also reminded that their ‘Master also is in heaven, +neither is there respect of persons with Him.’ + +The same law, you see, both for employers and employed. All have to +give an account to the same Master, before whom neither rank, riches, +nor position will avail anything. The question which concerns all of us +alike is this, ‘What sort of an account can I give of the way in which +I have done my duty in the place which, in the good providence of God, +I have been called on to fill?’ + +If it becomes the mistress to be above tattling and meanness, to +be true in word and deed, to be self-denying and considerate of the +feelings of others, to be pure in speech and in life, to be careful as +to the persons with whom she associates, surely all these things are +equally essential to the young servant! To the latter it often happens +that her good character is her fortune, that on it she depends for the +very bread she eats and the roof which shelters her. Even if she did +not, ‘A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving +favour rather than silver and gold.’ + +People say there is a skeleton in every house; it is the same thing as +saying that there is no home without some secret sorrow that the owner +would shrink from letting the world see. Well, if any of you dear girls +know where the skeleton is, say to yourselves, ‘My hand shall never +draw the curtain that hides it, or open the door of the cupboard in +which it is concealed.’ + +This is the right way in which to look at one of the responsibilities +of your position. You may make it doubly honourable by your own +conduct, and by the manner in which you show that you not only _must_ +be trusted, but that you deserve to be. + +Unfortunately we do not find that all girls act up to such a high +standard as this. We have all known some who have been faithful +enough so long as a thoroughly good understanding existed between +them and their employers. But perhaps something has gone wrong, and a +disagreement has arisen between the girl and her mistress. + +A sharp reproof has called forth an angry retort, and the +‘I’m-as-good-as-you’ sort of spirit has got into the young mind. +Either mistress or maid gives a month’s notice, and with the prospect +of parting comes an entire change in the relations of the parties +concerned. + +Sometimes the girl acts defiantly and disrespectfully. She forgets the +many marks of kindness and confidence she has received, the peace and +comfort she has enjoyed under that roof, and acts with a meanness and +littleness that are unworthy of any girl, especially one who calls +herself a Christian. In the spirit of revenge, and with a desire +to ‘serve out’ her employers, she will call to mind all the little +domestic matters which she knows they would least like to have gossiped +about, and will prove equally false to them, and to the pleadings of +her own heart and conscience. + +When the fit of temper is over, probably the girl sees the ugliness +and treachery of her conduct, and would fain stop the ball she has set +rolling. But this is not easy. It continues to roll, and increases with +every turn. She has done an amount of mischief which she can scarcely +calculate, has broken faith, destroyed the effect produced by years of +faithful service, and is branded as deceitful and ungrateful by the +mistress who may have reproved with sharpness, yet who heartily wishes +well to her young helpers in the household. + +I will not dwell upon this picture. I do not like it, and I hope that +every girl who reads this paper will think it as ugly as I do, and +resolve that it shall never be reflected in her own conduct. + +I have a few more words to say both about entering on situations and +engaging servants. Indeed, these chapters relate equally to employers +and employed; for while I commenced by addressing myself especially to +those who serve, I cannot write of them without including those who +rule, and more especially the young mistresses. These have frequently +nearly everything to learn when they assume the reins of domestic +government at the commencement of their married life. + +To the mistress I would say, ‘Try to ascertain something not only about +the girl you think of engaging, but about her parents, her home, and +general surroundings.’ + +I one day heard a gentleman speak of the manner in which he engaged a +very young girl to fill a vacancy caused by the marriage of an old and +much-valued servant. He lived at a distance from town, and had a very +delicate wife, who was unequal to the task of seeing and choosing from +amongst the many candidates for the vacant post. + +The place was known to be a good one. The home was delightful in +itself, the habits of the family were regular, wages satisfactory, the +servants enjoyed many Christian privileges, and master and mistress +took a warm interest in their welfare. There was rarely a vacancy, and +on this particular occasion there were many very experienced servants +amongst the applicants. Yet the gentleman who saw them at his office +in the city, and made all the inquiries, finally decided on engaging a +girl of eighteen to fill the place of one who had been more than half +that number of years in the situation. + +Much surprise was expressed at his decision, but he was quite able to +justify it. + +‘I was struck,’ said he, ‘with the beautiful neatness of the girl’s +dress. I was sure that she was not got up for the occasion; but all +about her was suggestive of habitual purity and tidiness, and her +clothing, though good and clean, bore traces of careful wear. It +had evidently been used for some time, but well used. I was further +struck with her modesty of manners and propriety of speech. She told +me frankly that she had no one but her mother to refer me to for +her character, as regarded the work itself. She was the eldest of a +family, and had never been in service; but the second girl would now +be able to take her place, and there were too many of them for all to +be maintained at home by the father’s earnings. She knew things would +be very different in such a house as mine; but mother had always made +her do her work well, and she was willing to learn. Would I try her +and give her wages according to what she was worth? Father and mother +were much more particular about the family she went into than about +the money. Would I see “mother” before I fixed on any one, and her own +Sunday-school teacher too? + +‘I could not help thinking, whilst the girl spoke--pleaded indeed, in +her honest, innocent way, for a trial--that she had in her the making +of a first-class servant. I agreed to see “mother,” but fixed no time +for my call, and I made it during the morning. + +‘The sight of that orderly home and its busy occupants was better than +any number of written characters. There was no running away to make +herself presentable, but the girl came forward with a smiling face, +and looking just as neat in her working dress as she had done in her +outdoor garments. + +‘I had made some inquiries about the family, and found that the parents +were God-fearing people, and extremely particular about the training +and associates of their children. So I engaged Eliza, aged eighteen, to +fill the place of the departed Anne, aged thirty; and I and mine had +cause to be thankful for the decision which brought into our house an +excellent servant, a warm-hearted, pure-minded girl. She was thorough +in her work, and what she did not know at first she was quick to learn, +because her heart was in it, and she honestly desired not only to do +enough to satisfy, but her very best. + +‘The mother made one remark which amused me a little at the time. “I am +so glad you are willing to engage Eliza,” she said. “I am quite content +for her to come to you, for I made most particular inquiries about your +place before I sent the girl to see about it.” + +‘The good woman meant it as a compliment, and I understood and +appreciated it. I like “my place” to have a good name; but some lady +friends tossed their heads, and said, “What an impertinent speech! to +intimate that she had inquired into your character!”’ + +And very proper too. Every girl that values her own character should be +anxious to serve under the roof of a master and mistress who fear God, +and who, caring for their own immortal souls, are likely to care for +the bodies and souls of all around them also. + +I had two sisters from one family, and when, after seven years’ united +service, the second left by her father’s wish to learn a business, I +wrote and asked for the only remaining daughter, a girl who had never +left home to take a situation, and whom I had never seen. I frankly +told the parents that, after my experience of their mode of training +daughters, I would rather take one who had thus been brought up in the +faith and fear of God, though comparatively ignorant, than the most +accomplished servant without such home-training. + +I received a grateful reply, accepting the offer and returning hearty +thanks for the comforts and Christian privileges enjoyed by the elder +sisters whilst under our roof. + +Number three duly arrived, and--well, perhaps if I say that she came +more than fourteen years ago, and is here yet, nothing more need be +added. To the act that we have considered Christian training as of +greater importance than mere skill in household duties, my husband and +I attribute much of the comfort and happiness we have enjoyed in regard +to those domestic arrangements that depend upon our servants’ work and +character. + +To you, dear girls, I would say, ‘Be more anxious to serve those who +themselves serve the Lord Christ,’ and will allow you the religious +privileges of which they know the value, than to obtain a situation +where a mistress is indulgent because indifferent, or for the sake of +easy work or high wages. + +In seeking employers, determine to put your Heavenly Master’s service +first of all. If you serve Him well, no fear that you will fail in +your duty to them. Remember that He said, ‘I am among you as He that +serveth;’ that He found His joy in doing the will of the Father, and +that He ‘who, being in the form of God,’ yet, for our sakes, ‘took upon +Him the form of a servant, humbled Himself, and became obedient unto +death.’ + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +‘HAIR-SPLITTERS.’ + + +I have alluded to the fact that the word ‘family’ includes the servants +of a household; but I am inclined to think that they are more slow to +realize their position as such than even their employers are. + +When inquiring about the work pertaining to a situation, they are often +so very particular to have the duties of the place defined with the +utmost exactness. ‘Shall I be expected to do this?’ or, ‘In my last +place, I was never asked to do that;’ ‘I like to know what my work is +to be, and then I’ve no doubt I shall do it to the satisfaction of all +parties,’ are expressions common enough when mistress and maid are +arranging terms. + +It is no doubt advisable so to plan the work of a house that each +servant, where there are two or more, may know what is her share, +and do it. The wheels of the domestic chariot would soon stick fast, +and confusion reign instead of order, if things were left to arrange +themselves. + +There is, however, a vast difference between taking and doing the work +allotted to us in a narrow, selfish spirit, or with the large-hearted +kindness which should distinguish the servants of Christ. In the +one case there is a continual hair-splitting going on, and when the +smallest service which was not actually bargained for is required, we +hear that hateful expression, ‘_It’s not my place._’ ‘I came here to be +housemaid--not to do cook’s work.’ Or, ‘If you had mentioned that, when +Sarah has her day out, you would expect me to look after the children, +I should have known what to do,’ is said to the mistress in an injured +tone, or, worse still, _at her_, as the damsel goes grumbling about the +house. + +These ‘hair-splitting servants,’ as I cannot help calling them, who +are always stickling for ‘rights’ and going more than half-way to meet +wrongs and grievances, know nothing of the true family feeling, and +are equally unpleasant people for mistresses and fellow-servants to +deal with. The former are wearied with perpetual complaints--the latter +are often rendered so uncomfortable by the nagging, exacting, and +self-asserting spirit of the individual who is always on the bristle +in defence of her _place_ and her _right_, that they will leave a good +home rather than endure her companionship. + +I will try to make my meaning plainer still. + +The ‘hair-splitter’ has perhaps been called into the sitting-room to +speak to her mistress. She leaves it again whilst the parlour-maid is +clearing the table. She _could_ save the latter a journey by carrying +out one or two of the heavier articles, and would cause herself no +extra trouble by so doing. But, ‘No thank you,’ our ‘hair-splitter’ +knows her place. Let the waitress mind her own business--she will not +be asked to do any part of hers. And so she marches out of the room +empty-handed, and is satisfied that in so doing she is keeping her +place. + +Perhaps some one in the house is an invalid, and requires to be waited +on in her own apartment. All who know anything of sick-nursing can tell +how many journeys up and down stairs are necessarily made, how many +weary steps must be taken by those who minister to a sufferer’s comfort. + +Usually, I believe, the servants are found willing to take a full +share of the extra work entailed by illness, and manifest their +sympathy in the most practical way, by doing it ungrudgingly and +uncomplainingly. Often they will voluntarily give up all the little +privileges so precious to those whose work lies wholly indoors, +and ‘stay in when it is their turn to go out,’ rather than cause +inconvenience--all but the ‘hair-splitter.’ She has bargained for +certain things, and she will have them. She never came to be a +sick-nurse, but to do regular work in her own place. She will go up and +down stairs with empty hands, though it would be no effort for her to +carry up the box of coal which she knows to be wanted, or to bring down +little articles which the attendant in the sick-room has put outside on +the landing, until she can leave the invalid for a few minutes to carry +them down herself. + +Our ‘hair-splitter’ disdains to lend a hand outside her own circle, +and, let who may give up the day out, she will exact hers and +every other privilege that she can claim, no matter who may suffer +inconvenience. + +‘I keep to my bargain; let other people keep to theirs. I do my work +that I engaged for; that is enough for me. I keep my place; let the +rest keep theirs,’ says the ‘hair-splitter;’ and she holds up her +head, and defies anybody to say a word to the contrary. + +Perhaps she speaks the literal truth, and she may be a thorough servant +in her own department; but she is only a hireling, and has no part or +lot in or with the family in that higher sense to which I have alluded. +And, oh! how little does such a one realize the yet deeper, holier +union and sympathy which must subsist between those who are members of +the family of God, who, like the Divine Head, Christ Jesus, find it +their joy to help the helpless, comfort the sorrowing, to strive, in +ever so humble a way, to bear one another’s burdens, and so to fulfil +the law of Christ. + +If a member of the family, she will ‘rejoice with those who do rejoice, +and weep with those who weep.’ + +There will be no ‘hair-splitting,’ no talk about rights; but the +true-hearted servant, who in all her dealings with earthly employers +acknowledges her Divine Master, will above all things strive to follow +His example. It will not be a question, ‘How little can I do?’ but, +‘How can I best contribute to the happiness of each and all under the +roof? How can I lighten the load of, or make the work easier for, my +fellow-servant?’ + +In numberless ways the willing mind and kindly heart will find that +this can be done without any additional effort or weariness to the +thoughtful helper. But even if it do cost an extra effort or a few more +steps to save still more of both to a tired fellow-servant, never mind. +They will be well bestowed. And if done for the Heavenly Master’s sake, +the reward will come in the present happiness which a consciousness of +doing right always brings with it. Those who practise self-devoting +kindness in their intercourse with others experience a joy unknown to +the ‘hair-splitter,’ who triumphs in having successfully claimed her +‘rights’ and in keeping her place. + +Now for a few words on the subject of good manners. + +I have said that a servant may be as truly a gentlewoman in manners as +the mistress she serves; but in order to merit the name, she must never +forget the respect and obedience she owes to those who employ her. The +‘I’m-as-good-as-you’ sort of spirit is always a mark of--I was going +to say--a vulgar mind. I will take higher ground. It is unworthy of +the disciple of Him who said, ‘Learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in +heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.’ + +The injunctions in God’s Word with regard to the manners and conduct +of servants towards their employers are particularly plain and +unmistakable. Fidelity, honesty, hearty service, and obedience are +enjoined again and again. Equally so good manners, though not in these +exact words. + +It is no doubt very trying for a grown-up girl or woman to be reproved +in sharp, unmeasured terms, and more especially in the presence +of others. But if (by God’s grace) she is enabled to conquer the +inclination to reply rudely and to give, instead, the soft answer which +turns away wrath, even when she feels that she has been unreasonably +dwelt with, she gains a double conquest. She vanquishes the rising of +sinful passion, preserves her own self-respect, and probably wins the +goodwill of her mistress also, besides knowing that she has remembered +the Divine rule: ‘Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; +not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. If, when ye +do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable +with God.’ + +You see, then, dear girls, that you are not to forget, even under +difficult and trying circumstances, the respect due from those who +serve to those who rule in the house. The tossing of the head, the +heavy or bouncing step, the loud or pert answer, the slamming of +doors, the throwing things violently down, and the going grumbling +about the house, saying things _at_ the mistress which you would be +afraid or ashamed to say _to_ her, are all marks of vulgarity and +little-mindedness, which every girl who has any self-respect will +avoid. And, whilst rather calculated to inspire contempt for the +childishness of those who act in this unreasoning, foolish fashion, +than to produce any effect on those whom they are intended to annoy, +they are also utterly unworthy of every girl or woman who professes to +be a servant of Christ. + +The commands, ‘Be kind, be pitiful, be courteous,’ were not meant for +mistresses only, or for the rich and those who fill high places in +this world, but for people of all ages and of every position. It is +not the possession of riches, which perhaps those who own them have +done nothing to win; or the bearing of an old name, ennobled by the +grand lives of those who bore it in bygone ages; not the high position +occupied in this world, or even all three combined, which can entitle +any human being to the name of gentleman or gentlewoman. + +Thank God! those who occupy the humblest positions can _merit_ the +names, though they may not claim them. If, in fulfilling our various +duties, we yield ourselves to the guidance and teaching of God’s Holy +Spirit, and strive by our lives to adorn the doctrine of God our +Saviour in all things, living soberly, righteously, and godly, showing +ourselves kind, forbearing, tender-hearted, forgiving, observing the +golden rule, spreading as much happiness and saving as much pain as we +can, we shall reap a glorious harvest of peace within and goodwill from +all around us. + +Believe me, dear girls, none so well deserve the names of gentleman and +gentlewoman as do those whose lives best reflect that of their great +pattern, Christ Jesus. And better by far than all the other books in +the world is the Bible itself for teaching good manners. + +Before concluding this chapter, I will briefly suggest a few of the +_advantages of domestic service_. Some girls think that the privileges +are all on the side of the outdoor workers, that the mill-hand, +machinist, the dressmaker, and the young shopwoman have an amount of +freedom from personal restraint which those in service cannot enjoy. +Let us look more closely into this, as also into the matter of wages. + +Really the outdoor worker has in many cases less time at her disposal +than the domestic servant, and her average gains are less also. A +servant with good health and character need never be unemployed, as +the demand for such is generally in excess of the supply. She has no +slack times, like nearly all other workers, employment and wages being +regular the year round in her case. + +Her situation is not affected by a sudden change of fashion, which +will often throw nearly all the workers in a particular branch out of +situations, and compel them to learn some new business by which they +may earn their bread. + +The domestic servant has in many cases the advantage of living in a +far more comfortable home, and of being better fed and cared for. She +has less anxiety about ways and means than the outdoor worker. For the +latter a slack time indicates the loss of wages, perhaps for weeks +together; and unless girls have been very prudent and careful, it means +also a season of privation to themselves, if they cannot turn their +hands to something else in the meanwhile. + +The wages may seem less. Are they really so? + +Supposing an outdoor worker has sixteen shillings a week, and this is +a very high average, and that she does not lose a day’s pay in twelve +months, she is certainly no better off than the domestic servant with +six shillings. Out of the sixteen the outdoor worker has to pay for +lodgings, food, and fire. Could she for ten shillings a week live in +the same comfort as does a domestic servant in a well-ordered home? + +Then the latter has no coming through the streets unprotected, and +in all weathers; and, in the quiet round of household duties, she +is exposed to far fewer temptations than the outdoor worker. (The +exceptions are in the cases of girls who live under their parents’ +roof, and are cared for by a watchful, loving, and judicious mother.) + +Moreover, the employment of the domestic servant is not nearly so +monotonous as that of the factory hand, or so wearying as that of the +young shopwoman who stands behind the counter for many hours at a +time. She has less anxiety than even those under whose roof she lives, +knowing nothing of consultations about making ends meet, or of fears +when quarter-day comes round. + + * * * * * + +Lastly, the domestic servant is not the ‘hand’ of whom often the +employer knows less than he does of the machine she tends, but one who +is in constant communication with father, mother, and children under +the roof--in short, as I have already asserted, she is one of the +family, and necessarily trusted as such. + +I may add that the law affords the latter very special protection in +the matter of wages, domestic servants being paid in full when other +creditors often have to accept only a portion of what is due to them, +or what is called a composition. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +IN THE NURSERY. + + +It is a somewhat remarkable fact that the younger the servant employed, +the greater and more precious is the first charge usually placed in +her hands. I mean, of course, the baby, with occasionally two or three +other small children in addition. + +To nurse the one and keep the other out of mischief is generally deemed +the fitting occupation for the little maid, herself a mere child when +she first goes out to service. The young hands that are too unsteady to +be trusted with such fragile articles as glass and crockery, lest these +should suffer damage, too unskilled in household matters to be esteemed +of much value in the cleaning and scrubbing department, are deemed +quite competent to hold the baby and act as caretaker to the whole +juvenile brood. + +Often the busy, notable mother of a family will say, when speaking of +a child-servant, ‘I cannot let her help in the house-work. She would +only make more labour than she would save; would dirty more than she +would clean; break more things by clumsiness and carelessness than her +wages would pay for. I can get through much more quickly by myself, +and nothing will need doing over again. But she _can_ nurse the baby +and look after the children, which will set my hands free to do the +house-work.’ + +So the house-mother bustles from place to place and does the work +herself. In the meanwhile, the inexperienced hands which must on no +account be trusted with the crockery, the chairs, and the tables, have +the sole charge of what should be to every mother the most precious of +helpless treasures--her infant. + +In the comparatively poor districts of large towns, chiefly inhabited +by working people and small shopkeepers, it is no uncommon thing for +a little maid, barely in her teens, to go out nursing by the day--and +generally a very long day. She comes home to sleep, the small place +where a business is carried on being often filled to overflowing by the +shopkeeper’s actual belongings. It is probably fortunate for the small +servant that she does go home to sleep, or her day’s work might come to +an end even later still, or last all night, should the baby sleep with +her. + +Numbers of little maidens make their start as domestic servants in +this way, and rise by gradual steps to what is considered a position +of greater trust and responsibility. I have been in a tiny shop when +a dot of a girl, pinafored and with a cotton hood or woollen kerchief +on her head, has entered. Dropping a little bob of a courtesy, she has +announced that she is seeking her first place by the question, ‘Please, +ma’am, do you want a girl to help to nurse the baby?’ + +It is often the case that these little maids, the eldest of large +families, have served a seven years’ apprenticeship at home nursing +before they are twice that number of years old. They are frequently far +more handy with babies than much older people, and the very small folks +always like a girl-nurse, who is not too old to romp and play, and who +enjoys the games as heartily as do her little charges. These mites love +to see a merry face, to hear a good ringing laugh, and to listen to the +nonsense rhymes and nursery jingles which come pattering from the still +childish lips of their young guardian. + +I do not know a greater affliction in a nursery than a nurse, no matter +how good and conscientious she may be, who goes through her duties in +a grave, stolid, unsympathetic way; washing and dressing the children, +tidying and stitching in a mechanical, plodding fashion, and doing +her duty faithfully, according to her light, but forgetting, in her +dealings with children, that she was once as young as they are. + +The nurse who worrits over a soiled pinafore or rumpled hair, who +is for ever straightening up, and putting the toys and litter which +children delight in and ought to have around them on high shelves +and in out-of-the-way places, may have a tidy nursery, but she will +certainly have a brood of unhappy youngsters around her. + +There are nurses who are old in years, but young in heart, bright, +cheerful, and abounding in love for children, and who come second only +to the good mother in the affection of the small people. And there are +others who are by no means old counting by years, but who left their +youthful spirits behind them, if they ever had any, when they began to +run alone. + +I once heard a lady speaking of two girls, of only eighteen and twenty, +who had the care of her three children. ‘They are both good girls,’ +she said; ‘truthful, conscientious, well-behaved. I have no fear that +the children will ever learn anything wrong from them. But they are so +stolid and dull that they seem to take all the brightness out of the +lives of the little ones. One sits like a lump at her stitching; the +other, like a second lump of human material, keeps the children out of +mischief, and takes care that the nursery is in a painful state of +order, and that smeared faces and soiled pinafores are things unknown. + +‘Let a child leave a toy for a moment, it is seized and put carefully +away. These nurses never can be made to understand that, what would +appear untidy and disorderly in a drawing-room, is the proper and +necessary state of things in an apartment dedicated to the use of +little ones. If children are to be happy they must be occupied, and to +find them employment a variety in books, toys, and pictures must be +within their reach. + +‘A childish mind does not fix itself upon any one thing for a length +of time. But though Jack may have become weary of the pursuit of +architecture, and may demolish with one stroke the castle he has spent +half an hour in building, he does not want the materials packed away, +in case he should determine on erecting a church somewhat later in the +day. He likes to have his bricks within reach, even while he is looking +at pictures, and to be able to turn from his book to his wheelbarrow +without asking nurse’s leave. Then the children want some one to laugh +with them, to sing, to lead their games and teach them new ones; and +when they go out they do not want to be led solemnly along as if they +were attending a funeral. + +‘I am sorry to part with two thoroughly good girls,’ added the +speaker, ‘but I cannot bear to see the children growing up such little +sobersides, so unnaturally grave and old before their time.’ + +‘What shall you do then?’ asked the friend to whom the lady was +speaking. + +‘Oh, I have engaged a cheery, middle-aged widow to do the sewing and +superintend generally. She is to have a little girl of fourteen under +her as her messenger and the children’s playfellow. I fell in love +with the little maid when out district-visiting, through seeing the +delightful way in which she managed to keep her own small brothers and +sisters amused and happy, with next to nothing in the way of materials. +I am quite reckoning on litter and laughter in my nursery, in place of +unvarying tidiness and dulness.’ + +Do not imagine that this lady would have tolerated any lack of real +cleanliness in the persons or surroundings of her children. She +estimated at their full value the neatness and particularity of her +maids; but she felt that, while the young bodies were admirably cared +for, the nursery atmosphere was cheerless and depressing. It was +deficient in human sunshine and sympathy. + +Instead of being merry and childlike, her youngsters were becoming +staid, prim little men and women; their very games were made a serious +business; the care of their toys was a matter of grave responsibility. +The children could hardly have had more upright and careful attendants; +but the mother saw that spotless pinafores, constant supervision, and a +tidy nursery were not in themselves sufficient for happiness. + +I have given this little sketch from life because I want to impress +upon my girl readers who think of offering themselves to fill the +situation of nurse, that something more is required to make a good one +than a mere knowledge of nursery work. + +If I were engaging a nurse for young children, I should not only +inquire about the experience she had gained in caring for their bodies, +her cleanliness, truthfulness, honesty, and general trustworthiness. +I might be satisfied on these points, and the applicant might also be +one of the best seamstresses that ever took needle in hand, and yet I +should want something of more importance than all these. + +I should need to be convinced that she was not taking a place as nurse +merely as a means of breadwinning, but because she honestly loved the +helpless little ones, and was sufficiently young-hearted to feel for +and with them in matters that are trifles to grown-up people, but great +things to children. + +I should want to study her face a little, to find that it was bright +and happy-looking, and that her voice had a cheery ring in it. To be +convinced that, when the laughing, crowing baby looked up in its glee, +it would see a responsive smile on its nurse’s countenance, and that +her presence would be likely to make the nursery not merely a cleanly +but a happy place for the children. + +So I say to my readers, never take a place as nurse unless you can +carry with you a heart large enough to hold all your little charges, +and warm enough to pay back with interest the love they are so ready +to give to those who sympathise with and are kind to them. You will +need patience to bear with them, and firmness to check what is wrong; +you will need constant watchfulness and prayerful self-examination in +order that, by God’s grace, you may be enabled to subdue in yourselves +whatever might set a bad example or produce a bad impression on the +children intrusted to your care. + +Next to the mother, probably no human being has so great an influence +over the little ones for good or evil as the nurse. Take care that +yours shall be for good. There is no lesson more quickly learned by +a child than that of trying to hide a fault by telling an untruth. +Perhaps curiosity has led to meddling, meddling to an accident and a +breakage. To cover this and escape punishment, the child deliberately +plans concealment, and tells its first lie. + +The same teacher--fear of consequences--often finds an apt pupil in +the nurse as well as in her young charges, and she tells, or it may be +only acts, a falsehood in their presence. Who can estimate the mischief +done, or the fruit produced from the seed of that evil example? Young +eyes are quick to see,--young minds to receive impressions. Not so +quick to lose the effect, or get rid of the consequences, of a single +lesson in deceit. + +Dear young nurses, let me plead with you for the sake of the immortal +souls of these precious little ones; be true in word and deed. Strive +to lead them gently and lovingly; set them a good example. Ask strength +from God to overcome the temptations to anger and falsehood. Be +careful, too, that no profane or impure expression ever passes from +your lips, to defile the ears and corrupt the minds of the children +committed to your care. Let not those young eyes witness any action +that you would be afraid or ashamed for a grown-up person to see. + +Nay, let your thoughts soar still higher, and remember the Eye that +never slumbers nor sleeps, the Ear which hears equally the prayer and +the wrong or idle words of which we often think so lightly. + +Should any accident happen to an infant either through inadvertence +or want of care on your part, be brave and true. Go at once to the +mother, and, even at the risk of losing your situation, or of a +severe reprimand, tell about the fall or the blow which the child has +received, and ask that means may be used to prevent any permanent harm +resulting from it. I have known two cases of life-long deformity and +lameness, both of which might have been prevented had the nurses told +of comparatively trifling accidents when they occurred, but which were +rendered serious for want of immediate attention. + +The little creatures had wailed and cried,--their only mode of +telling that they were in pain. The tears were put down to teething, +crossness--anything but the real cause. Had the truth been told and a +doctor sent for, the experienced professional touch and eye would have +discovered the injuries, the joints would have been replaced, and two +fine girls saved from lasting disfigurement. + +Better, far better endure displeasure or even the loss of a place, +than carry the life-long memory that, through your want of courage +and candour, a young creature’s existence has been blighted, or its +activity and usefulness impaired. Ay, and what is of still more +importance, better be the humblest drudge at the roughest of household +work, than undertake the charge of children without a deep sense of the +solemn responsibilities belonging to the nurse’s office. + +If you cannot carry into the nursery loving hearts, patience, +self-control, cheerfulness, courage, truth, pure speech, propriety of +manners, and tender sympathy, work elsewhere in the household. Remember +that it is not only the bodies of the little ones for which you have to +care, but that you will have to answer for the influence you may exert +on their minds and souls. Are they not the lambs whom Jesus loved and +blessed? Do they not belong to that flock for which the Good Shepherd +laid down His life on Calvary? + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +INFLUENCE OVER CHILDREN--BEAR AND FORBEAR. + + +There are some servants, and particularly those who are beyond +girlhood, who regard the children of the household with anything but a +kindly feeling, who bitterly resent the planting of a young foot on the +kitchen floor, and deem the appearance of a curly head in its doorway +as an unwarrantable intrusion. + +‘Now you go out of my kitchen this minute,’ cries the ruling genius. +‘You know you’ve no business here. Be off! Quick! or I’ll tell your ma.’ + +The curly head vanishes. The youngster, perhaps, only came to make a +private inquiry as to the forthcoming pudding, or something equally +innocent. But after his disappearance, cook will probably further +remark, ‘I hate to have children poking and prying about. They always +tell tales and make mischief.’ + +I can understand the existence of such a feeling if any mistress is so +injudicious, any mother so unwise towards her children, as to permit +them to act the part of spies over her servants and tattlers towards +herself. It is as lowering to her own dignity as it is insulting to +those who serve, and injurious to her children to encourage such +practices. + +On the other hand, the upright, conscientious servant has no need to +care who looks on whilst she is engaged about her daily duties. If she +reverently carries in her mind this one thought, ‘Thou God seest me,’ +and acts as in that presence, she has no occasion to trouble herself +about other observers. + +As a mother, I feel even more strongly than as the mistress of a +home. However accomplished a servant might be in the duties of her +department, I would not keep her if I thought that the morals and +manners of my children would suffer by contact with her. + +Speaking to servants in every department of service, I say, ‘Be kind to +the children, dear girls. You can, if you are Christians, give many a +hint for their good. You may whisper a word in season which may make +the angry boy ashamed of his senseless passion. You may show the little +one who is inclined to deceive the beauty and bravery of truth.’ + +Children are often inclined to gossip. They perhaps overhear something +which was never intended to reach them, and, big with the thought of a +discovered secret, are eager to share the newly-acquired knowledge with +somebody else. A young servant is the nearest individual to the little +personage who is inclined to be confidential, and to her the tale is +told, if she will listen. + +This gives a right-minded girl an opportunity of showing her own +uprightness and honourable disposition by refusing to listen, and of +pointing out to the child the impropriety of repeating what has been +said by parents or guests who had either not noticed or forgotten the +presence of the ‘little pitcher.’ + +Imagine how sweet it was to a mother’s ears when one of my children, +after speaking of happy talks she had enjoyed on Sunday evenings with +a young servant, said, ‘I always feel better after a conversation with +her, more anxious to love and serve God, and to be good and do what is +right to everybody.’ + +After such an instance as this, dear girls, you cannot imagine that a +servant’s influence is to be lightly thought of or carelessly used. I +have known an instance in another home where the religious training of +the parents was rendered useless, their boy’s faith undermined, and the +man’s future career hopelessly changed, by the contrary influence of an +old and much-trusted domestic. + +Again, if servants wish to find a common bond of sympathy between +their mistresses and themselves, the little ones will furnish it. When +riding in a tram-car, I one day sat opposite to a young mother, who was +accompanied by a girl-nurse with a baby on her lap. It was evidently +the first, and all its clothing bore traces of tasteful, industrious +fingers, rather than of great expenditure. The child was a lovely +creature, and its young mother and younger nurse seemed unconscious +of everything else. The three made a charming picture; for the little +maid, her face lighted up with love, told how her charge had been +admired by different ladies, who had even stopped her in the street to +look at and praise the bonny baby. The mother listened with eager ears +and happy face, and I left that tram-car with unwilling feet, because I +thought that in the popular carriage I had seen two human beings united +by perfect sympathy, the bond between them being a few weeks’ old +infant. + +I had a cook once who was very difficult to manage. She was extremely +clever in her own department, but determined to have her way and +to rule instead of obeying a mistress who was then comparatively +inexperienced in household management, and many years younger than +herself. I thought I must part with her; but cook had a vulnerable +point. She almost worshipped babies, and being shown into the room +where I sat with a month old infant on my knee, when she first came +about the place, she implored me to let her hold it whilst we talked. + +‘Being in the kitchen, I hardly ever get a baby into my arms,’ she +said. ‘I’m fond of cooking, but if I had to start again, I’d be a +nurse.’ + +I am sure the baby was an unconscious source of strength to our +warm-hearted, self-willed cook; and for the little creature’s sake she +would often battle against a temper which was most trying to every +one else in the house. Her stay was prolonged far beyond any person’s +expectation, and her darling was two years old before Sarah left us. +She had rendered the kitchen too hot to hold any one but herself, and +it was a question of parting with her or the other three servants. + +But I was almost unnerved at the sight of old Sarah weeping over the +child whom she had nursed since she was in long clothes, and who was +clasping her neck with one arm, while with the other hand she wiped +away the tears from her friend’s face, making her pinafore corner do +duty for a handkerchief! + +I had done what I could to obtain a situation for Sarah in which I +thought she would be as little tempted as was possible to give way to +her besetting sins, and I thankfully remember that she did well in it. + +Here let me say a few words about the need for _mutual forbearance +in the household_. There is a very old story of an aged couple whose +quarrels had been for many years the talk of the neighborhood, when, to +the surprise of everybody, the disturbances ceased. The gossips lost +their regular excitement and wonder, and curiosity took its place. +Somebody at last mustered courage to ask the old man the secret of +the unwonted peace. He replied with a smile, “My old woman and I have +got on all right since we got two bears to live with us.” This only +increased the curiosity; but it turned out that these were named ‘bear’ +and ‘forbear.’ + +Ah, the presence of these two bears is absolutely essential to the +happiness of every home. They are as much needed in the kitchen as +in the drawing-room, and I would say to every young candidate for a +situation, ‘Whatever else you may leave behind, take the two bears +along with you.’ + +Mistresses often complain that one of their most serious difficulties +arises from the disagreements amongst the servants themselves. One +lady, when telling me of this domestic trouble, was ready to cry, +because her efforts to induce her servants to be kind and friendly with +each other had utterly failed. + +‘Two of them,’ said she, ‘are pleasant-tempered enough; but the cook +and nurse are always either squabbling or sulking. We have had an +interval of peace recently, for these two gave up speaking to each +other about a fortnight since, and both are too proud to make any +advance towards resuming friendly relations. The others are made +extremely uncomfortable, and the children cannot help observing what is +going on. It is a shocking example for them.’ + +‘And are these quarrelsome girls good servants in other respects?’ I +asked. + +‘Excellent. Indeed, all four fulfil their duties to my entire +satisfaction, are respectful to their employers, attentive to guests, +good to the children. If it were not for the wretched contrariness +of the cook and nurse towards each other, I should esteem myself +uncommonly fortunate.’ + +In this case, you see, the comfort of a home was largely interfered +with, and not only the offenders themselves were miserable, but every +member of the family suffered, more or less, for want of a little of +the ‘bear and forbear spirit’ in two of the household. + +As a rule, servants are extremely reluctant to tell tales of, or to +lodge complaints against, one another. This is much to their credit; +though amongst such a numerous class there are sure to be some +tattlers. All honour to those who, in things which affect their own +comfort only, show that ‘charity which suffereth long, and is kind.’ + +But there are cases in which it is right both to speak and act promptly +and boldly. For instance, when the conduct of one makes all the rest +miserable, as in a particular instance which occurs to my mind as I +write. + +A cook in a family where several servants were kept, was for years +feared and disliked as a perfect tyrant in her own domain. She was so +jealous and suspicious, that an expression of kindness and approval +from the mistress to one of the other servants was resented as a +personal injury to herself. The recipient would be harassed with +taunts, accused of hypocrisy, and of wanting to undermine her in the +good opinion of their mutual employers. Or, as the others remarked, +‘Let the mistress praise one of us, and cook will blaze like her own +kitchen fire, and give us a hot time of it for days to come.’ + +This mistress was particularly anxious for the comfort and happiness +of all under the roof. She was careful to have respectable servants, +and to satisfy herself also about the character of their friends and +connections. This done, she personally invited them to visit their +young relatives and friends, and never had to complain that the +privilege was abused. + +But, to her surprise, visitors rarely came a second time during the +reign of this kitchen tyrant. It was only after long endurance, and +when a new cook had succeeded, that the mistress, who wished her +house to be a home to her servants, found out why it was not so. +Simply because they could not endure that their friends should be made +uncomfortable by taunts and rudeness, and they preferred to send them +from the door, or to see them anywhere or nowhere, rather than under +the roof of their employers. + +The cook was an excellent servant in other respects, but for years +she nullified the efforts of her employers for the comfort of her +fellow-servants by her jealousy, and by practicing all the petty +tyrannies which a mean and suspicious nature, combined with fertility +of invention, could contrive. + +How much the servants endured would be difficult to tell. But they did +bear, and in silence, rather than be blamed for tale-telling. They +would not complain, lest their unkind fellow-servant should lose her +place; though she had not scrupled to rob them of comfort, domestic +peace, and the family intercourse which the mistress both permitted and +encouraged. + +In this case too much forbearance was shown. I think that the right +thing would have been for the servants, first, to join in remonstrating +with the kitchen tyrant, stating at the same time their intention of +laying the matter before their mistress should cook still refuse to +hear reason. By such a course they would have saved great discomfort to +themselves, have taught a much-needed lesson to one who was not fit to +be trusted even with kitchen government, and they would have prevented +the commands of the mistress from being a dead letter in her home. + +Perhaps some of you may like a little advice as to when it is right +to appeal to the mistress, and when it is wise to be silent. In this, +as in every other difficulty, you will find all the guidance you can +possibly need in the Bible. Go on the grand principle of doing what +God’s Word and your own conscience impel you to do. + +If you are aware of a wrong done to your employers, or have good cause +to suspect that they are being robbed or wilfully deceived by those in +whom they place confidence, you ought to speak. If through your silence +the innocent would be blamed, or the guilty escape detection, you +should tell what you know. + +The person who, seeing wrong done, keeps silence, and lets another +be injured, becomes a partaker in evil-doing. Sooner or later those +who, by hiding the wrong, tacitly consent thereto, will certainly be +involved in the blame also. Some may blame you for speaking; but it is +better “that ye suffer for well-doing than for evil-doing.” So mind you +suffer as a Christian should, for doing right, if you must be blamed at +all. + +Take another piece of advice from St. Peter’s first Epistle, which is +full of practical teaching for the guidance of Christians in their +relations one towards another, and to their Divine Head. ‘But let none +of you suffer as a thief or as an evil-doer.’ + +Remember the value of a good name. If yours is unjustly attacked, +spare no pains to remove the false impression, and to regain the good +opinion of those who have misjudged you. + +‘Or as a busybody.’ See how carefully both sides are given! We are +warned against keeping silent, where doing this would injure others, +hide wrong-doing, or hurt our own good name. We are equally warned +against tattling or busying ourselves about what does not concern us. +In so many cases where a mere love of gossip would induce us to speak, +it is wiser, kinder, more becoming a Christian, to be silent. A few +sentences from God’s Word will be the best comment on this side of the +subject, and show us the propriety of silence where we should serve no +good end by speaking. + +‘He that coveteth a transgression seeketh love.’ ‘He that refraineth +his lips is wise.’ ‘He that uttereth a slander is a fool.’ ‘The words +of a tale-bearer are as wounds.’ ‘A tale-bearer revealeth secrets, but +he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.’ ‘A whisperer +separateth chief friends.’ + +To what does all this advice tend? Surely to teach us that, as +witnesses, we should be faithful ones, telling the simple, unvarnished +truth. That our lips should be ‘righteous lips.’ That we should not +gossip about the faults and failings of others, from a love of talk, +and that our daily and hourly prayer should be:-- + +‘Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips!’ + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THOROUGHNESS--ECONOMY OF TIME--CARE OF PROPERTY--PUNCTUALITY. + + +Most mistresses are anxious that household work should be well and +thoroughly done. I am, however, bound, in common fairness, to say that, +while many servants are careless and slippery--spending the time that +ought to be occupied about their work in dawdling and gossiping--there +are also mistresses who are unreasonable in their requirements. They +demand impossibilities, because they have no idea of the time that is +needed to ensure thoroughness in any branch of household work. + +‘There is nothing I like so much as a mistress who knows what work is, +and who, having done it herself, can tell how long it takes to do it +real well.’ + +These were the words of a bonny, bright-faced young housemaid who had +lately entered upon a new place. She loved cleanliness, and did not +consider that her duty was done when the ashes were removed from under +the grate, and a duster lightly whisked over the tops of the tables and +the seats and backs of chairs. + +‘I’m not afraid of the chairs being turned round or my mistress looking +into corners, or that if you lift up a book or an ornament, the shape +of it will be left clear on the dusty top of the chiffonier. I like +things to be just as clean and as bright all over as hands can make +them. But it takes time to make them so, as well as good rubbing.’ + +The girl was right. And it is a great blessing to the employed when the +employer has a practical knowledge of the work her servants have to do. + +I rejoice to think that the cookery and domestic economy classes are +doing good service in this direction, by making girls, the future +mistresses of homes, acquainted with the details of household work. + +‘She is cleanly, but dreadfully slow,’ is no unfrequent character +from an active bustling mistress, when parting with a servant, who is +perhaps less slow than thorough. + +On this subject, let me say to servants, If you are not allowed the +time to do your work well, take care that you spend upon it every +minute that you have allotted for the purpose. Let no one catch you +gossiping or idling away your time, when you have complained that it +was already insufficient for the task to be properly performed. And if, +after having done your best, you are still found fault with, ask your +mistress, in a respectful manner, if she will, just for once, look on +whilst you do this piece of work, and note how long it takes you to do +it well. + +If instead of scolding on the one side, and flying into a temper +and answering impertinently on the other, there were to be a fair +consideration and a reasonable test such as the above, we should have +fewer hasty warnings ‘to leave at the month’s end;’ less frequent +changes, and longer and more valuable service from our domestics. +These, too, would not pay us less respect or care less for our +interests, because they found us willing to listen patiently to a +well-grounded complaint, and to redress any real grievance. + +From the subject of economy of time and thoroughness in the quality +of work we turn naturally to that of care in the use of the property +entrusted to you who serve in the household. In respect to work there +can be no better advice than this: ‘Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, +do it with thy might.’ So, in using the property of others, use it as +though you had earned the money which bought it. + +Accidents will occasionally happen in spite of care; but numberless +things are mutilated or destroyed by the want of a very little +precaution. A window and door are both left open on a windy day. +The blind is next seen flapping to and fro outside, and unless some +watchful eye notices this, the crash of glass announces that the lath +has been driven through a pane or two, valuable papers have been +carried into the fire or up the chimney, a tablecloth and a number of +fragile ornaments swept on to the floor, and everything that would +break amongst them smashed to atoms by a little act of thoughtlessness. + +Who can truly say, ‘I could not help it,’ when an indignant mistress +reproaches the author of such waste and ruin? She may not have done it +on purpose, but destruction which is caused by utter carelessness is +scarcely less blamable than wilful waste. + +A great deal of harm is done to furniture by rough, bouncing servants, +who bang articles down on floor or table, who rush about like a +whirlwind, under the impression that hurry and bustle mean industry and +earnestness, who seem to think that noise is an essential accompaniment +to work. These are the people under whom the edges of our tumblers +are chipped, until they become dangerous to those who use them; in +whose hands crockery is perpetually ‘coming in two,’ and handles as +constantly ‘coming off.’ + +Chairs are recklessly brought in contact with side-boards, and the +veneering is chipped, or smooth, polished surfaces are mercilessly +rubbed with rough dusters, with the result of leaving the same covered +with all sorts of fine lines and scratches. Under such treatment the +polished top of, say, a grand piano, assumes the appearance of an +immense outline map. + +All such injury to furniture and utensils becomes a double source of +annoyance from the fact that a little care would have prevented it. +Hurry, bustle, and bounce always hinder real work. It is the steady, +methodical servant, whose work is done with the least apparent effort, +but which entails the smallest amount of destruction to property and is +most satisfactory in the long run. + +I often think of a little figure familiar under our roof for nearly +ten years, who was an admirable illustration of the value of method +and of forecasting the work. Slight in frame, short in stature, and +by no means strong, in many respects she was a living example of what +could be effected by steadiness and a thoughtful planning of her work. +Nobody ever saw her in a hurry, or with a smutty face or untidy hair. +Her gowns looked less soiled and tumbled at the week’s end than those +of many wearers would be after a few hours’ use. + +All cooking materials that could be properly prepared beforehand +or over-night were always ready for use when wanted. A glance at +the spotless dressers and the floors, from which, to use a popular +expression, ‘you might have eaten your dinner without a plate,’ gave a +sufficient pledge of the exquisite cleanliness of everything prepared +in that kitchen and by those hands. Yet all this beautiful order and +purity were the result of quiet, steady work, carefully planned and +carried out regularly and methodically. + +There is no department in which cleanliness can be of more importance +than in that of the cook. A careless, muddling cook will use her +utensils indiscriminately. She will boil her onions, for sauce, and +then, after a mere wash out, will make sweet sauce for pudding in the +same pan--we all know with what result. A fine, subtle flavour of +onions will run through the second preparation, and will, in turn, +spoil both the sauce and the pudding it is intended to improve. And +yet, when fault is found, the offender will perhaps stoutly insist, and +with a certain measure of truth, that she had washed her pan quite +clean. Washing will not remove strong flavours, and especially the +taste of onions. A pan should be kept for these alone, and no other +sauce should ever be prepared in it. It would take too much space were +I to attempt to enter fully into the many little details connected with +a cook’s duties, so I will make my advice very brief. + +Be very cleanly in kitchen utensils, person, and dress. Be specially +particular about the neat arrangement of your hair, so that it may +not be loose and straggling. Few things are more disgusting than the +sight of hairs amongst food. Scour and scald--in addition to merely +washing--all utensils. Let crockery be thoroughly cleansed from grease +and brightened in the drying. Fill milk bowls with boiling water, and +let it stand in them until it is cold before drying for use again. This +will tend to make the milk keep better. + +In using the articles of food and preparing them, avoid all waste, and +be ready to render an account of everything that is entrusted to your +care. There are some cooks who use articles lavishly and wastefully, +and who give away what is not theirs to bestow. They have no anxiety +about providing the food, no occasion to consider how bills are to be +paid, and often do not know the price and value of what they waste. +They will throw bread and odd pieces amongst the swill, and let food +be cast away to nourish swine, which many a widowed mother and hungry +child would be thankful to receive and make use of. + +Remember, you are accountable--and not to earthly employers only--for +every wasted bit, whether of food or fuel. You are stewards in your +position, as your master and mistress are stewards in theirs. And there +is another thought I would bring before you. Every housekeeper knows +that meat is daily growing dearer, and a sufficient supply becoming +less and less attainable. Consider, then, that a lavish use or waste of +meat helps to make it dearer still, and life harder for the poor. Out +of the very scraps and crumbs, if you will only collect them, thousands +of birds may be fed and the lives of the dear little songsters +preserved through the cold blasts and pinching frosts of winter. + +Every morning at my home, one of our kindly domestics may be seen +sallying forth with a plate on which all these fragments have been +collected by their united efforts. Half of the store goes to the birds +in the front, half to their brethren in the back garden; and the daily +scene at feeding-time is well worth watching for. I feel sure if you +were to begin to care for these little feathered pensioners on human +bounty, you would find so much pleasure in doing it that nothing would +induce you to give up the practice. + +As I have advised nurses on no account to conceal any accident that may +happen to the children under their care, so I would earnestly urge all +servants to tell, and at once, of any breakage or injury to furniture. +I say at once, because delay in telling always makes the task more +difficult. + +It is a mean thing, and an acted untruth, for a servant to hide away +the fragments of broken articles, conceal the mischief done, and, +perhaps, leave the place without telling what has happened. Two +unpleasant results are likely to follow. A fellow-servant may be blamed +for that of which she is innocent; a mistress may be put to serious +inconvenience for want of an article which she believed to be safe and +sound, though really it had been long broken. + +Very often she will be met with a look of combined protest and mock +astonishment when she asks for particulars. ‘Oh, that was done months +since,’ is the reply given. As though the length of time which had +elapsed made the loss less annoying, or the concealment less to be +condemned. + +Two wealthy bachelors, whose establishment was nominally under the rule +of a cook-housekeeper, were one day surprised to find that out of a +large and fine set of cut wine-glasses, none remained but those they +were using at the moment. The waitress was considered responsible for +the safe keeping of table appointments, and she had gone on breaking +and hiding, until, when a visitor came, there was no spare glass to +place for his use. + +The wrath of the masters may be better imagined than described. It was, +however, less the loss of their property than the deceit and consequent +annoyance which caused them to arrange for the prompt departure of that +waitress. + +So again I say, tell and at once of any accident to your employer’s +property. At the moment, perhaps, vexation at the loss may try your +mistress’s temper, and you may be sharply reproved. Express your +sorrow, if you have been careless, try to be more careful in the +future. Bear the reproof meekly, and, when the first irritation is +past, you will find that the prompt confession has helped to build up +your own character for truthfulness and straightforwardness. It is not +unlikely that the mistress will afterwards say something of this kind: +‘I was vexed at the moment, but I am glad you told me the truth.’ And +in speaking of you to others she may blame you for carelessness; but +she will be able to say, ‘I can trust her word.’ At any rate, your own +conscience will tell you that you have not added a wilful sin to an +unintentional error. + +And the ladies who rule in the house should encourage their handmaidens +to tell the truth in any and every case of accident. It is rather hard +to keep from speaking sharply when some fragile but much-valued article +has been smashed to atoms by careless hands. But if the culprit’s +confession and expressions of sorrow are met with scolding and harsh +words, the offender is very likely to hold her peace and hide the +fragments, should she meet with a second mishap of the kind. Not that +it would be right to do so; but the temptation to take such a course +would be vastly increased. + +Where, however, a mistress has her patience tried by repeated acts +of carelessness, and the almost wilful destruction of property, she +has the remedy in her own hands. She must either have a distinct +understanding that whoever breaks pays, or she must part with the +author of the mischief. + +Punctuality in carrying out household arrangements is valuable in every +home, as tending to make the domestic machinery run smoothly. In some +houses it is of vital importance. Yet, all the members of a family +depend more or less on each other for the power to be punctual with +comfort--the children who have to go to school, the father who must be +at his place of business, the servants whose work should be completed +by a given time. + +A lady who was about to engage a cook was extremely particular in her +inquiries about the habitual punctuality of the applicant. + +‘I can be punctual if the family can,’ was the answer. ‘I like to be +regular and orderly about my work, and am prepared to be so. But my +difficulty has mostly been to get other people to be the same.’ + +The girl spoke respectfully, and was quite in earnest. The lady +she addressed felt a guilty flush creeping over her own face as +she listened. She knew very well that, whilst professing to exact +punctuality in others, she was often sadly deficient in the practice of +that virtue. + +There is no doubt, however, that a punctual mistress will make her +servants keep to the proper time; but it is by no means equally sure +that punctuality in the employed would have the same effect on the +employers. These will sometimes say to servants, ‘You must have the +meals on the table at the time. Never mind whether any one is there +to eat them or not.’ But this would be a most unsatisfactory state of +things. The cook would grieve over spoiled dishes; the waiting damsel +would be uncomfortable; and, depend on it, the blame would be placed on +clocks, on servants, on anything and anybody rather than applied to +themselves by those who grumble over a cold or lukewarm dinner. + +I shall not soon forget my return from town on one occasion. I was +half an hour late, and after I came into the house I stopped on my way +upstairs to speak to a seamstress about some working materials which I +had brought back with me. On finally descending I was met in the hall +by that methodical cook of whom I have already written. + +‘Ma’am! Are you aware that the dinner is starving?’ (meaning, ‘getting +cold,’) she asked with a reproachful look on her face. + +I hope I felt properly guilty. I know I blushed and said, +apologetically, that if such were the case I was to blame, and not she. +And I hurried to my place at table, convinced that punctuality ought to +be an all-round thing, and, if exacted from servants, should also be +practised by all the members of the family. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +ON FAULT-FINDING--GIVING NOTICE TO LEAVE--AND GIVING CHARACTERS. + + +There are two practices not altogether unknown amongst servants +against which it is hardly possible to protest too strongly. I allude +to those of listening, in order to find out things never intended for +their ears, and of prying into odd papers or letters, accidentally or +trustfully left within reach. No right-minded girl, no person deserving +the name of Christian, would be guilty of either practice. + +If employers leave their letters and papers lying about, this certainly +implies trust in their servants, and that they believe them to be too +upright and honourable to be guilty of prying into their contents. If +they speak of private matters in such a place and tone that their +servants could hear if they were mean enough to listen, it is a proof +that they do not think them capable of such an underhand proceeding. +Deserve their good opinion, dear girls, and preserve your self-respect +by scorning to do, when unseen, what you would be ashamed of if +detected in the act. + +Servants sometimes complain that mistresses are unreasonably +suspicious, and act as though they expected to be cheated at every +turn--that, like Dickens’s Miss Sally Brass, they would padlock +everything, down to the very salt-box, until ‘there was nothing that +a chameleon could lunch upon’--and manifest to those whom they employ +a prying spirit which they would be the first to complain of in their +servants. This spirit is, however, often the harvest reaped by an +upright girl from the seeds sown by a deceitful and dishonest one. +When a mistress has trusted and been deceived, she is apt to become +suspicious where there is no occasion to be so. The only remedy is for +the new-comer so to act as to show that the more her conduct is looked +into, the better _she_ will be satisfied, as well as her mistress. + +If, however, after a fair trial, the habit of locking up every little +thing and incessant mistrustfulness should continue, a girl would be +right to try for another place, where truth and honesty were better +understood and appreciated. Were I a servant, I could not endure the +harass of being constantly suspected and misjudged, any more than as a +mistress I would, after a fair trial, keep a servant whom I could not +both trust and respect. + +People tell us that now-a-days there are no old servants--that where a +seven years’ character used to be a common thing, one for twelve months +or two years should be reckoned very good indeed. I do not agree with +these sweeping statements, and my own home experience contradicts them. +But I am well aware that, in many households, there is a perpetual game +of Marjory-move-all going on. I believe this is for want of a little +more reasonableness on both sides. + +Small difficulties, which might be got over by a little patience, twist +themselves into a knot which is summarily cut by the usual month’s +warning. If I could only persuade you never to give warning on the day +that something has occurred to irritate you, I should save many of +you from throwing away a good place. But if, yielding to a momentary +irritation, you have done this, and are sorry for it, do not be too +proud to own that you were wrong, and ask forgiveness and permission +to withdraw the notice. Your mistress will respect you and value your +services all the more after such a display of right feeling and good +sense. + +To young mistresses I venture a word of advice. If you have +something to complain about, always call your servants into your own +sitting-room, after the day’s work is over, and point out the fault +kindly and reasonably. Say what is wrong and how it is to be amended, +and be firm in exacting attention and future obedience to your orders. + +Never squabble with or rate your servants. By doing so you lose your +own dignity and their respect. Never reprove them in the presence of +visitors. Few things are more calculated to irritate, or to provoke a +disrespectful reply; besides which, it renders the guests extremely +uncomfortable. + +I once saw a lady who had a very _correct eye_, and who was very +particular about her table arrangements, seize upon a young servant, +whisk her round as she was about to leave the room, and angrily direct +her attention to a dish which was the least bit awry. The girl, a +new-comer, young, inexperienced, and fresh from the country, blushed, +trembled, and seemed ready to sink through the floor, had it been +possible. Frightened at the angry looks of her mistress, and confused +at being made a centre of observation to all those strange eyes, she +was, moreover, unable to comprehend what was amiss. By the time the +lady had, by shakes and jerks, aroused her to a sense of the mistake +she had committed, the poor girl was hopelessly unnerved and in tears. + +One blunder followed another. She handed dishes at the wrong side, +spilled the liquids when attempting to pour them into glasses, was +glared at by the mistress, secretly pitied by the guests, and occupied +herself between times in furtively using her handkerchief to wipe away +the tears which, once set flowing, were not easily stopped. + +Yet an unnoticed touch from the deft hand of the lady would have +straightened the dish. A few kind words and a little lesson in +private, instead of the course pursued, would have revealed a +disposition willing to be taught and led in the servant, and have +shown the capability of the mistress to model her into a first-class +parlour-maid. As it was, the girl left as soon as possible, and the +mistress had to seek another maid--a difficult matter, for she had got +the character of being perpetually changing her domestics. This is a +real picture, and one which, with trifling variation in actual detail, +I have seen enacted again and again. + +‘Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal, knowing +that ye also have a Master in heaven.’ + +This advice or command, given by the hand of an inspired apostle, +applies to all who bear rule over servants, whether in the place of +business or the home--to mistresses as well as masters. And surely in +giving that which is just and equal, we have to think of more than a +mere question of wages. We should be just in our acts, reasonable in +our requirements, and even in our tempers, to those who serve us. + +I know one lady who, when the smallest portion of the household +machinery went wrong, would fly into a violent passion and say all +sorts of unjust and harsh things to the author of the mishap. Being, +like most hasty people, very generous, she would next lavish gifts on +those to whom conscience told her she had been too severe. Her maids +calculated on this result, and one was heard to say that she enjoyed a +‘flare-up’ with the mistress. Her temper was soon up, but as soon over. +It was worth while to put up with it quietly, ‘it paid so well in the +end.’ + +‘Be just and equal.’ A short sentence, but how much it says! Give +praise heartily where it is fairly earned. Be equally just in pointing +out what is wrong, and firm in enforcing obedience, but do it in a +reasonable way--not in the heat of passion or in the presence of +others, but so as to convince your servants that you know both your +own place and their duty. + +Young wives, who in their early married life are often much alone, +sometimes make the mistake of first being over-confidential and +familiar, and then of going into the opposite extreme. They have +fault-finding fits, and the damsel who has been treated as a friend and +_confidante_ on one day cannot understand why her girl-mistress should +on the next be sharp in speech and distant in manner. If we mistresses +wish to be respected, we must, as I have said, be equal in temper, +reasonable in our requirements, and just in our judgments. + +I have alluded to the giving of hasty notices by servants, and +suggested how these should act if they feel they are likely to throw +away a good place, and are sorry for it. As a mistress, I would not +advise another to ask a girl to withdraw a notice given in a fit of +temper. However valuable her services might be, she had better be +allowed to go unless she herself asks to stay, and owns that she has +been wrong. + +Were the mistress to ask the servant, the latter would probably get it +into her head that she was too valuable to be spared, and the notice +would be repeated whenever she was found fault with, until a separation +became inevitable. Reasonable Christian girls have too much common +sense and right feeling to act in this foolish manner. + +On the other hand, if the mistress has been the one to give a hasty +warning, and conscience tells her that she has acted on impulse and +without a fair consideration of the grievance, I do not think she would +lessen herself, or lose the respect of her servant, by frankly saying +so, and asking the latter to remain. A good servant would show no +foolish triumph, and would give herself no airs. On the contrary, she +would manifest her sense of her mistress’s fairness by extra gentleness +of speech and manners. + +It is good alike for mistress and maid, for the mother of the family, +and the young people, down to the little one who is only able to lisp +out his request, to practise always and under the home-roof the same +politeness that we take with us into the outer world. + +There is an old saying, that ‘No man is a hero to his valet.’ The +meaning is plain. The outside world too often gets the best side of us +all. At home, we give way to little tempers, use hasty words, and act +towards those whom we profess to love best as we would not do in the +presence of strangers. Sometimes the mistress who is admired and sought +after, the girls who are called charming in society, even the little +children who have two sets of manners, one for home and the other for +company use, have different verdicts passed upon them by those who +serve in the house. + +‘She’s no lady, or she wouldn’t speak to a servant worse than to a +dog,’ is not an uncommon expression with regard to a mistress. Or, ‘If +some of these fine young gentlemen could see our pretty young miss in +one of her tempers, she wouldn’t be so run after,’ etc., etc. + +Dear young mistresses, dear girls who look forward to being such, let +me give you a hint or two. Be loving, kind, considerate, courteous, +sympathetic, thoughtful for others, careful not to wound the feelings +of those who dwell under the same roof with you. _Practise true +politeness there, every day and to every one with whom you have to do._ +Teach it to the little children, both by precept and example, and you +will be doing them an inestimable service and yourselves also. That +which is learned in childhood abides. That which is in hourly use is +not likely to be forgotten. Those who are loved for their own sakes in +the home, and whose manners are admired there, are certain to win love +and to be charming when outside that hallowed circle and under other +roofs. + +It is next to impossible for a servant to treat a mistress rudely +if the latter carries her own politeness and good manners with her +wherever she goes. And the real daughters of the family will lose +no dignity, but gain much love, if they, too, thoughtfully strive +to lighten the work of servants by giving no needless trouble--if, +thankfully remembering the goodness of God in giving them many +advantages of education and surroundings not possessed by their toiling +sisters of the household, they try to make the lot of these brighter +and happier. They may do this by kindly consideration, feminine +sympathy, pleasant words and looks, by imparting useful information, +by lending suitable books; by acting in accordance with the spirit +and teaching of our Divine Lord and Master; in short, by obeying His +command, ‘Love one another.’ ‘Whatsoever ye would that men should do to +you, do ye even so to them.’ + +We must show that we do not wish to exact all, and give nothing. We +must manifest an interest in our servants, and in those near and dear +to them. We must give a tender, womanly thought to the little, lonely +lassie who, having come to her first place, is frightened at the sight +of so many strangers, and yearns for the familiar faces she has left +behind. + +Our responsibilities extend beyond the threshold. If a mistress is +a mother also, surely the thought of her own daughters will make +her anxious to preserve every girl from what is impure or morally +injurious. The young mistresses, in their turn, will feel anxious for +the well-being of their domestics, and will strive to guard them from +all evil influences, as they themselves have been guarded in their +girlhoods’ homes. + +We mistresses, each and all, should assure ourselves that our girls +pass their Sundays as God’s children should spend His day. We should +give them opportunities of enjoying the fresh air, which is as needful +for their health as for our own. But if the girls are at a distance +from their own homes and friends, we should ascertain what associates +they have, and where and how a holiday is likely to be spent. We shall +feel that it is our bounden duty to guard from contaminating influences +these girls--the daughters of other mothers, who have been intrusted to +our care, as well as to work for us and under our rule. + +We shall encourage them to consult us in seasons of doubt, difficulty, +or temptation. We shall help them to decide on taking the right course, +and cheer and strengthen them in their efforts to resist evil. + +We, too, shall have our reward; though we work not with any thought of +benefit to ourselves, but with a single-hearted desire to do good to +others. There are certain tasks and duties the performance of which can +be bargained for, certain work that can be paid for in current coin of +the realm. But there are numberless services, labours of love, which we +cannot demand and money cannot buy. In such as these we shall reap an +abundant harvest. + +There is another matter in which we should be just and equal; namely, +in the giving of characters. Alike for the sake of the servant herself +and the future mistress, we should be equally frank and impartial. Few +mistresses willingly give the worst side of a servant’s character. +There is always the feeling that a girl’s bread depends on her +obtaining a situation, and that ill-success may drive her to evil +courses. So, whilst no untruth is told, the whole truth certainly +is not. All that can be said for the departing servant is said, the +damaging circumstances are glossed over or wholly suppressed, and +perhaps the lady comforts herself with the thought that she has done a +kind act. + +Some much-pressed house-mother takes the girl. She has probably been +unsuccessful in obtaining one, and the domestic emergency is great. +Too soon she finds out how one-sided was the character given--out of +kindness, or from fear of consequences it may be--and she feels that +she has been cruelly deceived. + +Ah, these half-truths! What mischief they do! I have always felt the +importance of being just and equal in this respect, and that I owed a +duty to the mistress in search of a servant, as much as to the girl +in want of a place. ‘The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the +truth,’ should be our motto in character-giving. + +That one and only bad servant I ever had would never have crossed our +threshold but for the written character sent by her then mistress. +When, after a few weeks of bitter experience, I came to analyse it, I +wondered that I could have been deceived by such evasive answers to my +queries, such self-evident half-truths. + +That very servant, finding that no one would engage her, after an +interview with me, wrote one of the most remarkable letters it was +ever my lot to receive. Without for a moment professing regret for her +wrong-doing, or a desire and determination to amend, she asked me to +tell a falsehood in order to hide her untruthfulness and dishonesty, +and obtain for her another place in which to resume her career of +wickedness. What I did was to visit the different register offices at +which she had entered her name, and warn those who kept them not to +send to me for a character, as I would only tell the truth, and this +would prevent any lady from engaging her. + +Occasionally one finds that an employer will give a tolerably +favourable character, but accompany her words with looks and manner +which seem to say, ‘I could tell more if I chose, but I will not;’ or +will merely state that the servant herself gave notice, and left by her +own wish. This is neither fair to employer nor servant. A girl may have +many excellent qualities, yet not prove equal to the duties she has +undertaken. In such a case, I should, were I her mistress, look round +for a vacant niche which she was likely to fill, and help her to obtain +it. I have done so more than once with most satisfactory results. But +I would never allow an inquiring mistress to be deceived, or to take +into her house the seeds of trouble in the shape of an untruthful or +impure-minded girl, for lack, on my part, of courage to speak of such a +one as she is. + +Let us, by all means, help the fallen to rise again, and stretch out +the hand of love and pity to the penitent. But let us, mistresses, +young and old, be true to others and to ourselves, and not show our +compassion by concealing the truth, or help the wrong-doer to obtain a +place by sacrificing the peace of our neighbour’s household. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +DRESS--VISITORS AND SYMPATHY IN CHRISTIAN WORK. + + +Formerly, there was such a decided difference between the dress of +mistress and maid that there was no mistaking the one for the other. +Now, much greater latitude is permitted; and it is sometimes said that, +if we wish to distinguish the mistress, we must look for the more +plainly dressed of the two when the maid is also present. Some ladies +do not interfere in the matter so long as their domestics dress quietly +and neatly when on duty. + +Without going far into the question, let me give you a little advice +on the subject. It will be just the same as I would offer to my own +children or to any other girl who might wish for it. Regulate the +amount you spend by your actual requirements. Do not spend all you can +upon dress just because you have the money. Remember there are other +ways in which your spare wages may be wisely and well laid out or laid +by. I say laid by, because, whatever be your income, you should try to +save something out of it for the proverbial rainy day. There are plenty +of ways by which thrifty people may save and invest even very small +sums, and by a penny at a time, if they can afford no more. + +For instance, the post office will supply you with a form on which you +can stick a new postage stamp, bought with a spare penny. When twelve +stamps have thus been affixed, you can take them to the post office, +receive back their value in the shape of a shilling, and make that your +first deposit in the savings bank there. Make a beginning, and you are +almost sure to go on. If you can spare a shilling at a time, you need +not buy stamps, but become a savings bank depositor at once. + +It is a pleasant thing to have a little money, your own honest +earnings, to fall back upon if sickness should come or you are out of +place. Or you may help the good father and mother to whom you owe so +much, or, if they do not need it, in due time spend your earnings on +furnishing your future home. Which of us at some time has not known a +girl who, having spent all her means on ‘fine feathers,’ has had to be +a burden on hard-working parents in such seasons of trouble as come +with sickness or want of employment? + +Then, beside laying by money, you should have some to lend or lay out +in our Master’s service. Because you are young girls in situations, are +you to have no share in Christian work, to do nothing for love of that +dear Saviour who gave His life for you? You would be very angry indeed +if any one were to say that you should have neither part nor lot in +sending missionaries to the heathen, at home and abroad, in spreading +the written Word of God, so that all may possess a copy, or in caring +for the sick and suffering in homes and hospitals. + +My own experience shows me that many amongst you give almost beyond +your means, and contribute nobly and lovingly to many a good work. If +some have not done so, they will, I trust, take this reminder in good +part, and spare a trifle, remembering that most of our great societies +owe more to the small contributions of the many than to the larger ones +of the few. + +Going back to the subject of dress, let me advise you to choose quiet +colours and as good a material as you can afford. Such will never +become conspicuous, they will wear double the time, look well to the +last bit, and cost no more for making than the commonest stuff you +could purchase; so there would be a real saving, to begin with, in this +last item. + +Have your gowns made well, but in a simple style. There is no reason +why you should not display excellent taste in this matter. But good +taste never chooses staring colours or extreme styles which are likely +to attract notice and encourage rude remarks on the _fast_ appearance +of the wearer. Good taste never loads poor materials with tawdry +trimmings, which only make a dress look shabby the sooner, and are +equally costly and useless. Good taste and good sense alike suggest +that our clothing should be in accordance with our means, and fitted +for the work we have to do and the position we occupy in the world. + +The above rules apply equally to every article worn. Never sacrifice +the comfort of having a good supply of warm, well-made underclothing, +and of being neatly and strongly shod, for the sake of mere outside +finery, such as you are perhaps half-ashamed to wear, knowing that it +is unsuitable, and wholly afraid to be seen in by your hard-working, +sensible mother. + +Lastly, save the money to pay for what you buy at the time when you +get it. Those who have to run into debt usually pay dearly for the +accommodation, and especially those who can least afford the extra +price. Tradesmen know quite well that they run some risk in trusting +young girls, who generally have nothing but their wages to fall back +upon, and whom sickness might deprive of the power to earn any. Extra +risks must mean the putting on of extra profits, and thus those who run +into debt pay a higher price for their articles than those who go money +in hand. + +Now a word about visitors. Some mistresses draw a very hard-and-fast +line on this subject, and will allow none. Servants may visit their +friends at stated intervals, but they are forbidden to receive even +those nearest and dearest to them under the roof which shelters +themselves. Most mistresses, I believe, act differently from this, and, +considering what their own children would feel if they were amongst +strangers, allow all reasonable liberty in this respect. A right-minded +girl will never abuse this privilege, or try to introduce into the +house of her employers any person of whose presence they would be +likely to disapprove. + +Remember, it is your duty to fall in with the rules of the household in +which you serve, and employers have often very good reasons for such as +may appear too strict in your eyes. In this, as in all your dealings, +act straightforwardly, and never bring in a visitor by stealth, or +in the absence of the family. Many a robbery has been successfully +carried out through the folly of young servants who have listened to +the flattering words of chance acquaintances whose real object was to +obtain a knowledge of the premises, and to find out where the valuables +were kept. Through such visitors a servant’s character has been lost, +and a girl who would not have taken a farthing dishonestly has been +suspected of being an accomplice of thieves, and punished as such. + +When visitors come by permission of the mistress, I think the latter +should always see them, say a few words of kindly welcome, ask after +the other members of the absent family, and thus manifest her interest +in what gives pleasure to her maid. She will not be the worse served +for doing this, and for showing that, amid her own household cares and +occupations, she has a heart large enough and warm enough to sympathise +with the joys and sorrows of all around her. + +But there may be, and I trust there often is, a far stronger bond of +union between mistress and servant than any which could result from the +mere fact of being placed in these relations one towards another. It is +not work well done and wages regularly paid--not the mere ministering +on the one hand and being ministered to on the other--not the being +members of the same household band and dwelling under the same roof, +which can create this bond of union to which I have alluded. + +No, there is something better still. It is the recognition of the great +truth that, while there may be a difference in our social positions and +duties here, we are alike servants of a Heavenly Master. If we are both +Christians we are sisters in Christ, members of one body, and looking +to one glorified Head, children of the same family, with God Himself +for our Father. + +Some years ago I read a brief extract from an article which was +published in one of the reviews--I think the _Nineteenth Century_--and +by a lady writer. Though I never read the whole article, I remember +the little portion I did see, and how the author suggested that we +mistresses should give our servants a share with ourselves in some +special Christian work, such as visiting and relieving the sick poor, +etc. She also stated her belief that no lady’s work could have its +full value unless united with such help, and no relations with outside +helpers could equal those which might subsist between Christian +mistress and maid, living under one roof, knowing each other’s +weaknesses, and engaged in a work where the one who in other respects +was first might be last, and the last first. + +I have no copy of the words, and do not profess to quote them +literally. But I remember the impression they produced on my mind, +because they agreed not only with my own opinion, but with my practice +and the experience of years. I read the words aloud to a young girl +who was at the moment preparing the table for dinner, and, as I +finished them, said,-- + +‘We realized the truth of what this lady has written a long time ago, +did we not?’ + +‘Yes, indeed,’ she said, her face glowing with honest pleasure, for +she was and is my willing and capable helper in the conduct of a large +mothers’ meeting--entering heart and soul into the work, respected and +loved by the members of the class. + +And those who are at home whilst she and I are at the class help +also, for they take the share of work which does not belong to their +departments during her absence. I am thankful to say that we never hear +any one of them say, ‘It is not my place,’ but that they work together +as members of a family, and, above all, as God’s children. + +Years before, another girl who is now a happy wife and mother, rendered +me the same kind of help at the class, and with equal interest and +heartiness. + +Going further back still, there comes before my mind’s eye the picture +of a bright young face, that of a housemaid then in our service. I was +ailing for some time and unable to go out on Sunday evenings; and when +it was this girl’s turn to stay in the house, I always called her to +sit with me, that we might talk, read, and pray together. I do not +remember ever spending evenings at home with more true pleasure and +spiritual profit than these. + +The girl was such a bright Christian; and when she began to speak of +the way in which she had been led to realize the great love of our +Father, God, in giving His dear Son to die for sinners, and of her +share in that finished work, I used to think her dear, earnest face was +one of the sweetest pictures that my eyes ever rested upon. + +I never think of her without remembering the happy seasons of truly +Christian communion we enjoyed, and offering a prayer that her +influence in her own home may always be an equally blessed and useful +one to what it was in ours. She would teach our children sweet hymns, +both words and tunes, and it used to be delightful to hear her rich, +full voice mingling with their childish ones in songs of praise to God. + +At that time a very dear friend, a clergyman, was a frequent visitor +at our house. None of our servants attended his church, but he never +crossed our threshold without saying a few kind words to whichever he +happened to see. He would ask after their health with the same courtesy +that he manifested towards the heads of the family, and contrive, in +a few syllables, to show them that he was ever solicitous to leave a +little message from his Divine Master, to sow a little seed which might +produce fruit to His glory, and for the good of an immortal soul. + +How this was appreciated by our girls, and especially by the dear +lassie to whom I have alluded! How she would try to repay the interest +thus manifested by the most thoughtful attentions that she could show +when waiting at table! The clergyman’s health was failing at the time, +and he was ordered to winter abroad. On his return, the young waitress +was the first to see him approaching the house, and, noticing that our +dear friend was looking weaker and more worn than when he left England, +she came to me sobbing and with her good, true face expressing the +deepest sorrow. + +I thought she must have received bad news from home, but as soon as she +could answer she explained the cause of her tears. ‘It is not that,’ +she said. ‘_They_ are all well; but Mr. ---- is coming up the walk, and +he is looking worse than ever. He is stooping like quite an old man. +I am so sorry, I am so sorry. He is so kind and good.’ Some one else +had to answer the door to our friend, who, not seeing the usual face, +inquired after the girl. He was deeply touched on finding that her +tears and trouble on his account had made her absolutely unable to meet +him. + +During dinner, when the girl was in attendance, it was pleasant to see +the manner in which she showed her grateful sympathy by anticipating +the clergyman’s slightest want, by offering a little dainty dish in a +sort of beseeching way, and venturing to hint that it was ‘very nice,’ +as she lingered a moment to see if he would recall his first refusal. + +Our friend’s wan face lighted with a kindly smile as he said, ‘I _must_ +taste this, as you say it is so good;’ and he helped himself to a small +portion, to the girl’s great delight. + +Afterwards he spoke of this little incident, and of the true sympathy +with his weakness and suffering which she manifested in every word and +act. + +‘In these days,’ he said, ‘a kind of stony unconsciousness is generally +required in table attendants. But for my part, I would rather have your +bright-faced waitress, whose countenance is perpetually reflecting the +quick sympathies of her true, warm heart, than a whole regiment of +well-drilled waiting machines.’ + +Do not imagine for an instant that this sympathy in work and +consequent familiar intercourse ever made our servants less obedient +or respectful. The contrary was the case. Communion in Christian work, +life, and aim, whilst it will bring about frequent and close familiar +intercourse between mistress and maid, would be the last thing in the +world to engender the sort of familiarity which ‘breeds contempt.’ + +No. This kind of union will be productive of mutual and ever-growing +affection and respect, and will alike tend to the well-being of the +family itself, and of all who are brought within the sphere of its +influence. Those who are Christ’s servants are always more faithful to +their earthly employers than are any others. Those who, filling the +place of mistresses, most earnestly desire to serve the Lord, are ever +the most patient in dealing with others, and most truly reasonable in +their requirements. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +‘FOLLOWERS’--HELPS TO YOUNG SERVANTS--GIFTS FROM VISITORS. + + +‘No followers allowed.’ + +These words form no unfrequent ending to an advertisement in that +column wherein the wants of mistresses are specially set forth. The +expression is very comprehensive, and no doubt intended to take in +visitors of every class that might be likely to inquire for a servant. +But in most minds the word ‘follower’ has its particular as well as +its general meaning, and one always associates it with a masculine +hanger-on. + +In a former chapter of this volume I said a few words about general +visitors, and what should be the conduct both of mistresses and maids +with regard to them. Now we will consider the ‘follower’ who may be +trying to gain the affection of one of our servants, or be actually +engaged to her. + +We who are mothers know by experience how deep is the interest excited +throughout the whole family by the engagement of a much-loved child, +especially that of a daughter. Perhaps it is even greater than in the +case of a son, though our boys and girls are equally dear to us. But +there is a difference in the way we look at them when the time comes +for marrying and giving in marriage. + +Probably for years before our son takes such a step he has been going +in and out in the world, playing the man’s part, and fighting its +battles side by side with other men. From protecting them as she used +to do, the gentle mother has learned to look up to her stalwart sons +as the ones on whom, next to the father, she might herself lean. And +when one of her boys goes out from the old roof to a home of his own, +it is to take under his firm, but, we trust, tender guardianship, the +daughter of some other loving mother. The son leaves father and mother, +and cleaves to the wife whom he is pledged to protect, to comfort, to +cherish, and to keep while life lasts. + +But the daughter’s out-going is different. She leaves the shelter of +her old home, and the loving arms of the parents whose tender foresight +has hitherto anticipated her wants and shielded her from every blast of +trouble or temptation that human guardians have power to turn aside. + +The boy went out years ago, rejoicing in his youth and masculine +strength, and proud to put it to the proof. The girl, when she passes +from the roof of her parents to be mistress under that of a husband, +often goes out to act an independent part for the first time in her +life. Feeling doubtful as to her perfect fitness for the solemn duties +before her, she looks back for counsel and guidance to the one who, if +a true mother, has ever been ready with both. And the mother, if she +is also a wise one, will advise without interfering, and influence for +good without intruding on the almost sacred independence of her child’s +new position and the privacy of her home. + +Naturally, from the very instant that the daughter is sought, the +mother is on the alert to satisfy herself as to the worthiness of +him who seeks to win her child. The subject is all-important, for it +involves the happiness or misery of her darling’s future life, and, as +a matter of sympathy, will seriously affect her own. Should she believe +the individual unworthy, what efforts will she not make to shield her +child from the evil which would result from a connection with him? If +otherwise, how the mother’s memory goes back to her own young days, +and, in the happiness of her daughter, lives them over again. Her heart +expands to take in another son, her mind is full of plans on behalf of +her darling, and she rejoices over her and with her with exceeding joy. + +Why have I written all this about mother and daughter, and of the days +when the girl is sought, wooed, and won? What has this to do with the +little maid in the kitchen, or the neat-handed Phillis who waits so +deftly at table, and who, while constrained to look unconscious, is +very wide awake as to what is going on, and, for reasons of her own, +very full of sympathy? Why? Because surely the mother whose interest +in her own daughter’s welfare is so deep and absorbing, should have +a little care and sympathy and interest to spare for her young +kitchen-maid or pretty waiting damsel, whose circumstances are in some +respects similar to those of her darling girl. + +These have had to leave their mothers very early in life. Often when +they are still children, barely in their teens, the young creatures +have begun breadwinning, and learned to shift and act for themselves +when they most needed the mother’s eye to watch over them, and the +wise word which might have kept many a wanderer from straying into +dangerous paths. Surely, when we take these girls to be members of our +households, we should try not only to guard the safety of our homes, +but the safety and purity of these daughters of far-away mothers. + +The rule, ‘No followers allowed,’ carried out with rigid particularity, +may preserve our houses from idle or dangerous intruders; but, on +the other hand, it throws our young servants more into the power of +worthless and dissolute young men, who seek their company with no good +intentions towards them. Sometimes, perhaps, such followers may only +want to while away an idle hour in the company of a bright girl with +a pretty face, and the girl may think no harm can result from merely +talking to, or walking out with, one of whom she knows almost nothing, +and whose acquaintance she has made in the street. + +But the end of such intercourse is often very sad, too sad to say much +about in these pages. Often the young, ignorant country girl, new to +town service and city ways, is induced to accompany her ‘follower’ +to some objectionable place of amusement. She stays out later than +the appointed hour for her return, and gets into disgrace with her +employers, who threaten dismissal should the offence be repeated. + +Perhaps the ‘follower’ next waylays the girl as she is going on an +errand, hears the story of her mistress’s displeasure, laughs at it, +and encourages the foolish young thing to ‘give it her back.’ The +girl believes what she is told, that she can get as good a place any +day, for there are more places than servants to fill them. She likes +the flattery which praises her pretty face, and carries out the evil +counsel of the wily tongue. + +Again the mistress has to chide her for her lagging steps, having been +kept waiting whilst her young messenger spent her time in gossip. The +lady has cause for complaint, and the girl knows it. But she has been +incited to rudeness and rebellion, and instead of expressing regret, +or promising amendment, she is saucy and defiant at first, then sullen +and disobedient. So begins the trouble which too often ends in loss of +place and character to the girl herself, and of life-long sorrow to the +mother in her country home. + +This is one instance where a little motherly oversight and a few wise +words spoken kindly and in season might have saved a young life from +blight and sorrow. I say might, I dare not say would, because there are +girls who are too headstrong to permit the interference of a mistress +in matters with which they consider she has nothing to do. + +Perhaps the mistress is too much put out by the girl’s conduct to take +this trouble. She sees her wilful, pert, or sullen, and concludes to +let her take her own way, saying to herself, ‘She will rue it before +long. She will have to pay for her folly and impertinence, and wish too +late that she had valued the home she now enjoys under this roof.’ + +Dear mistresses, let me plead with you on behalf of these wilful young +creatures who rush headlong into the society and the paths which cannot +tend to good. Do not let their folly influence you to loose even the +weak hold you may have upon them, without an effort to save them from +themselves. ‘Be not overcome of evil,’ but strive ‘to overcome evil +with good.’ You are older, have greater experience, and should also +have more self-control. So conquer the inclination to be angry, though +you may be justly displeased. Think of your own young days, when +you had, and most likely needed, constant oversight, patience, and +forbearance from a tender mother. Think how you were guarded all round +from the risks which your young handmaiden, so early sent out into the +world, has to encounter at every step of her way, and how in turn you +guard your own more favoured children from the chance of temptation. +And thinking of all these things, lay a kind hand upon the girl’s +shoulder. Look into her face with an expression on yours which shall +tell her that it is because her well-being is dear to you that you seek +her confidence, and desire to restrain her steps and influence her in +the choice of her companions. + +If you succeed in convincing the girl of your anxiety for her real +good, and save her from the probable consequences of her giddiness and +folly, she will bless you, and most likely repay you by future faithful +service. And if not, you will have done what you could; and while you +may grieve over your ill success, conscience will approve, and the +effort that sprang from a loving motherly heart will not be forgotten +by the Master you have striven to obey and imitate. + +As your true friend, dear girls, let me urge you to receive in a +right spirit the advice of your employers, even in things which you, +perhaps, think outside their province. The daughter, though out of a +mother’s sight, would not say that she was for that reason freed from +a mother’s authority. If, therefore, a mistress interests herself in +your well-being when you are outside the home, is desirous that your +companions should be of the right kind, and inquires especially into +the character, conduct, and prospects of any one who may seek you for a +wife, be thankful. Do not think that she does it out of a prying spirit +or to serve any selfish end. Remember, it is just what she has done in +the case of her own child, and rejoice that she cares enough for you to +be anxious, not only for your present comfort, but for your life-long +happiness. + +Mistresses should encourage, and servants should practise, perfect +openness with regard to ‘followers’ or engagements. Yet there are +faults on both sides, faults of concealment and of selfishness which +ought not to exist. + +For instance, a young girl engaged herself as parlour-maid to a +lady who was accustomed to keep her servants a long time and to be +most considerate in her treatment of them. This girl went with an +excellent character. She had given up her place only because her late +employers were removing to a distance, and she did not wish to leave +the neighbourhood. Her parents’ home was near, and this seemed quite a +sufficient reason why she did not choose to quit it. + +The girl’s conduct fully justified the character given, and the lady +congratulated herself on having so easily filled the vacancy caused by +the marriage of a much-valued servant. At the end of two months, she +was amazed at receiving the usual notice from Hannah that she was about +to give up her place. + +‘Leave in a month!’ said the lady. ‘You cannot mean it. You are only +just settled, as it were, and I am thoroughly satisfied with the way in +which you do your work. I looked forward to keeping you for years. What +is your reason for wishing to go?’ + +The girl hesitated, blushed, and at last owned that she was going to be +married at the month’s end. + +Thinking that Hannah must have entered into the engagement very +suddenly, the lady asked her if she were well acquainted with the +character of the man to whom she was so soon to be united. + +‘Oh dear, yes, ma’am,’ replied Hannah cheerfully. ‘We went to school +together when we were quite little children. We have been engaged five +years. It was because he lived here, and we were going to be married +so soon, that I would not leave this neighbourhood. I wanted to see to +things for our house, and to help George to choose what was wanted. I +couldn’t have done that if I had been at a distance, so I took your +place just for the three months, as I didn’t want to be idle or lose +that much of wages.’ + +The lady was justly annoyed at the girl’s selfishness, and said, ‘You +ought to have been frank with me, Hannah, and told me exactly how you +were situated. I little thought, as you went about doing your duties so +well, that all the while you were simply making a convenience of me and +my place to suit your own.’ + +Hannah looked a little ashamed, but, I am afraid, was better satisfied +at having gained her end than sorry for the annoyance caused to an +excellent mistress. + +Another instance of selfishness which came under my notice was on the +mistress’s side. Her children’s nurse, who had been most devoted to her +young charges, and stayed several years in her place, gave notice to +leave. She, too, was going to be married. + +‘How very tiresome!’ said the mistress, with a look of annoyance and +without one sympathetic word. ‘I never thought you would leave us. +But it is always the way with you servants. You never think of the +inconvenience a change may cause, and specially in the nursery. There +is Harry, poor child! you know he is so used to you that he will not +even let me attend to him. I wonder you have the heart to leave him.’ + +And the lady left the nursery with an injured look, to pour out her +grievances in the ear of her husband. + +The nurse had been allowed no chance of reply, or she could have told +that love for the invalid boy had induced her to put off her marriage +for a year, in order that she might watch him through a critical +period. That her devotion to Harry had supplied the maternal care the +boy needed, but would never have received from the selfish mother, +who would say, ‘I trust you thoroughly, Jephson.’ Then, with scarcely +a glance at her boy’s face, she would leave him to the care of the +faithful nurse, whilst her evenings were spent amid gay scenes and +under other roofs than her own. + +No wonder that Jephson felt bitterly the selfishness and want of +sympathy in her butterfly mistress, and left that house and the +children she had tended with a sore heart and a sense of injustice. + +‘After the way I was treated, I could not have said another word about +my own affairs for the world,’ she remarked. ‘I just stayed my time, +did my work same as usual, held my tongue, and left when the day came. +And the mistress sent my wages to me, and never came near to say +“good-bye,” or “I wish you well, Jephson.” It was hard to leave Master +Harry, bless him! and I don’t suppose his mamma will let him be brought +to see me. But I could not go to that house again, even for the child’s +sake, though I had lived so many years there.’ + +No wonder that even love for her nursling was insufficient to conquer +the faithful woman’s sense of his mother’s selfishness. In this case +the servant would have been only too glad to make her mistress fully +acquainted with her position. But, while the lady trusted the servant +with the care of her children, she neither felt nor manifested any +interest in the person who had so long relieved her conscience of a +sense of motherly responsibility towards her invalid boy. + +I turn gladly from the last-quoted instances of selfishness in both +mistress and maid, to recall much more agreeable pictures. I have +pleasant memories of good and modest girls, who gladly appealed to +the older and wiser heads of those they served, for the advice these +were willing to give. Memories, too, of employers who, having first +made careful inquiries into the characters of their servants’ suitors, +and satisfied themselves of their respectability, have given them +the privileges of seeing the girls at home, at reasonable times and +intervals. + +Surely this is the best way of protecting our young servants from +becoming a prey to the influence of bad or merely idle hangers-on, +whose acquaintance could not possibly be beneficial. For, consider, it +is no more unsuitable for our servants to look forward to marriage, as +a woman’s natural vocation, and a fitting end to service, than for our +daughters to expect that they will be wives and mothers in their turn. +Should we like our own girls to meet their lovers or affianced husbands +in the streets, or in the houses of persons other than parents, and who +have no power to influence them in any way? + +If our servants have parents living in the neighbourhood, the +responsibility naturally rests upon them. If not, a mistress can +scarcely rid herself of it, with respect to the young girls in her +service. I acknowledge that there are many drawbacks to the admission +of the servant’s suitor to the master’s roof. One is often found in +the shyness of a kindly, true-hearted young fellow himself, who means +nothing but what is honourable and right to the girl who has won his +affections. He has, perhaps, never crossed the threshold of such a +house as she inhabits, and he fears that he should feel very bashful +and awkward, especially in the presence of her fellow-servants. + +As a rule, the girl’s manners are superior to those of her suitor. She +may have come from a home like his own, and be the less educated of +the two, and yet he is sensible of a difference vastly in her favour, +because daily contact with persons of superior learning, position, and +refinement has effected a great improvement in her speech and manners. +So he is often the one to shrink from subjecting his country ways to +the scrutiny of city eyes. + +Again, as the kitchen is common ground for all the servants, there +is often a difficulty about the apartment in which a girl may see +her visitor. All such matters are for separate consideration, and +fellow-servants may act with kindly sympathy and true delicacy towards +each other under such circumstances. + +I have seen difficulties overcome, opportunities a little out of the +common afforded for the young people to meet respectably. Even an +occasional avoidance of a portion of the grounds by the family has +given Robert an opportunity of enjoying a pleasant stroll with Mary, or +an hour of blissful quiet beneath the friendly shelter of the little +summer-house, whilst the girl was actually within call the whole time. + +I have seen mistress and maid go out together when the latter was about +to begin housekeeping, that the former might give her the benefit of +her greater experience in making purchases for the future home. I well +remember one girl who said, ‘My bit of money would not have gone nearly +so far, if it had not been for my mistress’s kind advice. I had never +bought things for a house before, and I should have thought more about +looks than service in my purchases. But she knew all about the quality +and what would suit best, and she was so careful to see that I got my +money’s worth. I don’t know how to thank her.’ + +Was not this a pleasant experience both for mistress and maid? Was the +lady less honoured for her womanly and motherly conduct by the rest of +her domestics? Or did she receive less willing service, because she +had devoted a portion of time to promote the comfort of the girl after +she had passed from under her roof? Assuredly not. Every act that +shows recognition of one common humanity, and sympathy with its best +and holiest feelings, not only diffuses happiness, but brings it to +ourselves, and wins for us more hearty service. + +I never like to turn from a pleasant picture to an ugly one, but I +feel bound to give both sides. The rigid rule, ‘No followers allowed,’ +is very often made and enforced, because the confidence of employers +has been abused and kindness encroached upon. Trustworthy domestics +pay penalty for the faults of others; and those who think the rule too +severe, and are too upright to attempt evasion, will not take service +where it is in operation. + +I knew one young girl who applied for a situation, and was told by the +mistress that no servants’ visitor, male or female, was ever allowed +under her roof. ‘Then I need not trouble you any further, ma’am,’ said +the girl very respectfully. ‘I have been engaged for three years to +a young man whose character will bear looking into. We cannot marry +for years to come, unless some change should take place, for he has +a widowed mother to help, and two of her boys are not old enough to +earn anything yet. But I am going to wait for him, if it be for ten +years more. In my last place, James was allowed to come and see me at +suitable times. He wanted nothing else, and he never had a crumb in +the house except the lady herself wished him to stay to a meal, and +asked him. My own parents live a long way off, and James’s mother too +far for me to go to her house. He must come to me, and I have too much +respect for him and myself to have a meeting-place, like many girls do.’ + +‘What do you mean by a meeting-place?’ asked the lady, interested by +the girl’s frank words and honest face. + +‘You know, ma’am, that young people may meet in the street, but they +can’t stop there in all weathers, they must be under cover; and if they +have no proper friends, they perhaps go to a public-house, or some +place of amusement. It must be a cheap one, as they cannot afford to +spend much money, and sometimes it is not a very good one, either for +young men or girls. But what else is there? Well, some woman--maybe +your charwoman, or laundress, or greengrocer’s wife--lets the young +people have a place to sit and talk in, and they pay her for it, often +enough with food or odds and ends that belong to their mistress.’ + +The lady reflected for a moment. She remembered instances of mysterious +disappearances and extravagances which could never be accounted for, +and then began to ask herself whether it might not be worth her while +to relax the rule about visitors. She had taken servants before, who +professed to agree to everything and promised everything; but the +result had been deceit and frequent changes. Here was this girl, who +brought a good character, whose honest face commended her at once, but +who would not promise observance of the rule, ‘No followers allowed.’ +Surely she would be better worth having than many plausible but +unreliable applicants for the place, who professed to look shocked at +the very suggestion of male visitors. + +‘I think I will see your late mistress,’ she said; ‘and if I find that +you have never abused the liberty she allowed, I may give the same.’ +The girl’s face brightened, as she replied,-- + +‘I shall be very glad, ma’am. You will find I have told you the truth. +I should not be seeking a new place, but my mistress is giving up her +own house to live with two unmarried sons at a distance.’ + +Inquiry satisfied the lady, and she engaged the girl, who years +afterwards married from the house, and carried with her to her new home +many marks of goodwill from her employers. + +In the matter of ‘followers’ I do not for a moment presume to say +that one rule could possibly apply in all cases. I merely give real +instances and experiences, and leave mistresses and maids to act and +judge for themselves. Only to the former I would say again, ‘Remember +your own young days. Think of your own daughters, and, as you would +lead them aright and shield them from evil, strive to advise and +influence your servants. Not by continual preaching. Say the word in +season, and say it in such a manner that the girls may be convinced +that you speak from a real desire to benefit them, not yourselves.’ + +And, dear girls, be true. Do not make promises for the sake of securing +a place, when you never intend to keep them. But if the rules of a +house are such as you could not conform to, follow the example of +the girl I have told you about. Explain your position candidly and +respectfully, and leave the lady to decide whether it is worth her +while to relax a rule in favour of you or not. + +I might suggest one or two safeguards to young girls fresh from the +country. Many of you have been Sunday scholars, and some would like +to continue such, were the opportunity allowed you. Ask for it, and +probably you will find that mistresses will make a little sacrifice, in +order to promote what must tend to their servants’ benefit. If girls +of their own accord ask for continued opportunities of instruction in +God’s Word, and prefer the Sunday-school or adult Bible-class to the +streets when it is their day out, I think most mistresses would gladly +encourage such a preference. + +Young Welsh girls, in particular, will often sacrifice something in +order to be near a place of worship where service is conducted in +their native tongue, and they show how they value the Sunday-school +by continuing as scholars years after the usual age of leaving. Since +those whom they meet must have similar tastes, this fact secures for +them the kind of associates that Christian employers would choose for +their servants. + +The Girls’ Friendly Society (see No. 168 of _The Girls’ Own Paper_) +offers great advantages to such as are at a distance from home +and friends. It is for the benefit of young persons in business, +mill-hands, and even workhouse girls, as well as domestic servants; and +I would advise all who are eligible to join it. It is for young people +of all religious denominations. + +Above all other guides and helpers, however, let me impress upon you, +dear girls, the importance of seeking the aid of the Holy Spirit at +every step of your way. If there is one act which is all-important, +surely it is that which links your fate and your future life with that +of a partner who must be yours for better for worse, for richer for +poorer, in sickness and in health. Do not, then, begin an acquaintance +without considering the end, and asking yourself whether it will tend +to your spiritual good; whether it will merely give you a husband, or +unite you to one who will walk with you on the narrow path that leads +to everlasting life, will strengthen your steps, and help you, day by +day, to love God more and serve Him better. Marriage is either the best +and holiest of earthly ties, or it differs widely from what our loving +Father in heaven meant it to be. + +May all who read these chapters be kept from entering on such solemn +obligations without earnest thought and prayer, and, whatever be the +worldly advantages, may they only contract such marriages as they feel +that God will indeed own and bless! + +I have been much touched by the conduct of girls, themselves quite +young, towards the still younger sisters left in the old home. The +eldest of a family who gets a situation and does well, frequently sends +for her sisters in turn, and helps them to obtain employment. Sometimes +a first place has not been a success, or the younger girl has not had +sufficient experience to fill it properly, and leaves after a brief +term of service. Then the elder has a painful sense of responsibility, +lest the young one should come to harm. I have known mere girls watch +over such juniors with a tender care exceeding that of some mothers. +Sometimes, they have deprived themselves of really needed articles to +help out the new-comer’s wardrobe; they have paid for decent lodgings +for her, and even undertaken to settle the doctor’s bill in a case of +sickness. + +I once remonstrated with a young girl about doing too much, as I feared +that her sister did not appreciate her self-denial. ‘Had you not better +send her home again?’ I said. Tears came into the girl’s eyes as she +said, ‘There are so many of them at home, and I brought her here to +relieve father and mother. I will not send her back to them if I can +help it.’ I admired the self-devoting goodness of this dear girl, and +rejoiced with her when she at length saw her young sister in a good +place and under the wise supervision of an excellent mistress. + +In such a case as the above, a lady might render a real service to a +good servant by allowing a young sister to spend a few days in her +house, whilst on the look-out for a fitting situation. A mistress might +also assist her servants to save out of their wages by allowing a +sewing maid to cut out a bodice pattern, and show a girl how to put the +parts of a plain frock together. + +I have been urged to add a few words on the subject of visitors’ +presents, or I scarcely think I should do so. The word ‘vails’ is +little used now, but it was common enough when I was a girl amongst +people older than myself. I cannot tell why it was applied in such a +manner, but, as ‘to vail’ or ‘veil’ means to hide, I think the name +must have been given to visitors’ presents, because the money was +generally slipped quietly from hand to hand, so that no bystander would +see the coin in its passage. We use a much less pretty word now, and +speak of giving ‘tips’ to porters at railway stations, or any persons +whom we wish to receive recompense for personal service. + +I would first say a word on this subject to servants. When you are +engaged, it is an understood thing that visitors under your employers’ +roof shall receive during their stay all the attention that would be +expected were they members of the family. They are such for the time, +and as the master and mistress generally show particular anxiety for +the comfort of the guests, the right-minded, unselfish servant will do +the same. She, too, will be extra attentive, if she only realizes that +she is a member of the family herself, and should act as entering into +the feelings of those who fill the highest places in the common home. +And if it should happen that in the end she receives no gift from the +parting guest, surely she will not feel quite unrewarded? She will +have pleased her employers, done as she would be done by when under +a roof not her own, and added much to the comfort of the temporary +sojourner. + +I do not for a moment intend to suggest what amounts should be given, +or to which servants, when presents are made. But it often happens +that, when leaving, a visitor only sees one servant, yet feels that +more have contributed to her comfort. Perhaps she does not like to ask +for the others, or they are so engaged that she cannot see them, and +she gives the amount she intended to divide to the one only, without +expressing any wish as to its being shared with the rest. + +Under such circumstances, whilst no one could deny a servant’s right to +keep what was given, I do think that a conscientious, unselfish girl +would share it with such other members of the household as she knew had +shared the extra work caused by the presence of visitors. + +It is quite a different matter where unusual services have been +rendered by one above the rest, or in cases of illness, where the +attendance has quite exceeded that to be expected under ordinary +circumstances. + +I can say, with true pleasure, that I have often seen these +extra services rendered with such single-hearted kindness, such +self-forgetfulness and devotion, that no one could imagine the thought +of fee or reward to be associated with them. + +And I have also seen a miserable spirit of jealousy amongst +fellow-servants at any little preference shown, even when the recipient +had well merited it by her thoughtful attentions. I have seen kitchen +servants come forward when a visitor was leaving, and ostentatiously +profess to help with the luggage, when any one could see that such aid +was not necessary. I have noticed others push to the front, and give +some little, quite needless, touch to a visitor’s wrap, in order to +attract attention and gain a coveted ‘tip.’ + +These are little meannesses, dear girls, against which I would warn +any who may be guilty of them, and say: ‘Act fairly and unselfishly to +each other when you receive gifts. Render service as if you found a +pleasure in making all around you comfortable, and not as if your eye +were directed towards the possible “tip” whilst the hand ministered to +the visitors’ wants.’ + +I have delightful memories of very different conduct: of smiling faces, +feet quick to run, and willing hands; hands, too, that, instead of +being eagerly outstretched to receive, have shrunk from receiving, and +kindly tongues which have said, as if they meant it, ‘Indeed, ma’am, I +don’t desire anything. It has been a real pleasure to do anything for +you, and I hope I shall soon have it again.’ + +Sometimes, however, servants can hardly have such a feeling towards +guests, because they do not act so as to deserve it. If servants can +display little meannesses, so do those who ought to set them a better +example. They will not only receive, but exact, many extra attentions; +and when the time comes to say ‘good-bye’ to their entertainers, they +will not notice those who have ministered to their comfort, or even +give what costs nothing--a word of thanks. + +Now I hold that a true lady will show her good breeding all round, and +that a true Christian will show consideration for the feelings of all +with whom she has to do. When she is leaving a place, she will say a +farewell word to the servants; and in bestowing her present, whether +little or much, she will add to it the thanks for kind attentions +which by a right-minded girl will be valued more than the money. Even +if the parting guest’s circumstances are such that she is unable to +bestow money, do not let her on that account omit the thanks which show +that she appreciates and is grateful for attentions received. By such +neglect she would give pain, and probably be set down as ‘no lady;’ +not because of her want of money, but of the kindly courtesy which is +equally becoming to those of high and low degree. + +Servants should also remember that a small parting gift is often no +gauge of the giver’s generosity or good-will. It probably costs the +person of small means far more self-denial than does the lavish gift of +some richer guest, who can bestow it without any personal inconvenience +or being conscious of a difference. + +To sum up the matter, let me repeat, ‘Care for your employers’ visitors +in the best way possible to you, and so give them increased comfort +and yourselves the pleasure of contributing to the brightness of +their sojourn.’ If you receive no other reward, you will have the +satisfaction which generous, loving hearts always experience in having +given good measure, whether it be of merchandise or of work. For, +remember, ‘With what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you +again.’ + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +THE ONE SOURCE OF STRENGTH. + + +I have made no attempt to define the duties of any special household +department, or to suggest what share of work should fall to each +servant. Details must vary a good deal according to the number +employed, and the habits and rules of each family. + +My object in writing has been to offer such advice to servants, and +particularly to young ones, as may help them to take a higher view of +their position, its trusts and responsibilities. To show them first how +great is the influence they possess, and, secondly, how they may use it +for good. + +Such little word-pictures as I have drawn, by way of illustrating my +meaning, are all from real life and personal experience. I trust they +may serve either as examples or warnings to those who look on them with +an understanding eye. + +I have wished to show girls in service that the very simplest +household work may be performed in such a manner as not only to please +your earthly employers, but to glorify your Master in heaven. + +What must you be in order to do this? Faithful, obedient, honest, and +upright, true in word and deed; forbearing, kind, ready to forgive; +unselfish in your dealings with your fellow-servants, loving to the +little ones of the household; merciful to the dumb animals which depend +on human care, careful of the property committed to your keeping; doing +whatever you find to do in a large-hearted, loving spirit, so that +those who see you will acknowledge that thus you are striving to adorn +the doctrine of God your Saviour in all things. + +Not in great things only. To do great things is the lot of but few. +It is the doing well the work belonging to our own place in the world +which alone is required from us. Remember the words used by Jesus in +the parable of the talents. To the servant who had received but two, +yet had turned them to the best account in his power, they were spoken, +the same as to him who had received five:-- + +‘Well done, good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a +few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into +the joy of thy Lord.’ + +I fancy I hear some young voices addressing me thus:--‘You set before +us a high standard; how shall we reach it? You own that we have +difficulties to struggle with; that we have many things to hinder +us, and so much both to learn and to unlearn. Some of us come from +poor homes at first, and have had very little training to fit us for +service. We have idle and careless habits to amend, self-indulgent ones +to fight against. + +‘Many of us have been little used to think before speaking, or to fight +against hasty tempers. + +‘Perhaps we do not think as kindly of our mistresses as we ought; but +consider them more our enemies than friends, and that their object is +to get as much work out of us as they can, and return us as little. + +‘We have heard people talk of servants as domestic plagues, and the +“servants’ question” is often discussed as though we had no feelings at +all, or else all the bad ones. + +‘No doubt we often try the patience of our mistresses by our mishaps +and mistakes. But if only they would not expect us who have not had +half their advantages to be perfect, to begin with, we should not get +disheartened and careless about pleasing, as we often do. We want to do +right, but----’ + +And the speakers pause, as travellers sometimes do at the foot of +some lofty mountain, in doubt whether it will be worth their while +to toil onward and upwards to the summit. Ah! the climber may not be +sure whether, after all his weary steps, the view will repay him. He +may reach the top, and find himself wrapped in a veil of fleecy mist, +through which his eyes cannot pierce, and he descends sorrowful and +disappointed. + +But those who are toiling heavenward, no matter how rough the path by +which they follow Jesus, can never be disappointed. Each step made sure +renders the next easier; each fault conquered makes the victory over +another a something to be counted upon. Was the path of Jesus a smooth +one? Had He no cross to carry before He won the victory over sin, +Satan, death, and the grave, and returned in triumph to take again the +crown eternally His own? + +What was our Master’s source of strength? Was it not found in frequent +prayer, in communion with God, in being armed with the sword of the +Spirit, even the revealed Word of God, and ever ready to use it? + +Again I think I hear some of you say, ‘We have very little time or +opportunity for private prayer. We seldom have even a bedroom entirely +to ourselves. At night we are often up late; we must rise before the +rest of the family to prepare what is needed for their comfort. We +feel too tired to rise earlier still, in order to get the time for +prayer. During the day, if we think we will get a spare half-hour, +we are liable to many interruptions, and the sound of a bell may call +us from our knees almost as soon as we have bent them at our Father’s +footstool. Much cannot be expected from us--the time we have for prayer +is so short.’ + +True; and what a comfort to think that we can always count on being +judged according to our opportunities by Him to whom all hearts are +open and all desires known! And how sweet to remember that it is not +only our prayers which find utterance, but the very desires of our +hearts which are known to God! So the longing, earnest wish to be His +child, and to do His will, can be read as plainly as the expressed +petition can be heard by Him. + +Let me ask you: Have you used all the opportunities you have had? If +you have only been able to call a few moments your own, have you spent +them in asking for the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit, who will lead +you to see your need, sinfulness, helplessness, and weakness; who will +reveal to you that dear Saviour in whom your wants will be supplied, +your sins pardoned, and strength given you for every good word and +work? Your hands may be busy, but you may lift up your heart in prayer. +You may be working for an earthly employer, yet holding sweet communion +with your Heavenly Father, God, and King. + +It is not a long prayer that is needed. But in asking, you must want +also; in coming to God, you must believe in His will and His power to +hear, answer, and save to the uttermost all who approach Him in the +name of Jesus. + +A short time since, I read the following anecdote: + +‘At the battle of Edgehill, brave Lord Lindsay, with his son, Lord +Willoughby, headed the royal foot-guards. Immediately before charging, +he prayed aloud in these words, “O Lord, Thou knowest how busy I must +be this day. If I forget Thee, do not Thou forget me.” Then turning to +his men, he said, “March on, boys.”’ I cannot tell you how often this +little story has come into my mind since I read it, or how frequently I +have repeated, from my heart, the substance of that short prayer, ‘If I +forget Thee, O Lord, do not Thou forget me.’ + +And though you and I are placed in very different circumstances from +those in which the brave old soldier who uttered it found himself, we +also must march to battle every day and hour of our lives--the world, +the sinful desires of our own hearts, and the temptations of Satan, +being the foes we have to face, and, in God’s strength and by His +grace, to overcome. + +We can go to the Bible for samples of short prayers, which obtained +sufficient and speedy answers. ‘God be merciful to me a sinner,’ +gained one with enough of comfort to send home justified the penitent +publican. At the cry, ‘Lord, save, or we perish,’ Jesus arose, rebuked +the winds and waves, and there was a great calm. ‘Lord, remember me +when Thou comest to Thy kingdom,’ called back the assurance from the +dying Saviour to the sinner, enduring a punishment which he owned to +be the just reward of his deeds, ‘This day shalt thou be with Me in +paradise.’ Short petition, and what a brief reply! but enough to take +away the load of guilt, the dread of coming judgment, and the sting of +death itself from the thief upon the cross. + +Let these examples cheer and comfort you when, amid the daily +occupations of a life of service, you lament that you have so little +time for prayer or quiet communion with God. If you are in earnest in +wishing for them, you will find more opportunities for both than you at +first imagined to be within your reach. + +I remember being much struck with a prayer of which I can only recall a +few words, but these always remain and often recur to my mind: ‘O God, +when Thou comest to number up Thy jewels, do not forget that I cost +Thee as dear as any.’ + +Surely if we think what a price has been paid to redeem a sinner from +death, we shall have boldness to ask that, with His dear Son, God will +also, for His sake, freely give you all other good things. Do not be +cast down: the way is open, the invitation is for you, the welcome +is certain, and none need be discouraged. Come in heart, though your +hands may be busy and your feet running to and fro. Lift up your voice, +or your thoughts only, in prayer to God, though you cannot bend the +knee. You will never come to the Source of strength and be sent away +without a supply, for the fountain of God’s love is alike eternal and +inexhaustible. + +Before I finish this chapter, let me suggest a few short prayers for +your use. We are told ‘in everything, by prayer and supplication with +thanksgiving,’ to make our requests known unto God. We can bring the +little matters as well as the great things of our daily life, and +these words encourage us not only to ask but to supplicate, or beg +in earnest, that God will undertake for us. Also in asking for new +mercies, to remember past blessings, and to thank God for them, whether +spiritual or temporal ones. + +When we are dressing in the morning, we may say,-- + +‘O God, I thank Thee for quiet sleep and rest; for health, strength, +safety, friends, food and shelter; but most of all for the gift of Thy +dear Son, my Saviour.’ + +When commencing our daily work,-- + +‘O Lord, help me to do everything as for Thee. + +‘To take everything as from Thee. + +‘To use all I have for Thy glory.’ + +Through the day, and when in company with others,-- + +‘Help me to act as remembering that Thou God seest me. + +‘To speak as knowing that Thou hearest every word. + +‘Create in me a clean heart, O God, for Thou knowest my inmost thoughts +and desires.’ + +In time of temptation,-- + +‘Help me, O God, to be true and just in all my dealings, not forgetting +that for all my actions I must give an account unto Thee.’ + +If unjustly blamed or provoked,-- + +‘O blessed Saviour, help Thy servant to copy Thy example, and to be +like Thee, meek, lowly, patient under provocation, kind and ready to +forgive.’ + +If feeling helpless and ignorant,-- + +‘What I know not, teach Thou me.’ + +If disheartened at the commonness of the work we have to do,-- + +‘O my Father, if I can do but little, help me to do that little well. +If I have but one talent, enable me to use it for the good of others, +the welfare of my own soul, and, above all, for Thy glory.’ + +Then we should not only pray for ourselves, but as members of the +family we live in, for the parents, children, our fellow-servants and +absent friends, and as God’s children for all His family everywhere. + +However weary we may be at night, we may say these few words,-- + +‘O God, for Jesus’ sake forgive all I have done wrong during this day. +I thank Thee for all Thy good gifts, and pray that Thou wilt keep +me and all dear to me in peace and safety, through the hours of the +darkness.’ + +As a last thought, I would suggest that if the mistress will kneel with +her maid, and offer their united requests to God, incalculable benefits +would result to themselves and to the household in which they rule or +serve. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +THE LEGAL RIGHTS OF EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYED. + + +According to a learned writer the relationship of master and servant +is one founded on convenience, whereby a person is directed to call in +the assistance of others where his own skill and labour will not be +sufficient to answer the cares incumbent on him. It is a relationship +which has existed from time immemorial, though in olden times the +respective positions of a master and his servant were much more akin +to each other than they are in the present day. Of old the servant was +more in the position of a slave, whose life and body were entirely at +the disposal of his master, but as the age became more enlightened his +position improved. All traces of slavery in England vanished by the end +of the sixteenth century, and thenceforth the relation of master and +servant became one of pure contract. + +In the present day a servant may, therefore, be defined as ‘a person +who voluntarily agrees, either for wages or not, to subject himself +at all times during the period of service to the lawful orders and +directions of another in respect of certain work to be done.’ It +follows from this that a master is a person who is entitled to give +such orders and to have them obeyed. + +From the foregoing definition it will be seen that the term ‘servant’ +has a very extensive meaning, and includes every person who is under +the orders of another, no matter what his duties may be; but the +following lines have reference to domestic or household servants only. +Domestic servants are sometimes called menial servants, but there is a +distinction in the meaning of the two words. The word ‘menial’ has a +wider signification than the word ‘domestic,’ and includes it. Every +servant who at all times during the service is under the immediate +control, discipline, and management of his or her master or mistress, +and is liable also to attend their persons, is a menial servant; +whereas those only who form part of the family household are domestic +servants. There is no hard-and-fast rule as to who are domestic or +menial servants, but each case depends on its own circumstances. All +indoor servants whose duty it is to attend on their masters and perform +household acts are clearly menial and domestic servants, and this will +include a coachman or gardener living in a lodge or other separate +cottage, but it will not include a farm bailiff, though living in the +house. Neither is a governess a menial servant, from the position she +holds in the family of her employer and in society generally. + +The contract for the hire of a servant by a married woman as mistress +of her husband’s house is a good and binding one, and her husband will +in most cases be bound by it to pay the servant’s wages; for, although +it is the wife who actually engages the servant, and who will during +the service probably be the person to whom the servant will look for +her orders, still the wife only acts as her husband’s agent and by his +authority. This authority may be given expressly or may be implied by +circumstances. A servant, suitable to their degree in life, engaged and +hired by the wife can recover wages from the husband. Where a husband +and wife do not live together, it depends on the circumstances of the +case whether or not the husband is liable. For instance, if when living +apart the husband allows the wife sufficient means to enable her to +maintain herself in her proper position, he cannot be made liable for +the wages, nor can he where he has expressly forbidden his wife to hire +a servant, if the latter is aware of the fact. + +[As this chapter appears in a book devoted to matters of feminine +interest, the word ‘mistress’ will be used throughout the rest of it +instead of master, though the latter must be understood to be included +and for the same reason the servant will be referred to by words +indicative of the female sex, although the law laid down is equally +applicable to males.] + +With regard to the duration of the period of service, the contract of +hiring between a mistress and servant is deemed to be a general one, +and to last for the period of a year; and where there is no express +mention made of the time for which the hiring is to continue, or of +the time for giving notice, it is understood that the hiring is for a +year, but may be determined at any moment by either party giving to +the other a month’s notice, or warning, or a month’s wages in lieu of +notice. Where, however, the duration of the engagement is expressly +mentioned, the presumption that it is for a year is rebutted; and +where there is nothing to show that it is not intended to be a yearly +hiring, the payment of wages at short intervals, such as a fortnight +or a month, will not make it less a hiring to last for a year, nor +even the payment of wages by the week, where the engagement was to be +determined by a month’s notice. As before stated, it is a well-known +rule--founded solely on custom, however--that a contract of service may +be determined by either the mistress or servant giving to the other a +month’s notice, and at the expiration of this month, on the servant’s +leaving, she must be paid her full wages up to that time. + +The service may also be determined at a moment’s notice on payment +by the party giving the notice to the other of a sum equivalent to a +month’s wages. (These remarks do not apply to the case of a mistress +summarily dismissing a servant for misconduct, which subject will be +mentioned later on.) If a servant gives notice and leaves there and +then, she is entitled to be paid a proportionate part of the wages +accrued since the last day of payment up to the time of leaving, but +in return she must pay her mistress a month’s wages as compensation +for not serving the month out. If, however, a servant packs up her +boxes and goes away without saying anything about it, she utterly +forfeits all claim to any wages which have accrued since the last day +of payment, and cannot, after wilfully violating the contract according +to which she was hired, claim the sum to which her wages would have +amounted had she kept her contract, merely deducting therefrom one +month’s wages. + +Some persons may perhaps think this somewhat harsh, but it is +nevertheless the law, and, moreover, it is more consistent with honesty +and common-sense than to allow a servant to break a contract, and +at the same time claim a benefit under it, when upon simply giving +notice to the mistress and paying, or agreeing to allow the mistress +to deduct from the amount due to her, a month’s wages, she can leave +at any time. The distinction between leaving at a moment’s notice and +leaving without notice at all may seem to some perhaps rather fine, but +the practical effect of adhering to the strict letter of the law is +merely to compel a servant to give her mistress notice when she wants +to leave, which can be but little trouble to the servant, and will, in +most cases, save the mistress a good deal of unnecessary trouble and +inconvenience, and perhaps loss. So that if a servant is paid on the +first of each month, and on the fifteenth of the month she gives notice +to leave, she may go there and then, and the mistress must pay her the +amount of wages earned in those fifteen days; but the servant must pay +the mistress a full month’s wages as compensation for not staying the +month out. But if, instead of giving notice, the servant simply goes +away without saying a word, in that case the wages which had accrued +between the first and the fifteenth would be absolutely forfeited. + +The service is also put an end to by the death of the employer, and, +of course, by the death of the servant. If, therefore, a servant be +discharged on the death of the employer, she can claim and must be +paid wages from the time of the last payment up to the death. If, +however, the servant is kept on by the representatives of the deceased +to look after things, she will then be their servant, and they must pay +her. If a servant dies during the service, all wages due to her up to +the time of her death must be paid to her representatives, who may sue +for the same if withheld. + +One of the cases in which erroneous impressions frequently exist is as +to what will justify a mistress in summarily dismissing a servant. The +following are the principal grounds which will justify the discharge +of a servant at a moment’s notice:--1, Wilful disobedience to any +lawful order; 2, gross moral misconduct; 3, habitual negligence; 4, +incompetence or permanent incapacity from illness. + +As to wilful disobedience, if a servant will not obey a lawful order +she must suffer for her obstinacy. If a servant will persist in going +out, or standing at the street door, and such like, after having been +forbidden to do so, such conduct will justify instant dismissal. In one +case a female servant persisted in going out against her mistress’s +orders, though it was to visit a dying mother, and she was thereupon +dismissed. It was subsequently decided by the judges that such summary +dismissal was justifiable. This case is not quoted as an example to +others to do likewise, but simply to show under what circumstances +summary dismissal is justifiable. The mistress’s orders must be +confined to those services for which the servant was hired, and a mere +obstinate refusal to do some particular act will not justify dismissal, +the refusal must be persistent. + +Again, theft, immorality, drunkenness, and such like, all constitute +good grounds for discharging a servant. If a servant is grossly rude +and insolent, she may be at once dismissed; and if she is violent, and +uses abusive language to her mistress or one of the family, the latter +may send for a policeman and give her into custody. + +If a servant will not do her work, or is habitually negligent in it, +she may be sent away at once; but mere occasional neglect, which +does not cause injury, does not justify instant dismissal without +compensation. And, again, if a servant is hired for a particular +purpose, and proves utterly incompetent to perform it, this is a +good ground for discharge. For instance, if you engage a cook who +represents herself to be thoroughly proficient and highly trained +in the culinary art, and you pay her high wages, you will be quite +justified in dismissing her if she altogether fails to redeem her +profession in any essential particular. As a rule, however, it is +not safe to dismiss ordinary domestics without notice or payment of +wages for incompetence, for it is common knowledge that a great number +of servants offer themselves, and are hired to perform, services +which they are utterly incapable of rendering. Want of experience, +clumsiness, absence of skill and finish about their work must be +expected when untrained servants at low wages are hired, and must be +taken as part of the bargain, and it would be safe to dismiss only +in the higher branches of domestic service, when special knowledge +and skill are necessary, but are not forthcoming in the servant who +professed them, as in the case of the cook just mentioned. Of course, +when a servant is dismissed for any of the above offences, she forfeits +all claim to any wages which have accrued since the last day of +payment, in the same manner as if she left without notice. + +A temporary illness, with incapacity for work, is not a good ground +for discharging a servant unless the contract has been rescinded; but +permanent illness is a good ground for dismissal. The wages that have +been earned by the servant up to the time of the illness must be paid, +because it is no fault of hers that she cannot continue the service; +and unless the contract is put an end to, there is no suspension of the +right to wages because of her illness and incapacity to work. It may as +well be stated here that a servant cannot legally compel a master or +mistress to find her medicine when she is sick, or surgical attendance +when she has met with an accident, unless the illness or accident is +the direct result of fulfilling a lawful command. However, very slight +evidence will fix the master or mistress with liability, and it is +probable that if a servant were ill and sent for a medical man with the +master’s knowledge, the latter would have to pay for the attendance. +Indeed, in one case a servant was suddenly taken ill and sent for a +doctor, and on the matter subsequently coming to the master’s knowledge +he sent his own doctor. It was held that he was liable to pay the +surgeon called in by the servant, simply because his wife knew that he +had been called in, and did not express any disapprobation. + +Now as to character. No mistress is legally bound to give her domestic +or menial servant a character. It is, however, the duty of a mistress +to state fairly and honestly what she knows of a servant when applied +to by any one who may be about to take the servant into their employ; +and those who are about to employ them have a corresponding interest in +knowing the truth concerning them, so that they may be rightly informed +as to those who are coming to form part of their domestic household. +Masters and mistresses should be freely, unreservedly, and truthfully +out-spoken as to their opinion of those servants who have left their +service, not keeping back that which is unfavourable, nor speaking ill +of them, nor recklessly exaggerating their faults and shortcomings. +For while the law in the interests of society holds the communication +of the character of servants privileged, yet a deliberately stated +falsehood would be evidence of malice, and would tend to deprive the +communication of its privilege, and render the person making it liable +to an action at the suit of the servant. The mistress is in duty bound +to state not only what she knows of the servant at the time of her +discharge, but if she knows of any circumstance subsequently happening +of which the inquirer is entitled to be informed, also to tell further +what she conscientiously believes to be the case; therefore, if a good +character is at first given, and the mistress subsequently finds out +things unfavourable to the servant, it is her duty to communicate the +discovery to the person to whom the character has been given. + +Any communication made by a mistress as to the character of a +servant--no matter how damaging such a character may be--if fairly and +honestly made, is a privileged communication; that is to say, that +such communication will not render the mistress liable to any action +by the servant for slander. This privilege arises from the duty which, +as before stated lies upon all mistresses to state fully and fairly +the truth about a servant, whether in her favour or against her; and a +mistress, so long as she does not go out of her way to injure, need not +be afraid of telling the truth about the real character of any servant. +Any person knowingly giving a false character to another person about +to hire the servant, if the latter subsequently robs or injures his or +her master or mistress, is guilty of a criminal offence which renders +him liable to a penalty of £20, or three months’ imprisonment with hard +labour. But a false character _bonâ fide_ believed to be true will not +render the giver so liable. + +When a servant enters into the service of a mistress, it is her duty +to fulfil the engagement to the best of her ability; to be honest, +respectful, and diligent, to take due and proper care of her mistress’s +property, and to obey all lawful orders. These orders must be lawful +and within the scope of the employment for which the servant was hired; +and no servant is obliged to obey an order attended with risk; for +instance, a lady’s-maid would not be obliged to clean the scullery, and +such like. + +It is the duty of a master to supply a servant with proper food and +shelter, and to pay the wages agreed on between them. + +A master may not under any circumstances chastise a servant, no +matter how incorrigible. If they cannot agree, the servant must be +discharged. A master is not liable to a servant for any injuries +inflicted by fellow-servants in the ordinary discharge of their duty; +for a servant, when he or she engages to serve, impliedly undertakes +as between himself or herself and the employer to run all the risks of +the service. This branch of the law is, however, somewhat complicated, +and in case of an accident happening, the liability or non-liability of +the master or mistress would depend so much on the actual circumstances +of the particular case, that it is impossible, in a chapter of this +nature, to lay down any general rules bearing on the subject; and the +only safe course under such circumstances would be to lay the case +before a solicitor, and be guided by his advice. + +Lastly, as to the liability of a master or mistress for the acts of the +servant. + +The principle on which a master or mistress is liable for the actions +of their servant is that of agency. The mere relation of master and +servant does not invest the latter with a right to pledge the master’s +credit; and if the servant purchase goods on credit without the leave +of the master, no liability attaches to the latter. But if a master +holds out a servant as his authorized and accredited representative, +it is only right and just that he should accept responsibility for his +acts. For instance, where the master is in the habit of sending the +servant to buy goods upon credit, and is not in the habit of paying for +such goods at the time of buying, but on a particular occasion does +furnish the servant with money to pay for such goods, and the servant +either loses or steals the money, but orders the goods, the master is +liable, because the tradesman has been in the habit of supplying goods +on credit. But when the master is in the habit of supplying his servant +with money to pay cash down for the goods he orders, and the servant +steals or loses the money, but orders the goods, the master will not be +liable, because he has always been in the habit of sending the servant +with the money, and nothing but the master’s express authority to the +tradesman to supply the goods on credit will render him liable. + +In conclusion, it may be stated generally that a master is liable for +all the acts of a servant which come within the scope of the latter’s +employment, however wrongful and negligent such acts may be, but is +not responsible for the wrongful act of a servant unless that act be +done in the execution of the authority given by him in the course of +the employment, for beyond the scope of his employment he or she is as +much a stranger to the master as to any third person, and his or her +act cannot, therefore, be regarded as the act of the master. + + +THE END. + + +Butler & Tanner, The Selwood Printing Works, Frome, and London. + + + + +TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES + + +Adding missing closing quotation mark on page 117, after +“of wages.” + +Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been left unchanged. + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77633 *** diff --git a/77633-h/77633-h.htm b/77633-h/77633-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ef09310 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/77633-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4796 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> + <meta charset="UTF-8"> + <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1"> + <title> + Servants and service | Project Gutenberg + </title> + <link rel="icon" href="images/cover.jpg" type="image/x-cover"> + <style> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; 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+ visibility: hidden; + margin-left: -0.9em; +} + +.x-ebookmaker img.dropcap +{ + display: none; +} + +.x-ebookmaker p.dropcap:first-letter +{ + color: inherit; + visibility: visible; + margin-left: 0; +} + +.upper-case +{ + text-transform: uppercase; +} + +.oldenglish {font-family: "Old English Text MT", + "Engravers Old English BT", + "Old English", + "Collins Old English", + "New Old English", + serif; +} + +p.dropcap .hidden-chars { + color: transparent; + margin-left: -0.5em; +} + +.x-ebookmaker p.dropcap .hidden-chars { + color: inherit; + visibility: visible; + margin-left: 0; +} + +#half_title { + page-break-before: always; + page-break-after: always; + text-align: center; + font-size: large; + margin: 6em 0; +} + +/* Illustration classes */ +.illowp70 {width: 70%;} + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77633 ***</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</span></p> + + +<p id="half_title"> +SERVANTS AND SERVICE. +</p> + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_2"></a><a id="Page_3"></a>[Pg 3]</span></p> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<figure class="figcenter illowp70" id="i_title" style="max-width: 28em;"> + <img class="w100" src="images/i_title.png" alt="THE GIRL’S OWN +BOOKSHELF"> +</figure> + + + <h1 class="smcap" style="font-weight:normal">Servants and Service.</h1> + <p class="center" style="margin-top:6em;"> + <span style="font-size:small;">BY</span><br> + RUTH LAMB, + </p> + <p class="center" style="font-size:small;font-style: italic;"> + Author of ‘Only a Girl Wife,’ ‘Girls’ Work and Workshops,’ ‘One Little Vein<br> + of Dross,’ ‘Her Own Choice,’ etc., etc.<br> + </p> + <p class="center" style="margin-top:6em;"> + <span class="oldenglish">London</span>:<br> + THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY, + </p> + <p class="center"> + <span class="smcap">56, Paternoster Row; 65, St. Paul’s Churchyard;</span><br> + <span class="smcap">and 164, Piccadilly.</span> + </p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span></p> +</div> + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> + +<div class="chapter"> +<p class="center" style="margin-top:8em; margin-bottom:8em"> + <span class="smcap">Butler & Tanner,</span><br> + <span class="smcap">The Selwood Printing Works,</span><br> + <span class="smcap">Frome, and London.</span> +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span></p> +</div> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + <h2 class="nobreak" id="PREFACE"> + PREFACE. + </h2> +</div> + + +<p>Some years have elapsed since these chapters on +‘Servants and Service’ were first issued as a series in +the <i>Girl’s Own Paper.</i> I have reason to know, from +many subsequent communications, that they have +not been written in vain, but have proved useful to, +and been highly commended alike by, mistresses and +maids. Members of both classes have borne testimony +especially to the fairness with which a somewhat +difficult social question has been treated therein.</p> + +<p>Whilst rejoicing over the good results which have +already followed the serial publication of these papers, +I hope and pray that their re-issue as a volume may +greatly increase their usefulness.</p> + +<p>I must not omit to mention that I am not the +author of the appended chapter, No. XI., on ‘The +legal rights of employers and employed.’ It contains +most valuable information, but is contributed by +a writer much better informed on legal subjects than +I can claim to be.</p> + +<p class="right"> + <span class="smcap">Ruth Lamb.</span> +</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_6"></a><a id="Page_7"></a>[Pg 7]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CONTENTS"> + CONTENTS. + </h2> +</div> + + +<table class="autotable"> +<tr> +<td class="tdr"><small>CHAP.</small></td> +<td class="tdl"></td> +<td class="tdl"><small>PAGE</small></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">I.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Introductory</span></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">9</a><br></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">II.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Honourable Service</span></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">20</a><br></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">III.</td> +<td class="tdl">‘<span class="smcap">Hair-Splitters</span>’</td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">32</a><br></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">IV.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">In the Nursery</span></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">44</a><br></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">V.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Influence over Children. Bear and Forbear</span></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">55</a><br></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">VI.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Thoroughness. Economy of Time. Care of Property. Punctuality</span><br></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">68</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">VII.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">On Fault-finding, Giving Notice to Leave, and Giving Characters</span><br></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">81</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">VIII.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Dress. Visitors. Sympathy in Christian Work</span><br></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">96</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">IX.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Followers and Friends. Helps to Young Servants. Gifts from Visitors</span><br></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">108</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">X.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The One Source of Strength</span></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_X">135</a><br></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tdr vtop">XI.</td> +<td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The Legal Rights of Employers and Employed</span></td> +<td class="tdr vbottom"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">145</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="Page_8"></a><a id="Page_9"></a>[Pg 9]</span></p> + + + <p class="ph1 nobreak"> + SERVANTS AND SERVICE. + </p> +<hr class="r5"> + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_I"> + CHAPTER I. + <br> + <small>INTRODUCTORY.</small> + </h2> +</div> + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap1.png" width="59" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">A little</span> while ago I was wandering from factory +to factory, watching girls at work amongst +whirling spindles, clattering machinery, and +clinking hammers; wondering often that the young +creatures were not bewildered or permanently deafened +by the ceaseless noise which accompanied their +hours of toil; wondering still more at the varied +articles produced by girl-hands, and at the way in +which the comfort of persons in every rank of life +seems to depend upon, and be ministered to, by +what they do as outdoor workers.</p> + +<p>The comfort of the world at large, of the great +human family, is very greatly influenced by the girl-toilers +in these hives of industry. But how much +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span>more is the happiness of all the separate families +which go to make up the vast total, influenced by +the lives and conduct of those who actually serve +in the home itself, who fill the <i>honourable</i> and <i>responsible</i> +position of domestic servants.</p> + +<p>You who thus serve will, perhaps, think that I use +strong terms respecting your work and the place you +occupy. I mean to justify these expressions, and to +show you how truly important is that work, how high +is your position, when measured by the vast trust +which employers are compelled to repose in the girls +whom they receive into their homes as servants.</p> + +<p>I have been the mistress of a house for a great +many years, and yet, considering that I have usually +had four female servants at once, I have not had +a large number in the whole time. The reason is +that very few have left our home except to start in +houses of their own, or from some equally satisfactory +cause, and usually after a long term of service. +Also, that when circumstances have rendered it necessary +for a servant to leave us, it has been the +rule for the family and herself to part with feelings +of mutual regret and goodwill. It is always a +pleasure for us to welcome under our roof those who +have served us faithfully, and to hear of their well-being.</p> + +<p>I have had only one thoroughly bad servant—but +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span>she was a systematically bad woman, who would +have wrought mischief in whatever position of life +she might have occupied. Ignorance of household +routine, and inexperience in the performance of +certain duties, may easily be corrected wherever a +servant is able and willing to learn, and a mistress +to bestow time and pains in teaching her.</p> + +<p>It makes me glad as I write to think that I both +have had, and still have, servants whom I regard as +dear friends; who have proved themselves sympathetic +and self-devoting in various seasons of sickness, +and when extra labour and watching were +needed; who have been true helpers and comforters +to all around them.</p> + +<p>Some, too, have been associated with me in Christian +work, and have deemed themselves more than +repaid for any additional labour which has thus +devolved upon them, by the happiness that accompanies +the very act of good-doing for Christ’s +sake.</p> + +<p>I think of such servants as these not only with +pleasure, but with the deepest thankfulness. With +all my heart I desire to thank God for such service, +and for the sense of family comfort and safety which +has been one of its happy consequences in my own +home.</p> + +<p>I am sure every girl who occupies the position of +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span>a domestic servant will agree with me, that it is a +good thing when a mistress can kneel down and +thank Our Father in heaven, for the great family +blessing He has sent her in the shape of a faithful +servant. Equally so when a girl, coming a stranger +into a new home, can thankfully feel that she too is +regarded, not as a human machine to be sent away +as soon as she breaks down, and, once out of sight, +out of mind also; but as a member of the family, +to be cared for by the rest both in regard to health +of soul and body—and most of all by the mistress as +‘house-mother.’</p> + +<p>I wonder whether servants and mistresses generally +understand what the word ‘family’ means. I have +alluded to each servant as a member of the family, +but I know that people usually take a much narrower +view of its meaning, and think it should be confined +strictly to those who are united by the ties of +kindred.</p> + +<p>The word is used in several senses in our language, +but the one which takes the lead is as follows:—‘Family. +The collective body of persons who +live in one house and under one head or manager +of a household, <i>including parents, children, and servants</i>.’</p> + +<p>So you see, dear girls who serve in other homes +than those of your parents, you are none the less +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span>members of the family into which you enter, though +your actual place and work in it differ from those +of the parents and children. But if you claim to be +of the family, you must remember that the very +privilege brings also responsibility.</p> + +<p>It forbids the putting of self in the first rank, and +binds you to consider the well-being, convenience, +and comfort of every member of the household, at +least equally with your own; to work and think +for the common good, <i>because you also are of the +family</i>.</p> + +<p>Notice how the Bible recognises this. Read +through the Ten Commandments, and see what +individuals are named in those rules given by God +Himself, for the government of the human race. +Here they are, following each other: Father and +mother, son and daughter, man-servant and maid-servant.</p> + +<p>Not many pictures of girl life are to be found +in the pages of Holy Writ. We catch glimpses now +and then of Rebekah and Rachel and the daughters +of Jethro tending their flocks, and watering them +from the precious and jealously guarded wells. +These show us something of their occupations out +of doors, of their readiness—ladies though they were—to +serve the stranger and wait on the weary +traveller. But the curtains of the tent are rarely +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span>lifted sufficiently to give us even a peep at the girls +within, whether young mistresses or waiting damsels, +when employed in household duties.</p> + +<p>Ruth has a whole book given to her and her +family. But we only see her for the first time in +her widowhood, and when she has been ten years +a wife. Esther has a still longer book, but in her +story is involved the fate of a nation of captives.</p> + +<p>But there is a little picture given in another place, +and I never read it without thinking how delightful +it must be to every young servant, to look upon this +word-sketch of the little captive maid who waited +upon Naaman’s wife.</p> + +<p>It tells so much in so few words. It shows us the +girl, far away from her home and her kindred, a +stranger in a strange land—yet full of sympathy +with her mistress, realizing that she is one of the +family, and anxious to do good to its afflicted and +suffering head.</p> + +<p>Putting away the memory of her own wrongs, she +would fain direct her master to him at whose word, +she believed, the loathsome disease would vanish +and Naaman be made whole.</p> + +<p>This little servant maid must have remembered +her own home and friends, because she could speak +of the miracle-working prophet in her own land. A +revengeful girl would have rejoiced in her master’s +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span>affliction. A selfish one would have made terms, and +only told of the healer on condition of being restored +to her own friends.</p> + +<p>This young servant girl did neither. She uttered +a wish which was also a prayer on behalf of him who +held her captive: ‘Would God my lord were with +the prophet that is in Samaria! for he would recover +him of his leprosy.’</p> + +<p>Though she was in such a humble position, she +had gained a character for truth. Her mistress durst +speak after her! A king durst write a letter, send +an embassy, and despatch an offering of enormous +value, in sole reliance on the word of the little foreign +servant.</p> + +<p>Her master, a great and powerful general, the +mighty man of valour, and conqueror in many a +battle, set out on a journey with a heart full of hope, +because he could believe the wish she had uttered +was sincere, and that she was convinced of the +prophet’s power and will to heal him.</p> + +<p>Only a story contained in three verses of the Bible, +but how much it tells! What a beautiful character +it reveals! A young servant girl, truthful and +trusted; forgiving and doing good to her captors; +realizing that she was one of that family in which she +served; forgetting self in her sympathy with suffering; +repaying the kindness and confidence of her +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span>mistress, not merely by faithful service, but by +heartiest goodwill.</p> + +<p>Ah! you who serve in the homes of others, well +may you rejoice to think that one in a like position +is the heroine of this delightful Bible story. May +you in reading it take home all its sweet lessons, +and in your own narrower circle, and perhaps a far +humbler household, imitate the example, and reproduce +the disposition shown by the little Israelitish +maiden when a captive in a strange land.</p> + +<p style="margin-top: 4em;">Probably many a young, ay, and old woman too, +looks back upon her girlish days in service, and +recalls the period she spent under one particular roof +as a turning-point in her life for good or evil. If the +former, she will lift up her heart in thanksgiving as +memories of wise, loving counsel and patient teaching +come before her mind’s eye.</p> + +<p>Some, perhaps, are still in situations, and regularly +and habitually doing their daily work as if the eye +of the mistress was always present. Each thinks of +one who, in bygone days, was the means of making +her the valuable servant she is, by dint of much +careful training and painstaking when she went, a +mere girl and very ignorant, to her first place. She +knows that the seeds sown by that hand have +brought forth in herself the fruits of regularity, order, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span>neatness, cleanliness, and punctuality; and that truth +and honesty, if not planted, were fostered and encouraged +by that true friend and experienced +mistress.</p> + +<p>Perhaps she remembers, too, that in those early +days the patient teacher did not always find a +patient scholar; that the lessons which were given +for her good were often little valued—sometimes +even resented as the acts of a fidgety, worriting, +too-particular mistress whom nothing could satisfy.</p> + +<p>She knows better now, and rejoices that she fell +into hands equally firm and kind. But the memory +of her own little tempers and impatience under +training makes her, let us hope, more patient and +forbearing with other young girls who are in turn +placed under her, to be similarly instructed.</p> + +<p>I fancy I hear a chorus of young voices cry out, +‘It is all very well for you to say we should be particular +about the places we take, but we cannot +always choose from a number. Often our very bread +depends on our getting a situation. If we are unable +to get what we want, we must take what we can get.’</p> + +<p>Quite true. Yet it is not often that a girl who is +worth having has to leave a situation at less than a +month’s notice, so that she has always some time to +look about her and make inquiries.</p> + +<p>Shall I tell you my recipe for getting a good +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span>servant? It will be just as useful to you in securing +a good place. <i>It is prayer</i>, as well as the use of +ordinary means. Whenever a servant has been +about to leave us, it has been the custom for my +husband and myself to kneel together and ask God +to guide us in the choice of a successor. We felt +that the peace of our home, the well-being of our +family, and perhaps even more than all, that an +important influence on the minds and manners of +our little ones would depend upon the new-comer. +Was it not, then, worth while to ask God’s guidance +and blessing? If good for master and mistress, +surely it must be equally so for the girl who seeks +work and a home amongst strangers.</p> + +<p>Do not take a place where you cannot have +Sunday privileges. A widowed mother, herself in +service, applied for a situation for her young +daughter. She returned disappointed in one sense, +but not in another.</p> + +<p>‘Jane could have had the place, and good wages; +but when I named the going to church on Sundays, +the lady said Sunday was always her day for company, +and she could spare none of her servants to +go out. She would give her another day instead. +I told her this would not suit my girl,’ said the poor +mother, who had much cause for anxiety about +employment for her child. ‘I had all my life tried +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span>to train her in the faith and fear of God, and +specially taught her to value and remember to keep +holy the Sabbath day. I dare not go against my +own teaching and conscience, come what may. I +must trust; the Lord will provide.’</p> + +<p>And He did provide. The mother’s prayers were +not in vain; her faith was not disappointed. Pray, +then, for guidance, dear girls. You will not ask in +vain; but I believe you will be answered by having +good homes and good mistresses, as my husband and +I have been, in having good servants sent to us from +time to time.</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_II"> + CHAPTER II. + <br> + <small>HONOURABLE SERVICE.</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap2.png" width="29" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">In</span> my former chapter I called the position of a +domestic servant an <i>honourable</i> and <i>responsible</i> +one, and I will now give my reasons for using +these two words. I wonder whether many young +girls who serve in the household have considered +how very much they are trusted. Perhaps they +never crossed the threshold of the home in which +they have obtained a situation until the very day +on which they enter upon its duties; and yet from +the very moment that the young stranger girl enters +the house, she is of necessity taken more into the +family confidence than any outsider can possibly be.</p> + +<p>She knows all about the going out and coming in +of every member of the family. In many cases she +sees and hears what even the children, especially +the younger ones, are not permitted to know.</p> + +<p>In the performance of her various duties, when +waiting at table and elsewhere, she overhears conversations +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span>which speakers would not like to have +repeated. She cannot help, in like manner, being +acquainted with numbers of little family secrets that +are never intended to pass beyond the walls of the +home—things that would not be told even to friends, +except in the strictest confidence.</p> + +<p>Yet the master, mistress, and children receive the +stranger girl, often knowing very little about her +family and of herself, only so much as can be +gleaned during half an hour’s talk, or, it may be, +a short letter from a former employer—just a +sheet of paper with a few formally written answers +to a few set questions, such as relate to the work +of that particular situation she wishes to undertake. +The future mistress has probably asked how the +girl has done her work in her last place; whether +she is cleanly, honest, truthful, obliging, and so on.</p> + +<p>In many cases the information is given by one of +whom we know little more than we do of the girl +respecting whose character we inquire. And there +are always far more important questions than those +alluded to, which are never asked, and if they were, +would seldom be explicitly answered. Yet, on the +strength of that brief written recommendation, or +after half an hour’s conversation, we take a girl into +our home, and place in her hands a very large +share of its comfort and safety. She is allowed to +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span>see and to know all the little household details +which are hidden even from our nearest friends.</p> + +<p>We exact from our girl domestics no pledge of +confidence, no promise not to betray our trust by +gossiping about what they hear or see; what, indeed, +they <i>must</i> witness, unless we are to live in a state +of unnatural restraint, and make the entrance of our +servants a signal for silence! Such a state of things +would be equally trying to them, to our guests, and +to ourselves.</p> + +<p>If I were a girl in a situation, I hope I should feel +‘upon honour’ with regard to these things. I should +like to be able to say, ‘I am glad and thankful to +be trusted, and, by God’s help, I will try to merit +the confidence which my master and mistress place +in me. I may not be bound by any promise to +them, but I am bound far more firmly by my sense +of what is right, by the witness of my own conscience, +and by the thought of what I should like if I were +in their places. No one shall ever be able to blame +me for tale-telling, or gossiping about their concerns. +I may be a young servant, but if I am a Christian +girl, the same spirit should animate me that inspires +the greatest lady in the land. I, if I understand +the teaching of God’s Word aright, am bound by +the same laws in my position as my mistress is in +hers.’</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span></p> + +<p>To be above the meanness which would screen +itself from blame as a tattler, because no promise of +silence has been given, is as becoming to the servant +as it is to the mistress. To be true, not merely in +word, but in heart and in act, is as incumbent upon +the servant who professes to be a Christian as it is +upon the heads of the household, and why?</p> + +<p>Because in God’s Word you are bidden to perform +your duties ‘in singleness of your heart as unto +Christ; not with eye-service as men-pleasers, but +as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God +from the heart; with goodwill doing service as to +the Lord, and not to men. Knowing that whatsoever +good thing any man doeth, the same shall he +receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.’</p> + +<p>Employers are also reminded that their ‘Master +also is in heaven, neither is there respect of persons +with Him.’</p> + +<p>The same law, you see, both for employers and +employed. All have to give an account to the same +Master, before whom neither rank, riches, nor +position will avail anything. The question which +concerns all of us alike is this, ‘What sort of an +account can I give of the way in which I have done +my duty in the place which, in the good providence +of God, I have been called on to fill?’</p> + +<p>If it becomes the mistress to be above tattling +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span>and meanness, to be true in word and deed, to be +self-denying and considerate of the feelings of others, +to be pure in speech and in life, to be careful as to +the persons with whom she associates, surely all +these things are equally essential to the young +servant! To the latter it often happens that her +good character is her fortune, that on it she depends +for the very bread she eats and the roof which +shelters her. Even if she did not, ‘A good name is +rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving +favour rather than silver and gold.’</p> + +<p>People say there is a skeleton in every house; it +is the same thing as saying that there is no home +without some secret sorrow that the owner would +shrink from letting the world see. Well, if any of +you dear girls know where the skeleton is, say to +yourselves, ‘My hand shall never draw the curtain +that hides it, or open the door of the cupboard in +which it is concealed.’</p> + +<p>This is the right way in which to look at one of +the responsibilities of your position. You may make +it doubly honourable by your own conduct, and by +the manner in which you show that you not only +<i>must</i> be trusted, but that you deserve to be.</p> + +<p>Unfortunately we do not find that all girls act +up to such a high standard as this. We have all +known some who have been faithful enough so long +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span>as a thoroughly good understanding existed between +them and their employers. But perhaps something +has gone wrong, and a disagreement has arisen +between the girl and her mistress.</p> + +<p>A sharp reproof has called forth an angry retort, +and the ‘I’m-as-good-as-you’ sort of spirit has got +into the young mind. Either mistress or maid gives +a month’s notice, and with the prospect of parting +comes an entire change in the relations of the +parties concerned.</p> + +<p>Sometimes the girl acts defiantly and disrespectfully. +She forgets the many marks of kindness and +confidence she has received, the peace and comfort +she has enjoyed under that roof, and acts with a +meanness and littleness that are unworthy of any +girl, especially one who calls herself a Christian. +In the spirit of revenge, and with a desire to +‘serve out’ her employers, she will call to mind all +the little domestic matters which she knows they +would least like to have gossiped about, and will +prove equally false to them, and to the pleadings of +her own heart and conscience.</p> + +<p>When the fit of temper is over, probably the girl +sees the ugliness and treachery of her conduct, and +would fain stop the ball she has set rolling. But +this is not easy. It continues to roll, and increases +with every turn. She has done an amount of +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span>mischief which she can scarcely calculate, has broken +faith, destroyed the effect produced by years of +faithful service, and is branded as deceitful and +ungrateful by the mistress who may have reproved +with sharpness, yet who heartily wishes well to her +young helpers in the household.</p> + +<p>I will not dwell upon this picture. I do not like +it, and I hope that every girl who reads this paper +will think it as ugly as I do, and resolve that it shall +never be reflected in her own conduct.</p> + +<p>I have a few more words to say both about +entering on situations and engaging servants. Indeed, +these chapters relate equally to employers +and employed; for while I commenced by addressing +myself especially to those who serve, I cannot write +of them without including those who rule, and more +especially the young mistresses. These have frequently +nearly everything to learn when they assume +the reins of domestic government at the commencement +of their married life.</p> + +<p>To the mistress I would say, ‘Try to ascertain +something not only about the girl you think of +engaging, but about her parents, her home, and +general surroundings.’</p> + +<p>I one day heard a gentleman speak of the manner +in which he engaged a very young girl to fill a +vacancy caused by the marriage of an old and much-valued +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span>servant. He lived at a distance from town, +and had a very delicate wife, who was unequal to the +task of seeing and choosing from amongst the many +candidates for the vacant post.</p> + +<p>The place was known to be a good one. The +home was delightful in itself, the habits of the family +were regular, wages satisfactory, the servants enjoyed +many Christian privileges, and master and mistress +took a warm interest in their welfare. There was +rarely a vacancy, and on this particular occasion +there were many very experienced servants amongst +the applicants. Yet the gentleman who saw them +at his office in the city, and made all the inquiries, +finally decided on engaging a girl of eighteen to fill +the place of one who had been more than half that +number of years in the situation.</p> + +<p>Much surprise was expressed at his decision, but +he was quite able to justify it.</p> + +<p>‘I was struck,’ said he, ‘with the beautiful neatness +of the girl’s dress. I was sure that she was not got +up for the occasion; but all about her was suggestive +of habitual purity and tidiness, and her clothing, +though good and clean, bore traces of careful wear. +It had evidently been used for some time, but well +used. I was further struck with her modesty of +manners and propriety of speech. She told me +frankly that she had no one but her mother to refer +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span>me to for her character, as regarded the work itself. +She was the eldest of a family, and had never been +in service; but the second girl would now be able to +take her place, and there were too many of them for +all to be maintained at home by the father’s earnings. +She knew things would be very different in such a +house as mine; but mother had always made her do +her work well, and she was willing to learn. Would +I try her and give her wages according to what she +was worth? Father and mother were much more +particular about the family she went into than about +the money. Would I see “mother” before I fixed +on any one, and her own Sunday-school teacher +too?</p> + +<p>‘I could not help thinking, whilst the girl spoke—pleaded +indeed, in her honest, innocent way, for a +trial—that she had in her the making of a first-class +servant. I agreed to see “mother,” but fixed no +time for my call, and I made it during the morning.</p> + +<p>‘The sight of that orderly home and its busy +occupants was better than any number of written +characters. There was no running away to make +herself presentable, but the girl came forward with a +smiling face, and looking just as neat in her working +dress as she had done in her outdoor garments.</p> + +<p>‘I had made some inquiries about the family, and +found that the parents were God-fearing people, and +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span>extremely particular about the training and associates +of their children. So I engaged Eliza, aged eighteen, +to fill the place of the departed Anne, aged thirty; +and I and mine had cause to be thankful for the +decision which brought into our house an excellent +servant, a warm-hearted, pure-minded girl. She was +thorough in her work, and what she did not know at +first she was quick to learn, because her heart was +in it, and she honestly desired not only to do enough +to satisfy, but her very best.</p> + +<p>‘The mother made one remark which amused me a +little at the time. “I am so glad you are willing to +engage Eliza,” she said. “I am quite content for her +to come to you, for I made most particular inquiries +about your place before I sent the girl to see about +it.”</p> + +<p>‘The good woman meant it as a compliment, and I +understood and appreciated it. I like “my place” to +have a good name; but some lady friends tossed their +heads, and said, “What an impertinent speech! to +intimate that she had inquired into your character!”’</p> + +<p>And very proper too. Every girl that values her +own character should be anxious to serve under the +roof of a master and mistress who fear God, and who, +caring for their own immortal souls, are likely to +care for the bodies and souls of all around them +also.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span></p> + +<p>I had two sisters from one family, and when, after +seven years’ united service, the second left by her +father’s wish to learn a business, I wrote and asked +for the only remaining daughter, a girl who had +never left home to take a situation, and whom I had +never seen. I frankly told the parents that, after +my experience of their mode of training daughters, +I would rather take one who had thus been brought +up in the faith and fear of God, though comparatively +ignorant, than the most accomplished servant without +such home-training.</p> + +<p>I received a grateful reply, accepting the offer and +returning hearty thanks for the comforts and Christian +privileges enjoyed by the elder sisters whilst under +our roof.</p> + +<p>Number three duly arrived, and—well, perhaps if +I say that she came more than fourteen years ago, +and is here yet, nothing more need be added. To the +act that we have considered Christian training as +of greater importance than mere skill in household +duties, my husband and I attribute much of the +comfort and happiness we have enjoyed in regard +to those domestic arrangements that depend upon our +servants’ work and character.</p> + +<p>To you, dear girls, I would say, ‘Be more anxious +to serve those who themselves serve the Lord Christ,’ +and will allow you the religious privileges of which +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span>they know the value, than to obtain a situation where +a mistress is indulgent because indifferent, or for the +sake of easy work or high wages.</p> + +<p>In seeking employers, determine to put your +Heavenly Master’s service first of all. If you serve +Him well, no fear that you will fail in your duty to +them. Remember that He said, ‘I am among you +as He that serveth;’ that He found His joy in +doing the will of the Father, and that He ‘who, +being in the form of God,’ yet, for our sakes, ‘took +upon Him the form of a servant, humbled Himself, +and became obedient unto death.’</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_III"> + CHAPTER III. + <br> + <small>‘HAIR-SPLITTERS.’</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap3.png" width="29" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">I have</span> alluded to the fact that the word ‘family’ +includes the servants of a household; but I am +inclined to think that they are more slow to +realize their position as such than even their employers +are.</p> + +<p>When inquiring about the work pertaining to a +situation, they are often so very particular to have +the duties of the place defined with the utmost exactness. +‘Shall I be expected to do this?’ or, ‘In my +last place, I was never asked to do that;’ ‘I like +to know what my work is to be, and then I’ve no +doubt I shall do it to the satisfaction of all parties,’ +are expressions common enough when mistress and +maid are arranging terms.</p> + +<p>It is no doubt advisable so to plan the work of +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span>a house that each servant, where there are two or +more, may know what is her share, and do it. The +wheels of the domestic chariot would soon stick +fast, and confusion reign instead of order, if things +were left to arrange themselves.</p> + +<p>There is, however, a vast difference between taking +and doing the work allotted to us in a narrow, +selfish spirit, or with the large-hearted kindness +which should distinguish the servants of Christ. In +the one case there is a continual hair-splitting going +on, and when the smallest service which was not +actually bargained for is required, we hear that hateful +expression, ‘<i>It’s not my place.</i>’ ‘I came here to +be housemaid—not to do cook’s work.’ Or, ‘If you +had mentioned that, when Sarah has her day out, +you would expect me to look after the children, I +should have known what to do,’ is said to the +mistress in an injured tone, or, worse still, <i>at +her</i>, as the damsel goes grumbling about the +house.</p> + +<p>These ‘hair-splitting servants,’ as I cannot help +calling them, who are always stickling for ‘rights’ +and going more than half-way to meet wrongs and +grievances, know nothing of the true family feeling, +and are equally unpleasant people for mistresses and +fellow-servants to deal with. The former are wearied +with perpetual complaints—the latter are often +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span>rendered so uncomfortable by the nagging, exacting, +and self-asserting spirit of the individual who is +always on the bristle in defence of her <i>place</i> and +her <i>right</i>, that they will leave a good home rather +than endure her companionship.</p> + +<p>I will try to make my meaning plainer still.</p> + +<p>The ‘hair-splitter’ has perhaps been called into +the sitting-room to speak to her mistress. She +leaves it again whilst the parlour-maid is clearing +the table. She <i>could</i> save the latter a journey by +carrying out one or two of the heavier articles, and +would cause herself no extra trouble by so doing. +But, ‘No thank you,’ our ‘hair-splitter’ knows her +place. Let the waitress mind her own business—she +will not be asked to do any part of hers. And so +she marches out of the room empty-handed, and +is satisfied that in so doing she is keeping her +place.</p> + +<p>Perhaps some one in the house is an invalid, +and requires to be waited on in her own apartment. +All who know anything of sick-nursing +can tell how many journeys up and down stairs +are necessarily made, how many weary steps must +be taken by those who minister to a sufferer’s comfort.</p> + +<p>Usually, I believe, the servants are found willing +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span>to take a full share of the extra work entailed by +illness, and manifest their sympathy in the most +practical way, by doing it ungrudgingly and uncomplainingly. +Often they will voluntarily give up +all the little privileges so precious to those whose +work lies wholly indoors, and ‘stay in when it is +their turn to go out,’ rather than cause inconvenience—all +but the ‘hair-splitter.’ She has bargained +for certain things, and she will have them. +She never came to be a sick-nurse, but to do +regular work in her own place. She will go up +and down stairs with empty hands, though it would +be no effort for her to carry up the box of coal +which she knows to be wanted, or to bring down +little articles which the attendant in the sick-room +has put outside on the landing, until she can leave +the invalid for a few minutes to carry them down +herself.</p> + +<p>Our ‘hair-splitter’ disdains to lend a hand outside +her own circle, and, let who may give up the day +out, she will exact hers and every other privilege +that she can claim, no matter who may suffer inconvenience.</p> + +<p>‘I keep to my bargain; let other people keep to +theirs. I do my work that I engaged for; that is +enough for me. I keep my place; let the rest keep +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span>theirs,’ says the ‘hair-splitter;’ and she holds up her +head, and defies anybody to say a word to the +contrary.</p> + +<p>Perhaps she speaks the literal truth, and she may +be a thorough servant in her own department; but +she is only a hireling, and has no part or lot in or +with the family in that higher sense to which I have +alluded. And, oh! how little does such a one realize +the yet deeper, holier union and sympathy which +must subsist between those who are members of the +family of God, who, like the Divine Head, Christ +Jesus, find it their joy to help the helpless, comfort +the sorrowing, to strive, in ever so humble a way, +to bear one another’s burdens, and so to fulfil the +law of Christ.</p> + +<p>If a member of the family, she will ‘rejoice with +those who do rejoice, and weep with those who +weep.’</p> + +<p>There will be no ‘hair-splitting,’ no talk about +rights; but the true-hearted servant, who in all +her dealings with earthly employers acknowledges +her Divine Master, will above all things strive to +follow His example. It will not be a question, +‘How little can I do?’ but, ‘How can I best contribute +to the happiness of each and all under the +roof? How can I lighten the load of, or make the +work easier for, my fellow-servant?’</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span></p> + +<p>In numberless ways the willing mind and kindly +heart will find that this can be done without any +additional effort or weariness to the thoughtful helper. +But even if it do cost an extra effort or a few more +steps to save still more of both to a tired fellow-servant, +never mind. They will be well bestowed. +And if done for the Heavenly Master’s sake, the +reward will come in the present happiness which a +consciousness of doing right always brings with it. +Those who practise self-devoting kindness in their +intercourse with others experience a joy unknown +to the ‘hair-splitter,’ who triumphs in having successfully +claimed her ‘rights’ and in keeping her +place.</p> + +<p>Now for a few words on the subject of good +manners.</p> + +<p>I have said that a servant may be as truly +a gentlewoman in manners as the mistress she +serves; but in order to merit the name, she must +never forget the respect and obedience she owes to +those who employ her. The ‘I’m-as-good-as-you’ +sort of spirit is always a mark of—I was going to +say—a vulgar mind. I will take higher ground. It +is unworthy of the disciple of Him who said, ‘Learn +of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye +shall find rest unto your souls.’</p> + +<p>The injunctions in God’s Word with regard to the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span>manners and conduct of servants towards their employers +are particularly plain and unmistakable. +Fidelity, honesty, hearty service, and obedience are +enjoined again and again. Equally so good manners, +though not in these exact words.</p> + +<p>It is no doubt very trying for a grown-up girl or +woman to be reproved in sharp, unmeasured terms, +and more especially in the presence of others. But +if (by God’s grace) she is enabled to conquer the +inclination to reply rudely and to give, instead, the +soft answer which turns away wrath, even when she +feels that she has been unreasonably dwelt with, she +gains a double conquest. She vanquishes the rising +of sinful passion, preserves her own self-respect, and +probably wins the goodwill of her mistress also, +besides knowing that she has remembered the Divine +rule: ‘Servants, be subject to your masters with all +fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to +the froward. If, when ye do well, and suffer for +it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with +God.’</p> + +<p>You see, then, dear girls, that you are not to +forget, even under difficult and trying circumstances, +the respect due from those who serve to those who +rule in the house. The tossing of the head, the +heavy or bouncing step, the loud or pert answer, the +slamming of doors, the throwing things violently +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span>down, and the going grumbling about the house, +saying things <i>at</i> the mistress which you would be +afraid or ashamed to say <i>to</i> her, are all marks of +vulgarity and little-mindedness, which every girl who +has any self-respect will avoid. And, whilst rather +calculated to inspire contempt for the childishness +of those who act in this unreasoning, foolish fashion, +than to produce any effect on those whom they are +intended to annoy, they are also utterly unworthy of +every girl or woman who professes to be a servant +of Christ.</p> + +<p>The commands, ‘Be kind, be pitiful, be courteous,’ +were not meant for mistresses only, or for +the rich and those who fill high places in this +world, but for people of all ages and of every +position. It is not the possession of riches, which +perhaps those who own them have done nothing +to win; or the bearing of an old name, ennobled +by the grand lives of those who bore it in bygone +ages; not the high position occupied in this world, +or even all three combined, which can entitle any +human being to the name of gentleman or gentlewoman.</p> + +<p>Thank God! those who occupy the humblest +positions can <i>merit</i> the names, though they may not +claim them. If, in fulfilling our various duties, we +yield ourselves to the guidance and teaching of God’s +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span>Holy Spirit, and strive by our lives to adorn the +doctrine of God our Saviour in all things, living +soberly, righteously, and godly, showing ourselves +kind, forbearing, tender-hearted, forgiving, observing +the golden rule, spreading as much happiness and +saving as much pain as we can, we shall reap a +glorious harvest of peace within and goodwill from +all around us.</p> + +<p>Believe me, dear girls, none so well deserve the +names of gentleman and gentlewoman as do those +whose lives best reflect that of their great pattern, +Christ Jesus. And better by far than all the other +books in the world is the Bible itself for teaching +good manners.</p> + +<p>Before concluding this chapter, I will briefly +suggest a few of the <i>advantages of domestic service</i>. +Some girls think that the privileges are all on the +side of the outdoor workers, that the mill-hand, +machinist, the dressmaker, and the young shopwoman +have an amount of freedom from personal restraint +which those in service cannot enjoy. Let us look +more closely into this, as also into the matter of +wages.</p> + +<p>Really the outdoor worker has in many cases less +time at her disposal than the domestic servant, and +her average gains are less also. A servant with +good health and character need never be unemployed, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span>as the demand for such is generally in excess +of the supply. She has no slack times, like nearly +all other workers, employment and wages being +regular the year round in her case.</p> + +<p>Her situation is not affected by a sudden change +of fashion, which will often throw nearly all the +workers in a particular branch out of situations, and +compel them to learn some new business by which +they may earn their bread.</p> + +<p>The domestic servant has in many cases the advantage +of living in a far more comfortable home, +and of being better fed and cared for. She has less +anxiety about ways and means than the outdoor +worker. For the latter a slack time indicates the loss +of wages, perhaps for weeks together; and unless +girls have been very prudent and careful, it means +also a season of privation to themselves, if they +cannot turn their hands to something else in the +meanwhile.</p> + +<p>The wages may seem less. Are they really +so?</p> + +<p>Supposing an outdoor worker has sixteen shillings +a week, and this is a very high average, and that +she does not lose a day’s pay in twelve months, she +is certainly no better off than the domestic servant +with six shillings. Out of the sixteen the outdoor +worker has to pay for lodgings, food, and fire. Could +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span>she for ten shillings a week live in the same comfort +as does a domestic servant in a well-ordered +home?</p> + +<p>Then the latter has no coming through the streets +unprotected, and in all weathers; and, in the quiet +round of household duties, she is exposed to far +fewer temptations than the outdoor worker. (The +exceptions are in the cases of girls who live under +their parents’ roof, and are cared for by a watchful, +loving, and judicious mother.)</p> + +<p>Moreover, the employment of the domestic servant +is not nearly so monotonous as that of the factory +hand, or so wearying as that of the young shopwoman +who stands behind the counter for many +hours at a time. She has less anxiety than even +those under whose roof she lives, knowing nothing +of consultations about making ends meet, or of fears +when quarter-day comes round.</p> + +<p style="margin-top: 4em;">Lastly, the domestic servant is not the ‘hand’ of +whom often the employer knows less than he does +of the machine she tends, but one who is in constant +communication with father, mother, and children +under the roof—in short, as I have already asserted, +she is one of the family, and necessarily trusted as +such.</p> + +<p>I may add that the law affords the latter very +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span>special protection in the matter of wages, domestic +servants being paid in full when other creditors often +have to accept only a portion of what is due to +them, or what is called a composition.</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_IV"> + CHAPTER IV. + <br> + <small>IN THE NURSERY.</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap4.png" width="30" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">It</span> is a somewhat remarkable fact that the younger +the servant employed, the greater and more +precious is the first charge usually placed in her +hands. I mean, of course, the baby, with occasionally +two or three other small children in addition.</p> + +<p>To nurse the one and keep the other out of mischief +is generally deemed the fitting occupation for +the little maid, herself a mere child when she first +goes out to service. The young hands that are too +unsteady to be trusted with such fragile articles as +glass and crockery, lest these should suffer damage, +too unskilled in household matters to be esteemed of +much value in the cleaning and scrubbing department, +are deemed quite competent to hold the baby +and act as caretaker to the whole juvenile brood.</p> + +<p>Often the busy, notable mother of a family will +say, when speaking of a child-servant, ‘I cannot let +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span>her help in the house-work. She would only make +more labour than she would save; would dirty more +than she would clean; break more things by clumsiness +and carelessness than her wages would pay for. +I can get through much more quickly by myself, and +nothing will need doing over again. But she <i>can</i> +nurse the baby and look after the children, which will +set my hands free to do the house-work.’</p> + +<p>So the house-mother bustles from place to place +and does the work herself. In the meanwhile, the +inexperienced hands which must on no account be +trusted with the crockery, the chairs, and the tables, +have the sole charge of what should be to every +mother the most precious of helpless treasures—her +infant.</p> + +<p>In the comparatively poor districts of large towns, +chiefly inhabited by working people and small shopkeepers, +it is no uncommon thing for a little maid, +barely in her teens, to go out nursing by the day—and +generally a very long day. She comes home to +sleep, the small place where a business is carried on +being often filled to overflowing by the shopkeeper’s +actual belongings. It is probably fortunate for the +small servant that she does go home to sleep, or her +day’s work might come to an end even later still, or +last all night, should the baby sleep with her.</p> + +<p>Numbers of little maidens make their start as +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span>domestic servants in this way, and rise by gradual +steps to what is considered a position of greater trust +and responsibility. I have been in a tiny shop when +a dot of a girl, pinafored and with a cotton hood or +woollen kerchief on her head, has entered. Dropping +a little bob of a courtesy, she has announced that she +is seeking her first place by the question, ‘Please, +ma’am, do you want a girl to help to nurse the +baby?’</p> + +<p>It is often the case that these little maids, the +eldest of large families, have served a seven years’ +apprenticeship at home nursing before they are twice +that number of years old. They are frequently far +more handy with babies than much older people, and +the very small folks always like a girl-nurse, who is +not too old to romp and play, and who enjoys the +games as heartily as do her little charges. These +mites love to see a merry face, to hear a good ringing +laugh, and to listen to the nonsense rhymes and +nursery jingles which come pattering from the still +childish lips of their young guardian.</p> + +<p>I do not know a greater affliction in a nursery than +a nurse, no matter how good and conscientious she +may be, who goes through her duties in a grave, +stolid, unsympathetic way; washing and dressing the +children, tidying and stitching in a mechanical, plodding +fashion, and doing her duty faithfully, according +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span>to her light, but forgetting, in her dealings with children, +that she was once as young as they are.</p> + +<p>The nurse who worrits over a soiled pinafore or +rumpled hair, who is for ever straightening up, and +putting the toys and litter which children delight in +and ought to have around them on high shelves and +in out-of-the-way places, may have a tidy nursery, +but she will certainly have a brood of unhappy +youngsters around her.</p> + +<p>There are nurses who are old in years, but young +in heart, bright, cheerful, and abounding in love for +children, and who come second only to the good +mother in the affection of the small people. And +there are others who are by no means old counting +by years, but who left their youthful spirits behind +them, if they ever had any, when they began to run +alone.</p> + +<p>I once heard a lady speaking of two girls, of only +eighteen and twenty, who had the care of her three +children. ‘They are both good girls,’ she said; +‘truthful, conscientious, well-behaved. I have no +fear that the children will ever learn anything wrong +from them. But they are so stolid and dull that they +seem to take all the brightness out of the lives of the +little ones. One sits like a lump at her stitching; the +other, like a second lump of human material, keeps +the children out of mischief, and takes care that the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span>nursery is in a painful state of order, and that +smeared faces and soiled pinafores are things unknown.</p> + +<p>‘Let a child leave a toy for a moment, it is seized +and put carefully away. These nurses never can be +made to understand that, what would appear untidy +and disorderly in a drawing-room, is the proper and +necessary state of things in an apartment dedicated +to the use of little ones. If children are to be happy +they must be occupied, and to find them employment +a variety in books, toys, and pictures must be within +their reach.</p> + +<p>‘A childish mind does not fix itself upon any one +thing for a length of time. But though Jack may +have become weary of the pursuit of architecture, +and may demolish with one stroke the castle he has +spent half an hour in building, he does not want the +materials packed away, in case he should determine +on erecting a church somewhat later in the day. He +likes to have his bricks within reach, even while he +is looking at pictures, and to be able to turn from +his book to his wheelbarrow without asking nurse’s +leave. Then the children want some one to laugh +with them, to sing, to lead their games and teach +them new ones; and when they go out they do not +want to be led solemnly along as if they were attending +a funeral.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span></p> + +<p>‘I am sorry to part with two thoroughly good +girls,’ added the speaker, ‘but I cannot bear +to see the children growing up such little sobersides, +so unnaturally grave and old before their +time.’</p> + +<p>‘What shall you do then?’ asked the friend to +whom the lady was speaking.</p> + +<p>‘Oh, I have engaged a cheery, middle-aged widow +to do the sewing and superintend generally. She is +to have a little girl of fourteen under her as her +messenger and the children’s playfellow. I fell in +love with the little maid when out district-visiting, +through seeing the delightful way in which she +managed to keep her own small brothers and sisters +amused and happy, with next to nothing in the way +of materials. I am quite reckoning on litter and +laughter in my nursery, in place of unvarying tidiness +and dulness.’</p> + +<p>Do not imagine that this lady would have tolerated +any lack of real cleanliness in the persons or +surroundings of her children. She estimated at their +full value the neatness and particularity of her maids; +but she felt that, while the young bodies were admirably +cared for, the nursery atmosphere was cheerless +and depressing. It was deficient in human sunshine +and sympathy.</p> + +<p>Instead of being merry and childlike, her youngsters +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span>were becoming staid, prim little men and +women; their very games were made a serious +business; the care of their toys was a matter of +grave responsibility. The children could hardly +have had more upright and careful attendants; but +the mother saw that spotless pinafores, constant +supervision, and a tidy nursery were not in themselves +sufficient for happiness.</p> + +<p>I have given this little sketch from life because I +want to impress upon my girl readers who think of +offering themselves to fill the situation of nurse, that +something more is required to make a good one than +a mere knowledge of nursery work.</p> + +<p>If I were engaging a nurse for young children, I +should not only inquire about the experience she had +gained in caring for their bodies, her cleanliness, +truthfulness, honesty, and general trustworthiness. +I might be satisfied on these points, and the applicant +might also be one of the best seamstresses that +ever took needle in hand, and yet I should want +something of more importance than all these.</p> + +<p>I should need to be convinced that she was not +taking a place as nurse merely as a means of breadwinning, +but because she honestly loved the helpless +little ones, and was sufficiently young-hearted to feel +for and with them in matters that are trifles to grown-up +people, but great things to children.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span></p> + +<p>I should want to study her face a little, to find that +it was bright and happy-looking, and that her voice +had a cheery ring in it. To be convinced that, when +the laughing, crowing baby looked up in its glee, it +would see a responsive smile on its nurse’s countenance, +and that her presence would be likely to make +the nursery not merely a cleanly but a happy place +for the children.</p> + +<p>So I say to my readers, never take a place as nurse +unless you can carry with you a heart large enough +to hold all your little charges, and warm enough to +pay back with interest the love they are so ready to +give to those who sympathise with and are kind +to them. You will need patience to bear with them, +and firmness to check what is wrong; you will need +constant watchfulness and prayerful self-examination +in order that, by God’s grace, you may be enabled to +subdue in yourselves whatever might set a bad example +or produce a bad impression on the children +intrusted to your care.</p> + +<p>Next to the mother, probably no human being has +so great an influence over the little ones for good or +evil as the nurse. Take care that yours shall be for +good. There is no lesson more quickly learned by +a child than that of trying to hide a fault by telling +an untruth. Perhaps curiosity has led to meddling, +meddling to an accident and a breakage. To cover +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span>this and escape punishment, the child deliberately +plans concealment, and tells its first lie.</p> + +<p>The same teacher—fear of consequences—often +finds an apt pupil in the nurse as well as in her young +charges, and she tells, or it may be only acts, a falsehood +in their presence. Who can estimate the mischief +done, or the fruit produced from the seed of +that evil example? Young eyes are quick to see,—young +minds to receive impressions. Not so quick +to lose the effect, or get rid of the consequences, of a +single lesson in deceit.</p> + +<p>Dear young nurses, let me plead with you for the +sake of the immortal souls of these precious little +ones; be true in word and deed. Strive to lead +them gently and lovingly; set them a good example. +Ask strength from God to overcome the temptations +to anger and falsehood. Be careful, too, that no profane +or impure expression ever passes from your lips, +to defile the ears and corrupt the minds of the children +committed to your care. Let not those young +eyes witness any action that you would be afraid +or ashamed for a grown-up person to see.</p> + +<p>Nay, let your thoughts soar still higher, and remember +the Eye that never slumbers nor sleeps, the +Ear which hears equally the prayer and the wrong or +idle words of which we often think so lightly.</p> + +<p>Should any accident happen to an infant either +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span>through inadvertence or want of care on your part, be +brave and true. Go at once to the mother, and, even +at the risk of losing your situation, or of a severe +reprimand, tell about the fall or the blow which the +child has received, and ask that means may be used +to prevent any permanent harm resulting from it. I +have known two cases of life-long deformity and +lameness, both of which might have been prevented +had the nurses told of comparatively trifling accidents +when they occurred, but which were rendered serious +for want of immediate attention.</p> + +<p>The little creatures had wailed and cried,—their +only mode of telling that they were in pain. The +tears were put down to teething, crossness—anything +but the real cause. Had the truth been told and a +doctor sent for, the experienced professional touch +and eye would have discovered the injuries, the joints +would have been replaced, and two fine girls saved +from lasting disfigurement.</p> + +<p>Better, far better endure displeasure or even the +loss of a place, than carry the life-long memory that, +through your want of courage and candour, a young +creature’s existence has been blighted, or its activity +and usefulness impaired. Ay, and what is of still +more importance, better be the humblest drudge at +the roughest of household work, than undertake the +charge of children without a deep sense of the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span>solemn responsibilities belonging to the nurse’s +office.</p> + +<p>If you cannot carry into the nursery loving hearts, +patience, self-control, cheerfulness, courage, truth, +pure speech, propriety of manners, and tender sympathy, +work elsewhere in the household. Remember +that it is not only the bodies of the little ones for +which you have to care, but that you will have to +answer for the influence you may exert on their +minds and souls. Are they not the lambs whom +Jesus loved and blessed? Do they not belong to that +flock for which the Good Shepherd laid down His life +on Calvary?</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_V"> + CHAPTER V. + <br> + <small>INFLUENCE OVER CHILDREN—BEAR AND FORBEAR.</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap5.png" width="42" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">There</span> are some servants, and particularly +those who are beyond girlhood, who regard the +children of the household with anything but a +kindly feeling, who bitterly resent the planting of +a young foot on the kitchen floor, and deem the +appearance of a curly head in its doorway as an +unwarrantable intrusion.</p> + +<p>‘Now you go out of my kitchen this minute,’ +cries the ruling genius. ‘You know you’ve no +business here. Be off! Quick! or I’ll tell your +ma.’</p> + +<p>The curly head vanishes. The youngster, perhaps, +only came to make a private inquiry as to the +forthcoming pudding, or something equally innocent. +But after his disappearance, cook will probably +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span>further remark, ‘I hate to have children poking and +prying about. They always tell tales and make +mischief.’</p> + +<p>I can understand the existence of such a feeling if +any mistress is so injudicious, any mother so unwise +towards her children, as to permit them to act the +part of spies over her servants and tattlers towards +herself. It is as lowering to her own dignity as it is +insulting to those who serve, and injurious to her +children to encourage such practices.</p> + +<p>On the other hand, the upright, conscientious +servant has no need to care who looks on whilst +she is engaged about her daily duties. If she reverently +carries in her mind this one thought, ‘Thou +God seest me,’ and acts as in that presence, she +has no occasion to trouble herself about other observers.</p> + +<p>As a mother, I feel even more strongly than as the +mistress of a home. However accomplished a servant +might be in the duties of her department, I would +not keep her if I thought that the morals and +manners of my children would suffer by contact with +her.</p> + +<p>Speaking to servants in every department of service, +I say, ‘Be kind to the children, dear girls. You can, +if you are Christians, give many a hint for their +good. You may whisper a word in season which +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span>may make the angry boy ashamed of his senseless +passion. You may show the little one who is +inclined to deceive the beauty and bravery of +truth.’</p> + +<p>Children are often inclined to gossip. They perhaps +overhear something which was never intended +to reach them, and, big with the thought of a +discovered secret, are eager to share the newly-acquired +knowledge with somebody else. A young +servant is the nearest individual to the little personage +who is inclined to be confidential, and to her the tale +is told, if she will listen.</p> + +<p>This gives a right-minded girl an opportunity of +showing her own uprightness and honourable disposition +by refusing to listen, and of pointing out +to the child the impropriety of repeating what +has been said by parents or guests who had either +not noticed or forgotten the presence of the ‘little +pitcher.’</p> + +<p>Imagine how sweet it was to a mother’s ears when +one of my children, after speaking of happy talks +she had enjoyed on Sunday evenings with a young +servant, said, ‘I always feel better after a conversation +with her, more anxious to love and serve +God, and to be good and do what is right to everybody.’</p> + +<p>After such an instance as this, dear girls, you +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span>cannot imagine that a servant’s influence is to be +lightly thought of or carelessly used. I have known +an instance in another home where the religious +training of the parents was rendered useless, their +boy’s faith undermined, and the man’s future career +hopelessly changed, by the contrary influence of an +old and much-trusted domestic.</p> + +<p>Again, if servants wish to find a common bond of +sympathy between their mistresses and themselves, +the little ones will furnish it. When riding in a +tram-car, I one day sat opposite to a young mother, +who was accompanied by a girl-nurse with a baby +on her lap. It was evidently the first, and all its +clothing bore traces of tasteful, industrious fingers, +rather than of great expenditure. The child was a +lovely creature, and its young mother and younger +nurse seemed unconscious of everything else. The +three made a charming picture; for the little maid, +her face lighted up with love, told how her charge +had been admired by different ladies, who had even +stopped her in the street to look at and praise the +bonny baby. The mother listened with eager ears +and happy face, and I left that tram-car with +unwilling feet, because I thought that in the popular +carriage I had seen two human beings united by +perfect sympathy, the bond between them being a +few weeks’ old infant.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span></p> + +<p>I had a cook once who was very difficult to +manage. She was extremely clever in her own +department, but determined to have her way and to +rule instead of obeying a mistress who was then comparatively +inexperienced in household management, +and many years younger than herself. I thought I +must part with her; but cook had a vulnerable +point. She almost worshipped babies, and being +shown into the room where I sat with a month old +infant on my knee, when she first came about +the place, she implored me to let her hold it whilst +we talked.</p> + +<p>‘Being in the kitchen, I hardly ever get a baby +into my arms,’ she said. ‘I’m fond of cooking, but +if I had to start again, I’d be a nurse.’</p> + +<p>I am sure the baby was an unconscious source of +strength to our warm-hearted, self-willed cook; and +for the little creature’s sake she would often battle +against a temper which was most trying to every one +else in the house. Her stay was prolonged far +beyond any person’s expectation, and her darling +was two years old before Sarah left us. She had +rendered the kitchen too hot to hold any one but +herself, and it was a question of parting with her or +the other three servants.</p> + +<p>But I was almost unnerved at the sight of old +Sarah weeping over the child whom she had +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span>nursed since she was in long clothes, and who +was clasping her neck with one arm, while with +the other hand she wiped away the tears from +her friend’s face, making her pinafore corner do +duty for a handkerchief!</p> + +<p>I had done what I could to obtain a situation for +Sarah in which I thought she would be as little +tempted as was possible to give way to her besetting +sins, and I thankfully remember that she did well +in it.</p> + +<p>Here let me say a few words about the need for +<i>mutual forbearance in the household</i>. There is a very +old story of an aged couple whose quarrels had been +for many years the talk of the neighborhood, when, +to the surprise of everybody, the disturbances ceased. +The gossips lost their regular excitement and wonder, +and curiosity took its place. Somebody at last +mustered courage to ask the old man the secret of +the unwonted peace. He replied with a smile, “My +old woman and I have got on all right since we got +two bears to live with us.” This only increased the +curiosity; but it turned out that these were named +‘bear’ and ‘forbear.’</p> + +<p>Ah, the presence of these two bears is absolutely +essential to the happiness of every home. They are +as much needed in the kitchen as in the drawing-room, +and I would say to every young candidate for +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span>a situation, ‘Whatever else you may leave behind, +take the two bears along with you.’</p> + +<p>Mistresses often complain that one of their most +serious difficulties arises from the disagreements +amongst the servants themselves. One lady, when +telling me of this domestic trouble, was ready +to cry, because her efforts to induce her servants to +be kind and friendly with each other had utterly +failed.</p> + +<p>‘Two of them,’ said she, ‘are pleasant-tempered +enough; but the cook and nurse are always either +squabbling or sulking. We have had an interval of +peace recently, for these two gave up speaking to +each other about a fortnight since, and both are too +proud to make any advance towards resuming friendly +relations. The others are made extremely uncomfortable, +and the children cannot help observing +what is going on. It is a shocking example for +them.’</p> + +<p>‘And are these quarrelsome girls good servants +in other respects?’ I asked.</p> + +<p>‘Excellent. Indeed, all four fulfil their duties to +my entire satisfaction, are respectful to their employers, +attentive to guests, good to the children. +If it were not for the wretched contrariness of the +cook and nurse towards each other, I should esteem +myself uncommonly fortunate.’</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span></p> + +<p>In this case, you see, the comfort of a home was +largely interfered with, and not only the offenders +themselves were miserable, but every member of the +family suffered, more or less, for want of a little of +the ‘bear and forbear spirit’ in two of the household.</p> + +<p>As a rule, servants are extremely reluctant to +tell tales of, or to lodge complaints against, one +another. This is much to their credit; though +amongst such a numerous class there are sure to +be some tattlers. All honour to those who, in things +which affect their own comfort only, show that +‘charity which suffereth long, and is kind.’</p> + +<p>But there are cases in which it is right both to +speak and act promptly and boldly. For instance, +when the conduct of one makes all the rest miserable, +as in a particular instance which occurs to my +mind as I write.</p> + +<p>A cook in a family where several servants were +kept, was for years feared and disliked as a perfect +tyrant in her own domain. She was so jealous +and suspicious, that an expression of kindness and +approval from the mistress to one of the other +servants was resented as a personal injury to herself. +The recipient would be harassed with taunts, +accused of hypocrisy, and of wanting to undermine +her in the good opinion of their mutual +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span>employers. Or, as the others remarked, ‘Let the +mistress praise one of us, and cook will blaze like +her own kitchen fire, and give us a hot time of it +for days to come.’</p> + +<p>This mistress was particularly anxious for the +comfort and happiness of all under the roof. She +was careful to have respectable servants, and to +satisfy herself also about the character of their friends +and connections. This done, she personally invited +them to visit their young relatives and friends, +and never had to complain that the privilege was +abused.</p> + +<p>But, to her surprise, visitors rarely came a second +time during the reign of this kitchen tyrant. It was +only after long endurance, and when a new cook had +succeeded, that the mistress, who wished her house +to be a home to her servants, found out why it was +not so. Simply because they could not endure that +their friends should be made uncomfortable by +taunts and rudeness, and they preferred to send +them from the door, or to see them anywhere or +nowhere, rather than under the roof of their employers.</p> + +<p>The cook was an excellent servant in other +respects, but for years she nullified the efforts of her +employers for the comfort of her fellow-servants +by her jealousy, and by practicing all the petty +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span>tyrannies which a mean and suspicious nature, +combined with fertility of invention, could contrive.</p> + +<p>How much the servants endured would be difficult +to tell. But they did bear, and in silence, rather +than be blamed for tale-telling. They would not +complain, lest their unkind fellow-servant should +lose her place; though she had not scrupled to rob +them of comfort, domestic peace, and the family +intercourse which the mistress both permitted and +encouraged.</p> + +<p>In this case too much forbearance was shown. +I think that the right thing would have been for the +servants, first, to join in remonstrating with the +kitchen tyrant, stating at the same time their intention +of laying the matter before their mistress +should cook still refuse to hear reason. By such +a course they would have saved great discomfort +to themselves, have taught a much-needed lesson +to one who was not fit to be trusted even with +kitchen government, and they would have prevented +the commands of the mistress from being a dead +letter in her home.</p> + +<p>Perhaps some of you may like a little advice as +to when it is right to appeal to the mistress, and +when it is wise to be silent. In this, as in every +other difficulty, you will find all the guidance you +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span>can possibly need in the Bible. Go on the grand +principle of doing what God’s Word and your own +conscience impel you to do.</p> + +<p>If you are aware of a wrong done to your employers, +or have good cause to suspect that they +are being robbed or wilfully deceived by those in +whom they place confidence, you ought to speak. +If through your silence the innocent would be +blamed, or the guilty escape detection, you should +tell what you know.</p> + +<p>The person who, seeing wrong done, keeps silence, +and lets another be injured, becomes a partaker +in evil-doing. Sooner or later those who, by hiding +the wrong, tacitly consent thereto, will certainly be +involved in the blame also. Some may blame you +for speaking; but it is better “that ye suffer for well-doing +than for evil-doing.” So mind you suffer +as a Christian should, for doing right, if you must +be blamed at all.</p> + +<p>Take another piece of advice from St. Peter’s +first Epistle, which is full of practical teaching for +the guidance of Christians in their relations one +towards another, and to their Divine Head. ‘But +let none of you suffer as a thief or as an evil-doer.’</p> + +<p>Remember the value of a good name. If yours +is unjustly attacked, spare no pains to remove the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span>false impression, and to regain the good opinion +of those who have misjudged you.</p> + +<p>‘Or as a busybody.’ See how carefully both +sides are given! We are warned against keeping +silent, where doing this would injure others, hide +wrong-doing, or hurt our own good name. We +are equally warned against tattling or busying +ourselves about what does not concern us. In +so many cases where a mere love of gossip would +induce us to speak, it is wiser, kinder, more becoming +a Christian, to be silent. A few sentences +from God’s Word will be the best comment on +this side of the subject, and show us the propriety +of silence where we should serve no good end by +speaking.</p> + +<p>‘He that coveteth a transgression seeketh love.’ +‘He that refraineth his lips is wise.’ ‘He that +uttereth a slander is a fool.’ ‘The words of a tale-bearer +are as wounds.’ ‘A tale-bearer revealeth +secrets, but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth +the matter.’ ‘A whisperer separateth chief +friends.’</p> + +<p>To what does all this advice tend? Surely to +teach us that, as witnesses, we should be faithful +ones, telling the simple, unvarnished truth. That +our lips should be ‘righteous lips.’ That we should +not gossip about the faults and failings of others, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span>from a love of talk, and that our daily and hourly +prayer should be:—</p> + +<p>‘Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep +the door of my lips!’</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VI"> + CHAPTER VI. + <br> + <small>THOROUGHNESS—ECONOMY OF TIME—CARE OF + PROPERTY—PUNCTUALITY.</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap6.png" width="62" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">Most</span> mistresses are anxious that household +work should be well and thoroughly done. +I am, however, bound, in common fairness, +to say that, while many servants are careless and +slippery—spending the time that ought to be occupied +about their work in dawdling and gossiping—there +are also mistresses who are unreasonable in +their requirements. They demand impossibilities, +because they have no idea of the time that is needed +to ensure thoroughness in any branch of household +work.</p> + +<p>‘There is nothing I like so much as a mistress who +knows what work is, and who, having done it herself, +can tell how long it takes to do it real well.’</p> + +<p>These were the words of a bonny, bright-faced +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span>young housemaid who had lately entered upon a +new place. She loved cleanliness, and did not +consider that her duty was done when the ashes +were removed from under the grate, and a duster +lightly whisked over the tops of the tables and the +seats and backs of chairs.</p> + +<p>‘I’m not afraid of the chairs being turned round or +my mistress looking into corners, or that if you lift +up a book or an ornament, the shape of it will be left +clear on the dusty top of the chiffonier. I like +things to be just as clean and as bright all over as +hands can make them. But it takes time to make +them so, as well as good rubbing.’</p> + +<p>The girl was right. And it is a great blessing to +the employed when the employer has a practical +knowledge of the work her servants have to do.</p> + +<p>I rejoice to think that the cookery and domestic +economy classes are doing good service in this +direction, by making girls, the future mistresses +of homes, acquainted with the details of household +work.</p> + +<p>‘She is cleanly, but dreadfully slow,’ is no unfrequent +character from an active bustling mistress, +when parting with a servant, who is perhaps less +slow than thorough.</p> + +<p>On this subject, let me say to servants, If you are +not allowed the time to do your work well, take care +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span>that you spend upon it every minute that you have +allotted for the purpose. Let no one catch you +gossiping or idling away your time, when you have +complained that it was already insufficient for the +task to be properly performed. And if, after having +done your best, you are still found fault with, ask +your mistress, in a respectful manner, if she will, just +for once, look on whilst you do this piece of work, +and note how long it takes you to do it well.</p> + +<p>If instead of scolding on the one side, and flying +into a temper and answering impertinently on the +other, there were to be a fair consideration and a +reasonable test such as the above, we should have +fewer hasty warnings ‘to leave at the month’s end;’ +less frequent changes, and longer and more valuable +service from our domestics. These, too, would not +pay us less respect or care less for our interests, +because they found us willing to listen patiently to +a well-grounded complaint, and to redress any real +grievance.</p> + +<p>From the subject of economy of time and +thoroughness in the quality of work we turn +naturally to that of care in the use of the property +entrusted to you who serve in the household. In +respect to work there can be no better advice than +this: ‘Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it +with thy might.’ So, in using the property of others, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span>use it as though you had earned the money which +bought it.</p> + +<p>Accidents will occasionally happen in spite of +care; but numberless things are mutilated or +destroyed by the want of a very little precaution. +A window and door are both left open on a windy +day. The blind is next seen flapping to and fro +outside, and unless some watchful eye notices this, +the crash of glass announces that the lath has been +driven through a pane or two, valuable papers have +been carried into the fire or up the chimney, a tablecloth +and a number of fragile ornaments swept on to +the floor, and everything that would break amongst +them smashed to atoms by a little act of thoughtlessness.</p> + +<p>Who can truly say, ‘I could not help it,’ when an +indignant mistress reproaches the author of such +waste and ruin? She may not have done it on +purpose, but destruction which is caused by utter +carelessness is scarcely less blamable than wilful +waste.</p> + +<p>A great deal of harm is done to furniture by rough, +bouncing servants, who bang articles down on floor +or table, who rush about like a whirlwind, under the +impression that hurry and bustle mean industry +and earnestness, who seem to think that noise is an +essential accompaniment to work. These are the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span>people under whom the edges of our tumblers are +chipped, until they become dangerous to those who +use them; in whose hands crockery is perpetually +‘coming in two,’ and handles as constantly ‘coming +off.’</p> + +<p>Chairs are recklessly brought in contact with +side-boards, and the veneering is chipped, or smooth, +polished surfaces are mercilessly rubbed with rough +dusters, with the result of leaving the same covered +with all sorts of fine lines and scratches. Under +such treatment the polished top of, say, a grand +piano, assumes the appearance of an immense outline +map.</p> + +<p>All such injury to furniture and utensils becomes +a double source of annoyance from the fact that a +little care would have prevented it. Hurry, bustle, +and bounce always hinder real work. It is the +steady, methodical servant, whose work is done +with the least apparent effort, but which entails the +smallest amount of destruction to property and is +most satisfactory in the long run.</p> + +<p>I often think of a little figure familiar under our +roof for nearly ten years, who was an admirable +illustration of the value of method and of forecasting +the work. Slight in frame, short in stature, +and by no means strong, in many respects she was +a living example of what could be effected by +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span>steadiness and a thoughtful planning of her work. +Nobody ever saw her in a hurry, or with a smutty +face or untidy hair. Her gowns looked less soiled +and tumbled at the week’s end than those of many +wearers would be after a few hours’ use.</p> + +<p>All cooking materials that could be properly +prepared beforehand or over-night were always +ready for use when wanted. A glance at the spotless +dressers and the floors, from which, to use a +popular expression, ‘you might have eaten your +dinner without a plate,’ gave a sufficient pledge of +the exquisite cleanliness of everything prepared in +that kitchen and by those hands. Yet all this +beautiful order and purity were the result of quiet, +steady work, carefully planned and carried out +regularly and methodically.</p> + +<p>There is no department in which cleanliness can +be of more importance than in that of the cook. A +careless, muddling cook will use her utensils indiscriminately. +She will boil her onions, for sauce, and +then, after a mere wash out, will make sweet sauce +for pudding in the same pan—we all know with what +result. A fine, subtle flavour of onions will run +through the second preparation, and will, in turn, +spoil both the sauce and the pudding it is intended +to improve. And yet, when fault is found, the +offender will perhaps stoutly insist, and with a +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span>certain measure of truth, that she had washed her +pan quite clean. Washing will not remove strong +flavours, and especially the taste of onions. A pan +should be kept for these alone, and no other sauce +should ever be prepared in it. It would take too +much space were I to attempt to enter fully into the +many little details connected with a cook’s duties, so +I will make my advice very brief.</p> + +<p>Be very cleanly in kitchen utensils, person, and +dress. Be specially particular about the neat arrangement +of your hair, so that it may not be loose +and straggling. Few things are more disgusting +than the sight of hairs amongst food. Scour and +scald—in addition to merely washing—all utensils. +Let crockery be thoroughly cleansed from grease and +brightened in the drying. Fill milk bowls with +boiling water, and let it stand in them until it is cold +before drying for use again. This will tend to make +the milk keep better.</p> + +<p>In using the articles of food and preparing them, +avoid all waste, and be ready to render an account +of everything that is entrusted to your care. There +are some cooks who use articles lavishly and wastefully, +and who give away what is not theirs to +bestow. They have no anxiety about providing +the food, no occasion to consider how bills are to +be paid, and often do not know the price and value +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span>of what they waste. They will throw bread and +odd pieces amongst the swill, and let food be cast +away to nourish swine, which many a widowed +mother and hungry child would be thankful to receive +and make use of.</p> + +<p>Remember, you are accountable—and not to +earthly employers only—for every wasted bit, +whether of food or fuel. You are stewards in your +position, as your master and mistress are stewards +in theirs. And there is another thought I would +bring before you. Every housekeeper knows that +meat is daily growing dearer, and a sufficient supply +becoming less and less attainable. Consider, then, +that a lavish use or waste of meat helps to make it +dearer still, and life harder for the poor. Out of the +very scraps and crumbs, if you will only collect them, +thousands of birds may be fed and the lives of the +dear little songsters preserved through the cold blasts +and pinching frosts of winter.</p> + +<p>Every morning at my home, one of our kindly +domestics may be seen sallying forth with a plate on +which all these fragments have been collected by +their united efforts. Half of the store goes to the +birds in the front, half to their brethren in the back +garden; and the daily scene at feeding-time is well +worth watching for. I feel sure if you were to begin +to care for these little feathered pensioners on human +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span>bounty, you would find so much pleasure in doing it +that nothing would induce you to give up the practice.</p> + +<p>As I have advised nurses on no account to conceal +any accident that may happen to the children under +their care, so I would earnestly urge all servants to +tell, and at once, of any breakage or injury to furniture. +I say at once, because delay in telling always +makes the task more difficult.</p> + +<p>It is a mean thing, and an acted untruth, for a +servant to hide away the fragments of broken articles, +conceal the mischief done, and, perhaps, leave the +place without telling what has happened. Two unpleasant +results are likely to follow. A fellow-servant +may be blamed for that of which she is +innocent; a mistress may be put to serious inconvenience +for want of an article which she believed to +be safe and sound, though really it had been long +broken.</p> + +<p>Very often she will be met with a look of combined +protest and mock astonishment when she asks +for particulars. ‘Oh, that was done months since,’ is +the reply given. As though the length of time which +had elapsed made the loss less annoying, or the concealment +less to be condemned.</p> + +<p>Two wealthy bachelors, whose establishment was +nominally under the rule of a cook-housekeeper, were +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span>one day surprised to find that out of a large and fine +set of cut wine-glasses, none remained but those they +were using at the moment. The waitress was considered +responsible for the safe keeping of table +appointments, and she had gone on breaking and +hiding, until, when a visitor came, there was no spare +glass to place for his use.</p> + +<p>The wrath of the masters may be better imagined +than described. It was, however, less the loss of +their property than the deceit and consequent annoyance +which caused them to arrange for the prompt +departure of that waitress.</p> + +<p>So again I say, tell and at once of any accident to +your employer’s property. At the moment, perhaps, +vexation at the loss may try your mistress’s temper, +and you may be sharply reproved. Express your +sorrow, if you have been careless, try to be more +careful in the future. Bear the reproof meekly, and, +when the first irritation is past, you will find that the +prompt confession has helped to build up your own +character for truthfulness and straightforwardness. +It is not unlikely that the mistress will afterwards +say something of this kind: ‘I was vexed at the +moment, but I am glad you told me the truth.’ And +in speaking of you to others she may blame you for +carelessness; but she will be able to say, ‘I can trust +her word.’ At any rate, your own conscience will +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span>tell you that you have not added a wilful sin to an +unintentional error.</p> + +<p>And the ladies who rule in the house should encourage +their handmaidens to tell the truth in any +and every case of accident. It is rather hard to keep +from speaking sharply when some fragile but much-valued +article has been smashed to atoms by careless +hands. But if the culprit’s confession and expressions +of sorrow are met with scolding and harsh words, the +offender is very likely to hold her peace and hide the +fragments, should she meet with a second mishap of +the kind. Not that it would be right to do so; but +the temptation to take such a course would be vastly +increased.</p> + +<p>Where, however, a mistress has her patience tried +by repeated acts of carelessness, and the almost +wilful destruction of property, she has the remedy +in her own hands. She must either have a distinct +understanding that whoever breaks pays, or she must +part with the author of the mischief.</p> + +<p>Punctuality in carrying out household arrangements +is valuable in every home, as tending to make +the domestic machinery run smoothly. In some +houses it is of vital importance. Yet, all the +members of a family depend more or less on each +other for the power to be punctual with comfort—the +children who have to go to school, the father who +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span>must be at his place of business, the servants whose +work should be completed by a given time.</p> + +<p>A lady who was about to engage a cook was +extremely particular in her inquiries about the +habitual punctuality of the applicant.</p> + +<p>‘I can be punctual if the family can,’ was the +answer. ‘I like to be regular and orderly about my +work, and am prepared to be so. But my difficulty +has mostly been to get other people to be the same.’</p> + +<p>The girl spoke respectfully, and was quite in earnest. +The lady she addressed felt a guilty flush +creeping over her own face as she listened. She +knew very well that, whilst professing to exact punctuality +in others, she was often sadly deficient in the +practice of that virtue.</p> + +<p>There is no doubt, however, that a punctual mistress +will make her servants keep to the proper time; +but it is by no means equally sure that punctuality +in the employed would have the same effect on the +employers. These will sometimes say to servants, +‘You must have the meals on the table at the time. +Never mind whether any one is there to eat them or +not.’ But this would be a most unsatisfactory state +of things. The cook would grieve over spoiled +dishes; the waiting damsel would be uncomfortable; +and, depend on it, the blame would be placed on +clocks, on servants, on anything and anybody rather +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span>than applied to themselves by those who grumble +over a cold or lukewarm dinner.</p> + +<p>I shall not soon forget my return from town on +one occasion. I was half an hour late, and after I +came into the house I stopped on my way upstairs to +speak to a seamstress about some working materials +which I had brought back with me. On finally +descending I was met in the hall by that methodical +cook of whom I have already written.</p> + +<p>‘Ma’am! Are you aware that the dinner is +starving?’ (meaning, ‘getting cold,’) she asked with +a reproachful look on her face.</p> + +<p>I hope I felt properly guilty. I know I blushed +and said, apologetically, that if such were the case I +was to blame, and not she. And I hurried to my +place at table, convinced that punctuality ought to +be an all-round thing, and, if exacted from servants, +should also be practised by all the members of the +family.</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VII"> + CHAPTER VII. + <br> + <small>ON FAULT-FINDING—GIVING NOTICE TO LEAVE—AND + GIVING CHARACTERS.</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap7.png" width="43" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">There</span> are two practices not altogether unknown +amongst servants against which it is hardly +possible to protest too strongly. I allude to +those of listening, in order to find out things never +intended for their ears, and of prying into odd +papers or letters, accidentally or trustfully left within +reach. No right-minded girl, no person deserving +the name of Christian, would be guilty of either +practice.</p> + +<p>If employers leave their letters and papers lying +about, this certainly implies trust in their servants, +and that they believe them to be too upright and +honourable to be guilty of prying into their contents. +If they speak of private matters in such a place and +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span>tone that their servants could hear if they were mean +enough to listen, it is a proof that they do not think +them capable of such an underhand proceeding. Deserve +their good opinion, dear girls, and preserve +your self-respect by scorning to do, when unseen, +what you would be ashamed of if detected in the +act.</p> + +<p>Servants sometimes complain that mistresses are +unreasonably suspicious, and act as though they +expected to be cheated at every turn—that, like +Dickens’s Miss Sally Brass, they would padlock +everything, down to the very salt-box, until ‘there +was nothing that a chameleon could lunch upon’—and +manifest to those whom they employ a prying +spirit which they would be the first to complain of +in their servants. This spirit is, however, often the +harvest reaped by an upright girl from the seeds +sown by a deceitful and dishonest one. When a +mistress has trusted and been deceived, she is apt +to become suspicious where there is no occasion to +be so. The only remedy is for the new-comer so to +act as to show that the more her conduct is looked +into, the better <i>she</i> will be satisfied, as well as her +mistress.</p> + +<p>If, however, after a fair trial, the habit of locking +up every little thing and incessant mistrustfulness +should continue, a girl would be right to try for +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span>another place, where truth and honesty were better +understood and appreciated. Were I a servant, I +could not endure the harass of being constantly +suspected and misjudged, any more than as a mistress +I would, after a fair trial, keep a servant whom +I could not both trust and respect.</p> + +<p>People tell us that now-a-days there are no old +servants—that where a seven years’ character used +to be a common thing, one for twelve months or two +years should be reckoned very good indeed. I do +not agree with these sweeping statements, and my +own home experience contradicts them. But I am +well aware that, in many households, there is a perpetual +game of Marjory-move-all going on. I believe +this is for want of a little more reasonableness on +both sides.</p> + +<p>Small difficulties, which might be got over by a +little patience, twist themselves into a knot which is +summarily cut by the usual month’s warning. If I +could only persuade you never to give warning on +the day that something has occurred to irritate you, +I should save many of you from throwing away a +good place. But if, yielding to a momentary irritation, +you have done this, and are sorry for it, do +not be too proud to own that you were wrong, and +ask forgiveness and permission to withdraw the +notice. Your mistress will respect you and value +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span>your services all the more after such a display of +right feeling and good sense.</p> + +<p>To young mistresses I venture a word of advice. +If you have something to complain about, always call +your servants into your own sitting-room, after the +day’s work is over, and point out the fault kindly and +reasonably. Say what is wrong and how it is to +be amended, and be firm in exacting attention and +future obedience to your orders.</p> + +<p>Never squabble with or rate your servants. By +doing so you lose your own dignity and their respect. +Never reprove them in the presence of visitors. Few +things are more calculated to irritate, or to provoke +a disrespectful reply; besides which, it renders the +guests extremely uncomfortable.</p> + +<p>I once saw a lady who had a very <i>correct eye</i>, and +who was very particular about her table arrangements, +seize upon a young servant, whisk her round +as she was about to leave the room, and angrily +direct her attention to a dish which was the least bit +awry. The girl, a new-comer, young, inexperienced, +and fresh from the country, blushed, trembled, and +seemed ready to sink through the floor, had it been +possible. Frightened at the angry looks of her mistress, +and confused at being made a centre of observation +to all those strange eyes, she was, moreover, +unable to comprehend what was amiss. By the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span>time the lady had, by shakes and jerks, aroused +her to a sense of the mistake she had committed, +the poor girl was hopelessly unnerved and in +tears.</p> + +<p>One blunder followed another. She handed dishes +at the wrong side, spilled the liquids when attempting +to pour them into glasses, was glared at by the +mistress, secretly pitied by the guests, and occupied +herself between times in furtively using her handkerchief +to wipe away the tears which, once set flowing, +were not easily stopped.</p> + +<p>Yet an unnoticed touch from the deft hand of the +lady would have straightened the dish. A few kind +words and a little lesson in private, instead of the +course pursued, would have revealed a disposition +willing to be taught and led in the servant, and have +shown the capability of the mistress to model her +into a first-class parlour-maid. As it was, the girl +left as soon as possible, and the mistress had to seek +another maid—a difficult matter, for she had got the +character of being perpetually changing her domestics. +This is a real picture, and one which, with +trifling variation in actual detail, I have seen enacted +again and again.</p> + +<p>‘Masters, give unto your servants that which is +just and equal, knowing that ye also have a Master +in heaven.’</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span></p> + +<p>This advice or command, given by the hand of an +inspired apostle, applies to all who bear rule over +servants, whether in the place of business or the +home—to mistresses as well as masters. And surely +in giving that which is just and equal, we have to +think of more than a mere question of wages. We +should be just in our acts, reasonable in our requirements, +and even in our tempers, to those who +serve us.</p> + +<p>I know one lady who, when the smallest portion +of the household machinery went wrong, would fly +into a violent passion and say all sorts of unjust and +harsh things to the author of the mishap. Being, +like most hasty people, very generous, she would +next lavish gifts on those to whom conscience told +her she had been too severe. Her maids calculated +on this result, and one was heard to say that she +enjoyed a ‘flare-up’ with the mistress. Her temper +was soon up, but as soon over. It was worth while +to put up with it quietly, ‘it paid so well in the +end.’</p> + +<p>‘Be just and equal.’ A short sentence, but how +much it says! Give praise heartily where it is fairly +earned. Be equally just in pointing out what is +wrong, and firm in enforcing obedience, but do it in +a reasonable way—not in the heat of passion or in +the presence of others, but so as to convince your +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span>servants that you know both your own place and +their duty.</p> + +<p>Young wives, who in their early married life are +often much alone, sometimes make the mistake of +first being over-confidential and familiar, and then of +going into the opposite extreme. They have fault-finding +fits, and the damsel who has been treated +as a friend and <i>confidante</i> on one day cannot understand +why her girl-mistress should on the next be +sharp in speech and distant in manner. If we mistresses +wish to be respected, we must, as I have said, +be equal in temper, reasonable in our requirements, +and just in our judgments.</p> + +<p>I have alluded to the giving of hasty notices by +servants, and suggested how these should act if they +feel they are likely to throw away a good place, and +are sorry for it. As a mistress, I would not advise +another to ask a girl to withdraw a notice given in +a fit of temper. However valuable her services +might be, she had better be allowed to go unless +she herself asks to stay, and owns that she has been +wrong.</p> + +<p>Were the mistress to ask the servant, the latter +would probably get it into her head that she was +too valuable to be spared, and the notice would be +repeated whenever she was found fault with, until a +separation became inevitable. Reasonable Christian +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span>girls have too much common sense and right feeling +to act in this foolish manner.</p> + +<p>On the other hand, if the mistress has been the +one to give a hasty warning, and conscience tells her +that she has acted on impulse and without a fair +consideration of the grievance, I do not think she +would lessen herself, or lose the respect of her +servant, by frankly saying so, and asking the latter +to remain. A good servant would show no foolish +triumph, and would give herself no airs. On the +contrary, she would manifest her sense of her mistress’s +fairness by extra gentleness of speech and +manners.</p> + +<p>It is good alike for mistress and maid, for the +mother of the family, and the young people, down +to the little one who is only able to lisp out his +request, to practise always and under the home-roof +the same politeness that we take with us into the +outer world.</p> + +<p>There is an old saying, that ‘No man is a hero +to his valet.’ The meaning is plain. The outside +world too often gets the best side of us all. At +home, we give way to little tempers, use hasty words, +and act towards those whom we profess to love best +as we would not do in the presence of strangers. +Sometimes the mistress who is admired and sought +after, the girls who are called charming in society, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span>even the little children who have two sets of manners, +one for home and the other for company use, have +different verdicts passed upon them by those who +serve in the house.</p> + +<p>‘She’s no lady, or she wouldn’t speak to a servant +worse than to a dog,’ is not an uncommon expression +with regard to a mistress. Or, ‘If some of these +fine young gentlemen could see our pretty young +miss in one of her tempers, she wouldn’t be so run +after,’ etc., etc.</p> + +<p>Dear young mistresses, dear girls who look forward +to being such, let me give you a hint or two. Be +loving, kind, considerate, courteous, sympathetic, +thoughtful for others, careful not to wound the +feelings of those who dwell under the same roof with +you. <i>Practise true politeness there, every day and to +every one with whom you have to do.</i> Teach it to +the little children, both by precept and example, and +you will be doing them an inestimable service and +yourselves also. That which is learned in childhood +abides. That which is in hourly use is not likely to +be forgotten. Those who are loved for their own +sakes in the home, and whose manners are admired +there, are certain to win love and to be charming +when outside that hallowed circle and under other +roofs.</p> + +<p>It is next to impossible for a servant to treat a +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span>mistress rudely if the latter carries her own politeness +and good manners with her wherever she goes. And +the real daughters of the family will lose no dignity, +but gain much love, if they, too, thoughtfully strive +to lighten the work of servants by giving no needless +trouble—if, thankfully remembering the goodness of +God in giving them many advantages of education +and surroundings not possessed by their toiling +sisters of the household, they try to make the lot +of these brighter and happier. They may do this +by kindly consideration, feminine sympathy, pleasant +words and looks, by imparting useful information, +by lending suitable books; by acting in accordance +with the spirit and teaching of our Divine Lord +and Master; in short, by obeying His command, +‘Love one another.’ ‘Whatsoever ye would +that men should do to you, do ye even so to +them.’</p> + +<p>We must show that we do not wish to exact all, +and give nothing. We must manifest an interest +in our servants, and in those near and dear to them. +We must give a tender, womanly thought to the +little, lonely lassie who, having come to her first +place, is frightened at the sight of so many strangers, +and yearns for the familiar faces she has left +behind.</p> + +<p>Our responsibilities extend beyond the threshold. +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span>If a mistress is a mother also, surely the thought of +her own daughters will make her anxious to preserve +every girl from what is impure or morally injurious. +The young mistresses, in their turn, will feel anxious +for the well-being of their domestics, and will strive +to guard them from all evil influences, as they +themselves have been guarded in their girlhoods’ +homes.</p> + +<p>We mistresses, each and all, should assure ourselves +that our girls pass their Sundays as God’s +children should spend His day. We should give +them opportunities of enjoying the fresh air, which +is as needful for their health as for our own. But +if the girls are at a distance from their own homes +and friends, we should ascertain what associates +they have, and where and how a holiday is likely +to be spent. We shall feel that it is our bounden +duty to guard from contaminating influences these +girls—the daughters of other mothers, who have been +intrusted to our care, as well as to work for us and +under our rule.</p> + +<p>We shall encourage them to consult us in seasons +of doubt, difficulty, or temptation. We shall help +them to decide on taking the right course, and +cheer and strengthen them in their efforts to resist +evil.</p> + +<p>We, too, shall have our reward; though we work +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span>not with any thought of benefit to ourselves, but with +a single-hearted desire to do good to others. There +are certain tasks and duties the performance of which +can be bargained for, certain work that can be paid +for in current coin of the realm. But there are +numberless services, labours of love, which we cannot +demand and money cannot buy. In such as these +we shall reap an abundant harvest.</p> + +<p>There is another matter in which we should be just +and equal; namely, in the giving of characters. +Alike for the sake of the servant herself and the +future mistress, we should be equally frank and +impartial. Few mistresses willingly give the worst +side of a servant’s character. There is always the +feeling that a girl’s bread depends on her obtaining +a situation, and that ill-success may drive her to +evil courses. So, whilst no untruth is told, the whole +truth certainly is not. All that can be said for the +departing servant is said, the damaging circumstances +are glossed over or wholly suppressed, and +perhaps the lady comforts herself with the thought +that she has done a kind act.</p> + +<p>Some much-pressed house-mother takes the girl. +She has probably been unsuccessful in obtaining one, +and the domestic emergency is great. Too soon she +finds out how one-sided was the character given—out +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span>of kindness, or from fear of consequences it +may be—and she feels that she has been cruelly +deceived.</p> + +<p>Ah, these half-truths! What mischief they do! +I have always felt the importance of being just and +equal in this respect, and that I owed a duty to the +mistress in search of a servant, as much as to the +girl in want of a place. ‘The truth, the whole truth, +and nothing but the truth,’ should be our motto in +character-giving.</p> + +<p>That one and only bad servant I ever had would +never have crossed our threshold but for the written +character sent by her then mistress. When, after a +few weeks of bitter experience, I came to analyse +it, I wondered that I could have been deceived by +such evasive answers to my queries, such self-evident +half-truths.</p> + +<p>That very servant, finding that no one would +engage her, after an interview with me, wrote one of +the most remarkable letters it was ever my lot to +receive. Without for a moment professing regret +for her wrong-doing, or a desire and determination +to amend, she asked me to tell a falsehood in order +to hide her untruthfulness and dishonesty, and obtain +for her another place in which to resume her career +of wickedness. What I did was to visit the different +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span>register offices at which she had entered her name, +and warn those who kept them not to send to me +for a character, as I would only tell the truth, +and this would prevent any lady from engaging +her.</p> + +<p>Occasionally one finds that an employer will give +a tolerably favourable character, but accompany her +words with looks and manner which seem to say, +‘I could tell more if I chose, but I will not;’ or will +merely state that the servant herself gave notice, and +left by her own wish. This is neither fair to employer +nor servant. A girl may have many excellent +qualities, yet not prove equal to the duties she has +undertaken. In such a case, I should, were I her +mistress, look round for a vacant niche which she +was likely to fill, and help her to obtain it. I +have done so more than once with most satisfactory +results. But I would never allow an inquiring +mistress to be deceived, or to take into +her house the seeds of trouble in the shape of an +untruthful or impure-minded girl, for lack, on +my part, of courage to speak of such a one as she +is.</p> + +<p>Let us, by all means, help the fallen to rise again, +and stretch out the hand of love and pity to the +penitent. But let us, mistresses, young and old, be +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span>true to others and to ourselves, and not show our +compassion by concealing the truth, or help the +wrong-doer to obtain a place by sacrificing the peace +of our neighbour’s household.</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_VIII"> + CHAPTER VIII. + <br> + <small>DRESS—VISITORS AND SYMPATHY IN CHRISTIAN + WORK.</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap8.png" width="43" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">Formerly</span>, there was such a decided difference +between the dress of mistress and maid that +there was no mistaking the one for the other. +Now, much greater latitude is permitted; and it is +sometimes said that, if we wish to distinguish the +mistress, we must look for the more plainly dressed of +the two when the maid is also present. Some ladies +do not interfere in the matter so long as their domestics +dress quietly and neatly when on duty.</p> + +<p>Without going far into the question, let me give +you a little advice on the subject. It will be just the +same as I would offer to my own children or to any +other girl who might wish for it. Regulate the +amount you spend by your actual requirements. Do +not spend all you can upon dress just because you +have the money. Remember there are other ways +in which your spare wages may be wisely and well +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span>laid out or laid by. I say laid by, because, whatever +be your income, you should try to save something +out of it for the proverbial rainy day. There are +plenty of ways by which thrifty people may save and +invest even very small sums, and by a penny at a +time, if they can afford no more.</p> + +<p>For instance, the post office will supply you with a +form on which you can stick a new postage stamp, +bought with a spare penny. When twelve stamps +have thus been affixed, you can take them to the +post office, receive back their value in the shape of +a shilling, and make that your first deposit in the +savings bank there. Make a beginning, and you are +almost sure to go on. If you can spare a shilling at +a time, you need not buy stamps, but become a +savings bank depositor at once.</p> + +<p>It is a pleasant thing to have a little money, your +own honest earnings, to fall back upon if sickness +should come or you are out of place. Or you may +help the good father and mother to whom you owe +so much, or, if they do not need it, in due time spend +your earnings on furnishing your future home. Which +of us at some time has not known a girl who, having +spent all her means on ‘fine feathers,’ has had to be +a burden on hard-working parents in such seasons of +trouble as come with sickness or want of employment?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span></p> + +<p>Then, beside laying by money, you should have +some to lend or lay out in our Master’s service. +Because you are young girls in situations, are you to +have no share in Christian work, to do nothing for +love of that dear Saviour who gave His life for you? +You would be very angry indeed if any one were to +say that you should have neither part nor lot in sending +missionaries to the heathen, at home and abroad, +in spreading the written Word of God, so that all +may possess a copy, or in caring for the sick and +suffering in homes and hospitals.</p> + +<p>My own experience shows me that many amongst +you give almost beyond your means, and contribute +nobly and lovingly to many a good work. If some +have not done so, they will, I trust, take this reminder +in good part, and spare a trifle, remembering that +most of our great societies owe more to the small +contributions of the many than to the larger ones of +the few.</p> + +<p>Going back to the subject of dress, let me advise +you to choose quiet colours and as good a material +as you can afford. Such will never become conspicuous, +they will wear double the time, look well +to the last bit, and cost no more for making than +the commonest stuff you could purchase; so there +would be a real saving, to begin with, in this last +item.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span></p> + +<p>Have your gowns made well, but in a simple style. +There is no reason why you should not display +excellent taste in this matter. But good taste never +chooses staring colours or extreme styles which are +likely to attract notice and encourage rude remarks +on the <i>fast</i> appearance of the wearer. Good taste +never loads poor materials with tawdry trimmings, +which only make a dress look shabby the sooner, and +are equally costly and useless. Good taste and good +sense alike suggest that our clothing should be in +accordance with our means, and fitted for the work +we have to do and the position we occupy in the +world.</p> + +<p>The above rules apply equally to every article +worn. Never sacrifice the comfort of having a good +supply of warm, well-made underclothing, and of +being neatly and strongly shod, for the sake of mere +outside finery, such as you are perhaps half-ashamed +to wear, knowing that it is unsuitable, and wholly +afraid to be seen in by your hard-working, sensible +mother.</p> + +<p>Lastly, save the money to pay for what you buy +at the time when you get it. Those who have to run +into debt usually pay dearly for the accommodation, +and especially those who can least afford the extra +price. Tradesmen know quite well that they run +some risk in trusting young girls, who generally have +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span>nothing but their wages to fall back upon, and whom +sickness might deprive of the power to earn any. +Extra risks must mean the putting on of extra +profits, and thus those who run into debt pay a +higher price for their articles than those who go +money in hand.</p> + +<p>Now a word about visitors. Some mistresses +draw a very hard-and-fast line on this subject, and +will allow none. Servants may visit their friends +at stated intervals, but they are forbidden to receive +even those nearest and dearest to them under the +roof which shelters themselves. Most mistresses, I +believe, act differently from this, and, considering +what their own children would feel if they were +amongst strangers, allow all reasonable liberty in +this respect. A right-minded girl will never abuse +this privilege, or try to introduce into the house of +her employers any person of whose presence they +would be likely to disapprove.</p> + +<p>Remember, it is your duty to fall in with the rules +of the household in which you serve, and employers +have often very good reasons for such as may appear +too strict in your eyes. In this, as in all your dealings, +act straightforwardly, and never bring in a +visitor by stealth, or in the absence of the family. +Many a robbery has been successfully carried out +through the folly of young servants who have listened +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span>to the flattering words of chance acquaintances +whose real object was to obtain a knowledge of the +premises, and to find out where the valuables were +kept. Through such visitors a servant’s character +has been lost, and a girl who would not have taken +a farthing dishonestly has been suspected of being +an accomplice of thieves, and punished as such.</p> + +<p>When visitors come by permission of the mistress, +I think the latter should always see them, say a few +words of kindly welcome, ask after the other members +of the absent family, and thus manifest her +interest in what gives pleasure to her maid. She +will not be the worse served for doing this, and for +showing that, amid her own household cares and +occupations, she has a heart large enough and warm +enough to sympathise with the joys and sorrows of +all around her.</p> + +<p>But there may be, and I trust there often is, a far +stronger bond of union between mistress and servant +than any which could result from the mere fact of +being placed in these relations one towards another. +It is not work well done and wages regularly paid—not +the mere ministering on the one hand and being +ministered to on the other—not the being members +of the same household band and dwelling under the +same roof, which can create this bond of union to +which I have alluded.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span></p> + +<p>No, there is something better still. It is the recognition +of the great truth that, while there may be a +difference in our social positions and duties here, we +are alike servants of a Heavenly Master. If we are +both Christians we are sisters in Christ, members of +one body, and looking to one glorified Head, children +of the same family, with God Himself for our Father.</p> + +<p>Some years ago I read a brief extract from an +article which was published in one of the reviews—I +think the <i>Nineteenth Century</i>—and by a lady writer. +Though I never read the whole article, I remember +the little portion I did see, and how the author suggested +that we mistresses should give our servants +a share with ourselves in some special Christian +work, such as visiting and relieving the sick poor, +etc. She also stated her belief that no lady’s work +could have its full value unless united with such help, +and no relations with outside helpers could equal +those which might subsist between Christian mistress +and maid, living under one roof, knowing each +other’s weaknesses, and engaged in a work where +the one who in other respects was first might be last, +and the last first.</p> + +<p>I have no copy of the words, and do not profess to +quote them literally. But I remember the impression +they produced on my mind, because they agreed +not only with my own opinion, but with my practice +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span>and the experience of years. I read the words aloud +to a young girl who was at the moment preparing +the table for dinner, and, as I finished them, said,—</p> + +<p>‘We realized the truth of what this lady has +written a long time ago, did we not?’</p> + +<p>‘Yes, indeed,’ she said, her face glowing with +honest pleasure, for she was and is my willing and +capable helper in the conduct of a large mothers’ +meeting—entering heart and soul into the work, +respected and loved by the members of the class.</p> + +<p>And those who are at home whilst she and I are +at the class help also, for they take the share of work +which does not belong to their departments during +her absence. I am thankful to say that we never +hear any one of them say, ‘It is not my place,’ but +that they work together as members of a family, +and, above all, as God’s children.</p> + +<p>Years before, another girl who is now a happy +wife and mother, rendered me the same kind of +help at the class, and with equal interest and heartiness.</p> + +<p>Going further back still, there comes before my +mind’s eye the picture of a bright young face, that +of a housemaid then in our service. I was ailing +for some time and unable to go out on Sunday evenings; +and when it was this girl’s turn to stay in the +house, I always called her to sit with me, that we +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span>might talk, read, and pray together. I do not +remember ever spending evenings at home with more +true pleasure and spiritual profit than these.</p> + +<p>The girl was such a bright Christian; and when +she began to speak of the way in which she had been +led to realize the great love of our Father, God, in +giving His dear Son to die for sinners, and of her +share in that finished work, I used to think her dear, +earnest face was one of the sweetest pictures that +my eyes ever rested upon.</p> + +<p>I never think of her without remembering the +happy seasons of truly Christian communion we +enjoyed, and offering a prayer that her influence in +her own home may always be an equally blessed and +useful one to what it was in ours. She would teach +our children sweet hymns, both words and tunes, and +it used to be delightful to hear her rich, full voice +mingling with their childish ones in songs of praise +to God.</p> + +<p>At that time a very dear friend, a clergyman, was +a frequent visitor at our house. None of our servants +attended his church, but he never crossed our threshold +without saying a few kind words to whichever +he happened to see. He would ask after their health +with the same courtesy that he manifested towards +the heads of the family, and contrive, in a few syllables, +to show them that he was ever solicitous to +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</span>leave a little message from his Divine Master, to sow +a little seed which might produce fruit to His glory, +and for the good of an immortal soul.</p> + +<p>How this was appreciated by our girls, and especially +by the dear lassie to whom I have alluded! +How she would try to repay the interest thus +manifested by the most thoughtful attentions that +she could show when waiting at table! The clergyman’s +health was failing at the time, and he was +ordered to winter abroad. On his return, the young +waitress was the first to see him approaching the +house, and, noticing that our dear friend was looking +weaker and more worn than when he left England, +she came to me sobbing and with her good, true face +expressing the deepest sorrow.</p> + +<p>I thought she must have received bad news from +home, but as soon as she could answer she explained +the cause of her tears. ‘It is not that,’ she said. +‘<i>They</i> are all well; but Mr. —— is coming up the +walk, and he is looking worse than ever. He is +stooping like quite an old man. I am so sorry, I am +so sorry. He is so kind and good.’ Some one else +had to answer the door to our friend, who, not seeing +the usual face, inquired after the girl. He was +deeply touched on finding that her tears and trouble +on his account had made her absolutely unable to +meet him.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</span></p> + +<p>During dinner, when the girl was in attendance, +it was pleasant to see the manner in which she +showed her grateful sympathy by anticipating the +clergyman’s slightest want, by offering a little dainty +dish in a sort of beseeching way, and venturing to +hint that it was ‘very nice,’ as she lingered a moment +to see if he would recall his first refusal.</p> + +<p>Our friend’s wan face lighted with a kindly smile +as he said, ‘I <i>must</i> taste this, as you say it is so +good;’ and he helped himself to a small portion, to +the girl’s great delight.</p> + +<p>Afterwards he spoke of this little incident, and of +the true sympathy with his weakness and suffering +which she manifested in every word and act.</p> + +<p>‘In these days,’ he said, ‘a kind of stony unconsciousness +is generally required in table attendants. +But for my part, I would rather have your bright-faced +waitress, whose countenance is perpetually +reflecting the quick sympathies of her true, warm +heart, than a whole regiment of well-drilled waiting +machines.’</p> + +<p>Do not imagine for an instant that this sympathy +in work and consequent familiar intercourse ever made +our servants less obedient or respectful. The contrary +was the case. Communion in Christian work, +life, and aim, whilst it will bring about frequent and +close familiar intercourse between mistress and maid, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</span>would be the last thing in the world to engender the +sort of familiarity which ‘breeds contempt.’</p> + +<p>No. This kind of union will be productive of +mutual and ever-growing affection and respect, and +will alike tend to the well-being of the family itself, +and of all who are brought within the sphere of its +influence. Those who are Christ’s servants are +always more faithful to their earthly employers than +are any others. Those who, filling the place of +mistresses, most earnestly desire to serve the Lord, +are ever the most patient in dealing with others, +and most truly reasonable in their requirements.</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_IX"> + CHAPTER IX. + <br> + <small>‘FOLLOWERS’—HELPS TO YOUNG SERVANTS—GIFTS + FROM VISITORS.</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap9.png" width="52" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="hidden-chars upper-case">‘N</span><span class="upper-case">o</span> followers allowed.’ +</p> + +<p>These words form no unfrequent ending to +an advertisement in that column wherein the +wants of mistresses are specially set forth. The +expression is very comprehensive, and no doubt +intended to take in visitors of every class that might +be likely to inquire for a servant. But in most +minds the word ‘follower’ has its particular as well +as its general meaning, and one always associates +it with a masculine hanger-on.</p> + +<p>In a former chapter of this volume I said a few +words about general visitors, and what should be the +conduct both of mistresses and maids with regard to +them. Now we will consider the ‘follower’ who may +be trying to gain the affection of one of our servants, +or be actually engaged to her.</p> + +<p>We who are mothers know by experience how +deep is the interest excited throughout the whole +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span>family by the engagement of a much-loved child, +especially that of a daughter. Perhaps it is even +greater than in the case of a son, though our boys +and girls are equally dear to us. But there is a +difference in the way we look at them when the time +comes for marrying and giving in marriage.</p> + +<p>Probably for years before our son takes such a +step he has been going in and out in the world, +playing the man’s part, and fighting its battles side +by side with other men. From protecting them as +she used to do, the gentle mother has learned to +look up to her stalwart sons as the ones on whom, +next to the father, she might herself lean. And +when one of her boys goes out from the old roof to +a home of his own, it is to take under his firm, but, +we trust, tender guardianship, the daughter of some +other loving mother. The son leaves father and +mother, and cleaves to the wife whom he is pledged +to protect, to comfort, to cherish, and to keep while +life lasts.</p> + +<p>But the daughter’s out-going is different. She +leaves the shelter of her old home, and the loving +arms of the parents whose tender foresight has +hitherto anticipated her wants and shielded her +from every blast of trouble or temptation that human +guardians have power to turn aside.</p> + +<p>The boy went out years ago, rejoicing in his youth +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span>and masculine strength, and proud to put it to the +proof. The girl, when she passes from the roof of +her parents to be mistress under that of a husband, +often goes out to act an independent part for the +first time in her life. Feeling doubtful as to her +perfect fitness for the solemn duties before her, she +looks back for counsel and guidance to the one who, +if a true mother, has ever been ready with both. +And the mother, if she is also a wise one, will advise +without interfering, and influence for good without +intruding on the almost sacred independence of her +child’s new position and the privacy of her home.</p> + +<p>Naturally, from the very instant that the daughter +is sought, the mother is on the alert to satisfy herself +as to the worthiness of him who seeks to win her +child. The subject is all-important, for it involves +the happiness or misery of her darling’s future life, +and, as a matter of sympathy, will seriously affect +her own. Should she believe the individual unworthy, +what efforts will she not make to shield her +child from the evil which would result from a connection +with him? If otherwise, how the mother’s +memory goes back to her own young days, and, in +the happiness of her daughter, lives them over again. +Her heart expands to take in another son, her mind +is full of plans on behalf of her darling, and she +rejoices over her and with her with exceeding joy.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span></p> + +<p>Why have I written all this about mother and +daughter, and of the days when the girl is sought, +wooed, and won? What has this to do with the +little maid in the kitchen, or the neat-handed Phillis +who waits so deftly at table, and who, while constrained +to look unconscious, is very wide awake as +to what is going on, and, for reasons of her own, +very full of sympathy? Why? Because surely the +mother whose interest in her own daughter’s welfare +is so deep and absorbing, should have a little care +and sympathy and interest to spare for her young +kitchen-maid or pretty waiting damsel, whose circumstances +are in some respects similar to those of +her darling girl.</p> + +<p>These have had to leave their mothers very early +in life. Often when they are still children, barely in +their teens, the young creatures have begun breadwinning, +and learned to shift and act for themselves +when they most needed the mother’s eye to watch +over them, and the wise word which might have +kept many a wanderer from straying into dangerous +paths. Surely, when we take these girls to be +members of our households, we should try not only +to guard the safety of our homes, but the safety and +purity of these daughters of far-away mothers.</p> + +<p>The rule, ‘No followers allowed,’ carried out with +rigid particularity, may preserve our houses from +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span>idle or dangerous intruders; but, on the other +hand, it throws our young servants more into the +power of worthless and dissolute young men, who +seek their company with no good intentions towards +them. Sometimes, perhaps, such followers may +only want to while away an idle hour in the company +of a bright girl with a pretty face, and the +girl may think no harm can result from merely +talking to, or walking out with, one of whom she +knows almost nothing, and whose acquaintance she +has made in the street.</p> + +<p>But the end of such intercourse is often very sad, +too sad to say much about in these pages. Often +the young, ignorant country girl, new to town service +and city ways, is induced to accompany her ‘follower’ +to some objectionable place of amusement. She +stays out later than the appointed hour for her +return, and gets into disgrace with her employers, +who threaten dismissal should the offence be repeated.</p> + +<p>Perhaps the ‘follower’ next waylays the girl as +she is going on an errand, hears the story of her +mistress’s displeasure, laughs at it, and encourages +the foolish young thing to ‘give it her back.’ The +girl believes what she is told, that she can get as +good a place any day, for there are more places +than servants to fill them. She likes the flattery +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span>which praises her pretty face, and carries out the +evil counsel of the wily tongue.</p> + +<p>Again the mistress has to chide her for her lagging +steps, having been kept waiting whilst her young +messenger spent her time in gossip. The lady has +cause for complaint, and the girl knows it. But +she has been incited to rudeness and rebellion, and +instead of expressing regret, or promising amendment, +she is saucy and defiant at first, then sullen +and disobedient. So begins the trouble which too +often ends in loss of place and character to the girl +herself, and of life-long sorrow to the mother in her +country home.</p> + +<p>This is one instance where a little motherly oversight +and a few wise words spoken kindly and in +season might have saved a young life from blight +and sorrow. I say might, I dare not say would, +because there are girls who are too headstrong to +permit the interference of a mistress in matters with +which they consider she has nothing to do.</p> + +<p>Perhaps the mistress is too much put out by the +girl’s conduct to take this trouble. She sees her +wilful, pert, or sullen, and concludes to let her take +her own way, saying to herself, ‘She will rue it +before long. She will have to pay for her folly and +impertinence, and wish too late that she had valued +the home she now enjoys under this roof.’</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span></p> + +<p>Dear mistresses, let me plead with you on behalf +of these wilful young creatures who rush headlong +into the society and the paths which cannot tend to +good. Do not let their folly influence you to loose +even the weak hold you may have upon them, +without an effort to save them from themselves. +‘Be not overcome of evil,’ but strive ‘to overcome +evil with good.’ You are older, have greater experience, +and should also have more self-control. +So conquer the inclination to be angry, though you +may be justly displeased. Think of your own young +days, when you had, and most likely needed, constant +oversight, patience, and forbearance from a +tender mother. Think how you were guarded all +round from the risks which your young handmaiden, +so early sent out into the world, has to encounter +at every step of her way, and how in turn you guard +your own more favoured children from the chance +of temptation. And thinking of all these things, +lay a kind hand upon the girl’s shoulder. Look +into her face with an expression on yours which +shall tell her that it is because her well-being is dear +to you that you seek her confidence, and desire to +restrain her steps and influence her in the choice of +her companions.</p> + +<p>If you succeed in convincing the girl of your +anxiety for her real good, and save her from the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span>probable consequences of her giddiness and folly, +she will bless you, and most likely repay you by +future faithful service. And if not, you will have +done what you could; and while you may grieve +over your ill success, conscience will approve, and +the effort that sprang from a loving motherly heart +will not be forgotten by the Master you have striven +to obey and imitate.</p> + +<p>As your true friend, dear girls, let me urge you +to receive in a right spirit the advice of your employers, +even in things which you, perhaps, think +outside their province. The daughter, though out +of a mother’s sight, would not say that she was for +that reason freed from a mother’s authority. If, +therefore, a mistress interests herself in your well-being +when you are outside the home, is desirous +that your companions should be of the right kind, +and inquires especially into the character, conduct, +and prospects of any one who may seek you for a +wife, be thankful. Do not think that she does it +out of a prying spirit or to serve any selfish end. +Remember, it is just what she has done in the case +of her own child, and rejoice that she cares enough +for you to be anxious, not only for your present +comfort, but for your life-long happiness.</p> + +<p>Mistresses should encourage, and servants should +practise, perfect openness with regard to ‘followers’ +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span>or engagements. Yet there are faults on both sides, +faults of concealment and of selfishness which ought +not to exist.</p> + +<p>For instance, a young girl engaged herself as +parlour-maid to a lady who was accustomed to keep +her servants a long time and to be most considerate +in her treatment of them. This girl went with an +excellent character. She had given up her place +only because her late employers were removing to +a distance, and she did not wish to leave the neighbourhood. +Her parents’ home was near, and this +seemed quite a sufficient reason why she did not +choose to quit it.</p> + +<p>The girl’s conduct fully justified the character +given, and the lady congratulated herself on having +so easily filled the vacancy caused by the marriage +of a much-valued servant. At the end of two +months, she was amazed at receiving the usual +notice from Hannah that she was about to give up +her place.</p> + +<p>‘Leave in a month!’ said the lady. ‘You cannot +mean it. You are only just settled, as it were, and +I am thoroughly satisfied with the way in which you +do your work. I looked forward to keeping you +for years. What is your reason for wishing to go?’</p> + +<p>The girl hesitated, blushed, and at last owned +that she was going to be married at the month’s end.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span></p> + +<p>Thinking that Hannah must have entered into +the engagement very suddenly, the lady asked her +if she were well acquainted with the character of +the man to whom she was so soon to be united.</p> + +<p>‘Oh dear, yes, ma’am,’ replied Hannah cheerfully. +‘We went to school together when we were quite +little children. We have been engaged five years. +It was because he lived here, and we were going to +be married so soon, that I would not leave this +neighbourhood. I wanted to see to things for our +house, and to help George to choose what was +wanted. I couldn’t have done that if I had been +at a distance, so I took your place just for the three +months, as I didn’t want to be idle or lose that much +<span id="of_wages">of wages</span>.’</p> + +<p>The lady was justly annoyed at the girl’s selfishness, +and said, ‘You ought to have been frank with +me, Hannah, and told me exactly how you were +situated. I little thought, as you went about doing +your duties so well, that all the while you were +simply making a convenience of me and my place +to suit your own.’</p> + +<p>Hannah looked a little ashamed, but, I am afraid, +was better satisfied at having gained her end than +sorry for the annoyance caused to an excellent +mistress.</p> + +<p>Another instance of selfishness which came under +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span>my notice was on the mistress’s side. Her children’s +nurse, who had been most devoted to her young +charges, and stayed several years in her place, +gave notice to leave. She, too, was going to be +married.</p> + +<p>‘How very tiresome!’ said the mistress, with a +look of annoyance and without one sympathetic +word. ‘I never thought you would leave us. But +it is always the way with you servants. You never +think of the inconvenience a change may cause, and +specially in the nursery. There is Harry, poor child! +you know he is so used to you that he will not even +let me attend to him. I wonder you have the heart +to leave him.’</p> + +<p>And the lady left the nursery with an injured +look, to pour out her grievances in the ear of her +husband.</p> + +<p>The nurse had been allowed no chance of reply, +or she could have told that love for the invalid boy +had induced her to put off her marriage for a year, +in order that she might watch him through a critical +period. That her devotion to Harry had supplied +the maternal care the boy needed, but would never +have received from the selfish mother, who would +say, ‘I trust you thoroughly, Jephson.’ Then, with +scarcely a glance at her boy’s face, she would leave +him to the care of the faithful nurse, whilst her +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span>evenings were spent amid gay scenes and under +other roofs than her own.</p> + +<p>No wonder that Jephson felt bitterly the selfishness +and want of sympathy in her butterfly mistress, +and left that house and the children she had tended +with a sore heart and a sense of injustice.</p> + +<p>‘After the way I was treated, I could not have +said another word about my own affairs for the +world,’ she remarked. ‘I just stayed my time, did my +work same as usual, held my tongue, and left when +the day came. And the mistress sent my wages to +me, and never came near to say “good-bye,” or “I +wish you well, Jephson.” It was hard to leave Master +Harry, bless him! and I don’t suppose his mamma +will let him be brought to see me. But I could not +go to that house again, even for the child’s sake, +though I had lived so many years there.’</p> + +<p>No wonder that even love for her nursling was +insufficient to conquer the faithful woman’s sense of +his mother’s selfishness. In this case the servant +would have been only too glad to make her mistress +fully acquainted with her position. But, while the +lady trusted the servant with the care of her children, +she neither felt nor manifested any interest in the +person who had so long relieved her conscience of +a sense of motherly responsibility towards her invalid +boy.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span></p> + +<p>I turn gladly from the last-quoted instances of +selfishness in both mistress and maid, to recall +much more agreeable pictures. I have pleasant +memories of good and modest girls, who gladly +appealed to the older and wiser heads of those they +served, for the advice these were willing to give. +Memories, too, of employers who, having first made +careful inquiries into the characters of their servants’ +suitors, and satisfied themselves of their respectability, +have given them the privileges of seeing the +girls at home, at reasonable times and intervals.</p> + +<p>Surely this is the best way of protecting our +young servants from becoming a prey to the +influence of bad or merely idle hangers-on, whose +acquaintance could not possibly be beneficial. For, +consider, it is no more unsuitable for our servants +to look forward to marriage, as a woman’s natural +vocation, and a fitting end to service, than for our +daughters to expect that they will be wives and +mothers in their turn. Should we like our own girls +to meet their lovers or affianced husbands in the +streets, or in the houses of persons other than parents, +and who have no power to influence them in any +way?</p> + +<p>If our servants have parents living in the neighbourhood, +the responsibility naturally rests upon +them. If not, a mistress can scarcely rid herself of +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span>it, with respect to the young girls in her service. I +acknowledge that there are many drawbacks to the +admission of the servant’s suitor to the master’s roof. +One is often found in the shyness of a kindly, true-hearted +young fellow himself, who means nothing +but what is honourable and right to the girl who has +won his affections. He has, perhaps, never crossed +the threshold of such a house as she inhabits, and he +fears that he should feel very bashful and awkward, +especially in the presence of her fellow-servants.</p> + +<p>As a rule, the girl’s manners are superior to those +of her suitor. She may have come from a home +like his own, and be the less educated of the two, +and yet he is sensible of a difference vastly in her +favour, because daily contact with persons of superior +learning, position, and refinement has effected a great +improvement in her speech and manners. So he is +often the one to shrink from subjecting his country +ways to the scrutiny of city eyes.</p> + +<p>Again, as the kitchen is common ground for all +the servants, there is often a difficulty about the +apartment in which a girl may see her visitor. All +such matters are for separate consideration, and +fellow-servants may act with kindly sympathy and +true delicacy towards each other under such circumstances.</p> + +<p>I have seen difficulties overcome, opportunities a +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span>little out of the common afforded for the young +people to meet respectably. Even an occasional +avoidance of a portion of the grounds by the family +has given Robert an opportunity of enjoying a pleasant +stroll with Mary, or an hour of blissful quiet +beneath the friendly shelter of the little summer-house, +whilst the girl was actually within call the +whole time.</p> + +<p>I have seen mistress and maid go out together +when the latter was about to begin housekeeping, +that the former might give her the benefit of her +greater experience in making purchases for the future +home. I well remember one girl who said, ‘My bit +of money would not have gone nearly so far, if it had +not been for my mistress’s kind advice. I had never +bought things for a house before, and I should have +thought more about looks than service in my purchases. +But she knew all about the quality and +what would suit best, and she was so careful to see +that I got my money’s worth. I don’t know how to +thank her.’</p> + +<p>Was not this a pleasant experience both for mistress +and maid? Was the lady less honoured for her +womanly and motherly conduct by the rest of her +domestics? Or did she receive less willing service, +because she had devoted a portion of time to promote +the comfort of the girl after she had passed +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span>from under her roof? Assuredly not. Every act +that shows recognition of one common humanity, +and sympathy with its best and holiest feelings, not +only diffuses happiness, but brings it to ourselves, +and wins for us more hearty service.</p> + +<p>I never like to turn from a pleasant picture to an +ugly one, but I feel bound to give both sides. The +rigid rule, ‘No followers allowed,’ is very often made +and enforced, because the confidence of employers +has been abused and kindness encroached upon. +Trustworthy domestics pay penalty for the faults of +others; and those who think the rule too severe, and +are too upright to attempt evasion, will not take +service where it is in operation.</p> + +<p>I knew one young girl who applied for a situation, +and was told by the mistress that no servants’ visitor, +male or female, was ever allowed under her roof. +‘Then I need not trouble you any further, ma’am,’ +said the girl very respectfully. ‘I have been engaged +for three years to a young man whose character will +bear looking into. We cannot marry for years to +come, unless some change should take place, for he +has a widowed mother to help, and two of her boys +are not old enough to earn anything yet. But I am +going to wait for him, if it be for ten years more. In +my last place, James was allowed to come and see +me at suitable times. He wanted nothing else, and +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span>he never had a crumb in the house except the lady +herself wished him to stay to a meal, and asked him. +My own parents live a long way off, and James’s +mother too far for me to go to her house. He must +come to me, and I have too much respect for him +and myself to have a meeting-place, like many girls +do.’</p> + +<p>‘What do you mean by a meeting-place?’ asked +the lady, interested by the girl’s frank words and +honest face.</p> + +<p>‘You know, ma’am, that young people may meet +in the street, but they can’t stop there in all +weathers, they must be under cover; and if they +have no proper friends, they perhaps go to a public-house, +or some place of amusement. It must be a +cheap one, as they cannot afford to spend much +money, and sometimes it is not a very good one, +either for young men or girls. But what else is +there? Well, some woman—maybe your charwoman, +or laundress, or greengrocer’s wife—lets the young +people have a place to sit and talk in, and they pay +her for it, often enough with food or odds and ends +that belong to their mistress.’</p> + +<p>The lady reflected for a moment. She remembered +instances of mysterious disappearances and +extravagances which could never be accounted for, +and then began to ask herself whether it might not +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span>be worth her while to relax the rule about visitors. +She had taken servants before, who professed to +agree to everything and promised everything; but +the result had been deceit and frequent changes. +Here was this girl, who brought a good character, +whose honest face commended her at once, but who +would not promise observance of the rule, ‘No +followers allowed.’ Surely she would be better +worth having than many plausible but unreliable +applicants for the place, who professed to look +shocked at the very suggestion of male visitors.</p> + +<p>‘I think I will see your late mistress,’ she said; +‘and if I find that you have never abused the liberty +she allowed, I may give the same.’ The girl’s face +brightened, as she replied,—</p> + +<p>‘I shall be very glad, ma’am. You will find I +have told you the truth. I should not be seeking a +new place, but my mistress is giving up her own +house to live with two unmarried sons at a distance.’</p> + +<p>Inquiry satisfied the lady, and she engaged the +girl, who years afterwards married from the house, +and carried with her to her new home many marks +of goodwill from her employers.</p> + +<p>In the matter of ‘followers’ I do not for a moment +presume to say that one rule could possibly apply in +all cases. I merely give real instances and experiences, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span>and leave mistresses and maids to act and +judge for themselves. Only to the former I would +say again, ‘Remember your own young days. Think +of your own daughters, and, as you would lead them +aright and shield them from evil, strive to advise and +influence your servants. Not by continual preaching. +Say the word in season, and say it in such a manner +that the girls may be convinced that you speak from +a real desire to benefit them, not yourselves.’</p> + +<p>And, dear girls, be true. Do not make promises +for the sake of securing a place, when you never +intend to keep them. But if the rules of a house +are such as you could not conform to, follow the +example of the girl I have told you about. Explain +your position candidly and respectfully, and leave +the lady to decide whether it is worth her while to +relax a rule in favour of you or not.</p> + +<p>I might suggest one or two safeguards to young +girls fresh from the country. Many of you have +been Sunday scholars, and some would like to continue +such, were the opportunity allowed you. Ask +for it, and probably you will find that mistresses will +make a little sacrifice, in order to promote what +must tend to their servants’ benefit. If girls of their +own accord ask for continued opportunities of instruction +in God’s Word, and prefer the Sunday-school +or adult Bible-class to the streets when it is +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span>their day out, I think most mistresses would gladly +encourage such a preference.</p> + +<p>Young Welsh girls, in particular, will often +sacrifice something in order to be near a place of +worship where service is conducted in their native +tongue, and they show how they value the Sunday-school +by continuing as scholars years after the +usual age of leaving. Since those whom they meet +must have similar tastes, this fact secures for them +the kind of associates that Christian employers would +choose for their servants.</p> + +<p>The Girls’ Friendly Society (see No. 168 of <i>The +Girls’ Own Paper</i>) offers great advantages to such +as are at a distance from home and friends. It is +for the benefit of young persons in business, mill-hands, +and even workhouse girls, as well as domestic +servants; and I would advise all who are eligible +to join it. It is for young people of all religious +denominations.</p> + +<p>Above all other guides and helpers, however, let +me impress upon you, dear girls, the importance of +seeking the aid of the Holy Spirit at every step of +your way. If there is one act which is all-important, +surely it is that which links your fate and your +future life with that of a partner who must be yours +for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness +and in health. Do not, then, begin an acquaintance +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span>without considering the end, and asking yourself +whether it will tend to your spiritual good; whether +it will merely give you a husband, or unite you to +one who will walk with you on the narrow path +that leads to everlasting life, will strengthen your +steps, and help you, day by day, to love God more +and serve Him better. Marriage is either the best +and holiest of earthly ties, or it differs widely from +what our loving Father in heaven meant it to be.</p> + +<p>May all who read these chapters be kept from +entering on such solemn obligations without earnest +thought and prayer, and, whatever be the worldly +advantages, may they only contract such marriages +as they feel that God will indeed own and bless!</p> + +<p>I have been much touched by the conduct of +girls, themselves quite young, towards the still +younger sisters left in the old home. The eldest +of a family who gets a situation and does well, +frequently sends for her sisters in turn, and helps +them to obtain employment. Sometimes a first +place has not been a success, or the younger girl +has not had sufficient experience to fill it properly, +and leaves after a brief term of service. Then the +elder has a painful sense of responsibility, lest the +young one should come to harm. I have known +mere girls watch over such juniors with a tender +care exceeding that of some mothers. Sometimes, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span>they have deprived themselves of really needed +articles to help out the new-comer’s wardrobe; they +have paid for decent lodgings for her, and even +undertaken to settle the doctor’s bill in a case of +sickness.</p> + +<p>I once remonstrated with a young girl about doing +too much, as I feared that her sister did not appreciate +her self-denial. ‘Had you not better send her +home again?’ I said. Tears came into the girl’s +eyes as she said, ‘There are so many of them at +home, and I brought her here to relieve father and +mother. I will not send her back to them if I can +help it.’ I admired the self-devoting goodness of +this dear girl, and rejoiced with her when she at +length saw her young sister in a good place and +under the wise supervision of an excellent mistress.</p> + +<p>In such a case as the above, a lady might render +a real service to a good servant by allowing a young +sister to spend a few days in her house, whilst on the +look-out for a fitting situation. A mistress might +also assist her servants to save out of their wages +by allowing a sewing maid to cut out a bodice +pattern, and show a girl how to put the parts of a +plain frock together.</p> + +<p>I have been urged to add a few words on the +subject of visitors’ presents, or I scarcely think I +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span>should do so. The word ‘vails’ is little used now, +but it was common enough when I was a girl +amongst people older than myself. I cannot tell +why it was applied in such a manner, but, as ‘to +vail’ or ‘veil’ means to hide, I think the name +must have been given to visitors’ presents, because +the money was generally slipped quietly from hand +to hand, so that no bystander would see the coin +in its passage. We use a much less pretty word +now, and speak of giving ‘tips’ to porters at railway +stations, or any persons whom we wish to receive +recompense for personal service.</p> + +<p>I would first say a word on this subject to servants. +When you are engaged, it is an understood +thing that visitors under your employers’ roof shall +receive during their stay all the attention that would +be expected were they members of the family. They +are such for the time, and as the master and mistress +generally show particular anxiety for the comfort +of the guests, the right-minded, unselfish servant +will do the same. She, too, will be extra attentive, +if she only realizes that she is a member of the +family herself, and should act as entering into the +feelings of those who fill the highest places in the +common home. And if it should happen that in +the end she receives no gift from the parting guest, +surely she will not feel quite unrewarded? She will +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span>have pleased her employers, done as she would be +done by when under a roof not her own, and added +much to the comfort of the temporary sojourner.</p> + +<p>I do not for a moment intend to suggest what +amounts should be given, or to which servants, when +presents are made. But it often happens that, when +leaving, a visitor only sees one servant, yet feels +that more have contributed to her comfort. Perhaps +she does not like to ask for the others, or they are +so engaged that she cannot see them, and she gives +the amount she intended to divide to the one only, +without expressing any wish as to its being shared +with the rest.</p> + +<p>Under such circumstances, whilst no one could +deny a servant’s right to keep what was given, I do +think that a conscientious, unselfish girl would share +it with such other members of the household as she +knew had shared the extra work caused by the +presence of visitors.</p> + +<p>It is quite a different matter where unusual services +have been rendered by one above the rest, or +in cases of illness, where the attendance has quite +exceeded that to be expected under ordinary circumstances.</p> + +<p>I can say, with true pleasure, that I have often +seen these extra services rendered with such single-hearted +kindness, such self-forgetfulness and devotion, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</span>that no one could imagine the thought of fee +or reward to be associated with them.</p> + +<p>And I have also seen a miserable spirit of jealousy +amongst fellow-servants at any little preference +shown, even when the recipient had well merited it +by her thoughtful attentions. I have seen kitchen +servants come forward when a visitor was leaving, +and ostentatiously profess to help with the luggage, +when any one could see that such aid was not necessary. +I have noticed others push to the front, and +give some little, quite needless, touch to a visitor’s +wrap, in order to attract attention and gain a coveted +‘tip.’</p> + +<p>These are little meannesses, dear girls, against +which I would warn any who may be guilty of them, +and say: ‘Act fairly and unselfishly to each other +when you receive gifts. Render service as if you +found a pleasure in making all around you comfortable, +and not as if your eye were directed towards +the possible “tip” whilst the hand ministered to the +visitors’ wants.’</p> + +<p>I have delightful memories of very different conduct: +of smiling faces, feet quick to run, and willing +hands; hands, too, that, instead of being eagerly +outstretched to receive, have shrunk from receiving, +and kindly tongues which have said, as if they meant +it, ‘Indeed, ma’am, I don’t desire anything. It has +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</span>been a real pleasure to do anything for you, and I +hope I shall soon have it again.’</p> + +<p>Sometimes, however, servants can hardly have +such a feeling towards guests, because they do not +act so as to deserve it. If servants can display little +meannesses, so do those who ought to set them a +better example. They will not only receive, but +exact, many extra attentions; and when the time +comes to say ‘good-bye’ to their entertainers, they +will not notice those who have ministered to their +comfort, or even give what costs nothing—a word +of thanks.</p> + +<p>Now I hold that a true lady will show her good +breeding all round, and that a true Christian will +show consideration for the feelings of all with whom +she has to do. When she is leaving a place, she +will say a farewell word to the servants; and in +bestowing her present, whether little or much, she +will add to it the thanks for kind attentions which +by a right-minded girl will be valued more than +the money. Even if the parting guest’s circumstances +are such that she is unable to bestow money, +do not let her on that account omit the thanks +which show that she appreciates and is grateful +for attentions received. By such neglect she would +give pain, and probably be set down as ‘no lady;’ +not because of her want of money, but of the kindly +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</span>courtesy which is equally becoming to those of high +and low degree.</p> + +<p>Servants should also remember that a small parting +gift is often no gauge of the giver’s generosity +or good-will. It probably costs the person of small +means far more self-denial than does the lavish gift +of some richer guest, who can bestow it without any +personal inconvenience or being conscious of a +difference.</p> + +<p>To sum up the matter, let me repeat, ‘Care for +your employers’ visitors in the best way possible to +you, and so give them increased comfort and yourselves +the pleasure of contributing to the brightness +of their sojourn.’ If you receive no other reward, +you will have the satisfaction which generous, loving +hearts always experience in having given good +measure, whether it be of merchandise or of work. +For, remember, ‘With what measure ye mete, it shall +be measured to you again.’</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_X"> + CHAPTER X. + <br> + <small>THE ONE SOURCE OF STRENGTH.</small> + </h2> +</div> + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap10.png" width="27" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">I have</span> made no attempt to define the duties of +any special household department, or to suggest +what share of work should fall to each servant. +Details must vary a good deal according to the +number employed, and the habits and rules of each +family.</p> + +<p>My object in writing has been to offer such advice +to servants, and particularly to young ones, as may +help them to take a higher view of their position, its +trusts and responsibilities. To show them first how +great is the influence they possess, and, secondly, how +they may use it for good.</p> + +<p>Such little word-pictures as I have drawn, by way +of illustrating my meaning, are all from real life and +personal experience. I trust they may serve either +as examples or warnings to those who look on them +with an understanding eye.</p> + +<p>I have wished to show girls in service that the very +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</span>simplest household work may be performed in such a +manner as not only to please your earthly employers, +but to glorify your Master in heaven.</p> + +<p>What must you be in order to do this? Faithful, +obedient, honest, and upright, true in word and deed; +forbearing, kind, ready to forgive; unselfish in your +dealings with your fellow-servants, loving to the little +ones of the household; merciful to the dumb animals +which depend on human care, careful of the property +committed to your keeping; doing whatever you +find to do in a large-hearted, loving spirit, so that +those who see you will acknowledge that thus you +are striving to adorn the doctrine of God your +Saviour in all things.</p> + +<p>Not in great things only. To do great things is +the lot of but few. It is the doing well the work +belonging to our own place in the world which alone +is required from us. Remember the words used by +Jesus in the parable of the talents. To the servant +who had received but two, yet had turned them to +the best account in his power, they were spoken, the +same as to him who had received five:—</p> + +<p>‘Well done, good and faithful servant: thou hast +been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler +over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy +Lord.’</p> + +<p>I fancy I hear some young voices addressing me +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</span>thus:—‘You set before us a high standard; how +shall we reach it? You own that we have difficulties +to struggle with; that we have many things to hinder +us, and so much both to learn and to unlearn. Some +of us come from poor homes at first, and have had +very little training to fit us for service. We have +idle and careless habits to amend, self-indulgent ones +to fight against.</p> + +<p>‘Many of us have been little used to think before +speaking, or to fight against hasty tempers.</p> + +<p>‘Perhaps we do not think as kindly of our mistresses +as we ought; but consider them more our +enemies than friends, and that their object is to get +as much work out of us as they can, and return us as +little.</p> + +<p>‘We have heard people talk of servants as domestic +plagues, and the “servants’ question” is often discussed +as though we had no feelings at all, or else all +the bad ones.</p> + +<p>‘No doubt we often try the patience of our mistresses +by our mishaps and mistakes. But if only +they would not expect us who have not had half +their advantages to be perfect, to begin with, we +should not get disheartened and careless about pleasing, +as we often do. We want to do right, but——’</p> + +<p>And the speakers pause, as travellers sometimes +do at the foot of some lofty mountain, in doubt +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</span>whether it will be worth their while to toil onward +and upwards to the summit. Ah! the climber may +not be sure whether, after all his weary steps, the +view will repay him. He may reach the top, and find +himself wrapped in a veil of fleecy mist, through +which his eyes cannot pierce, and he descends sorrowful +and disappointed.</p> + +<p>But those who are toiling heavenward, no matter +how rough the path by which they follow Jesus, can +never be disappointed. Each step made sure renders +the next easier; each fault conquered makes the +victory over another a something to be counted upon. +Was the path of Jesus a smooth one? Had He no +cross to carry before He won the victory over sin, +Satan, death, and the grave, and returned in triumph +to take again the crown eternally His own?</p> + +<p>What was our Master’s source of strength? Was +it not found in frequent prayer, in communion with +God, in being armed with the sword of the Spirit, even +the revealed Word of God, and ever ready to use it?</p> + +<p>Again I think I hear some of you say, ‘We have +very little time or opportunity for private prayer. +We seldom have even a bedroom entirely to ourselves. +At night we are often up late; we must rise +before the rest of the family to prepare what is needed +for their comfort. We feel too tired to rise earlier +still, in order to get the time for prayer. During the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</span>day, if we think we will get a spare half-hour, we are +liable to many interruptions, and the sound of a bell +may call us from our knees almost as soon as we +have bent them at our Father’s footstool. Much +cannot be expected from us—the time we have for +prayer is so short.’</p> + +<p>True; and what a comfort to think that we can +always count on being judged according to our opportunities +by Him to whom all hearts are open and all +desires known! And how sweet to remember that it +is not only our prayers which find utterance, but the +very desires of our hearts which are known to God! +So the longing, earnest wish to be His child, and to +do His will, can be read as plainly as the expressed +petition can be heard by Him.</p> + +<p>Let me ask you: Have you used all the opportunities +you have had? If you have only been able +to call a few moments your own, have you spent them +in asking for the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit, who +will lead you to see your need, sinfulness, helplessness, +and weakness; who will reveal to you that dear +Saviour in whom your wants will be supplied, your +sins pardoned, and strength given you for every good +word and work? Your hands may be busy, but you +may lift up your heart in prayer. You may be working +for an earthly employer, yet holding sweet communion +with your Heavenly Father, God, and King.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</span></p> + +<p>It is not a long prayer that is needed. But in +asking, you must want also; in coming to God, you +must believe in His will and His power to hear, +answer, and save to the uttermost all who approach +Him in the name of Jesus.</p> + +<p>A short time since, I read the following anecdote:</p> + +<p>‘At the battle of Edgehill, brave Lord Lindsay, +with his son, Lord Willoughby, headed the royal +foot-guards. Immediately before charging, he prayed +aloud in these words, “O Lord, Thou knowest how +busy I must be this day. If I forget Thee, do not +Thou forget me.” Then turning to his men, he said, +“March on, boys.”’ I cannot tell you how often +this little story has come into my mind since I read +it, or how frequently I have repeated, from my heart, +the substance of that short prayer, ‘If I forget Thee, +O Lord, do not Thou forget me.’</p> + +<p>And though you and I are placed in very different +circumstances from those in which the brave old +soldier who uttered it found himself, we also must +march to battle every day and hour of our lives—the +world, the sinful desires of our own hearts, and the +temptations of Satan, being the foes we have to face, +and, in God’s strength and by His grace, to overcome.</p> + +<p>We can go to the Bible for samples of short +prayers, which obtained sufficient and speedy answers. +‘God be merciful to me a sinner,’ gained one with +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</span>enough of comfort to send home justified the penitent +publican. At the cry, ‘Lord, save, or we perish,’ +Jesus arose, rebuked the winds and waves, and there +was a great calm. ‘Lord, remember me when Thou +comest to Thy kingdom,’ called back the assurance +from the dying Saviour to the sinner, enduring a +punishment which he owned to be the just reward of +his deeds, ‘This day shalt thou be with Me in paradise.’ +Short petition, and what a brief reply! but +enough to take away the load of guilt, the dread of +coming judgment, and the sting of death itself from +the thief upon the cross.</p> + +<p>Let these examples cheer and comfort you when, +amid the daily occupations of a life of service, you +lament that you have so little time for prayer or quiet +communion with God. If you are in earnest in wishing +for them, you will find more opportunities for +both than you at first imagined to be within your +reach.</p> + +<p>I remember being much struck with a prayer of +which I can only recall a few words, but these always +remain and often recur to my mind: ‘O God, when +Thou comest to number up Thy jewels, do not forget +that I cost Thee as dear as any.’</p> + +<p>Surely if we think what a price has been paid to +redeem a sinner from death, we shall have boldness +to ask that, with His dear Son, God will also, for His +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</span>sake, freely give you all other good things. Do not +be cast down: the way is open, the invitation is for +you, the welcome is certain, and none need be discouraged. +Come in heart, though your hands may +be busy and your feet running to and fro. Lift up +your voice, or your thoughts only, in prayer to God, +though you cannot bend the knee. You will never +come to the Source of strength and be sent away +without a supply, for the fountain of God’s love is +alike eternal and inexhaustible.</p> + +<p>Before I finish this chapter, let me suggest a few +short prayers for your use. We are told ‘in everything, +by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving,’ +to make our requests known unto God. We can +bring the little matters as well as the great things of +our daily life, and these words encourage us not only +to ask but to supplicate, or beg in earnest, that God +will undertake for us. Also in asking for new +mercies, to remember past blessings, and to thank +God for them, whether spiritual or temporal ones.</p> + +<p>When we are dressing in the morning, we may +say,—</p> + +<p>‘O God, I thank Thee for quiet sleep and rest; +for health, strength, safety, friends, food and shelter; +but most of all for the gift of Thy dear Son, my +Saviour.’</p> + +<p>When commencing our daily work,—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</span></p> + +<p>‘O Lord, help me to do everything as for Thee.</p> + +<p>‘To take everything as from Thee.</p> + +<p>‘To use all I have for Thy glory.’</p> + +<p>Through the day, and when in company with +others,—</p> + +<p>‘Help me to act as remembering that Thou God +seest me.</p> + +<p>‘To speak as knowing that Thou hearest every +word.</p> + +<p>‘Create in me a clean heart, O God, for Thou +knowest my inmost thoughts and desires.’</p> + +<p>In time of temptation,—</p> + +<p>‘Help me, O God, to be true and just in all my +dealings, not forgetting that for all my actions I must +give an account unto Thee.’</p> + +<p>If unjustly blamed or provoked,—</p> + +<p>‘O blessed Saviour, help Thy servant to copy Thy +example, and to be like Thee, meek, lowly, patient +under provocation, kind and ready to forgive.’</p> + +<p>If feeling helpless and ignorant,—</p> + +<p>‘What I know not, teach Thou me.’</p> + +<p>If disheartened at the commonness of the work we +have to do,—</p> + +<p>‘O my Father, if I can do but little, help me to do +that little well. If I have but one talent, enable me +to use it for the good of others, the welfare of my +own soul, and, above all, for Thy glory.’</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</span></p> + +<p>Then we should not only pray for ourselves, but as +members of the family we live in, for the parents, +children, our fellow-servants and absent friends, and +as God’s children for all His family everywhere.</p> + +<p>However weary we may be at night, we may say +these few words,—</p> + +<p>‘O God, for Jesus’ sake forgive all I have done +wrong during this day. I thank Thee for all Thy +good gifts, and pray that Thou wilt keep me and all +dear to me in peace and safety, through the hours +of the darkness.’</p> + +<p>As a last thought, I would suggest that if the +mistress will kneel with her maid, and offer their +united requests to God, incalculable benefits would +result to themselves and to the household in which +they rule or serve.</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</span></p> + + + <h2 class="nobreak" id="CHAPTER_XI"> + CHAPTER XI. + <br> + <small>THE LEGAL RIGHTS OF EMPLOYERS AND + EMPLOYED.</small> + </h2> +</div> + + +<div> +<img class="dropcap" src="images/dropcap_chap11.png" width="55" height="90" alt=""> +</div> +<p class="dropcap"><span class="upper-case">According</span> to a learned writer the relationship +of master and servant is one founded on +convenience, whereby a person is directed to +call in the assistance of others where his own skill +and labour will not be sufficient to answer the cares +incumbent on him. It is a relationship which has +existed from time immemorial, though in olden +times the respective positions of a master and his +servant were much more akin to each other than +they are in the present day. Of old the servant was +more in the position of a slave, whose life and body +were entirely at the disposal of his master, but as the +age became more enlightened his position improved. +All traces of slavery in England vanished by the end +of the sixteenth century, and thenceforth the relation +of master and servant became one of pure contract.</p> + +<p>In the present day a servant may, therefore, be +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</span>defined as ‘a person who voluntarily agrees, either +for wages or not, to subject himself at all times +during the period of service to the lawful orders and +directions of another in respect of certain work to be +done.’ It follows from this that a master is a person +who is entitled to give such orders and to have them +obeyed.</p> + +<p>From the foregoing definition it will be seen that +the term ‘servant’ has a very extensive meaning, +and includes every person who is under the orders of +another, no matter what his duties may be; but the +following lines have reference to domestic or household +servants only. Domestic servants are sometimes +called menial servants, but there is a distinction +in the meaning of the two words. The word +‘menial’ has a wider signification than the word +‘domestic,’ and includes it. Every servant who at +all times during the service is under the immediate +control, discipline, and management of his or her +master or mistress, and is liable also to attend +their persons, is a menial servant; whereas those +only who form part of the family household are +domestic servants. There is no hard-and-fast rule as +to who are domestic or menial servants, but each +case depends on its own circumstances. All indoor +servants whose duty it is to attend on their masters +and perform household acts are clearly menial and +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</span>domestic servants, and this will include a coachman +or gardener living in a lodge or other separate +cottage, but it will not include a farm bailiff, though +living in the house. Neither is a governess a menial +servant, from the position she holds in the family of +her employer and in society generally.</p> + +<p>The contract for the hire of a servant by a married +woman as mistress of her husband’s house is a good +and binding one, and her husband will in most cases +be bound by it to pay the servant’s wages; for, +although it is the wife who actually engages the +servant, and who will during the service probably be +the person to whom the servant will look for her +orders, still the wife only acts as her husband’s agent +and by his authority. This authority may be given +expressly or may be implied by circumstances. A +servant, suitable to their degree in life, engaged and +hired by the wife can recover wages from the husband. +Where a husband and wife do not live +together, it depends on the circumstances of the case +whether or not the husband is liable. For instance, +if when living apart the husband allows the wife +sufficient means to enable her to maintain herself in +her proper position, he cannot be made liable for the +wages, nor can he where he has expressly forbidden +his wife to hire a servant, if the latter is aware of the +fact.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</span></p> + +<p>[As this chapter appears in a book devoted to +matters of feminine interest, the word ‘mistress’ will +be used throughout the rest of it instead of master, +though the latter must be understood to be included +and for the same reason the servant will be referred +to by words indicative of the female sex, although +the law laid down is equally applicable to males.]</p> + +<p>With regard to the duration of the period of service, +the contract of hiring between a mistress and +servant is deemed to be a general one, and to last for +the period of a year; and where there is no express +mention made of the time for which the hiring is to +continue, or of the time for giving notice, it is understood +that the hiring is for a year, but may be determined +at any moment by either party giving to the +other a month’s notice, or warning, or a month’s +wages in lieu of notice. Where, however, the duration +of the engagement is expressly mentioned, the +presumption that it is for a year is rebutted; and +where there is nothing to show that it is not intended +to be a yearly hiring, the payment of wages at short +intervals, such as a fortnight or a month, will not +make it less a hiring to last for a year, nor even the +payment of wages by the week, where the engagement +was to be determined by a month’s notice. As +before stated, it is a well-known rule—founded solely +on custom, however—that a contract of service may +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</span>be determined by either the mistress or servant +giving to the other a month’s notice, and at the expiration +of this month, on the servant’s leaving, she +must be paid her full wages up to that time.</p> + +<p>The service may also be determined at a moment’s +notice on payment by the party giving the notice to +the other of a sum equivalent to a month’s wages. +(These remarks do not apply to the case of a mistress +summarily dismissing a servant for misconduct, +which subject will be mentioned later on.) If a servant +gives notice and leaves there and then, she is +entitled to be paid a proportionate part of the wages +accrued since the last day of payment up to the +time of leaving, but in return she must pay her +mistress a month’s wages as compensation for not +serving the month out. If, however, a servant packs +up her boxes and goes away without saying anything +about it, she utterly forfeits all claim to any wages +which have accrued since the last day of payment, +and cannot, after wilfully violating the contract according +to which she was hired, claim the sum to +which her wages would have amounted had she kept +her contract, merely deducting therefrom one month’s +wages.</p> + +<p>Some persons may perhaps think this somewhat +harsh, but it is nevertheless the law, and, moreover, it +is more consistent with honesty and common-sense +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</span>than to allow a servant to break a contract, and at +the same time claim a benefit under it, when upon +simply giving notice to the mistress and paying, or +agreeing to allow the mistress to deduct from the +amount due to her, a month’s wages, she can leave +at any time. The distinction between leaving at a +moment’s notice and leaving without notice at all +may seem to some perhaps rather fine, but the practical +effect of adhering to the strict letter of the law +is merely to compel a servant to give her mistress +notice when she wants to leave, which can be but +little trouble to the servant, and will, in most cases, +save the mistress a good deal of unnecessary trouble +and inconvenience, and perhaps loss. So that if a +servant is paid on the first of each month, and on the +fifteenth of the month she gives notice to leave, she +may go there and then, and the mistress must pay +her the amount of wages earned in those fifteen +days; but the servant must pay the mistress a full +month’s wages as compensation for not staying the +month out. But if, instead of giving notice, the +servant simply goes away without saying a word, in +that case the wages which had accrued between the +first and the fifteenth would be absolutely forfeited.</p> + +<p>The service is also put an end to by the death of +the employer, and, of course, by the death of the +servant. If, therefore, a servant be discharged on the +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</span>death of the employer, she can claim and must be +paid wages from the time of the last payment up to +the death. If, however, the servant is kept on by the +representatives of the deceased to look after things, +she will then be their servant, and they must pay her. +If a servant dies during the service, all wages due to +her up to the time of her death must be paid to her +representatives, who may sue for the same if withheld.</p> + +<p>One of the cases in which erroneous impressions +frequently exist is as to what will justify a mistress +in summarily dismissing a servant. The following +are the principal grounds which will justify the discharge +of a servant at a moment’s notice:—1, Wilful +disobedience to any lawful order; 2, gross moral +misconduct; 3, habitual negligence; 4, incompetence +or permanent incapacity from illness.</p> + +<p>As to wilful disobedience, if a servant will not obey +a lawful order she must suffer for her obstinacy. If +a servant will persist in going out, or standing at the +street door, and such like, after having been forbidden +to do so, such conduct will justify instant dismissal. +In one case a female servant persisted in going out +against her mistress’s orders, though it was to visit a +dying mother, and she was thereupon dismissed. It +was subsequently decided by the judges that such +summary dismissal was justifiable. This case is not +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</span>quoted as an example to others to do likewise, but +simply to show under what circumstances summary +dismissal is justifiable. The mistress’s orders must +be confined to those services for which the servant +was hired, and a mere obstinate refusal to do some +particular act will not justify dismissal, the refusal +must be persistent.</p> + +<p>Again, theft, immorality, drunkenness, and such +like, all constitute good grounds for discharging a +servant. If a servant is grossly rude and insolent, +she may be at once dismissed; and if she is violent, +and uses abusive language to her mistress or one of +the family, the latter may send for a policeman and +give her into custody.</p> + +<p>If a servant will not do her work, or is habitually +negligent in it, she may be sent away at once; but +mere occasional neglect, which does not cause injury, +does not justify instant dismissal without compensation. +And, again, if a servant is hired for a particular +purpose, and proves utterly incompetent to +perform it, this is a good ground for discharge. For +instance, if you engage a cook who represents herself +to be thoroughly proficient and highly trained in the +culinary art, and you pay her high wages, you will be +quite justified in dismissing her if she altogether fails +to redeem her profession in any essential particular. +As a rule, however, it is not safe to dismiss ordinary +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</span>domestics without notice or payment of wages for +incompetence, for it is common knowledge that a +great number of servants offer themselves, and are +hired to perform, services which they are utterly incapable +of rendering. Want of experience, clumsiness, +absence of skill and finish about their work +must be expected when untrained servants at low +wages are hired, and must be taken as part of the +bargain, and it would be safe to dismiss only in the +higher branches of domestic service, when special +knowledge and skill are necessary, but are not forthcoming +in the servant who professed them, as in the +case of the cook just mentioned. Of course, when a +servant is dismissed for any of the above offences, she +forfeits all claim to any wages which have accrued +since the last day of payment, in the same manner as +if she left without notice.</p> + +<p>A temporary illness, with incapacity for work, is +not a good ground for discharging a servant unless +the contract has been rescinded; but permanent illness +is a good ground for dismissal. The wages that +have been earned by the servant up to the time of +the illness must be paid, because it is no fault of hers +that she cannot continue the service; and unless the +contract is put an end to, there is no suspension of +the right to wages because of her illness and incapacity +to work. It may as well be stated here +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</span>that a servant cannot legally compel a master or +mistress to find her medicine when she is sick, or +surgical attendance when she has met with an accident, +unless the illness or accident is the direct result +of fulfilling a lawful command. However, very +slight evidence will fix the master or mistress with +liability, and it is probable that if a servant were ill +and sent for a medical man with the master’s knowledge, +the latter would have to pay for the attendance. +Indeed, in one case a servant was suddenly +taken ill and sent for a doctor, and on the matter +subsequently coming to the master’s knowledge he +sent his own doctor. It was held that he was liable +to pay the surgeon called in by the servant, simply +because his wife knew that he had been called in, and +did not express any disapprobation.</p> + +<p>Now as to character. No mistress is legally bound +to give her domestic or menial servant a character. It +is, however, the duty of a mistress to state fairly and +honestly what she knows of a servant when applied +to by any one who may be about to take the servant +into their employ; and those who are about to employ +them have a corresponding interest in knowing the +truth concerning them, so that they may be rightly +informed as to those who are coming to form part of +their domestic household. Masters and mistresses +should be freely, unreservedly, and truthfully out-spoken +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</span>as to their opinion of those servants who have +left their service, not keeping back that which is unfavourable, +nor speaking ill of them, nor recklessly +exaggerating their faults and shortcomings. For +while the law in the interests of society holds the +communication of the character of servants privileged, +yet a deliberately stated falsehood would be evidence +of malice, and would tend to deprive the communication +of its privilege, and render the person making it +liable to an action at the suit of the servant. The +mistress is in duty bound to state not only what she +knows of the servant at the time of her discharge, +but if she knows of any circumstance subsequently +happening of which the inquirer is entitled to be +informed, also to tell further what she conscientiously +believes to be the case; therefore, if a good character +is at first given, and the mistress subsequently +finds out things unfavourable to the servant, it is +her duty to communicate the discovery to the person +to whom the character has been given.</p> + +<p>Any communication made by a mistress as to the +character of a servant—no matter how damaging +such a character may be—if fairly and honestly +made, is a privileged communication; that is to say, +that such communication will not render the mistress +liable to any action by the servant for slander. This +privilege arises from the duty which, as before stated +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</span>lies upon all mistresses to state fully and fairly the +truth about a servant, whether in her favour or +against her; and a mistress, so long as she does not +go out of her way to injure, need not be afraid of +telling the truth about the real character of any +servant. Any person knowingly giving a false +character to another person about to hire the servant, +if the latter subsequently robs or injures his or her +master or mistress, is guilty of a criminal offence +which renders him liable to a penalty of £20, or +three months’ imprisonment with hard labour. But +a false character <i>bonâ fide</i> believed to be true will +not render the giver so liable.</p> + +<p>When a servant enters into the service of a mistress, +it is her duty to fulfil the engagement to the +best of her ability; to be honest, respectful, and +diligent, to take due and proper care of her mistress’s +property, and to obey all lawful orders. These orders +must be lawful and within the scope of the employment +for which the servant was hired; and no +servant is obliged to obey an order attended with +risk; for instance, a lady’s-maid would not be obliged +to clean the scullery, and such like.</p> + +<p>It is the duty of a master to supply a servant with +proper food and shelter, and to pay the wages agreed +on between them.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</span></p> + +<p>A master may not under any circumstances +chastise a servant, no matter how incorrigible. If +they cannot agree, the servant must be discharged. +A master is not liable to a servant for any injuries +inflicted by fellow-servants in the ordinary discharge +of their duty; for a servant, when he or she engages +to serve, impliedly undertakes as between himself or +herself and the employer to run all the risks of the +service. This branch of the law is, however, somewhat +complicated, and in case of an accident happening, +the liability or non-liability of the master or +mistress would depend so much on the actual circumstances +of the particular case, that it is impossible, +in a chapter of this nature, to lay down any general +rules bearing on the subject; and the only safe +course under such circumstances would be to lay +the case before a solicitor, and be guided by his +advice.</p> + +<p>Lastly, as to the liability of a master or mistress +for the acts of the servant.</p> + +<p>The principle on which a master or mistress is +liable for the actions of their servant is that of agency. +The mere relation of master and servant does not +invest the latter with a right to pledge the master’s +credit; and if the servant purchase goods on credit +without the leave of the master, no liability attaches +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</span>to the latter. But if a master holds out a servant as +his authorized and accredited representative, it is only +right and just that he should accept responsibility for +his acts. For instance, where the master is in the +habit of sending the servant to buy goods upon credit, +and is not in the habit of paying for such goods at +the time of buying, but on a particular occasion does +furnish the servant with money to pay for such goods, +and the servant either loses or steals the money, but +orders the goods, the master is liable, because the +tradesman has been in the habit of supplying goods +on credit. But when the master is in the habit of +supplying his servant with money to pay cash down +for the goods he orders, and the servant steals or +loses the money, but orders the goods, the master +will not be liable, because he has always been in +the habit of sending the servant with the money, +and nothing but the master’s express authority to +the tradesman to supply the goods on credit will +render him liable.</p> + +<p>In conclusion, it may be stated generally that a +master is liable for all the acts of a servant which +come within the scope of the latter’s employment, +however wrongful and negligent such acts may be, +but is not responsible for the wrongful act of a servant +unless that act be done in the execution of the authority +given by him in the course of the employment, +<span class="pagenum" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</span>for beyond the scope of his employment he or she is +as much a stranger to the master as to any third +person, and his or her act cannot, therefore, be regarded +as the act of the master.</p> + + +<p class="center" style="margin-top: 4em; margin-bottom: 4em"> + THE END. +</p> +<hr class="r5"> +<p class="center" style="font-size:small"> + Butler & Tanner, The Selwood Printing Works, Frome, and London. +</p> + + +<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop"> +<div class="chapter"> + <div class="transnote"> +<p class="center ph2">TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES</p> +<p>Adding missing closing quotation mark on page <a href="#Page_117">117</a>, +after “<a href="#of_wages">of wages</a>.”</p> +<p>Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been left unchanged.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 77633 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/77633-h/images/cover.jpg b/77633-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e33497 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/cover.jpg diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap1.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f992b94 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap1.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap10.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap10.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d154784 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap10.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap11.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap11.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d0e1162 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap11.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap2.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e52bf01 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap2.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap3.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap3.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cbf96c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap3.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap4.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap4.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..86adbdd --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap4.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap5.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap5.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7738bc4 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap5.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap6.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap6.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..fcbee09 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap6.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap7.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap7.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..26087c3 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap7.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap8.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap8.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d11cb97 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap8.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap9.png b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap9.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8f41d52 --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/dropcap_chap9.png diff --git a/77633-h/images/i_title.png b/77633-h/images/i_title.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e1168a --- /dev/null +++ b/77633-h/images/i_title.png diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c72794 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This book, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b021df7 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for eBook #77633 +(https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/77633) |
