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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/7758.txt b/7758.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8000fdf --- /dev/null +++ b/7758.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1234 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook Falkland, by E. B. Lytton, Book 2. +#185 in our series by Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: Falkland, Book 2. + +Author: Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +Release Date: March 2005 [EBook #7758] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on May 27, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FALKLAND, BY LYTTON, V2 *** + + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + + + + + +FALKLAND + +By Edward Bulwer-Lytton + + +BOOK II. + +It is dangerous for women, however wise it be for men, "to commune with +their own hearts, and to be still!" Continuing to pursue the follies of +the world had been to Emily more prudent than to fly them; to pause, to +separate herself from the herd, was to discover, to feel, to murmur at +the vacuum of her being; and to occupy it with the feelings which it +craved, could in her be but the hoarding a provision for despair. + +Married, before she had begun the bitter knowledge of herself, to a man +whom it was impossible to love, yet deriving from nature a tenderness of +soul, which shed itself over everything around, her only escape from +misery had been in the dormancy of feeling. The birth of her son had +opened to her a new field of sensations, and she drew the best charm of +her own existence from the life she had given to another. Had she not +met Falkland, all the deeper sources of affection would have flowed into +one only and legitimate channel; but those whom he wished to fascinate +had never resisted his power, and the attachment he inspired was in +proportion to the strength and ardour of his own nature. + +It was not for Emily Mandeville to love such as Falkland without feeling +that from that moment a separate and selfish existence had ceased to be. +Our senses may captivate us with beauty; but in absence we forget, or by +reason we can conquer, so superficial an impression. Our vanity may +enamour us with rank; but the affections of vanity are traced in sand; +but who can love Genius, and not feel that the sentiments it excites +partake of its own intenseness and its own immortality? It arouses, +concentrates, engrosses all our emotions, even to the most subtle and +concealed. Love what is common, and ordinary objects can replace or +destroy a sentiment which an ordinary object has awakened. Love what we +shall not meet again amidst the littleness and insipidity which surround +us, and where can we turn for a new object to replace that which has no +parallel upon earth? The recovery from such a delirium is like return +from a fairy land; and still fresh in the recollections of a bright and +immortal clime, how can we endure the dulness of that human existence to +which for the future we are condemned? + +It was some weeks since Emily had written to Mrs. St. John; and her last +letter, in mentioning Falkland, had spoken of him with a reserve which +rather alarmed than deceived her friend. Mrs. St. John had indeed a +strong and secret reason for fear. Falkland had been the object of her +own and her earliest attachment, and she knew well the singular and +mysterious power which he exercised at will over the mind. He had, it is +true, never returned, nor even known of, her feelings towards him; and +during the years which had elapsed since she last saw him, and in the new +scenes which her marriage with Mr. St. John had opened, she had almost +forgotten her early attachment, when Lady Emily's letter renewed its +remembrance. She wrote in answer an impassioned and affectionate caution +to her friend. She spoke much (after complaining of Emily's late +silence) in condemnation of the character of Falkland, and in warning of +its fascinations; and she attempted to arouse alike the virtue and the +pride which so often triumph in alliance, when separately they would so +easily fail. In this Mrs. St. John probably imagined she was actuated +solely by friendship; but in the best actions there is always some latent +evil in the motive; and the selfishness of a jealousy, though hopeless +not conquered, perhaps predominated over the less interested feelings +which were all that she acknowledged to herself. + +In this work it has been my object to portray the progress of the +passions; to chronicle a history rather by thoughts and feelings than by +incidents and events; and to lay open those minuter and more subtle mazes +and secrets of the human heart, which in modern writings have been so +sparingly exposed. It is with this view that I have from time to time +broken the thread of narration, in order to bring forward more vividly +the characters it contains; and in laying no claim to the ordinary +ambition of tale-writers, I have deemed myself at liberty to deviate from +the ordinary courses they pursue. Hence the motive and the excuse for +the insertion of the following extracts, and of occasional letters. They +portray the interior struggle when Narration would look only to the +external event, and trace the lightning "home to its cloud," when History +would only mark the spot where it scorched or destroyed. + + + +EXTRACTS FROM THE JOURNAL OF LADY EMILY MANDEVILLE. + +Tuesday.--More than seven years have passed since I began this journal! +I have just been looking over it from the commencement. Many and various +are the feelings which it attempts to describe--anger, pique, joy, +sorrow, hope, pleasure, weariness, ennui; but never, never once, +humiliation or remorse!--these were not doomed to be my portion in the +bright years of my earliest youth. How shall I describe them now? I +have received--I have read, as well as my tears would let me, a long +letter from Julia. It is true that I have not dared to write to her: +when shall I answer this? She has showed me the state of my heart; +I more than suspected it before. Could I have dreamed two months--six +weeks--since that I should have a single feeling of which I could be +ashamed? He has just been here He--the only one in the world, for all +the world seems concentred in him. He observed my distress, for I looked +on him; and my lips quivered and my eyes were full of tears. He came to +me--he sat next to me--he whispered his interest, his anxiety--and was +this all? Have I loved before I even knew that I was beloved? No, no; +the tongue was silent, but the eye, the cheek, the manner--alas! these +have been but too eloquent! + +Wednesday.--It was so sweet to listen to his low and tender voice; to +watch the expression of his countenance--even to breathe the air that he +inhaled. But now that I know its cause, I feel that this pleasure is a +crime, and I am miserable even when he is with me. He has not been here +to-day. It is past three. Will he come? I rise from my seat--I go to +the window for breath--I am restless, agitated, disturbed. Lady Margaret +speaks to me--I scarcely answer her. My boy--yes, my dear, dear Henry +comes, and I feel that I am again a mother. Never will I betray that +duty, though I have forgotten one as sacred though less dear! Never +shall my son have cause to blush for his parent! I will fly hence-- +I will see him no more! + + + +FROM ERASMUS FALKLAND, ESQ., TO THE HON. FREDERICK MONKTON. + +Write to me, Monkton--exhort me, admonish me, or forsake me for ever. +I am happy yet wretched: I wander in the delirium of a fatal fever, in +which I see dreams of a brighter life, but every one of them only brings +me nearer to death. Day after day I have lingered here, until weeks have +flown--and for what? Emily is not like the women of the world--virtue, +honour, faith, are not to her the mere _convenances_ of society. "There +is no crime," said Lady A., "where there is concealment." Such can never +be the creed of Emily Mandeville. She will not disguise guilt either in +the levity of the world, or in the affectations of sentiment. She will +be wretched, and for ever. I hold the destinies of her future life, and +yet I am base enough to hesitate whether to save or destroy her. Oh, how +fearful, how selfish, how degrading, is unlawful love! + +You know my theoretical benevolence for everything that lives; you have +often smiled at its vanity. I see now that you were right; for it seems +to me almost superhuman virtue not to destroy the person who is dearest +to me on earth. + +I remember writing to you some weeks since that I would come to London +Little did I know of the weakness of my own mind. I told her that I +intended to depart. She turned pale--she trembled--but she did not +speak. Those signs which should have hastened my departure have taken +away the strength even to think of it. + +I am here still! I go to E------ every day. Sometimes we sit in +silence; I dare not trust myself to speak. How dangerous are such +moments! _Ammutiscon lingue parlen l'alme_. + +Yesterday they left us alone. We had been conversing with Lady Margaret +on indifferent subjects. There was a pause for some minutes. I looked +up; Lady Margaret had left the room. The blood rushed into my cheek--my +eyes met Emily's; I would have given worlds to have repeated with my lips +what those eyes expressed. I could not even speak--I felt choked with +contending emotions. There was not a breath stirring; I heard my very +heart beat. A thunderbolt would have been a relief. Oh God! if there +be a curse, it is to burn, swell, madden with feelings which you are +doomed to conceal! This is, indeed, to be "a cannibal of one's own +heart." [Bacon] + +It was sunset. Emily was alone upon the lawn which sloped towards the +lake, and the blue still waters beneath broke, at bright intervals, +through the scattered and illuminated trees. She stood watching the sun +sink with wistful and tearful eyes. Her soul was sad within her. The +ivy which love first wreathes around his work had already faded away, and +she now only saw the desolation of the ruin it concealed. Never more for +her was that freshness of unwakened feeling which invests all things with +a perpetual daybreak of sunshine, and incense, and dew. The heart may +survive the decay or rupture of an innocent and lawful affection-- +"la marque reste, mais la blessure guerit"--but the love of darkness and +guilt is branded in a character ineffaceable--eternal! The one is, like +lightning, more likely to dazzle than to destroy, and, divine even in its +danger, it makes holy what it sears; but the other is like that sure and +deadly fire which fell upon the cities of old, graving in the barrenness +of the desert it had wrought the record and perpetuation of a curse. A +low and thrilling voice stole upon Emily's ear. She turned--Falkland +stood beside her. "I felt restless and unhappy," he said, "and I came to +seek you. If (writes one of the fathers) a guilty and wretched man could +behold, though only for a few minutes, the countenance of an angel, the +calm and glory which it wears would so sink into his heart, that he would +pass at once over the gulf of gone years into his first unsullied state +of purity and hope; perhaps I thought of that sentence when I came to +you." "I know not," said Emily, with a deep blush at this address, which +formed her only answer to the compliment it conveyed; "I know not why it +is, but to me there is always something melancholy in this hour-- +something mournful in seeing the beautiful day die with all its pomp and +music, its sunshine, and songs of birds." + +"And yet," replied Falkland, "if I remember the time when my feelings +were more in unison with yours (for at present external objects have lost +for me much of their influence and attraction), the melancholy you +perceive has in it a vague and ineffable sweetness not to be exchanged +for more exhilarated spirits. The melancholy which arises from no cause +within ourselves is like music--it enchants us in proportion to its +effect upon our feelings. Perhaps its chief charm (though this it +requires the contamination of after years before we can fathom and +define) is in the purity of the sources it springs from. Our feelings +can be but little sullied and worn while they can yet respond to the +passionless and primal sympathies of Nature; and the sadness you speak +of is so void of bitterness, so allied to the best and most delicious +sensations we enjoy, that I should imagine the very happiness of Heaven +partook rather of melancholy than mirth." + +There was a pause of some moments. It was rarely that Falkland alluded +even so slightly to the futurity of another world; and when he did, it +was never in a careless and commonplace manner, but in a tone which sank +deep into Emily's heart. "Look," she said, at length, "at that beautiful +star! the first and brightest! I have often thought it was like the +promise of life beyond the tomb--a pledge to us that, even in the depths +of midnight, the earth shall have a light, unquenched and unquenchable, +from Heaven!" + +Emily turned to Falkland as she said this, and her countenance sparkled +with the enthusiasm she felt. But his face was deadly pale. There went +over it, like a cloud, an expression of changeful and unutterable +thought; and then, passing suddenly away, it left his features calm and +bright in all their noble and intellectual beauty. Her soul yearned to +him, as she looked, with the tenderness of a sister. + +They walked slowly towards the house. "I have frequently," said Emily, +with some hesitation, "been surprised at the little enthusiasm you appear +to possess even upon subjects where your conviction must be strong." "_I +have thought enthusiasm away!_" replied Falkland; "it was the loss of +hope which brought me reflection, and in reflection I forgot to feel. +Would that I had not found it so easy to recall what I thought I had lost +for ever!" Falkland's cheek changed as he said this, and Emily sighed +faintly, for she felt his meaning. In him that allusion to his love had +aroused a whole train of dangerous recollections; for Passion is the +avalanche of the human heart--a single breath can dissolve it from its +repose. + +They remained silent; for Falkland would not trust himself to speak, +till, when they reached the house, he faltered out his excuses for not +entering, and departed. He turned towards his solitary home. The +grounds at E------ had been laid out in a classical and costly manner +which contrasted forcibly with the wild and simple nature of the +surrounding scenery. Even the short distance between Mr. Mandeville's +house and L------ wrought as distinct a change in the character of the +country as any length of space could have effected. Falkland's ancient +and ruinous abode, with its shattered arches and moss-grown parapets, was +situated on a gentle declivity, and surrounded by dark elm and larch +trees. It still retained some traces both of its former consequence, and +of the perils to which that consequence had exposed it. A broad ditch, +overgrown with weeds, indicated the remains of what once had been a moat; +and huge rough stones, scattered around it, spoke of the outworks the +fortification had anciently possessed, and the stout resistance they had +made in "the Parliament Wars" to the sturdy followers of Ireton and +Fairfax. The moon, that flatterer of decay, shed its rich and softening +beauty over a spot which else had, indeed, been desolate and cheerless, +and kissed into light the long and unwaving herbage which rose at +intervals from the ruins, like the false parasites of fallen greatness. +But for Falkland the scene had no interest or charm, and he turned with a +careless and unheeding eye to his customary apartment. It was the only +one in the house furnished with luxury, or even comfort. Large +bookcases, inlaid with curious carvings in ivory; busts of the few public +characters the world had ever produced worthy, in Falkland's estimation, +of the homage of posterity; elaborately-wrought hangings from Flemish +looms; and French fauteuils and sofas of rich damask, and massy gilding +(relics of the magnificent days of Louis Quatorze), bespoke a costliness +of design suited rather to Falkland's wealth than to the ordinary +simplicity of his tastes. + +A large writing-table was overspread with books in various languages, and +upon the most opposite subjects. Letters and papers were scattered +amongst them; Falkland turned carelessly over the latter. One of the +epistolary communications was from Lord ------, the --. He smiled +bitterly, as he read the exaggerated compliments it contained, and saw to +the bottom of the shallow artifice they were meant to conceal. He tossed +the letter from him, and opened the scattered volumes, one after another, +with that languid and sated feeling common to all men who have read +deeply enough to feel how much they have learned, and how little they +know. "We pass our lives," thought he, "in sowing what we are never to +reap! We endeavour to erect a tower, which shall reach the heavens, in +order to escape one curse, and lo! we are smitten by another! We would +soar from a common evil, and from that moment we are divided by a +separate language from our race! Learning, science, philosophy, the +world of men and of imagination, I ransacked--and for what? I centred my +happiness in wisdom. I looked upon the aims of others with a scornful +and loathing eye. I held commune with those who have gone before me; I +dwelt among the monuments of their minds, and made their records familiar +to me as friends: I penetrated the womb of nature, and went with the +secret elements to their home: I arraigned the stars before me, and +learned the method and the mystery of their courses: I asked the tempest +its bourn, and questioned the winds of their path. This was not +sufficient to satisfy my thirst for knowledge, and I searched in this +lower world of new sources to content it. Unseen and unsuspected, I saw +and agitated the springs of the automaton that we call 'the Mind.' I +found a clue for the labyrinth of human motives, and I surveyed the +hearts of those around me as through a glass. Vanity of vanities! What +have I acquired? I have separated myself from my kind, but not from +those worst enemies, my passions! I have made a solitude of my soul, but +I have not mocked it with the appellation of Peace. + + "Solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant."--TACITUS. + "They make a solitude, and call it peace."--BYRON. + +"In flying the herd, I have not escaped from myself; like the wounded +deer, the barb was within me, and that I could not fly!" With these +thoughts he turned from his reverie, and once more endeavoured to charm +his own reflections by those which ought to speak to us of quiet, for +they are graven on the pages of the dead; but his attempts were as idle +as before. His thoughts were still wandering and confused, and could +neither be quieted nor collected: he read, but he scarcely distinguished +one page from another: he wrote--the ideas refused to flow at his call; +and the only effort at connecting his feelings which even partially +succeeded, was in the verses which I am about to place before the reader. +It is a common property of poetry, however imperfectly the gift be +possessed, to speak to the hearts of others in proportion as the +sentiments it would express are felt in our own; and I subjoin the lines +which bear the date of that evening, in the hope that, more than many +pages, they will show the morbid yet original character of the writer, +and the particular sources of feeling from which they took the bitterness +that pervades them. + + + KNOWLEDGE. + + Ergo hominum genus incassum frustraque laborat + Semper, et in curis consumit inanibus aevum.--Lucret. + + 'Tis midnight! Round the lamp which o'er + My chamber sheds its lonely beam, + Is wisely spread the varied lore + Which feeds in youth our feverish dream + + The dream--the thirst--the wild desire, + Delirious yet divine-to know; + Around to roam--above aspire + And drink the breath of Heaven below! + + From Ocean-Earth-the Stars-the Sky + To lift mysterious Nature's pall; + And bare before the kindling eye + In MAN the darkest mist of all-- + + Alas! what boots the midnight oil? + The madness of the struggling mind? + Oh, vague the hope, and vain the toil, + Which only leave us doubly blind! + + What learn we from the Past? the same + Dull course of glory, guilt, and gloom-- + I ask'd the Future, and there came + No voice from its unfathom'd womb. + + The Sun was silent, and the wave; + The air but answer'd with its breath + But Earth was kind; and from the grave + Arose the eternal answer--Death! + + And this was all! We need no sage + To teach us Nature's only truth! + O fools! o'er Wisdom's idle page + To waste the hours of golden youth! + + In Science wildly do we seek + What only withering years should bring + The languid pulse--the feverish cheek + The spirits drooping on their wing! + + To think--is but to learn to groan + To scorn what all beside adore + To feel amid the world alone, + An alien on a desert shore; + + To lose the only ties which seem + To idler gaze in mercy given! + To find love, faith, and hope, a dream, + And turn to dark despair from heaven! + + +I pass on to a wilder period of my history. The passion, as yet only +revealed by the eye, was now to be recorded by the lip; and the scene +which witnessed the first confession of the lovers was worthy of the last +conclusion of their loves! + +E------ was about twelve miles from a celebrated cliff on the seashore, +and Lady Margaret had long proposed an excursion to a spot, curious alike +for its natural scenery and the legends attached to it. A day was at +length fixed for accomplishing this plan. Falkland was of the party. In +searching for something in the pockets of the carriage, his hand met +Emily's, and involuntarily pressed it. She withdrew it hastily, but he +felt it tremble. He did not dare to look up: that single contact had +given him a new life: intoxicated with the most delicious sensations, he +leaned back in silence. A fever had entered his veins--the thrill of the +touch had gone like fire into his system--all his frame seemed one nerve. + +Lady Margaret talked of the weather and the prospect, wondered how far +they had got, and animadverted on the roads, till at last, like a child, +she talked herself to rest. Mrs. Dalton read "Guy Mannering;" but +neither Emily nor her lover had any occupation or thought in common with +their companions: silent and absorbed, they were only alive to the vivid +existence of the present. Constantly engaged, as we are, in looking +behind us or before, if there be one hour in which we feel only the time +being--in which we feel sensibly that we live, and that those moments of +the present are full of the enjoyment, the rapture of existence--it is +when we are with the one person whose life and spirits have become the +great part and principle of our own. They reached their destination--a +small inn close by the shore. They rested there a short time, and then +strolled along the sands towards the cliff. Since Falkland had known +Emily, her character was much altered. Six weeks before the time I write +of, and in playfulness and lightness of spirits she was almost a child: +now those indications of an unawakened heart had mellowed into a +tenderness full of that melancholy so touching and holy, even amid the +voluptuous softness which it breathes and inspires. But this day, +whether from that coquetry so common to all women, or from some cause +more natural to her, she seemed gayer than Falkland ever remembered to +have seen her. She ran over the sands, picking up shells, and tempting +the waves with her small and fairy feet, not daring to look at him, and +yet speaking to him at times with a quick tone of levity which hurt and +offended him, even though he knew the depth of those feelings she could +not disguise either from him or from herself. By degrees his answers and +remarks grew cold and sarcastic. Emily affected pique; and when it was +discovered that the cliff was still nearly two miles off, she refused to +proceed any farther. Lady Margaret talked her at last into consent, and +they walked on as sullenly as an English party of pleasure possibly could +do, till they were within three quarters of a mile of the place, when +Emily declared she was so tired that she really could not go on. +Falkland looked at her, perhaps, with no very amiable expression of +countenance, when he perceived that she seemed really pale and fatigued; +and when she caught his eyes, tears rushed into her own. + +"Indeed, indeed, Mr. Falkland," she said, eagerly, "this is not +affectation. I am very tired; but rather than prevent your amusement, +I will endeavour to go on." "Nonsense, child," said Lady Margaret, "you +do seem tired. Mrs. Dalton and Falkland shall go to the rock, and I will +stay here with you." This proposition, however, Lady Emily (who knew +Lady Margaret's wish to see the rock) would not hear of; she insisted +upon staying by herself. "Nobody will run away with me; and I can very +easily amuse myself with picking up shells till you comeback." After +along remonstrance, which produced no effect, this plan was at last +acceded to. With great reluctance Falkland set off with his two +companions; but after the first step, he turned to look back. He caught +her eye, and felt from that moment that their reconciliation was sealed. +They arrived, at last, at the cliff. Its height, its excavations, the +romantic interest which the traditions respecting it had inspired, fully +repaid the two women for the fatigue of their walk. As for Falkland, he +was unconscious of everything around him; he was full of "sweet and +bitter thoughts." In vain the man whom they found loitering there, in +order to serve as a guide, kept dinning in his ear stories of the +marvellous, and exclamations of the sublime. The first words which +aroused him were these; "It's lucky, please your Honour, that you have +just saved the tide. It is but last week that three poor people were +drowned in attempting to come here; as it is, you will have to go home +round the cliff." Falkland started: he felt his heart stand still. +"Good God!" cried Lady Margaret, "what will become of Emily?" + +They were--at that instant in one of the caverns, where they had already +been loitering too long. Falkland rushed out to the sands. The tide was +hurrying in with a deep sound, which came on his soul like a knell. He +looked back towards the way they had come: not one hundred yards distant, +and the waters had already covered the path! An eternity would scarcely +atone for the horror of that moment! One great characteristic of +Falkland was his presence of mind. He turned to the man who stood beside +him--he gave him a cool and exact description of the spot where he had +left Emily. He told him to repair with all possible speed to his home +--to launch his boat--to row it to the place he had described. "Be +quick," he added, "and you must be in time: if you are, you shall never +know poverty again." The next moment he was already several yards from +the spot. He ran, or rather flew, till he was stopped by the waters. He +rushed in; they were over a hollow between two rocks--they were already +up to his chest. "There is yet hope," thought he, when he had passed the +spot, and saw the smooth sand before him. For some minutes he was +scarcely sensible of existence; and then he found himself breathless at +her feet. Beyond, towards T----- (the small inn I spoke of), the waves +had already reached the foot of the rocks, and precluded all hope of +return. Their only chance was the possibility that the waters had not +yet rendered impassable the hollow through which Falkland had just waded. +He scarcely spoke; at least he was totally unconscious of what he said. +He hurried her on breathless and trembling, with the sound of the booming +waters ringing in his ear, and their billows advancing to his very feet. +They arrived at the hollow: a single glance sufficed to show him that +their solitary hope was past! The waters, before up to his chest, had +swelled considerably: he could not swim. He saw in that instant that +they were girt with a hastening and terrible death. Can it be believed +that with that certainty ceased his fear? He looked in the pale but calm +countenance of her who clung to him, and a strange tranquillity, even +mingled with joy, possessed him. Her breath was on his cheek--her form +was reclining on his own--his hand clasped hers; if they were to die, it +was thus. What would life afford to him more dear? "It is in this +moment," said he, and he knelt as he spoke, "that I dare tell you what +otherwise my lips never should have revealed. I love--I adore you! Turn +not away from me thus. In life our persons were severed; if our hearts +are united in death, then death will be sweet." She turned--her cheek +was no longer pale! He rose--he clasped her to his bosom: his lips +pressed hers. Oh! that long, deep, burning pressure!--youth, love, life, +soul, all concentrated in that one kiss! Yet the same cause which +occasioned the avowal hallowed also the madness of his heart. What had +the passion, declared only at the approach of death, with the more +earthly desires of life? They looked to heaven--it was calm and +unclouded: the evening lay there in its balm and perfume, and the air was +less agitated than their sighs. They turned towards the beautiful sea +which was to be their grave: the wild birds flew over it exultingly: the +far vessels seemed "rejoicing to run their course." All was full of the +breath, the glory, the life of nature; and in how many minutes was all to +be as nothing! Their existence would resemble the ships that have gone +down at sea in the very smile of the element that destroyed them. They +looked into each other's eyes, and they drew still nearer together. +Their hearts, in safety apart, mingled in peril and became one. Minutes +rolled on, and the great waves came dashing round them. They stood on +the loftiest eminence they could reach. The spray broke over their feet: +the billows rose--rose--they were speechless. He thought he heard her +heart beat, but her lip trembled not. A speck--a boat! "Look up, Emily! +look up! See how it cuts the waters. Nearer--nearer! but a little +longer, and we are safe. It is but a few yards off;--it approaches--it +touches the rock!" Ah! what to them henceforth was the value of life, +when the moment of discovering its charm became also the date of its +misfortunes, and when the death they had escaped was the only method of +cementing their--union without consummating their guilt? + + + +FROM ERASMUS FALKLAND, ESQ., TO THE HON. FREDERICK MONKTON. + +I will write to you at length to-morrow. Events have occurred to alter, +perhaps, the whole complexion of the future. I am now going to Emily to +propose to her to fly. We are not _les gens du monde_, who are ruined by +the loss of public opinion. She has felt that I can be to her far more +than the world; and as for me, what would I not forfeit for one touch of +her hand? + + + +EXTRACTS FROM THE JOURNAL OF LADY EMILY MANDEVILLE. + +Friday.--Since I wrote yesterday in these pages the narrative of our +escape, I have done nothing but think over those moments, too dangerous +because too dear; but at last I have steeled my heart--I have yielded to +my own weakness too long--I shudder at the abyss from which I have +escaped. I can yet fly. He will come here to-day--he shall receive my +farewell. + +Saturday morning, four o'clock.--I have sat in this room alone since +eleven o'clock. I cannot give vent to my feelings; they seem as if +crushed by some load from which it is impossible to rise. "He is gone, +and for ever!" I sit repeating those words to myself, scarcely conscious +of their meaning. Alas! when to-morrow comes, and the next day, and the +next, and yet I see him not, I shall awaken, indeed, to all the agony of +my loss! He came here--he saw me alone--he implored me to fly. I did +not dare to meet his eyes; I hardened my heart against his voice. I knew +the part I was to take--I have adopted it; but what struggles, what +misery, has it not occasioned me! Who could have thought it had been so +hard to be virtuous! His eloquence drove me from one defence to another, +and then I had none but his mercy. I opened my heart--I showed him its +weakness--I implored his forbearance. My tears, my anguish, convinced +him of my sincerity. We have parted in bitterness, but, thank Heaven, +not in guilt! He has entreated permission to write to me. How could I +refuse him? Yet I may not--cannot-write to him again! How could, I +indeed, suffer my heart to pour forth one of its feelings in reply? for +would there be one word of regret, or one term of endearment, which my +inmost soul would not echo? + +Sunday.--Yes, that day--but I must not think of this; my very religion I +dare not indulge. Oh God! how wretched I am! His visit was always the +great aera in the clay; it employed all my hopes till he came, and all my +memory when he was gone. I sit now and look at the place he used to +fill, till I feel the tears rolling silently down my cheek: they come +without an effort--they depart without relief. + +Monday.--Henry asked me where Mr. Falkland was gone; I stooped down to +hide my confusion. When shall I hear from him? To-morrow? Oh that it +were come! I have placed the clock before me, and I actually count the +minutes. He left a book here; it is a volume of "Melmoth." I have read +over every word of it, and whenever I have come to a pencil-mark by him, +I have paused to dream over that varying and eloquent countenance, the +low soft tone of that tender voice, till the book has fallen from my +hands, and I have started to find the utterness of my desolation! + + + +FROM ERASMUS FALKLAND, ESQ., TO LADY EMILY MANDEVILLE. + +------ Hotel, London. + +For the first time in my life I write to you! How my hand trembles--how +my cheek flushes! a thousand, thousand thoughts rush upon me, and almost +suffocate me with the variety and confusion of the emotions they awaken! +I am agitated alike with the rapture of writing to you, and with the +impossibility of expressing the feelings which I cannot distinctly +unravel even to myself. You love me, Emily, and yet I have fled from +you, and at your command; but the thought that, though absent, I am not +forgotten, supports me through all. + +It was with a feverish sense of weariness and pain that I found myself +entering this vast reservoir of human vices. I became at once sensible +of the sterility of that polluted soil so incapable of nurturing +affection, and I clasped your image the closer to my heart. It is you, +who, when I was most weary of existence, gifted me with a new life. You +breathed into me a part of your own spirit; my soul feels that influence, +and becomes more sacred. I have shut myself from the idlers who would +molest me: I have built a temple in my heart: I have set within it a +divinity; and the vanities of the world shall not profane the spot which +has been consecrated to you. Our parting, Emily,--do you recall it? +Your hand clasped in mine; your cheek resting, though but for an instant, +on my bosom; and the tears which love called forth, but which virtue +purified even at their source. Never were hearts so near, yet so +divided; never was there an hour so tender, yet so unaccompanied with +danger. Passion, grief, madness, all sank beneath your voice, and lay +hushed like a deep sea within my soul! "Tu abbia veduto il leone +ammansarsi alla sola tua voce." + + 'Ultime lettere di Jacopo Ortis. + +I tore myself from you; I hurried through the wood; I stood by the lake, +on whose banks I had so often wandered with you: I bared my breast to the +winds; I bathed my temples with the waters. Fool that I was! the fever, +the fever was within! But it is not thus, my adored and beautiful +friend, that I should console and support you. Even as I write, passion +melts into tenderness, and pours itself in softness over your +remembrance. The virtue so gentle, yet so strong; the feelings so kind, +yet so holy; the tears which wept over the decision your lips +proclaimed--these are the recollections which come over me like dew. Let +your own heart, my Emily, be your reward; and know that your lover only +forgets that he adores, to remember that he respects you. + + + +FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME. + +---------- Park. + +I could not bear the tumult and noise of London. I sighed for solitude, +that I might muse over your remembrance undisturbed. I came here +yesterday. It is the home of my childhood. I am surrounded on all sides +by the scenes and images consecrated by the fresh recollections of my +unsullied years. They are not changed. The seasons which come and +depart renew in them the havoc which they make. If the December +destroys, the April revives; but man has but one spring, and the +desolation of the heart but one winter! In this very room have I sat and +brooded over dreams and hopes which--but no matter--those dreams could +never show me a vision to equal you, or those hopes hold out to me a +blessing so precious as your love. + +Do you remember, or rather can you ever forget, that moment in which the +great depths of our souls were revealed? Ah! not in the scene in which +such vows should have been whispered to your ear and your tenderness have +blushed its reply. The passion concealed in darkness was revealed in +danger; and the love, which in life was forbidden, was our comfort amidst +the terrors of death! And that long and holy kiss, the first, the only +moment in which our lips shared the union of our souls!--do not tell me +that it is wrong to recall it!--do not tell me that I sin, when I own to +you the hours I sit alone, and nurse the delirium of that voluptuous +remembrance. The feelings you have excited may render me wretched, but +not guilty; for the love of you can only hallow the heart--it is a fire +which consecrates the altar on which it burns. I feel, even from the +hour that I loved, that my soul has become more pure. I could not +believe that I was capable of so unearthly an affection, or that the love +of woman could possess that divinity of virtue which I worship in yours. +The world is no fosterer of our young visions of purity and passion: +embarked in its pursuits, and acquainted with its pleasures, while the +latter sated me with what is evil, the former made me incredulous to what +is pure. I considered your sex as a problem which my experience had +already solved. Like the French philosophers, who lose truth by +endeavouring to condense it, and who forfeit the moral from their regard +to the maxim, I concentrated my knowledge of women into aphorism and +antitheses; and I did not dream of the exceptions, if I did not find +myself deceived in the general conclusion. I confess that I erred; I +renounce from this moment the colder reflections of my manhood,--the +fruits of a bitter experience,--the wisdom of an inquiring yet agitated +life. I return with transport to my earliest visions of beauty and love; +and I dedicate them upon the altar of my soul to you, who have embodied, +and concentrated, and breathed them into life! + + + +EXTRACTS FROM THE JOURNAL OF LADY EMILY MANDEVILLE. + +Monday.--This is the most joyless day in the whole week; for it can bring +me no letter from him. I rise listlessly, and read over again and again +the last letter I received from him--useless task! it is graven on my +heart! I long only for the day to be over, because to-morrow I may, +perhaps, hear from him again. When I wake at night from my disturbed +and broken sleep, I look if the morning is near; not because it gives +light and life, but because it may bring tidings of him. When his letter +is brought to me, I keep it for minutes unopened--I feed my eyes on the +handwriting--I examine the seal--I press it with my kisses, before I +indulge myself in the luxury of reading it. I then place it in my bosom, +and take it thence only to read it again and again,--to moisten it with +my tears of gratitude and love, and, alas! of penitence and remorse! +What can be the end of this affection? I dare neither to hope that it +may continue or that it may cease; in either case I am wretched for ever! + +Monday night, twelve o'clock.--They observe my paleness; the tears which +tremble in my eyes; the listlessness and dejection of my manner. I think +Mrs. Dalton guesses the cause. Humbled and debased in my own mind, I +fly, Falkland, for refuge to you! Your affection cannot raise me to my +former state, but it can reconcile--no--not reconcile, but support me in +my present. This dear letter, I kiss it again--oh! that to-morrow were +come! + +Tuesday.--Another letter, so kind, so tender, so encouraging: would that +I deserved his praises! alas! I sin even in reading them. I know that I +ought to struggle more against my feelings--once I attempted it; I prayed +to Heaven to support me; I put away from me everything that could recall +him to my mind--for three days I would not open his letters. I could +then resist no longer; and my weakness became the more confirmed from the +feebleness of the struggle. I remember one day that he told us of a +beautiful passage in one of the ancients, in which the bitterest curse +against the wicked is, that they may see virtue, but not be able to +obtain it; [Persius]--that punishment is mine! + +Wednesday.--My boy has been with me: I see him now from the windows +gathering the field-flowers, and running after every butterfly which +comes across him. Formerly he made all my delight and occupation; now he +is even dearer to me than ever; but he no longer engrosses all my +thoughts. I turn over the leaves of this journal; once it noted down the +little occurrences of the day; it marks nothing now but the monotony of +sadness. He is not here--he cannot come. What event then could I +notice? + + + +FROM ERASMUS FALKLAND, ESQ., TO LADY EMILY MANDEVILLE. + + [Most of the letters from Falkland to Lady E. Mandeville + I have thought it expedient to suppress.] + +--------- Park. + +If you knew how I long, how I thirst, for one word from you--one word to +say you are well, and have not forgotten me!--but I will not distress +you. You will guess my feelings, and do justice to the restraint I +impose on them, when I make no effort to alter your resolution not to +write. I know that it is just, and I bow to my sentence; but can you +blame me if I am restless and if I repine? It is past twelve; I always +write to you at night. It is then, my own love, that my imagination can +be the more readily transport me to you: it is then that my spirit holds +with you a more tender and undivided commune. In the day the world can +force itself upon my thoughts, and its trifles usurp the place which "I +love to keep for only thee and Heaven;" but in the night all things +recall you the more vividly: the stillness of the gentle skies,--the +blandness of the unbroken air,--the stars, so holy in their loveliness, +all speak and breathe to me of you. I think your hand is clasped in +mine; and I again drink the low music of your voice, and imbibe again in +the air the breath which has been perfumed by your lips. You seem to +stand in my lonely chamber in the light and stillness of a spirit, who +has wandered on earth to teach us the love which is felt in Heaven. + +I cannot, believe me, I cannot endure this separation long; it must be +more or less. You must be mine for ever, or our parting must be without +a mitigation, which is rather a cruelty than a relief. If you will not +accompany me, I will leave this country alone. I must not wean myself +from your image by degrees, but break from the enchantment at once. And +when Emily, I am once more upon the world, when no tidings of my fate +shall reach your ear, and all its power of alienation be left to the +progress of time--then, when you will at last have forgotten me, when +your peace of mind will be restored, and, having no struggles of +conscience to undergo, you will have no remorse to endure; then, Emily, +when we are indeed divided, let the scene which has witnessed our +passion, the letters which have recorded my vow, the evil we have +suffered, and the temptation we have overcome; let these in our old age +be remembered, and in declaring to Heaven that we were innocent, add +also--that, we loved. + + + +FROM DON ALPHONSO D'AQUILAR TO DON --------. + +London. + +Our cause gains ground daily. The great, indeed the only ostensible +object of my mission is nearly fulfilled; but I have another charge and +attraction which I am now about to explain to you. You know that my +acquaintance with the English language and country arose from my sister's +marriage with Mr. Falkland. After the birth of their only child I +accompanied them to England: I remained with them for three years, and I +still consider those days among the whitest in my restless and agitated +career. I returned to Spain; I became engaged in the troubles and +dissensions which distracted my unhappy country. Years rolled on, how I +need not mention to you. One night they put a letter into my hands; it +was from my sister; it was written on her death-bed. Her husband had +died suddenly. She loved him as a Spanish woman loves, and she could not +survive his loss. Her letter to me spoke of her country and her son. +Amid the new ties she had formed in England, she had never forgotten the +land of her fathers. "I have already," she said, "taught my boy to +remember that he has two countries; that the one, prosperous and free; +may afford him his pleasures; that the other, struggling and debased, +demands from him his duties. If, when he has attained the age in which +you can judge of his character, he is respectable only from his rank, and +valuable only from his wealth; if neither his head nor his heart will +make him useful to our cause, suffer him to remain undisturbed in his +prosperity _here_: but if, as I presage, he becomes worthy of the blood +which he bears in his veins, then I conjure you, my brother, to remind +him that he has been sworn by me on my death-bed to the most sacred of +earthly altars." + +Some months since, when I arrived in England; before I ventured to find +him out in person, I resolved to inquire into his character. Had he been +as the young and the rich generally are--had dissipation become habitual +to him, and frivolity grown around him as a second nature, then I should +have acquiesced in the former injunction of my sister much more willingly +than I shall now obey the latter. I find that he is perfectly acquainted +with our language, that he has placed a large sum in our funds, and that +from the, general liberality of his sentiments he is as likely to +espouse, as (in that case) he would be certain, from his high reputation +for talent, to serve our cause. I am, therefore, upon the eve of seeking +him out. I understand that he is living in perfect retirement in the +county of -------, in the immediate neighbourhood of Mr. Mandeville, an +Englishman of considerable fortune, and warmly attached to our cause. + +Mr. Mandeville has invited me to accompany him down to his estate for +some days, and I am too anxious to see my nephew not to accept eagerly of +the invitation. If I can persuade Falkland to aid us, it will be by the +influence of his name, his talents, and his wealth. It is not of him +that we can ask the stern and laborious devotion to which we have +consecrated ourselves. The perfidy of friends, the vigilance of foes, +the rashness of the bold, the cowardice of the wavering; strife in the +closet, treachery in the senate, death in the field; these constitute the +fate we have pledged ourselves to bear. Little can any, who do not +endure it, imagine of the life to which those who share the contests of +an agitated and distracted country are doomed; but if they know not our +griefs, neither can they dream of our consolation. We move like the +delineation of Faith, over a barren and desert soil; the rock, and the +thorn, and the stings of the adder, are round our feet; but we clasp a +crucifix to our hearts for our comfort, and we fix our eyes upon the +heavens for our hope! + + + +EXTRACTS FROM THE JOURNAL OF LADY EMILY MANDE VILLE. + +Wednesday.--His letters have taken a different tone: instead of soothing, +they add to my distress; but I deserve all--all that can be inflicted +upon me. I have had a letter from Mr. Mandeville. He is coming down +here for a few days, and intends bringing some friends with him: he +mentions particularly a Spaniard--the uncle of Mr Falkland, whom he asks +if I have seen. The Spaniard is particularly anxious to meet his +nephew--he does not then know that Falkland is gone. It will be some +relief to see Mr. Mandeville alone; but even then how shall I meet him? +What shall I say when he observes my paleness and alteration? I feel +bowed to the very dust. + +Thursday evening.--Mr. Mandeville has arrived: fortunately, it was late +in the evening before he came, and the darkness prevented his observing +my confusion and alteration. He was kinder than usual. Oh! how bitterly +my heart avenged him! He brought with him the Spaniard, Don Alphonso +d'Aguilar; I think there is a faint family likeness between him and +Falkland. Mr. Mandeville brought also a letter from Julia. She will be +here the day after to-morrow. The letter is short, but kind: she does +not allude to him; it is some days since I heard from him. + + + +FROM ERASMUS FALKLAND, ESQ., TO THE HON. FREDERICK MONKTON. + +I have resolved, Monkton, to go to her again! I am sure that it will be +better for both of us to meet once more; perhaps, to unite for ever! +None who have once loved me can easily forget me. I do not say this from +vanity, because I owe it not to my being superior to, but different from, +others. I am sure that the remorse and affliction she feels now are far +greater than she would experience, even were she more guilty, and with +me. Then, at least, she would have some one to soothe and sympathise in +whatever she might endure. To one so pure as Emily, the full crime is +already incurred. It is not the innocent who insist upon that nice line +of morality between the thought and the action: such distinctions require +reflection, experience, deliberation, prudence of head, or coldness of +heart; these are the traits, not of the guileless, but of the worldly. +It is the reflections, not the person, of a virtuous woman, which it is +difficult to obtain: that difficulty is the safeguard to her chastity; +that difficulty I have, in this instance, overcome. I have endeavoured +to live without Emily, but in vain. Every moment of absence only taught +me the impossibility. In twenty-four hours I shall see her again. I +feel my pulse rise into fever at the very thought. + +Farewell, Monkton. My next letter, I hope, will record my triumph. + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FALKLAND, BY LYTTON, V2 *** + +****** This file should be named 7758.txt or 7758.zip ****** + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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