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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:30:09 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:30:09 -0700 |
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diff --git a/7735-h/7735-h.htm b/7735-h/7735-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7f41727 --- /dev/null +++ b/7735-h/7735-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,21379 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <title> + Paul Clifford, by Edward Bulwer-lytton + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Project Gutenberg's Paul Clifford, Complete, by Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Paul Clifford, Complete + +Author: Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +Release Date: March 16, 2009 [EBook #7735] +Last Updated: March 21, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PAUL CLIFFORD, COMPLETE *** + + + + +Produced by Bryan Sherman and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + PAUL CLIFFORD + </h1> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Edward Bulwer-Lytton + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PREF"> PREFACE TO THE EDITION OF 1840. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PREF2"> PREFACE TO THE EDITION OF 1848. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> <b>PAUL CLIFFORD.</b> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0018"> CHAPTER XVIII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0019"> CHAPTER XIX. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0020"> CHAPTER XX. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0021"> CHAPTER XXI. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0022"> CHAPTER XXII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0023"> CHAPTER XXIII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0024"> CHAPTER XXIV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0025"> CHAPTER XXV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0026"> CHAPTER XXVI. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0027"> CHAPTER XXVII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0028"> CHAPTER XXVIII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0029"> CHAPTER XXIX. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0030"> CHAPTER XXX. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0031"> CHAPTER XXXI. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0032"> CHAPTER XXXII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0033"> CHAPTER XXXIII. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0034"> CHAPTER XXXIV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0035"> CHAPTER XXXV. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0036"> CHAPTER XXXVI. </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <h2> + <a href="#link2H_4_0040"> TOMLINSONIANA </a> + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_PREF" id="link2H_PREF"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + PREFACE TO THE EDITION OF 1840. + </h2> + <p> + This novel so far differs from the other fictions by the same author that + it seeks to draw its interest rather from practical than ideal sources. + Out of some twelve Novels or Romances, embracing, however inadequately, a + great variety of scene and character,—from “Pelham” to the “Pilgrims + of the Rhine,” from “Rienzi” to the “Last Days of Pompeii,”—“Paul + Clifford” is the only one in which a robber has been made the hero, or the + peculiar phases of life which he illustrates have been brought into any + prominent description. + </p> + <p> + Without pausing to inquire what realm of manners or what order of crime + and sorrow is open to art, and capable of administering to the proper ends + of fiction, I may be permitted to observe that the present subject was + selected, and the Novel written, with a twofold object: First, to draw + attention to two errors in our penal institutions; namely, a vicious + prison-discipline, and a sanguinary criminal code,—the habit of + corrupting the boy by the very punishment that ought to redeem him, and + then hanging the man at the first occasion, as the easiest way of getting + rid of our own blunders. Between the example of crime which the tyro + learns from the felons in the prison-yard, and the horrible levity with + which the mob gather round the drop at Newgate, there is a connection + which a writer may be pardoned for quitting loftier regions of imagination + to trace and to detect. So far this book is less a picture of the king's + highway than the law's royal road to the gallows,—a satire on the + short cut established between the House of Correction and the Condemned + Cell. A second and a lighter object in the novel of “Paul Clifford” (and + hence the introduction of a semi-burlesque or travesty in the earlier + chapters) was to show that there is nothing essentially different between + vulgar vice and fashionable vice, and that the slang of the one circle is + but an easy paraphrase of the cant of the other. + </p> + <p> + The Supplementary Essays, entitled “Tomlinsoniana,” which contain the + corollaries to various problems suggested in the Novel, have been restored + to the present edition. + </p> + <p> + CLIFTON, July 25, 1840. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_PREF2" id="link2H_PREF2"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + PREFACE TO THE EDITION OF 1848. + </h2> + <p> + Most men who with some earnestness of mind examine into the mysteries of + our social state will perhaps pass through that stage of self-education in + which this Novel was composed. The contrast between conventional frauds, + received as component parts of the great system of civilization, and the + less deceptive invasions of the laws which discriminate the meum from the + tuum, is tempting to a satire that is not without its justice. The tragic + truths which lie hid in what I may call the Philosophy of Circumstance + strike through our philanthropy upon our imagination. We see masses of our + fellow-creatures the victims of circumstances over which they had no + control,—contaminated in infancy by the example of parents, their + intelligence either extinguished or turned against them, according as the + conscience is stifled in ignorance or perverted to apologies for vice. A + child who is cradled in ignominy, whose schoolmaster is the felon, whose + academy is the House of Correction,—who breathes an atmosphere in + which virtue is poisoned, to which religion does not pierce,—becomes + less a responsible and reasoning human being than a wild beast which we + suffer to range in the wilderness, till it prowls near our homes, and we + kill it in self-defence. + </p> + <p> + In this respect the Novel of “Paul Clifford” is a loud cry to society to + amend the circumstance,—to redeem the victim. It is an appeal from + Humanity to Law. And in this, if it could not pretend to influence or + guide the temper of the times, it was at least a foresign of a coming + change. Between the literature of imagination, and the practical interests + of a people, there is a harmony as complete as it is mysterious. The heart + of an author is the mirror of his age. The shadow of the sun is cast on + the still surface of literature long before the light penetrates to law; + but it is ever from the sun that the shadow falls, and the moment we see + the shadow we may be certain of the light. + </p> + <p> + Since this work was written, society has been busy with the evils in which + it was then silently acquiescent. The true movement of the last fifteen + years has been the progress of one idea,—Social Reform. There it + advances with steady and noiseless march behind every louder question of + constitutional change. Let us do justice to our time. There have been + periods of more brilliant action on the destinies of States, but there is + no time visible in History in which there was so earnest and general a + desire to improve the condition of the great body of the people. In every + circle of the community that healthful desire is astir. It unites in one + object men of parties the most opposed; it affords the most attractive + nucleus for public meetings; it has cleansed the statute-book from blood; + it is ridding the world of the hangman. It animates the clergy of all + sects in the remotest districts; it sets the squire on improving cottages + and parcelling out allotments. Schools rise in every village; in books the + lightest, the Grand Idea colours the page, and bequeaths the moral. The + Government alone (despite the professions on which the present Ministry + was founded) remains unpenetrated by the common genius of the age; but on + that question, with all the subtleties it involves, and the experiments it + demands,—not indeed according to the dreams of an insane philosophy, + but according to the immutable laws which proportion the rewards of labour + to the respect for property,—a Government must be formed at last. + </p> + <p> + There is in this work a subtler question suggested, but not solved,—that + question which perplexes us in the generous ardour of our early youth,—which, + unsatisfactory as all metaphysics, we rather escape from than decide as we + advance in years; namely, make what laws we please, the man who lives + within the pale can be as bad as the man without. Compare the Paul + Clifford of the fiction with the William Brandon,—the hunted son + with the honoured father, the outcast of the law with the dispenser of the + law, the felon with the judge; and as at the last they front each other,—one + on the seat of justice, the other at the convict's bar,—who can lay + his hand on his heart and say that the Paul Clifford is a worse man than + the William Brandon. + </p> + <p> + There is no immorality in a truth that enforces this question; for it is + precisely those offences which society cannot interfere with that society + requires fiction to expose. Society is right, though youth is reluctant to + acknowledge it. Society can form only certain regulations necessary for + its self-defence,—the fewer the better,—punish those who + invade, leave unquestioned those who respect them. But fiction follows + truth into all the strongholds of convention; strikes through the + disguise, lifts the mask, bares the heart, and leaves a moral wherever it + brands a falsehood. + </p> + <p> + Out of this range of ideas the mind of the Author has, perhaps, emerged + into an atmosphere which he believes to be more congenial to Art. But he + can no more regret that he has passed through it than he can regret that + while he dwelt there his heart, like his years, was young. Sympathy with + the suffering that seems most actual, indignation at the frauds which seem + most received as virtues, are the natural emotions of youth, if earnest. + More sensible afterwards of the prerogatives, as of the elements, of Art, + the Author, at least, seeks to escape where the man may not, and look on + the practical world through the serener one of the ideal. + </p> + <p> + With the completion of this work closed an era in the writer's + self-education. From “Pelham” to “Paul Clifford” (four fictions, all + written at a very early age), the Author rather observes than imagines; + rather deals with the ordinary surface of human life than attempts, + however humbly, to soar above it or to dive beneath. From depicting in + “Paul Clifford” the errors of society, it was almost the natural progress + of reflection to pass to those which swell to crime in the solitary human + heart,—from the bold and open evils that spring from ignorance and + example, to track those that lie coiled in the entanglements of refining + knowledge and speculative pride. Looking back at this distance of years, I + can see as clearly as if mapped before me, the paths which led across the + boundary of invention from “Paul Clifford” to “Eugene Aram.” And, that + last work done, no less clearly can I see where the first gleams from a + fairer fancy broke upon my way, and rested on those more ideal images + which I sought with a feeble hand to transfer to the “Pilgrims of the + Rhine” and the “Last Days of Pompeii.” We authors, like the Children in + the Fable, track our journey through the maze by the pebbles which we + strew along the path. From others who wander after us, they may attract no + notice, or, if noticed, seem to them but scattered by the caprice of + chance; but we, when our memory would retrace our steps, review in the + humble stones the witnesses of our progress, the landmarks of our way. + </p> + <p> + Kenelworth, 1848. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h1> + PAUL CLIFFORD. + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER I. + </h2> + <pre> + +Say, ye oppressed by some fantastic woes, +Some jarring nerve that baffles your repose, +Who press the downy couch while slaves advance +With timid eye to read the distant glance, +Who with sad prayers the weary doctor tease +To name the nameless, ever-new disease, +Who with mock patience dire complaints endure, +Which real pain and that alone can cure, +How would you bear in real pain to lie +Despised, neglected, left alone to die? +How would you bear to draw your latest breath +Where all that’s wretched paves the way to death?—Crabbe. + </pre> + <p> + It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at + occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which + swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling + along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps + that struggled against the darkness. Through one of the obscurest quarters + of London, and among haunts little loved by the gentlemen of the police, a + man, evidently of the lowest orders, was wending his solitary way. He + stopped twice or thrice at different shops and houses of a description + correspondent with the appearance of the quartier in which they were + situated, and tended inquiry for some article or another which did not + seem easily to be met with. All the answers he received were couched in + the negative; and as he turned from each door he muttered to himself, in + no very elegant phraseology, his disappointment and discontent. At length, + at one house, the landlord, a sturdy butcher, after rendering the same + reply the inquirer had hitherto received, added, “But if this vill do as + vell, Dummie, it is quite at your sarvice!” Pausing reflectively for a + moment, Dummie responded that he thought the thing proffered might do as + well; and thrusting it into his ample pocket, he strode away with as rapid + a motion as the wind and the rain would allow. He soon came to a nest of + low and dingy buildings, at the entrance to which, in half-effaced + characters, was written “Thames Court.” Halting at the most conspicuous of + these buildings, an inn or alehouse, through the half-closed windows of + which blazed out in ruddy comfort the beams of the hospitable hearth, he + knocked hastily at the door. He was admitted by a lady of a certain age, + and endowed with a comely rotundity of face and person. + </p> + <p> + “Hast got it, Dummie?” said she, quickly, as she closed the door on the + guest. + </p> + <p> + “Noa, noa! not exactly; but I thinks as 'ow—” + </p> + <p> + “Pish, you fool!” cried the woman, interrupting him peevishly. “Vy, it is + no use desaving me. You knows you has only stepped from my boosing-ken to + another, and you has not been arter the book at all. So there's the poor + cretur a raving and a dying, and you—” + </p> + <p> + “Let I speak!” interrupted Dummie in his turn. “I tells you I vent first + to Mother Bussblone's, who, I knows, chops the whiners morning and evening + to the young ladies, and I axes there for a Bible; and she says, says she, + 'I' as only a “Companion to the Halter,” but you'll get a Bible, I think, + at Master Talkins', the cobbler as preaches.' So I goes to Master Talkins, + and he says, says he, 'I 'as no call for the Bible,—'cause vy? I 'as + a call vithout; but mayhap you'll be a getting it at the butcher's hover + the vay,—'cause vy? The butcher 'll be damned!' So I goes hover the + vay, and the butcher says, says he, 'I 'as not a Bible, but I 'as a book + of plays bound for all the vorld just like 'un, and mayhap the poor cretur + may n't see the difference.' So I takes the plays, Mrs. Margery, and here + they be surely! And how's poor Judy?” + </p> + <p> + “Fearsome! she'll not be over the night, I'm a thinking.” + </p> + <p> + “Vell, I'll track up the dancers!” + </p> + <p> + So saying, Dummie ascended a doorless staircase, across the entrance of + which a blanket, stretched angularly from the wall to the chimney, + afforded a kind of screen; and presently he stood within a chamber which + the dark and painful genius of Crabbe might have delighted to portray. The + walls were whitewashed, and at sundry places strange figures and grotesque + characters had been traced by some mirthful inmate, in such sable outline + as the end of a smoked stick or the edge of a piece of charcoal is wont to + produce. The wan and flickering light afforded by a farthing candle gave a + sort of grimness and menace to these achievements of pictorial art, + especially as they more than once received embellishments from portraits + of Satan such as he is accustomed to be drawn. A low fire burned gloomily + in the sooty grate, and on the hob hissed “the still small voice” of an + iron kettle. On a round deal table were two vials, a cracked cup, a broken + spoon of some dull metal, and upon two or three mutilated chairs were + scattered various articles of female attire. On another table, placed + below a high, narrow, shutterless casement (athwart which, instead of a + curtain, a checked apron had been loosely hung, and now waved fitfully to + and fro in the gusts of wind that made easy ingress through many a chink + and cranny), were a looking-glass, sundry appliances of the toilet, a box + of coarse rouge, a few ornaments of more show than value, and a watch, the + regular and calm click of which produced that indescribably painful + feeling which, we fear, many of our readers who have heard the sound in a + sick-chamber can easily recall. A large tester-bed stood opposite to this + table, and the looking-glass partially reflected curtains of a faded + stripe, and ever and anon (as the position of the sufferer followed the + restless emotion of a disordered mind) glimpses of the face of one on whom + Death was rapidly hastening. Beside this bed now stood Dummie, a small, + thin man dressed in a tattered plush jerkin, from which the rain-drops + slowly dripped, and with a thin, yellow, cunning physiognomy grotesquely + hideous in feature, but not positively villanous in expression. On the + other side of the bed stood a little boy of about three years old, dressed + as if belonging to the better classes, although the garb was somewhat + tattered and discoloured. The poor child trembled violently, and evidently + looked with a feeling of relief on the entrance of Dummie. And now there + slowly, and with many a phthisical sigh, heaved towards the foot of the + bed the heavy frame of the woman who had accosted Dummie below, and had + followed him, haud passibus aequis, to the room of the sufferer; she stood + with a bottle of medicine in her hand, shaking its contents up and down, + and with a kindly yet timid compassion spread over a countenance crimsoned + with habitual libations. This made the scene,—save that on a chair + by the bedside lay a profusion of long, glossy, golden ringlets, which had + been cut from the head of the sufferer when the fever had begun to mount + upwards, but which, with a jealousy that portrayed the darling littleness + of a vain heart, she had seized and insisted on retaining near her; and + save that, by the fire, perfectly inattentive to the event about to take + place within the chamber, and to which we of the biped race attach so + awful an importance, lay a large gray cat, curled in a ball, and dozing + with half-shut eyes, and ears that now and then denoted, by a gentle + inflection, the jar of a louder or nearer sound than usual upon her + lethargic senses. The dying woman did not at first attend to the entrance + either of Dummie or the female at the foot of the bed, but she turned + herself round towards the child, and grasping his arm fiercely, she drew + him towards her, and gazed on his terrified features with a look in which + exhaustion and an exceeding wanness of complexion were even horribly + contrasted by the glare and energy of delirium. + </p> + <p> + “If you are like him,” she muttered, “I will strangle you,—I will! + Ay, tremble, you ought to tremble when your mother touches you, or when he + is mentioned. You have his eyes, you have! Out with them, out,—the + devil sits laughing in them! Oh, you weep, do you, little one? Well, now, + be still, my love; be hushed! I would not harm thee! Harm—O God, he + is my child after all!” And at these words she clasped the boy + passionately to her breast, and burst into tears. + </p> + <p> + “Coom, now, coom,” said Dummie, soothingly; “take the stuff, Judith, and + then ve'll talk over the hurchin!” + </p> + <p> + The mother relaxed her grasp of the boy, and turning towards the speaker, + gazed at him for some moments with a bewildered stare; at length she + appeared slowly to remember him, and said, as she raised herself on one + hand, and pointed the other towards him with an inquiring gesture,—“Thou + hast brought the book?” + </p> + <p> + Dummie answered by lifting up the book he had brought from the honest + butcher's. + </p> + <p> + “Clear the room, then,” said the sufferer, with that air of mock command + so common to the insane. “We would be alone!” + </p> + <p> + Dummie winked at the good woman at the foot of the bed; and she (though + generally no easy person to order or to persuade) left, without + reluctance, the sick chamber. + </p> + <p> + “If she be a going to pray,” murmured our landlady (for that office did + the good matron hold), “I may indeed as well take myself off, for it's not + werry comfortable like to those who be old to hear all that 'ere!” + </p> + <p> + With this pious reflection, the hostess of the Mug,—so was the + hostelry called,—heavily descended the creaking stairs. “Now, man,” + said the sufferer, sternly, “swear that you will never reveal,—swear, + I say! And by the great God whose angels are about this night, if ever you + break the oath, I will come back and haunt you to your dying day!” + </p> + <p> + Dummie's face grew pale, for he was superstitiously affected by the + vehemence and the language of the dying woman, and he answered, as he + kissed the pretended Bible, that he swore to keep the secret, as much as + he knew of it, which, she must be sensible, he said, was very little. As + he spoke, the wind swept with a loud and sudden gust down the chimney, and + shook the roof above them so violently as to loosen many of the crumbling + tiles, which fell one after the other, with a crashing noise, on the + pavement below. Dummie started in affright; and perhaps his conscience + smote him for the trick he had played with regard to the false Bible. But + the woman, whose excited and unstrung nerves led her astray from one + subject to another with preternatural celerity, said, with an hysterical + laugh, “See, Dummie, they come in state for me; give me the cap—yonder—and + bring the looking-glass!” + </p> + <p> + Dummie obeyed; and the woman, as she in a low tone uttered something about + the unbecoming colour of the ribbons, adjusted the cap on her head, and + then, saying in a regretful and petulant voice, “Why should they have cut + off my hair? Such a disfigurement!” bade Dummie desire Mrs. Margery once + more to ascend to her. + </p> + <p> + Left alone with her child, the face of the wretched mother softened as she + regarded him, and all the levities and all the vehemences—if we may + use the word—which, in the turbulent commotion of her delirium, had + been stirred upward to the surface of her mind, gradually now sank as + death increased upon her, and a mother's anxiety rose to the natural level + from which it had been disturbed and abased. She took the child to her + bosom, and clasping him in her arms, which grew weaker with every instant, + she soothed him with the sort of chant which nurses sing over their + untoward infants; but her voice was cracked and hollow, and as she felt it + was so, the mother's eyes filled with tears. Mrs. Margery now reentered; + and turning towards the hostess with an impressive calmness of manner + which astonished and awed the person she addressed, the dying woman + pointed to the child and said,— + </p> + <p> + “You have been kind to me, very kind, and may God bless you for it! I have + found that those whom the world calls the worst are often the most human. + But I am not going to thank you as I ought to do, but to ask of you a last + and exceeding favour. Protect my child till he grows up. You have often + said you loved him,—you are childless yourself,—and a morsel + of bread and a shelter for the night, which is all I ask of you to give + him, will not impoverish more legitimate claimants.” + </p> + <p> + Poor Mrs. Margery, fairly sobbing, vowed she would be a mother to the + child, and that she would endeavour to rear him honestly; though a + public-house was not, she confessed, the best place for good examples. + </p> + <p> + “Take him,” cried the mother, hoarsely, as her voice, failing her + strength, rattled indistinctly, and almost died within her. “Take him, + rear him as you will, as you can; any example, any roof, better than—” + Here the words were inaudible. “And oh, may it be a curse and a—Give + me the medicine; I am dying.” + </p> + <p> + The hostess, alarmed, hastened to comply; but before she returned to the + bedside, the sufferer was insensible,—nor did she again recover + speech or motion. A low and rare moan only testified continued life, and + within two hours that ceased, and the spirit was gone. At that time our + good hostess was herself beyond the things of this outer world, having + supported her spirits during the vigils of the night with so many little + liquid stimulants that they finally sank into that torpor which generally + succeeds excitement. Taking, perhaps, advantage of the opportunity which + the insensibility of the hostess afforded him, Dummie, by the expiring ray + of the candle that burned in the death-chamber, hastily opened a huge box + (which was generally concealed under the bed, and contained the wardrobe + of the deceased), and turned with irreverent hand over the linens and the + silks, until quite at the bottom of the trunk he discovered some packets + of letters; these he seized, and buried in the conveniences of his dress. + He then, rising and replacing the box, cast a longing eye towards the + watch on the toilet-table, which was of gold; but he withdrew his gaze, + and with a querulous sigh observed to himself: “The old blowen kens of + that, 'od rat her! but, howsomever, I'll take this: who knows but it may + be of sarvice. Tannies to-day may be smash to-morrow!” [Meaning, what is + of no value now may be precious hereafter.] and he laid his coarse hand on + the golden and silky tresses we have described. “'T is a rum business, and + puzzles I; but mum's the word for my own little colquarren [neck].” + </p> + <p> + With this brief soliloquy Dummie descended the stairs and let himself out + of the house. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Imagination fondly stoops to trace + The parlor splendours of that festive place. + Deserted Village. +</pre> + <p> + There is little to interest in a narrative of early childhood, unless, + indeed, one were writing on education. We shall not, therefore, linger + over the infancy of the motherless boy left to the protection of Mrs. + Margery Lobkins, or, as she was sometimes familiarly called, Peggy, or + Piggy, Lob. The good dame, drawing a more than sufficient income from the + profits of a house which, if situated in an obscure locality, enjoyed very + general and lucrative repute, and being a lone widow without kith or kin, + had no temptation to break her word to the deceased, and she suffered the + orphan to wax in strength and understanding until the age of twelve,—a + period at which we are now about to reintroduce him to our readers. + </p> + <p> + The boy evinced great hardihood of temper, and no inconsiderable quickness + of intellect. In whatever he attempted, his success was rapid, and a + remarkable strength of limb and muscle seconded well the dictates of an + ambition turned, it must be confessed, rather to physical than mental + exertion. It is not to be supposed, however, that his boyish life passed + in unbroken tranquillity. Although Mrs. Lobkins was a good woman on the + whole, and greatly attached to her protegee, she was violent and rude in + temper, or, as she herself more flatteringly expressed it, “her feelings + were unkimmonly strong;” and alternate quarrel and reconciliation + constituted the chief occupations of the protegee's domestic life. As, + previous to his becoming the ward of Mrs. Lobkins, he had never received + any other appellation than “the child,” so the duty of christening him + devolved upon our hostess of the Mug; and after some deliberation, she + blessed him with the name of Paul. It was a name of happy omen, for it had + belonged to Mrs. Lobkins's grandfather, who had been three times + transported and twice hanged (at the first occurrence of the latter + description, he had been restored by the surgeons, much to the chagrin of + a young anatomist who was to have had the honour of cutting him up). The + boy did not seem likely to merit the distinguished appellation he bore, + for he testified no remarkable predisposition to the property of other + people. Nay, although he sometimes emptied the pockets of any stray + visitor to the coffee-room of Mrs. Lobkins, it appeared an act originating + rather in a love of the frolic than a desire of the profit; for after the + plundered person had been sufficiently tormented by the loss, haply, of + such utilities as a tobacco-box or a handkerchief; after he had, to the + secret delight of Paul, searched every corner of the apartment, stamped, + and fretted, and exposed himself by his petulance to the bitter + objurgation of Mrs. Lobkins, our young friend would quietly and suddenly + contrive that the article missed should return of its own accord to the + pocket from which it had disappeared. And thus, as our readers have + doubtless experienced when they have disturbed the peace of a whole + household for the loss of some portable treasure which they themselves are + afterwards discovered to have mislaid, the unfortunate victim of Paul's + honest ingenuity, exposed to the collected indignation of the spectators, + and sinking from the accuser into the convicted, secretly cursed the + unhappy lot which not only vexed him with the loss of his property, but + made it still more annoying to recover it. + </p> + <p> + Whether it was that, on discovering these pranks, Mrs. Lobkins trembled + for the future bias of the address they displayed, or whether she thought + that the folly of thieving without gain required speedy and permanent + correction, we cannot decide; but the good lady became at last extremely + anxious to secure for Paul the blessings of a liberal education. The key + of knowledge (the art of reading) she had, indeed, two years prior to the + present date, obtained for him; but this far from satisfied her + conscience,—nay, she felt that if she could not also obtain for him + the discretion to use it, it would have been wise even to have withheld a + key which the boy seemed perversely to apply to all locks but the right + one. In a word, she was desirous that he should receive an education far + superior to those whom he saw around him; and attributing, like most + ignorant persons, too great advantages to learning, she conceived that in + order to live as decorously as the parson of the parish, it was only + necessary to know as much Latin. + </p> + <p> + One evening in particular, as the dame sat by her cheerful fire, this + source of anxiety was unusually active in her mind, and ever and anon she + directed unquiet and restless glances towards Paul, who sat on a form at + the opposite corner of the hearth, diligently employed in reading the life + and adventures of the celebrated Richard Turpin. The form on which the boy + sat was worn to a glassy smoothness, save only in certain places, where + some ingenious idler or another had amused himself by carving sundry + names, epithets, and epigrammatic niceties of language. It is said that + the organ of carving upon wood is prominently developed on all English + skulls; and the sagacious Mr. Combe has placed this organ at the back of + the head, in juxtaposition to that of destructiveness, which is equally + large among our countrymen, as is notably evinced upon all railings, + seats, temples, and other things-belonging to other people. + </p> + <p> + Opposite to the fireplace was a large deal table, at which Dummie, + surnamed Dunnaker, seated near the dame, was quietly ruminating over a + glass of hollands and water. Farther on, at another table in the corner of + the room, a gentleman with a red wig, very rusty garments, and linen which + seemed as if it had been boiled in saffron, smoked his pipe, apart, + silent, and apparently plunged in meditation. This gentleman was no other + than Mr. Peter MacGrawler, the editor of a magnificent periodical entitled + “The Asiaeum,” which was written to prove that whatever is popular is + necessarily bad,—a valuable and recondite truth, which “The + Asinaeum” had satisfactorily demonstrated by ruining three printers and + demolishing a publisher. We need not add that Mr. MacGrawler was Scotch by + birth, since we believe it is pretty well known that all periodicals of + this country have, from time immemorial, been monopolized by the gentlemen + of the Land of Cakes. We know not how it may be the fashion to eat the + said cakes in Scotland, but here the good emigrators seem to like them + carefully buttered on both sides. By the side of the editor stood a large + pewter tankard; above him hung an engraving of the “wonderfully fat boar + formerly in the possession of Mr. Fattem, grazier.” To his left rose the + dingy form of a thin, upright clock in an oaken case; beyond the clock, a + spit and a musket were fastened in parallels to the wall. Below those twin + emblems of war and cookery were four shelves, containing plates of pewter + and delf, and terminating, centaur-like, in a sort of dresser. At the + other side of these domestic conveniences was a picture of Mrs. Lobkins, + in a scarlet body and a hat and plume. At the back of the fair hostess + stretched the blanket we have before mentioned. As a relief to the + monotonous surface of this simple screen, various ballads and learned + legends were pinned to the blanket. There might you read in verses, + pathetic and unadorned, how— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Sally loved a sailor lad + As fought with famous Shovel!” + </pre> + <p> + There might you learn, if of two facts so instructive you were before + unconscious, that— + </p> + <p> + “Ben the toper loved his bottle,—Charley only loved the lasses!” + </p> + <p> + When of these and various other poetical effusions you were somewhat + wearied, the literary fragments in bumbler prose afforded you equal + edification and delight. There might you fully enlighten yourself as to + the “Strange and Wonderful News from Kensington, being a most full and + true Relation how a Maid there is supposed to have been carried away by an + Evil Spirit on Wednesday, 15th of April last, about Midnight.” There, too, + no less interesting and no less veracious, was that uncommon anecdote + touching the chief of many-throned powers entitled “The Divell of Mascon; + or, the true Relation of the Chief Things which an Unclean Spirit did and + said at Mascon, in Burgundy, in the house of one Mr. Francis Pereaud: now + made English by one that hath a Particular Knowledge of the Truth of the + Story.” + </p> + <p> + Nor were these materials for Satanic history the only prosaic and faithful + chronicles which the bibliothecal blanket afforded. Equally wonderful, and + equally indisputable, was the account of “a young lady, the daughter of a + duke, with three legs and the face of a porcupine.” Nor less so “The Awful + Judgment of God upon Swearers, as exemplified in the case of John Stiles, + who Dropped down dead after swearing a Great Oath; and on stripping the + unhappy man they found 'Swear not at all' written on the tail of his + shirt!” + </p> + <p> + Twice had Mrs. Lobkins heaved a long sigh, as her eyes turned from Paul to + the tranquil countenance of Dummie Dunnaker, and now, re-settling herself + in her chair, as a motherly anxiety gathered over her visage,— + </p> + <p> + “Paul, my ben cull,” said she, “what gibberish hast got there?” + </p> + <p> + “Turpin, the great highwayman!” answered the young student, without + lifting his eyes from the page, through which he was spelling his + instructive way. + </p> + <p> + “Oh! he be's a chip of the right block, dame!” said Mr. Dunnaker, as he + applied his pipe to an illumined piece of paper. “He'll ride a 'oss foaled + by a hacorn yet, I varrants!” + </p> + <p> + To this prophecy the dame replied only with a look of indignation; and + rocking herself to and fro in her huge chair, she remained for some + moments in silent thought. At last she again wistfully eyed the hopeful + boy, and calling him to her side, communicated some order, in a dejected + whisper. Paul, on receiving it, disappeared behind the blanket, and + presently returned with a bottle and a wineglass. With an abstracted + gesture, and an air that betokened continued meditation, the good dame + took the inspiring cordial from the hand of her youthful cupbearer,— + </p> + <p> + “And ere a man had power to say 'Behold!' The jaws of Lobkins had devoured + it up: So quick bright things come to confusion!” + </p> + <p> + The nectarean beverage seemed to operate cheerily on the matron's system; + and placing her hand on the boy's curly head, she said (like Andromache, + dakruon gelasasa, or, as Scott hath it, “With a smile on her cheek, but a + tear in her eye”),— + </p> + <p> + “Paul, thy heart be good, thy heart be good; thou didst not spill a drop + of the tape! Tell me, my honey, why didst thou lick Tom Tobyson?” + </p> + <p> + “Because,” answered Paul, “he said as how you ought to have been hanged + long ago.” + </p> + <p> + “Tom Tobyson is a good-for-nought,” returned the dame, “and deserves to + shove the tumbler [Be whipped at the cart's tail]; I but oh, my child, be + not too venturesome in taking up the sticks for a blowen,—it has + been the ruin of many a man afore you; and when two men goes to quarrel + for a 'oman, they doesn't know the natur' of the thing they quarrels + about. Mind thy latter end, Paul, and reverence the old, without axing + what they has been before they passed into the wale of years. Thou mayst + get me my pipe, Paul,—it is upstairs, under the pillow.” + </p> + <p> + While Paul was accomplishing this errand, the lady of the Mug, fixing her + eyes upon Mr. Dunnaker, said, “Dummie, Dummie, if little Paul should come + to be scragged!” + </p> + <p> + “Whish!” muttered Dummie, glancing over his shoulder at MacGrawler; + “mayhap that gemman—” Here his voice became scarcely audible even to + Mrs. Lobkins; but his whisper seemed to imply an insinuation that the + illustrious editor of “The Asinaeum” might be either an informer, or one + of those heroes on whom an informer subsists. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Lobkins's answer, couched in the same key, appeared to satisfy + Dunnaker, for with a look of great contempt he chucked up his head and + said, “Oho! that be all, be it!” + </p> + <p> + Paul here reappeared with the pipe; and the dame, having filled the tube, + leaned forward, and lighted the Virginian weed from the blower of Mr. + Dunnaker. As in this interesting occupation the heads of the hostess and + the guest approached each other, the glowing light playing cheerily on the + countenance of each, there was an honest simplicity in the picture that + would have merited the racy and vigorous genius of a Cruikshank. As soon + as the Promethean spark had been fully communicated to the lady's tube, + Mrs. Lobkins, still possessed by the gloomy idea she had conjured up, + repeated,— + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Dummie, if little Paul should be scragged!” + </p> + <p> + Dummie, withdrawing the pipe from his mouth, heaved a sympathizing puff, + but remained silent; and Mrs. Lobkins, turning to Paul, who stood with + mouth open and ears erect at this boding ejaculation, said,— + </p> + <p> + “Dost think, Paul, they'd have the heart to hang thee?” + </p> + <p> + “I think they'd have the rope, dame!” returned the youth. + </p> + <p> + “But you need not go for to run your neck into the noose!” said the + matron; and then, inspired by the spirit of moralizing, she turned round + to the youth, and gazing upon his attentive countenance, accosted him with + the following admonitions:— + </p> + <p> + “Mind thy kittychism, child, and reverence old age. Never steal, + 'specially when any one be in the way. Never go snacks with them as be + older than you,—'cause why? The older a cove be, the more he cares + for hisself, and the less for his partner. At twenty, we diddles the + public; at forty, we diddles our cronies! Be modest, Paul, and stick to + your sitivation in life. Go not with fine tobymen, who burn out like a + candle wot has a thief in it,—all flare, and gone in a whiffy! Leave + liquor to the aged, who can't do without it. Tape often proves a halter, + and there be's no ruin like blue ruin! Read your Bible, and talk like a + pious 'un. People goes more by your words than your actions. If you wants + what is not your own, try and do without it; and if you cannot do without + it, take it away by insinivation, not bluster. They as swindles does more + and risks less than they as robs; and if you cheats toppingly, you may + laugh at the topping cheat [Gallows]. And now go play.” + </p> + <p> + Paul seized his hat, but lingered; and the dame, guessing at the + signification of the pause, drew forth and placed in the boy's hand the + sum of five halfpence and one farthing. + </p> + <p> + “There, boy,” quoth she, and she stroked his head fondly when she spoke, + “you does right not to play for nothing,—it's loss of time; but play + with those as be less than yoursel', and then you can go for to beat 'em + if they says you go for to cheat!” + </p> + <p> + Paul vanished; and the dame, laying her hand on Dummie's shoulder, said,— + </p> + <p> + “There be nothing like a friend in need, Dummie; and somehow or other, I + thinks as how you knows more of the horigin of that 'ere lad than any of + us!” + </p> + <p> + “Me, dame!” exclaimed Dummie, with a broad gaze of astonishment. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, you! you knows as how the mother saw more of you just afore she died + than she did of 'ere one of us. Noar, now, noar, now! Tell us all about + 'un. Did she steal 'un, think ye?” + </p> + <p> + “Lauk, Mother Margery, dost think I knows? Vot put such a crotchet in your + 'ead?” + </p> + <p> + “Well!” said the dame, with a disappointed sigh, “I always thought as how + you were more knowing about it than you owns. Dear, dear, I shall never + forgit the night when Judith brought the poor cretur here,—you knows + she had been some months in my house afore ever I see'd the urchin; and + when she brought it, she looked so pale and ghostly that I had not the + heart to say a word, so I stared at the brat, and it stretched out its wee + little hands to me. And the mother frowned at it, and throwed it into my + lap.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! she was a hawful voman, that 'ere!” said Dummie, shaking his head. + “But howsomever, the hurchin fell into good 'ands; for I be's sure you 'as + been a better mother to 'un than the raal 'un!” + </p> + <p> + “I was always a fool about childer,” rejoined Mrs. Lobkins; “and I thinks + as how little Paul was sent to be a comfort to my latter end! Fill the + glass, Dummie.” + </p> + <p> + “I 'as heard as 'ow Judith was once blowen to a great lord!” said Dummie. + </p> + <p> + “Like enough!” returned Mrs. Lobkins,—“like enough! She was always a + favourite of mine, for she had a spuret [spirit] as big as my own; and she + paid her rint like a decent body, for all she was out of her sinses, or + 'nation like it.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, I knows as how you liked her,—'cause vy? 'T is not your vay to + let a room to a voman! You says as how 't is not respectable, and you only + likes men to wisit the Mug!” + </p> + <p> + “And I doesn't like all of them as comes here!” answered the dame,—“'specially + for Paul's sake; but what can a lone 'oman do? Many's the gentleman + highwayman wot comes here, whose money is as good as the clerk's of the + parish. And when a bob [shilling] is in my hand, what does it sinnify + whose hand it was in afore?” + </p> + <p> + “That's what I call being sinsible and practical,” said Dummie, + approvingly. “And after all, though you 'as a mixture like, I does not + know a halehouse where a cove is better entertained, nor meets of a Sunday + more illegant company, than the Mug!” + </p> + <p> + Here the conversation, which the reader must know had been sustained in a + key inaudible to a third person, received a check from Mr. Peter + MacGrawler, who, having finished his revery and his tankard, now rose to + depart. First, however, approaching Mrs. Lobkins, he observed that he had + gone on credit for some days, and demanded the amount of his bill. + Glancing towards certain chalk hieroglyphics inscribed on the wall at the + other side of the fireplace, the dame answered that Mr. MacGrawler was + indebted to her for the sum of one shilling and ninepence three farthings. + </p> + <p> + After a short preparatory search in his waistcoat pockets, the critic + hunted into one corner a solitary half-crown, and having caught it between + his finger and thumb, he gave it to Mrs. Lobkins and requested change. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the matron felt her hand anointed with what has been called by + some ingenious Johnson of St. Giles's “the oil of palms,” her countenance + softened into a complacent smile; and when she gave the required change to + Mr. MacGrawler, she graciously hoped as how he would recommend the Mug to + the public. + </p> + <p> + “That you may be sure of,” said the editor of “The Asinaeum.” “There is + not a place where I am so much at home.” + </p> + <p> + With that the learned Scotsman buttoned his coat and went his way. + </p> + <p> + “How spiteful the world be!” said Mrs. Lobkins, after a pause, “'specially + if a 'oman keeps a fashionable sort of a public! When Judith died, Joe, + the dog's-meat man, said I war all the better for it, and that she left I + a treasure to bring up the urchin. One would think a thumper makes a man + richer,—'cause why? Every man thumps! I got nothing more than a + watch and ten guineas when Judy died, and sure that scarce paid for the + burrel [burial].” + </p> + <p> + “You forgits the two quids [Guineas] I giv' you for the hold box of rags,—much + of a treasure I found there!” said Dummie, with sycophantic archness. + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” cried the dame, laughing, “I fancies you war not pleased with the + bargain. I thought you war too old a ragmerchant to be so free with the + blunt; howsomever, I supposes it war the tinsel petticoat as took you in!” + </p> + <p> + “As it has mony a viser man than the like of I,” rejoined Dummie, who to + his various secret professions added the ostensible one of a rag-merchant + and dealer in broken glass. + </p> + <p> + The recollection of her good bargain in the box of rags opened our + landlady's heart. + </p> + <p> + “Drink, Dummie,” said she, good-humouredly,—“drink; I scorns to + score lush to a friend.” + </p> + <p> + Dummie expressed his gratitude, refilled his glass, and the hospitable + matron, knocking out from her pipe the dying ashes, thus proceeded: + </p> + <p> + “You sees, Dummie, though I often beats the boy, I loves him as much as if + I war his raal mother,—I wants to make him an honour to his country, + and an ixciption to my family!” + </p> + <p> + “Who all flashed their ivories at Surgeons' Hall!” added the metaphorical + Dummie. + </p> + <p> + “True!” said the lady; “they died game, and I be n't ashamed of 'em. But I + owes a duty to Paul's mother, and I wants Paul to have a long life. I + would send him to school, but you knows as how the boys only corrupt one + another. And so, I should like to meet with some decent man, as a tutor, + to teach the lad Latin and vartue!” + </p> + <p> + “My eyes!” cried Dummie; aghast at the grandeur of this desire. + </p> + <p> + “The boy is 'cute enough, and he loves reading,” continued the dame; “but + I does not think the books he gets hold of will teach him the way to grow + old.” + </p> + <p> + “And 'ow came he to read, anyhows?” + </p> + <p> + “Ranting Rob, the strolling player, taught him his letters, and said he'd + a deal of janius.” + </p> + <p> + “And why should not Ranting Rob tache the boy Latin and vartue?” + </p> + <p> + “'Cause Ranting Rob, poor fellow, was lagged [Transported for burglary] + for doing a panny!” answered the dame, despondently. + </p> + <p> + There was a long silence; it was broken by Mr. Dummie. Slapping his thigh + with the gesticulatory vehemence of a Ugo Foscolo, that gentleman + exclaimed,— + </p> + <p> + “I 'as it,—I 'as thought of a tutor for leetle Paul!” + </p> + <p> + “Who's that? You quite frightens me; you 'as no marcy on my narves,” said + the dame, fretfully. + </p> + <p> + “Vy, it be the gemman vot writes,” said Dummie, putting his finger to his + nose,—“the gemman vot paid you so flashly!” + </p> + <p> + “What! the Scotch gemman?” + </p> + <p> + “The werry same!” returned Dummie. + </p> + <p> + The dame turned in her chair and refilled her pipe. It was evident from + her manner that Mr. Dunnaker's suggestion had made an impression on her. + But she recognized two doubts as to its feasibility: one, whether the + gentleman proposed would be adequate to the task; the other, whether he + would be willing to undertake it. + </p> + <p> + In the midst of her meditations on this matter, the dame was interrupted + by the entrance of certain claimants on her hospitality; and Dummie soon + after taking his leave, the suspense of Mrs. Lobkins's mind touching the + education of little Paul remained the whole of that day and night utterly + unrelieved. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + I own that I am envious of the pleasure you will have in finding yourself + more learned than other boys,—even those who are older than yourself. + What honour this will do you! What distinctions, what applauses will + follow wherever you go! + —LORD CHESTERFIELD: Letters to his Son. + + Example, my boy,—example is worth a thousand precepts. + —MAXIMILIAN SOLEMN. +</pre> + <p> + Tarpeia was crushed beneath the weight of ornaments. The language of the + vulgar is a sort of Tarpeia. We have therefore relieved it of as many gems + as we were able, and in the foregoing scene presented it to the gaze of + our readers simplex munditiis. Nevertheless, we could timidly imagine some + gentler beings of the softer sex rather displeased with the tone of the + dialogue we have given, did we not recollect how delighted they are with + the provincial barbarities of the sister kingdom, whenever they meet them + poured over the pages of some Scottish story-teller. As, unhappily for + mankind, broad Scotch is not yet the universal language of Europe, we + suppose our countrywomen will not be much more unacquainted with the + dialect of their own lower orders than with that which breathes nasal + melodies over the paradise of the North. + </p> + <p> + It was the next day, at the hour of twilight, when Mrs. Margery Lobkins, + after a satisfactory tete-a-tete with Mr. MacGrawler, had the happiness of + thinking that she had provided a tutor for little Paul. The critic having + recited to her a considerable portion of Propria qum Maribus, the good + lady had no longer a doubt of his capacities for teaching; and on the + other hand, when Mrs. Lobkins entered on the subject of remuneration, the + Scotsman professed himself perfectly willing to teach any and every thing + that the most exacting guardian could require. It was finally settled that + Paul should attend Mr. MacGrawler two hours a day; that Mr. MacGrawler + should be entitled to such animal comforts of meat and drink as the Mug + afforded, and, moreover, to the weekly stipend of two shillings and + sixpence,—the shillings for instruction in the classics, and the + sixpence for all other humanities; or, as Mrs. Lobkins expressed it, “two + bobs for the Latin, and a site for the vartue.” + </p> + <p> + Let not thy mind, gentle reader, censure us for a deviation from + probability in making so excellent and learned a gentleman as Mr. Peter + MacGrawler the familiar guest of the lady of the Mug. First, thou must + know that our story is cast in a period antecedent to the present, and one + in which the old jokes against the circumstances of author and of critic + had their foundation in truth; secondly, thou must know that by some + curious concatenation of circumstances neither bailiff nor bailiff's man + was ever seen within the four walls continent of Mrs. Margery Lobkins; + thirdly, the Mug was nearer than any other house of public resort to the + abode of the critic; fourthly, it afforded excellent porter; and fifthly, + O reader, thou dost Mrs. Margery Lobkins a grievous wrong if thou + supposest that her door was only open to those mercurial gentry who are + afflicted with the morbid curiosity to pry into the mysteries of their + neighbours' pockets,—other visitors, of fair repute, were not + unoften partakers of the good matron's hospitality; although it must be + owned that they generally occupied the private room in preference to the + public one. And sixthly, sweet reader (we grieve to be so prolix), we + would just hint to thee that Mr. MacGrawler was one of those vast-minded + sages who, occupied in contemplating morals in the great scale, do not + fritter down their intellects by a base attention to minute details. So + that if a descendant of Langfanger did sometimes cross the venerable Scot + in his visit to the Mug, the apparition did not revolt that benevolent + moralist so much as, were it not for the above hint, thy ignorance might + lead thee to imagine. + </p> + <p> + It is said that Athenodorus the Stoic contributed greatly by his + conversation to amend the faults of Augustus, and to effect the change + visible in that fortunate man after his accession to the Roman empire. If + this be true, it may throw a new light on the character of Augustus, and + instead of being the hypocrite, he was possibly the convert. Certain it is + that there are few vices which cannot be conquered by wisdom; and yet, + melancholy to relate, the instructions of Peter MacGrawler produced but + slender amelioration in the habits of the youthful Paul. That ingenious + stripling had, we have already seen, under the tuition of Ranting Bob, + mastered the art of reading,—nay, he could even construct and link + together certain curious pot-hooks, which himself and Mrs. Lobkins were + wont graciously to term “writing.” So far, then, the way of MacGrawler was + smoothed and prepared. + </p> + <p> + But, unhappily, all experienced teachers allow that the main difficulty is + not to learn, but to unlearn; and the mind of Paul was already occupied by + a vast number of heterogeneous miscellanies which stoutly resisted the + ingress either of Latin or of virtue. Nothing could wean him from an + ominous affection for the history of Richard Turpin; it was to him what, + it has been said, the Greek authors should be to the Academician,—a + study by day, and a dream by night. He was docile enough during lessons, + and sometimes even too quick in conception for the stately march of Mr. + MacGrawler's intellect. But it not unfrequently happened that when that + gentleman attempted to rise, he found himself, like the Lady in “Comus,” + adhering to— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “A venomed seat Smeared with gums of glutinous heat;” + </pre> + <p> + or his legs had been secretly united under the table, and the tie was not + to be broken without overthrow to the superior powers. These, and various + other little sportive machinations wherewith Paul was wont to relieve the + monotony of literature, went far to disgust the learned critic with his + undertaking. But “the tape” and the treasury of Mrs. Lobkins re-smoothed, + as it were, the irritated bristles of his mind, and he continued his + labours with this philosophical reflection: “Why fret myself? If a pupil + turns out well, it is clearly to the credit of his master; if not, to the + disadvantage of himself.” Of course, a similar suggestion never forced + itself into the mind of Dr. Keate [A celebrated principal of Eton]. At + Eton the very soul of the honest headmaster is consumed by his zeal for + the welfare of the little gentlemen in stiff cravats. + </p> + <p> + But to Paul, who was predestined to enjoy a certain quantum of knowledge, + circumstances happened, in the commencement of the second year of his + pupilage, which prodigiously accelerated the progress of his scholastic + career. + </p> + <p> + At the apartment of MacGrawler, Paul one morning encountered Mr. Augustus + Tomlinson, a young man of great promise, who pursued the peaceful + occupation of chronicling in a leading newspaper “Horrid Murders,” + “Enormous Melons,” and “Remarkable Circumstances.” This gentleman, having + the advantage of some years' seniority over Paul, was slow in unbending + his dignity; but observing at last the eager and respectful attention with + which the stripling listened to a most veracious detail of five men being + inhumanly murdered in Canterbury Cathedral by the Reverend Zedekiah Fooks + Barnacle, he was touched by the impression he had created, and shaking + Paul graciously by the hand, he told him there was a deal of natural + shrewdness in his countenance, and that Mr. Augustus Tomlinson did not + doubt but that he (Paul) might have the honour to be murdered himself one + of these days. “You understand me,” continued Mr. Augustus,—“I mean + murdered in effigy,—assassinated in type,—while you yourself, + unconscious of the circumstance, are quietly enjoying what you imagine to + be your existence. We never kill common persons,—to say truth, our + chief spite is against the Church; we destroy bishops by wholesale. + Sometimes, indeed, we knock off a leading barrister or so, and express the + anguish of the junior counsel at a loss so destructive to their interests. + But that is only a stray hit, and the slain barrister often lives to + become Attorney-General, renounce Whig principles, and prosecute the very + Press that destroyed him. Bishops are our proper food; we send them to + heaven on a sort of flying griffin, of which the back is an apoplexy, and + the wings are puffs. The Bishop of—-, whom we despatched in this + manner the other day, being rather a facetious personage, wrote to + remonstrate with us thereon, observing that though heaven was a very good + translation for a bishop, yet that in such cases he preferred 'the + original to the translation.' As we murder bishop, so is there another + class of persons whom we only afflict with lethiferous diseases. This + latter tribe consists of his Majesty and his Majesty's ministers. Whenever + we cannot abuse their measures, we always fall foul on their health. Does + the king pass any popular law, we immediately insinuate that his + constitution is on its last legs. Does the minister act like a man of + sense, we instantly observe, with great regret, that his complexion is + remarkably pale. There is one manifest advantage in diseasing people, + instead of absolutely destroying them: the public may flatly contradict us + in one case, but it never can in the other; it is easy to prove that a man + is alive, but utterly impossible to prove that he is in health. What if + some opposing newspaper take up the cudgels in his behalf, and assert that + the victim of all Pandora's complaints, whom we send tottering to the + grave, passes one half the day in knocking up a 'distinguished company' at + a shooting-party, and the other half in outdoing the same 'distinguished + company' after dinner? What if the afflicted individual himself write us + word that he never was better in his life? We have only mysteriously to + shake our heads and observe that to contradict is not to prove, that it is + little likely that our authority should have been mistaken, and (we are + very fond of an historical comparison), beg our readers to remember that + when Cardinal Richelieu was dying, nothing enraged him so much as hinting + that he was ill. In short, if Horace is right, we are the very princes of + poets; for I dare say, Mr. MacGrawler, that you—and you, too, my + little gentleman, perfectly remember the words of the wise old Roman,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Ille per extentum funem mihi posse videtur + Ire poeta, meum qui pectus inaniter angit, + Irritat, mulcet, falsis terroribus implet.'” + + [“He appears to me to be, to the fullest extent, a poet who + airily torments my breast, irritates, soothes, fills it with + unreal terrors.”] +</pre> + <p> + Having uttered this quotation with considerable self-complacency, and + thereby entirely completed his conquest over Paul, Mr. Augustus Tomlinson, + turning to MacGrawler, concluded his business with that gentleman,—which + was of a literary nature, namely, a joint composition against a man who, + being under five-and-twenty, and too poor to give dinners, had had the + impudence to write a sacred poem. The critics were exceedingly bitter at + this; and having very little to say against the poem, the Court journals + called the author a “coxcomb,” and the liberal ones “the son of a + pantaloon!” + </p> + <p> + There was an ease, a spirit, a life about Mr. Augustus Tomlinson, which + captivated the senses of our young hero; then, too, he was exceedingly + smartly attired,—wore red heels and a bag,—had what seemed to + Paul quite the air of a “man of fashion;” and, above all, he spouted the + Latin with a remarkable grace! + </p> + <p> + Some days afterwards, MacGrawler sent our hero to Mr. Tomlinson's + lodgings, with his share of the joint abuse upon the poet. + </p> + <p> + Doubly was Paul's reverence for Mr. Augustus Tomlinson increased by a + sight of his abode. He found him settled in a polite part of the town, in + a very spruce parlour, the contents of which manifested the universal + genius of the inhabitant. It hath been objected unto us, by a most + discerning critic, that we are addicted to the drawing of “universal + geniuses.” We plead Not Guilty in former instances; we allow the soft + impeachment in the instance of Mr. Augustus Tomlinson. Over his fireplace + were arranged boxing-gloves and fencing foils; on his table lay a cremona + and a flageolet. On one side of the wall were shelves containing the + Covent Garden Magazine, Burn's Justice, a pocket Horace, a Prayer-Book, + Excerpta ex Tacito, a volume of plays, Philosophy made Easy, and a Key to + all Knowledge. Furthermore, there were on another table a riding-whip and + a driving-whip and a pair of spurs, and three guineas, with a little + mountain of loose silver. Mr. Augustus was a tall, fair young man, with a + freckled complexion, green eyes and red eyelids, a smiling mouth, rather + under-jawed, a sharp nose, and a prodigiously large pair of ears. He was + robed in a green damask dressing-gown; and he received the tender Paul + most graciously. + </p> + <p> + There was something very engaging about our hero. He was not only + good-looking, and frank in aspect, but he had that appearance of briskness + and intellect which belongs to an embryo rogue. Mr. Augustus Tomlinson + professed the greatest regard for him,—asked him if he could box, + made him put on a pair of gloves, and very condescendingly knocked him + down three times successively. Next he played him, both upon his flageolet + and his cremona, some of the most modish airs. Moreover, he sang him a + little song of his own composing. He then, taking up the driving-whip, + flanked a fly from the opposite wall, and throwing himself (naturally + fatigued with his numerous exertions) on his sofa, observed, in a careless + tone, that he and his friend Lord Dunshunner were universally esteemed the + best whips in the metropolis. “I,” quoth Mr. Augustus, “am the best on the + road; but my lord is a devil at turning a corner.” + </p> + <p> + Paul, who had hitherto lived too unsophisticated a life to be aware of the + importance of which a lord would naturally be in the eyes of Mr. Augustus + Tomlinson, was not so much struck with the grandeur of the connection as + the murderer of the journals had expected. He merely observed, by way of + compliment, that Mr. Augustus and his companion seemed to be “rolling + kiddies.” + </p> + <p> + A little displeased with this metaphorical remark,—for it may be + observed that “rolling kiddy” is, among the learned in such lore, the + customary expression for “a smart thief,”—the universal Augustus + took that liberty to which by his age and station, so much superior to + those of Paul, he imagined himself entitled, and gently reproved our hero + for his indiscriminate use of flash phrases. + </p> + <p> + “A lad of your parts,” said he,—“for I see you are clever, by your + eye,—ought to be ashamed of using such vulgar expressions. Have a + nobler spirit, a loftier emulation, Paul, than that which distinguishes + the little ragamuffins of the street. Know that in this country genius and + learning carry everything before them; and if you behave yourself + properly, you may, one day or another, be as high in the world as myself.” + </p> + <p> + At this speech Paul looked wistfully round the spruce parlour, and thought + what a fine thing it would be to be lord of such a domain, together with + the appliances of flageolet and cremona, boxing-gloves, books, + fly-flanking flagellum, three guineas, with the little mountain of silver, + and the reputation—shared only with Lord Dunshunner—of being + the best whip in London. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” continued Tomlinson, with conscious pride, “I owe my rise to + myself. Learning is better than house and land. 'Doctrina sed vim,' etc. + You know what old Horace says? Why, sir, you would not believe it; but I + was the man who killed his Majesty the King of Sardinia in our yesterday's + paper. Nothing is too arduous for genius. Fag hard, my boy, and you may + rival (for the thing, though difficult, may not be impossible) Augustus + Tomlinson!” + </p> + <p> + At the conclusion of this harangue, a knock at the door being heard, Paul + took his departure, and met in the hall a fine-looking person dressed in + the height of the fashion, and wearing a pair of prodigiously large + buckles in his shoes. Paul looked, and his heart swelled. “I may rival,” + thought he,—“those were his very words,—I may rival (for the + thing, though difficult, is not impossible) Augustus Tomlinson!” Absorbed + in meditation, he went silently home. The next day the memoirs of the + great Turpin were committed to the flames, and it was noticeable that + henceforth Paul observed a choicer propriety of words, that he assumed a + more refined air of dignity, and that he paid considerably more attention + than heretofore to the lessons of Mr. Peter MacGrawler. Although it must + be allowed that our young hero's progress in the learned languages was not + astonishing, yet an early passion for reading, growing stronger and + stronger by application, repaid him at last with a tolerable knowledge of + the mother-tongue. We must, however, add that his more favourite and + cherished studies were scarcely of that nature which a prudent preceptor + would have greatly commended. They lay chiefly among novels, plays, and + poetry,—which last he affected to that degree that he became + somewhat of a poet himself. Nevertheless these literary avocations, + profitless as they seemed, gave a certain refinement to his tastes which + they were not likely otherwise to have acquired at the Mug; and while they + aroused his ambition to see something of the gay life they depicted, they + imparted to his temper a tone of enterprise and of thoughtless generosity + which perhaps contributed greatly to counteract those evil influences + towards petty vice to which the examples around him must have exposed his + tender youth. But, alas! a great disappointment to Paul's hope of + assistance and companionship in his literary labours befell him. Mr. + Augustus Tomlinson, one bright morning, disappeared, leaving word with his + numerous friends that he was going to accept a lucrative situation in the + North of England. Notwithstanding the shock this occasioned to the + affectionate heart and aspiring temper of our friend Paul, it abated not + his ardour in that field of science which it seemed that the distinguished + absentee had so successfully cultivated. By little and little, he + possessed himself (in addition to the literary stores we have alluded to) + of all it was in the power of the wise and profound Peter MacGrawler to + impart unto him; and at the age of sixteen he began (oh the presumption of + youth!) to fancy himself more learned than his master. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV. + </h2> + <p> + He had now become a young man of extreme fashion, and as much repandu in + society as the utmost and most exigent coveter of London celebrity could + desire. He was, of course, a member of the clubs, etc. He was, in short, + of that oft-described set before whom all minor beaux sink into + insignificance, or among whom they eventually obtain a subaltern grade, by + a sacrifice of a due portion of their fortune.—Almack's Revisited. + </p> + <p> + By the soul of the great Malebranche, who made “A Search after Truth,” and + discovered everything beautiful except that which he searched for,—by + the soul of the great Malebranche, whom Bishop Berkeley found suffering + under an inflammation in the lungs, and very obligingly talked to death + (an instance of conversational powers worthy the envious emulation of all + great metaphysicians and arguers),—by the soul of that illustrious + man, it is amazing to us what a number of truths there are broken up into + little fragments, and scattered here and there through the world. What a + magnificent museum a man might make of the precious minerals, if he would + but go out with his basket under his arm, and his eyes about him! We + ourselves picked up this very day a certain small piece of truth, with + which we propose to explain to thee, fair reader, a sinister turn in the + fortunes of Paul. + </p> + <p> + “Wherever,” says a living sage, “you see dignity, you may be sure there is + expense requisite to support it.” So was it with Paul. A young gentleman + who was heir-presumptive to the Mug, and who enjoyed a handsome person + with a cultivated mind, was necessarily of a certain station of society, + and an object of respect in the eyes of the manoeuvring mammas of the + vicinity of Thames Court. Many were the parties of pleasure to Deptford + and Greenwich which Paul found himself compelled to attend; and we need + not refer our readers to novels upon fashionable life to inform them that + in good society the gentlemen always pay for the ladies! Nor was this all + the expense to which his expectations exposed him. A gentleman could + scarcely attend these elegant festivities without devoting some little + attention to his dress; and a fashionable tailor plays the deuce with + one's yearly allowance. + </p> + <p> + We who reside, be it known to you, reader, in Little Brittany are not very + well acquainted with the manners of the better classes in St. James's. But + there was one great vice among the fine people about Thames Court which we + make no doubt does not exist anywhere else,—namely, these fine + people were always in an agony to seem finer than they were; and the more + airs a gentleman or a lady gave him or her self, the more important they + became. Joe, the dog's-meat man, had indeed got into society entirely from + a knack of saying impertinent things to everybody; and the smartest + exclusives of the place, who seldom visited any one where there was not a + silver teapot, used to think Joe had a great deal in him because he + trundled his cart with his head in the air, and one day gave the very + beadle of the parish “the cut direct.” + </p> + <p> + Now this desire to be so exceedingly fine not only made the society about + Thames Court unpleasant, but expensive. Every one vied with his neighbour; + and as the spirit of rivalry is particularly strong in youthful bosoms, we + can scarcely wonder that it led Paul into many extravagances. The evil of + all circles that profess to be select is high play; and the reason is + obvious: persons who have the power to bestow on another an advantage he + covets would rather sell it than give it; and Paul, gradually increasing + in popularity and ton, found himself, in spite of his classical education, + no match for the finished, or, rather, finishing gentlemen with whom he + began to associate. His first admittance into the select coterie of these + men of the world was formed at the house of Bachelor Bill, a person of + great notoriety among that portion of the elite which emphatically + entitles itself “Flash.” However, as it is our rigid intention in this + work to portray at length no episodical characters whatsoever, we can + afford our readers but a slight and rapid sketch of Bachelor Bill. + </p> + <p> + This personage was of Devonshire extraction. His mother had kept the + pleasantest public-house in town, and at her death Bill succeeded to her + property and popularity. All the young ladies in the neighbourhood of + Fiddler's Row, where he resided, set their caps at him: all the most + fashionable prigs, or tobymen, sought to get him into their set; and the + most crack blowen in London would have given her ears at any time for a + loving word from Bachelor Bill. But Bill was a longheaded, prudent fellow, + and of a remarkably cautious temperament. He avoided marriage and + friendship; namely, he was neither plundered nor cornuted. He was a tall, + aristocratic cove, of a devilish neat address, and very gallant, in an + honest way, to the blowens. Like most single men, being very much the + gentleman so far as money was concerned, he gave them plenty of “feeds,” + and from time to time a very agreeable hop. His bingo [Brandy] was + unexceptionable; and as for his stark-naked [Gin], it was voted the most + brilliant thing in nature. In a very short time, by his blows-out and his + bachelorship,—for single men always arrive at the apex of haut ton + more easily than married,—he became the very glass of fashion; and + many were the tight apprentices, even at the west end of the town, who + used to turn back in admiration of Bachelor Bill, when of a Sunday + afternoon he drove down his varment gig to his snug little box on the + borders of Turnham Green. Bill's happiness was not, however, wholly + without alloy. The ladies of pleasure are always so excessively angry when + a man does not make love to them, that there is nothing they will not say + against him; and the fair matrons in the vicinity of Fiddler's Row spread + all manner of unfounded reports against poor Bachelor Bill. By degrees, + however,—for, as Tacitus has said, doubtless with a prophetic eye to + Bachelor Bill, “the truth gains by delay,”—these reports began to + die insensibly away; and Bill now waxing near to the confines of middle + age, his friends comfortably settled for him that he would be Bachelor + Bill all his life. For the rest, he was an excellent fellow,—gave + his broken victuals to the poor, professed a liberal turn of thinking, and + in all the quarrels among the blowens (your crack blowens are a + quarrelsome set!) always took part with the weakest. Although Bill + affected to be very select in his company, he was never forgetful of his + old friends; and Mrs. Margery Lobkins having been very good to him when he + was a little boy in a skeleton jacket, he invariably sent her a card to + his soirees. The good lady, however, had not of late years deserted her + chimney-corner. Indeed, the racket of fashionable life was too much for + her nerves; and the invitation had become a customary form not expected to + be acted upon, but not a whit the less regularly used for that reason. As + Paul had now attained his sixteenth year, and was a fine, handsome lad, + the dame thought he would make an excellent representative of the Mug's + mistress; and that, for her protege, a ball at Bill's house would be no + bad commencement of “Life in London.” Accordingly, she intimated to the + Bachelor a wish to that effect; and Paul received the following invitation + from Bill:— + </p> + <p> + “Mr. William Duke gives a hop and feed in a quiet way on Monday next, and + hops Mr. Paul Lobkins will be of the party. N. B. Gentlemen is expected to + come in pumps.” + </p> + <p> + When Paul entered, he found Bachelor Bill leading off the ball to the tune + of “Drops of Brandy,” with a young lady to whom, because she had been a + strolling player, the Ladies Patronesses of Fiddler's Row had thought + proper to behave with a very cavalier civility. The good Bachelor had no + notion, as he expressed it, of such tantrums, and he caused it to be + circulated among the finest of the blowens, that he expected all who + kicked their heels at his house would behave decent and polite to young + Mrs. Dot. This intimation, conveyed to the ladies with all that + insinuating polish for which Bachelor Bill was so remarkable, produced a + notable effect; and Mrs. Dot, being now led off by the flash Bachelor, was + overpowered with civilities the rest of the evening. + </p> + <p> + When the dance was ended, Bill very politely shook hands with Paul, and + took an early opportunity of introducing him to some of the most “noted + characters” of the town. Among these were the smart Mr. Allfair, the + insinuating Henry Finish, the merry Jack Hookey, the knowing Charles + Trywit, and various others equally noted for their skill in living + handsomely upon their own brains, and the personals of other people. To + say truth, Paul, who at that time was an honest lad, was less charmed than + he had anticipated by the conversation of these chevaliers of industry. He + was more pleased with the clever though self-sufficient remarks of a + gentleman with a remarkably fine head of hair, and whom we would more + impressively than the rest introduce to our reader under the appellation + of Mr. Edward Pepper, generally termed Long Ned. As this worthy was + destined afterwards to be an intimate associate of Paul, our main reason + for attending the hop at Bachelor Bill's is to note, as the importance of + the event deserves, the epoch of the commencement of their acquaintance. + </p> + <p> + Long Ned and Paul happened to sit next to each other at supper, and they + conversed together so amicably that Paul, in the hospitality of his heart, + expressed a hope that he should see Mr. Pepper at the Mug! + </p> + <p> + “Mug,—Mug!” repeated Pepper, half shutting his eyes, with the air of + a dandy about to be impertinent; “ah, the name of a chapel, is it not? + There's a sect called Muggletonians, I think?” + </p> + <p> + “As to that,” said Paul, colouring at this insinuation against the Mug, + “Mrs. Lobkins has no more religion than her betters; but the Mug is a very + excellent house, and frequented by the best possible company.” + </p> + <p> + “Don't doubt it!” said Ned. “Remember now that I was once there, and saw + one Dummie Dunnaker,—is not that the name? I recollect some years + ago, when I first came out, that Dummie and I had an adventure together; + to tell you the truth, it was not the sort of thing I would do now. But—would + you believe it, Mr. Paul?—this pitiful fellow was quite rude to me + the only time I ever met him since; that is to say, the only time I ever + entered the Mug. I have no notion of such airs in a merchant,—a + merchant of rags! Those commercial fellows are getting quite + insufferable.” + </p> + <p> + “You surprise me,” said Paul. “Poor Dummie is the last man to be rude; he + is as civil a creature as ever lived.” + </p> + <p> + “Or sold a rag,” said Ned. “Possibly! Don't doubt his amiable qualities in + the least. Pass the bingo, my good fellow. Stupid stuff, this dancing!” + </p> + <p> + “Devilish stupid!” echoed Harry Finish, across the table. “Suppose we + adjourn to Fish Lane, and rattle the ivories! What say you, Mr. Lobkins?” + </p> + <p> + Afraid of the “ton's stern laugh, which scarce the proud philosopher can + scorn,” and not being very partial to dancing, Paul assented to the + proposition; and a little party, consisting of Harry Finish, Allfair, Long + Ned, and Mr. Hookey, adjourned to Fish Lane, where there was a club, + celebrated among men who live by their wits, at which “lush” and “baccy” + were gratuitously sported in the most magnificent manner. Here the evening + passed away very delightfully, and Paul went home without a “brad” in his + pocket. + </p> + <p> + From that time Paul's visits to Fish Lane became unfortunately regular; + and in a very short period, we grieve to say, Paul became that + distinguished character, a gentleman of three outs,—“out of pocket, + out of elbows, and out of credit.” The only two persons whom he found + willing to accommodate him with a slight loan, as the advertisements + signed X. Y. have it, were Mr. Dummie Dunnaker and Mr. Pepper, surnamed + the Long. The latter, however, while he obliged the heir to the Mug, never + condescended to enter that noted place of resort; and the former, whenever + he good-naturedly opened his purse-strings, did it with a hearty caution + to shun the acquaintance of Long Ned,—“a parson,” said Dummie, “of + wery dangerous morals, and not by no manner of means a fit 'sociate for a + young gemman of cracter like leetle Paul!” So earnest was this caution, + and so especially pointed at Long Ned,—although the company of Mr. + Allfair or Mr. Finish might be said to be no less prejudicial,—that + it is probable that stately fastidiousness of manner which Lord Normanby + rightly observes, in one of his excellent novels, makes so many enemies in + the world, and which sometimes characterized the behaviour of Long Ned, + especially towards the men of commerce, was a main reason why Dummie was + so acutely and peculiarly alive to the immoralities of that lengthy + gentleman. At the same time we must observe that when Paul, remembering + what Pepper had said respecting his early adventure with Mr. Dunnaker, + repeated it to the merchant, Dummie could not conceal a certain confusion, + though he merely remarked, with a sort of laugh, that it was not worth + speaking about; and it appeared evident to Paul that something unpleasant + to the man of rags, which was not shared by the unconscious Pepper, lurked + in the reminiscence of their past acquaintance. How beit, the circumstance + glided from Paul's attention the moment afterwards; and he paid, we are + concerned to say, equally little heed to the cautions against Ned with + which Dummie regaled him. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps (for we must now direct a glance towards his domestic concerns) + one great cause which drove Paul to Fish Lane was the uncomfortable life + he led at home. For though Mrs. Lobkins was extremely fond of her protege, + yet she was possessed, as her customers emphatically remarked, “of the + devil's own temper;” and her native coarseness never having been softened + by those pictures of gay society which had, in many a novel and comic + farce, refined the temperament of the romantic Paul, her manner of venting + her maternal reproaches was certainly not a little revolting to a lad of + some delicacy of feeling. Indeed, it often occurred to him to leave her + house altogether, and seek his fortunes alone, after the manner of the + ingenious Gil Blas or the enterprising Roderick Random; and this idea, + though conquered and reconquered, gradually swelled and increased at his + heart, even as swelleth that hairy ball found in the stomach of some + suffering heifer after its decease. Among these projects of enterprise the + reader will hereafter notice that an early vision of the Green Forest + Cave, in which Turpin was accustomed, with a friend, a ham, and a wife, to + conceal himself, flitted across his mind. At this time he did not, + perhaps, incline to the mode of life practised by the hero of the roads; + but he certainly clung not the less fondly to the notion of the cave. + </p> + <p> + The melancholy flow of our hero's life was now, however, about to be + diverted by an unexpected turn, and the crude thoughts of boyhood to + burst, “like Ghilan's giant palm,” into the fruit of a manly resolution. + </p> + <p> + Among the prominent features of Mrs. Lobkins's mind was a sovereign + contempt for the unsuccessful. The imprudence and ill-luck of Paul + occasioned her as much scorn as compassion; and when for the third time + within a week he stood, with a rueful visage and with vacant pockets, by + the dame's great chair, requesting an additional supply, the tides of her + wrath swelled into overflow. + </p> + <p> + “Look you, my kinchin cove,” said she,—and in order to give peculiar + dignity to her aspect, she put on while she spoke a huge pair of tin + spectacles,—“if so be as how you goes for to think as how I shall go + for to supply your wicious necessities, you will find yourself planted in + Queer Street. Blow me tight, if I gives you another mag.” + </p> + <p> + “But I owe Long Ned a guinea,” said Paul; “and Dummie Dunnaker lent me + three crowns. It ill becomes your heir apparent, my dear dame, to fight + shy of his debts of honour.” + </p> + <p> + “Taradididdle, don't think for to wheedle me with your debts and your + honour,” said the dame, in a passion. “Long Ned is as long in the forks + [fingers] as he is in the back; may Old Harry fly off with him! And as for + Durnmie Dunnaker, I wonders how you, brought up such a swell, and blest + with the wery best of hedications, can think of putting up with such + wulgar 'sociates. I tells you what, Paul, you'll please to break with + them, smack and at once, or devil a brad you'll ever get from Peg + Lobkins.” So saying, the old lady turned round in her chair, and helped + herself to a pipe of tobacco. + </p> + <p> + Paul walked twice up and down the apartment, and at last stopped opposite + the dame's chair. He was a youth of high spirit; and though he was + warm-hearted, and had a love for Mrs. Lobkins, which her care and + affection for hire well deserved, yet he was rough in temper, and not + constantly smooth in speech. It is true that his heart smote him + afterwards, whenever he had said anything to annoy Mrs. Lobkins, and he + was always the first to seek a reconciliation; but warm words produce cold + respect, and sorrow for the past is not always efficacious in amending the + future. Paul then, puffed up with the vanity of his genteel education, and + the friendship of Long Ned (who went to Ranelagh, and wore silver clocked + stockings), stopped opposite to Mrs. Lobkins's chair, and said with great + solemnity,— + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Pepper, madam, says very properly that I must have money to support + myself like a gentleman; and as you won't give it me, I am determined, + with many thanks for your past favours, to throw myself on the world, and + seek my fortune.” + </p> + <p> + If Paul was of no oily and bland temper, Dame Margaret Lobkins, it has + been seen, had no advantage on that score. (We dare say the reader has + observed that nothing so enrages persons on whom one depends as any + expressed determination of seeking independence.) Gazing therefore for one + moment at the open but resolute countenance of Paul, while all the blood + of her veins seemed gathering in fire and scarlet to her enlarging cheeks, + Dame Lobkins said,— + </p> + <p> + “Ifeaks, Master Pride-in-duds! seek your fortune yourself, will you? This + comes of my bringing you up, and letting you eat the bread of idleness and + charity, you toad of a thousand! Take that and be d—d to you!” and, + suiting the action to the word, the tube which she had withdrawn from her + mouth in order to utter her gentle rebuke whizzed through the air, grazed + Paul's cheek, and finished its earthly career by coming in violent contact + with the right eye of Duinmie Dunnaker, who at that exact moment entered + the room. + </p> + <p> + Paul had winced for a moment to avoid the missive; in the next he stood + perfectly upright. His cheeks glowed, his chest swelled; and the entrance + of Dummie Dunuaker, who was thus made the spectator of the affront he had + received, stirred his blood into a deeper anger and a more bitter + self-humiliation. All his former resolutions of departure, all the hard + words, the coarse allusions, the practical insults he had at any time + received, rushed upon him at once. He merely cast one look at the old + woman, whose rage was now half subsided, and turned slowly and in silence + to the door. + </p> + <p> + There is often something alarming in an occurrence merely because it is + that which we least expect. The astute Mrs. Lobkins, remembering the hardy + temper and fiery passions of Paul, had expected some burst of rage, some + vehement reply; and when she caught with one wandering eye his parting + look, and saw him turn so passively and mutely to the door, her heart + misgave her, she raised herself from her chair, and made towards him. + Unhappily for her chance of reconciliation, she had that day quaffed more + copiously of the bowl than usual; and the signs of intoxication visible in + her uncertain gait, her meaningless eye, her vacant leer, her ruby cheek, + all inspired Paul with feelings which at the moment converted resentment + into something very much like aversion. He sprang from her grasp to the + threshold. + </p> + <p> + “Where be you going, you imp of the world?” cried the dame. “Get in with + you, and say no more on the matter; be a bob-cull,—drop the bullies, + and you shall have the blunt!” + </p> + <p> + But Paul heeded not this invitation. + </p> + <p> + “I will eat the bread of idleness and charity no longer,” said he, + sullenly. “Good-by; and if ever I can pay you what I have cost you, I + will.” + </p> + <p> + He turned away as he spoke; and the dame, kindling with resentment at his + unseemly return to her proffered kindness, hallooed after him, and bade + that dark-coloured gentleman who keeps the fire-office below go along with + him. + </p> + <p> + Swelling with anger, pride, shame, and a half-joyous feeling of + emancipated independence, Paul walked on, he knew not whither, with his + head in the air, and his legs marshalling themselves into a military gait + of defiance. He had not proceeded far before he heard his name uttered + behind him; he turned, and saw the rueful face of Dummie Dunnaker. + </p> + <p> + Very inoffensively had that respectable person been employed during the + last part of the scene we have described in caressing his afflicted eye, + and muttering philosophical observations on the danger incurred by all + those who are acquainted with ladies of a choleric temperament; when Mrs. + Lobkins, turning round after Paul's departure, and seeing the pitiful + person of that Dummie Dunnaker, whose name she remembered Paul had + mentioned in his opening speech, and whom, therefore, with an illogical + confusion of ideas, she considered a party in the late dispute, exhausted + upon him all that rage which it was necessary for her comfort that she + should unburden somewhere. + </p> + <p> + She seized the little man by the collar,—the tenderest of all places + in gentlemen similarly circumstanced with regard to the ways of life,—and + giving him a blow, which took effect on his other and hitherto undamaged + eye, cried out,— + </p> + <p> + “I'll teach you, you blood-sucker [that is, parasite], to sponge upon + those as has expectations! I'll teach you to cozen the heir of the Mug, + you snivelling, whey-faced ghost of a farthing rushlight! What! you'll + lend my Paul three crowns, will you, when you knows as how you told me you + could not pay me a pitiful tizzy? Oh, you're a queer one, I warrants; but + you won't queer Margery Lobkins. Out of my ken, you cur of the mange!—out + of my ken; and if ever I claps my sees on you again, or if ever I knows as + how you makes a flat of my Paul, blow me tight but I'll weave you a hempen + collar,—I'll hang you, you dog, I will. What! you will answer me, + will you? Oh, you viper, budge and begone!” + </p> + <p> + It was in vain that Dummie protested his innocence. A violent coup-de-pied + broke off all further parlance. He made a clear house of the Mug; and the + landlady thereof, tottering back to her elbow-chair, sought out another + pipe, and, like all imaginative persons when the world goes wrong with + them, consoled herself for the absence of realities by the creations of + smoke. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile Dummie Dunnaker, muttering and murmuring bitter fancies, + overtook Paul, and accused that youth of having been the occasion of the + injuries he had just undergone. Paul was not at that moment in the humour + best adapted for the patient bearing of accusations. He answered Mr. + Dunnaker very shortly; and that respectable individual, still smarting + under his bruises, replied with equal tartness. Words grew high, and at + length Paul, desirous of concluding the conference, clenched his fist, and + told the redoubted Dummie that he would “knock him down.” There is + something peculiarly harsh and stunning in those three hard, wiry, sturdy, + stubborn monosyllables. Their very sound makes you double your fist if you + are a hero, or your pace if you are a peaceable man. They produced an + instant effect upon Dummie Dunnaker, aided as they were by the effect of + an athletic and youthful figure, already fast approaching to the height of + six feet, a flushed cheek, and an eye that bespoke both passion and + resolution. The rag-merchant's voice sank at once, and with the + countenance of a wronged Cassius he whimpered forth,— + </p> + <p> + “Knock me down? O leetle Paul, vot wicked vhids are those! Vot! Dummie + Dunnaker, as has dandled you on his knee mony's a time and oft! Vy, the + cove's 'art is as 'ard as junk, and as proud as a gardener's dog vith a + nosegay tied to his tail.” This pathetic remonstrance softened Paul's + anger. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Dummie,” said he, laughing, “I did not mean to hurt you, and + there's an end of it; and I am very sorry for the dame's ill-conduct; and + so I wish you a good-morning.” + </p> + <p> + “Vy, vere be you trotting to, leetle Paul?” said Dummie, grasping him by + the tail of the coat. + </p> + <p> + “The deuce a bit I know,” answered our hero; “but I think I shall drop a + call on Long Ned.” + </p> + <p> + “Avast there!” said Dummie, speaking under his breath; “if so be as you + von't blab, I'll tell you a bit of a secret. I heered as 'ow Long Ned + started for Hampshire this werry morning on a toby [Highway expedition] + consarn!” + </p> + <p> + “Ha!” said Paul, “then hang me if I know what to do!” + </p> + <p> + As he uttered these words, a more thorough sense of his destitution (if he + persevered in leaving the Mug) than he had hitherto felt rushed upon him; + for Paul had designed for a while to throw himself on the hospitality of + his Patagonian friend, and now that he found that friend was absent from + London and on so dangerous an expedition, he was a little puzzled what to + do with that treasure of intellect and wisdom which he carried about upon + his legs. Already he had acquired sufficient penetration (for Charles + Trywit and Harry Finish were excellent masters for initiating a man into + the knowledge of the world) to perceive that a person, however admirable + may be his qualities, does not readily find a welcome without a penny in + his pocket. In the neighbourhood of Thames Court he had, indeed, many + acquaintances; but the fineness of his language, acquired from his + education, and the elegance of his air, in which he attempted to blend in + happy association the gallant effrontery of Mr. Long Ned with the graceful + negligence of Mr. Augustus Tomlinson, had made him many enemies among + those acquaintances; and he was not willing—so great was our hero's + pride—to throw himself on the chance of their welcome, or to + publish, as it were, his exiled and crestfallen state. As for those boon + companions who had assisted him in making a wilderness of his pockets, he + had already found that that was the only species of assistance which they + were willing to render him. In a word, he could not for the life of him + conjecture in what quarter he should find the benefits of bed and board. + While he stood with his finger to his lip, undecided and musing, but fully + resolved at least on one thing,—not to return to the Mug,—little + Dummie, who was a good-natured fellow at the bottom, peered up in his + face, and said,— + </p> + <p> + “Vy, Paul, my kid, you looks down in the chops; cheer up,—care + killed a cat!” + </p> + <p> + Observing that this appropriate and encouraging fact of natural history + did not lessen the cloud upon Paul's brow, the acute Dummie Dunnaker + proceeded at once to the grand panacea for all evils, in his own profound + estimation. + </p> + <p> + “Paul, my ben cull,” said he, with a knowing wink, and nudging the young + gentleman in the left side, “vot do you say to a drop o' blue ruin? or, as + you likes to be conish [genteel], I does n't care if I sports you a glass + of port!” While Dunnaker was uttering this invitation, a sudden + reminiscence flashed across Paul: he bethought him at once of MacGrawler; + and he resolved forthwith to repair to the abode of that illustrious sage, + and petition at least for accommodation for the approaching night. So soon + as he had come to this determination, he shook off the grasp of the + amiable Dummie, and refusing with many thanks his hospitable invitation, + requested him to abstract from the dame's house, and lodge within his own + until called for, such articles of linen and clothing as belonged to Paul + and could easily be laid hold of, during one of the matron's evening + siestas, by the shrewd Dunnaker. The merchant promised that the commission + should be speedily executed; and Paul, shaking hands with him, proceeded + to the mansion of MacGrawler. + </p> + <p> + We must now go back somewhat in the natural course of our narrative, and + observe that among the minor causes which had conspired with the great one + of gambling to bring our excellent Paul to his present situation, was his + intimacy with MacGrawler; for when Paul's increasing years and roving + habits had put an end to the sage's instructions, there was thereby lopped + off from the preceptor's finances the weekly sum of two shillings and + sixpence, as well as the freedom of the dame's cellar and larder; and as, + in the reaction of feeling, and the perverse course of human affairs, + people generally repent the most of those actions once the most ardently + incurred, so poor Mrs. Lobkins, imagining that Paul's irregularities were + entirely owing to the knowledge he had acquired from MacGrawler's + instructions, grievously upbraided herself for her former folly in seeking + for a superior education for her protege; nay, she even vented upon the + sacred head of MacGrawler himself her dissatisfaction at the results of + his instructions. In like manner, when a man who can spell comes to be + hanged, the anti-educationists accuse the spelling-book of his murder. + High words between the admirer of ignorant innocence and the propagator of + intellectual science ensued, which ended in MacGrawler's final expulsion + from the Mug. + </p> + <p> + There are some young gentlemen of the present day addicted to the adoption + of Lord Byron's poetry, with the alteration of new rhymes, who are pleased + graciously to inform us that they are born to be the ruin of all those who + love them,—an interesting fact, doubtless, but which they might as + well keep to themselves. It would seem by the contents of this chapter as + if the same misfortune were destined to Paul. The exile of MacGrawler, the + insults offered to Dummie Dunnaker,—alike occasioned by him,—appear + to sanction that opinion. Unfortunately, though Paul was a poet, he was + not much of a sentimentalist; and he has never given us the edifying + ravings of his remorse on those subjects. But MacGrawler, like Dunnaker, + was resolved that our hero should perceive the curse of his fatality; and + as he still retained some influence over the mind of his quondam pupil, + his accusations against Paul, as the origin of his banishment, were + attended with a greater success than were the complaints of Dummie + Dunnaker on a similar calamity. Paul, who, like most people who are good + for nothing, had an excellent heart, was exceedingly grieved at + MacGrawler's banishment on his account; and he endeavoured to atone for it + by such pecuniary consolations as he was enabled to offer. These + MacGrawler (purely, we may suppose, from a benevolent desire to lessen the + boy's remorse) scrupled not to accept; and thus, so similar often are the + effects of virtue and of vice, the exemplary MacGrawler conspired with the + unprincipled Long Ned and the heartless Henry Finish in producing that + unenviable state of vacuity which now saddened over the pockets of Paul. + </p> + <p> + As our hero was slowly walking towards the sage's abode, depending on his + gratitude and friendship for a temporary shelter, one of those lightning + flashes of thought which often illumine the profoundest abyss of + affliction darted across his mind. Recalling the image of the critic, he + remembered that he had seen that ornament of “The Asinaeum” receive sundry + sums for his critical lucubrations. + </p> + <p> + “Why,” said Paul, seizing on that fact, and stopping short in the street,—“why + should I not turn critic myself?” + </p> + <p> + The only person to whom one ever puts a question with a tolerable + certainty of receiving a satisfactory answer is one's self. The moment + Paul started this luminous suggestion, it appeared to him that he had + discovered the mines of Potosi. Burning with impatience to discuss with + the great MacGrawler the feasibility of his project, he quickened his pace + almost into a run, and in a very few minutes, having only overthrown one + chimney-sweeper and two apple-women by the way, he arrived at the sage's + door. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Ye realms yet unrevealed to human sight, + Ye canes athwart the hapless hands that write, + Ye critic chiefs,-permit me to relate + The mystic wonders of your silent state! + + VIRGIL, AEneid, book vi. +</pre> + <p> + Fortune had smiled upon Mr. MacGrawler since he first undertook the + tuition of Mrs. Lobkins's protege. He now inhabited a second-floor, and + defied the sheriff and his evil spirits. It was at the dusk of evening + that Paul found him at home and alone. + </p> + <p> + Before the mighty man stood a pot of London porter; a candle, with an + unregarded wick, shed its solitary light upon his labours; and an infant + cat played sportively at his learned feet, beguiling the weary moments + with the remnants of the spiral cap wherewith, instead of laurel, the + critic had hitherto nightly adorned his brows. + </p> + <p> + So soon as MacGrawler, piercing through the gloomy mist which hung about + the chamber, perceived the person of the intruder, a frown settled upon + his brow. + </p> + <p> + “Have I not told you, youngster,” he growled, “never to enter a + gentleman's room without knocking? I tell you, sir, that manners are no + less essential to human happiness than virtue; wherefore, never disturb a + gentleman in his avocations, and sit yourself down without molesting the + cat!” + </p> + <p> + Paul, who knew that his respected tutor disliked any one to trace the + source of the wonderful spirit which he infused into his critical + compositions, affected not to perceive the pewter Hippocrene, and with + many apologies for his want of preparatory politeness, seated himself as + directed. It was then that the following edifying conversation ensued. + </p> + <p> + “The ancients,” quoth Paul, “were very great men, Mr. MacGrawler.” + </p> + <p> + “They were so, sir,” returned the critic; “we make it a rule in our + profession to assert that fact.” + </p> + <p> + “But, sir,” said Paul, “they were wrong now and then.” + </p> + <p> + “Never, Ignoramus; never!” + </p> + <p> + “They praised poverty, Mr. MacGrawler!” said Paul, with a sigh. + </p> + <p> + “Hem!” quoth the critic, a little staggered; but presently recovering his + characteristic, acumen, he observed, “It is true, Paul; but that was the + poverty of other people.” + </p> + <p> + There was a slight pause. “Criticism,” renewed Paul, “must be a most + difficult art.” + </p> + <p> + “A-hem! And what art is there, sir, that is not difficult,—at least, + to become master of?” + </p> + <p> + “True,” sighed Paul; “or else—” + </p> + <p> + “Or else what, boy?” repeated Mr. MacGrawler, seeing that Paul hesitated, + either from fear of his superior knowledge, as the critic's vanity + suggested, or from (what was equally likely) want of a word to express his + meaning. + </p> + <p> + “Why, I was thinking, sir,” said Paul, with that desperate courage which + gives a distinct and loud intonation to the voice of all who set, or think + they set, their fate upon a cast,—“I was thinking that I should like + to become a critic myself!” + </p> + <p> + “W-h-e-w!” whistled MacGrawler, elevating his eyebrows; “w-h-e-w! great + ends have come of less beginnings!” + </p> + <p> + Encouraging as this assertion was, coming as it did from the lips of so + great a man and so great a critic, at the very moment too when nothing + short of an anathema against arrogance and presumption was expected to + issue from those portals of wisdom, yet such is the fallacy of all human + hopes, that Paul's of a surety would have been a little less elated, had + he, at the same time his ears drank in the balm of these gracious words, + been able to have dived into the source whence they emanated. + </p> + <p> + “Know thyself!” was a precept the sage MacGrawler had endeavoured to obey; + consequently the result of his obedience was that even by himself he was + better known than trusted. Whatever he might appear to others, he had in + reality no vain faith in the infallibility of his own talents and + resources; as well might a butcher deem himself a perfect anatomist from + the frequent amputation of legs of mutton, as the critic of “The Asinaeum” + have laid “the flattering unction to his soul” that he was really skilled + in the art of criticism, or even acquainted with one of its commonest + rules, because he could with all speed cut up and disjoint any work, from + the smallest to the greatest, from the most superficial to the most + superior; and thus it was that he never had the want of candour to deceive + himself as to his own talents. Paul's wish therefore was no sooner + expressed than a vague but golden scheme of future profit illumined the + brain of MacGrawler,—in a word, he resolved that Paul should + henceforward share the labour of his critiques; and that he, MacGrawler, + should receive the whole profits in return for the honour thereby + conferred on his coadjutor. + </p> + <p> + Looking therefore at our hero with a benignant air, Mr. MacGrawler thus + continued:— + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I repeat,—great ends have come from less beginnings! Rome was + not built in a day; and I, Paul, I myself was not always the editor of + 'The Asinaeum.' You say wisely, criticism is a great science, a very great + science; and it maybe divided into three branches,—namely, 'to + tickle, to slash, and to plaster.' In each of these three I believe + without vanity I am a profound adept! I will initiate you into all. Your + labours shall begin this very evening. I have three works on my table; + they must be despatched by tomorrow night. I will take the most arduous; I + abandon to you the others. The three consist of a Romance, an Epic in + twelve books, and an Inquiry into the Human Mind, in three volumes. I, + Paul, will tickle the Romance; you this very evening shall plaster the + Epic, and slash the Inquiry!” + </p> + <p> + “Heavens, Mr. MacGrawler!” cried Paul, in consternation, “what do you + mean? I should never be able to read an epic in twelve books, and I should + fall asleep in the first page of the Inquiry. No, no, leave me the + Romance, and take the other two under your own protection!” + </p> + <p> + Although great genius is always benevolent, Mr. MacGrawler could not + restrain a smile of ineffable contempt at the simplicity of his pupil. + </p> + <p> + “Know, young gentleman,” said he, solemnly, “that the Romance in question + must be tickled; it is not given to raw beginners to conquer that great + mystery of our science.” + </p> + <p> + “Before we proceed further, explain the words of the art,” said Paul, + impatiently. + </p> + <p> + “Listen, then,” rejoined MacGrawler; and as he spoke, the candle cast an + awful glimmering on his countenance. “To slash is, speaking grammatically, + to employ the accusative, or accusing case; you must cut up your book + right and left, top and bottom, root and branch. To plaster a book is to + employ the dative, or giving case; and you must bestow on the work all the + superlatives in the language,—you must lay on your praise thick and + thin, and not leave a crevice untrowelled. But to tickle, sir, is a + comprehensive word, and it comprises all the infinite varieties that fill + the interval between slashing and plastering. This is the nicety of the + art, and you can only acquire it by practice; a few examples will suffice + to give you an idea of its delicacy. + </p> + <p> + “We will begin with the encouraging tickle: 'Although this work is full of + faults,—though the characters are unnatural, the plot utterly + improbable, the thoughts hackneyed, and the style ungrammatical,—yet + we would by no means discourage the author from proceeding; and in the + mean while we confidently recommend his work to the attention of the + reading public.” + </p> + <p> + “Take, now, the advising tickle: 'There is a good deal of merit in these + little volumes, although we must regret the evident haste in which they + were written. The author might do better,—we recommend him a study + of the best writers;' then conclude by a Latin quotation, which you may + take from one of the mottoes in the 'Spectator.' + </p> + <p> + “Now, young gentleman, for a specimen of the metaphorical tickle: 'We beg + this poetical aspirant to remember the fate of Pyrenaeus, who, attempting + to pursue the Muses, forgot that he had not the wings of the goddesses, + flung himself from the loftiest ascent he could reach, and perished.' + </p> + <p> + “This you see, Paul, is a loftier and more erudite sort of tickle, and may + be reserved for one of the Quarterly Reviews. Never throw away a simile + unnecessarily. + </p> + <p> + “Now for a sample of the facetious tickle: 'Mr.—-has obtained a + considerable reputation! Some fine ladies think him a great philosopher, + and he has been praised in our hearing by some Cambridge Fellows for his + knowledge of fashionable society.' + </p> + <p> + “For this sort of tickle we generally use the dullest of our tribe; and I + have selected the foregoing example from the criticisms of a distinguished + writer in 'The Asinaeum,' whom we call, par excellence, the Ass. + </p> + <p> + “There is a variety of other tickles,—the familiar, the vulgar, the + polite, the good-natured, the bitter; but in general all tickles may be + supposed to signify, however disguised, one or other of these meanings: + 'This book would be exceedingly good if it were not exceedingly bad;' or, + 'this book would be exceedingly bad if it were not exceedingly good.' + </p> + <p> + “You have now, Paul, a general idea of the superior art required by the + tickle?” + </p> + <p> + Our hero signified his assent by a sort of hysterical sound between a + laugh and a groan. MacGrawler continued:— + </p> + <p> + “There is another grand difficulty attendant on this class of criticism.—it + is generally requisite to read a few pages of the work; because we seldom + tickle without extracting, and it requires some judgment to make the + context agree with the extract. But it is not often necessary to extract + when you slash or when you plaster; when you slash, it is better in + general to conclude with: 'After what we have said, it is unnecessary to + add that we cannot offend the taste of our readers by any quotation from + this execrable trash.' And when you plaster, you may wind up with: 'We + regret that our limits will not allow us to give any extracts from this + wonderful and unrivalled work. We must refer our readers to the book + itself.' + </p> + <p> + “And now, sir, I think I have given you a sufficient outline of the noble + science of Scaliger and MacGrawler. Doubtless you are reconciled to the + task I have allotted you; and while I tickle the Romance, you will slash + the Inquiry and plaster the Epic!” + </p> + <p> + “I will do my best, sir!” said Paul, with that modest yet noble simplicity + which becomes the virtuously ambitious; and MacGrawler forthwith gave him + pen and paper, and set him down to his undertaking. + </p> + <p> + He had the good fortune to please MacGrawler, who, after having made a few + corrections in style, declared he evinced a peculiar genius in that branch + of composition. And then it was that Paul, made conceited by praise, said, + looking contemptuously in the face of his preceptor, and swinging his legs + to and fro,— + </p> + <p> + “And what, sir, shall I receive for the plastered Epic and the slashed + Inquiry?” + </p> + <p> + As the face of the school-boy who, when guessing, as he thinks rightly, at + the meaning of some mysterious word in Cornelius Nepos, receiveth not the + sugared epithet of praise, but a sudden stroke across the os humerosve + [Face or shoulders] even so, blank, puzzled, and thunder-stricken, waxed + the face of Mr. MacGrawler at the abrupt and astounding audacity of Paul. + </p> + <p> + “Receive!” he repeated,—“receive! Why, you impudent, ungrateful + puppy, would you steal the bread from your old master? If I can obtain for + your crude articles an admission into the illustrious pages of 'The + Asinaeum,' will you not be sufficiently paid, sir, by the honour? Answer + me that. Another man, young gentleman, would have charged you a premium + for his instructions; and here have I, in one lesson, imparted to you all + the mysteries of the science, and for nothing! And you talk to me of + 'receive!—receive!' Young gentleman, in the words of the immortal + bard, 'I would as lief you had talked to me of ratsbane!'” + </p> + <p> + “In fine, then, Mr. MacGrawler, I shall get nothing for my trouble?” said + Paul. + </p> + <p> + “To be sure not, sir; the very best writer in 'The Asinaeum' only gets + three shillings an article!” Almost more than he deserves, the critic + might have added; for he who writes for nobody should receive nothing! + </p> + <p> + “Then, sir,” quoth the mercenary Paul, profanely, and rising, he kicked + with one kick the cat, the Epic, and the Inquiry to the other end of the + room,—“then, sir, you may all go to the devil!” + </p> + <p> + We do not, O gentle reader! seek to excuse this hasty anathema. The habits + of childhood will sometimes break forth despite of the after blessings of + education; and we set not up Paul for thine imitation as that model of + virtue and of wisdom which we design thee to discover in MacGrawler. + </p> + <p> + When that great critic perceived Paul had risen and was retreating in high + dudgeon towards the door, he rose also, and repeating Paul's last words, + said,— + </p> + <p> + “'Go to the devil!' Not so quick, young gentleman,—festinca lente,—all + in good time. What though I did, astonished at your premature request, say + that you should receive nothing; yet my great love for you may induce me + to bestir myself on your behalf. The 'Asinaeum,' it is true, only gives + three shillings an article in general; but I am its editor, and will + intercede with the proprietors on your behalf. Yes, yes; I will see what + is to be done. Stop a bit, my boy.” + </p> + <p> + Paul, though very irascible, was easily pacified; he reseated himself, and + taking MacGrawler's hand, said,— + </p> + <p> + “Forgive me for my petulance, my dear sir; but, to tell you the honest + truth, I am very low in the world just at present, and must get money in + some way or another,—in short, I must either pick pockets or write + (not gratuitously) for 'The Asinaeum. '” + </p> + <p> + And without further preliminary Paul related his present circumstances to + the critic, declared his determination not to return to the Mug, and + requested, at least, from the friendship of his old preceptor the + accommodation of shelter for that night. + </p> + <p> + MacGrawler was exceedingly disconcerted at hearing so bad an account of + his pupil's finances as well as prospects, for he had secretly intended to + regale himself that evening with a bowl of punch, for which he purposed + that Paul should pay; but as he knew the quickness of parts possessed by + the young gentleman, as also the great affection entertained for him by + Mrs. Lobkins, who in all probability would solicit his return the next + day, he thought it not unlikely that Paul would enjoy the same good + fortune as that presiding over his feline companion, which, though it had + just been kicked to the other end of the apartment, was now resuming its + former occupation, unhurt, and no less merrily than before. He therefore + thought it would be imprudent to discard his quondam pupil, despite of his + present poverty; and, moreover, although the first happy project of + pocketing all the profits derivable from Paul's industry was now + abandoned, he still perceived great facility in pocketing a part of the + same receipts. He therefore answered Paul very warmly, that he fully + sympathized with him in his present melancholy situation; that, so far as + he was concerned, he would share his last shilling with his beloved pupil, + but that he regretted at that moment he had only eleven-pence halfpenny in + his pocket; that he would, however, exert himself to the utmost in + procuring an opening for Paul's literary genius; and that, if Paul liked + to take the slashing and plastering part of the business on himself, he + would willingly surrender it to him, and give him all the profits whatever + they might be. En attendant, he regretted that a violent rheumatism + prevented his giving up his own bed to his pupil, but that he might, with + all the pleasure imaginable, sleep upon the rug before the fire. Paul was + so affected by this kindness in the worthy man, that, though not much + addicted to the melting mood, he shed tears of gratitude. He insisted, + however, on not receiving the whole reward of his labours; and at length + it was settled, though with a noble reluctance on the part of MacGrawler, + that it should be equally shared between the critic and the critic's + protege,—the half profits being reasonably awarded to MacGrawler for + his instructions and his recommendation. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI. + </h2> + <h3> + Bad events peep out o' the tail of good purposes.—Bartholomew Fair. + </h3> + <p> + IT was not long before there was a visible improvement in the pages of + “The Asinaeum.” The slashing part of that incomparable journal was + suddenly conceived and carried on with a vigour and spirit which + astonished the hallowed few who contributed to its circulation. It was not + difficult to see that a new soldier had been enlisted in the service; + there was something so fresh and hearty about the abuse that it could + never have proceeded from the worn-out acerbity of an old slasher. To be + sure, a little ignorance of ordinary facts, and an innovating method of + applying words to meanings which they never were meant to denote, were now + and then distinguishable in the criticisms of the new Achilles; + nevertheless, it was easy to attribute these peculiarities to an original + turn of thinking; and the rise of the paper on the appearance of a series + of articles upon contemporary authors, written by this “eminent hand,” was + so remarkable that fifty copies—a number perfectly unprecedented in + the annals of “The Asinaeum”—were absolutely sold in one week; + indeed, remembering the principle on which it was founded, one sturdy old + writer declared that the journal would soon do for itself and become + popular. There was a remarkable peculiarity about the literary debutant + who signed himself “Nobilitas:” he not only put old words to a new sense, + but he used words which had never, among the general run of writers, been + used before. This was especially remarkable in the application of hard + names to authors. Once, in censuring a popular writer for pleasing the + public and thereby growing rich, the “eminent hand” ended with “He who + surreptitiously accumulates bustle [money] is, in fact, nothing better + than a buzz gloak!” [Pickpocket]. + </p> + <p> + These enigmatical words and recondite phrases imparted a great air of + learning to the style of the new critic; and from the unintelligible + sublimity of his diction, it seemed doubtful whether he was a poet from + Highgate or a philosopher from Konigsberg. At all events, the reviewer + preserved his incognito, and while his praises were rung at no less than + three tea-tables, even glory appeared to him less delicious than disguise. + </p> + <p> + In this incognito, reader, thou hast already discovered Paul; and now we + have to delight thee with a piece of unexampled morality in the excellent + MacGrawler. That worthy Mentor, perceiving that there was an inherent turn + for dissipation and extravagance in our hero, resolved magnanimously + rather to bring upon himself the sins of treachery and malappropriation + than suffer his friend and former pupil to incur those of wastefulness and + profusion. Contrary therefore to the agreement made with Paul, instead of + giving that youth the half of those profits consequent on his brilliant + lucubrations, he imparted to him only one fourth, and, with the utmost + tenderness for Paul's salvation, applied the other three portions of the + same to his own necessities. The best actions are, alas! often + misconstrued in this world; and we are now about to record a remarkable + instance of that melancholy truth. + </p> + <p> + One evening MacGrawler, having “moistened his virtue” in the same manner + that the great Cato is said to have done, in the confusion which such a + process sometimes occasions in the best regulated heads, gave Paul what + appeared to him the outline of a certain article which he wished to be + slashingly filled up, but what in reality was the following note from the + editor of a monthly periodical:— + </p> + <p> + SIR,—Understanding that my friend, Mr.—-, proprietor of “The + Asinaeum,” allows the very distinguished writer whom you have introduced + to the literary world, and who signs himself “Nobilitas,” only five + shillings an article, I beg, through you, to tender him double that sum. + The article required will be of an ordinary length. + </p> + <p> + I am, sir, etc., + </p> + <p> + Now, that very morning, MacGrawler had informed Paul of this offer, + altering only, from the amiable motives we have already explained, the sum + of ten shillings to that of four; and no sooner did Paul read the + communication we have placed before the reader than, instead of gratitude + to MacGrawler for his consideration of Paul's moral infirmities, he + conceived against that gentleman the most bitter resentment. He did not, + however, vent his feelings at once upon the Scotsman,—indeed, at + that moment, as the sage was in a deep sleep under the table, it would + have been to no purpose had he unbridled his indignation,—but he + resolved without loss of time to quit the abode of the critic. “And, + indeed,” said he, soliloquizing, “I am heartily tired of this life, and + shall be very glad to seek some other employment. Fortunately, I have + hoarded up five guineas and four shillings; and with that independence in + my possession, since I have forsworn gambling, I cannot easily starve.” + </p> + <p> + To this soliloquy succeeded a misanthropical revery upon the faithlessness + of friends; and the meditation ended in Paul's making up a little bundle + of such clothes, etc., as Dummie had succeeded in removing from the Mug, + and which Paul had taken from the rag-merchant's abode one morning when + Dummie was abroad. + </p> + <p> + When this easy task was concluded, Paul wrote a short and upbraiding note + to his illustrious preceptor, and left it unsealed on the table. He then, + upsetting the ink-bottle on MacGrawler's sleeping countenance, departed + from the house, and strolled away he cared not whither. + </p> + <p> + The evening was gradually closing as Paul, chewing the cud of his bitter + fancies, found himself on London Bridge. He paused there, and leaning over + the bridge, gazed wistfully on the gloomy waters that rolled onward, + caring not a minnow for the numerous charming young ladies who have + thought proper to drown themselves in those merciless waves, thereby + depriving many a good mistress of an excellent housemaid or an invaluable + cook, and many a treacherous Phaon of letters beginning with “Parjured + Villen,” and ending with “Your affectionot but melancholy Molly.” + </p> + <p> + While thus musing, he was suddenly accosted by a gentleman in boots and + spurs, having a riding-whip in one hand, and the other hand stuck in the + pocket of his inexpressibles. The hat of the gallant was gracefully and + carefully put on, so as to derange as little as possible a profusion of + dark curls, which, streaming with unguents, fell low not only on either + side of the face, but on the neck and even the shoulders of the owner. The + face was saturnine and strongly marked, but handsome and striking. There + was a mixture of frippery and sternness in its expression,—something + between Madame Vestries and T. P. Cooke, or between “lovely Sally” and a + “Captain bold of Halifax.” The stature of this personage was remarkably + tall, and his figure was stout, muscular, and well knit. In fine, to + complete his portrait, and give our readers of the present day an exact + idea of this hero of the past, we shall add that he was altogether that + sort of gentleman one sees swaggering in the Burlington Arcade, with his + hair and hat on one side, and a military cloak thrown over his shoulders; + or prowling in Regent Street, towards the evening, whiskered and cigarred. + </p> + <p> + Laying his hand on the shoulder of our hero, this gentleman said, with an + affected intonation of voice,— + </p> + <p> + “How dost, my fine fellow? Long since I saw you! Damme, but you look the + worse for wear. What hast thou been doing with thyself?” + </p> + <p> + “Ha!” cried our hero, returning the salutation of the stranger, “and is it + Long Ned whom I behold? I am indeed glad to meet you; and I say, my + friend, I hope what I heard of you is not true!” + </p> + <p> + “Hist!” said Long Ned, looking round fearfully, and sinking his voice; + “never talk of what you hear of gentlemen, except you wish to bring them + to their last dying speech and confession. But come with me, my lad; there + is a tavern hard by, and we may as well discuss matters over a pint of + wine. You look cursed seedy, to be sure; but I can tell Bill the waiter—famous + fellow, that Bill!—that you are one of my tenants, come to complain + of my steward, who has just distrained you for rent, you dog! No wonder + you look so worn in the rigging. Come, follow me. I can't walk with thee. + It would look too like Northumberland House and the butcher's abode next + door taking a stroll together.” + </p> + <p> + “Really, Mr. Pepper,” said our hero, colouring, and by no means pleased + with the ingenious comparison of his friend, “if you are ashamed of my + clothes, which I own might be newer, I will not wound you with my—” + </p> + <p> + “Pooh! my lad, pooh!” cried Long Ned, interrupting him; “never take + offence. I never do. I never take anything but money, except, indeed, + watches. I don't mean to hurt your feelings; all of us have been poor + once. 'Gad, I remember when I had not a dud to my back; and now, you see + me,—you see me, Paul! But come, 't is only through the streets you + need separate from me. Keep a little behind, very little; that will do. + Ay, that will do,” repeated Long Ned, mutteringly to himself; “they'll + take him for a bailiff. It looks handsome nowadays to be so attended; it + shows one had credit once!” + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile Paul, though by no means pleased with the contempt expressed for + his personal appearance by his lengthy associate, and impressed with a + keener sense than ever of the crimes of his coat and the vices of his + other garment,—“Oh, breathe not its name!”—followed doggedly + and sullenly the strutting steps of the coxcombical Mr. Pepper. That + personage arrived at last at a small tavern, and arresting a waiter who + was running across the passage into the coffee-room with a dish of + hung-beef, demanded (no doubt from a pleasing anticipation of a similar + pendulous catastrophe) a plate of the same excellent cheer, to be carried, + in company with a bottle of port, into a private apartment. No sooner did + he find himself alone with Paul than, bursting into a loud laugh, Mr. Ned + surveyed his comrade from head to foot through an eyeglass which he wore + fastened to his button-hole by a piece of blue ribbon. + </p> + <p> + “Well, 'gad now,” said he, stopping ever and anon, as if to laugh the more + heartily, “stab my vitals, but you are a comical quiz. I wonder what the + women would say, if they saw the dashing Edward Pepper, Esquire, walking + arm in arm with thee at Ranelagh or Vauxhall! Nay, man, never be downcast; + if I laugh at thee, it is only to make thee look a little merrier thyself. + Why, thou lookest like a book of my grandfather's called Burton's + 'Anatomy of Melancholy;' and faith, a shabbier bound copy of it I never + saw.” + </p> + <p> + “These jests are a little hard,” said Paul, struggling between anger and + an attempt to smile; and then recollecting his late literary occupations, + and the many extracts he had taken from “Gleanings of the Belles Lettres,” + in order to impart elegance to his criticisms, he threw out his hand + theatrically, and spouted with a solemn face,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Of all the griefs that harass the distrest, + Sure the most bitter is a scornful jest!'” + </pre> + <p> + “Well, now, prithee forgive me,” said Long Ned, composing his features, + “and just tell me what you have been doing the last two months.” + </p> + <p> + “Slashing and plastering!” said Paul, with conscious pride. + </p> + <p> + “Slashing and what? The boy's mad. What do you mean, Paul?” + </p> + <p> + “In other words,” said our hero, speaking very slowly, “know, O very Long + Ned! that I have been critic to 'The Asinaeum.'” + </p> + <p> + If Paul's comrade laughed at first, he now laughed ten times more merrily + than ever. He threw his full length of limb upon a neighbouring sofa, and + literally rolled with cachinnatory convulsions; nor did his risible + emotions subside until the entrance of the hung-beef restored him to + recollection. Seeing, then, that a cloud lowered over Paul's countenance, + he went up to him with something like gravity, begged his pardon for his + want of politeness, and desired him to wash away all unkindness in a + bumper of port. Paul, whose excellent dispositions we have before had + occasion to remark, was not impervious to his friend's apologies. He + assured Long Ned that he quite forgave him for his ridicule of the high + situation he (Paul) had enjoyed in the literary world; that it was the + duty of a public censor to bear no malice, and that he should be very glad + to take his share in the interment of the hung-beef. + </p> + <p> + The pair now sat down to their repast; and Paul, who had fared but + meagerly in that Temple of Athena over which MacGrawler presided, did + ample justice to the viands before him. By degrees, as he ate and drank, + his heart opened to his companion; and laying aside that Asinaeum dignity + which he had at first thought it incumbent on him to assume, he + entertained Pepper with all the particulars of the life he had lately + passed. He narrated to him his breach with Dame Lobkins, his agreement + with MacGrawler, the glory he had acquired, and the wrongs he had + sustained; and he concluded, as now the second bottle made its appearance, + by stating his desire of exchanging for some more active profession that + sedentary career which he had so promisingly begun. + </p> + <p> + This last part of Paul's confessions secretly delighted the soul of Long + Ned; for that experienced collector of the highways—Ned was, indeed, + of no less noble a profession—had long fixed an eye upon our hero, + as one whom he thought likely to be an honour to that enterprising calling + which he espoused, and an useful assistant to himself. He had not, in his + earlier acquaintance with Paul, when the youth was under the roof and the + surveillance of the practised and wary Mrs. Lobkins, deemed it prudent to + expose the exact nature of his own pursuits, and had contented himself by + gradually ripening the mind and the finances of Paul into that state when + the proposition of a leap from a hedge would not be likely greatly to + revolt the person to whom it was made. He now thought that time near at + hand; and filling our hero's glass up to the brim, thus artfully addressed + him:— + </p> + <p> + “Courage, my friend! Your narration has given me a sensible pleasure; for + curse me if it has not strengthened my favourite opinion,—that + everything is for the best. If it had not been for the meanness of that + pitiful fellow, MacGrawler, you might still be inspired with the paltry + ambition of earning a few shillings a week and vilifying a parcel of poor + devils in the what-d'ye-call it, with a hard name; whereas now, my good + Paul, I trust I shall be able to open to your genius a new career, in + which guineas are had for the asking,—in which you may wear fine + clothes, and ogle the ladies at Ranelagh; and when you are tired of glory + and liberty, Paul, why, you have only to make your bow to an heiress, or a + widow with a spanking jointure, and quit the hum of men like a + Cincinnatus!” + </p> + <p> + Though Paul's perception into the abstruser branches of morals was not + very acute,—and at that time the port wine had considerably confused + the few notions he possessed upon “the beauty of virtue,”—yet he + could not but perceive that Mr. Pepper's insinuated proposition was far + from being one which the bench of bishops or a synod of moralists would + conscientiously have approved. He consequently remained silent; and Long + Ned, after a pause, continued:— + </p> + <p> + “You know my genealogy, my good fellow? I was the son of Lawyer Pepper, a + shrewd old dog, but as hot as Calcutta; and the grandson of Sexton Pepper, + a great author, who wrote verses on tombstones, and kept a stall of + religious tracts in Carlisle. My grandfather, the sexton, was the best + temper of the family; for all of us are a little inclined to be hot in the + mouth. Well, my fine fellow, my father left me his blessing, and this + devilish good head of hair. I lived for some years on my own resources. I + found it a particularly inconvenient mode of life, and of late I have + taken to live on the public. My father and grandfather did it before me, + though in a different line. 'T is the pleasantest plan in the world. + Follow my example, and your coat shall be as spruce as my own. Master + Paul, your health!” + </p> + <p> + “But, O longest of mortals!” said Paul, refilling his glass, “though the + public may allow you to eat your mutton off their backs for a short time, + they will kick up at last, and upset you and your banquet; in other words + (pardon my metaphor, dear Ned, in remembrance of the part I have lately + maintained in 'The Asinaeum,' that most magnificent and metaphorical of + journals!),—in other words, the police will nab thee at last; and + thou wilt have the distinguished fate, as thou already hast the + distinguishing characteristic, of Absalom!” + </p> + <p> + “You mean that I shall be hanged,” said Long Ned, “that may or may not be; + but he who fears death never enjoys life. Consider, Paul, that though + hanging is a bad fate, starving is a worse; wherefore fill your glass, and + let us drink to the health of that great donkey, the people, and may we + never want saddles to ride it!” + </p> + <p> + “To the great donkey,” cried Paul, tossing off his bumper; “may your + (y)ears be as long! But I own to you, my friend, that I cannot enter into + your plans. And, as a token of my resolution, I shall drink no more, for + my eyes already begin to dance in the air; and if I listen longer to your + resistless eloquence, my feet may share the same fate!” + </p> + <p> + So saying, Paul rose; nor could any entreaty, on the part of his + entertainer, persuade him to resume his seat. + </p> + <p> + “Nay, as you will,” said Pepper, affecting a nonchalant tone, and + arranging his cravat before the glass,—“nay, as you will. Ned Pepper + requires no man's companionship against his liking; and if the noble spark + of ambition be not in your bosom, 't is no use spending my breath in + blowing at what only existed in my too flattering opinion of your + qualities. So then, you propose to return to MacGrawler (the scurvy old + cheat!), and pass the inglorious remainder of your life in the mangling of + authors and the murder of grammar? Go, my good fellow, go! scribble again + and forever for MacGrawler, and let him live upon thy brains instead of + suffering thy brains to—” + </p> + <p> + “Hold!” cried Paul. “Although I may have some scruples which prevent my + adoption of that rising line of life you have proposed to me, yet you are + very much mistaken if you imagine me so spiritless as any longer to + subject myself to the frauds of that rascal MacGrawler. No! My present + intention is to pay my old nurse a visit. It appears to me passing strange + that though I have left her so many weeks, she has never relented enough + to track me out, which one would think would have been no difficult + matter; and now, you see, that I am pretty well off, having five guineas + and four shillings all my own, and she can scarcely think I want her + money, my heart melts to her, and I shall go and ask pardon for my haste!” + </p> + <p> + “Pshaw! sentimental,” cried Long Ned, a little alarmed at the thought of + Paul's gliding from those clutches which he thought had now so firmly + closed upon him. “Why, you surely don't mean, after having once tasted the + joys of independence, to go back to the boozing-ken, and bear all Mother + Lobkins's drunken tantrums! Better have stayed with MacGrawler, of the + two!” + </p> + <p> + “You mistake me,” answered Paul; “I mean solely to make it up with her, + and get her permission to see the world. My ultimate intention is—to + travel.” + </p> + <p> + “Right,” cried Ned, “on the high-road,—and on horseback, I hope.” + </p> + <p> + “No, my Colossus of Roads! no. I am in doubt whether or not I shall enlist + in a marching regiment, or—Give me your advice on it! I fancy I have + a great turn for the stage, ever since I saw Garrick in 'Richard.' Shall I + turn stroller? It must be a merry life.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, the devil!” cried Ned. “I myself once did Cassio in a barn, and every + one swore I enacted the drunken scene to perfection; but you have no + notion what a lamentable life it is to a man of any susceptibility. No, my + friend, no! There is only one line in all the old plays worthy thy + attention,— + </p> + <p> + “'Toby [The highway] or not toby, that is the question.' + </p> + <p> + “I forget the rest!” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said our hero, answering in the same jocular vein, “I confess I + have 'the actor's high ambition.' It is astonishing how my heart beat when + Richard cried out, 'Come bustle, bustle!' Yes, Pepper, avaunt!— + </p> + <p> + “'A thousand hearts are great within my bosom.'” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well,” said Long Ned, stretching himself, “since you are so fond of + the play, what say you to an excursion thither to-night? Garrick acts.” + </p> + <p> + “Done!” cried Paul. + </p> + <p> + “Done!” echoed lazily Long Ned, rising with that blase air which + distinguishes the matured man of the world from the enthusiastic + tyro,-“done! and we will adjourn afterwards to the White Horse.” + </p> + <p> + “But stay a moment,” said Paul; “if you remember, I owed you a guinea when + I last saw you,—here it is!” + </p> + <p> + “Nonsense,” exclaimed Long Ned, refusing the money,—“nonsense! You + want the money at present; pay me when you are richer. Nay, never be coy + about it; debts of honour are not paid now as they used to be. We lads of + the Fish Lane Club have changed all that. Well, well, if I must!” + </p> + <p> + And Long Ned, seeing that Paul insisted, pocketed the guinea. When this + delicate matter had been arranged,—“Come,” said Pepper, “come, get + your hat; but, bless me! I have forgotten one thing.” + </p> + <p> + “What?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, my fine Paul, consider. The play is a bang-up sort of a place; look + at your coat and your waistcoat, that's all!” + </p> + <p> + Our hero was struck dumb with this argumentum ad hominem. But Long Ned, + after enjoying his perplexity, relieved him of it by telling him that he + knew of an honest tradesman who kept a ready-made shop just by the + theatre, and who could fit him out in a moment. + </p> + <p> + In fact, Long Ned was as good as his word; he carried Paul to a tailor, + who gave him for the sum of thirty shillings—half ready money, half + on credit-a green coat with a tarnished gold lace, a pair of red + inexpressibles, and a pepper-and-salt waistcoat. It is true, they were + somewhat of the largest, for they had once belonged to no less a person + than Long Ned himself; but Paul did not then regard those niceties of + apparel, as he was subsequently taught to do by Gentleman George (a + personage hereafter to be introduced to our reader), and he went to the + theatre as well satisfied with himself as if he had been Mr. T—— + or the Count de ——. + </p> + <p> + Our adventurers are now quietly seated in the theatre; and we shall not + think it necessary to detail the performances they saw, or the + observations they made. Long Ned was one of those superior beings of the + road who would not for the world have condescended to appear anywhere but + in the boxes; and, accordingly, the friends procured a couple of places in + the dress-tier. In the next box to the one our adventurers adorned they + remarked, more especially than the rest of the audience, a gentleman and a + young lady seated next each other; the latter, who was about thirteen + years old, was so uncommonly beautiful that Paul, despite his dramatic + enthusiasm, could scarcely divert his eyes from her countenance to the + stage. Her hair, of a bright and fair auburn, hung in profuse ringlets + about her neck, shedding a softer shade upon a complexion in which the + roses seemed just budding as it were into blush. Her eyes, large, blue, + and rather languishing than brilliant, were curtained by the darkest + lashes; her mouth seemed literally girt with smiles, so numberless were + the dimples that every time the full, ripe, dewy lips were parted rose + into sight; and the enchantment of the dimples was aided by two rows of + teeth more dazzling than the richest pearls that ever glittered on a + bride. But the chief charm of the face was its exceeding and touching air + of innocence and girlish softness; you might have gazed forever upon that + first unspeakable bloom, that all untouched and stainless down, which + seemed as if a very breath could mar it. Perhaps the face might have + wanted animation; but perhaps, also, it borrowed from that want an + attraction. The repose of the features was so soft and gentle that the eye + wandered there with the same delight, and left it with the same + reluctance, which it experiences in dwelling on or in quitting those hues + which are found to harmonize the most with its vision. But while Paul was + feeding his gaze on this young beauty, the keen glances of Long Ned had + found an object no less fascinating in a large gold watch which the + gentleman who accompanied the damsel ever and anon brought to his eye, as + if he were waxing a little weary of the length of the pieces or the + lingering progression of time. + </p> + <p> + “What a beautiful face!” whispered Paul. + </p> + <p> + “Is the face gold, then, as well as the back?” whispered Long Ned, in + return. + </p> + <p> + Our hero started, frowned, and despite the gigantic stature of his + comrade, told him, very angrily, to find some other subject for jesting. + Ned in his turn stared, but made no reply. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile Paul, though the lady was rather too young to fall in love with, + began wondering what relationship her companion bore to her. Though the + gentleman altogether was handsome, yet his features and the whole + character of his face were widely different from those on which Paul gazed + with such delight. He was not, seemingly, above five-and-forty, but his + forehead was knit into many a line and furrow; and in his eyes the light, + though searching, was more sober and staid than became his years. A + disagreeable expression played about the mouth; and the shape of the face, + which was long and thin, considerably detracted from the prepossessing + effect of a handsome aquiline nose, fine teeth, and a dark, manly, though + sallow complexion. There was a mingled air of shrewdness and distraction + in the expression of his face. He seemed to pay very little attention to + the play, or to anything about him; but he testified very considerable + alacrity, when the play was over, in putting her cloak around his young + companion, and in threading their way through the thick crowd that the + boxes were now pouring forth. + </p> + <p> + Paul and his companion silently, and each with very different motives from + the other, followed them. They were now at the door of the theatre. + </p> + <p> + A servant stepped forward and informed the gentleman that his carriage was + a few paces distant, but that it might be some time before it could drive + up to the theatre. + </p> + <p> + “Can you walk to the carriage, my dear?” said the gentleman to his young + charge; and she answering in the affirmative, they both left the house, + preceded by the servant. + </p> + <p> + “Come on!” said Long Ned, hastily, and walking in the same direction which + the strangers had taken. Paul readily agreed. They soon overtook the + strangers. Long Ned walked the nearest to the gentleman, and brushed by + him in passing. Presently a voice cried, “Stop thief!” and Long Ned, + saying to Paul, “Shift for yourself, run!” darted from our hero's side + into the crowd, and vanished in a twinkling. Before Paul could recover his + amaze, he found himself suddenly seized by the collar; he turned abruptly, + and saw the dark face of the young lady's companion. + </p> + <p> + “Rascal!” cried the gentleman, “my watch!” + </p> + <p> + “Watch!” repeated Paul, bewildered, and only for the sake of the young + lady refraining from knocking down his arrester,—“watch!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, young man!” cried a fellow in a great-coat, who now suddenly appeared + on the other side of Paul; “this gentleman's watch. Please your honour,” + addressing the complainant, “I be a watch too; shall I take up this chap?” + </p> + <p> + “By all means,” cried the gentleman; “I would not have lost my watch for + twice its value. I can swear I saw this fellow's companion snatch it from + my fob. The thief's gone; but we have at least the accomplice. I give him + in strict charge to you, watchman; take the consequences if you let him + escape.” The watchman answered, sullenly, that he did not want to be + threatened, and he knew how to discharge his duty. + </p> + <p> + “Don't answer me, fellow!” said the gentleman, haughtily; “do as I tell + you!” And after a little colloquy, Paul found himself suddenly marched off + between two tall fellows, who looked prodigiously inclined to eat him. By + this time he had recovered his surprise and dismay. He did not want the + penetration to see that his companion had really committed the offence for + which he was charged; and he also foresaw that the circumstance might be + attended with disagreeable consequences to himself. Under all the features + of the case, he thought that an attempt to escape would not be an + imprudent proceeding on his part; accordingly, after moving a few paces + very quietly and very passively, he watched his opportunity, wrenched + himself from the gripe of the gentleman on his left, and brought the hand + thus released against the cheek of the gentleman on his right with so + hearty a good will as to cause him to relinquish his hold, and retreat + several paces towards the areas in a slanting position. But that + roundabout sort of blow with the left fist is very unfavourable towards + the preservation of a firm balance; and before Paul had recovered + sufficiently to make an effectual bolt, he was prostrated to the earth by + a blow from the other and undamaged watchman, which utterly deprived him + of his senses; and when he recovered those useful possessions (which a man + may reasonably boast of losing, since it is only the minority who have + them to lose), he found himself stretched on a bench in the watchhouse. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Begirt with many a gallant slave, + Apparelled as becomes the brave, + Old Giaffir sat in his divan: + . . . . . . . + Much I misdoubt this wayward boy + Will one day work me more annoy. + Bride of Abydos. +</pre> + <p> + The learned and ingenious John Schweighaeuser (a name facile to spell and + mellifluous to pronounce) hath been pleased, in that Appendix continens + particulam doctrinae de mente humana, which closeth the volume of his + “Opuscula Academica,” to observe (we translate from memory) that, “in the + infinite variety of things which in the theatre of the world occur to a + man's survey, or in some manner or another affect his body or his mind, by + far the greater part are so contrived as to bring to him rather some sense + of pleasure than of pain or discomfort.” Assuming that this holds + generally good in well-constituted frames, we point out a notable example + in the case of the incarcerated Paul; for although that youth was in no + agreeable situation at the time present, and although nothing very + encouraging smiled upon him from the prospects of the future, yet, as soon + as he had recovered his consciousness, and given himself a rousing shake, + he found an immediate source of pleasure in discovering, first, that + several ladies and gentlemen bore him company in his imprisonment; and, + secondly, in perceiving a huge jug of water within his reach, which, as + his awaking sensation was that of burning thirst, he delightedly emptied + at a draught. He then, stretching himself, looked around with a wistful + earnestness, and discovered a back turned towards him, and recumbent on + the floor, which at the very first glance appeared to him familiar. + “Surely,” thought he, “I know that frieze coat, and the peculiar turn of + those narrow shoulders.” Thus soliloquizing, he raised himself, and + putting out his leg, he gently kicked the reclining form. “Muttering + strange oaths,” the form turned round, and raising itself upon that + inhospitable part of the body in which the introduction of foreign feet is + considered anything but an honour, it fixed its dull blue eyes upon the + face of the disturber of its slumbers, gradually opening them wider and + wider, until they seemed to have enlarged themselves into proportions fit + for the swallowing of the important truth that burst upon them, and then + from the mouth of the creature issued,— + </p> + <p> + “Queer my glims, if that be n't little Paul!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, Dummie, here I am! Not been long without being laid by the heels, you + see! Life is short; we must make the best use of our time!” + </p> + <p> + Upon this, Mr. Dunnaker (it was no less respectable a person) scrambled up + from the floor, and seating himself on the bench beside Paul, said in a + pitying tone,— + </p> + <p> + “Vy, laus-a-me! if you be n't knocked o' the head! Your poll's as bloody + as 'Murphy's face ven his throat's cut!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [“Murphy's face,"unlearned reader, appeareth, in Irish phrase, + to mean “pig's head.”] +</pre> + <p> + “'T is only the fortune of war, Dummie, and a mere trifle; the heads + manufactured at Thames Court are not easily put out of order. But tell me, + how come you here?” + </p> + <p> + “Vy, I had been lushing heavy vet—” + </p> + <p> + “'Till you grew light in the head, eh,—and fell into the kennel?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + “Mine is a worse business than that, I fear;” and therewith Paul, in a + lower voice, related to the trusty Dummie the train of accidents which had + conducted him to his present asylum. Dummie's face elongated as he + listened; however, when the narrative was over, he endeavoured such + consolatory palliatives as occurred to him. He represented, first, the + possibility that the gentleman might not take the trouble to appear; + secondly, the certainty that no watch was found about Paul's person; + thirdly, the fact that, even by the gentleman's confession, Paul had not + been the actual offender; fourthly, if the worst came to the worst, what + were a few weeks' or even months' imprisonment? + </p> + <p> + “Blow me tight!” said Dummie, “if it be n't as good a vay of passing the + time as a cove as is fond of snuggery need desire!” + </p> + <p> + This observation had no comfort for Paul, who recoiled, with all the + maiden coyness of one to whom such unions are unfamiliar, from a + matrimonial alliance with the snuggery of the House of Correction. He + rather trusted to another source for consolation. In a word, he encouraged + the flattering belief that Long Ned, finding that Paul had been caught + instead of himself, would have the generosity to come forward and + exculpate him from the charge. On hinting this idea to Dummie, that + accomplished “man about town” could not for some time believe that any + simpleton could be so thoroughly unacquainted with the world as seriously + to entertain so ridiculous a notion; and, indeed, it is somewhat + remarkable that such a hope should ever have told its flattering tale to + one brought up in the house of Mrs. Margaret Lobkins. But Paul, we have + seen, had formed many of his notions from books; and he had the same fine + theories of your “moral rogue” that possess the minds of young patriots + when they first leave college for the House of Commons, and think + integrity a prettier thing than office. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Dunnaker urged Paul, seriously, to dismiss so vague and childish a + fancy from his breast, and rather to think of what line of defence it + would be best for him to pursue. This subject being at length exhausted, + Paul recurred to Mrs. Lobkins, and inquired whether Dummie had lately + honoured that lady with a visit. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Dunnaker replied that he had, though with much difficulty, appeased + her anger against him for his supposed abetment of Paul's excesses, and + that of late she had held sundry conversations with Dummie respecting our + hero himself. Upon questioning Dummie further, Paul learned the good + matron's reasons for not evincing that solicitude for his return which our + hero had reasonably anticipated. The fact was, that she, having no + confidence whatsoever in his own resources independent of her, had not + been sorry of an opportunity effectually, as she hoped, to humble that + pride which had so revolted her; and she pleased her vanity by + anticipating the time when Paul, starved into submission, would gladly and + penitently re-seek the shelter of her roof, and, tamed as it were by + experience, would never again kick against the yoke which her matronly + prudence thought it fitting to impose upon him. She contented herself, + then, with obtaining from Dummie the intelligence that our hero was under + MacGrawler's roof, and therefore out of all positive danger to life and + limb; and as she could not foresee the ingenious exertions of intellect by + which Paul had converted himself into the “Nobilitas” of “The Asinaeum,” + and thereby saved himself from utter penury, she was perfectly convinced, + from her knowledge of character, that the illustrious MacGrawler would not + long continue that protection to the rebellious protege which in her + opinion was his only preservative from picking pockets or famishing. To + the former decent alternative she knew Paul's great and jejune aversion; + and she consequently had little fear for his morals or his safety, in thus + abandoning him for a while to chance. Any anxiety, too, that she might + otherwise have keenly experienced was deadened by the habitual + intoxication now increasing upon the good lady with age, and which, though + at times she could be excited to all her characteristic vehemence, kept + her senses for the most part plunged into a Lethean stupor, or, to speak + more courteously, into a poetical abstraction from the things of the + external world. + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Dummie, as by degrees he imparted the solution of the dame's + conduct to the listening ear of his companion,—“but I hopes as how + ven you be out of this 'ere scrape, leetle Paul, you vill take varning, + and drop Meester Pepper's acquaintance (vich, I must say, I vas alvays a + sorry to see you hencourage), and go home to the Mug, and fam grasp the + old mort, for she has not been like the same cretur ever since you vent. + She's a delicate-'arted 'oman, that Piggy Lob!” + </p> + <p> + So appropriate a panegyric on Mrs. Margaret Lobkins might at another time + have excited Paul's risible muscles; but at that moment he really felt + compunction for the unceremonious manner in which he had left her, and the + softness of regretful affection imbued in its hallowing colours even the + image of Piggy Lob. + </p> + <p> + In conversation of this intellectual and domestic description, the night + and ensuing morning passed away, till Paul found himself in the awful + presence of Justice Burnflat. Several cases were disposed of before his + own; and among others Mr. Duminie Dunnaker obtained his release, though + not without a severe reprimand for his sin of inebriety, which no doubt + sensibly affected the ingenuous spirit of that noble character. At length + Paul's turn came. He heard, as he took his station, a general buzz. At + first he imagined it was at his own interesting appearance; but raising + his eyes, he perceived that it was at the entrance of the gentleman who + was to become his accuser. + </p> + <p> + “Hush,” said some one near him, “'t is Lawyer Brandon. Ah, he's a 'cute + fellow! it will go hard with the person he complains of.” + </p> + <p> + There was a happy fund of elasticity of spirit about our hero; and though + he had not the good fortune to have “a blighted heart,”—a + circumstance which, by the poets and philosophers of the present day, is + supposed to inspire a man with wonderful courage, and make him impervious + to all misfortunes,—yet he bore himself up with wonderful courage + under his present trying situation, and was far from overwhelmed, though + he was certainly a little damped, by the observation he had just heard. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Brandon was, indeed, a barrister of considerable reputation, and in + high esteem in the world, not only for talent, but also for a great + austerity of manners, which, though a little mingled with sternness and + acerbity for the errors of other men, was naturally thought the more + praiseworthy on that account; there being, as persons of experience are + doubtless aware, two divisions in the first class of morality,—imprimis, + a great hatred for the vices of one's neighbour; secondly, the possession + of virtues in one's self. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Brandon was received with great courtesy by Justice Burnflat; and as + he came, watch in hand (a borrowed watch), saying that his time was worth + five guineas a moment, the justice proceeded immediately to business. + </p> + <p> + Nothing could be clearer, shorter, or more satisfactory than the evidence + of Mr. Brandon. The corroborative testimony of the watchman followed; and + then Paul was called upon for his defence. This was equally brief with the + charge; but, alas! it was not equally satisfactory. It consisted in a firm + declaration of his innocence. His comrade, he confessed, might have stolen + the watch; but he humbly suggested that that was exactly the very reason + why he had not stolen it. + </p> + <p> + “How long, fellow,” asked Justice Burnflat, “have you known your + companion?” + </p> + <p> + “About half a year.” + </p> + <p> + “And what is his name and calling?” Paul hesitated, and declined to + answer. + </p> + <p> + “A sad piece of business!” said the justice, in a melancholy tone, and + shaking his head portentously. + </p> + <p> + The lawyer acquiesced in the aphorism, but with great magnanimity observed + that he did not wish to be hard upon the young man. His youth was in his + favour, and his offence was probably the consequence of evil company. He + suggested, therefore, that as he must be perfectly aware of the address of + his friend, he should receive a full pardon if he would immediately favour + the magistrate with that information. He concluded by remarking, with + singular philanthropy, that it was not the punishment of the youth, but + the recovery of his watch, that he desired. + </p> + <p> + Justice Burnflat, having duly impressed upon our hero's mind the + disinterested and Christian mercy of the complainant, and the everlasting + obligation Paul was under to him for its display, now repeated, with + double solemnity, those queries respecting the habitation and name of Long + Ned which our hero had before declined to answer. + </p> + <p> + Grieved are we to confess that Paul, ungrateful for and wholly untouched + by the beautiful benignity of Lawyer Brandon, continued firm in his + stubborn denial to betray his comrade; and with equal obduracy he + continued to insist upon his own innocence and unblemished respectability + of character. + </p> + <p> + “Your name, young man?” quoth the justice. “Your name, you say, is Paul,—Paul + what? You have many an alias, I'll be bound.” + </p> + <p> + Here the young gentleman again hesitated; at length he replied,— + </p> + <p> + “Paul Lobkins, your worship.” + </p> + <p> + “Lobkins!” repeated the judge,—“Lobkins! Come hither, Saunders; have + not we that name down in our black books?” + </p> + <p> + “So, please your worship,” quoth a little stout man, very useful in many + respects to the Festus of the police, “there is one Peggy Lobkins, who + keeps a public-house, a sort of flash ken, called the Mug, in Thames + Court,—not exactly in our beat, your worship.” + </p> + <p> + “Ho, ho!” said Justice Burnflat; winking at Mr. Brandon, “we must sift + this a little. Pray, Mr. Paul Lobkins, what relation is the good landlady + of the Mug, in Thames Court, to yourself?” + </p> + <p> + “None at all, sir,” said Paul, hastily; “she's only a friend!” + </p> + <p> + Upon this there was a laugh in the court. + </p> + <p> + “Silence!” cried the justice. “And I dare say, Mr. Paul Lobkins, that this + friend of yours will vouch for the respectability of your character, upon + which you are pleased to value yourself?” + </p> + <p> + “I have not a doubt of it, sir,” answered Paul; and there was another + laugh. + </p> + <p> + “And is there any other equally weighty and praiseworthy friend of yours + who will do you the like kindness?” + </p> + <p> + Paul hesitated; and at that moment, to the surprise of the court, but + above all to the utter and astounding surprise of himself, two gentlemen, + dressed in the height of the fashion, pushed forward, and bowing to the + justice, declared themselves ready to vouch for the thorough + respectability and unimpeachable character of Mr. Paul Lobkins, whom they + had known, they said, for many years, and for whom they had the greatest + respect. While Paul was surveying the persons of these kind friends, whom + he never remembered to have seen before in the course of his life, the + lawyer, who was a very sharp fellow, whispered to the magistrate; and that + dignitary nodding as in assent, and eying the new-comers, inquired the + names of Mr. Lobkins's witnesses. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Eustace Fitzherbert” and “Mr. William Howard Russell,” were the + several replies. + </p> + <p> + Names so aristocratic produced a general sensation. But the impenetrable + justice, calling the same Mr. Saunders he had addressed before, asked him + to examine well the countenances of Mr. Lobkins's friends. + </p> + <p> + As the alguazil eyed the features of the memorable Don Raphael and the + illustrious Manuel Morales, when the former of those accomplished + personages thought it convenient to assume the travelling dignity of an + Italian prince, son of the sovereign of the valleys which lie between + Switzerland, the Milanese, and Savoy, while the latter was contented with + being servant to Monseigneur le Prince; even so, with far more earnestness + than respect; did Mr. Saunders eye the features of those high-born + gentlemen, Messrs. Eustace Fitzherbert and William Howard Russell; but + after a long survey he withdrew his eyes, made an unsatisfactory and + unrecognizing gesture to the magistrate, and said,— + </p> + <p> + “Please your worship, they are none of my flock; but Bill Troutling knows + more of this sort of genteel chaps than I does.” + </p> + <p> + “Bid Bill Troutling appear!” was the laconic order. + </p> + <p> + At that name a certain modest confusion might have been visible in the + faces of Mr. Eustace Fitzherbert and Mr. William Howard Russell, had not + the attention of the court been immediately directed to another case. A + poor woman had been committed for seven days to the House of Correction on + a charge of disrespectability. Her husband, the person most interested in + the matter, now came forward to disprove the charge; and by help of his + neighbours he succeeded. + </p> + <p> + “It is all very true,” said Justice Burnflat; “but as your wife, my good + fellow, will be out in five days, it will be scarcely worth while to + release her now.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [A fact, occurring in the month of January, 1830. Vide + “The Morning Herald.”] +</pre> + <p> + So judicious a decision could not fail of satisfying the husband; and the + audience became from that moment enlightened as to a very remarkable + truth,—namely, that five days out of seven bear a peculiarly small + proportion to the remaining two; and that people in England have so + prodigious a love for punishment that though it is not worth while to + release an innocent woman from prison five days sooner than one would + otherwise have done, it is exceedingly well worth while to commit her to + prison for seven! + </p> + <p> + When the husband, passing his rough hand across his eyes, and muttering + some vulgar impertinence or another had withdrawn, Mr. Saunders said,— + </p> + <p> + “Here be Bill Troutling, your worship!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, well,” quoth the justice; “and now, Mr. Eustace Fitz—— + Hallo, how's this! Where are Mr. William Howard Russell and his friend Mr. + Eustace Fitzherbert?” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Echo answered,—where?” + </pre> + <p> + Those noble gentlemen, having a natural dislike to be confronted with so + low a person as Mr. Bill Troutling, had, the instant public interest was + directed from them, silently disappeared from a scene where their rank in + life seemed so little regarded. If, reader, you should be anxious to learn + from what part of the world the transitory visitants appeared, know that + they were spirits sent by that inimitable magician, Long Ned, partly to + report how matters fared in the court; for Mr. Pepper, in pursuance of + that old policy which teaches that the nearer the fox is to the hunters, + the more chance he has of being overlooked, had, immediately on his abrupt + departure from Paul, dived into a house in the very street where his + ingenuity had displayed itself, and in which oysters and ale nightly + allured and regaled an assembly that, to speak impartially, was more + numerous than select. There had he learned how a pickpocket had been + seized for unlawful affection to another man's watch; and there, while he + quietly seasoned his oysters, had he, with his characteristic acuteness, + satisfied his mind by the conviction that that arrested unfortunate was no + other than Paul. Partly, therefore, as a precaution for his own safety, + that he might receive early intelligence should Paul's defence make a + change of residence expedient, and partly (out of the friendliness of + fellowship) to back his companion with such aid as the favourable + testimony of two well-dressed persons, little known “about town,” might + confer, he had despatched those celestial beings who had appeared under + the mortal names of Eustace Fitzherbert and William Howard Russell to the + imperial court of Justice Burnflat. Having thus accounted for the + apparition (the disapparition requires no commentary) of Paul's “friends,” + we return to Paul himself. + </p> + <p> + Despite the perils with which he was girt, our young hero fought out to + the last; but the justice was not by any means willing to displease Mr. + Brandon, and observing that an incredulous and biting sneer remained + stationary on that gentleman's lip during the whole of Paul's defence, he + could not but shape his decision according to the well-known acuteness of + the celebrated lawyer. Paul was sentenced to retire for three months to + that country-house situated at Bridewell, to which the ungrateful + functionaries of justice often banish their most active citizens. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the sentence was passed, Brandon, whose keen eyes saw no hope + of recovering his lost treasure, declared that the rascal had perfectly + the Old Bailey cut of countenance, and that he did not doubt but, if ever + he lived to be a judge, he should also live to pass a very different + description of sentence on the offender. + </p> + <p> + So saying, he resolved to lose no more time, and very abruptly left the + office, without any other comfort than the remembrance that, at all + events, he had sent the boy to a place where, let him be ever so innocent + at present, he was certain to come out as much inclined to be guilty as + his friends could desire; joined to such moral reflection as the tragedy + of Bombastes Furioso might have afforded to himself in that sententious + and terse line,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Thy watch is gone,—watches are made to go.” + </pre> + <p> + Meanwhile Paul was conducted in state to his retreat, in company with two + other offenders,—one a middle-aged man, though a very old “file,” + who was sentenced for getting money under false pretences, and the other a + little boy who had been found guilty of sleeping under a colonnade; it + being the especial beauty of the English law to make no fine-drawn and + nonsensical shades of difference between vice and misfortune, and its + peculiar method of protecting the honest being to make as many rogues as + possible in as short a space of time. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII. + </h2> + <p> + Common Sense. What is the end of punishment as regards the individual + punished? + </p> + <p> + Custom. To make him better! + </p> + <p> + Common Sense. How do you punish young offenders who are (from their youth) + peculiarly alive to example, and whom it is therefore more easy either to + ruin or reform than the matured? + </p> + <p> + Custom. We send them to the House of Correction, to associate with the d—dest + rascals in the country! + </p> + <p> + Dialogue between Common Sense and Custom.—Very scarce. + </p> + <p> + As it was rather late in the day when Paul made his first entree at + Bridewell, he passed that night in the “receiving-room.” The next morning, + as soon as he had been examined by the surgeon and clothed in the + customary uniform, he was ushered, according to his classification, among + the good company who had been considered guilty of that compendious + offence, “a misdemeanour.” Here a tall gentleman marched up to him, and + addressed him in a certain language, which might be called the freemasonry + of flash, and which Paul, though he did not comprehend verbatim, rightly + understood to be an inquiry whether he was a thorough rogue and an entire + rascal. He answered half in confusion, half in anger; and his reply was so + detrimental to any favourable influence he might otherwise have exercised + over the interrogator, that the latter personage, giving him a pinch in + the ear, shouted out, “Ramp, ramp!” and at that significant and awful + word, Paul found himself surrounded in a trice by a whole host of + ingenious tormentors. One pulled this member, another pinched that; one + cuffed him before, and another thrashed him behind. By way of interlude to + this pleasing occupation, they stripped him of the very few things that in + his change of dress he had retained. One carried off his handkerchief, a + second his neckcloth, and a third, luckier than either, possessed himself + of a pair of carnelian shirt-buttons, given to Paul as a gage d'amour by a + young lady who sold oranges near the Tower. Happily, before this + initiatory process—technically termed “ramping,” and exercised upon + all new-comers who seem to have a spark of decency in them—had + reduced the bones of Paul, who fought tooth and nail in his defence, to + the state of magnesia, a man of a grave aspect, who had hitherto plucked + his oakum in quiet, suddenly rose, thrust himself between the victim and + the assailants, and desired the latter, like one having authority, to + leave the lad alone, and go and be d—d. + </p> + <p> + This proposal to resort to another place for amusement, though uttered in + a very grave and tranquil manner, produced that instantaneous effect which + admonitions from great rogues generally work upon little. Messieurs the + ravmpers ceased from their amusements; and the ringleader of the gang, + thumping Paul heartily on the back, declared he was a capital fellow, and + it was only a bit of a spree like, which he hoped had not given any + offence. + </p> + <p> + Paul, still clenching his fist, was about to answer in no pacific mood, + when a turnkey, who did not care in the least how many men he locked up + for an offence, but who did not at all like the trouble of looking after + any one of his flock to see that the offence was not committed, now + suddenly appeared among the set; and after scolding them for the excessive + plague they were to him, carried off two of the poorest of the mob to + solitary confinement. It happened, of course, that these two had not taken + the smallest share in the disturbance. This scene over, the company + returned to picking oakum; the tread-mill, that admirably just invention + by which a strong man suffers no fatigue and a weak one loses his health + for life, not having been then introduced into our excellent + establishments for correcting crime. Bitterly and with many dark and + wrathful feelings, in which the sense of injustice at punishment alone + bore him up against the humiliations to which he was subjected,—bitterly + and with a swelling heart, in which the thoughts that lead to crime were + already forcing their way through a soil suddenly warmed for their growth, + did Paul bend over his employment. He felt himself touched on the arm; he + turned, and saw that the gentleman who had so kindly delivered him from + his tormentors was now sitting next to him. Paul gazed long and earnestly + upon his neighbour, struggling with the thought that he had beheld that + sagacious countenance in happier times, although now, alas! it was altered + not only by time and vicissitudes but by that air of gravity which the + cares of manhood spread gradually over the face of the most thoughtless,—until + all doubt melted away, and he exclaimed,— + </p> + <p> + “Is that you, Mr. Tomlinson? How glad I am to see you here!” + </p> + <p> + “And I,” returned the quondam murderer for the newspapers, with a nasal + twang, “should be very glad to see myself anywhere else.” + </p> + <p> + Paul made no answer; and Augustus continued,— + </p> + <p> + “'To a wise man all places are the same,'—so it has been said. I + don't believe it, Paul,—I don't believe it. But a truce to + reflection! I remembered you the moment I saw you, though you are + surprisingly grown. How is my friend MacGrawler?—still hard at work + for 'The Asinaeum'?” + </p> + <p> + “I believe so,” said Paul, sullenly, and hastening to change the + conversation; “but tell me, Mr. Tomlinson, how came you hither? I heard + you had gone down to the North of England to fulfil a lucrative + employment.” + </p> + <p> + “Possibly! The world always misrepresents the actions of those who are + constantly before it.” + </p> + <p> + “It is very true,” said Paul; “and I have said the same thing myself a + hundred times in 'The Asinaeum,' for we were never too lavish of our + truths in that magnificent journal. 'T is astonishing what a way we made + three ideas go.” + </p> + <p> + “You remind me of myself and my newspaper labours,” rejoined Augustus + Tomlinson. “I am not quite sure that I had so many as three ideas to + spare; for, as you say, it is astonishing how far that number may go, + properly managed. It is with writers as with strolling players,—the + same three ideas that did for Turks in one scene do for Highlanders in the + next; but you must tell me your history one of these days, and you shall + hear mine.” + </p> + <p> + “I should be excessively obliged to you for your confidence,” said Paul, + “and I doubt not but your life must be excessively entertaining. Mine, as + yet, has been but insipid. The lives of literary men are not fraught with + adventure; and I question whether every writer in 'The Asinaeum' has not + led pretty nearly the same existence as that which I have sustained + myself.” + </p> + <p> + In conversation of this sort our newly restored friends passed the + remainder of the day, until the hour of half-past four, when the prisoners + are to suppose night has begun, and be locked up in their bedrooms. + Tomlinson then, who was glad to re-find a person who had known him in his + beaux jours, spoke privately to the turnkey; and the result of the + conversation was the coupling Paul and Augustus in the same chamber, which + was a sort of stone box, that generally accommodated three, and was—for + we have measured it, as we would have measured the cell of the prisoner of + Chillon—just eight feet by six. + </p> + <p> + We do not intend, reader, to indicate, by broad colours and in long + detail, the moral deterioration of our hero; because we have found, by + experience, that such pains on our part do little more than make thee + blame our stupidity instead of lauding our intention. We shall therefore + only work out our moral by subtle hints and brief comments; and we shall + now content ourselves with reminding thee that hitherto thou hast seen + Paul honest in the teeth of circumstances. Despite the contagion of the + Mug, despite his associates in Fish Lane, despite his intimacy with Long + Ned, thou hast seen him brave temptation, and look forward to some other + career than that of robbery or fraud. Nay, even in his destitution, when + driven from the abode of his childhood, thou hast observed how, instead of + resorting to some more pleasurable or libertine road of life, he betook + himself at once to the dull roof and insipid employments of MacGrawler, + and preferred honestly earning his subsistence by the sweat of his brain + to recurring to any of the numerous ways of living on others with which + his experience among the worst part of society must have teemed, and + which, to say the least of them, are more alluring to the young and the + adventurous than the barren paths of literary labour. Indeed, to let thee + into a secret, it had been Paul's daring ambition to raise himself into a + worthy member of the community. His present circumstances, it may + hereafter be seen, made the cause of a great change in his desires; and + the conversation he held that night with the ingenious and skilful + Augustus went more towards fitting him for the hero of this work than all + the habits of his childhood or the scenes of his earlier youth. Young + people are apt, erroneously, to believe that it is a bad thing to be + exceedingly wicked. The House of Correction is so called, because it is a + place where so ridiculous a notion is invariably corrected. The next day + Paul was surprised by a visit from Mrs. Lobkins, who had heard of his + situation and its causes from the friendly Dummie, and who had managed to + obtain from Justice Burnflat an order of admission. They met, Pyramus and + Thisbe like, with a wall, or rather an iron gate, between them; and Mrs. + Lobkins, after an ejaculation of despair at the obstacle, burst weepingly + into the pathetic reproach,— + </p> + <p> + “O Paul, thou hast brought thy pigs to a fine market!” + </p> + <p> + “'T is a market proper for pigs, dear dame,” said Paul, who, though with a + tear in his eye, did not refuse a joke as bitter as it was inelegant; + “for, of all others, it is the spot where a man learns to take care of his + bacon.” + </p> + <p> + “Hold your tongue!” cried the dame, angrily. “What business has you to + gabble on so while you are in limbo?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, dear dame,” said Paul, “we can't help these rubs and stumbles on our + road to preferment!” + </p> + <p> + “Road to the scragging-post!” cried the dame. “I tells you, child, you'll + live to be hanged in spite of all my care and 'tention to you, though I + hedicated you as a scholard, and always hoped as how you would grow up to + be an honour to your—” + </p> + <p> + “King and country,” interrupted Paul. “We always say, honour to king and + country, which means getting rich and paying taxes. 'The more taxes a man + pays, the greater honour he is to both,' as Augustus says. Well, dear + dame, all in good time.” + </p> + <p> + “What! you is merry, is you? Why does not you weep? Your heart is as hard + as a brickbat. It looks quite unnatural and hyena-like to be so + devil-me-careish!” So saying, the good dame's tears gushed forth with the + bitterness of a despairing Parisina. + </p> + <p> + “Nay, nay,” said Paul, who, though he suffered far more intensely, bore + the suffering far more easily than his patroness, “we cannot mend the + matter by crying. Suppose you see what can be done for me. I dare say you + may manage to soften the justice's sentence by a little 'oil of palms;' + and if you can get me out before I am quite corrupted,—a day or two + longer in this infernal place will do the business,—I promise you + that I will not only live honestly myself, but with people who live in the + same manner.” + </p> + <p> + “Buss me, Paul,” said the tender Mrs. Lobkins, “buss me—Oh! but I + forgits the gate. I'll see what can be done. And here, my lad, here's + summat for you in the mean while,—a drop o' the cretur, to preach + comfort to your poor stomach. Hush! smuggle it through, or they'll see + you.” + </p> + <p> + Here the dame endeavoured to push a stone bottle through the bars of the + gate; but, alas! though the neck passed through, the body refused, and the + dame was forced to retract the “cretur.” Upon this, the kind-hearted woman + renewed her sobbings; and so absorbed was she in her grief that seemingly + quite forgetting for what purpose she had brought the bottle, she applied + it to her own mouth, and consoled herself with that elixir vitae which she + had originally designed for Paul. + </p> + <p> + This somewhat restored her; and after a most affecting scene the dame + reeled off with the vacillating steps natural to woe, promising, as she + went, that if love or money could shorten Paul's confinement, neither + should be wanting. We are rather at a loss to conjecture the exact + influence which the former of these arguments, urged by the lovely + Margaret, might have had upon Justice Burnflat. + </p> + <p> + When the good dame had departed, Paul hastened to repick his oakum and + rejoin his friend. He found the worthy Augustus privately selling little + elegant luxuries, such as tobacco, gin, and rations of daintier viands + than the prison allowed; for Augustus, having more money than the rest of + his companions, managed, through the friendship of the turnkey, to + purchase secretly, and to resell at about four hundred per cent, such + comforts as the prisoners especially coveted. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [A very common practice at the Bridewell. The Governor at the + Coldbath-Fields, apparently a very intelligent and active man, every + way fitted for a most arduous undertaking, informed us, in the only + conversation we have had the honour to hold with him, that he + thought he had nearly or quite destroyed in his jurisdiction this + illegal method of commerce.] +</pre> + <p> + “A proof,” said Augustus, dryly, to Paul, “that by prudence and exertion + even in those places where a man cannot turn himself he may manage to turn + a penny.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Relate at large, my godlike guest,” she said, + “The Grecian stratagems,—the town betrayed!” + DRYDEN: Virgil, AEneid, book ii. + + Descending thence, they 'scaped!—Ibid. +</pre> + <p> + A great improvement had taken place in the character of Augustus Tomlinson + since Paul had last encountered that illustrious man. Then Augustus had + affected the man of pleasure, the learned lounger about town, the + all-accomplished Pericles of the papers, gayly quoting Horace, gravely + flanking a fly from the leader of Lord Dunshunner. Now a more serious yet + not a less supercilious air had settled upon his features; the pretence of + fashion had given way to the pretence of wisdom; and from the man of + pleasure Augustus Tomlinson had grown to the philosopher. With this + elevation alone, too, he was not content: he united the philosopher with + the politician; and the ingenious rascal was pleased especially to pique + himself upon being “a moderate Whig”! + </p> + <p> + “Paul,” he was wont to observe, “believe me, moderate Whiggism is a most + excellent creed. It adapts itself to every possible change, to every + conceivable variety of circumstance. It is the only politics for us who + are the aristocrats of that free body who rebel against tyrannical laws; + for, hang it, I am none of your democrats. Let there be dungeons and + turnkeys for the low rascals who whip clothes from the hedge where they + hang to dry, or steal down an area in quest of a silver spoon; but houses + of correction are not made for men who have received an enlightened + education,—who abhor your petty thefts as much as a justice of + peace. can do,—who ought never to be termed dishonest in their + dealings, but, if they are found out, 'unlucky in their speculations'! A + pretty thing, indeed, that there should be distinctions of rank among + other members of the community, and none among us! Where's your boasted + British Constitution, I should like to know, where are your privileges of + aristocracy, if I, who am a gentleman born, know Latin, and have lived in + the best society, should be thrust into this abominable place with a dirty + fellow who was born in a cellar, and could never earn more at a time than + would purchase a sausage? No, no! none of your levelling principles for + me! I am liberal, Paul, and love liberty; but, thank Heaven, I despise + your democracies!” + </p> + <p> + Thus, half in earnest, half veiling a natural turn to sarcasm, would this + moderate Whig run on for the hour together during those long nights, + commencing at half-past four, in which he and Paul bore each other + company. + </p> + <p> + One evening, when Tomlinson was so bitterly disposed to be prolix that + Paul felt himself somewhat wearied by his eloquence, our hero, desirous of + a change in the conversation, reminded Augustus of his promise to + communicate his history; and the philosophical Whig, nothing loath to + speak of himself, cleared his throat, and began. + </p> + <p> + “Never mind who was my father, nor what was my native place! My first + ancestor was Tommy Linn (his heir became Tom Linn's son),—you have + heard the ballad made in his praise, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Tommy Linn is a Scotchman born, + His head is bald and his beard is shorn; + He had a cap made of a hare skin, + An elder man is Tommy Limn!' +</pre> + <p> + “There was a sort of prophecy respecting my ancestor's descendants darkly + insinuated in the concluding stanza of this ballad:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Tommy Linn, and his wife, and his wife's mother, + They all fell into the fire together; + They that lay undermost got a hot skin,— + + “We are not enough!” said Tommy Linn.'” + </pre> + <p> + “You see the prophecy: it is applicable both to gentlemen rogues and to + moderate Whigs; for both are undermost in the world, and both are + perpetually bawling out, 'We are not enough!' + </p> + <p> + “I shall begin my own history by saying, I went to a North Country school, + where I was noted for my aptness in learning; and my skill at 'prisoner's + base,'—upon my word I purposed no pun! I was intended for the + Church. Wishing, betimes, to instruct myself in its ceremonies, I + persuaded my schoolmaster's maidservant to assist me towards promoting a + christening. My father did not like this premature love for the sacred + rites. He took me home; and wishing to give my clerical ardour a different + turn, prepared me for writing sermons by reading me a dozen a day. I grew + tired of this, strange as it may seem to you. 'Father,' said I, one + morning, 'it is no use talking; I will not go into the Church,—that's + positive. Give me your blessing and a hundred pounds, and I'll go up to + London and get a living instead of a curacy.' My father stormed; but I got + the better at last. I talked of becoming a private tutor; swore I had + heard nothing was so easy,—the only things wanted were pupils; and + the only way to get them was to go to London and let my learning be known. + My poor father,—well, he's gone, and I am glad of it now!” The + speaker's voice faltered. “I got the better, I say, and I came to town, + where I had a relation a bookseller. Through his interest, I wrote a book + of Travels in Ethiopia for an earl's son, who wanted to become a lion; and + a Treatise on the Greek Particle, dedicated to the prime minister, for a + dean, who wanted to become a bishop,—Greek being, next to interest, + the best road to the mitre. These two achievements were liberally paid; so + I took a lodging in a first floor, and resolved to make a bold stroke for + a wife. What do you think I did?—nay, never guess; it would be + hopeless. First, I went to the best tailor, and had my clothes sewn on my + back; secondly, I got the peerage and its genealogies by heart; thirdly, I + marched one night, with the coolest deliberation possible, into the house + of a duchess, who was giving an immense rout! The newspapers had inspired + me with this idea. I had read of the vast crowds which a lady 'at home' + sought to win to her house. I had read of staircases impassable, and + ladies carried out in a fit; and common-sense told me how impossible it + was that the fair receiver should be acquainted with the legality of every + importation. I therefore resolved to try my chance, and—entered the + body of Augustus Tomlinson, as a piece of stolen goods. Faith! the first + night I was shy,—I stuck to the staircase, and ogled an old maid of + quality, whom I had heard announced as Lady Margaret Sinclair. Doubtless + she had never been ogled before; and she was evidently enraptured with my + glances. The next night I read of a ball at the Countess of ———-'s. + My heart beat as if I were going to be whipped; but I plucked up courage, + and repaired to her ladyship's. There I again beheld the divine Lady + Margaret; and observing that she turned yellow, by way of a blush, when + she saw me, I profited by the port I had drunk as an encouragement to my + entree, and lounging up in the most modish way possible, I reminded her + ladyship of an introduction with which I said I had once been honoured at + the Duke of Dashwell's, and requested her hand for the next cotillion. Oh, + Paul, fancy my triumph! The old damsel said, with a sigh, she remembered + me very well, ha, ha, ha!—and I carried her off to the cotillion + like another Theseus bearing away a second Ariadne. Not to be prolix on + this part of my life, I went night after night to balls and routs, for + admission to which half the fine gentlemen in London would have given + their ears. And I improved my time so well with Lady Margaret, who was her + own mistress and had L5,000,—a devilish bad portion for some, but + not to be laughed at by me,—that I began to think when the happy day + should be fixed. Meanwhile, as Lady Margaret introduced me to some of her + friends, and my lodgings were in a good situation, I had been honoured + with some real invitations. The only two questions I ever was asked were + (carelessly), 'Was I the only son?' and on my veritable answer 'Yes!' + 'What' (this was more warmly put),—'what was my county?' Luckily my + county was a wide one,—Yorkshire; and any of its inhabitants whom + the fair interrogators might have questioned about me could only have + answered, I was not in their part of it. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Paul, I grew so bold by success that the devil one day put it into + my head to go to a great dinner-party at the Duke of Dashwell's. I went, + dined,—nothing happened; I came away, and the next morning I read in + the papers,— + </p> + <p> + “'Mysterious affair—person lately going about—first houses—most + fashionable parties—nobody knows—Duke of Dashwell's yesterday. + Duke not like to make disturbance—as royalty present.” + </p> + <p> + “The journal dropped from my hands. At that moment the girl of the house + gave me a note from Lady Margaret,—alluded to the paragraph; + wondered who was 'The Stranger;' hoped to see me that night at Lord A——-'s, + to whose party I said I had been asked; speak then more fully on those + matters I had touched on!—in short, dear Paul, a tender epistle! All + great men are fatalists,—I am one now; fate made me a madman. In the + very face of this ominous paragraph I mustered up courage, and went that + night to Lord A——-'s. The fact is, my affairs were in + confusion,—I was greatly in debt. I knew it was necessary to finish + my conquest over Lady Margaret as soon as possible; and Lord A——-'s + seemed the best place for the purpose. Nay, I thought delay so dangerous, + after the cursed paragraph, that a day might unmask me, and it would be + better therefore not to lose an hour in finishing the play of 'The + Stranger' with the farce of 'The Honey Moon.' Behold me then at Lord A——-'s, + leading off Lady Margaret to the dance. Behold me whispering the sweetest + of things in her ear. Imagine her approving my suit, and gently chiding me + for talking of Gretna Green. Conceive all this, my dear fellow, and just + at the height of my triumph, dilate the eyes of your imagination, and + behold the stately form of Lord A——-, my noble host, marching + up to me, while a voice that, though low and quiet as an evening breeze, + made my heart sink into my shoes, said, 'I believe, sir, you have received + no invitation from Lady A——-?' + </p> + <p> + “Not a word could I utter, Paul,—not a word. Had it been the + highroad instead of a ballroom, I could have talked loudly enough; but I + was under a spell. 'Ehem!' I faltered at last,—'e-h-e-m! Some + mis-take, I—I—' There I stopped. + </p> + <p> + “'Sir,' said the earl, regarding me with a grave sternness, 'you had + better withdraw.' + </p> + <p> + “'Bless me! what's all this?' cried Lady Margaret, dropping my palsied + arm, and gazing on me as if she expected me to talk like a hero. + </p> + <p> + “'Oh,' said I, 'eh-e-m, eh-e-m,—I will exp—lain to-morrow,—ehem, + e-h-e-m.' I made to the door; all the eyes in the room seemed turned into + burning-glasses, and blistered the very skin on my face. I heard a gentle + shriek, as I left the apartment,—Lady Margaret fainting, I suppose! + There ended my courtship and my adventures in 'the best society.' + </p> + <p> + “I felt melancholy at the ill-success of my scheme. You must allow it was + a magnificent project. What moral courage! I admire myself when I think of + it. Without an introduction, without knowing a soul, to become, all by my + own resolution, free of the finest houses in London, dancing with earls' + daughters, and all but carrying off an earl's daughter myself as my wife. + If I had, the friends must have done something for me; and Lady Margaret + Tomlinson might perhaps have introduced the youthful genius of her + Augustus to parliament or the ministry. Oh, what a fall was there! Yet, + faith, ha, ha, ha! I could not help laughing, despite of my chagrin, when + I remembered that for three months I had imposed on these 'delicate + exclusives,' and been literally invited by many of them, who would not + have asked the younger sons of their own cousins, merely because I lived + in a good street, avowed myself an only child, and talked of my property + in Yorkshire! Ha, ha! how bitter the mercenary dupes must have felt when + the discovery was made! What a pill for the good matrons who had coupled + my image with that of some filial Mary or Jane,—ha, ha, ha! The + triumph was almost worth the mortification. However, as I said before, I + fell melancholy on it, especially as my duns became menacing. So I went to + consult with my cousin the bookseller. He recommended me to compose for + the journals, and obtained me an offer. I went to work very patiently for + a short time, and contracted some agreeable friendships with gentlemen + whom I met at an ordinary in St. James's. Still, my duns, though I paid + them by driblets, were the plague of my life. I confessed as much to one + of my new friends. 'Come to Bath with me,' quoth he, 'for a week, and you + shall return as rich as a Jew.' I accepted the offer, and went to Bath in + my friend's chariot. He took the name of Lord Dunshunner, an Irish peer + who had never been out of Tipperary, and was not therefore likely to be + known at Bath. He took also a house for a year; filled it with wines, + books, and a sideboard of plate. As he talked vaguely of setting up his + younger brother to stand for the town at the next parliament, he bought + these goods of the townspeople, in order to encourage their trade. I + managed secretly to transport them to London and sell them; and as we + disposed of them fifty per cent under cost price, our customers, the + pawnbrokers, were not very inquisitive. We lived a jolly life at Bath for + a couple of months, and departed one night, leaving our housekeeper to + answer all interrogatories. We had taken the precaution to wear disguises, + stuffed ourselves out, and changed the hues of our hair. My noble friend + was an adept in these transformations; and though the police did not sleep + on the business, they never stumbled on us. I am especially glad we were + not discovered, for I liked Bath excessively; and I intend to return there + some of these days, and retire from the world—on an heiress! + </p> + <p> + “Well, Paul, shortly after this adventure I made your acquaintance. I + continued ostensibly my literary profession, but only as a mask for the + labours I did not profess. A circumstance obliged me to leave London + rather precipitately. Lord Dunshunner joined me in Edinburgh. D—-it, + instead of doing anything there, we were done! The veriest urchin that + ever crept through the High Street is more than a match for the most + scientific of Englishmen. With us it is art; with the Scotch it is nature. + They pick your pockets without using their fingers for it; and they + prevent reprisal by having nothing for you to pick. + </p> + <p> + “We left Edinburgh with very long faces, and at Carlisle we found it + necessary to separate. For my part, I went as a valet to a nobleman who + had just lost his last servant at Carlisle by a fever; my friend gave me + the best of characters! My new master was a very clever man. He astonished + people at dinner by the impromptus he prepared at breakfast; in a word, he + was a wit. He soon saw, for he was learned himself, that I had received a + classical education, and he employed me in the confidential capacity of + finding quotations for him. I classed these alphabetically and under three + heads,—'Parliamentary, Literary, Dining-out.' These were again + subdivided into 'Fine,' 'Learned,' and 'Jocular;' so that my master knew + at once where to refer for genius, wisdom, and wit. He was delighted with + my management of his intellects. In compliment to him, I paid more + attention to politics than I had done before; for he was a 'great Whig,' + and uncommonly liberal in everything—but money! Hence, Paul, the + origin of my political principles; and I thank Heaven there is not now a + rogue in England who is a better—that is to say, more of a + moderate-Whig than your humble servant! I continued with him nearly a + year. He discharged me for a fault worthy of my genius: other servants may + lose the watch or the coat of their master; I went at nobler game, and + lost him—his private character!” + </p> + <p> + “How do you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, I was enamoured of a lady who would not have looked at me as Mr. + Tomlinson; so I took my master's clothes and occasionally his carriage, + and made love to my nymph as Lord. Her vanity made her indiscreet. The + Tory papers got hold of it; and my master, in a change of ministers, was + declared by George the Third to be 'too gay for a Chancellor of the + Exchequer.' An old gentleman who had had fifteen children by a wife like a + Gorgon, was chosen instead of my master; and although the new minister was + a fool in his public capacity, the moral public were perfectly content + with him, because of his private virtues! + </p> + <p> + “My master was furious, made the strictest inquiry, found me out, and + turned me out too! + </p> + <p> + “A Whig not in place has an excuse for disliking the Constitution. My + distress almost made me a republican; but, true to my creed, I must + confess that I would only have levelled upwards. I especially disaffected + the inequality of riches; I looked moodily on every carriage that passed; + I even frowned like a second Catiline at the steam of a gentle man's + kitchen! My last situation had not been lucrative; I had neglected my + perquisites, in my ardour for politics. My master, too, refused to give me + a character: who would take me without one? + </p> + <p> + “I was asking myself this melancholy question one morning, when I suddenly + encountered one of the fine friends I had picked up at my old haunt, the + ordinary, in St. James's. His name was Pepper.” + </p> + <p> + “Pepper!” cried Paul. + </p> + <p> + Without heeding the exclamation, Tomlinson continued:—“We went to a + tavern and drank a bottle together. Wine made me communicative; it also + opened my comrade's heart. He asked me to take a ride with him that night + towards Hounslow. I did so, and found a purse.” + </p> + <p> + “How fortunate! Where?” + </p> + <p> + “In a gentleman's pocket. I was so pleased with my luck that I went the + same road twice a week, in order to see if I could pick up any more + purses. Fate favoured me, and I lived for a long time the life of the + blessed. Oh, Paul, you know not—you know not what a glorious life is + that of a highwayman; but you shall taste it one of these days,—you + shall, on my honour. + </p> + <p> + “I now lived with a club of honest fellows. We called ourselves 'The + Exclusives,'—for we were mighty reserved in our associates, and only + those who did business on a grand scale were admitted into our set. For my + part, with all my love for my profession, I liked ingenuity still better + than force, and preferred what the vulgar call swindling, even to the + highroad. On an expedition of this sort, I rode once into a country town, + and saw a crowd assembled in one corner; I joined it, and my feelings!—beheld + my poor friend Viscount Dunshunner just about to be hanged! I rode off as + fast as I could,—I thought I saw Jack Ketch at my heels. My horse + threw me at a hedge, and I broke my collar-bone. In the confinement that + ensued gloomy ideas floated before me. I did not like to be hanged; so I + reasoned against my errors, and repented. I recovered slowly, returned to + town, and repaired to my cousin the bookseller. To say truth, I had played + him a little trick: collected some debts of his by a mistake,—very + natural in the confusion incident on my distresses. However, he was + extremely unkind about it; and the mistake, natural as it was, had cost me + his acquaintance. + </p> + <p> + “I went now to him with the penitential aspect of the prodigal son; and, + faith, he would have not made a bad representation of the fatted calf + about to be killed on my return,—so corpulent looked he, and so + dejected! 'Graceless reprobate!' he began, 'your poor father is dead!' I + was exceedingly shocked; but—never fear, Paul, I am not about to be + pathetic. My father had divided his fortune among all his children; my + share was L500. The possession of this soon made my penitence seem much + more sincere in the eyes of my good cousin; and after a very pathetic + scene, he took me once more into favour. I now consulted with him as to + the best method of laying out my capital and recovering my character. We + could not devise any scheme at the first conference; but the second time I + saw him, my cousin said with a cheerful countenance: 'Cheer up, Augustus, + I have got thee a situation. Mr. Asgrave the banker will take thee as a + clerk. He is a most worthy man; and having a vast deal of learning, he + will respect thee for thy acquirements.' The same day I was introduced to + Mr. Asgrave, who was a little man with a fine, bald, benevolent head; and + after a long conversation which he was pleased to hold with me, I became + one of his quill-drivers. I don't know how it was, but by little and + little I rose in my master's good graces. I propitiated him, I fancy, by + disposing of my L500 according to his advice; he laid it out for me, on + what he said was famous security, on a landed estate. Mr. Asgrave was of + social habits,—he had a capital house and excellent wines. As he was + not very particular in his company, nor ambitious of visiting the great, + he often suffered me to make one of his table, and was pleased to hold + long arguments with me about the ancients. I soon found out that my master + was a great moral philosopher; and being myself in weak health, sated with + the ordinary pursuits of the world, in which my experience had forestalled + my years, and naturally of a contemplative temperament, I turned my + attention to the moral studies which so fascinated my employer. I read + through nine shelves full of metaphysicians, and knew exactly the points + in which those illustrious thinkers quarrelled with each other, to the + great advance of the science. My master and I used to hold many a long + discussion about the nature of good and evil; as, by help of his + benevolent forehead and a clear dogged voice, he always seemed to our + audience to be the wiser and better man of the two, he was very well + pleased with our disputes. This gentleman had an only daughter,—an + awful shrew, with a face like a hatchet but philosophers overcome personal + defects; and thinking only of the good her wealth might enable me to do to + my fellow-creatures, I secretly made love to her. You will say that was + playing my master but a scurvy trick for his kindness. Not at all; my + master himself had convinced me that there was no such virtue as + gratitude. It was an error of vulgar moralists. I yielded to his + arguments, and at length privately espoused his daughter. The day after + this took place, he summoned me to his study. 'So, Augustus,' said he, + very mildly, 'you have married my daughter: nay, never look confused; I + saw a long time ago that you were resolved to do so, and I was very glad + of it.' + </p> + <p> + “I attempted to falter out something like thanks. 'Never interrupt me!' + said he. 'I had two reasons for being glad,—first, because my + daughter was the plague of my life, and I wanted some one to take her off + my hands; secondly, because I required your assistance on a particular + point, and I could not venture to ask it of any one but my son-in-law. In + fine, I wish to take you into partnership!' + </p> + <p> + “'Partnership!' cried I, falling on my knees. 'Noble, generous man!' + </p> + <p> + “'Stay a bit,' continued my father-in-law. 'What funds do you think + requisite for carrying on a bank? You look puzzled! Not a shilling! You + will put in just as much as I do. You will put in rather more; for you + once put in L500, which has been spent long ago. I don't put in a shilling + of my own. I live on my clients, and I very willingly offer you half of + them!' + </p> + <p> + “Imagine, dear Paul, my astonishment, my dismay! I saw myself married to a + hideous shrew,—son-in-law to a penniless scoundrel, and cheated out + of my whole fortune! Compare this view of the question with that which had + blazed on me when I contemplated being son-in-law to the rich Mr. Asgrave. + I stormed at first. Mr. Asgrave took up Bacon 'On the Advancement of + Learning,' and made no reply till I was cooled by explosion. You will + perceive that when passion subsided, I necessarily saw that nothing was + left for me but adopting my father-in-law's proposal. Thus, by the + fatality which attended me at the very time I meant to reform, I was + forced into scoundrelism, and I was driven into defrauding a vast number + of persons by the accident of being son-in-law to a great moralist. As Mr. + Asgrave was an indolent man, who passed his mornings in speculations on + virtue, I was made the active partner. I spent the day at the + counting-house; and when I came home for recreation, my wife scratched my + eyes out.” + </p> + <p> + “But were you never recognized as 'the stranger' or 'the adventurer' in + your new capacity?” + </p> + <p> + “No; for of course I assumed, in all my changes, both aliases and + disguises. And, to tell you the truth, my marriage so altered me that, + what with a snuff-coloured coat and a brown scratch wig, with a pen in my + right ear, I looked the very picture of staid respectability. My face grew + an inch longer every day. Nothing is so respectable as a long face; and a + subdued expression of countenance is the surest sign of commercial + prosperity. Well, we went on splendidly enough for about a year. Meanwhile + I was wonderfully improved in philosophy. You have no idea how a scolding + wife sublimes and rarefies one's intellect. Thunder clears the air, you + know! At length, unhappily for my fame (for I contemplated a magnificent + moral history of man, which, had she lived a year longer, I should have + completed), my wife died in child-bed. My father-in-law and I were talking + over the event, and finding fault with civilization for the enervating + habits by which women die of their children instead of bringing them forth + without being even conscious of the circumstance, when a bit of paper, + sealed awry, was given to my partner. He looked over it, finished the + discussion, and then told me our bank had stopped payment. 'Now, + Augustus,' said he, lighting his pipe with the bit of paper, 'you see the + good of having nothing to lose.' + </p> + <p> + “We did not pay quite sixpence in the pound; but my partner was thought so + unfortunate that the British public raised a subscription for him, and he + retired on an annuity, greatly respected and very much compassionated. As + I had not been so well known as a moralist, and had not the prepossessing + advantage of a bald, benevolent head, nothing was done for me, and I was + turned once more on the wide world, to moralize on the vicissitudes of + fortune. My cousin the bookseller was no more, and his son cut me. I took + a garret in Warwick Court, and with a few books, my only consolation, I + endeavoured to nerve my mind to the future. It was at this time, Paul, + that my studies really availed me. I meditated much, and I became a true + philosopher, namely, a practical one. My actions were henceforth regulated + by principle; and at some time or other, I will convince you that the road + of true morals never avoids the pockets of your neighbour. So soon as my + mind had made the grand discovery which Mr. Asgrave had made before me, + that one should live according to a system,—for if you do wrong, it + is then your system that errs, not you,—I took to the road, without + any of those stings of conscience which had hitherto annoyed me in such + adventures. I formed one of a capital knot of 'Free Agents,' whom I will + introduce to you some day or other, and I soon rose to distinction among + them. But about six weeks ago, not less than formerly preferring byways to + highways, I attempted to possess myself of a carriage, and sell it at + discount. I was acquitted on the felony, but sent hither by Justice + Burnflat on the misdemeanour. Thus far, my young friend, hath as yet + proceeded the life of Augustus Tomlinson.” The history of this gentleman + made a deep impression on Paul. The impression was strengthened by the + conversations subsequently holden with Augustus. That worthy was a + dangerous and subtle persuader. He had really read a good deal of history, + and something of morals; and he had an ingenious way of defending his + rascally practices by syllogisms from the latter, and examples from the + former. These theories he clenched, as it were, by a reference to the + existing politics of the day. Cheaters of the public, on false pretences, + he was pleased to term “moderate Whigs;” bullying demanders of your purse + were “high Tories;” and thieving in gangs was “the effect of the spirit of + party.” There was this difference between Augustus Tomlinson and Long Ned,—Ned + was the acting knave, Augustus the reasoning one; and we may see + therefore, by a little reflection, that Tomlinson was a far more perilous + companion than Pepper,—for showy theories are always more seductive + to the young and clever than suasive examples, and the vanity of the + youthful makes them better pleased by being convinced of a thing than by + being enticed to it. + </p> + <p> + A day or two after the narrative of Mr. Tomlinson, Paul was again visited + by Mrs. Lobkins,—for the regulations against frequent visitors were + not then so strictly enforced as we understand them to be now; and the + good dame came to deplore the ill-success of her interview with Justice + Burnflat. + </p> + <p> + We spare the tender-hearted reader a detail of the affecting interview + that ensued. Indeed, it was but a repetition of the one we have before + narrated. We shall only say, as a proof of Paul's tenderness of heart, + that when he took leave of the good matron, and bade “God bless her,” his + voice faltered, and the tears stood in his eyes,—just as they were + wont to do in the eyes of George the Third, when that excellent monarch + was pleased graciously to encore “God save the King!” + </p> + <p> + “I'll be hanged,” soliloquized our hero, as he slowly bent his course + towards the subtle Augustus,—“I'll be hanged (humph! the + denunciation is prophetic), if I don't feel as grateful to the old lady + for her care of me as if she had never ill-used me. As for my parents, I + believe I have little to be grateful for or proud of in that quarter. My + poor mother, by all accounts, seems scarcely to have had even the brute + virtue of maternal tenderness; and in all human likelihood I shall never + know whether I had one father or fifty. But what matters it? I rather like + the better to be independent; and, after all, what do nine tenths of us + ever get from our parents but an ugly name, and advice which, if we + follow, we are wretched, and if we neglect, we are disinherited?” + </p> + <p> + Comforting himself with these thoughts, which perhaps took their + philosophical complexion from the conversations he had lately held with + Augustus, and which broke off into the muttered air of— + </p> + <p> + “Why should we quarrel for riches?” + </p> + <p> + Paul repaired to his customary avocations. + </p> + <p> + In the third week of our hero's captivity Tomlinson communicated to him a + plan of escape that had occurred to his sagacious brain. In the yard + appropriated to the amusements of the gentlemen “misdemeaning,” there was + a water-pipe that, skirting the wall, passed over the door through which + every morning the pious captives passed in their way to the chapel. By + this Tomlinson proposed to escape; for to the pipe which reached from the + door to the wall, in a slanting and easy direction, there was a sort of + skirting-board; and a dexterous and nimble man might readily, by the help + of this board, convey himself along the pipe, until the progress of that + useful conductor (which was happily very brief) was stopped by the summit + of the wall, where it found a sequel in another pipe, that descended to + the ground on the opposite side of the wall. Now, on this opposite side + was the garden of the prison; in this garden was a watchman, and this + watchman was the hobgoblin of Tomlinson's scheme,—“For suppose us + safe in the garden,” said he, “what shall we do with this confounded + fellow?” + </p> + <p> + “But that is not all,” added Paul; “for even were there no watchman, there + is a terrible wall, which I noted especially last week, when we were set + to work in the garden, and which has no pipe, save a perpendicular one, + that a man must have the legs of a fly to be able to climb!” + </p> + <p> + “Nonsense!” returned Tomlinson; “I will show you how to climb the + stubbornest wall in Christendom, if one has but the coast clear. It is the + watchman, the watchman, we must—” + </p> + <p> + “What?” asked Paul, observing his comrade did not conclude the sentence. + </p> + <p> + It was some time before the sage Augustus replied; he then said in a + musing tone,— + </p> + <p> + “I have been thinking, Paul, whether it would be consistent with virtue, + and that strict code of morals by which all my actions are regulated, to—slay + the watchman!” + </p> + <p> + “Good heavens!” cried Paul, horror-stricken. + </p> + <p> + “And I have decided,” continued Augustus, solemnly, without regard to the + exclamation, “that the action would be perfectly justifiable!” + </p> + <p> + “Villain!” exclaimed Paul, recoiling to the other end of the stone box—for + it was night—in which they were cooped. + </p> + <p> + “But,” pursued Augustus, who seemed soliloquizing, and whose voice, + sounding calm and thoughtful, like Young's in the famous monologue in + “Hamlet,” denoted that he heeded not the uncourteous interruption,—“but + opinion does not always influence conduct; and although it may be virtuous + to murder the watchman, I have not the heart to do it. I trust in my + future history I shall not by discerning moralists be too severely + censured for a weakness for which my physical temperament is alone to + blame!” + </p> + <p> + Despite the turn of the soliloquy, it was a long time before Paul could be + reconciled to further conversation with Augustus; and it was only from the + belief that the moralist had leaned to the jesting vein that he at length + resumed the consultation. + </p> + <p> + The conspirators did not, however, bring their scheme that night to any + ultimate decision. The next day Augustus, Paul, and some others of the + company were set to work in the garden; and Paul then observed that his + friend, wheeling a barrow close by the spot where the watchman stood, + overturned its contents. The watchman was good-natured enough to assist + him in refilling the barrow; and Tomlinson profited so well by the + occasion that that night he informed Paul that they would have nothing to + dread from the watchman's vigilance. “He has promised,” said Augustus, + “for certain consi-de-ra-tions, to allow me to knock him down; he has also + promised to be so much hurt as not to be able to move until we are over + the wall. Our main difficulty now, then, is the first step,—namely, + to climb the pipe unperceived!” + </p> + <p> + “As to that,” said Paul, who developed, through the whole of the scheme, + organs of sagacity, boldness, and invention which charmed his friend, and + certainly promised well for his future career,—“as to that, I think + we may manage the first ascent with less danger than you imagine. The + mornings of late have been very foggy; they are almost dark at the hour we + go to chapel. Let you and I close the file: the pipe passes just above the + door; our hands, as we have tried, can reach it; and a spring of no great + agility will enable us to raise ourselves up to a footing on the pipe and + the skirting-board. + </p> + <p> + “The climbing then is easy; and what with the dense fog and our own + quickness, I think we shall have little difficulty in gaining the garden. + The only precautions we need use are, to wait for a very dark morning, and + to be sure that we are the last of the file, so that no one behind may + give the alarm—” + </p> + <p> + “Or attempt to follow our example, and spoil the pie by a superfluous + plum!” added Augustus. “You counsel admirably; and one of these days, if + you are not hung in the mean while, will, I venture to auger, be a great + logician.” + </p> + <p> + The next morning was clear and frosty; but the day after was, to use + Tomlinson's simile, “as dark as if all the negroes of Africa had been + stewed down into air.” “You might have cut the fog with a knife,” as the + proverb says. Paul and Augustus could not even see how significantly each + looked at the other. + </p> + <p> + It was a remarkable trait of the daring temperament of the former, that, + young as he was, it was fixed that he should lead the attempt. At the + hour, then, for chapel the prisoners passed as usual through the door. + When it came to Paul's turn he drew himself by his hands to the pipe, and + then creeping along its sinuous course, gained the wall before he had even + fetched his breath. Rather more clumsily, Augustus followed his friend's + example. Once his foot slipped, and he was all but over. He extended his + hands involuntarily, and caught Paul by the leg. Happily our hero had then + gained the wall, to which he was clinging; and for once in a way, one + rogue raised himself without throwing over another. Behold Tomlinson and + Paul now seated for an instant on the wall to recover breath; the latter + then,—the descent to the ground was not very great,—letting + his body down by his hands, dropped into the garden. + </p> + <p> + “Hurt?” asked the prudent Augustus, in a hoarse whisper, before he + descended from his “bad eminence,” being even willing— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “To bear those ills he had, + Than fly to others that he knew not of” + </pre> + <p> + “No!” without taking every previous precaution in his power, was the + answer in the same voice, and Augustus dropped. + </p> + <p> + So soon as this latter worthy had recovered the shock of his fall, he lost + not a moment in running to the other end of the garden. Paul followed. By + the way Tomlinson stopped at a heap of rubbish, and picked up an immense + stone. When they came to the part of the wall they had agreed to scale, + they found the watchman,—about whom they needed not, by the by, to + have concerned themselves; for had it not been arranged that he was to + have met them, the deep fog would have effectually prevented him from + seeing them. This faithful guardian Augustus knocked down, not with a + stone, but with ten guineas; he then drew forth from his dress a thickish + cord, which he procured some days before from the turnkey, and fastening + the stone firmly to one end, threw that end over the wall. Now the wall + had (as walls of great strength mostly have) an overhanging sort of + battlement on either side; and the stone, when flung over and drawn to the + tether of the cord to which it was attached, necessarily hitched against + this projection; and thus the cord was as it were fastened to the wall, + and Tomlinson was enabled by it to draw himself up to the top of the + barrier. He performed this feat with gymnastic address, like one who had + often practised it; albeit the discreet adventurer had not mentioned in + his narrative to Paul any previous occasion for the practice. As soon as + he had gained the top of the wall, he threw down the cord to his + companion, and, in consideration of Paul's inexperience in that manner of + climbing, gave the fastening of the rope an additional security by holding + it himself. With slowness and labour Paul hoisted himself up; and then, by + transferring the stone to the other side of the wall, where it made of + course a similar hitch, our two adventurers were enabled successively to + slide down, and consummate their escape from the House of Correction. + </p> + <p> + “Follow me now!” said Augustus, as he took to his heels; and Paul pursued + him through a labyrinth of alleys and lanes, through which he shot and + dodged with a variable and shifting celerity that, had not Paul kept close + upon him, would very soon, combined with the fog, have snatched him from + the eyes of his young ally. Happily the immaturity of the morning, the + obscurity of the streets passed through, and above all, the extreme + darkness of the atmosphere, prevented that detection and arrest which + their prisoner's garb would otherwise have insured them. At length they + found themselves in the fields; and skulking along hedges, and diligently + avoiding the highroad, they continued to fly onward, until they had + advanced several miles into “the bowels of the land.” At that time “the + bowels” of Augustus Tomlinson began to remind him of their demands; and he + accordingly suggested the desirability of their seizing the first peasant + they encountered, and causing him to exchange clothes with one of the + fugitives, who would thus be enabled to enter a public-house and provide + for their mutual necessities. Paul agreed to this proposition, and + accordingly they watched their opportunity and caught a ploughman. + Augustus stripped him of his frock, hat, and worsted stockings; and Paul, + hardened by necessity and companionship, helped to tie the poor ploughman + to a tree. They then continued their progress for about an hour, and, as + the shades of evening fell around them, they discovered a public-house. + Augustus entered, and returned in a few minutes laden with bread and + cheese, and a bottle of beer. Prison fare cures a man of daintiness, and + the two fugitives dined on these homely viands with considerable + complacency. They then resumed their journey, and at length, wearied with + exertion, they arrived at a lonely haystack, where they resolved to repose + for an hour or two. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Unlike the ribald, whose licentious jest + Pollutes his banquet, and insults his guest, + From wealth and grandeur easy to descend, + Thou joy'st to lose the master in the friend. + We round thy board the cheerful menials see, Gay— + with the smile of bland equality; + No social care the gracious lord disdains; + Love prompts to love, and reverence reverence gains. + + Translation of LUCAN to Paso, + Prefixed to the Twelfth Paper of “The Rambler.” + </pre> + <p> + Coyly shone down the bashful stars upon our adventurers, as, after a short + nap behind the haystack, they stretched themselves, and looking at each + other, burst into an involuntary and hilarious laugh at the prosperous + termination of their exploit. + </p> + <p> + Hitherto they had been too occupied, first by their flight, then by + hunger, then by fatigue, for self-gratulation; now they rubbed their + hands, and joked like runaway schoolboys at their escape. + </p> + <p> + By degrees their thoughts turned from the past to the future; and “Tell + me, my dear fellow,” said Augustus, “what you intend to do. I trust I have + long ago convinced you that it is no sin 'to serve our friends' and to 'be + true to our party;' and therefore, I suppose, you will decide upon taking + to the road.” + </p> + <p> + “It is very odd,” answered Paul, “that I should have any scruples left + after your lectures on the subject; but I own to you frankly that, somehow + or other, I have doubts whether thieving be really the honestest + profession I could follow.” + </p> + <p> + “Listen to me, Paul,” answered Augustus; and his reply is not unworthy of + notice. “All crime and all excellence depend upon a good choice of words. + I see you look puzzled; I will explain. If you take money from the public, + and say you have robbed, you have indubitably committed a great crime; but + if you do the same, and say you have been relieving the necessities of the + poor, you have done an excellent action. If, in afterwards dividing this + money with your companions, you say you have been sharing booty, you have + committed an offence against the laws of your country; but if you observe + that you have been sharing with your friends the gains of your industry, + you have been performing one of the noblest actions of humanity. To knock + a man on the head is neither virtuous nor guilty, but it depends upon the + language applied to the action to make it murder or glory. Why not say, + then, that you have testified the courage of a hero, rather than the + atrocity of a ruffian? This is perfectly clear, is it not?” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [We observe in a paragraph from an American paper, copied without + comment into the “Morning Chronicle,” a singular proof of the truth + of Tomlinson's philosophy! “Mr. Rowland Stephenson,” so runs the + extract, “the celebrated English banker, has just purchased a + considerable tract of land,” etc. Most philosophical of + paragraphists! “Celebrated English banker!”—that sentence is a + better illustration of verbal fallacies than all Ben tham's + treatises put together. “Celebrated!” O Mercury, what a dexterous + epithet!] +</pre> + <p> + “It seems so,” answered Paul. + </p> + <p> + “It is so self-evident that it is the way all governments are carried on. + Wherefore, my good Paul, we only do what all other legislators do. We are + never rogues so long as we call ourselves honest fellows, and we never + commit a crime so long as we can term it a virtue. What say you now?” + </p> + <p> + Paul smiled, and was silent a few moments before he replied: “There is + very little doubt but that you are wrong; yet if you are, so are all the + rest of the world. It is of no use to be the only white sheep of the + flock. Wherefore, my dear Tomlinson, I will in future be an excellent + citizen, relieve the necessities of the poor, and share the gains of my + industry with my friends.” + </p> + <p> + “Bravo!” cried Tomlinson. “And now that that is settled, the sooner you + are inaugurated the better. Since the starlight has shone forth, I see + that I am in a place I ought to be very well acquainted with; or, if you + like to be suspicious, you may believe that I have brought you purposely + in this direction. But first let me ask if you feel any great desire to + pass the night by this haystack, or whether you would like a song and the + punchbowl almost as much as the open air, with the chance of being eaten + up in a pinch of hay by some strolling cow.” + </p> + <p> + “You may conceive my choice,” answered Paul. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, there is an excellent fellow near here, who keeps a + public-house, and is a firm ally and generous patron of the lads of the + cross. At certain periods they hold weekly meetings at his house: this is + one of the nights. What say you? Shall I introduce you to the club?” + </p> + <p> + “I shall be very glad if they will admit me,” returned Paul, whom many and + conflicting thoughts rendered laconic. + </p> + <p> + “Oh! no fear of that, under my auspices. To tell you the truth, though we + are a tolerant set, we welcome every new proselyte with enthusiasm. But + are you tired?” + </p> + <p> + “A little; the house is not far, you say?” + </p> + <p> + “About a mile off,” answered Tomlinson. “Lean on me.” + </p> + <p> + Our wanderers now, leaving the haystack, struck across part of Finchley + Common; for the abode of the worthy publican was felicitously situated, + and the scene in which his guests celebrated their festivities was close + by that on which they often performed their exploits. + </p> + <p> + As they proceeded, Paul questioned his friend touching the name and + character of “mine host;” and the all-knowing Augustus Tomlinson answered + him, Quaker-like, by a question,— + </p> + <p> + “Have you never heard of Gentleman George?” + </p> + <p> + “What! the noted head of a flash public-house in the country? To be sure I + have, often; my poor nurse, Dame Lobkins, used to say he was the + best-spoken man in the trade!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, so he is still. In his youth, George was a very handsome fellow, but + a little too fond of his lass and his bottle to please his father,—a + very staid old gentleman, who walked about on Sundays in a bob-wig and a + gold-headed cane, and was a much better farmer on week-days than he was + head of a public-house. George used to be a remarkably smart-dressed + fellow, and so he is to this day. He has a great deal of wit, is a very + good whist-player, has a capital cellar, and is so fond of seeing his + friends drunk, that he bought some time ago a large pewter measure in + which six men can stand upright. The girls, or rather the old women, to + which last he used to be much more civil of the two, always liked him; + they say nothing is so fine as his fine speeches, and they give him the + title of 'Gentleman George.' He is a nice, kind-hearted man in many + things. Pray Heaven we shall have no cause to miss him when he departs! + But, to tell you the truth, he takes more than his share of our common + purse.” + </p> + <p> + “What! is he avaricious?” + </p> + <p> + “Quite the reverse; but he's so cursedly fond of building, he invests all + his money (and wants us to invest all ours) in houses; and there's one + confounded dog of a bricklayer who runs him up terrible bills,—a + fellow called 'Cunning Nat,' who is equally adroit in spoiling ground and + improving ground rent.” + </p> + <p> + “What do you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! thereby hangs a tale. But we are near the place now; you will see a + curious set.” + </p> + <p> + As Tomlinson said this, the pair approached a house standing alone, and + seemingly without any other abode in the vicinity. It was of curious and + grotesque shape, painted white, with a Gothic chimney, a Chinese sign-post + (on which was depicted a gentleman fishing, with the words “The Jolly + Angler” written beneath), and a porch that would have been Grecian if it + had not been Dutch. It stood in a little field, with a hedge behind it, + and the common in front. Augustus stopped at the door; and while he + paused, bursts of laughter rang cheerily within. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, the merry boys!” he muttered; “I long to be with them;” and then with + his clenched fist he knocked four times on the door. There was a sudden + silence which lasted about a minute, and was broken by a voice within, + asking who was there. Tomlinson answered by some cabalistic word; the door + was opened, and a little boy presented himself. + </p> + <p> + “Well, my lad,” said Augustus, “and how is your master? Stout and hearty, + if I may judge by his voice.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, Master Tommy, ay, he's boosing away at a fine rate, in the + back-parlour, with Mr. Pepper and Fighting Attie, and half-a-score more of + them. He'll be woundy glad to see you, I'll be bound.” + </p> + <p> + “Show this gentleman into the bar,” rejoined Augustus, “while I go and pay + my respects to honest Geordie.” + </p> + <p> + The boy made a sort of a bow, and leading our hero into the bar, consigned + him to the care of Sal, a buxom barmaid, who reflected credit on the taste + of the landlord, and who received Paul with marked distinction and a gill + of brandy. + </p> + <p> + Paul had not long to play the amiable, before Tomlinson rejoined him with + the information that Gentleman George would be most happy to see him in + the back-parlour, and that he would there find an old friend in the person + of Mr. Pepper. + </p> + <p> + “What! is he here?” cried Paul. “The sorry knave, to let me be caged in + his stead!” + </p> + <p> + “Gently, gently; no misapplication of terms!” said Augustus. “That was not + knavery; that was prudence, the greatest of all virtues, and the rarest. + But come along, and Pepper shall explain to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + Threading a gallery or passage, Augustus preceded our hero, opened a door, + and introduced him into a long low apartment, where sat, round a table + spread with pipes and liquor, some ten or a dozen men, while at the top of + the table, in an armchair, presided Gentleman George. That dignitary was a + portly and comely gentleman, with a knowing look, and a Welsh wig, worn, + as the “Morning Chronicle” says of his Majesty's hat, “in a degage manner, + on one side.” Being afflicted with the gout, his left foot reclined on a + stool; and the attitude developed, despite of a lamb's-wool stocking, the + remains of an exceedingly good leg. + </p> + <p> + As Gentleman George was a person of majestic dignity among the Knights of + the Cross, we trust we shall not be thought irreverent in applying a few + of the words by which the aforesaid “Morning Chronicle” depicted his + Majesty on the day he laid the first stone of his father's monument to the + description of Gentleman George. + </p> + <p> + “He had on a handsome blue coat and a white waistcoat;” moreover, “he + laughed most good-humouredly,” as, turning to Augustus Tomlinson, he + saluted him with,— + </p> + <p> + “So this is the youngster you present to us? Welcome to the Jolly Angler! + Give us thy hand, young sir; I shall be happy to blow a cloud with thee.” + </p> + <p> + “With all due submission,” said Mr. Tomlinson, “I think it may first be as + well to introduce my pupil and friend to his future companions.” + </p> + <p> + “You speak like a leary cove,” cried Gentleman George, still squeezing our + hero's hand; and turning round in his elbow-chair, he pointed to each + member, as he severally introduced his guests to Paul. + </p> + <p> + “Here,” said he,—“here's a fine chap at my right hand” (the person + thus designated was a thin military-looking figure, in a shabby + riding-frock, and with a commanding, bold, aquiline countenance, a little + the worse for wear),—“here's a fine chap for you! Fighting Attie we + calls him; he's a devil on the road. 'Halt,—deliver,—must and + shall,—can't and sha' n't,—do as I bid you, or go to the + devil!' That's all Fighting Attie's palaver; and, 'Sdeath, it has a + wonderful way of coming to the point! A famous cull is my friend Attie,—an + old soldier,—has seen the world, and knows what is what; has lots of + gumption, and devil a bit of blarney. Howsomever, the highflyers does n't + like him; and when he takes people's money, he need not be quite so cross + about it. Attie, let me introduce a new pal to you.” Paul made his bow. + </p> + <p> + “Stand at ease, man!” quoth the veteran, without taking the pipe from his + mouth. + </p> + <p> + Gentleman George then continued; and after pointing out four or five of + the company (among whom our hero discovered, to his surprise, his old + friends Mr. Eustace Fitzherbert and Mr. William Howard Russell), came, at + length, to one with a very red face and a lusty frame of body. “That + gentleman,” said he, “is Scarlet Jem; a dangerous fellow for a press, + though he says he likes robbing alone now, for a general press is not half + such a good thing as it used to be formerly. You have no idea what a hand + at disguising himself Scarlet Jem is. He has an old wig which he generally + does business in; and you would not go for to know him again when he + conceals himself under the wig. Oh, he's a precious rogue, is Scarlet Jem! + As for the cove on t' other side,” continued the host of the Jolly Angler, + pointing to Long Ned, “all I can say of him, good, bad, or indifferent, is + that he has an unkimmon fine head of hair; and now, youngster, as you + knows him, s'pose you goes and sits by him, and he'll introduce you to the + rest; for, split my wig!” (Gentleman George was a bit of a swearer) “if I + be n't tired; and so here's to your health; and if so be as your name's + Paul, may you always rob Peter [a portmanteau] in order to pay Paul!” + </p> + <p> + This witticism of mine host's being exceedingly well received, Paul went, + amidst the general laughter, to take possession of the vacant seat beside + Long Ned. That tall gentleman, who had hitherto been cloud-compelling (as + Homer calls Jupiter) in profound silence, now turned to Paul with the + warmest cordiality, declared himself overjoyed to meet his old friend once + more, and congratulated him alike on his escape from Bridewell and his + admission to the councils of Gentleman George. But Paul, mindful of that + exertion of “prudence” on the part of Mr. Pepper by which he had been left + to his fate and the mercy of Justice Burnflat, received his advances very + sullenly. This coolness so incensed Ned, who was naturally choleric, that + he turned his back on our hero, and being of an aristocratic spirit, + muttered something about “upstart, and vulgar clyfakers being admitted to + the company of swell tobymen.” This murmur called all Paul's blood into + his cheek; for though he had been punished as a clyfaker (or pickpocket), + nobody knew better than Long Ned whether or not he was innocent; and a + reproach from him came therefore with double injustice and severity. In + his wrath he seized Mr. Pepper by the ear, and telling him he was a shabby + scoundrel, challenged him to fight. + </p> + <p> + So pleasing an invitation not being announced sotto voce, but in a tone + suited to the importance of the proposition, every one around heard it; + and before Long Ned could answer, the full voice of Gentleman George + thundered forth,— + </p> + <p> + “Keep the peace there, you youngster! What! are you just admitted into our + merry-makings, and must you be wrangling already? Harkye, gemmen, I have + been plagued enough with your quarrels before now; and the first cove as + breaks the present quiet of the Jolly Angler shall be turned out neck and + crop,—sha' n't he, Attie?” + </p> + <p> + “Right about, march!” said the hero. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, that's the word, Attie,” said Gentleman George. “And now, Mr. Pepper, + if there be any ill blood 'twixt you and the lad there, wash it away in a + bumper of bingo, and let's hear no more whatsomever about it.” + </p> + <p> + “I'm willing,” cried Long Ned, with the deferential air of a courtier, and + holding out his hand to Paul. Our hero, being somewhat abashed by the + novelty of his situation and the rebuke of Gentleman George, accepted, + though with some reluctance, the proffered courtesy. + </p> + <p> + Order being thus restored, the conversation of the convivialists began to + assume a most fascinating bias. They talked with infinite gout of the sums + they had levied on the public, and the peculations they had committed for + what one called the good of the community, and another, the established + order,—meaning themselves. It was easy to see in what school the + discerning Augustus Tomlinson had learned the value of words. + </p> + <p> + There was something edifying in hearing the rascals! So nice was their + language, and so honest their enthusiasm for their own interests, you + might have imagined you were listening to a coterie of cabinet ministers + conferring on taxes or debating on perquisites. + </p> + <p> + “Long may the Commons flourish!” cried punning Georgie, filling his glass; + “it is by the commons we're fed, and may they never know cultivation!” + </p> + <p> + “Three times three!” shouted Long Ned; and the toast was drunk as Mr. + Pepper proposed. + </p> + <p> + “A little moderate cultivation of the commons, to speak frankly,” said + Augustus Tomlinson, modestly, “might not be amiss; for it would decoy + people into the belief that they might travel safely; and, after all, a + hedge or a barley-field is as good for us as a barren heath, where we have + no shelter if once pursued!” + </p> + <p> + “You talks nonsense, you spooney!” cried a robber of note, called Bagshot; + who, being aged and having been a lawyer's footboy, was sometimes + denominated “Old Bags.” “You talks nonsense; these innowating ploughs are + the ruin of us. Every blade of corn in a common is an encroachment on the + constitution and rights of the gemmen highwaymen. I'm old, and may n't + live to see these things; but, mark my words, a time will come when a man + may go from Lunnun to Johnny Groat's without losing a penny by one of us; + when Hounslow will be safe, and Finchley secure. My eyes, what a sad thing + for us that'll be!” + </p> + <p> + The venerable old man became suddenly silent, and the tears started to his + eyes. Gentleman George had a great horror of blue devils, and particularly + disliked all disagreeable subjects. + </p> + <p> + “Thunder and oons, Old Bags!” quoth mine host of the Jolly Angler, “this + will never do; we're all met here to be merry, and not to listen to your + mullancolly taratarantarums. I says, Ned Pepper, s'pose you tips us a + song, and I'll beat time with my knuckles.” + </p> + <p> + Long Ned, taking the pipe from his mouth, attempted, like Walter Scott's + Lady Heron, one or two pretty excuses; these being drowned by a universal + shout, the handsome purloiner gave the following song, to the tune of + “Time has not thinned my flowing hair.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + LONG NED'S SONG. + + Oh, if my hands adhere to cash, + My gloves at least are clean, + And rarely have the gentry flash + In sprucer clothes been seen. + + Sweet Public, since your coffers must + Afford our wants relief, + Oh! soothes it not to yield the dust + To such a charming thief? +</pre> + <p> + “'And John may laugh at mine,'—excellent!” cried Gentleman George, + lighting his pipe, and winking at Attie; “I hears as how you be a famous + fellow with the lasses.” + </p> + <p> + Ned smiled and answered, “No man should boast; but—” Pepper paused + significantly, and then glancing at Attie, said, “Talking of lasses, it is + my turn to knock down a gentleman for a song, and I knock down Fighting + Attie.” + </p> + <p> + “I never sing,” said the warrior. + </p> + <p> + “Treason, treason!” cried Pepper. “It is the law, and you must obey the + law; so begin.” + </p> + <p> + “It is true, Attie,” said Gentleman George. + </p> + <p> + There was no appeal from the honest publican's fiat; so, in a quick and + laconic manner, it being Attie's favourite dogma that the least said is + the soonest mended, the warrior sung as follows:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + FIGHTING ATTIE'S SONG. + + Air: “He was famed for deeds of arms.” + + I never robbed a single coach + But with a lover's air; + And though you might my course reproach, + You never could my hair. + + Rise at six, dine at two, + Rob your man without ado, + Such my maxims; if you doubt + Their wisdom, to the right-about! +</pre> + <p> + ( Signing to a sallow gentleman on the same side of the table to send up + the brandy bowl.) + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Pass round the bingo,—of a gun, + You musty, dusky, husky son! + John Bull, who loves a harmless joke, + Is apt at me to grin; + But why be cross with laughing folk, + Unless they laugh and win? + John Bull has money in his box; + And though his wit's divine, + Yet let me laugh at Johnny's locks, + And John may laugh at mine + + [Much of whatever amusement might be occasioned by the not (we + trust) ill-natured travesties of certain eminent characters in this + part of our work when first published, like all political allusions, + loses point and becomes obscure as the applications cease to be + familiar. It is already necessary, perhaps, to say that Fighting + Attie herein typifies or illustrates the Duke of Wellington's abrupt + dismissal of Mr. Huskisson.] + + THE SALLOW GENTLEMAN (in a hoarse voice). + + Attie, the bingo's now with me; + I can't resign it yet, d' ye see! + + ATTIE (seizing the bowl). + + Resign, resign it,—cease your dust! + (Wresting it away and fiercely regarding the sallow gentleman.) + You have resigned it, and you must. + + CHORUS. + + You have resigned it, and you must. +</pre> + <p> + While the chorus, laughing at the discomfited tippler, yelled forth the + emphatic words of the heroic Attie, that personage emptied the brandy at a + draught, resumed his pipe, and in as few words as possible called on + Bagshot for a song. The excellent old highwayman, with great diffidence, + obeyed the request, cleared his throat, and struck off with a ditty + somewhat to the tune of “The Old Woman.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + OLD BAGS'S SONG. + + Are the days then gone, when on Hounslow Heath + We flashed our nags, + When the stoutest bosoms quailed beneath + The voice of Bags? + Ne'er was my work half undone, lest I should be nabbed + Slow was old Bags, but he never ceased + Till the whole was grabbed. + + CHORUS. Till the whole was grabbed. + + When the slow coach paused, and the gemmen stormed, + I bore the brunt; + And the only sound which my grave lips formed + Was “blunt,”—still “blunt”! + + Oh, those jovial days are ne'er forgot! + But the tape lags— + When I be's dead, you'll drink one pot + To poor old Bags! + + CHORUS. To poor old Bags! +</pre> + <p> + “Ay, that we will, my dear Bagshot,” cried Gentleman George, + affectionately; but observing a tear in the fine old fellow's eye, he + added: “Cheer up! What, ho! cheer up! Times will improve, and Providence + may yet send us one good year, when you shall be as well off as ever. You + shakes your poll. Well, don't be humdurgeoned, but knock down a gemman.” + </p> + <p> + Dashing away the drop of sensibility, the veteran knocked down Gentleman + George himself. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, dang it!” said George, with an air of dignity, “I ought to skip, + since I finds the lush; but howsomever here goes.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + GENTLEMAN GEORGE'S SONG. + + Air: “Old King Cole.” + + I be's the cove, the merry old cove, + Of whose max all the rufflers sing; + And a lushing cove, I thinks, by Jove, + Is as great as a sober king! + + CHORUS. Is as great as a sober king! + + Whatever the noise as is made by the boys + At the bar as they lush away, + The devil a noise my peace alloys + As long as the rascals pay! + + CHORUS. As long as the rascals pay! + + What if I sticks my stones and my bricks + With mortar I takes from the snobbish? + All who can feel for the public weal + Likes the public-house to be bobbish. + + CHORUS. Likes the public-house to be bobbish. +</pre> + <p> + “There, gemmen!” said the publican, stopping short, “that's the pith of + the matter, and split my wig but I'm short of breath now. So send round + the brandy, Augustus; you sly dog, you keeps it all to yourself.” + </p> + <p> + By this time the whole conclave were more than half-seas over, or, as + Augustus Tomlinson expressed it, “their more austere qualities were + relaxed by a pleasing and innocent indulgence.” Paul's eyes reeled, and + his tongue ran loose. By degrees the room swam round, the faces of his + comrades altered, the countenance of Old Bags assumed an awful and + menacing air. He thought Long Ned insulted him, and that Old Bags took the + part of the assailant, doubled his fist, and threatened to put the + plaintiff's nob into chancery if he disturbed the peace of the meeting. + Various other imaginary evils beset him. He thought he had robbed a + mail-coach in company with Pepper; that Tomlinson informed against him, + and that Gentleman George ordered him to be hanged; in short, he laboured + under a temporary delirium, occasioned by a sudden reverse of fortune,—from + water to brandy; and the last thing of which he retained any recollection, + before he sank under the table, in company with Long Ned, Scarlet Jem, and + Old Bags, was the bearing his part in the burden of what appeared to him a + chorus of last dying speeches and confessions, but what in reality was a + song made in honour of Gentleman George, and sung by his grateful guests + as a finale of the festivities. It ran thus:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE ROBBER'S GRAND TOAST. + + A tumbler of blue ruin, fill, fill for me! + Red tape those as likes it may drain; + But whatever the lush, it a bumper must be, + If we ne'er drinks a bumper again! + Now—now in the crib, where a ruffler may lie, + Without fear that the traps should distress him, + With a drop in the mouth, and a drop in the eye, + Here's to Gentleman George,—God bless him! + God bless him, God bless him! + Here's to Gentleman George,—God bless him! + + 'Mong the pals of the prince I have heard it's the go, + Before they have tippled enough, + To smarten their punch with the best curagoa, + More conish to render the stuff. + I boast not such lush; but whoever his glass + Does not like, I'll be hanged if I press him! + Upstanding, my kiddies,—round, round let it pass! + Here's to Gentleman George,—God bless him! + God bless him, God bless him! + Here's to Gentleman George,-God bless him! + + See, see, the fine fellow grows weak on his stumps; + Assist him, ye rascals, to stand! + Why, ye stir not a peg! Are you all in the dumps? + Fighting Attie, go, lend him a hand! +</pre> + <p> + (The robbers crowd around Gentleman George, each, under pretence of + supporting him, pulling him first one way and then another.) + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Come, lean upon me,—at your service I am! + Get away from his elbow, you whelp! him + You'll only upset,—them 'ere fellows but sham! + Here's to Gentleman George,—God help him! + God help him, God help him! + Here's to Gentleman George, God help him! +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + I boast no song in magic wonders rife; + But yet, O Nature! is there nought to prize, + Familiar in thy bosom scenes of life? + And dwells in daylight truth's salubrious skies + No form with which the soul may sympathize? + Young, innocent, on whose sweet forehead mild + The parted ringlet shone in simplest guise, + An inmate in the home of Albert smiled, + Or blessed his noonday walk,—she was his only child. + + Gertrude of Wyoming. +</pre> + <p> + O time, thou hast played strange tricks with us; and we bless the stars + that made us a novelist, and permit us now to retaliate. Leaving Paul to + the instructions of Augustus Tomlinson and the festivities of the Jolly + Angler, and suffering him, by slow but sure degrees, to acquire the graces + and the reputation of the accomplished and perfect appropriator of other + men's possessions, we shall pass over the lapse of years with the same + heedless rapidity with which they have glided over us, and summon our + reader to a very different scene from those which would be likely to greet + his eyes, were he following the adventures of our new Telemachus. Nor wilt + thou, dear reader, whom we make the umpire between ourself and those who + never read,—the critics; thou who hast, in the true spirit of gentle + breeding, gone with us among places where the novelty of the scene has, we + fear, scarcely atoned for the coarseness, not giving thyself the airs of a + dainty abigail,—not prating, lacquey-like, on the low company thou + has met,—nor wilt thou, dear and friendly reader, have cause to + dread that we shall weary thy patience by a “damnable iteration” of the + same localities. Pausing for a moment to glance over the divisions of our + story, which lies before us like a map, we feel that we may promise in + future to conduct thee among aspects of society more familiar to thy + habits; where events flow to their allotted gulf through landscapes of + more pleasing variety and among tribes of a more luxurious civilization. + </p> + <p> + Upon the banks of one of fair England's fairest rivers, and about fifty + miles distant from London, still stands an old-fashioned abode, which we + shall here term Warlock Manorhouse. It is a building of brick, varied by + stone copings, and covered in great part with ivy and jasmine. Around it + lie the ruins of the elder part of the fabric; and these are sufficiently + numerous in extent and important in appearance to testify that the mansion + was once not without pretensions to the magnificent. These remains of + power, some of which bear date as far back as the reign of Henry the + Third, are sanctioned by the character of the country immediately in the + vicinity of the old manor-house. A vast tract of waste land, interspersed + with groves of antique pollards, and here and there irregular and sinuous + ridges of green mound, betoken to the experienced eye the evidence of a + dismantled chase or park, which must originally have been of no common + dimensions. On one side of the house the lawn slopes towards the river, + divided from a terrace, which forms the most important embellishment of + the pleasure-grounds, by that fence to which has been given the ingenious + and significant name of “ha-ha!” A few scattered trees of giant growth are + the sole obstacles that break the view of the river, which has often + seemed to us, at that particular passage of its course, to glide with + unusual calmness and serenity. On the opposite side of the stream there is + a range of steep hills, celebrated for nothing more romantic than their + property of imparting to the flocks that browse upon that short and + seemingly stinted herbage a flavour peculiarly grateful to the lovers of + that pastoral animal which changes its name into mutton after its decease. + Upon these hills the vestige of human habitation is not visible; and at + times, when no boat defaces the lonely smoothness of the river, and the + evening has stilled the sounds of labour and of life, we know few scenes + so utterly tranquil, so steeped in quiet, as that which is presented by + the old, quaint-fashioned house and its antique grounds,—the smooth + lawn, the silent, and (to speak truly, though disparagingly) the somewhat + sluggish river, together with the large hills (to which we know, from + simple though metaphysical causes, how entire an idea of quiet and + immovability peculiarly attaches itself), and the white flocks,—those + most peaceful of God's creatures,—that in fleecy clusters stud the + ascent. + </p> + <p> + In Warlock House, at the time we refer to, lived a gentleman of the name + of Brandon. He was a widower, and had attained his fiftieth year without + casting much regret on the past or feeling much anxiety for the future. In + a word, Joseph Brandon was one of those careless, quiescent, indifferent + men, by whom a thought upon any subject is never recurred to without a + very urgent necessity. He was good-natured, inoffensive, and weak; and if + he was not an incomparable citizen, he was at least an excellent + vegetable. He was of a family of high antiquity, and formerly of + considerable note. For the last four or five generations, however, the + proprietors of Warlock House, gradually losing something alike from their + acres and their consequence, had left to their descendants no higher rank + than that of a small country squire. One had been a Jacobite, and had + drunk out half-a-dozen farms in honour of Charley over the water; Charley + over the water was no very dangerous person, but Charley over the wine was + rather more ruinous. The next Brandon had been a fox-hunter, and + fox-hunters live as largely as patriotic politicians. Pausanias tells us + that the same people; who were the most notorious for their love of wine + were also the most notorious for their negligence of affairs. Times are + not much altered since Pausanias wrote, and the remark holds as good with + the English as it did with the Phigalei. After this Brandon came one who, + though he did not scorn the sportsman, rather assumed the fine gentleman. + He married an heiress, who of course assisted to ruin him; wishing no + assistance in so pleasing an occupation, he overturned her (perhaps not on + purpose), in a new sort of carriage which he was learning to drive, and + the good lady was killed on the spot. She left the fine gentleman two + sons,—Joseph Brandon, the present thane,—and a brother some + years younger. The elder, being of a fitting age, was sent to school, and + somewhat escaped the contagion of the paternal mansion. But the younger + Brandon, having only reached his fifth year at the time of his mother's + decease, was retained at home. Whether he was handsome or clever or + impertinent, or like his father about the eyes (that greatest of all + merits), we know not; but the widower became so fond of him that it was at + a late period and with great reluctance that he finally intrusted him to + the providence of a school. + </p> + <p> + Among harlots and gamblers and lords and sharpers, and gentlemen of the + guards, together with their frequent accompaniments,—guards of the + gentlemen, namely, bailiffs,—William Brandon passed the first stage + of his boyhood. He was about thirteen when he was sent to school; and + being a boy of remarkable talents, he recovered lost time so well that + when at the age of nineteen he adjourned to the University, he had + scarcely resided there a single term before he had borne off two of the + highest prizes awarded to academical merit. From the University he + departed on the “grand tour,” at that time thought so necessary to + complete the gentleman; he went in company with a young nobleman, whose + friendship he had won at the University, stayed abroad more than two + years, and on his return he settled down to the profession of the law. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile his father died, and his fortune, as a younger brother, being + literally next to nothing, and the family estate (for his brother was not + unwilling to assist him) being terribly involved, it was believed that he + struggled for some years with very embarrassed and penurious + circumstances. During this interval of his life, however, he was absent + from London, and by his brother supposed to have returned to the + Continent; at length, it seems, he profited by a renewal of his friendship + with the young nobleman who had accompanied him abroad, reappeared in + town, and obtained through his noble friend one or two legal appointments + of reputable emolument. Soon afterwards he got a brief on some cause where + a major had been raising a corps to his brother officer, with the better + consent of the brother-officer's wife than of the brother officer himself. + Brandon's abilities here, for the first time in his profession, found an + adequate vent; his reputation seemed made at once, he rose rapidly in his + profession, and, at the time we now speak of, he was sailing down the full + tide of fame and wealth, the envy and the oracle of all young Templars and + barristers, who, having been starved themselves for ten years, began now + to calculate on the possibility of starving their clients. At an early + period in his career he had, through the good offices of the nobleman we + have mentioned, obtained a seat in the House of Commons; and though his + eloquence was of an order much better suited to the bar than the senate, + he had nevertheless acquired a very considerable reputation in the latter, + and was looked upon by many as likely to win to the same brilliant + fortunes as the courtly Mansfield,—a great man, whose political + principles and urbane address Brandon was supposed especially to affect as + his own model. Of unblemished integrity in public life,—for, as he + supported all things that exist with the most unbending rigidity, he could + not be accused of inconsistency,—William Brandon was (as we have + said in a former place of unhappy memory to our hero) esteemed in private + life the most honourable, the most moral, even the most austere of men; + and his grave and stern repute on this score, joined to the dazzle of his + eloquence and forensic powers, had baffled in great measure the rancour of + party hostility, and obtained for him a character for virtues almost as + high and as enviable as that which he had acquired for abilities. + </p> + <p> + While William was thus treading a noted and an honourable career, his + elder brother, who had married into a clergyman's family, and soon lost + his consort, had with his only child, a daughter named Lucy, resided in + his paternal mansion in undisturbed obscurity. The discreditable character + and habits of the preceding lords of Warlock, which had sunk their + respectability in the county as well as curtailed their property, had + rendered the surrounding gentry little anxious to cultivate the intimacy + of the present proprietor; and the heavy mind and retired manners of + Joseph Brandon were not calculated to counterbalance the faults of his + forefathers, nor to reinstate the name of Brandon in its ancient + popularity and esteem. Though dull and little cultivated, the squire was + not without his “proper pride;” he attempted not to intrude himself where + he was unwelcome, avoided county meetings and county balls, smoked his + pipe with the parson, and not unoften with the surgeon and the solicitor, + and suffered his daughter Lucy to educate herself with the help of the + parson's wife, and to ripen (for Nature was more favourable to her than + Art) into the very prettiest girl that the whole county—we long to + say the whole country—at that time could boast of. Never did glass + give back a more lovely image than that of Lucy Brandon at the age of + nineteen. Her auburn hair fell in the richest luxuriance over a brow never + ruffled, and a cheek where the blood never slept; with every instant the + colour varied, and at every variation that smooth, pure; virgin cheek + seemed still more lovely than before. She had the most beautiful laugh + that one who loved music could imagine,—silvery, low, and yet so + full of joy! All her movements, as the old parson said, seemed to keep + time to that laugh, for mirth made a great part of her innocent and + childish temper; and yet the mirth was feminine, never loud, nor like that + of young ladies who had received the last finish at Highgate seminaries. + Everything joyous affected her, and at once,—air, flowers, sunshine, + butterflies. Unlike heroines in general, she very seldom cried, and she + saw nothing charming in having the vapours. But she never looked so + beautiful as in sleep; and as the light breath came from her parted lips, + and the ivory lids closed over those eyes which only in sleep were silent,—and + her attitude in her sleep took that ineffable grace belonging solely to + childhood, or the fresh youth into which childhood merges,—she was + just what you might imagine a sleeping Margaret, before that most simple + and gentle of all a poet's visions of womanhood had met with Faust, or her + slumbers been ruffled with a dream of love. + </p> + <p> + We cannot say much for Lucy's intellectual acquirements; she could, thanks + to the parson's wife, spell indifferently well, and write a tolerable + hand; she made preserves, and sometimes riddles,—it was more + difficult to question the excellence of the former than to answer the + queries of the latter. She worked to the admiration of all who knew her, + and we beg leave to say that we deem that “an excellent thing in woman.” + She made caps for herself and gowns for the poor, and now and then she + accomplished the more literary labour of a stray novel that had wandered + down to the Manorhouse, or an abridgment of ancient history, in which was + omitted everything but the proper names. To these attainments she added a + certain modicum of skill upon the spinet, and the power of singing old + songs with the richest and sweetest voice that ever made one's eyes + moisten or one's heart beat. + </p> + <p> + Her moral qualities were more fully developed than her mental. She was the + kindest of human beings; the very dog that had never seen her before knew + that truth at the first glance, and lost no time in making her + acquaintance. The goodness of her heart reposed upon her face like + sunshine, and the old wife at the lodge said poetically and truly of the + effect it produced, that “one felt warm when one looked on her.” If we + could abstract from the description a certain chilling transparency, the + following exquisite verses of a forgotten poet might express the purity + and lustre of her countenance:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Her face was like the milky way i' the sky, + A meeting of gentle lights without a name.” + </pre> + <p> + She was surrounded by pets of all kinds, ugly and handsome,—from + Ralph the raven to Beauty the pheasant, and from Bob, the sheep-dog + without a tail, to Beau, the Blenheim with blue ribbons round his neck; + all things loved her, and she loved all things. It seemed doubtful at that + time whether she would ever have sufficient steadiness and strength of + character. Her beauty and her character appeared so essentially womanlike—soft + yet lively, buoyant yet caressing—that you could scarcely place in + her that moral dependence that you might in a character less amiable but + less yieldingly feminine. Time, however, and circumstance, which alter and + harden, were to decide whether the inward nature did not possess some + latent and yet undiscovered properties. Such was Lucy Brandon in the year + ——; and in that year, on a beautiful autumnal evening, we + first introduce her personally to our readers. + </p> + <p> + She was sitting on a garden-seat by the river side, with her father, who + was deliberately conning the evening paper of a former week, and gravely + seasoning the ancient news with the inspirations of that weed which so + bitterly excited the royal indignation of our British Solomon. It happens, + unfortunately for us,—for outward peculiarities are scarcely worthy + the dignity to which comedy, whether in the drama or the narrative, + aspires,—that Squire Brandon possessed so few distinguishing traits + of mind that he leaves his delineator little whereby to designate him, + save a confused and parenthetical habit of speech, by which he very often + appeared to those who did not profit by long experience or close + observation, to say exactly, and somewhat ludicrously, that which he did + not mean to convey. + </p> + <p> + “I say, Lucy,” observed Mr. Brandon, but without lifting his eyes from the + paper,—“I say, corn has fallen; think of that, girl, think of that! + These times, in my opinion (ay, and in the opinion of wiser heads than + mine, though I do not mean to say that I have not some experience in these + matters, which is more than can be said of all our neighbours), are very + curious and even dangerous.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, Papa!” answered Lucy. + </p> + <p> + “And I say, Lucy, dear,” resumed the squire, after a short pause, “there + has been (and very strange it is, too, when one considers the crowded + neighbourhood—Bless me! what times these are!) a shocking murder + committed upon (the tobacco stopper,—there it is)—think, you + know, girl,—just by Epping!—an old gentleman!” + </p> + <p> + “Dear, how shocking! By whom?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, that's the question! The coroner's inquest has (what a blessing it is + to live in a civilized country, where a man does not die without knowing + the why and the wherefore!) sat on the body, and declared (it is very + strange, but they don't seem to have made much discovery; for why? we knew + as much before) that the body was found (it was found on the floor, Lucy) + murdered; murderer or murderers (in the bureau, which was broken open, + they found the money left quite untouched) unknown!” + </p> + <p> + Here there was again a slight pause; and passing to another side of the + paper, Mr. Brandon resumed, in a quicker tone,—“Ha! well, now this + is odd! But he's a deuced clever fellow, Lucy! That brother of mine has + (and in a very honourable manner, too, which I am sure is highly + creditable to the family, though he has not taken too much notice of me + lately,—a circumstance which, considering I am his elder brother, I + am a little angry at) distinguished himself in a speech, remarkable, the + paper says, for its great legal (I wonder, by the by, whether William + could get me that agistment-money! 't is a heavy thing to lose; but going + to law, as my poor father used to say, is like fishing for gudgeons [not a + bad little fish; we can have some for supper] with, guineas) knowledge, as + well as its splendid and overpowering (I do love Will for keeping up the + family honour; I am sure it is more than I have done, heigh-ho!), + eloquence!” + </p> + <p> + “And on what subject has he been speaking, Papa?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, a very fine subject; what you call a (it is astonishing that in this + country there should be such a wish for taking away people's characters, + which, for my part, I don't see is a bit more entertaining than what you + are always doing,—playing with those stupid birds) libel!” + </p> + <p> + “But is not my uncle William coming down to see us? He promised to do so, + and it made you quite happy—, Papa, for two days. I hope he will not + disappoint you; and I am sure that it is not his fault if he ever seems to + neglect you. He spoke of you to me, when I saw him, in the kindest and + most affectionate manner. I do think, my dear father, that he loves you + very much.” + </p> + <p> + “Ahem!” said the squire, evidently flattered, and yet not convinced. “My + brother Will is a very acute fellow, and I make no—my dear little + girl—question, but that (when you have seen as much of the world as + I have, you will grow suspicious) he thought that any good word said of me + to my daughter would (you see, Lucy, I am as clear-sighted as my + neighbours, though I don't give myself all their airs; which I very well + might do, considering my great-great-great-grandfather, Hugo Brandon, had + a hand in detecting the gunpowder plot) he told to me again!” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, but I am quite sure my uncle never spoke of you to me with that + intention.” + </p> + <p> + “Possibly, my dear child; but when (the evenings are much shorter than + they were!) did you talk with your uncle about me? + </p> + <p> + “Oh, when staying with Mrs. Warner, in London; to be sure, it is six years + ago, but I remember it perfectly. I recollect, in particular, that he + spoke of you very handsomely to Lord Mauleverer, who dined with him one + evening when I was there, and when my uncle was so kind as to take me to + the play. I was afterwards quite sorry that he was so good-natured, as he + lost (you remember I told you the story) a very valuable watch.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, ay, I remember all about that, and so (how long friendship lasts with + some people!) Lord Mauleverer dined with William! What a fine thing it is + for a man (it is what I never did, indeed; I like being what they call + 'Cock of the Walk'—let me see, now I think of it, Pillum comes + to-night to play a hit at backgammon) to make friends with a great man + early in (yet Will did not do it very early, poor fellow! He struggled + first with a great deal of sorrow—hardship, that is) life! It is + many years now since Will has been hand-and-glove with my ('t is a bit of + a puppy) Lord Mauleverer. What did you think of his lordship?” + </p> + <p> + “Of Lord Mauleverer? Indeed I scarcely observed him; but he seemed a + handsome man, and was very polite. Mrs. Warner said he had been a very + wicked person when he was young, but he seems good-natured enough now, + Papa.” + </p> + <p> + “By the by,” said the squire, “his lordship has just been made (this new + ministry seems very unlike the old, which rather puzzles me; for I think + it my duty, d'ye see, Lucy, always to vote for his Majesty's government, + especially seeing that old Hugo Brandon had a hand in detecting the gun + powder plot; and it is a little odd-at least, at first-to think that good + now which one has always before been thinking abominable) Lord Lieutenant + of the county.” + </p> + <p> + “Lord Mauleverer our Lord Lieutenant?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, child; and since his lordship is such a friend of my brother, I + should think, considering especially what an old family in the county we + are,—not that I wish to intrude myself where I am not thought as + fine as the rest,—that he would be more attentive to us than Lord + ———— was; but that, my dear Lucy, puts me in mind + of Pillum; and so, perhaps, you would like to walk to the parson's, as it + is a fine evening. John shall come for you at nine o'clock with (the moon + is not up then) the lantern.” + </p> + <p> + Leaning on his daughter's willing arm, the good old man then rose and + walked homeward; and so soon as she had wheeled round his easy-chair, + placed the backgammon board on the table, and wished the old gentleman an + easy victory over his expected antagonist, the apothecary, Lucy tied down + her bonnet, and took her way to the rectory. + </p> + <p> + When she arrived at the clerical mansion and entered the drawing-room, she + was surprised to find the parson's wife, a good, homely, lethargic old + lady, run up to her, seemingly in a state of great nervous agitation and + crying,— + </p> + <p> + “Oh, my dear Miss Brandon! which way did you come? Did you meet nobody by + the road? Oh, I am so frightened! Such an accident to poor dear Dr. + Slopperton! Stopped in the king's highway, robbed of some tithe-money he + had just received from Farmer Slowforth! If it had not been for that dear + angel, good young man, God only knows whether I might not have been a + disconsolate widow by this time!” + </p> + <p> + While the affectionate matron was thus running on, Lucy's eye glancing + round the room discovered in an armchair the round and oily little person + of Dr. Slopperton, with a countenance from which all the carnation hues, + save in one circular excrescence on the nasal member, that was left, like + the last rose of summer, blooming alone, were faded into an aspect of + miserable pallor. The little man tried to conjure up a smile while his + wife was narrating his misfortune, and to mutter forth some syllable of + unconcern; but he looked, for all his bravado, so exceedingly scared that + Lucy would, despite herself, have laughed outright, had not her eye rested + upon the figure of a young man who had been seated beside the reverend + gentleman, but who had risen at Lucy's entrance, and who now stood gazing + upon her intently, but with an air of great respect. Blushing deeply and + involuntarily, she turned her eyes hastily away, and approaching the good + doctor, made her inquiries into the present state of his nerves, in a + graver tone than she had a minute before imagined it possible that she + should have been enabled to command. + </p> + <p> + “Ah! my good young lady,” said the doctor, squeezing her hand, “I—may, + I may say the church—for am I not its minister? was in imminent + danger—but this excellent gentleman prevented the sacrilege, at + least in great measure. I only lost some of my dues,—my rightful + dues,—for which I console myself with thinking that the infamous and + abandoned villain will suffer hereafter.” + </p> + <p> + “There cannot be the least doubt of that,” said the young man. “Had he + only robbed the mail-coach, or broken into a gentleman's house, the + offence might have been expiable; but to rob a clergyman, and a rector + too!—Oh, the sacrilegious dog!” + </p> + <p> + “Your warmth does you honour, sir,” said the doctor, beginning now to + recover; “and I am very proud to have made the acquaintance of a gentleman + of such truly religious opinions.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” cried the stranger, “my foible, sir,—if I may so speak,—is + a sort of enthusiastic fervour for the Protestant Establishment. Nay, sir, + I never come across the very nave of the church without feeling an + indescribable emotion—a kind of sympathy, as it were—with—with—you + understand me, sir—I fear I express myself ill.” + </p> + <p> + “Not at all, not at all!” exclaimed the doctor: “such sentiments are + uncommon in one so young.” + </p> + <p> + “Sir, I learned them early in life from a friend and preceptor of mine, + Mr. MacGrawler, and I trust they may continue with me to my dying day.” + </p> + <p> + Here the doctor's servant entered with (we borrow a phrase from the novel + of —————) “the tea-equipage;” and Mrs. + Slopperton, betaking herself to its superintendence, inquired with more + composure than hitherto had belonged to her demeanour, what sort of a + looking creature the ruffian was. + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you, my dear, I will tell you, Miss Lucy, all about it. I was + walking home from Mr. Slowforth's, with his money in my pocket, thinking, + my love, of buying you that topaz cross you wished to have.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear, good man!” cried Mrs. Slopperton; “what a fiend it must have been + to rob so excellent a creature!” + </p> + <p> + “And,” resumed the doctor, “it also occurred to me that the Madeira was + nearly out,—the Madeira, I mean, with the red seal; and I was + thinking it might not be amiss to devote part of the money to buy six + dozen more; and the remainder, my love, which would be about one pound + eighteen, I thought I would divide—'for he that giveth to the poor + lendeth to the Lord!'—among the thirty poor families on the common; + that is, if they behaved well, and the apples in the back garden were not + feloniously abstracted!” + </p> + <p> + “Excellent, charitable man!” ejaculated Mrs. Slopperton. “While I was thus + meditating, I lifted my eyes, and saw before me two men,—one of + prodigious height, and with a great profusion of hair about his shoulders; + the other was smaller, and wore his hat slouched over his face: it was a + very large hat. My attention was arrested by the singularity of the tall + person's hair, and while I was smiling at its luxuriance, I heard him say + to his companion, 'Well, Augustus, as you are such a moral dog, he is in + your line, not mine; so I leave him to you.' Little did I think those + words related to me. No sooner were they uttered than the tall rascal + leaped over a gate and disappeared; the other fellow, then marching up to + me, very smoothly asked me the way to the church, and while I was + explaining to him to turn first to the right and then to the left, and so + on,—for the best way is, you know, exceedingly crooked,—the + hypocritical scoundrel seized me by the collar, and cried out, 'Your money + or your life!' I do assure you that I never trembled so much,—not, + my dear Miss Lucy, so much for my own sake, as for the sake of the thirty + poor families on the common, whose wants it had been my intention to + relieve. I gave up the money, finding my prayers and expostulations were + in vain; and the dog then, brandishing over my head an enormous bludgeon, + said—what abominable language!—'I think, doctor, I shall put + an end to an existence derogatory to your self and useless to others.' At + that moment the young gentleman beside me sprang over the very gate by + which the tall ruffian had disappeared, and cried, 'Hold, villain!' On + seeing my deliverer, the coward started back, and plunged into a + neighbouring wood. The good young gentleman pursued him for a few minutes, + but then returning to my aid, conducted me home; and as we used to say at + school,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “' Te rediisse incolumem gaudeo,'— +</pre> + <p> + which, being interpreted, means (sir, excuse a pun, I am sure so great a + friend to the Church understands Latin) that I am very glad to get back + safe to my tea. He! he! And now, Miss Lucy, you must thank that young + gentleman for having saved the life of your pastoral teacher, which act + will no doubt be remembered at the Great Day!” + </p> + <p> + As Lucy, looking towards the stranger, said something in compliment, she + observed a vague, and as it were covert smile upon his countenance, which + immediately and as if by sympathy conjured one to her own. The hero of the + adventure, however, in a very grave tone replied to her compliment, at the + same time bowing profoundly,— + </p> + <p> + “Mention it not, madam! I were unworthy of the name of a Briton and a man, + could I pass the highway without relieving the distress or lightening the + burden of a fellow-creature. And,” continued the stranger, after a + momentary pause, colouring while he spoke, and concluding in the + high-flown gallantry of the day, “methinks it were sufficient reward, had + I saved the whole church instead of one of its most valuable members, to + receive the thanks of a lady whom I might reasonably take for one of those + celestial beings to whom we have been piously taught that the Church is + especially the care!” + </p> + <p> + Though there might have been something really ridiculous in this + overstrained compliment, coupled as it was with the preservation of Dr. + Slopperton, yet, coming from the mouth of one whom Lucy thought the very + handsomest person she had ever seen, it appeared to her anything but + absurd; and for a very long time afterwards her heart thrilled with + pleasure when she remembered that the cheek of the speaker had glowed, and + his voice had trembled as he spoke it. + </p> + <p> + The conversation now, turning from robbers in particular, dwelt upon + robberies in general. It was edifying to hear the honest indignation with + which the stranger spoke of the lawless depredators with whom the country, + in that day of Macheaths, was infested. + </p> + <p> + “A pack of infamous rascals!” said he, in a glow, “who attempt to justify + their misdeeds by the example of honest men, and who say that they do no + more than is done by lawyers and doctors, soldiers, clergymen, and + ministers of State. Pitiful delusion, or rather shameless hypocrisy!” + </p> + <p> + “It all comes of educating the poor,” said the doctor. “The moment they + pretend to judge the conduct of their betters, there's an end of all + order! They see nothing sacred in the laws, though we hang the dogs ever + so fast; and the very peers of the land, spiritual and temporal, cease to + be venerable in their eyes.” + </p> + <p> + “Talking of peers,” said Mrs. Slopperton, “I hear that Lord Mauleverer is + to pass by this road to-night on his way to Mauleverer Park. Do you know + his lordship, Miss Lucy: He is very intimate with your uncle.” + </p> + <p> + “I have only seen him once,” answered Lucy. + </p> + <p> + “Are you sure that his lordship will come this road?” asked the stranger, + carelessly. “I heard something of it this morning, but did not know it was + settled.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, quite so!” rejoined Mrs. Slopperton. “His lordship's gentleman wrote + for post-horses to meet his lordship at Wyburn, about three miles on the + other side of the village, at ten o'clock to-night. His lordship is very + impatient of delay.” + </p> + <p> + “Pray,” said the doctor, who had not much heeded this turn in the + conversation, and was now “on hospitable cares intent,”—“pray, sir, + if not impertinent, are you visiting or lodging in the neighbourhood; or + will you take a bed with us?” + </p> + <p> + “You are extremely kind, my dear sir, but I fear I must soon wish you + good-evening. I have to look after a little property I have some miles + hence, which, indeed, brought me down into this part of the world.” + </p> + <p> + “Property!—in what direction, sir, if I may ask?” quoth the doctor; + “I know the country for miles.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you, indeed? Where's my property, you say? Why, it is rather difficult + to describe it, and it is, after all, a mere trifle; it is only some + common-land near the highroad, and I came down to try the experiment of + hedging and draining.” + </p> + <p> + “'T is a good plan, if one has capital, and does not require a speedy + return.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes; but one likes a good interest for the loss of principal, and a + speedy return is always desirable,—although, alas! it is often + attended with risk!” + </p> + <p> + “I hope, sir,” said the doctor, “if you must leave us so soon, that your + property will often bring you into our neighbourhood.” + </p> + <p> + “You overpower me with so much unexpected goodness,” answered the + stranger. “To tell you the truth, nothing can give me greater pleasure + than to meet those again who have once obliged me.” + </p> + <p> + “Whom you have obliged, rather!” cried Mrs. Slopperton; and then added, in + a loud whisper to Lucy, “How modest! but it is always so with true + courage!” + </p> + <p> + “I assure you, madam,” returned the benevolent stranger, “that I never + think twice of the little favours I render my fellow-men; my only hope is + that they may be as forgetful as myself.” + </p> + <p> + Charmed with so much unaffected goodness of disposition, the doctor and + Mrs. Slopperton now set up a sort of duet in praise of their guest: after + enduring their commendations and compliments for some minutes with much + grimace of disavowal and diffidence, the stranger's modesty seemed at last + to take pain at the excess of their gratitude; and accordingly, pointing + to the clock, which was within a few minutes to nine, he said,— + </p> + <p> + “I fear, my respected host and my admired hostess, that I must now leave + you; I have far to go.” + </p> + <p> + “But are you yourself not afraid of the highwaymen?” cried Mrs. + Slopperton, interrupting him. + </p> + <p> + “The highwaymen!” said the stranger, smiling; “no; I do not fear them; + besides, I have little about me worth robbing.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you superintend your property yourself?” said the doctor, who farmed + his own glebe and who, unwilling to part with so charming a guest, seized + him now by the button. + </p> + <p> + “Superintend it myself! why, not exactly. There is a bailiff, whose views + of things don't agree with mine, and who now and then gives me a good deal + of trouble.” + </p> + <p> + “Then why don't you discharge him altogether?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! I wish I could; but 't is a necessary evil. We landed proprietors, my + dear sir, must always be plagued with some thing of the sort. For my part, + I have found those cursed bailiffs would take away, if they could, all the + little property one has been trying to accumulate. But,” abruptly changing + his manner into one of great softness, “could I not proffer my services + and my companionship to this young lady? Would she allow me to conduct her + home, and indeed stamp this day upon my memory as one of the few + delightful ones I have ever known?” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you, dear sir,” said Mrs. Slopperton, answering at once for Lucy; + “it is very considerate of you.—And I am sure, my love, I could not + think of letting you go home alone with old John, after such an adventure + to the poor dear doctor.” + </p> + <p> + Lucy began an excuse which the good lady would not hear. But as the + servant whom Mr. Brandon was to send with a lantern to attend his daughter + home had not arrived, and as Mrs. Slopperton, despite her prepossessions + in favour of her husband's deliverer, did not for a moment contemplate his + accompanying, without any other attendance, her young friend across the + fields at that unseasonable hour, the stranger was forced, for the + present, to re-assume his seat. An open harpsichord at one end of the room + gave him an opportunity to make some remark upon music; and this + introducing an eulogium on Lucy's voice from Mrs. Slopperton, necessarily + ended in a request to Miss Brandon to indulge the stranger with a song. + Never had Lucy, who was not a shy girl,—she was too innocent to be + bashful,—felt nervous hitherto in singing before a stranger; but now + she hesitated and faltered, and went through a whole series of little + natural affectations before she complied with the request. She chose a + song composed somewhat after the old English school, which at that time + was reviving into fashion. The song, though conveying a sort of conceit, + was not, perhaps, altogether without tenderness; it was a favourite with + Lucy, she scarcely knew why, and ran thus:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + LUCY'S SONG. + + Why sleep, ye gentle flowers, ah, why, + When tender eve is falling, + And starlight drinks the happy sigh + Of winds to fairies calling? + Calling with low and plaining note, + Most like a ringdove chiding, + Or flute faint-heard from distant boat + O'er smoothest waters gliding. + Lo, round you steals the wooing breeze; + Lo, on you falls the dew! + O sweets, awake, for scarcely these + Can charm while wanting you! + Wake ye not yet, while fast below + The silver time is fleeing? + O heart of mine, those flowers but show + Thine own contented being. + The twilight but preserves the bloom, + The sun can but decay + The warmth that brings the rich perfume + But steals the life away. + O heart, enjoy thy present calm, + Rest peaceful in the shade, + And dread the sun that gives the balm + To bid the blossom fade. +</pre> + <p> + When Lucy ended, the stranger's praise was less loud than either the + doctor's or his lady's; but how far more sweet it was! And for the first + time in her life Lucy made the discovery that eyes can praise as well as + lips. For our part, we have often thought that that discovery is an epoch + in life. + </p> + <p> + It was now that Mrs. Slopperton declared her thorough conviction that the + stranger himself could sing. He had that about him, she said, which made + her sure of it. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, dear madam,” said he, with his usual undefinable, half-frank, + half-latent smile, “my voice is but so-so, and any memory so indifferent + that even in the easiest passages I soon come to a stand. My best notes + are in the falsetto; and as for my execution—But we won't talk of + that.” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, nay; you are so modest,” said Mrs. Slopperton. “I am sure you could + oblige us if you would.” + </p> + <p> + “Your command,” said the stranger, moving to the harpsichord, “is + all-sufficient; and since you, madam,” turning to Lucy, “have chosen a + song after the old school, may I find pardon if I do the same? My + selection is, to be sure, from a lawless song-book, and is supposed to be + a ballad by Robin Hood, or at least one of his merry men,—a very + different sort of outlaws from the knaves who attacked you, sir!” + </p> + <p> + With this preface the stranger sung to a wild yet jovial air, with a + tolerable voice, the following effusion: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE LOVE OF OUR PROFESSION; OR THE ROBBER'S LIFE. + + On the stream of the world, the robber's life + Is borne on the blithest wave; + Now it bounds into light in a gladsome strife, + Now it laughs in its hiding cave. + + At his maiden's lattice he stays the rein; + How still is his courser proud + (But still as a wind when it hangs o'er the main + In the breast of the boding cloud), + + With the champed bit and the archd crest, + And the eye of a listening deer, + Like valour, fretful most in rest, + Least chafed when in career. + + Fit slave to a lord whom all else refuse + To save at his desperate need; + By my troth! I think one whom the world pursues + Hath a right to a gallant steed. + + “Away, my beloved, I hear their feet! + I blow thee a kiss, my fair, + And I promise to bring thee, when next we meet, + A braid for thy bonny hair. + + Hurrah! for the booty!—my steed, hurrah! + Thorough bush, thorough brake, go we; + And the coy moon smiles on our merry way, + Like my own love,—timidly.” + + The parson he rides with a jingling pouch, + How it blabs of the rifled poor! + The courtier he lolls in his gilded coach, + —How it smacks of a sinecure! + + The lawyer revolves in his whirling chaise + Sweet thoughts of a mischief done; + And the lady that knoweth the card she plays + Is counting her guineas won! + + “He, lady!—What, holla, ye sinless men! + My claim ye can scarce refuse; + For when honest folk live on their neighbours, then + They encroach on the robber's dues!” + + The lady changed cheek like a bashful maid, + The lawyer talked wondrous fair, + The parson blasphemed, and the courtier prayed, + And the robber bore off his share. + + “Hurrah! for the revel! my steed, hurrah! + Thorough bush, thorough brake, go we! + It is ever a virtue, when others pay, + + To ruffle it merrily!” + + Oh, there never was life like the robber's, + —so Jolly and bold and free! + And its end-why, a cheer from the crowd below, + And a leap from a leafless tree! +</pre> + <p> + This very moral lay being ended, Mrs. Slopperton declared it was + excellent; though she confessed she thought the sentiments rather loose. + Perhaps the gentleman might be induced to favour them with a song of a + more refined and modern turn,—something sentimental, in short. + Glancing towards Lucy, the stranger answered that he only knew one song of + the kind Mrs. Slopperton specified, and it was so short that he could + scarcely weary her patience by granting her request. + </p> + <p> + At this moment the river, which was easily descried from the windows of + the room, glimmered in the starlight; and directing his looks towards the + water, as if the scene had suggested to him the verses he sung, he gave + the following stanzas in a very low, sweet tone, and with a far purer + taste, than, perhaps, would have suited the preceding and ruder song. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE WISH. + + As sleeps the dreaming Eve below, + Its holiest star keeps ward above, + And yonder wave begins to glow, + Like friendship bright'ning into Love! + + Ah, would thy bosom were that stream, + Ne'er wooed save by the virgin air!— + Ah, would that I were that star, whose beam + Looks down and finds its image there! +</pre> + <p> + Scarcely was the song ended, before the arrival of Miss Brandon's servant + was announced; and her destined escort, starting up, gallantly assisted + her with her cloak and her hood,—happy, no doubt, to escape in some + measure the overwhelming compliments of his entertainers. + </p> + <p> + “But,” said the doctor, as he shook hands with his deliverer, “by what + name shall I remember and” (lifting his reverend eyes) “pray for the + gentleman to whom I am so much indebted?” + </p> + <p> + “You are very kind,” said the stranger; “my name is Clifford. Madam,” + turning to Lucy, “may I offer my hand down the stairs?” + </p> + <p> + Lucy accepted the courtesy; and the stranger was half-way down the + staircase, when the doctor, stretching out his little neck, exclaimed,— + </p> + <p> + “Good-evening, sir! I do hope we shall meet again.” + </p> + <p> + “Fear not!” said Mr. Clifford, laughing gayly; “I am too great a traveller + to make that hope a matter of impossibility. Take care, madam,—one + step more.” + </p> + <p> + The night was calm and tolerably clear, though the moon had not yet risen, + as Lucy and her companion passed through the fields, with the servant + preceding them at a little distance with the lantern. + </p> + <p> + After a pause of some length, Clifford said, with a little hesitation, “Is + Miss Brandon related to the celebrated barrister of her name?” + </p> + <p> + “He is my uncle,” said Lucy; “do you know him?” + </p> + <p> + “Only your uncle?” said Clifford, with vivacity, and evading Lucy's + question. “I feared—hem! hem!—that is, I thought he might have + been a nearer relation.” There was another, but a shorter pause, when + Clifford resumed, in a low voice: “Will Miss Brandon think me very + presumptuous if I say that a countenance like hers, once seen, can never + be forgotten; and I believe, some years since, I had the honour to see her + in London, at the theatre? It was but a momentary and distant glance that + I was then enabled to gain; and yet,” he added significantly, “it + sufficed!” + </p> + <p> + “I was only once at the theatre while in London, some years ago,” said + Lucy, a little embarrassed; “and indeed an unpleasant occurrence which + happened to my uncle, with whom I was, is sufficient to make me remember + it.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha! and what was it?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, in going out of the play-house his watch was stolen by some + dexterous pickpocket.” + </p> + <p> + “Was the rogue caught?” asked the stranger. + </p> + <p> + “Yes; and was sent the next day to Bridewell. My uncle said he was + extremely young, and yet quite hardened. I remember that I was foolish + enough, when I heard of his sentence, to beg very hard that my uncle would + intercede for him; but in vain.” + </p> + <p> + “Did you, indeed, intercede for him?” said the stranger, in so earnest a + tone that Lucy coloured for the twentieth time that night, without seeing + any necessity for the blush. Clifford continued, in a gayer tone: “Well, + it is surprising how rogues hang together. I should not be greatly + surprised if the person who despoiled your uncle were one of the same gang + as the rascal who so terrified your worthy friend the doctor. But is this + handsome old place your home?” + </p> + <p> + “This is my home,” answered Lucy; “but it is an old-fashioned, strange + place; and few people, to whom it was not endeared by associations, would + think it handsome.” + </p> + <p> + “Pardon me!” said Lucy's companion, stopping, and surveying with a look of + great interest the quaint pile, which now stood close before them; its + dark bricks, gable-ends, and ivied walls, tinged by the starry light of + the skies, and contrasted by the river, which rolled in silence below. The + shutters to the large oriel window of the room in which the squire usually + sat were still unclosed, and the steady and warm light of the apartment + shone forth, casting a glow even to the smooth waters of the river; at the + same moment, too, the friendly bark of the house-dog was heard, as in + welcome; and was followed by the note of the great bell, announcing the + hour for the last meal of the old-fashioned and hospitable family. + </p> + <p> + “There is a pleasure in this,” said the stranger, unconsciously, and with + a half-sigh; “I wish I had a home!” + </p> + <p> + “And have you not a home?” said Lucy, with naivety. “As much as a bachelor + can have, perhaps,” answered Clifford, recovering without an effort his + gayety and self-possession. “But you know we wanderers are not allowed the + same boast as the more fortunate Benedicts; we send our hearts in search + of a home, and we lose the one without gaining the other. But I keep you + in the cold, and we are now at your door.” + </p> + <p> + “You will come in, of course!” said Miss Brandon, “and partake of our + evening cheer.” + </p> + <p> + The stranger hesitated for an instant, and then said in a quick tone,— + </p> + <p> + “No! many, many thanks; it is already late. Will Miss Brandon accept my + gratitude for her condescension in permitting the attendance of one + unknown to her?” As he thus spoke, Clifford bowed profoundly over the hand + of his beautiful charge; and Lucy, wishing him good-night, hastened with a + light step to her father's side. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile Clifford, after lingering a minute, when the door was closed on + him, turned abruptly away; and muttering to himself, repaired with rapid + steps to whatever object he had then in view. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Up rouse ye then, + My merry, merry men! + —JOANNA BAILLIE. +</pre> + <p> + When the moon rose that night, there was one spot upon which she palely + broke, about ten miles distant from Warlock, which the forewarned + traveller would not have been eager to pass, but which might not have + afforded a bad study to such artists as have caught from the savage + painter of the Apennines a love for the wild and the adventurous. Dark + trees, scattered far and wide over a broken but verdant sward, made the + background; the moon shimmered through the boughs as she came slowly forth + from her pavilion of cloud, and poured a broader beam on two figures just + advanced beyond the trees. More plainly brought into light by her rays + than his companion, here a horseman, clad in a short cloak that barely + covered the crupper of his steed, was looking to the priming of a large + pistol which he had just taken from his holster. A slouched hat and a mask + of black crape conspired with the action to throw a natural suspicion on + the intentions of the rider. His horse, a beautiful dark gray, stood quite + motionless, with arched neck, and its short ears quickly moving to and + fro, demonstrative of that sagacious and anticipative attention which + characterizes the noblest of all tamed animals; you would not have + perceived the impatience of the steed, but for the white foam that + gathered round the bit, and for an occasional and unfrequent toss of the + head. Behind this horseman, and partially thrown into the dark shadow of + the trees, another man, similarly clad, was busied in tightening the + girths of a horse, of great strength and size. As he did so, he hummed, + with no unmusical murmur, the air of a popular drinking-song. + </p> + <p> + “'Sdeath, Ned!” said his comrade, who had for some time been plunged in a + silent revery,—“'Sdeath! why can you not stifle your love for the + fine arts at a moment like this? That hum of thine grows louder every + moment; at last I expect it will burst out into a full roar. Recollect we + are not at Gentleman George's now!” + </p> + <p> + “The more's the pity, Augustus,” answered Ned. “Soho, Little John; woaho, + sir! A nice long night like this is made on purpose for drinking. Will + you, sir? keep still then!” + </p> + <p> + “Man never is, but always to be blest,” said the moralizing Tomlinson; + “you see you sigh for other scenes even when you have a fine night and the + chance of a God-send before you.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, the night is fine enough,” said Ned, who was rather a grumbler, as, + having finished his groom-like operation, he now slowly mounted. “D—-it, + Oliver! [The moon] looks out as broadly as if he were going to blab. For + my part, I love a dark night, with a star here and there winking at us, as + much as to say, 'I see you, my boys, but I won't say a word about it,' and + a small, pattering, drizzling, mizzling rain, that prevents Little John's + hoofs being heard, and covers one's retreat, as it were. Besides, when one + is a little wet, it is always necessary to drink the more, to keep the + cold from one's stomach when one gets home.” + </p> + <p> + “Or in other words,” said Augustus, who loved a maxim from his very heart, + “light wet cherishes heavy wet!” + </p> + <p> + “Good!” said Ned, yawning. “Hang it, I wish the captain would come. Do you + know what o'clock it is? Not far short of eleven, I suppose?” + </p> + <p> + “About that! Hist, is that a carriage? No, it is only a sudden rise in the + wind.” + </p> + <p> + “Very self-sufficient in Mr. Wind to allow himself to be raised without + our help!” said Ned; “by the way, we are of course to go back to the Red + Cave?” + </p> + <p> + “So Captain Lovett says. Tell me, Ned, what do you think of the new tenant + Lovett has put into the cave?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, I have strange doubts there,” answered Ned, shaking the hairy honours + of his head. “I don't half like it; consider the cave is our stronghold, + and ought only to be known—” + </p> + <p> + “To men of tried virtue,” interrupted Tomlinson. “I agree with you; I must + try and get Lovett to discard his singular protege, as the French say.” + </p> + <p> + “'Gad, Augustus, how came you by so much learning? You know all the poets + by heart, to say nothing of Latin and French.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, hang it, I was brought up, like the captain, to a literary way of + life.” + </p> + <p> + “That's what makes you so thick with him, I suppose. He writes (and sings + too) a tolerable song, and is certainly a deuced clever fellow. What a + rise in the world he has made! Do you recollect what a poor sort of way he + was in when you introduced him at Gentleman George's? and now he's the + Captain Crank of the gang.” + </p> + <p> + “The gang! the company, you mean. Gang, indeed! One would think you were + speaking of a knot of pickpockets. Yes, Lovett is a clever fellow; and, + thanks to me, a very decent philosopher!” It is impossible to convey to + our reader the grave air of importance with which Tomlinson made his + concluding laudation. “Yes,” said he, after a pause, “he has a bold, plain + way of viewing things, and, like Voltaire, he becomes a philosopher by + being a Man of Sense! Hist! see my horse's ears! Some one is coming, + though I don't hear him! Keep watch!” + </p> + <p> + The robbers grew silent; the sound of distant hoofs was indistinctly + heard, and, as it came nearer, there was a crash of boughs, as if a hedge + had been ridden through. Presently the moon gleamed picturesquely on the + figure of a horseman, approaching through the copse in the rear of the + robbers. + </p> + <p> + Now he was half seen among the sinuosities of his forest path; now in full + sight, now altogether hid; then his horse neighed impatiently; now he + again came in sight, and in a moment more he had joined the pair! The + new-comer was of a tall and sinewy frame, and in the first bloom of + manhood. A frock of dark green, edged with a narrow silver lace, and + buttoned from the throat to the middle, gave due effect to an upright + mien, a broad chest, and a slender but rounded waist, that stood in no + need of the compression of the tailor. A short riding-cloak, clasped + across the throat with a silver buckle, hung picturesquely over one + shoulder, while his lower limbs were cased in military boots, which, + though they rose above the knee, were evidently neither heavy nor + embarrassing to the vigorous sinews of the horseman. The caparisons of the + steed—the bit, the bridle, the saddle, the holster—were + according to the most approved fashion of the day; and the steed itself + was in the highest condition, and of remarkable beauty. The horseman's air + was erect and bold; a small but coal-black mustachio heightened the + resolute expression of his short, curved lip; and from beneath the large + hat which overhung his brow his long locks escaped, and waved darkly in + the keen night air. Altogether, horseman and horse exhibited a gallant and + even a chivalrous appearance, which the hour and the scene heightened to a + dramatic and romantic effect. + </p> + <p> + “Ha! Lovett.” + </p> + <p> + “How are you, my merry men?” were the salutations exchanged. + </p> + <p> + “What news?” said Ned. + </p> + <p> + “Brave news! look to it. My lord and his carriage will be by in ten + minutes at most.” + </p> + <p> + “Have you got anything more out of the parson I frightened so gloriously?” + asked Augustus. + </p> + <p> + “No; more of that hereafter. Now for our new prey.” + </p> + <p> + “Are you sure our noble friend will be so soon at hand?” said Tomlinson, + patting his steed, that now pawed in excited hilarity. + </p> + <p> + “Sure! I saw him change horses; I was in the stable-yard at the time. He + got out for half an hour, to eat, I fancy. Be sure that I played him a + trick in the mean while.” + </p> + <p> + “What for?” asked Ned. + </p> + <p> + “Self and servant.” + </p> + <p> + “The post-boys?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, I forgot them. Never mind, you, must frighten them.” + </p> + <p> + “Forwards!” cried Ned; and his horse sprang from his armed heel. + </p> + <p> + “One moment,” said Lovett; “I must put on my mask. Soho, Robin, soho! Now + for it,—forwards!” + </p> + <p> + As the trees rapidly disappeared behind them, the riders entered, at a + hand gallop, on a broad tract of waste land interspersed with dikes and + occasionally fences of hurdles, over which their horses bounded like + quadrupeds well accustomed to such exploits. + </p> + <p> + Certainly at that moment, what with the fresh air, the fitful moonlight + now breaking broadly out, now lost in a rolling cloud, the exciting + exercise, and that racy and dancing stir of the blood, which all action, + whether evil or noble in its nature, raises in our veins; what with all + this, we cannot but allow the fascination of that lawless life,—a + fascination so great that one of the most noted gentlemen highwaymen of + the day, one too who had received an excellent education and mixed in no + inferior society, is reported to have said, when the rope was about his + neck, and the good Ordinary was exhorting him to repent of his ill-spent + life, “Ill-spent, you dog! 'Gad!” (smacking his lips) “it was delicious!” + </p> + <p> + “Fie! fie! Mr. ———-, raise your thoughts to Heaven!” + </p> + <p> + “But a canter across the common—oh!” muttered the criminal; and his + soul cantered off to eternity. + </p> + <p> + So briskly leaped the heart of the leader of the three that, as they now + came in view of the main road, and the distant wheel of a carriage whirred + on the ear, he threw up his right hand with a joyous gesture, and burst + into a boyish exclamation of hilarity and delight. + </p> + <p> + “Whist, captain!” said Ned, checking his own spirits with a mock air of + gravity, “let us conduct ourselves like gentlemen; it is only your low + fellows who get into such confoundedly high spirits; men of the world like + us should do everything as if their hearts were broken.” + </p> + <p> + “Melancholy ever cronies with Sublimity, and Courage is sublime,” said + Augustus, with the pomp of a maxim-maker. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [A maxim which would have pleased Madame de Stael, who thought that + philosophy consisted in fine sentiments. In the “Life of Lord + Byron,” just published by Mr. Moore, the distinguished biographer + makes a similar assertion to that of the sage Augustus: “When did + ever a sublime thought spring up in the soul that melancholy was not + to be found, however latent, in its neighbourhood?” Now, with due + deference to Mr. Moore, this is a very sickly piece of nonsense, + that has not even an atom of truth to stand on. “God said, Let + there be light, and there was light!”—we should like to know where + lies the melancholy of that sublime sentence. “Truth,” says Plato, + “is the body of God, and light is his shadow.” In the name of + common-sense, in what possible corner in the vicinity of that lofty + image lurks the jaundiced face of this eternal bete noir of Mr. + Moore's? Again, in that sublimest passage in the sublimest of the + Latin poets (Lucretius), which bursts forth in honour of Epicurus, + is there anything that speaks to us of sadness? On the contrary, in + the three passages we have referred to, especially in the two first + quoted, there is something splendidly luminous and cheering. Joy is + often a great source of the sublime; the suddenness of its ventings + would alone suffice to make it so. What can be more sublime than + the triumphant Psalms of David, intoxicated as they are with an + almost delirium of transport? Even in the gloomiest passages of the + poets, where we recognize sublimity, we do not often find + melancholy. We are stricken by terror, appalled by awe, but seldom + softened into sadness. In fact, melancholy rather belongs to + another class of feelings than those excited by a sublime passage or + those which engender its composition. On one hand, in the loftiest + flights of Homer, Milton, and Shakspeare, we will challenge a critic + to discover this “green sickness” which Mr. Moore would convert + into the magnificence of the plague. On the other hand, where is + the evidence that melancholy made the habitual temperaments of those + divine men? Of Homer we know nothing; of Shakspeare and Milton, we + have reason to believe the ordinary temperament was constitutionally + cheerful. The latter boasts of it. A thousand instances, in + contradiction to an assertion it were not worth while to contradict, + were it not so generally popular, so highly sanctioned, and so + eminently pernicious to everything that is manly and noble in + literature, rush to our memory. But we think we have already quoted + enough to disprove the sentence, which the illustrious biographer + has himself disproved in more than twenty passages, which, if he is + pleased to forget, we thank Heaven posterity never will. Now we are + on the subject of this Life, so excellent in many respects, we + cannot but observe that we think the whole scope of its philosophy + utterly unworthy of the accomplished mind of the writer; the + philosophy consists of an unpardonable distorting of general truths, + to suit the peculiarities of an individual, noble indeed, but + proverbially morbid and eccentric. A striking instance of this + occurs in the laboured assertion that poets make but sorry domestic + characters. What! because Lord Byron is said to have been a bad + husband, was (to go no further back for examples)—was Walter Scott + a bad husband, or was Campbell, or is Mr. Moore himself? why, in + the name of justice, should it be insinuated that Milton was a bad + husband, when, as far as any one can judge of the matter, it was + Mrs. Milton who was the bad wife? And why, oh! why should we be + told by Mr. Moore,—a man who, to judge by Captain Rock and the + Epicurean, wants neither learning nor diligence,—why are we to be + told, with peculiar emphasis, that Lord Bacon never married, when + Lord Bacon not only married, but his marriage was so advantageous as + to be an absolute epoch in his career? Really, really, one begins + to believe that there is not such a thing as a fact in the world!] +</pre> + <p> + “Now for the hedge!” cried Lovett, unheeding his comrades; and his horse + sprang into the road. + </p> + <p> + The three men now were drawn up quite still and motionless by the side of + the hedge. The broad road lay before them, curving out of sight on either + side; the ground was hardening under an early tendency to frost, and the + clear ring of approaching hoofs sounded on the ear of the robbers, + ominous, haply, of the chinks of “more attractive metal” about, if Hope + told no flattering tale, to be their own. + </p> + <p> + Presently the long-expected vehicle made its appearance at the turn of the + road, and it rolled rapidly on behind four fleet post-horses. + </p> + <p> + “You, Ned, with your large steed, stop the horses; you, Augustus, bully + the post-boys; leave me to do the rest,” said the captain. + </p> + <p> + “As agreed,” returned Ned, laconically. “Now, look at me!” and the horse + of the vain highwayman sprang from its shelter. So instantaneous were the + operations of these experienced tacticians, that Lovett's orders were + almost executed in a briefer time than it had cost him to give them. + </p> + <p> + The carriage being stopped, and the post-boys white and trembling, with + two pistols (levelled by Augustus and Pepper) cocked at their heads, + Lovett, dismounting, threw open the door of the carriage, and in a very + civil tone and with a very bland address accosted the inmate. + </p> + <p> + “Do not be alarmed, my lord, you are perfectly safe; we only require your + watch and purse.” + </p> + <p> + “Really,” answered a voice still softer than that of the robber, while a + marked and somewhat French countenance, crowned with a fur cap, peered + forth at the arrester,—“Really, sir, your request is so modest that + I were worse than cruel to refuse you. My purse is not very full, and you + may as well have it as one of my rascally duns; but my watch I have a love + for, and—” + </p> + <p> + “I understand you, my lord,” interrupted the highwayman. “What do you + value your watch at?” + </p> + <p> + “Humph! to you it may be worth some twenty guineas.” + </p> + <p> + “Allow me to see it!” + </p> + <p> + “Your curiosity is extremely gratifying,” returned the nobleman, as with + great reluctance he drew forth a gold repeater, set, as was sometimes the + fashion of that day, in precious stones. The highwayman looked slightly at + the bauble. + </p> + <p> + “Your lordship,” said he, with great gravity, “was too modest in your + calculation; your taste reflects greater credit on you. Allow me to assure + you that your watch is worth fifty guinea's to us, at the least. To show + you that I think so most sincerely, I will either keep it, and we will say + no more on the matter; or I will return it to you upon your word of honour + that you will give me a check for fifty guineas payable, by your real + bankers, to 'bearer for self.' Take your choice; it is quite immaterial to + me!” + </p> + <p> + “Upon my honour, sir,” said the traveller, with some surprise struggling + to his features, “your coolness and self-possession are quite admirable. I + see you know the world.” + </p> + <p> + “Your lordship flatters me!” returned Lovett, bowing. “How do you decide?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, is it possible to write drafts without ink, pen, or paper?” + </p> + <p> + Lovett drew back, and while he was searching in his pockets for writing + implements, which he always carried about him, the traveller seized the + opportunity, and suddenly snatching a pistol from the pocket of the + carriage, levelled it full at the head of the robber. The traveller was an + excellent and practised shot,—he was almost within arm's length of + his intended victim,—his pistols were the envy of all his Irish + friends. He pulled the trigger,—the powder flashed in the pan; and + the highwayman, not even changing countenance, drew forth a small + ink-bottle, and placing a steel pen in it, handed it to the nobleman, + saying, with incomparable sang froid: “Would you like, my lord, to try the + other pistol? If so, oblige me by a quick aim, as you must see the + necessity of despatch. If not, here is the back of a letter, on which you + can write the draft.” + </p> + <p> + The traveller was not a man apt to become embarrassed in anything save his + circumstances; but he certainly felt a little discomposed and confused as + he took the paper, and uttering some broken words, wrote the check. The + highwayman glanced over it, saw it was written according to form, and then + with a bow of cool respect, returned the watch, and shut the door of the + carriage. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile the servant had been shivering in front, boxed up in that + solitary convenience termed, not euphoniously, a dickey. Him the robber + now briefly accosted. + </p> + <p> + “What have you got about you belonging to your master?” + </p> + <p> + “Only his pills, your honour! which I forgot to put in the—” + </p> + <p> + “Pills!—throw them down to me!” The valet tremblingly extricated + from his side-pocket a little box, which he threw down and Lovett caught + in his hand. + </p> + <p> + He opened the box, counted the pills,—“One, two, four, twelve,—aha!” + He reopened the carriage door. “Are these your pills, my lord?” + </p> + <p> + The wondering peer, who had begun to resettle himself in the corner of his + carriage, answered that they were. + </p> + <p> + “My lord, I see you are in a high state of fever; you were a little + delirious just now when you snapped a pistol in your friend's face. Permit + me to recommend you a prescription,—swallow off all these pills!” + </p> + <p> + “My God!” cried the traveller, startled into earnestness; “what do you + mean?—twelve of those pills would kill a man!” + </p> + <p> + “Hear him!” said the robber, appealing to his comrades, who roared with + laughter. “What, my lord, would you rebel against your doctor? Fie, fie! + be persuaded.” + </p> + <p> + And with a soothing gesture he stretched the pill-box towards the + recoiling nose of the traveller. But though a man who could as well as any + one make the best of a bad condition, the traveller was especially careful + of his health; and so obstinate was he where that was concerned, that he + would rather have submitted to the effectual operation of a bullet than + incurred the chance operation of an extra pill. He therefore, with great + indignation, as the box was still extended towards him, snatched it from + the hand of the robber, and flinging it across the road, said with + dignity,— + </p> + <p> + “Do your worst, rascals! But if you leave me alive, you shall repent the + outrage you have offered to one of his Majesty's household!” Then, as if + becoming sensible of the ridicule of affecting too much in his present + situation, he added in an altered tone: “And now, for Heaven's sake, shut + the door; and if you must kill somebody, there's my servant on the box,—he's + paid for it.” + </p> + <p> + This speech made the robbers laugh more than ever; and Lovett, who liked a + joke even better than a purse, immediately closed the carriage door, + saying,— + </p> + <p> + “Adieu, my lord; and let me give you a piece of advice: whenever you get + out at a country inn, and stay half an hour while your horses are + changing, take your pistols with you, or you may chance to have the charge + drawn.” + </p> + <p> + With this admonition the robber withdrew; and seeing that the valet held + out to him a long green purse, he said, gently shaking his head,— + </p> + <p> + “Rogues should not prey on each other, my good fellow. You rob your + master; so do we. Let each keep what he has got.” + </p> + <p> + Long Ned and Tomlinson then backing their horses, the carriage was freed; + and away started the post-boys at a pace which seemed to show less regard + for life than the robbers themselves had evinced. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile the captain remounted his steed, and the three confederates, + bounding in gallant style over the hedge through which they had previously + gained the road, galloped off in the same direction they had come; the + moon ever and anon bringing into light their flying figures, and the sound + of many a joyous peal of laughter ringing through the distance along the + frosty air. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + What is here?— + + Gold? + + Thus much of this will make black white, foul fair. + + Timon of Athens. + + Came there a certain lord, neat, trimly drest, + Fresh as a bridegroom. + + Henry the Fourth. + + I do not know the man I should avoid + So soon as that spare Cassius! + He reads much. He is a great observer; and he looks + Quite through the deeds of men. + Often he smiles; but smiles in such a sort, + As if he mocked himself or scorned his spirit, + That could be moved to smile at anything. + + Julius Caesar. +</pre> + <p> + The next day, late at noon, as Lucy was sitting with her father, not as + usual engaged either in work or in reading, but seemingly quite idle, with + her pretty foot upon the squire's gouty stool, and eyes fixed on the + carpet, while her hands (never were hands so soft and so small as Lucy's, + though they may have been eclipsed in whiteness) were lightly clasped + together and reposed listlessly on her knees,—the surgeon of the + village abruptly entered with a face full of news and horror. Old Squire + Brandon was one of those persons who always hear news, whatever it may be, + later than any of their neighbours; and it was not till all the gossips of + the neighbourhood had picked the bone of the matter quite bare, that he + was now informed, through the medium of Mr. Pillum, that Lord Mauleverer + had on the preceding night been stopped by three highwaymen in his road to + his country-seat, and robbed to a considerable amount. + </p> + <p> + The fame of the worthy Dr. Slopperton's maladventure having long ere this + been spread far and wide, the whole neighbourhood was naturally thrown + into great consternation. Magistrates were sent to, large dogs borrowed, + blunderbusses cleaned, and a subscription made throughout the parish for + the raising of a patrol. There seemed little doubt but that the offenders + in either case were members of the same horde; and Mr. Pillum, in his own + mind, was perfectly convinced that they meant to encroach upon his trade, + and destroy all the surrounding householders who were worth the trouble. + </p> + <p> + The next week passed in the most diligent endeavours, on the part of the + neighbouring magistrates and yeomanry, to detect and seize the robbers; + but their labours were utterly fruitless; and one justice of peace, who + had been particularly active, was himself entirely “cleaned out” by an old + gentleman who, under the name of Mr. Bagshot,—rather an ominous + cognomen,—offered to conduct the unsuspicious magistrate to the very + spot where the miscreants might be seized. No sooner, however, had he + drawn the poor justice away from his comrades into a lonely part of the + road than he stripped him to his shirt. He did not even leave his worship + his flannel drawers, though the weather was as bitter as the dog-days of + 1829. + </p> + <p> + “It is not my way,” said the hoary ruffian, when the justice petitioned at + least for the latter article of attire,—“'t is not my way. I be 's + slow about my work, but I does it thoroughly; so off with your rags, old + un.” + </p> + <p> + This was, however, the only additional instance of aggression in the + vicinity of Warlock Manor-house; and by degrees, as the autumn declined, + and no further enormities were perpetrated, people began to look out for a + new topic of conversation. This was afforded them by a piece of unexpected + good fortune to Lucy Brandon: + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Warner—an old lady to whom she was slightly related, and with + whom she had been residing during her brief and only visit to London—died + suddenly, and in her will declared Lucy to be her sole heiress. The + property, which was in the Funds, and which amounted to L60,000, was to be + enjoyed by Miss Brandon immediately on her attaining her twenty-first + year; meanwhile the executors to the will were to pay to the young heiress + the annual sum of L600. The joy which this news created in Warlock + Manor-house may easily be conceived. The squire projected improvements + here, and repairs there; and Lucy, poor girl, who had no idea of money for + herself, beyond the purchase of a new pony, or a gown from London, + seconded with affectionate pleasure all her father's suggestions, and + delighted herself with the reflection that those fine plans, which were to + make the Brandons greater than the Brandons ever were before, were to be + realized by her own, own money! It was at this identical time that the + surrounding gentry made a simultaneous and grand discovery,—namely, + of the astonishing merits and great good-sense of Mr. Joseph Brandon. It + was a pity, they observed, that he was of so reserved and shy a turn,—it + was not becoming in a gentleman of so ancient a family; but why should + they not endeavour to draw him from his retirement into those more public + scenes which he was doubtless well calculated to adorn? + </p> + <p> + Accordingly, as soon as the first month of mourning had expired, several + coaches, chariots, chaises, and horses which had never been seen at + Warlock Manor-house before, arrived there one after the other in the most + friendly manner imaginable. Their owners admired everything,—the + house was such a fine relic of old times!—for their parts they liked + an oak staircase!—and those nice old windows!—and what a + beautiful peacock!—and, Heaven save the mark! that magnificent + chestnut-tree was worth a forest! Mr. Brandon was requested to make one of + the county hunt, not that he any longer hunted himself, but that his name + would give such consequence to the thing! Miss Lucy must come to pass a + week with her dear friends the Honourable Misses Sansterre! Augustus, + their brother, had such a sweet lady's horse! In short, the customary + change which takes place in people's characters after the acquisition of a + fortune took place in the characters of Mr. and Miss Brandon; and when + people become suddenly amiable, it is no wonder that they should suddenly + gain a vast accession of friends. + </p> + <p> + But Lucy, though she had seen so little of the world, was not quite blind; + and the squire, though rather obtuse, was not quite a fool. If they were + not rude to their new visitors, they were by no means overpowered with + gratitude at their condescension. Mr. Brandon declined subscribing to the + hunt, and Miss Lucy laughed in the face of the Honourable Augustus + Sansterre. Among their new guests, however, was one who to great knowledge + of the world joined an extreme and even brilliant polish of manners, which + at least prevented deceit from being disagreeable, if not wholly from + being unseen this was the new lieutenant of the county, Lord Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + Though possessed of an immense property in that district, Lord Mauleverer + had hitherto resided but little on his estates. He was one of those gay + lords who are now somewhat uncommon in this country after mature manhood + is attained, who live an easy and rakish life, rather among their + parasites than their equals, and who yet, by aid of an agreeable manner, + natural talents, and a certain graceful and light cultivation of mind (not + the less pleasant for its being universally coloured with worldliness, and + an amusing rather than offensive regard for self), never lose their + legitimate station in society; who are oracles in dress, equipages, + cookery, and beauty, and, having no character of their own, are able to + fix by a single word a character upon any one else. Thus, while Mauleverer + rather lived the dissolute life of a young nobleman, who prefers the + company of agreeable demireps to that of wearisome duchesses, than + maintained the decorous state befitting a mature age, and an immense + interest in the country, he was quite as popular at court, where he held a + situation in the household, as he was in the green-room, where he + enchanted every actress on the right side of forty. A word from him in the + legitimate quarters of power went further than an harangue from another; + and even the prudes—at least, all those who had daughters—confessed + that his lordship was a very interesting character. Like Brandon, his + familiar friend, he had risen in the world (from the Irish baron to the + English earl) without having ever changed his politics, which were + ultra-Tory; and we need not observe that he was deemed, like Brandon, a + model of public integrity. He was possessed of two places under + government, six votes in the House of Commons, and eight livings in the + Church; and we must add, in justice to his loyal and religious principles, + that there was not in the three kingdoms a firmer friend to the existing + establishments. + </p> + <p> + Whenever a nobleman does not marry, people try to take away his character. + Lord Mauleverer had never married. The Whigs had been very bitter on the + subject; they even alluded to it in the House of Commons,—that + chaste assembly, where the never-failing subject of reproach against Mr. + Pitt was the not being of an amorous temperament; but they had not + hitherto prevailed against the stout earl's celibacy. It is true that if + he was devoid of a wife, he had secured to himself plenty of substitutes; + his profession was that of a man of gallantry; and though he avoided the + daughters, it was only to make love to the mothers. But his lordship had + now attained a certain age, and it was at last circulated among his + friends that he intended to look out for a Lady Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + “Spare your caresses,” said his toady-in-chief to a certain duchess, who + had three portionless daughters; “Mauleverer has sworn that he will not + choose among your order. You know his high politics, and you will not + wonder at his declaring himself averse in matrimony as in morals to a + community of goods.” + </p> + <p> + The announcement of the earl's matrimonial design and the circulation of + this anecdote set all the clergymen's daughters in England on a blaze of + expectation; and when Mauleverer came to shire, upon obtaining the honour + of the lieutenancy, to visit his estates and court the friendship of his + neighbours, there was not an old-young lady of forty, who worked in + broad-stitch and had never been to London above a week at a time, who did + not deem herself exactly the sort of person sure to fascinate his + lordship. + </p> + <p> + It was late in the afternoon when the travelling-chariot of this + distinguished person, preceded by two outriders, in the earl's undress + livery of dark green, stopped at the hall door of Warlock House. The + squire was at home, actually and metaphorically; for he never dreamed of + denying himself to any one, gentle or simple. The door of the carriage + being opened, there descended a small slight man, richly dressed (for lace + and silk vestments were not then quite discarded, though gradually growing + less the mode), and of an air prepossessing and distinguished rather than + dignified. His years—for his countenance, though handsome, was + deeply marked, and evinced the tokens of dissipation—seemed more + numerous than they really were; and though not actually past middle age, + Lord Mauleverer might fairly have received the unpleasing epithet of + elderly. However, his step was firm, his gait upright, and his figure was + considerably more youthful than his physiognomy. The first compliments of + the day having passed, and Lord Mauleverer having expressed his concern + that his long and frequent absence from the county had hitherto prevented + his making the acquaintance of Mr. Brandon, the brother of one of his + oldest and most esteemed friends, conversation became on both sides rather + an effort. Mr. Brandon first introduced the subject of the weather, and + the turnips; inquired whether his lordship was not very fond (for his part + he used to be, but lately the rheumatism had disabled him; he hoped his + lordship was not subject to that complaint) of shooting! + </p> + <p> + Catching only the last words,—for, besides the awful complexity of + the squire's sentences, Mauleverer was slightly affected by the + aristocratic complaint of deafness,—the earl answered, with a smile,— + </p> + <p> + “The complaint of shooting! Very good indeed, Mr. Brandon; it is seldom + that I have heard so witty a phrase. No, I am not in the least troubled + with that epidemic. It is a disorder very prevalent in this county.” + </p> + <p> + “My lord!” said the squire, rather puzzled; and then, observing that + Mauleverer did not continue, he thought it expedient to start another + subject. + </p> + <p> + “I was exceedingly grieved to hear that your lordship, in travelling to + Mauleverer Park (that is a very ugly road across the waste land; the roads + in this country are in general pretty good,—for my own part, when I + was a magistrate I was very strict in that respect), was robbed. You have + not yet, I believe, detected (for my part, though I do not profess to be + much of a politician, I do think that in affairs of robbery there is a + great deal of remissness in the ministers) the villains!” + </p> + <p> + “Our friend is disaffected!” thought the lord-lieutenant, imagining that + the last opprobrious term was applied to the respectable personages + specified in the parenthesis. Bowing with a polished smile to the squire, + Mauleverer replied aloud, that he was extremely sorry that their conduct + (meaning the ministers) did not meet with Mr. Brandon's approbation. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” thought the squire, “that is playing the courtier with a + vengeance!—Meet with my approbation!” said he, warmly; “how could + your lordship think me (for though I am none of your saints, I am, I hope, + a good Christian; an excellent one, judging from your words, your lordship + must be!) so partial to crime!” + </p> + <p> + “I partial to crime!” returned Mauleverer, thinking he had stumbled + unawares on some outrageous democrat, yet smiling as softly as usual; “you + judge me harshly, Mr. Brandon! You must do me more justice, and you can + only do that by knowing me better.” + </p> + <p> + Whatever unlucky answer the squire might otherwise have made was cut off + by the entrance of Lucy; and the earl, secretly delighted at the + interruption, rose to render her his homage, and to remind her of the + introduction he had formerly been so happy as to obtain to her through the + friendship of Mr. William Brandon,—a “friendship,” said the gallant + nobleman, “to which I have often before been indebted, but which was never + more agreeably exerted on my behalf.” + </p> + <p> + Upon this Lucy, who though she had been so painfully bashful during her + meeting with Mr. Clifford, felt no overpowering diffidence in the presence + of so much greater a person, replied laughingly, and the earl rejoined by + a second compliment. Conversation was now no longer an effort; and + Mauleverer, the most consummate of epicures, whom even royalty trembled to + ask without preparation, on being invited by the unconscious squire to + partake of the family dinner, eagerly accepted the invitation. It was long + since the knightly walls of Warlock had been honoured by the presence of a + guest so courtly. The good squire heaped his plate with a profusion of + boiled beef; and while the poor earl was contemplating in dismay the Alps + upon Alps which he was expected to devour, the gray-headed butler, anxious + to serve him with alacrity, whipped away the overloaded plate, and + presently returned it, yet more astoundingly surcharged with an additional + world of a composition of stony colour and sudorific aspect, which, after + examining in mute attention for some moments, and carefully removing as + well as he was able to the extreme edge of his plate, the earl discovered + to be suet pudding. + </p> + <p> + “You eat nothing, my lord,” cried the squire; “let me give you—this + is more underdone;” holding between blade and fork in middle air abhorrent + fragment of scarlet, shaking its gory locks,—“another slice.” + </p> + <p> + Swift at the word dropped upon Mauleverer's plate the harpy finger and + ruthless thumb of the gray-headed butler. “Not a morsel more,” cried the + earl, struggling with the murderous domestic. “My dear sir, excuse me; I + assure you I have never ate such a dinner before,—never!” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, now!” quoth the squire, expostulating, “you really (and this air is + so keen that your lordship should indulge your appetite, if you follow the + physician's advice) eat nothing!” + </p> + <p> + Again Mauleverer was at fault. + </p> + <p> + “The physicians are right, Mr. Brandon,” said he, “very right, and I am + forced to live abstemiously; indeed I do not know whether, if I were to + exceed at your hospitable table, and attack all that you would bestow upon + me, I should ever recover it. You would have to seek a new lieutenant for + your charming county, and on the tomb of the last Mauleverer the + hypocritical and unrelated heir would inscribe, 'Died of the visitation of + Beef, John, Earl, etc.'” + </p> + <p> + Plain as the meaning of this speech might have seemed to others, the + squire only laughed at the effeminate appetite of the speaker, and + inclined to think him an excellent fellow for jesting so good-humouredly + on his own physical infirmity. But Lucy had the tact of her sex, and, + taking pity on the earl's calamitous situation, though she certainly never + guessed at its extent, entered with so much grace and ease into the + conversation which he sought to establish between them, that Mauleverer's + gentleman, who had hitherto been pushed aside by the zeal of the + gray-headed butler, found an opportunity, when the squire was laughing and + the butler staring, to steal away the overburdened plate unsuspected and + unseen. + </p> + <p> + In spite, however, of these evils of board and lodgement, Mauleverer was + exceedingly well pleased with his visit; nor did he terminate it till the + shades of night had begun to close, and the distance from his own + residence conspired with experience to remind him that it was possible for + a highwayman's audacity to attack the equipage even of Lord Mauleverer. He + then reluctantly re-entered his carriage, and, bidding the postilions + drive as fast as possible, wrapped himself in his roquelaire, and divided + his thoughts between Lucy Brandon and the homard au gratin with which he + proposed to console him self immediately on his return home. However, + Fate, which mocks our most cherished hopes, ordained that on arriving at + Mauleverer Park the owner should be suddenly afflicted with a loss of + appetite, a coldness in the limbs, a pain in the chest, and various other + ungracious symptoms of portending malady. Lord Mauleverer went straight to + bed; he remained there for some days, and when he recovered his physicians + ordered him to Bath. The Whig Methodists, who hated him, ascribed his + illness to Providence; and his lordship was firmly of opinion that it + should be ascribed to the beef and pudding. However this be, there was an + end, for the present, to the hopes of young ladies of forty, and to the + intended festivities at Mauleverer Park. + </p> + <p> + “Good heavens!” said the earl, as his carriage wheels turned from his + gates, “what a loss to country tradesmen may be occasioned by a piece of + underdone beef, especially if it be boiled!” + </p> + <p> + About a fortnight had elapsed since Mauleverer's meteoric visit to Warlock + House, when the squire received from his brother the following epistle:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + MY DEAR JOSEPH,—You know my numerous avocations, and, amid the + press of business which surrounds me, will, I am sure, forgive me + for being a very negligent and remiss correspondent. Nevertheless, + I assure you, no one can more sincerely sympathize in that good + fortune which has befallen my charming niece, and of which your last + letter informed me, than I do. Pray give my best love to her, and + tell her how complacently I look forward to the brilliant sensation + she will create, when her beauty is enthroned upon that rank which, + I am quite sure, it will one day or other command. + + You are not aware, perhaps, my dear Joseph, that I have for some + time been in a very weak and declining state of health. The old + nervous complaint in my face has of late attacked me grievously, and + the anguish is sometimes so great that I am scarcely able to bear + it. I believe the great demand which my profession makes upon a + frame of body never strong, and now beginning prematurely to feel + the infirmities of time, is the real cause of my maladies. At last, + however, I must absolutely punish my pocket, and indulge my + inclinations by a short respite from toil. The doctors—sworn + friends, you know, to the lawyers, since they make common cause + against mankind—have peremptorily ordered me to lie by, and to try + a short course of air, exercise, social amusements, and the waters + of Bath. Fortunately this is vacation time, and I can afford to + lose a few weeks of emolument, in order, perhaps, to secure many + years of life. I purpose, then, early next week, repairing to that + melancholy reservoir of the gay, where persons dance out of life and + are fiddled across the Styx. In a word, I shall make one of the + adventurers after health who seek the goddess at King Bladud's pump- + room. Will you and dear Lucy join me there? I ask it of your + friendship, and I am quite sure that neither of you will shrink + aghast at the proposal of solacing your invalid relation. At the + same time that I am recovering health, my pretty niece will be + avenging Pluto, by consigning to his dominions many a better and + younger hero in my stead. And it will be a double pleasure to me to + see all the hearts, etc.—I break off, for what can I say on that + subject which the little coquette does not anticipate? It is high + time that Lucy should see the world; and though there are many—at + Bath, above all places, to whom the heiress will be an object of + interested attentions, yet there are also many in that crowded city + by no means undeserving her notice. What say you, dear Joseph? But + I know already: you will not refuse to keep company with me in my + little holiday; and Lucy's eyes are already sparkling at the idea of + new bonnets, Milsom Street, a thousand adorers, and the pump-room. + + Ever, dear Joseph, yours affectionately, + + WILLIAM BRANDON. + + P. S. I find that my friend Lord Mauleverer is at Bath; I own that + is an additional reason to take me thither; by a letter from him, + received the other day, I see that he has paid you a visit, and he + now raves about his host and the heiress. Ah, Miss Lucy, Miss Lucy! + are you going to conquer him whom all London has, for years more + than I care to tell (yet not many, for Mauleverer is still young), + assailed in vain? Answer me! +</pre> + <p> + This letter created a considerable excitement in Warlock House. The old + squire was extremely fond of his brother, and grieved to the heart to find + that he spoke so discouragingly of his health. Nor did the squire for a + moment hesitate at accepting the proposal to join his distinguished + relative at Bath. Lucy also—who had for her uncle, possibly from his + profuse yet not indelicate flattery, a very great regard and interest, + though she had seen but little of him—urged the squire to lose no + time in arranging matters for their departure, so as to precede the + barrister, and prepare everything for his arrival. The father and daughter + being thus agreed, there was little occasion for delay; an answer to the + invalid's letter was sent by return of post, and on the fourth day from + their receipt of the said epistle, the good old squire, his daughter, a + country girl by way of abigail, the gray-headed butler, and two or three + live pets, of the size and habits most convenient for travelling, were on + their way to a city which at that time was gayer at least, if somewhat + less splendid, than the metropolis. + </p> + <p> + On the second day of their arrival at Bath, Brandon (as in future, to + avoid confusion, we shall call the younger brother, giving to the elder + his patriarchal title of squire) joined them. + </p> + <p> + He was a man seemingly rather fond of parade, though at heart he + disrelished and despised it. He came to their lodging, which had not been + selected in the very best part of the town, in a carriage and six, but + attended only by one favourite servant. + </p> + <p> + They found him in better looks and better spirits than they had + anticipated. Few persons, when he liked it, could be more agreeable than + William Brandon; but at times there mixed with his conversation a bitter + sarcasm, probably a habit acquired in his profession, or an occasional + tinge of morose and haughty sadness, possibly the consequence of his + ill-health. Yet his disorder, which was somewhat approaching to that + painful affliction the tic douloureux, though of fits more rare in + occurrence than those of that complaint ordinarily are, never seemed even + for an instant to operate upon his mood, whatever that might be. That + disease worked unseen; not a muscle of his face appeared to quiver; the + smile never vanished from his mouth, the blandness of his voice never grew + faint as with pain, and, in the midst of intense torture, his resolute and + stern mind conquered every external indication; nor could the most + observant stranger have noted the moment when the fit attacked or released + him. There was something inscrutable about the man. You felt that you took + his character upon trust, and not on your own knowledge. The acquaintance + of years would have left you equally dark as to his vices or his virtues. + He varied often, yet in each variation he was equally undiscoverable. Was + he performing a series of parts, or was it the ordinary changes of a man's + true temperament that you beheld in him? Commonly smooth, quiet, + attentive, flattering in social intercourse, he was known in the senate + and courts of law for a cold asperity, and a caustic venom,—scarcely + rivalled even in those arenas of contention. It seemed as if the bitterer + feelings he checked in private life, he delighted to indulge in public. + Yet even there he gave not way to momentary petulance or gushing passion; + all seemed with him systematic sarcasm or habitual sternness. He outraged + no form of ceremonial or of society. He stung, without appearing conscious + of the sting; and his antagonist writhed not more beneath the torture of + his satire than the crushing contempt of his self-command. Cool, ready, + armed and defended on all points, sound in knowledge, unfailing in + observation, equally consummate in sophistry when needed by himself, and + instantaneous in detecting sophistry in another; scorning no art, however + painful; begrudging no labour, however weighty; minute in detail, yet not + the less comprehending the whole subject in a grasp,—such was the + legal and public character William Brandon had established, and such was + the fame he joined to the unsullied purity of his moral reputation. But to + his friends he seemed only the agreeable, clever, lively, and, if we may + use the phrase innocently, the worldly man,—never affecting a + superior sanctity, or an over-anxiety to forms, except upon great + occasions; and rendering his austerity of manners the more admired, + because he made it seem so unaccompanied by hypocrisy. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Brandon, as he sat after dinner alone with his relations, and + had seen the eyes of his brother close in diurnal slumber, “tell me, Miss + Lucy, what you think of Lord Mauleverer; do you find him agreeable?” + </p> + <p> + “Very; too much so, indeed!” + </p> + <p> + “Too much so! That is an uncommon fault, Lucy, unless you mean to + insinuate that you find him too agreeable for your peace of mind.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no! there is little fear of that. All that I meant to express was + that he seems to make it the sole business of his life to be agreeable, + and that one imagines he had gained that end by the loss of certain + qualities which one would have liked better.” + </p> + <p> + “Umph! and what are they?” + </p> + <p> + “Truth, sincerity, independence, and honesty of mind.” + </p> + <p> + “My dear Lucy, it has been the professional study of my life to discover a + man's character, especially so far as truth is concerned, in as short a + time as possible; but you excel me in intuition, if you can tell whether + there be sincerity in a courtier's character at the first interview you + have with him.” + </p> + <p> + “Nevertheless, I am sure of my opinion,” said Lucy, laughing; “and I will + tell you one instance I observed among a hundred. Lord Mauleverer is + rather deaf, and he imagined, in conversation, that my father said one + thing—it was upon a very trifling subject, the speech of some member + of parliament [the lawyer smiled],—when in reality he meant to say + another. Lord Mauleverer, in the warmest manner in the world, chimed in + with him, appeared thoroughly of his opinion, applauded his sentiments, + and wished the whole country of his mind. Suddenly my father spoke; Lord + Mauleverer bent down his ear, and found that the sentiments he had so + lauded were exactly those my father the least favoured. No sooner did he + make this discovery than he wheeled round again,—dexterously and + gracefully, I allow; condemned all that he had before extolled, and + extolled all that he had before abused!” + </p> + <p> + “And is that all, Lucy?” said Brandon, with a keener sneer on his lip than + the occasion warranted. “Why, that is what every one does; only some more + gravely than others. Mauleverer in society, I at the bar, the minister in + parliament, friend to friend, lover to mistress, mistress to lover,—half + of us are employed in saying white is black, and the other half in + swearing that black is white. There is only one difference, my pretty + niece, between the clever man and the fool: the fool says what is false + while the colours stare in his face and give him the lie; but the clever + man takes as it were a brush and literally turns the black into white and + the white into black before he makes the assertion, which is then true. + The fool changes, and is a liar; the clever man makes the colours change, + and is a genius. But this is not for your young years yet, Lucy.” + </p> + <p> + “But I can't see the necessity of seeming to agree with people,” said + Lucy, simply; “surely they would be just as well pleased if you differed + from them civilly and with respect?” + </p> + <p> + “No, Lucy,” said Brandon, still sneering; “to be liked, it is not + necessary to be anything but compliant. Lie, cheat, make every word a + snare, and every act a forgery; but never contradict. Agree with people, + and they make a couch for you in their hearts. You know the story of Dante + and the buffoon. Both were entertained at the court of the vain pedant, + who called himself Prince Scaliger,—the former poorly, the latter + sumptuously. 'How comes it,' said the buffoon to the poet, 'that I am so + rich and you so poor?' 'I shall be as rich as you,' was the stinging and + true reply, 'whenever I can find a patron as like myself as Prince + Scaliger is like you!'” + </p> + <p> + “Yet my birds,” said Lucy, caressing the goldfinch, which nestled to her + bosom, “are not like me, and I love them. Nay, I often think I could love + those better who differ from me the most. I feel it so in books,—when, + for instance, I read a novel or a play; and you, uncle, I like almost in + proportion to my perceiving in myself nothing in common with you.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said Brandon, “you have in common with me a love for old stories of + Sir Hugo and Sir Rupert, and all the other 'Sirs' of our mouldered and + bygone race. So you shall sing me the ballad about Sir John de Brandon, + and the dragon he slew in the Holy Land. We will adjourn to the + drawing-room, not to disturb your father.” + </p> + <p> + Lucy agreed, took her uncle's arm, repaired to the drawing-room, and + seating herself at the harpsichord, sang to an inspiriting yet somewhat + rude air the family ballad her uncle had demanded. + </p> + <p> + It would have been amusing to note in the rigid face of the hardened and + habitual man of peace and parchments a certain enthusiasm which ever and + anon crossed his cheek, as the verses of the ballad rested on some + allusion to the knightly House of Brandon and its old renown. It was an + early prejudice, breaking out despite of himself,—a flash of + character, stricken from the hard fossil in which it was imbedded. One + would have supposed that the silliest of all prides (for the pride of + money, though meaner, is less senseless), family pride, was the last + weakness which at that time the callous and astute lawyer would have + confessed, even to himself. + </p> + <p> + “Lucy,” said Brandon, as the song ceased, and he gazed on his beautiful + niece with a certain pride in his aspect, “I long to witness your first + appearance in the world. This lodging, my dear, is not fit—But + pardon me! what I was about to say is this: your father and yourself are + here at my invitation, and in my house you must dwell; you are my guests, + not mine host and hostess. I have therefore already directed my servant to + secure me a house and provide the necessary establishment; and I make no + doubt, as he is a quick fellow, that within three days all will be ready. + You must then be the magnet of my abode, Lucy; and meanwhile you must + explain this to my brother, and—for you know his jealous hospitality—obtain + his acquiescence.” + </p> + <p> + “But—” began Lucy. + </p> + <p> + “But me no buts,” said Brandon, quickly, but with an affectionate tone of + wilfulness; “and now, as I feel very much fatigued with my journey, you + must allow me to seek my own room.” + </p> + <p> + “I will conduct you to it myself,” said Lucy, for she was anxious to show + her father's brother the care and forethought which she had lavished on + her arrangements for his comfort. Brandon followed her into an apartment + which his eye knew at a glance had been subjected to that female + superintendence which makes such uses from what men reject as + insignificant; and he thanked her with more than his usual amenity, for + the grace which had presided over, and the kindness which had dictated her + preparations. As soon as he was left alone, he wheeled his armchair near + the clear, bright fire, and resting his face upon his hand, in the + attitude of a man who prepares himself as it were for the indulgence of + meditation, he muttered,— + </p> + <p> + “Yes! these women are, first, what Nature makes them, and that is good; + next, what use make them, and that is evil! Now, could I persuade myself + that we ought to be nice as to the use we put these poor puppets to, I + should shrink from enforcing the destiny which I have marked for this + girl. But that is a pitiful consideration, and he is but a silly player + who loses his money for the sake of preserving his counters. So the young + lady must go as another score to the fortunes of William Brandon. After + all, who suffers? Not she. She will have wealth, rank, honour. I shall + suffer, to yield so pretty and pure a gem to the coronet of—Faugh! + How I despise that dog; but how I could hate, crush, mangle him, could I + believe that he despised me! Could he do so? Umph! No, I have resolved + myself that is impossible. Well, let me hope that matrimonial point will + be settled; and now let me consider what next step I shall take for + myself,—myself, ay, only myself! With me perishes the last male of + Brandon; but the light shall not go out under a bushel.” + </p> + <p> + As he said this, the soliloquist sunk into a more absorbed and silent + revery, from which he was disturbed by the entrance of his servant. + Brandon, who was never a dreamer save when alone, broke at once from his + reflections. + </p> + <p> + “You have obeyed my orders, Barlow?” said he. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir,” answered the domestic. “I have taken the best house yet + unoccupied; and when Mrs. Roberts [Brandon's housekeeper] arrives from + London, everything will, I trust, be exactly to your wishes.” + </p> + <p> + “Good! And you gave my note to Lord Mauleverer?” + </p> + <p> + “With my own hands, sir; his lordship will await you at home all + to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + “Very well! and now, Barlow, see that your room is within call [bells, + though known, were not common at that day], and give out that I am gone to + bed, and must not be disturbed. What's the hour?” + </p> + <p> + “Just on the stroke of ten, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Place on that table my letter-case and the inkstand. Look in, to help me + to undress, at half-past one; I shall go to bed at that hour. And—stay—be + sure, Barlow, that my brother believes me retired for the night. He does + not know my habits, and will vex himself if he thinks I sit up so late in + my present state of health.” + </p> + <p> + Drawing the table with its writing appurtenances near to his master, the + servant left Brandon once more to his thoughts or his occupations. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Servant. Get away, I say, wid dat nasty bell. + + Punch. Do you call this a bell? (patting it.) It is an + organ. + + Servant. I say it is a bell,—a nasty bell! + + Punch. I say it is an organ (striking him with it). What do + you say it is now? + + Servant. An organ, Mr. Punch! + + The Tragical Comedy of Punch and Judy. +</pre> + <p> + The next morning, before Lucy and her father had left their apartments, + Brandon, who was a remarkably early riser, had disturbed the luxurious + Mauleverer in his first slumber. Although the courtier possessed a villa + some miles from Bath, he preferred a lodging in the town, both as being + warmer than a rarely inhabited country-house, and as being to an indolent + man more immediately convenient for the gayeties and the waters of the + medicinal city. As soon as the earl had rubbed his eyes, stretched + himself, and prepared himself for the untimeous colloquy, Brandon poured + forth his excuses for the hour he had chosen for a visit. “Mention it not, + my dear Brandon,” said the good-natured nobleman, with a sigh; “I am glad + at any hour to see you, and I am very sure that what you have to + communicate is always worth listening to.” + </p> + <p> + “It was only upon public business, though of rather a more important + description than usual, that I ventured to disturb you,” answered Brandon, + seating himself on a chair by the bedside. “This morning, an hour ago, I + received by private express a letter from London, stating that a new + arrangement will positively be made in the Cabinet,—nay, naming the + very promotions and changes. I confess that as my name occurred, as also + your own, in these nominations, I was anxious to have the benefit of your + necessarily accurate knowledge on the subject, as well as of your advice.” + </p> + <p> + “Really, Brandon,” said Mauleverer, with a half-peevish smile, “any other + hour in the day would have done for 'the business of the nation,' as the + newspapers call that troublesome farce we go through; and I had imagined + you would not have broken my nightly slumbers except for something of real + importance,—the discovery of a new beauty or the invention of a new + dish.” + </p> + <p> + “Neither the one nor the other could you have expected from me, my dear + lord,” rejoined Brandon. “You know the dry trifles in which a lawyer's + life wastes itself away; and beauties and dishes have no attraction for + us, except the former be damsels deserted, and the latter patents invaded. + But my news, after all, is worth hearing, unless you have heard it + before.” + </p> + <p> + “Not I! but I suppose I shall hear it in the course of the day. Pray + Heaven I be not sent for to attend some plague of a council. Begin!” + </p> + <p> + “In the first place Lord Duberly resolves to resign, unless this + negotiation for peace be made a Cabinet question.” + </p> + <p> + “Pshaw! let him resign. I have opposed the peace so long that it is out of + the question. Of course, Lord Wansted will not think of it, and he may + count on my boroughs. A peace!—shameful, disgraceful, dastardly + proposition!” + </p> + <p> + “But, my dear lord, my letter says that this unexpected firmness on the + part of Lord Daberly has produced so great a sensation that, seeing the + impossibility of forming a durable Cabinet without him, the king has + consented to the negotiation, and Duberly stays in!” + </p> + <p> + “The devil!—what next?” + </p> + <p> + “Raffden and Sternhold go out in favour of Baldwin and Charlton, and in + the hope that you will lend your aid to—” + </p> + <p> + “I!” said Lord Mauleverer, very angrily,—“I lend my aid to Baldwin, + the Jacobin, and Charlton, the son of a brewer!” + </p> + <p> + “Very true!” continued Brandon. “But in the hope that you might be + persuaded to regard the new arrangements with an indulgent eye, you are + talked of instead of the Duke of for the vacant garter and the office of + chamberlain.” + </p> + <p> + “You don't mean it!” cried Mauleverer, starting from his bed. + </p> + <p> + “A few other (but, I hear, chiefly legal) promotions are to be made. Among + the rest, my learned brother, the democrat Sarsden, is to have a silk + gown; Cromwell is to be attorney-general; and, between ourselves, they + have offered me a judgeship.” + </p> + <p> + “But the garter!” said Mauleverer, scarcely hearing the rest of the + lawyer's news,—“the whole object, aim, and ambition of my life. How + truly kind in the king! After all,” continued the earl, laughing, and + throwing himself back, “opinions are variable, truth is not uniform. The + times change, not we; and we must have peace instead of war!” + </p> + <p> + “Your maxims are indisputable, and the conclusion you come to is + excellent,” said Brandon. + </p> + <p> + “Why, you and I, my dear fellow,” said the earl, “who know men, and who + have lived all our lives in the world, must laugh behind the scenes at the + cant we wrap in tinsel, and send out to stalk across the stage. We know + that our Coriolanus of Tory integrity is a corporal kept by a prostitute, + and the Brutus of Whig liberty is a lacquey turned out of place for + stealing the spoons; but we must not tell this to the world. So, Brandon, + you must write me a speech for the next session, and be sure it has plenty + of general maxims, and concludes with 'my bleeding country!'” + </p> + <p> + The lawyer smiled. “You consent then to the expulsion of Sternhold and + Raffden? for, after all, that is the question. Our British vessel, as the + d—-d metaphor-mongers call the State, carries the public good safe + in the hold like brandy; and it is only when fear, storm, or the devil + makes the rogues quarrel among themselves and break up the casks, that one + gets above a thimbleful at a time. We should go on fighting with the rest + of the world forever, if the ministers had not taken to fight among + themselves.” + </p> + <p> + “As for Sternhold,” said the earl, “'t is a vulgar dog, and voted for + economical reform. Besides, I don't know him; he may go to the devil, for + aught I care; but Raffden must be dealt handsomely with, or, despite the + garter, I will fall back among the Whigs, who, after all, give tolerable + dinners.” + </p> + <p> + “But why, my lord, must Raffden be treated better than his brother + recusant?” + </p> + <p> + “Because he sent me, in the handsomest manner possible, a pipe of that + wonderful Madeira, which you know I consider the chief grace of my + cellars, and he gave up a canal navigation bill, which would have enriched + his whole county, when he knew that it would injure my property. No, + Brandon, curse public cant! we know what that is. But we are gentlemen, + and our private friends must not be thrown overboard,—unless, at + least, we do it in the civilest manner we can.” + </p> + <p> + “Fear not,” said the lawyer; “you have only to say the word, and the + Cabinet can cook up an embassy to Owhyhee, and send Raffden there with a + stipend of five thousand a year.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! that's well thought of; or we might give him a grant of a hundred + thousand acres in one of the colonies, or let him buy crown land at a + discount of eighty per cent. So that's settled.” + </p> + <p> + “And now, my dear friend,” said Brandon, “I will tell you frankly why I + come so early; I am required to give a hasty answer to the proposal I have + received, namely, of the judgeship. Your opinion?” + </p> + <p> + “A judgeship! you a judge? What! forsake your brilliant career for so + petty a dignity? You jest!” + </p> + <p> + “Not at all. Listen. You know how bitterly I have opposed this peace, and + what hot enemies I have made among the new friends of the administration. + On the one hand, these enemies insist on sacrificing me; and on the other, + if I were to stay in the Lower House and speak for what I have before + opposed, I should forfeit the support of a great portion of my own party. + Hated by one body, and mistrusted by the other, a seat in the House of + Commons ceases to be an object. It is proposed that I should retire on the + dignity of a judge, with the positive and pledged though secret promise of + the first vacancy among the chiefs. The place of chief-justice or + chief-baron is indeed the only fair remuneration for my surrender of the + gains of my profession, and the abandonment of my parliamentary and legal + career; the title, which will of course be attached to it, might go (at + least, by an exertion of interest) to the eldest son of my niece,—in + case she married a commoner,—or,” added he, after a pause, “her + second son in case she married a peer.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, true!” said Mauleverer, quickly, and as if struck by some sudden + thought; “and your charming niece, Brandon, would be worthy of any honour, + either to her children or herself. You do not know how struck I was with + her. There is something so graceful in her simplicity; and in her manner + of smoothing down the little rugosities of Warlock House there was so + genuine and so easy a dignity that I declare I almost thought myself young + again, and capable of the self-cheat of believing myself in love. But, oh! + Brandon, imagine me at your brother's board,—me, for whom ortolans + are too substantial, and who feel, when I tread, the slightest inequality + in the carpets of Tournay,—imagine me, dear Brandon, in a black + wainscot room, hung round with your ancestors in brown wigs with posies in + their button-hole; an immense fire on one side, and a thorough draught on + the other; a huge circle of beef before me, smoking like Vesuvius, and + twice as large; a plateful (the plate was pewter,—is there not a + metal so called?) of this mingled flame and lava sent under my very + nostril, and upon pain of ill-breeding to be despatched down my proper + mouth; an old gentleman in fustian breeches and worsted stockings, by way + of a butler, filling me a can of ale, and your worthy brother asking me if + I would not prefer port; a lean footman in livery,—such a livery, ye + gods!—scarlet, blue, yellow, and green, a rainbow ill made!—on + the opposite side of the table, looking at the 'Lord' with eyes and mouth + equally open, and large enough to swallow me; and your excellent brother + himself at the head of the table glowing through the mists of the beef, + like the rising sun in a signpost; and then, Brandon, turning from this + image, behold beside me the fair, delicate, aristocratic, yet simple + loveliness of your niece, and—But you look angry; I have offended + you?” + </p> + <p> + It was high time for Mauleverer to ask that question, for during the whole + of the earl's recital the dark face of his companion had literally burned + with rage; and here we may observe how generally selfishness, which makes + the man of the world, prevents its possessor, by a sort of paradox, from + being consummately so. For Mauleverer, occupied by the pleasure he felt at + his own wit, and never having that magic sympathy with others which + creates the incessantly keen observer, had not for a moment thought that + he was offending to the quick the hidden pride of the lawyer. Nay, so + little did he suspect Brandon's real weaknesses that he thought him a + philosopher who would have laughed alike at principles and people, however + near to him might be the latter, and however important the former. + Mastering by a single effort, which restored his cheek to its usual steady + hue, the outward signs of his displeasure, Brandon rejoined,— + </p> + <p> + “Offend me! By no means, my dear lord. I do not wonder at your painful + situation in an old country-gentleman's house, which has not for centuries + offered scenes fit for the presence of so distinguished a guest,—never, + I may say, since the time when Sir Charles de Brandon entertained + Elizabeth at Warlock, and your ancestor (you know my old musty studies on + those points of obscure antiquity), John Mauleverer, who was a noted + goldsmith of London, supplied the plate for the occasion.” + </p> + <p> + “Fairly retorted,” said Mauleverer, smiling; for though the earl had a + great contempt for low birth set on high places in other men, he was + utterly void of pride in his own family,—“fairly retorted! But I + never meant anything else but a laugh at your brother's housekeeping,—a + joke surely permitted to a man whose own fastidiousness on these matters + is so standing a jest. But, by heavens, Brandon! to turn from these + subjects, your niece is the prettiest girl I have seen for twenty years; + and if she would forget my being the descendant of John Mauleverer, the + noted goldsmith of London, she may be Lady Mauleverer as soon as she + pleases.” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, now, let us be serious, and talk of the judgeship,” said Brandon, + affecting to treat the proposal as a joke. + </p> + <p> + “By the soul of Sir Charles de Brandon, I am serious!” cried the earl; + “and as a proof of it, I hope you will let me pay my respects to your + niece to-day,—not with my offer in my hand yet, for it must be a + love match on both sides.” And the earl, glancing towards an opposite + glass, which reflected his attenuated but comely features beneath his + velvet nightcap trimmed with Mechlin, laughed half-triumphantly as he + spoke. + </p> + <p> + A sneer just passed the lips of Brandon, and as instantly vanished, while + Mauleverer continued,— + </p> + <p> + “And as for the judgeship, dear Brandon, I advise you to accept it, though + you know best; and I do think no man will stand a fairer chance of the + chief-justiceship,—or, though it be somewhat unusual for 'common' + lawyers, why not the woolsack itself? As you say, the second son of your + niece might inherit the dignity of a peerage!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, I will consider of it favourably,” said Brandon; and soon + afterwards he left the nobleman to renew his broken repose. + </p> + <p> + “I can't laugh at that man,” said Mauleverer to himself, as he turned + round in his bed, “though he has much that I should laugh at in another; + and, faith, there is one little matter I might well scorn him for, if I + were not a philosopher. 'T is a pretty girl, his niece, and with proper + instructions might do one credit; besides, she has L60,000 ready money; + and, faith, I have not a shilling for my own pleasure, though I have—or + alas! had—fifty thousand a year for that of my establishment! In all + probability she will be the lawyer's heiress, and he must have made at + least as much again as her portion; nor is he, poor devil, a very good + life. Moreover, if he rise to the peerage? and the second son—Well! + well! it will not be such a bad match for the goldsmith's descendant + either!” + </p> + <p> + With that thought, Lord Mauleverer fell asleep. He rose about noon, + dressed himself with unusual pains, and was just going forth on a visit to + Miss Brandon, when he suddenly remembered that her uncle had not mentioned + her address or his own. He referred to the lawyer's note of the preceding + evening; no direction was inscribed on it; and Mauleverer was forced, with + much chagrin, to forego for that day the pleasure he had promised himself. + </p> + <p> + In truth, the wary lawyer, who, as we have said, despised show and outward + appearances as much as any man, was yet sensible of their effect even in + the eyes of a lover; and moreover, Lord Mauleverer was one whose habits of + life were calculated to arouse a certain degree of vigilance on points of + household pomp even in the most unobservant. Brandon therefore resolved + that Lucy should not be visited by her admirer till the removal to their + new abode was effected; nor was it till the third day from that on which + Mauleverer had held with Brandon the interview we have recorded, that the + earl received a note from Brandon, seemingly turning only on political + matters, but inscribed with the address and direction in full form. + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer answered it in person. He found Lucy at home, and more + beautiful than ever; and from that day his mind was made up, as the mammas + say, and his visits became constant. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + There is a festival where knights and dames, + And aught that wealth or lofty lineage claims, + Appear. + + 'T is he,—how came he thence? + What doth he here? + Lara. +</pre> + <p> + There are two charming situations in life for a woman,—one, the + first freshness of heiressship and beauty; the other, youthful widowhood, + with a large jointure. It was at least Lucy's fortune to enjoy the first. + No sooner was she fairly launched into the gay world than she became the + object of universal idolatry. Crowds followed her wherever she moved + nothing was talked of or dreamed of, toasted or betted on, but Lucy + Brandon; even her simplicity, and utter ignorance of the arts of fine + life, enhanced the eclat of her reputation. Somehow or other, young people + of the gentler sex are rarely ill-bred, even in their eccentricities; and + there is often a great deal of grace in inexperience. Her uncle, who + accompanied her everywhere, himself no slight magnet of attraction, viewed + her success with a complacent triumph which he suffered no one but her + father or herself to detect. To the smooth coolness of his manner, nothing + would have seemed more foreign than pride at the notice gained by a + beauty, or exultation at any favour won from the caprices of fashion. As + for the good old squire, one would have imagined him far more the invalid + than his brother. He was scarcely ever seen; for though he went + everywhere, he was one of those persons who sink into a corner the moment + they enter a room. Whoever discovered him in his retreat, held out their + hands, and exclaimed, “God bless me! you here! We have not seen you for + this age!” Now and then, if in a very dark niche of the room a card-table + had been placed, the worthy gentleman toiled through an obscure rubber; + but more frequently he sat with his hands clasped and his mouth open, + counting the number of candles in the room, or calculating “when that + stupid music would be over.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Mauleverer, though a polished and courteous man, whose great object + was necessarily to ingratiate himself with the father of his intended + bride, had a horror of being bored, which surpassed all other feelings in + his mind. He could not therefore persuade himself to submit to the + melancholy duty of listening to the squire's “linked speeches long drawn + out.” He always glided by the honest man's station, seemingly in an + exceeding hurry, with a “Ah, my dear sir, how do you do? How delighted I + am to see you! And your incomparable daughter? Oh, there she is! Pardon + me, dear sir,—you see my attraction.” + </p> + <p> + Lucy, indeed, who never forgot any one (except herself occasionally), + sought her father's retreat as often as she was able; but her engagements + were so incessant that she no sooner lost one partner than she was claimed + and carried off by another. However, the squire bore his solitude with + tolerable cheerfulness, and always declared that “he was very well amused; + although balls and concerts were necessarily a little dull to one who came + from a fine old place like Warlock Manor-house, and it was not the same + thing that pleased young ladies (for, to them, that fiddling and giggling + till two o'clock in the morning might be a very pretty way of killing + time) and their papas!” + </p> + <p> + What considerably added to Lucy's celebrity was the marked notice and + admiration of a man so high in rank and ton as Lord Mauleverer. That + personage, who still retained much of a youthful mind and temper, and who + was in his nature more careless than haughty, preserved little or no state + in his intercourse with the social revellers at Bath. He cared not whither + he went, so that he was in the train of the young beauty; and the most + fastidious nobleman of the English court was seen in every second and + third rate set of a great watering-place,—the attendant, the flirt, + and often the ridicule of the daughter of an obscure and almost + insignificant country squire. Despite the honour of so distinguished a + lover, and despite all the novelties of her situation, the pretty head of + Lucy Brandon was as yet, however, perfectly unturned; and as for her + heart, the only impression that it had ever received was made by that + wandering guest of the village rector, whom she had never again seen, but + who yet clung to her imagination, invested not only with all the graces + which in right of a singularly handsome person he possessed, but with + those to which he never could advance a claim,—more dangerous to her + peace, for the very circumstance of their origin in her fancy, not his + merits. + </p> + <p> + They had now been some little time at Bath, and Brandon's brief respite + was pretty nearly expired, when a public ball of uncommon and manifold + attraction was announced. It was to be graced not only by the presence of + all the surrounding families, but also by that of royalty itself; it being + an acknowledged fact that people dance much better and eat much more + supper when any relation to a king is present. + </p> + <p> + “I must stay for this ball, Lucy,” said Brandon, who, after spending the + day with Lord Mauleverer, returned home in a mood more than usually + cheerful,—“I must stay for this one ball, Lucy, and witness your + complete triumph, even though it will be necessary to leave you the very + next morning.” + </p> + <p> + “So soon!” cried Lucy. + </p> + <p> + “So soon!” echoed the uncle, with a smile. “How good you are to speak thus + to an old valetudinarian, whose company must have fatigued you to death! + Nay, no pretty denials! But the great object of my visit to this place is + accomplished: I have seen you, I have witnessed your debut in the great + world, with, I may say, more than a father's exultation, and I go back to + my dry pursuits with the satisfaction of thinking our old and withered + genealogical tree has put forth one blossom worthy of its freshest day.” + </p> + <p> + “Uncle!” said Lucy, reprovingly, and holding up her taper finger with an + arch smile, mingling with a blush, in which the woman's vanity spoke, + unknown to herself. + </p> + <p> + “And why that look, Lucy?” said Brandon. + </p> + <p> + “Because—because—well, no matter! you have been bred to that + trade in which, as you say yourself, men tell untruths for others till + they lose all truth for themselves. But let us talk of you, not me; are + you really well enough to leave us?” + </p> + <p> + Simple and even cool as the words of Lucy's question, when written, + appear, in her mouth they took so tender, so anxious a tone, that Brandon, + who had no friend nor wife nor child, nor any one in his household in whom + interest in his health or welfare was a thing of course, and who was + consequently wholly unaccustomed to the accent of kindness, felt himself + of a sudden touched and stricken. + </p> + <p> + “Why, indeed, Lucy,” said he, in a less artificial voice than that in + which he usually spoke, “I should like still to profit by your cares, and + forget my infirmities and pains in your society; but I cannot: the tide of + events, like that of nature, waits not our pleasure!” + </p> + <p> + “But we may take our own time for setting sail!” said Lucy. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, this comes of talking in metaphor,” rejoined Brandon, smiling; “they + who begin it always get the worst of it. In plain words, dear Lucy, I can + give no more time to my own ailments. A lawyer cannot play truant in + term-time without—” + </p> + <p> + “Losing a few guineas!” said Lucy, interrupting him. + </p> + <p> + “Worse than that,—his practice and his name.” + </p> + <p> + “Better those than health and peace of mind.” + </p> + <p> + “Out on you, no!” said Brandon, quickly, and almost fiercely. “We waste + all the greenness and pith of our life in striving to gain a distinguished + slavery; and when it is gained, we must not think that an humble + independence would have been better. If we ever admit that thought, what + fools, what lavish fools, we have been! No!” continued Brandon, after a + momentary pause, and in a tone milder and gayer, though not less + characteristic of the man's stubbornness of will, “after losing all + youth's enjoyments and manhood's leisure, in order that in age the mind, + the all-conquering mind, should break its way at last into the applauding + opinions of men, I should be an effeminate idler indeed, did I suffer, so + long as its jarring parts hold together, or so long as I have the power to + command its members, this weak body to frustrate the labour of its better + and nobler portion, and command that which it is ordained to serve.” + </p> + <p> + Lucy knew not while she listened, half in fear, half in admiration, to her + singular relation, that at the very moment he thus spoke, his disease was + preying upon him in one of its most relentless moods, without the power of + wringing from him a single outward token of his torture. But she wanted + nothing to increase her pity and affection for a man who in consequence, + perhaps, of his ordinary surface of worldly and cold properties of + temperament never failed to leave an indelible impression on all who had + ever seen that temperament broken through by deeper though often by more + evil feelings. + </p> + <p> + “Shall you go to Lady————'s rout?” asked Brandon, + easily sliding back into common topics. “Lord Mauleverer requested me to + ask you.” + </p> + <p> + “That depends on you and my father.” + </p> + <p> + “If on me, I answer yes,” said Brandon. “I like hearing Mauleverer, + especially among persons who do not understand him. There is a refined and + subtle sarcasm running through the commonplaces of his conversation, which + cuts the good fools, like the invisible sword in the fable, that lopped + off heads without occasioning the owners any other sensation than a + pleasing and self-complacent titillation. How immeasurably superior he is + in manner and address to all we meet here! Does it not strike you?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes—no—I can't say that it does exactly,” rejoined Lucy. + </p> + <p> + “Is that confusion tender?” thought Brandon. + </p> + <p> + “In a word,” continued Lucy, “Lord Mauleverer is one whom I think pleasing + without fascination, and amusing without brilliancy. He is evidently + accomplished in mind and graceful in manner, and withal the most + uninteresting person I ever met.” + </p> + <p> + “Women have not often thought so,” said Brandon. “I cannot believe that + they can think otherwise.” + </p> + <p> + A certain expression, partaking of scorn, played over Brandon's hard + features. It was a noticeable trait in him, that while he was most anxious + to impress Lucy with a favourable opinion of Lord Mauleverer, he was never + quite able to mask a certain satisfaction at any jest at the earl's + expense, or any opinion derogatory to his general character for pleasing + the opposite sex; and this satisfaction was no sooner conceived than it + was immediately combated by the vexation he felt that Lucy did not seem to + share his own desire that she should become the wife of the courtier. + There appeared as if in that respect there was a contest in his mind + between interest on one hand and private dislike or contempt on the other. + </p> + <p> + “You judge women wrongly!” said Brandon. “Ladies never know each other; of + all persons, Mauleverer is best calculated to win them, and experience has + proved my assertion. The proudest lot I know for a woman would be the + thorough conquest of Lord Mauleverer; but it is impossible. He may be + gallant, but he will never be subdued. He defies the whole female world, + and with justice and impunity. Enough of him. Sing to me, dear Lucy.” + </p> + <p> + The time for the ball approached; and Lucy, who was a charming girl and + had nothing of the angel about her, was sufficiently fond of gayety, + dancing, music, and admiration to feel her heart beat high at the + expectation of the event. + </p> + <p> + At last the day itself came. Brandon dined alone with Mauleverer, having + made the arrangement that he, with the earl, was to join his brother and + niece at the ball. Mauleverer, who hated state, except on great occasions, + when no man displayed it with a better grace, never suffered his servants + to wait at dinner when he was alone or with one of his peculiar friends. + The attendants remained without, and were summoned at will by a bell laid + beside the host. + </p> + <p> + The conversation was unrestrained. + </p> + <p> + “I am perfectly certain, Brandon,” said Mauleverer, “that if you were to + live tolerably well, you would soon get the better of your nervous + complaints. It is all poverty of blood, believe me. Some more of the fins, + eh?—No! Oh, hang your abstemiousness; it is d——d + unfriendly to eat so little! Talking of fins and friends, Heaven defend me + from ever again forming an intimacy with a pedantic epicure, especially if + he puns!” + </p> + <p> + “Why, what has a pedant to do with fins?” + </p> + <p> + “I will tell you,—ah, this madeira—I suggested to Lord + Dareville, who affects the gourmand, what a capital thing a dish all fins + (turbot's fins) might be made. 'Capital!' said he, in a rapture; 'dine on + it with me to-morrow.' 'Volontiers!' said I. The next day, after indulging + in a pleasing revery all the morning as to the manner in which Dareville's + cook, who is not without genius, would accomplish the grand idea, I betook + myself punctually to my engagement. Would you believe it? When the cover + was removed, the sacrilegious dog of an Amphitryon had put into the dish + Cicero's 'De Finibus.' 'There is a work all fins!' said he. “Atrocious + jest!” exclaimed Brandon, solemnly. + </p> + <p> + “Was it not? Whenever the gastronomists set up a religious inquisition, I + trust they will roast every impious rascal who treats the divine mystery + with levity. Pun upon cooking, indeed! A propos of Dareville, he is to + come into the administration.” + </p> + <p> + “You astonish me!” said Brandon. “I never heard that; I don't know him. He + has very little power; has he any talent?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, a very great one,—acquired, though.” + </p> + <p> + “What is it?” + </p> + <p> + “A pretty wife!” + </p> + <p> + “My lord!” exclaimed Brandon, abruptly, and half rising from his seat. + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer looked up hastily, and on seeing the expression of his + companion's face coloured deeply; there was a silence for some moments. + </p> + <p> + “Tell me,” said Brandon, indifferently, helping himself to vegetables, for + he seldom touched meat; and a more amusing contrast can scarcely be + conceived than that between the earnest epicurism of Mauleverer and the + careless contempt of the sublime art manifested by his guest,—“tell + me, you who necessarily know everything, whether the government really is + settled,—whether you are to have the garter, and I (mark the + difference!) the judgeship.” + </p> + <p> + “Why so, I imagine, it will be arranged; namely, if you will consent to + hang up the rogues instead of living by the fools!” + </p> + <p> + “One may unite both!” returned Brandon. “But I believe, in general, it is + vice versa; for we live by the rogues, and it is only the fools we are + able to hang up. You ask me if I will take the judgeship. I would not—no, + I would rather cut my hand off,” and the lawyer spoke with great + bitterness, “forsake my present career, despite all the obstacles that now + encumber it, did I think that this miserable body would suffer me for two + years longer to pursue it.” + </p> + <p> + “You shock me!” said Mauleverer, a little affected, but nevertheless + applying the cayenne to his cucumber with his usual unerring nicety of + tact,—“you shock me; but you are considerably better than you were.” + </p> + <p> + “It is not,” continued Brandon, who was rather speaking to himself than to + his friend,—“it is not that I am unable to conquer the pain and to + master the recreant nerves; but I feel myself growing weaker and weaker + beneath the continual exertion of my remaining powers, and I shall die + before I have gained half my objects, if I do not leave the labours which + are literally tearing me to pieces.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Lord Mauleverer, who was the idlest of men, “the judgeship is + not an easy sinecure.” + </p> + <p> + “No; but there is less demand on the mind in that station than in my + present one;” and Brandon paused before he continued. “Candidly, + Mauleverer, you do not think they will deceive me,—you do not think + they mean to leave me to this political death without writing 'Resurgam' + over the hatchment?” + </p> + <p> + “They dare not!” said Mauleverer, quaffing his fourth glass of madeira. + </p> + <p> + “Well, I have decided on my change of life,” said the lawyer, with a + slight sigh. + </p> + <p> + “So have I on my change of opinion,” chimed in the earl. “I will tell you + what opinions seem to me like.” + </p> + <p> + “What?” said Brandon, abstractedly. + </p> + <p> + “Trees!” answered Mauleverer, quaintly. “If they can be made serviceable + by standing, don't part with a stick; but when they are of that growth + that sells well, or whenever they shut out a fine prospect, cut them down, + and pack them off by all manner of means!—And now for the second + course.” + </p> + <p> + “I wonder,” said the earl, when our political worthies were again alone, + “whether there ever existed a minister who cared three straws for the + people; many care for their party, but as for the country—” + </p> + <p> + “It is all fiddlestick!” added the lawyer, with more significance than + grace. + </p> + <p> + “Right; it is all fiddlestick, as you tersely express it. King, + Constitution, and Church, forever! which, being interpreted, means, first, + King or Crown influence, judgeships, and garters; secondly, Constitution, + or fees to the lawyer, places to the statesman, laws for the rich, and + Game Laws for the poor; thirdly, Church, or livings for our younger sons, + and starvings for their curates!” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha!” said Brandon, laughing sardonically; “we know human nature!” + </p> + <p> + “And how it may be gulled!” quoth the courtier. “Here's a health to your + niece; and may it not be long before you hail her as your friend's bride!” + </p> + <p> + “Bride, et cetera,” said Brandon, with a sneer meant only for his own + satisfaction. “But mark me, my dear lord, do not be too sure of her. She + is a singular girl, and of more independence than the generality of women. + She will not think of your rank and station in estimating you; she will + think only of their owner; and pardon me if I suggest to you, who know the + sex so well, one plan that it may not be unadvisable for you to pursue. + Don't let her fancy you entirely hers; rouse her jealousy, pique her + pride, let her think you unconquerable, and unless she is unlike all + women, she will want to conquer you.” + </p> + <p> + The earl smiled. “I must take my chance!” said he, with a confident tone. + </p> + <p> + “The hoary coxcomb!” muttered Brandon, between his teeth; “now will his + folly spoil all.” + </p> + <p> + “And that reminds me,” continued Mauleverer, “that time wanes, and dinner + is not over; let us not hurry, but let us be silent, to enjoy the more. + These truffles in champagne,—do taste them; they would raise the + dead.” + </p> + <p> + The lawyer smiled, and accepted the kindness, though he left the delicacy + untouched; and Mauleverer, whose soul was in his plate, saw not the + heartless rejection. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile the youthful beauty had already entered the theatre of pleasure, + and was now seated with the squire at the upper end of the half-filled + ball-room. + </p> + <p> + A gay lady of the fashion at that time, and of that half and half rank to + which belonged the aristocracy of Bath,—one of those curious persons + we meet with in the admirable novels of Miss Burney, as appertaining to + the order of fine ladies,—made the trio with our heiress and her + father, and pointed out to them by name the various characters that + entered the apartments. She was still in the full tide of scandal, when an + unusual sensation was visible in the environs of the door; three strangers + of marked mien, gay dress, and an air which, though differing in each, was + in all alike remarkable for a sort of “dashing” assurance, made their + entree. One was of uncommon height, and possessed of an exceedingly fine + head of hair; another was of a more quiet and unpretending aspect, but + nevertheless he wore upon his face a supercilious yet not ill-humoured + expression; the third was many years younger than his companions, + strikingly handsome in face and figure, altogether of a better taste in + dress, and possessing a manner that, though it had equal ease, was not + equally noticeable for impudence and swagger. + </p> + <p> + “Who can those be?” said Lucy's female friend, in a wondering tone. “I + never saw them before,—they must be great people,—they have + all the airs of persons of quality! Dear, how odd that I should not know + them!” + </p> + <p> + While the good lady, who, like all good ladies of that stamp, thought + people of quality had airs, was thus lamenting her ignorance of the + new-comers, a general whisper of a similar import was already circulating + round the room, “Who are they?” and the universal answer was, “Can't tell,—never + saw them before!” + </p> + <p> + Our strangers seemed by no means displeased with the evident and immediate + impression they had made. They stood in the most conspicuous part of the + room, enjoying among themselves a low conversation, frequently broken by + fits of laughter,—tokens, we need not add, of their supereminently + good breeding. The handsome figure of the youngest stranger, and the + simple and seemingly unconscious grace of his attitudes were not, however, + unworthy of the admiration he excited; and even his laughter, rude as it + really was, displayed so dazzling a set of teeth, and was accompanied by + such brilliant eyes, that before he had been ten minutes in the room there + was scarcely a young lady under thirty-nine not disposed to fall in love + with him. + </p> + <p> + Apparently heedless of the various remarks which reached their ears, our + strangers, after they had from their station sufficiently surveyed the + beauties of the ball, strolled arm-in-arm through the rooms. Having + sauntered through the ball and card rooms, they passed the door that led + to the entrance passage, and gazed, with other loiterers, upon the + new-comers ascending the stairs. Here the two younger strangers renewed + their whispered conversation, while the eldest, who was also the tallest + one, carelessly leaning against the wall, employed himself for a few + moments in thrusting his fingers through his hair. In finishing this + occupation, the peculiar state of his rules forced itself upon the + observation of our gentleman, who, after gazing for some moments on an + envious rent in the right ruffle, muttered some indistinct words, like + “the cock of that confounded pistol,” and then tucked up the mutilated + ornament with a peculiarly nimble motion of the fingers of his left hand; + the next moment, diverted by a new care, the stranger applied his digital + members to the arranging and caressing of a remarkably splendid brooch, + set in the bosom of a shirt the rude texture of which formed a singular + contrast with the magnificence of the embellishment and the fineness of + the one ruffle suffered by our modern Hyperion to make its appearance + beneath his cinnamon-coloured coatsleeve. These little personal + arrangements completed, and a dazzling snuff-box released from the + confinement of a side-pocket, tapped thrice, and lightened of two pinches + of its titillating luxury, the stranger now, with the guardian eye of + friendship, directed a searching glance to the dress of his friends. There + all appeared meet for his strictest scrutiny, save, indeed, that the + supercilious-looking stranger having just drawn forth his gloves, the + lining of his coat-pocket which was rather soiled into the bargain—had + not returned to its internal station; the tall stranger, seeing this + little inelegance, kindly thrust three fingers with a sudden and light + dive into his friend's pocket, and effectually repulsed the forwardness of + the intrusive lining. The supercilious stranger no sooner felt the touch + than he started back, and whispered to his officious companion,— + </p> + <p> + “What! among friends, Ned! Fie now; curb the nature of thee for one night + at least.” + </p> + <p> + Before he of the flowing locks had time to answer, the master of the + ceremonies, who had for the last three minutes been eying the strangers + through his glass, stepped forward with a sliding bow; and the handsome + gentleman, taking upon himself the superiority and precedence over his + comrades, was the first to return the courtesy. He did this with so good a + grace and so pleasing an expression of countenance that the censor of bows + was charmed at once, and with a second and more profound salutation + announced himself and his office. “You would like to dance probably, + gentlemen?” he asked, glancing at each, but directing his words to the one + who had prepossessed him. + </p> + <p> + “You are very good,” said the comely stranger; “and, for my part, I shall + be extremely indebted to you for the exercise of your powers in my behalf. + Allow me to return with you to the ball-room, and I can there point out to + you the objects of my especial admiration.” + </p> + <p> + The master of the ceremonies bowed as before, and he and his new + acquaintance strolled into the ball-room, followed by the two comrades of + the latter. + </p> + <p> + “Have you been long in Bath, sir?” inquired the monarch of the rooms. + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed! we only arrived this evening.” + </p> + <p> + “From London?” + </p> + <p> + “No; we made a little tour across the country.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! very pleasant, this fine weather.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes; especially in the evenings.” + </p> + <p> + “Oho! romantic!” thought the man of balls, as he rejoined aloud, “Why, the + nights are agreeable, and the moon is particularly favourable to us.” + </p> + <p> + “Not always!” quoth the stranger. + </p> + <p> + “True, true, the night before last was dark; but, in general, surely the + moon has been very bright.” + </p> + <p> + The stranger was about to answer, but checked himself, and simply bowed + his head as in assent. + </p> + <p> + “I wonder who they are!” thought the master of the ceremonies. “Pray, + sir,” said he, in a low tone, “is that gentle man, that tall gentleman, + any way related to Lord —————? I cannot but + think I see a family likeness.” + </p> + <p> + “Not in the least related to his lordship,” answered the stranger; “but he + is of a family that have made a noise in the world; though he, as well as + my other friend, is merely a commoner!” laying a stress on the last word. + </p> + <p> + “Nothing, sir, can be more respectable than a commoner of family,” + returned the polite Mr. ———-, with a bow. + </p> + <p> + “I agree with you, sir,” answered the stranger, with another. “But, + heavens!”—and the stranger started; for at that moment his eye + caught for the first time, at the far end of the room, the youthful and + brilliant countenance of Lucy Brandon,—“do I see rightly, or is that + Miss Brandon?” + </p> + <p> + “It is indeed that lovely young lady,” said Mr. ———-. “I + congratulate you on knowing one so admired. I suppose that you, being + blessed with her acquaintance, do not need the formality of my + introduction?” + </p> + <p> + “Umph!” said the stranger, rather shortly and uncourteously. “No! Perhaps + you had better present me!” + </p> + <p> + “By what name shall I have that honour, sir?” discreetly inquired the + nomenclator. + </p> + <p> + “Clifford!” answered the stranger; “Captain Clifford!” Upon this the prim + master of the ceremonies, threading his path through the now fast-filling + room, approached towards Lucy to obey Mr. Clifford's request. Meanwhile + that gentleman, before he followed the steps of the tutelary spirit of the + place, paused and said to his friends, in a tone careless yet not without + command, “Hark ye, gentlemen; oblige me by being as civil and silent as ye + are able; and don't thrust yourselves upon me, as you are accustomed to + do, whenever you see no opportunity of indulging me with that honour with + the least show of propriety!” So saying, and waiting no reply, Mr. + Clifford hastened after the master of the ceremonies. + </p> + <p> + “Our friend grows mighty imperious!” said Long Ned, whom our readers have + already recognized in the tall stranger. + </p> + <p> + “'T is the way with your rising geniuses,” answered the moralizing + Augustus Tomlinson. “Suppose we go to the cardroom and get up a rubber!” + </p> + <p> + “Well thought of,” said Ned, yawning,—a thing he was very apt to do + in society; “and I wish nothing worse to those who try our rubbers than + that they may be well cleaned by them.” Upon this witticism the Colossus + of Roads, glancing towards the glass, strutted off, arm-in-arm with his + companion, to the card-room. + </p> + <p> + During this short conversation the re-introduction of Mr. Clifford (the + stranger of the Rectory and deliverer of Dr. Slopperton) to Lucy Brandon + had been effected, and the hand of the heiress was already engaged, + according to the custom of that time, for the two ensuing dances. + </p> + <p> + It was about twenty minutes after the above presentation had taken place + that Lord Mauleverer and William Brandon entered the rooms; and the buzz + created by the appearance of the noted peer and the distinguished lawyer + had scarcely subsided, before the royal personage expected to grace the + “festive scene” (as the newspapers say of a great room with plenty of + miserable-looking people in it) arrived. The most attractive persons in + Europe may be found among the royal family of England, and the great + personage then at Bath, in consequence of certain political intrigues, + wished, at that time especially, to make himself as popular as possible. + Having gone the round of the old ladies, and assured them, as the “Court + Journal” assures the old ladies at this day, that they were “morning + stars” and “swan-like wonders,” the prince espied Brandon, and immediately + beckoned to him with a familiar gesture. The smooth but saturnine lawyer + approached the royal presence with the manner that peculiarly + distinguished him, and which blended in no ungraceful mixture a species of + stiffness that passed with the crowd for native independence, with a + supple insinuation that was usually deemed the token of latent benevolence + of heart. There was something, indeed, in Brandon's address that always + pleased the great; and they liked him the better because, though he stood + on no idle political points, mere differences in the view taken of a + hairbreadth,—such as a corn-law or a Catholic bill, alteration in + the Church or a reform in parliament,—yet he invariably talked so + like a man of honour (except when with Mauleverer) that his urbanity + seemed attachment to individuals, and his concessions to power sacrifices + of private opinion for the sake of obliging his friends. + </p> + <p> + “I am very glad indeed,” said the royal personage, “to see Mr. Brandon + looking so much better. Never was the crown in greater want of his + services; and if rumour speak true, they will soon be required in another + department of his profession.” + </p> + <p> + Brandon bowed, and answered,— + </p> + <p> + “So please your royal highness, they will always be at the command of a + king from whom I have experienced such kindness, in any capacity for + which his Majesty may deem them fitting.” + </p> + <p> + “It is true, then!” said his royal highness, significantly. “I + congratulate you! The quiet dignity of the bench must seem to you a great + change after a career so busy and restless.” + </p> + <p> + “I fear I shall feel it so at first, your royal highness,” answered + Brandon, “for I like even the toil of my profession; and at this moment, + when I am in full practice, it more than ever—But” (checking himself + at once) “his Majesty's wishes, and my satisfaction in complying with + them, are more than sufficient to remove any momentary regret I might + otherwise have felt in quitting those toils which have now become to me a + second nature.” + </p> + <p> + “It is possible,” rejoined the prince, “that his Majesty took into + consideration the delicate state of health which, in common with the whole + public, I grieve to see the papers have attributed to one of the most + distinguished ornaments of the bar.” + </p> + <p> + “So please your royal highness,” answered Brandon, coolly, and with a + smile which the most piercing eye could not have believed the mask to the + agony then gnawing at his nerves, “it is the interest of my rivals to + exaggerate the little ailments of a weak constitution. I thank Providence + that I am now entirely recovered; and at no time of my life have I been + less unable to discharge—so far as my native and mental, + incapacities will allow—the duties of any occupation, however + arduous. Nay, as the brute grows accustomed to the mill, so have I grown + wedded to business; and even the brief relaxation I have now allowed + myself seems to me rather irksome than pleasurable.” + </p> + <p> + “I rejoice to hear you speak thus,” answered his royal highness, warmly; + “and I trust for many years, and,” added he, in a lower tone, “in the + highest chamber of the senate, that we may profit by your talents. The + times are those in which many occasions occur that oblige all true friends + of the Constitution to quit minor employment for that great constitutional + one that concerns us all, the highest and the meanest; and” (the royal + voice sank still lower) “I feel justified in assuring you that the office + of chief-justice alone is not considered by his Majesty as a sufficient + reward for your generous sacrifice of present ambition to the difficulties + of government.” + </p> + <p> + Brandon's proud heart swelled, and that moment the veriest pains of hell + would scarcely have been felt. + </p> + <p> + While the aspiring schemer was thus agreeably engaged, Mauleverer, sliding + through the crowd with that grace which charmed every one, old and young, + and addressing to all he knew some lively or affectionate remark, made his + way to the dancers, among whom he had just caught a glimpse of Lucy. “I + wonder,” he thought, “whom she is dancing with. I hope it is that + ridiculous fellow, Mossop, who tells a good story against himself; or that + handsome ass, Belmont, who looks at his own legs, instead of seeming to + have eyes for no one but his partner. Ah! if Tarquin had but known women + as well as I do, he would have had no reason to be rough with Lucretia. 'T + is a thousand pities that experience comes, in women as in the world, just + when it begins to be no longer of use to us!” + </p> + <p> + As he made these moral reflections, Mauleverer gained the dancers, and + beheld Lucy listening, with downcast eyes and cheeks that evidently + blushed, to a young man whom Mauleverer acknowledged at once to be one of + the best-looking fellows he had ever seen. The stranger's countenance, + despite an extreme darkness of complexion, was, to be sure, from the great + regularity of the features, rather effeminate; but, on the other hand, his + figure, though slender and graceful, betrayed to an experienced eye an + extraordinary proportion of sinew and muscle; and even the dash of + effeminacy in the countenance was accompanied by so manly and frank an + air, and was so perfectly free from all coxcombry or self-conceit, that it + did not in the least decrease the prepossessing effect of his appearance. + An angry and bitter pang shot across that portion of Mauleverer's frame + which the earl thought fit, for want of another name, to call his heart. + “How cursedly pleased she looks!” muttered he. “By Heaven! that stolen + glance under the left eyelid, dropped as suddenly as it is raised; and he—ha! + how firmly he holds that little hand! I think I see him paddle with it; + and then the dog's earnest, intent look,—and she all blushes, though + she dare not look up to meet his gaze, feeling it by intuition. Oh, the + demure, modest, shamefaced hypocrite! How silent she is! She can prate + enough to me! I would give my promised garter if she would but talk to + him. Talk, talk, laugh, prattle, only simper, in God's name, and I shall + be happy. But that bashful, blushing silence,—it is insupportable. + Thank Heaven, the dance is over! Thank Heaven, again! I have not felt such + pains since the last nightmare I had after dining with her father!” + </p> + <p> + With a face all smiles, but with a mien in which more dignity than he + ordinarily assumed was worn, Mauleverer now moved towards Lucy, who was + leaning on her partner's arm. The earl, who had ample tact where his + consummate selfishness did not warp it, knew well how to act the lover, + without running ridiculously into the folly of seeming to play the hoary + dangler. He sought rather to be lively than sentimental; and beneath the + wit to conceal the suitor. + </p> + <p> + Having paid, then, with a careless gallantry his first compliments, he + entered into so animated a conversation, interspersed with so many naive + yet palpably just observations on the characters present, that perhaps he + had never appeared to more brilliant advantage. At length, as the music + was about to recommence, Mauleverer, with a careless glance at Lucy's + partner, said, “Will Miss Brandon now allow me the agreeable duty of + conducting her to her father?” + </p> + <p> + “I believe,” answered Lucy, and her voice suddenly became timid, “that, + according to the laws of the rooms, I am engaged to this gentleman for + another dance.” + </p> + <p> + Clifford, in an assured and easy tone, replied in assent. + </p> + <p> + As he spoke. Mauleverer honoured him with a more accurate survey than he + had hitherto bestowed on him; and whether or not there was any expression + of contempt or superciliousness in the survey, it was sufficient to call + up the indignant blood to Clifford's cheek. Returning the look with + interest, he said to Lucy, “I believe, Miss Brandon, that the dance is + about to begin;” and Lucy, obeying the hint, left the aristocratic + Mauleverer to his own meditations. + </p> + <p> + At that moment the master of the ceremonies came bowing by, half afraid to + address so great a person as Mauleverer, but willing to show his respect + by the profoundness of his salutation. + </p> + <p> + “Aha! my dear Mr. ———-!” said the earl, holding out both + his hands to the Lycurgus of the rooms; “how are you? Pray can you inform + me who that young man is, now dancing with Miss Brandon?” + </p> + <p> + “It is—let me see-oh! it is a Captain Clifford, my lord! a very fine + young man, my lord! Has your lordship never met him?” + </p> + <p> + “Never! Who is he? One under your more especial patronage?” said the earl, + smiling. + </p> + <p> + “Nay, indeed!” answered the master of the ceremonies, with a simper of + gratification; “I scarcely know who he is yet; the captain only made his + appearance here to-night for the first time. He came with two other + gentlemen,—ah! there they are!” and he pointed the earl's + scrutinizing attention to the elegant forms of Mr. Augustus Tomlinson and + Mr. Ned Pepper, just emerging from the card-rooms. The swagger of the + latter gentleman was so peculiarly important that Mauleverer, angry as he + was, could scarcely help laughing. The master of the ceremonies noted the + earl's countenance, and remarked that “that fine-looking man seemed + disposed to give himself airs.” + </p> + <p> + “Judging from the gentleman's appearance,” said the earl, dryly (Ned's + face, to say truth, did betoken his affection for the bottle), “I should + imagine that he was much more accustomed to give himself thorough + draughts!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” renewed the arbiter elegantiarum, who had not heard Mauleverer's + observation, which was uttered in a very low voice,—“ah! they seem + real dashers!” + </p> + <p> + “Dashers!” repeated Mauleverer; “true, haberdashers!” Long Ned now, having + in the way of his profession acquitted himself tolerably well at the + card-table, thought he had purchased the right to parade himself through + the rooms, and show the ladies what stuff a Pepper could be made of. + </p> + <p> + Leaning with his left hand on Tomlinson's arm, and employing the right in + fanning himself furiously with his huge chapeau bras, the lengthy + adventurer stalked slowly along, now setting out one leg jauntily, now the + other, and ogling “the ladies” with a kind of Irish look,—namely, a + look between a wink and a stare. + </p> + <p> + Released from the presence of Clifford, who kept a certain check on his + companions, the apparition of Ned became glaringly conspicuous; and + wherever he passed, a universal whisper succeeded. + </p> + <p> + “Who can he be?” said the widow Matemore. “'T is a droll creature; but + what a head of hair!” + </p> + <p> + “For my part,” answered the spinster Sneerall, “I think he is a + linen-draper in disguise; for I heard him talk to his companion of + 'tape.'” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well,” thought Mauleverer, “it would be but kind to seek out + Brandon, and hint to him in what company his niece seems to have fallen!” + And so thinking, he glided to the corner where, with a gray-headed old + politician, the astute lawyer was conning the affairs of Europe. + </p> + <p> + In the interim the second dance had ended, and Clifford was conducting + Lucy to her seat, each charmed with the other, when he found himself + abruptly tapped on the back, and turning round in alarm,—for such + taps were not unfamiliar to him,—he saw the cool countenance of Long + Ned, with one finger sagaciously laid beside the nose. + </p> + <p> + “How now?” said Clifford, between his ground teeth; “did I not tell thee + to put that huge bulk of thine as far from me as possible?” + </p> + <p> + “Humph!” granted Ned; “if these are my thanks, I may as well keep my + kindness to myself; but know you, my kid, that Lawyer Brandon is here, + peering through the crowd at this very moment, in order to catch a glimpse + of that woman's face of thine.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha!” answered Clifford, in a very quick tone; “begone, then! I will meet + you without the rooms immediately.” Clifford now turned to his partner, + and bowing very low, in reality to hide his face from those sharp eyes + which had once seen it in the court of Justice Burnflat, said: “I trust, + madam, I shall have the honour to meet you again. Is it, if I may be + allowed to ask, with your celebrated uncle that you are staying, or—” + </p> + <p> + “With my father,” answered Lucy, concluding the sentence Clifford had left + unfinished; “but my uncle has been with us, though I fear he leaves us + to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + Clifford's eyes sparkled; he made no answer, but bowing again, receded + into the crowd and disappeared. Several times that night did the brightest + eyes in Somersetshire rove anxiously round the rooms in search of our + hero; but he was seen no more. + </p> + <p> + It was on the stairs that Clifford encountered his comrades; taking an arm + of each, he gained the door without any adventure worth noting, save that, + being kept back by the crowd for a few moments, the moralizing Augustus + Tomlinson, who honoured the moderate Whigs by enrolling himself among + their number, took up, pour passer le temps, a tall gold-headed cane, and + weighing it across his finger with a musing air, said, “Alas! among our + supporters we often meet heads as heavy, but of what a different metal!” + The crowd now permitting, Augustus was walking away with his companions, + and, in that absence of mind characteristic of philosophers, unconsciously + bearing with him the gold-headed object of his reflection, when a stately + footman, stepping up to him, said, “Sir, my cane!” + </p> + <p> + “Cane, fellow!” said Tomlinson. “Ah, I am so absent! Here is thy cane. + Only think of my carrying off the man's cane, Ned! Ha, ha!” + </p> + <p> + “Absent indeed!” grunted a knowing chairman, watching the receding figures + of the three gentlemen; “body o' me! but it was the cane that was about to + be absent!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Whackum. My dear rogues, dear boys, Bluster and Dingboy! you + are the bravest fellows that ever scoured yet!—SHADWELL: + Scourers. + + Cato, the Thessalian, was wont to say that some things may be + done unjustly, that many things may be done justly.—LORD BACON + (being a justification of every rascality). +</pre> + <p> + Although our three worthies had taken unto themselves a splendid lodging + in Milsom Street, which, to please Ned, was over a hairdresser's shop, + yet, instead of returning thither, or repairing to such taverns as might + seem best befitting their fashion and garb, they struck at once from the + gay parts of the town, and tarried not till they reached a mean-looking + alehouse in a remote suburb. + </p> + <p> + The door was opened to them by an elderly lady; and Clifford, stalking + before his companions into an apartment at the back of the house, asked if + the other gentlemen were come yet. + </p> + <p> + “No,” returned the dame. “Old Mr. Bags came in about ten minutes ago; but + hearing more work might be done, he went out again.” + </p> + <p> + “Bring the lush and the pipes, old blone!” cried Ned, throwing himself on + a bench; “we are never at a loss for company!” + </p> + <p> + “You, indeed, never can be, who are always inseparably connected with the + object of your admiration,” said Tomlinson, dryly, and taking up an old + newspaper. Ned, who, though choleric, was a capital fellow, and could bear + a joke on himself, smiled, and drawing forth a little pair of scissors, + began trimming his nails. + </p> + <p> + “Curse me,” said he, after a momentary silence, “if this is not a devilish + deal pleasanter than playing the fine gentleman in that great room, with a + rose in one's button-hole! What say you, Master Lovett?” + </p> + <p> + Clifford (as henceforth, despite his other aliases, we shall denominate + our hero), who had thrown himself at full length on a bench at the far end + of the room, and who seemed plunged into a sullen revery, now looked up + for a moment, and then, turning round and presenting the dorsal part of + his body to Long Ned, muttered, “Fish!” + </p> + <p> + “Harkye, Master Lovett!” said Long Ned, colouring. “I don't know what has + come over you of late; but I would have you to learn that gentlemen are + entitled to courtesy and polite behaviour; and so, d' ye see, if you ride + your high horse upon me, splice my extremities if I won't have + satisfaction!” + </p> + <p> + “Hist, man! be quiet,” said Tomlinson, philosophically, snuffing the + candles,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'For companions to quarrel, + Is extremely immoral.' +</pre> + <p> + “Don't you see that the captain is in a revery? What good man ever loves + to be interrupted in his meditations? Even Alfred the Great could not bear + it! Perhaps at this moment, with the true anxiety of a worthy chief, the + captain is designing something for our welfare!” + </p> + <p> + “Captain indeed!” muttered Long Ned, darting a wrathful look at Clifford, + who had not deigned to pay any attention to Mr. Pepper's threat; “for my + part I cannot conceive what was the matter with us when we chose this + green slip of the gallows-tree for our captain of the district. To be + sure, he did very well at first, and that robbery of the old lord was not + ill-planned; but lately—” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, nay,” quoth Augustus, interrupting the gigantic grumbler; “the + nature of man is prone to discontent. Allow that our present design of + setting up the gay Lothario, and trying our chances at Bath for an + heiress, is owing as much to Lovett's promptitude as to our invention.” + </p> + <p> + “And what good will come of it?” returned Ned, as he lighted his pipe; + “answer me that. Was I not dressed as fine as a lord, and did not I walk + three times up and down that great room without being a jot the better for + it?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! but you know not how many secret conquests you may have made. You + cannot win a prize by looking upon it.” + </p> + <p> + “Humph!” grunted Ned, applying himself discontentedly to the young + existence of his pipe. + </p> + <p> + “As for the captain's partner,” renewed Tomlinson, who maliciously + delighted in exciting the jealousy of the handsome “tax-collector,”—for + that was the designation by which Augustus thought proper to style himself + and companions,—“I will turn Tory if she be not already half in love + with him; and did you hear the old gentleman who cut into our rubber say + what a fine fortune she had? Faith, Ned, it is lucky for us two that we + all agreed to go shares in our marriage speculations; I fancy the worthy + captain will think it a bad bargain for himself.” + </p> + <p> + “I am not so sure of that, Mr. Tomlinson,” said Long Ned, sourly eying his + comrade. “Some women may be caught by a smooth skin and a showy manner; + but real masculine beauty,—eyes, colour, and hair,—Mr. + Tomlinson, must ultimately make its way; so hand me the brandy, and cease + your jaw.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well,” said Tomlinson, “I'll give you a toast,—'The prettiest + girl in England,' and that's Miss Brandon!” + </p> + <p> + “You shall give no such toast, sir!” said Clifford, starting from the + bench. “What the devil is Miss Brandon to you? And now, Ned,” seeing that + the tall hero looked on him with an unfavourable aspect, “here's my hand; + forgive me if I was uncivil. Tomlinson will tell you, in a maxim, men are + changeable. Here's to your health; and it shall not be my fault, + gentlemen, if we have not a merry evening!” + </p> + <p> + This speech, short as it was, met with great applause from the two + friends; and Clifford, as president, stationed himself in a huge chair at + the head of the table. Scarcely had he assumed this dignity, before the + door opened, and half-a-dozen of the gentlemen confederates trooped + somewhat noisily into the apartment. + </p> + <p> + “Softly, softly, messieurs,” said the president, recovering all his + constitutional gayety, yet blending it with a certain negligent command,—“respect + for the chair, if you please! 'T is the way with all assemblies where the + public purse is a matter of deferential interest!” + </p> + <p> + “Hear him!” cried Tomlinson. + </p> + <p> + “What, my old friend Bags!” said the president; “you have not come + empty-handed, I will swear; your honest face is like the table of contents + to the good things in your pockets!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Captain Clifford,” said the veteran, groaning, and shaking his + reverend head, “I have seen the day when there was not a lad in England + forked so largely, so comprehensively-like, as I did. But, as King Lear + says at Common Garden, 'I be's old now!'” + </p> + <p> + “But your zeal is as youthful as ever, my fine fellow,” said the captain, + soothingly; “and if you do not clean out the public as thoroughly as + heretofore, it is not the fault of your inclinations.” + </p> + <p> + “No, that it is not!” cried the “tax-collectors” unanimously. + </p> + <p> + “And if ever a pocket is to be picked neatly, quietly, and effectually,” + added the complimentary Clifford, “I do not know to this day, throughout + the three kingdoms, a neater, quieter, and more effective set of fingers + than Old Bags's!” + </p> + <p> + The veteran bowed disclaimingly, and took his seat among the heartfelt + good wishes of the whole assemblage. + </p> + <p> + “And now, gentlemen,” said Clifford, as soon as the revellers had provided + themselves with their wonted luxuries, potatory and fumous, “let us hear + your adventures, and rejoice our eyes with their produce. The gallant + Attie shall begin; but first, a toast,—'May those who leap from a + hedge never leap from a tree!'” + </p> + <p> + This toast being drunk with enthusiastic applause, Fighting Attie began + the recital of his little history. + </p> + <p> + “You sees, Captain,” said he, putting himself in a martial position, and + looking Clifford full in the face, “that I'm not addicted to much blarney. + Little cry and much wool is my motto. At ten o'clock A.M. saw the enemy—in + the shape of a Doctor of Divinity. 'Blow me,' says I to Old Bags, 'but I + 'll do his reverence!' 'Blow me,' says Old Bags, 'but you sha' n't,—you'll + have us scragged if you touches the Church.' 'My grandmother!' says I. + Bags tells the pals,—all in a fuss about it,—what care I? I + puts on a decent dress, and goes to the doctor as a decayed soldier wot + supplies the shops in the turning line. His reverence—a fat jolly + dog as ever you see—was at dinner over a fine roast pig; so I tells + him I have some bargains at home for him. Splice me, if the doctor did not + think he had got a prize; so he puts on his boots, and he comes with me to + my house. But when I gets him into a lane, out come my pops. 'Give up, + Doctor,' says I; 'others must share the goods of the Church now.' You has + no idea what a row he made; but I did the thing, and there's an end on't.” + </p> + <p> + “Bravo, Attie!” cried Clifford; and the word echoed round the board. Attie + put a purse on the table, and the next gentleman was called to confession. + </p> + <p> + “It skills not, boots not,” gentlest of readers, to record each of the + narratives that now followed one another. Old Bags, in especial, preserved + his well-earned reputation by emptying six pockets, which had been filled + with every possible description of petty valuables. Peasant and prince + appeared alike to have come under his hands; and perhaps the good old man + had done in the town more towards effecting an equality of goods among + different ranks than all the Reformers, from Cornwall to Carlisle. Yet so + keen was his appetite for the sport that the veteran appropriator + absolutely burst into tears at not having “forked more.” + </p> + <p> + “I love a warm-hearted enthusiasm,” cried Clifford, handling the movables, + while he gazed lovingly on the ancient purloiner. “May new cases never + teach us to forget Old Bags!” + </p> + <p> + As soon as this “sentiment” had been duly drunk, and Mr. Bagshot had dried + his tears and applied himself to his favourite drink,—which, by the + way, was “blue ruin,”—the work of division took place. The + discretion and impartiality of the captain in this arduous part of his + duty attracted universal admiration; and each gentleman having carefully + pouched his share, the youthful president hemmed thrice, and the society + became aware of a purposed speech. + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen!” began Clifford,—and his main supporter, the sapient + Augustus, shouted out, “Hear!”—“gentlemen, you all know that when + some months ago you were pleased, partly at the instigation of Gentleman + George—God bless him!—partly from the exaggerated good opinion + expressed of me by my friends, to elect me to the high honour of the + command of this district, I myself was by no means ambitious to assume + that rank, which I knew well was far beyond my merits, and that + responsibility which I knew with equal certainty was too weighty for my + powers. Your voices, however, overruled my own; and as Mr. Muddlepud, the + great metaphysician, in that excellent paper, 'The Asinaeum,' was wont to + observe, 'the susceptibilities, innate, extensible, incomprehensible, and + eternal,' existing in my bosom, were infinitely more powerful than the + shallow suggestions of reason,—that ridiculous thing which all wise + men and judicious Asinaeans sedulously stifle.” + </p> + <p> + “Plague take the man! what is he talking about?” said Long Ned, who we + have seen was of an envious temper, in a whisper to Old Bags. Old Bags + shook his head. + </p> + <p> + “In a word, gentlemen,” renewed Clifford, “your kindness overpowered me; + and despite my cooler inclinations, I accepted your flattering proposal. + Since then I have endeavoured, so far as I have been able, to advance your + interests; I have kept a vigilant eye upon all my neighbours; I have, from + county to county, established numerous correspondents; and our exertions + have been carried on with a promptitude that has ensured success. + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, I do not wish to boast; but on these nights of periodical + meetings, when every quarter brings us to go halves,—when we meet in + private to discuss the affairs of the public, show our earnings as it were + in privy council, and divide them amicably as it were in the Cabinet + ['Hear! hear!' from Mr. Tomlinson],—it is customary for your captain + for the time being to remind you of his services, engage your pardon for + his deficiencies, and your good wishes for his future exertions. + Gentlemen, has it ever been said of Paul Lovett that he heard of a prize + and forgot to tell you of his news? ['Never! never!' loud cheering.] Has + it ever been said of him that he sent others to seize the booty, and + stayed at home to think how it should be spent? ['No! no!' repeated + cheers.] Has it ever been said of him that he took less share than his due + of your danger, and more of your guineas? [Cries in the negative, + accompanied with vehement applause.] Gentlemen, I thank you for these + flattering and audible testimonials in my favour; but the points on which + I have dwelt, however necessary to my honour, would prove but little for + my merits; they might be worthy notice in your comrade, you demand more + subtle duties in your chief. Gentlemen, has it ever been said of Paul + Lovett that he sent out brave men on forlorn hopes; that he hazarded your + own heads by rash attempts in acquiring pictures of King George's; that + zeal, in short, was greater in him than caution, or that his love of a + quid (A guinea) ever made him neglectful of your just aversion to a quod? + (A prison) [Unanimous cheering.] + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, since I have had the honour to preside over your welfare, + Fortune, which favours the bold, has not been unmerciful to you! But three + of our companions have been missed from our peaceful festivities. One, + gentlemen, I myself expelled from our corps for ungentlemanlike practices; + he picked pockets of fogles, (handkerchiefs)—it was a vulgar + employment. Some of you, gentlemen, have done the same for amusement; Jack + Littlefork did it for occupation. I expostulated with him in public and in + private; Mr. Pepper cut his society; Mr. Tomlinson read him an essay on + Real Greatness of Soul: all was in vain. He was pumped by the mob for the + theft of a bird's-eye wipe. The fault I had borne with,—the + detection was unpardonable; I expelled him. Who's here so base as would be + a fogle-hunter? If any, speak; for him have I offended! Who's here so rude + as would not be a gentleman? If any, speak; for him have I offended! I + pause for a reply! What, none! then none have I offended. [Loud cheers.] + Gentlemen, I may truly add, that I have done no more to Jack Littlefork + than you should do to Paul Lovett! The next vacancy in our ranks was + occasioned by the loss of Patrick Blunderbull. You know, gentlemen, the + vehement exertions that I made to save that misguided creature, whom I had + made exertions no less earnest to instruct. But he chose to swindle under + the name of the 'Honourable Captain Smico;' the Peerage gave him the lie + at once; his case was one of aggravation, and he was so remarkably ugly + that he 'created no interest.' He left us for a foreign exile; and if as a + man I lament him, I confess to you, gentlemen, as a 'tax-collector' I am + easily consoled. + </p> + <p> + “Our third loss must be fresh in your memory. Peter Popwell, as bold a + fellow as ever breathed, is no more! [A movement in the assembly.] Peace + be with him! He died on the field of battle; shot dead by a Scotch + Colonel, whom poor Popwell thought to rob of nothing with an empty pistol. + His memory, gentlemen,—in solemn silence! + </p> + <p> + “These make the catalogue of our losses,” resumed the youthful chief, so + soon as the “red cup had crowned the memory” of Peter Popwell; “I am + proud, even in sorrow, to think that the blame of those losses rests not + with me. And now, friends and followers! Gentlemen of the Road, the + Street, the Theatre, and the Shop! Prigs, Tobymen, and Squires of the + Cross! according to the laws of our Society, I resign into your hands that + power which for two quarterly terms you have confided to mine, ready to + sink into your ranks as a comrade, nor unwilling to renounce the painful + honour I have borne,—borne with much infirmity, it is true, but at + least with a sincere desire to serve that cause with which you have + intrusted me.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, the captain descended from his chair amidst the most uproarious + applause; and as soon as the first burst had partially subsided, Augustus + Tomlinson rising, with one hand in his breeches' pocket and the other + stretched out, said,— + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, I move that Paul Lovett be again chosen as our captain for the + ensuing term of three months. [Deafening cheers.] Much might I say about + his surpassing merits; but why dwell upon that which is obvious? Life is + short! Why should speeches be long? Our lives, perhaps, are shorter than + the lives of other men; why should not our harangues be of a suitable + brevity? Gentlemen, I shall say but one word in favour of my excellent + friend,—of mine, say I? ay, of mine, of yours. He is a friend to all + of us! A prime minister is not more useful to his followers and more + burdensome to the public than I am proud to say is—Paul Lovett. + [Loud plaudits.] What I shall urge in his favour is simply this: the man + whom opposite parties unite in praising must have supereminent merit. Of + all your companions, gentlemen, Paul Lovett is the only man who to that + merit can advance a claim. [Applause.] You all know, gentlemen, that our + body has long been divided into two factions,—each jealous of the + other, each desirous of ascendancy, and each emulous which shall put the + greatest number of fingers into the public pie. In the language of the + vulgar, the one faction would be called 'swindlers,' and the other + 'highwaymen.' I, gentlemen, who am fond of finding new names for things + and for persons, and am a bit of a politician, call the one Whigs, and the + other Tories. [Clamorous cheering.] Of the former body I am esteemed no + uninfluential member; of the latter faction Mr. Bags is justly considered + the most shining ornament. Mr. Attie and Mr. Edward Pepper can scarcely be + said to belong entirely to either; they unite the good qualities of both. + 'British compounds' some term them; I term them Liberal Aristocrats! + [Cheers.] I now call upon you all, Whig, or Swindler, Tory, or Highwayman, + 'British Compounds,' or Liberal Aristocrats,—I call upon you all to + name me one man whom you will all agree to elect.” + </p> + <p> + All,—“Lovett forever!” + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” continued the sagacious Augustus, “that shout is sufficient; + without another word, I propose, as your captain, Mr. Paul Lovett.” + </p> + <p> + “And I seconds the motion!” said old Mr. Bags. + </p> + <p> + Our hero, being now by the unanimous applause of his confederates restored + to the chair of office, returned thanks in a neat speech; and Scarlet Jem + declared, with great solemnity, that it did equal honour to his head and + heart. + </p> + <p> + The thunders of eloquence being hushed, flashes of lightning, or, as the + vulgar say, glasses of gin, gleamed about. Good old Mr. Bags stuck, + however, to his blue ruin, and Attie to the bottle of bingo; some, among + whom were Clifford and the wise Augustus, called for wine; and Clifford, + who exerted himself to the utmost in supporting the gay duties of his + station, took care that the song should vary the pleasures of the bowl. Of + the songs we have only been enabled to preserve two. The first is by Long + Ned; and though we confess we can see but little in it, yet (perhaps from + some familiar allusion or other with which we are necessarily + unacquainted) it produced a prodigious sensation. It ran thus:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE ROGUE'S RECIPE. + + Your honest fool a rogue to make, + As great as can be seen, sir, + Two hackneyed rogues you first must take, + Then place your fool between, sir. + + Virtue 's a dunghill cock, ashamed + Of self when paired with game ones; + And wildest elephants are tamed + If stuck betwixt two tame ones. +</pre> + <p> + The other effusion with which we have the honour to favour our readers is + a very amusing duet which took place between Fighting Attie and a tall + thin robber, who was a dangerous fellow in a mob, and was therefore called + Mobbing Francis; it was commenced by the latter:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + MOBBING FRANCIS: + + The best of all robbers as ever I knowed + Is the bold Fighting Attie, the pride of the road!— + Fighting Attie, my hero, I saw you to-day + A purse full of yellow boys seize; + And as, just at present, I'm low in the lay, + I'll borrow a quid, if you please. + Oh! bold Fighting Attie, the knowing, the natty, + By us all it must sure be confest, + Though your shoppers and snobbers are pretty good robbers, + A soldier is always the best. + + FIGHTING ATTIE + + Stubble your whids, (Hold your tongue) + You wants to trick I. + Lend you my quids? + Not one, by Dickey. + + MOBBING FRANCIS: + + Oh, what a beast is a niggardly ruffler, + Nabbing, grabbing all for himself! + Hang it, old fellow, I'll hit you a muffler, + Since you won't give me a pinch of the pelf. + You has not a heart for the general distress, + You cares not a mag if our party should fall, + And if Scarlet Jem were not good at a press, + By Goles, it would soon be all up with us all! + Oh, Scarlet Jem, he is trusty and trim, + Like his wig to his poll, sticks his conscience to him; + But I vows I despises the fellow who prizes + More his own ends than the popular stock, sir; + And the soldier as bones for himself and his crones, + Should be boned like a traitor himself at the block, sir. +</pre> + <p> + The severe response of Mobbing Francis did not in the least ruffle the + constitutional calmness of Fighting Attie; but the wary Clifford, seeing + that Francis had lost his temper, and watchful over the least sign of + disturbance among the company, instantly called for another song, and + Mobbing Francis sullenly knocked down Old Bags. + </p> + <p> + The night was far gone, and so were the wits of the honest tax-gatherers, + when the president commanded silence, and the convivialists knew that + their chief was about to issue forth the orders for the ensuing term. + Nothing could be better timed than such directions,—during merriment + and before oblivion. + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said the captain, “I will now, with your leave, impart to you + all the plans I have formed for each. You, Attie, shall repair to London: + be the Windsor road and the purlieus of Pimlico your especial care. Look + you, my hero, to these letters; they will apprise you of much work. I need + not caution you to silence. Like the oyster, you never open your mouth but + for something. Honest Old Bags, a rich grazier will be in Smithfield on + Thursday; his name is Hodges, and he will have somewhat like a thousand + pounds in his pouch. He is green, fresh, and avaricious; offer to assist + him in defrauding his neighbours in a bargain, and cease not till thou + hast done that with him which he wished to do to others. Be, excellent old + man, like the frog-fish, which fishes for other fishes with two horns that + resemble baits; the prey dart at the horns, and are down the throat in an + instant!—For thee, dearest Jem, these letters announce a prize: fat + is Parson Pliant; full is his purse; and he rides from Henley to Oxford on + Friday,—I need say no more! As for the rest of you, gentlemen, on + this paper you will see your destinations fixed. I warrant you, ye will + find enough work till we meet again this day three months. Myself, + Augustus Tomlinson, and Ned Pepper remain in Bath; we have business in + hand, gentlemen, of paramount importance; should you by accident meet us, + never acknowledge us,—we are incog.; striking at high game, and + putting on falcon's plumes to do it in character,—you understand; + but this accident can scarcely occur, for none of you will remain at Bath; + by to-morrow night, may the road receive you. And now, gentlemen, speed + the glass, and I'll give you a sentiment by way of a spur to it,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Much sweeter than honey + Is other men's money!”' +</pre> + <p> + Our hero's maxim was received with all the enthusiasm which agreeable + truisms usually create. And old Mr. Bags rose to address the chair; + unhappily for the edification of the audience, the veteran's foot slipped + before he had proceeded further than “Mr. President;” he fell to the earth + with a sort of reel,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Like shooting stars he fell to rise no more!” + </pre> + <p> + His body became a capital footstool for the luxurious Pepper. Now Augustus + Tomlinson and Clifford, exchanging looks, took every possible pains to + promote the hilarity of the evening; and before the third hour of morning + had sounded, they had the satisfaction of witnessing the effects of their + benevolent labours in the prostrate forms of all their companions. Long + Ned, naturally more capacious than the rest, succumbed the last. + </p> + <p> + “As leaves of trees,” said the chairman, waving his hand, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'As leaves of trees the race of man is found, + Now fresh with dew, now withering on the ground.'” + </pre> + <p> + “Well said, my Hector of Highways;” cried Tomlinson; and then helping + himself to the wine, while he employed his legs in removing the supine + forms of Scarlet Jem and Long Ned, he continued the Homeric quotation, + with a pompous and self-gratulatory tone,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'So flourish these when those have passed away!'” + </pre> + <p> + “We managed to get rid of our friends,” began Clifford— + </p> + <p> + “Like Whigs in place,” interrupted the politician. + </p> + <p> + “Right, Tomlinson, thanks to the milder properties of our drink, and + perchance to the stronger qualities of our heads; and now tell me, my + friend, what think you of our chance of success? Shall we catch an heiress + or not?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, really,” said Tomlinson, “women are like those calculations in + arithmetic, which one can never bring to an exact account; for my part, I + shall stuff my calves, and look out for a widow. You, my good fellow, seem + to stand a fair chance with Miss ———” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, name her not!” cried Clifford, colouring, even through the flush + which wine had spread over his countenance. “Ours are not the lips by + which her name should be breathed; and, faith, when I think of her, I do + it anonymously.” + </p> + <p> + “What, have you ever thought of her before this evening?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, for months,” answered Clifford. “You remember some time ago, when we + formed the plan for robbing Lord Mauleverer, how, rather for frolic than + profit, you robbed Dr. Slopperton, of Warlock, while I compassionately + walked home with the old gentleman. Well, at the parson's house I met Miss + Brandon—mind, if I speak of her by name, you must not; and, by + Heaven!—But I won't swear. I accompanied her home. You know, before + morning we robbed Lord Mauleverer; the affair made a noise, and I feared + to endanger you all if I appeared in the vicinity of the robbery. Since + then, business diverted my thoughts; we formed the plan of trying a + matrimonial speculation at Bath. I came hither,—guess my surprise at + seeing her—” + </p> + <p> + “And your delight,” added Tomlinson, “at hearing she is as rich as she is + pretty.” + </p> + <p> + “No!” answered Clifford, quickly; “that thought gives me no pleasure. You + stare. I will try and explain. You know, dear Tomlinson, I'm not much of a + canter, and yet my heart shrinks when I look on that innocent face, and + hear that soft happy voice, and think that my love to her can be only ruin + and disgrace; nay, that my very address is contamination, and my very + glance towards her an insult.” + </p> + <p> + “Heyday!” quoth Tomlinson; “have you been under my instructions, and + learned the true value of words, and can you have any scruples left on so + easy a point of conscience? True, you may call your representing yourself + to her as an unprofessional gentleman, and so winning her affections, + deceit; but why call it deceit when a genius for intrigue is so much + neater a phrase? In like manner, by marrying the young lady, if you say + you have ruined her, you justly deserve to be annihilated; but why not say + you have saved yourself, and then, my dear fellow, you will have done the + most justifiable thing in the world.” + </p> + <p> + “Pish, man!” said Clifford, peevishly; “none of thy sophisms and sneers!” + </p> + <p> + “By the soul of Sir Edward Coke, I am serious! But look you, my friend! + this is not a matter where it is convenient to have a tender-footed + conscience. You see these fellows on the ground, all d—-d clever, + and so forth; but you and I are of a different order. I have had a + classical education, seen the world, and mixed in decent society; you, + too, had not been long a member of our club before you distinguished + yourself above us all. Fortune smiled on your youthful audacity. You grew + particular in horses and dress, frequented public haunts, and being a + deuced good-looking fellow, with an inborn air of gentility and some sort + of education, you became sufficiently well received to acquire in a short + time the manner and tone of a—what shall I say?—a gentleman, + and the taste to like suitable associates. This is my case too! Despite + our labours for the public weal, the ungrateful dogs see that we are above + them; a single envious breast is sufficient to give us to the hangman. We + have agreed that we are in danger; we have agreed to make an honourable + retreat; we cannot do so without money. You know the vulgar distich among + our set. Nothing can be truer,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'Hanging is 'nation + More nice than starvation!' +</pre> + <p> + You will not carry off some of the common stock, though I think you justly + might, considering how much you have put into it. What, then, shall we do? + Work we cannot, beg we will not; and, between you and me, we are cursedly + extravagant! What remains but marriage?” + </p> + <p> + “It is true,” said Clifford, with a half sigh. + </p> + <p> + “You may well sigh, my good fellow. Marriage is a lackadaisical proceeding + at best; but there is no resource. And now, when you have got a liking to + a young lady who is as rich as a she-Craesus, and so gilded the pill as + bright as a lord mayor's coach, what the devil have you to do with + scruples?” + </p> + <p> + Clifford made no answer, and there was a long pause; perhaps he would not + have spoken so frankly as he had done, if the wine had not opened his + heart. + </p> + <p> + “How proud,” renewed Tomlinson, “the good old matron at Thames Court would + be if you married a lady! You have not seen her lately?” + </p> + <p> + “Not for years,” answered our hero. “Poor old soul! I believe that she is + well in health, and I take care that she should not be poor in pocket.” + </p> + <p> + “But why not visit her? Perhaps, like all great men, especially of a + liberal turn of mind, you are ashamed of old friends, eh?” + </p> + <p> + “My good fellow, is that like me? Why, you know the beaux of our set look + askant on me for not keeping up my dignity, robbing only in company with + well-dressed gentlemen, and swindling under the name of a lord's nephew. + No, my reasons are these: first, you must know, that the old dame had set + her heart on my turning out an honest man.” + </p> + <p> + “And so you have,” interrupted Augustus,—“honest to your party; what + more would you have from either prig or politician?” + </p> + <p> + “I believe,” continued Clifford, not heeding the interruption, “that my + poor mother, before she died, desired that I might be reared honestly; and + strange as it may seem to you, Dame Lobkins is a conscientious woman in + her own way,—it is not her fault if I have turned out as I have + done. Now I know well that it would grieve her to the quick to see me what + I am. Secondly, my friend, under my new names, various as they are,—Jackson + and Howard, Russell and Pigwiggin, Villiers and Gotobed, Cavendish and + Solomons,—you may well suppose that the good persons in the + neighbourhood of Thames Court have no suspicion that the adventurous and + accomplished ruffler, at present captain of this district, under the new + appellation of Lovett, is in reality no other than the obscure and + surnameless Paul of the Mug. Now you and I, Augustus, have read human + nature, though in the black letter; and I know well that were I to make my + appearance in Thames Court, and were the old lady (as she certainly would, + not from unkindness, but insobriety,—not that she loves me less, but + heavy wet more) to divulge the secret of that appearance—” + </p> + <p> + “You know well,” interrupted the vivacious Tomlinson, “that the identity + of your former meanness with your present greatness would be easily + traced; the envy and jealousy of your early friends aroused; a hint of + your whereabout and your aliases given to the police, and yourself + grabbed, with a slight possibility of a hempen consummation.” + </p> + <p> + “You conceive me exactly!” answered Clifford. “The fact is, that I have + observed in nine cases out of ten our bravest fellows have been taken off + by the treachery of some early sweetheart or the envy of some boyish + friend. My destiny is not yet fixed. I am worthy of better things than a + ride in the cart with a nosegay in my hand; and though I care not much + about death in itself, I am resolved, if possible, not to die a + highwayman. Hence my caution, and that prudential care for secrecy and + safe asylums, which men less wise than you have so often thought an + unnatural contrast to my conduct on the road.” + </p> + <p> + “Fools!” said the philosophical Tomlinson; “what has the bravery of a + warrior to do with his insuring his house from fire?” + </p> + <p> + “However,” said Clifford, “I send my good nurse a fine gift every now and + then to assure her of my safety; and thus, notwithstanding my absence, I + show my affection by my presents,—excuse a pun.” + </p> + <p> + “And have you never been detected by any of your quondam associates?” + </p> + <p> + “Never! Remember in what a much more elevated sphere of life I have been + thrown; and who could recognize the scamp Paul with a fustian jacket in + gentleman Paul with a laced waistcoat? Besides, I have diligently avoided + every place where I was likely to encounter those who saw me in childhood. + You know how little I frequent flash houses, and how scrupulous I am in + admitting new confederates into our band; you and Pepper are the only two + of my associates—save my <i>protege</i>, as you express it, who + never deserts the cave—that possess a knowledge of my identity with + the lost Paul; and as ye have both taken that dread oath to silence, which + to disobey until indeed I be in the jail or on the gibbet, is almost to be + assassinated, I consider my secret is little likely to be broken, save + with my own consent.” + </p> + <p> + “True,” said Augustus, nodding; “one more glass, and to bed, Mr. + Chairman.” + </p> + <p> + “I pledge you, my friend; our last glass shall be philanthropically + quaffed,—'All fools, and may their money soon be parted!'” + </p> + <p> + “All fools!” cried Tomlinson, filling a bumper; “but I quarrel with the + wisdom of your toast. May fools be rich, and rogues will never be poor! I + would make a better livelihood off a rich fool than a landed estate.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, the contemplative and ever-sagacious Tomlinson tossed off his + bumper; and the pair, having kindly rolled by pedal applications the body + of Long Ned into a safe and quiet corner of the room, mounted the stairs, + arm-in-arm, in search of somnambular accommodations. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVII + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + That contrast of the hardened and mature, + The calm brow brooding o'er the project dark, + With the clear loving heart, and spirit pure + Of youth,—I love, yet, hating, love to mark! + + H. FLETCHER. +</pre> + <p> + On the forenoon of the day after the ball, the carriage of William + Brandon, packed and prepared, was at the door of his abode at Bath; + meanwhile the lawyer was closeted with his brother. + </p> + <p> + “My dear Joseph,” said the barrister, “I do not leave you without being + fully sensible of your kindness evinced to me, both in coming hither, + contrary to your habits, and accompanying me everywhere, despite of your + tastes.” + </p> + <p> + “Mention it not, my dear William,” said the kind-hearted squire, “for your + delightful society is to me the most agreeable (and that's what I can say + of very few people like you; for, for my own part, I generally find the + cleverest men the most unpleasant) in the world! And I think lawyers in + particular (very different, indeed, from your tribe you are!) perfectly + intolerable!” + </p> + <p> + “I have now,” said Brandon, who with his usual nervous quickness of action + was walking with rapid strides to and fro the apartment, and scarcely + noted his brother's compliment,—“I have now another favour to + request of you. Consider this house and these servants yours for the next + month or two at least. Don't interrupt me,—it is no compliment,—I + speak for our family benefit.” And then seating himself next to his + brother's armchair, for a fit of the gout made the squire a close + prisoner, Brandon unfolded to his brother his cherished scheme of marrying + Lucy to Lord Mauleverer. Notwithstanding the constancy of the earl's + attentions to the heiress, the honest squire had never dreamed of their + palpable object; and he was overpowered with surprise when he heard the + lawyer's expectations. + </p> + <p> + “But, my dear brother,” he began, “so great a match for my Lucy, the + Lord-Lieutenant of the Coun—” + </p> + <p> + “And what of that?” cried Brandon, proudly, and interrupting his brother. + “Is not the race of Brandon, which has matched its scions with royalty, + far nobler than that of the upstart stock of Mauleverer? What is there + presumptuous in the hope that the descendant of the Earls of Suffolk + should regild a faded name with some of the precious dust of the quondam + silversmiths of London? Besides,” he continued, after a pause, “Lucy will + be rich, very rich, and before two years my rank may possibly be of the + same order as Mauleverer's!” + </p> + <p> + The squire stared; and Brandon, not giving him time to answer, resumed. It + is needless to detail the conversation; suffice it to say that the artful + barrister did not leave his brother till he had gained his point,—till + Joseph Brandon had promised to remain at Bath in possession of the house + and establishment of his brother; to throw no impediment on the suit of + Mauleverer; to cultivate society, as before; and above all, not to alarm + Lucy, who evidently did not yet favour Mauleverer exclusively, by hinting + to her the hopes and expectations of her uncle and father. Brandon, now + taking leave of his brother, mounted to the drawing-room in search of + Lucy. He found her leaning over the gilt cage of one of her feathered + favourites, and speaking to the little inmate in that pretty and playful + language in which all thoughts, innocent yet fond, should be clothed. So + beautiful did Lucy seem, as she was thus engaged in her girlish and + caressing employment, and so utterly unlike one meet to be the instrument + of ambitious designs, and the sacrifice of worldly calculations, that + Brandon paused, suddenly smitten at heart, as he beheld her. He was not, + however, slow in recovering himself; he approached. “Happy he,” said the + man of the world, “for whom caresses and words like these are reserved!” + </p> + <p> + Lucy turned. “It is ill!” she said, pointing to the bird, which sat with + its feathers stiff and erect, mute and heedless even of that voice which + was as musical as its own. + </p> + <p> + “Poor prisoner!” said Brandon; “even gilt cages and sweet tones cannot + compensate to thee for the loss of the air and the wild woods!” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Lucy, anxiously, “it is not confinement which makes it ill! If + you think so, I will release it instantly.” + </p> + <p> + “How long have you had it?” asked Brandon. + </p> + <p> + “For three years!” said Lucy. +</p> + <p> +“And is it your chief favourite?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes; it does not sing so prettily as the other, but it is far more + sensible, and so affectionate!” + </p> + <p> + “Can you release it then?” asked Brandon, smiling. “Would it not be better + to see it die in your custody than to let it live and to see it no more?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, no, no!” said Lucy, eagerly; “when I love any one, anything, I wish + that to be happy, not me!” + </p> + <p> + As she said this, she took the bird from the cage; and bearing it to the + open window, kissed it, and held it on her hand in the air. The poor bird + turned a languid and sickly eye around it, as if the sight of the crowded + houses and busy streets presented nothing familiar or inviting; and it was + not till Lucy with a tender courage shook it gently from her, that it + availed itself of the proffered liberty. It flew first to an opposite + balcony; and then recovering from a short and as it were surprised pause, + took a brief circuit above the houses; and after disappearing for a few + minutes, flew back, circled the window, and re-entering, settled once more + on the fair form of its mistress and nestled into her bosom. + </p> + <p> + Lucy covered it with kisses. “You see it will not leave me!” said she. + </p> + <p> + “Who can?” said the uncle, warmly, charmed for the moment from every + thought but that of kindness for the young and soft creature before him,—“who + can,” he repeated with a sigh, “but an old and withered ascetic like + myself? I must leave you indeed; see, my carriage is at the door! Will my + beautiful niece, among the gayeties that surround her, condescend now and + then to remember the crabbed lawyer, and assure him by a line of her + happiness and health? Though I rarely write any notes but those upon + cases, you, at least, may be sure of an answer. And tell me, Lucy, if + there be in all this city one so foolish as to think that these idle gems, + useful only as a vent for my pride in you, can add a single charm to a + beauty above all ornament?” + </p> + <p> + So saying, Brandon produced a leathern case; and touching a spring, the + imperial flash of diamonds, which would have made glad many a patrician + heart, broke dazzlingly on Lucy's eyes. + </p> + <p> + “No thanks, Lucy,” said Brandon, in answer to his niece's disclaiming and + shrinking gratitude; “I do honour to myself, not you; and now bless you, + my dear girl. Farewell! Should any occasion present itself in which you + require an immediate adviser, at once kind and wise, I beseech you, my + dearest Lucy, as a parting request, to have no scruples in consulting Lord + Mauleverer. Besides his friendship for me, he is much interested in you, + and you may consult him with the more safety and assurance; because” (and + the lawyer smiled) “he is perhaps the only man in the world whom my Lucy + could not make in love with her. His gallantry may appear adulation, but + it is never akin to love. Promise me that you will not hesitate in this.” + </p> + <p> + Lucy gave the promise readily; and Brandon continued in a careless tone: + “I hear that you danced last night with a young gentleman whom no one + knew, and whose companions bore a very strange appearance. In a place like + Bath, society is too mixed not to render the greatest caution in forming + acquaintances absolutely necessary. You must pardon me, my dearest niece, + if I remark that a young lady owes it not only to herself but to her + relations to observe the most rigid circumspection of conduct. This is a + wicked world, and the peach-like bloom of character is easily rubbed away. + In these points Mauleverer can be of great use to you. His knowledge of + character, his penetration into men, and his tact in manners are unerring. + Pray, be guided by him; whomsoever he warns you against, you may be sure + is unworthy of your acquaintance. God bless you! You will write to me + often and frankly, dear Lucy; tell me all that happens to you,—all + that interests, nay, all that displeases.” + </p> + <p> + Brandon then, who had seemingly disregarded the blushes with which during + his speech Lucy's cheeks had been spread, folded his niece in his arms, + and hurried, as if to hide his feelings, into his carriage. When the + horses had turned the street, he directed the postilions to stop at Lord + Mauleverer's. “Now,” said he to himself, “if I can get this clever coxcomb + to second my schemes, and play according to my game and not according to + his own vanity, I shall have a knight of the garter for my nephew-in-law!” + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile Lucy, all in tears, for she loved her uncle greatly, ran down to + the squire to show him Brandon's magnificent present. + </p> + <p> + “Ah,” said the squire, with a sigh, “few men were born with more good, + generous, and great qualities (pity only that his chief desire was to get + on in the world; for my part, I think no motive makes greater and more + cold-hearted rogues) than my brother William!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVIII. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Why did she love him? Curious fool, be still! + Is human love the growth of human will? + To her he might be gentleness! + + LORD BYRON. +</pre> + <p> + In three weeks from the time of his arrival, Captain Clifford was the most + admired man in Bath. It is true the gentlemen, who have a quicker tact as + to the respectability of their own sex than women, might have looked a + little shy upon him, had he not himself especially shunned appearing + intrusive, and indeed rather avoided the society of men than courted it; + so that after he had fought a duel with a baronet (the son of a + shoemaker), who called him one Clifford, and had exhibited a flea-bitten + horse, allowed to be the finest in Bath, he rose insensibly into a certain + degree of respect with the one sex as well as popularity with the other. + But what always attracted and kept alive suspicion, was his intimacy with + so peculiar and dashing a gentleman as Mr. Edward Pepper. People could get + over a certain frankness in Clifford's address, but the most lenient were + astounded by the swagger of Long Ned. Clifford, however, not insensible to + the ridicule attached to his acquaintances, soon managed to pursue his + occupations alone; nay, he took a lodging to himself, and left Long Ned + and Augustus Tomlinson (the latter to operate as a check on the former) to + the quiet enjoyment of the hairdresser's apartments. He himself attended + all public gayeties; and his mien, and the appearance of wealth which he + maintained, procured him access into several private circles which + pretended to be exclusive,—as if people who had daughters ever could + be exclusive! Many were the kind looks, nor few the inviting letters, + which he received; and if his sole object had been to marry an heiress, he + would have found no difficulty in attaining it. But he devoted himself + entirely to Lucy Brandon; and to win one glance from her, he would have + renounced all the heiresses in the kingdom. Most fortunately for him, + Mauleverer, whose health was easily deranged, had fallen ill the very day + William Brandon left Bath; and his lordship was thus rendered unable to + watch the movements of Lucy, and undermine or totally prevent the success + of her lover. Miss Brandon, indeed, had at first, melted by the kindness + of her uncle, and struck with the sense of his admonition (for she was no + self-willed young lady, who was determined to be in love), received + Captain Clifford's advances with a coldness which, from her manner the + first evening they had met at Bath, occasioned him no less surprise than + mortification. He retreated, and recoiled on the squire, who, patient and + bold, as usual, was sequestered in his favourite corner. By accident, + Clifford trod on the squire's gouty digital; and in apologizing for the + offence, was so struck by the old gentleman's good-nature and peculiarity + of expressing himself, that without knowing who he was, he entered into + conversation with him. There was an off-hand sort of liveliness and + candour, not to say wit, about Clifford, which always had a charm for the + elderly, who generally like frankness above all the cardinal virtues; the + squire was exceedingly pleased with him. The acquaintance, once begun, was + naturally continued without difficulty when Clifford ascertained who was + his new friend; and next morning, meeting in the pump-room, the squire + asked Clifford to dinner. The entree to the house thus gained, the rest + was easy. Long before Mauleverer recovered his health, the mischief + effected by his rival was almost beyond redress; and the heart of the + pure, the simple, the affectionate Lucy Brandon was more than half lost to + the lawless and vagrant cavalier who officiates as the hero of this tale. + </p> + <p> + One morning, Clifford and Augustus strolled out together. “Let us,” said + the latter, who was in a melancholy mood, “leave the busy streets, and + indulge in a philosophical conversation on the nature of man, while we are + enjoying a little fresh air in the country.” Clifford assented to the + proposal, and the pair slowly sauntered up one of the hills that surround + the city of Bladud. + </p> + <p> + “There are certain moments,” said Tomlinson, looking pensively down at his + kerseymere gaiters, “when we are like the fox in the nursery rhyme, 'The + fox had a wound, he could not tell where,'—we feel extremely + unhappy, and we cannot tell why. A dark and sad melancholy grows over us; + we shun the face of man; we wrap ourselves in our thoughts like silkworms; + we mutter fag-ends of dismal songs; tears come into our eyes; we recall + all the misfortunes that have ever happened to us; we stoop in our gait, + and bury our hands in our breeches-pockets; we say, 'What is life?—a + stone to be shied into a horsepond!' We pine for some congenial heart, and + have an itching desire to talk prodigiously about ourselves; all other + subjects seem weary, stale, and unprofitable. We feel as if a fly could + knock us down, and are in a humour to fall in love, and make a very sad + piece of business of it. Yet with all this weakness we have at these + moments a finer opinion of ourselves than we ever had before. We call our + megrims the melancholy of a sublime soul, the yearnings of an indigestion + we denominate yearnings after immortality, nay, sometimes 'a proof of the + nature of the soul!' May I find some biographer who understands such + sensations well, and may he style those melting emotions the offspring of + the poetical character, which, in reality, are the offspring of—a + mutton-chop!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [Vide Moore's “Life of Byron,” in which it is satisfactorily shown + that if a man fast forty-eight hours, then eat three lobsters, and + drink Heaven knows how many bottles of claret; if, when he wake the + next morning, he sees himself abused as a demon by half the + periodicals of the country,—if, in a word, he be broken in his + health, irregular in his habits, unfortunate in his affairs, unhappy + in his home, and if then he should be so extremely eccentric as to + be low-spirited and misanthropical, the low spirits and the + misanthropy are by no means to be attributed to the above agreeable + circumstances, but, God wot, to the “poetical character”!] +</pre> + <p> + “You jest pleasantly enough on your low spirits,” said Clifford; “but I + have a cause for mine.” + </p> + <p> + “What then?” cried Tomlinson. “So much the easier is it to cure them. The + mind can cure the evils that spring from the mind. It is only a fool and a + quack and a driveller when it professes to heal the evils that spring from + the body. My blue devils spring from the body; consequently my mind, + which, as you know, is a particularly wise mind, wrestles not against + them. Tell me frankly,” renewed Augustus, after a pause, “do you ever + repent? Do you ever think, if you had been a shop-boy with a white apron + about your middle, that you would have been a happier and a better member + of society than you now are?” + </p> + <p> + “Repent!” said Clifford, fiercely; and his answer opened more of his + secret heart, its motives, its reasonings, and its peculiarities than were + often discernible,—“repent! that is the idlest word in our language. + No; the moment I repent, that moment I reform! Never can it seem to me an + atonement for crime merely to regret it. My mind would lead me, not to + regret, but to repair! Repent! no, not yet. The older I grow, the more I + see of men and of the callings of social life, the more I, an open knave, + sicken at the glossed and covert dishonesties around. I acknowledge no + allegiance to society. From my birth to this hour, I have received no + single favour from its customs or its laws; openly I war against it, and + patiently will I meet its revenge. This may be crime; but it looks light + in my eyes when I gaze around, and survey on all sides the masked traitors + who acknowledge large debts to society, who profess to obey its laws, + adore its institutions, and, above all—oh, how righteously!—attack + all those who attack it, and who yet lie and cheat and defraud and + peculate,—publicly reaping all the comforts, privately filching all + the profits. Repent!—of what? I come into the world friendless and + poor; I find a body of laws hostile to the friendless and the poor! To + those laws hostile to me, then, I acknowledge hostility in my turn. + Between us are the conditions of war. Let them expose a weakness,—I + insist on my right to seize the advantage; let them defeat me, and I allow + their right to destroy.”—[The author need not, he hopes, observe + that these sentiments are Mr. Paul Clifford's, not his.] + </p> + <p> + “Passion,” said Augustus, coolly, “is the usual enemy of reason; in your + case it is the friend.” + </p> + <p> + The pair had now gained the summit of a hill which commanded a view of the + city below. Here Augustus, who was a little short-winded, paused to + recover breath. As soon as he had done so, he pointed with his forefinger + to the scene beneath, and said enthusiastically, “What a subject for + contemplation!” + </p> + <p> + Clifford was about to reply, when suddenly the sound of laughter and + voices was heard behind. “Let us fly!” cried Augustus; “on this day of + spleen man delights me not—or woman either.” + </p> + <p> + “Stay!” said Clifford, in a trembling accent; for among those voices he + recognized one which had already acquired over him an irresistible and + bewitching power. Augustus sighed, and reluctantly remained motionless. + Presently a winding in the road brought into view a party of pleasure, + some on foot, some on horseback, others in the little vehicles which even + at that day haunted watering-places, and called themselves “Flies” or + “Swallows.” + </p> + <p> + But among the gay procession Clifford had only eyes for one! Walking with + that elastic step which so rarely survives the first epoch of youth, by + the side of the heavy chair in which her father was drawn, the fair beauty + of Lucy Brandon threw—at least in the eyes of her lover—a + magic and a lustre over the whole group. He stood for a moment, stilling + the heart that leaped at her bright looks and the gladness of her innocent + laugh; and then recovering himself, he walked slowly, and with a certain + consciousness of the effect of his own singularly handsome person, towards + the party. The good squire received him with his usual kindness, and + informed him, according to that lucidus ordo which he so especially + favoured, of the whole particulars of their excursion. There was something + worthy of an artist's sketch in the scene at that moment: the old squire + in his chair, with his benevolent face turned towards Clifford, and his + hands resting on his cane, Clifford himself bowing down his stately head + to hear the details of the father; the beautiful daughter on the other + side of the chair, her laugh suddenly stilled, her gait insensibly more + composed, and blush chasing blush over the smooth and peach-like + loveliness of her cheek; the party, of all sizes, ages, and attire, + affording ample scope for the caricaturist; and the pensive figure of + Augustus Tomlinson (who, by the by, was exceedingly like Liston) standing + apart from the rest, on the brow of the hill where Clifford had left him, + and moralizing on the motley procession, with one hand hid in his + waistcoat, and the other caressing his chin, which slowly and pendulously + with the rest of his head moved up and down. + </p> + <p> + As the party approached the brow of the hill, the view of the city below + was so striking that there was a general pause for the purpose of survey. + One young lady in particular drew forth her pencil, and began sketching, + while her mamma looked complacently on, and abstractedly devoured a + sandwich. It was at this time, in the general pause, that Clifford and + Lucy found themselves—Heaven knows how!—next to each other, + and at a sufficient distance from the squire and the rest of the party to + feel in some measure alone. There was a silence in both which neither + dared to break; when Lucy, after looking at and toying with a flower that + she had brought from the place which the party had been to see, + accidentally dropped it; and Clifford and herself stooping at the same + moment to recover it, their hands met. Involuntarily, Clifford detained + the soft fingers in his own; his eyes, that encountered hers, so + spell-bound and arrested them that for once they did not sink beneath his + gaze; his lips moved, but many and vehement emotions so suffocated his + voice that no sound escaped them. But all the heart was in the eyes of + each; that moment fixed their destinies. Henceforth there was an era from + which they dated a new existence; a nucleus around which their thoughts, + their remembrances, and their passions clung. The great gulf was passed; + they stood on the same shore, and felt that though still apart and + disunited, on that shore was no living creature but themselves! Meanwhile + Augustus Tomlinson, on finding himself surrounded by persons eager to gaze + and to listen, broke from his moodiness and reserve. Looking full at his + next neighbour, and flourishing his right hand in the air, till he + suffered it to rest in the direction of the houses and chimneys below, he + repeated that moral exclamation which had been wasted on Clifford, with a + more solemn and a less passionate gravity than before,—“What a + subject, ma'am, for contemplation!” + </p> + <p> + “Very sensibly said, indeed, sir,” said the lady addressed, who was rather + of a serious turn. + </p> + <p> + “I never,” resumed Augustus in a louder key, and looking round for + auditors,—“I never see a great town from the top of a hill without + thinking of an apothecary's shop!” + </p> + <p> + “Lord, sir!” said the lady. Tomlinson's end was gained. Struck with the + quaintness of the notion, a little crowd gathered instantly around him, to + hear it further developed. + </p> + <p> + “Of an apothecary's shop, ma'am!” repeated Tomlinson. “There lie your + simples and your purges and your cordials and your poisons,—all + things to heal and to strengthen and to destroy. There are drugs enough in + that collection to save you, to cure you all; but none of you know how to + use them, nor what medicines to ask for, nor what portions to take; so + that the greater part of you swallow a wrong dose, and die of the remedy!” + </p> + <p> + “But if the town be the apothecary's shop, what, in the plan of your idea, + stands for the apothecary?” asked an old gentleman, who perceived at what + Tomlinson was driving. + </p> + <p> + “The apothecary, sir,” answered Augustus, stealing his notion from + Clifford, and sinking his voice lest the true proprietor should overhear + him (Clifford was otherwise employed),—“the apothecary, sir, is the + LAW! It is the law that stands behind the counter, and dispenses to each + man the dose he should take. To the poor it gives bad drugs gratuitously; + to the rich, pills to stimulate the appetite; to the latter, premiums for + luxury; to the former, only speedy refuges from life! Alas! either your + apothecary is but an ignorant quack, or his science itself is but in its + cradle. He blunders as much as you would do if left to your own selection. + Those who have recourse to him seldom speak gratefully of his skill. He + relieves you, it is true,—but of your money, not your malady; and + the only branch of his profession in which he is an adept is that which + enables him to bleed you! O mankind!” continued Augustus, “what noble + creatures you ought to be! You have keys to all sciences, all arts, all + mysteries, but one! You have not a notion how you ought to be governed; + you cannot frame a tolerable law, for the life and soul of you! You make + yourselves as uncomfortable as you can by all sorts of galling and + vexatious institutions, and you throw the blame upon 'Fate.' You lay down + rules it is impossible to comprehend, much less to obey; and you call each + other monsters, because you cannot conquer the impossibility! You invent + all sorts of vices, under pretence of making laws for preserving virtue; + and the anomalous artificialities of conduct yourselves produce, you say + you are born with; you make a machine by the perversest art you can think + of, and you call it, with a sigh, 'Human Nature.' With a host of good + dispositions struggling at your breasts, you insist upon libelling the + Almighty, and declaring that he meant you to be wicked. Nay, you even call + the man mischievous and seditious who begs and implores you to be one jot + better than you are. O mankind! you are like a nosegay bought at Covent + Garden. The flowers are lovely, the scent delicious. Mark that glorious + hue; contemplate that bursting petal! How beautiful, how redolent of + health, of nature, of the dew and breath and blessing of Heaven, are you + all! But as for the dirty piece of string that ties you together, one + would think you had picked it out of the kennel.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, Tomlinson turned on his heel, broke away from the crowd, and + solemnly descended the hill. The party of pleasure slowly followed; and + Clifford, receiving an invitation from the squire to partake of his family + dinner, walked by the side of Lucy, and felt as if his spirit were drunk + with the airs of Eden. + </p> + <p> + A brother squire, who among the gayeties of Bath was almost as forlorn as + Joseph Brandon himself, partook of the Lord of Warlock's hospitality. When + the three gentlemen adjourned to the drawing-room, the two elder sat down + to a game at backgammon, and Clifford was left to the undisturbed + enjoyment of Lucy's conversation. She was sitting by the window when + Clifford joined her. On the table by her side were scattered books, the + charm of which (they were chiefly poetry) she had only of late learned to + discover; there also were strewn various little masterpieces of female + ingenuity, in which the fairy fingers of Lucy Brandon were especially + formed to excel. The shades of evening were rapidly darkening over the + empty streets; and in the sky, which was cloudless and transparently + clear, the stars came gradually out one by one, until,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “As water does a sponge, so their soft light + Filled the void, hollow, universal air.” + </pre> + <p> + Beautiful evening! (if we, as well as Augustus Tomlinson, may indulge in + an apostrophe)—beautiful evening! For thee all poets have had a + song, and surrounded thee with rills and waterfalls and dews and flowers + and sheep and bats and melancholy and owls; yet we must confess that to + us, who in this very sentimental age are a bustling, worldly, hard-minded + person, jostling our neighbours, and thinking of the main chance,—to + us thou art never so charming as when we meet thee walking in thy gray + hood through the emptying streets and among the dying sounds of a city. We + love to feel the stillness where all, two hours back, was clamour. We love + to see the dingy abodes of Trade and Luxury—those restless patients + of earth's constant fever—contrasted and canopied by a heaven full + of purity and quietness and peace. We love to fill our thought with + speculations on man, even though the man be the muffin-man, rather than + with inanimate objects,—hills and streams,—things to dream + about, not to meditate on. Man is the subject of far nobler contemplation, + of far more glowing hope, of a far purer and loftier vein of sentiment, + than all the “floods and fells” in the universe; and that, sweet evening! + is one reason why we like that the earnest and tender thoughts thou + excitest within us should be rather surrounded by the labours and tokens + of our species than by sheep and bats and melancholy and owls. But + whether, most blessed evening! thou delightest us in the country or in the + town, thou equally disposest us to make and to feel love! Thou art the + cause of more marriages and more divorces than any other time in the + twenty-four hours! Eyes that were common eyes to us before, touched by thy + enchanting and magic shadows, become inspired, and preach to us of heaven. + A softness settles on features that were harsh to us while the sun shone; + a mellow “light of love” reposes on the complexion which by day we would + have steeped “full fathom five” in a sea of Mrs. Gowland's lotion. What, + then, thou modest hypocrite! to those who already and deeply love,—what, + then, of danger and of paradise dost thou bring? + </p> + <p> + Silent, and stilling the breath which heaved in both quick and fitfully, + Lucy and Clifford sat together. The streets were utterly deserted; and the + loneliness, as they looked below, made them feel the more intensely not + only the emotions which swelled within them, but the undefined and + electric sympathy which, in uniting them, divided them from the world. The + quiet around was broken by a distant strain of rude music; and as it came + nearer, two forms of no poetical order grew visible. The one was a poor + blind man, who was drawing from his flute tones in which the melancholy + beauty of the air compensated for any deficiency (the deficiency was but + slight) in the execution. A woman much younger than the musician, and with + something of beauty in her countenance, accompanied him, holding a + tattered hat, and looking wistfully up at the windows of the silent + street. We said two forms; we did the injustice of forgetfulness to + another,—a rugged and simple friend, it is true, but one that both + minstrel and wife had many and moving reasons to love. This was a little + wiry terrier, with dark piercing eyes, that glanced quickly and + sagaciously in all quarters from beneath the shaggy covert that surrounded + them. Slowly the animal moved onward, pulling gently against the string by + which he was held, and by which he guided his master. Once his fidelity + was tempted: another dog invited him to play; the poor terrier looked + anxiously and doubtingly round, and then, uttering a low growl of denial, + pursued— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “The noiseless tenour of his way.” + </pre> + <p> + The little procession stopped beneath the window where Lucy and Clifford + sat; for the quick eye of the woman had perceived them, and she laid her + hand on the blind man's arm, and whispered him. He took the hint, and + changed his air into one of love. Clifford glanced at Lucy; her cheek was + dyed in blushes. The air was over; another succeeded,—it was of the + same kind; a third,—the burden was still unaltered; and then + Clifford threw into the street a piece of money, and the dog wagged his + abridged and dwarfed tail, and darting forward, picked it up in his mouth; + and the woman (she had a kind face!) patted the officious friend, even + before she thanked the donor, and then she dropped the money with a + cheering word or two into the blind man's pocket, and the three wanderers + moved slowly on. Presently they came to a place where the street had been + mended, and the stones lay scattered about. Here the woman no longer + trusted to the dog's guidance, but anxiously hastened to the musician, and + led him with evident tenderness and minute watchfulness over the rugged + way. When they had passed the danger, the man stopped; and before he + released the hand which had guided him, he pressed it gratefully, and then + both the husband and the wife stooped down and caressed the dog. This + little scene—one of those rough copies of the loveliness of human + affections, of which so many are scattered about the highways of the world—both + the lovers had involuntarily watched; and now as they withdrew their eyes,—those + eyes settled on each other,—Lucy's swam in tears. + </p> + <p> + “To be loved and tended by the one I love,” said Clifford, in a low voice, + “I would walk blind and barefoot over the whole earth!” + </p> + <p> + Lucy sighed very gently; and placing her pretty hands (the one clasped + over the other) upon her knee, looked down wistfully on them, but made no + answer. Clifford drew his chair nearer, and gazed on her, as she sat; the + long dark eyelashes drooping over her eyes, and contrasting the ivory + lids; her delicate profile half turned from him, and borrowing a more + touching beauty from the soft light that dwelt upon it; and her full yet + still scarcely developed bosom heaving at thoughts which she did not + analyze, but was content to feel at once vague and delicious. He gazed, + and his lips trembled; he longed to speak; he longed to say but those + words which convey what volumes have endeavoured to express and have only + weakened by detail,—“I love.” How he resisted the yearnings of his + heart, we know not,—but he did resist; and Lucy, after a confused + and embarrassed pause, took up one of the poems on the table, and asked + him some questions about a particular passage in an old ballad which he + had once pointed to her notice. The passage related to a border chief, one + of the Armstrongs of old, who, having been seized by the English and + condemned to death, vented his last feelings in a passionate address to + his own home—his rude tower—and his newly wedded bride. “Do + you believe,” said Lucy, as their conversation began to flow, “that one so + lawless and eager for bloodshed and strife as this robber is described to + be, could be so capable of soft affections?” + </p> + <p> + “I do,” said Clifford, “because he was not sensible that he was as + criminal as you esteem him. If a man cherish the idea that his actions are + not evil, he will retain at his heart all its better and gentler + sensations as much as if he had never sinned. The savage murders his + enemy, and when he returns home is not the less devoted to his friend or + the less anxious for his children. To harden and embrute the kindly + dispositions, we must not only indulge in guilt but feel that we are + guilty. Oh! many that the world load with their opprobrium are capable of + acts—nay, have committed acts—which in others the world would + reverence and adore. Would you know whether a man's heart be shut to the + power of love,—ask what he is, not to his foes, but to his friends! + Crime, too,” continued Clifford, speaking fast and vehemently, while his + eyes flashed and the dark blood rushed to his cheek,—“crime,—what + is crime? Men embody their worst prejudices, their most evil passions, in + a heterogeneous and contradictory code; and whatever breaks this code they + term a crime. When they make no distinction in the penalty—that is + to say, in the estimation—awarded both to murder and to a petty + theft imposed on the weak will by famine, we ask nothing else to convince + us that they are ignorant of the very nature of guilt, and that they make + up in ferocity for the want of wisdom.” + </p> + <p> + Lucy looked in alarm at the animated and fiery countenance of the speaker. + Clifford recovered himself after a moment's pause, and rose from his seat, + with the gay and frank laugh which made one of his peculiar + characteristics. “There is a singularity in politics, Miss Brandon,” said + he, “which I dare say you have often observed,—namely, that those + who are least important are always most noisy, and that the chief people + who lose their temper are those who have nothing to gain in return.” + </p> + <p> + As Clifford spoke, the doors were thrown open, and some visitors to Miss + Brandon were announced. The good squire was still immersed in the + vicissitudes of his game; and the sole task of receiving and entertaining + “the company,” as the chambermaids have it, fell, as usual, upon Lucy. + Fortunately for her, Clifford was one of those rare persons who possess + eminently the talents of society. There was much in his gay and gallant + temperament, accompanied as it was with sentiment and ardour, that + resembled our beau-ideal of those chevaliers, ordinarily peculiar to the + Continent,—heroes equally in the drawing-room and the field. + Observant, courteous, witty, and versed in the various accomplishments + that combine (that most unfrequent of all unions!) vivacity with grace, he + was especially formed for that brilliant world from which his + circumstances tended to exclude him. Under different auspices, he might + have been—Pooh! we are running into a most pointless commonplace; + what might any man be under auspices different from those by which his + life has been guided? Music soon succeeded to conversation, and Clifford's + voice was of necessity put into requisition. Miss Brandon had just risen + from the harpsichord, as he sat down to perform his part; and she stood by + him with the rest of the group while he sang. Only twice his eye stole to + that spot which her breath and form made sacred to him; once when he + began, and once when he concluded his song. Perhaps the recollection of + their conversation inspired him; certainly it dwelt upon his mind at the + moment,—threw a richer flush over his brow, and infused a more + meaning and heartfelt softness into his tone. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + STANZAS. + + When I leave thee, oh! ask not the world what that heart + Which adores thee to others may be! + I know that I sin when from thee I depart, + But my guilt shall not light upon thee! + + My life is a river which glasses a ray + That hath deigned to descend from above; + Whatever the banks that o'ershadow its way, + It mirrors the light of thy love. + + Though the waves may run high when the night wind awakes, + And hurries the stream to its fall; + Though broken and wild be the billows it makes, + Thine image still trembles on all!” + </pre> + <p> + While this ominous love between Clifford and Lucy was thus finding fresh + food in every interview and every opportunity, the unfortunate Mauleverer, + firmly persuaded that his complaint was a relapse of what he termed the + “Warlock dyspepsia,” was waging dire war with the remains of the beef and + pudding, which he tearfully assured his physicians “were lurking in his + constitution.” As Mauleverer, though complaisant, like most men of + unmistakable rank, to all his acquaintances, whatever might be their + grade, possessed but very few friends intimate enough to enter his + sick-chamber, and none of that few were at Bath, it will readily be + perceived that he was in blissful ignorance of the growing fortunes of his + rival; and to say the exact truth, illness, which makes a man's thoughts + turn very much upon himself, banished many of the most tender ideas + usually floating in his mind around the image of Lucy Brandon. His pill + superseded his passion; and he felt that there are draughts in the world + more powerful in their effects than those in the phials of Alcidonis.—[See + Marmontel's pretty tale of “Les Quatres Flacons.”]—He very often + thought, it is true, how pleasant it would be for Lucy to smooth his + pillow, and Lucy to prepare that mixture; but then Mauleverer had an + excellent valet, who hoped to play the part enacted by Gil Blas towards + the honest Licentiate, and to nurse a legacy while he was nursing his + master. And the earl, who was tolerably good-tempered, was forced to + confess that it would be scarcely possible for any one “to know his ways + better than Smoothson.” Thus, during his illness, the fair form of his + intended bride little troubled the peace of the noble adorer. And it was + not till he found himself able to eat three good dinners consecutively, + with a tolerable appetite, that Mauleverer recollected that he was + violently in love. As soon as this idea was fully reinstated in his + memory, and he had been permitted by his doctor to allow himself “a little + cheerful society,” Mauleverer resolved to go to the rooms for an hour or + two. + </p> + <p> + It may be observed that most great personages have some favourite place, + some cherished Baiae, at which they love to throw off their state, and to + play the amiable instead of the splendid; and Bath at that time, from its + gayety, its ease, the variety of character to be found in its haunts, and + the obliging manner in which such characters exposed themselves to + ridicule, was exactly the place calculated to please a man like + Mauleverer, who loved at once to be admired and to satirize. He was + therefore an idolized person at the city of Bladud; and as he entered the + rooms he was surrounded by a whole band of imitators and sycophants, + delighted to find his lordship looking so much better and declaring + himself so convalescent. As soon as the earl had bowed and smiled, and + shaken hands sufficiently to sustain his reputation, he sauntered towards + the dancers in search of Lucy. He found her not only exactly in the same + spot in which he had last beheld her, but dancing with exactly the same + partner who had before provoked all the gallant nobleman's jealousy and + wrath. Mauleverer, though not by any means addicted to preparing his + compliments beforehand, had just been conning a delicate speech for Lucy; + but no sooner did the person of her partner flash on him than the whole + flattery vanished at once from his recollection. He felt himself grow + pale; and when Lucy turned, and seeing him near, addressed him in the + anxious and soft tone which she thought due to her uncle's friend on his + recovery, Mauleverer bowed, confused and silent; and that green-eyed + passion, which would have convulsed the mind of a true lover, altering a + little the course of its fury, effectually disturbed the manner of the + courtier. + </p> + <p> + Retreating to an obscure part of the room, where he could see all without + being conspicuous, Mauleverer now employed himself in watching the motions + and looks of the young pair. He was naturally a penetrating and quick + observer, and in this instance jealousy sharpened his talents; he saw + enough to convince him that Lucy was already attached to Clifford; and + being, by that conviction, fully persuaded that Lucy was necessary to his + own happiness, he resolved to lose not a moment in banishing Captain + Clifford from her presence, or at least in instituting such inquiries into + that gentleman's relatives, rank, and respectability as would, he hoped, + render such banishment a necessary consequence of the research. + </p> + <p> + Fraught with this determination, Mauleverer repaired at once to the + retreat of the squire, and engaging him in conversation, bluntly asked him + who the deuce Miss Brandon was dancing with. + </p> + <p> + The squire, a little piqued at this brusquerie, replied by a long eulogium + on Paul; and Mauleverer, after hearing it throughout with the blandest + smile imaginable, told the squire, very politely, that he was sure Mr. + Brandon's good-nature had misled him. “Clifford!” said he, repeating the + name,—“Clifford! It is one of those names which are particularly + selected by persons nobody knows,—first, because the name is good, + and secondly, because it is common. My long and dear friendship with your + brother makes me feel peculiarly anxious on any point relative to his + niece; and, indeed, my dear William, overrating, perhaps, my knowledge of + the world and my influence in society, but not my affection for him, + besought me to assume the liberty of esteeming myself a friend, nay, even + a relation of yours and Miss Brandon's; so that I trust you do not + consider my caution impertinent.” + </p> + <p> + The flattered squire assured him that he was particularly honoured, so far + from deeming his lordship (which never could be the case with people so + distinguished as his lordship was, especially!) impertinent. + </p> + <p> + Lord Mauleverer, encouraged by this speech, artfully renewed, and + succeeded, if not in convincing the squire that the handsome captain was a + suspicious character, at least in persuading him that common prudence + required that he should find out exactly who the handsome captain was, + especially as he was in the habit of dining with the squire thrice a week, + and dancing with Lucy every night. + </p> + <p> + “See,” said Mauleverer, “he approaches you now; I will retreat to the + chair by the fireplace, and you shall cross-examine him,—I have no + doubt you will do it with the utmost delicacy.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, Mauleverer took possession of a seat where he was not + absolutely beyond hearing (slightly deaf as he was) of the ensuing + colloquy, though the position of his seat screened him from sight. + Mauleverer was esteemed a man of the most punctilious honour in private + life, and he would not have been seen in the act of listening to other + people's conversation for the world. + </p> + <p> + Hemming with an air and resettling himself as Clifford approached, the + squire thus skilfully commenced the attack “Ah, ha! my good Captain + Clifford, and how do you do? I saw you (and I am very glad, my friend, as + every one else is, to see you) at a distance. And where have you left my + daughter?” + </p> + <p> + “Miss Brandon is dancing with Mr. Muskwell, sir,” answered Clifford. + </p> + <p> + “Oh! she is! Mr. Muskwell,—humph! Good family the Muskwells,—came + from Primrose Hall. Pray, Captain, not that I want to know for my own + sake, for I am a strange, odd person, I believe, and I am thoroughly + convinced (some people are censorious, and others, thank God, are not!) of + your respectability,—what family do you come from? You won't think + my—my caution impertinent?” added the shrewd old gentleman, + borrowing that phrase which he thought so friendly in the mouth of Lord + Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + Clifford coloured for a moment, but replied with a quiet archness of look, + “Family! oh, my dear sir, I come from an old family,—a very old + family indeed.” + </p> + <p> + “So I always thought; and in what part of the world?” + </p> + <p> + “Scotland, sir,—all our family come from Scotland; namely, all who + live long do,—the rest die young.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, particular air does agree with particular constitutions. I, for + instance, could not live in all countries; not—you take me—in + the North!” + </p> + <p> + “Few honest men can live there,” said Clifford, dryly. +</p> + <p> +“And,” resumed the + squire, a little embarrassed by the nature of his task, and the cool + assurance of his young friend,—“and pray, Captain Clifford, what + regiment do you belong to?” + </p> + <p> + “Regiment?—oh, the Rifles!” answered Clifford. (“Deuce is in me,” + muttered he, “if I can resist a jest, though I break my neck over it.”) + </p> + <p> + “A very gallant body of men,” said the squire. + </p> + <p> + “No doubt of that, sir!” rejoined Clifford. + </p> + <p> + “And do you think, Captain Clifford,” renewed the squire, “that it is a + good corps for getting on?” + </p> + <p> + “It is rather a bad one for getting off,” muttered the Captain; and then + aloud, “Why, we have not much interest at court, sir.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! but then there is a wider scope, as my brother the lawyer says—and + no man knows better—for merit. I dare say you have seen many a man + elevated from the ranks?” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing more common, sir, than such elevation; and so great is the virtue + of our corps, that I have also known not a few willing to transfer the + honour to their comrades.” + </p> + <p> + “You don't say so!” exclaimed the squire, opening his eyes at such + disinterested magnanimity. + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Clifford, who began to believe he might carry the equivoke too + far, and who thought, despite of his jesting, that it was possible to + strike out a more agreeable vein of conversation—“but, sir, if you + remember, you have not yet finished that youthful hunting adventure of + yours, when the hounds were lost at Burnham Copse.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, very true,” cried the squire, quite forgetting his late suspicions; + and forthwith he began a story that promised to be as long as the chase it + recorded. So charmed was he, when he had finished it, with the character + of the gentleman who had listened to it so delightedly, that on rejoining + Mauleverer, he told the earl, with an important air, that he had strictly + examined the young captain, and that he had fully convinced himself of the + excellence of his family, as well as the rectitude of his morals. + Mauleverer listened with a countenance of polite incredulity; he had heard + but little of the conversation that had taken place between the pair; but + on questioning the squire upon sundry particulars of Clifford's birth, + parentage, and property, he found him exactly as ignorant as before. The + courtier, however, seeing further expostulation was in vain, contented + himself with patting the squire's shoulder, and saying, with a mysterious + urbanity, “Ah, sir, you are too good!” + </p> + <p> + With these words he turned on his heel, and, not yet despairing, sought + the daughter. He found Miss Brandon just released from dancing, and with a + kind of paternal gallantry, he offered his arm to parade the apartments. + After some preliminary flourish, and reference for the thousandth time to + his friendship for William Brandon, the earl spoke to her about that + “fine-looking young man who called himself Captain Clifford.” + </p> + <p> + Unfortunately for Mauleverer, he grew a little too unguarded, as his + resentment against the interference of Clifford warmed with his language, + and he dropped in his anger one or two words of caution, which especially + offended the delicacy of Miss Brandon. + </p> + <p> + “Take care how I encourage, my lord!” said Lucy, with glowing cheeks, + repeating the words which had so affronted her, “I really must beg you—” + </p> + <p> + “You mean, dear Miss Brandon,” interrupted Mauleverer, squeezing her hand + with respectful tenderness, “that you must beg me to apologize for my + inadvertent expression. I do most sincerely. If I had felt less interest + in your happiness, believe me, I should have been more guarded in my + language.” + </p> + <p> + Miss Brandon bowed stiffly, and the courtier saw, with secret rage, that + the country beauty was not easily appeased, even by an apology from Lord + Mauleverer. “I have seen the time,” thought he, “when young unmarried + ladies would have deemed an affront from me an honour! They would have + gone into hysterics at an apology!” Before he had time to make his peace, + the squire joined them; and Lucy, taking her father's arm, expressed her + wish to return home. The squire was delighted at the proposition. It would + have been but civil in Mauleverer to offer his assistance in those little + attentions preparatory to female departure from balls. He hesitated for a + moment. “It keeps one so long in those cursed thorough draughts,” thought + he, shivering. “Besides, it is just possible that I may not marry her, and + it is no good risking a cold (above all, at the beginning of winter) for + nothing!” Fraught with this prudential policy, Mauleverer then resigned + Lucy to her father, and murmuring in her ear that “her displeasure made + him the most wretched of men,” concluded his adieu by a bow penitentially + graceful. + </p> + <p> + About five minutes afterwards, he himself withdrew. As he was wrapping his + corporeal treasure in his roquelaire of sables, previous to immersing + himself in his chair, he had the mortification of seeing Lucy, who with + her father, from some cause or other, had been delayed in the hall, handed + to the carriage by Captain Clifford. Had the earl watched more narrowly + than in the anxious cares due to himself he was enabled to do, he would, + to his consolation, have noted that Lucy gave her hand with an averted and + cool air, and that Clifford's expressive features bore rather the aspect + of mortification than triumph. + </p> + <p> + He did not, however, see more than the action; and as he was borne + homeward with his flambeaux and footmen preceding him, and the watchful + Smoothson by the side of the little vehicle, he muttered his determination + of writing by the very next post to Brandon all his anger for Lucy and all + his jealousy of her evident lover. + </p> + <p> + While this doughty resolve was animating the great soul of Mauleverer, + Lucy reached her own room, bolted the door, and throwing herself on her + bed, burst into a long and bitter paroxysm of tears. So unusual were such + visitors to her happy and buoyant temper, that there was something almost + alarming in the earnestness and obstinacy with which she now wept. + </p> + <p> + “What!” said she, bitterly, “have I placed my affections upon a man of + uncertain character, and is my infatuation so clear that an acquaintance + dare hint at its imprudence? And yet his manner—his tone! No, no, + there can be no reason for shame in loving him!” And as she said this, her + heart smote her for the coldness of her manner towards Clifford on his + taking leave of her for the evening. “Am I,” she thought, weeping yet more + vehemently than before,—“am I so worldly, so base, as to feel + altered towards him the moment I hear a syllable breathed against his + name? Should I not, on the contrary, have clung to his image with a + greater love, if he were attacked by others? But my father, my dear + father, and my kind, prudent uncle,—something is due to them; and + they would break their hearts if I loved one whom they deemed unworthy. + Why should I not summon courage, and tell him of the suspicions respecting + him? One candid word would dispel them. Surely it would be but kind in me + towards him, to give him an opportunity of disproving all false and + dishonouring conjectures. And why this reserve, when so often, by look and + hint, if not by open avowal, he has declared that he loves me, and knows—he + must know—that he is not indifferent to me? Why does he never speak + of his parents, his relations, his home?” + </p> + <p> + And Lucy, as she asked this question, drew from a bosom whose hue and + shape might have rivalled hers who won Cymon to be wise,—[See + Dryden's poem of “Cymon and Iphigenia.”]—a drawing which she herself + had secretly made of her lover, and which, though inartificially and even + rudely done, yet had caught the inspiration of memory, and breathed the + very features and air that were stamped already ineffaceably upon a heart + too holy for so sullied an idol. She gazed upon the portrait as if it + could answer her question of the original; and as she looked and looked, + her tears slowly ceased, and her innocent countenance relapsed gradually + into its usual and eloquent serenity. Never, perhaps, could Lucy's own + portrait have been taken at a more favourable moment, The unconscious + grace of her attitude; her dress loosened; the modest and youthful + voluptuousness of her beauty; the tender cheek to which the virgin bloom, + vanished for a while, was now all glowingly returning; the little white + soft hand on which that cheek leaned, while the other contained the + picture upon which her eyes fed; the half smile just conjured to her full, + red, dewy lips, and gone the moment after, yet again restored,—all + made a picture of such enchanting loveliness that we question whether + Shakspeare himself could have fancied an earthly shape more meet to embody + the vision of a Miranda or a Viola. The quiet and maiden neatness of the + apartment gave effect to the charm; and there was a poetry even in the + snowy furniture of the bed, the shutters partly unclosed and admitting a + glimpse of the silver moon, and the solitary lamp just contending with the + purer ray of the skies, and so throwing a mixed and softened light around + the chamber. + </p> + <p> + She was yet gazing on the drawing, when a faint stream of music stole + through the air beneath her window, and it gradually rose till the sound + of a guitar became distinct and clear, suiting with, not disturbing, the + moonlit stillness of the night. The gallantry and romance of a former day, + though at the time of our story subsiding, were not quite dispelled; and + nightly serenades under the casements of a distinguished beauty were by no + means of unfrequent occurrence. But Lucy, as the music floated upon her + ear, blushed deeper and deeper, as if it had a dearer source to her heart + than ordinary gallantry; and raising herself on one arm from her incumbent + position, she leaned forward to catch the sound with a greater and more + unerring certainty. + </p> + <p> + After a prelude of some moments a clear and sweet voice accompanied the + instrument, and the words of the song were as follows:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + CLIFFORD'S SERENADE. + + There is a world where every night + My spirit meets and walks with thine; + And hopes I dare not tell thee light, + Like stars of Love, that world of mine! + + Sleep!—to the waking world my heart + Hath now, methinks, a stranger grown; + Ah, sleep! that I may feel thou art + Within one world that is my own. +</pre> + <p> + As the music died away, Lucy sank back once more, and the drawing which + she held was pressed (with cheeks glowing, though unseen, at the act) to + her lips. And though the character of her lover was uncleared, though she + herself had come to no distinct resolution even to inform him of the + rumours against his name, yet so easily restored was her trust in him, and + so soothing the very thought of his vigilance and his love, that before an + hour had passed, her eyes were closed in sleep. The drawing was laid, as a + spell against grief, under her pillow; and in her dreams she murmured his + name, and unconscious of reality and the future, smiled tenderly as she + did so! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIX. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Come, the plot thickens! and another fold + Of the warm cloak of mystery wraps us around. + .................. + And for their loves? + Behold the seal is on them! + + Tanner of Tyburn. +</pre> + <p> + We must not suppose that Clifford's manner and tone were towards Lucy + Brandon such as they seemed to others. Love refines every roughness; and + that truth which nurtures tenderness is never barren of grace. Whatever + the habits and comrades of Clifford's life, he had at heart many good and + generous qualities. They were not often perceptible, it is true,—first, + because he was of a gay and reckless turn; secondly, because he was not + easily affected by any external circumstances; and thirdly, because he had + the policy to affect among his comrades only such qualities as were likely + to give him influence with them. Still, however, his better genius broke + out whenever an opportunity presented itself. Though no “Corsair,” + romantic and unreal, an Ossianic shadow becoming more vast in proportion + as it recedes from substance; though no grandly-imagined lie to the fair + proportions of human nature, but an erring man in a very prosaic and + homely world,—Clifford still mingled a certain generosity and + chivalric spirit of enterprise even with the practices of his profession. + Although the name of Lovett, by which he was chiefly known, was one + peculiarly distinguished in the annals of the adventurous, it had never + been coupled with rumours of cruelty or outrage; and it was often + associated with anecdotes of courage, courtesy, good humour, or + forbearance. He was one whom a real love was peculiarly calculated to + soften and to redeem. The boldness, the candour, the unselfishness of his + temper, were components of nature upon which affection invariably takes a + strong and deep hold. Besides, Clifford was of an eager and aspiring turn; + and the same temper and abilities which had in a very few years raised him + in influence and popularity far above all the chivalric band with whom he + was connected, when once inflamed and elevated by a higher passion, were + likely to arouse his ambition from the level of his present pursuits, and + reform him, ere too late, into a useful, nay, even an honourable member of + society. We trust that the reader has already perceived that, despite his + early circumstances, his manner and address were not such as to unfit him + for a lady's love. The comparative refinement of his exterior is easy of + explanation, for he possessed a natural and inborn gentility, a quick turn + for observation, a ready sense both of the ridiculous and the graceful; + and these are materials which are soon and lightly wrought from coarseness + into polish. He had been thrown, too, among the leaders and heroes of his + band; many not absolutely low in birth, nor debased in habit. He had + associated with the Barringtons of the day,—gentlemen who were + admired at Ranelagh, and made speeches worthy of Cicero, when they were + summoned to trial. He had played his part in public places; and as + Tomlinson was wont to say after his classic fashion, “the triumphs + accomplished in the field had been planned in the ball-room.” In short, he + was one of those accomplished and elegant highwaymen of whom we yet read + wonders, and by whom it would have been delightful to have been robbed: + and the aptness of intellect which grew into wit with his friends, + softened into sentiment with his mistress. There is something, too, in + beauty (and Clifford's person, as we have before said, was possessed of + even uncommon attractions) which lifts a beggar into nobility; and there + was a distinction in his gait and look which supplied the air of rank and + the tone of courts. Men, indeed, skilled like Mauleverer in the subtleties + of manner, might perhaps have easily detected in him the want of that + indescribable essence possessed only by persons reared in good society; + but that want being shared by so many persons of indisputable birth and + fortune, conveyed no particular reproach. To Lucy, indeed, brought up in + seclusion, and seeing at Warlock none calculated to refine her taste in + the fashion of an air or phrase to a very fastidious standard of + perfection, this want was perfectly imperceptible; she remarked in her + lover only a figure everywhere unequalled, an eye always eloquent with + admiration, a step from which grace could never be divorced, a voice that + spoke in a silver key, and uttered flatteries delicate in thought and + poetical in word; even a certain originality of mind, remark, and + character, occasionally approaching to the bizarre, yet sometimes also to + the elevated, possessed a charm for the imagination of a young and not + unenthusiastic female, and contrasted favourably, rather than the reverse, + with the dull insipidity of those she ordinarily saw. Nor are we sure that + the mystery thrown about him, irksome as it was to her, and discreditable + as it appeared to others, was altogether ineffectual in increasing her + love for the adventurer; and thus Fate, which transmutes in her magic + crucible all opposing metals into that one which she is desirous to + produce, swelled the wealth of an ill-placed and ominous passion by the + very circumstances which should have counteracted and destroyed it. + </p> + <p> + We are willing, by what we have said, not to defend Clifford, but to + redeem Lucy in the opinion of our readers for loving so unwisely; and when + they remember her youth, her education, her privation of a mother, of all + female friendship, even of the vigilant and unrelaxing care of some + protector of the opposite sex, we do not think that what was so natural + will be considered by any inexcusable. + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer woke the morning after the ball in better health than usual, + and consequently more in love than ever. According to his resolution the + night before, he sat down to write a long letter to William Brandon: it + was amusing and witty as usual; but the wily nobleman succeeded, under the + cover of wit, in conveying to Brandon's mind a serious apprehension lest + his cherished matrimonial project should altogether fail. The account of + Lucy and of Captain Clifford contained in the epistle instilled, indeed, a + double portion of sourness into the professionally acrid mind of the + lawyer; and as it so happened that he read the letter just before + attending the court upon a case in which he was counsel to the crown, the + witnesses on the opposite side of the question felt the full effects of + the barrister's ill humour. The case was one in which the defendant had + been engaged in swindling transactions to a very large amount; and among + his agents and assistants was a person of the very lowest orders, but who, + seemingly enjoying large connections, and possessing natural acuteness and + address, appeared to have been of great use in receiving and disposing of + such goods as were fraudulently obtained. As a witness against the latter + person appeared a pawnbroker, who produced certain articles that had been + pledged to him at different times by this humble agent. Now, Brandon, in + examining the guilty go-between, became the more terribly severe in + proportion as the man evinced that semblance of unconscious stolidity + which the lower orders can so ingeniously assume, and which is so + peculiarly adapted to enrage and to baffle the gentlemen of the bar. At + length, Brandon entirely subduing and quelling the stubborn hypocrisy of + the culprit, the man turned towards him a look between wrath and + beseechingness, muttering,— + </p> + <p> + “Aha! if so be, Counsellor Prandon, you knew vat I knows. You vould not go + for to bully I so!” + </p> + <p> + “And pray, my good fellow, what is it that you know that should make me + treat you as if I thought you an honest man?” + </p> + <p> + The witness had now relapsed into sullenness, and only answered by a sort + of grunt. Brandon, who knew well how to sting a witness into + communicativeness, continued his questioning till the witness, re-aroused + into anger, and it may be into indiscretion, said in a low voice,— + </p> + <p> + “Hax Mr. Swoppem the pawnbroker what I sold 'im on the 15th hof February, + exactly twenty-three yearn ago.” Brandon started back, his lips grew + white, he clenched his hands with a convulsive spasm; and while all his + features seemed distorted with an earnest yet fearful intensity of + expectation, he poured forth a volley of questions, so incoherent and so + irrelevant that he was immediately called to order by his learned brother + on the opposite side. Nothing further could be extracted from the witness. + The pawnbroker was resummoned: he appeared somewhat disconcerted by an + appeal to his memory so far back as twenty-three years; but after taking + some time to consider, during which the agitation of the usually cold and + possessed Brandon was remarkable to all the court, he declared that he + recollected no transaction whatsoever with the witness at that time. In + vain were all Brandon's efforts to procure a more elucidatory answer. The + pawnbroker was impenetrable, and the lawyer was compelled reluctantly to + dismiss him. The moment the witness left the box, Brandon sank into a + gloomy abstraction,—he seemed quite to forget the business and the + duties of the court; and so negligently did he continue to conclude the + case, so purposeless was the rest of his examination and + cross-examination, that the cause was entirely marred, and a verdict “Not + guilty” returned by the jury. + </p> + <p> + The moment he left the court, Brandon repaired to the pawnbroker's; and + after a conversation with Mr. Swoppem, in which he satisfied that honest + tradesman that his object was rather to reward than intimidate, Swoppem + confessed that twenty-three years ago the witness had met him at a + public-house in Devereux Court, in company with two other men, and sold + him several articles in plate, ornaments, etc. The great bulk of these + articles had, of course, long left the pawnbroker's abode; but he still + thought a stray trinket or two, not of sufficient worth to be reset or + remodelled, nor of sufficient fashion to find a ready sale, lingered in + his drawers. Eagerly, and with trembling hands, did Brandon toss over the + motley contents of the mahogany reservoirs which the pawnbroker now + submitted to his scrutiny. Nothing on earth is so melancholy a prospect as + a pawnbroker's drawer! Those little, quaint, valueless ornaments,—those + true-lovers' knots, those oval lockets, those battered rings, girdled by + initials, or some brief inscription of regard or of grief,—what + tales of past affections, hopes, and sorrows do they not tell! But no + sentiment of so general a sort ever saddened the hard mind of William + Brandon, and now less than at any time could such reflections have + occurred to him. Impatiently he threw on the table, one after another, the + baubles once hoarded perchance with the tenderest respect, till at length + his eyes sparkled, and with a nervous gripe he seized upon an old ring + which was inscribed with letters, and circled a heart containing hair. The + inscription was simply, “W. B. to Julia.” Strange and dark was the + expression that settled on Brandon's face as he regarded this seemingly + worthless trinket. After a moment's gaze, he uttered an inarticulate + exclamation, and thrusting it into his pocket, renewed his search. He + found one or two other trifles of a similar nature; one was an ill-done + miniature set in silver, and bearing at the back sundry half-effaced + letters, which Brandon construed at once (though no other eye could) into + “Sir John Brandon, 1635, AEtat. 28;” the other was a seal stamped with the + noble crest of the house of Brandon, 'A bull's head, ducally crowned and + armed, Or.' As soon as Brandon had possessed himself of these treasures, + and arrived at the conviction that the place held no more, he assured the + conscientious Swoppem of his regard for that person's safety, rewarded him + munificently, and went his way to Bow Street for a warrant against the + witness who had commended him to the pawnbroker. On his road thither, a + new resolution occurred to him. “Why make all public,” he muttered to + himself, “if it can be avoided? and it may be avoided!” He paused a + moment, then retraced his way to the pawnbroker's, and, after a brief + mandate to Mr. Swoppem, returned home. In the course of the same evening + the witness we refer to was brought to the lawyer's house by Mr. Swoppem, + and there held a long and private conversation with Brandon; the result of + this seemed a compact to their mutual satisfaction, for the man went away + safe, with a heavy purse and a light heart, although sundry shades and + misgivings did certainly ever and anon cross the latter; while Brandon + flung himself back in his seat with the triumphant air of one who has + accomplished some great measure, and his dark face betrayed in every + feature a joyousness and hope which were unfrequent guests, it must be + owned, either to his countenance or his heart. + </p> + <p> + So good a man of business, however, was William Brandon that he allowed + not the event of that day to defer beyond the night his attention to his + designs for the aggrandizement of his niece and house. By daybreak the + next morning he had written to Lord Mauleverer, to his brother, and to + Lucy. To the last his letter, couched in all the anxiety of fondness and + the caution of affectionate experience, was well calculated to occasion + that mingled shame and soreness which the wary lawyer rightly judged would + be the most effectual enemy to an incipient passion. “I have accidentally + heard,” he wrote, “from a friend of mine, just arrived from Bath, of the + glaring attentions paid to you by a Captain Clifford; I will not, my + dearest niece, wound you by repeating what also I heard of your manner in + receiving them. I know the ill-nature and the envy of the world; and I do + not for a moment imagine that my Lucy, of whom I am so justly proud, would + countenance, from a petty coquetry, the advances of one whom she could + never marry, or evince to any suitor partiality unknown to her relations, + and certainly placed in a quarter which could never receive their + approbation. I do not credit the reports of the idle, my dear niece; but + if I discredit, you must not slight them. I call upon your prudence, your + delicacy, your discretion, your sense of right, at once and effectually to + put a stop to all impertinent rumours: dance with this young man no more; + do not let him be of your party in any place of amusement, public or + private; avoid even seeing him if you are able, and throw in your manner + towards him that decided coldness which the world cannot mistake.” Much + more did the skilful uncle write, but all to the same purpose, and for the + furtherance of the same design. His letter to his brother was not less + artful. He told him at once that Lucy's preference of the suit of a + handsome fortune-hunter was the public talk, and besought him to lose not + a moment in quelling the rumour. “You may do so easily,” he wrote, “by + avoiding the young man; and should he be very importunate, return at once + to Warlock. Your daughter's welfare must be dearer to you than anything.” + </p> + <p> + To Mauleverer, Brandon replied by a letter which turned first on public + matters, and then slid carelessly into the subject of the earl's + information. + </p> + <p> + Among the admonitions which he ventured to give Mauleverer, he dwelt, not + without reason, on the want of tact displayed by the earl in not + manifesting that pomp and show which his station in life enabled him to + do. “Remember,” he urged, “you are not among your equals, by whom + unnecessary parade begins to be considered an ostentatious vulgarity. The + surest method of dazzling our inferiors is by splendour, not taste. All + young persons—all women in particular—are caught by show, and + enamoured of magnificence. Assume a greater state, and you will be more + talked of; and notoriety wins a woman's heart more than beauty or youth. + You have, forgive me, played the boy too long; a certain dignity becomes + your manhood; women will not respect you if you suffer yourself to become + 'stale and cheap to vulgar company.' You are like a man who has fifty + advantages, and uses only one of them to gain his point, when you rely on + your conversation and your manner, and throw away the resources of your + wealth and your station. Any private gentleman may be amiable and witty; + but any private gentleman cannot call to his aid the Aladdin's lamp + possessed in England by a wealthy peer. Look to this, my dear lord! Lucy + at heart is vain, or she is not a woman. Dazzle her, then,—dazzle! + Love may be blind, but it must be made so by excess of light. You have a + country-house within a few miles of Bath. Why not take up your abode there + instead of in a paltry lodging in the town? Give sumptuous entertainments,—make + it necessary for all the world to attend them,—exclude, of course, + this Captain Clifford; you will then meet Lucy without a rival. At + present, excepting only your title, you fight on a level ground with this + adventurer, instead of an eminence from which you could in an instant + sweep him away. Nay, he is stronger than you; he has the opportunities + afforded by a partnership in balls where you cannot appear to advantage; + he is, you say, in the first bloom of youth, he is handsome. Reflect!—your + destiny, so far as Lucy is concerned, is in your hands. I turn to other + subjects,” etc. As Brandon re-read, ere he signed, this last letter, a + bitter smile sat on his harsh yet handsome features. “If,” said he, + mentally, “I can effect this object,—if Mauleverer does marry this + girl,—why so much the better that she has another, a fairer, and a + more welcome lover. By the great principle of scorn within me, which has + enabled me to sneer at what weaker minds adore, and make a footstool of + that worldly honour which fools set up as a throne, it would be to me more + sweet than fame—ay, or even than power—to see this fine-spun + lord a gibe in the mouths of men,—a cuckold, a cuckold!” and as he + said the last word Brandon laughed outright. “And he thinks, too,” added + he, “that he is sure of my fortune; otherwise, perhaps, he, the + goldsmith's descendant, would not dignify our house with his proposals; + but he may err there,—he may err there,” and, finishing his + soliloquy, Brandon finished also his letter by—“Adieu, my dear lord, + your most affectionate friend”! + </p> + <p> + It is not difficult to conjecture the effect produced upon Lucy by + Brandon's letter. It made her wretched; she refused for days to go out; + she shut herself up in her apartment, and consumed the time in tears and + struggles with her own heart. Sometimes what she conceived to be her duty + conquered, and she resolved to forswear her lover; but the night undid the + labour of the day,—for at night, every night, the sound of her + lover's voice, accompanied by music, melted away her resolution, and made + her once more all tenderness and trust. The words, too, sung under her + window were especially suited to affect her; they breathed a melancholy + which touched her the more from its harmony with her own thoughts. One + while they complained of absence, at another they hinted at neglect; but + there was always in them a tone of humiliation, not reproach; they bespoke + a sense of unworthiness in the lover, and confessed that even the love was + a crime: and in proportion as they owned the want of desert did Lucy more + firmly cling to the belief that her lover was deserving. + </p> + <p> + The old squire was greatly disconcerted by his brother's letter. Though + impressed with the idea of self-consequence, and the love of tolerably + pure blood, common to most country squires, he was by no means ambitious + for his daughter. On the contrary, the same feeling which at Warlock had + made him choose his companions among the inferior gentry made him averse + to the thought of a son-in-law from the peerage. In spite of Mauleverer's + good-nature, the very ease of the earl annoyed him, and he never felt at + home in his society. To Clifford he had a great liking; and having + convinced himself that there was nothing to suspect in the young + gentleman, he saw no earthly reason why so agreeable a companion should + not be an agreeable son-in-law. “If he be poor,” thought the squire, + “though he does not seem so, Lucy is rich!” And this truism appeared to + him to answer every objection. Nevertheless, William Brandon possessed a + remarkable influence over the weaker mind of his brother; and the squire, + though with great reluctance, resolved to adopt his advice. He shut his + doors against Clifford, and when he met him in the streets, instead of + greeting him with his wonted cordiality, he passed him with a hasty “Good + day, Captain!” which, after the first day or two, merged into a distant + bow. Whenever very good-hearted people are rude, and unjustly so, the + rudeness is in the extreme. The squire felt it so irksome to be less + familiar than heretofore with Clifford, that his only remaining desire was + now to drop him altogether; and to this consummation of acquaintance the + gradually cooling salute appeared rapidly approaching. Meanwhile Clifford, + unable to see Lucy, shunned by her father, and obtaining in answer to all + inquiry rude looks from the footman, whom nothing but the most resolute + command over his muscles prevented him from knocking down, began to feel + perhaps, for the first time in his life, that an equivocal character is at + least no equivocal misfortune. To add to his distress, “the earnings of + his previous industry”—we use the expression cherished by the wise + Tomlinson—waxed gradually less and less beneath the expenses of + Bath; and the murmuring voices of his two comrades began already to + reproach their chief for his inglorious idleness, and to hint at the + necessity of a speedy exertion. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XX. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Whackum. Look you there, now! Well, all Europe cannot show a knot + of finer wits and braver gentlemen. + + Dingboy. Faith, they are pretty smart men. + + SHADWELL: Scourers. +</pre> + <p> + The world of Bath was of a sudden delighted by the intelligence that Lord + Mauleverer had gone to Beauvale (the beautiful seat possessed by that + nobleman in the neighbourhood of Bath), with the intention of there + holding a series of sumptuous entertainments. + </p> + <p> + The first persons to whom the gay earl announced his “hospitable purpose” + were Mr. and Miss Brandon; he called at their house, and declared his + resolution of not leaving it till Lucy (who was in her own room) consented + to gratify him with an interview, and a promise to be the queen of his + purposed festival. Lucy, teased by her father, descended to the + drawing-room, spiritless and pale; and the earl, struck by the alteration + of her appearance, took her hand, and made his inquiries with so + interesting and feeling a semblance of kindness as prepossessed the father + for the first time in his favour, and touched even the daughter. So + earnest, too, was his request that she would honour his festivities with + her presence, and with so skilful a flattery was it conveyed, that the + squire undertook to promise the favour in her name; and when the earl, + declaring he was not contented with that promise from another, appealed to + Lucy herself, her denial was soon melted into a positive though a + reluctant assent. + </p> + <p> + Delighted with his success, and more struck with Lucy's loveliness, + refined as it was by her paleness, than he had ever been before, + Mauleverer left the house, and calculated, with greater accuracy than he + had hitherto done, the probable fortune Lucy would derive from her uncle. + </p> + <p> + No sooner were the cards issued for Lord Mauleverer's fete than nothing + else was talked of among the circles which at Bath people were pleased to + term “the World.” + </p> + <p> + But in the interim caps are making, and talk flowing, at Bath; and when it + was found that Lord Mauleverer—the good-natured Lord Mauleverer, the + obliging Lord Mauleverer—was really going to be exclusive, and out + of a thousand acquaintances to select only eight hundred, it is amazing + how his popularity deepened into respect. Now, then, came anxiety and + triumph; she who was asked turned her back upon her who was not,—old + friendships dissolved,—Independence wrote letters for a ticket,—and, + as England is the freest country in the world, all the Mistresses Hodges + and Snodges begged to take the liberty of bringing their youngest + daughters. + </p> + <p> + Leaving the enviable Mauleverer,—the god-like occasion of so much + happiness and woe, triumph and dejection,—ascend with us, O reader, + into those elegant apartments over the hairdresser's shop, tenanted by Mr. + Edward Pepper and Mr. Augustus Tomlinson. The time was that of evening; + Captain Clifford had been dining with his two friends; the cloth was + removed, and conversation was flowing over a table graced by two bottles + of port, a bowl of punch for Mr. Pepper's especial discussion, two dishes + of filberts, another of devilled biscuits, and a fourth of three Pomarian + crudities, which nobody touched. + </p> + <p> + The hearth was swept clean, the fire burned high and clear, the curtains + were let down, and the light excluded. Our three adventurers and their + rooms seemed the picture of comfort. So thought Mr. Pepper; for, glancing + round the chamber and putting his feet upon the fender, he said,— + </p> + <p> + “Were my portrait to be taken, gentlemen, it is just as I am now that I + would be drawn!” + </p> + <p> + “And,” said Tomlinson, cracking his filberts,—Tomlinson was fond of + filberts,—“were I to choose a home, it is in such a home as this + that I would be always quartered.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, gentlemen,” said Clifford, who had been for some time silent, “it is + more than probable that both your wishes may be heard, and that ye may be + drawn, quartered, and something else, too, in the very place of your + desert!” + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Tomlinson, smiling gently, “I am happy to hear you jest + again, Captain, though it be at our expense.” + </p> + <p> + “Expense!” echoed Ned; “ay, there's the rub! Who the deuce is to pay the + expense of our dinner?” + </p> + <p> + “And our dinners for the last week?” added Tomlinson. “This empty nut + looks ominous; it certainly has one grand feature strikingly resembling my + pockets.” + </p> + <p> + “Heigho!” sighed Long Ned, turning his waistcoat commodities inside-out + with a significant gesture, while the accomplished Tomlinson, who was fond + of plaintive poetry, pointed to the disconsolate vacua, and exclaimed, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “E'en while Fashion's brightest arts decoy, + The heart desponding asks if this be joy!” + </pre> + <p> + “In truth, gentlemen,” added he, solemnly depositing his nut-crackers on + the table, and laying, as was his wont when about to be luminous, his + right finger on his sinister palm,—“in truth, gentlemen, affairs are + growing serious with us, and it becomes necessary forthwith to devise some + safe means of procuring a decent competence.” + </p> + <p> + “I am dunned confoundedly,” cried Ned. + </p> + <p> + “And,” continued Tomlinson, “no person of delicacy likes to be subjected + to the importunity of vulgar creditors; we must therefore raise money for + the liquidation of our debts. Captain Lovett, or Clifford, whichever you + be styled, we call upon you to assist us in so praiseworthy a purpose.” + </p> + <p> + Clifford turned his eyes first on one and then on the other; but made no + answer. + </p> + <p> + “Imprimis,” said Tomlinson, “let us each produce our stock in hand; for my + part, I am free to confess—for what shame is there in that poverty + which our exertions are about to relieve?—that I have only two + guineas four shillings and threepence halfpenny!” + </p> + <p> + “And I,” said Long Ned, taking a China ornament from the chimney-piece, + and emptying its contents in his hand, “am in a still more pitiful + condition. See, I have only three shillings and a bad guinea. I gave the + guinea to the waiter at the White Hart yesterday; the dog brought it back + to me to-day, and I was forced to change it with my last shiner. Plague + take the thing! I bought it of a Jew for four shillings, and have lost one + pound five by the bargain.” + </p> + <p> + “Fortune frustrates our wisest schemes,” rejoined the moralizing Augustus. + “Captain, will you produce the scanty wrecks of your wealth?” + </p> + <p> + Clifford, still silent, threw a purse on the table. Augustus carefully + emptied it, and counted out five guineas; an expression of grave surprise + settled on Tomlinson's contemplative brow, and extending the coins towards + Clifford, he said in a melancholy tone,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “All your pretty ones? + Did you say all?” + </pre> + <p> + A look from Clifford answered the interesting interrogatory. “These, + then,” said Tomlinson, collecting in his hand the common wealth,—“these, + then, are all our remaining treasures!” As he spoke, he jingled the coins + mournfully in his palm, and gazing upon them with a parental air, + exclaimed,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Alas! regardless of their doom, the little victims play!” + </pre> + <p> + “Oh, d—-it!” said Ned, “no sentiment! Let us come to business at + once. To tell you the truth, I, for one, am tired of this heiress-hunting, + and a man may spend a fortune in the chase before he can win one.” + </p> + <p> + “You despair then, positively, of the widow you have courted so long?” + asked Tomlinson. + </p> + <p> + “Utterly,” rejoined Ned, whose addresses had been limited solely to the + dames of the middling class, and who had imagined himself at one time, as + he punningly expressed it, sure of a dear rib from Cheapside,—“utterly; + she was very civil to me at first, but when I proposed, asked me, with a + blush, for my 'references.' 'References?' said I; 'why, I want the place + of your husband, my charmer, not your footman!' The dame was inexorable, + said she could not take me without a character, but hinted that I might be + the lover instead of the bridegroom; and when I scorned the suggestion, + and pressed for the parson, she told me point-blank, with her unlucky city + pronunciation, 'that she would never accompany me to the halter!'” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha, ha!” cried Tomlinson, laughing. “One can scarcely blame the good + lady for that. Love rarely brooks such permanent ties. But have you no + other lady in your eye?” + </p> + <p> + “Not for matrimony,—all roads but those to the church!” While this + dissolute pair were thus conversing, Clifford, leaning against the + wainscot, listened to them with a sick and bitter feeling of degradation, + which till of late days had been a stranger to his breast. He was at + length aroused from his silence by Ned, who, bending forward and placing + his hand upon Clifford's knee, said abruptly,— + </p> + <p> + “In short, Captain, you must lead us once more to glory. We have still our + horses, and I keep my mask in my pocketbook, together with my comb. Let us + take the road to-morrow night, dash across the country towards Salisbury, + and after a short visit in that neighbourhood to a band of old friends of + mine,—bold fellows, who would have stopped the devil himself when he + was at work upon Stonehenge,—make a tour by Reading and Henley and + end by a plunge into London.” + </p> + <p> + “You have spoken well, Ned!” said Tomlinson, approvingly. “Now, noble + captain, your opinion?” + </p> + <p> + “Messieurs,” answered Clifford, “I highly approve of your intended + excursion, and I only regret that I cannot be your companion.” + </p> + <p> + “Not! and why?” cried Mr. Pepper, amazed. + </p> + <p> + “Because I have business here that renders it impossible; perhaps, before + long, I may join you in London.” + </p> + <p> + “Nay,” said Tomlinson, “there is no necessity for our going to London, if + you wish to remain here; nor need we at present recur to so desperate an + expedient as the road,—a little quiet business at Bath will answer + our purpose; and for my part, as you well know, I love exerting my wits in + some scheme more worthy of them than the highway,—a profession + meeter for a bully than a man of genius. Let us then, Captain, plan a + project of enrichment on the property of some credulous tradesman! Why + have recourse to rough measures so long as we can find easy fools?” + </p> + <p> + Clifford shook his head. “I will own to you fairly,” said he, “that I + cannot at present take a share in your exploits; nay, as your chief I must + lay my positive commands on you to refrain from all exercise of your + talents at Bath. Rob, if you please: the world is before you; but this + city is sacred.” + </p> + <p> + “Body o' me!” cried Ned, colouring, “but this is too good. I will not be + dictated to in this manner.” + </p> + <p> + “But, sir,” answered Clifford, who had learned in his oligarchical + profession the way to command,—“but, sir, you shall, or if you + mutiny you leave our body, and then will the hangman have no petty chance + of your own. Come, come! ingrate as you are, what would you be without me? + How many times have I already saved that long carcass of thine from the + rope, and now would you have the baseness to rebel? Out on you!” + </p> + <p> + Though Mr. Pepper was still wroth, he bit his lip in moody silence, and + suffered not his passion to have its way; while Clifford, rising, after a + short pause continued: “Look you, Mr. Pepper, you know my commands; + consider them peremptory. I wish you success and plenty! Farewell, + gentlemen!” + </p> + <p> + “Do you leave us already?” cried Tomlinson. “You are offended.” + </p> + <p> + “Surely not!” answered Clifford, retreating to the door. “But an + engagement elsewhere, you know!” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, I take you,” said Tomlinson, following Clifford out of the room, and + shutting the door after him. “Ay, I take you!” added he, in a whisper, as + he arrested Clifford at the head of the stairs. “But tell me, how do you + get on with the heiress?” + </p> + <p> + Smothering that sensation at his heart which made Clifford, reckless as he + was, enraged and ashamed, whenever through the lips of his comrades there + issued any allusion to Lucy Brandon, the chief replied: “I fear, + Tomlinson, that I am already suspected by the old squire! All of a sudden + he avoids me, shuts his door against me; Miss Brandon goes nowhere, and + even if she did, what could I expect from her after this sudden change in + the father?” + </p> + <p> + Tomlinson looked blank and disconcerted. “But,” said he, after a moment's + silence, “why not put a good face on the matter, walk up to the squire, + and ask him the reason of his unkindness?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, look you, my friend; I am bold enough with all others, but this girl + has made me as bashful as a maid in all that relates to herself. Nay, + there are moments when I think I can conquer all selfish feeling and + rejoice for her sake that she has escaped me. Could I but see her once + more, I could—yes! I feel—I feel I could—resign her + forever!” + </p> + <p> + “Humph!” said Tomlinson; “and what is to become of us? Really, my captain, + your sense of duty should lead you to exert yourself; your friends starve + before your eyes, while you are shilly-shallying about your mistress. Have + you no bowels for friendship?” + </p> + <p> + “A truce with this nonsense!” said Clifford, angrily. + </p> + <p> + “It is sense,—sober sense,—and sadness too,” rejoined + Tomlinson. “Ned is discontented, our debts are imperious. Suppose, now,—just + suppose,—that we take a moonlight flitting from Bath, will that tell + well for you whom we leave behind? Yet this we must do, if you do not + devise some method of refilling our purses. Either, then, consent to join + us in a scheme meet for our wants, or pay our debts in this city, or fly + with us to London, and dismiss all thoughts of that love which is so + seldom friendly to the projects of ambition.” + </p> + <p> + Notwithstanding the manner in which Tomlinson made this threefold + proposition, Clifford could not but acknowledge the sense and justice + contained in it; and a glance at the matter sufficed to show how ruinous + to his character, and therefore to his hopes, would be the flight of his + comrades and the clamour of their creditors. + </p> + <p> + “You speak well, Tomlinson,” said he, hesitating; “and yet for the life of + me I cannot aid you in any scheme which may disgrace us by detection. + Nothing can reconcile me to the apprehension of Miss Brandon's discovering + who and what was her suitor.” + </p> + <p> + “I feel for you,” said Tomlinson, “but give me and Pepper at least + permission to shift for ourselves; trust to my known prudence for finding + some method to raise the wind without creating a dust; in other words + (this cursed Pepper makes one so vulgar!), of preying on the public + without being discovered.” + </p> + <p> + “I see no alternative,” answered Clifford, reluctantly; “but if possible, + be quiet for the present. Bear with me for a few days longer, give me only + sufficient time once more to see Miss Brandon, and I will engage to + extricate you from your difficulties!” + </p> + <p> + “Spoken like yourself, frankly and nobly,” replied Tomlinson; “no one has + a greater confidence in your genius, once exerted, than I have!” + </p> + <p> + So saying, the pair shook hands and parted. Tomlinson rejoined Mr. Pepper. + </p> + <p> + “Well, have you settled anything?” quoth the latter. + </p> + <p> + “Not exactly; and though Lovett has promised to exert himself in a few + days, yet, as the poor man is in love, and his genius under a cloud, I + have little faith in his promises.” + </p> + <p> + “And I have none!” said Pepper; “besides, time presses! A few days!—a + few devils! We are certainly scented here, and I walk about like a barrel + of beer at Christmas, under hourly apprehension of being tapped!” + </p> + <p> + “It is very strange,” said the philosophic Augustus; “but I think there is + an instinct in tradesmen by which they can tell a rogue at first sight; + and I can get (dress I ever so well) no more credit with my laundress than + my friends the Whigs can with the people.” + </p> + <p> + “In short, then,” said Ned, “we must recur at once to the road; and on the + day after to-morrow there will be an excellent opportunity. The old earl + with the hard name gives a breakfast, or feast, or some such mummery. I + understand people will stay till after nightfall; let us watch our + opportunity, we are famously mounted, and some carriage later than the + general string may furnish us with all our hearts can desire!” + </p> + <p> + “Bravo!” cried Tomlinson, shaking Mr. Pepper heartily by the hand; “I give + you joy of your ingenuity, and you may trust to me to make our peace + afterwards with Lovett. Any enterprise that seems to him gallant he is + always willing enough to forgive; and as he never practises any other + branch of the profession than that of the road (for which I confess that I + think him foolish), he will be more ready to look over our exploits in + that line than in any other more subtle but less heroic.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, I leave it to you to propitiate the cove or not, as you please; and + now that we have settled the main point, let us finish the lush!” + </p> + <p> + “And,” added Augustus, taking a pack of cards from the chimney-piece, “we + can in the mean while have a quiet game at cribbage for shillings.” + </p> + <p> + “Done!” cried Ned, clearing away the dessert. + </p> + <p> + If the redoubted hearts of Mr. Edward Pepper, and that Ulysses of robbers, + Augustus Tomlinson, beat high as the hours brought on Lord Mauleverer's + fete, their leader was not without anxiety and expectation for the same + event. He was uninvited, it is true, to the gay scene; but he had heard in + public that Miss Brandon, recovered from her late illness, was certainly + to be there; and Clifford, torn with suspense, and eager once more, even + if for the last time, to see the only person who had ever pierced his soul + with a keen sense of his errors or crimes, resolved to risk all obstacles + and meet her at Mauleverer's. + </p> + <p> + “My life,” said he, as he sat alone in his apartment, eying the falling + embers of his still and lethargic fire, “may soon approach its + termination; it is, indeed, out of the chances of things that I can long + escape the doom of my condition; and when, as a last hope to raise myself + from my desperate state into respectability and reform, I came hither, and + meditated purchasing independence by marriage, I was blind to the cursed + rascality of the action! Happy, after all, that my intentions were + directed against one whom I so soon and so adoringly learned to love! Had + I wooed one whom I loved less, I might not have scrupled to deceive her + into marriage. As it is,—well, it is idle in me to think thus of my + resolution, when I have not even the option to choose; when her father, + perhaps, has already lifted the veil from my assumed dignities, and the + daughter already shrinks in horror from my name. Yet I will see her! I + will look once more upon that angel face, I will hear from her own lips + the confession of her scorn, I will see that bright eye flash hatred upon + me, and I can then turn once more to my fatal career, and forget that I + have ever repented that it was begun. Yet, what else could have been my + alternative? Friendless, homeless, nameless,—an orphan, worse than + an orphan,—the son of a harlot, my father even unknown; yet cursed + with early aspirings and restlessness, and a half glimmering of knowledge, + and an entire lust of whatever seemed enterprise,—what wonder that I + chose anything rather than daily labour and perpetual contumely? After + all, the fault is in fortune and the world, not me! Oh, Lucy! had I but + been born in your sphere, had I but possessed the claim to merit you, what + would I not have done and dared and conquered for your sake!” + </p> + <p> + Such, or similar to these, were the thoughts of Clifford during the + interval between his resolution of seeing Lucy and the time of effecting + it. The thoughts were of no pleasing though of an exciting nature; nor + were they greatly soothed by the ingenious occupation of cheating himself + into the belief that if he was a highwayman, it was altogether the fault + of the highways. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXI. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Dream. Let me but see her, dear Leontins. + Humorous Lieutenant. + + Hempskirke. It was the fellow, sure. + Wolfort. What are you, sirrah? + Beggar's Bush. +</pre> + <p> + O thou divine spirit that burnest in every breast, inciting each with the + sublime desire to be fine; that stirrest up the great to become little in + order to seem greater, and that makest a duchess woo insult for a voucher,—thou + that delightest in so many shapes, multifarious yet the same; spirit that + makest the high despicable, and the lord meaner than his valet; equally + great whether thou cheatest a friend or cuttest a father; lacquering all + thou touchest with a bright vulgarity that thy votaries imagine to be + gold,—thou that sendest the few to fashionable balls and the many to + fashionable novels; that smitest even Genius as well as Folly, making the + favourites of the gods boast an acquaintance they have not with the graces + of a mushroom peerage rather than the knowledge they have of the Muses of + an eternal Helicon,—thou that leavest in the great ocean of our + manners no dry spot for the foot of independence; that pallest on the + jaded eye with a moving and girdling panorama of daubed vilenesses, and + fritterest away the souls of free-born Britons into a powder smaller than + the angels which dance in myriads on a pin's point,—whether, O + spirit! thou callest thyself Fashion or Ton, or Ambition or Vanity or + Cringing or Cant or any title equally lofty and sublime,—would that + from thy wings we could gain but a single plume! Fain would we, in fitting + strain, describe the festivities of that memorable day when the benevolent + Lord Mauleverer received and blessed the admiring universe of Bath. + </p> + <p> + But to be less poetical, as certain writers say, when they have been + writing nonsense,—but to be less poetical and more exact, the + morning, though in the depth of winter, was bright and clear, and Lord + Mauleverer found himself in particularly good health. Nothing could be + better planned than the whole of his arrangements. Unlike those which are + ordinarily chosen for the express reason of being as foreign as possible + to the nature of our climate, all at Lord Mauleverer's were made suitable + to a Greenland atmosphere. The temples and summer-houses, interspersed + through the grounds, were fitted up, some as Esquimaux huts, others as + Russian pavilions; fires were carefully kept up; the musicians Mauleverer + took care should have as much wine as they pleased; they were set + skilfully in places where they were unseen, but where they could be heard. + One or two temporary buildings were erected for those who loved dancing; + and as Mauleverer, miscalculating on the principles of human nature, + thought gentlemen might be averse from ostentatious exhibition, he had + hired persons to skate minuets and figures of eight upon his lakes, for + the amusement of those who were fond of skating. All people who would be + kind enough to dress in strange costumes and make odd noises, which they + called singing, the earl had carefully engaged, and planted in the best + places for making them look still stranger than they were. + </p> + <p> + There was also plenty to eat, and more than plenty to drink. Mauleverer + knew well that our countrymen and countrywomen, whatever be their rank, + like to have their spirits exalted. In short, the whole dejeuner was so + admirably contrived that it was probable the guests would not look much + more melancholy during the amusements than they would have done had they + been otherwise engaged at a funeral. + </p> + <p> + Lucy and the squire were among the first arrivals. Mauleverer, approaching + the father and daughter with his most courtly manner, insisted on taking + the latter under his own escort, and being her cicerone through the round + of preparations. + </p> + <p> + As the crowd thickened, and it was observed how gallant were the + attentions testified towards Lucy by the host, many and envious were the + whispers of the guests! Those good people, naturally angry at the thought + that two individuals should be married, divided themselves into two + parties: one abused Lucy, and the other Lord Mauleverer; the former + vituperated her art, the latter his folly. “I thought she would play her + cards well, deceitful creature!” said the one. “January and May,” muttered + the other; “the man's sixty!” It was noticeable that the party against + Lucy was chiefly composed of ladies, that against Mauleverer of men; that + conduct must indeed be heinous which draws down the indignation of one's + own sex! + </p> + <p> + Unconscious of her crimes, Lucy moved along, leaning on the arm of the + gallant earl, and languidly smiling, with her heart far away, at his + endeavours to amuse her. There was something interesting in the mere + contrast of the pair; so touching seemed the beauty of the young girl, + with her delicate cheek, maiden form, drooping eyelid, and quiet + simplicity of air, in comparison to the worldly countenance and artificial + grace of her companion. + </p> + <p> + After some time, when they were in a sequestered part of the grounds, + Mauleverer, observing that none were near, entered a rude hut; and so + fascinated was he at that moment by the beauty of his guest, and so meet + to him seemed the opportunity of his confession, that he with difficulty + suppressed the avowal rising to his lips, and took the more prudent plan + of first sounding and preparing as it were the way. + </p> + <p> + “I cannot tell you, my dear Miss Brandon,” said he, slightly pressing the + beautiful hand leaning on his arm, “how happy I am to see you the guest—the + queen, rather—of my house! Ah! could the bloom of youth return with + its feelings! Time is never so cruel as when, while stealing from us the + power to please, he leaves us in full vigour the unhappy privilege to be + charmed!” + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer expected at least a blushing contradiction to the implied + application of a sentiment so affectingly expressed: he was disappointed. + Lucy, less alive than usual to the sentimental, or its reverse, scarcely + perceived his meaning, and answered simply that it was very true. “This + comes of being, like my friend Burke, too refined for one's audience,” + thought Mauleverer, wincing a little from the unexpected reply. “And yet!” + he resumed, “I would not forego my power to admire, futile, nay, painful + as it is. Even now, while I gaze on you, my heart tells me that the + pleasure I enjoy, it is at your command at once and forever to blight into + misery; but while it tells me, I gaze on!” + </p> + <p> + Lucy raised her eyes, and something of her natural archness played in + their expression. + </p> + <p> + “I believe, my lord,” said she, moving from the hut, “that it would be + better to join your guests: walls have ears; and what would be the gay + Lord Mauleverer's self-reproach if he heard again of his fine compliments + to—” + </p> + <p> + “The most charming person in Europe!” cried Mauleverer, vehemently; and + the hand which he before touched he now clasped. At that instant Lucy saw + opposite to her, half hid by a copse of evergreens, the figure of + Clifford. His face, which seemed pale and wan, was not directed towards + the place where she stood, and he evidently did not perceive Mauleverer or + herself; yet so great was the effect that this glimpse of him produced on + Lucy, that she trembled violently, and, unconsciously uttering a faint + cry, snatched her hand from Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + The earl started, and catching the expression of her eyes, turned + instantly towards the spot to which her gaze seemed riveted. He had not + heard the rustling of the boughs, but he saw, with his habitual quickness + of remark, that they still trembled, as if lately displaced; and he caught + through their interstices the glimpse of a receding figure. He sprang + forward with an agility very uncommon to his usual movements; but before + he gained the copse, every vestige of the intruder had vanished. + </p> + <p> + What slaves we are to the moment! As Mauleverer turned back to rejoin + Lucy, who, agitated almost to fainting, leaned against the rude wall of + the hut, he would as soon have thought of flying as of making that + generous offer of self, etc., which the instant before he had been burning + to render Lucy. The vain are always sensitively jealous; and Mauleverer, + remembering Clifford, and Lucy's blushes in dancing with him, instantly + accounted for her agitation and its cause. With a very grave air he + approached the object of his late adoration, and requested to know if it + were not some abrupt intruder that had occasioned her alarm. Lucy, + scarcely knowing what she said, answered in a low voice that it was, + indeed, and begged instantly to rejoin her father. Mauleverer offered his + arm with great dignity; and the pair passed into the frequented part of + the grounds, where Mauleverer once more brightened into smiles and + courtesy to all around him. + </p> + <p> + “He is certainly accepted!” said Mr. Shrewd to Lady Simper. + </p> + <p> + “What an immense match for the girl!” was Lady Simper's reply. + </p> + <p> + Amidst the music, the dancing, the throng, the noise, Lucy found it easy + to recover herself; and disengaging her arm from Lord Mauleverer, as she + perceived her father, she rejoined the squire, and remained a patient + listener to his remarks till late in the noon it became an understood + matter that people were expected to go into a long room in order to eat + and drink. Mauleverer, now alive to the duties of his situation, and + feeling exceedingly angry with Lucy, was more reconciled than he otherwise + might have been to the etiquette which obliged him to select for the + object of his hospitable cares an old dowager duchess instead of the + beauty of the fete; but he took care to point out to the squire the places + appointed for himself and daughter, which were, though at some distance + from the earl, under the providence of his vigilant survey. + </p> + <p> + While Mauleverer was deifying the dowager duchess, and refreshing his + spirits with a chicken and a medicinal glass of madeira, the conversation + near Lucy turned, to her infinite dismay, upon Clifford. Some one had seen + him in the grounds, booted and in a riding undress (in that day people + seldom rode and danced in the same conformation of coat); and as + Mauleverer was a precise person about those little matters of etiquette, + this negligence of Clifford's made quite a subject of discussion. By + degrees the conversation changed into the old inquiry as to who this + Captain Clifford was; and just as it had reached that point, it reached + also the gently deafened ears of Lord Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + “Pray, my lord,” said the old duchess, “since he is one of your guests, + you, who know who and what every one is, can possibly inform us of the + real family of this beautiful Mr. Clifford?” + </p> + <p> + “One of my guests, did you say?” answered Mauleverer, irritated greatly + beyond his usual quietness of manner. “Really, your grace does me wrong. + He may be a guest of my valet, but he assuredly is not mine; and should I + encounter him, I shall leave it to my valet to give him his conge as well + as his invitation!” + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer, heightening his voice as he observed athwart the table an + alternate paleness and flush upon Lucy's face, which stung all the angrier + passions, generally torpid in him, into venom, looked round, on + concluding, with a haughty and sarcastic air. So loud had been his tone, + so pointed the insult, and so dead the silence at the table while he + spoke, that every one felt the affront must be carried at once to + Clifford's hearing, should he be in the room. And after Mauleverer had + ceased, there was a universal nervous and indistinct expectation of an + answer and a scene; all was still, and it soon became certain that + Clifford was not in the apartment. When Mr. Shrewd had fully convinced + himself of this fact,—for there was a daring spirit about Clifford + which few wished to draw upon themselves,—that personage broke the + pause by observing that no man who pretended to be a gentleman would + intrude himself, unasked and unwelcome, into any society; and Mauleverer, + catching up the observation, said (drinking wine at the same time with Mr. + Shrewd) that undoubtedly such conduct fully justified the rumours + respecting Mr. Clifford, and utterly excluded him from that rank to which + it was before more than suspected he had no claim. + </p> + <p> + So luminous and satisfactory an opinion from such an authority, once + broached, was immediately and universally echoed; and long before the + repast was over, it seemed to be tacitly agreed that Captain Clifford + should be sent to Coventry, and if he murmured at the exile, he would have + no right to insist upon being sent thence to the devil. + </p> + <p> + The good old squire, mindful of his former friendship for Clifford, and + not apt to veer, was about to begin a speech on the occasion, when Lucy, + touching his arm, implored him to be silent; and so ghastly was the + paleness of her cheek while she spoke, that the squire's eyes, obtuse as + he generally was, opened at once to the real secret of her heart. As soon + as the truth flashed upon him, he wondered, recalling Clifford's great + personal beauty and marked attentions, that it had not flashed upon him + sooner; and leaning back on his chair, he sank into one of the most + unpleasant reveries he had ever conceived. + </p> + <p> + At a given signal the music for the dancers recommenced, and at a hint to + that effect from the host, persons rose without ceremony to repair to + other amusements, and suffer such guests as had hitherto been excluded + from eating to occupy the place of the relinquishers. Lucy, glad to + escape, was one of the first to resign her situation, and with the squire + she returned to the grounds. During the banquet, evening had closed in, + and the scene now really became fairy-like and picturesque; lamps hung + from many a tree, reflecting the light through the richest and softest + hues; the music itself sounded more musically than during the day; + gipsy-tents were pitched at wild corners and copses, and the bright + wood-fires burning in them blazed merrily upon the cold yet cheerful air + of the increasing night. The view was really novel and inviting; and as it + had been an understood matter that ladies were to bring furs, cloaks, and + boots, all those who thought they looked well in such array made little + groups, and scattered themselves about the grounds and in the tents. They, + on the contrary, in whom “the purple light of love” was apt by the frost + to be propelled from the cheeks to the central ornament of the face, or + who thought a fire in a room quite as agreeable as a fire in a tent, + remained within, and contemplated the scene through the open windows. + </p> + <p> + Lucy longed to return home, nor was the squire reluctant; but, unhappily, + it wanted an hour to the time at which the carriage had been ordered, and + she mechanically joined a group of guests who had persuaded the + good-natured squire to forget his gout and venture forth to look at the + illuminations. Her party was soon joined by others, and the group + gradually thickened into a crowd; the throng was stationary for a few + minutes before a little temple in which fireworks had just commenced an + additional attraction to the scene. Opposite to this temple, as well as in + its rear, the walks and trees had been purposely left in comparative + darkness, in order to heighten the effect of the fireworks. + </p> + <p> + “I declare,” said Lady Simper, glancing down one of the alleys which + seemed to stretch away into blackness,—“I declare it seems quite a + lovers' walk. How kind in Lord Mauleverer!—such a delicate attention—” + </p> + <p> + “To your ladyship!” added Mr. Shrewd, with a bow. While, one of this + crowd, Lucy was vacantly eying the long trains of light which ever and + anon shot against the sky, she felt her hand suddenly seized, and at the + same time a voice whispered, “For God's sake, read this now and grant my + request!” + </p> + <p> + The voice, which seemed to rise from the very heart of the speaker, Lucy + knew at once; she trembled violently, and remained for some minutes with + eyes which did not dare to look from the ground. A note she felt had been + left in her hand; and the agonized and earnest tone of that voice, which + was dearer to her than the fulness of all music, made her impatient yet + afraid to read it. As she recovered courage, she looked around, and seeing + that the attention of all was bent upon the fireworks, and that her father + in particular, leaning on his cane, seemed to enjoy the spectacle with a + child's engrossed delight, she glided softly away, and entering + unperceived one of the alleys, she read, by a solitary lamp that burned at + its entrance, the following lines, written in pencil and in a hurried + hand, apparently upon a leaf torn from a pocket-book:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + I implore, I entreat you, Miss Brandon, to see me, if but for a + moment. I purpose to tear myself away from the place in which you + reside, to go abroad, to leave even the spot hallowed by your + footstep. After this night my presence, my presumption, will + degrade you no more. But this night, for mercy's sake, see me, or I + shall go mad! I will but speak to you one instant: this is all I + ask. If you grant me this prayer, the walk to the left where you + stand, at the entrance to which there is one purple lamp, will + afford an opportunity to your mercy. A few yards down that walk I + will meet you,—none can see or hear us. Will you grant this? I + know not, I dare not think; but under any case, your name shall be + the last upon my lips. + P. C. +</pre> + <p> + As Lucy read this hurried scrawl, she glanced towards the lamp above her, + and saw that she had accidentally entered the very walk indicated in the + note. She paused, she hesitated; the impropriety, the singularity of the + request, darted upon her at once; on the other hand, the anxious voice + still ringing in her ear, the incoherent vehemence of the note, the risk, + the opprobrium Clifford had incurred solely—her heart whispered—to + see her, all aided her simple temper, her kind feelings, and her love for + the petitioner, in inducing her to consent. She cast one glance behind,—all + seemed occupied with far other thoughts than that of notice towards her; + she looked anxiously before,—all looked gloomy and indistinct; but + suddenly, at some little distance, she descried a dark figure in motion. + She felt her knees shake under her, her heart beat violently; she moved + onward a few paces, again paused, and looked back. The figure before her + moved as in approach; she resumed courage, and advanced,—the figure + was by her side. + </p> + <p> + “How generous, how condescending, is this goodness in Miss Brandon!” said + the voice, which so struggled with secret and strong emotion that Lucy + scarcely recognized it as Clifford's. “I did not dare to expect it; and + now—now that I meet you—” Clifford paused, as if seeking + words; and Lucy, even through the dark, perceived that her strange + companion was powerfully excited; she waited for him to continue, but + observing that he walked on in silence, she said, though with a trembling + voice, “Indeed, Mr. Clifford, I fear that it is very, very improper in me + to meet you thus; nothing but the strong expressions in your letter—and—and—in + short, my fear that you meditated some desperate design, at which I could + not guess, caused me to yield to your wish for an interview.” She paused, + and Clifford still preserving silence, she added, with some little + coldness in her tone: “If you have really aught to say to me, you must + allow me to request that you speak it quickly. This interview, you must be + sensible, ought to end almost as soon as it begins.” + </p> + <p> + “Hear me, then!” said Clifford, mastering his embarrassment and speaking + in a firm and clear voice; “is that true which I have but just heard,—is + it true that I have been spoken of in your presence in terms of insult and + affront?” + </p> + <p> + It was now for Lucy to feel embarrassed; fearful to give pain, and yet + anxious that Clifford should know, in order that he might disprove, the + slight and the suspicion which the mystery around him drew upon his name, + she faltered between the two feelings, and without satisfying the latter, + succeeded in realizing the fear of the former. + </p> + <p> + “Enough!” said Clifford, in a tone of deep mortification, as his quick ear + caught and interpreted, yet more humiliatingly than the truth, the meaning + of her stammered and confused reply,—“enough! I see that it is true, + and that the only human being in the world to whose good opinion I am not + indifferent has been a witness of the insulting manner in which others + have dared to speak of me!” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Lucy, eagerly, “why give the envious or the idle any excuse? + Why not suffer your parentage and family to be publicly known? Why are you + here”—and her voice sank into a lower key—“this very day, + unasked, and therefore subject to the cavils of all who think the poor + distinction of an invitation an honour? Forgive me, Mr. Clifford; perhaps + I offend. I hurt you by speaking thus frankly; but your good name rests + with yourself, and your friends cannot but feel angry that you should + trifle with it.” + </p> + <p> + “Madam,” said Clifford; and Lucy's eyes, now growing accustomed to the + darkness, perceived a bitter smile upon his lips, “my name, good or ill, + is an object of little care to me. I have read of philosophers who pride + themselves in placing no value in the opinions of the world. Rank me among + that sect. But I am—I own I am—anxious that you alone, of all + the world, should not despise me; and now that I feel you do, that you + must, everything worth living or hoping for is past!” + </p> + <p> + “Despise you!” said Lucy, and her eyes filled with tears; “indeed you + wrong me and yourself. But listen to me, Mr. Clifford. I have seen, it is + true, but little of the world, yet I have seen enough to make me wish I + could have lived in retirement forever. The rarest quality among either + sex, though it is the simplest, seems to me good-nature; and the only + occupation of what are termed 'fashionable people' appears to be speaking + ill of one another. Nothing gives such a scope to scandal as mystery; + nothing disarms it like openness. I know, your friends know, Mr. Clifford, + that your character can bear inspection; and I believe, for my own part, + the same of your family. Why not, then, declare who and what you are?” + </p> + <p> + “That candour would indeed be my best defender,” said Clifford, in a tone + which ran displeasingly through Lucy's ear; “but in truth, madam, I + repeat, I care not one drop of this worthless blood what men say of me: + that time has passed, and forever; perhaps it never keenly existed for me,—no + matter. I came hither, Miss Brandon, not wasting a thought on these + sickening fooleries, or on the hoary idler by whom they are given. I came + hither only once more to see you, to hear you speak, to watch you move, to + tell you”—and the speaker's voice trembled, so as to be scarcely + audible—“to tell you, if any reason for the disclosure offered + itself, that I have had the boldness, the crime, to love—to love—O + God! to adore you; and then to leave you forever!” + </p> + <p> + Pale, trembling, scarcely preserved from falling by the tree against which + she leaned, Lucy listened to this abrupt avowal. “Dare I touch this hand?” + continued Clifford, as he knelt and took it timidly and reverently. “You + know not, you cannot dream, how unworthy is he who thus presumes; yet not + all unworthy, while he is sensible of so deep, so holy a feeling as that + which he bears to you. God bless you, Miss Brandon!—Lucy, God bless + you! And if hereafter you hear me subjected to still blacker suspicion or + severer scrutiny than that which I now sustain; if even your charity and + goodness can find no defence for me; if the suspicion become certainty, + and the scrutiny end in condemnation,—believe at least that + circumstances have carried me beyond my nature, and that under fairer + auspices I might have been other than I am!” + </p> + <p> + Lucy's tear dropped upon Clifford's hand as he spoke; and while his heart + melted within him as he felt it and knew his own desperate and unredeemed + condition, he added,— + </p> + <p> + “Every one courts you,—the proud, the rich, the young, the + high-born,—all are at your feet! You will select one of that number + for your husband; may he watch over you as I would have done!—love + you as I do he cannot! Yes, I repeat it,” continued Clifford, vehemently,—“he + cannot! None amidst the gay, happy, silken crowd of your equals and + followers can feel for you that single and overruling passion which makes + you to me what all combined—country, power, wealth, reputation, an + honest name, peace, common safety, the quiet of the common air, alike the + least blessing and the greatest-are to all others! Once more, may God in + heaven watch over you and preserve you! I tear myself, on leaving you, + from all that cheers or blesses or raises or might have saved me! + Farewell!” + </p> + <p> + The hand which Lucy had relinquished to her strange suitor was pressed + ardently to his lips, dropped in the same instant, and she knew that she + was once more alone. + </p> + <p> + But Clifford, hurrying rapidly through the trees, made his way towards the + nearest gate which led from Lord Mauleverer's domain; when he reached it, + a crowd of the more elderly guests occupied the entrance, and one of these + was a lady of such distinction that Mauleverer, in spite of his aversion + to any superfluous exposure to the night air, had obliged himself to + conduct her to her carriage. He was in a very ill humour with this + constrained politeness, especially as the carriage was very slow in + relieving him of his charge, when he saw, by the lamplight, Clifford + passing near him, and winning his way to the gate. Quite forgetting his + worldly prudence, which should have made him averse to scenes with any + one, especially with a flying enemy, and a man with whom, if he believed + aright, little glory was to be gained in conquest, much less in contest; + and only remembering Clifford's rivalship, and his own hatred towards him + for the presumption, Mauleverer, uttering a hurried apology to the lady on + his arm, stepped forward, and opposing Clifford's progress, said, with a + bow of tranquil insult, “Pardon me, sir, but is it at my invitation or + that of one of my servants that you have honoured me with your company + this day?” + </p> + <p> + Clifford's thoughts at the time of this interruption were of that nature + before which all petty misfortunes shrink into nothing; if, therefore, he + started for a moment at the earl's address, he betrayed no embarrassment + in reply, but bowing with an air of respect, and taking no notice of the + affront implied in Mauleverer's speech, he answered,— + </p> + <p> + “Your lordship has only to deign a glance at my dress to see that I have + not intruded myself on your grounds with the intention of claiming your + hospitality. The fact is, and I trust to your lordship's courtesy to admit + the excuse, that I leave this neighbourhood to-morrow, and for some length + of time. A person whom I was very anxious to see before I left was one of + your lordship's guests; I heard this, and knew that I should have no other + opportunity of meeting the person in question before my departure; and I + must now throw myself on the well-known politeness of Lord Mauleverer to + pardon a freedom originating in a business very much approaching to a + necessity.” + </p> + <p> + Lord Mauleverer's address to Clifford had congregated an immediate crowd + of eager and expectant listeners; but so quietly respectful and really + gentlemanlike were Clifford's air and tone in excusing himself, that the + whole throng were smitten with a sudden disappointment. + </p> + <p> + Lord Mauleverer himself, surprised by the temper and deportment of the + unbidden guest, was at a loss for one moment; and Clifford was about to + take advantage of that moment and glide away, when Mauleverer, with a + second bow, more civil than the former one, said,— + </p> + <p> + “I cannot but be happy, sir, that my poor place has afforded you any + convenience; but if I am not very impertinent, will you allow me to + inquire the name of my guest with whom you required a meeting?” + </p> + <p> + “My lord,” said Clifford, drawing himself up and speaking gravely and + sternly, though still with a certain deference, “I need not surely point + out to your lordship's good sense and good feeling that your very question + implies a doubt, and consequently an affront, and that the tone of it is + not such as to justify that concession on my part which the further + explanation you require would imply!” + </p> + <p> + Few spoken sarcasms could be so bitter as that silent one which Mauleverer + could command by a smile, and with this complimentary expression on his + thin lips and raised brow, the earl answered: “Sir, I honour the skill + testified by your reply; it must be the result of a profound experience in + these affairs. I wish you, sir, a very good night; and the next time you + favour me with a visit, I am quite sure that your motives for so indulging + me will be no less creditable to you than at present.” + </p> + <p> + With these words Mauleverer turned to rejoin his fair charge. But Clifford + was a man who had seen in a short time a great deal of the world, and knew + tolerably well the theories of society, if not the practice of its + minutiae; moreover, he was of an acute and resolute temper, and these + properties of mind, natural and acquired, told him that he was now in a + situation in which it had become more necessary to defy than to + conciliate. Instead therefore of retiring he walked deliberately up to + Mauleverer, and said,— + </p> + <p> + “My lord, I shall leave it to the judgment of your guests to decide + whether you have acted the part of a nobleman and a gentleman in thus, in + your domains, insulting one who has given you such explanation of his + trespass as would fully excuse him in the eyes of all considerate or + courteous persons. I shall also leave it to them to decide whether the + tone of your inquiry allowed me to give you any further apology. But I + shall take it upon myself, my lord, to demand from you an immediate + explanation of your last speech.” + </p> + <p> + “Insolent!” cried Mauleverer, colouring with indignation, and almost for + the first time in his life losing absolute command over his temper; “do + you bandy words with me? Begone, or I shall order my servants to thrust + you forth!” + </p> + <p> + “Begone, sir! begone!” cried several voices in echo to Mauleverer, from + those persons who deemed it now high time to take part with the powerful. + </p> + <p> + Clifford stood his ground, gazing around with a look of angry and defying + contempt, which, joined to his athletic frame, his dark and fierce eye, + and a heavy riding-whip, which, as if mechanically, he half raised, + effectually kept the murmurers from proceeding to violence. + </p> + <p> + “Poor pretender to breeding and to sense!” said he, disdainfully turning + to Mauleverer; “with one touch of this whip I could shame you forever, or + compel you to descend from the level of your rank to that of mine, and the + action would be but a mild return to your language. But I love rather to + teach you than to correct. According to my creed, my lord, he conquers + most in good breeding who forbears the most,—scorn enables me to + forbear! Adieu!” + </p> + <p> + With this, Clifford turned on his heel and strode away. A murmur, + approaching to a groan, from the younger or sillier part of the parasites + (the mature and the sensible have no extra emotion to throw away), + followed him as he disappeared. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXII. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Outlaw. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about you! + + Val. Ruffians, forego that rude, uncivil touch! + + The Two Gentlemen of Verona. +</pre> + <p> + On leaving the scene in which he had been so unwelcome a guest, Clifford + hastened to the little inn where he had left his horse. He mounted and + returned to Bath. His thoughts were absent, and he unconsciously suffered + the horse to direct its course whither it pleased. This was naturally + towards the nearest halting-place which the animal remembered; and this + halting-place was at that illustrious tavern, in the suburbs of the town, + in which we have before commemorated Clifford's re-election to the dignity + of chief. It was a house of long-established reputation; and here news of + any of the absent confederates was always to be obtained. This + circumstance, added to the excellence of its drink, its ease, and the + electric chain of early habits, rendered it a favourite haunt, even + despite their present gay and modish pursuits, with Tomlinson and Pepper; + and here, when Clifford sought the pair at unseasonable hours, was he for + the most part sure to find them. As his meditations were interrupted by + the sudden stopping of his horse beneath the well-known sign, Clifford, + muttering an angry malediction on the animal, spurred it onward in the + direction of his own home. He had already reached the end of the street, + when his resolution seemed to change, and muttering to himself, “Ay, I + might as well arrange this very night for our departure!” he turned his + horse's head backward, and was once more at the tavern door. He threw the + bridle over an iron railing, and knocking with a peculiar sound at the + door, was soon admitted. + </p> + <p> + “Are ——— and ———- here?” asked he of + the old woman, as he entered, mentioning the cant words by which, among + friends, Tomlinson and Pepper were usually known. + </p> + <p> + “They are both gone on the sharps to-night,” replied the old lady, lifting + her unsnuffed candle to the face of the speaker with an intelligent look; + “Oliver (the moon) is sleepy, and the lads will take advantage of his + nap.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you mean,” answered Clifford, replying in the same key, which we take + the liberty to paraphrase, “that they are out on any actual expedition?” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure,” rejoined the dame. “They who lag late on the road may want + money for supper!” + </p> + <p> + “Ha! which road?” + </p> + <p> + “You are a pretty fellow for captain!” rejoined the dame, with a + good-natured sarcasm in her tone. “Why, Captain Gloak, poor fellow! knew + every turn of his men to a hair, and never needed to ask what they were + about. Ah, he was a fellow! none of your girl-faced mudgers, who make love + to ladies, forsooth,—a pretty woman need not look far for a kiss + when he was in the room, I warrant, however coarse her duds might be; and + lauk! but the captain was a sensible man, and liked a cow as well as a + calf.” + </p> + <p> + “So, so! on the road, are they?” cried Clifford, musingly, and without + heeding the insinuated attack on his decorum. “But answer me, what is the + plan? Be quick!” + </p> + <p> + “Why,” replied the dame, “there's some swell cove of a lord gives a + blow-out to-day; and the lads, dear souls! think to play the queer on some + straggler.” + </p> + <p> + Without uttering a word, Clifford darted from the house, and was remounted + before the old lady had time to recover her surprise. + </p> + <p> + “If you want to see them,” cried she, as he put spurs to his horse, “they + ordered me to have supper ready at———” The horse's hoofs + drowned the last words of the dame; and carefully rebolting the door, and + muttering an invidious comparison between Captain Clifford and Captain + Gloak, the good landlady returned to those culinary operations destined to + rejoice the hearts of Tomlinson and Pepper. + </p> + <p> + Return we ourselves to Lucy. It so happened that the squire's carriage was + the last to arrive; for the coachman, long uninitiated among the shades of + Warlock into the dissipation of fashionable life, entered on his debut at + Bath, with all the vigorous heat of matured passions for the first time + released, into the festivities of the ale-house, and having a milder + master than most of his comrades, the fear of displeasure was less strong + in his aurigal bosom than the love of companionship; so that during the + time this gentleman was amusing himself, Lucy had ample leisure for + enjoying all the thousand-and-one reports of the scene between Mauleverer + and Clifford which regaled her ears. Nevertheless, whatever might have + been her feelings at these pleasing recitals, a certain vague joy + predominated over all. A man feels but slight comparative happiness in + being loved, if he know that it is in vain; but to a woman that simple + knowledge is sufficient to destroy the memory of a thousand distresses, + and it is not till she has told her heart again and again that she is + loved, that she will even begin to ask if it be in vain. + </p> + <p> + It was a partially starlight yet a dim and obscure night, for the moon had + for the last hour or two been surrounded by mist and cloud, when at length + the carriage arrived; and Mauleverer, for the second time that evening + playing the escort, conducted Lucy to the vehicle. Anxious to learn if she + had seen or been addressed by Clifford, the subtle earl, as he led her to + the gate, dwelt particularly on the intrusion of that person, and by the + trembling of the hand which rested on his arm, he drew no delicious omen + for his own hopes. “However,” thought he, “the man goes to-morrow, and + then the field will be clear; the girl's a child yet, and I forgive her + folly.” And with an air of chivalric veneration, Mauleverer bowed the + object of his pardon into her carriage. + </p> + <p> + As soon as Lucy felt herself alone with her father, the emotions so long + pent within her forced themselves into vent, and leaning back against + the carriage, she wept, though in silence, tears, burning tears, of + sorrow, comfort, agitation, anxiety. + </p> + <p> + The good old squire was slow in perceiving his daughter's emotion; it + would have escaped him altogether, if, actuated by a kindly warming of the + heart towards her, originating in his new suspicion of her love for + Clifford, he had not put his arm round her neck; and this unexpected + caress so entirely unstrung her nerves that Lucy at once threw herself + upon her father's breast, and her weeping, hitherto so quiet, became + distinct and audible. + </p> + <p> + “Be comforted, my dear, dear child!” said the squire, almost affected to + tears himself; and his emotion, arousing him from his usual mental + confusion, rendered his words less involved and equivocal than they were + wont to be. “And now I do hope that you won't vex yourself; the young man + is indeed—and, I do assure you, I always thought so—a very + charming gentleman, there's no denying it. But what can we do? You see + what they all say of him, and it really was—we must allow that—very + improper in him to come without being asked. Moreover, my dearest child, + it is very wrong, very wrong indeed, to love any one, and not know who he + is; and—and—but don't cry, my dear love, don't cry so; all + will be very well, I am sure,—quite sure!” + </p> + <p> + As he said this, the kind old man drew his daughter nearer him, and + feeling his hand hurt by something she wore unseen which pressed against + it, he inquired, with some suspicion that the love might have proceeded to + love-gifts, what it was. + </p> + <p> + “It is my mother's picture,” said Lucy, simply, and putting it aside. + </p> + <p> + The old squire had loved his wife tenderly; and when Lucy made this reply, + all the fond and warm recollections of his youth rushed upon him. He + thought, too, how earnestly on her death-bed that wife had recommended to + his vigilant care their only child now weeping on his bosom: he remembered + how, dwelling on that which to all women seems the grand epoch of life, + she had said, “Never let her affections be trifled with,—never be + persuaded by your ambitious brother to make her marry where she loves not, + or to oppose her, without strong reason, where she does: though she be but + a child now, I know enough of her to feel convinced that if ever she love, + she will love too well for her own happiness, even with all things in her + favour.” These words, these recollections, joined to the remembrance of + the cold-hearted scheme of William Brandon, which he had allowed himself + to favour, and of his own supineness towards Lucy's growing love for + Clifford, till resistance became at once necessary and too late, all smote + him with a remorseful sorrow, and fairly sobbing himself, he said, “Thy + mother, child! ah, would that she were living, she would never have + neglected thee as I have done!” + </p> + <p> + The squire's self-reproach made Lucy's tears cease on the instant; and as + she covered her father's hands with kisses, she replied only by vehement + accusations against herself, and praises of his too great fatherly + fondness and affection. This little burst, on both sides, of honest and + simple-hearted love ended in a silence full of tender and mingled + thoughts; and as Lucy still clung to the breast of the old man, uncouth as + he was in temper, below even mediocrity in intellect, and altogether the + last person in age or mind or habit that seemed fit for a confidant in the + love of a young and enthusiastic girl, she felt the old homely truth that + under all disadvantages there are, in this hollow world, few in whom trust + can be so safely reposed, few who so delicately and subtilely respect the + confidence, as those from whom we spring. + </p> + <p> + The father and daughter had been silent for some minutes, and the former + was about to speak, when the carriage suddenly stopped. The squire heard a + rough voice at the horses' heads; he looked forth from the window to see, + through the mist of the night, what could possibly be the matter, and he + encountered in this action, just one inch from his forehead, the protruded + and shining barrel of a horse-pistol. We may believe, without a reflection + on his courage, that Mr. Brandon threw himself back into his carriage with + all possible despatch; and at the same moment the door was opened, and a + voice said, not in a threatening but a smooth accent,— + </p> + <p> + “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry to disturb you, but want is imperious; + oblige me with your money, your watches, your rings, and any other little + commodities of a similar nature!” + </p> + <p> + So delicate a request the squire had not the heart to resist, the more + especially as he knew himself without any weapons of defence; accordingly + he drew out a purse, not very full, it must be owned,—together with + an immense silver hunting-watch, with a piece of black ribbon attached to + it. + </p> + <p> + “There, sir,” said he, with a groan, “don't frighten the young lady.” + </p> + <p> + The gentle applicant, who indeed was no other than the specious Augustus + Tomlinson, slid the purse into his waistcoat-pocket, after feeling its + contents with a rapid and scientific finger. + </p> + <p> + “Your watch, sir,” quoth he,—and as he spoke he thrust it carelessly + into his coat-pocket, as a school-boy would thrust a peg-top,—“is + heavy; but trusting to experience, since an accurate survey is denied me, + I fear it is more valuable from its weight than its workmanship: however, + I will not wound your vanity by affecting to be fastidious. But surely the + young lady, as you call her,—for I pay you the compliment of + believing your word as to her age, inasmuch as the night is too dark to + allow me the happiness of a personal inspection,—the young lady has + surely some little trinket she can dispense with. 'Beauty when unadorned,' + you know, etc.” + </p> + <p> + Lucy, who, though greatly frightened, lost neither her senses nor her + presence of mind, only answered by drawing forth a little silk purse, that + contained still less than the leathern convenience of the squire; to this + she added a gold chain; and Tomlinson, taking them with an affectionate + squeeze of the hand and a polite apology, was about to withdraw, when his + sagacious eyes were suddenly stricken by the gleam of jewels. The fact was + that in altering the position of her mother's picture, which had been set + in the few hereditary diamonds possessed by the Lord of Warlock, Lucy had + allowed it to hang on the outside of her dress, and bending forward to + give the robber her other possessions, the diamonds at once came in full + sight, and gleamed the more invitingly from the darkness of the night. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, madam,” said Tomlinson, stretching forth his hand, “you would play me + false, would you? Treachery should never go unpunished. Favour me + instantly with the little ornament round your neck!” + </p> + <p> + “I cannot,—I cannot!” said Lucy, grasping her treasure with both her + hands; “it is my mother's picture, and my mother is dead!” + </p> + <p> + “The wants of others, madam,” returned Tomlinson, who could not for the + life of him rob immorally, “are ever more worthy your attention than + family prejudices. Seriously, give it, and that instantly; we are in a + hurry, and your horses are plunging like devils: they will break your + carriage in an instant,—despatch!” + </p> + <p> + The squire was a brave man on the whole, though no hero; and the nerves of + an old fox-hunter soon recover from a little alarm. The picture of his + buried wife was yet more inestimable to him than it was to Lucy, and at + this new demand his spirit was roused within him. + </p> + <p> + He clenched his fists, and advancing himself as it were on his seat, he + cried in a loud voice,— + </p> + <p> + “Begone, fellow! I have given you—for my own part I think so—too + much already; and, by God, you shall not have the picture!” + </p> + <p> + “Don't force me to use violence,” said Augustus; and putting one foot on + the carriage-step, he brought his pistol within a few inches of Lucy's + breast, rightly judging, perhaps, that the show of danger to her would be + the best method to intimidate the squire. At that instant the valorous + moralist found himself suddenly seized with a powerful gripe on the + shoulder; and a low voice, trembling with passion, hissed in his ear. + Whatever might be the words that startled his organs, they operated as an + instantaneous charm; and to their astonishment, the squire and Lucy beheld + their assailant abruptly withdraw. The door of the carriage was clapped + to, and scarcely two minutes had elapsed before, the robber having + remounted, his comrade, hitherto stationed at the horses' heads, set spurs + to his own steed, and the welcome sound of receding hoofs smote upon the + bewildered ears of the father and daughter. + </p> + <p> + The door of the carriage was again opened; and a voice, which made Lucy + paler than the preceding terror, said,— + </p> + <p> + “I fear, Mr. Brandon, the robbers have frightened your daughter. There is + now, however, nothing to fear; the ruffians are gone.” + </p> + <p> + “God bless me!” said the squire; “why, is that Captain Clifford?” + </p> + <p> + “It is; and he conceives himself too fortunate to have been of the + smallest service to Mr. and Miss Brandon.” + </p> + <p> + On having convinced himself that it was indeed to Mr. Clifford that he + owed his safety as well as that of his daughter, whom he believed to have + been in a far more imminent peril than she really was,—for to tell + thee the truth, reader, the pistol of Tomlinson was rather calculated for + show than use, having a peculiarly long bright barrel with nothing in it,—the + squire was utterly at a loss how to express his gratitude; and when he + turned to Lucy to beg she would herself thank their gallant deliverer, he + found that, overpowered with various emotions, she had, for the first time + in her life, fainted away. + </p> + <p> + “Good heavens!” cried the alarmed father, “she is dead,—my Lucy, my + Lucy, they have killed her!” + </p> + <p> + To open the door nearest to Lucy, to bear her from the carriage in his + arms, was to Clifford the work of an instant. Utterly unconscious of the + presence of any one else,—unconscious even of what he said, he + poured forth a thousand wild, passionate, yet half-audible expressions; + and as he bore her to a bank by the roadside, and seating himself + supported her against his bosom, it would be difficult perhaps to say, + whether something of delight—of burning and thrilling delight—was + not mingled with his anxiety and terror. He chafed her small hands in his + own; his breath, all trembling and warm, glowed upon her cheek; and once, + and but once, his lips drew nearer, and breathing aside the dishevelled + richness of her tresses, clung in a long and silent kiss to her own. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile, by the help of the footman, who had now somewhat recovered his + astonished senses, the squire descended from his carriage, and approached + with faltering steps the place where his daughter reclined. At the instant + that he took her hand, Lucy began to revive; and the first action, in the + bewildered unconsciousness of awaking, was to throw her arm around the + neck of her supporter. + </p> + <p> + Could all the hours and realities of hope, joy, pleasure, in Clifford's + previous life have been melted down and concentrated into a single + emotion, that emotion would have been but tame to the rapture of Lucy's + momentary and innocent caress! And at a later yet no distant period, when + in the felon's cell the grim visage of Death scowled upon him, it may be + questioned whether his thoughts dwelt not far more often on the + remembrance of that delightful moment than on the bitterness and ignominy + of an approaching doom. + </p> + <p> + “She breathes,—she moves,—she wakes!” cried the father; and + Lucy, attempting to rise, and recognizing the squire's voice, said + faintly,— + </p> + <p> + “Thank God, my dear father, you are not hurt! And are they really gone?—and + where—where are we?” + </p> + <p> + The squire, relieving Clifford of his charge, folded his child in his + arms, while in his own elucidatory manner he informed her where she was, + and with whom. The lovers stood face to face to each other; but what + delicious blushes did the night, which concealed all but the outline of + their forms, hide from the eyes of Clifford! + </p> + <p> + The honest and kind heart of Mr. Brandon was glad of a release to the + indulgent sentiments it had always cherished towards the suspected and + maligned Clifford, and turning now from Lucy, it fairly poured itself + forth upon her deliverer. He grasped him warmly by the hand, and insisted + upon his accompanying them to Bath in the carriage, and allowing the + footman to ride his horse. This offer was still pending, when the footman, + who had been to see after the health and comfort of his fellow-servant, + came to inform the party, in a dolorous accent, of something which, in the + confusion and darkness of the night, they had not yet learned,—namely, + that the horses and coachman were gone! + </p> + <p> + “Gone!” said the squire, “gone! Why, the villains can't (for my part, I + never believe, though I have heard such wonders of, those sleight of hand) + have bagged them!” + </p> + <p> + Here a low groan was audible; and the footman, sympathetically guided to + the spot whence it emanated, found the huge body of the coachman safely + deposited, with its face downward, in the middle of the kennel. After this + worthy had been lifted to his legs, and had shaken himself into + intelligence, it was found that when the robber had detained the horses, + the coachman, who required very little to conquer his more bellicose + faculties, had—he himself said, by a violent blow from the ruffian, + though, perhaps, the cause lay nearer home—quitted the coach-box for + the kennel, the horses grew frightened, and after plunging and rearing + till he cared no longer to occupy himself with their arrest, the + highwayman had very quietly cut the traces, and by the time present, it + was not impossible that the horses were almost at the door of their + stables at Bath. + </p> + <p> + The footman who had apprised the squire of this misfortune was, unlike + most news-tellers, the first to offer consolation. “There be an excellent + public,” quoth he, “about a half a mile on, where your honour could get + horses; or, mayhap, if Miss Lucy, poor heart, be faint, you may like to + stop for the night.” + </p> + <p> + Though a walk of half a mile in a dark night and under other circumstances + would not have seemed a grateful proposition, yet at present, when the + squire's imagination had only pictured to him the alternatives of passing + the night in the carriage or of crawling on foot to Bath, it seemed but a + very insignificant hardship; and tucking his daughter's arm under his own, + while in a kind voice he told Clifford “to support her on the other side,” + the squire ordered the footman to lead the way with Clifford's horse, and + the coachman to follow or be d—-d, whichever he pleased. + </p> + <p> + In silence Clifford offered his arm to Lucy, and silently she accepted the + courtesy. The squire was the only talker; and the theme he chose was not + ungrateful to Lucy, for it was the praise of her lover. But Clifford + scarcely listened, for a thousand thoughts and feelings contested within + him; and the light touch of Lucy's hand upon his arm would alone have been + sufficient to distract and confuse his attention. The darkness of the + night, the late excitement, the stolen kiss that still glowed upon his + lips, the remembrance of Lucy's flattering agitation in the scene with her + at Lord Mauleverer's, the yet warmer one of that unconscious embrace, + which still tingled through every nerve of his frame, all conspired with + the delicious emotion which he now experienced at her presence and her + contact to intoxicate and inflame him. Oh, those burning moments in love, + when romance has just mellowed into passion, and without losing anything + of its luxurious vagueness mingles the enthusiasm of its dreams with the + ardent desires of reality and earth! That is the exact time when love has + reached its highest point,—when all feelings, all thoughts, the + whole soul, and the whole mind, are seized and engrossed,—when every + difficulty weighed in the opposite scale seems lighter than dust,—when + to renounce the object beloved is the most deadly and lasting sacrifice,—and + when in so many breasts, where honour, conscience, virtue, are far + stronger than we can believe them ever to have been in a criminal like + Clifford, honour, conscience, virtue, have perished at once and suddenly + into ashes before that mighty and irresistible fire. + </p> + <p> + The servant, who had had previous opportunities of ascertaining the + topography of the “public” of which he spake, and who was perhaps + tolerably reconciled to his late terror in the anticipation of renewing + his intimacy with “the spirits of the past,” now directed the attention of + our travellers to a small inn just before them. Mine host had not yet + retired to repose, and it was not necessary to knock twice before the door + was opened. + </p> + <p> + A bright fire, an officious landlady, a commiserate landlord, a warm + potation, and the promise of excellent beds, all appeared to our squire to + make ample amends for the intelligence that the inn was not licensed to + let post-horses; and mine host having promised forthwith to send two stout + fellows, a rope, and a cart-horse to bring the carriage under shelter (for + the squire valued the vehicle because it was twenty years old), and + moreover to have the harness repaired, and the horses ready by an early + hour the next day, the good humour of Mr. Brandon rose into positive + hilarity. Lucy retired under the auspices of the landlady to bed; and the + squire having drunk a bowl of bishop, and discovered a thousand new + virtues in Clifford, especially that of never interrupting a good story, + clapped the captain on the shoulder, and making him promise not to leave + the inn till he had seen him again, withdrew also to the repose of his + pillow. Clifford remained below, gazing abstractedly on the fire for some + time afterwards; nor was it till the drowsy chambermaid had thrice + informed him of the prepared comforts of his bed, that he adjourned to his + chamber. Even then it seems that sleep did not visit his eyelids; for a + wealthy grazier, who lay in the room below, complained bitterly the next + morning of some person walking overhead “in all manner of strides, just + for all the world like a happarition in boots.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIII. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Viola. And dost thou love me? + Lysander.... Love thee, Viola? Do I not fly thee when my + being drinks Light from thine eyes?—that flight is all my answer! + + The Bride, Act ii. sc. 1. +</pre> + <p> + The curtain meditations of the squire had not been without the produce of + a resolve. His warm heart at once reopened to the liking he had formerly + conceived for Clifford; he longed for an opportunity to atone for his past + unkindness, and to testify his present gratitude; moreover, he felt at + once indignant at, and ashamed of, his late conduct in joining the + popular, and, as he now fully believed, the causeless prepossession + against his young friend, and before a more present and a stronger + sentiment his habitual deference for his brother's counsels faded easily + away. Coupled with these favourable feelings towards Clifford were his + sagacious suspicions, or rather certainty, of Lucy's attachment to her + handsome deliverer; and he had at least sufficient penetration to perceive + that she was not likely to love him the less for the night's adventure. To + all this was added the tender recollection of his wife's parting words; + and the tears and tell-tale agitation of Lucy in the carriage were + sufficient to his simple mind, which knew not how lightly maiden's tears + are shed and dried, to confirm the prediction of the dear deceased. Nor + were the squire's more generous and kindly feelings utterly unmixed with + selfish considerations. Proud, but not the least ambitious, he was always + more ready to confer an honour than receive one, and at heart he was + secretly glad at the notion of exchanging, as a son-in-law, the polished + and unfamiliar Mauleverer for the agreeable and social Clifford. Such in + “admired disorder,” were the thoughts which rolled through the teeming + brain of Joseph Brandon; and before he had turned on his left side, which + he always did preparatory to surrendering himself to slumber, the squire + had fully come to a determination most fatal to the schemes of the lawyer + and the hopes of the earl. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, as Lucy was knitting + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “The loose train of her amber-dropping hair” + </pre> + <p> + before the little mirror of her chamber, which even through its dimmed and + darkened glass gave back a face which might have shamed a Grecian vision + of Aurora, a gentle tap at her door announced her father. There was in his + rosy and comely countenance that expression generally characteristic of a + man pleased with himself, and persuaded that he is about to give pleasure. + </p> + <p> + “My dear child,” said the squire, fondly stroking down the luxuriance of + his Lucy's hair, and kissing her damask cheek, “I am come to have some + little conversation with you. Sit down now, and (for my part, I love to + talk at my ease; and, by the by, shut the window, my love, it is an + easterly wind) I wish that we may come to a clear and distinct + understanding. Hem!—give me your hand, my child,—I think on + these matters one can scarcely speak too precisely and to the purpose; + although I am well aware (for, for my own part, I always wish to act to + every one, to you especially, my dearest child, with the greatest + consideration) that we must go to work with as much delicacy as + conciseness. You know this Captain Clifford,—'t is a brave youth, is + it not? Well—nay, never blush so deeply; there is nothing (for in + these matters one can't have all one's wishes, one can't have everything) + to be ashamed of! Tell me now, child, dost think he is in love with thee?” + </p> + <p> + If Lucy did not immediately answer by words, her pretty lips moved as if + she could readily reply; and finally they settled into so sweet and so + assured a smile that the squire, fond as he was of “precise” information, + was in want of no fuller answer to his question. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, ay, young lady,” said he, looking at her with all a father's + affection, “I see how it is. And, come now, what do you turn away for? + Dost think, if, as I believe, though there are envious persons in the + world, as there always are when a man's handsome or clever or brave,—though, + by the way, which is a very droll thing in my eyes, they don't envy, at + least not ill-naturedly, a man for being a lord or rich, but, quite on the + contrary, rank and money seem to make them think one has all the cardinal + virtues. Humph! If, I say, this Mr. Clifford should turn out to be a + gentleman of family,—for you know that is essential, since the + Brandons have, as my brother has probably told you, been a great race many + centuries ago,—dost think, my child, that thou couldst give up (the + cat is out of the bag) this old lord, and marry a simple gentleman?” + </p> + <p> + The hand which the squire had held was now with an arch tenderness applied + to his mouth, and when he again seized it Lucy hid her glowing face in his + bosom; and it was only by a whisper, as if the very air was garrulous, + that he could draw forth (for now he insisted on a verbal reply) her happy + answer. + </p> + <p> + We are not afraid that our reader will blame us for not detailing the rest + of the interview between the father and daughter: it did not last above an + hour longer; for the squire declared that, for his own part, he hated more + words than were necessary. Mr. Brandon was the first to descend to the + breakfast, muttering as he descended the stairs, “Well now, hang me if I + am not glad that's off (for I do not like to think much of so silly a + matter) my mind. And as for my brother, I sha' n't tell him till it's all + over and settled. And if he is angry, he and the old lord may, though I + don't mean to be unbrotherly, go to the devil together!” + </p> + <p> + When the three were assembled at the breakfast-table, there could not, + perhaps, have been found anywhere a stronger contrast than that which the + radiant face of Lucy bore to the haggard and worn expression that + disfigured the handsome features of her lover. So marked was the change + that one night seemed to have wrought upon Clifford, that even the squire + was startled and alarmed at it. But Lucy, whose innocent vanity pleased + itself with accounting for the alteration, consoled herself with the hope + of soon witnessing a very different expression on the countenance of her + lover; and though she was silent, and her happiness lay quiet and deep + within her, yet in her eyes and lip there was that which seemed to + Clifford an insult to his own misery, and stung him to the heart. However, + he exerted himself to meet the conversation of the squire, and to mask as + well as he was able the evidence of the conflict which still raged within + him. + </p> + <p> + The morning was wet and gloomy; it was that drizzling and misty rain which + is so especially nutritious to the growth of blue devils, and the jolly + squire failed not to rally his young friend upon his feminine + susceptibility to the influences of the weather. Clifford replied + jestingly; and the jest, if bad, was good enough to content the railer. In + this facetious manner passed the time, till Lucy, at the request of her + father, left the room to prepare for their return home. + </p> + <p> + Drawing his chair near to Clifford's, the squire then commenced in real + and affectionate earnest his operations—these he had already planned—in + the following order: they were first, to inquire into and to learn + Clifford's rank, family, and prospects; secondly, having ascertained the + proprieties of the outer man, they were to examine the state of the inner + one; and thirdly, should our skilful inquirer find his guesses at + Clifford's affection for Lucy confirmed, they were to expel the modest + fear of a repulse, which the squire allowed was natural enough, and to + lead the object of the inquiry to a knowledge of the happiness that, Lucy + consenting, might be in store for him. While, with his wonted ingenuity, + the squire was pursuing his benevolent designs, Lucy remained in her own + room, in such meditation and such dreams as were natural to a heart so + sanguine and enthusiastic. + </p> + <p> + She had been more than half an hour alone, when the chambermaid of the + hostelry knocked at her door, and delivered a message from the squire, + begging her to come down to him in the parlour. With a heart that beat so + violently it almost seemed to wear away its very life, Lucy slowly and + with tremulous steps descended to the parlour. On opening the door she saw + Clifford standing in the recess of the window; his face was partly turned + from her, and his eyes downcast. The good old squire sat in an + elbow-chair, and a sort of puzzled and half-satisfied complacency gave + expression to his features. + </p> + <p> + “Come hither, child,” said he, clearing his throat; “Captain Clifford—ahem!—has + done you the honour to—and I dare say you will be very much + surprised—not that, for my own part, I think there is much to wonder + at in it, but such may be my partial opinion (and it is certainly very + natural in me)—to make you a declaration of love. He declares, + moreover, that he is the most miserable of men, and that he would die + sooner than have the presumption to hope. Therefore you see, my love, I + have sent for you, to give him permission to destroy himself in any way he + pleases; and I leave him to show cause why (it is a fate that sooner or + later happens to all his fellowmen) sentence of death should not be passed + against him.” Having delivered this speech with more propriety of word + than usually fell to his share, the squire rose hastily and hobbled out of + the room. + </p> + <p> + Lucy sank into the chair her father had quitted; and Clifford, approaching + towards her, said in a hoarse and low voice,— + </p> + <p> + “Your father, Miss Brandon, says rightly, that I would die rather than + lift my eyes in hope to you. I thought yesterday that I had seen you for + the last time; chance, not my own folly or presumption, has brought me + again before you; and even the few hours I have passed under the same roof + with you have made me feel as if my love, my madness, had never reached + its height till now. Oh, Lucy!” continued Clifford, in a more impassioned + tone, and, as if by a sudden and irresistible impulse, throwing himself at + her feet, “if I could hope to merit you,—if I could hope to raise + myself,—if I could—But no, no, no! I am cut off from all hope, + and forever!” + </p> + <p> + There was so deep, so bitter, so heartfelt an anguish and remorse in the + voice with which these last words were spoken, that Lucy, hurried off her + guard, and forgetting everything in wondering sympathy and compassion, + answered, extending her hand towards Clifford, who, still kneeling, seized + and covered it with kisses of fire,— + </p> + <p> + “Do not speak thus, Mr. Clifford; do not accuse yourself of what I am + sure, quite sure, you cannot deserve. Perhaps—forgive me—your + birth, your fortune, are beneath your merits, and you have penetrated into + my father's weakness on the former point; or perhaps you yourself have not + avoided all the errors into which men are hurried,—perhaps you have + been imprudent or thoughtless, perhaps you have (fashion is contagious) + played beyond your means or incurred debts: these are faults, it is true, + and to be regretted, yet surely not irreparable.” + </p> + <p> + For that instant can it be wondered that all Clifford's resolution and + self-denial deserted him, and lifting his eyes, radiant with joy and + gratitude, to the face which bent in benevolent innocence towards him, he + exclaimed,— + </p> + <p> + “No, Miss Brandon!—no, Lucy!—dear, angel Lucy! my faults are + less venial than these, but perhaps they are no less the consequence of + circumstances and contagion; perhaps it may not be too late to repair + them. Would you—you indeed deign to be my guardian, I might not + despair of being saved!” + </p> + <p> + “If,” said Lucy, blushing deeply and looking down, while she spoke quick + and eagerly, as if to avoid humbling him by her offer,—“if, Mr. + Clifford, the want of wealth has in any way occasioned you uneasiness or—or + error, do believe me—I mean us—so much your friends as not for + an instant to scruple in relieving us of some little portion of our last + night's debt to you.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear, noble girl!” said Clifford, while there writhed upon his lips one + of those smiles of powerful sarcasm that sometimes distorted his features, + and thrillingly impressed upon Lucy a resemblance to one very different in + reputation and character to her lover,—“do not attribute my + misfortunes to so petty a source; it is not money that I shall want while + I live, though I shall to my last breath remember this delicacy in you, + and compare it with certain base remembrances in my own mind. Yes! all + past thoughts and recollections will make me hereafter worship you even + more than I do now; while in your heart they will—unless Heaven + grant me one prayer—make you scorn and detest me!” + </p> + <p> + “For mercy's sake, do not speak thus!” said Lucy, gazing in indistinct + alarm upon the dark and working features of her lover. “Scorn, detest you! + Impossible! How could I, after the remembrance of last night?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay! of last night,” said Clifford, speaking through his ground teeth,—“there + is much in that remembrance to live long in both of us; but you—you—fair + angel” (and all harshness and irony vanishing at once from his voice and + countenance, yielded to a tender and deep sadness, mingled with a respect + that bordered on reverence),—“you never could have dreamed of more + than pity for one like me,—you never could have stooped from your + high and dazzling purity to know for me one such thought as that which + burns at my heart for you,—you—Yes, withdraw your hand, I am + not worthy to touch it!” And clasping his own hands before his face, he + became abruptly silent; but his emotions were but ill-concealed, and Lucy + saw the muscular frame before her heaved and convulsed by passions which + were more intense and rending because it was only for a few moments that + they conquered his self-will and struggled into vent. + </p> + <p> + If afterwards, but long afterwards, Lucy, recalling the mystery of his + words, confessed to herself that they betrayed guilt, she was then too + much affected to think of anything but her love and his emotion. She bent + down, and with a girlish and fond self-abandonment which none could have + resisted, placed both her hands on his. Clifford started, looked up, and + in the next moment he had clasped her to his heart; and while the only + tears he had shed since his career of crime fell fast and hot upon her + countenance, he kissed her forehead, her cheek, her lips in a passionate + and wild transport. His voice died within him,—he could not trust + himself to speak; only one thought, even in that seeming forgetfulness of + her and of himself, stirred and spoke at his breast,—flight. The + more he felt he loved, the more tender and the more confiding the object + of his love, the more urgent became the necessity to leave her. All other + duties had been neglected, but he loved with a real love; and love, which + taught him one duty, bore him triumphantly through its bitter ordeal. + </p> + <p> + “You will hear from me to-night,” he muttered; “believe that I am mad, + accursed, criminal, but not utterly a monster! I ask no more merciful + opinion!” He drew himself from his perilous position, and abruptly + departed. + </p> + <p> + When Clifford reached his home, he found his worthy coadjutors waiting for + him with alarm and terror on their countenances. An old feat, in which + they had signalized themselves, had long attracted the rigid attention of + the police, and certain officers had now been seen at Bath, and certain + inquiries had been set on foot, which portended no good to the safety of + the sagacious Tomlinson and the valorous Pepper. They came, humbly and + penitentially demanding pardon for their unconscious aggression of the + squire's carriage, and entreating their captain's instant advice. If + Clifford had before wavered in his disinterested determination,—if + visions of Lucy, of happiness, and reform had floated in his solitary ride + too frequently and too glowingly before his eyes,—the sight of these + men, their conversation, their danger, all sufficed to restore his + resolution. “Merciful God!” thought he, “and is it to the comrade of such + lawless villains, to a man, like them, exposed hourly to the most + ignominious of deaths, that I have for one section of a moment dreamed of + consigning the innocent and generous girl, whose trust or love is the only + crime that could deprive her of the most brilliant destiny?” + </p> + <p> + Short were Clifford's instructions to his followers, and so much do we do + mechanically, that they were delivered with his usual forethought and + precision. “You will leave the town instantly; go not, for your lives, to + London, or to rejoin any of your comrades. Ride for the Red Cave; + provisions are stored there, and, since our late alteration of the + interior, it will afford ample room to conceal your horses. On the night + of the second day from this I will join you. But be sure that you enter + the cave at night, and quit it upon no account till I come!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes!” said he, when he was alone, “I will join you again, but only to + quit you. One more offence against the law, or at least one sum wrested + from the swollen hands of the rich sufficient to equip me for a foreign + army, and I quit the country of my birth and my crimes. If I cannot + deserve Lucy Brandon, I will be somewhat less unworthy. Perhaps—why + not? I am young, my nerves are not weak, my brain is not dull,—perhaps + I may in some field of honourable adventure win a name that before my + death-bed I may not blush to acknowledge to her!” + </p> + <p> + While this resolve beat high within Clifford's breast, Lucy sadly and in + silence was continuing with the squire her short journey to Bath. The + latter was very inquisitive to know why Clifford had gone, and what he had + avowed; and Lucy, scarcely able to answer, threw everything on the + promised letter of the night. + </p> + <p> + “I am glad,” muttered the squire to her, “that he is going to write; for, + somehow or other, though I questioned him very tightly, he slipped through + my cross-examination, and bursting out at once as to his love for you, + left me as wise about himself as I was before: no doubt (for my own part I + don't see what should prevent his being a great man incog.)this letter + will explain all!” + </p> + <p> + Late that night the letter came. Lucy, fortunately for her, was alone in + her room; she opened it, and read as follows:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + CLIFFORD'S LETTER. + + I have promised to write to you, and I sit down to perform that + promise. At this moment the recollection of your goodness, your + generous consideration, is warm within me: and while I must choose + calm and common words to express what I ought to say, my heart is + alternately melted and torn by thoughts which would ask words, oh + how different! Your father has questioned me often of my parentage + and birth,—I have hitherto eluded his interrogatories. Learn now + who I am. In a wretched abode, surrounded by the inhabitants of + poverty and vice, I recall my earliest recollections. My father is + unknown to me as to every one; my mother,—to you I dare not mention + who or what she was,—she died in my infancy. Without a name, but + not without an inheritance (my inheritance was large,—it was + infamy!), I was thrown upon the world. I had received by accident + some education, and imbibed some ideas not natural to my situation; + since then I have played many parts in life. Books and men I have + not so neglected but that I have gleaned at intervals some little + knowledge from both. Hence, if I have seemed to you better than I + am, you will perceive the cause. Circumstances made me soon my own + master; they made me also one whom honest men do not love to look + upon; my deeds have been, and my character is, of a par with my + birth and my fortunes. I came, in the noble hope to raise and + redeem myself by gilding my fate with a wealthy marriage, to this + city. I saw you, whom I had once before met. I heard you were + rich. Hate me, Miss Brandon, hate me!—I resolved to make your ruin + the cause of my redemption. Happily for you, I scarcely knew you + before I loved you; that love deepened,—it caught something pure + and elevated from yourself. My resolution forsook me; even now I + could throw myself on my knees and thank God that you—you, dearest + and noblest of human beings—are not my wife. Now, is my conduct + clear to you? If not, imagine me all that is villanous, save in one + point, where you are concerned, and not a shadow of mystery will + remain. Your kind father, overrating the paltry service I rendered + you, would have consented to submit my fate to your decision. I + blush indignantly for him—for you—that any living man should have + dreamed of such profanation for Miss Brandon. Yet I myself was + carried away and intoxicated by so sudden and so soft a hope,—even + I dared to lift my eyes to you, to press you to this guilty heart, + to forget myself, and to dream that you might be mine! Can you + forgive me for this madness? And hereafter, when in your lofty and + glittering sphere of wedded happiness, can you remember my + presumption and check your scorn? Perhaps you think that by so late + a confession I have already deceived you. Alas! you know not what + it costs me now to confess! I had only one hope in life,—it was + that you might still, long after you had ceased to see me, fancy me + not utterly beneath the herd with whom you live. This burning yet + selfish vanity I tear from me, and now I go where no hope can pursue + me. No hope for myself, save one which can scarcely deserve the + name, for it is rather a rude and visionary wish than an + expectation,—it is that under another name and under different + auspices you may hear of me at some distant time; and when I apprise + you that under that name you may recognize one who loves you better + than all created things, you may feel then, at least, no cause for + shame at your lover. What will you be then? A happy wife, a + mother, the centre of a thousand joys, beloved, admired, blest when + the eye sees you and the ear hears! And this is what I ought to + hope, this is the consolation that ought to cheer me; perhaps a + little time hence it will. Not that I shall love you less, but that + I shall love you less burningly, and therefore less selfishly. I + have now written to you all that it becomes you to receive from me. + My horse waits below to bear me from this city, and forever from + your vicinity. For ever!—-ay, you are the only blessing forever + forbidden me. Wealth I may gain, a fair name, even glory I may + perhaps aspire to,—to heaven itself I may find a path; but of you + my very dreams cannot give me the shadow of a hope. I do not say, + if you could pierce my soul while I write, that you would pity me. + You may think it strange, but I would not have your pity for worlds; + I think I would even rather have your hate,—pity seems so much like + contempt. But if you knew what an effort has enabled me to tame + down my language, to curb my thoughts, to prevent me from embodying + that which now makes my brain whirl, and my hand feel as if the + living fire consumed it; if you knew what has enabled me to triumph + over the madness at my heart, and spare you what, if writ or spoken, + would seem like the ravings of insanity, you would not and you could + not despise me, though you might abhor. + + And now Heaven guard and bless you! Nothing on earth could injure + you. And even the wicked who have looked upon you learn to pray,—I + have prayed for you! +</pre> + <p> + Thus, abrupt and signatureless, ended the expected letter. Lucy came down + the next morning at her usual hour, and, except that she was very pale, + nothing in her appearance seemed to announce past grief or emotion. The + squire asked her if she had received the promised letter. She answered, in + a clear though faint voice, that she had,—that Mr. Clifford had + confessed himself of too low an origin to hope for marriage with Mr. + Brandon's family; that she trusted the squire would keep his secret; and + that the subject might never again be alluded to by either. If in this + speech there was something alien to Lucy's ingenuous character, and + painful to her mind, she felt it as it were a duty to her former lover not + to betray the whole of that confession so bitterly wrung from him. + Perhaps, too, there was in that letter a charm which seemed to her too + sacred to be revealed to any one; and mysteries were not excluded even + from a love so ill-placed and seemingly so transitory as hers. + </p> + <p> + Lucy's answer touched the squire in his weak point. “A man of decidedly + low origin,” he confessed, “was utterly out of the question; nevertheless, + the young man showed a great deal of candour in his disclosure.” He + readily promised never to broach a subject necessarily so unpleasant; and + though he sighed as he finished his speech, yet the extreme quiet of + Lucy's manner reassured him; and when he perceived that she resumed, + though languidly, her wonted avocations, he felt but little doubt of her + soon overcoming the remembrance of what he hoped was but a girlish and + fleeting fancy. He yielded, with avidity, to her proposal to return to + Warlock; and in the same week as that in which Lucy had received her + lover's mysterious letter, the father and daughter commenced their journey + home. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIV. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Butler. What are these, sir? + + Yeoman. And of what nature, to what use? + + Latroc. Imagine. + The Tragedy of Rollo. + + Quickly. He's in Arthur's bosom, if ever man went + to Arthur's bosom. + Henry V. +</pre> + <p> + The stream of our narrative now conducts us back to William Brandon. The + law-promotions previously intended were completed; and to the surprise of + the public, the envied barrister, undergoing the degradation of + knighthood, had, at the time we return to him, just changed his toilsome + occupations for the serene dignity of the bench. Whatever regret this wily + and aspiring schemer might otherwise have felt at an elevation + considerably less distinguished than he might reasonably have expected, + was entirely removed by the hopes afforded to him of a speedy translation + to a more brilliant office: it was whispered among those not unlikely to + foresee such events, that the interest of the government required his + talents in the house of peers. Just at this moment, too, the fell disease, + whose ravages Brandon endeavoured, as jealously as possible, to hide from + the public, had appeared suddenly to yield to the skill of a new + physician; and by the administration of medicines which a man less stern + or resolute might have trembled to adopt (so powerful and for the most + part deadly was their nature), he passed from a state of almost + insufferable torture to an elysium of tranquillity and ease. Perhaps, + however, the medicines which altered also decayed his constitution; and it + was observable that in two cases where the physician had attained a like + success by the same means, the patients had died suddenly, exactly at the + time when their cure seemed to be finally completed. However, Sir William + Brandon appeared very little anticipative of danger. His manner became + more cheerful and even than it had ever been before; there was a certain + lightness in his gait, a certain exhilaration in his voice and eye, which + seemed the tokens of one from whom a heavy burden had been suddenly + raised, and who was no longer prevented from the eagerness of hope by the + engrossing claims of a bodily pain. He had always been bland in society, + but now his courtesy breathed less of artifice,—it took a more + hearty tone. Another alteration was discernible in him, and that was + precisely the reverse of what might have been expected. He became more + thrifty, more attentive to the expenses of life than he had been. Though a + despiser of show and ostentation, and far too hard to be luxurious, he was + too scientific an architect of the weaknesses of others not to have + maintained during his public career an opulent appearance and a hospitable + table. The profession he had adopted requires, perhaps, less of externals + to aid it than any other; still Brandon had affected to preserve + parliamentary as well as legal importance; and though his house was + situated in a quarter entirely professional, he had been accustomed to + assemble around his hospitable board all who were eminent, in his + political party, for rank or for talent. Now, however, when hospitality + and a certain largeness of expenses better became his station, he grew + closer and more exact in his economy. Brandon never could have degenerated + into a miser; money, to one so habitually wise as he was, could never have + passed from means into an object; but he had evidently, for some cause or + another, formed the resolution to save. Some said it was the result of + returning health, and the hope of a prolonged life, to which many objects + for which wealth is desirable might occur. But when it was accidentally + ascertained that Brandon had been making several inquiries respecting a + large estate in the neighbourhood of Warlock, formerly in the possession + of his family, the gossips (for Brandon was a man to be gossiped about) + were no longer in want of a motive, false or real, for the judge's thrift. + </p> + <p> + It was shortly after his elevation to the bench, and ere these signs of + change had become noticeable, that the same strange ragamuffin whom we + have mentioned before, as introduced by Mr. Swoppem to a private + conference with Brandon, was admitted to the judge's presence. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Brandon, impatiently, the moment the door was closed, “your + news?” + </p> + <p> + “Vy, your 'onor,” said the man, bashfully, twirling a thing that stood + proxy for a hat, “I thinks as 'ow I shall be hable to satisfy your + vorship's 'onor.'!” Then, approaching the judge and assuming an important + air, he whispered, “'T is as 'ow I thought!” + </p> + <p> + “My God!” cried Brandon, with vehemence. “And he is alive,—and + where?” + </p> + <p> + “I believes,” answered the seemly confidant of Sir William Brandon, “that + he be's alive; and if he be's alive, may I flash my ivories in a glass + case, if I does not ferret him out; but as to saying vhere he be at this + nick o' the moment, smash me if I can!” + </p> + <p> + “Is he in this country,” said Brandon; “or do you believe that he has gone + abroad?” + </p> + <p> + “Vy, much of one and not a little of the other!” said the euphonious + confidant. + </p> + <p> + “How! speak plain, man; what do you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “Vy, I means, your 'oner, that I can't say vhere he is.” + </p> + <p> + “And this,” said Brandon, with a muttered oath,—“this is your + boasted news, is it? Dog! damned, damned dog! if you trifle with me or + play me false, I will hang you,—by the living God, I will!” + </p> + <p> + The man shrank back involuntarily from Brandon's vindictive forehead and + kindled eyes; but with the cunning peculiar to low vice, answered, though + in a humbler tone,— + </p> + <p> + “And vet good vill that do your 'oner? If so be as how you scrags I, will + that put your vorship in the vay of finding he?” + </p> + <p> + Never was there an obstacle in grammar through which a sturdy truth could + not break; and Brandon, after a moody pause, said in a milder voice,— + </p> + <p> + “I did not mean to frighten you! Never mind what I said; but you can + surely guess whereabouts he is, or what means of life he pursues. + Perhaps,”—and a momentary paleness crossed Brandon's swarthy visage,—“perhaps + he may have been driven into dishonesty in order to maintain himself!” + </p> + <p> + The informant replied with great naivete that such a thing was not + impossible! And Brandon then entered into a series of seemingly careless + but artful cross-questionings, which either the ignorance or the craft of + the man enabled him to baffle. After some time Brandon, disappointed and + dissatisfied, gave up his professional task; and bestowing on the man many + sagacious and minute instructions as well as a very liberal donation, he + was forced to dismiss his mysterious visitor, and to content himself with + an assured assertion that if the object of his inquiries should not + already be gone to the devil, the strange gentleman employed to discover + him would certainly, sooner or later, bring him to the judge. + </p> + <p> + This assertion, and the interview preceding it, certainly inspired Sir + William Brandon with a feeling like complacency, although it was mingled + with a considerable alloy. + </p> + <p> + “I do not,” thought he, concluding his meditations when he was left alone,—“I + do not see what else I can do! Since it appears that the boy had not even + a name when he set out alone from his wretched abode, I fear that an + advertisement would have but little chance of even designating, much less + of finding him, after so long an absence. Besides, it might make me the + prey to impostors; and in all probability he has either left the country, + or adopted some mode of living which would prevent his daring to disclose + himself!” This thought plunged the soliloquist into a gloomy abstraction, + which lasted several minutes, and from which he started, muttering aloud,— + </p> + <p> + “Yes, yes! I dare to believe, to hope it. Now for the minister and the + peerage!” And from that time the root of Sir William Brandon's ambition + spread with a firmer and more extended grasp over his mind. + </p> + <p> + We grieve very much that the course of our story should now oblige us to + record an event which we would willingly have spared ourselves the pain of + narrating. The good old Squire of Warlock Manor-house had scarcely reached + his home on his return from Bath, before William Brandon received the + following letter from his brother's gray-headed butler:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + HONNURED SUR,—I send this with all speede, thof with a hevy bart, + to axquainte you with the sudden (and it is feered by his loving + friends and well-wishers, which latter, to be sur, is all as knows + him) dangeros ilness of the Squire. He was seezed, poor deer + gentleman (for God never made a better, no offence to your Honnur), + the moment he set footing in his Own Hall, and what has hung rond me + like a millston ever sin, is that instead of his saying, “How do you + do, Sampson?” as was his wont, whenever he returned from forren + parts, sich as Bath, Lunnun, and the like, he said, “God bless you, + Sampson!” which makes me think sumhow that it will be his last + wurds; for he has never spoke sin, for all Miss Lucy be by his + bedside continual. She, poor deer, don't take on at all, in regard + of crying and such woman's wurk, but looks nevertheless, for all the + wurld, just like a copse. I sends Tom the postilion with this + hexpress, nowing he is a good hand at a gallop, having, not sixteen + years ago, beat some o' the best on 'un at a raceng. Hoping as yer + Honnur will lose no time in coming to this “house of mourning,” I + remane, with all respect, + Your Honnur's humble servant to command, + JOHN SAMPSON. + + [The reader, who has doubtless noticed how invariably servants of + long standing acquire a certain tone from that of their master, may + observe that honest John Sampson had caught from the squire the + habit of parenthetical composition.] +</pre> + <p> + Sir William Brandon did not give himself time to re-read this letter, in + order to make it more intelligible, before he wrote to one of his + professional compeers, requesting him to fill his place during his + unavoidable absence, on the melancholy occasion of his brother's expected + death; and having so done, he immediately set off for Warlock. + Inexplicable even to himself was that feeling, so nearly approaching to + real sorrow, which the worldly lawyer felt at the prospect of losing his + guileless and unspeculating brother. Whether it be that turbulent and + ambitious minds, in choosing for their wavering affections the very + opposites of themselves, feel (on losing the fellowship of those calm, + fair characters that have never crossed their rugged path) as if they + lost, in losing them, a kind of haven for their own restless thoughts and + tempest-worn designs!—be this as it may, certain it is that when + William Brandon arrived at his brother's door, and was informed by the old + butler, who for the first time was slow to greet him, that the squire had + just breathed his last, his austere nature forsook him at once, and he + felt the shock with a severity perhaps still keener than that which a more + genial and affectionate heart would have experienced. + </p> + <p> + As soon as he had recovered his self-possession, Sir William made question + of his niece; and finding that after an unrelaxing watch during the whole + of the squire's brief illness, nature had failed her at his death, and she + had been borne senseless from his chamber to her own, Brandon walked with + a step far different from his usual stately gait to the room where his + brother lay. It was one of the oldest apartments in the house, and much of + the ancient splendour that belonged to the mansion ere its size had been + reduced, with the fortunes of its successive owners, still distinguished + the chamber. The huge mantelpiece ascending to the carved ceiling in + grotesque pilasters, and scroll-work of the blackest oak, with the + quartered arms of Brandon and Saville escutcheoned in the centre; the + panelled walls of the same dark wainscot; the armorie of ebony; the + high-backed chairs, with their tapestried seats; the lofty bed, with its + hearse-like plumes and draperies of a crimson damask that seemed, so massy + was the substance and so prominent the flowers, as if it were rather a + carving than a silk,—all conspired with the size of the room to give + it a feudal solemnity, not perhaps suited to the rest of the house, but + well calculated to strike a gloomy awe into the breast of the worldly and + proud man who now entered the death-chamber of his brother. + </p> + <p> + Silently William Brandon motioned away the attendants, and silently he + seated himself by the bed, and looked long and wistfully upon the calm and + placid face of the deceased. It is difficult to guess at what passed + within him during the space of time in which he remained alone in that + room. The apartment itself he could not at another period have tenanted + without secret emotion. It was that in which, as a boy, he had himself + been accustomed to sleep; and, even then a schemer and an aspirant, the + very sight of the room sufficed to call back all the hopes and visions, + the restless projects and the feverish desires, which had now brought him + to the envied state of an acknowledged celebrity and a shattered frame. + There must have been something awful in the combination of those active + remembrances with the cause which had led him to that apartment; and there + was a homily in the serene countenance of the dead, which preached more + effectually to the heart of the living than William Brandon would ever + have cared to own. He had been more than an hour in the room, and the + evening had already begun to cast deep shadows through the small panes of + the half-closed window, when Brandon was startled by a slight noise. He + looked up, and beheld Lucy opposite to him. She did not see him; but + throwing herself upon the bed, she took the cold hand of the deceased, and + after a long silence burst into a passion of tears. + </p> + <p> + “My father!” she sobbed,—“my kind, good father! who will love me + now?” + </p> + <p> + “I!” said Brandon, deeply affected; and passing round the bed, he took his + niece in his arms: “I will be your father, Lucy, and you—the last of + our race—shall be to me as a daughter!” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0025" id="link2HCH0025"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXV. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Falsehood in him was not the useless lie + Of boasting pride or laughing vanity: + It was the gainful, the persuading art, etc. + + CRABBE. + + On with the horses—off to Canterbury, + Tramp, tramp o'er pebble, and splash, splash thro' puddle; + Hurrah! how swiftly speeds the post so merry! + ............... + “Here laws are all inviolate: none lay + Traps for the traveller; every highway's clear; + Here—” he was interrupted by a knife, + With “D—-your eyes! your money or your life!” + + Don Juan. +</pre> + <p> + Misfortunes are like the creations of Cadmus,—they destroy one + another! Roused from the torpor of mind occasioned by the loss of her + lover at the sudden illness of the squire, Lucy had no thought for + herself, no thought for any one, for anything but her father, till long + after the earth had closed over his remains. The very activity of the + latter grief was less dangerous than the quiet of the former; and when the + first keenness of sorrow passed away, and her mind gradually and + mechanically returned to the remembrance of Clifford, it was with an + intensity less strong, and less fatal to her health and happiness than + before. She thought it unnatural and criminal to allow anything else to + grieve her, while she had so sacred a grief as that of her loss; and her + mind, once aroused into resistance to passion, betrayed a native strength + little to have been expected from her apparent character. Sir William + Brandon lost no time in returning to town after the burial of his brother. + He insisted upon taking his niece with him; and, though with real + reluctance, she yielded to his wishes, and accompanied him. By the + squire's will, indeed, Sir William was appointed guardian to Lucy, and she + yet wanted more than a year of her majority. Brandon, with a delicacy very + uncommon to him where women (for he was a confirmed woman-hater) were + concerned, provided everything that he thought could in any way conduce to + her comfort. He ordered it to be understood in his establishment that she + was its mistress. He arranged and furnished, according to what he imagined + to be her taste, a suite of apartments for her sole accommodation; a + separate carriage and servants were appropriated to her use; and he + sought, by perpetual presents of books or flowers or music, to occupy her + thoughts, and atone for the solitude to which his professional duties + obliged him so constantly to consign her. These attentions, which showed + this strange man in a new light, seemed to bring out many little latent + amiabilities, which were usually imbedded in the callosities of his rocky + nature; and, even despite her causes for grief and the deep melancholy + which consumed her, Lucy was touched with gratitude at kindness doubly + soothing in one who, however urbane and polished, was by no means addicted + to the little attentions that are considered so gratifying by women, and + yet for which they so often despise, while they like, him who affords + them. There was much in Brandon that wound itself insensibly around the + heart. To one more experienced than Lucy, this involuntary attraction + might not have been incompatible with suspicion, and could scarcely have + been associated with esteem; and yet for all who knew him intimately, even + for the penetrating and selfish Mauleverer, the attraction existed. + Unprincipled, crafty, hypocritical, even base when it suited his purpose; + secretly sneering at the dupes he made, and knowing no code save that of + interest and ambition; viewing men only as machines, and opinions only as + ladders,—there was yet a tone of powerful feeling sometimes elicited + from a heart that could at the same moment have sacrificed a whole people + to the pettiest personal object: and sometimes with Lucy the eloquence or + irony of his conversation deepened into a melancholy, a half-suppressed + gentleness of sentiment, that accorded with the state of her own mind and + interested her kind feelings powerfully in his. It was these peculiarities + in his converse which made Lucy love to hear him; and she gradually + learned to anticipate with a gloomy pleasure the hour in which, after the + occupations of the day, he was accustomed to join her. + </p> + <p> + “You look unwell, uncle, to-night,” she said, when one evening he entered + the room with looks more fatigued than usual; and rising, she leaned + tenderly over him, and kissed his forehead. + </p> + <p> + “Ay!” said Brandon, utterly unwon by, and even unheeding, the caress, “our + way of life soon passes into the sear and yellow leaf; and when Macbeth + grieved that he might not look to have that which should accompany old + age, he had grown doting, and grieved for what was worthless.” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, uncle, 'honour, love, obedience, troops of friends,' these surely + were worth the sighing for?” + </p> + <p> + “Pooh! not worth a single sigh! The foolish wishes we form in youth have + something noble and something bodily in them; but those of age are utter + shadows, and the shadows of pygmies! Why, what is honour, after all? What + is this good name among men? Only a sort of heathenish idol, set up to be + adored by one set of fools and scorned by another. Do you not observe, + Lucy, that the man you hear most praised by the party you meet to-day is + most abused by that which you meet to-morrow? Public men are only praised + by their party; and their party, sweet Lucy, are such base minions that it + moves one's spleen to think one is so little as to be useful to them. Thus + a good name is only the good name of a sect, and the members of that sect + are only marvellous proper knaves.” + </p> + <p> + “But posterity does justice to those who really deserve fame.” + </p> + <p> + “Posterity! Can you believe that a man who knows what life is cares for + the penny whistles of grown children after his death? Posterity, Lucy,—no! + Posterity is but the same perpetuity of fools and rascals; and even were + justice desirable at their hands, they could not deal it. Do men agree + whether Charles Stuart was a liar or a martyr? For how many ages have we + believed Nero a monster! A writer now asks, as if demonstrating a problem, + what real historian could doubt that Nero was a paragon? The patriarchs of + Scripture have been declared by modern philosophy to be a series of + astronomical hieroglyphs; and, with greater show of truth, we are assured + that the patriot Tell never existed! Posterity! the word has gulled men + enough without my adding to the number. I, who loathe the living, can + scarcely venerate the unborn. Lucy, believe me that no man can mix largely + with men in political life, and not despise everything that in youth he + adored! Age leaves us only one feeling,—contempt!” + </p> + <p> + “Are you belied, then?” said Lucy, pointing to a newspaper, the organ of + the party opposed to Brandon: “are you belied when you are here called + 'ambitious'? When they call you 'selfish' and 'grasping,' I know they + wrong you; but I confess that I have thought you ambitious; yet can he who + despises men desire their good opinion?” + </p> + <p> + “Their good opinion!” repeated Brandon, mockingly: “do we want the bray of + the asses we ride? No!” he resumed, after a pause. “It is power, not + honour; it is the hope of elevating oneself in every respect, in the world + without as well as in the world of one's own mind: it is this hope which + makes me labour where I might rest, and will continue the labour to my + grave. Lucy,” continued Brandon, fixing his keen eyes on his niece, “have + you no ambition,—have power and pomp and place no charm for your + mind?” + </p> + <p> + “None!” said Lucy, quietly and simply. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed! yet there are times when I have thought I recognized my blood in + your veins. You are sprung from a once noble, but a fallen race. Are you + ever susceptible to the weakness of ancestral pride?” + </p> + <p> + “You say,” answered Lucy, “that we should care not for those who live + after us; much less, I imagine, should we care for those who have lived + ages before!” + </p> + <p> + “Prettily answered,” said Brandon, smiling. “I will tell you at one time + or another what effect that weakness you despise already once had, long + after your age, upon me. You are early wise on some points; profit by my + experience, and be so on all.” + </p> + <p> + “That is to say, in despising all men and all things!” said Lucy, also + smiling. + </p> + <p> + “Well, never mind my creed,—you may be wise after your own; but + trust one, dearest Lucy, who loves you purely and disinterestedly, and who + has weighed with scales balanced to a hair all the advantages to be + gleaned from an earth in which I verily think the harvest was gathered + before we were put into it,—trust me, Lucy, and never think love, + that maiden's dream, so valuable as rank and power: pause well before you + yield to the former; accept the latter the moment they are offered you. + Love puts you at the feet of another, and that other a tyrant; rank puts + others at your feet, and all those thus subjected are your slaves!” + </p> + <p> + Lucy moved her chair so that the new position concealed her face, and did + not answer; and Brandon, in an altered tone, continued,— + </p> + <p> + “Would you think, Lucy, that I once was fool enough to imagine that love + was a blessing, and to be eagerly sought for? I gave up my hopes, my + chances of wealth, of distinction,—all that had burned from the + years of boyhood into my very heart. I chose poverty, obscurity, + humiliation; but I chose also love. What was my reward? Lucy Brandon, I + was deceived,—deceived!” + </p> + <p> + Brandon paused; and Lucy took his hand affectionately, but did not break + the silence. Brandon resumed:— + </p> + <p> + “Yes, I was deceived! But I in my turn had a revenge, and a fitting + revenge; for it was not the revenge of hatred, but” (and the speaker + laughed sardonically) “of contempt. Enough of this, Lucy! What I wished to + say to you is this,—grown men and women know more of the truth of + things than ye young persons think for. Love is a mere bauble, and no + human being ever exchanged for it one solid advantage without repentance. + Believe this; and if rank ever puts itself under those pretty feet, be + sure not to spurn the footstool.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, with a slight laugh, Brandon lighted his chamber candle, and + left the room for the night. + </p> + <p> + As soon as the lawyer reached his own apartment, he indited to Lord + Mauleverer the following epistle: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Why, dear Mauleverer, do you not come to town? I want you, your + party wants you; perhaps the K—g wants you; and certainly, if you + are serious about my niece, the care of your own love-suit should + induce you yourself to want to come hither. I have paved the way + for you; and I think, with a little management, you may anticipate a + speedy success. But Lucy is a strange girl; and, perhaps, after + all, though you ought to be on the spot, you had better leave her as + much as possible in my hands. I know human nature, Mauleverer, and + that knowledge is the engine by which I will work your triumph. As + for the young lover, I am not quite sure whether it be not better + for our sake that Lucy should have experienced a disappointment on + that score; for when a woman has once loved, and the love is utterly + hopeless, she puts all vague ideas of other lovers altogether out of + her head; she becomes contented with a husband whom she can esteem! + Sweet canter! But you, Mauleverer, want Lucy to love you! And so + she will—after you have married her! She will love you partly from + the advantages she derives from you, partly from familiarity (to say + nothing of your good qualities). For my part, I think domesticity + goes so far that I believe a woman always inclined to be + affectionate to a man whom she has once seen in his nightcap. + However, you should come to town; my poor brother's recent death + allows us to see no one,—the coast will be clear from rivals; grief + has softened my niece's heart; in a word, you could not have a + better opportunity. Come! + + “By the way, you say one of the reasons which made you think ill of + this Captain Clifford was your impression that in the figure of one + of his comrades you recognized something that appeared to you to + resemble one of the fellows who robbed you a few months ago. I + understand that at this moment the police are in active pursuit of + three most accomplished robbers; nor should I be at all surprised if + in this very Clifford were to be found the leader of the gang, + namely, the notorious Lovett. I hear that the said leader is a + clever and a handsome fellow, of a gentlemanlike address, and that + his general associates are two men of the exact stamp of the + worthies you have so amusingly described to me. I heard this + yesterday from Nabbem, the police-officer with whom I once scraped + acquaintance on a trial; and in my grudge against your rival, I + hinted at my suspicion that he, Captain Clifford, might not + impossibly prove this Rinaldo Rinaldini of the roads. Nabbem caught + at my hint at once; so that, if it be founded on a true guess, I may + flatter my conscience as well as my friendship by the hope that I + have had some hand in hanging this Adonis of my niece's. Whether my + guess be true or not, Nabbem says he is sure of this Lovett; for one + of his gang has promised to betray him. Hang these aspiring dogs! + I thought treachery was confined to politics; and that thought makes + me turn to public matters, in which all people are turning with the + most edifying celerity....” + </pre> + <p> + Sir William Brandon's epistle found Mauleverer in a fitting mood for Lucy + and for London. Our worthy peer had been not a little chagrined by Lucy's + sudden departure from Bath; and while in doubt whether or not to follow + her, the papers had informed him of the squire's death. Mauleverer, being + then fully aware of the impossibility of immediately urging his suit, + endeavoured, like the true philosopher he was, to reconcile himself to his + hope deferred. Few people were more easily susceptible of consolation than + Lord Mauleverer. He found an agreeable lady, of a face more unfaded than + her reputation, to whom he intrusted the care of relieving his leisure + moments from ennui; and being a lively woman, the confidante discharged + the trust with great satisfaction to Lord Mauleverer, for the space of a + fortnight, so that he naturally began to feel his love for Lucy gradually + wearing away, by absence and other ties; but just as the triumph of time + over passion was growing decisive, the lady left Bath in company with a + tall guardsman, and Mauleverer received Brandon's letter. These two events + recalled our excellent lover to a sense of his allegiance; and there being + now at Bath no particular attraction to counterbalance the ardour of his + affection, Lord Mauleverer ordered the horses to his carriage, and + attended only by his valet, set out for London. + </p> + <p> + Nothing, perhaps, could convey a better portrait of the world's spoiled + darling than a sight of Lord Mauleverer's thin, fastidious features, + peering forth through the closed window of his luxurious + travelling-chariot; the rest of the outer man being carefully enveloped in + furs, half-a-dozen novels strewing the seat of the carriage, and a lean + French dog, exceedingly like its master, sniffing in vain for the fresh + air, which, to the imagination of Mauleverer, was peopled with all sorts + of asthmas and catarrhs! Mauleverer got out of his carriage at Salisbury, + to stretch his limbs, and to amuse himself with a cutlet. Our nobleman was + well known on the roads; and as nobody could be more affable, he was + equally popular. The officious landlord bustled into the room, to wait + himself upon his lordship and to tell all the news of the place. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Mr. Cheerly,” said Mauleverer, bestowing a penetrating glance on + his cutlet, “the bad times, I see, have not ruined your cook.” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, my lord, your lordship is very good, and the times, indeed, are + very bad,—very bad indeed. Is there enough gravy? Perhaps your + lordship will try the pickled onions?” + </p> + <p> + “The what? Onions!—oh! ah! nothing can be better; but I never touch + them. So, are the roads good?” + </p> + <p> + “Your lordship has, I hope, found them good to Salisbury?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! I believe so. Oh! to be sure, excellent to Salisbury. But how are + they to London? We have had wet weather lately, I think!” + </p> + <p> + “No, my lord. Here the weather has been dry as a bone.” + </p> + <p> + “Or a cutlet!” muttered Mauleverer; and the host continued,— + </p> + <p> + “As for the roads themselves, my lord, so far as the roads are concerned, + they are pretty good, my lord; but I can't say as how there is not + something about them that might be mended.” + </p> + <p> + “By no means improbable! You mean the inns and the turnpikes?” rejoined + Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + “Your lordship is pleased to be facetious; no! I meant something worse + than them.” + </p> + <p> + “What! the cooks?” + </p> + <p> + “No, my lord, the highwaymen!” + </p> + <p> + “The highwaymen! indeed?” said Mauleverer, anxiously; for he had with him + a case of diamonds, which at that time were on grand occasions often the + ornaments of a gentleman's dress, in the shape of buttons, buckles, etc. + He had also a tolerably large sum of ready money about him,—a + blessing he had lately begun to find very rare. “By the way, the rascals + robbed me before on this very road. My pistols shall be loaded this time. + Mr. Cheerly, you had better order the horses; one may as well escape the + nightfall.” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly, my lord, certainly.—Jem, the horses immediately!—Your + lordship will have another cutlet?” + </p> + <p> + “Not a morsel!” + </p> + <p> + “A tart?” + </p> + <p> + “A dev—! not for the world!” + </p> + <p> + “Bring the cheese, John!” + </p> + <p> + “Much obliged to you, Mr. Cheerly, but I have dined; and if I have not + done justice to your good cheer, thank yourself and the highwaymen. Where + do these highwaymen attack one?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, my lord, the neighbourhood of Reading is, I believe, the worst part; + but they are very troublesome all the way to Salthill.” + </p> + <p> + “Damnation! the very neighbourhood in which the knaves robbed me before! + You may well call them troublesome! Why the deuce don't the police clear + the country of such a movable species of trouble?” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, my lord, I don't know; but they say as how Captain Lovett, the + famous robber, be one of the set; and nobody can catch him, I fear!” + </p> + <p> + “Because, I suppose, the dog has the sense to bribe as well as bully. What + is the general number of these ruffians?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, my lord, sometimes one, sometimes two, but seldom more than three.” + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer drew himself up. “My dear diamonds and my pretty purse!” + thought he; “I may save you yet!” + </p> + <p> + “Have you been long plagued with the fellows?” he asked, after a pause, as + he was paying his bill. + </p> + <p> + “Why, my lord, we have and we have not. I fancy as how they have a sort of + a haunt near Reading, for sometimes they are intolerable just about there, + and sometimes they are quiet for months together! For instance, my lord, + we thought them all gone some time ago; but lately they have regularly + stopped every one, though I hear as how they have cleared no great booty + as yet.” + </p> + <p> + Here the waiter announced the horses, and Mauleverer slowly re-entered his + carriage, among the bows and smiles of the charmed spirits of the + hostelry. + </p> + <p> + During the daylight Mauleverer, who was naturally of a gallant and + fearless temper, thought no more of the highwaymen,—a species of + danger so common at that time that men almost considered it disgraceful to + suffer the dread of it to be a cause of delay on the road. Travellers + seldom deemed it best to lose time in order to save money; and they + carried with them a stout heart and a brace of pistols, instead of + sleeping all night on the road. Mauleverer, rather a preux chevalier, was + precisely of this order of wayfarers; and a night at an inn, when it was + possible to avoid it, was to him, as to most rich Englishmen, a tedious + torture zealously to be shunned. It never, therefore, entered into the + head of our excellent nobleman, despite his experience, that his diamonds + and his purse might be saved from all danger if he would consent to + deposit them, with his own person, at some place of hospitable reception; + nor, indeed, was it till he was within a stage of Reading, and the + twilight had entirely closed in, that he troubled his head much on the + matter. But while the horses were putting to, he summoned the postboys to + him; and after regarding their countenances with the eye of a man + accustomed to read physiognomies, he thus eloquently addressed them,— + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, I am informed that there is some danger of being robbed + between this town and Salthill. Now, I beg to inform you that I think it + next to impossible for four horses, properly directed, to be stopped by + less than four men. To that number I shall probably yield; to a less + number I shall most assuredly give nothing but bullets. You understand + me?” + </p> + <p> + The post-boys grinned, touched their hats; and Mauleverer slowly + continued,— + </p> + <p> + “If, therefore,—mark me!—one, two, or three men stop your + horses, and I find that the use of your whips and spurs are ineffectual in + releasing the animals from the hold of the robbers, I intend with these + pistols—you observe them!—-to shoot at the gentlemen who + detain you; but as, though I am generally a dead shot, my eyesight wavers + a little in the dark, I think it very possible that I may have the + misfortune to shoot you, gentlemen, instead of the robbers! You see the + rascals will be close by you, sufficiently so to put you in jeopardy, + unless indeed you knock them down with the but-end of your whips. I merely + mention this, that you may be prepared. Should such a mistake occur, you + need not be uneasy beforehand, for I will take every possible care of your + widows; should it not, and should we reach Salthill in safety, I intend to + testify my sense of the excellence of your driving by a present of ten + guineas apiece! Gentlemen, I have done with you. I give you my honour that + I am serious in what I have said to you. Do me the favour to mount.” + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer then called his favourite servant, who sat in the dickey in + front (rumble-tumbles not being then in use). “Smoothson,” said he, “the + last time we were attacked on this very road, you behaved damnably. See + that you do better this time, or it may be the worse for you. You have + pistols to-night about you, eh? Well, that's right! And you are sure + they're loaded? Very well! Now, then, if we are stopped, don't lose a + moment. Jump down, and fire one of your pistols at the first robber. Keep + the other for a sure aim. One shot is to intimidate, the second to slay. + You comprehend? My pistols are in excellent order, I suppose. Lend me the + ramrod. So, so! No trick this time!” + </p> + <p> + “They would kill a fly, my lord, provided your lordship fired straight + upon it.” + </p> + <p> + “I do not doubt you,” said Mauleverer; “light the lanterns, and tell the + postboys to drive on.” + </p> + <p> + It was a frosty and tolerably clear night. The dusk of the twilight had + melted away beneath the moon which had just risen, and the hoary rime + glittered from the bushes and the sward, breaking into a thousand diamonds + as it caught the rays of the stars. On went the horses briskly, their + breath steaming against the fresh air, and their hoofs sounding cheerily + on the hard ground. The rapid motion of the carriage, the bracing coolness + of the night, and the excitement occasioned by anxiety and the forethought + of danger, all conspired to stir the languid blood of Lord Mauleverer into + a vigorous and exhilarated sensation, natural in youth to his character, + but utterly contrary to the nature he had imbibed from the customs of his + manhood. + </p> + <p> + He felt his pistols, and his hands trembled a little as he did so,—not + the least from fear, but from that restlessness and eagerness peculiar to + nervous persons placed in a new situation. + </p> + <p> + “In this country,” said he to himself, “I have been only once robbed in + the course of my life. It was then a little my fault; for before I took to + my pistols, I should have been certain they were loaded. To-night I shall + be sure to avoid a similar blunder; and my pistols have an eloquence in + their barrels which is exceedingly moving. Humph, another milestone! These + fellows drive well; but we are entering a pretty-looking spot for + Messieurs the disciples of Robin Hood!” + </p> + <p> + It was, indeed, a picturesque spot by which the carriage was now rapidly + whirling. A few miles from Maidenhead, on the Henley Road, our readers + will probably remember a small tract of forest-like land, lying on either + side of the road. To the left the green waste bears away among the trees + and bushes; and one skilled in the country may pass from that spot, + through a landscape as little tenanted as green Sherwood was formerly, + into the chains of wild common and deep beech-woods which border a certain + portion of Oxfordshire, and contrast so beautifully the general + characteristics of that county. + </p> + <p> + At the time we speak of, the country was even far wilder than it is now; + and just on that point where the Henley and the Reading roads unite was a + spot (communicating then with the waste land we have described), than + which, perhaps, few places could be more adapted to the purposes of such + true men as have recourse to the primary law of nature. Certain it was + that at this part of the road Mauleverer looked more anxiously from his + window than he had hitherto done, and apparently the increased earnestness + of his survey was not altogether without meeting its reward. + </p> + <p> + About a hundred yards to the left, three dark objects were just + discernible in the shade; a moment more, and the objects emerging grew + into the forms of three men, well mounted, and riding at a brisk trot. + </p> + <p> + “Only three!” thought Mauleverer, “that is well;” and leaning from the + front window with a pistol in either hand, Mauleverer cried out to the + postboys in a stern tone, “Drive on, and recollect what I told you!—Remember!” + he added to his servant. The postboys scarcely looked round; but their + spurs were buried in their horses, and the animals flew on like lightning. + </p> + <p> + The three strangers made a halt, as if in conference; their decision was + prompt. Two wheeled round from their comrade, and darted at full gallop by + the carriage. Mauleverer's pistol was already protruded from the front + window, when to his astonishment, and to the utter baffling of his + ingenious admonition to his drivers, he beheld the two postboys knocked + from their horses one after the other with a celerity that scarcely + allowed him an exclamation; and before he had recovered his + self-possession, the horses taking fright (and their fright being + skilfully taken advantage of by the highwaymen), the carriage was fairly + whirled into a ditch on the right side of the road, and upset. Meanwhile + Smoothson had leaped from his station in the front; and having fired, + though without effect, at the third robber, who approached menacingly + towards him, he gained the time to open the carriage door and extricate + his master. + </p> + <p> + The moment Mauleverer found himself on terra firma, he prepared his + courage for offensive measures; and he and Smoothson, standing side by + side in front of the unfortunate vehicle, presented no unformidable aspect + to the enemy. The two robbers who had so decisively rid themselves of the + postboys acted with no less determination towards the horses. One of them + dismounted, cut the traces, and suffered the plunging quadrupeds to go + whither they listed. This measure was not, however, allowed to be taken + with impunity; a ball from Mauleverer's pistol passed through the hat of + the highwayman with an aim so slightly erring that it whizzed among the + locks of the astounded hero with a sound that sent a terror to his heart, + no less from a love of his head than from anxiety for his hair. The shock + staggered him for a moment; and a second shot from the hands of Mauleverer + would have probably finished his earthly career, had not the third robber, + who had hitherto remained almost inactive, thrown himself from his horse, + which, tutored to such docility, remained perfectly still, and advancing + with a bold step and a levelled pistol towards Mauleverer and his servant, + said in a resolute voice, “Gentlemen, it is useless to struggle; we are + well armed, and resolved on effecting our purpose. Your persons shall be + safe if you lay down your arms, and also such part of your property as you + may particularly wish to retain; but if you resist, I cannot answer for + your lives!” + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer had listened patiently to this speech in order that he might + have more time for adjusting his aim. His reply was a bullet, which grazed + the side of the speaker and tore away the skin, without inflicting any + more dangerous wound. Muttering a curse upon the error of his aim, and + resolute to the last when his blood was once up, Mauleverer backed one + pace, drew his sword, and threw himself into the attitude of a champion + well skilled in the use of the instrument he wore. + </p> + <p> + But that incomparable personage was in a fair way of ascertaining what + happiness in the world to come is reserved for a man who has spared no + pains to make himself comfortable in this. For the two first and most + active robbers having finished the achievement of the horses, now + approached Mauleverer; and the taller of them, still indignant at the late + peril to his hair, cried out in a stentorian voice,— + </p> + <p> + “By Jove! you old fool, if you don't throw down your toasting-fork, I'll + be the death of you!” + </p> + <p> + The speaker suited the action to the word by cocking an immense pistol. + Mauleverer stood his ground; but Smoothson retreated, and stumbling + against the wheel of the carriage, fell backward; the next instant, the + second highwayman had possessed himself of the valet's pistols, and, + quietly seated on the fallen man's stomach, amused himself by inspecting + the contents of the domestic's pockets. Mauleverer was now alone; and his + stubbornness so enraged the tall bully that his hand was already on his + trigger, when the third robber, whose side Mauleverer's bullet had grazed, + thrust himself between the two. + </p> + <p> + “Hold, Ned!” said he, pushing back his comrade's pistol. “And you, my + lord, whose rashness ought to cost you your life, learn that men can rob + generously.” So saying, with one dexterous stroke from the robber's + riding-whip, Mauleverer's sword flew upwards, and alighted at the distance + of ten yards from its owner. + </p> + <p> + “Approach now,” said the victor to his comrades. “Rifle the carriage, and + with all despatch!” + </p> + <p> + The tall highwayman hastened to execute this order; and the lesser one + having satisfactorily finished the inquisition into Mr. Smoothson's + pockets, drew forth from his own pouch a tolerably thick rope; with this + he tied the hands of the prostrate valet, moralizing as he wound the rope + round and round the wrists of the fallen man, in the following edifying + strain:— + </p> + <p> + “Lie still, sir,—lie still, I beseech you! All wise men are + fatalists; and no proverb is more pithy than that which says, 'What can't + be cured must be endured.' Lie still, I tell you! Little, perhaps, do you + think that you are performing one of the noblest functions of humanity; + yes, sir, you are filling the pockets of the destitute; and by my present + action I am securing you from any weakness of the flesh likely to impede + so praiseworthy an end, and so hazard the excellence of your action. + There, sir, your hands are tight,—lie still and reflect.” + </p> + <p> + As he said this, with three gentle applications of his feet, the moralist + rolled Mr. Smoothson into the ditch, and hastened to join his lengthy + comrade in his pleasing occupation. + </p> + <p> + In the interim Mauleverer and the third robber (who, in the true spirit of + government, remained dignified and inactive while his followers plundered + what he certainly designed to share, if not to monopolize) stood within a + few feet of each other, face to face. + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer had now convinced himself that all endeavour to save his + property was hopeless, and he had also the consolation of thinking he had + done his best to defend it. He therefore bade all his thoughts return to + the care of his person. He adjusted his fur collar around his neck with + great sang froid, drew on his gloves, and, patting his terrified poodle, + who sat shivering on its haunches with one paw raised and nervously + trembling, he said,— + </p> + <p> + “You, sir, seem to be a civil person, and I really should have felt quite + sorry if I had had the misfortune to wound you. You are not hurt, I trust. + Pray, if I may inquire, how am I to proceed? My carriage is in the ditch, + and my horses by this time are probably at the end of the world.” + </p> + <p> + “As for that matter,” said the robber, whose face, like those of his + comrades, was closely masked in the approved fashion of highwaymen of that + day, “I believe you will have to walk to Maidenhead,—it is not far, + and the night is fine!” + </p> + <p> + “A very trifling hardship, indeed!” said Mauleverer, ironically; but his + new acquaintance made no reply, nor did he appear at all desirous of + entering into any further conversation with Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + The earl, therefore, after watching the operations of the other robbers + for some moments, turned on his heel, and remained humming an opera tune + with dignified indifference until the pair had finished rifling the + carriage, and seizing Mauleverer, proceeded to rifle him. + </p> + <p> + With a curled lip and a raised brow, that supreme personage suffered + himself to be, as the taller robber expressed it, “cleaned out.” His + watch, his rings, his purse, and his snuff-box, all went. It was long + since the rascals had captured such a booty. + </p> + <p> + They had scarcely finished when the postboys, who had now begun to look + about them, uttered a simultaneous cry, and at some distance a wagon was + seen heavily approaching. Mauleverer really wanted his money, to say + nothing of his diamonds; and so soon as he perceived assistance at hand, a + new hope darted within him. His sword still lay on the ground; he sprang + towards it, seized it, uttered a shout for help, and threw himself + fiercely on the highwayman who had disarmed him; but the robber, warding + off the blade with his whip, retreated to his saddle, which he managed, + despite of Mauleverer's lunges, to regain with impunity. + </p> + <p> + The other two had already mounted, and within a minute afterwards not a + vestige of the trio was visible. “This is what may fairly be called single + blessedness!” said Mauleverer, as, dropping his useless sword, he thrust + his hands into his pockets. + </p> + <p> + Leaving our peerless peer to find his way to Maidenhead on foot, + accompanied (to say nothing of the poodle) by one wagoner, two postboys, + and the released Mr. Smoothson, all four charming him with their + condolences, we follow with our story the steps of the three alieni + appetentes. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0026" id="link2HCH0026"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVI. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + The rogues were very merry on their booty. They said a thousand + things that showed the wickedness of their morals.—-Gil Blas. + + They fixed on a spot where they made a cave, which was large enough + to receive them and their horses. This cave was inclosed within a + sort of thicket of bushes and brambles. From this station they used + to issue, etc.—-Memoirs of Richard Turpin. +</pre> + <p> + It was not for several minutes after their flight had commenced that any + conversation passed between the robbers. Their horses flew on like wind; + and the country through which they rode presented to their speed no other + obstacle than an occasional hedge, or a short cut through the thicknesses + of some leafless beechwood. The stars lent them a merry light, and the + spirits of two of them at least were fully in sympathy with the + exhilaration of the pace and the air. Perhaps, in the third, a certain + presentiment that the present adventure would end less merrily than it had + begun, conspired, with other causes of gloom, to check that exaltation of + the blood which generally follows a successful exploit. + </p> + <p> + The path which the robbers took wound by the sides of long woods or across + large tracts of uncultivated land; nor did they encounter anything living + by the road, save now and then a solitary owl, wheeling its gray body + around the skirts of the bare woods, or occasionally troops of conies, + pursuing their sports and enjoying their midnight food in the fields. + </p> + <p> + “Heavens!” cried the tall robber, whose incognito we need no longer + preserve, and who, as our readers are doubtless aware, answered to the + name of Pepper,—“heavens!” cried he, looking upward at the starry + skies in a sort of ecstasy, “what a jolly life this is! Some fellows like + hunting; d—-it! what hunting is like the road? If there be sport in + hunting down a nasty fox, how much more is there in hunting down a nice, + clean nobleman's carriage! If there be joy in getting a brush, how much + more is there in getting a purse! If it be pleasant to fly over a hedge in + the broad daylight, hang me if it be not ten times finer sport to skim it + by night,—here goes! Look how the hedges run away from us! and the + silly old moon dances about, as if the sight of us put the good lady in + spirits! Those old maids are always glad to have an eye upon such fine, + dashing young fellows.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay,” cried the more erudite and sententious Augustus Tomlinson, roused by + success from his usual philosophical sobriety; “no work is so pleasant as + night-work, and the witches our ancestors burned were in the right to ride + out on their broomsticks with the owls and the stars. We are their + successors now, Ned. We are your true fly-by-nights!” + </p> + <p> + “Only,” quoth Ned, “we are a cursed deal more clever than they were; for + they played their game without being a bit the richer for it, and we—I + say, Tomlinson, where the devil did you put that red morocco case?” + </p> + <p> + “Experience never enlightens the foolish,” said Tomlinson, “or you would + have known, without asking, that I had put it in the very safest pocket in + my coat. 'Gad, how heavy it is! + </p> + <p> + “Well,” cried Pepper, “I can't say I wish it were lighter! Only think of + our robbing my lord twice, and on the same road too!” + </p> + <p> + “I say, Lovett,” exclaimed Tomlinson, “was it not odd that we should have + stumbled upon our Bath friend so unceremoniously? Lucky for us that we are + so strict in robbing in masks! He would not have thought the better of + Bath company if he had seen our faces.” + </p> + <p> + Lovett, or rather Clifford, had hitherto been silent. He now turned slowly + in his saddle, and said: “As it was, the poor devil was very nearly + despatched. Long Ned was making short work with him, if I had not + interposed!” + </p> + <p> + “And why did you?” said Ned. + </p> + <p> + “Because I will have no killing; it is the curse of the noble art of our + profession to have passionate professors like thee.” + </p> + <p> + “Passionate!” repeated Ned. “Well, I am a little choleric, I own it; but + that is not so great a fault on the road as it would be in housebreaking. + I don't know a thing that requires so much coolness and self-possession as + cleaning out a house from top to bottom,—quietly and civilly, mind + you!” + </p> + <p> + “That is the reason, I suppose, then,” said Augustus, “that you altogether + renounced that career. Your first adventure was house breaking, I think I + have heard you say. I confess it was a vulgar debut,—not worthy of + you!” + </p> + <p> + “No! Harry Cook seduced me; but the specimen I saw that night disgusted me + of picking locks; it brings one in contact with such low companions. Only + think, there was a merchant, a rag-merchant, one of the party!” + </p> + <p> + “Faugh!” said Tomlinson, in solemn disgust. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, you may well turn up your lip; I never broke into a house again.” + </p> + <p> + “Who were your other companions?” asked Augustus. “Only Harry Cook,—[A + noted highwayman.]—and a very singular woman—” + </p> + <p> + Here Ned's narrative was interrupted by a dark defile through a wood, + allowing room for only one horseman at a time. They continued this gloomy + path for several minutes, until at length it brought them to the brink of + a large dell, overgrown with bushes, and spreading around somewhat in the + form of a rude semicircle. Here the robbers dismounted, and led their + reeking horses down the descent. Long Ned, who went first, paused at a + cluster of bushes, which seemed so thick as to defy intrusion, but which, + yielding on either side to the experienced hand of the robber, presented + what appeared the mouth of a cavern. A few steps along the passage of this + gulf brought them to a door, which, even seen by torchlight, would have + appeared so exactly similar in colour and material to the rude walls on + either side as to have deceived any unsuspecting eye, and which, in the + customary darkness brooding over it, might have remained for centuries + undiscovered. Touching a secret latch, the door opened, and the robbers + were in the secure precincts of the “Red Cave.” It may be remembered that + among the early studies of our exemplary hero the memoirs of Richard + Turpin had formed a conspicuous portion; and it may also be remembered + that in the miscellaneous adventures of that gentleman nothing had more + delighted the juvenile imagination of the student than the description of + the forest cave in which the gallant Turpin had been accustomed to conceal + himself, his friend, his horse, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “And that sweet saint who lay by Turpin's side;” + </pre> + <p> + or, to speak more domestically, the respectable Mrs. Turpin. So strong a + hold, indeed, had that early reminiscence fixed upon our hero's mind, that + no sooner had he risen to eminence among his friends than he had put the + project of his childhood into execution. He had selected for the scene of + his ingenuity an admirable spot. In a thinly peopled country, surrounded + by commons and woods, and yet, as Mr. Robins would say if he had to + dispose of it by auction, “within an easy ride” of populous and + well-frequented roads, it possessed all the advantages of secrecy for + itself and convenience for depredation. Very few of the gang, and those + only who had been employed in its construction, were made acquainted with + the secret of this cavern; and as our adventurers rarely visited it, and + only on occasions of urgent want or secure concealment, it had continued + for more than two years undiscovered and unsuspected. + </p> + <p> + The cavern, originally hollowed by nature, owed but little to the + decorations of art; nevertheless, the roughness of the walls was concealed + by a rude but comfortable arras of matting; four or five of such seats as + the robbers themselves could construct were drawn around a small but + bright wood-fire, which, as there was no chimney, spread a thin volume of + smoke over the apartment. The height of the cave, added to the universal + reconciler (custom), prevented, however, this evil from being seriously + unpleasant; and, indeed, like the tenants of an Irish cabin, perhaps the + inmates attached a degree of comfort to a circumstance which was coupled + with their dearest household associations. A table, formed of a board + coarsely planed, and supported by four legs of irregular size, made equal + by the introduction of blocks or wedges between the legs and the floor, + stood warming its uncouth self by the fire. At one corner a covered cart + made a conspicuous article of furniture, no doubt useful either in + conveying plunder or provisions; beside the wheels were carelessly thrown + two or three coarse carpenter's tools, and the more warlike utilities of a + blunderbuss, a rifle, and two broadswords. In the other corner was an open + cupboard, containing rows of pewter platters, mugs, etc. Opposite the + fireplace, which was to the left of the entrance, an excavation had been + turned into a dormitory; and fronting the entrance was a pair of broad, + strong wooden steps, ascending to a large hollow about eight feet from the + ground. This was the entrance to the stables; and as soon as their owners + released the reins of the horses, the docile animals proceeded one by one + leisurely up the steps, in the manner of quadrupeds educated at the public + seminary of Astley's, and disappeared within the aperture. + </p> + <p> + These steps, when drawn up,—which, however, from their extreme + clumsiness, required the united strength of two ordinary men, and was not + that instantaneous work which it should have been,—made the place + above a tolerably strong hold; for the wall was perfectly perpendicular + and level, and it was only by placing his hands upon the ledge, and so + lifting himself gymnastically upward, that an active assailant could have + reached the eminence,—a work which defenders equally active, it may + easily be supposed, would not be likely to allow. + </p> + <p> + This upper cave—for our robbers paid more attention to their horses + than themselves, as the nobler animals of the two species—was + evidently fitted up with some labour. The stalls were rudely divided, the + litter of dry fern was clean, troughs were filled with oats, and a large + tub had been supplied from a pond at a little distance. A cart-harness and + some old wagoners' frocks were fixed on pegs to the wall; while at the far + end of these singular stables was a door strongly barred, and only just + large enough to admit the body of a man. The confederates had made it an + express law never to enter their domain by this door, or to use it, except + for the purpose of escape, should the cave ever be attacked; in which + case, while one or two defended the entrance from the inner cave, another + might unbar the door, and as it opened upon the thickest part of the wood, + through which with great ingenuity a labyrinthine path had been cut, not + easily tracked by ignorant pursuers, these precautions of the highwaymen + had provided a fair hope of at least a temporary escape from any invading + enemies. + </p> + <p> + Such were the domestic arrangements of the Red Cave; and it will be + conceded that at least some skill had been shown in the choice of the + spot, if there were a lack of taste in its adornments. + </p> + <p> + While the horses were performing their nightly ascent, our three heroes, + after securing the door, made at once to the fire. And there, O reader! + they were greeted in welcome by one—an old and revered acquaintance + of thine—whom in such a scene it will equally astound and wound thee + to re-behold. + </p> + <p> + Know, then—But first we will describe to thee the occupation and the + garb of the August personage to whom we allude. Bending over a large + gridiron, daintily bespread with steaks of the fatted rump, the INDIVIDUAL + stood, with his right arm bared above the elbow, and his right hand + grasping that mimic trident known unto gastronomers by the monosyllable + “fork.” His wigless head was adorned with a cotton nightcap. His upper + vestment was discarded, and a whitish apron flowed gracefully down his + middle man. His stockings were ungartered, and permitted between the knee + and the calf interesting glances of the rude carnal. One list shoe and one + of leathern manufacture cased his ample feet. Enterprise, or the noble + glow of his present culinary profession, spread a yet rosier blush over a + countenance early tinged by generous libations, and from beneath the + curtain of his pallid eyelashes his large and rotund orbs gleamed + dazzlingly on the new comers. Such, O reader! was the aspect and the + occupation of the venerable man whom we have long since taught thee to + admire; such, alas for the mutabilities of earth! was—A new chapter + only can contain the name. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0027" id="link2HCH0027"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVII. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Caliban. Hast thou not dropped from heaven? + Tempest. +</pre> + <p> + PETER MacGRAWLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! + !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! + !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! + !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0028" id="link2HCH0028"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVIII. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + God bless our King and Parliament, + And send he may make such knaves repent! + Loyal Songs against the Rump Parliament. + + Ho, treachery! my guards, my cimeter! + BYRON. +</pre> + <p> + When the irreverent Mr. Pepper had warmed his hands sufficiently to be + able to transfer them from the fire, he lifted the right palm, and with an + indecent jocularity of spirits, accosted the ci-devant ornament of “The + Asinaeum” with a sounding slap on his back, or some such part of his + conformation. + </p> + <p> + “Ah, old boy!” said he, “is this the way you keep house for us? A fire not + large enough to roast a nit, and a supper too small to fatten him + beforehand! But how the deuce should you know how to provender for + gentlemen? You thought you were in Scotland, I'll be bound!” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps he did when he looked upon you, Ned!” said Tomlinson, gravely; + “'t is but rarely out of Scotland that a man can see so big a rogue in so + little a compass!” + </p> + <p> + Mr. MacGrawler, into whose eyes the palmistry of Long Ned had brought + tears of sincere feeling, and who had hitherto been rubbing the afflicted + part, now grumbled forth,— + </p> + <p> + “You may say what you please, Mr. Pepper, but it is not often in my + country that men of genius are seen performing the part of cook to + robbers!” + </p> + <p> + “No!” quoth Tomlinson, “they are performing the more profitable part of + robbers to cooks, eh!” + </p> + <p> + “Damme, you're out,” cried Long Ned,—“for in that country there are + either no robbers, because there is nothing to rob; or the inhabitants are + all robbers, who have plundered one another, and made away with the + booty!” + </p> + <p> + “May the de'il catch thee!” said MacGrawler, stung to the quick,—for, + like all Scots, he was a patriot; much on the same principle as a woman + who has the worst children makes the best mother. + </p> + <p> + “The de'il,” said Ned, mimicking the “silver sound,” as Sir W. Scott had + been pleased facetiously to call the “mountain tongue” (the Scots in + general seem to think it is silver, they keep it so carefully) “the de'il,—MacDeil, + you mean, sure, the gentleman must have been a Scotchman!” + </p> + <p> + The sage grinned in spite; but remembering the patience of Epictetus when + a slave, and mindful also of the strong arm of Long Ned, he curbed his + temper, and turned the beefsteaks with his fork. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Ned,” said Augustus, throwing himself into a chair, which he drew + to the fire, while he gently patted the huge limbs of Mr. Pepper, as if to + admonish him that they were not so transparent as glass, “let us look at + the fire; and, by the by, it is your turn to see to the horses.” + </p> + <p> + “Plague on it!” cried Ned; “it is always my turn, I think. Holla, you Scot + of the pot! can't you prove that I groomed the beasts last? I'll give you + a crown to do it.” + </p> + <p> + The wise MacGrawler pricked up his ears. + </p> + <p> + “A crown!” said he,—“a crown! Do you mean to insult me, Mr. Pepper? + But, to be sure, you did see to the horses last; and this worthy + gentleman, Mr. Tomlinson, must remember it too.” + </p> + <p> + “How!” cried Augustus; “you are mistaken, and I'll give you half a guinea + to prove it.” + </p> + <p> + MacGrawler opened his eyes larger and larger, even as you may see a small + circle in the water widen into enormity, if you disturb the equanimity of + the surface by the obtrusion of a foreign substance. + </p> + <p> + “Half a guinea!” said he; “nay, nay, you joke. I'm not mercenary. You + think I am! Pooh, pooh! you are mistaken; I'm a man who means weel, a man + of veracity, and will speak the truth in spite of all the half-guineas in + the world. But certainly, now I begin to think of it, Mr. Tomlinson did + see to the creatures last; and, Mr. Pepper, it is your turn.” + </p> + <p> + “A very Daniel!” said Tomlinson, chuckling in his usual dry manner. “Ned, + don't you hear the horses neigh?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, hang the horses!” said the volatile Pepper, forgetting everything + else, as he thrust his hands in his pockets, and felt the gains of the + night; “let us first look to our winnings!” + </p> + <p> + So saying, he marched towards the table, and emptied his pockets thereon. + Tomlinson, nothing loath, followed the example. Heavens! what exclamations + of delight issued from the scoundrels' lips, as, one by one, they + inspected their new acquisitions! + </p> + <p> + “Here's a magnificent creature!” cried Ned, handling that superb watch + studded with jewels which the poor earl had once before unavailingly + redeemed,—“a repeater, by Jove!” + </p> + <p> + “I hope not,” said the phlegmatic Augustus; “repeaters will not tell well + for your conversation, Ned! But, powers that be! look at this ring,—a + diamond of the first water!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, the sparkler! it makes one's mouth water as much as itself. 'Sdeath, + here's a precious box for a sneezer,—a picture inside, and rubies + outside! The old fellow had excellent taste; it would charm him to see how + pleased we are with his choice of jewelry!” + </p> + <p> + “Talking of jewelry,” said Tomlinson, “I had almost forgotten the morocco + case. Between you and me, I imagine we have a prize there; it looks like a + jewel casket!” + </p> + <p> + So saying, the robber opened that case which on many a gala day had lent + lustre to the polished person of Mauleverer. Oh, reader, the burst of + rapture that ensued! Imagine it! we cannot express it. Like the Grecian + painter, we drop a veil over emotions too deep for words. + </p> + <p> + “But here,” said Pepper, when they had almost exhausted their transports + at sight of the diamonds,—“here's a purse,—fifty guineas! And + what's this? Notes, by Jupiter! We must change them to-morrow before they + are stopped. Curse those fellows at the Bank! they are always imitating + us, we stop their money, and they don't lose a moment in stopping it too. + Three hundred pounds! Captain, what say you to our luck?” Clifford had sat + gloomily looking on during the operations of the robbers; he now, assuming + a correspondent cheerfulness of manner, made a suitable reply, and after + some general conversation the work of division took place. + </p> + <p> + “We are the best arithmeticians in the world,” said Augustus, as he + pouched his share; “addition, subtraction, division, reduction,—we + have them all as pat as 'The Tutor's Assistant;' and, what is better, we + make them all applicable to the Rule of Three.” + </p> + <p> + “You have left out multiplication!” said Clifford, smiling. “Ah! because + that works differently. The other rules apply to the specie-s of the + kingdom; but as for multiplication, we multiply, I fear, no species but + our own!” + </p> + <p> + “Fie, gentlemen!” said MacGrawler, austerely,—for there is a + wonderful decorum in your true Scotsmen. “Actions are trifles; nothing can + be cleaner than their words!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, you thrust in your wisdom, do you?” said Ned. “I suppose you want + your part of the booty!” + </p> + <p> + “Part!” said the subtilizing Tomlinson. “He has nine times as many parts + as we have already. Is he not a critic, and has he not the parts of speech + at his fingers' end?” + </p> + <p> + “Nonsense!” said MacGrawler, instinctively holding up his hands, with the + fork dropping between the outstretched fingers of the right palm. + </p> + <p> + “Nonsense yourself,” cried Ned; “you have a share in what you never took! + A pretty fellow, truly! Mind your business, Mr. Scot, and fork nothing but + the beefsteaks!” + </p> + <p> + With this Ned turned to the stables, and soon disappeared among the + horses; but Clifford, eying the disappointed and eager face of the + culinary sage, took ten guineas from his own share, and pushed them + towards his quondam tutor. + </p> + <p> + “There!” said he, emphatically. + </p> + <p> + “Nay, nay,” grunted MacGrawler; “I don't want the money,—it is my + way to scorn such dross!” So saying, he pocketed the coins, and turned, + muttering to himself, to the renewal of his festive preparations. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile a whispered conversation took place between Augustus and the + captain, and continued till Ned returned. + </p> + <p> + “And the night's viands smoked along the board!” + </p> + <p> + Souls of Don Raphael and Ambrose Lamela, what a charming thing it is to be + a rogue for a little time! How merry men are when they have cheated their + brethren! Your innocent milksops never made so jolly a supper as did our + heroes of the way. Clifford, perhaps acted a part, but the hilarity of his + comrades was unfeigned. It was a delicious contrast,—the boisterous + “ha, ha!” of Long Ned, and the secret, dry, calculating chuckle of + Augustus Tomlinson. It was Rabelais against Voltaire. They united only in + the objects of their jests, and foremost of those objects (wisdom is ever + the but of the frivolous!) was the great Peter MacGrawler. + </p> + <p> + The graceless dogs were especially merry upon the subject of the sage's + former occupation. + </p> + <p> + “Come, Mac, you carve this ham,” said Ned; “you have had practice in + cutting up.” + </p> + <p> + The learned man whose name was thus disrespectfully abbreviated proceeded + to perform what he was bid. He was about to sit down for that purpose, + when Tomlinson slyly subtracted his chair,—the sage fell. + </p> + <p> + “No jests at MacGrawler,” said the malicious Augustus; “whatever be his + faults as a critic, you see that he is well grounded, and he gets at once + to the bottom of a subject. Mac, suppose your next work be entitled a Tail + of Woe!” + </p> + <p> + Men who have great minds are rarely flexible,—they do not take a + jest readily; so it was with MacGrawler. He rose in a violent rage; and + had the robbers been more penetrating than they condescended to be, they + might have noticed something dangerous in his eye. As it was, Clifford, + who had often before been the protector of his tutor, interposed in his + behalf, drew the sage a seat near to himself, and filled his plate for + him. It was interesting to see this deference from Power to Learning! It + was Alexander doing homage to Aristotle! + </p> + <p> + “There is only one thing I regret,” cried Ned, with his mouth full, “about + the old lord,—it was a thousand pities we did not make him dance! I + remember the day, Captain, when you would have insisted on it. What a + merry fellow you were once! Do you recollect, one bright moonlight night, + just like the present, for instance, when we were doing duty near Staines, + how you swore every person we stopped, above fifty years old, should dance + a minuet with you?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay!” added Augustus, “and the first was a bishop in a white wig. Faith, + how stiffly his lordship jigged it! And how gravely Lovett bowed to him, + with his hat off, when it was all over, and returned him his watch and ten + guineas,—it was worth the sacrifice!” + </p> + <p> + “And the next was an old maid of quality,” said Ned, “as lean as a lawyer. + Don't you remember how she curvetted?” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure,” said Tomlinson; “and you very wittily called her a + hop-pole!” + </p> + <p> + “How delighted she was with the captain's suavity! When he gave her back + her earrings and aigrette, she bade him with a tender sigh keep them for + her sake,—ha! ha!” + </p> + <p> + “And the third was a beau!” cried Augustus; “and Lovett surrendered his + right of partnership to me. Do you recollect how I danced his beauship + into the ditch? Ah! we were mad fellows then; but we get sated—blases, + as the French say—as we grow older!” + </p> + <p> + “We look only to the main chance now,” said Ned. “Avarice supersedes + enterprise,” added the sententious Augustus. + </p> + <p> + “And our captain takes to wine with an h after the w!” continued the + metaphorical Ned. + </p> + <p> + “Come, we are melancholy,” said Tomlinson, tossing off a bumper. “Methinks + we are really growing old, we shall repent soon, and the next step will + be-hanging!” + </p> + <p> + “'Fore Gad!” said Ned, helping himself, “don't be so croaking. There are + two classes of maligned gentry, who should always be particular to avoid + certain colours in dressing; I hate to see a true boy in black, or a devil + in blue. But here's my last glass to-night! I am confoundedly sleepy, and + we rise early to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + “Right, Ned,” said Tomlinson; “give us a song before you retire, and let + it be that one which Lovett composed the last time we were here.” + </p> + <p> + Ned, always pleased with an opportunity of displaying himself, cleared his + voice and complied. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + A DITTY FROM SHERWOOD. + + I. + Laugh with us at the prince and the palace, + In the wild wood-life there is better cheer; + Would you board your mirth from your neighbour's malice, + Gather it up in our garners here. + Some kings their wealth from their subjects wring, + While by their foes they the poorer wax; + Free go the men of the wise wood-king, + And it is only our foes we tax. + Leave the cheats of trade to the shrewd gude-wife + Let the old be knaves at ease; + Away with the tide of that dashing life + Which is stirred by a constant breeze! + + II. + Laugh with us when you hear deceiving + And solemn rogues tell you what knaves we be + Commerce and law have a method of thieving + Worse than a stand at the outlaw's tree. + Say, will the maiden we love despise + Gallants at least to each other true? + I grant that we trample on legal ties, + But I have heard that Love scorns them too, + Courage, then,—courage, ye jolly boys, + Whom the fool with the knavish rates + Oh! who that is loved by the world enjoys + Half as much as the man it hates? +</pre> + <p> + “Bravissimo, Ned!” cried Tomlinson, rapping the table; “bravissimo! Your + voice is superb to-night, and your song admirable. Really, Lovett, it does + your poetical genius great credit; quite philosophical, upon my honour.” + </p> + <p> + “Bravissimo!” said MacGrawler, nodding his head awfully. “Mr. Pepper's + voice is as sweet as a bagpipe! Ah! such a song would have been invaluable + to 'The Asinaeum,' when I had the honour to—” + </p> + <p> + “Be Vicar of Bray to that establishment,” interrupted Tomlinson. “Pray, + MacGrawler, why do they call Edinburgh the Modern Athens?” + </p> + <p> + “Because of the learned and great men it produces,” returned MacGrawler, + with conscious pride. + </p> + <p> + “Pooh! pooh!—you are thinking of ancient Athens. Your city is called + the modern Athens because you are all so like the modern Athenians,—the + greatest scoundrels imaginable, unless travellers belie them.” + </p> + <p> + “Nay,” interrupted Ned, who was softened by the applause of the critic, + “Mac is a good fellow, spare him. Gentlemen, your health. I am going to + bed, and I suppose you will not tarry long behind me.” + </p> + <p> + “Trust us for that,” answered Tomlinson; “the captain and I will consult + on the business of the morrow, and join you in the twinkling of a bedpost, + as it has been shrewdly expressed.” + </p> + <p> + Ned yawned his last “good-night,” and disappeared within the dormitory. + MacGrawler, yawning also, but with a graver yawn, as became his wisdom, + betook himself to the duty of removing the supper paraphernalia: after + bustling soberly about for some minutes, he let down a press-bed in the + corner of the cave (for he did not sleep in the robbers' apartment), and + undressing himself, soon appeared buried in the bosom of Morpheus. But the + chief and Tomlinson, drawing their seats nearer to the dying embers, + defied the slothful god, and entered with low tones into a close and + anxious commune. + </p> + <p> + “So, then,” said Augustus, “now that you have realized sufficient funds + for your purpose, you will really desert us? Have you well weighed the + pros and cons? Remember that nothing is so dangerous to our state as + reform; the moment a man grows honest, the gang forsake him; the + magistrate misses his fee; the informer peaches; and the recusant hangs.” + </p> + <p> + “I have well weighed all this,” answered Clifford, “and have decided on my + course. I have only tarried till my means could assist my will. With my + share of our present and late booty, I shall betake myself to the + Continent. Prussia gives easy trust and ready promotion to all who will + enlist in her service. But this language, my dear friend, seems strange + from your lips. Surely you will join me in my separation from the corps? + What! you shake your head! Are you not the same Tomlinson who at Bath + agreed with me that we were in danger from the envy of our comrades, and + that retreat had become necessary to our safety? Nay, was not this your + main argument for our matrimonial expedition?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, look you, dear Lovett,” said Augustus, “we are all blocks of matter, + formed from the atoms of custom; in other words, we are a mechanism, to + which habit is the spring. What could I do in an honest career? I am many + years older than you. I have lived as a rogue till I have no other nature + than roguery. I doubt if I should not be a coward were I to turn soldier. + I am sure I should be the most consummate of rascals were I to affect to + be honest. No: I mistook myself when I talked of separation. I must e'en + jog on with my old comrades, and in my old ways; till I jog into the noose + hempen or—melancholy alternative!—the noose matrimonial.” + </p> + <p> + “This is mere folly,” said Clifford, from whose nervous and masculine mind + habits were easily shaken. “We have not for so many years discarded all + the servile laws of others, to be the abject slaves of our own weaknesses. + Come, my dear fellow, rouse yourself. Heaven knows, were I to succumb to + the feebleness of my own heart, I should be lost indeed. And perhaps, + wrestle I ever so stoutly, I do not wrestle away that which clings within + me, and will kill me, though by inches. But let us not be cravens, and + suffer fate to drown us rather than swim. In a word, fly with me ere it be + too late. A smuggler's vessel waits me off the coast of Dorset: in three + days from this I sail. Be my companion. We can both rein a fiery horse, + and wield a good sword. As long as men make war one against another, those + accomplishments will prevent their owner from starving, or—” + </p> + <p> + “If employed in the field, not the road,” interrupted Tomlinson, with a + smile,—“from hanging. But it cannot be! I wish you all joy, all + success in your career. You are young, bold, and able; and you always had + a loftier spirit than I have. Knave I am, and knave I must be to the end + of the chapter!” + </p> + <p> + “As you will,” said Clifford, who was not a man of many words, but he + spoke with reluctance: “if so, I must seek my fortune alone.” + </p> + <p> + “When do you leave us?” asked Tomlinson. + </p> + <p> + “To-morrow, before noon. I shall visit London for a few hours, and then + start at once for the coast.” + </p> + <p> + “London!” exclaimed Tomlinson; “what, the very den of danger? Pooh! you do + not know what you say: or do you think it filial to caress Mother Lobkins + before you depart?” + </p> + <p> + “Not that,” answered Clifford. “I have already ascertained that she is + above the reach of all want; and her days, poor soul! cannot, I fear, be + many. In all probability she would scarcely recognize me; for her habits + cannot much have improved her memory. Would I could say as much for her + neighbours! Were I to be seen in the purlieus of low thievery, you know, + as well as I do, that some stealer of kerchiefs would turn informer + against the notorious Captain Lovett.” + </p> + <p> + “What, then, takes you to town? Ah! you turn away your face. I guess! + Well, Love has ruined many a hero before; may you not be the worse for his + godship!” + </p> + <p> + Clifford did not answer, and the conversation made a sudden and long + pause; Tomlinson broke it. + </p> + <p> + “Do you know, Lovett,” said he, “though I have as little heart as most + men, yet I feel for you more than I could have thought it possible. I + would fain join you; there is devilish good tobacco in Germany, I believe; + and, after all, there is not so much difference between the life of a + thief and of a soldier.” + </p> + <p> + “Do profit by so sensible a remark,” said Clifford. “Reflect! how certain + of destruction is the path you now tread; the gallows and the hulks are + the only goals!” + </p> + <p> + “The prospects are not pleasing, I allow,” said Tomlinson; “nor is it + desirable to be preserved for another century in the immortality of a + glass case in Surgeons' Hall, grinning from ear to ear, as if one had made + the merriest finale imaginable. Well! I will sleep on it, and you shall + have my answer tomorrow; but poor Ned?” + </p> + <p> + “Would he not join us?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly not; his neck is made for a rope, and his mind for the Old + Bailey. There is no hope for him; yet he is an excellent fellow. We must + not even tell him of our meditated desertion.” + </p> + <p> + “By no means. I shall leave a letter to our London chief; it will explain + all. And now to bed. I look to your companionship as settled.” + </p> + <p> + “Humph!” said Augustus Tomlinson. + </p> + <p> + So ended the conference of the robbers. About an hour after it had ceased, + and when no sound save the heavy breath of Long Ned broke the stillness of + the night, the intelligent countenance of Peter MacGrawler slowly elevated + itself from the lonely pillow on which it had reclined. + </p> + <p> + By degrees the back of the sage stiffened into perpendicularity, and he + sat for a few moments erect on his seat of honour, apparently in listening + deliberation. Satisfied with the deep silence that, save the solitary + interruption we have specified, reigned around, the learned disciple of + Vatel rose gently from the bed, hurried on his clothes, stole on tiptoe to + the door, unbarred it with a noiseless hand, and vanished. Sweet reader! + while thou art wondering at his absence, suppose we account for his + appearance. + </p> + <p> + One evening Clifford and his companion Augustus had been enjoying the + rational amusement at Ranelagh, and were just leaving that celebrated + place when they were arrested by a crowd at the entrance. That crowd was + assembled round a pickpocket; and that pickpocket—O virtue, O + wisdom, O Asinaeum!—was Peter MacGrawler! We have before said that + Clifford was possessed of a good mien and an imposing manner, and these + advantages were at that time especially effectual in preserving our + Orbilius from the pump. No sooner did Clifford recognize the magisterial + face of the sapient Scot, than he boldly thrust himself into the middle of + the crowd, and collaring the enterprising citizen who had collared + MacGrawler, declared himself ready to vouch for the honesty of the very + respectable person whose identity had evidently been so grossly mistaken. + Augustus, probably foreseeing some ingenious ruse, of his companion, + instantly seconded the defence. The mob, who never descry any difference + between impudence and truth, gave way; a constable came up, took part with + the friend of two gentlemen so unexceptionally dressed; our friends walked + off; the crowd repented of their precipitation, and by way of amends + ducked the gentleman whose pockets had been picked. It was in vain for him + to defend himself, for he had an impediment in his speech; and Messieurs + the mob, having ducked him once for his guilt, ducked him a second time + for his embarrassment. + </p> + <p> + In the interim Clifford had withdrawn his quondam Mentor to the asylum of + a coffee-house; and while MacGrawler's soul expanded itself by wine, he + narrated the causes of his dilemma. It seems that that incomparable + journal “The Asinaeum,” despite a series of most popular articles upon the + writings of “Aulus Prudentius,” to which were added an exquisite string of + dialogues, written in a tone of broad humour, namely, broad Scotch (with + Scotchmen it is all the same thing), despite these invaluable + miscellanies, to say nothing of some glorious political articles, in which + it was clearly proved to the satisfaction of the rich, that the less poor + devils eat the better for their constitutions,—despite, we say, + these great acquisitions to British literature, “The Asinaeum” tottered, + fell, buried its bookseller, and crushed its author. MacGrawler only,—escaping, + like Theodore from the enormous helmet of Otranto,—MacGrawler only + survived. “Love,” says Sir Philip Sidney, “makes a man see better than a + pair of spectacles.” Love of life has a very different effect on the + optics,—it makes a man wofully dim of inspection, and sometimes + causes him to see his own property in another man's purse! This deceptio + visus, did it impose upon Peter MacGrawler? He went to Ranelagh. Reader, + thou knowest the rest! + </p> + <p> + Wine and the ingenuity of the robbers having extorted this narrative from + MacGrawler, the barriers of superfluous delicacy were easily done away + with. + </p> + <p> + Our heroes offered to the sage an introduction to their club; the offer + was accepted; and MacGrawler, having been first made drunk, was next made + a robber. The gang engaged him in various little matters, in which we + grieve to relate that though his intentions were excellent, his success + was so ill as thoroughly to enrage his employers; nay, they were about at + one time, when they wanted to propitiate justice, to hand him over to the + secular power, when Clifford interposed in his behalf. From a robber the + sage dwindled into a drudge; menial offices (the robbers, the lying + rascals, declared that such offices were best fitted to the genius of his + country!) succeeded to noble exploits, and the worst of robbers became the + best of cooks. How vain is all wisdom but that of long experience! Though + Clifford was a sensible, and keen man, though he knew our sage to be a + knave, he never dreamed he could be a traitor. He thought him too indolent + to be malicious, and—short-sighted humanity!—too silly to be + dangerous. He trusted the sage with the secret of the cavern; and + Augustus, who was a bit of an epicure, submitted, though forebodingly, to + the choice, because of the Scotchman's skill in broiling. + </p> + <p> + But MacGrawler, like Brutus, concealed a scheming heart under a stolid + guise. The apprehension of the noted Lovett had become a matter of serious + desire; the police was no longer to be bribed, nay, they were now eager to + bribe. MacGrawler had watched his time, sold his chief, and was now on the + road to Reading to meet and to guide to the cavern Mr. Nabbem of Bow + Street and four of his attendants. + </p> + <p> + Having thus, as rapidly as we were able, traced the causes which brought + so startlingly before your notice the most incomparable of critics, we + now, reader, return to our robbers. + </p> + <p> + “Hist, Lovett!” said Tomlinson, half asleep, “methought I heard something + in the outer cave.” + </p> + <p> + “It is the Scot, I suppose,” answered Clifford: “you saw, of course, to + the door?” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure!” muttered Tomlinson, and in two minutes more he was asleep. + </p> + <p> + Not so Clifford: many and anxious thoughts kept him waking. At one while, + when he anticipated the opening to a new career, somewhat of the stirring + and high spirit which still moved amidst the guilty and confused habits of + his mind made his pulse feverish and his limbs restless; at another time, + an agonizing remembrance,—the remembrance of Lucy in all her charms, + her beauty, her love, her tender and innocent heart,—Lucy all + perfect, and lost to him forever,—banished every other reflection, + and only left him the sick sensation of despondency and despair. “What + avails my struggle for a better name?” he thought. “Whatever my future + lot, she can never share it. My punishment is fixed,—it is worse + than a death of shame; it is a life without hope! Every moment I feel, and + shall feel to the last, the pressure of a chain that may never be broken + or loosened! And yet, fool that I am! I cannot leave this country without + seeing her again, without telling her that I have really looked my last. + But have I not twice told her that? Strange fatality! But twice have I + spoken to her of love, and each time it was to tear myself from her at the + moment of my confession. And even now something that I have no power to + resist compels me to the same idle and weak indulgence. Does destiny urge + me? Ay, perhaps to my destruction! Every hour a thousand deaths encompass + me. I have now obtained all for which I seemed to linger. I have won, by a + new crime, enough to bear me to another land, and to provide me there a + soldier's destiny. I should not lose an hour in flight, yet I rush into + the nest of my enemies, only for one unavailing word with her; and this, + too, after I have already bade her farewell! Is this fate? If it be so, + what matters it? I no longer care for a life which, after all, I should + reform in vain if I could not reform it for her; yet—yet, selfish + and lost that I am! will it be nothing to think hereafter that I have + redeemed her from the disgrace of having loved an outcast and a felon? If + I can obtain honour, will it not, in my own heart at least,—will it + not reflect, however dimly and distantly, upon her?” + </p> + <p> + Such, bewildered, unsatisfactory, yet still steeped in the colours of that + true love which raises even the lowest, were the midnight meditations of + Clifford; they terminated, towards the morning, in an uneasy and fitful + slumber. From this he was awakened by a loud yawn from the throat of Long + Ned, who was always the earliest riser of his set. + </p> + <p> + “Hullo!” said he, “it is almost daybreak; and if we want to cash our notes + and to move the old lord's jewels, we should already be on the start.” + </p> + <p> + “A plague on you!” said Tomlinson, from under cover of his woollen + nightcap; “it was but this instant that I was dreaming you were going to + be hanged, and now you wake me in the pleasantest part of the dream!” + </p> + <p> + “You be shot!” said Ned, turning one leg out of bed; “by the by, you took + more than your share last night, for you owed me three guineas for our + last game at cribbage! You'll please to pay me before we part to-day: + short accounts make long friends!” + </p> + <p> + “However true that maxim may be,” returned Tomlinson, “I know one much + truer,—namely, long friends will make short accounts! You must ask + Jack Ketch this day month if I'm wrong!” + </p> + <p> + “That's what you call wit, I suppose!” retorted Ned, as he now, struggling + into his inexpressibles, felt his way into the outer cave. + </p> + <p> + “What, ho, Mac!” cried he, as he went, “stir those bobbins of thine, which + thou art pleased to call legs; strike a light, and be d—-d to you!” + </p> + <p> + “A light for you,” said Tomlinson, profanely, as he reluctantly left his + couch, “will indeed be a 'light to lighten the Gentiles!'” + </p> + <p> + “Why, Mac, Mac!” shouted Ned, “why don't you answer? faith, I think the + Scot's dead!” + </p> + <p> + “Seize your men!—Yield, sirs!” cried a stern, sudden voice from the + gloom; and at that instant two dark lanterns were turned, and their light + streamed full upon the astounded forms of Tomlinson and his gaunt comrade! + In the dark shade of the background four or five forms were also + indistinctly visible; and the ray of the lanterns glimmered on the blades + of cutlasses and the barrels of weapons still less easily resisted. + </p> + <p> + Tomlinson was the first to recover his self-possession. The light just + gleamed upon the first step of the stairs leading to the stables, leaving + the rest in shadow. He made one stride to the place beside the cart, + where, we have said, lay some of the robbers' weapons; he had been + anticipated,—the weapons were gone. The next moment Tomlinson had + sprung up the steps. + </p> + <p> + “Lovett! Lovett! Lovett!” shouted he. + </p> + <p> + The captain, who had followed his comrades into the cavern, was already in + the grasp of two men. From few ordinary mortals, however, could any two be + selected as fearful odds against such a man as Clifford,—a man in + whom a much larger share of sinews and muscle than is usually the lot even + of the strong had been hardened, by perpetual exercise, into a consistency + and iron firmness which linked power and activity into a union scarcely + less remarkable than that immortalized in the glorious beauty of the + sculptured gladiator. His right hand is upon the throat of one assailant; + his left locks, as in a vice, the wrist of the other; you have scarcely + time to breathe! The former is on the ground, the pistol of the latter is + wrenched from his grip, Clifford is on the step; a ball—another—whizzes + by him; he is by the side of the faithful Augustus! + </p> + <p> + “Open the secret door!” whispered Clifford to his friend; “I will draw up + the steps alone.” + </p> + <p> + Scarcely had he spoken, before the steps were already, but slowly, + ascending beneath the desperate strength of the robber. Meanwhile Ned was + struggling, as he best might, with two sturdy officers, who appeared loath + to use their weapons without an absolute necessity, and who endeavoured, + by main strength, to capture and detain their antagonist. + </p> + <p> + “Look well to the door!” cried the voice of the principal officer, “and + hang out more light!” + </p> + <p> + Two or three additional lanterns were speedily brought forward; and over + the whole interior of the cavern a dim but sufficient light now rapidly + circled, giving to the scene and to the combatants a picturesque and wild + appearance. + </p> + <p> + The quick eye of the head-officer descried in an instant the rise of the + steps, and the advantage the robbers were thereby acquiring. He and two of + his men threw themselves forward, seized the ladder, if so it may be + called, dragged it once more to the ground, and ascended. But Clifford, + grasping with both hands the broken shaft of a cart that lay in reach, + received the foremost invader with a salute that sent him prostrate and + senseless back among his companions. The second shared the same fate; and + the stout leader of the enemy, who, like a true general, had kept himself + in the rear, paused now in the middle of the steps, dismayed alike by the + reception of his friends and the athletic form towering above, with raised + weapons and menacing attitude. Perhaps that moment seemed to the judicious + Mr. Nabbem more favourable to parley than to conflict. He cleared his + throat, and thus addressed the foe: + </p> + <p> + “You, sir, Captain Lovett, alias Howard, alias Jackson, alias Cavendish, + alias Solomons, alias Devil,—for I knows you well, and could swear + to you with half an eye, in your clothes or without,—you lay down + your club there, and let me come alongside of you, and you'll find me as + gentle as a lamb; for I've been used to gemmen all my life, and I knows + how to treat 'em when I has 'em!” + </p> + <p> + “But if I will not let you 'come alongside of me,' what then?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, I must send one of these here pops through your skull, that's all!” + </p> + <p> + “Nay, Mr. Nabbem, that would be too cruel! You surely would not harm one + who has such an esteem for you? Don't you remember the manner in which I + brought you off from Justice Burnflat, when you were accused, you know + whether justly or—” + </p> + <p> + “You're a liar, Captain!” cried Nabbem, furiously, fearful that something + not meet for the ears of his companions should transpire. “You knows you + are! Come down, or let me mount; otherwise I won't be 'sponsible for the + consequences!” + </p> + <p> + Clifford cast a look over his shoulder. A gleam of the gray daylight + already glimmered through a chink in the secret door, which Tomlinson had + now unbarred and was about to open. + </p> + <p> + “Listen to me, Mr. Nabbem,” said he, “and perhaps I may grant what you + require! What would you do with me if you had me?” + </p> + <p> + “You speaks like a sensible man now,” answered Nabbem; “and that's after + my own heart. Why, you sees, Captain, your time is come, and you can't + shilly-shally any longer. You have had your full swing; your years are up, + and you must die like a man! But I gives you my honour as a gemman, that + if you surrenders, I'll take you to the justice folks as tenderly as if + you were made of cotton.” + </p> + <p> + “Give way one moment,” said Clifford, “that I may plant the steps firmer + for you.” + </p> + <p> + Nabbem retreated to the ground; and Clifford, who had, good-naturedly + enough, been unwilling unnecessarily to damage so valuable a functionary, + lost not the opportunity now afforded him. Down thundered the steps, + clattering heavily among the other officers, and falling like an avalanche + on the shoulder of one of the arresters of Long Ned. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile Clifford sprang after Tomlinson through the aperture, and found + himself—in the presence of four officers, conducted by the shrewd + MacGrawler. A blow from a bludgeon on the right cheek and temple of + Augustus felled that hero. But Clifford bounded over his comrade's body, + dodged from the stroke aimed at himself, caught the blow aimed by another + assailant in his open hand, wrested the bludgeon from the officer, struck + him to the ground with his own weapon, and darting onward through the + labyrinth of the wood, commenced his escape with a step too fleet to allow + the hope of a successful pursuit. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0029" id="link2HCH0029"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIX. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “In short, Isabella, I offer you myself!” + “Heavens!” cried Isabella, “what do I hear? You, my lord?” + Castle of Otranto. +</pre> + <p> + A novel is like a weatherglass,—where the man appears out at one + time, the woman at another. Variable as the atmosphere, the changes of our + story now re-present Lucy to the reader. + </p> + <p> + That charming young person—who, it may be remarked, is (her father + excepted) the only unsophisticated and unsullied character in the pages of + a story in some measure designed to show, in the depravities of character, + the depravities of that social state wherein characters are formed—was + sitting alone in her apartment at the period in which we return to her. As + time, and that innate and insensible fund of healing, which Nature has + placed in the bosoms of the young in order that her great law, the passing + away of the old, may not leave too lasting and keen a wound, had softened + her first anguish at her father's death, the remembrance of Clifford again + resumed its ancient sway in her heart. The loneliness of her life, the + absence of amusement, even the sensitiveness and languor which succeed to + grief, conspired to invest the image of her lover in a tenderer and more + impressive guise. She recalled his words, his actions, his letters, and + employed herself whole hours, whole days and nights, in endeavouring to + decipher their mystery. Who that has been loved will not acknowledge the + singular and mighty force with which a girl, innocent herself, clings to + the belief of innocence in her lover? In breasts young and unacquainted + with the world, there is so pure a credulity in the existence of unmixed + good, so firm a reluctance to think that where we love there can be that + which we would not esteem, or where we admire there can be that which we + ought to blame, that one may almost deem it an argument in favour of our + natural power to attain a greater eminence in virtue than the habits and + arts of the existing world will allow us to reach. Perhaps it is not + paradoxical to say that we could scarcely believe perfection in others, + were not the germ of perfectibility in our own minds! When a man has lived + some years among the actual contests of faction without imbibing the + prejudice as well as the experience, how wonderingly be smiles at his + worship of former idols, how different a colour does history wear to him, + how cautious is he now to praise, how slow to admire, how prone to cavil! + Human nature has become the human nature of art; and he estimates it not + from what it may be, but from what, in the corruptions of a + semi-civilization, it is! But in the same manner as the young student + clings to the belief that the sage or the minstrel, who has enlightened + his reason or chained his imagination, is in character as in genius + elevated above the ordinary herd, free from the passions, the frivolities, + the little meannesses, and the darkening vices which ordinary flesh is + heir to, does a woman who loves for the first time cling to the imagined + excellence of him she loves. When Evelina is so shocked at the idea of an + occasional fit of intoxication in her “noble, her unrivalled” lover, who + does not acknowledge how natural were her feelings? Had Evelina been + married six years, and the same lover, then her husband, been really + guilty of what she suspected, who does not feel that it would have been + very unnatural to have been shocked in the least at the occurrence? She + would not have loved him less, nor admired him less, nor would he have + been less “the noble and the unrivalled,”—he would have taken his + glass too much, have joked the next morning on the event, and the gentle + Evelina would have made him a cup of tea; but that which would have been a + matter of pleasantry in the husband would have been matter of damnation in + a lover. But to return to Lucy. + </p> + <p> + If it be so hard, so repellent, to believe a lover guilty even of a + trivial error, we may readily suppose that Lucy never for a moment + admitted the supposition that Clifford had been really guilty of gross + error or wilful crime. True that expressions in his letter were more than + suspicious; but there is always a charm in the candour of + self-condemnation. As it is difficult to believe the excellence of those + who praise themselves, so it is difficult to fancy those criminal who + condemn. What, too, is the process of a woman's reasoning? Alas! she is + too credulous a physiognomist. The turn of a throat, with her, is the + unerring token of nobleness of mind; and no one can be guilty of a sin who + is blessed with a beautiful forehead! How fondly, how fanatically Lucy + loved! She had gathered together a precious and secret hoard,—a + glove, a pen, a book, a withered rose-leaf,—treasures rendered + inestimable because he had touched them; but more than all, had she the + series of his letters,—from the first formal note written to her + father, meant for her, in which he answered an invitation, and requested + Miss Brandon's acceptance of the music she had wished to have, to the last + wild and, to her, inexplicable letter in which he had resigned her + forever. On these relics her eyes fed for hours; and as she pored over + them, and over thoughts too deep not only for tears but for all utterance + or conveyance, you might have almost literally watched the fading of her + rich cheek and the pining away of her rounded and elastic form. + </p> + <p> + It was just in such a mood that she was buried when her uncle knocked at + her door for admittance. She hurried away her treasures, and hastened to + admit and greet him. + </p> + <p> + “I have come,” said he, smiling, “to beg the pleasure of your company for + an old friend who dines with us to-day. But, stay, Lucy, your hair is + ill-arranged. Do not let me disturb so important an occupation as your + toilette; dress yourself, my love, and join us.” + </p> + <p> + Lucy turned, with a suppressed sigh, to the glass. The uncle lingered for + a few moments, surveying her with mingled pride and doubt; he then slowly + left the chamber. + </p> + <p> + Lucy soon afterwards descended to the drawing-room, and beheld with a + little surprise (for she had not had sufficient curiosity to inquire the + name of the guest), the slender form and comely features of Lord + Mauleverer. The earl approached with the same grace which had in his + earlier youth rendered him almost irresistible, but which now, from the + contrast of years with manner, contained a slight mixture of the comic. He + paid his compliments, and in paying them declared that he must leave it to + his friend, Sir William, to explain all the danger he had dared, for the + sake of satisfying himself that Miss Brandon was no less lovely than when + he had last beheld her. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, indeed,” said Brandon, with a scarcely perceptible sneer, “Lord + Mauleverer has literally endured the moving accidents of flood and field,—for + he was nearly exterminated by a highwayman, and all but drowned in a + ditch!” + </p> + <p> + “Commend me to a friend for setting one off to the best advantage,” said + Mauleverer, gayly. “Instead of attracting your sympathy, you see, Brandon + would expose me to your ridicule; judge for yourself whether I deserve + it!” and Mauleverer proceeded to give, with all the animation which + belonged to his character, the particulars of that adventure with which + the reader is so well acquainted. He did not, we may be sure, feel any + scruple in representing himself and his prowess in the most favourable + colours. + </p> + <p> + The story was scarcely ended when dinner was announced. During that meal + Mauleverer exerted himself to be amiable with infinite address. Suiting + his conversation, more than he had hitherto deigned to do, to the temper + of Lucy, and more anxious to soften than to dazzle, he certainly never + before appeared to her so attractive. We are bound to add that the point + of attraction did not reach beyond the confession that he was a very + agreeable old man. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps, if there had not been a certain half-melancholy vein in his + conversation, possibly less uncongenial to his lordship from the + remembrance of his lost diamonds, and the impression that Sir William + Brandon's cook was considerably worse than his own, he might not have been + so successful in pleasing Lucy. As for himself, all the previous + impressions she had made on him returned in colours yet more vivid; even + the delicate and subdued cast of beauty which had succeeded to her earlier + brilliancy, was far more charming to his fastidious and courtly taste than + her former glow of spirits and health. He felt himself very much in love + during dinner; and after it was over, and Lucy had retired, he told + Brandon, with a passionate air, that he adored his niece to distraction! + </p> + <p> + The wily judge affected to receive the intimation with indifference; but + knowing that too long an absence is injurious to a grande passion, he did + not keep Mauleverer very late over his wine. + </p> + <p> + The earl returned rapturously to the drawing-room, and besought Lucy, in a + voice in which affectation seemed swooning with delight, to indulge him + with a song. More and more enchanted by her assent, he drew the + music-stool to the harpsichord, placed a chair beside her, and presently + appeared lost in transport. Meanwhile Brandon, with his back to the pair, + covered his face with his handkerchief, and to all appearance yielded to + the voluptuousness of an after-dinner repose. + </p> + <p> + Lucy's song-book opened accidentally at a song which had been praised by + Clifford; and as she sang, her voice took a richer and more tender tone + than in Mauleverer's presence it had ever before assumed. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE COMPLAINT OF THE VIOLETS WHICH LOSE THEIR SCENT IN MAY. + + In the shadow that falls from the silent hill + We slept, in our green retreats + And the April showers were wont to fill + Our hearts with sweets. + + And though we lay in a lowly bower, + Yet all things loved us well, + And the waking bee left her fairest flower, + With us to dwell. + + But the warm May came in his pride to woo + The wealth of our honeyed store; + And our hearts just felt his breath, and knew + Their sweets no more! + + And the summer reigns on the quiet spot + Where we dwell, and its suns and showers + Bring balm to our sisters' hearts, but not— + Ah! not to ours. + + We live, we bloom, but forever o'er + Is the charm of the earth and sky; + To our life, ye heavens, that balm restore, + Or—bid us die! +</pre> + <p> + As with eyes suffused with many recollections, and a voice which melted + away in an indescribable and thrilling pathos, Lucy ceased her song, + Mauleverer, charmed out of himself, gently took her hand, and holding the + soft treasure in his own, scarcely less soft, he murmured,— + </p> + <p> + “Angel, sing on! Life would be like your own music, if I could breathe it + away at your feet!” + </p> + <p> + There had been a time when Lucy would have laughed outright at this + declaration; and even as it was, a suppressed and half-arch smile played + in the dimples of her beautiful mouth, and bewitchingly contrasted the + swimming softness of her eyes. + </p> + <p> + Drawing rather an erroneous omen from the smile, Mauleverer rapturously + continued, still detaining the hand which Lucy endeavoured to extricate,— + </p> + <p> + “Yes, enchanting Miss Brandon! I, who have for so many years boasted of my + invulnerable heart, am subdued at last. I have long, very long, struggled + against my attachment to you. Alas! it is in vain; and you behold me now + utterly at your mercy. Make me the most miserable of men or the most + enviable. Enchantress, speak!” + </p> + <p> + “Really, my lord,” said Lucy, hesitating, yet rising, and freeing herself + from his hand, “I feel it difficult to suppose you serious; and perhaps + this is merely a gallantry to me by way of practice on others.” + </p> + <p> + “Sweet Lucy, if I may so call you,” answered Mauleverer, with an ardent + gaze, “do not, I implore you, even for a moment, affect to mistake me! Do + not for a moment jest at what, to me, is the bane or bliss of life! Dare I + hope that my hand and heart, which I now offer you, are not deserving of + your derision?” + </p> + <p> + Lucy gazed on her adorer with a look of serious inquiry; Brandon still + appeared to sleep. + </p> + <p> + “If you are in earnest, my lord,” said Lucy, after a pause, “I am truly + and deeply sorry. For the friend of my uncle I shall always have esteem; + believe that I am truly sensible of the honour you render me, when I add + my regret that I can have no other sentiment than esteem.” + </p> + <p> + A blank and puzzled bewilderment for a moment clouded the expressive + features of Mauleverer; it passed away. “How sweet is your rebuke!” said + he. “Yes; I do not yet deserve any other sentiment than esteem. You are + not to be won precipitately; a long trial, a long course of attentions, a + long knowledge of my devoted and ardent love, alone will entitle me to + hope for a warmer feeling in your breast. Fix then your own time of + courtship, angelic Lucy!—-a week, nay, a month! Till then, I will + not even press you to appoint that day which to me will be the whitest of + my life!” + </p> + <p> + “My lord!” said Lucy, smiling now no longer half archly, “you must pardon + me for believing your proposal can be nothing but a jest; but here, I + beseech you, let it rest forever. Do not mention this subject to me + again.” + </p> + <p> + “By heavens!” cried Mauleverer, “this is too cruel. Brandon, intercede + with me for your niece.” + </p> + <p> + Sir William started, naturally enough, from his slumber, and Mauleverer + continued, + </p> + <p> + “Yes, intercede for me; you, my oldest friend, be my greatest benefactor! + I sue to your niece; she affects to disbelieve. Will you convince her of + my truth, my devotion, my worship?” + </p> + <p> + “Disbelieve you!” said the bland judge, with the same secret sneer that + usually lurked in the corners of his mouth. “I do not wonder that she is + slow to credit the honour you have done her, and for which the noblest + damsels in England have sighed in vain. Lucy, will you be cruel to Lord + Mauleverer? Believe me, he has often confided to me his love for you; and + if the experience of some years avails, there is not a question of his + honour and his truth. I leave his fate in your hands.” + </p> + <p> + Brandon turned to the door. + </p> + <p> + “Stay, dear sir,” said Lucy, “and instead of interceding for Lord + Mauleverer, intercede for me.” Her look now settled into a calm and + decided seriousness of expression. “I feel highly flattered by his + lordship's proposal, which, as you say, I might well doubt to be gravely + meant. I wish him all happiness with a lady of higher deserts; but I speak + from an unalterable determination, when I say that I can never accept the + dignity with which he would invest me.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, Lucy walked quickly to the door and vanished, leaving the two + friends to comment as they would upon her conduct. + </p> + <p> + “You have spoiled all with your precipitation,” said the uncle. + </p> + <p> + “Precipitation! d—-n it, what would you have? I have been fifty + years making up my mind to marry; and now when I have not a day to lose, + you talk of precipitation!” answered the lover, throwing himself into an + easy-chair. + </p> + <p> + “But you have not been fifty years making up your mind to marry my niece,” + said Brandon, dryly. + </p> + <p> + “To be refused, positively refused, by a country girl!” continued + Mauleverer, soliloquizing aloud; “and that too at my age and with all my + experience!—a country girl without rank, ton, accomplishments! By + heavens! I don't care if all the world heard it,—for not a soul in + the world will ever believe it.” + </p> + <p> + Brandon sat speechless, eying the mortified face of the courtier with a + malicious complacency, and there was a pause of several minutes. Sir + William then, mastering the strange feeling which made him always rejoice + in whatever threw ridicule on his friend, approached, laid his hand kindly + on Mauleverer's shoulder, and talked to him of comfort and of + encouragement. The reader will believe that Mauleverer was not a man whom + it was impossible to encourage. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0030" id="link2HCH0030"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXX. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Before he came, everything loved me, and I had more things to love + than I could reckon by the hairs of my head. Now I feel I can love + but one, and that one has deserted me.... Well, be it so,— + let her perish, let her be anything but mine!—Melmoth. +</pre> + <p> + Early the next morning Sir William Brandon was closeted for a long time + with his niece, previous to his departure to the duties of his office. + Anxious and alarmed for the success of one of the darling projects of his + ambition, he spared no art in his conversation with Lucy, that his great + ingenuity of eloquence and wonderful insight into human nature could + suggest, in order to gain at least a foundation for the raising of his + scheme. Among other resources of his worldly tact, he hinted at Lucy's + love for Clifford; and (though darkly and subtly, as befitting the purity + of the one he addressed) this abandoned and wily person did not scruple to + hint also at the possibility of indulging that love after marriage; though + he denounced, as the last of indecorums, the crime of encouraging it + before. This hint, however, fell harmless upon the innocent ear of Lucy. + She did not in the remotest degree comprehend its meaning; she only, with + a glowing cheek and a pouting lip, resented the allusion to a love which + she thought it insolent in any one even to suspect. + </p> + <p> + When Brandon left the apartment, his brow was clouded, and his eye absent + and thoughtful: it was evident that there had been little in the + conference with his niece to please or content him. Miss Brandon herself + was greatly agitated; for there was in her uncle's nature that silent and + impressive secret of influencing or commanding others which almost so + invariably and yet so quietly attains the wishes of its owner; and Lucy, + who loved and admired him sincerely,—not the less, perhaps, for a + certain modicum of fear,—was greatly grieved at perceiving how + rooted in him was the desire of that marriage which she felt was a moral + impossibility. But if Brandon possessed the secret of sway, Lucy was + scarcely less singularly endowed with the secret of resistance. It may be + remembered, in describing her character, that we spoke of her as one who + seemed, to the superficial, as of too yielding and soft a temper. But + circumstances gave the lie to manner, and proved that she eminently + possessed a quiet firmness and latent resolution, which gave to her mind a + nobleness and trustworthy power that never would have been suspected by + those who met her among the ordinary paths of life. + </p> + <p> + Brandon had not been long gone, when Lucy's maid came to inform her that a + gentleman, who expressed himself very desirous of seeing her, waited + below. The blood rushed from Lucy's cheek at this announcement, simple as + it seemed. “What gentleman could be desirous of seeing her? Was it—was + it Clifford?” She remained for some moments motionless, and literally + unable to move; at length she summoned courage, and smiling with + self-contempt at a notion which appeared to her after thoughts utterly + absurd, she descended to the drawing-room. The first glance she directed + towards the stranger, who stood by the fireplace with folded arms, was + sufficient,—it was impossible to mistake, though the face was + averted, the unequalled form of her lover. She advanced eagerly with a + faint cry, checked herself, and sank upon the sofa. + </p> + <p> + Clifford turned towards her, and fixed his eyes upon her countenance with + an intense and melancholy gaze, but he did not utter a syllable; and Lucy, + after pausing in expectation of his voice, looked up, and caught, in + alarm, the strange and peculiar aspect of his features. He approached her + slowly, and still silent; but his gaze seemed to grow more earliest and + mournful as he advanced. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said he at last, in a broken and indistinct voice, “I see you once + more, after all my promises to quit you forever,—my solemn + farewell, after all that I have cost you; for, Lucy, you love me, you love + me, and I shudder while I feel it; after all I myself have borne and + resisted, I once more come wilfully into your presence! How have I burned + and sickened for this moment! How have I said, 'Let me behold her once + more, only once more, and Fate may then do her worst!' Lucy! dear, dear + Lucy! forgive me for my weakness. It is now in bitter and stern reality + the very last I can be guilty of!” + </p> + <p> + As he spoke, Clifford sank beside her. He took both her hands in his, and + holding them, though without pressure, again looked passionately upon her + innocent yet eloquent face. It seemed as if he were moved beyond all the + ordinary feelings of reunion and of love. He did not attempt to kiss the + hands he held; and though the touch thrilled through every vein and fibre + of his frame, his clasp was as light as that in which the first timidity + of a boy's love ventures to stamp itself! + </p> + <p> + “You are pale, Lucy,” said he, mournfully, “and your cheek is much thinner + than it was when I first saw you. When I first saw you! Ah! would for your + sake that that had never been! Your spirits were light then, Lucy; your + laugh came from the heart, your step spurned the earth. Joy broke from + your eyes, everything that breathed around you seemed full of happiness + and mirth; and now, look upon me, Lucy! lift those soft eyes, and teach + them to flash upon me indignation and contempt! Oh, not thus, not thus! I + could leave you happy,—yes, literally blessed,—if I could + fancy you less forgiving, less gentle, less angelic!” + </p> + <p> + “What have I to forgive?” said Lucy, tenderly. + </p> + <p> + “What! everything for which one human being can pardon another. Have not + deceit and injury been my crimes against you? Your peace of mind, your + serenity of heart, your buoyancy of temper,—have I marred these or + not?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, Clifford!” said Lucy, rising from herself and from all selfish + thoughts, “why, why will you not trust me? You do not know me, indeed you + do not,—you are ignorant even of the very nature of a woman, if you + think me unworthy of your confidence! Do you believe I could betray it, or + do you think that if you had done that for which all the world forsook + you, I could forsake?” + </p> + <p> + Lucy's voice faltered at the last words; but it sank, as a stone sinks + into deep waters, to the very core of Clifford's heart. Transported from + all resolution and all forbearance, he wound his arms around her in one + long and impassioned caress; and Lucy, as her breath mingled with his, and + her cheek drooped upon his bosom, did indeed feel as if the past could + contain no secret powerful enough even to weaken the affection with which + her heart clung to his. She was the first to extricate herself from their + embrace. She drew back her face from his, and smiling on him through her + tears, with a brightness that the smiles of her earliest youth had never + surpassed, she said,— + </p> + <p> + “Listen to me. Tell me your history or not, as you will. But believe me, a + woman's wit is often no despicable counsellor. They who accuse themselves + the most bitterly are not often those whom it is most difficult to + forgive; and you must pardon me if I doubt the extent of the blame you + would so lavishly impute to yourself. I am now alone in the world” (here + the smile withered from Lucy's lips). “My poor father is dead. I can + injure no one by my conduct; there is no one on earth to whom I am bound + by duty. I am independent, I am rich. You profess to love me. I am foolish + and vain, and I believe you. Perhaps, also, I have the fond hope which so + often makes dupes of women,—the hope that if you have erred, I may + reclaim you; if you have been unfortunate, I may console you! I know, Mr. + Clifford, that I am saying that for which many would despise me, and for + which, perhaps, I ought to despise myself; but there are times when we + speak only as if some power at our hearts constrained us, despite + ourselves,—and it is thus that I have now spoken to you.” + </p> + <p> + It was with an air very unwonted to herself that Lucy had concluded her + address, for her usual characteristic was rather softness than dignity; + but, as if to correct the meaning of her words, which might otherwise + appear unmaidenly, there was a chaste, a proud, yet not the less a tender + and sweet propriety and dignified frankness in her look and manner; so + that it would have been utterly impossible for one who heard her not to + have done justice to the nobleness of her motives, or not to have felt + both touched and penetrated, as much by respect as by any warmer or more + familiar feeling. + </p> + <p> + Clifford, who had risen while she was speaking, listened with a + countenance that varied at every word she uttered,—now all hope, now + all despondency. As she ceased, the expression hardened into a settled and + compulsive resolution. + </p> + <p> + “It is well!” said he, mutteringly. “I am worthy of this,—very, very + worthy! Generous, noble girl! had I been an emperor, I would have bowed + down to you in worship; but to debase, to degrade you,—no! no!” + </p> + <p> + “Is there debasement in love?” murmured Lucy. + </p> + <p> + Clifford gazed upon her with a sort of enthusiastic and self-gratulatory + pride; perhaps he felt to be thus loved and by such a creature was matter + of pride, even in the lowest circumstances to which he could ever be + exposed. He drew his breath hard, set his teeth, and answered,— + </p> + <p> + “You could love, then, an outcast, without birth, fortune, or character? + No! you believe this now, but you could not. + </p> + <p> + “Could you desert your country, your friends, and your home,—all + that you are born and fitted for? Could you attend one over whom the sword + hangs, through a life subjected every hour to discovery and disgrace? + Could you be subjected yourself to the moodiness of an evil memory and the + gloomy silence of remorse? Could you be the victim of one who has no merit + but his love for you, and who, if that love destroy you, becomes utterly + redeemed? Yes, Lucy, I was wrong—I will do you justice; all this, + nay, more, you could bear, and your generous nature would disdain the + sacrifice. But am I to be all selfish, and you all devoted? Are you to + yield everything to me, and I to accept everything and yield none? Alas! I + have but one good, one blessing to yield, and that is yourself. Lucy, I + deserve you; I outdo you in generosity. All that you would desert for me + is nothing—O God!—nothing to the sacrifice I make to you! And + now, Lucy, I have seen you, and I must once more bid you farewell; I am on + the eve of quitting this country forever. I shall enlist in a foreign + service. Perhaps” (and Clifford's dark eyes flashed with fire) “you will + yet hear of me, and not blush when you hear! But” (and his voice faltered, + for Lucy, hiding her face with both hands, gave way to her tears and + agitation),—“but, in one respect, you have conquered. I had believed + that you could never be mine,—that my past life had forever deprived + me of that hope! I now begin, with a rapture that can bear me through all + ordeals, to form a more daring vision. A soil maybe effaced,—an evil + name maybe redeemed,—the past is not set and sealed, without the + power of revoking what has been written. If I can win the right of + meriting your mercy, I will throw myself on it without reserve; till then, + or till death, you will see me no more!” + </p> + <p> + He dropped on his knee, left his kiss and his tears upon Lucy's cold hand; + the next moment she heard his step on the stairs, the door closed heavily + and jarringly upon him, and Lucy felt one bitter pang, and, for some time + at least, she felt no more! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0031" id="link2HCH0031"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXI. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Many things fall between the cup and the lip! + Your man does please me + With his conceit. + ............... + Comes Chanon Hugh accoutred as you see + Disguised! + And thus am I to gull the constable? + Now have among you for a man at arms. + ............... + High-constable was more, though + He laid Dick Tator by the heels. + BEN JONSON—Tale of a Tub. +</pre> + <p> + Meanwhile Clifford strode rapidly through the streets which surrounded the + judge's house, and turning to an obscurer quartier of the town, entered a + gloomy lane or alley. Here he was abruptly accosted by a man wrapped in a + shaggy great-coat, of somewhat a suspicious appearance. + </p> + <p> + “Aha, Captain!” said he, “you are beyond your time, but all 's well!” + </p> + <p> + Attempting, with indifferent success, the easy self-possession which + generally marked his address to his companions, Clifford, repeating the + stranger's words, replied,— + </p> + <p> + “All's well! What! are the prisoners released?” + </p> + <p> + “No, faith!” answered the man, with a rough laugh, “not yet; but all in + good time. It is a little too much to expect the justices to do our work, + though, by the Lord Harry, we often do theirs!” + </p> + <p> + “What then?” asked Clifford, impatiently. + </p> + <p> + “Why, the poor fellows had been carried to the town of ——-, + and brought before the queer cuffin (Magistrate) ere I arrived, though I + set off the moment you told me, and did the journey in four hours. The + examination lasted all yesterday, and they were remanded till to-day,—let's + see, it is not yet noon; we may be there before it's over.” + </p> + <p> + “And this is what you call well!” said Clifford, angrily. “No, Captain, + don't be glimflashy! You have not heard all yet! It seems that the only + thing buffed hard against them was by a stout grazier, who was cried + 'Stand!' to, some fifty miles off the town; so the queer coffin thinks of + sending the poor fellows to the jail of the county where they did the + business!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! that may leave some hopes for them! We must look sharp to their + journey; if they once get to prison, their only chances are the file and + the bribe. Unhappily, neither of them is so lucky as myself at that + trade!” + </p> + <p> + “No, indeed, there is not a stone-wall in England that the great Captain + Lovett could not creep through, I'll swear!” said the admiring satellite. + </p> + <p> + “Saddle the horses and load the pistols! I will join you in ten minutes. + Have my farmer's dress ready, the false hair, etc. Choose your own trim. + Make haste; the Three Feathers is the house of meeting.” + </p> + <p> + “And in ten minutes only, Captain?” + </p> + <p> + “Punctually!” + </p> + <p> + The stranger turned a corner and was out of sight. Clifford, muttering, + “Yes, I was the cause of their apprehension; it was I who was sought; it + is but fair that I should strike a blow for their escape before I attempt + my own,” continued his course till he came to the door of a public-house. + The sign of a seaman swung aloft, portraying the jolly tar with a fine + pewter pot in his hand, considerably huger than his own circumference. An + immense pug sat at the door, lolling its tongue out, as if, having stuffed + itself to the tongue, it was forced to turn that useful member out of its + proper place. The shutters were half closed, but the sounds of coarse + merriment issued jovially forth. + </p> + <p> + Clifford disconcerted the pug; and crossing the threshold, cried in a loud + tone, “Janseen!” + </p> + <p> + “Here!” answered a gruff voice; and Clifford, passing on, came to a small + parlour adjoining the tap. There, seated by a round oak table, he found + mine host,—a red, fierce, weather-beaten, but bloated-looking + personage, like Dick Hatteraick in a dropsy. + </p> + <p> + “How now, Captain!” cried he, in a gutteral accent, and interlarding his + discourse with certain Dutch graces, which with our reader's leave we will + omit, as being unable to spell them; “how now!—not gone yet!” + </p> + <p> + “No! I start for the coast to-morrow; business keeps me to-day. I came to + ask if Mellon may be fully depended on?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, honest to the back-bone.” + </p> + <p> + “And you are sure that in spite of my late delays he will not have left + the village?” + </p> + <p> + “Sure! What else can I be? Don't I know Jack Mellon these twenty years! He + would lie like a log in a calm for ten months together, without moving a + hair's-breadth, if he was under orders.” + </p> + <p> + “And his vessel is swift and well manned, in case of an officer's chase?” + </p> + <p> + “The 'Black Molly' swift? Ask your grandmother. The 'Black Molly' would + outstrip a shark.” + </p> + <p> + “Then good-by, Janseen; there is something to keep your pipe alight. We + shall not meet within the three seas again, I think. England is as much + too hot for me as Holland for you!” + </p> + <p> + “You are a capital fellow!” cried mine host, shaking Clifford by the hand; + “and when the lads come to know their loss, they will know they have lost + the bravest and truest gill that ever took to the toby; so good-by, and be + d—-d to you!” + </p> + <p> + With this valedictory benediction mine host released Clifford; and the + robber hastened to his appointment at the Three Feathers. + </p> + <p> + He found all prepared. He hastily put on his disguise; and his follower + led out his horse,—a noble animal of the grand Irish breed, of + remarkable strength and bone, and save only that it was somewhat sharp in + the quarters (a fault which they who look for speed as well as grace will + easily forgive), of most unequalled beauty in its symmetry and + proportions. + </p> + <p> + Well did the courser know, and proudly did it render obeisance to, its + master; snorting impatiently and rearing from the hand of the attendant + robber, the sagacious animal freed itself of the rein, and as it tossed + its long mane in the breeze of the fresh air, came trotting to the place + where Clifford stood. + </p> + <p> + “So ho, Robin! so ho! What, thou chafest that I have left thy fellow + behind at the Red Cave! Him we may never see more. But while I have life, + I will not leave thee, Robin!” With these words the robber fondly stroked + the shining neck of his favourite steed; and as the animal returned the + caress by rubbing its head against the hands and the athletic breast of + its master, Clifford felt at his heart somewhat of that old racy stir of + the blood which had been once to him the chief charm of his criminal + profession, and which in the late change of his feelings he had almost + forgotten. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Robin, well,” he renewed, as he kissed the face of his steed,—“well, + we will have some days like our old ones yet; thou shalt say, Ha! ha! to + the trumpet, and bear thy master along on more glorious enterprises than + he has yet thanked thee for sharing. Thou wilt now be my only familiar, my + only friend, Robin; we two shall be strangers in a foreign land. But thou + wilt make thyself welcome easier than thy lord, Robin; and thou wilt + forget the old days and thine old comrades and thine old loves, when—Ha!” + and Clifford turned abruptly to his attendant, who addressed him; “It is + late, you say. True! Look you, it will be unwise for us both to quit + London together. You know the sixth milestone; join me there, and we can + proceed in company!” + </p> + <p> + Not unwilling to linger for a parting cup, the comrade assented to the + prudence of the plan proposed; and after one or two additional words of + caution and advice, Clifford mounted and rode from the yard of the inn. As + he passed through the tall wooden gates into the street, the imperfect + gleam of the wintry sun falling over himself and his steed, it was + scarcely possible, even in spite of his disguise and rude garb, to + conceive a more gallant and striking specimen of the lawless and daring + tribe to which he belonged; the height, strength, beauty, and exquisite + grooming visible in the steed; the sparkling eye, the bold profile, the + sinewy chest, the graceful limbs, and the careless and practised + horsemanship of the rider. + </p> + <p> + Looking after his chief with a long and an admiring gaze, the robber said + to the hostler of the inn, an aged and withered man, who had seen nine + generations of highwaymen rise and vanish,— + </p> + <p> + “There, Joe, when did you ever look on a hero like that? The bravest + heart, the frankest hand, the best judge of a horse, and the handsomest + man that ever did honour to Hounslow!” + </p> + <p> + “For all that,” returned the hostler, shaking his palsied head, and + turning back to the tap-room,—“for all that, master, his time be up. + Mark my whids, Captain Lovett will not be over the year,—no, nor + mayhap the month!” + </p> + <p> + “Why, you old rascal, what makes you so wise? You will not peach, I + suppose!” + </p> + <p> + “I peach! Devil a bit! But there never was the gemman of the road, great + or small, knowing or stupid, as outlived his seventh year. And this will + be the captain's seventh, come the 21st of next month; but he be a fine + chap, and I'll go to his hanging!” + </p> + <p> + “Pish!” said the robber, peevishly,—he himself was verging towards + the end of his sixth year,—“pish!” + </p> + <p> + “Mind, I tells it you, master; and somehow or other I thinks—and I + has experience in these things—by the fey, of his eye and the drop + of his lip, that the captain's time will be up to-day!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [Fey—A word difficult to translate; but the closest interpretation + of which is, perhaps, “the ill omen.”] +</pre> + <p> + Here the robber lost all patience, and pushing the hoary boder of evil + against the wall, he turned on his heel, and sought some more agreeable + companion to share his stirrup-cup. + </p> + <p> + It was in the morning of the day following that in which the above + conversations occurred, that the sagacious Augustus Tomlinson and the + valorous Edward Pepper, handcuffed and fettered, were jogging along the + road in a postchaise, with Mr. Nabbem squeezed in by the side of the + former, and two other gentlemen in Mr. Nabbem's confidence mounted on the + box of the chaise, and interfering sadly, as Long Ned growlingly remarked, + with “the beauty of the prospect.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, well!” quoth Nabbem, unavoidably thrusting his elbow into Tomlinson's + side, while he drew out his snuffbox, and helped himself largely to the + intoxicating dust; “you had best prepare yourself, Mr. Pepper, for a + change of prospects. I believes as how there is little to please you in + guod [prison].” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing makes men so facetious as misfortune to others!” said Augustus, + moralizing, and turning himself, as well as he was able, in order to + deliver his body from the pointed elbow of Mr. Nabbem. “When a man is down + in the world, all the bystanders, very dull fellows before, suddenly + become wits!” + </p> + <p> + “You reflects on I,” said Mr. Nabbem. “Well, it does not sinnify a pin; + for directly we does our duty, you chaps become howdaciously ungrateful!” + </p> + <p> + “Ungrateful!” said Pepper; “what a plague have we got to be grateful for? + I suppose you think we ought to tell you you are the best friend we have, + because you have scrouged us, neck and crop, into this horrible hole, like + turkeys fatted for Christmas. 'Sdeath! one's hair is flatted down like a + pancake; and as for one's legs, you had better cut them off at once than + tuck them up in a place a foot square,—to say nothing of these + blackguardly irons!” + </p> + <p> + “The only irons pardonable in your eyes, Ned,” said Tomlinson, “are the + curling-irons, eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Now, if this is not too much!” cried Nabbem, crossly; “you objects to go + in a cart like the rest of your profession; and when I puts myself out of + the way to obleedgie you with a shay, you slangs I for it!” + </p> + <p> + “Peace, good Nabbem!” said Augustus, with a sage's dignity; “you must + allow a little bad humour in men so unhappily situated as we are.” + </p> + <p> + The soft answer turneth away wrath. Tomlinson's answer softened Nabbem; + and by way of conciliation, he held his snuff-box to the nose of his + unfortunate prisoner. Shutting his eyes, Tomlinson long and earnestly + sniffed up the luxury, and as soon as, with his own kerchief of spotted + yellow, the officer had wiped from the proboscis some lingering grains, + Tomlinson thus spoke: + </p> + <p> + “You see us now, Mr. Nabbem, in a state of broken-down opposition; but our + spirits are not broken too. In our time we have had something to do with + the administration; and our comfort at present is the comfort of fallen + ministers!” + </p> + <p> + “Oho! you were in the Methodist line before you took to the road?” said + Nabbem. + </p> + <p> + “Not so!” answered Augustus, gravely. “We were the Methodists of politics, + not of the church; namely, we lived upon our flock without a legal + authority to do so, and that which the law withheld from us our wits gave. + But tell me, Mr. Nabbem, are you addicted to politics?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, they says I be,” said Mr. Nabbem, with a grin; “and for my part, I + thinks all who sarves the king should stand up for him, and take care of + their little families!” + </p> + <p> + “You speak what others think!” answered Tomlinson, smiling also. “And I + will now, since you like politics, point out to you what I dare say you + have not observed before.” + </p> + <p> + “What be that?” said Nabbem. + </p> + <p> + “A wonderful likeness between the life of the gentlemen adorning his + Majesty's senate and the life of the gentlemen whom you are conducting to + his Majesty's jail.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE LIBELLOUS PARALLEL OF AUGUSTUS TOMLINSON. + + “We enter our career, Mr. Nabbem, as your embryo ministers enter + parliament,—by bribery and corruption. There is this difference, + indeed, between the two cases: we are enticed to enter by the + bribery and corruptions of others; they enter spontaneously by dint + of their own. At first, deluded by romantic visions, we like the + glory of our career better than the profit, and in our youthful + generosity we profess to attack the rich solely from consideration + for the poor! By and by, as we grow more hardened, we laugh at + these boyish dreams,—peasant or prince fares equally at our + impartial hands; we grasp at the bucket, but we scorn not the + thimbleful; we use the word 'glory' only as a trap for proselytes + and apprentices; our fingers, like an office-door, are open for all + that can possibly come into them; we consider the wealthy as our + salary, the poor as our perquisites. What is this, but a picture of + your member of parliament ripening into a minister, your patriot + mellowing into your placeman? And mark me, Mr. Nabbem! is not the + very language of both as similar as the deeds? What is the phrase + either of us loves to employ? 'To deliver.' What? 'The Public.' + And do not both invariably deliver it of the same thing,—namely, + its purse? Do we want an excuse for sharing the gold of our + neighbours, or abusing them if they resist? Is not our mutual, our + pithiest plea, 'Distress'? True, your patriot calls it 'distress of + the country;' but does he ever, a whit more than we do, mean any + distress but his own? When we are brought low, and our coats are + shabby, do we not both shake our heads and talk of 'reform'? And + when, oh! when we are up in the world, do we not both kick 'reform' + to the devil? How often your parliament man 'vacates his seat,' + only for the purpose of resuming it with a weightier purse! How + often, dear Ned, have our seats been vacated for the same end! + Sometimes, indeed, he really finishes his career by accepting the + Hundreds,—it is by 'accepting the hundreds' that ours may be + finished too! [Ned drew a long sigh.] Note us now, Mr. Nabbem, in + the zenith of our prosperity,—we have filled our pockets, we have + become great in the mouths of our party. Our pals admire us, and + our blowens adore. What do we in this short-lived summer? Save and + be thrifty? Ah, no! we must give our dinners, and make light of our + lush. We sport horses on the race-course, and look big at the + multitude we have bubbled. Is not this your minister come into + office? Does not this remind you of his equipage, his palace, his + plate? In both cases lightly won, lavishly wasted; and the public, + whose cash we have fingered, may at least have the pleasure of + gaping at the figure we make with it! This, then, is our harvest of + happiness; our foes, our friends, are ready to eat us with envy,— + yet what is so little enviable as our station? Have we not both our + common vexations and our mutual disquietudes? Do we not both bribe + [Nabbem shook his head and buttoned his waistcoat] our enemies, + cajole our partisans, bully our dependants, and quarrel with our + only friends,—namely, ourselves? Is not the secret question with + each, 'It is all confoundedly fine; but how long will it last?' + Now, Mr. Nabbem, note me,—reverse the portrait: we are fallen, our + career is over,—the road is shut to us, and new plunderers are + robbing the carriages that once we robbed. Is not this the lot of— + No, no! I deceive myself! Your ministers, your jobmen, for the + most part milk the popular cow while there's a drop in the udder. + Your chancellor declines on a pension; your minister attenuates on a + grant; the feet of your great rogues may be gone from the treasury + benches, but they have their little fingers in the treasury. Their + past services are remembered by his Majesty; ours only noted by the + Recorder. They save themselves, for they hang by one another; we go + to the devil, for we hang by ourselves. We have our little day of + the public, and all is over; but it is never over with them. We + both hunt the same fox; but we are your fair riders, they are your + knowing ones,—we take the leap, and our necks are broken; they + sneak through the gates, and keep it up to the last!” + </pre> + <p> + As he concluded, Tomlinson's head dropped on his bosom, and it was easy to + see that painful comparisons, mingled perhaps with secret murmurs at the + injustice of fortune, were rankling in his breast. Long Ned sat in gloomy + silence; and even the hard heart of the severe Mr. Nabbem was softened by + the affecting parallel to which he had listened. They had proceeded + without speaking for two or three miles, when Long Ned, fixing his eyes on + Tomlinson, exclaimed,— + </p> + <p> + “Do you know, Tomlinson, I think it was a burning shame in Lovett to + suffer us to be carried off like muttons, without attempting to rescue us + by the way! It is all his fault that we are here; for it was he whom + Nabbem wanted, not us.” + </p> + <p> + “Very true,” said the cunning policeman; “and if I were you, Mr. Pepper, + hang me if I would not behave like a man of spirit, and show as little + consarn for him as he shows for you! Why, Lord now, I doesn't want to + 'tice you; but this I does know, the justices are very anxious to catch + Lovett; and one who gives him up, and says a word or two about his + c'racter, so as to make conviction sartain, may himself be sartain of a + free pardon for all little sprees and so forth!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said Long Ned, with a sigh, “that is all very well, Mr. Nabbem, but + I'll go to the crap like a gentleman, and not peach of my comrades; and + now I think of it, Lovett could scarcely have assisted us. One man alone, + even Lovett, clever as he is, could not have forced us out of the clutches + of you and your myrmidons, Mr. Nabbem! And when we were once at——-, + they took excellent care of us. But tell me now, my dear Nabbem,” and Long + Ned's voice wheedled itself into something like softness,—“tell me, + do you think the grazier will buff it home?” + </p> + <p> + “No doubt of that,” said the unmoved Nabbem. Long Ned's face fell. “And + what if he does?” said he; “they can but transport us!” + </p> + <p> + “Don't desave yourself, Master Pepper!” said Nabbem: “you're too old a + hand for the herring-pond. They're resolved to make gallows apples of all + such numprels [Nonpareils] as you!” + </p> + <p> + Ned cast a sullen look at the officer. + </p> + <p> + “A pretty comforter you are!” said he. “I have been in a post chaise with + a pleasanter fellow, I'll swear! You may call me an apple if you will, + but, I take it, I am not an apple you'd like to see peeled.” + </p> + <p> + With this pugilistic and menacing pun, the lengthy hero relapsed into + meditative silence. + </p> + <p> + Our travellers were now entering a road skirted on one side by a common of + some extent, and on the other by a thick hedgerow, which through its + breaks gave occasional glimpses of woodland and fallow, interspersed with + cross-roads and tiny brooklets. + </p> + <p> + “There goes a jolly fellow!” said Nabbem, pointing to an athletic-looking + man, riding before the carriage, dressed in a farmer's garb, and mounted + on a large and powerful horse of the Irish breed. “I dare say he is well + acquainted with your grazier, Mr. Tomlinson; he looks mortal like one of + the same kidney; and here comes another chap” (as the stranger, was joined + by a short, stout, ruddy man in a carter's frock, riding on a horse less + showy than his comrade's, but of the lengthy, reedy, lank, yet muscular + race, which a knowing jockey would like to bet on). “Now that's what I + calls a comely lad!” continued Nabbem, pointing to the latter horseman; + “none of your thin-faced, dark, strapping fellows like that Captain + Lovett, as the blowens raves about, but a nice, tight little body, with a + face like a carrot! That's a beauty for my money! Honesty's stamped on his + face, Mr. Tomlinson! I dare says” (and the officer grinned, for he had + been a lad of the cross in his own day),—“I dare says, poor innocent + booby, he knows none of the ways of Lunnun town; and if he has not as + merry a life as some folks, mayhap he may have a longer. But a merry one + forever for such lads as us, Mr. Pepper! I say, has you heard as how Bill + Fang went to Scratchland [Scotland] and was stretched for smashing queer + screens [that is, hung for uttering forged notes]? He died 'nation game; + for when his father, who was a gray-headed parson, came to see him after + the sentence, he says to the governor, say he, 'Give us a tip, old 'un, to + pay the expenses, and die dacently.' The parson forks him out ten shiners, + preaching all the while like winkey. Bob drops one of the guineas between + his fingers, and says, 'Holla, dad, you have only tipped us nine of the + yellow boys! Just now you said as how it was ten!' On this the + parish-bull, who was as poor as if he had been a mouse of the church + instead of the curate, lugs out another; and Bob, turning round to the + jailer, cries, 'Flung the governor out of a guinea, by God!—[Fact]—Now, + that's what I calls keeping it up to the last!” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Nabbem had scarcely finished this anecdote, when the farmer-like + stranger, who had kept up by the side of the chaise, suddenly rode to the + window, and touching his hat, said in a Norfolk accent,— + </p> + <p> + “Were the gentlemen we met on the road belonging to your party? They were + asking after a chaise and pair.” + </p> + <p> + “No!” said Nabbem, “there be no gentlemen as belongs to our party!” So + saying, he tipped a knowing wink at the farmer, and glanced over his + shoulder at the prisoners. + </p> + <p> + “What! you are going all alone?” said the farmer. + </p> + <p> + “Ay, to be sure,” answered Nabbem; “not much danger, I think, in the + daytime, with the sun out as big as a sixpence, which is as big as ever I + see'd him in this country!” + </p> + <p> + At that moment the shorter stranger, whose appearance had attracted the + praise of Mr. Nabbem (that personage was himself very short and ruddy), + and who had hitherto been riding close to the post-horses, and talking to + the officers on the box, suddenly threw himself from his steed, and in the + same instant that he arrested the horses of the chaise, struck the + postilion to the ground with a short heavy bludgeon which he drew from his + frock. A whistle was heard and answered, as if by a signal: three fellows, + armed with bludgeons, leaped from the hedge; and in the interim the + pretended farmer, dismounting, flung open the door of the chaise, and + seizing Mr. Nabbem by the collar, swung him to the ground with a celerity + that became the circular rotundity of the policeman's figure rather than + the deliberate gravity of his dignified office. + </p> + <p> + Rapid and instantaneous as had been this work, it was not without a check. + Although the policemen had not dreamed of a rescue in the very face of the + day and on the high-road, their profession was not that which suffered + them easily to be surprised. The two guardians of the dicky leaped nimbly + to the ground; but before they had time to use their firearms, two of the + new aggressors, who had appeared from the hedge, closed upon them, and + bore them to the ground. While this scuffle took place, the farmer had + disarmed the prostrate Nabbem, and giving him in charge to the remaining + confederate, extricated Tomlinson and his comrade from the chaise. + </p> + <p> + “Hist!” said he in a whisper, “beware my name; my disguise hides me at + present. Lean on me,—only through the hedge; a cart waits there, and + you are safe!” + </p> + <p> + With these broken words he assisted the robbers as well as he could, in + spite of their manacles, through the same part of the hedge from which the + three allies had sprung. They were already through the barrier,—only + the long legs of Ned Pepper lingered behind,—when at the far end of + the road, which was perfectly straight, a gentleman's carriage became + visible. A strong hand from the interior of the hedge, seizing Pepper, + dragged him through; and Clifford,—for the reader need not be told + who was the farmer, perceiving the approaching reinforcement, shouted at + once for flight. The robber who had guarded Nabbem, and who indeed was no + other than Old Bags, slow as he habitually was, lost not an instant in + providing for himself; before you could say “Laudamus,” he was on the + other side of the hedge. The two men engaged with the police-officers were + not capable of an equal celerity; but Clifford, throwing himself into the + contest and engaging the policemen, gave the robbers the opportunity of + escape. They scrambled through the fence; the officers, tough fellows and + keen, clinging lustily to them, till one was felled by Clifford, and the + other, catching against a stump, was forced to relinquish his hold; he + then sprang back into the road and prepared for Clifford, who now, + however, occupied himself rather in fugitive than warlike measures. + Meanwhile, the moment the other rescuers had passed the Rubicon of the + hedge, their flight, and that of the gentlemen who had passed before them, + commenced. On this mystic side of the hedge was a cross-road, striking at + once through an intricate and wooded part of the country, which allowed + speedy and ample opportunities of dispersion. Here a light cart, drawn by + two swift horses in a tandem fashion, awaited the fugitives. Long Ned and + Augustus were stowed down at the bottom of this vehicle; three fellows + filed away at their irons, and a fourth, who had hitherto remained + inglorious with the cart, gave the lash—and he gave it handsomely—to + the coursers. Away rattled the equipage; and thus was achieved a flight + still memorable in the annals of the elect, and long quoted as one of the + boldest and most daring exploits that illicit enterprise ever + accomplished. + </p> + <p> + Clifford and his equestrian comrade only remained in the field, or rather + the road. The former sprang at once on his horse; the latter was not long + in following the example. But the policeman, who, it has been said, + baffled in detaining the fugitives of the hedge, had leaped back into the + road, was not idle in the meanwhile. When he saw Clifford about to mount, + instead of attempting to seize the enemy, he recurred to his pistol, which + in the late struggle hand to hand he had been unable to use, and taking + sure aim at Clifford, whom he judged at once to be the leader of the + rescue, he lodged a ball in the right side of the robber at the very + moment he had set spurs in his horse and turned to fly. Clifford's head + drooped to the saddle-bow. Fiercely the horse sprang on. The robber + endeavoured, despite his reeling senses, to retain his seat; once he + raised his head, once he nerved his slackened and listless limbs, and + then, with a faint groan, he fell to the earth. The horse bounded but one + step more, and, true to the tutorship it had received, stopped abruptly. + Clifford raised himself with great difficulty on one arm; with the other + hand he drew forth a pistol. He pointed it deliberately towards the + officer that wounded him. The man stood motionless, cowering and + spellbound, beneath the dilating eye of the robber. It was but for a + moment that the man had cause for dread; for muttering between his ground + teeth, “Why waste it on an enemy?” Clifford turned the muzzle towards the + head of the unconscious steed, which seemed sorrowfully and wistfully to + incline towards him. “Thou,” he said, “whom I have fed and loved, shalt + never know hardship from another!” and with a merciful cruelty he dragged + himself one pace nearer to his beloved steed, uttered a well-known word, + which brought the docile creature to his side, and placing the muzzle of + the pistol close to his ear, he fired, and fell back senseless at the + exertion. The animal staggered, and dropped down dead. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile Clifford's comrade, profiting by the surprise and sudden panic + of the officer, was already out of reach, and darting across the common, + he and his ragged courser speedily vanished. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0032" id="link2HCH0032"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXII + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Lose I not + With him what fortune could in life allot? + Lose I not hope, life's cordial? + .............. + In fact, the lessons he from prudence took + Were written in his mind as in a book; + There what to do he read, and what to shun, + And all commanded was with promptness done. + He seemed without a passion to proceed, + .............. + Yet some believed those passions only slept! + CRABBE. + + Relics of love, and life's enchanted spring! + A. WATTS: On burning a Packet of Letters. + + Many and sad and deep + Were the thoughts folded in thy silent breast! + Thou, too, could'st watch and weep! + MRS. HEMANS. +</pre> + <p> + While Sir William Brandon was pursuing his ambitious schemes, and, + notwithstanding Lucy's firm and steady refusal of Lord Mauleverer, was + still determined on that ill-assorted marriage; while Mauleverer himself + day after day attended at the judge's house, and, though he spoke not of + love, looked it with all his might,—it became obvious to every one + but the lover and the guardian, that Lucy herself was rapidly declining in + appearance and health. Ever since the day she had last seen Clifford, her + spirits, before greatly shattered, had refused to regain even a likeness + to their naturally cheerful and happy tone. She became silent and + abstracted; even her gentleness of temper altered at times into a moody + and fretful humour. Neither to books nor music, nor any art by which time + is beguiled, she recurred for a momentary alleviation of the bitter + feelings at her heart, or for a transient forgetfulness of their sting. + The whole world of her mind had been shaken. Her pride was wounded, her + love galled; her faith in Clifford gave way at length to gloomy and dark + suspicion. Nothing, she now felt, but a name as well as fortunes utterly + abandoned, could have justified him for the stubbornness of heart in which + he had fled and deserted her. Her own self-acquittal no longer consoled + her in affliction. She condemned herself for her weakness, from the birth + of her ill-starred affection to the crisis it had now acquired. “Why did I + not wrestle with it at first?” she said bitterly. “Why did I allow myself + so easily to love one unknown to me, and equivocal in station, despite the + cautions of my uncle and the whispers of the world?” Alas! Lucy did not + remember that at the time she was guilty of this weakness, she had not + learned to reason as she since reasoned. Her faculties were but + imperfectly awakened; her experience of the world was utter ignorance. She + scarcely knew that she loved, and she knew not at all that the delicious + and excited sentiment which filled her being could ever become as + productive of evil and peril as it had done now; and even had her reason + been more developed, and her resolutions more strong, does the exertion of + reason and resolution always avail against the master passion? Love, it is + true, is not unconquerable; but how few have ever, mind and soul, coveted + the conquest! Disappointment makes a vow, but the heart records it not. Or + in the noble image of one who has so tenderly and so truly portrayed the + feelings of her own sex,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “We make + A ladder of our thoughts where angels step, + But sleep ourselves at the foot!” + [The History of the Lyre, by L. E. L.] +</pre> + <p> + Before Clifford had last seen her, we have observed that Lucy had (and it + was a consolation) clung to the belief that, despite of appearances and + his own confession, his past life had not been such as to place him + without the pale of her just affections; and there were frequent moments + when, remembering that the death of her father had removed the only being + who could assert an unanswerable claim to the dictation of her actions, + she thought that Clifford, hearing her hand was utterly at her own + disposal, might again appear, and again urge a suit which he felt so few + circumstances could induce her to deny. All this half-acknowledged yet + earnest train of reasoning and hope vanished from the moment he had + quitted her uncle's house. His words bore no misinterpretation. He had not + yielded even to her own condescension, and her cheek burned as she + recalled it. Yet he loved her. She saw, she knew it in his every word and + look! Bitter, then, and dark must be that remorse which could have + conquered every argument but that which urged him to leave her, when he + might have claimed her forever. True, that when his letter formally bade + her farewell, the same self-accusing language was recurred to, the same + dark hints and allusions to infamy or guilt; yet never till now had she + interpreted them rigidly, and never till now had she dreamed how far their + meaning could extend. Still, what crimes could he have committed? The true + ones never occurred to Lucy. She shuddered to ask herself, and hushed her + doubts in a gloomy and torpid silence. But through all her accusations + against herself, and through all her awakened suspicions against Clifford, + she could not but acknowledge that something noble and not unworthy of her + mingled in his conduct, and occasioned his resistance to her and to + himself; and this belief, perhaps, irritated even while it touched her, + and kept her feelings in a perpetual struggle and conflict which her + delicate frame and soft mind were little able to endure. When the nerves + once break, how breaks the character with them! How many ascetics, + withered and soured, do we meet in the world, who but for one shock to the + heart and form might have erred on the side of meekness! Whether it come + from woe or disease, the stroke which mars a single fibre plays strange + havoc with the mind. Slaves we are to our muscles, and puppets to the + spring of the capricious blood; and the great soul, with all its + capacities, its solemn attributes, and sounding claims, is, while on + earth, but a jest to this mountebank,—the body,—from the dream + which toys with it for an hour, to the lunacy which shivers it into a + driveller, laughing as it plays with its own fragments, and reeling + benighted and blinded to the grave! + </p> + <p> + We have before said that Lucy was fond both of her uncle and his society; + and still, whenever the subject of Lord Mauleverer and his suit was left + untouched, there was that in the conversation of Sir William Brandon which + aroused an interest in her mind, engrossed and self-consuming as it had + become. Sorrow, indeed, and sorrow's companion, reflection, made her more + and more capable of comprehending a very subtle and intricate character. + There is no secret for discovering the human heart like affliction, + especially the affliction which springs from passion. Does a writer + startle you with his insight into your nature, be sure that he has + mourned; such lore is the alchemy of tears. Hence the insensible and + almost universal confusion of idea which confounds melancholy with depth, + and finds but hollow inanity in the symbol of a laugh. Pitiable error! + Reflection first leads us to gloom, but its next stage is to brightness. + The Laughing Philosopher had reached the goal of Wisdom; Heraclitus + whimpered at the starting-post. But enough for Lucy to gain even the + vestibule of philosophy. + </p> + <p> + Notwithstanding the soreness we naturally experience towards all who + pertinaciously arouse an unpleasant subject, and in spite therefore of + Brandon's furtherance of Mauleverer's courtship, Lucy felt herself + inclined strangely, and with something of a daughter's affection, towards + this enigmatical being; in spite, too, of all the cold and measured vice + of his character,—the hard and wintry grayness of heart with which + he regarded the welfare of others, or the substances of Truth, Honour, and + Virtue,—the callousness of his fossilized affections, which no human + being softened but for a moment, and no warm and healthful impulse struck, + save into an evanescent and idle flash;—in spite of this consummate + obduracy and worldliness of temperament, it is not paradoxical to say that + there was something in the man which Lucy found at times analogous to her + own vivid and generous self. This was, however, only noticeable when she + led him to talk over earlier days, and when by degrees the sarcastic + lawyer forgot the present, and grew eloquent, not over the actions, but + the feelings of the past. He would speak to her for hours of his youthful + dreams, his occupations, or his projects, as a boy. Above all, he loved to + converse with her upon Warlock, its remains of ancient magnificence, the + green banks of the placid river that enriched its domains, and the summer + pomp of wood and heath-land, amidst which his noonday visions had been + nursed. + </p> + <p> + When he spoke of these scenes and days, his countenance softened, and + something in its expression, recalling to Lucy the image of one still + dearer, made her yearn to him the more. An ice seemed broken from his + mind, and streams of released and gentle feelings, mingled with kindly and + generous sentiment, flowed forth. Suddenly a thought, a word, brought him + back to the present,—his features withered abruptly into their cold + placidity or latent sneer; the seal closed suddenly on the broken spell, + and, like the victim of a fairy-tale, condemned at a stated hour to assume + another shape, the very being you had listened to seemed vanished, and + replaced by one whom you startled to behold. But there was one epoch of + his life on which he was always silent, and that was his first onset into + the actual world,—the period of his early struggle into wealth and + fame. All that space of time seemed as a dark gulf, over which he had + passed, and become changed at once,—as a traveller landing in a + strange climate may adopt, the moment he touches its shore, its costume + and its language. + </p> + <p> + All men—the most modest—have a common failing; but it is one + which often assumes the domino and mask,—pride! Brandon was, + however, proud to a degree very rare in men who have risen and flourished + in the world. Out of the wrecks of all other feelings this imperial + survivor made one great palace for its residence, and called the fabric + “Disdain.” Scorn was the real essence of Brandon's nature; even in the + blandest disguises, the smoothness of his voice, the insinuation of his + smile, the popular and supple graces of his manners, an oily derision + floated, rarely discernible, it is true, but proportioning its strength + and quantum to the calm it produced. + </p> + <p> + In the interim, while his character thus displayed and contradicted itself + in private life, his fame was rapidly rising in public estimation. Unlike + many of his brethren, the brilliant lawyer had exceeded expectation, and + shone even yet more conspicuously in the less adventitiously aided duties + of the judge. Envy itself—and Brandon's political virulence had, + despite his personal affability, made him many foes—was driven into + acknowledging the profundity of his legal knowledge, and in admiring the + manner in which the peculiar functions of his novel dignity were + discharged. No juvenile lawyer browbeat, no hackneyed casuist puzzled, + him; even his attention never wandered from the dullest case subjected to + his tribunal. A painter, desirous of stamping on his canvas the portrait + of an upright judge, could scarcely have found a finer realization for his + beau-ideal than the austere, collected, keen, yet majestic countenance of + Sir William Brandon, such as it seemed in the trappings of office and from + the seat of justice. + </p> + <p> + The newspapers were not slow in recording the singular capture of the + notorious Lovett. The boldness with which he had planned and executed the + rescue of his comrades, joined to the suspense in which his wound for some + time kept the public, as to his escape from one death by the postern gate + of another, caused a very considerable ferment and excitation in the + popular mind; and, to feed the impulse, the journalists were little + slothful in retailing every anecdote, true or false, which they could + collect touching the past adventures of the daring highwayman. Many a good + story then came to light, which partook as much of the comic as the + tragic,—for not a single one of the robber's adventures was noted + for cruelty or bloodshed; many of them betokened rather an hilarious and + jovial spirit of mirthful enterprise. It seemed as if he had thought the + highway a capital arena for jokes, and only robbed for the sake of venting + a redundant affection for jesting. Persons felt it rather a sin to be + severe with a man of so merry a disposition; and it was especially + observable that not one of the ladies who had been despoiled by the robber + could be prevailed on to prosecute; on the contrary, they always talked of + the event as one of the most agreeable remembrances in their lives, and + seemed to bear a provoking gratitude to the comely offender, rather than + resentment. All the gentlemen were not, however, of so placable a temper; + and two sturdy farmers, with a grazier to boot, were ready to swear, + “through thick and thin,” to the identity of the prisoner with a horseman + who had civilly borne each of them company for an hour in their several + homeward rides from certain fairs, and had carried the pleasure of his + society, they very gravely asserted, considerably beyond a joke; so that + the state of the prisoner's affairs took a very sombre aspect, and the + counsel—an old hand—intrusted with his cause declared + confidentially that there was not a chance. But a yet more weighty + accusation, because it came from a much nobler quarter, awaited Clifford. + In the robbers' cavern were found several articles answering exactly to + the description of those valuables feloniously abstracted from the person + of Lord Mauleverer. That nobleman attended to inspect the articles, and to + view the prisoner. The former he found himself able to swear to, with a + very tranquillized conscience; the latter he beheld feverish, attenuated, + and in a moment of delirium, on the sick-bed to which his wound had + brought him. He was at no loss, however, to recognize in the imprisoned + felon the gay and conquering Clifford, whom he had once even honoured with + his envy. Although his former dim and vague suspicions of Clifford were + thus confirmed, the good-natured peer felt some slight compunction at + appearing as his prosecutor. This compunction, however, vanished the + moment he left the sick man's apartment; and after a little patriotic + conversation with the magistrates about the necessity of public duty,—a + theme which brought virtuous tears into the eyes of those respectable + functionaries,—he re-entered his carriage, returned to town, and + after a lively dinner tete-a-tete with an old chere amie, who, of all her + charms, had preserved only the attraction of conversation and the capacity + of relishing a salami, Mauleverer, the very evening of his return, betook + himself to the house of Sir William Brandon. + </p> + <p> + When he entered the hall, Barlow, the judge's favourite servant, met him, + with rather a confused and mysterious air, and arresting him as he was + sauntering into Brandon's library, informed him that Sir William was + particularly engaged, but would join his lordship in the drawing-room. + While Barlow was yet speaking, and Mauleverer was bending his right ear + (with which he heard the best) towards him, the library door opened, and a + man in a very coarse and ruffianly garb awkwardly bowed himself out. + </p> + <p> + “So this is the particular engagement,” thought Mauleverer,—“a + strange Sir Pandarus; but those old fellows have droll tastes.” + </p> + <p> + “I may go in now, my good fellow, I suppose?” said his lordship to Barlow; + and without waiting an answer, he entered the library. He found Brandon + alone, and bending earnestly over some letters which strewed his table. + Mauleverer carelessly approached, and threw himself into an opposite + chair. Sir William lifted his head, as he heard the movement; and + Mauleverer, reckless as was that personage, was chilled and almost awed by + the expression of his friend's countenance. Brandon's face was one which, + however pliant, nearly always wore one pervading character,—calmness; + whether in the smoothness of social courtesy, or the austerity of his + official station, or the bitter sarcasm which escaped him at no unfrequent + intervals, still a certain hard and inflexible dryness stamped both his + features and his air. But at this time a variety of feelings not + ordinarily eloquent in the outward man struggled in his dark face, + expressive of all the energy and passion of his powerful and masculine + nature; there seemed to speak from his features and eyes something of + shame and anger and triumph and regret and scorn. All these various + emotions, which it appears almost a paradox to assert met in the same + expression, nevertheless were so individually and almost fearfully stamped + as to convey at once their signification to the mind of Mauleverer. He + glanced towards the letters, in which the writing seemed faint and + discoloured by time or damp; and then once more regarding the face of + Brandon, said in rather an anxious and subdued tone,— + </p> + <p> + “Heavens, Brandon! are you ill; or has anything happened? You alarm me!” + </p> + <p> + “Do you recognize these locks?” said Brandon, in a hollow voice; and from + under the letters he drew some ringlets of an auburn hue, and pushed them + with an averted face towards Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + The earl took them up, regarded them for a few moments, changed colour, + but shook his head with a negative gesture, as he laid them once more on + the table. + </p> + <p> + “This handwriting, then?” renewed the judge, in a yet more impressive and + painful voice; and he pointed to the letters. + </p> + <p> + Mauleverer raised one of them, and held it between his face and the lamp, + so that whatever his features might have betrayed was hidden from his + companion. At length he dropped the letter with an affected nonchalance, + and said,— + </p> + <p> + “Ah, I know the writing even at this distance of time; this letter is + directed to you!” + </p> + <p> + “It is; so are all these,” said Brandon, with the same voice of + preternatural and strained composure. “They have come back to me after an + absence of nearly twenty-five years; they are the letters she wrote to me + in the days of our courtship” (here Brandon laughed scornfully),—“she + carried them away with her, you know when; and (a pretty clod of + consistency is woman!) she kept them, it seems, to her dying day.” + </p> + <p> + The subject in discussion, whatever it might be, appeared a sore one to + Mauleverer; he turned uneasily on his chair, and said at length,— + </p> + <p> + “Well, poor creature! these are painful remembrances, since it turned out + so unhappily; but it was not our fault, dear Brandon. We were men of the + world; we knew the value of—of women, and treated them accordingly!” + </p> + <p> + “Right! right! right!” cried Brandon, vehemently, laughing in a wild and + loud disdain, the intense force of which it would be in vain to attempt + expressing. “Right! and, faith, my lord, I repine not, nor repent.” + </p> + <p> + “So, so, that's well!” said Mauleverer, still not at his ease, and + hastening to change the conversation. “But, my dear Brandon, I have + strange news for you! You remember that fellow Clifford, who had the + insolence to address himself to your adorable niece? I told you I + suspected that long friend of his of having made my acquaintance somewhat + unpleasantly, and I therefore doubted of Clifford himself. Well, my dear + friend, this Clifford is—whom do you think?—no other than Mr. + Lovett of Newgate celebrity!” + </p> + <p> + “You do not say so!” rejoined Brandon, apathetically, as he slowly + gathered his papers together and deposited them in a drawer. + </p> + <p> + “Indeed it is true; and what is more, Brandon, this fellow is one of the + very identical highwaymen who robbed me on my road from Bath. No doubt he + did me the same kind office on my road to Mauleverer Park.” + </p> + <p> + “Possibly,” said Brandon, who appeared absorbed in a revery. + </p> + <p> + “Ay!” answered Mauleverer, piqued at this indifference. “But do you not + see the consequences to your niece?” + </p> + <p> + “My niece!” repeated Brandon, rousing himself. + </p> + <p> + “Certainly. I grieve to say it, my dear friend,—but she was young, + very young, when at Bath. She suffered this fellow to address her too + openly. Nay,—for I will be frank,—she was suspected of being + in love with him!” + </p> + <p> + “She was in love with him,” said Brandon, dryly, and fixing the malignant + coldness of his eye upon the suitor. “And, for aught I know,” added he, + “she is so at this moment.” + </p> + <p> + “You are cruel!” said Mauleverer, disconcerted. “I trust not, for the sake + of my continued addresses.” + </p> + <p> + “My dear lord,” said Brandon, urbanely taking the courtier's hand, while + the anguis in herba of his sneer played around his compressed lips,—“my + dear lord, we are old friends, and need not deceive each other. You wish + to marry my niece because she is an heiress of great fortune, and you + suppose that my wealth will in all probability swell her own. Moreover, + she is more beautiful than any other young lady of your acquaintance, and, + polished by your example, may do honour to your taste as well as your + prudence. Under these circumstances, you will, I am quite sure, look with + lenity on her girlish errors, and not love her the less because her + foolish fancy persuades her that she is in love with another.” + </p> + <p> + “Ahem!” said Mauleverer, “you view the matter with more sense than + sentiment; but look you, Brandon, we must try, for both our sakes, if + possible, to keep the identity of Lovett with Clifford from being known. I + do not see why it should be. No doubt he was on his guard while playing + the gallant, and committed no atrocity at Bath. The name of Clifford is + hitherto perfectly unsullied. No fraud, no violence are attached to the + appellation; and if the rogue will but keep his own counsel, we may hang + him out of the way without the secret transpiring.” + </p> + <p> + “But if I remember right,” said Brandon, “the newspapers say that this + Lovett will be tried some seventy or eighty miles only from Bath, and that + gives a chance of recognition.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, but he will be devilishly altered, I imagine; for his wound has + already been but a bad beautifier to his face. Moreover, if the dog has + any delicacy, he will naturally dislike to be known as the gallant of that + gay city where he shone so successfully, and will disguise himself as well + as he is able. I hear wonders of his powers of self-transformation.” + </p> + <p> + “But he may commit himself on the point between this and his trial,” said + Brandon. + </p> + <p> + “I think of ascertaining how far that is likely, by sending my valet down + to him (you know one treats these gentlemen highwaymen with a certain + consideration, and hangs them with all due respect to their feelings), to + hint that it will be doubtless very unpleasant to him, under his 'present + unfortunate circumstances' (is not that the phrase?), to be known as the + gentleman who enjoyed so deserved a popularity at Bath, and that, though + 'the laws of my country compel me' to prosecute him, yet, should he desire + it, he may be certain that I will preserve his secret. Come, Brandon, what + say you to that manoeuvre? It will answer my purpose, and make the + gentleman—for doubtless he is all sensibility—shed tears at my + generous forbearance!” + </p> + <p> + “It is no bad idea,” said Brandon. “I commend you for it. At all events, + it is necessary that my niece should not know the situation of her lover. + She is a girl of a singular turn of mind, and fortune has made her + independent. Who knows but that she might commit some folly or another, + write petitions to the king, and beg me to present them, or go—for + she has a world of romance in her—to prison, to console him; or, at + all events, she would beg my kind offices on his behalf,—a request + peculiarly awkward, as in all probability I shall have the honour of + trying him.” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, by the by, so you will. And I fancy the poor rogue's audacity will + not cause you to be less severe than you usually are. They say you promise + to make more human pendulums than any of your brethren.” + </p> + <p> + “They do say that, do they?” said Brandon. “Well, I own I have a bile + against my species; I loathe their folly and their half vices. 'Ridet et + odit'—[“He laughs and hates”]—is my motto; and I allow that it + is not the philosophy that makes men merciful!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, Juvenal's wisdom be yours, mine be Horace's!” rejoined Mauleverer, + as he picked his teeth; “but I am glad you see the absolute necessity of + keeping this secret from Lucy's suspicion. She never reads the papers, I + suppose? Girls never do!” + </p> + <p> + “No! and I will take care not to have them thrown in her way; and as, in + consequence of my poor brother's recent death, she sees nobody but us, + there is little chance, should Lovett's right to the name of Clifford be + discovered, that it should reach her ears.” + </p> + <p> + “But those confounded servants?” + </p> + <p> + “True enough! But consider that before they know it, the newspapers will; + so that, should it be needful, we shall have our own time to caution them. + I need only say to Lucy's woman, 'A poor gentleman, a friend of the late + squire, whom your mistress used to dance with, and you must have seen,—Captain + Clifford,—is to be tried for his life. It will shock her, poor + thing! in her present state of health, to tell her of so sad an event to + her father's friend; therefore be silent, as you value your place and ten + guineas,'—and I may be tolerably sure of caution!” + </p> + <p> + “You ought to be chairman to the Ways and Means Committee!” cried + Mauleverer. “My mind is now easy; and when once poor Clifford is gone,—fallen + from a high estate,—we may break the matter gently to her; and as I + intend thereon to be very respectful, very delicate, etc., she cannot but + be sensible of my kindness and real affection!” + </p> + <p> + “And if a live dog be better than a dead lion,” added Brandon, “surely a + lord in existence will be better than a highwayman hanged!” + </p> + <p> + “According to ordinary logic,” rejoined Mauleverer, “that syllogism is + clear enough; and though I believe a girl may cling now and then to the + memory of a departed lover, I do not think she will when the memory is + allied with shame. Love is nothing more than vanity pleased; wound the + vanity, and you destroy the love! Lucy will be forced, after having made + so bad a choice of a lover, to make a good one in a husband, in order to + recover her self-esteem!” + </p> + <p> + “And therefore you are certain of her!” said Brandon, ironically. + </p> + <p> + “Thanks to my star,—my garter,—my ancestor, the first baron, + and myself, the first earl,—I hope I am,” said Mauleverer; and the + conversation turned. Mauleverer did not stay much longer with the judge; + and Brandon, left alone, recurred once more to the perusal of his letters. + </p> + <p> + We scarcely know what sensations it would have occasioned in one who had + known Brandon only in his later years, could he have read those letters + referring to so much earlier a date. There was in the keen and arid + character of the man so little that recalled any idea of courtship or + youthful gallantry that a correspondence of that nature would have + appeared almost as unnatural as the loves of plants, or the amatory + softenings of a mineral. The correspondence now before Brandon was + descriptive of various feelings, but all appertaining to the same class; + most of them were apparent answers to letters from him. One while they + replied tenderly to expressions of tenderness, but intimated a doubt + whether the writer would be able to constitute his future happiness, and + atone for certain sacrifices of birth and fortune and ambitious prospects, + to which she alluded: at other times, a vein of latent coquetry seemed to + pervade the style,—an indescribable air of coolness and reserve + contrasted former passages in the correspondence, and was calculated to + convey to the reader an impression that the feelings of the lover were not + altogether adequately returned. Frequently the writer, as if Brandon had + expressed himself sensible of this conviction, reproached him for unjust + jealousy and unworthy suspicion. And the tone of the reproach varied in + each letter; sometimes it was gay and satirizing; at others soft and + expostulatory; at others gravely reasoning, and often haughtily indignant. + Still, throughout the whole correspondence, on the part of the mistress, + there was a sufficient stamp of individuality to give a shrewd examiner + some probable guess at the writer's character. He would have judged her, + perhaps, capable of strong and ardent feeling, but ordinarily of a light + and capricious turn, and seemingly prope to imagine and to resent offence. + With these letters were mingled others in Brandon's writing,—of how + different, of how impassioned a description! All that a deep, proud, + meditative, exacting character could dream of love given, or require of + love returned, was poured burningly over the pages; yet they were full of + reproach, of jealousy, of a nice and torturing observation, as calculated + to wound as the ardour might be fitted to charm; and often the bitter + tendency to disdain that distinguished his temperament broke through the + fondest enthusiasm of courtship or the softest outpourings of love. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “You saw me not yesterday,” he wrote in one letter, “but I saw you; + all day I was by you: you gave not a look which passed me unnoticed; + you made not a movement which I did not chronicle in my memory. + Julia, do you tremble when I tell you this? Yes, if you have a + heart, I know these words would stab it to the core! You may affect + to answer me indignantly! Wise dissembler! it is very skilful, + very, to assume anger when you have no reply. I repeat during the + whole of that party of pleasure (pleasure! well, your tastes, it + must be acknowledged, are exquisite!) which you enjoyed yesterday, + and which you so faintly asked me to share, my eye was on you. You + did not know that I was in the wood when you took the grin of the + incomparable Digby, with so pretty a semblance of alarm at the + moment the snake which my foot disturbed glided across your path. + You did not know I was within hearing of the tent where you made so + agreeable a repast, and from which your laughter sent peals so many + and so numerous. Laughter! O Julia, can you tell me that you love, + and yet be happy, even to mirth, when I am away! Love! O God, how + different a sensation is mine! Mine makes my whole principle of + life! Yours! I tell you that I think at moments I would rather + have your hate than the lukewarm sentiment you bear to me, and + honour by the name of affection.' Pretty phrase! I have no + affection for you! Give me not that sickly word; but try with me, + Julia, to invent some expression that has never filtered a paltry + meaning through the lips of another! Affection! why, that is a + sister's word, a girl's word to her pet squirrel! Never was it made + for that ruby and most ripe mouth! Shall I come to your house this + evening? Your mother has asked me, and you—you heard her, and said + nothing. Oh! but that was maiden reserve, was it? and maiden + reserve caused you to take up a book the moment I left you, as if my + company made but an ordinary amusement instantly to be replaced by + another! When I have seen you, society, books, food, all are + hateful to me; but you, sweet Julia, you can read, can you? Why, + when I left you, I lingered by the parlour window for hours, till + dusk, and you never once lifted your eyes, nor saw me pass and + repass. At least I thought you would have watched my steps when I + left the house; but I err, charming moralist! According to you, + that vigilance would have been meanness.” + </pre> + <p> + In another part of the correspondence a more grave if not a deeper gush of + feeling struggled for expression. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “You say, Julia, that were you to marry one who thinks so much of + what he surrenders for you, and who requires from yourself so vast a + return of love, you should tremble for the future happiness of both + of us. Julia, the triteness of that fear proves that you love not + at all. I do not tremble for our future happiness; on the contrary, + the intensity of my passion for you makes me know that we never can + be happy, never beyond the first rapture of our union. Happiness is + a quiet and tranquil feeling. No feeling that I can possibly bear + to you will ever receive those epithets,—I know that I shall be + wretched and accursed when I am united to you. Start not! I will + presently tell you why. But I do not dream of happiness, neither + (could you fathom one drop of the dark and limitless ocean of my + emotions) would you name to me that word. It is not the mercantile + and callous calculation of chances for 'future felicity' (what + homily supplied you with so choice a term?) that enters into the + heart that cherishes an all-pervading love. Passion looks only to + one object, to nothing beyond; I thirst, I consume, not for + happiness, but you. Were your possession inevitably to lead me to a + gulf of anguish and shame, think you I should covet it one jot the + less! If you carry one thought, one hope, one dim fancy, beyond the + event that makes you mine, you may be more worthy of the esteem of + others, but you are utterly undeserving of my love. + + .................... + + “I will tell you now why I know we cannot be happy. In the first + place, when you say that I am proud of birth, that I am morbidly + ambitious, that I am anxious to shine in the great world, and that + after the first intoxication of love has passed away I shall feel + bitterness against one who has so humbled my pride and darkened my + prospects, I am not sure that you wholly err. But I am sure that + the instant remedy is in your power. Have you patience, Julia, to + listen to a kind of history of myself, or rather of my feelings? If + so, perhaps it may be the best method of explaining all that I would + convey. You will see, then, that my family pride and my worldly + ambition are not founded altogether on those basements which move my + laughter in another; if my feelings thereon are really, however, as + you would insinuate, equal matter for derision, behold, my Julia, I + can laugh equally at them! So pleasant a thing to me is scorn, that + I would rather despise myself than have no one to despise! But to + my narrative! You must know that there are but two of us, sons of a + country squire, of old family, which once possessed large + possessions and something of historical renown. We lived in an old + country-place; my father was a convivial dog, a fox-hunter, a + drunkard, yet in his way a fine gentleman,—and a very disreputable + member of society. The first feelings towards him that I can + remember were those of shame. Not much matter of family pride here, + you will say! True, and that is exactly the reason which made me + cherish family pride elsewhere. My father's house was filled with + guests,—some high and some low; they all united in ridicule of the + host. I soon detected the laughter, and you may imagine that it did + not please me. Meanwhile the old huntsman, whose family was about + as ancient as ours, and whose ancestors had officiated in his + capacity for the ancestors of his master time out of mind, told me + story after story about the Brandons of yore. I turned from the + stories to more legitimate history, and found the legends were + tolerably true. I learned to glow at this discovery; the pride, + humbled when I remembered my sire, revived when I remembered my + ancestors. I became resolved to emulate them, to restore a sunken + name, and vowed a world of nonsense on the subject. The habit of + brooding over these ideas grew on me. I never heard a jest broken + on my paternal guardian, I never caught the maudlin look of his + reeling eyes, nor listened to some exquisite inanity from his + besotted lips, but that my thoughts flew instantly back to the Sir + Charleses and the Sir Roberts of my race, and I comforted myself + with the hope that the present degeneracy should pass away. Hence, + Julia, my family pride; hence, too, another feeling you dislike in + me,—disdain! I first learned to despise my father, the host, and I + then despised my acquaintances, his guests; for I saw, while they + laughed at him, that they flattered, and that their merriment was + not the only thing suffered to feed at his expense. Thus contempt + grew up with me, and I had nothing to check it; for when I looked + around I saw not one living thing that I could respect. This father + of mine had the sense to think I was no idiot. He was proud (poor + man!) of 'my talents,' namely, of prizes won at school, and + congratulatory letters from my masters. He sent me to college. + My mind took a leap there; I will tell you, prettiest, what it was! + Before I went thither I had some fine vague visions about virtue. + I thought to revive my ancestral honours by being good; in short, I + was an embryo King Pepin. I awoke from this dream at the + University. There, for the first time, I perceived the real + consequence of rank. + + “At school, you know, Julia, boys care nothing for a lord. A good + cricketer, an excellent fellow, is worth all the earls in the + peerage. But at college all that ceases; bats and balls sink into + the nothingness in which corals and bells had sunk before. One + grows manly, and worships coronets and carriages. I saw it was a + fine thing to get a prize, but it was ten times a finer thing to get + drunk with a peer. So, when I had done the first, my resolve to be + worthy of my sires made me do the second,—not, indeed, exactly; I + never got drunk: my father disgusted me with that vice betimes. To + his gluttony I owe my vegetable diet, and to his inebriety my + addiction to water. No, I did not get drunk with peers; but I was + just as agreeable to them as if I had been equally embruted. I knew + intimately all the 'Hats' in the University, and I was henceforth + looked up to by the 'Caps,' as if my head had gained the height of + every hat that I knew. + + [At Cambridge the sons of noblemen and the eldest sons of + baronets are allowed to wear hats instead of the academical + cap.] + + But I did not do this immediately. I must tell you two little + anecdotes that first initiated me into the secret of real greatness. + + “The first was this: I was sitting at dinner with some fellows of a + college, grave men and clever. Two of them, not knowing me, were + conversing about me; they heard, they said, that I should never be + so good a fellow as my father,—have such a cellar or keep such a + house. 'I have met six earls there and a marquess,' quoth the other + senior. 'And his son,' returned the first don, 'only keeps company + with sizars, I believe.' 'So then,' said I to myself, 'to deserve + the praise even of clever men, one must have good wines, know plenty + of earls, and forswear sizars.' Nothing could be truer than my + conclusion. + + “Anecdote the second is this: On the day I gained a high university + prize I invited my friends to dine with me. Four of them refused + because they were engaged (they had been asked since I asked them), + —to whom? the richest man at the University. These occurrences, + happening at the same time, threw me into a profound revery. I + awoke, and became a man of the world. I no longer resolved to be + virtuous, and to hunt after the glory of your Romans and your + Athenians,—I resolved to become rich, powerful, and of worldly + repute. + + “I abjured my honest sizars, and as I said before, I courted some + rich 'Hats.' Behold my first grand step in the world! I became the + parasite and the flatterer. What! would my pride suffer this? + Verily, yes, my pride delighted in it; for it soothed my spirit of + contempt to put these fine fellows to my use! It soothed me to see + how easily I could cajole them, and to what a variety of purposes I + could apply even the wearisome disgust of their acquaintance. + Nothing is so foolish as to say the idle great are of no use; they + can be put to any use whatsoever that a wise man is inclined to make + of them. Well, Julia, lo! my character already formed; the family + pride, disdain, and worldly ambition,—there it is for you. After + circumstances only strengthened the impression already made. I + desired, on leaving college, to go abroad; my father had no money to + give me. What signified that? I looked carelessly around for some + wealthier convenience than the paternal board; I found it in a Lord + Mauleverer. He had been at college with me, and I endured him + easily as a companion,—for he had accomplishments, wit, and good- + nature. I made him wish to go abroad, and I made him think he + should die of ennui if I did not accompany him. To his request to + that effect I reluctantly agreed, and saw everything in Europe, + which he neglected to see, at his expense. What amused me the most + was the perception that I, the parasite, was respected by him; and + he, the patron, was ridiculed by me! It would not have been so if I + had depended on 'my virtue.' Well, sweetest Julia, the world, as I + have said, gave to my college experience a sacred authority. I + returned to England; and my father died, leaving to me not a + sixpence, and to my brother an estate so mortgaged that he could not + enjoy it, and so restricted that he could not sell it. It was now + the time for me to profit by the experience I boasted of. I saw + that it was necessary I should take some profession. Professions + are the masks to your pauper-rogue; they give respectability to + cheating, and a diploma to feed upon others. I analyzed my talents, + and looked to the customs of my country; the result was my + resolution to take to the Bar. I had an inexhaustible power of + application; I was keen, shrewd, and audacious. All these qualities + 'tell' at the courts of justice. I kept my legitimate number of + terms; I was called; I went the circuit; I obtained not a brief,— + not a brief, Julia! My health, never robust, gave way beneath study + and irritation. I was ordered to betake myself to the country. I + came to this village, as one both salubrious and obscure. I lodged + in the house of your aunt; you came hither daily,—I saw you,—you + know the rest. But where, all this time, were my noble friends? + you will say. 'Sdeath, since we had left college, they had learned + a little of the wisdom I had then possessed; they were not disposed + to give something for nothing; they had younger brothers, and + cousins, and mistresses, and, for aught I know, children to provide + for. Besides, they had their own expenses; the richer a man is, the + less he has to give. One of them would have bestowed on me a + living, if I had gone into the Church; another, a commission if I + had joined his regiment. But I knew the day was past both for + priest and soldier; and it was not merely to live, no, nor to live + comfortably, but to enjoy power, that I desired; so I declined these + offers. Others of my friends would have been delighted to have kept + me in their house, feasted me, joked with me, rode with me, nothing + more! But I had already the sense to see that if a man dances + himself into distinction, it is never by the steps of attendance. + One must receive favours and court patronage, but it must be with + the air of an independent man. My old friends thus rendered + useless, my legal studies forbade me to make new, nay, they even + estranged me from the old; for people may say what they please about + a similarity of opinions being necessary to friendship,—a + similarity of habits is much more so. It is the man you dine, + breakfast, and lodge with, walk, ride, gamble, or thieve with, that + is your friend; not the man who likes Virgil as well as you do, and + agrees with you in an admiration of Handel. Meanwhile my chief + prey, Lord Mauleverer, was gone; he had taken another man's + Dulcinea, and sought out a bower in Italy. From that time to this I + have never heard of him nor seen him; I know not even his address. + With the exception of a few stray gleanings from my brother, who, + good easy man! I could plunder more, were I not resolved not to + ruin the family stock, I have been thrown on myself; the result is + that, though as clever as my fellows, I have narrowly shunned + starvation,—had my wants been less simple, there would have been no + shunning in the case; but a man is not easily starved who drinks + water, and eats by the ounce. A more effectual fate might have + befallen me. Disappointment, wrath, baffled hope, mortified pride, + all these, which gnawed at my heart, might have consumed it long + ago; I might have fretted away as a garment which the moth eateth, + had it not been for that fund of obstinate and iron hardness which + nature—I beg pardon, there is no nature—circumstance bestowed upon + me. This has borne me up, and will bear me yet through time and + shame and bodily weakness and mental fever, until my ambition has + won a certain height, and my disdain of human pettiness rioted in + the external sources of fortune, as well as an inward fountain of + bitter and self-fed consolation. Yet, oh, Julia! I know not if + even this would have supported me, if at that epoch of life, when I + was most wounded, most stricken in body, most soured in mind, my + heart had not met and fastened itself to yours. I saw you, loved + you; and life became to me a new object. Even now, as I write to + you, all my bitterness, my pride, vanish; everything I have longed + for disappears; my very ambition is gone. I have no hope but for + you, Julia; beautiful, adored Julia! when I love you, I love even my + kind. Oh, you know not the power you possess over me! Do not + betray it; you can yet make me all that my boyhood once dreamed, or + you can harden every thought, feeling, sensation, into stone. + + ................ + + “I was to tell you why I look not for happiness in our union. You + have now seen my nature. You have traced the history of my life, by + tracing the history of my character. You see what I surrender in + gaining you. I do not deny the sacrifice. I surrender the very + essentials of my present mind and soul. I cease to be worldly. I + cannot raise myself, I cannot revive my ancestral name; nay, I shall + relinquish it forever. I shall adopt a disguised appellation. I + shall sink into another grade of life. In some remote village, by + means of some humbler profession than that I now follow, we must + earn our subsistence, and smile at ambition. I tell you frankly, + Julia, when I close the eyes of my heart, when I shut you from my + gaze, this sacrifice appalls me. But even then you force yourself + before me, and I feel that one glance from your eye is more to me + than all. If you could bear with me,—if you could soothe me,—if + when a cloud is on me you could suffer it to pass away unnoticed, + and smile on me the moment it is gone,—O Julia! there would be then + no extreme of poverty, no abasement of fortune, no abandonment of + early dreams which would not seem to me rapture if coupled with the + bliss of knowing that you are mine. Never should my lip, never + should my eye tell you that there is that thing on earth for which I + repine or which I could desire. No, Julia, could I flatter my heart + with this hope, you would not find me dream of unhappiness and you + united. But I tremble, Julia, when I think of your temper and my + own; you will conceive a gloomy look from one never mirthful is an + insult, and you will feel every vent of passion on Fortune or on + others as a reproach to you. Then, too, you cannot enter into my + nature; you cannot descend into its caverns; you cannot behold, much + less can you deign to lull, the exacting and lynx-eyed jealousy that + dwells there. Sweetest Julia! every breath of yours, every touch of + yours, every look of yours, I yearn for beyond all a mother's + longing for the child that has been torn from her for years. Your + head leaned upon an old tree (do you remember it, near ———?), and + I went every day, after seeing you, to kiss it. Do you wonder that + I am jealous? How can I love you as I do and be otherwise! My + whole being is intoxicated with you! + + ................ + + “This then, your pride and mine, your pleasure in the admiration of + others, your lightness, Julia, make me foresee an eternal and + gushing source of torture to my mind. I care not; I care for + nothing so that you are mine, if but for one hour.” + </pre> + <p> + It seems that, despite the strange, sometimes the unloverlike and fiercely + selfish nature of these letters from Brandon, something of a genuine tone + of passion,—perhaps their originality,—aided, no doubt, by + some uttered eloquence of the writer and some treacherous inclination on + the part of the mistress, ultimately conquered; and that a union so little + likely to receive the smile of a prosperous star was at length concluded. + The letter which terminated the correspondence was from Brandon: it was + written on the evening before the marriage, which, it appeared by the same + letter, was to be private and concealed. After a rapturous burst of hope + and joy, it continued thus:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Yes, Julia, I recant my words; I have no belief that you or I shall + ever have cause hereafter for unhappiness. Those eyes that dwelt so + tenderly on mine; that hand whose pressure lingers yet in every + nerve of my frame; those lips turned so coyly, yet, shall I say, + reluctantly from me,—all tell me that you love me; and my fears are + banished. Love, which conquered my nature, will conquer the only + thing I would desire to see altered in yours. Nothing could ever + make me adore you less, though you affect to dread it,—nothing but + a knowledge that you are unworthy of me, that you have a thought for + another; then I should not hate you. No; the privilege of my past + existence would revive; I should revel in a luxury of contempt, I + should despise you, I should mock you, and I should be once more + what I was before I knew you. But why do I talk thus? My bride, + my blessing, forgive me!” + </pre> + <p> + In concluding our extracts from this correspondence, we wish the reader to + note, first, that the love professed by Brandon seems of that vehement and + corporeal nature which, while it is often the least durable, is often the + most susceptible of the fiercest extremes of hatred or even of disgust; + secondly, that the character opened by this sarcastic candour evidently + required in a mistress either an utter devotion or a skilful address; and + thirdly, that we have hinted at such qualities in the fair correspondent + as did not seem sanguinely to promise either of these essentials. + </p> + <p> + While with a curled yet often with a quivering lip the austere and + sarcastic Brandon slowly compelled himself to the task of proceeding + through these monuments of former folly and youthful emotion, the further + elucidation of those events, now rapidly urging on a fatal and dread + catastrophe, spreads before us a narrative occurring many years prior to + the time at which we are at present arrived. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0033" id="link2HCH0033"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXIII. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Clem. Lift the dark veil of years! Behind, what waits? + A human heart. Vast city, where reside + All glories and all vilenesses; while foul, + Yet silent, through the roar of passions rolls + The river of the Darling Sin, and bears + A life and yet a poison on its tide. + .............. + Clem. Thy wife? + + Vict. Avaunt! I've changed that word to “scorn”! + + Clem. Thy child? + + Vict. Ay, that strikes home,—my child, my child! + + Love and Hatred, by ———— +</pre> + <p> + To an obscure town in ------shire there came to reside a young couple, whose + appearance and habits drew towards them from the neighbouring gossips a + more than ordinary attention. They bore the name of Welford. The man + assumed the profession of a solicitor. He came without introduction or + recommendation; his manner of life bespoke poverty; his address was + reserved and even sour; and despite the notice and scrutiny with which he + was regarded, he gained no clients and made no lawsuits. The want of all + those decent charlatanisms which men of every profession are almost + necessitated to employ, and the sudden and unushered nature of his coming + were, perhaps, the cause of this ill-success. “His house was too small,” + people said, “for respectability.” And little good could be got from a + solicitor the very rails round whose door were so sadly in want of + repainting! Then, too, Mrs. Welford made a vast number of enemies. She + was, beyond all expression, beautiful; and there was a certain coquetry in + her manner which showed she was aware of her attractions. All the ladies + of ———- hated her. A few people called on the young + couple. Welford received them coldly; their invitations were unaccepted, + and, what was worse, they were never returned. The devil himself could not + have supported an attorney under such circumstances. Reserved, shabby, + poor, rude, introductionless, a bad house, an unpainted railing, and a + beautiful wife! Nevertheless, though Welford was not employed, he was, as + we have said, watched. On their first arrival, which was in summer, the + young pair were often seen walking together in the fields or groves which + surrounded their home. Sometimes they walked affectionately together, and + it was observed with what care Welford adjusted his wife's cloak or shawl + around her slender shape, as the cool of the evening increased. But often + his arm was withdrawn; he lingered behind, and they continued their walk + or returned homeward in silence and apart. By degrees whispers circulated + throughout the town that the new-married couple lived by no means happily. + The men laid the fault on the stern-looking husband; the women, on the + minx of a wife. However, the solitary servant whom they kept declared that + though Mr. Welford did sometimes frown, and Mrs. Welford did sometimes + weep, they were extremely attached to each other, and only quarrelled + through love. The maid had had four lovers herself, and was possibly + experienced in such matters. They received no visitors, near or from a + distance; and the postman declared he had never seen a letter directed to + either. Thus a kind of mystery hung over the pair, and made them still + more gazed on and still more disliked—which is saying a great deal—than + they would have otherwise been. Poor as Welford was, his air and walk + eminently bespoke what common persons term gentility. And in this he had + greatly the advantage of his beautiful wife, who, though there was + certainly nothing vulgar or plebeian in her aspect, altogether wanted the + refinement of manner, look, and phrase which characterized Welford. For + about two years they lived in this manner, and so frugally and tranquilly + that though Welford had not any visible means of subsistence, no one could + well wonder in what manner they did subsist. About the end of that time + Welford suddenly embarked a small sum in a county speculation. In the + course of this adventure, to the great surprise of his neighbours, he + evinced an extraordinary turn for calculation, and his habits plainly + bespoke a man both of business and ability. This disposal of capital + brought a sufficient return to support the Welfords, if they had been so + disposed, in rather a better style than heretofore. They remained, + however, in much the same state; and the only difference that the event + produced was the retirement of Mr. Welford from the profession he had + embraced. He was no longer a solicitor! It must be allowed that he + resigned no great advantages in this retirement. About this time some + officers were quartered at ———; and one of them, a + handsome lieutenant, was so struck with the charms of Mrs. Welford, whom + he saw at church, that he lost no opportunity of testifying his + admiration. It was maliciously yet not unfoundedly remarked that though no + absolute impropriety could be detected in the manner of Mrs. Welford, she + certainly seemed far from displeased with the evident homage of the young + lieutenant. A blush tinged her cheek when she saw him; and the gallant + coxcomb asserted that the blush was not always without a smile. Emboldened + by the interpretations of his vanity, and contrasting, as every one else + did, his own animated face and glittering garb with the ascetic and gloomy + countenance, the unstudied dress, and austere gait which destroyed in + Welford the effect of a really handsome person, our lieutenant thought fit + to express his passion by a letter, which he conveyed to Mrs. Welford's + pew. Mrs. Welford went not to church that day; the letter was found by a + good-natured neighbour, and inclosed anonymously to the husband. + </p> + <p> + Whatever, in the secrecy of domestic intercourse, took place on this event + was necessarily unknown; but the next Sunday the face of Mr. Welford, + which had never before appeared at church, was discerned by one vigilant + neighbour,—probably the anonymous friend,—not in the same pew + with his wife, but in a remote corner of the sacred house. And once, when + the lieutenant was watching to read in Mrs. Welford's face some answer to + his epistle, the same obliging inspector declared that Welford's + countenance assumed a sardonic and withering sneer that made his very + blood to creep. However this be, the lieutenant left his quarters, and + Mrs. Welford's reputation remained dissatisfactorily untarnished. Shortly + after this the county speculation failed, and it was understood that the + Welfords were about to leave the town, whither none knew,—some said + to jail; but then, unhappily, no debts could be discovered. Their bills + had been “next to nothing;” but, at least, they had been regularly paid. + However, before the rumoured emigration took place, a circumstance equally + wonderful to the good people of occurred. One bright spring morning a + party of pleasure from a great house in the vicinity passed through that + town. Most conspicuous of these was a young horseman, richly dressed, and + of a remarkably showy and handsome appearance. Not a little sensible of + the sensation he created, this cavalier lingered behind his companions in + order to eye more deliberately certain damsels stationed in a window, and + who were quite ready to return his glances with interest. At this moment + the horse, which was fretting itself fiercely against the rein that + restrained it from its fellows, took a fright at a knife-grinder, started + violently to one side, and the graceful cavalier, who had been thinking, + not of the attitude best adapted to preserve his equilibrium, but to + display his figure, was thrown with some force upon a heap of bricks and + rubbish which had long, to the scandal of the neighbourhood, stood before + the paintless railings around Mr. Welford's house. Welford himself came + out at the time, and felt compelled—for he was by no means one whose + sympathetic emotions flowed easily—to give a glance to the condition + of a man who lay motionless before his very door. The horseman quickly + recovered his senses, but found himself unable to rise; one of his legs + was broken. Supported in the arms of his groom, he looked around, and his + eye met Welford's. An instant recognition gave life to the face of the + former, and threw a dark blush over the sullen features of the latter. + </p> + <p> + “Heavens!” said the cavalier, “is that—” + </p> + <p> + “Hist, my lord!” cried Welford, quickly interrupting him, and glancing + round. “But you are hurt,—will you enter my house?” + </p> + <p> + The horseman signified his assent, and, between the groom and Welford, was + borne within the shabby door of the ex-solicitor. The groom was then + despatched with an excuse to the party, many of whom were already + hastening around the house; and though one or two did force themselves + across the inhospitable threshold, yet so soon as they had uttered a few + expletives, and felt their stare sink beneath the sullen and chilling + asperity of the host, they satisfied themselves that though it was d—-d + unlucky for their friend, yet they could do nothing for him at present; + and promising to send to inquire after him the next day, they remounted + and rode homeward, with an eye more attentive than usual to the motion of + their steeds. They did not, however, depart till the surgeon of the town + had made his appearance, and declared that the patient must not on any + account be moved. A lord's leg was a windfall that did not happen every + day to the surgeon of ———-. All this while we may + imagine the state of anxiety experienced in the town, and the agonized + endurance of those rural nerves which are produced in scanty populations, + and have so Taliacotian a sympathy with the affairs of other people. One + day, two days, three days, a week, a fortnight, nay, a month, passed, and + the lord was still the inmate of Mr. Welford's abode. Leaving the gossips + to feed on their curiosity,—“cannibals of their own hearts,”—we + must give a glance towards the interior of the inhospitable mansion of the + ex-solicitor. + </p> + <p> + It was towards evening, the sufferer was supported on a sofa, and the + beautiful Mrs. Welford, who had officiated as his nurse, was placing the + pillow under the shattered limb. He himself was attempting to seize her + hand, which she coyly drew back, and uttering things sweeter and more + polished than she had ever listened to before. At this moment Welford + softly entered; he was unnoticed by either; and he stood at the door + contemplating them with a smile of calm and self-hugging derision. The + face of Mephistopheles regarding Margaret and Faust might suggest some + idea of the picture we design to paint; but the countenance of Welford was + more lofty, as well as comelier, in character, though not less malignant + in expression, than that which the incomparable Retsch has given to the + mocking fiend. So utter, so congratulatory, so lordly was the contempt on + Welford's dark and striking features, that though he was in that situation + in which ridicule usually attaches itself to the husband, it was the + gallant and the wife that would have appeared to the beholder in a + humiliating and unenviable light. + </p> + <p> + After a momentary pause Welford approached with a heavy step. The wife + started; but with a bland and smooth expression, which since his sojourn + in the town of had been rarely visible in his aspect, the host joined the + pair, smiled on the nurse, and congratulated the patient on his progress + towards recovery. The nobleman, well learned in the usages of the world, + replied easily and gayly; and the conversation flowed on cheerfully enough + till the wife, who had sat abstracted and apart, stealing ever and anon + timid glances towards her husband and looks of a softer meaning towards + the patient, retired from the room. Welford then gave a turn to the + conversation; he reminded the nobleman of the pleasant days they had + passed in Italy,—of the adventures they had shared, and the + intrigues they had enjoyed. As the conversation warmed, it assumed a more + free and licentious turn; and not a little, we ween, would the good folks + of ——-have been amazed, could they have listened to the gay + jests and the libertine maxims which flowed from the thin lips of that + cold and severe Welford, whose countenance gave the lie to mirth. Of women + in general they spoke with that lively contempt which is the customary + tone with men of the world; only in Welford it assumed a bitterer, a + deeper, and a more philosophical cast than it did in his more animated yet + less energetic guest. + </p> + <p> + The nobleman seemed charmed with his friend; the conversation was just to + his taste; and when Welford had supported him up to bed, he shook that + person cordially by the hand, and hoped he should soon see him in very + different circumstances. When the peer's door was closed on Welford, he + stood motionless for some moments; he then with a soft step ascended to + his own chamber. His wife slept soundly; beside the bed was the infant's + cradle. As his eyes fell on the latter, the rigid irony, now habitual to + his features, relaxed; he bent over the cradle long and in deep silence. + The mother's face, blended with the sire's, was stamped on the sleeping + and cherub countenance before him; and as at length, rousing from his + revery, he kissed it gently, he murmured,— + </p> + <p> + “When I look on you I will believe that she once loved me. Pah!” he said + abruptly, and rising, “this fatherly sentiment for a ——-'s + offering is exquisite in me!” So saying, without glancing towards his + wife, who, disturbed by the loudness of his last words, stirred uneasily, + he left the room, and descended into that where he had conversed with his + guest. He shut the door with caution, and striding to and fro the humble + apartment, gave vent to thoughts marshalled somewhat in the broken array + in which they now appear to the reader:— + </p> + <p> + “Ay, ay, she has been my ruin! and if I were one of your weak fools who + make a gospel of the silliest and most mawkish follies of this social + state, she would now be my disgrace; but instead of my disgrace, I will + make her my footstool to honour and wealth. And, then, to the devil with + the footstool! Yes! two years I have borne what was enough to turn my + whole blood into gall,—inactivity, hopelessness, a wasted heart and + life in myself; contumely from the world; coldness, bickering, ingratitude + from the one for whom (oh, ass that I was!) I gave up the most cherished + part of my nature,—rather, my nature itself! Two years I have borne + this, and now will I have my revenge. I will sell her,—sell her! + God! I will sell her like the commonest beast of a market! And this paltry + piece of false coin shall buy me—my world! Other men's vengeance + comes from hatred,—a base, rash, unphilosophical sentiment! mine + comes from scorn,—the only wise state for the reason to rest in. + Other men's vengeance ruins themselves; mine shall save me! Ha! how my + soul chuckles when I look at this pitiful pair, who think I see them not, + and know that every movement they make is on a mesh of my web! Yet,” and + Welford paused slowly,—“yet I cannot but mock myself when I think of + the arch gull that this boy's madness, love,—love, indeed! the very + word turns me sick with loathing,—made of me. Had that woman, silly, + weak, automatal as she is, really loved me; had she been sensible of the + unspeakable sacrifice I had made to her (Antony's was nothing to it,—he + lost a real world only; mine was the world of imagination); had she but + condescended to learn my nature, to subdue the woman's devil at her own,—I + could have lived on in this babbling hermitage forever, and fancied myself + happy and resigned,—I could have become a different being. I fancy I + could have become what your moralists (quacks!) call 'good.' But this + fretting frivolity of heart, this lust of fool's praise, this peevishness + of temper, this sullenness in answer to the moody thought, which in me she + neither fathomed nor forgave, this vulgar, daily, hourly pining at the + paltry pinches of the body's poverty, the domestic whine, the household + complaint,—when I—I have not a thought for such pitiful trials + of affection; and all this while my curses, my buried hope and disguised + spirit and sunken name not thought of; the magnitude of my surrender to + her not even comprehended; nay, her 'inconveniences'—a dim hearth, I + suppose, or a daintiless table—compared, ay, absolutely compared, + with all which I abandoned for her sake! As if it were not enough,—had + I been a fool, an ambitionless, soulless fool,-the mere thought that I had + linked my name to that of a tradesman,—I beg pardon, a retired + tradesman!—as if that knowledge—a knowledge I would strangle + my whole race, every one who has ever met, seen me, rather than they + should penetrate—were not enough, when she talks of 'comparing,' to + make me gnaw the very flesh from my bones! No, no, no! Never was there so + bright a turn in my fate as when this titled coxcomb, with his smooth + voice and gaudy fripperies, came hither! I will make her a tool to carve + my escape from this cavern wherein she has plunged me. I will foment 'my + lord's' passion, till 'my lord' thinks 'the passion' (a butterfly's + passion!) worth any price. I will then make my own terms, bind 'my lord' + to secrecy, and get rid of my wife, my shame, and the obscurity of Mr. + Welford forever. Bright, bright prospects! let me shut my eyes to enjoy + you! But softly! my noble friend calls himself a man of the world, skilled + in human nature, and a derider of its prejudices; true enough, in his own + little way—thanks not to enlarged views, but a vicious experience—so + he is! The book of the world is a vast miscellany; he is perfectly well + acquainted, doubtless, with those pages that treat of the fashions,—profoundly + versed, I warrant, in the 'Magasin des Modes' tacked to the end of the + index. But shall I, even with all the mastership which my mind must + exercise over his,—shall I be able utterly to free myself in this + 'peer of the world's' mind from a degrading remembrance? Cuckold! cuckold! + 't is an ugly word; a convenient, willing cuckold, humph!—there is + no grandeur, no philosophical varnish in the phrase. Let me see—yes! + I have a remedy for all that. I was married privately,—well! under + disguised names,—well! It was a stolen marriage, far from her town,—well! + witnesses unknown to her,—well! proofs easily secured to my + possession,—excellent! The fool shall believe it a forged marriage, + an ingenious gallantry of mine; I will wash out the stain cuckold with the + water of another word; I will make market of a mistress, not a wife. I + will warn him not to acquaint her with this secret; let me consider for + what reason,—oh! my son's legitimacy may be convenient to me + hereafter. He will understand that reason, and I will have his 'honour' + thereon. And by the way, I do care for that legitimacy, and will guard the + proofs. I love my child,—ambitious men do love their children. I may + become a lord myself, and may wish for a lord to succeed me; and that son + is mine, thank Heaven! I am sure on that point,—the only child, too, + that ever shall arise to me. Never, I swear, will I again put myself + beyond my own power! All my nature, save one passion, I have hitherto + mastered; that passion shall henceforth be my slave, my only thought be + ambition, my only mistress be the world!” + </p> + <p> + As thus terminated the revery of a man whom the social circumstances of + the world were calculated, as if by system, to render eminently and basely + wicked, Welford slowly ascended the stairs, and re-entered his chamber. + His wife was still sleeping. Her beauty was of the fair and girlish and + harmonized order, which lovers and poets would express by the word + “angelic;” and as Welford looked upon her face, hushed and almost hallowed + by slumber, a certain weakness and irresolution might have been + discernible in the strong lines of his haughty features. At that moment, + as if forever to destroy the return of hope or virtue to either, her lips + moved, they uttered one word,—it was the name of Welford's courtly + guest. + </p> + <p> + About three weeks from that evening Mrs. Welford eloped with the young + nobleman, and on the morning following that event the distracted husband + with his child disappeared forever from the town of ——-. From + that day no tidings whatsoever respecting him ever reached the titillated + ears of his anxious neighbours; and doubt, curiosity, discussion, + gradually settled into the belief that his despair had hurried him into + suicide. + </p> + <p> + Although the unfortunate Mrs. Welford was in reality of a light and + frivolous turn, and, above all, susceptible to personal vanity, she was + not without ardent affections and keen sensibilities. Her marriage had + been one of love,—that is to say, on her part, the ordinary love of + girls, who love not through actual and natural feeling so much as forced + predisposition. Her choice had fallen on one superior to herself in birth, + and far above all, in person and address, whom she had habitually met. + Thus her vanity had assisted her affection, and something strange and + eccentric in the temper and mind of Welford had, though at times it + aroused her fear, greatly contributed to inflame her imagination. Then, + too, though an uncourtly, he had been a passionate and a romantic lover. + She was sensible that he gave up for her much that he had previously + conceived necessary to his existence; and she stopped not to inquire how + far this devotion was likely to last, or what conduct on her part might + best perpetuate the feelings from which it sprang. She had eloped with + him. She had consented to a private marriage. She had passed one happy + month, and then delusion vanished! Mrs. Welford was not a woman who could + give to reality, or find in it, the charm equal to delusion. She was + perfectly unable to comprehend the intricate and dangerous character of + her husband. + </p> + <p> + She had not the key to his virtues, nor the spell for his vices. Neither + was the state to which poverty compelled them one well calculated for that + tender meditation, heightened by absence and cherished in indolence, which + so often supplies one who loves with the secret to the nature of the one + beloved. Though not equal to her husband in birth or early prospects, Mrs. + Welford had been accustomed to certain comforts, often more felt by those + who belong to the inferior classes than by those appertaining to the more + elevated, who in losing one luxury will often cheerfully surrender all. A + fine lady can submit to more hardships than her woman; and every gentleman + who travels smiles at the privations which agonize his valet. Poverty and + its grim comrades made way for a whole host of petty irritations and + peevish complaints; and as no guest or visitor ever relieved the domestic + discontent, or broke on the domestic bickering, they generally ended in + that moody sullenness which so often finds love a grave in repentance. + Nothing makes people tire of each other like a familiarity that admits of + carelessness in quarrelling and coarseness in complaining. The biting + sneer of Welford gave acrimony to the murmur of his wife; and when once + each conceived the other the injurer, or him or herself the wronged, it + was vain to hope that one would be more wary, or the other more indulgent. + They both exacted too much, and the wife in especial conceded too little. + Mrs. Welford was altogether and emphatically what a libertine calls “a + woman,”—such as a frivolous education makes a woman,—generous + in great things, petty in small; vain, irritable, full of the littleness + of herself and her complaints, ready to plunge into an abyss with her + lover, but equally ready to fret away all love with reproaches when the + plunge had been made. Of all men, Welford could bear this the least. A + woman of a larger heart, a more settled experience, and an intellect + capable of appreciating his character and sounding all his qualities, + might have made him perhaps a useful and a great man, and, at least, her + lover for life. Amidst a harvest of evil feelings the mere strength of his + nature rendered him especially capable of intense feeling and generous + emotion. One who relied on him was safe; one who rebelled against him + trusted only to the caprice of his scorn. Still, however, for two years, + love, though weakening with each hour, fought on in either breast, and + could scarcely be said to be entirely vanquished in the wife, even when + she eloped with her handsome seducer. A French writer has said pithily + enough: “Compare for a moment the apathy of a husband with the attention, + the gallantry, the adoration of a lover, and can you ask the result?” He + was a French writer; but Mrs. Welford had in her temper much of the + Frenchwoman. A suffering patient, young, handsome, well versed in the arts + of intrigue, contrasted with a gloomy husband whom she had never + comprehended, long feared, and had lately doubted if she disliked,—ah! + a much weaker contrast has made many a much better woman food for the + lawyers! Mrs. Welford eloped; but she felt a revived tenderness for her + husband on the very morning that she did so. She carried away with her his + letters of love as well as her own, which when they first married she had + in an hour of fondness collected together,—then an inestimable + board!—and never did her new lover receive from her beautiful lips + half so passionate a kiss as she left on the cheek of her infant. For some + months she enjoyed with her paramour all for which she had sighed in her + home. The one for whom she had forsaken her legitimate ties was a person + so habitually cheerful, courteous, and what is ordinarily termed + “good-natured” (though he had in him as much of the essence of selfishness + as any nobleman can decently have), that he continued gallant to her + without an effort long after he had begun to think it possible to tire + even of so lovely a face. Yet there were moments when the fickle wife + recalled her husband with regret, and contrasting him with her seducer, + did not find all the colourings of the contrast flattering to the latter. + There is something in a powerful and marked character which women and all + weak natures feel themselves constrained to respect; and Welford's + character thus stood in bold and therefore advantageous though gloomy + relief when opposed to the levities and foibles of this guilty woman's + present adorer. However this be, the die was cast; and it would have been + policy for the lady to have made the best of her present game. But she who + had murmured as a wife was not complaisant as a mistress. Reproaches made + an interlude to caresses, which the noble lover by no means admired. He + was not a man to retort, he was too indolent; but neither was he one to + forbear. “My charming friend,” said he one day, after a scene, “you weary + of me,—nothing more natural! Why torment each other? You say I have + ruined you; my sweet friend, let me make you reparation. Become + independent; I will settle an annuity upon you; fly me,—seek + happiness elsewhere, and leave your unfortunate, your despairing lover to + his fate.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you taunt me, my lord?” cried the angry fair; “or do you believe that + money can replace the rights of which you have robbed me? Can you make me + again a wife,—a happy, a respected wife? Do this, my lord, and you + atone to me!” + </p> + <p> + The nobleman smiled, and shrugged his shoulders. The lady yet more angrily + repeated her question. The lover answered by an innuendo, which at once + astonished and doubly enraged her. She eagerly demanded explanation; and + his lordship, who had gone further than he intended, left the room. But + his words had sunk deep into the breast of this unhappy woman, and she + resolved to procure an elucidation. Agreeably to the policy which stripped + the fabled traveller of his cloak, she laid aside the storm and preferred + the sunshine: she watched a moment of tenderness, turned the opportunity + to advantage, and by little and little she possessed herself of a secret + which sickened her with shame, disgust, and dismay. Sold! bartered! the + object of a contemptuous huxtering to the purchaser and the seller, sold, + too, with a lie that debased her at once into an object for whom even pity + was mixed with scorn! Robbed already of the name and honour of a wife, and + transferred as a harlot from the wearied arms of one leman to the + capricious caresses of another! Such was the image that rose before her; + and while it roused at one moment all her fiercer passions into madness, + humbled, with the next, her vanity into the dust. She, who knew the ruling + passion of Welford, saw at a glance the object of scorn and derision which + she had become to him. While she imagined herself the betrayer, she had + been betrayed; she saw vividly before her (and shuddered as she saw) her + husband's icy smile, his serpent eye, his features steeped in sarcasm, and + all his mocking soul stamped upon the countenance, whose lightest derision + was so galling. She turned from this picture, and saw the courtly face of + the purchaser,—his subdued smile at her reproaches,—his latent + sneer at her claims to a station which he had been taught by the arch + plotter to believe she had never possessed. She saw his early weariness of + her attractions, expressed with respect indeed,—an insulting + respect,—but felt without a scruple of remorse. She saw in either—as + around—only a reciprocation of contempt. She was in a web of + profound abasement. Even that haughty grief of conscience for crime + committed to another, which if it stings humbles not, was swallowed up in + a far more agonizing sensation, to one so vain as the adulteress,—the + burning sense of shame at having herself, while sinning, been the duped + and deceived. Her very soul was appalled with her humiliation. The curse + of Welford's vengeance was on her, and it was wreaked to the last! + Whatever kindly sentiment she might have experienced towards her + protector, was swallowed up at once by this discovery. She could not + endure the thought of meeting the eye of one who had been the gainer by + this ignominious barter; the foibles and weaknesses of the lover assumed a + despicable as well as hateful dye. And in feeling herself degraded, she + loathed him. The day after she had made the discovery we have referred to, + Mrs. Welford left the house of her protector, none knew whither. For two + years from that date, all trace of her history was lost. At the end of + that time what was Welford? A man rapidly rising in the world, + distinguished at the Bar, where his first brief had lifted him into + notice, commencing a flattering career in the senate, holding lucrative + and honourable offices, esteemed for the austere rectitude of his moral + character, gathering the golden opinions of all men, as he strode onward + to public reputation. He had re-assumed his hereditary name; his early + history was unknown; and no one in the obscure and distant town of ——— + had ever guessed that the humble Welford was the William Brandon whose + praise was echoed in so many journals, and whose rising genius was + acknowledged by all. That asperity, roughness, and gloom which had noted + him at ———, and which, being natural to him, he deigned + not to disguise in a station ungenial to his talents and below his hopes, + were now glitteringly varnished over by an hypocrisy well calculated to + aid his ambition. So learnedly could this singular man fit himself to + others that few among the great met him as a companion, nor left him + without the temper to become his friend. Through his noble rival—that + is (to make our reader's “surety doubly sure”), through Lord Mauleverer—he + had acquired his first lucrative office, a certain patronage from + government, and his seat in parliament. If he had persevered at the Bar + rather than given himself entirely to State intrigues, it was only because + his talents were eminently more calculated to advance him in the former + path to honour than in the latter. So devoted was he become to public life + that he had only permitted himself to cherish one private source of + enjoyment,—his son. As no one, not even his brother, knew he had + been married (during the two years of his disguised name, he had been + supposed abroad), the appearance of this son made the only piece of + scandal whispered against the rigid morality of his fair fame; but he + himself, waiting his own time for avowing a legitimate heir, gave out that + it was the orphan child of a dear friend whom he had known abroad; and the + puritan demureness not only of life, but manner, which he assumed, gained + a pretty large belief to the statement. This son Brandon idolized. As we + have represented himself to say, ambitious men are commonly fond of their + children, beyond the fondness of other sires. The perpetual reference + which the ambitious make to posterity is perhaps the main reason. But + Brandon was also fond of children generally; philoprogenitiveness was a + marked trait in his character, and would seem to belie the hardness and + artifice belonging to that character, were not the same love so frequently + noticeable in the harsh and the artificial. It seems as if a + half-conscious but pleasing feeling that they too were once gentle and + innocent, makes them delight in reviving any sympathy with their early + state. + </p> + <p> + Often after the applause and labour of the day, Brandon would repair to + his son's chamber and watch his slumber for hours; often before his + morning toil commenced, he would nurse the infant in his arms with all a + woman's natural tenderness and gushing joy; and often, as a graver and + more characteristic sentiment stole over him, he would mentally say, “You + shall build up our broken name on a better foundation than your sire. I + begin too late in life, and I labour up a painful and stony road; but I + shall make the journey to Fame smooth and accessible for you. Never, too, + while you aspire to honour, shall you steel your heart to tranquillity. + For you, my child, shall be the joys of home and love, and a mind that + does not sicken at the past, and strain, through mere forgetfulness, + towards a solitary and barren distinction for the future. Not only what + your father gains you shall enjoy, but what has cursed him his vigilance + shall lead you to shun!” + </p> + <p> + It was thus not only that his softer feelings, but all the better and + nobler ones, which even in the worst and hardest bosom find some root, + turned towards his child, and that the hollow and vicious man promised to + become the affectionate and perhaps the wise parent. + </p> + <p> + One night Brandon was returning home on foot from a ministerial dinner. + The night was frosty and clear, the hour was late, and his way lay through + the longest and best-lighted streets of the metropolis. He was, as usual, + buried in thought, when he was suddenly aroused from his revery by a light + touch laid on his arm. He turned, and saw one of the unhappy persons who + haunt the midnight streets of cities, standing right before his path. The + gaze of each fell upon the other; and it was thus, for the first time + since they laid their heads on the same pillow, that the husband met the + wife. The skies were intensely clear, and the lamplight was bright and + calm upon the faces of both. There was no doubt in the mind of either. + Suddenly, and with a startled and ghastly consciousuess, they recognized + each other. The wife staggered, and clung to a post for support; Brandon's + look was calm and unmoved. The hour that his bitter and malignant spirit + had yearned for was come; his nerves expanded in a voluptuous calmness, as + if to give him a deliberate enjoyment of his hope fulfilled. Whatever the + words that in that unwitnessed and almost awful interview passed between + them, we may be sure that Brandon spared not one atom of his power. The + lost and abandoned wife returned home; and all her nature, embruted as it + had become by guilt and vile habits, hardened into revenge,—that + preternatural feeling which may be termed the hope of despair. + </p> + <p> + Three nights from that meeting Brandon's house was broken into. Like the + houses of many legal men, it lay in a dangerous and thinly populated + outskirt of the town, and was easily accessible to robbery. He was + awakened by a noise; he started, and found himself in the grasp of two + men. At the foot of the bed stood a female, raising a light; and her face, + haggard with searing passions, and ghastly with the leprous whiteness of + disease and approaching death, glared full upon him. + </p> + <p> + “It is now my turn,” said the female, with a grin of scorn which Brandon + himself might have envied; “you have cursed me, and I return the curse! + You have told me that my child shall never name me but to blush. Fool! I + triumph over you; you he shall never know to his dying day! You have told + me that to my child and my child's child (a long transmission of + execration) my name—the name of the wife you basely sold to ruin and + to hell—should be left as a legacy of odium and shame! Man, you + shall teach that child no further lesson whatever: you shall know not + whether he live or die, or have children to carry on your boasted race; or + whether, if he have, those children be not outcasts of the earth, the + accursed of man and God, the fit offspring of the thing you have made me. + Wretch! I hurl back on you the denunciation with which, when we met three + nights since, you would have crushed the victim of your own perfidy. You + shall tread the path of your ambition childless and objectless and + hopeless. Disease shall set her stamp upon your frame. The worm shall + batten upon your heart. You shall have honours and enjoy them not; you + shall gain your ambition, and despair; you shall pine for your son, and + find him not; or, if you find him, you shall curse the hour in which he + was born. Mark me, man,—I am dying while I speak,—I know that + I am a prophet in my curse. From this hour I am avenged, and you are my + scorn!” + </p> + <p> + As the hardest natures sink appalled before the stony eye of the maniac, + so, in the dead of the night, pinioned by ruffians, the wild and solemn + voice, sharpened by passion and partial madness, of the ghastly figure + before him curdling through his veins, even the haughty and daring + character of William Brandon quailed! He uttered not a word. He was found + the next morning bound by strong cords to his bed. He spoke not when he + was released, but went in silence to his child's chamber,—the child + was gone! Several articles of property were also stolen; the desperate + tools the mother had employed worked not perhaps without their own reward. + </p> + <p> + We need scarcely add that Brandon set every engine and channel of justice + in motion for the discovery of his son. All the especial shrewdness and + keenness of his own character, aided by his professional experience, he + employed for years in the same pursuit. Every research was wholly in vain; + not the remotest vestige towards discovery could be traced until were + found (we have recorded when) some of the articles that had been stolen. + Fate treasured in her gloomy womb, altogether undescried by man, the hour + and the scene in which the most ardent wish of William Brandon was to be + realized. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0034" id="link2HCH0034"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXIV. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + O Fortuna, viris invida fortibus + Quam non aqua bonis praemia dividis. + SENECA. + ............ + And as a hare, whom hounds and horns pursue, + Pants to the place from whence at first he flew. + ............ + Here, to the houseless child of want, + My door is open still. + GOLDSMITH. +</pre> + <p> + Slowly for Lucy waned the weeks of a winter which to her was the most + dreary portion of life she had ever passed. It became the time for the + judge to attend one of those periodical visitations so fraught with dread + and dismay to the miserable inmates of the dark abodes which the complex + laws of this country so bounteously supply,—those times of great + hilarity and eating to the legal gentry,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Who feed on crimes and fatten on distress, + And wring vile mirth from suffering's last excess.” + </pre> + <p> + Ah! excellent order of the world, which it is so wicked to disturb! How + miraculously beautiful must be that system which makes wine out of the + scorching tears of guilt; and from the suffocating suspense, the agonized + fear, the compelled and self-mocking bravery, the awful sentence, the + despairing death-pang of one man, furnishes the smirking expectation of + fees, the jovial meeting, and the mercenary holiday to another! “Of Law, + nothing less can be said than that her seat is the bosom of God.”—[Hooker's + Ecclesiastical Polity.]—To be sure not; Richard Hooker, you are + perfectly right. The divinity of a sessions and the inspiration of the Old + Bailey are undeniable! + </p> + <p> + The care of Sir William Brandon had effectually kept from Lucy's ear the + knowledge of her lover's ignominious situation. Indeed, in her delicate + health even the hard eye of Brandon and the thoughtless glance of + Mauleverer perceived the danger of such a discovery. The earl, now waiting + the main attack on Lucy till the curtain had forever dropped on Clifford, + proceeded with great caution and delicacy in his suit to his purposed + bride. He waited with the more patience inasmuch as he had drawn in + advance on his friend Sir William for some portion of the heiress's + fortune; and he readily allowed that he could not in the mean while have a + better advocate than he found in Brandon. So persuasive, indeed, and so + subtle was the eloquence of this able sophist, that often in his artful + conversations with his niece he left even on the unvitiated and strong + though simple mind of Lucy an uneasy and restless impression, which time + might have ripened into an inclination towards the worldly advantages of + the marriage at her command. Brandon was no bungling mediator or violent + persecutor. He seemed to acquiesce in her rejection of Mauleverer. He + scarcely recurred to the event. He rarely praised the earl himself, save + for the obvious qualities of liveliness and good-nature. But he spoke, + with all the vivid colours he could infuse at will into his words, of the + pleasures and the duties of rank and wealth. Well could he appeal alike to + all the prejudices and all the foibles of the human breast, and govern + virtue through its weaknesses. Lucy had been brought up, like the + daughters of most country gentlemen of ancient family, in an undue and + idle consciousness of superior birth; and she was far from inaccessible to + the warmth and even feeling (for here Brandon was sincere) with which her + uncle spoke of the duty of raising a gallant name sunk into disrepute, and + sacrificing our own inclination for the redecorating the mouldered + splendour of those who have gone before us. If the confusion of idea + occasioned by a vague pomposity of phrase, or the infant inculcation of a + sentiment that is mistaken for a virtue, so often makes fools of the wise + on the subject of ancestry; if it clouded even the sarcastic and keen + sense of Brandon himself, we may forgive its influence over a girl so + little versed in the arts of sound reasoning as poor Lucy, who, it may be + said, had never learned to think until she had learned to love. However, + the impression made by Brandon, in his happiest moments of persuasion, was + as yet only transient; it vanished before the first thought of Clifford, + and never suggested to her even a doubt as to the suit of Mauleverer. + </p> + <p> + When the day arrived for Sir William Brandon to set out on the circuit, he + called Barlow, and enjoined on that acute and intelligent servant the + strictest caution with respect to Lucy. He bade him deny her to every one, + of whatever rank, and carefully to look into every newspaper that was + brought to her, as well as to withhold every letter, save such as were + addressed to her in the judge's own handwriting. Lucy's maid Brandon had + already won over to silence; and the uncle now pleased himself with + thinking that he had put an effectual guard to every chance of discovery. + The identity of Lovett with Clifford had not yet even been rumoured; and + Mauleverer had rightly judged of Clifford, when he believed the prisoner + would himself take every precaution against the detection of that fact. + Clifford answered the earl's note, and promised, in a letter couched in so + affecting yet so manly a tone of gratitude that even Brandon was touched + when he read it. And since his confinement and partial recovery of health, + the prisoner had kept himself closely secluded, and refused all visitors. + Encouraged by this reflection, and the belief in the safety of his + precautions, Brandon took leave of Lucy. “Farewell!” said he, as he + embraced her affectionately. “Be sure that you write to me, and forgive me + if I do not answer you punctually. Take care of yourself, my sweet niece, + and let me see a fresher colour on that soft cheek when I return!” + </p> + <p> + “Take care of yourself rather, my dear, dear uncle,” said Lucy, clinging + to him and weeping, as of late her weakened nerves caused her to do at the + least agitation. “Why may I not go with you? You have seemed to me paler + than usual the last three or four days, and you complained yesterday. Do + let me go with you. I will be no trouble, none at all; but I am sure you + require a nurse.” + </p> + <p> + “You want to frighten me, my pretty Lucy,” said Brandon, shaking his head + with a smile. “I am well, very well. I felt a strange rush of blood + towards the head yesterday, it is true; but I feel to-day stronger and + lighter than I have done for years. Once more, God bless you, my child!” + </p> + <p> + And Brandon tore himself away, and commenced his journey. + </p> + <p> + The wandering and dramatic course of our story now conducts us to an + obscure lane in the metropolis, leading to the Thames, and makes us + spectators of an affecting farewell between two persons, whom the + injustice of fate and the persecutions of men were about perhaps forever + to divide. + </p> + <p> + “Adieu, my friend!” said Augustus Tomlinson, as he stood looking full on + that segment of the face of Edward Pepper which was left unconcealed by a + huge hat and a red belcher handkerchief. Tomlinson himself was attired in + the full costume of a dignified clergyman. “Adieu, my friend, since you + will remain in England,—adieu! I am, I exult to say, no less sincere + a patriot than you. Heaven be my witness, how long I looked repugnantly on + poor Lovett's proposal to quit my beloved country. But all hope of life + here is now over; and really, during the last ten days I have been so + hunted from corner to corner, so plagued with polite invitations, similar + to those given by a farmer's wife to her ducks, 'Dilly, dilly, dilly, come + and be killed!' that my patriotism has been prodigiously cooled, and I no + longer recoil from thoughts of self-banishment. 'The earth,' my dear Ned, + as a Greek sage has very well observed,—'the earth is the same + everywhere!' and if I am asked for my home, I can point, like Anaxagoras, + to heaven!” + </p> + <p> + “'Pon my soul, you affect me!” said Ned, speaking thick, either from grief + or the pressure of the belcher handkerchief on his mouth; “it is quite + beautiful to hear you talk!” + </p> + <p> + “Bear up, my dear friend,” continued Tomlinson; “bear up against your + present afflictions. What, to a man who fortifies himself by reason and by + reflection on the shortness of life, are the little calamities of the + body? What is imprisonment or persecution or cold or hunger? By the by, + you did not forget to put the sandwiches into my coat-pocket!” + </p> + <p> + “Hush!” whispered Ned, and he moved on involuntarily; “I see a man at the + other end of the street.” + </p> + <p> + “Let us quicken our pace,” said Tomlinson; and the pair proceeded towards + the river. + </p> + <p> + “And now,” began Ned, who thought he might as well say something about + himself; for hitherto Augustus, in the ardour of his friendship, had been + only discussing his own plans,—“and now,—that is to say, when + I leave you,—I shall hasten to dive for shelter, until the storm + blows over. I don't much like living in a cellar and wearing a smock + frock; but those concealments have something interesting in them, after + all! The safest and snuggest place I know of is the Pays Bas, about Thames + Court; so I think of hiring an apartment underground, and taking my meals + at poor Lovett's old quarters, the Mug,—the police will never dream + of looking in these vulgar haunts for a man of my fashion.” + </p> + <p> + “You cannot then tear yourself from England?” said Tomlinson. + </p> + <p> + “No, hang it! the fellows are so cursed unmanly on the other side of the + water. I hate their wine and their parley woo. Besides, there is no fun + there.” + </p> + <p> + Tomlinson, who was absorbed in his own thoughts, made no comment on his + friend's excellent reasons against travel; and the pair now approached the + brink of the river. A boat was in waiting to receive and conduct to the + vessel in which he had taken his place for Calais the illustrious + emigrant. But as Tomlinson's eye fell suddenly on the rude boatmen and the + little boat which were to bear him away from his native land; as he + glanced, too, across the blue waters, which a brisk wind wildly agitated, + and thought how much rougher it would be at sea, where “his soul” + invariably “sickened at the heaving wave,”—a whole tide of deep and + sorrowful emotions rushed upon him. + </p> + <p> + He turned away. The spot on which he stood was a piece of ground to be let + (as a board proclaimed) upon a building lease; below, descended the steps + which were to conduct him to the boat; around, the desolate space allowed + him to see in far and broad extent the spires and domes and chimneys of + the great city whose inhabitants he might never plunder more. As he looked + and looked, the tears started to his eyes, and with a gust of enthusiasm, + little consonant with his temperate and philosophical character, he lifted + his right hand from his black breeches-pocket, and burst into the + following farewell to the metropolis of his native shores:— + </p> + <p> + “Farewell, my beloved London, farewell! Where shall I ever find a city + like you? Never, till now, did I feel how inexpressibly dear you were to + me. You have been my father and my brother and my mistress and my tailor + and my shoemaker and my hatter and my cook and my wine-merchant! You and I + never misunderstood each other. I did not grumble when I saw what fine + houses and good strong boxes you gave to other men. No! I rejoiced at + their prosperity. I delighted to see a rich man,—my only + disappointment was in stumbling on a poor one. You gave riches to my + neighbours; but, O generous London, you gave those neighbours to me! + Magnificent streets, all Christian virtues abide within you! Charity is as + common as smoke! Where, in what corner of the habitable world, shall I + find human beings with so many superfluities? Where shall I so easily + decoy, from benevolent credulity, those superfluities to myself? Heaven + only knows, my dear, dear, darling London, what I lose in you! O public + charities! O public institutions! O banks that belie mathematical axioms + and make lots out of nothing! O ancient constitution always to be + questioned! O modern improvements that never answer! O speculations! O + companies! O usury laws which guard against usurers, by making as many as + possible! O churches in which no one profits, save the parson, and the old + women that let pews of an evening! O superb theatres, too small for parks, + too enormous for houses, which exclude comedy and comfort, and have a + monopoly for performing nonsense gigantically! O houses of plaster, built + in a day! O palaces four yards high, with a dome in the middle, meant to + be invisible! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [We must not suppose this apostrophe to be an anachronism. + Tomlinson, Of course, refers to some palace of his day; one of the + boxes—Christmas boxes—given to the king by his economical nation + of shopkeepers. We suppose it is either pulled down or blown down + long ago; it is doubtless forgotten by this time, except by + antiquaries. Nothing is so ephemeral as great houses built by the + people. Your kings play the deuce with their playthings!] +</pre> + <p> + “O shops worth thousands, and O shopkeepers not worth a shilling! O system + of credit by which beggars are princes, and princes are beggars! O + imprisonment for debt, which lets the mare be stolen, and then locks up + the bridle! O sharpers, bubbles, senators, beaux, taverns, brothels, + clubs, houses private and public!—-O LONDON, in a word, receive my + last adieu! Long may you flourish in peace and plenteousness! May your + knaves be witty, and your fools be rich! May you alter only two things,—your + damnable tricks of transportation and hanging! Those are your sole faults; + but for those I would never desert you. Adieu!” + </p> + <p> + Here Tomlinson averted his head, and then hastily shaking the hand of Long + Ned with a tremulous and warm grasp, he hurried down the stairs and + entered the boat. Ned remained motionless for some moments, following him + with his eyes as he sat at the end of the boat, waving a white + pocket-handkerchief. At length a line of barges snatched him from the + sight of the lingerer; and Ned, slowly turning away, muttered,—“Yes, + I have always heard that Dame Lobkins's was the safest asylum for + misfortune like mine. I will go forthwith in search of a lodging, and + to-morrow I will make my breakfast at the Mug!” + </p> + <p> + Be it our pleasing task, dear reader, to forestall the good robber, and + return, at the hour of sunrise on the day following Tomlinson's departure, + to the scene at which our story commenced. We are now once more at the + house of Mrs. Margery Lobkins. + </p> + <p> + The room which served so many purposes was still the same as when Paul + turned it into the arena of his mischievous pranks. The dresser, with its + shelves of mingled delf and pewter, occupied its ancient and important + station. Only it might be noticed that the pewter was more dull than of + yore, and that sundry cracks made their erratic wanderings over the yellow + surface of the delf. The eye of the mistress had become less keen than + heretofore, and the care of the hand maid had, of necessity, relaxed. The + tall clock still ticked in monotonous warning; the blanket-screen, haply + innocent of soap since we last described it, many-storied and + polyballaded, still unfolded its ample leaves “rich with the spoils of + time;” the spit and the musket yet hung from the wall in amicable + proximation. And the long, smooth form, “with many a holy text thereon + bestrewn,” still afforded rest to the weary traveller, and an object to + the vacant stare of Mrs. Margery Lobkins, as she lolled in her opposite + seat and forgot the world. But poor Piggy Lob!—-there was the + alteration! The soul of the woman was gone; the spirit had evaporated from + the human bottle! She sat, with open mouth and glassy eye, in her chair, + sidling herself to and fro, with the low, peevish sound of fretful age and + bodily pain; sometimes this querulous murmur sharpened into a shrill but + unmeaning scold: “There now, you gallows-bird! you has taken the swipes + without chalking; you wants to cheat the poor widow; but I sees you, I + does! Providence protects the aged and the innocent—Oh, oh! these + twinges will be the death o' me. Where's Martha? You jade, you! you + wiperous hussy, bring the tape; does n't you see how I suffers? Has you no + bowels, to let a poor Christian cretur perish for want o' help! That's + with 'em, that's the way! No one cares for I now,—no one has respect + for the gray 'airs of the old!” And then the voice dwindled into the + whimpering “tenor of its way.” + </p> + <p> + Martha, a strapping wench with red hair streaming over her “hills of + snow,” was not, however, inattentive to the wants of her mistress. “Who + knows,” said she to a man who sat by the hearth, drinking tea out of a + blue mug, and toasting with great care two or three huge rounds of bread + for his own private and especial nutriment,—“who knows,” said she, + “what we may come to ourselves?” And, so saying, she placed a glowing + tumbler by her mistress's elbow. + </p> + <p> + But in the sunken prostration of her intellect, the old woman was + insensible even to her consolation. She sipped and drank, it is true; but + as if the stream warmed not the benumbed region through which it passed, + she continued muttering in a crazed and groaning key,— + </p> + <p> + “Is this your gratitude, you sarpent! Why does not you bring the tape, I + tells you? Am I of a age to drink water like a 'oss, you nasty thing! Oh, + to think as ever I should live to be desarted!” + </p> + <p> + Inattentive to these murmurs, which she felt unreasonable, the bouncing + Martha now quitted the room to repair to her “upper household” avocations. + The man at the hearth was the only companion left to the widow. Gazing at + her for a moment, as she sat whining, with a rude compassion in his eye, + and slowly munching his toast, which he had now buttered and placed in a + delf plate on the hob, this person thus soothingly began:— + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Dame Lobkins, if so be as 'ow little Paul vas a vith you, it would be + a gallows comfort to you in your latter hend!” + </p> + <p> + The name of Paul made the good woman incline her bead towards the speaker; + a ray of consciousness shot through her bedulled brain. + </p> + <p> + “Little Paul,—eh, sirs! where is Paul? Paul, I say, my ben cull. + Alack! he's gone,—left his poor old nurse to die like a cat in a + cellar. Oh, Dummie, never live to be old, man! They leaves us to oursel's, + and then takes away all the lush with 'em! I has not a drop o' comfort in + the 'varsal world!” + </p> + <p> + Dummie, who at this moment had his own reasons for soothing the dame, and + was anxious to make the most of the opportunity of a conversation as + unwitnessed as the present, replied tenderly, and with a cunning likely to + promote his end, reproached Paul bitterly for never having informed the + dame of his whereabout and his proceedings. “But come, dame,” he wound up, + “come, I guess as how he is better nor all that, and that you need not + beat your hold brains to think where he lies, or vot he's a doing. Blow me + tight, Mother Lob,—I ax pardon, Mrs. Margery, I should say,—if + I vould not give five bob, ay, and five to the tail o' that, to know what + the poor lad is about; I takes a mortal hinterest in that 'ere chap!” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! oh!” groaned the old woman, on whose palsied sense the astute + inquiries of Dummie Dunnaker fell harmless; “my poor sinful carcass! what + a way it be in!” + </p> + <p> + Artfully again did Dummie Dunnaker, nothing defeated, renew his attack; + but fortune does not always favour the wise, and it failed Dummie now, for + a twofold reason,—first, because it was not possible for the dame to + comprehend him; secondly, because even if it had been, she had nothing to + reveal. Some of Clifford's pecuniary gifts had been conveyed anonymously, + all without direction or date; and for the most part they had been + appropriated by the sage Martha, into whose hands they fell, to her own + private uses. Nor did the dame require Clifford's grateful charity; for + she was a woman tolerably well off in this world, considering how near she + was waxing to another. Longer, however, might Dummie have tried his + unavailing way, had not the door of the inn creaked on its hinges, and the + bulky form of a tall man in a smockfrock, but with a remarkably fine head + of hair, darkened the threshold. He honoured the dame, who cast on him a + lacklustre eye, with a sulky yet ambrosial nod, seized a bottle of spirits + and a tumbler, lighted a candle, drew a small German pipe and a + tobacco-box from his pouch, placed these several luxuries on a small + table, wheeled it to a far corner of the room, and throwing himself into + one chair, and his legs into another, he enjoyed the result of his pains + in a moody and supercilious silence. Long and earnestly did the meek + Dummie gaze on the face of the gentleman before him. It had been some + years since he had last beheld it; but it was one which did not easily + escape the memory; and although its proprietor was a man who had risen in + the world, and had gained the height of his profession (a station far + beyond the diurnal sphere of Dummie Dunnaker), and the humble purloiner + was therefore astonished to encounter him in these lower regions, yet + Dummie's recollection carried him back to a day when they had gone shares + together without respect of persons, and been right jolly partners in the + practical game of beggar my neighbour. While, however, Dummie Dunnaker, + who was a little inclined to be shy, deliberated as to the propriety of + claiming acquaintanceship, a dirty boy, with a face which betokened the + frost, as Dummie himself said, like a plum dying of the scarlet fever, + entered the room, with a newspaper in his dexter paw. + </p> + <p> + “Great news! great news!” cried the urchin, imitating his vociferous + originals in the street; “all about the famous Captain Lovett, as large as + life!” + </p> + <p> + “'Old your blarney, you blattergowl!” said Dummie, rebukingly, and seizing + the journal. + </p> + <p> + “Master says as how he must have it to send to Clapham, and can't spare it + for more than a 'our!” said the boy, as he withdrew. + </p> + <p> + “I 'members the day,” said Dummie, with the zeal of a clansman, “when the + Mug took a paper all to itsel' instead o' 'iring it by the job like!” + </p> + <p> + Thereon he opened the paper with a fillip, and gave himself tip to the + lecture. But the tall stranger, half rising with a start, exclaimed,— + </p> + <p> + “Can't you have the manners to be communicative? Do you think nobody cares + about Captain Lovett but yourself?” On this, Dummie turned round on his + chair, and, with a “Blow me tight, you're velcome, I'm sure,” began as + follows (we copy the paper, not the diction of the reader):— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “The trial of the notorious Lovett commences this day. Great + exertions have been made by people of all classes to procure seats + in the Town Hall, which will be full to a degree never before known + in this peaceful province. No less than seven indictments are said + to await the prisoner; it has been agreed that the robbery of Lord + Mauleverer should be the first to come on. The principal witness in + this case against the prisoner is understood to be the king's + evidence, MacGrawler. No news as yet have been circulated + concerning the suspected accomplices, Augustus Tomlinson and Edward + Pepper. It is believed that the former has left the country, and + that the latter is lurking among the low refuges of guilt with which + the heart of the metropolis abounds. Report speaks highly of the + person and manners of Lovett. He is also supposed to be a man of + some talent, and was formerly engaged in an obscure periodical + edited by MacGrawler, and termed the 'Althenaeum,' Or 'Asinaeum.' + Nevertheless, we apprehend that his origin is remarkably low, and + suitable to the nature of his pursuits. The prisoner will be most + fortunate in a judge. Never did any one holding the same high + office as Sir William Brandon earn an equal reputation in so short a + time. The Whigs are accustomed to sneer at us, when we insist on + the private virtues of our public men. Let them look to Sir William + Brandon, and confess that the austerest morals maybe linked with the + soundest knowledge and the most brilliant genius. The opening + address of the learned judge to the jury at———-is perhaps the + most impressive and solemn piece of eloquence in the English + language!” + </pre> + <p> + A cause for this eulogium might haply be found in another part of the + paper, in which it was said,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Among the higher circles, we understand, the rumour has gone forth + that Sir William Brandon is to be recalled to his old parliamentary + career in a more elevated scene. So highly are this gentleman's + talents respected by his Majesty and the ministers, that they are, + it is reported, anxious to secure his assistance in the House of + Lords!” + </pre> + <p> + When Dummie had spelt his “toilsome march” through the first of the above + extracts he turned round to the tall stranger, and, eying him with a sort + of winking significance, said,— + </p> + <p> + “So MacGrawler peaches,—blows the gaff on his pals, eh! Vel, now, I + always suspected that 'ere son of a gun! Do you know, he used to be at the + Mug many 's a day, a teaching our little Paul, and says I to Piggy Lob, + says I, 'Blow me tight, but that cove is a queer one! and if he does not + come to be scragged,' says I, 'it vill only be because he'll turn a rusty, + and scrag one of his pals!' So you sees” (here Dummie looked round, and + his voice sank into a whisper),—“so you sees, Meester Pepper, I vas + no fool there!” + </p> + <p> + Long Ned dropped his pipe, and said sourly and with a suspicious frown, + “What! you know me?” + </p> + <p> + “To be sure and sartin I does,” answered little Dummie, walking to the + table where the robber sat. “Does not you know I?” + </p> + <p> + Ned regarded the interrogator with a sullen glance, which gradually + brightened into knowledge. “Ah!” said he, with the air of a Brummel, “Mr. + Bummie, or Dummie, I think, eh! Shake a paw,—I'm glad to see you. + Recollect the last time I saw you, you rather affronted me. Never mind. I + dare say you did not mean it.” + </p> + <p> + Encouraged by this affable reception from the highwayman, though a little + embarrassed by Ned's allusion to former conduct on his part, which he felt + was just, Dummie grinned, pushed a stool near Ned, sat himself down, and + carefully avoiding any immediate answer to Ned's complaints, rejoined,— + </p> + <p> + “Do you know, Meester Pepper, you struck I all of a heap? I could not have + s'posed as how you'd condescend nowadays to come to the Mug, vhere I never + seed you but once afore. Lord love ye, they says as 'ow you go to all the + fine places in ruffles, with a pair of silver pops in your vaistcoat + pocket! Vy, the boys hereabout say that you and Meester Tomlinson, and + this 'ere poor devil in quod, vere the finest gemmen in town; and, Lord, + for to think of your ciwility to a pitiful ragmerchant, like I!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” said Ned, gravely, “there are sad principles afloat now. They want + to do away with all distinctions in ranks,—to make a duke no better + than his valet, and a gentleman highwayman class with a filcher of + fogles.' But, damme, if I don't think misfortune levels us all quite + enough; and misfortune brings me here, little Dummie.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! you vants to keep out of the vay of the bulkies!” + </p> + <p> + “Right. Since poor Lovett was laid by the heels, which I must say was the + fault of his own deuced gentlemanlike behaviour to me and Augustus (you've + heard of Guz, you say), the knot of us seems quite broken. One's own + friends look inclined to play one false; and really, the queer cuffins + hover so sharply upon us that I thought it safe to duck for a time. So I + have taken a lodging in a cellar, and I intend for the next three months + to board at the Mug. I have heard that I may be sure of lying snug here. + Dummie, your health! Give us the baccy.” + </p> + <p> + “I say, Meester Pepper,” said Dummie, clearing his throat, when he had + obeyed the request, “can you tell I, if so be you 'as met in your travels + our little Paul? Poor chap! You knows as 'ow and vy he was sent to quod by + Justice Burnflat. Vel, ven he got out, he vent to the devil, or summut + like it, and ve have not 'card a vord of him since. You 'members the lad,—a + 'nation fine cull, tall and straight as a harrow!” + </p> + <p> + “Why, you fool,” said Ned, “don't you know”—then checking himself + suddenly, “Ah! by the by, that rigmarole oath! I was not to tell; though + now it's past caring for, I fear! It is no use looking after the seal when + the letter's burned.” + </p> + <p> + “Blow me,” cried Dunnaker, with unaffected vehemence, “I sees as how you + know vot's come of he! Many's the good turn I'll do you, if you vill but + tell I.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, does he owe you a dozen bobs; or what, Dummie?” said Ned. + </p> + <p> + “Not he,—not he,” cried Dummie. + </p> + <p> + “What then, you want to do him a mischief of some sort?” + </p> + <p> + “Do little Paul a mischief!” ejaculated Dummie; “vy, I've known the cull + ever since he was that high! No, but I vants to do him a great sarvice, + Meester Pepper, and myself too,—and you to boot, for aught that I + know, Meester Pepper.” + </p> + <p> + “Humph!” said Ned,—“humph! what do you mean? I do, it is true, know + where Paul is; but you must tell me first why you wish to know, otherwise + you may ask your grandfather for me.” + </p> + <p> + A long, sharp, wistful survey did Mr. Dummie Dunnaker cast around him + before he rejoined. All seemed safe and convenient for confidential + communication. The supine features of Mrs. Lobkins were hushed in a drowsy + stupor; even the gray cat that lay by the fire was curled in the embrace + of Morpheus. Nevertheless, it was in a close whisper that Dummie spoke. + </p> + <p> + “I dares be bound, Meester Pepper, that you 'members vell ven Harry Cook, + the great highvayman,—poor fellow! he's gone vhere ve must all go,—brought + you, then quite a gossoon,' for the first time to the little back parlour + at the Cock and Hen, Dewereux Court?” + </p> + <p> + Ned nodded assent. + </p> + <p> + “And you 'members as how I met Harry and you there, and I vas all afeard + at you,—'cause vy? I had never seen you afore, and ve vas a going to + crack a swell's crib. And Harry spoke up for you, and said as 'ow though + you had just gone on the town, you was already prime up to gammon. You + 'members, eh?” + </p> + <p> + “Ay, I remember all,” said Ned; “it was the first and only house I ever + had a hand in breaking into. Harry was a fellow of low habits; so I + dropped his acquaintance, and took solely to the road, or a chance + ingenuity now and then. I have no idea of a gentleman turning cracksman.” + </p> + <p> + “Vel, so you vent vith us, and ve slipped you through a pane in the + kitchen-vindow. You vas the least of us, big as you be now; and you vent + round and opened the door for us; and ven you had opened the door, you saw + a voman had joined us, and you were a funked then, and stayed vithout the + crib, to keep vatch vhile ve vent in.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well,” cried Ned, “what the devil has all this rigmarole got to do + with Paul?” + </p> + <p> + “Now don't be glimflashy, but let me go on smack right about. Vell, ven ve + came out, you minds as 'ow the voman had a bundle in her arms, and you + spake to her; and she answered you roughly, and left us all, and vent + straight home; and ve vent and fenced the swag' that wery night and + afterwards napped the regulars. And sure you made us laugh 'artily, + Meester Pepper, when you said, says you, 'That 'ere voman is a rum blo” + en.' So she vas, Meester Pepper!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [The reader has probably observed the use made by Dummie and Mrs. + Lobkins of Irish phraseology or pronunciation, This is a remarkable + trait in the dialect of the lowest orders in London, owing, we + suppose, to their constant association with emigrants from “the + first flower of the earth.” Perhaps it is a modish affectation + among the gentry of St. Giles's, just as we eke out our mother- + tongue with French at Mayfair.] +</pre> + <p> + “Oh, spare me,” said Ned, affectedly, “and make haste; you keep me all in + the dark. By the way, I remember that you joked me about the bundle; and + when I asked what the woman had wrapped in it, you swore it was a child. + Rather more likely that the girl, whoever she was, would have left a child + behind her than carried one off!” The face of Dummie waxed big with + conscious importance. + </p> + <p> + “Vell, now, you would not believe us; but it vas all true. That 'ere + bundle vas the voman's child,—I s'pose an unnatural von by the + gemman; she let us into the 'ouse on condition we helped her off vith it. + And, blow me tight, but ve paid ourselves vel for our trouble. That 'ere + voman vas a strange cretur; they say she had been a lord's blowen; but + howsomever, she was as 'ot-'eaded and hodd as if she had been. There vas + old Nick's hown row made on the matter, and the revard for our [de]tection + vas so great, that as you vas not much tried yet, Harry thought it best + for to take you vith 'im down to the country, and told you as 'ow it vas + all a flam about the child in the bundle!” + </p> + <p> + “Faith,” said Ned, “I believed him readily enough; and poor Harry was + twisted shortly after, and I went into Ireland for safety, where I stayed + two years,—and deuced good claret I got there!” + </p> + <p> + “So, vhiles you vas there,” continued Dummie, “poor Judy, the voman, died,—she + died in this very 'ouse, and left the horphan to the [af]fection of Piggy + Lob, who was 'nation fond of it surely! Oh! but I 'members vot a night it + vas ven poor Judy died; the vind vistled like mad, and the rain tumbled + about as if it had got a holiday; and there the poor creature lay raving + just over 'ed of this room we sits in! Laus-a-me, vat a sight it vas!” + </p> + <p> + Here Dummie paused, and seemed to recall in imagination the scene he had + witnessed; but over the mind of Long Ned a ray of light broke slowly. + </p> + <p> + “Whew!” said he, lifting up his forefinger, “whew! I smell a rat; this + stolen child, then, was no other than Paul. But, pray, to whom did the + house belong? For that fact Harry never communicated to me. I only heard + the owner was a lawyer, or parson, or some such thing.” + </p> + <p> + “Vy now, I'll tell you, but don't be glimflashy. So, you see, ven Judy + died, and Harry was scragged, I vas the only von living who vas up to the + secret; and vhen Mother Lob vas a taking a drop to comfort her vhen Judy + vent off, I hopens a great box in which poor Judy kept her duds and + rattletraps, and surely I finds at the bottom of the box hever so many + letters and sick like,—for I knew as 'ow they vas there; so I vhips + these off and carries 'em 'ome with me, and soon arter, Mother Lob sold me + the box o' duds for two quids—'cause vy? I vas a rag-merchant. So + now I 'solved, since the secret vas all in my hown keeping, to keep it as + tight as vinkey; for first, you sees as 'ow I vas afeard I should be + hanged if I vent for to tell,—'cause vy? I stole a vatch, and lots + more, as vell as the hurchin; and next I vas afeard as 'ow the mother + might come back and haunt me the same as Sall haunted Villy, for it vas a + 'orrid night ven her soul took ving. And hover and above this, Meester + Pepper, I thought summut might turn hup by and by, in vhich it vould be + best for I to keep my hown counsel and nab the revard, if I hever durst + make myself known.” + </p> + <p> + Here Dummie proceeded to narrate how frightened he had been lest Ned + should discover all, when (as it may be remembered, Pepper informed Paul + at the beginning of this history) he encountered that worthy at Dame + Lobkins's house; how this fear had induced him to testify to Pepper that + coldness and rudeness which had so enraged the haughty highwayman; and how + great had been his relief and delight at finding that Ned returned to the + Mug no more. He next proceeded to inform his new confidant of his meeting + with the father (the sagacious reader knows where and when), and of what + took place at that event. He said how, in his first negotiation with the + father, prudently resolving to communicate drop by drop such information + as he possessed, he merely, besides confessing to a share in the robbery, + stated that he thought he knew the house, etc., to which the infant had + been consigned,—and that, if so, it was still alive; but that he + would inquire. He then related how the sanguine father, who saw that + hanging Dummie for the robbery of his house might not be half so likely a + method to recover his son as bribery and conciliation, not only forgave + him his former outrage, but whetted his appetite to the search by + rewarding him for his disclosure. He then proceeded to state how, unable + anywhere to find Paul, or any trace of him, he amused the sire from time + to time with forged excuses; how, at first, the sums he received made him + by no means desirous to expedite a discovery that would terminate such + satisfactory receipts; how at length the magnitude of the proffered + reward, joined to the threats of the sire, had made him become seriously + anxious to learn the real fate and present “whereabout” of Paul; how, the + last time he had seen the father, he had, by way of propitiation and first + fruit, taken to him all the papers left by the unhappy mother and secreted + by himself; and how he was now delighted to find that Ned was acquainted + with Paul's address. Since he despaired of finding Paul by his own + exertions alone, he became less tenacious of his secret; and he now + proffered Ned, on discovery of Paul, a third of that reward the whole of + which he had once hoped to engross. + </p> + <p> + Ned's eyes and mouth opened at this proposition. “But the name,—the + name of the father? You have not told me that yet!” cried he, impatiently. + </p> + <p> + “Noa, noa!” said Dummie, archly, “I does n't tell you all, till you tells + I summut. Vhere's little Paul, I say; and vhere be us to get at him?” + </p> + <p> + Ned heaved a sigh. + </p> + <p> + “As for the oath,” said he, musingly, “it would be a sin to keep it, now + that to break it can do him no harm, and may do him good, especially as, + in case of imprisonment or death, the oath is not held to be binding; yet + I fear it is too late for the reward. The father will scarcely thank you + for finding his son!—-Know, Dummie, that Paul is in jail, and that + he is one and the same person as Captain Lovett!” Astonishment never wrote + in more legible characters than she now displayed on the rough features of + Dummie Dunnaker. So strong are the sympathies of a profession compared + with all others, that Dummie's first confused thought was that of pride. + “The great Captain Lovett!” he faltered. + </p> + <p> + “Little Paul at the top of the profession! Lord, Lord! I always said as + how he'd the hambition to rise!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well, but the father's name?” + </p> + <p> + At this question the expression of Dummie's face fell; a sudden horror + struggled to his eyes— + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0035" id="link2HCH0035"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXV. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Why is it that at moments there creeps over us an awe, a terror, + overpowering but undefined? Why is it that we shudder without a + cause, and feel the warm life-blood stand still in its courses? + Are the dead too near? + FALKLAND + + Ha! sayest thou! Hideous thought, I feel it twine + O'er my iced heart, as curls around his prey + The sure and deadly serpent! + ............ + What! in the hush and in the solitude + Passed that dread soul away? + Love and Hatred. +</pre> + <p> + The evening prior to that morning in which the above conversation + occurred, Brandon passed alone in his lodging at ————. + He had felt himself too unwell to attend the customary wassail, and he sat + indolently musing in the solitude of the old-fashioned chamber to which he + was consigned. There, two wax-candles on the smooth, quaint table dimly + struggled against the gloom of heavy panels, which were relieved at + unfrequent intervals by portraits in oaken frames, dingy, harsh, and + important with the pomp of laced garments and flowing wigs. The + predilection of the landlady for modern tastes had, indeed, on each side + of the huge fireplace suspended more novel masterpieces of the fine arts. + In emblematic gorgeousness hung the pictures of the four Seasons, buxom + wenches all, save Winter, who was deformedly bodied forth in the likeness + of an aged carle. These were interspersed by an engraving of Lord + Mauleverer, the lieutenant of the neighbouring county, looking extremely + majestical in his peer's robes; and by three typifications of Faith, Hope, + and Charity,—ladies with whom it may be doubted if the gay earl ever + before cultivated so close an intimacy. Curtains, of that antique chintz + in which fasces of stripes are alternated by rows of flowers, filled the + interstices of three windows; a heavy sideboard occupied the greater + portion of one side of the room; and on the opposite side, in the rear of + Brandon, a vast screen stretched its slow length along, and relieved the + unpopulated and as it were desolate comfort of the apartment. + </p> + <p> + Pale and imperfectly streamed the light upon Brandon's face, as he sat in + his large chair, leaning his cheek on one hand, and gazing with the + unconscious earnestness of abstraction on the clear fire. At that moment a + whole phalanx of gloomy thought was sweeping in successive array across + his mind. His early ambition, his ill-omened marriage, the causes of his + after-rise in the wrong-judging world, the first dawn of his reputation, + his rapid and flattering successes, his present elevation, his aspiring + hope of far higher office, and more patrician honours,—all these + phantoms passed before him in checkered shadow and light; but ever with + each stalked one disquieting and dark remembrance,—the loss of his + only son. + </p> + <p> + Weaving his ambition with the wish to revive the pride of his hereditary + name, every acquisition of fortune or of fame rendered him yet more + anxious to find the only one who could perpetuate these hollow + distinctions to his race. + </p> + <p> + “I shall recover him yet!” he broke out suddenly and aloud. As he spoke, a + quick, darting, spasmodic pain ran shivering through his whole frame, and + then fixed for one instant on his heart with a gripe like the talons of a + bird; it passed away, and was followed by a deadly sickness. Brandon rose, + and filling himself a large tumbler of water, drank with avidity. The + sickness passed off like the preceding pain; but the sensation had of late + been often felt by Brandon, and disregarded,—for few persons were + less afflicted with the self-torture of hypochondria; but now, that night, + whether it was more keen than usual, or whether his thought had touched on + the string that jars naturally on the most startling of human + anticipations, we know not, but, as he resumed his seat, the idea of his + approaching dissolution shot like an ice-bolt through his breast. + </p> + <p> + So intent was this scheming man upon the living objects of the world, and + so little were his thoughts accustomed to turn toward the ultimate goal of + all things, that this idea obtruding itself abruptly upon him, startled + him with a ghastly awe. He felt the colour rush from his cheek, and a + tingling and involuntary pain ran wandering through the channels of his + blood, even from the roots of the hair to the soles of his feet. But the + stern soul of Brandon was not one which shadows could long affright. He + nerved himself to meet the grim thought thus forced upon his mental eye, + and he gazed on it with a steady and enduring look. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” thought he, “is my hour coming, or have I yet the ordinary term of + mortal nature to expect? It is true, I have lately suffered these strange + revulsions of the frame with somewhat of an alarming frequency; perhaps + this medicine, which healed the anguish of one infirmity, has produced + another more immediately deadly. Yet why should I think this? My sleep is + sound and calm, my habits temperate, my mind active and clear as in its + best days. In my youth I never played the traitor with my constitution; + why should it desert me at the very threshold of my age? Nay, nay, these + are but passing twitches, chills of the blood that begins to wax thin. + Shall I learn to be less rigorous in my diet? Perhaps wine may reward my + abstinence in avoiding it for my luxuries, by becoming a cordial to my + necessities! Ay, I will consult,—I will consult, I must not die yet. + I have—let me see, three—four grades to gain before the ladder + is scaled. And, above all, I must regain my child! Lucy married to + Mauleverer, myself a peer, my son wedded to-whom? Pray God he be not + married already! My nephews and my children nobles! the house of Brandon + restored, my power high in the upward gaze of men, my fame set on a more + lasting basis than a skill in the quirks of law,—these are yet to + come; these I will not die till I have enjoyed! Men die not till their + destinies are fulfilled. The spirit that swells and soars within me says + that the destiny of William Brandon is but half begun!” + </p> + <p> + With this conclusion, Brandon sought his pillow. What were the reflections + of the prisoner whom he was to judge? Need we ask? Let us picture to + ourselves his shattered health, the languor of sickness heightening the + gloom which makes the very air of a jail; his certainty of the doom to be + passed against him; his knowledge that the uncle of Lucy Brandon was to be + his judge, that Mauleverer was to be his accuser, and that in all human + probability the only woman he had ever loved must sooner or later learn + the criminality of his life and the ignominy of his death; let us but + glance at the above blackness of circumstances that surrounded him, and it + would seem that there is but little doubt as to the complexion of his + thoughts! Perhaps, indeed, even in that terrible and desolate hour one + sweet face shone on him, “and dashed the darkness all away.” Perhaps, too, + whatever might be the stings of his conscience, one thought, one + remembrance of a temptation mastered and a sin escaped, brought to his + eyes tears that were sweet and healing in their source. But the heart of a + man in Clifford's awful situation is dark and inscrutable; and often when + the wildest and gloomiest external circumstances surround us, their + reflection sleeps like a shadow, calm and still upon the mind. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, the whole town of (a town in which, we regret to say, an + accident once detained ourself for three wretched days, and which we can, + speaking therefore from profound experience, assert to be in ordinary + times the most melancholy and peopleless-looking congregation of houses + that a sober imagination can conceive) exhibited a scene of such bustle, + animation, and jovial anxiety as the trial for life or death to a + fellow-creature can alone excite in the phlegmatic breasts of the English. + Around the court the crowd thickened with every moment, until the whole + marketplace in which the townhall was situated became one living mass. The + windows of the houses were filled with women, some of whom had taken that + opportunity to make parties to breakfast; and little round tables, with + tea and toast on them, caught the eyes of the grinning mobists as they + gaped impatiently upwards. + </p> + <p> + “Ben,” said a stout yeoman, tossing up a halfpenny, and catching the said + coin in his right hand, which he immediately covered with the left,—“Ben, + heads or tails that Lovett is hanged; heads hanged, tails not, for a + crown.” + </p> + <p> + “Petticoats, to be sure,” quoth Ben, eating an apple; and it was heads! + </p> + <p> + “Damme, you've lost!” cried the yeoman, rubbing his rough hands with glee. + </p> + <p> + It would have been a fine sight for Asmodeus, could he have perched on one + of the house tops of the market-place of ————, and + looked on the murmuring and heaving sea of mortality below. Oh! the sight + of a crowd round a court of law or a gibbet ought to make the devil split + himself with laughter. + </p> + <p> + While the mob was fretting, and pushing, and swearing, and grinning, and + betting, and picking pockets, and trampling feet, and tearing gowns, and + scrambling nearer and nearer to the doors and windows of the court, + Brandon was slowly concluding his abstemious repast, preparatory to + attendance on his judicial duties. His footman entered with a letter. Sir + William glanced rapidly over the seal (one of those immense sacrifices of + wax used at that day), adorned with a huge coat-of-arms, surmounted with + an earl's coronet, and decorated on either side with those supporters so + dear to heraldic taste. He then tore open the letter, and read as follows:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + MY DEAR SIR WILLIAM,—You know that in the last conversation I had + the Honour to hold with you I alluded, though perhaps somewhat + distantly, to the esteem which his Majesty had personally expressed + for your principles and talents, and his wish to testify it at the + earliest opportunity. There will be, as you are doubtless aware, an + immediate creation of four peerages. Your name stands second on the + list. The choice of title his Majesty graciously leaves to you; but + he has hinted that the respectable antiquity of your family would + make him best pleased were you to select the name of your own + family-seat, which, if I mistake not, is Warlock. You will instruct + me at your leisure as to the manner in which the patent should be + made out, touching the succession, etc. Perhaps (excuse the license + of an old friend) this event may induce you to forsake your long- + cherished celibacy. I need not add that this accession of rank will + be accompanied by professional elevation. You will see by the + papers that the death of ————leaves vacant the dignity of Chief + Baron; and I am at length empowered to offer you a station + proportioned to your character and talents. + + With great consideration, believe me, my dear Sir, Very truly yours, + + Private and Confidential. +</pre> + <p> + Brandon's dark eye glanced quickly from the signature of the premier, + affixed to this communication, towards the mirror opposite him. He strode + to it, and examined his own countenance with a long and wistful gaze. + Never, we think, did youthful gallant about to repair to the + trysting-spot, in which fair looks make the greatest of earthly + advantages, gaze more anxiously on the impartial glass than now did the + ascetic and scornful judge; and never, we ween, did the eye of the said + gallant retire with a more satisfied and triumphant expression. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, yes!” muttered the judge, “no sign of infirmity is yet written here; + the blood flows clear and warm enough; the cheek looks firm too, and + passing full, for one who was always of the lean kine. Aha! this letter is + a cordial, an elixir vitro. I feel as if a new lease were granted to the + reluctant tenant. Lord Warlock, the first Baron of Warlock, Lord Chief + Baron,—what next?” + </p> + <p> + As he spoke, he strode unconsciously away, folding his arms with that sort + of joyous and complacent gesture which implies the idea of a man hugging + himself in a silent delight. Assuredly had the most skilful physician then + looked upon the ardent and all-lighted face, the firm step, the elastic + and muscular frame, the vigorous air of Brandon, as he mentally continued + his soliloquy, he would have predicted for him as fair a grasp on + longevity as the chances of mortal life will allow. He was interrupted by + the servant entering. + </p> + <p> + “It is twenty-five minutes after nine, sir,” said he, respectfully. + </p> + <p> + “Sir,—sir!” repeated Brandon. “Ah, well! so late!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, sir, and the sheriff's carriage is almost at the door.” + </p> + <p> + “Humph! Minister,—Peer,—Warlock,—succession. My son, my + son! would to God that I could find thee!” + </p> + <p> + Such were Brandon's last thoughts as he left the room. It was with great + difficulty, so dense was the crowd, that the judge drove up to the court. + As the carriage slowly passed, the spectators pressed to the windows of + the vehicle, and stood on tiptoe to catch a view of the celebrated lawyer. + Brandon's face, never long indicative of his feelings, had now settled + into its usual gravity; and the severe loftiness of his look chilled, + while it satisfied, the curiosity of the vulgar. It had been ordered that + no person should be admitted until the judge had taken his seat on the + bench; and this order occasioned so much delay, owing to the accumulated + pressure of the vast and miscellaneous group, that it was more than half + an hour before the court was able to obtain that decent order suiting the + solemnity of the occasion. At five minutes before ten a universal and + indescribable movement announced that the prisoner was put to the bar. We + read in one of the journals of that day, that “on being put to the bar, + the prisoner looked round with a long and anxious gaze, which at length + settled on the judge, and then dropped, while the prisoner was observed to + change countenance slightly. Lovett was dressed in a plain dark suit; he + seemed to be about six feet high; and though thin and worn, probably from + the effect of his wound and imprisonment, he is remarkably well made, and + exhibits the outward appearance of that great personal strength which he + is said to possess, and which is not unfrequently the characteristic of + daring criminals. His face is handsome and prepossessing, his eyes and + hair dark, and his complexion pale, possibly from the effects of his + confinement; there was a certain sternness in his countenance during the + greater part of the trial. His behaviour was remarkably collected and + composed. The prisoner listened with the greatest attention to the + indictment, which the reader will find in another part of our paper, + charging him with the highway robbery of Lord Mauleverer, on the night of + the ------ of ------ last. He occasionally inclined his body forward, and turned his ear + towards the court; and he was observed, as the jury were sworn, to look + steadily in the face of each. He breathed thick and hard when the various + aliases he had assumed—Howard, Cavendish, Jackson, etc.,—were + read; but smiled with an unaccountable expression when the list was + completed, as if exulting at the varieties of his ingenuity. At + twenty-five minutes past ten Mr. Dyebright, the counsel for the crown, + stated the case to the jury.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Dyebright was a lawyer of great eminence; he had been a Whig all his + life, but had latterly become remarkable for his insincerity, and + subservience to the wishes of the higher powers. His talents were peculiar + and effective. If he had little eloquence, he had much power; and his + legal knowledge, was sound and extensive. Many of his brethren excelled + him in display; but no one, like him, possessed the secret of addressing a + jury. Winningly familiar; seemingly candid to a degree that scarcely did + justice to his cause, as if he were in an agony lest he should persuade + you to lean a hair-breadth more on his side of the case than justice would + allow; apparently all made up of good, homely, virtuous feeling, a + disinterested regard for truth, a blunt yet tender honesty, seasoned with + a few amiable fireside prejudices, which always come home to the hearts of + your fathers of families and thorough-bred Britons; versed in all the + niceties of language, and the magic of names; if he were defending crime, + carefully calling it misfortune; if attacking misfortune, constantly + calling it crime,—Mr. Dyebright was exactly the man born to pervert + justice, to tickle jurors, to cozen truth with a friendly smile, and to + obtain a vast reputation as an excellent advocate. He began with a long + preliminary flourish on the importance of the case. He said that he should + with the most scrupulous delicacy avoid every remark calculated to raise + unnecessary prejudice against the prisoner. He should not allude to his + unhappy notoriety, his associations with the lowest dregs. (Here up jumped + the counsel for the prisoner, and Mr. Dyebright was called to order.) “God + knows,” resumed the learned gentleman, looking wistfully at the jury, + “that my learned friend might have spared himself this warning. God knows + that I would rather fifty of the wretched inmates of this county jail were + to escape unharmed than that a hair of the prisoner you behold at the bar + should be unjustly touched. The life of a human being is at stake; we + should be guilty ourselves of a crime which on our deathbeds we should + tremble to recall, were we to suffer any consideration, whether of + interest or of prejudice, or of undue fear for our own properties and + lives, to bias us even to the turning of a straw against the unfortunate + prisoner. Gentlemen, if you find me travelling a single inch from my case,—if + you find me saying a single word calculated to harm the prisoner in your + eyes, and unsupported by the evidence I shall call,—then I implore + you not to depend upon the vigilance of my learned friend, but to treasure + these my errors in your recollection, and to consider them as so many + arguments in favour of the prisoner. If, gentlemen, I could by any + possibility imagine that your verdict would be favourable to the prisoner, + I can, unaffectedly and from the bottom of my heart, declare to you that I + should rejoice; a case might be lost, but a fellow-creature would be + saved! Callous as we of the legal profession are believed, we have + feelings like you; and I ask any one of you, gentlemen of the jury, any + one who has ever felt the pleasures of social intercourse, the joy of + charity, the heart's reward of benevolence,—I ask any one of you, + whether, if he were placed in the arduous situation I now hold, all the + persuasions of vanity would not vanish at once from his mind, and whether + his defeat as an advocate would not be rendered dear to him by the common + and fleshly sympathies of a man. But, gentlemen” (Mr. Dyebright's voice at + once deepened and faltered), “there is a duty, a painful duty, we owe to + our country; and never, in the long course of my professional experience, + do I remember an instance in which it was more called forth than in the + present. Mercy, gentlemen, is dear, very dear to us all; but it is the + deadliest injury we can inflict on mankind when it is bought at the + expense of justice.” + </p> + <p> + The learned gentleman then, after a few further prefatory observations, + proceeded to state how, on the night of ———- last, Lord + Mauleverer was stopped and robbed by three men masked, of a sum of money + amounting to above L350, a diamond snuff-box, rings, watch, and a case of + most valuable jewels,—how Lord Mauleverer, in endeavouring to defend + himself, had passed a bullet through the clothes of one of the robbers,—how + it would be proved that the garments of the prisoner, found in a cave in + Oxfordshire, and positively sworn to by a witness he should produce, + exhibited a rent similar to such a one as a bullet would produce,—how, + moreover, it would be positively sworn to by the same witness, that the + prisoner Lovett had come to the cavern with two accomplices not since + taken up, since their rescue by the prisoner, and boasted of the robbery + he had just committed; that in the clothes and sleeping apartment of the + robber the articles stolen from Lord Mauleverer were found; and that the + purse containing the notes for L300, the only thing the prisoner could + probably have obtained time to carry off with him, on the morning on which + the cave was entered by the policemen, was found on his person on the day + on which he had attempted the rescue of his comrades, and had been + apprehended in that attempt. He stated, moreover, that the dress found in + the cavern, and sworn to by one witness he should produce as belonging to + the prisoner, answered exactly to the description of the clothes worn by + the principal robber, and sworn to by Lord Mauleverer, his servant, and + the postilions. In like manner the colour of one of the horses found in + the cavern corresponded with that rode by the highwayman. On these + circumstantial proofs, aided by the immediate testimony of the king's + evidence (that witness whom he should produce) he rested a case which + could, he averred, leave no doubt on the minds of an impartial jury. Such, + briefly and plainly alleged, made the substance of the details entered + into by the learned counsel, who then proceeded to call his witnesses. The + evidence of Lord Mauleverer (who was staying at Mauleverer Park, which was + within a few miles of—) was short and clear (it was noticed as a + singular circumstance, that at the end of the evidence the prisoner bowed + respectfully to his lordship). The witness of the postilions and of the + valet was no less concise; nor could all the ingenuity of Clifford's + counsel shake any part of their evidence in his cross-examination. The + main witness depended on by the crown was now summoned, and the solemn + countenance of Peter MacGrawler rose on the eyes of the jury. One look of + cold and blighting contempt fell on him from the eye of the prisoner, who + did not again deign to regard him during the whole of his examination. + </p> + <p> + The witness of MacGrawler was delivered with a pomposity worthy of the + ex-editor of the “Asinaeum.” Nevertheless, by the skill of Mr. Dyebright, + it was rendered sufficiently clear a story to leave an impression on the + jury damnatory to the interests of the prisoner. The counsel on the + opposite side was not slow in perceiving the ground acquired by the + adverse party; so, clearing his throat, he rose with a sneering air to the + cross-examination. + </p> + <p> + “So, so,” began Mr. Botheram, putting on a pair of remarkably large + spectacles, wherewith he truculently regarded the witness,—“so, so, + Mr. MacGrawler,—is that your name, eh, eh? Ah, it is, is it? A very + respectable name it is too, I warrant. Well, sir, look at me. Now, on your + oath, remember, were you ever the editor of a certain thing published + every Wednesday, and called the 'Athenaeum,' or the 'Asinaeum,' or some + such name?” + </p> + <p> + Commencing with this insidious and self-damnatory question, the learned + counsel then proceeded, as artfully as he was able, through a series of + interrogatories calculated to injure the character, the respectable + character, of MacGrawler, and weaken his testimony in the eyes of the + jury. He succeeded in exciting in the audience that feeling of merriment + wherewith the vulgar are always so delighted to intersperse the dull + seriousness of hanging a human being. But though the jury themselves + grinned, they were not convinced. The Scotsman retired from the + witness-box “scotched,” perhaps, in reputation, but not “killed” as to + testimony. It was just before this witness concluded, that Lord Mauleverer + caused to be handed to the judge a small slip of paper, containing merely + these words in pencil:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + DEAR BRANDON,—A dinner waits you at Mauleverer Park, only three + miles hence. Lord—and the Bishop of—meet you. Plenty of news + from London, and a letter about you, which I will show to no one + till we meet. Make haste and hang this poor fellow, that I may see + you the sooner; and it is bad for both of us to wait long for a + regular meal like dinner. I can't stay longer, it is so hot, and my + nerves were always susceptible. + + Yours, MAULEVERER. + + If you will come, give me a nod. You know my hour,—it is always + the same. +</pre> + <p> + The judge, glancing over the note, inclined his head gravely to the earl, + who withdrew; and in one minute afterwards, a heavy and breathless silence + fell over the whole court. The prisoner was called upon for his defence: + it was singular what a different sensation to that existing in their + breasts the moment before crept thrillingly through the audience. Hushed + was every whisper, vanished was every smile that the late + cross-examination had excited; a sudden and chilling sense of the dread + importance of the tribunal made itself abruptly felt in the minds of every + one present. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps, as in the gloomy satire of Hogarth (the moral Mephistopheles of + painters), the close neighbourhood of pain to mirth made the former come + with the homelier shock to the heart; be that as it may, a freezing + anxiety, numbing the pulse and stirring through the air, made every man in + that various crowd feel a sympathy of awe with his neighbour, excepting + only the hardened judge and the hackneyed lawyers, and one spectator,—an + idiot who had thrust himself in with the general press, and stood, within + a few paces of the prisoner, grinning unconsciously, and every now and + then winking with a glassy eye at some one at a distance, whose vigilance + he had probably eluded. + </p> + <p> + The face and aspect, even the attitude, of the prisoner were well fitted + to heighten the effect which would naturally have been created by any man + under the same fearful doom. He stood at the very front of the bar, and + his tall and noble figure was drawn up to its full height; a glow of + excitement spread itself gradually over features at all times striking, + and lighted an eye naturally eloquent, and to which various emotions at + that time gave a more than commonly deep and impressive expression. He + began thus:— + </p> + <p> + “My lord, I have little to say, and I may at once relieve the anxiety of + my counsel, who now looks wistfully upon me, and add that that little will + scarcely embrace the object of defence. Why should I defend myself? Why + should I endeavour to protract a life that a few days, more or less, will + terminate, according to the ordinary calculations of chance? Such as it is + and has been, my life is vowed to the law, and the law will have the + offering. Could I escape from this indictment, I know that seven others + await me, and that by one or the other of these my conviction and my + sentence must come. Life may be sweet to all of us, my lord; and were it + possible that mine could be spared yet a while, that continued life might + make a better atonement for past actions than a death which, abrupt and + premature, calls for repentance while it forbids redress. + </p> + <p> + “But when the dark side of things is our only choice, it is useless to + regard the bright; idle to fix our eyes upon life, when death is at hand; + useless to speak of contrition, when we are denied its proof. It is the + usual policy of prisoners in my situation to address the feelings and + flatter the prejudices of the jury; to descant on the excellence of our + laws, while they endeavour to disarm them; to praise justice, yet demand + mercy; to talk of expecting acquittal, yet boast of submitting without a + murmur to condemnation. For me, to whom all earthly interests are dead, + this policy is idle and superfluous. I hesitate not to tell you, my lord + judge,—to proclaim to you, gentlemen of the jury,—that the + laws which I have broken through my life I despise in death! Your laws are + but of two classes; the one makes criminals, the other punishes them. I + have suffered by the one; I am about to perish by the other. + </p> + <p> + “My lord, it was the turn of a straw which made me what I am. Seven years + ago I was sent to the house of correction for an offence which I did not + commit. I went thither, a boy who had never infringed a single law; I came + forth, in a few weeks, a man who was prepared to break all laws! Whence + was this change? Was it my fault, or that of my condemners? You had first + wronged me by a punishment which I did not deserve; you wronged me yet + more deeply when (even had I been guilty of the first offence) I was + sentenced to herd with hardened offenders, and graduates in vice and + vice's methods of support. The laws themselves caused me to break the + laws: first, by implanting within me the goading sense of injustice; + secondly, by submitting me to the corruption of example. Thus, I repeat,—and + I trust my words will sink solemnly into the hearts of all present,—your + legislation made me what I am; and it now destroys me, as it has destroyed + thousands, for being what it made me! But for this, the first aggression + on me, I might have been what the world terms honest,—I might have + advanced to old age and a peaceful grave through the harmless cheateries + of trade or the honoured falsehoods of a profession. Nay, I might have + supported the laws which I have now braved; like the counsel opposed to + me, I might have grown sleek on the vices of others, and advanced to + honour by my ingenuity in hanging my fellow-creatures! The canting and + prejudging part of the Press has affected to set before you the merits of + 'honest ability,' or 'laborious trade,' in opposition to my offences. + What, I beseech you, are the props of your 'honest' exertion,—the + profits of 'trade'? Are there no bribes to menials? Is there no + adulteration of goods? Are the rich never duped in the price they pay? Are + the poor never wronged in the quality they receive? Is there honesty in + the bread you eat, in a single necessity which clothes or feeds or warms + you? Let those whom the law protects consider it a protector: when did it + ever protect me? When did it ever protect the poor man? The government of + a State, the institutions of law, profess to provide for all those who + 'obey.' Mark! a man hungers,—do you feed him? He is naked,—do + you clothe him? If not, you break your covenant, you drive him back to the + first law of nature, and you hang him, not because he is guilty, but + because you have left him naked and starving! [A murmur among the mob + below, with great difficulty silenced.] One thing only I will add, and + that not to move your mercy,—no, nor to invest my fate with an idle + and momentary interest,—but because there are some persons in this + world who have not known me as the criminal who stands before you, and + whom the tidings of my fate may hereafter reach; and I would not have + those persons view me in blacker colours than I deserve. Among all the + rumours, gentlemen, that have reached you, through all the tales and + fables kindled from my unhappy notoriety and my approaching doom, I put it + to you, if you have heard that I have committed one sanguinary action or + one ruinous and deliberate fraud. You have heard that I have lived by the + plunder of the rich,—I do not deny the charge. From the grinding of + the poor, the habitual overreaching, or the systematic pilfering of my + neighbours, my conscience is as free as it is from the charge of cruelty + and bloodshed. Those errors I leave to honest mediocrity or virtuous + exertion! You may perhaps find, too, that my life has not passed through a + career of outrage without scattering some few benefits on the road. In + destroying me, it is true that you will have the consolation to think that + among the benefits you derive from my sentence will be the salutary + encouragement you give to other offenders to offend to the last, degree, + and to divest outrage of no single aggravation! But if this does not seem + to you any very powerful inducement, you may pause before you cut off from + all amendment a man who seems neither wholly hardened nor utterly beyond + atonement. My lord, my counsel would have wished to summon witnesses,—some + to bear testimony to redeeming points in my own character, others to + invalidate the oath of the witness against me,—a man whom I saved + from destruction in order that he might destroy me. I do not think either + necessary. The public Press has already said of me what little good does + not shock the truth; and had I not possessed something of those qualities + which society does not disesteem, you would not have beheld me here at + this hour! If I had saved myself as well as my companions, I should have + left this country, perhaps forever, and commenced a very different career + abroad. I committed offences; I eluded you; I committed what, in my case, + was an act of duty: I am seized, and I perish. But the weakness of my body + destroys me, not the strength of your malice. Had I” (and as the prisoner + spake, the haughty and rapid motion, the enlarging of the form, produced + by the passion of the moment, made impressively conspicuous to all the + remarkable power of his frame),—“had I but my wonted health, my + wonted command over these limbs and these veins, I would have asked no + friend, no ally, to favour my escape. I tell you, engines and guardians of + the law, that I would have mocked your chains and defied your walls, as ye + know that I have mocked and defied them before. But my blood creeps now + only in drops through its courses; and the heart that I had of old stirs + feebly and heavily within me.” The prisoner paused a moment, and resumed + in an altered tone: “Leaving, then, my own character to the ordeal of + report, I cannot perhaps do better than leave to the same criterion that + of the witness against me. I will candidly own that under other + circumstances it might have been otherwise. I will candidly avow that I + might have then used such means as your law awards me to procure an + acquittal and to prolong my existence,—though in a new scene; as it + is, what matters the cause in which I receive my sentence? Nay, it is even + better to suffer by the first than to linger to the last. It is some + consolation not again to stand where I now stand; to go through the + humbling solemnities which I have this day endured; to see the smile of + some, and retort the frown of others; to wrestle with the anxiety of the + heart, and to depend on the caprice of the excited nerves. It is something + to feel one part of the drama of disgrace is over, and that I may wait + unmolested in my den until, for one time only, I am again the butt of the + unthinking and the monster of the crowd. My lord, I have now done! To you, + whom the law deems the prisoner's counsel,—to you, gentlemen of the + jury, to whom it has delegated his fate,—I leave the chances of my + life.” + </p> + <p> + The prisoner ceased; but the same heavy silence which, save when broken by + one solitary murmur, had lain over the court during his speech, still + continued even for several moments after that deep and firm voice had died + on the ear. So different had been the defence of the prisoner from that + which had been expected; so assuredly did the more hackneyed part of the + audience, even as he had proceeded, imagine that by some artful turn he + would at length wind into the usual courses of defence,—that when + his unfaltering and almost stern accents paused, men were not prepared to + feel that his speech was finished, and the pause involuntarily jarred on + them as untimeous and abrupt. At length, when each of the audience slowly + awoke to the conviction that the prisoner had indeed concluded his + harangue, a movement, eloquent of feelings released from a suspense, which + had been perhaps the more earnest and the more blended with awe, from the + boldness and novelty of the words on which it hung, circled round the + court. The jurors looked confusedly at each other, but not one of them + spoke, even by a whisper; their feelings, which had been aroused by the + speech of the prisoner, had not from its shortness, its singularity, and + the haughty impolicy of its tone, been so far guided by its course as to + settle into any state of mind clearly favourable to him, or the reverse; + so that each man waited for his neighbour to speak first, in order that he + might find, as it were, in another, a kind of clew to the indistinct and + excited feelings which wanted utterance in himself. + </p> + <p> + The judge, who had been from the first attracted by the air and aspect of + the prisoner, had perhaps, notwithstanding the hardness of his mind, more + approvingly than any one present listened to the defence; for in the scorn + of the hollow institutions and the mock honesty of social life, so + defyingly manifested by the prisoner, Brandon recognized elements of mind + remarkably congenial to his own; and this sympathy was heightened by the + hardihood of physical nerve and moral intrepidity displayed by the + prisoner,—qualities which among men of a similar mould often form + the strongest motive of esteem, and sometimes (as we read of in the + Imperial Corsican and his chiefs) the only point of attraction! Brandon + was, however, soon recalled to his cold self by a murmur of vague applause + circling throughout the common crowd, among whom the general impulse + always manifests itself first, and to whom the opinions of the prisoner, + though but imperfectly understood, came more immediately home than they + did to the better and richer classes of the audience. Ever alive to the + decorums of form, Brandon instantly ordered silence in the court; and when + it was again restored, and it was fully understood that the prisoner's + defence had closed, the judge proceeded to sum up. + </p> + <p> + It is worthy of remark that many of the qualities of mind which seem most + unamiable in private life often conduce with a singular felicity to the + ends of public; and thus the stony firmness characteristic of Brandon was + a main cause which made him admirable as a judge,—for men in office + err no less from their feelings than their interests. + </p> + <p> + Glancing over his notes, the judge inclined himself to the jury, and began + with that silver ringing voice which particularly distinguished Brandon's + eloquence, and carried with it in high stations so majestic and candid a + tone of persuasion. He pointed out, with a clear brevity, the various + points of the evidence; he dwelt for a moment on the attempt to cast + disrepute upon the testimony of MacGrawler, but called a proper attention + to the fact that the attempt had been unsupported by witnesses or proof. + As he proceeded, the impression made by the prisoner on the minds of the + jury slowly melted away; and perhaps, so much do men soften when they + behold clearly the face of a fellow-man dependent on them for life, it + acted disadvantageously on the interests of Clifford, that during the + summing up he leaned back in the dock, and prevented his countenance from + being seen. When the evidence had been gone through, the judge concluded + thus:— + </p> + <p> + “The prisoner, who in his defence (on the principles and opinions of which + I now forbear to comment) certainly exhibited the signs of a superior + education, and a high though perverted ability, has alluded to the reports + circulated by the public Press, and leaned some little stress on the + various anecdotes tending to his advantage, which he supposes have reached + your ears. I am by no means willing that the prisoner should be deprived + of whatever benefit may be derivable from such a source; but it is not in + this place, nor at this moment, that it can avail him. All you have to + consider is the evidence before you. All on which you have to decide is, + whether the prisoner be or be not guilty of the robbery of which he is + charged. You must not waste a thought on what redeems or heightens a + supposed crime,—you must only decide on the crime itself. Put away + from your minds, I beseech you, all that interferes with the main case. + Put away also from your motives of decision all forethought of other + possible indictments to which the prisoner has alluded, but with which you + are necessarily unacquainted. If you doubt the evidence, whether of one + witness or of all, the prisoner must receive from you the benefit of that + doubt. If not, you are sworn to a solemn oath, which ordains you to forego + all minor considerations,—which compels you to watch narrowly that + you be not influenced by the infirmities natural to us all, but criminal + in you, to lean towards the side of a mercy that would be rendered by your + oath a perjury to God, and by your duty as impartial citizens a treason to + your country. I dismiss you to the grave consideration of the important + case you have heard; and I trust that He to whom all hearts are open and + all secrets are known, will grant you the temper and the judgment to form + a right decision!” + </p> + <p> + There was in the majestic aspect and thrilling voice of Brandon something + which made the commonest form of words solemn and impressive; and the + hypocrite, aware of this felicity of manner, generally, as now, added + weight to his concluding words by a religious allusion or a Scriptural + phraseology. He ceased; and the jury, recovering the effect of his + adjuration, consulted for a moment among themselves. The foreman then, + addressing the court on behalf of his fellow-jurors, requested leave to + retire for deliberation. An attendant bailiff being sworn in, we read in + the journals of the day, which noted the divisions of time with that + customary scrupulosity rendered terrible by the reflection how soon all + time and seasons may perish for the hero of the scene, that “it was at + twenty-five minutes to two that the jury withdrew.” + </p> + <p> + Perhaps in the whole course of a criminal trial there is no period more + awful than that occupied by the deliberation of the jury. In the present + case the prisoner, as if acutely sensible of his situation, remained in + the rear of the dock, and buried his face in his hands. They who stood + near him observed, however, that his breast did not seem to swell with the + convulsive emotion customary to persons in his state, and that not even a + sigh or agitated movement escaped him. The jury had been absent about + twenty minutes, when a confused noise was heard in the court. The face of + the judge turned in commanding severity towards the quarter whence it + proceeded. He perceived a man of a coarse garb and mean appearance + endeavouring rudely and violently to push his way through the crowd + towards the bench, and at the same instant he saw one of the officers of + the court approaching the disturber of its tranquillity with no friendly + intent. The man, aware of the purpose of the constable, exclaimed with + great vehemence, “I vill give this to my lord the judge, blow me if I + von't!” and as he spoke he raised high above his head a soiled scrap of + paper folded awkwardly in the shape of a letter. The instant Brandon's eye + caught the rugged features of the intrusive stranger, he motioned with + rather less than his usual slowness of gesture to one of his official + satellites. “Bring me that paper instantly!” he whispered. + </p> + <p> + The officer bowed and obeyed. The man, who seemed a little intoxicated, + gave it with a look of ludicrous triumph and self-importance. + </p> + <p> + “Stand avay, man!” he added to the constable, who now laid hand on his + collar. “You'll see vot the judge says to that 'ere bit of paper; and so + vill the prisoner, poor fellow!” + </p> + <p> + This scene, so unworthy the dignity of the court, attracted the notice and + (immediately around the intruder) the merriment of the crowd; and many an + eye was directed towards Brandon, as with calm gravity he opened the note + and glanced over the contents. In a large school-boy hand-it was the hand + of Long Ned—were written these few words: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + MY LORD JUDGE,—I make bold to beg you will do all you can for the + prisoner at the barre, as he is no other than the “Paul” I spoke to + your Worship about. You know what I mean. + + DUMMIE DUNNAKER. +</pre> + <p> + As he read this note, the judge's head was observed to droop suddenly, as + if by a sickness or a spasm; but he recovered himself instantly, and + whispering the officer who brought him the note, said, “See that that + madman be immediately removed from the court, and lock him up alone. He is + so deranged as to be dangerous!” + </p> + <p> + The officer lost not a moment in seeing the order executed. Three stout + constables dragged the astounded Dummie from the court in an instant, yet + the more ruthlessly for his ejaculating,— + </p> + <p> + “Eh, sirs, what's this? I tells you I have saved the judge's hown flesh + and blood! Vy, now, gently, there; you'll smart for this, my fine fellow! + Never you mind, Paul, my 'arty; I 'se done you a pure good—” + </p> + <p> + “Silence!” proclaimed the voice of the judge; and that voice came forth + with so commanding a tone of power that it awed Dummie, despite his + intoxication. In a moment more, and ere he had time to recover, he was + without the court. During this strange hubbub, which nevertheless scarcely + lasted above two or three minutes, the prisoner had not once lifted his + head, nor appeared aroused in any manner from his revery; and scarcely had + the intruder been withdrawn before the jury returned. + </p> + <p> + The verdict was, as all had foreseen, “Guilty;” but it was coupled with a + strong recommendation to mercy. + </p> + <p> + The prisoner was then asked, in the usual form, whether he had to say + anything why sentence of death should not be passed against him. + </p> + <p> + As these dread words struck upon his ear, slowly the prisoner rose. He + directed first towards the jury a brief and keen glance, and his eyes then + rested full, and with a stern significance, on the face of his judge. + </p> + <p> + “My lord,” he began, “I have but one reason to advance against the + sentence of the law. If you have interest to prevent or mitigate it, that + reason will, I think, suffice to enlist you on my behalf. I said that the + first cause of those offences against the law which brings me to this bar + was the committing me to prison on a charge of which I was wholly + innocent! My lord judge, you were the man who accused me of that charge, + and subjected me to that imprisonment! Look at me well, my lord, and you + may trace in the countenance of the hardened felon you are about to + adjudge to death the features of a boy whom, some seven years ago, you + accused before a London magistrate of the theft of your watch. On the oath + of a man who has one step on the threshold of death, the accusation was + unjust. And, fit minister of the laws you represent! you, who will now + pass my doom,—You were the cause of my crimes! My lord, I have done. + I am ready to add another to the long and dark list of victims who are + first polluted and then sacrificed by the blindness and the injustice of + human codes!” + </p> + <p> + While Clifford spoke, every eye turned from him to the judge, and every + one was appalled by the ghastly and fearful change which had fallen over + Brandon's face. Men said, afterwards, that they saw written there, in + terrible distinctness, the characters of death; and there certainly seemed + something awful and preternatural in the bloodless and haggard calmness of + his proud features. Yet his eye did not quail, nor the muscles of his lip + quiver; and with even more than his wonted loftiness, he met the regard of + the prisoner. But, as alone conspicuous throughout the motionless and + breathless crowd the judge and criminal gazed upon each other, and as the + eyes of the spectators wandered on each, a thrilling and electric + impression of a powerful likeness between the doomed and the doomer, for + the first time in the trial, struck upon the audience, and increased, + though they scarcely knew why, the sensation of pain and dread which the + prisoner's last words excited. Perhaps it might have chiefly arisen from a + common expression of fierce emotion conquered by an iron and stern + character of mind; or perhaps, now that the ashy paleness of exhaustion + had succeeded the excited flush on the prisoner's face, the similarity of + complexion thus obtained made the likeness more obvious than before; or + perhaps the spectators had not hitherto fixed so searching, or, if we may + so speak, so alternating a gaze upon the two. However that be, the + resemblance between the men, placed as they were in such widely different + circumstances,—that resemblance which, as we have hinted, had at + certain moments occurred startlingly to Lucy,—was plain and + unavoidably striking: the same the dark hue of their complexions; the same + the haughty and Roman outline of their faces; the same the height of the + forehead; the same even a displeasing and sarcastic rigidity of mouth, + which made the most conspicuous feature in Brandon, and which was the only + point that deteriorated from the singular beauty of Clifford. But, above + all, the same inflexible, defying, stubborn spirit, though in Brandon it + assumed the stately cast of majesty, and in Clifford it seemed the + desperate sternness of the bravo, stamped itself in both. Though Clifford + ceased, he did not resume his seat, but stood in the same attitude as that + in which he had reversed the order of things, and merged the petitioner in + the accuser; and Brandon himself, without speaking or moving, continued + still to survey him; so, with erect fronts and marble countenances, in + which what was defying and resolute did not altogether quell the mortal + leaven of pain and dread, they looked as might have looked the two men in + the Eastern story who had the power of gazing each other unto death. + </p> + <p> + What at that moment was raging in Brandon's heart, it is in vain to guess. + He doubted not for a moment that he beheld before him his long lost, his + anxiously demanded son! Every fibre, every corner of his complex and + gloomy soul, that certainly reached, and blasted with a hideous and + irresistible glare. The earliest, perhaps the strongest, though often the + least acknowledged principle of his mind was the desire to rebuild the + fallen honours of his house; its last scion he now beheld before him, + covered with the darkest ignominies of the law! He had coveted worldly + honours; he beheld their legitimate successor in a convicted felon! He had + garnered the few affections he had spared from the objects of pride and + ambition, in his son. That son he was about to adjudge to the gibbet and + the hangman! Of late he had increased the hopes of regaining his lost + treasure, even to an exultant certainty. Lo! the hopes were accomplished! + How? With these thoughts warring, in what manner we dare not even by an + epithet express, within him, we may cast one hasty glance on the horror of + aggravation they endured, when he heard the prisoner accuse Him as the + cause of his present doom, and felt himself at once the murderer and the + judge of his son! + </p> + <p> + Minutes had elapsed since the voice of the prisoner ceased; and Brandon + now drew forth the black cap. As he placed it slowly over his brows, the + increasing and corpse-like whiteness of his face became more glaringly + visible, by the contrast which this dread head-gear presented. Twice as he + essayed to speak his voice failed him, and an indistinct murmur came forth + from his hueless lips, and died away like a fitful and feeble wind. But + with the third effort the resolution and long self-tyranny of the man + conquered, and his voice went clear and unfaltering through the crowd, + although the severe sweetness of its wonted tones was gone, and it sounded + strange and hollow on the ears that drank it. + </p> + <p> + “Prisoner at the bar! it has become my duty to announce to you the close + of your mortal career. You have been accused of a daring robbery, and + after an impartial trial a jury of your countrymen and the laws of your + country have decided against you. The recommendation to mercy” (here, only + throughout his speech, Brandon gasped convulsively for breath) “so + humanely added by the jury, shall be forwarded to the supreme power; but I + cannot flatter you with much hope of its success.” (The lawyers looked + with some surprise at each other; they had expected a far more unqualified + mandate, to abjure all hope from the jury's recommendation.) “Prisoner, + for the opinions you have expressed, you are now only answerable to your + God; I forbear to arraign them. For the charge you have made against me, + whether true or false, and for the anguish it has given me, may you find + pardon at another tribunal! It remains for me only—under a reserve + too slight, as I have said, to afford you a fair promise of hope—only + to—to” (all eyes were on Brandon; he felt it, exerted himself for a + last effort, and proceeded)—“to pronounce on you the sharp sentence + of the law! It is, that you be taken back to the prison whence you came, + and thence (when the supreme authority shall appoint) to the place of + execution, to be there hanged by the neck till you are dead; and the Lord + God Almighty have mercy on your soul!” + </p> + <p> + With this address concluded that eventful trial; and while the crowd, in + rushing and noisy tumult, bore towards the door, Brandon, concealing to + the last with a Spartan bravery the anguish which was gnawing at his + entrails, retired from the awful pageant. For the next half-hour he was + locked up with the strange intruder on the proceedings of the court. At + the end of that time the stranger was dismissed; and in about double the + same period Brandon's servant re-admitted him, accompanied by another man, + with a slouched hat and in a carman's frock. The reader need not be told + that the new comer was the friendly Ned, whose testimony was indeed a + valuable corroborative to Dummie's, and whose regard for Clifford, aided + by an appetite for rewards, had induced him to venture to the town of + ——-, although he tarried concealed in a safe suburb, until + reassured by a written promise from Brandon of safety to his person, and a + sum for which we might almost doubt whether he would not have consented + (so long had he been mistaking means for an end) to be hanged himself. + Brandon listened to the details of these confederates; and when they had + finished, he addressed them thus: “I have heard you, and am convinced you + are liars and impostors. There is the money I promised you” (throwing down + a pocket-book),—“take it; and, hark you, if ever you dare whisper, + ay, but a breath of the atrocious lie you have now forged, be sure I will + have you dragged from the recess or nook of infamy in which you may hide + your heads, and hanged for the crimes you have already committed. I am not + the man to break my word. Begone! quit this town instantly! If in two + hours hence you are found here, your blood be on your own heads! Begone, I + say!” + </p> + <p> + These words, aided by a countenance well adapted at all times to + expressions of a menacing and ruthless character, at once astounded and + appalled the accomplices. They left the room in hasty confusion; and + Brandon, now alone, walked with uneven steps (the alarming weakness and + vacillation of which he did not himself feel) to and fro the apartment. + The hell of his breast was stamped upon his features, but he uttered only + one thought aloud,— + </p> + <p> + “I may,—yes, yes,—I may yet conceal this disgrace to my name!” + </p> + <p> + His servant tapped at the door to say that the carriage was ready, and + that Lord Mauleverer had bid him remind his master that they dined + punctually at the hour appointed. + </p> + <p> + “I am coming!” said Brandon, with a slow and startling emphasis on each + word. But he first sat down and wrote a letter to the official quarter, + strongly aiding the recommendation of the Jury; and we may conceive how + pride clung to him to the last, when he urged the substitution for death + of transportation for life! As soon as he had sealed this letter, he + summoned an express, gave his orders coolly and distinctly, and attempted + with his usual stateliness of step to walk through a long passage which + led to the outer door. He found himself fail. “Come hither,” he said to + his servant, “give me your arm!” + </p> + <p> + All Brandon's domestics, save the one left with Lucy, stood in awe of him; + and it was with some hesitation that his servant ventured to inquire if + his master felt well. + </p> + <p> + Brandon looked at him, but made no reply. He entered his carriage with + slight difficulty, and telling the coachman to drive as fast as possible, + pulled down (a general custom with him) all the blinds of the windows. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile Lord Mauleverer, with six friends, was impatiently awaiting the + arrival of the seventh guest. + </p> + <p> + “Our August friend tarries!” quoth the Bishop of ———-, + with his hands folded across his capacious stomach. “I fear the turbot + your lordship spoke of may not be the better for the length of the trial.” + </p> + <p> + “Poor fellow!” said the Earl of ————, slightly + yawning. + </p> + <p> + “Whom do you mean?” asked Lord Mauleverer, with a smile,—“the + bishop, the judge, or the turbot?” + </p> + <p> + “Not one of the three, Mauleverer,—I spoke of the prisoner.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, the fine dog! I forgot him,” said Mauleverer. “Really, now you + mention him, I must confess that he inspires me with great compassion; + but, indeed, it is very wrong in him to keep the judge so long!” + </p> + <p> + “Those hardened wretches have such a great deal to say,” mumbled the + bishop, sourly. + </p> + <p> + “True!” said Mauleverer; “a religious rogue would have had some bowels for + the state of the church esurient.” + </p> + <p> + “Is it really true, Mauleverer,” asked the Earl of ———, + “that Brandon is to succeed?” + </p> + <p> + “So I hear,” said Mauleverer. “Heavens, how hungry I am!” + </p> + <p> + A groan from the bishop echoed the complaint. + </p> + <p> + “I suppose it would be against all decorum to sit down to dinner without + him?” said Lord ————. + </p> + <p> + “Why, really, I fear so,” returned Mauleverer. “But our health—our + health is at stake; we will only wait five minutes more. By Jove, there's + the carriage! I beg your pardon for my heathen oath, my lord bishop.” + </p> + <p> + “I forgive you!” said the good bishop, smiling. + </p> + <p> + The party thus engaged in colloquy were stationed at a window opening on + the gravel road, along which the judge's carriage was now seen rapidly + approaching; this window was but a few yards from the porch, and had been + partially opened for the better reconnoitring the approach of the expected + guest. + </p> + <p> + “He keeps the blinds down still! Absence of mind, or shame at + unpunctuality,—which is the cause, Mauleverer?” said one of the + party. + </p> + <p> + “Not shame, I fear!” answered Mauleverer. “Even the indecent immorality of + delaying our dinner could scarcely bring a blush to the parchment skin of + my learned friend.” + </p> + <p> + Here the carriage stopped at the porch; the carriage door was opened. + </p> + <p> + “There seems a strange delay,” said Mauleverer, peevishly. “Why does not + he get out?” + </p> + <p> + As he spoke, a murmur among the attendants, who appeared somewhat + strangely to crowd around the carriage, smote the ears of the party. + </p> + <p> + “What do they say,—what?” said Mauleverer, putting his hand to his + ear. + </p> + <p> + The bishop answered hastily; and Mauleverer, as he heard the reply, forgot + for once his susceptibility to cold, and hurried out to the carriage door. + His guests followed. + </p> + <p> + They found Brandon leaning against the farther corner of the carriage,—a + corpse. One hand held the check-string, as if he had endeavoured + involuntarily but ineffectually to pull it. The right side of his face was + partially distorted, as by convulsion or paralysis; but not sufficiently + so to destroy that remarkable expression of loftiness and severity which + had characterized the features in life. At the same time the distortion + which had drawn up on one side the muscles of the mouth had deepened into + a startling broadness the half sneer of derision that usually lurked + around the lower part of his face. Thus unwitnessed and abrupt had been + the disunion of the clay and spirit of a man who, if he passed through + life a bold, scheming, stubborn, unwavering hypocrite, was not without + something high even amidst his baseness, his selfishness, and his vices; + who seemed less to have loved sin than by some strange perversion of + reason to have disdained virtue, and who, by a solemn and awful suddenness + of fate (for who shall venture to indicate the judgment of the arch and + unseen Providence, even when it appears to mortal eye the least + obscured?), won the dreams, the objects, the triumphs of hope, to be + blasted by them at the moment of acquisition! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0036" id="link2HCH0036"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXVI. + </h2> + <h3> + AND LAST. + </h3> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Subtle, Surly,—Mammon, Dol, + Hot Ananias, Dapper, Dragger,—all + With whom I traded. + The Alchemist. +</pre> + <p> + As when some rural citizen-retired for a fleeting holiday, far from the + cares of the world strepitumque Romae,—[“And the roar of Rome.”]—to + the sweet shades of Pentonville or the remoter plains of Clapham—conducts + some delighted visitor over the intricacies of that Daedalian masterpiece + which he is pleased to call his labyrinth or maze,—now smiling + furtively at his guest's perplexity, now listening with calm superiority + to his futile and erring conjectures, now maliciously accompanying him + through a flattering path in which the baffled adventurer is suddenly + checked by the blank features of a thoroughfareless hedge, now trembling + as he sees the guest stumbling unawares into the right track, and now + relieved as he beholds him after a pause of deliberation wind into the + wrong,—even so, O pleasant reader! doth the sage novelist conduct + thee through the labyrinth of his tale, amusing himself with thy + self-deceits, and spinning forth, in prolix pleasure, the quiet yarn of + his entertainment from the involutions which occasion thy fretting + eagerness and perplexity. But as when, thanks to the host's good-nature or + fatigue, the mystery is once unravelled, and the guest permitted to + penetrate even into the concealed end of the leafy maze, the honest cit, + satisfied with the pleasant pains he has already bestowed upon his + visitor, puts him not to the labour of retracing the steps he hath so + erratically trod, but leads him in three strides, and through a simpler + path, at once to the mouth of the maze, and dismisseth him elsewhere for + entertainment; even so will the prudent narrator, when the intricacies of + his plot are once unfolded, occasion no stale and profitless delays to his + wearied reader, but conduct him, with as much brevity as convenient, + without the labyrinth which has ceased to retain the interest of a secret. + </p> + <p> + We shall therefore, in pursuance of the tit's policy, relate as rapidly as + possible that part of our narrative which yet remains untold. On Brandon's + person was found the paper which had contained so fatal an intelligence of + his son; and when brought to Lord Mauleverer, the words struck that person + (who knew Brandon had been in search of his lost son, whom we have seen + that he had been taught however to suppose illegitimate, though it is + probable that many doubts whether he had not been deceived must have + occurred to his natural sagacity) as sufficiently important to be worth an + inquiry after the writer. Dummie was easily found, for he had not yet + turned his back on the town when the news of the judge's sudden death was + brought back to it; and taking advantage of that circumstance, the + friendly Dunnaker remained altogether in the town (albeit his long + companion deserted it as hastily as might be), and whiled the time by + presenting himself at the jail, and after some ineffectual efforts winning + his way to Clifford. Easily tracked by the name he had given to the + governor of the jail, he was conducted the same day to Lord Mauleverer; + and his narrative, confused as it was, and proceeding even from so + suspicious a quarter, thrilled those digestive organs, which in Mauleverer + stood proxy for a heart, with feelings as much resembling awe and horror + as our good peer was capable of experiencing. Already shocked from his + worldly philosophy of indifference by the death of Brandon, he was more + susceptible to a remorseful and salutary impression at this moment than he + might have been at any other; and he could not, without some twinges of + conscience, think of the ruin he had brought on the mother of the being he + had but just prosecuted to the death. He dismissed Dummie, and after a + little consideration he ordered his carriage, and leaving the funeral + preparations for his friend to the care of his man of business, he set off + for London, and the house, in particular, of the Secretary of the Home + Department. We would not willingly wrong the noble penitent; but we + venture a suspicion that he might not have preferred a personal + application for mercy to the prisoner to a written one, had he not felt + certain unpleasant qualms in remaining in a country-house overshadowed by + ceremonies so gloomy as those of death. The letter of Brandon and the + application of Mauleverer obtained for Clifford a relaxation of his + sentence. He was left for perpetual transportation. A ship was already + about to sail; and Mauleverer, content with having saved his life, was by + no means anxious that his departure from the country should be saddled + with any superfluous delay. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile the first rumour that reached London respecting Brandon's fate + was that he had been found in a fit, and was lying dangerously ill at + Mauleverer's; and before the second and more fatally sure report arrived, + Lucy had gathered from the visible dismay of Barlow, whom she anxiously + cross-questioned, and who, really loving his master, was easily affected + into communication, the first and more flattering intelligence. To + Barlow's secret delight, she insisted instantly on setting off to the + supposed sick man; and accompanied by Barlow and her woman, the + affectionate girl hastened to Mauleverer's house on the evening after the + day the earl left it. Lucy had not proceeded far before Barlow learned, + from the gossip of the road, the real state of the case. Indeed, it was at + the first stage that with a mournful countenance he approached the door of + the carriage, and announcing the inutility of proceeding farther, begged + of Lucy to turn back. So soon as Miss Brandon had overcome the first shock + which this intelligence gave her, she said with calmness,— + </p> + <p> + “Well, Barlow, if it be so, we have still a duty to perform. Tell the + postboys to drive on!” + </p> + <p> + “Indeed, madam, I cannot see what use it can be fretting yourself,—and + you so poorly. If you will let me go, I will see every attention paid to + the remains of my poor master.” + </p> + <p> + “When my father lay dead,” said Lucy, with a grave and sad sternness in + her manner, “he who is now no more sent no proxy to perform the last + duties of a brother; neither will I send one to discharge those of a + niece, and prove that I have forgotten the gratitude of a daughter. Drive + on!” + </p> + <p> + We have said that there were times when a spirit was stricken from Lucy + little common to her in general; and now the command of her uncle sat upon + her brow. On sped the horses, and for several minutes Lucy remained + silent. Her woman did not dare to speak. At length Miss Brandon turned, + and, covering her face with her hands, burst into tears so violent that + they alarmed her attendant even more than her previous stillness. “My + poor, poor uncle!” she sobbed; and those were all her words. + </p> + <p> + We must pass over Lucy's arrival at Lord Mauleverer's house; we must pass + over the weary days which elapsed till that unconscious body was consigned + to dust with which, could it have retained yet one spark of its haughty + spirit, it would have refused to blend its atoms. She had loved the + deceased incomparably beyond his merits, and resisting all remonstrance to + the contrary and all the forms of ordinary custom, she witnessed herself + the dreary ceremony which bequeathed the human remains of William Brandon + to repose and to the worm. On that same day Clifford received the + mitigation of his sentence, and on that day another trial awaited Lucy. We + think briefly to convey to the reader what that scene was; we need only + observe that Dummie Dunnaker, decoyed by his great love for little Paul, + whom he delightedly said he found not the least “stuck up by his great + fame and helewation,” still lingered in the town, and was not only aware + of the relationship of the cousins, but had gleaned from Long Ned, as they + journeyed down to ———, the affection entertained by + Clifford for Lucy. Of the manner in which the communication reached Lucy, + we need not speak; suffice it to say, that on the day in which she had + performed the last duty to her uncle, she learned for the first time her + lover's situation. + </p> + <p> + On that evening, in the convict's cell, the cousins met. + </p> + <p> + Their conference was low, for the jailer stood within hearing; and it was + broken by Lucy's convulsive sobs. But the voice of one whose iron nerves + were not unworthy of the offspring of William Brandon, was clear and + audible to her ear, even though uttered in a whisper that scarcely stirred + his lips. It seemed as if Lucy, smitten to the inmost heart by the + generosity with which her lover had torn himself from her at the time that + her wealth might have raised him in any other country far above the perils + and the crimes of his career in this; perceiving now, for the first time, + and in all their force, the causes of his mysterious conduct; melted by + their relationship, and forgetting herself utterly in the desolation and + dark situation in which she beheld one who, whatever his crimes, had not + been criminal towards her;—it seemed as if, carried away by these + emotions, she had yielded altogether to the fondness and devotion of her + nature,—that she had wished to leave home and friends and fortune, + and share with him his punishment and his shame. + </p> + <p> + “Why,” she faltered,—“why—why not? We are all that is left to + each other in the world! Your father and mine were brothers; let me be to + you as a sister. What is there left for me here? Not one being whom I + love, or who cares for me,—not one!” + </p> + <p> + It was then that Clifford summoned all his courage, as he answered. + Perhaps, now that he felt (though here his knowledge was necessarily + confused and imperfect) his birth was not unequal to hers; now that he + read, or believed he read, in her wan cheek and attenuated frame that + desertion to her was death, and that generosity and self-sacrifice had + become too late,—perhaps these thoughts, concurring with a love in + himself beyond all words, and a love in her which it was above humanity to + resist, altogether conquered and subdued him. Yet, as we have said, his + voice breathed calmly in her ear; and his eye only, which brightened with + a steady and resolute hope, betrayed his mind. “Live, then!” said he, as + he concluded. “My sister, my mistress, my bride, live! In one year from + this day—I repeat—I promise it thee!” + </p> + <p> + The interview was over, and Lucy returned home with a firm step. She was + on foot. The rain fell in torrents, yet even in her precarious state her + health suffered not; and when within a week from that time she read that + Clifford had departed to the bourne of his punishment, she read the news + with a steady eye and a lip that, if it grew paler, did not quiver. + </p> + <p> + Shortly after that time Miss Brandon departed to an obscure town by the + seaside; and there, refusing all society, she continued to reside. As the + birth of Clifford was known but to few, and his legitimacy was unsuspected + by all except, perhaps, by Mauleverer, Lucy succeeded to the great wealth + of her uncle; and this circumstance made her more than ever an object of + attraction in the eyes of her noble adorer. Finding himself unable to see + her, he wrote to her more than one moving epistle; but as Lucy continued + inflexible, he at length, disgusted by her want of taste, ceased his + pursuit, and resigned himself to the continued sterility of unwedded life. + As the months waned, Miss Brandon seemed to grow weary of her retreat; and + immediately on attaining her majority, which she did about eight months + after Brandon's death, she transferred the bulk of her wealth to France, + where it was understood (for it was impossible that rumour should sleep + upon an heiress and a beauty) that she intended in future to reside. Even + Warlock (that spell to the proud heart of her uncle) she ceased to retain. + It was offered to the nearest relation of the family at a sum which he did + not hesitate to close with; and by the common vicissitudes of Fortune, the + estate of the ancient Brandons has now, we perceive by a weekly journal, + just passed into the hands of a wealthy alderman. + </p> + <p> + It was nearly a year since Brandon's death when a letter bearing a foreign + postmark came to Lucy. From that time her spirits—which before, + though subject to fits of abstraction, had been even and subdued, not sad—rose + into all the cheerfulness and vivacity of her earliest youth. She busied + herself actively in preparations for her departure from this country; and + at length the day was fixed, and the vessel was engaged. Every day till + that one, did Lucy walk to the seaside, and ascending the highest cliff, + spend hours, till the evening closed, in watching, with seemingly idle + gaze, the vessels that interspersed the sea; and with every day her health + seemed to strengthen, and the soft and lucid colour she had once worn, to + rebloom upon her cheek. + </p> + <p> + Previous to her departure Miss Brandon dismissed her servants, and only + engaged one female, a foreigner, to accompany her. A certain tone of quiet + command, formerly unknown to her, characterized these measures, so + daringly independent for one of her sex and age. The day arrived,—it + was the anniversary of her last interview with Clifford. On entering the + vessel it was observed that she trembled violently, and that her face was + as pale as death. A stranger, who had stood aloof wrapped in his cloak, + darted forward to assist her; that was the last which her discarded and + weeping servants beheld of her from the pier where they stood to gaze. + </p> + <p> + Nothing more in this country was ever known of the fate of Lucy Brandon; + and as her circle of acquaintances was narrow, and interest in her fate + existed vividly in none save a few humble breasts, conjecture was never + keenly awakened, and soon cooled into forgetfulness. If it favoured, after + the lapse of years, any one notion more than another, it was that she had + perished among the victims of the French Revolution. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile let us glance over the destinies of our more subordinate + acquaintances. + </p> + <p> + Augustus Tomlinson, on parting from Long Ned, had succeeded in reaching + Calais; and after a rapid tour through the Continent, he ultimately betook + himself to a certain literary city in Germany, where he became + distinguished for his metaphysical acumen, and opened a school of morals + on the Grecian model, taught in the French tongue. He managed, by the + patronage he received and the pupils he enlightened, to obtain a very + decent income; and as he wrote a folio against Locke, proved that men had + innate feelings, and affirmed that we should refer everything not to + reason, but to the sentiments of the soul, he became greatly respected for + his extraordinary virtue. Some little discoveries were made after his + death, which perhaps would have somewhat diminished the general odour of + his sanctity, had not the admirers of his school carefully hushed up the + matter, probably out of respect for the “sentiments of the soul!” + </p> + <p> + Pepper, whom the police did not so anxiously desire to destroy as they did + his two companions, might have managed, perhaps many years longer, to + graze upon the public commons, had not a letter, written somewhat + imprudently, fallen into wrong hands. This, though after creating a + certain stir it apparently died away, lived in the memory of the police, + and finally conspired, with various peccadilloes, to produce his downfall. + He was seized, tried, and sentenced to seven years' transportation. He so + advantageously employed his time at Botany Bay, and arranged things there + so comfortably to himself, that at the expiration of his sentence he + refused to return home. He made an excellent match, built himself an + excellent house, and remained in “the land of the blest” to the end of his + days, noted to the last for the redundance of his hair and a certain + ferocious coxcombry of aspect. + </p> + <p> + As for Fighting Attie and Gentleman George, for Scarlet Jem and for Old + Bags, we confess ourselves destitute of any certain information of their + latter ends. We can only add, with regard to Fighting Attie, “Good luck be + with him wherever he goes!” and for mine host of the Jolly Angler, that, + though we have not the physical constitution to quaff “a bumper of blue + ruin,” we shall be very happy, over any tolerable wine and in company with + any agreeable convivialist, to bear our part in the polished chorus of— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Here's to Gentleman George, God bless him!” + </pre> + <p> + Mrs. Lobkins departed this life like a lamb; and Dummie Dunnaker obtained + a license to carry on the business at Thames Court. He boasted, to the + last, of his acquaintance with the great Captain Lovett, and of the + affability with which that distinguished personage treated him. Stories he + had, too, about Judge Brandon, but no one believed a syllable of them; and + Dummie, indignant at the disbelief, increased, out of vehemence, the + marvel of the stories, so that, at length, what was added almost swallowed + up what was original, and Dummie himself might have been puzzled to + satisfy his own conscience as to what was false and what was true. + </p> + <p> + The erudite Peter MacGrawler, returning to Scotland, disappeared by the + road. A person singularly resembling the sage was afterward seen at + Carlisle, where he discharged the useful and praiseworthy duties of Jack + Ketch. But whether or not this respectable functionary was our identical + Simon Pure, our ex-editor of “The Asinaeum,” we will not take upon + ourselves to assert. + </p> + <p> + Lord Mauleverer, finally resolving on a single life, passed the remainder + of his years in indolent tranquillity. When he died, the newspapers + asserted that his Majesty was deeply affected by the loss of so old and + valued a friend. His furniture and wines sold remarkably high; and a Great + Man, his particular intimate, who purchased his books, startled to find, + by pencil marks, that the noble deceased had read some of them, exclaimed, + not altogether without truth, + </p> + <p> + “Ah! Mauleverer might have been a deuced clever fellow—if he had + liked it!” + </p> + <p> + The earl was accustomed to show as a curiosity a ring of great value, + which he had received in rather a singular manner. One morning a packet + was brought him which he found to contain a sum of money, the ring + mentioned, and a letter from the notorious Lovett, in which that person in + begging to return his lordship the sums of which he had twice assisted to + rob him, thanked him, with earnest warmth, for the consideration testified + towards him in not revealing his identity with Captain Clifford; and + ventured, as a slight testimony of respect, to inclose the aforesaid ring + with the sum returned. + </p> + <p> + About the time Mauleverer received this curious packet, several anecdotes + of a similar nature appeared in the public journals; and it seemed that + Lovett had acted upon a general principle of restitution,—not + always, it must be allowed, the offspring of a robber's repentance. While + the idle were marvelling at these anecdotes, came the tardy news that + Lovett, after a single month's sojourn at his place of condemnation, had, + in the most daring and singular manner, effected his escape. Whether, in + his progress up the country, he had been starved or slain by the natives, + or whether, more fortunate, he had ultimately found the means of crossing + seas, was as yet unknown. There ended the adventures of the gallant + robber; and thus, by a strange coincidence, the same mystery which wrapped + the fate of Lucy involved also that of her lover. And here, kind reader, + might we drop the curtain on our closing scene, did we not think it might + please thee to hold it up yet one moment, and give thee another view of + the world behind. + </p> + <p> + In a certain town of that Great Country where shoes are imperfectly + polished—[See Captain Hall's late work on America]—and + opinions are not prosecuted, there resided, twenty years after the date of + Lucy Brandon's departure from England, a man held in high and universal + respect, not only for the rectitude of his conduct, but for the energies + of his mind, and the purposes to which they were directed. If you asked + who cultivated that waste, the answer was, “Clifford!” who procured the + establishment of that hospital, “Clifford!” who obtained the redress of + such a public grievance, “Clifford!” who struggled for and won such a + popular benefit, “Clifford!” In the gentler part of his projects and his + undertakings—in that part, above all, which concerned the sick or + the necessitous—this useful citizen was seconded, or rather + excelled, by a being over whose surpassing loveliness Time seemed to have + flown with a gentle and charming wing. There was something remarkable and + touching in the love which this couple (for the woman we refer to was + Clifford's wife) bore to each other; like the plant on the plains of + Hebron, the time which brought to that love an additional strength brought + to it also a softer and a fresher verdure. Although their present + neighbours were unacquainted with the events of their earlier life + previous to their settlement at —————, it + was known that they had been wealthy at the time they first came to reside + there, and that, by a series of fatalities, they had lost all. But + Clifford had borne up manfully against fortune; and in a new country, + where men who prefer labour to dependence cannot easily starve, he had + been enabled to toil upward through the severe stages of poverty and + hardship with an honesty and vigour of character which won him, perhaps, a + more hearty esteem for every successive effort than the display of his + lost riches might ever have acquired him. His labours and his abilities + obtained gradual but sure success; and he now enjoyed the blessings of a + competence earned with the most scrupulous integrity, and spent with the + most kindly benevolence. A trace of the trials they had passed through was + discernible in each; those trials had stolen the rose from the wife's + cheek, and had sown untimely wrinkles in the broad brow of Clifford. There + were moments, too, but they were only moments, when the latter sank from + his wonted elastic and healthful cheerfulness of mind into a gloomy and + abstracted revery; but these moments the wife watched with a jealous and + fond anxiety, and one sound of her sweet voice had the power to dispel + their influence; and when Clifford raised his eyes, and glanced from her + tender smile around his happy home and his growing children, or beheld + through the very windows of his room the public benefits he had created, + something of pride and gladness glowed on his countenance, and he said, + though with glistening eyes and subdued voice, as his looks returned once + more to his wife, “I owe these to thee!” + </p> + <p> + One trait of mind especially characterized Clifford,—indulgence to + the faults of others. “Circumstances make guilt,” he was wont to say; “let + us endeavour to correct the circumstances, before we rail against the + guilt!” His children promised to tread in the same useful and honourable + path that he trod himself. Happy was considered that family which had the + hope to ally itself with his. + </p> + <p> + Such was the after-fate of Clifford and Lucy. Who will condemn us for + preferring the moral of that fate to the moral which is extorted from the + gibbet and the hulks,—which makes scarecrows, not beacons; terrifies + our weakness, not warms our reason. Who does not allow that it is better + to repair than to perish,—better, too, to atone as the citizen than + to repent as the hermit? Oh, John Wilkes, Alderman of London, and + Drawcansir of Liberty, your life was not an iota too perfect,—your + patriotism might have been infinitely purer, your morals would have + admitted indefinite amendment, you are no great favourite with us or with + the rest of the world,—but you said one excellent thing, for which + we look on you with benevolence, nay, almost with respect. We scarcely + know whether to smile at its wit or to sigh at its wisdom. Mark this + truth, all ye gentlemen of England who would make law as the Romans made + fasces,—a bundle of rods with an axe in the middle,—mark it, + and remember! long may it live, allied with hope in ourselves, but with + gratitude in our children,—long after the book which it now “adorns” + and “points” has gone to its dusty slumber,—long, long after the + feverish hand which now writes it down can defend or enforce it no more: + “THE VERY WORST USE TO WHICH YOU CAN PUT A MAN IS TO HANG HIM!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + NOTE. +</pre> + <p> + In the second edition of this novel there were here inserted two + “characters” of “Fighting Attie” and “Gentleman George,” omitted in the + subsequent edition published by Mr. Bentley in the “Standard Novels.” At + the request of some admirers of those eminent personages, who considered + the biographical sketches referred to impartial in themselves, and + contributing to the completeness of the design for which men so + illustrious were introduced, they are here retained, though in the more + honourable form of a separate and supplementary notice. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + FIGHTING ATTIE. +</pre> + <p> + When he dies, the road will have lost a great man, whose foot was rarely + out of his stirrup, and whose clear head guided a bold hand. He carried + common-sense to its perfection, and he made the straight path the + sublimest. His words were few, his actions were many. He was the Spartan + of Tobymen, and laconism was the short soul of his professional + legislation! + </p> + <p> + Whatever way you view him, you see those properties of mind which command + fortune; few thoughts not confusing each other,—simple elements, and + bold. His character in action maybe summed in two phrases,—“a fact + seized, and a stroke made.” Had his intellect been more luxurious, his + resolution might have been less hardy; and his hardiness made his + greatness. He was one of those who shine but in action,—chimneys (to + adapt the simile of Sir Thomas More) that seem useless till you light your + fire. So in calm moments you dreamed not of his utility, and only on the + road you were struck dumb with the outbreaking of his genius. Whatever + situation he was called to, you found in hire what you looked for in vain + in others; for his strong sense gave to Attie what long experience ought, + but often fails, to give to its possessors. His energy triumphed over the + sense of novel circumstance, and he broke in a moment through the cobwebs + which entangled lesser natures for years. His eye saw a final result, and + disregarded the detail. He robbed his man without chicanery; and took his + purse by applying for it rather than scheming. If his enemies wish to + detract from his merit,—a merit great, dazzling, and yet solid,—they + may, perhaps, say that his genius fitted him better to continue exploits + than to devise them; and thus that, besides the renown which he may justly + claim, he often wholly engrossed that fame which should have been shared + by others: he took up the enterprise where it ceased at Labour, and + carried it onwards, where it was rewarded with Glory. Even this charge + proves a new merit of address, and lessens not the merit less complicated + the have allowed him before. The fame he has acquired may excite our + emulation; the envy he has not appeased may console us for obscurity. + </p> + <p> + A stanza of Greek poetry—Thus, not too vigorously, translated by Mr. + West,— + </p> + <p> + “But wrapped in error is the human mind, And human bliss is ever insecure—Know + we what fortune shall remain behind? Know we how long the present shall + endure?” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + GENTLEMAN GEORGE. +</pre> + <p> + For thee, Gentleman George, for thee, what conclusive valediction remains? + Alas! since we began the strange and mumming scene wherein first thou went + introduced, the grim foe hath knocked thrice at thy gates; and now, as we + write,—[In 1830]—thou art departed thence,—thou art no + more! A new lord presides to thine easy-chair, a new voice rings from thy + merry board,—thou art forgotten! thou art already, like these pages, + a tale that is told to a memory that retaineth not! Where are thy quips + and cranks; where thy stately coxcombries and thy regal gauds? Thine house + and thy pagoda, thy Gothic chimney and thy Chinese sign-post,—these + yet ask the concluding hand. Thy hand is cold; their completion, and the + enjoyment the completion yields, are for another! Thou sowest, and thy + follower reaps; thou buildest, thy successor holds; thou plantest, and + thine heir sits beneath the shadow of thy trees,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Neque harum, quas colis, arborum + Te, praeter invisas cupressos, + Ulla brevem dominum sequetur!” + + [“Nor will any of these trees thou didst cultivate follow thee, + the shortlived lord, save the hateful Cyprus.”] +</pre> + <p> + At this moment thy life,—for thou veert a Great Man to thine order, + and they have added thy biography to that of Abershaw and Sheppard,—thy + life is before us. What a homily in its events! Gayly didst thou laugh + into thy youth, and run through the courses of thy manhood. Wit sat at thy + table, and Genius was thy comrade. Beauty was thy handmaid; and Frivolity + played around thee,—a buffoon that thou didst ridicule, and + ridiculing enjoy! Who among us can look back to thy brilliant era, and not + sigh to think that the wonderful men who surrounded thee, and amidst whom + thou wert a centre and a nucleus, are for him but the things of history, + and the phantoms of a bodiless tradition? Those brilliant suppers, + glittering with beauty, the memory of which makes one spot (yet inherited + by Bachelor Bill) a haunted and a fairy ground; all who gathered to that + Armida's circle,—the Grammonts and the Beauvilliers and the + Rochefoucaulds of England and the Road,—who does not feel that to + have seen these, though but as Gil Blas saw the festivities of his actors, + from the sideboard and behind the chair, would have been a triumph for the + earthlier feelings of his old age to recall? What, then, must it have been + to have seen them as thou didst see,—thou, the deceased and the + forgotten!—-seen them from the height of thy youth and power and + rank (for early wert thou keeper to a public), and reckless spirits, and + lusty capacities of joy? What pleasures where sense lavished its uncounted + varieties? What revellings where wine was the least excitement? + </p> + <p> + Let the scene shift. How stirring is the change! Triumph and glitter and + conquest! For thy public was a public of renown; thither came the Warriors + of the Ring,—the Heroes of the Cross,—and thou, their patron, + wert elevated on their fame! “Principes pro victoria pugnant, comites pro + Principe.”—[Chiefs for the victory fight,—for chiefs the + soldiers]—What visions sweep across us! What glories didst thou + witness! Over what conquests didst thou preside! The mightiest epoch, the + most wonderful events which the world, thy world, ever knew,—of + these was it not indeed, and dazzlingly thine,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “To share the triumph and partake the gale”? +</pre> + <p> + Let the scene shift. Manhood is touched by age; but Lust is “heeled” by + Luxury, and Pomp is the heir of Pleasure; gewgaws and gaud, instead of + glory, surround, rejoice, and flatter thee to the last. There rise thy + buildings; there lie, secret but gorgeous, the tabernacles of thine ease; + and the earnings of thy friends, and the riches of the people whom they + plunder, are waters to thine imperial whirlpool. Thou art lapped in ease, + as is a silkworm; and profusion flows from thy high and unseen asylum as + the rain poureth from a cloud.—Much didst thou do to beautify + chimney-tops, much to adorn the snuggeries where thou didst dwell. + Thieving with thee took a substantial shape; and the robberies Of the + public passed into a metempsychosis of mortar, and became public-houses. + So there and thus, building and planning, didst thou spin out thy latter + yarn, till Death came upon thee; and when we looked around, lo! thy + brother was on thy hearth. And thy parasites and thy comrades and thine + ancient pals and thy portly blowens, they made a murmur, and they packed + up their goods; but they turned ere they departed, and they would have + worshipped thy brother as they worshipped thee,—but he would not! + And thy sign-post is gone and mouldered already; and to the Jolly Angler + has succeeded the Jolly Tar! And thy picture is disappearing fast from the + print-shops, and thy name from the mouths of men! And thy brother, whom no + one praised while thou didst live, is on a steeple of panegyric built + above the churchyard that contains thy grave. O shifting and volatile + hearts of men! Who would be keeper of a public? Who dispense the wine and + the juices that gladden, when the moment the pulse of the band ceases, the + wine and the juices are forgotten? + </p> + <p> + To History,—for thy name will be preserved in that record which, + whether it be the calendar of Newgate or of nations, telleth its alike how + men suffer and sin and perish,—to History we leave the sum and + balance of thy merits and thy faults. The sins that were thine were those + of the man to whom pleasure is all in all: thou wert, from root to branch, + sap and in heart, what moralists term the libertine; hence the light + wooing, the quick desertion, the broken faith, the organized perfidy, that + manifested thy bearing to those gentler creatures who called thee + 'Gentleman George.' Never to one solitary woman, until the last dull flame + of thy dotage, didst thou so behave as to give no foundation to complaint + and no voice to wrong. But who shall say be honest to one, but laugh at + perfidy to another? Who shall wholly confine treachery to one sex, if to + that sex he hold treachery no offence? So in thee, as in all thy tribe, + there was a laxness of principle, an insincerity of faith, even unto men: + thy friends, when occasion suited, thou couldst forsake; and thy luxuries + were dearer to thee than justice to those who supplied them. Men who love + and live for pleasure as thou, are usually good-natured; for their + devotion to pleasure arises from the strength of their constitution, and + the strength of their constitution preserves them from the irritations of + weaker nerves. So went thou good-natured and often generous; and often + with thy generosity didst thou unite a delicacy that showed thou hadst an + original and a tender sympathy with men. But as those who pursue pleasure + are above all others impatient of interruption, so to such as interfered + with thy main pursuit thou didst testify a deep, a lasting, and a + revengeful anger. Yet let not such vices of temperament be too severely + judged! For to thee were given man's two most persuasive tempters, + physical and moral,—Health and Power! Thy talents, such as they + were,—and they were the talents of a man of the world,—misled + rather than guided thee, for they gave thy mind that demi-philosophy, that + indifference to exalted motives, which is generally found in a clever + rake. Thy education was wretched; thou hadst a smattering of Horace, but + thou couldst not write English, and thy letters betray that thou went + wofully ignorant of logic. The fineness of thy taste has been exaggerated; + thou wert unacquainted with the nobleness of simplicity; thy idea of a + whole was grotesque and overloaded, and thy fancy in details was gaudy and + meretricious. But thou hadst thy hand constantly in the public purse, and + thou hadst plans and advisers forever before thee; more than all, thou + didst find the houses in that neighbourbood wherein thou didst build, so + preternaturally hideous that thou didst require but little science to be + less frightful in thy creations. If thou didst not improve thy native + village and thy various homes with a solid, a lofty, and a noble taste, + thou didst nevertheless very singularly improve. And thy posterity, in + avoiding the faults of thy masonry, will be grateful for the effects of + thy ambition. The same demi-philosophy which influenced thee in private + life exercised a far benigner and happier power over thee in public. Thou + wert not idly vexatious in vestries, nor ordinarily tyrannic in thy + parish; if thou wert ever arbitrary it was only when thy pleasure was + checked, or thy vanity wounded. At other times thou didst leave events to + their legitimate course, so that in thy latter years thou wert justly + popular in thy parish; and in the grave thy great good fortune will + outshine thy few bad qualities, and men will say of thee with a kindly, + not an erring judgment, “In private life he was not worse than the Rufers + who came to this bar; in public life he was better than those who kept a + public before him.” Hark! those huzzas! what is the burden of that chorus? + Oh, grateful and never time-serving Britons, have ye modified already for + another the song ye made so solely in honour of Gentleman George: and must + we, lest we lose the custom of the public and the good things of the + tap-room,—roust we roar with throats yet hoarse with our fervour for + the old words, our ardour for the new— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Here's to Mariner Bill, God bless him! + God bless him! + God bless him! + Here 's to Mariner Bill, God bless him!” + </pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0040" id="link2H_4_0040"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + TOMLINSONIANA; + </h2> + <h3> + OR, + </h3> + <p> + THE POSTHUMOUS WRITINGS OF THE CELEBRATED AUGUSTUS TOMLINSON, PROFESSOR OF + MORAL PHILOSOPHY IN THE UNIVERSITY OF ———- ADDRESSED TO + HIS PUPILS, AND COMPRISING + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + I + MAXIMS ON THE POPULAR ART OF CREATING, ILLUSTRATED BY TEN CHARACTERS, +BEING AN INTRODUCTION TO THAT NOBLE SCIENCE BY WHICH EVERY MAN MAY +BECOME HIS OWN ROGUE. + + II + BRACHYLOGIA; OR, ESSAYS CRITICAL, SENTIMENTAL, MORAL, AND ORIGINAL. + + INTRODUCTION. +</pre> + <p> + Having lately been travelling in Germany, I spent some time at that + University in which Augustus Tomlinson presided as Professor of Moral + Philosophy. I found that that great man died, after a lingering illness, + in the beginning of the year 1822, perfectly resigned to his fate, and + conversing, even on his deathbed, on the divine mysteries of Ethical + Philosophy. Notwithstanding the little peccadilloes to which I have + alluded in the latter pages of “Paul Clifford,” and which his pupils + deemed it advisable to hide from— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “The gaudy, babbling, and remorseless day,” + </pre> + <p> + his memory was still held in a tender veneration. Perhaps, as in the case + of the illustrious Burns, the faults of a great man endear to you his + genius. In his latter days the PROFESSOR was accustomed to wear a + light-green silk dressing-gown, and, as he was perfectly bald, a little + black velvet cap; his small-clothes were pepper and salt. These + interesting facts I learned from one of his pupils. His old age was + consumed in lectures, in conversation, and in the composition of the + little morceaux of wisdom we present to the public. In these essays and + maxims, short as they are, he seems to have concentrated the wisdom of his + industrious and honourable life. With great difficulty I procured from his + executors the manuscripts which were then preparing for the German press. + A valuable consideration induced those gentlemen to become philanthropic, + and to consider the inestimable blessings they would confer upon this + country by suffering me to give the following essays to the light, in + their native and English dress, on the same day whereon they appear in + Germany in the graces of foreign disguise. + </p> + <p> + At an age when, while Hypocrisy stalks, simpers, sidles, struts, and + hobbles through the country, Truth also begins to watch her adversary in + every movement, I cannot but think these lessons of Augustus Tomlinson + peculiarly well-timed. I add them as a fitting Appendix to a Novel that + may not inappropriately be termed a Treatise on Social Frauds; and if they + contain within them that evidence of diligent attention and that principle + of good in which the satire of Vice is only the germ of its detection, + they may not, perchance, pass wholly unnoticed; nor be even condemned to + that hasty reading in which the Indifference of to-day is but the prelude + to the Forgetfulness of to-morrow. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + CONTENTS. + + MAXIMS ON THE POPULAR ART OF CHEATING, Illustrated by Ten + Characters, being an Introduction to that noble Science by which + every Man may become his own Rogue + + BRACHYLOGIA: + On the Morality taught by the Rich to the Poor + Emulation + Caution against the Scoffers of “Humbug” + Popular Wrath at Individual Imprudence + Dum deflnat Amnis + Self-Glorifiers + Thought on Fortune + Wit, and Truth + Auto-theology + Glorious Constitution + Answer to the Popular Cant that Goodness in a Statesman is + better than Ability + Common-sense + Love, and Writers on Love + The Great Entailed + The Regeneration of a Knave + Style + + MAXIMS + + ON + + THE POPULAR ART OF CHEATING, + + ILLUSTRATED BY TEN CHARACTERS; +</pre> + <p> + BEING AN INTRODUCTION TO THAT NOBLE SCIENCE BY WHICH EVERY MAN MAY BECOME + HIS OWN ROGUE. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Set a thief to catch a thief.—-Proverb. + + I. +</pre> + <p> + Whenever you are about to utter something astonishingly false, always + begin with, “It is an acknowledged fact,” etc. Sir Robert Filmer was a + master of this method of writing. Thus, with what a solemn face that great + man attempted to cheat! “It is a truth undeniable that there cannot be any + multitude of men whatsoever, either great or small, etc., but that in the + same multitude there is one man amongst them that in nature hath a right + to be King of all the rest,—as being the next heir to Adam!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + II. +</pre> + <p> + When you want something from the public, throw the blame of the asking on + the most sacred principle you can find. A common beggar can read you + exquisite lessons on this the most important maxim in the art of popular + cheating. “For the love of God, sir, a penny!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + III. +</pre> + <p> + Whenever on any matter, moral, sentimental, or political, you find + yourself utterly ignorant, talk immediately of “The Laws of Nature.” As + those laws are written nowhere,—[Locke]—they are known by + nobody. Should any ask you how you happen to know such or such a doctrine + as the dictate of Nature, clap your hand to your heart and say, “Here!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + IV. +</pre> + <p> + Yield to a man's tastes, and he will yield to your interest. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + V. +</pre> + <p> + When you talk to the half-wise, twaddle; when you talk to the ignorant, + brag; when you talk to the sagacious, look very humble, and ask their + opinion. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + VI. +</pre> + <p> + Always bear in mind, my beloved pupils, that the means of livelihood + depend not on the virtues, but the vices of others. The lawyer, the + statesman, the hangman, the physician, are paid by our sins; nay, even the + commoner professions—the tailor, the coachmaker, the upholsterer, + the wine-merchant—draw their fortunes, if not their existence, from + those smaller vices, our foibles. Vanity is the figure prefixed to the + ciphers of Necessity. Wherefore, oh my beloved pupils! never mind what a + man's virtues are; waste no time in learning them. Fasten at once on his + infirmities. Do to the One as, were you an honest man, you would do to the + Many. This is the way to be a rogue individually, as a lawyer is a rogue + professionally. Knaves are like critics,—[Nullum simile est quod + idem.—EDITOR.]—“flies that feed on the sore part, and would + have nothing to live on were the body in health.”—[Tatler]. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + VII. +</pre> + <p> + Every man finds it desirable to have tears in his eyes at times,—one + has a sympathy with humid lids. Providence hath beneficially provided for + this want, and given to every man, in its divine forethought, misfortunes + painful to recall. Hence, probably, those human calamities which the + atheist rails against! Wherefore, when you are uttering some affecting + sentiment to your intended dupe, think of the greatest misfortune you ever + had in your life; habit will soon make the association of tears and that + melancholy remembrance constantly felicitous. I knew, my dear pupils, a + most intelligent Frenchman, who obtained a charming legacy from an old + poet by repeating the bard's verses with streaming eyes. “How were you + able to weep at will?” asked I (I was young then, my pupils). “Je + pensois,” answered he, “a mon pauvre pere, qui est mort.” The union of + sentiment with the ability of swindling made that Frenchman a most + fascinating creature! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + VIII. +</pre> + <p> + Never commit the error of the over-shrewd, and deem human nature worse + than it is. Human nature is so damnably good that if it were not for human + art, we knaves could not live. The primary elements of a man's mind do not + sustain us; it is what he owes to “the pains taken with his education,” + and “the blessings of civilized society!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + IX. +</pre> + <p> + Whenever you doubt, my pupils, whether your man be a quack or not, decide + the point by seeing if your man be a positive asserter. Nothing indicates + imposture like confidence. Volney saith well, “that the most celebrated of + charlatans—[Mahomet]—and the boldest of tyrants begins his + extraordinary tissue of lies by these words, 'There is no doubt in this + book!'” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + X. +</pre> + <p> + There is one way of cheating people peculiar to the British Isles, and + which, my pupils, I earnestly recommend you to import hither,—cheating + by subscription. People like to be plundered in company; dupery then grows + into the spirit of party. Thus one quack very gravely requested persons to + fit up a ship for him and send him round the world as its captain to make + discoveries; and another patriotically suggested that L10,000 should be + subscribed—for what?—to place him in parliament! Neither of + these fellows could have screwed an individual out of a shilling had he + asked him for it in a corner; but a printed list, with “His Royal + Highness” at the top, plays the devil with English guineas. A subscription + for individuals may be considered a society for the ostentatious + encouragement of idleness, impudence, beggary, imposture, and other public + virtues! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XI. +</pre> + <p> + Whenever you read the life of a great man, I mean a man eminently + successful, you will perceive all the qualities given to him are the + qualities necessary even to a mediocre rogue. “He possessed,” saith the + biographer, “the greatest address [namely, the faculty of wheedling]; the + most admirable courage [namely, the faculty of bullying]; the most noble + fortitude [namely, the faculty of bearing to be bullied]; the most + singular versatility [namely, the faculty of saying one thing to one man, + and its reverse to another]; and the most wonderful command over the mind + of his contemporaries [namely, the faculty of victimizing their purses or + seducing their actions].” Wherefore, if luck cast you in humble life, + assiduously study the biographies of the great, in order to accomplish you + as a rogue; if in the more elevated range of society, be thoroughly versed + in the lives of the roguish: so shall you fit yourself to be eminent! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XII. +</pre> + <p> + The hypocrisy of virtue, my beloved pupils, is a little out of fashion + nowadays; it is sometimes better to affect the hypocrisy of vice. Appear + generously profligate, and swear with a hearty face that you do not + pretend to be better than the generality of your neighbours. Sincerity is + not less a covering than lying; a frieze great-coat wraps you as well as a + Spanish cloak. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XIII. +</pre> + <p> + When you are about to execute some great plan, and to defraud a number of + persons, let the first one or two of the allotted number be the cleverest, + shrewdest fellows you can find. You have then a reference that will alone + dupe the rest of the world. “That Mr. Lynx is satisfied,” will amply + suffice to satisfy Mr. Mole of the honesty of your intentions! Nor are + shrewd men the hardest to take in; they rely on their strength: + invulnerable heroes are necessarily the bravest. Talk to them in a + business-like manner, and refer your design at once to their lawyer. My + friend John Shamberry was a model in this grand stroke of art. He swindled + twelve people to the tune of some thousands, with no other trouble than it + first cost him to swindle—whom do you think?—the Secretary to + the Society for the Suppression of Swindling! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XIV. +</pre> + <p> + Divide your arts into two classes,—those which cost you little + labour, those which cost much. The first,—flattery, attention, + answering letters by return of post, walking across a street to oblige the + man you intend to ruin; all these you must never neglect. The least man is + worth gaining at a small cost. And besides, while you are serving + yourself, you are also obtaining the character of civility, diligence, and + good-nature. But the arts which cost you much labour—a long + subservience to one testy individual; aping the semblance of a virtue, a + quality, or a branch of learning which you do not possess, to a person + difficult to blind,—all these never begin except for great ends, + worth not only the loss of time, but the chance of detection. Great pains + for small gains is the maxim of the miser. The rogue should have more + grandeur d'ame!—[Greatness of soul]. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XV. +</pre> + <p> + Always forgive. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XVI. +</pre> + <p> + If a man owe you a sum of money—pupils though you be of mine, you + may once in your lives be so silly as to lend—and you find it + difficult to get it back, appeal, not to his justice, but to his charity. + The components of justice flatter few men! Who likes to submit to an + inconvenience because he ought to do it,—without praise, without + even self—gratulation? But charity, my dear friends, tickles up + human ostentation deliciously. Charity implies superiority; and the + feeling of superiority is most grateful to social nature. Hence the + commonness of charity, in proportion to other virtues, all over the world; + and hence you will especially note that in proportion as people are + haughty and arrogant, will they laud almsgiving and encourage charitable + institutions. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XVII. +</pre> + <p> + Your genteel rogues do not sufficiently observe the shrewdness of the + vulgar ones. The actual beggar takes advantage of every sore; but the + moral swindler is unpardonably dull as to the happiness of a physical + infirmity. To obtain a favour, neglect no method that may allure + compassion. I knew a worthy curate who obtained two livings by the + felicity of a hectic cough, and a younger brother who subsisted for ten + years on his family by virtue of a slow consumption. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XVIII. +</pre> + <p> + When you want to possess yourself of a small sum, recollect that the small + sum be put into juxtaposition with a great. I do not express myself + clearly—take an example. In London there are sharpers who advertise + L70,000 to be advanced at four per cent; principals only conferred with. + The gentleman wishing for such a sum on mortgage goes to see the + advertiser; the advertiser says he must run down and look at the property + on which the money is to be advanced; his journey and expenses will cost + him a mere trifle,—say, twenty guineas. Let him speak confidently; + let the gentleman very much want the money at the interest stated, and + three to one but our sharper gets the twenty guineas,—so paltry a + sum in comparison to L70,000 though so serious a sum had the matter + related to halfpence! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XIX. +</pre> + <p> + Lord Coke has said: “To trace an error to its fountainhead is to refute + it.” Now, my young pupils, I take it for granted that you are interested + in the preservation of error; you do not wish it, therefore, to be traced + to its fountain head. Whenever, then, you see a sharp fellow tracking it + up, you have two ways of settling the matter. You may say, with a smile, + “Nay, now, sir, you grow speculative,—I admire your ingenuity;” or + else look grave, colour up, and say, “I fancy, sir, there is no warrant + for this assertion in the most sacred of all authorities!” The Devil can + quote Scripture, you know; and a very sensible Devil it is too! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XX. +</pre> + <p> + Rochefoucauld has said: “The hate of favourites is nothing else but the + love of favour.” The idea is a little cramped; the hate we bear to any man + is only the result of our love for some good which we imagine he + possesses, or which, being in our possession, we imagine he has attacked. + Thus envy, the most ordinary species of hate, arises from our value for + the glory, or the plate, or the content we behold; and revenge is born + from our regard for our fame that has been wounded, or our acres molested, + or our rights invaded. But the most noisy of all hatreds is hatred for the + rich, from love for the riches. Look well on the poor devil who is always + railing at coaches and four! Book him as a man to be bribed! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XXI. +</pre> + <p> + My beloved pupils, few have yet sufficiently studied the art by which the + practice of jokes becomes subservient to the science of swindlers. The + heart of an inferior is always fascinated by a jest. Men know this in the + knavery of elections. Know it now, my pupils, in the knavery of life! When + you slap yon cobbler so affectionately on the back, it is your own fault + if you do not slap your purpose into him at the same time. Note how + Shakspeare (whom study night and day,—no man hath better expounded + the mysteries of roguery!) causes his grandest and most accomplished + villain, Richard III., to address his good friends, the murderers, with a + jocular panegyric on that hardness of heart on which, doubtless, those + poor fellows most piqued themselves,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Your eyes drop millstones, where fools' eyes drop tears— + I like you, lads!” + </pre> + <p> + Can't you fancy the knowing grin with which the dogs received this + compliment, and the little sly punch in the stomach with which Richard + dropped those loving words, “I like you, lads!” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XXII. +</pre> + <p> + As good-nature is the characteristic of the dupe, so should good-temper be + that of the knave; the two fit into each other like joints. Happily, + good-nature is a Narcissus, and falls in love with its own likeness. And + good-temper is to good-nature what the Florimel of snow was to the + Florimel of flesh,—an exact likeness made of the coldest materials. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + XXIII. + + BEING THE PRAISE OF KNAVERY. +</pre> + <p> + A knave is a philosopher, though a philosopher is not necessarily a knave. + What hath a knave to do with passions? Every irregular desire he must + suppress; every foible he must weed out; his whole life is spent in the + acquisition of knowledge: for what is knowledge?—the discovery of + human errors! He is the only man always consistent yet ever examining; he + knows but one end, yet explores every means; danger, ill-repute, all that + terrify other men, daunt not him; he braves all, but is saved from all: + for I hold that a knave ceaseth to be the knave—he hath passed into + the fool—the moment mischief befalls him. He professes the art of + cheating; but the art of cheating is to cheat without peril. He is teres + et rotundas; strokes fly from the lubricity of his polish, and the + shiftings of his circular formation. He who is insensible of the glory of + his profession, who is open only to the profit, is no disciple of mine. I + hold of knavery, as Plato hath said of virtue, “Could it be seen + incarnate, it would beget a personal adoration!” None but those who are + inspired by a generous enthusiasm will benefit by the above maxims, nor + (and here I warn you solemnly from the sacred ground, till your head be + uncovered, and your feet be bared in the awe of veneration) enter with + profit upon the following descriptions of character,—that Temple of + the Ten Statutes, wherein I have stored and consecrated the most treasured + relics of my travelled thoughts and my collected experience. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + TEN CHARACTERS. + + I. +</pre> + <p> + The mild, irresolute, good-natured, and indolent man. These qualities are + accompanied with good feelings, but no principles. The want of firmness + evinces also the want of any peculiar or deeply rooted system of thought. + A man conning a single and favourite subject of meditation grows wedded to + one or the other of the opinions on which he revolves. A man universally + irresolute has generally led a desultory life, and never given his + attention long together to one thing. This is a man most easy to cheat, my + beloved friends; you cheat him even with his eyes open. Indolence is + dearer to him than all things; and if you get him alone and put a question + to him point blank, he cannot answer, No. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + II. +</pre> + <p> + The timid, suspicious, selfish, and cold man. Generally a character of + this description is an excellent man of business, and would at first sight + seem to baffle the most ingenious swindler. But you have one hope,—I + have rarely found it deceive me,—this man is usually ostentatious. A + cold, a fearful, yet a worldly person has ever an eye upon others; he + notes the effect certain things produce on them; he is anxious to learn + their opinions, that he may not transgress; he likes to know what the + world say of him; nay, his timidity makes him anxious to repose his + selfishness on their good report. Hence he grows ostentatious, likes that + effect which is favourably talked of, and that show which wins + consideration. At him on this point, my pupils! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + III. +</pre> + <p> + The melancholy, retired, sensitive, intellectual character. A very good + subject this for your knaveries, my young friends, though it requires + great discrimination and delicacy. This character has a considerable + portion of morbid suspicion and irritation belonging to it,—against + these you must guard; at the same time its prevailing feature is a + powerful but unacknowledged vanity. It is generally a good opinion of + himself, and a feeling that he is not appreciated by others, that make a + man reserved; he deems himself unfit for the world because of the delicacy + of his temperament, and the want of a correspondent insensibility in those + he sees! This is your handle to work on. He is peculiarly flattered, too, + on the score of devotion and affection; he exacts in love, as from the + world, too much. He is a Lara, whose females must be Medoras; and even his + male friends should be extremely like Kaleds! Poor man! you see how easily + he can be duped. Mem.—Among persons of this character are usually + found those oddities, humours, and peculiarities which are each a handle. + No man lives out of the world with impunity to the solidity of his own + character. Every new outlet to the humour is a new inlet to the heart. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + IV. +</pre> + <p> + The bold, generous, frank, and affectionate man,—usually a person of + robust health. His constitution keeps him in spirits, and his spirits in + courage and in benevolence. He is obviously not a hard character, my good + young friends, for you to deceive; for he wants suspicion, and all his + good qualities lay him open to you. But beware his anger when he finds you + out! He is a terrible Othello when his nature is once stung. Mem.—A + good sort of character to seduce into illegal practices; makes a tolerable + traitor or a capital smuggler. You yourselves must never commit any + illegal offence,—aren't there cat's-paws for the chestnuts? As all + laws are oppressions (only necessary and often sacred oppressions, which + you need not explain to him), and his character is especially hostile to + oppression, you easily seduce the person we describe into braving the laws + of his country. Yes! the bold, generous, frank, and affectionate man has + only to be born in humble life to be sure of a halter! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + V. +</pre> + <p> + The bold, selfish, close, grasping man will in all probability cheat you, + my dear friends. For such a character makes the master-rogue, the stuff + from which Nature forms a Richard the Third. You had better leave such a + man quite alone. He is bad even to serve. He breaks up his tools when he + has done with them. No, you can do nothing with him, my good young men! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + VI. +</pre> + <p> + The eating, drinking, unthoughtful, sensual, mechanical man,—the + ordinary animal. Such a creature has cunning, and is either cowardly or + ferocious; seldom in these qualities he preserves a medium. He is not by + any means easy to dupe. Nature defends her mental brutes by the thickness + of their hide. Win his mistress if possible; she is the best person to + manage him. Such creatures are the natural prey of artful women; their + very stolidity covers all but sensuality. To the Samson-the Delilah. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + VII. +</pre> + <p> + The gay, deceitful, shrewd, polished, able man,—the courtier, the + man of the world. In public and stirring life this is the fit antagonist,—often + the successful and conquering rival of Character V. You perceive a man + like this varies so greatly in intellect—from the mere butterfly + talent to the rarest genius, from the person you see at cards to the + person you see in Cabinets, from the ——- to the Chesterfield, + from the Chesterfield to the Pericles—that it is difficult to give + you an exact notion of the weak points of a character so various. But + while he dupes his equals and his superiors, I consider him, my attentive + pupils, by no means a very difficult character for an inferior to dupe. + And in this manner you must go about it. Do not attempt hypocrisy; he will + see through it in an instant. Let him think you at once, and at first + sight, a rogue. Be candid on that matter yourself; but let him think you a + useful rogue. Serve him well and zealously; but own that you do so, + because you consider your interest involved in this. This reasoning + satisfies him; and as men of this character are usually generous, he will + acknowledge its justice by throwing you plenty of sops, and stimulating + you with bountiful cordials. Should he not content you herein, appear + contented; and profit in betraying him (that is the best way to cheat + him), not by his failings, but by opportunity. Watch not his character, + but your time. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + VIII. +</pre> + <p> + The vain, arrogant, brave, amorous, flashy character. This sort of + character we formerly attributed to the French, and it is still more + common to the Continent than that beloved island which I shall see no + more! A creature of this description is made up of many false virtues; + above others, it is always profuse where its selfishness is appealed to, + not otherwise. You must find, then, what pleases it, and pander to its + tastes. So will ye cheat it,—or ye will cheat it also by affecting + the false virtues which it admires itself,—rouge your sentiments + highly, and let them strut with a buskined air; thirdly, my good young + men, ye will cheat it by profuse flattery, and by calling it in especial + “the mirror of chivalry.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + IX. +</pre> + <p> + The plain, sensible, honest man,—a favourable, but not elevated + specimen of our race. This character, my beloved pupils, you may take in + once, but never twice. Nor can you take in such a man as a stranger; he + must be your friend or relation, or have known intimately some part of + your family. A man of this character is always open, though in a moderate + and calm degree, to the duties and ties of life. He will always do + something to serve his friend, his brother, or the man whose father pulled + his father out of the Serpentine. Affect with him no varnish; exert no + artifice in attempting to obtain his assistance. Candidly state your wish + for such or such a service, sensibly state your pretensions, modestly hint + at your gratitude. So may you deceive him once, then leave him alone + forever! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + X. +</pre> + <p> + The fond, silly, credulous man, all impulse and no reflection,—how + my heart swells when I contemplate this excellent character! What a Canaan + for you does it present! I envy you launching into the world with the + sanguine hope of finding all men such! Delightful enthusiasm of youth,—would + that the hope could be realized! Here is the very incarnation of + gullibility. You have only to make him love you, and no hedgehog ever + sucked egg as you can suck him. Never be afraid of his indignation; go to + him again and again; only throw yourself on his neck and weep. To gull him + once is to gull him always; get his first shilling, and then calculate + what you will do with the rest of his fortune. Never desert so good a man + for new friends; that would be ungrateful in you! And take with you, by + the way, my good young gentlemen, this concluding maxim: Men are like + lands; you will get more by lavishing all your labour again and again upon + the easy than by ploughing up new ground in the sterile! Legislators,—wise, + good, pious men,—the Tom Thumbs of moral science, who make giants + first, and then kill them,—you think the above lessons villanous. I + honour your penetration. They are not proofs of my villany, but of your + folly! Look over them again, and you will see that they are designed to + show that while ye are imprisoning, transporting, and hanging thousands + every day, a man with a decent modicum of cunning might practise every one + of those lessons which seem to you so heinous, and not one of your laws + could touch him! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + BRACHYLOGIA; + + OR, + + ESSAYS, CRITICAL, SENTIMENTAL, MORAL, AND ORIGINAL. + + ADDRESSED TO HIS PUPILS + + BY AUGUSTUS TOMLINSON. + + The irony in the preceding essays is often lost sight of in the + present. The illness of this great man, which happened while + composing these little gems, made him perhaps more in earnest + than when in robust health.—Editor's Note. + + ON THE MORALITY TAUGHT BY THE RICH TO THE POOR. +</pre> + <p> + As soon as the urchin pauper can totter out of doors, it is taught to pull + off its hat, and pull its hair to the quality. “A good little boy,” says + the squire; “there's a ha'penny for you.” The good little boy glows with + pride. That ha'penny instils deep the lesson of humility. Now goes our + urchin to school. Then comes the Sunday teaching,—before church, + which enjoins the poor to be lowly, and to honour every man better off + than themselves. A pound of honour to the squire, and an ounce to the + beadle. Then the boy grows up; and the Lord of the Manor instructs him + thus: “Be a good boy, Tom, and I'll befriend you. Tread in the steps of + your father; he was an excellent man, and a great loss to the parish; he + was a very civil, hard-working, well-behaved creature; knew his station;—mind, + and do like him!” So perpetual hard labour and plenty of cringing make the + ancestral virtues to be perpetuated to peasants till the day of judgment! + Another insidious distillation of morality is conveyed through a general + praise of the poor. You hear false friends of the people, who call + themselves Liberals and Tories, who have an idea of morals half chivalric, + half pastoral, agree in lauding the unfortunate creatures whom they keep + at work for them. But mark the virtues the poor are always to be praised + for,—industry, honesty, and content. The first virtue is extolled to + the skies, because industry gives the rich everything they have; the + second, because honesty prevents an iota of the said everything being + taken away again; and the third, because content is to hinder these poor + devils from ever objecting to a lot so comfortable to the persons who + profit by it. This, my pupils, is the morality taught by the rich to the + poor! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + EMULATION. +</pre> + <p> + The great error of emulation is this: we emulate effects without inquiring + into causes. When we read of the great actions of a man, we are on fire to + perform the same exploits, without endeavouring to ascertain the precise + qualities which enabled the man we imitate to commit the actions we + admire. Could we discover these, how often might we discover that their + origin was a certain temper of body, a certain peculiarity of + constitution, and that, wish we for the same success, we should be + examining the nature of our bodies rather than sharpening the faculties of + our minds,—should use dumbbells, perhaps, instead of books; nay, on + the other hand, contract some grievous complaint rather than perfect our + moral salubrity. Who should say whether Alexander would have been a hero + had his neck been straight; or Boileau a satirist, had he never been + pecked by a turkey? It would be pleasant to see you, my beloved pupils, + after reading “Quintus Curtius,” twisting each other's throat; or, fresh + from Boileau, hurrying to the poultry-yard in the hope of being mutilated + into the performance of a second “Lutrin.” + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + CAUTION AGAINST THE SCOFFERS OF “HUMBUG.” + </pre> + <p> + My beloved pupils, there is a set of persons in the world, daily + increasing, against whom you must be greatly on your guard; there is a + fascination about them. They are people who declare themselves vehemently + opposed to humbug,—fine, liberal fellows, clear-sighted, yet frank. + When these sentiments arise from reflection, well and good,—they are + the best sentiments in the world; but many take them up second hand. They + are very inviting to the indolence of the mob of gentlemen who see the + romance of a noble principle, not its utility. When a man looks at + everything through this dwarfing philosophy, everything has a great + modicum of humbug. You laugh with him when he derides the humbug in + religion, the humbug in politics, the humbug in love, the humbug in the + plausibilities of the world; but you may cry, my dear pupils, when he + derides what is often the safest of all practically to deride,—the + humbug in common honesty! Men are honest from religion, wisdom, prejudice, + habit, fear, and stupidity; but the few only are wise; and the persons we + speak of deride religion, are beyond prejudice, unawed by habit, too + indifferent for fear, and too experienced for stupidity. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + POPULAR WRATH AT INDIVIDUAL IMPRUDENCE. +</pre> + <p> + You must know, my dear young friends, that while the appearance of + magnanimity is very becoming to you, and so forth, it will get you a great + deal of ill-will if you attempt to practise it to your own detriment. Your + neighbours are so invariably, though perhaps insensibly, actuated by + self-interest—self-interest—[Mr. Tomlinson is wrong here; but + his ethics were too much narrowed to Utilitarian principles.—EDITOR.]—is + so entirely, though every twaddler denies it, the axis of the moral world—that + they fly into a rage with him who seems to disregard it. When a man ruins + himself, just hear the abuse he receives; his neighbours take it as a + personal affront! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + DUM DEFLUAT AMNIS. +</pre> + <p> + One main reason why men who have been great are disappointed, when they + retire to private life, is this: Memory makes a chief source of enjoyment + to those who cease eagerly to hope; but the memory of the great recalls + only that public life which has disgusted them. Their private life hath + slipped insensibly away, leaving faint traces of the sorrow or the joy + which found them too busy to heed the simple and quiet impressions of mere + domestic vicissitude. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + SELF-GLORIFIERS. +</pre> + <p> + Providence seems to have done to a certain set of persons—who always + view their own things through a magnifying medium, deem their house the + best in the world, their gun the truest, their very pointer a miracle—as + Colonel Hanger suggested to economists to do; namely, provide their + servants each with a pair of large spectacles, so that a lark might appear + as big as a fowl, and a twopenny loaf as large as a quartern. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THOUGHT ON FORTUNE. +</pre> + <p> + It is often the easiest move that completes the game. Fortune is like the + lady whom a lover carried off from all his rivals by putting an additional + lace upon his liveries. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + WIT AND TRUTH. +</pre> + <p> + People may talk about fiction being the source of fancy, and wit being at + variance with truth. Now, some of the wittiest things in the world are + witty solely from their truth. Truth is the soul of a good saying. “You + assert,” observes the Socrates of modern times, “that we have a virtual + representation; very well, let us have a virtual taxation too!” Here the + wit is in the fidelity of the sequitur. When Columbus broke the egg, where + was the wit? In the completeness of conviction in the broken egg. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + AUTO-THEOLOGY. +</pre> + <p> + Not only every sect but every individual modifies the general attributes + of the Deity towards assimilation with his own character: the just man + dwells on the justice, the stern upon the wrath; the attributes that do + not please the worshipper he insensibly forgets. Wherefore, O my pupils, + you will not smile when you read in Barnes that the pygmies declared Jove + himself was a pygmy. The pious vanity of man makes him adore his own + qualities under the pretence of worshipping those of his God. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + GLORIOUS CONSTITUTION. +</pre> + <p> + A sentence is sometimes as good as a volume. If a man ask you to give him + some idea of the laws of England, the answer is short and easy: In the + laws of England there are somewhere about one hundred and fifty laws by + which a poor man may be hanged, but not one by which he can obtain justice + for nothing! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ANSWER TO THE POPULAR CANT THAT + GOODNESS IN A STATESMAN IS + BETTER THAN ABILITY. +</pre> + <p> + As in the world we must look to actions, not motives, so a knave is the + man who injures you; and you do not inquire whether the injury be the + fruit of malice or necessity. Place, then, a fool in power, and he becomes + unconsciously the knave. Mr. Addington stumbled on the two very worst and + most villanous taxes human malice could have invented,—one on + medicines, the other on justice. What tyrant's fearful ingenuity could + afflict us more than by impeding at once redress for our wrongs, and cure + for our diseases? Mr. Addington was the fool in se, and therefore the + knave in office; but, bless you! he never meant it! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + COMMON-SENSE. +</pre> + <p> + Common-sense,—common-sense,—of all phrases, all catchwords, + this is often the most deceitful and the most dangerous. Look, in + especial, suspiciously upon common-sense whenever it is opposed to + discovery. Common-sense is the experience of every day. Discovery is + something against the experience of every day. No wonder, then, that when + Galileo proclaimed a great truth, the universal cry was, “Pshaw! + common-sense will tell you the reverse.” Talk to a sensible man for the + first time on the theory of vision, and hear what his common-sense will + say to it. In a letter in the time of Bacon, the writer, of no mean + intellect himself, says: “It is a pity the chancellor should set his + opinion against the experience of so many centuries and the dictates of + common-sense.” Common-sense, then, so useful in household matters, is less + useful in the legislative and in the scientific world than it has been + generally deemed. Naturally, the advocate for what has been tried, and + averse to what is speculative, it opposes the new philosophy that appeals + to reason, and clings to the old which is propped by sanction. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + LOVE, AND WRITERS ON LOVE. +</pre> + <p> + My warm, hot-headed, ardent young friends, ye are in the flower of your + life, and writing verses about love,—let us say a word on the + subject. There are two species of love common to all men and to most + animals,—[Most animals; for some appear insensible to the love of + custom]—one springs from the senses, the other grows out of custom. + Now, neither of these, my dear young friends, is the love that you pretend + to feel,—the love of lovers. Your passion, having only its + foundation (and that unacknowledged) in the senses, owes everything else + to the imagination. Now, the imagination of the majority is different in + complexion and degree in every country and in every age; so also, and + consequently, is the love of the imagination. As a proof, observe that you + sympathize with the romantic love of other times or nations only in + proportion as you sympathize with their poetry and imaginative literature. + The love which stalks through the “Arcadia” or “Amadis of Gaul” is to the + great bulk of readers coldly insipid or solemnly ridiculous. Alas! when + those works excited enthusiasm, so did the love which they describe. The + long speeches, the icy compliments, expressed the feeling of the day. The + love madrigals of the time of Shenstone, or the brocade gallantries of the + French poets in the last century, any woman now would consider hollow or + childish, imbecile or artificial. Once the songs were natural, and the + love seductive. And now, my young friends, in the year 1822, in which I + write, and shall probably die, the love which glitters through Moore, and + walks so ambitiously ambiguous through the verse of Byron; the love which + you consider now so deep and so true; the love which tingles through the + hearts of your young ladies, and sets you young gentlemen gazing on the + evening star,—all that love too will become unfamiliar or ridiculous + to an after age; and the young aspirings and the moonlight dreams and the + vague fiddle-de-dees which ye now think so touching and so sublime will + go, my dear boys, where Cowley's Mistress and Waller's Sacharissa have + gone before,—go with the Sapphos and the Chloes, the elegant + “charming fairs,” and the chivalric “most beauteous princesses!” The only + love-poetry that stands through all time and appeals to all hearts is that + which is founded on either or both the species of love natural to all men,—the + love of the senses, and the love of custom. In the latter is included what + middle-aged men call the rational attachment, the charm of congenial + minds, as well as the homely and warmer accumulation of little memories of + simple kindness, or the mere brute habitude of seeing a face as one would + see a chair. These, sometimes singly, sometimes skilfully blended, make + the theme of those who have perhaps loved the most honestly and the most + humanly; these yet render Tibullus pathetic, and Ovid a master over tender + affections; and these, above all, make that irresistible and all-touching + inspiration which subdues the romantic, the calculating, the old, the + young, the courtier, the peasant, the poet, the man of business, in the + glorious love-poetry of Robert Burns. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE GREAT ENTAILED. +</pre> + <p> + The great inheritance of man is a commonwealth of blunders. One race spend + their lives in botching the errors transmitted to them by another; and the + main cause of all political, that is, all the worst and most general, + blunders is this,—the same rule we apply to individual cases we will + not apply to public. All men consent that swindling for a horse is + swindling,—they punish the culprit and condemn the fault. But in a + State there is no such unanimity. Swindling, Lord help you! is called by + some fine name; and cheating grows grandiloquent, and styles itself + “Policy.” In consequence of this there is always a battle between those + who call things by their right names and those who pertinaciously give + them the wrong ones. Hence all sorts of confusion. This confusion extends + very soon to the laws made for individual cases; and thus in old States, + though the world is still agreed that private swindling is private + swindling, there is the Devil's own difficulty in punishing the swindling + of the public. The art of swindling now is a different thing to the art of + swindling a hundred years ago; but the laws remain the same. Adaptation in + private cases is innovation in public; so, without repealing old laws, + they make new. Sometimes these are effectual, but more often not. Now, my + beloved pupils, a law is a gun which if it misses a pigeon always kills a + crow; if it does not strike the guilty, it hits some one else. As every + crime creates a law, so in turn every law creates a crime; and hence we go + on multiplying sins and evils, and faults and blunders, till society + becomes the organized disorder for picking pockets. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE REGENERATION OF A KNAVE. +</pre> + <p> + A man who begins the world by being a fool often ends it by becoming a + knave; but he who begins as a knave, if he be a rich man (and so not + hanged), may end, my beloved pupils, in being a pious creature. And this + is the wherefore: “a knave early” soon gets knowledge of the world. One + vice worn out makes us wiser than fifty tutors. But wisdom causes us to + love quiet, and in quiet we do not sin. He who is wise and sins not can + scarcely fail of doing good; for let him but utter a new truth, and even + his imagination cannot conceive the limit of the good he may have done to + man! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + STYLE. +</pre> + <p> + Do you well understand what a wonderful thing style is? I think not; for + in the exercises you sent me, your styles betrayed that no very earnest + consideration had been lavished upon them. Know, then, that you must pause + well before you take up any model of style. On your style often depends + your own character,—almost always the character given you by the + world. If you adopt the lofty style,—if you string together noble + phrases and swelling Sonora,—you have expressed, avowed, a frame of + mind which you will insensibly desire to act up to; the desire gradually + begets the capacity. The life of Dr. Parr is Dr. Parr's style put in + action; and Lord Byron makes himself through existence unhappy for having + accidentally slipped into a melancholy current of words. But suppose you + escape this calamity by a peculiar hardihood of temperament, you escape + not the stamp of popular opinion. Addison must ever be held by the vulgar + the most amiable of men, because of the social amenity of his diction; and + the admirers of language will always consider Burke a nobler spirit than + Fox, because of the grandeur of his sentences. How many wise sayings have + been called jests because they were wittily uttered! How many nothings + swelled their author into a sage, ay, a saint, because they were strung + together by the old hypocrite nun,—Gravity! + </p> + <p> + THE END. <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Paul Clifford, Complete, by Edward Bulwer-Lytton + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PAUL CLIFFORD, COMPLETE *** + +***** This file should be named 7735-h.htm or 7735-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/7/7/3/7735/ + +Produced by Bryan Sherman and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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