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diff --git a/old/tsots11.txt b/old/tsots11.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 227d5f5..0000000 --- a/old/tsots11.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,6314 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's The Story of the Treasure Seekers, by E. Nesbit -#1 in our series by E. Nesbit - -Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the -copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing -this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. - -This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project -Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the -header without written permission. - -Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the -eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is -important information about your specific rights and restrictions in -how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a -donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. - - -**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** - -**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** - -*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** - - -Title: The Story of the Treasure Seekers - -Author: E. Nesbit - -Release Date: January, 1997 [EBook #770] -[This file was last updated on May 14, 2004] - -Edition: 11 - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF THE TREASURE SEEKERS *** - - - - -This etext was created by Jo Churcher, Scarborough, Ontario -(jchurche@io.org) - - - - - -The Story of the Treasure Seekers - -by E. Nesbit - -Being the adventures of the Bastable children in search of a -fortune - - - - -TO OSWALD BARRON -Without whom this book could never have been written - -The Treasure Seekers is dedicated in memory of childhoods -identical but for the accidents of time and space - - -CONTENTS - -1. The Council of Ways and Means -2. Digging for Treasure -3. Being Detectives -4. Good Hunting -5. The Poet and the Editor -6. Noel's Princess -7. Being Bandits -8. Being Editors -9. The G. B. -10. Lord Tottenham -11. Castilian Amoroso -12. The Nobleness of Oswald -13. The Robber and the Burglar -14. The Divining-rod -15. 'Lo, the Poor Indian!' -16. The End of the Treasure-seeking - - - - -CHAPTER 1 -THE COUNCIL OF WAYS AND MEANS - -This is the story of the different ways we looked for treasure, and I -think when you have read it you will see that we were not lazy about the -looking. - -There are some things I must tell before I begin to tell about the -treasure-seeking, because I have read books myself, and I know how -beastly it is when a story begins, "'Alas!" said Hildegarde with a deep -sigh, "we must look our last on this ancestral home"'--and then some one -else says something--and you don't know for pages and pages where the -home is, or who Hildegarde is, or anything about it. Our ancestral home -is in the Lewisham Road. It is semi-detached and has a garden, not a -large one. We are the Bastables. There are six of us besides Father. -Our Mother is dead, and if you think we don't care because I don't tell -you much about her you only show that you do not understand people at -all. Dora is the eldest. Then Oswald--and then Dicky. Oswald won the -Latin prize at his preparatory school--and Dicky is good at sums. Alice -and Noel are twins: they are ten, and Horace Octavius is my youngest -brother. It is one of us that tells this story--but I shall not tell -you which: only at the very end perhaps I will. While the story is -going on you may be trying to guess, only I bet you don't. It was -Oswald who first thought of looking for treasure. Oswald often thinks of -very interesting things. And directly he thought of it he did not keep -it to himself, as some boys would have done, but he told the others, and -said-- - -'I'll tell you what, we must go and seek for treasure: it is always -what you do to restore the fallen fortunes of your House.' - -Dora said it was all very well. She often says that. She was trying to -mend a large hole in one of Noel's stockings. He tore it on a nail when -we were playing shipwrecked mariners on top of the chicken-house the day -H. O. fell off and cut his chin: he has the scar still. Dora is the -only one of us who ever tries to mend anything. Alice tries to make -things sometimes. Once she knitted a red scarf for Noel because his -chest is delicate, but it was much wider at one end than the other, and -he wouldn't wear it. So we used it as a pennon, and it did very well, -because most of our things are black or grey since Mother died; and -scarlet was a nice change. Father does not like you to ask for new -things. That was one way we had of knowing that the fortunes of the -ancient House of Bastable were really fallen. Another way was that -there was no more pocket-money--except a penny now and then to the -little ones, and people did not come to dinner any more, like they used -to, with pretty dresses, driving up in cabs--and the carpets got holes -in them--and when the legs came off things they were not sent to be -mended, and we gave _up_ having the gardener except for the front garden, -and not that very often. And the silver in the big oak plate-chest that -is lined with green baize all went away to the shop to have the dents -and scratches taken out of it, and it never came back. We think Father -hadn't enough money to pay the silver man for taking out the dents and -scratches. The new spoons and forks were yellowy-white, and not so -heavy as the old ones, and they never shone after the first day or two. - -Father was very ill after Mother died; and while he was ill his -business-partner went to Spain--and there was never much money -afterwards. I don't know why. Then the servants left and there was only -one, a General. A great deal of your comfort and happiness depends on -having a good General. The last but one was nice: she used to make -jolly good currant puddings for us, and let us have the dish on the -floor and pretend it was a wild boar we were killing with our forks. But -the General we have now nearly always makes sago puddings, and they are -the watery kind, and you cannot pretend anything with them, not even -islands, like you do with porridge. - -Then we left off going to school, and Father said we should go to a good -school as soon as he could manage it. He said a holiday would do us all -good. We thought he was right, but we wished he had told us he couldn't -afford it. For of course we knew. - -Then a great many people used to come to the door with envelopes with no -stamps on them, and sometimes they got very angry, and said they were -calling for the last time before putting it in other hands. I asked -Eliza what that meant, and she kindly explained to me, and I was so -sorry for Father. - -And once a long, blue paper came; a policeman brought it, and we were so -frightened. But Father said it was all right, only when he went up to -kiss the girls after they were in bed they said he had been crying, -though I'm sure that's not true. Because only cowards and snivellers -cry, and my Father is the bravest man in the world. - -So you see it was time we looked for treasure and Oswald said so, and -Dora said it was all very well. But the others agreed with Oswald. So -we held a council. Dora was in the chair--the big dining-room chair, -that we let the fireworks off from, the Fifth of November when we had -the measles and couldn't do it in the garden. The hole has never been -mended, so now we have that chair in the nursery, and I think it was -cheap at the blowing-up we boys got when the hole was burnt. - -'We must do something,' said Alice, 'because the exchequer is empty.' -She rattled the money-box as she spoke, and it really did rattle because -we always keep the bad sixpence in it for luck. - -'Yes--but what shall we do?' said Dicky. 'It's so jolly easy to say -let's do _somethinmg_.' Dicky always wants everything settled exactly. -Father calls him the Definite Article. - -'Let's read all the books again. We shall get lots of ideas out of -them.' It was Noel who suggested this, but we made him shut up, because -we knew well enough he only wanted to get back to his old books. Noel -is a poet. He sold some of his poetry once--and it was printed, but -that does not come in this part of the story. - -Then Dicky said, 'Look here. We'll be quite quiet for ten minutes by -the clock--and each think of some way to find treasure. And when we've -thought we'll try all the ways one after the other, beginning with the -eldest.' - -'I shan't be able to think in ten minutes, make it half an hour,' said -H. O. His real name is Horace Octavius, but we call him H. O. because of -the advertisement, and it's not so very long ago he was afraid to pass -the hoarding where it says 'Eat H. O.' in big letters. He says it was -when he was a little boy, but I remember last Christmas but one, he woke -in the middle of the night crying and howling, and they said it was the -pudding. But he told me afterwards he had been dreaming that they -really _had_ come to eat H. O., and it couldn't have been the pudding, -when you come to think of it, because it was so very plain. - -Well, we made it half an hour--and we all sat quiet, and thought and -thought. And I made up my mind before two minutes were over, and I saw -the others had, all but Dora, who is always an awful time over -everything. I got pins and needles in my leg from sitting still so -long, and when it was seven minutes H. O. cried out--'Oh, it must be -more than half an hour!' - -H. O. is eight years old, but he cannot tell the clock yet. Oswald could -tell the clock when he was six. - -We all stretched ourselves and began to speak at once, but Dora put up -her hands to her ears and said-- - -'One at a time, please. We aren't playing Babel.' (It is a very good -game. Did you ever play it?) - -So Dora made us all sit in a row on the floor, in ages, and then she -pointed at us with the finger that had the brass thimble on. Her silver -one got lost when the last General but two went away. We think she must -have forgotten it was Dora's and put it in her box by mistake. She was -a very forgetful girl. She used to forget what she had spent money on, -so that the change was never quite right. - -Oswald spoke first. 'I think we might stop people on Blackheath--with -crape masks and horse-pistols--and say "Your money or your life! -Resistance is useless, we are armed to the teeth"--like Dick Turpin and -Claude Duval. It wouldn't matter about not having horses, because -coaches have gone out too.' - -Dora screwed up her nose the way she always does when she is going to -talk like the good elder sister in books, and said, 'That would be very -wrong: it's like pickpocketing or taking pennies out of Father's great- -coat when it's hanging in the hall.' - -I must say I don't think she need have said that, especially before the -little ones--for it was when I was only four. - -But Oswald was not going to let her see he cared, so he said-- - -'Oh, very well. I can think of lots of other ways. We could rescue an -old gentleman from deadly Highwaymen.' - -'There aren't any,' said Dora. - -'Oh, well, it's all the same--from deadly peril, then. There's plenty -of that. Then he would turn out to be the Prince of Wales, and he would -say, "My noble, my cherished preserver! Here is a million pounds a -year. Rise up, Sir Oswald Bastable."' - -But the others did not seem to think so, and it was Alice's turn to say. - -She said, 'I think we might try the divining-rod. I'm sure I could do -it. I've often read about it. You hold a stick in your hands, and when -you come to where there is gold underneath the stick kicks about. So -you know. And you dig.' - -'Oh,' said Dora suddenly, 'I have an idea. But I'll say last. I hope -the divining-rod isn't wrong. I believe it's wrong in the Bible.' - -'So is eating pork and ducks,' said Dicky. 'You can't go by that.' - -'Anyhow, we'll try the other ways first,' said Dora. 'Now, H. O.' - -'Let's be Bandits,' said H. O. 'I dare say it's wrong but it would be -fun pretending.' - -'I'm sure it's wrong,' said Dora. - -And Dicky said she thought everything wrong. She said she didn't, and -Dicky was very disagreeable. So Oswald had to make peace, and he said-- - -'Dora needn't play if she doesn't want to. Nobody asked her. And, -Dicky, don't be an idiot: do dry up and let's hear what Noel's idea -is.' - -Dora and Dicky did not look pleased, but I kicked Noel under the table -to make him hurry up, and then he said he didn't think he wanted to play -any more. That's the worst of it. The others are so jolly ready to -quarrel. I told Noel to be a man and not a snivelling pig, and at last -he said he had not made up his mind whether he would print his poetry in -a book and sell it, or find a princess and marry her. - -'Whichever it is,' he added, 'none of you shall want for anything, -though Oswald did kick me, and say I was a snivelling pig.' - -'I didn't,' said Oswald, 'I told you not to be.' And Alice explained to -him that that was quite the opposite of what he thought. So he agreed -to drop it. - -Then Dicky spoke. - -'You must all of you have noticed the advertisements in the papers, -telling you that ladies and gentlemen can easily earn two pounds a week -in their spare time, and to send two shillings for sample and -instructions, carefully packed free from observation. Now that we don't -go to school all our time is spare time. So I should think we could -easily earn twenty pounds a week each. That would do us very well. -We'll try some of the other things first, and directly we have any money -we'll send for the sample and instructions. And I have another idea, -but I must think about it before I say.' - -We all said, 'Out with it--what's the other idea?' - -But Dicky said, 'No.' That is Dicky all over. He never will show you -anything he's making till it's quite finished, and the same with his -inmost thoughts. But he is pleased if you seem to want to know, so -Oswald said-- - -'Keep your silly old secret, then. Now, Dora, drive ahead. We've all -said except you.' - -Then Dora jumped up and dropped the stocking and the thimble (it rolled -away, and we did not find it for days), and said-- - -'Let's try my way _now_. Besides, I'm the eldest, so it's only fair. -Let's dig for treasure. Not any tiresome divining-rod--but just plain -digging. People who dig for treasure always find it. And then we shall -be rich and we needn't try your ways at all. Some of them are rather -difficult: and I'm certain some of them are wrong--and we must always -remember that wrong things--' - -But we told her to shut up and come on, and she did. - -I couldn't help wondering as we went down to the garden, why Father had -never thought of digging there for treasure instead of going to his -beastly office every day. - - - -CHAPTER 2 -DIGGING FOR TREASURE - -I am afraid the last chapter was rather dull. It is always dull in -books when people talk and talk, and don't do anything, but I was -obliged to put it in, or else you wouldn't have understood all the rest. -The best part of books is when things are happening. That is the best -part of real things too. This is why I shall not tell you in this story -about all the days when nothing happened. You will not catch me saying, -'thus the sad days passed slowly by'--or 'the years rolled on their -weary course'--or 'time went on'--because it is silly; of course time -goes on--whether you say so or not. So I shall just tell you the nice, -interesting parts--and in between you will understand that we had our -meals and got up and went to bed, and dull things like that. It would -be sickening to write all that down, though of course it happens. I -said so to Albert-next-door's uncle, who writes books, and he said, -'Quite right, that's what we call selection, a necessity of true art.' -And he is very clever indeed. So you see. - -I have often thought that if the people who write books for children -knew a little more it would be better. I shall not tell you anything -about us except what I should like to know about if I was reading the -story and you were writing it. Albert's uncle says I ought to have put -this in the preface, but I never read prefaces, and it is not much good -writing things just for people to skip. I wonder other authors have -never thought of this. - -Well, when we had agreed to dig for treasure we all went down into the -cellar and lighted the gas. Oswald would have liked to dig there, but -it is stone flags. We looked among the old boxes and broken chairs and -fenders and empty bottles and things, and at last we found the spades we -had to dig in the sand with when we went to the seaside three years ago. -They are not silly, babyish, wooden spades, that split if you look at -them, but good iron, with a blue mark across the top of the iron part, -and yellow wooden handles. We wasted a little time getting them dusted, -because the girls wouldn't dig with spades that had cobwebs on them. -Girls would never do for African explorers or anything like that, they -are too beastly particular. - -It was no use doing the thing by halves. We marked out a sort of square -in the mouldy part of the garden, about three yards across, and began to -dig. But we found nothing except worms and stones--and the ground was -very hard. - -So we thought we'd try another part of the garden, and we found a place -in the big round flower bed, where the ground was much softer. We -thought we'd make a smaller hole to begin with, and it was much better. -We dug and dug and dug, and it was jolly hard work! We got very hot -digging, but we found nothing. - -Presently Albert-next-door looked over the wall. We do not like him -very much, but we let him play with us sometimes, because his father is -dead, and you must not be unkind to orphans, even if their mothers are -alive. Albert is always very tidy. He wears frilly collars and velvet -knickerbockers. I can't think how he can bear to. - -So we said, 'Hallo!' - -And he said, 'What are you up to?' - -'We're digging for treasure,' said Alice; 'an ancient parchment revealed -to us the place of concealment. Come over and help us. When we have dug -deep enough we shall find a great pot of red clay, full of gold and -precious jewels.' - -Albert-next-door only sniggered and said, 'What silly nonsense!' He -cannot play properly at all. It is very strange, because he has a very -nice uncle. You see, Albert-next-door doesn't care for reading, and he -has not read nearly so many books as we have, so he is very foolish and -ignorant, but it cannot be helped, and you just have to put up with it -when you want him to do anything. Besides, it is wrong to be angry with -people for not being so clever as you are yourself. It is not always -their faults. - -So Oswald said, 'Come and dig! Then you shall share the treasure when -we've found it.' - -But he said, 'I shan't--I don't like digging--and I'm just going in to -my tea.' - -'Come along and dig, there's a good boy,' Alice said. 'You can use my -spade. It's much the best--' - -So he came along and dug, and when once he was over the wall we kept him -at it, and we worked as well, of course, and the hole got deep. Pincher -worked too--he is our dog and he is very good at digging. He digs for -rats in the dustbin sometimes, and gets very dirty. But we love our -dog, even when his face wants washing. - -'I expect we shall have to make a tunnel,' Oswald said, 'to reach the -rich treasure.' So he jumped into the hole and began to dig at one -side. After that we took it in turns to dig at the tunnel, and Pincher -was most useful in scraping the earth out of the tunnel--he does it with -his back feet when you say 'Rats!' and he digs with his front ones, and -burrows with his nose as well. - -At last the tunnel was nearly a yard long, and big enough to creep along -to find the treasure, if only it had been a bit longer. Now it was -Albert's turn to go in and dig, but he funked it. - -'Take your turn like a man,' said Oswald--nobody can say that Oswald -doesn't take his turn like a man. But Albert wouldn't. So we had to -make him, because it was only fair. - -'It's quite easy,' Alice said. 'You just crawl in and dig with your -hands. Then when you come out we can scrape out what you've done, with -the spades. Come--be a man. You won't notice it being dark in the -tunnel if you shut your eyes tight. We've all been in except Dora--and -she doesn't like worms.' - -'I don't like worms neither.' Albert-next-door said this; but we -remembered how he had picked a fat red and black worm up in his fingers -and thrown it at Dora only the day before. So we put him in. - -But he would not go in head first, the proper way, and dig with his -hands as we had done, and though Oswald was angry at the time, for he -hates snivellers, yet afterwards he owned that perhaps it was just as -well. You should never be afraid to own that perhaps you were -mistaken--but it is cowardly to do it unless you are quite sure you are -in the wrong. - -'Let me go in feet first,' said Albert-next-door. 'I'll dig with my -boots--I will truly, honour bright.' - -So we let him get in feet first--and he did it very slowly and at last -he was in, and only his head sticking out into the hole; and all the -rest of him in the tunnel. - -'Now dig with your boots,' said Oswald; 'and, Alice, do catch hold of -Pincher, he'll be digging again in another minute, and perhaps it would -be uncomfortable for Albert if Pincher threw the mould into his eyes.' - -You should always try to think of these little things. Thinking of -other people's comfort makes them like you. Alice held Pincher, and we -all shouted, 'Kick! dig with your feet, for all you're worth!' - -So Albert-next-door began to dig with his feet, and we stood on the -ground over him, waiting--and all in a minute the ground gave way, and -we tumbled together in a heap: and when we got up there was a little -shallow hollow where we had been standing, and Albert-next-door was -underneath, stuck quite fast, because the roof of the tunnel had tumbled -in on him. He is a horribly unlucky boy to have anything to do with. - -It was dreadful the way he cried and screamed, though he had to own it -didn't hurt, only it was rather heavy and he couldn't move his legs. We -would have dug him out all right enough, in time, but he screamed so we -were afraid the police would come, so Dicky climbed over the wall, to -tell the cook there to tell Albert-next-door's uncle he had been buried -by mistake, and to come and help dig him out. - -Dicky was a long time gone. We wondered what had become of him, and all -the while the screaming went on and on, for we had taken the loose earth -off Albert's face so that he could scream quite easily and comfortably. - -Presently Dicky came back and Albert-next-door's uncle came with him. -He has very long legs, and his hair is light and his face is brown. He -has been to sea, but now he writes books. I like him. - -He told his nephew to stow it, so Albert did, and then he asked him if -he was hurt--and Albert had to say he wasn't, for though he is a coward, -and very unlucky, he is not a liar like some boys are. - -'This promises to be a protracted if agreeable task,' said Albert-next- -door's uncle, rubbing his hands and looking at the hole with Albert's -head in it. 'I will get another spade,' so he fetched the big spade out -of the next-door garden tool-shed, and began to dig his nephew out. - -'Mind you keep very still,' he said, 'or I might chunk a bit out of you -with the spade.' Then after a while he said-- - -'I confess that I am not absolutely insensible to the dramatic interest -of the situation. My curiosity is excited. I own that I should like to -know how my nephew happened to be buried. But don't tell me if you'd -rather not. I suppose no force was used?' - -'Only moral force,' said Alice. They used to talk a lot about moral -force at the High School where she went, and in case you don't know what -it means I'll tell you that it is making people do what they don't want -to, just by slanging them, or laughing at them, or promising them things -if they're good. - -'Only moral force, eh?' said Albert-next-door's uncle. 'Well?' - -'Well,' Dora said, 'I'm very sorry it happened to Albert--I'd rather it -had been one of us. It would have been my turn to go into the tunnel, -only I don't like worms, so they let me off. You see we were digging for -treasure.' - -'Yes,' said Alice, 'and I think we were just coming to the underground -passage that leads to the secret hoard, when the tunnel fell in on -Albert. He _is_ so unlucky,' and she sighed. - -Then Albert-next-door began to scream again, and his uncle wiped his -face--his own face, not Albert's--with his silk handkerchief, and then -he put it in his trousers pocket. It seems a strange place to put a -handkerchief, but he had his coat and waistcoat off and I suppose he -wanted the handkerchief handy. Digging is warm work. - -He told Albert-next-door to drop it, or he wouldn't proceed further in -the matter, so Albert stopped screaming, and presently his uncle -finished digging him out. Albert did look so funny, with his hair all -dusty and his velvet suit covered with mould and his face muddy with -earth and crying. - -We all said how sorry we were, but he wouldn't say a word back to us. -He was most awfully sick to think he'd been the one buried, when it -might just as well have been one of us. I felt myself that it was hard -lines. - -'So you were digging for treasure,' said Albert-next-door's uncle, -wiping his face again with his handkerchief. 'Well, I fear that your -chances of success are small. I have made a careful study of the whole -subject. What I don't know about buried treasure is not worth knowing. -And I never knew more than one coin buried in any one garden--and that -is generally--Hullo--what's that?' - -He pointed to something shining in the hole he had just dragged Albert -out of. Oswald picked it up. It was a half-crown. We looked at each -other, speechless with surprise and delight, like in books. - -'Well, that's lucky, at all events,' said Albert-next-door's uncle. - -'Let's see, that's fivepence each for you.' - -'It's fourpence--something; I can't do fractions,' said Dicky; 'there -are seven of us, you see.' - -'Oh, you count Albert as one of yourselves on this occasion, eh?' - -'Of course,' said Alice; 'and I say, he was buried after all. Why -shouldn't we let him have the odd somethings, and we'll have fourpence -each.' - -We all agreed to do this, and told Albert-next-door we would bring his -share as soon as we could get the half-crown changed. He cheered up a -little at that, and his uncle wiped his face again--he did look hot--and -began to put on his coat and waistcoat. - -When he had done it he stooped and picked up something. He held it up, -and you will hardly believe it, but it is quite true--it was another -half-crown! - -'To think that there should be two!' he said; 'in all my experience of -buried treasure I never heard of such a thing!' - -I wish Albert-next-door's uncle would come treasure-seeking with us -regularly; he must have very sharp eyes: for Dora says she was looking -just the minute before at the very place where the second half-crown was -picked up from, and _she_ never saw it. - - - -CHAPTER 3 -BEING DETECTIVES - -The next thing that happened to us was very interesting. It was as real -as the half-crowns--not just pretending. I shall try to write it as -like a real book as I can. Of course we have read Mr Sherlock Holmes, -as well as the yellow-covered books with pictures outside that are so -badly printed; and you get them for fourpence-halfpenny at the bookstall -when the corners of them are beginning to curl up and get dirty, with -people looking to see how the story ends when they are waiting for -trains. I think this is most unfair to the boy at the bookstall. The -books are written by a gentleman named Gaboriau, and Albert's uncle says -they are the worst translations in the world--and written in vile -English. Of course they're not like Kipling, but they're jolly good -stories. And we had just been reading a book by Dick Diddlington--that's -not his right name, but I know all about libel actions, so I shall not -say what his name is really, because his books are rot. Only they put -it into our heads to do what I am going to narrate. - -It was in September, and we were not to go to the seaside because it is -so expensive, even if you go to Sheerness, where it is all tin cans and -old boots and no sand at all. But every one else went, even the people -next door--not Albert's side, but the other. Their servant told Eliza -they were all going to Scarborough, and next day sure enough all the -blinds were down and the shutters up, and the milk was not left any -more. There is a big horse-chestnut tree between their garden and ours, -very useful for getting conkers out of and for making stuff to rub on -your chilblains. This prevented our seeing whether the blinds were down -at the back as well, but Dicky climbed to the top of the tree and -looked, and they were. - -It was jolly hot weather, and very stuffy indoors--we used to play a -good deal in the garden. We made a tent out of the kitchen clothes- -horse and some blankets off our beds, and though it was quite as hot in -the tent as in the house it was a very different sort of hotness. -Albert's uncle called it the Turkish Bath. It is not nice to be kept -from the seaside, but we know that we have much to be thankful for. We -might be poor little children living in a crowded alley where even at -summer noon hardly a ray of sunlight penetrates; clothed in rags and -with bare feet--though I do not mind holes in my clothes myself, and -bare feet would not be at all bad in this sort of weather. Indeed we do, -sometimes, when we are playing at things which require it. It was -shipwrecked mariners that day, I remember, and we were all in the -blanket tent. We had just finished eating the things we had saved, at -the peril of our lives, from the st-sinking vessel. They were rather -nice things. Two-pennyworth of coconut candy--it was got in Greenwich, -where it is four ounces a penny--three apples, some macaroni--the -straight sort that is so useful to suck things through--some raw rice, -and a large piece of cold suet pudding that Alice nicked from the larder -when she went to get the rice and macaroni. And when we had finished -some one said-- - -'I should like to be a detective.' - -I wish to be quite fair, but I cannot remember exactly who said it. -Oswald thinks he said it, and Dora says it was Dicky, but Oswald is too -much of a man to quarrel about a little thing like that. - -'I should like to be a detective,' said--perhaps it was Dicky, but I -think not--'and find out strange and hidden crimes.' - -'You have to be much cleverer than you are,' said H. O. - -'Not so very,' Alice said, 'because when you've read the books you know -what the things mean: the red hair on the handle of the knife, or the -grains of white powder on the velvet collar of the villain's overcoat. -I believe we could do it.' - -'I shouldn't like to have anything to do with murders,' said Dora; -'somehow it doesn't seem safe--' - -'And it always ends in the poor murderer being hanged,' said Alice. - -We explained to her why murderers have to be hanged, but she only said, -'I don't care. I'm sure no one would ever do murdering _twice_. Think -of the blood and things, and what you would see when you woke up in the -night! I shouldn't mind being a detective to lie in wait for a gang of -coiners, now, and spring upon them unawares, and secure them--single- -handed, you know, or with only my faithful bloodhound.' - -She stroked Pincher's ears, but he had gone to sleep because he knew -well enough that all the suet pudding was finished. He is a very -sensible dog. 'You always get hold of the wrong end of the stick,' -Oswald said. 'You can't choose what crimes you'll be a detective about. -You just have to get a suspicious circumstance, and then you look for a -clue and follow it up. Whether it turns out a murder or a missing will -is just a fluke.' - -'That's one way,' Dicky said. 'Another is to get a paper and find two -advertisements or bits of news that fit. Like this: "Young Lady -Missing," and then it tells about all the clothes she had on, and the -gold locket she wore, and the colour of her hair, and all that; and then -in another piece of the paper you see, "Gold locket found," and then it -all comes out.' - -We sent H. O. for the paper at once, but we could not make any of the -things fit in. The two best were about how some burglars broke into a -place in Holloway where they made preserved tongues and invalid -delicacies, and carried off a lot of them. And on another page there -was, 'Mysterious deaths in Holloway.' - -Oswald thought there was something in it, and so did Albert's uncle when -we asked him, but the others thought not, so Oswald agreed to drop it. -Besides, Holloway is a long way off. All the time we were talking about -the paper Alice seemed to be thinking about something else, and when we -had done she said-- - -'I believe we might be detectives ourselves, but I should not like to -get anybody into trouble.' - -'Not murderers or robbers?' Dicky asked. - -'It wouldn't be murderers,' she said; 'but I _have_ noticed something -strange. Only I feel a little frightened. Let's ask Albert's uncle -first.' - -Alice is a jolly sight too fond of asking grown-up people things. And we -all said it was tommyrot, and she was to tell us. - -'Well, promise you won't do anything without me,' Alice said, and we -promised. Then she said-- - -'This is a dark secret, and any one who thinks it is better not to be -involved in a career of crime-discovery had better go away ere yet it -be too late.' - -So Dora said she had had enough of tents, and she was going to look at -the shops. H. O. went with her because he had twopence to spend. They -thought it was only a game of Alice's but Oswald knew by the way she -spoke. He can nearly always tell. And when people are not telling the -truth Oswald generally knows by the way they look with their eyes. -Oswald is not proud of being able to do this. He knows it is through no -merit of his own that he is much cleverer than some people. - -When they had gone, the rest of us got closer together and said-- - -'Now then.' - -'Well,' Alice said, 'you know the house next door? The people have gone -to Scarborough. And the house is shut up. But last night _I saw a -light in the windows_.' - -We asked her how and when, because her room is in the front, and she -couldn't possibly have seen. And then she said-- - -'I'll tell you if you boys will promise not ever to go fishing again -without me.' - -So we had to promise. - -Then she said-- - -'It was last night. I had forgotten to feed my rabbits and I woke up -and remembered it. And I was afraid I should find them dead in the -morning, like Oswald did.' - -'It wasn't my fault,' Oswald said; 'there was something the matter with -the beasts. I fed them right enough.' - -Alice said she didn't mean that, and she went on-- - -'I came down into the garden, and I saw a light in the house, and dark -figures moving about. I thought perhaps it was burglars, but Father -hadn't come home, and Eliza had gone to bed, so I couldn't do anything. -Only I thought perhaps I would tell the rest of you.' - -'Why didn't you tell us this morning?' Noel asked. And Alice explained -that she did not want to get any one into trouble, even burglars. 'But -we might watch to-night,' she said, 'and see if we see the light again.' - -'They might have been burglars,' Noel said. He was sucking the last bit -of his macaroni. 'You know the people next door are very grand. They -won't know us--and they go out in a real private carriage sometimes. -And they have an "At Home" day, and people come in cabs. I daresay they -have piles of plate and jewellery and rich brocades, and furs of price -and things like that. Let us keep watch to-night.' - -'It's no use watching to-night,' Dicky said; 'if it's only burglars they -won't come again. But there are other things besides burglars that are -discovered in empty houses where lights are seen moving.' - -'You mean coiners,' said Oswald at once. 'I wonder what the reward is -for setting the police on their track?' - -Dicky thought it ought to be something fat, because coiners are always a -desperate gang; and the machinery they make the coins with is so heavy -and handy for knocking down detectives. - -Then it was tea-time, and we went in; and Dora and H. O. had clubbed -their money together and bought a melon; quite a big one, and only a -little bit squashy at one end. It was very good, and then we washed the -seeds and made things with them and with pins and cotton. And nobody -said any more about watching the house next door. - -Only when we went to bed Dicky took off his coat and waistcoat, but he -stopped at his braces, and said-- - -'What about the coiners?' - -Oswald had taken off his collar and tie, and he was just going to say -the same, so he said, 'Of course I meant to watch, only my collar's -rather tight, so I thought I'd take it off first.' - -Dicky said he did not think the girls ought to be in it, because there -might be danger, but Oswald reminded him that they had promised Alice, -and that a promise is a sacred thing, even when you'd much rather not. -So Oswald got Alice alone under pretence of showing her a caterpillar-- -Dora does not like them, and she screamed and ran away when Oswald -offered to show it her. Then Oswald explained, and Alice agreed to come -and watch if she could. This made us later than we ought to have been, -because Alice had to wait till Dora was quiet and then creep out very -slowly, for fear of the boards creaking. The girls sleep with their -room-door open for fear of burglars. Alice had kept on her clothes -under her nightgown when Dora wasn't looking, and presently we got down, -creeping past Father's study, and out at the glass door that leads on to -the veranda and the iron steps into the garden. And we went down very -quietly, and got into the chestnut-tree; and then I felt that we had -only been playing what Albert's uncle calls our favourite instrument--I -mean the Fool. For the house next door was as dark as dark. Then -suddenly we heard a sound--it came from the gate at the end of the -garden. All the gardens have gates; they lead into a kind of lane that -runs behind them. It is a sort of back way, very convenient when you -don't want to say exactly where you are going. We heard the gate at the -end of the next garden click, and Dicky nudged Alice so that she would -have fallen out of the tree if it had not been for Oswald's -extraordinary presence of mind. Oswald squeezed Alice's arm tight, and -we all looked; and the others were rather frightened because really we -had not exactly expected anything to happen except perhaps a light. But -now a muffled figure, shrouded in a dark cloak, came swiftly up the path -of the next-door garden. And we could see that under its cloak the -figure carried a mysterious burden. The figure was dressed to look like -a woman in a sailor hat. - -We held our breath as it passed under the tree where we were, and then -it tapped very gently on the back door and was let in, and then a light -appeared in the window of the downstairs back breakfast-room. But the -shutters were up. - -Dicky said, 'My eye!' and wouldn't the others be sick to think they -hadn't been in this! But Alice didn't half like it--and as she is a -girl I do not blame her. Indeed, I thought myself at first that perhaps -it would be better to retire for the present, and return later with a -strongly armed force. - -'It's not burglars,' Alice whispered; 'the mysterious stranger was -bringing things in, not taking them out. They must be coiners--and oh, -Oswald!--don't let's! The things they coin with must hurt very much. -Do let's go to bed!' - -But Dicky said he was going to see; if there was a reward for finding -out things like this he would like to have the reward. - -'They locked the back door,' he whispered, 'I heard it go. And I could -look in quite well through the holes in the shutters and be back over -the wall long before they'd got the door open, even if they started to -do it at once.' - -There were holes at the top of the shutters the shape of hearts, and the -yellow light came out through them as well as through the chinks of the -shutters. - -Oswald said if Dicky went he should, because he was the eldest; and -Alice said, 'If any one goes it ought to be me, because I thought of -it.' - -So Oswald said, 'Well, go then'; and she said, 'Not for anything!' And -she begged us not to, and we talked about it in the tree till we were -all quite hoarse with whispering. - -At last we decided on a plan of action. - -Alice was to stay in the tree, and scream 'Murder!' if anything -happened. Dicky and I were to get down into the next garden and take it -in turns to peep. - -So we got down as quietly as we could, but the tree made much more noise -than it does in the day, and several times we paused, fearing that all -was discovered. But nothing happened. - -There was a pile of red flower-pots under the window and one very large -one was on the window-ledge. It seemed as if it was the hand of Destiny -had placed it there, and the geranium in it was dead, and there was -nothing to stop your standing on it--so Oswald did. He went first -because he is the eldest, and though Dicky tried to stop him because he -thought of it first it could not be, on account of not being able to say -anything. - -So Oswald stood on the flower-pot and tried to look through one of the -holes. He did not really expect to see the coiners at their fell work, -though he had pretended to when we were talking in the tree. But if he -had seen them pouring the base molten metal into tin moulds the shape of -half-crowns he would not have been half so astonished as he was at the -spectacle now revealed. - -At first he could see little, because the hole had unfortunately been -made a little too high, so that the eye of the detective could only see -the Prodigal Son in a shiny frame on the opposite wall. But Oswald held -on to the window-frame and stood on tiptoe and then he _saw_. - -There was no furnace, and no base metal, no bearded men in leathern -aprons with tongs and things, but just a table with a table-cloth on it -for supper, and a tin of salmon and a lettuce and some bottled beer. -And there on a chair was the cloak and the hat of the mysterious -stranger, and the two people sitting at the table were the two youngest -grown-up daughters of the lady next door, and one of them was saying-- - -'So I got the salmon three-halfpence cheaper, and the lettuces are only -six a penny in the Broadway, just fancy! We must save as much as ever -we can on our housekeeping money if we want to go away decent next -year.' - -And the other said, 'I wish we could _all_ go _every_ year, or else--Really, -I almost wish--' - -And all the time Oswald was looking Dicky was pulling at his jacket to -make him get down and let Dicky have a squint. And just as she said 'I -almost,' Dicky pulled too hard and Oswald felt himself toppling on the -giddy verge of the big flower-pots. Putting forth all his strength our -hero strove to recover his equi-what's-its-name, but it was now lost -beyond recall. - -'You've done it this time!' he said, then he fell heavily among the -flower-pots piled below. He heard them crash and rattle and crack, and -then his head struck against an iron pillar used for holding up the -next-door veranda. His eyes closed and he knew no more. - -Now you will perhaps expect that at this moment Alice would have cried -'Murder!' If you think so you little know what girls are. Directly she -was left alone in that tree she made a bolt to tell Albert's uncle all -about it and bring him to our rescue in case the coiner's gang was a -very desperate one. And just when I fell, Albert's uncle was getting -over the wall. Alice never screamed at all when Oswald fell, but Dicky -thinks he heard Albert's uncle say, 'Confound those kids!' which would -not have been kind or polite, so I hope he did not say it. - -The people next door did not come out to see what the row was. Albert's -uncle did not wait for them to come out. He picked up Oswald and -carried the insensible body of the gallant young detective to the wall, -laid it on the top, and then climbed over and bore his lifeless burden -into our house and put it on the sofa in Father's study. Father was -out, so we needn't have _crept_ so when we were getting into the garden. -Then Oswald was restored to consciousness, and his head tied up, and -sent to bed, and next day there was a lump on his young brow as big as a -turkey's egg, and very uncomfortable. - -Albert's uncle came in next day and talked to each of us separately. To -Oswald he said many unpleasant things about ungentlemanly to spy on -ladies, and about minding your own business; and when I began to tell -him what I had heard he told me to shut up, and altogether he made me -more uncomfortable than the bump did. - -Oswald did not say anything to any one, but next day, as the shadows of -eve were falling, he crept away, and wrote on a piece of paper, 'I want -to speak to you,' and shoved it through the hole like a heart in the top -of the next-door shutters. And the youngest young lady put an eye to the -heart-shaped hole, and then opened the shutter and said 'Well?' very -crossly. Then Oswald said-- - -'I am very sorry, and I beg your pardon. We wanted to be detectives, -and we thought a gang of coiners infested your house, so we looked -through your window last night. I saw the lettuce, and I heard what you -said about the salmon being three-halfpence cheaper, and I know it is -very dishonourable to pry into other people's secrets, especially -ladies', and I never will again if you will forgive me this once.' - -Then the lady frowned and then she laughed, and then she said-- - -'So it was you tumbling into the flower-pots last night? We thought it -was burglars. It frightened us horribly. Why, what a bump on your poor -head!' - -And then she talked to me a bit, and presently she said she and her -sister had not wished people to know they were at home, because--And -then she stopped short and grew very red, and I said, 'I thought you -were all at Scarborough; your servant told Eliza so. Why didn't you -want people to know you were at home?' - -The lady got redder still, and then she laughed and said-- - -'Never mind the reason why. I hope your head doesn't hurt much. Thank -you for your nice, manly little speech. _You've_ nothing to be ashamed -of, at any rate.' Then she kissed me, and I did not mind. And then she -said, 'Run away now, dear. I'm going to--I'm going to pull up the blinds -and open the shutters, and I want to do it at _once_, before it gets dark, -so that every one can see we're at home, and not at Scarborough.' - - - -CHAPTER 4 -GOOD HUNTING - -When we had got that four shillings by digging for treasure we ought, by -rights, to have tried Dicky's idea of answering the advertisement about -ladies and gentlemen and spare time and two pounds a week, but there -were several things we rather wanted. - -Dora wanted a new pair of scissors, and she said she was going to get -them with her eight-pence. But Alice said-- - -'You ought to get her those, Oswald, because you know you broke the -points off hers getting the marble out of the brass thimble.' - -It was quite true, though I had almost forgotten it, but then it was H. -O. who jammed the marble into the thimble first of all. So I said-- - -'It's H. O.'s fault as much as mine, anyhow. Why shouldn't he pay?' - -Oswald didn't so much mind paying for the beastly scissors, but he hates -injustice of every kind. - -'He's such a little kid,' said Dicky, and of course H. O. said he wasn't -a little kid, and it very nearly came to being a row between them. But -Oswald knows when to be generous; so he said-- - -'Look here! I'll pay sixpence of the scissors, and H. O. shall pay the -rest, to teach him to be careful.' - -H. O. agreed: he is not at all a mean kid, but I found out afterwards -that Alice paid his share out of her own money. - -Then we wanted some new paints, and Noel wanted a pencil and a halfpenny -account-book to write poetry with, and it does seem hard never to have -any apples. So, somehow or other nearly all the money got spent, and we -agreed that we must let the advertisement run loose a little longer. - -'I only hope,' Alice said, 'that they won't have got all the ladies and -gentlemen they want before we have got the money to write for the sample -and instructions.' - -And I was a little afraid myself, because it seemed such a splendid -chance; but we looked in the paper every day, and the advertisement was -always there, so we thought it was all right. - -Then we had the detective try-on--and it proved no go; and then, when -all the money was gone, except a halfpenny of mine and twopence of -Noel's and three-pence of Dicky's and a few pennies that the girls had -left, we held another council. - -Dora was sewing the buttons on H. O.'s Sunday things. He got himself a -knife with his money, and he cut every single one of his best buttons -off. You've no idea how many buttons there are on a suit. Dora counted -them. There are twenty-four, counting the little ones on the sleeves -that don't undo. - -Alice was trying to teach Pincher to beg; but he has too much sense when -he knows you've got nothing in your hands, and the rest of us were -roasting potatoes under the fire. We had made a fire on purpose, though -it was rather warm. They are very good if you cut away the burnt -parts--but you ought to wash them first, or you are a dirty boy. - -'Well, what can we do?' said Dicky. 'You are so fond of saying "Let's -do something!" and never saying what.' - -'We can't try the advertisement yet. Shall we try rescuing some one?' -said Oswald. It was his own idea, but he didn't insist on doing it, -though he is next to the eldest, for he knows it is bad manners to make -people do what you want, when they would rather not. - -'What was Noel's plan?' Alice asked. - -'A Princess or a poetry book,' said Noel sleepily. He was lying on his -back on the sofa, kicking his legs. 'Only I shall look for the Princess -all by myself. But I'll let you see her when we're married.' - -'Have you got enough poetry to make a book?' Dicky asked that, and it -was rather sensible of him, because when Noel came to look there were -only seven of his poems that any of us could understand. There was the -'Wreck of the Malabar', and the poem he wrote when Eliza took us to hear -the Reviving Preacher, and everybody cried, and Father said it must have -been the Preacher's Eloquence. So Noel wrote: - - O Eloquence and what art thou? - Ay what art thou? because we cried - And everybody cried inside - When they came out their eyes were red-- - And it was your doing Father said. - -But Noel told Alice he got the first line and a half from a book a boy -at school was going to write when he had time. Besides this there were -the 'Lines on a Dead Black Beetle that was poisoned'-- - - O Beetle how I weep to see - Thee lying on thy poor back! - It is so very sad indeed. - You were so shiny and black. - I wish you were alive again - But Eliza says wishing it is nonsense and a shame. - -It was very good beetle poison, and there were hundreds of them lying -dead--but Noel only wrote a piece of poetry for one of them. He said he -hadn't time to do them all, and the worst of it was he didn't know which -one he'd written it to--so Alice couldn't bury the beetle and put the -lines on its grave, though she wanted to very much. - -Well, it was quite plain that there wasn't enough poetry for a book. - -'We might wait a year or two,' said Noel. 'I shall be sure to make some -more some time. I thought of a piece about a fly this morning that knew -condensed milk was sticky.' - -'But we want the money _now_,' said Dicky, 'and you can go on writing -just the same. It will come in some time or other.' - -'There's poetry in newspapers,' said Alice. 'Down, Pincher! you'll -never be a clever dog, so it's no good trying.' - -'Do they pay for it?' Dicky thought of that; he often thinks of things -that are really important, even if they are a little dull. - -'I don't know. But I shouldn't think any one would let them print their -poetry without. I wouldn't I know.' That was Dora; but Noel said he -wouldn't mind if he didn't get paid, so long as he saw his poetry -printed and his name at the end. - -'We might try, anyway,' said Oswald. He is always willing to give other -people's ideas a fair trial. - -So we copied out 'The Wreck of the Malabar' and the other six poems on -drawing-paper--Dora did it, she writes best--and Oswald drew a picture -of the Malabar going down with all hands. It was a full-rigged -schooner, and all the ropes and sails were correct; because my cousin is -in the Navy, and he showed me. - -We thought a long time whether we'd write a letter and send it by post -with the poetry--and Dora thought it would be best. But Noel said he -couldn't bear not to know at once if the paper would print the poetry, -So we decided to take it. - -I went with Noel, because I am the eldest, and he is not old enough to -go to London by himself. Dicky said poetry was rot--and he was glad he -hadn't got to make a fool of himself. That was because there was not -enough money for him to go with us. H. O. couldn't come either, but he -came to the station to see us off, and waved his cap and called out -'Good hunting!' as the train started. - -There was a lady in spectacles in the corner. She was writing with a -pencil on the edges of long strips of paper that had print all down -them. When the train started she asked-- - -'What was that he said?' - -So Oswald answered-- - -'It was "Good hunting"--it's out of the Jungle Book!' 'That's very -pleasant to hear,' the lady said; 'I am very pleased to meet people who -know their Jungle Book. And where are you off to--the Zoological -Gardens to look for Bagheera?' - -We were pleased, too, to meet some one who knew the Jungle Book. - -So Oswald said-- - -'We are going to restore the fallen fortunes of the House of Bastable-- -and we have all thought of different ways--and we're going to try them -all. Noel's way is poetry. I suppose great poets get paid?' - -The lady laughed--she was awfully jolly--and said she was a sort of -poet, too, and the long strips of paper were the proofs of her new book -of stories. Because before a book is made into a real book with pages -and a cover, they sometimes print it all on strips of paper, and the -writer make marks on it with a pencil to show the printers what idiots -they are not to understand what a writer means to have printed. - -We told her all about digging for treasure, and what we meant to do. -Then she asked to see Noel's poetry--and he said he didn't like--so she -said, 'Look here--if you'll show me yours I'll show you some of mine.' -So he agreed. - -The jolly lady read Noel's poetry, and she said she liked it very much. -And she thought a great deal of the picture of the Malabar. And then -she said, 'I write serious poetry like yours myself; too, but I have a -piece here that I think you will like because it's about a boy.' She -gave it to us--and so I can copy it down, and I will, for it shows that -some grown-up ladies are not so silly as others. I like it better than -Noel's poetry, though I told him I did not, because he looked as if he -was going to cry. This was very wrong, for you should always speak the -truth, however unhappy it makes people. And I generally do. But I did -not want him crying in the railway carriage. The lady's piece of -poetry: - - Oh when I wake up in my bed - And see the sun all fat and red, - I'm glad to have another day - For all my different kinds of play. - - There are so many things to do-- - The things that make a man of you, - If grown-ups did not get so vexed - And wonder what you will do next. - - I often wonder whether they - Ever made up our kinds of play-- - If they were always good as gold - And only did what they were told. - - They like you best to play with tops - And toys in boxes, bought in shops; - They do not even know the names - Of really interesting games. - - They will not let you play with fire - Or trip your sister up with wire, - They grudge the tea-tray for a drum, - Or booby-traps when callers come. - - They don't like fishing, and it's true - You sometimes soak a suit or two: - They look on fireworks, though they're dry, - With quite a disapproving eye. - - They do not understand the way - To get the most out of your day: - They do not know how hunger feels - Nor what you need between your meals. - - And when you're sent to bed at night, - They're happy, but they're not polite. - For through the door you hear them say: - '_He's_ done _his_ mischief for the day!' - -She told us a lot of other pieces but I cannot remember them, and she -talked to us all the way up, and when we got nearly to Cannon Street she -said-- - -'I've got two new shillings here! Do you think they would help to -smooth the path to Fame?' - -Noel said, 'Thank you,' and was going to take the shilling. But Oswald, -who always remembers what he is told, said-- - -'Thank you very much, but Father told us we ought never to take anything -from strangers.' - -'That's a nasty one,' said the lady--she didn't talk a bit like a real -lady, but more like a jolly sort of grown-up boy in a dress and hat--'a -very nasty one! But don't you think as Noel and I are both poets I might -be considered a sort of relation? You've heard of brother poets, -haven't you? Don't you think Noel and I are aunt and nephew poets, or -some relationship of that kind?' - -I didn't know what to say, and she went on-- - -'It's awfully straight of you to stick to what your Father tells you, -but look here, you take the shillings, and here's my card. When you get -home tell your Father all about it, and if he says No, you can just -bring the shillings back to me.' - -So we took the shillings, and she shook hands with us and said, 'Good- -bye, and good hunting!' - -We did tell Father about it, and he said it was all right, and when he -looked at the card he told us we were highly honoured, for the lady -wrote better poetry than any other lady alive now. We had never heard of -her, and she seemed much too jolly for a poet. Good old Kipling! We -owe him those two shillings, as well as the Jungle books! - - - -CHAPTER 5 -THE POET AND THE EDITOR - -It was not bad sport--being in London entirely on our own hook. We asked -the way to Fleet Street, where Father says all the newspaper offices -are. They said straight on down Ludgate Hill--but it turned out to be -quite another way. At least _we_ didn't go straight on. - -We got to St Paul's. Noel _would_ go in, and we saw where Gordon was -buried--at least the monument. It is very flat, considering what a man -he was. - -When we came out we walked a long way, and when we asked a policeman he -said we'd better go back through Smithfield. So we did. They don't -burn people any more there now, so it was rather dull, besides being a -long way, and Noel got very tired. He's a peaky little chap; it comes -of being a poet, I think. We had a bun or two at different shops--out -of the shillings--and it was quite late in the afternoon when we got to -Fleet Street. The gas was lighted and the electric lights. There is a -jolly Bovril sign that comes off and on in different coloured lamps. We -went to the Daily Recorder office, and asked to see the Editor. It is a -big office, very bright, with brass and mahogany and electric lights. - -They told us the Editor wasn't there, but at another office. So we went -down a dirty street, to a very dull-looking place. There was a man -there inside, in a glass case, as if he was a museum, and he told us to -write down our names and our business. So Oswald wrote-- - - OSWALD BASTABLE - NOEL BASTABLE - BUSINESS VERY PRIVATE INDEED - -Then we waited on the stone stairs; it was very draughty. And the man -in the glass case looked at us as if we were the museum instead of him. -We waited a long time, and then a boy came down and said-- - -'The Editor can't see you. Will you please write your business?' And he -laughed. I wanted to punch his head. - -But Noel said, 'Yes, I'll write it if you'll give me a pen and ink, and -a sheet of paper and an envelope.' - -The boy said he'd better write by post. But Noel is a bit pig-headed; -it's his worst fault. So he said--'No, I'll write it _now_.' So I -backed him up by saying-- - -'Look at the price penny stamps are since the coal strike!' - -So the boy grinned, and the man in the glass case gave us pen and paper, -and Noel wrote. Oswald writes better than he does; but Noel would do -it; and it took a very long time, and then it was inky. - - DEAR MR EDITOR, I want you to print my poetry and pay for it, - and I am a friend of Mrs Leslie's; she is a poet too. - - Your affectionate friend, - - NOEL BASTABLE. - -He licked the envelope a good deal, so that that boy shouldn't read it -going upstairs; and he wrote 'Very private' outside, and gave the letter -to the boy. I thought it wasn't any good; but in a minute the grinning -boy came back, and he was quite respectful, and said--'The Editor says, -please will you step up?' - -We stepped up. There were a lot of stairs and passages, and a queer -sort of humming, hammering sound and a very funny smell. The boy was now -very polite, and said it was the ink we smelt, and the noise was the -printing machines. - -After going through a lot of cold passages we came to a door; the boy -opened it, and let us go in. There was a large room, with a big, soft, -blue-and-red carpet, and a roaring fire, though it was only October; and -a large table with drawers, and littered with papers, just like the one -in Father's study. A gentleman was sitting at one side of the table; he -had a light moustache and light eyes, and he looked very young to be an -editor--not nearly so old as Father. He looked very tired and sleepy, -as if he had got up very early in the morning; but he was kind, and we -liked him. Oswald thought he looked clever. Oswald is considered a -judge of faces. - -'Well,' said he, 'so you are Mrs Leslie's friends?' - -'I think so,' said Noel; 'at least she gave us each a shilling, and she -wished us "good hunting!"' - -'Good hunting, eh? Well, what about this poetry of yours? Which is the -poet?' - -I can't think how he could have asked! Oswald is said to be a very -manly-looking boy for his age. However, I thought it would look -duffing to be offended, so I said-- - -'This is my brother Noel. He is the poet.' Noel had turned quite pale. -He is disgustingly like a girl in some ways. The Editor told us to sit -down, and he took the poems from Noel, and began to read them. Noel got -paler and paler; I really thought he was going to faint, like he did -when I held his hand under the cold-water tap, after I had accidentally -cut him with my chisel. When the Editor had read the first poem--it -was the one about the beetle--he got up and stood with his back to us. -It was not manners; but Noel thinks he did it 'to conceal his emotion,' -as they do in books. He read all the poems, and then he said-- - -'I like your poetry very much, young man. I'll give you--let me see; -how much shall I give you for it?' - -'As much as ever you can,' said Noel. 'You see I want a good deal of -money to restore the fallen fortunes of the house of Bastable.' - -The gentleman put on some eye-glasses and looked hard at us. Then he sat -down. - -'That's a good idea,' said he. 'Tell me how you came to think of it. -And, I say, have you had any tea? They've just sent out for mine.' - -He rang a tingly bell, and the boy brought in a tray with a teapot and a -thick cup and saucer and things, and he had to fetch another tray for -us, when he was told to; and we had tea with the Editor of the Daily -Recorder. I suppose it was a very proud moment for Noel, though I did -not think of that till afterwards. The Editor asked us a lot of -questions, and we told him a good deal, though of course I did not tell -a stranger all our reasons for thinking that the family fortunes wanted -restoring. We stayed about half an hour, and when we were going away he -said again-- - -'I shall print all your poems, my poet; and now what do you think -they're worth?' - -'I don't know,' Noel said. 'You see I didn't write them to sell.' - -'Why did you write them then?' he asked. - -Noel said he didn't know; he supposed because he wanted to. - -'Art for Art's sake, eh?' said the Editor, and he seemed quite -delighted, as though Noel had said something clever. - -'Well, would a guinea meet your views?' he asked. - -I have read of people being at a loss for words, and dumb with emotion, -and I've read of people being turned to stone with astonishment, or joy, -or something, but I never knew how silly it looked till I saw Noel -standing staring at the Editor with his mouth open. He went red and he -went white, and then he got crimson, as if you were rubbing more and -more crimson lake on a palette. But he didn't say a word, so Oswald had -to say-- - -'I should jolly well think so.' - -So the Editor gave Noel a sovereign and a shilling, and he shook hands -with us both, but he thumped Noel on the back and said-- - -'Buck up, old man! It's your first guinea, but it won't be your last. -Now go along home, and in about ten years you can bring me some more -poetry. Not before--see? I'm just taking this poetry of yours because -I like it very much; but we don't put poetry in this paper at all. I -shall have to put it in another paper I know of.' - -'What _do_ you put in your paper?' I asked, for Father always takes the -Daily Chronicle, and I didn't know what the Recorder was like. We chose -it because it has such a glorious office, and a clock outside lighted -up. - -'Oh, news,' said he, 'and dull articles, and things about Celebrities. -If you know any Celebrities, now?' - -Noel asked him what Celebrities were. - -'Oh, the Queen and the Princes, and people with titles, and people who -write, or sing, or act--or do something clever or wicked.' - -'I don't know anybody wicked,' said Oswald, wishing he had known Dick -Turpin, or Claude Duval, so as to be able to tell the Editor things -about them. 'But I know some one with a title--Lord Tottenham.' - -'The mad old Protectionist, eh? How did you come to know him?' - -'We don't know him to speak to. But he goes over the Heath every day at -three, and he strides along like a giant--with a black cloak like Lord -Tennyson's flying behind him, and he talks to himself like one o'clock.' - -'What does he say?' The Editor had sat down again, and he was fiddling -with a blue pencil. - -'We only heard him once, close enough to understand, and then he said, -"The curse of the country, sir--ruin and desolation!" And then he went -striding along again, hitting at the furze-bushes as if they were the -heads of his enemies.' - -'Excellent descriptive touch,' said the Editor. 'Well, go on.' - -'That's all I know about him, except that he stops in the middle of the -Heath every day, and he looks all round to see if there's any one about, -and if there isn't, he takes his collar off.' - -The Editor interrupted--which is considered rude--and said-- - -'You're not romancing?' - -'I beg your pardon?' said Oswald. 'Drawing the long bow, I mean,' said -the Editor. - -Oswald drew himself up, and said he wasn't a liar. - -The Editor only laughed, and said romancing and lying were not at all -the same; only it was important to know what you were playing at. So -Oswald accepted his apology, and went on. - -'We were hiding among the furze-bushes one day, and we saw him do it. -He took off his collar, and he put on a clean one, and he threw the -other among the furze-bushes. We picked it up afterwards, and it was a -beastly paper one!' - -'Thank you,' said the Editor, and he got up and put his hand in his -pocket. 'That's well worth five shillings, and there they are. Would -you like to see round the printing offices before you go home?' - -I pocketed my five bob, and thanked him, and I said we should like it -very much. He called another gentleman and said something we couldn't -hear. Then he said good-bye again; and all this time Noel hadn't said a -word. But now he said, 'I've made a poem about you. It is called -"Lines to a Noble Editor." Shall I write it down?' - -The Editor gave him the blue pencil, and he sat down at the Editor's -table and wrote. It was this, he told me afterwards as well as he could -remember-- - - May Life's choicest blessings be your lot - I think you ought to be very blest - For you are going to print my poems-- - And you may have this one as well as the rest. - -'Thank you,' said the Editor. 'I don't think I ever had a poem -addressed to me before. I shall treasure it, I assure you.' - -Then the other gentleman said something about Maecenas, and we went off -to see the printing office with at least one pound seven in our pockets. - -It _was_ good hunting, and no mistake! - -But he never put Noel's poetry in the Daily Recorder. It was quite a -long time afterwards we saw a sort of story thing in a magazine, on the -station bookstall, and that kind, sleepy-looking Editor had written it, -I suppose. It was not at all amusing. It said a lot about Noel and me, -describing us all wrong, and saying how we had tea with the Editor; and -all Noel's poems were in the story thing. I think myself the Editor -seemed to make game of them, but Noel was quite pleased to see them -printed--so that's all right. It wasn't my poetry anyhow, I am glad to -say. - - - -CHAPTER 6 -NOEL'S PRINCESS - -She happened quite accidentally. We were not looking for a Princess at -all just then; but Noel had said he was going to find a Princess all by -himself; and marry her--and he really did. Which was rather odd, because -when people say things are going to befall, very often they don't. It -was different, of course, with the prophets of old. - -We did not get any treasure by it, except twelve chocolate drops; but we -might have done, and it was an adventure, anyhow. - -Greenwich Park is a jolly good place to play in, especially the parts -that aren't near Greenwich. The parts near the Heath are first-rate. I -often wish the Park was nearer our house; but I suppose a Park is a -difficult thing to move. - -Sometimes we get Eliza to put lunch in a basket, and we go up to the -Park. She likes that--it saves cooking dinner for us; and sometimes she -says of her own accord, 'I've made some pasties for you, and you might -as well go into the Park as not. It's a lovely day.' - -She always tells us to rinse out the cup at the drinking-fountain, and -the girls do; but I always put my head under the tap and drink. Then -you are an intrepid hunter at a mountain stream--and besides, you're -sure it's clean. Dicky does the same, and so does H. O. But Noel always -drinks out of the cup. He says it is a golden goblet wrought by -enchanted gnomes. - -The day the Princess happened was a fine, hot day, last October, and we -were quite tired with the walk up to the Park. - -We always go in by the little gate at the top of Croom's Hill. It is the -postern gate that things always happen at in stories. It was dusty -walking, but when we got in the Park it was ripping, so we rested a bit, -and lay on our backs, and looked up at the trees, and wished we could -play monkeys. I have done it before now, but the Park-keeper makes a -row if he catches you. - -When we'd rested a little, Alice said-- - -'It was a long way to the enchanted wood, but it is very nice now we are -there. I wonder what we shall find in it?' - -'We shall find deer,' said Dicky, 'if we go to look; but they go on the -other side of the Park because of the people with buns.' - -Saying buns made us think of lunch, so we had it; and when we had done -we scratched a hole under a tree and buried the papers, because we know -it spoils pretty places to leave beastly, greasy papers lying about. I -remember Mother teaching me and Dora that, when we were quite little. I -wish everybody's parents would teach them this useful lesson, and the -same about orange peel. - -When we'd eaten everything there was, Alice whispered-- - -'I see the white witch bear yonder among the trees! Let's track it and -slay it in its lair.' - -'I am the bear,' said Noel; so he crept away, and we followed him among -the trees. Often the witch bear was out of sight, and then you didn't -know where it would jump out from; but sometimes we saw it, and just -followed. - -'When we catch it there'll be a great fight,' said Oswald; 'and I shall -be Count Folko of Mont Faucon.' - -'I'll be Gabrielle,' said Dora. She is the only one of us who likes -doing girl's parts. - -'I'll be Sintram,' said Alice; 'and H. O. can be the Little Master.' - -'What about Dicky?' - -'Oh, I can be the Pilgrim with the bones.' - -'Hist!' whispered Alice. 'See his white fairy fur gleaming amid yonder -covert!' - -And I saw a bit of white too. It was Noel's collar, and it had come -undone at the back. - -We hunted the bear in and out of the trees, and then we lost him -altogether; and suddenly we found the wall of the Park--in a place where -I'm sure there wasn't a wall before. Noel wasn't anywhere about, and -there was a door in the wall. And it was open; so we went through. - -'The bear has hidden himself in these mountain fastnesses,' Oswald said. -'I will draw my good sword and after him.' - -So I drew the umbrella, which Dora always will bring in case it rains, -because Noel gets a cold on the chest at the least thing--and we went -on. - -The other side of the wall it was a stable yard, all cobble-stones. - -There was nobody about--but we could hear a man rubbing down a horse and -hissing in the stable; so we crept very quietly past, and Alice -whispered-- - -''Tis the lair of the Monster Serpent; I hear his deadly hiss! Beware! -Courage and despatch!' - -We went over the stones on tiptoe, and we found another wall with -another door in it on the other side. We went through that too, on -tiptoe. It really was an adventure. And there we were in a shrubbery, -and we saw something white through the trees. Dora said it was the -white bear. That is so like Dora. She always begins to take part in a -play just when the rest of us are getting tired of it. I don't mean this -unkindly, because I am very fond of Dora. I cannot forget how kind she -was when I had bronchitis; and ingratitude is a dreadful vice. But it -is quite true. - -'It is not a bear,' said Oswald; and we all went on, still on tiptoe, -round a twisty path and on to a lawn, and there was Noel. His collar had -come undone, as I said, and he had an inky mark on his face that he made -just before we left the house, and he wouldn't let Dora wash it off, and -one of his bootlaces was coming down. He was standing looking at a -little girl; she was the funniest little girl you ever saw. - -She was like a china doll--the sixpenny kind; she had a white face, and -long yellow hair, done up very tight in two pigtails; her forehead was -very big and lumpy, and her cheeks came high up, like little shelves -under her eyes. Her eyes were small and blue. She had on a funny black -frock, with curly braid on it, and button boots that went almost up to -her knees. Her legs were very thin. She was sitting in a hammock chair -nursing a blue kitten--not a sky-blue one, of course, but the colour of -a new slate pencil. As we came up we heard her say to Noel--'Who are -you?' - -Noel had forgotten about the bear, and he was taking his favourite part, -so he said--'I'm Prince Camaralzaman.' - -The funny little girl looked pleased-- - -'I thought at first you were a common boy,' she said. Then she saw the -rest of us and said-- - -'Are you all Princesses and Princes too?' - -Of course we said 'Yes,' and she said-- - -'I am a Princess also.' She said it very well too, exactly as if it -were true. We were very glad, because it is so seldom you meet any -children who can begin to play right off without having everything -explained to them. And even then they will say they are going to -'pretend to be' a lion, or a witch, or a king. Now this little girl just -said 'I _am_ a Princess.' Then she looked at Oswald and said, 'I fancy -I've seen you at Baden.' - -Of course Oswald said, 'Very likely.' - -The little girl had a funny voice, and all her words were quite plain, -each word by itself; she didn't talk at all like we do. - -H. O. asked her what the cat's name was, and she said 'Katinka.' Then -Dicky said-- - -'Let's get away from the windows; if you play near windows some one -inside generally knocks at them and says "Don't".' - -The Princess put down the cat very carefully and said-- - -'I am forbidden to walk off the grass.' - -'That's a pity,' said Dora. - -'But I will if you like,' said the Princess. - -'You mustn't do things you are forbidden to do,' Dora said; but Dicky -showed us that there was some more grass beyond the shrubs with only a -gravel path between. So I lifted the Princess over the gravel, so that -she should be able to say she hadn't walked off the grass. When we got -to the other grass we all sat down, and the Princess asked us if we -liked 'dragees' (I know that's how you spell it, for I asked Albert- -next-door's uncle). - -We said we thought not, but she pulled a real silver box out of her -pocket and showed us; they were just flat, round chocolates. We had two -each. Then we asked her her name, and she began, and when she began she -went on, and on, and on, till I thought she was never going to stop. H. -O. said she had fifty names, but Dicky is very good at figures, and he -says there were only eighteen. The first were Pauline, Alexandra, -Alice, and Mary was one, and Victoria, for we all heard that, and it -ended up with Hildegarde Cunigonde something or other, Princess of -something else. - -When she'd done, H. O. said, 'That's jolly good! Say it again!' and she -did, but even then we couldn't remember it. We told her our names, but -she thought they were too short, so when it was Noel's turn he said he -was Prince Noel Camaralzaman Ivan Constantine Charlemagne James John -Edward Biggs Maximilian Bastable Prince of Lewisham, but when she asked -him to say it again of course he could only get the first two names -right, because he'd made it up as he went on. - -So the Princess said, 'You are quite old enough to know your own name.' -She was very grave and serious. - -She told us that she was the fifth cousin of Queen Victoria. We asked -who the other cousins were, but she did not seem to understand. She -went on and said she was seven times removed. She couldn't tell us what -that meant either, but Oswald thinks it means that the Queen's cousins -are so fond of her that they will keep coming bothering, so the Queen's -servants have orders to remove them. This little girl must have been -very fond of the Queen to try so often to see her, and to have been -seven times removed. We could see that it is considered something to be -proud of; but we thought it was hard on the Queen that her cousins -wouldn't let her alone. - -Presently the little girl asked us where our maids and governesses were. - -We told her we hadn't any just now. And she said-- - -'How pleasant! And did you come here alone?' - -'Yes,' said Dora; 'we came across the Heath.' - -'You are very fortunate,' said the little girl. She sat very upright on -the grass, with her fat little hands in her lap. 'I should like to go -on the Heath. There are donkeys there, with white saddle covers. I -should like to ride them, but my governess will not permit.' - -'I'm glad we haven't a governess,' H. O. said. 'We ride the donkeys -whenever we have any pennies, and once I gave the man another penny to -make it gallop.' - -'You are indeed fortunate!' said the Princess again, and when she looked -sad the shelves on her cheeks showed more than ever. You could have -laid a sixpence on them quite safely if you had had one. - -'Never mind,' said Noel; 'I've got a lot of money. Come out and have a -ride now.' But the little girl shook her head and said she was afraid -it would not be correct. - -Dora said she was quite right; then all of a sudden came one of those -uncomfortable times when nobody can think of anything to say, so we sat -and looked at each other. But at last Alice said we ought to be going. - -'Do not go yet,' the little girl said. 'At what time did they order -your carriage?' - -'Our carriage is a fairy one, drawn by griffins, and it comes when we -wish for it,' said Noel. - -The little girl looked at him very queerly, and said, 'That is out of a -picture-book.' - -Then Noel said he thought it was about time he was married if we were to -be home in time for tea. The little girl was rather stupid over it, but -she did what we told her, and we married them with Dora's pocket- -handkerchief for a veil, and the ring off the back of one of the buttons -on H. O.'s blouse just went on her little finger. - -Then we showed her how to play cross-touch, and puss in the corner, and -tag. It was funny, she didn't know any games but battledore and -shuttlecock and les graces. But she really began to laugh at last and -not to look quite so like a doll. - -She was Puss and was running after Dicky when suddenly she stopped short -and looked as if she was going to cry. And we looked too, and there -were two prim ladies with little mouths and tight hair. One of them -said in quite an awful voice, 'Pauline, who are these children?' and her -voice was gruff; with very curly R's. - -The little girl said we were Princes and Princesses--which was silly, to -a grown-up person that is not a great friend of yours. - -The gruff lady gave a short, horrid laugh, like a husky bark, and said-- - -'Princes, indeed! They're only common children!' - -Dora turned very red and began to speak, but the little girl cried out -'Common children! Oh, I am so glad! When I am grown up I'll always -play with common children.' - -And she ran at us, and began to kiss us one by one, beginning with -Alice; she had got to H. O. when the horrid lady said--'Your Highness-- -go indoors at once!' - -The little girl answered, 'I won't!' - -Then the prim lady said--'Wilson, carry her Highness indoors.' - -And the little girl was carried away screaming, and kicking with her -little thin legs and her buttoned boots, and between her screams she -shrieked: - -'Common children! I am glad, glad, glad! Common children! Common -children!' - -The nasty lady then remarked--'Go at once, or I will send for the -police!' - -So we went. H. O. made a face at her and so did Alice, but Oswald took -off his cap and said he was sorry if she was annoyed about anything; for -Oswald has always been taught to be polite to ladies, however nasty. -Dicky took his off, too, when he saw me do it; he says he did it first, -but that is a mistake. If I were really a common boy I should say it -was a lie. - -Then we all came away, and when we got outside Dora said, 'So she was -really a Princess. Fancy a Princess living _there_!' - -'Even Princesses have to live somewhere,' said Dicky. - -'And I thought it was play. And it was real. I wish I'd known! I -should have liked to ask her lots of things,' said Alice. - -H. O. said he would have liked to ask her what she had for dinner and -whether she had a crown. - -I felt, myself, we had lost a chance of finding out a great deal about -kings and queens. I might have known such a stupid-looking little girl -would never have been able to pretend, as well as that. - -So we all went home across the Heath, and made dripping toast for tea. - -When we were eating it Noel said, 'I wish I could give _her_ some! -It is very good.' - -He sighed as he said it, and his mouth was very full, so we knew he was -thinking of his Princess. He says now that she was as beautiful as the -day, but we remember her quite well, and she was nothing of the kind. - - - -CHAPTER 7 -BEING BANDITS - -Noel was quite tiresome for ever so long after we found the Princess. -He would keep on wanting to go to the Park when the rest of us didn't, -and though we went several times to please him, we never found that door -open again, and all of us except him knew from the first that it would -be no go. - -So now we thought it was time to do something to rouse him from the -stupor of despair, which is always done to heroes when anything baffling -has occurred. Besides, we were getting very short of money again--the -fortunes of your house cannot be restored (not so that they will last, -that is), even by the one pound eight we got when we had the 'good -hunting.' We spent a good deal of that on presents for Father's -birthday. We got him a paper-weight, like a glass bun, with a picture -of Lewisham Church at the bottom; and a blotting-pad, and a box of -preserved fruits, and an ivory penholder with a view of Greenwich Park -in the little hole where you look through at the top. He was most -awfully pleased and surprised, and when he heard how Noel and Oswald had -earned the money to buy the things he was more surprised still. Nearly -all the rest of our money went to get fireworks for the Fifth of -November. We got six Catherine wheels and four rockets; two -hand-lights, one red and one green; a sixpenny maroon; two -Roman-candles--they cost a shilling; some Italian streamers, a fairy -fountain, and a tourbillon that cost eighteen-pence and was very nearly -worth it. - -But I think crackers and squibs are a mistake. It's true you get a lot -of them for the money, and they are not bad fun for the first two or -three dozen, but you get jolly sick of them before you've let off your -sixpenn'orth. And the only amusing way is not allowed: it is putting -them in the fire. - -It always seems a long time till the evening when you have got fireworks -in the house, and I think as it was a rather foggy day we should have -decided to let them off directly after breakfast, only Father had said -he would help us to let them off at eight o'clock after he had had his -dinner, and you ought never to disappoint your father if you can help -it. - -You see we had three good reasons for trying H. O.'s idea of restoring -the fallen fortunes of our house by becoming bandits on the Fifth of -November. We had a fourth reason as well, and that was the best reason -of the lot. You remember Dora thought it would be wrong to be bandits. -And the Fifth of November came while Dora was away at Stroud staying -with her godmother. Stroud is in Gloucestershire. We were determined -to do it while she was out of the way, because we did not think it -wrong, and besides we meant to do it anyhow. - -We held a Council, of course, and laid our plans very carefully. We let -H. O. be Captain, because it was his idea. Oswald was Lieutenant. -Oswald was quite fair, because he let H. O. call himself Captain; but -Oswald is the eldest next to Dora, after all. - -Our plan was this. We were all to go up on to the Heath. Our house is -in the Lewisham Road, but it's quite close to the Heath if you cut up -the short way opposite the confectioner's, past the nursery gardens and -the cottage hospital, and turn to the left again and afterwards to the -right. You come out then at the top of the hill, where the big guns are -with the iron fence round them, and where the bands play on Thursday -evenings in the summer. - -We were to lurk in ambush there, and waylay an unwary traveller. We were -to call upon him to surrender his arms, and then bring him home and put -him in the deepest dungeon below the castle moat; then we were to load -him with chains and send to his friends for ransom. - -You may think we had no chains, but you are wrong, because we used to -keep two other dogs once, besides Pincher, before the fall of the -fortunes of the ancient House of Bastable. And they were quite big -dogs. - -It was latish in the afternoon before we started. We thought we could -lurk better if it was nearly dark. It was rather foggy, and we waited a -good while beside the railings, but all the belated travellers were -either grown up or else they were Board School children. We weren't -going to get into a row with grown-up people--especially strangers--and -no true bandit would ever stoop to ask a ransom from the relations of -the poor and needy. So we thought it better to wait. - -As I said, it was Guy Fawkes Day, and if it had not been we should never -have been able to be bandits at all, for the unwary traveller we did -catch had been forbidden to go out because he had a cold in his head. -But he would run out to follow a guy, without even putting on a coat or -a comforter, and it was a very damp, foggy afternoon and nearly dark, so -you see it was his own fault entirely, and served him jolly well right. - -We saw him coming over the Heath just as we were deciding to go home to -tea. He had followed that guy right across to the village (we call -Blackheath the village; I don't know why), and he was coming back -dragging his feet and sniffing. - -'Hist, an unwary traveller approaches!' whispered Oswald. - -'Muffle your horses' heads and see to the priming of your pistols,' -muttered Alice. She always will play boys' parts, and she makes Ellis -cut her hair short on purpose. Ellis is a very obliging hairdresser. - -'Steal softly upon him,' said Noel; 'for lo! 'tis dusk, and no human -eyes can mark our deeds.' - -So we ran out and surrounded the unwary traveller. It turned out to be -Albert-next-door, and he was very frightened indeed until he saw who we -were. - -'Surrender!' hissed Oswald, in a desperate-sounding voice, as he caught -the arm of the Unwary. And Albert-next-door said, 'All right! I'm -surrendering as hard as I can. You needn't pull my arm off.' - -We explained to him that resistance was useless, and I think he saw that -from the first. We held him tight by both arms, and we marched him home -down the hill in a hollow square of five. - -He wanted to tell us about the guy, but we made him see that it was not -proper for prisoners to talk to the guard, especially about guys that -the prisoner had been told not to go after because of his cold. - -When we got to where we live he said, 'All right, I don't want to tell -you. You'll wish I had afterwards. You never saw such a guy.' - -'I can see _you_!' said H. O. It was very rude, and Oswald told him so at -once, because it is his duty as an elder brother. But H. O. is very -young and does not know better yet, and besides it wasn't bad for H. O. - -Albert-next-door said, 'You haven't any manners, and I want to go in to -my tea. Let go of me!' - -But Alice told him, quite kindly, that he was not going in to his tea, -but coming with us. - -'I'm not,' said Albert-next-door; 'I'm going home. Leave go! I've got a -bad cold. You're making it worse.' Then he tried to cough, which was -very silly, because we'd seen him in the morning, and he'd told us where -the cold was that he wasn't to go out with. When he had tried to cough, -he said, 'Leave go of me! You see my cold's getting worse.' - -'You should have thought of that before,' said Dicky; 'you're coming in -with us.' - -'Don't be a silly,' said Noel; 'you know we told you at the very -beginning that resistance was useless. There is no disgrace in -yielding. We are five to your one.' - -By this time Eliza had opened the door, and we thought it best to take -him in without any more parlaying. To parley with a prisoner is not -done by bandits. - -Directly we got him safe into the nursery, H. O. began to jump about and -say, 'Now you're a prisoner really and truly!' - -And Albert-next-door began to cry. He always does. I wonder he didn't -begin long before--but Alice fetched him one of the dried fruits we gave -Father for his birthday. It was a green walnut. I have noticed the -walnuts and the plums always get left till the last in the box; the -apricots go first, and then the figs and pears; and the cherries, if -there are any. - -So he ate it and shut up. Then we explained his position to him, so -that there should be no mistake, and he couldn't say afterwards that he -had not understood. - -'There will be no violence,' said Oswald--he was now Captain of the -Bandits, because we all know H. O. likes to be Chaplain when we play -prisoners--'no violence. But you will be confined in a dark, -subterranean dungeon where toads and snakes crawl, and but little of the -light of day filters through the heavily mullioned windows. You will be -loaded with chains. Now don't begin again, Baby, there's nothing to cry -about; straw will be your pallet; beside you the gaoler will set a -ewer--a ewer is only a jug, stupid; it won't eat you--a ewer with water; -and a mouldering crust will be your food.' - -But Albert-next-door never enters into the spirit of a thing. He -mumbled something about tea-time. - -Now Oswald, though stern, is always just, and besides we were all rather -hungry, and tea was ready. So we had it at once, Albert-next-door and -all--and we gave him what was left of the four-pound jar of apricot jam -we got with the money Noel got for his poetry. And we saved our crusts -for the prisoner. - -Albert-next-door was very tiresome. Nobody could have had a nicer -prison than he had. We fenced him into a corner with the old wire -nursery fender and all the chairs, instead of putting him in the coal- -cellar as we had first intended. And when he said the dog-chains were -cold the girls were kind enough to warm his fetters thoroughly at the -fire before we put them on him. - -We got the straw cases of some bottles of wine someone sent Father one -Christmas--it is some years ago, but the cases are quite good. We -unpacked them very carefully and pulled them to pieces and scattered the -straw about. It made a lovely straw pallet, and took ever so long to -make--but Albert-next-door has yet to learn what gratitude really is. -We got the bread trencher for the wooden platter where the prisoner's -crusts were put--they were not mouldy, but we could not wait till they -got so, and for the ewer we got the toilet jug out of the spare-room -where nobody ever sleeps. And even then Albert-next-door couldn't be -happy like the rest of us. He howled and cried and tried to get out, -and he knocked the ewer over and stamped on the mouldering crusts. -Luckily there was no water in the ewer because we had forgotten it, only -dust and spiders. So we tied him up with the clothes-line from the back -kitchen, and we had to hurry up, which was a pity for him. We might -have had him rescued by a devoted page if he hadn't been so tiresome. -In fact Noel was actually dressing up for the page when Albert-next-door -kicked over the prison ewer. - -We got a sheet of paper out of an old exercise-book, and we made H. O. -prick his own thumb, because he is our little brother and it is our duty -to teach him to be brave. We none of us mind pricking ourselves; we've -done it heaps of times. H. O. didn't like it, but he agreed to do it, -and I helped him a little because he was so slow, and when he saw the -red bead of blood getting fatter and bigger as I squeezed his thumb he -was very pleased, just as I had told him he would be. - -This is what we wrote with H. O.'s blood, only the blood gave out when -we got to 'Restored', and we had to write the rest with crimson lake, -which is not the same colour, though I always use it, myself, for -painting wounds. - -While Oswald was writing it he heard Alice whispering to the prisoner -that it would soon be over, and it was only play. The prisoner left off -howling, so I pretended not to hear what she said. A Bandit Captain has -to overlook things sometimes. This was the letter-- - - 'Albert Morrison is held a prisoner by Bandits. - On payment of three thousand pounds he will be - restored to his sorrowing relatives, and all - will be forgotten and forgiven.' - -I was not sure about the last part, but Dicky was certain he had seen it -in the paper, so I suppose it must have been all right. - -We let H. O. take the letter; it was only fair, as it was his blood it -was written with, and told him to leave it next door for Mrs Morrison. - -H. O. came back quite quickly, and Albert-next-door's uncle came with -him. - -'What is all this, Albert?' he cried. 'Alas, alas, my nephew! Do I find -you the prisoner of a desperate band of brigands?' - -'Bandits,' said H. O; 'you know it says bandits.' - -'I beg your pardon, gentlemen,' said Albert-next-door's uncle, 'bandits -it is, of course. This, Albert, is the direct result of the pursuit of -the guy on an occasion when your doting mother had expressly warned you -to forgo the pleasures of the chase.' - -Albert said it wasn't his fault, and he hadn't wanted to play. - -'So ho!' said his uncle, 'impenitent too! Where's the dungeon?' - -We explained the dungeon, and showed him the straw pallet and the ewer -and the mouldering crusts and other things. - -'Very pretty and complete,' he said. 'Albert, you are more highly -privileged than ever I was. No one ever made me a nice dungeon when I -was your age. I think I had better leave you where you are.' - -Albert began to cry again and said he was sorry, and he would be a good -boy. - -'And on this old familiar basis you expect me to ransom you, do you? -Honestly, my nephew, I doubt whether you are worth it. Besides, the sum -mentioned in this document strikes me as excessive: Albert really is -_not_ worth three thousand pounds. Also by a strange and unfortunate -chance I haven't the money about me. Couldn't you take less?' - -We said perhaps we could. - -'Say eightpence,' suggested Albert-next-door's uncle, 'which is all the -small change I happen to have on my person.' - -'Thank you very much,' said Alice as he held it out; 'but are you sure -you can spare it? Because really it was only play.' - -'Quite sure. Now, Albert, the game is over. You had better run home to -your mother and tell her how much you've enjoyed yourself.' - -When Albert-next-door had gone his uncle sat in the Guy Fawkes armchair -and took Alice on his knee, and we sat round the fire waiting till it -would be time to let off our fireworks. We roasted the chestnuts he -sent Dicky out for, and he told us stories till it was nearly seven. -His stories are first-rate--he does all the parts in different voices. -At last he said-- - -'Look here, young-uns. I like to see you play and enjoy yourselves, and -I don't think it hurts Albert to enjoy himself too.' - -'I don't think he did much,' said H. O. But I knew what Albert-next- -door's uncle meant because I am much older than H. O. He went on-- - -'But what about Albert's mother? Didn't you think how anxious she would -be at his not coming home? As it happens I saw him come in with you, so -we knew it was all right. But if I hadn't, eh?' - -He only talks like that when he is very serious, or even angry. Other -times he talks like people in books--to us, I mean. - -We none of us said anything. But I was thinking. Then Alice spoke. - -Girls seem not to mind saying things that we don't say. She put her -arms round Albert-next-door's uncle's neck and said-- - -'We're very, very sorry. We didn't think about his mother. You see we -try very hard not to think about other people's mothers because--' - -Just then we heard Father's key in the door and Albert-next-door's uncle -kissed Alice and put her down, and we all went down to meet Father. As -we went I thought I heard Albert-next-door's uncle say something that -sounded like 'Poor little beggars!' - -He couldn't have meant us, when we'd been having such a jolly time, and -chestnuts, and fireworks to look forward to after dinner and everything! - - - -CHAPTER 8 -BEING EDITORS - -It was Albert's uncle who thought of our trying a newspaper. He said he -thought we should not find the bandit business a paying industry, as a -permanency, and that journalism might be. - -We had sold Noel's poetry and that piece of information about Lord -Tottenham to the good editor, so we thought it would not be a bad idea -to have a newspaper of our own. We saw plainly that editors must be -very rich and powerful, because of the grand office and the man in the -glass case, like a museum, and the soft carpets and big writing-table. -Besides our having seen a whole handful of money that the editor pulled -out quite carelessly from his trousers pocket when he gave me my five -bob. - -Dora wanted to be editor and so did Oswald, but he gave way to her -because she is a girl, and afterwards he knew that it is true what it -says in the copy-books about Virtue being its own Reward. Because you've -no idea what a bother it is. Everybody wanted to put in everything just -as they liked, no matter how much room there was on the page. It was -simply awful! Dora put up with it as long as she could and then she -said if she wasn't let alone she wouldn't go on being editor; they could -be the paper's editors themselves, so there. - -Then Oswald said, like a good brother: 'I will help you if you like, -Dora,' and she said, 'You're more trouble than all the rest of them! -Come and be editor and see how you like it. I give it up to you.' But -she didn't, and we did it together. We let Albert-next-door be sub- -editor, because he had hurt his foot with a nail in his boot that -gathered. - -When it was done Albert-next-door's uncle had it copied for us in -typewriting, and we sent copies to all our friends, and then of course -there was no one left that we could ask to buy it. We did not think of -that until too late. We called the paper the Lewisham Recorder; -Lewisham because we live there, and Recorder in memory of the good -editor. I could write a better paper on my head, but an editor is not -allowed to write all the paper. It is very hard, but he is not. You -just have to fill up with what you can get from other writers. If I -ever have time I will write a paper all by myself. It won't be patchy. -We had no time to make it an illustrated paper, but I drew the ship -going down with all hands for the first copy. But the typewriter can't -draw ships, so it was left out in the other copies. The time the first -paper took to write out no one would believe! This was the Newspaper: - - THE LEWISHAM RECORDER - - EDITORS: DORA AND OSWALD BASTABLE - - ------------ - EDITORIAL NOTE - -Every paper is written for some reason. Ours is because we want to sell -it and get money. If what we have written brings happiness to any sad -heart we shall not have laboured in vain. But we want the money too. -Many papers are content with the sad heart and the happiness, but we are -not like that, and it is best not to be deceitful. EDITORS. - -There will be two serial stories; One by Dicky and one by all of us. In -a serial story you only put in one chapter at a time. But we shall put -all our serial story at once, if Dora has time to copy it. Dicky's will -come later on. - - SERIAL STORY - BY US ALL - - CHAPTER I--by Dora - -The sun was setting behind a romantic-looking tower when two strangers -might have been observed descending the crest of the hill. The eldest, -a man in the prime of life; the other a handsome youth who reminded -everybody of Quentin Durward. They approached the Castle, in which the -fair Lady Alicia awaited her deliverers. She leaned from the -castellated window and waved her lily hand as they approached. They -returned her signal, and retired to seek rest and refreshment at a -neighbouring hostelry. - - ------------ - CHAPTER II--by Alice - -The Princess was very uncomfortable in the tower, because her fairy -godmother had told her all sorts of horrid things would happen if she -didn't catch a mouse every day, and she had caught so many mice that now -there were hardly any left to catch. So she sent her carrier pigeon to -ask the noble Strangers if they could send her a few mice--because she -would be of age in a few days and then it wouldn't matter. So the fairy -godmother--- (I'm very sorry, but there's no room to make the chapters -any longer.-ED.) - - ------------ - CHAPTER III--by the Sub-Editor - -(I can't--I'd much rather not--I don't know how.) - - ------------ - CHAPTER IV--by Dicky - -I must now retrace my steps and tell you something about our hero. You -must know he had been to an awfully jolly school, where they had turkey -and goose every day for dinner, and never any mutton, and as many helps -of pudding as a fellow cared to send up his plate for--so of course they -had all grown up very strong, and before he left school he challenged -the Head to have it out man to man, and he gave it him, I tell you. -That was the education that made him able to fight Red Indians, and to -be the stranger who might have been observed in the first chapter. - - ------------ - CHAPTER V--by Noel - -I think it's time something happened in this story. So then the dragon -he came out, blowing fire out of his nose, and he said-- - -'Come on, you valiant man and true, I'd like to have a set-to along of -you!' - -(That's bad English.--ED. I don't care; it's what the dragon said. Who -told you dragons didn't talk bad English?--Noel.) - -So the hero, whose name was Noeloninuris, replied-- - -'My blade is sharp, my axe is keen, - You're not nearly as big as a good many - dragons I've seen.' - -(Don't put in so much poetry, Noel. It's not fair, because none of the -others can do it.--ED.) - -And then they went at it, and he beat the dragon, just as he did the -Head in Dicky's part of the Story, and so he married the Princess, and -they lived--- (No they didn't--not till the last chapter.--ED.) - - ------------ - CHAPTER VI--by H. O. - -I think it's a very nice Story--but what about the mice? I don't want -to say any more. Dora can have what's left of my chapter. - - ------------ - CHAPTER VII--by the Editors - -And so when the dragon was dead there were lots of mice, because he used -to kill them for his tea but now they rapidly multiplied and ravaged the -country, so the fair lady Alicia, sometimes called the Princess, had to -say she would not marry any one unless they could rid the country of -this plague of mice. Then the Prince, whose real name didn't begin with -N, but was Osrawalddo, waved his magic sword, and the dragon stood -before them, bowing gracefully. They made him promise to be good, and -then they forgave him; and when the wedding breakfast came, all the -bones were saved for him. And so they were married and lived happy ever -after. - -(What became of the other stranger?--NOEL. The dragon ate him because he -asked too many questions.--EDITORS.) - -This is the end of the story. - - INSTRUCTIVE - -It only takes four hours and a quarter now to get from London to -Manchester; but I should not think any one would if they could help it. - -A DREADFUL WARNING. A wicked boy told me a very instructive thing about -ginger. They had opened one of the large jars, and he happened to take -out quite a lot, and he made it all right by dropping marbles in, till -there was as much ginger as before. But he told me that on the Sunday, -when it was coming near the part where there is only juice generally, I -had no idea what his feelings were. I don't see what he could have said -when they asked him. I should be sorry to act like it. - - ------------ - SCIENTIFIC - -Experiments should always be made out of doors. And don't use -benzoline.--DICKY. (That was when he burnt his eyebrows off.--ED.) - -The earth is 2,400 miles round, and 800 through--at least I think so, -but perhaps it's the other way.--DICKY. (You ought to have been sure -before you began.--ED.) - - ------------ - SCIENTIFIC COLUMN - -In this so-called Nineteenth Century Science is but too little -considered in the nurseries of the rich and proud. But we are not like -that. - -It is not generally known that if you put bits of camphor in luke-warm -water it will move about. If you drop sweet oil in, the camphor will -dart away and then stop moving. But don't drop any till you are tired -of it, because the camphor won't any more afterwards. Much amusement -and instruction is lost by not knowing things like this. - -If you put a sixpence under a shilling in a wine-glass, and blow hard -down the side of the glass, the sixpence will jump up and sit on the top -of the shilling. At least I can't do it myself, but my cousin can. He -is in the Navy. - - ------------ - ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS - -Noel. You are very poetical, but I am sorry to say it will not do. - -Alice. Nothing will ever make your hair curl, so it's no use. Some -people say it's more important to tidy up as you go along. I don't mean -you in particular, but every one. - -H. O. We never said you were tubby, but the Editor does not know any -cure. - -Noel. If there is any of the paper over when this newspaper is -finished, I will exchange it for your shut-up inkstand, or the knife -that has the useful thing in it for taking stones out of horses' feet, -but you can't have it without. - -H. O. There are many ways how your steam engine might stop working. You -might ask Dicky. He knows one of them. I think it is the way yours -stopped. - -Noel. If you think that by filling the garden with sand you can make -crabs build their nests there you are not at all sensible. - -You have altered your poem about the battle of Waterloo so often, that -we cannot read it except where the Duke waves his sword and says some -thing we can't read either. Why did you write it on blotting-paper with -purple chalk?--ED. (Because YOU KNOW WHO sneaked my pencil.--NOEL.) - - ------------ - POETRY - - The Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold, - And the way he came down was awful, I'm told; - But it's nothing to the way one of the Editors comes down on me, - If I crumble my bread-and-butter or spill my tea. - NOEL. - ------------ - CURIOUS FACTS - -If you hold a guinea-pig up by his tail his eyes drop out. - -You can't do half the things yourself that children in books do, making -models or soon. I wonder why?--ALICE. - -If you take a date's stone out and put in an almond and eat them -together, it is prime. I found this out.--SUB-EDITOR. - -If you put your wet hand into boiling lead it will not hurt you if you -draw it out quickly enough. I have never tried this.--DORA. - - ------------ - THE PURRING CLASS - - (Instructive Article) - -If I ever keep a school everything shall be quite different. Nobody -shall learn anything they don't want to. And sometimes instead of -having masters and mistresses we will have cats, and we will dress up in -cat skins and learn purring. 'Now, my dears,' the old cat will say, -'one, two, three all purr together,' and we shall purr like anything. - -She won't teach us to mew, but we shall know how without teaching. -Children do know some things without being taught.--ALICE. - - ------------ - POETRY - (Translated into French by Dora) - - Quand j'etais jeune et j'etais fou - J'achetai un violon pour dix-huit sous - Et tous les airs que je jouai - Etait over the hills and far away. - - Another piece of it - - Mercie jolie vache qui fait - Bon lait pour mon dejeuner - Tous les matins tous les soirs - Mon pain je mange, ton lait je boire. - - ------------ - RECREATIONS - -It is a mistake to think that cats are playful. I often try to -get a cat to play with me, and she never seems to care about the -game, no matter how little it hurts.--H. O. - -Making pots and pans with clay is fun, but do not tell the -grown-ups. It is better to surprise them; and then you must say -at once how easily it washes off--much easier than ink.--DICKY. - - ------------ - SAM REDFERN, OR THE BUSH RANGER'S BURIAL - - By Dicky - -'Well, Annie, I have bad news for you,' said Mr Ridgway, as he entered -the comfortable dining-room of his cabin in the Bush. 'Sam Redfern the -Bushranger is about this part of the Bush just now. I hope he will not -attack us with his gang.' - -'I hope not,' responded Annie, a gentle maiden of some sixteen summers. - -Just then came a knock at the door of the hut, and a gruff voice asked -them to open the door. - -'It is Sam Redfern the Bushranger, father,' said the girl. - -'The same,' responded the voice, and the next moment the hall door was -smashed in, and Sam Redfern sprang in, followed by his gang. - - ------------ - CHAPTER II - -Annie's Father was at once overpowered, and Annie herself lay bound with -cords on the drawing-room sofa. Sam Redfern set a guard round the -lonely hut, and all human aid was despaired of. But you never know. Far -away in the Bush a different scene was being enacted. - -'Must be Injuns,' said a tall man to himself as he pushed his way -through the brushwood. It was Jim Carlton, the celebrated detective. -'I know them,' he added; 'they are Apaches.' just then ten Indians in -full war-paint appeared. Carlton raised his rifle and fired, and -slinging their scalps on his arm he hastened towards the humble log hut -where resided his affianced bride, Annie Ridgway, sometimes known as the -Flower of the Bush. - - ------------ - CHAPTER III - -The moon was low on the horizon, and Sam Redfern was seated at a -drinking bout with some of his boon companions. - -They had rifled the cellars of the hut, and the rich wines flowed like -water in the golden goblets of Mr Ridgway. - -But Annie had made friends with one of the gang, a noble, good-hearted -man who had joined Sam Redfern by mistake, and she had told him to go -and get the police as quickly as possible. - -'Ha! ha!' cried Redfern, 'now I am enjoying myself!' He little knew that -his doom was near upon him. - -Just then Annie gave a piercing scream, and Sam Redfern got up, seizing -his revolver. 'Who are you?' he cried, as a man entered. - -'I am Jim Carlton, the celebrated detective,' said the new arrival. - -Sam Redfern's revolver dropped from his nerveless fingers, but the next -moment he had sprung upon the detective with the well-known activity of -the mountain sheep, and Annie shrieked, for she had grown to love the -rough Bushranger. - -(To be continued at the end of the paper if there is room.) - - ------------ - SCHOLASTIC - -A new slate is horrid till it is washed in milk. I like the green spots -on them to draw patterns round. I know a good way to make a slate- -pencil squeak, but I won't put it in because I don't want to make it -common.--SUB-EDITOR. - -Peppermint is a great help with arithmetic. The boy who was second in -the Oxford Local always did it. He gave me two. The examiner said to -him, 'Are you eating peppermints?' And he said, 'No, Sir.' - -He told me afterwards it was quite true, because he was only sucking -one. I'm glad I wasn't asked. I should never have thought of that, and -I could have had to say 'Yes.'--OSWALD. - - ------------ - THE WRECK OF THE 'MALABAR' - - By Noel - -(Author of 'A Dream of Ancient Ancestors.') He isn't really--but -he put it in to make it seem more real. - - Hark! what is that noise of rolling - Waves and thunder in the air? - 'Tis the death-knell of the sailors - And officers and passengers of the good ship Malabar. - - It was a fair and lovely noon - When the good ship put out of port - And people said 'ah little we think - How soon she will be the elements' sport.' - - She was indeed a lovely sight - Upon the billows with sails spread. - But the captain folded his gloomy arms, - Ah--if she had been a life-boat instead! - - See the captain stern yet gloomy - Flings his son upon a rock, - Hoping that there his darling boy - May escape the wreck. - - Alas in vain the loud winds roared - And nobody was saved. - That was the wreck of the Malabar, - Then let us toll for the brave. - NOEL. - - ------------ - GARDENING NOTES - -It is useless to plant cherry-stones in the hope of eating the fruit, -because they don't! - -Alice won't lend her gardening tools again, because the last time Noel -left them out in the rain, and I don't like it. He said he didn't. - - ------------ - SEEDS AND BULBS - -These are useful to play at shop with, until you are ready. Not at -dinner-parties, for they will not grow unless uncooked. Potatoes are -not grown with seed, but with chopped-up potatoes. Apple trees are grown -from twigs, which is less wasteful. - -Oak trees come from acorns. Every one knows this. When Noel says he -could grow one from a peach stone wrapped up in oak leaves, he shows -that he knows nothing about gardening but marigolds, and when I passed -by his garden I thought they seemed just like weeds now the flowers have -been picked. - -A boy once dared me to eat a bulb. - -Dogs are very industrious and fond of gardening. Pincher is always -planting bones, but they never grow up. There couldn't be a bone tree. -I think this is what makes him bark so unhappily at night. He has never -tried planting dog-biscuit, but he is fonder of bones, and perhaps he -wants to be quite sure about them first. - - ------------ - SAM REDFERN, OR THE BUSHRANGER'S BURIAL - - By Dicky - - CHAPTER IV AND LAST - -This would have been a jolly good story if they had let me finish it at -the beginning of the paper as I wanted to. But now I have forgotten how -I meant it to end, and I have lost my book about Red Indians, and all my -Boys of England have been sneaked. The girls say 'Good riddance!' so I -expect they did it. They want me just to put in which Annie married, but -I shan't, so they will never know. - -We have now put everything we can think of into the paper. It takes a -lot of thinking about. I don't know how grown-ups manage to write all -they do. It must make their heads ache, especially lesson books. - -Albert-next-door only wrote one chapter of the serial story, but he -could have done some more if he had wanted to. He could not write out -any of the things because he cannot spell. He says he can, but it takes -him such a long time he might just as well not be able. There are one -or two things more. I am sick of it, but Dora says she will write them -in. - -LEGAL ANSWER WANTED. A quantity of excellent string is offered if you -know whether there really is a law passed about not buying gunpowder -under thirteen.--DICKY. - -The price of this paper is one shilling each, and sixpence extra for the -picture of the Malabar going down with all hands. If we sell one -hundred copies we will write another paper. - - * * * - -And so we would have done, but we never did. Albert-next-door's uncle -gave us two shillings, that was all. You can't restore fallen fortunes -with two shillings! - - - -CHAPTER 9 -THE G. B. - -Being editors is not the best way to wealth. We all feel this now, and -highwaymen are not respected any more like they used to be. - -I am sure we had tried our best to restore our fallen fortunes. We felt -their fall very much, because we knew the Bastables had been rich once. -Dora and Oswald can remember when Father was always bringing nice things -home from London, and there used to be turkeys and geese and wine and -cigars come by the carrier at Christmas-time, and boxes of candied fruit -and French plums in ornamental boxes with silk and velvet and gilding on -them. They were called prunes, but the prunes you buy at the grocer's -are quite different. But now there is seldom anything nice brought from -London, and the turkey and the prune people have forgotten Father's -address. - -'How _can_ we restore those beastly fallen fortunes?' said Oswald. 'We've -tried digging and writing and princesses and being editors.' - -'And being bandits,' said H. O. - -'When did you try that?' asked Dora quickly. 'You know I told you it -was wrong.' - -'It wasn't wrong the way we did it,' said Alice, quicker still, before -Oswald could say, 'Who asked you to tell us anything about it?' which -would have been rude, and he is glad he didn't. 'We only caught Albert- -next-door.' - -'Oh, Albert-next-door!' said Dora contemptuously, and I felt more -comfortable; for even after I didn't say, 'Who asked you, and cetera,' I -was afraid Dora was going to come the good elder sister over us. She -does that a jolly sight too often. - -Dicky looked up from the paper he was reading and said, 'This sounds -likely,' and he read out-- - - 'L100 secures partnership in lucrative business for sale of - useful patent. L10 weekly. No personal attendance necessary. - Jobbins, 300, Old Street Road.' - -'I wish we could secure that partnership,' said Oswald. He is twelve, -and a very thoughtful boy for his age. - -Alice looked up from her painting. She was trying to paint a fairy -queen's frock with green bice, and it wouldn't rub. There is something -funny about green bice. It never will rub off; no matter how expensive -your paintbox is--and even boiling water is very little use. - -She said, 'Bother the bice! And, Oswald, it's no use thinking about -that. Where are we to get a hundred pounds?' - -'Ten pounds a week is five pounds to us,' Oswald went on--he had done -the sum in his head while Alice was talking--'because partnership means -halves. It would be A1.' - -Noel sat sucking his pencil--he had been writing poetry as usual. I saw -the first two lines-- - - I wonder why Green Bice - Is never very nice. - -Suddenly he said, 'I wish a fairy would come down the chimney and drop a -jewel on the table--a jewel worth just a hundred pounds.' - -'She might as well give you the hundred pounds while she was about it,' -said Dora. - -'Or while she was about it she might as well give us five pounds a -week,' said Alice. - -'Or fifty,' said I. - -'Or five hundred,' said Dicky. - -I saw H. O. open his mouth, and I knew he was going to say, 'Or five -thousand,' so I said-- - -'Well, she won't give us fivepence, but if you'd only do as I am always -saying, and rescue a wealthy old gentleman from deadly peril he would -give us a pot of money, and we could have the partnership and five -pounds a week. Five pounds a week would buy a great many things.' - -Then Dicky said, 'Why shouldn't we borrow it?' So we said, 'Who from?' -and then he read this out of the paper-- - - MONEY PRIVATELY WITHOUT FEES - THE BOND STREET BANK - Manager, Z. Rosenbaum. - - Advances cash from L20 to L10,000 on ladies' or gentlemen's - note of hand alone, without security. No fees. No inquiries. - Absolute privacy guaranteed. - -'What does it all mean?' asked H. O. - -'It means that there is a kind gentleman who has a lot of money, and he -doesn't know enough poor people to help, so he puts it in the paper that -he will help them, by lending them his money--that's it, isn't it, -Dicky?' - -Dora explained this and Dicky said, 'Yes.' And H. O. said he was a -Generous Benefactor, like in Miss Edgeworth. Then Noel wanted to know -what a note of hand was, and Dicky knew that, because he had read it in -a book, and it was just a letter saying you will pay the money when you -can, and signed with your name. - -'No inquiries!' said Alice. 'Oh--Dicky--do you think he would?' - -'Yes, I think so,' said Dicky. 'I wonder Father doesn't go to this kind -gentleman. I've seen his name before on a circular in Father's study.' - -'Perhaps he has.' said Dora. - -But the rest of us were sure he hadn't, because, of course, if he had, -there would have been more money to buy nice things. Just then Pincher -jumped up and knocked over the painting-water. He is a very careless -dog. I wonder why painting-water is always such an ugly colour? Dora -ran for a duster to wipe it up, and H. O. dropped drops of the water on -his hands and said he had got the plague. So we played at the plague -for a bit, and I was an Arab physician with a bath-towel turban, and -cured the plague with magic acid-drops. After that it was time for -dinner, and after dinner we talked it all over and settled that we would -go and see the Generous Benefactor the very next day. But we thought -perhaps the G. B.--it is short for Generous Benefactor--would not like -it if there were so many of us. I have often noticed that it is the -worst of our being six--people think six a great many, when it's -children. That sentence looks wrong somehow. I mean they don't mind -six pairs of boots, or six pounds of apples, or six oranges, especially -in equations, but they seem to think you ought not to have five brothers -and sisters. Of course Dicky was to go, because it was his idea. Dora -had to go to Blackheath to see an old lady, a friend of Father's, so she -couldn't go. Alice said _she_ ought to go, because it said, 'Ladies _and_ -gentlemen,' and perhaps the G. B. wouldn't let us have the money unless -there were both kinds of us. - -H. O. said Alice wasn't a lady; and she said _he_ wasn't going, anyway. -Then he called her a disagreeable cat, and she began to cry. - -But Oswald always tries to make up quarrels, so he said-- - -'You're little sillies, both of you!' - -And Dora said, 'Don't cry, Alice; he only meant you weren't a grown-up -lady.' - -Then H. O. said, 'What else did you think I meant, Disagreeable?' - -So Dicky said, 'Don't be disagreeable yourself, H. O. Let her alone and -say you're sorry, or I'll jolly well make you!' - -So H. O. said he was sorry. Then Alice kissed him and said she was -sorry too; and after that H. O. gave her a hug, and said, 'Now I'm -_really and truly_ sorry,' So it was all right. - -Noel went the last time any of us went to London, so he was out of it, -and Dora said she would take him to Blackheath if we'd take H. O. So as -there'd been a little disagreeableness we thought it was better to take -him, and we did. At first we thought we'd tear our oldest things a bit -more, and put some patches of different colours on them, to show the G. -B. how much we wanted money. But Dora said that would be a sort of -cheating, pretending we were poorer than we are. And Dora is right -sometimes, though she is our elder sister. Then we thought we'd better -wear our best things, so that the G. B. might see we weren't so very -poor that he couldn't trust us to pay his money back when we had it. -But Dora said that would be wrong too. So it came to our being quite -honest, as Dora said, and going just as we were, without even washing -our faces and hands; but when I looked at H. O. in the train I wished we -had not been quite so particularly honest. - -Every one who reads this knows what it is like to go in the train, so I -shall not tell about it--though it was rather fun, especially the part -where the guard came for the tickets at Waterloo, and H. O. was under -the seat and pretended to be a dog without a ticket. We went to Charing -Cross, and we just went round to Whitehall to see the soldiers and then -by St James's for the same reason--and when we'd looked in the shops a -bit we got to Brook Street, Bond Street. It was a brass plate on a door -next to a shop--a very grand place, where they sold bonnets and hats-- -all very bright and smart, and no tickets on them to tell you the price. -We rang a bell and a boy opened the door and we asked for Mr Rosenbaum. -The boy was not polite; he did not ask us in. So then Dicky gave him -his visiting card; it was one of Father's really, but the name is the -same, Mr Richard Bastable, and we others wrote our names underneath. I -happened to have a piece of pink chalk in my pocket and we wrote them -with that. - -Then the boy shut the door in our faces and we waited on the step. But -presently he came down and asked our business. So Dicky said-- - -'Money advanced, young shaver! and don't be all day about it!' - -And then he made us wait again, till I was quite stiff in my legs, but -Alice liked it because of looking at the hats and bonnets, and at last -the door opened, and the boy said-- - -'Mr Rosenbaum will see you,' so we wiped our feet on the mat, which said -so, and we went up stairs with soft carpets and into a room. It was a -beautiful room. I wished then we had put on our best things, or at least -washed a little. But it was too late now. - -The room had velvet curtains and a soft, soft carpet, and it was full of -the most splendid things. Black and gold cabinets, and china, and -statues, and pictures. There was a picture of a cabbage and a pheasant -and a dead hare that was just like life, and I would have given worlds -to have it for my own. The fur was so natural I should never have been -tired of looking at it; but Alice liked the one of the girl with the -broken jug best. Then besides the pictures there were clocks and -candlesticks and vases, and gilt looking-glasses, and boxes of cigars -and scent and things littered all over the chairs and tables. It was a -wonderful place, and in the middle of all the splendour was a little old -gentleman with a very long black coat and a very long white beard and a -hookey nose--like a falcon. And he put on a pair of gold spectacles and -looked at us as if he knew exactly how much our clothes were worth. - -And then, while we elder ones were thinking how to begin, for we had all -said 'Good morning' as we came in, of course, H. O. began before we -could stop him. He said: - -'Are you the G. B.?' - -'The _what_?' said the little old gentleman. - -'The G. B.,' said H. O., and I winked at him to shut up, but he didn't -see me, and the G. B. did. He waved his hand at _me_ to shut up, so I had -to, and H. O. went on--'It stands for Generous Benefactor.' - -The old gentleman frowned. Then he said, 'Your Father sent you here, I -suppose?' - -'No he didn't,' said Dicky. 'Why did you think so?' - -The old gentleman held out the card, and I explained that we took that -because Father's name happens to be the same as Dicky's. - -'Doesn't he know you've come?' - -'No,' said Alice, 'we shan't tell him till we've got the partnership, -because his own business worries him a good deal and we don't want to -bother him with ours till it's settled, and then we shall give him half -our share.' - -The old gentleman took off his spectacles and rumpled his hair with his -hands, then he said, 'Then what _did_ you come for?' - -'We saw your advertisement,' Dicky said, 'and we want a hundred pounds -on our note of hand, and my sister came so that there should be both -kinds of us; and we want it to buy a partnership with in the lucrative -business for sale of useful patent. No personal attendance necessary.' - -'I don't think I quite follow you,' said the G. B. 'But one thing I -should like settled before entering more fully into the matter: why did -you call me Generous Benefactor?' - -'Well, you see,' said Alice, smiling at him to show she wasn't -frightened, though I know really she was, awfully, 'we thought it was so -_very_ kind of you to try to find out the poor people who want money and -to help them and lend them your money.' - -'Hum!' said the G. B. 'Sit down.' - -He cleared the clocks and vases and candlesticks off some of the chairs, -and we sat down. The chairs were velvety, with gilt legs. It was like -a king's palace. - -'Now,' he said, 'you ought to be at school, instead of thinking about -money. Why aren't you?' - -We told him that we should go to school again when Father could manage -it, but meantime we wanted to do something to restore the fallen -fortunes of the House of Bastable. And we said we thought the lucrative -patent would be a very good thing. He asked a lot of questions, and we -told him everything we didn't think Father would mind our telling, and -at last he said-- - -'You wish to borrow money. When will you repay it?' - -'As soon as we've got it, of course,' Dicky said. - -Then the G. B. said to Oswald, 'You seem the eldest,' but I explained to -him that it was Dicky's idea, so my being eldest didn't matter. Then he -said to Dicky--'You are a minor, I presume?' - -Dicky said he wasn't yet, but he had thought of being a mining engineer -some day, and going to Klondike. - -'Minor, not miner,' said the G. B. 'I mean you're not of age?' - -'I shall be in ten years, though,' said Dicky. 'Then you might repudiate -the loan,' said the G. B., and Dicky said 'What?' - -Of course he ought to have said 'I beg your pardon. I didn't quite -catch what you said'--that is what Oswald would have said. It is more -polite than 'What.' - -'Repudiate the loan,' the G. B repeated. 'I mean you might say you -would not pay me back the money, and the law could not compel you to do -so.' - -'Oh, well, if you think we're such sneaks,' said Dicky, and he got up -off his chair. But the G. B. said, 'Sit down, sit down; I was only -joking.' - -Then he talked some more, and at last he said--'I don't advise you to -enter into that partnership. It's a swindle. Many advertisements are. -And I have not a hundred pounds by me to-day to lend you. But I will -lend you a pound, and you can spend it as you like. And when you are -twenty-one you shall pay me back.' - -'I shall pay you back long before that,' said Dicky. 'Thanks, awfully! -And what about the note of hand?' - -'Oh,' said the G. B., 'I'll trust to your honour. Between gentlemen, -you know--and ladies'--he made a beautiful bow to Alice--'a word is as -good as a bond.' - -Then he took out a sovereign, and held it in his hand while he talked to -us. He gave us a lot of good advice about not going into business too -young, and about doing our lessons--just swatting a bit, on our own -hook, so as not to be put in a low form when we went back to school. -And all the time he was stroking the sovereign and looking at it as if -he thought it very beautiful. And so it was, for it was a new one. -Then at last he held it out to Dicky, and when Dicky put out his hand -for it the G. B. suddenly put the sovereign back in his pocket. - -'No,' he said, 'I won't give you the sovereign. I'll give you fifteen -shillings, and this nice bottle of scent. It's worth far more than the -five shillings I'm charging you for it. And, when you can, you shall -pay me back the pound, and sixty per cent interest--sixty per cent, -sixty per cent.' - -'What's that?' said H. O. - -The G. B. said he'd tell us that when we paid back the sovereign, but -sixty per cent was nothing to be afraid of. He gave Dicky the money. -And the boy was made to call a cab, and the G. B. put us in and shook -hands with us all, and asked Alice to give him a kiss, so she did, and -H. O. would do it too, though his face was dirtier than ever. The G. B. -paid the cabman and told him what station to go to, and so we went home. - -That evening Father had a letter by the seven-o'clock post. And when he -had read it he came up into the nursery. He did not look quite so -unhappy as usual, but he looked grave. - -'You've been to Mr Rosenbaum's,' he said. - -So we told him all about it. It took a long time, and Father sat in the -armchair. It was jolly. He doesn't often come and talk to us now. He -has to spend all his time thinking about his business. And when we'd -told him all about it he said-- - -'You haven't done any harm this time, children; rather good than harm, -indeed. Mr Rosenbaum has written me a very kind letter.' - -'Is he a friend of yours, Father?' Oswald asked. 'He is an -acquaintance,' said my father, frowning a little, 'we have done some -business together. And this letter--' he stopped and then said: 'No; -you didn't do any harm to-day; but I want you for the future not to do -anything so serious as to try to buy a partnership without consulting -me, that's all. I don't want to interfere with your plays and -pleasures; but you will consult me about business matters, won't you?' - -Of course we said we should be delighted, but then Alice, who was -sitting on his knee, said, 'We didn't like to bother you.' - -Father said, 'I haven't much time to be with you, for my business takes -most of my time. It is an anxious business--but I can't bear to think -of your being left all alone like this.' - -He looked so sad we all said we liked being alone. And then he looked -sadder than ever. - -Then Alice said, 'We don't mean that exactly, Father. It is rather -lonely sometimes, since Mother died.' - -Then we were all quiet a little while. Father stayed with us till we -went to bed, and when he said good night he looked quite cheerful. So -we told him so, and he said-- - -'Well, the fact is, that letter took a weight off my mind.' I can't -think what he meant--but I am sure the G. B. would be pleased if he -could know he had taken a weight off somebody's mind. He is that sort -of man, I think. - -We gave the scent to Dora. It is not quite such good scent as we -thought it would be, but we had fifteen shillings--and they were all -good, so is the G. B. - -And until those fifteen shillings were spent we felt almost as jolly as -though our fortunes had been properly restored. You do not notice your -general fortune so much, as long as you have money in your pocket. This -is why so many children with regular pocket-money have never felt it -their duty to seek for treasure. So, perhaps, our not having pocket- -money was a blessing in disguise. But the disguise was quite -impenetrable, like the villains' in the books; and it seemed still more -so when the fifteen shillings were all spent. Then at last the others -agreed to let Oswald try his way of seeking for treasure, but they were -not at all keen about it, and many a boy less firm than Oswald would -have chucked the whole thing. But Oswald knew that a hero must rely on -himself alone. So he stuck to it, and presently the others saw their -duty, and backed him up. - - - -CHAPTER 10 -LORD TOTTENHAM - -Oswald is a boy of firm and unswerving character, and he had never -wavered from his first idea. He felt quite certain that the books were -right, and that the best way to restore fallen fortunes was to rescue an -old gentleman in distress. Then he brings you up as his own son: but if -you preferred to go on being your own father's son I expect the old -gentleman would make it up to you some other way. In the books the -least thing does it--you put up the railway carriage window--or you pick -up his purse when he drops it--or you say a hymn when he suddenly asks -you to, and then your fortune is made. - -The others, as I said, were very slack about it, and did not seem to -care much about trying the rescue. They said there wasn't any deadly -peril, and we should have to make one before we could rescue the old -gentleman from it, but Oswald didn't see that that mattered. However, -he thought he would try some of the easier ways first, by himself. - -So he waited about the station, pulling up railway carriage windows for -old gentlemen who looked likely--but nothing happened, and at last the -porters said he was a nuisance. So that was no go. No one ever asked -him to say a hymn, though he had learned a nice short one, beginning -'New every morning'--and when an old gentleman did drop a two-shilling -piece just by Ellis's the hairdresser's, and Oswald picked it up, and -was just thinking what he should say when he returned it, the old -gentleman caught him by the collar and called him a young thief. It -would have been very unpleasant for Oswald if he hadn't happened to be a -very brave boy, and knew the policeman on that beat very well indeed. So -the policeman backed him up, and the old gentleman said he was sorry, -and offered Oswald sixpence. Oswald refused it with polite disdain, and -nothing more happened at all. - -When Oswald had tried by himself and it had not come off, he said to the -others, 'We're wasting our time, not trying to rescue the old gentleman -in deadly peril. Come--buck up! Do let's do something!' - -It was dinner-time, and Pincher was going round getting the bits off the -plates. There were plenty because it was cold-mutton day. And Alice -said-- - -'It's only fair to try Oswald's way--he has tried all the things the -others thought of. Why couldn't we rescue Lord Tottenham?' - -Lord Tottenham is the old gentleman who walks over the Heath every day -in a paper collar at three o'clock--and when he gets halfway, if there -is no one about, he changes his collar and throws the dirty one into the -furze-bushes. - -Dicky said, 'Lord Tottenham's all right--but where's the deadly peril?' - -And we couldn't think of any. There are no highwaymen on Blackheath -now, I am sorry to say. And though Oswald said half of us could be -highwaymen and the other half rescue party, Dora kept on saying it would -be wrong to be a highwayman--and so we had to give that up. - -Then Alice said, 'What about Pincher?' - -And we all saw at once that it could be done. - -Pincher is very well bred, and he does know one or two things, though we -never could teach him to beg. But if you tell him to hold on--he will -do it, even if you only say 'Seize him!' in a whisper. - -So we arranged it all. Dora said she wouldn't play; she said she -thought it was wrong, and she knew it was silly--so we left her out, and -she went and sat in the dining-room with a goody-book, so as to be able -to say she didn't have anything to do with it, if we got into a row over -it. - -Alice and H. O. were to hide in the furze-bushes just by where Lord -Tottenham changes his collar, and they were to whisper, 'Seize him!' to -Pincher; and then when Pincher had seized Lord Tottenham we were to go -and rescue him from his deadly peril. And he would say, 'How can I -reward you, my noble young preservers?' and it would be all right. - -So we went up to the Heath. We were afraid of being late. Oswald told -the others what Procrastination was--so they got to the furze-bushes a -little after two o'clock, and it was rather cold. Alice and H. O. and -Pincher hid, but Pincher did not like it any more than they did, and as -we three walked up and down we heard him whining. And Alice kept -saying, 'I _am_ so cold! Isn't he coming yet?' And H. O. wanted to come -out and jump about to warm himself. But we told him he must learn to be -a Spartan boy, and that he ought to be very thankful he hadn't got a -beastly fox eating his inside all the time. H. O. is our little -brother, and we are not going to let it be our fault if he grows up a -milksop. Besides, it was not really cold. It was his knees--he wears -socks. So they stayed where they were. And at last, when even the -other three who were walking about were beginning to feel rather chilly, -we saw Lord Tottenham's big black cloak coming along, flapping in the -wind like a great bird. So we said to Alice-- - -'Hist! he approaches. You'll know when to set Pincher on by hearing -Lord Tottenham talking to himself--he always does while he is taking off -his collar.' - -Then we three walked slowly away whistling to show we were not thinking -of anything. Our lips were rather cold, but we managed to do it. - -Lord Tottenham came striding along, talking to himself. People call him -the mad Protectionist. I don't know what it means--but I don't think -people ought to call a Lord such names. - -As he passed us he said, 'Ruin of the country, sir! Fatal error, fatal -error!' And then we looked back and saw he was getting quite near where -Pincher was, and Alice and H. O. We walked on--so that he shouldn't -think we were looking--and in a minute we heard Pincher's bark, and then -nothing for a bit; and then we looked round, and sure enough good old -Pincher had got Lord Tottenham by the trouser leg and was holding on -like billy-ho, so we started to run. - -Lord Tottenham had got his collar half off--it was sticking out sideways -under his ear--and he was shouting, 'Help, help, murder!' exactly as if -some one had explained to him beforehand what he was to do. Pincher was -growling and snarling and holding on. When we got to him I stopped and -said-- - -'Dicky, we must rescue this good old man.' - -Lord Tottenham roared in his fury, 'Good old man be--' something or -othered. 'Call the dog off.' - -So Oswald said, 'It is a dangerous task--but who would hesitate to do an -act of true bravery?' - -And all the while Pincher was worrying and snarling, and Lord Tottenham -shouting to us to get the dog away. He was dancing about in the road -with Pincher hanging on like grim death; and his collar flapping about, -where it was undone. - -Then Noel said, 'Haste, ere yet it be too late.' So I said to Lord -Tottenham-- - -'Stand still, aged sir, and I will endeavour to alleviate your -distress.' - -He stood still, and I stooped down and caught hold of Pincher and -whispered, 'Drop it, sir; drop it!' - -So then Pincher dropped it, and Lord Tottenham fastened his collar -again--he never does change it if there's any one looking--and he said-- - -'I'm much obliged, I'm sure. Nasty vicious brute! Here's something to -drink my health.' - -But Dicky explained that we are teetotallers, and do not drink people's -healths. So Lord Tottenham said, 'Well, I'm much obliged any way. And -now I come to look at you--of course, you're not young ruffians, but -gentlemen's sons, eh? Still, you won't be above taking a tip from an -old boy--I wasn't when I was your age,' and he pulled out half a -sovereign. - -It was very silly; but now we'd done it I felt it would be beastly mean -to take the old boy's chink after putting him in such a funk. He didn't -say anything about bringing us up as his own sons--so I didn't know what -to do. I let Pincher go, and was just going to say he was very welcome, -and we'd rather not have the money, which seemed the best way out of it, -when that beastly dog spoiled the whole show. Directly I let him go he -began to jump about at us and bark for joy, and try to lick our faces. -He was so proud of what he'd done. Lord Tottenham opened his eyes and he -just said, 'The dog seems to know you.' - -And then Oswald saw it was all up, and he said, 'Good morning,' and -tried to get away. But Lord Tottenham said-- - -'Not so fast!' And he caught Noel by the collar. Noel gave a howl, and -Alice ran out from the bushes. Noel is her favourite. I'm sure I don't -know why. Lord Tottenham looked at her, and he said-- - -'So there are more of you!' And then H. O. came out. - -'Do you complete the party?' Lord Tottenham asked him. And H. O. said -there were only five of us this time. - -Lord Tottenham turned sharp off and began to walk away, holding Noel by -the collar. We caught up with him, and asked him where he was going, -and he said, 'To the Police Station.' So then I said quite politely, -'Well, don't take Noel; he's not strong, and he easily gets upset. -Besides, it wasn't his doing. If you want to take any one take me--it -was my very own idea.' - -Dicky behaved very well. He said, 'If you take Oswald I'll go too, but -don't take Noel; he's such a delicate little chap.' - -Lord Tottenham stopped, and he said, 'You should have thought of that -before.' Noel was howling all the time, and his face was very white, and -Alice said-- - -'Oh, do let Noel go, dear, good, kind Lord Tottenham; he'll faint if you -don't, I know he will, he does sometimes. Oh, I wish we'd never done -it! Dora said it was wrong.' - -'Dora displayed considerable common sense,' said Lord Tottenham, and he -let Noel go. And Alice put her arm round Noel and tried to cheer him -up, but he was all trembly, and as white as paper. - -Then Lord Tottenham said-- - -'Will you give me your word of honour not to try to escape?' - -So we said we would. - -'Then follow me,' he said, and led the way to a bench. We all followed, -and Pincher too, with his tail between his legs--he knew something was -wrong. Then Lord Tottenham sat down, and he made Oswald and Dicky and -H. O. stand in front of him, but he let Alice and Noel sit down. And he -said-- - -'You set your dog on me, and you tried to make me believe you were -saving me from it. And you would have taken my half-sovereign. Such -conduct is most--No--you shall tell me what it is, sir, and speak the -truth.' - -So I had to say it was most ungentlemanly, but I said I hadn't been -going to take the half-sovereign. - -'Then what did you do it for?' he asked. 'The truth, mind.' - -So I said, 'I see now it was very silly, and Dora said it was wrong, but -it didn't seem so till we did it. We wanted to restore the fallen -fortunes of our house, and in the books if you rescue an old gentleman -from deadly peril, he brings you up as his own son--or if you prefer to -be your father's son, he starts you in business, so that you end in -wealthy affluence; and there wasn't any deadly peril, so we made Pincher -into one--and so--' I was so ashamed I couldn't go on, for it did seem -an awfully mean thing. Lord Tottenham said-- - -'A very nice way to make your fortune--by deceit and trickery. I have a -horror of dogs. If I'd been a weak man the shock might have killed me. -What do you think of yourselves, eh?' - -We were all crying except Oswald, and the others say he was; and Lord -Tottenham went on--'Well, well, I see you're sorry. Let this be a -lesson to you; and we'll say no more about it. I'm an old man now, but -I was young once.' - -Then Alice slid along the bench close to him, and put her hand on his -arm: her fingers were pink through the holes in her woolly gloves, and -said, 'I think you're very good to forgive us, and we are really very, -very sorry. But we wanted to be like the children in the books--only we -never have the chances they have. Everything they do turns out all -right. But we _are_ sorry, very, very. And I know Oswald wasn't going to -take the half-sovereign. Directly you said that about a tip from an old -boy I began to feel bad inside, and I whispered to H. O. that I wished -we hadn't.' - -Then Lord Tottenham stood up, and he looked like the Death of Nelson, -for he is clean shaved and it is a good face, and he said-- - -'Always remember never to do a dishonourable thing, for money or for -anything else in the world.' - -And we promised we would remember. Then he took off his hat, and we -took off ours, and he went away, and we went home. I never felt so -cheap in all my life! Dora said, 'I told you so,' but we didn't mind -even that so much, though it was indeed hard to bear. It was what Lord -Tottenham had said about ungentlemanly. We didn't go on to the Heath for -a week after that; but at last we all went, and we waited for him by the -bench. When he came along Alice said, 'Please, Lord Tottenham, we have -not been on the Heath for a week, to be a punishment because you let us -off. And we have brought you a present each if you will take them to -show you are willing to make it up.' - -He sat down on the bench, and we gave him our presents. Oswald gave him -a sixpenny compass--he bought it with my own money on purpose to give -him. Oswald always buys useful presents. The needle would not move -after I'd had it a day or two, but Lord Tottenham used to be an admiral, -so he will be able to make that go all right. Alice had made him a -shaving-case, with a rose worked on it. And H. O. gave him his knife-- -the same one he once cut all the buttons off his best suit with. Dicky -gave him his prize, Naval Heroes, because it was the best thing he had, -and Noel gave him a piece of poetry he had made himself-- - - When sin and shame bow down the brow - Then people feel just like we do now. - We are so sorry with grief and pain - We never will be so ungentlemanly again. - -Lord Tottenham seemed very pleased. He thanked us, and talked to us for -a bit, and when he said good-bye he said-- - -'All's fair weather now, mates,' and shook hands. - -And whenever we meet him he nods to us, and if the girls are with us he -takes off his hat, so he can't really be going on thinking us -ungentlemanly now. - - - -CHAPTER 11 -CASTILIAN AMOROSO - -One day when we suddenly found that we had half a crown we decided that -we really ought to try Dicky's way of restoring our fallen fortunes -while yet the deed was in our power. Because it might easily have -happened to us never to have half a crown again. So we decided to dally -no longer with being journalists and bandits and things like them, but -to send for sample and instructions how to earn two pounds a week each -in our spare time. We had seen the advertisement in the paper, and we -had always wanted to do it, but we had never had the money to spare -before, somehow. The advertisement says: 'Any lady or gentleman can -easily earn two pounds a week in their spare time. Sample and -instructions, two shillings. Packed free from observation.' A good deal -of the half-crown was Dora's. It came from her godmother; but she said -she would not mind letting Dicky have it if he would pay her back before -Christmas, and if we were sure it was right to try to make our fortune -that way. Of course that was quite easy, because out of two pounds a -week in your spare time you can easily pay all your debts, and have -almost as much left as you began with; and as to the right we told her -to dry up. - -Dicky had always thought that this was really the best way to restore -our fallen fortunes, and we were glad that now he had a chance of trying -because of course we wanted the two pounds a week each, and besides, we -were rather tired of Dicky's always saying, when our ways didn't turn -out well, 'Why don't you try the sample and instructions about our spare -time?' - -When we found out about our half-crown we got the paper. Noel was -playing admirals in it, but he had made the cocked hat without tearing -the paper, and we found the advertisement, and it said just the same as -ever. So we got a two-shilling postal order and a stamp, and what was -left of the money it was agreed we would spend in ginger-beer to drink -success to trade. - -We got some nice paper out of Father's study, and Dicky wrote the -letter, and we put in the money and put on the stamp, and made H. O. -post it. Then we drank the ginger-beer, and then we waited for the -sample and instructions. It seemed a long time coming, and the postman -got quite tired of us running out and stopping him in the street to ask -if it had come. - -But on the third morning it came. It was quite a large parcel, and it -was packed, as the advertisement said it would be, 'free from -observation.' That means it was in a box; and inside the box was some -stiff browny cardboard, crinkled like the galvanized iron on the tops of -chicken-houses, and inside that was a lot of paper, some of it printed -and some scrappy, and in the very middle of it all a bottle, not very -large, and black, and sealed on the top of the cork with yellow sealing- -wax. - -We looked at it as it lay on the nursery table, and while all the others -grabbed at the papers to see what the printing said, Oswald went to look -for the corkscrew, so as to see what was inside the bottle. He found -the corkscrew in the dresser drawer--it always gets there, though it is -supposed to be in the sideboard drawer in the dining-room--and when he -got back the others had read most of the printed papers. - -'I don't think it's much good, and I don't think it's quite nice to sell -wine,' Dora said 'and besides, it's not easy to suddenly begin to sell -things when you aren't used to it.' - -'I don't know,' said Alice; 'I believe I could.' They all looked rather -down in the mouth, though, and Oswald asked how you were to make your -two pounds a week. - -'Why, you've got to get people to taste that stuff in the bottle. It's -sherry--Castilian Amoroso its name is--and then you get them to buy it, -and then you write to the people and tell them the other people want the -wine, and then for every dozen you sell you get two shillings from the -wine people, so if you sell twenty dozen a week you get your two pounds. -I don't think we shall sell as much as that,' said Dicky. - -'We might not the first week,' Alice said, 'but when people found out -how nice it was, they would want more and more. And if we only got ten -shillings a week it would be something to begin with, wouldn't it?' - -Oswald said he should jolly well think it would, and then Dicky took the -cork out with the corkscrew. The cork broke a good deal, and some of -the bits went into the bottle. Dora got the medicine glass that has the -teaspoons and tablespoons marked on it, and we agreed to have a -teaspoonful each, to see what it was like. - -'No one must have more than that,' Dora said, 'however nice it is.' - -Dora behaved rather as if it were her bottle. I suppose it was, because -she had lent the money for it. - -Then she measured out the teaspoonful, and she had first go, because of -being the eldest. We asked at once what it was like, but Dora could not -speak just then. - -Then she said, 'It's like the tonic Noel had in the spring; but perhaps -sherry ought to be like that.' - -Then it was Oswald's turn. He thought it was very burny; but he said -nothing. He wanted to see first what the others would say. - -Dicky said his was simply beastly, and Alice said Noel could taste next -if he liked. - -Noel said it was the golden wine of the gods, but he had to put his -handkerchief up to his mouth all the same, and I saw the face he made. - -Then H. O. had his, and he spat it out in the fire, which was very rude -and nasty, and we told him so. - -Then it was Alice's turn. She said, 'Only half a teaspoonful for me, -Dora. We mustn't use it all up.' And she tasted it and said nothing. - -Then Dicky said: 'Look here, I chuck this. I'm not going to hawk round -such beastly stuff. Any one who likes can have the bottle. Quis?' - -And Alice got out 'Ego' before the rest of us. Then she said, 'I know -what's the matter with it. It wants sugar.' - -And at once we all saw that that was all there was the matter with the -stuff. So we got two lumps of sugar and crushed it on the floor with one -of the big wooden bricks till it was powdery, and mixed it with some of -the wine up to the tablespoon mark, and it was quite different, and not -nearly so nasty. - -'You see it's all right when you get used to it,' Dicky said. I think -he was sorry he had said 'Quis?' in such a hurry. - -'Of course,' Alice said, 'it's rather dusty. We must crush the sugar -carefully in clean paper before we put it in the bottle.' - -Dora said she was afraid it would be cheating to make one bottle nicer -than what people would get when they ordered a dozen bottles, but Alice -said Dora always made a fuss about everything, and really it would be -quite honest. - -'You see,' she said, 'I shall just tell them, quite truthfully, what we -have done to it, and when their dozens come they can do it for -themselves.' - -So then we crushed eight more lumps, very cleanly and carefully between -newspapers, and shook it up well in the bottle, and corked it up with a -screw of paper, brown and not news, for fear of the poisonous printing -ink getting wet and dripping down into the wine and killing people. We -made Pincher have a taste, and he sneezed for ever so long, and after -that he used to go under the sofa whenever we showed him the bottle. - -Then we asked Alice who she would try and sell it to. She said: 'I -shall ask everybody who comes to the house. And while we are doing -that, we can be thinking of outside people to take it to. We must be -careful: there's not much more than half of it left, even counting the -sugar.' - -We did not wish to tell Eliza--I don't know why. And she opened the -door very quickly that day, so that the Taxes and a man who came to our -house by mistake for next door got away before Alice had a chance to try -them with the Castilian Amoroso. But about five Eliza slipped out for -half an hour to see a friend who was making her a hat for Sunday, and -while she was gone there was a knock. Alice went, and we looked over the -banisters. When she opened the door, she said at once, 'Will you walk -in, please?' The person at the door said, 'I called to see your Pa, -miss. Is he at home?' - -Alice said again, 'Will you walk in, please?' - -Then the person--it sounded like a man--said, 'He is in, then?' - -But Alice only kept on saying, 'Will you walk in, please?' so at last -the man did, rubbing his boots very loudly on the mat. - -Then Alice shut the front door, and we saw that it was the butcher, with -an envelope in his hand. He was not dressed in blue, like when he is -cutting up the sheep and things in the shop, and he wore knickerbockers. -Alice says he came on a bicycle. She led the way into the dining-room, -where the Castilian Amoroso bottle and the medicine glass were standing -on the table all ready. - -The others stayed on the stairs, but Oswald crept down and looked -through the door-crack. - -'Please sit down,' said Alice quite calmly, though she told me -afterwards I had no idea how silly she felt. And the butcher sat down. -Then Alice stood quite still and said nothing, but she fiddled with the -medicine glass and put the screw of brown paper straight in the -Castilian bottle. - -'Will you tell your Pa I'd like a word with him?' the butcher said, when -he got tired of saying nothing. - -'He'll be in very soon, I think,' Alice said. - -And then she stood still again and said nothing. It was beginning to -look very idiotic of her, and H. O. laughed. I went back and cuffed him -for it quite quietly, and I don't think the butcher heard. - -But Alice did, and it roused her from her stupor. She spoke suddenly, -very fast indeed--so fast that I knew she had made up what she was going -to say before. She had got most of it out of the circular. - -She said, 'I want to call your attention to a sample of sherry wine I -have here. It is called Castilian something or other, and at the price -it is unequalled for flavour and bouquet.' - -The butcher said, 'Well--I never!' - -And Alice went on, 'Would you like to taste it?' - -'Thank you very much, I'm sure, miss,' said the butcher. - -Alice poured some out. - -The butcher tasted a very little. He licked his lips, and we thought he -was going to say how good it was. But he did not. He put down the -medicine glass with nearly all the stuff left in it (we put it back in -the bottle afterwards to save waste) and said, 'Excuse me, miss, but -isn't it a little sweet?--for sherry I mean?' - -'The _Real_ isn't,' said Alice. 'If you order a dozen it will come quite -different to that--we like it best with sugar. I wish you _would_ order -some.' The butcher asked why. - -Alice did not speak for a minute, and then she said-- - -'I don't mind telling _you_: you are in business yourself, aren't you? -We are trying to get people to buy it, because we shall have two -shillings for every dozen we can make any one buy. It's called a purr -something.' - -'A percentage. Yes, I see,' said the butcher, looking at the hole in -the carpet. - -'You see there are reasons,' Alice went on, 'why we want to make our -fortunes as quickly as we can.' - -'Quite so,' said the butcher, and he looked at the place where the paper -is coming off the wall. - -'And this seems a good way,' Alice went on. 'We paid two shillings for -the sample and instructions, and it says you can make two pounds a week -easily in your leisure time.' - -'I'm sure I hope you may, miss,' said the butcher. And Alice said again -would he buy some? - -'Sherry is my favourite wine,' he said. Alice asked him to have some -more to drink. - -'No, thank you, miss,' he said; 'it's my favourite wine, but it doesn't -agree with me; not the least bit. But I've an uncle drinks it. Suppose -I ordered him half a dozen for a Christmas present? Well, miss, here's -the shilling commission, anyway,' and he pulled out a handful of money -and gave her the shilling. - -'But I thought the wine people paid that,' Alice said. - -But the butcher said not on half-dozens they didn't. Then he said he -didn't think he'd wait any longer for Father--but would Alice ask Father -to write him? - -Alice offered him the sherry again, but he said something about 'Not -for worlds!'--and then she let him out and came back to us with the -shilling, and said, 'How's that?' - -And we said 'A1.' - -And all the evening we talked of our fortune that we had begun to make. - -Nobody came next day, but the day after a lady came to ask for money to -build an orphanage for the children of dead sailors. And we saw her. I -went in with Alice. And when we had explained to her that we had only a -shilling and we wanted it for something else, Alice suddenly said, -'Would you like some wine?' - -And the lady said, 'Thank you very much,' but she looked surprised. - -She was not a young lady, and she had a mantle with beads, and the beads -had come off in places--leaving a browny braid showing, and she had -printed papers about the dead sailors in a sealskin bag, and the seal -had come off in places, leaving the skin bare. We gave her a -tablespoonful of the wine in a proper wine-glass out of the sideboard, -because she was a lady. And when she had tasted it she got up in a very -great hurry, and shook out her dress and snapped her bag shut, and said, -'You naughty, wicked children! What do you mean by playing a trick like -this? You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! I shall write to your -Mamma about it. You dreadful little girl!--you might have poisoned me. -But your Mamma. . .' - -Then Alice said, 'I'm very sorry; the butcher liked it, only he said it -was sweet. And please don't write to Mother. It makes Father so -unhappy when letters come for her!'--and Alice was very near crying. - -'What do you mean, you silly child?' said the lady, looking quite bright -and interested. 'Why doesn't your Father like your Mother to have -letters--eh?' - -And Alice said, 'OH, you . . . !' and began to cry, and bolted out of -the room. - -Then I said, 'Our Mother is dead, and will you please go away now?' - -The lady looked at me a minute, and then she looked quite different, and -she said, 'I'm very sorry. I didn't know. Never mind about the wine. -I daresay your little sister meant it kindly.' And she looked round the -room just like the butcher had done. Then she said again, 'I didn't -know--I'm very sorry . . .' - -So I said, 'Don't mention it,' and shook hands with her, and let her -out. Of course we couldn't have asked her to buy the wine after what -she'd said. But I think she was not a bad sort of person. I do like a -person to say they're sorry when they ought to be--especially a grown-up. -They do it so seldom. I suppose that's why we think so much of it. - -But Alice and I didn't feel jolly for ever so long afterwards. And when -I went back into the dining-room I saw how different it was from when -Mother was here, and we are different, and Father is different, and -nothing is like it was. I am glad I am not made to think about it every -day. - -I went and found Alice, and told her what the lady had said, and when -she had finished crying we put away the bottle and said we would not try -to sell any more to people who came. And we did not tell the others--we -only said the lady did not buy any--but we went up on the Heath, and -some soldiers went by and there was a Punch-and-judy show, and when we -came back we were better. - -The bottle got quite dusty where we had put it, and perhaps the dust of -ages would have laid thick and heavy on it, only a clergyman called when -we were all out. He was not our own clergyman--Mr Bristow is our own -clergyman, and we all love him, and we would not try to sell sherry to -people we like, and make two pounds a week out of them in our spare -time. It was another clergyman, just a stray one; and he asked Eliza if -the dear children would not like to come to his little Sunday school. -We always spend Sunday afternoons with Father. But as he had left the -name of his vicarage with Eliza, and asked her to tell us to come, we -thought we would go and call on him, just to explain about Sunday -afternoons, and we thought we might as well take the sherry with us. - -'I won't go unless you all go too,' Alice said, 'and I won't do the -talking.' - -Dora said she thought we had much better not go; but we said 'Rot!' and -it ended in her coming with us, and I am glad she did. - -Oswald said he would do the talking if the others liked, and he learned -up what to say from the printed papers. - -We went to the Vicarage early on Saturday afternoon, and rang at the -bell. It is a new red house with no trees in the garden, only very -yellow mould and gravel. It was all very neat and dry. Just before we -rang the bell we heard some one inside call 'Jane! Jane!' and we thought -we would not be Jane for anything. It was the sound of the voice that -called that made us sorry for her. - -The door was opened by a very neat servant in black, with a white apron; -we saw her tying the strings as she came along the hall, through the -different-coloured glass in the door. Her face was red, and I think she -was Jane. - -We asked if we could see Mr Mallow. - -The servant said Mr Mallow was very busy with his sermon just then, but -she would see. - -But Oswald said, 'It's all right. He asked us to come.' - -So she let us all in and shut the front door, and showed us into a very -tidy room with a bookcase full of a lot of books covered in black cotton -with white labels, and some dull pictures, and a harmonium. And Mr -Mallow was writing at a desk with drawers, copying something out of a -book. He was stout and short, and wore spectacles. - -He covered his writing up when we went in--I didn't know why. He looked -rather cross, and we heard Jane or somebody being scolded outside by the -voice. I hope it wasn't for letting us in, but I have had doubts. - -'Well,' said the clergyman, 'what is all this about?' - -'You asked us to call,' Dora said, 'about your little Sunday school. We -are the Bastables of Lewisham Road.' - -'Oh--ah, yes,' he said; 'and shall I expect you all to-morrow?' - -He took up his pen and fiddled with it, and he did not ask us to sit -down. But some of us did. - -'We always spend Sunday afternoon with Father,' said Dora; 'but we -wished to thank you for being so kind as to ask us.' - -'And we wished to ask you something else!' said Oswald; and he made a -sign to Alice to get the sherry ready in the glass. She did--behind -Oswald's back while he was speaking. - -'My time is limited,' said Mr Mallow, looking at his watch; 'but -still--' Then he muttered something about the fold, and went on: 'Tell -me what is troubling you, my little man, and I will try to give you any -help in my power. What is it you want?' - -Then Oswald quickly took the glass from Alice, and held it out to him, -and said, 'I want your opinion on that.' - -'On _that_,' he said. 'What is it?' - -'It is a shipment,' Oswald said; 'but it's quite enough for you to -taste.' Alice had filled the glass half-full; I suppose she was too -excited to measure properly. - -'A shipment?' said the clergyman, taking the glass in his hand. - -'Yes,' Oswald went On; 'an exceptional opportunity. Full-bodied and -nutty.' - -'It really does taste rather like one kind of Brazil-nut.' Alice put -her oar in as usual. - -The Vicar looked from Alice to Oswald, and back again, and Oswald went -on with what he had learned from the printing. The clergyman held the -glass at half-arm's-length, stiffly, as if he had caught cold. - -'It is of a quality never before offered at the price. Old Delicate -Amoro--what's its name--' - -'Amorolio,' said H. O. - -'Amoroso,' said Oswald. 'H. O., you just shut up--Castilian Amoroso-- -it's a true after-dinner wine, stimulating and yet. . .' - -'_Wine_?' said Mr Mallow, holding the glass further off. 'Do you _know_,' -he went on, making his voice very thick and strong (I expect he does it -like that in church), 'have you never been _taught_ that it is the -drinking of _wine_ and _spirits_--yes, and _beer_, which makes half the homes -in England full of _wretched_ little children, and _degraded_, _miserable_ -parents?' - -'Not if you put sugar in it,' said Alice firmly; 'eight lumps and shake -the bottle. We have each had more than a teaspoonful of it, and we were -not ill at all. It was something else that upset H. O. Most likely all -those acorns he got out of the Park.' - -The clergyman seemed to be speechless with conflicting emotions, and -just then the door opened and a lady came in. She had a white cap with -lace, and an ugly violet flower in it, and she was tall, and looked very -strong, though thin. And I do believe she had been listening at the -door. - -'But why,' the Vicar was saying, 'why did you bring this dreadful fluid, -this curse of our country, to _me_ to taste?' - -'Because we thought you might buy some,' said Dora, who never sees when -a game is up. 'In books the parson loves his bottle of old port; and -new sherry is just as good--with sugar--for people who like sherry. And -if you would order a dozen of the wine, then we should get two -shillings.' - -The lady said (and it _was_ the voice), 'Good gracious! Nasty, sordid -little things! Haven't they any one to teach them better?' - -And Dora got up and said, 'No, we are not those things you say; but we -are sorry we came here to be called names. We want to make our fortune -just as much as Mr Mallow does--only no one would listen to us if we -preached, so it's no use our copying out sermons like him.' - -And I think that was smart of Dora, even if it was rather rude. - -Then I said perhaps we had better go, and the lady said, 'I should think -so!' - -But when we were going to wrap up the bottle and glass the clergyman -said, 'No; you can leave that,' and we were so upset we did, though it -wasn't his after all. - -We walked home very fast and not saying much, and the girls went up to -their rooms. When I went to tell them tea was ready, and there was a -teacake, Dora was crying like anything and Alice hugging her. I am -afraid there is a great deal of crying in this chapter, but I can't help -it. Girls will sometimes; I suppose it is their nature, and we ought to -be sorry for their affliction. - -'It's no good,' Dora was saying, 'you all hate me, and you think I'm a -prig and a busybody, but I do try to do right--oh, I do! Oswald, go -away; don't come here making fun of me!' - -So I said, 'I'm not making fun, Sissy; don't cry, old girl.' - -Mother taught me to call her Sissy when we were very little and before -the others came, but I don't often somehow, now we are old. I patted -her on the back, and she put her head against my sleeve, holding on to -Alice all the time, and she went on. She was in that laughy-cryey state -when people say things they wouldn't say at other times. - -'Oh dear, oh dear--I do try, I do. And when Mother died she said, -"Dora, take care of the others, and teach them to be good, and keep them -out of trouble and make them happy." She said, "Take care of them for -me, Dora dear." And I have tried, and all of you hate me for it; and to- -day I let you do this, though I knew all the time it was silly.' - -I hope you will not think I was a muff but I kissed Dora for some time. -Because girls like it. And I will never say again that she comes the -good elder sister too much. And I have put all this in though I do hate -telling about it, because I own I have been hard on Dora, but I never -will be again. She is a good old sort; of course we never knew before -about what Mother told her, or we wouldn't have ragged her as we did. -We did not tell the little ones, but I got Alice to speak to Dicky, and -we three can sit on the others if requisite. - -This made us forget all about the sherry; but about eight o'clock there -was a knock, and Eliza went, and we saw it was poor Jane, if her name -was Jane, from the Vicarage. She handed in a brown-paper parcel and a -letter. And three minutes later Father called us into his study. - -On the table was the brown-paper parcel, open, with our bottle and glass -on it, and Father had a letter in his hand. He Pointed to the bottle -and sighed, and said, 'What have you been doing now?' The letter in his -hand was covered with little black writing, all over the four large -pages. - -So Dicky spoke up, and he told Father the whole thing, as far as he knew -it, for Alice and I had not told about the dead sailors' lady. - -And when he had done, Alice said, 'Has Mr Mallow written to you to say -he will buy a dozen of the sherry after all? It is really not half bad -with sugar in it.' - -Father said no, he didn't think clergymen could afford such expensive -wine; and he said _he_ would like to taste it. So we gave him what there -was left, for we had decided coming home that we would give up trying -for the two pounds a week in our spare time. - -Father tasted it, and then he acted just as H. O. had done when he had -his teaspoonful, but of course we did not say anything. Then he laughed -till I thought he would never stop. - -I think it was the sherry, because I am sure I have read somewhere about -'wine that maketh glad the heart of man'. He had only a very little, -which shows that it was a good after-dinner wine, stimulating, and yet -. . .I forget the rest. - -But when he had done laughing he said, 'It's all right, kids. Only don't -do it again. The wine trade is overcrowded; and besides, I thought you -promised to consult me before going into business?' - -'Before buying one I thought you meant,' said Dicky. 'This was only on -commission.' And Father laughed again. I am glad we got the Castilian -Amoroso, because it did really cheer Father up, and you cannot always do -that, however hard you try, even if you make jokes, or give him a comic -paper. - - - -CHAPTER 12 -THE NOBLENESS OF OSWALD - -The part about his nobleness only comes at the end, but you would not -understand it unless you knew how it began. It began, like nearly -everything about that time, with treasure-seeking. - -Of course as soon as we had promised to consult my Father about business -matters we all gave up wanting to go into business. I don't know how it -is, but having to consult about a thing with grown-up people, even the -bravest and the best, seems to make the thing not worth doing -afterwards. - -We don't mind Albert's uncle chipping in sometimes when the thing's -going on, but we are glad he never asked us to promise to consult him -about anything. Yet Oswald saw that my Father was quite right; and I -daresay if we had had that hundred pounds we should have spent it on the -share in that lucrative business for the sale of useful patent, and then -found out afterwards that we should have done better to spend the money -in some other way. My Father says so, and he ought to know. We had -several ideas about that time, but having so little chink always stood -in the way. - -This was the case with H. O.'s idea of setting up a coconut-shy on this -side of the Heath, where there are none generally. We had no sticks or -wooden balls, and the greengrocer said he could not book so many as -twelve dozen coconuts without Mr Bastable's written order. And as we -did not wish to consult my Father it was decided to drop it. And when -Alice dressed up Pincher in some of the dolls' clothes and we made up -our minds to take him round with an organ as soon as we had taught him -to dance, we were stopped at once by Dicky's remembering how he had once -heard that an organ cost seven hundred pounds. Of course this was the -big church kind, but even the ones on three legs can't be got for one- -and-sevenpence, which was all we had when we first thought of it. So we -gave that up too. - -It was a wet day, I remember, and mutton hash for dinner--very tough -with pale gravy with lumps in it. I think the others would have left a -good deal on the sides of their plates, although they know better, only -Oswald said it was a savoury stew made of the red deer that Edward shot. -So then we were the Children of the New Forest, and the mutton tasted -much better. No one in the New Forest minds venison being tough and the -gravy pale. - -Then after dinner we let the girls have a dolls' tea-party, on condition -they didn't expect us boys to wash up; and it was when we were drinking -the last of the liquorice water out of the little cups that Dicky said-- - -'This reminds me.' - -So we said, 'What of?' - -Dicky answered us at once, though his mouth was full of bread with -liquorice stuck in it to look like cake. You should not speak with your -mouth full, even to your own relations, and you shouldn't wipe your -mouth on the back of your hand, but on your handkerchief, if you have -one. Dicky did not do this. He said-- - -'Why, you remember when we first began about treasure-seeking, I said I -had thought of something, only I could not tell you because I hadn't -finished thinking about it.' - -We said 'Yes.' - -'Well, this liquorice water--' - -'Tea,' said Alice softly. - -'Well, tea then--made me think.' He was going on to say what it made -him think, but Noel interrupted and cried out, 'I say; let's finish off -this old tea-party and have a council of war.' - -So we got out the flags and the wooden sword and the drum, and Oswald -beat it while the girls washed up, till Eliza came up to say she had the -jumping toothache, and the noise went through her like a knife. So of -course Oswald left off at once. When you are polite to Oswald he never -refuses to grant your requests. - -When we were all dressed up we sat down round the camp fire, and Dicky -began again. - -'Every one in the world wants money. Some people get it. The people -who get it are the ones who see things. I have seen one thing.' - -Dicky stopped and smoked the pipe of peace. It is the pipe we did -bubbles with in the summer, and somehow it has not got broken yet. We -put tea-leaves in it for the pipe of peace, but the girls are not -allowed to have any. It is not right to let girls smoke. They get to -think too much of themselves if you let them do everything the same as -men. Oswald said, 'Out with it.' - -'I see that glass bottles only cost a penny. H. O., if you dare to -snigger I'll send you round selling old bottles, and you shan't have any -sweets except out of the money you get for them. And the same with you, -Noel.' - -'Noel wasn't sniggering,' said Alice in a hurry; 'it is only his taking -so much interest in what you were saying makes him look like that. Be -quiet, H. O., and don't you make faces, either. Do go on, Dicky dear.' - -So Dicky went on. - -'There must be hundreds of millions of bottles of medicines sold every -year. Because all the different medicines say, "Thousands of cures -daily," and if you only take that as two thousand, which it must be, at -least, it mounts up. And the people who sell them must make a great -deal of money by them because they are nearly always two-and-ninepence -the bottle, and three-and-six for one nearly double the size. Now the -bottles, as I was saying, don't cost anything like that.' - -'It's the medicine costs the money,' said Dora; 'look how expensive -jujubes are at the chemist's, and peppermints too.' - -'That's only because they're nice,' Dicky explained; 'nasty things are -not so dear. Look what a lot of brimstone you get for a penny, and the -same with alum. We would not put the nice kinds of chemist's things in -our medicine.' - -Then he went on to tell us that when we had invented our medicine we -would write and tell the editor about it, and he would put it in the -paper, and then people would send their two-and-ninepence and three-and- -six for the bottle nearly double the size, and then when the medicine -had cured them they would write to the paper and their letters would be -printed, saying how they had been suffering for years, and never thought -to get about again, but thanks to the blessing of our ointment--' - -Dora interrupted and said, 'Not ointment--it's so messy.' And Alice -thought so too. And Dicky said he did not mean it, he was quite decided -to let it be in bottles. So now it was all settled, and we did not see -at the time that this would be a sort of going into business, but -afterwards when Albert's uncle showed us we saw it, and we were sorry. -We only had to invent the medicine. You might think that was easy, -because of the number of them you see every day in the paper, but it is -much harder than you think. First we had to decide what sort of illness -we should like to cure, and a 'heated discussion ensued', like in -Parliament. - -Dora wanted it to be something to make the complexion of dazzling -fairness, but we remembered how her face came all red and rough when she -used the Rosabella soap that was advertised to make the darkest -complexion fair as the lily, and she agreed that perhaps it was better -not. Noel wanted to make the medicine first and then find out what it -would cure, but Dicky thought not, because there are so many more -medicines than there are things the matter with us, so it would be -easier to choose the disease first. Oswald would have liked wounds. I -still think it was a good idea, but Dicky said, 'Who has wounds, -especially now there aren't any wars? We shouldn't sell a bottle a -day!' So Oswald gave in because he knows what manners are, and it was -Dicky's idea. H. O. wanted a cure for the uncomfortable feeling that -they give you powders for, but we explained to him that grown-up people -do not have this feeling, however much they eat, and he agreed. Dicky -said he did not care a straw what the loathsome disease was, as long as -we hurried up and settled on something. Then Alice said-- - -'It ought to be something very common, and only one thing. Not the -pains in the back and all the hundreds of things the people have in -somebody's syrup. What's the commonest thing of all?' - -And at once we said, 'Colds.' - -So that was settled. - -Then we wrote a label to go on the bottle. When it was written it would -not go on the vinegar bottle that we had got, but we knew it would go -small when it was printed. It was like this: - - BASTABLE'S - CERTAIN CURE FOR COLDS -Coughs, Asthma, Shortness of Breath, and all infections of the -Chest - - One dose gives immediate relief - It will cure your cold in one bottle - Especially the larger size at 3s. 6d. - Order at once of the Makers - To prevent disappointment - - Makers: - - D., O., R., A., N., and H. O. BASTABLE - 150, Lewisham Road, S.E. - - (A halfpenny for all bottles returned) - - ------------ - -Of course the next thing was for one of us to catch a cold and try what -cured it; we all wanted to be the one, but it was Dicky's idea, and he -said he was not going to be done out of it, so we let him. It was only -fair. He left off his undershirt that very day, and next morning he -stood in a draught in his nightgown for quite a long time. And we -damped his day-shirt with the nail-brush before he put it on. But all -was vain. They always tell you that these things will give you cold, -but we found it was not so. - -So then we all went over to the Park, and Dicky went right into the -water with his boots on, and stood there as long as he could bear it, -for it was rather cold, and we stood and cheered him on. He walked home -in his wet clothes, which they say is a sure thing, but it was no go, -though his boots were quite spoiled. And three days after Noel began to -cough and sneeze. - -So then Dicky said it was not fair. - -'I can't help it,' Noel said. 'You should have caught it yourself, then -it wouldn't have come to me.' - -And Alice said she had known all along Noel oughtn't to have stood about -on the bank cheering in the cold. - -Noel had to go to bed, and then we began to make the medicines; we were -sorry he was out of it, but he had the fun of taking the things. - -We made a great many medicines. Alice made herb tea. She got sage and -thyme and savory and marjoram and boiled them all up together with salt -and water, but she _would_ put parsley in too. Oswald is sure parsley is -not a herb. It is only put on the cold meat and you are not supposed to -eat it. It kills parrots to eat parsley, I believe. I expect it was -the parsley that disagreed so with Noel. The medicine did not seem to -do the cough any good. - -Oswald got a pennyworth of alum, because it is so cheap, and some -turpentine which every one knows is good for colds, and a little sugar -and an aniseed ball. These were mixed in a bottle with water, but Eliza -threw it away and said it was nasty rubbish, and I hadn't any money to -get more things with. - -Dora made him some gruel, and he said it did his chest good; but of -course that was no use, because you cannot put gruel in bottles and say -it is medicine. It would not be honest, and besides nobody would -believe you. - -Dick mixed up lemon-juice and sugar and a little of the juice of the red -flannel that Noel's throat was done up in. It comes out beautifully in -hot water. Noel took this and he liked it. Noel's own idea was -liquorice-water, and we let him have it, but it is too plain and black -to sell in bottles at the proper price. - -Noel liked H. O.'s medicine the best, which was silly of him, because it -was only peppermints melted in hot water, and a little cobalt to make it -look blue. It was all right, because H. O.'s paint-box is the French -kind, with Couleurs non Veneneuses on it. This means you may suck your -brushes if you want to, or even your paints if you are a very little -boy. - -It was rather jolly while Noel had that cold. He had a fire in his -bedroom which opens out of Dicky's and Oswald's, and the girls used to -read aloud to Noel all day; they will not read aloud to you when you are -well. Father was away at Liverpool on business, and Albert's uncle was -at Hastings. We were rather glad of this, because we wished to give all -the medicines a fair trial, and grown-ups are but too fond of -interfering. As if we should have given him anything poisonous! - -His cold went on--it was bad in his head, but it was not one of the kind -when he has to have poultices and can't sit up in bed. But when it had -been in his head nearly a week, Oswald happened to tumble over Alice on -the stairs. When we got up she was crying. - -'Don't cry silly!' said Oswald; 'you know I didn't hurt you.' I was -very sorry if I had hurt her, but you ought not to sit on the stairs in -the dark and let other people tumble over you. You ought to remember -how beastly it is for them if they do hurt you. - -'Oh, it's not that, Oswald,' Alice said. 'Don't be a pig! I am so -miserable. Do be kind to me.' - -So Oswald thumped her on the back and told her to shut up. - -'It's about Noel,' she said. 'I'm sure he's very ill; and playing about -with medicines is all very well, but I know he's ill, and Eliza won't -send for the doctor: she says it's only a cold. And I know the -doctor's bills are awful. I heard Father telling Aunt Emily so in the -summer. But he _is_ ill, and perhaps he'll die or something.' - -Then she began to cry again. Oswald thumped her again, because he knows -how a good brother ought to behave, and said, 'Cheer up.' If we had -been in a book Oswald would have embraced his little sister tenderly, -and mingled his tears with hers. - -Then Oswald said, 'Why not write to Father?' - -And she cried more and said, 'I've lost the paper with the address. H. -O. had it to draw on the back of, and I can't find it now; I've looked -everywhere. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. No I won't. But I'm -going out. Don't tell the others. And I say, Oswald, do pretend I'm in -if Eliza asks. Promise.' - -'Tell me what you're going to do,' I said. But she said 'No'; and there -was a good reason why not. So I said I wouldn't promise if it came to -that. Of course I meant to all right. But it did seem mean of her not -to tell me. - -So Alice went out by the side door while Eliza was setting tea, and she -was a long time gone; she was not in to tea. When Eliza asked Oswald -where she was he said he did not know, but perhaps she was tidying her -corner drawer. Girls often do this, and it takes a long time. Noel -coughed a good bit after tea, and asked for Alice. - -Oswald told him she was doing something and it was a secret. Oswald did -not tell any lies even to save his sister. When Alice came back she was -very quiet, but she whispered to Oswald that it was all right. When it -was rather late Eliza said she was going out to post a letter. This -always takes her an hour, because she _will_ go to the post-office across -the Heath instead of the pillar-box, because once a boy dropped fusees -in our pillar-box and burnt the letters. It was not any of us; Eliza -told us about it. And when there was a knock at the door a long time -after we thought it was Eliza come back, and that she had forgotten the -back-door key. We made H. O. go down to open the door, because it is -his place to run about: his legs are younger than ours. And we heard -boots on the stairs besides H. O.'s, and we listened spellbound till the -door opened, and it was Albert's uncle. He looked very tired. - -'I am glad you've come,' Oswald said. 'Alice began to think Noel--' - -Alice stopped me, and her face was very red, her nose was shiny too, -with having cried so much before tea. - -She said, 'I only said I thought Noel ought to have the doctor. Don't -you think he ought?' She got hold of Albert's uncle and held on to him. - -'Let's have a look at you, young man,' said Albert's uncle, and he sat -down on the edge of the bed. It is a rather shaky bed, the bar that -keeps it steady underneath got broken when we were playing burglars last -winter. It was our crowbar. He began to feel Noel's pulse, and went on -talking. - -'It was revealed to the Arab physician as he made merry in his tents on -the wild plains of Hastings that the Presence had a cold in its head. -So he immediately seated himself on the magic carpet, and bade it bear -him hither, only pausing in the flight to purchase a few sweetmeats in -the bazaar.' - -He pulled out a jolly lot of chocolate and some butterscotch, and grapes -for Noel. When we had all said thank you, he went on. - -'The physician's are the words of wisdom: it's high time this kid was -asleep. I have spoken. Ye have my leave to depart.' - -So we bunked, and Dora and Albert's uncle made Noel comfortable for the -night. - -Then they came to the nursery which we had gone down to, and he sat down -in the Guy Fawkes chair and said, 'Now then.' - -Alice said, 'You may tell them what I did. I daresay they'll all be in -a wax, but I don't care.' - -'I think you were very wise,' said Albert's uncle, pulling her close to -him to sit on his knee. 'I am very glad you telegraphed.' - -So then Oswald understood what Alice's secret was. She had gone out and -sent a telegram to Albert's uncle at Hastings. But Oswald thought she -might have told him. Afterwards she told me what she had put in the -telegram. It was, 'Come home. We have given Noel a cold, and I think -we are killing him.' With the address it came to tenpence-halfpenny. - -Then Albert's uncle began to ask questions, and it all came out, how -Dicky had tried to catch the cold, but the cold had gone to Noel -instead, and about the medicines and all. Albert's uncle looked very -serious. - -'Look here,' he said, 'You're old enough not to play the fool like this. -Health is the best thing you've got; you ought to know better than to -risk it. You might have killed your little brother with your precious -medicines. You've had a lucky escape, certainly. But poor Noel!' - -'Oh, do you think he's going to die?' Alice asked that, and she was -crying again. - -'No, no,' said Albert's uncle; 'but look here. Do you see how silly -you've been? And I thought you promised your Father--' And then he gave -us a long talking-to. He can make you feel most awfully small. At last -he stopped, and we said we were very sorry, and he said, 'You know I -promised to take you all to the pantomime?' - -So we said, 'Yes,' and knew but too well that now he wasn't going to. -Then he went on-- - -'Well, I will take you if you like, or I will take Noel to the sea for a -week to cure his cold. Which is it to be?' - -Of course he knew we should say, 'Take Noel' and we did; but Dicky told -me afterwards he thought it was hard on H. O. - -Albert's uncle stayed till Eliza came in, and then he said good night in -a way that showed us that all was forgiven and forgotten. - -And we went to bed. It must have been the middle of the night when -Oswald woke up suddenly, and there was Alice with her teeth chattering, -shaking him to wake him. - -'Oh, Oswald!' she said, 'I am so unhappy. Suppose I should die in the -night!' - -Oswald told her to go to bed and not gas. But she said, 'I must tell -you; I wish I'd told Albert's uncle. I'm a thief, and if I die to-night -I know where thieves go to.' So Oswald saw it was no good and he sat up -in bed and said--'Go ahead.' So Alice stood shivering and said--'I -hadn't enough money for the telegram, so I took the bad sixpence out of -the exchequer. And I paid for it with that and the fivepence I had. -And I wouldn't tell you, because if you'd stopped me doing it I couldn't -have borne it; and if you'd helped me you'd have been a thief too. Oh, -what shall I do?' - -Oswald thought a minute, and then he said-- - -'You'd better have told me. But I think it will be all right if we pay -it back. Go to bed. Cross with you? No, stupid! Only another time -you'd better not keep secrets.' - -So she kissed Oswald, and he let her, and she went back to bed. - -The next day Albert's uncle took Noel away, before Oswald had time to -persuade Alice that we ought to tell him about the sixpence. Alice was -very unhappy, but not so much as in the night: you can be very -miserable in the night if you have done anything wrong and you happen to -be awake. I know this for a fact. - -None of us had any money except Eliza, and she wouldn't give us any -unless we said what for; and of course we could not do that because of -the honour of the family. And Oswald was anxious to get the sixpence to -give to the telegraph people because he feared that the badness of that -sixpence might have been found out, and that the police might come for -Alice at any moment. I don't think I ever had such an unhappy day. Of -course we could have written to Albert's uncle, but it would have taken -a long time, and every moment of delay added to Alice's danger. We -thought and thought, but we couldn't think of any way to get that -sixpence. It seems a small sum, but you see Alice's liberty depended on -it. It was quite late in the afternoon when I met Mrs Leslie on the -Parade. She had a brown fur coat and a lot of yellow flowers in her -hands. She stopped to speak to me, and asked me how the Poet was. I -told her he had a cold, and I wondered whether she would lend me -sixpence if I asked her, but I could not make up my mind how to begin to -say it. It is a hard thing to say--much harder than you would think. -She talked to me for a bit, and then she suddenly got into a cab, and -said-- - -'I'd no idea it was so late,' and told the man where to go. And just as -she started she shoved the yellow flowers through the window and said, -'For the sick poet, with my love,' and was driven off. - -Gentle reader, I will not conceal from you what Oswald did. He knew all -about not disgracing the family, and he did not like doing what I am -going to say: and they were really Noel's flowers, only he could not -have sent them to Hastings, and Oswald knew he would say 'Yes' if Oswald -asked him. Oswald sacrificed his family pride because of his little -sister's danger. I do not say he was a noble boy--I just tell you what -he did, and you can decide for yourself about the nobleness. - -He put on his oldest clothes--they're much older than any you would -think he had if you saw him when he was tidy--and he took those yellow -chrysanthemums and he walked with them to Greenwich Station and waited -for the trains bringing people from London. He sold those flowers in -penny bunches and got tenpence. Then he went to the telegraph office at -Lewisham, and said to the lady there: - -'A little girl gave you a bad sixpence yesterday. Here are six good -pennies.' - -The lady said she had not noticed it, and never mind, but Oswald knew -that 'Honesty is the best Policy', and he refused to take back the -pennies. So at last she said she should put them in the plate on -Sunday. She is a very nice lady. I like the way she does her hair. - -Then Oswald went home to Alice and told her, and she hugged him, and -said he was a dear, good, kind boy, and he said 'Oh, it's all right.' - -We bought peppermint bullseyes with the fourpence I had over, and the -others wanted to know where we got the money, but we would not tell. - -Only afterwards when Noel came home we told him, because they were his -flowers, and he said it was quite right. He made some poetry about it. -I only remember one bit of it. - - The noble youth of high degree - Consents to play a menial part, - All for his sister Alice's sake, - Who was so dear to his faithful heart. - -But Oswald himself has never bragged about it. We got no treasure out -of this, unless you count the peppermint bullseyes. - - - -CHAPTER 13 -THE ROBBER AND THE BURGLAR - -A day or two after Noel came back from Hastings there was snow; it was -jolly. And we cleared it off the path. A man to do it is sixpence at -least, and you should always save when you can. A penny saved is a -penny earned. And then we thought it would be nice to clear it off the -top of the portico, where it lies so thick, and the edges as if they had -been cut with a knife. And just as we had got out of the landing-window -on to the portico, the Water Rates came up the path with his book that -he tears the thing out of that says how much you have got to pay, and -the little ink-bottle hung on to his buttonhole in case you should pay -him. Father says the Water Rates is a sensible man, and knows it is -always well to be prepared for whatever happens, however unlikely. -Alice said afterwards that she rather liked the Water Rates, really, and -Noel said he had a face like a good vizier, or the man who rewards the -honest boy for restoring the purse, but we did not think about these -things at the time, and as the Water Rates came up the steps, we -shovelled down a great square slab of snow like an avalanche--and it -fell right on his head. Two of us thought of it at the same moment, so -it was quite a large avalanche. And when the Water Rates had shaken -himself he rang the bell. It was Saturday, and Father was at home. We -know now that it is very wrong and ungentlemanly to shovel snow off -porticoes on to the Water Rates, or any other person, and we hope he did -not catch a cold, and we are very sorry. We apologized to the Water -Rates when Father told us to. We were all sent to bed for it. - -We all deserved the punishment, because the others would have shovelled -down snow just as we did if they'd thought of it--only they are not so -quick at thinking of things as we are. And even quite wrong things -sometimes lead to adventures; as every one knows who has ever read about -pirates or highwaymen. - -Eliza hates us to be sent to bed early, because it means her having to -bring meals up, and it means lighting the fire in Noel's room ever so -much earlier than usual. He had to have a fire because he still had a -bit of a cold. But this particular day we got Eliza into a good temper -by giving her a horrid brooch with pretending amethysts in it, that an -aunt once gave to Alice, so Eliza brought up an extra scuttle of coals, -and when the greengrocer came with the potatoes (he is always late on -Saturdays) she got some chestnuts from him. So that when we heard Father -go out after his dinner, there was a jolly fire in Noel's room, and we -were able to go in and be Red Indians in blankets most comfortably. -Eliza had gone out; she says she gets things cheaper on Saturday nights. -She has a great friend, who sells fish at a shop, and he is very -generous, and lets her have herrings for less than half the natural -price. - -So we were all alone in the house; Pincher was out with Eliza, and we -talked about robbers. And Dora thought it would be a dreadful trade, -but Dicky said-- - -'I think it would be very interesting. And you would only rob rich -people, and be very generous to the poor and needy, like Claude Duval.' -Dora said, 'It is wrong to be a robber.' - -'Yes,' said Alice, 'you would never know a happy hour. Think of trying -to sleep with the stolen jewels under your bed, and remembering all the -quantities of policemen and detectives that there are in the world!' - -'There are ways of being robbers that are not wrong,' said Noel; 'if you -can rob a robber it is a right act.' - -'But you can't,' said Dora; 'he is too clever, and besides, it's wrong -anyway.' - -'Yes you can, and it isn't; and murdering him with boiling oil is a -right act, too, so there!' said Noel. 'What about Ali Baba? Now then!' -And we felt it was a score for Noel. - -'What would you do if there _was_ a robber?' said Alice. - -H. O. said he would kill him with boiling oil; but Alice explained that -she meant a real robber--now--this minute--in the house. - -Oswald and Dicky did not say; but Noel said he thought it would only be -fair to ask the robber quite politely and quietly to go away, and then -if he didn't you could deal with him. - -Now what I am going to tell you is a very strange and wonderful thing, -and I hope you will be able to believe it. I should not, if a boy told -me, unless I knew him to be a man of honour, and perhaps not then unless -he gave his sacred word. But it is true, all the same, and it only -shows that the days of romance and daring deeds are not yet at an end. - -Alice was just asking Noel _how_ he would deal with the robber who -wouldn't go if he was asked politely and quietly, when we heard a noise -downstairs--quite a plain noise, not the kind of noise you fancy you -hear. It was like somebody moving a chair. We held our breath and -listened and then came another noise, like some one poking a fire. Now, -you remember there was no one _to_ poke a fire or move a chair downstairs, -because Eliza and Father were both out. They could not have come in -without our hearing them, because the front door is as hard to shut as -the back one, and whichever you go in by you have to give a slam that -you can hear all down the street. - -H. O. and Alice and Dora caught hold of each other's blankets and looked -at Dicky and Oswald, and every one was quite pale. And Noel whispered-- - -'It's ghosts, I know it is'--and then we listened again, but there was -no more noise. Presently Dora said in a whisper-- - -'Whatever shall we do? Oh, whatever shall we do--what _shall_ we do?' And -she kept on saying it till we had to tell her to shut up. - -O reader, have you ever been playing Red Indians in blankets round a -bedroom fire in a house where you thought there was no one but you--and -then suddenly heard a noise like a chair, and a fire being poked, -downstairs? Unless you have you will not be able to imagine at all what -it feels like. It was not like in books; our hair did not stand on end -at all, and we never said 'Hist!' once, but our feet got very cold, -though we were in blankets by the fire, and the insides of Oswald's -hands got warm and wet, and his nose was cold like a dog's, and his ears -were burning hot. - -The girls said afterwards that they shivered with terror, and their -teeth chattered, but we did not see or hear this at the time. - -'Shall we open the window and call police?' said Dora; and then Oswald -suddenly thought of something, and he breathed more freely and he said-- - -'I _know_ it's not ghosts, and I don't believe it's robbers. I expect -it's a stray cat got in when the coals came this morning, and she's been -hiding in the cellar, and now she's moving about. Let's go down and -see.' - -The girls wouldn't, of course; but I could see that they breathed more -freely too. But Dicky said, 'All right; I will if you will.' - -H. O. said, 'Do you think it's _really_ a cat?' So we said he had better -stay with the girls. And of course after that we had to let him and -Alice both come. Dora said if we took Noel down with his cold, she would -scream 'Fire!' and 'Murder!' and she didn't mind if the whole street -heard. - -So Noel agreed to be getting his clothes on, and the rest of us said we -would go down and look for the cat. - -Now Oswald _said_ that about the cat, and it made it easier to go down, -but in his inside he did not feel at all sure that it might not be -robbers after all. Of course, we had often talked about robbers before, -but it is very different when you sit in a room and listen and listen -and listen; and Oswald felt somehow that it would be easier to go down -and see what it was, than to wait, and listen, and wait, and wait, and -listen, and wait, and then perhaps to hear _it_, whatever it was, come -creeping slowly up the stairs as softly as _it_ could with _its_ boots off, -and the stairs creaking, towards the room where we were with the door -open in case of Eliza coming back suddenly, and all dark on the -landings. And then it would have been just as bad, and it would have -lasted longer, and you would have known you were a coward besides. Dicky -says he felt all these same things. Many people would say we were young -heroes to go down as we did; so I have tried to explain, because no -young hero wishes to have more credit than he deserves. - -The landing gas was turned down low--just a blue bead--and we four went -out very softly, wrapped in our blankets, and we stood on the top of the -stairs a good long time before we began to go down. And we listened and -listened till our ears buzzed. - -And Oswald whispered to Dicky, and Dicky went into our room and fetched -the large toy pistol that is a foot long, and that has the trigger -broken, and I took it because I am the eldest; and I don't think either -of us thought it was the cat now. But Alice and H. O. did. Dicky got -the poker out of Noel's room, and told Dora it was to settle the cat -with when we caught her. - -Then Oswald whispered, 'Let's play at burglars; Dicky and I are armed to -the teeth, we will go first. You keep a flight behind us, and be a -reinforcement if we are attacked. Or you can retreat and defend the -women and children in the fortress, if you'd rather.' - -But they said they would be a reinforcement. - -Oswald's teeth chattered a little when he spoke. It was not with -anything else except cold. - -So Dicky and Oswald crept down, and when we got to the bottom of the -stairs, we saw Father's study door just ajar, and the crack of light. -And Oswald was so pleased to see the light, knowing that burglars prefer -the dark, or at any rate the dark lantern, that he felt really sure it -_was_ the cat after all, and then he thought it would be fun to make the -others upstairs think it was really a robber. So he cocked the pistol-- -you can cock it, but it doesn't go off--and he said, 'Come on, Dick!' -and he rushed at the study door and burst into the room, crying, -'Surrender! you are discovered! Surrender, or I fire! Throw up your -hands!' - -And, as he finished saying it, he saw before him, standing on the study -hearthrug, a Real Robber. There was no mistake about it. Oswald was -sure it was a robber, because it had a screwdriver in its hands, and was -standing near the cupboard door that H. O. broke the lock off; and there -were gimlets and screws and things on the floor. There is nothing in -that cupboard but old ledgers and magazines and the tool chest, but of -course, a robber could not know that beforehand. - -When Oswald saw that there really was a robber, and that he was so -heavily armed with the screwdriver, he did not feel comfortable. But he -kept the pistol pointed at the robber, and--you will hardly believe it, -but it is true--the robber threw down the screwdriver clattering on the -other tools, and he _did_ throw up his hands, and said-- - -'I surrender; don't shoot me! How many of you are there?' - -So Dicky said, 'You are outnumbered. Are you armed?' - -And the robber said, 'No, not in the least.' - -And Oswald said, still pointing the pistol, and feeling very strong and -brave and as if he was in a book, 'Turn out your pockets.' - -The robber did: and while he turned them out, we looked at him. He was -of the middle height, and clad in a black frock-coat and grey trousers. -His boots were a little gone at the sides, and his shirt-cuffs were a -bit frayed, but otherwise he was of gentlemanly demeanour. He had a -thin, wrinkled face, with big, light eyes that sparkled, and then looked -soft very queerly, and a short beard. In his youth it must have been of -a fair golden colour, but now it was tinged with grey. Oswald was sorry -for him, especially when he saw that one of his pockets had a large hole -in it, and that he had nothing in his pockets but letters and string and -three boxes of matches, and a pipe and a handkerchief and a thin tobacco -pouch and two pennies. We made him put all the things on the table, and -then he said-- - -'Well, you've caught me; what are you going to do with me? Police?' - -Alice and H. O. had come down to be reinforcements, when they heard a -shout, and when Alice saw that it was a Real Robber, and that he had -surrendered, she clapped her hands and said, 'Bravo, boys!' and so did -H. O. And now she said, 'If he gives his word of honour not to escape, I -shouldn't call the police: it seems a pity. Wait till Father comes -home.' - -The robber agreed to this, and gave his word of honour, and asked if he -might put on a pipe, and we said 'Yes,' and he sat in Father's armchair -and warmed his boots, which steamed, and I sent H. O. and Alice to put -on some clothes and tell the others, and bring down Dicky's and my -knickerbockers, and the rest of the chestnuts. - -And they all came, and we sat round the fire, and it was jolly. The -robber was very friendly, and talked to us a great deal. - -'I wasn't always in this low way of business,' he said, when Noel said -something about the things he had turned out of his pockets. 'It's a -great come-down to a man like me. But, if I must be caught, it's -something to be caught by brave young heroes like you. My stars! How -you did bolt into the room,--"Surrender, and up with your hands!" You -might have been born and bred to the thief-catching.' - -Oswald is sorry if it was mean, but he could not own up just then that -he did not think there was any one in the study when he did that brave -if rash act. He has told since. - -'And what made you think there was any one in the house?' the robber -asked, when he had thrown his head back, and laughed for quite half a -minute. So we told him. And he applauded our valour, and Alice and H. -O. explained that they would have said 'Surrender,' too, only they were -reinforcements. The robber ate some of the chestnuts--and we sat and -wondered when Father would come home, and what he would say to us for -our intrepid conduct. And the robber told us of all the things he had -done before he began to break into houses. Dicky picked up the tools -from the floor, and suddenly he said-- - -'Why, this is Father's screwdriver and his gimlets, and all! Well, I do -call it jolly cheek to pick a man's locks with his own tools!' - -'True, true,' said the robber. 'It is cheek, of the jolliest! But you -see I've come down in the world. I was a highway robber once, but -horses are so expensive to hire--five shillings an hour, you know--and I -couldn't afford to keep them. The highwayman business isn't what it -was.' - -'What about a bike?' said H. O. - -But the robber thought cycles were low--and besides you couldn't go -across country with them when occasion arose, as you could with a trusty -steed. And he talked of highwaymen as if he knew just how we liked -hearing it. - -Then he told us how he had been a pirate captain--and how he had sailed -over waves mountains high, and gained rich prizes--and how he _did_ begin -to think that here he had found a profession to his mind. - -'I don't say there are no ups and downs in it,' he said, 'especially in -stormy weather. But what a trade! And a sword at your side, and the -Jolly Roger flying at the peak, and a prize in sight. And all the black -mouths of your guns pointed at the laden trader--and the wind in your -favour, and your trusty crew ready to live and die for you! Oh--but -it's a grand life!' - -I did feel so sorry for him. He used such nice words, and he had a -gentleman's voice. - -'I'm sure you weren't brought up to be a pirate,' said Dora. She had -dressed even to her collar--and made Noel do it too--but the rest of us -were in blankets with just a few odd things put on anyhow underneath. - -The robber frowned and sighed. - -'No,' he said, 'I was brought up to the law. I was at Balliol, bless -your hearts, and that's true anyway.' He sighed again, and looked hard -at the fire. - -'That was my Father's college,' H. O. was beginning, but Dicky -said--'Why did you leave off being a pirate?' - -'A pirate?' he said, as if he had not been thinking of such things. - -'Oh, yes; why I gave it up because--because I could not get over the -dreadful sea-sickness.' - -'Nelson was sea-sick,' said Oswald. - -'Ah,' said the robber; 'but I hadn't his luck or his pluck, or -something. He stuck to it and won Trafalgar, didn't he? "Kiss me, -Hardy"--and all that, eh? _I_ couldn't stick to it--I had to resign. -And nobody kissed _me_.' - -I saw by his understanding about Nelson that he was really a man who had -been to a good school as well as to Balliol. - -Then we asked him, 'And what did you do then?' - -And Alice asked if he was ever a coiner, and we told him how we had -thought we'd caught the desperate gang next door, and he was very much -interested and said he was glad he had never taken to coining. - -'Besides, the coins are so ugly nowadays,' he said, 'no one could really -find any pleasure in making them. And it's a hole-and-corner business -at the best, isn't it?--and it must be a very thirsty one--with the hot -metal and furnaces and things.' - -And again he looked at the fire. - -Oswald forgot for a minute that the interesting stranger was a robber, -and asked him if he wouldn't have a drink. Oswald has heard Father do -this to his friends, so he knows it is the right thing. The robber said -he didn't mind if he did. And that is right, too. - -And Dora went and got a bottle of Father's ale--the Light Sparkling -Family--and a glass, and we gave it to the robber. Dora said she would -be responsible. - -Then when he had had a drink he told us about bandits, but he said it -was so bad in wet weather. Bandits' caves were hardly ever properly -weathertight. And bush-ranging was the same. - -'As a matter of fact,' he said, 'I was bush-ranging this afternoon, -among the furze-bushes on the Heath, but I had no luck. I stopped the -Lord Mayor in his gilt coach, with all his footmen in plush and gold -lace, smart as cockatoos. But it was no go. The Lord Mayor hadn't a -stiver in his pockets. One of the footmen had six new pennies: the -Lord Mayor always pays his servants' wages in new pennies. I spent -fourpence of that in bread and cheese, that on the table's the tuppence. -Ah, it's a poor trade!' And then he filled his pipe again. - -We had turned out the gas, so that Father should have a jolly good -surprise when he did come home, and we sat and talked as pleasant as -could be. I never liked a new man better than I liked that robber. And -I felt so sorry for him. He told us he had been a war-correspondent and -an editor, in happier days, as well as a horse-stealer and a colonel of -dragoons. - -And quite suddenly, just as we were telling him about Lord Tottenham and -our being highwaymen ourselves, he put up his hand and said 'Shish!' and -we were quiet and listened. - -There was a scrape, scrape, scraping noise; it came from downstairs. - -'They're filing something,' whispered the robber, 'here--shut up, give -me that pistol, and the poker. There is a burglar now, and no mistake.' - -'It's only a toy one and it won't go off,' I said, 'but you can cock -it.' - -Then we heard a snap. 'There goes the window bar,' said the robber -softly. 'Jove! what an adventure! You kids stay here, I'll tackle it.' - -But Dicky and I said we should come. So he let us go as far as the -bottom of the kitchen stairs, and we took the tongs and shovel with us. -There was a light in the kitchen; a very little light. It is curious we -never thought, any of us, that this might be a plant of our robber's to -get away. We never thought of doubting his word of honour. And we were -right. - -That noble robber dashed the kitchen door open, and rushed in with the -big toy pistol in one hand and the poker in the other, shouting out just -like Oswald had done-- - -'Surrender! You are discovered! Surrender, or I'll fire! Throw up -your hands!' And Dicky and I rattled the tongs and shovel so that he -might know there were more of us, all bristling with weapons. - -And we heard a husky voice in the kitchen saying-- - -'All right, governor! Stow that scent sprinkler. I'll give in. Blowed -if I ain't pretty well sick of the job, anyway.' - -Then we went in. Our robber was standing in the grandest manner with -his legs very wide apart, and the pistol pointing at the cowering -burglar. The burglar was a large man who did not mean to have a beard, -I think, but he had got some of one, and a red comforter, and a fur cap, -and his face was red and his voice was thick. How different from our -own robber! The burglar had a dark lantern, and he was standing by the -plate-basket. When we had lit the gas we all thought he was very like -what a burglar ought to be. - -He did not look as if he could ever have been a pirate or a highwayman, -or anything really dashing or noble, and he scowled and shuffled his -feet and said: 'Well, go on: why don't yer fetch the pleece?' - -'Upon my word, I don't know,' said our robber, rubbing his chin. -'Oswald, why don't we fetch the police?' - -It is not every robber that I would stand Christian names from, I can -tell you but just then I didn't think of that. I just said--'Do you -mean I'm to fetch one?' - -Our robber looked at the burglar and said nothing. - -Then the burglar began to speak very fast, and to look different ways -with his hard, shiny little eyes. - -'Lookee 'ere, governor,' he said, 'I was stony broke, so help me, I was. -And blessed if I've nicked a haporth of your little lot. You know -yourself there ain't much to tempt a bloke,' he shook the plate-basket -as if he was angry with it, and the yellowy spoons and forks rattled. -'I was just a-looking through this 'ere Bank-ollerday show, when you -come. Let me off, sir. Come now, I've got kids of my own at home, -strike me if I ain't--same as yours--I've got a nipper just about 'is -size, and what'll come of them if I'm lagged? I ain't been in it long, -sir, and I ain't 'andy at it.' - -'No,' said our robber; 'you certainly are not.' Alice and the others -had come down by now to see what was happening. Alice told me -afterwards they thought it really was the cat this time. - -'No, I ain't 'andy, as you say, sir, and if you let me off this once -I'll chuck the whole blooming bizz; rake my civvy, I will. Don't be hard -on a cove, mister; think of the missis and the kids. I've got one just -the cut of little missy there bless 'er pretty 'eart.' - -'Your family certainly fits your circumstances very nicely,' said our -robber. Then Alice said-- - -'Oh, do let him go! If he's got a little girl like me, whatever will -she do? Suppose it was Father!' - -'I don't think he's got a little girl like you, my dear,' said our -robber, 'and I think he'll be safer under lock and key.' - -'You ask yer Father to let me go, miss,' said the burglar; ''e won't 'ave -the 'art to refuse you.' - -'If I do,' said Alice, 'will you promise never to come back?' - -'Not me, miss,' the burglar said very earnestly, and he looked at the -plate-basket again, as if that alone would be enough to keep him away, -our robber said afterwards. - -'And will you be good and not rob any more?' said Alice. - -'I'll turn over a noo leaf, miss, so help me.' - -Then Alice said--'Oh, do let him go! I'm sure he'll be good.' - -But our robber said no, it wouldn't be right; we must wait till Father -came home. Then H. O. said, very suddenly and plainly: - -'I don't think it's at all fair, when you're a robber yourself.' - -The minute he'd said it the burglar said, 'Kidded, by gum!'--and then -our robber made a step towards him to catch hold of him, and before you -had time to think 'Hullo!' the burglar knocked the pistol up with one -hand and knocked our robber down with the other, and was off out of the -window like a shot, though Oswald and Dicky did try to stop him by -holding on to his legs. - -And that burglar had the cheek to put his head in at the window and say, -'I'll give yer love to the kids and the missis'--and he was off like -winking, and there were Alice and Dora trying to pick up our robber, and -asking him whether he was hurt, and where. He wasn't hurt at all, -except a lump at the back of his head. And he got up, and we dusted the -kitchen floor off him. Eliza is a dirty girl. - -Then he said, 'Let's put up the shutters. It never rains but it pours. -Now you've had two burglars I daresay you'll have twenty.' So we put up -the shutters, which Eliza has strict orders to do before she goes out, -only she never does, and we went back to Father's study, and the robber -said, 'What a night we are having!' and put his boots back in the fender -to go on steaming, and then we all talked at once. It was the most -wonderful adventure we ever had, though it wasn't treasure-seeking--at -least not ours. I suppose it was the burglar's treasure-seeking, but he -didn't get much--and our robber said he didn't believe a word about -those kids that were so like Alice and me. - -And then there was the click of the gate, and we said, 'Here's Father,' -and the robber said, 'And now for the police.' - -Then we all jumped up. We did like him so much, and it seemed so unfair -that he should be sent to prison, and the horrid, lumping big burglar -not. - -And Alice said, 'Oh, _no_--run! Dicky will let you out at the back door. -Oh, do go, go _now_.' - -And we all said, 'Yes, _go_,' and pulled him towards the door, and gave -him his hat and stick and the things out of his pockets. - -But Father's latchkey was in the door, and it was too late. - -Father came in quickly, purring with the cold, and began to say, 'It's -all right, Foulkes, I've got--' And then he stopped short and stared at -us. Then he said, in the voice we all hate, 'Children, what is the -meaning of all this?' And for a minute nobody spoke. - -Then my Father said, 'Foulkes, I must really apologize for these very -naughty--' And then our robber rubbed his hands and laughed, and cried -out: - -'You're mistaken, my dear sir, I'm not Foulkes; I'm a robber, captured -by these young people in the most gallant manner. "Hands up, surrender, -or I fire," and all the rest of it. My word, Bastable, but you've got -some kids worth having! I wish my Denny had their pluck.' - -Then we began to understand, and it was like being knocked down, it was -so sudden. And our robber told us he wasn't a robber after all. He was -only an old college friend of my Father's, and he had come after dinner, -when Father was just trying to mend the lock H. O. had broken, to ask -Father to get him a letter to a doctor about his little boy Denny, who -was ill. And Father had gone over the Heath to Vanbrugh Park to see -some rich people he knows and get the letter. And he had left Mr Foulkes -to wait till he came back, because it was important to know at once -whether Father could get the letter, and if he couldn't Mr Foulkes would -have had to try some one else directly. - -We were dumb with amazement. - -Our robber told my Father about the other burglar, and said he was sorry -he'd let him escape, but my Father said, 'Oh, it's all right: poor -beggar; if he really had kids at home: you never can tell--forgive us -our debts, don't you know; but tell me about the first business. It -must have been moderately entertaining.' - -Then our robber told my Father how I had rushed into the room with a -pistol, crying out . . . but you know all about that. And he laid it on -so thick and fat about plucky young-uns, and chips of old blocks, and -things like that, that I felt I was purple with shame, even under the -blanket. So I swallowed that thing that tries to prevent you speaking -when you ought to, and I said, 'Look here, Father, I didn't really think -there was any one in the study. We thought it was a cat at first, and -then I thought there was no one there, and I was just larking. And when -I said surrender and all that, it was just the game, don't you know?' - -Then our robber said, 'Yes, old chap; but when you found there really -_was_ someone there, you dropped the pistol and bunked, didn't you, eh?' - -And I said, 'No; I thought, "Hullo! here's a robber! Well, it's all up, -I suppose, but I may as well hold on and see what happens."' - -And I was glad I'd owned up, for Father slapped me on the back, and said -I was a young brick, and our robber said I was no funk anyway, and -though I got very hot under the blanket I liked it, and I explained that -the others would have done the same if they had thought of it. - -Then Father got up some more beer, and laughed about Dora's -responsibility, and he got out a box of figs he had bought for us, only -he hadn't given it to us because of the Water Rates, and Eliza came in -and brought up the bread and cheese, and what there was left of the neck -of mutton--cold wreck of mutton, Father called it--and we had a feast-- -like a picnic--all sitting anywhere, and eating with our fingers. It -was prime. We sat up till past twelve o'clock, and I never felt so -pleased to think I was not born a girl. It was hard on the others; they -would have done just the same if they'd thought of it. But it does make -you feel jolly when your pater says you're a young brick! - -When Mr Foulkes was going, he said to Alice, 'Good-bye, Hardy.' - -And Alice understood, of course, and kissed him as hard as she could. - -And she said, 'I wanted to, when you said no one kissed you when you -left off being a pirate.' And he said, 'I know you did, my dear.' And -Dora kissed him too, and said, 'I suppose none of these tales were -true?' - -And our robber just said, 'I tried to play the part properly, my dear.' - -And he jolly well did play it, and no mistake. We have often seen him -since, and his boy Denny, and his girl Daisy, but that comes in another -story. - -And if any of you kids who read this ever had two such adventures in one -night you can just write and tell me. That's all. - - - -CHAPTER 14 -THE DIVINING-ROD - -You have no idea how uncomfortable the house was on the day when we -sought for gold with the divining-rod. It was like a spring-cleaning in -the winter-time. All the carpets were up, because Father had told Eliza -to make the place decent as there was a gentleman coming to dinner the -next day. So she got in a charwoman, and they slopped water about, and -left brooms and brushes on the stairs for people to tumble over. H. O. -got a big bump on his head in that way, and when he said it was too bad, -Eliza said he should keep in the nursery then, and not be where he'd no -business. We bandaged his head with a towel, and then he stopped crying -and played at being England's wounded hero dying in the cockpit, while -every man was doing his duty, as the hero had told them to, and Alice -was Hardy, and I was the doctor, and the others were the crew. Playing -at Hardy made us think of our own dear robber, and we wished he was -there, and wondered if we should ever see him any more. - -We were rather astonished at Father's having anyone to dinner, because -now he never seems to think of anything but business. Before Mother died -people often came to dinner, and Father's business did not take up so -much of his time and was not the bother it is now. And we used to see -who could go furthest down in our nightgowns and get nice things to eat, -without being seen, out of the dishes as they came out of the dining- -room. Eliza can't cook very nice things. She told Father she was a -good plain cook, but he says it was a fancy portrait. We stayed in the -nursery till the charwoman came in and told us to be off--she was going -to make one job of it, and have our carpet up as well as all the others, -now the man was here to beat them. It came up, and it was very dusty-- -and under it we found my threepenny-bit that I lost ages ago, which -shows what Eliza is. H. O. had got tired of being the wounded hero, and -Dicky was so tired of doing nothing that Dora said she knew he'd begin -to tease Noel in a minute; then of course Dicky said he wasn't going to -tease anybody--he was going out to the Heath. He said he'd heard that -nagging women drove a man from his home, and now he found it was quite -true. Oswald always tries to be a peacemaker, so he told Dicky to shut -up and not make an ass of himself. And Alice said, 'Well, Dora began'-- -And Dora tossed her chin up and said it wasn't any business of Oswald's -any way, and no one asked Alice's opinion. So we all felt very -uncomfortable till Noel said, 'Don't let's quarrel about nothing. You -know let dogs delight--and I made up another piece while you were -talking-- - - Quarrelling is an evil thing, - It fills with gall life's cup; - For when once you begin - It takes such a long time to make it up.' - -We all laughed then and stopped jawing at each other. Noel is very -funny with his poetry. But that piece happened to come out quite true. -You begin to quarrel and then you can't stop; often, long before the -others are ready to cry and make it up, I see how silly it is, and I -want to laugh; but it doesn't do to say so--for it only makes the others -crosser than they were before. I wonder why that is? - -Alice said Noel ought to be poet laureate, and she actually went out in -the cold and got some laurel leaves--the spotted kind--out of the -garden, and Dora made a crown and we put it on him. He was quite -pleased; but the leaves made a mess, and Eliza said, 'Don't.' I believe -that's a word grown-ups use more than any other. Then suddenly Alice -thought of that old idea of hers for finding treasure, and she said--'Do -let's try the divining-rod.' - -So Oswald said, 'Fair priestess, we do greatly desire to find gold -beneath our land, therefore we pray thee practise with the divining-rod, -and tell us where we can find it.' - -'Do ye desire to fashion of it helms and hauberks?' said Alice. - -'Yes,' said Noel; 'and chains and ouches.' - -'I bet you don't know what an "ouch" is,' said Dicky. - -'Yes I do, so there!' said Noel. 'It's a carcanet. I looked it out in -the dicker, now then!' We asked him what a carcanet was, but he wouldn't -say. - -'And we want to make fair goblets of the gold,' said Oswald. - -'Yes, to drink coconut milk out of,' said H. O. - -'And we desire to build fair palaces of it,' said Dicky. - -'And to buy things,' said Dora; 'a great many things. New Sunday frocks -and hats and kid gloves and--' - -She would have gone on for ever so long only we reminded her that we -hadn't found the gold yet. - -By this Alice had put on the nursery tablecloth, which is green, and -tied the old blue and yellow antimacassar over her head, and she said-- - -'If your intentions are correct, fear nothing and follow me.' - -And she went down into the hall. We all followed chanting 'Heroes.' It -is a gloomy thing the girls learnt at the High School, and we always use -it when we want a priestly chant. - -Alice stopped short by the hat-stand, and held up her hands as well as -she could for the tablecloth, and said-- - -'Now, great altar of the golden idol, yield me the divining-rod that I -may use it for the good of the suffering people.' - -The umbrella-stand was the altar of the golden idol, and it yielded her -the old school umbrella. She carried it between her palms. - -'Now,' she said, 'I shall sing the magic chant. You mustn't say -anything, but just follow wherever I go--like follow my leader, you -know--and when there is gold underneath the magic rod will twist in the -hand of the priestess like a live thing that seeks to be free. Then you -will dig, and the golden treasure will be revealed. H. O., if you make -that clatter with your boots they'll come and tell us not to. Now come -on all of you.' - -So she went upstairs and down and into every room. We followed her on -tiptoe, and Alice sang as she went. What she sang is not out of a -book--Noel made it up while she was dressing up for the priestess. - - Ashen rod cold - That here I hold, - Teach me where to find the gold. - -When we came to where Eliza was, she said, 'Get along with you'; but -Dora said it was only a game, and we wouldn't touch anything, and our -boots were quite clean, and Eliza might as well let us. So she did. - -It was all right for the priestess, but it was a little dull for the -rest of us, because she wouldn't let us sing, too; so we said we'd had -enough of it, and if she couldn't find the gold we'd leave off and play -something else. The priestess said, 'All right, wait a minute,' and -went on singing. Then we all followed her back into the nursery, where -the carpet was up and the boards smelt of soft soap. Then she said, 'It -moves, it moves! Once more the choral hymn!' So we sang 'Heroes' again, -and in the middle the umbrella dropped from her hands. - -'The magic rod has spoken,' said Alice; 'dig here, and that with courage -and despatch.' We didn't quite see how to dig, but we all began to -scratch on the floor with our hands, but the priestess said, 'Don't be -so silly! It's the place where they come to do the gas. The board's -loose. Dig an you value your lives, for ere sundown the dragon who -guards this spoil will return in his fiery fury and make you his -unresisting prey.' - -So we dug--that is, we got the loose board up. And Alice threw up her -arms and cried-- - -'See the rich treasure--the gold in thick layers, with silver and -diamonds stuck in it!' - -'Like currants in cake,' said H. O. - -'It's a lovely treasure,' said Dicky yawning. 'Let's come back and -carry it away another day.' - -But Alice was kneeling by the hole. - -'Let me feast my eyes on the golden splendour,' she said, 'hidden these -long centuries from the human eye. Behold how the magic rod has led us -to treasures more--Oswald, don't push so!--more bright than ever -monarch--I say, there _is_ something down there, really. I saw it shine!' - -We thought she was kidding, but when she began to try to get into the -hole, which was much too small, we saw she meant it, so I said, 'Let's -have a squint,' and I looked, but I couldn't see anything, even when I -lay down on my stomach. The others lay down on their stomachs too and -tried to see, all but Noel, who stood and looked at us and said we were -the great serpents come down to drink at the magic pool. He wanted to -be the knight and slay the great serpents with his good sword--he even -drew the umbrella ready--but Alice said, 'All right, we will in a -minute. But now--I'm sure I saw it; do get a match, Noel, there's a -dear.' - -'What did you see?' asked Noel, beginning to go for the matches very -slowly. - -'Something bright, away in the corner under the board against the beam.' - -'Perhaps it was a rat's eye,' Noel said, 'or a snake's,' and we did not -put our heads quite so close to the hole till he came back with the -matches. - -Then I struck a match, and Alice cried, 'There it is!' And there it -was, and it was a half-sovereign, partly dusty and partly bright. We -think perhaps a mouse, disturbed by the carpets being taken up, may have -brushed the dust of years from part of the half-sovereign with his tail. -We can't imagine how it came there, only Dora thinks she remembers once -when H. O. was very little Mother gave him some money to hold, and he -dropped it, and it rolled all over the floor. So we think perhaps this -was part of it. We were very glad. H. O. wanted to go out at once and -buy a mask he had seen for fourpence. It had been a shilling mask, but -now it was going very cheap because Guy Fawkes' Day was over, and it was -a little cracked at the top. But Dora said, 'I don't know that it's our -money. Let's wait and ask Father.' - -But H. O. did not care about waiting, and I felt for him. Dora is -rather like grown-ups in that way; she does not seem to understand that -when you want a thing you do want it, and that you don't wish to wait, -even a minute. - -So we went and asked Albert-next-door's uncle. He was pegging away at -one of the rotten novels he has to write to make his living, but he said -we weren't interrupting him at all. - -'My hero's folly has involved him in a difficulty,' he said. 'It is his -own fault. I will leave him to meditate on the incredible fatuity--the -hare-brained recklessness--which have brought him to this pass. It will -be a lesson to him. I, meantime, will give myself unreservedly to the -pleasures of your conversation.' - -That's one thing I like Albert's uncle for. He always talks like a -book, and yet you can always understand what he means. I think he is -more like us, inside of his mind, than most grown-up people are. He can -pretend beautifully. I never met anyone else so good at it, except our -robber, and we began it, with him. But it was Albert's uncle who first -taught us how to make people talk like books when you're playing things, -and he made us learn to tell a story straight from the beginning, not -starting in the middle like most people do. So now Oswald remembered -what he had been told, as he generally does, and began at the beginning, -but when he came to where Alice said she was the priestess, Albert's -uncle said-- - -'Let the priestess herself set forth the tale in fitting speech.' - -So Alice said, 'O high priest of the great idol, the humblest of thy -slaves took the school umbrella for a divining-rod, and sang the song of -inver--what's-it's-name?' - -'Invocation perhaps?' said Albert's uncle. 'Yes; and then I went about -and about and the others got tired, so the divining-rod fell on a -certain spot, and I said, "Dig", and we dug--it was where the loose -board is for the gas men--and then there really and truly was a half- -sovereign lying under the boards, and here it is.' - -Albert's uncle took it and looked at it. - -'The great high priest will bite it to see if it's good,' he said, and -he did. 'I congratulate you,' he went on; 'you are indeed among those -favoured by the Immortals. First you find half-crowns in the garden, -and now this. The high priest advises you to tell your Father, and ask -if you may keep it. My hero has become penitent, but impatient. I must -pull him out of this scrape. Ye have my leave to depart.' - -Of course we know from Kipling that that means, 'You'd better bunk, and -be sharp about it,' so we came away. I do like Albert's uncle. - -I shall be like that when I'm a man. He gave us our Jungle books, and -he is awfully clever, though he does have to write grown-up tales. - -We told Father about it that night. He was very kind. He said we might -certainly have the half-sovereign, and he hoped we should enjoy -ourselves with our treasure-trove. - -Then he said, 'Your dear Mother's Indian Uncle is coming to dinner here -to-morrow night. So will you not drag the furniture about overhead, -please, more than you're absolutely obliged; and H. O. might wear -slippers or something. I can always distinguish the note of H. O.'s -boots.' - -We said we would be very quiet, and Father went on-- - -'This Indian Uncle is not used to children, and he is coming to talk -business with me. It is really important that he should be quiet. Do -you think, Dora, that perhaps bed at six for H. O. and Noel--' - -But H. O. said, 'Father, I really and truly won't make a noise. I'll -stand on my head all the evening sooner than disturb the Indian Uncle -with my boots.' - -And Alice said Noel never made a row anyhow. So Father laughed and -said, 'All right.' And he said we might do as we liked with the half- -sovereign. 'Only for goodness' sake don't try to go in for business -with it,' he said. 'It's always a mistake to go into business with an -insufficient capital.' - -We talked it over all that evening, and we decided that as we were not -to go into business with our half-sovereign it was no use not spending -it at once, and so we might as well have a right royal feast. The next -day we went out and bought the things. We got figs, and almonds and -raisins, and a real raw rabbit, and Eliza promised to cook it for us if -we would wait till tomorrow, because of the Indian Uncle coming to -dinner. She was very busy cooking nice things for him to eat. We got -the rabbit because we are so tired of beef and mutton, and Father hasn't -a bill at the poultry shop. And we got some flowers to go on the -dinner-table for Father's party. And we got hardbake and raspberry -noyau and peppermint rock and oranges and a coconut, with other nice -things. We put it all in the top long drawer. It is H. O.'s play -drawer, and we made him turn his things out and put them in Father's old -portmanteau. H. O. is getting old enough now to learn to be unselfish, -and besides, his drawer wanted tidying very badly. Then we all vowed by -the honour of the ancient House of Bastable that we would not touch any -of the feast till Dora gave the word next day. And we gave H. O. some -of the hardbake, to make it easier for him to keep his vow. The next -day was the most rememorable day in all our lives, but we didn't know -that then. But that is another story. I think that is such a useful way -to know when you can't think how to end up a chapter. I learnt it from -another writer named Kipling. I've mentioned him before, I believe, but -he deserves it! - - - -CHAPTER 15 -'LO, THE POOR INDIAN!' - -It was all very well for Father to ask us not to make a row because the -Indian Uncle was coming to talk business, but my young brother's boots -are not the only things that make a noise. We took his boots away and -made him wear Dora's bath slippers, which are soft and woolly, and -hardly any soles to them; and of course we wanted to see the Uncle, so -we looked over the banisters when he came, and we were as quiet as -mice--but when Eliza had let him in she went straight down to the -kitchen and made the most awful row you ever heard, it sounded like the -Day of judgement, or all the saucepans and crockery in the house being -kicked about the floor, but she told me afterwards it was only the tea- -tray and one or two cups and saucers, that she had knocked over in her -flurry. We heard the Uncle say, 'God bless my soul!' and then he went -into Father's study and the door was shut--we didn't see him properly at -all that time. - -I don't believe the dinner was very nice. Something got burned I'm -sure--for we smelt it. It was an extra smell, besides the mutton. - -I know that got burned. Eliza wouldn't have any of us in the kitchen -except Dora--till dinner was over. Then we got what was left of the -dessert, and had it on the stairs--just round the corner where they -can't see you from the hall, unless the first landing gas is lighted. -Suddenly the study door opened and the Uncle came out and went and felt -in his greatcoat pocket. It was his cigar-case he wanted. We saw that -afterwards. We got a much better view of him then. He didn't look like -an Indian but just like a kind of brown, big Englishman, and of course -he didn't see us, but we heard him mutter to himself-- - -'Shocking bad dinner! Eh!--what?' - -When he went back to the study he didn't shut the door properly. That -door has always been a little tiresome since the day we took the lock -off to get out the pencil sharpener H. O. had shoved into the keyhole. -We didn't listen--really and truly--but the Indian Uncle has a very big -voice, and Father was not going to be beaten by a poor Indian in talking -or anything else--so he spoke up too, like a man, and I heard him say it -was a very good business, and only wanted a little capital--and he said -it as if it was an imposition he had learned, and he hated having to say -it. The Uncle said, 'Pooh, pooh!' to that, and then he said he was -afraid that what that same business wanted was not capital but -management. Then I heard my Father say, 'It is not a pleasant subject: -I am sorry I introduced it. Suppose we change it, sir. Let me fill -your glass.' Then the poor Indian said something about vintage--and that -a poor, broken-down man like he was couldn't be too careful. And then -Father said, 'Well, whisky then,' and afterwards they talked about -Native Races and Imperial something or other and it got very dull. - -So then Oswald remembered that you must not hear what people do not -intend you to hear--even if you are not listening and he said, 'We ought -not to stay here any longer. Perhaps they would not like us to hear--' - -Alice said, 'Oh, do you think it could possibly matter?' and went and -shut the study door softly but quite tight. So it was no use staying -there any longer, and we went to the nursery. - -Then Noel said, 'Now I understand. Of course my Father is making a -banquet for the Indian, because he is a poor, broken-down man. We might -have known that from "Lo, the poor Indian!" you know.' - -We all agreed with him, and we were glad to have the thing explained, -because we had not understood before what Father wanted to have people -to dinner for--and not let us come in. - -'Poor people are very proud,' said Alice, 'and I expect Father thought -the Indian would be ashamed, if all of us children knew how poor he -was.' - -Then Dora said, 'Poverty is no disgrace. We should honour honest -Poverty.' - -And we all agreed that that was so. - -'I wish his dinner had not been so nasty,' Dora said, while Oswald put -lumps of coal on the fire with his fingers, so as not to make a noise. -He is a very thoughtful boy, and he did not wipe his fingers on his -trouser leg as perhaps Noel or H. O. would have done, but he just rubbed -them on Dora's handkerchief while she was talking. - -'I am afraid the dinner was horrid.' Dora went on. 'The table looked -very nice with the flowers we got. I set it myself, and Eliza made me -borrow the silver spoons and forks from Albert-next-door's Mother.' - -'I hope the poor Indian is honest,' said Dicky gloomily, 'when you are a -poor, broken-down man silver spoons must be a great temptation.' - -Oswald told him not to talk such tommy-rot because the Indian was a -relation, so of course he couldn't do anything dishonourable. And Dora -said it was all right any way, because she had washed up the spoons and -forks herself and counted them, and they were all there, and she had put -them into their wash-leather bag, and taken them back to Albert-next- -door's Mother. - -'And the brussels sprouts were all wet and swimmy,' she went on, 'and -the potatoes looked grey--and there were bits of black in the gravy--and -the mutton was bluey-red and soft in the middle. I saw it when it came -out. The apple-pie looked very nice--but it wasn't quite done in the -apply part. The other thing that was burnt--you must have smelt it, was -the soup.' - -'It is a pity,' said Oswald; 'I don't suppose he gets a good dinner -every day.' - -'No more do we,' said H. O., 'but we shall to-morrow.' - -I thought of all the things we had bought with our half-sovereign--the -rabbit and the sweets and the almonds and raisins and figs and the -coconut: and I thought of the nasty mutton and things, and while I was -thinking about it all Alice said-- - -'Let's ask the poor Indian to come to dinner with _us_ to-morrow.' I -should have said it myself if she had given me time. - -We got the little ones to go to bed by promising to put a note on their -dressing-table saying what had happened, so that they might know the -first thing in the morning, or in the middle of the night if they -happened to wake up, and then we elders arranged everything. - -I waited by the back door, and when the Uncle was beginning to go Dicky -was to drop a marble down between the banisters for a signal, so that I -could run round and meet the Uncle as he came out. - -This seems like deceit, but if you are a thoughtful and considerate boy -you will understand that we could not go down and say to the Uncle in -the hall under Father's eye, 'Father has given you a beastly, nasty -dinner, but if you will come to dinner with us tomorrow, we will show -you our idea of good things to eat.' You will see, if you think it -over, that this would not have been at all polite to Father. - -So when the Uncle left, Father saw him to the door and let him out, and -then went back to the study, looking very sad, Dora says. - -As the poor Indian came down our steps he saw me there at the gate. - -I did not mind his being poor, and I said, 'Good evening, Uncle,' just -as politely as though he had been about to ascend into one of the gilded -chariots of the rich and affluent, instead of having to walk to the -station a quarter of a mile in the mud, unless he had the money for a -tram fare. - -'Good evening, Uncle.' I said it again, for he stood staring at me. I -don't suppose he was used to politeness from boys--some boys are -anything but--especially to the Aged Poor. - -So I said, 'Good evening, Uncle,' yet once again. Then he said-- - -'Time you were in bed, young man. Eh!--what?' - -Then I saw I must speak plainly with him, man to man. So I did. I -said-- - -'You've been dining with my Father, and we couldn't help hearing you say -the dinner was shocking. So we thought as you're an Indian, perhaps -you're very poor'--I didn't like to tell him we had heard the dreadful -truth from his own lips, so I went on, 'because of "Lo, the poor -Indian"--you know--and you can't get a good dinner every day. And we -are very sorry if you're poor; and won't you come and have dinner with -us to-morrow--with us children, I mean? It's a very, very good dinner-- -rabbit, and hardbake, and coconut--and you needn't mind us knowing -you're poor, because we know honourable poverty is no disgrace, and--' I -could have gone on much longer, but he interrupted me to say--'Upon my -word! And what's your name, eh?' - -'Oswald Bastable,' I said; and I do hope you people who are reading this -story have not guessed before that I was Oswald all the time. - -'Oswald Bastable, eh? Bless my soul!' said the poor Indian. 'Yes, I'll -dine with you, Mr Oswald Bastable, with all the pleasure in life. Very -kind and cordial invitation, I'm sure. Good night, sir. At one o'clock, -I presume?' - -'Yes, at one,' I said. 'Good night, sir.' - -Then I went in and told the others, and we wrote a paper and put it on -the boy's dressing-table, and it said-- - -'The poor Indian is coming at one. He seemed very grateful to me for my -kindness.' - -We did not tell Father that the Uncle was coming to dinner with us, for -the polite reason that I have explained before. But we had to tell -Eliza; so we said a friend was coming to dinner and we wanted everything -very nice. I think she thought it was Albert-next-door, but she was in -a good temper that day, and she agreed to cook the rabbit and to make a -pudding with currants in it. And when one o'clock came the Indian Uncle -came too. I let him in and helped him off with his greatcoat, which was -all furry inside, and took him straight to the nursery. We were to have -dinner there as usual, for we had decided from the first that he would -enjoy himself more if he was not made a stranger of. We agreed to treat -him as one of ourselves, because if we were too polite, he might think -it was our pride because he was poor. - -He shook hands with us all and asked our ages, and what schools we went -to, and shook his head when we said we were having a holiday just now. -I felt rather uncomfortable--I always do when they talk about schools-- -and I couldn't think of anything to say to show him we meant to treat -him as one of ourselves. I did ask if he played cricket. He said he -had not played lately. And then no one said anything till dinner came -in. We had all washed our faces and hands and brushed our hair before -he came in, and we all looked very nice, especially Oswald, who had had -his hair cut that very morning. When Eliza had brought in the rabbit -and gone out again, we looked at each other in silent despair, like in -books. It seemed as if it were going to be just a dull dinner like the -one the poor Indian had had the night before; only, of course, the -things to eat would be nicer. Dicky kicked Oswald under the table to -make him say something--and he had his new boots on, too!--but Oswald -did not kick back; then the Uncle asked-- - -'Do you carve, sir, or shall I?' - -Suddenly Alice said-- - -'Would you like grown-up dinner, Uncle, or play-dinner?' - -He did not hesitate a moment, but said, 'Play-dinner, by all means. -Eh!--what?' and then we knew it was all right. - -So we at once showed the Uncle how to be a dauntless hunter. The rabbit -was the deer we had slain in the green forest with our trusty yew bows, -and we toasted the joints of it, when the Uncle had carved it, on bits -of firewood sharpened to a point. The Uncle's piece got a little burnt, -but he said it was delicious, and he said game was always nicer when you -had killed it yourself. When Eliza had taken away the rabbit bones and -brought in the pudding, we waited till she had gone out and shut the -door, and then we put the dish down on the floor and slew the pudding in -the dish in the good old-fashioned way. It was a wild boar at bay, and -very hard indeed to kill, even with forks. The Uncle was very fierce -indeed with the pudding, and jumped and howled when he speared it, but -when it came to his turn to be helped, he said, 'No, thank you; think of -my liver. Eh!--what?' - -But he had some almonds and raisins--when we had climbed to the top of -the chest of drawers to pluck them from the boughs of the great trees; -and he had a fig from the cargo that the rich merchants brought in their -ship--the long drawer was the ship--and the rest of us had the sweets -and the coconut. It was a very glorious and beautiful feast, and when -it was over we said we hoped it was better than the dinner last night. -And he said: - -'I never enjoyed a dinner more.' He was too polite to say what he -really thought about Father's dinner. And we saw that though he might -be poor, he was a true gentleman. - -He smoked a cigar while we finished up what there was left to eat, and -told us about tiger shooting and about elephants. We asked him about -wigwams, and wampum, and mocassins, and beavers, but he did not seem to -know, or else he was shy about talking of the wonders of his native -land. - -We liked him very much indeed, and when he was going at last, Alice -nudged me, and I said--'There's one and threepence farthing left out of -our half-sovereign. Will you take it, please, because we do like you -very much indeed, and we don't want it, really; and we would rather you -had it.' And I put the money into his hand. - -'I'll take the threepenny-bit,' he said, turning the money over and -looking at it, 'but I couldn't rob you of the rest. By the way, where -did you get the money for this most royal spread--half a sovereign you -said--eh, what?' - -We told him all about the different ways we had looked for treasure, and -when we had been telling some time he sat down, to listen better and at -last we told him how Alice had played at divining-rod, and how it really -had found a half-sovereign. - -Then he said he would like to see her do it again. But we explained -that the rod would only show gold and silver, and that we were quite -sure there was no more gold in the house, because we happened to have -looked very carefully. - -'Well, silver, then,' said he; 'let's hide the plate-basket, and little -Alice shall make the divining-rod find it. Eh!--what?' - -'There isn't any silver in the plate-basket now,' Dora said. 'Eliza -asked me to borrow the silver spoons and forks for your dinner last -night from Albert-next-door's Mother. Father never notices, but she -thought it would be nicer for you. Our own silver went to have the dents -taken out; and I don't think Father could afford to pay the man for -doing it, for the silver hasn't come back.' - -'Bless my soul!' said the Uncle again, looking at the hole in the big -chair that we burnt when we had Guy Fawkes' Day indoors. 'And how much -pocket-money do you get? Eh!--what?' - -'We don't have any now,' said Alice; 'but indeed we don't want the other -shilling. We'd much rather you had it, wouldn't we?' - -And the rest of us said, 'Yes.' The Uncle wouldn't take it, but he -asked a lot of questions, and at last he went away. And when he went he -said-- - -'Well, youngsters, I've enjoyed myself very much. I shan't forget your -kind hospitality. Perhaps the poor Indian may be in a position to ask -you all to dinner some day.' - -Oswald said if he ever could we should like to come very much, but he -was not to trouble to get such a nice dinner as ours, because we could -do very well with cold mutton and rice pudding. We do not like these -things, but Oswald knows how to behave. Then the poor Indian went away. - -We had not got any treasure by this party, but we had had a very good -time, and I am sure the Uncle enjoyed himself. - -We were so sorry he was gone that we could none of us eat much tea; but -we did not mind, because we had pleased the poor Indian and enjoyed -ourselves too. Besides, as Dora said, 'A contented mind is a continual -feast,' so it did not matter about not wanting tea. - -Only H. O. did not seem to think a continual feast was a contented mind, -and Eliza gave him a powder in what was left of the red-currant jelly -Father had for the nasty dinner. - -But the rest of us were quite well, and I think it must have been the -coconut with H. O. We hoped nothing had disagreed with the Uncle, but we -never knew. - - - -CHAPTER 16 -THE END OF THE TREASURE-SEEKING - -Now it is coming near the end of our treasure-seeking, and the end was -so wonderful that now nothing is like it used to be. It is like as if -our fortunes had been in an earthquake, and after those, you know, -everything comes out wrong-way up. - -The day after the Uncle speared the pudding with us opened in gloom and -sadness. But you never know. It was destined to be a day when things -happened. Yet no sign of this appeared in the early morning. Then all -was misery and upsetness. None of us felt quite well; I don't know why: -and Father had one of his awful colds, so Dora persuaded him not to go -to London, but to stay cosy and warm in the study, and she made him some -gruel. She makes it better than Eliza does; Eliza's gruel is all little -lumps, and when you suck them it is dry oatmeal inside. - -We kept as quiet as we could, and I made H. O. do some lessons, like the -G. B. had advised us to. But it was very dull. There are some days -when you seem to have got to the end of all the things that could ever -possibly happen to you, and you feel you will spend all the rest of your -life doing dull things just the same way. Days like this are generally -wet days. But, as I said, you never know. - -Then Dicky said if things went on like this he should run away to sea, -and Alice said she thought it would be rather nice to go into a convent. -H. O. was a little disagreeable because of the powder Eliza had given -him, so he tried to read two books at once, one with each eye, just -because Noel wanted one of the books, which was very selfish of him, so -it only made his headache worse. H. O. is getting old enough to learn -by experience that it is wrong to be selfish, and when he complained -about his head Oswald told him whose fault it was, because I am older -than he is, and it is my duty to show him where he is wrong. But he -began to cry, and then Oswald had to cheer him up because of Father -wanting to be quiet. So Oswald said-- - -'They'll eat H. O. if you don't look out!' And Dora said Oswald was too -bad. - -Of course Oswald was not going to interfere again, so he went to look -out of the window and see the trams go by, and by and by H. O. came and -looked out too, and Oswald, who knows when to be generous and forgiving, -gave him a piece of blue pencil and two nibs, as good as new, to keep. - -As they were looking out at the rain splashing on the stones in the -street they saw a four-wheeled cab come lumbering up from the way the -station is. Oswald called out-- - -'Here comes the coach of the Fairy Godmother. It'll stop here, you see -if it doesn't!' - -So they all came to the window to look. Oswald had only said that about -stopping and he was stricken with wonder and amaze when the cab really -did stop. It had boxes on the top and knobby parcels sticking out of the -window, and it was something like going away to the seaside and -something like the gentleman who takes things about in a carriage with -the wooden shutters up, to sell to the drapers' shops. The cabman got -down, and some one inside handed out ever so many parcels of different -shapes and sizes, and the cabman stood holding them in his arms and -grinning over them. - -Dora said, 'It is a pity some one doesn't tell him this isn't the -house.' And then from inside the cab some one put out a foot feeling -for the step, like a tortoise's foot coming out from under his shell -when you are holding him off the ground, and then a leg came and more -parcels, and then Noel cried-- - -'It's the poor Indian!' - -And it was. - -Eliza opened the door, and we were all leaning over the banisters. -Father heard the noise of parcels and boxes in the hall, and he came out -without remembering how bad his cold was. If you do that yourself when -you have a cold they call you careless and naughty. Then we heard the -poor Indian say to Father-- - -'I say, Dick, I dined with your kids yesterday--as I daresay they've -told you. Jolliest little cubs I ever saw! Why didn't you let me see -them the other night? The eldest is the image of poor Janey--and as to -young Oswald, he's a man! If he's not a man, I'm a nigger! Eh!--what? -And Dick, I say, I shouldn't wonder if I could find a friend to put a -bit into that business of yours--eh?' - -Then he and Father went into the study and the door was shut--and we -went down and looked at the parcels. Some were done up in old, dirty -newspapers, and tied with bits of rag, and some were in brown paper and -string from the shops, and there were boxes. We wondered if the Uncle -had come to stay and this was his luggage, or whether it was to sell. -Some of it smelt of spices, like merchandise--and one bundle Alice felt -certain was a bale. We heard a hand on the knob of the study door after -a bit, and Alice said-- - -'Fly!' and we all got away but H. O., and the Uncle caught him by the -leg as he was trying to get upstairs after us. - -'Peeping at the baggage, eh?' said the Uncle, and the rest of us came -down because it would have been dishonourable to leave H. O. alone in a -scrape, and we wanted to see what was in the parcels. - -'I didn't touch,' said H. O. 'Are you coming to stay? I hope you are.' - -'No harm done if you did touch,' said the good, kind, Indian man to all -of us. 'For all these parcels are _for you_.' - -I have several times told you about our being dumb with amazement and -terror and joy, and things like that, but I never remember us being -dumber than we were when he said this. - -The Indian Uncle went on: 'I told an old friend of mine what a pleasant -dinner I had with you, and about the threepenny-bit, and the divining- -rod, and all that, and he sent all these odds and ends as presents for -you. Some of the things came from India.' - -'Have you come from India, Uncle?' Noel asked; and when he said 'Yes' we -were all very much surprised, for we never thought of his being that -sort of Indian. We thought he was the Red kind, and of course his not -being accounted for his ignorance of beavers and things. - -He got Eliza to help, and we took all the parcels into the nursery and -he undid them and undid them and undid them, till the papers lay thick -on the floor. Father came too and sat in the Guy Fawkes chair. I cannot -begin to tell you all the things that kind friend of Uncle's had sent -us. He must be a very agreeable person. - -There were toys for the kids and model engines for Dick and me, and a -lot of books, and Japanese china tea-sets for the girls, red and white -and gold--there were sweets by the pound and by the box--and long yards -and yards of soft silk from India, to make frocks for the girls--and a -real Indian sword for Oswald and a book of Japanese pictures for Noel, -and some ivory chess men for Dicky: the castles of the chessmen are -elephant-and-castles. There is a railway station called that; I never -knew what it meant before. The brown paper and string parcels had boxes -of games in them--and big cases of preserved fruits and things. And the -shabby old newspaper parcels and the boxes had the Indian things in. I -never saw so many beautiful things before. There were carved fans and -silver bangles and strings of amber beads, and necklaces of uncut gems-- -turquoises and garnets, the Uncle said they were--and shawls and scarves -of silk, and cabinets of brown and gold, and ivory boxes and silver -trays, and brass things. The Uncle kept saying, 'This is for you, young -man,' or 'Little Alice will like this fan,'or 'Miss Dora would look well -in this green silk, I think. Eh!--what?' - -And Father looked on as if it was a dream, till the Uncle suddenly gave -him an ivory paper-knife and a box of cigars, and said, 'My old friend -sent you these, Dick; he's an old friend of yours too, he says.' And he -winked at my Father, for H. O. and I saw him. And my Father winked -back, though he has always told us not to. - -That was a wonderful day. It was a treasure, and no mistake! I never -saw such heaps and heaps of presents, like things out of a fairy-tale-- -and even Eliza had a shawl. Perhaps she deserved it, for she did cook -the rabbit and the pudding; and Oswald says it is not her fault if her -nose turns up and she does not brush her hair. I do not think Eliza -likes brushing things. It is the same with the carpets. But Oswald -tries to make allowances even for people who do not wash their ears. - -The Indian Uncle came to see us often after that, and his friend always -sent us something. Once he tipped us a sovereign each--the Uncle -brought it; and once he sent us money to go to the Crystal Palace, and -the Uncle took us; and another time to a circus; and when Christmas was -near the Uncle said-- - -'You remember when I dined with you, some time ago, you promised to dine -with me some day, if I could ever afford to give a dinner-party. Well, -I'm going to have one--a Christmas party. Not on Christmas Day, because -every one goes home then--but on the day after. Cold mutton and rice -pudding. You'll come? Eh!--what?' - -We said we should be delighted, if Father had no objection, because that -is the proper thing to say, and the poor Indian, I mean the Uncle, said, -'No, your Father won't object--he's coming too, bless your soul!' - -We all got Christmas presents for the Uncle. The girls made him a -handkerchief case and a comb bag, out of some of the pieces of silk he -had given them. I got him a knife with three blades; H. O. got a siren -whistle, a very strong one, and Dicky joined with me in the knife, and -Noel would give the Indian ivory box that Uncle's friend had sent on the -wonderful Fairy Cab day. He said it was the very nicest thing he had, -and he was sure Uncle wouldn't mind his not having bought it with his -own money. - -I think Father's business must have got better--perhaps Uncle's friend -put money in it and that did it good, like feeding the starving. Anyway -we all had new suits, and the girls had the green silk from India made -into frocks, and on Boxing Day we went in two cabs--Father and the girls -in one, and us boys in the other. - -We wondered very much where the Indian Uncle lived, because we had not -been told. And we thought when the cab began to go up the hill towards -the Heath that perhaps the Uncle lived in one of the poky little houses -up at the top of Greenwich. But the cab went right over the Heath and -in at some big gates, and through a shrubbery all white with frost like -a fairy forest, because it was Christmas time. And at last we stopped -before one of those jolly, big, ugly red houses with a lot of windows, -that are so comfortable inside, and on the steps was the Indian Uncle, -looking very big and grand, in a blue cloth coat and yellow sealskin -waistcoat, with a bunch of seals hanging from it. - -'I wonder whether he has taken a place as butler here?' said Dicky. - -'A poor, broken-down man--' - -Noel thought it was very likely, because he knew that in these big -houses there were always thousands of stately butlers. - -The Uncle came down the steps and opened the cab door himself, which I -don't think butlers would expect to have to do. And he took us in. It -was a lovely hall, with bear and tiger skins on the floor, and a big -clock with the faces of the sun and moon dodging out when it was day or -night, and Father Time with a scythe coming out at the hours, and the -name on it was 'Flint. Ashford. 1776'; and there was a fox eating a -stuffed duck in a glass case, and horns of stags and other animals over -the doors. - -'We'll just come into my study first,' said the Uncle, 'and wish each -other a Merry Christmas.' So then we knew he wasn't the butler, but it -must be his own house, for only the master of the house has a study. - -His study was not much like Father's. It had hardly any books, but -swords and guns and newspapers and a great many boots, and boxes half -unpacked, with more Indian things bulging out of them. - -We gave him our presents and he was awfully pleased. Then he gave us -his Christmas presents. You must be tired of hearing about presents, -but I must remark that all the Uncle's presents were watches; there was -a watch for each of us, with our names engraved inside, all silver -except H. O.'s, and that was a Waterbury, 'To match his boots,' the -Uncle said. I don't know what he meant. - -Then the Uncle looked at Father, and Father said, 'You tell them, sir.' - -So the Uncle coughed and stood up and made a speech. He said-- - -'Ladies and gentlemen, we are met together to discuss an important -subject which has for some weeks engrossed the attention of the -honourable member opposite and myself.' - -I said, 'Hear, hear,' and Alice whispered, 'What happened to the guinea- -pig?' Of course you know the answer to that. - -The Uncle went on-- - -'I am going to live in this house, and as it's rather big for me, your -Father has agreed that he and you shall come and live with me. And so, -if you're agreeable, we're all going to live here together, and, please -God, it'll be a happy home for us all. Eh!--what?' - -He blew his nose and kissed us all round. As it was Christmas I did not -mind, though I am much too old for it on other dates. Then he said, -'Thank you all very much for your presents; but I've got a present here -I value more than anything else I have.' - -I thought it was not quite polite of him to say so, till I saw that what -he valued so much was a threepenny-bit on his watch-chain, and, of -course, I saw it must be the one we had given him. - -He said, 'You children gave me that when you thought I was the poor -Indian, and I'll keep it as long as I live. And I've asked some friends -to help us to be jolly, for this is our house-warming. Eh!--what?' - -Then he shook Father by the hand, and they blew their noses; and then -Father said, 'Your Uncle has been most kind--most--' - -But Uncle interrupted by saying, 'Now, Dick, no nonsense!' Then H. O. -said, 'Then you're not poor at all?' as if he were very disappointed. -The Uncle replied, 'I have enough for my simple wants, thank you, H. O.; -and your Father's business will provide him with enough for yours. -Eh!--what?' - -Then we all went down and looked at the fox thoroughly, and made the -Uncle take the glass off so that we could see it all round and then the -Uncle took us all over the house, which is the most comfortable one I -have ever been in. There is a beautiful portrait of Mother in Father's -sitting-room. The Uncle must be very rich indeed. This ending is like -what happens in Dickens's books; but I think it was much jollier to -happen like a book, and it shows what a nice man the Uncle is, the way -he did it all. - -Think how flat it would have been if the Uncle had said, when we first -offered him the one and threepence farthing, 'Oh, I don't want your -dirty one and three-pence! I'm very rich indeed.' Instead of which he -saved up the news of his wealth till Christmas, and then told us all in -one glorious burst. Besides, I can't help it if it is like Dickens, -because it happens this way. Real life is often something like books. - -Presently, when we had seen the house, we were taken into the drawing- -room, and there was Mrs Leslie, who gave us the shillings and wished us -good hunting, and Lord Tottenham, and Albert-next-door's Uncle--and -Albert-next-door, and his Mother (I'm not very fond of her), and best of -all our own Robber and his two kids, and our Robber had a new suit on. -The Uncle told us he had asked the people who had been kind to us, and -Noel said, 'Where is my noble editor that I wrote the poetry to?' - -The Uncle said he had not had the courage to ask a strange editor to -dinner; but Lord Tottenham was an old friend of Uncle's, and he had -introduced Uncle to Mrs Leslie, and that was how he had the pride and -pleasure of welcoming her to our house-warming. And he made her a bow -like you see on a Christmas card. - -Then Alice asked, 'What about Mr Rosenbaum? He was kind; it would have -been a pleasant surprise for him.' - -But everybody laughed, and Uncle said-- - -'Your father has paid him the sovereign he lent you. I don't think he -could have borne another pleasant surprise.' - -And I said there was the butcher, and he was really kind; but they only -laughed, and Father said you could not ask all your business friends to -a private dinner. - -Then it was dinner-time, and we thought of Uncle's talk about cold -mutton and rice. But it was a beautiful dinner, and I never saw such a -dessert! We had ours on plates to take away into another sitting-room, -which was much jollier than sitting round the table with the grown-ups. -But the Robber's kids stayed with their Father. They were very shy and -frightened, and said hardly anything, but looked all about with very -bright eyes. H. O. thought they were like white mice; but afterwards we -got to know them very well, and in the end they were not so mousy. And -there is a good deal of interesting stuff to tell about them; but I -shall put all that in another book, for there is no room for it in this -one. We played desert islands all the afternoon and drank Uncle's health -in ginger wine. It was H. O. that upset his over Alice's green silk -dress, and she never even rowed him. Brothers ought not to have -favourites, and Oswald would never be so mean as to have a favourite -sister, or, if he had, wild horses should not make him tell who it was. - -And now we are to go on living in the big house on the Heath, and it is -very jolly. - -Mrs Leslie often comes to see us, and our own Robber and Albert-next- -door's uncle. The Indian Uncle likes him because he has been in India -too and is brown; but our Uncle does not like Albert-next-door. He says -he is a muff. And I am to go to Rugby, and so are Noel and H. O., and -perhaps to Balliol afterwards. Balliol is my Father's college. It has -two separate coats of arms, which many other colleges are not allowed. -Noel is going to be a poet and Dicky wants to go into Father's business. - -The Uncle is a real good old sort; and just think, we should never have -found him if we hadn't made up our minds to be Treasure Seekers! Noel -made a poem about it-- - - Lo! the poor Indian from lands afar, - Comes where the treasure seekers are; - We looked for treasure, but we find - The best treasure of all is the Uncle good and kind. - -I thought it was rather rot, but Alice would show it to the Uncle, and -he liked it very much. He kissed Alice and he smacked Noel on the back, -and he said, 'I don't think I've done so badly either, if you come to -that, though I was never a regular professional treasure seeker. Eh!-- -what?' - - - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Story of the Treasure Seekers, by E. 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